This is a modern-English version of What a Young Husband Ought to Know, originally written by Stall, Sylvanus. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

Scroll to the bottom of this page and you will find a free ePUB download link for this book.


Transcriber's Note

  • Eighteen pages of advertising and reviews have been shifted to the end of the main body.
  • In general, spelling, hyphenation, and capitalization have been retained as in the original publication.
  • Minor typographical errors have been corrected without note.
  • Significant typographical errors have been corrected and are marked with dotted underlines. Place your mouse over the highlighted word and the original text will appear. A full list of these same corrections is also available in the Transcriber's Corrections section at the end of the book.


SYLVANUS STALL, PH.D.

[Pg iii] Price $1.00 net
4s. net

[Pg iii] Price $1.00 net
£0.20 net

PURITY AND TRUTH

WHAT A YOUNG HUSBAND SHOULD KNOW

BY
Sylvanus Stall, D.D.

Author of "What a Young Boy Ought to Know," "What a Young Man Ought to Know," "What a Man of 45 Ought to Know," "Methods of Church Work," "Five-Minute Object Sermons to Children," "Talks to the King's Children," "Faces Toward the Light," etc.




"The Glory of Young Men is Their Strength."




Philadelphia, PA: 2237 Land Title Building.

THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY

London:
7 Imperial Arcade,
Ludgate Circus, EC
Toronto:
Wm. Briggs,
33 Richmond St W.




Copyright, 1897, by SYLVANUS STALL

Copyright, 1897, by SYLVANUS STALL


Entered at Stationers' Hall, London, England

Entered at Stationers' Hall, London, England

Protected by International copyright in Great Britain and all her colonies, and, under the provisions of the Berne Convention, in Belgium, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Switzerland, Tunis, Hayti, Luxembourg, Monaco, Montenegro, and Norway

Protected by international copyright in Great Britain and all her colonies, and, under the provisions of the Berne Convention, in Belgium, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Switzerland, Tunisia, Haiti, Luxembourg, Monaco, Montenegro, and Norway.


All rights reserved



[PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES]

All rights reserved



[PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES]


Dedicated

Committed

TO

TO

THE SANCTITY OF HOME, THE PURITY AND BLESSING
OF THE HUSBAND AND WIFE, AND THE WELL-BEING
OF THEIR OFFSPRING

THE SANCTITY OF HOME, THE PURITY AND BLESSING
OF THE HUSBAND AND WIFE, AND THE WELL-BEING
OF THEIR CHILDREN


CONTENTS.

TABLE OF CONTENTS.


PART I.

PART I.

CONCERNING HIMSELF.

ABOUT HIMSELF.

CHAPTER I.

CHAPTER 1.

THE RELATION OF MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP.

The new relation full of new meaning.—Lifted into a higher realm.—Love transforms the nature.—Marriage the estate of man's highest happiness.—The awakening of reproductive life in field and forest.—These powers may be held in abeyance.—They also have their proper exercise.—Reason to rule over passion.—The need of a strong emotional nature in men and in women.—Sexual nature should not be immolated.—Vice and lust cannot bring happiness.—The sensual usurper must be deposed and love enthroned.—This our effort and our justification,25

The new relationship filled with fresh meaning.—Raised to a higher level.—Love changes everything.—Marriage is the peak of human happiness.—The awakening of reproductive life in nature.—These abilities can be held back.—They also have their rightful place.—Reason should control passion.—There’s a need for a strong emotional presence in both men and women.—Sexual nature shouldn’t be sacrificed.—Immorality and desire won’t lead to happiness.—The sensual ruler must be removed and love placed on the throne.—This is our effort and our justification,25

CHAPTER II.

CHAPTER 2.

DIFFERENCES OF SEX.

GENDER DIFFERENCES.

Each sex superior in its sphere.—Two parts of a complete unit.—Differences between men and women.—Physically.—Intellectually.—These differences complemental.—The more nervous sensibilities of woman.—The earliest manifestation of sex characteristics.—All life from an egg.—The human egg, size, etc.—The ovum always passive.—The spermatozoön, or sperm, always active.—Their remarkable vitality.—The quicker pulse of male children at birth.[Pg viii]—Greater activity of boys.—While more male children are born, a larger per cent. die in infancy.—Women endure more and live longer.—Woman's more passive nature recognized by the civil law, 31

Each sex is superior in its own way.—Two parts of a complete unit.—Differences between men and women.—Physically.—Intellectually.—These differences are complementary.—Women have more sensitive nervous systems.—The earliest signs of sexual characteristics.—All life starts from an egg.—The human egg, its size, etc.—The ovum is always passive.—The sperm, or spermatozoon, is always active.—Their remarkable vitality.—Male infants have a quicker heartbeat at birth.[Pg viii]—Boys are generally more active.—While more male children are born, a higher percentage die in infancy.—Women endure more and tend to live longer.—A woman's more passive nature is recognized by the civil law, 31

CHAPTER III.

CHAPTER 3.

DIFFERENCES OF SEX.

SEX DIFFERENCES.

(Continued.)

(Continued.)

Women keep life stable.—Men keep it from stagnation.—Influence of each a corrective upon the other.—The law of mental and physical resemblance of elderly married persons.—Why woman possesses the stronger moral nature.—How husband and children are benefited.—The savage tribes manifest the dominant male characteristics.—Civilized nations take upon them the best characteristics of the feminine type.—The best characteristics of each sex finds modified expression in the other.—The beneficial effects which God secures by the union of an active with a passive sexual nature in marriage.—The well-being of both bettered.—Mutual intelligence begets harmony, while ignorance produces discord and misery.—The reproductive organs differentiated in man and in woman.—The same organs modified, differently placed, and assigned a different office, 41

Women keep life stable. Men keep it from stagnating. Each influences the other as a corrective. There's a pattern of mental and physical similarity in older married couples. This is why women have a stronger moral nature. It benefits the husband and children. In primitive tribes, male traits are dominant. Civilized nations adopt the best traits of the feminine type. The best qualities of each sex find modified expression in the other. The beneficial effects that result from the union of an active with a passive sexual nature in marriage improve the well-being of both. Mutual understanding creates harmony, while ignorance leads to conflict and suffering. The reproductive organs are different in men and women. The same organs are modified, positioned differently, and assigned different roles. 41

CHAPTER IV.

CHAPTER 4.

ESSENTIALS IN HUSBAND AND HOME.

Essentials for Husband and Home.

Requisites in a good husband.—Woman's love of home and its adornments.—Keeping up the courtship.—The home, the club, and the loafing-place.—An instance in point.—The right of the wife to share the husband's recreations, diversions and pleasures.—The wife's greater need of relaxation and diversion.—Dr. Farrar's picture of a considerate husband.—Wo[Pg ix]man's love of being wooed.—Not marriage, but the parties to it, often a failure.—Degraded views concerning women often held.—Domineering wives and husbands.—The Zuni Indians.—The Scriptural teaching.—Industry essential to happiness in the home.—The claims of religion to be recognized.—The conditions of the wicked and godly contrasted.—The promise of the life that now is, as well as that which is to come, 53

Requisites in a good husband.—A woman's love for home and its decor.—Keeping the romance alive.—The home, the club, and the hangout spot.—An example to consider.—The wife's right to participate in her husband's activities, pastimes, and enjoyment.—The wife's greater need for relaxation and fun.—Dr. Farrar's depiction of a thoughtful husband.—A woman's love of being courted.—Not marriage itself, but the individuals in it, often fail.—Misguided beliefs about women that are still held.—Controlling spouses, both wives and husbands.—The Zuni Indians.—What the Scriptures say.—Hard work is crucial for happiness at home.—The importance of recognizing religious claims.—Contrasting the circumstances of the wicked and the righteous.—The promise of both this life and the next, 53

CHAPTER V.

CHAPTER 5.

THE PHYSICAL COST OF PROCREATION.

THE PHYSICAL COST OF HAVING KIDS.

Boxing the compass, or proving the principles.—Prevalent ignorance on subjects relating to sex.—Lessons taught by the reproduction of vegetable life.—The green scum of the pond.—Reproduction costs life.—Death as the result of reproduction among fishes.—Reproduction among insects.—The drone and the queen bee.—With the birds, death as the result of reproduction disappears.—With animals, the ovum and sperm are reduced to microscopic proportions.—The inclination to beget, a premonition of decay and death.—Procreation costs vital force.—Reproductive inclination periodic among the lower animals.—More continuous in man.—Benefits of restraint.—Strict continence often an imperative duty.—Instances named, 74

Boxing the compass, or proving the principles.—Common ignorance about sexual topics.—Lessons learned from how plants reproduce.—The green scum on the pond.—Reproduction comes at a cost of life.—Death resulting from reproduction in fish.—Reproductive processes in insects.—The drone and the queen bee.—In birds, the death that comes from reproduction is no longer a factor.—In animals, the egg and sperm are tiny, almost microscopic.—The urge to reproduce is a hint of decay and death.—Procreation drains vital energy.—Reproductive urges are seasonal in lower animals.—They're more constant in humans.—The benefits of self-control.—Strict abstinence is often a crucial duty.—Examples given, 74

CHAPTER VI.

CHAPTER 6.

MARITAL MODERATION.

Marriage Balance.

Twofold nature of love.—Rooted in the physical, flowers in the spiritual.—Lust often miscalled love.—Three theories concerning the marital relation.—Unrestrained indulgence for men.—For procreation only.—As an expression of affection and for mutual endearment.—The per[Pg x]petuity of the race and the highest good of the individual consistent.—What is marital moderation?—Difficulty in defining.—The reproductive sense, like hunger, to be brought under the dominion of intelligence and refinement.—The worm and the wild animals contrasted with man in the satisfying of hunger.—Jeremy Taylor's rule.—Strong words from Mrs. E. B. Duffey.—Marital moderation vs. conjugal debauchery.—Limits set by some physicians.—No one rule equally applicable in all cases.—Physical conditions of both husband and wife to be considered.—Degrading effects of sexual excess.—The wishes of the wife always to be respected.—Stimulating food, books, pictures, etc.—Importance of single beds and separate apartments.—Opinions of others quoted.—Physical culture as a corrective.—Manly mastery worth all it costs.—The struggle not endless, 85

Twofold nature of love.—Rooted in the physical, blossoming in the spiritual.—Lust often mistakenly called love.—Three theories about marriage.—Unrestrained indulgence for men.—For procreation only.—As a way to express affection and deepen emotional bonds.—The continuation of the human race and the highest good of the individual are compatible.—What does marital moderation mean?—It's hard to define.—The reproductive instinct, like hunger, should be guided by intelligence and refinement.—The worm and wild animals differ from humans in how they satisfy hunger.—Jeremy Taylor's principle.—Strong statements from Mrs. E. B. Duffey.—Marital moderation versus sexual excess.—Limits suggested by some doctors.—No single rule applies to all situations.—The physical conditions of both husband and wife need to be taken into account.—The degrading effects of sexual excess.—The wife's wishes must always be respected.—Stimulating food, books, pictures, etc.—The importance of single beds and separate living spaces.—Opinions of others cited.—Physical culture as a remedy.—True mastery is worth all the effort.—The struggle isn’t endless, 85

CHAPTER VII.

CHAPTER 7.

DEFECTS AND DEFICIENCIES.

FLAWS AND SHORTCOMINGS.

Apprehensions awakened.—Foolish and injurious expedients resorted to.—Actual impotence not frequent.—Consult only intelligent and conscientious physicians.—How to remove the apprehension.—Defects and deficiencies even less prevalent among females than among males.—Importance of proper treatment of the bride.—Rareness of deformity and abnormal conditions.—Weakness and diseased condition of the womb frequent among women.—No woman with serious womb trouble should marry.—How actual conditions can be accurately and properly determined, 103

Apprehensions arise. — Foolish and harmful solutions are used. — Actual impotence isn't common. — Only consult smart and caring doctors. — How to alleviate the anxiety. — Defects and deficiencies are even less common in females than in males. — The importance of proper treatment for the bride. — Deformities and abnormal conditions are rare. — Weakness and disease of the womb are common among women. — No woman with serious womb issues should marry. — How actual conditions can be accurately assessed, 103

CHAPTER VIII.

CHAPTER 8.

PURITY AND FIDELITY.

Purity and Loyalty.

Happiness dependent upon plain everyday principles.—The defilement of the breath.—Ef[Pg xi]fects on wife of the use of tobacco by the husband.—Effects upon physical and intellectual inheritance of offspring.—Effects of the use of liquor upon progeny.—The duty of fidelity.—One standard for both husband and wife.—The physical risks of impurity.—The sufferings of innocent and unsuspecting wives.—An impressive illustration.—Terrible effects suffered by wives as result of gonorrhœa in husbands.—Unmistakable testimony of eminent physicians.—Not only physical effects upon wife, but moral effects upon self and children, 110

Happiness relies on simple everyday principles. The impact of bad breath. The effects of a husband’s tobacco use on his wife. The effects on the physical and intellectual inheritance of children. The consequences of alcohol use on offspring. The responsibility of loyalty. One standard for both husband and wife. The physical risks of impurity. The suffering of innocent and unsuspecting wives. A striking example. The terrible effects experienced by wives due to gonorrhea in their husbands. Clear evidence from respected physicians. Not just the physical impact on the wife, but also moral effects on herself and the children. 110

PART II.

PART II.

CONCERNING HIS WIFE.

ABOUT HIS WIFE.

CHAPTER IX.

CHAPTER 9.

THE BRIDE.

THE BRIDE.

Importance of knowledge contained in preceding volume.—Woman possessed of less sexual inclinations than man.—Threefold classification.—Those largely devoid of sexual feeling.—This condition accounted for.—The large class to whom the pleasure is normal.—The third class consists of those in whom sexuality is a ruling passion.—Misfortune of such a condition in a wife.—Among animals the female determines the time of mating.—No rapes among animals.—The subjugation of the wife.—Her right over her own body.—The changes which come to the reproductive natures of men and women at middle life.—Noticeable effect of the new relation upon young married people.—The cause and cure of excessive sensual tendencies, 123

Importance of knowledge in the previous volume. — Women have less sexual desire than men. — Threefold classification. — Those largely lacking sexual feelings. — This condition explained. — The large group for whom pleasure is normal. — The third group consists of those whose sexuality is a dominant passion. — The challenges of such a condition in a wife. — In the animal kingdom, the female decides when to mate. — No instances of rape among animals. — The subjugation of the wife. — Her right over her own body. — The changes that occur in the reproductive capacities of men and women at midlife. — The noticeable impact of this new dynamic on young married couples. — The cause and solution for excessive sensual tendencies, 123

CHAPTER X.

CHAPTER X.

THE CARE OF THE BRIDE.

BRIDE'S CARE.

Few young husbands intelligent guardians of their brides.—Many brides totally ignorant of everything relating to sex.—Depleted physical[Pg xii] condition of most brides.—Ignorant brides and inconsiderate husbands.—Estrangement often begins with marriage.—The Grecian custom a good one.—An instance where passion and impatience resulted in a permanent separation.—Plain words by Dr. Guernsey.—Mrs. Duffey's warnings to rapacious young husbands.—Serious physical effects.—Dr. Napheys on the precipitancy of young husbands.—Physical inconvenience and discomfort of young brides.—What may be regarded as sufficient evidence of virginity.—Medical authorities quoted.—Idiots and imbeciles begotten as result of liquor used on wedding occasions.—Wedding joy "too good to last."—The wave cannot remain at its crest.—Have a home.—Dangers of hotel and boarding-house life.—Danger from debt.—Industry, happiness and health.—How to have joy abide to the end, 132

Few young husbands are smart guardians of their brides. Many brides are completely unaware of everything related to sex. The physical condition of most brides is often depleted. Ignorant brides and inconsiderate husbands are common. Estrangement often starts with marriage. The Grecian custom is a good one. There’s an example where passion and impatience led to a permanent separation. Dr. Guernsey speaks plainly. Mrs. Duffey warns about greedy young husbands. There are serious physical effects. Dr. Napheys discusses the rashness of young husbands. Young brides face physical discomfort and inconvenience. There are signs that may indicate virginity. Medical experts are quoted. Some children are born from parents who drank too much on their wedding day. Wedding happiness is often “too good to last.” The wave cannot stay at its peak. Have a home. There are dangers in hotel and boarding-house living. Debt poses a danger. Industry, happiness, and health are important. Here’s how to keep joy lasting until the end, 132

CHAPTER XI.

CHAPTER 11.

THE YOUNG WIFE AND MOTHERHOOD.

THE YOUNG WIFE AND MOTHERHOOD.

Manifold duties of the wife.—The great army of martyred wives and mothers.—Need of consideration on the part of husbands.—Parenthood the great purpose of marriage.—The great wrong of purposed and persistent evasion of parenthood.—It places lust upon the throne of love.—Such evasions always punished by nature.—Queen Victoria as a model mother.—Motherhood may not properly be forced upon an unwilling wife.—How to effect the necessary change of mind.—Why many wives are unwilling to become mothers.—How children mold the characters of husband and wife.—Children golden links to bind husband and wife more closely.—They are buffers to break the jars of family life.—They become their parents' benefactors.—Desire for children natural and commendable.—Barrenness.—Causes of, 146

Manifold duties of the wife.—The great army of martyred wives and mothers.—Need for consideration on the part of husbands.—Parenthood is the great purpose of marriage.—The great wrong of intentional and ongoing avoidance of parenthood.—It puts lust above love.—Such avoidance is always punished by nature.—Queen Victoria as a model mother.—Motherhood should not be forced upon an unwilling wife.—How to bring about the necessary change of mind.—Why many wives are reluctant to become mothers.—How children shape the characters of both husband and wife.—Children are golden links that bind husband and wife more closely.—They act as buffers to soften the strains of family life.—They become their parents' benefactors.—The desire for children is natural and commendable.—Infertility.—Causes of, 146

[Pg xiii]CHAPTER XII.

[Pg xiii]CHAPTER 12.

QUESTIONS CONCERNING OFFSPRING.

Questions About Offspring.

Natural for parents to desire offspring.—The prevalent unnatural desire to evade parenthood.—The crime of destroying unborn human life.—The law pronounces the crime murder.—The question of quickening.—Authorities quoted.—How the health and lives of mothers are sacrificed by abortion.—Character of "unwanted" children.—The desire to murder transmitted from mother to child.—The transmission of a predisposition to commit murder.—How the minds of young girls are prepared for child-murder.—Defective instruction and consequent ignorance.—How husbands drive wives to commit this great crime.—Awful testimony of wives.—The largest reproduction possible not intended.—Quantity as well as quality.—Culpable and criminal limitation of offspring.—Times when it is wrong to beget children.—Difficulties may be removed and fitness acquired.—How may the birth rate be rightly regulated?—What physicians say.—Unsafe, unsatisfactory and ruinous methods resorted to.—The Scriptural provision.—Benefits and dangers of "Prepared Parenthood."—Mental state at time of conjunction.—Mental and physical state of mother during gestation.—Signs of fruitful conjunction, 162

Natural for parents to want children. — The common but unnatural wish to avoid parenthood. — The crime of ending unborn human life. — The law considers this crime murder. — The issue of quickening. — Cited authorities. — How mothers' health and lives are risked by abortion. — Characteristics of "unwanted" children. — The urge to kill passed from mother to child. — The passing of a tendency to commit murder. — How young girls are influenced to think about child murder. — Poor education and subsequent ignorance. — How husbands push their wives into committing this grave act. — Terrible testimonials from wives. — The idea of maximum reproduction is not the goal. — Both quantity and quality matter. — Blameworthy and criminal limitation of children. — Situations where it is wrong to have children. — Challenges can be overcome and readiness achieved. — How can we properly manage the birth rate? — What doctors say. — Risky, unsatisfactory, and destructive methods used. — The Scriptural guideline. — Pros and cons of "Prepared Parenthood." — Mental state during conception. — Mental and physical condition of the mother during pregnancy. — Signs of fruitful conception, 162

CHAPTER XIII.

CHAPTER 13.

THE EXPECTANT MOTHER.

THE MOM-TO-BE.

During maternity the wife should have special consideration.—Lack of intelligence often inspires fear and dread.—Discouraging and depressing remarks of some women to expectant young mothers.—How to overcome her gloomy forebodings.—The changed demeanor of some[Pg xiv] women after conception.—The husband's duty in such cases.—The wife should become intelligent before conception takes place.—The husband should secure intelligence by reading the best books.—Valuable suggestions on diet, rest and exercise from "Trained Motherhood."—Mistakes often made after confinement.—The marital relation during pregnancy.—The example of birds and animals.—The custom in heathen countries.—Medical authorities quoted.—Importance of an undisturbed maternity, 197

During pregnancy, the wife should be given special care. A lack of understanding often brings on fear and anxiety. Some women make discouraging and depressing comments to new mothers-to-be. Here’s how to help her get past her worries. The changed behavior of some women after conception is noteworthy. The husband has responsibilities in these situations. The wife should become informed before getting pregnant. The husband should also seek knowledge by reading quality books. There are valuable tips on diet, rest, and exercise from "Trained Motherhood." Common mistakes are often made after childbirth. The marital relationship during pregnancy is important. The behavior of birds and animals serves as a good example. Some customs in non-Western cultures stand out. Medical experts provide insightful perspectives. It's essential to ensure a peaceful pregnancy, 197

CHAPTER XIV.

CHAPTER 14.

THE CHANGES WHICH PRECEDE, ATTEND AND FOLLOW CHILDBIRTH.

THE CHANGES THAT OCCUR BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER CHILDBIRTH.

Wonderful adaptation of body of the mother to reproduction.—How wonderful a watch which could oil, repair and produce other watches, and keep accurate time.—Wonders of reproduction seen in the flower.—Death defeated and extinction prevented by reproduction.—The agony of splendor which attends the period of fertilization of the flowers.—After fertilization the flower fades.—Similar changes in human life.—Illustrated in the birds.—The changes in appearance and demeanor more marked in the female.—The greater changes within the mother's body.—How conception takes place.—Why two parents instead of one.—The womb seems almost instinct with intelligence.—No spermatozoön or ovum retained unless the two have united.—The changes which take place in the ovum.—Its reception and royal cradle in the womb.—The cradle enlarged with the growth of its occupant.—In the minute egg are ingrained the characteristics of the man or woman that is to be.—How the germ is at first nourished.—The formation of the placenta and its office, 216

Wonderful adaptation of the mother's body for reproduction. — How amazing would it be if a watch could oil itself, repair itself, create other watches, and keep perfect time? — The wonders of reproduction are evident in flowers. — Death is overcome and extinction is avoided through reproduction. — The intense beauty that comes with the fertilization period of flowers. — After fertilization, the flower wilts. — Similar changes occur in human life. — Illustrated in birds. — The changes in appearance and behavior are more noticeable in females. — The greater changes happen inside the mother's body. — How conception occurs. — Why do we need two parents instead of one? — The womb seems almost to have its own intelligence. — No sperm or egg is kept unless they have united. — The changes that happen in the egg. — Its reception and royal cradle in the womb. — The cradle expands as its occupant grows. — Within the tiny egg are embedded the traits of the future man or woman. — How the germ is initially nourished. — The formation of the placenta and its role, 216

[Pg xv]CHAPTER XV.

[Pg xv]CHAPTER 15.

THE CHANGES WHICH PRECEDE, ATTEND AND FOLLOW CHILDBIRTH.

THE CHANGES THAT OCCUR BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER CHILDBIRTH.

(Continued.)

(Continued.)

The formation of the sacs about the germ of life.—Spontaneous segmentation.—Formation of Blastodermic membrane.—The embryonic spot.—The different membranes which enclose the embryo.—The gathering of "the waters," or the amniotic fluid.—The office of the amniotic fluid.—The growth of the embryo described by Dr. Guernsey.—The rudimentary embryo at five weeks, at seven weeks, two months, and ten weeks.—At end of the fifth month the embryo known as the fetus.—Changes indicated at time of birth.—Man fearfully and wonderfully made.—Bodily changes of the mother as parturition approaches.—The descent of the womb.—Enlargement of vagina and external parts.—The coming away of "the plug," or "the show."—Premonitory pains.—Undue apprehensions of danger.—Wonderful changes that take place in the body of the mother at birth of child.—Changes in the body of the child after its birth, 233

The development of the sacs surrounding the germ of life.—Spontaneous segmentation.—Formation of the blastodermic membrane.—The embryonic spot.—The various membranes that surround the embryo.—The accumulation of "the waters," or amniotic fluid.—The role of the amniotic fluid.—The growth of the embryo as described by Dr. Guernsey.—The rudimentary embryo at five weeks, seven weeks, two months, and ten weeks.—At the end of the fifth month, the embryo is referred to as the fetus.—Changes observed at the time of birth.—Humans fearfully and wonderfully made.—Physical changes in the mother as childbirth approaches.—The descent of the womb.—Enlargement of the vagina and external parts.—The shedding of "the plug," or "the show."—Premonitory pains.—Excessive fears of danger.—Remarkable changes that occur in the mother’s body at the birth of the child.—Changes in the child’s body after birth, 233

CHAPTER XVI.

CHAPTER 16.

WHEN THE BABY IS BORN.

WHEN THE BABY ARRIVES.

Birth at tenth menstrual period.—Labor-pains and after-pains.—Intelligent preparation removes anxiety and danger.—What the husband needs to know if no physician is present.—Severing of placentic cord.—The physician's instructions to be obeyed.—Should the husband remain with his wife?—The afterbirth.—The first need of the child.—The care of the mother.—Protection from visitors.—The selection of a nurse.—From six weeks to three months to secure normal condition of reproduc[Pg xvi]tive organs.—Marital relation after confinement and miscarriage.—Instances of cruel exactions.—Nature of first nourishment of child.—Dangers of wet-nurses and vicious nurse-girls.—The pleasures of fatherhood.—The father's duty to his children, 251

Birth at the tenth menstrual period.—Labor pains and afterpains.—Being well-prepared reduces anxiety and risk.—What the husband should know if no doctor is available.—Cutting the umbilical cord.—The doctor's instructions should be followed.—Should the husband stay with his wife?—The afterbirth.—The child's immediate needs.—Taking care of the mother.—Keeping visitors away.—Choosing a nurse.—From six weeks to three months to ensure normal reproductive health.—Intimacy after childbirth and miscarriage.—Examples of harsh demands.—Nature of the child's first food.—Risks of wet nurses and unsuitable caregivers.—The joys of being a father.—The father's responsibilities to his children, 251

PART III.

PART 3.

CONCERNING HIS CHILDREN.

ABOUT HIS KIDS.

CHAPTER XVII.

CHAPTER 17.

HEREDITY.

GENETICS.

Only early knowledge can be of any benefit to offspring.—Our previous treatment of heredity.—The three periods of greatest molding power.—Relation of correct model to finished statue.—Education of child begins "twenty years before it is born."—Heredity in horses.—Effect of mental state of mother upon the forming unborn offspring.—Emotions effect chemical changes in the breath.—Physical and mental state effect exhalations of body.—Odors of insane asylums, penitentiaries, etc.—Achievements in development of domestic animals, birds, fruit trees, flowers, etc.—These laws in human heredity.—Modifying interferences.—"Degenerate sons of noble sires."—Causes not difficult to find.—Essentials of good soil, good seed and good care, 265

Only early knowledge can benefit offspring. — Our earlier discussion on heredity. — The three most important periods of influence. — The relationship between a correct model and the final statue. — A child's education begins "twenty years before it is born." — Heredity in horses. — The impact of the mother's mental state on the developing unborn child. — Emotions create chemical changes in breath. — Physical and mental states influence body exhalations. — The odors of insane asylums, prisons, etc. — Progress in the development of domestic animals, birds, fruit trees, flowers, etc. — These principles apply to human heredity. — Modifying influences. — "Degenerate sons of noble sires." — The causes are not hard to identify. — The fundamentals of good soil, good seed, and good care, 265

CHAPTER XVIII.

CHAPTER 18.

PRENATAL INFLUENCES.

Prenatal Influences.

Prenatal influences illustrated.—Robert Burns, Napoleon.—A kleptomaniac.—How some murderers were made.—Guiteau.—The mother of an artist.—The twins that liked books.—Various instances named.—Child-marking.[Pg xvii]—A child with two thumbs.—Born with but one hand.—Corrective theory of C. J. Bayer.—Corrective longings.—"Longings."—Their treatment.—Their effects.—Instances given.—The mother's molding power in producing characteristics desired in her children.—Potency of this influence.—Forming versus reforming.—A word of comfort to parents of children that are marked at birth.—Diverse theories concerning the determining of sex, 276

Prenatal influences illustrated.—Robert Burns, Napoleon.—A compulsive thief.—How some murderers were created.—Guiteau.—The mother of an artist.—The twins who loved books.—Various examples mentioned.—Child-marking.[Pg xvii]—A child with two thumbs.—Born with only one hand.—Corrective theory of C. J. Bayer.—Corrective longings.—"Longings."—Their treatment.—Their effects.—Examples provided.—The mother's ability to shape desired traits in her children.—The power of this influence.—Forming versus reforming.—A word of comfort for parents of children who are marked at birth.—Different theories about how sex is determined, 276

CHAPTER XIX.

CHAPTER 19.

CHILDHOOD.

CHILDHOOD.

The opportunities for forming and reforming during infancy.—Books and periodicals on nurture and training of children.—Importance of first two years.—Evils of promiscuous kissing.—Potency of nursery influences.—Protecting the child from vices of servants.—Danger from secret vice.—Honest answers to honest inquiries.—Forestall degrading information from vicious companions.—The parents' duty at puberty of child.—Education of children.—Their physical culture.—Moral training.—The parting word, 290

The opportunities for shaping and reshaping during infancy.—Books and magazines on the care and training of children.—The significance of the first two years.—The issues with casual kissing.—The power of influences from the nursery.—Protecting the child from the vices of caregivers.—The danger of secret habits.—Honest answers to honest questions.—Prevent degrading information from harmful peers.—The parents' responsibility at the child's puberty.—Raising children.—Their physical development.—Moral education.—The final word, 290


PREFACE.


In approaching the work which we have undertaken in these pages, we have not been blind to the difficulties which confront us in entering upon so delicate a subject. If we had thought only of these, we would never have taken up our pen in this work. We have been moved to it by the cries of disappointment and anguish which may be heard everywhere throughout our land, and by the pleadings that come up out of the dense ignorance which envelops palace and hovel alike. Knowing the importance of these "matters which are so central in our physical life, so essential in their relation to the condition, character, career and destiny of every individual, and so fundamental and vital to every institution and interest of society;" knowing also the importance of proper intelligence concerning the laws which govern our bodies, and knowing how the honest and the pure who seek information concerning these most sacred relations of human life are exposed, amid the dearth of pure and reliable books, to contamination by books whose secret character designedly fosters the very lusts and evils which they are professedly written to denounce, we have felt that we would be recreant to duty, to humanity and to God if we allowed difficulties[Pg xx] to bar us from this important work. Turn where you will, the manifest consequences of the prevalent ignorance upon these vital and important subjects stare one in the face, and the appealing need of the hosts of honest men and women who desire such information as will enable them to attain the noblest and the best which God has placed within their reach is a sufficient condemnation of that spurious "modesty" which desires that a ban shall continue upon intelligence, so that men and women may remain in a hopeless bondage to vice and its awful consequences.

In tackling the work we've set out to do in these pages, we haven't overlooked the challenges that come with discussing such a sensitive topic. If we had only focused on these challenges, we would never have started this project. We've been inspired by the voices of disappointment and pain that echo throughout our country, and by the urgent need for knowledge that arises from the deep ignorance surrounding both the rich and the poor. Understanding the significance of these "issues that are so central to our physical existence, so crucial for the condition, character, career, and destiny of every individual, and so fundamental and vital to every institution and interest in society;" also recognizing the importance of accurate information about the laws governing our bodies, and aware that those who seek honest and pure knowledge about these sacred aspects of human life often fall prey to misleading books that promote the very desires and evils they claim to oppose, we believe it would be a betrayal to our duty, to humanity, and to God if we let challenges stop us from this crucial work. Everywhere we look, the obvious effects of widespread ignorance on these vital issues confront us, and the pressing need of countless honest individuals who seek information that will help them achieve the best and most noble things God offers is a clear indictment of the false "modesty" that insists on keeping knowledge restricted, leaving men and women trapped in a cycle of vice and its terrible consequences.

Knowing the universal need for the information which we have sought to communicate in a plain and pure way in these pages, and while laboring with an ever-present sense of the difficulties and delicacies of the undertaking, we have turned to our task with greater assurance when we have remembered the appreciative messages of eminent men and women which have come from all quarters of the globe, the unreserved and hearty commendations which the earlier books of the series have received from the entire religious, secular, educational and medical press of the United States, England and Canada; we have been inspired by the fact that these books are already being translated into other languages; that without suggestion they have been publicly commended at the different international conventions of Christian workers in this country, and are also being used by Christian missionaries in many[Pg xxi] lands in their efforts to redeem and save the heathen.

Knowing the universal need for the information we aim to share in a straightforward and clear manner in these pages, and while working with a constant awareness of the challenges and sensitivities involved, we have approached our task with increased confidence when we recall the supportive messages from distinguished men and women that have come from all over the world, the enthusiastic and sincere praise that the earlier books in this series have received from the entire religious, secular, educational, and medical press in the United States, England, and Canada; we have been motivated by the knowledge that these books are already being translated into other languages; that without prompting they have been publicly praised at various international gatherings of Christian workers in this country, and are also being utilized by Christian missionaries in many[Pg xxi] countries in their efforts to bring hope and salvation to those in need.

To many, marriage is not that source of blessing and happiness which God intended. Its purposes and possibilities are never realized. Thousands are constantly entering upon marriage only to be miserable and wretched because they do not understand the nature and intent of their own endowments, or the purpose of God in ordaining the institution. Whatever information they ever obtain is secured by blind blunderings, and at the most ruinous cost. Even where no permanent physical consequences are entailed, mental and moral effects, which are even more ruinous in their results, remain to mar the blessings of later years. Had they been intelligent, they might have possessed from the very first the benefits and blessings which ignorance has placed and kept beyond their reach. Sad as such results are, they are still more grievous because of the consequences which must be suffered by their families, and which are handed down to innocent children who are to reap the results of parental ignorance long years after the parents themselves may have passed away. It is to save young men and young women from such disastrous and far-reaching results, and to afford them the blessing and happiness which God intended, that we have set ourselves to the task undertaken in these pages.

To many, marriage isn't the blessing and happiness that God intended. Its purposes and potential are often never fulfilled. Thousands keep entering into marriage only to end up unhappy and miserable because they don’t understand their own qualities or the purpose behind the institution of marriage. Any knowledge they gain comes from misguided attempts and often at a terrible cost. Even when there aren't lasting physical consequences, the mental and emotional impacts, which can be even more damaging, linger on to spoil the joys of later life. If they had been more informed, they could have enjoyed the benefits and blessings that ignorance has kept out of reach from the start. While these outcomes are unfortunate, they are even more tragic because of the effects on their families, which pass down to innocent children who will suffer the consequences of their parents’ ignorance long after the parents are gone. We are dedicated to helping young men and women avoid these disastrous and far-reaching outcomes and to provide them with the blessings and happiness that God intended, which is the purpose of this work.

To secure the largest assistance from these pages, it is necessary to know that this book is[Pg xxii] supplemental and stands related to the two which have preceded in the nature of an educational series. To comprehend the entire subject of the reproductive organs, their purpose, function and preservation, it would be well also to know the contents of the books which follow this present volume in the same series.

To get the most help from these pages, it's important to know that this book is[Pg xxii] a supplement and connects with the two that came before it in an educational series. To fully understand the topic of the reproductive organs, their purpose, function, and preservation, it would also be beneficial to understand the content of the books that follow this one in the same series.

Gratefully acknowledging the valuable aid and assistance from many sources, trustfully seeking the continued co-operation of the good and pure everywhere, and relying upon the favor and blessing of Him whose guidance we have constantly sought, this volume is now sent forth on its important mission.

Gratefully recognizing the valuable help and support from many sources, we confidently seek the ongoing cooperation of good and kind people everywhere, and we rely on the favor and blessings of Him whose guidance we have consistently sought. This volume is now being released on its important mission.

Sylvanus Stall.

Sylvanus Stall.

Philadelphia, Pa.,
         July 20, 1899.

Philadelphia, PA, July 20, 1899.


[Pg xxiii]Section I

CONCERNING HIMSELF

ABOUT HIMSELF


WHAT A YOUNG HUSBAND OUGHT TO KNOW.


CHAPTER I.

THE RELATION OF MARRIAGE.

The young man who marries finds himself in an entirely new relation in life. Grand as life may have been in the past, the present and the future are full of new meaning, of grander possibilities and of larger blessing. God has meant that love should come to man to glorify life and to lift the lower nature of husband and wife into higher realms of thought and being; to transform, deepen, broaden and soften. In them love becomes the potent source of mightiest inspirations. The husband's duty seemed formerly to be to care, to arrange and to provide only for himself. Now he has assumed additional responsibilities. He is no longer to live for himself, but for his wife, his children, and in a larger sense for his descendants—for the good of the race. He is to continue by transmitting himself, that life may remain when he is gone. What he does involves the interests of his wife, and of those who are to come after him. Love is to conquer selfishness. He is to rise[Pg 26] above himself, and the present good and future happiness of others are to constitute his well-being.

The young man who gets married finds himself in a completely new situation in life. No matter how grand life may have been before, the present and the future are filled with new meaning, greater possibilities, and bigger blessings. God intended love to come into a man's life to enhance it and elevate the lower nature of both husband and wife to higher levels of thought and existence; to transform, deepen, broaden, and soften. In them, love becomes the powerful source of the strongest inspirations. The husband's role used to be to care, manage, and provide solely for himself. Now, he has taken on additional responsibilities. He is no longer just living for himself, but for his wife, his children, and, in a broader sense, for his descendants—for the benefit of humanity. He is meant to carry on his legacy, ensuring that life continues after he is gone. His actions affect the interests of his wife and those who will follow him. Love is meant to overcome selfishness. He is to rise[Pg 26] above his own desires, and the current well-being and future happiness of others are to define his own happiness.

His present and future happiness will be dependent upon a clear apprehension of the fact that what he is will determine what his descendants are to be after him. He should comprehend the fullest meaning of what is taught in the statement that "we are part of all the people whom we have met," the result of past influences and previous life. What we have been and are, that we transmit. The responsibilities, are grave, but the state of two congenial souls made one in happy marriage is the grandest and most blessed earthly condition conferred upon man by God himself. It meets the requirements of our being, and, when properly understood and faithfully conformed to, brings the largest happiness that mortals are capable of upon earth. Husband and wife, parents and child, home and country, form the centre of all that makes life dear.

His current and future happiness will depend on clearly understanding that who he is will shape who his descendants will be. He should grasp the full meaning of the saying that "we are part of all the people we've met," influenced by past experiences and previous lives. What we have been and what we are, we pass on. The responsibilities are serious, but the bond between two compatible souls in a happy marriage is the greatest and most blessed earthly state given to humanity by God. It fulfills our needs, and when truly understood and faithfully embraced, it brings the greatest happiness that people can experience on earth. Husband and wife, parents and child, home and country form the core of all that makes life precious.

The purest, noblest and most unselfish aspirations and purposes derive their strength and being from the sweet influences which have their beginning and their continuance in this power which draws men and women together in happy and holy wedlock. By these sweet influences the most perfect natures are moulded and ennobled. By them are formed the strongest ties that hold humanity to the accomplishment of every high and holy endeavor. Where the mind has continued pure, and the character un[Pg 27]tarnished, and the life unsullied by the touch of social evil, the sexual impulse does not die in that cradle of our being where God has given it birth but marches like a mighty conqueror, arousing and marshalling the mightiest human forces in every department of man's nature. It formulates his purpose, quickens his imagination, and calls into exercise his united powers in the attainment of the world's greatest and grandest achievements in art, in letters, in inventions, in philosophy, in philanthropy, and in every effort that is to secure the universal blessing of mankind.

The purest, noblest, and most selfless dreams and goals get their strength and existence from the positive influences that start and continue with the power that brings people together in joyful and sacred marriage. These positive influences shape and elevate the most perfect individuals. They create the strongest bonds that connect humanity to achieving every great and noble endeavor. When the mind remains pure, the character unstained, and life untouched by social evil, the sexual drive doesn’t fade in the cradle of our being where God has instilled it, but rather moves forward like a powerful conqueror, awakening and organizing the strongest human forces in every aspect of human nature. It shapes our purpose, energizes our imagination, and prompts us to use our combined strengths to achieve the world's greatest accomplishments in art, literature, inventions, philosophy, philanthropy, and every effort aimed at securing the universal goodwill of humanity.

It is under the awakening of the reproductive life that the fields put on their verdure, the flowers unfold their beauty and fragrance, the birds put on their brightest plumage and sing their sweetest song, while the chirp of the cricket, the note of the katydid, is but the call to its mate—for the many-tongued voices which break the stillness of field and forest are but the myriad notes of love. To this universal, God-given passion, man owes his love of color, his love of beauty and sweetness in art and music, his love of rhythm in poetry, of grace in form, in painting, in sculpture; and from it not only springs the love of the beautiful, but even the perception and recognition of all that which is pleasing and lovely.

It is with the awakening of life that the fields become lush, the flowers reveal their beauty and fragrance, the birds display their brightest feathers and sing their most enchanting songs, while the chirping of crickets and the notes of katydids are simply calls to their partners—for the many voices that break the silence of the fields and forests are merely the countless notes of love. To this universal, God-given passion, humanity owes its appreciation for color, its admiration for beauty and sweetness in art and music, its love for rhythm in poetry, and its appreciation for grace in form, painting, and sculpture; and from it not only arises the love of the beautiful but also the ability to perceive and recognize all that is pleasing and lovely.

This is the emotion that strengthens every faculty, quickens every power, animates, modifies, ennobles, purifies and sweetens the entire being, and makes our life upon earth, when di[Pg 28]rected by godly purposes, the unfolding and enriching of those nobler powers of the soul which are to find their fullest fruition and perfection in heaven itself.

This is the feeling that enhances every ability, energizes every power, inspires, transforms, elevates, cleanses, and sweetens our whole being, making our life on earth, when guided by divine intentions, a development and enrichment of those greater strengths of the soul that will reach their ultimate fulfillment and perfection in heaven itself.

While these powers may all be kept in abeyance until financial, social, religious and other requirements can be adequately met, yet there is a proper time for their full expression and purposed exercise. While God has meant that reason should rule over passion, and that every sexual impulse should yield to other requirements and activities, yet He has wisely purposed that these leadings of our nature should be pronounced and strong. If these sentiments and emotions were not strong—very strong indeed—no man, knowing the risks and dangers which are liable to arise because of incompatibility of temper, mistaken estimates of physical, intellectual and moral qualifications, would take upon himself the responsibilities, incur the risks, augment his expenses, and assume the far-reaching obligations which are involved when two are united, "for better or for worse," in indissoluble bonds for life.

While these powers can be set aside until financial, social, religious, and other needs are sufficiently addressed, there is indeed an appropriate time for their full expression and intended use. Although God intended for reason to govern passion and for every sexual impulse to give way to other needs and activities, He has wisely ensured that these natural urges are pronounced and strong. If these feelings and emotions weren't intense—very intense, in fact—no one, knowing the potential risks and dangers that come from personality clashes, misjudged assessments of physical, intellectual, and moral traits, would take on the responsibilities, face the risks, increase their expenses, and commit to the long-lasting obligations that arise when two people unite, "for better or for worse," in unbreakable bonds for life.

Were not the sentiment and emotions strong in woman, as well as in man, what woman would assume the responsibilities of wife and mother? Whatever man is required to give up, to endure, to suffer, to risk, even more seems to fall to the lot of woman. Were it not for strong sentiment and moving emotion, what woman would commit her entire future to the keeping of any man? Where is one who would assume[Pg 29] the pains and perils of maternity, with the subsequent possibility of being left by the death of her husband with a family of dependent children?

If women didn’t have strong feelings and emotions like men do, which woman would take on the responsibilities of being a wife and mother? Whatever sacrifices, hardships, suffering, or risks a man faces, it seems that even more falls on women. If it weren’t for deep emotions and strong sentiments, which woman would choose to invest her entire future in the care of any man? Who would be willing to face[Pg 29] the challenges and dangers of motherhood, knowing they might end up alone if her husband died, leaving her with a family of dependent children?

If the young husband desires in marriage the joys and blessings with which God has crowned this relation, he need not seek the immolation of his sexual nature, but he does need to subordinate his sexual passion to the reign of reason and the government of the moral sense. He cannot afford to ignore the rights, the comfort and the wishes of his wife. If he looks upon marriage as an easy means of securing self-indulgence, as affording a safe and lawful means for unbridled gratification, he is doomed to disappointment and to misery. If passion is to be enthroned where God ordained that none but love should reign, then anarchy with all its attendant horrors must, and surely will, desolate the heart, the home and the life; for lust can filch but cannot enjoy the pleasures and blessings of this heaven-ordained relation, which are reserved only for the pure, who live under the domain and rule of love and reason.

If a young husband wants to experience the joys and blessings that God has given to marriage, he doesn’t have to completely give up his sexual desires, but he does need to put his sexual passion in check with reason and moral standards. He can’t ignore his wife's rights, comfort, and wishes. If he thinks of marriage as just a convenient way to fulfill his own desires, believing it allows for unrestrained pleasure, he’s setting himself up for disappointment and unhappiness. If passion is placed above love, which is what God intended, it will bring chaos and all its accompanying horrors to his heart, home, and life; because lust can take but cannot truly enjoy the pleasures and blessings of this divinely ordained relationship, which are meant only for those who are pure and live under the guidance of love and reason.

To comprehend love in its intended relation to sexual impulse, and at the same time to understand something of it in its diviner aspects; to know love in its beauty, greatness and power; to free it from ideas of grossness and evil, and yet to retain in healthful balance and poise that portion of our nature which God has assigned so prominent and so important a place in man's estate of present happiness and the future pros[Pg 30]perity and blessing of the race, is the instant duty of all intelligent men and women, both young and old. Conscientiously to relate these emotions of our nature to the highest well-being of the individual and the race, and to redeem the purest and most sacred relation of life from the realm of degradation and shame, to disarm and depose that sensual usurper which has been enthroned and worshiped in the name of love, and "set love herself upon the throne, fair, luminous and pure," to gladden, to bless, and to save, shall be both our effort and our justification.

To understand love in its true connection to sexual desire, while also recognizing its higher aspects; to appreciate love in its beauty, greatness, and power; to free it from notions of vulgarity and evil, yet keep a healthy balance of that part of our nature which God has given a significant and important role in our current happiness and the future prosperity and well-being of humanity, is the immediate responsibility of all thoughtful men and women, both young and old. It's essential to relate these emotions to the overall well-being of the individual and the community, and to elevate the purest and most sacred relationships in life from the depths of degradation and shame, to challenge and dethrone the sensual usurper that has been idolized in the name of love, and "set love herself upon the throne, beautiful, radiant, and pure," to bring joy, blessings, and salvation. This will be both our mission and our reason for being.


CHAPTER II.

DIFFERENCES OF SEX.

It is both difficult and unnecessary to determine which is the superior of the two sexes. When the subject is regarded in its true light there is no superiority upon the part of either, and at the same time each is superior to the other in the sphere in which God designed them to move. The truth was perhaps aptly represented by President Lincoln when presented at the same time with two hats by rival hatters. Both hats were about as perfect as it was possible for human skill to make them. He desired to recognize this perfection in both, and yet to avoid discrimination in favor of either, and in that matchless sufficiency which qualified him for the demands of almost any situation, Mr. Lincoln, in accepting the hats, said: "Gentlemen, your hats mutually excel each other." The same is true of men and women; they mutually excel each other. In man's place, he is superior; and in woman's place, she is superior. The wisdom with which God has adapted each for the important place which they are to occupy in life is well worth our thought and study, and a clear apprehension of the subject will help to remove many of the misunder[Pg 32]standings, estrangements and conflicts which so frequently arise in married life.

It is both hard and unnecessary to decide which sex is better. When you look at the issue clearly, neither is superior to the other, and at the same time, each is superior in the area where God intended them to thrive. President Lincoln illustrated this well when he was given two hats by competing hat makers. Both hats were as perfect as human skill could achieve. He wanted to acknowledge this perfection in each without showing favoritism. With the remarkable ability that suited him for almost any situation, Mr. Lincoln accepted the hats and said, "Gentlemen, your hats mutually excel each other." The same applies to men and women; they each excel in their own ways. In men's roles, they are superior; in women's roles, they are superior. The wisdom with which God has prepared each for their vital role in life is worth our contemplation and study, and a clear understanding of this topic can help eliminate many misunderstandings, separations, and conflicts that often arise in marriage.

That neither is superior to the other, but that they are two parts of one complete whole, segments of the same circle, and that their union is absolutely essential to unity and entirety, will be best understood as we study what these differences are. In some respects man is inferior to woman, while in other respects woman is inferior to man. In a happy marriage these differences become complemental, rendering possible that superior unity in which the two are made one. Let us note what some of these differences are.

That neither is better than the other, but that they are two parts of a complete whole, segments of the same circle, and that their connection is crucial for unity and completeness, will be best understood as we explore what these differences are. In some ways, a man is less capable than a woman, while in other ways, a woman is less capable than a man. In a happy marriage, these differences complement each other, allowing for the higher unity in which the two become one. Let’s look at what some of these differences are.

In stature, woman is shorter than man. In the United States the average height of men is about five feet eight inches, and the weight about one hundred and forty-five pounds. The average woman is about five feet three inches in height, and about one hundred and twenty-five pounds in weight. The normally-developed man has broad shoulders and narrow hips, while woman has narrow shoulders and broad hips. Her shoulders set further back, giving her breast greater depth. In effecting this change her collar-bone is shorter, and this is one reason why she cannot throw a stone or ball with as much accuracy as man. In man the muscles are well defined, and indicate great strength, while in woman, even when the muscles are well developed, the outlines are more hidden by fatty and cellular tissues, which fill[Pg 33] all the hollows and round off all angles, giving her peculiar grace and beauty. He has greater muscular force, but she has more power of endurance. The bony structure of woman is smaller, and more delicately formed. The angles of the bones are less projecting, and the joints better concealed. The skull is smaller, and the bones of the cranium thinner. The sternum, or breastbone, is shorter and flatter, and the clavicles, or collar-bones, more crooked and shorter. His voice is deeper and more guttural; hers softer and more musical. Her neck is longer, her skin softer, her hair less generally diffused but more luxuriant in growth than in man.

In terms of height, women are generally shorter than men. In the United States, the average height for men is about five feet eight inches, with an average weight of around one hundred forty-five pounds. The average woman stands about five feet three inches tall and weighs about one hundred twenty-five pounds. Typically, men have broad shoulders and narrow hips, while women have narrow shoulders and wider hips. Women's shoulders are positioned farther back, which gives their breasts greater depth. This anatomical difference is due in part to shorter collarbones, which is one reason why women may not throw stones or balls with the same accuracy as men. Men's muscles are well-defined and indicate significant strength, while women, even with well-developed muscles, have outlines that are more obscured by fatty and cellular tissues that fill in curves and soften angles, contributing to their unique grace and beauty. Men have greater muscular strength, but women often have superior endurance. Women's skeletal structures are smaller and more delicately shaped. Their bones have less pronounced angles, and their joints are more concealed. Women have smaller skulls with thinner cranium bones. The sternum (breastbone) is shorter and flatter, while the collarbones are more curved and shorter. Men's voices are deeper and more guttural, whereas women's voices are softer and more melodic. Women typically have longer necks, softer skin, and less widespread but lusher hair compared to men.

The most noticeable feature in the study of the differences of the bony structure of the two sexes is observable in the pelvis—a word derived from the Greek, signifying dish or bowl. In man this structure is simply to subserve the purposes of strength and motion. In woman this bony basin, which forms the lower part of the body, has an additional purpose of special importance. At her side the hip-bones form the highest points, and from these the pelvis slopes down until in front it forms a comparatively narrow rim called the pubic arch. This change of form in woman is designed to adapt her body to become the first cradle of her children, and in the fullness of time to permit the easy transit of a new being into the outer world. In preparing woman for maternity, God has thus equipped her with such physical adaptation as[Pg 34] is suited to the carrying of her temporary burden, while at the same time affording protection for the hidden life within, thus fitting the physical frame of woman to the mother-nature with which He has endowed her.

The most noticeable feature in studying the differences in bone structure between the sexes is found in the pelvis—a term derived from Greek, meaning dish or bowl. In men, this structure primarily serves to support strength and movement. In women, this bony basin, which forms the lower part of the body, has an additional crucial purpose. The hip bones are the highest points on her sides, and from there, the pelvis slopes down to form a relatively narrow rim in front, called the pubic arch. This change in shape in women is designed to adapt their bodies to be the first cradle for their children, and eventually facilitate the smooth passage of a new life into the world. In preparing women for motherhood, God has equipped them with physical adaptations that are suited for carrying their temporary burdens while also providing protection for the developing life within, thus aligning the physical structure of women with the nurturing nature He has bestowed upon them.[Pg 34]

While woman is thus furnished with physical requisites suited to the easiest accomplishment of the divine purpose—while the form of her body, the articulation of her bones and the size of her muscles all indicate her sense of dependence upon man—God has, with like wisdom, adapted man in all of his physical endowments to become the shield and defender of woman. He is to be her protection and her defense. His fiercer visage, his broader shoulders, his more muscular frame, all speak clearly of the divine purpose.

While women are equipped with physical attributes that make it easier for them to fulfill their divine role—while the shape of their bodies, the structure of their bones, and the size of their muscles all suggest their reliance on men—God has, with similar wisdom, designed men with physical traits that allow them to protect and defend women. He is meant to be their protector and their defender. His stronger appearance, broader shoulders, and more muscular build clearly convey the divine intention.

Intellectually, as well as physically, men and women are best suited for their respective duties and responsibilities in life. In arriving at a conclusion, man is much more deliberate and logical, proceeding step by step after an orderly method; while woman reaches the conclusion in much less time by means of her intuition. While woman is by no means incapable of logical deductions, yet generally she does not stop to reason it out, but takes refuge in the statement that she "knows that it is so;" that she is "sure that she is right." It is easy to see that intellectually, as well as physically, men and women are complemental, and when the conclusions arrived at are identical they become confirmatory of each other. While men would[Pg 35] be likely to prefer the conclusions which are reached by their own method, yet women in the exercise of the same freedom are likely to prefer the intuitions of their own sex. For either to decide in favor of the intellectual superiority of their own sex would be somewhat like the case of two men engaged in a lawsuit, where one takes it upon himself to become umpire and decide in favor of himself and against his opponent.

Intellectually and physically, men and women are best suited for their own roles and responsibilities in life. When reaching a conclusion, men tend to be more deliberate and logical, moving step by step through an orderly process, while women often come to conclusions much faster through intuition. Although women are definitely capable of logical reasoning, they generally don’t take the time to work it out and instead rely on the feeling that they "know it’s true" or that they are "sure they are right." It’s clear that, both intellectually and physically, men and women complement each other, and when they arrive at the same conclusions, they reinforce each other’s viewpoints. Even though men might prefer the conclusions they reach through their own methods, women, exercising the same freedom, are likely to favor the insights of their own gender. For either side to claim intellectual superiority over the other would be like two men in a lawsuit where one decides to act as the judge and rules in favor of himself instead of his opponent.

The nervous system of woman is more refined and more delicate than that in man. This greater nervous sensibility renders her more susceptible to impressions, enables her to dwell constantly in the realm of more refined susceptibilities, rendering distasteful to her all things that are coarse and low, and at the same time endowing her with a greater capacity both for pleasure and for pain. Man's sources of pleasure are not always hers, but in love of her home and its adornment, in love of her children and their well-being, of literature, art, music and religion, she usually surpasses man, save in exceptional cases.

The nervous system of a woman is more refined and delicate than that of a man. This heightened sensitivity makes her more responsive to experiences, keeps her focused on more subtle feelings, and makes her averse to things that are coarse and low. At the same time, it gives her a greater capacity for both pleasure and pain. While men's sources of pleasure aren’t always hers, she typically has a deeper love for her home and its decoration, for her children and their well-being, and for literature, art, music, and religion, often surpassing men, except in rare cases.

To enable woman, with her finer nervous sensibilities, to meet the larger burden of pain and suffering which is laid upon her, God has adequately fitted her by bestowing a compensating power of endurance. If we desire to deny woman this greater sensitiveness and greater endurance we would need to ignore the patience and bravery with which they face and bear the pains and perils of maternity—pains and suffer[Pg 36]ings of which they assert that man cannot form the remotest idea.

To empower women, with their heightened sensitivity, to handle the greater load of pain and suffering placed on them, God has equipped them with a strong ability to endure. If we want to deny women this extra sensitivity and resilience, we would have to overlook the patience and courage with which they confront and endure the pains and challenges of motherhood—pains and struggles that they claim men can't even begin to understand.[Pg 36]

But there are also other differences less manifest to the superficial observer, but none the less real and important to those who would comprehend the wonderful wisdom of the Creator and intelligently prepare themselves to receive the good which is designed for and is possible to intelligent men and women.

But there are also other differences that are less obvious to a casual observer, but still very real and important to those who want to understand the amazing wisdom of the Creator and smartly get ready to accept the good that is intended for and possible for intelligent men and women.

There are inherent differences of character and modifications of temperament which can be best understood by studying the very earliest manifestations of human life when we examine the sperm of the male and the ovum of the female as seen under the microscope. These characteristics are not imaginary, but inherent, and are manifestly designed and intended by the all-wise Creator. And it is only when we study these characteristics in their entirety, with a desire to understand the divine purpose, that we can measurably comprehend how these individual differences in each contribute to the blessing and the well-being of both.

There are fundamental differences in character and variations in temperament that can be best understood by looking at the earliest signs of human life when we examine the male sperm and female egg under a microscope. These traits are not made up; they are inherent and clearly designed by the all-wise Creator. It's only when we study these traits in their entirety, wanting to understand the divine purpose, that we can begin to grasp how these individual differences benefit and enhance the well-being of both.

The part contributed by the mother in the reproductive act toward the life of the future child is called an ovum, which means an egg; for all forms of life, both vegetable and animal, begin with a seed or egg, which are two names for the same thing. In the lower forms of life these eggs are usually produced on the exterior of the plant, while in the higher forms of life, as, for instance, in the bird, the seed or egg is produced in the inside of the body, and after[Pg 37] being perfected is expelled, to be hatched in a nest, where the young, when they attain their proper size, break the shell and emerge into the outer world. In the highest forms of life the ovum reaches its maturity in a department of the mother's body which is called the ovary. In woman, at the end of a period of twenty-eight days, as a succeeding ovum ripens it passes into a tube which awaits its reception, and is moved onward into the womb, where it remains for a period, awaiting the reception of the male element called the spermatozoa. This is the plural, while a single one is called a spermatozoön. The ovum or egg of the mother is so small that two hundred and forty of them would need to be laid side by side in order to make a row one inch long. The spermatozoön, the principle of life contributed by the male, is so small that it is not visible to the eye except by the aid of a microscope, and, when seen, somewhat resembles a pollywog. These minute centres of life are alive, and move in a fluid which is secreted by the male organs of reproduction, and which is generally called semen. Now, if we study the characteristics of the ovum and of the spermatozoön we may be surprised when we discover some of the same differences which characterize men and women from infancy to old age.

The contribution made by the mother in reproduction towards the future child's life is called an ovum, which means an egg. All forms of life, both plant and animal, start with a seed or egg, which are essentially the same thing. In simpler life forms, these eggs are usually produced on the outside of the organism, while in more complex life forms, like birds, the egg is developed inside the body and, once fully formed, it is expelled to be hatched in a nest. The young ones, when they grow to the right size, break the shell and emerge into the outside world. In the most complex life forms, the ovum matures in a part of the mother's body known as the ovary. In women, after about twenty-eight days, as a new ovum ripens, it moves into a tube waiting to receive it and is then pushed into the womb, where it remains for some time, ready to receive the male element called spermatozoa. Spermatozoa is the plural term, while one is called a spermatozoön. The mother's ovum is so tiny that you would need two hundred and forty of them lined up to make a row one inch long. The spermatozoön, which carries the male's contribution to life, is so small that it can't be seen by the naked eye without a microscope and looks somewhat like a tadpole. These tiny life units are alive and move in a fluid secreted by the male reproductive organs, commonly known as semen. If we look closely at the characteristics of the ovum and the spermatozoön, we might be surprised to find some of the same differences that distinguish men and women from infancy to old age.

In passing through the tube which is to carry it into the womb from that portion of the body of the mother where it has attained its growth[Pg 38] and perfection, the ovum is passive—does not move by its own inherent life, but is carried forward to its designed place by the movement in the tube itself, the same as the food which is masticated in the mouth is passed on to the stomach, not by any action in the food itself, but by the movement of the esophagus, which passes it onward to its destined place in the stomach. In other words, the ovum is passive.

As the ovum travels through the tube that will take it into the womb from the part of the mother's body where it has developed and matured[Pg 38], it is passive—meaning it doesn’t move on its own but is pushed along by the movement of the tube itself, just like food that is chewed in the mouth is moved to the stomach, not by any action of the food itself, but by the movement of the esophagus, which pushes it to its intended location in the stomach. In other words, the ovum is passive.

When we come to the spermatozoa, or sperm, of the male, we find an entirely different manifestation. Just the same as you see the pollywog moving in the water, or tiny fish swimming about in the pool, so the spermatozoa move with activity and vigor in the semen, and when this has been transferred to the interior of the body of the mother in the manner in which God designed, it retains its activity, moving vigorously about in the upper portion of the vaginal cavity until it finds the entrance into the womb. Passing through and above the cervix, it continues to move about with great activity until it finds an ovum, which it seeks with avidity. When it reaches the womb, if there is no ovum present, it may remain there for a period of days awaiting its arrival, or may find its way into one of the Fallopian tubes which lead out to the ovary, and even go in quest of the object of its search as far as the ovary itself. These little creatures, one-fortieth of an inch in length, and requiring that hundreds of them should be laid side by side in order to extend one single inch, are so numerous that hundreds of them exist in[Pg 39] a single drop of semen, and yet a single one is all that is necessary in order to fertilize the ovum and render complete the beginning of a new life.

When we look at the sperm, or spermatozoa, of the male, we see a completely different dynamic. Just like you would see a tadpole swimming in the water or small fish darting around in the pool, sperm move energetically and vigorously in the semen. Once this is transferred into the mother’s body as designed by God, it stays active, swimming energetically in the upper part of the vaginal cavity until it finds its way into the womb. It passes through and above the cervix, continuing to move about energetically until it locates an egg, which it searches for eagerly. When it gets to the womb, if there isn’t an egg there, it might wait for several days for one to arrive or travel into one of the Fallopian tubes that lead to the ovary, even going as far as the ovary itself in search of its target. These tiny creatures, just one-fortieth of an inch long, require hundreds of them lined up side by side to make one inch, are so abundant that hundreds can exist in a single drop of semen, yet just one is enough to fertilize the egg and kick off the beginning of a new life.

While the ovum is passive, the sperm of the male is characterized by great activity and remarkable vitality. Dr. Napheys says: "The secretive fluid has been frozen and kept at a temperature of zero during four days, yet when it was thawed, these animalcules, as they are supposed to be, were as active as ever." In her interesting book, entitled "Life and Love," Margaret Warner Morley says: "Under the microscope these active forms have been seen eagerly moving around and around the egg until one, more fortunate than the rest, finds admission and dissolves into the substance of the egg—not to be finally lost, however, for, as we know, this inexplicable union results in the growth of a new creature like neither parent, and yet like both, each cell having given to the new life certain characteristics of the creature from which it was derived."

While the egg is passive, the male sperm is highly active and incredibly energetic. Dr. Napheys notes: "The secret fluid was frozen and kept at zero degrees for four days, yet when it was thawed, these tiny creatures, as they are believed to be, were just as active as ever." In her engaging book, titled "Life and Love," Margaret Warner Morley states: "Under the microscope, these active forms have been seen eagerly circling the egg until one, luckier than the others, manages to enter and merges with the egg's substance—not to be completely lost, because, as we know, this mysterious union leads to the development of a new organism that resembles neither parent, yet shares traits from both, with each cell contributing certain characteristics from the original creatures."

This greater activity of the sperm is seen also at the birth of the child; for physicians tell us that the pulse of a male child at birth beats two or three times a minute faster than that of a female child. The tissues of the male are also characterized by the same superior activity; and not only among men, but among all creatures. The tissues of the male have a greater tendency to change than those of the female. In the very fibre of her structure she is quiet, while he is more active.[Pg 40]

This increased activity of sperm is also noticeable at the time of a child's birth; doctors tell us that a male baby's heartbeat is two or three beats per minute faster than that of a female baby. The tissues in males also show this same higher level of activity, not just in men, but in all creatures. Male tissues have a stronger tendency to change compared to female tissues. Within the very fibers of their structure, females are more stable, while males are more dynamic.[Pg 40]

Characterized by this more marked vitality, more sturdy form and more muscular frame, we would naturally expect that the vitality of male children would be greater than that of female children. But this is not the case. It is claimed by some good authorities that about five per cent. more male than female children are born into the world, but at five years of age more girls are alive than boys.

Characterized by this increased vitality, stronger build, and more muscular frame, we would naturally expect that the vitality of male children would be greater than that of female children. But that's not the case. Some credible sources claim that about five percent more male than female children are born into the world, but by the age of five, more girls are alive than boys.

And what may seem increasingly strange, when we consider the greater perils to which the life of women is exposed in childbearing, the "expectation of life," as life-insurance companies designate it, is greater in woman than in man, and when the census of old persons is taken, the larger number of them are women.

And what might seem even stranger, when we think about the greater dangers that women's lives face during childbearing, is that the "life expectancy," as life insurance companies call it, is higher for women than for men. Additionally, when we look at the census of older individuals, there are more women than men.

The civil law recognizes this more passive nature of females and the more intense activity of males by regarding the man as the criminal in all actions for fornication or bastardy. While public sentiment ostracizes and is more severe and unrelenting with the woman, the law always inflicts its penalty upon the man.

The civil law acknowledges the more passive role of women and the more aggressive actions of men by treating the man as the offender in all cases of fornication or illegitimacy. While society tends to shun and is harsher toward women, the law consistently holds the man accountable.


CHAPTER III.

DIFFERENCES OF SEX.

Continued.

These differences in temperament indicate the infinite wisdom of the Creator, and to any thoughtful observer the many benefits must be manifest. Longfellow, in his "Hiawatha," says:

These differences in temperament show the infinite wisdom of the Creator, and to any thoughtful observer, the many benefits are clear. Longfellow, in his "Hiawatha," says:

"Just like the cord is to the bow,
So to the man belongs woman.
Even though she submits to him, she still follows his lead; Even though she attracts him, she still pursues: "Useless without each other."

Woman might be said to be, both in the family and in society, the centripetal force, insuring permanency, attracting and drawing to herself and within herself, thus preventing, in the family and in society, the tendency to fly from the centre and to produce chaos. Man is life's centrifugal force. The impetuosity and velocity of his nature tend to throw everything from the centre. His influence is to prevent gravitation from drawing everything to a given point, where all would become a state of rest. While woman keeps life stable, man keeps it from stagnation; but it requires the reciprocal influence of each to secure that harmony which God intended. Woman's stability unmodified by[Pg 42] man's influence would tend to result in complete rest, which would mean stagnation and death. Man's greater impetuosity would lead to instability, unrest, and possible chaos. As, in nature, the centrifugal and centripetal forces equalize and balance themselves, swaying the spheres in fixed orbits, so the influences of men and women upon each other, both in the family and in society, help to secure and maintain an even balance. While opposite in tendency, they are yet of equal necessity and of equal value. Each is essential to the perfection and completeness of the other, and perfect unity is only secured by the union of the two.

Woman can be seen as the central force in both family and society, providing stability and drawing people together, thus preventing chaos. Man, on the other hand, represents life's outward force. His impulsive and dynamic nature tends to push everything away from the center. His influence disrupts the natural attraction that brings everything to a single point, where everything would settle into stillness. While woman maintains stability in life, man prevents it from becoming stagnant; however, both need to influence each other to achieve the harmony that God intended. If woman's stability were not balanced by man's influence, it would lead to complete stillness, resulting in stagnation and death. Conversely, man's greater impulsiveness could cause instability, unrest, and potential chaos. Just as centrifugal and centripetal forces balance each other out in nature, allowing celestial bodies to maintain fixed orbits, the interactions between men and women in both family and society help to create and sustain a balance. Although they have opposing tendencies, both are equally necessary and valuable. Each is crucial for the perfection and wholeness of the other, and true unity is only achieved through their collaboration.

The reciprocal influences of men and women are oftentimes noticed in old couples who have passed thirty or forty years together in peace and harmony, each living year after year under the moulding power of the other, and each being moulded by the surroundings and influences which have wrought upon the other. Year after year they become more alike in form, feature and expression. Their views and opinions become increasingly harmonized, until there comes also to be a mental resemblance. That they have lived in the midst of the same surroundings and breathed the same air, have eaten the same kind of food, have shared each other's joys and pleasures, have laughed and wept together, have been under the formative influences of the same conditions, tend in a measure to this increasing likeness; but under the reciprocal influences each has lost a portion of this more pro[Pg 43]nounced personality and taken upon himself or herself the physical, intellectual and moral features of the other. Their union has constantly tended to unity.

The ways men and women influence each other are often seen in older couples who have spent thirty or forty years together in peace and harmony. Each year, they live under the shaping influence of one another and are shaped by the surroundings and experiences that have affected their partner. As time goes on, they become more similar in appearance, expression, and perspective. Their views and opinions align more closely until they also develop a mental resemblance. Living in the same environment, inhaling the same air, eating the same food, sharing each other’s joys and sorrows, and laughing and crying together, all contribute to this growing similarity. However, through their mutual influences, each person loses a bit of their distinct personality and adopts the physical, intellectual, and moral traits of the other. Their bond continuously fosters unity.

In religious matters there is also a noticeable difference between men and women. Generally, woman responds more readily to religious teachings and influences, and by nature she manifestly follows the Master's leadings more closely than her male companion; and there are good reasons evident why this should be so. With the uninterrupted duties of the household, which are oftentimes even multiplied on Sundays, it is necessary that a moral sense correspondingly more acute should prompt her to overcome the difficulties which beset her in her approach to the sanctuary, and God has given her that added moral force which is designed to enable her to overcome the increased resistance which she meets in the performance of her religious duties. There are times also when, in the discharge of her special duties as wife and mother, for weeks, and even for months, she is called upon to minister to others in sickness, or give herself to the care of infant children; and were it not for the larger endowment of her devotional nature, these repeated and prolonged but enforced absences from God's house would result in the formation of a fixed habit which would eventually wholly keep the majority of women from attendance upon all religious assemblies.

In religious matters, there’s a clear difference between men and women. Generally, women are more receptive to religious teachings and influences, and they tend to follow the guidance of the Master more closely than men do. There are good reasons for this. With the constant responsibilities of managing a household, which often increase even on Sundays, women need a sharper moral sense to overcome the challenges they face in getting to the sanctuary. God has equipped them with that extra moral strength to help them deal with the added difficulties in fulfilling their religious duties. There are also times when, due to their special roles as wives and mothers, they have to care for others who are sick or look after young children for weeks or even months at a time. If it weren't for their stronger capacity for devotion, these frequent and extended absences from God's house could create a habit that would ultimately keep most women from attending religious gatherings altogether.

But in view of the important fact that God[Pg 44] has more largely entrusted the moral and religious training of the children to the mother, we need to think but for a moment to understand what would be the result if her own nature was not endowed with sufficient strength to enable her to overcome every barrier, and to rise to the higher plane of duty and responsibility in this matter. The exceptional instances of mothers who are themselves deficient in their moral nature and neglectful of religious duties, and who, on that account, fail utterly in the moral and religious training of their children, are quite sufficient to illustrate what would be the condition in the home, in the Church, the community, and the State, if God had not endowed woman with a stronger moral nature and a keener sense of religious obligation than is found in man. It is by this more active moral sense in woman that the religious poise and balance of the family is maintained; and its benign results are often seen, not only in the children, but in the husband as well.

But considering the important fact that God[Pg 44] has largely entrusted the moral and religious upbringing of children to mothers, we only need to think for a moment to understand what would happen if a mother's nature wasn't strong enough to overcome obstacles and fulfill her duties and responsibilities in this area. The rare cases of mothers who lack moral integrity and disregard religious obligations, and therefore fail in raising their children morally and religiously, clearly illustrate what the home, church, community, and state would be like if God hadn’t given women a stronger moral nature and a deeper sense of religious duty than is typically found in men. It is this heightened moral awareness in women that maintains the religious balance and stability of the family, and its positive outcomes can often be seen not only in the children but in the husband as well.

The complemental differences in the intellectual and moral natures of men and women are as essential to the highest and best development of the entire nature of each as the complemental physical and sexual differences of each are indispensable to that union in which the two are made one in the child which is begotten of the father and born of the mother.

The differences in the intellectual and moral characteristics of men and women are just as important for the full development of each gender as the physical and sexual differences are necessary for the union that creates a child from both the father and the mother.

This reflexive and reciprocal influence of each sex upon the other to the mutual modification and advantage of both is clearly seen in the na[Pg 45]tion, as well as in the life of the family. This thought is beautifully presented by Margaret Warner Morley in her book entitled "Life and Love": "In the lower life, and in savages, the community in its characteristics approaches the masculine type; it is selfish, egoistic, unstable, variable. The herd of buffalo, for illustration, roams about in search of food and water, charging relentlessly and destroying whatever enemy comes in its way. The savage tribe often has no fixed abode, but roams about from place to place; where it has a home it is, as a rule, given to frequent war with its neighbors, and is liable to be uprooted by a stronger foe and absorbed, and thus lost, or it may be destroyed or compelled to move on. While this is true in the savage community as a whole, that is, considered as a nation, a unit; in its internal organization, on the other hand, it is essentially feminine in its characteristics; its habits are simple, stable, not liable to change. It makes no inventions, elaborates no complex machinery."

This mutual and interactive influence of each sex on the other, benefiting both, is clearly evident in society as well as in family life. Margaret Warner Morley beautifully expresses this idea in her book titled "Life and Love": "In primitive life and among savages, the community tends to take on masculine traits; it is selfish, self-centered, unstable, and changeable. For example, a herd of buffalo wanders in search of food and water, charging fiercely and destroying any enemy in its path. A savage tribe often lacks a permanent home and moves from place to place; where it does settle, it's typically involved in frequent conflicts with neighboring tribes, often getting uprooted by a stronger enemy and either absorbed or annihilated, or forced to relocate. While this is true of the savage community as a whole, viewed as a nation or unit, its internal structure is fundamentally feminine in nature; its behaviors are simple, stable, and resistant to change. It doesn't create inventions or develop complex machinery."

In civilized life, the opposite characteristics predominate. The community as a whole constantly takes upon itself the best characteristics of the feminine type. It becomes stable, less given to change. It does not seek war, but prefers peace, becomes more and more quiescent and altruistic.

In modern life, the opposite traits are more common. The community as a whole consistently adopts the best qualities of the feminine type. It becomes stable and less prone to change. It does not seek conflict but favors peace, becoming increasingly calm and selfless.

While these external changes are discernible, corresponding changes take place in the internal national life. The civilized nation tends to move away from the feminine toward the[Pg 46] masculine type. Inventions and innovations constantly change the order of things. National existence is established, but the existence of the individual calls for a more vigorous struggle. Competitions become fierce, and the struggle between labor and capital becomes more intense, and the exertion of personal energy merges into an effort to secure prestige and place, wealth and power; consequently the higher faculties generally obtain their larger development.

While these external changes are noticeable, similar changes are happening in the internal national life. The civilized nation tends to shift from the feminine to the masculine type. Innovations and inventions are constantly reshaping everything. National existence is established, but individual existence requires a tougher struggle. Competition gets intense, and the conflict between labor and capital becomes more pronounced. The push for personal achievement blends into striving for prestige, status, wealth, and power; as a result, higher skills typically develop more significantly.

In this approach toward the feminine type the community as a whole parts with some of its less desirable masculine expressions; it becomes modified, less angular. The desire for war departs, courage remains, and energy finds expression in new and nobler directions. But while these changes are taking place, the community does not discard all its masculine characteristics. It simply parts with the lower or least desirable of each, while the best elements of both are united in the new manifestation.

In this approach to femininity, the community as a whole lets go of some of its less desirable masculine traits; it becomes more rounded. The craving for war fades away, courage stays, and energy channels into new and better directions. However, while these changes happen, the community doesn’t get rid of all its masculine traits. It just sheds the lower or least desirable aspects, while the best qualities of both come together in this new expression.

To quote further from Miss Morley's interesting paragraphs: "Certain changes which mark the advanced community as a whole, necessarily, and in no less degree, mark the individuals composing it. The sexes are not sharply distinguished from each other in the intellectual and emotional realms. On the whole, men as a class probably show a preponderance of what may be termed masculine characteristics, as greater egoism, variability, activity; but these masculine characteristics have been modified, lessened, effeminized, so to speak. In the higher[Pg 47] type of man the best and highest feminine characteristics have been fused with the best and highest masculine characteristics. The fighting instinct, for instance, has become moral courage; the tendency to vary expresses itself in great intellectual development; instability and restlessness have become intellectual rather than physical qualities, leading to notable inventions and discoveries.

To quote further from Miss Morley's interesting paragraphs: "Certain changes that are seen in the advanced community as a whole also definitely impact the individuals within it. The differences between the sexes aren't clearly defined in the intellectual and emotional areas. Overall, men as a group likely display more of what we could call masculine traits, such as increased self-centeredness, variability, and activity; however, these masculine traits have been altered, diminished, effeminized, so to speak. In the higher[Pg 47] type of man, the best and highest feminine traits have blended with the best and highest masculine traits. For example, the fighting instinct has transformed into moral courage; the tendency to vary shows itself as significant intellectual growth; instability and restlessness have turned into intellectual instead of physical qualities, leading to remarkable inventions and discoveries."

"Brave and gentle, strong and tender, inventive and patient, the finest type of man owes his superiority to the transforming and illuminating power of his inheritance of womanly qualities.

"Brave and gentle, strong and tender, inventive and patient, the best kind of man owes his greatness to the transformative and enlightening influence of his inherited feminine qualities."

"In the higher type of woman the best and highest masculine characteristics have been fused with the best and highest development of the feminine characteristics. Altruism, for instance, has been rationalized and guarded by the exercise of greater reasoning power; stability, or inertia, has been lessened and prevented from forming an insurmountable barrier to progress. The tendency to vary has been strengthened; the more negative nature has progressed to a more positive condition. Courage, inventiveness and greater strength of intellectual perception have been fostered in civilized woman. Her submission to man gradually lessens before the upward progress of her mind. She places herself as his equal—as the other half, without which his half-life cannot be complete.

