This is a modern-English version of A Little Book of Christmas, originally written by Bangs, John Kendrick.
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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A LITTLE BOOK
OF CHRISTMAS

A LITTLE BOOK OF
CHRISTMAS
BY
WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY
ARTHUR E. BECHER
BOSTON
LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY
1912
A Little Book of Christmas
BY
WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY
ARTHUR E. BECHER
BOSTON
LITTLE, BROWN AND COMPANY
1912
Copyright, 1912,
By Little, Brown, and Company.
Copyright, 1912,
By Little, Brown and Company.
All rights reserved
Published, September, 1912
THE COLONIAL PRESS
C. H. SIMONDS & CO., BOSTON, U. S. A.
All rights reserved
Published, September, 1912
THE COLONIAL PRESS
C. H. SIMONDS & CO., BOSTON, U. S. A.
CONTENTS
PAGE | |
---|---|
The Conversion of Hetherington | 5 |
The Child Who Had Everything Except— | 47 |
Santa Claus and Little Billee | 87 |
The House of the Seven Santas | 129 |
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
"What are you doing?" he asked, drawing near | Frontispiece |
She stood with her eyes popping out of her head | PAGE 39 |
He thought it very strange that Santa Claus' hand should be so red and cold and rough | 91 |
One by one the prisoners of the night dropped in surreptitiously | 155 |
[1] A TOAST TO SANTA CLAUS
And despite all objections, won’t Follow logic's rules,
And notice in the things that are around The proof is by no means unclear,
I immediately cut that guy out,
And don't trust him.
We discover him in the very air We breathe every day—
Where politeness and kindness And love are united,
To give to sadness and worry
A bit of sunny weather.
Under the mistletoe,[2]
As sparkling as the starry skies All glowing in gold. We see him under pressure of
The hand of empathy,
And where there's any idea of love
He's pretty sure to be.
The top choice of all,
Who always does his part At life's grand celebration; The deserving holder of the crown
With which we crown the Saint.
A boost to his health, and down With those who say he isn't!
[4] THE CONVERSION OF HETHERINGTON
[5]I
HETHERINGTON wasn't half a bad sort of a fellow, but he had his peculiarities, most of which were the natural defects of a lack of imagination. He didn't believe in ghosts, or Santa Claus, or any of the thousands of other things that he hadn't seen with his own eyes, and as he walked home that rather chilly afternoon just before Christmas and found nearly every corner of the highway decorated with bogus Saints, wearing the shoddy regalia[6] of Kris-Kringle, the sight made him a trifle irritable. He had had a fairly good luncheon that day, one indeed that ought to have mellowed his disposition materially, but which somehow or other had not so resulted. In fact, Hetherington was in a state of raspy petulance that boded ill for his digestion, and when he had reached the corner of Forty-second Street and Fifth Avenue, the constant iteration and reiteration of these shivering figures of the god of the Yule had got on his nerves to such an extent as to make him aggressively quarrelsome. He had controlled the asperities of his soul tolerably well on the way uptown, but the remark of a small child on the highway, made to a hurrying[7] mother, as they passed a stalwart-looking replica of the idol of his Christmas dreams, banging away on a tambourine to attract attention to the iron pot before him, placed there to catch the pennies of the charitably inclined wayfarer—"Oh, mar, there's Sandy Claus now!"—was too much for him.
Hetherington wasn't a bad guy, but he had his quirks, most of which were just a product of his lack of imagination. He didn’t believe in ghosts, Santa Claus, or any of the countless other things he hadn’t seen with his own eyes. As he walked home that chilly afternoon just before Christmas and saw nearly every corner of the street filled with fake Saints wearing cheap Santa costumes[6], it made him a bit irritable. He had a pretty good lunch that day, one that should have improved his mood, but for some reason, it didn’t. In fact, Hetherington was in a grumpy state that was bad for his digestion, and when he got to the corner of Forty-second Street and Fifth Avenue, seeing those shivering figures representing the god of Christmas really got on his nerves and made him feel confrontational. He had managed to keep his irritability in check on the way uptown, but the comment of a small child on the street, directed at a rushing[7] mother as they passed a sturdy-looking version of the idol from his Christmas fantasies, who was banging on a tambourine to get attention for the pot in front of him to collect coins from kind-hearted passersby—"Oh, mom, there’s Santa Claus now!"—was too much for him.
"Tush! Nonsense!" ejaculated Hetherington, glowering at the shivering figure in the turkey-red robe. "The idea of filling children's minds up with such balderdash! Santa Claus, indeed! There isn't a genuine Santa Claus in the whole bogus bunch."
"Tush! Nonsense!" exclaimed Hetherington, glaring at the shivering figure in the bright red robe. "The idea of filling kids' heads with such nonsense! Santa Claus, really! There isn't a real Santa Claus in this whole fake lot."
The Saint on the corner banged his tambourine just under Hetherington's ear with just enough force to jar[8] loose the accumulated irascibility of the well-fed gentleman.
The Saint on the corner shook his tambourine right next to Hetherington's ear with enough force to shake loose the built-up irritation of the well-fed gentleman.
"This is a fine job for an able-bodied man like you!" said Hetherington with a sneer. "Why don't you go to work instead of helping to perpetuate this annual fake?"
"This is a great job for a capable guy like you!" Hetherington said with a sneer. "Why don't you get a real job instead of helping to keep this annual sham going?"
The Saint looked at him for a moment before replying.
The Saint stared at him for a moment before responding.
"Speakin' to me?" he said.
"Are you talking to me?" he said.
"Yes. I'm speaking to you," said Hetherington. "Here's the whole country perishing for the lack of labor, and in spite of that fact this town has broken out into a veritable rash of fake Santa Clauses—"
"Yes. I'm talking to you," said Hetherington. "The whole country is suffering because there's not enough workers, and despite that, this town has turned into a complete mess of fake Santa Clauses—"
"That'll do for you!" retorted Santa Claus. "It's easy enough for a feller with a stomach full o' victuals[9] and plenty of warm clothes on his back to jump on a hard-workin' feller like me—"
"That'll do for you!" replied Santa Claus. "It's pretty easy for someone with a belly full of food[9] and a lot of warm clothes on his back to go after a hard-working guy like me—"
"Hard-working?" echoed Hetherington. "I like that! You don't call loafing on a street corner this way all day long hard work, do you?"
"Hard-working?" Hetherington echoed. "I like that! You don’t really think hanging out on a street corner all day counts as hard work, do you?"
He rather liked the man's spirit, despite his objection to his occupation.
He liked the man's energy, even though he disagreed with his job.
"Suppose you try it once and find out," retorted Santa Claus, blowing on his bluish fingers in an effort to restore their clogged-up circulation. "I guess if you tried a job like this just once, standin' out in the cold from eight in the mornin' to ten at night, with nothin' but a cup o' coffee and a ham-sandwich inside o' you—"
"Why don't you give it a shot and see for yourself?" Santa Claus replied, blowing on his cold fingers to get the circulation going again. "I bet if you did a gig like this just once, standing out in the cold from 8 in the morning to 10 at night, with nothing but a cup of coffee and a ham sandwich in you—"
"What's that?" cried Hetherington,[10] aghast. "Is that all you've had to eat to-day?"
"What's that?" shouted Hetherington,[10] shocked. "Is that all you've eaten today?"
"That's all," said the Saint, as he turned to his work with the tambourine. "Try it once, mister, and maybe you won't feel so cock-sure about its not bein' work. If you're half the sport you think you are just take my place for a couple of hours."
"That’s it," said the Saint, as he got back to his work with the tambourine. "Give it a shot, man, and maybe you won’t feel so overly confident about it not being work. If you’re half the sport you think you are, just take my place for a couple of hours."
An appeal to his sporting instinct was never lost on Hetherington.
Hetherington was always aware of how to appeal to his competitive side.
"By George!" he cried. "I'll go you. I'll swap coats with you, and while you're filling your stomach up I'll take your place, all right."
"By George!" he exclaimed. "I'm in. I'll trade coats with you, and while you're chowing down, I'll take your spot, okay?"
"What'll I fill me stomach up with?" demanded the man. "I don't look like a feller with a meal-ticket in his pocket, do I?"
"What am I supposed to fill my stomach with?" the man asked. "I don’t look like someone who has a meal ticket in his pocket, do I?"
[11] "I'll take care of that," said Hetherington, taking out a roll of bills and peeling off a two-dollar note from the outside. "There—you take that and blow yourself, and I'll take care of the kitty here till you come back."
[11] "I'll handle that," said Hetherington, pulling out a stack of cash and taking a two-dollar bill from the top. "Here—you take this and treat yourself, and I'll look after the cash here until you return."
The exchange of externals was not long in accomplishment. The gathering of the shadows of night made it a comparatively easy matter to arrange behind a conveniently stalled and heavily laden express wagon hard by, and in a few moments the irascible but still "sporty" Hetherington, who from childhood up to the present had never been able to take a dare, found himself banging away on a tambourine and incidentally shivering in the poor red habiliments of a fraudulent Saint. For[12] a half-hour the novelty of his position gave him a certain thrill, and no Santa Claus in town that night fulfilled his duties more vociferously than did Hetherington; but as time passed on, and the chill of a windy corner began to penetrate his bones, to say nothing of the frosty condition of his ears, which his false cotton whiskers but indifferently protected, he began to tire of his bargain.
The exchange of appearances didn’t take long to happen. As night fell, it became fairly easy to set up behind a conveniently parked and heavily loaded express wagon nearby. In just a few moments, the irritable but still "sporty" Hetherington, who had never been able to turn down a challenge since childhood, found himself banging on a tambourine while shivering in the shabby red outfit of a fake Santa Claus. For[12] about half an hour, the novelty of his situation gave him a thrill, and no Santa Claus in town that night was more boisterous in his duties than Hetherington; but as time went on, and the chill from a windy corner started to seep into his bones, not to mention the freezing condition of his ears that his fake cotton beard barely protected, he began to regret his choice.
"Gosh!" he muttered to himself, as it began to snow, and certain passing truckmen hurled the same kind of guying comments at him as had been more or less in his mind whenever he had passed a fellow-Santa-Claus on his way up-town, "if General Sherman were here he'd find a twin-brother[13] to War! I wish that cuss would come back."
"Gosh!" he muttered to himself as it started to snow, and some passing truck drivers tossed the same kind of teasing comments at him that he had often thought whenever he passed another Santa Claus on his way uptown, "If General Sherman were here, he'd find a twin brother to War! I wish that guy would come back."
He gazed eagerly up and down the street in the hope that the departed original would heave in sight, but in vain. A two-dollar meal evidently possessed attractions that he wished to linger over.
He looked eagerly up and down the street, hoping to catch a glimpse of the original who had left, but he had no luck. A two-dollar meal clearly had an appeal that he wanted to enjoy longer.
"Can't stand this much longer!" he muttered to himself, and then his eye caught sight of a group that filled his soul with dismay: two policemen and the struggling figure of one who appeared to have looked not wisely but too well upon the cup that cheers, the latter wearing Hetherington's overcoat and Hetherington's hat, but whose knees worked upon hinges of their own, double-back-action hinges that made[14] his legs of no use whatsoever, either to himself or to anybody else.
"Can't take this much longer!" he muttered to himself, and then he spotted a group that filled him with dread: two police officers and the struggling form of someone who seemed to have looked a little too closely at the drink that comforts, the latter wearing Hetherington's overcoat and hat, but whose knees moved like they were on some kind of malfunctioning hinges, making[14] his legs completely useless, both to himself and to anyone else.
"Hi there!" Hetherington cried out, as the group passed up the street on the way to the station-house. "That fellow's got my overcoat—"
"Hey there!" Hetherington shouted, as the group walked up the street toward the station. "That guy's got my overcoat—"
But the only reply Hetherington got was a sturdy poke in the ribs from the night-stick of the passing officer.
But the only response Hetherington received was a solid jab in the ribs from the nightstick of the passing officer.
"Well, I'll be jiggered!" growled Hetherington.
"Well, I'll be damned!" growled Hetherington.
[15]II
Ten minutes later a passing taxi was hailed by a shivering gentleman carrying an iron pot full of pennies and nickels and an occasional quarter in one hand, and a turkey-red coat, trimmed with white cotton cloth, thrown over his arm. Strange to say, considering the inclemency of the night, he wore neither a hat nor an overcoat.
Ten minutes later, a passing taxi was flagged down by a shivering man holding an iron pot filled with pennies and nickels and an occasional quarter in one hand, while a turkey-red coat, edged with white cotton cloth, was draped over his arm. Strangely, given how cold it was that night, he wasn’t wearing a hat or an overcoat.
"Where to, sir?" queried the chauffeur.
"Where to, sir?" asked the driver.
"The police-station," said Hetherington. "I don't know where it is, but the one in this precinct is the one I want."
"The police station," said Hetherington. "I’m not sure where it is, but I want the one in this precinct."
"Ye'll have to pay by the hour to-night,[16] sir," said the chauffeur. "The station ain't a half-mile away, sir, but Heaven knows how long it'll take us to get there."
"You'll have to pay by the hour tonight,[16] sir," said the chauffeur. "The station isn't even half a mile away, sir, but who knows how long it will take us to get there."
"Charge what you please," retorted Hetherington. "I'll buy your darned old machine if it's necessary, only get a move on."
"Charge whatever you want," Hetherington shot back. "I'll buy your stupid old machine if I have to, just hurry up."
The chauffeur, with some misgivings as to the mental integrity of his fare, started on their perilous journey, and three-quarters of an hour later drew up in front of the police-station, where Hetherington, having been compelled in self-defense to resume the habiliments of Santa Claus under penalty of freezing, alighted.
The driver, feeling a bit uncertain about his passenger's state of mind, began their risky journey, and about forty-five minutes later, stopped in front of the police station. Hetherington, having had to put on the Santa Claus outfit again to avoid freezing, got out.
"Just wait, will you?" he said, as he alighted from the cab.
"Just wait, okay?" he said, as he got out of the cab.
[17] "I'll go in with you," said the chauffeur, acting with due caution. He had begun to fear that there was a fair chance of his having trouble getting his fare out of a very evident lunatic.
[17] "I'll go in with you," said the driver, being careful. He had started to worry that there was a good chance he would have a hard time getting his passenger out of what was clearly a crazy person.
Utterly forgetful of his appearance in his festal array, Hetherington bustled into the station, and shortly found himself standing before the sergeant behind the desk.
Utterly oblivious to how he looked in his festive outfit, Hetherington hurried into the station and soon found himself standing in front of the sergeant at the desk.
"Well, Santa Claus," said the official, with an amused glance at the intruder, "what can I do for you to-night? There ain't many rooms with a bath left."
"Well, Santa Claus," said the official, with a playful look at the intruder, "what can I do for you tonight? There aren’t many rooms with a bathroom available."
Hetherington flushed. He had intended to greet the sergeant with his most imposing manner, but this turkey-red[18] abomination on his back had thrust dignity out in the cold.
Hetherington turned red. He had planned to greet the sergeant with his most commanding demeanor, but this bright red[18] disaster on his back had ruined any sense of dignity.
"I have come, officer," he said, as impressively as he could under the circumstances, "to make some inquiries concerning a man who was brought here about an hour ago—I fear in a state of intoxication."
"I've arrived, officer," he said, doing his best to sound serious given the situation, "to ask a few questions about a man who was brought in here about an hour ago—I’m afraid he was intoxicated."
"We have known such things to happen here, Santa," said the officer, suavely. "In fact, this blotter here seems to indicate that one George W. Hetherington, of 561 Fifth Avenue—"
"We've seen things like this happen here, Santa," the officer said smoothly. "Actually, this report here suggests that one George W. Hetherington, of 561 Fifth Avenue—"
"Who?" roared Hetherington.
"Who?" shouted Hetherington.
"George W. Hetherington is the name on the blotter," said the sergeant; "entered first as a D. D., but on investigation found to be suffering from—"
"George W. Hetherington is the name on the blotter," the sergeant said; "first entered as a D. D., but upon investigation found to be suffering from—"
[19] "But that's my name!" cried Hetherington. "You don't mean to tell me he claimed to be George W. Hetherington?"
[19] "But that's my name!" shouted Hetherington. "You can't be serious—he said he was George W. Hetherington?"
"No," said the sergeant. "The poor devil didn't make any claims for himself at all. We found that name on a card in his hat, and a letter addressed to the same name in his overcoat pocket. Puttin' the two together we thought it was a good enough identification."
"No," said the sergeant. "The poor guy didn't make any claims for himself at all. We found that name on a card in his hat, and a letter addressed to the same name in his overcoat pocket. Putting the two together, we thought it was a good enough identification."
"Well, I'll have you to understand, sergeant—" bristled Hetherington, cockily.
"Well, just so you know, sergeant—" snapped Hetherington, confidently.
"None o' that, Santa Claus—none o' that!" growled the sergeant, leaning over the desk and eying him coldly. "I don't know what game[20] you're up to, but just one more peep in that tone and there'll be two George W. Hetheringtons in the cooler this night."
"None of that, Santa Claus—none of that!" the sergeant grumbled, leaning over the desk and staring at him coldly. "I don't know what game[20] you're playing, but if you speak to me like that one more time, there'll be two George W. Hetheringtons in the fridge tonight."
Hetherington almost tore the Santa Claus garb from his shoulders, and revealed himself as a personage of fine raiment underneath, whatever he might have appeared at a superficial glance. As he did so a crumpled piece of paper fell to the floor from the pocket of the turkey-red coat.
Hetherington nearly ripped off the Santa Claus outfit he was wearing and showed himself to be someone dressed in fine clothes underneath, despite how he might have looked at first glance. As he did this, a crumpled piece of paper fell to the floor from the pocket of his bright red coat.
"I don't mean to do anything but what is right, sergeant," he said, controlling his wrath, "but what I do want is to impress it upon your mind that I am George W. Hetherington, and that having my name spread on the blotter of a police court isn't going[21] to do me any good. I loaned that fellow my hat and coat to get a square meal, while I took his place—"
"I only want to do what's right, sergeant," he said, keeping his anger in check. "But I need you to understand that I am George W. Hetherington, and having my name listed in a police court isn't going[21] to help me at all. I lent that guy my hat and coat so he could get a decent meal while I took his spot—"
The officer grinned broadly, but with no assurance in his smile that he believed.
The officer smiled widely, but there was no confidence in his smile that indicated he truly believed.
"Oh, you may not believe it," said Hetherington, "but it's true, and if this thing gets into the papers to-morrow morning—"
"Oh, you might not believe it," said Hetherington, "but it's true, and if this gets into the news tomorrow morning—"
"Say, Larry," said the sergeant, addressing an officer off duty, "did the reporters copy that letter we found in Hetherington's pocket?"
"Hey, Larry," said the sergeant, talking to an off-duty officer, "did the reporters copy that letter we found in Hetherington's pocket?"
"Reporters?" gasped Hetherington. "Good Lord, man—yuh-you don't mum-mean to say yuh-you let the reporters—"
"Reporters?" gasped Hetherington. "Good Lord, man—you don’t mean to say you let the reporters—"
"No, chief," replied Larry. "They[22] ain't been in yet—I t'ink ye shoved it inter yer desk."
"No, chief," replied Larry. "They[22] haven't come in yet—I think you put it in your desk."
"So I did, so I did," grinned the sergeant. Here he opened the drawer in front of him and extracted a pretty little blue envelope which Hetherington immediately recognized as a particularly private and confidential communication from—well, somebody. This is not a cherchez la femme story, so we will leave the lady's name out of it altogether. It must be noted, however, that a sight of that dainty missive in the great red fist of the sergeant gave Hetherington a heart action that fifty packages of cigarettes a day could hardly inflict upon a less healthy man.
"So I did, so I did," the sergeant grinned. He opened the drawer in front of him and pulled out a cute little blue envelope that Hetherington immediately recognized as a very private and confidential message from—well, someone. This isn’t a cherchez la femme story, so we’ll skip the lady’s name entirely. It should be noted, though, that seeing that delicate letter in the sergeant’s large red hand triggered a reaction in Hetherington’s heart that fifty packs of cigarettes a day could hardly cause in a less healthy man.
"That's the proof—" cried Hetherington,[23] excitedly. "If that don't prove it's my overcoat nothing will."
"That's the proof—" shouted Hetherington,[23] excitedly. "If that doesn't prove it's my overcoat, nothing will."
