This is a modern-English version of Pierre; or The Ambiguities, originally written by Melville, Herman. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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PIERRE:

OR,

THE AMBIGUITIES.



BY
HERMAN MELVILLE.

BY
HERMAN MELVILLE.



NEW YORK:
HARPER & BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS
329 & 331 PEARL STREET,
FRANKLIN SQUARE.
1852.

NEW YORK:
HARPER & BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS
329 & 331 PEARL STREET,
FRANKLIN SQUARE.
1852.



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Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1852, by
HERMAN MELVILLE,
In the Clerk’s Office of the Southern District of New York.
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/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1852, by
HERMAN MELVILLE,
In the Clerk’s Office of the Southern District of New York.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\







TO

Greylock’s Most Excellent Majesty.

TO

The Most Excellent Majesty of Greylock.

IN old times authors were proud of the privilege of dedicating their works to Majesty. A right noble custom, which we of Berkshire must revive. For whether we will or no, Majesty is all around us here in Berkshire, sitting as in a grand Congress of Vienna of majestical hill-tops, and eternally challenging our homage.

IN old times, authors took pride in dedicating their works to royalty. It’s a noble tradition that we in Berkshire should bring back. Whether we like it or not, royalty is all around us here in Berkshire, standing like a grand Congress of Vienna on majestic hilltops, constantly demanding our respect.

But since the majestic mountain, Greylock—my own more immediate sovereign lord and king—hath now, for innumerable ages, been the one grand dedicatee of the earliest rays of all the Berkshire mornings, I know not how his Imperial Purple Majesty (royal-born: Porphyrogenitus) will receive the dedication of my own poor solitary ray.

But since the majestic mountain, Greylock—my own more immediate sovereign lord and king—has been the grand recipient of the first light of all the Berkshire mornings for countless ages, I’m not sure how his Imperial Purple Majesty (royal-born: Porphyrogenitus) will accept the dedication of my own humble solitary ray.

Nevertheless, forasmuch as I, dwelling with my loyal neighbors, the Maples and the Beeches, in the amphitheater over which his central majesty presides, have received his most bounteous and unstinted fertilizations, it is but meet, that I here devoutly kneel, and render up my gratitude, whether, thereto, The Most Excellent Purple Majesty of Greylock benignantly incline his hoary crown or no.

Nevertheless, since I, living with my loyal neighbors, the Maples and the Beeches, in the area overseen by his central majesty, have received his generous and abundant blessings, it is only fitting that I humbly kneel here and express my gratitude, whether The Most Excellent Purple Majesty of Greylock graciously acknowledges it or not.

Pittsfield, Mass.

Pittsfield, MA

PIERRE.

BOOK I.
PIERRE JUST EMERGING FROM HIS TEENS.

I.

THERE are some strange summer mornings in the country, when he who is but a sojourner from the city shall early walk forth into the fields, and be wonder-smitten with the trance-like aspect of the green and golden world. Not a flower stirs; the trees forget to wave; the grass itself seems to have ceased to grow; and all Nature, as if suddenly become conscious of her own profound mystery, and feeling no refuge from it but silence, sinks into this wonderful and indescribable repose.

There are some unusual summer mornings in the countryside when someone just visiting from the city walks out into the fields and is amazed by the dreamlike beauty of the green and golden world. Not a flower moves; the trees forget to sway; the grass seems to have stopped growing; and all of Nature, as if suddenly aware of its own deep mystery and finding no escape from it but silence, settles into this amazing and indescribable stillness.

Such was the morning in June, when, issuing from the embowered and high-gabled old home of his fathers, Pierre, dewily refreshed and spiritualized by sleep, gayly entered the long, wide, elm-arched street of the village, and half unconsciously bent his steps toward a cottage, which peeped into view near the end of the vista.

Such was the June morning when Pierre, feeling refreshed and uplifted from sleep, cheerfully stepped out of his family’s old home with its beautiful gabled roof. He walked into the long, wide street of the village lined with elm trees and, almost without realizing it, headed toward a cottage that came into sight at the end of the street.

The verdant trance lay far and wide; and through it nothing came but the brindled kine, dreamily wandering to their pastures, followed, not driven, by ruddy-cheeked, white-footed boys.

The lush green stretch went on for miles, and the only ones moving through it were the speckled cows, wandering dreamily to their pastures, accompanied—not pushed along—by rosy-cheeked boys with white socks.

As touched and bewitched by the loveliness of this silence, Pierre neared the cottage, and lifted his eyes, he swiftly paused, fixing his glance upon one upper, open casement there. Why now this impassioned, youthful pause? Why this enkindled cheek and eye? Upon the sill of the casement, a snow-white glossy pillow reposes, and a trailing shrub has softly rested a rich, crimson flower against it.

As Pierre was enchanted by the beauty of the silence, he approached the cottage and looked up, abruptly stopping. He focused his gaze on an upper open window. Why this sudden, intense pause? What’s with the flushed cheeks and bright eyes? On the windowsill, a smooth, white pillow lies, and a trailing plant has gently placed a vibrant red flower against it.

Well mayst thou seek that pillow, thou odoriferous flower, thought Pierre; not an hour ago, her own cheek must have rested there. “Lucy!”

Well, you might want to look for that pillow, you fragrant flower, thought Pierre; just an hour ago, her cheek must have been resting there. “Lucy!”

“Pierre!”

“Pierre!”

As heart rings to heart those voices rang, and for a moment, in the bright hush of the morning, the two stood silently but ardently eying each other, beholding mutual reflections of a boundless admiration and love.

As hearts connect, those voices echoed, and for a brief moment, in the bright stillness of the morning, the two stood silently yet passionately gazing at each other, reflecting a deep admiration and love for one another.

“Nothing but Pierre,” laughed the youth, at last; “thou hast forgotten to bid me good-morning.”

“Nothing but Pierre,” laughed the young man, finally; “you forgot to say good morning to me.”

“That would be little. Good-mornings, good-evenings, good days, weeks, months, and years to thee, Pierre;—bright Pierre!—Pierre!”

“That would be little. Good mornings, good evenings, good days, weeks, months, and years to you, Pierre;—bright Pierre!—Pierre!”

Truly, thought the youth, with a still gaze of inexpressible fondness; truly the skies do ope, and this invoking angel looks down.—“I would return thee thy manifold good-mornings, Lucy, did not that presume thou had’st lived through a night; and by Heaven, thou belong’st to the regions of an infinite day!”

"Really," thought the young man, gazing with an indescribable affection; "truly the skies are opening up, and this angel is looking down."—“I would give you back all those good mornings, Lucy, if that didn't assume you've experienced a night; and by Heaven, you belong to the realms of endless day!”

“Fie, now, Pierre; why should ye youths always swear when ye love!”

“Come on, Pierre; why do you young people always curse when you’re in love?”

“Because in us love is profane, since it mortally reaches toward the heaven in ye!”

“Because in us love is ordinary, since it deadly reaches toward the heavens in you!”

“There thou fly’st again, Pierre; thou art always circumventing me so. Tell me, why should ye youths ever show so sweet an expertness in turning all trifles of ours into trophies of yours?”

“There you go again, Pierre; you're always getting the best of me. Tell me, why do you young people always excel at turning all our little moments into your own achievements?”

“I know not how that is, but ever was it our fashion to do.” And shaking the casement shrub, he dislodged the flower, and conspicuously fastened it in his bosom.—“I must away now, Lucy; see! under these colors I march.”

“I don’t know how that is, but it’s always been our way.” And shaking the window shrub, he knocked the flower loose and prominently pinned it to his chest. —“I have to go now, Lucy; look! I march under these colors.”

“Bravissimo! oh, my only recruit!”

“Awesome! Oh, my only recruit!”


II.

PIERRE was the only son of an affluent, and haughty widow; a lady who externally furnished a singular example of the preservative and beautifying influences of unfluctuating rank, health, and wealth, when joined to a fine mind of medium culture, uncankered by any inconsolable grief, and never worn by sordid cares. In mature age, the rose still miraculously clung to her cheek; litheness had not yet completely uncoiled itself from her waist, nor smoothness unscrolled itself from her brow, nor diamondness departed from her eyes. So that when lit up and bediademed by ball-room lights, Mrs. Glendinning still eclipsed far younger charms, and had she chosen to encourage them, would have been followed by a train of infatuated suitors, little less young than her own son Pierre.

PIERRE was the only son of a wealthy and proud widow; a woman who showcased a clear example of the preserving and beautifying effects of consistent social status, good health, and money, combined with a sharp mind of average education, untouched by deep sorrow, and never burdened by petty worries. Even in her mature years, a rosy glow still remarkably lingered on her cheeks; her figure hadn’t completely lost its grace, nor had the smoothness faded from her forehead, and the sparkle hadn’t left her eyes. So, when illuminated by the lights of the ballroom and adorned with jewelry, Mrs. Glendinning still overshadowed much younger beauties, and had she chosen to invite their attention, she would have been followed by a line of infatuated admirers, not much younger than her own son, Pierre.

But a reverential and devoted son seemed lover enough for this widow Bloom; and besides all this, Pierre when namelessly annoyed, and sometimes even jealously transported by the too ardent admiration of the handsome youths, who now and then, caught in unintended snares, seemed to entertain some insane hopes of wedding this unattainable being; Pierre had more than once, with a playful malice, openly sworn, that the man—gray-beard, or beardless—who should dare to propose marriage to his mother, that man would by some peremptory unrevealed agency immediately disappear from the earth.

But a respectful and devoted son seemed like enough of a partner for this widow, Bloom. Additionally, whenever Pierre felt annoyed without reason, and sometimes even overwhelmed with jealousy at the intense admiration shown by the handsome young men who occasionally got caught up in their own unrealistic dreams of marrying this unattainable woman, Pierre had more than once, with a teasing malice, openly vowed that any man—whether old or young—who dared to propose marriage to his mother would, by some mysterious and undisclosed means, immediately vanish from the earth.

This romantic filial love of Pierre seemed fully returned by the triumphant maternal pride of the widow, who in the clear-cut lineaments and noble air of the son, saw her own graces strangely translated into the opposite sex. There was a striking personal resemblance between them; and as the mother seemed to have long stood still in her beauty, heedless of the passing years; so Pierre seemed to meet her half-way, and by a splendid precocity of form and feature, almost advanced himself to that mature stand-point in Time, where his pedestaled mother so long had stood. In the playfulness of their unclouded love, and with that strange license which a perfect confidence and mutual understanding at all points, had long bred between them, they were wont to call each other brother and sister. Both in public and private this was their usage; nor when thrown among strangers, was this mode of address ever suspected for a sportful assumption; since the amaranthiness of Mrs. Glendinning fully sustained this youthful pretension.—Thus freely and lightsomely for mother and son flowed on the pure joined current of life. But as yet the fair river had not borne its waves to those sideways repelling rocks, where it was thenceforth destined to be forever divided into two unmixing streams.

The romantic love Pierre felt for his mother seemed fully matched by the proud joy of the widow, who, in her son’s clear features and noble presence, saw her own beauty reflected in a different form. There was a strong resemblance between them; while the mother appeared to have frozen in her beauty, oblivious to the passing years, Pierre almost seemed to meet her halfway, with his impressive maturity in both appearance and demeanor, approaching the state of timelessness where his mother had long stood. In the playful ease of their unwavering love, along with the unique freedom that deep trust and understanding had fostered between them, they often referred to each other as brother and sister. This was their standard practice both in public and in private, and even among strangers, this term of endearment was never viewed as mere playful banter; the ageless grace of Mrs. Glendinning supported this youthful claim. Thus, the clear and joyful bond of life flowed freely for mother and son. But up to that point, the beautiful river had yet to encounter the rocks that would eventually force it to split into two separate streams.

