This is a modern-English version of The Celestial Omnibus, and Other Stories, originally written by Forster, E. M. (Edward Morgan). It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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THE CELESTIAL OMNIBUS AND OTHER STORIES

By

E.M. FORSTER

London: Sidgwick & Jackson Ltd.

Adam Street, Adelphi, W.C.

1912.

TO THE MEMORY OF THE

INDEPENDENT REVIEW

These stories first appeared in The Albany Review, The English Review, The Independent Review, The Pall Mall Magazine, and Putnams Magazine; thanks are due to the editors for kindly permitting republication.

These stories first appeared in The Albany Review, The English Review, The Independent Review, The Pall Mall Magazine, and Putnams Magazine; we thank the editors for generously allowing us to republish them.



CONTENTS

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THE STORY OF A PANIC

I

Eustace's career—if career it can be called—certainly dates from that afternoon in the chestnut woods above Ravello. I confess at once that I am a plain, simple man, with no pretensions to literary style. Still, I do flatter myself that I can tell a story without exaggerating, and I have therefore decided to give an unbiassed account of the extraordinary events of eight years ago.

Eustace's career—if you can call it that—definitely began that afternoon in the chestnut woods above Ravello. I’ll admit right away that I’m a straightforward, simple person, with no illusions about having a literary style. Still, I do think I can tell a story without embellishment, and so I’ve decided to provide an unbiased account of the unusual events from eight years ago.

Ravello is a delightful place with a delightful little hotel in which we met some charming people. There were the two Miss Robinsons, who had been there for six weeks with Eustace, their nephew, then a boy of about fourteen. Mr. Sandbach had also been there some time. He had held a curacy in the north of England, which he had been compelled to resign on account of ill-health, and while he was recruiting at Ravello he had taken in hand Eustace's education—which was then sadly deficient—and was endeavouring to fit him for one of our great public schools. Then there was Mr. Leyland, a would-be artist, and, finally, there was the nice landlady, Signora Scafetti, and the nice English-speaking waiter, Emmanuele—though at the time of which I am speaking Emmanuele was away, visiting a sick father.

Ravello is a charming place with a lovely little hotel where we met some friendly people. There were the two Miss Robinsons, who had been there for six weeks with their nephew Eustace, a boy of about fourteen. Mr. Sandbach had also been there for a while. He had been a clergyman in the north of England but had to resign due to health issues. While he was recovering in Ravello, he took on Eustace's education, which was quite lacking at that time, and was trying to prepare him for one of our prestigious public schools. Then there was Mr. Leyland, an aspiring artist, and lastly, the nice landlady, Signora Scafetti, along with the friendly English-speaking waiter, Emmanuele—though at the time I'm talking about, Emmanuele was away visiting his sick father.

To this little circle, I, my wife, and my two daughters made, I venture to think, a not unwelcome addition. But though I liked most of the company well enough, there were two of them to whom I did not take at all. They were the artist, Leyland, and the Miss Robinsons' nephew, Eustace.

To this small group, my wife, our two daughters, and I made, I believe, a somewhat welcomed addition. However, even though I generally liked most of the people, there were two I really couldn’t stand. They were the artist, Leyland, and the Miss Robinsons' nephew, Eustace.

Leyland was simply conceited and odious, and, as those qualities will be amply illustrated in my narrative, I need not enlarge upon them here. But Eustace was something besides: he was indescribably repellent.

Leyland was just arrogant and unpleasant, and since those traits will be clearly shown in my story, I won’t go into detail about them here. But Eustace was more than that: he was profoundly off-putting.

I am fond of boys as a rule, and was quite disposed to be friendly. I and my daughters offered to take him out—'No, walking was such a fag.' Then I asked him to come and bathe—'No, he could not swim.'

I generally like boys and was pretty eager to be friendly. My daughters and I invited him to join us for a walk—'No, walking is such a hassle.' Then I asked him to come and swim—'No, he couldn't swim.'

"Every English boy should be able to swim," I said, "I will teach you myself."

"Every English boy should know how to swim," I said, "I'll teach you myself."

"There, Eustace dear," said Miss Robinson; "here is a chance for you."

"There, Eustace, my dear," said Miss Robinson, "here's your chance."

But he said he was afraid of the water!—a boy afraid!—and of course I said no more.

But he said he was scared of the water!—a boy scared!—and of course I didn’t say anything more.

I would not have minded so much if he had been a really studious boy, but he neither played hard nor worked hard. His favourite occupations were lounging on the terrace in an easy chair and loafing along the high road, with his feet shuffling up the dust and his shoulders stooping forward. Naturally enough, his features were pale, his chest contracted, and his muscles undeveloped. His aunts thought him delicate; what he really needed was discipline.

I wouldn’t have minded as much if he had been a really studious kid, but he neither played hard nor worked hard. His favorite activities were lounging on the terrace in a comfy chair and strolling along the road, dragging his feet in the dust and slumping his shoulders. Unsurprisingly, his face was pale, his chest was sunken, and his muscles were weak. His aunts thought he was delicate; what he really needed was some discipline.

That memorable day we all arranged to go for a picnic up in the chestnut woods—all, that is, except Janet, who stopped behind to finish her water-colour of the Cathedral—not a very successful attempt, I am afraid.

That memorable day we all planned to have a picnic in the chestnut woods—everyone except Janet, who stayed behind to finish her watercolor of the Cathedral—not a very successful attempt, I’m afraid.

I wander off into these irrelevant details, because in my mind I cannot separate them from an account of the day; and it is the same with the conversation during the picnic: all is imprinted on my brain together. After a couple of hours' ascent, we left the donkeys that had carried the Miss Robinsons and my wife, and all proceeded on foot to the head of the valley—Vallone Fontana Caroso is its proper name, I find.

I get lost in these irrelevant details because, in my mind, I can't separate them from what happened that day; the same goes for the conversation during the picnic: everything is burned into my memory together. After a couple of hours of climbing, we left the donkeys that had been carrying the Miss Robinsons and my wife, and we all continued on foot to the end of the valley—its proper name is Vallone Fontana Caroso, as I’ve learned.

I have visited a good deal of fine scenery before and since, but have found little that has pleased me more. The valley ended in a vast hollow, shaped like a cup, into which radiated ravines from the precipitous hills around. Both the valley and the ravines and the ribs of hill that divided the ravines were covered with leafy chestnut, so that the general appearance was that of a many fingered green hand, palm upwards, which was clutching convulsively to keep us in its grasp. Far down the valley we could see Ravello and the sea, but that was the only sign of another world.

I have seen a lot of beautiful scenery before and after, but I haven't found much that has impressed me more than this. The valley opened up into a large hollow, shaped like a cup, with steep ravines coming from the surrounding hills. Both the valley and the ravines, along with the ridges of hills that split the ravines, were covered in leafy chestnut trees, giving the whole scene the look of a many-fingered green hand, palm facing up, gripping tightly to hold us in its embrace. Far down the valley, we could see Ravello and the sea, but that was the only hint of another world.

"Oh, what a perfectly lovely place," said my daughter Rose. "What a picture it would make!"

"Oh, what a beautiful place!" said my daughter Rose. "What a great picture it would make!"

"Yes," said Mr. Sandbach. "Many a famous European gallery would be proud to have a landscape a tithe as beautiful as this upon its walls."

"Yes," said Mr. Sandbach. "Many well-known European galleries would be proud to showcase a landscape as beautiful as this on their walls."

"On the contrary," said Leyland, "it would make a very poor picture. Indeed, it is not paintable at all."

"On the contrary," said Leyland, "it would make a really bad picture. In fact, it can't be painted at all."

"And why is that?" said Rose, with far more deference than he deserved.

"And why is that?" Rose asked, showing much more respect than he deserved.

"Look, in the first place," he replied, "how intolerably straight against the sky is the line of the hill. It would need breaking up and diversifying. And where we are standing the whole thing is out of perspective. Besides, all the colouring is monotonous and crude."

"First of all," he said, "just look how harshly the line of the hill cuts against the sky. It needs to be broken up and varied. From where we’re standing, everything looks off. Plus, all the colors are dull and harsh."

"I do not know anything about pictures," I put in, "and I do not pretend to know: but I know what is beautiful when I see it, and I am thoroughly content with this."

"I don't know anything about art," I said, "and I’m not trying to pretend I do. But I know what looks beautiful when I see it, and I'm totally fine with that."

"Indeed, who could help being contented!" said the elder Miss Robinson and Mr. Sandbach said the same.

"Honestly, who could help but feel happy!" said the older Miss Robinson, and Mr. Sandbach agreed.

"Ah!" said Leyland, "you all confuse the artistic view of nature with the photographic."

"Ah!" Leyland said, "You all mix up the artistic perspective of nature with the photographic one."

Poor Rose had brought her camera with her, so I thought this positively rude. I did not wish any unpleasantness; so I merely turned away and assisted my wife and Miss Mary Robinson to put out the lunch—not a very nice lunch.

Poor Rose had brought her camera with her, which I thought was pretty rude. I didn't want any awkwardness, so I just turned away and helped my wife and Miss Mary Robinson set up the lunch—not a very great lunch.

"Eustace, dear," said his aunt, "come and help us here."

"Eustace, sweetheart," his aunt said, "come and help us out here."

He was in a particularly bad temper that morning. He had, as usual, not wanted to come, and his aunts had nearly allowed him to stop at the hotel to vex Janet. But I, with their permission, spoke to him rather sharply on the subject of exercise; and the result was that he had come, but was even more taciturn and moody than usual.

He was in a really bad mood that morning. As usual, he didn’t want to come, and his aunts had almost let him stay at the hotel to annoy Janet. But I, with their okay, talked to him a bit sharply about getting exercise; so he came, but he was even more silent and grumpy than usual.

Obedience was not his strong point. He invariably questioned every command, and only executed it grumbling. I should always insist on prompt and cheerful obedience, if I had a son.

Obedience wasn't his strong suit. He always questioned every order and only followed them while complaining. I would always expect quick and willing obedience if I had a son.

"I'm—coming—Aunt—Mary," he at last replied, and dawdled to cut a piece of wood to make a whistle, taking care not to arrive till we had finished.

"I'm on my way, Aunt Mary," he finally replied, and took his time cutting a piece of wood to make a whistle, making sure he wouldn’t get there until we were done.

"Well, well, sir!" said I, "you stroll in at the end and profit by our labours." He sighed, for he could not endure being chaffed. Miss Mary, very unwisely, insisted on giving him the wing of the chicken, in spite of all my attempts to prevent her. I remember that I had a moment's vexation when I thought that, instead of enjoying the sun, and the air, and the woods, we were all engaged in wrangling over the diet of a spoilt boy.

"Well, well, sir!" I said, "you show up at the end and benefit from our hard work." He sighed because he couldn't handle being teased. Miss Mary, very unwisely, insisted on giving him the chicken wing, despite all my efforts to stop her. I remember feeling a moment of frustration when I realized that instead of enjoying the sunshine, the fresh air, and the woods, we were all wrapped up in arguing over the meal of a spoiled kid.

But, after lunch, he was a little less in evidence. He withdrew to a tree trunk, and began to loosen the bark from his whistle. I was thankful to see him employed, for once in a way. We reclined, and took a dolce far niente.

But after lunch, he was a bit less present. He moved to a tree trunk and started peeling the bark from his whistle. I was glad to see him busy for a change. We lounged around and enjoyed a little dolce far niente.

Those sweet chestnuts of the South are puny striplings compared with our robust Northerners. But they clothed the contours of the hills and valleys in a most pleasing way, their veil being only broken by two clearings, in one of which we were sitting.

Those sweet chestnuts from the South are small compared to our strong Northerners. But they covered the shapes of the hills and valleys in a really beautiful way, with their cover only interrupted by two clearings, one of which we were sitting in.

And because these few trees were cut down, Leyland burst into a petty indictment of the proprietor.

And because these few trees were cut down, Leyland launched into a trivial complaint against the owner.

"All the poetry is going from Nature," he cried, "her lakes and marshes are drained, her seas banked up, her forests cut down. Everywhere we see the vulgarity of desolation spreading."

"All the poetry is leaving Nature," he exclaimed, "her lakes and marshes are drained, her seas are contained, and her forests are chopped down. Everywhere we see the ugliness of emptiness spreading."

I have had some experience of estates, and answered that cutting was very necessary for the health of the larger trees. Besides, it was unreasonable to expect the proprietor to derive no income from his lands.

I have some experience with estates, and I replied that cutting was essential for the health of the larger trees. Moreover, it was unfair to expect the owner to make no income from his land.

"If you take the commercial side of landscape, you may feel pleasure in the owner's activity. But to me the mere thought that a tree is convertible into cash is disgusting."

"If you look at landscaping from a business perspective, you might find enjoyment in what the owner does. But for me, just thinking about turning a tree into money is repulsive."

"I see no reason," I observed politely, "to despise the gifts of Nature, because they are of value."

"I don't see any reason," I said politely, "to look down on the gifts of Nature just because they have value."

It did not stop him. "It is no matter," he went on, "we are all hopelessly steeped in vulgarity. I do not except myself. It is through us, and to our shame, that the Nereids have left the waters and the Oreads the mountains, that the woods no longer give shelter to Pan."

It didn’t hold him back. “It doesn’t matter,” he continued, “we're all hopelessly caught up in commonness. I’m no exception. It’s because of us, and to our disgrace, that the Nereids have abandoned the waters and the Oreads the mountains, and that the woods no longer provide refuge for Pan.”

"Pan!" cried Mr. Sandbach, his mellow voice filling the valley as if it had been a great green church, "Pan is dead. That is why the woods do not shelter him." And he began to tell the striking story of the mariners who were sailing near the coast at the time of the birth of Christ, and three times heard a loud voice saying: "The great God Pan is dead."

"Pan!" shouted Mr. Sandbach, his warm voice echoing through the valley like it was a huge green church, "Pan is dead. That’s why the woods don’t protect him." And he started to share the remarkable story of the sailors who were near the coast when Christ was born, and three times heard a booming voice saying: "The great God Pan is dead."

"Yes. The great God Pan is dead," said Leyland. And he abandoned himself to that mock misery in which artistic people are so fond of indulging. His cigar went out, and he had to ask me for a match.

"Yeah. The great God Pan is dead," Leyland said. And he surrendered to that feigned sorrow that artistic types love to indulge in. His cigar went out, and he had to ask me for a match.

"How very interesting," said Rose. "I do wish I knew some ancient history."

"That's really interesting," said Rose. "I wish I knew more about ancient history."

"It is not worth your notice," said Mr. Sandbach. "Eh, Eustace?"

"It isn't worth your attention," said Mr. Sandbach. "Right, Eustace?"

Eustace was finishing his whistle. He looked up, with the irritable frown in which his aunts allowed him to indulge, and made no reply.

Eustace was wrapping up his whistling. He glanced up, wearing the annoyed frown his aunts let him have, and didn’t say anything.

The conversation turned to various topics and then died out. It was a cloudless afternoon in May, and the pale green of the young chestnut leaves made a pretty contrast with the dark blue of the sky. We were all sitting at the edge of the small clearing for the sake of the view, and the shade of the chestnut saplings behind us was manifestly insufficient. All sounds died away—at least that is my account: Miss Robinson says that the clamour of the birds was the first sign of uneasiness that she discerned. All sounds died away, except that, far in the distance, I could hear two boughs of a great chestnut grinding together as the tree swayed. The grinds grew shorter and shorter, and finally that sound stopped also. As I looked over the green fingers of the valley, everything was absolutely motionless and still; and that feeling of suspense which one so often experiences when Nature is in repose, began to steal over me.

The conversation shifted through different topics and eventually faded. It was a clear afternoon in May, and the light green of the young chestnut leaves contrasted beautifully with the dark blue sky. We were all sitting at the edge of the small clearing to enjoy the view, and the shade from the chestnut saplings behind us was definitely not enough. All sounds faded away—at least that's how I remember it: Miss Robinson claims that the noise of the birds was the first sign of unease she noticed. Everything went quiet, except for the distant sound of two branches of a large chestnut tree rubbing against each other as the tree swayed. The grinding noise became shorter and shorter until it stopped completely. As I gazed over the green fingers of the valley, everything was perfectly still and motionless; that feeling of suspense, which often comes when Nature is at rest, began to wash over me.

Suddenly, we were all electrified by the excruciating noise of Eustace's whistle. I never heard any instrument give forth so ear-splitting and discordant a sound.

Suddenly, we were all jolted by the painful noise of Eustace's whistle. I've never heard any instrument produce such a deafening and dissonant sound.

"Eustace, dear," said Miss Mary Robinson, "you might have thought of your poor Aunt Julia's head."

"Eustace, dear," said Miss Mary Robinson, "you could have considered your poor Aunt Julia's head."

Leyland who had apparently been asleep, sat up.

Leyland, who had apparently been asleep, sat up.

"It is astonishing how blind a boy is to anything that is elevating or beautiful," he observed. "I should not have thought he could have found the wherewithal out here to spoil our pleasure like this."

"It’s amazing how unaware a boy can be of anything uplifting or beautiful," he said. "I never would have thought he could find a way to ruin our enjoyment like this."

Then the terrible silence fell upon us again. I was now standing up and watching a catspaw of wind that was running down one of the ridges opposite, turning the light green to dark as it travelled. A fanciful feeling of foreboding came over me; so I turned away, to find to my amazement, that all the others were also on their feet, watching it too.

Then the awful silence settled over us again. I was now standing up and watching a gust of wind moving down one of the ridges across from us, making the light shift from green to dark as it went. A strange feeling of dread washed over me, so I turned away, only to be surprised to see that everyone else was also standing, watching it as well.

It is not possible to describe coherently what happened next: but I, for one, am not ashamed to confess that, though the fair blue sky was above me, and the green spring woods beneath me, and the kindest of friends around me, yet I became terribly frightened, more frightened than I ever wish to become again, frightened in a way I never have known either before or after. And in the eyes of the others, too, I saw blank, expressionless fear, while their mouths strove in vain to speak and their hands to gesticulate. Yet, all around us were prosperity, beauty, and peace, and all was motionless, save the catspaw of wind, now travelling up the ridge on which we stood.

It's hard to explain what happened next: but I'm not ashamed to admit that, even though the clear blue sky was above me, the green spring woods were below me, and the kindest of friends were around me, I became really terrified, more terrified than I ever want to be again, scared in a way I'd never experienced before or since. In the eyes of the others, I saw the same blank, emotionless fear, as they struggled to speak and their hands attempted to gesture. Yet, all around us were signs of prosperity, beauty, and peace, and everything was still, except for the light breeze traveling up the ridge where we stood.

Who moved first has never been settled. It is enough to say that in one second we were tearing away along the hillside. Leyland was in front, then Mr. Sandbach, then my wife. But I only saw for a brief moment; for I ran across the little clearing and through the woods and over the undergrowth and the rocks and down the dry torrent beds into the valley below. The sky might have been black as I ran, and the trees short grass, and the hillside a level road; for I saw nothing and heard nothing and felt nothing, since all the channels of sense and reason were blocked. It was not the spiritual fear that one has known at other times, but brutal overmastering physical fear, stopping up the ears, and dropping clouds before the eyes, and filling the mouth with foul tastes. And it was no ordinary humiliation that survived; for I had been afraid, not as a man, but as a beast.

Who moved first has never been agreed upon. It's enough to say that in one second, we were racing down the hillside. Leyland was in front, then Mr. Sandbach, then my wife. But I only caught a glimpse; I dashed across the small clearing, through the woods, over the underbrush and rocks, and down the dry stream beds into the valley below. The sky might as well have been black as I ran, and the trees mere grass, and the hillside a flat road; because I saw nothing, heard nothing, and felt nothing, as all my senses and reasoning were shut off. It wasn't the spiritual fear I'd experienced before; it was a raw, overpowering physical fear that blocked out sound, veiled my vision, and filled my mouth with bitter tastes. And the humiliation that lingered wasn't ordinary; I had been afraid, not like a man, but like a wild animal.

II

I cannot describe our finish any better than our start; for our fear passed away as it had come, without cause. Suddenly I was able to see, and hear, and cough, and clear my mouth. Looking back, I saw that the others were stopping too; and, in a short time, we were all together, though it was long before we could speak, and longer before we dared to.

I can’t describe our ending any better than our beginning; our fear disappeared just like it came, for no reason. Suddenly, I could see, hear, cough, and clear my throat. Looking back, I noticed the others were stopping too; soon, we were all together, but it took a while before we could speak, and even longer before we felt brave enough to.

No one was seriously injured. My poor wife had sprained her ankle, Leyland had torn one of his nails on a tree trunk, and I myself had scraped and damaged my ear. I never noticed it till I had stopped.

No one was seriously hurt. My poor wife had twisted her ankle, Leyland had torn one of his nails on a tree trunk, and I had scraped and hurt my ear. I didn't notice it until I had stopped.

We were all silent, searching one another's faces. Suddenly Miss Mary Robinson gave a terrible shriek. "Oh, merciful heavens! where is Eustace?" And then she would have fallen, if Mr. Sandbach had not caught her.

We all went quiet, looking at each other’s faces. Suddenly, Miss Mary Robinson let out a loud scream. "Oh, merciful heavens! Where is Eustace?" She would have collapsed if Mr. Sandbach hadn't caught her.

"We must go back, we must go back at once," said my Rose, who was quite the most collected of the party. "But I hope—I feel he is safe."

"We need to go back right now," said my Rose, who was the most composed of the group. "But I hope—I believe he’s safe."

Such was the cowardice of Leyland, that he objected. But, finding himself in a minority, and being afraid of being left alone, he gave in. Rose and I supported my poor wife, Mr. Sandbach and Miss Robinson helped Miss Mary, and we returned slowly and silently, taking forty minutes to ascend the path that we had descended in ten.

Such was Leyland's cowardice that he protested. But, realizing he was in the minority and afraid of being left alone, he conceded. Rose and I supported my poor wife, while Mr. Sandbach and Miss Robinson assisted Miss Mary, and we made our way back slowly and quietly, taking forty minutes to climb the path that we had descended in ten.

Our conversation was naturally disjointed, as no one wished to offer an opinion on what had happened. Rose was the most talkative: she startled us all by saying that she had very nearly stopped where she was.

Our conversation was kind of all over the place, as nobody wanted to share their thoughts on what had happened. Rose was the most chatty: she surprised us all by saying that she almost just stayed where she was.

"Do you mean to say that you weren't—that you didn't feel compelled to go?" said Mr. Sandbach.

"Are you saying that you weren't—that you didn't feel like you had to go?" Mr. Sandbach said.

"Oh, of course, I did feel frightened"—she was the first to use the word—"but I somehow felt that if I could stop on it would be quite different, that I shouldn't be frightened at all, so to speak." Rose never did express herself clearly: still, it is greatly to her credit that she, the youngest of us, should have held on so long at that terrible time.

"Oh, of course, I felt scared"—she was the first to say it—"but I somehow thought that if I could keep going, it would be completely different, and I wouldn't be scared at all, so to speak." Rose never expressed herself clearly: still, it's a huge credit to her that she, the youngest of us, managed to hold on for so long during that awful time.

"I should have stopped, I do believe," she continued, "if I had not seen mamma go."

"I think I should have stopped," she went on, "if I hadn't seen mom leave."

Rose's experience comforted us a little about Eustace. But a feeling of terrible foreboding was on us all, as we painfully climbed the chestnut-covered slopes and neared the little clearing. When we reached it our tongues broke loose. There, at the further side, were the remains of our lunch, and close to them, lying motionless on his back, was Eustace.

Rose's experience gave us some comfort about Eustace. But we all felt a terrible sense of dread as we struggled up the chestnut-covered slopes and got closer to the little clearing. When we finally reached it, we couldn't hold back our words anymore. There, on the other side, were the leftovers from our lunch, and nearby, lying still on his back, was Eustace.

With some presence of mind I at once cried out: "Hey, you young monkey! jump up!" But he made no reply, nor did he answer when his poor aunts spoke to him. And, to my unspeakable horror, I saw one of those green lizards dart out from under his shirt-cuff as we approached.

With a bit of quick thinking, I shouted, "Hey, you little monkey! Jump up!" But he didn’t respond, and he didn’t reply when his poor aunts talked to him either. To my complete horror, I saw one of those green lizards dart out from under his shirt cuff as we got closer.

We stood watching him as he lay there so silently, and my ears began to tingle in expectation of the outbursts of lamentations and tears.

We stood watching him as he lay there so quietly, and my ears started to tingle, anticipating the bursts of grief and tears.

Miss Mary fell on her knees beside him and touched his hand, which was convulsively entwined in the long grass.

Miss Mary dropped to her knees beside him and touched his hand, which was tightly tangled in the long grass.

As she did so, he opened his eyes and smiled.

As she did that, he opened his eyes and smiled.

I have often seen that peculiar smile since, both on the possessor's face and on the photographs of him that are beginning to get into the illustrated papers. But, till then, Eustace had always worn a peevish, discontented frown; and we were all unused to this disquieting smile, which always seemed to be without adequate reason.

I have often noticed that strange smile since then, both on the person’s face and in the photos of him that are starting to appear in magazines. But until that point, Eustace had always had a whiny, unhappy frown; and we were all unaccustomed to this unsettling smile, which always seemed to lack a good reason.

His aunts showered kisses on him, which he did not reciprocate, and then there was an awkward pause, Eustace seemed so natural and undisturbed, yet, if he had not had astonishing experiences himself, he ought to have been all the more astonished at our extraordinary behaviour. My wife, with ready tact, endeavoured to behave as if nothing had happened.

His aunts covered him with kisses, which he didn’t return, and then there was an uncomfortable silence. Eustace looked so calm and unfazed, but if he hadn’t had incredible experiences of his own, he should have been even more surprised by our strange behavior. My wife quickly tried to act like nothing was wrong.

"Well, Mr. Eustace," she said, sitting down as she spoke, to ease her foot, "how have you been amusing yourself since we have been away?"

"Well, Mr. Eustace," she said, sitting down as she spoke to relieve her foot, "how have you been keeping yourself entertained while we were gone?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Tytler, I have been very happy."

"Thank you, Mrs. Tytler, I’ve been really happy."

"And where have you been?"

"Where have you been?"

"Here."

"Here."

"And lying down all the time, you idle boy?"

"And you’re just lying around all the time, you lazy boy?"

"No, not all the time."

"No, not always."

"What were you doing before?"

"What were you up to?"

"Oh; standing or sitting."

"Oh; standing or seated."

"Stood and sat doing nothing! Don't you know the poem 'Satan finds some mischief still for——'"

"Just standing and sitting around doing nothing! Don't you know the poem 'Satan finds some mischief still for——'"

"Oh, my dear madam, hush! hush!" Mr. Sandbach's voice broke in; and my wife, naturally mortified by the interruption, said no more and moved away. I was surprised to see Rose immediately take her place, and, with more freedom than she generally displayed, run her fingers through the boy's tousled hair.

"Oh, my dear, please be quiet!" Mr. Sandbach interrupted. My wife, understandably embarrassed by the interruption, stopped speaking and stepped back. I was surprised to see Rose instantly take her spot and, with more confidence than she usually showed, run her fingers through the boy's messy hair.

"Eustace! Eustace!" she said, hurriedly, "tell me everything—every single thing."

"Eustace! Eustace!" she said quickly, "tell me everything—every single detail."

Slowly he sat up—till then he had lain on his back.

Slowly, he sat up—until then, he had been lying on his back.

"Oh, Rose," he whispered, and, my curiosity being aroused, I moved nearer to hear what he was going to say. As I did so, I caught sight of some goats' footmarks in the moist earth beneath the trees.

"Oh, Rose," he whispered, and since I was curious, I stepped closer to hear what he was about to say. As I did, I noticed some goat tracks in the damp ground under the trees.

"Apparently you have had a visit from some goats," I observed. "I had no idea they fed up here."

"Looks like you've had some goats stop by," I noted. "I didn't know they grazed up here."

Eustace laboriously got on to his feet and came to see; and when he saw the footmarks he lay down and rolled on them, as a dog rolls in dirt.

Eustace struggled to get to his feet and came over to look; and when he saw the footprints, he lay down and rolled in them, like a dog rolling in dirt.

After that there was a grave silence, broken at length by the solemn speech of Mr. Sandbach.

After that, there was a heavy silence, eventually broken by Mr. Sandbach's serious speech.

"My dear friends," he said, "it is best to confess the truth bravely. I know that what I am going to say now is what you are all now feeling. The Evil One has been very near us in bodily form. Time may yet discover some injury that he has wrought among us. But, at present, for myself at all events, I wish to offer up thanks for a merciful deliverance."

"My dear friends," he said, "it's best to face the truth head-on. I know what I'm about to say is what all of you are feeling right now. The Evil One has been very close to us in physical form. In time, we may uncover some harm he has done among us. But for now, at least for me, I want to express my gratitude for a merciful escape."

With that he knelt down, and, as the others knelt, I knelt too, though I do not believe in the Devil being allowed to assail us in visible form, as I told Mr. Sandbach afterwards. Eustace came too, and knelt quietly enough between his aunts after they had beckoned to him. But when it was over he at once got up, and began hunting for something.

With that, he knelt down, and as everyone else knelt, I knelt too, even though I don't believe the Devil should be allowed to attack us in a visible form, as I mentioned to Mr. Sandbach later. Eustace also came and knelt quietly enough between his aunts after they signaled him. But as soon as it was over, he got back up and started looking for something.

"Why! Someone has cut my whistle in two," he said. (I had seen Leyland with an open knife in his hand—a superstitious act which I could hardly approve.)

"Wow! Someone has cut my whistle in half," he said. (I had seen Leyland with a knife in his hand—a superstitious act that I couldn't really support.)

"Well, it doesn't matter," he continued.

"Well, it doesn't matter," he said.

"And why doesn't it matter?" said Mr. Sandbach, who has ever since tried to entrap Eustace into an account of that mysterious hour.

"And why doesn't it matter?" Mr. Sandbach asked, who ever since has tried to get Eustace to share what happened during that mysterious hour.

"Because I don't want it any more."

"Because I don't want it anymore."

"Why?"

"Why?"

At that he smiled; and, as no one seemed to have anything more to say, I set off as fast as I could through the wood, and hauled up a donkey to carry my poor wife home. Nothing occurred in my absence, except that Rose had again asked Eustace to tell her what had happened; and he, this time, had turned away his head, and had not answered her a single word.

At that, he smiled; and since no one had anything more to say, I hurried through the woods and got a donkey to bring my poor wife home. Nothing happened while I was gone, except that Rose had asked Eustace again to explain what happened; and this time, he turned his head away and didn’t say a word to her.

As soon as I returned, we all set off. Eustace walked with difficulty, almost with pain, so that, when we reached the other donkeys, his aunts wished him to mount one of them and ride all the way home. I make it a rule never to interfere between relatives, but I put my foot down at this. As it turned out, I was perfectly right, for the healthy exercise, I suppose, began to thaw Eustace's sluggish blood and loosen his stiffened muscles. He stepped out manfully, for the first time in his life, holding his head up and taking deep draughts of air into his chest. I observed with satisfaction to Miss Mary Robinson, that Eustace was at last taking some pride in his personal appearance.

As soon as I got back, we all headed out. Eustace struggled to walk, nearly in pain, so when we reached the other donkeys, his aunts wanted him to get on one and ride all the way home. I usually try not to get involved in family matters, but I stepped in here. As it turned out, I was completely right, because the healthy exercise seemed to start reviving Eustace's sluggish blood and loosening his stiff muscles. For the first time in his life, he walked confidently, holding his head high and taking deep breaths. I happily pointed out to Miss Mary Robinson that Eustace was finally showing some pride in how he looked.

Mr. Sandbach sighed, and said that Eustace must be carefully watched, for we none of us understood him yet. Miss Mary Robinson being very much—over much, I think—guided by him, sighed too.

Mr. Sandbach sighed and said that Eustace needed to be watched closely, because none of us really understood him yet. Miss Mary Robinson, who was very much—perhaps overly—guided by him, sighed as well.

"Come, come. Miss Robinson," I said, "there's nothing wrong with Eustace. Our experiences are mysterious, not his. He was astonished at our sudden departure, that's why he was so strange when we returned. He's right enough—improved, if anything."

"Come on, Miss Robinson," I said, "Eustace is fine. Our experiences are the ones that are confusing, not his. He was shocked by our sudden leave, which is why he acted so oddly when we got back. He's perfectly fine—if anything, he's gotten better."

"And is the worship of athletics, the cult of insensate activity, to be counted as an improvement?" put in Leyland, fixing a large, sorrowful eye on Eustace, who had stopped to scramble on to a rock to pick some cyclamen. "The passionate desire to rend from Nature the few beauties that have been still left her—that is to be counted as an improvement too?"

"And is the worship of sports, this obsession with pointless action, really an improvement?" Leyland asked, fixing a large, sorrowful gaze on Eustace, who had paused to climb onto a rock to pick some cyclamen. "This intense desire to rip away the few remaining beauties of Nature—is that also considered an improvement?"

It is mere waste of time to reply to such remarks, especially when they come from an unsuccessful artist, suffering from a damaged finger. I changed the conversation by asking what we should say at the hotel. After some discussion, it was agreed that we should say nothing, either there or in our letters home. Importunate truth-telling, which brings only bewilderment and discomfort to the hearers, is, in my opinion, a mistake; and, after a long discussion, I managed to make Mr. Sandbach acquiesce in my view.

It's a complete waste of time to respond to comments like that, especially when they're from an unsuccessful artist who's dealing with a hurt finger. I shifted the conversation by asking what we should say at the hotel. After some debate, we agreed that we should say nothing, either to them or in our letters home. I believe that being overly honest, which only leads to confusion and discomfort for others, is a mistake; and after a lengthy discussion, I convinced Mr. Sandbach to agree with my perspective.

Eustace did not share in our conversation. He was racing about, like a real boy, in the wood to the right. A strange feeling of shame; prevented us from openly mentioning our fright to him. Indeed, it seemed almost reasonable to conclude that it had made but little impression on him. So it disconcerted us when he bounded back with an armful of flowering acanthus, calling out:

Eustace didn't join in our conversation. He was running around like a real boy in the woods to the right. A strange feeling of shame kept us from openly talking about our fear in front of him. In fact, it almost seemed like it hadn’t bothered him at all. So, it threw us off when he dashed back with a bunch of flowering acanthus, calling out:

"Do you suppose Gennaro'll be there when we get back?"

"Do you think Gennaro will be there when we get back?"

Gennaro was the stop-gap waiter, a clumsy, impertinent fisher-lad, who had been had up from Minori in the absence of the nice English-speaking Emmanuele. It was to him that we owed our scrappy lunch; and I could not conceive why Eustace desired to see him, unless it was to make mock with him of our behaviour.

Gennaro was the temporary waiter, a clumsy, cheeky fishing guy who had been brought up from Minori while the nice English-speaking Emmanuele was gone. We had him to thank for our makeshift lunch, and I couldn’t understand why Eustace wanted to see him, unless it was to ridicule us for our behavior.

"Yes, of course he will be there," said Miss Robinson. "Why do you ask, dear?"

"Yeah, of course he’ll be there," said Miss Robinson. "Why do you ask, dear?"

"Oh, I thought I'd like to see him."

"Oh, I thought I’d want to see him."

"And why?" snapped Mr. Sandbach.

"And why?" snapped Mr. Sandbach.

"Because, because I do, I do; because, because I do." He danced away into the darkening wood to the rhythm of his words.

"Because, because I do, I do; because, because I do." He danced off into the darkening woods, moving to the beat of his words.

"This is very extraordinary," said Mr. Sandbach. "Did he like Gennaro before?"

"This is really surprising," said Mr. Sandbach. "Did he like Gennaro before?"

"Gennaro has only been here two days," said Rose, "and I know that they haven't spoken to each other a dozen times."

"Gennaro has only been here for two days," Rose said, "and I know they haven't talked to each other more than a dozen times."

Each time Eustace returned from the wood his spirits were higher. Once he came whooping down on us as a wild Indian, and another time he made believe to be a dog. The last time he came back with a poor dazed hare, too frightened to move, sitting on his arm. He was getting too uproarious, I thought; and we were all glad to leave the wood, and start upon the steep staircase path that leads down into Ravello. It was late and turning dark; and we made all the speed we could, Eustace scurrying in front of us like a goat.