"Right you are, Santa Claus," said the sergeant, opening the envelope and taking out the delicately scented sheet of paper within. "I'll give you two guesses at the name signed to this, and if you get it right once I'll give you the coat, and Mr. Hetherington Number One in our evening's consignment of Hetheringtons gets re-christened."
"You're absolutely right, Santa Claus," said the sergeant, opening the envelope and pulling out the delicately scented sheet of paper inside. "I'll let you guess the name signed on this twice, and if you get it right just once, I'll give you the coat, and Mr. Hetherington Number One in tonight's batch of Hetheringtons gets a new name."
"'Anita'!" growled Hetherington.
"'Anita'!" growled Hetherington.
"You win!" said the sergeant, handing over the letter.
"You win!" the sergeant said, passing the letter over.
Hetherington drew a long sigh of relief.
Hetherington let out a long sigh of relief.
"I guess this is worth cigars for the house, sergeant," he said. "I'll[24] send 'em round to-morrow—meanwhile, how about—how about the other?"
"I guess this is worth cigars for the house, sergeant," he said. "I'll[24] send them around tomorrow—meanwhile, what about—what about the other?"
"He's gone to the hospital," said the sergeant, grimly. "The doctor says he wasn't drunk—just another case of freezing starvation."
"He's gone to the hospital," the sergeant said grimly. "The doctor says he wasn't drunk—just another case of freezing starvation."
"Starvation? And I guyed him! Great God!" muttered Hetherington to himself.
"Starvation? And I made fun of him! Oh my God!" Hetherington muttered to himself.
[25]III
"Narrow escape, Mr. Hetherington," said the sergeant. "Ought to be a lesson to you sports. What was your game, anyhow?"
"Narrow escape, Mr. Hetherington," said the sergeant. "That should be a lesson for you guys. What were you up to, anyway?"
"Oh, it wasn't any game—" began Hetherington.
"Oh, it wasn't a game—" began Hetherington.
"Huh! Just a case of too much lunch, eh?" said the officer. "You'd had as much too much as the other feller'd had too little—that it?"
"Huh! Just a bit too much lunch, right?" said the officer. "You’ve had as much too much as the other guy had too little—am I right?"
"No," said Hetherington. "Just a general lack of confidence in my fellow-men, plus a cussed habit of butting into matters that aren't any of my business; but I'm glad I butted in,[26] just the same, if I can be of any earthly use to that poor devil of a Santa Claus. Do you suppose there's any way to find out who he is?"
"No," said Hetherington. "It's just a general lack of trust in people, along with a frustrating tendency to interfere in things that aren’t my concern; but I'm still glad I got involved,[26] if I can do anything to help that poor guy who's playing Santa Claus. Do you think there's any way to figure out who he is?"
"Well, we've made a good start, anyhow," said the sergeant. "We've found out who he isn't. When he comes to in the mornin', if he does, maybe he'll be able to help us identify him."
"Well, we’ve made a decent start, at least," said the sergeant. "We’ve discovered who he isn’t. When he wakes up in the morning, if he does, maybe he’ll be able to help us identify him."
"To-morrow!" murmured Hetherington. "And who knows but he's got a family waiting for him somewhere right now, and as badly off as he is."
"Tomorrow!" muttered Hetherington. "And who knows, maybe he has a family waiting for him somewhere right now, just as much in need as he is."
"Ye dropped this, sir," said Larry, the officer off duty. "It come out of the red coat—mebbe it'll help—"
"Hey, you dropped this, sir," said Larry, the off-duty officer. "It fell out of the red coat—maybe it’ll help—"
He handed Hetherington the[27] crumpled piece of paper that had fallen to the floor when he tore Santa Claus's cloak from his back. It was sadly dirty, but on one side of it was a childish scrawl in pencil. Hetherington ran over it rapidly, and gulped.
He handed Hetherington the[27] crumpled piece of paper that had dropped to the floor when he ripped Santa Claus's cloak off his back. It was pretty dirty, but one side had a childlike scrawl in pencil. Hetherington quickly read over it and swallowed hard.
"Read that, sergeant!" he said, huskily.
"Read that, Sergeant!" he said, hoarsely.
The sergeant read the following:
The sergeant read this:
""DEAR SANDY CLORS:—my Popper says hell hand you this here leter when he sees you to ast you not to fergit me and jimmy like you did last yeer. you aint been to see me an jimmy since popper lost his Jobb and he says its becoz you lost our adres so ime ritin to tell you weve moved since you come the lass time and am now livin now on the Topp flor of fore 69 varrick streete[28] noo york which youd ort not to find it hard to git down the chimbley bein on the topp flor closte to the roofe so i thort ide rite and tell you what me and jimmyd like to hav you bring us wenn you come. I nede some noo shues and a hatt and my lasst dol babys all wore out and sum candy if you can work it in sumhow, not havin had much since popper lost his jobb, and jimmies only gott one mitt left and his shues is wore throo like mine is only a little worser, and a baseball batt and hed like sum candy to. if there wass anything lefft ovvur for us from lass crissmis wich you dident kno ware to find us to giv it to us we wuddent mind havin that two but you needent mind about that if its misslayde we can git along all rite all rite on whot ive sed alreddy. ime leven and jimmies nine and we hope youl hav[29] a mery crismiss like wede hav if youd come to see us.
"DEAR SANDY CLORS:—My dad says he'll give you this letter when he sees you to remind you not to forget me and Jimmy like you did last year. You haven't visited us since Dad lost his job, and he says it's because you lost our address, so I'm writing to let you know we've moved since your last visit. We are now living on the top floor of 69 Varick Street[28] in New York, which shouldn’t be hard to access from the chimney since it's on the top floor near the roof. I thought I’d write and tell you what Jimmy and I would like you to bring us when you come. I need some new shoes and a hat, and my last doll is worn out, along with some candy if you can fit it in, since we haven’t had much since Dad lost his job. Jimmy’s only got one mitt left, and his shoes are more worn out than mine, plus he needs a baseball bat, and he’d like some candy too. If there's anything left over from last Christmas that you didn’t get to give us because you couldn’t find us, we wouldn’t mind having that as well, but don’t worry if it’s misplaced; we can get along just fine with what I've already mentioned. I’m eleven and Jimmy’s nine, and we hope you'll have[29] a Merry Christmas like we’d have if you came to see us."
"yure efexinite frend mary muligan.
"your affectionate friend, Mary Muligan.
"p. s dont fergit the adres topp flor 469 varrick strete noo york. take back chimbley middel floo."
"p.s. don't forget the address, top floor, 69 Varick Street, New York. It’s easier to access from the chimney, middle floor."
"I'm sorry to say, Mr. Hetherington," said the sergeant, clearing his throat with vociferous unction, "that the town's full of Mary and Jimmie Mulligans—but, anyhow, I guess this is good enough evidence for me to scratch out your name and enter the record under James Mulligan."
"I'm sorry to say, Mr. Hetherington," the sergeant said, clearing his throat dramatically, "that the town's full of Mary and Jimmie Mulligans—but anyway, I guess this is good enough evidence for me to remove your name and record it as James Mulligan."
"Thank you, sergeant," said Hetherington, gratefully. "And it's good enough evidence for me that this town needs a Santa Claus a blooming sight[30] more than I thought it did. What time is it?"
"Thanks, sergeant," said Hetherington, feeling grateful. "And it's clear to me that this town needs a Santa Claus a lot more than I realized. What time is it?"
"Seven-thirty," replied the sergeant.
"7:30," replied the sergeant.
"Good!" said Hetherington. "Shops don't close till ten—I guess I've got time. Good night—see you first thing in the morning. Come along, chauffeur, I'll need you for some time yet."
"Great!" said Hetherington. "Shops don’t close until ten—I think I have time. Good night—I'll see you first thing in the morning. Come on, driver, I’m going to need you for a while longer."
"Good night, Mr. Hetherington," said the sergeant. "Where are you bound in case I need you any time?"
"Good night, Mr. Hetherington," said the sergeant. "Where are you headed in case I need you at any point?"
"Me?" said Hetherington with a grin, "why, my address is 561 Fifth Avenue, but just now I'm off to do my Christmas shopping early."
"Me?" said Hetherington with a grin, "Well, my address is 561 Fifth Avenue, but right now I'm heading out to do my Christmas shopping early."
And resuming possession of his own hat and overcoat, and taking the Santa[31] Claus costume under his arm, Hetherington passed out, the chauffeur following.
And taking back his hat and coat, and grabbing the Santa[31] Claus costume under his arm, Hetherington walked out, with the chauffeur right behind him.
"These New York sports is a queer bunch!" said the sergeant as Hetherington disappeared.
"These New York sports are a strange group!" said the sergeant as Hetherington disappeared.
[32]IV
At half-past nine down-town was pretty well deserted, which made it easy for the chauffeur of a certain red taxi-cab to make fairly good time down Broadway; and when at nine-forty-five the panting mechanism drew up before the grim walls of a brick tenement, numbered 469 Varick Street, the man on the box was commendably proud of his record.
At 9:30, downtown was mostly empty, which allowed the driver of a red taxi to get through Broadway pretty quickly. When he arrived at 9:45, breathing heavily from the drive, in front of the dark brick tenement at 469 Varick Street, he felt proud of his time.
"That was goin' some, sir," he said, with a broad grin on his face. "I don't believe it's ever been done quicker outside o' the fire department."
"That was impressive, sir," he said, with a big grin on his face. "I don't think it's ever been done faster outside of the fire department."
"I don't believe it has, old man," said Hetherington as he alighted.[33] "Now if you'll help me up-stairs with these packages and that basket there, we'll bring this affair to a grand-stand finish."
"I don't think it has, old man," said Hetherington as he got out.[33] "Now if you'll help me carry these packages and that basket upstairs, we'll wrap this up nicely."
The two men toiled slowly up the stairs, Hetherington puffing somewhat with the long climb; and when finally they had reached the top floor he arrayed himself in the once despised garb of Santa Claus again. Then he knocked at the door. The answer was immediate. A white-faced woman opened the door.
The two men climbed the stairs slowly, with Hetherington panting a bit from the long ascent; and when they finally reached the top floor, he put on the once-mocked outfit of Santa Claus once more. Then he knocked on the door. The response was instant. A pale-faced woman opened the door.
"Jim!" she cried. "Is it you?"
"Jim!" she shouted. "Is that you?"
"No, madam," replied Hetherington. "It's a friend of Jim's. Fact is, Mrs. Mulligan, Jim has—"
"No, ma'am," replied Hetherington. "It's a friend of Jim's. The truth is, Mrs. Mulligan, Jim has—"
"There's nothin' happened to Jim, has there?" she interrupted.
"Nothing has happened to Jim, right?" she interrupted.
[34] "Nothing at all, madam, nothing at all," said Hetherington. "The work was a little too much for him to-day—that's all—and he keeled over. He's safe, and comfortable in the—well, they took him to the hospital, but don't you worry—he'll be all right in a day or two, and meanwhile I'm going to look after you and the kiddies."
[34] "Nothing at all, ma'am, nothing at all," Hetherington said. "The work was just a bit too much for him today—that's it—and he passed out. He's fine and resting in the—well, they took him to the hospital, but don't worry—he'll be okay in a day or two, and in the meantime, I'll look after you and the kids."
The chauffeur placed the basket inside the door.
The driver put the basket inside the door.
"You'll find a small turkey, and some—er—some fixings in it, Mrs. Mulligan," said Hetherington. "Whatever ought to go with a turkey should be there, and—er—have the kiddies gone to bed?"
"You'll find a small turkey and some—uh—some side dishes with it, Mrs. Mulligan," Hetherington said. "Whatever should go with a turkey should be there, and—uh—have the kids gone to bed?"
"Poor little souls, they have," said the woman.
"Those poor little souls, they really do," said the woman.
[35] "Well, just you tell 'em for me," said Hetherington, "that Santa Claus received little Mary's letter, will you, please? And—er—and if they don't mind a very late call like this, why I'd like to see them."
[35] "Make sure to let them know for me," Hetherington said, "that Santa Claus got little Mary's letter, okay? And—uh—if they don't mind a very late visit like this, I’d love to see them."
The woman looked anxiously into Hetherington's eyes for a moment, and then she tottered and sat down.
The woman gazed nervously into Hetherington's eyes for a moment, and then she wobbled and sat down.
"You're sure there's nothin' the matter with Jim, sir?" she asked.
"Are you sure there's nothing wrong with Jim, sir?" she asked.
"Absolutely, Mrs. Mulligan," Hetherington answered. "It's exactly as I have told you. The cold and hunger were too much for him, but he's all right, and I'll guarantee to have him back here inside of forty-eight hours."
"Of course, Mrs. Mulligan," Hetherington replied. "It's exactly as I've said. The cold and hunger were overwhelming for him, but he's fine, and I promise to have him back here within forty-eight hours."
Two wide-eyed youngsters shortly stood in awed wonder before their strange visitor, never doubting for a moment that he was Santa Claus himself.
Two wide-eyed kids quickly stood in awe before their strange visitor, never doubting for a second that he was Santa Claus himself.
"How do you do, Miss Mulligan?" said Hetherington, with a courtly bow to the little tot of a girl. "I received your letter this afternoon, and was mighty glad to hear from you again, but I've been too busy all day to write you in return, so I thought I'd call and tell you that it's all right about those shoes, and the hat, and the new doll-baby, and the things for Jimmie. Fact is, I've brought 'em with me. Reginald," he added, turning to the[37] chauffeur, who stood grinning in the doorway, "just unfasten that bundle of shoes, will you, while I get Jimmie's new mitts and the base-ball bat?"
"How are you, Miss Mulligan?" said Hetherington, bowing politely to the little girl. "I got your letter this afternoon, and I was really happy to hear from you again. I’ve been too busy all day to write you back, so I thought I’d stop by and let you know everything is fine about those shoes, the hat, the new doll, and the things for Jimmie. Actually, I brought them with me. Reginald," he added, turning to the[37] chauffeur, who was grinning in the doorway, "could you please unwrap that bundle of shoes while I grab Jimmie's new mitts and the baseball bat?"
"Yes, sir," said the chauffeur, suiting his action to the orders, and with a right good will that was pleasant to see.
"Yes, sir," said the driver, following the instructions with a genuine enthusiasm that was nice to see.
"Reginald is my assistant," said Santa Claus. "Couldn't get along without Reginald these days—very busy days they are—so many new kiddies in the world, you know. There, Jimmie—there's your bat. May you score many a home-run with it. Here's a ball, too—good thing to have a ball to practise with. Some day you'll be a Giant, perhaps, and help win the pennant. Incidentally, James, old boy,[38] there's a box of tin soldiers in this package, a bag of marbles, a select assortment of tops, and a fur coat; just try that cap on, and see if you can tell yourself from a Brownie."
"Reginald is my assistant," said Santa Claus. "I couldn’t manage without Reginald these days—things are really busy—so many new kids in the world, you know. There you go, Jimmie—there’s your bat. I hope you hit lots of home runs with it. Here’s a ball, too—it’s always good to have a ball to practice with. One day, you might be a Giant and help win the championship. By the way, James, my friend,[38] there’s a box of tin soldiers in this package, a bag of marbles, a nice selection of tops, and a fur coat; just try that cap on and see if you can tell yourself apart from a Brownie."
The children's eyes gleamed with joy, and Jimmie let out a cheer that would have aroused the envy of a college man.
The children's eyes sparkled with joy, and Jimmie shouted a cheer that would have made a college guy jealous.
"You didn't mention it in your note, Mary, dear," continued Santa Claus, turning to the little girl, "but I thought you might like to cook a few meals for this brand-new doll-baby of yours, so I brought along a little stove, with a few pots and pans and kettles and things, with a small china tea-set thrown in. This ought to enable you to set her up in housekeeping; and then when you go to school I have an idea you'll find this little red-riding-hood cloak rather nice—only it's navy blue instead of red, and it looks warm."
"You didn't mention it in your note, Mary, dear," Santa Claus said as he looked at the little girl, "but I thought you might enjoy cooking some meals for your brand-new doll, so I brought you a small stove, along with some pots, pans, and kettles, plus a little china tea set. This should help you get her all set up for housekeeping; and when you go to school, I think you'll find this little red-riding-hood cloak quite nice—though it's navy blue instead of red, and it looks warm."
[39] Hetherington placed the little cloak with its beautiful brass buttons and its warm hood over the little girl's shoulders, while she stood with her eyes popping out of her head, too delightedly entranced to be able to say a word of thanks.
[39] Hetherington put the little cloak with its beautiful brass buttons and cozy hood over the little girl's shoulders, while she stood there with her eyes wide open, so thrilled that she couldn't find the words to say thank you.
"Don't forget this, sir," said the chauffeur, handing Hetherington a package tied up in blue ribbons.
"Don't forget this, sir," said the driver, handing Hetherington a package wrapped in blue ribbons.
"And finally," said Hetherington, after thanking Reginald for the reminder, "here is a box of candy for everybody in the place. One for Mary,[40] one for Jimmie, one for mother, and one for popper when he comes home."
"And finally," said Hetherington, after thanking Reginald for the reminder, "here's a box of candy for everyone in the place. One for Mary,[40] one for Jimmie, one for mom, and one for dad when he comes home."
"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" cried the little girl, throwing herself into Hetherington's arms. "I knowed you'd come—I did, I did, I did!"
"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" exclaimed the little girl, jumping into Hetherington's arms. "I knew you'd come—I really did, I really did!"
"You believed in old Santa Claus, did you, babe?" said Hetherington, huskily, as the little girl's warm cheek pressed against his own.
"You really believed in old Santa Claus, didn't you, babe?" Hetherington said in a husky voice, as the little girl's warm cheek rested against his own.
"Yes, I did—always," said the little girl, "though Jimmie didn't."
"Yes, I always did," said the little girl, "even though Jimmie didn't."
"I did so!" retorted Jimmie, squatting on the floor and shooting a glass agate at a bunch of miggles across the room. "I swatted Petey Halloran on the eye on'y yesterday for sayin' they wasn't no such person."
"I did so!" shot back Jimmie, sitting on the floor and tossing a glass agate at a group of miggles across the room. "I smacked Petey Halloran in the eye just yesterday for saying there was no such person."
[41] "And you did well, my son," said Hetherington. "The man or boy that says there isn't any Santa Claus is a—is a—well, never you mind, but he is one just the same."
[41] "And you did great, my son," said Hetherington. "Anyone who says there isn't a Santa Claus is a—well, never mind, but they are one just the same."
And bidding his little friends good night, Hetherington, with the chauffeur close behind him, left them to the joys of the moment, with a cheerier dawn than they had known for many weary days to follow.
And saying goodnight to his little friends, Hetherington, with the chauffeur right behind him, left them to enjoy the moment, with a brighter morning ahead than they had experienced for many long days to come.
[42]V
"Good night, sir," said the chauffeur, as Hetherington paid him off and added a good-sized tip into the bargain. "I didn't useter believe in Santa Claus, sir, but I do now."
"Good night, sir," said the chauffeur, as Hetherington paid him and included a generous tip. "I didn’t used to believe in Santa Claus, sir, but I do now."
"So do I," said Hetherington, as he bade the other good night and lightly mounted the steps to his house.[43]
"Me too," said Hetherington, as he wished the other good night and casually climbed the steps to his house.[43]
A MERRY CHRISTMAS PIE
Season generously with Sympathy;
Boil it on the stove until
It is full of bubbling happiness.
Add a sprinkle of Cheer,
Mixed with Love and Care; Chill out in a vibe
That's mostly kindness.
Made from grapes harvested from Laughter's vine,
And the fruits you may gain In a totally cheerful way.
Make a batter using the cream. In great spirits, And you'll have an amazing dream
Of a Merry Christmas pie!