"In the higher type of woman, the best and most admirable masculine traits have been combined with the most developed feminine traits. Altruism, for example, has been made more logical and protected through better reasoning; stability or inertia has been reduced, preventing it from becoming a major obstacle to progress. The ability to adapt has been enhanced; the more passive nature has evolved into a more active state. Courage, creativity, and improved intellectual insight have all been encouraged in modern women. Her submission to men is gradually diminishing as her mind advances. She views herself as an equal—essentially the other half, without which his life cannot be whole."

"Nor does this borrowing of the characteristics of each by the other mean the merging of the two sexes into one,—the obliteration of sex[Pg 48] difference, and hence of sex attraction. It means the elevation of man by developing his masculine qualities in the direction of their highest possibilities, and by adding to manhood a new charm, a subtle grace, an irresistible beauty. It means the elevation of woman by the development of her womanly qualities in the direction of their highest possibilities, and by adding to womanhood a new power, a deeper, more far-reaching sympathy, an ineffable glow and a nobler beauty.

"However, this borrowing of traits between the sexes doesn't mean that they merge into one, erasing the differences between them, and thus eliminating sexual attraction. It signifies the upliftment of men by enhancing their masculine qualities to their fullest potential and adding new charm, subtle grace, and irresistible beauty. It also signifies the upliftment of women by nurturing their feminine qualities to their fullest potential and adding new strength, deeper, more expansive empathy, an indescribable glow, and a more noble beauty.[Pg 48]"

"The mind is a mighty solvent; through it the two sexes have been united in an intellectual union, from which has been born a new man with the dominant masculine characteristics developed in the noblest direction, and enriched by union with feminine characteristics, and a new woman with the feminine characteristics grandly developed and enhanced by what was once in the province of masculine knowledge and activity."

"The mind is a powerful force; through it, men and women have come together in an intellectual partnership, resulting in a new man with strong masculine traits that have been cultivated in the best way, and enriched by the combination with feminine qualities. There's also a new woman, whose feminine traits have been greatly developed and enhanced by what used to be associated with masculine knowledge and activities."

In harmony with what we have been considering in this chapter, it is eminently proper to discuss briefly the reciprocal sexual tempers and tendencies of married men and women. While the discussion of the various modifications of these differences does not belong to this chapter, yet the recognition of the fact itself and a noting of the beneficial, reactionary and reciprocal effects are pre-eminently in place just at this point.

In line with what we've been discussing in this chapter, it's important to briefly talk about the sexual attitudes and tendencies of married men and women. While discussing the various nuances of these differences doesn't fit within this chapter, acknowledging this reality and recognizing its positive, reactive, and reciprocal effects is definitely relevant at this point.

The active nature of the sperm of the male and the passivity which distinguishes the ovum[Pg 49] of the female characterize the two sexes from the beginning to the end of their existence. The greater activity of the sperm, the quickened pulse of the male child at birth, the more restless nature of the boy-baby, his running, climbing, active life throughout childhood and adolescence—these traits characterize not only his boyhood, his days of developing manhood, but his marital relations as well.

The active nature of male sperm and the passive role of the female ovum[Pg 49] define the two sexes from start to finish. The sperm's increased activity, the faster heartbeat of male infants at birth, the more energetic behavior of boys—running, climbing, and their lively existence throughout childhood and adolescence—these characteristics not only define their boyhood and growth into manhood but also shape their relationships in marriage.

With rare exceptions, both of person and of instances, in married life all the sexual aggressiveness is with the male. Wives seldom seek the closer embraces of their husbands. They are generally indifferent; often absolutely averse. With the husband, while in perfect health, the conditions are quite the opposite; and the wisdom of the Creator is manifest in the fact that were the wife equally quickened by the same amative tendencies, the male nature would be called into such frequent and continuous exercise that the power of reproduction would be either totally destroyed or so impaired that the race would degenerate into moral, intellectual and physical pigmies. God has made the passivity of the wife the protection of her husband and a source of manifold blessing to their children.

With rare exceptions, in married life, most of the sexual desire comes from the husband. Wives rarely seek the closeness of their husbands. They are usually indifferent and often completely uninterested. In contrast, when husbands are in good health, the situation is quite different; it's clear that if wives had the same strong desires, husbands would need to engage in sexual activity so often that it could completely undermine their ability to reproduce or significantly weaken it, leading to a decline in the moral, intellectual, and physical abilities of future generations. God has made the wife's passivity a safeguard for her husband and a source of many blessings for their children.

Upon the other hand, her uninterrupted and entire neglect of the sexual relation is wisely overcome, to the advantage of the wife, by her husband's greater sexual activity, while at the same time her restraining passiveness is made his safeguard and security. Each brings into[Pg 50] the married relation inclinations and propensities which are to modify the other, to the mutual benefit of both.

On the other hand, her complete and ongoing neglect of their sexual relationship is effectively countered, benefiting the wife, by her husband's higher sexual drive. At the same time, her passive restraint acts as his protection and stability. Each partner brings into the marriage their own inclinations and tendencies that adjust the other, ultimately benefiting them both.

If husbands and wives only knew and adequately realized these facts, and harmonized their thought and conduct toward each other accordingly, much of the discord, estrangement and consequent unhappiness in married life would be eliminated and disappear. When both alike recognize these differences and the Wisdom which has made them to differ, and when each is willing to accept the modifying influence of the other in the manner in which God has intended, the discord and misery which blight thousands of lives and destroy such multitudes of homes will give place to a benediction and blessing which will restore to earth a larger measure of the happiness of Eden.

If husbands and wives only understood and fully realized these facts, and aligned their thoughts and actions toward each other accordingly, a lot of the conflict, distance, and resulting unhappiness in married life would be eliminated. When both partners recognize these differences and the wisdom behind them, and when each is willing to embrace the positive influence of the other as intended, the strife and misery that tarnish countless lives and ruin so many homes will be replaced by blessings that bring back a greater sense of happiness reminiscent of Eden.

But before closing this chapter upon the complemental differences between the two sexes, it will be interesting to observe some remarkable similarities in the reproductive organs themselves, and to note how, in that infinite wisdom which is marvelous in our eyes, God has so modified their form and office that the external organs of reproduction in man become the internal and seemingly different organs of reproduction in woman.

But before wrapping up this chapter on the complementary differences between the two sexes, it’s worth noting some notable similarities in their reproductive organs. It’s fascinating to see how, in a wisdom that is truly remarkable, God has designed their shapes and functions so that the external reproductive organs in men correspond to the internal and seemingly different reproductive organs in women.

To understand the full significance of what we have briefly to say upon this subject it will be well to recall the fact that in man and animals even those physical characteristics which may be regarded as strictly feminine are present[Pg 51] in a rudimentary form in the male, and vice versa. Let a single instance suffice. The paps and breasts of the male are but the diminutive and dormant breasts and nipples of the female; and this is true not only with man, but with the lower animals.

To fully grasp the importance of what we briefly want to discuss on this topic, it’s helpful to remember that in both humans and animals, even the physical traits that we see as strictly feminine are found in a basic form in males, and vice versa. Just one example will do. The chest and breasts of males are simply smaller and inactive versions of the breasts and nipples found in females; this applies not only to humans but also to lower animals.[Pg 51]

The male not only simulates but really possesses in rudimentary form all the parts and powers which characterize the fuller development in the opposite sex.

The male not only imitates but also really has, in a basic form, all the features and abilities that define the complete development in the opposite sex.

That this is true is demonstrated by the cases of abnormal sexual development which at long intervals are born in different lands, and by the occasional instances in heathen countries where old men, after prolonged stimulation of the breasts, are made effectively to serve as nurses for infants.

That this is true is shown by the cases of abnormal sexual development that are born in different places at long intervals, and by the rare instances in non-Christian countries where older men, after extended stimulation of the breasts, are effectively able to serve as nurses for infants.

As the pelvic bone in man and woman is modified by the various changes of form which adapt it to the different necessities of each sex, so in a large measure are the reproductive organs, primarily, the same in men and women.

As the pelvic bone in men and women changes shape to meet the different needs of each sex, so too are the reproductive organs largely the same in both men and women.

If you enlarge the curve of the pelvic frontal, then press the scrotum or sack of the male upward into the body, it will correspond to the vagina and the womb of the female. Move the testicles to the right and the left and you have their counterparts, the ovaries, while the spermatic cords form the Fallopian tubes for the passage of the completely formed ovum from the ovaries to the womb. Without materially disturbing its position, diminish the sexual[Pg 52] member of the male and you have the clitoris of the female.

If you expand the curve of the pelvic area, then push the scrotum or the male's sack upward into the body, it will align with the vagina and the womb of the female. Move the testicles to the right and the left, and you have their equivalents, the ovaries, while the spermatic cords represent the Fallopian tubes for the passage of the fully formed ovum from the ovaries to the womb. Without significantly changing its position, reduce the size of the male sexual member and you have the clitoris of the female.

It is readily seen that with these changes of position, together with slight modifications of form and function, those parts which to the unobservant and the unthoughtful seem wholly different in the two sexes are, after all, discovered to be only diversified forms of the same thing.

It’s clear that with these changes in position, along with minor adjustments in shape and function, the parts that may appear completely different in the two sexes to the casual observer or those not thinking deeply are actually just varied forms of the same thing.

But this very fact, however, invests the study of this subject with increased interest, and displays in an unexpected manner the wonderful wisdom which characterizes everything that God has created; for as these organs take upon themselves the modifications of either sex, every other organ and faculty that together constitute the individual must be so modified as to adjust the physical, intellectual, social and moral natures into harmonious unity of personality.

But this very fact makes studying this subject even more interesting and shows in an unexpected way the incredible wisdom that marks everything God has created; because as these organs adopt the traits of either sex, every other organ and ability that makes up the individual must also adapt to align the physical, intellectual, social, and moral aspects into a harmonious unity of personality.


CHAPTER IV.

ESSENTIALS IN HUSBAND AND HOME.

Before writing of what a young husband ought to know with regard to his wife and his children, subjects which are to engage our thought in Part Second and Part Third, it is important that we should carefully consider some matters which he ought to know concerning himself; for his future happiness, and usefulness as well, will be quite as much dependent upon the mental, physical and moral equipment which he personally brings to the union as the endowments and qualifications which are possessed by his partner and companion.

Before discussing what a young husband should understand about his wife and children, topics that we will explore in Parts Two and Three, it's vital to take a closer look at a few things he should know about himself. His future happiness and ability to contribute meaningfully will rely heavily on the mental, physical, and moral qualities he brings to the relationship, just as much as the traits and skills his partner possesses.

If your wife is to have a fair chance for a pleasant home and a happy and useful life, she will need a husband who can sacrifice his personal luxuries and self-indulgences in order that he may share with her and the family the comforts and blessings of their home—a man who will scorn the saloon, avoid the club, remain away from the lodge, give up his cigar, and spend his time and his money for the comfort and happiness of his family.

If your wife is going to have a fair chance at a pleasant home and a happy, fulfilling life, she needs a husband who can sacrifice his personal luxuries and indulgences so he can share in the comforts and blessings of their home—a man who will reject the bar scene, steer clear of clubs, stay away from lodges, give up his cigars, and invest his time and money into the comfort and happiness of his family.

There are hundreds of homes which are rendered unhappy, and in many senses miserable, because of the neglect and want which are due wholly to the selfishness and lack of consideration upon the part of the husband. If you[Pg 54] wish to preserve and perpetuate that which is noblest and best in your wife and your children, you can only do so by making your home the centre of your thought, and by making your loved ones the sharers of your purse and your pleasures. If you wish them to live for your comfort and happiness, they have an equal right to expect you to live and sacrifice for their comfort and happiness. Almost any promising bride may soon be made an ill-tempered wife, a discontented homekeeper and an indifferent mother by an improvident, extravagant, selfish and neglectful husband. In most instances, ruined homes come principally from drink, idleness, bad temper, shiftlessness and thriftless habits, brutal husbands, slatternly wives and Christless living. Do your duty faithfully to your wife and your children, and then, if home and happiness are wrecked, the responsibility will not rest upon you.

There are hundreds of homes that are unhappy and, in many ways, miserable because of the neglect and lack that come from the selfishness and disregard of the husband. If you[Pg 54] want to nurture and sustain the best qualities in your wife and children, you need to make your home the focus of your thoughts and include your loved ones in your finances and joys. If you want them to live for your comfort and happiness, they have just as much right to expect you to live and sacrifice for their comfort and happiness. Almost any promising bride can quickly become an irritable wife, an unhappy homemaker, and a neglectful mother due to a careless, extravagant, selfish, and neglectful husband. In many cases, broken homes are largely caused by alcohol, laziness, bad temper, unmotivated behavior, irresponsible husbands, neglectful wives, and a lack of faith. Fulfill your responsibilities to your wife and children faithfully, and if home and happiness do fall apart, the blame won’t be on you.

In woman, the love of home is usually more dominant than in man. By cultivating this in yourself you will produce a harmony of thought and purpose which will contribute greatly to the comfort and well-being of both. Adorn your home with your own hands. Beautify the lawn, the shrubbery, and all external surroundings. It matters not how great your wealth, or how small your purse, every consideration, effort and sacrifice you make in these directions will add to your own health and happiness and endear you to your wife. In the development of this common interest, you may secure in your own ex[Pg 55]perience and the experience of your wife that happiness which is so manifest in springtime in the united industry of the two robins as they mold and fashion the nest together, moved by a common impulse and the premonition of the birdlings that are soon to be.

In women, the love of home is generally stronger than in men. By nurturing this in yourself, you'll create a sense of harmony in thought and purpose that greatly enhances the comfort and well-being of both. Decorate your home with your own hands. Beautify the lawn, the plants, and everything outside. It doesn't matter how wealthy you are or how tight your budget is; every consideration, effort, and sacrifice you make in these areas will boost your health and happiness and make you more lovable to your wife. In developing this shared interest, you can find in your own experience and your wife's experience that happiness that is so evident in springtime when two robins work together to build their nest, driven by a shared instinct and the anticipation of the little ones that are about to come.

Be devoted. Keep up your courtship. Remember and repeat the little attentions which gave you pleasure months and years ago simply because you knew that they were a source of pleasure to the one whom you coveted as your bride and companion for life. How can your wife love and respect you if you neglect and forsake her? During your courtship, the club, the lodge and the society of others had to accept second place. You preferred her company to that of all others. If you are to her and she to you what each should be, this preference of the one for the society and companionship of the other will continue throughout life. Your home will be your clubhouse, and no society, or gilded hall, or corner grocery with its lounging company, will be able to attract you from her and from your home.

Be devoted. Keep the romance alive. Remember and bring back the small gestures that made you happy months and years ago simply because you knew they brought joy to the person you want as your wife and lifelong partner. How can your wife love and respect you if you ignore and abandon her? During your courtship, your friends, clubs, and other social groups took a backseat. You chose her company over everyone else's. If you both are truly meant for each other, that preference for one another's company will last throughout your lives. Your home will be your social hub, and no club, fancy venue, or local hangout will lure you away from her and your home.

Most men who frequent these places are attracted there; but some go there because repelled from their homes. There are women whose inconsiderate treatment of their husbands repels them from their families and their homes, and the husbands simply resort to the club or other place of assemblage in their natural search for a place of refuge and fellowship. But such instances are the exception. In the majority of[Pg 56] cases the fault is largely, if not wholly, with the husband. Oftentimes his conduct is due to his thoughtlessness, but more frequently to pure selfishness.

Most men who hang out in these places are drawn there; but some go because they’re pushed away from their homes. There are women whose thoughtless behavior towards their husbands drives them away from their families and homes, and the husbands end up at the club or another gathering spot in their natural quest for a refuge and companionship. However, these cases are the exception. In most of[Pg 56]instances, the blame lies primarily, if not entirely, with the husband. Often, his behavior results from his lack of consideration, but more often it’s due to plain selfishness.

Recently the writer called at the home of a mechanic to secure his services in a job of work. It was between eight and nine o'clock in the evening, and quite dark. For some time no one answered our knock. Finally a young wife, looking pale, weary and lonely, bearing a large lamp in one hand and a small child on the other arm, opened the door of the desolate home. We had a right to expect to find the husband and father at home, but no; to our inquiry we were told that we would likely find him at the toll-gate, the harness-maker's, or the grocery. Unless indications were deceptive, here was a case of cold indifference and selfish neglect. Would that this were a rare instance; but there are thousands of such in all circles of society in our cities and towns, and in the country as well.

Recently, the writer visited the home of a mechanic to ask for his help with a job. It was between eight and nine o'clock in the evening, and it was quite dark. For a while, no one answered our knock. Finally, a young wife, looking pale, tired, and lonely, holding a large lamp in one hand and a small child in the other, opened the door to the empty home. We expected to find the husband and father at home, but no; when we asked, we were told that he was probably at the tollgate, the harness shop, or the grocery store. If the signs weren’t misleading, this was a case of cold indifference and selfish neglect. I wish this were a rare situation; unfortunately, there are thousands like it in all parts of society in our cities and towns, and in the countryside too.

We clip the following suggestive incident, and submit it as pertinent at this place:

We present the following relevant incident and share it here:

"'My home shall be my clubhouse' said a young, unmarried, traveling-man, when returning from a visit to a former friend who had married and lived in a pleasant home. Almost the first words the latter spoke, as his visitor seated himself in the parlor, was: 'I want you to go over with me and see our nice, new clubrooms.'"

"'My home will be my clubhouse,' said a young, single, traveling man when he returned from a visit to an old friend who had married and settled down in a nice house. Almost the first thing the friend said as his visitor sat down in the living room was, 'I want you to come over and check out our nice, new clubrooms.'"

"But I did not come to see them," was the reply; "I came to see you and your family."[Pg 57]

"But I didn't come to see them," was the reply; "I came to see you and your family."[Pg 57]

"That you can do anyhow," was the response, "so please get ready and we will go over and spend the evening there with a nice lot of friends."

"That’s something you can manage," was the reply, "so please get ready, and we’ll head over to spend the evening with a great group of friends."

"Further protest seemed ungracious, so the visitor yielded. Hour after hour passed by, and it was midnight before the visitor could induce his host, who was beginning to feel the effects of a night's drinking and revelry, to accompany him to his home.

"Further protest felt ungrateful, so the visitor gave in. Hours went by, and it was already midnight before the visitor could persuade his host, who was starting to feel the aftereffects of a night of drinking and partying, to go home with him."

"In the morning the host, who evidently felt that nothing had transpired at the clubrooms that could be objected to, asked his friend, 'Well, what is your opinion of our clubroom accommodations?'"

"In the morning, the host, who clearly felt that nothing had happened at the clubrooms that could be criticized, asked his friend, 'So, what do you think of our clubroom facilities?'"

"The rooms are very nicely furnished," was the rather evasive reply.

"The rooms are really nicely furnished," was the somewhat vague response.

"But what I want to know is, how did you enjoy yourself in them?"

"But what I want to know is, how did you have fun in them?"

"As further evasion was useless, the guest said: 'You are asking me a plain question, and I will answer it frankly. I am a single man, and expect soon to get married. If I continue to prosper, I intend to settle down in a comfortable home, and spend my evenings with my wife and my children. As for your clubrooms, if I wanted to neglect my family and my business, and perhaps go to ruin, I think I could soon bring about that result by spending my evenings in your clubrooms; and I am more resolved than ever that when I am once married my home shall be my clubhouse.'"

"As further evasion was pointless, the guest said: 'You're asking me a straightforward question, and I’ll answer it honestly. I’m a single man and expect to get married soon. If I keep doing well, I plan to settle down in a comfortable home and spend my evenings with my wife and kids. As for your clubrooms, if I wanted to neglect my family and my career, and maybe end up in a bad place, I think I could easily achieve that by spending my evenings in your clubrooms; and I’m more determined than ever that once I’m married, my home will be my clubhouse.'"

Now, we would not seem to indicate that the[Pg 58] only proper place for the husband is in the house—that he should not go out in the evening for diversion, social fellowship, or recreation. Not at all. These things are often necessary for his health, his happiness and his well-being. But are they not as essential to the health, the happiness and well-being of the wife as of the husband? If he seeks diversion in the evenings, let it be where his wife may accompany him, and share whatever benefits he enjoys. If family duties or the care of children render it impossible for both to leave home at the same time, then manifestly it is the duty of the husband to divide the advantages and disadvantages with the wife; and if the husband has the true father-spirit, the privilege of frequently remaining at home to spend the evening with his children will afford more pleasure and more profit than could be secured elsewhere.

Now, we wouldn’t suggest that the[Pg 58] only appropriate place for the husband is at home—that he shouldn’t go out in the evening for fun, socializing, or recreation. Not at all. These activities are often important for his health, happiness, and well-being. But aren’t they just as crucial for the health, happiness, and well-being of the wife as well? If he wants to go out in the evenings, let it be to places where his wife can join him and share in whatever benefits he enjoys. If family responsibilities or taking care of the kids make it impossible for both to leave home at the same time, then it’s clear that the husband should share the advantages and disadvantages with his wife; and if the husband has the true spirit of a father, the privilege of often staying at home to spend the evening with his children will provide more joy and benefit than he could find elsewhere.

The husband should plan and arrange to give his wife a proper amount of relaxation and diversion. The limitations of her restricted life make recreation and relaxation essential to the maintenance of good health and a cheerful disposition. But, in all your planning and arrangements, remember that relaxation and diversion may be secured within the home as well as without, and can be there enjoyed by the children also, and by others who may chance to share the home with you. If you and your wife have true father-love and mother-love, you will prefer home and the companionship of your children to any other place, and to the[Pg 59] company of any other person or persons. Faithful husbands and wives and well-poised parents will need no specific directions in these matters. They will know how to care for their children, and at the same time not sacrifice health and cheeriness.

The husband should plan and arrange to give his wife a good amount of relaxation and fun. Due to the constraints of her limited routine, recreation and downtime are crucial for maintaining good health and a positive attitude. However, in all your planning, keep in mind that relaxation and entertainment can be found at home just as much as they can outside, and the kids and anyone else living with you can enjoy them too. If you and your wife have genuine fatherly and motherly love, you'll prefer the comfort of home and the company of your children over anywhere else and the company of anyone else. Committed husbands and wives and balanced parents won't need specific instructions on this. They'll know how to care for their children while also taking care of their own health and happiness.

These are important subjects for the thoughtful consideration of young husbands, and older ones also; and while upon this matter, it may be well for those of us who are too apt to delegate to the wife the whole duty of making the home cheery and happy, to read and think upon the following from the pen of Dr. Isaac Farrar:

These are important topics for young husbands to think about, and older ones too; and while we're on this subject, it might be good for those of us who often hand over the entire responsibility of making the home joyful and happy to our wives, to read and reflect on the following from Dr. Isaac Farrar:

"How do you go home to your wife after business hours? Do you not frequently find a tired woman, who has been so hard at work all day with the care of three or four babies, and an incompetent hired girl, that she has found no time to make an afternoon toilet, to meet you as you would like to have her on your return? Try and be a sympathizing husband now; embrace your faithful wife and say to her: 'Never mind, my dear, I'm home early to-night. Come now, go and rest yourself, while I put little Clarence and Addie to bed, and if Frank comes in for his supper I will tell Bridget what to get for him.'

"How do you come home to your wife after work? Don’t you often find a tired woman who has been busy all day taking care of three or four kids and dealing with an incompetent housekeeper, so she hasn’t had a chance to freshen up to meet you as you’d like? Try to be a compassionate husband now; hug your loyal wife and say to her: 'Don’t worry, my dear, I’m home early tonight. Why don’t you go rest while I put little Clarence and Addie to bed, and if Frank comes in for dinner, I’ll tell Bridget what to make for him.'”

"Are you mindful of draughts and slamming doors while she takes her rest for an hour or so, and can you not induce her to take that rest every day? Remember her days are long, just as busy, and more full of petty cares than yours. A woman is required to be everything, from a[Pg 60] reception committee to receive calls in the parlor, to a nurse in the nursery and a chief executive in the kitchen; while a business man devotes himself to a single trade or profession.

"Are you aware of drafts and slamming doors while she rests for an hour or so, and can you encourage her to take that rest every day? Keep in mind her days are long, just as busy, and filled with more minor worries than yours. A woman is expected to be everything, from a[Pg 60] reception committee to welcome guests in the parlor, to a nurse in the nursery and the head of the household in the kitchen; while a businessman focuses on a single trade or profession."

"When you undertake to entertain your wife the evenings you are at home, do not have too much to say about the 'scarcity of money;' for perhaps, in her particular case, she knows as much about that as you do; and if the wood and coal bills are larger every year, remember that your family is larger as well; and do not tell her the general dislike you have for children unless they are angels, for they cannot quite be angels during their stay here on earth.

"When you take the time to entertain your wife on the evenings you're home, try not to talk too much about the 'lack of money;' because maybe, in her situation, she knows just as much about it as you do. And if the bills for wood and coal keep getting bigger each year, keep in mind that your family is growing too. Also, don’t mention your general dislike for kids unless they’re perfect, because they can’t really be perfect while they’re here on earth."

"When the children are in bed and the house quiet, do not seat yourself in the easy chair and read the newspaper to yourself, from editorials to market reports, as if it contained nothing that would interest an intelligent woman. Newspapers read in selfish solitude by thoughtless husbands have made the 'rift within the lute' in more than one happy home.

"When the kids are in bed and the house is quiet, don’t just plop down in the easy chair and read the newspaper from front page to market reports, acting like it has nothing to offer an intelligent woman. Reading newspapers in selfish solitude by thoughtless husbands has caused a 'rift in the lute' in more than one happy home."

"How many anecdotes and stories do you tell your wife to provoke a smile or a laugh? How many roses or pinks do you pin on your coat, and how many do you bring home to her? Are you careful of your own appearance in the long evenings when there is no other woman but her to be captivated by your manly charms? I am inclined to believe there is more excuse for her, if her dress has not been changed, her hair made tidy, than there is for you, most noble husband! Perhaps you never gave it a[Pg 61] thought; but do not excuse your indifference and neglect of fond attentions, for they are just as dear to that careworn wife of yours at forty-five, or even fifty, years as at twenty-two, when you promised her that you would be true and faithful to her through life's journey. Have you honorably kept your word?

"How many stories and jokes do you share with your wife to make her smile or laugh? How many roses or flowers do you wear on your coat, and how many do you bring home for her? Do you pay attention to your appearance during those long evenings when the only woman around is her, waiting to be charmed by you? I think there’s more reason for her if she hasn’t changed her outfit or tidied her hair than there is for you, most esteemed husband! Maybe you’ve never really thought about it; but don’t brush off your indifference and lack of sweet gestures, because they mean just as much to your tired wife at forty-five, or even fifty, as they did when she was twenty-two, when you promised her that you'd be true and loyal throughout life. Have you kept your promise?"

"Your answer may be: 'My wife knows I love her, and that's enough.' She may know it, but it is a pleasant thing to be assured of now and then, and if there were more everyday assurances there would be fewer careless, heart-starved wives."

"Your answer might be: 'My wife knows I love her, and that’s enough.' She might know it, but it’s nice to hear it every now and then, and if there were more everyday reassurances, there would be fewer neglected, heartbroken wives."

It is the nature of all women to love to be wooed and won, and after marriage the same nature craves attention, tenderness, and the expression of appreciation, affection and love. No man, even if he were so sordid and selfish as to be moved by no less base or no more worthy motive than the satisfaction of his own sensual nature and consideration for his own personal comfort, could afford to withhold the expression of at least some measure of thoughtful consideration and attention. But any home in which such feelings have to be feigned, because they cannot truly be felt, is one in which commiseration and pity need to have a large place.

It's natural for all women to enjoy being pursued and desired, and after marriage, they still seek attention, kindness, and expressions of appreciation, affection, and love. No man, even if he were selfish and motivated only by his own desires and comfort, could afford to withhold at least some level of thoughtful attention and care. However, in any home where such feelings have to be faked because they aren't genuinely felt, there's a need for a lot of sympathy and compassion.

Should you ever note upon the part of your own wife the slightest manifestation of indifference and estrangement, put away from your lips, and even from your heart, all words of reproof and reproach, and try again the methods[Pg 62] that enabled you to win the affections of your wife months and years ago. We grant you that there are some women who are regular Xantippes, whom no philosopher can manage, of whom we have given illustrious examples in the lives of some eminent men in the preceding volume, but let us hope that they are not numerous.

If you ever notice any signs of indifference or distance from your wife, set aside any words of criticism and blame, and try the methods[Pg 62] that helped you win her love months or years ago. We acknowledge that there are some women who are really challenging, ones that no philosopher can handle, and we've mentioned notable examples in the lives of some famous men in the previous volume, but let's hope they are not too many.

There are men, and not a few of them, we fear, who are doomed to disappointment in marriage. It does not take them long to discover the discrepancy between what they thought marriage to be and what it really is. They soon regard this union a mistake, and in a few years, and some even in a few months, denounce marriage as a failure. The truth is that the sole and only failure is found in the mistaken and unworthy views held, concerning marriage, by one or both parties to the contract. Marriage is no failure, but these men are themselves the failures. They belong to a class who hold most degraded views concerning woman and her relation to her husband in marriage. They regard woman as having been created solely to gratify the unbridled lust of man. They married with the idea that in such a union the grossest lust would have the sanction of law, and that in the marriage ceremony the wife relinquished all right to her own body, and for the satisfaction of wearing the white veil and carrying a bouquet of flowers consented to surrender to him not only her rights, but her sense of decency as well. These men who stare decency out of countenance upon the street, who lay traps for[Pg 63] the ruin of innocent and unsuspecting girls, who invade the sanctity of home, and whose course through life is like the slimy trail of a venomous serpent, are unfit for marriage—they are unfit to be regarded even as men. No man, it matters not how full his bank account or how fine his clothes, if he holds these low views of woman and of the wife's place in the marriage relation, is worthy of a wife, for he dishonors his own mother and sisters, dishonors every right-thinking man, and his Maker as well. Any man who has in him the seeds of such unworthy sentiments may be sure that even though they may be hidden during the earlier years, they will soon grow, and hasten to a harvest of terrible fruitage.

There are men, and not a few, who we fear are doomed to disappointment in marriage. It doesn’t take them long to realize the gap between what they thought marriage would be and what it actually is. They soon see this union as a mistake, and in a few years—some even in a few months—they denounce marriage as a failure. The truth is that the only real failure comes from the misguided and unworthy views about marriage held by one or both people involved. Marriage itself isn’t a failure; these men are the ones who fail. They belong to a group with the most degraded views about women and their role as wives. They see women as being created solely to satisfy men's uncontrolled desires. They enter marriage thinking that this union gives legal approval to their basest lusts, believing that during the marriage ceremony, the wife gives up all rights to her own body, and in exchange for wearing a white veil and carrying a bouquet, she consents to give up not just her rights but her sense of decency as well. These men, who stare decently at women on the street, set traps to ruin innocent and unsuspecting girls, invade the sanctity of homes, and whose path through life resembles the slimy trail of a venomous snake, are unfit for marriage—they aren't even fit to be called men. No man, no matter how much money he has or how nice his clothes are, is worthy of a wife if he holds these low views of women and the wife's role in marriage, because he dishonors his own mother and sisters, disrespects every right-thinking man, and offends his Creator. Any man who has such unworthy feelings within him can be sure that even if they remain hidden in his early years, they will soon surface and lead to a terrible outcome.

The happiness of many homes is wrecked in the early struggle to determine whether the will of the wife or the will of the husband shall have pre-eminence. We have even heard brides boasting that in trivial matters they contended with their husbands in order to teach them from the very beginning that they did not propose to recognize any superior right in the husband to direct, or, as they said, "to boss it over them." Brides often object to the word "obey" in the marriage service, and instead of using the words "Love, honor and obey," the substitution is often made of "Love, honor and cherish," or "reverence." If the word "obey" is understood by the husband to mean imperious domination, then it had better be universally expunged. Yet, nevertheless, there is a great deal of truth[Pg 64] in the declaration of Napoleon that he would rather have his army in command of one poor general than of two good ones. The careful execution of an ordinary plan is much better than that which comes as the result of divergent views and conflicting opinions.

The happiness of many homes is often disrupted in the early struggle to decide whether the wife's will or the husband's will should take priority. We've even heard brides bragging that in minor matters they argued with their husbands to show them from the start that they didn't intend to acknowledge any superior right the husband had to lead or, as they put it, "to boss them around." Brides frequently dislike the word "obey" in the marriage ceremony, and instead of saying "Love, honor, and obey," they often choose to say "Love, honor, and cherish," or "revere." If the husband interprets "obey" as being about harsh control, then it might be better to eliminate it entirely. Still, there is a lot of truth[Pg 64] in Napoleon's statement that he would prefer his army to be led by one mediocre general instead of two capable ones. Carrying out a simple plan effectively is far better than dealing with the chaos that comes from differing perspectives and clashing opinions.

In an address delivered before the First National Congress of Mothers held in Washington, Hamilton Cushing, the chief of the Ethnological Department of the Government, gave a very interesting account of the custom among the Zuni Indians, who recognize the pre-eminence of the female in everything. The men are not even allowed to hold or to have any right in property, other than through their wives, mothers or sisters. In many marriage unions the wife is easily the intellectual superior of her husband, but the universal custom among civilized nations is to recognize the husband as the head of the house. This is the Christian idea, and the plain teaching of Scripture; not, however, in that mistaken sense which is so often intended when the words are quoted: "The husband is the head of the wife." The Scriptures nowhere justify a husband in assuming imperious domination over his wife. He is "the head of the wife," but in that loving, considerate sense "even as Christ is the head of the Church." The Scriptural teaching is so important and so beautiful that we insert here, in their entirety, two of the principal selections upon this subject. That which relates to the wife we have printed in italics, and that which relates to the husband we have[Pg 65] printed in small capitals. But to understand the relation of these two co-ordinate truths, it is necessary that the reader should note carefully the entire context. Paul, in the fifth chapter of his letter to the Ephesians, from the twenty-second to the thirty-third verse, writes as follows:

In a speech given at the First National Congress of Mothers in Washington, Hamilton Cushing, the head of the Ethnological Department of the Government, shared a fascinating insight into the Zuni Indians, who place women at the forefront in every aspect. Men aren’t allowed to hold or have any rights to property, except through their wives, mothers, or sisters. In many marriages, the wife is often more intellectually adept than her husband, yet in most civilized societies, it is customary to recognize the husband as the head of the household. This aligns with Christian values and the straightforward teachings of Scripture; however, it should not be misunderstood in the way it often is when people quote: "The husband is the head of the wife." The Scriptures do not support a husband taking an authoritative stance over his wife. He is "the head of the wife," but in a loving and considerate way, "just as Christ is the head of the Church." The teachings in Scripture are so vital and beautiful that we will include two main selections on this topic below. The parts concerning the wife are in italics, and those concerning the husband are in small capitals. To grasp the connection between these two important truths, it is essential for the reader to closely consider the entire context. Paul, in the fifth chapter of his letter to the Ephesians, from verses twenty-two to thirty-three, writes as follows:

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, Love Your Wives, Even as Christ also Loved the Church, and Gave Himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So Ought Men to Love their Wives as their Own Bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular So Love His Wife Even as Himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."[Pg 66]

Wives, be submissive to your own husbands, just as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just like Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for it.; so that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water through the word, to present it to Himself as a glorious church, without spot, wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. In the same way, men should love their wives as they love their own bodies. The man who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hated his own flesh but feeds and cares for it, just as the Lord does for the church; for we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each one of you must Love Your Wife as Yourself; and the wife must respect her husband.[Pg 66]

Here is clearly and beautifully set forth the correct relative pre-eminence in the home. It is the wife recognizing the headship of her husband, as the Church recognizes the headship, leadership and authority of Christ. Upon the part of the husband, his headship is to be exercised in the spirit of that abounding love which led the Son of God to the sacrifice of Himself, both during His life and in His atoning death, for the salvation and blessing of that body of believers who constitute the Christian Church.

Here is a clear and beautiful explanation of the proper relationships in the home. It shows the wife acknowledging her husband’s leadership, just as the Church acknowledges Christ's headship, leadership, and authority. The husband is to exercise his leadership with the same abundant love that motivated the Son of God to sacrifice Himself, both in His life and in His atoning death, for the salvation and well-being of the community of believers known as the Christian Church.

The teachings of Peter in his first general letter, or epistle, in the third chapter, from the first to the seventh verse, is as follows:

The teachings of Peter in his first general letter, or epistle, in the third chapter, from the first to the seventh verse, are as follows:

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

"Similarly, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands; so that if any of them do not obey the word, they can be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful conduct. Your beauty should not come from outward adorning such as elaborate hairstyles, wearing gold, or putting on fine clothes; rather, it should be that inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is how the holy women of the past, who put their hope in God, used to adorn themselves, submitting to their own husbands: just like Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

"Likewise, ye Husbands, Dwell with[Pg 67] them According to Knowledge, Giving Honor Unto the Wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as Being Heirs Together of the Grace of Life; that your prayers be not hindered."

"Similarly, you husbands, live with your wives in a thoughtful way, honoring them as the weaker partner and as co-heirs of the grace of life; so that your prayers won’t be hindered."

Here the teaching is also very beautiful and impressive. The wife is to be in subjection to a considerate and loving Christian husband because it is her privilege and honor; but even though her husband be no Christian, one who "obeys not the Word," still she is to recognize and conform to this teaching, to the end that by her consistent Christian deportment, and that adorning of "the hidden man of the heart" which is to be exhibited in "a meek and quiet spirit" she may win him to a life with Christ.

Here, the teaching is also very beautiful and impactful. A wife should submit to a thoughtful and loving Christian husband because it is her privilege and honor. However, even if her husband is not a Christian, someone who "does not obey the Word," she should still acknowledge and follow this teaching. By her consistent Christian behavior and by showing "the hidden person of the heart" through "a gentle and quiet spirit," she may win him over to a life with Christ.

The husband is to dwell with his wife "according to knowledge," not in ignorance of the peculiar organs and functions of her reproductive nature; for Peter here manifestly refers specially to this, for with wonderful beauty he lifts the marital relation into a holy and sacred light by calling attention to the fact that the husband and the wife are "heirs together of the grace of life." In other words, God has taken his power as the Creator of life—think of it! as Creator—and made the husband and the wife joint heirs together of this grace or gift of creative power, which power they call into exercise in the act of reproduction. Surely, intelligence and reverence are essential, both in the husband and in the wife, in order that they may dwell together "according to knowledge."[Pg 68]

The husband should live with his wife "in an understanding way," not ignoring the unique aspects and functions of her reproductive nature; Peter specifically points this out. He beautifully elevates the marital relationship by highlighting that the husband and wife are "heirs together of the grace of life." In other words, God, as the Creator of life—think about it!—has made the husband and wife joint heirs of this grace or gift of creative power, which they utilize in reproduction. Clearly, both intelligence and respect are crucial for the husband and wife to live together "in an understanding way."[Pg 68]

It would scarcely seem necessary to enjoin industry as an essential to happiness in married life; and yet the happiness of many homes is wrecked on the rocks of ease and idleness. An idle person is like the ship that simply floats upon the seas without a cargo, and without a destination. There are ten thousand directions to shipwreck, but only one course that will bring the mariner to any desired port in safety.

It hardly seems necessary to stress that hard work is key to happiness in marriage; yet the joy in many homes is destroyed by laziness and inaction. An idle person is like a ship just drifting on the ocean without any cargo or direction. There are countless ways to end up shipwrecked, but only one path that will lead the sailor safely to their chosen destination.

In making labor essential, God conferred a great blessing upon man. The idle man is an unhappy man, and the idle woman is an unhappy woman. Industry is essential to the maintenance of good health, to the proper poise and manly mastery of the sexual nature, to a contented mind, a cheerful disposition, to happiness in the home and spirituality in the life.

In making work essential, God gave a great blessing to humanity. A lazy person is an unhappy person, and a lazy woman is an unhappy woman. Hard work is crucial for maintaining good health, for a balanced and responsible approach to sexuality, for a satisfied mind, for a positive attitude, for happiness at home, and for a spiritual life.

Whatever of incentive the past may have lacked, no young husband, unless he is without true manhood, can look into the face of his devoted wife and dependent children without being inspired by the obligation which rests upon him to make adequate provision for every present need and future emergency. His energy, his effort, his wisdom are largely to determine not only the present and future, but also the temporal and eternal destiny of those who gather in dependence about him. Let these be your inspiration. Not all men can amass wealth; nor is this essential. Remember there are many things secured by industry and effort which are more precious than gold. While a competence is desirable, large wealth is seldom[Pg 69] a great blessing. There is a world of sound philosophy in the declaration of a very rich man who said: "I worked like a slave until I was forty to make my fortune, and I have been watching it like a detective ever since—for which I have received only my lodging, food and clothes." A noble purpose, seconded by manly endeavor, will secure for your heart and your home what wealth cannot purchase.

Whatever incentives may have been missing in the past, no young husband, unless he lacks true manhood, can look into the eyes of his devoted wife and dependent children without feeling the weight of the obligation to provide adequately for their present needs and future emergencies. His energy, effort, and wisdom will largely determine not only their present and future but also their temporal and eternal destinies as they gather around him in dependence. Let these things inspire you. Not all men can accumulate wealth, nor is it essential. Remember, many things achieved through hard work and effort are more valuable than gold. While having enough is desirable, large wealth is rarely a great blessing. There is a lot of wisdom in the statement of a very rich man who said: "I worked like a slave until I was forty to make my fortune, and I have been watching it like a detective ever since—for which I have received only my lodging, food, and clothes." A noble purpose, combined with manly effort, will provide for your heart and home what wealth cannot buy.

We would be alike untrue to your best interests and unfaithful to Him who has called us to the delicate and difficult task we have undertaken in the preparation of these pages did we not say something concerning that which is highest and best in you, and which the Creator designed should dominate over every other department of your nature—namely, the religious or moral nature.

We would be untrue to your best interests and unfaithful to Him who has called us to the delicate and challenging task we've taken on in preparing these pages if we didn't say something about what is highest and best in you, which the Creator intended to be the guiding force over every other part of your nature—namely, your religious or moral nature.

If you want your wife to be happy, do not ask her to struggle onward and upward alone in the Christian life. She will be lonely if the dearest of earthly friends is unwilling to travel heavenward with her. You will double her difficulties if in your life and example you deny the correctness of her precepts and her life. Even if you propose to yourself a life of moral rectitude, yet, to your children, you will become only a stationary guide-board, pointing to their feet the way in which God intended that you should be a living guide. You have not done your duty when you have simply permitted the Saviour to come into your home as the guest of your wife and the Saviour of your children.[Pg 70] He comes to be a guest in your heart, as well as in your home. He comes not only to save your wife and your children, but to save you—to save the father, with the wife and the children.

If you want your wife to be happy, don’t expect her to navigate the Christian life alone. She’ll feel isolated if her closest friend isn't willing to journey toward heaven with her. You’ll make her challenges even harder if your actions and example contradict her beliefs and lifestyle. Even if you aim for a life of ethical living, you’ll just end up being a static signpost for your children, showing them the direction they’re supposed to follow instead of being a living example. You haven’t fulfilled your responsibilities if you only allow the Savior to be a guest in your wife’s life and the Savior of your children. He wants to be a guest in your heart, as well as in your home. He comes not just to save your wife and kids, but also to save you—to redeem the father, along with the wife and children.[Pg 70]

It is not enough, my dear brother, that you give something now and then toward the support of the church, that you send your children to Sunday-school, that you attend divine service now and then. Your wife and children cannot go to heaven for you. Their lonely struggle is saddened by your absence, and the thought that after having dwelt together with you upon the earth you may be forever separated from them in eternity.

It’s not enough, my dear brother, that you contribute occasionally to the church, that you send your kids to Sunday school, or that you attend service now and then. Your wife and children can’t go to heaven on your behalf. Their lonely fight is weighed down by your absence, and they are troubled by the idea that after living together with you on earth, you might be forever apart from them in eternity.

Let me appeal to you as an honest man. What is your duty in this matter? Your duty to your wife, to your children, to yourself, and to your God? If we were to look upon this subject simply in the light of temporal good, all the arguments would be in favor of living a Christian life.

Let me speak to you as an honest person. What is your responsibility in this situation? Your responsibility to your spouse, to your kids, to yourself, and to your God? If we consider this issue solely in terms of short-term benefits, all the reasons would support living a Christian life.

Even if you were to consider this subject on its very lowest plane, you should desire for your wife and your family those larger material blessings which are secured by a religious life. Christians have not only the promise of the life that is to come, but they have the promise also of the life that now is. Paul says: "Godliness is profitable unto all things, having the promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come." We grant you that not every Christian is encumbered with large wealth; neither is every irreligious man plunged into poverty.[Pg 71] While there are here and there instances where ungodly men are possessors of large wealth, these instances are exceptional, and the Scriptural reason not difficult to find. Their riches may be due to the fulfillment of the promise that God will visit blessings upon the children of the righteous from generation to generation. These people may have had praying and God-fearing parents, and on that account the children, in harmony with Scriptural promise, are now being crowned with the consequent blessings. Or, it may be, as the Scripture declares, that the wealth of the wicked is being laid up for the just, and the present wicked possessor may simply be holding this wealth in trust for the righteous descendants who are to come after him. Or, it may be, that God is seeking the salvation of this ungodly individual, for He tells us that "the goodness of the Lord is designed to lead us to repentance."

Even if you were to look at this topic from the most basic perspective, you should wish for your wife and family those greater material blessings that come from a religious life. Christians not only have the promise of life after death but also the promise of the life that now exists. Paul says, “Godliness is beneficial in all things, having the promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.” We acknowledge that not every Christian possesses great wealth, nor is every irreligious person in poverty.[Pg 71] While there are cases where unrighteous individuals have significant wealth, these cases are exceptions, and the Scriptural explanation is not hard to find. Their riches may stem from the promise that God will bless the children of the righteous from generation to generation. These individuals may have had praying, God-fearing parents, and as a result, the children are now receiving the blessings that align with Scripture. Alternatively, as Scripture states, the wealth of the wicked is being reserved for the just, and the current wicked possessor may simply be acting as a steward for the righteous descendants who will come after them. Or, it may be that God is pursuing the salvation of this ungodly person, as He tells us that “the goodness of the Lord is intended to lead us to repentance.”

The actual conditions are not to be determined by taking an exceptional example among the irreligious, but by dividing society as a whole into two classes, and then the result is seen at a glance. In the one class you have the profane, the vicious, the intemperate, the dishonest, the law-breakers, and the defiers of God and man. To this class belongs every man who staggers, reels and falls into the gutter, every tramp who walks the road, and nine-tenths of all the persons who fill our almshouses. It includes, with scarcely an exception, every man and woman who fill our prisons and reformatory institutions; those who[Pg 72] crowd the great tenements and live in filth and squalor in the slums of our cities; those whose bodies reek with physical and moral rottenness—these, and many others, constitute the class of the ungodly, and no attentive person can fail to observe that this is the character of that portion which the ungodly have in this world.

The actual conditions aren't determined by focusing on an exceptional case among the irreligious, but rather by looking at society as a whole and dividing it into two classes. From there, the results become clear. In one class, you have the profane, the corrupt, the reckless, the dishonest, the lawbreakers, and those who defy both God and humanity. This class includes everyone who drinks too much, stumbles, and ends up in the gutter, every homeless person on the street, and the vast majority of those who fill our shelters. It also includes almost everyone in our prisons and reform schools; those who crowd into cramped tenements and live in grime and poverty in the slums of our cities; those whose bodies and spirits are plagued by decay—these individuals, and many others, make up the class of the ungodly. Anyone paying attention can't help but notice that this is the reality of that portion of society that the ungodly represent in this world.

Now, turn to the other class. Walk up and down the streets where you find the most comfortable homes, the largest dwellings, the abodes of the most affluent and respectable in any city, and then answer the question, whether or no the wealth of the nation is not to-day largely in the hands of Christian men and Christian women? These are the people who have the best credit, who can draw checks for the largest amounts. Among this class you will find the most influential in business, the owners of our largest mercantile establishments. Men who direct and control the commerce of the world. Men who are at the head of our largest banking institutions, railroad and other corporations. But not only so. These are the people who dwell in the best homes, who eat the best food, who have the largest amount of material comforts. They are the people who enjoy the best health, who have the brightest minds, who produce the best books, the most helpful literature. They have the brightest eyes and the strongest bodies, and when cholera and plague come and sweep away men and women by thousands, it scarcely ever crosses the line which separates these from the intemperate and the vicious, who go down be[Pg 73]fore these scourges like grass before the sickle. Truly, my dear friend, if you are to look at it only from this lowest plane of present good and material comfort, godly living will bring to you the promise of the life that now is, and in addition you will also have the promise of the life which is to come, a part in the first resurrection, a place at Christ's right hand, and the promise of sitting upon a throne judging the nations—you shall be among those who in triumph enter the eternal city, and receive crowns and robes and palms of victory and eternal rest at God's right hand.

Now, look at another group. Walk through the neighborhoods with the most comfortable homes, the biggest houses, the places owned by the wealthiest and most respected people in any city, and then consider this question: isn’t it true that today a significant portion of the nation's wealth is held by Christian men and women? These are the people with the best credit, who can write checks for significant amounts. Within this group, you'll find the most influential figures in business, the owners of our largest retail establishments. They are the ones who run and manage global commerce. They lead our biggest banks, railroads, and other corporations. But that's not all. These are the ones living in the finest homes, enjoying the best food, and possessing the greatest material comforts. They enjoy the best health, have sharp minds, and produce the most valuable books and helpful literature. They have bright eyes and strong bodies, and when diseases like cholera and plague strike and claim thousands of lives, it rarely affects those in this group, who are separated from the reckless and immoral, who fall like grass before the sickle. Truly, my dear friend, if you only consider things from this basic level of immediate well-being and material comfort, a godly life brings you the promise of the life that is now, along with the promise of the life which is to come, a share in the first resurrection, a place at Christ's right hand, and the assurance of sitting on a throne judging the nations—you will be among those who triumphantly enter the eternal city, receiving crowns, robes, palms of victory, and eternal rest at God's right hand.

You cannot afford to neglect the spiritual, which is the highest and best of your threefold nature. You should call your entire being into fullest exercise. A Christian is the highest type of manhood, and you owe it to your wife and to your children, as well as to yourself and to your Master, to be satisfied with nothing short of this. If troubled with doubt you will find the difficulty in your own heart. If infidels have filled your mind with misgiving, or suggested unbelief, read "Christianity's Challenge,"[A] "A Square Talk to Young Men,"[B] and various other volumes of the Anti-Infidel Library.[C]

You can’t ignore the spiritual side of yourself, which is the most important part of your threefold nature. You should engage your whole being to the fullest. A Christian represents the highest form of manhood, and you owe it to your wife, your children, yourself, and your Master to aim for nothing less. If you’re feeling doubt, the issue is likely within your own heart. If skeptics have filled your mind with uncertainty or suggested disbelief, read "Christianity's Challenge,"[A] "A Square Talk to Young Men,"[B] and other books from the Anti-Infidel Library.[C]

[A] "Christianity's Challenge," by Rev. Dr. Herrick Johnson, American Tract Society, 269 pages, price $1.00.

[A] "The Challenge of Christianity," by Rev. Dr. Herrick Johnson, American Tract Society, 269 pages, price $1.00.

[B] "A Square Talk to Young Men," 94 pages, price 50 cents, by H. L. Hastings, Scriptural Tract Repository, Boston, Mass., 49 Cornhill street.

[B] "A Straight Talk to Young Men," 94 pages, price 50 cents, by H. L. Hastings, Scriptural Tract Repository, Boston, Mass., 49 Cornhill street.

[C] The Anti-Infidel Library in tract form, 5 cents each, by H. L. Hastings, Scriptural Tract Repository, 49 Cornhill street, Boston, Mass.

[C] The Anti-Infidel Library available in pamphlet form, 5 cents each, by H. L. Hastings, Scriptural Tract Repository, 49 Cornhill Street, Boston, MA.


CHAPTER V.

THE PHYSICAL COST OF PROCREATION.

Before a ship sails from port with its valuable cargo of goods and its priceless freightage of life, they do what is called "boxing the compass." Naturally the compass would point to the true north, but because of the character of the cargo the needle may be diverted from the true north. To discover whether such local influences exist, they test and correct the compass. The deviation from the true north might be very slight, and in a very short voyage the error might not result in serious consequences, but the interests involved are too momentous to permit of any risk. Before entering upon the new voyage of married life it is essential, for the purity and safety of the two who enter upon it, and also for the well-being of the other lives which may subsequently be added to the family, that the principles by which husband and wife are to be guided should be carefully examined, that errors may be discovered and corrected, for the wrecking of a ship is of less moment than the wrecking of human lives, for these involve not only temporal, but eternal destinies.

Before a ship leaves port with its valuable cargo and the priceless lives onboard, they do something called "boxing the compass." Normally, the compass points to true north, but because of the nature of the cargo, the needle might be thrown off course. To find out if there are any local influences affecting it, they test and adjust the compass. The deviation from true north could be minimal, and on a short journey, it might not lead to serious issues, but the stakes are too high to take any chances. Before embarking on the new journey of married life, it’s crucial—for the well-being and safety of the couple, as well as for the future lives that may be added to the family—that the principles guiding husband and wife are thoroughly examined, so any mistakes can be identified and corrected. The destruction of a ship is of lesser importance than the destruction of human lives, which involves not only their present circumstances but also their eternal destinies.

The false impressions which young people oftentimes get is due to the general absence of truthfulness upon the part of older and more[Pg 75] experienced persons in their conversations upon the subject of the sexual relation. Notwithstanding the fact that the questions which gather about the subjects of sex are of vast moment, yet these subjects have been so little written or spoken about in a pure and reverent way that, for the most part, pure-minded and honest people have banished the subject from the round of ordinary conversation. This abandonment of a sacred subject by the pure and truthful has resulted in the general ignorance and prevailing errors. Among the vile and impure the subject is much talked of, and because of the lack of correct knowledge, statements of the most exaggerated, unreasonable and oftentimes impossible are generally accepted as veritable truth. In dealing both with themselves and others, men are more deceitful and untruthful upon this subject than perhaps upon any other. It is because of these facts that the young and inexperienced so often form the most exaggerated and unreliable opinions upon subjects relating to the relation of the sexes.

The false impressions that young people often get are due to the general lack of honesty from older, more experienced individuals when discussing sexual topics. Even though the questions surrounding sex are really important, these topics have been so seldom addressed in a pure and respectful way that typically, honest and decent people have pushed them out of regular conversation. This avoidance of a sacred subject by the pure and truthful has led to widespread ignorance and common misconceptions. Among the corrupt and impure, the topic is frequently discussed, and due to a lack of accurate information, they often accept exaggerated, unreasonable, and sometimes impossible claims as true. In dealing with themselves and others, men can be more deceitful and dishonest about this topic than about any other. Because of this, young and inexperienced individuals frequently develop the most exaggerated and unreliable opinions regarding the relationships between the sexes.

That we may the better understand the whole question of the sexual relation it may be well to study the reproductive life of plants and the lower forms of animal life. The knowledge of the lessons they have to teach may prove a profitable subject for thoughtful consideration and lead to valuable conclusions for guidance in the relation between husband and wife.

That we can better understand the entire question of sexual relationships, it would be helpful to study the reproductive life of plants and lower forms of animal life. Learning the lessons they offer might lead to interesting insights and valuable conclusions to guide the relationship between husband and wife.

If with our desire to start with one of the[Pg 76] lowest forms of life we go to the pond and run our finger under the green scum which floats upon its surface, we will find one of the simplest forms of vegetable growth, known as spirogyra. The innumerable threads of green are quite like hairs that lie side by side, in close proximity but not in contact. Under the microscope each of these green threads is composed of long tube-like cells, placed end to end and forming a continuous growth. Under the microscope they very much resemble what in country districts is called bullrushes, or the different sections of a bamboo walking-stick or fishing-rod.

If we want to start with one of the[Pg 76] simplest forms of life, we can go to the pond and run our finger under the green scum floating on the surface. There, we'll find one of the basic types of plant life called spirogyra. The countless green threads look like hairs lying next to each other, close but not touching. Under a microscope, each of these green threads is made up of long, tube-like cells connected end to end, creating a continuous growth. Under the microscope, they closely resemble what people in rural areas call bullrushes or the different parts of a bamboo walking stick or fishing rod.

In the spring days, when this growth of green approaches its maturity, it arrives at that mysterious time when the future urgently appeals to it, when each cell feels a strange and irresistible attraction to its neighbor cell. Each reaches out toward the other until a contact is formed, a perfect union is effected, a new germ is created, and the old cells are left lifeless and perish. The union which results in the production of the fertilized seed, in which abides the spirogyra of another springtime, while its beginning costs the life of the parent plant, the verdure that lived in the green scum has passed away, the new germs fall to the bottom of the pond, where, through the drought of summer or the ice and cold of winter, they abide in the sure resurrection of that new life which is to come with the returning springtime.

In the spring, as the green plants reach maturity, they enter that mysterious time when the future calls to them. Each cell feels a strange and irresistible pull toward its neighboring cell. They reach out to one another until they make contact, forming a perfect union and creating a new germ, while the old cells wither and die. This union leads to the creation of the fertilized seed, which holds the potential for another spring, even though its formation costs the life of the parent plant. The lush greenery that once thrived in the green scum is gone, leaving the new germs to settle at the bottom of the pond, where they survive the summer drought or the winter ice and cold, patiently awaiting the renewal of life with the return of spring.

In the higher forms of life similar illustrations of the great parental sacrifice involved in the[Pg 77] act of reproduction are frequently found. This is specially seen among the fishes. During the reproductive weeks life speeds along with great intensity. Under the flow of that larger vitality which greatly quickens and augments certain parts of the organism, the fish increase in size, every part seems to attain its perfection and beauty, and the parent fishes yield themselves, to a reproductive impulse that proves fatal to millions of them. After a cod has expelled its million or more of eggs there is not much left of its own body. There is diminished vitality in every part. The male loses his appetite. Great physical changes result. The skin which covers his shrunken body changes in color, his nature becomes irritable and resentful, and he indulges in fierce combats with his fellows.

In the more advanced forms of life, similar examples of the great parental sacrifice involved in the[Pg 77] act of reproduction can often be seen. This is especially evident among fish. During the breeding season, life moves at a fast pace. With the surge of vitality that significantly energizes and enhances certain parts of their bodies, fish grow in size, every part seems to reach its peak and beauty, and parent fish surrender themselves to a reproductive drive that proves fatal for millions of them. After a cod releases a million or more eggs, not much remains of its own body. Every part shows decreased vitality. The male loses his appetite. Significant physical changes occur. The skin covering his shriveled body changes color, he becomes irritable and resentful, and he engages in fierce fights with other males.

The fatigue attendant upon the long journeys undertaken by the salmon during the spawning season and the exhausting effects of the fertilizing effort are so great that few survive the trying ordeal. The same results are practically true with regard to the shad. Somewhat analogous changes and results occur with the female, but they are less marked and less destructive. The male is characterized by a more intense activity, while her more quiet nature is her greater safeguard.

The fatigue that comes from the long journeys salmon take during the spawning season and the draining effects of the fertilizing process are so significant that few make it through the tough experience. Similar outcomes are mostly true for shad as well. Somewhat similar changes and effects happen with the female, but they’re less pronounced and less harmful. The male shows more intense activity, while her calmer nature provides her with better protection.

The exhaustive and often fatal effects of the reproductive act are very manifest in insect life. Among the insects the reproductive act of the male seems to round out the purpose and complete the period of his life. The exhaustive act[Pg 78] is oftentimes speedily followed by death. This same fatal termination is also experienced by the female after she has completed the work of developing and depositing the germ in some place suited for its protection and adapted to its eventual development and growth. In many instances the fertilizing principle is transferred from the body of the male to that of the female during flight, and, strange as it may seem, the intromittent organ of the male and the ovipositor of the female develop and continue only for that brief period which is necessary for the transference of the quickening principle and for the depositing of the egg in a place of safety.

The intense and often lethal effects of mating are very clear in insect life. For male insects, the act of mating seems to fulfill their purpose and mark the end of their life cycle. This exhausting act is often quickly followed by death. The same deadly outcome also occurs for the female after she finishes developing and laying the egg in a suitable location for protection and future growth. In many cases, the fertilizing substance is transferred from the male to the female while they are in flight, and, strangely enough, the male's mating organ and the female's egg-laying organ only develop and function for the short time needed for transferring the fertilizing substance and laying the egg in a safe spot.

The hive with its hundreds of bees affords an interesting illustration of the subject in hand. The male bee is a drone. His only purpose in life seems to be to await the period when the queen bee in her instinctive desire to perpetuate the life of the swarm is ready to receive the sperm-cells from the male. The drone is stingless and helpless. The germ of the queen bee was developed in a special cell, was fed on royal food and tenderly reared. Her office is not only to preside over the destinies of the swarm, but to her alone is assigned the entire work of reproduction. She never leaves the hive but once, and then upon her nuptial flight, accompanied by a male bee. When the wedding journey is over, and the queen bee has received the sperm from the male, his work is done and his destiny is sealed. Death then ensues either by natural laws, or he is stung to death by the[Pg 79] workers, who now regard him as an unnecessary burden upon the gathered stores of the hive.

The hive with its hundreds of bees provides an interesting example of the topic at hand. The male bee is a drone. His only purpose in life seems to be waiting for the moment when the queen bee, instinctively wanting to ensure the swarm's survival, is ready to accept sperm from the male. The drone has no sting and is helpless. The queen bee is developed in a special cell, fed royal food, and cared for with great attention. Her role is not just to lead the swarm's fate but also to handle all reproduction on her own. She only leaves the hive once for her mating flight, accompanied by a male bee. Once the mating is done, and the queen has received sperm from the male, his job is complete, and his fate is sealed. He then dies either naturally or is killed by the workers, who now see him as an unnecessary burden on the hive's resources.

The queen bee receives the sperm but once, and then, in a mysterious receptacle which Providence has provided, the sperm is stored, and for months, and even for years, for the supply has been known to last for five years, and during this time the millions of eggs which the queen bee lays are each fertilized at will, and, strange to say, her wonderful prolificness does not result in her exhaustion and death, and to prevent this sad result, her hive-mates make it their care that she shall be bountifully nourished with the most sumptuous food.

The queen bee receives sperm just once, and then, in a special storage area provided by nature, the sperm is kept. This supply can last for months, and even for years—it's been known to last up to five years. During this time, as the queen lays millions of eggs, each one is fertilized as needed. Interestingly, her incredible ability to produce offspring doesn't lead to her exhaustion and death. To prevent this unfortunate outcome, the other bees in the hive ensure that she is well-fed with the finest food.

With the birds, death, as the result of the reproductive act, disappears. The loss which they sustain in reproductive material is comparatively small, yet something of what this costs is manifest by the noticeable changes which take place immediately after they enter upon the mating season. The plumage loses its lustre, the song becomes less frequent and less ecstatic, and the incoming tides of life, which reached their fullness at the period of mating, ebb and recede.

With the birds, death, as a result of reproduction, fades away. The loss they experience in reproductive material is relatively small, yet the impact of this is evident in the noticeable changes that occur right after they enter mating season. Their feathers lose their shine, their songs become less frequent and less joyful, and the vibrant energy of life, which peaked during mating, starts to wane.

Among the higher forms of animal existence the duration of life is greatly prolonged. The number of the offspring is greatly reduced. The ovum of the female and the sperm of the male become microscopic. The germ of life remains within the body of the mother until it has reached that stage of development which fits it for its independent life in the outer world. The pe[Pg 80]riod from conception to birth is greatly prolonged, and the periods of deliverance from the necessity of the reproductive act are alike extended. The higher in the scale the more dependent the offspring, until in the instance of man the offspring is the most helpless and dependent of all. The prolonged dependence of the child upon the care of its parents is calculated to abate the fervor and force of reproductive inclination.

Among higher forms of animal life, the lifespan is significantly extended. The number of offspring is greatly reduced. The female's egg and the male's sperm become microscopic. The embryo develops inside the mother's body until it is ready for independent life in the outside world. The time from conception to birth is much longer, and the intervals between reproductive events are also extended. The higher the species, the more dependent the offspring, with humans being the most helpless and dependent of all. This extended dependence of children on their parents' care tends to reduce the intensity of reproductive desire.

While in man the reproductive act is not the precursor of death, yet it is the premonition of that event and the instinctive effort which nature makes to prevent the extermination of the race.

While for humans the act of reproduction doesn’t lead directly to death, it is a warning sign of that event and represents the instinctive effort that nature exerts to avoid the extinction of the species.

The inclination to beget descendants is a premonition of the physical dissolution which awaits the individual, and the act itself is always more or less exhaustive to the male, and its results, if too oft repeated, or at periods of brief duration, are disastrous to the female. Notwithstanding these tendencies and results, yet reproduction is the expression of the fullness of physical life and vital force. Its inclination and desire is both normal and necessary, yet it should always be remembered that the increased activity of the reproductive system is secured at the cost of diminished force throughout the remainder of the entire body. No man during the period of the exercise of his reproductive nature is as strong intellectually, physically, or in any other department of his entire being, as during the periods when he is sexually self-con[Pg 81]tained, or is resting in the calm of sexual repose.

The urge to have children is a reminder of the physical decline that awaits each person, and the act itself is often quite draining for the male. If it happens too frequently or in quick succession, it can be detrimental to the female. Despite these tendencies and outcomes, reproduction represents the peak of physical life and energy. This desire is both normal and essential, but it's important to remember that increased activity in the reproductive system comes at the expense of overall energy in the rest of the body. No man is as strong intellectually, physically, or in any other aspect of his life while engaging in reproductive activities as he is during times of sexual self-control or when he's resting peacefully.

In the lower forms of life the reproductive flame bursts out into one all-consuming conflagration, exhausting to the male and eventually terminating with fatal results to the female. In man this fire burns with a more steady glow, bursting forth occasionally into more intense activity, and then subsiding, but always vitalizing and giving energy to all his powers, and no man can fan this flame into a continuous conflagration without suffering the most ruinous results and disastrous consequences.

In lower forms of life, the reproductive drive erupts into an all-consuming fire, exhausting the male and eventually leading to fatal outcomes for the female. In humans, this fire burns with a steadier glow, flaring up occasionally into more intense activity and then settling down, but it always energizes and revitalizes all of a man's abilities. No man can turn this flame into a continuous blaze without facing the most destructive results and dire consequences.

Among the lower forms of life the reproductive inclination of the male recurs at those periods when his mate is in the condition necessary to the procreation of the species. After the act of procreation, the sexual passion in both subsides, and the reproductive function is not again called into exercise until after the intervening weeks or months of repose have passed and nature again responds to the necessity of procreation for the purpose of perpetuating the species. Where the periods of ovulation and fecundity recur at brief intervals in the female, the reproductive nature of the male is in a more continuous state of activity, so that a fruitful union may be secured when the reproductive nature of the female is in readiness; but this by no means indicates any physical necessity or reasonable justification for the constant or even frequent exercise of the reproductive function.

Among lower life forms, a male's urge to reproduce happens when his female partner is ready to conceive. After mating, the sexual desire in both partners diminishes, and the reproductive process isn't activated again until several weeks or months have passed, when nature calls for reproduction to continue the species. In cases where a female's ovulation and fertility occur at short intervals, the male's reproductive drive is more consistently active, allowing for a successful mating when the female is ready. However, this doesn’t imply any physical need or logical reason for constant or frequent reproductive activity.

Strict continence is not injurious, either to the[Pg 82] unmarried or to the married. Thousands of married men and women are suffering from the effects of excessive sexual indulgence. They drain their physical powers, weaken the intellect, and fail to attain the happiness and grand results which would otherwise be possible to them. All who are familiar with the care of plants know that the best way to preserve their bloom and beauty is to restrain the consummation of the reproductive act. Prevent them from going to seed and the flowers continue to bloom. Remove the anther from the lily and the flower will not fade so soon by several hours. The same is true with the insects. Where they can be prevented from losing their vitalizing sperm they live on beyond the limits of others of their kind who are left free to exercise the privilege of reproduction. An instance is given of a butterfly which continued to live for over two years in a hot-house, while the ordinary period of life to those which exercise the reproductive power complete and end their career in a few short days.

Strict self-control isn't harmful for either the unmarried or the married. Thousands of married men and women are struggling with the consequences of overindulgence in sex. They exhaust their physical strength, weaken their minds, and miss out on the happiness and amazing outcomes that could otherwise be theirs. Anyone who knows how to care for plants understands that the best way to keep them blooming and beautiful is to limit their reproductive process. If you stop them from going to seed, the flowers keep blooming. If you remove the anther from the lily, the flower will last several hours longer. The same applies to insects. When they're prevented from losing their vital sperm, they live longer than those of their kind who are free to reproduce. For example, there's a butterfly that lived for over two years in a greenhouse, while the typical lifespan of those that fully reproduce is just a few short days.

There are times when married people should observe the strictest continence. A state of partial or total intoxication is a just cause for either a husband or wife to deny to the other all marital privileges. Conception at such a time is more than likely to result in the production of idiots or epileptics. The cases on record are too numerous and too well authenticated to admit of doubt in regard to the terrible consequences of conception under such circumstances.[Pg 83]

There are times when married couples should practice complete restraint. Being partially or fully intoxicated is a valid reason for either partner to refuse all marital privileges to the other. Getting pregnant during such a time is likely to lead to the birth of children with disabilities or epilepsy. The documented cases are too many and too well confirmed to cast any doubt on the awful results of conception in such situations.[Pg 83]

During sickness or convalescence procreation is not only highly injurious to the individual, but at any period before the physical powers have fully regained their most perfect state of health the transmission of life is more than likely to result in the begetting of children who are to be afflicted with mental debility and physical infirmities which shall be so inwrought into the very fibre of their being as to continue through their entire life, utterly beyond the reach of all remedial agents.

During illness or recovery, having children is not only very harmful to the individual, but any time before the body has completely restored its optimal health, the act of creating life is likely to lead to the birth of children who may suffer from mental weakness and physical disabilities that will be ingrained in their very essence, affecting them throughout their entire lives, beyond the help of any treatments.

We can conceive of no greater wrong that a parent could ignorantly or wilfully inflict upon his unborn offspring than to call them into being at a period when they cannot escape the inheritance of lifelong physical or mental infirmity.

We can imagine no greater injustice that a parent could unknowingly or deliberately impose on their unborn child than to bring them into the world at a time when they cannot avoid inheriting lifelong physical or mental disabilities.

Abstinence from the marital relation in some instances becomes almost absolutely imperative. In the intimate relations of married life the exercise of such self-restraint is not always easy, but it is nevertheless possible. There are well-authenticated instances in the lives of missionaries who have married and immediately gone to climates where conception during the period of acclimation would have resulted fatally who have maintained absolute continence for a period of months and years. We know of an instance where, because of a diseased condition known as vaginismus, the marital relation was attended with such discomfort and pain that for a few years it was only indulged at long intervals, and then totally abandoned, and strict[Pg 84] continence maintained for a period of twenty years and more.

Abstinence from sexual relations in marriage can be crucial in certain situations. In the close bonds of married life, practicing such self-control isn't always easy, but it's still achievable. There are well-documented cases of missionaries who married and immediately went to places where becoming pregnant during the adjustment period would have been life-threatening, yet they maintained complete abstinence for months and even years. One example involves a person with a condition called vaginismus, where intimacy was so uncomfortable and painful that it was only engaged in occasionally for a few years, then completely stopped, allowing for strict[Pg 84] abstinence for over twenty years.

Nor is strict continence in married life without illustrations of those who have voluntarily chosen it. There are some married people in this country, more numerous than some suppose, who have adopted the idea of uniform continence, and who call the reproductive nature into exercise for the purpose of procreation only, and who assert that the maintenance of continence secures not only greater strength and better health, but greater happiness also.

Nor is strict abstinence in married life without examples of those who have deliberately chosen it. There are some married people in this country, more numerous than some might think, who have embraced the idea of consistent abstinence and engage in sexual activity only for the purpose of having children. They claim that maintaining abstinence leads not only to greater strength and better health but also to greater happiness.


CHAPTER VI.

MARITAL MODERATION.

The foundation of marriage and of home can only be built permanently upon the abiding nature of love. Like our own being, love has a twofold nature. Its spiritual part is immortal and unchangeable; its physical part is temporary in purpose and continuance, and is liable to perversion and debasement. The physical may even be permitted to overshadow, debase and quite obliterate the spiritual. In its natural unfolding and manifestation love is very much like the plant that is rooted in the earth while it flowers in the sunlight. The earth and the roots in their relation to each other are essential and even indispensable to the production of the flower, and the flower is alike indispensable to the perpetuity of the plant.

The foundation of marriage and home can only be built on the lasting nature of love. Like ourselves, love has two sides. Its spiritual aspect is eternal and unchanging, while its physical aspect is temporary in purpose and duration, and is prone to corruption and decline. The physical aspect can even overshadow, degrade, and entirely erase the spiritual. In its natural development and expression, love resembles a plant that is grounded in the earth while blooming in the sunlight. The earth and the roots are essential and even necessary for the flower to grow, and the flower is equally crucial for the survival of the plant.

So love has its physical and its spiritual nature. Love is rooted in that unconscious law of our nature which God has enacted for the preservation and perpetuity of human life. "Nothing but a spurious delicacy or an ignorance of facts can prevent our full recognition that love looks to marriage, and marriage to offspring, as a natural sequence." While this is its objective purpose, it yet serves other high ends.[Pg 86]

So love has both a physical and a spiritual aspect. Love is grounded in the unconscious law of our nature that God established for the preservation and continuation of human life. "Only a false sense of delicacy or a lack of understanding about the facts can stop us from fully recognizing that love seeks marriage, and marriage seeks children, as a natural progression." While this is its primary purpose, it also serves other significant goals.[Pg 86]

In its twofold nature love ennobles its possessor. It makes him responsive to the love of God upon the one hand and to the love of mankind upon the other. It gives purpose and zest to life, brightens the intellect, quickens the imagination, inspires purpose and imparts physical power. It beautifies and glorifies the individual, and makes him worthy of redemption. "When it is pure and true it unites two souls in bonds of happiness which never chafe, and which become stronger as time passes and the passions become chaste and subdued."

In its dual nature, love elevates those who experience it. It makes them open to God's love on one hand and to the love of others on the other. It brings meaning and excitement to life, brightens the mind, energizes creativity, inspires goals, and provides physical strength. It enhances and uplifts the individual, making them deserving of redemption. "When it is pure and genuine, it connects two souls in a happiness that never strains, and grows stronger as time passes and passions become more refined and restrained."

But there is a monstrosity that is known by the same name. The proper name of this monster is lust. It imparts neither beauty nor life. It is like the parasite plant which is not naturally rooted in the earth, but entwines itself about the growing beauty of other plant-life, only to suck out the life-currents from the stem which has lifted it out of the dirt into the sunlight, in return for which its only charity is that it spreads its stolen verdure over the death which it has itself created.

But there’s a monstrosity that goes by the same name. The proper name for this monster is lust. It brings neither beauty nor life. It’s like a parasitic plant that isn’t rooted in the earth but wraps itself around the growing beauty of other plants, only to drain the life from the stem that has lifted it out of the dirt and into the sunlight. In return, its only gift is that it spreads its stolen green over the death it has caused.

The question of the proper relation of husband and wife in marriage is a difficult one. It is worthy of a volume. The various phases of the subject which crowd upon our mind exceed the limits of a brief chapter. We only regret that we are restricted by limitations beyond which we cannot pass at this present time. Suffice it to say that there are three principal theories with regard to the marital relation. Briefly stated they are as follows:[Pg 87]

The question of the appropriate relationship between husband and wife in marriage is a complex one. It deserves a whole book. The different aspects of the topic that come to mind go beyond what we can cover in a short chapter. We only wish we weren't limited by constraints that we can't go past right now. It's enough to say that there are three main theories about the marital relationship. In short, they are as follows:[Pg 87]

The first theory assumes that unlimited sexual gratification is essential to the comfort and well-being of the male, and that, whether married or unmarried, he is to seek its gratification, whether lawfully or unlawfully, wherever and whenever he can find an opportunity. It is scarcely necessary to say that this theory is not worthy of the consideration of fair-minded and decent people. It is contrary to the laws of nature, to the laws of God, and to the laws of all civilized nations. The theory is conceived and born of lust. It has been fathered and fostered by the delusions of ignorant people. It is the child of lust and the parent of sensuality. It is disproven by experience and is condemned by the best medical authority in this country and throughout the world. For a discussion of this subject and medical testimony we must refer the reader to "What a Young Man Ought to Know," from page 56 to 67.

The first theory suggests that unlimited sexual gratification is crucial for a man's comfort and well-being. Whether married or single, he should pursue it legally or illegally, whenever he gets the chance. It's hardly necessary to say that this theory isn't worthy of consideration by fair-minded and decent people. It goes against the laws of nature, the laws of God, and the laws of all civilized nations. This theory is born from lust. It has been supported and encouraged by the misconceptions of ignorant people. It is the offspring of lust and the source of sensuality. It has been disproven by experience and is rejected by the top medical authorities in this country and around the world. For a discussion on this topic and medical evidence, we refer the reader to "What a Young Man Ought to Know," from pages 56 to 67.

The second theory is that in married life the reproductive function is not to be exercised except for the purpose of procreation. While this theory is the opposite extreme of the first, yet it differs from the first in that it has some very strong arguments in its favor. While the results of our investigations do not enable us to assert that it is the true theory, we are yet prepared to say that it is worthy of thoughtful consideration. If it is possible for married people to maintain absolute continence for a period of six months or a year, it must be conceded that it would be possible to extend that time to a[Pg 88] longer period. The maintenance of this theory would require such a degree of self-denial and self-control as is far beyond the possession of the great mass of humanity. We fear, also, that there are but few, even if they entered upon a life union with such thought and intention, who would be able to maintain their principles for any considerable period.

The second theory is that in married life, the reproductive function should only be used for the purpose of having children. While this theory is the complete opposite of the first, it has some very strong arguments supporting it. Although our research doesn’t allow us to claim it as the true theory, we believe it deserves serious consideration. If it’s possible for married couples to completely refrain from sex for six months or a year, we must acknowledge that they could likely extend that time even longer. Adopting this theory would require a level of self-denial and self-control that is far beyond what most people possess. We also worry that there are very few who, even if they start their life together with such intentions, would be able to stick to their principles for any significant time.