Each time Eustace returned from the woods, he was in a better mood. Once, he came charging down at us like a wild Indian, and another time, he pretended to be a dog. The last time he came back, he was carrying a poor, dazed hare that was too scared to move, sitting on his arm. I thought he was becoming a bit too wild, and we were all relieved to leave the woods and start down the steep staircase path that leads into Ravello. It was getting late and dark, so we hurried as fast as we could, with Eustace darting ahead of us like a goat.

Just where the staircase path debouches on the white high road, the next extraordinary incident of this extraordinary day occurred. Three old women were standing by the wayside. They, like ourselves, had come down from the woods, and they were resting their heavy bundles of fuel on the low parapet of the road. Eustace stopped in front of them, and, after a moment's deliberation, stepped forward and—kissed the left-hand one on the cheek!

Just as the staircase path opens up to the wide white road, the next surprising event of this remarkable day happened. Three elderly women were standing by the side of the road. Like us, they had come down from the woods, and they were resting their heavy bundles of firewood on the low wall along the road. Eustace paused in front of them, and after thinking for a moment, he stepped forward and kissed the woman on the left cheek!

"My good fellow!" exclaimed Mr. Sandbach, "are you quite crazy?"

"My good man!" exclaimed Mr. Sandbach, "are you out of your mind?"

Eustace said nothing, but offered the old woman some of his flowers, and then hurried on. I looked back; and the old woman's companions seemed as much astonished at the proceeding as we were. But she herself had put the flowers in her bosom, and was murmuring blessings.

Eustace didn't say anything, but he gave the old woman some of his flowers, then rushed off. I glanced back; the old woman's friends looked just as surprised by what had happened as we were. But she had tucked the flowers into her bosom and was softly whispering blessings.

This salutation of the old lady was the first example of Eustace's strange behaviour, and we were both surprised and alarmed. It was useless talking to him, for he either made silly replies, or else bounded away without replying at all.

This greeting from the old lady was the first sign of Eustace's odd behavior, and we were both shocked and worried. Talking to him was pointless, because he either gave ridiculous responses or just ran off without saying anything.

He made no reference on the way home to Gennaro, and I hoped that that was forgotten. But, when we came to the Piazza, in front of the Cathedral, he screamed out: "Gennaro! Gennaro!" at the top of his voice, and began running up the little alley that led to the hotel. Sure enough, there was Gennaro at the end of it, with his arms and legs sticking out of the nice little English-speaking waiter's dress suit, and a dirty fisherman's cap on his head—for, as the poor landlady truly said, however much she superintended his toilette, he always managed to introduce something incongruous into it before he had done.

He didn't mention Gennaro on the way home, and I hoped it was forgotten. But when we got to the Piazza, in front of the Cathedral, he shouted, "Gennaro! Gennaro!" at the top of his lungs and started running up the small alley that led to the hotel. Sure enough, there was Gennaro at the end of it, arms and legs sticking out of the nice little English-speaking waiter's suit, with a dirty fisherman's cap on his head—because, as the poor landlady rightly said, no matter how much she supervised his outfit, he always managed to add something mismatched before he was done.

Eustace sprang to meet him, and leapt right up into his arms, and put his own arms round his neck. And this in the presence, not only of us, but also of the landlady, the chambermaid, the facchino, and of two American ladies who were coming for a few days' visit to the little hotel.

Eustace jumped to greet him, leaping straight into his arms and wrapping his own arms around his neck. This happened not just in front of us, but also in front of the landlady, the chambermaid, the bellhop, and two American ladies who were visiting the little hotel for a few days.

I always make a point of behaving pleasantly to Italians, however little they may deserve it; but this habit of promiscuous intimacy was perfectly intolerable and could only lead to familiarity and mortification for all. Taking Miss Robinson aside, I asked her permission to speak seriously to Eustace on the subject of intercourse with social inferiors. She granted it; but I determined to wait till the absurd boy had calmed down a little from the excitement of the day. Meanwhile, Gennaro, instead of attending to the wants of the two new ladies, carried Eustace into the house, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

I always make it a point to be nice to Italians, no matter how little they might deserve it; but this habit of casual intimacy was completely unacceptable and could only lead to discomfort and embarrassment for everyone involved. Taking Miss Robinson aside, I asked her if I could have a serious conversation with Eustace about interacting with people from lower social classes. She agreed; but I decided to wait until the ridiculous boy had calmed down a bit from the excitement of the day. In the meantime, Gennaro, instead of taking care of the two new ladies, carried Eustace into the house as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"Ho capito," I heard him say as he passed me. 'Ho capito' is the Italian for 'I have understood'; but, as Eustace had not spoken to him, I could not see the force of the remark. It served to increase our bewilderment, and, by the time we sat down at the dinner-table, our imaginations and our tongues were alike exhausted.

"I get it," I heard him say as he walked by me. 'I get it' is the Italian for 'I have understood'; but since Eustace hadn’t said anything to him, I didn’t understand why he said that. It only added to our confusion, and by the time we sat down at the dinner table, our minds and our voices were both worn out.

I omit from this account the various comments that were made, as few of them seem worthy of being recorded. But, for three or four hours, seven of us were pouring forth our bewilderment in a stream of appropriate and inappropriate exclamations. Some traced a connection between our behaviour in the afternoon and the behaviour of Eustace now. Others saw no connexion at all. Mr. Sandbach still held to the possibility of infernal influences, and also said that he ought to have a doctor. Leyland only saw the development of "that unspeakable Philistine, the boy." Rose maintained, to my surprise, that everything was excusable; while I began to see that the young gentleman wanted a sound thrashing. The poor Miss Robinsons swayed helplessly about between these diverse opinions; inclining now to careful supervision, now to acquiescence, now to corporal chastisement, now to Eno's Fruit Salt.

I’m leaving out the various comments that were made because most of them don’t seem worth mentioning. But for three or four hours, seven of us were expressing our confusion with a mix of appropriate and inappropriate reactions. Some linked our behavior in the afternoon to Eustace’s actions now, while others saw no connection at all. Mr. Sandbach still believed in the possibility of some kind of evil influence and mentioned that he needed to see a doctor. Leyland only focused on the rise of "that unspeakable Philistine, the boy." Rose, to my surprise, insisted that everything was excusable, while I started to think that the young man needed a good spanking. The poor Miss Robinsons were caught helplessly between these differing opinions, sometimes leaning towards careful supervision, other times agreeing, other times favoring punishment, and sometimes recommending Eno's Fruit Salt.

Dinner passed off fairly well, though Eustace was terribly fidgety, Gennaro as usual dropping the knives and spoons, and hawking and clearing his throat. He only knew a few words of English, and we were all reduced to Italian for making known our wants. Eustace, who had picked up a little somehow, asked for some oranges. To my annoyance, Gennaro, in his answer made use of the second person singular—a form only used when addressing those who are both intimates and equals. Eustace had brought it on himself; but an impertinence of this kind was an affront to us all, and I was determined to speak, and to speak at once.

Dinner went pretty well, although Eustace was really restless, Gennaro, as usual, kept dropping the knives and spoons and clearing his throat. He only knew a few words of English, so we all had to resort to Italian to express our needs. Eustace, who had managed to pick up a little bit somehow, asked for some oranges. To my annoyance, Gennaro replied using the informal "you," which is only used with friends and equals. Eustace had brought it on himself, but this kind of disrespect was offensive to all of us, and I was determined to say something about it, and fast.

When I heard him clearing the table I went in, and, summoning up my Italian, or rather Neapolitan—the Southern dialects are execrable—I said, "Gennaro! I heard you address Signor Eustace with 'Tu.'"

When I heard him clearing the table, I went in and, gathering my Italian—or more specifically, Neapolitan since the Southern dialects are terrible—I said, "Gennaro! I heard you call Signor Eustace 'Tu.'"

"It is true."

"It's true."

"You are not right. You must use 'Lei' or 'Voi'—more polite forms. And remember that, though Signor Eustace is sometimes silly and foolish—this afternoon for example—yet you must always behave respectfully to him; for he is a young English gentleman, and you are a poor Italian fisher-boy."

"You’re mistaken. You should use 'Lei' or 'Voi'—which are more polite forms. And keep in mind that, even though Signor Eustace can be silly and foolish—like this afternoon, for instance—you should always treat him with respect; he’s a young English gentleman, and you’re just a poor Italian fisher-boy."

I know that speech sounds terribly snobbish, but in Italian one can say things that one would never dream of saying in English. Besides, it is no good speaking delicately to persons of that class. Unless you put things plainly, they take a vicious pleasure in misunderstanding you.

I know that sounds really snobbish, but in Italian, you can express things you would never consider saying in English. Plus, there's no point in being delicate with people of that class. If you don’t speak plainly, they get a nasty kick out of misunderstanding you.

An honest English fisherman would have landed me one in the eye in a minute for such a remark, but the wretched down-trodden Italians have no pride. Gennaro only sighed, and said: "It is true."

An honest English fisherman would have punched me in the eye in a minute for such a comment, but the poor, downtrodden Italians have no pride. Gennaro only sighed and said, "It's true."

"Quite so," I said, and turned to go. To my indignation I heard him add: "But sometimes it is not important."

"Exactly," I said, and turned to leave. To my frustration, I heard him add: "But sometimes it doesn't matter."

"What do you mean?" I shouted.

"What do you mean?" I yelled.

He came close up to me with horrid gesticulating fingers.

He came right up to me with his creepy, waving fingers.

"Signor Tytler, I wish to say this. If Eustazio asks me to call him 'Voi,' I will call him 'Voi.' Otherwise, no."

"Mr. Tytler, I want to say this. If Eustazio asks me to call him 'You,' I will call him 'You.' If not, I won’t."

With that he seized up a tray of dinner things, and fled from the room with them; and I heard two more wine-glasses go on the court-yard floor.

With that, he grabbed a tray of dinner items and rushed out of the room with them; I heard two more wine glasses hit the courtyard floor.

I was now fairly angry, and strode out to interview Eustace. But he had gone to bed, and the landlady, to whom I also wished to speak, was engaged. After more vague wonderings, obscurely expressed owing to the presence of Janet and the two American ladies, we all went to bed, too, after a harassing and most extraordinary day.

I was pretty angry now, so I headed out to talk to Eustace. But he had already gone to bed, and the landlady, who I also wanted to speak with, was busy. After some vague wondering, which was hard to express because Janet and the two American ladies were around, we all went to bed too, after a stressful and really strange day.

III

But the day was nothing to the night.

But the day was nothing compared to the night.

I suppose I had slept for about four hours, when I woke suddenly thinking I heard a noise in the garden. And, immediately, before my eyes were open, cold terrible fear seized me—not fear of something that was happening, like the fear in the wood, but fear of something that might happen.

I think I had slept for about four hours when I suddenly woke up, thinking I heard a noise in the garden. Immediately, before my eyes were even open, a chilling, terrible fear took hold of me—not fear of something happening right now, like the fear I felt in the woods, but fear of something that could happen.

Our room was on the first floor, looking out on to the garden—or terrace, it was rather: a wedge-shaped block of ground covered with roses and vines, and intersected with little asphalt paths. It was bounded on the small side by the house; round the two long sides ran a wall, only three feet above the terrace level, but with a good twenty feet drop over it into the olive yards, for the ground fell very precipitously away.

Our room was on the first floor, overlooking the garden—or terrace, really: a wedge-shaped patch of land filled with roses and vines, crossed by little asphalt paths. It was bordered on the short side by the house; along the two long sides was a wall, just three feet above the terrace level, but with a drop of about twenty feet over it into the olive fields, as the ground sloped down sharply.

Trembling all over I stole to the window. There, pattering up and down the asphalt, paths, was something white. I was too much alarmed to see clearly; and in the uncertain light of the stars the thing took all manner of curious shapes. Now it was a great dog, now an enormous white bat, now a mass of quickly travelling cloud. It would bounce like a ball, or take short flights like a bird, or glide slowly; like a wraith. It gave no sound—save the pattering sound of what, after all, must be human feet. And at last the obvious explanation forced itself upon my disordered mind; and I realized that Eustace had got out of bed, and that we were in for something more.

Trembling all over, I crept to the window. Outside, something white was moving up and down the asphalt pathways. I was too shaken to see clearly; in the dim light of the stars, it took on all sorts of strange shapes. At one moment it looked like a big dog, then an enormous white bat, and then a swirling mass of fast-moving cloud. It would bounce around like a ball, take short flights like a bird, or drift slowly like a ghost. It was silent—except for the pattering sound, which had to be human feet. Eventually, the obvious explanation pushed its way into my confused mind, and I realized that Eustace had gotten out of bed, and we were in for something more.

I hastily dressed myself, and went down into the dining-room which opened upon the terrace. The door was already unfastened. My terror had almost entirely passed away, but for quite five minutes I struggled with a curious cowardly feeling, which bade me not interfere with the poor strange boy, but leave him to his ghostly patterings, and merely watch him from the window, to see he took no harm.

I quickly got dressed and went down to the dining room that led out to the terrace. The door was already unlocked. My fear had mostly faded, but for about five minutes, I battled a strange feeling of cowardice that told me not to get involved with the poor, odd boy, but to just watch him from the window and make sure he didn’t get hurt.

But better impulses prevailed and, opening the door, I called out:

But better instincts took over and, opening the door, I called out:

"Eustace! what on earth are you doing? Come in at once."

"Eustace! What are you doing? Get in here right now."

He stopped his antics, and said: "I hate my bedroom. I could not stop in it, it is too small."

He stopped messing around and said, "I hate my bedroom. I can't stay in there; it's too small."

"Come! come! I'm tired of affectation. You've never complained of it before."

"Come on! I'm tired of the pretentiousness. You've never said anything about it before."

"Besides I can't see anything—no flowers, no leaves, no sky: only a stone wall." The outlook of Eustace's room certainly was limited; but, as I told him, he had never complained of it before.

"Besides, I can't see anything—no flowers, no leaves, no sky: just a stone wall." The view from Eustace's room was definitely restricted; but, as I told him, he had never complained about it before.

"Eustace, you talk like a child. Come in! Prompt obedience, if you please."

"Eustace, you sound like a child. Come in! Please obey quickly."

He did not move.

He didn't move.

"Very well: I shall carry you in by force." I added, and made a few steps towards him. But I was soon convinced of the futility of pursuing a boy through a tangle of asphalt paths, and went in instead, to call Mr. Sandbach and Leyland to my aid.

"Alright: I'm going to carry you in, whether you like it or not." I said, taking a few steps toward him. But I quickly realized how pointless it was to chase a kid through a maze of asphalt paths, so I went inside to get Mr. Sandbach and Leyland to help me.

When I returned with them he was worse than ever. He would not even answer us when we spoke, but began singing and chattering to himself in a most alarming way.

When I came back with them, he was worse than ever. He wouldn't even respond when we talked to him; instead, he started singing and talking to himself in a really concerning way.

"It's a case for the doctor now," said Mr. Sandbach, gravely tapping his forehead.

"It's a case for the doctor now," Mr. Sandbach said, seriously tapping his forehead.

He had stopped his running and was singing, first low, then loud—singing five-finger exercises, scales, hymn tunes, scraps of Wagner—anything that came into his head. His voice—a very untuneful voice—grew stronger and stronger, and he ended with a tremendous shout which boomed like a gun among the mountains, and awoke everyone who was still sleeping in the hotel. My poor wife and the two girls appeared at their respective windows, and the American ladies were heard violently ringing their bell.

He had stopped running and was singing, first quietly, then loudly—singing warm-ups, scales, hymn tunes, bits of Wagner—whatever popped into his head. His voice—a very off-key voice—grew louder and stronger, and he finished with a huge shout that echoed like a gunshot among the mountains, waking everyone still asleep in the hotel. My poor wife and the two girls showed up at their windows, and the American ladies were heard urgently ringing their bell.

"Eustace," we all cried, "stop! stop, dear boy, and come into the house."

"Eustace," we all shouted, "stop! Stop, dear boy, and come inside."

He shook his head, and started off again—talking this time. Never have I listened to such an extraordinary speech. At any other time it would have been ludicrous, for here was a boy, with no sense of beauty and a puerile command of words, attempting to tackle themes which the greatest poets have found almost beyond their power. Eustace Robinson, aged fourteen, was standing in his nightshirt saluting, praising, and blessing, the great forces and manifestations of Nature.

He shook his head and started off again—this time talking. I’ve never heard such an extraordinary speech. At any other time, it would have been ridiculous because here’s a boy with no sense of beauty and a childish grasp of words trying to take on themes that even the greatest poets have found almost impossible. Eustace Robinson, aged fourteen, was standing there in his nightshirt, saluting, praising, and blessing the great forces and manifestations of Nature.

He spoke first of night and the stars and planets above his head, of the swarms of fire-flies below him, of the invisible sea below the fire-flies, of the great rocks covered with anemones and shells that were slumbering in the invisible sea. He spoke of the rivers and water-falls, of the ripening bunches of grapes, of the smoking cone of Vesuvius and the hidden fire-channels that made the smoke, of the myriads of lizards who were lying curled up in the crannies of the sultry earth, of the showers of white rose-leaves that were tangled in his hair. And then he spoke of the rain and the wind by which all things are changed, of the air through which all things live, and of the woods in which all things can be hidden.

He talked first about the night and the stars and planets shimmering above him, the swarms of fireflies below, the unseen sea beneath the fireflies, and the big rocks covered with anemones and shells resting in that invisible sea. He mentioned the rivers and waterfalls, the ripening bunches of grapes, the smoking cone of Vesuvius and the hidden fire channels producing the smoke, the countless lizards curled up in the warm earth's crevices, and the showers of white rose petals tangled in his hair. Then he spoke of the rain and wind that change everything, the air that sustains all life, and the woods where everything can find shelter.

Of course, it was all absurdly high fainting: yet I could have kicked Leyland for audibly observing that it was 'a diabolical caricature of all that was most holy and beautiful in life.'

Of course, it was all ridiculously dramatic: yet I could have kicked Leyland for loudly saying that it was 'a terrible mockery of everything that was most sacred and beautiful in life.'

"And then,"—Eustace was going on in the pitiable conversational doggerel which was his only mode of expression—"and then there are men, but I can't make them out so well." He knelt down by the parapet, and rested his head on his arms.

"And then,"—Eustace continued in the sad, clumsy way he spoke—"and then there are guys, but I just can't figure them out very well." He knelt by the wall and rested his head on his arms.

"Now's the time," whispered Leyland. I hate stealth, but we darted forward and endeavoured to catch hold of him from behind. He was away in a twinkling, but turned round at once to look at us. As far as I could see in the starlight, he was crying. Leyland rushed at him again, and we tried to corner him among the asphalt paths, but without the slightest approach to success.

"Now's the time," Leyland whispered. I hate being stealthy, but we rushed forward and tried to grab him from behind. He was gone in an instant, but turned around immediately to look at us. As far as I could see in the starlight, he was crying. Leyland charged at him again, and we tried to trap him among the paved paths, but we had no success at all.

We returned, breathless and discomfited, leaving him to his madness in the further corner of the terrace. But my Rose had an inspiration.

We came back, out of breath and uncomfortable, leaving him to his madness in the far corner of the terrace. But my Rose had an idea.

"Papa," she called from the window, "if you get Gennaro, he might be able to catch him for you."

"Hey, Dad," she yelled from the window, "if you get Gennaro, he might be able to catch him for you."

I had no wish to ask a favour of Gennaro, but, as the landlady had by now appeared on the scene, I begged her to summon him from the charcoal-bin in which he slept, and make him try what he could do.

I didn't want to ask Gennaro for a favor, but since the landlady had shown up, I asked her to call him from the charcoal-bin where he slept and see what he could do.

She soon returned, and was shortly followed by Gennaro, attired in a dress coat, without either waistcoat, shirt, or vest, and a ragged pair of what had been trousers, cut short above the knees for purposes of wading. The landlady, who had quite picked up English ways, rebuked him for the incongruous and even indecent appearance which he presented.

She soon came back, and was quickly followed by Gennaro, dressed in a jacket but without a waistcoat, shirt, or vest, and wearing a worn-out pair of what used to be pants, now cut off above the knees for wading. The landlady, who had really adopted English customs, scolded him for his mismatched and even inappropriate look.

"I have a coat and I have trousers. What more do you desire?"

"I have a coat and I have pants. What else do you want?"

"Never mind, Signora Scafetti," I put in, "As there are no ladies here, it is not of the slightest consequence." Then, turning to Gennaro, I said: "The aunts of Signor Eustace wish you to fetch him into the house."

"Don't worry, Signora Scafetti," I said, "Since there are no ladies here, it doesn’t matter at all." Then, turning to Gennaro, I added, "Signor Eustace's aunts want you to bring him inside."

He did not answer.

He didn't answer.

"Do you hear me? He is not well. I order you to fetch him into the house."

"Do you hear me? He’s not doing well. I’m telling you to bring him inside."

"Fetch! fetch!" said Signora Scafetti, and shook him roughly by the arm.

"Go get it! Go get it!" said Signora Scafetti, shaking him roughly by the arm.

"Eustazio is well where he is."

"Eustazio is fine where he is."

"Fetch! fetch!" Signora Scafetti screamed, and let loose a flood of Italian, most of which, I am glad to say, I could not follow. I glanced up nervously at the girls' window, but they hardly know as much as I do, and I am thankful to say that none of us caught one word of Gennaro's answer.

"Fetch! Fetch!" Signora Scafetti shouted, and unleashed a torrent of Italian, most of which, I’m glad to say, I couldn’t understand. I looked up nervously at the girls' window, but they hardly know as much as I do, and I’m thankful to say that none of us caught a word of Gennaro's response.

The two yelled and shouted at each other for quite ten minutes, at the end of which Gennaro rushed back to his charcoal-bin and Signora Scafetti burst into tears, as well she might, for she greatly valued her English guests.

The two yelled and shouted at each other for about ten minutes, after which Gennaro rushed back to his charcoal bin and Signora Scafetti broke down in tears, as she understandably would, since she really valued her English guests.

"He says," she sobbed, "that Signer Eustace is well where he is, and that he will not fetch him. I can do no more."

"He says," she cried, "that Signer Eustace is doing fine where he is, and that he won't bring him back. There's nothing more I can do."

But I could, for, in my stupid British way, I have got some insight into the Italian character. I followed Mr. Gennaro to his place of repose, and found him wriggling down on to a dirty sack.

But I could, because in my clueless British way, I've gained some understanding of the Italian character. I followed Mr. Gennaro to his resting place and found him squirming down onto a filthy sack.

"I wish you to fetch Signor Eustace to me," I began.

"I'd like you to get Signor Eustace for me," I started.

He hurled at me an unintelligible reply.

He threw an unintelligible response at me.

"If you fetch him, I will give you this." And out of my pocket I took a new ten lira note.

"If you bring him to me, I’ll give you this." And I pulled a new ten lira note out of my pocket.

This time he did not answer.

This time he didn’t reply.

"This note is equal to ten lire in silver," I continued, for I knew that the poor-class Italian is unable to conceive of a single large sum.

"This note is worth ten lire in silver," I continued, because I knew that the working-class Italian can't grasp a single large amount.

"I know it."

"I get it."

"That is, two hundred soldi."

"That's two hundred soldi."

"I do not desire them. Eustazio is my friend."

"I don't want them. Eustazio is my friend."

I put the note into my pocket.

I slipped the note into my pocket.

"Besides, you would not give it me."

"Besides, you wouldn’t give it to me."

"I am an Englishman. The English always do what they promise."

"I’m an Englishman. English people always keep their promises."

"That is true." It is astonishing how the most dishonest of nations trust us. Indeed they often trust us more than we trust one another. Gennaro knelt up on his sack. It was too dark to see his face, but I could feel his warm garlicky breath coming out in gasps, and I knew that the eternal avarice of the South had laid hold upon him.

"That's true." It's amazing how the most dishonest nations trust us. In fact, they often trust us more than we trust each other. Gennaro knelt on his sack. It was too dark to see his face, but I could feel his warm, garlicky breath coming out in gasps, and I knew that the endless greed of the South had taken hold of him.

"I could not fetch Eustazio to the house. He might die there."

"I couldn't bring Eustazio to the house. He might die there."

"You need not do that," I replied patiently. "You need only bring him to me; and I will stand outside in the garden." And to this, as if it were something quite different, the pitiable youth consented.

"You don't have to do that," I replied patiently. "You just need to bring him to me; I'll wait outside in the garden." To this, as if it were something completely different, the poor guy agreed.

"But give me first the ten lire."

"But first, give me the ten lire."

"No,"—for I knew the kind of person with whom I had to deal. Once faithless, always faithless.

"No,"—because I knew the type of person I was dealing with. Once untrustworthy, always untrustworthy.

We returned to the terrace, and Gennaro, without a single word, pattered off towards the pattering that could be heard at the remoter end. Mr. Sandbach, Leyland, and myself moved away a little from the house, and stood in the shadow of the white climbing roses, practically invisible.

We went back to the terrace, and Gennaro, without saying a word, walked off toward the sound coming from the far end. Mr. Sandbach, Leyland, and I stepped away a bit from the house and stood in the shadow of the white climbing roses, nearly invisible.

We heard "Eustazio" called, followed by absurd cries of pleasure from the poor boy. The pattering ceased, and we heard them talking. Their voices got nearer, and presently I could discern them through the creepers, the grotesque figure of the young man, and the slim little white-robed boy. Gennaro had his arm round Eustace's neck, and Eustace was talking away in his fluent, slip-shod Italian.

We heard "Eustazio" being called, followed by ridiculous cries of pleasure from the poor kid. The noise stopped, and we could hear them talking. Their voices got closer, and soon I could see them through the vines, the strange figure of the young man, and the slim little boy in a white robe. Gennaro had his arm around Eustace's neck, and Eustace was chatting away in his casual, fluent Italian.

"I understand almost everything," I heard him say. "The trees, hills, stars, water, I can see all. But isn't it odd! I can't make out men a bit. Do you know what I mean?"

"I get almost everything," I heard him say. "The trees, hills, stars, water, I can see all of that. But isn't it strange? I can't figure out men at all. Do you know what I mean?"

"Ho capito," said Gennaro gravely, and took his arm off Eustace's shoulder. But I made the new note crackle in my pocket; and he heard it. He stuck his hand out with a jerk; and the unsuspecting Eustace gripped it in his own.

"Got it," Gennaro said seriously, and removed his arm from Eustace's shoulder. But I made the new bill crinkle in my pocket, and he heard it. He shot his hand out quickly, and the unsuspecting Eustace grabbed it in his own.

"It is odd!" Eustace went on—they were quite close now—"It almost seems as if—as if——"

"It’s strange!" Eustace continued—they were very close now—"It almost feels like—as if——"

I darted out and caught hold of his arm, and Leyland got hold of the other arm, and Mr. Sandbach hung on to his feet. He gave shrill heart-piercing screams; and the white roses, which were falling early that year, descended in showers on him as we dragged him into the house.

I rushed out and grabbed his arm, while Leyland grabbed the other arm, and Mr. Sandbach held onto his feet. He let out sharp, piercing screams, and the white roses, which were blooming early that year, fell in showers on him as we pulled him into the house.

As soon as we entered the house he stopped shrieking; but floods of tears silently burst forth, and spread over his upturned face.

As soon as we walked into the house, he stopped screaming; but tears started streaming down his face, soaking it as he looked up.

"Not to my room," he pleaded. "It is so small."

"Not my room," he begged. "It's way too small."

His infinitely dolorous look filled me with strange pity, but what could I do? Besides, his window was the only one that had bars to it.

His endlessly sad expression filled me with an unusual pity, but what could I do? Besides, his window was the only one with bars.

"Never mind, dear boy," said kind Mr. Sandbach. "I will bear you company till the morning."

"Don't worry about it, young man," said kind Mr. Sandbach. "I'll keep you company until morning."

At this his convulsive struggles began again. "Oh, please, not that. Anything but that. I will promise to lie still and not to cry more than I can help, if I am left alone."

At this, his frantic struggles started up again. "Oh, please, not that. Anything but that. I promise I'll stay still and won't cry more than I can help if you just leave me alone."

So we laid him on the bed, and drew the sheets over him, and left him sobbing bitterly, and saying: "I nearly saw everything, and now I can see nothing at all."

So we laid him on the bed, covered him with the sheets, and left him sobbing hard, saying, "I almost saw everything, and now I can't see anything at all."

We informed the Miss Robinsons of all that had happened, and returned to the dining-room, where we found Signora Scafetti and Gennaro whispering together. Mr. Sandbach got pen and paper, and began writing to the English doctor at Naples. I at once drew out the note, and flung it down on the table to Gennaro.

We told the Miss Robinsons everything that had happened and went back to the dining room, where we saw Signora Scafetti and Gennaro whispering together. Mr. Sandbach grabbed a pen and paper and started writing to the English doctor in Naples. I quickly pulled out the note and threw it down on the table for Gennaro.

"Here is your pay," I said sternly, for I was thinking of the Thirty Pieces of Silver.

"Here’s your pay," I said firmly, because I was thinking about the Thirty Pieces of Silver.

"Thank you very much, sir," said Gennaro, and grabbed it.

"Thank you so much, sir," said Gennaro, and took it.

He was going off, when Leyland, whose interest and indifference were always equally misplaced, asked him what Eustace had meant by saying 'he could not make out men a bit.'

He was leaving when Leyland, who always had a misplaced interest and indifference, asked him what Eustace meant by saying 'he couldn't figure men out at all.'

"I cannot say. Signor Eustazio—" (I was glad to observe a little deference at last) "has a subtle brain. He understands many things."

"I can't say. Mr. Eustazio—" (I was pleased to see a bit of respect at last) "has a sharp mind. He understands a lot."

"But I heard you say you understood," Leyland persisted.

"But I heard you say you understood," Leyland insisted.

"I understand, but I cannot explain. I am a poor Italian fisher-lad. Yet, listen: I will try." I saw to my alarm that his manner was changing, and tried to stop him. But he sat down on the edge of the table and started off, with some absolutely incoherent remarks.

"I get it, but I can't put it into words. I'm just a poor Italian fisherman. Still, hear me out: I'll do my best." I noticed with concern that his tone was shifting, and I tried to intervene. But he sat down on the edge of the table and began speaking with some completely confusing statements.

"It is sad," he observed at last. "What has happened is very sad. But what can I do? I am poor. It is not I."

"It’s really sad," he finally said. "What’s happened is really sad. But what can I do? I’m poor. It’s not my fault."

I turned away in contempt. Leyland went on asking questions. He wanted to know who it was that Eustace had in his mind when he spoke.

I turned away in disgust. Leyland kept asking questions. He wanted to know who Eustace was thinking about when he spoke.

"That is easy to say," Gennaro gravely answered. "It is you, it is I. It is all in this house, and many outside it. If he wishes for mirth, we discomfort him. If he asks to be alone, we disturb him. He longed for a friend, and found none for fifteen years. Then he found me, and the first night I—I who have been in the woods and understood things too—betray him to you, and send him in to die. But what could I do?"

"That's easy to say," Gennaro replied seriously. "It's you, it's me. It's everyone in this house, and many outside it. If he wants to have fun, we make him uncomfortable. If he wants to be alone, we interrupt him. He wanted a friend and didn’t find one for fifteen years. Then he found me, and on the first night I—I who have been in the woods and understood things too—betrayed him to you and sent him in to die. But what was I supposed to do?"

"Gently, gently," said I.

"Careful, careful," I said.

"Oh, assuredly he will die. He will lie in the small room all night, and in the morning he will be dead. That I know for certain."

"Oh, he’s definitely going to die. He’ll lie in that small room all night, and by morning, he’ll be dead. I know that for sure."

"There, that will do," said Mr. Sandbach. "I shall be sitting with him."

"There, that’s good," said Mr. Sandbach. "I’ll be sitting with him."

"Filomena Giusti sat all night with Caterina, but Caterina was dead in the morning. They would not let her out, though I begged, and prayed, and cursed, and beat the door, and climbed the wall. They were ignorant fools, and thought I wished to carry her away. And in the morning she was dead."

"Filomena Giusti sat with Caterina all night, but by morning, Caterina was dead. They wouldn't let me out, even though I begged, prayed, cursed, pounded on the door, and climbed the wall. They were ignorant fools who thought I wanted to take her away. And by morning, she was gone."

"What is all this?" I asked Signora Scafetti.

"What is all this?" I asked Mrs. Scafetti.

"All kinds of stories will get about," she replied, "and he, least of anyone, has reason to repeat them."

"All sorts of stories will spread," she replied, "and he, more than anyone, has no reason to share them."

"And I am alive now," he went on, "because I had neither parents nor relatives nor friends, so that, when the first night came, I could run through the woods, and climb the rocks, and plunge into the water, until I had accomplished my desire!"

"And I’m alive now," he continued, "because I didn’t have any parents, relatives, or friends, so when the first night came, I could run through the woods, climb the rocks, and jump into the water until I achieved my goal!"

We heard a cry from Eustace's room—a faint but steady sound, like the sound of wind in a distant wood, heard by one standing in tranquillity.

We heard a cry from Eustace's room—a faint but steady sound, like the wind rustling through a distant forest, heard by someone standing in peace.

"That," said Gennaro, "was the last noise of Caterina. I was hanging on to her window then, and it blew out past me."

"That," Gennaro said, "was the last sound of Caterina. I was holding onto her window then, and it flew past me."

And, lifting up his hand, in which my ten lira note was safely packed, he solemnly cursed Mr. Sandbach, and Leyland, and myself, and Fate, because Eustace was dying in the upstairs room. Such is the working of the Southern mind; and I verily believe that he would not have moved even then, had not Leyland, that unspeakable idiot, upset the lamp with his elbow. It was a patent self-extinguishing lamp, bought by Signora Scafetti, at my special request, to replace the dangerous thing that she was using. The result was, that it went out; and the mere physical change from light to darkness had more power over the ignorant animal nature of Gennaro than the most obvious dictates of logic and reason.

And, raising his hand, where my ten lira note was safely tucked away, he seriously cursed Mr. Sandbach, Leyland, and me, as well as Fate, because Eustace was dying in the room above. That’s how the Southern mind works; I honestly believe he wouldn’t have moved at all if Leyland, that complete idiot, hadn’t knocked over the lamp with his elbow. It was a self-extinguishing lamp, bought by Signora Scafetti at my special request to replace the dangerous one she had been using. As a result, it went out, and the simple change from light to darkness had more influence over the ignorant instincts of Gennaro than any clear logic or reasoning.

I felt, rather than saw, that he had left the room, and shouted out to Mr. Sandbach: "Have you got the key of Eustace's room in your pocket?" But Mr. Sandbach and Leyland were both on the floor, having mistaken each other for Gennaro, and some more precious time was wasted in finding a match. Mr. Sandbach had only just time to say that he had left the key in the door, in case the Miss Robinsons wished to pay Eustace a visit, when we heard a noise on the stairs, and there was Gennaro, carrying Eustace down.

I felt, rather than saw, that he had left the room, and shouted out to Mr. Sandbach: "Do you have the key to Eustace's room in your pocket?" But Mr. Sandbach and Leyland were both on the floor, having mistaken each other for Gennaro, and some more precious time was wasted looking for a match. Mr. Sandbach barely had time to mention that he had left the key in the door, in case the Miss Robinsons wanted to visit Eustace, when we heard a noise on the stairs, and there was Gennaro, carrying Eustace down.

We rushed out and blocked up the passage, and they lost heart and retreated to the upper landing.

We rushed out and blocked the passage, and they lost their courage and fell back to the upper landing.

"Now they are caught," cried Signora Scafetti. "There is no other way out."

"Now they're trapped," yelled Signora Scafetti. "There's no other way out."

We were cautiously ascending the staircase, when there was a terrific scream from my wife's room, followed by a heavy thud on the asphalt path. They had leapt out of her window.

We were carefully going up the stairs when we heard a terrible scream from my wife's room, followed by a loud thud on the pavement. They had jumped out of her window.

I reached the terrace just in time to see Eustace jumping over the parapet of the garden wall. This time I knew for certain he would be killed. But he alighted in an olive tree, looking like a great white moth; and from the tree he slid on to the earth. And as soon as his bare feet touched the clods of earth he uttered a strange loud cry, such as I should not have thought the human voice could have produced, and disappeared among the trees below.

I got to the terrace just in time to see Eustace leaping over the garden wall. This time, I was sure he would be killed. But he landed in an olive tree, looking like a giant white moth; and from there, he slid down to the ground. As soon as his bare feet hit the dirt, he let out an unusual loud scream that I wouldn’t have thought a human voice could make, and then he vanished among the trees below.

"He has understood and he is saved," cried Gennaro, who was still sitting on the asphalt path. "Now, instead of dying he will live!"