[45]
[46]
[47]
THE CHILD WHO HAD EVERYTHING BUT—
I
I KNEW it was coming long before it got there. Every symptom was in sight. I had grown fidgety, and sat fearful of something overpoweringly impending. Strange noises filled the house. Things generally, according to their nature, severally creaked, soughed and moaned. There was a ghost on the way. That was perfectly clear to an expert in uncanny visitations of my wide experience, and I heartily wished it were not. There was a time when I[48] welcomed such visitors with open arms, because there was a decided demand for them in the literary market, and I had been able to turn a great variety of spooks into anywhere from three thousand to five thousand words apiece at five cents a word, but now the age had grown too sceptical to swallow ghostly reminiscence with any degree of satisfaction. People had grown tired of hearing about Visions, and desired that their tales should reek with the scent of gasoline, quiver with the superfervid fever of tangential loves, and crash with moral thunderbolts aimed against malefactors of great achievement and high social and commercial standing. Wherefore it seemed an egregious waste of time for[49] me to dally with a spook, or with anything else, for that matter, that had no strictly utilitarian value to one so professionally pressed as I was, and especially at a moment like that—it was Christmas morning and the hour was twenty-eight minutes after two—when I was so busy preparing my Ode to June, and trying to work out the details of a midsummer romance in time for the market for such productions early in the coming January.
I knew it was coming long before it arrived. Every symptom was clear. I had become restless and was anxious about something overwhelming approaching. Strange noises filled the house. Things creaked, sighed, and moaned according to their nature. A ghost was on the way. That was perfectly obvious to someone with my extensive experience in weird encounters, and I genuinely wished it weren't the case. There was a time when I welcomed such visitors with open arms because there was a strong demand for them in the literary market, and I could turn a wide variety of ghosts into anywhere from three thousand to five thousand words each at five cents a word, but now the world had become too skeptical to enjoy ghostly tales with any satisfaction. People had grown tired of hearing about visions and wanted their stories to smell like gasoline, buzz with the intense heat of complicated romances, and strike with moral outrage against the wrongdoers of great success and high social standing. Therefore, it seemed like a ridiculous waste of time for me to deal with a ghost, or with anything else that didn't provide practical value to someone as busy as I was, especially at a moment like that—it was Christmas morning, and the time was twenty-eight minutes past two—when I was so occupied preparing my Ode to June and trying to work out the details of a midsummer romance in time for the market for such pieces early in the coming January.
And right in the midst of all this pressure there rose up these beastly symptoms of an impending visitation. At first I strove to fight them off, but as the minutes passed they became so obsessively intrusive that I could not[50] concentrate upon the work in hand, and I resolved to have it over with.
And right in the middle of all this pressure, these intense symptoms of an approaching issue started to show up. At first, I tried to push them away, but as the minutes went by, they became so overwhelmingly distracting that I couldn’t[50] focus on the task at hand, and I decided to just deal with it.
"Oh, well," said I, striking a few impatient chords upon my typewriting machine, "if you insist upon coming, come, and let's have done with it."
"Oh, fine," I said, tapping some impatient keys on my typewriter, "if you really want to come, then come on, and let’s get this over with."
I roared this out, addressing the dim depths of the adjoining apartment, whence had risen the first dank apprehension of the uncanny something that had come to pester me.
I shouted this out, speaking to the dark corners of the neighboring apartment, where the first unsettling feeling of the strange presence that had begun to bother me had emerged.
"This is my busy night," I went on, when nothing happened in response to my summons, "and I give you fair warning that, however psychic I may be now, I've got too much to do to stay so much longer. If you're going to haunt, haunt!"
"This is my busy night," I continued, when nothing happened after my call, "and I’m letting you know that, no matter how psychic I might be right now, I have too much to do to stick around much longer. If you're going to haunt, then haunt!"
It was in response to this appeal that[51] the thing first manifested itself to the eye. It took the shape first of a very slight veil of green fog, which shortly began to swirl slowly from the darkness of the other room through the intervening portières into my den. Once within, it increased the vigor of its swirl, until almost before I knew it there was spinning immediately before my desk something in the nature of a misty maelstrom, buzzing around like a pin-wheel in action.
It was in response to this request that[51] the thing first appeared. At first, it looked like a thin veil of green fog, which soon began to swirl slowly from the dark room through the curtains into my office. Once inside, it intensified its swirling motion, and almost before I realized it, there was a spinning misty whirlpool right in front of my desk, buzzing like a pinwheel in motion.
"Very pretty—very pretty indeed," said I, a trifle sarcastically, refusing to be impressed, "but I don't care for pyrotechnics. I suppose," I added flippantly, "that you are what might be called a mince-pyrotechnic, eh?"
"Really beautiful—really beautiful for sure," I said, a bit sarcastically, not wanting to be impressed, "but I'm not into fireworks. I guess," I added casually, "you could say you're what we might call a fancy-firework, right?"
[52] Whether it was the quality of my jest, or some other inward pang due to its gyratory behavior, that caused it I know not, but as I spoke a deep groan issued from the centre of the whirling mist, and then out of its indeterminateness there was resolved the hazy figure of an angel—only, she was an intensely modern angel. She wore a hobble-skirt instead of the usual flowing robes of ladies of the supernal order, and her halo, instead of hovering over her head as used to be the correct manner of wearing these hard-won adornments, had perforce become a mere golden fillet binding together the great mass of finger-curls and other distinctly yellow capillary attractions that stretched out from the back[53] of her cerebellum for two or three feet, like a monumental psyche-knot. I could hardly restrain a shudder as I realized the theatric quality of the lady's appearance, and I honestly dreaded the possible consequences of her visit. We live in a tolerably censorious age, and I did not care to be seen in the company of such a peroxidized vision as she appeared to be.
[52] I’m not sure if it was the quality of my joke or some inner discomfort from its spinning nature, but as I spoke, a deep groan came from the center of the swirling mist. Then, out of its ambiguity, a hazy figure of an angel appeared—except she was a really modern angel. She wore a hobble skirt instead of the usual flowing robes of angelic beings, and her halo, instead of floating above her head as was traditionally correct, had become just a simple gold band that held together the huge mass of curled hair and other distinctly yellow hair extensions that flowed from the back[53] of her head for two or three feet, like a gigantic hairstyle knot. I could hardly suppress a shudder as I recognized the theatrical nature of her appearance, and I genuinely feared the possible outcomes of her visit. We live in a pretty judgmental time, and I wasn’t keen on being seen with such an overly blonde figure as she seemed to be.
"I am afraid, madam," said I, shrinking back against the wall as she approached—"I am very much afraid that you have got into the wrong house. Mr. Slatherberry, the theatrical manager, lives next door."
"I’m sorry, ma'am," I said, pressing myself against the wall as she got closer—"I’m really afraid you’re in the wrong house. Mr. Slatherberry, the theater manager, lives next door."
She paid no attention to this observation, but, holding out a compelling hand, bade me come along with her, her[54] voice having about it all the musical charm of an oboe suffering from bronchitis.
She ignored this comment but, extending a beckoning hand, urged me to follow her, her[54] voice sounding like an oboe with a bad cold.
"Not in a year of Sundays I won't!" I retorted. "I am a respectable man, a steady church-goer, a trustee for several philanthropic institutions, and a Sunday-School teacher. I don't wish to be impolite, but really, madam, rich as I am in reputation, I am too poor to be seen in public with you."
"Not a chance in a million!" I shot back. "I'm a respectable person, I go to church regularly, I'm a trustee for a few charities, and I teach Sunday School. I don’t want to be rude, but honestly, ma’am, as rich as I am in reputation, I’m too poor to be seen in public with you."
"I am a spirit," she began.
"I am a spirit," she started.
"I'll take your word for it," I interjected, and I could see that she told the truth, for she was entirely diaphanous, so much so indeed that one could perceive the piano in the other room with perfect clarity through her intervening shadiness. "It is,[55] however, the unfortunate fact that I have sworn off spirits."
"I'll take your word for it," I said, and I could tell she was being honest, as she was completely transparent, so much so that you could clearly see the piano in the other room through her hazy appearance. "It is,[55] however, the unfortunate truth that I've given up drinking."
"None the less," she returned, her eye flashing and her hand held forth peremptorily, "you must come. It is your predestined doom."
"Even so," she replied, her eyes flashing and her hand extended firmly, "you have to come. It's your destined fate."
My next remark I am not wholly clear about, but, as I remember it, it sounded something like "I'll be doomed if I do!" whereupon she threatened me.
My next comment isn’t entirely clear to me, but as I recall, it went something like, "I’ll be doomed if I do!" and then she threatened me.
"It is useless to resist," she said. "If you decline to come voluntarily, I shall hypnotize you and force you to follow me. We have need of you."
"It’s pointless to resist," she said. "If you refuse to come willingly, I’ll hypnotize you and make you follow me. We need you."
"But, my dear lady," I pleaded, "please have some regard for my position. I never did any of you[56] spirits any harm. I've treated every visitor from the spirit-land with the most distinguished consideration, and I feel that you owe it to me to be regardful of my good name. Suppose you take a look at yourself in yonder looking-glass, and then say if you think it fair to compel a decent, law-abiding man, of domestic inclinations like myself, to be seen in public with—well, with such a looking head of hair as that of yours."
"But, my dear lady," I begged, "please consider my position. I’ve never harmed any of you[56] spirits. I’ve treated every visitor from the spirit world with the utmost respect, and I believe you owe it to me to be mindful of my reputation. Why don’t you take a look at yourself in that mirror over there, and then tell me if you think it’s fair to force a decent, law-abiding man like me, who has a respectable lifestyle, to be seen in public with—well, with such an unkempt hairstyle as yours."
My visitor laughed heartily.
My visitor laughed out loud.
"Oh, if that's all," she said, most amiably, "we can arrange matters in a jiffy. Your wife possesses a hooded mackintosh, does she not? I think I saw something of the kind hanging on the hat-rack as I floated in. I[57] will wear that if it will make you feel any easier."
"Oh, if that's all," she said, very kindly, "we can take care of that quickly. Your wife has a hooded raincoat, right? I think I saw something like that on the hat rack when I came in. I[57] will wear that if it will make you feel better."
"It certainly would," said I; "but see here—can't you scare up some other cavalier to escort you to the haven of your desires?"
"It definitely would," I said; "but look—can’t you find someone else to take you to the place you want to go?"
She fixed a sternly steady eye upon me for a moment.
She fixed a hard, steady gaze on me for a moment.
"Aren't you the man who wrote the lines,
"Aren't you the guy who wrote the lines,
And love rules over everything,
And life is the opportunity given to me
For Acts and Gifts of Kindness?
Didn't you write that?" she demanded.
"Didn't you write that?" she asked.
"I did, madam," said I, "and I meant every word of it, but what of it? Is that any reason why I should[58] be seen on a public highway with a lady-ghost of your especial kind?"
"I did, ma'am," I said, "and I meant every word, but so what? Is that any reason for me to[58] be seen on a public road with a lady ghost like you?"
"Enough of your objections," she retorted firmly. "You are the person for whom I have been sent. We have a case needing your immediate attention. The only question is, will you come pleasantly and of your own free will, or must I resort to extreme measures?"
"Enough of your excuses," she replied firmly. "You are the person I’ve been sent for. We have a situation that needs your immediate attention. The only question is, will you come willingly and cooperatively, or do I need to take drastic action?"
These words were spoken with such determination that I realized that further resistance was useless, and I yielded.
These words were spoken with such conviction that I realized further resistance was pointless, and I gave in.
"All right," said I. "On your way. I'll follow."
"Okay," I said. "Go ahead. I'll catch up."
"Good!" she cried, her face wreathing with a pleasant little nile-green smile. "Get the mackintosh, and[59] we'll be off. There's no time to lose," she added, as the clock in the tower on the square boomed out the hour of three.
"Great!" she exclaimed, her face brightening with a cheerful little pale green smile. "Grab the raincoat, and[59] we’ll head out. We have to hurry," she added, as the clock in the tower on the square struck three.
"What is this anyhow?" I demanded, as I helped her on with the mackintosh and saw that the hood covered every vestige of that awful coiffure. "Another case of Scrooge?"
"What is this, anyway?" I asked, as I helped her put on the raincoat and noticed that the hood covered up every trace of that terrible hairstyle. "Another case of Scrooge?"
"Sort of," she replied as, hooking her arm in mine, she led me forth into the night.
"Kind of," she said, linking her arm with mine as she guided me out into the night.
[60]II
We passed over to Fifth Avenue, and proceeded uptown at a pace which reminded me of the active gait of my youth. My footsteps had grown unwontedly light, and we covered the first ten blocks in about three minutes.
We crossed over to Fifth Avenue and walked uptown at a speed that reminded me of how I used to walk in my youth. My steps felt surprisingly light, and we made it through the first ten blocks in about three minutes.
"We don't seem to be headed for the slums," I panted.
"We don't look like we're going to the slums," I panted.
"Indeed, we are not," she retorted. "There is no need of carrying coals to Newcastle on this occasion. This isn't a slum case. It's far more acute than that."
"Definitely not," she shot back. "We don't need to carry coals to Newcastle this time. This isn't just a petty issue. It's much more serious than that."
A tear came forth from her eye and trickled down over the mackintosh.
A tear rolled down her cheek and ran over the raincoat.
[61] "It is a peculiarity of modern effort on behalf of suffering humanity," she went on, "that it is concentrated upon the relief of the misery of the so-called submerged, to the utter neglect of the often more poignant needs of the emerged. We have workers by the thousand in the slums, doing all that can be done, and successfully too, to relieve the unhappy condition of the poor, but nobody ever seems to think of the sorrows of the starving hundreds on upper Fifth Avenue."
[61] "It's interesting how modern efforts to help suffering people," she continued, "focus mainly on easing the struggles of the so-called submerged, while completely ignoring the often more intense needs of the emerged. There are thousands of workers in the slums doing everything they can to improve the terrible situation of the poor, and they’re successful too, but hardly anyone thinks about the struggles of the starving hundreds on upper Fifth Avenue."
"See here, madam," said I, stopping suddenly short under a lamp-post in front of the Public Library, "I want to tell you right now that if you think you are going to take me into any of the homes of the hopelessly rich at[62] this hour of the morning, you are the most mightily mistaken creature that ever wore a psyche-knot. Why, great heavens, my dear lady, suppose the owner of the house were to wake up and demand to know what I was doing there at this time of night? What could I say?"
"Look here, ma'am," I said, stopping abruptly under a streetlight in front of the Public Library, "I need to tell you right now that if you think I'm going to step into any of the homes of the ridiculously wealthy at[62] this early in the morning, you're seriously mistaken. I mean, good heavens, what if the owner of the house woke up and asked why I was there at this time of night? What would I even say?"
"You have gone on slumming parties, haven't you?" she demanded coldly.
"You've been to those slumming parties, right?" she asked coldly.
"Often," said I. "But that's different."
"Often," I said. "But that's different."
"Why?" she asked, with a simplicity that baffled me. "Is it any worse for you to intrude upon the home of a Fifth Avenue millionaire than it is to go unasked into the small, squalid tenement of some poor sweatshop worker on the East Side?"
"Why?" she asked, in a way that confused me. "Is it any worse for you to intrude on the home of a Fifth Avenue millionaire than it is to go uninvited into the small, shabby apartment of some poor sweatshop worker on the East Side?"
[63] "Oh, but it's different," I protested. "I go there to see if there is anything I can do to relieve the unhappy condition of the persons who live in the slums."
[63] "Oh, but it's not the same," I argued. "I go there to see if there's anything I can do to help improve the unfortunate situation of the people living in the slums."
"No doubt," said she. "I'll take your word for it, but is that any reason why you should neglect the sufferers who live in these marble palaces?"
"No doubt," she said. "I'll trust what you say, but does that mean you should ignore the people suffering in these marble palaces?"
As she spoke, she hooked hold of my arm once more, and in a moment we were climbing the front door steps of a palatial residence. The house showed a dark and forbidding front at that hour in the morning despite its marble splendors, and I was glad to note that the massive grille doors of wrought iron were heavily barred.
As she talked, she grabbed my arm again, and in no time we were climbing the steps to the front door of an impressive house. The place looked dark and intimidating at that early hour, even with its marble beauty, and I felt relieved to see that the huge wrought iron doors were locked up tight.
[64] "It's useless, you see. We're locked out," I ventured.
[64] "It's pointless, you know. We're stuck outside," I said.
"Indeed?" she retorted, with a sarcastic smile, as she seized my hand in her icy grip and literally pulled me after her through the marble front of the dwelling. "What have we to do with bolts and bars?"
"Really?" she shot back with a sarcastic smile, grabbing my hand in her cold grip and actually dragging me after her through the marble entrance of the house. "What do we have to do with locks and bars?"
"I don't know," said I ruefully, "but I have a notion that if I don't bolt I'll get the bars all right."
"I don't know," I said sadly, "but I have a feeling that if I don't run, I'll definitely end up behind bars."
I could see them coming, and they were headed straight for me.
I could see them approaching, and they were coming right towards me.
"All you have to do is to follow me," she went on, as we floated upward for two flights, paying but little attention to the treasures of art that lined the walls, and finally passed into a superbly lighted salon, more daintily[65] beautiful than anything of the kind I had ever seen before.
"All you need to do is follow me," she continued, as we floated up two flights, barely noticing the art treasures that adorned the walls, and finally entered a beautifully lit room, more delicate[65] lovely than anything I had ever seen before.
"Jove!" I ejaculated, standing amazed in the presence of such luxury and beauty. "I did not realize that with all her treasures New York held anything quite so fine as this. What is it, a music-room?"
"Wow!" I exclaimed, standing in awe of such luxury and beauty. "I didn't know that with all its treasures, New York had anything as wonderful as this. What is it, a music room?"
"It is the nursery," said my companion. "Look about you and see for yourself."
"It’s the nursery," my friend said. "Take a look around and see for yourself."
I did as I was bidden, and such an array of toys as that inspection revealed! Truly it looked as if the toy-market in all sections of the world had been levied upon for tribute. Had all the famous toy emporiums of Nuremberg itself been transported thither bodily, there could not have been playthings[66] in greater variety than there greeted my eye. From the most insignificant of tin-soldiers to the most intricate of mechanical toys for the delectation of the youthful mind, nothing that I could think of was missing.
I did what I was told, and the collection of toys I saw was unbelievable! It truly looked like the toy market from all over the world had been raided for its finest. If all the famous toy stores from Nuremberg had been brought there in one go, there couldn’t have been more variety of toys than what met my eyes. From the tiniest tin soldiers to the coolest mechanical toys designed for kids, there was nothing I could think of that was missing.
The tin-soldiers as ever had a fascination for me, and in an instant I was down upon the floor, ranging them in their serried ranks, while the face of my companion wreathed with an indulgent smile.
The tin soldiers have always fascinated me, and in an instant, I was on the floor, lining them up in their tight rows, while my friend's face broke into a tolerant smile.
"You'll do," said she, as I loaded a little spring-cannon with a stub of a lead-pencil and bowled over half a regiment with one well-directed shot.
"You'll do," she said, as I loaded a small spring-cannon with a stub of a pencil and knocked down half a regiment with one well-aimed shot.
"These are the finest tin-soldiers I ever saw!" I cried with enthusiasm.
"These are the best toy soldiers I've ever seen!" I exclaimed with excitement.
[67] "Only they're not tin," said she. "Solid silver, every man-jack of them—except the officers—they're made of platinum."
[67] "Well, they're not tin," she said. "They're all solid silver—every single one of them—except for the officers; those are made of platinum."
"And will you look at that little electric railroad!" I cried, my eye ranging to the other end of the salon. "Stations, switches, danger-signals, cars of all kinds, and even miniature Pullmans, with real little berths that can be let up and down—who is the lucky kid who's getting all these beautiful things?"
"And check out that little electric train set!" I exclaimed, my gaze wandering to the far end of the room. "There are stations, switches, warning signals, all sorts of cars, and even tiny Pullmans with real little sleeping berths that can be raised and lowered—who’s the lucky kid getting all these amazing things?"
"Sh!" she whispered, putting her finger to her lips. "He is coming—go on and play. Pretend you don't see him until he speaks to you."
"Sh!" she whispered, putting her finger to her lips. "He's coming—keep playing. Act like you don't see him until he talks to you."
As she spoke, a door at the far end of the apartment swung gently open,[68] and a little boy tiptoed softly in. He was a golden-haired little chap, and I fell in love with his soft, dreamy eyes the moment my own rested upon them. I could not help glancing up furtively to see his joy over the discovery of all these wondrous possessions, but alas, to my surprise, there was only an unemotional stare in his eyes as they swept the aggregation of childish treasures. Then, on a sudden, he saw me, squatting on the floor, setting up again the army of silver warriors.