An excellent English author of these times enumerating the prime advantages of his natal lot, cites foremost, that he first saw the rural light. So with Pierre. It had been his choice fate to have been born and nurtured in the country, surrounded by scenery whose uncommon loveliness was the perfect mould of a delicate and poetic mind; while the popular names of its finest features appealed to the proudest patriotic and family associations of the historic line of Glendinning. On the meadows which sloped away from the shaded rear of the manorial mansion, far to the winding river, an Indian battle had been fought, in the earlier days of the colony, and in that battle the paternal great-grandfather of Pierre, mortally wounded, had sat unhorsed on his saddle in the grass, with his dying voice, still cheering his men in the fray. This was Saddle-Meadows, a name likewise extended to the mansion and the village. Far beyond these plains, a day’s walk for Pierre, rose the storied heights, where in the Revolutionary War his grandfather had for several months defended a rude but all-important stockaded fort, against the repeated combined assaults of Indians, Tories, and Regulars. From before that fort, the gentlemanly, but murderous half-breed, Brandt, had fled, but had survived to dine with General Glendinning, in the amicable times which followed that vindictive war. All the associations of Saddle-Meadows were full of pride to Pierre. The Glendinning deeds by which their estate had so long been held, bore the cyphers of three Indian kings, the aboriginal and only conveyancers of those noble woods and plains. Thus loftily, in the days of his circumscribed youth, did Pierre glance along the background of his race; little recking of that maturer and larger interior development, which should forever deprive these things of their full power of pride in his soul.

A great English author from this era highlights the main advantages of his birthplace, first mentioning that he saw the beauty of the countryside. The same goes for Pierre. He was fortunate to be born and raised in the countryside, surrounded by stunning landscapes that shaped his delicate and poetic mind; the famous names of its beautiful features connected to the proud patriotic and family history of the Glendinning legacy. On the meadows that sloped down from the back of the manor house to the winding river, an Indian battle took place in the early days of the colony, where Pierre's great-great-grandfather, mortally wounded, sat on his saddle in the grass, still cheering on his men as he fought. This was Saddle-Meadows, a name also used for the mansion and the village. Far beyond these fields, just a day's walk for Pierre, rose the famous heights where his grandfather once defended a rough but crucial fort during the Revolutionary War against repeated attacks from Indians, Loyalists, and Regulars. The gentlemanly yet ruthless half-breed, Brandt, had fled from that fort but lived on to dine with General Glendinning in the friendly times following that brutal war. All the memories of Saddle-Meadows filled Pierre with pride. The Glendinning achievements that allowed them to hold their estate bore the seals of three Indian kings, the original and only grantors of those noble woods and plains. So grandly, in his limited youth, Pierre looked back at his heritage, unaware of the deeper personal growth that would eventually lessen the pride these associations held in his heart.

But the breeding of Pierre would have been unwisely contracted, had his youth been unintermittingly passed in these rural scenes. At a very early period he had begun to accompany his father and mother—and afterwards his mother alone—in their annual visits to the city; where naturally mingling in a large and polished society, Pierre had insensibly formed himself in the airier graces of life, without enfeebling the vigor derived from a martial race, and fostered in the country’s clarion air.

But Pierre’s upbringing would have been a mistake if he had spent all his youth in these rural areas. From a young age, he started going with his father and mother—later just his mother—on their yearly trips to the city, where he naturally blended into a large, refined social scene. Without even realizing it, Pierre cultivated the lighter, more elegant aspects of life, while still maintaining the strength that came from his warrior lineage and the fresh country air.

Nor while thus liberally developed in person and manners, was Pierre deficient in a still better and finer culture. Not in vain had he spent long summer afternoons in the deep recesses of his father’s fastidiously picked and decorous library; where the Spenserian nymphs had early led him into many a maze of all-bewildering beauty. Thus, with a graceful glow on his limbs, and soft, imaginative flames in his heart, did this Pierre glide toward maturity, thoughtless of that period of remorseless insight, when all these delicate warmths should seem frigid to him, and he should madly demand more ardent fires.

Nor, while being so generously developed in body and character, was Pierre lacking in an even better and more refined culture. He hadn’t wasted those long summer afternoons spent in the cozy corners of his father’s carefully curated and elegant library; where the Spenserian nymphs had early led him into many puzzling paths of breathtaking beauty. Thus, with a graceful glow in his limbs and soft, imaginative flames in his heart, Pierre glided toward maturity, unaware of that time of relentless insight, when all these gentle warmths would seem cold to him, and he would desperately seek more intense fires.

Nor had that pride and love which had so bountifully provided for the youthful nurture of Pierre, neglected his culture in the deepest element of all. It had been a maxim with the father of Pierre, that all gentlemanhood was vain; all claims to it preposterous and absurd, unless the primeval gentleness and golden humanities of religion had been so thoroughly wrought into the complete texture of the character, that he who pronounced himself gentleman, could also rightfully assume the meek, but kingly style of Christian. At the age of sixteen, Pierre partook with his mother of the Holy Sacraments.

Nor had the pride and love that had generously supported Pierre's upbringing overlooked his education in the most important aspect of all. Pierre's father believed that all claims to gentlemanliness were pointless and ridiculous unless the fundamental kindness and golden values of religion were deeply woven into the very fabric of one's character. Only then could someone who called themselves a gentleman also rightly claim the humble yet regal status of a Christian. At the age of sixteen, Pierre shared the Holy Sacraments with his mother.

It were needless, and more difficult, perhaps, to trace out precisely the absolute motives which prompted these youthful vows. Enough, that as to Pierre had descended the numerous other noble qualities of his ancestors; and as he now stood heir to their forests and farms; so by the same insensible sliding process, he seemed to have inherited their docile homage to a venerable Faith, which the first Glendinning had brought over sea, from beneath the shadow of an English minister. Thus in Pierre was the complete polished steel of the gentleman, girded with Religion’s silken sash; and his great-grandfather’s soldierly fate had taught him that the generous sash should, in the last bitter trial, furnish its wearer with Glory’s shroud; so that what through life had been worn for Grace’s sake, in death might safely hold the man. But while thus all alive to the beauty and poesy of his father’s faith, Pierre little foresaw that this world hath a secret deeper than beauty, and Life some burdens heavier than death.

It would be unnecessary, and maybe even harder, to pinpoint exactly the true reasons behind these youthful promises. What's important is that Pierre inherited many noble qualities from his ancestors; just as he now held the rights to their forests and farms, he seemed to have absorbed their respectful devotion to a revered Faith that the first Glendinning had brought across the sea from the influence of an English minister. In Pierre was the complete refinement of a gentleman, adorned with Religion’s delicate sash; and his great-grandfather’s soldierly fate had taught him that this generous sash should ultimately provide its wearer with Glory’s shroud in the final, harsh trial, so that what had been worn for the sake of Grace during life could safely embrace the man in death. However, while he was so attuned to the beauty and poetry of his father’s faith, Pierre was unaware that this world holds a deeper secret than beauty, and that life can carry burdens heavier than death.

So perfect to Pierre had long seemed the illuminated scroll of his life thus far, that only one hiatus was discoverable by him in that sweetly-writ manuscript. A sister had been omitted from the text. He mourned that so delicious a feeling as fraternal love had been denied him. Nor could the fictitious title, which he so often lavished upon his mother, at all supply the absent reality. This emotion was most natural; and the full cause and reason of it even Pierre did not at that time entirely appreciate. For surely a gentle sister is the second best gift to a man; and it is first in point of occurrence; for the wife comes after. He who is sisterless, is as a bachelor before his time. For much that goes to make up the deliciousness of a wife, already lies in the sister.

So perfect the illuminated scroll of Pierre's life had long seemed to him that he could only find one gap in that beautifully written story. A sister was missing from the text. He lamented that such a wonderful feeling as fraternal love had been denied to him. No matter how often he affectionately referred to his mother with a fictitious title, it could not replace the reality of having a sister. This feeling was completely natural, and even Pierre didn’t fully understand the reason for it at that time. After all, a gentle sister is the second-best gift a man can have; and it comes first in terms of timing since a wife comes afterward. A man without a sister is like a bachelor before his time. Much of what makes having a wife so delightful can already be found in a sister.

“Oh, had my father but had a daughter!” cried Pierre; “some one whom I might love, and protect, and fight for, if need be. It must be a glorious thing to engage in a mortal quarrel on a sweet sister’s behalf! Now, of all things, would to heaven, I had a sister!”

“Oh, if only my father had a daughter!” cried Pierre; “someone I could love, protect, and fight for if necessary. It must be an amazing thing to get into a serious fight for a sweet sister! Now, more than anything, I wish I had a sister!”

Thus, ere entranced in the gentler bonds of a lover; thus often would Pierre invoke heaven for a sister; but Pierre did not then know, that if there be any thing a man might well pray against, that thing is the responsive gratification of some of the devoutest prayers of his youth.

Thus, before getting caught up in the tender bonds of a lover, Pierre would often pray to heaven for a sister; but he didn't realize then that if there’s anything a man should truly pray against, it's the answer to some of the most sincere prayers of his youth.

It may have been that this strange yearning of Pierre for a sister, had part of its origin in that still stranger feeling of loneliness he sometimes experienced, as not only the solitary head of his family, but the only surnamed male Glendinning extant. A powerful and populous family had by degrees run off into the female branches; so that Pierre found himself surrounded by numerous kinsmen and kinswomen, yet companioned by no surnamed male Glendinning, but the duplicate one reflected to him in the mirror. But in his more wonted natural mood, this thought was not wholly sad to him. Nay, sometimes it mounted into an exultant swell. For in the ruddiness, and flushfulness, and vain-gloriousness of his youthful soul, he fondly hoped to have a monopoly of glory in capping the fame-column, whose tall shaft had been erected by his noble sires.

It’s possible that Pierre's strange longing for a sister partly came from the even stranger feeling of loneliness he sometimes felt, being not only the sole head of his family but also the only male Glendinning left with a surname. A once-powerful and large family had gradually shifted into the female branches, so Pierre found himself surrounded by many relatives, yet he was accompanied by no other named male Glendinning except the reflection he saw in the mirror. However, in his more usual state of mind, this thought was not completely sad for him. In fact, sometimes it lifted him up with a sense of pride. For in the vibrancy, energy, and pridefulness of his youthful spirit, he cherished the hope of having a monopoly on glory by topping the fame column, the tall monument raised by his noble ancestors.

In all this, how unadmonished was our Pierre by that foreboding and prophetic lesson taught, not less by Palmyra’s quarries, than by Palmyra’s ruins. Among those ruins is a crumbling, uncompleted shaft, and some leagues off, ages ago left in the quarry, is the crumbling corresponding capital, also incomplete. These Time seized and spoiled; these Time crushed in the egg; and the proud stone that should have stood among the clouds, Time left abased beneath the soil. Oh, what quenchless feud is this, that Time hath with the sons of Men!

In all of this, how unaware was our Pierre of the ominous and prophetic lesson taught, not just by Palmyra’s quarries, but also by Palmyra’s ruins. Among those ruins is a decaying, unfinished pillar, and some distance away, long ago abandoned in the quarry, is the decaying matching capital, which is also incomplete. Time seized and ruined these; Time crushed them before they even started; and the proud stone that should have towered among the clouds, Time left buried beneath the earth. Oh, what unending conflict is this that Time has with the children of Men!


III.

IT has been said that the beautiful country round about Pierre appealed to very proud memories. But not only through the mere chances of things, had that fine country become ennobled by the deeds of his sires, but in Pierre’s eyes, all its hills and swales seemed as sanctified through their very long uninterrupted possession by his race.

IT has been said that the beautiful land around Pierre called to very proud memories. But not just by happenstance, that fine land had been elevated by the actions of his ancestors; in Pierre’s view, all its hills and valleys appeared sacred due to their long, unbroken ownership by his family.

That fond ideality which, in the eyes of affection, hallows the least trinket once familiar to the person of a departed love; with Pierre that talisman touched the whole earthly landscape about him; for remembering that on those hills his own fine fathers had gazed; through those woods, over these lawns, by that stream, along these tangled paths, many a grand-dame of his had merrily strolled when a girl; vividly recalling these things, Pierre deemed all that part of the earth a love-token; so that his very horizon was to him as a memorial ring.

That cherished idealism that, in the eyes of love, makes even the smallest trinket associated with a lost loved one sacred; for Pierre, that talisman transformed the entire landscape around him. He remembered that his ancestors had gazed upon those hills; through those woods, over these lawns, by that stream, along these winding paths, many of his grandmothers had happily walked as young women. Vividly recalling these memories, Pierre considered that whole piece of land a symbol of love, so much so that his very horizon felt like a memorial ring to him.