"He gets it and he's saved," shouted Gennaro, who was still sitting on the asphalt path. "Now, instead of dying, he'll live!"

"And you, instead of keeping the ten lire, will give them up," I retorted, for at this theatrical remark I could contain myself no longer.

"And you, instead of keeping the ten lire, will give them up," I shot back, because at that dramatic comment I couldn't hold back any longer.

"The ten lire are mine," he hissed back, in a scarcely audible voice. He clasped his hand over his breast to protect his ill-gotten gains, and, as he did so, he swayed forward and fell upon his face on the path. He had not broken any limbs, and a leap like that would never have killed an Englishman, for the drop was not great. But those miserable Italians have no stamina. Something had gone wrong inside him, and he was dead.

"The ten lire are mine," he hissed in a barely audible voice. He pressed his hand against his chest to guard his ill-gotten money, and as he did this, he stumbled forward and fell flat on the path. He hadn't broken any bones, and a jump like that would never have killed an Englishman, since the fall wasn't that far. But those poor Italians have no endurance. Something had gone wrong inside him, and he was dead.

The morning was still far off, but the morning breeze had begun, and more rose leaves fell on us as we carried him in. Signora Scafetti burst into screams at the sight of the dead body, and, far down the valley towards the sea, there still resounded the shouts and the laughter of the escaping boy.

The morning was still a ways off, but the morning breeze had started, and more rose leaves fell on us as we brought him in. Signora Scafetti let out a scream at the sight of the body, and, far down the valley towards the sea, the sounds of the escaping boy's shouts and laughter echoed on.


THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HEDGE

My pedometer told me that I was twenty-five; and, though it is a shocking thing to stop walking, I was so tired that I sat down on a milestone to rest. People outstripped me, jeering as they did so, but I was too apathetic to feel resentful, and even when Miss Eliza Dimbleby, the great educationist, swept past, exhorting me to persevere, I only smiled and raised my hat.

My pedometer said I was twenty-five, and even though it's pretty unexpected to just stop walking, I was so exhausted that I sat down on a milestone to take a break. People passed me by, mocking as they went, but I was too indifferent to feel angry. Even when Miss Eliza Dimbleby, the famous education expert, rushed by encouraging me to keep going, I just smiled and tipped my hat.

At first I thought I was going to be like my brother, whom I had had to leave by the road-side a year or two round the corner. He had wasted his breath on singing, and his strength on helping others. But I had travelled more wisely, and now it was only the monotony of the highway that oppressed me—dust under foot and brown crackling hedges on either side, ever since I could remember.

At first, I thought I would end up like my brother, who I had to leave by the roadside a year or two ago. He had wasted his energy on singing and on helping others. But I had traveled more wisely, and now it was just the dullness of the highway that weighed me down—dust underfoot and brown, crackling hedges on either side, for as long as I could remember.

And I had already dropped several things—indeed, the road behind was strewn with the things we all had dropped; and the white dust was settling down on them, so that already they looked no better than stones. My muscles were so weary that I could not even bear the weight of those things I still carried. I slid off the milestone into the road, and lay there prostrate, with my face to the great parched hedge, praying that I might give up.

And I had already dropped several things—really, the road behind me was covered with the stuff we all had lost; and the white dust was settling on them, making them look no better than rocks. My muscles were so tired that I could hardly handle the weight of the things I still had. I slid off the milestone into the road and lay there flat, facing the big dry hedge, praying that I could just give up.

A little puff of air revived me. It seemed to come from the hedge; and, when I opened my eyes, there was a glint of light through the tangle of boughs and dead leaves. The hedge could not be as thick as usual. In my weak, morbid state, I longed to force my way in, and see what was on the other side. No one was in sight, or I should not have dared to try. For we of the road do not admit in conversation that there is another side at all.

A small puff of air brought me back to life. It seemed to come from the hedge; and when I opened my eyes, I saw a flash of light through the tangled branches and dead leaves. The hedge didn’t seem as thick as usual. In my weak, gloomy state, I really wanted to push my way in and see what was on the other side. No one was around, or I wouldn't have dared to try. Because we travelers don't acknowledge in conversation that there’s any other side at all.

I yielded to the temptation, saying to myself that I would come back in a minute. The thorns scratched my face, and I had to use my arms as a shield, depending on my feet alone to push me forward. Halfway through I would have gone back, for in the passage all the things I was carrying were scraped off me, and my clothes were torn. But I was so wedged that return was impossible, and I had to wriggle blindly forward, expecting every moment that my strength would fail me, and that I should perish in the undergrowth.

I gave in to the temptation, telling myself I’d be back in a minute. The thorns scratched my face, and I had to use my arms as a shield, relying on my feet to push me forward. Halfway through, I would have turned back, because everything I was carrying got scraped off me in the passage, and my clothes were torn. But I was so stuck that going back was impossible, so I had to wriggle forward blindly, expecting any moment that I would lose my strength and that I would perish in the underbrush.

Suddenly cold water closed round my head, and I seemed sinking down for ever. I had fallen out of the hedge into a deep pool. I rose to the surface at last, crying for help, and I heard someone on the opposite bank laugh and say: "Another!" And then I was twitched out and laid panting on the dry ground.

Suddenly, cold water surrounded my head, and I felt like I was sinking forever. I had fallen out of the hedge into a deep pool. Eventually, I resurfaced, crying for help, and I heard someone on the other bank laugh and say, "Another!" Then, I was pulled out and laid, gasping, on the dry ground.

Even when the water was out of my eyes, I was still dazed, for I had never been in so large a space, nor seen such grass and sunshine. The blue sky was no longer a strip, and beneath it the earth had risen grandly into hills—clean, bare buttresses, with beech trees in their folds, and meadows and clear pools at their feet. But the hills were not high, and there was in the landscape a sense of human occupation—so that one might have called it a park, or garden, if the words did not imply a certain triviality and constraint.

Even when the water was gone from my eyes, I was still stunned because I had never been in such a vast space or seen so much grass and sunlight. The blue sky was no longer just a strip, and below it, the earth had risen beautifully into hills—clean, bare slopes, with beech trees nestled in their folds, and meadows and clear ponds at their base. But the hills weren’t very tall, and there was a feeling of human presence in the landscape—so much so that you might have called it a park or a garden, if those words didn’t suggest a kind of triviality and restriction.

As soon as I got my breath, I turned to my rescuer and said:

As soon as I caught my breath, I turned to my rescuer and said:

"Where does this place lead to?"

"Where does this place lead?"

"Nowhere, thank the Lord!" said he, and laughed. He was a man of fifty or sixty—just the kind of age we mistrust on the road—but there was no anxiety in his manner, and his voice was that of a boy of eighteen.

"Nowhere, thank the Lord!" he said, laughing. He was a man in his fifties or sixties—exactly the age we tend to be suspicious of on the road—but there was no worry in his demeanor, and his voice sounded like that of an eighteen-year-old.

"But it must lead somewhere!" I cried, too much surprised at his answer to thank him for saving my life.

"But it has to lead somewhere!" I exclaimed, too surprised by his answer to thank him for saving my life.

"He wants to know where it leads!" he shouted to some men on the hill side, and they laughed back, and waved their caps.

"He wants to know where it goes!" he shouted to some guys on the hillside, and they laughed back and waved their caps.

I noticed then that the pool into which I had fallen was really a moat which bent round to the left and to the right, and that the hedge followed it continually. The hedge was green on this side—its roots showed through the clear water, and fish swam about in them—and it was wreathed over with dog-roses and Traveller's Joy. But it was a barrier, and in a moment I lost all pleasure in the grass, the sky, the trees, the happy men and women, and realized that the place was but a prison, for all its beauty and extent.

I then noticed that the pool I had fallen into was actually a moat that curved to the left and right, and the hedge kept following it. The hedge was green on this side—its roots visible through the clear water, with fish swimming around them—and it was draped in dog-roses and Traveler's Joy. But it was a barrier, and in an instant, I lost all enjoyment in the grass, the sky, the trees, and the cheerful people, realizing that the place was just a prison, despite its beauty and size.

We moved away from the boundary, and then followed a path almost parallel to it, across the meadows. I found it difficult walking, for I was always trying to out-distance my companion, and there was no advantage in doing this if the place led nowhere. I had never kept step with anyone since I left my brother.

We moved away from the boundary and then followed a path that was almost parallel to it, across the meadows. I found it hard to walk, as I was constantly trying to outpace my companion, but there was no point in doing that if the path didn’t lead anywhere. I hadn’t walked alongside anyone since I left my brother.

I amused him by stopping suddenly and saying disconsolately, "This is perfectly terrible. One cannot advance: one cannot progress. Now we of the road——"

I entertained him by stopping abruptly and saying sadly, "This is just awful. You can't move forward: you can't make any progress. Now we on the road——"

"Yes. I know."

"Yep. I get it."

"I was going to say, we advance continually."

"I was going to say, we keep moving forward."

"I know."

"I get it."

"We are always learning, expanding, developing. Why, even in my short life I have seen a great deal of advance—the Transvaal War, the Fiscal Question, Christian Science, Radium. Here for example—"

"We are constantly learning, growing, and evolving. In my brief life, I have witnessed significant progress—the Transvaal War, the Fiscal Question, Christian Science, Radium. Take this for example—"

I took out my pedometer, but it still marked twenty-five, not a degree more.

I pulled out my pedometer, but it still showed twenty-five, not a degree more.

"Oh, it's stopped! I meant to show you. It should have registered all the time I was walking with you. But it makes me only twenty-five."

"Oh, it stopped! I wanted to show you. It should have recorded the entire time I was walking with you. But it says I'm only twenty-five."

"Many things don't work in here," he said, "One day a man brought in a Lee-Metford, and that wouldn't work."

"Many things don't work in here," he said, "One day a guy brought in a Lee-Metford, and that wouldn't work."

"The laws of science are universal in their application. It must be the water in the moat that has injured the machinery. In normal conditions everything works. Science and the spirit of emulation—those are the forces that have made us what we are."

"The laws of science apply everywhere. It must be the water in the moat that's damaged the machinery. Everything works under normal conditions. Science and the drive to compete—those are the forces that have shaped us into who we are."

I had to break off and acknowledge the pleasant greetings of people whom we passed. Some of them were singing, some talking, some engaged in gardening, hay-making, or other rudimentary industries. They all seemed happy; and I might have been happy too, if I could have forgotten that the place led nowhere.

I had to pause and return the friendly greetings of the people we passed. Some were singing, some were chatting, and others were busy with gardening, making hay, or other simple tasks. They all seemed happy, and I might have been happy too if I could have forgotten that this place went nowhere.

I was startled by a young man who came sprinting across our path, took a little fence in fine style, and went tearing over a ploughed field till he plunged into a lake, across which he began to swim. Here was true energy, and I exclaimed: "A cross-country race! Where are the others?"

I was surprised by a young guy who came running across our path, jumped over a low fence with style, and dashed over a plowed field until he jumped into a lake, where he started to swim. This was real energy, and I shouted, "A cross-country race! Where are the others?"

"There are no others," my companion replied; and, later on, when we passed some long grass from which came the voice of a girl singing exquisitely to herself, he said again: "There are no others." I was bewildered at the waste in production, and murmured to myself, "What does it all mean?"

"There are no others," my friend said. Later, as we walked by some tall grass where a girl was singing beautifully to herself, he repeated, "There are no others." I was confused by the waste of it all and whispered to myself, "What does it all mean?"

He said: "It means nothing but itself"—and he repeated the words slowly, as if I were a child.

He said, "It means nothing but itself"—and he repeated the words slowly, as if I were a kid.

"I understand," I said quietly, "but I do not agree. Every achievement is worthless unless it is a link in the chain of development. And I must not trespass on your kindness any longer. I must get back somehow to the road, and have my pedometer mended."

"I get it," I said softly, "but I don't agree. Every accomplishment is meaningless unless it's part of the bigger picture of growth. And I can't take advantage of your kindness any further. I need to find my way back to the road and get my pedometer fixed."

"First, you must see the gates," he replied, "for we have gates, though we never use them."

"First, you need to check out the gates," he said, "because we have gates, even though we never use them."

I yielded politely, and before long we reached the moat again, at a point where it was spanned by a bridge. Over the bridge was a big gate, as white as ivory, which was fitted into a gap in the boundary hedge. The gate opened outwards, and I exclaimed in amazement, for from it ran a road—just such a road as I had left—dusty under foot, with brown crackling hedges on either side as far as the eye could reach.

I agreed nicely, and soon we were back at the moat, where a bridge crossed over it. On the bridge stood a large gate, as white as ivory, set into a break in the boundary hedge. The gate opened outward, and I gasped in surprise, because there lay a road—just like the one I had left—dusty beneath my feet, with brown, crackling hedges on both sides as far as I could see.

"That's my road!" I cried.

"That's my road!" I yelled.

He shut the gate and said: "But not your part of the road. It is through this gate that humanity went out countless ages ago, when it was first seized with the desire to walk."

He closed the gate and said, "But not your part of the road. It’s through this gate that humanity ventured out countless ages ago, when it first felt the urge to explore."

I denied this, observing that the part of the road I myself had left was not more than two miles off. But with the obstinacy of his years he repeated: "It is the same road. This is the beginning, and though it seems to run straight away from us, it doubles so often, that it is never far from our boundary and sometimes touches it." He stooped down by the moat, and traced on its moist margin an absurd figure like a maze. As we walked back through the meadows, I tried to convince him of his mistake.

I denied this, noting that the part of the road I had just left was only about two miles away. But with the stubbornness of his age, he insisted, "It's the same road. This is the start, and even though it looks like it goes straight away from us, it curves around so much that it's never really far from our boundary, and sometimes it even touches it." He knelt by the moat and drew a silly figure like a maze in the damp earth. As we walked back through the meadows, I tried to persuade him that he was wrong.

"The road sometimes doubles, to be sure, but that is part of our discipline. Who can doubt that its general tendency is onward? To what goal we know not—it may be to some mountain where we shall touch the sky, it may be over precipices into the sea. But that it goes forward —who can doubt that? It is the thought of that that makes us strive to excel, each in his own way, and gives us an impetus which is lacking with you. Now that man who passed us—it's true that he ran well, and jumped well, and swam well; but we have men who can run better, and men who can jump better, and who can swim better. Specialization has produced results which would surprise you. Similarly, that girl——"

"The road sometimes splits, but that's part of our discipline. Who can question that its main direction is forward? We don’t know what the destination is—maybe it’s a mountain where we’ll touch the sky, or maybe it’s a plunge into the sea. But it’s definitely moving ahead—who can deny that? It's that thought that drives us to excel in our own ways and gives us a motivation that you lack. Now, that guy who passed us—it’s true that he ran well, jumped well, and swam well; but we have people who can run faster, jump higher, and swim better. Specialization has achieved results that would surprise you. Similarly, that girl——"

Here I interrupted myself to exclaim: "Good gracious me! I could have sworn it was Miss Eliza Dimbleby over there, with her feet in the fountain!"

Here I paused to exclaim: "Goodness! I could have sworn that was Miss Eliza Dimbleby over there, with her feet in the fountain!"

He believed that it was.

He thought it was.

"Impossible! I left her on the road, and she is due to lecture this evening at Tunbridge Wells. Why, her train leaves Cannon Street in—of course my watch has stopped like everything else. She is the last person to be here."

"There's no way! I left her on the road, and she’s supposed to give a lecture tonight at Tunbridge Wells. Her train leaves Cannon Street in—of course my watch has stopped like everything else. She’s the last person who would be here."

"People always are astonished at meeting each other. All kinds come through the hedge, and come at all times—when they are drawing ahead in the race, when they are lagging behind, when they are left for dead. I often stand near the boundary listening to the sounds of the road—you know what they are—and wonder if anyone will turn aside. It is my great happiness to help someone out of the moat, as I helped you. For our country fills up slowly, though it was meant for all mankind."

"People are always amazed when they meet each other. All sorts come through the hedge, at all times—whether they're ahead in the race, falling behind, or feeling completely defeated. I often stand near the boundary, listening to the sounds of the road—you know what I mean—and wonder if anyone will take a detour. It brings me great joy to help someone out of the moat, just like I helped you. Our country fills up slowly, even though it was meant for everyone."

"Mankind have other aims," I said gently, for I thought him well-meaning; "and I must join them." I bade him good evening, for the sun was declining, and I wished to be on the road by nightfall. To my alarm, he caught hold of me, crying: "You are not to go yet!" I tried to shake him off, for we had no interests in common, and his civility was becoming irksome to me. But for all my struggles the tiresome old man would not let go; and, as wrestling is not my speciality, I was obliged to follow him.

"Mankind has other goals," I said gently, thinking he meant well; "and I need to join them." I wished him good evening, as the sun was setting, and I wanted to be on the road before dark. To my surprise, he grabbed hold of me, exclaiming: "You can't leave yet!" I tried to shake him off, since we had nothing in common, and his politeness was starting to annoy me. But despite my efforts, the bothersome old man wouldn’t let go; and since wrestling isn’t my strong suit, I had no choice but to follow him.

It was true that I could have never found alone the place where I came in, and I hoped that, when I had seen the other sights about which he was worrying, he would take me back to it. But I was determined not to sleep in the country, for I mistrusted it, and the people too, for all their friendliness. Hungry though I was, I would not join them in their evening meals of milk and fruit, and, when they gave me flowers, I flung them away as soon as I could do so unobserved. Already they were lying down for the night like cattle—some out on the bare hillside, others in groups under the beeches. In the light of an orange sunset I hurried on with my unwelcome guide, dead tired, faint for want of food, but murmuring indomitably: "Give me life, with its struggles and victories, with its failures and hatreds, with its deep moral meaning and its unknown goal!"

I couldn’t have found the place where I entered on my own, and I hoped that after I had seen the other sights he was worried about, he would take me back there. But I was set on not sleeping in the countryside because I didn’t trust it, or the people, despite their friendliness. Even though I was hungry, I refused to join them for their evening meals of milk and fruit, and when they gave me flowers, I tossed them aside as soon as I could do it without being seen. They were already settling down for the night like cattle—some out on the bare hillside, others in groups under the beeches. As the orange sunset lit the sky, I hurried on with my reluctant guide, utterly exhausted, faint from lack of food, but still resolutely murmuring: "Give me life, with its struggles and victories, with its failures and hatreds, with its deep moral meaning and its unknown goal!"

At last we came to a place where the encircling moat was spanned by another bridge, and where another gate interrupted the line of the boundary hedge. It was different from the first gate; for it was half transparent like horn, and opened inwards. But through it, in the waning light, I saw again just such a road as I had left—monotonous, dusty, with brown crackling hedges on either side, as far as the eye could reach.

At last, we arrived at a spot where the surrounding moat was crossed by another bridge, and where another gate broke the line of the boundary hedge. This one was different from the first; it was semi-transparent like horn and opened inward. But through it, in the fading light, I saw a road just like the one I had left—monotonous, dusty, with crackling brown hedges on either side, as far as I could see.

I was strangely disquieted at the sight, which seemed to deprive me of all self-control. A man was passing us, returning for the night to the hills, with a scythe over his shoulder and a can of some liquid in his hand. I forgot the destiny of our race. I forgot the road that lay before my eyes, and I sprang at him, wrenched the can out of his hand, and began to drink.

I felt an odd unease at the sight, as if it took away all my self-control. A man was walking by, heading back to the hills for the night, with a scythe over his shoulder and a can of some liquid in his hand. I completely lost sight of our fate. I forgot the path ahead of me, and I lunged at him, yanked the can from his hand, and started to drink.

It was nothing stronger than beer, but in my exhausted state it overcame me in a moment. As in a dream, I saw the old man shut the gate, and heard him say: "This is where your road ends, and through this gate humanity—all that is left of it—will come in to us."

It was just beer, but in my tired state, it hit me hard right away. Like a dream, I saw the old man close the gate and heard him say, "This is where your journey ends, and through this gate, humanity—all that's left of it—will come to us."

Though my senses were sinking into oblivion, they seemed to expand ere they reached it. They perceived the magic song of nightingales, and the odour of invisible hay, and stars piercing the fading sky. The man whose beer I had stolen lowered me down gently to sleep off its effects, and, as he did so, I saw that he was my brother.

Though my senses were fading away, they seemed to stretch before they fully faded. I could hear the enchanting song of nightingales, smell the scent of unseen hay, and see the stars shining through the darkening sky. The guy whose beer I had taken set me down gently to sleep it off, and as he did, I realized he was my brother.


THE CELESTIAL OMNIBUS

I

The boy who resided at Agathox Lodge, 28, Buckingham Park Road, Surbiton, had often been puzzled by the old sign-post that stood almost opposite. He asked his mother about it, and she replied that it was a joke, and not a very nice one, which had been made many years back by some naughty young men, and that the police ought to remove it. For there were two strange things about this sign-post: firstly, it pointed up a blank alley, and, secondly, it had painted on it in faded characters, the words, "To Heaven."

The boy who lived at Agathox Lodge, 28, Buckingham Park Road, Surbiton, was often confused by the old signpost that stood almost opposite. He asked his mother about it, and she told him it was a joke—not a very nice one—that some mischievous young men had made many years ago, and that the police should take it down. There were two strange things about this signpost: first, it pointed up a empty alley, and second, it had faded letters painted on it that said, "To Heaven."

"What kind of young men were they?" he asked.

"What kind of young guys were they?" he asked.

"I think your father told me that one of them wrote verses, and was expelled from the University and came to grief in other ways. Still, it was a long time ago. You must ask your father about it. He will say the same as I do, that it was put up as a joke."

"I think your dad mentioned that one of them wrote poetry, got kicked out of the University, and faced other troubles. But, that was a long time ago. You should ask your dad about it. He’ll tell you the same thing I did, that it was intended as a joke."

"So it doesn't mean anything at all?"

"So it really doesn't mean anything?"

She sent him upstairs to put on his best things, for the Bonses were coming to tea, and he was to hand the cake-stand.

She sent him upstairs to change into his best clothes because the Bonses were coming over for tea, and he was going to serve the cake.

It struck him, as he wrenched on his tightening trousers, that he might do worse than ask Mr. Bons about the sign-post. His father, though very kind, always laughed at him—shrieked with laughter whenever he or any other child asked a question or spoke. But Mr. Bons was serious as well as kind. He had a beautiful house and lent one books, he was a churchwarden, and a candidate for the County Council; he had donated to the Free Library enormously, he presided over the Literary Society, and had Members of Parliament to stop with him—in short, he was probably the wisest person alive.

As he struggled with his increasingly tight trousers, it occurred to him that he might as well ask Mr. Bons about the signpost. His father, despite being very kind, always laughed at him—bursting into laughter whenever he or any other kid asked a question or spoke. But Mr. Bons was both serious and kind. He had a beautiful home and lent out books; he was a churchwarden and a candidate for the County Council. He had donated a lot to the Free Library, oversaw the Literary Society, and hosted Members of Parliament at his place—in short, he was probably the smartest person alive.

Yet even Mr. Bons could only say that the sign-post was a joke—the joke of a person named Shelley.

Yet even Mr. Bons could only say that the signpost was a joke—the joke of someone named Shelley.

"Off course!" cried the mother; "I told you so, dear. That was the name."

"Of course!" the mother exclaimed; "I told you that, dear. That was the name."

"Had you never heard of Shelley?" asked Mr. Bons.

"Have you never heard of Shelley?" asked Mr. Bons.

"No," said the boy, and hung his head.

"No," said the boy, looking down.

"But is there no Shelley in the house?"

"But is there no Shelley here?"

"Why, yes!" exclaimed the lady, in much agitation. "Dear Mr. Bons, we aren't such Philistines as that. Two at the least. One a wedding present, and the other, smaller print, in one of the spare rooms."

"Of course!" the lady exclaimed, quite agitated. "Dear Mr. Bons, we aren't that uncultured. At least two. One as a wedding gift, and the other, a smaller print, in one of the guest rooms."

"I believe we have seven Shelleys," said Mr. Bons, with a slow smile. Then he brushed the cake crumbs off his stomach, and, together with his daughter, rose to go.

"I think we have seven Shelleys," said Mr. Bons, smiling slowly. Then he brushed the cake crumbs off his stomach and got up to leave with his daughter.

The boy, obeying a wink from his mother, saw them all the way to the garden gate, and when they had gone he did not at once return to the house, but gazed for a little up and down Buckingham Park Road.

The boy, responding to a wink from his mother, walked with them to the garden gate, and after they left, he didn't immediately head back to the house, but stood for a moment looking up and down Buckingham Park Road.

His parents lived at the right end of it. After No. 39 the quality of the houses dropped very suddenly, and 64 had not even a separate servants' entrance. But at the present moment the whole road looked rather pretty, for the sun had just set in splendour, and the inequalities of rent were drowned in a saffron afterglow. Small birds twittered, and the breadwinners' train shrieked musically down through the cutting—that wonderful cutting which has drawn to itself the whole beauty out of Surbiton, and clad itself, like any Alpine valley, with the glory of the fir and the silver birch and the primrose. It was this cutting that had first stirred desires within the boy—desires for something just a little different, he knew not what, desires that would return whenever things were sunlit, as they were this evening, running up and down inside him, up and down, up and down, till he would feel quite unusual all over, and as likely as not would want to cry. This evening he was even sillier, for he slipped across the road towards the sign-post and began to run up the blank alley.

His parents lived at the far end of it. After No. 39, the quality of the houses dropped quickly, and 64 didn’t even have a separate entrance for staff. But right now, the whole street looked pretty nice, as the sun had just set in a stunning way, and the differences in rent were softened by a golden afterglow. Small birds chirped, and the commuters' train whistled melodically through the cutting—that amazing cutting that has captured all the beauty of Surbiton, adorned with fir trees, silver birch, and primroses, like an Alpine valley. It was this cutting that had first sparked desires within the boy—desires for something just a bit different, something he couldn’t quite name, desires that would come back whenever things were sunny, like they were this evening, swirling inside him, up and down, up and down, until he felt completely strange and might even want to cry. This evening, he felt even sillier, as he dashed across the road towards the signpost and started running up the empty alley.

The alley runs between high walls—the walls of the gardens of "Ivanhoe" and "Belle Vista" respectively. It smells a little all the way, and is scarcely twenty yards long, including the turn at the end. So not unnaturally the boy soon came to a standstill. "I'd like to kick that Shelley," he exclaimed, and glanced idly at a piece of paper which was pasted on the wall. Rather an odd piece of paper, and he read it carefully before he turned back. This is what he read:

The alley runs between tall walls—the walls of the gardens of "Ivanhoe" and "Belle Vista." It has a slight smell the entire way and is barely twenty yards long, including the turn at the end. So it wasn't surprising that the boy quickly stopped. "I wish I could kick that Shelley," he said, glancing lazily at a piece of paper stuck to the wall. It was a strange piece of paper, and he read it closely before turning back. This is what he read:

S. and C.R.C.C.
Alteration in Service.

S. and C.R.C.C. *Service Change.*

Owing to lack of patronage the Company are regretfully compelled to suspend the hourly service, and to retain only the

Owing to a lack of support, the Company unfortunately has to suspend the hourly service and keep only the

Sunrise and Sunset Omnibuses,

Sunrise and Sunset Buses,

which will run as usual. It is to be hoped that the public will patronize an arrangement which is intended for their convenience. As an extra inducement, the Company will, for the first time, now issue

which will run as usual. It is hoped that the public will support an arrangement that is meant for their convenience. As an additional incentive, the Company will, for the first time, now issue

Return Tickets!

Return Tickets!

(available one day only), which may be obtained of the driver. Passengers are again reminded that no tickets are issued at the other end, and that no complaints in this connection will receive consideration from the Company. Nor will the Company be responsible for any negligence or stupidity on the part of Passengers, nor for Hailstorms, Lightning, Loss of Tickets, nor for any Act of God.

(available one day only), which can be obtained from the driver. Passengers are once again reminded that no tickets are issued at the other end, and any complaints regarding this matter will not be considered by the Company. The Company will also not be responsible for any negligence or foolishness on the part of Passengers, nor for hailstorms, lightning, lost tickets, or any Act of God.

For the Direction.

For the Direction.

Now he had never seen this notice before, nor could he imagine where the omnibus went to. S. of course was for Surbiton, and R.C.C. meant Road Car Company. But what was the meaning or the other C.? Coombe and Maiden, perhaps, of possibly "City." Yet it could not hope to compete with the South-Western. The whole thing, the boy reflected, was run on hopelessly unbusiness-like lines. Why no tickets from the other end? And what an hour to start! Then he realized that unless the notice was a hoax, an omnibus must have been starting just as he was wishing the Bonses good-bye. He peered at the ground through the gathering dusk, and there he saw what might or might not be the marks of wheels. Yet nothing had come out of the alley. And he had never seen an omnibus at any time in the Buckingham Park Road. No: it must be a hoax, like the sign-posts, like the fairy tales, like the dreams upon which he would wake suddenly in the night. And with a sigh he stepped from the alley—right into the arms of his father.

Now, he had never seen this notice before, and he couldn't imagine where the bus went. S. was obviously for Surbiton, and R.C.C. stood for Road Car Company. But what did the other C. mean? Maybe Coombe and Maiden, or possibly "City." Still, it couldn’t possibly compete with the South-Western. The whole thing, the boy thought, was being run in a completely unprofessional way. Why were there no tickets from the other end? And what a terrible time to start! Then he realized that unless the notice was a prank, a bus must have been leaving just as he was saying goodbye to the Bonses. He squinted at the ground through the gathering dusk, and there he saw what could have been the marks of wheels. But nothing had come out of the alley. And he had never seen a bus at any time on Buckingham Park Road. No: it must be a prank, like the signposts, like the fairy tales, like the dreams that made him wake up suddenly in the night. With a sigh, he stepped out of the alley—right into his father's arms.

Oh, how his father laughed! "Poor, poor Popsey!" he cried. "Diddums! Diddums! Diddums think he'd walky-palky up to Evvink!" And his mother, also convulsed with laughter, appeared on the steps of Agathox Lodge. "Don't, Bob!" she gasped. "Don't be so naughty! Oh, you'll kill me! Oh, leave the boy alone!"

Oh, how his father laughed! "Poor, poor Popsey!" he exclaimed. "Aww! Aww! Aww thinks he’d walk right up to Evvink!" And his mother, also laughing uncontrollably, appeared on the steps of Agathox Lodge. "Stop it, Bob!" she said breathlessly. "Don't be so naughty! Oh, you're going to make me die from laughing! Just leave the boy alone!"

But all that evening the joke was kept up. The father implored to be taken too. Was it a very tiring walk? Need one wipe one's shoes on the door-mat? And the boy went to bed feeling faint and sore, and thankful for only one thing—that he had not said a word about the omnibus. It was a hoax, yet through his dreams it grew more and more real, and the streets of Surbiton, through which he saw it driving, seemed instead to become hoaxes and shadows. And very early in the morning he woke with a cry, for he had had a glimpse of its destination.

But all that evening, the joke continued. The father begged to be included too. Was it a very tiring walk? Did one really have to wipe their shoes on the doormat? The boy went to bed feeling weak and sore, grateful for only one thing—that he hadn’t mentioned the bus. It was a prank, but throughout his dreams, it became increasingly real, and the streets of Surbiton, where he imagined it driving, started to feel like pranks and illusions. Very early the next morning, he woke up with a shout because he had caught a glimpse of where it was headed.

He struck a match, and its light fell not only on his watch but also on his calendar, so that he knew it to be half-an-hour to sunrise. It was pitch dark, for the fog had come down from London in the night, and all Surbiton was wrapped in its embraces. Yet he sprang out and dressed himself, for he was determined to settle once for all which was real: the omnibus or the streets. "I shall be a fool one way or the other," he thought, "until I know." Soon he was shivering in the road under the gas lamp that guarded the entrance to the alley.

He lit a match, and its light illuminated not just his watch but also his calendar, so he realized it was half an hour until sunrise. It was completely dark, as the fog had rolled in from London overnight, enveloping all of Surbiton. Still, he jumped out of bed and got dressed, determined to finally find out what was real: the bus or the streets. "I'll be a fool either way," he thought, "until I figure it out." Soon, he was shivering on the road under the gas lamp that marked the entrance to the alley.

To enter the alley itself required some courage. Not only was it horribly dark, but he now realized that it was an impossible terminus for an omnibus. If it had not been for a policeman, whom he heard approaching through the fog, he would never have made the attempt. The next moment he had made the attempt and failed. Nothing. Nothing but a blank alley and a very silly boy gaping at its dirty floor. It was a hoax. "I'll tell papa and mamma," he decided. "I deserve it. I deserve that they should know. I am too silly to be alive." And he went back to the gate of Agathox Lodge.

Entering the alley took some courage. It was not only pitch dark, but he also realized it was a dead end for a bus. If it hadn't been for a policeman he heard coming through the fog, he would never have tried it. In the next moment, he tried and failed. There was nothing—just a dark alley and a very foolish boy staring at its dirty floor. It was a joke. "I'll tell Mom and Dad," he decided. "I deserve it. They should know. I'm too foolish to be alive." And he went back to the gate of Agathox Lodge.

There he remembered that his watch was fast. The sun was not risen; it would not rise for two minutes. "Give the bus every chance," he thought cynically, and returned into the alley.

There he remembered that his watch was ahead. The sun hadn't risen yet; it wouldn't rise for another two minutes. "Give the bus every chance," he thought sarcastically, and went back into the alley.

But the omnibus was there.

But the bus was there.

II

It had two horses, whose sides were still smoking from their journey, and its two great lamps shone through the fog against the alley's walls, changing their cobwebs and moss into tissues of fairyland. The driver was huddled up in a cape. He faced the blank wall, and how he had managed to drive in so neatly and so silently was one of the many things that the boy never discovered. Nor could he imagine how ever he would drive out.

It had two horses, their sides still steaming from the journey, and its two large lamps lit up the fog, casting a glow on the alley walls, transforming the cobwebs and moss into a magical sight. The driver was bundled up in a cape. He was facing the blank wall, and how he had managed to pull in so smoothly and quietly was one of the many mysteries the boy never solved. He also couldn't figure out how he would ever drive out.

"Please," his voice quavered through the foul brown air, "Please, is that an omnibus?"

"Please," his voice shook in the disgusting brown air, "Please, is that a bus?"

"Omnibus est," said the driver, without turning round. There was a moment's silence. The policeman passed, coughing, by the entrance of the alley. The boy crouched in the shadow, for he did not want to be found out. He was pretty sure, too, that it was a Pirate; nothing else, he reasoned, would go from such odd places and at such odd hours.

"Everyone's here," said the driver, without looking back. There was a brief silence. The policeman walked by the entrance of the alley, coughing. The boy huddled in the shadows, not wanting to be discovered. He was pretty sure it was a pirate; nothing else, he thought, would come from such strange places and at such strange hours.

"About when do you start?" He tried to sound nonchalant.

"About when do you start?" He tried to sound casual.

"At sunrise."

"At dawn."

"How far do you go?"

"How far will you go?"

"The whole way."

"All the way."

"And can I have a return ticket which will bring me all the way back?"

"And can I get a round-trip ticket that takes me all the way back?"

"You can."

"You got this."

"Do you know, I half think I'll come." The driver made no answer. The sun must have risen, for he unhitched the brake. And scarcely had the boy jumped in before the omnibus was off.

"Do you know, I kind of think I'll come." The driver didn’t respond. The sun must have come up, because he released the brake. And barely had the boy gotten in before the bus took off.

How? Did it turn? There was no room. Did it go forward? There was a blank wall. Yet it was moving—moving at a stately pace through the fog, which had turned from brown to yellow. The thought of warm bed and warmer breakfast made the boy feel faint. He wished he had not come. His parents would not have approved. He would have gone back to them if the weather had not made it impossible. The solitude was terrible; he was the only passenger. And the omnibus, though well-built, was cold and somewhat musty. He drew his coat round him, and in so doing chanced to feel his pocket. It was empty. He had forgotten his purse.

How? Did it turn? There was no space. Did it go straight? There was a solid wall. Yet it was moving—moving at a slow, dignified pace through the fog, which had changed from brown to yellow. The thought of a warm bed and an even warmer breakfast made the boy feel weak. He wished he hadn’t come. His parents wouldn’t have approved. He would have gone back to them if the weather hadn’t made it impossible. The loneliness was awful; he was the only passenger. And the bus, although sturdy, was cold and a bit musty. He wrapped his coat around him and happened to feel his pocket. It was empty. He had forgotten his wallet.