The third theory, and that which many men and women who are eminent for their learning and religious life hold to be the correct theory, is, that while no one has a right to enter upon the marriage relation with the fixed purpose of evading the duty of parenthood, yet that procreation is not the only high and holy purpose which God has had in view in establishing the marriage relation, but that the act of sexual congress may be indulged in between husband and wife for the purpose of expressing their mutual affection, augmenting their personal endearments, and for quickening those affections and tender feelings which are calculated to render home the place of blessing and good which God intended.

The third theory, which many knowledgeable and religious individuals support as the correct one, is that while no one should enter into marriage with the fixed intention of avoiding the responsibilities of parenthood, procreation is not the only important purpose that God had in mind when creating the institution of marriage. Instead, sexual intimacy between husband and wife can also be enjoyed as a way to express their mutual love, enhance their closeness, and strengthen the feelings of affection and tenderness that make home the blessed and good place that God intended it to be.

It is held by those who advocate this theory that while it would be possible to restrict the exercise of the reproductive functions to the single purpose of procreation, yet in the great majority of instances the effort to live by that theory would generally result in marital unhappiness.

It is believed by supporters of this theory that, although it could be possible to limit reproductive functions solely to procreation, in most cases, trying to follow that theory would typically lead to marital unhappiness.

It cannot be successfully denied that the perpetuity of the race is the great purpose which God has had in view in instituting marriage.[Pg 89] Procreation and the raising up of a family of children cannot under ordinary circumstances be ignored or evaded without serious physical, intellectual, moral and social results. But neither are mutual love, affection, comfort, consolation and support to be ignored without disastrous results. Due regard is not only to be paid to the perpetuity of the race, but to the well-being and perpetuity of the individual. In his book on the Ethics of Marriage Dr. H. F. Pomeroy says: "Physiologically considered, there can be but one end in marriage—the breeding and rearing of a family; but there are various means which conduce to this end by preserving the mental and physical tone and balance of husband and wife, and cultivating in them a union of regard and affection, without which any mere outward union can be but a travesty of marriage. How far it may be proper to exercise the secondary object of marriage it is impossible to state in any general rule, because individual cases vary so greatly; but it is safe to say that the phase of marriage which is so closely allied to its primary object has an important bearing on the health, happiness and harmony of husband and wife, and so may properly be exercised by those who have a proper regard for the primary end of marriage, even when its relation to this end be but indirect, provided such exercise of it be kept within bounds of mental and physical health."

It’s undeniable that the continuation of the human race is the main purpose God had in mind when creating marriage.[Pg 89] The act of having children and raising a family cannot be overlooked or avoided without serious physical, intellectual, moral, and social consequences. However, mutual love, affection, comfort, support, and consolation are equally important to avoid disastrous outcomes. We need to consider not only the survival of the human race but also the well-being of each individual. In his book on the Ethics of Marriage, Dr. H. F. Pomeroy states: "From a physiological perspective, there is only one goal in marriage—the breeding and raising of a family; but there are various ways to achieve this by maintaining the mental and physical well-being of both partners, and fostering a bond of love and affection, without which any mere formal union can only be a mockery of marriage. It’s difficult to establish a general rule for how much to focus on the secondary aspects of marriage because individual circumstances differ greatly; however, it's safe to say that the aspects of marriage closely related to its primary goal significantly impact the health, happiness, and harmony of both partners. Therefore, it can be appropriately explored by those who respect the main purpose of marriage, even when its connection to this purpose is indirect, as long as this exploration remains within the limits of mental and physical health."

Personally we are strongly inclined to the acceptance of this third theory. But it must be[Pg 90] granted that the acceptance of this theory is attended with many considerations which have their serious perplexities. Perhaps the most constant and most serious difficulty is the question involved in the danger of too frequent conception. To regulate this matter many persons resort to criminal methods, which are nothing short of murder: many resort to expedients which are often unsatisfactory in their result and also ruinous to the health or well-being of either the husband or wife, or both, while others adopt less disastrous but equally unsatisfactory and unreliable measures. Some of these methods are criminal, others are injurious, still others uncertain, and all alike unsatisfactory.

We personally lean strongly towards accepting this third theory. However, it must be[Pg 90] acknowledged that embracing this theory comes with many considerations that present serious challenges. Perhaps the most persistent and serious issue is the risk associated with too frequent conception. To manage this, many people turn to illegal methods that are essentially akin to murder; others seek solutions that often yield unsatisfactory outcomes and can be harmful to the health or well-being of the husband or wife, or both. Meanwhile, some choose less catastrophic but equally unreliable and inadequate approaches. Some of these methods are illegal, others are harmful, some are uncertain, and all are ultimately unsatisfactory.

Desirable as it might be to enter upon a full discussion of the various questions involved in the consideration of this phase of the subject, yet because of the general prevalence of vicious living and impure thinking we deem it best not to enter upon a discussion which might effect more evil in some pure-minded persons, by suggestion, than it could accomplish in the reforming of the evil practices of the vicious, and we therefore pass this phase of the subject in silence.

As appealing as it might be to dive into a full discussion of the various questions related to this aspect of the topic, we believe it’s better not to engage in a conversation that could potentially harm some well-meaning individuals through suggestion, rather than help reform the harmful behaviors of others. Therefore, we will skip this part of the subject entirely.

The greatest happiness in married life can never be obtained except by the observance of marital moderation. Just what is moderation in the exercise of the reproductive function in married life it would be very difficult to determine and define. What might be moderation for one man, or for one woman, might be the most extravagant excess for another. The husband[Pg 91] may feel inclined to grant himself such indulgence as would entitle him to be regarded as considerate and as within the bounds of moderation when considered in relation to himself personally, and yet the privileges which he grants himself might be most immoderate and most ruinous for his wife; or in some instances the reverse might be the case—indulgence which might be moderate for his wife might be most excessive for him. No husband or wife can determine what is moderation in their own personal instance until they have duly considered the obligation which they are under to the other, and the effect of the relation, not simply upon himself or herself, but upon the other as well. The principle which must govern every husband or wife who desires to be moderate in the marital relation, is, not to seek to grant themselves the utmost indulgence which will enable them to abide within the limits of individual safety only, but so persistently to exercise the spirit of self-control and self-mastery, that they may attain to those best results which are only possible to those who do not call the reproductive function into exercise at too frequent intervals. No man or woman who exercises the reproductive function upon the return of every slight inclination can realize that greatest pleasure and satisfaction which are always possible, but so seldom experienced. The wise husband and the wise wife will not seek that utmost indulgence which brings them to the limit of endurance, but will constantly desire to be governed[Pg 92] by such restraint and moderation as will secure for them the most blessed results. To say nothing of morality, intelligence and culture have their province in the exercise of the privileges which are possible to married people. The reproductive sense, like the sense of hunger, or any other sense, is to be brought under the dominion of intelligence and refinement. In the government of our other senses there are laws which no intelligent man will be willing to violate. He will not eat the first food upon which he chances to come, simply because he is hungry. He requires that it shall be of the proper kind, and properly prepared. The worm will seize upon its food regardless of its character, and without any reference to other considerations than that of satisfying its own inclination. Wild beasts will contend over a bone, but man is lifted by intelligence to a higher realm. His food must be of a proper kind, it must be properly prepared, and is to be eaten at appointed intervals. He will not eat that which belongs to another. He desires his food served with proper regard to cleanliness and esthetic taste. He beautifies his table, makes his eating the occasion of social fellowship, takes into consideration the wants and needs of others. If we thus regulate the appetite, why should we not, as intelligent beings, regulate the exercise of the reproductive sense? Why should we yield, like animals, to the first inclination? Why should we despoil ourselves or our companion of the God-given sense of modesty? Why should we[Pg 93] be willing to indulge ourselves to such an extent as to injure the one individual whom we love and prize above all others upon earth? Let reason, refinement and the moral sense have their proper sway in the exercise of the reproductive function and the sexual instinct, the same as in the exercise of our other senses.

The greatest happiness in married life can never be achieved without practicing moderation. Figuring out what moderation means in the context of marriage, especially regarding reproductive matters, is quite challenging. What might be considered moderate for one person could seem excessive to another. A husband may think he's being reasonable and considerate by indulging in certain behaviors that he finds acceptable for himself, but those same behaviors could be completely inappropriate and harmful to his wife. Conversely, what might feel moderate for his wife could be too much for him. No husband or wife can truly define moderation for themselves until they take into account their obligations to each other and the effect their actions have not just on themselves but on their partner as well. The guiding principle for any husband or wife who wants to maintain moderation in their relationship should be to refrain from seeking the maximum indulgence that only keeps them safe individually. Instead, they should consistently practice self-control and restraint to achieve the best possible outcomes, which can only happen when they don’t engage in reproductive activities too frequently. No person who acts on every slight urge can experience the deepest joy and satisfaction that are often elusive. A wise husband and wife won’t chase extreme indulgence that pushes them to their limits; instead, they will aim for the kind of restraint that delivers the most fulfilling results. Beyond morality, our intelligence and culture play a role in how married couples exercise their rights. Just like hunger, our sexual impulses should be guided by intelligence and refinement. When it comes to our other senses, there are rules that no sensible person would break. We don’t just eat whatever is available to satisfy our hunger; we expect food to be of good quality and properly prepared. Animals might grab any food without consideration, but humans are elevated by their intelligence. We choose our food carefully, eat at appropriate times, and respect the belongings of others. We prefer our meals to be clean and aesthetically pleasing, often turning the act of eating into a social occasion that considers the needs of others. If we manage our appetites this way, why shouldn’t we, as intelligent beings, also regulate our sexual impulses? Why should we, like animals, give in to every urge? Why maintain an attitude that disregards the God-given sense of modesty? Why partake in indulgences that could harm the one person we love and value most? Let reason, refinement, and our moral compass guide us in our sexual actions just as they do in other areas of our lives.

In a chapter entitled "Rules for Married Persons; or, Matrimonial Chastity," Jeremy Taylor gives the following advice: "In their permissions and license the husband and wife must be sure to observe the order of nature and the ends of God. He is an ill husband that uses his wife as a man treats a harlot, having no other end but pleasure. Concerning which our best rule is that although in this, as in eating and drinking, there is an appetite to be satisfied, which cannot be done without pleasing that desire; yet, since that desire and satisfaction were intended by nature for other ends, they should never be separated from those ends, but always be joined with all or one of these ends: with the desire for children; to avoid fornication; or to lighten and ease the cares and sadness of household affairs; or to endear each other; but never with a purpose, either in act or desire, to separate the sensuality from these ends which hallow it."

In a chapter titled "Rules for Married People; or, Matrimonial Chastity," Jeremy Taylor offers the following advice: "In their permissions and freedoms, both the husband and wife must be mindful of natural order and the purposes of God. A husband is not treating his wife properly if he behaves like a man with a prostitute, focusing only on pleasure. Our best guideline is that, just like with eating and drinking, there is a desire to be fulfilled, which requires pleasing that appetite; however, since that desire and satisfaction were meant by nature for other purposes, they should never be separated from those purposes. Instead, they should always be connected to one or more of these aims: the desire for children; to prevent infidelity; to alleviate the burdens and sadness of home life; or to strengthen the bond between each other, but never with the intention, whether in action or desire, to disconnect sensuality from these sacred purposes."

It is well also to know what the women have to say upon this subject. Mrs. E. B. Duffey, in her excellent little book, entitled "What Women Should Know," says: "One is often led to wonder if a large class of men are not simply[Pg 94] brutes, in all that concerns the physical relations of marriage. Women do not readily make confidential complaints to other women against their husbands. So that when a word—an incomplete sentence smothered before it is fully uttered—is spoken, it must be wrung from the lips by extreme marital brutality. That many women so suffer at the hands of husbands, brutal in this respect, though kind in all others, does not admit of doubt. Disinclination, weariness, ill health, none of these things will excuse a woman from participation in the marital act when her husband's inclinations lead him to require it of her. Strange that, while the law recognizes rape as a crime punishable by severe penalties, there is no recognition whatever of a married woman's right to a control over her own person. I do not know that the most brutal conduct in this respect, if there was no other reason for complaint, would be considered by the courts as a sufficient cause for divorce. Yet any one can readily imagine that it is possible for a man of strong sensual nature, who places no curb upon his appetite, to render the life of the delicate, pure-minded woman, intolerable to the last degree. As mutual affection is the heavenly bond of marriage, so mutual pleasure should also sanction its earthly bond. Love should be prepared to give as well as to receive—to be self-denying when self-denial is required of it. I cannot believe that a wife who sees her husband thus considerate will be unreasonable in her refusal."[Pg 95]

It’s also important to consider what women think about this issue. Mrs. E. B. Duffey, in her great little book called "What Women Should Know," says: "One often wonders if a large number of men are not simply [Pg 94] brutes when it comes to the physical aspects of marriage. Women don’t easily confide in other women about their husbands' behavior. So when a word—an unfinished thought stopped before it's fully expressed—is spoken, it must come out because of extreme marital brutality. There’s no doubt that many women suffer at the hands of husbands who are brutal in this way, even if they are kind otherwise. Disinterest, fatigue, poor health—none of these things excuse a woman from partaking in the marital act when her husband's desires demand it of her. It's strange that while the law recognizes rape as a serious crime with harsh penalties, there is no acknowledgment of a married woman's right to have control over her own body. I doubt that the most brutal behavior in this area, if there were no other grounds for complaint, would be seen by the courts as adequate reason for divorce. Yet anyone can easily imagine that a man with a strong, unchecked sexual appetite can make the life of a sensitive, pure-minded woman completely unbearable. Just as mutual affection is the sacred bond of marriage, mutual pleasure should also support its earthly bond. Love should be willing to give as well as to receive—being selfless when selflessness is needed. I can’t believe that a wife who sees her husband being considerate will be unreasonable in her refusal."[Pg 95]

But the anxious and honest inquirer still asks, How often may I indulge myself? No general answer can be given to this question. Due reference must always be had to the individual who asks it, and wise counsel would not be possible unless every consideration of the physical condition and health of the wife were allowed their proper place in the solution of the question. What might be moderation for one might be the most destructive excess for another. Some men are strong, have great powers of endurance, and do not know that they have a nerve in their body. Others are very delicate, nervous and dyspeptic. Some physicians are inclined to limit the relation to once a month; upon the other hand, all who have given attention to this subject have learned of instances of excess which do not fall at all short of conjugal debauchery. It might be said that no man of average health, physical power and intellectual acumen can exceed the bounds of once a week without at least being in danger of having entered upon a life of excess both for himself and for his wife.

But the anxious and honest inquirer still asks, How often can I indulge myself? No general answer can be given to this question. It's important to consider the individual asking it, and wise advice wouldn't be possible unless every aspect of the wife's physical condition and health is taken into account in finding an answer. What may be moderation for one person could be an extreme excess for another. Some men are strong, have great endurance, and may not realize they have any limits. Others are very delicate, anxious, and have digestive issues. Some doctors might suggest limiting the relationship to once a month; however, those who have studied this topic are aware of cases of excess that clearly represent serious problems. It could be argued that no man of average health, physical strength, and mental sharpness can go beyond once a week without at least risking a life of excess for both himself and his wife.

Each young husband must determine for himself and his wife when they have reached the limit of moderation, and their greatest happiness, physically, intellectually and maritally, will be secured when they have erred upon the side of moderation rather than upon the side of excess. Do not wait until you have the pronounced effects of backache, lassitude, giddiness, dimness of sight, noises in the ears, numbness[Pg 96] of fingers and paralysis. Note your own condition the next day very carefully. If you observe a lack of normal, physical power, a loss of intellectual quickness or mental grip, if you are sensitive and irritable, if you are less kind and considerate of your wife, if you are morose and less companionable, or in any way fall below your best standard of excellence, it would be well for you to think seriously and proceed cautiously.

Each young husband needs to figure out for himself and his wife when they’ve reached their limit for moderation. Their greatest happiness—physically, intellectually, and in their marriage—will come from erring on the side of moderation instead of excess. Don’t wait until you start feeling pronounced effects like back pain, fatigue, dizziness, blurry vision, ringing in the ears, numbness in your fingers, or paralysis. Pay close attention to how you feel the next day. If you notice a drop in your normal physical strength, a decrease in mental sharpness, if you’re more sensitive and irritable, if you’re less kind and considerate toward your wife, if you feel gloomy and less social, or if you fall short of your usual standard of excellence in any way, it’s wise to reflect seriously and proceed with caution.

Nor should your observation and study only have reference to yourself. Note carefully the physical, mental and social condition of your wife the day following. You are not only to be the conservator of your own strength, but her protector as well. When you pass the limit of the greatest safety, either for yourself or your wife, you are likely to sacrifice both safety and happiness. Another says: "Even taking the low and sordid ground of selfishly getting the most out of this life, it is wise to abide by temperance and duty in the marital relation, for thus, and only thus, may we derive the most possible satisfaction from it. We may drink the nectar as we will; nature lets us hold the cup, but she mixes it herself; if we drink too deeply she adds water, then gall, and finally, it may be, deadly poison."

Your observation and study shouldn’t just focus on yourself. Pay close attention to the physical, mental, and social condition of your wife the next day. You need to not only take care of your own strength but also protect hers. If you go beyond the safest limits for either yourself or your wife, you risk losing both safety and happiness. Another person said, “Even if you take a selfish approach to getting the most out of life, it’s wise to stick to moderation and responsibility in marriage because that’s the only way to really enjoy it. We can drink from the cup of life as we please; nature allows us to hold it, but she mixes the drink herself. If we drink too much, she dilutes it, then adds bitterness, and eventually, it may turn into something poisonous.”

Sexual excess is one of the most destructive forms of intemperance, degrading alike the body, mind and morals. We have heard of men who have called the reproductive organs into very frequent exercise, but they have[Pg 97] always been men who were noted for nothing except their passion. Everything they eat and drink seems devoted to the maintenance of their sexual nature. They may have enjoyed intellectual advantages, and some of them may even be enrolled as professional men, but every other faculty is dwarfed and weakened that they may foster and fatten their passions. They are eminent in nothing, save as samples of beastliness. Why allow a single passion, the controlling organ of which lies at the very bottom and lowest part of the brain, to usurp and control the entire man, dominate over every other faculty, and render the physical, intellectual and moral faculties and religious sentiments only attendants and slaves!

Sexual excess is one of the most destructive forms of indulgence, degrading the body, mind, and morals. We've heard of men who have frequently used their reproductive organs, but they are always men known only for their passions. Everything they consume seems aimed at supporting their sexual desires. They may have had intellectual advantages, and some of them might even be recognized as professionals, but every other ability is stunted and weakened so they can nurture and indulge their passions. They excel in nothing, except as examples of bestiality. Why allow a single passion, the control center of which lies at the very bottom and lowest part of the brain, to take over and dominate a person, controlling every other ability and reducing physical, intellectual, moral, and spiritual faculties to mere attendants and slaves!

No thoughtful or considerate husband can afford to disrespect the wishes of his wife. He should reverently consider her inclination as well as his own desire. Throughout the entire range of animal life the condition and inclination of the female fixes and determines the approaches of her mate. Woman is the only female whose condition is disregarded, whose wishes are ignored, whose rights are trampled under foot, and sometimes even denied any right over her own body. Where a woman is in health, and is the loving, devoted wife which she should be, there is not much danger that she will be too strict with the idol of her heart. And, save in exceptional cases, there is but little danger that the wife will be too lenient with her husband. If the wrongs which wives[Pg 98] suffer because of the unbridled passions of inconsiderate husbands were publicly known, every virtuous and pure-minded man and woman would be inclined to take up arms for the mitigation of woman's wrongs, and the liberation of this great army of slaves who suffer in silence the servitude from which they have no hope of deliverance except by death.

No caring or considerate husband can afford to ignore his wife's wishes. He should seriously consider what she wants as well as his own desires. In the animal kingdom, the condition and desires of the female dictate how her mate approaches her. Women are the only females whose needs are overlooked, whose wishes are disregarded, whose rights are trampled on, and sometimes even denied any control over their own bodies. When a woman is healthy and is the loving, devoted wife she should be, there’s little risk that she will be too demanding of the one she loves. And, except in rare cases, there’s also little risk that a wife will be too lenient with her husband. If the injustices that wives suffer because of the unchecked passions of thoughtless husbands were publicly known, every virtuous and pure-minded man and woman would likely rally to fight for the rights of women and to free this large group of people who endure their silent suffering with no hope of escape except through death.

If you wish to attain your greatest usefulness in life, avoid the undue use of foods which are calculated to stimulate the reproductive nature. Use eggs and oysters, pepper and condiments with reasonable moderation. Do not simulate impure thinking by theatre-going, the reading of salacious books, participation in the round dance, the presence of nude statuary and suggestive pictures; avoid such bodily exposure and postures as mar the modesty of both man and woman; keep reasonable and regular hours, and remember that all these things tend only to enervate and exhaust your wife and to rob and wrong you of the best there is in store for you.

If you want to be most effective in life, be careful not to overindulge in foods that excite your sexual nature. Enjoy eggs and oysters, pepper, and spices in moderation. Don't engage in impure thoughts by going to inappropriate shows, reading scandalous books, joining in suggestive dances, or surrounding yourself with nude statues and provocative images; steer clear of any exposure or postures that compromise the modesty of both men and women. Stick to regular hours, and remember that these activities can drain your energy and exhaust your partner, ultimately preventing you from experiencing the best that life has to offer.

Marital moderation is most easily secured and maintained where married persons occupy separate beds; and, indeed, in many instances such conditions exist as render separate rooms not only desirable, but essential. Mrs. E. B. Duffey, a good and reliable authority on this and related subjects, says: "If the husband cannot properly control his amorous propensities they had better by all means occupy separate beds and different apartments, with a lock on the[Pg 99] communicating door, the key in the wife's possession."

Marital moderation is easiest to achieve and maintain when married couples sleep in separate beds; in fact, there are often circumstances that make separate rooms not just preferable, but necessary. Mrs. E. B. Duffey, a respected authority on this topic and similar issues, says: "If the husband can't manage his romantic urges, it's definitely better for them to sleep in separate beds and have different rooms, with a lock on the[Pg 99] door between them, and the key kept by the wife."

Dr. Dio Lewis, in his book entitled "Chastity," when writing of the excesses which lead to estrangement in married life, says: "A very large part of this wretchedness and perilous excess is the natural result of our system of sleeping in the same bed. It is the most ingenious of all possible devices to stimulate and inflame the carnal passion. No bed is large enough for two persons. If brides only knew the great risk they run of losing the most precious of all earthly possessions—the love of their husbands—they would struggle as resolutely to secure extreme temperance after marriage as they do to maintain complete abstinence before the ceremony. The best means to this end is the separate bed."

Dr. Dio Lewis, in his book titled "Chastity," when discussing the issues that can cause distance in married life, states: "A significant portion of this distress and risky behavior is a direct result of our practice of sharing a bed. It is the most clever way to ignite and escalate physical desire. No bed is spacious enough for two people. If brides truly understood the serious danger they face of losing the most valuable of all earthly treasures—the love of their husbands—they would fight just as hard to ensure strong self-control after marriage as they do to maintain total abstinence before the wedding. The best way to achieve this is by having separate beds."

Many persons recognize the injurious effects which result from two persons sleeping in the same bed, but generally they fear that if they were to occupy adjoining apartments, or even separate beds in the same room, it might lead to local gossip or the suspicion of a lack of harmony or affection. But without informing the patient of the purpose, physicians oftentimes advise a period of absence, either for the husband or for the wife, in order to secure the beneficial result which could be had in their own homes if they would only consent to sleep apart.

Many people are aware of the negative effects that come from two people sharing a bed, but they often worry that if they had separate rooms or even slept in different beds in the same room, it might cause gossip or make others think there's a problem with their relationship. However, without explaining the reason, doctors frequently suggest that either the husband or wife spend some time apart to achieve the positive outcome that could be achieved at home if they'd just agree to sleep separately.

Where either the husband or the wife suffers from excessive amative propensities upon the part of the other, great benefit would be derived[Pg 100] from avoiding the sexual excitement which comes daily by the twice-repeated exposure of undressing and dressing in each other's presence, and being in close bodily contact for a period of one-third of the hours of each day, for four months in a year, and for twenty years to those who have lived together for a period of sixty years.

Where either the husband or the wife has excessive romantic urges because of the other, a lot of benefit could come from avoiding the sexual excitement that occurs daily through undressing and dressing in front of each other, as well as being in close contact for about a third of each day, for four months a year, and for twenty years for those who have been together for sixty years.[Pg 100]

There are also the questions of adequate ventilation, the absorption of the exhalations of each other's bodies, the weaker being injured by the fact that the stronger is likely to absorb vital and nervous force, and also the equalization of magnetic elements, which, when diverse in quantity and quality, augment physical attraction and personal affection. Where there is a disparity of physical condition, or a considerable difference of age, or either person is suffering from the effects of any disease which contaminates the atmosphere, separate beds, and oftentimes separate apartments, are essential.

There are also questions about proper ventilation, the absorption of each other's breath, the weaker person being harmed by the fact that the stronger might absorb vital and emotional energy, and also the balancing of magnetic elements, which, when different in amount and quality, heighten physical attraction and personal connection. When there's a difference in physical condition, a significant age gap, or if either person is dealing with a disease that affects the air quality, separate beds, and often separate rooms, are necessary.

Physical culture is an important matter for consideration in connection with the subject of moderation within the marriage relation. All forms of outdoor recreation which are calculated to produce the best physical condition—dumb-bells, Indian-clubs, exercises of various kinds, frequent bathing, followed by vigorous rubbing of the external surface of the body—are matters of great importance in this connection. If the thought is permitted to centre upon the sexual relation the blood will be di[Pg 101]verted from the brain and the muscles, and the entire man will suffer because of the depletion and drain which comes as an inevitable result. Let the thought be turned to other considerations, and by exercise send the blood into all parts of the body, and let the vigorous rubbing after the bath produce a healthy glow, and contribute to good health and to the attainment and maintenance of a well-rounded manhood.

Physical fitness is an important topic to consider in relation to moderation within marriage. All forms of outdoor activities that promote optimal physical health—like dumbbells, Indian clubs, various exercises, frequent bathing, followed by stimulating rubbing of the skin—are crucial in this context. If too much focus is placed on the sexual aspect, blood will be diverted from the brain and muscles, leading to negative effects on the entire person due to the resulting depletion. It's better to shift focus to other interests and engage in exercise to circulate blood throughout the body, while the vigorous rubbing after a bath creates a healthy glow and supports good health and the pursuit and maintenance of a well-rounded manhood.

Not only is physical culture essential for the husband, but it is equally important for the wife, who is even more likely to underestimate its value and neglect it altogether, unless she is encouraged to physical effort and bodily exercise by the husband.

Not only is physical fitness important for the husband, but it’s just as vital for the wife, who is often more likely to undervalue it and overlook it completely unless the husband encourages her to engage in physical activity and exercise.

Remember that you and your wife owe it not only to yourselves in securing present happiness, but owe it also to your children and to your own future good that you shall possess the best physical results which are possible to you; for what you are, that your children will become after you. If they inherit either physical or mental weakness, the parents who are to care for them will be compelled to pay for their own sad mistakes in vigils and self-denials from which they could have delivered themselves by timely forethought and sufficient care.

Remember that you and your wife owe it not just to yourselves for your current happiness, but also to your children and your future well-being to achieve the best physical results possible; because what you are now, your children will become later. If they inherit any physical or mental weaknesses, the parents responsible for them will have to deal with the consequences of their own mistakes through sleepless nights and sacrifices that could have been avoided with proper planning and care.

The proper mastery of your sexual nature will be worth all it costs. A strong sexual nature is not a curse, but a blessing. God made no mistake in making man what he is; but he never intended that the lower nature should rule over the higher and better nature of man. The[Pg 102] struggle is worth all it costs, and the man who gains the mastery grows more manly, more noble, while the man who is overcome becomes less manly, and if lust be given the sway he becomes increasingly beastly.

Mastering your sexual nature is worth every effort. A strong sexual nature isn’t a curse; it’s a blessing. God made no mistakes in creating man; however, He did not intend for our lower nature to dominate our higher and better self. The[Pg 102] struggle is worth the cost, and a man who achieves mastery becomes more manly and noble, while a man who is defeated becomes less manly, and if he gives in to lust, he becomes increasingly like a beast.

If you gain and keep the mastery, the struggle will not be endless. With that modified manhood which comes with the hush of the reproductive nature at about middle life, there will come a growing peacefulness and manly poise which will be marked by an increasing strength of intellectual and moral power which will make possible to you in the closing years of your life acquisitions and achievements which were quite impossible in the earlier years.

If you achieve and maintain mastery, the struggle won’t go on forever. With the change in masculinity that happens when the reproductive drive quiets down around middle age, you’ll experience a growing sense of peace and confidence that will be accompanied by a stronger intellectual and moral power. This will enable you to accomplish things in your later years that would have been completely out of reach in your younger years.


CHAPTER VII.

DEFECTS AND DEFICIENCIES.

The approach to new relations and untried conditions often awakens in the minds of the unmarried apprehensions which are entitled at least to a brief consideration at this place.

The approach to new relationships and unfamiliar situations often stirs up concerns in the minds of single individuals that deserve at least a moment of reflection here.

Many young men who are looking forward to marriage spend months of anxious forethought lest there should exist in them some physical incapacity which might unfit them for the new relation into which they are about to enter. Such fears, in the vast majority of cases, are wholly groundless, and in the exceptional instances the insufficiency is generally more seeming than real. Where the previous life has been correct and virtuous there is not more than one case in a thousand where any serious embarrassment may reasonably be expected to arise.

Many young men who are looking forward to marriage spend months worrying that they might have some physical issue that could make them unsuitable for the new relationship they are about to enter. Most of these fears are completely unfounded, and in the rare cases where there is a problem, it’s usually more apparent than actual. If their previous life has been decent and moral, there's typically only one case in a thousand where any serious concerns should reasonably be expected to come up.

Because of a lack of nourishing food, the neglect of exercise and physical culture, excessive overwork, dissipation and late hours, many young men suffer from sexual weakness and become apprehensive of impotence, and when they contemplate marriage resort to stimulants, or the most foolish expedients, for regaining or testing their sexual power. No more foolish or destructive course could be pursued. The right[Pg 104] thing to do is to inquire into the influences which have produced the debility, remove the cause, resort to such indoor and out-of-door exercises as will tend to the best development of the physical man, restore health, increase the ordinary powers of endurance, and then the apprehensions will all disappear.

Due to a lack of nutritious food, neglect of exercise and physical fitness, excessive work, indulgence, and late nights, many young men struggle with sexual weakness and become worried about impotence. When they think about getting married, they often turn to stimulants or the most irrational methods to try to regain or test their sexual abilities. There’s no more unwise or destructive path they could take. The right thing to do is to look into the factors that caused the weakness, eliminate the source, engage in indoor and outdoor exercises that promote proper physical development, restore health, boost overall endurance, and then all those worries will fade away.

Physical weakness and general debility, when emphasized by the nervous strain of the ordinary marriage occasion and followed by the excitement inseparable from the earliest marital relation, often result in premature sexual loss and temporary departure of erectile power, and beget apprehension, and even awaken fear.

Physical weakness and general fatigue, when intensified by the nervous tension of a typical wedding and followed by the excitement that comes with the start of marriage, often lead to early sexual dysfunction and temporary loss of erectile function, causing anxiety and even fear.

But even where such instances do occur, they are usually only temporary. Actual impotence during a period of manhood is very rare. Where there is ground for just apprehension the young man should always consult an intelligent and conscientious physician. If he suggests either stimulants or association with dissolute women in order to test your powers, in order to strengthen the reproductive system, accept this as a sufficient evidence of his incompetency, and immorality as well, and betake yourself to another physician. The world has passed on to that period when a practitioner who is so ignorant as to give such dangerous and destructive advice is unworthy of the confidence of the people upon whose credulity and purses he preys, and also of the respect of decent people, or a place among intelligent physicians.[Pg 105]

But even when such cases happen, they are usually just temporary. Actual impotence during a time of manhood is very rare. If there's a valid concern, the young man should always consult a knowledgeable and caring doctor. If he recommends either stimulants or associating with immoral women to test your abilities or strengthen the reproductive system, take this as a clear sign of his incompetence and lack of ethics, and find another doctor. The world has moved on to a time when a practitioner who is so uninformed as to give such dangerous and harmful advice isn’t worthy of the trust of those he preys on for money, nor deserving of respect from decent people or a place among knowledgeable physicians.[Pg 105]

Any young man who has several months remaining before marriage can easily remove all groundless apprehensions by such a full observance of the laws of health, due exercise in the open air, the use of dumb-bells, Indian-clubs and home Exercisers as will develop his physical powers and enable him to come to a just apprehension of his real condition.

Any young man with several months left before marriage can easily eliminate any unfounded fears by fully following health guidelines, getting exercise outdoors, and using dumbbells, Indian clubs, and home exercise equipment to improve his physical strength and better understand his actual condition.

Nor need a young man who has selected a bride in good health and in appropriate physical proportions to himself feel any anxieties concerning the deficiencies or deformities in her. Medical authorities affirm that the obstacles to the consummation of marriage are far less frequent in females than in males. The greatest barriers to a proper entrance upon marriage upon the part of men are found in excessive solitary and social vice, and especially in the results which attend and follow venereal diseases, all of which exert a debilitating effect upon the masculine function.

A young man who chooses a healthy bride with suitable physical proportions doesn't need to worry about any flaws or deformities she may have. Medical experts say that issues preventing marriage are much less common in women than in men. The biggest obstacles for men entering marriage are excessive solitary and social vices, particularly the consequences that come from sexually transmitted diseases, all of which have a weakening effect on male function.

Where a young husband will carefully observe the suggestions made in a later chapter concerning the treatment of his bride, especially from the first day they are married, he will successfully pass any dangers, none of which are likely to appear in the subsequent weeks or years. But where these suggestions are ignored he may be guilty of doing such violence to the sense of propriety of the bride, or so injure her physically, as to make himself the heir of greatest unhappiness for the remainder of his married life. His thought should not only be concern[Pg 106]ing himself, but especially concerning the deliverance of his bride from a life of invalidism and wretchedness. It seems to us that no wrong which one might do in his ignorance could bring greater remorse and regret than the knowledge of the fact that, without knowing it, he had destroyed both the health and the happiness of one who otherwise would have been a joy and blessing throughout his entire life.

Where a young husband pays close attention to the advice given in a later chapter about how to treat his bride, especially from their very first day of marriage, he will navigate any potential troubles successfully, and these issues are unlikely to arise in the weeks or years that follow. However, if he ignores this advice, he may seriously violate his bride's sense of dignity or harm her physically, leading to a lifetime of unhappiness in his marriage. His focus should not only be on himself but especially on ensuring his bride is spared from a life of suffering and poor health. It seems to us that no mistake made out of ignorance could lead to greater regret and sorrow than realizing that, unknowingly, he had ruined both the health and happiness of someone who could have been a source of joy and blessing for his entire life.

In medical books designed for the profession much space is properly given to the consideration of defects, deformities and monstrosities; but in a book like this, designed to meet the needs of the ordinary individual, such rare and exceptional instances need not be included. Marked abnormal conditions are not often seen in the practice of an ordinary physician, and it is therefore wrong to yield to the tendency to arouse unnecessary apprehensions which can serve no useful purpose, but which often do result in injury to the reader.

In medical books meant for professionals, a lot of attention is rightly given to defects, deformities, and unusual conditions. However, in a book like this, aimed at everyday people, there’s no need to include such rare and exceptional cases. Significant abnormalities aren’t commonly encountered by a regular doctor, so it’s not helpful to create unnecessary fears that serve no real purpose and can harm the reader instead.

Where there exists sufficient evidence of any serious difficulty, or physical incapacity, the young man should not fail to consult an experienced physician of known honor and Christian integrity. Such a man will not betray your confidence, and will be able to afford any necessary relief, and to give judicious counsel and timely assistance. Never, under any circumstances, apply to the quack, the shark or the charlatan, whose only purpose will be to frighten and alarm in order that they may the more successfully extort money from the unin[Pg 107]formed, in return for which they can expect nothing better than impoverishment and humiliation, instead of wise counsel and skillful treatment.

Where there’s enough evidence of any serious issue or physical limitation, the young man should definitely consult a qualified doctor known for their integrity and moral character. Such a person won’t betray your trust, will be able to provide necessary relief, and offer wise advice and timely help. Never, under any circumstances, go to a quack, a con artist, or a fraud, whose only goal is to scare you into paying them money, leaving you with nothing but financial strain and embarrassment, rather than sound advice and effective treatment.

But we must at this point speak of the kindred subject of the apprehensions which expectant young husbands often feel with reference to the qualification of the intended bride. As we have already said, deformities and actual incapacity are less frequent among women than among men. Women who know themselves to be suffering from falling of the womb, or other serious womb trouble, should not contemplate marriage. By becoming a wife a woman with serious womb trouble only aggravates her condition, renders herself and her husband miserable—does the very thing which will retard her recovery, and is even in danger of rendering herself wholly incurable. Women who know themselves to be suffering from such ills and ailments should always seek competent medical assistance, cut their corset-strings, devote themselves faithfully to physical culture, and defer their marriage until they have restored these parts to a state of health.

But we need to talk about the related issue of the worries that expectant young husbands often have about the qualifications of their future brides. As we mentioned earlier, deformities and actual incapacity are less common in women than in men. Women who are aware that they are suffering from issues like falling of the womb or other serious reproductive problems should not consider marriage. Marrying while dealing with serious womb issues only worsens the situation, makes both her and her husband unhappy, hinders her recovery, and even puts her in danger of becoming completely incurable. Women who know they are experiencing these problems should always seek qualified medical help, loosen their corsets, commit to physical fitness, and postpone their marriage until they have restored their health.

Where either married or unmarried women suffer from female weakness they are generally loath to seek competent medical relief. We have known of married women who have suffered for many years the results of injuries received during confinement who could easily have been not only relieved, but permanently cured, had they applied to a competent physician, disclosed[Pg 108] their real condition, and submitted to intelligent treatment.

Where married or unmarried women experience health issues related to female weaknesses, they often hesitate to seek proper medical help. We've known married women who have endured for years the aftermath of injuries sustained during childbirth, injuries that could have been not only eased but fully cured if they had consulted a qualified doctor, revealed[Pg 108] their true condition, and followed sensible treatment.

The same is true of young, married people. Where any slight incapacity or obstacle is found in their new relation they should promptly seek some competent medical advisers, and not permit weeks to elapse, until, on account of their neglect, that which could easily have been remedied in the beginning has become the source of embarrassment, estrangement, or, possibly, some permanent nervous affection. Where it is the wife who needs medical attention, her modest nature may cause her to shrink from examination or counsel, but when she remembers that medical specialists are constantly consulted upon kindred subjects there should be no hesitation in seeking their counsel and assistance. The utmost frankness on the part of the patient should always enable the physician intelligently to understand her condition, while that native female modesty which is the attestation of her virtue will be both her adornment and her defense.

The same applies to young married couples. If they encounter any minor issues or obstacles in their new relationship, they should quickly seek out qualified medical professionals and not let weeks pass, allowing problems that could have easily been fixed at the start to turn into sources of embarrassment, distance, or even some lasting nerve issues. If the wife needs medical help, her modesty might make her hesitant about examinations or advice, but she should remember that medical specialists are regularly consulted on related topics; there should be no hesitation in reaching out for their support. Being completely honest with the doctor will help them understand her situation better, and her natural modesty, which reflects her virtue, will serve as both her charm and her safeguard.

With the increasing number of well-equipped doctors, intending brides in increasing numbers are wisely seeking such counsel as will assure them that there exists no impediment to the formation of a happy marriage. Were this course universally followed it would remove much mental anxiety, possible perplexity, and even marital infelicity. It would disclose to those who have serious womb trouble their unfitness to become wives and mothers, and thus[Pg 109] enable the unfortunate ones to escape the unhappiness and misery which marriage is sure to bring both to them and to their husbands. It is always infinitely better to know the facts before it is too late to escape the wretchedness which the marital relation is sure to entail; and then, where no infirmities or barriers exist, the knowledge of that fact will bring an assurance which will be worth many times the embarrassment and expense involved. This is the legitimate, reliable and proper way for every intending bride to secure such information, and the only way to which a virtuous and pure-minded woman could yield her consent.

With the growing number of well-trained doctors, more and more brides-to-be are wisely seeking advice to ensure there’s no reason to worry about having a happy marriage. If everyone took this approach, it would reduce a lot of mental stress, potential confusion, and even marital unhappiness. It would reveal to those who have serious reproductive issues that they aren't ready to become wives and mothers, allowing those unfortunate individuals to avoid the sadness and misery that marriage is likely to bring to both them and their husbands. It’s always far better to know the truth before it’s too late to avoid the suffering that marriage can lead to; and when there are no health issues or obstacles, knowing that will provide a reassurance worth far more than the embarrassment and costs involved. This is the legitimate, trustworthy, and appropriate way for every bride-to-be to gain such information, and the only way a virtuous and pure-minded woman would agree to proceed.


CHAPTER VIII.

PURITY AND FIDELITY.

The happiness of the individual and of the family often depends upon the influence and effects of very plain and everyday considerations, and in closing Part First there are a few things which we desire to impress upon the mind of the young husband which to some may seem unimportant, but which, in fact, are very important, and your failure duly to observe any one of which may result in your home, as it has in thousands of others, in the blighting of happiness, in personal injury, in injustice and wrong to wife and children, and even in the wrecking of the home itself.

The happiness of an individual and their family often relies on the impact of simple, everyday matters. As we wrap up Part First, there are a few points we want to emphasize to young husbands. These might seem trivial to some, but they are actually very significant. Ignoring any of these can lead to the destruction of happiness in your home, personal harm, injustice, and wrong done to your wife and children, and even the collapse of the home itself.

See to it that you have a pure breath. You have no right to defile your body, or render your breath impure or offensive in any way, and especially by the use of tobacco and liquor. You have no more right to defile the air which your wife is to breathe than you have to defile the water which she is to drink, or to sprinkle some disagreeable or loathsome substance upon the food which she is to eat; and the magnitude of this wrong would be increased in proportion to the extent to which it adds to her discomfort or injures her health. To say the least, the use of tobacco is a selfish habit, and if you desire to be just and equal, you should be willing to ap[Pg 111]portion to your wife for some personal gratification of her own an amount equal to the money which you daily or annually expend upon yourself for the use of tobacco. The tobacco habit is an expensive one. It not only costs an expenditure of a large amount of money annually, but results almost universally in nervousness and irritability. If you use tobacco in any form and will observe yourself closely, noting the difference between the periods when you omit its use and when, upon the other hand, you do not use it, you will be convinced that it tends very perceptibly to render you sensitive, irritable and uncompanionable. But this is not all. It so permeates your entire being as seriously to affect the children which you beget and bring into the world.

Make sure you have fresh breath. You shouldn't spoil your body or make your breath unpleasant in any way, especially by using tobacco and alcohol. You have no more right to pollute the air your wife breathes than you do to contaminate the water she drinks, or to throw something disgusting on the food she eats; and the seriousness of this wrong increases with how much it causes her discomfort or harms her health. At the very least, using tobacco is a selfish habit, and if you want to be fair, you should be willing to give your wife an amount equal to what you spend on tobacco for your own personal enjoyment. The tobacco habit is costly. It not only drains a significant amount of money each year but also usually leads to nervousness and irritability. If you use tobacco in any form and pay attention to yourself closely, noticing the differences between when you stop using it and when you do, you’ll see that it noticeably makes you more sensitive, irritable, and less enjoyable to be around. But that’s not all. It seeps into every part of you and can seriously affect the children you bring into the world.

No man, we care not how indifferent he may be to the effect upon himself or to the comfort of his wife, can be so insensible to the effect of his own life in determining the character, happiness and destiny of his children, as to be indifferent to the consideration of the results of the use of tobacco upon his descendants. You may often have noticed that men and women of good physique, and apparently enjoying the best of health, become the parents of weak, nervous and sickly children. It would be both unjust and untrue to assert that in every such instance the result could be accurately traced to the use of tobacco, but the evidence that tobacco is the real cause can be established in at least some instances. Many a child of inferior physical[Pg 112] and intellectual capacity has been defrauded of its larger endowment because the father who begot it was addicted to the use of tobacco. If the teachings of the most reliable medical authority upon this subject are to be accepted, it would be possible to select from any community the finest physical and intellectual specimens of men and women and let them both become addicted to the use of tobacco, and then marry among themselves, and in a single generation or two their descendants would fall far below the physical and intellectual average of the children of other parents who do not use the weed in any form.

No person, no matter how indifferent he may be to the impact on himself or the comfort of his wife, can be so detached from the ramifications of his own life in shaping the character, happiness, and future of his children that he overlooks the effects of tobacco use on his offspring. You may have often noticed that individuals with good health and strong physiques sometimes become parents of weak, nervous, and sickly children. It would be both unfair and inaccurate to claim that in every instance, the result can be directly linked to tobacco use, but there is evidence that tobacco can be a contributing factor in at least some cases. Many a child with lesser physical and intellectual abilities has been deprived of greater potential because the father who conceived them was addicted to tobacco. If we accept the insights of the most dependable medical experts on this topic, it would be possible to select the healthiest and most intellectually gifted individuals from any community, have them both become addicted to tobacco, and then marry each other. In just one or two generations, their descendants would likely fall significantly below the physical and intellectual average of children from families who don't use tobacco in any form.

The subject of intemperance we have fully treated in the preceding volumes of this series, and we must refer the reader to them in that place, especially the book addressed to young men. Liquor is not only a curse to the individual who uses it, but it wrecks the health and happiness of the wife and curses their yet unborn children. It not only affects their morals, health and intelligence, but where the children are not born imbeciles or idiots they often inherit the appetite for drink and become depraved and drunken to the third and fourth generation. The great minds which have shone in the intellectual firmament of the past, or brighten and bless the present generation, were not begotten of parents who were given to excess and dissipation. Many a man whose descendants might have been lustrous and happy, owe their enfeebled minds and blighted happiness[Pg 113] to the indiscretion and excess of the parents who brought them into the world. When God designed to raise up a Samson he said to the mother: "Thou shalt conceive and bear a son. Now, therefore, beware, I pray thee, and drink not wine, nor strong drink, and eat not any unclean thing, for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb, and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hands of the Philistines." The same laws of heredity exist to-day, and they cannot be ignored without imperiling the health and the happiness of those who are to come after us.

The topic of excessive drinking has been thoroughly covered in the earlier volumes of this series, and we encourage readers to refer to those, particularly the book for young men. Alcohol is not just harmful to the individual who consumes it; it also damages the health and happiness of spouses and curses their future children. It impacts their morals, health, and intelligence, and even if the children are not born with disabilities, they often inherit a craving for alcohol, leading them to become corrupt and drunk, affecting generations to come. The great thinkers and innovators of the past, as well as those who enlighten and enrich our current generation, did not come from parents who indulged in excess and wasteful habits. Many individuals whose potential descendants could have been brilliant and joyful find their weakened minds and lost happiness due to the recklessness and overindulgence of their parents. When God intended to raise a great leader, He told the mother: "You will conceive and give birth to a son. So, please be careful, do not drink wine or strong drink, and avoid any unclean food, for the child will be a Nazarite to God from the womb and will start to rescue Israel from the Philistines." The same principles of heredity apply today, and we cannot overlook them without putting at risk the health and happiness of future generations.

If you love your wife or value your own happiness, let us urge upon you the duty of fidelity. This is a duty that you owe to your wife in the same proportion that she owes fidelity to you. God has made but one standard of integrity and virtue, and this is enjoined alike upon men and women. God says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery." He does not say women shall not, or that men shall not. There is no discrimination between men and women.

If you love your wife or care about your own happiness, we urge you to be faithful. This is a commitment you owe to your wife just as she owes you loyalty. God has set one standard for integrity and virtue, which applies to both men and women. God says, "You shall not commit adultery." He does not specify that only women or only men should not. There is no distinction between men and women.

The word "thou" means the person who reads or hears—the person addressed, whether male or female, young or old, king or peasant, high or low, learned or unlearned, rich or poor, white or black, bond or free. It is alike binding upon all, without abatement or modification, regardless of sex, race, class or condition, and without reference to time, place or circumstance.

The word "you" means the person who reads or hears—the person being addressed, whether male or female, young or old, king or peasant, high or low, educated or uneducated, rich or poor, white or Black, enslaved or free. It is equally binding on all, without exception or alteration, regardless of sex, race, class, or situation, and without considering time, place, or circumstance.

What is true of this commandment is also true of them all. God has not made one set of[Pg 114] laws for men and another for women. Neither does He excuse or condone in men what He condemns in women. He holds both alike answerable to the same unerring standards of social and moral purity. Whatever may be the attitude of those who entertain lax moral views, society has no right to condone in man what it condemns in woman. What is wrong for her is wrong for him, and infidelity or unfaithfulness is a crime in either.

What applies to this commandment also applies to all of them. God hasn't created one set of laws for men and another for women. He doesn't excuse or accept in men what He condemns in women. He expects both to be held to the same unchanging standards of social and moral purity. Regardless of the views of those who have loose moral standards, society has no right to accept in men what it condemns in women. What is wrong for her is wrong for him, and cheating or unfaithfulness is a wrongdoing for either.

In addition to the moral wrong there is also the great physical risk. The unmarried man who leads a life of vice, to some extent, at least, only imperils himself; but the married man imperils his wife and his children in addition. The most reputable physicians can bear ample testimony to the frequency that women apply to them for relief from aches and ills suffered by themselves and their children, the nature and source of which these wives do not suspect, and the terrible and ineradicable nature of which they are totally ignorant. Such is the terrible punishment inflicted by guilty husbands and fathers upon their innocent and unsuspecting wives and children. Hundreds of cases might be named; but let us give a single illustration, narrated to us by one of the most eminent physicians of this country, whose name and residence are not essential, as somewhat similar instances come frequently to the attention of physicians.

In addition to the moral wrong, there is also a significant physical risk. The unmarried man who lives a life of vice mostly puts himself in danger; however, the married man also puts his wife and children at risk. The most respected doctors can attest to how often women come to them seeking relief from pains and ailments that they and their children experience, with no clue about the real cause, and completely unaware of the serious and lasting effects. This is the terrible toll that guilty husbands and fathers inflict on their innocent and unsuspecting wives and children. There could be countless examples, but let’s share a single story that was told to us by one of the leading doctors in the country, whose identity and location aren’t important, as similar situations often come to the attention of physicians.

A young man of a wealthy family, who had been a couple of times treated for gonorrhœa, married a beautiful bride in a prominent and[Pg 115] wealthy family. A couple of weeks after his marriage he came to the physician with one of those small sores called a chancre, which is the unmistakable evidence of the presence of syphilis. Careful investigation disclosed the fact that at the time of his marriage he had a concealed chancre, and which, although unknown to himself, had nevertheless been communicated to his bride. The treatment was prompt and of the most skillful character, but serious results were speedily manifest. The primary sore was followed by its secondary results. Sores appeared upon the different parts of her body, the mucous membrane was affected, and every hair upon the entire person of the wife fell out. She did not have left so much as eyebrows, eyelashes, or even hairs in her nose, and, as in some instances after a serious attack of typhoid fever, months were necessary before the hair started again to grow. When it did grow it returned coarse and wiry, and when about an inch or inch-and-a-half long it very much resembled goat's hair. It could not be combed—nothing could be done with it. She looked like a fright—was an astonishment to her friends and an embarrassment to herself.

A young man from a wealthy family, who had been treated a couple of times for gonorrhea, married a beautiful bride from another prominent and wealthy family. A few weeks after his marriage, he went to the doctor with a small sore called a chancre, which is a clear sign of syphilis. A thorough investigation revealed that at the time of his marriage, he had an undisclosed chancre, which, although he was unaware of it, he had transmitted to his bride. The treatment was quick and expertly administered, but serious consequences soon became apparent. The initial sore was followed by secondary effects. Sores appeared on various parts of her body, the mucous membranes were affected, and every hair on her entire body fell out. She was left with no eyebrows, eyelashes, or even hairs in her nose, and similar to cases after a severe bout of typhoid fever, it took months before her hair began to grow back. When it finally did grow, it came back coarse and wiry, and when it was about an inch or an inch and a half long, it resembled goat hair. It couldn't be combed—there was nothing that could be done with it. She looked terrible, astonished her friends, and felt embarrassed herself.

With no knowledge of the terrible nature of her disease, it was difficult to induce her to persist through months for a period of at least two years in taking her medicines. At intervals during the years that followed she gave premature birth to children, which, whether born dead, or living for a day or two, were masses[Pg 116] of disease and corruption. After four or five of such miscarriages she finally gave birth to a child that at the time of its coming into the world seemed healthy. Not long after the birth of this child the family removed from the community, and the physician was unable to note the effects of the inheritance which no child under such circumstances could possibly escape.

Without knowing how serious her illness was, it was hard to get her to keep taking her medicine for months at a time, for at least two years. Over the next several years, she had premature births, and the babies, whether stillborn or living for just a day or two, were just masses[Pg 116] of illness and decay. After four or five of these miscarriages, she finally gave birth to a baby that, at the time of birth, seemed healthy. Shortly after this child's birth, the family moved away from the community, and the doctor couldn’t observe the effects of the inheritance that no child in such situations could possibly avoid.

While this case was impressive, it was by no means exceptional. We have learned of instances where persons of unbounded wealth have communicated the syphilis to their wives, and all the skill which wealth could command has not been able to eradicate the disease or deliver the unhappy sufferers from the consequences of the criminal unfaithfulness of the guilty husband.

While this case was impressive, it was not unique. We've heard of situations where extremely wealthy individuals have transmitted syphilis to their wives, and all the resources money could buy haven't been able to eliminate the disease or free the unfortunate victims from the consequences of the guilty husband's betrayal.

But there are consequences less manifest to the eye, but no less deadly and destructive in effect, which come to the innocent and unoffending wife as the result of the vice and unfaithfulness of her husband. One of the most eminent physicians of Philadelphia, in conversation with the author, assured us that the effects of gonorrhœa, or clap, which are suffered by the wives is something alarming. Even where the husband has not communicated the disease while it was active in himself, but where the intending husband may have supposed that he was entirely cured of gonorrhœa for a period of two years or more, he may yet communicate the lurking remnants of that disease to the vagina, the effects soon extending up[Pg 117] into the womb, out through the Fallopian tubes, oftentimes reaching the ovaries and necessitating their removal, making it necessary to unsex the woman in order to save her from the wretchedness and misery which are inseparable from the death which they so often preface.

But there are consequences that aren’t immediately visible but are just as deadly and harmful, impacting the innocent and unsuspecting wife due to her husband’s vice and unfaithfulness. One of the top doctors in Philadelphia, in a discussion with the author, told us that the effects of gonorrhea, or clap, suffered by wives are quite alarming. Even if the husband hasn’t transmitted the disease while it was active in himself, a husband who believed he was completely cured of gonorrhea for two years or more can still pass on lingering traces of that disease to the vagina. The effects soon spread up[Pg 117] into the womb, through the Fallopian tubes, often reaching the ovaries and requiring their removal, which means unsexing the woman in order to save her from the pain and misery that often precede death.

An eminent practitioner in New York, when addressing the last annual convention of the State Medical Society, called special attention to the prevalent effects which wives suffer as the result of gonorrhœa contracted by their husbands, and said that a few years ago it was his custom, when women with certain symptoms came to him for consultation, to request a private interview with the husbands in order that he might discover whether past unfaithfulness since marriage or a life of vice prior to marriage was not the cause of the trouble. He said that latterly, however, the best medical authorities were agreed that it was not necessary to subject the husband to this trying inquisition, for the symptoms and conditions which established the correctness of the diagnosis were a sufficient proof of the source of all the wife's troubles. Thousands of husbands who bemoan the fact that their wives are complete physical wrecks are themselves the authors of the ruin which has been wrought.

An esteemed doctor in New York, while speaking at the latest annual convention of the State Medical Society, highlighted the common effects that wives experience due to gonorrhea contracted from their husbands. He mentioned that a few years ago, when women with certain symptoms came to him for advice, he would request a private meeting with their husbands to find out if past infidelity since marriage or a history of promiscuity before marriage was the cause of the issues. However, he noted that recently, top medical experts agreed that it wasn't necessary to put the husband through this difficult questioning, as the symptoms and conditions that confirmed the diagnosis were enough proof of where all the wife's problems originated. Thousands of husbands who lament that their wives are complete physical wrecks are, in fact, the ones responsible for the devastation caused.

Nor is this all; fathers have often carried the disease home, and by the use of towels have communicated the virus of the disease to the eyes of their children or some member of the family, from which total blindness has come as[Pg 118] the inevitable result. We learned of one instance in which the father communicated the disease to his entire family, including several small children, who took their bath in the same tub, but in different water, after the father had bathed.

Nor is this everything; fathers have often brought the disease home, and through the use of towels, have spread the virus to the eyes of their children or other family members, leading to complete blindness as[Pg 118] the unavoidable outcome. We learned of one case where the father passed the disease to his entire family, including several small children, who took their bath in the same tub, but with different water, after the father had bathed.

For a fuller unfolding of the awful consequences of the diseases which accompany vice we must refer the reader to the book "What a Young Man Ought to Know," from page 93 to 153. All that has there been said in favor of a chaste and pure life can be enjoined with even greater emphasis on those who are married.

For a complete understanding of the terrible effects of the diseases that come with vice, we must direct the reader to the book "What a Young Man Ought to Know," from page 93 to 153. Everything discussed there in support of a chaste and pure life can be emphasized even more strongly for those who are married.

But what if a guilty husband and father could escape the dangers of disease, the detection by his wife, and could even escape the lashings of his own guilty conscience, which will smite with sevenfold force as the years advance, yet how terrible for him to remember that transmission is the law of heredity, and that a licentious father is the legitimate predecessor of a vicious child. Is it comforting for a father to anticipate with certainty that all the vices which have corrupted his life, blighted his home and debased his moral nature are to be transmitted to his offspring? How shall he, in the after years, when his own children go wrong, be comforted with the thought that what they are he was, and that what he desires them to be is what he himself should have been. Julia, the daughter of Augustus, was as bad as her father, and gave birth to a child of equally strong propensities. These are the influences which have not only de[Pg 119]stroyed the happiness of homes, but have wrecked the destinies of nations. By the love you bear your wife, by the love which you have for your children which are and which are to be, by the respect which you have for yourself and the fear that you should have for your God, by all that is sacred in marriage and in home, by all that is desired in this world and in the world to come, we plead with you, for your present, future and eternal good, that you maintain your marriage vow inviolate.

But what if a guilty husband and father could escape the dangers of disease, avoid detection by his wife, and even escape the torment of his own guilty conscience, which will hit him harder as the years go by? How terrible for him to remember that inheritance is the law of genetics, and that an immoral father is the rightful predecessor of a corrupt child. Is it comforting for a father to expect with certainty that all the vices that have ruined his life, shattered his home, and degraded his morals will be passed on to his children? How will he find solace in later years, when his own kids go astray, knowing that what they are, he also was, and that what he wants them to be is what he himself should have been? Julia, the daughter of Augustus, was as immoral as her father and gave birth to a child with equally strong tendencies. These are the influences that have not only destroyed the happiness of homes but have also wrecked the destinies of nations. By the love you have for your wife, by the love you have for your children—both those who are here and those yet to come—by the respect you have for yourself and the fear you should have for your God, by everything sacred in marriage and in the home, by everything is desired in this world and the next, we urge you, for your present, future, and eternal well-being, to keep your marriage vow unbroken.


Part II

Section II

CONCERNING HIS WIFE

ABOUT HIS WIFE


CHAPTER IX.

THE BRIDE.

We now come, in Part Second, to consider what a young husband ought to know concerning his wife. In this chapter we desire to speak of what he ought to know of his wife while she is yet a bride. As soon as the minister has pronounced them husband and wife she is as truly the wife as she is later on, and we only use the word "bride" in that commonly accepted sense which refers to the earlier days and weeks of her married life.

We now move to Part Two, where we will discuss what a young husband should understand about his wife. In this chapter, we want to talk about what he should know while she is still a bride. As soon as the minister declares them husband and wife, she is just as much his wife as she will ever be; we only use the term "bride" in the common sense that refers to the early days and weeks of their marriage.

We cannot enter upon the thought of this chapter without being conscious of the fact that doubtless thousands of young men will turn to these pages for information concerning the marriage relation who have themselves not yet entered the marriage bond. There is nothing in this book which a young man of mature years may not properly know. Indeed, every young man of mature years ought to possess the information which this volume contains. But we are also conscious of the fact that many young men who are engaged to marry, or are already married, will turn to these pages expecting to find here some means of deliverance from the results of mistakes which, in his lack of knowledge, he has already[Pg 124] made. As we enter upon the duty of telling the young husband what he ought to know concerning his bride, we feel the importance of saying that the information which he gathers from these pages will be but partial, unless he has the information concerning woman contained in the preceding volume of this series.

We can’t start this chapter without recognizing that a lot of young men will be looking through these pages for information about marriage, even if they haven’t married yet. There’s nothing in this book that a mature young man shouldn’t know. In fact, every mature young man should understand the information in this volume. However, we’re also aware that many young men who are engaged or already married will come here seeking ways to fix mistakes they’ve made due to their lack of knowledge. As we begin to discuss what the young husband should know about his bride, it’s important to mention that the information he gathers from these pages will be incomplete unless he also has the information about women included in the previous volume of this series.

In telling a young husband what he ought to know concerning his bride, it is especially important that he should first understand the nature and purpose of the reproductive organs, the right relation of man to woman, and the correct teachings concerning marriage; and for the unfolding of these subjects we must refer the reader to Chapters VII., VIII. and IX. in "What a Young Man Ought to Know."

In explaining to a young husband what he needs to know about his wife, it's crucial that he first understands the nature and purpose of reproductive organs, the proper relationship between man and woman, and the correct teachings about marriage. For a deeper exploration of these topics, we direct the reader to Chapters VII, VIII, and IX in "What a Young Man Ought to Know."

In addition to what we have said in Chapter III. of this volume, in reference to the physical, intellectual, moral and sexual differences between men and women, it is necessary now to call the attention of young husbands to the fact that in woman there exists less sexual desire and satisfaction than in man.

In addition to what we have said in Chapter III. of this volume, regarding the physical, intellectual, moral, and sexual differences between men and women, it’s important to point out to young husbands that women generally have less sexual desire and satisfaction than men.

Perhaps of the great majority of women it would be true to say that they are largely devoid of sexual pleasure. In regard to the intensity of the sexual instinct, women might with some accuracy be divided into three classes. The first class, which includes the larger number, is generally supposed to be quite devoid of sexual inclination and feeling. The condition of this class may be accounted for in three different ways. In some it is the result of ill health,[Pg 125] produced by lack of sufficient exercise and outdoor recreation; because of excessive social demands, late hours, indigestible food, the enervating and exhaustive effects of novel-reading, and especially also of tight lacing, with all of its sad effects in debilitating and displacing the sexual and vital organs which are located in the pelvic and abdominal cavities. If women could but realize what pleasures might be theirs, if they would only live in a rational way, there would be but few men and women left to ask the question whether marriage is a failure.

It might be accurate to say that most women lack sexual pleasure. When it comes to the intensity of sexual desire, women could be categorized into three groups. The first group, which includes the majority, is generally believed to have little to no sexual interest or feelings. The situation for this group can be explained in three ways. For some, it results from poor health caused by a lack of enough exercise and outdoor activities; excessive social obligations, late nights, unhealthy food, the draining effects of reading novels, and especially tight lacing, which has damaging effects on and displaces the sexual and vital organs located in the pelvic and abdominal areas. If women could understand the pleasures that could be theirs by living a healthier lifestyle, there would be few people left to question whether marriage is a failure.[Pg 125]

Another cause of sexual indifference in a large class is found in the fact that some regard the existence of passion in women as derogatory to their sex. There are wives who pride themselves upon their indifference to the conjugal relation. They speak of their coldness and indifference as though it were a virtue, instead of a defect. The fact is, they are simply proud of their deficiency. With this, as with the proper exercise of every other bodily function, God has associated satisfaction and pleasure. The reception of food, which is to sustain and nourish life, is attended with pleasure. Seeing and hearing are attended with pleasure. The exercise of all of our bodily senses is designed to bring us pleasure and a sense of satisfaction. The exercise of the reproductive function is attended with great cost physically, financially, and in every way, and God has meant that to this great sacrifice man shall be prompted by a pleasure which shall be correspondingly great.[Pg 126] God has designed that the act of reproduction should be recognized both as a duty and a pleasure, and the feeling which prompts to the perpetuation of the species is as proper as that which inclines the individual to the preservation of his own life or health. There can be no doubt but that in conception God has assigned an important office to inclination and sensation, for while authorities are agreed that conception may take place without attendant emotion upon the part of the female, yet the result is more assured, and the product of such a union is of a higher standard when both persons participate in the pleasures which invite to its consummation. This sexual indifference upon the part of the wife may sometimes be largely due to the fact that she and her husband are illy mated, physically, morally or socially; or because differences of education and divergence of views have produced that lack of harmony which has, at least measurably, blighted the affections.

Another reason for sexual indifference in a large group is that some people view passion in women as shameful. There are wives who take pride in being indifferent to their marital relationship. They talk about their coldness and lack of interest as if it were a virtue rather than a flaw. The truth is, they are simply proud of their deficiency. Just like with every other bodily function, God has tied satisfaction and pleasure to this as well. Eating, which sustains and nourishes life, comes with pleasure. Seeing and hearing bring pleasure too. Every one of our bodily senses is meant to give us enjoyment and satisfaction. Engaging in reproduction involves significant costs physically, financially, and in other ways, and God intends that this great sacrifice should be accompanied by a pleasure that is equally significant. God designed reproduction to be recognized as both a duty and a pleasure, and the feelings that encourage the continuation of the species are just as valid as those that motivate individuals to preserve their own lives or health. There is no doubt that in conception, God has assigned a vital role to desire and sensation. While experts agree that conception can occur without emotional involvement from the female, the outcome is more reliable, and the offspring of such a union are of a higher quality when both individuals experience the pleasures that lead to its fulfillment. This sexual indifference from the wife may often stem from being poorly matched with her husband, whether physically, morally, or socially; or because differing backgrounds and views have led to a lack of harmony that has, at least to some extent, affected their feelings.

There can be but little doubt that much marital indifference upon the part of wives is due to chronic constipation, which is so prevalent among women.

There’s little doubt that a lot of marital indifference from wives is caused by chronic constipation, which is so common among women.

Another cause of this indifference upon the part of some wives, and this is a very small class, is due to malformation, local obstruction, because of an imperfect rupturing of the hymen, or, in rare instances, to a disease known as vaginismus, rendering the act not only devoid of pleasure, but possessed of actual discomfort[Pg 127] and suffering. Where these conditions exist, prompt and competent medical assistance is needed for local treatment and judicious advice.

Another reason for this indifference among some wives, and this is a very small group, is due to physical issues, local blockages from an incomplete tearing of the hymen, or, in rare cases, a condition called vaginismus, which makes the act not only unpleasant but actually uncomfortable[Pg 127] and painful. When these situations occur, prompt and qualified medical help is necessary for local treatment and sensible guidance.

The second class is composed of women who find in the marital relation a moderate and normal pleasure when they are in health, and if indulged in at times which are agreeable to them, and at suitable intervals. This class represents, doubtless, those women who are more normal in this respect than those who belong to either of the other extremes. They constitute the middle class, and probably the largest number.

The second group is made up of women who experience a reasonable and healthy enjoyment from marriage when they are well, especially if it happens at times that they find agreeable and at appropriate intervals. This group likely includes those women who are more typical in this aspect compared to those in either of the other extremes. They form the middle class and probably represent the largest number.

The third class represents the few in whom sexuality presides as a ruling passion. This class is by no means as numerous as some might imagine, and such women should never be married except to men of good health, strong physique, large powers of endurance, and with a pronounced sexual inclination. When a man with only moderate sexual inclination is united to a woman of this class it is a question which is more to be pitied, the husband whose wife is totally devoid of sexual instinct, or the man whose wife is sexually insatiable. While there are a few women of this class, yet the rule remains that in man the sexual instinct is more pronounced than in woman, and that man constitutes the active and aggressive division of the human family; for while a certain female may possess a more pronounced sexual nature than a certain male, yet in her sexual nature she is not as pronounced as the most active male.[Pg 128]

The third class includes the few individuals for whom sexuality is a dominant passion. This class is not as large as some might think, and such women should only marry men who are healthy, physically strong, have great endurance, and possess a strong sexual desire. When a man with only moderate sexual desire is paired with a woman from this class, it's a sad situation for both—the husband whose wife lacks any sexual instinct, or the man whose wife is always wanting more. Although there are some women in this class, generally men have a stronger sexual instinct than women, and men represent the active and aggressive part of humanity. While some women may have a stronger sexual nature than some men, their sexual drive is still not as intense as that of the most assertive men.[Pg 128]

While among all species the male is the more active and aggressive, yet any one who has given attention to the reproductive act among animals will have noticed that in no instance can the male force this relation upon the female without her acquiescence, and in most instances the time of copulation is wholly determined by the condition of the female. It is only when she is in condition to conceive that she will receive the male, and at those periods her condition inspires him to the act. We cannot but believe that this is also intended to be the rule among human beings, although, strange to say, the wishes of the wife are oftentimes wholly ignored, and she submits reluctantly, or is wholly overborne by the exactions of an inconsiderate or brutal husband.

While in all species the male is generally more active and aggressive, anyone who's paid attention to the reproductive process in animals will have noticed that, in all cases, the male cannot force this relationship on the female without her consent. In fact, the timing of copulation is often completely determined by the female's condition. She will only accept the male when she's able to conceive, and during those times, her condition motivates him to act. We can't help but think this should also apply to humans, although, oddly enough, a wife’s wishes are often completely overlooked, leading her to submit reluctantly or be entirely overpowered by the demands of a thoughtless or cruel husband.

If this subjugation of the wish and the will of the wife to the will of the husband is the result of the curse pronounced upon Eve, "Thy desire shall be to thy husband," the chastisement of woman has been truly severe, for no sorer punishment could well be inflicted than to be deprived of the right of ruling over one's own body, and being placed in subjection to the capricious will and exacting demands of an unreasonable husband. If the wrongs which wives suffer in this respect are the result of the fall of our first parents, we should nevertheless rejoice that now the spiritual and material blessings which have been restored by the Second Adam are also to be shared by woman, and in all the world no other person should be[Pg 129] so anxious to crown her with the fullness of her natural rights as the man who will by such an effort vindicate the nobility of his own manhood and secure for himself the largest blessing and happiness, because he is her husband.

If the oppression of a wife’s desires and will by her husband stems from the curse placed upon Eve, “Your desire will be for your husband,” then the punishment for women has been truly harsh. There’s no greater punishment than losing the right to control one’s own body and being subjected to the unpredictable whims and demanding nature of an unreasonable husband. If the injustices that wives experience are a consequence of our first parents’ fall, we should still be grateful that the spiritual and material blessings restored by the Second Adam are also available to women. No one in the world should be more eager to ensure she receives the full measure of her natural rights than the man who, through this effort, will affirm the nobility of his own manhood and gain the greatest blessing and happiness as her husband.

Not only is the reproductive nature of woman less pronounced than in man, but its continuance in her is of a much shorter duration. At about forty-five years of age, and in some very much earlier, the reproductive nature of woman undergoes those changes which render conception and childbearing impossible. At that period her sexual nature takes upon itself modifications which are more pronounced than those experienced by the male when a somewhat similar sexual hush comes to him. The character of these changes, and what they involve both to the husband and to the wife, are treated at length in the fourth volume of this series addressed to men at forty-five, and it is well that young husbands should know what the future has in store for them, and so regulate their married life that the later years may bring them the largest possible good and blessing.

Not only is a woman's reproductive nature less noticeable than a man's, but it also lasts for a much shorter time. Around the age of forty-five, and sometimes even earlier, a woman's ability to conceive and bear children goes through changes that make it impossible. At that time, her sexual nature undergoes more significant changes than what a man experiences when he goes through a similar period of decreased sexual activity. The details of these changes and what they mean for both the husband and the wife are discussed in detail in the fourth volume of this series, which is aimed at men at forty-five. It's important for young husbands to understand what the future holds for them so they can manage their married life in a way that ensures their later years bring the greatest possible happiness and blessings.

The effect of the sexual relation upon newly-married men and women is oftentimes very noticeable. Sometimes those who previously seemed hearty and strong lose their bloom and vigor and become emaciated and miserable. Sometimes the reverse is the case. Especially among women, there are noticeable instances where the family heredity is good, no organic trouble exists, and yet the individual is[Pg 130] wholly miserable, and after marriage speedily develops into a strong and hearty woman. There are some who improve somewhat in health, but who avoid parenthood, and thus defraud themselves of the acquisition of perfect health. These cases, however, are rather the exception, and so much is involved in marriage that no man or woman can afford to take such serious risks, because exceptional instances do rarely occur. Yet the fact remains that there are some who are weak and worried and restless before marriage who become hopeful, restful and strong after marriage; while others, who were well situated and contented in their sphere, accept, in marriage, conditions which result in producing a nervous, despondent and restless disposition.

The impact of sexual relationships on newlywed men and women is often very noticeable. Sometimes, those who previously seemed healthy and strong lose their energy and vitality, becoming thin and miserable. Other times, the opposite happens. Especially among women, there are notable cases where the family genetics are good, no physical issues exist, and yet the individual is[Pg 130] completely unhappy, but after marriage quickly transforms into a strong and healthy woman. Some people improve their health a bit but choose to avoid having children, thereby missing out on achieving perfect health. However, these cases are quite rare, and so much is at stake in marriage that no one can afford to take such serious risks since exceptional cases happen infrequently. Still, the reality is that some individuals who feel weak, anxious, and restless before marriage become hopeful, calm, and strong after tying the knot, while others, who were well-adjusted and satisfied in their lives, find that marriage brings about conditions that lead to a nervous, depressed, and restless mindset.

If the marital relation of these people could be accurately known the cause of these noticeable changes might oftentimes be found in the moderation maintained by the one class and the excessive sexual indulgence the cause in the other. Sexual excess is quite common among married persons. In the husband it results in the destruction of physical power and in the weakening of the intellect as well. Force used in this way is not available for use intellectually, and the consequent effects unfit for study, mental activity, and oftentimes for all kinds of business. It renders the husband nervous, morose, and uncompanionable. The man who is guilty of excess not only destroys his own capacity for pleasure, but is alike unjust to his wife. He renders her incapable of marital pleasure, and[Pg 131] also renders her incapable of bringing to him the satisfaction which he seeks. Such a husband destroys the amiability of his wife, renders her weak and nervous, converts her into an invalid, and imposes upon himself large financial outlays for medical advice and attendance. Such a husband deliberately, but not always knowingly, consumes and destroys the physical qualities which made the wife attractive to him, and destroys the very foundation upon which all happiness in the home must rest. Excessive sexual tendencies among men are generally the result of early self-pollution, later illicit relations, reveling in vile stories, nude pictures, the reading of suggestive novels, the polluting of the imagination, and incorrect ideas of the proper relation in marriage. Thought is allowed to dwell too much upon these subjects, the flow of blood to the sexual parts becomes excessive, and the only remedy is by purifying the mind, correcting the ideas, resolutely determining to be moderate and considerate, removing all causes of undue sexual excitement, resorting to the bath, being judicious in the diet, giving due consideration to physical culture, and taking such an amount of exercise daily as is calculated to secure the best physical results and most effectual sexual mastery. The man who needs to be helped in the direction of moderation would do well to confide in his wife that her influence over him may be helpful and corrective, for in this, as in other things, a discreet and considerate wife is her husband's best balance-wheel.

If we could really understand the marriages of these people, we might often find that the noticeable changes stem from the moderation of one group and the excessive sexual indulgence of the other. Sexual excess is quite common among married couples. For husbands, it leads to a depletion of physical strength and a decline in intellectual ability. Energy spent in this way isn't available for intellectual pursuits, making them unfit for study, mental work, and often any kind of business. It makes husbands anxious, gloomy, and difficult to be around. A man who indulges excessively not only ruins his own ability to enjoy life but also treats his wife unfairly. He makes her unable to enjoy intimacy and fails to bring her the satisfaction he desires. This kind of husband damages his wife's kindness, leaves her weak and anxious, turns her into an invalid, and forces himself to incur significant medical costs. Such a husband unknowingly wastes and damages the physical traits that first attracted him to her, undermining the very foundation of happiness in their home. Excessive sexual behavior in men often arises from early self-abuse, later inappropriate relationships, obsession with crude stories, nude images, suggestive novels, a tainted imagination, and misguided ideas about marriage. When thoughts dwell too much on these topics, blood flow to the sexual organs increases, and the only solution is to purify the mind, correct these ideas, become determined to practice moderation and consideration, eliminate all reasons for excessive sexual arousal, take baths, maintain a healthy diet, prioritize physical fitness, and get enough daily exercise to achieve optimal physical health and effective sexual control. A man who needs help finding moderation should confide in his wife, as her influence can be beneficial and corrective. In matters like this, a wise and thoughtful wife can be her husband's best support.


CHAPTER X.

THE CARE OF THE BRIDE.

Few young husbands are intelligent guardians of their brides. Indeed, when first entering upon the marriage relation, young husbands are in danger of making some very serious mistakes. Many a husband has had cause to regret that in his lack of consideration he has allowed his passion to awaken in his wife such a feeling of disgust as to obliterate her affection for him, to blast the prospects of all future happiness, and render both himself and wife miserable throughout all their subsequent years.

Few young husbands are smart protectors of their wives. In fact, when they first start their marriage, young husbands risk making some big mistakes. Many husbands have regretted that in their thoughtlessness, they let their passions create a sense of disgust in their wives that wiped out their love for them, ruined their chances for future happiness, and made both of them unhappy for the rest of their lives.

In the first place a young husband should know that many women, even at the time of their marriage, are totally ignorant of all questions relating to sex. There are some women who do not so much as know that there are any physical differences between men and women. There are others who may know there is some difference, but into whose minds the thought of coition has never once entered. While this may not be true in a majority of cases, yet it is true in a large number of instances. We have even known of young wives who have approached the period of their first confinement who did not know the cause of their increasing bodily size; and we recently learned of an in[Pg 133]stance where the physician was already in the room to attend the expectant mother, who thought that she was to be delivered of her child by a surgical operation. She thought that the doctor was to make an incision in the abdomen, and remove her child in that way.