The monarchical world very generally imagines, that in demagoguical America the sacred Past hath no fixed statues erected to it, but all things irreverently seethe and boil in the vulgar caldron of an everlasting uncrystalizing Present. This conceit would seem peculiarly applicable to the social condition. With no chartered aristocracy, and no law of entail, how can any family in America imposingly perpetuate itself? Certainly that common saying among us, which declares, that be a family conspicuous as it may, a single half-century shall see it abased; that maxim undoubtedly holds true with the commonalty. In our cities families rise and burst like bubbles in a vat. For indeed the democratic element operates as a subtile acid among us; forever producing new things by corroding the old; as in the south of France verdigris, the primitive material of one kind of green paint, is produced by grape-vinegar poured upon copper plates. Now in general nothing can be more significant of decay than the idea of corrosion; yet on the other hand, nothing can more vividly suggest luxuriance of life, than the idea of green as a color; for green is the peculiar signet of all-fertile Nature herself. Herein by apt analogy we behold the marked anomalousness of America; whose character abroad, we need not be surprised, is misconceived, when we consider how strangely she contradicts all prior notions of human things; and how wonderfully to her, Death itself becomes transmuted into Life. So that political institutions, which in other lands seem above all things intensely artificial, with America seem to possess the divine virtue of a natural law; for the most mighty of nature’s laws is this, that out of Death she brings Life.

The monarchical world often thinks that in the democratic America, the sacred Past has no permanent monuments, and everything is irreverently bubbling in the chaotic pot of a constantly shifting Present. This idea seems particularly relevant to the social situation. Without a structured aristocracy or laws governing inheritance, how can any family in America maintain its status over time? There's a common saying among us that no matter how prominent a family may be, a mere fifty years will see it diminished; this principle undoubtedly applies to the masses. In our cities, families rise and disappear like bubbles in a vat. The democratic element acts like a subtle acid among us, continually creating new things by eroding the old; much like in southern France, where grape vinegar poured on copper plates produces verdigris, a primary ingredient for a type of green paint. Generally, nothing signifies decay more than the idea of corrosion; yet conversely, nothing evokes the richness of life more than the color green, which is nature's unique signature of fertility. In this way, we see the striking peculiarity of America; whose reputation abroad is often misunderstood when considering how it contradicts traditional views of humanity, and how remarkably, Death itself is transformed into Life. Thus, political institutions that seem deeply artificial in other countries take on the divine quality of a natural law in America; for one of nature's most powerful laws is that she brings Life from Death.

Still, are there things in the visible world, over which ever-shifting Nature hath not so unbounded a sway. The grass is annually changed; but the limbs of the oak, for a long term of years, defy that annual decree. And if in America the vast mass of families be as the blades of grass, yet some few there are that stand as the oak; which, instead of decaying, annually puts forth new branches; whereby Time, instead of subtracting, is made to capitulate into a multiple virtue.

Still, are there things in the visible world that ever-changing Nature doesn't have complete control over? The grass changes every year, but the limbs of the oak stand strong for many years against that yearly cycle. And if in America the large number of families are like blades of grass, there are still a few that stand like the oak, which, instead of withering away, grows new branches every year; in this way, Time, instead of taking away, adds to a greater strength.

In this matter we will—not superciliously, but in fair spirit—compare pedigrees with England, and strange as it may seem at the first blush, not without some claim to equality. I dare say, that in this thing the Peerage Book is a good statistical standard whereby to judge her; since the compilers of that work can not be entirely insensible on whose patronage they most rely; and the common intelligence of our own people shall suffice to judge us. But the magnificence of names must not mislead us as to the humility of things. For as the breath in all our lungs is hereditary, and my present breath at this moment, is further descended than the body of the present High Priest of the Jews, so far as he can assuredly trace it; so mere names, which are also but air, do likewise revel in this endless descendedness. But if Richmond, and St. Albans, and Grafton, and Portland, and Buccleugh, be names almost old as England herself, the present Dukes of those names stop in their own genuine pedigrees at Charles II., and there find no very fine fountain; since what we would deem the least glorious parentage under the sun, is precisely the parentage of a Buccleugh, for example; whose ancestress could not well avoid being a mother, it is true, but had accidentally omitted the preliminary rite. Yet a king was the sire. Then only so much the worse; for if it be small insult to be struck by a pauper, but mortal offense to receive a blow from a gentleman, then of all things the bye-blows of kings must be signally unflattering. In England the Peerage is kept alive by incessant restorations and creations. One man, George III., manufactured five hundred and twenty-two peers. An earldom, in abeyance for five centuries, has suddenly been assumed by some commoner, to whom it had not so much descended, as through the art of the lawyers been made flexibly to bend in that direction. For not Thames is so sinuous in his natural course, not the Bridgewater Canal more artificially conducted, than blood in the veins of that winding or manufactured nobility. Perishable as stubble, and fungous as the fungi, those grafted families successively live and die on the eternal soil of a name. In England this day, twenty-five hundred peerages are extinct; but the names survive. So that the empty air of a name is more endurable than a man, or than dynasties of men; the air fills man’s lungs and puts life into a man, but man fills not the air, nor puts life into that.

In this matter, we will—not arrogantly, but fairly—compare our heritage with England, and as strange as it might sound at first, we have some claim to equality. I dare say that the Peerage Book is a decent standard for judging this; since the people who put that book together can’t be completely unaware of whose support they depend on, and the general intelligence of our own people is enough to evaluate us. However, we must not be misled by the grandeur of names into thinking that things are actually humble. Just as the breath in all our lungs is inherited, and my current breath comes from ancestry that traces back further than the current High Priest of the Jews can confidently claim, mere names, which are also just air, indulge in this endless lineage as well. Yet, if Richmond, and St. Albans, and Grafton, and Portland, and Buccleugh are names almost as old as England itself, the current Dukes of those names can trace their genuine lineage only back to Charles II, and they do not find any particularly noble origin there; since, what we might consider the least glorious lineage in the world is precisely that of a Buccleugh, for instance; whose ancestor might have been a mother by circumstance, but had unfortunately skipped the initial rite. Still, a king was the father. Then it’s even worse; because if it’s a minor insult to be hit by a poor person, but a grave offense to be struck by a gentleman, then of all things, the illegitimate children of kings are particularly unflattering. In England, the Peerage is sustained by constant restorations and creations. One man, George III, created five hundred and twenty-two peers. An earldom that had been dormant for five centuries has suddenly been claimed by some commoner, to whom it didn't so much descend as it was made to stretch in that direction by lawyers. For no river is as winding in its natural course as the Thames, nor is the Bridgewater Canal more artificially controlled than the blood in the veins of that convoluted or manufactured nobility. As fleeting as stubble, and as ephemeral as fungi, those grafted families live and die on the eternal ground of a name. Today in England, twenty-five hundred peerages are extinct; yet the names survive. So, the empty air of a name is more lasting than a person or even dynasties of people; the air fills a person’s lungs and gives life to him, but a person does not fill the air, nor does he give life to it.

All honor to the names then, and all courtesy to the men; but if St. Albans tell me he is all-honorable and all-eternal, I must still politely refer him to Nell Gwynne.

All respect to the names then, and all courtesy to the men; but if St. Albans tells me he is completely honorable and everlasting, I still have to politely refer him to Nell Gwynne.

Beyond Charles II. very few indeed—hardly worthy of note—are the present titled English families which can trace any thing like a direct unvitiated blood-descent from the thief knights of the Norman. Beyond Charles II. their direct genealogies seem vain as though some Jew clothesman, with a tea-canister on his head, turned over the first chapter of St. Matthew to make out his unmingled participation in the blood of King Saul, who had long died ere the career of the Cæsar began.

Beyond Charles II, very few—hardly worth mentioning—are the current titled English families that can trace a direct and untainted bloodline from the knightly thieves of the Normans. Beyond Charles II, their direct genealogies seem pointless, as if some Jewish clothes merchant, with a tea canister on his head, flipped through the first chapter of St. Matthew to prove his pure lineage from King Saul, who had died long before the time of the Caesars.

Now, not preliminarily to enlarge upon the fact that, while in England an immense mass of state-masonry is brought to bear as a buttress in upholding the hereditary existence of certain houses, while with us nothing of that kind can possibly be admitted; and to omit all mention of the hundreds of unobtrusive families in New England who, nevertheless, might easily trace their uninterrupted English lineage to a time before Charles the Blade: not to speak of the old and oriental-like English planter families of Virginia and the South; the Randolphs for example, one of whose ancestors, in King James’ time, married Pocahontas the Indian Princess, and in whose blood therefore an underived aboriginal royalty was flowing over two hundred years ago; consider those most ancient and magnificent Dutch Manors at the North, whose perches are miles—whose meadows overspread adjacent countries—and whose haughty rent-deeds are held by their thousand farmer tenants, so long as grass grows and water runs; which hints of a surprising eternity for a deed, and seem to make lawyer’s ink unobliterable as the sea. Some of those manors are two centuries old; and their present patrons or lords will show you stakes and stones on their estates put there—the stones at least—before Nell Gwynne the Duke-mother was born, and genealogies which, like their own river, Hudson, flow somewhat farther and straighter than the Serpentine brooklet in Hyde Park.

Now, let’s not overlook the fact that, while in England a huge amount of state infrastructure is used to support the hereditary existence of certain families, here we cannot allow anything like that; and to ignore the countless discreet families in New England who can easily trace their unbroken English lineage back to a time before Charles I: not to mention the old, almost Eastern-like English planter families of Virginia and the South; take the Randolphs, for example, one of whose ancestors, during King James’ reign, married Pocahontas, the Native American princess, which means they had a direct lineage of indigenous royalty over two hundred years ago; consider those ancient and impressive Dutch manors up North, whose properties stretch for miles—whose fields reach into neighboring areas—and whose proud lease agreements are held by their thousand farmer tenants, as long as grass grows and water flows; hinting at a surprising permanence for a deed, and seeming to make a lawyer's ink as indelible as the sea. Some of those manors are two centuries old; and their current owners will show you markers and stones on their land that were placed there—the stones at least—before Nell Gwynne, the mother of dukes, was born, and genealogies which, like the Hudson River, flow somewhat further and straighter than the Serpentine stream in Hyde Park.

These far-descended Dutch meadows lie steeped in a Hindooish haze; an eastern patriarchalness sways its mild crook over pastures, whose tenant flocks shall there feed, long as their own grass grows, long as their own water shall run. Such estates seem to defy Time’s tooth, and by conditions which take hold of the indestructible earth seem to contemporize their fee-simples with eternity. Unimaginable audacity of a worm that but crawls through the soil he so imperially claims!

These distant Dutch meadows are wrapped in a hazy, almost mystical atmosphere; an eastern patriarchal presence gently oversees pastures, where livestock will graze as long as the grass grows and the water flows. These lands appear to resist the passage of time, and through the enduring nature of the earth, they seem to align their ownership with eternity. It’s an unbelievable boldness for a worm to crawl through the soil it claims so dominantly!

In midland counties of England they boast of old oaken dining-halls where three hundred men-at-arms could exercise of a rainy afternoon, in the reign of the Plantagenets. But our lords, the Patroons, appeal not to the past, but they point to the present. One will show you that the public census of a county is but part of the roll of his tenants. Ranges of mountains, high as Ben Nevis or Snowdon, are their walls; and regular armies, with staffs of officers, crossing rivers with artillery, and marching through primeval woods, and threading vast rocky defiles, have been sent out to distrain upon three thousand farmer-tenants of one landlord, at a blow. A fact most suggestive two ways; both whereof shall be nameless here.

In the central counties of England, they boast about old oak dining halls where three hundred knights could practice on a rainy afternoon during the reign of the Plantagenets. But our lords, the Patroons, don't look to the past; they focus on the present. One might point out that the public census of a county is just a fraction of his tenants. Ranges of mountains, as tall as Ben Nevis or Snowdon, serve as their borders; and regular armies, complete with officer staffs, crossing rivers with artillery, and marching through ancient forests, and navigating vast rocky pathways, have been deployed to collect dues from three thousand farmer-tenants of a single landlord, all at once. A fact that suggests two things; both of which shall remain unnamed here.

But whatever one may think of the existence of such mighty lordships in the heart of a republic, and however we may wonder at their thus surviving, like Indian mounds, the Revolutionary flood; yet survive and exist they do, and are now owned by their present proprietors, by as good nominal title as any peasant owns his father’s old hat, or any duke his great-uncle’s old coronet.