As she talked, a door at the far end of the apartment slowly opened,[68] and a little boy quietly walked in. He was a golden-haired kid, and I instantly fell for his soft, dreamy eyes the moment I saw them. I couldn't help but glance up to see his excitement over the incredible toys, but to my surprise, all I saw in his eyes was a blank stare as he looked at the collection of childhood treasures. Then, suddenly, he spotted me squatting on the floor, setting up the army of silver warriors again.
"How do you do?" he said gently, but with just a touch of weariness in his sad little voice.
"How do you do?" he said gently, but with a hint of tiredness in his sad little voice.
"Good morning, and a Merry Christmas to you, sir," I replied.
"Good morning, and Merry Christmas to you, sir," I said.
[69] "What are you doing?" he asked, drawing near, and watching me with a good deal of seeming curiosity.
[69] "What are you up to?" he asked, getting closer and looking at me with a lot of apparent curiosity.
"I am playing with your soldiers," said I. "I hope you don't mind?"
"I'm playing with your soldiers," I said. "I hope you don't mind?"
"Oh, no indeed," he replied; "but what do you mean by that? What is playing?"
"Oh, no way," he replied; "but what do you mean by that? What is playing?"
I could hardly believe my ears.
I could barely believe what I was hearing.
"What is what?" said I.
"What is that?" I said.
"You said you were playing, sir," said he, "and I don't know exactly what you mean."
"You said you were playing, sir," he replied, "and I'm not really sure what you mean."
"Why," said I, scratching my head hard in a mad quest for a definition, for I couldn't for the life of me think of the answer to his question offhand, any more than I could define one of[70] the elements. "Playing is—why, it's playing, laddie. Don't you know what it is to play?"
"Why," I said, scratching my head in a desperate search for a definition, since I couldn't think of the answer to his question on the spot, just like I couldn't define one of[70] the elements. "Playing is—well, it's just playing, kid. Don't you know what it means to play?"
"Oh, yes," said he. "It's what you do on the piano—I've been taught to play on the piano, sir."
"Oh, yes," he said. "It's what you do on the piano—I've been taught to play the piano, sir."
"Oh, but this is different," said I. "This kind is fun—it's what most little boys do with their toys."
"Oh, but this is different," I said. "This kind is fun—it's what most little boys do with their toys."
"You mean—breaking them?" said he.
"You mean—breaking them?" he asked.
"No, indeed," said I. "It's getting all the fun there is out of them."
"No way," I said. "It's taking all the enjoyment out of them."
"I think I should like to do that," said he, with a fixed gaze upon the soldiers. "Can a little fellow like me learn to play that way?"
"I think I’d like to do that," he said, staring at the soldiers. "Can someone like me learn to play like that?"
"Well, rather, kiddie," said I, reaching out and taking him by the hand.[71] "Sit down here on the floor alongside of me, and I'll show you."
"Well, actually, kid," I said, reaching out and taking his hand.[71] "Sit down here on the floor next to me, and I'll show you."
"Oh, no," said he, drawing back; "I—I can't sit on the floor. I'd catch cold."
"Oh, no," he said, pulling back; "I—I can't sit on the floor. I'd get cold."
"Now, who under the canopy told you that?" I demanded, somewhat impatiently, I fear.
"Now, who under the canopy told you that?" I asked, a bit impatiently, I admit.
"My governesses and both my nurses, sir," said he. "You see, there are drafts—"
"My governesses and both my nurses, sir," he said. "You see, there are drafts—"
"Well, there won't be any drafts this time," said I. "Just you sit down here, and we'll have a game of marbles—ever play marbles with your father?"
"Well, there won't be any drafts this time," I said. "Just sit down here, and we'll play a game of marbles—have you ever played marbles with your dad?"
"No, sir," he replied. "He's always too busy, and neither of my nurses has ever known how."
"No, sir," he said. "He's always too busy, and none of my nurses has ever known how."
[72] "But your mother comes up here and plays games with you sometimes, doesn't she?" I asked.
[72] "But your mom comes up here and plays games with you sometimes, doesn't she?" I asked.
"Mother is busy, too," said the child. "Besides, she wouldn't care for a game which you had to sit on the floor to—"
"Mom is busy, too," said the child. "Besides, she wouldn't be into a game that you have to sit on the floor to—"
I sprang to my feet and lifted him bodily in my arms, and, after squatting him over by the fireplace where if there were any drafts at all they would be as harmless as a summer breeze, I took up a similar position on the other side of the room, and initiated him into the mystery of miggles as well as I could, considering that all his marbles were real agates.
I jumped up and picked him up in my arms, then set him down by the fireplace where, if there were any drafts, they'd be as harmless as a summer breeze. I took a seat on the other side of the room and tried to explain the mystery of miggles to him as best as I could, given that he was a bit scatterbrained.
"You don't happen to have a china-alley anywhere, do you?" I asked.
"You wouldn't happen to have a china-alley around, would you?" I asked.
[73] "No, sir," he answered. "We only have china plates—"
[73] "No, sir," he answered. "We only have china plates—"
"Never mind," I interrupted. "We can get along very nicely with these."
"Never mind," I cut in. "We can manage just fine with these."
And then for half an hour, despite the rich quality of our paraphernalia, that little boy and I indulged in a glorious game of real plebeian miggs, and it was a joy to see how quickly his stiff little fingers relaxed and adapted themselves to the uses of his eye, which was as accurate as it was deeply blue. So expert did he become that in a short while he had completely cleaned me out, giving joyous little cries of delight with every hit, and then we turned our attention to the soldiers.
And then for half an hour, despite the high quality of our stuff, that little boy and I enjoyed a fantastic game of real plebeian miggs, and it was a joy to see how quickly his stiff little fingers relaxed and learned to work with his eye, which was as precise as it was deeply blue. He got so skilled that in no time he had completely cleaned me out, letting out happy little cries of delight with every hit, and then we focused on the soldiers.
"I want some playing now," he[74] said gleefully, as I informed him that he had beaten me out of my boots at one of my best games. "Show me what you were doing with those soldiers when I came in."
"I want to play now," he[74] said happily, as I told him that he had completely outplayed me at one of my best games. "Show me what you were doing with those soldiers when I walked in."
"All right," said I, obeying with alacrity. "First, we'll have a parade."
"Okay," I said, jumping right in. "First, we'll have a parade."
I started a great talking-machine standing in one corner of the room off on a spirited military march, and inside of ten minutes, with his assistance, I had all the troops out and to all intents and purposes bravely swinging by to the martial music of Sousa.
I started a great record player in one corner of the room with an energetic military march, and in less than ten minutes, with its help, I had all the soldiers out and, for all practical purposes, marching confidently to Sousa's martial music.
"How's that?" said I, when we had got the whole corps arranged to our satisfaction.
"How's that?" I said, once we had everything set up how we wanted.
"Fine!" he cried, jumping up and down upon the floor and clapping his[75] hands with glee. "I've got lots more of these stored away in my toy-closet," he went on, "but I never knew that you could do such things as this with them."
"Great!" he shouted, bouncing up and down on the floor and clapping his[75] hands with excitement. "I have plenty more of these stored in my toy closet," he continued, "but I had no idea you could do things like this with them."
"But what did you think they were for?" I asked.
"But what did you think they were for?" I asked.
"Why—just to—to keep," he said hesitatingly.
"Why—just to—to keep," he said slowly.
"Wait a minute," said I, wheeling a couple of cannon off to a distance of a yard from the passing troops. "I'll show you something else you can do with them."
"Wait a minute," I said, moving a couple of cannons away about a yard from the passing troops. "I'll show you something else you can do with them."
I loaded both cannon to the muzzle with dried pease, and showed him how to shoot.
I loaded both cannons to the brim with dried peas and showed him how to fire.
"Now," said I, "fire!"
"Now," I said, "fire!"
He snapped the spring, and the[76] dried pease flew out like death-dealing shells in war. In a moment the platinum commander of the forces, and about thirty-seven solid silver warriors, lay flat on their backs. It needed only a little red ink on the carpet to reproduce in miniature a scene of great carnage, but I shall never forget the expression of mingled joy and regret on his countenance as those creatures went down.
He snapped the spring, and the[76] dried peas shot out like lethal projectiles in battle. In an instant, the platinum leader of the troops and about thirty-seven solid silver soldiers were lying flat on their backs. All it would take is a little red ink on the carpet to create a mini version of a bloody massacre, but I'll never forget the look of mixed joy and regret on his face as those figures fell.
"Don't you like it, son?" I asked.
"Don't you like it, son?" I asked.
"I don't know," he said, with an anxious glance at the prostrate warriors. "They aren't deaded, are they?"
"I don't know," he said, glancing nervously at the fallen warriors. "They aren't dead, are they?"
"Of course not," said I, restoring the presumably defunct troopers to life by setting them up again. "The[77] only thing that'll dead a soldier like these is to step on him. Try the other gun."
"Of course not," I replied, bringing the seemingly lifeless troopers back to action by propping them up again. "The[77] only thing that’ll take down a soldier like these is to step on him. Use the other gun."
Thus reassured, he did as I bade him, and again the proud paraders went down, this time amid shouts of glee. And so we passed an all too fleeting two hours, that little boy and I. Through the whole list of his famous toys we went, and as well as I could I taught him the delicious uses of each and all of them, until finally he seemed to grow weary, and so, drawing up a big arm-chair before the fire and taking his tired little body into my lap, with his tousled head cuddled up close over the spot where my heart is alleged to be, I started to read a story to him out of one of the many[78] beautiful books that had been provided for him by his generous parents. But I had not gone far when I saw that his attention was wandering.
Feeling reassured, he did what I asked, and once again, the proud little paraders went down, this time amidst cheers of joy. And so, the two of us—this little boy and I—spent a fleeting two hours together. We went through his entire collection of famous toys, and I did my best to teach him the fun ways to use each one, until he eventually seemed to tire. So, I pulled up a big armchair in front of the fire and took his weary little body onto my lap, with his messy head snuggled close to where my heart is said to be. I began to read a story to him from one of the many[78] beautiful books his generous parents had provided. But I hadn’t gotten far before I noticed his attention drifting.
"Perhaps you'd rather have me tell you a story instead of reading it," said I.
"Maybe you'd prefer me to tell you a story instead of reading it," I said.
"What's to tell a story?" he asked, fixing his blue eyes gravely upon mine.
"What's the story?" he asked, looking at me seriously with his blue eyes.
"Great Scott, kiddie!" said I, "didn't anybody ever tell you a story?"
"Wow, kid!" I said, "didn't anyone ever tell you a story?"
"No, sir," he replied sleepily; "I get read to every afternoon by my governess, but nobody ever told me a story."
"No, sir," he replied sleepily. "My governess reads to me every afternoon, but no one has ever told me a story."
"Well, just you listen to this," said I, giving him a hearty squeeze. "Once upon a time there was a little[79] boy," I began, "and he lived in a beautiful house not far from the Park, and his daddy—"
"Well, just listen to this," I said, giving him a friendly squeeze. "Once upon a time, there was a little[79] boy," I began, "and he lived in a beautiful house not far from the park, and his dad—"
"What's a daddy?" asked the child, looking up into my face.
"What's a daddy?" the child asked, looking up at my face.
"Why, a daddy is a little boy's father," I explained. "You've got a daddy—"
"Well, a daddy is a little boy's father," I explained. "You've got a daddy—"
"Oh, yes," he said. "If a daddy is a father, I've got one. I saw him yesterday," he added.
"Oh, yes," he said. "If a daddy is a father, then I have one. I saw him yesterday," he added.
"Oh, did you?" said I. "And what did he say to you?"
"Oh, really?" I said. "What did he tell you?"
"He said he was glad to see me and hoped I was a good boy," said the child. "He seemed very glad when I told him I hoped so, too, and he gave me all these things here—he and my mother."
"He said he was happy to see me and hoped I was a good kid," said the child. "He seemed really happy when I told him I hoped so too, and he gave me all these things here—he and my mom."
[80] "That was very nice of them," said I huskily.
[80] "That was really nice of them," I said hoarsely.
"And they're both coming up some time to-day or to-morrow to see if I like them," said the lad.
"And they're both coming by sometime today or tomorrow to see if I like them," said the boy.
"And what are you going to say?" I asked, with difficulty getting the words out over a most unaccountable lump that had arisen in my throat.
"And what are you going to say?" I asked, struggling to get the words out over an inexplicable lump that had formed in my throat.
"I'm going to tell them," he began, as his eyes closed sleepily, "that I like them all very, very much."
"I'm going to tell them," he started, his eyes slowly closing, "that I really, really like all of them."
"And which one of them all do you like the best?" said I.
"And which one do you like the best?" I asked.
He snuggled up closer in my arms, and, raising his little head a trifle higher, he kissed me on the tip end of my chin, and murmured softly as he dropped off to sleep,
He cuddled up closer in my arms, and, raising his little head a bit higher, he kissed me on the tip of my chin and murmured softly as he drifted off to sleep,
"You!"
"You!"
[81]III
"Good night," said my spectral visitor as she left me, once more bending over my desk, whither I had been re-transported without my knowledge, for I must have fallen asleep, too, with that little boy in my arms. "You have done a good night's work."
"Good night," said my ghostly visitor as she left me, once again leaning over my desk, where I had been unexpectedly returned without realizing it, since I must have also fallen asleep with that little boy in my arms. "You’ve done a good night’s work."
"Have I?" said I, rubbing my eyes to see if I were really awake. "But tell me—who was that little kiddie anyhow?"
"Have I?" I said, rubbing my eyes to see if I was actually awake. "But tell me—who was that little kid anyway?"
"He?" she answered with a smile. "Why, he is the Child Who Has Everything But—"
"He?" she replied with a smile. "Well, he's the Child Who Has Everything But—"
"Everything but what?" I cried, starting up and peering into the darkness into which she had disappeared.
"Everything but what?" I yelled, jumping up and looking into the darkness where she had vanished.
But there was no response, and I was left alone to guess the answer to my question.[83]
But there was no reply, and I was left on my own to figure out the answer to my question.[83]
A HOLIDAY WISH
With a heavily loaded bag of toys,
And tumbles down my chimney To spread his Christmas cheer, I believe he will bring the kind __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ That can be shared, because it's true.
Maybe in the past That joy is even sweeter when shared between two people.
I enjoy the joy I can share. Because of all the fun it brings. Selfish pleasure loses its thrill With no one to share it with you, And it shrinks the longer it’s kept, While shared joys multiply.
[85]
[86]
[87]
SANTA CLAUS AND LITTLE BILLEE
I
HE was only a little bit of a chap, and so, when for the first time in his life he came into close contact with the endless current of human things, it was as hard for him to "stay put" as for some wayward little atom of flotsam and jetsam to keep from tossing about in the surging tides of the sea.
He was just a small kid, and so, when he first experienced the constant flow of human life, it was as tough for him to "stay still" as it is for a stray piece of debris to stop moving in the crashing waves of the ocean.
His mother had left him there in the big toy-shop, with instructions not to move until she came back, while she went off to do some mysterious errand.[88] She thought, no doubt, that with so many beautiful things on every side to delight his eye and hold his attention, strict obedience to her commands would not be hard. But, alas, the good lady reckoned not upon the magnetic power of attraction of all those lovely objects in detail. She saw them only as a mass of wonders which, in all probability, would so dazzle his vision as to leave him incapable of movement; but Little Billee was not so indifferent as all that.
His mom had left him there in the big toy store, telling him not to move until she got back while she went off to run some mysterious errand.[88] She probably thought that with so many beautiful things around to catch his eye and keep him entertained, following her instructions wouldn’t be hard. But, unfortunately, the lady didn’t consider the strong attraction of all those lovely objects up close. She saw them only as a collection of wonders that would likely dazzle him so much he wouldn’t be able to move; but Little Billee wasn’t so indifferent after all.
When a phonograph at the other end of the shop began to rattle off melodious tunes and funny jokes, in spite of the instructions he had received, off he pattered as fast as his little legs would carry him to investigate. After[89] that, forgetful of everything else, finding himself caught in the constantly moving stream of Christmas shoppers, he was borne along in the resistless current until he found himself at last out upon the street—alone, free, and independent.
When a phonograph in the back of the shop started playing cheerful songs and funny jokes, despite the instructions he had received, he hurried off as fast as his little legs could take him to check it out. After[89] that, forgetting everything else, he found himself swept along in the busy crowd of Christmas shoppers, carried along until he finally ended up outside—alone, free, and independent.
It was great fun, at first. By and by, however, the afternoon waned; the sun, as if anxious to hurry along the dawn of Christmas Day, sank early to bed; and the electric lights along the darkening highway began to pop out here and there, like so many merry stars come down to earth to celebrate the gladdest time of all the year. Little Billee began to grow tired; and then he thought of his mama, and tried to find the shop where he had promised[90] to remain quiet until her return. Up and down the street he wandered until his little legs grew weary; but there was no sign of the shop, nor of the beloved face he was seeking.
It was really fun at first. But slowly, the afternoon faded away; the sun, seeming eager to bring on Christmas Day, set early; and the electric lights along the darkening road started to flicker on here and there, like cheerful stars coming down to earth to celebrate the happiest time of the year. Little Billee began to feel tired; then he thought of his mom and tried to find the shop where he had promised[90] to stay quiet until she got back. He wandered up and down the street until his little legs got tired; but there was no sign of the shop or the beloved face he was looking for.
Once again, and yet once again after that, did the little fellow traverse that crowded highway, his tears getting harder and harder to keep back, and then—joy of joys—whom should he see walking slowly along the sidewalk but Santa Claus himself! The saint was strangely decorated with two queer-looking boards, with big red letters on them, hung over his back and chest; but there was still that same kindly, gray-bearded face, the red cloak with the fur trimmings, and the same dear old cap that the children's friend had always worn in the pictures of him that Little Billee had seen.
Once again, and then again after that, the little guy made his way across that busy street, his tears getting harder and harder to hold back, and then—oh joy—who should he see strolling along the sidewalk but Santa Claus himself! The jolly figure was oddly decked out with two strange-looking boards, with big red letters on them, hanging over his back and chest; but he still had that same kind, gray-bearded face, the red cloak with fur trim, and the familiar old cap that the kids' friend always wore in the pictures Little Billee had seen.
[91] With a glad cry of happiness, Little Billee ran to meet the old fellow, and put his hand gently into that of the saint. He thought it very strange that Santa Claus's hand should be so red and cold and rough, and so chapped; but he was not in any mood to be critical. He had been face to face with a very disagreeable situation. Then, when things had seemed blackest to him, everything had come right again; and he was too glad to take more than passing notice of anything strange and odd.
[91] With a joyful shout, Little Billee ran to greet the old man and placed his hand gently in the saint's. He found it strange that Santa Claus's hand was so red, cold, rough, and chapped; but he wasn't in a critical mood. He had just faced a really unpleasant situation. Then, when things seemed their darkest, everything had turned around; and he was too happy to pay much attention to anything unusual or odd.
Santa Claus, of course, would recognize him at once, and would know just how to take him back to his mama at[92] home—wherever that might be. Little Billee had never thought to inquire just where home was. All he knew was that it was a big gray stone house on a long street somewhere, with a tall iron railing in front of it, not far from the park.
Santa Claus would definitely recognize him right away and would know exactly how to get him back to his mom at[92] home—wherever that was. Little Billee had never thought to ask exactly where home was. All he knew was that it was a big gray stone house on a long street somewhere, with a tall iron fence in front of it, not far from the park.
"Howdidoo, Mr. Santa Claus?" said Little Billee, as the other's hand unconsciously tightened over his own.
"How's it going, Mr. Santa Claus?" said Little Billee, as the other person's hand unwittingly squeezed his own.
"Why, howdidoo, kiddie?" replied the old fellow, glancing down at his new-found friend, with surprise gleaming from his deep-set eyes. "Where did you drop from?"
"Hey there, kiddo!" the old guy said, looking down at his new friend, surprise shining in his deep-set eyes. "Where did you come from?"
"Oh, I'm out," said Little Billee bravely. "My mama left me a little while ago while she went off about something, and I guess I got losted."
"Oh, I'm out," said Little Billee confidently. "My mom left me a little while ago while she went off to do something, and I guess I got lost."
[93] "Very likely," returned the old saint with a smile. "Little two-by-four fellows are apt to get losted when they start in on their own hook, specially days like these, with such crowds hustlin' around."