In the first place, a young husband should know that many women, even at the time of their marriage, are completely unaware of anything related to sex. Some women don’t even realize that there are any physical differences between men and women. Others may know there’s some difference, but the idea of intercourse has never crossed their minds. While this might not be true for most cases, it does apply to a significant number of situations. There have even been young wives who approached the time of their first labor without knowing the reason for their growing size; and we recently heard of a case where the doctor was already in the room to assist the expectant mother, who thought she was going to have her child through surgery. She believed the doctor would make an incision in her abdomen and remove her child that way.

To say that all this is culpable ignorance does not, however, remove the fact. Young husbands do well to recognize the fact that such ignorance exists, and that, in addition to such possible ignorance upon the part of his own bride, there is that general condition of exhaustion and debility which follows as the result of the weeks of preparation and nervous excitement which have preceded and culminated at the time of the wedding festivities. We have already dwelt upon this phase of the subject, and we need not enlarge upon it here. With the poor it is weeks, and sometimes months, of sewing and preparation. With the rich it is the meeting of social exactions and requirements, formal visitations, and then senseless seclusion. In each instance the results are equally enervating, bringing most brides, whether rich or poor, to the one great event in their lives in an exhausted and nervous condition. To say the least, this uniform physical depletion entitles the bride to the most thoughtful consideration and most gentle treatment that the young husband can exercise.

To call all this willful ignorance doesn’t change the truth. Young husbands should recognize that this ignorance exists and, in addition to any possible ignorance on the part of their bride, there’s also the general fatigue and weakness that comes from weeks of preparation and nervous excitement leading up to the wedding celebrations. We’ve already covered this aspect, so we won’t go into detail here. For those with limited means, it’s weeks, and sometimes months, of sewing and getting ready. For the wealthy, it involves meeting social demands, formal visits, and then pointless isolation. In both cases, the effects are equally draining, leaving most brides, whether they are rich or poor, arriving at this significant moment in their lives feeling exhausted and anxious. At the very least, this common physical exhaustion entitles the bride to the most considerate and gentle treatment from her young husband.

With ignorance upon the one side, inconsideration and ungovernable passion upon the other, the combination is unfortunate and the[Pg 134] results are oftentimes serious. The first act in the drama which is to culminate in separation and an effort to secure a divorce, is often enacted upon the night of the very day which witnessed the marriage ceremony and was attended with the congratulation of friends. The ignorance and inconsiderateness of both are alike to blame for this sad result—the wife for her lack of knowledge and consideration, and the husband for his lack of intelligent and thoughtful appreciation of the delicacies and dangers of his new relation.

With ignorance on one side, thoughtlessness and uncontrollable passion on the other, the combination is unfortunate and the[Pg 134] results are often serious. The first act in the drama that will end in separation and an attempt to get a divorce often happens on the same night as the wedding day, which was supposed to be filled with friends' congratulations. Both the wife and husband share the blame for this sad outcome—she for her lack of knowledge and thoughtfulness, and he for his failure to intelligently and thoughtfully recognize the nuances and risks of their new relationship.

In Greece the custom prevails of allowing three days to intervene between the marriage ceremony and the consummation of marriage. It would be well if such a custom prevailed everywhere. It would allow the exhausted, nervous, timid bride to bring to the consummation of the marriage relation renewed vigor and mental composure. It would prepare the mind of the young husband for such self-possession and restraint as would be becoming in this new relation, and would secure for him a happiness greatly heightened in intensity, and that would be prolonged through all the years that lie beyond.

In Greece, the custom is to have a three-day pause between the wedding ceremony and the marriage's consummation. It would be great if this practice were adopted everywhere. It would give the exhausted, nervous, and shy bride a chance to approach the wedding night with fresh energy and a calm mind. It would also help prepare the young husband to maintain the self-control and poise that are fitting for this new relationship, ultimately leading to a happiness that is not only more intense but also lasts throughout all the years to come.

It is enough to make a thoughtful and considerate man blush to think of the scores of wives who annually confess to their physicians that the only rape that was ever committed upon them was by their own husbands the first day of their married life. We recently heard of an instance where the expressed impatience[Pg 135] and manifest impetuosity of the young husband, the moment he came into the bridal chamber with his young wife, awakened in her mind such a feeling of disgust that after a brief parleying the young wife left the room and refused ever to return to her husband, and thus terminated abruptly what, with thoughtful and considerate approaches and manifest affection, might have resulted in a union of lifelong happiness.

It’s enough to make any thoughtful and considerate man blush to think about the many wives who yearly admit to their doctors that the only violation they’ve ever experienced was from their own husbands on the very first day of their marriage. We recently heard about a case where the impatience and obvious eagerness of a young husband, as soon as he stepped into the bridal chamber with his bride, caused such a feeling of disgust in her that, after a short discussion, she left the room and refused to come back to him. This way, they ended what could have blossomed into a lifelong happy union, had there been more thoughtfulness, consideration, and clear affection.

In his book, entitled "Plain Talks on Avoided Subjects," Dr. Henry L. Guernsey says: "Tenderly and with great consideration should these privileges be accepted, for, contrary to the opinion of many men, there is no sensual passion on the part of the bride that induces her to grant such liberties. Then how exquisitely gentle and how forbearing should be the bridegroom's deportment on such occasions. Sometimes such a shock is administered to her sensibilities that she does not recover from it for years; and in consequence of this shock, rudely or ruthlessly administered, she forms a deeply rooted antipathy against the very act which is the bond and seal of a truly happy married life."

In his book, titled "Plain Talks on Avoided Subjects," Dr. Henry L. Guernsey states: "These privileges should be embraced with care and respect, because, contrary to what many believe, the bride does not feel a sensual urge that drives her to grant such liberties. Therefore, the bridegroom's behavior on these occasions should be exceptionally gentle and patient. Sometimes, the impact on her feelings can be so intense that she doesn't fully recover for years; as a result of this harsh or careless impact, she develops a lasting aversion to the very act that is the foundation of a genuinely happy married life."

Mrs. E. B. Duffey, in her book entitled "The Relations of the Sexes," says: "Do not be in too great haste to brush the bloom from the fruit you covet. It will lose half its attractions at once. Practice in lawful wedlock the arts of the seducer rather than the violence of the man who commits rape, and you will find the reward of your patience very sweet and lasting. This[Pg 136] bud of passion cannot be forced rudely open. Its development must be the work of time. If the young wife is met with violence, if she finds that her husband regards the gratification of his own desires more than her feelings—and if she be worn and wearied with excesses in the early days of her married life, the bud will be blighted. The husband will have only himself to blame if he is bound all his life to an apathetic, irresponsive wife. It is easy to imagine the unsatisfactory conjugal relations which are brought about in punishment of the husband's early impetuosity and ignorance. He finds an unreciprocal wife, doubts her affection for him, because, with his masculine nature, he cannot conceive of a love unblended with passion. She, in her defrauded womanhood, feels aggrieved and debased by any conjugal approach—especially by an enforced one—and finds it equally hard to understand how affection and passion can be united; the one she knows to be so self-forgetful and denying, and the other she has such abundant cause for believing utterly selfish and rapacious."

Mrs. E. B. Duffey, in her book titled "The Relations of the Sexes," says: "Don't rush to take the charm away from the fruit you desire. You'll lose half its appeal right away. Instead of using the aggression of a rapist, practice the subtlety of a seducer within a lawful marriage, and you'll find the rewards of your patience sweet and lasting. This[Pg 136] bud of passion cannot be forced open roughly. Its growth needs time. If a young wife faces violence, if she sees her husband prioritizing his own desires over her feelings—and if she feels exhausted and worn out by excesses in the early days of marriage, the bud will be damaged. The husband will have only himself to blame if he is stuck with an indifferent, unresponsive wife for life. It's easy to picture the unsatisfactory marital relationship that results from the husband's early rashness and lack of knowledge. He has an unresponsive wife, questions her love for him, because he can't fathom a love that isn't mixed with passion. She, in her wounded womanhood, feels wronged and diminished by any marital advance—especially if it's forced—and finds it equally hard to understand how affection and passion can go together; one is selfless and sacrificial, while the other seems utterly selfish and greedy."

The excesses which are likely to follow after the earliest experiences of married life are also to be cautiously guarded against. The author whom we have just quoted says: "I will venture to say that there is not one man in fifty who in the first years of his married life is not guilty of sexual abuse towards his wife, which effect is alone sufficient to account for the great prevalence of female diseases. Not that every woman[Pg 137] is injured by it to the extent of inflammation and ulceration, yet many are. I am not running a tilt against married men. I blame them for no intentional wrong—only for ignorance. And women are also equally to blame in this matter. They are just as ignorant as their husbands, and often allow themselves to yield to demands or importunities when, if they were to consider it a conscientious duty to refuse, they would do so.

The excesses that are likely to occur after the initial experiences of married life should be carefully avoided. The author we just quoted says: "I can confidently say that there isn't one man in fifty who, in the first years of his marriage, isn't guilty of sexual misconduct towards his wife, which alone accounts for the high rate of female health issues. Not every woman is hurt to the extent of inflammation and ulceration, but many are. I'm not criticizing married men. I don’t blame them for any intentional wrongdoing—only for their ignorance. Women share the blame in this issue as well. They are just as unaware as their husbands and often give in to demands or pressure when they should see it as their moral duty to refuse."

"The tender, delicate organs of generation in women are often abused to such an extent by too frequent use that they become inflamed and ulcerate, and render the woman an invalid. Even the husband does not see the cause or measure the extent of his folly, but persists in his selfish course in spite of the sufferings he causes his wife, constantly aggravating her disorders, and rendering them more and more hopeless of cure. Thus the husband, kind and attentive in all other matters—who would not allow the winds of heaven to visit the cheek of his wife too roughly—becomes, in this one respect, a very—I was about to say brute; but the animal creation presents no parallel case, so I find no appropriate word in comparison."

"The sensitive, delicate reproductive organs in women are often mistreated through excessive use, leading to inflammation and ulcers, which can leave the woman incapacitated. Even the husband fails to recognize the cause or understand the severity of his actions, continuing his selfish behavior despite the pain he inflicts on his wife, constantly worsening her condition and making recovery increasingly hopeless. In every other aspect, the husband is kind and considerate—he wouldn’t let even a light breeze disturb his wife’s cheek too harshly—but in this one area, he becomes, well—I was about to say a brute; but there’s no comparison in the animal kingdom, so I can't find a fitting word."

In his book entitled "The Transmission of Life," Dr. George H. Napheys, in writing upon this subject, says: "The consequence is that in repeated instances the thoughtlessness and precipitancy of the young husband lay the foundation for numerous diseases of the womb and nervous system; for the gratification of a night[Pg 138] he forfeits the comfort of years. Let him, at the time when the slow-paced hours have at last brought to him the treasures he has so long been coveting, administer with a frugal hand and with a wise forethought. Let him be considerate, temperate, and self-controlled. He will never regret it if he defer for days the exercise of those privileges which the law now gives him, but which are more than disappointing if seized upon in an arbitrary, coarse, or brutal manner.

In his book titled "The Transmission of Life," Dr. George H. Napheys writes about this topic: "As a result, in many cases, the carelessness and impulsiveness of the young husband set the stage for various diseases of the womb and nervous system; for the pleasure of one night[Pg 138] he sacrifices years of comfort. At a time when the slow-moving hours have finally brought him the treasures he has long desired, he should proceed with caution and careful planning. He should be considerate, moderate, and self-disciplined. He will never regret delaying for days the use of those privileges that the law now grants him, but which can be very disappointing if pursued in a reckless, harsh, or ruthless way."

"The husband should be aware that while, as a rule, the first conjugal approaches are painful to the new wife, and, therefore, that she only submits and cannot enjoy them. This pain should not be excessively severe, nor should it last for any great length of time—not more than one or two weeks. Should the case be otherwise, then something is wrong, and if rest does not restore the parts a physician should be consulted. It is especially necessary that great moderation be observed at first, an admonition which we the more urgently give because we know it is needed, because those specialists who devote their time to diseases of women are constantly meeting patients who date their months and years of misery from the epoch of marriage."

"The husband should understand that, as a general rule, the first experiences together can be uncomfortable for the new wife, and because of this, she may only tolerate them without truly enjoying the experience. This discomfort shouldn't be too intense or last for a long time—no more than one or two weeks. If it lasts longer, then something might be wrong, and if rest doesn't help, a doctor should be consulted. It's crucial to practice great moderation at the beginning, and we stress this because we know it's necessary. Many specialists who focus on women's health often see patients who trace their months and years of suffering back to their wedding day."

The pain and inconvenience to which the doctor refers in the preceding paragraph is oftentimes due to the presence in young wives of what is known as the hymen. This is a thin membrane which nature places near the lower extremity of the vaginal passage to protect the[Pg 139] delicate linings of the reproductive organs of the female against the admission of any foreign substance, exposure to cold, or any other influence which might tend to the injury of the reproductive nature. With the growth of the body this membrane sometimes acquires such consistency or strength that the rupturing of it is attended with inconvenience, and oftentimes with much pain. This fact alone should render a young husband very considerate, dispassionate, and thoughtful.

The pain and discomfort the doctor mentions in the previous paragraph is often caused by the hymen in young wives. This is a thin membrane that nature places near the lower end of the vaginal passage to protect the[Pg 139] sensitive linings of the female reproductive organs from foreign substances, exposure to cold, or any other factors that could harm reproductive health. As the body develops, this membrane can become so strong that breaking it can cause discomfort, and often significant pain. This alone should make a young husband very considerate, calm, and thoughtful.

The pain attendant upon the rupturing of the hymen is not so much due to the sensitiveness of the membrane itself as the fact that it adheres to the walls of the vagina, and any lateral pressure brought to bear upon the hymen imposes such a tension where the hymen is attached to the walls of the vagina as to produce, in some instances at least, intense pain. The rupturing of the hymen is often attended with a small quantity of blood, sometimes scarcely perceptible, and at other times more considerable.

The pain that comes with the tearing of the hymen isn't just because of how sensitive the membrane is, but also because it is attached to the walls of the vagina. Any side pressure on the hymen creates tension at the attachment points, which can lead to intense pain in some cases. When the hymen tears, it often results in a small amount of blood; sometimes it's barely noticeable, while other times it can be more significant.

It was at one time thought that the presence of the hymen was an unmistakable evidence of virginity, and its absence was regarded as a cause for suspicion, if not a proof, of previous sexual relation. While it is true that in most virgins the hymen does exist, yet we do not have the slightest hesitation in saying that it does not exist in all. It may be ruptured and destroyed by a slight accident during childhood, is sometimes even destroyed at birth; in abnormal cases it may need to be destroyed me[Pg 140]chanically by the family physician in order to remove it as an impediment in the more easy flow of the monthly period.

It was once believed that the presence of the hymen was a clear sign of virginity, and its absence raised suspicions, if not outright proof, of previous sexual activity. While it's true that most virgins have a hymen, we can confidently say that not everyone does. It can be torn or damaged by minor accidents during childhood, and in some cases, it may even be absent from birth; in certain situations, it may need to be surgically removed by a family doctor to alleviate issues with menstruation.

Mrs. E. B. Duffey, in "What Women Should Know," when writing of the test of virginity, says: "It is popularly believed that the husband receives proof, upon the consummation of his marriage, of the previous chastity of his wife. If he obtains this evidence it is safe to accept it as conclusive, though rare exceptional cases are to be met with in which the evidence counts for nothing. If, on the other hand, the proof is wanting, it is most unjust and cruel, on the strength of this alone, to charge a wife with want of chastity previous to marriage. It is not uncommon for accidents, which may occur at any time, and which may even date back to birth itself, to destroy this evidence, or it may never have existed."

Mrs. E. B. Duffey, in "What Women Should Know," discusses the test of virginity: "It's commonly believed that a husband gets proof of his wife's previous chastity when they consummate their marriage. If he finds this proof, it's generally safe to take it as definitive, although there are rare exceptions where it means nothing. However, if there's no proof, it's extremely unfair and cruel to accuse a wife of being unchaste before marriage based solely on that. Accidents can happen at any time, even from birth, which can eliminate this evidence, or it may have never existed at all."

Dr. Napheys says: "The presence or absence of the hymen is no test. There is, in fact, no sign whatever which allows even an expert positively to say that a woman has or has not suffered the approaches of one of the opposite sex. The true and only test which any man should look for is modesty in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance and a disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind. Where these are present he need not doubt that he has a faithful and chaste wife."

Dr. Napheys says: "The presence or absence of the hymen is not a reliable indicator. In fact, there’s no sign that even an expert can use to definitively determine if a woman has had sexual encounters with someone from the opposite sex. The real and only thing a man should look for is modesty in behavior before marriage, a lack of feigned ignorance and an unpleasant familiarity, along with a pure and religious mindset. If these qualities are present, he can be confident that he has a faithful and chaste wife."

It is important for young husbands to know that when a serious inconvenience is experi[Pg 141]enced in the consummation of marriage, if not easily removed by care and consideration, but remains an impediment or a pain for a period of days, or of a couple of weeks, medical advice and assistance should by all means be sought. In the case of women who have advanced in years before marriage such difficulties often occur, and medical assistance is the safest, most sensible and speediest source of delivery.

It’s important for young husbands to understand that if a serious issue comes up during the consummation of marriage, and it doesn’t get resolved with care and attention but continues to be a problem or a discomfort for a few days or even a couple of weeks, they should definitely seek medical advice and help. This is especially true for women who marry later in life, as they often face such challenges, and medical assistance is the safest, most sensible, and quickest way to find relief.

We cannot pass this point without seeking to impress upon the young husband the danger liable to result from the use of wine and other stimulants upon the occasion of his marriage. One of the most terrible afflictions which can come to any home is the birth of an idiot, and if the statements of medical authority are to be relied upon, the birth of these unfortunate burdens to their parents is due to their conception at a time when either the husband or the wife, or both, were under the effects of stimulants, and the temporary idiocy of an inebriated man or woman has been transmitted and permanently embodied in the begetting and birth of a child that has been robbed of its rights by the wrongs of its parents, who have pulled down upon their own heads one of the most awful and prolonged curses which could be suffered as a result of a human mistake.

We can’t move past this point without emphasizing to the young husband the risks associated with alcohol and other stimulants during his marriage. One of the worst tragedies that can happen in any home is the birth of a child with disabilities, and if we can trust medical experts, these unfortunate outcomes often result from conception when either the husband, the wife, or both were under the influence of substances. The temporary impairment of an intoxicated individual can be passed on, resulting in a child who has been deprived of their rights due to the mistakes of their parents, who have brought upon themselves one of the most devastating and long-lasting curses that can arise from a human error.

Note also carefully the fact that the exhausted physical condition of the bride is sure to result in an enfeebled offspring, should conception occur before she has regained her physical powers. It is possible that the exhausted physi[Pg 142]cal condition of young brides, and that the excessive indulgence which is likely to follow the earlier months of marriage, either one or both, are largely the chief cause, or causes, of the frightful mortality among first-born children.

Note also carefully that the bride's exhausted physical condition is likely to lead to a weakened child if conception happens before she has fully recovered her strength. It’s possible that the bride's fatigue and the excessive indulgence often seen in the early months of marriage, whether one or both, are significant factors contributing to the alarming mortality rates among first-born children.

The joys of the newly-married are not only noticeable, but very beautiful. The outgoings of human affection are as beautiful and impressive as the relation of the birds that don their brightest plumage, sing their sweetest songs and build their nests in the springtime, when the mating instincts and emotional nature of the birds reach their highest and most animate expression. A young bride, in conversation with one of her intimate friends, in alluding to her happiness, said: "It is too good to last." The fact is, that this intensity of reproductive activity must give place to corresponding rest-periods of considerable length, or depletion and death would ensue as the inevitable result. The wave not only cannot, but it should not always remain at its crest, but it must subside and sink, in order that it may regain itself and rise on the crest of a new wave of emotional activity.

The joys of newlyweds are not just noticeable; they're truly beautiful. The expressions of human affection are as stunning and impressive as the way birds flaunt their brightest feathers, sing their sweetest songs, and build their nests in the spring when their mating instincts and emotions are at their peak. A young bride, chatting with one of her close friends, mentioned her happiness by saying, "It’s too good to last." The truth is, this intense period of connection has to give way to longer rest periods; otherwise, exhaustion and burnout would be the inevitable outcome. Just like a wave can't and shouldn't stay at its peak, it must retreat and lower before it can build up and rise again in a new surge of emotional energy.

The pleasures of married life can only be heightened and perpetuated in a home of your own. The newly-married should always live apart by themselves, wherever such a course is at all possible. Living with the parents of either party is generally disadvantageous, and life in a hotel or boarding-house is not only undesirable, but dangerous.[Pg 143]

The joys of being married can only increase and continue in a home of your own. Newlyweds should ideally live on their own, whenever possible. Living with either person's parents usually has its drawbacks, and staying in a hotel or boarding house is not only undesirable but also risky.[Pg 143]

Birds never live in a boarding-house, neither should married people. To the newly-married it is a place of special disadvantage and danger. They need to be alone, rather than under the constant gaze of the curious. In such a place both are exposed to the constant assaults of gossips, the wife is compelled to live in idleness, is a prisoner in her own room, is exposed to perils innumerable, and jealousies and alienations are likely to be engendered. A boarding-house is no place for the newly-married, who have a right to expect that lawful and honorable marriage may result in parentage. Any medical practitioner can testify to the number of young wives who have besought them to murder their unborn children because they were "boarding," and it was "not convenient to have a family."

Birds don’t live in boarding houses, and neither should married couples. For newlyweds, it’s especially tough and risky. They need privacy instead of being under the watchful eyes of nosy neighbors. In such a place, they are constantly at the mercy of gossipers. The wife may end up idle, trapped in her own room, facing countless dangers, and feelings of jealousy and distance can arise. A boarding house is the last place for newlyweds, who should expect that a lawful and loving marriage could lead to starting a family. Any doctor can confirm how many young wives have asked them to terminate their pregnancies because they were "boarding" and it was "not the right time to have kids."

A modest little home of your own is always best. If that is not possible, then rent a house, but do not start in a pretentious and extravagant way. Live within your means from the beginning. Do not bank upon the future. If you do not save money at first, the probabilities are that you never will. Debt is a terrible incubus. It will take the color out of the cheek of your wife, it will despoil the husband of pluck and energy and hope. It will cast over the prospect of coming years the dark shadow of despondency and despair. Cheerfully submit to such self-denials as will enable you to save something from your income. Join a good and safe building association, and if you cannot buy an hum[Pg 144]ble home at once, plan to do so as early as possible. Plan for your needs and comforts, rather than for display and wretchedness. Home happiness is found in contraction, and not in expansion. A large house with many rooms requires the presence of many servants. These irritate, bring constant annoyance to the wife, who should be carefully delivered from undue anxiety; and they also impose large outlays of money, for which neither the husband nor the wife receive many returns, unless it may be the empty satisfaction of "what our friends will think." If you really wish your friends to think well of you, be governed by sense and not by sentiment.

A modest little home of your own is always the best choice. If that's not possible, then rent a house, but don't start off in a flashy or extravagant way. Live within your means from the start. Don't rely on the future. If you don't save money at first, chances are you never will. Debt is a terrible burden. It will drain the vitality from your wife, and it will rob the husband of courage, energy, and hope. It will cast a dark cloud of despair over the years to come. Cheerfully make the sacrifices that will allow you to save something from your income. Join a good and reliable building association, and if you can't buy a humble home right away, plan to do so as early as possible. Focus on your needs and comfort rather than on showiness and misery. True happiness at home comes from simplicity, not from having more. A big house with many rooms requires a lot of servants. These can be irritating and constantly annoy your wife, who should be free from unnecessary stress; they also come with high expenses that provide little return for either husband or wife, except perhaps the empty satisfaction of "what our friends will think." If you really want your friends to think well of you, let common sense guide you instead of sentiment.

For the sake of health, of present and future happiness, and the well-being of your children that are to be, both the husband and the wife should be industrious. His daily occupation and her daily duties will prove ministers of mercy to each. Idleness for either is a misfortune. Discontent, dissatisfaction and divorce, one or all, are always born of idleness.

For the sake of health, present and future happiness, and the well-being of your future children, both the husband and the wife should be hardworking. His daily job and her daily tasks will be acts of kindness for each other. Laziness for either is a misfortune. Discontent, dissatisfaction, and divorce—one or all of these—always come from idleness.

Perhaps one of the happiest moments in your life will be when you step into a house which you can call your own home, and for the first time sit down at your own table. If you wish to perpetuate that joy, see to it that you are attentive, devoted, given to a verbal expression of your affection and an appreciation for every effort made by your wife to render your home attractive, your food palatable and your life enjoyable. Let her know that you appreciate[Pg 145] every effort that she puts forth, and as the months and the years go by do not think a repetition of praise would become an offending monotony to her. A wife never ceases to love the expressions of admiration, appreciation and affection upon the part of her husband.

Perhaps one of the happiest moments in your life will be when you walk into a house that you can finally call your own home, and for the first time, sit down at your own table. If you want to hold onto that joy, make sure you’re attentive, devoted, and verbal about your affection and appreciation for everything your wife does to make your home inviting, your meals enjoyable, and your life fulfilling. Let her know that you value every effort she makes, and as time goes on, don't think that repeating your praise will become annoying for her. A wife never stops loving expressions of admiration, appreciation, and affection from her husband.

If you start out with a struggle to determine whether the will of the wife or the will of the husband shall have preference and pre-eminence, you may reasonably expect contention and strife for all the rest of your life. Let each seek to surpass the other in consideration, deference, and even self-denial, and the light and the joy which break upon your home in the beginning will abide to the end.

If you begin by trying to figure out whether the wife's wishes or the husband's wishes should take priority, you can expect conflict and tension for the rest of your life. Instead, both partners should aim to outdo each other in respect, kindness, and even selflessness, and the happiness and light that enter your home at the start will last until the end.


CHAPTER XI.

THE YOUNG WIFE AND MOTHERHOOD.

In a previous place we have spoken of the importance of industry and activity as important elements in a young wife, and as essential in securing success for the family, happiness in the home, and bodily health and vigor for the wife. An idle woman is always an unhappy woman, and she eventually succeeds in making every one unhappy about her. Her household duties are no misfortune, but a blessing.

In a previous discussion, we talked about how important it is for a young wife to be industrious and active, as these traits are crucial for the family’s success, happiness at home, and the wife’s physical health and vitality. A woman who doesn't keep busy is often an unhappy one, and she can bring unhappiness to everyone around her. Her household responsibilities are not a burden, but a blessing.

But there is also another side to the question. Unthoughtful husbands do not always appreciate the magnitude of the duties which fall to the successful homemaker and homekeeper. Her duties are legion. We do not now speak of the wives who live in affluence, who never need to regard expense, who have only to indicate their wish in order to have it executed; but of the great multitude of wives and mothers who preside in the homes of the great middle class and of those who struggle with the economies and duties in homes of small means. The young husband should appreciate the fact that if the beautiful poetry which adorns the tombstones in our cemeteries could be translated into truthful prose they would tell of the thousands of martyrs to mending, sewing, baking,[Pg 147] scrubbing—they would tell that the weapons by which hundreds of these housekeepers were slain were the broom, the sewing-machine, the cradle and the ladle. The Thirty Years' War was not so severe or so prolonged as the warfare which is waged from early morning till late at night by the great army of industrious wives, busy mothers and anxious homekeepers. If the boy has lost his book or the girl her bonnet, mother must help to find it. If the baby coughs or cries at night the father sleeps on oblivious of the fact, but the infant cannot stir without being heard by its anxious and attentive mother. If sickness compels, she bends in anxious vigils over the little life that lies in the cradle. If the breadwinner is brought home sick, it matters not how manifold the duties of the mother, no trained nurse can take the place of the wife at the bedside. In health and in sickness, in prosperity and adversity, during the day and at night, the wife and the mother finds herself the centre of duties, and very often of exactions.

But there's also another side to the issue. Thoughtless husbands don’t always recognize the scale of responsibilities that fall on a successful homemaker and homekeeper. Her duties are numerous. We're not talking about wives who live in luxury, who never have to worry about money, and only need to express their desires to have them fulfilled; rather, we're discussing the countless wives and mothers who manage homes in the great middle class and those who juggle the challenges of maintaining households on tight budgets. A young husband should understand that if the beautiful poetry on gravestones could be expressed in plain language, it would reveal the countless sacrifices made by those who mend, sew, bake,[Pg 147] and scrub—showing that the tools that led to the struggles of many of these homemakers were the broom, the sewing machine, the cradle, and the ladle. The Thirty Years' War wasn’t as harsh or as long as the daily battles fought from early morning to late at night by the vast army of hardworking wives, busy mothers, and devoted homekeepers. If a boy loses his book or a girl misplaces her bonnet, it’s the mother who has to help find it. If the baby coughs or cries at night, the father sleeps on, unaware, while the baby’s every move is noticed by its concerned and attentive mother. If illness strikes, she stays up in anxious vigilance over the little one in the cradle. If the breadwinner comes home sick, no matter how many tasks the mother has on her plate, no trained nurse can substitute for the wife at the bedside. In health and illness, in good times and bad, during the day and at night, the wife and mother is at the center of responsibilities, often facing demanding expectations.

In the demands which a young husband makes upon the young wife he should remember what are her duties and requirements during the day, in the home, in the church, in society, in the community; he should remember that physically she is the weaker vessel, that even when in her best physical condition sexual inclination is largely dormant, and when she is weary and worn she deserves to be treated with more than usual thoughtfulness and consideration.[Pg 148]

In the demands a young husband places on his young wife, he should keep in mind her responsibilities and needs throughout the day, at home, in church, in social settings, and within the community. He should recognize that she is physically the weaker partner, and even when she feels her best, her sexual desire is often low. When she is tired and drained, she deserves to be treated with extra thoughtfulness and care.[Pg 148]

Whatever demands the young husband makes upon his wife, whether as his helper or the participant of his joys, he should remember that even from the low standpoint of selfish interest and personal pleasure he wrongs himself, in addition to being unjust and oftentimes cruel to his wife, when he fails to take into consideration her physical condition and manifold duties.

Whatever demands the young husband makes on his wife, whether as his helper or a partner in his joys, he should remember that even from a self-serving and pleasure-seeking viewpoint, he is wronging himself, as well as being unfair and often cruel to his wife, if he does not consider her physical condition and many responsibilities.

If the young husband and wife desire to be permanently happy they dare not ignore the special purpose for which God instituted marriage. While marriage has other purposes, yet the great final purpose is the raising up of a family and the perpetuation of the human race. The injunction which God gave to Noah, when he said, "Be ye fruitful and multiply, bringing forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein," is to-day, and ever will be, in force. Among the Israelites barrenness was regarded as one of the greatest of misfortunes. In many instances it was regarded as a cause of personal shame, and even of dishonor. When Hannah went up to the Temple and prayed for a son she was only giving expression to the longings and desires which filled the heart of every barren Israelitish woman who had entered into the sacred bonds of marriage, and when God promised Abraham and Sarah that their seed should be in multitude as the stars in the heavens they regarded themselves as the recipients of one of the greatest blessings which God could bestow.

If a young husband and wife want to be truly happy together, they can't ignore the special purpose for which God created marriage. While marriage has various purposes, the main one is to raise a family and continue the human race. The command God gave to Noah, when He said, "Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and multiply in it," is still relevant today and will always be. For the Israelites, being childless was seen as one of the worst misfortunes. In many cases, it brought personal shame and even dishonor. When Hannah went to the Temple and prayed for a son, she was voicing the longings and hopes of every barren Israelite woman who had married. When God promised Abraham and Sarah that their descendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky, they saw it as one of the greatest blessings God could give.

The same is true in India, where the people are polygamists in theory, but seldom in prac[Pg 149]tice, except when the first wife is childless. The family must not be left without a priest, or the parents without descendants; therefore the husband is permitted by law to take two, or even more, wives, in order that he may raise up children unto himself.

The same is true in India, where people are theoretically polygamists, but rarely in practice, except when the first wife cannot have children. The family cannot be without a priest or the parents without descendants; therefore, the law allows the husband to take two or even more wives so that he can have children.

If marriage was instituted for the good of the man and the woman who enter into this sacred relation, their highest good cannot be attained in this relation until their union is blessed with children. It has been aptly said that the man needs the woman and the woman needs the man, and both need the children. The obligation to have children is not only enjoined in the Scriptures, but written in the physical, social and moral constitution of man and woman. This law is "rooted in the unconscious law of life which bids us perpetuate our kind; which guards over the conservation of life." "Love looks to marriage and marriage to offspring as a natural sequence." Any entering into the bond of marriage with the resolved purpose of avoiding the begetting and the bearing of children constitutes a union which accepts lust in the place of love, and converts the honorable estate of marriage into a form of legalized prostitution.

If marriage was established for the benefit of the man and the woman who enter into this sacred relationship, their true happiness can't be achieved in this bond until they have children. It's been said that the man needs the woman, the woman needs the man, and both need children. The duty to have children is not only commanded in the Scriptures but is also ingrained in the physical, social, and moral makeup of men and women. This obligation is "rooted in the unconscious law of life which urges us to continue our species; which protects the preservation of life." "Love leads to marriage, and marriage leads to children as a natural progression." Any decision to marry with the intention of avoiding having children turns that union into one that prioritizes lust over love, transforming the honorable institution of marriage into a form of legalized prostitution.

An earnest writer aptly says: "I must counsel husbands and wives to cherish the hope of becoming parents, and to let their hearts stand in a holy attitude in this respect. You should allow neither moderate income, financial pressure, sensual pleasure, nor evil forebodings, to[Pg 150] cause you to entertain unholy thoughts or induce you to engage in criminal proceedings in this matter. No child should be considered an unwelcome intruder in the home. The heart of the home is the cradle; it is the cementing tie between husband and wife. God intends that husbands and wives should become parents; and no pure woman nor honorable man will enter upon matrimony with intentions to the contrary. If they do, God will visit upon them degraded morals, ruined health, financial loss, or other terrible inflictions. The world has millions of faithful wives and mothers, but there are thousands of childless wives who are so because they entered into that black crime of conspiring with the devil to prevent them from being mothers. They regard children as an unmitigated nuisance, and consequently darken, blast and damn their own lives with an act of murder. On the other hand, God blesses the mothers, in that he prolongs their days and brings up their children to reflect glory and honor upon them."

An earnest writer wisely states: "I must advise husbands and wives to hold onto the hope of becoming parents and keep their hearts open to this idea. You should not let things like a modest income, financial pressure, fleeting pleasures, or negative thoughts lead you to have unholy beliefs or push you towards sinful actions regarding this matter. No child should be seen as an unwelcome presence in the home. The heart of the home is the cradle; it's the bond that connects husband and wife. God intends for husbands and wives to become parents, and no decent woman or honorable man will enter marriage planning to do otherwise. If they do, God will punish them with degraded morals, poor health, financial troubles, or other severe consequences. The world has millions of devoted wives and mothers, but there are thousands of childless women because they engaged in the grave sin of working against God's plan to be mothers. They see children as a complete burden, and in doing so, they darken and ruin their own lives with that act of rejection. On the flip side, God blesses mothers by extending their lives and raising children who bring glory and honor to them."

Dr. Guernsey says: "The object of marriage is the ultimation of that love which brings the two together and binds them together in the procreation and rearing of children for heaven. This is the only true aim and sole object about which every earthly desire, interest and plan of the married pair should cluster. No greater crime in the sight of heaven exists to-day than that of preventing the natural use of marriage. This is done in a great variety of ways, every[Pg 151] one of which is criminal, in whatever form practiced; and none will escape the penalty—no, not one. Nature's laws are inexorable; every transgression, therefore, is surely punished, even at the climacteric period, if not before. The questions of failing health, or physical inability, or too frequent conceptions are matters for the investigation, advice and decision of an experienced, judicious and upright physician. They should never be taken in hand and judged upon by the parties themselves. And to the objection 'Can't afford to have children—they cost too much,' I have faith enough to reply, 'Our heavenly Father never sends more mouths than he can feed.' Let each one do his and her duty in life, and this cavil falls to the ground—which, when spilled, cannot be gathered up.

Dr. Guernsey says: "The purpose of marriage is to fulfill the love that brings two people together and connects them in raising children for heaven. This should be the main goal and focus around which every desire, interest, and plan of the couple revolves. There is no greater sin in the eyes of heaven today than preventing the natural use of marriage. This can happen in many ways, each of which is wrong, no matter how it’s carried out, and no one will escape the consequences—not a single person. Nature's laws are unyielding; every violation will inevitably be punished, even at the climacteric period, if not sooner. Issues like declining health, physical inability, or frequent pregnancies should be assessed, advised, and decided upon by a knowledgeable, sensible, and trustworthy doctor. Couples should not handle these matters themselves. And to the claim 'We can’t afford to have children—they’re too expensive,' I have enough faith to respond, 'Our heavenly Father never sends more mouths than He can feed.' Everyone should do their duty in life, and this excuse falls away—just like spilt milk that cannot be reclaimed."

"Good people everywhere rejoice when they behold a married couple living together in an orderly manner and rearing a large family of children. How often is Queen Victoria held up as a pattern of excellence in this respect. She accepted and acknowledged Prince Albert as her husband and gave herself to him as his wife; and so indeed she was in every sense of the term. Although a queen, sitting on the pinnacle of power, she did not seek to avoid the pangs, the dangers or inconveniences of bearing children. By her own personal strength her twelve children were brought forth, and her own sensitive fibres and tissues felt the suffering. She nursed, caressed and loved them like[Pg 152] a good mother, and she was a royal mother! Other kings and queens have done likewise; other husbands and wives, high in power, wealth and fashion, have done and are still doing the same. And how much the less should we, in the humbler walks of life, obey the divine command, 'Be fruitful and multiply'? If a husband truly loves his wife, and if she truly loves him, they will live for each other and in each other, and they will be one; and they will seek to do right in every particular of their marital relation."

"Good people everywhere celebrate when they see a married couple living together in harmony and raising a large family. Queen Victoria is often referenced as an ideal example in this regard. She accepted Prince Albert as her husband and fully embraced her role as his wife; she truly was in every sense of the word. Even as a queen, sitting at the height of power, she didn't shy away from the pains, risks, or challenges of childbirth. Through her own strength, she brought forth twelve children, and she felt the emotional and physical toll it took on her. She nurtured, cherished, and loved them like a good mother, and she was a royal mother! Other kings and queens have done the same; other husbands and wives, who are also powerful, wealthy, and stylish, have done and continue to do this as well. And how much more should we, in simpler lives, follow the divine command, 'Be fruitful and multiply'? If a husband truly loves his wife, and if she truly loves him, they will live for each other and as one; they will strive to do right in every aspect of their marriage."

We believe that every thoughtful man and considerate husband will concede that motherhood may not justly or properly be forced upon a resisting wife. That many wives do refuse to bear children, no well-informed person can deny. Sometimes the reasons assigned are unworthy of womanhood, base and ignoble. At other times the reasons assigned by the wife are worthy of the most thoughtful consideration. But whether the reasons which the wife entertains are honorable or dishonorable, correct or criminal, it must nevertheless be acknowledged that she is a free moral agent, and if she assumes the responsibility of declining one of the main purposes for which marriage was instituted she must herself bear the responsibility. To designedly inflict conception upon an unwilling and resisting wife the husband makes himself guilty of great injustice, invades the personal rights of his wife as an individual, and is guilty of a great wrong.[Pg 153]

We believe that every thoughtful man and caring husband will agree that motherhood shouldn't be forced upon a wife who doesn't want it. No informed person can deny that many wives choose not to have children. Sometimes the reasons they give are not deserving of womanhood, being low and dishonorable. Other times, the reasons given by the wife deserve serious consideration. Regardless of whether the wife’s reasons are honorable or not, valid or questionable, it must be acknowledged that she is a free moral agent, and if she decides to decline one of the main purposes for which marriage exists, she must take responsibility for that choice. To intentionally cause conception in a reluctant and resistant wife, the husband commits a serious injustice, violates her personal rights as an individual, and commits a significant wrong.[Pg 153]

Where a wife is unwilling to become a mother, the best way for a husband to move her mind properly in this matter is to bring her under the influence of such books and teachings as will help her to understand her duty and obligation in this matter; help her to see that this is one of the great purposes for which marriage is instituted, and that where childbearing is intentionally and persistently evaded it becomes a crime against man and against God.

Where a wife is hesitant to become a mother, the best way for a husband to influence her thoughts on this issue is to expose her to books and teachings that will help her understand her responsibilities. He should help her see that having children is one of the key purposes of marriage, and that avoiding childbearing intentionally and repeatedly is wrong both for humanity and for God.

Many wives are not willing to consent to become mothers because they are unwilling to give up society; they prefer to live for the rounds of fashionable life. With others there is a dread of childbearing. This is not so common in brides or newly-married women; but with many, after they have given birth to one child they are unwilling ever to consent to a similar struggle. Had these young wives been made intelligent by their mothers, and been properly instructed upon these subjects before marriage, and lived according to the laws of hygiene and health during the period preceding the birth of their child, their experience might have been very different, and they would never have had the dread which comes to so many. There are good books upon this subject, and those who live hygienically and properly will find the terrors of childbearing greatly mitigated; indeed, they may be almost wholly alleviated. There are those who contend that childbearing may be rendered practically painless, and those who desire information upon[Pg 154] this subject would do well to read the book entitled "Maternity Without Suffering," which is worth many times its cost.[A]

Many wives are not willing to agree to become mothers because they don't want to give up their social lives; they prefer to enjoy the fashionable lifestyle. For others, there is a fear of childbirth. This isn’t as common among brides or newlywed women, but for many, after having their first child, they are unwilling to go through that experience again. If these young wives had been educated by their mothers, given proper guidance on these topics before marriage, and followed hygiene and health guidelines before giving birth, their experiences could have been very different, and they may not have faced the fears that affect so many. There are good resources on this topic, and those who live healthily and properly will find that the fears of childbirth are significantly reduced; in fact, they can be almost completely alleviated. Some argue that childbirth can be made nearly painless, and those looking for information on this topic should definitely read the book titled "Maternity Without Suffering," which is well worth its price.[Pg 154][A]

There are other women who dread the care and rearing of children, and there are still others whose aversion to childbearing is wholly due to their false ideas of life. To us, one of the saddest sights is a woman with a pronounced God-given mother-instinct who is unwilling to bear children, or, if she is the mother of children, is not willing to care for them, but thrusts them from her, committing them wholly to nurses and attendants, and then allows the mother-instinct to find its expression in petting a cat or mothering a dog.

There are women who dread taking care of and raising children, and there are others whose dislike for having kids comes from their misguided views on life. To us, one of the saddest sights is a woman with a strong, natural motherly instinct who refuses to have children, or if she is a mother, doesn’t want to care for them, pushing them away and leaving their upbringing entirely to nurses and caregivers, then letting her motherly instinct show by spoiling a cat or nurturing a dog.

No married woman should refuse to become a mother because of its perils. Statistics go to show that more unmarried women between the ages of twenty and forty-five die than of married women. God designed woman for motherhood, fitted her for its physical requirements, and her largest happiness, best health, greatest usefulness and longest life is attained by conformity to this divine purpose. Among the greatest sufferers in this world are the large numbers of those who have sought to defeat the purposes of God and have brought upon themselves untold misery. Obedience brings blessing. It is not only the end, but "the way of the transgressor" that is hard.

No married woman should turn down the chance to become a mother just because of the risks involved. Statistics show that more unmarried women between the ages of twenty and forty-five die than married women. God created women for motherhood, designed them for its physical demands, and the greatest happiness, health, usefulness, and longevity come from aligning with this divine purpose. Among the biggest sufferers in this world are the many who have tried to go against God’s intentions and brought upon themselves immense pain. Following His guidance brings blessings. It’s not just the end result that’s tough, but “the way of the transgressor” that is hard.

Parenthood is also essential to the rounding[Pg 155] out of the moral nature. That which is noblest and best in woman's nature is awakened and quickened when for the first time is folded to her breast a new life which is a part of herself. The child will teach her to be unselfish, to live for the happiness and well-being of another. Its government and discipline will awaken in her mind the principles which she desires to instil into the mind of her child, and as she gathers her little ones about her, tells them of God and heaven, and teaches them to lisp their infant prayer, her religious nature will attain unto a perfection and beauty which would not be possible under any other earthly influence.

Parenthood is also essential to developing the moral nature. The noblest and best parts of a woman's nature are awakened and stirred when she first holds a new life, which is a part of her. The child will teach her to be selfless, to focus on the happiness and well-being of another. Managing and guiding the child will bring to her mind the principles she wants to instill in her child's mind. As she gathers her little ones around her, explains God and heaven to them, and teaches them to say their first prayers, her spiritual nature will reach a level of perfection and beauty that wouldn't be possible under any other worldly influence.

The thoughtful and judicious wife also recognizes the fact that the presence of children in the home will exert an influence over the father which will refine, benefit and bless as no other influence on earth can. The little ones that reach out their hands in dependence toward him will inspire him to energy and effort in a higher, holier and nobler way than could ever be done by any commercial consideration. The noblest and most considerate manifestations of the father nature can in no other way be called into so full and beautiful an exercise as by the presence of children in the home. If the love for his children and the desire for their well-being and blessing do not teach him larger lessons of self-denial than he has ever known before, he will demonstrate that he is incapable of feeling the influence of the most potent incentive which God has permitted to come into human lives.[Pg 156]

The thoughtful and wise wife also understands that having children in the home will influence the father in a way that refines, benefits, and blesses him like no other force on Earth can. The little ones who reach out to him in dependence will motivate him to put in energy and effort in a higher, more noble way than any commercial interest ever could. The most beautiful and considerate expressions of a father's nature can only be fully realized through the presence of children at home. If his love for his children and desire for their well-being doesn't teach him greater lessons of selflessness than he has ever known, it will show that he cannot feel the impact of the greatest motivation that God has allowed in human lives.[Pg 156]

But the children will have an effect not only upon the parents individually, but they will bless both by drawing the husband and wife into a closer bond of sympathy and affection than would be possible under any other conditions. It has aptly been said that children are golden links that bind the husband and wife in a bond of closest endearment. They also serve as a buffer to break the jars of family life. These little ones awaken the best qualities in the natures of both parents. They enlarge and round out those qualities which would otherwise remain dwarfed and prematurely die. They afford a purpose in life for the father and mother, such as can be found in no other object upon earth.

But the children will not only impact the parents individually; they will also bring both of them together by creating a stronger bond of sympathy and affection than would be possible in any other situation. It has been said that children are golden links that connect the husband and wife in a deep, loving relationship. They also act as a buffer to ease the tensions of family life. These little ones bring out the best qualities in both parents. They enhance and develop those traits that might otherwise remain stunted and fade away. They give the father and mother a purpose in life that can't be found in anything else on earth.

In the study of their own children parents have an opportunity to learn human nature as they can learn it nowhere else. When their children are old enough they will criticise, suggest, and often help the parents to correct faults which would otherwise go unnoted and which could be properly criticised by no one else. It is the absence of this help which children bring into the home which oftentimes renders childless married people more faulty than others who have the advantage of such help. In times of trouble and trial the children will be prepared to comfort and sustain their parents. In times of sickness they will come with their sympathy and assistance, and when advancing years and the infirmities of age come they will be prepared to comfort and sustain their parents, and[Pg 157] in their declining years afford them a refuge and a home, and when death comes they will shed the tear of sympathy and over their graves will plant the flowers that shall bloom in beauty and fragrance.

In raising their own children, parents get a unique chance to understand human nature like they can't anywhere else. As their kids grow up, they will offer feedback, suggestions, and often help their parents fix issues that might otherwise go unnoticed, which no one else could criticize properly. This lack of assistance that children provide is often what makes childless couples more flawed than those who benefit from such support. During tough times, kids will be there to comfort and support their parents. In sickness, they'll offer sympathy and help. As their parents age and face physical challenges, they'll continue to provide comfort and support, giving them shelter and a place to call home in their later years. When death arrives, they'll share tears of sympathy and plant flowers over their graves that will bloom with beauty and fragrance.

That the mother-instinct exists in the hearts of infants is early seen in the desire upon the part of little girls to mother their dolls, whether they have been purchased at great cost or are made of a few old clothes rolled up into the shape of a rag-baby. Where a stranger is uncertain about the sex of a child it can usually be pretty certainly determined by asking whether they prefer a doll or a horse.

That the motherly instinct is present in the hearts of infants is quickly evident in little girls' desire to care for their dolls, whether they are expensive purchases or just rag dolls made from old clothes. When a stranger is unsure about a child's gender, it can usually be determined by asking if they prefer a doll or a horse.

It would be wrong, however, to suppose, because the little boy manifests the preference for a horse, that therefore he will never be interested in children. The pleasures and satisfactions of parenthood are as great to the father as to the mother, and while there is a difference between the mother-nature and the father-nature, yet, because of the terribly perverting influences of modern society, the desire for children is often stronger in the husband than in the wife. Where the natures of both are as God intended, sterility and barrenness would be alike a great disappointment for either. The desire for children is natural both to men and women, and in the home, as in universal nature, unfruitfulness and barrenness are a great misfortune.

It would be incorrect to assume that just because the little boy prefers horses, he will never be interested in other children. The joys and rewards of parenthood are just as significant for fathers as they are for mothers. While there are differences between maternal and paternal instincts, the harsh influences of modern society often make a man's desire for children even stronger than a woman's. When both parents' instincts align as intended, infertility and childlessness are equally disappointing for either. The desire for children is natural for both men and women, and in the home, just like in nature, the lack of fertility and the inability to have children is a significant misfortune.

About one marriage in eight or ten is usually barren of children. In the animal kingdom, and among insects especially, an abundance of[Pg 158] food is indispensable to a rapid increase of numbers by reproduction. In the human family the question of food as it stands related to the question of reproduction is an important one. If the food is insufficient, either in quantity or quality, to maintain good physical conditions, or if it is too abundant or too rich, a tendency to sterility and barrenness is alike the result. Illustrations are not wanting of persons who, possessing large wealth and allowing themselves great indulgence in eating, became fat and corpulent and remained childless, but when financial reverses came their corpulence departed with their wealth, and they became the parents of children.

About one in eight or ten marriages typically doesn’t have children. In the animal kingdom, especially among insects, having plenty of food is crucial for a rapid increase in population through reproduction. In humans, the relationship between food availability and reproduction is significant. If the food supply is lacking, either in amount or quality, and cannot support good health, or if it's excessive or overly rich, it can lead to issues with fertility and being unable to have kids. There are plenty of examples of wealthy individuals who, indulging in excessive eating, became overweight and childless, but when they faced financial difficulties and lost weight along with their wealth, they went on to become parents.

While the question of food is very important, it is not the only cause of barrenness. Sterility may be due to excessive sexuality in the marriage relation, or it may be due to such ante-nuptial indulgence of the husband as has resulted in a depleted condition of the reproductive organs. Sometimes it is due to apathy on the part of the wife, and at other times, although less frequent, it may be the result upon her part of too intense pleasure during coition.

While the issue of food is very important, it’s not the only reason for infertility. Sterility might result from excessive sexual activity in the marriage, or it could be caused by the husband’s pre-marital behaviors that have led to a weakened state of the reproductive organs. Sometimes, it’s due to the wife’s indifference, and other times—though less often—it may result from her experiencing too much pleasure during intercourse.

It may also be due to abnormal conditions produced by tampering with the reproductive function. In some instances there is a lack of such physiological compatibility as is necessary to result in conception. Instances are not wanting where barrenness has existed and the subsequent remarriage of both parties have demonstrated that neither were personally[Pg 159] sterile, but that unitedly they were physiologically incompatible.

It might also be because of abnormal conditions caused by interfering with the reproductive system. In some cases, there is a lack of the physiological compatibility needed for conception to occur. There are many examples where one or both parties were previously infertile, but after remarrying, it turned out that neither was actually sterile; rather, together they were physiologically incompatible.

Barrenness is oftentimes the result of displacement of the womb or other unfavorable conditions in the female. It would be wrong, however, to suppose that the difficulty may not rest wholly with the husband. Even where a man seems in good bodily vigor and enjoys excellent health, the sperm may be devoid of those characteristics which are essential to the production of life. This condition can only be determined by a competent physician with the aid of the microscope and other means. It is also asserted by reliable medical authority that miscarriage may take place so early after conception that the wife may never suspect the real condition, but imagine herself sterile.

Barrenness is often the result of the displacement of the womb or other unfavorable conditions in women. However, it would be incorrect to assume that the problem lies solely with the wife. Even when a man appears healthy and fit, his sperm may lack the vital qualities needed for conception. This situation can only be accurately assessed by a qualified doctor using a microscope and other methods. Reliable medical sources also state that a miscarriage can occur very early after conception, to the point where the wife might not realize she’s had one and instead think she’s infertile.

The cause of the barrenness of not a few women is clearly traceable to the fact that because of the impure life of the husband, either before or after marriage, he contracted gonorrhœa, and although at the time he may have thought it a small matter, and soon regarded himself as entirely cured, this terrible disease left its trace behind it, and perhaps two or three years afterward, when he entered the marriage relation, he imparted the hidden remnants of this disease to his innocent and unsuspecting wife, and in whom, perchance, the real disease has never been recognized at all, but the inflammation which it caused extended from the vagina to the womb, and then out through the tubes to the ovaries, and the delicate organs of reproduction[Pg 160] were so injured as to result in permanent barrenness.

The reason some women are infertile can often be traced back to their husband's previous unclean lifestyle, either before or after they got married, which led to him getting gonorrhea. Even if he thought it was no big deal at the time and believed he was fully cured, this serious disease left lasting effects. A couple of years later, when he married, he might unknowingly passed on the remnants of this disease to his innocent and unsuspecting wife. In her case, the actual disease might never have been recognized at all, but the inflammation it caused spread from the vagina to the uterus and then through the fallopian tubes to the ovaries. As a result, the sensitive reproductive organs were damaged, leading to permanent infertility.[Pg 160]

The cure for barrenness is found in remedying the cause. To discover what that cause is often requires the consultation and advice of a thoroughly competent physician, and to arrive at the most reliable conclusion a physical examination of the wife or the husband, or of both, may be necessary.

The solution for infertility lies in addressing the underlying cause. Identifying that cause often necessitates consulting a qualified doctor, and to reach the most accurate conclusion, a physical examination of the wife, the husband, or both might be needed.

Where no means have been used to prevent conception, and the young wife has remained childless for a period of three years, there is adequate ground for a reasonable fear that causes exist, either in the husband or in the wife, which are likely to result in permanent sterility, and then no time should be lost to discover and remove the cause or causes.

Where no methods have been used to prevent conception, and the young wife has been unable to have children for three years, there are valid reasons to be concerned that there may be issues, either with the husband or the wife, that could lead to permanent infertility. In that case, it’s important to quickly identify and address the underlying cause or causes.

The earlier years of married life are usually more fruitful than the years later on. Even where marriage is contracted after twenty-five years of age, the tendency towards sterility is easily perceptible. Marriage, either at too early or too late a period, tends to barrenness. Upon the part of the female the years from eighteen to twenty-four are likely to be the best years for marriage and maternity. Sometimes there is barrenness for a period of years, and this is followed by a period of quite frequent childbearing.

The early years of marriage are usually more productive than the later ones. Even when people marry after 25, the likelihood of being unable to have children becomes noticeable. Marrying too early or too late often leads to infertility. For women, the ages between 18 and 24 are generally the best years for marriage and having children. Sometimes there can be years of infertility, followed by a time with a lot of pregnancies.

Barrenness may frequently be remedied by the exercise of great care upon the part of both the husband and the wife in the matter of diet and proper physical exercise. Sometimes a[Pg 161] period of separation, varying from a few weeks to several months, is necessary to effect such physical changes as are requisite to the desired result. Single beds and separate apartments are sometimes essential, not only in order to secure conception, but to protect the beginnings of life from such disturbing influences as tend to produce the abnormal ejection of the embryo from its place of retention and growth in the womb.

Barrenness can often be addressed by both the husband and wife taking great care with their diet and getting the right physical exercise. Sometimes a[Pg 161] period of separation, ranging from a few weeks to several months, is needed to bring about the necessary physical changes for the desired outcome. Having single beds and separate rooms can be crucial, not just to help with conception, but also to protect the early stages of life from any disruptive influences that might lead to the abnormal expulsion of the embryo from its place in the womb.

[A] "Maternity Without Suffering," by Dr. Emma F. A. Drake. Cloth binding. Price fifty cents. Published by the Vir Publishing Company.

[A] "Maternity Without Suffering," by Dr. Emma F. A. Drake. Hardcover. Price fifty cents. Published by the Vir Publishing Company.


CHAPTER XII.

QUESTIONS CONCERNING OFFSPRING.

It is natural that parents should long for children, and it is only proper that those who are barren should seek by all judicious and proper means to secure fruitfulness. But we are sorry to say that there is a widely prevalent and unnatural desire upon the part of many wives, and sometimes of their husbands also, to evade conception. This desire oftentimes leads these unnatural parents to seek the destruction of unborn human life. If the testimony of medical authority upon this subject is to be believed, this mania for child-murder is verily the "terror that walketh in darkness and the destruction that wasteth at noonday."

It is natural for parents to want children, and it makes sense for those who are unable to have them to use all sensible and proper methods to achieve that goal. However, it's unfortunate that many wives—and sometimes their husbands—have an unnatural desire to avoid conception. This desire often drives these unnatural parents to seek to end unborn human life. If we are to trust medical authorities on this matter, this obsession with ending pregnancies is truly the "terror that walks in darkness and the destruction that wastes at noonday."

It is the duty of parents to protect the lives of their children, and the mother who desires or even consents to the murder of the infant in the cradle where God has placed it preparatory to its birth is as truly a murderer as when she strangles or stabs or poisons her infant in the cradle in which she has placed it after it is born. That the law recognizes the gravity of this crime is manifest by the fact that in nearly all the States of the Union this crime is regarded as murder, and punished accordingly. In some States, if the mother is proven guilty, the penalty is death, and in[Pg 163] nearly all the States all who participate, have knowledge of, or assist, directly or indirectly, in producing such a result, are punished with imprisonment ranging from five to twenty years.

It is the responsibility of parents to protect their children's lives, and a mother who wishes for or even agrees to the killing of the infant in the cradle where God has placed it before its birth is just as much a murderer as if she were to strangle, stab, or poison her child in the cradle after it is born. The law acknowledges the seriousness of this crime, evident in the fact that in nearly all states in the U.S., this act is classified as murder and is punished accordingly. In some states, if the mother is found guilty, the penalty is death, and in[Pg 163] nearly all states, anyone who participates, is aware of, or helps, directly or indirectly, in causing such an outcome, faces imprisonment ranging from five to twenty years.

It has been supposed by some that where the beginnings of life are destroyed before the period of quickening, no crime is committed. This is a great mistake. From the moment that the spermatozoön penetrates the ovum and unites with it, life is present, and the destruction of that life is murder. The proposition is a very simple one. The only condition upon which the ovum may remain in the womb is by possessing life. As soon as it becomes dead it is rejected and cast out. If impregnated, while life continues in it, during its period of development, if nature is not interfered with, it is retained and nourished because it has life. The facts are simple enough: the germ is either dead or alive. If dead, nature casts it out; if alive, nature retains it. If nature retains it, and it is destroyed or removed by artificial means, the person or persons who produce such a result are guilty of murder.

Some people believe that if life starts and then ends before quickening, no crime has taken place. This is a serious misconception. From the moment a sperm cell enters the egg and merges with it, life begins, and ending that life is murder. The concept is straightforward. The only reason the egg can stay in the womb is that it is alive. Once it dies, it is expelled. If it’s fertilized and remains alive during its development, as long as nature is not interrupted, it stays and is nourished because it has life. The facts are clear: the embryo is either dead or alive. If it's dead, nature expels it; if it's alive, nature keeps it. If nature keeps it and it is then destroyed or removed through artificial means, those responsible for that outcome are committing murder.

There is no middle ground in this matter. Dr. H. S. Pomeroy, in his excellent book entitled "Ethics of Marriage," aptly says: "She who obtains a miscarriage at the earlier months of pregnancy feels comparatively virtuous because she draws the line at 'quickening.' This is moral jugglery and ethical hair-splitting; what evidence is there of soul at five months which may not be found at four? True, the un[Pg 164]born child of the latter age does not appear to move its legs and arms, while the other usually does. Is the spirit situated in the extremities, or is the movement of a muscle evidence of a soul? Considered from the low plane of physical life only, what reason is there for the distinction? There has been life from the first; there is no independent life until birth. It is reasonable to suppose that the Creator, who has been steadily at work for four months and fifteen days on one of the most delicate and complicated pieces in his whole laboratory, and has made no mistake thus far—the work being absolutely perfect as far as carried—considers it of little or no consequence to-day, but of the utmost importance and value when it shall have been in his hands a few hours longer!"

There is no middle ground in this matter. Dr. H. S. Pomeroy, in his excellent book titled "Ethics of Marriage," aptly states: "A woman who experiences a miscarriage in the early months of pregnancy feels somewhat virtuous because she draws the line at 'quickening.' This is moral juggling and ethical hair-splitting; what evidence is there of a soul at five months that isn’t present at four? True, the unborn child at five months doesn’t seem to move its legs and arms, while the one at four usually does. Is the spirit located in the extremities, or is muscle movement evidence of a soul? When viewed solely from the basic perspective of physical life, what reason is there for the distinction? There has been life from the very beginning; there is no independent life until birth. It makes sense to think that the Creator, who has been diligently working for four months and fifteen days on one of the most delicate and complex creations in his entire laboratory, and has made no mistakes so far—the work being absolutely perfect up to this point—considers it to be of little or no consequence today, but incredibly important and valuable once it has been in his hands just a few hours longer!"

Dr. Napheys, in "Physical Life of Woman," says: "From the moment of conception a new life commences; a new individual exists; another child is added to the family. The mother who deliberately sets about to destroy this life, either by want of care, or by taking drugs, or using instruments, commits as great a crime, is just as guilty, as if she strangled her newborn infant, or as if she snatched from her own breast her six months darling and dashed out its brains against the wall. The blood is upon her head, and as surely as there is a God and a judgment that blood will be required of her. The crime she commits is murder, child-murder—the slaughter of a speechless, helpless[Pg 165] being, whom it is her duty, beyond all things else, to cherish and preserve."

Dr. Napheys, in "Physical Life of Woman," says: "From the moment of conception a new life begins; a new individual exists; another child is added to the family. The mother who intentionally sets out to end this life, whether through neglect, taking drugs, or using instruments, commits just as grave a crime and is as guilty as if she strangled her newborn baby or snatched her six-month-old darling from her breast and smashed its head against the wall. The responsibility is on her, and as surely as there is a God and a judgment, she will be held accountable for that blood. The crime she commits is murder, child-murder—the slaughter of a voiceless, helpless[Pg 165] being, whom it is her duty above all else to care for and protect."

There is no division of opinion upon this subject. The world may hold up its hands in holy horror at the crime of Herod, but his crime is being perpetrated to-day in thousands of homes by "the slaughter of the innocents" at the hands of their own mothers. Dr. Pomeroy says: "We meet in our practice women who would hesitate to harm a fly, but who admit to having destroyed a half dozen or more of their unborn children, speaking of it as they would of the drowning of superfluous kittens." How are these thoughtless mother-murderesses to confront the souls of their unborn children on the day of Judgment? What of the declaration of Scripture, "Ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him"? While this passage of Scripture does not say that even a murderer may not be saved, yet it does say that one who commits murder is unsaved, and that salvation is not possible to him or her until they have sincerely repented.

There’s no disagreement on this issue. The world can raise its hands in shock at Herod's crime, but that crime is happening today in thousands of homes through "the slaughter of the innocents" by their own mothers. Dr. Pomeroy states: "We encounter women in our practice who wouldn’t hurt a fly, yet admit to having ended the lives of half a dozen or more of their unborn children, discussing it as casually as one would the drowning of unwanted kittens." How are these careless mother-murderers supposed to face the souls of their unborn children on Judgment Day? What about the declaration in Scripture, "You know that no murderer has eternal life dwelling in them"? While this verse doesn’t say that even a murderer cannot be saved, it does indicate that someone who commits murder is not saved, and that salvation is unattainable until they sincerely repent.

The results of abortion are not only future and spiritual, but they are present, and affect serious temporal and physical results. Dr. Napheys says: "If they have no feeling for the fruit of their womb, if maternal sentiment is so calloused in their breasts, let them know that such produced abortions are the constant cause of violent and dangerous womb diseases, and frequently of early death; that they bring on mental weakness and often insanity; that they[Pg 166] are the most certain means to destroy domestic happiness which can be adopted. Better, far better, bear a child every year for twenty years than to resort to such a wicked and injurious step; better to die, if need be, in the pangs of childbirth than to live with such a weight of sin on the conscience."

The effects of abortion are not just future and spiritual; they also have present consequences that can lead to serious physical and emotional issues. Dr. Napheys states: "If they have no compassion for the life they carry, if the maternal instinct is so dulled within them, let them understand that having abortions is a common cause of severe and dangerous reproductive health problems, and often leads to premature death; that it can cause mental instability and even insanity; that they [Pg 166] are one of the most certain ways to destroy family happiness. It's far better to bring a child into the world every year for twenty years than to take such a harmful and immoral action; it's better to face death, if necessary, during childbirth than to live with such a heavy burden of guilt."

There can be no question but that many women are rendered incurable invalids by the violence which they do to nature by interrupting its work, destroying the growing life, and causing its expulsion in an unnatural way. Dr. Pomeroy aptly says: "Go into the orchard where there are ripe apples and others but half grown; try to pluck one of the latter; you pull, but it does not come; you twist this way and that way, and finally you secure a bruised apple with a torn and mutilated stem, and you leave behind a branch which bears unmistakable evidence of a violent and unnatural act. Turn now to the apples that are fully ripe; you put out your hand to take one, and as you touch it it falls gently and willingly into your open palm. If you now examine the stem and the branch from which it came you find no marks of violence; on the contrary, both will clearly show that nature had prepared for the separation.

There’s no doubt that many women become lifelong invalids due to the harm they do to their bodies by interrupting natural processes, destroying developing life, and forcing its removal in an unnatural way. Dr. Pomeroy aptly states: "Go into the orchard where there are ripe apples and some that are still growing; try to pick one of the latter; you pull, but it doesn’t come; you twist this way and that, and eventually you end up with a bruised apple with a broken and damaged stem, leaving behind a branch that clearly shows signs of a violent and unnatural act. Now look at the fully ripe apples; you reach out to take one, and as you touch it, it falls gently and willingly into your open palm. If you examine the stem and the branch it came from, you’ll find no signs of violence; instead, they clearly indicate that nature prepared for this separation."

"The two great dangers of childbearing are hemorrhage and fever; the first is caused directly and the second often indirectly by one and the same thing—the failure of the torn blood-vessel to close properly at the time of separation between mother and child. By the[Pg 167] time the fruit is fully ripe Nature has so well arranged for this matter that the danger is small, but at an earlier period it is very considerable."

"The two major risks of childbirth are bleeding and fever; the first is caused directly, while the second is often indirectly caused by the same issue—the inability of the torn blood vessel to close properly during the separation of mother and child. By the[Pg 167] time the baby is fully developed, Nature has arranged everything so well that the risk is low, but at an earlier stage, it is quite significant."

This attempt upon the part of parents to interfere with the order of nature has not only its terrible physical results for those who seek its perpetration, but it heaps upon the helpless unborn child terrible consequences from which it is powerless to escape. The attempt to destroy life is oftentimes a double failure. In spite of their murderous efforts, children are oftentimes born to such parents under circumstances which entail the most terrible and lifelong penalties. Children that might have been lovable in temper, companionable in disposition, healthy and happy, are born nervous, fretful and ill-tempered; and, because they were unwanted before they were born, the mother inflicts upon them a disposition which causes her ever after to wish they never had been born.

This attempt by parents to interfere with the natural order not only leads to severe physical consequences for those who try to make it happen, but it also burdens the helpless unborn child with awful outcomes from which it cannot escape. The effort to end life often results in a double failure. Despite their harmful intentions, children are frequently born to such parents under conditions that impose the most terrible and lifelong penalties. Children who could have been loving, sociable, healthy, and happy come into the world nervous, irritable, and bad-tempered; and because they were unwanted before birth, the mother unwittingly places a burden on them that makes her wish they had never been born.

Something of what this result is will appear from a paragraph taken from an account by Helen H. Thomas, in "The Mothers' Journal," entitled "Unwanted," in which she thus narrates a visit to a friend:

Something of what this result is will appear from a paragraph taken from an account by Helen H. Thomas, in "The Mothers' Journal," entitled "Unwanted," in which she thus narrates a visit to a friend:

"I found my friend half sick, and extremely nervous from lack of sleep, caused by her crying baby.

"I found my friend half sick and extremely anxious from lack of sleep, which was caused by her crying baby."

"But the child looked well, and the young mother assured me that it was constitutionally restless and out of sorts. She also said that she had lost more sleep since his advent—five[Pg 168] months previous—than with all her other children—there are three of them—combined.

"But the child looked healthy, and the young mother told me that he was naturally fidgety and not feeling great. She also mentioned that she had lost more sleep since he arrived—five[Pg 168] months ago—than with all her other children—there are three of them—together."

"After I had queried and wondered as to the why of it, for a time, the mother, with tears in her eyes, looked down at the little upturned face of the one cradled in her arms, and said:

"After I had asked myself why for a while, the mother, with tears in her eyes, looked down at the little face turned up to her from the arms, and said:"

"'It is all mother's fault, darling! She felt that her hands and heart were so full she had no room for you.' And then, looking me full in the face, she added, remorsefully: He is my only unwanted child! And so the dear little innocent suffers continually for my rebellious spirit prior to his birth. He seems restless and unhappy all the time; not at all like my other babies, who found a welcome awaiting them; and I realize now the mistake I made, in rebelling as I did, during those wearisome months, which I had planned so full of things which had to be put aside; and I am being punished for it, too. But I did not dream that by so doing I should bring suffering on my unborn child, as well as on myself."

"'It's all my mother's fault, darling! She felt like her hands and heart were so full that she had no room for you.' And then, looking me directly in the face, she added, regretfully: He is my only unwanted child! And so the dear little innocent suffers constantly because of my rebellious spirit before his birth. He seems restless and unhappy all the time; not at all like my other babies, who were welcomed with open arms; and I realize now the mistake I made by rebelling during those exhausting months, which I had planned to fill with so many things that had to be set aside; and I'm being punished for it, too. But I never imagined that by doing so I would bring suffering to my unborn child, as well as to myself."

Terrible as this picture may be, there is another thought which is still more terrible. When we remember that the mental condition of the mother during the period of gestation stamps itself upon the character of the child, what must be the character of a child who is born of a murderess—one who has either desired, planned for, or possibly undertaken and failed in the effort to murder her unborn child? How many of the murderers of to-day have inherited from their own mothers the predisposition to destroy[Pg 169] human life? There is but little doubt that if the veil could be thrown off and the influence disclosed which molded the character and shaped the destiny of many of the children who are arraigned in the courts for the awful crime of murder, who seem possessed of an otherwise unaccountable predisposition to destroy human life, the terrible revelation would be made that during the period while their body was being formed and bent was being given to their character, prior to their birth, their mother was contemplating murder, and imparted this disposition to her own offspring.

As awful as this image may be, there's an even more disturbing thought. When we consider that a mother's mental state during pregnancy impacts the child's character, what kind of person is born from a mother who is a murderer—one who has wished for, planned, or possibly attempted to kill her unborn child? How many of today's murderers have inherited the tendency to kill from their own mothers? There's little doubt that if we could uncover the influences that shaped the character and determined the fate of many children facing murder charges—who seem to have an otherwise inexplicable urge to take human life—we would discover that during the time their bodies were being formed and their characters were being shaped before birth, their mother was thinking about murder and passed this tendency on to them.

Such thoughts not only mold the character of the unborn child, but they also affect the character of the parents themselves. The crime of child-murder must haunt them, and even if they do not suffer from the lashings of conscience, the moral character suffers irreparable damage.

Such thoughts not only shape the character of the unborn child, but they also impact the character of the parents themselves. The crime of child murder must weigh heavily on them, and even if they don't feel tormented by their conscience, their moral character suffers irreparable harm.

But few persons are aware of the grave dangers which threaten health, and even life, when an abortion is performed. They are apt to think that it occasions only temporary inconvenience, from which they may recover in a few days, but all this is a very grave mistake.

But few people realize the serious dangers that threaten health and even life when an abortion is performed. They tend to believe it only causes temporary discomfort, from which they can recover in a few days, but all this is a very serious mistake.

Where accidental or unintentional miscarriage occurs, it is important both for the wife and for the husband to know that quite as much care needs to be exercised, and oftentimes for even as long a period, as for convalescence after confinement. A period of strict separation between husband and wife should be observed[Pg 170] for a period of from six weeks to three months, according to circumstances. A failure to observe these necessities often results in serious and sometimes permanent disability upon the part of the wife.

Where accidental or unintentional miscarriage happens, it's important for both the wife and the husband to understand that just as much care needs to be taken, and often for just as long, as during recovery after childbirth. A period of strict separation between husband and wife should be maintained[Pg 170] for six weeks to three months, depending on the situation. Ignoring these necessities can often lead to serious and sometimes permanent health issues for the wife.

The influences which prepare and pave the way in the minds of young women for the awful crime of child-murder are not difficult to find. One writer says: "The real beginning is in early life, when young people are taught, directly or by implication, that reproduction is a matter concerning which speech is indelicate, of which it is proper, even, to feel ashamed; as they grow older, and the period of marriage draws near, they learn to look upon parenthood as a responsibility and a burden which they may properly avoid if possible."

The factors that shape young women's minds and lead them toward the terrible act of child murder are not hard to identify. One writer notes: "It all starts in childhood, when young people are taught, either directly or indirectly, that talking about reproduction is inappropriate and something to be ashamed of. As they get older and approach marriage, they begin to see parenthood as a responsibility and a burden that they might be able to escape if they want to."

Parents are to blame for the total absence, during the education of their daughters, of proper instruction upon this subject. In the schools for the education of young women the course of study which has been especially arranged for the intellectual training and equipment of young men has been followed without being adapted to the special necessities of intelligent young women. They are taught many things which may serve a good purpose in securing mental discipline, but which are in every other respect impracticable, and, so far as the great purposes of their life are concerned, wholly useless. All the subjects which are best calculated to fit them for their intended position of wife and mother are studiously avoided;[Pg 171] they are kept in profound ignorance on all subjects of special physiology, and the question of maternity dare not so much as be mentioned by the professors in the class-room. What adds to this condition is the sad fact that parents do not supplement by personal instruction this lack of teaching in the school. Hundreds of young women are married who are so stupid as never to have asked where children come from, have no idea of the marital relation and the legitimate purpose for which God instituted the relation. When conception takes place, they do not know how to take care of themselves or prepare for the event which could be robbed of its terrors by intelligence. The birth of their first child is attended with such anguish and agony that forever after the marital relation becomes to them one of great dread, and to escape the condition which is so full of terror to them they resort to the destruction of unborn human life.

Parents are responsible for the complete lack of proper education about this subject during their daughters' upbringing. In schools for young women, the curriculum mainly mirrors that of young men without being tailored to the specific needs of intelligent young women. They learn many things that may help with mental development, but which are otherwise impractical and ultimately useless for their future roles in life. Topics that would best prepare them for becoming wives and mothers are intentionally avoided; they are kept completely in the dark about important physiology and the topic of maternity is rarely, if ever, brought up by teachers in the classroom. Adding to this issue is the unfortunate reality that parents do not fill this educational gap with personal guidance. Many young women get married without ever having questioned where children come from, lacking any understanding of marriage and the purpose behind it as intended by God. When they do become pregnant, they are unprepared to care for themselves or brace for the experience, which could be less frightening with proper knowledge. The birth of their first child can be so painful and traumatic that it casts a lasting shadow over their view of marriage, leading them to fear it greatly and, to escape what they find terrifying, they may choose to terminate a pregnancy.

To correct this great wrong, the first and most essential step is the widespread dissemination of intelligence upon this subject. Marriage needs to be lifted into the light of a sacred and divine institution. The tenderest and most sacred relations of human life need to be preserved in their purity, so that pure-minded parents may speak of these relations without shame and blushing. Young women of mature years should be made familiar with the physiological conditions which attend conception and maternity, and they need to know that from the[Pg 172] moment of conception life exists in the embryo, and that from the moment the spermatozoön enters and assimilates with the ovum a separate individual life is really begun, and that she is, at that very moment, the mother of this life within her as truly as when, in the later months, she feels the quickening within her, or after its birth experiences the joy of a mother who clasps her newborn infant in her arms.

To fix this serious issue, the first and most important step is to spread knowledge about this topic widely. Marriage should be seen as a sacred and divine institution. The most tender and sacred relationships in human life need to be kept pure, so that open-minded parents can talk about these relationships without shame or embarrassment. Young women of a suitable age should be educated about the physiological aspects of conception and motherhood, and they should understand that from the moment of conception, life exists in the embryo. They need to realize that when the sperm meets the egg, a separate individual life begins, and that is when she becomes a mother to this life inside her, just as she will feel its movement in later months or experience the joy of holding her newborn baby in her arms after birth.

But the crime of abortion does not rest wholly with the mothers. A large part of the guilt also belongs to the fathers. We may warn the wives against the terrible sin and awful physical consequences of abortion, but so long as husbands are unwilling to govern their passions, or to regulate their marital relations in harmony with the teachings of Scripture, but insist upon unlimited self-indulgence, the evils cannot be wholly corrected. Husbands need to be taught to look at the question from the wife's standpoint. The wrong is not all upon one side.

But the issue of abortion isn't solely the mother's fault. A significant portion of the responsibility also lies with the fathers. We can warn the wives about the serious sin and terrible physical consequences of abortion, but as long as husbands refuse to control their desires or manage their marital relationships in line with biblical teachings, and continue to prioritize their own indulgence, the problems can’t be completely resolved. Husbands need to learn to consider the situation from their wives' perspective. The wrongdoing isn’t all on one side.

In a meeting of women only, after an address by a physician upon these subjects, a woman rose and said substantially as follows: "After I was married two years I became the mother of a puny, sickly baby. It required incessant care and watching to keep it alive. When it was only seven months old, to my surprise, astonishment and horror, I felt quickening, and for the first time I knew I was pregnant again. I was abased, humiliated! The sense of degradation that filled my soul cannot be described. What had been done? The babe that was[Pg 173] born and the babe that was unborn were both to be robbed of their just inheritance. In tears and shame I told my mother, but she said: 'My child, why should you grieve and go on as you do? Don't you know that your children are legitimate?' My whole being rose in rebellion. I stamped my foot and almost screamed: 'Although my husband is the father of my children, they are not legitimate. No man-made laws, no priestly rites, can make an act legitimate that deprives innocent children of their right to life and health.' And then, with sobs and moans, reaction came, and I fainted in my mother's arms. What was the sequel? Two years later both of these children, after a brief existence, were lying side by side in the city of the dead, and until my husband and I learned the great laws which God has written deep in our being, we were not able to have children that could live."