"Stop!" he shouted. "Stop!" And then, being of a polite disposition, he glanced up at the painted notice-board so that he might call the driver by name. "Mr. Browne! stop; O, do please stop!"

"Stop!" he shouted. "Stop!" Then, being polite, he looked up at the notice board so he could call the driver by name. "Mr. Browne! Stop; oh, please stop!"

Mr. Browne did not stop, but he opened a little window and looked in at the boy. His face was a surprise, so kind it was and modest.

Mr. Browne didn't stop, but he opened a small window and looked in at the boy. His face was a surprise—it was so kind and humble.

"Mr. Browne, I've left my purse behind. I've not got a penny. I can't pay for the ticket. Will you take my watch, please? I am in the most awful hole."

"Mr. Browne, I've forgotten my purse. I don't have any money. I can't pay for the ticket. Will you please take my watch? I'm in a really tough spot."

"Tickets on this line," said the driver, "whether single or return, can be purchased by coinage from no terrene mint. And a chronometer, though it had solaced the vigils of Charlemagne, or measured the slumbers of Laura, can acquire by no mutation the double-cake that charms the fangless Cerberus of Heaven!" So saying, he handed in the necessary ticket, and, while the boy said "Thank you," continued: "Titular pretensions, I know it well, are vanity. Yet they merit no censure when uttered on a laughing lip, and in an homonymous world are in some sort useful, since they do serve to distinguish one Jack from his fellow. Remember me, therefore, as Sir Thomas Browne."

"Tickets on this line," said the driver, "whether single or round trip, can be bought with coins from no earthly mint. And a watch, even if it comforted Charlemagne during sleepless nights or timed Laura's dreams, can't transform into the double treat that delights the toothless Cerberus of Heaven!" After that, he handed over the required ticket, and while the boy said "Thank you," he continued: "I know that claims to titles are just vanity. But they aren't wrong when spoken with a smile, and in a world with similar names, they serve a purpose, helping to tell one Jack from another. So remember me as Sir Thomas Browne."

"Are you a Sir? Oh, sorry!" He had heard of these gentlemen drivers. "It is good of you about the ticket. But if you go on at this rate, however does your bus pay?"

"Are you a sir? Oh, sorry!" He had heard of these gentleman drivers. "It's nice of you about the ticket. But if you keep this up, how does your bus make money?"

"It does not pay. It was not intended to pay. Many are the faults of my equipage; it is compounded too curiously of foreign woods; its cushions tickle erudition rather than promote repose; and my horses are nourished not on the evergreen pastures of the moment, but on the dried bents and clovers of Latinity. But that it pays!—that error at all events was never intended and never attained."

"It’s not worth it. It was never meant to be worth it. There are many flaws with my setup; it’s made too intricately from foreign woods; its cushions stimulate knowledge rather than encourage rest; and my horses are fed not on the lush pastures of today, but on the dried grasses and clovers of classical learning. But that it’s worth it!—that mistake was never intended and never achieved."

"Sorry again," said the boy rather hopelessly. Sir Thomas looked sad, fearing that, even for a moment, he had been the cause of sadness. He invited the boy to come up and sit beside him on the box, and together they journeyed on through the fog, which was now changing from yellow to white. There were no houses by the road; so it must be either Putney Heath or Wimbledon Common.

"Sorry again," the boy said, sounding pretty hopeless. Sir Thomas looked upset, worried that he might have caused the boy any sorrow, even for a second. He invited the boy to come up and sit next to him on the box, and together they traveled through the fog, which was shifting from yellow to white. There were no houses along the road, so it had to be either Putney Heath or Wimbledon Common.

"Have you been a driver always?"

"Have you always been a driver?"

"I was a physician once."

"I used to be a doctor."

"But why did you stop? Weren't you good?"

"But why did you stop? Weren't you doing well?"

"As a healer of bodies I had scant success, and several score of my patients preceded me. But as a healer of the spirit I have succeeded beyond my hopes and my deserts. For though my draughts were not better nor subtler than those of other men, yet, by reason of the cunning goblets wherein I offered them, the queasy soul was ofttimes tempted to sip and be refreshed."

"As a physical healer, I had limited success, and many of my patients passed away before me. But as a healer of the spirit, I've exceeded my expectations and what I deserve. Even though my remedies weren't any better or more refined than those of others, the clever cups I used to present them often tempted the troubled soul to take a sip and feel rejuvenated."

"The queasy soul," he murmured; "if the sun sets with trees in front of it, and you suddenly come strange all over, is that a queasy soul?"

"The uneasy soul," he murmured; "if the sun sets behind trees, and you suddenly feel all strange, is that an uneasy soul?"

"Have you felt that?"

"Did you feel that?"

"Why yes."

"Sure."

After a pause he told the boy a little, a very little, about the journey's end. But they did not chatter much, for the boy, when he liked a person, would as soon sit silent in his company as speak, and this, he discovered, was also the mind of Sir Thomas Browne and of many others with whom he was to be acquainted. He heard, however, about the young man Shelley, who was now quite a famous person, with a carriage of his own, and about some of the other drivers who are in the service of the Company. Meanwhile the light grew stronger, though the fog did not disperse. It was now more like mist than fog, and at times would travel quickly across them, as if it was part of a cloud. They had been ascending, too, in a most puzzling way; for over two hours the horses had been pulling against the collar, and even if it were Richmond Hill they ought to have been at the top long ago. Perhaps it was Epsom, or even the North Downs; yet the air seemed keener than that which blows on either. And as to the name of their destination, Sir Thomas Browne was silent.

After a pause, he told the boy a little, just a bit, about the journey's end. But they didn’t talk much, because when the boy liked someone, he'd just as soon sit in silence with them as chat, and he realized this was also how Sir Thomas Browne felt and many others he would meet. He heard about the young man Shelley, who was now quite famous, with his own carriage, and about some of the other drivers working for the Company. Meanwhile, the light grew stronger, although the fog didn’t clear. It was more like mist now, and at times it moved quickly around them, as if it was part of a cloud. They had also been climbing in a really confusing way; for over two hours, the horses had been straining against the collar, and even if they were heading up Richmond Hill, they should have reached the top a long time ago. Maybe it was Epsom or even the North Downs; yet the air felt sharper than what blows from either. And when it came to their destination, Sir Thomas Browne remained quiet.

Crash!

Crash!

"Thunder, by Jove!" said the boy, "and not so far off either. Listen to the echoes! It's more like mountains."

"Wow, thunder!" said the boy, "and it’s not too far away either. Listen to the echoes! It sounds more like it's coming from the mountains."

He thought, not very vividly, of his father and mother. He saw them sitting down to sausages and listening to the storm. He saw his own empty place. Then there would be questions, alarms, theories, jokes, consolations. They would expect him back at lunch. To lunch he would not come, nor to tea, but he would be in for dinner, and so his day's truancy would be over. If he had had his purse he would have bought them presents—not that he should have known what to get them.

He thought, not very clearly, about his dad and mom. He pictured them sitting down to sausages and listening to the storm. He noticed his own empty spot. Then there would be questions, worries, theories, jokes, and comfort. They would be expecting him back for lunch. He wouldn’t make it for lunch, or tea, but he would be back for dinner, ending his day of skipping out. If he had his wallet, he would have bought them gifts—not that he would have known what to get them.

Crash!

Crash!

The peal and the lightning came together. The cloud quivered as if it were alive, and torn streamers of mist rushed past. "Are you afraid?" asked Sir Thomas Browne.

The thunder and lightning struck at the same time. The cloud shook as if it had a life of its own, and shredded wisps of mist flew by. "Are you scared?" asked Sir Thomas Browne.

"What is there to be afraid of? Is it much farther?"

"What is there to be afraid of? Is it much further?"

The horses of the omnibus stopped just as a ball of fire burst up and exploded with a ringing noise that was deafening but clear, like the noise of a blacksmith's forge. All the cloud was shattered.

The horses of the bus stopped just as a ball of fire shot up and exploded with a loud noise that was overwhelming yet distinct, similar to the sound of a blacksmith's forge. The entire sky was shattered.

"Oh, listen. Sir Thomas Browne! No, I mean look; we shall get a view at last. No, I mean listen; that sounds like a rainbow!"

"Oh, listen. Sir Thomas Browne! No, I mean look; we’re finally going to see it. No, I mean listen; that sounds like a rainbow!"

The noise had died into the faintest murmur, beneath which another murmur grew, spreading stealthily, steadily, in a curve that widened but did not vary. And in widening curves a rainbow was spreading from the horses' feet into the dissolving mists.

The noise had faded to the faintest murmur, beneath which another murmur grew, spreading quietly and steadily in a widening curve that remained constant. And in those widening curves, a rainbow was emerging from the horses' feet into the fading mists.

"But how beautiful! What colours! Where will it stop? It is more like the rainbows you can tread on. More like dreams."

"But how beautiful! What colors! Where will it end? It's more like rainbows you can walk on. More like dreams."

The colour and the sound grew together. The rainbow spanned an enormous gulf. Clouds rushed under it and were pierced by it, and still it grew, reaching forward, conquering the darkness, until it touched something that seemed more solid than a cloud.

The color and the sound blended together. The rainbow stretched across a vast gap. Clouds raced beneath it and were sliced through by it, and still it expanded, pushing forward, overcoming the darkness, until it connected with something that felt more solid than a cloud.

The boy stood up. "What is that out there?" he called. "What does it rest on, out at that other end?"

The boy got up. "What’s out there?" he called. "What does it sit on, at the other end?"

In the morning sunshine a precipice shone forth beyond the gulf. A precipice—or was it a castle? The horses moved. They set their feet upon the rainbow.

In the morning sun, a cliff glimmered beyond the bay. A cliff—or was it a castle? The horses stirred. They set their hooves on the rainbow.

"Oh, look!" the boy shouted. "Oh, listen! Those caves—or are they gateways? Oh, look between those cliffs at those ledges. I see people! I see trees!"

"Oh, check it out!" the boy shouted. "Oh, listen! Those caves—or are they gateways? Oh, look between those cliffs at those ledges. I see people! I see trees!"

"Look also below," whispered Sir Thomas. "Neglect not the diviner Acheron."

"Look down there," whispered Sir Thomas. "Don’t ignore the diviner Acheron."

The boy looked below, past the flames of the rainbow that licked against their wheels. The gulf also had cleared, and in its depths there flowed an everlasting river. One sunbeam entered and struck a green pool, and as they passed over he saw three maidens rise to the surface of the pool, singing, and playing with something that glistened like a ring.

The boy looked down, past the flames of the rainbow that danced against their wheels. The gulf had cleared as well, and deep within it flowed an endless river. A sunbeam came through and hit a green pool, and as they moved over it, he saw three maidens rise to the surface of the pool, singing and playing with something that shone like a ring.

"You down in the water——" he called.

"You down in the water——" he shouted.

They answered, "You up on the bridge——" There was a burst of music. "You up on the bridge, good luck to you. Truth in the depth, truth on the height."

They responded, "You on the bridge——" There was a burst of music. "You on the bridge, good luck to you. Truth in the depths, truth up high."

"You down in the water, what are you doing?"

"You down in the water, what are you doing?"

Sir Thomas Browne replied: "They sport in the mancipiary possession of their gold"; and the omnibus arrived.

Sir Thomas Browne replied, "They take pleasure in their ownership of gold"; and the bus arrived.

III

The boy was in disgrace. He sat locked up in the nursery of Agathox Lodge, learning poetry for a punishment. His father had said, "My boy! I can pardon anything but untruthfulness," and had caned him, saying at each stroke, "There is no omnibus, no driver, no bridge, no mountain; you are a truant, guttersnipe, a liar." His father could be very stern at times. His mother had begged him to say he was sorry. But he could not say that. It was the greatest day of his life, in spite of the caning, and the poetry at the end of it.

The boy was in trouble. He sat locked in the nursery of Agathox Lodge, memorizing poetry as punishment. His father had said, "My boy! I can forgive anything but lying," and had hit him with a cane, saying with every strike, "There is no bus, no driver, no bridge, no mountain; you are a truant, guttersnipe, a liar." His father could be really strict sometimes. His mother had pleaded with him to apologize. But he couldn't say that. It was the best day of his life, despite the caning and the poetry at the end of it.

He had returned punctually at sunset—driven not by Sir Thomas Browne, but by a maiden lady who was full of quiet fun. They had talked of omnibuses and also of barouche landaus. How far away her gentle voice seemed now! Yet it was scarcely three hours since he had left her up the alley.

He had come back right at sunset—not because of Sir Thomas Browne, but thanks to a fun-loving single lady. They had chatted about buses and also about fancy carriages. Her soft voice felt so distant now! But it had only been three hours since he had left her up the alley.

His mother called through the door. "Dear, you are to come down and to bring your poetry with you."

His mother called from outside the door. "Honey, you need to come down and bring your poetry with you."

He came down, and found that Mr. Bons was in the smoking-room with his father. It had been a dinner party.

He came down and saw that Mr. Bons was in the smoking room with his dad. They had just had a dinner party.

"Here is the great traveller!" said his father grimly. "Here is the young gentleman who drives in an omnibus over rainbows, while young ladies sing to him." Pleased with his wit, he laughed.

"Here comes the great traveler!" his father said with a serious expression. "This is the young man who rides in a bus over rainbows while young ladies sing to him." Amused by his own joke, he laughed.

"After all," said Mr. Bons, smiling, "there is something a little like it in Wagner. It is odd how, in quite illiterate minds, you will find glimmers of Artistic Truth. The case interests me. Let me plead for the culprit. We have all romanced in our time, haven't we?"

"After all," said Mr. Bons, smiling, "there's something a bit like it in Wagner. It's strange how even in completely uneducated minds, you can find hints of Artistic Truth. This situation fascinates me. Let me defend the person at fault. We've all daydreamed at some point, haven't we?"

"Hear how kind Mr. Bons is," said his mother, while his father said, "Very well. Let him say his Poem, and that will do. He is going away to my sister on Tuesday, and she will cure him of this alley-slopering." (Laughter.) "Say your Poem."

"Hear how kind Mr. Bons is," said his mother, while his father added, "Alright then. Let him recite his poem, and that will be enough. He’s going to visit my sister on Tuesday, and she’ll help him get over this nonsense." (Laughter.) "Go ahead and say your poem."

The boy began. "'Standing aloof in giant ignorance.'"

The boy started. "'Standing apart in huge ignorance.'"

His father laughed again—roared. "One for you, my son! 'Standing aloof in giant ignorance!' I never knew these poets talked sense. Just describes you. Here, Bons, you go in for poetry. Put him through it, will you, while I fetch up the whisky?"

His father laughed again—really burst out laughing. "This one's for you, my son! 'Standing apart in big ignorance!' I never realized these poets made any sense. Just describes you perfectly. Here, Bons, you should try your hand at poetry. Take him through it, will you, while I grab the whisky?"

"Yes, give me the Keats," said Mr. Bons. "Let him say his Keats to me."

"Yes, give me the Keats," said Mr. Bons. "Let him recite his Keats to me."

So for a few moments the wise man and the ignorant boy were left alone in the smoking-room.

So for a few moments, the wise man and the clueless boy were left alone in the smoking room.

"'Standing aloof in giant ignorance, of thee I dream and of the Cyclades, as one who sits ashore and longs perchance to visit——'"

"'Standing apart in big ignorance, I dream of you and the Cyclades, like someone who sits on the shore and wishes to visit——'"

"Quite right. To visit what?"

"Very true. To visit what?"

"'To visit dolphin coral in deep seas,'" said the boy, and burst into tears.

"'To visit dolphin coral in deep seas,'" the boy said, and then he broke down in tears.

"Come, come! why do you cry?"

"Come on, why are you crying?"

"Because—because all these words that only rhymed before, now that I've come back they're me."

"Because—all these words that used to just rhyme, now that I'm back, they represent who I am."

Mr. Bons laid the Keats down. The case was more interesting than he had expected. "You?" he exclaimed, "This sonnet, you?"

Mr. Bons put the Keats down. The case was more interesting than he had expected. "You?" he exclaimed, "This sonnet, you?"

"Yes—and look further on: 'Aye, on the shores of darkness there is light, and precipices show untrodden green.' It is so, sir. All these things are true."

"Yes—and look further along: 'Yes, on the edges of darkness there is light, and cliffs reveal untouched greenery.' It is true, sir. All of this is true."

"I never doubted it," said Mr. Bons, with closed eyes.

"I never doubted it," said Mr. Bons, with his eyes shut.

"You—then you believe me? You believe in the omnibus and the driver and the storm and that return ticket I got for nothing and——"

"You—so you believe me? You believe in the bus and the driver and the storm and that return ticket I got for free and——"

"Tut, tut! No more of your yarns, my boy. I meant that I never doubted the essential truth of Poetry. Some day, when you read more, you will understand what I mean."

"Tut, tut! No more of your stories, my boy. What I meant is that I never doubted the fundamental truth of Poetry. Someday, when you read more, you'll get what I mean."

"But Mr. Bons, it is so. There is light upon the shores of darkness. I have seen it coming. Light and a wind."

"But Mr. Bons, it is. There is light on the shores of darkness. I have seen it coming. Light and a wind."

"Nonsense," said Mr. Bons.

"Nonsense," said Mr. Bons.

"If I had stopped! They tempted me. They told me to give up my ticket—for you cannot come back if you lose your ticket. They called from the river for it, and indeed I was tempted, for I have never been so happy as among those precipices. But I thought of my mother and father, and that I must fetch them. Yet they will not come, though the road starts opposite our house. It has all happened as the people up there warned me, and Mr. Bons has disbelieved me like every one else. I have been caned. I shall never see that mountain again."

"If I had just stopped! They really tried to persuade me. They urged me to give up my ticket—because if you lose your ticket, you can’t come back. They called to me from the river, and honestly, I was tempted because I’ve never felt as happy as I did among those cliffs. But I thought about my mom and dad, and that I needed to bring them. Still, they won’t come, even though the road starts right by our house. Everything has gone exactly as the people up there warned me, and Mr. Bons doesn’t believe me, just like everyone else. I’ve been punished. I’ll never see that mountain again."

"What's that about me?" said Mr. Bons, sitting up in his chair very suddenly.

"What's that about me?" Mr. Bons said, abruptly sitting up in his chair.

"I told them about you, and how clever you were, and how many books you had, and they said, 'Mr. Bons will certainly disbelieve you.'"

"I told them about you and how smart you are, and how many books you have, and they said, 'Mr. Bons will definitely not believe you.'"

"Stuff and nonsense, my young friend. You grow impertinent. I—well—I will settle the matter. Not a word to your father. I will cure you. To-morrow evening I will myself call here to take you for a walk, and at sunset we will go up this alley opposite and hunt for your omnibus, you silly little boy."

"That's nonsense, my young friend. You're being rude. I—well—I will handle this. Not a word to your father. I will fix this. Tomorrow evening, I will come here myself to take you for a walk, and at sunset, we will head up this alley across the way and look for your bus, you silly little boy."

His face grew serious, for the boy was not disconcerted, but leapt about the room singing, "Joy! joy! I told them you would believe me. We will drive together over the rainbow. I told them that you would come." After all, could there be anything in the story? Wagner? Keats? Shelley? Sir Thomas Browne? Certainly the case was interesting.

His expression became serious, as the boy was not upset at all, but jumped around the room singing, "Joy! joy! I told them you would believe me. We will ride together over the rainbow. I told them you would come." After all, could there be any truth to the story? Wagner? Keats? Shelley? Sir Thomas Browne? It was definitely an intriguing situation.

And on the morrow evening, though it was pouring with rain, Mr. Bons did not omit to call at Agathox Lodge.

And the next evening, even though it was pouring rain, Mr. Bons made sure to stop by Agathox Lodge.

The boy was ready, bubbling with excitement, and skipping about in a way that rather vexed the President of the Literary Society. They took a turn down Buckingham Park Road, and then—having seen that no one was watching them—slipped up the alley. Naturally enough (for the sun was setting) they ran straight against the omnibus.

The boy was ready, full of excitement, and skipping around in a way that annoyed the President of the Literary Society. They turned down Buckingham Park Road, and then—after checking that no one was watching them—stepped into the alley. Naturally (since the sun was setting) they ran right into the bus.

"Good heavens!" exclaimed Mr. Bons. "Good gracious heavens!"

"Wow!" exclaimed Mr. Bons. "Oh my gosh!"

It was not the omnibus in which the boy had driven first, nor yet that in which he had returned. There were three horses—black, gray, and white, the gray being the finest. The driver, who turned round at the mention of goodness and of heaven, was a sallow man with terrifying jaws and sunken eyes. Mr. Bons, on seeing him, gave a cry as if of recognition, and began to tremble violently.

It wasn't the bus the boy first rode in, nor the one he rode back in. There were three horses—black, gray, and white, with the gray being the best-looking. The driver, who turned around when goodness and heaven were mentioned, was a pale man with scary jawlines and hollow eyes. Mr. Bons, upon seeing him, gasped as if he recognized him and started to shake uncontrollably.

The boy jumped in.

The kid jumped in.

"Is it possible?" cried Mr. Bons. "Is the impossible possible?"

"Is it possible?" shouted Mr. Bons. "Can the impossible actually happen?"

"Sir; come in, sir. It is such a fine omnibus. Oh, here is his name—Dan some one."

"Sir, please come in. This is such a nice bus. Oh, here is his name—Dan someone."

Mr. Bons sprang in too. A blast of wind immediately slammed the omnibus door, and the shock jerked down all the omnibus blinds, which were very weak on their springs.

Mr. Bons jumped in too. A gust of wind instantly slammed the bus door, and the impact pulled down all the bus blinds, which were pretty flimsy on their springs.

"Dan.... Show me. Good gracious heavens! we're moving."

"Dan... Show me. Oh my gosh! We're moving."

"Hooray!" said the boy.

"Yay!" said the boy.

Mr. Bons became flustered. He had not intended to be kidnapped. He could not find the door-handle, nor push up the blinds. The omnibus was quite dark, and by the time he had struck a match, night had come on outside also. They were moving rapidly.

Mr. Bons got flustered. He hadn’t planned on getting kidnapped. He couldn’t find the door handle or pull up the blinds. The bus was really dark, and by the time he managed to light a match, it had gotten dark outside too. They were moving quickly.

"A strange, a memorable adventure," he said, surveying the interior of the omnibus, which was large, roomy, and constructed with extreme regularity, every part exactly answering to every other part. Over the door (the handle of which was outside) was written, "Lasciate ogni baldanza voi che entrate"—at least, that was what was written, but Mr. Bons said that it was Lashy arty something, and that baldanza was a mistake for speranza. His voice sounded as if he was in church. Meanwhile, the boy called to the cadaverous driver for two return tickets. They were handed in without a word. Mr. Bons covered his face with his hand and again trembled. "Do you know who that is!" he whispered, when the little window had shut upon them. "It is the impossible."

"A strange, memorable adventure," he said, looking around the inside of the bus, which was spacious, comfortable, and built with perfect symmetry, every part matching precisely with every other part. Above the door (the handle was on the outside) was the inscription, "Lasciate ogni baldanza voi che entrate"—at least, that was what it said, but Mr. Bons claimed it was Lashy arty something, and that baldanza was a mistake for speranza. His voice sounded almost like he was in church. Meanwhile, the boy called to the gaunt driver for two return tickets. They were handed over without a word. Mr. Bons covered his face with his hand and trembled again. "Do you know who that is!" he whispered when the small window had closed on them. "It’s the impossible."

"Well, I don't like him as much as Sir Thomas Browne, though I shouldn't be surprised if he had even more in him."

"Well, I don't like him as much as Sir Thomas Browne, but I wouldn't be surprised if he had even more to offer."

"More in him?" He stamped irritably. "By accident you have made the greatest discovery of the century, and all you can say is that there is more in this man. Do you remember those vellum books in my library, stamped with red lilies? This—sit still, I bring you stupendous news!—this is the man who wrote them."

"More in him?" He stomped his foot in annoyance. "By chance, you’ve made the greatest discovery of the century, and all you can say is that there’s more to this man. Do you remember those vellum books in my library, stamped with red lilies? This—hold on, I have incredible news!—this is the man who wrote them."

The boy sat quite still. "I wonder if we shall see Mrs. Gamp?" he asked, after a civil pause.

The boy sat very still. "I wonder if we’ll see Mrs. Gamp?" he asked, after a polite pause.

"Mrs. ——?"

"Ms. ——?"

"Mrs. Gamp and Mrs. Harris. I like Mrs. Harris. I came upon them quite suddenly. Mrs. Gamp's bandboxes have moved over the rainbow so badly. All the bottoms have fallen out, and two of the pippins off her bedstead tumbled into the stream."

"Mrs. Gamp and Mrs. Harris. I like Mrs. Harris. I ran into them unexpectedly. Mrs. Gamp's bandboxes have been so knocked around. All the bottoms have fallen out, and two of the knobs from her bed frame fell into the stream."

"Out there sits the man who wrote my vellum books!" thundered Mr. Bons, "and you talk to me of Dickens and of Mrs. Gamp?"

"Over there is the guy who wrote my leather-bound books!" yelled Mr. Bons, "and you're talking to me about Dickens and Mrs. Gamp?"

"I know Mrs. Gamp so well," he apologized. "I could not help being glad to see her. I recognized her voice. She was telling Mrs. Harris about Mrs. Prig."

"I know Mrs. Gamp really well," he said apologetically. "I couldn’t help but feel happy to see her. I recognized her voice. She was talking to Mrs. Harris about Mrs. Prig."

"Did you spend the whole day in her elevating company?"

"Did you spend the whole day in her uplifting company?"

"Oh, no. I raced. I met a man who took me out beyond to a race-course. You run, and there are dolphins out at sea."

"Oh, no. I ran fast. I met a guy who took me out to a racetrack. You sprint, and there are dolphins out in the ocean."

"Indeed. Do you remember the man's name?"

"Yeah. Do you remember the guy's name?"

"Achilles. No; he was later. Tom Jones."

"Achilles. No; he came after. Tom Jones."

Mr. Bons sighed heavily. "Well, my lad, you have made a miserable mess of it. Think of a cultured person with your opportunities! A cultured person would have known all these characters and known what to have said to each. He would not have wasted his time with a Mrs. Gamp or a Tom Jones. The creations of Homer, of Shakespeare, and of Him who drives us now, would alone have contented him. He would not have raced. He would have asked intelligent questions."

Mr. Bons sighed deeply. "Well, my boy, you really messed this up. Consider someone with good taste and your chances! A refined person would have recognized all these characters and would have known what to say to each one. They wouldn’t have wasted their time with a Mrs. Gamp or a Tom Jones. The works of Homer, Shakespeare, and whoever guides us now would have been enough for them. They wouldn’t have rushed through it. They would have asked thoughtful questions."

"But, Mr. Bons," said the boy humbly, "you will be a cultured person. I told them so."

"But, Mr. Bons," the boy said respectfully, "you'll be an educated person. I told them that."

"True, true, and I beg you not to disgrace me when we arrive. No gossiping. No running. Keep close to my side, and never speak to these Immortals unless they speak to you. Yes, and give me the return tickets. You will be losing them."

"Yes, yes, and please don’t embarrass me when we get there. No gossiping. No running. Stay close to me, and don’t talk to these Immortals unless they talk to you first. Also, give me the return tickets. You’ll end up losing them."

The boy surrendered the tickets, but felt a little sore. After all, he had found the way to this place. It was hard first to be disbelieved and then to be lectured. Meanwhile, the rain had stopped, and moonlight crept into the omnibus through the cracks in the blinds.

The boy handed over the tickets but felt a bit hurt. After all, he had discovered the way to this place. It was frustrating to be dismissed at first and then lectured. In the meantime, the rain had stopped, and moonlight seeped into the bus through the gaps in the blinds.

"But how is there to be a rainbow?" cried the boy.

"But how can there be a rainbow?" the boy exclaimed.

"You distract me," snapped Mr. Bons. "I wish to meditate on beauty. I wish to goodness I was with a reverent and sympathetic person."

"You’re distracting me," snapped Mr. Bons. "I want to focus on beauty. I really wish I was with someone who was caring and understanding."

The lad bit his lip. He made a hundred good resolutions. He would imitate Mr. Bons all the visit. He would not laugh, or run, or sing, or do any of the vulgar things that must have disgusted his new friends last time. He would be very careful to pronounce their names properly, and to remember who knew whom. Achilles did not know Tom Jones—at least, so Mr. Bons said. The Duchess of Malfi was older than Mrs. Gamp—at least, so Mr. Bons said. He would be self-conscious, reticent, and prim. He would never say he liked any one. Yet when the Wind flew up at a chance touch of his head, all these good resolutions went to the winds, for the omnibus had reached the summit of a moonlit hill, and there was the chasm, and there, across it, stood the old precipices, dreaming, with their feet in the everlasting river. He exclaimed, "The mountain! Listen to the new tune in the water! Look at the camp fires in the ravines," and Mr. Bons, after a hasty glance, retorted, "Water? Camp fires? Ridiculous rubbish. Hold your tongue. There is nothing at all."

The boy bit his lip. He made a hundred good intentions. He would copy Mr. Bons during the entire visit. He wouldn’t laugh, or run, or sing, or do any of the tacky things that must have annoyed his new friends last time. He would be very careful to pronounce their names correctly and to remember who knew whom. Achilles didn’t know Tom Jones—at least, that’s what Mr. Bons said. The Duchess of Malfi was older than Mrs. Gamp—again, that’s what Mr. Bons said. He would be self-conscious, reserved, and prim. He would never say he liked anyone. Yet when the wind brushed lightly against his head, all these good intentions flew out the window, because the bus had reached the top of a moonlit hill, and there was the chasm, and across it stood the old cliffs, gently dreaming with their feet in the eternal river. He exclaimed, "The mountain! Listen to the new sound in the water! Look at the campfires in the valleys," and Mr. Bons, after a quick glance, snapped back, "Water? Campfires? Nonsense. Be quiet. There’s nothing at all."

Yet, under his eyes, a rainbow formed, compounded not of sunlight and storm, but of moonlight and the spray of the river. The three horses put their feet upon it. He thought it the finest rainbow he had seen, but did not dare to say so, since Mr. Bons said that nothing was there. He leant out—the window had opened—and sang the tune that rose from the sleeping waters.

Yet, in front of him, a rainbow appeared, made not of sunlight and rain, but of moonlight and the river's spray. The three horses stepped onto it. He thought it was the most beautiful rainbow he had ever seen, but he didn't want to say anything since Mr. Bons claimed there was nothing there. He leaned out—the window had opened—and sang the melody that came from the tranquil waters.

"The prelude to Rhinegold?" said Mr. Bons suddenly. "Who taught you these leit motifs?" He, too, looked out of the window. Then he behaved very oddly. He gave a choking cry, and fell back on to the omnibus floor. He writhed and kicked. His face was green.

"The prelude to Rhinegold?" Mr. Bons suddenly asked. "Who taught you these leit motifs?" He also looked out the window. Then he acted really strange. He let out a choking sound and collapsed onto the bus floor. He thrashed around and kicked. His face turned green.

"Does the bridge make you dizzy?" the boy asked.

"Does the bridge make you feel dizzy?" the boy asked.

"Dizzy!" gasped Mr. Bons. "I want to go back. Tell the driver."

"Dizzy!" gasped Mr. Bons. "I want to go back. Tell the driver."

But the driver shook his head.

But the driver shook his head.

"We are nearly there," said the boy, "They are asleep. Shall I call? They will be so pleased to see you, for I have prepared them."

"We're almost there," the boy said. "They’re asleep. Should I call them? They’ll be so happy to see you since I’ve prepared them."

Mr. Bons moaned. They moved over the lunar rainbow, which ever and ever broke away behind their wheels. How still the night was! Who would be sentry at the Gate?

Mr. Bons groaned. They crossed over the lunar rainbow, which continuously faded away behind their wheels. How quiet the night was! Who would stand guard at the Gate?

"I am coming," he shouted, again forgetting the hundred resolutions. "I am returning—I, the boy."

"I’m coming," he shouted, once again forgetting all his promises. "I’m back—I, the boy."

"The boy is returning," cried a voice to other voices, who repeated, "The boy is returning."

"The boy is coming back," shouted one voice to the others, who echoed, "The boy is coming back."

"I am bringing Mr. Bons with me."

"I’m bringing Mr. Bons with me."

Silence.

Silence.

"I should have said Mr. Bons is bringing me with him."

"I should have said Mr. Bons is taking me with him."

Profound silence.

Deep silence.

"Who stands sentry?"

"Who’s on guard?"

"Achilles."

"Achilles."

And on the rocky causeway, close to the springing of the rainbow bridge, he saw a young man who carried a wonderful shield.

And on the rocky path, near the start of the rainbow bridge, he saw a young man holding an amazing shield.

"Mr. Bons, it is Achilles, armed."

"Mr. Bons, it's Achilles, geared up."

"I want to go back," said Mr. Bons.

"I want to go back," Mr. Bons said.

The last fragment of the rainbow melted, the wheels sang upon the living rock, the door of the omnibus burst open. Out leapt the boy—he could not resist—and sprang to meet the warrior, who, stooping suddenly, caught him on his shield.

The last bit of the rainbow faded away, the wheels rolled over the solid ground, and the bus door swung open. The boy jumped out—he couldn't help it—and rushed to meet the warrior, who, bending down suddenly, caught him on his shield.

"Achilles!" he cried, "let me get down, for I am ignorant and vulgar, and I must wait for that Mr. Bons of whom I told you yesterday."

"Achilles!" he exclaimed, "please let me get down, because I'm clueless and ordinary, and I need to wait for that Mr. Bons I mentioned to you yesterday."

But Achilles raised him aloft. He crouched on the wonderful shield, on heroes and burning cities, on vineyards graven in gold, on every dear passion, every joy, on the entire image of the Mountain that he had discovered, encircled, like it, with an everlasting stream. "No, no," he protested, "I am not worthy. It is Mr. Bons who must be up here."

But Achilles lifted him up. He was perched on the amazing shield, surrounded by heroes and burning cities, by vineyards etched in gold, by every cherished desire, every joy, by the complete picture of the Mountain he had found, surrounded, like it, by an endless stream. "No, no," he insisted, "I don’t deserve this. It’s Mr. Bons who should be up here."

But Mr. Bons was whimpering, and Achilles trumpeted and cried, "Stand upright upon my shield!"

But Mr. Bons was whining, and Achilles shouted, "Stand tall on my shield!"

"Sir, I did not mean to stand! something made me stand. Sir, why do you delay? Here is only the great Achilles, whom you knew."

"Sir, I didn't mean to stand! Something made me do it. Sir, why are you hesitating? Here is only the great Achilles, whom you know."

Mr. Bons screamed, "I see no one. I see nothing. I want to go back." Then he cried to the driver, "Save me! Let me stop in your chariot. I have honoured you. I have quoted you. I have bound you in vellum. Take me back to my world."

Mr. Bons shouted, "I see no one. I see nothing. I want to go back." Then he yelled to the driver, "Help me! Let me get off your ride. I've respected you. I've quoted you. I've put you in a fancy book. Take me back to my world."

The driver replied, "I am the means and not the end. I am the food and not the life. Stand by yourself, as that boy has stood. I cannot save you. For poetry is a spirit; and they that would worship it must worship in spirit and in truth."

The driver replied, "I am the means, not the goal. I am the food, not the life. Stand on your own, like that boy has. I can't save you. Poetry is a spirit; those who want to appreciate it must do so in spirit and in truth."

Mr. Bons—he could not resist—crawled out of the beautiful omnibus. His face appeared, gaping horribly. His hands followed, one gripping the step, the other beating the air. Now his shoulders emerged, his chest, his stomach. With a shriek of "I see London," he fell—fell against the hard, moonlit rock, fell into it as if it were water, fell through it, vanished, and was seen by the boy no more.

Mr. Bons—he just couldn't help himself—crawled out of the beautiful bus. His face appeared, looking terrifying. His hands followed, one holding onto the step, the other flailing in the air. Now his shoulders emerged, his chest, his stomach. With a scream of "I see London," he fell—fell against the hard, moonlit rock, fell into it as if it were water, fell through it, disappeared, and was no longer seen by the boy.

"Where have you fallen to, Mr. Bons? Here is a procession arriving to honour you with music and torches. Here come the men and women whose names you know. The mountain is awake, the river is awake, over the race-course the sea is awaking those dolphins, and it is all for you. They want you——"

"Where have you fallen to, Mr. Bons? A parade is arriving to honor you with music and lights. Here come the men and women whose names you recognize. The mountain is alive, the river is alive, over the racetrack the sea is awakening those dolphins, and it's all for you. They want you——"

There was the touch of fresh leaves on his forehead. Some one had crowned him.