[93] "Probably," replied the old saint with a smile. "Small, little guys tend to get lost when they try to do things on their own, especially on days like these with so many people rushing around."
"But it's all right now," suggested Little Billee hopefully. "I'm found again, ain't I?"
"But it's all good now," suggested Little Billee hopefully. "I'm back, right?"
"Oh, yes, indeedy, you're found all right, kiddie," Santa Claus agreed.
"Oh, yes, indeed, you’re definitely found, kiddo," Santa Claus agreed.
"And pretty soon you'll take me home again, won't you?" said the child.
"And pretty soon you'll take me home again, right?" the child said.
"Surest thing you know!" answered Santa Claus, looking down upon the bright but tired little face with a comforting smile. "What might your address be?"
"Absolutely!" replied Santa Claus, gazing down at the bright but weary little face with a reassuring smile. "What’s your address?"
[94] "My what?" asked Little Billee.
"What?" asked Little Billee.
"Your address," repeated Santa Claus. "Where do you live?"
"Your address," Santa Claus said again. "Where do you live?"
The answer was a ringing peal of childish laughter.
The answer was a loud burst of childish laughter.
"As if you didn't know that!" cried Little Billee, giggling.
"As if you didn't know that!" shouted Little Billee, laughing.
"Ha, ha!" laughed Santa Claus. "Can't fool you, can I? It would be funny if, after keeping an eye on you all these years since you was a babby, I didn't know where you lived, eh?"
"Ha, ha!" laughed Santa Claus. "Can’t fool you, can I? It would be funny if, after keeping an eye on you all these years since you were a baby, I didn’t know where you lived, right?"
"Awful funny," agreed Little Billee. "But tell me, Mr. Santa Claus, what sort of a boy do you think I have been?" he added with a shade of anxiety in his voice.
"Awfully funny," Little Billee agreed. "But tell me, Mr. Santa Claus, what kind of boy do you think I’ve been?" he added, a hint of anxiety in his voice.
"Pretty good—pretty good,"[95] Santa Claus answered, turning in his steps and walking back again along the path he had just traveled—which Little Billee thought was rather a strange thing to do. "You've got more white marks than black ones—a good many more—a hundred and fifty times as many, kiddie. Fact is, you're all right—'way up among the good boys; though once or twice last summer, you know—"
"Pretty good—pretty good,"[95] Santa Claus replied, turning around and walking back along the path he had just taken—which Little Billee thought was a bit odd. "You've got more white marks than black ones—a lot more—about a hundred and fifty times as many, kid. The truth is, you're doing just fine—up there among the good boys; though once or twice last summer, you know—"
"Yes, I know," said Little Billee meekly, "but I didn't mean to be naughty."
"Yeah, I know," said Little Billee softly, "but I didn't mean to be bad."
"That's just what I said to the bookkeeper," said Santa Claus, "and so we gave you a gray mark—half white and half black—that doesn't count either way, for or against you."
"That's exactly what I told the bookkeeper," said Santa Claus, "so we gave you a gray mark—half white and half black—that doesn't count either way, for or against you."
[96] "Thank you, sir," said Little Billee, much comforted.
[96] "Thank you, sir," said Little Billee, feeling much better.
"Don't mention it; you are very welcome, kiddie," said Santa Claus, giving the youngster's hand a gentle squeeze.
"Don't mention it; you're very welcome, kid," said Santa Claus, giving the young one's hand a gentle squeeze.
"Why do you call me 'kiddie' when you know my name is Little Billee?" asked the boy.
"Why do you call me 'kiddie' when you know my name is Little Billee?" asked the boy.
"Oh, that's what I call all good boys," explained Santa Claus. "You see, we divide them up into two kinds—the good boys and the naughty boys—and the good boys we call kiddies, and the naughty boys we call caddies, and there you are."
"Oh, that's what I call all the good boys," explained Santa Claus. "You see, we split them into two groups—the good boys and the naughty boys. We call the good boys 'kiddies' and the naughty boys 'caddies,' and there you have it."
Just then Little Billee noticed for the first time the square boards that Santa Claus was wearing.
Just then, Little Billee noticed for the first time the square boards that Santa Claus was wearing.
[97] "What are you wearing those boards for, Mr. Santa Claus?" he asked.
[97] "What are you wearing those boards for, Mr. Santa Claus?" he asked.
If the lad had looked closely enough, he would have seen a very unhappy look come into the old man's face; but there was nothing of it in his answer.
If the guy had looked closely enough, he would have noticed a very unhappy expression on the old man's face; but there was none of that in his reply.
"Oh, those are my new-fangled back-and-chest protectors, my lad," he replied. "Sometimes we have bitter winds blowing at Christmas, and I have to be ready for them. It wouldn't do for Santa Claus to come down with the sneezes at Christmas-time, you know—no, sirree! This board in front keeps the wind off my chest, and the one behind keeps me from getting rheumatism in my back. They are a great protection against the weather."
"Oh, those are my fancy back and chest protectors, kid," he said. "Sometimes we get harsh winds blowing around Christmas, and I need to be prepared for them. It wouldn't be good for Santa Claus to catch a cold at Christmas, you know—no way! This board in front keeps the wind off my chest, and the one in the back prevents me from getting back pain. They’re a great shield against the weather."
[98] "I'll have to tell my papa about them," said Little Billee, much impressed by the simplicity of this arrangement. "We have a glass board on the front of our ortymobile to keep the wind off Henry—he's our shuffer—but papa wears a fur coat, and sometimes he says the wind goes right through that. He'll be glad to know about these boards."
[98] "I'll have to tell my dad about them," said Little Billee, really impressed by how simple this setup was. "We have a glass shield on the front of our car to keep the wind off Henry—he's our driver—but my dad wears a fur coat, and sometimes he says the wind goes right through that. He'll be happy to hear about these shields."
"I shouldn't wonder," smiled Santa Claus. "They aren't very becoming, but they are mighty useful. You might save up your pennies and give your papa a pair like 'em for his next Christmas."
"I wouldn't be surprised," smiled Santa Claus. "They don't look great, but they are really useful. You could save up your pennies and get your dad a pair like those for his next Christmas."
Santa Claus laughed as he spoke; but there was a catch in his voice which Little Billee was too young to notice.
Santa Claus laughed as he talked, but there was a hitch in his voice that Little Billee was too young to pick up on.
[99] "You've got letters printed there," said the boy, peering around in front of his companion at the lettering on the board. "What do they spell? You know I haven't learned to read yet."
[99] "You've got some letters printed there," the boy said, leaning forward to get a better look at the words on the board. "What do they say? You know I haven't learned to read yet."
"And why should you know how to read at your age?" said Santa Claus. "You're not more than—"
"And why should you know how to read at your age?" Santa Claus asked. "You're not more than—"
"Five last month," said Little Billee proudly. It was such a great age!
"Five last month," said Little Billee proudly. It was such an exciting age!
"My, as old as that?" cried Santa Claus. "Well, you are growing fast! Why, it don't seem more than yesterday that you was a pink-cheeked babby, and here you are big enough to be out alone! That's more than my little boy is able to do."
"My, is it really that old?" exclaimed Santa Claus. "Well, you’re growing up fast! It feels like just yesterday you were a rosy-cheeked baby, and now you’re big enough to be out on your own! That’s more than my little boy can manage."
Santa Claus shivered slightly, and[100] Little Billee was surprised to see a tear glistening in his eye.
Santa Claus shivered a bit, and[100] Little Billee was surprised to see a tear shining in his eye.
"Why, have you got a little boy?" he asked.
"Do you have a little boy?" he asked.
"Yes, Little Billee," said the saint. "A poor white-faced little chap, about a year older than you, who—well, never mind, kiddie—he's a kiddie, too—let's talk about something else, or I'll have icicles in my eyes."
"Sure, Little Billee," said the saint. "There's a sad little kid, a year older than you, who—well, never mind, kid—he's just a kid, too—let's chat about something else, or I'm going to get tears in my eyes."
"You didn't tell me what those letters on the boards spell," said Little Billee.
"You didn't tell me what those letters on the boards mean," said Little Billee.
"'Merry Christmas to Everybody!'" said Santa Claus. "I have the words printed there so that everybody can see them; and if I miss wishing anybody a merry Christmas, he'll know I meant it just the same."
"'Merry Christmas to Everyone!'" said Santa Claus. "I have the words printed there so everyone can see them; and if I forget to wish anyone a merry Christmas, they'll know I meant it just the same."
[101] "You're awful kind, aren't you?" said Little Billee, squeezing his friend's hand affectionately. "It must make you very happy to be able to be so kind to everybody!"
[101] "You're really sweet, aren't you?" said Little Billee, squeezing his friend's hand warmly. "It must make you so happy to be able to be this kind to everyone!"
[102]II
Santa Claus made no reply to this remark, beyond giving a very deep sigh, which Little Billee chose to believe was evidence of a great inward content. They walked on now in silence, for Little Billee was beginning to feel almost too tired to talk, and Santa Claus seemed to be thinking of something else. Finally, however, the little fellow spoke.
Santa Claus didn’t respond to this comment, except for letting out a deep sigh, which Little Billee decided was a sign of deep satisfaction. They continued walking in silence, as Little Billee was starting to feel too exhausted to chat, and Santa Claus appeared to be lost in thought. Eventually, though, the little guy spoke up.
"I guess I'd like to go home now, Mr. Santa Claus," he said. "I'm tired, and I'm afraid my mama will be wondering where I've gone to."
"I think I’d like to go home now, Mr. Santa Claus," he said. "I’m tired, and I’m worried my mom will be wondering where I am."
[103] "That's so, my little man," said Santa Claus, stopping short in his walk up and down the block. "Your mother will be worried, for a fact; and your father, too—I know how I'd feel if my little boy got losted and hadn't come home at dinner-time. I don't believe you know where you live, though—now, honest! Come! 'Fess up, Billee, you don't know where you live, do you?"
[103] "That's true, my little guy," said Santa Claus, pausing in his stroll along the block. "Your mom will definitely be worried; and your dad too—I can imagine how I’d feel if my little boy went missing and didn’t come home for dinner. I don’t think you really know where you live, though—come on, be honest! Come on! Admit it, Billee, you don’t know where you live, do you?"
"Why, yes, I do," said Little Billee. "It's in the big gray stone house with the iron fence in front of it, near the park."
"Yeah, I do," replied Little Billee. "It's in the big gray stone house with the iron fence out front, close to the park."
"Oh, that's easy enough!" laughed Santa Claus nervously. "Anybody could say he lived in a gray stone house with a fence around it, near the park;[104] but you don't know what street it's on, nor the number, either. I'll bet fourteen wooden giraffes against a monkey-on-a-stick!"
"Oh, that's simple!" Santa Claus chuckled, feeling a bit anxious. "Anyone could say he lived in a gray stone house with a fence around it, near the park;[104] but you have no idea what street it’s on, or the number either. I’ll wager fourteen wooden giraffes against a monkey-on-a-stick!"
"No, I don't," said Little Billee frankly; "but I know the number of our ortymobile. It's 'N. Y.'"
"No, I don't," Little Billee said honestly; "but I know the number of our car. It's 'N. Y.'"
"Fine!" laughed Santa Claus. "If you really were lost, it would be a great help to know that; but not being lost, as you ain't, why, of course, we can get along without it. It's queer you don't know your last name, though."
"Okay!" laughed Santa Claus. "If you truly were lost, it would be really helpful to know that; but since you're not lost, which you aren't, we can definitely manage without it. It's odd that you don't know your last name, though."
"I do, too, know my last name!" blurted Little Billee. "It's Billee. That's the last one they gave me, anyhow."
"I know my last name too!" shouted Little Billee. "It's Billee. That's the last one they gave me, anyway."
Santa Claus reflected for a moment, eying the child anxiously.
Santa Claus paused for a moment, looking at the child with concern.
[105] "I don't believe you even know your papa's name," he said.
[105] "I don't think you even know your dad's name," he said.
"Yes, I do," said Little Billee indignantly. "His name is Mr. Harrison."
"Yes, I do," Little Billee replied indignantly. "His name is Mr. Harrison."
"Well, you are a smart little chap," cried Santa Claus gleefully. "You got it right the very first time, didn't you? I really didn't think you knew. But I don't believe you know where your papa keeps his bake-shop, where he makes all those nice cakes and cookies you eat."
"Well, you're a clever little guy," Santa Claus exclaimed happily. "You got it right on the very first try, didn't you? I honestly didn’t think you knew. But I don’t think you know where your dad keeps his bakery, where he makes all those tasty cakes and cookies you enjoy."
Billee began to laugh again.
Billee started laughing again.
"You can't fool me, Mr. Santa Claus," he said. "I know my papa don't keep a bake-shop just as well as you do. My papa owns a bank."
"You can't trick me, Mr. Santa Claus," he said. "I know my dad doesn't run a bakery just like you do. My dad owns a bank."
"Splendid! Made of tin, I suppose,[106] with a nice little hole at the top to drop pennies into?" said Santa Claus.
"Awesome! Is it made of tin, I guess,[106] with a cute little hole on top to drop pennies in?" said Santa Claus.
"No, it ain't, either!" retorted Little Billee. "It's made of stone, and has more than a million windows in it. I went down there with my mama to papa's office the other day, so I guess I ought to know."
"No, it isn't, either!" replied Little Billee. "It's made of stone and has over a million windows in it. I went down there with my mom to my dad's office the other day, so I should know."
"Well, I should say so," said Santa Claus. "Nobody better. By the way, Billee, what does your mama call your papa? 'Billee,' like you?" he added.
"Well, I should definitely say so," said Santa Claus. "No one better. By the way, Billee, what does your mom call your dad? 'Billee,' like you?" he added.
"Oh, no, indeed," returned Little Billee. "She calls him papa, except once in a while when he's going away, and then she says, 'Good-by, Tom.'"
"Oh, no, really," replied Little Billee. "She calls him dad, except sometimes when he's leaving, and then she says, 'Goodbye, Tom.'"
"Fine again!" said Santa Claus, blowing upon his fingers, for, now that the sun had completely disappeared[107] over in the west, it was getting very cold. "Thomas Harrison, banker," he muttered to himself. "What with the telephone-book and the city directory, I guess we can find our way home with Little Billee."
"All right then!" said Santa Claus, rubbing his fingers together because now that the sun had fully set[107] in the west, it was getting pretty chilly. "Thomas Harrison, banker," he murmured to himself. "With the phone book and the city directory, I think we can find our way back home with Little Billee."
"Do you think we can go now, Mr. Santa Claus?" asked Little Billee, for the cold was beginning to cut through his little coat, and the sandman had started to scatter the sleepy-seeds all around.
"Do you think we can go now, Mr. Santa Claus?" asked Little Billee, as the cold started to seep through his little coat and the sandman began to sprinkle the sleepy-seeds everywhere.
"Yes, sirree!" returned Santa Claus promptly. "Right away off now instantly at once! I'm afraid I can't get my reindeer here in time to take us up to the house, but we can go in the cars—hum! I don't know whether we can or not, come to think of it. Ah,[108] do you happen to have ten cents in your pocket?" Santa added with an embarrassed air. "You see, I've left my pocketbook in the sleigh with my toy-pack; and, besides, mine is only toy-money, and they won't take that on the cars."
"Absolutely!" Santa Claus replied immediately. "I'll head out right now! I'm afraid I can't get my reindeer here in time to take us to the house, but we can use the cars—hmm! I'm not sure if that's possible, to be honest. Ah,[108] do you happen to have ten cents on you?" Santa added, looking a bit shy. "You see, I left my wallet in the sleigh with my toy bag; and besides, mine is just toy money, and they won't accept that on the cars."
"I got twenty-fi' cents," said Little Billee proudly, as he dug his way down into his pocket and brought the shining silver piece to light. "You can have it, if you want it."
"I've got twenty-five cents," said Little Billee proudly, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the shiny silver coin. "You can have it if you want."
"Thank you," said Santa Claus, taking the proffered coin. "We'll start home right away; only come in here first, while I telephone to Santaville, telling the folks where I am."
"Thanks," said Santa Claus, taking the offered coin. "We'll head home right away; just come in here first while I call Santaville and let them know where I am."
He led the little fellow into a public telephone station, where he eagerly[109] scanned the names in the book. At last it was found—"Thomas Harrison, seven-six-five-four Plaza." And then, in the seclusion of the telephone-booth, Santa Claus sent the gladdest of all Christmas messages over the wire to two distracted parents:
He took the little guy into a public phone station, where he eagerly [109] looked through the names in the book. Finally, he found it—"Thomas Harrison, seven-six-five-four Plaza." Then, in the privacy of the phone booth, Santa Claus sent the happiest of all Christmas messages over the line to two overwhelmed parents:
"I have found your boy wandering in the street. He is safe, and I will bring him home right away."
I found your son wandering in the street. He’s safe, and I’ll bring him home right away.
[110]III
Fifteen minutes later, there might have been seen the strange spectacle of a foot-sore Santa Claus leading a sleepy little boy up Fifth Avenue to a cross-street, which shall be nameless. The boy vainly endeavored to persuade his companion to "come in and meet mama."
Fifteen minutes later, there could be seen the unusual sight of a tired Santa Claus helping a sleepy little boy up Fifth Avenue to a cross street, which shall remain unnamed. The boy was trying unsuccessfully to convince his companion to "come in and meet mom."
"No, Billee," the old man replied sadly, "I must hurry back. You see, kiddie, this is my busy day. Besides, I never go into a house except through the chimney. I wouldn't know how to behave, going in at a front door."
"No, Billee," the old man said with a sigh, "I need to get back quickly. You see, kiddo, today’s my busy day. Plus, I never enter a house except through the chimney. I wouldn’t know what to do if I came in through the front door."
But it was not to be as Santa Claus[111] willed, for Little Billee's papa, and his mama, and his brothers and sisters, and the butler and the housemaids, and two or three policemen, were waiting at the front door when they arrived.
But that wasn't what Santa Claus[111] had planned, because Little Billee's dad, his mom, his brothers and sisters, the butler, the housemaids, and a couple of policemen were all waiting at the front door when they got there.
"Aha!" said one of the police, seizing Santa Claus roughly by the arm. "We've landed you, all right! Where have you been with this boy?"
"Aha!" said one of the police, grabbing Santa Claus firmly by the arm. "We've caught you now! Where have you been with this kid?"
"You let him alone!" cried Little Billee, with more courage than he had ever expected to show in the presence of a policeman. "He's a friend of mine."
"You leave him alone!" shouted Little Billee, with more bravery than he ever thought he could show in front of a cop. "He's my friend."
"That's right, officer," said Little Billee's father; "let him alone—I haven't entered any complaint against this man."
"That's right, officer," said Little Billee's father. "Just leave him be—I haven't made any complaints against this guy."
"But you want to look out for these[112] fellers, Mr. Harrison," returned the officer. "First thing you know they'll be makin' a trade of this sort of thing."
"But you need to watch out for these[112] guys, Mr. Harrison," the officer replied. "Before you know it, they'll be turning this into a business."
"I'm no grafter!" retorted Santa Claus indignantly. "I found the little chap wandering along the street, and, as soon as I was able to locate where he lived, I brought him home. That's all there is to it."
"I'm not a cheat!" Santa Claus shot back angrily. "I found the little guy wandering down the street, and as soon as I figured out where he lived, I took him home. That's all there is to it."
"He knew where I lived all along," laughed Little Billee, "only he pretended he didn't, just to see if I knew."
"He always knew where I lived," laughed Little Billee, "he just acted like he didn’t to see if I would figure it out."
"You see, sir," said the officer, "it won't do him any harm to let him cool his heels—"
"You see, sir," said the officer, "it won't hurt him to wait a bit—"
"It is far better that he should warm them, officer," said Mr. Harrison kindly. "And he can do that here. Come in, my man," he added, turning[113] to Santa Claus with a grateful smile. "Just for a minute anyhow. Mrs. Harrison will wish to thank you for bringing our boy back to us. We have had a terrible afternoon."
"It’s much better for him to warm them up, officer," Mr. Harrison said kindly. "And he can do that here. Come in, my man," he added, turning[113] to Santa Claus with a grateful smile. "Just for a minute, at least. Mrs. Harrison will want to thank you for bringing our boy back to us. We’ve had a terrible afternoon."
"That's all right, sir," said Santa Claus modestly. "It wasn't anything, sir. I didn't really find him—it was him as found me, sir. He took me for the real thing, I guess."