But no matter what anyone thinks about the existence of such powerful estates in the center of a republic, and no matter how amazed we may be that they’ve survived, like Indian mounds, the Revolutionary tide; they do survive and exist, and are now owned by their current owners with as legitimate a title as any peasant has to his father’s old hat, or any duke has to his great-uncle’s old coronet.

For all this, then, we shall not err very widely if we humbly conceive, that—should she choose to glorify herself in that inconsiderable way—our America will make out a good general case with England in this short little matter of large estates, and long pedigrees—pedigrees I mean, wherein is no flaw.

Given all this, we won't be too far off if we modestly think that—if she decides to boast about herself in that minor way—our America will present a solid argument against England in this quick issue of vast estates and impressive family lines—family lines I mean that have no blemish.


IV.

IN general terms we have been thus decided in asserting the great genealogical and real-estate dignity of some families in America, because in so doing we poetically establish the richly aristocratic condition of Master Pierre Glendinning, for whom we have before claimed some special family distinction. And to the observant reader the sequel will not fail to show, how important is this circumstance, considered with reference to the singularly developed character and most singular life-career of our hero. Nor will any man dream that the last chapter was merely intended for a foolish bravado, and not with a solid purpose in view.

IN general terms, we have determined that certain families in America hold a notable reputation in terms of ancestry and property, because in doing so, we highlight the prestigious status of Master Pierre Glendinning, for whom we have previously argued some unique family distinction. The following sections will clearly demonstrate how significant this aspect is when we consider the uniquely developed personality and extraordinary life journey of our main character. No one should think that the last chapter was simply meant to show off, rather it had a serious purpose behind it.

Now Pierre stands on this noble pedestal; we shall see if he keeps that fine footing; we shall see if Fate hath not just a little bit of a small word or two to say in this world. But it is not laid down here that the Glendinnings dated back beyond Pharaoh, or the deeds of Saddle-Meadows to the Three Magi in the Gospels. Nevertheless, those deeds, as before hinted, did indeed date back to three kings—Indian kings—only so much the finer for that.

Now Pierre stands on this impressive pedestal; we’ll see if he can maintain that strong position; we’ll see if Fate has any small comments to make in this world. But it’s not stated here that the Glendinnings go back further than Pharaoh, or the actions of Saddle-Meadows to the Three Wise Men in the Gospels. Still, those actions, as mentioned before, really do trace back to three kings—Indian kings—and that makes it even more significant.

But if Pierre did not date back to the Pharaohs, and if the English farmer Hampdens were somewhat the seniors of even the oldest Glendinning; and if some American manors boasted a few additional years and square miles over his, yet think you that it is at all possible, that a youth of nineteen should—merely by way of trial of the thing—strew his ancestral kitchen hearth-stone with wheat in the stalk, and there standing in the chimney thresh out that grain with a flail, whose aerial evolutions had free play among all that masonry; were it not impossible for such a flailer so to thresh wheat in his own ancestral kitchen chimney without feeling just a little twinge or two of what one might call family pride? I should say not.

But if Pierre didn't go back to the Pharaohs, and if the English farmer Hampdens were even older than the oldest Glendinning; and if some American estates had a few more years and square miles than his, do you really think it's possible that a nineteen-year-old could—just as a test—scatter wheat stalks on his ancestral kitchen hearth and then stand there in the chimney to thresh that grain with a flail, where the swings of the flail could easily hit the masonry? Wouldn't it be impossible for someone to thresh wheat in his own ancestral kitchen chimney without feeling at least a little bit of what you might call family pride? I wouldn't think so.

Or how think you it would be with this youthful Pierre, if every day descending to breakfast, he caught sight of an old tattered British banner or two, hanging over an arched window in his hall; and those banners captured by his grandfather, the general, in fair fight? Or how think you it would be if every time he heard the band of the military company of the village, he should distinctly recognize the peculiar tap of a British kettle-drum also captured by his grandfather in fair fight, and afterwards suitably inscribed on the brass and bestowed upon the Saddle-Meadows Artillery Corps? Or how think you it would be, if sometimes of a mild meditative Fourth of July morning in the country, he carried out with him into the garden by way of ceremonial cane, a long, majestic, silver-tipped staff, a Major-General’s baton, once wielded on the plume-nodding and musket-flashing review by the same grandfather several times here-in-before mentioned? I should say that considering Pierre was quite young and very unphilosophical as yet, and withal rather high-blooded; and sometimes read the History of the Revolutionary War, and possessed a mother who very frequently made remote social allusions to the epaulettes of the Major-General his grandfather;—I should say that upon all of these occasions, the way it must have been with him, was a very proud, elated sort of way. And if this seem but too fond and foolish in Pierre; and if you tell me that this sort of thing in him showed him no sterling Democrat, and that a truly noble man should never brag of any arm but his own; then I beg you to consider again that this Pierre was but a youngster as yet. And believe me you will pronounce Pierre a thoroughgoing Democrat in time; perhaps a little too Radical altogether to your fancy.

Or how do you think it would feel for this young Pierre if every day when he came down for breakfast, he saw a couple of old, tattered British flags hanging over an arched window in his hall; flags that his grandfather, the general, had captured in battle? Or how would it be if every time he heard the military band from the village, he recognized the distinct sound of a British kettle drum also taken by his grandfather in fair combat, later engraved on the brass and presented to the Saddle-Meadows Artillery Corps? Or how would it be if, on a calm, reflective Fourth of July morning in the countryside, he carried with him into the garden, as a ceremonial staff, a long, impressive silver-tipped baton, a Major-General’s staff once carried by the same grandfather during the grand reviews with flags waving and muskets firing? I would say that considering Pierre was quite young and not very philosophical yet, and had a passionate nature; plus, he sometimes read about the Revolutionary War and had a mother who often made distant references to his grandfather’s Major-General epaulettes; I would say that in all these moments, he must have felt a very proud, uplifted sort of way. And if this seems too sentimental or foolish in Pierre, and if you argue that such feelings show he isn't a true Democrat, and that a truly noble person should take pride in nothing but their own achievements; then I urge you to remember that Pierre is just a kid after all. And believe me, in time you will see that Pierre will grow into a genuine Democrat; perhaps even a bit too radical for your taste.

In conclusion, do not blame me if I here make repetition, and do verbally quote my own words in saying that it had been the choice fate of Pierre to have been born and bred in the country. For to a noble American youth this indeed—more than in any other land—this indeed is a most rare and choice lot. For it is to be observed, that while in other countries, the finest families boast of the country as their home; the more prominent among us, proudly cite the city as their seat. Too often the American that himself makes his fortune, builds him a great metropolitan house, in the most metropolitan street of the most metropolitan town. Whereas a European of the same sort would thereupon migrate into the country. That herein the European hath the better of it, no poet, no philosopher, and no aristocrat will deny. For the country is not only the most poetical and philosophical, but it is the most aristocratic part of this earth, for it is the most venerable, and numerous bards have ennobled it by many fine titles. Whereas the town is the more plebeian portion: which, besides many other things, is plainly evinced by the dirty unwashed face perpetually worn by the town; but the country, like any Queen, is ever attended by scrupulous lady’s maids in the guise of the seasons, and the town hath but one dress of brick turned up with stone; but the country hath a brave dress for every week in the year; sometimes she changes her dress twenty-four times in the twenty-four hours; and the country weareth her sun by day as a diamond on a Queen’s brow; and the stars by night as necklaces of gold beads; whereas the town’s sun is smoky paste, and no diamond, and the town’s stars are pinchbeck and not gold.

In conclusion, don’t blame me if I repeat myself, and let me quote my own words when I say that it was Pierre's fate to be born and raised in the country. For a noble American youth, this is truly—more than anywhere else—an exceptional and enviable situation. It's worth noting that while in other countries, the finest families proudly claim the countryside as their home, the more prominent among us often point to the city as their residence. Too often, the American who builds his fortune constructs a grand home in the most upscale street of the biggest city. In contrast, a European in the same position would typically move to the countryside. No poet, philosopher, or aristocrat would dispute that the European has the advantage here. The countryside is not only the most poetic and philosophical, but it is also the most aristocratic part of the world, rich in history, and many poets have honored it with beautiful titles. Meanwhile, the city is more common, evidenced by its dirty, unwashed appearance; the countryside, like a queen, is always attended by diligent maids in the form of the seasons. The city wears a single outfit of brick and stone, while the countryside boasts a splendid outfit for every week of the year; sometimes she changes her look twenty-four times in a single day. During the day, the countryside wears the sun like a diamond on a queen’s brow, and at night, the stars are like strands of golden beads; in contrast, the city’s sun is just smoky glass without any sparkle, and the city’s stars are cheap imitations, not gold.

In the country then Nature planted our Pierre; because Nature intended a rare and original development in Pierre. Never mind if hereby she proved ambiguous to him in the end; nevertheless, in the beginning she did bravely. She blew her wind-clarion from the blue hills, and Pierre neighed out lyrical thoughts, as at the trumpet-blast, a war-horse paws himself into a lyric of foam. She whispered through her deep groves at eve, and gentle whispers of humanness, and sweet whispers of love, ran through Pierre’s thought-veins, musical as water over pebbles. She lifted her spangled crest of a thickly-starred night, and forth at that glimpse of their divine Captain and Lord, ten thousand mailed thoughts of heroicness started up in Pierre’s soul, and glared round for some insulted good cause to defend.

In the countryside, Nature nurtured our Pierre because she wanted a unique and extraordinary growth in him. It doesn't matter that in the end she may have confused him; still, at the start, she inspired him boldly. She announced her presence from the blue hills, and Pierre expressed lyrical thoughts, like a warhorse that, at the sound of a trumpet, dances into a surge of energy. She whispered through her deep groves in the evening, and gentle feelings of humanity and sweet notions of love flowed through Pierre’s mind, as musical as water running over pebbles. She raised her glittering crown under a thickly starry night, and at the sight of their divine leader, ten thousand heroic thoughts sprang to life in Pierre’s soul, looking for a noble cause to defend.

So the country was a glorious benediction to young Pierre; we shall see if that blessing pass from him as did the divine blessing from the Hebrews; we shall yet see again, I say, whether Fate hath not just a little bit of a word or two to say in this world; we shall see whether this wee little bit scrap of latinity be very far out of the way—Nemo contra Deum nisi Deus ipse.

So the country was a wonderful blessing for young Pierre; we'll see if that blessing leaves him just like the divine blessing did for the Hebrews; we'll find out, I say, whether Fate has a word or two to say in this world; we'll see if this tiny bit of Latin is really far off—Nemo contra Deum nisi Deus ipse.


V.

“Sister Mary,” said Pierre, returned from his sunrise stroll, and tapping at his mother’s chamber door:—“do you know, sister Mary, that the trees which have been up all night, are all abroad again this morning before you?—Do you not smell something like coffee, my sister?”

“Sister Mary,” Pierre said, returning from his morning walk and tapping on his mother's bedroom door, “do you know, sister Mary, that the trees that stood all night are out again this morning just for you?—Can you smell something like coffee, my sister?”

A light step moved from within toward the door; which opened, showing Mrs. Glendinning, in a resplendently cheerful morning robe, and holding a gay wide ribbon in her hand.

A light step came from inside toward the door, which opened to reveal Mrs. Glendinning, wearing a brightly cheerful morning robe and holding a colorful wide ribbon in her hand.

“Good morning, madam,” said Pierre, slowly, and with a bow, whose genuine and spontaneous reverence amusingly contrasted with the sportive manner that had preceded it. For thus sweetly and religiously was the familiarity of his affections bottomed on the profoundest filial respect.

“Good morning, ma'am,” said Pierre, slowly, with a bow, whose genuine and spontaneous respect amusingly contrasted with the playful manner that had come before it. For thus sweetly and sincerely was the familiarity of his feelings based on the deepest filial respect.

“Good afternoon to you, Pierre, for I suppose it is afternoon. But come, you shall finish my toilette;—here, brother—” reaching the ribbon—“now acquit yourself bravely—” and seating herself away from the glass, she awaited the good offices of Pierre.