There was the feel of fresh leaves on his forehead. Someone had crowned him.

ΤΈΛΟΣ

THE END


From the Kingston Gazette, Surbiton Times, and Paynes Park Observer.

From the Kingston Gazette, Surbiton Times, and Paynes Park Observer.

The body of Mr. Septimus Bons has been found in a shockingly mutilated condition in the vicinity of the Bermondsey gas-works. The deceased's pockets contained a sovereign-purse, a silver cigar-case, a bijou pronouncing dictionary, and a couple of omnibus tickets. The unfortunate gentleman had apparently been hurled from a considerable height. Foul play is suspected, and a thorough investigation is pending by the authorities.

The body of Mr. Septimus Bons has been found in a shockingly mutilated state near the Bermondsey gas works. The deceased's pockets held a coin pouch, a silver cigar case, a compact dictionary, and a couple of bus tickets. It seems the unfortunate man was thrown from a significant height. Suspicion of foul play is in the air, and the authorities are preparing a thorough investigation.

THE END

THE END


OTHER KINGDOM

I

"'Quem, whom; fugis, are you avoiding; ab demens, you silly ass; habitarunt di quoque, gods too have lived in; silvas, the woods.' Go ahead!"

"'Quem, whom; fugis, are you avoiding; ab demens, you silly ass; habitarunt di quoque, gods too have lived in; silvas, the woods.' Go ahead!"

I always brighten the classics—it is part of my system—and therefore I translated demens by "silly ass." But Miss Beaumont need not have made a note of the translation, and Ford, who knows better, need not have echoed after me. "Whom are you avoiding, you silly ass, gods too have lived in the woods."

I always lighten up the classics—it’s part of my approach—and so I translated demens as "silly ass." But Miss Beaumont didn’t need to comment on the translation, and Ford, who knows better, didn’t need to repeat what I said. "Who are you trying to avoid, you silly ass? Even the gods have lived in the woods."

"Ye—es," I replied, with scholarly hesitation. "Ye—es. Silvas—woods, wooded spaces, the country generally. Yes. Demens, of course, is de—mens. 'Ah, witless fellow! Gods, I say, even gods have dwelt in the woods ere now.'"

"Y—es," I replied, with a thoughtful pause. "Y—es. Silvas—forests, wooded areas, the countryside overall. Yes. Demens, of course, is de—mens. 'Ah, foolish guy! Honestly, even gods have lived in the woods before.'"

"But I thought gods always lived in the sky," said Mrs. Worters, interrupting our lesson for I think the third-and-twentieth time.

"But I thought gods always lived in the sky," Mrs. Worters said, interrupting our lesson for what I think was the twenty-third time.

"Not always," answered Miss Beaumont. As she spoke she inserted "witless fellow" as an alternative to "silly ass."

"Not always," replied Miss Beaumont. As she spoke, she used "witless fellow" instead of "silly ass."

"I always thought they lived in the sky."

"I always thought they lived in the sky."

"Oh, no, Mrs. Worters," the girl repeated. "Not always." And finding her place in the note-book she read as follows: "Gods. Where. Chief deities—Mount Olympus. Pan—most places, as name implies. Oreads—mountains. Sirens, Tritons, Nereids—water (salt). Naiads —water (fresh). Satyrs, Fauns, etc.—woods. Dryads—trees."

"Oh, no, Mrs. Worters," the girl said again. "Not always." And finding her place in the notebook, she read as follows: "Gods. Where. Main deities—Mount Olympus. Pan—most places, as the name suggests. Oreads—mountains. Sirens, Tritons, Nereids—water (salt). Naiads—water (fresh). Satyrs, Fauns, etc.—woods. Dryads—trees."

"Well, dear, you have learnt a lot. And will you now tell me what good it has done you?"

"Well, dear, you've learned a lot. So, will you tell me what good it has done for you?"

"It has helped me—" faltered Miss Beaumont. She was very earnest over her classics. She wished she could have said what good they had done her.

"It has helped me—" stumbled Miss Beaumont. She was very serious about her classics. She wished she could have expressed how much they had benefited her.

Ford came to her rescue, "Of course it's helped you. The classics are full of tips. They teach you how to dodge things."

Ford came to her rescue, "Of course it's helped you. The classics are packed with advice. They show you how to avoid things."

I begged my young friend not to dodge his Virgil lesson.

I urged my young friend not to skip his Virgil lesson.

"But they do!" he cried. "Suppose that long-haired brute Apollo wants to give you a music lesson. Well, out you pop into the laurels. Or Universal Nature comes along. You aren't feeling particularly keen on Universal Nature so you turn into a reed."

"But they do!" he exclaimed. "Imagine that long-haired guy Apollo wants to give you a music lesson. Well, you just step out into the laurel trees. Or Universal Nature shows up. You're not really in the mood for Universal Nature, so you turn into a reed."

"Is Jack mad?" asked Mrs. Worters.

"Is Jack upset?" asked Mrs. Worters.

But Miss Beaumont had caught the allusions—which were quite ingenious I must admit. "And Croesus?" she inquired. "What was it one turned into to get away from Croesus?"

But Miss Beaumont had picked up on the hints—which were pretty clever, I have to say. "And Croesus?" she asked. "What did one turn into to escape Croesus?"

I hastened to tidy up her mythology. "Midas, Miss Beaumont, not Croesus. And he turns you—you don't turn yourself: he turns you into gold."

I quickly corrected her misunderstanding. "It's Midas, Miss Beaumont, not Croesus. He turns you—you don't turn yourself; he turns you into gold."

"There's no dodging Midas," said Ford.

"There's no avoiding Midas," Ford said.

"Surely—" said Miss Beaumont. She had been learning Latin not quite a fortnight, but she would have corrected the Regius Professor.

"Surely—" said Miss Beaumont. She had been learning Latin for less than two weeks, but she would have corrected the Regius Professor.

He began to tease her. "Oh, there's no dodging Midas! He just comes, he touches you, and you pay him several thousand per cent, at once. You're gold—a young golden lady—if he touches you."

He started to tease her. "Oh, there's no escaping Midas! He just shows up, touches you, and you owe him thousands of percent, right away. You turn into gold—a young golden lady—if he touches you."

"I won't be touched!" she cried, relapsing into her habitual frivolity.

"I won't be touched!" she exclaimed, slipping back into her usual playfulness.

"Oh, but he'll touch you."

"Oh, but he will touch you."

"He sha'n't!"

"He won't!"

"He will."

"He's going to."

"He sha'n't!"

"He won't!"

"He will."

"He's going to."

Miss Beaumont took up her Virgil and smacked Ford over the head with it.

Miss Beaumont picked up her Virgil and hit Ford over the head with it.

"Evelyn! Evelyn!" said Mrs. Worters. "Now you are forgetting yourself. And you also forget my question. What good has Latin done you?"

"Evelyn! Evelyn!" said Mrs. Worters. "Now you're losing your composure. And you're forgetting my question. What good has Latin done for you?"

"Mr. Ford—what good has Latin done you?"

"Mr. Ford—how has Latin helped you?"

"Mr. Inskip—what good has Latin done us?"

"Mr. Inskip—what good has Latin done for us?"

So I was let in for the classical controversy. The arguments for the study of Latin are perfectly sound, but they are difficult to remember, and the afternoon sun was hot, and I needed my tea. But I had to justify my existence as a coach, so I took off my eye-glasses and breathed on them and said, "My dear Ford, what a question!"

So I got caught up in that classic debate. The reasons for studying Latin make perfect sense, but they’re hard to keep in mind, and the afternoon sun was blazing, plus I really wanted my tea. But I had to justify my role as a coach, so I took off my glasses, breathed on them, and said, "My dear Ford, what a question!"

"It's all right for Jack," said Mrs. Worters. "Jack has to pass his entrance examination. But what's the good of it for Evelyn? None at all."

"It’s fine for Jack," said Mrs. Worters. "Jack needs to pass his entrance exam. But what’s the point for Evelyn? None at all."

"No, Mrs. Worters," I persisted, pointing my eye-glasses at her. "I cannot agree. Miss Beaumont is—in a sense—new to our civilization. She is entering it, and Latin is one of the subjects in her entrance examination also. No one can grasp modern life without some knowledge of its origins."

"No, Mrs. Worters," I insisted, adjusting my glasses. "I can't agree. Miss Beaumont is, in a way, new to our society. She's stepping into it, and Latin is one of the subjects in her entrance exam too. No one can understand modern life without knowing something about where it comes from."

"But why should she grasp modern life?" said the tiresome woman.

"But why should she understand modern life?" said the annoying woman.

"Well, there you are!" I retorted, and shut up my eye-glasses with a snap.

"Well, there you are!" I replied, snapping my glasses shut.

"Mr. Inskip, I am not there. Kindly tell me what's the good of it all. Oh, I've been through it myself: Jupiter, Venus, Juno, I know the lot of them. And many of the stories not at all proper."

"Mr. Inskip, I’m not there. Please tell me what the point of it all is. Oh, I’ve been through it myself: Jupiter, Venus, Juno, I know them all. And many of the stories aren’t proper at all."

"Classical education," I said drily, "is not entirely confined to classical mythology. Though even the mythology has its value. Dreams if you like, but there is value in dreams."

"Classical education," I said flatly, "is not just about classical mythology. Though even mythology has its worth. Call it dreams if you want, but there is value in dreams."

"I too have dreams," said Mrs. Worters, "but I am not so foolish as to mention them afterwards."

"I have dreams too," said Mrs. Worters, "but I'm not foolish enough to talk about them afterwards."

Mercifully we were interrupted. A rich virile voice close behind us said, "Cherish your dreams!" We had been joined by our host, Harcourt Worters—Mrs. Worters' son, Miss Beaumont's fiance. Ford's guardian, my employer: I must speak of him as Mr. Worters.

Mercifully, we were interrupted. A deep, strong voice from close behind us said, "Cherish your dreams!" Our host, Harcourt Worters—Mrs. Worters' son, Miss Beaumont's fiancé—had joined us. Ford's guardian and my boss: I have to refer to him as Mr. Worters.

"Let us cherish our dreams!" he repeated. "All day I've been fighting, haggling, bargaining. And to come out on to this lawn and see you all learning Latin, so happy, so passionless, so Arcadian——"

"Let's hold on to our dreams!" he said again. "I've been spending all day fighting, negotiating, and making deals. And to step out onto this lawn and see all of you learning Latin, so happy, so unemotional, so idyllic——"

He did not finish the sentence, but sank into the chair next to Miss Beaumont, and possessed himself of her hand. As he did so she sang: "Áh yoù sílly àss góds lìve in woóds!"

He didn’t finish the sentence but sank into the chair next to Miss Beaumont and took her hand. As he did this, she sang: "Ah, you silly ass, gods live in woods!"

"What have we here?" said Mr. Worters with a slight frown.

"What do we have here?" Mr. Worters said, slightly frowning.

With the other hand she pointed to me.

With her other hand, she pointed at me.

"Virgil—" I stammered. "Colloquial translation——"

"Virgil—" I stammered. "Casual translation——"

"Oh, I see; a colloquial translation of poetry." Then his smile returned. "Perhaps if gods live in woods, that is why woods are so dear. I have just bought Other Kingdom Copse!"

"Oh, I get it; a casual translation of poetry." Then his smile came back. "Maybe if gods live in the woods, that’s why we cherish them so much. I just bought Other Kingdom Copse!"

Loud exclamations of joy. Indeed, the beeches in that copse are as fine as any in Hertfordshire. Moreover, it, and the meadow by which it is approached, have always made an ugly notch in the rounded contours of the Worters estate. So we were all very glad that Mr. Worters had purchased Other Kingdom. Only Ford kept silent, stroking his head where the Virgil had hit it, and smiling a little to himself as he did so.

Loud shouts of joy. The beeches in that grove are just as beautiful as any in Hertfordshire. Plus, it and the meadow leading to it have always created an awkward indentation in the smooth shape of the Worters estate. So, we were all really happy that Mr. Worters had bought Other Kingdom. Only Ford stayed quiet, rubbing his head where the Virgil had struck it, and smiling slightly to himself as he did.

"Judging from the price I paid, I should say there was a god in every tree. But price, this time was no object." He glanced at Miss Beaumont.

"Considering the amount I paid, I’d say there was a god in every tree. But this time, money didn’t matter." He looked over at Miss Beaumont.

"You admire beeches, Evelyn, do you not?"

"You admire beeches, Evelyn, don’t you?"

"I forget always which they are. Like this?"

"I always forget which ones they are. Is it like this?"

She flung her arms up above her head, close together, so that she looked like a slender column. Then her body swayed and her delicate green dress quivered over it with the suggestion of countless leaves.

She threw her arms up above her head, close together, making her look like a slender column. Then her body swayed, and her delicate green dress fluttered around her, hinting at countless leaves.

"My dear child!" exclaimed her lover.

"My dear child!" her lover exclaimed.

"No: that is a silver birch," said Ford,

"No, that's a silver birch," said Ford,

"Oh, of course. Like this, then." And she twitched up her skirts so that for a moment they spread out in great horizontal layers, like the layers of a beech.

"Oh, of course. Like this, then." And she lifted her skirts so that for a moment they fanned out in big horizontal layers, like the layers of a beech tree.

We glanced at the house, but none of the servants were looking. So we laughed, and said she ought to go on the variety stage.

We looked at the house, but none of the staff were paying attention. So we laughed and said she should pursue a career on the variety stage.

"Ah, this is the kind I like!" she cried, and practised the beech-tree again.

"Ah, this is the kind I like!" she exclaimed, and practiced the beech tree again.

"I thought so," said Mr. Worters. "I thought so. Other Kingdom Copse is yours."

"I figured as much," said Mr. Worters. "I figured as much. Other Kingdom Copse is yours."

"Mine——?" She had never had such a present in her life. She could not realize it.

"Mine—?" She had never received such a gift in her life. She couldn't comprehend it.

"The purchase will be drawn up in your name. You will sign the deed. Receive the wood, with my love. It is a second engagement ring."

"The purchase will be made in your name. You will sign the deed. Take the wood, with my love. It’s a second engagement ring."

"But is it—is it mine? Can I—do what I like there?"

"But is it—is it actually mine? Can I—do whatever I want there?"

"You can," said Mr. Worters, smiling.

"You can," Mr. Worters said with a smile.

She rushed at him and kissed him. She kissed Mrs. Worters. She would have kissed myself and Ford if we had not extruded elbows. The joy of possession had turned her head.

She ran up to him and kissed him. She kissed Mrs. Worters. She probably would have kissed me and Ford if we hadn't put our elbows out. The thrill of having what she wanted had gone to her head.

"It's mine! I can walk there, work there, live there. A wood of my own! Mine for ever."

"It's mine! I can walk there, work there, live there. A forest of my own! Mine forever."

"Yours, at all events, for ninety-nine years."

"Yours, for sure, for ninety-nine years."

"Ninety-nine years?" I regret to say there was a tinge of disappointment in her voice.

"Ninety-nine years?" I’m sorry to say there was a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"My dear child! Do you expect to live longer?"

"My dear child! Do you think you'll live longer?"

"I suppose I can't," she replied, and flushed a little. "I don't know."

"I guess I can't," she said, slightly embarrassed. "I have no idea."

"Ninety-nine seems long enough to most people. I have got this house, and the very lawn you are standing on, on a lease of ninety-nine years. Yet I call them my own, and I think I am justified. Am I not?"

"Ninety-nine years seems long enough for most people. I have this house, and the very lawn you’re standing on, on a ninety-nine-year lease. Yet I consider them my own, and I think I have every right to. Don’t you agree?"

"Oh, yes."

"Yeah."

"Ninety-nine years is practically for ever. Isn't it?"

"Ninety-nine years is basically forever. Right?"

"Oh, yes. It must be."

"Oh, definitely. It has to be."

Ford possesses a most inflammatory note-book. Outside it is labelled "Private," inside it is headed "Practically a book." I saw him make an entry in it now, "Eternity: practically ninety-nine years."

Ford has a very controversial notebook. It's labeled "Private" on the outside and titled "Practically a book" on the inside. I just saw him write in it, "Eternity: practically ninety-nine years."

Mr. Worters, as if speaking to himself, now observed: "My goodness! My goodness! How land has risen! Perfectly astounding."

Mr. Worters, almost talking to himself, now said: "Wow! Wow! Look how much land has gone up! It's totally incredible."

I saw that he was in need of a Boswell, so I said: "Has it, indeed?"

I noticed that he needed a Boswell, so I said, "Has it really?"

"My dear Inskip. Guess what I could have got that wood for ten years ago! But I refused. Guess why."

"My dear Inskip. Can you believe what I could have gotten that wood for ten years ago? But I turned it down. Can you guess why?"

We could not guess why.

We couldn’t figure out why.

"Because the transaction would not have been straight." A most becoming blush spread over his face as he uttered the noble word. "Not straight. Straight legally. But not morally straight. We were to force the hands of the man who owned it. I refused. The others—decent fellows in their way—told me I was squeamish. I said, 'Yes. Perhaps I am. My name is plain Harcourt Worters—not a well-known name if you go outside the City and my own country, but a name which, where it is known, carries, I flatter myself, some weight. And I will not sign my name to this. That is all. Call me squeamish if you like. But I will not sign. It is just a fad of mine. Let us call it a fad.'" He blushed again. Ford believes that his guardian blushes all over—if you could strip him and make him talk nobly he would look like a boiled lobster. There is a picture of him in this condition in the note-book.

"Because the transaction wouldn’t have been right." A deep blush spread across his face as he said the noble word. "Not right. Right according to the law. But not morally right. We were going to pressure the owner. I refused. The others—good guys in their own way—told me I was being overly sensitive. I said, 'Yes. Maybe I am. My name is simply Harcourt Worters—not a famous name if you go beyond the City and my own country, but a name that, where it's known, carries, I like to think, some weight. And I won’t put my name on this. That’s all. Call me overly sensitive if you want. But I won’t sign. It’s just a personal principle of mine. Let’s call it a principle.'" He blushed again. Ford thinks that his guardian blushes all over—if you could strip him down and make him talk nobly, he would look like a boiled lobster. There’s a picture of him in this state in the notebook.

"So the man who owned it then didn't own it now?" said Miss Beaumont, who had followed the narrative with some interest.

"So the guy who owned it back then doesn't own it now?" said Miss Beaumont, who had been following the story with some interest.

"Oh, no!" said Mr. Worters.

"Oh, no!" said Mr. Worters.

"Why no!" said Mrs. Worters absently, as she hunted in the grass for her knitting-needle. "Of course not. It belongs to the widow."

"Of course not!" said Mrs. Worters absentmindedly as she searched the grass for her knitting needle. "It belongs to the widow."

"Tea!" cried her son, springing vivaciously to his feet. "I see tea and I want it. Come, mother. Come along, Evelyn. I can tell you it's no joke, a hard day in the battle of life. For life is practically a battle. To all intents and purposes a battle. Except for a few lucky fellows who can read books, and so avoid the realities. But I——"

"Tea!" exclaimed her son, jumping eagerly to his feet. "I see tea and I want some. Come on, Mom. Come on, Evelyn. Let me tell you, it’s no joke having a tough day in the battle of life. Because life is basically a battle. For all intents and purposes, it’s a battle. Except for a few lucky people who can read books and escape from reality. But I——"

His voice died away as he escorted the two ladies over the smooth lawn and up the stone steps to the terrace, on which the footman was placing tables and little chairs and a silver kettle-stand. More ladies came out of the house. We could just hear their shouts of excitement as they also were told of the purchase of Other Kingdom.

His voice faded as he led the two ladies across the smooth lawn and up the stone steps to the terrace, where the footman was setting up tables, small chairs, and a silver kettle stand. More ladies emerged from the house. We could barely hear their excited shouts as they learned about the purchase of Other Kingdom.

I like Ford. The boy has the makings of a scholar and—though for some reason he objects to the word—of a gentleman. It amused me now to see his lip curl with the vague cynicism of youth. He cannot understand the footman and the solid silver kettle-stand. They make him cross. For he has dreams—not exactly spiritual dreams: Mr. Worters is the man for those—but dreams of the tangible and the actual robust dreams, which take him, not to heaven, but to another earth. There are no footmen in this other earth, and the kettle-stands, I suppose, will not be made of silver, and I know that everything is to be itself, and not practically something else. But what this means, and, if it means anything, what the good of it is, I am not prepared to say. For though I have just said "there is value in dreams," I only said it to silence old Mrs. Worters.

I like Ford. The kid has the potential to be a scholar and—although he dislikes the term—for some reason, a gentleman. It amused me to see him curl his lip in the vague cynicism of youth. He can't grasp the footman and the solid silver kettle-stand. They annoy him. He has dreams—not exactly spiritual ones; Mr. Worters is the guy for that—but dreams of the real and tangible, strong dreams that take him, not to heaven, but to a different reality. There are no footmen in this different reality, and I assume the kettle-stands won’t be made of silver either, and I know that everything will just be itself, and not essentially something else. But what this really means, and if it means anything, what the point of it is, I can't say. Even though I just said "there is value in dreams," I only said it to hush old Mrs. Worters.

"Go ahead, man! We can't have tea till we've got through something."

"Go for it, man! We can't have tea until we've accomplished something."

He turned his chair away from the terrace, so that he could sit looking at the meadows and at the stream that runs through the meadows, and at the beech-trees of Other Kingdom that rise beyond the stream. Then, most gravely and admirably, he began to construe the Eclogues of Virgil.

He turned his chair away from the terrace so he could sit facing the meadows, the stream running through them, and the beech trees of Other Kingdom that rise beyond the stream. Then, most seriously and impressively, he started to interpret the Eclogues of Virgil.

II

Other Kingdom Copse is just like any other beech copse, and I am therefore spared the fatigue of describing it. And the stream in front of it, like many other streams, is not crossed by a bridge in the right place, and you must either walk round a mile or else you must paddle. Miss Beaumont suggested that we should paddle.

Other Kingdom Copse is just like any other beech grove, so I don't have to tire myself out describing it. The stream in front of it, like many other streams, isn’t crossed by a bridge in the right spot, so you either have to walk a mile around or just paddle through. Miss Beaumont suggested we should paddle.

Mr. Worters accepted the suggestion tumultuously. It only became evident gradually that he was not going to adopt it.

Mr. Worters enthusiastically accepted the suggestion. It gradually became clear that he wasn't actually going to go along with it.

"What fun! what fun! We will paddle to your kingdom. If only—if only it wasn't for the tea-things."

"What fun! What fun! We'll paddle to your kingdom. If only—if only it weren't for the tea things."

"But you can carry the tea-things on your back."

"But you can carry the tea items on your back."

"Why, yes! so I can. Or the servants could."

"Sure! I can do that. Or the staff could."

"Harcourt—no servants. This is my picnic, and my wood. I'm going to settle everything. I didn't tell you: I've got all the food. I've been in the village with Mr. Ford."

"Harcourt—no staff. This is my picnic, and my woods. I'm going to handle everything. I didn't mention it: I've got all the food. I went to the village with Mr. Ford."

"In the village——?"

"In the village—?"

"Yes, We got biscuits and oranges and half a pound of tea. That's all you'll have. He carried them up. And he'll carry them over the stream. I want you just to lend me some tea-things—not the best ones. I'll take care of them. That's all."

"Yeah, we got biscuits, oranges, and half a pound of tea. That’s all you’ll get. He took them up and will carry them across the stream. I just need you to lend me some tea stuff—not the best ones. I’ll take good care of them. That’s it."

"Dear creature...."

"Dear friend...."

"Evelyn," said Mrs. Worters, "how much did you and Jack pay for that tea?"

"Evelyn," Mrs. Worters said, "how much did you and Jack spend on that tea?"

"For the half-pound, tenpence."

"Ten pence for half a pound."

Mrs. Worters received the announcement in gloomy silence.

Mrs. Worters received the announcement in quiet sadness.

"Mother!" cried Mr. Worters. "Why, I forgot! How could we go paddling with mother?"

"Mom!" shouted Mr. Worters. "Oh no! How could we go paddling without Mom?"

"Oh, but, Mrs. Worters, we could carry you over."

"Oh, but Mrs. Worters, we can carry you over."

"Thank you, dearest child. I am sure you could."

"Thank you, my dear child. I'm sure you can."

"Alas! alas! Evelyn. Mother is laughing at us. She would sooner die than be carried. And alas! there are my sisters, and Mrs. Osgood: she has a cold, tiresome woman. No: we shall have to go round by the bridge."

"Wow! Wow! Evelyn. Mom is making fun of us. She'd rather die than be carried. And oh no! There are my sisters, and Mrs. Osgood: she's a cold, annoying woman. No: we'll have to go around by the bridge."

"But some of us——" began Ford. His guardian cut him short with a quick look.

"But some of us——" started Ford. His guardian interrupted him with a sharp glance.

So we went round—a procession of eight. Miss Beaumont led us. She was full of fun—at least so I thought at the time, but when I reviewed her speeches afterwards I could not find in them anything amusing. It was all this kind of thing: "Single file! Pretend you're in church and don't talk. Mr. Ford, turn out your toes. Harcourt—at the bridge throw to the Naiad a pinch of tea. She has a headache. She has had a headache for nineteen hundred years." All that she said was quite stupid. I cannot think why I liked it at the time.

So we went around—a group of eight. Miss Beaumont was leading us. She seemed full of fun—at least that's what I thought back then, but when I looked back at her speeches later, I couldn’t find anything funny in them. It was all stuff like this: "Single file! Act like you're in church and don't talk. Mr. Ford, point your toes out. Harcourt—when we get to the bridge, toss a pinch of tea to the Naiad. She has a headache. She's had a headache for nineteen hundred years." Everything she said was pretty silly. I don't understand why I liked it at the time.

As we approached the copse she said, "Mr. Inskip, sing, and we'll sing after you: Áh yoù silly àss góds lìve in woóds." I cleared my throat and gave out the abominable phrase, and we all chanted it as if it were a litany. There was something attractive about Miss Beaumont. I was not surprised that Harcourt had picked her out of "Ireland" and had brought her home, without money, without connections, almost without antecedents, to be his bride. It was daring of him, but he knew himself to be a daring fellow. She brought him nothing; but that he could afford, he had so vast a surplus of spiritual and commercial goods. "In time," I heard him tell his mother, "in time Evelyn will repay me a thousandfold." Meanwhile there was something attractive about her. If it were my place to like people, I could have liked her very much.

As we got closer to the small group of trees, she said, "Mr. Inskip, sing, and we’ll join in after you: Ah, you silly ass, gods live in woods." I cleared my throat and blurted out the ridiculous line, and we all chanted it like it was a ritual. There was something appealing about Miss Beaumont. I wasn’t surprised that Harcourt had chosen her from "Ireland" and brought her home, without money, connections, or much of a background, to be his bride. It was bold of him, but he knew he was a bold guy. She didn’t bring him anything; but that didn’t matter to him since he had plenty of spiritual and material wealth to spare. "In time," I heard him tell his mother, "in time Evelyn will pay me back a thousandfold." In the meantime, there was something attractive about her. If it were my role to like people, I could have liked her a lot.

"Stop singing!" she cried. We had entered the wood. "Welcome, all of you." We bowed. Ford, who had not been laughing, bowed down to the ground. "And now be seated. Mrs. Worters—will you sit there—against that tree with a green trunk? It will show up your beautiful dress."

"Stop singing!" she shouted. We had stepped into the woods. "Welcome, everyone." We bowed. Ford, who hadn’t been laughing, bowed all the way to the ground. "Now, please have a seat. Mrs. Worters—could you sit over there—against that tree with the green trunk? It'll highlight your beautiful dress."

"Very well, dear, I will," said Mrs. Worters.

"Sure thing, dear, I will," said Mrs. Worters.

"Anna—there. Mr. Inskip next to her. Then Ruth and Mrs. Osgood. Oh, Harcourt—do sit a little forward, so that you'll hide the house. I don't want to see the house at all."

"Anna—there. Mr. Inskip next to her. Then Ruth and Mrs. Osgood. Oh, Harcourt—can you lean forward a bit? I don't want to see the house at all."

"I won't!" laughed her lover, "I want my back against a tree, too."

"I won't!" her lover laughed, "I want my back against a tree too."

"Miss Beaumont," asked Ford, "where shall I sit?" He was standing at attention, like a soldier.

"Miss Beaumont," Ford asked, "where should I sit?" He was standing straight, like a soldier.

"Oh, look at all these Worters!" she cried, "and one little Ford in the middle of them!" For she was at that state of civilization which appreciates a pun.

"Oh, look at all these Worters!" she exclaimed, "and one little Ford right in the middle of them!" For she was at that point in civilization where she appreciated a pun.

"Shall I stand, Miss Beaumont? Shall I hide the house from you if I stand?"

"Should I stand, Miss Beaumont? Will it block your view of the house if I do?"

"Sit down, Jack, you baby!" cried his guardian, breaking in with needless asperity. "Sit down!"

"Sit down, Jack, you baby!" yelled his guardian, interrupting with unnecessary harshness. "Sit down!"

"He may just as well stand if he will," said she. "Just pull back your soft hat, Mr. Ford. Like a halo. Now you hide even the smoke from the chimneys. And it makes you look beautiful."

"He might as well stand if he wants to," she said. "Just pull back your soft hat, Mr. Ford. Like a halo. Now you even hide the smoke from the chimneys. And it makes you look beautiful."

"Evelyn! Evelyn! You are too hard on the boy. You'll tire him. He's one of those bookworms. He's not strong. Let him sit down."

"Evelyn! Evelyn! You're being too tough on the boy. You'll wear him out. He's one of those bookish types. He's not very strong. Let him take a seat."

"Aren't you strong?" she asked.

"You're so strong," she said.

"I am strong!" he cried. It is quite true. Ford has no right to be strong, but he is. He never did his dumb-bells or played in his school fifteen. But the muscles came. He thinks they came while he was reading Pindar.

"I am strong!" he shouted. It's completely true. Ford shouldn't be this strong, but he is. He never lifted weights or played on his school's sports team. But the muscles appeared. He believes they appeared while he was reading Pindar.

"Then you may just as well stand, if you will."

"Then you might as well stand, if you'd like."

"Evelyn! Evelyn! childish, selfish maiden! If poor Jack gets tired I will take his place. Why don't you want to see the house? Eh?"

"Evelyn! Evelyn! childish, selfish girl! If poor Jack gets tired, I’ll step in for him. Why don’t you want to see the house? Huh?"

Mrs. Worters and the Miss Worters moved uneasily. They saw that their Harcourt was not quite pleased. Theirs not to question why. It was for Evelyn to remove his displeasure, and they glanced at her.

Mrs. Worters and the Miss Worters shifted uncomfortably. They noticed that Harcourt was not entirely happy. It wasn't their place to ask why. It was up to Evelyn to fix his displeasure, and they looked at her.

"Well, why don't you want to see your future home? I must say—though I practically planned the house myself—that it looks very well from here. I like the gables. Miss! Answer me!"

"Well, why don’t you want to see your future home? I have to say—even though I basically designed the house myself—it looks really nice from here. I like the gables. Miss! Answer me!"

I felt for Miss Beaumont. A home-made gable is an awful thing, and Harcourt's mansion looked like a cottage with the dropsy. But what would she say?

I felt for Miss Beaumont. A homemade gable is a terrible thing, and Harcourt's mansion looked like a cottage that was swollen. But what would she say?

She said nothing.

She didn't say anything.

"Well?"

"What's up?"

It was as if he had never spoken. She was as merry, as smiling, as pretty as ever, and she said nothing. She had not realized that a question requires an answer.

It was like he had never said a word. She was just as cheerful, as smiling, and as pretty as always, and she said nothing. She hadn’t realized that a question needs an answer.

For us the situation was intolerable. I had to save it by making a tactful reference to the view, which, I said, reminded me a little of the country near Veii. It did not—indeed it could not, for I have never been near Veii. But it is part of my system to make classical allusions. And at all events I saved the situation.

For us, the situation was unbearable. I had to salvage it by gently mentioning the view, which I said reminded me a bit of the countryside near Veii. It didn’t—actually, it couldn’t, because I’ve never been near Veii. But I always include classical references. And in the end, I managed to save the situation.

Miss Beaumont was serious and rational at once. She asked me the date of Veii. I made a suitable answer.

Miss Beaumont was both serious and logical. She asked me the date of Veii. I gave her an appropriate answer.

"I do like the classics," she informed us. "They are so natural. Just writing down things."

"I really like the classics," she told us. "They're so authentic. Just writing things down."

"Ye—es," said I. "But the classics have their poetry as well as their prose. They're more than a record of facts."

"Yes," I said. "But the classics have their poetry as well as their prose. They're more than just a record of facts."

"Just writing down things," said Miss Beaumont, and smiled as if the silly definition pleased her.

"Just jotting down things," said Miss Beaumont, smiling as if the silly definition amused her.

Harcourt had recovered himself. "A very just criticism," said he. "It is what I always feel about the ancient world. It takes us but a very little way. It only writes things down."

Harcourt had gotten himself back together. "That's a fair critique," he said. "It's how I've always felt about the ancient world. It only takes us a short distance. It merely records things."

"What do you mean?" asked Evelyn.

"What do you mean?" asked Evelyn.

"I mean this—though it is presumptuous to speak in the presence of Mr. Inskip. This is what I mean. The classics are not everything. We owe them an enormous debt; I am the last to undervalue it; I, too, went through them at school. They are full of elegance and beauty. But they are not everything. They were written before men began to really feel." He coloured crimson. "Hence, the chilliness of classical art—its lack of—of a something. Whereas later things—Dante—a Madonna of Raphael—some bars of Mendelssohn——" His voice tailed reverently away. We sat with our eyes on the ground, not liking to look at Miss Beaumont. It is a fairly open secret that she also lacks a something. She has not yet developed her soul.

"I mean this—even though it might be bold to say it in front of Mr. Inskip. This is what I mean: the classics aren’t everything. We owe them a huge debt; I’m not downplaying that; I also studied them in school. They’re full of elegance and beauty. But they’re not everything. They were written before people genuinely started to feel." He blushed deeply. "That’s why classical art seems distant—it lacks a certain something. But later works—Dante, a Madonna by Raphael, some bars of Mendelssohn—" His voice trailed off with reverence. We sat with our eyes on the ground, hesitant to look at Miss Beaumont. It’s a pretty well-known secret that she also lacks that certain something. She hasn’t developed her soul yet.

The silence was broken by the still small voice of Mrs. Worters saying that she was faint with hunger.

The silence was interrupted by the soft voice of Mrs. Worters saying that she was feeling weak from hunger.

The young hostess sprang up. She would let none of us help her: it was her party. She undid the basket and emptied out the biscuits and oranges from their bags, and boiled the kettle and poured out the tea, which was horrible. But we laughed and talked with the frivolity that suits the open air, and even Mrs. Worters expectorated her flies with a smile. Over us all there stood the silent, chivalrous figure of Ford, drinking tea carefully lest it should disturb his outline. His guardian, who is a wag, chaffed him and tickled his ankles and calves.

The young hostess jumped up. She wouldn’t let any of us help her; it was her party. She opened the basket and pulled out the biscuits and oranges from their bags, boiled the kettle, and poured the tea, which was terrible. But we laughed and chatted with the lightheartedness that comes with being outdoors, and even Mrs. Worters got rid of her flies with a smile. Above us all stood the quiet, noble figure of Ford, sipping his tea carefully so it wouldn’t mess up his silhouette. His guardian, who is a jokester, teased him and playfully poked his ankles and calves.

"Well, this is nice!" said Miss Beaumont. "I am happy."

"Wow, this is great!" said Miss Beaumont. "I'm really happy."

"Your wood, Evelyn!" said the ladies.

"Your wood, Evelyn!" the ladies said.

"Her wood for ever!" cried Mr. Worters. "It is an unsatisfactory arrangement, a ninety-nine years' lease. There is no feeling of permanency. I reopened negotiations. I have bought her the wood for ever—all right, dear, all right: don't make a fuss."

"Her wood forever!" shouted Mr. Worters. "It's an unsatisfactory deal, a ninety-nine years' lease. There's no sense of permanence. I restarted negotiations. I bought her the wood forever—it's fine, dear, it's fine: don't make a fuss."

"But I must!" she cried. "For everything's perfect! Every one so kind—and I didn't know most of you a year ago. Oh, it is so wonderful—and now a wood—a wood of my own—a wood for ever. All of you coming to tea with me here! Dear Harcourt—dear people—and just where the house would come and spoil things, there is Mr. Ford!"