"That's okay, sir," Santa Claus said modestly. "It wasn't a big deal, sir. I didn't actually find him—it was him who found me, sir. He must have thought I was the real deal, I guess."
Nevertheless, Santa Claus, led by Little Billee's persistent father, went into the house. Now that the boy could see him in the full glare of many electric lights, his furs did not seem the most gorgeous things in the world. When the flapping front of his red jacket flew open, the child was surprised to see how ragged was the thin[114] gray coat it covered; and as for the good old saint's comfortable stomach—strange to say, it was not!
Nevertheless, Santa Claus, guided by Little Billee's relentless father, went into the house. Now that the boy could see him clearly under the bright electric lights, his furs didn’t look as magnificent as he expected. When the flapping front of his red jacket opened, the child was taken aback to see how tattered the thin[114] gray coat underneath was; and as for the good old saint's cozy stomach—strangely enough, it wasn’t!
"I—I wish you all a merry Christmas," faltered Santa Claus; "but I really must be going, sir—"
"I—I wish you all a merry Christmas," stammered Santa Claus; "but I really have to be going, sir—"
"Nonsense!" cried Mr. Harrison. "Not until you have got rid of this chill, and—"
"Nonsense!" shouted Mr. Harrison. "Not until you shake off this chill, and—"
"I can't stay, sir," said Santa. "I'll lose my job if I do."
"I can't stick around, sir," said Santa. "I'll get fired if I do."
"Well, what if you do? I'll give you a better one," said the banker.
"Well, what if you do? I'll give you a better one," said the banker.
"I can't—I can't!" faltered the man. "I—I—I've got a Little Billee of my own at home waitin' for me, sir. If I hadn't," he added fiercely, "do you suppose I'd be doin' this?" He pointed at the painted[115] boards, and shuddered. "It's him as has kept me from—from the river!" he muttered hoarsely; and then this dispenser of happiness to so many millions of people all the world over sank into a chair, and, covering his face with his hands, wept like a child.
"I can't—I can't!" the man stammered. "I—I—I've got a Little Billee of my own at home waiting for me, sir. If I didn't," he added angrily, "do you think I'd be doing this?" He pointed at the painted[115] boards and shuddered. "It's him that's kept me from—from the river!" he muttered hoarsely; and then this provider of happiness to so many millions of people all over the world sank into a chair and, covering his face with his hands, cried like a child.
"I guess Santa Claus is tired, papa," said Little Billee, snuggling up closely to the old fellow and taking hold of his hand sympathetically. "He's been walkin' a lot to-day."
"I guess Santa Claus is tired, Dad," said Little Billee, snuggling up next to the old guy and holding his hand supportively. "He's been walking a lot today."
"Yes, my son," said Mr. Harrison gravely. "These are very busy times for Santa Claus, and I guess that, as he still has a hard night ahead of him, James had better ring up Henry and tell him to bring the car around right away, so that we may take him back—to[116] his little boy. We'll have to lend him a fur coat to keep the wind off, too, for it is a bitter night."
"Yes, my son," Mr. Harrison said seriously. "These are really busy times for Santa Claus, and since he still has a tough night ahead of him, I think James should call Henry and ask him to bring the car around right away so we can take him back—to[116] his little boy. We’ll also need to lend him a fur coat to protect him from the wind, because it's a brutally cold night."
"Oh," said Little Billee, "I haven't told you about these boards he wears. He has 'em to keep the wind off, and they're fine, papa!" Little Billee pointed to the two sign-boards which Santa Claus had leaned against the wall. "He says he uses 'em on cold nights," the lad went on. "They have writing on 'em, too. Do you know what it says?"
"Oh," said Little Billee, "I haven't told you about these boards he wears. He has them to keep the wind off, and they're great, dad!" Little Billee pointed to the two sign boards that Santa Claus had leaned against the wall. "He says he uses them on cold nights," the boy continued. "They have writing on them, too. Do you know what it says?"
"Yes," said Mr. Harrison, glancing at the boards. "It says 'If You Want a Good Christmas Dinner for a Quarter, Go to Smithers's Café.'"
"Yeah," Mr. Harrison said, looking at the sign. "It says, 'If You Want a Great Christmas Dinner for a Quarter, Go to Smithers's Café.'"
Little Billee roared with laughter.
Little Billee laughed out loud.
"Papa's trying to fool me, just as[117] you did when you pretended not to know where I lived, Santa Claus," he said, looking up into the old fellow's face, his own countenance brimming over with mirth. "You mustn't think he can't read, though," the lad added hastily. "He's only joking."
"Papa's trying to trick me, just like[117] you did when you acted like you didn't know where I lived, Santa Claus," he said, looking up into the old man's face, his own face full of amusement. "You shouldn't think he can't read, though," the boy quickly added. "He's just joking."
"Oh, no, indeed, I shouldn't have thought that," replied Santa Claus, smiling through his tears.
"Oh, no, I really shouldn't have thought that," replied Santa Claus, smiling through his tears.
"I've been joking, have I?" said Little Billee's papa. "Well, then, Mr. Billiam, suppose you inform me what it says on those boards."
"I've been joking, have I?" said Little Billee's dad. "Well, then, Mr. Billiam, why don't you tell me what it says on those boards?"
"'Merry Christmas to Everybody,'" said Little Billee proudly. "I couldn't read it myself, but he told me what it said. He has it printed there so that if he misses saying it to[118] anybody, they'll know he means it just the same."
"'Merry Christmas to Everyone,'" said Little Billee proudly. "I couldn't read it myself, but he told me what it said. He has it printed there so that if he forgets to say it to[118] anyone, they'll know he means it just the same."
"By Jove, Mr. Santa Claus," cried Little Billee's papa, grasping the old man warmly by the hand, "I owe you ten million apologies! I haven't believed in you for many a long year; but now, sir, I take it all back. You do exist, and, by the great horn spoon, you are the real thing!"
"Wow, Mr. Santa Claus," Little Billee's dad exclaimed, shaking the old man's hand warmly, "I owe you a huge apology! I haven't believed in you for a long time; but now, I take all that back. You do exist, and, honestly, you're the real deal!"
[119]IV
Little Billee had the satisfaction of acting as host to Santa Claus at a good, luscious dinner, which Santa Claus must have enjoyed very much, because, when explaining why he was so hungry, it came out that the poor old chap had been so busy all day that he had not had time to get any lunch—no, not even one of those good dinners at Smithers's café, to which Little Billee's father had jokingly referred. And after dinner Henry came with the automobile, and, bidding everybody good night, Santa Claus and Little Billee's papa went out of the house together.
Little Billee was thrilled to host Santa Claus for a delicious dinner that Santa must have enjoyed a lot, because when he explained why he was so hungry, it turned out that the poor guy had been so busy all day that he hadn’t had time for lunch—not even one of those great meals at Smithers's café, which Little Billee's dad had joked about. After dinner, Henry arrived with the car, and as everyone said goodnight, Santa Claus and Little Billee's dad left the house together.
[120] Christmas morning dawned, and Little Billee awoke from wonderful dreams of rich gifts, and of extraordinary adventures with his new-found friend, to find the reality quite as splendid as the dream things. Later, what was his delight when a small boy, not much older than himself—a pale, thin, but playful little fellow—arrived at the house to spend the day with him, bringing with him a letter from Santa Claus himself! This was what the letter said:
[120] Christmas morning arrived, and Little Billee woke up from amazing dreams filled with great gifts and exciting adventures with his new friend, only to find that reality was just as fantastic as his dreams. Later, he was thrilled when a small boy, just a little older than him—a pale, thin, but lively little guy—showed up at the house to spend the day with him, bringing a letter from Santa Claus himself! Here’s what the letter said:
Dear Little Billee:—You must not tell anybody except your papa and your mama, but the little boy who brings you this letter is my little boy, and I am going to let you have him for a playfellow for Christmas Day. Treat[121] him kindly for his papa's sake, and if you think his papa is worth loving tell him so. Do not forget me, Little Billee. I shall see you often in the future, but I doubt if you will see me. I am not going to return to Twenty-Third Street again, but shall continue my work in the Land of Yule, in the Palace of Good-Will, whose beautiful windows look out upon the homes of all good children.
Dear Little Billee:—You can only tell your dad and your mom, but the little boy delivering this letter is my son, and I'm letting you have him as a playmate for Christmas Day. Please be kind to[121] him for his dad’s sake, and if you think his dad is worth loving, let him know. Don’t forget about me, Little Billee. I’ll be seeing you around often in the future, but I doubt you’ll see me. I’m not coming back to Twenty-Third Street, but I’ll keep working in the Land of Yule, in the Palace of Good-Will, where the beautiful windows look out on the homes of all good children.
Good-by, Little Billee, and the happiest of happy Christmases to you and all of yours.
Goodbye, Little Billee, and I wish you and your family the happiest Christmas ever.
Affectionately,
Affectionately,
Santa Claus.
Santa Claus.
When Little Billee's mama read this to him that Christmas morning, a stray little tear ran down her cheek and fell upon Little Billee's hand.
When Little Billee's mom read this to him that Christmas morning, a stray tear rolled down her cheek and splashed onto Little Billee's hand.
"With happiness, my dear little son," his mother answered. "I was afraid yesterday that I might have lost my little boy forever, but now—"
"With joy, my dear little son," his mother replied. "I was worried yesterday that I might have lost my little boy forever, but now—"
"You have an extra one thrown in for Christmas, haven't you?" said Little Billee, taking his new playmate by the hand. The visitor smiled back at him with a smile so sweet that anybody might have guessed that he was the son of Santa Claus.
"You got an extra one added for Christmas, didn't you?" said Little Billee, taking his new friend by the hand. The visitor smiled back at him with such a sweet smile that anyone could have figured he was the son of Santa Claus.
As for the latter, Little Billee has not seen him again; but down at his father's bank there is a new messenger, named John, who has a voice so like Santa Claus's voice that whenever Little Billee goes down there in the[123] motor to ride home at night with his papa, he runs into the bank and has a long talk with him, just for the pleasure of pretending that it is Santa Claus he is talking to. Indeed, the voice is so like that once a sudden and strange idea flashed across Little Billee's mind.
As for the latter, Little Billee hasn't seen him again; but down at his father's bank, there's a new messenger named John who has a voice that is so similar to Santa Claus's that whenever Little Billee goes there in the[123] car to ride home with his dad at night, he runs into the bank and has a long chat with him, just for the fun of pretending he's talking to Santa Claus. In fact, the voice is so close that once a sudden and strange thought flashed through Little Billee's mind.
"Have you ever been on Twenty-Third Street, John?" he asked.
"Have you ever been on 23rd Street, John?" he asked.
"Twenty-Third Street?" replied the messenger, scratching his head as if very much puzzled. "What's that?"
"Twenty-Third Street?" the messenger replied, scratching his head as if he were really confused. "What’s that?"
"Why, it's a street," said Little Billee rather vaguely.
"Why, it's just a street," said Little Billee somewhat uncertainly.
"Well, to tell you the truth, Billee," said John, "I've heard tell of Twenty-Third Street, and they say it is a very beautiful and interesting spot. But, you know, I don't get much chance to[124] travel. I've been too busy all my life to go abroad."
"Honestly, Billee," John said, "I've heard about Twenty-Third Street, and they say it's a really beautiful and interesting place. But, you know, I haven't had much opportunity to[124] travel. I've been too busy all my life to go anywhere."
"Abroad!" roared Little Billee, grinning at John's utterly absurd mistake. "Why, Twenty-Third Street ain't abroad! It's up-town—near—oh, near—Twenty-Second Street."
"Abroad!" shouted Little Billee, grinning at John's completely ridiculous mistake. "Come on, Twenty-Third Street isn't abroad! It's uptown—close to—oh, close to—Twenty-Second Street."
"Really?" returned John, evidently tremendously surprised. "Well, well, well! Who'd have thought that? Well, if that's the case, some time when I get a week off I'll have to go and spend my vacation there!"
"Really?" John replied, clearly very surprised. "Wow! Who would have thought that? Well, if that's true, sometime when I get a week off, I’ll have to go and spend my vacation there!"
From which Little Billee concluded that his suspicion that John might be Santa Claus in disguise was entirely without foundation in fact.[125]
From this, Little Billee realized that his suspicion that John could be Santa Claus in disguise was completely unfounded.[125]
CHRISTMAS EVE
Peeking from the blue sky,
Are a million starry eyes Smiling, sweetheart, watching over you;
Peeking through the misty gauze
From their tiny homes above While we wait for Santa Claus With his gifts of Joy and Love.
Hush, my baby! Santa Claus is on his way,
And his sleds overflow With the treats of Christmas Day.
Lullaby! Hush, my Baby O.
Now they glide across the moon,
Now they flicker over the gold[126]— We'll hear their footsteps soon. On the rooftops, it's crisp and cold. Hush, my Baby O!
Soon the cheerful horn will sound That will bring in the light
On the golden Christmas morning. Lullaby!
Hush, my baby O.
Join the fun prankster crew
Of the Elf-men with their joy Waiting in Dreamland.
Santa Claus has to come too Through the blissful valleys of Sleep. There with all the Fairy crowd Let us also keep our watch. Hush, my Baby O. Rush to Dreamland away,
Where the fairy kids go
On Christmas Eve.
Lullaby!
Hush-a-by, my Baby O.
[128] THE HOUSE OF THE SEVEN SANTAS
[129] FOR once the weather bureau had scored a good, clean hit. The bull's-eye was pierced squarely in the middle, and the promised blizzard falling upon the city at noon held the metropolis completely in its grip. Everything in the line of public transportation in and out of the town was tied up so tightly that it did not seem possible that it would ever be unraveled again. The snow was piling waist high upon the streets, and the cutting winds played their fantastic[130] pranks with a chill and cruel persistence.
[129] For once, the weather bureau had hit the nail on the head. The bull's-eye was struck right in the center, and the promised snowstorm hit the city at noon, holding the metropolis completely captive. All public transportation in and out of town was so tightly tangled that it seemed impossible it would ever be straightened out again. The snow was piling up to waist height on the streets, and the biting winds were playing their wild tricks with a chilling and relentless force. [130]
It was with great difficulty that Dobbleigh made his way into the Grand Central Railway Station. Like other suburban commuters at Christmas time, he was heavily laden with bundles of one kind and another. He fairly oozed packages. They stuck out of the pockets of his heavy ulster. A half dozen fastened together with a heavy cord he carried in his right hand, and some were slung about his shoulders, and held there by means of a leathern strap. The real truth was that Dobbleigh had been either too busy, or had forgotten the wise resolutions of the autumn, and had failed to do his Christmas shopping early,[131] with the result that now, on Christmas Eve, he was returning to the little Dobbleighs with a veritable Santa Claus' pack, whose contents were designed to delight their eyes in the early hours of the coming morning.
It was really tough for Dobbleigh to get into Grand Central Station. Like other commuters during the holiday season, he was weighed down with all kinds of packages. He was practically overflowing with them. Some were sticking out of the pockets of his heavy coat. A half dozen held together with a thick cord were in his right hand, and others were draped over his shoulders, secured by a leather strap. The truth was that Dobbleigh had either been too busy or had forgotten the good intentions he’d made back in the fall, and he hadn't done his Christmas shopping early, [131] so now, on Christmas Eve, he was headed home to the little Dobbleighs with a sack full of gifts meant to wow them in the early hours of the next morning.
It was with a great sense of relief that he entered the vast waiting room of the station, and shook the accumulated snow from his coat, and removed the infant icicles from his eyes, but his joy was short-lived. Making his way to the door, he paused to wish the venerable doorman a Merry Christmas.
It was a huge relief when he walked into the big waiting room of the station, shook the snow off his coat, and cleared the little icicles from his eyes, but his happiness was short-lived. As he approached the door, he stopped to wish the elderly doorman a Merry Christmas.
"Fierce night, Hawkins," he said, as he readjusted his packages. "I shall be glad enough to get home."
"Rough night, Hawkins," he said, as he rearranged his bags. "I’ll be really glad to get home."
The old man shook his head dubiously.
The old man shook his head uncertainly.
[132] "I'm afraid you won't enjoy that luxury to-night, Mr. Dobbleigh," he said. "We haven't been able to get a train out of here since one o'clock, and the way things look now there won't be any business at this stand for twenty-four hours, even if we have luck."
[132] "I'm sorry, but you won't be able to enjoy that luxury tonight, Mr. Dobbleigh," he said. "We haven't been able to get a train out of here since one o'clock, and the way things are looking right now, there won't be any business at this stand for twenty-four hours, even if we get lucky."
"What's that?" returned Dobbleigh. "You don't mean to say—"
"What's that?" Dobbleigh replied. "You can't be serious—"
"No trains out to-night, sir," said the doorman. "The line's out of commission from here to Buffalo, anyhow, and nobody knows what's going on west of there. The wires are down, and we're completely shut off from the world."
"No trains tonight, sir," said the doorman. "The line's out of service from here to Buffalo, anyway, and nobody knows what's happening west of there. The wires are down, and we're completely cut off from the world."
Dobbleigh gave a long, low whistle.
Dobbleigh let out a long, low whistle.
[133] "By Jove, Hawkins," he muttered ruefully. "That's tough."
[133] "Wow, Hawkins," he said with a sigh. "That's rough."
"Kind o' hard on the kiddies, eh?" said the old doorman sympathetically.
"Kind of tough on the kids, huh?" said the old doorman sympathetically.
"Mighty hard," said Dobbleigh, with a catch in his voice. "No chance of anything—not even a freight?" he went on anxiously.
"Mighty tough," said Dobbleigh, his voice trembling. "No chance of anything—not even a freight?" he continued, looking worried.
"Couldn't pull a feather through with thirty locomotives," was the disheartening response. "I guess it's the hotel for yours to-night, sir."
"Couldn't pull a feather through with thirty trains," was the discouraging reply. "I guess it’s the hotel for you tonight, sir."
Dobbleigh turned away, and pondered deeply for a few moments. Taking care of himself for the night was not, under the circumstances, a very difficult proposition, for his club was not far away, so that he was not confronted with the uncomfortable prospect[134] of sleeping on the benches of the railway station, but the idea of the little Dobbleighs not finding their treasures awaiting them on the morrow, to say nothing of the anxiety of Mrs. Dobbleigh over his non-arrival, was, to say the least, disconcerting.
Dobbleigh turned away and thought hard for a few moments. Taking care of himself for the night wasn't, given the circumstances, very difficult, since his club was close by, so he didn't have to face the uncomfortable possibility[134] of sleeping on the benches at the train station. However, the thought of the little Dobbleighs not finding their treasures waiting for them the next day, not to mention Mrs. Dobbleigh's worry about his late arrival, was, to say the least, unsettling.
"Oh, well," he said philosophically, after going over the pros and cons of the situation carefully, "what's the use of worrying? What must be must be, and I'll have to make the best of it."
"Oh, well," he said thoughtfully, after weighing the pros and cons of the situation, "what's the point of worrying? What will be, will be, and I'll just have to make the best of it."
He buttoned his heavy coat up snugly about his neck, and, seizing his bundles with a firmer grip, wished the old doorman a good night, and went out again into the storm. Fifteen minutes later, looking more like a snowman than an ordinary human[135] being, he entered the club, and, if it be true that misery finds comfort in company, he was not doomed to go without consolation. There were five other fellow-sufferers there trying to make the best of it.
He buttoned his heavy coat tightly around his neck, grabbed his bundles more firmly, wished the old doorman a good night, and stepped back out into the storm. Fifteen minutes later, looking more like a snowman than a regular person[135], he walked into the club. If misery truly seeks comfort in company, he wasn’t alone in his struggles. There were five other people there trying to make the most of it.
"Hello, Dobby," cried his friend and neighbor, Grantham. "What's happened to you—an eighteen-karat family man spending his Christmas Eve at a club? Shame on you!"
"Hey, Dobby," shouted his friend and neighbor, Grantham. "What’s going on with you—an eighteen-carat family guy spending Christmas Eve at a club? Shame on you!"
"I am duly repentant, Gran," replied Dobbleigh, "but you see, as your neighbor, I felt it my duty to keep an eye on you this night. There are hobgoblins in the air. Why are you not at home in the bosom of your family yourself?"
"I sincerely regret it, Gran," Dobbleigh replied, "but you see, as your neighbor, I felt it was my responsibility to look out for you tonight. There are strange happenings in the air. Why aren't you at home with your family?"