In a meeting of only women, after a talk by a doctor on these topics, one woman stood up and said roughly this: "After I had been married for two years, I became the mother of a weak, sickly baby. It took constant care and attention to keep it alive. When it was just seven months old, to my surprise, shock, and horror, I felt movement, and for the first time I realized I was pregnant again. I felt ashamed and humiliated! The sense of degradation that filled my soul is hard to describe. What had happened? The baby that was born and the baby that was not yet born were both going to be deprived of their rightful inheritance. In tears and shame, I confided in my mother, but she said: 'My child, why should you be upset and act this way? Don't you know that your children are legitimate?' My whole being rebelled against that. I stamped my foot and almost shouted: 'Even though my husband is the father of my children, they are not legitimate. No human laws, no religious rituals, can make an act legitimate that denies innocent children their right to life and health.' Then, with sobs and cries, I passed out in my mother's arms. What happened next? Two years later, both of those children, after a short life, were laid to rest side by side in the cemetery, and until my husband and I learned the vital truths that God has instilled deep within us, we were unable to have children who could survive."

The following somewhat lengthy but impressive quotation is from "Chastity," by Doctor Dio Lewis:

The following somewhat lengthy but impressive quote is from "Chastity," by Dr. Dio Lewis:

"Before we married I informed my husband of my dread of having children. I told him I was not prepared to meet the sufferings and responsibilities of maternity. He entered into an arrangement to prevent it for a specified time. This agreement was disregarded. After the legal form was over, and he felt he could now indulge his passion without loss of reputation and under legal and religious sanctions, he insisted on the surrender of my person to his[Pg 174] will. He violated the promise at the beginning of our united life. That fatal bridal night! It has left a cloud on my soul and on my home that can never pass away on earth. I can never forget it. It sealed the doom of our union as it has done of thousands.

"Before we got married, I told my husband about my fear of having kids. I explained that I wasn’t ready to deal with the struggles and responsibilities of motherhood. He agreed to take measures to prevent it for a certain period. This agreement was ignored. Once the legal part was completed, and he felt he could pursue his desires without damaging his reputation, protected by legal and religious approval, he demanded that I submit to his will. He broke that promise at the start of our life together. That terrible wedding night! It left a lasting shadow on my heart and our home that will never fade away on earth. I can never forget it. It marked the beginning of the end for our marriage as it has for so many others."

"He was in feeble health; so was I; and both of us mentally depressed. But the sickly germ was implanted, and conception took place. We were poor and destitute, having made no preparations for a home, ourselves and child. I was a stricken woman. In September following we came to——, and settled in a new country. In the March following, my child, developed under a heart throbbing with dread and anguish at the thought of its existence, was born. After three months' struggle I became reconciled to my first unwelcome child. But the impress of my impatience and hostility to its existence previous to its birth was on my child, never to be effaced, and to this hour that child is the victim or an undesired maternity.

"He was in poor health; so was I; and we were both feeling down. But the sickness was already inside us, and we ended up conceiving. We were broke and unprepared, without a home for ourselves and the baby. I was a devastated woman. In September, we moved to—— and settled in a new area. By March, my child, conceived under the weight of fear and pain regarding its existence, was born. After three months of struggle, I started to accept my first unplanned child. But the mark of my frustration and resentment toward its existence before it was born has remained on my child, never to go away, and to this day, that child is a victim of an unwanted motherhood."

"In one year I found I was to be again a mother. I was in a state of frightful despair. My first-born was sickly and very troublesome (how could it be otherwise?) needing constant care and nursing. My husband chopped wood for our support. Of the injustice of bringing children into the world to struggle with poverty and misery I was then as sensible as now. I was in despair. I felt that death would be preferable to maternity under such circumstances. A desire and a determination to get rid of my[Pg 175] child entered into my heart. I consulted a lady friend, and by her persuasion and assistance killed it. Within less than a year maternity was again imposed upon me, with no better prospect of doing justice to my child. It was a most painful conviction to me; I felt that I could not have another child at that time. All seemed dark as death. I had begged and prayed to be spared this trial again until I was prepared to accept it joyfully; but my husband insisted upon his gratification, without regard to my wishes and condition.

"In a year, I found out I was going to be a mother again. I was in a state of terrible despair. My first child was sickly and very difficult (how could it be any different?), needing constant care and attention. My husband chopped wood to support us. I understood the injustice of bringing children into a world filled with poverty and suffering, just as well then as I do now. I was desperate. I felt that death would be better than being a mother in such circumstances. A desire and determination to get rid of my[Pg 175]child took hold of me. I talked to a female friend, and with her encouragement and help, I ended the pregnancy. Less than a year later, I was faced with motherhood again, with no better hope of being able to care for my child. It was an incredibly painful realization; I felt I could not have another child at that time. Everything felt as dark as death. I had begged and prayed to be spared from this trial until I was ready to embrace it joyfully; but my husband was focused on his own desires, without considering my feelings and situation."

"I consulted a physician, and told him of my unhappy state of mind and my aversion to having another child for the present. He was ready with his logic, his medicines and instruments, and told me how to destroy it. After experimenting on myself three months, I was successful. I killed my child about five months after conception.

"I consulted a doctor and shared my feelings of distress and my reluctance to have another child right now. He quickly responded with his reasoning, medications, and tools, advising me on how to terminate the pregnancy. After trying various methods on my own for three months, I managed to do it. I ended my pregnancy about five months after conception."

"A few months after this, maternity was again forced upon me, to my grief and anguish. I determined again on my child's destruction; but my courage failed as I came to the practical deed. My health and life were in jeopardy. For my living child's sake I wished to live. I made up my mind to do the best I could for my unborn babe, whose existence seemed so unnatural and repulsive. I knew its young life would be deeply and lastingly affected by my mental and physical condition. I became, in a measure, reconciled to my dark fate, and was as resigned and happy as I could be under the[Pg 176] circumstances. I had just such a child as I had every reason to expect. I could do no justice to it. How could I?

A few months later, I found myself facing motherhood again, which brought me pain and sorrow. I considered ending my child's life once more, but I lost courage when it came time to act. My health and life were at risk. For the sake of my living child, I wanted to survive. I resolved to do my best for my unborn baby, whose existence felt so unnatural and unappealing. I knew that its young life would be heavily influenced by my mental and physical state. I began to accept my grim fate, trying to be as content and at peace as possible given the circumstances. I had exactly the kind of child I had every reason to expect. I couldn't do it justice. How could I?

"Soon after the birth of my child my husband insisted on his accustomed injustice. Without any wish of my own, maternity was again forced upon me. I dared not attempt to get rid of the child—abortion seemed so cruel, so inhuman, unnatural and repulsive. I resolved again, for my child's sake, to do the best I could for it. Though I could not joyfully welcome, I resolved quietly to endure its existence.

"Soon after my child was born, my husband insisted on continuing his usual unfairness. I had no desire for it, but motherhood was once more thrust upon me. I didn't dare think about getting rid of the child—abortion felt too cruel, inhumane, unnatural, and repulsive. I decided again, for my child's sake, to do my best for it. Even though I couldn’t joyfully welcome it, I resolved to quietly endure its existence."

"After the birth of this child I felt that I could have no more to share our poverty and to suffer the wrongs and trials of an unwelcome existence. I felt that I would rather die at once, and thus end my life and my power to be a mother together. My husband cast the entire care of the family on me. I had scarcely one hour to devote to my children. My husband still insisted on his gratification. I was the veriest slave alive. Life had lost its charms. The grave seemed my only refuge and death my only friend.

"After this child was born, I felt like I couldn’t endure any more of our poverty or the struggles and hardships of an unwanted life. I thought I’d rather die right now and end both my life and my ability to be a mother. My husband put all the family responsibilities on me. I barely had an hour to spend with my children. My husband still demanded his own satisfaction. I felt like the most miserable person alive. Life had lost its appeal. The grave felt like my only escape and death my only ally."

"In this state, known as it was to my husband, he thrust maternity upon me twice. I employed a doctor to kill my child, and in the destruction of it, in what should have been the vigor of my life, ended my power to be a mother. I was shorn of the brightest jewel of my womanhood. I suffered as woman alone can suffer, not only in body, but in bitter remorse and anguish of soul.[Pg 177]

"In this situation, as my husband was aware, he pushed me into motherhood twice. I hired a doctor to terminate my pregnancy, and in doing so, during what should have been the peak of my life, I also lost my ability to be a mother. I was deprived of the most precious aspect of my womanhood. I endured pain like only a woman can, not just physically, but through deep remorse and anguish of the soul.[Pg 177]

"All this I passed through under the terrible, withering consciousness that it was all done and suffered solely that the passion of my husband might have a momentary indulgence. Yet such had been my false religious and social education that, in submitting my person to his passion, I did it in the honest conviction that in marriage my body became the property of my husband. He said so. All women to whom I applied for counsel said it was my duty to submit, that husbands expected it, had a right to it, and must have this indulgence whenever they were excited, or suffer, and that in this way alone could wives retain the love of their husbands. I had no alternative but silent, suffering submission to his passion, and then procure abortion or leave him, and thus resign my children to the tender mercies of one with whom it seemed I could not live myself. Abortion was most repulsive to every feeling of my nature, and at times rendered me an object of loathing to myself.

"All of this I went through under the terrible, withering awareness that it was all done and endured solely for my husband's temporary satisfaction. Yet, my misguided religious and social upbringing led me to believe that by submitting my body to his desires, I was fulfilling my duty in marriage. He stated that clearly. Every woman I turned to for advice told me it was my obligation to comply, that husbands expected it, had a right to it, and needed this indulgence whenever they felt aroused, or they would suffer. They said that this was the only way wives could keep their husbands' love. I felt I had no choice but to submit silently and suffer through his desires and then either seek an abortion or leave him, which meant abandoning my children to someone I couldn't even bear to live with myself. The thought of abortion was completely repulsive to me, and at times it made me loathe myself."

"When my first-born was three months old I had a desperate struggle for personal liberty. My husband insisted on his right to subject my person to his passion before my babe was two months old. I saw his conduct then in all its degrading and loathing injustice. I pleaded with tears and anguish, for my own and my child's sake, to be spared; and had it not been for my helpless child, I should have ended the struggle by bolting my legal bonds. For its sake I submitted to that outrage and my own[Pg 178] conscious degradation. For its sake I concluded to take my chance in the world with other wives and mothers who, as they assured me, and as I then knew, were all around me, subjected to like outrages, and driven to the degrading practice of abortion. But even then I saw and argued the justice of my personal rights in regard to maternity and the relation that leads to it, as strongly as you do now. I saw it all as clearly as you do. I was then, amid all the degrading influences that crushed me, true and just to my womanly intuitions. I insisted on my right to say when and under what circumstances I would accept of him the office of maternity and become the mother of his child. I insisted that it was for me to say when and how often I should subject myself to the liability of becoming a mother. But he became angry with me, claimed ownership over me, insisted that I, as a wife, was to submit to my husband 'in all things,' threatened to leave me and my children, and declared I was not fit to be a wife. Fearing some fatal consequences to my child or to myself—being alone, destitute and far from helpful friends, in the far West, and fearing that my little one would be left to want—I stifled all expression of my honest convictions, and ever after kept my aversion and painful struggles in my own bosom. In every respect, as far as passional relations between myself and my husband are concerned, I have ever felt myself to be a miserable and abject woman. I now see and feel it most deeply and[Pg 179] painfully. If I was with a child in my arms, I was in constant dread of all personal contact with my husband lest I should have a new maternity thrust upon me, and be obliged to wean one child before its time to give place to another. In my misery I have often cried out, 'O, God! is there no way out of this loathsome bondage?'

"When my first child was three months old, I went through a desperate struggle for my personal freedom. My husband demanded his right to treat me as he wished before our baby turned two months old. I saw his behavior for what it really was: degrading and unjust. I begged, filled with tears and distress, for my own and my child's sake, to be spared. If it hadn't been for my helpless baby, I would have cut our legal ties. For my child's sake, I endured that abuse and my own conscious humiliation. I decided to face the world alongside other wives and mothers who, as they told me—and as I knew—were also suffering similar abuses and being pushed into the degrading act of abortion. Yet, even then, I recognized and argued strongly for my rights regarding motherhood and the relationship that leads to it, just as you do now. I understood it clearly. Even amid the crushing pressures that weighed on me, I remained true to my instincts as a woman. I insisted on my right to choose when and under what circumstances I would accept his role in my motherhood and become the mother of his child. I believed it was my decision on when and how often I would risk becoming a mother. But he grew angry, claimed ownership over me, insisted I, as his wife, should submit to him 'in all things,' threatened to leave me and our children, and declared I wasn't fit to be a wife. Afraid of dire outcomes for my child or myself—being alone, broke, and far from supportive friends in the far West, fearing my little one would be left in need—I pushed my true feelings down and kept my struggles hidden. In every way relating to my husband and my feelings, I felt like a miserable and degraded woman. I now see and feel it deeply and painfully. If I was holding my child, I constantly feared any contact with my husband lest I would be forced into another pregnancy and have to wean one child too early to make room for another. In my despair, I've often cried out, 'Oh, God! Is there no escape from this disgusting bondage?'"

"It was not want of kindly feelings toward my husband that induced this state of mind, for I could and did endure every privation and want without an unkindly feeling or word, and even cheerfully for his sake. But every feeling of my soul did then, does now and ever must protest against the cruel and loathsome injustice of husbands toward their wives, manifested in imposing on them a maternity uncalled for by their own nature and most repulsive to it, and whose sufferings and responsibilities they are unprepared and unwilling to meet."

"It wasn't a lack of affection for my husband that caused this state of mind, because I could and did endure every hardship and loss without any unkind feelings or words, and even cheerfully for his sake. But every feeling in my soul at that time, now, and always will protest against the cruel and disgusting injustice of husbands toward their wives, shown in forcing them into motherhood against their natural inclinations, which is most repulsive to them, and for which they are unprepared and unwilling to face the suffering and responsibilities."

While we would not for a moment sanction the crime which this mother perpetrated, yet we are not prepared to say that she was the sole author of the crime. Every thoughtful man must admit that her husband was unreasonable, unwilling to govern his passion, cruel and unjust to his wife, and in his beastliness measurably drove her to the commission of the awful crime of which she was guilty.

While we definitely don't condone the crime this mother committed, we can't say that she was the only one responsible for it. Every thoughtful person has to acknowledge that her husband was unreasonable, unable to control his temper, cruel and unfair to his wife, and his brutality partly pushed her to commit the terrible crime she is guilty of.

The proper relation of husband and wife to the question of parenthood can never be properly and satisfactorily adjusted so long as either of these parties occupy extreme positions upon this question. It is absolutely wrong for the[Pg 180] wife to take the position that she is to be wholly delivered from maternity and the care of children, and it is equally wrong for the husband to assume that the wife is created for no other purpose than to bear children in as rapid succession as nature renders conception possible. Upon the one hand it is the duty of the wife to arrange her thought and life with reference to maternity and the bearing of such a number of children as can be brought into the world in the highest state of physical, intellectual and moral equipment. Upon the other hand, the husband is to regard himself under obligation to practice such personal self-control and to bear such disadvantages as are incident to the greatest fidelity of the wife in her duties while the body and character of her child are being formed within her, and while it is being nursed, nurtured and cared for after its birth.

The proper relationship between a husband and wife regarding parenthood can never be fully and satisfactorily resolved as long as either party holds extreme views on the matter. It's completely wrong for the wife to think she can be entirely free from motherhood and the responsibilities of raising children, and it's just as wrong for the husband to believe that the wife exists solely to have children as quickly as possible. On one hand, the wife has a responsibility to plan her thoughts and life around motherhood and to have a number of children that can be brought into the world in the best possible physical, intellectual, and moral condition. On the other hand, the husband must commit to practicing self-control and accept the challenges that come with supporting the wife in her responsibilities while she carries and nurtures their child, both during pregnancy and after birth.

It is the grossest of insults not only to woman, but to her Maker, to assert that woman was created solely for reproduction. It is proper for a man in the discharge of certain duties and in the attainment of certain laudable ends to decline to marry and resolve to maintain a pure and celibate life throughout his entire existence; and it is equally right, and even commendable, for a woman with similar purposes and aims to decline marriage in order that she may devote herself with greater efficiency and success to some effort to elevate and bless mankind, if those ends could not be successfully accomplished in connection with the proper dis[Pg 181]charge of her duties as wife and mother. But when men and women do marry, they greatly mistake the object of this divine institution if they suppose that it was instituted solely for the purpose of producing the largest possible number of children—if they make quantity rather than quality the great purpose. Marriage was instituted for the highest good of the parents; it was instituted for the attainment of their best health and the largest intellectual and moral equipment. Their lives are to be shaped for the acquisition of the largest and best attainments. Unless they attain the best physical, intellectual and moral developments they cannot transmit these valuable qualities to their children. The children cannot inherit from the parents what the parents do not possess. Parents should seek to raise up, not the largest possible number, without regard to whether they are good, bad or indifferent; but there is no objection to their raising up the largest number consistent with the best possible equipment. One man is worth an innumerable number of monkeys, and we should seek to raise up not an innumerable horde of inferior beings, but only so large a number as is consistent with a sincere purpose not to evade the responsibilities and duties of parenthood, and with an earnest effort to raise up a race of superior men and women. There should be no consenting to deterioration, but a sincere desire and effort for the raising up of a new generation that shall be an advance upon all the generations that have preceded.[Pg 182]

It’s a huge insult, not just to women, but to their Creator, to claim that women were made only for reproduction. It’s okay for a man to choose not to marry and to live a pure, celibate life while fulfilling certain responsibilities and achieving worthy goals; and it’s equally right, even admirable, for a woman to refuse marriage for similar reasons so she can dedicate herself more effectively to efforts that uplift and benefit humanity, especially if those goals can’t be fully realized alongside the responsibilities of being a wife and mother. However, when men and women do marry, they seriously misunderstand the purpose of this sacred institution if they believe it exists solely to produce as many children as possible—if they prioritize quantity over quality. Marriage was created for the greater good of the parents; it’s meant to help them achieve the best health and the greatest intellectual and moral capacities. Their lives should be aimed at acquiring the highest and best achievements. Without achieving the best physical, intellectual, and moral growth, parents can’t pass on those valuable traits to their children. Children can’t inherit what their parents don't have. Parents should aim to raise not the largest number of children, regardless of whether they are good, bad, or indifferent; but they can certainly raise as many as possible while still ensuring those children are well-equipped. One person is worth far more than countless monkeys, and we should strive to raise not an endless crowd of inferior beings, but only as many as can be raised with a genuine commitment to fulfill the responsibilities of parenting, and with a serious effort to bring forth a generation of exceptional men and women. There should be no acceptance of decline, but a sincere desire and effort to raise a new generation that improves upon all those that came before.[Pg 182]

By what we have said it will be manifest that there is a culpable and criminal limitation of offspring; and there is also a reasonable and right regulation of the marital relation and a limiting of offspring—a designed and deliberate purpose to be self-contained with a view to intelligent, purposed parenthood.

By what we've discussed, it will be clear that there is a blameworthy and wrongful limitation of having kids; and there is also a sensible and proper way to manage the marriage relationship and control the number of children—a thoughtful and deliberate intention to be self-sufficient with the goal of mindful, intentional parenting.

There are times when it is positively wrong to beget and bring forth children. This is the case when there is such physical debility upon either the part of the husband or the wife as would render them incapable of transmitting or bearing healthy children; when, overburdened or broken down by excessive childbearing, nothing but puny, sickly, short-lived offspring could reasonably be expected; when the children are coming so rapidly that they interfere with each others' nutrition and imperil the mother's health, or when the mother is naturally so constituted that childbearing imperils her life. These, and other equally weighty reasons, are a sufficient justification for a careful study of duty and obligation in the matter of self-government, and the limitation, or even restriction, of childbearing by right and proper methods.

There are times when it's absolutely wrong to have children. This is true when either the husband or the wife has such poor health that they can't have or raise healthy kids; when someone is overwhelmed or worn out from having too many children, leading to weak, sickly, short-lived offspring; when kids are being born so quickly that they compete for nutrition and put the mother's health at risk; or when the mother is in such a condition that having children threatens her life. These, along with other serious reasons, clearly justify the need to carefully consider our duties and obligations regarding self-control and the limitation, or even restriction, of childbearing through appropriate methods.

It is important, however, to say that married persons should never decide against childbearing, or even in favor of a very restricted parenthood, without the gravest considerations; nor is their own thought in the matter always sufficient to arrive at a wise and righteous conclusion. Their own judgment should always be supple[Pg 183]mented by the counsel and advice of a well-qualified and thoroughly conscientious Christian physician. Where difficulties do exist, a conscientious consideration of them may often enable the parties to remove every barrier and secure the most blessed and gratifying results.

It’s important to note that married couples should never decide against having children, or even choose to have a very limited family, without serious consideration; their own thoughts on the matter aren’t always enough to lead to a wise and just decision. Their judgment should always be supported[Pg 183] by the advice and insight of a qualified and dedicated Christian doctor. When challenges arise, taking a thoughtful approach to them can often help couples overcome obstacles and achieve the most rewarding and fulfilling outcomes.

What we have intimated is aptly illustrated in the following instance given by Dr. Pomeroy in "The Ethics of Marriage": "A 'love match' resulted in the union of two persons who were of nervous temperament and poor physique, many 'incompatibilities,' and small means. Beside this, the wife was suffering from a difficulty which made maternity undesirable and well-nigh impossible. Under the circumstances, they questioned whether indefinite postponement of parenthood were not proper, and, in fact, clearly indicated. They considered the matter carefully, took the benefit of medical advice, and finally decided that their only honorable and safe course would be that they should have a family of healthy children as its objective point. The wife was placed under medical treatment, and in the course of a few months was in physical condition safely to undertake maternity.

What we've hinted at is well shown in the example provided by Dr. Pomeroy in "The Ethics of Marriage": "A 'love match' led to the union of two people who had nervous temperaments and poor health, many 'incompatibilities,' and limited financial means. On top of this, the wife was dealing with a condition that made motherhood undesirable and nearly impossible. Given the situation, they wondered if delaying parenthood indefinitely was not just appropriate, but indeed clearly necessary. They thought it over carefully, consulted medical professionals, and ultimately decided that their only honorable and safe option would be to aim for a family of healthy children. The wife underwent medical treatment, and after a few months, she was in a physical state suitable to take on motherhood."

"Recognizing their limitations and disadvantages from the outset, the pair determined to make every possible effort to give their children as good a birth as might be, under the circumstances. Each tried to cultivate health and strength of mind and body; the laws of heredity were studied; conscientious care was taken that[Pg 184] the mother might have bright and cheery objects about her and loving thoughts in her mind during the period when each child gained all its influence from the outside world through her. Each child was also, during this period, a subject of prayer, that the Holy Spirit might enter into its developing life and cause it to be so generated that the afterwork of regeneration might, if possible, follow as the day follows the dawn.

"Understanding their limitations from the beginning, the couple decided to do everything they could to give their children the best start possible under the circumstances. They both worked on building their physical and mental health; they researched the laws of genetics; and they made sure that[Pg 184] the mother had bright and cheerful things around her and positive thoughts in her mind during the time when each child was influenced by her. Each child was also the focus of prayer during this time, asking for the Holy Spirit to enter their developing lives and support their growth so that, as much as possible, a transformation could follow just as day follows night."

"It would be too much to say that this course would in every case be followed by results as marked as were those of this instance; but in this family the children have proved to be, if not all that could be desired, at least much better than would have been expected in the ordinary course of events.

"It would be an exaggeration to say that this course would always lead to results as significant as those in this case; however, in this family, the children have turned out to be, if not exactly what one might hope for, at least much better than would typically be expected."

"They were symmetrical, sound in body, equable in temperament, and affectionate towards the parents and each other. They have never been more than half the trouble and care that children ordinarily are, although possessed of high spirit and a keen sense of justice. What may develop as they arrive at maturity no one can tell, but it is certain that they now bear the impress of prenatal love and care, and a good birth. This cost the parents some effort and self-denial, but they have been repaid fourfold in the ease with which the nursery has been managed; moreover, little differences of taste and opinion were laid on the altar of sacrifice to the interests of the children who should be born to them, and each, as it joined in the family circle, brought new degrees of harmony and joy.[Pg 185]

They were balanced, healthy, calm, and loving towards their parents and each other. They have never caused more than half the usual trouble and concern that children typically do, even though they have a spirited nature and a strong sense of fairness. What will happen as they reach adulthood is uncertain, but it's clear that they currently reflect the love and care they received before birth, along with a good start in life. This required effort and self-discipline from the parents, but they have been rewarded many times over with how easily they've been able to manage the nursery. Additionally, small differences in taste and opinion were set aside for the benefit of the children they would have, and each new addition to the family circle brought even more harmony and joy.[Pg 185]

"I have repeatedly heard the father of that family declare that he had no reason to believe himself a dollar poorer than he would have been if no children had come to claim his care. Just what might have been in that case it is impossible to tell, but it is certain that many a childless marriage which began under apparently happier auspices than this one ended in misery and divorce."

"I have often heard the father of that family say that he had no reason to believe he was a dollar poorer than he would have been if no children had come to need his care. It's impossible to know what might have happened in that situation, but it's clear that many childless marriages that started off looking happier than this one ended in misery and divorce."

But the question arises, where it is found necessary to limit the number of offspring, How shall it be properly done? There are those who seem to think that medical science has some way by which to grant unrestricted sexual indulgence and yet avoid the results which nature intended. Dr. Pomeroy says: "It is surprising to what an extent the laity believe that medical science knows how to control the birthrate. Just here let me say that I know of but one prescription which is both safe and sure, namely, that the sexes shall remain apart. So thoroughly do I believe this to be a secret which nature has kept to herself, that I should be inclined to question the ability or the honesty of any one professing to understand it so as to be able safely and surely to regulate the matter of reproduction for those living in wedlock."

But the question comes up: when it's necessary to limit the number of children, how should it be done properly? Some people seem to think that medical science has a way to allow for unlimited sexual activity while avoiding the natural consequences. Dr. Pomeroy says: "It's surprising how much the general public believes that medical science knows how to control the birthrate. Let me just say that I only know of one solution that is both safe and effective, which is that the sexes should stay apart. I believe so strongly that this is a secret nature has kept to itself that I would question the ability or honesty of anyone claiming to understand it well enough to safely manage reproduction for those who are married."

Because of the moral issues, physical consequences and terrible results which cluster about this question—one of the most delicate with which we have to deal—we have made a most careful examination of this entire subject. We have read a great deal more than has been[Pg 186] pleasant to our contemplation, but we have been compelled to return, after each new investigation, to the conclusion which is held by all reputable physicians that the only safe and sure way is for husband and wife to remain strictly apart. There are methods which are sometimes suggested, by even well-meaning physicians, to those who desire to escape the results of the marital relation, but when pressed for the expression of a candid and honest conviction these same physicians are always compelled to admit that for absolute safety there is but one provision.

Due to the moral concerns, physical consequences, and serious outcomes surrounding this issue—one of the most sensitive we face—we have thoroughly examined the whole topic. We've read far more than has been[Pg 186] enjoyable for us to consider, but after every new investigation, we’ve had to return to the conclusion shared by all reputable doctors: the only safe and reliable approach is for husbands and wives to stay strictly apart. There are methods sometimes suggested, even by well-meaning doctors, for those wanting to avoid the consequences of marriage, but when pressed to share their honest and true thoughts, these same doctors must confess that there is only one way to ensure absolute safety.

These various methods are not only unsatisfactory and unavailing, but are ruinous in their effects upon the individuals who practice them. In some instances nature does not visit her penalties immediately, but eventually the old declaration proves true that although justice travels with a sore foot it is sure to overtake the transgressor.

These different methods are not just ineffective and frustrating, but they harm the people who use them. Sometimes nature doesn't impose consequences right away, but eventually the saying holds true: even if justice takes its time, it will catch up with those who break the rules.

Where married people are willing to live according to the laws which are written deep in our nature, they find what Dr. Kellogg has said is true: "There would be less sexual enjoyment, but more elevated joy. There would be less animal love, but more spiritual communion; less gross, more pure; less development of the animal and more fruitful soil for the cultivation of virtue, holiness and all the Christian graces."

Where married couples are open to living according to the laws that are ingrained in our nature, they discover what Dr. Kellogg has mentioned is true: "There would be less sexual pleasure, but more elevated joy. There would be less animalistic love, but more spiritual connection; less base enjoyment, more purity; less focus on the primal and a richer environment for nurturing virtue, holiness, and all the Christian values."

An entire renunciation of all conjugal privileges is, however, only perfectly just and proper when it meets with the mutual consent of both husband and wife.[Pg 187]

Totally giving up all marital rights is only fair and right if both the husband and wife agree to it. [Pg 187]

Concerning such a rigid course, Dr. Napheys, in "Transmission of Life," says: "The objection nowadays urged against it is that it is too severe a prescription, and consequently valueless. This ought not to be. A man who loves his wife should, in order to save that life overwork and misery, and danger of death and wretchedly constituted children, be able and willing to undergo as much self-denial as everyone of his contingent bachelor acquaintances does, not out of high devotion, but for motives of economy, or indifference, or love of liberty. The man who cannot do this, or does not care to do it, does not certainly deserve a very high position.

Regarding such a strict approach, Dr. Napheys, in "Transmission of Life," says: "The criticism often made these days is that it's too harsh and therefore worthless. This shouldn't be the case. A man who loves his wife should be ready to endure as much self-denial as any of his single friends do—not out of deep devotion, but for reasons of saving money, apathy, or a desire for freedom—in order to protect that life from overwork, suffering, the risk of death, and poorly made children. A man who can't or won't do this certainly doesn’t deserve a very elevated status."

"But while all this is granted, the question is still constantly put: Is this all? Is there no means by which we can limit our families without either injuring the health or undergoing a self-martyrdom which not one man in a thousand will submit to?"

"But even with all this acknowledged, the question keeps coming up: Is this it? Is there no way to control our families without harming our health or enduring a kind of self-sacrifice that hardly anyone would be willing to accept?"

In meeting the perplexities of this situation, Dr. Pomeroy, in "Ethics of Marriage," says: "There are circumstances under which means for the temporary avoidance of conception may be desirable and proper, as, for instance, to prevent too rapid childbearing on the part of women who cannot nurse their infants, or who have their usual periods while nursing—conditions which, I believe, our artificial life are responsible for—and so are liable to too frequent conception.

In addressing the complexities of this situation, Dr. Pomeroy, in "Ethics of Marriage," states: "There are situations where methods for the temporary prevention of conception may be appropriate and justified, such as in the case of women who cannot breastfeed their infants or who have their regular cycles while nursing—conditions that, I believe, are caused by our artificial way of life—and therefore are prone to too frequent conception."

"For such and other legitimate causes nature has herself provided a means which, with the[Pg 188] practice of a little self-denial, will give a reasonable degree of safety; beyond this it is neither safe nor proper to act without the advice of some physician who has sound judgment, both in medicine and in morals."

"For such and other valid reasons, nature has provided a way that, with a little self-discipline, will offer a reasonable level of safety; beyond this, it is neither safe nor wise to act without consulting a physician who has good judgment in both medicine and ethics."

There is a Scriptural provision which is doubtless designed to meet this very condition, and which may be properly mentioned here because authorized by the Inspired Word. The law concerning this matter will be found in the fifteenth chapter of Leviticus, beginning with the nineteenth verse. In this passage a period of strict separation is prescribed for the woman during the period of her monthly issue, and the injunction is, that when "she is cleansed from her issue then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean." On the eighth day she was to appear before the priest with her offerings, when she was to be declared clean.

There is a biblical guideline that is definitely meant to address this specific situation, and it’s worth mentioning here because it’s backed by the Inspired Word. The relevant law can be found in the fifteenth chapter of Leviticus, starting from the nineteenth verse. In this passage, a period of strict separation is required for a woman during her monthly cycle, and the instruction is that when “she is cleansed from her issue, then she shall count for herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean.” On the eighth day, she was to present herself to the priest with her offerings, and then she would be declared clean.

In this Old Testament provision God manifestly intended to make the children of Israel intelligent, not for the purpose of enabling them to avoid any reasonable and right increase in their families, but measurably to limit the number of offspring, so that the very best type of human life might be the fruitage of their homes. When literally followed, it would doubtless in a large majority of cases afford all necessary relief, and properly limit the number of offspring.

In this Old Testament provision, God clearly aimed to make the children of Israel knowledgeable, not to help them avoid any sensible and just growth in their families, but to somewhat limit the number of children, so that the highest quality of human life could result from their homes. If followed as intended, it would likely provide all the necessary support in most cases and appropriately limit the number of children.

This passage also clearly indicates the importance of separation during the periodic sickness; and the basis for this Old Testament[Pg 189] teaching of separation during such times is based not only upon the sense of delicacy and propriety upon the part of the wife, but also upon the physiological and sanitary principles of medical science.

This passage also clearly shows the importance of separation during times of sickness; and the foundation for this Old Testament[Pg 189] teaching of separation during such periods is based not only on the sense of delicacy and propriety from the wife, but also on the physiological and sanitary principles of medical science.

It is neither necessary nor proper for us to go into a further discussion of this subject at this place. Those who find themselves laboring under the burdens, infirmities and unfitness we have indicated, should be free to seek such medical counsel and advice as will afford them what relief may be available in their particular case. We would warn all, however, that "those who take active measures to prevent conception are apt to carry the matter further than they intended; at the best they are tampering with Nature, and that is a dangerous thing in itself." In seeking medical counsel, let us carefully advise all to exercise the utmost caution in selecting a competent, conscientious, Christian physician. If, however, you expect that your interview will bring you such information as will enable you to indulge your passion unrestrained and avoid all consequences, allow us to say, before such an interview takes place, that you are expecting information which medical science does not possess. Dr. Pomeroy, in writing upon this subject, says: "As before noticed, it is surprising to what extent the laity believe that the course of Nature can be safely interfered with, even by those who understand her laws the least. Those who fear to turn back the hands of a watch lest they[Pg 190] injure the complicated and delicate machinery do not hesitate to use violent means to interfere with the natural workings of the human mechanism, which is a thousandfold more complicated and delicate. Nature is tenacious of her rights; she resists grandly, but if forced to yield, she visits the offender with punishment which is no less sure because it is sometimes long-delayed. Few seem to know this; many act as though they considered Nature a sort of clever idiot, too stupid to recognize an injury or too amiable to resent it if discovered; while others seem to look upon Nature as rather intelligent and able, but a servant amenable to guidance and assistance in co-ordinating the forces of her laboratory. This is absurd, and even impious, for Nature is but another term for the Creator of all things, and He is infinitely wise. Nature cares more about correcting us than our mistakes and follies. Were she to go on indefinitely and patiently undoing our work we should go on indefinitely and persistently doing it, and our wrongdoing would be righted, but we should remain in the mental or moral or physical sin which had prompted it. Indeed, if the obvious results of our sin were promptly removed we should scarcely be aware that we were not in harmony with Nature's plans, and the race would deteriorate, and finally become extinct."

It’s not necessary or appropriate for us to discuss this topic further here. Those who are struggling with the burdens, weaknesses, and inadequacies we've mentioned should feel free to seek medical advice that can help them find relief in their specific situation. However, we caution everyone that "those who take active measures to prevent conception often end up going further than they intended; at best, they are interfering with Nature, which is inherently dangerous." When seeking medical advice, we strongly recommend choosing a skilled, dedicated, and ethical doctor who shares our values. If you think that your consultation will provide you with information that lets you act on your desires without consequences, let us clarify before the meeting that such expectations are misguided and that medical science cannot provide that kind of information. Dr. Pomeroy noted on this topic: "As previously mentioned, it's surprising how much the general public believes they can safely interfere with the course of Nature, even by those who understand her laws the least. Those who wouldn’t dare adjust the hands of a watch for fear of damaging its complex machinery have no problem using drastic methods to interfere with the natural workings of the human body, which is far more intricate and fragile. Nature is fiercely protective of her rights; she resists boldly, but if forced to give in, she punishes the transgressor, which punishment is no less certain just because it might be delayed. Few seem to recognize this; many behave as if they think of Nature as a clever fool, too slow to notice an injury or too kind to react if she does. Others appear to view Nature as somewhat intelligent and capable but as a servant open to help in coordinating her processes. This is ridiculous and even disrespectful, for Nature is another term for the Creator of everything, and He is infinitely wise. Nature cares more about correcting us than our mistakes and foolishness. If she were to endlessly and patiently fix our errors, we'd continue to perpetuate them, and while our wrongs might be set right, we would remain mentally or morally or physically flawed in our actions. Indeed, if the evident results of our wrongdoings were promptly resolved, we would hardly notice that we were out of sync with Nature’s plans, leading to a decline in the species, ultimately resulting in extinction."

Where you do not obtain from a reputable, intelligent Christian physician the information you desire, or the relief you seek, do not make[Pg 191] the fatal mistake of resorting to some quack or impostor who advertises only to beguile, deceive and rob you, and subsequently to leave you humiliated, with purse depleted and health ruined. Reputable physicians do not advertise, and the very fact that a man advertises may be accepted as sufficient evidence that he is not an accredited and reliable physician, and that you will most assuredly be subjected to deception and imposture.

Where you cannot get the information you need or the help you're looking for from a trustworthy, knowledgeable Christian doctor, don't make the dangerous mistake of turning to some fraud or charlatan who just wants to trick, deceive, and take your money, leaving you humiliated, broke, and in worse health. Reputable doctors don’t advertise; the very fact that someone is advertising is a clear sign that they aren't a qualified and trustworthy physician, and you will most definitely be exposed to deception and scams.

Persons who recognize the propriety of limiting the number of offspring are seriously exposed to the danger of deferring and procrastinating to such an extent as to err greatly in the direction of too few rather than too many children. With most women the time for childbearing is quite like the time and location of a boil—any other time than the present, and any other place than where it is. A purposed parenthood is in danger of becoming a purpose to evade parenthood.

People who understand the importance of limiting the number of children are at serious risk of delaying and putting off the decision to the point of having too few kids instead of too many. For most women, the period for having children is much like the occurrence of a boil—any time other than now and any place other than where you are. Intentional parenthood is at risk of turning into a goal to avoid parenthood.

There is, however, a proper and all-important preparation for parenthood. After a careful examination of the subject no person can help but be deeply impressed with the fact that if the parents of this generation would realize their wonderful power to mold and fashion the succeeding generation, the children of the next decade would rise to the level of an entirely new plane. Some people seem to think that the matter of begetting a child, like the matter of selecting a wife or a husband, should be left wholly to blind chance. Neither of these two[Pg 192] important events can be too much safeguarded by wise and thoughtful consideration. If conception is permitted to take place when either one or both of the parents are in ill health; if the wife is an unwilling mother, and the embryo is developed by her while her entire nature rebels against the admission into the family of a child who is not wanted, the children begotten and born under such circumstances can never be other than sickly, nervous and fretful during their entire childhood, and cross and uncompanionable throughout their entire lives.

There is, however, an important and essential preparation for parenthood. After closely examining the topic, no one can help but be struck by the fact that if today’s parents understood their incredible power to shape the next generation, the children of the coming decade could reach an entirely new level. Some people believe that having a child, like choosing a spouse, should be left entirely to chance. But neither of these two[Pg 192] significant events should be taken lightly or left unconsidered. If conception happens when one or both parents are unhealthy; if the mother is unwilling to have a child and is carrying a baby against her will, the children born from such situations are likely to be sickly, anxious, and irritable throughout their childhood, and difficult to be around for the rest of their lives.

In connection with childbearing there are three very important things: First, the preparation for parenthood; second, the mental state at the period of conjunction, and third, the mental state and physical condition of the mother during the months while the body and character of the child are being fashioned within her body.

In relation to having children, there are three key things to consider: First, getting ready for parenthood; second, the emotional state during the time of conception; and third, the mental and physical well-being of the mother during the months when the child’s body and character are developing inside her.

The period and the character of the preparation for parenthood must always vary according to the physical condition of the intending parents. In some instances this preparation needs to extend over weeks, and in other instances even over years. No man or woman should consent to become a parent except at such times when physically and intellectually they are at their very best—indeed, the very best that is possible for them to attain by a course of careful preparation. Much of what might be said here will be learned under a subsequent chapter upon prenatal influences.[Pg 193]

The time and nature of preparing for parenthood should always depend on the physical condition of the prospective parents. In some cases, this preparation needs to last for weeks, and in other cases, it may even take years. No one should agree to become a parent unless they are at their physical and mental best—truly, the best they can achieve through careful preparation. Much of what can be discussed here will be covered in a later chapter on prenatal influences.[Pg 193]

Medical authorities universally attach great importance to the mental condition at the moment of conjunction and conception. It is quite universally believed that this is a moment of unparalleled importance to the welfare of the future being. Dr. Hufeland, an eminent German writer, says: "In my opinion, it is of the utmost importance that this moment should be confined to a period when the sensation of collected powers, ardent passion, and a mind cheerful and free from care, invite to it on both sides." It is an awful crime to beget life carelessly, and when in improper and unworthy physical and mental states.

Medical authorities everywhere emphasize the significance of mental health at the time of conception. It is widely believed that this moment is crucial for the well-being of the future child. Dr. Hufeland, a notable German author, states: "In my opinion, it is extremely important that this moment occurs during a period when both partners feel energized, passionate, and mentally cheerful and free from worries." It is a serious offense to bring life into the world thoughtlessly and while in unsuitable and unworthy physical and mental conditions.

The ancients understood the importance of this moment, and frequently surrounded the nuptial couch with statues which should charm the mother by their beautiful outlines and physical proportions. It was claimed by them that a man who was himself deformed might in this manner become the father of children that were possessed of fine physical proportions. While this statement might carry with it too much presumption, yet it was not without a considerable element of truth.

The ancients recognized the significance of this moment and often placed statues around the wedding bed to impress the mother with their beautiful shapes and proportions. They believed that a man with physical deformities could still father children with attractive features. While this idea might seem overly presumptuous, it did contain a considerable grain of truth.

Nearly eighteen centuries before Christ, the patriarch Jacob recognized this principle when he arranged with Laban to accept from among the flocks and herds "the speckled and the spotted" as the reward of his labor in attending the flocks of the herds of his father-in-law. There was nothing unnatural or miraculous in the result which Jacob secured. He sought to[Pg 194] produce such mental impressions upon the minds of the flock at the time of conception as would secure the production of young marked after the manner most in accord with his personal interests. We are told that "Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut-tree, and pilled white streaks in them and made the white appear which was in the rods. And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering-troughs, when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink. And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ring-streaked, speckled and spotted. And Jacob did separate the lambs, and set the faces of the flocks toward the ring-streaked, and all the brown in the flock of Laban: and he put his own flocks by themselves, and put them not unto Laban's cattle. And it came to pass, whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods. But when the cattle were feeble he put them not in: so the feebler were Laban's, and the stronger Jacob's. And the man increased exceedingly, and had much cattle, and maid-servants and men-servants, and camels and asses."

Nearly eighteen centuries before Christ, the patriarch Jacob understood this principle when he made an agreement with Laban to take “the speckled and the spotted” as his payment for tending his father-in-law’s flocks and herds. The results Jacob achieved were not unnatural or miraculous. He aimed to create mental impressions on the minds of the flock during conception that would lead to offspring marked in a way that best aligned with his own interests. It is said that “Jacob took rods of green poplar, hazel, and chestnut trees, peeled white streaks in them, and made the white show in the rods. He placed the rods he had peeled in front of the flocks in the watering troughs so that they would conceive while drinking. And the flocks conceived in front of the rods and gave birth to ring-streaked, speckled, and spotted cattle. Jacob separated the lambs and directed the flocks toward the ring-streaked and all the brown ones in Laban’s flock, while he kept his own flocks separate and did not mix them with Laban’s cattle. Whenever the stronger cattle were ready to conceive, Jacob placed the rods in front of them in the troughs so that they might conceive with the rods in view. But he didn’t put the rods in front of the weaker cattle, so the weaker ones belonged to Laban and the stronger ones to Jacob. The man prospered greatly and had many cattle, female and male servants, camels, and donkeys.”

Much of the differences which exist between children of the same parents may be easily attributed to the different bodily and mental conditions of the parents at the period of conjunction, the changed physical, intellectual and[Pg 195] emotional states of the parents at the different periods of conception producing the corresponding differences in their offspring.

Many of the differences that exist among children of the same parents can be easily linked to the varying physical and mental conditions of the parents at the time of conception. The changes in the parents' physical, intellectual, and emotional states during different times of conception lead to corresponding differences in their children.

The results of purposed and prepared parenthood are so great and so desirable that a husband and wife should consider these matters carefully, make due preparations, and approach the period when they would beget offspring and bring immortal beings into the world with the greatest thoughtfulness, consideration, and also with prayer.

The benefits of intentional and planned parenthood are so significant and appealing that a husband and wife should think about these issues seriously, make the necessary arrangements, and enter the time when they will have children and bring new lives into the world with deep thoughtfulness, care, and also with prayer.

The writer well remembers the deep impression made upon his mind in an interview with a physician who was the first to present this phase of the subject to our consideration. The statement was so unusual that it made a lasting impression upon us. But why may it not be so? After a period of preparation why should not the intending parents unite at the throne of grace for God's blessing upon them in the act in which they are about to engage, and in the fulfillment of their desire for an heir who shall be possessed of the very best physical, intellectual and moral endowments?

The writer clearly remembers the strong impression made on him during an interview with a doctor who was the first to introduce this aspect of the subject to us. The statement was so unexpected that it left a lasting mark on us. But why shouldn't it be this way? After a time of preparation, why shouldn't prospective parents come together in prayer, asking for God's blessing on the act they are about to undertake and in their desire for a child who possesses the best physical, intellectual, and moral qualities?

There are certain signs of fruitful conjunction which are often recognized by women who are already mothers, but which may serve as no guide to a young wife who has never had any experience. With some women the act of conception is attended with great emotion, a sense of unusual pleasure, and even of a tremor, in which all parts of the body may participate. Sometimes it is followed by a sense of weak[Pg 196]ness. In ancient times the swelling of the neck was regarded as a sign of conception, and some modern authorities incline to the same theory. There are instances also in which the morning sickness begins immediately after conception.

There are certain signs of successful conception that are often recognized by women who are already mothers, but they might not be helpful for a young wife with no experience. For some women, the act of conception comes with intense emotions, a feeling of unusual pleasure, and even a kind of tremor that can involve the whole body. Sometimes, this is followed by a feeling of weakness. In ancient times, the swelling of the neck was seen as a sign of conception, and some modern experts lean toward this idea as well. There are also cases where morning sickness starts right after conception.

It would be unsafe, however, to rely upon either the presence or absence of these indications. In most instances the cessation of the menses and the appearance of the morning sickness are the first reliable indications that conception has taken place.

It would be risky, however, to depend on either the presence or absence of these signs. In most cases, the stopping of the menstrual cycle and the onset of morning sickness are the first reliable signs that conception has occurred.


CHAPTER XIII.

THE EXPECTANT MOTHER.

A husband, whether young or old, should treat his wife with great consideration at all times, but if at any time she deserves more thoughtful consideration and more tender ministry than at any other, it is during the period of her pregnancy. The young husband should remember that oftentimes the mother-nature of the young wife is not yet aroused, but is measurably dormant. God has intended that wifehood should precede motherhood. Where the longing for children is present, the young wife intelligent, and where she has been physically fitted for the office of motherhood upon which she has now entered, her equipment is exceptional, her mind complacent, and she may reasonably be expected to go forward in a spirit which will secure for her in the coming months the largest blessing and reward.

A husband, whether he's young or old, should always treat his wife with great care, but there are times when she needs extra consideration and support, especially during her pregnancy. The young husband should keep in mind that often the nurturing side of his young wife isn’t fully awakened yet, but is still somewhat dormant. It’s intended that being a wife comes before being a mother. When the desire for children is strong, and if the young wife is knowledgeable and physically prepared for motherhood, her capabilities are impressive, her mindset can be calm, and it’s reasonable to expect her to embrace the coming months with a spirit that will bring her the greatest blessings and rewards.

But with most young wives it is not so. The knowledge which would have been most important for them has been withheld by silent mothers. They may have received a liberal education, but in the study of physiology, the special parts, concerning which she needed most to know, have been excluded from the text-books, and she knows no more concerning[Pg 198] her own special physiology than she does about the physiology of the male. Books which would have rendered her intelligent have been studiously kept out of her sight, and perhaps during her girlhood she has been encouraged in compressing her waist, displacing the vital organs which God has placed in the abdomen, and through a period of years gone on, ignorantly or wilfully, unfitting herself for the main duties of maternity. Perhaps she has entered upon marriage, as so many do, with an undefined dread of some impending evil attending conception and childbearing, which she has desired and hoped to escape in some inscrutable manner. The discovery of the fact that she is to become a mother fills her mind with dread and alarm. In her ignorance she gropes her way in darkness, not knowing whither to turn and with no one to guide her to the light. She naturally turns to married women and to mothers, and instead of receiving encouragement and the proper kind of sympathy, they most likely exclaim: "I am sorry for you! Now your trouble begins. If I were in your place I should feel like jumping into the river." In nine cases out of ten, with the darkness intensified and her mind more alarmed than ever, apprehension turns to fear, and fear into alarm and dread. The young husband should remember that this is about the usual experience of most young wives, and intelligently arrange to correct the evil.

But for most young wives, it’s not the same. The knowledge that would have been most important for them has been kept from them by quiet mothers. They may have received a solid education, but the parts of physiology that they really needed to know were left out of the textbooks, and they know no more about their own physiology than they do about male physiology. Books that could have helped them become knowledgeable have been deliberately kept out of their reach. Maybe during their teenage years, they were encouraged to squeeze their waists, displacing the vital organs that God has placed in the abdomen, and spent years, either knowingly or unknowingly, making themselves unfit for the main responsibilities of motherhood. They might enter marriage, like so many do, with an undefined fear of some looming problem with conception and childbirth, hoping to somehow avoid it. The realization that they’re going to be mothers fills them with dread and panic. In their ignorance, they feel their way through the darkness, unsure of where to turn and with no one to guide them toward the light. Naturally, they seek advice from married women and mothers, but instead of getting support and the right kind of sympathy, they’re likely met with comments like, "I feel sorry for you! Your troubles are just beginning. If I were you, I’d feel like jumping into the river." In nine out of ten cases, this only deepens their darkness and heightens their anxiety until apprehension turns into genuine fear and dread. The young husband should keep in mind that this is the typical experience for most young wives and take steps to address this issue thoughtfully.

If you are acquainted with some intelligent,[Pg 199] sympathetic and judicious woman, who will know how to take your young wife into her arms, allay her fears, comfort and instruct her, you will be most fortunate. She should be able to point out to the troubled wife the fact that intelligence and care will greatly mitigate, and indeed enable her largely to avoid all physical suffering; to explain to her how, as the months go by, the mother-love will spring up in her heart as the time approaches for the happiest hour in her life, when for the first time her own infant child shall lie in her arms or by her side; to picture the joy of her husband and the gladness which will come into the hearts of all who know her and who will come to rejoice over her newborn child; to picture what her home will be as contrasted with those who, dejected and lonely, sit in desolate homes where no little prattler breaks the stillness of the hours and no footfalls are heard in the hallway. This judicious friend will need to know how to impress upon her that her mental condition during the period which precedes the advent of the little stranger will mold and fashion its character, and how, if she desires a loving child, she must herself love the child before it is born; if she desires in her child a quiet and happy disposition she must herself determine that result by her own even temper, and be warned that her worry and repining will render her child nervous and fretful; if she desires her child to be cheery and bright and happy she should enact in her own thought and life what she desires[Pg 200] her child to be; that now for a brief period she is molding not simply its physical frame, but its character and disposition, and giving bent and expression to the entire future of the human life that is being formed within her.

If you know an intelligent, caring, and wise woman who can hold your young wife, ease her fears, comfort her, and offer guidance, you will be very lucky. She should be able to help the anxious wife understand that being smart and attentive can significantly reduce, or even help her avoid, all physical discomfort. She can explain that as the months go by, the love for her child will grow in her heart as the moment approaches for the happiest hour of her life when she first holds her own baby. She can depict the joy of her husband and the happiness that will fill the hearts of everyone who knows her and will celebrate her newborn child. She can contrast how her home will feel compared to those who, feeling down and alone, sit in empty homes where no little ones break the silence and no footsteps echo in the hall. This thoughtful friend will need to make it clear that her mental state leading up to the arrival of the little one will shape its character. If she wants a loving child, she must nurture that love before it's born; if she hopes for a calm and happy child, she must create that atmosphere with her own steady demeanor and realize that her anxiety and sadness will make her child anxious and irritable. If she wishes for her child to be joyful and bright, she should reflect that in her own thoughts and life. This should be a reminder that during this brief time, she is not only forming the baby's physical body but also shaping its character and temperament, influencing the entire future of the life growing inside her.

It will not do, when the husband finds his wife despondent, that he should be annoyed by expressions which are quite natural to one in her condition. No young husband can enter sufficiently into the sufferings and feelings of his wife in these earliest days and weeks of apprehension and dread. She needs to be comforted with words of greatest tenderness. Your heart should go out toward her in sincere sympathy. Put away from your heart such feelings as, "Foolish girl! What did she get married for? Did she not know that she was expected to bear children, like other women? She is not suffering more than other women have suffered. All this is only in the course of nature. What use is there of making a fuss? She should submit to it in the proper spirit." If you harbor such thoughts, whether properly or improperly, they will nevertheless unfit you for that degree of sympathy which you should feel and not feign.

It’s not okay for a husband to get frustrated when his wife is feeling down. Her feelings are completely normal for what she’s going through. No young husband can truly understand the pain and emotions his wife experiences in those first days and weeks filled with fear and anxiety. She needs comforting words filled with deep kindness. You should genuinely feel for her and show sympathy. Try to push away thoughts like, "What’s wrong with her? Why did she even get married if she didn’t know she’d have to have kids? Other women have gone through this too. It’s just part of life. Why make a big deal out of it? She should just accept it." If you let yourself think like that, whether it’s fair or not, it will prevent you from truly feeling the sympathy that you need to show, instead of just pretending.

The months of pregnancy with most women are months of discomfort. Some women are in better health, more cheery and hopeful during the period of gestation than at any other period in their lives. But this is not generally the case; rather the reverse. During gestation some women are a terror to their husbands, and render themselves miserable, and all about[Pg 201] them uncomfortable and unhappy. During this period the wife ceases to be physically attractive, and for her own protection and the protection of the embryo, nature makes the wife sexually repellant. Soon the morning sickness is likely to begin, and when she rises in the morning she will likely feel sick and nauseated, and vomiting will frequently ensue. Relief cannot always be afforded, and this condition may continue for weeks, or even for months. The young wife soon becomes the target for all kinds of injudicious advice. She is told to eat heartily of strong food, to "keep up her strength," and "to furnish nourishment for two." Her natural modes of life are oftentimes unnecessarily restricted, and after a period, with a sense of false modesty, she often shuts herself out from fresh air and exercise, and becomes a prisoner in her own home, or possibly in her own room.

The months of pregnancy for most women are months of discomfort. Some women feel healthier, happier, and more optimistic during pregnancy than at any other time in their lives. But that's not usually the case; it’s often the opposite. During pregnancy, some women can be a challenge for their husbands and make themselves miserable, leaving everyone around them uncomfortable and unhappy. At this time, the wife may no longer feel physically attractive, and to protect herself and the developing baby, nature makes her less appealing. Morning sickness is likely to kick in soon, and when she wakes up in the morning, she might feel sick and nauseous, with vomiting often following. Relief isn’t always available, and this condition can last for weeks or even months. The young wife quickly becomes a target for all sorts of misguided advice. People tell her to eat plenty of rich foods to "keep up her strength" and "provide nourishment for two." Her natural routines are often unnecessarily limited, and eventually, with a sense of false modesty, she may isolate herself from fresh air and exercise, becoming trapped in her own home, or even in her own room.[Pg 201]

While the pains and perils of maternity can be greatly mitigated, yet the young husband should be moved to tenderest consideration because of the discomforts which the wife suffers; the apprehensions with which she looks forward to the hour of her delivery, the responsibilities of caring for and rearing a child for usefulness in this world and happiness in the next; the apprehensions which she may have, not only in regard to her own life, but in bringing into the world a creature who shall be dependent for many years upon her and her husband; and in the days of her nervous anxiety she is likely[Pg 202] to think of the possibility of the death of her husband, or, of what might be even more terrible to her thought, her sickness or disability through a period of years, when the breadwinner himself might become dependent upon his wife and children for his own support.

While the challenges and dangers of childbirth can be significantly lessened, the young husband should feel a deep sense of empathy for the discomforts his wife experiences; the worries she has about the moment of delivery, the responsibilities of caring for and raising a child to be valuable in this life and happy in the next; the fears she may have not only about her own life but also about bringing into the world a being who will rely on her and her husband for many years; and during her times of nervous anxiety, she is likely[Pg 202] to contemplate the possibility of her husband's death or, what might be even more distressing to her, his long-term illness or incapacity, during which the primary provider might become dependent on his wife and children for support.

Newly-married persons should look forward to this period, and, before conception takes place, make themselves the possessors of such information as would render them intelligent and qualify them to meet the conditions with the best physical and intellectual equipment. When the wife has once become pregnant, it is then too late for her properly to take up the study of this subject. Instead of permitting her mind to dwell upon these matters, her attention should be turned to other considerations. If she or her husband have not read upon these subjects until the event takes place, then the husband should devote himself to the reading, and be to his wife a wise counsellor in the experiences through which she is passing. He should carefully study the book entitled "What a Young Wife Ought to Know," and possibly other well-chosen books. Where the husband has the time and the technical knowledge, he might find it very helpful to consult the physician whose services they expect to have at the time of confinement, and borrow from him a medical work upon the subject. Such books are always expensive, and, although written in technical terms, may yet prove interesting and suggestive. The greatest danger, however, in[Pg 203] this course is, that medical books deal not so much with the normal conditions which characterize the vast majority of confinements, but with the abnormal and exceptional, which are only occasionally met, and these exceptions, abnormal conditions and hideous monstrosities, are likely to fill the mind with unnecessary apprehension. Under no circumstances should a pregnant wife be permitted to fill her mind with apprehension and alarm by reading of this character.

Newly married couples should look forward to this time, and before becoming pregnant, they should gather information that will help them be well-prepared and equipped to handle everything with the best physical and mental readiness. Once the wife is pregnant, it's too late for her to really start learning about this topic. Instead of focusing on these matters, she should redirect her attention to other thoughts. If neither the wife nor the husband has read about these topics by the time pregnancy occurs, the husband should take it upon himself to read and become a supportive guide for his wife during this experience. He should carefully study the book titled "What a Young Wife Ought to Know," along with other carefully selected resources. If the husband has the time and medical knowledge, it might be useful to talk to the doctor they plan to have for delivery and borrow a medical book on the subject. These books can be costly, and even though they're written in technical language, they may still be interesting and insightful. However, the biggest risk with this approach is that medical books often focus more on the abnormal situations that are rare rather than the normal conditions that most women experience during childbirth. This emphasis on unusual and frightening cases can lead to unnecessary worry. Therefore, a pregnant wife should never be allowed to fill her mind with anxiety and fear by reading such materials.

If the wife is to follow the most beneficial rules of exercise, diet and mental condition, she will need to be encouraged and assisted by the judicious counsel and tenderest sympathies of her husband. If she is allowed to seclude herself and become inactive, she will not only suffer the severest experiences at the time of delivery, but her child will be likely to be indifferent to physical and intellectual activity; while, upon the other hand, if her life is filled with a round of perpetual duties, perplexities and worries which consume her time, leave her depleted, and allow her no time for rest, she is likely to be the mother of a restless, nervous and irritable child. The young husband should remember that what his home is to be in the days to come will depend upon the intelligence and wisdom of himself and wife while they stand at the sources of destiny in the early period of their married life. Their health, their wisdom, their judicious direction is to determine not only their own present happiness but the char[Pg 204]acter of their children, the condition of their home, and measurably even the destinies of generations yet unborn.

If the wife wants to follow the best practices for exercise, diet, and mental well-being, she will need encouragement and support from her husband’s thoughtful advice and caring attitude. If she isolates herself and becomes inactive, she will not only face severe challenges during delivery, but her child may also show little interest in physical and intellectual activities. On the other hand, if her life is filled with constant responsibilities, confusion, and stress that drains her energy and doesn’t give her time to rest, she might end up being the mother of a restless, anxious, and irritable child. The young husband should remember that the future of their home depends on the intelligence and wisdom of both him and his wife as they navigate the early stages of their marriage. Their health, wisdom, and careful guidance will shape not only their own happiness but also the character of their children, the condition of their home, and even the futures of generations yet to come.

It is not within our province, when writing to young husbands, to lay down rules and to give full directions which are fitted for a book of instruction to young wives and expectant mothers. But as something might be properly expected upon this phase of the subject, we append from "Trained Motherhood" a suggestive article on "Diet and Hygiene for Expectant Mothers," by a writer who signs herself "K. L.":

It’s not our place, when writing to young husbands, to set rules or provide detailed guidelines that would suit a manual for young wives and expectant mothers. However, since something relevant could be expected regarding this topic, we’re including a thought-provoking article from "Trained Motherhood" on "Diet and Hygiene for Expectant Mothers," by an author who goes by "K. L.":

"From the very moment of consciousness of the conception of a new life every effort should be made for the welfare of both mother and child.

"From the very moment a new life is conceived, every effort should be made for the well-being of both the mother and the child."

"With the majority of women pregnancy is a condition to be dreaded, since it brings with it so much care, pain and all sorts of trials, ending with intense suffering.

"Most women view pregnancy as something to be feared, as it comes with a lot of worry, pain, and various challenges, ultimately leading to significant suffering."

"The greater part of these troubles are caused by the violation of the laws of nature; and by following a few simple rules much, if not all, of the suffering and worry women undergo may be avoided.

"The main source of these troubles is the disregard for the laws of nature; by adhering to a few straightforward guidelines, much, if not all, of the pain and anxiety that women experience can be prevented."

"Having received many requests for advice, the writer gives, for the benefit of sister women, as the result of personal experience and experiments, the directions and hints that follow:

"After getting a lot of requests for advice, the writer shares, for the benefit of fellow women, the tips and guidance that come from personal experience and experimentation:"

"One of the chief causes of trouble is improper diet. Another is improper dress. A third, lack of exercise.

"One of the main causes of problems is a poor diet. Another is inappropriate clothing. A third is a lack of exercise."

"But to deal with one at a time, we will place[Pg 205] diet first. It is necessary that a pregnant woman should have food that is nourishing but not heating for the blood. It should be eaten at regular hours and in moderate quantities. Very few people can successfully eat and drink at one time, so it will be much better to drink some time before or after meals. It is desired to avoid development of bone and muscle, as it is this growth that renders the labor so hard. By choosing food that lacks these qualities much trouble may be avoided. All the vegetables and all the fruits are beneficial, but all animal food is injurious, in my opinion.

"But to address each one individually, let's start with diet[Pg 205]. It's important for a pregnant woman to consume nourishing food that doesn't heat the blood. Meals should be taken at regular times and in reasonable portions. Very few people can effectively eat and drink at the same time, so it's better to drink either before or after meals. It's best to avoid foods that promote bone and muscle growth, as this can make labor more difficult. By choosing foods that don't have these effects, a lot of discomfort can be prevented. All vegetables and fruits are good for you, but I believe all animal products are harmful."

"All rich food, such as pastry, cakes, confectioneries, gravies and fat meats should be avoided. Tea and coffee are nerve and brain stimulants, therefore injurious to both mother and child. Wines or liquors of any sort are very much to be condemned. All cereals may be used freely, though the oat products are not to be so well recommended as the wheaten grains, since oats are more heating. Eat very freely of all fruits, particularly the acid sort. Oranges and lemons stand first, then apples, peaches and plums. Bananas are very good, especially when eaten in the morning before taking other food. Be sure and not eat too much of anything. It is better to feel a little hungry than to eat an ounce too much. Those who desire a warm drink may find some cereal coffee palatable and beneficial. Whole wheat or brown breads are more desirable than white breads, as they contain less starch properties.[Pg 206]

"Rich foods like pastries, cakes, candies, gravies, and fatty meats should be avoided. Tea and coffee stimulate the nerves and brain, making them harmful for both mother and child. Wines and any kind of liquor should be strongly discouraged. All cereals can be consumed freely, although oat products aren’t as advisable as wheat grains since oats can be more heating. Eat plenty of fruits, especially the sour ones. Oranges and lemons are the best, followed by apples, peaches, and plums. Bananas are great, especially if eaten in the morning before any other food. Make sure not to overeat. It’s better to feel a bit hungry than to eat too much. If you want a warm drink, some cereal coffee can be tasty and beneficial. Whole wheat or brown bread is better than white bread, as it contains less starch.[Pg 206]

"The 'morning sickness' may be done away with by eating several plain crackers—soda or graham—before rising. Eat them while lying down, and lie still for five minutes. Then get up slowly and gently. The juice of a lemon or a banana will often do the same towards removing this weakening annoyance. Generally if fruit is eaten just before going to bed, no nausea is felt in the morning.

"Morning sickness can often be relieved by eating a few plain crackers—either soda or graham—before getting out of bed. Have them while still lying down and stay still for five minutes. Then, get up slowly and gently. The juice of a lemon or a banana can also help ease this uncomfortable feeling. Usually, if you eat fruit right before bed, you won't feel nauseous in the morning."

"As to dress: No garment should be worn that throws any weight or pressure anywhere. Hang all from the shoulders. A corded waist with shoulder-straps, and buttons for the skirts, will be comfortable. By all means have everything as light in weight as possible. Dress warmly, but let nothing be tight or heavy. Wear low-heeled, broad-soled shoes, so as to keep the legs and feet from swelling under the strain of the extra weight they must carry.

"As for clothing: No outfit should be worn that puts any weight or pressure anywhere. Everything should hang from the shoulders. A cinched waist with shoulder straps and buttons for the skirts will be comfortable. Make sure everything is as lightweight as possible. Dress warmly, but avoid anything tight or heavy. Wear low-heeled, wide-soled shoes to prevent your legs and feet from swelling under the extra weight they have to support."

"Plenty of judicious exercise is necessary. Housework and light gardening are unequaled, though the heavier work, such as washing, scrubbing or lifting, reaching up, pulling, or any kind of strain, is dangerous. Climbing stairs and hills is one of the best exercises. Breathe deeply and fully, filling the lungs all the way down. The majority of women only breathe with the upper part of their lungs, and have no chest expansion. A healthy woman ought to be able to increase her chest measure at least two inches by a full inhalation. Deep breathing not only gives the mother more strength, but it gives the unborn child a gentle exercise[Pg 207] by means of the motion of the mother's body at each breath, and renders its whole system purer and stronger. Keep the mouth closed, and this forces deep breathing. Climb hills and stairs with mouth shut, head well up, shoulders back, and breathe as fully as possible while climbing.

"Getting enough sensible exercise is important. Housework and light gardening are great, but heavier tasks like washing, scrubbing, lifting, reaching, pulling, or any kind of strain can be harmful. Climbing stairs and hills is one of the best ways to exercise. Breathe deeply and fully, filling your lungs completely. Most women only breathe with the upper part of their lungs and don’t expand their chests. A healthy woman should be able to expand her chest measurement by at least two inches with a full inhale. Deep breathing not only gives mothers more strength, but it also provides gentle exercise to the unborn child through the motion of the mother's body with each breath, helping to purify and strengthen its entire system. Keep your mouth closed to encourage deep breathing. Climb hills and stairs with your mouth shut, head held high, shoulders back, and breathe as fully as you can while climbing.[Pg 207]"

"Exercise freely, but do not overdo it. Any fatigue drains from the fetus its vitality and development, which is its birthright, and which is the duty of every woman to give her child.

"Exercise freely, but don’t push it too hard. Any exhaustion takes away from the fetus’s vitality and development, which is its birthright, and it’s every woman’s responsibility to provide for her child."

"A tepid sitz bath, taken for fifteen minutes just before going to bed, will induce sound, refreshing sleep, and at the same time keep the parts pliable and soften the muscles. Dry thoroughly and cover warmly, to avoid risk of chill. Frequent bathing in cold water will keep the circulation good, and should always be followed by gentle rubbing with a rough towel. Massage with olive oil will remove any tendency to a tension of the skin as it is distended.

A warm sitz bath for fifteen minutes before bed will help you sleep well and make your muscles more flexible. Be sure to dry off completely and keep yourself warm to avoid getting cold. Regular cold water baths will improve your circulation and should always be followed by gentle rubbing with a rough towel. Massaging with olive oil will help relieve any tension in the skin as it stretches.

"A strong solution of alum applied to the nipples each night, and allowed to dry on, will harden the skin and prevent soreness from nursing.

A strong solution of alum applied to the nipples each night and allowed to dry will toughen the skin and prevent soreness from nursing.

"Maintain as erect a position at all work as possible, as stooping brings pressure where it will do the most harm.

"Keep an upright posture while working as much as possible, since bending puts stress where it can cause the most damage."

"It is best to wait until the third day at least after the child is born before changing the diet, and then the mother should eat freely of all that she has avoided during pregnancy, in order to give her milk the qualities the child now needs.[Pg 208]

"It’s ideal to wait until at least the third day after the child is born before changing the diet. Then, the mother should eat whatever she avoided during pregnancy to provide her milk with the qualities the child needs now.[Pg 208]

"As it is the duty of all parents to give to their children the very best of themselves, the only way to do this is to give them the care before their birth that they intend giving them after birth.

"As it is the responsibility of all parents to provide their children with the best of themselves, the only way to achieve this is by giving them the care before their birth that they plan to give them after birth."

"In evidence of the benefits of this diet, compare these two experiences of the same mother:

"In support of the benefits of this diet, compare these two experiences of the same mother:

"Mixed diet, rich foods of all kinds, poor hygiene, incorrect exercise. Result, ten-pound child; fifteen hours labor, very severe; mother sat up for the first time on tenth day.

"Mixed diet, rich foods of all kinds, poor hygiene, and inadequate exercise. Result: a ten-pound baby; labor lasted fifteen hours and was very intense; the mother sat up for the first time on the tenth day."

"Fruit diet, all the preceding rules followed. Result, seven and one-half-pound child; labor one hour, not at all severe; mother sat up eight hours after; up and dressed on the sixth day. Perfect health after, for both mother and child."

"Fruit diet, all the previous rules followed. Result: a seven and a half-pound baby; labor lasted one hour and wasn't very intense; the mother was sitting up eight hours later; up and dressed on the sixth day. Both mother and baby were in perfect health afterward."

We can heartily endorse the directions of the writer in every particular, but think it important to suggest that some of the greatest mistakes made after confinement are by impatience to have the mother enjoy the privilege of sitting up, going to the table for her meals, and returning to the ordinary duties of daily life. We have elsewhere indicated the changes which take place at this period, and which call for an entire revolution in the physical condition of the mother. This cannot be accomplished in a few days, or even in a couple of weeks. In most instances it is safe for the young mother to expect to remain at least six weeks in her room before thinking of being a guest at the family table. A mistake at this time may eventuate[Pg 209] in permanent results which will render the mother an invalid for all the rest of her life.

We fully support the writer's advice in every way, but we think it's important to point out that some of the biggest mistakes made after giving birth come from being too impatient for the mother to sit up, have meals at the table, and return to her usual daily routines. We have explained before the changes that happen during this time, which require a complete adjustment in the mother's physical condition. This transformation can't happen in just a few days or even a couple of weeks. In most cases, a new mother should plan to stay in her room for at least six weeks before considering joining the family at the table. A mistake at this time could lead to permanent consequences, which could leave the mother with health issues for the rest of her life.[Pg 209]

But there is another side to this question which cannot be passed over at this point without great injustice to the sacredness and importance of the subject. The self-denials and trials during the period of gestation do not all fall to the lot of the wife. With her the sexual sense has been satisfied and has become quiescent, while in the husband it continues active, and sometimes even seems imperious. If he is to treat his wife with proper consideration he should allow nothing to stimulate or excite his sexual passion, but should be able to hold himself in the best physical poise and under the wisest sexual self-control.

But there's another aspect of this issue that can't be overlooked at this point without doing a disservice to the significance and importance of the topic. The sacrifices and challenges during the period of pregnancy don't solely fall on the wife. For her, the sexual urge has been fulfilled and has settled down, while for the husband, it remains active and sometimes feels overwhelming. If he wants to treat his wife with the respect she deserves, he should avoid anything that might stimulate or excite his sexual desires and should be able to maintain his physical composure and practice wise sexual self-control.

Any one who has observed the life of birds and animals, and indeed of all animate life, cannot have been blind to the fact that after impregnation the female never receives the male, and the male, neither of beast or bird or reptile, never forces himself upon the female; while the young life is being developed in the body of the female the sexes remain absolutely apart. If we are to learn anything from universal nature in this particular, we would seem to be taught that the same should be true with husband and wife.

Anyone who has watched the lives of birds and animals, and indeed all living beings, can't have missed the fact that after mating, the female never receives the male, and the male, whether beast, bird, or reptile, never imposes himself on the female; while the young life is growing in the female's body, the sexes remain completely apart. If we are to learn anything from nature in this regard, it seems to suggest that the same should apply to husband and wife.

It is a notable fact that among the heathen in polygamous countries the husband always remains apart from a wife in whom life has already been begun. Strange to say, in civilized and Christian countries medical writers[Pg 210] and intelligent people are not always in accord. That the reader may understand something of the positions which are taken, we quote from a few well-known writers:

It’s important to note that in polygamous cultures, husbands usually keep their distance from wives who are already pregnant. Oddly enough, in civilized and Christian nations, medical professionals[Pg 210] and educated individuals often disagree. To help the reader grasp the views being expressed, we’ll share insights from a few well-known authors:

In his book entitled "The Physical Life of Woman," Dr. George H. Napheys says: "During those days when the wife, if she were not pregnant, would have been 'unwell,' marital intercourse should be abstained from. It is then injurious to the mother and dangerous to the life of the child, as it is liable to excite miscarriage. But if this habitual epoch of the monthly sickness be avoided, there is no reason why passion should not be gratified in moderation and with caution during the whole period of pregnancy. There is one exception to be made to this general course of conduct. In those cases in which a miscarriage has occurred in the first pregnancy, every precaution should be employed to prevent its happening again after a second conception. Under such exceptional circumstances, therefore, the husband and wife should sleep apart during the first five months of pregnancy. After that period their ordinary relations may be resumed. When a miscarriage has taken place, intercourse should not be permitted within a month of the accident. The observance of this direction is of the utmost importance. Its neglect is the frequent cause of severe and intractable diseases of the womb."

In his book titled "The Physical Life of Woman," Dr. George H. Napheys states: "During those days when the wife, if she isn’t pregnant, would be considered 'unwell,' couples should avoid marital intercourse. It can be harmful to the mother and risky for the child's life, as it might lead to a miscarriage. However, if this regular time of the monthly cycle is avoided, there's no reason why intimacy shouldn't be enjoyed in moderation and with caution throughout the entire pregnancy. There is one exception to this general advice. In cases where a miscarriage happened during the first pregnancy, all precautions should be taken to prevent it from happening again after a second conception. In such exceptional situations, the husband and wife should sleep apart during the first five months of pregnancy. After that period, their regular relations can resume. When a miscarriage has occurred, intercourse should not happen within a month after the event. Following this guideline is extremely important. Ignoring it is often the cause of severe and persistent womb diseases."

Another, when speaking of the effects of coition during this period, says: "The organ of amativeness is frequently too largely devel[Pg 211]oped in the embryonic offspring by the excessive indulgence of parents in sexual pleasures during the period of gestation. After the birth of the child, he is usually fed on meat, tea and coffee, and other stimulating food and drink, fit only for persons of adult age, by which sexual precocity is produced."

Another, when discussing the effects of intercourse during this time, says: "The area related to love is often overly developed in the unborn child due to parents' excessive engagement in sexual activities during pregnancy. After the child is born, they are typically fed meat, tea, and coffee, along with other stimulating foods and drinks that are only suitable for adults, leading to early sexual development."

Dr. John Cowan, in "The Science of a New Life," says, with emphasis: "I will again repeat that during this full period of gestative influence, as well as during the period of nursing, sexual congress should not be had between husband and wife. This is the law of Nature, the law of God, and outside of Christendom it is never violated. Animals will not permit it—savages will not permit it, and over three-quarters of the world it is looked upon as infamous by our own species. A man acting out the licentiousness of his nature with his wife during gestation is worse than a brute—in fact, there is no species of the animal to which he can be compared, unless it be to the tobacco, whiskey-soaked hanger-on to a rum-shop—whose life is an epitome of tobacco, whiskey and licentiousness. Do not, I pray you, oh, parents, do this unclean thing. Do not taint your clean bodies, do not foul your pure souls with the lustful of your natures, while a new body is being developed, a new soul being organized; but by sweet words, loving caresses, endearing action and warm kisses cultivate within you the love element that, in its pure exercise, joins together two souls, and brings in its path such a measure[Pg 212] of peace and happiness as must be realized ere it can be appreciated."

Dr. John Cowan, in "The Science of a New Life," emphasizes: "I want to repeat that during the entire period of pregnancy and also while nursing, husbands and wives shouldn't engage in sexual relations. This is the natural law, the law of God, and outside of Christian societies, it is never broken. Animals don’t allow it—primitive tribes don’t allow it, and in over three-quarters of the world, it is seen as disgraceful by our own kind. A man who acts on his base instincts with his wife during pregnancy is worse than an animal—in fact, there's no type of animal he can be compared to, except perhaps a drunken, tobacco-addicted patron of a bar—whose life is a blend of tobacco, alcohol, and debauchery. Please, dear parents, don’t do this unclean thing. Don’t stain your pure bodies, don’t corrupt your innocent souls with your carnal desires while a new life is being created, a new soul is being formed; instead, with kind words, loving touches, affectionate actions, and warm kisses, nurture the love within you that, when expressed in its purest form, unites two souls and brings about such a level of peace and happiness that can only be understood once experienced."

Writing of the physical needs of the mother during the period of gestation, Dr. Napheys says: "During this period the whole force of the economy at these times is taken up with providing sustenance for the new being, and there is no nervous power left to be wasted in barren pleasures. In those exceptionable cases where this does not hold, every excitement is visited upon the child, and it has to suffer in health and growth for the unnatural appetite of the mother."