"But I have to!" she exclaimed. "Everything is perfect! Everyone is so kind—and I didn't even know most of you a year ago. Oh, it's so amazing—and now a forest—a forest of my own—a forest forever. All of you coming over for tea with me here! Dear Harcourt—dear friends—and right where the house would ruin things, there’s Mr. Ford!"

"Ha! ha!" laughed Mr. Worters, and slipped his hand up round the boy's ankle. What happened I do not know, but Ford collapsed on to the ground with a sharp cry. To an outsider it might have sounded like a cry of anger or pain. We, who knew better, laughed uproariously.

"Ha! ha!" laughed Mr. Worters, and slipped his hand up around the boy's ankle. What happened next, I don't know, but Ford fell to the ground with a sharp cry. To someone watching, it might have sounded like a cry of anger or pain. We, who knew better, laughed uncontrollably.

"Down he goes! Down he goes!" And they struggled playfully, kicking up the mould and the dry leaves.

"Down he goes! Down he goes!" And they playfully wrestled, kicking up the dirt and the dry leaves.

"Don't hurt my wood!" cried Miss Beaumont.

"Don't damage my wood!" shouted Miss Beaumont.

Ford gave another sharp cry. Mr. Worters withdrew his hand. "Victory!" he exclaimed. "Evelyn! behold the family seat!" But Miss Beaumont, in her butterfly fashion, had left us, and was strolling away into her wood.

Ford let out another sharp cry. Mr. Worters pulled back his hand. "Victory!" he shouted. "Evelyn! Look at the family seat!" But Miss Beaumont, in her whimsical style, had already walked off and was wandering into her woods.

We packed up the tea-things and then split into groups. Ford went with the ladies. Mr. Worters did me the honour to stop by me.

We packed up the tea things and then split into groups. Ford went with the ladies. Mr. Worters kindly chose to stay by me.

"Well!" he said, in accordance with his usual formula, "and how go the classics?"

"Well!" he said, sticking to his usual line, "so how are the classics doing?"

"Fairly well."

"Pretty well."

"Does Miss Beaumont show any ability?"

"Does Miss Beaumont have any skills?"

"I should say that she does. At all events she has enthusiasm."

"I should say that she does. In any case, she has enthusiasm."

"You do not think it is the enthusiasm of a child? I will be frank with you, Mr. Inskip. In many ways Miss Beaumont's practically a child. She has everything to learn: she acknowledges as much herself. Her new life is so different—so strange. Our habits—our thoughts—she has to be initiated into them all."

"You don't think it's just a child's excitement? I’ll be honest with you, Mr. Inskip. In many ways, Miss Beaumont is like a child. She has so much to learn; she admits that herself. Her new life is completely different—so unfamiliar. She has to be brought up to speed with all our habits and thoughts."

I saw what he was driving at, but I am not a fool, and I replied: "And how can she be initiated better than through the classics?"

I understood what he was getting at, but I'm no fool, so I replied, "And how can she be initiated better than through the classics?"

"Exactly, exactly," said Mr. Worters. In the distance we heard her voice. She was counting the beech-trees. "The only question is—this Latin and Greek—what will she do with it? Can she make anything of it? Can she—well, it's not as if she will ever have to teach it to others."

"Exactly, exactly," said Mr. Worters. In the distance, we heard her voice. She was counting the beech trees. "The only question is—what will she do with this Latin and Greek? Can she make anything of it? Can she—well, it’s not like she’ll ever have to teach it to anyone else."

"That is true." And my features might have been observed to become undecided.

"That's true." And my expression might have seemed a bit uncertain.

"Whether, since she knows so little—I grant you she has enthusiasm. But ought one not to divert her enthusiasm—say to English literature? She scarcely knows her Tennyson at all. Last night in the conservatory I read her that wonderful scene between Arthur and Guinevere. Greek and Latin are all very well, but I sometimes feel we ought to begin at the beginning."

"She doesn't know much—I'll give her that, she has enthusiasm. But shouldn't we direct her enthusiasm—let's say toward English literature? She hardly knows Tennyson at all. Last night in the conservatory, I read her that amazing scene between Arthur and Guinevere. Greek and Latin are nice, but sometimes I think we should start with the basics."

"You feel," said I, "that for Miss Beaumont the classics are something of a luxury."

"You think," I said, "that for Miss Beaumont, the classics are a bit of a luxury."

"A luxury. That is the exact word, Mr. Inskip. A luxury. A whim. It is all very well for Jack Ford. And here we come to another point. Surely she keeps Jack back? Her knowledge must be elementary."

"A luxury. That’s exactly the word, Mr. Inskip. A luxury. A whim. It’s fine for Jack Ford. And here’s another thing. Isn’t she holding Jack back? Her knowledge must be basic."

"Well, her knowledge is elementary: and I must say that it's difficult to teach them together. Jack has read a good deal, one way and another, whereas Miss Beaumont, though diligent and enthusiastic——"

"Well, her knowledge is basic: and I have to say it's challenging to teach them together. Jack has read quite a bit, in various ways, while Miss Beaumont, though hardworking and passionate——"

"So I have been feeling. The arrangement is scarcely fair on Jack?"

"So I've been feeling. The situation isn't really fair to Jack?"

"Well, I must admit——"

"Well, I have to admit——"

"Quite so. I ought never to have suggested it. It must come to an end. Of course, Mr. Inskip, it shall make no difference to you, this withdrawal of a pupil."

"You're right. I should never have brought it up. It has to stop. Of course, Mr. Inskip, this withdrawal of a student won't change anything for you."

"The lessons shall cease at once, Mr. Worters."

"The lessons will stop immediately, Mr. Worters."

Here she came up to us. "Harcourt, there are seventy-eight trees. I have had such a count."

Here she came up to us. "Harcourt, there are seventy-eight trees. I counted them."

He smiled down at her. Let me remember to say that he is tall and handsome, with a strong chin and liquid brown eyes, and a high forehead and hair not at all gray. Few things are more striking than a photograph of Mr. Harcourt Worters.

He smiled down at her. I should mention that he is tall and good-looking, with a strong chin and expressive brown eyes, a high forehead, and no gray hair at all. Few things are more striking than a photo of Mr. Harcourt Worters.

"Seventy-eight trees?"

"78 trees?"

"Seventy-eight."

"78."

"Are you pleased?"

"Are you happy?"

"Oh, Harcourt——!"

"Oh, Harcourt—!"

I began to pack up the tea-things. They both saw and heard me. It was their own fault if they did not go further.

I started to pack up the tea set. They both saw and heard me. It was their own fault for not going further.

"I'm looking forward to the bridge," said he. "A rustic bridge at the bottom, and then, perhaps, an asphalt path from the house over the meadow, so that in all weathers we can walk here dry-shod. The boys come into the wood—look at all these initials—and I thought of putting a simple fence, to prevent any one but ourselves——"

"I'm excited about the bridge," he said. "A charming bridge at the bottom, and maybe an asphalt path from the house across the meadow, so we can walk here without getting wet no matter the weather. The boys come into the woods—check out all these initials—and I was thinking of putting up a simple fence to keep out anyone except us——"

"Harcourt!"

"Harcourt!"

"A simple fence," he continued, "just like what I have put round my garden and the fields. Then at the other side of the copse, away from the house, I would put a gate, and have keys—two keys, I think—one for me and one for you—not more; and I would bring the asphalt path——"

"A simple fence," he said, "just like the one I've put around my garden and the fields. Then on the other side of the small woods, away from the house, I would put a gate, and have keys—two keys, I think—one for me and one for you—not more; and I would bring the asphalt path——"

"But Harcourt——-"

"But Harcourt—"

"But Evelyn!"

"But Evelyn!"

"I—I—I——"

"I—I—I—"

"You—you—you——?"

"You—you're—what—?"

"I—I don't want an asphalt path."

"I—I don't want a paved path."

"No? Perhaps you are right. Cinders perhaps. Yes. Or even gravel."

"No? Maybe you're right. Cinders, maybe. Yeah. Or even gravel."

"But Harcourt—I don't want a path at all. I—I—can't afford a path."

"But Harcourt—I don't want a path at all. I—I—can't afford a path."

He gave a roar of triumphant laughter. "Dearest! As if you were going to be bothered? The path's part of my present."

He let out a loud, triumphant laugh. "Darling! As if you’d be bothered? The path's part of my gift."

"The wood is your present," said Miss Beaumont. "Do you know—I don't care for the path. I'd rather always come as we came to-day. And I don't want a bridge. No—nor a fence either. I don't mind the boys and their initials. They and the girls have always come up to Other Kingdom and cut their names together in the bark. It's called the Fourth Time of Asking. I don't want it to stop."

"The woods are your gift," said Miss Beaumont. "You know—I’m not a fan of the path. I’d prefer to always come the way we did today. And I don’t want a bridge. No—nor a fence either. I don’t mind the boys and their initials. They and the girls have always come up to Other Kingdom and carved their names together into the bark. It’s called the Fourth Time of Asking. I don’t want it to end."

"Ugh!" He pointed to a large heart transfixed by an arrow. "Ugh! Ugh!" I suspect that he was gaining time.

"Ugh!" He pointed to a big heart pierced by an arrow. "Ugh! Ugh!" I think he was stalling.

"They cut their names and go away, and when the first child is born they come again and deepen the cuts. So for each child. That's how you know: the initials that go right through to the wood are the fathers and mothers of large families, and the scratches in the bark that soon close up are boys and girls who were never married at all."

"They carve their names and leave, and when the first child is born, they return to make the cuts deeper. This happens for each child. That's how you can tell: the initials that carve all the way to the wood belong to parents of large families, while the scratches in the bark that quickly heal represent boys and girls who never got married."

"You wonderful person! I've lived here all my life and never heard a word of this. Fancy folk-lore in Hertfordshire! I must tell the Archdeacon: he will be delighted——"

"You amazing person! I've lived here my whole life and never heard anything about this. Fancy folklore in Hertfordshire! I have to tell the Archdeacon: he will be thrilled——"

"And Harcourt, I don't want this to stop."

"And Harcourt, I don’t want this to end."

"My dear girl, the villagers will find other trees! There's nothing particular in Other Kingdom."

"My dear girl, the villagers will find other trees! There's nothing special in Other Kingdom."

"But——"

"But—"

"Other Kingdom shall be for us. You and I alone. Our initials only." His voice sank to a whisper.

"Other Kingdom will be ours. Just you and me. Only our initials." His voice dropped to a whisper.

"I don't want it fenced in." Her face was turned to me; I saw that it was puzzled and frightened. "I hate fences. And bridges. And all paths. It is my wood. Please: you gave me the wood."

"I don't want it fenced in." She was looking at me, and I could tell she felt confused and scared. "I hate fences. And bridges. And all paths. It's my woods. Please: you gave me the woods."

"Why, yes!" he replied, soothing her. But I could see that he was angry. "Of course. But aha! Evelyn, the meadow's mine; I have a right to fence there—between my domain and yours!"

"Sure!" he said, trying to calm her down. But I could tell he was angry. "Of course. But guess what! Evelyn, the meadow belongs to me; I have the right to put up a fence there—between my territory and yours!"

"Oh, fence me out if you like! Fence me out as much as you like! But never in. Oh Harcourt, never in. I must be on the outside, I must be where any one can reach me. Year by year—while the initials deepen—the only thing worth feeling—and at last they close up—but one has felt them."

"Oh, keep me out if you want! Keep me out as much as you want! But never let me in. Oh Harcourt, never let me in. I have to be on the outside, I have to be where anyone can reach me. Year by year—while the marks deepen—the only thing worth feeling—and eventually they close up—but at least I’ve felt them."

"Our initials!" he murmured, seizing upon the one word which he had understood and which was useful to him. "Let us carve our initials now. You and I—a heart if you like it, and an arrow and everything. H.W.—E.B."

"Our initials!" he whispered, grabbing onto the one word he understood that was useful to him. "Let’s carve our initials now. You and I—a heart if you want, and an arrow and everything. H.W.—E.B."

"H.W.," she repeated, "and E.B."

"H.W.," she repeated, "and E.B."

He took out his penknife and drew her away in search of an unsullied tree. "E.B., Eternal Blessing. Mine! Mine! My haven from the world! My temple of purity. Oh the spiritual exaltation—you cannot understand it, but you will! Oh, the seclusion of Paradise. Year after year alone together, all in all to each other—year after year, soul to soul, E.B., Everlasting Bliss!"

He pulled out his penknife and led her away in search of a pristine tree. "E.B., Eternal Blessing. Mine! Mine! My escape from the world! My sanctuary of purity. Oh, the spiritual high—you can't grasp it yet, but you will! Oh, the solitude of Paradise. Year after year, just the two of us, everything to each other—year after year, soul to soul, E.B., Everlasting Bliss!"

He stretched out his hand to cut the initials. As he did so she seemed to awake from a dream. "Harcourt!" she cried, "Harcourt! What's that? What's that red stuff on your finger and thumb?"

He reached out his hand to carve the initials. As he did this, she appeared to wake up from a dream. "Harcourt!" she exclaimed, "Harcourt! What's that? What's that red stuff on your finger and thumb?"

III

Oh, my goodness! Oh, all ye goddesses and gods! Here's a mess. Mr. Worters has been reading Ford's inflammatory note-book.

Oh, my gosh! Oh, all you goddesses and gods! This is a disaster. Mr. Worters has been reading Ford's inflammatory notebook.

"This my own fault," said Ford. "I should have labelled it 'Practically Private.' How could he know he was not meant to look inside?"

"This is my own fault," said Ford. "I should have labeled it 'Practically Private.' How was he supposed to know he wasn't meant to look inside?"

I spoke out severely, as an employé should. "My dear boy, none of that. The label came unstuck. That was why Mr. Worters opened the book. He never suspected it was private. See—the label's off."

I spoke firmly, as an employee should. "My dear boy, none of that. The label came off. That's why Mr. Worters opened the book. He never thought it was private. Look—the label's gone."

"Scratched off," Ford retorted grimly, and glanced at his ankle.

"Scratched off," Ford replied grimly, glancing at his ankle.

I affect not to understand. "The point is this. Mr. Worters is thinking the matter over for four-and-twenty hours. If you take my advice you will apologize before that time elapses."

I pretend not to get it. "Here's the thing. Mr. Worters is considering the situation for twenty-four hours. If you ask me, you should apologize before that time is up."

"And if I don't?"

"And what if I don't?"

"You know your own affairs of course. But don't forget that you are young and practically ignorant of life, and that you have scarcely any money of your own. As far as I can see, your career practically depends on the favour of Mr. Worters. You have laughed at him. He does not like being laughed at. It seems to me that your course is obvious."

"You know your own situation, of course. But don’t forget that you’re young and pretty much clueless about life, and that you hardly have any money of your own. From what I can see, your future mostly relies on Mr. Worters' support. You've laughed at him. He doesn’t appreciate being laughed at. It seems to me that the next steps are clear."

"Apology?"

"Sorry?"

"Complete."

"Done."

"And if I don't?"

"And what if I don't?"

"Departure."

"Leaving."

He sat down on the stone steps and rested his head on his knees. On the lawn below us was Miss Beaumont, draggling about with some croquet balls. Her lover was out in the meadow, superintending the course of the asphalt path. For the path is to be made, and so is the bridge, and the fence is to be built round Other Kingdom after all. In time Miss Beaumont saw how unreasonable were her objections. Of her own accord, one evening in the drawing-room, she gave her Harcourt permission to do what he liked. "That wood looks nearer," said Ford.

He sat down on the stone steps and rested his head on his knees. Below us on the lawn was Miss Beaumont, messing around with some croquet balls. Her partner was out in the meadow, overseeing the construction of the asphalt path. The path is going to be made, and so is the bridge, and the fence will finally be built around Other Kingdom. Eventually, Miss Beaumont realized how unreasonable her objections were. One evening in the living room, she willingly gave Harcourt permission to do what he wanted. "That wood looks closer," said Ford.

"The inside fences have gone: that brings it nearer. But my dear boy—you must settle what you're going to do."

"The inner fences are gone: that makes it feel closer. But my dear boy—you need to decide what you're going to do."

"How much has he read?"

"How much has he read?"

"Naturally he only opened the book. From what you showed me of it, one glance would be enough."

"Of course, he just opened the book. From what you showed me, a single glance would be enough."

"Did he open at the poems?"

"Did he start with the poems?"

"Poems?"

"Poems?"

"Did he speak of the poems?"

"Did he talk about the poems?"

"No. Were they about him?"

"No. Were they about him?"

"They were not about him."

"They weren't about him."

"Then it wouldn't matter if he saw them."

"Then it wouldn't matter if he saw them."

"It is sometimes a compliment to be mentioned," said Ford, looking up at me. The remark had a stinging fragrance about it—such a fragrance as clings to the mouth after admirable wine. It did not taste like the remark of a boy. I was sorry that my pupil was likely to wreck his career; and I told him again that he had better apologize.

"It can be a compliment to be brought up," Ford said, looking at me. The comment had a sharp edge to it—like the aftertaste of great wine. It didn’t feel like something a kid would say. I felt bad that my student was probably going to mess up his future; so I told him once more that he should apologize.

"I won't speak of Mr. Worters' claim for an apology. That's an aspect on which I prefer not to touch. The point is, if you don't apologize, you go—where?"

"I won't talk about Mr. Worters' request for an apology. That's something I prefer to avoid. The point is, if you don’t apologize, you end up—where?"

"To an aunt at Peckham."

"To an aunt in Peckham."

I pointed to the pleasant, comfortable land-scape, full of cows and carriage-horses out at grass, and civil retainers. In the midst of it stood Mr. Worters, radiating energy and wealth, like a terrestrial sun. "My dear Ford—don't be heroic! Apologize."

I pointed to the nice, cozy landscape, filled with cows and horses grazing in the fields, and friendly staff. In the middle of it stood Mr. Worters, radiating energy and wealth like a ground-level sun. "My dear Ford—don’t be dramatic! Just apologize."

Unfortunately I raised my voice a little, and Miss Beaumont heard me, down on the lawn.

Unfortunately, I raised my voice a bit, and Miss Beaumont heard me from the lawn.

"Apologize?" she cried. "What about?" And as she was not interested in the game, she came up the steps towards us, trailing her croquet mallet behind her. Her walk was rather listless. She was toning down at last.

"Apologize?" she yelled. "For what?" Since she wasn't into the game, she walked up the steps toward us, dragging her croquet mallet behind her. Her walk was a bit sluggish. She was finally calming down.

"Come indoors!" I whispered. "We must get out of this."

"Come inside!" I whispered. "We need to get out of this."

"Not a bit of it!" said Ford.

"Not at all!" Ford replied.

"What is it?" she asked, standing beside him on the step.

"What is it?" she asked, standing next to him on the step.

He swallowed something as he looked up at her. Suddenly I understood. I knew the nature and the subject of his poems. I was not so sure now that he had better apologize. The sooner he was kicked out of the place the better.

He swallowed hard as he looked up at her. Suddenly I got it. I understood the themes and topics of his poems. I wasn’t as sure anymore that he should apologize. The sooner he was shown the door, the better.

In spite of my remonstrances, he told her about the book, and her first remark was: "Oh, do let me see it!" She had no "proper feeling" of any kind. Then she said: "But why do you both look so sad?"

In spite of my objections, he told her about the book, and her first comment was: "Oh, let me see it!" She had no sense of decorum at all. Then she asked: "But why do you both look so sad?"

"We are awaiting Mr. Worters' decision," said I.

"We're waiting for Mr. Worters' decision," I said.

"Mr. Inskip! What nonsense! Do you suppose Harcourt'll be angry?"

"Mr. Inskip! That's ridiculous! Do you think Harcourt will be mad?"

"Of course he is angry, and rightly so."

"Of course he's angry, and he has every right to be."

"But why?"

"But why?"

"Ford has laughed at him."

"Ford has made fun of him."

"But what's that!" And for the first time there was anger in her voice. "Do you mean to say he'll punish some one who laughs at him? Why, for what else—for whatever reason are we all here? Not to laugh at each other! I laugh at people all day. At Mr. Ford. At you. And so does Harcourt. Oh, you've misjudged him! He won't—he couldn't be angry with people who laughed."

"But what’s that!" For the first time, there was anger in her voice. "Are you saying he’ll punish someone for laughing at him? What else are we here for? Not to laugh at each other? I laugh at people all day. At Mr. Ford. At you. And so does Harcourt. Oh, you’ve totally misunderstood him! He won’t—he couldn’t get angry at people who laughed."

"Mine is not nice laughter," said Ford. "He could not well forgive me."

"Mine isn't nice laughter," Ford said. "He couldn't really forgive me."

"You're a silly boy." She sneered at him. "You don't know Harcourt. So generous in every way. Why, he'd be as furious as I should be if you apologized. Mr. Inskip, isn't that so?"

"You're a silly boy." She mocked him. "You don't know Harcourt. He's generous in every way. Honestly, he'd be just as furious as I would be if you apologized. Mr. Inskip, isn't that right?"

"He has every right to an apology, I think."

"He definitely deserves an apology, in my opinion."

"Right? What's a right? You use too many new words. 'Rights'—'apologies'—'society'—'position'—I don't follow it. What are we all here for, anyhow?"

"Right? What's a right? You use too many new terms. 'Rights'—'apologies'—'society'—'position'—I don't get it. What are we all doing here, anyway?"

Her discourse was full of trembling lights and shadows—frivolous one moment, the next moment asking why Humanity is here. I did not take the Moral Science Tripos, so I could not tell her.

Her conversation was filled with flickering lights and shadows—playful one moment, then questioning the purpose of Humanity the next. I didn’t take the Moral Science Tripos, so I couldn't answer her.

"One thing I know—and that is that Harcourt isn't as stupid as you two. He soars above conventions. He doesn't care about 'rights' and 'apologies.' He knows that all laughter is nice, and that the other nice things are money and the soul and so on."

"One thing I know—and that is that Harcourt isn't as clueless as you two. He rises above conventions. He doesn’t care about ‘rights’ and ‘apologies.’ He understands that all laughter is good, and that other good things are money and the soul and so on."

The soul and so on! I wonder that Harcourt out in the meadows did not have an apoplectic fit.

The soul and all that! I can't believe Harcourt out in the fields didn't have a stroke.

"Why, what a poor business your life would be," she continued, "if you all kept taking offence and apologizing! Forty million people in England and all of them touchy! How one would laugh if it was true! Just imagine!" And she did laugh. "Look at Harcourt though. He knows better. He isn't petty like that. Mr. Ford! He isn't petty like that. Why, what's wrong with your eyes?"

"Wow, what a sad life you’d have," she went on, "if everyone just kept getting offended and apologizing! Forty million people in England, and they’re all so sensitive! It would be hilarious if that were true! Just picture it!" And she laughed at the thought. "But look at Harcourt. He gets it. He’s not so small-minded. Mr. Ford! He’s not small-minded like that. What’s wrong with your eyes?"

He rested his head on his knees again, and we could see his eyes no longer. In dispassionate tones she informed me that she thought he was crying. Then she tapped him on the hair with her mallet and said: "Cry-baby! Cry-cry-baby! Crying about nothing!" and ran laughing down the steps. "All right!" she shouted from the lawn. "Tell the cry-baby to stop. I'm going to speak to Harcourt!"

He rested his head on his knees again, and we couldn’t see his eyes anymore. In a flat voice, she told me that she thought he was crying. Then she tapped him on the head with her mallet and said, "Cry-baby! Cry-cry-baby! Crying about nothing!" and ran laughing down the steps. "All right!" she shouted from the lawn. "Tell the cry-baby to stop. I’m going to talk to Harcourt!"

We watched her go in silence. Ford had scarcely been crying. His eyes had only become large and angry. He used such swear-words as he knew, and then got up abruptly, and went into the house. I think he could not bear to see her disillusioned. I had no such tenderness, and it was with considerable interest that I watched Miss Beaumont approach her lord.

We watched her walk away in silence. Ford had hardly been crying. His eyes had just grown wide and furious. He used every curse word he knew, then suddenly got up and went inside the house. I think he couldn't stand seeing her disappointed. I didn't feel any sympathy like that, and I watched with a lot of interest as Miss Beaumont walked up to her lord.

She walked confidently across the meadow, bowing to the workmen as they raised their hats. Her languor had passed, and with it her suggestion of "tone." She was the same crude, unsophisticated person that Harcourt had picked out of Ireland—beautiful and ludicrous in the extreme, and—if you go in for pathos—extremely pathetic.

She walked confidently through the meadow, nodding to the workers as they tipped their hats. Her fatigue was gone, along with her hint of "style." She was the same rough, unrefined person that Harcourt had chosen from Ireland—beautiful and hilariously ridiculous, and—if you’re into drama—really heart-wrenching.

I saw them meet, and soon she was hanging on his arm. The motion of his hand explained to her the construction of bridges. Twice she interrupted him: he had to explain everything again. Then she got in her word, and what followed was a good deal better than a play. Their two little figures parted and met and parted again, she gesticulating, he most pompous and calm. She pleaded, she argued and—if satire can carry half a mile—she tried to be satirical. To enforce one of her childish points she made two steps back. Splash! She was floundering in the little stream.

I saw them meet, and soon she was hanging on his arm. The way he moved his hand explained to her how bridges were made. Twice she interrupted him, and he had to explain everything again. Then she chimed in, and what happened next was way better than a play. Their two little figures would part and meet and part again, with her gesturing and him looking all grand and calm. She pleaded, argued, and—if sarcasm can go half a mile—she tried to be sarcastic. To make one of her childish points, she took two steps back. Splash! She was struggling in the little stream.

That was the dénouement of the comedy. Harcourt rescued her, while the workmen crowded round in an agitated chorus. She was wet quite as far as her knees, and muddy over her ankles. In this state she was conduced towards me, and in time I began to hear words; "Influenza—a slight immersion—clothes are of no consequence beside health—pray, dearest, don't worry—yes, it must have been a shock—bed! bed! I insist on bed! Promise? Good girl. Up the steps to bed then."

That was the dénouement of the comedy. Harcourt saved her, while the workers gathered around in a worried chorus. She was soaked up to her knees and muddy around her ankles. In this condition, she was brought over to me, and after a moment I started to hear her words: "Influenza—a little dip—clothes don’t matter compared to health—please, my dear, don't stress—yes, it must have been a shock—bed! Bed! I insist on bed! Promise? Good girl. Up the steps to bed then."

They parted on the lawn, and she came obediently up the steps. Her face was full of terror and bewilderment.

They separated on the lawn, and she walked up the steps obediently. Her face was filled with fear and confusion.

"So you've had a wetting, Miss Beaumont!"

"So you've had an accident, Miss Beaumont!"

"Wetting? Oh, yes. But, Mr. Inskip—I don't understand: I've failed."

"Wetting? Oh, yes. But, Mr. Inskip—I don’t get it: I’ve messed up."

I expressed surprise.

I was surprised.

"Mr. Ford is to go—at once. I've failed."

"Mr. Ford needs to leave—immediately. I've messed up."

"I'm sorry."

"I apologize."

"I've failed with Harcourt. He's offended. He won't laugh. He won't let me do what I want. Latin and Greek began it: I wanted to know about gods and heroes and he wouldn't let me: then I wanted no fence round Other Kingdom and no bridge and no path—and look! Now I ask that Mr. Ford, who has done nothing, sha'n't be punished for it—and he is to go away for ever."

"I've messed up with Harcourt. He's upset. He won't laugh. He won't let me do what I want. It all started with Latin and Greek: I wanted to learn about gods and heroes and he wouldn't allow it. Then I wanted no barriers around the Other Kingdom and no bridge and no path—and look! Now I'm asking that Mr. Ford, who hasn't done anything, shouldn't be punished for it—and he's going to be sent away forever."

"Impertinence is not 'nothing,' Miss Beaumont." For I must keep in with Harcourt.

"Being disrespectful is not 'nothing,' Miss Beaumont." Because I have to stay on Harcourt's good side.

"Impertinence is nothing!" she cried. "It doesn't exist. It's a sham, like 'claims' and 'position' and 'rights.' It's part of the great dream."

"Impertinence is nothing!" she exclaimed. "It doesn’t exist. It’s a farce, like ‘claims’ and ‘positions’ and ‘rights.’ It’s all part of the big illusion."

"What 'great dream'?" I asked, trying not to smile.

"What 'great dream'?" I asked, fighting back a smile.

"Tell Mr. Ford—here comes Harcourt; I must go to bed. Give my love to Mr. Ford, and tell him 'to guess.' I shall never see him again, and I won't stand it. Tell him to guess. I am sorry I called him a cry-baby. He was not crying like a baby. He was crying like a grown-up person, and now I have grown up too."

"Tell Mr. Ford—Harcourt is here; I need to go to bed. Send my love to Mr. Ford and tell him 'to guess.' I won’t see him again, and I can't take it. Tell him to guess. I'm sorry I called him a cry-baby. He wasn’t crying like a baby. He was crying like an adult, and now I've grown up too."

I judged it right to repeat this conversation to my employer.

I thought it was a good idea to share this conversation with my boss.

IV

The bridge is built, the fence finished, and Other Kingdom lies tethered by a ribbon of asphalt to our front door. The seventy-eight trees therein certainly seem nearer, and during the windy nights that followed Ford's departure we could hear their branches sighing, and would find in the morning that beech-leaves had been blown right up against the house. Miss Beaumont made no attempt to go out, much to the relief of the ladies, for Harcourt had given the word that she was not to go out unattended, and the boisterous weather deranged their petticoats. She remained indoors, neither reading nor laughing, and dressing no longer in green, but in brown.

The bridge is built, the fence is done, and Other Kingdom is now connected to our front door by a strip of asphalt. The seventy-eight trees there definitely seem closer, and during the windy nights after Ford left, we could hear their branches sighing. In the morning, we’d find beech leaves blown right up against the house. Miss Beaumont didn’t try to go outside, much to the relief of the ladies, since Harcourt had instructed that she shouldn’t go out alone, and the wild weather messed up their skirts. She stayed indoors, neither reading nor laughing, and she stopped wearing green, opting for brown instead.

Not noticing her presence, Mr. Worters looked in one day and said with a sigh of relief: "That's all right. The circle's completed."

Not noticing her there, Mr. Worters came in one day and said with a sigh of relief: "That's all good. The circle's complete."

"Is it indeed!" she replied.

"Is it really!" she replied.

"You there, you quiet little mouse? I only meant that our lords, the British workmen, have at last condescended to complete their labours, and have rounded us off from the world. I—in the end I was a naughty, domineering tyrant, and disobeyed you. I didn't have the gate out at the further side of the copse. Will you forgive me?"

"You over there, you quiet little mouse? I just meant that our lords, the British workers, have finally decided to finish their work and have cut us off from the rest of the world. I—ultimately I was a naughty, controlling tyrant and went against your wishes. I didn’t put the gate out on the other side of the woods. Will you forgive me?"

"Anything, Harcourt, that pleases you, is certain to please me."

"Anything that makes you happy, Harcourt, is sure to make me happy too."

The ladies smiled at each other, and Mr. Worters said: "That's right, and as soon as the wind goes down we'll all progress together to your wood; and take possession of it formally, for it didn't really count that last time."

The women shared smiles, and Mr. Worters said, "Exactly, and as soon as the wind calms down, we'll all head to your woods together and officially take possession of it, since it didn't really count last time."

"No, it didn't really count that last time," Miss Beaumont echoed.

"No, that last time didn't really count," Miss Beaumont said.

"Evelyn says this wind never will go down," remarked Mrs. Worters. "I don't know how she knows."

"Evelyn says this wind will never die down," Mrs. Worters commented. "I have no idea how she knows."

"It will never go down, as long as I am in the house."

"It will never go down, as long as I'm here."

"Really?" he said gaily. "Then come out now, and send it down with me."

"Really?" he said cheerfully. "Then come out now and send it down with me."

They took a few turns up and down the terrace. The wind lulled for a moment, but blew fiercer than ever during lunch. As we ate, it roared and whistled down the chimney at us, and the trees of Other Kingdom frothed like the sea. Leaves and twigs flew from them, and a bough, a good-sized bough, was blown on to the smooth asphalt path, and actually switchbacked over the bridge, up the meadow, and across our very lawn. (I venture to say "our," as I am now staying on as Harcourt's secretary.) Only the stone steps prevented it from reaching the terrace and perhaps breaking the dining-room window. Miss Beaumont sprang up and, napkin in hand, ran out and touched it.

They walked a few laps up and down the terrace. The wind calmed for a moment but blew stronger than ever during lunch. As we ate, it roared and whistled down the chimney at us, and the trees from Other Kingdom swayed like the sea. Leaves and twigs were scattered from them, and a decent-sized branch was blown onto the smooth asphalt path, actually bouncing over the bridge, up the meadow, and across our lawn. (I dare say "our," since I'm currently staying on as Harcourt's secretary.) Only the stone steps stopped it from getting to the terrace and possibly breaking the dining-room window. Miss Beaumont jumped up and, napkin in hand, ran out to touch it.

"Oh, Evelyn——" the ladies cried.

"Oh, Evelyn—" the ladies exclaimed.

"Let her go," said Mr. Worters tolerantly. "It certainly is a remarkable incident, remarkable. We must remember to tell the Archdeacon about it."

"Let her go," Mr. Worters said, rolling his eyes. "This is definitely an unusual situation, really unusual. We should make sure to mention it to the Archdeacon."

"Harcourt," she cried, with the first hint of returning colour in her cheeks, "mightn't we go up to the copse after lunch, you and I?"

"Harcourt," she exclaimed, a bit of color returning to her cheeks, "what if we went up to the woods after lunch, just the two of us?"

Mr. Worters considered.

Mr. Worters thought.

"Of course, not if you don't think best."

"Of course, not if you don't think it's best."

"Inskip, what's your opinion?"

"Inskip, what do you think?"

I saw what his own was, and cried, "Oh, let's go!" though I detest the wind as much as any one.

I saw what he had and shouted, "Oh, let's go!" even though I hate the wind just like everyone else.

"Very well. Mother, Anna, Ruth, Mrs. Osgood—we'll all go."

"Alright. Mom, Anna, Ruth, Mrs. Osgood—we're all going."

And go we did, a lugubrious procession; but the gods were good to us for once, for as soon as we were started, the tempest dropped, and there ensued an extraordinary calm. After all, Miss Beaumont was something of a weather prophet. Her spirits improved every minute. She tripped in front of us along the asphalt path, and ever and anon turned round to say to her lover some gracious or alluring thing. I admired her for it. I admire people who know on which side their bread's buttered.

And off we went, a gloomy procession; but for once the gods were in our favor, because as soon as we got going, the storm cleared up, and an incredible calm settled in. After all, Miss Beaumont had a knack for predicting the weather. Her mood brightened with every passing moment. She skipped ahead of us along the paved path, occasionally turning around to say something kind or enticing to her boyfriend. I admired her for that. I admire people who understand where their benefits come from.

"Evelyn, come here!"

"Evelyn, get over here!"

"Come here yourself."

"Come here in person."

"Give me a kiss."

"Kiss me."

"Come and take it then."

"Come and take it."

He ran after her, and she ran away, while all our party laughed melodiously.

He chased after her, and she ran away, while everyone in our group laughed cheerfully.

"Oh, I am so happy!" she cried. "I think I've everything I want in all the world. Oh dear, those last few days indoors! But oh, I am so happy now!" She had changed her brown dress for the old flowing green one, and she began to do her skirt dance in the open meadow, lit by sudden gleams of the sunshine. It was really a beautiful sight, and Mr. Worters did not correct her, glad perhaps that she should recover her spirits, even if she lost her tone. Her feet scarcely moved, but her body so swayed and her dress spread so gloriously around her, that we were transported with joy. She danced to the song of a bird that sang passionately in Other Kingdom, and the river held back its waves to watch her (one might have supposed), and the winds lay spell-bound in their cavern, and the great clouds spell-bound in the sky. She danced away from our society and our life, back, back through the centuries till houses and fences fell and the earth lay wild to the sun. Her garment was as foliage upon her, the strength of her limbs as boughs, her throat the smooth upper branch that salutes the morning or glistens to the rain. Leaves move, leaves hide it as hers was hidden by the motion of her hair. Leaves move again and it is ours, as her throat was ours again when, parting the tangle, she faced us crying, "Oh!" crying, "Oh Harcourt! I never was so happy. I have all that there is in the world."