"The walking is too bad," said[136] Grantham. "And, besides, that confounded valet of mine forgot to put my snowshoes in my suit-case."
"The walking is awful," said[136] Grantham. "And, on top of that, that annoying valet of mine forgot to pack my snowshoes in my suitcase."
"They say the river is frozen solid all the way up," put in Billie Ricketts, who is a good deal of a wag, as all old bachelors are apt to be. "Why don't you fellows skate home?"
"They say the river is completely frozen over," Billie Ricketts chimed in, who is quite the jokester, as all old bachelors tend to be. "Why don't you guys skate home?"
"I tried it," smiled Grantham, "but the wind is blowing down the river, and I live up. I hadn't been going more than two hours when I landed on Staten Island."
"I tried it," Grantham smiled, "but the wind is blowing downriver, and I live upstream. I hadn’t been going for more than two hours when I landed on Staten Island."
In this way the exiles strove to comfort each other, and on the surface succeeded, but inwardly a very miserable lot they were. Clubs have their attractions, but we have not yet succeeded in developing an institution of[137] that kind which is a fair substitute for the home fireside on a Christmas Eve. Even the most confirmed old bachelor will confess to you that, way down deep in his heart, the comforts of such organizations seem cheerless and cold in contrast to the visions of smiling hearthstones and merry gatherings of happy children, that come to them in their dreams.
In this way, the exiles tried to comfort each other, and on the surface, they succeeded, but inside, they were very miserable. Clubs have their appeal, but we still haven't managed to create a place[137] that serves as a true substitute for the warmth of home on Christmas Eve. Even the most steadfast old bachelor will admit that, deep down, the comforts of these organizations feel bleak and cold compared to the images of joyful hearths and happy gatherings of children that come to them in their dreams.
"You've got some bundle there, Dobby," said Grantham, as Dobbleigh relieved himself of his burden of packages. "What are you going to do, open a department store?"
"You've got quite a load there, Dobby," said Grantham, as Dobbleigh set down his burden of packages. "What are you planning to do, open a department store?"
"Huh!" ejaculated Ricketts. "You're a fine fellow to talk. Ought to have seen Gran when he staggered in here an hour ago, Dobby. I thought[138] at first he was a branch office of the American Express Company—honest I did. Talk about your bundle trust—Gran had the market cornered."
"Huh!" exclaimed Ricketts. "You're a great one to talk. You should have seen Gran when he stumbled in here an hour ago, Dobby. I honestly thought[138] he was a branch office of the American Express Company. Seriously! Talk about being loaded—Gran had the market cornered."
"Well, why shouldn't I have?" demanded Grantham. "Haven't I got five of the finest kids that ever climbed a Christmas tree?"
"Well, why shouldn't I have?" Grantham insisted. "Don't I have five of the best kids that ever climbed a Christmas tree?"
"Nope," said Dobbleigh, with an air of conviction. "Your five are dandies, Gran, but you ought to see my six."
"Nope," said Dobbleigh confidently. "Your five are great, Gran, but you should check out my six."
"I've seen 'em," said Grantham, "and I'll give every blessed one of 'em honorable mention as high-steppers and thoroughbreds, but when it comes to the real thing—well, my five are blue-ribbon kids all right, all right."
"I've seen them," said Grantham, "and I'll give every single one of them honorable mention as top performers and thoroughbreds, but when it comes to the real deal—well, my five are definitely blue-ribbon kids, no doubt about it."
"How you fathers do brag about[139] little things!" snorted Ricketts. "You two braggarts can roll your eleven into one, and the aggregate wouldn't be a marker to what my children would be if I had any. I've half a mind to give up my state of single blessedness, just to show you vainglorious chaps what—"
"How you dads love to brag about[139] the smallest things!" Ricketts scoffed. "You two show-offs can combine your eleven into one, and it still wouldn't compare to what my kids would be if I had any. I'm seriously considering giving up my single life, just to show you cocky guys what—"
Just what Ricketts was going to show the assembled gathering the world will never be able to do more than guess, for he was not permitted to finish the sentence. It was at this precise point that Doctor Mallerby, shedding snow from his broad, burly figure at every step, staggered into the room, and, with a scant greeting to his friends, hastened to the blazing log fire on the club hearth, and kneeling before it,[140] began unwrapping a bundle of some size that he, too, carried in his arms.
Just what Ricketts was going to show the gathered crowd will always be a mystery, as he wasn't allowed to finish his sentence. At that exact moment, Doctor Mallerby, shaking off snow from his big, sturdy figure with every step, stumbled into the room. With only a brief acknowledgment to his friends, he rushed to the roaring log fire on the club's hearth and, kneeling in front of it, began unwrapping a sizable bundle he was also carrying in his arms.[140]
"What on earth have you got there, doctor?" cried Ricketts, craning his neck over the newcomer's shoulder. "One of these new character dolls?"
"What do you have there, doctor?" Ricketts exclaimed, leaning over the newcomer's shoulder. "Is that one of those new character dolls?"
"No, Billie, no," said Mallerby, fumbling away at the bundle. "I wish to Heaven it were. Can't you see, old man—it's the real thing!"
"No, Billie, no," Mallerby said, struggling with the bundle. "I wish to God it were. Can’t you see, old man—it’s the real deal!"
"The real what?" said Ricketts, bending lower.
"The real what?" Ricketts said, bending down lower.
"The real thing," returned Mallerby, in a low voice. "A poor little tot of a newsboy—"
"The real thing," Mallerby replied quietly. "A poor little kid selling newspapers—"
"Where on earth did you pick him up?" gasped Ricketts, as the others gathered around.
"Where on earth did you find him?" Ricketts exclaimed, as the others gathered around.
"Out of the storm," said Mallerby. [141]"I found him huddled up in the vestibule of Colonel Mortimer's when I came out of the house ten minutes ago. The poor little devil was curled up almost into a knot, trying to keep warm, and lay there fast asleep, with his papers under his arm. I honestly believe that if I hadn't come out when I did it would have been too late. This is a fierce storm."
"Out of the storm," said Mallerby. [141] "I found him huddled up in the entrance of Colonel Mortimer's when I stepped out of the house ten minutes ago. The poor guy was curled up almost into a ball, trying to keep warm, and he was fast asleep with his papers tucked under his arm. I honestly believe that if I hadn't come out when I did, it would have been too late. This storm is brutal."
"He isn't—he isn't frozen, is he?" faltered Dobbleigh, as he gazed into the blue little face of the unconscious urchin, a face grimy with the frequent mixture of two dirty little fists and his tears.
“He isn’t—he isn’t frozen, is he?” Dobbleigh stammered, looking at the blue little face of the unconscious kid, a face dirty from the constant mix of two grimy little fists and his tears.
"Not quite," said Mallerby. "I think I got him in time, and he'll pull through, but he had a mighty close call[142] of it. By George, boys, just think of a wee bit of a tot like that, barely more than six years old, having to be out on a night like this! Why, the poor little cuss ought to be dreaming of Santa Claus in a nice warm bed somewhere, instead of picking pennies out of these arctic streets of ours, in order to keep body and soul together."
"Not quite," said Mallerby. "I think I got him just in time, and he’ll be okay, but he had a really close call[142]. By George, guys, just imagine a little kid like that, barely over six years old, having to be out on a night like this! The poor little guy should be dreaming of Santa Claus in a nice warm bed somewhere, instead of digging for pennies in these freezing streets of ours to stay alive."
Warmed by the glow of the fire, the youngster stirred as the doctor spoke, and a weary little voice, scarce higher than a whisper, broke the stillness of the room:
Warmed by the fire's glow, the young child stirred as the doctor spoke, and a tired little voice, barely louder than a whisper, shattered the stillness of the room:
"Extree! Bigges' blizzid in twenty years. Extree! Piper, sir?"
"Extra! Biggest blizzard in twenty years. Extra! Piper, sir?"
The seven sophisticated men of the world, gathered about the prostrate figure, stood silent, and three of them[143] turned away, lest the others should see the unmanly moisture of their eyes.
The seven refined men of the world, gathered around the fallen figure, stood in silence, and three of them[143] turned away so the others wouldn't notice the unmanly tears in their eyes.
"Here, by thunder!" gasped Ricketts, pulling a roll of bills from his pocket. "Hanged if I won't buy the whole edition."
"Wow, seriously!" gasped Ricketts, pulling out a stack of cash from his pocket. "I swear I'm going to buy every copy."
"That's all right, Billie," smiled the doctor. "What he needs just now is something less cold than money. We'll take him upstairs, and give him a warm bath, fill his little stomach up with milk, and put him to bed, with a nice fuzzy blanket to thaw out his icy little legs."
"That's okay, Billie," the doctor smiled. "What he needs right now is something warmer than money. We'll take him upstairs, give him a warm bath, fill his little stomach with milk, and put him to bed with a nice cozy blanket to warm up his chilly little legs."
"Splendid!" said Ricketts. "But, see here, doctor, I want to be in on this. Isn't there anything I can do to help?"
"Awesome!" said Ricketts. "But hey, doctor, I want to be involved in this. Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Yes," said the doctor. "You might make this proceeding regular by[144] putting him up as your guest on a ten-day card."
"Yes," said the doctor. "You could make this process official by[144] listing him as your guest on a ten-day card."
The little bundle of rags and humanity was tenderly carried to the regions above, and under the almost womanly ministrations of Doctor Mallerby was completely restored to cleanliness and warmth; what hunger he might have been conscious of was assuaged by a great bumper of milk, and then in the most sumptuous apartment the club was able to provide the thawed-out little gamin was put to bed.
The small bundle of rags and humanity was gently carried upstairs, and with the almost nurturing care of Doctor Mallerby, was fully restored to cleanliness and warmth; any hunger he might have felt was satisfied with a big glass of milk, and then in the finest room the club could offer, the warmed-up little street kid was tucked into bed.
The snowy sheets, the soft, downy pillows, and the soul-warming blankets, were not needed to lure him into the land of dreams, for the bitter experiences of the earlier hours of the night[145] still weighed heavily upon his eyelids, even if his mind and heart were no longer conscious of them. He presented a most appealing picture as he lay there, after settling back with a deep-drawn sigh of content into the kindly embrace of a bed seven or eight sizes too big for him, his little legs scarcely reaching halfway to the middle, and his tousled head of red hair forming a rubricated spot on the milk-white pillow-case as it stuck up out of the bed-clothes, and lay comfortably back in what was probably the first soft nest it had known since it lay on its mother's breast—if, indeed, it had ever known that rare felicity.
The snowy sheets, the soft, fluffy pillows, and the cozy blankets weren't needed to pull him into dreamland, because the harsh experiences of the earlier hours of the night[145] still weighed heavily on his eyelids, even if his mind and heart were no longer aware of them. He looked incredibly charming as he lay there, settling back with a deep contented sigh into the generous embrace of a bed that was seven or eight sizes too big for him, his small legs barely reaching halfway to the center, and his messy red hair making a bright spot on the crisp white pillowcase as it poked out from under the blankets, comfortably resting in what was probably the first soft nest it had known since it lay on its mother’s breast—if it had ever experienced such a rare joy at all.
"There," said the doctor, as the little foundling, with a suspicion of a[146] smile on his pursed-up lips, wandered more deeply into the land of Nod. "I guess he's fixed for the night, anyhow, and the rest of us can go about our business."
"There," said the doctor, as the little foundling, with a hint of a[146] smile on his pressed lips, drifted further into the land of Nod. "I suppose he's set for the night, and the rest of us can continue with our work."
The seven men tiptoed softly out of the room, and adjourned to the spacious chambers below, where for an hour they tried to lose themselves in the chaos of bridge. They were all fairly expert players at that noble social obsession, but nobody would have guessed it that night. No party of beginners ever played quite so atrociously, and yet no partner was found sufficiently outraged to be acrimonious. The fact was that not one of them was able to keep his mind on the cards, the thoughts of every one of them[147] reverting constantly to the wan little figure in that upper room.
The seven men quietly left the room and went down to the large lounge below, where for an hour they tried to distract themselves with a game of bridge. They were all pretty skilled players of that classic social pastime, but no one would have guessed it that night. No group of beginners ever played quite so terribly, yet no partner was upset enough to be hostile. The truth was, none of them could focus on the cards; their thoughts kept drifting back to the pale little figure in that upstairs room.
Finally Dobbleigh, after having reneged twice, and trumped his partner's trick more than once, threw down his cards, and drew away from the table impatiently.
Finally, Dobbleigh, after backing out twice and outplaying his partner's moves more than once, tossed his cards down and pulled away from the table in frustration.
"It's no use, fellows," he said. "I can't keep my eye on the ball. I'm going to bed."
"It's no use, guys," he said. "I can't focus on the ball. I'm heading to bed."
"Same here," said Ricketts. "Every blessed face card in this pack—queen, king, or jack—is a red-headed little newsboy to me, and every spade is a heart. It's me for Slumberland."
"Same here," said Ricketts. "Every single face card in this pack—queen, king, or jack—looks like a red-headed little newsboy to me, and every spade feels like a heart. I’m ready for dreamland."
So the party broke up, and within an hour the clubhouse went dark. Doctor Mallerby assumed possession of a single room adjoining that of their[148] little guest, so that he might keep an eye upon his newly acquired patient through the night, and the others distributed themselves about on the upper floors.
So the party ended, and within an hour, the clubhouse went dark. Doctor Mallerby took control of a single room next to their[148] little guest, so he could keep an eye on his new patient throughout the night, while the others settled in on the upper floors.
At midnight all was still as a sylvan dell in the depths of a winter's night, when no sounds of birds, or of rustling leaves, or of babbling waters break in upon the quiet of the scene.
At midnight, everything was as quiet as a forest glade on a winter night, with no sounds of birds, rustling leaves, or flowing water disturbing the peace of the scene.
It was three o'clock in the morning when Doctor Mallerby was roused suddenly from his sleep by the sound of stealthy footsteps in the adjoining room, where the little sleeper lay. He rose hastily from his couch, and entered the room, and was much surprised to see, in the dim light of the[149] hall lamp, no less a person than Dobbleigh, acting rather suspiciously, too.
It was three in the morning when Doctor Mallerby was abruptly awakened by the sound of quiet footsteps in the room next door, where the little one was sleeping. He quickly got up from his couch and went into the room, and was quite surprised to see, in the dim light of the[149] hallway lamp, none other than Dobbleigh, acting a bit suspiciously, too.
"Hullo, what are you up to, Dobby?" he queried, in a low whisper, as he espied that worthy, clad in a bath robe of too ample proportions, stealing out of the room.
"Hey, what are you doing, Dobby?" he asked in a quiet whisper as he saw the little guy, wearing an oversized bathrobe, sneaking out of the room.
"Why—nothing, Mallerby, nothing," replied Dobbleigh, evidently much embarrassed. "I—er—I just thought I'd run down, and see how the little chap was getting along. I'm something of a father myself, you know."
"Why—nothing, Mallerby, nothing," replied Dobbleigh, clearly quite embarrassed. "I—um—I just thought I'd come over and check on how the little guy was doing. I'm somewhat of a father myself, you know."
"What's all this?" continued the doctor, as his eye fell upon a number of strange-looking objects spread along the foot of the bed, far beyond the reach of the little toes of the sleeper—a[150] book of rhymes with a gorgeous red cover; a small tin trumpet, with a pleasing variety of stops; a box of tin soldiers; and a complete rough-rider's outfit, sword, cap, leggings, and blouse; not to mention an assortment of other things well calculated to delight the soul of youth.
"What's all this?" the doctor asked, spotting a bunch of odd-looking items spread out at the foot of the bed, far beyond the little toes of the sleeping child—a[150] book of rhymes with a beautiful red cover; a small tin trumpet with a nice range of stops; a box of tin soldiers; and a full rough-rider's outfit including a sword, cap, leggings, and blouse; not to mention a collection of other things sure to delight any child.
"Why," faltered Dobbleigh, his face turning as red as the flag of anarchy, "you see, I happened to have these things along with me, Mallerby—for my own kiddies, you know—and it sort of seemed a pity not to get some use out of them on Christmas morning, and so—Oh, well, you know, old man."
"Why," stuttered Dobbleigh, his face turning as red as a flag of anarchy, "you see, I happened to have these things with me, Mallerby—for my kids, you know—and it just seemed like a shame not to use them on Christmas morning, so—Oh, well, you know, old man."
The hand of the doctor gripped that of the intruder, and he tried to assure[151] him that he did know, but he couldn't. He choked up, and was about to turn away when the door began moving slowly upon its hinges once more, and Grantham entered, quite as much after the fashion of the stealthy-footed criminal as Dobbleigh. He, too, carried a variety of packages, and under each arm was a tightly packed golf stocking. He started back as he saw Dobbleigh and the doctor standing by the bedside, but it was too late. They had caught him in the act.
The doctor's hand gripped the intruder's, and he tried to reassure[151] him that he really did know, but he couldn't. He choked up and was about to turn away when the door slowly creaked open again, and Grantham entered, just as stealthily as Dobbleigh. He also had a bunch of packages with him, and under each arm was a tightly packed golf sock. He recoiled when he saw Dobbleigh and the doctor standing by the bedside, but it was too late. They had caught him in the act.
"Ah, Grantham," said Dobbleigh, with a grin. "Giving an imitation of a second-story man, eh? What are you going to do with those two stuffed clubs? Sandbag somebody?"
"Ah, Grantham," said Dobbleigh, grinning. "Doing your best impression of a burglar, huh? What are you planning to do with those two stuffed clubs? Knock someone out?"
"Yes," said Grantham sheepishly.[152] "I've had it in for the doctor for some time, and I thought I'd sneak down and give him one while he slept."
"Yeah," Grantham admitted awkwardly.[152] "I've been wanting to get back at the doctor for a while, and I thought I'd creep down and get him while he was asleep."
"All right, Granny," smiled the doctor. "Just hang your clubs on the foot of the bed here, and after I've got to sleep again, come in, and perpetrate the dastardly deed."
"Okay, Granny," the doctor smiled. "Just hang your clubs at the foot of the bed here, and after I fall asleep again, come in and carry out your sneaky plan."
"Fact is, boys," said Grantham seriously, "these things I was taking home to my youngsters are going to waste under the circumstances, and I had an idea it wouldn't hurt our guest here to wake up just once to a real Santa Claus feast."
"Honestly, guys," Grantham said seriously, "the stuff I was taking home to my kids is going to waste with everything going on, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt our guest here to experience a real Santa Claus feast just this once."
"Fine!" said the doctor. "Looks to me as if this youngster had thrown doubles. Dobby here has already fitted him out with a complete army,[153] and various other things, too numerous to mention."
"Great!" said the doctor. "It seems to me that this kid has hit the jackpot. Dobby here has already geared him up with a full army, [153] and a bunch of other stuff too many to list."
"Why, look who's here!" cried Dobbleigh, interrupting the doctor, as the door swung open a third time, and Seymour appeared, his raiment consisting of a blanket and a pair of carpet slippers, causing him in the dim light to give the impression of an Indian on the warpath. "By Jove, Tommy," he added, "all you need is a tomahawk in one hand, and a bunch of wooden cigars in the other, to pass for the puller-in of a tobacco shop. What are you after, sneaking in here like old Sitting Bull, at this unholy hour of the morning? After the kid's scalp?"
"Well, look who just walked in!" shouted Dobbleigh, cutting off the doctor as the door swung open for the third time, and Seymour stepped in, dressed in a blanket and a pair of carpet slippers, making him look like an Indian on the warpath in the dim light. "Honestly, Tommy," he continued, "all you need is a tomahawk in one hand and a bunch of wooden cigars in the other to look like the guy who runs a tobacco shop. What are you doing sneaking in here like old Sitting Bull at this crazy hour of the morning? After the kid's scalp?"
"Why, you see, Dobby," replied[154] Seymour, revealing a soft, furry cap and a pair of gloves that looked as if they had just been pulled off the paws of a bear cub, "I happened to be taking these things home for my boy Jim—he's daft on skating, and it's cold as the dickens up at Blairsport—but Jimmie can wait until New Year's for his, I guess. It came over me all of a sudden, while I was trying to get to sleep upstairs, that our honored guest might find them useful."