“Good afternoon, Pierre, I assume it’s afternoon. But come, you’re going to help me get ready;—here, brother—” reaching for the ribbon—“now do a good job—” and sitting away from the mirror, she waited for Pierre’s assistance.

“First Lady in waiting to the Dowager Duchess Glendinning,” laughed Pierre, as bowing over before his mother, he gracefully passed the ribbon round her neck, simply crossing the ends in front.

“First lady in waiting to the Dowager Duchess Glendinning,” laughed Pierre, as he bowed before his mother and gracefully passed the ribbon around her neck, simply crossing the ends in front.

“Well, what is to hold it there, Pierre?”

“Well, what’s going to keep it there, Pierre?”

“I am going to try and tack it with a kiss, sister,—there!—oh, what a pity that sort of fastening won’t always hold!—where’s the cameo with the fawns, I gave you last night?—Ah! on the slab—you were going to wear it then?—Thank you, my considerate and most politic sister—there!—but stop—here’s a ringlet gone romping—so now, dear sister, give that Assyrian toss to your head.”

“I’m going to try to fix it with a kiss, sis—there!—oh, what a shame that kind of fastening doesn’t always hold!—where’s the cameo with the fawns I gave you last night?—Ah! on the counter—you were going to wear it then?—Thanks, my thoughtful and clever sister—there!—but wait—here’s a curly strand going wild—so now, dear sister, give that dramatic toss to your head.”

The haughtily happy mother rose to her feet, and as she stood before the mirror to criticize her son’s adornings, Pierre, noticing the straggling tie of her slipper, knelt down and secured it. “And now for the urn,” he cried, “madam!” and with a humorous gallantry, offering his arm to his mother, the pair descended to breakfast.

The proudly happy mom stood up, and as she looked in the mirror to critique her son's outfit, Pierre noticed the untied strap of her slipper. He knelt down and fixed it. “Now for the urn,” he exclaimed, “madam!” and with a playful charm, he offered his arm to his mom, and together they headed downstairs for breakfast.

With Mrs. Glendinning it was one of those spontaneous maxims, which women sometimes act upon without ever thinking of, never to appear in the presence of her son in any dishabille that was not eminently becoming. Her own independent observation of things, had revealed to her many very common maxims, which often become operatively lifeless from a vicarious reception of them. She was vividly aware how immense was that influence, which, even in the closest ties of the heart, the merest appearances make upon the mind. And as in the admiring love and graceful devotion of Pierre lay now her highest joy in life; so she omitted no slightest trifle which could possibly contribute to the preservation of so sweet and flattering a thing.

With Mrs. Glendinning, it was one of those impulsive beliefs that women sometimes follow without really thinking about it: never to show up in front of her son looking anything less than presentable. Her own observations had shown her many common beliefs that often lose their impact when simply absorbed from others. She was fully aware of the powerful influence that appearances can have on the mind, even in the closest relationships. And since the admiration and graceful devotion of Pierre brought her the greatest joy in life, she didn't overlook any little detail that could help maintain such a sweet and flattering connection.

Besides all this, Mary Glendinning was a woman, and with more than the ordinary vanity of women—if vanity it can be called—which in a life of nearly fifty years had never betrayed her into a single published impropriety, or caused her one known pang at the heart. Moreover, she had never yearned for admiration; because that was her birthright by the eternal privilege of beauty; she had always possessed it; she had not to turn her head for it, since spontaneously it always encompassed her. Vanity, which in so many women approaches to a spiritual vice, and therefore to a visible blemish; in her peculiar case—and though possessed in a transcendent degree—was still the token of the highest health; inasmuch as never knowing what it was to yearn for its gratification, she was almost entirely unconscious of possessing it at all. Many women carry this light of their lives flaming on their foreheads; but Mary Glendinning unknowingly bore hers within. Through all the infinite traceries of feminine art, she evenly glowed like a vase which, internally illuminated, gives no outward sign of the lighting flame, but seems to shine by the very virtue of the exquisite marble itself. But that bluff corporeal admiration, with which some ball-room women are content, was no admiration to the mother of Pierre. Not the general homage of men, but the selected homage of the noblest men, was what she felt to be her appropriate right. And as her own maternal partialities were added to, and glorified the rare and absolute merits of Pierre; she considered the voluntary allegiance of his affectionate soul, the representative fealty of the choicest guild of his race. Thus, though replenished through all her veins with the subtlest vanity, with the homage of Pierre alone she was content.

Besides all this, Mary Glendinning was a woman, and she had more than the usual vanity that women often have—if vanity is even the right word for it—yet in her nearly fifty years of life, it had never led her to a single published scandal or caused her any known heartache. Moreover, she never craved admiration; that was her birthright thanks to her timeless beauty; she always had it; she didn’t need to seek it out since it surrounded her naturally. The vanity that, in many women, approaches a spiritual flaw and becomes a visible flaw in her case—and although she had it in abundance—was still a sign of her excellent health; because she never knew what it was to long for its satisfaction, she was almost completely unaware of having it at all. Many women wear this light of their lives openly for all to see, but Mary Glendinning unknowingly carried hers within. Amid all the intricate designs of feminine artistry, she shone like a vase that, lit from within, shows no external sign of the flame inside but seems to radiate simply because of the beauty of the exquisite marble itself. But the kind of blunt physical admiration that some women bask in at social events was not what the mother of Pierre sought. It wasn’t the general respect of men that she cared for, but the selective admiration from the noblest of them; that was what she believed was rightfully hers. And as her maternal biases added to and celebrated Pierre’s unique and exceptional qualities, she viewed his devoted affection as a genuine loyalty from the finest members of his lineage. Thus, even though her veins pulsed with subtle vanity, she was satisfied only with the acknowledgment from Pierre.

But as to a woman of sense and spirit, the admiration of even the noblest and most gifted man, is esteemed as nothing, so long as she remains conscious of possessing no directly influencing and practical sorcery over his soul; and as notwithstanding all his intellectual superiority to his mother, Pierre, through the unavoidable weakness of inexperienced and unexpanded youth, was strangely docile to the maternal tuitions in nearly all the things which thus far had any ways interested or affected him; therefore it was, that to Mary Glendinning this reverence of Pierre was invested with all the proudest delights and witcheries of self-complacency, which it is possible for the most conquering virgin to feel. Still more. That nameless and infinitely delicate aroma of inexpressible tenderness and attentiveness which, in every refined and honorable attachment, is cotemporary with the courtship, and precedes the final banns and the rite; but which, like the bouquet of the costliest German wines, too often evaporates upon pouring love out to drink, in the disenchanting glasses of the matrimonial days and nights; this highest and airiest thing in the whole compass of the experience of our mortal life; this heavenly evanescence—still further etherealized in the filial breast—was for Mary Glendinning, now not very far from her grand climacteric, miraculously revived in the courteous lover-like adoration of Pierre.

But for a woman of intelligence and spirit, the admiration of even the most noble and gifted man means nothing as long as she knows she has no real influence or practical magic over his heart. Despite his intellectual superiority to his mother, Pierre, due to the unavoidable weakness of being young and inexperienced, was oddly compliant with his mother’s teachings in almost everything that had affected or interested him so far. Because of this, Mary Glendinning found Pierre's reverence filled her with all the proudest joys and charming feelings that the most conquering woman can experience. Even more so, the indescribable and delicate essence of tender care that exists in every refined and honorable relationship during courtship, which comes before formal engagements and ceremonies, often fades away like the bouquet of the finest German wines when love is poured out in the disillusioning moments of married life. This highest and most ethereal part of our mortal experience—this heavenly fleetingness, even more exalted in a son’s heart—was for Mary Glendinning, now not far from a pivotal moment in her life, miraculously brought back to life in Pierre's courteous, lover-like adoration.

Altogether having its origin in a wonderful but purely fortuitous combination of the happiest and rarest accidents of earth; and not to be limited in duration by that climax which is so fatal to ordinary love; this softened spell which still wheeled the mother and son in one orbit of joy, seemed a glimpse of the glorious possibility, that the divinest of those emotions, which are incident to the sweetest season of love, is capable of an indefinite translation into many of the less signal relations of our many chequered life. In a detached and individual way, it seemed almost to realize here below the sweet dreams of those religious enthusiasts, who paint to us a Paradise to come, when etherealized from all drosses and stains, the holiest passion of man shall unite all kindreds and climes in one circle of pure and unimpairable delight.

Altogether originating from a wonderful but purely chance combination of the happiest and rarest accidents of life; and not bound by that peak which is so destructive to ordinary love; this gentle enchantment that still kept the mother and son in one orbit of joy seemed like a glimpse of the amazing potential that the most divine of those emotions, which happen during the sweetest time of love, can be translated indefinitely into many of the less remarkable relationships in our varied lives. In a separate and individual way, it almost seemed to fulfill here on earth the sweet dreams of those religious enthusiasts who envision a Paradise to come, where, free from all impurities and stains, the holiest passion of humanity will unite all people and places in one circle of pure and unbreakable joy.


VI.

THERE was one little uncelestial trait, which, in the opinion of some, may mar the romantic merits of the gentlemanly Pierre Glendinning. He always had an excellent appetite, and especially for his breakfast. But when we consider that though Pierre’s hands were small, and his ruffles white, yet his arm was by no means dainty, and his complexion inclined to brown; and that he generally rose with the sun, and could not sleep without riding his twenty, or walking his twelve miles a day, or felling a fair-sized hemlock in the forest, or boxing, or fencing, or boating, or performing some other gymnastical feat; when we consider these athletic habitudes of Pierre, and the great fullness of brawn and muscle they built round about him; all of which manly brawn and muscle, three times a day loudly clamored for attention; we shall very soon perceive that to have a bountiful appetite, was not only no vulgar reproach, but a right royal grace and honor to Pierre; attesting him a man and a gentleman; for a thoroughly developed gentleman is always robust and healthy; and Robustness and Health are great trencher-men.

There was one little flaw that some thought could lessen the romantic appeal of the gentlemanly Pierre Glendinning. He always had a great appetite, especially for breakfast. But when we think about how Pierre’s hands were small and his cuffs were white, his arms were anything but delicate, and his skin tended to be brown; and considering that he generally rose with the sun and couldn’t sleep unless he rode twenty miles or walked twelve, or chopped down a decent-sized hemlock in the woods, or practiced boxing, fencing, boating, or other athletic activities; when we take all these athletic habits of Pierre into account, along with the strong build and muscle he developed, which demanded attention three times a day; it becomes clear that having a big appetite was not a disgrace but rather a noble grace and honor for Pierre, marking him as a man and a gentleman; because a truly developed gentleman is always strong and healthy, and strength and health are essential for hearty eaters.

So when Pierre and his mother descended to breakfast, and Pierre had scrupulously seen her supplied with whatever little things were convenient to her; and had twice or thrice ordered the respectable and immemorial Dates, the servitor, to adjust and re-adjust the window-sashes, so that no unkind current of air should take undue liberties with his mother’s neck; after seeing to all this, but in a very quiet and inconspicuous way; and also after directing the unruffled Dates, to swing out, horizontally into a particular light, a fine joyous painting, in the good-fellow, Flemish style (which painting was so attached to the wall as to be capable of that mode of adjusting), and furthermore after darting from where he sat a few invigorating glances over the river-meadows to the blue mountains beyond; Pierre made a masonic sort of mysterious motion to the excellent Dates, who in automaton obedience thereto, brought from a certain agreeable little side-stand, a very prominent-looking cold pasty; which, on careful inspection with the knife, proved to be the embossed savory nest of a few uncommonly tender pigeons of Pierre’s own shooting.

So when Pierre and his mother came down for breakfast, and Pierre made sure she had all the little things she needed, and had asked the reliable and longtime servant Dates a couple of times to adjust the window sashes so no chilly draft bothered his mother’s neck; after seeing to all this, but in a very discreet way; and also after telling the calm Dates to position a cheerful painting, in the friendly Flemish style (which was fixed to the wall so it could be adjusted), and further after casting a few refreshing glances over the river meadows to the blue mountains beyond; Pierre made a secretive gesture to the dependable Dates, who obediently retrieved from a nearby stand a very eye-catching cold pie; which, upon closer inspection with a knife, turned out to be a beautifully crafted savory dish made from a few exceptionally tender pigeons that Pierre had shot himself.