"Oh, I'm so happy!" she exclaimed. "I think I have everything I want in the whole world. Oh, those last few days inside! But oh, I’m so happy now!" She had swapped her brown dress for an old, flowing green one, and she started doing her skirt dance in the open meadow, illuminated by flashes of sunlight. It was truly a beautiful sight, and Mr. Worters didn't correct her, perhaps glad to see her spirits lift, even if her tone dropped. Her feet hardly moved, but her body swayed so gracefully and her dress spread out beautifully around her that we were filled with joy. She danced to the song of a bird passionately singing in Other Kingdom, and it felt like the river held back its waves to watch her (one might have thought), while the winds lay captive in their caves, and the great clouds seemed mesmerized in the sky. She danced away from our company and our lives, back through the centuries until houses and fences disappeared, and the earth lay wild under the sun. Her dress looked like leaves on her, her strong limbs like branches, her throat the smooth upper branch that greets the morning or sparkles in the rain. Leaves moved, leaves concealed it just like her movements concealed her throat, hidden in the flow of her hair. The leaves shifted again, and it was ours, just like her throat was ours again when, breaking through the tangle, she faced us crying, "Oh!" and exclaimed, "Oh Harcourt! I’ve never been so happy. I have everything there is in the world."

But he, entrammelled in love's ecstasy, forgetting certain Madonnas of Raphael, forgetting, I fancy, his soul, sprang to inarm her with, "Evelyn! Eternal Bliss! Mine to eternity! Mine!" and she sprang away. Music was added and she sang, "Oh Ford! oh Ford, among all these Worters, I am coming through you to my Kingdom. Oh Ford, my lover while I was a woman, I will never forget you, never, as long as I have branches to shade you from the sun," and, singing, crossed the stream.

But he, caught up in the bliss of love, forgetting some of Raphael's Madonnas, and maybe even his own soul, rushed to embrace her, shouting, "Evelyn! Eternal Bliss! Mine forever! Mine!" but she pulled away. Music played, and she sang, "Oh Ford! oh Ford, among all these streams, I am coming through you to my Kingdom. Oh Ford, my lover when I was a woman, I will never forget you, never, as long as I have branches to shade you from the sun," and, singing, crossed the stream.

Why he followed her so passionately, I do not know. It was play, she was in his own domain which a fence surrounds, and she could not possibly escape him. But he dashed round by the bridge as if all their love was at stake, and pursued her with fierceness up the hill. She ran well, but the end was a foregone conclusion, and we only speculated whether he would catch her outside or inside the copse. He gained on her inch by inch; now they were in the shadow of the trees; he had practically grasped her, he had missed; she had disappeared into the trees themselves, he following.

Why he chased her so desperately, I don't know. It was just a game; she was in his territory, fenced in, and there was no way she could escape him. But he raced around the bridge as if their entire love depended on it, pursuing her fiercely up the hill. She was fast, but the outcome was certain, and we only wondered if he would catch her outside or inside the woods. He closed the distance little by little; now they were in the shade of the trees; he was almost holding her, but he missed; she vanished into the trees, with him right behind.

"Harcourt is in high spirits," said Mrs. Osgood, Anna, and Ruth.

"Harcourt is feeling great," said Mrs. Osgood, Anna, and Ruth.

"Evelyn!" we heard him shouting within.

"Evelyn!" we heard him yelling from inside.

We proceeded up the asphalt path.

We walked up the paved path.

"Evelyn! Evelyn!"

"Evelyn! Evelyn!"

"He's not caught her yet, evidently."

"Clearly, he hasn't caught her yet."

"Where are you, Evelyn?"

"Where are you, Evelyn?"

"Miss Beaumont must have hidden herself rather cleverly."

"Miss Beaumont must have hidden herself pretty well."

"Look here," cried Harcourt, emerging, "have you seen Evelyn?"

"Hey," shouted Harcourt as he came out, "have you seen Evelyn?"

"Oh, no, she's certainly inside."

"Oh no, she's definitely inside."

"So I thought."

"That’s what I thought."

"Evelyn must be dodging round one of the trunks. You go this way, I that. We'll soon find her."

"Evelyn must be hiding behind one of the trees. You go this way, and I'll go that way. We'll find her soon enough."

We searched, gaily at first, and always with a feeling that Miss Beaumont was close by, that the delicate limbs were just behind this bole, the hair and the drapery quivering among those leaves. She was beside us, above us; here was her footstep on the purple-brown earth—her bosom, her neck—she was everywhere and nowhere. Gaiety turned to irritation, irritation to anger and fear. Miss Beaumont was apparently lost. "Evelyn! Evelyn!" we continued to cry. "Oh, really, it is beyond a joke."

We started searching playfully at first, always feeling like Miss Beaumont was nearby, that her delicate figure was just behind this tree trunk, her hair and dress fluttering among those leaves. She was with us, above us; we could sense her presence on the purple-brown ground—her figure, her neck—she was everywhere and nowhere. Our playfulness shifted to annoyance, annoyance turned to anger and fear. Miss Beaumont seemed to be truly lost. "Evelyn! Evelyn!" we kept calling out. "Oh, seriously, this isn't funny anymore."

Then the wind arose, the more violent for its lull, and we were driven into the house by a terrific storm. We said, "At all events she will come back now." But she did not come, and the rain hissed and rose up from the dry meadows like incense smoke, and smote the quivering leaves to applause. Then it lightened. Ladies screamed, and we saw Other Kingdom as one who claps the hands, and heard it as one who roars with laughter in the thunder. Not even the Archdeacon can remember such a storm. All Harcourt's seedlings were ruined, and the tiles flew off his gables right and left. He came to me presently with a white, drawn face, saying: "Inskip, can I trust you?"

Then the wind picked up, even stronger after the calm, and we were forced inside by a terrible storm. We said, "At least she'll come back now." But she didn't, and the rain hissed and rose from the dry fields like incense smoke, hitting the trembling leaves in applause. Then it lightninged. Ladies screamed, and we saw Other Kingdom like someone clapping their hands, and heard it like someone laughing loudly in the thunder. Not even the Archdeacon can remember such a storm. All of Harcourt's seedlings were destroyed, and the tiles flew off his gables on both sides. He came to me later with a pale, drawn face, saying: "Inskip, can I trust you?"

"You can, indeed."

"Yes, you can."

"I have long suspected it; she has eloped with Ford."

"I've had my suspicions for a while; she ran off with Ford."

"But how——" I gasped.

"But how—" I gasped.

"The carriage is ready—we'll talk as we drive." Then, against the rain he shouted: "No gate in the fence, I know, but what about a ladder? While I blunder, she's over the fence, and he——"

"The carriage is ready—we'll chat while we drive." Then, shouting over the rain, he said: "I know there's no gate in the fence, but what about a ladder? While I’m fumbling around, she's over the fence, and he——"

"But you were so close. There was not the time."

"But you were so close. There wasn't enough time."

"There is time for anything," he said venomously, "where a treacherous woman is concerned. I found her no better than a savage, I trained her, I educated her. But I'll break them both. I can do that; I'll break them soul and body."

"There’s time for anything," he said bitterly, "when it comes to a deceitful woman. I found her to be no better than a wild animal; I trained her, I educated her. But I will break them both. I can do that; I’ll break them, mind and body."

No one can break Ford now. The task is impossible. But I trembled for Miss Beaumont.

No one can bring down Ford now. It’s an impossible task. But I worried for Miss Beaumont.

We missed the train. Young couples had gone by it, several young couples, and we heard of more young couples in London, as if all the world were mocking Harcourt's solitude. In desperation we sought the squalid suburb that is now Ford's home. We swept past the dirty maid and the terrified aunt, swept upstairs, to catch him if we could red-handed. He was seated at the table, reading the Oedipus Coloneus of Sophocles.

We missed the train. Young couples had passed by, several of them, and we heard about more young couples in London, as if everyone was mocking Harcourt's loneliness. In desperation, we headed to the run-down suburb that is now Ford's home. We rushed past the dirty maid and the scared aunt, went upstairs, hoping to catch him in the act. He was sitting at the table, reading the Oedipus Coloneus by Sophocles.

"That won't take in me!" shouted Harcourt. "You've got Miss Beaumont with you, and I know it."

"That's not going to work on me!" shouted Harcourt. "You have Miss Beaumont with you, and I know it."

"No such luck," said Ford.

"Not a chance," said Ford.

He stammered with rage. "Inskip—you hear that? 'No such luck'! Quote the evidence against him. I can't speak."

He stammered in anger. "Inskip—you hear that? 'No such luck'! Cite the evidence against him. I can't talk."

So I quoted her song. "'Oh Ford! Oh Ford, among all these Worters, I am coming through you to my Kingdom! Oh Ford, my lover while I was a woman, I will never forget you, never, as long as I have branches to shade you from the sun.' Soon after that, we lost her."

So I quoted her song. "'Oh Ford! Oh Ford, among all these Worters, I am coming through you to my Kingdom! Oh Ford, my lover while I was a woman, I will never forget you, never, as long as I have branches to shade you from the sun.' Soon after that, we lost her."

"And—and on another occasion she sent a message of similar effect. Inskip, bear witness. He was to 'guess' something."

"And—on another occasion she sent a message with a similar meaning. Inskip, you can confirm this. He was supposed to 'guess' something."

"I have guessed it," said Ford.

"I figured it out," said Ford.

"So you practically——"

"So you basically——"

"Oh, no, Mr. Worters, you mistake me. I have not practically guessed. I have guessed. I could tell you if I chose, but it would be no good, for she has not practically escaped you. She has escaped you absolutely, for ever and ever, as long as there are branches to shade men from the sun."

"Oh, no, Mr. Worters, you’ve misunderstood me. I haven't just kind of guessed; I’ve made a guess. I could tell you if I wanted to, but it wouldn't matter because she hasn’t just kind of escaped you. She has completely escaped you, for good, as long as there are branches to keep men out of the sunlight."


THE CURATE'S FRIEND

It is uncertain how the Faun came to be in Wiltshire. Perhaps he came over with the Roman legionaries to live with his friends in camp, talking to them of Lucretius, or Garganus or of the slopes of Etna; they in the joy of their recall forgot to take him on board, and he wept in exile; but at last he found that our hills also understood his sorrows, and rejoiced when he was happy. Or, perhaps he came to be there because he had been there always. There is nothing particularly classical about a faun: it is only that the Greeks and Italians have ever had the sharpest eyes. You will find him in the "Tempest" and the "Benedicite;" and any country which has beech clumps and sloping grass and very clear streams may reasonably produce him.

It's unclear how the Faun ended up in Wiltshire. Maybe he came with the Roman soldiers to hang out with his friends in camp, chatting about Lucretius, or Garganus, or the slopes of Etna; they got so caught up in their excitement that they forgot to take him along, and he cried in loneliness. But eventually, he realized that our hills understood his sadness, and they celebrated when he was happy. Or maybe he was always meant to be there. There's nothing especially classical about a faun; it's just that the Greeks and Italians have always had the keenest eyes. You’ll find him in the "Tempest" and the "Benedicite;" any place with beech groves, rolling grass, and crystal-clear streams can reasonably give him a home.

How I came to see him is a more difficult question. For to see him there is required a certain quality, for which truthfulness is too cold a name and animal spirits too coarse a one, and he alone knows how this quality came to be in me. No man has the right to call himself a fool, but I may say that I then presented the perfect semblance of one. I was facetious without humour and serious without conviction. Every Sunday I would speak to my rural parishioners about the other world in the tone of one who has been behind the scenes, or I would explain to them the errors of the Pelagians, or I would warn them against hurrying from one dissipation to another. Every Tuesday I gave what I called "straight talks to my lads"—talks which led straight past anything awkward. And every Thursday I addressed the Mothers' Union on the duties of wives or widows, and gave them practical hints on the management of a family of ten.

How I came to see him is a more challenging question. To see him there requires a certain quality that "truthfulness" is too cold to describe and "animal spirits" is too crude to capture, and only he knows how this quality developed in me. No man has the right to call himself a fool, but I can say that I certainly acted like one. I was joking without any humor and serious without any real conviction. Every Sunday, I would speak to my rural parishioners about the afterlife as if I had insider knowledge, or I would explain the mistakes of the Pelagians, or I would caution them against rushing from one distraction to another. Every Tuesday, I gave what I called "straight talks to my boys"—conversations that sidestepped anything uncomfortable. And every Thursday, I spoke to the Mothers' Union about the responsibilities of wives or widows, offering practical tips on managing a family of ten.

I took myself in, and for a time I certainly took in Emily. I have never known a girl attend so carefully to my sermons, or laugh so heartily at my jokes. It is no wonder that I became engaged. She has made an excellent wife, freely correcting her husband's absurdities, but allowing no one else to breathe a word against them; able to talk about the sub-conscious self in the drawing-room, and yet have an ear for the children crying in the nursery, or the plates breaking in the scullery. An excellent wife—better than I ever imagined. But she has not married me.

I took some time to reflect, and for a while, I really focused on Emily. I've never met a girl who listened so intently to my speeches or laughed so genuinely at my jokes. It's no surprise that I got engaged. She has been an amazing wife, quick to point out her husband's silly mistakes while making sure no one else criticizes them; she can discuss deep psychology in the living room and still hear the kids crying in the nursery or the dishes breaking in the kitchen. An incredible wife—better than I ever expected. But she hasn't married me.

Had we stopped indoors that afternoon nothing would have happened. It was all owing to Emily's mother, who insisted on our tea-ing out. Opposite the village, across the stream, was a small chalk down, crowned by a beech copse, and a few Roman earth-works. (I lectured very vividly on those earthworks: they have since proved to be Saxon.) Hither did I drag up a tea-basket and a heavy rug for Emily's mother, while Emily and a little friend went on in front. The little friend—who has played all through a much less important part than he supposes—was a pleasant youth, full of intelligence and poetry, especially of what he called the poetry of earth. He longed to wrest earth's secret from her, and I have seen him press his face passionately into the grass, even when he has believed himself to be alone. Emily was at that time full of vague aspirations, and, though I should have preferred them all to centre in me, yet it seemed unreasonable to deny her such other opportunities for self-culture as the neighbourhood provided.

If we had stayed inside that afternoon, nothing would have happened. It was all because of Emily's mom, who insisted that we have tea outside. Across the stream from the village was a small chalk hill, topped with a beech grove and some Roman earthworks. (I gave an enthusiastic lecture about those earthworks; they've since been identified as Saxon.) I carried a tea basket and a heavy rug for Emily's mom, while Emily and a little friend went ahead. The little friend—who has played a much less significant role than he thinks—was a nice kid, full of bright ideas and poetry, especially what he called the poetry of the earth. He really wanted to uncover the secrets of the earth, and I’ve seen him press his face passionately into the grass, even when he believed he was alone. At that time, Emily was full of vague ambitions, and although I would have preferred them all to focus on me, it seemed unreasonable to deny her the opportunities for personal growth that the area offered.

It was then my habit, on reaching the top of any eminence, to exclaim facetiously "And who will stand on either hand and keep the bridge with me?" at the same moment violently agitating my arms or casting my wide-awake eyes at an imaginary foe. Emily and the friend received my sally as usual, nor could I detect any insincerity in their mirth. Yet I was convinced that some one was present who did not think I had been funny, and any public speaker will understand my growing uneasiness.

It was my habit, whenever I reached the top of any hill, to jokingly shout, "And who will stand on either side and guard the bridge with me?" while waving my arms around or glaring at an imaginary opponent. Emily and our friend laughed like they always did, and I couldn’t sense any insincerity in their amusement. Still, I felt sure that someone was there who didn’t find me funny, and any public speaker will know how that made me increasingly uneasy.

I was somewhat cheered by Emily's mother, who puffed up exclaiming, "Kind Harry, to carry the things! What should we do without you, even now! Oh, what a view! Can you see the dear Cathedral? No. Too hazy. Now I'm going to sit right on the rug." She smiled mysteriously. "The downs in September, you know."

I felt a bit uplifted by Emily's mom, who exclaimed, "Kind Harry, you're taking care of everything! What would we do without you right now! Oh, what a view! Can you see the beautiful Cathedral? No, it's too hazy. Now I'm going to sit right on the rug." She gave a mysterious smile. "The hills in September, you know."

We gave some perfunctory admiration to the landscape, which is indeed only beautiful to those who admire land, and to them perhaps the most beautiful in England. For here is the body of the great chalk spider who straddles over our island—whose legs are the south downs and the north downs and the Chilterns, and the tips of whose toes poke out at Cromer and Dover. He is a clean creature, who grows as few trees as he can, and those few in tidy clumps, and he loves to be tickled by quickly flowing streams. He is pimpled all over with earth-works, for from the beginning of time men have fought for the privilege of standing on him, and the oldest of our temples is built upon his back.

We offered some casual praise for the landscape, which is really only beautiful to those who appreciate land, and for them, it might be the most stunning in England. For here lies the great chalk figure that extends across our island—whose legs are the South Downs, the North Downs, and the Chilterns, and whose toes peek out at Cromer and Dover. He’s a neat figure, who keeps trees to a minimum, planting the few he does in tidy clusters, and he enjoys being gently stirred by swiftly flowing streams. He’s dotted all over with ancient earthworks, as people have been fighting for the right to stand on his land since the dawn of time, and the oldest of our temples is built on his back.

But in those days I liked my country snug and pretty, full of gentlemen's residences and shady bowers and people who touch their hats. The great sombre expanses on which one may walk for miles and hardly shift a landmark or meet a genteel person were still intolerable to me. I turned away as soon as propriety allowed and said "And may I now prepare the cup that cheers?"

But back then, I liked my country cozy and charming, filled with elegant homes, shady spots, and people who tipped their hats. The vast, gloomy stretches where you could walk for miles without seeing a landmark or encountering a refined person were still unbearable to me. I looked away as soon as it was polite to do so and said, "Can I now prepare the cup that cheers?"

Emily's mother replied: "Kind man, to help me. I always do say that tea out is worth the extra effort. I wish we led simpler lives." We agreed with her. I spread out the food. "Won't the kettle stand? Oh, but make it stand." I did so. There was a little cry, faint but distinct, as of something in pain.

Emily's mom responded, "What a nice guy to help me. I always say that going out for tea is worth the extra effort. I wish our lives were simpler." We all nodded in agreement. I laid out the food. "Isn't the kettle going to stay? Oh, but let it stay." I did that. There was a small cry, soft but clear, like something in pain.

"How silent it all is up here!" said Emily.

"How quiet it is up here!" said Emily.

I dropped a lighted match on the grass, and again I heard the little cry.

I dropped a lit match on the grass, and once again I heard the faint cry.

"What is that?" I asked.

"What’s that?" I asked.

"I only said it was so silent," said Emily.

"I just said it was really quiet," said Emily.

"Silent, indeed," echoed the little friend.

"Silent, for sure," replied the little friend.

Silent! the place was full of noises. If the match had fallen in a drawing-room it could not have been worse, and the loudest noise came from beside Emily herself. I had exactly the sensation of going to a great party, of waiting to be announced in the echoing hall, where I could hear the voices of the guests, but could not yet see their faces. It is a nervous moment for a self-conscious man, especially if all the voices should be strange to him, and he has never met his host.

Silent! The place was full of noise. If the match had fallen in a living room, it couldn’t have been worse, and the loudest noise came from right next to Emily. I felt just like I was about to enter a big party, waiting to be announced in a bustling hall, where I could hear the voices of the guests but couldn't see their faces yet. It’s a nerve-wracking moment for someone who feels self-conscious, especially if all the voices are unfamiliar and he hasn’t met his host.

"My dear Harry!" said the elder lady, "never mind about that match. That'll smoulder away and harm no one. Tea-ee-ee! I always say—and you will find Emily the same—that as the magic hour of five approaches, no matter how good a lunch, one begins to feel a sort of——"

"My dear Harry!" said the older woman, "don’t worry about that match. It will fade away and hurt no one. Tea! I always say—and you’ll find Emily agrees—that as the magical hour of five gets closer, no matter how great a lunch was, you start to feel a sort of——"

Now the Faun is of the kind who capers upon the Neo-Attic reliefs, and if you do not notice his ears or see his tail, you take him for a man and are horrified.

Now the Faun is like those figures you see in Neo-Attic reliefs, and if you don't notice his ears or see his tail, you'd mistake him for a man and be shocked.

"Bathing!" I cried wildly. "Such a thing for our village lads, but I quite agree—more supervision—I blame myself. Go away, bad boy, go away!"

"Bathing!" I shouted frantically. "What a thing for our village boys, but I totally agree—more supervision—I blame myself. Go away, you troublemaker, go away!"

"What will he think of next!" said Emily, while the creature beside her stood up and beckoned to me. I advanced struggling and gesticulating with tiny steps and horrified cries, exorcising the apparition with my hat. Not otherwise had I advanced the day before, when Emily's nieces showed me their guinea pigs. And by no less hearty laughter was I greeted now. Until the strange fingers closed upon me, I still thought that here was one of my parishioners and did not cease to exclaim, "Let me go, naughty boy, let go!" And Emily's mother, believing herself to have detected the joke, replied, "Well I must confess they are naughty boys and reach one even on the rug: the downs in September, as I said before."

"What will he come up with next!" said Emily, as the creature next to her stood up and waved me over. I moved forward, struggling and flailing my arms with tiny steps and terrified shouts, trying to scare away the figure with my hat. It was no different than how I had moved the day before when Emily's nieces showed me their guinea pigs. I was met with just as much laughter now. Until those strange fingers grabbed me, I still thought I was dealing with one of my parishioners and didn't stop shouting, "Let me go, you naughty boy, let go!" And Emily's mother, thinking she understood the joke, replied, "Well, I must admit they are naughty boys and they even reach one on the rug: the downs in September, as I mentioned before."

Here I caught sight of the tail, uttered a wild shriek and fled into the beech copse behind.

Here I saw the tail, let out a wild scream, and ran into the beech forest behind.

"Harry would have been a born actor," said Emily's mother as I left them.

"Harry would have been a natural actor," said Emily's mom as I walked away from them.

I realized that a great crisis in my life was approaching, and that if I failed in it I might permanently lose my self-esteem. Already in the wood I was troubled by a multitude of voices—the voices of the hill beneath me, of the trees over my head, of the very insects in the bark of the tree. I could even hear the stream licking little pieces out of the meadows, and the meadows dreamily protesting. Above the din—which is no louder than the flight of a bee—rose the Faun's voice saying, "Dear priest, be placid, be placid: why are you frightened?"

I realized that a major crisis in my life was approaching, and if I failed it, I might lose my self-esteem for good. Already in the woods, I was troubled by a multitude of voices—the voices of the hill beneath me, the trees above me, and even the insects in the bark of the tree. I could hear the stream gently picking away at the meadows, with the meadows dreamily protesting. Above the noise—which was as quiet as a bee flying by—rose the Faun's voice saying, "Dear priest, stay calm, stay calm: why are you scared?"

"I am not frightened," said I—and indeed I was not. "But I am grieved: you have disgraced me in the presence of ladies."

"I’m not scared," I said—and I really wasn’t. "But I am upset: you’ve humiliated me in front of the ladies."

"No one else has seen me," he said, smiling idly. "The women have tight boots and the man has long hair. Those kinds never see. For years I have only spoken to children, and they lose sight of me as soon as they grow up. But you will not be able to lose sight of me, and until you die you will be my friend. Now I begin to make you happy: lie upon your back or run races, or climb trees, or shall I get you blackberries, or harebells, or wives——"

"No one else has seen me," he said, grinning casually. "The women wear tight boots and the guy has long hair. People like that never notice. For years, I’ve only talked to kids, and they forget about me as soon as they grow up. But you won’t lose track of me, and until you die, you’ll be my friend. Now I’ll start making you happy: you can lie on your back or run races or climb trees, or should I bring you blackberries, or harebells, or even wives——"

In a terrible voice I said to him, "Get thee behind me!" He got behind me. "Once for all," I continued, "let me tell you that it is vain to tempt one whose happiness consists in giving happiness to others."

In a harsh voice, I said to him, "Get behind me!" He moved to stand behind me. "Once and for all," I added, "let me make it clear that it's pointless to try to tempt someone whose joy comes from making others happy."

"I cannot understand you," he said ruefully. "What is to tempt?"

"I just don’t get you," he said sadly. "What does it mean to tempt?"

"Poor woodland creature!" said I, turning round. "How could you understand? It was idle of me to chide you. It is not in your little nature to comprehend a life of self-denial. Ah! if only I could reach you!"

"Poor woodland creature!" I said, turning around. "How could you understand? It was silly of me to scold you. It's not in your little nature to grasp a life of self-denial. Ah! if only I could connect with you!"

"You have reached him," said the hill.

"You've got him," said the hill.

"If only I could touch you!"

"If only I could hold you!"

"You have touched him," said the hill.

"You've touched him," said the hill.

"But I will never leave you," burst out the Faun. "I will sweep out your shrine for you, I will accompany you to the meetings of matrons. I will enrich you at the bazaars."

"But I will never leave you," exclaimed the Faun. "I will clean your shrine for you, I will go with you to the gatherings of women. I will help you at the markets."

I shook my head. "For these things I care not at all. And indeed I was minded to reject your offer of service altogether. There I was wrong. You shall help me—you shall help me to make others happy."

I shook my head. "I don't care about those things at all. In fact, I was thinking of turning down your offer to help completely. I was wrong about that. You will help me—you will help me make others happy."

"Dear priest, what a curious life! People whom I have never seen—people who cannot see me—why should I make them happy?"

"Dear priest, what an intriguing life! People I've never met—people who can't see me—why should I make them happy?"

"My poor lad—perhaps in time you will learn why. Now begone: commence. On this very hill sits a young lady for whom I have a high regard. Commence with her. Aha! your face falls. I thought as much. You cannot do anything. Here is the conclusion of the whole matter!"

"My poor boy—maybe one day you’ll understand why. Now go: start. On this very hill sits a young woman I think highly of. Start with her. Aha! Your face drops. I figured as much. You can’t do anything. Here’s the whole point!"

"I can make her happy," he replied, "if you order me; and when I have done so, perhaps you will trust me more."

"I can make her happy," he said, "if you tell me to; and once I've done that, maybe you'll trust me more."

Emily's mother had started home, but Emily and the little friend still sat beside the tea-things—she in her white piqué dress and biscuit straw, he in his rough but well-cut summer suit. The great pagan figure of the Faun towered insolently above them.

Emily's mom had begun to head home, but Emily and her little friend remained next to the tea set—she in her white cotton dress and straw hat, he in his rugged but well-tailored summer suit. The imposing figure of the Faun loomed arrogantly over them.

The friend was saying, "And have you never felt the appalling loneliness of a crowd?"

The friend said, "Haven't you ever experienced the awful loneliness in a crowd?"

"All that," replied Emily, "have I felt, and very much more—"

"All of that," replied Emily, "I've felt, and so much more—"

Then the Faun laid his hands upon them. They, who had only intended a little cultured flirtation, resisted him as long as they could, but were gradually urged into each other's arms, and embraced with passion.

Then the Faun laid his hands on them. They, who had only planned a little cultured flirting, resisted him as long as they could, but were slowly pushed into each other’s arms and embraced with passion.

"Miscreant!" I shouted, bursting from the wood. "You have betrayed me."

"Troublemaker!" I yelled, bursting out of the woods. "You have betrayed me."

"I know it: I care not," cried the little friend. "Stand aside. You are in the presence of that which you do not understand. In the great solitude we have found ourselves at last."

"I know it: I don't care," yelled the little friend. "Move aside. You are in the presence of something you can't grasp. In this vast emptiness, we've finally found ourselves."

"Remove your accursed hands!" I shrieked to the Faun.

"Get your cursed hands away from me!" I yelled at the Faun.

He obeyed and the little friend continued more calmly: "It is idle to chide. What should you know, poor clerical creature, of the mystery of love of the eternal man and the eternal woman, of the self-effectuation of a soul?"

He complied, and the little friend continued more calmly: "It's pointless to reprimand. What could you possibly understand, poor clerical soul, about the mystery of love between the eternal man and the eternal woman, or the self-realization of a soul?"

"That is true," said Emily angrily. "Harry, you would never have made me happy. I shall treat you as a friend, but how could I give myself to a man who makes such silly jokes? When you played the buffoon at tea, your hour was sealed. I must be treated seriously: I must see infinities broadening around me as I rise. You may not approve of it, but so I am. In the great solitude I have found myself at last."

"That's true," Emily said angrily. "Harry, you would never have made me happy. I’ll treat you as a friend, but how could I commit to a guy who makes such silly jokes? When you acted like a fool at tea, that sealed your fate. I need to be taken seriously: I need to see infinite possibilities as I grow. You might not like it, but that’s how I am. In this deep solitude, I've finally found myself."

"Wretched girl!" I cried. "Great solitude! O pair of helpless puppets——"

"Wretched girl!" I shouted. "What a lonely place! Oh, a couple of helpless puppets—"

The little friend began to lead Emily away, but I heard her whisper to him: "Dear, we can't possibly leave the basket for Harry after this: and mother's rug; do you mind having that in the other hand?"

The little friend started to take Emily away, but I heard her whisper to him: "Hey, we can't leave the basket for Harry now: and mom's rug; do you mind holding that in the other hand?"

So they departed and I flung myself upon the ground with every appearance of despair.

So they left, and I threw myself on the ground, looking completely hopeless.

"Does he cry?" said the Faun.

"Does he cry?" asked the Faun.

"He does not cry," answered the hill. "His eyes are as dry as pebbles."

"He doesn't cry," replied the hill. "His eyes are as dry as stones."

My tormentor made me look at him. "I see happiness at the bottom of your heart," said he.

My tormentor forced me to look at him. "I can see happiness deep in your heart," he said.

"I trust I have my secret springs," I answered stiffly. And then I prepared a scathing denunciation, but of all the words I might have said, I only said one and it began with "D."

"I trust I have my hidden motivations," I replied stiffly. And then I got ready to deliver a harsh criticism, but out of all the words I could have said, I only spoke one, and it started with "D."

He gave a joyful cry, "Oh, now you really belong to us. To the end of your life you will swear when you are cross and laugh when you are happy. Now laugh!"

He let out a happy shout, "Oh, now you truly belong to us. For the rest of your life, you will swear when you're angry and laugh when you're happy. Now laugh!"

There was a great silence. All nature stood waiting, while a curate tried to conceal his thoughts not only from nature but from himself. I thought of my injured pride, of my baffled unselfishness, of Emily, whom I was losing through no fault of her own, of the little friend, who just then slipped beneath the heavy tea basket, and that decided me, and I laughed.

There was a deep silence. Nature seemed to be holding its breath while a curate struggled to hide his thoughts not just from nature but from himself. I thought about my wounded pride, my frustrated selflessness, Emily, who I was losing through no fault of her own, and the little friend who just then slipped under the heavy tea basket, and that made up my mind, so I laughed.

That evening, for the first time, I heard the chalk downs singing to each other across the valleys, as they often do when the air is quiet and they have had a comfortable day. From my study window I could see the sunlit figure of the Faun, sitting before the beech copse as a man sits before his house. And as night came on I knew for certain that not only was he asleep, but that the hills and woods were asleep also. The stream, of course, never slept, any more than it ever freezes. Indeed, the hour of darkness is really the hour of water, which has been somewhat stifled all day by the great pulsings of the land. That is why you can feel it and hear it from a greater distance in the night, and why a bath after sundown is most wonderful.

That evening, for the first time, I heard the chalk hills singing to each other across the valleys, just like they often do when the air is calm and they've had a nice day. From my study window, I could see the sunlit figure of the Faun, sitting in front of the beech grove like a guy sitting in front of his house. And as night fell, I knew for sure that not only was he asleep, but the hills and woods were asleep too. The stream, of course, never sleeps, just like it never freezes. In fact, the time of darkness is really the time of water, which has been somewhat held back all day by the rhythms of the land. That’s why you can feel it and hear it from a further distance at night, and why a bath after sundown feels so amazing.

The joy of that first evening is still clear in my memory, in spite of all the happy years that have followed. I remember it when I ascend my pulpit—I have a living now—and look down upon the best people sitting beneath me pew after pew, generous and contented, upon the worse people, crowded in the aisles, upon the whiskered tenors of the choir, and the high-browed curates and the church-wardens fingering their bags, and the supercilious vergers who turn late comers from the door. I remember it also when I sit in my comfortable bachelor rectory, amidst the carpet slippers that good young ladies have worked for me, and the oak brackets that have been carved for me by good young men; amidst my phalanx of presentation teapots and my illuminated testimonials and all the other offerings of people who believe that I have given them a helping hand, and who really have helped me out of the mire themselves. And though I try to communicate that joy to others—as I try to communicate anything else that seems good—and though I sometimes succeed, yet I can tell no one exactly how it came to me. For if I breathed one word of that, my present life, so agreeable and profitable, would come to an end, my congregation would depart, and so should I, and instead of being an asset to my parish, I might find myself an expense to the nation. Therefore in the place of the lyrical and rhetorical treatment, so suitable to the subject, so congenial to my profession, I have been forced to use the unworthy medium of a narrative, and to delude you by declaring that this is a short story, suitable for reading in the train.

The joy of that first evening is still vivid in my memory, despite all the happy years that have come after. I recall it when I get up in my pulpit—I have a congregation now—and look down at the wonderful people sitting below me row after row, generous and contented, at the less fortunate, crowded in the aisles, at the bearded tenors in the choir, the smart curates, and the church wardens fiddling with their bags, and the condescending vergers who turn away latecomers. I remember it too when I sit in my cozy bachelor rectory, surrounded by the carpet slippers that kind young ladies have made for me, and the oak brackets carved by good young men; among my collection of presentation teapots and my framed accolades and all the other gifts from people who think I’ve helped them out, but who have really lifted me out of the mud themselves. And even though I try to share that joy with others—as I try to share anything else that seems good—and even if I sometimes succeed, I can’t tell anyone exactly how it came to me. Because if I revealed even a word of that, my current life, so pleasant and rewarding, would come to an end, my congregation would leave, and so would I, and instead of being an asset to my parish, I might end up being a burden to society. So instead of taking a lyrical and rhetorical approach, which would suit the topic and my profession well, I’ve had to resort to the humble medium of a narrative and trick you into thinking that this is a short story, perfect for reading on the train.


THE ROAD FROM COLONUS

I

For no very intelligible reason, Mr. Lucas had hurried ahead of his party. He was perhaps reaching the age at which independence becomes valuable, because it is so soon to be lost. Tired of attention and consideration, he liked breaking away from the younger members, to ride by himself, and to dismount unassisted. Perhaps he also relished that more subtle pleasure of being kept waiting for lunch, and of telling the others on their arrival that it was of no consequence.

For no clear reason, Mr. Lucas had rushed ahead of his group. He was probably at the age where independence starts to feel important because it would soon be taken away. Tired of being the center of attention, he enjoyed separating himself from the younger people, riding alone, and getting off his horse without help. Maybe he also enjoyed the quieter satisfaction of waiting for lunch and telling the others when they arrived that it didn’t matter.

So, with childish impatience, he battered the animal's sides with his heels, and made the muleteer bang it with a thick stick and prick it with a sharp one, and jolted down the hill sides through clumps of flowering shrubs and stretches of anemones and asphodel, till he heard the sound of running water, and came in sight of the group of plane trees where they were to have their meal.

So, with childish impatience, he kicked the animal's sides with his heels, and had the muleteer hit it with a thick stick and poke it with a sharp one. They bounced down the hillside through patches of flowering shrubs and fields of anemones and asphodel, until he heard the sound of running water and spotted the group of plane trees where they were going to have their meal.

Even in England those trees would have been remarkable, so huge were they, so interlaced, so magnificently clothed in quivering green. And here in Greece they were unique, the one cool spot in that hard brilliant landscape, already scorched by the heat of an April sun. In their midst was hidden a tiny Khan or country inn, a frail mud building with a broad wooden balcony in which sat an old woman spinning, while a small brown pig, eating orange peel, stood beside her. On the wet earth below squatted two children, playing some primaeval game with their fingers; and their mother, none too clean either, was messing with some rice inside. As Mrs. Forman would have said, it was all very Greek, and the fastidious Mr. Lucas felt thankful that they were bringing their own food with them, and should eat it in the open air.

Even in England, those trees would have been impressive—so huge, so intertwined, so beautifully adorned in shimmering green. And here in Greece, they were one-of-a-kind, the only cool spot in that harsh, bright landscape, already baked by the April sun. Hidden among them was a small Khan or country inn, a fragile mud building with a wide wooden balcony where an old woman was spinning, while a small brown pig, munching on orange peel, stood next to her. On the damp ground below, two children squatted, playing some ancient game with their fingers, while their mother, not the cleanest either, was working with rice inside. As Mrs. Forman would have said, it was all very Greek, and the particular Mr. Lucas felt grateful that they were bringing their own food and would eat it outdoors.