Writing about a mother's physical needs during pregnancy, Dr. Napheys says: "During this time, all of the body's energy is focused on providing nutrition for the developing baby, leaving no nervous energy to be spent on pointless pleasures. In those rare instances where this is not the case, every stimulation affects the child, which may suffer in health and growth due to the mother's unnatural cravings."

Dr. J. R. Black says: "Coition during pregnancy is one of the ways in which the predisposition is made for that terrible disease in children, epilepsy. The natural excitement of the nervous system in the mother by such a cause cannot operate otherwise than inflicting injury upon the tender germ in the womb."

Dr. J. R. Black says: "Having sex during pregnancy is one of the ways that increases the risk for a serious disease in children, epilepsy. The natural excitement of the mother's nervous system caused by this can only harm the delicate embryo in the womb."

Dr. J. H. Kellogg says: "Indulgence during pregnancy is followed by the worst results of any form of marital excess. The mother suffers doubly, because laden with the burden of supporting two lives instead of one. But the results upon the child are especially disastrous. During the time when it is receiving its stock of vitality, while its plastic form is being molded, and its various organs are acquiring that integrity of structure which makes up what is called constitutional vigor—during this most critical of all periods in the life of the new being, its forces are exhausted and its structure is depraved, and[Pg 213] thus constitutional tendencies to disease are produced by the unnatural demands made upon the mother."

Dr. J. H. Kellogg says: "Indulgence during pregnancy leads to the worst outcomes of any type of marital excess. The mother suffers even more because she has to support two lives instead of just one. But the effects on the child are especially harmful. During the time when the child is gathering its vitality, while its delicate form is being shaped, and its various organs are developing the structure that creates what we call constitutional vigor—during this most critical time in the life of the new being, its energy is drained, and its structure is damaged, and[Pg 213] this creates constitutional tendencies to disease due to the unnatural demands placed on the mother."

The same author adds: "Still another terrible consequence results from this practice so contrary to nature. The delicate brain, which is being molded with the other organs of the body, receives its cast largely from those mental and nervous sensations and actions of the mother which are the most intense. One of the most certain effects of sexual indulgence at this time is to develop abnormally the sexual instinct in the child. Here is the key to the origin of much of the sexual precocity and depravity which curse humanity. Sexuality is born in the soul of a large share of the rising generation."

The same author adds: "Another awful consequence arises from this practice that goes against nature. The sensitive brain, which is being shaped along with the other organs of the body, takes its form largely from the most intense mental and nervous sensations and actions of the mother. One of the most certain effects of sexual indulgence during this time is the abnormal development of the sexual instinct in the child. This is the key to the origin of much of the sexual precociousness and depravity that plague humanity. Sexuality is rooted in the souls of a significant portion of the upcoming generation."

In her book, entitled "Tokology," Dr. Alice B. Stockham says: "If the law of continence is not the law to govern one's entire life, it is natural and reasonable that the mother should be exempt from the sexual relation during gestation."

In her book, titled "Tokology," Dr. Alice B. Stockham states: "If the principle of self-control isn't meant to guide one's whole life, it's only natural and reasonable that a mother should abstain from sexual relations during pregnancy."

In an excellent little book, entitled "Approaching Maternity," a physician of experience says: "A man once told me that the easiest delivery his wife had ever had took place two days sooner than expected, and one day after he had had connection with her! Thank heaven, there are not many such brutes as this! What really took place was a miscarriage, in my opinion, superinduced by coition. That it was not troublesome was a piece of good luck, and must have been the result of the woman's[Pg 214] excellent condition. It is better that during the entire pregnancy sexual intercourse should be abstained from. During coition the uterus is subjected to great disturbance; congestion of many of the parts follows, and the effect upon the nerves is of a harmful nature. The entire vital energy of the woman is needed and should be saved for the coming event, and the husband should practice self-control and forego selfish indulgence at this time. Strive rather to elevate and develop the intellectual side of the woman, and if her mind is kept occupied upon helpful, entertaining subjects, a good result will show later on."

In a great little book called "Approaching Maternity," an experienced doctor says: "A man once told me that the easiest delivery his wife ever had happened two days earlier than expected, and just one day after they had sex! Thank goodness there aren't many people like that! What actually happened was a miscarriage, in my opinion, triggered by intercourse. That it wasn’t problematic was just luck, and it must have been because the woman was in excellent shape. It's better to avoid sexual intercourse for the entire pregnancy. During sex, the uterus experiences significant disturbance; many parts become congested, and the impact on the nerves is detrimental. The woman needs all of her vital energy for the upcoming event, and the husband should exercise self-control and give up selfish desires during this time. Instead, focus on uplifting and nurturing the woman's intellectual side, and if her mind is kept engaged with positive, entertaining topics, it will lead to a better outcome later on."

When we remember that in procreation God has endowed us with the power to continue his work of creation and realize the sacred responsibilities in calling a new life into being, we cannot but feel that from the very hour of conception the mother is overshadowed by the Most High. In the fulfillment of her sacred office she should surely be delivered from all polluting intrusions, and be permitted to live a life of spotless purity. To say the very least, there surely is something very suggestive in the statement of the first chapter of Matthew concerning the parents of the child Jesus. When he had been begotten of the Holy Ghost, Mary was not to be deprived of the companionship, love and sympathy of Joseph, and therefore when he thought to put her away privily, he was told "fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.[Pg 215] Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife, and knew her not till she had brought forth her first-born son." While it was essential that the fatherhood of the Messiah should be above all question, yet may it not be true that the development and bringing forth of a child which shall be most like unto this Prince of Peace always demands an undisturbed maternity?

When we remember that in procreation God has given us the ability to continue His work of creation and recognize the sacred responsibilities involved in bringing a new life into existence, we can't help but feel that from the moment of conception, the mother is under the protection of the Most High. In fulfilling her sacred role, she should definitely be free from all unclean intrusions and allowed to live a life of pure innocence. At the very least, there’s something deeply significant in what the first chapter of Matthew says about the parents of Jesus. After He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, Mary was not meant to be without the companionship, love, and support of Joseph. So, when he thought about quietly ending their relationship, he was told, "Don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.[Pg 215] Then Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took Mary as his wife, and did not have relations with her until she had given birth to her firstborn son." While it was crucial that the identity of the Messiah's father be absolutely clear, could it be that the development and birth of a child who is most like this Prince of Peace requires an undisturbed motherhood?

We would not like to take an extreme position upon this subject, but we are persuaded that what we have presented here is worthy of the thoughtful consideration of all husbands and wives who seek their own highest good and the greatest blessing and well-being of the children which are to be.

We don’t want to take an extreme stance on this topic, but we believe that what we've shared here deserves careful consideration from all husbands and wives who are looking for their own best interests as well as the greatest blessings and well-being of their future children.

It is well for young husbands and wives to know that by incautiousness in their relations during this period miscarriage is often easily and actually produced, and unsuspecting parents have oftentimes been the authors, not only of the death of their own child, but the consequences have entailed permanent injuries upon the young wife, and oftentimes resulted in death itself.

It’s important for young husbands and wives to understand that being careless in their relationship during this time can often lead to miscarriage, and unsuspecting parents have frequently caused not only the death of their own child but also permanent injuries to the young wife, and sometimes even death itself.


CHAPTER XIV.

THE CHANGES WHICH PRECEDE, ATTEND AND FOLLOW CONCEPTION AND CHILDBIRTH.

From the moment of conception, during the months of gestation, at the time of childbirth and after, changes of great interest take place in the germ of human life and in the body of the mother. Her body is marvelously fitted for the reception and development of the ovum, the embryo and the fetus through the various stages of fertilization, germination, development, maturity, to the time of the eventual exit of the child into the outer world to begin its own independent life.

From the moment of conception, throughout the months of pregnancy, during childbirth, and afterward, significant changes occur in the germ of human life and in the mother's body. Her body is incredibly designed to support the reception and growth of the egg, the embryo, and the fetus through the various stages of fertilization, development, and maturity, until the eventual moment when the child enters the world to begin its own independent life.

Something of the adaptation of the body of the mother to its marvelous purpose may the better appear if we think of some of the greatest mechanical achievements of man.

Something about how the mother's body adapts to its remarkable purpose might be clearer if we consider some of humanity's greatest engineering accomplishments.

A watch is one of the best products of human ingenuity. It has taken nearly six thousand years to produce it. It is a wonderful piece of mechanism, yet it is, after all, not a complex product like the human body. If a watch could be constructed that could oil and renew its own parts, so as not to stop or break, or need repairing or oiling or cleaning, such a product would be more complex. But if, in addition to running on uninterruptedly for a long series of years, or almost an entire century, suppose it could be[Pg 217] so constructed and constituted that, without interrupting the orderly movement of its works or its accuracy and correctness, it should, at intervals, produce other watches like itself. Truly such a watch would be a marvelous complexity. Yet just such a complexity is found in all the forms of vegetable and animal life about us. Interesting as is the study of life at any stage, it is specially interesting and impressive during the periods which preface, accomplish and follow the wonderful period of gestation; and it is specially important that the individual who stands so closely related to this profound and awe-inspiring mystery as does a young husband should have such knowledge of what this condition has to teach as comes within the realm of human understanding—both because of its importance to his own happiness, the happiness, safety and well-being of the mother and her offspring, and because such knowledge will tend to purify the mind of those gross and debasing thoughts which too frequently cluster about the most important and most sacred relations of married life and the endearments of home.

A watch is one of the greatest achievements of human creativity. It has taken nearly six thousand years to perfect it. It’s an impressive piece of machinery, yet it's not as complex as the human body. If we could create a watch that could oil and repair itself so it wouldn’t stop, break, or need maintenance, it would be more complicated. But imagine if, in addition to running continuously for many years or almost an entire century, it could be built to produce other watches like itself without disrupting its precise movements or accuracy at regular intervals. Such a watch would truly be a remarkable complexity. Yet, this kind of complexity is found in all forms of plant and animal life around us. The study of life is fascinating at any stage, but it's especially captivating and significant during the crucial periods before, during, and after the miraculous process of gestation. It’s essential for someone closely connected to this profound and awe-inspiring mystery, like a young husband, to understand what this condition teaches us—because of its importance to his own happiness, the happiness, safety, and well-being of the mother and child, and because this understanding can help eliminate the coarse and degrading thoughts that often surround the most important and sacred aspects of married life and the joys of home.

Something of what these changes are which precede, attend and follow reproduction in the human family may be beautifully seen in a conservatory or garden, or even learned from the frail flower that blooms by the roadside.

Something about the changes that happen before, during, and after reproduction in the human family can be clearly observed in a conservatory or garden, or even understood from the delicate flower that grows by the roadside.

When, in the springtime or summer days, the plant has reached its maturity, as instinctively as if it foresaw in the coming days of autumn and in the ice and snow of winter the possibility[Pg 218] not only of death but of total extinction, its entire nature centres in one grand struggle to escape pending extermination and live, if not in its own body, yet in the life and beauty that shall be reproduced in the plants that are already begotten in the longing for the perpetuity of its own life. The dual parent-nature is quickened. Forgetting the present, and longing for a place and a part when the warm and quickening breath of spring shall again usher in a new day of life and beauty upon the earth the plant henceforth lives, not for the present, but for the future; not for itself, but for those that are to be. The buds begin to form. The plant has learned the purpose of being and throbs with the mystery of life. In the thought of death it has learned to live. In fear of extinction it has learned to perpetuate and multiply itself a hundredfold. The flower unfolds. The dual parent-nature of the plant lives with intensity in their common effort. The flower is in a passion of beauty, in an agony of splendor, perfuming the nuptial hour with a sweetness that distills upon the air, arresting the hurrying steps of all who pass by. Who shall dare to interrupt that ceremonial, whose ruthless hand shall dare defeat that high and holy purpose? The fragrance invites the bees and insects to the nuptial feast. For them there is pollen and nectar in abundance. They bear gifts of quickening pollen from other plants, or swing the anther censers that waited the coming of expected guests. The corolla of beauty screens the en[Pg 219]chanted participants. The ceremonial is over, the hour is ended. The ovules have felt the thrill of life, the beauty fades, the fragrance is gone, the wedding-garments are laid aside, and henceforth the father-nature and the mother-nature of the plant live not for themselves, but for the life they have begotten, and the plants that shall be. Their joy abides, and they live in the glad hope of participation, in the succeeding resurrection of the life and beauty and fragrance that is to await the coming of another springtime.

When spring or summer arrives and the plant has matured, it instinctively senses the impending autumn and the harshness of winter, foreseeing the possibility of not just death, but complete extinction. Its entire being focuses on the struggle to evade this looming threat and to survive, if not in its own form, then through the life and beauty that will manifest in the new plants it creates in an effort to ensure the continuity of its existence. The dual nature of parenthood awakens. Forgetting the present, it yearns for the time when the warm breath of spring will once again bring a new day of life and beauty to the earth. From this point on, the plant lives not for the moment, but for the future; not for itself, but for those yet to come. The buds start to form. The plant discovers its purpose and pulses with the essence of life. Through thoughts of death, it learns to thrive. In its fear of extinction, it finds ways to extend and multiply itself exponentially. The flower blossoms. The plant’s dual parent nature exists vibrantly within their shared efforts. The flower radiates beauty, almost in a painful brilliance, filling the air with a sweet scent that stops everyone passing by. Who would dare to disrupt this ceremony? Who would risk undermining such a noble and sacred purpose? The fragrance attracts bees and other insects to the celebration. There's plenty of pollen and nectar for them. They bring gifts of life-giving pollen from other plants or sway the anthers that anticipate their arrival. The flower’s beauty conceals these enchanting guests. The ceremony concludes, the moment is over. The ovules have experienced the thrill of life, the beauty fades, the fragrance disappears, the wedding garments are put aside, and from now on, the plant’s father and mother nature exist not for their own sake, but for the life they have created and the future plants that will arise. Their joy remains, and they hold onto the hope of being part of the upcoming revival of life, beauty, and fragrance that awaits another spring.

What we have written in allegory takes place in fact. Every intelligent observer has noted the depth of color, passionate beauty, and sweet fragrance of the flower as the hour approaches when the stigma awaits the pollen which is to fertilize the ovules that lie hidden away in the ovary or pod. When that union has been effected the flower fades, its petals fall off; the calyx, which as a vase held the corolla erect in its splendor, but which remains to shield and protect the ovules or little seeds which are being formed and perfected, now droops, turning toward the earth. Is this a sign of sadness, or that there is no longer any joy in life? No, no, not at all. It is the evidence of its fidelity to the sacred trust that has been committed to it. It has found a new joy, a more abiding happiness. Then it held up the corolla that the sun and the angels might look in upon the happy and holy beginnings of life, while now, in the protection of its sacred trust, it[Pg 220] turns down, that it may shed the rain and everything that might intrude or hurt the tender plant that is so mysteriously encased in that pod that enlarges with the growing life that is within it.

What we've written in metaphor is truly happening. Every observant person has seen the vivid colors, intense beauty, and delightful scent of the flower as the moment nears when the stigma awaits the pollen that will fertilize the hidden ovules inside the ovary or pod. Once that union occurs, the flower wilts, its petals drop off; the calyx, which once held the corolla proudly in its beauty, now droops, turning towards the ground to protect the ovules or tiny seeds being formed and nurtured. Does this droop signify sadness or a lack of joy in life? No, not at all. It shows its commitment to the sacred responsibility entrusted to it. It has discovered a new joy, a deeper happiness. It once held up the corolla for the sun and angels to witness the joyful and holy beginnings of life, but now, in fulfilling its sacred duty, it turns downwards to shield the rain and anything that might harm the delicate plant securely nestled in the pod that swells with the life growing inside.

What is true in the reproductive life of plants is also true in the reproductive life of man. The changes that take place at the moment of conception and during the period of gestation are full of marvelous beauty and profound mystery. The bright eyes, the ruby lips, the ruddy glow on the cheeks, the comely attire, the attractive manner, the persuasive sweetness, the subtle but indescribable attractiveness, are manifestations in human life of what may be seen and studied with such impressiveness in the reproductive life of the flower. The changes which follow may not be as immediate; and while, to the unknowing and unobservant, they may not at first be totally unobserved, yet to the devout student they are quite as manifest and pronounced as in the flowers; and the study of these changes which attend the beginning, the growth and the completion of reproduction is one of great interest to every intelligent person, although its clear presentation to those who have no knowledge whatever of the subject is attended with some difficulty.

What is true in the reproductive life of plants is also true in the reproductive life of humans. The changes that happen at the moment of conception and throughout the period of pregnancy are full of incredible beauty and deep mystery. The bright eyes, the ruby lips, the rosy glow on the cheeks, the nice clothing, the appealing demeanor, the charming sweetness, and the subtle but indescribable allure are all expressions in human life of what can be observed and studied so impressively in the reproductive life of flowers. The changes that follow may not be as immediate; and while they may not be completely unnoticed by the uninformed and inattentive, to the dedicated observer, they are just as clear and significant as in flowers. The study of these changes that occur during the beginning, growth, and completion of reproduction is of great interest to every thoughtful person, although explaining it clearly to those who know nothing about the topic can be somewhat challenging.

As the birds at the mating season put on their most gorgeous plumage, sing their sweetest songs, and in the building of their nests work in sweetest accord, so it is also in human life. When the nest is completed, the eggs laid, and[Pg 221] the incubation or hatching begins, the plumage soon loses some of its lustre, the songs become less frequent, and the parent birds prepare for the feeding and care of the bird-life that is soon to fill the nest.

As birds prepare for mating season, they flaunt their brightest feathers, sing their best songs, and work together harmoniously to build their nests. The same can be said for human life. Once the nest is finished, the eggs are laid, and the incubation or hatching starts, the vibrant feathers start to lose some of their shine, the songs become less frequent, and the parent birds get ready to feed and nurture the new chicks that will soon occupy the nest.

But all this quickening of life and growth that takes place in the egg within the nest under the warm body of the mother-bird, in the human mother takes place within the nest or cradle which God has prepared within her body. Her young is of a higher order. The protection and preservation of the unfolding human life is more important, and hence the greater care displayed in guarding and nourishing it.

But all this rapid development and growth that happens in the egg inside the nest under the warm body of the mother bird occurs in the human mother within the nest or cradle that God has created in her body. Her child is of a higher order. The protection and nurturing of the developing human life is more important, and therefore there is greater care shown in safeguarding and supporting it.

The future mother, whose nature only recently craved her husband's caresses and embraces, now, perhaps all unconsciously to herself, changes, to fit her for the better completion of the sacred and holy work which God has assigned her. The eye loses somewhat of its lustre, the cheek its ruddy glow, and her entire being something of that pervasive sweetness which but recently made her peculiarly attractive. But to the intelligent husband and true father she is none the less, but rather the more, an object of love and adoration; and if she is intelligent, and understands the high and holy nature of that which is being wrought within her own body, and the exalted honor which God has bestowed upon her in making her a co-creator with himself, she will not manifest the belligerent and uncompanionable spirit which[Pg 222] too often characterizes the bearing of some women during this period of unfolding life.

The future mother, who not long ago longed for her husband's affection and hugs, now, maybe without even realizing it, changes to better fulfill the sacred and holy work that God has entrusted to her. Her eyes lose some of their shine, her cheeks their rosy glow, and her whole being loses a bit of the sweetness that once made her especially attractive. But to the caring husband and devoted father, she is no less, but rather even more, an object of love and admiration; and if she is insightful and understands the significant and sacred nature of what is happening within her body, along with the elevated honor that God has given her in making her a co-creator with Him, she will not display the hostile and unfriendly attitude that too often characterizes the demeanor of some women during this transformative time of life.

While it is true that the changes which accompany this period are more marked in woman than in man, yet when we remember that a close study of the reproductive nature of man in married life discloses a responsiveness to her condition and desires, it will readily be understood that during the period of his wife's gestation his nature is measurably moderated by her condition, for in health the reproductive nature of man is responsive to the promptings of his wife. The poet wisely says:

While it’s true that the changes that happen during this time are more noticeable in women than in men, we should remember that a close look at a man’s reproductive nature in married life shows that he responds to his wife’s condition and desires. It’s easy to see that during his wife’s pregnancy, his nature is somewhat influenced by her state, because when healthy, a man’s reproductive nature reacts to his wife’s signals. The poet wisely says:

"As the bow is to the cord,
So to the man is woman.
Even though she bends to him, she still follows his lead; Even though she attracts him, she still trails behind—
"Useless without each other."

Where existing facts in any particular case are discordant with this poetic figure the causes can usually be found in an abnormal passion in the man, or a measurable absence of sexual inclination in the woman, frequently caused by ruinous modes of life and dress. While human beings are generally very different in this respect from the lower animals, yet something of what these changes are may be suggested by noting the changes which take place in bird life. As the wave of life rises to its crest in the male nature, every department of his being is aroused to greatest activity and perfection. His plumage becomes lustrous, he sings with sweetest note. In some of the ani[Pg 223]mals the intensity of his vitality bursts out in a growth of great antlers; but when the mating season is passed the plumage fades; the antlers drop off as the receding tide of life sets in. These marked changes among the animals are by no means paralleled in man; yet there are semblances or faint shadows of them in the modifying of the male nature.

Where the facts in any particular case clash with this poetic idea, the reasons can often be traced back to an intense passion in the man or a noticeable lack of sexual interest in the woman, often caused by unhealthy lifestyles and fashion choices. While people are generally quite different from lower animals in this regard, some insights can be gleaned by observing changes in bird behavior. As the peak of life energy surges in males, every part of their being is stimulated to its highest activity and development. Their feathers become shiny, and they sing their sweetest songs. In some animals, the full force of their vitality manifests in the growth of large antlers; but once the mating season ends, the feathers lose their luster, and the antlers fall away as the decline of life energy begins. These significant changes in animals do not have direct parallels in humans; however, there are similarities or faint reflections of them in the evolution of male nature.

While such external and manifest changes as we have indicated are taking place, marvelous things are being wrought within the mother's body. The ovum or egg (for that is what it truly is), after it has left the place where it matured in the ovary, is impregnated by the spermatozoön, which, in its restless search for the ovum, presses forward from the place where it was liberated in the vagina, up through the womb, and out through the Fallopian tube toward the ovary; or the ovum may pass through the Fallopian tube and into the womb, to await for a brief period or a few days the coming of the sperm or spermatozoön, without which it must remain incomplete and perish.

While all these noticeable changes are happening, amazing things are occurring inside the mother's body. The egg, or ovum (which is what it actually is), once it leaves the ovary where it matured, gets fertilized by the sperm, which, in its relentless quest for the ovum, travels from where it was released in the vagina, through the uterus, and into the Fallopian tube toward the ovary. Alternatively, the ovum might move through the Fallopian tube and into the uterus, where it will wait for a short time or a few days for the sperm, without which it will remain incomplete and eventually die.

God might just as easily have ordained that the ovum should be complete in itself, and that, without any intervention or co-operation, at appointed intervals the mother should bring forth her offspring. But there were reasons why this should not be. The begetting and bringing forth of human life involves issues too vast to be committed to a single individual. Without a defender or protector during this period when[Pg 224] the mother is rendered measurably helpless by her condition, would imperil the safety and even the life of both parent and child. Two must share the risks and the responsibilities. The father, during this period and that which follows, is to bear the burdens of life largely alone. He is to provide food and shelter. He is to be the guardian and the defender of his more dependent companion. Should exposure or peril result in the death of the mother, the child must not be left without a natural guardian and caretaker. This young life is too precious to be exposed to possible peril. Its care, its nurture, its education is too important even to be risked with a single parent. The mother might "forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb," and it was important that the child should then have another, who is bound by natural and moral obligations, and by bonds of personal interest and tenderest affection, to care for it. This double parentage gives the child four grandparents instead of two, and eight great-grandparents instead of four. In this wise way the child is knit to many in an obligation to nurture and care for it, should necessity arise. If physical, mental and moral infirmity should exist in the mother, the force of such infirmity must be reasonably broken by a new stream of influences which tend to liberate the child from any inheritance of incapacity. If the father is wicked or worthless, the child is to find its defender and caretaker in its mother;[Pg 225] or, should the mother possess these bad qualities, the child may find in its father its defense and help. The life and well-being of the child is so important that it must have two chances to be well-born and well-reared.

God could have easily decided that the egg should be self-sufficient, and that, without any help or involvement, at specific times the mother would give birth to her babies. But there were reasons for not doing this. Creating and bringing human life into the world involves issues that are too significant to leave to just one person. Without support or protection during this time when the mother is somewhat helpless due to her state, the safety and even the lives of both the parent and child would be at risk. Two must share the challenges and responsibilities. The father, during this time and the time that follows, is to carry most of life’s burdens alone. He needs to provide food and shelter. He must be the guardian and protector of his more dependent partner. If hardship or danger leads to the mother’s death, the child should not be left without a natural guardian and caregiver. This young life is too valuable to be put in potential danger. Its care, upbringing, and education are too important to risk with just one parent. The mother might "forget her nursing child and not have compassion on the son of her womb," so it’s crucial that the child has another person, someone bound by natural and moral obligations, and by personal interest and deep affection, to look after it. This dual parentage gives the child four grandparents instead of two, and eight great-grandparents instead of four. In this way, the child is connected to many people who are obligated to nurture and care for it if needed. If the mother has physical, mental, or moral weaknesses, these challenges must be counterbalanced by new influences that help free the child from any inherited incapacity. If the father is abusive or unworthy, the child should find its protector and caregiver in the mother; or, if the mother has those negative traits, the child might find support in the father. The life and well-being of the child are so important that it deserves two chances to be well-born and well-raised.

But this relation of interdependence is not only for the well-being of the offspring, but for the highest physical, intellectual and moral development and well-being of both parents. Parenthood comes not only to the mother, molding, fashioning and perfecting her in every department of her being, but when intelligently and reverently assumed, when discharged with fidelity and self-denial, it has its priceless endowments for the father as well. In view of the Creator's full and sacred purpose, who shall dare invade, or even lightly assume, the far-reaching responsibilities which God has united to parenthood? "What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

But this connection of interdependence is important not just for the well-being of the children, but also for the best physical, intellectual, and moral growth and happiness of both parents. Parenthood impacts not only the mother, shaping and enhancing her in every aspect of her being, but when approached with intelligence and respect, and carried out with commitment and selflessness, it offers invaluable rewards for the father too. Considering the Creator’s complete and sacred purpose, who would dare to infringe upon, or even casually take on, the extensive responsibilities that God has tied to parenthood? "What God has joined together, let not man separate."

What intelligent man or woman shall dare trample under their feet all the sacred relations of life, and call into being an immortal spirit whose temporal and eternal destinies are to be affected by its advent into a world that is waiting to brand it because begotten of an illicit union? What husband or wife can regard with dishonor, or dare debase, the God-given powers of reproduction?

What smart man or woman would risk trampling on all the important relationships in life, and bring into existence an immortal spirit whose temporary and eternal fates are shaped by its arrival in a world that is ready to judge it because it comes from an illegitimate union? What husband or wife can look down on, or dare to disrespect, the God-given abilities of reproduction?

But to return to the subject of the changes which take place within the body of the mother during this period of wondrous interest. When the spermatozoa have been liberated in the[Pg 226] upper portion of the vagina at the cervix, or small opening which forms what is called the neck of the womb, although such minute microscopic objects that when laid end to end it would require five hundred of them to make an inch in length, yet, with that wonderful activity of which we have written in a previous chapter, they immediately seek the doorway into the womb, that mysterious chamber where the ovum may naturally be expected to await their coming. We correctly think of persons, and not of things, as possessed of intelligence and acting in accordance with reason, but this mysterious natal chamber within the mother's body appears instinct with intelligence. It seems almost as though across its portals were written, in a language which every object and every spermatozoön might read, the prohibition: "None save those who bear the gift of life may enter or tarry within these portals." The ovum may remain for a period, and the spermatozoa that seek the ovum may enter, but neither may tarry unless each yields itself to the other in that mysterious union which results in life. Apart or alone, after a brief period, they must alike be cast out; no idler may tarry there; but that semblance to innate intelligence which rejects or casts out any incomplete part as a foreign substance accords a hearty welcome to the ovum that has been quickened into a new life by the entrance of a spermatozoön. No mother ever embraced her newborn child more lovingly, or regarded it[Pg 227] with greater tenderness, than the womb receives the quickened ovum. When the ovum is quickened, every fibre of being thrills with a new purpose. A royal place is speedily prepared for the safety, nurture and development of the ovum. The entire nature of the mother now centres upon the accomplishment of a special work—that of developing and bringing forth the new life begotten within. Great changes are to be wrought not only in the ovum, but the enlarging life and new necessities are to be met by corresponding changes in the womb itself. Not only is the minute speck of life which is laid within this human cradle to develop into a fully-organized human being, but the cradle is to enlarge with the growth of its occupant, and respond to the varying needs of the unfolding and developing body within.

But to get back to the changes that happen in a mother's body during this fascinating period. When sperm is released in the[Pg 226] upper part of the vagina at the cervix, which is the small opening that forms the neck of the womb, these tiny microscopic cells—so small that it would take five hundred of them to make an inch long—immediately start moving towards the entrance of the womb, that mysterious space where the egg is expected to be waiting for them. We usually think of people, not things, as being intelligent and acting with reason, but this mysterious chamber within the mother's body seems to have its own kind of intelligence. It’s almost as if a sign is posted over its entrance, in a language understood by every object and sperm, stating: "Only those who carry the gift of life may enter or stay within these doors." The egg can stay for a while, and the sperm trying to reach it can enter, but neither can remain unless they join together in that mysterious union that creates life. Apart or alone, after a short time, they both have to leave; no bystander can stick around. Yet, that resemblance to inherent intelligence that rejects any incomplete part as a foreign body welcomes the egg that has come to life through the entrance of the sperm. No mother has ever welcomed her newborn child more lovingly, or looked at it[Pg 227] with more tenderness, than the womb receives the fertilized egg. Once the egg is fertilized, every part of its being vibrates with a new purpose. A special place is quickly prepared for the safety, nourishment, and growth of the egg. The entire nature of the mother now focuses on the mission of developing and bringing forth the new life created within. Significant changes will occur not only in the egg but also in the womb as it adapts to the growing life and new needs. Not only will this tiny speck of life, nestled within this human cradle, develop into a fully-formed human being, but the cradle will expand as its occupant grows and adjust to the changing requirements of the developing body inside.

It will require the aid of a microscope to discover and observe the object of our search and study. The egg of the bird bears some proportion to the size of its producer, for in them is stored up the nourishment which is to maintain the unfolding life that can be fed in no other way until it has reached an advanced stage of maturity, and has broken its shell and emerged into the outer world. The human egg is so small that it would require two hundred and forty of them laid side by side to make one inch in length. They contain the nourishment which is to foster this minute beginning of human life for a brief period, after which it is to derive all its nourishment from the mother.[Pg 228] Her food is to furnish the material for its upbuilding. Its blood is to flow from her heart. The egg of the bird is encased in a porous covering through which pure air, with its transforming power, is to find its way to the developing life within; but this human egg and the life which it is designed to unfold must owe all to its mother. Her lungs must impart the oxygen it needs, and her body must minister to every function of the body of the child, until after a period of months, when it shall have reached that stage of development when it is prepared to enter upon its own independent life in the outer world.

It will take a microscope to find and study what we’re looking for. The bird's egg is proportionate to the size of the bird that laid it because it holds the nutrients needed to support the developing life inside, which can't be fed in any other way until it matures and breaks free from the shell. The human egg is so tiny that it would take two hundred and forty of them lined up to equal an inch in length. They provide the nutrition to sustain this tiny start of human life for a short time, after which it will get all its nourishment from the mother.[Pg 228] Her food supplies the building blocks for its growth. Its blood will come from her heart. The bird's egg has a porous shell that allows pure air, with its life-giving properties, to reach the growing life inside; however, the human egg and the life it will create rely entirely on the mother. Her lungs must deliver the oxygen it needs, and her body must support every function of the child's body until several months later, when it is ready to start its own independent life in the outside world.

This minute germ of human life, this egg so small that a thousand could be laid upon a ten-cent piece, this atom, which under the microscope shows a speck of oil and albumin, which in the course of a few brief months is to constitute a complex human organism, with all the perfected parts and wonderful adjustment of a human body, already contains the elements of a new human soul. Embodied in this undeveloped human germ is the future man or woman. Here are all the elements which are to make the successful mechanic, the farmer, the orator, or the statesman. Ingrained in these forming tissues may be scrofula, consumption or insanity. Here, already, are the inheritances which are to determine whether this being shall be temperate or intemperate, chaste or licentious. The moral nature has already received that bent which will incline it to reach out after God and[Pg 229] heaven and holy things, or which will incline it downward to all that is base, destructive, and that tends to death. The history of this immortal being is already measurably outlined in the past life of the father and the mother. What they have been in their thought, in their character, in their being, that their child is largely to become. This outline is now subjected to modifications by the thought and life of the mother during the few months while the body of her child is being unfolded, fashioned and developed beneath and so close to her own heart. During these months, her life is to tell both upon the body and the soul of her child.

This tiny germ of human life, this egg so small that a thousand could fit on a dime, this speck, which under a microscope looks like a drop of oil and some proteins, is about to turn into a complex human being in just a few short months, complete with all the intricate parts and amazing functions of a human body. It already holds the essence of a new soul. Inside this undeveloped germ is the future man or woman. All the traits that could make someone a skilled mechanic, a farmer, an orator, or a statesman are already present. Within these developing tissues could also be the potential for illnesses like scrofula, tuberculosis, or mental disorders. The genetics that will determine whether this individual will be temperate or reckless, pure or immoral, are already set. The moral compass has begun to tilt toward seeking God and spiritual things, or it may lean toward all that is low, destructive, and life-denying. The path of this eternal being is already somewhat defined by the past lives of their parents. What the parents have been in their thoughts, their character, and their existence is largely what their child will become. This pattern will be influenced by the mother's thoughts and life during the months while her child's body is being formed, developed, and nourished right next to her own heart. During this time, her life will impact both the body and soul of her child.

During the brief period while the germ within the fertilized egg is being nourished by the vitellus or yolk of the egg, great changes are taking place in the soft and delicate linings which surround it within the womb. While, of course, the greatest changes which take place during the period of gestation are chiefly within the ovum or egg, yet those which take place in the body of the mother herself are more manifest, and scarcely less marvelous. The mucous membrane within the walls of this enclosure begins to thicken; the small vessels which compose the structure of the inner surface begin to multiply, enlarge, and lengthen, until they are manifest to the unaided eye. This soft, velvety lining becomes thick and rich, but loses none of its softness and delicacy.

During the short time that the germ inside the fertilized egg is being nourished by the yolk, significant changes are happening in the soft and delicate linings that surround it in the womb. While the most dramatic changes occur within the egg itself during gestation, the transformations happening in the mother’s body are more obvious and almost just as amazing. The mucous membrane within the walls of this space starts to thicken; the tiny blood vessels that make up the inner surface begin to multiply, grow, and stretch until they're visible to the naked eye. This soft, velvety lining becomes thick and rich, but still maintains its softness and delicacy.

Every preparation is speedily made, and the fertilized egg finds lodgment in the thin, delicate[Pg 230] folds of the membrane in the upper central portion or dome of the womb. The folds begin to grow about the egg, partially enclosing it, and shutting it off from the general cavity of the womb. At last the borders of this growing envelope meet, and form a complete and distinct enclosure. This thin, transparent tissue, which constitutes a living envelope or sac, shuts off the egg or growing embryo from the rest of the cavity of the womb, which its increasing proportions are soon completely to fill.

Every preparation is quickly made, and the fertilized egg settles into the thin, delicate[Pg 230] folds of the membrane in the upper central area or dome of the womb. The folds start to grow around the egg, partially covering it and separating it from the general cavity of the womb. Eventually, the edges of this growing envelope meet and create a complete and distinct enclosure. This thin, transparent tissue, which acts as a living envelope or sac, separates the egg or developing embryo from the rest of the cavity of the womb, which it will soon completely fill as it grows.

The original membranous lining which covers the entire interior of the womb, and which has now become thickened or tumefied, as medical men say, is technically called the decidua vera, while that portion of the membrane which forms the sac that surrounds and encloses the egg is called the decidua reflex. These are known as "decidua," which means "not permanent"—a word applied to those things in nature which after a period drop away, as leaves, teeth and horns, which are shed or fall off. So the decidua reflex is to pass away with the birth, and the decidua vera is to change back again into its normal condition.

The original membrane lining that covers the whole interior of the womb, which has now thickened or swollen, as doctors say, is technically called the decidua vera. The part of the membrane that forms the sac around the egg is called the decidua reflex. These are referred to as "decidua," which means "not permanent"—a term used for things in nature that eventually fall away, like leaves, teeth, and horns. So, the decidua reflex is meant to go away with birth, and the decidua vera is supposed to revert back to its normal state.

The egg, which during this period has considerably enlarged, begins to throw out upon all sides threadlike tissues, by which this germ of life becomes attached to and grows into the mother-life upon which it is engrafted.

The egg, which has significantly grown during this time, starts to produce threadlike tissues all around, allowing this life germ to attach and develop into the mother-life it is connected to.

It is through these filaments that the fluids which are to nourish and develop this unfold[Pg 231]ing life are imparted from the mother and received by the embryo.

It is through these threads that the fluids meant to nourish and develop this unfolding life are delivered from the mother and received by the embryo.[Pg 231]

As the attachment between the sac which encloses the egg more firmly and securely adheres to the walls of the womb the filaments which had formed upon all sides of the enclosing sac begin to disappear, except upon the side in contact with the womb. Upon that side they become more pronounced, and in the third month the permanent attachment known as the placenta, through which the embryo is to receive its increasing supply of nourishment from the body of the mother, begins to be formed. The placenta is circular in shape, from one to two inches in thickness in its thickest part, and about six or eight inches in diameter. It forms the temporary medium of communication between the life of the mother and that of the child, and, properly speaking, is not a part of either. It is formed for a temporary use, which terminates with the birth of the child; and at that time the placenta, the umbilical or navel cord, and the membrane we have named, constitute what is called the afterbirth.

As the sac that holds the egg attaches more firmly to the walls of the womb, the filaments that formed around the sac start to disappear, except on the side in contact with the womb. On that side, they become more prominent, and by the third month, the permanent attachment known as the placenta begins to form. The placenta is circular, about one to two inches thick at its thickest point and approximately six to eight inches in diameter. It serves as the temporary link between the mother's life and the child's, and it's technically not part of either. It is made for temporary use, which ends with the child's birth; at that time, the placenta, the umbilical or navel cord, and the membrane mentioned earlier make up what is called the afterbirth.

The placenta is a flat, soft disk which is attached to the walls of the womb connecting the embryo by the navel cord, through which it respires or breathes, and receives nourishment, and discharges the worn-out particles of matter. It is through this attachment or cord that an intimate connection is established between the growing life of the ovum and the currents of[Pg 232] life which flow in the mother's body. Through this placentic cord the embryo receives oxygen and all the elements necessary for its growth, upon the one hand, while, upon the other, it also transfers to the body of the mother the carbonic acid gas and other impurities which in the process of life are necessary to be thrown off.

The placenta is a flat, soft disk that attaches to the walls of the womb, connecting the embryo via the umbilical cord. Through this cord, the embryo breathes, gets nourishment, and gets rid of waste. This connection creates a close link between the developing life of the ovum and the life forces flowing in the mother's body. Through this placental cord, the embryo receives oxygen and all the necessary elements for its growth, while also transferring carbon dioxide and other waste products back to the mother that need to be expelled during the process of life.


CHAPTER XV.

THE CHANGES WHICH PRECEDE, ATTEND AND FOLLOW CONCEPTION AND CHILDBIRTH.

Continued.

But while these changes have been taking place within the womb itself, and the decidua or thickened membrane has been forming about this developing germ of life, let us consider some of the changes which have taken place within the ovum itself. If observant when opening a hen's egg, the observer will notice that the yolk is covered by a very thin membrane which encloses and separates it from the other portion of the egg, and holds it in its rounded form. The membrane is exceedingly delicate, but sufficiently thick and strong to serve its intended purpose. Now, the human ovum or egg consists of a vitellus or yolk, which is covered by a similar membrane, known as the vitelline. When this ovum or egg has been fertilized or impregnated, remarkable changes take place. This vitellus or yolk undergoes a series of segmentation or dividings which are known as spontaneous segmentation. The single minute yolk divides itself into two smaller balls or segments. These again subdivide into four; these four subdivide into eight, the eight into sixteen, and so on, resulting in[Pg 234] the rearrangement of the yolk into a finely divided granular mass. While this division is in process, the divided parts arrange themselves orderly about the inner surface of the vitelline or yolk membrane, with the minute microscopic spaces between filled with a transparent fluid. While these cells have been multiplying and become so abundant as to be flattened against the internal surface of the yolk membrane, they have developed into true animal cells. The edges of these cells, where they come in contact with each other, form a continuous organized membrane, which lies just within the yolk membrane. This membrane is called the blastodermic membrane.

But while these changes have been happening inside the womb, and the decidua, or thickened membrane, forms around this developing life, let's take a look at some of the changes occurring within the ovum itself. If you pay attention when cracking open a hen's egg, you'll notice that the yolk is covered by a very thin membrane that encloses and separates it from the other part of the egg, helping it maintain its round shape. This membrane is very delicate but thick and strong enough to serve its purpose. Similarly, the human ovum, or egg, consists of a yolk, which is covered by a membrane known as the vitelline. When this ovum is fertilized, amazing changes happen. The yolk undergoes a series of divisions known as spontaneous segmentation. The tiny yolk splits into two smaller segments. These then divide into four; those four split into eight, the eight into sixteen, and so forth, resulting in[Pg 234] a rearrangement of the yolk into a finely divided granular mass. As this division occurs, the separated pieces arrange themselves orderly along the inner surface of the vitelline membrane, with the tiny microscopic spaces in between filled with a clear fluid. While these cells multiply and become so many that they flatten against the inner surface of the yolk membrane, they develop into true animal cells. The edges of these cells, where they touch each other, form a continuous organized membrane, which lies just inside the yolk membrane. This membrane is called the blastodermic membrane.

This new membrane, formed within the sac which originally enclosed the yolk of the ovum, now divides or separates itself into two distinct layers, known as the outer and inner blastodermic membranes, also called epiblast and hypoblast. The egg at this stage of development presents the appearance of a small round sac, the walls of which consist of three layers, each succeeding layer lying immediately within and in contact with the other which encloses it. The outer one of the three is the primitive yolk sac, the second is the outer layer of the blastodermic membrane, and the third the inner layer, while the interior cavity of the egg is filled by the transparent fluid previously mentioned.

This new membrane, created within the sac that originally held the yolk of the egg, now splits into two distinct layers, called the outer and inner blastodermic membranes, also referred to as the epiblast and hypoblast. At this stage of development, the egg looks like a small round sac, with its walls made up of three layers, each one lying directly within and in contact with the one that surrounds it. The outermost layer is the primitive yolk sac, the second is the outer layer of the blastodermic membrane, and the third is the inner layer, while the inside of the egg is filled with the clear fluid mentioned earlier.

In order to understand the beginnings of life it is important to have a clear conception of[Pg 235] these different sacs, for these two membranes lying within the yolk sac, and together known as the blastodermic membrane, and separately as the outer and inner layers of the blastodermic membrane, contain the anatomical elements from which the organized being with its fully-formed body is to grow. Indeed, it may be said that these two blastodermic membranes are the body of the embryo which is to develop into the fully-formed physical man.

To understand the beginnings of life, it's important to have a clear idea of[Pg 235] these different sacs. The two membranes located within the yolk sac, collectively known as the blastodermic membrane and individually called the outer and inner layers, contain the anatomical elements necessary for the development of a fully-formed body. In fact, it can be said that these two blastodermic membranes make up the body of the embryo that will grow into a fully-formed human being.

The noting of this division into two separate layers is important, for the outer one develops into the skin, spinal cord, muscles and bone, while from the inner layer is formed the intestinal canal and the organs of vegetative life.

The recognition of this division into two distinct layers is essential, as the outer layer evolves into the skin, spinal cord, muscles, and bones, while the inner layer forms the intestinal canal and the organs responsible for basic life functions.

Between these two blastodermic membranes other minute tissues are formed, the office and end of which are not so fully understood, and the consideration of which would lead us into intricacies beyond our present purpose.

Between these two blastodermic membranes, other tiny tissues are formed, the purpose and function of which are not fully understood, and discussing them would take us into complexities that are beyond our current focus.

The first visible sign of the organic structure of the human form is discovered as it takes shape upon the exterior wall of the blastodermic membrane, known as the embryonic spot, and known also as the primitive trace or furrow. It is supposed that from this is formed the spinal canal, with the dorsal plate upon either side, from which springs the framework of the bony structure, and at one end of which is the large rounded cavity which forms the receptacle for the brain and the medulla oblongata, or the upper cranial portion of the spinal cord, which is to control respiration, and at the[Pg 236] other extremity of which, in a later stage, will sprout or grow the legs and feet.

The first visible sign of the organic structure of the human body appears as it develops on the outer layer of the blastoderm membrane, known as the embryonic spot, or also referred to as the primitive trace or furrow. It's believed that this will become the spinal canal, with the dorsal plate on either side, from which the bony framework will form. One end contains the large rounded space that will hold the brain and medulla oblongata, the upper part of the spinal cord that will control breathing, while at the[Pg 236]other end, legs and feet will eventually grow in a later stage.

Without complicating the subject too much for the clear understanding of the ordinary reader by undertaking to explain minute changes which are very interesting to specialists, but likely to detract from its interest and value to the ordinary reader, let it suffice to say that in the course of a brief period the embryo which has grown mainly from the two blastodermic membranes which we have described, and is attached to the walls of the womb by the placenta and cord which carries the blood and life-currents from the body of the mother to the growing body of the child within, is at this period of its development surrounded and enclosed by a number of membranes. The outer one of these is the inner lining of the womb itself, known as the decidua vera. Within this is the decidua reflex, the membrane of the womb, which extended itself and grew around the ovum, completely enclosing it. The third is the chorion, forming the outer membrane which encloses the fetus, and within which is the amnion, or innermost membrane which surrounds the fetus, and between which is another membrane, called the allantois.

Without making things too complicated for the average reader by trying to explain detailed changes that are really fascinating to specialists but could take away from its interest and value, let’s just say that during a short period, the embryo, which has mainly developed from the two blastodermic membranes we described, is attached to the walls of the womb by the placenta and cord that carry blood and life currents from the mother to the growing child inside. At this stage of development, it is surrounded and enclosed by several membranes. The outermost one is the inner lining of the womb itself, called the decidua vera. Inside that is the decidua reflex, the membrane of the womb that expands and grows around the ovum, completely enclosing it. The third membrane is the chorion, which forms the outer layer around the fetus, and within that is the amnion, the innermost membrane surrounding the fetus, along with another membrane called the allantois.

The amnion, which is the innermost of the membranes surrounding the fetus, seemingly has a special office, which is to secrete the fluid technically called the amniotic. This fluid is popularly known as "the waters." This secre[Pg 237]tion performs several important offices. It protects the fetus from any local pressure or blow, and so distributes any pressure as to enable all the parts to grow without danger of distortion and deformity. It also affords the fetus greater freedom of motion, and protects the womb and other parts from injuries which might otherwise be inflicted by the fetus after quickening. Within this fluid the fetus floats during its formative period, and when the time of birth comes the breaking of the sac which contains this fluid enables it to flow out, lubricating the parts, or channel, through which the newly formed being is to pass in its exit into the outer world. The importance of this fluid in this latter office is of great moment. When the sac breaks and the waters flow away too much in advance of the birth of the child, there generally occur the inconveniences that attend what is called a "dry birth."

The amnion, which is the innermost membrane surrounding the fetus, seems to have a specific role: to secrete the fluid known as amniotic fluid. This fluid is commonly referred to as "the waters." This secretion serves several important purposes. It protects the fetus from local pressure or impacts, distributing any pressure so all parts can grow without the risk of distortion or deformity. It also allows the fetus greater freedom of movement and protects the womb and surrounding areas from potential injuries caused by the fetus after it becomes active. The fetus floats in this fluid during its development, and when it's time for birth, breaking the sac that holds this fluid allows it to flow out, lubricating the pathway through which the newly formed baby will exit into the outside world. The importance of this fluid in this situation is significant. When the sac breaks and the waters escape too early before the child is born, it often results in the complications associated with what is known as a "dry birth."

As already mentioned in a previous paragraph, during the first weeks of growth the embryo is nourished the same as the young chick within the egg, by the yolk, in which its earliest nourishment has been stored.

As mentioned earlier, during the first weeks of growth, the embryo is nourished just like a young chick inside the egg, by the yolk, where its initial nourishment is stored.

Soon the delicate union is formed between the chorion by the gathering and multiplication of the villi or minute hair-like membranes, which gather into a compact mass and adhere to the adjacent portion of the womb. This formation is known as the placenta, previously described, which is constituted of two portions—the maternal side,[Pg 238] which is toward the walls of the womb, and the fetal side, which is toward the growing fetus. Upon the inner side, the placenta is united with the fetus by two arteries which are wrapped around the one vein, which together unite with the body of the placenta. Through these the life-currents flow; and, while the circulation between the bodies of mother and child are not direct or uninterrupted, for the fetus has its own measurably independent circulation, yet from the time the connection is formed until the cord is severed at birth the fetus derives all its nourishment from the mother.

Soon, a delicate union forms between the chorion through the gathering and multiplication of the villi, which are tiny hair-like membranes. These gather into a compact mass and stick to the nearby area of the womb. This formation is known as the placenta, previously described, and consists of two parts— the maternal side, which faces the walls of the womb, and the fetal side, which faces the growing fetus. On the inner side, the placenta is connected to the fetus by two arteries that wrap around one vein, all of which join with the placenta itself. Through these, vital life currents flow; although the circulation between the mother and child is not direct or uninterrupted, as the fetus has a relatively independent circulation, from the moment the connection is formed until the cord is cut at birth, the fetus receives all its nourishment from the mother.

Let us turn now to note the rapid changes which take place within the germ or egg from the time of its impregnation to the hour of the birth of the child. The changes, although seemingly very minute at first, are nevertheless very rapid from the beginning to the period of maturity and birth. The following account, taken from "Plain Talks on Avoided Subjects," by Henry N. Guernsey, M.D., constitutes a goodly portion of the introductory chapter of that excellent little book, and presents the matter in the intelligible and impressive manner we desire for this place, and is quoted in full by permission:

Let’s now look at the quick changes that happen within the sperm or egg from the moment of fertilization to the time the baby is born. These changes may seem very small at first, but they happen rapidly from the start until maturity and birth. The following description, taken from "Plain Talks on Avoided Subjects" by Henry N. Guernsey, M.D., makes up a significant part of the introductory chapter of that great little book and presents the information in a clear and impactful way that we want for this context, and is quoted in full with permission:

"The first indication of formation that is possible to discover, even by the help of the microscope, consists of an oblong figure, obtuse at one extremity, swollen in the middle, blunt-pointed at the other extremity. The rudimen[Pg 239]tary embryo is slightly curved forward, is of a grayish-white color, of a gelatinous consistence, from two to four lines long, and weighs one or two grains. A slight depression, representing the neck, enables us to distinguish the head; the body is marked by a swollen centre, but there are as yet no traces of the extremities. So much can be observed about the end of the third week after conception.

"The first sign of formation that can be seen, even with a microscope, is an elongated shape, rounded at one end, thicker in the middle, and pointed at the other end. The basic embryo is slightly bent forward, has a grayish-white color, is gelatinous in texture, measures two to four lines long, and weighs one or two grains. A slight indentation, which indicates the neck, helps us identify the head; the body has a bulging center, but there are no visible signs of the limbs yet. This is what can be observed by the end of the third week after conception."

"At about the fifth week the embryo presents more distinctions. The head is very large in proportion to the rest of the body, the eyes are represented by two black spots, and the upper extremities by small protuberances on the sides of the trunk. The embryo at this stage is nearly two-thirds of an inch in length and weighs about fifteen grains. The lower extremities now begin to appear in the shape of two minute rounded tubercles. Till about this time a straight artery has been observed to beat with the regularity of the pulse; but now it appears doubled somewhat into the shape of an adult heart, although as yet it has but one auricle and one ventricle. As time advances we find the perfect heart, with its two ventricles and two auricles, all developed from the original straight artery. At this period the lungs appear to exist in five or six different lobes, and we can barely distinguish the bronchial tubes; about the same time the ears and face are distinctly outlined, and after awhile the nose is also faintly and imperfectly perceived.

"By about the fifth week, the embryo shows more distinct features. The head is quite large compared to the rest of the body, the eyes are just two black spots, and the upper limbs are represented by small bumps on the sides of the torso. At this stage, the embryo is nearly two-thirds of an inch long and weighs around fifteen grains. The lower limbs start to appear as two tiny rounded bumps. Up until this point, a straight artery has been seen beating regularly like a pulse; but now it seems to curve somewhat, resembling an adult heart, even though it only has one atrium and one ventricle. As time goes on, we see the fully formed heart, with two ventricles and two atriums, all developed from that original straight artery. At this time, the lungs appear to have five or six different lobes, and we can barely make out the bronchial tubes; around the same time, the ears and face are clearly defined, and eventually, the nose is also faintly and imperfectly seen."

"At about the seventh week, little bony de[Pg 240]posit is found in the lower jaw. The kidneys now begin to be formed, and a little later the genital organs. The embryo averages one inch in length.

"At around the seventh week, a small bony de[Pg 240]posit is detected in the lower jaw. The kidneys start to develop, and shortly after, the genital organs begin to form. The embryo is about one inch long."

"At two months the rudiments of the extremities become more prominent. The forearm and hand can be distinguished, but not the arm above the elbow; the hand is larger than the forearm, but is not supplied with fingers. The sex cannot yet be determined. The length of the embryo is from one inch and a half to two inches, and it weighs from three to five drachms. The eyes are discernible, but still uncovered by the rudimentary lids. The nose forms an obtuse eminence, the nostrils are rounded and separated, the mouth is gaping, and the epidermis can be distinguished from the true skin.

"At two months, the basics of the arms and legs become more noticeable. You can see the forearm and hand, but not the part of the arm above the elbow; the hand is bigger than the forearm, but it doesn't have fingers yet. You can't determine the sex at this stage. The embryo is about one and a half to two inches long and weighs between three to five drachms. The eyes can be seen, but are still without the basic eyelids. The nose is a rounded bump, the nostrils are rounded and apart, the mouth is open, and you can tell the outer skin from the underlying skin."

"At ten weeks the embryo is from one and a half to two and a half inches long, and its weight is from one ounce to an ounce and a half; the eyelids are more developed, and descend in front of the eyes; the mouth begins to be closed by the development of the lips. The walls of the chest are more completely formed, so that it is no longer possible to see the movements of the heart. The fingers become distinct, and the toes appear as small projections webbed together like a frog's foot. At about this period the sexual organs show their development, as follows: On each side of the urinary locality an oblong fold becomes distinguishable; in course of progress, if these folds remain separate, a little tubercle forms in the anterior commis[Pg 241]sure which becomes the clitoris; the nymphæ develop, the urethra forms between them, and the female sex is determined. If, on the other hand, these folds unite into a rounded projection, the scrotum is formed, the little tubercle above becomes the penis, and hence the male sex. The testicles forming within the body descend later into the scrotum, and organs similar to them, their counterparts, form in the females and are called ovaries. These ovaries are found attached to an organ called the womb, and this, again, is united with the vagina, which leads downwards and outwards between the labia majora (or larger lips).

"At ten weeks, the embryo measures between one and a half to two and a half inches long and weighs between one ounce and an ounce and a half. The eyelids are more developed and cover the eyes; the mouth starts to close as the lips form. The chest walls are more fully formed, so it's no longer possible to see the heart's movements. The fingers become distinct, and the toes appear as small webbed projections, similar to a frog's foot. Around this time, the sexual organs begin to develop: on each side of the urinary area, an oblong fold becomes noticeable. If these folds stay separate, a small tubercle forms at the front, which becomes the clitoris; the labia develop, the urethra forms between them, and the female sex is established. If, however, these folds merge into a rounded projection, the scrotum forms, the tubercle above becomes the penis, indicating the male sex. The testicles, which develop inside the body, later descend into the scrotum, while similar organs form in females and are called ovaries. These ovaries are attached to an organ called the womb, which connects to the vagina that leads downwards and outwards between the labia majora (or larger lips).

"At the end of the third month the weight of the embryo is from three to four ounces and its length from four to five inches; the eyeballs are seen through the lids, the pupils of the eyes are discernible, the forehead, nose and lips can be clearly distinguished. The finger-nails resemble thin membranous plates, the skin shows more firmness, but is still rosy-hued, thin and transparent. The sex can now be fully determined.

"At the end of the third month, the embryo weighs between three and four ounces and measures four to five inches long; you can see the eyeballs through the eyelids, the pupils are noticeable, and the forehead, nose, and lips are clearly defined. The fingernails look like thin, membranous plates, and the skin is firmer but still rosy, thin, and transparent. The sex can now be definitively determined."

"At the end of the fourth month the product of conception is no longer called an embryo, but a fetus. The body is from six to eight inches in length, and weighs six or seven ounces. A few little white hairs are seen scattered over the scalp. The development of the face is still imperfect. The eyes are now closed by their lids, the nostrils are well-formed, the mouth is shut in by the lips, and the sex is still more[Pg 242] sharply defined. The tongue may be observed far back in the mouth, and the lower part of the face is rounded off by what a little later will be a well-formed chin. The movements of the fetus are by this time plainly felt by the mother, and if born at this time it may live several months.

"At the end of the fourth month, the developing organism is no longer referred to as an embryo, but as a fetus. Its body measures between six to eight inches in length and weighs around six or seven ounces. A few tiny white hairs appear scattered across the scalp. The face is still developing. The eyes are now closed with their lids, the nostrils are well-formed, the mouth is sealed by the lips, and the sex is becoming more[Pg 242] distinctly defined. The tongue can be seen positioned toward the back of the mouth, and the lower part of the face is starting to take shape, eventually forming a well-defined chin. By this stage, the movements of the fetus can be clearly felt by the mother, and if born now, it could survive for several months."

"At the end of the fifth month the body of the fetus is from seven to nine inches long, and weighs from eight to eleven ounces. The skin has a fairer appearance and more consistence; the eyes can no longer be distinguished through the lids, owing to the increased thickness of the latter. The head, heart and kidneys are large and well-developed.

"At the end of the fifth month, the fetus is about seven to nine inches long and weighs between eight and eleven ounces. The skin looks smoother and more durable; the eyes can't be seen through the eyelids anymore due to their increased thickness. The head, heart, and kidneys are large and well-formed."

"At the end of the sixth month the fetus is from eleven to twelve and a half inches in length, and weighs about sixteen ounces, more or less. The hair upon the scalp is thicker and longer, the eyes remain closed, and very delicate hairs may be seen upon the margins of the eyelids and upon the eyebrows. The nails are solid, the scrotum small and empty, the surface of the skin appears wrinkled, but the dermis may be distinguished from the epidermis. The liver is large and red, and the gall-bladder contains fluid.

"At the end of the sixth month, the fetus measures between eleven and twelve and a half inches long and weighs about sixteen ounces, give or take. The hair on the scalp is thicker and longer, the eyes are still closed, and fine hairs can be seen along the edges of the eyelids and on the eyebrows. The nails are solid, the scrotum is small and empty, and the skin looks wrinkled, though you can still tell the dermis apart from the epidermis. The liver is large and red, and the gallbladder contains fluid."

"At the end of the seventh month the length of the fetus is from twelve and a half to fourteen inches; its weight is about fifty-five ounces, and it is both well-defined and well-proportioned in all its parts. The bones of the cranium, hitherto quite flat, now appear a little arched, and,[Pg 243] as the process of ossification goes on, the arching increases until the vault is quite complete. The brain presents greater firmness, and the eyelids are opened. The skin is much firmer, and red. The gall-bladder contains bile.

"At the end of the seventh month, the fetus measures between twelve and a half to fourteen inches in length and weighs about fifty-five ounces. It is well-defined and proportionate in all its parts. The bones of the skull, which were previously flat, now start to curve slightly. As the process of ossification continues, the curvature increases until the skull is fully formed. The brain becomes firmer, and the eyelids are now open. The skin is much firmer and has a reddish hue. The gallbladder contains bile."

"At the end of the eighth month the fetus seems to thicken up rather than to increase in length, since it is only from sixteen to eighteen inches long, while its weight increases from four to five pounds. The skin is red, and characterized at this period by a fine downy covering, over which is spread a quantity of thick viscous matter, called the sebaceous coat, which has been forming since the latter part of the fifth month. The lower jaw has now become as long as the upper one, and in the male the left testicle may be found in the scrotum. Convolutions appear in the brain structure.

"By the end of the eighth month, the fetus seems to gain thickness instead of length, measuring only between sixteen and eighteen inches long, while its weight increases from four to five pounds. The skin is red and has a fine layer of soft hair, covered by a thick, sticky substance known as the sebaceous coat, which has been developing since the later part of the fifth month. The lower jaw is now as long as the upper jaw, and in males, the left testicle may be present in the scrotum. The brain begins to show convolutions."

"At nine months the anxious time of parturition (or birth) has arrived. The fetus is from nineteen to twenty-three inches in length, and weighs on an average from six to eight pounds. Children at birth sometimes weigh as much as fourteen pounds; but such extremes are very rare. At this period the white and gray matter of the brain are distinct, and the convolutions are well marked; the nails assume a horny consistence, hair upon the head is more or less abundant, the testes are in the scrotum, and the entire external genital organs of both male and female are well formed.

At nine months, the anxious time of giving birth has arrived. The fetus is between nineteen and twenty-three inches long and usually weighs six to eight pounds. Some newborns can weigh as much as fourteen pounds, but that’s quite rare. At this stage, the white and gray matter of the brain are distinct, and the brain's folds are clearly defined; the nails are hardening, hair on the head is more or less abundant, the testes are in the scrotum, and the external genital organs of both males and females are well developed.

"How wonderfully and how instructively are all organs in the animal body disposed and[Pg 244] arranged! In the highest place we find the brain to govern and rule over all below. It is the first organ formed, and in an orderly life should control all the others. Next in order and importance are the heart and lungs, which put into motion all other parts and enable the animal frame to continue in motion. So each and every organ is developed in its proper order, all to obey the commands of the first and most important—the brain, the seat of the reason and the will. Happy are they of either sex who will govern themselves by a pure, enlightened reason and a pure, affectionate will."

"How amazing and how educational are all the organs in the animal body organized and[Pg 244] arranged! At the top, we find the brain, which governs and controls everything below it. It is the first organ to develop and should ideally oversee all the others in a well-ordered life. Following in importance are the heart and lungs, which power all other parts and keep the body moving. Every organ develops in its proper sequence, all in response to the commands of the first and most important—the brain, the center of reason and will. Those of either gender who can guide themselves by a pure and enlightened reason, along with a pure and loving will, are truly fortunate."

While we may note the various stages of change and progress, yet to the thoughtful student there lies back of all these outer manifestations a hidden life, a divine unfolding of the human body which is mysterious and awe-inspiring. While we know something of what takes place, yet the declaration of the Book of Ecclesiastes is impressively true: "Thou knowest not what is the way of the Spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child." All who study it thoughtfully and reverently can exclaim with David: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from Thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being imperfect; and in Thy book all my members were written,[Pg 245] which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them."

While we can observe the different stages of change and progress, for the thoughtful student, there exists behind all these outward signs a hidden life, a divine development of the human body that is both mysterious and awe-inspiring. Though we understand some aspects of what happens, the statement from the Book of Ecclesiastes holds true: "You do not know the way of the Spirit, nor how the bones grow in the womb of a pregnant woman." Anyone who studies this with thoughtfulness and reverence can echo David's words: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works; and my soul knows it very well. My substance was not hidden from You when I was made in secret and intricately woven in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, yet being unformed; and in Your book, all my members were written,[Pg 245] which were fashioned as they continued, when there were none of them."

Let us turn now to the mother who has nourished and who is about to bring into the world the body of an immortal being. Some of the changes most easily noted in the body of the mother occur as she reaches the period when approaching maturity has prepared the body of the child for an early entrance into the outer world. Marvelous as are the less noticeable changes which have earlier taken place, the time has now come when others which are more marked are soon to manifest themselves. Several days prior to the event there is a dropping or subsidence of the womb. This is preparatory to the distention and enlargement of the vagina through which the exit is to be made. The stomach and lungs are relieved of pressure, the mother feels more easy, is more inclined to move about, breathes more freely, and the sense of oppression which formerly caused her to desire inaction passes away, and Providence thus fits her to make such necessary preparations as are important in view of the event which is soon to take place. As the days approach, the external parts give indication of the distention and enlargement which has taken place in the vagina and the preparations which nature is making for the more easy exit of the life which has developed within.

Let’s now focus on the mother who has nurtured and is about to bring into the world the body of an immortal being. Some of the most noticeable changes in the mother’s body occur as she reaches the stage when her growing maturity has prepared the child’s body for an early arrival into the world. While the earlier changes are incredible, it’s now time for more significant changes to reveal themselves. A few days before the event, there is a dropping of the womb. This prepares for the stretching and enlargement of the vagina through which the baby will exit. The pressure on the stomach and lungs is relieved; the mother feels more comfortable, is more active, breathes easier, and the sense of heaviness that previously made her feel inactive fades away. This allows her to make the necessary preparations for the upcoming event. As the days draw closer, the external parts show signs of stretching and enlargement in the vagina, indicating the preparations nature is making for the easier exit of the life that has developed within.

The entire physical nature of the mother is in a state of preparation for the great event. A large quantity of blood is being sent to the[Pg 246] breasts, the lacteals are developing, and the preparation is being completed for the secretion of milk, so that there may be no lack when the little stranger arrives.

The mother's body is fully preparing for the big event. A lot of blood is being directed to the[Pg 246] breasts, the milk ducts are developing, and everything is ready for milk production, ensuring there will be plenty when the new baby arrives.

One of the earliest indications that the event is about to take place is the discharge of the small plug of mucus which has served to hermetically seal the neck of the womb against the entrance of any foreign substance; but its office or work is now completed. The cervix, or neck of the womb, enlarges, and this little plug, popularly known as "the show," passes away with some streaks of blood. While the neck of the womb, the vaginal passage and the external parts have greatly enlarged, the womb itself is beginning to contract preparatory to the expulsion of that which it has fostered and nourished for a period of about nine months.

One of the first signs that the event is about to happen is the release of a small plug of mucus that has sealed the neck of the womb to keep out any foreign substances; but its job is now done. The cervix, or neck of the womb, opens up, and this small plug, commonly referred to as "the show," comes out, sometimes with a few streaks of blood. While the neck of the womb, the vaginal passage, and the external parts have all expanded significantly, the womb itself is starting to contract in preparation for the expulsion of what it has nurtured and supported for about nine months.

The earliest premonition that these contractions are taking place is found in the grinding pains, which come at irregular intervals, sometimes a couple of hours apart, or only separated by a half hour, or even a shorter period. These contractions of the abdominal muscles are soon followed by the true labor-pains, which come at more regular intervals. These grinding pains are felt in the back and loins. The contractions rise to a certain pitch of intensity, and then as gradually abate. Usually, as the regular labor-pains begin, the fluid contained in the amniotic sac, and within which the child has floated during its period of growth, is now liberated by the breaking of the sac, flows through[Pg 247] the vaginal passage, lubricating the parts and preparing all for an easy exit of the body of the infant into the outer world. When the presentation is normal the head comes first, and usually in a period varying from a few minutes to a few hours the child is born. In exceptional cases the labor may be extended over a day or more, but such cases are relatively rare.

The earliest sign that contractions are happening is the grinding pain, which occurs at irregular intervals—sometimes a couple of hours apart, or only half an hour, or even less. These contractions of the abdominal muscles are soon followed by actual labor pains, which come at more regular intervals. These grinding pains are felt in the back and lower back. The contractions increase in intensity and then gradually lessen. Usually, as the regular labor pains start, the fluid in the amniotic sac, where the baby has been growing, is released when the sac breaks and flows through[Pg 247] the vaginal passage, lubricating the area and preparing everything for the baby's exit into the outside world. When the baby is positioned normally, the head comes out first, and typically within a few minutes to a few hours, the baby is born. In rare cases, labor can last a day or more, but those cases are uncommon.

The apprehensions of dangers which associate themselves in the minds of many with childbirth are not often realized. If the parts are not diseased, and the mother is in good health, and the laws of the unfolding life have been carefully observed, there is little peril, although, generally, considerable pain. There are many physicians who have attended hundreds of women in confinement who have never lost but an exceptional case or two. The extreme pain endured by many women is largely due to the lack of that knowledge which would have enabled the mother to approach this period with but little apprehension, and to have passed through the period of parturition or childbirth with but slight inconvenience and pain.

The fears surrounding childbirth that many people have are not usually justified. If the body is healthy and the mother is in good shape, and if the natural process of labor is properly respected, there’s minimal risk, although there is often significant pain. Many doctors who have assisted hundreds of women during labor have rarely encountered more than a few exceptional cases of complications. Much of the extreme pain experienced by many women stems from a lack of knowledge that could help them face this time with less anxiety and go through childbirth with minimal discomfort and pain.

While the perils may be greatly reduced and the pains greatly diminished, it is nevertheless a period of wonderful revolution throughout the entire physical nature of the mother. The blood which flowed from her heart to nourish and foster the growing body of her child is now turned in other directions, and the fountains at[Pg 248] which the child is to receive its food and its strength begin to flow with their richness of life-giving currents.

While the dangers may be significantly lowered and the discomforts greatly eased, this is still a time of amazing transformation in the entire physical being of the mother. The blood that once flowed from her heart to nourish and support the developing body of her child is now redirected, and the sources from which the child will receive nourishment and strength begin to flow with life-giving vitality.

After the placenta and the sacs which enclosed the fetus, which together constitute what is known as "the afterbirth," have passed away, the recuperating and renewing powers with which God has so wonderfully endowed the body of the mother beyond that of the father become active. The muscular tissues of the womb, vagina and the external parts at once begin to contract, and the entire nature of the mother begins to adjust itself to the new relations of her child to her own body and the necessities of nourishing and guarding it upon the external portion of her body, rather than within that mysterious chamber which God prepared for its beginning and the earliest unfoldings of its infant life.

After the placenta and the sacs that surrounded the fetus, which together are known as "the afterbirth," have been expelled, the amazing healing and renewing abilities that God has given to the mother’s body—greater than those of the father—start to take effect. The muscles of the womb, vagina, and external areas begin to contract, and the mother’s entire being starts to adapt to the new relationship with her child, transitioning from nurturing it within her body to caring for and protecting it on the outside, rather than in that mysterious space that God created for its inception and the early stages of its life.

When the child is born into the world its body also undergoes a wonderful revolution. Then, for the first time, its heart takes up its own independent action; air for the first time enters the cells of the lungs, and with the early shock, if it might so be called, of taking its first breath, the child usually utters its first cries. During the period of its fetal life the lungs have received only so much blood as was necessary for their own growth and development, but with the first breath they expand and receive the inflowing of the blood from the right side of the heart. This involves the opening of some passages and the closing of others. These are[Pg 249] but the first of a series of transformations which are early to take place. The various veins, arteries and ducts which have hitherto received the supplies of blood from the placenta and returned the worn and wasted material to that same centre, or distribute the supplies for special service throughout different portions of the body, by the cutting of the umbilical or navel cord, and the separation of the child from the placenta and body of the mother, now assume a new relation to the independent body of the newborn child. Some of these ducts and arteries soon entirely close, and in some instances degenerate into impervious cords with new and important offices; some are transformed into true ligaments, while others remain pervious. Now that the primitive purposes of some of these parts have been fulfilled, the parts themselves disappear, while still other parts take upon themselves new offices and duties which are imposed by the changes incident to birth—the separation from the body of the mother and the entrance upon its own independent life in the outer world.

When a child is born, its body goes through an incredible transformation. For the first time, its heart starts beating on its own; air fills the lungs for the first time, and with the initial shock of taking its first breath, the child typically cries out. During fetal life, the lungs only got enough blood for their own growth and development, but with that first breath, they expand and receive blood from the right side of the heart. This process involves opening some pathways and closing others. These are[Pg 249] just the beginning of a series of changes that happen early on. The various veins, arteries, and ducts that previously received blood from the placenta and returned waste back to it, or distributed blood for specific functions throughout the body, now have a new role after the umbilical cord is cut and the child separates from the placenta and the mother’s body. Some of these ducts and arteries soon close completely, and in some cases, turn into cords with new important functions; some become true ligaments, while others stay open. Now that the original functions of some of these parts are complete, they disappear, while other parts take on new roles and responsibilities required by the changes that come with birth—the separation from the mother and the start of its own independent life in the outside world.

Truly, "we are fearfully and wonderfully made." The infinite Author of all things has left the stamp of His wisdom upon everything that He has created. Whether we take the microscope and study the earliest beginnings and mysterious unfoldings of this spark of human life; whether we study the blade of grass beneath our feet, or the stars that shine over our heads; everywhere we find the wonderful wis[Pg 250]dom of our Creator. "Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night showeth knowledge." It matters not whether we listen to the lessons of a flower, the history of an atom, or the song of the spheres, "there is no speech nor language where their voice is not heard; their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world."

Truly, "we are fearfully and wonderfully made." The infinite Creator of everything has left His wisdom marked on all that He has made. Whether we use a microscope to examine the earliest beginnings and mysterious developments of human life, study the blade of grass beneath our feet, or gaze at the stars shining above us, we find the amazing wisdom of our Creator everywhere. "Day after day pours forth speech, and night after night reveals knowledge." It doesn't matter if we listen to a flower's lessons, the story of an atom, or the music of the spheres; "there is no speech or language where their voice is not heard; their line has gone out across all the earth, and their words to the end of the world."


CHAPTER XVI.

WHEN THE BABY IS BORN.

At the end of about 280 days after the conception, or what under ordinary conditions would have been the tenth menstrual period, the days are completed and the expectant mother is usually delivered of her child. The day when the indications are that the child is to be born is always one of great anxiety, but need not be one of apprehension or fear. Where the laws of health have been observed there is no cause for apprehension. With the birth of the first child the labor is oftentimes somewhat more prolonged and attended with more pain, but the after-pains are usually not considerable. Generally the pains which precede the birth diminish with each succeeding confinement, but the after-pains increase in a similar manner.

At around 280 days after conception, or what would typically be the tenth menstrual period, the time is up and the expecting mother usually gives birth to her child. The day when signs indicate that the baby is about to arrive is always a time of great anxiety, but it doesn't have to be one of worry or fear. If health guidelines have been followed, there’s no reason for concern. With the birth of the first child, labor can often take longer and come with more pain, but the after-pains are usually minimal. Generally, the pains before birth lessen with each subsequent delivery, while after-pains tend to increase in a similar way.

Where the mother has made intelligent preparation for this great event, the child may be, and generally is, born without the actual assistance of the doctor. An intelligent nurse would be in position to render every needed assistance, but the presence of a well-equipped physician always brings such added ease to the mind of the mother, by removing all unnecessary risks, that it is always desirable that the physician should have been apprised in ad[Pg 252]vance, notified promptly, and be on hand as soon as possible after the labor-pains commence. This is especially important when it is the first child.

Where the mother has made thoughtful preparations for this significant event, the child can be, and often is, born without the direct help of a doctor. A skilled nurse would be able to provide all necessary support, but having a well-prepared physician on hand adds peace of mind for the mother by eliminating unnecessary risks, so it's always best for the physician to have been informed in advance, notified promptly, and to arrive as soon as possible after labor begins. This is particularly important for first-time mothers.

If the labor should be short and the birth take place before the arrival of the physician, the nurse or attendant should be careful to see that the cord is not wound about the neck of the child, but placed free, and the child with its head in position so that it can breathe naturally, and with its body warmly covered.

If the labor is quick and the baby is born before the doctor arrives, the nurse or attendant should make sure that the cord isn’t wrapped around the baby’s neck but is free instead, and that the baby is positioned so it can breathe easily, with its body kept warm and covered.

When the pulsing in the cord has ceased and the child has cried vigorously, any nurse who has been present at previous confinements, who is intelligent and capable, would be able to sever the cord after having made the necessary bindings upon it. Indeed, some authorities contend that when the pulsing has ceased the cord may be severed without any tying of the ends at all.

When the pulsing in the cord stops and the baby has cried strongly, any nurse who has been at earlier births, who is smart and skilled, would be able to cut the cord after making the necessary ties on it. In fact, some experts argue that when the pulsing has stopped, the cord can be cut without tying the ends at all.

Dr. Alice B. Stockham, in "Tokology," makes the following sensible suggestions: "Usually, as the child is ushered into the world, it sets up a lusty cry, indicating that respiration is established. Crying is not essential, as some authors claim, and the prompt covering usually causes it to desist. If it does not breathe at once, a little brisk patting on the breast and thigh may establish respiration. If this is not effectual, dash cold water in the face and on the chest. Still failing, artificial respiration must be established. To do this, close the nostrils with two fingers, blow into the mouth, and then[Pg 253] expel the air from the lungs by a gentle pressure upon the chest. Continue this as long as any hope of life remains.

Dr. Alice B. Stockham, in "Tokology," makes the following sensible suggestions: "Usually, when a baby is born, it lets out a loud cry, signaling that it's breathing. Crying isn't necessary, as some writers suggest, and quickly covering the baby often stops the crying. If the baby doesn’t breathe right away, a few gentle pats on the chest and thigh may help start respiration. If that doesn’t work, splash cold water on its face and chest. If it still doesn’t breathe, you need to perform artificial respiration. To do this, pinch the nostrils shut with two fingers, blow into the mouth, and then [Pg 253] gently press on the chest to push the air out of the lungs. Keep this up as long as there’s any chance of saving the baby."

"Sever the cord when pulsation has entirely ceased. Use a dull pair of scissors, cutting about two inches from the child's navel. Following these directions, no tying is essential."

"Cut the cord once the pulsing has completely stopped. Use a dull pair of scissors, cutting about two inches from the baby's belly button. If you follow these instructions, there's no need to tie it."

Tying is done in order to prevent excessive bleeding; but whether to tie the ends of the severed placentic cord, or not, is a matter which should be left wholly to the attendant doctor. It is well for the young husband to be intelligent and well-read along these and kindred lines, but if he employs a physician he should accept the physician's judgment and have his instructions followed. If he is not satisfied with the doctor whom he has employed, but sees fit to change for one whose opinions harmonize more closely with his own, that is a matter for the husband's own judgment, but the physician who is employed should always be supreme and left without interference or dictation. The doctor in charge must have absolute control in a lying-in room. He should direct, and not be dictated to.