"Well, you see, Dobby," replied[154] Seymour, showing a cozy, furry hat and a pair of gloves that looked like they were just taken off a bear cub, "I was actually bringing these home for my boy Jim—he's crazy about skating, and it’s freezing at Blairsport—but I guess Jimmie can wait until New Year's for his. It just hit me suddenly, while I was trying to fall asleep upstairs, that our special guest might find them helpful."
"Look at those chapped little fists," said the doctor. "That's your answer, Seymour!"
"Check out those chapped little fists," said the doctor. "That's your answer, Seymour!"
"They're his, all right," said Seymour, sitting on the side of the bed, and comparing the gloves with the red little hands that lay inert on the counterpane. "By Jove!" he muttered, as he took one of the diminutive hands in his own. "They're like sandpaper."
"They're definitely his," said Seymour, sitting on the edge of the bed and comparing the gloves to the tiny, motionless hands resting on the blanket. "No way!" he muttered, as he picked up one of the small hands in his own. "They feel like sandpaper."
[155] "Selling papers in winter doesn't give these babies exactly the sort of paddies you'd expect to find on a mollycoddle," said the doctor.
[155] "Trying to sell papers in winter doesn’t give these kids the kind of advantages you'd expect for someone who's been overly pampered," said the doctor.
And so, here in the House of the Seven Santas, things went for the next hour. One by one all the prisoners of the night, with the exception of Ricketts, dropped in surreptitiously, to find that the ideas of each were common to them all, and the little mite under the bedclothes was destined soon to emerge from the riches of his dreams into a reality even richer and more substantial. The varied gifts[156] were ranged about the foot of the bed, the golf stockings bulging with sweets were hung at its head, and the big-hearted donors retired, this time to that real sleep which comes to him who has had the satisfaction of some kindly deed to look back upon.
And so, here in the House of the Seven Santas, things went on for the next hour. One by one, all the night’s visitors, except for Ricketts, quietly arrived, realizing that their thoughts were all the same. The little one under the blankets was about to wake up from his rich dreams into an even more amazing reality. The various gifts[156] were spread out at the foot of the bed, while the golf stockings filled with candy were hung at the head of it. The generous donors then settled down for a deep sleep, the kind that follows after doing a good deed.
"Poor Ricketts!" sighed the doctor, as he noted the one absentee. "How much these old bachelors lose at this season of the year!"
"Poor Ricketts!" the doctor sighed, noticing the one person missing. "These old bachelors really miss out this time of year!"
Two hours later, just as the first rays of the dawn began to light up the guest room, its small occupant opened his eyes, and began rubbing them violently with his fists.
Two hours later, just as the first rays of dawn started to brighten the guest room, its small occupant opened his eyes and began rubbing them hard with his fists.
"Chee!" was his first utterance, and then he sat up and gazed about him.[157] His unfamiliar surroundings naturally puzzled him, and a look of childish wonder came over his face. "Where'm I at?" he muttered. "Guess diss must be dat Heaven place de guys down to de mission talks about."
“Chee!” was his first word, and then he sat up and looked around him.[157] His strange surroundings clearly confused him, and a look of childish wonder appeared on his face. “Where am I?” he mumbled. “I guess this must be that Heaven place the guys at the mission talk about.”
He clambered out of bed, and as he did so his eyes took in the wondrous array of gifts spread before him.
He got out of bed, and as he did, his eyes took in the amazing selection of gifts laid out in front of him.
"Well, whad'd'yer know about dat?" he muttered. "What kind of a choint is diss, anyhow?"
"Well, what do you know about that?" he muttered. "What kind of a joke is this, anyway?"
As he attempted to walk across the room his small feet became entangled in the flowing skirt of Mallerby's bath robe, which he wore in lieu of a nightshirt.
As he tried to walk across the room, his tiny feet got caught in the long skirt of Mallerby's bathrobe, which he was wearing instead of a nightshirt.
"Dat's it," he said, as he tripped, and stumbled to the floor. "I'm dead, dat's what I am—and dese is my[158] anchel clo'es. Chee, but dey's hard to walk in. Seems to me I'd radder have me pants."
"That's it," he said as he tripped and fell to the floor. "I'm dead, that's what I am—and these are my[158] angel clothes. Gee, but they're hard to walk in. Seems to me I'd rather have my pants."
In a moment he had regained his feet, and the marvelous variety of toys began to reveal themselves in detail to his astounded vision.
In an instant, he was back on his feet, and the incredible array of toys started to unfold in detail before his amazed eyes.
"Will yer pipe de layout!" he gasped ecstatically. "Wonder what kid's goin' to have de luck to draw dem in his socks?"
"Will you check out the layout!" he exclaimed excitedly. "I wonder which kid is going to be lucky enough to find them in his socks?"
And just then the door opened again, and a sleepy-eyed old bachelor came stealing in, in the person of Ricketts. He wore his pajamas, and a yellow mackintosh thrown over his shoulders.
And just then the door opened again, and a sleepy-eyed old bachelor came walking in, in the form of Ricketts. He was wearing his pajamas and a yellow raincoat draped over his shoulders.
"Good morning, kiddie," he said, closing the door softly behind him. "Merry Christmas to you!"
"Good morning, kid," he said, gently closing the door behind him. "Merry Christmas to you!"
[159] "Merry Chrissmus yerself!" smiled the youngster. "Say, mister, kin yer tell me where I'm at? Diss ain't like my reg'lar lodgin' house, and I must ha' got in wrong somehow."
[159] “Merry Christmas to you!” smiled the young person. “Hey, sir, can you tell me where I am? This isn’t like my usual place to stay, and I must have ended up in the wrong spot somehow.”
"Where is your regular lodging house?" asked Ricketts, seating himself on the side of the bed.
"Where's your usual place to stay?" asked Ricketts, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Oh, any old place where dere's room fer me an' me feet at de same time," replied the boy. "Packin' boxes mostly in de winter-time, and de docks in de summer."
"Oh, anywhere there's space for me and my feet at the same time," replied the boy. "Mostly packing boxes in the winter, and at the docks in the summer."
"But your parents?" demanded Ricketts. "Where are they?"
"But what about your parents?" Ricketts asked. "Where are they?"
"Me what?" asked the boy.
"Me what?" asked the kid.
"Your parents—your father and mother?" explained Ricketts.
"Your parents—your dad and mom?" explained Ricketts.
"I ain't never had no mudder,"[160] said the boy. "But me fadder—well, me an' him had a scrap over me wages las' summer, and I ain't seen him since."
"I've never had a mother,"[160] said the boy. "But my father—well, he and I had a fight over my wages last summer, and I haven't seen him since."
"Your wages, eh?" smiled Ricketts. The idea of this little tad earning wages struck him as being rather humorous.
"Your wages, huh?" smiled Ricketts. The thought of this little guy earning wages seemed pretty funny to him.
"He t'ought I ought to give him de whole wad," said the boy, "and when he licked me for spendin' a nickel on meself and a fr'en' o' mine las' Fourth o' July, I give him de skidoo."
"He thought I should give him the whole amount," said the boy, "and when he punished me for spending a nickel on myself and a friend of mine last Fourth of July, I gave him the slip."
"I see," said Ricketts, regarding the little guest with a singular light in his eye. "You've got a fine lot of stuff here from old Santa Claus, haven't you?"
"I see," said Ricketts, looking at the little guest with a unique spark in his eye. "You've got a great collection of things here from old Santa Claus, haven't you?"
[161] "What, me?" asked the boy, gazing earnestly into Ricketts' face. "Is dese here t'ings for me?"
[161] "What, me?" asked the boy, looking intently at Ricketts. "Are these things for me?"
"Why, of course," said Ricketts. "Old Daddy Santa Claus on his rounds last night found you occupying a handsome apartment on Fifth Avenue, but the steam heat had been turned off, and, fearing you might catch cold, he picked you up and brought you to his own home. He'd been looking for you all day."
"Of course," said Ricketts. "Last night, Santa Claus found you in a nice apartment on Fifth Avenue, but the heat was off, and worried you might get sick, he took you to his own home. He had been searching for you all day."
"And dese is—really—fer me?" cried the child.
"And this is—really—for me?" cried the child.
"Every blessed stick and shred of them," said Ricketts fervently.
"Every single piece of them," Ricketts said passionately.
The boy squatted flat upon the floor, completely staggered by the sudden revelation of his wealth.
The boy crouched flat on the floor, completely stunned by the sudden discovery of his wealth.
And then began a romp through a veritable toyland, in which two lonely wanderers through the vales of life had the first taste of joys they had never known before; the red-headed little son of the streets getting the first glimpse of kindness that his starved little soul had ever enjoyed; the confirmed old bachelor finding the only outlet that fate had ever vouchsafed him for those instincts of fatherhood which are the priceless heritage of us all.
And then they started a fun adventure through a true toyland, where two lonely travelers in life experienced joys they had never felt before; the little red-headed street kid getting his first taste of kindness that his starving little soul had ever known; the lifelong bachelor discovering the only chance that fate had ever given him to express those nurturing instincts that are a precious part of being human.
Small wonder that the play waxed fast, furious, and noisy. The lad, up to this time confronted ever with the pressing necessities of life, developed a capacity for play that was all the more[163] intense for the privations of his limited years; the bachelor finding the dam of his pent-up feelings loosened into an overwhelming flood of pure joyousness. There were cries of joy, and shrieks of laughter, and when, with some difficulty, because of his lack of experience, Ricketts finally succeeded in getting the lad arrayed in his rough-rider suit, whose buckles and buttons seemed aggravatingly small for hands that had developed nothing but thumbs, the tin trumpet, with all the stops save the one that would silence it even temporarily, was brought into play; and the battles that were fought in the ensuing hour between a noble army of warriors, led by the youngster against himself as either a Spanish army or a wild Indian[164] tribe, have no equals in the annals of warfare.
It's no surprise that the play became fast, furious, and loud. The boy, who had always been focused on the harsh realities of life, developed a knack for play that was even more intense due to the struggles of his young years; the bachelor found that his pent-up emotions were released in a joyful outpouring. There were shouts of happiness and bursts of laughter, and when, with some effort due to his lack of experience, Ricketts finally got the boy dressed in his rough-rider outfit, the buckles and buttons seemed frustratingly tiny for hands that were used to just thumbs. The tin trumpet, with all the stops except the one that would quiet it even for a moment, was then put to use; and the battles fought in the next hour between a brave army of warriors, led by the boy against himself as either a Spanish army or a wild Indian tribe, were unmatched in the history of warfare.
The morning was pretty well advanced when the other sleeping Santas were roused from their dreams by shouts of victory, to be confronted upon investigation by a prostrate enemy, in the person of Ricketts, lying face downward upon the floor, with a diminutive rough-rider standing upon the small of his back, waving a nickel sword in the air, while he blew ear-splitting blasts upon his trumpet to announce the arrival of the conqueror.
The morning was already well underway when the other sleeping Santas were stirred from their dreams by shouts of triumph. Upon checking, they found their vanquished foe, Ricketts, flat on the floor, with a tiny rough-rider standing on his lower back, waving a nickel sword in the air, while blowing deafening blasts on his trumpet to announce the conqueror's arrival.
"Well, well, well!" said Doctor Mallerby, with a loud laugh, as he and the others burst into the room. "What's going on? Another San Juan Hill?"
"Well, well, well!" laughed Doctor Mallerby loudly as he and the others came into the room. "What's happening? Another San Juan Hill?"
[165] "The same," panted Ricketts, from his coign of disadvantage. "And I'm the hill. All that remains now is for some of you fellows to hurry up, and get a bath towel from somewhere, and hoist the flag of truce."
[165] "The same," Ricketts gasped from his awkward position. "And I'm the hill. All that's left now is for some of you guys to hurry up, grab a bath towel from somewhere, and raise the flag of truce."
The morning passed, and the storm showing some signs of abatement, the exiled men began to cherish hopes of getting home before night. Communication with the railway station elicited the gratifying news that about four o'clock in the afternoon a train would be sent forth to carry the marooned suburbanites back to the scenes of their domestic desires.
The morning went by, and as the storm started to ease up, the exiled men began to hope they could get home before nightfall. Contacting the railway station revealed the good news that around four o'clock in the afternoon, a train would be sent out to take the stranded suburbanites back to their homes.
Meanwhile, the honored guest received to the full all the attention of[166] which the Seven Santas were capable; only in making up for the lost playtime of the past the guest proved to be untiring, while the Seven Santas were compelled now and then to work in relays in order to keep up with the game.
Meanwhile, the honored guest received all the attention[166] that the Seven Santas could provide; only in making up for lost playtime from the past did the guest prove to be tireless, while the Seven Santas had to take turns every now and then to keep up with the game.
Hence it was that at various hours of the day dignified business men were to be seen squatting upon the floor, irrespective of that dignity, running iron cars over tin railway tracks, arranging the serried ranks of tin soldiers in battle array, answering strident summonses to battle sounded on that everlasting tin trumpet, and, strange to say, joining their young friend in feasts of candy and other digestion-destroying sweets which they had forever eschewed long years before.
So it was that at different times throughout the day, respectable businessmen could be seen sitting on the floor, ignoring their dignity, pushing toy trains over metal tracks, setting up rows of toy soldiers for battle, answering loud calls to action from a never-ending toy trumpet, and, curiously enough, joining their young friend in indulging in candy and other sugary treats they had sworn off many years ago.
[167] "I suppose I'll suffer for this," said Grantham, as at the command of his superior officer he swallowed the handle of a peppermint walking stick, after fletcherizing it carefully for several minutes, "but, by ginger, it's worth it."
[167] "I guess I'll pay for this," Grantham said, as at the request of his boss he swallowed the handle of a peppermint walking stick, after meticulously chewing it for several minutes, "but, wow, it’s worth it."
"You'll be all right, Gran," laughed the doctor. "If worst comes to the worst, I'll blow you to a pony of ipecac, unless you prefer squills."
"You'll be fine, Gran," the doctor chuckled. "If things get really bad, I'll give you a dose of ipecac, unless you’d rather have squills."
But at last even the strenuous nature of the guest began to show signs of the day's inroads upon his strength, and when the hour for the departure of the suburbanites came shortly before four, and they all gathered around to bid him their adieus, they were hardly surprised to find him cuddled up on the bearskin[168] rug before the fire, fast asleep, with his tin trumpet hugged tightly to his breast.
But finally, even the energetic guest started to show signs of being worn out by the day, and when it was time for the people from the suburbs to leave just before four o'clock, and they all gathered around to say their goodbyes, they were hardly surprised to find him curled up on the bearskin[168] rug in front of the fire, fast asleep, with his tin trumpet held tightly against his chest.
"We're a great lot!" said Dobbleigh suddenly. "We can't all go off, and leave him here alone. What the dickens are we going to do?"
"We're a great bunch!" said Dobbleigh suddenly. "We can't all just leave him here alone. What in the world are we going to do?"
"Don't bother," said Ricketts, from the depths of the lounge, where he had been trying for some minutes to get a much-needed rest. "I—I—er—I haven't anything on hand, boys. Leave him to me. I'll take care of him."
"Don’t worry about it," said Ricketts, from the back of the lounge, where he had been trying for a while to get some much-needed rest. "I—I—uh—I don’t have anything available, guys. Just leave him to me. I’ll handle it."
"I move we all meet here to-morrow," said Grantham, "and see what's to be done with the kid."
"I suggest we all meet here tomorrow," said Grantham, "and figure out what to do with the kid."
Ricketts rose up from the lounge, and started to speak, but he was interrupted by the doctor.
Ricketts got up from the lounge and started to speak, but the doctor cut him off.
[169] "Did any of you think to ask the little tad his name?" he inquired.
[169] "Did any of you think to ask the little guy his name?" he asked.
"That's where I come in, boys," said Ricketts. "You needn't bother your heads about his name or his to-morrow—I'll take care of both. You men have provided him with the joys of to-day—pretty substantial joys, too, as those of us who have helped him to enjoy them can testify. As a hearthless old bachelor, bundleless and forlorn, I was unable to qualify on the toy end of things, but when it comes to names, I'll give him one as my contribution to his Christmas possessions."
"That’s where I step in, guys," said Ricketts. "You don’t need to stress over his name or what’s happening tomorrow—I’ll handle both. You all have given him the joys of today—pretty significant joys, too, as those of us who have helped him enjoy them can confirm. As a lonely old bachelor, without any family or attachments, I couldn’t contribute on the gift side of things, but when it comes to names, I’ll give him one as my gift to his Christmas collection."
"Good for you, Billie!" laughed Dobbleigh. "Would you mind telling[170] us what it is to be, so that we can put him on our visiting lists?"
"Good for you, Billie!" laughed Dobbleigh. "Could you tell[170] us what it is to be, so we can add him to our visiting lists?"
"Not in the least," returned Ricketts, with an affectionate glance at the boy. "He is to be known henceforth as William Ricketts, Junior."
"Not at all," Ricketts replied, giving the boy a warm look. "From now on, he will be known as William Ricketts, Junior."
"William Ricketts, Junior?" cried the others, almost in one voice.
"William Ricketts, Junior?" shouted the others, almost in unison.
"Precisely," said Ricketts, turning and facing them. "From now on you fellows will have to quit putting it all over me because you have children, and I haven't. I've come into a ready-made family—rather unexpectedly, but there it is. It's mine, and I'm going to keep it. I've been without one too long, and after what I have tasted this day I find that I have acquired a thirst for paternity that can[171] never be cured. To-morrow I propose to adopt our small guest here formally by due process of law."
"Exactly," Ricketts said, turning to face them. "From now on, you guys need to stop using the fact that you have kids against me just because I don’t. I’ve unexpectedly ended up with a ready-made family, and it’s mine, so I’m going to keep it. I’ve gone too long without one, and after what I experienced today, I realize I’ve developed an unquenchable thirst for fatherhood that can[171] never be satisfied. Tomorrow, I plan to formally adopt our little guest here through the proper legal channels."
"But where do we come in on this?" cried Grantham. "It's bully of you, old man, but we can't permit you to shoulder the whole burden of this boy's—"
"But where do we fit into this?" exclaimed Grantham. "That's great of you, man, but we can't let you take on the entire responsibility for this kid's—"
"Shut up, Gran!" retorted Ricketts, with an affectation of fine scorn. "You and the rest of this bunch are nothing but a lot of blooming uncles. And by the way, gentlemen," he added, with a courtly bow, "I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kindness to my son. Good night."
"Shut up, Grandma!" Ricketts snapped, pretending to be really scornful. "You and this whole group are just a bunch of pathetic losers. And by the way, gentlemen," he added, with a polite bow, "I truly appreciate all your kindness to my son. Good night."
And with that, six of the exiles passed out into the twilight, and hurried back to their own firesides, leaving Ricketts to his own.
And with that, six of the exiles stepped into the twilight and quickly returned to their own homes, leaving Ricketts by himself.
[172] And that is why, too, that the club servants, when they came to make their rounds that night before turning out the lights, were surprised to find old Billie Ricketts lying fast asleep in the warm embrace of one of the richly upholstered armchairs of the lounging room, before the blazing log fire on the hearth, with a mite of a boy curled up in his lap, his little red head snuggled close to the manly chest of his protector, and a happy little smile upon his lips, that showed that his dreams were sweet, and that in those arms he felt himself secure from the trials of life.
[172] And that's why the club staff, when they came through to check on things that night before turning off the lights, were surprised to find old Billie Ricketts fast asleep in one of the plush armchairs of the lounge, in front of the crackling fire, with a tiny boy curled up in his lap, his little red head resting against the strong chest of his protector, and a happy little smile on his face, showing that his dreams were sweet and that he felt safe from the struggles of life in those arms.
There was that upon the faces of both that gave the watchers pause, and they refrained from waking them, merely turning out the electric lights,[173] and tiptoeing softly out of the room, leaving the sleepers bathed in the mellow glow of the dancing flames.
There was something in the expressions of both that made the onlookers hesitate, and they decided not to wake them, simply switching off the lights,[173] and quietly leaving the room, leaving the sleepers surrounded by the warm light of the flickering flames.
Two lonely hearts had come into their own in the House of the Seven Santas!
Two lonely hearts had found themselves in the House of the Seven Santas!
THE END.
Transcriber's Note:
Transcriber's Note:
Spelling and hyphenation have been retained as they appear in the original publication. The following change has been made:
Spelling and hyphenation have been kept as they are in the original publication. The following change has been made:
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