“Sister Mary,” said he, lifting on his silver trident one of the choicest of the many fine pigeon morsels; “Sister Mary,” said he, “in shooting these pigeons, I was very careful to bring down one in such a manner that the breast is entirely unmarred. It was intended for you! and here it is. Now Sergeant Dates, help hither your mistress’ plate. No?—nothing but the crumbs of French rolls, and a few peeps into a coffee-cup—is that a breakfast for the daughter of yonder bold General?”—pointing to a full-length of his gold-laced grandfather on the opposite wall. “Well, pitiable is my case when I have to breakfast for two. Dates!”

“Sister Mary,” he said, raising one of the finest pieces of pigeon on his silver trident. “Sister Mary,” he continued, “when I was shooting these pigeons, I made sure to bring one down so that the breast is completely intact. It’s meant for you! And here it is. Now, Sergeant Dates, bring your mistress a plate. What?—all that’s here are crumbs from French rolls and a few sips from a coffee cup—is this really a breakfast fit for the daughter of that brave General?”—he pointed to a full-length portrait of his gold-laced grandfather on the wall across from them. “Well, it’s a sad situation when I have to eat breakfast for two. Dates!”

“Sir.”

“Sir.”

“Remove that toast-rack, Dates; and this plate of tongue, and bring the rolls nearer, and wheel the stand farther off, good Dates.”

“Take away that toast rack, Dates; and this plate of tongue, and bring the rolls closer, and move the stand further away, please, Dates.”

Having thus made generous room for himself, Pierre commenced operations, interrupting his mouthfuls by many sallies of mirthfulness.

Having made plenty of space for himself, Pierre started eating, breaking up his bites with fits of laughter.

“You seem to be in prodigious fine spirits this morning, brother Pierre,” said his mother.

“You seem to be in really great spirits this morning, brother Pierre,” said his mother.

“Yes, very tolerable; at least I can’t say, that I am low-spirited exactly, sister Mary;—Dates, my fine fellow, bring me three bowls of milk.”

“Yes, it’s pretty tolerable; at least I can’t say that I’m feeling down, sister Mary;—Dates, my good man, bring me three bowls of milk.”

“One bowl, sir, you mean,” said Dates, gravely and imperturbably.

"One bowl, sir, you mean," Dates said seriously and without flinching.

As the servitor left the room, Mrs. Glendinning spoke. “My dear Pierre, how often have I begged you never to permit your hilariousness to betray you into overstepping the exact line of propriety in your intercourse with servants. Dates’ look was a respectful reproof to you just now. You must not call Dates, My fine fellow. He is a fine fellow, a very fine fellow, indeed; but there is no need of telling him so at my table. It is very easy to be entirely kind and pleasant to servants, without the least touch of any shade of transient good-fellowship with them.”

As the servant left the room, Mrs. Glendinning spoke. “My dear Pierre, how many times have I asked you not to let your humor lead you to cross the line of proper behavior when interacting with servants? Dates’ glance was a subtle reminder of that just now. You must not call Dates, My fine fellow. He is a fine fellow, a very fine fellow indeed; but there’s no need to say that at my table. It’s entirely possible to be kind and pleasant to servants without any hint of casual friendship with them.”

“Well, sister, no doubt you are altogether right; after this I shall drop the fine, and call Dates nothing but fellow;—Fellow, come here!—how will that answer?”

“Well, sister, you’re absolutely right; from now on I’ll stop calling him fine and just call Dates fellow;—Fellow, come here!—how does that sound?”

“Not at all, Pierre—but you are a Romeo, you know, and so for the present I pass over your nonsense.”

“Not at all, Pierre—but you’re such a Romeo, you know, so for now I’ll overlook your nonsense.”

“Romeo! oh, no. I am far from being Romeo—” sighed Pierre. “I laugh, but he cried; poor Romeo! alas Romeo! woe is me, Romeo! he came to a very deplorable end, did Romeo, sister Mary.”

“Romeo! oh, no. I am nothing like Romeo—” sighed Pierre. “I laugh, but he cried; poor Romeo! oh, Romeo! woe is me, Romeo! he met a very sad end, did Romeo, sister Mary.”

“It was his own fault though.”

“It was his own fault, though.”

“Poor Romeo!”

“Poor Romeo!”

“He was disobedient to his parents.”

“He ignored his parents.”

“Alas Romeo!”

“Poor Romeo!”

“He married against their particular wishes.”

"He married despite their specific wishes."

“Woe is me, Romeo!”

“Woe is me, Romeo!”

“But you, Pierre, are going to be married before long, I trust, not to a Capulet, but to one of our own Montagues; and so Romeo’s evil fortune will hardly be yours. You will be happy.”

"But you, Pierre, will be getting married soon, I hope, not to a Capulet, but to one of our own Montagues; and so Romeo’s bad luck will likely not affect you. You will be happy."

“The more miserable Romeo!”

“Poor Romeo!”

“Don’t be so ridiculous, brother Pierre; so you are going to take Lucy that long ride among the hills this morning? She is a sweet girl; a most lovely girl.”

“Don’t be so silly, brother Pierre; so you’re taking Lucy on that long ride through the hills this morning? She’s a sweet girl; a truly lovely girl.”

“Yes, that is rather my opinion, sister Mary.—By heavens, mother, the five zones hold not such another! She is—yes—though I say it—Dates!—he’s a precious long time getting that milk!”

“Yes, that’s pretty much my opinion, sister Mary. —Goodness, mother, there’s no one else like her in all five continents! She is—yes—though I say it—Wow!—it’s taking him quite a while to get that milk!”

“Let him stay.—Don’t be a milk-sop, Pierre!”

“Let him stay. — Don’t be a wimp, Pierre!”

“Ha! my sister is a little satirical this morning. I comprehend.”

“Ha! My sister is being a bit sarcastic this morning. I get it.”

“Never rave, Pierre; and never rant. Your father never did either; nor is it written of Socrates; and both were very wise men. Your father was profoundly in love—that I know to my certain knowledge—but I never heard him rant about it. He was always exceedingly gentlemanly: and gentlemen never rant. Milk-sops and Muggletonians rant, but gentlemen never.”

“Never go on and on, Pierre; and never shout. Your father never did either; nor is it written about Socrates; and both were very wise men. Your father was deeply in love—that I know for sure—but I never heard him go off about it. He was always very gentlemanly: and gentlemen never shout. Crybabies and Muggletonians shout, but gentlemen never.”

“Thank you, sister.—There, put it down, Dates; are the horses ready?”

“Thanks, sis. — There, set it down, Dates; are the horses ready?”

“Just driving round, sir, I believe.”

"Just driving around, sir, I think."

“Why, Pierre,” said his mother, glancing out at the window, “are you going to Santa Fe De Bogota with that enormous old phaeton;—what do you take that Juggernaut out for?”

“Why, Pierre,” his mother said, glancing out the window, “are you taking that huge old carriage to Santa Fe De Bogota? What do you need that oversized vehicle for?”

“Humor, sister, humor; I like it because it’s old-fashioned, and because the seat is such a wide sofa of a seat, and finally because a young lady by the name of Lucy Tartan cherishes a high regard for it. She vows she would like to be married in it.”

“Humor, sis, humor; I like it because it’s vintage, and because the seat is such a big, comfy sofa, and finally because a young woman named Lucy Tartan has a deep appreciation for it. She insists she wants to get married in it.”

“Well, Pierre, all I have to say, is, be sure that Christopher puts the coach-hammer and nails, and plenty of cords and screws into the box. And you had better let him follow you in one of the farm wagons, with a spare axle and some boards.”

“Well, Pierre, all I have to say is make sure that Christopher puts the coach hammer, nails, and plenty of cords and screws into the box. And you should probably let him follow you in one of the farm wagons, with a spare axle and some boards.”

“No fear, sister; no fear;—I shall take the best of care of the old phaeton. The quaint old arms on the panel, always remind me who it was that first rode in it.”

“No worries, sister; no worries;—I’ll take great care of the old phaeton. The unique old designs on the panel always remind me of who first rode in it.”

“I am glad you have that memory, brother Pierre.”

"I’m glad you have that memory, brother Pierre."

“And who it was that next rode in it.”

“And who it was that next rode in it.”

“Bless you!—God bless you, my dear son!—always think of him and you can never err; yes, always think of your dear perfect father, Pierre.”

“Bless you!—God bless you, my dear son!—always think of him and you can never go wrong; yes, always think of your wonderful father, Pierre.”

“Well, kiss me now, dear sister, for I must go.”

“Well, kiss me now, dear sister, because I have to go.”

“There; this is my cheek, and the other is Lucy’s; though now that I look at them both, I think that hers is getting to be the most blooming; sweeter dews fall on that one, I suppose.”

“There; this is my cheek, and the other is Lucy’s; but now that I look at them both, I think hers is becoming the more radiant; sweeter dews fall on that one, I guess.”

Pierre laughed, and ran out of the room, for old Christopher was getting impatient. His mother went to the window and stood there.

Pierre laughed and ran out of the room because old Christopher was getting impatient. His mother went to the window and stood there.

“A noble boy, and docile”—she murmured—“he has all the frolicsomeness of youth, with little of its giddiness. And he does not grow vain-glorious in sophomorean wisdom. I thank heaven I sent him not to college. A noble boy, and docile. A fine, proud, loving, docile, vigorous boy. Pray God, he never becomes otherwise to me. His little wife, that is to be, will not estrange him from me; for she too is docile,—beautiful, and reverential, and most docile. Seldom yet have I known such blue eyes as hers, that were not docile, and would not follow a bold black one, as two meek blue-ribboned ewes, follow their martial leader. How glad am I that Pierre loves her so, and not some dark-eyed haughtiness, with whom I could never live in peace; but who would be ever setting her young married state before my elderly widowed one, and claiming all the homage of my dear boy—the fine, proud, loving, docile, vigorous boy!—the lofty-minded, well-born, noble boy; and with such sweet docilities! See his hair! He does in truth illustrate that fine saying of his father’s, that as the noblest colts, in three points—abundant hair, swelling chest, and sweet docility—should resemble a fine woman, so should a noble youth. Well, good-bye, Pierre, and a merry morning to ye!”

“A noble boy, and easy to handle,” she murmured, “he has all the playfulness of youth, with little of its recklessness. And he doesn’t become vain with his newfound knowledge. Thank goodness I didn’t send him to college. A noble boy, and easy to handle. A fine, proud, loving, energetic boy. I hope he never changes from that. His little fiancée won’t distance him from me; she is also easy to handle—beautiful, respectful, and very docile. I have rarely seen blue eyes like hers that weren’t docile, and wouldn’t follow a bold black one, like two gentle ewes following their strong leader. How glad I am that Pierre loves her so, and not some dark-eyed snob, with whom I could never be at peace; someone who would constantly compare her young married life to my elderly widowhood, and demand all the attention of my dear boy—the fine, proud, loving, energetic boy!—the lofty-minded, well-born, noble boy; with such sweet docility! Look at his hair! He really embodies that great saying of his father’s, that just as the finest colts, in three aspects—abundant hair, a strong chest, and sweet docility—should resemble a fine woman, so should a noble youth. Well, goodbye, Pierre, and have a wonderful morning!”

So saying she crossed the room, and—resting in a corner—her glad proud eye met the old General’s baton, which the day before in one of his frolic moods Pierre had taken from its accustomed place in the pictured-bannered hall. She lifted it, and musingly swayed it to and fro; then paused, and staff-wise rested with it in her hand. Her stately beauty had ever somewhat martial in it; and now she looked the daughter of a General, as she was; for Pierre’s was a double revolutionary descent. On both sides he sprang from heroes.

As she said this, she crossed the room and, leaning in a corner, her bright, proud gaze landed on the old General’s baton, which Pierre had taken from its usual spot in the picture-laden hall the day before during one of his playful moments. She picked it up and thoughtfully swung it back and forth; then she paused and held it like a staff. Her majestic beauty always had a somewhat military air, and now she truly looked like the daughter of a General, which she was; Pierre had revolutionary heroes in his family on both sides.