Tying is done to prevent excessive bleeding, but whether to tie the ends of the severed placental cord is entirely up to the attending doctor. It's good for the young husband to be knowledgeable and well-read about these topics, but if he hires a physician, he should accept their judgment and follow their instructions. If he's not satisfied with the doctor he's chosen and wants to switch to one whose opinions align more closely with his own, that's a decision for him to make. However, the doctor he has hired should always have complete authority without interference or orders. The doctor in charge must have full control in the delivery room. They should lead and not be dictated to.

If the husband is intelligent, enters into the sympathies of his wife, and has her confidence, if the physician consents, as he doubtless will, it seems quite natural that he should desire to be present with his wife in this trying experience of her life. If he understands the nature of the experience through which she is called upon to pass, his sympathy will be helpful to[Pg 254] his wife, and if nature has endowed him with any of the qualifications of a good nurse, he can be of assistance to the doctor. Where the husband is without intelligence, is nervous, and exerts a depressing influence upon his wife, his absence may be more helpful than his presence. If the husband is intelligent and sympathetic, it seems to us that he could not but desire to be with his wife; but where he is wholly disqualified, his physician should not hesitate to express his judgment and preference in this matter.

If the husband is smart, connects with his wife's feelings, and has her trust, and if the doctor agrees, which he probably will, it makes sense that he would want to be there for his wife during this difficult time in her life. If he understands what she’s going through, his support will be valuable to her, and if he has any skills of a good nurse, he can help the doctor. However, if the husband is not very bright, is anxious, and brings down his wife's spirits, his being there might actually be more of a hindrance than a help. If the husband is both intelligent and caring, it seems to us that he would want to be by his wife’s side; but if he is completely unfit for this role, the doctor should feel free to share his opinion and preference on the matter.

The presence of a physician is always to be preferred, in order to determine the presentation, sever the cord, and look carefully after the afterbirth. The normal presentation is of the head foremost.

The presence of a doctor is always preferred to assess the situation, cut the cord, and closely monitor the placenta. The usual position is with the head coming out first.

Where the inexperienced young husband is in an extremity, and finds himself alone at the hour of delivery, he should expect, as is most likely, that everything will move along normally, and he needs to be especially guarded only upon three points. When the head is born, see that the navel cord is not twisted around the child's neck. If this should be the case, it can easily be slightly loosened and then slipped over the child's head; otherwise the pressure of this tightened ligature would prevent its breathing and would result in strangulation. In an extreme case the cord could easily be tied in two places, a couple of inches apart, and cut between them. This should be done by an experienced person only, and as a last resort. After the child is born, the next and last import[Pg 255]ant thing is the coming away of the placenta, or afterbirth. This often occurs at the end of twenty minutes or a half hour, or may be longer delayed. In the meantime the mother should be warmly covered, and any drink given her should not be either extremely hot or extremely cold. The afterbirth should be kept in a vessel prepared for it until the doctor has inspected it, so that he may know whether all the parts have come away or not. If any part remains, it might cause serious trouble.

Where the inexperienced young husband finds himself alone during the delivery, he should expect, as is most likely, that everything will go smoothly, and he needs to be particularly cautious about three things. When the head is delivered, check that the umbilical cord isn't wrapped around the child's neck. If it is, it can usually be gently loosened and slid over the child's head; otherwise, the pressure from the tight cord could prevent breathing and cause strangulation. In an extreme case, the cord can be tied in two places a couple of inches apart and cut in between. This should only be done by an experienced person and as a last resort. After the child is born, the next important thing is the delivery of the placenta, or afterbirth. This usually happens within twenty minutes to half an hour but can sometimes take longer. In the meantime, the mother should be kept warm, and any drink given to her should not be too hot or too cold. The afterbirth should be kept in a designated container until the doctor has examined it to ensure that all parts have been delivered. If any part is left inside, it could lead to serious complications.

These things successfully accomplished, the bathing of the child and care of the mother are next in order. How soon these should be undertaken would have to be determined by conditions. With the mother, a period of rest is sometimes very desirable. When bathing her body, or changing her bed, the greatest care should be exercised to protect her from the danger of contracting cold. During these hours her physical nature undergoes a great revolution, and exposure at this time might entail permanent results of a serious character. Fevers, bealed breasts, the aches, pains and perils which so often accompany and follow confinement, are almost wholly due to lack of proper care at this period.

Once these tasks are successfully completed, the next steps are to bathe the baby and tend to the mother. When to do this depends on the circumstances. For the mother, a period of rest is often very important. When washing her body or changing her bedding, it's crucial to take great care to keep her warm and safe from catching a cold. During this time, her body is going through significant changes, and exposure could lead to serious long-term effects. Fevers, sore breasts, and the aches and pains that frequently come with and follow childbirth are largely caused by inadequate care during this period.

If the young husband is intelligent and desires the comfort and well-being of his wife he will see that for a sufficient period she is protected against callers, and even the visits of friends. She is weak and needs absolute rest. She needs at least several days or more before[Pg 256] she should be visited. If callers are allowed in her room, they are liable to remain too long. If you lack the nerve to decline callers the privilege they may expect, then ask your physician to order that no one see her at present.

If the young husband is smart and wants his wife to be comfortable and well taken care of, he will make sure she is shielded from visitors, including friends, for a good amount of time. She is vulnerable and needs complete rest. She should have at least several days, or even more, before[Pg 256] having any guests. If people are allowed in her room, they might stay longer than they should. If you don't feel confident telling visitors not to come by, ask your doctor to say that no one should see her right now.

The comfort, safety and well-being of the wife renders the selection of a good nurse a matter of as great importance as the choice of a good physician. In this matter the doctor is oftentimes the best counselor. He is constantly coming in contact with those who are in charge, where he is in attendance, and his suggestions ought to be most valuable. It is of the utmost importance that she should be a woman of pure blood; and for this a good moral character is the best guarantee. It is not wise to suppose that, since she is to remain but for a few weeks, the question of character is of no moment, for, without any outward evidences to arouse suspicion, she might bring with her, and by kissing and in other ways communicate to the child the results of venereal and other diseases which might entail, from this unsuspected source, consequences from which years could not bring subsequent relief.

The comfort, safety, and well-being of the wife make choosing a good nurse just as important as selecting a good doctor. In this situation, the doctor is often the best advisor. He regularly interacts with those in charge while he is present, and his suggestions are invaluable. It’s crucial that she is a woman of good character; having a strong moral background is the best assurance of this. It’s unwise to think that, since she will only be there for a few weeks, character doesn’t matter, because, without any visible signs that raise suspicion, she could bring with her the potential for venereal and other diseases that might harm the child through simple actions like kissing, leading to lasting consequences that could take years to resolve.

Medical authorities assert that at least six weeks are required after childbirth before the womb assumes its natural size and position. An eminent physician, writing in the New York Medical Journal, says: "I have watched this very carefully in a number of women, and have seen in the perfectly clean womb of a non-nurs[Pg 257]ing mother involution delayed as late as the third month."

Medical experts claim that it takes at least six weeks after giving birth for the uterus to return to its normal size and position. A well-respected doctor, writing in the New York Medical Journal, states: "I have closely observed this in several women, and I've noted that in the completely healthy uterus of a mother who is not breastfeeding, the process of returning to normal can be delayed until the third month."

It is perfectly safe to say that parents will make no mistake by observing the requirement of the Levitical teaching upon this subject.

It’s completely safe to say that parents won't go wrong by following the guidelines of the Levitical teachings on this topic.

After confinement or miscarriage, marital relations should be wholly omitted for a period. Upon this point the sanitary regulations of the Mosaic economy were very explicit. In the twelfth chapter of Leviticus instruction is given that after the birth of a male child at least forty days should elapse, and after the birth of a female, or maid child, at least eighty days should be permitted to elapse. Just why there should be this difference in time, six weeks after the birth of a male child and three months after the birth of a female child, seems not to be clearly understood either by theologians or medical authorities. When we know that this is intended and enjoined, we can rest assured that there are good and sufficient reasons, whether they be physical, social, sanitary or political.

After confinement or miscarriage, sexual relations should be completely avoided for a while. The health guidelines from the Mosaic laws were very clear on this. In the twelfth chapter of Leviticus, it states that after giving birth to a male child, at least forty days should pass, and after the birth of a female child, at least eighty days should be allowed to pass. The reason for this difference in time—six weeks after the birth of a male and three months after the birth of a female—doesn't seem to be well understood by theologians or medical experts. However, knowing that this is prescribed, we can be confident there are valid reasons behind it, whether they are physical, social, health-related, or political.

No thoughtful or considerate husband would desire to impose upon his wife such exactions as would result in her certain discomfort, and possibly in such permanent physical injuries as are quite sure to follow.

No caring or considerate husband would want to put his wife through demands that would definitely cause her discomfort, and possibly lead to lasting physical harm that is sure to follow.

One of the medical journals recently contained an incident narrated by a physician who had attended a woman in five different confinements. In each instance the physician noticed that about the seventh or eighth day the tem[Pg 258]perature of the patient indicated some unusual physical disturbance or irregularity. In the last confinement, when the physician called to mind similar conditions during previous periods of convalescence, he decided to discover the cause, and, by questioning the patient very critically, learned that the guilty husband was the occasion of his wife's trouble. While such occurrences are shameful in the highest degree, yet it is possible that such gross conduct is the occasion of many relapses upon the part of convalescing mothers, and to this it is probable that many deaths may easily be attributable.

One of the medical journals recently featured a story shared by a doctor who had cared for a woman during five different births. In each case, the doctor noticed that around the seventh or eighth day, the patient's temperature showed some unusual physical disturbance or irregularity. During her last birth, remembering similar situations from her earlier recoveries, the doctor decided to find out the cause. By questioning the patient very carefully, he discovered that her unfaithful husband was responsible for her problems. While such incidents are extremely shameful, it's possible that this kind of behavior leads to many relapses in recovering mothers, and it’s likely that many deaths could be linked to this issue.

That some husbands are brutal in this respect, we need but simply to name that an eminent physician of Philadelphia has stated that a legal friend had told him that he had procured a divorce within two years from her marriage for a wife whose charges of cruelty were sustained by the evidence that three days after her confinement her husband had driven the nurse out of his wife's room in order that he might make this cruel exaction of her.

That some husbands can be really harsh in this regard is evident. An influential doctor from Philadelphia once mentioned that a legal friend informed him about a divorce he managed to get for a wife who claimed cruelty. This was backed by evidence showing that just three days after she gave birth, her husband kicked the nurse out of her room so he could impose this cruel demand on her.

After the little stranger is safely landed, bathed, dressed, and has had a sufficient period of rest, the matter of nourishment is likely to come up for consideration. The food which nature has provided is best suited to the physical requirements of the child, and is found in the mother's breasts. The earliest secretions of her breast constitute what is called colostrum, and is purgative in character, designed to cleanse the child's bowels of the meconium, or[Pg 259] tar-like substance, with which they are filled previous to birth. Other food should never be substituted until failure has resulted in an honest, serious effort to conform to nature's purpose. If for any reason the child cannot obtain the nourishment which should be provided by the mother, it needs very little food until the third day.

After the little stranger has safely arrived, been bathed, dressed, and had enough rest, the topic of feeding is likely to come up. The food that nature provides is best suited to the child's physical needs and is found in the mother's breasts. The earliest secretions from her breast are known as colostrum, which acts as a laxative, meant to clear the child's bowels of the meconium, or tar-like substance, that they are filled with before birth. Other food should never be substituted until there has been a genuine, serious effort to follow nature’s plan. If, for any reason, the child cannot get the nourishment provided by the mother, it needs very little food until the third day.

If the serious results attendant upon artificial food and the provision of wet-nurses were fully understood, the terrible consequences which come to both the children and their parents, as the result of such courses, would be studiously avoided. The desire to escape the nursing and care of children, so as early to return to the rounds of social duties and marital excesses, is a great mistake. The well-being of the mother, as well as of the child, is dependent upon the fulfillment of the natural obligations which are inseparable from the relation of motherhood.

If the serious consequences of artificial feeding and using wet-nurses were fully understood, the awful outcomes for both children and their parents that result from these choices would be carefully avoided. The urge to avoid the nursing and care of children to quickly return to social obligations and marital activities is a major error. Both the mother’s and the child’s well-being depend on fulfilling the natural responsibilities that come with being a mother.

In large cities there are women who lead dissolute lives, put away their own children, and then rent themselves out as wet-nurses. When interviewed they tell plausible stories, and ingratiate themselves sometimes into good families, to render the double service of nurse and artificial mother. Many of these women are not only devoid of moral character, but bring to the child the degenerating influences which are inseparable from the vice and impurity which is a part of their own being. Not infrequently these women bring with them the after-effects of gonorrhea and syphilis, and the innocent[Pg 260] child, which is entitled to the nourishment from the body of its own mother, is subjected by unthinking parents to the necessity of feeding at fountains which flow with corruption, disease and death.

In big cities, there are women who live reckless lives, put their own kids aside, and then offer themselves as wet-nurses. When they are interviewed, they share convincing stories and sometimes charm their way into decent families, providing both nursing and the role of a surrogate mother. Many of these women not only lack moral integrity, but also bring harmful influences that come with the vices and impurities that are part of their own lives. Often, these women carry the consequences of gonorrhea and syphilis, and the innocent [Pg 260] child, who deserves nourishment from its own mother, is made by careless parents to feed from sources tainted with corruption, disease, and death.

It is on this very account that the children of the middle and even lower classes are generally stronger physically, intellectually and morally, than the children of those whose wealth and inclination incline them to dissipation and excess, to late hours and rich food, and who from simple preference subject their children to artificial food, or to the dangers and diseases which are so often brought into the home by a wet-nurse and vicious nurse-girls.

It’s for this reason that kids from the middle and even lower classes are usually stronger physically, intellectually, and morally than kids from wealthier families who tend to indulge in excess, stay up late, and eat rich foods. These well-off families often choose to feed their kids artificial foods or expose them to the risks and illnesses that can come from having a wet-nurse and harmful nanny.

Fatherhood, no less than motherhood, has its duties and its pleasures. It is not only the father's duty, but it ought also to be his pleasure, to look after his own children. Some husbands speak of "the baby" as though it belonged wholly to the wife, and not to them. The thought of caring for or tending the child seems to be as foreign to their minds as though it were a child adopted by their wives from a foundling asylum.

Fatherhood, just like motherhood, comes with its responsibilities and joys. It's not just the father's responsibility; it should also be a source of happiness for him to care for his own kids. Some husbands refer to "the baby" as if it solely belongs to their wives and not to them. The idea of caring for or looking after the child seems so alien to them, as if the child were adopted by their wives from a children's home.

It is not only the privilege, but the honor of the father to be found enjoying the pleasure and satisfaction of holding and caring for his children at proper times and intervals of leisure.

It is not just a privilege, but an honor for a father to be found enjoying the pleasure and satisfaction of holding and caring for his children during the right moments and times of leisure.

One of the prettiest pictures of home life is a painting in one of the galleries of Europe of the king of Belgium, upon his hands and knees[Pg 261] upon the floor of the nursery, playing horse with his own royal children.

One of the most beautiful depictions of home life is a painting in one of the galleries in Europe, showing the king of Belgium on his hands and knees[Pg 261] on the nursery floor, playing horse with his own royal kids.

Some men seem to act as though it were a disgrace for them to carry their own children through the streets, or push the baby carriage when accompanied by their own wives. Every person has seen some strong, stalwart father, with weak character, walking by the side of a delicate, nervous wife, who is weak and faint because of the burden of carrying a child which belongs as much to the father as to the mother. Before they were married this same man would not allow the delicate darling by his side to carry her parasol; but now that they are married she is permitted to carry a child that weighs ten or twenty pounds, or even more, for great distances, because of the false pride of her unthoughtful husband.

Some men seem to act like it's a shame for them to carry their own children in public or push the stroller when they're with their own wives. Everyone has seen a strong, sturdy dad walking next to a delicate, anxious wife, who is weak and exhausted from carrying a child that belongs to both of them. Before they got married, this same guy wouldn't let his fragile partner carry her own umbrella; but now that they're married, she's expected to carry a child weighing ten or twenty pounds or more for long distances, all because of her thoughtless husband’s misplaced pride.

We once knew a pastor of a prominent city church who lived adjacent to a small park where he was accustomed, at times, to sit in the shade and read. After a baby came into their home, being a sensible man, he found pleasure in giving some time and attention to his child; used sometimes to wheel it through the park in a baby carriage, or have the carriage stand near him while he sat and read. His home was not without a sufficient number of helpers, and one of his parishioners ventured one day to suggest that it was not becoming to take the baby with him when he went into the park to read; but the sensible father resented not only the insult which was offered to him personally, but to uni[Pg 262]versal fatherhood, by replying that it was his baby, and he would do with it as he pleased.

We once knew a pastor of a well-known city church who lived next to a small park where he often sat in the shade and read. After they had a baby, being a reasonable man, he enjoyed spending time with his child; he would sometimes push the baby in a stroller through the park, or keep the stroller nearby while he read. His home had enough helpers, and one of his church members suggested one day that it wasn't right to take the baby with him when he went to the park to read. The sensible father not only took offense at this personal insult but also at the slight against all fathers, responding that it was his baby, and he would do as he wished.

The presence of a baby is a blessing in any home. It is a blessing to the father as well as to the mother. Some men are not good fathers, the same as some women are not the best of mothers; but any thoughtful husband will concede the fact that a proper apprehension of the relation which he sustains to the baby that is born in his home calls for a recognition of the privileges and obligations of a father to himself, to his child, and to his wife as well. What his home is, what his children are to become, will depend as much, and possibly more, upon what he is and does, than upon the little woman whose time, talent and strength are already taxed to their utmost by the various and constant demands which she must hourly meet.

The arrival of a baby is a blessing in any home. It brings joy to both the father and the mother. Some men aren’t great fathers, just as some women aren’t the best mothers; however, any considerate husband will recognize that understanding his role in relation to the baby born in his home requires acknowledging the responsibilities and privileges of being a father to himself, his child, and his wife. What his home becomes and what his children grow up to be will depend just as much, if not more, on who he is and what he does than on the little woman whose time, talent, and energy are already stretched to their limits by the constant demands she faces every hour.


Part III

Part 3

CONCERNING HIS CHILDREN

ABOUT HIS KIDS


CHAPTER XVII.

HEREDITY.

We now come in the third and last part of this book to write of what a young husband ought to know with regard to his children. If his children are to be greatly benefited by the wisdom of the father, he should be in possession of the knowledge imparted in the following chapters many years before he is in possession of the children. After they have received their inheritance from the parents, their bodies have been molded and fashioned, and bent and direction already given to their character, it is then too late to put such knowledge into practical use.

We now reach the third and final part of this book to discuss what a young husband should know about his children. If his children are to truly benefit from their father's wisdom, he should have the knowledge presented in the following chapters long before he actually has the children. Once they have received their inheritance from their parents, their bodies have been shaped and formed, and their character has already been influenced and directed, it will be too late to apply such knowledge effectively.

Much of what might be said in the closing chapters of this book has already found expression in the pages preceding. The doctrine of transmission and inheritance pervades not only this entire book, but also the two which precede it in the series. While it is true that too much importance cannot be placed upon the subject of heredity, the inheritance which we receive not only from our parents and grandparents but even from our great-grandparents, and while it is true that all that can be acquired in character and culture, both intellectual and physical, is transmitted from the parents to their children; yet possibly that[Pg 266] which is by far the largest factor in determining the physical, intellectual, social and moral endowment of the child are found in the influences which mold and fashion the child during the months which lie between the period of conception and the time of birth. The potent influences of these different periods stand related to each other somewhat like what may be seen in the studio of an artist who molds and fashions in clay the models which are afterward to be actualized in brass or bronze. While the success of the work might be said to be greatly dependent upon the character, quality and condition of the clay brought to hand for this service, and while no perfect result could be secured with indifferent material, yet it is easy to see how, with the very best material at hand, an indifferent artist or a good artist when in indifferent mood would produce a very inferior model. If, with the thought of modifying the bronze figure after it has been cast, the artist is indifferent to the merits of the model which he is making, the final result can only prove a failure. No step in the work is unimportant, but the most important of all is the perfection of the model. In his hands the clay readily yields itself to his thought and impression; constant momentary care will prevent defects and deformities which could not be wholly remedied or refashioned, even by months and years of subsequent toil.

Much of what can be said in the final chapters of this book has already been expressed in the earlier pages. The concept of transmission and inheritance runs throughout this entire book and also the two preceding it in the series. While it's true that we can't overstate the importance of heredity—the inheritance we receive not just from our parents and grandparents but even our great-grandparents—and while it's also true that all that can be gained in character and culture, both intellectual and physical, is passed down from parents to children, possibly the biggest factor in determining a child's physical, intellectual, social, and moral development comes from the influences that shape them during the months between conception and birth. The powerful influences from these different periods relate to each other much like the way an artist works in a studio, shaping clay models that will later be cast in brass or bronze. While the success of the work greatly depends on the character, quality, and condition of the clay used, and while no perfect outcome can be achieved with poor material, it’s clear that even with the best material, an indifferent artist, or even a good artist in a bad mood, could produce a subpar model. If the artist thinks about modifying the bronze figure after it's cast but doesn’t care about the quality of the model they're creating, the final outcome will likely be disappointing. Every step in the process is important, but the most crucial is perfecting the model. In the artist's hands, the clay easily conforms to their thoughts and impressions; ongoing, attentive care will prevent defects and deformities that even years of effort afterward can't completely fix.

A wise man, when asked at what period a child's education should begin, replied:[Pg 267] "Twenty years before it is born." This is not an extreme statement, and if it errs in anything it errs in making the period too short rather than too long. Henry Ward Beecher once said that since so much depends upon one's ancestors, a man ought to be very careful in choosing his grandparents; and there is a vast deal of truth suggested by this statement. A young woman cannot be too careful in choosing the man who is to become the father of her children, and a young man cannot exercise too much care in selecting the woman who is to become the mother of his children.

A wise person, when asked when a child's education should start, replied:[Pg 267] "Twenty years before they are born." This isn't an extreme opinion; if it has any flaw, it's that it may underestimate the timeframe rather than overestimate it. Henry Ward Beecher once said that since so much relies on one's ancestors, a person should be very selective about their grandparents; there's a lot of truth in that. A young woman should be very careful in choosing the man who will be the father of her children, and a young man should be equally thoughtful in selecting the woman who will be the mother of his children.

In writing of heredity and prenatal influences, the subject divides itself naturally into the three periods which we have previously suggested—the preparation which precedes conception, the mental and physical condition at the time of conjunction, the environment and the mental and physical states of the mother during the period of gestation.

In discussing heredity and prenatal influences, the topic naturally breaks down into three periods that we mentioned earlier—the preparation that occurs before conception, the mental and physical state at the time of the union, and the environment along with the mental and physical conditions of the mother during pregnancy.

So much depends upon heredity that men who are interested in the breeding of horses for the race-course recognize the fact that unless a horse comes of racing stock he cannot be possessed of these essential qualities, without which he cannot possibly win. It is said by those who have made a study of it, that in England no horse has been known to win in any considerable race that was not bred of racing stock. Occasionally a horse with an ordinary pedigree may exhibit wonderful speed for a short distance, but none possesses the wind and endur[Pg 268]ance necessary for a long race with animals of a pure blood and a good pedigree. To this good inheritance the horseman adds constant training and the best of care. If these are at any time neglected, the horse begins to degenerate and reverts to the level of the ordinary animal.

So much depends on genetics that people who breed racehorses recognize that unless a horse comes from racing lineage, it can't have the essential qualities needed to win. Experts say that in England, no horse has ever won a significant race without being bred from racing stock. Sometimes, a horse with an average pedigree might show incredible speed over a short distance, but none have the stamina and endurance needed for a long race against purebred rivals. To this solid inheritance, a horseman adds consistent training and top-notch care. If these elements are neglected at any point, the horse starts to decline and falls back to the level of an average animal.

It is generally agreed by physicians and those who have devoted time to the study of this subject that the mind and temper of the parents at the moment of conjunction have a great influence upon the temper and disposition of the child. Children should never be begotten except at those times when the husband and the wife can both bring their contribution of good health, affection and mental composure. Something of the effects produced by the mental states will appear by what we have to say in subsequent paragraphs.

It is widely agreed by doctors and those who have studied this topic that the mindset and mood of the parents at the moment of conception greatly influence the temperament and personality of the child. Children should only be conceived when both the husband and wife can contribute good health, love, and mental stability. The impact of these mental states will be evident in what we discuss in the following paragraphs.

In most instances it is perhaps true, as we have already suggested, that the greatest influences exerted upon the health, disposition and character are those which are effected by the physical and mental condition of the mother and the character of her environment during the period of gestation. While much of what we would like to know concerning prenatal influences is shrouded in mystery behind a veil that shuts us out from this holy of holies in which God dwells in mysterious creative power, yet we do know that peace of mind, equanimity of temper, purity of life, loving affections and exalted aspirations beget influences which are[Pg 269] favorable to the production of the best physical, intellectual and moral endowments. If strong mental excitement, anger, emotion or fatigue affect injuriously the milk of the mother, so that the nursing child at once feels disturbed and injured, then we can reasonably understand how the child during the months prior to its birth, while it is even more dependent and far more intimately connected with the life-currents of the mother's body, and under the impress of her mental state, must be affected in a manner correspondingly greater.

In most cases, it’s true, as we've already mentioned, that the biggest influences on health, mood, and character come from the mother’s physical and mental state and the environment she’s in during pregnancy. While there's a lot we still want to learn about prenatal influences shrouded in mystery, we know that a peaceful mind, balanced emotions, a pure lifestyle, loving feelings, and high aspirations create positive effects that support the development of the best physical, intellectual, and moral qualities. If strong emotions like excitement, anger, or fatigue can negatively impact a mother’s milk, disturbing and harming the nursing child, it’s reasonable to think that during the months before birth, when the child is even more dependent and closely tied to the mother’s life forces, the child must be affected even more profoundly by her mental state.

While scientists at the present stage of inquiry and investigation have not been able to weigh and measure the force and effect of these influences, yet some results have been secured which help us to understand the existence of powers which were previously too subtle to be brought into the realm of human knowledge.

While scientists today haven't been able to quantify the force and impact of these influences, they have obtained some results that help us understand the existence of powers that were too subtle to be part of human knowledge before.

Something of the manner in which the mental condition of the mother may affect the child is suggested by the interesting experiments conducted by Prof. Elmer Gates in his laboratory at Chevy Chase, Washington, D. C. Prof. Gates has demonstrated the fact that even the breath is so affected by the mental state that by analyzing the residuum which remains upon a looking-glass which has been breathed upon, he is able to determine the character of the mental condition of the individual at the time the breath was exhaled upon the glass. Anger, revenge, jealousy, joy, pain, pleasure, and possibly all the emotions, stamp their distinctive[Pg 270] messages upon the breath with as much accuracy as the little machine in the telegraph office registers its message in characters which we need only to know in order to be read. What some of these many characters are, Prof. Gates has been able to decipher, and his investigations and discoveries establish the fact that the mentality of the individual is stamped upon the breath.

Something about how a mother’s mental state can affect her child is suggested by the intriguing experiments conducted by Prof. Elmer Gates in his lab at Chevy Chase, Washington, D.C. Prof. Gates has shown that even breath is influenced by mental condition. By analyzing the residue left on a mirror that has been breathed on, he can determine the individual’s mental state at the time the breath was exhaled. Emotions like anger, revenge, jealousy, joy, pain, pleasure, and possibly all feelings leave their unique[Pg 270]impressions on breath just as accurately as a machine in a telegraph office transmits messages in characters that we only need to understand in order to interpret. Some of these impressions, Prof. Gates has been able to decipher, and his research and findings confirm that a person’s mentality is imprinted on their breath.

The mind not only affects the breath, but it affects the entire individual; and this statement is proven by the fact that the character of the exhalations of the body are affected by the mentality of the individual. It is a well-known fact that not only does each different disease produce its own peculiar bodily odor, but mental states produce similar effects. It is affirmed that the odor in an insane asylum differs from the odor in all other institutions. It is stated that no amount of care and cleanliness, or even fumigation, can rid the wards and rooms of this subtle and distinctive odor, peculiar to the bodily exhalations of those who are affected with mental infirmities.

The mind not only influences breathing but also impacts the entire person; this is shown by how the character of body exhalations is shaped by an individual's mindset. It’s widely recognized that each different disease has its own unique body odor, and mental states can create similar effects. It’s said that the odor in a mental health facility differs from that of other institutions. Reports indicate that no amount of cleaning, care, or even fumigation can eliminate this subtle and distinct smell associated with the bodily exhalations of those who experience mental health issues.

Insane asylums do not afford the only illustration. Institutions in which convicts are confined also have an odor which is distinctive. It differs from that of any other institution, and from the day that the buildings are completed and the convicts enter, the penitentiary odor is present, because inseparable from those who inhabit its wards. What is true of insane asylums and penitentiaries is doubtless true in[Pg 271] a less pronounced manner of all institutions where persons are classified according to mental differences.

Insane asylums aren't the only examples. Prisons also have a unique smell. It sets them apart from any other place, and from the moment the buildings are finished and the inmates arrive, the prison smell is there, inseparable from those who live in its halls. What holds true for insane asylums and prisons likely applies, in a subtler way, to all institutions where people are categorized based on mental differences.

If the mental states of the mother affect her own bodily health, and if each of the diseases of the body and of the mind begets exhalations with distinguishing characteristics, it is easy to understand that the subtle effects of different mental states pervade the entire body. If these influences effect results beyond and without our own bodies, much more may they be expected to influence the unfolding mind and the developing body which are forming within the maternal body, and whose intimate dependence upon her seems to make them a part of her own person and individuality.

If the mother's mental state impacts her physical health, and if each physical and mental illness produces distinct reactions, it's easy to see how the subtle effects of various mental states can affect the whole body. If these influences can have effects beyond just ourselves, they are even more likely to impact the growing mind and body developing within her, which are so closely connected to her that they seem like extensions of her own self and identity.

Something of these subtle laws of heredity was known even to the ancients, but the greatest acquisitions of knowledge along these lines have come to mankind during the past two centuries. Thomas Andrew Knight, who was born at Wormley Grange, England, in 1758, and died in 1836, accomplished such large results with vegetables, fruits and domestic animals, that he has quite properly been considered the founder of the science of horticulture. It was he who put into practice the principles which have resulted in giving us the improved apples, pears and many other fruits which have been developed from the unpalatable wild varieties. The effects later accomplished by Bakewell in the marvelous improvements in the new Leicester sheep afford one of many striking[Pg 272] illustrations. It is said that in the results effected by scientific breeders "it would seem as if they had at first drawn a perfect form and then given it life." Having first determined what form of sheep they preferred, they continued to select from the flocks those which most nearly approached the model, until they attained results which in their standard of perfection were greatly removed from the original type.

Something about these subtle laws of heredity was known even to the ancients, but the biggest advancements in this knowledge have come to humanity over the last two centuries. Thomas Andrew Knight, who was born at Wormley Grange, England, in 1758 and died in 1836, achieved significant results with vegetables, fruits, and domestic animals, earning him the rightful title of the founder of horticulture. He was the one who applied the principles that led to the development of improved apples, pears, and many other fruits from the inedible wild varieties. The remarkable advancements made by Bakewell with the new Leicester sheep serve as one of many striking illustrations. It’s said that in the results achieved by scientific breeders, "it would seem as if they had first drawn a perfect form and then given it life." After determining what form of sheep they preferred, they continued to select from the flocks those that most closely resembled the ideal, until they reached results that were far from the original type in their standard of perfection.[Pg 272]

If you compare the wild boar of the forests with the improved breeds of swine, the results which have been secured become very manifest. An excellent judge of pigs says: "Pigs' legs should be no longer than just to prevent the animal's belly from trailing on the ground. The leg is the least profitable portion of the hog, and we therefore require no more of it than is absolutely necessary for the support of the rest. Let any one compare the wild boar with any improved breed and he will see how effectually the legs have been shortened."

If you compare the wild boar in the forests to the improved breeds of pigs, the differences are quite clear. A knowledgeable pig judge says: "Pigs' legs should be just long enough to keep the animal's belly from dragging on the ground. The leg is the least valuable part of the pig, so we only need it to be as long as necessary to support the rest of the body. If anyone compares the wild boar to any improved breed, they'll see how much shorter the legs have become."

Breeders of birds and pigeons and poultry have accomplished in their departments similar results. It is to the results of such study and development that we owe the many varieties of poultry, pigeons and birds. The poultry raiser may now determine whether he desires birds with large bodies for the table, or the smaller egg-producers, or whether he prefers other qualities, and he may select from the different varieties such as are possessed of the desired requisites.

Breeders of birds, pigeons, and poultry have achieved similar results in their fields. We owe the many varieties of poultry, pigeons, and birds to the outcomes of such study and development. Now, poultry raisers can decide if they want birds with large bodies for meat, smaller ones for egg production, or other specific traits, and they can choose from the different varieties that have the desired characteristics.

When we remember what has been accom[Pg 273]plished by those who have taken the single-leaf wild rose and produced the many elaborate and beautiful varieties of roses which are now cultivated in hot-houses, and when we see what has been accomplished by taking the many wild flowers of the field and developing them into the beauty and splendor of what is to be found in the botanical gardens, one gets a very fair idea of what has really been accomplished in these directions. In writing of this subject Dr. M. L. Holbrook says: "If there was no law of heredity, if animals and plants did not transmit their characters to their offspring, then it would be a waste of time to try to improve either." But the horticulturists take advantage of these known laws for the improvement of the original plant, and it is to the application of these same principles that we owe the changes which have transformed the size and flavor of the wild cherry and the wild grape into our present luscious specimens of cultivated fruit.

When we think about what has been achieved by those who took the single-leaf wild rose and created the many intricate and beautiful varieties of roses we now grow in greenhouses, and when we see what has been done by taking various wildflowers and turning them into the beauty and magnificence found in botanical gardens, it gives us a good understanding of the progress made in these areas. Dr. M. L. Holbrook writes on this topic: "If there was no law of heredity, if animals and plants did not pass their traits to their offspring, then it would be pointless to try to improve either." However, horticulturists leverage these established laws to enhance the original plant, and it is thanks to applying these same principles that we have transformed the size and taste of wild cherries and wild grapes into the delicious varieties of cultivated fruit we enjoy today.

In the raising, mating and development of birds, sheep and cattle, wonderful results may be secured when the various steps are guarded and directed by intelligence. While it is true that in the mating of human beings all is largely left to sentiment, chance and blind blundering, and while wonderful results could be attained could intelligence and forethought give direction in human love affairs, yet with human beings who intelligently set themselves to correct mistakes and to develop talents, to supply deficiencies and prepare to transmit the very[Pg 274] best results that are possible to them, the effort is approved by results in the offspring which are most gratifying and satisfactory.

In raising, breeding, and developing birds, sheep, and cattle, amazing results can be achieved when each step is carefully managed with intelligence. While it’s true that human mating is mostly left to emotion, luck, and random mistakes, incredible outcomes could be reached if intelligence and planning guided romantic relationships. However, when people actively work to correct mistakes, develop their skills, address shortcomings, and prepare to pass on the best possible outcomes, the efforts are reflected in offspring that are truly rewarding and fulfilling.

No one can doubt the law of hereditary transmission. Our inherited and acquired characteristics are sure to be transmitted to our descendants. Indeed, so thoroughly does character permeate one's entire being that it might be said of each drop of blood that in its characteristics it is a miniature of the person in whose body it was secreted. Eminent characters do not emanate from degenerate parents; and neither is the reverse true, except as the result of adequate reversionary influences. It is possible for almost any stock to revert to its original type, but even such results are not produced without adequate causes. True, we have the sentence "Degenerate sons of noble sires," but when one does see such a result he may often find adequate causes. Eminent men often have their powers overtaxed by excessive demands. Great lawyers, physicians, preachers and statesmen often have such incessant demands upon their time and energy that, although some are possessed of great powers of endurance, yet many of them are almost always in a state of physical and mental depletion. Personally they have wrought into their daily effort all that they have to transmit, and their children receive only the remnants and dregs of greatness—a depleted body and a depleted mind.

No one can deny the law of hereditary transmission. Our inherited and learned traits are definitely passed down to our descendants. In fact, character is so deeply woven into one's entire being that it could be said that each drop of blood is a miniature representation of the person whose body produced it. Exceptional individuals do not come from degenerate parents; and the opposite is also rare, except due to significant reverting influences. Almost any lineage can revert to its original type, but even such outcomes don't happen without proper causes. Sure, we have the phrase "degenerate sons of noble sires," but when we do encounter such cases, we often find adequate causes behind them. Remarkable individuals frequently have their abilities stretched thin by overwhelming demands. Great lawyers, doctors, preachers, and politicians often face such continuous pressures on their time and energy that, despite some having incredible endurance, many are frequently in a state of physical and mental exhaustion. Personally, they put everything they have into their daily efforts, and their children end up with only the leftovers and remnants of greatness—a worn-out body and a drained mind.

Sometimes the degeneracy to the lower type[Pg 275] is due to indulgence in social or other vices. If the father is guilty of sexual excesses, given to the liberal use of tobacco, or uses intoxicating liquors, it will not be necessary to look further for the causes. Sometimes the child has had a great father, but a very ordinary mother; or both parents may have been great, while the mother may have been placed under the most disadvantageous surroundings, and subjected to the most unfavorable conditions during the period of gestation; or, after the birth of the child, it may have been turned over to the degenerating influences of diseased and corrupting servants; or it might be that the child had inherited the real character of a father whose reputation was great, but whose character was ordinary. The farmer who would raise a good crop finds three things essential. The first is, good seed; the second is, good soil; and the third is, good care.

Sometimes, degeneration to a lower type[Pg 275] is caused by indulgence in social or other vices. If the father is guilty of sexual excesses, uses tobacco heavily, or consumes alcohol, there's no need to look further for the reasons. Sometimes a child may have had a remarkable father but an average mother; or both parents might have been exceptional, while the mother faced very challenging circumstances and unfavorable conditions during pregnancy; or, after the child was born, they could have been subjected to the negative influence of unhealthy and corrupt caregivers; or it might be that the child inherited the true nature of a father who had a great reputation but an ordinary character. The farmer who wants to grow a good crop needs three essential things: good seed, good soil, and good care.


CHAPTER XVIII.

PRENATAL INFLUENCES.

Space does not permit us to go into a full discussion of the theories and of the principles which lie at the basis of prenatal influences. A few illustrations, however, will be suggestive, induce thoughtful consideration, and possibly lead many to a fuller investigation of the subject.

Space doesn't allow us to have a complete discussion about the theories and principles underlying prenatal influences. Nevertheless, a few examples will be thought-provoking, encourage careful reflection, and might inspire many to explore the topic more deeply.

It is said that the mother of Robert Burns, the Scottish poet, was of a very happy disposition, and evinced a remarkable memory for old songs and ballads, and these she would sing as she went about her daily household duties.

It is said that Robert Burns' mother, the Scottish poet, had a very cheerful personality and showed an impressive memory for old songs and ballads, which she would sing while doing her daily household chores.

Another instance often named is that of Napoleon Bonaparte. During the months preceding his birth his mother is said to have accompanied her husband on horseback upon one of his military campaigns. For several months she lived in the midst of military surroundings, and became personally interested in the arts of war. These influences stamped their impress upon her unborn child, whose earliest manifestation of childish interest after his birth was an exhibition of the warlike spirit. His thoughts and boyhood conversation were of war and conquest.

Another often-cited example is Napoleon Bonaparte. In the months leading up to his birth, his mother is said to have ridden alongside her husband during one of his military campaigns. For several months, she lived amidst military life and became personally engaged with the arts of war. These experiences left their mark on her unborn child, whose first signs of childhood interest after his birth were displays of a warrior spirit. His thoughts and conversations as a boy revolved around war and conquest.

Mr. C. J. Bayer, in his interesting and suggestive book, entitled "Maternal Impressions,"[Pg 277] tells of a woman who, during the period of gestation, was stinted in her allowance of money, and stole from the cash-drawer in her husband's store. The son that was born to them was a kleptomaniac, whose stealing was limited to those of his own family and relatives. He stole his sister's watch, his mother's gold chain, a new suit and a diamond pin from his father; but he was never known to take anything from any one except his near relatives. If mothers would have honest children they should be careful to entertain no dishonest inclinations.

Mr. C. J. Bayer, in his engaging and thought-provoking book, titled "Maternal Impressions,"[Pg 277] discusses a woman who, during her pregnancy, was given a limited amount of money and ended up stealing from the cash drawer at her husband's store. The son born to them became a kleptomaniac, and his stealing was confined to his own family and relatives. He took his sister's watch, his mother's gold chain, a new suit, and a diamond pin from his father; however, he never stole from anyone outside his immediate family. If mothers want honest children, they need to be careful not to entertain any dishonest tendencies.

The result of an unsuccessful effort to murder one's own unborn offspring is seen in Guiteau, the assassin who shot President Garfield in 1881. His father was a man of some intellectual ability and integrity of character. The Guiteau children were born in rapid succession, and, because of lack of means, the mother, who was in poor health, was obliged to work harder than would have otherwise been the case. Before the birth of this child she resorted to every means in her power, by the use of drugs, to produce an abortion. In this she was unsuccessful. For several weeks during the latter part of her pregnancy she had brain fever, which probably also had the effect of arresting the development of some parts of the brain of her child. When the child was born it was weak and puny, and for months its life was one continual wail. It was months before the nervous system became at all quiet. He was deficient in common sense, without self-control,[Pg 278] and entirely destitute of every vestige of remorse or shame. He was born a degenerate and a murderer.

The outcome of a failed attempt to terminate an unwanted pregnancy is reflected in Guiteau, the man who shot President Garfield in 1881. His father had some intellectual abilities and a strong character. The Guiteau children were born in quick succession, and due to financial strain, the mother, who was in poor health, had to work harder than she otherwise would have. Before this child was born, she tried everything she could, including drugs, to have an abortion. She wasn't successful. For several weeks during the later part of her pregnancy, she suffered from brain fever, which likely hindered the development of some areas of her child's brain. When the child was born, he was weak and frail, and for months, his life was filled with constant crying. It took months for his nervous system to settle at all. He lacked common sense, had no self-control, and showed no signs of remorse or shame. He was born a degenerate and a murderer.[Pg 278]

From the great mass of matter which is available upon the subject of prenatal influences, Dr. Napheys tells of the artist Flaxman, the outlines of whose drawings used to be regarded as the most perfect and graceful in existence: "From earliest childhood he manifested a delight in drawing. His mother, a woman of refinement and artistic taste, used to relate that for months previous to his birth she spent hours daily studying engravings, and fixing in her memory the most beautiful productions of the human figure as portrayed by masters. She was convinced that the genius of her son was the fruit of her own self-culture."

From the vast amount of information available on prenatal influences, Dr. Napheys shares the story of the artist Flaxman, whose drawing outlines were once considered the most perfect and graceful in existence: "From a young age, he showed a passion for drawing. His mother, a woman of refinement and artistic taste, used to say that for months before his birth, she spent hours each day studying engravings and memorizing the most beautiful representations of the human figure created by masters. She believed that her son's talent was the result of her own personal development."

Only a few days ago a young mother who had been alone much of the time during the period of gestation, and who had found special delight in books and reading, called our attention to the fact that her twin girls, now nearly two years of age, will accept a book in preference to toys, and be contented by the hour simply to hold and handle a book.

Only a few days ago, a young mother who had spent a lot of time alone during her pregnancy and who really enjoyed books and reading, pointed out that her twin girls, now almost two years old, prefer to play with a book instead of toys, and can happily spend hours just holding and exploring a book.

Mr. C. J. Bayer tells of a young wife at whom some girl friends pointed their finger, and, referring to her condition, said: "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" After they were gone, the young mother went to her room and cried bitterly over the remark which the girls had made. Her child, when seen by Mr. Bayer at the age of six, if any one, a stranger or friend,[Pg 279] pointed a finger at her, would burst into a fit of crying, and it seemed impossible to cure her of this habit.

Mr. C. J. Bayer shares a story about a young wife who was pointed at by some girl friends. They referred to her situation and said, "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" After they left, the young mother went to her room and cried hard over the comment the girls made. When Mr. Bayer saw her child at the age of six, if anyone, whether a stranger or a friend, pointed a finger at her, she would start crying uncontrollably, and it seemed impossible to break her of this habit.[Pg 279]

He also tells of a young mother who had an exceptionally bright child: "When the child was three months old its brightness was commented upon by some of her friends, and the mother said, 'I impressed that upon her.' 'How did you come to do that?' She replied, 'I have seen so many dull children, in my school work, who could not understand what was told them, that I wanted my child to be quick to perceive and to comprehend, and so let my mind dwell upon it, hoping to get favorable results. I had been told that it could be done, and I am convinced that it is possible.'"

He also talks about a young mother with an exceptionally bright child: "When the child was three months old, some of her friends commented on the child’s brightness, and the mother said, 'I focused on that.' 'How did you manage that?' she replied, 'I've seen so many dull kids in my schoolwork who couldn't grasp what was being said, so I wanted my child to be quick to understand and comprehend. I kept my mind on it, hoping for good results. I had been told that it could be done, and I truly believe it’s possible.'"

Many instances of horrible child-marking are given in medical books, but it is not best to allow the mind to dwell upon these things. We name but a couple of instances, to illustrate the principle. Dr. Napheys tells of a woman, the wife of a baker, who, during the early months of her pregnancy, sold bread over the counter. Nearly every day a child with a double thumb came in for a penny roll, presenting the money between the thumb and the finger. After the third month the mother left the bakery, but the malformation was so impressed upon her mind that she was not surprised to see it reproduced in her own infant. The mother in due time sought to correct the deformity by having the supernumerary thumb removed by a surgical operation.[Pg 280]

Many examples of severe child deformities are mentioned in medical books, but it's not healthy to focus too much on these things. We'll mention a couple of cases to illustrate the point. Dr. Napheys describes a woman, the wife of a baker, who, during the early months of her pregnancy, sold bread at the counter. Almost every day, a child with an extra thumb would come in for a penny roll, handing over the money between the thumb and finger. After the third month, the mother left the bakery, but the deformity was so etched in her mind that she wasn’t surprised to see it in her own baby. Eventually, the mother sought to correct the deformity by having the extra thumb surgically removed.[Pg 280]

We recently heard of a mother who gave birth to a child that had but one hand. The other arm was handless, as if amputated between the elbow and wrist. The only way she could account for the deficiency in her child was the fact that her husband's brother, who had had his hand amputated, lived in the family during the earlier months of her pregnancy. While she received no special shock, being familiar with his condition, yet the mental impression, continued through a considerable period of the earlier months, had its disastrous result.

We recently heard about a mother who gave birth to a child with only one hand. The other arm was missing its hand, as if it had been amputated between the elbow and wrist. The only explanation she could come up with for her child's condition was that her husband's brother, who had lost his hand, lived with the family during the early months of her pregnancy. Although she experienced no particular shock since she was used to his condition, the mental image persisted for a significant time during those early months, leading to a tragic outcome.

Mr. C. J. Bayer names some interesting instances in support of his theory that the disastrous effects of being frightened in the earlier months of gestation may be corrected by the wish of the mother that her child may not be affected, deformed or marked by the object or influences which have caused her to be startled. He says that if a mother earnestly desires to counteract a bad influence she should hope and long that it may not do any harm. The result of such mental effort will be beneficial to the forming brain. That very longing and desire upon the part of the mother will have a corresponding effect upon her child. This idea is drawn from, and the phenomena is explained by, the fact that the mother, through her longings, creates the brain-substance which is to control the desires which her child will possess.

Mr. C. J. Bayer points out some interesting examples to support his theory that the negative effects of a mother being frightened in the early months of pregnancy can be mitigated by her wish for her child to remain unaffected, unmarked, or deformed by whatever startled her. He claims that if a mother sincerely wants to negate any harmful influence, she should hope and wish for it not to cause any damage. The outcome of such mental focus will be beneficial to the developing brain. That very hope and desire from the mother will have a corresponding impact on her child. This concept is based on, and the phenomena are explained by, the idea that the mother, through her longings, creates the brain substance that will govern the desires her child will have.

Much might also be said upon the subject of[Pg 281] longings. In a general way it may be said that it is always best, when the longing is a proper one, to see that it is promptly gratified. Even a desire for a particular article of food is likely to produce in the child a pronounced desire for the same thing. It is well, also, for the mother carefully to note any longings which occur during the period of gestation, as it may afford her an easy clue to the cause of the persistent crying of her child after its birth. An instance may prove suggestive.

Much can also be said about[Pg 281]longings. Generally speaking, when a longing is healthy, it’s always best to make sure it’s satisfied quickly. Even a craving for a specific type of food is likely to create a strong desire in the child for the same thing. It’s also important for the mother to pay attention to any cravings she experiences during pregnancy, as they can provide insight into the reasons for her child’s constant crying after birth. One example could be helpful.

An Israelitish mother, "before the birth of her first child, smelled fried pork, and longed for a taste of it, but her religion forbade. When the child was born he positively refused the breast or bottle. The nurse asked: 'What does this child want?' The mother replied: 'I do not know of anything, except pork.' The father at once got a strip of pork, let the child suck it a few moments, after which he was ready to nurse." The father also related that notwithstanding the fact that the eating of pork was contrary to their religious teaching, yet they had never been able to restrain their son, who was then twenty-one years of age, from eating it.

An Israeli mother, "before giving birth to her first child, craved fried pork and wanted to taste it, but her religion prohibited it. When the child was born, he refused to breastfeed or take a bottle. The nurse asked, 'What does this child want?' The mother replied, 'I can't think of anything except pork.' The father immediately got a piece of pork, let the child suck on it for a few moments, after which he was willing to nurse." The father also mentioned that despite their religious beliefs against eating pork, they had never been able to stop their son, who was now twenty-one, from eating it.

Numerous instances are related in different books where young infants have moaned and cried continually, and upon being given a taste of that for which the mother had longed prior to the birth of the child the infant at once became quiet, and afterward seemed passive and contented.

Numerous instances are mentioned in different books where young infants have cried and fussed non-stop, and when they were given a taste of what the mother had craved during pregnancy, the infant immediately calmed down and appeared relaxed and satisfied afterward.

We have read of a young mother who was[Pg 282] a strict temperance woman, but who had a longing for liquor. Her husband was also a temperance man, but they decided that some be given the mother, the same as any other medicine, under the circumstances, in order to relieve the longing and save the child. After taking a dose of liquor the longing passed away, and the child was normally born. Where the use of liquor is persisted in during the period of pregnancy, many instances might be quoted where all the children in the family died drunkards. There are some exceptional instances in which the children of intemperate fathers never seem possessed of a desire to use beverages. It is possible that investigation might show, in such instances, that the mother had such an abhorrence of the effects of intemperance upon her husband that her constant longing that her children might live sober, upright lives had resulted in securing for her a strictly temperance progeny.

We’ve read about a young mother who was a strict temperance advocate but had a craving for alcohol. Her husband was also committed to temperance, but they decided that she should be given some liquor, just like any other medicine, under the circumstances, to relieve her craving and save their child. After taking a dose of alcohol, the craving went away, and the child was born healthy. When alcohol use continues during pregnancy, there are many cases where all the children in the family ended up being alcoholics. However, there are some rare cases where the children of alcoholic fathers never seem to have a desire for alcoholic drinks. It’s possible that further investigation might reveal that these mothers had such a strong dislike for the effects of alcohol on their husbands that their constant wish for their children to lead sober, honest lives resulted in them having a strictly temperate offspring.

Dr. Dio Lewis, in his book entitled "Chastity," when writing of prenatal influences, says: "It is not carrying this subject too far to say that if any trade or profession seems particularly desirable, the genius for success in that line may be given to the child by proper effort before its birth. The mother whose mind persistently dwells upon any chosen subject during this nine months of gestation will surely see in her offspring the mark of her thought. Beauty of person, strength of mind, sweetness of disposition and holy aspiration may be assured to[Pg 283] posterity by parents wise and loving enough to fulfill the laws which lead to the desired results."

Dr. Dio Lewis, in his book titled "Chastity," writes about prenatal influences: "It's not an exaggeration to say that if a particular trade or profession seems especially appealing, the ability for success in that field can be passed on to the child through the right efforts before birth. The mother who consistently focuses on any specific subject during the nine months of pregnancy will definitely see the impact of her thoughts in her child. Attributes like physical beauty, mental strength, a sweet personality, and noble aspirations can be guaranteed to[Pg 283] future generations by parents who are wise and loving enough to follow the principles that lead to the desired outcomes."

Dr. Napheys, in writing upon the same subject, says: "What a charming idea is this! What an incentive, to those about to become mothers, to cultivate refinement, high thoughts, pure emotion, elevated sentiments!"

Dr. Napheys, writing on the same topic, says: "What a lovely idea this is! What an inspiration for those about to become mothers, to foster refinement, high thoughts, pure emotions, and lofty sentiments!"

The character and disposition of the children oftentimes indicate the influences which surrounded the mother during the months prior to their birth. The first-born is likely to resemble the father more closely than the children born later, because the bride is apt to have her thoughts dwell much upon her young husband. Those born during a period of financial prosperity are likely to be liberal, sometimes wasteful, and, possibly, spendthrifts. Those born during the years when means are scarce and economy is necessary are likely to be economical, and some even miserly.

The personality and behavior of children often reflect the influences that were around the mother in the months leading up to their birth. The first child tends to resemble the father more than later siblings because the mother is usually focused on her young husband. Children born during times of financial stability are often generous, sometimes even wasteful, and possibly extravagant. Conversely, those born during periods of scarcity and strict budgeting tend to be more frugal, with some even becoming stingy.

Prenatal influences are both subtle and potent, and no amount of wealth or learning or influence can secure exemption from them. No golden lock or jeweled hand can successfully hold the door against the admission of these influences. Medical science has done much to mend defects, alleviate suffering, patch up broken constitutions, and effect great improvements, but the greatest remains to be accomplished by remedying, as far as possible, the causes of these great evils by disseminating intelligence and inspiring parents and young[Pg 284] people with such knowledge and purposes as will prepare the way for the raising up of a superior generation. In this work the philanthropic physician occupies the place of greatest usefulness.

Prenatal influences are both subtle and powerful, and no amount of wealth, education, or influence can shield one from them. No amount of gold or jewels can effectively block these influences. Medical science has accomplished a lot in fixing defects, easing suffering, repairing damaged health, and making significant improvements, but the biggest task still lies ahead: addressing the root causes of these major issues by spreading knowledge and inspiring parents and young people with the understanding and goals needed to foster a better generation. In this effort, the compassionate physician plays the most important role.

Parents need to realize that the work of right-forming is greater than the work of reforming. The philanthropist who labors for the reformation of adults does well; those who give their energy and effort to the education and proper bringing up of children do better; but those who intelligently devote themselves to the proper formation of the body, character and disposition of those yet unborn do best of all. We are thoroughly orthodox upon the subject of human depravity, but we believe that persons may be so generated as to be the more easy subjects of regeneration. Or they may be so "conceived and born in sin" as manifestly to illustrate the declaration of the Psalmist: "The wicked are estranged from the womb; they go astray as soon as they are born."

Parents need to understand that shaping individuals is more important than just changing them. Philanthropists who work on reforming adults are doing good; those who invest their time and energy in educating and raising children are doing even better. However, those who wisely focus on properly developing the body, character, and temperament of those who are not yet born are doing the best of all. We fully believe in the concept of human depravity, but we also believe that some people can be raised in ways that make it easier for them to be transformed. Conversely, they can be conceived and born into sin, which clearly reflects the Psalmist's statement: "The wicked are estranged from the womb; they go astray as soon as they are born."

Before leaving this subject we desire to say a word which may be of comfort to any parents whose children may be born to them with some blemish or deformity. God has so equipped the mother-heart and the father-heart that they should love and care for those who are unattractive, or even unsightly. We recently heard of a mother whose child was born with a harelip, and, fearing lest the sight of the child might have a depressing effect upon the mother in her enfeebled condition, various excuses were made[Pg 285] to keep the child out of her sight for a period of several days. When evasions would avail no longer, and the mother was shown her child, after a momentary sense of disappointment she said: "Well, it is my child, and I can love it just the same."

Before we move on from this topic, we want to say something that might bring comfort to any parents whose children are born with some kind of flaw or deformity. God has equipped both mothers and fathers with the ability to love and care for those who may be unattractive or even unsightly. We recently heard about a mother whose child was born with a harelip, and out of concern that the sight of the child might upset her in her weakened state, several excuses were made[Pg 285] to keep the child away from her for a few days. When those excuses could no longer be maintained, and the mother was finally shown her child, she briefly felt disappointed but then said: "Well, it is my child, and I can love it just the same.'

It is also an encouragement to know that what are ordinarily called birthmarks generally diminish, and oftentimes disappear after a brief period. Dr. Russegger tells of a woman who in the seventh month of her pregnancy was bitten in the calf of her leg by a dog. At the moment of the accident she was somewhat alarmed, but neither then nor afterward had any fear that her child would be affected by the occurrence. Ten weeks later, when her child was born, there were marks upon the calf of its right leg resembling the impressions made by the dog's teeth upon the leg of the mother. The impressions of two of the teeth disappeared in five weeks, and the others gradually faded away. Similar results may be expected in most instances.

It's also reassuring to know that what we usually call birthmarks often fade away and sometimes completely disappear after a short time. Dr. Russegger shares the story of a woman who was bitten in the calf by a dog during her seventh month of pregnancy. She was a bit startled at the time, but she never worried that her child would be affected by it. Ten weeks later, when her baby was born, there were marks on the calf of its right leg that looked like the dog's teeth impressions on the mother's leg. The marks from two of the teeth disappeared in five weeks, and the others gradually faded over time. Similar outcomes can generally be expected in most cases.

There is one branch of the prenatal subject which has reference to determining the sex before birth, in which some persons, because of a predominance of either male or female children in their families, may naturally and properly have special interest. The desire of some parents for male children in preference to female children is both wrong and unworthy of that proper Christian regard in which woman should rightfully be held. In heathen countries, because of the hardships to which women[Pg 286] are subjected, the parents are often sad when a girl is born into the family; but in Christian lands, where the influences of the gospel have given woman her proper place and rightful recognition, the feeling which disparages the girl child, or would lead to a preference for male children to the exclusion of female children, is altogether wrong and unworthy of our Christian civilization.

There’s a part of the prenatal topic that involves figuring out the baby’s sex before birth, which some people may naturally be more interested in due to having mostly male or female children in their families. The desire of some parents to prefer sons over daughters is both misguided and unbecoming of the proper respect women deserve. In countries where women face great hardships, parents often feel disappointed when a girl is born into the family. However, in Christian communities, where the influence of the gospel has granted women their rightful status and recognition, the attitude that looks down on girls or favors boys over girls is completely wrong and not reflective of our Christian values.

It will readily be seen, from the effect of prenatal influences, that it would not be desirable, because of its effects upon the formation of the growing life within the mother's body, that she should allow her mind to dwell largely upon these subjects, or anxiously desire one sex in preference to another. Where such influences are exerted upon the embryo, a male child with an effeminate, girlish nature, or a female child with a boyish, masculine disposition, might be the result. While it is perfectly proper that parents should know what views are held by medical and scientific men upon these subjects, it is not best that the mother's mind should be influenced by the consideration of them during the period of gestation.

It’s clear that prenatal influences can have significant effects, so it’s not ideal for a mother to focus too much on these topics or to worry about preferring one sex over another. If such influences affect the developing fetus, it could lead to a male child with a sensitive, feminine nature or a female child with a rough, masculine temperament. While it's absolutely important for parents to understand the opinions of medical and scientific experts on these matters, it’s not helpful for the mother to let these concerns affect her mindset during pregnancy.

The influences which control and determine sex are so subtle, and have hitherto so thoroughly evaded human investigation and study, that little or no reliance can be placed upon any of the theories. Of the vast number of theories, many are ludicrous, some are exact contraries of others, a few seem plausible, while none have been found infallible, or even reliable.[Pg 287]

The factors that influence and determine sex are so subtle and have so far eluded human investigation and study that we can't really trust any of the theories. Among the many theories, some are ridiculous, some directly contradict others, a few seem reasonable, but none have proven to be foolproof or even dependable.[Pg 287]

Some have held that the phases of the moon at the period of conception controlled and determined the sex of the offspring. Others have held that the season of the year when the ovum is produced and fertilized determines the result. This theory makes it largely a question of temperature and climate. The theory which has had many advocates is one that contends that the question of sex is largely determined by the question of food prior to conception and during the period of gestation. By persons who hold this theory it is maintained that during periods of prosperity and plenty the number of girl children preponderate, and that during periods of adversity, and when food is less abundant, the majority of those who are born are boys. Another theory which has been often repeated, and as often disproved, is that the sex of the offspring is determined by the side of the reproductive system engaged in the production of the ovum, and of the sperm; that if the generative glands upon the right side of the body of the mother and of the father are engaged, a male child is the result; but if the left sides are engaged, the result is a girl. This theory maintains that the ovum which proceeds from the right ovary results in the formation of the body of a male child, while those that proceed from the left ovary result in the production of a female child. That this theory is not reliable has often been demonstrated in instances where the right or the left ovary of the woman has been removed by surgical opera[Pg 288]tion, and she has subsequently become the mother both of male and of female offspring. The same is true with regard to fathers who have, by accident or disease, lost one of the testes, and have subsequently become the fathers of both boys and girls.

Some believe that the phases of the moon at the time of conception control and determine the sex of the baby. Others argue that the season of the year when the egg is produced and fertilized decides the outcome. This theory suggests it's mainly about temperature and climate. Another popular theory claims that the sex is largely influenced by the diet before conception and during pregnancy. Those who support this theory argue that during times of abundance and prosperity, more girls are born, while during tough times with less food, more boys are born. Another repeatedly stated, but often disproved theory, is that the sex of the child depends on which side of the reproductive system is involved in producing the egg and the sperm; if the right side of the mother and father are involved, a boy is born; if the left sides are involved, a girl is produced. This theory asserts that an egg from the right ovary leads to a boy, while one from the left ovary leads to a girl. However, this theory has been shown to be unreliable in cases where a woman has had one of her ovaries surgically removed and has gone on to have both male and female children. The same is true for fathers who have lost one testicle due to injury or illness and have later fathered both sons and daughters.

Another theory which has received considerable attention is that the ova, liberated from month to month, alternate in gender. That one month the ovum is of that character which would result in the production of a male child, and the succeeding month of such a nature as would result in the production of a female child. Some hold that the respective ages of the parents have something to do with determining the question of the sex of their offspring; that where the father is older than the mother, female children are likely to predominate. Some hold that the superior vitality of the father, or of the mother, will result in the production of sex of their own kind. Some persons who have given attention and study to this subject teach exactly the reverse of these two theories.

Another theory that has gained a lot of attention is that the eggs released every month alternate in gender. One month, the egg might be of a type that leads to having a male child, and the next month, it could be of a type that results in a female child. Some people believe that the ages of the parents play a role in determining the sex of their children; for example, when the father is older than the mother, female children are more likely to be born. Others think that the stronger vitality of either the father or the mother will influence the sex of their offspring. Some individuals who have studied this topic argue the exact opposite of these two theories.

The theory which has been largely accepted by intelligent medical authorities is that children conceived in from two to six days after the cessation of the menses are generally girls, and that those conceived in from nine to twelve days after the cessation of the menses are boys—or, in other words, that those begotten in the earlier period after the cessation of the monthly period of the mother are likely to be girls, and those begotten in the later period are likely to be boys.[Pg 289]

The widely accepted theory among knowledgeable medical experts is that children conceived two to six days after a woman's period usually turn out to be girls, while those conceived nine to twelve days after are typically boys. In other words, children conceived earlier in the menstrual cycle are more likely to be girls, and those conceived later are more likely to be boys.[Pg 289]

There are many theories, some of which seem altogether fanciful, if not silly—such as that the sex of the child is determined by the side of the bed upon which the father sleeps, whether the bed is situated so that the persons lie with their heads toward the north or some other point of the compass. Knowing the natural curiosity of not a few persons upon such subjects, and the abnormal desire of some parents for children of one or the other sex, there are not a few impostors who offer to furnish information upon these subjects at a costly price. The methods proposed are sometimes innocent, and may be without injury, while in many other instances the suggestions are debasing, likely to produce injurious results, and never reliable. While the desired sex may be determined in harmony with natural laws, the parents may give all the credit to the impostor, if Nature has brought them a child of the sex they have desired. It would scarcely seem necessary to advise intelligent people against the impositions of such ignorant pretenders.

There are many theories, some of which seem completely absurd, if not ridiculous—like the idea that the sex of the child is determined by which side of the bed the father sleeps on or whether the bed is oriented with the heads pointing north or some other direction. Given the natural curiosity of some people about these topics and the strong desire of certain parents for children of a specific sex, there are quite a few frauds who claim to provide information on these matters for a steep price. The proposed methods can sometimes be harmless and pose no risk, but in many cases, the suggestions are degrading, likely to lead to harmful outcomes, and never dependable. While the desired sex might be influenced by natural laws, parents often credit the fraudster if Nature gives them a child of the sex they wanted. It hardly seems necessary to warn smart people against the tricks of such ignorant con artists.

The entire subject has been wrapped in a mystery hitherto impenetrable. No investigation has yet been able to secure from Nature her secret concerning this matter. It is very possible that the Creator of mankind has purposely placed this knowledge beyond human reach, and left the regulation of this important matter wholly to His own infinite decrees.

The whole topic has been shrouded in an impenetrable mystery. No inquiry has been able to extract from Nature her secrets regarding this issue. It’s quite possible that the Creator of humanity has intentionally kept this knowledge out of our reach and has entrusted the management of this crucial matter entirely to His infinite decisions.


CHAPTER XIX.

CHILDHOOD.

While it is possibly true that the most potent molding influences may be exerted prior to the birth of the child, yet where parents have lacked the intelligence to avail themselves of the largest and best results in this respect, or discover defects after their children are born, there still remains an opportunity for them. They can in some measure retrieve lost opportunities, correct defects, supply deficiencies, and even accomplish wonderful results in the training and development of their children. "As the twig is bent the tree is inclined." If the twig is crooked, if taken very early it may be straightened; but it is far better that the twig should be straight at first, and without the necessity of being straightened. It is better that children should be born without defects, rather than that there should be the necessity of correcting these mistakes; but as a straight twig may be bent to its permanent and incurable injury, so a child, properly nurtured and well-born, may be injured or totally ruined, mentally, morally or physically, by deficient or defective training during its childhood.

While it may be true that the biggest influences in shaping a child happen before they are born, if parents haven’t taken the time to make the best choices in this regard or recognize issues after their children are born, there’s still a chance for them to improve things. They can somewhat make up for lost time, fix problems, fill in gaps, and even achieve amazing results in raising and developing their children. "As the twig is bent, the tree is inclined." If the twig is bent, it can be straightened if addressed early; however, it’s much better for the twig to be straight from the start without needing adjustments. It’s preferable for children to be born free of flaws than to have to correct those mistakes later on; yet, just as a straight twig can be permanently bent to its detriment, a well-nurtured and healthy child can also experience serious or total damage—mentally, morally, or physically—due to poor or flawed upbringing during their childhood.

There are many excellent books upon the nurture and training of children, and young parents would do well to avail themselves of[Pg 291] the advantages and excellent suggestions afforded by such publications. There are also many excellent periodicals for young parents, such as "The New Crusade," "Trained Motherhood," "The Mothers' Journal," and others, which are very valuable and almost indispensable. From such books and periodicals young parents can obtain the best of suggestions with regard to the early care, proper nurture and careful training of their little ones. We cannot now dwell upon any of the many important phases of child-training. Space only affords opportunity to emphasize some things which seem to us of special importance and likely to be overlooked.

There are many great books on raising and educating children, and new parents would benefit from taking advantage of the insights and valuable advice offered by these publications. There are also numerous helpful magazines for young parents, like "The New Crusade," "Trained Motherhood," "The Mothers' Journal," and others, which are extremely useful and almost essential. From these books and magazines, new parents can gather the best advice regarding the early care, proper upbringing, and thoughtful training of their little ones. We can't go into detail about the many important aspects of child-rearing right now. We only have space to highlight a few things that we believe are especially important and may easily be overlooked.

Many young parents think that the training of their children will be a matter for consideration when they are three or four years old. No more serious mistake can possibly be made. The first three months will determine the babyhood, and the first two years the childhood, and the childhood will determine the manhood or womanhood. The first two years may almost be said to determine both the character and the destiny of the child for all time to come. The child that is not properly taught during the first two years is likely to remain untaught, undisciplined, uncontrolled, and oftentimes uncontrollable, for the remainder of its childhood and throughout its entire life.

Many young parents believe that training their children is something to focus on when they’re around three or four years old. This is a serious mistake. The first three months will shape infancy, and the first two years will shape childhood, which in turn affects adulthood. The first two years can be said to establish both the character and the destiny of the child for the rest of their life. A child who isn’t properly taught during those first two years is likely to stay uneducated, undisciplined, uncontrolled, and often uncontrollable for the rest of their childhood and throughout their entire life.

The questions of the hours of feeding, the hours for sleep; whether the child is to be rocked, or carried when it whimpers—all these[Pg 292] are questions of the utmost importance from the very beginning. Many a mother has been enslaved for life because of the mistakes which she made during the first few weeks after her child was born.

The questions about feeding times, sleeping hours; whether to rock the baby or carry them when they cry—these[Pg 292] are incredibly important from the very start. Many mothers have been trapped for life because of the mistakes they made in the first few weeks after their baby was born.

Parents should protect their children against the silly and dangerous habit of being promiscuously kissed. The prevalent custom of kissing babies and children is not only silly upon the part of those who do it, but a nuisance to the child, and in many instances detrimental to the health of the child. Where promiscuous kissing is allowed, persons with offensive breath, consumptive tendencies, contagious and even loathsome diseases, may unintentionally inflict irreparable wrong upon both the child and its parents. Only the other day we read in a medical journal where a young child of poor parents who kept a boarding-house was kissed by one of the boarders, who communicated to the child one of the most loathsome of diseases. Such dangers exist not only among the poor, but are perhaps even more prevalent among the affluent, in the circle of whose acquaintances there is likely to be some well-dressed but vicious and corrupt individual.

Parents should protect their children from the silly and dangerous habit of being kissed by anyone and everyone. The common practice of kissing babies and children is not just foolish for those who do it, but also annoying for the child, and often harmful to their health. When random kissing is allowed, people with bad breath, respiratory issues, contagious diseases, or even serious infections can unintentionally do lasting harm to both the child and their parents. Just recently, we read in a medical journal about a young child from a low-income family who lived in a boarding house and was kissed by one of the boarders, resulting in the child contracting a terrible disease. These risks aren't limited to low-income families; they may even be more common among the wealthy, who might have acquaintances that include well-dressed but dangerous and corrupt individuals.

Let no care or proper expense be spared in making the influences which are exerted in the nursery both attractive and potent. Young parents should be their children's best playfellows. There should be a proper amount of games, carefully-selected amusements, books, papers, pictures chosen with scrupulous care,[Pg 293] and mother and mother's influence in the midst of them all. What the child needs pre-eminently above playthings, books, clothes, and every other earthly thing, is the presence and influence of mother. No other woman in the world can take her place. Many mothers farm their children out to nurses, and then give themselves to household duties, social pleasures, or possibly to duties which may be important in themselves, but which, after all, can only be secondary to the discharge of the all-important duties of motherhood.

Let no effort or expense be spared in creating an environment in the nursery that is both appealing and impactful. Young parents should be their children's favorite playmates. There should be an appropriate variety of games, carefully chosen activities, books, magazines, and pictures selected with great care,[Pg 293] along with the mother and her influence at the center of it all. What a child truly needs, more than toys, books, clothing, or any other material items, is the presence and influence of their mother. No other woman in the world can replace her. Many mothers delegate their children to caregivers and then focus on household responsibilities, social activities, or even important tasks, but ultimately, these can only be secondary to fulfilling the essential duties of motherhood.

Many otherwise excellent women find the nursery a prison, and the care of their own children irksome, simply because they have a perverted mother-sense. The mother should have proper relief from the care of her children, but if she has the true mother-heart the companionship of her children will be the society which she will prefer above that of all others.

Many otherwise amazing women feel trapped in the nursery, and taking care of their own kids becomes annoying, simply because they have a skewed view of motherhood. A mother should have the right support to help with her children, but if she genuinely feels like a mother, she will prefer the company of her kids over anyone else.

Where servants are necessary, and such cases do exist, parents should exercise the utmost caution in guarding the purity of their children. Hundreds, and we can properly say thousands, of children are annually wronged and ruined by the vices practiced upon them by servants. This is an especial danger where nurses and servants are permitted to undress the child and put it to bed at night. Many a nurse who is anxious to quiet her little charge, that it may fall asleep promptly, is guilty of exciting sensations which quiet the child and prevent its crying, but which inflict upon the nervous sys[Pg 294]tem of an infant results of the most far-reaching character. Mothers are very apt to be unsuspecting in these matters, and therefore it is highly important that the attention of fathers should be called to this grave danger.

Wherever servants are needed, and such situations do occur, parents should be extremely careful in protecting the innocence of their children. Hundreds, and we might even say thousands, of children are harmed and destroyed each year by the vices inflicted upon them by servants. This is especially dangerous when caregivers and servants are allowed to undress the child and put them to bed at night. Many caregivers, eager to soothe their little charge so they can fall asleep quickly, may inadvertently stir feelings that calm the child and stop their crying, but which can have deeply harmful effects on an infant's nervous system. Mothers often tend to be unaware of these issues, so it’s crucial for fathers to be made aware of this serious danger.

The child should also be protected against being frightened, being made afraid in the dark, told of spooks, bugaboos, "the old beggar-man" and the police coming for them. Remember, also, that in this most impressible period of character-formation servants and others can do the child great injury by teaching it to be deceitful and untruthful. It is at this age, also, that they learn incorrect and ungrammatical forms of expression; and if the nurse-girl is ignorant and silly, and is permitted to assemble upon the streets or in the park, with others of her age, while tending the child, a bright child of two or three years will pick up more coarseness and more undesirable information concerning human depravity than can be expunged from its mind by subsequent months and years of careful training.

The child should also be protected from being scared, especially in the dark, and from stories about ghosts, monsters, "the old beggar-man", and warnings about the police coming for them. It's important to remember that during this highly impressionable period of character development, caregivers and others can cause the child great harm by teaching them to be deceitful and dishonest. It's at this age that they also learn incorrect and ungrammatical ways of speaking; if the nanny is uneducated and foolish, and is allowed to hang out on the streets or in the park with others her age while looking after the child, a smart child of two or three will pick up more coarse and undesirable information about human wrongdoing than can be removed from their mind by months and years of careful teaching later on.

It is important to enjoin upon parents the duty of guarding their children against secret vice. Parents are very apt to think that while other children might be guilty of such sins, their own children are "too innocent and too pure" to fall into such vices. We have known mothers to hold up their hands in holy horror at such a suggestion, but when the more cautious fathers have watched their children, they have discovered that even at the age of five and six their[Pg 295] little boys have learned from older playmates, impure companions, degraded servants, or by sliding down the balustrade, or in some other incidental way, the terrible habit of self-pollution. Young children cannot be too carefully guarded in this important matter. Where infants exhibit a tendency to handle their private parts, great care should be given to the cleanliness of those parts, and, if continued, the family physician should be consulted, to see whether circumcision is not necessary to remove local irritation and inflammation. This is found to be necessary in many instances. Circumcision was an important sanitary regulation among the Israelites, is a simple surgical operation which is most beneficial in its results, and very important in many instances.

It's crucial to emphasize to parents the responsibility of protecting their children from hidden vices. Parents often think that while other kids might engage in such behaviors, their own children are "too innocent and pure" to get involved. We've seen mothers react with shock at such ideas, but when more cautious fathers pay close attention to their kids, they find that even at ages five and six, their little boys have picked up the terrible habit of self-stimulation from older playmates, inappropriate companions, or through some incidental means like sliding down the bannister. Young children need to be monitored closely in this critical area. If infants show a tendency to touch their private parts, special care should be taken with hygiene, and if the behavior persists, a family doctor should be consulted to determine if circumcision is necessary to address any local irritation and inflammation. In many cases, this procedure is needed. Circumcision has been an important health practice among the Israelites; it's a simple surgical procedure that can be very beneficial and important in many situations.

When your children are old enough to ask honest questions, see that, in reply, they receive an honest answer. If a child is intelligent and thoughtful, one of the earliest inquiries will be concerning the origin of life. When a little one is born into your own or another household, it is only natural and proper that intelligent children should inquire where it came from. There should be no fables about babies being brought by doctors, or being found under cabbage-leaves, or taken from hollow stumps in the woods, for an intelligent and altogether satisfactory answer can be given to an intelligent child of six or seven years, and even younger. Another has aptly and truthfully said: "Ignorance is a deadly sin. The truth properly told[Pg 296] has never yet harmed a child; silence, false modesty and mystery have corrupted the souls and bodies of untold millions." Where parents are intelligent upon this subject, and know how to present these matters properly to the thought of their children, we have never heard of a child who asked an embarrassing question, nor have we known of anything but the most satisfactory and blessed results. Parents will find beautiful and helpful suggestions in "Teaching Truth" and "Child Confidence Rewarded," two booklets by Mary Wood-Allen, M.D.; and it was also to aid parents in these matters that "What a Young Boy Ought to Know" and "What a Young Girl Ought to Know" were written. Parents should read these books and learn how to communicate the information, either in conversation or by reading to the child such portions as are suited to its needs. Remember that the disposition which prompts your child to keep an unclean thing a secret from you will also incline the child to refrain from conversation upon a pure matter which is to be a secret between parent and child. If you allow others to teach your child sacred truths in an unhallowed way, if you decline to give your children an honest answer to their honest and reasonable inquiries, they will secure in its degrading form, from vicious companions or ignorant servants, the information they seek. It is infinitely easier to keep the mind of the child pure than to purify it after it has been polluted. When corrupting thoughts[Pg 297] and degrading pictures have been painted upon the canvas of the mind, they can never be totally obliterated.