Still, he was glad to be there—the muleteer had helped him off—and glad that Mrs. Forman was not there to forestall his opinions—glad even that he should not see Ethel for quite half an hour. Ethel was his youngest daughter, still unmarried. She was unselfish and affectionate, and it was generally understood that she was to devote her life to her father, and be the comfort of his old age. Mrs. Forman always referred to her as Antigone, and Mr. Lucas tried to settle down to the role of Oedipus, which seemed the only one that public opinion allowed him.

Still, he was glad to be there—the muleteer had helped him down—and glad that Mrs. Forman wasn’t around to influence his opinions—glad even that he wouldn’t see Ethel for at least half an hour. Ethel was his youngest daughter, still unmarried. She was selfless and loving, and it was generally understood that she would dedicate her life to her father and be the comfort of his old age. Mrs. Forman always called her Antigone, and Mr. Lucas tried to settle into the role of Oedipus, which seemed to be the only option that society allowed him.

He had this in common with Oedipus, that he was growing old. Even to himself it had become obvious. He had lost interest in other people's affairs, and seldom attended when they spoke to him. He was fond of talking himself but often forgot what he was going to say, and even when he succeeded, it seldom seemed worth the effort. His phrases and gestures had become stiff and set, his anecdotes, once so successful, fell flat, his silence was as meaningless as his speech. Yet he had led a healthy, active life, had worked steadily, made money, educated his children. There was nothing and no one to blame: he was simply growing old.

He had this in common with Oedipus: he was getting older. Even he admitted it to himself. He had lost interest in other people's lives and rarely paid attention when they talked to him. He enjoyed sharing his own stories but often forgot what he wanted to say, and even when he did remember, it rarely felt worth it. His words and gestures had become stiff and predictable, his stories, once entertaining, now fell flat, and his silence was as empty as his chatter. Still, he had lived a healthy, active life, worked hard, made money, and raised his kids. There was nothing and no one to blame; he was simply aging.

At the present moment, here he was in Greece, and one of the dreams of his life was realized. Forty years ago he had caught the fever of Hellenism, and all his life he had felt that could he but visit that land, he would not have lived in vain. But Athens had been dusty, Delphi wet, Thermopylae flat, and he had listened with amazement and cynicism to the rapturous exclamations of his companions. Greece was like England: it was a man who was growing old, and it made no difference whether that man looked at the Thames or the Eurotas. It was his last hope of contradicting that logic of experience, and it was failing.

Right now, here he was in Greece, and one of his lifelong dreams had come true. Forty years ago, he had caught the Hellenism bug, and he always believed that if he could just visit that land, his life wouldn’t have been in vain. But Athens was dusty, Delphi was wet, Thermopylae was flat, and he listened with a mix of amazement and cynicism to the enthusiastic comments from his friends. Greece was like England: it was a man growing old, and it didn’t matter whether this man looked at the Thames or the Eurotas. This was his last chance to challenge that logic of experience, and it was slipping away.

Yet Greece had done something for him, though he did not know it. It had made him discontented, and there are stirrings of life in discontent. He knew that he was not the victim of continual ill-luck. Something great was wrong, and he was pitted against no mediocre or accidental enemy. For the last month a strange desire had possessed him to die fighting.

Yet Greece had done something for him, even though he wasn’t aware of it. It had made him restless, and there are sparks of life in restlessness. He realized he was not just facing a streak of bad luck. Something significant was wrong, and he was up against no ordinary or chance adversary. For the past month, a strange urge had taken hold of him to die in battle.

"Greece is the land for young people," he said to himself as he stood under the plane trees, "but I will enter into it, I will possess it. Leaves shall be green again, water shall be sweet, the sky shall be blue. They were so forty years ago, and I will win them back. I do mind being old, and I will pretend no longer."

"Greece is a place for young people," he thought as he stood under the plane trees, "but I will step into it, I will claim it. The leaves will be green again, the water will be sweet, the sky will be blue. They were like that forty years ago, and I will take them back. I do care about being old, and I won’t pretend anymore."

He took two steps forward, and immediately cold waters were gurgling over his ankle.

He took two steps forward, and suddenly cold water was splashing over his ankle.

"Where does the water come from?" he asked himself. "I do not even know that." He remembered that all the hill sides were dry; yet here the road was suddenly covered with flowing streams.

"Where does the water come from?" he wondered. "I don’t even know that." He recalled that all the hillsides were dry; yet here, the road was suddenly filled with flowing streams.

He stopped still in amazement, saying: "Water out of a tree—out of a hollow tree? I never saw nor thought of that before."

He stood there in shock, saying: "Water from a tree—out of a hollow tree? I've never seen or thought of that before."

For the enormous plane that leant towards the Khan was hollow—it had been burnt out for charcoal—and from its living trunk there gushed an impetuous spring, coating the bark with fern and moss, and flowing over the mule track to create fertile meadows beyond. The simple country folk had paid to beauty and mystery such tribute as they could, for in the rind of the tree a shrine was cut, holding a lamp and a little picture of the Virgin, inheritor of the Naiad's and Dryad's joint abode.

For the huge tree that leaned toward the Khan was hollow—it had been burned out for charcoal—and from its living trunk, an eager spring gushed, covering the bark with ferns and moss, and flowing over the mule path to create fertile meadows beyond. The simple country folk had paid their respects to beauty and mystery in whatever way they could, for in the tree's bark was carved a shrine, holding a lamp and a small picture of the Virgin, the inheritor of the Naiad's and Dryad's shared home.

"I never saw anything so marvellous before," said Mr. Lucas. "I could even step inside the trunk and see where the water comes from."

"I've never seen anything so amazing before," said Mr. Lucas. "I could even climb into the trunk and see where the water’s coming from."

For a moment he hesitated to violate the shrine. Then he remembered with a smile his own thought—"the place shall be mine; I will enter it and possess it"—and leapt almost aggressively on to a stone within.

For a moment he hesitated to desecrate the shrine. Then he remembered with a smile his own thought—"the place is going to be mine; I will step inside and claim it"—and jumped almost defiantly onto a stone inside.

The water pressed up steadily and noiselessly from the hollow roots and hidden crevices of the plane, forming a wonderful amber pool ere it spilt over the lip of bark on to the earth outside. Mr. Lucas tasted it and it was sweet, and when he looked up the black funnel of the trunk he saw sky which was blue, and some leaves which were green; and he remembered, without smiling, another of his thoughts.

The water flowed steadily and quietly from the hollow roots and hidden cracks of the plane tree, creating a beautiful amber pool before spilling over the bark’s edge onto the ground outside. Mr. Lucas tasted it, and it was sweet. When he looked up the dark funnel of the trunk, he saw a blue sky and some green leaves; and he recalled, without smiling, another one of his thoughts.

Others had been before him—indeed he had a curious sense of companionship. Little votive offerings to the presiding Power were fastened on to the bark—tiny arms and legs and eyes in tin, grotesque models of the brain or the heart—all tokens of some recovery of strength or wisdom or love. There was no such thing as the solitude of nature for the sorrows and joys of humanity had pressed even into the bosom of a tree. He spread out his arms and steadied himself against the soft charred wood, and then slowly leant back, till his body was resting on the trunk behind. His eyes closed, and he had the strange feeling of one who is moving, yet at peace—the feeling of the swimmer, who, after long struggling with chopping seas, finds that after all the tide will sweep him to his goal.

Others had been there before him—he felt a strange sense of companionship. Little offerings to the higher power were attached to the bark—tiny arms, legs, and eyes made of tin, odd models of the brain or heart—all signs of some recovery of strength, wisdom, or love. There was no true solitude in nature, as the joys and sorrows of humanity had seeped even into the heart of a tree. He spread out his arms and leaned against the soft, charred wood, then slowly leaned back until his body was resting against the trunk. His eyes closed, and he experienced a peculiar feeling of movement, yet at peace—the sensation of a swimmer who, after struggling against rough waves, realizes that the tide will carry him to his destination.

So he lay motionless, conscious only of the stream below his feet, and that all things were a stream, in which he was moving.

So he lay still, aware only of the stream beneath his feet, and of the fact that everything was a stream in which he was flowing.

He was aroused at last by a shock—the shock of an arrival perhaps, for when he opened his eyes, something unimagined, indefinable, had passed over all things, and made them intelligible and good.

He finally woke up with a jolt—maybe it was the shock of someone arriving—because when he opened his eyes, something unimaginable and indescribable had swept over everything, making it clear and positive.

There was meaning in the stoop of the old woman over her work, and in the quick motions of the little pig, and in her diminishing globe of wool. A young man came singing over the streams on a mule, and there was beauty in his pose and sincerity in his greeting. The sun made no accidental patterns upon the spreading roots of the trees, and there was intention in the nodding clumps of asphodel, and in the music of the water. To Mr. Lucas, who, in a brief space of time, had discovered not only Greece, but England and all the world and life, there seemed nothing ludicrous in the desire to hang within the tree another votive offering—a little model of an entire man.

There was meaning in the way the old woman hunched over her work, in the quick movements of the little pig, and in her shrinking ball of wool. A young man rode by on a mule, singing, and there was beauty in his stance and sincerity in his greeting. The sun didn't create random patterns on the sprawling roots of the trees; instead, there was intention in the bobbing clusters of asphodel and in the sounds of the water. To Mr. Lucas, who had quickly discovered not just Greece, but England and the whole world and life itself, nothing seemed ridiculous about wanting to hang another votive offering in the tree—a tiny model of a whole man.

"Why, here's papa, playing at being Merlin."

"Look, here’s Dad, pretending to be Merlin."

All unnoticed they had arrived—Ethel, Mrs. Forman, Mr. Graham, and the English-speaking dragoman. Mr. Lucas peered out at them suspiciously. They had suddenly become unfamiliar, and all that they did seemed strained and coarse.

All unrecognized, they had shown up—Ethel, Mrs. Forman, Mr. Graham, and the English-speaking guide. Mr. Lucas looked out at them warily. They seemed suddenly strange, and everything they did came off as forced and rough.

"Allow me to give you a hand," said Mr. Graham, a young man who was always polite to his elders.

"Let me give you a hand," said Mr. Graham, a young man who was always respectful to his elders.

Mr. Lucas felt annoyed. "Thank you, I can manage perfectly well by myself," he replied. His foot slipped as he stepped out of the tree, and went into the spring.

Mr. Lucas felt annoyed. "Thanks, I can handle this just fine on my own," he replied. His foot slipped as he stepped out of the tree and landed in the spring.

"Oh papa, my papa!" said Ethel, "what are you doing? Thank goodness I have got a change for you on the mule."

"Oh Dad, my Dad!" said Ethel, "what are you doing? Thank goodness I have a change for you on the mule."

She tended him carefully, giving him clean socks and dry boots, and then sat him down on the rug beside the lunch basket, while she went with the others to explore the grove.

She took care of him, giving him fresh socks and dry boots, and then sat him down on the rug next to the lunch basket while she joined the others to explore the grove.

They came back in ecstasies, in which Mr. Lucas tried to join. But he found them intolerable. Their enthusiasm was superficial, commonplace, and spasmodic. They had no perception of the coherent beauty that was flowering around them. He tried at least to explain his feelings, and what he said was:

They came back incredibly excited, and Mr. Lucas tried to join in. But he found them unbearable. Their enthusiasm was shallow, ordinary, and erratic. They didn't notice the beautiful things blooming around them. He at least tried to express how he felt, and what he said was:

"I am altogether pleased with the appearance of this place. It impresses me very favourably. The trees are fine, remarkably fine for Greece, and there is something very poetic in the spring of clear running water. The people too seem kindly and civil. It is decidedly an attractive place."

"I’m really happy with how this place looks. It makes a great impression on me. The trees are beautiful, especially for Greece, and there’s something very poetic about the spring of clear running water. The people also seem friendly and polite. It’s definitely an appealing place."

Mrs. Forman upbraided him for his tepid praise.

Mrs. Forman criticized him for his lukewarm praise.

"Oh, it is a place in a thousand!" she cried "I could live and die here! I really would stop if I had not to be back at Athens! It reminds me of the Colonus of Sophocles."

"Oh, it’s an incredible place!" she exclaimed. "I could live and die here! I would really stay if I didn’t have to return to Athens! It reminds me of the Colonus from Sophocles."

"Well, I must stop," said Ethel. "I positively must."

"Well, I have to stop," Ethel said. "I really have to."

"Yes, do! You and your father! Antigone and Oedipus. Of course you must stop at Colonus!"

"Sure, go ahead! You and your dad! Antigone and Oedipus. You definitely need to make a stop at Colonus!"

Mr. Lucas was almost breathless with excitement. When he stood within the tree, he had believed that his happiness would be independent of locality. But these few minutes' conversation had undeceived him. He no longer trusted himself to journey through the world, for old thoughts, old wearinesses might be waiting to rejoin him as soon as he left the shade of the planes, and the music of the virgin water. To sleep in the Khan with the gracious, kind-eyed country people, to watch the bats flit about within the globe of shade, and see the moon turn the golden patterns into silver—one such night would place him beyond relapse, and confirm him for ever in the kingdom he had regained. But all his lips could say was: "I should be willing to put in a night here."

Mr. Lucas was almost breathless with excitement. Standing under the tree, he had thought his happiness would depend on nothing but himself. But after just a few minutes of conversation, that belief was shattered. He no longer felt confident about traveling through the world, as old thoughts and tired feelings might come back to him as soon as he left the cool shade and the soothing sound of the water. Spending the night at the inn with the warm, welcoming locals, watching the bats glide through the dim light, and seeing the moon turn golden patterns into silver—just one night like that would solidify his recovery and keep him in the paradise he had found. All he could manage to say was, "I’d be happy to spend a night here."

"You mean a week, papa! It would be sacrilege to put in less."

"You mean a week, Dad! It would be a sin to do less."

"A week then, a week," said his lips, irritated at being corrected, while his heart was leaping with joy. All through lunch he spoke to them no more, but watched the place he should know so well, and the people who would so soon be his companions and friends. The inmates of the Khan only consisted of an old woman, a middle-aged woman, a young man and two children, and to none of them had he spoken, yet he loved them as he loved everything that moved or breathed or existed beneath the benedictory shade of the planes.

"A week, just a week," his lips said, annoyed at being corrected, while his heart was overflowing with joy. Throughout lunch, he didn’t talk to them anymore but kept an eye on the place he should know so well and the people who would soon be his companions and friends. The residents of the Khan were just an old woman, a middle-aged woman, a young man, and two children, and he hadn’t spoken to any of them, yet he loved them as he loved everything that moved, breathed, or existed under the blessed shade of the plane trees.

"En route!" said the shrill voice of Mrs. Forman. "Ethel! Mr. Graham! The best of things must end."

"On the way!" said Mrs. Forman's sharp voice. "Ethel! Mr. Graham! All good things must come to an end."

"To-night," thought Mr. Lucas, "they will light the little lamp by the shrine. And when we all sit together on the balcony, perhaps they will tell me which offerings they put up."

"Tonight," thought Mr. Lucas, "they will light the small lamp by the shrine. And when we all sit together on the balcony, maybe they will tell me what offerings they put up."

"I beg your pardon, Mr. Lucas," said Graham, "but they want to fold up the rug you are sitting on."

"I’m sorry, Mr. Lucas," Graham said, "but they want to roll up the rug you’re sitting on."

Mr. Lucas got up, saying to himself: "Ethel shall go to bed first, and then I will try to tell them about my offering too—for it is a thing I must do. I think they will understand if I am left with them alone."

Mr. Lucas got up, thinking to himself: "Ethel will go to bed first, and then I'll try to tell them about my offer too—because it's something I need to do. I believe they’ll understand if I’m left alone with them."

Ethel touched him on the cheek. "Papa! I've called you three times. All the mules are here."

Ethel touched his cheek. "Dad! I've called you three times. All the mules are here."

"Mules? What mules?"

"Mules? Which mules?"

"Our mules. We're all waiting. Oh, Mr. Graham, do help my father on."

"Our mules. We're all waiting. Oh, Mr. Graham, please help my father."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ethel."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Ethel."

"My dearest papa, we must start. You know we have to get to Olympia to-night."

"My dearest dad, we need to get going. You know we have to reach Olympia tonight."

Mr. Lucas in pompous, confident tones replied: "I always did wish, Ethel, that you had a better head for plans. You know perfectly well that we are putting in a week here. It is your own suggestion."

Mr. Lucas replied in a pompous, confident tone: "I've always wished, Ethel, that you had a better head for plans. You know very well that we're spending a week here. It was your own suggestion."

Ethel was startled into impoliteness. "What a perfectly ridiculous idea. You must have known I was joking. Of course I meant I wished we could."

Ethel was caught off guard and responded rudely. "What a totally ridiculous idea. You must have known I was joking. Of course I meant I wish we could."

"Ah! if we could only do what we wished!" sighed Mrs. Forman, already seated on her mule.

"Ah! if only we could do what we wanted!" sighed Mrs. Forman, already seated on her mule.

"Surely," Ethel continued in calmer tones, "you didn't think I meant it."

"Of course," Ethel continued more calmly, "you didn't think I meant that."

"Most certainly I did. I have made all my plans on the supposition that we are stopping here, and it will be extremely inconvenient, indeed, impossible for me to start."

"Of course I did. I've made all my plans based on the assumption that we're staying here, and it will be really inconvenient, even impossible for me to leave."

He delivered this remark with an air of great conviction, and Mrs. Forman and Mr. Graham had to turn away to hide their smiles.

He said this with a lot of confidence, and Mrs. Forman and Mr. Graham had to look away to hide their smiles.

"I am sorry I spoke so carelessly; it was wrong of me. But, you know, we can't break up our party, and even one night here would make us miss the boat at Patras."

"I’m sorry I spoke so thoughtlessly; that was my mistake. But, you know, we can’t break up our party, and even spending one night here would make us miss the boat to Patras."

Mrs. Forman, in an aside, called Mr. Graham's attention to the excellent way in which Ethel managed her father.

Mrs. Forman, in a side comment, pointed out to Mr. Graham how well Ethel handled her father.

"I don't mind about the Patras boat. You said that we should stop here, and we are stopping."

"I don't care about the Patras boat. You said we should stop here, so we're stopping."

It seemed as if the inhabitants of the Khan had divined in some mysterious way that the altercation touched them. The old woman stopped her spinning, while the young man and the two children stood behind Mr. Lucas, as if supporting him.

It felt like the people in the Khan somehow knew that the argument affected them. The old woman paused her spinning, while the young man and the two children stood behind Mr. Lucas, as if backing him up.

Neither arguments nor entreaties moved him. He said little, but he was absolutely determined, because for the first time he saw his daily life aright. What need had he to return to England? Who would miss him? His friends were dead or cold. Ethel loved him in a way, but, as was right, she had other interests. His other children he seldom saw. He had only one other relative, his sister Julia, whom he both feared and hated. It was no effort to struggle. He would be a fool as well as a coward if he stirred from the place which brought him happiness and peace.

Neither arguments nor pleas affected him. He said very little, but he was completely set on his decision because, for the first time, he saw his daily life clearly. Why would he need to go back to England? Who would even notice he was gone? His friends had either passed away or drifted apart. Ethel cared for him in her own way, but, rightly so, she had other priorities. He barely saw his other children. He only had one other family member, his sister Julia, who he both feared and despised. There was no point in fighting it. He would be both a fool and a coward if he left the place that brought him joy and peace.

At last Ethel, to humour him, and not disinclined to air her modern Greek, went into the Khan with the astonished dragoman to look at the rooms. The woman inside received them with loud welcomes, and the young man, when no one was looking, began to lead Mr. Lucas' mule to the stable.

At last, Ethel, wanting to please him and eager to show off her modern Greek, walked into the Khan with the surprised guide to check out the rooms. The woman inside greeted them with enthusiastic welcomes, and the young man, when no one was watching, started to take Mr. Lucas' mule to the stable.

"Drop it, you brigand!" shouted Graham, who always declared that foreigners could understand English if they chose. He was right, for the man obeyed, and they all stood waiting for Ethel's return.

"Drop it, you thief!" shouted Graham, who always insisted that foreigners could understand English if they wanted to. He was right, because the man complied, and they all waited for Ethel to come back.

She emerged at last, with close-gathered skirts, followed by the dragoman bearing the little pig, which he had bought at a bargain.

She finally appeared, with her skirts gathered closely, followed by the guide carrying the little pig he had bought at a good deal.

"My dear papa, I will do all I can for you, but stop in that Khan—no."

"My dear dad, I will do everything I can for you, but staying in that Khan—no."

"Are there—fleas?" asked Mrs. Forman.

"Are there fleas?" asked Mrs. Forman.

Ethel intimated that "fleas" was not the word.

Ethel hinted that "fleas" wasn't the right word.

"Well, I am afraid that settles it," said Mrs. Forman, "I know how particular Mr. Lucas is."

"Well, I’m afraid that settles it," said Mrs. Forman. "I know how specific Mr. Lucas is."

"It does not settle it," said Mr. Lucas. "Ethel, you go on. I do not want you. I don't know why I ever consulted you. I shall stop here alone."

"It doesn't resolve anything," Mr. Lucas said. "Ethel, you keep going. I don’t need you. I don’t know why I ever asked for your opinion. I’ll stay here by myself."

"That is absolute nonsense," said Ethel, losing her temper. "How can you be left alone at your age? How would you get your meals or your bath? All your letters are waiting for you at Patras. You'll miss the boat. That means missing the London operas, and upsetting all your engagements for the month. And as if you could travel by yourself!"

"That's total nonsense," Ethel exclaimed, losing her cool. "How can you be left alone at your age? How would you manage your meals or take a bath? All your letters are waiting for you at Patras. You're going to miss the boat. That means missing the London operas and messing up all your plans for the month. And as if you could travel by yourself!"

"They might knife you," was Mr. Graham's contribution.

"They might stab you," was Mr. Graham's contribution.

The Greeks said nothing; but whenever Mr. Lucas looked their way, they beckoned him towards the Khan. The children would even have drawn him by the coat, and the old woman on the balcony stopped her almost completed spinning, and fixed him with mysterious appealing eyes. As he fought, the issue assumed gigantic proportions, and he believed that he was not merely stopping because he had regained youth or seen beauty or found happiness, but because in, that place and with those people a supreme event was awaiting him which would transfigure the face of the world. The moment was so tremendous that he abandoned words and arguments as useless, and rested on the strength of his mighty unrevealed allies: silent men, murmuring water, and whispering trees. For the whole place called with one voice, articulate to him, and his garrulous opponents became every minute more meaningless and absurd. Soon they would be tired and go chattering away into the sun, leaving him to the cool grove and the moonlight and the destiny he foresaw.

The Greeks said nothing; but every time Mr. Lucas glanced their way, they signaled him to come to the Khan. The children almost tugged at his coat, and the old woman on the balcony paused her spinning and fixed him with her mysterious, pleading eyes. As he struggled with his decision, it felt like a monumental choice, and he believed he wasn't just pausing because he had regained his youth or seen beauty or found happiness, but because in that moment, with those people, a profound event was about to happen that would change everything. The moment felt so powerful that he discarded words and arguments as pointless, relying instead on the strength of his unseen allies: quiet men, murmuring water, and whispering trees. The whole place seemed to call out to him in a unified voice, making his chatty opponents seem increasingly meaningless and ridiculous. Soon, they would wear themselves out and wander off into the sunlight, leaving him in the cool grove with the moonlight and the destiny he envisioned.

Mrs. Forman and the dragoman had indeed already started, amid the piercing screams of the little pig, and the struggle might have gone on indefinitely if Ethel had not called in Mr. Graham.

Mrs. Forman and the guide had already started, amid the piercing screams of the little pig, and the struggle might have continued indefinitely if Ethel hadn't called in Mr. Graham.

"Can you help me?" she whispered. "He is absolutely unmanageable."

"Can you help me?" she whispered. "He's completely out of control."

"I'm no good at arguing—but if I could help you in any other way——" and he looked down complacently at his well-made figure.

"I'm not great at arguing—but if I can help you in any other way——" and he looked down proudly at his well-built body.

Ethel hesitated. Then she said: "Help me in any way you can. After all, it is for his good that we do it."

Ethel paused. Then she said, "Help me in any way you can. After all, we’re doing this for his benefit."

"Then have his mule led up behind him."

"Then have someone lead his mule up behind him."

So when Mr. Lucas thought he had gained the day, he suddenly felt himself lifted off the ground, and sat sideways on the saddle, and at the same time the mule started off at a trot. He said nothing, for he had nothing to say, and even his face showed little emotion as he felt the shade pass and heard the sound of the water cease. Mr. Graham was running at his side, hat in hand, apologizing.

So when Mr. Lucas thought he had won, he suddenly felt himself lifted off the ground, sitting sideways on the saddle as the mule took off at a trot. He didn’t say anything because he had nothing to say, and even his face showed little emotion as he noticed the shade disappear and heard the sound of the water stop. Mr. Graham was running beside him, hat in hand, apologizing.

"I know I had no business to do it, and I do beg your pardon awfully. But I do hope that some day you too will feel that I was—damn!"

"I know I had no right to do it, and I really apologize. But I hope that one day you'll understand that I was—damn!"

A stone had caught him in the middle of the back. It was thrown by the little boy, who was pursuing them along the mule track. He was followed by his sister, also throwing stones.

A stone hit him in the middle of the back. It was thrown by the little boy who was chasing them along the mule track. His sister followed behind, throwing stones as well.

Ethel screamed to the dragoman, who was some way ahead with Mrs. Forman, but before he could rejoin them, another adversary appeared. It was the young Greek, who had cut them off in front, and now dashed down at Mr. Lucas' bridle. Fortunately Graham was an expert boxer, and it did not take him a moment to beat down the youth's feeble defence, and to send him sprawling with a bleeding mouth into the asphodel. By this time the dragoman had arrived, the children, alarmed at the fate of their brother, had desisted, and the rescue party, if such it is to be considered, retired in disorder to the trees.

Ethel yelled to the guide, who was a little ahead with Mrs. Forman, but before he could catch up to them, another opponent showed up. It was the young Greek who had blocked their path earlier, and now he rushed at Mr. Lucas' horse. Luckily, Graham was a skilled boxer, and it took him no time to overpower the youth's weak defense and send him crashing to the ground with a bleeding mouth into the flowers. By this point, the guide had arrived, the children, frightened by their brother's situation, had stopped, and the rescue group, if you could call it that, retreated in chaos to the trees.

"Little devils!" said Graham, laughing; with triumph. "That's the modern Greek all over. Your father meant money if he stopped, and they consider we were taking it out of their pocket."

"Little devils!" Graham said, laughing with triumph. "That's just like the modern Greek. Your father meant money if he hesitated, and they think we were taking it out of their pocket."

"Oh, they are terrible—simple savages! I don't know how I shall ever thank you. You've saved my father."

"Oh, they're awful—just primitive savages! I don't know how I'll ever thank you. You've saved my dad."

"I only hope you didn't think me brutal."

"I just hope you didn't think I was being harsh."

"No," replied Ethel with a little sigh. "I admire strength."

"No," Ethel replied with a small sigh. "I admire strength."

Meanwhile the cavalcade reformed, and Mr. Lucas, who, as Mrs. Forman said, bore his disappointment wonderfully well, was put comfortably on to his mule. They hurried up the opposite hillside, fearful of another attack, and it was not until they had left the eventful place far behind that Ethel found an opportunity to speak to her father and ask his pardon for the way she had treated him.

Meanwhile, the group regrouped, and Mr. Lucas, who, as Mrs. Forman noted, handled his disappointment quite well, was settled back onto his mule. They rushed up the other hillside, worried about another attack, and it wasn’t until they had moved far away from the significant site that Ethel found a chance to talk to her father and apologize for how she had treated him.

"You seemed so different, dear father, and you quite frightened me. Now I feel that you are your old self again."

"You seemed so different, Dad, and you really scared me. Now I feel like you’re back to your old self again."

He did not answer, and she concluded that he was not unnaturally offended at her behaviour.

He didn’t respond, and she figured he wasn’t unreasonably upset with her behavior.

By one of those curious tricks of mountain scenery, the place they had left an hour before suddenly reappeared far below them. The Khan was hidden under the green dome, but in the open there still stood three figures, and through the pure air rose up a faint cry of defiance or farewell.

By one of those strange quirks of mountain landscapes, the place they had just left appeared again far below them. The Khan was concealed beneath the green canopy, but out in the open, three figures still stood, and through the clear air, a faint cry of defiance or farewell rose up.

Mr. Lucas stopped irresolutely, and let the reins fall from his hand.

Mr. Lucas stopped uncertainly and let the reins slip from his hand.

"Come, father dear," said Ethel gently.

"Come on, Dad," Ethel said softly.

He obeyed, and in another moment a spur of the hill hid the dangerous scene for ever.

He complied, and in just a moment, a ridge of the hill concealed the dangerous scene for good.

II

It was breakfast time, but the gas was alight, owing to the fog. Mr. Lucas was in the middle of an account of a bad night he had spent. Ethel, who was to be married in a few weeks, had her arms on the table, listening.

It was breakfast time, but the gas was on because of the fog. Mr. Lucas was in the middle of telling about a rough night he had. Ethel, who was set to get married in a few weeks, rested her arms on the table, listening.

"First the door bell rang, then you came back from the theatre. Then the dog started, and after the dog the cat. And at three in the morning a young hooligan passed by singing. Oh yes: then there was the water gurgling in the pipe above my head."

"First the doorbell rang, then you came back from the theater. Then the dog started barking, and after the dog the cat joined in. And at three in the morning, a young troublemaker walked by singing. Oh yes, and then there was the water gurgling in the pipe above my head."

"I think that was only the bath water running away," said Ethel, looking rather worn.

"I think that was just the bath water draining," said Ethel, looking quite tired.

"Well, there's nothing I dislike more than running water. It's perfectly impossible to sleep in the house. I shall give it up. I shall give notice next quarter. I shall tell the landlord plainly, 'The reason I am giving up the house is this: it is perfectly impossible to sleep in it.' If he says—says—well, what has he got to say?"

"Well, there's nothing I hate more than running water. It's absolutely impossible to sleep in the house. I'm done with it. I’ll give notice next quarter. I’ll tell the landlord straightforwardly, 'The reason I’m leaving the house is this: it’s simply impossible to get any sleep in here.' If he responds—well, what does he have to say?"

"Some more toast, father?"

"More toast, Dad?"

"Thank you, my dear." He took it, and there was an interval of peace.

"Thank you, my dear." He accepted it, and there was a moment of calm.

But he soon recommenced. "I'm not going to submit to the practising next door as tamely as they think. I wrote and told them so—didn't I?"

But he soon started again. "I'm not going to put up with the noise from next door as easily as they think. I wrote and told them that—didn't I?"

"Yes," said Ethel, who had taken care that the letter should not reach. "I have seen the governess, and she has promised to arrange it differently. And Aunt Julia hates noise. It will sure to be all right."

"Yes," said Ethel, who had made sure the letter wouldn’t get delivered. "I’ve talked to the governess, and she promised to handle it differently. And Aunt Julia can't stand noise. It should definitely be fine."

Her aunt, being the only unattached member of the family, was coming to keep house for her father when she left him. The reference was not a happy one, and Mr. Lucas commenced a series of half articulate sighs, which was only stopped by the arrival of the post.

Her aunt, the only single person in the family, was coming to help take care of her dad when she left him. This wasn’t a pleasant topic, and Mr. Lucas started making a series of half-formed sighs, which only stopped when the mail arrived.

"Oh, what a parcel!" cried Ethel. "For me! What can it be! Greek stamps. This is most exciting!"

"Oh, what a package!" Ethel exclaimed. "For me! I wonder what it is! Greek stamps. This is so exciting!"

It proved to be some asphodel bulbs, sent by Mrs. Forman from Athens for planting in the conservatory.

It turned out to be some asphodel bulbs, sent by Mrs. Forman from Athens for planting in the greenhouse.

"Doesn't it bring it all back! You remember the asphodels, father. And all wrapped up in Greek newspapers. I wonder if I can read them still. I used to be able to, you know."

"Doesn't it bring it all back! You remember the asphodels, Dad. And all wrapped up in Greek newspapers. I wonder if I can still read them. I used to be able to, you know."

She rattled on, hoping to conceal the laughter of the children next door—a favourite source of querulousness at breakfast time.

She kept talking, trying to drown out the laughter of the kids next door—a favorite cause of annoyance during breakfast time.

"Listen to me! 'A rural disaster.' Oh, I've hit on something sad. But never mind. 'Last Tuesday at Plataniste, in the province of messenia, a shocking tragedy occurred. A large tree'—aren't I getting on well?—'blew down in the night and'—wait a minute—oh, dear! 'crushed to death the five occupants of the little Khan there, who had apparently been sitting in the balcony. The bodies of Maria Rhomaides, the aged proprietress, and of her daughter, aged forty-six, were easily recognizable, whereas that of her grandson'—oh, the rest is really too horrid; I wish I had never tried it, and what's more I feel to have heard the name Plataniste before. We didn't stop there, did we, in the spring?"

"Listen to me! 'A rural disaster.' Oh, I've stumbled upon something tragic. But never mind. 'Last Tuesday in Plataniste, in the province of Messenia, a shocking tragedy occurred. A large tree'—aren't I doing well?—'fell down during the night and'—hold on—oh, dear! 'crushed to death the five people inside the little inn there, who had apparently been sitting on the balcony. The bodies of Maria Rhomaides, the elderly owner, and her daughter, who was forty-six, were easily recognizable, while her grandson's body'—oh, this is really too gruesome; I wish I had never started this, and what's more, I feel like I've heard the name Plataniste before. We didn't stop there, did we, in the spring?"

"We had lunch," said Mr. Lucas, with a faint expression of trouble on his vacant face. "Perhaps it was where the dragoman bought the pig."

"We had lunch," Mr. Lucas said, a slight look of concern on his blank face. "Maybe it was where the guide bought the pig."

"Of course," said Ethel in a nervous voice. "Where the dragoman bought the little pig. How terrible!"

"Of course," Ethel said nervously. "Where the guide bought the little pig. How awful!"

"Very terrible!" said her father, whose attention was wandering to the noisy children next door. Ethel suddenly started to her feet with genuine interest.

"Very terrible!" said her father, whose focus was drifting to the loud kids next door. Ethel suddenly jumped to her feet with real interest.

"Good gracious!" she exclaimed. "This is an old paper. It happened not lately but in April—the night of Tuesday the eighteenth—and we—we must have been there in the afternoon."

"Wow!" she exclaimed. "This is an old piece of paper. It didn’t happen recently but in April—the night of Tuesday the eighteenth—and we—we must have been there in the afternoon."

"So we were," said Mr. Lucas. She put her hand to her heart, scarcely able to speak.

"So we were," Mr. Lucas said. She put her hand to her heart, barely able to speak.

"Father, dear father, I must say it: you wanted to stop there. All those people, those poor half savage people, tried, to keep you, and they're dead. The whole place, it says, is in ruins, and even the stream has changed its course. Father, dear, if it had not been for me, and if Arthur had not helped me, you must have been killed."

"Father, dear father, I have to say it: you wanted to stay there. All those people, those poor, half-wild people, tried to hold you back, and they’re gone. The whole area, I hear, is in ruins, and even the stream has changed its path. Father, dear, if it weren't for me, and if Arthur hadn't helped me, you would have been killed."

Mr. Lucas waved his hand irritably. "It is not a bit of good speaking to the governess, I shall write to the landlord and say, 'The reason I am giving up the house is this: the dog barks, the children next door are intolerable, and I cannot stand the noise of running water.'"

Mr. Lucas waved his hand irritably. "It’s no use talking to the governess. I’ll write to the landlord and say, 'The reason I’m leaving the house is this: the dog barks, the kids next door are unbearable, and I can't handle the sound of running water.'"

Ethel did not check his babbling. She was aghast at the narrowness of the escape, and for a long time kept silence. At last she said: "Such a marvellous deliverance does make one believe in Providence."

Ethel didn’t interrupt his rambling. She was shocked at how close the escape had been, and for a long time, she stayed silent. Finally, she said: "Such an incredible rescue really makes you believe in Providence."

Mr. Lucas, who was still composing his letter to the landlord, did not reply.

Mr. Lucas, who was still writing his letter to the landlord, didn't respond.


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