“This is his inheritance—this symbol of command! and I swell out to think it. Yet but just now I fondled the conceit that Pierre was so sweetly docile! Here sure is a most strange inconsistency! For is sweet docility a general’s badge? and is this baton but a distaff then?—Here’s something widely wrong. Now I almost wish him otherwise than sweet and docile to me, seeing that it must be hard for man to be an uncompromising hero and a commander among his race, and yet never ruffle any domestic brow. Pray heaven he show his heroicness in some smooth way of favoring fortune, not be called out to be a hero of some dark hope forlorn;—of some dark hope forlorn, whose cruelness makes a savage of a man. Give him, O God, regardful gales! Fan him with unwavering prosperities! So shall he remain all docility to me, and yet prove a haughty hero to the world!”

“This is his inheritance—this symbol of authority! and I feel proud thinking about it. Yet just a moment ago, I thought Pierre was so wonderfully compliant! Here lies a strange contradiction! Is sweet compliance really a general's badge? And is this baton just a tool for women?—Something feels very off here. Now I almost wish he wasn't so compliant with me, knowing it must be tough for a man to be both a resolute hero and a leader among his peers while never upsetting anyone at home. I pray that he shows his heroism through some fortunate turn of events, rather than being called to be a hero of some bleak, hopeless situation;—of some bleak, hopeless situation whose harshness turns a man into a wild beast. Grant him, O God, favorable winds! Bless him with steady successes! That way he can remain entirely compliant with me, yet still be a proud hero to the world!”

BOOK II.
LOVE, DELIGHT, AND ALARM.

I.

ON the previous evening, Pierre had arranged with Lucy the plan of a long winding ride, among the hills which stretched around to the southward from the wide plains of Saddle-Meadows.

ON the previous evening, Pierre had made plans with Lucy for a long, winding ride through the hills that stretched south from the wide plains of Saddle-Meadows.

Though the vehicle was a sexagenarian, the animals that drew it, were but six-year colts. The old phaeton had outlasted several generations of its drawers.

Though the vehicle was sixty years old, the animals pulling it were just six-year-old colts. The old phaeton had outlasted several generations of its pullers.

Pierre rolled beneath the village elms in billowy style, and soon drew up before the white cottage door. Flinging his reins upon the ground he entered the house.

Pierre rolled under the village elms with a flourish and soon came to a stop in front of the white cottage door. Throwing his reins on the ground, he went inside the house.

The two colts were his particular and confidential friends; born on the same land with him, and fed with the same corn, which, in the form of Indian-cakes, Pierre himself was often wont to eat for breakfast. The same fountain that by one branch supplied the stables with water, by another supplied Pierre’s pitcher. They were a sort of family cousins to Pierre, those horses; and they were splendid young cousins; very showy in their redundant manes and mighty paces, but not at all vain or arrogant. They acknowledged Pierre as the undoubted head of the house of Glendinning. They well knew that they were but an inferior and subordinate branch of the Glendinnings, bound in perpetual feudal fealty to its headmost representative. Therefore, these young cousins never permitted themselves to run from Pierre; they were impatient in their paces, but very patient in the halt. They were full of good-humor too, and kind as kittens.

The two colts were his special and trusted friends; born on the same land as him and fed the same corn, which, in the form of Indian-cakes, Pierre often enjoyed for breakfast. The same fountain that provided water for the stables also filled Pierre’s pitcher. Those horses were like family cousins to Pierre; they were impressive young cousins, flashy with their thick manes and strong strides, but not at all vain or arrogant. They recognized Pierre as the clear leader of the house of Glendinning. They understood that they were just a lesser branch of the Glendinnings, committed in loyalty to its top representative. Therefore, these young cousins never ran away from Pierre; they were eager in their movements but very patient when stopped. They were full of good humor too, and as friendly as kittens.

“Bless me, how can you let them stand all alone that way, Pierre,” cried Lucy, as she and Pierre stepped forth from the cottage door, Pierre laden with shawls, parasol, reticule, and a small hamper.

“Wow, how can you let them just stand there all alone like that, Pierre?” Lucy exclaimed as she and Pierre stepped out of the cottage door, Pierre carrying shawls, a parasol, a purse, and a small basket.

“Wait a bit,” cried Pierre, dropping his load; “I will show you what my colts are.”

“Wait a minute,” shouted Pierre, dropping his load; “I’ll show you what my colts are.”

So saying, he spoke to them mildly, and went close up to them, and patted them. The colts neighed; the nigh colt neighing a little jealously, as if Pierre had not patted impartially. Then, with a low, long, almost inaudible whistle, Pierre got between the colts, among the harness. Whereat Lucy started, and uttered a faint cry, but Pierre told her to keep perfectly quiet, for there was not the least danger in the world. And Lucy did keep quiet; for somehow, though she always started when Pierre seemed in the slightest jeopardy, yet at bottom she rather cherished a notion that Pierre bore a charmed life, and by no earthly possibility could die from her, or experience any harm, when she was within a thousand leagues.

So saying, he spoke to them gently, moved closer, and patted them. The colts neighed; the near colt neighed a bit jealously, as if Pierre hadn't patted them evenly. Then, with a low, long, almost silent whistle, Pierre stepped between the colts, among the harness. Lucy jumped and let out a soft cry, but Pierre told her to stay completely calm, as there was no danger at all. Lucy obeyed; for some reason, even though she always flinched when Pierre seemed in any kind of danger, deep down she believed that Pierre had a special kind of protection and that he could never be harmed as long as she was anywhere nearby.

Pierre, still between the horses, now stepped upon the pole of the phaeton; then stepping down, indefinitely disappeared, or became partially obscured among the living colonnade of the horses’ eight slender and glossy legs. He entered the colonnade one way, and after a variety of meanderings, came out another way; during all of which equestrian performance, the two colts kept gayly neighing, and good-humoredly moving their heads perpendicularly up and down; and sometimes turning them sideways toward Lucy; as much as to say—We understand young master; we understand him, Miss; never fear, pretty lady: why, bless your delicious little heart, we played with Pierre before you ever did.

Pierre, still between the horses, stepped up onto the pole of the phaeton. Then, stepping down, he disappeared or got partially lost among the living column of the horses’ eight slender and shiny legs. He entered the column in one direction, and after wandering around a bit, came out in another direction. Throughout this equestrian display, the two colts kept happily neighing and cheerfully bobbing their heads up and down, sometimes turning them sideways toward Lucy, as if to say—We get it, young master; we understand you, Miss; don’t worry, pretty lady: we played with Pierre before you ever did.

“Are you afraid of their running away now, Lucy?” said Pierre, returning to her.

“Are you scared they might run away now, Lucy?” Pierre said as he came back to her.

“Not much, Pierre; the superb fellows! Why, Pierre, they have made an officer of you—look!” and she pointed to two foam-flakes epauletting his shoulders. “Bravissimo again! I called you my recruit, when you left my window this morning, and here you are promoted.”

“Not much, Pierre; those amazing guys! Look, Pierre, they’ve made you an officer—check it out!” She pointed to the two epaulettes on his shoulders. “Brilliant! I called you my recruit when you left my window this morning, and now you’re promoted.”

“Very prettily conceited, Lucy. But see, you don’t admire their coats; they wear nothing but the finest Genoa velvet, Lucy. See! did you ever see such well-groomed horses?”

“Very charmingly vain, Lucy. But look, you don’t appreciate their coats; they wear nothing but the best Genoa velvet, Lucy. Look! Have you ever seen such well-groomed horses?”

“Never!”

"Not a chance!"

“Then what say you to have them for my groomsmen, Lucy? Glorious groomsmen they would make, I declare. They should have a hundred ells of white favors all over their manes and tails; and when they drew us to church, they would be still all the time scattering white favors from their mouths, just as they did here on me. Upon my soul, they shall be my groomsmen, Lucy. Stately stags! playful dogs! heroes, Lucy. We shall have no marriage bells; they shall neigh for us, Lucy; we shall be wedded to the martial sound of Job’s trumpeters, Lucy. Hark! they are neighing now to think of it.”

“Then what do you think about having them as my groomsmen, Lucy? They would make such glorious groomsmen, I swear. They should wear a hundred lengths of white ribbons all over their manes and tails; and when they pull us to the church, they would be constantly scattering white ribbons from their mouths, just like they did for me here. I’m serious, they will be my groomsmen, Lucy. Stately stags! Playful dogs! Heroes, Lucy. We won’t have any marriage bells; they’ll neigh for us, Lucy; we’ll be married to the martial sound of Job’s trumpeters, Lucy. Listen! They’re neighing now just thinking about it.”

“Neighing at your lyrics, Pierre. Come, let us be off. Here, the shawl, the parasol, the basket: what are you looking at them so for?”

“Neighing at your lyrics, Pierre. Come on, let’s go. Here, the shawl, the parasol, the basket: why are you staring at them like that?”

“I was thinking, Lucy, of the sad state I am in. Not six months ago, I saw a poor affianced fellow, an old comrade of mine, trudging along with his Lucy Tartan, a hillock of bundles under either arm; and I said to myself—There goes a sumpter, now; poor devil, he’s a lover. And now look at me! Well, life’s a burden, they say; why not be burdened cheerily? But look ye, Lucy, I am going to enter a formal declaration and protest before matters go further with us. When we are married, I am not to carry any bundles, unless in cases of real need; and what is more, when there are any of your young lady acquaintances in sight, I am not to be unnecessarily called upon to back up, and load for their particular edification.”

“I was thinking, Lucy, about how sad my situation is. Not even six months ago, I saw a poor guy I used to know, trudging along with his Lucy Tartan, with a pile of bags under each arm; and I thought to myself—There goes a packhorse, poor guy, he’s in love. And now look at me! Well, they say life’s a burden; why not bear it with a smile? But listen, Lucy, I’m going to make a formal declaration and protest before things go any further between us. Once we’re married, I refuse to carry any bundles unless it’s really necessary; and what’s more, when any of your young lady friends are around, I shouldn’t have to back up and carry stuff just to amuse them.”

“Now I am really vexed with you, Pierre; that is the first ill-natured innuendo I ever heard from you. Are there any of my young lady acquaintances in sight now, I should like to know?”

“Now I’m really annoyed with you, Pierre; that’s the first snarky comment I’ve ever heard from you. Are any of my young female friends around right now? I’d like to know.”

“Six of them, right over the way,” said Pierre; “but they keep behind the curtains. I never trust your solitary village streets, Lucy. Sharp-shooters behind every clap-board, Lucy.”

“Six of them, right across the way,” Pierre said; “but they’re hiding behind the curtains. I never trust those quiet village streets, Lucy. There are sharpshooters behind every wooden board, Lucy.”

“Pray, then, dear Pierre, do let us be off!”

“Come on, dear Pierre, let’s get going!”


II.

WHILE Pierre and Lucy are now rolling along under the elms, let it be said who Lucy Tartan was. It is needless to say that she was a beauty; because chestnut-haired, bright-cheeked youths like Pierre Glendinning, seldom fall in love with any but a beauty. And in the times to come, there must be—as in the present times, and in the times gone by—some splendid men, and some transcendent women; and how can they ever be, unless always, throughout all time, here and there, a handsome youth weds with a handsome maid!

WHILE Pierre and Lucy are now cruising under the elms, let’s talk about who Lucy Tartan was. There's no need to mention that she was gorgeous; after all, chestnut-haired, rosy-cheeked guys like Pierre Glendinning usually only fall for beauties. In the future, just like in the present and the past, there will always be some amazing men and outstanding women; and how can that happen unless, throughout all time, a handsome guy pairs up with a beautiful girl!

But though owing to the above-named provisions of dame Nature, there always will be beautiful women in the world; yet the world will never see another Lucy Tartan. Her cheeks were tinted with the most delicate white and red, the white predominating. Her eyes some god brought down from heaven; her hair was Danae’s, spangled with Jove’s shower; her teeth were dived for in the Persian Sea.

But thanks to nature's design, there will always be beautiful women in the world; however, the world will never see another Lucy Tartan. Her cheeks were touched with the most delicate shades of white and red, with white being more prominent. Her eyes looked like they were brought down from heaven by a god; her hair was like Danae's, shining with a sprinkle of Jove's shower; her teeth seemed to have come from the Persian Sea.