When your kids are old enough to ask genuine questions, make sure they get a straight answer in return. If a child is smart and thoughtful, one of the first questions they’ll ask will be about where life comes from. When a baby is born into your family or someone else's, it's completely normal and reasonable for curious kids to want to know about it. There shouldn’t be any myths about babies being brought by doctors, found under cabbage leaves, or taken from hollow stumps in the woods, because a clear and satisfying answer can be given to an intelligent child as young as six or seven, or even younger. As someone wisely put it: "Ignorance is a deadly sin. The truth, when properly shared, has never harmed a child; silence, false modesty, and mystery have corrupted countless souls and bodies." When parents are knowledgeable about this topic and know how to talk about these matters appropriately with their kids, we’ve never heard about a child asking an uncomfortable question, and we know only of positive and blessed outcomes. Parents will find wonderful and helpful ideas in "Teaching Truth" and "Child Confidence Rewarded," two booklets by Mary Wood-Allen, M.D.; and "What a Young Boy Ought to Know" and "What a Young Girl Ought to Know" were also created to help parents discuss these topics. Parents should read these books and learn how to share this information, either through conversation or by reading to their child sections that fit their needs. Remember that the tendency to keep something shameful a secret from you will also make the child reluctant to talk about a pure matter that should stay between parent and child. If you let others teach your child sacred truths in an inappropriate way, or if you refuse to give them honest answers to their reasonable questions, they will get the information they seek in a degrading form from harmful friends or uninformed caregivers. It is far easier to keep a child's mind pure than to try to cleanse it after it has been tainted. Once corrupt thoughts and degrading images have been painted on their mind's canvas, they can never be completely erased.

When your child approaches the age of puberty, the little boy becomes awkward, his voice breaks, the down starts upon his upper lip, he becomes bashful and shrinking. At that trying period, when so many take special pleasure in taunting and tantalizing—at that period of special stress when the boy and the girl pre-eminently need tenderness—see to it that your children are protected against the wrongs to which others are subjected. This is the period in the life of the boy and the girl when they are not able to understand themselves or to interpret life to their own satisfaction, and then it is that they should be made intelligent upon the conditions which attend the transition from childhood, and indicate the approach of manhood and womanhood. It is then that the books in the series for boys and girls will be found especially indispensable, and in due time, according to the judgment of the parents, should be followed by the book addressed to young men or to young women.

When your child gets to the age of puberty, the little boy becomes awkward, his voice cracks, he starts to get a little hair on his upper lip, and he becomes shy and reserved. During this challenging time, when many take pleasure in teasing and provoking, this period of heightened stress when boys and girls really need kindness, make sure your children are protected from the wrongs that others may face. This is the time in their lives when they struggle to understand themselves and make sense of life, and it's crucial they learn about the changes that come with moving from childhood into adolescence, marking the start of becoming a man or a woman. It's during this time that the books in the series for boys and girls will be especially important, and, at the right time, as decided by the parents, they should be followed by books aimed at young men or young women.

Look carefully after the education of your children. Remember that the picture-book, the nursery-song, the evening prayer, the family music, the walk, the ride, the hasty word, the thoughtful counsel, are all helping to educate your child. Know what books they read. Be sure that in the public schools they sit under the instruction of no one who insinuates doubt[Pg 298] or destroys the careful and sacred instruction of the home. When evening comes and evil lurks for the destruction of the young, gather your children about you in your home. Make home attractive to them. Let it be the centre and source of that which is to inspire them to noble manhood and exalted womanhood. Regard nothing as expensive which will contribute to make your children pure and good and great.

Look closely after your children's education. Remember that the picture books, nursery rhymes, evening prayers, family music, walks, rides, hurried words, and thoughtful advice all contribute to shaping your child. Know what books they read. Ensure that in public schools, they're not influenced by anyone who raises doubts or undermines the careful and sacred lessons from home. When evening arrives and potential dangers threaten the youth, bring your children together in your home. Make your home inviting for them. Let it be the center and source of inspiration for them to grow into honorable men and distinguished women. Consider nothing too costly that helps make your children pure, good, and great.

That your children may be guarded against the errors which come from sleeping with other children, neither at home nor elsewhere should they share their beds with others.

That your children are protected from the mistakes that come from sleeping with other kids, they shouldn’t share their beds with others at home or anywhere else.

Look well to the physical culture of your children. If physical culture has no place in your school, see that the attention of directors and teachers is called to this important matter. Encourage your children to use the gymnasium of the Young Men's Christian Association, or some other organization that similarly maintains the strictest purity and the highest moral standards. Teach or have your children taught those forms of gymnastics that require no appurtenances; supply them with a pair of dumb-bells weighing a pound or two each. Furnish the nursery with some Exerciser of approved pattern, with preference for one which can be adjusted to the needs of either adults or children. Encourage them in out-of-door sports; see that their sleeping-rooms are well ventilated; encourage them to desire to be strong and well. Teach them to govern their appetites; regulate[Pg 299] their lives so as to secure the best health and the best physical and intellectual powers.

Look after your children's physical fitness. If physical fitness isn't part of your school's curriculum, make sure the principals and teachers are made aware of its importance. Encourage your kids to use the gym at the Young Men's Christian Association or any other organization that upholds strict purity and high moral standards. Teach them or arrange for them to learn gymnastics that don't require any equipment; get them a pair of dumbbells weighing one or two pounds each. Equip the nursery with a suitable Exerciser, preferably one that can be adjusted for both adults and kids. Motivate them to participate in outdoor sports; ensure their bedrooms are well-ventilated; and inspire them to want to be strong and healthy. Teach them to control their appetites; organize their lives to promote the best health and maximize their physical and mental abilities.

In the culture of the intellectual and the physical do not forget the moral training of your children. Among the books and the papers, see that there is a good supply of those of a religious character. Teach your children to want right things, and to have pleasure in doing good. Make a faithful use of the Sunday-school and of the Church. Let their place in the family pew from early childhood be regularly filled; provide them with a hymnbook, see that they have something for the collection, teach them to be reverent. If, in early life, your children are religiously inclined, do not make the fatal mistake of standing between them and their union with the Church. Do not say: "Oh! they are too young fully to understand what it all means." Who is old enough to understand all the mysteries of Divine grace? It is enough for us to know that Jesus welcomes and saves the children, as well as older people. Polycarp was converted at nine years of age; Matthew Henry at eleven; President Edwards at seven; Dr. Watts at nine; Bishop Hall at seven, and Robert Hall at twelve.

In the culture of both intellect and physical activity, don’t overlook the moral upbringing of your kids. Alongside the books and materials, ensure there's a solid selection of religious texts. Teach your children to desire the right things and find joy in doing good. Make good use of Sunday school and the Church. Let their spot in the family pew be regularly occupied from a young age; give them a hymn book, ensure they have something for the collection, and teach them to be respectful. If your children show a religious inclination early on, don’t make the mistake of getting in the way of their joining the Church. Don’t say, "Oh! they're too young to fully grasp what it all means." Who is truly old enough to understand all the mysteries of Divine grace? It's enough for us to know that Jesus welcomes and saves children, just like He does with adults. Polycarp was converted at nine; Matthew Henry at eleven; President Edwards at seven; Dr. Watts at nine; Bishop Hall at seven, and Robert Hall at twelve.

And now we have come to the place where author and reader must part. Taking your hand in a final grasp, we can only look into your face and assure you that if, as a young husband, you rightly estimate the sacredness of marriage; if you bring to it that purity,[Pg 300] honor and sanctity which you rightly expect upon the part of your wife; if you rightly use its privileges, and are ready to exercise such personal restraints as shall secure to both parties the largest present pleasure and permanent happiness, you will then obtain the benediction and blessings which marriage and home and parentage have to bestow.

And now we’ve reached the point where the author and reader must say goodbye. Taking your hand for one last grasp, we can only look into your face and assure you that if, as a young husband, you truly understand the sacredness of marriage; if you approach it with the purity,[Pg 300] honor, and sanctity that you correctly expect from your wife; if you responsibly enjoy its benefits and are willing to exercise the self-control needed to ensure both partners experience the greatest joy and lasting happiness, you will then receive the blessings and rewards that marriage, home, and parenthood have to offer.

THE END.

THE END.



IN THE UNITED STATES

IN THE U.S.

THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY

THE VIR PUBLISHING CO.

2237 Land Title Building

2237 Land Title Building

PHILADELPHIA, PA.

PHILADELPHIA, PA.


IN ENGLAND

IN THE UK

THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY

VIR Publishing Company

7 Imperial Arcade, Ludgate Circus

7 Imperial Arcade, Ludgate Circus

LONDON, E. C.

LONDON, EC


IN CANADA

In Canada

WILLIAM BRIGGS

WILLIAM BRIGGS

29-33 Richmond Street West

29-33 Richmond St W

TORONTO, ONTARIO

TORONTO, ON


Commendations from Eminent Men and Women





What a Young Husband Ought to Know

What Eminent People in America Say.

What Prominent Figures in America Are Saying.


CHARLES M. SHELDON, D.D.

Author of "In His Steps," "Crucifixion of Philip Strong,"
"My Brother's Keeper," and more,
Topeka, Kansas.

"I take pleasure in adding my word of commendation for the spirit and purpose of your book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' which I have received and read. I believe the book will do great good, and I hope its message may be used for the bettering of the homes of the world."

"I’m pleased to add my praise for the spirit and purpose of your book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' which I’ve received and read. I believe the book will greatly benefit many, and I hope its message can help improve homes around the world."


What Eminent People in England Say.

What Influential People in England Are Saying.


REV. F. B. MEYER, B.A.

Minister of Christ Church, Westminster, London, Author of
"Israel, A Prince with God," "Elijah: Tested by
Fire," "The Bells of Is," and more.

"The questions which are dealt with in the 'Self and Sex Series' of books are always being asked, and if the answer is not forthcoming from pure and wise lips it will be obtained through vicious and empirical channels. I therefore greatly commend this series of manuals, which are written lucidly and purely, and will afford the necessary information without pandering to unholy and sensual passion. There has been, in my judgment, too much reticence on the whole of this subject, and nameless sins have originated in ignorance or in the directions given to young life by vicious men. I should like to see a wide and judicious distribution of this literature among Christian circles."

"The questions addressed in the 'Self and Sex Series' of books are constantly being asked, and if the answers don’t come from knowledgeable and trustworthy sources, people will seek them through unhealthy and misguided means. I strongly support this series of manuals, which are written clearly and ethically, providing the necessary information without encouraging immoral and lustful desires. In my view, there has been too much hesitance surrounding this topic, and many unspoken issues have arisen from ignorance or from the harmful advice given by unprincipled individuals. I would love to see a broad and thoughtful distribution of this literature within Christian communities."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Influential People in America Are Saying.


Honorable S. M. Jones

Mayor of Toledo, Ohio.

"I have taken the time out of a very hurried week to look over your book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' and it seems to me that it is a work that has been prepared with great care and discrimination. I have often thought that this work is one that some heart inspired by love of humanity should undertake. I am glad to say that my study of it indicates that you have been led by a pure love for your kind to write one of the most helpful and valuable books that it has been my privilege to see in many days."

"I took some time out of a very busy week to read your book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' and I believe it’s a work that has been created with great care and thoughtfulness. I’ve often thought that this kind of work should be done by someone with a genuine love for humanity. I’m happy to say that my reading shows you’ve been driven by a sincere love for people to write one of the most helpful and valuable books I've had the privilege to see in a long time."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Famous People in America Say.


EDWARD BOK.

Editor of "Ladies' Home Journal."

"You have accomplished in doing, in your little book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' exactly what you have set out to do, it seems to me, and I know of no book of its kind which exhales to the same degree, and so unerringly, the candid, pure and exalted purpose of the writer. It is an honest little book, and every young married man who reads it cannot fail to be helped by it, and helped materially. There are books, three times the size, which do not begin to have one-third of the common sense in them that your little book has."

"You have achieved exactly what you aimed for in your little book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know.' I don't know of any book like it that expresses the writer's sincere, pure, and noble intentions as clearly as yours does. It's an honest little book, and every young married man who reads it will undoubtedly find it helpful, and in a significant way. There are books three times the length that don't contain even a fraction of the common sense that your little book offers."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Influential People in America Are Saying.


MRS. HELEN CAMPBELL.

Dean of the Department of Household Economics at Kansas State Agricultural College; author of "Prisoners of Poverty," "Some Passages in the Life of Dr. Martha Scarborough," and more.

"It meets the strongest need for the mass of young men, who have failed most of them, to receive the training outlined in the books for boys—who are ignorant utterly as to just their own degree of responsibility, and who will find in your careful statement of the problem as a whole, not only invaluable direction, but a guarantee of healthier and happier life for both husband and wife."

"It fulfills the greatest need for the majority of young men, many of whom have struggled, to get the training laid out in the books for boys—who are completely unaware of their own level of responsibility, and who will discover in your thorough explanation of the overall problem not only invaluable guidance but also a promise of a healthier and happier life for both partners."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Influential People in America Are Saying.


MRS. MAY WRIGHT SEWALL.

President of the Girls' Classical School; President of the
International Council of Women.

"I feel sure that the book which you have had the privilege to write must do every young man good who reads it. To inculcate in society this sound view that knowledge upon these subjects is not only compatible with delicacy, but requisite to it, is one of the most important contemporary duties of teachers, whether in the pulpit, on the rostrum, in the sanctum, or in the class-room."

"I am confident that the book you’ve had the opportunity to write will benefit every young man who reads it. Promoting the idea that knowledge on these topics is not only compatible with sensitivity, but essential to it, is one of the most important responsibilities of teachers today, whether in the church, at public speaking events, in private discussions, or in the classroom."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Influential People in America Are Saying.


HERRICK JOHNSON, D.D., LL.D.

Professor at McCormick Theological Seminary in Chicago.
Author of "Plain Talks about the Theatre," "Revivals,
Their Place and Power," "Christianity's
Challenge," and more.

"I have just laid down your book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' after a very interested perusal of it. The rare discrimination and delicate sense displayed in the handling of your theme are especially commendable. To say a bold courageous thing on a confessedly delicate subject, without any offence to true modesty, is a fine achievement. All manhood and womanhood ought to thank you."

"I just finished your book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' after reading it with great interest. The unique insight and sensitive approach you took in addressing the topic are truly admirable. Addressing a sensitive subject boldly and courageously, while still respecting genuine modesty, is quite an accomplishment. Everyone, both men and women, should be grateful to you."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Prominent Figures in America Are Saying.


BISHOP JOHN H. VINCENT, D.D., LL.D.

Chancellor of the Chautauqua Literary and Scientific Circle;
Author of "Sunday School Institutes and Normal
Classes," "The Church School and Its
Officers," and more.

"In a straightforward, clean, kind, clear and convincing way you discuss the 'Young Husband' question. A copy ought to go with every marriage certificate. The book is timely and full of wisdom."

"In a simple, clear, kind, and persuasive way, you address the 'Young Husband' issue. A copy should come with every marriage certificate. The book is relevant and full of insights."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Famous People in America Are Saying.


FRANCIS E. CLARKE, D.D.

Founder of the Young People's Society of Christian Endeavor,
and President of the United Society.

"I regard Dr. Stall's latest book as equal to the others in its delicate but plain-spoken chapters concerning the facts the men to whom it is addressed ought to know. I hope it will have a wide circulation."

"I consider Dr. Stall's latest book to be just as good as the others, with its sensitive yet straightforward chapters about the information that the men it targets need to understand. I hope it reaches a large audience."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Influential People in America Have to Say.


JOSIAH STRONG, D.D.

President of the League for Social Service; Author of "Our
Country," "New Era," "The Twentieth Century
City," and more.

"'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' like the earlier books of the series, is judicious in its selection of topics and wise in its treatment of them. Your admirable work will enable many young husbands to learn what they ought to know without paying the high tuition fee exacted in the school of experience."

"'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' like the earlier books in the series, is careful in its choice of topics and thoughtful in how it addresses them. Your excellent work will help many young husbands understand what they need to know without having to pay the steep price of the school of experience."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Influential People in America Are Saying.


MRS. FRANCES SHELDON BOLTON.

Editor of "Mothers' Journal;" Author of "Baby" and
Other Books.

"What a vast amount of suffering and wretchedness would be prevented, and how many happy homes could be saved, if all young men before they are married would read and profit by Dr. Sylvanus Stall's book, entitled 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know.'"

"What a huge amount of suffering and misery could be avoided, and how many happy homes could be preserved, if all young men read and learned from Dr. Sylvanus Stall's book, titled 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' before they get married."


What Eminent People in America Say.

What Influential People in America Say.


EMILY S. BOUTON.

Author of "Health and Beauty," "Social Etiquette," "House
and Domestic Decorations," "Life's Gateways
and How to Achieve True Success," etc.

"It is much to find a writer who may touch upon these subjects with a strong, firm, true, and yet delicate pen; and you are doing good service to humanity by such work. I am indeed glad to know that your former works have been so highly commended, and where such commendation will do great good."

"It’s rare to find a writer who can address these topics with a strong, genuine, yet sensitive approach; and your work is truly beneficial to humanity. I’m really pleased to hear your previous works have been so well praised, as that kind of recognition will do a lot of good."


REV. NEWELL DWIGHT HILLIS.

Pastor of Plymouth Church, Brooklyn, N. Y., and author of
"The Investment of Influence," "A Man's
Value to Society," etc.

REV. NEWELL DWIGHT HILLIS.

Pastor of Plymouth Church, Brooklyn, NY, and author of
"The Investment of Influence," "A Man's
Value to Society," etc.

"I have read your book with care and interest. It is a wholesome and helpful contribution to a most difficult subject, and its reading will help to make the American home happier and more safely guarded."

"I have read your book carefully and with interest. It is a valuable and supportive addition to a very challenging topic, and reading it will help make the American home happier and more secure."


HOWARD A. KELLY, M.D.

Professor of Gynecology and Obstetrics Johns Hopkins
University, Baltimore, Md.

HOWARD A. KELLY, M.D.

Professor of Gynecology and Obstetrics, Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, MD.

"The book 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know' can be heartily recommended. It handles in a plain but delicate and reverential manner subjects that should be thoroughly understood by every adult man, but which often are first learned by him through bitter experience. If the knowledge contained in it were more generally diffused, many sad duties left for the physician would become unnecessary."

The book 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know' comes highly recommended. It addresses important topics in a straightforward yet respectful way that every adult man should truly understand, even though many often learn them the hard way. If more people had access to this knowledge, countless unfortunate responsibilities that fall to doctors could be avoided.


LEMUEL BOLTON BANGS, M.D.

Professor Genito-Urinary Surgery in the N. Y. Post-Graduate
Medical School; Consulting Surgeon to St. Luke's
Hospital and to the Methodist Episcopal
Hospital, Brooklyn; Surgeon to the
City Hospital, N. Y.

LEMUEL BOLTON BANGS, M.D.

Professor of Genito-Urinary Surgery at the N. Y. Post-Graduate
Medical School; Consulting Surgeon at St. Luke's
Hospital and at the Methodist Episcopal
Hospital, Brooklyn; Surgeon at the
City Hospital, N. Y.

"I have recommended it to a good many old as well as 'young' husbands, and am satisfied of its usefulness to them. I shall continue to commend it, and also the other books of the series."

"I have recommended it to quite a few old as well as 'young' husbands, and I'm confident in its usefulness to them. I will keep endorsing it, along with the other books in the series."


EUGENE H. PORTER, M.A., M.D.

Professor Materia Medica, New York Homœopathic Medical
College; Professor Diseases of Stomach and Liver,
Metropolitan Post-Graduate School; Author of
numerous standard medical works; Editor
of North American Journal of
Homœopathy.

EUGENE H. PORTER, M.A., M.D.

Professor of Materia Medica at New York Homœopathic Medical
College; Professor of Stomach and Liver Diseases at
Metropolitan Post-Graduate School; Author of
many standard medical texts; Editor
of the North American Journal of
Homœopathy.

"Your new book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' should be in the hands of every young man who contemplates marriage. The work, while thoroughly refined in style and treatment, is vigorous and direct in its teaching and application of essential truths. Purity, happiness and health will be with those who heed its teachings. It is a sound and practical volume, and deserves a wide circulation."

"Your new book, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' should be read by every young man thinking about marriage. The writing is polished in style and approach, yet it is strong and straightforward in teaching and applying important truths. Those who follow its advice will find purity, happiness, and health. It is a practical and solid book that deserves to be widely shared."


H J. BOLDT, M.D.

Professor of Gynæcology, New York Post-Graduate Medical
School and Hospital; Gynæcologist to St. Mark's
Hospital; Gynæcologist to the German
Poliklinik.

H J. BOLDT, M.D.

Professor of Gynecology, New York Post-Graduate Medical
School and Hospital; Gynecologist at St. Mark's
Hospital; Gynecologist at the German
Polyclinic.

"There is nothing in the book which every man entering upon such new duty in life should not know. I personally feel that its possession, and following it in practice by young husbands, would be conducive to a purer life and more happiness. I shall most cheerfully commend it whenever an opportunity presents itself."

"There’s nothing in this book that every man starting a new role in life shouldn’t know. I truly believe that having it and applying its principles in practice by young husbands would lead to a cleaner life and greater happiness. I will gladly recommend it whenever I get the chance."


OLIVER EDWARD JANNEY, M.D.

The Southern Homœopathic Medical College, Baltimore, Md.

OLIVER EDWARD JANNEY, M.D.

The Southern Homeopathic Medical College, Baltimore, MD.

"If it could be placed in the hands of prospective husbands a vast amount of unhappiness and disease would be avoided, and the well-being of the race advanced. It is not wickedness, but ignorance that wrecks lives on the threshold of marriage, and this book teaches."

"If it could be given to future husbands, a lot of unhappiness and illness would be avoided, and overall well-being would improve. It's not evil, but ignorance that ruins lives at the start of marriage, and this book teaches."


PAUL F. MUNDE, M.D., LL.D.

Professor of Gynæcology at the New York Polyclinic and
at Dartmouth College; Gynæcologist to Mount
Sinai Hospital.

PAUL F. MUNDE, M.D., LL.D.

Professor of Gynecology at the New York Polyclinic and
Dartmouth College; Gynecologist at Mount
Sinai Hospital.

"I have looked through your book, entitled, 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' and am impelled by its contents and the careful and delicate manner in which you endeavor to communicate to a man about to enter the married state, 'what every young husband ought to know,' if he would ensure his marital happiness and save his wife as much as possible from the many afflictions unfortunately not always separable from that state. I am impelled, I repeat, to depart from my custom of refusing to endorse semi-medical publications intended for the lay-reader. Your previous work on 'What a Young Man Ought to Know,' has once before induced me to commit the same departure, and I feel that I am but adding my humble share toward the good work which I think you are conscientiously endeavoring to perform, in repeating substantially the commendation of the former book as applied to the present."

"I've taken a look at your book called 'What a Young Husband Ought to Know,' and I'm genuinely impressed by its content and the thoughtful way you aim to educate a man about to get married on 'what every young husband should know' to ensure his marital happiness and to spare his wife from as many challenges as possible that unfortunately come with that role. I'm compelled, once again, to break my usual practice of not endorsing semi-medical publications meant for the general reader. Your earlier book, 'What a Young Man Ought to Know,' previously prompted me to make this exception, and I feel that by giving my modest endorsement, I'm contributing to the valuable work I believe you are earnestly trying to achieve, by reiterating much of the praise I had for the previous book as it pertains to this one."


Pure Books on Avoided Subjects
Books for Men
By Sylvanus Stall, D. D.
"What a Young Boy Ought to Know."
"What a Young Man Ought to Know."
"What a Young Husband Ought to Know."
"What a Man of 45 Ought to Know."
Books for Women
By Mrs. Mary Wood-Allen, M.D.,
And Mrs. Emma F. A. Drake, M.D.
"What a Young Girl Ought to Know." "What a Young Woman Ought to Know." "What a Young Wife Ought to Know." "What a Woman of 45 Ought to Know."
PRICE AND BINDING

The books are issued in uniform size and but one style of binding, and sell in America at $1, in Great Britain at 4s., net, per copy, post free, whether sold singly or in sets.

The books are available in the same size and have only one type of binding, selling for $1 in America and 4s. in Great Britain, with free shipping, whether purchased individually or as a set.


PUBLISHED BY
IN THE UNITED STATES
THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY
2237 Land Title Building Philadelphia

PUBLISHED BY
IN THE UNITED STATES
THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY
2237 Land Title Building Philadelphia


IN ENGLAND
THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY
7 Imperial Arcade, Ludgate Circus, London, E.C.

IN ENGLAND
THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY
7 Imperial Arcade, Ludgate Circus, London, E.C.


IN CANADA
WILLIAM BRIGGS
29-33 Richmond Street West Toronto, Ontario

IN CANADA
WILLIAM BRIGGS
29-33 Richmond Street West Toronto, Ontario


"What a Young Boy Ought to Know."

"What a Young Boy Ought to Know."

BY SYLVANUS STALL, D. D.

BY SYLVANUS STALL, D.D.

Condensed Table of Contents

Table of Contents

PART I.

PART I.

God's purpose in endowing plants, animals and man with reproductive power—The question of the origin of life a natural and proper one—Difference between creating and making—How God now creates or reproduces the flowers, insects, fishes and animals—The mamma and papa plants and the baby plants—The mamma and papa nature in the stalk of corn—The two natures united in the same flower—Separated in other plants—The office of the wind and insects in fertilizing the flowers—The mamma and papa natures united in the same oyster—The life of the baby oyster—The two natures separated in the fishes—The eggs and the baby fishes—How seeds are made to grow and how eggs are hatched—The beautiful lives of parent birds—The bird's nest, the eggs and the baby birds—Why the eggs of animals may not be exposed in a nest—The nest which God has prepared for them—The hatching of the egg or the birth of the animal—The creation of Adam and Eve—God created man with power similar to his creative power—The purity of parentage.

God's purpose in giving plants, animals, and humans the ability to reproduce—The question of where life comes from is a natural and valid one—The difference between creating and making—How God now creates or reproduces flowers, insects, fish, and animals—The mother and father plants and their baby plants—The mother and father nature in the stalk of corn—The two natures combined in the same flower—Separated in other plants—The role of wind and insects in fertilizing flowers—The mother and father natures combined in the same oyster—The life of the baby oyster—The two natures separated in fish—The eggs and baby fish—How seeds grow and how eggs hatch—The lovely lives of parent birds—The bird's nest, the eggs, and the baby birds—Why animal eggs may not be left out in a nest—The nest that God has prepared for them—The hatching of the egg or the birth of the animal—The creation of Adam and Eve—God created humans with powers similar to His own creative power—The purity of parentage.

PART II

PART II

The manner in which the reproductive organs are injured in boys by abuse—Comparative anatomy, or points of resemblance between bodies of birds, animals and man—Man the only animal with a perfect hand—With the hand he constructs, builds and blesses—With the hand he smites, slays and injures others, and degrades himself.

The way boys can injure their reproductive organs through abuse—Comparative anatomy, or similarities between the bodies of birds, animals, and humans—Humans are the only animals with a fully developed hand—With the hand, he creates, builds, and brings joy—With the hand, he strikes, kills, and harms others, and lowers himself.

PART III

PART III

The consequences in boys of the abuse of the reproductive organs—Need of proper information—The moral effects first to manifest themselves—How secret sin affects the character of boys—Effects upon the body and the nerves—Effects upon the brain and mind—The physical effects that follow.

The consequences for boys from the misuse of their reproductive organs—The need for accurate information—Moral effects are the first to show—How hidden sins influence a boy's character—Impact on the body and nerves—Effects on the brain and mind—The physical consequences that follow.

PARTS IV and V

Parts IV and V

How boys may preserve their bodies in purity and strength—Our duty to aid others to avoid pernicious habits, and to retain or regain their purity and strength.

How boys can keep their bodies pure and strong—Our responsibility to help others avoid harmful habits and to maintain or regain their purity and strength.

PARTS VI and VII

PARTS 6 and 7

How purity and strength may be measurably regained—The age of adolescence or puberty and its attendant changes—Its significance and its dangers.

How purity and strength can be restored—The age of adolescence or puberty and its associated changes—Its importance and its risks.


Price, {$1.00} net, post free
{ 4 s.  }

Price, $1.00, free shipping
{ 4 s. }


"What a Young Boy Ought to Know"

"What a Young Boy Should Know"


For Boys under Sixteen Years of Age

For Boys Under Sixteen Years Old


WHAT EMINENT PEOPLE SAY

WHAT INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE SAY

Theodore L. Cuyler, D.D.

Theodore L. Cuyler, Doctor of Divinity

"'What a Young Boy Ought to Know' ought to be in every home where there is a boy."

"'What a Young Boy Ought to Know' should be in every home with a boy."

Lady Henry Somerset

Lady Henry Somerset

"Calculated to do an immense amount of good. I sincerely hope it may find its way to many homes."

"Designed to do a tremendous amount of good. I truly hope it reaches many homes."

Joseph Cook, D.D., LL.D.

Joseph Cook, Ph.D., J.D.

"It is everywhere suggestive, inspiring and strategic in a degree, as I think, not hitherto matched in literature of its class."

"It is constantly suggestive, inspiring, and strategic to a degree that I believe has not been matched in literature of its kind."

Charles L. Thompson, D.D.

Charles L. Thompson, Ph.D.

"Why was not this book written centuries ago?"

"Why wasn't this book written centuries ago?"

Anthony Comstock

Anthony Comstock

"It lifts the mind and thoughts upon a high and lofty plane upon delicate subjects."

"It elevates the mind and thoughts to a higher level on sensitive topics."

Edward W. Bok

Edward W. Bok

"It has appealed to me in a way which no other book of its kind has."

"It has drawn me in like no other book of its kind has."

Bishop John H. Vincent, D.D., LL.D.

Bishop John H. Vincent, D.D., LL.D.

"You have handled with great delicacy and wisdom an exceedingly difficult subject."

"You have addressed a very challenging topic with a lot of care and insight."

John Willis Baer

John W. Baer

"I feel confident that it can do great good, and I mean that my boys shall have the contents placed before them."

"I’m sure it can do a lot of good, and I intend for my boys to have access to its contents."

Mrs. Mary A. Livermore, LL.D.

Dr. Mary A. Livermore

"Full of physiological truths, which all children ought to know, at a proper age; will be read by boys without awakening a prurient thought."

"Packed with important biological facts that all kids should learn at the right age; it will be read by boys without sparking any inappropriate thoughts."

Josiah Strong, D.D.

Josiah Strong, D.D.

"A foolish and culpable silence on the part of most parents leaves their children to learn, too often from vicious companions, sacred truth in an unhallowed way."

"A foolish and guilty silence from most parents leaves their children to learn, too often from harmful friends, important truths in a disrespectful manner."


BY SYLVANUS STALL, D. D.

BY SYLVANUS STALL, PH.D.

Condensed Table of Contents

Table of Contents

STRENGTH

STRENGTH

The value of physical strength—the weak man handicapped—Threefold nature of man—Relation of the physical, intellectual and moral—Impair one, you injure all—The physical foundation—Man's strong sexual nature—Sexuality strongly marked in all great men—Importance of manly mastery of sexual nature—Personal purity—Only one moral standard for men and women.

The importance of physical strength—the disadvantaged individual—Threefold nature of humanity—Connection between the physical, mental, and ethical—Harm one, you hurt all—The physical base—Man's powerful sexual nature—Sexuality prominent in all great individuals—Significance of a man's control over his sexual nature—Personal purity—There is only one moral standard for both men and women.

WEAKNESS

WEAKNESS

Inherited weakness—How overcome—Acquired weakness—How produced—The effects of secret vice—What should be done—Losses in sleep—When to consult a physician—Danger from quacks and charlatans—What are normal and abnormal losses—Medical authorities quoted—Subject illustrated—Important directions.

Inherited weakness—How to overcome it—Acquired weakness—How it's produced—The effects of secret habits—What should be done—Loss of sleep—When to see a doctor—Risks from frauds and charlatans—What constitutes normal and abnormal losses—Medical experts cited—Subject illustrated—Important guidelines.

SOCIAL VICE

Social vice

Alarming ignorance concerning the diseases which accompany vice—Why physicians do not acquaint their patients with the nature of these diseases—The prevalence—All forms of venereal diseases leave terrible results—Character and consequences of gonorrhœa—Later complications—Chordee, stricture, blindness, etc.—How healthy brides become early and permanent invalids—Chancroid and chancre—The primary, secondary and tertiary forms of syphilis—The beginning, progress and end—Can it ever be cured—May the man ever marry—Effects upon wife and children.

Alarming ignorance about the diseases that come with immoral behavior—Why doctors don't inform their patients about these diseases—The prevalence—All types of sexually transmitted infections have serious consequences—Nature and effects of gonorrhea—Later complications—Chordee, urethral stricture, blindness, etc.—How healthy brides become early and long-term disabled—Chancroid and chancre—The primary, secondary, and tertiary stages of syphilis—The start, progression, and outcome—Can it ever be cured—Can the man ever marry—Effects on the wife and children.

THE REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS

The reproductive organs

Their purpose and prostitution—Marriage a great blessing—Difference between creation and procreation—All life from the seed or the egg—The reproduction of plants, fishes, birds and animals contrasted—An interesting study.

Their purpose and prostitution—Marriage is a great blessing—The difference between creation and procreation—All life comes from the seed or the egg—The way plants, fish, birds, and animals reproduce is contrasted—An engaging study.

MAN'S RELATION TO WOMAN

MAN'S RELATIONSHIP TO WOMAN

Importance of a right relation to women—The nature of marriage—The friends and foes of marriage—Who should not marry—The selection of a wife—Some general rules—Importance of great caution—Causes of unhappiness in married life—Early and late marriages.

Importance of having a good relationship with women—The nature of marriage—The supporters and opponents of marriage—Who should avoid marriage—Choosing a wife—Some general guidelines—The significance of being very careful—Reasons for unhappiness in married life—Early and late marriages.

HINDRANCES AND HELPS

Bumps and Boosts

The choice of companions, books, pictures, amusements, recreations—Liquors and tobacco—Self-mastery—Right aim in life—Industry, early rising—The influence of an ennobling affection—Education—The Sabbath, the Church and the Bible.

The choice of friends, books, images, entertainment, activities—Alcohol and tobacco—Self-control—Setting a positive direction in life—Hard work, waking up early—The impact of uplifting love—Education—Sunday, the Church, and the Bible.


Price {$1.00} net, per copy, post free
{ 4 s.  }

Price $1.00 net, per copy, free shipping
{ 4 s. }


"What a Young Man Ought to Know."

"What a Young Man Should Know."


What Eminent People Say:

What Notable People Say:

Francis E. Clark, D. D.

Francis E. Clark, D.D.

"Of exceeding value to every youth just entering upon manhood. It is written reverently but very plainly, and I believe will save a multitude of young men from evils unspeakable."

"Of great importance to every young person just starting out in adulthood. It's written with respect but in straightforward language, and I believe it will protect many young men from unimaginable troubles."

John Clifford, D. D.

John Clifford, PhD

"One of the best books for dawning manhood that has fallen into my hands. It goes to the roots of human living. It is thoroughly manly. Dr. Stall has laid the rising generation under an immense obligation."

"One of the best books for young men stepping into adulthood that I've come across. It gets to the heart of human existence. It's completely masculine. Dr. Stall has put a significant responsibility on the shoulders of the next generation."

J. Wilbur Chapman, D. D.

J. Wilbur Chapman, D.D.

"I bear willing testimony that I believe this book ought to be in the hands of every young man in this country."

"I gladly testify that I believe this book should be in the hands of every young man in this country."

Paul F. Munde, M. D., LL. D.

Paul F. Munde, M.D., LL.D.

Professor of Gynæcology in the New York Polyclinic
and at Dartmouth College, says:

Professor of Gynecology at the New York Polyclinic
and at Dartmouth College says:

"I most heartily commend not only the principle but the execution of what it aims to teach."

"I wholeheartedly endorse not just the principle but also the way it’s put into practice to teach what it aims to."

Eugene H. Porter, M. D., LL. D.

Eugene H. Porter, M.D., LL.D.

President of the Homeopathic Medical Society of the
State of New York; Professor Materia Medica,
New York Homeopathic Medical
College, etc., says:

President of the Homeopathic Medical Society of the State of New York; Professor of Materia Medica at New York Homeopathic Medical College, etc., says:

"We should especially commend the volume for its reliability in statement, and, as a medical man, I highly indorse the medical teachings of the book. It is trustworthy and sound. It is a work which should be in the hands of every young man."

"We should particularly praise this book for its reliability and, as someone in the medical field, I fully support the medical teachings it offers. It's trustworthy and well-founded. This is a book that every young man should have."


"What a Man of Forty-five Ought to Know."

"What a 45-Year-Old Man Should Know."

BY SYLVANUS STALL, D.D.

BY SYLVANUS STALL, PH.D.

Condensed Table of Contents

Table of Contents

PART I

PART I

WHAT HE OUGHT TO KNOW CONCERNING HIMSELF

WHAT HE OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT HIMSELF

Prevalent ignorance concerning physical changes in men of middle-life—Sad results of such ignorance—Reasons for change—Evidences of these changes—Husband and wife constitute a reproductive unit—The two natures responsive in activity and repose—Somewhat similar changes in both—The age at which climacteric or "change of life" occurs in men—Climacteric and adolescence contrasted—The testimony of medical men to the fact—Only young men need the testimonials of authorities—Old men know it—Compensations which follow the sexual hush—Physical and mental effects—Changes more gradual than in women—Many men intellectually at their best after sexual hush—To them time and experience open their richest treasures—Moderation in all things enjoined—Sexual moderation emphasized—Virility, how destroyed, how preserved—Effects of exercise, food, stimulants, sleep, employment, etc.—Functional disorders—Benefit of intelligence—Enlargement of the prostate gland—Manifestations, cause and precautionary measures—The marriage of men of middle life—Physical unfitness and effects—Rights of the unborn—The years beyond—The man at forty determines what the man at eighty shall be—Value of purpose to keep strong and bright—Examples.

Prevalent ignorance about physical changes in middle-aged men—Sad results of this ignorance—Reasons for change—Signs of these changes—Husbands and wives make up a reproductive unit—Both partners respond in activity and rest—Somewhat similar changes occur in both—The age when the climacteric or "change of life" happens in men—Climacteric compared to adolescence—The insight of medical professionals confirms this—Only young men need validation from experts—Older men understand it—Compensations that follow the sexual slowdown—Physical and mental effects—Changes happen more gradually than in women—Many men peak intellectually after the sexual slowdown—For them, time and experience reveal their greatest insights—Moderation in everything is advised—Emphasis on sexual moderation—How virility is lost, how it is maintained—Effects of exercise, diet, stimulants, sleep, work, etc.—Functional disorders—The importance of knowledge—Enlargement of the prostate gland—Symptoms, causes, and preventive measures—Marriage for middle-aged men—Physical unfitness and its effects—Rights of the unborn—The years beyond—A man at forty determines who he will be at eighty—The value of having a purpose to remain strong and vibrant—Examples.

PART II

PART II

WHAT HE OUGHT TO KNOW CONCERNING HIS WIFE

WHAT HE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HIS WIFE

Reproduction the primal purpose of marriage—Attractive and repellent periods in life of woman—Climacteric or change of life the most repellent period—Disappearance of menstruation only an outward manifestation—The phenomenon explained—Reasons for change made plain—Not a period of stress for all women—How to meet the menopause—Occupation, diet, fresh air, exercise, sleep, companionship, sexual repose, etc., etc.—Mortality and insanity greater among men—The aches and ills which attend the menopause—Aversion to husband, children and friends—Physical changes which attend and follow change of life in women—Modified sexual nature—Growths—Mental changes and conditions—Need of intelligence upon the part of husband and others.

Reproduction is the main purpose of marriage—Attractive and repellent phases in a woman's life—The climacteric or change of life is the most repellent phase—The end of menstruation is just an outward sign—This phenomenon explained—Reasons for the change clarified—Not all women experience this as a stressful period—How to navigate menopause—Work, diet, fresh air, exercise, sleep, companionship, sexual rest, etc.—Mortality and mental health issues are higher among men—The aches and pains that come with menopause—Feelings of aversion towards husband, children, and friends—Physical changes that occur during and after the change of life in women—Altered sexual nature—Growths—Mental changes and conditions—The need for understanding from husbands and others.


Price {$1.00} net, post free
{ 4 s.   }

Price {$1.00} net, free shipping
{ 4 s. }


"What a Man of Forty-five Ought to Know"

"What a Man of Forty-five Should Know"


PRAISED BY THE PRESS

ACCLAIMED BY THE MEDIA

"We do not hesitate to recommend."—Experience.

"We highly recommend."—Experience.

"A reliable and instructive guide in sexual matters and yet pure and chaste in style."—Journal of Dermatology.

"A trustworthy and informative guide on sexual issues, while still being pure and modest in style."—Journal of Dermatology.

"Information of vital importance."—Pittsburgh Christian Advocate.

"Crucial information."—Pittsburgh Christian Advocate.

"Written in an honest, frank, and fearless way."—Christian Standard.

"Written in a genuine, straightforward, and bold manner."—Christian Standard.

"It is a clean book which one should sit down to alone."—The Evangelist.

"It’s a great book to read on your own."—The Evangelist.

"These books deserve to be circulated by the million."—Leslie's Weekly.

"These books should be distributed by the millions."—Leslie's Weekly.

"To many men the guidance of this book will be a timely benediction."—Chicago Appeal.

"To many men, the guidance of this book will be a timely blessing."—Chicago Appeal.

"The utterance of one who has an accurate knowledge of men."—Brooklyn Citizen.

"The statement of someone who truly understands people."—Brooklyn Citizen.

"It is a helpful book and in all important particulars sound in its medical statements."—Baltimore Sun.

"It’s a useful book and is accurate in all key medical information."—Baltimore Sun.

"This book is recommendable not only to the intelligent layman to read himself and hand to others, but also to the physician, who ought to welcome it as a means to refresh an important part of his physiologic knowledge."—Alkaloidal Clinic.

"This book is a great read not only for the curious non-expert to enjoy and share with others, but also for doctors, who should appreciate it as a way to refresh their understanding of important physiological concepts."—Alkaloidal Clinic.

"A man who is a fool at forty-five (and there are many of them) is pretty hard to manage. There are certain things which he ought to know without being told, but it is difficult to teach him these things. He needs reasoning with and plain talking to. This book does it in a healthy, elevating manner. These cases are often very troublesome to the physician. It would be well to have this book handy to lend to such patients. This course will help the physician to manage his patient and help the patient. This book will do much good. There has been a need for just such a work."—Medical World.

"A man who is foolish at forty-five (and there are plenty of them) is pretty hard to handle. There are certain things he should know without being told, but it's tough to teach him those lessons. He needs to be reasoned with and talked to straightforwardly. This book does just that in a healthy, uplifting way. These cases often create significant challenges for the doctor. It would be useful to keep this book on hand to lend to such patients. This approach will assist the doctor in managing his patients and also help the patients themselves. This book will make a substantial positive impact. There has been a demand for a resource like this."—Medical World.


"What a Young Girl Ought to Know."

"What a Young Girl Should Know."

BY MRS. MARY WOOD-ALLEN, M. D.

BY MRS. MARY WOOD-ALLEN, M. D.

Condensed Table of Contents

Table of Contents

PART I

PART I

The origin of life—One plan in all forms of life—How plants grow from the seed—They feed on the soil, grow and mature—How the plant reproduces itself—The flower, the pollen, the pod, the seed—The office of bees and insects in fertilization.

The origin of life—One plan for all life forms—How plants grow from seeds—They absorb nutrients from the soil, grow, and mature—How plants reproduce—The flower, the pollen, the pod, the seed—The role of bees and insects in fertilization.

PART II

Part 2

Fishes and their young—The parent fishes and the baby fishes—The seeds of plants and eggs of fishes, birds and animals—How fishes never know their baby offspring—Warm blooded animals—Lessons from birds—Their nests, eggs and little ones.

Fishes and their young—The parent fishes and the baby fishes—The seeds of plants and the eggs of fishes, birds, and animals—How fishes never recognize their baby offspring—Warm-blooded animals—Lessons from birds—Their nests, eggs, and little ones.

PART III

PART III

Animals and their young—The place which God has prepared for their young—Beginning their independent life—Human babies the most helpless and dependent of all creatures—The relations of parent and child—The child a part of each parent—Heredity and its lessons.

Animals and their offspring—The space that God has created for their young—Starting their independent lives—Human babies are the most vulnerable and dependent of all beings—The connection between parent and child—The child is a piece of each parent—Inheritance and its teachings.

PART IV

Part 4

The value of good health—The care of the body—The body a temple to be kept holy—Girls should receive their instruction from their mothers—The body the garment which the soul wears—Effects of thoughts upon life and character—Value of good companions, good books and good influences—What it is to become a woman.

The value of good health—Taking care of your body—The body is a temple that should be kept sacred—Girls should learn from their mothers—The body is the clothing that the soul wears—How thoughts impact life and character—The importance of good friends, good books, and positive influences—What it means to become a woman.


Price {$1.00} net, per copy
{ 4 s.   }

Price {$1.00} net, per copy
{ 4 s.   }


"What a Young Girl Ought to Know"

"What a Young Girl Should Know"


WHAT EMINENT PEOPLE SAY

WHAT INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE SAY


Francis E. Willard, LL.D.

Francis E. Willard, Doctor of Laws.

"I do earnestly hope that this book, founded on a strictly scientific but not forgetting a strong ethical basis, may be well known and widely read by the dear girls in their teens and the young women in their homes."

"I truly hope that this book, based on a solid scientific foundation and a strong ethical approach, becomes well-known and widely read by young girls in their teenage years and young women in their homes."

Mrs. Elizabeth B. Grannis

Mrs. Elizabeth B. Grannis

"These facts ought to be judiciously brought to the intelligence of every child whenever it asks questions concerning its own origin."

"These facts should be carefully shared with every child whenever they ask questions about their own origin."

Mrs. Harriet Lincoln Coolidge

Mrs. Harriet Lincoln Coolidge

"It is a book that mothers and daughters ought to own."

"It’s a book that moms and daughters should have."

Mrs. Katharine L. Stevenson

Mrs. Katharine L. Stevenson

"The book is strong, direct, pure, as healthy as a breeze from the mountain-top."

"The book is powerful, straightforward, genuine, as refreshing as a breeze from the mountain top."

Mrs. Isabelle MacDonald Alden, "Pansy"

Mrs. Isabelle MacDonald Alden, "Pansy"

"It is just the book needed to teach what most people do not know how to teach, being scientific, simple and plain-spoken, yet delicate."

"It’s exactly the book needed to teach what most people don’t know how to teach, being scientific, straightforward, and easy to understand, yet respectful."

Miss Grace H. Dodge

Miss Grace H. Dodge

"I know of no one who writes or speaks on these great subjects with more womanly touch than Mrs. Wood-Allen, nor with deeper reverence. When I listen to her I feel that she has been inspired by a Higher Power."

"I don’t know anyone who writes or speaks about these important topics with more sensitivity than Mrs. Wood-Allen, or with greater respect. When I hear her, I can tell that she’s been inspired by a Higher Power."

Ira D. Sankey

Ira D. Sankey

"Every mother in the land that has a daughter should secure for her a copy of 'What a Young Girl Ought to Know.' It will save the world untold sorrow."

"Every mother in the country with a daughter should get her a copy of 'What a Young Girl Ought to Know.' It will prevent the world from experiencing countless heartaches."


"What a Young Woman Ought to Know."

"What a Young Woman Should Know."

BY MRS. MARY WOOD-ALLEN, M. D.

BY MRS. MARY WOOD-ALLEN, M. D.

Condensed Table of Contents

Table of Contents

PART I

PART I

CHILDHOOD AND GROWTH

Childhood and Development

Woman's worth—Importance of care of the body—How to obtain health—Waste and repair—Questions of food—Importance of rest in sleep—The office and importance of correct breathing—Injuries from tight clothing—Physical culture—Exercise and recreation—The value of the bath.

Woman's worth—Importance of taking care of the body—How to achieve health—Waste and repair—Questions about food—Importance of rest in sleep—The role and significance of proper breathing—Injuries from tight clothing—Physical fitness—Exercise and leisure—The benefits of bathing.

PART II

PART II

WOMANHOOD

Womanhood

The endowment of new powers—The conferring of life—Brain building and character formation—Soul and self—Special physiology—Woman's special bodily endowments—The crisis in the girl's life—Ovulation and menstruation—Their significance—Causes and cures of disturbed physical conditions—Painful periods and displacements—Special care of health at special times—Many healthful suggestions suited to the physical needs of young women—Secret vice and its consequences—The relation of pure young women to young men—Friendships.

The granting of new abilities—The bestowal of life—Developing the brain and shaping character—Soul and identity—Unique physiology—Women's specific physical traits—The pivotal moment in a girl’s life—Ovulation and menstruation—Their importance—Reasons and solutions for disrupted physical issues—Painful periods and displacements—Extra attention to health during specific times—Numerous health tips tailored to the physical needs of young women—Hidden habits and their effects—The connection between pure young women and young men—Friendships.

PART III

PART III

What is love—Should include mental conjugality, spiritual sympathy and physical attraction—Responsibility in marriage—Antecedents, talents and habits of young man—The law of heredity—Beneficial—Effects of stimulants upon offspring—Inherited effects of immorality—Good characteristics also transmitted—Requisites in a husband—Engagements—Benefits of, evils of—Holding to the highest ideals—Weddings—Gifts, tours and realities of life.

What is love? It should include mental companionship, emotional connection, and physical attraction. There’s also the responsibility that comes with marriage—considering the background, skills, and habits of the young man. The law of heredity plays a role and can be beneficial. Stimulants can impact the next generation, and the effects of immoral behavior can be inherited too. Positive traits can also be passed down. Qualities needed in a husband, engagements, their advantages and disadvantages, and striving for the highest ideals are all important. Weddings involve gifts, trips, and the realities of life.


Price {$1.00} net, per copy, post free
{ 4 s.   }

Price $1.00 net, per copy, shipping included
{ 4 s.   }


"What a Young Woman Ought to Know"

"What a Young Woman Ought to Know"


WHAT EMINENT PEOPLE SAY

WHAT FAMOUS PEOPLE SAY

Lady Henry Somerset

Lady Henry Somerset

"An extremely valuable book, and I wish that it may be widely circulated."

"An incredibly valuable book, and I hope it gets widely shared."

Mrs. Laura Ormiston Chant

Mrs. Laura Ormiston Chant

"The book ought to be in the hands of every girl on her fifteenth birthday, as a safe guide and teacher along the difficult path of womanhood."

"The book should be in the hands of every girl on her fifteenth birthday, serving as a reliable guide and mentor on the challenging journey of womanhood."

Margaret Warner Morley

Margaret Warner Morley

"There is an awful need for the book, and it does what it has undertaken to do better than anything of the kind I ever read."

"There is a genuine need for this book, and it accomplishes what it set out to do better than anything else I’ve ever read."

Mrs. May Wright Sewall

Mrs. May Wright Sewall

"I am profoundly grateful that a subject of such information to young woman should be treated in a manner at once so noble and so delicate."

"I am truly grateful that a topic so important for young women is handled in a way that is both noble and sensitive."

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

"It is a grave mistake for parents to try to keep their children ignorant of the very questions on which they should have scientific information."

"It’s a serious mistake for parents to try to keep their kids uninformed about the very topics they should have scientific knowledge about."

Lillian M. N. Stevens

Lillian M. N. Stevens

"There is a great need of carefully, delicately written books upon the subjects treated in this series. I am gratefully glad that the author has succeeded so well, and I trust great and enduring good will be the result."

"There is a strong need for carefully and thoughtfully written books on the topics discussed in this series. I am truly grateful that the author has done such a great job, and I hope it brings lasting and meaningful benefits."

Mrs. Matilda B. Carse

Mrs. Matilda B. Carse

"It is pure and instructive on the delicate subjects that mean so much to our daughters, to their future as homekeepers, wives and mothers, and to the future generations."

"It is clear and informative on the sensitive topics that are so important to our daughters, their future as homemakers, wives, and mothers, and to future generations."


"What a Young Wife Ought to Know."

"What a Young Wife Should Know."


BY MRS. EMMA F. A. DRAKE, M. D.

BY MRS. EMMA F. A. DRAKE, M. D.

Condensed Table of Contents

Table of Contents

HUSBAND AND HOME

Partner and household

The choice of a husband—One worthy of both love and respect—Real characteristics necessary—Purity vs. "wild oats"—What shall a young wife expect to be to her husband?—His equal, but not his counterpart—His helpmeet Wifehood and motherhood—Should keep pace with his mental growth—Trousseau and wedding presents—The foolish and ruinous display at weddings—Wedding presents and unhappiness—Wise choice of furniture—The best adornments for the home.

The choice of a husband—One deserving of both love and respect—Real characteristics needed—Purity vs. "wild oats"—What should a young wife expect to be to her husband?—His equal, but not his duplicate—His partner. Wifehood and motherhood—Should match his mental growth—Trousseau and wedding gifts—The silly and harmful extravagance at weddings—Wedding gifts and unhappiness—Smart selection of furniture—The best decorations for the home.

THE MARITAL RELATIONS

THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

The marital state should be the most holy of sanctuaries—Its influence upon character—Modesty—Reproduction the primal purpose—Love's highest plane—The right and wrong of marriage—The wrongdoings of good men.

The marriage state should be the most sacred of places—Its impact on character—Modesty—Reproduction as the main purpose—The highest level of love—The rights and wrongs of marriage—The mistakes of good people.

PARENTHOOD

PARENTING

Preparation for motherhood—Motherhood the glory of womanhood—Maternity productive of health—Clothing—Exercise—Baths, etc., etc.—The child the expression of the mother's thoughts—The five stages of prenatal culture.

Preparation for motherhood—Motherhood is the pride of womanhood—Maternity promotes health—Clothing—Exercise—Baths, etc., etc.—The child is a reflection of the mother's thoughts—The five stages of prenatal culture.

PREPARATION FOR FATHERHOOD

Preparing for Fatherhood

Questions which test the fitness of young men for marriage—Many young men of startling worth—Effects of bad morals and wayward habits—Tobacco and Alcoholics—Attaining the best—The father reproduced in his children.

Questions that assess whether young men are ready for marriage—Many young men of impressive character—Impact of poor morals and erratic behaviors—Tobacco and alcohol—Reaching one's best potential—The father's traits passed down to his children.

ANTENATAL INFANTICIDE

Antenatal infanticide

The moral responsibility of parents in heredity—The mother's investment of moulding power—Parents workers together with God—Ailments during expectant motherhood—Maternity a normal state—Development of the fœtus—Minuteness of the germ of human life—Changes which take place—Life present the moment conception takes place—The sin of tampering with the work of the Infinite.

The moral responsibility of parents regarding heredity—The mother's role in shaping her child—Parents collaborating with God—Health issues during pregnancy—Pregnancy as a normal condition—Development of the fetus—Detail of the germ of human life—Changes that occur—Life begins at the moment of conception—The wrong of interfering with the work of the Infinite.

THE LITTLE ONE

THE KID

Baby's wardrobe—The question that comes with fluttering signs of life—Importance of wise choice of material and style of dress—Choice of physician and nurse of real consequence—The birth chamber—Surroundings and after-care of the mother—The care of the baby—The responsibilities and joys of motherhood—The mother the baby's teacher—Common ailments of children and how to treat them—Guarding against vice—The training of children—Body building—Helps for mothers.

Baby's wardrobe—The question that arises with the signs of life—The importance of making smart choices about materials and clothing styles—Choosing the right doctor and nurse is crucial—The delivery room—The environment and postnatal care for the mother—Caring for the baby—The responsibilities and joys of being a mother—The mother as the baby's first teacher—Common childhood illnesses and how to treat them—Protecting against bad behavior—Raising children—Building strong bodies—Resources for mothers.


Price, { $1.00 } net, post free.
{  4 s.   }

Price, { $1.00 } net, free shipping.
{ 4 s. }


"What a Young Wife Ought to Know"

"What a Young Wife Ought to Know"


WHAT EMINENT PEOPLE SAY

WHAT IMPORTANT PEOPLE SAY


Mrs. Margaret E. Sangster

Mrs. Margaret E. Sangster

"Joyfully I send you my unqualified endorsement of the excellent book, 'What a Young Wife Ought to Know.' I wish every young and perplexed wife might read its pages."

"With great pleasure, I give my full support to the outstanding book, 'What a Young Wife Ought to Know.' I hope every young and confused wife has the chance to read it."

Charles H. Parkhurst, D.D.

Charles H. Parkhurst, D.D.

"It handles delicate matters in a manner as firm as it is delicate, and dignifies even what is common by the purity of the sentiment and nobility of intent with which it is treated."

"It deals with sensitive issues in a way that is both strong and gentle, and it elevates even the ordinary through the purity of its feelings and the nobility of its intentions."

Marietta Holly (Josiah Allen's Wife)

Marietta Holly (Josiah Allen's Wife)

"It is an excellent book; if every young wife of to-day would read it and lay its lessons to heart it would make the to-morrow much easier and happier for all of Eve's daughters."

"It is a great book; if every young wife today would read it and take its lessons to heart, it would make tomorrow much easier and happier for all of Eve's daughters."

W. G. Sperry, M.D.

Dr. W. G. Sperry

"Young wives, for whom this book is intended, will receive great benefits from heeding its wise words. It is good for incitement, guidance, restraint."

"Young wives, for whom this book is intended, will gain a lot from paying attention to its wise advice. It is helpful for motivation, guidance, and self-control."

Mrs. Joseph Cook

Mrs. Joseph Cook

"It illuminates the Holy of Holies in the most sacred of earthly relationships with the white light of truth and purity."

"It sheds light on the most sacred of earthly relationships with the bright light of truth and purity."

Julia Holmes Smith, M.D.

Dr. Julia Holmes Smith

"Be sure Dr. Drake's book is part of your daughter's outfit. I have never read anything which so thoroughly met the use it was designed for as this volume."

"Make sure Dr. Drake's book is included in your daughter's collection. I've never read anything that fulfills its purpose as well as this book does."

J. P. Sutherland, M.D.

Dr. J. P. Sutherland

"A subject difficult to treat has been handled by Dr. Drake with delicacy, earnestness and straightforwardness. It is a practical book destined to do good."

"A challenging topic has been addressed by Dr. Drake with care, sincerity, and clarity. It's a practical book meant to make a positive impact."


"What a Woman of Forty-five Ought to Know."

"What a Woman of Forty-five Should Know."

BY MRS. EMMA F. A. DRAKE, M. D.

BY MRS. EMMA F. A. DRAKE, M. D.

Condensed Table of Contents

Table of Contents

KNOWLEDGE OF CLIMACTERIC NECESSARY

UNDERSTANDING OF CLIMACTERIC ESSENTIAL

Why women are not prepared to meet the climacteric—The fear that unnerves many—Error of views concerning "Change of Life"—Correct teaching stated—Influence of medical literature—Three periods in a woman's life—Relation of early habits to later aches and ills—The menopause—Conditions which influence the period of the climacteric—The age at which it usually appears—Effects of heredity—Childless women—Mothers of large families—Effects of different occupations—Excesses.

Why women are not ready to face menopause—The anxiety that disturbs many—Misconceptions about "Change of Life"—Accurate information presented—Impact of medical literature—Three stages in a woman's life—Connection between early habits and later pains and illnesses—Menopause—Factors that affect the timing of menopause—The typical age at which it occurs—Influence of family history—Women without children—Mothers of large families—Impact of various occupations—Excesses.

HERALDS OF CHANGE—DISEASES AND REMEDIES

Heralds of Change—Illnesses and Treatments

Mental states during menopause—Change in blood currents—Flushes, chilliness, dizziness, etc.—Nervous symptoms—Disturbed mental and nervous equilibriums—Nature as woman's helper—Troublesome ailments—Mental troubles considered—Suggested help—Cancer—Benefits named—Apprehensions dispelled—How to banish worry—Simplifying daily duty—An eminent physician's prescription—A word to single women—Reluctance of unmarried women to meet the menopause—How to prolong one's youth—Dress during this period—The mother "At Sea"—Guarding against becoming gloomy—Effects of patent medicine advertising—Drug fiends—Lustful indulgence.

Mental states during menopause—Changes in blood flow—Hot flashes, chills, dizziness, etc.—Nervous symptoms—Disrupted mental and nervous balance—Nature as a woman's ally—Annoying issues—Mental challenges addressed—Proposed solutions—Cancer—Named benefits—Fears alleviated—Ways to eliminate worry—Simplifying daily tasks—A leading physician's advice—A message for single women—Unmarried women's reluctance to face menopause—How to extend your youth—Clothing choices during this time—The mother feeling "lost"—Avoiding a gloomy mindset—Impact of patent medicine advertising—Drug addiction—Excessive indulgence.

WHAT BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD REMEMBER

WHAT BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD REMEMBER

Slights and inattentions keenly felt by her—Need of patience—A word of private counsel—Value of little attentions—Wife's duty to her husband—Holding husband's affections—Making home attractive—Unselfishness.

Slights and neglect that she feels deeply—The need for patience—A private word of advice—The importance of small gestures—A wife's responsibility to her husband—Maintaining her husband's love—Creating a welcoming home—Being selfless.

AUTO-SUGGESTION AND OTHER SUGGESTIONS

Auto-suggestions and other options

Influence of mind over body—The mind as a curative agent—How to rise out of depression—Mental philosophy and physical betterment—Relation of health to sight—Care of the teeth—The hair—Constipation—Self cure—Choice of foods—Exercise—Physical development—Exercise of mind and soul.

Influence of mind over body—The mind as a healing force—How to overcome depression—Mental philosophy and physical health—Connection between health and vision—Dental care—Hair care—Constipation—Self-treatment—Food choices—Exercise—Physical growth—Engagement of mind and spirit.


Price, { $1.00 } net, post free.
{  4 s.   }

Price: $1.00, including free shipping.
{ 4 s. }


"What a Woman of Forty-five Ought to Know"

"What a Woman of Forty-five Ought to Know"


PRAISED BY THE PRESS

REVIEWED FAVORABLY BY THE PRESS

"Will dispel apprehensions aroused by groundless forebodings."—Reformed Church Messenger.

"Will ease worries caused by unfounded fears."—Reformed Church Messenger.

"If the hygienic advice in this book is followed it will lengthen the lives of women and make their closing years the happiest and most useful of all."—Herald and Presbyter.

"If the hygiene tips in this book are followed, they will extend women's lives and make their later years the happiest and most fulfilling of all."—Herald and Presbyter.

"In no line of literature, perhaps, is such a book so much needed."—New Haven Leader.

"In no area of literature, maybe, is such a book more necessary."—New Haven Leader.

"Those who peruse the book only from prurient curiosity will be disappointed."—Cleveland World.

"People who read the book just out of sheer curiosity will be let down."—Cleveland World.

"Should be read by every woman nearing and passing middle life."—Pittsburg Gazette.

"Every woman approaching or going through middle age should read this." —Pittsburg Gazette.

"Written in that wholesome sympathetic manner characteristic of all the books in the Self and Sex Series."—Cleveland Daily World.

"Written in that wholesome, relatable style that’s typical of all the books in the Self and Sex Series."—Cleveland Daily World.

"Full of most admirable practical advice, and it is written in a sympathetic manner which is the outcome of oneness of sex between the author and those whom she addresses."—Syracuse Herald.

"Packed with truly valuable advice and written in an understanding tone that reflects a shared experience between the author and her readers."—Syracuse Herald.

"There are some things that a woman of forty-five does not know—things which she regards with more or less terror in the expectation—which terror it is the object of Mrs. Drake to dispel."—Rochester Herald.

"There are some things that a 45-year-old woman doesn't know—things she views with varying levels of fear in anticipation—which is the fear that Mrs. Drake aims to eliminate."—Rochester Herald.

"There is nothing in the book that could not be proclaimed from the house-tops, and there is everything in it that intelligent and thoughtful women should read and keep for their daughters to read when the proper time comes."—Newark Daily Advertiser.

"There’s nothing in the book that shouldn’t be shouted from the rooftops, and it contains everything that smart and considerate women should read and pass down to their daughters when the time is right."—Newark Daily Advertiser.


NEW BOOK

NEW RELEASE

.... BY ....

.... BY ....

MRS. EMMA F. A. DRAKE, M. D.

MRS. EMMA F. A. DRAKE, M. D.

"MATERNITY
WITHOUT
SUFFERING."

"MATERNITY
WITHOUT
PAIN."

A Book for Prospective Mothers

A Guide for Expecting Mothers

By MRS. EMMA F. A. DRAKE, M. D.

By Mrs. Emma F. A. Drake, M.D.

Author of "What A Young Wife Ought to Know," and "What A Woman of 45 Ought to Know."

Author of "What a Young Wife Should Know," and "What a Woman at 45 Should Know."

A valuable book for wives. A splendid and invaluable book written by a mother for mothers and prospective mothers.

A valuable book for wives. A wonderful and essential book written by a mother for mothers and future mothers.

It treats in a most informing and chaste manner the topics of vital interest to every mature woman.

It addresses important topics that are relevant to every mature woman in a clear and respectful way.

This book, whilst having the dignity of a medical work, is couched in language that is familiar and adequate, and will prove of excellent worth to expectant mothers, as it robs this critical period of all anticipated suffering. The price of this book of priceless value to woman is

This book, while maintaining the seriousness of a medical text, uses language that is accessible and clear, making it incredibly valuable for expectant mothers, as it eliminates much of the expected discomfort during this important time. The cost of this book, which is invaluable to women, is

Only 50 Cents, Post Free.

Just 50 cents, free shipping.

Table of contents sent free upon application.

Table of contents available for free upon request.

The Vir Publishing Company,

Vir Publishing Co.,

1304 Land Title Building, Philadelphia, Penna.

1304 Land Title Building, Philadelphia, PA.


A NEW DEVOTIONAL BOOK

A New Devotional Guide


"Faces Toward the Light"

"Faces Toward the Light"

By Sylvanus Stall, D. D.

By Sylvanus Stall, Ph.D.


Every phase of the Christian life—its joys and sorrows, its temptations and triumphs—is treated in a reverent and deeply spiritual manner that is sure to prove helpful and inspiring to every reader.

Every stage of the Christian life—its joys and sorrows, its temptations and victories—is addressed in a respectful and profoundly spiritual way that is sure to be helpful and inspiring to every reader.

SOME CHAPTERS IN THE BOOK

SOME CHAPTERS IN THE BOOK

Glory After Gloom. The Dangerous Hour. The Concealed Future. Gleaning for Christ. Hunger and Health. Direction and Destiny. God of the Valleys. Coins and Christians. Reserved Blessings. Comfort in Sorrow. The Better Service. Not Knowing Whither. Good, but Good for Nothing. No Easy Place. The Dead Prayer Office. How God Reveals Himself. Starting Late. Source of Power. Toiling at a Heavy Tow. What He Gave and What He Got. Vacation Lessons. Wheat or Weeds. The Christian's Power. Disclosures in the Cloud. Healing and Living Waters. The Concealed Future. Suspended Animation. The Source of Power. Lessons from the Leaves. Etc.

Glory After Gloom. The Dangerous Hour. The Hidden Future. Gleaning for Christ. Hunger and Health. Direction and Destiny. God of the Valleys. Coins and Christians. Reserved Blessings. Comfort in Sorrow. The Better Service. Not Knowing Where to Go. Good, but Good for Nothing. No Easy Place. The Dead Prayer Office. How God Reveals Himself. Starting Late. Source of Power. Struggling with a Heavy Load. What He Gave and What He Received. Vacation Lessons. Wheat or Weeds. The Christian's Power. Revelations in the Cloud. Healing and Living Waters. The Hidden Future. Suspended Animation. The Source of Power. Lessons from the Leaves. Etc.


Price, { $1.00 } net, per copy
{  4 s.   }

Price, { $1.00 } net, per copy
{ 4 s. }


JUST PUBLISHED

JUST PUBLISHED


New Revised Edition

New Edition


"Manhood's Morning"

"Morning of Manhood"

BY JOSEPH ALFRED CONWELL

BY JOSEPH ALFRED CONWELL

An Invaluable Book for Every Young Man

An Invaluable Book for Every Young Man


Chapter 1, Twelve Million Young Men. Chapter 2, The Best Years of Life. Chapter 3, What Some Young Men Have Done. Chapter 4, Wild Oats and Other Weeds. Chapter 5, Reason Why Young Men Go Wrong. Chapter 6, Paying the Piper. Chapter 7, Where Young Men Belong. Chapter 8, What Young Men Must Be. Chapter 9, What Young Men Must Do.

Chapter 1, Twelve Million Young Men. Chapter 2, The Best Years of Life. Chapter 3, What Some Young Men Have Done. Chapter 4, Wild Oats and Other Weeds. Chapter 5, Reasons Young Men Go Wrong. Chapter 6, Paying the Piper. Chapter 7, Where Young Men Belong. Chapter 8, What Young Men Must Be. Chapter 9, What Young Men Must Do.

COMMENDATIONS

Praises

From Prof. Lyman B. Sperry, M.D., Lecturer and Author

From Prof. Lyman B. Sperry, M.D., Lecturer and Author

"Every young man should read it yearly from the time he is fourteen till he is twenty-eight."

"Every young man should read it every year from the time he turns fourteen until he’s twenty-eight."

Bishop J. H. Vincent, LL.D., Chancellor of Chautauqua University

Bishop J. H. Vincent, LL.D., Chancellor of Chautauqua University

"Every minister who deals with young men, and every young man who cares to avoid evil and loves righteousness should read the book."

"Every minister working with young men, and every young man who wants to steer clear of wrongdoing and values righteousness should read the book."

Frances E. Willard, President National W. C. T. U.

Frances E. Willard, President of the National W.C.T.U.

"We advise parents to send for a copy of this book to give as a present to their sons."

"We recommend that parents request a copy of this book to gift to their sons."

T. J. Sanders, A.M., Ph.D., President Otterbein University, Ohio

T. J. Sanders, A.M., Ph.D., President of Otterbein University, Ohio

"A remarkable series of Chapters to young men—stimulating and suggestive."

"A fantastic series of chapters for young men—motivating and thought-provoking."


Price, { $1.00 } net, per Copy
{  4 s.   }

Price, { $1.00 } net, per Copy
{ 4 s. }


---- BY ----

---- BY ----

SYLVANUS STALL, D. D.

SYLVANUS STALL, D.D.


Five-Minute Object Sermons to Children

Five-Minute Object Lessons for Kids

"Far better than Newton's, the anecdotes and subjects of which have long since become common property. Many of the subjects are very fresh and telling."—New York Evangelist.

"Much better than Newton's, the stories and topics have long become common knowledge. Many of the subjects are quite new and striking."—New York Evangelist.

Cloth, 253 pp. Price, $1.00, post free.

Cloth, 253 pages. Price: $1.00, shipping included.

Talks to the King's Children

Talks with the King's Kids

"The Rev. Dr. Sylvanus Stall, is one of the best preachers for young people in the American pulpit. His 'Five-Minute Object Sermons' to children was an ideal book in its class. The present volume is a second series of the same kind, and will be found to have no less point and charm than the volume published two years ago."—New York Independent.

"The Rev. Dr. Sylvanus Stall is one of the best preachers for young people in American churches. His 'Five-Minute Object Sermons' for kids was an excellent book in its category. This current volume is a second series of the same kind and will be just as insightful and engaging as the volume published two years ago." —New York Independent.

Cloth, 249 pp. Price $1.00, post free.

Cloth, 249 pages. Price $1.00, including shipping.

Methods of Church Work

Church Work Methods

"It is stimulating, helpful, worth its weight in gold to any minister who wishes to accomplish anything for the kingdom of Christ."—New York Christian Intelligencer.

"It is motivating, useful, and incredibly valuable for any minister who wants to achieve anything for the kingdom of Christ."—New York Christian Intelligencer.

Cloth, 304 pp. Price $1.50, post free.

Cloth, 304 pages. Price $1.50, shipping included.

Bible Selections for Daily Devotion.

Daily Devotion Bible Selections.

The most spiritual and helpful portion of the entire Bible arranged in the order of the original text. Comprises about one-third of the whole Bible.

The most spiritual and helpful part of the entire Bible, arranged in the order of the original text. It makes up about one-third of the whole Bible.

"That there has been a great falling off in the good old custom of daily family worship, there can be no doubt. Just how much of this deplorable condition is due to the difficulty of hastily selecting Scriptural passages suited to the service, it might be difficult to determine. But fully persuaded that this is an obstacle of considerable moment, Dr. Stall, after some three year's work, has selected a series of 365 devotional readings from Genesis to Revelation."—Christian Advocate, Pittsburg.

"There's no doubt that there's been a significant decline in the once-common practice of daily family worship. It might be hard to pinpoint exactly how much of this unfortunate situation is due to the challenge of quickly choosing appropriate Scripture passages for the service. However, convinced that this is a major obstacle, Dr. Stall has spent about three years compiling a set of 365 devotional readings from Genesis to Revelation."—Christian Advocate, Pittsburg.

Cloth, 12mo., 686 pages. Price, $1.00, post free.

Cloth, 12mo., 686 pages. Price: $1.00, shipping included.

Pastor's Pocket Record

Pastor's Pocket Journal

(Undenominational.)

(Non-denominational.)

"Its departments cover everything a minister wishes to record."—W. F. Crafts, D. D.

"Its departments cover everything a minister wants to record."—W. F. Crafts, D. D.

20 Departments. 200 pp., Levant morocco. Price, 50c.

20 Departments. 200 pages, Levant morocco. Price, 50 cents.


ADDRESS ALL ORDERS TO

SEND ALL ORDERS TO

The Vir Publishing Company.

Vir Publishing Company.


THE ONLY JOURNAL OF ITS KIND PUBLISHED.

THE ONLY JOURNAL OF ITS KIND PUBLISHED.


The Purity Advocate

The Cleanliness Advocate

A Quarterly Periodical in Modern Ornamental Dress, Illustrated and Handsomely Printed.

A quarterly magazine in a modern, stylish format, illustrated and beautifully printed.


DEVOTED TO THE CAUSE OF

Committed to the cause of

A PURE MANHOOD AND WOMANHOOD

A TRUE MANHOOD AND WOMANHOOD


Ten Cents a Year in America and Canada. Sixpence in Great Britain (stamps accepted).

Ten Cents a Year in the U.S. and Canada. Sixpence in Great Britain (stamps accepted).


Articles appear in its columns from such well-known and distinguished authors as Josiah Strong, D. D., Jessie A. Ackerman, Martha B. Earle, J. R. Miller, D. D., Theodore Cuyler, D. D., Mrs. Mabel L. Conklin, Mrs. Margaret E. Sangster, Mrs. Dr. Mary Wood-Allen, Sharlott M. Hall, Mrs. Emma F. A. Drake, M. D., Margaret S. Hormel, Rev. C. W. Arnold, M. D., Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Canon E. Lyttleton, Washington Gladden, D. D., Sylvanus Stall, D. D., and many other noted writers.

Articles appear in its columns from well-known and distinguished authors like Josiah Strong, D.D., Jessie A. Ackerman, Martha B. Earle, J.R. Miller, D.D., Theodore Cuyler, D.D., Mrs. Mabel L. Conklin, Mrs. Margaret E. Sangster, Mrs. Dr. Mary Wood-Allen, Sharlott M. Hall, Mrs. Emma F. A. Drake, M.D., Margaret S. Hormel, Rev. C. W. Arnold, M.D., Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Canon E. Lyttleton, Washington Gladden, D.D., Sylvanus Stall, D.D., and many other notable writers.


SAMPLE COPIES FREE.

Free sample copies.


THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY,

THE VIR PUBLISHING CO.,

640 Land Title Building,

640 Land Title Bldg,

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA.

PHILADELPHIA, PA.


JUST PUBLISHED

NEW RELEASE

IMPORTANT BOOKS

IMPORTANT BOOKS

BY

BY

SYLVANUS STALL

Sylvanus Stall


In no other department of medicine have such wonderful advances been made during the past twenty-five years as in the study of the subjects treated in the books named below. The microscope has revolutionized medical thought and knowledge upon the subject of gonorrhea.

In no other area of medicine have there been such amazing advances in the last twenty-five years as in the topics discussed in the books listed below. The microscope has completely changed medical understanding and knowledge about gonorrhea.

These books are of the utmost importance; are thoroughly endorsed by the best medical authorities and should be read by every educator, pastor, parent, and by every man and woman. They are masterly treatments of the subjects in plain, intelligible terms.

These books are incredibly important; they are fully supported by top medical experts and should be read by every teacher, pastor, parent, and by every man and woman. They provide expert discussions of the topics in clear, understandable language.

"NO PHYSICAL NECESSITY,"

"NOT NEEDED PHYSICALLY,"

50 cts. net—2s. net

50 cents net—2 shillings net

"THE SOCIAL PLAGUE,"

"THE SOCIAL PLAGUE,"

$1.00 net—4s. net

$1.00 net—4s. net

"THE LEPROSY OF LUST,"

"THE LEPROSY OF DESIRE,"

$1.00 net—4s. net

$1.00 net—4s net

(Each in Full Cloth Binding)

(Each in Hard Cover)


Any of the above sent post free on receipt of price. Address all orders to

Any of the above items will be sent without shipping charges upon receipt of payment. Please send all orders to

The Vir Publishing Company

Vir Publishing

Transcriber's Corrections

Following is a list of significant typographical errors that have been corrected.

Following is a list of important typos that have been fixed.

  • Page xix, "ndividual" changed to "individual" (of every individual).
  • Page 40, "child-bearing" changed to "childbearing" to remain consistent with other instances (exposed in childbearing).
  • Page 77, "prove" changed to "proves" (impulse that proves fatal).
  • Page 80, "sexally" changed to "sexually" (when he is sexually).
  • Page 113, "rue" changed to "true" (is also true of them all).
  • Page 119, "is to desired" changed to "is desired" (all that is desired in this world).
  • Page 145, "pre eminence" changed to "pre-eminence" (husband shall have preference and pre-eminence).
  • Page 158, "abormal" changed to "abnormal" (due to abnormal conditions).
  • Page 172, "new-born" changed to "newborn" to remain consistent with other instances (clasps her newborn infant).
  • Page 192, "pre-natal" changed to "prenatal" to remain consistent with other instances (chapter upon prenatal influences).
  • Page 282, "huband" changed to "husband" (upon her husband).
  • "Offices of Publication" page, "PHILADELHHIA" changed to "PHILADELPHIA".
  • "Pure Books on Avoided Subjects" ad, "Britian" changed to "Britain" (in Great Britain).
  • "What a Young Man Ought to Know" ad, "Three-fold" changed to "Threefold" to remain consistent with other instances (Threefold nature of man).
  • "What a Young Man Ought to Know" ad, "prevavalence" changed to "prevalence" (The prevalence).
  • "OTHER BOOKS" ad, "SYVANUS" changed to "SYLVANUS" (by SYLVANUS STALL, D. D.).
  • "OTHER BOOKS" ad, "covers" changed to "cover" (Its departments cover everything).



        
        
    
Download ePUB

If you like this ebook, consider a donation!