If long wont to fix his glance on those who, trudging through the humbler walks of life, and whom unequal toil and poverty deform; if that man shall haply view some fair and gracious daughter of the gods, who, from unknown climes of loveliness and affluence, comes floating into sight, all symmetry and radiance; how shall he be transported, that in a world so full of vice and misery as ours, there should yet shine forth this visible semblance of the heavens. For a lovely woman is not entirely of this earth. Her own sex regard her not as such. A crowd of women eye a transcendent beauty entering a room, much as though a bird from Arabia had lighted on the window sill. Say what you will, their jealousy—if any—is but an afterbirth to their open admiration. Do men envy the gods? And shall women envy the goddesses? A beautiful woman is born Queen of men and women both, as Mary Stuart was born Queen of Scots, whether men or women. All mankind are her Scots; her leal clans are numbered by the nations. A true gentleman in Kentucky would cheerfully die for a beautiful woman in Hindostan, though he never saw her. Yea, count down his heart in death-drops for her; and go to Pluto, that she might go to Paradise. He would turn Turk before he would disown an allegiance hereditary to all gentlemen, from the hour their Grand Master, Adam, first knelt to Eve.

If a man often fixates his gaze on those who, struggling through the lower tiers of life, are marked by hard work and poverty; if he happens to see a beautiful and gracious daughter of the gods, who emerges from unknown lands of beauty and wealth, radiating perfect form and brilliance; how amazed he must be that in a world so filled with vice and suffering, there still shines this visible reflection of the heavens. For a beautiful woman is not entirely of this world. Other women do not see her that way. A group of women glances at a stunning beauty entering a room, much like a bird from Arabia has landed on the windowsill. Regardless of what you might say, their jealousy—if any—is merely a side effect of their open admiration. Do men envy the gods? And should women envy the goddesses? A beautiful woman is born the Queen of both men and women, just as Mary Stuart was born the Queen of Scots, whether for men or women. All of humanity are her Scots; her loyal followers are counted among the nations. A true gentleman in Kentucky would willingly die for a beautiful woman in India, even if he had never seen her. In fact, he would count down his heart in death-drops for her, and descend to the underworld so she might ascend to Paradise. He would convert to another faith before he would renounce an allegiance that has been passed down to all gentlemen since their Grand Master, Adam, first knelt to Eve.

A plain-faced Queen of Spain dwells not in half the glory a beautiful milliner does. Her soldiers can break heads, but her Highness can not crack a heart; and the beautiful milliner might string hearts for necklaces. Undoubtedly, Beauty made the first Queen. If ever again the succession to the German Empire should be contested, and one poor lame lawyer should present the claims of the first excellingly beautiful woman he chanced to see—she would thereupon be unanimously elected Empress of the Holy Roman German Empire;—that is to say, if all the Germans were true, free-hearted and magnanimous gentlemen, at all capable of appreciating so immense an honor.

A plain-faced Queen of Spain lives with far less glory than a beautiful hat maker. Her soldiers can break heads, but she can't break hearts; meanwhile, the beautiful hat maker could collect hearts like necklaces. Clearly, Beauty made the first Queen. If there were ever a dispute over who should succeed to the German Empire, and some unfortunate lame lawyer were to put forward the claims of the first incredibly beautiful woman he happened to see—she would be immediately elected Empress of the Holy Roman German Empire; that is, if all the Germans were truly honorable, generous gentlemen, capable of appreciating such a great honor.

It is nonsense to talk of France as the seat of all civility. Did not those French heathen have a Salique law? Three of the most bewitching creatures,—immortal flowers of the line of Valois—were excluded from the French throne by that infamous provision. France, indeed! whose Catholic millions still worship Mary Queen of Heaven; and for ten generations refused cap and knee to many angel Maries, rightful Queens of France. Here is cause for universal war. See how vilely nations, as well as men, assume and wear unchallenged the choicest titles, however without merit. The Americans, and not the French, are the world’s models of chivalry. Our Salique Law provides that universal homage shall be paid all beautiful women. No man’s most solid rights shall weigh against her airiest whims. If you buy the best seat in the coach, to go and consult a doctor on a matter of life and death, you shall cheerfully abdicate that best seat, and limp away on foot, if a pretty woman, traveling, shake one feather from the stage-house door.

It’s absurd to think of France as the center of all civility. Didn’t those French heathens have a Salique law? Three of the most enchanting women—immortal beauties from the line of Valois—were barred from the French throne by that notorious rule. France, indeed! where millions of Catholics continue to worship Mary, Queen of Heaven, and for ten generations have denied respect to many rightful Marys, true Queens of France. This is a reason for universal conflict. Look at how shamelessly nations, like individuals, claim and flaunt prestigious titles, regardless of whether they deserve them. The Americans, not the French, are the true exemplars of chivalry. Our Salique law states that universal respect must be given to all beautiful women. No man’s strongest rights should outweigh her slightest whims. If you buy the best seat in the coach to consult a doctor about a life-or-death issue, you will gladly give up that prime seat and walk away on foot if a pretty woman traveling nearby shakes just one feather from the stage-house door.

Now, since we began by talking of a certain young lady that went out riding with a certain youth; and yet find ourselves, after leading such a merry dance, fast by a stage-house window;—this may seem rather irregular sort of writing. But whither indeed should Lucy Tartan conduct us, but among mighty Queens, and all other creatures of high degree; and finally set us roaming, to see whether the wide world can match so fine a wonder. By immemorial usage, am I not bound to celebrate this Lucy Tartan? Who shall stay me? Is she not my hero’s own affianced? What can be gainsaid? Where underneath the tester of the night sleeps such another?

Now, since we started by talking about a certain young woman who went out riding with a certain young man, and yet we find ourselves, after this roundabout journey, right by a stage-house window—this might seem like a bit of a strange way to write. But really, where else should Lucy Tartan take us, if not among powerful queens and all sorts of high-ranking people? Ultimately, we should wander and see if the vast world can match such a remarkable wonder. By longstanding tradition, am I not obligated to celebrate this Lucy Tartan? Who can stop me? Isn’t she engaged to my hero? What can be argued against that? Where else, beneath the night sky, is there another like her?

Yet, how would Lucy Tartan shrink from all this noise and clatter! She is bragged of, but not brags. Thus far she hath floated as stilly through this life, as thistle-down floats over meadows. Noiseless, she, except with Pierre; and even with him she lives through many a panting hush. Oh, those love-pauses that they know—how ominous of their future; for pauses precede the earthquake, and every other terrible commotion! But blue be their sky awhile, and lightsome all their chat, and frolicsome their humors.

Yet, how would Lucy Tartan shy away from all this noise and chaos! She's praised, but doesn't boast. So far, she has drifted through life as quietly as thistle-down floats over meadows. She’s silent, except with Pierre; and even with him, she experiences many a breathless silence. Oh, those love pauses—that they share—how foreboding of their future; because pauses come before the earthquake, and every other dreadful disruption! But may their sky be blue for a while, and their conversations cheerful, and their moods playful.

Never shall I get down the vile inventory! How, if with paper and with pencil I went out into the starry night to inventorize the heavens? Who shall tell stars as teaspoons? Who shall put down the charms of Lucy Tartan upon paper?

Never will I create that awful list! How could I, with paper and pencil, step out into the starry night to catalogue the heavens? Who could count stars like they were teaspoons? Who could capture the allure of Lucy Tartan on paper?

And for the rest; her parentage, what fortune she would possess, how many dresses in her wardrobe, and how many rings upon her fingers; cheerfully would I let the genealogists, tax-gatherers, and upholsterers attend to that. My proper province is with the angelical part of Lucy. But as in some quarters, there prevails a sort of prejudice against angels, who are merely angels and nothing more; therefore I shall martyrize myself, by letting such gentlemen and ladies into some details of Lucy Tartan’s history.

And as for everything else—her family background, the fortune she might have, how many dresses she has in her closet, and how many rings are on her fingers—I would gladly leave that to the genealogists, tax collectors, and interior decorators. My focus is on the heavenly side of Lucy. But since there’s a bias in some circles against angels who are just angels and nothing more, I will make myself suffer by sharing some details about Lucy Tartan’s story with those gentlemen and ladies.

She was the daughter of an early and most cherished friend of Pierre’s father. But that father was now dead, and she resided an only daughter with her mother, in a very fine house in the city. But though her home was in the city, her heart was twice a year in the country. She did not at all love the city and its empty, heartless, ceremonial ways. It was very strange, but most eloquently significant of her own natural angelhood that, though born among brick and mortar in a sea-port, she still pined for unbaked earth and inland grass. So the sweet linnet, though born inside of wires in a lady’s chamber on the ocean coast, and ignorant all its life of any other spot; yet, when spring-time comes, it is seized with flutterings and vague impatiences; it can not eat or drink for these wild longings. Though unlearned by any experience, still the inspired linnet divinely knows that the inland migrating time has come. And just so with Lucy in her first longings for the verdure. Every spring those wild flutterings shook her; every spring, this sweet linnet girl did migrate inland. Oh God grant that those other and long after nameless flutterings of her inmost soul, when all life was become weary to her—God grant, that those deeper flutterings in her were equally significant of her final heavenly migration from this heavy earth.

She was the daughter of an early and beloved friend of Pierre’s dad. But that dad was now gone, and she lived as the only daughter with her mom in a beautiful house in the city. Even though her home was in the city, her heart was twice a year in the countryside. She didn’t really like the city and its empty, heartless, formal ways. It was quite strange, but very telling of her natural goodness that, even though she was born among brick and mortar in a seaport, she still longed for untamed earth and grasslands. Just like a sweet linnet, born in a room surrounded by wires on the ocean coast and knowing nothing of any other place, yet, when spring arrives, it feels a strong urge and vague restlessness; it can’t eat or drink for these wild cravings. Despite having no prior experience, the inspired linnet instinctively knows it’s time to migrate inland. And just like that, Lucy felt her first deep desires for green spaces. Every spring, those wild flutters stirred within her; every spring, this sweet linnet girl moved inland. Oh God, may those other unnamed stirrings of her innermost soul, when life felt heavy to her—God, may those deeper stirrings also signal her final heavenly departure from this burdensome earth.

It was fortunate for Lucy that her Aunt Lanyllyn—a pensive, childless, white-turbaned widow—possessed and occupied a pretty cottage in the village of Saddle Meadows; and still more fortunate, that this excellent old aunt was very partial to her, and always felt a quiet delight in having Lucy near her. So Aunt Lanyllyn’s cottage, in effect, was Lucy’s. And now, for some years past, she had annually spent several months at Saddle Meadows; and it was among the pure and soft incitements of the country that Pierre first had felt toward Lucy the dear passion which now made him wholly hers.

It was lucky for Lucy that her Aunt Lanyllyn—a thoughtful, childless widow in a white turban—owned a charming cottage in the village of Saddle Meadows; and even luckier that this wonderful old aunt adored her and always enjoyed having Lucy around. So Aunt Lanyllyn’s cottage essentially belonged to Lucy. For the past few years, she had spent several months each year in Saddle Meadows; and it was amidst the gentle and soothing charms of the countryside that Pierre first developed the deep love for Lucy that now completely belonged to her.

Lucy had two brothers; one her senior, by three years, and the other her junior by two. But these young men were officers in the navy; and so they did not permanently live with Lucy and her mother.

Lucy had two brothers: one who was three years older and the other who was two years younger. However, these young men were navy officers, so they didn't live permanently with Lucy and her mother.

Mrs. Tartan was mistress of an ample fortune. She was, moreover, perfectly aware that such was the fact, and was somewhat inclined to force it upon the notice of other people, nowise interested in the matter. In other words, Mrs. Tartan, instead of being daughter-proud, for which she had infinite reason, was a little inclined to being purse-proud, for which she had not the slightest reason; seeing that the Great Mogul probably possessed a larger fortune than she, not to speak of the Shah of Persia and Baron Rothschild, and a thousand other millionaires; whereas, the Grand Turk, and all their other majesties of Europe, Asia, and Africa to boot, could not, in all their joint dominions, boast so sweet a girl as Lucy. Nevertheless, Mrs. Tartan was an excellent sort of lady, as this lady-like world goes. She subscribed to charities, and owned five pews in as many churches, and went about trying to promote the general felicity of the world, by making all the handsome young people of her acquaintance marry one another. In other words, she was a match-maker—not a Lucifer match-maker—though, to tell the truth, she may have kindled the matrimonial blues in certain dissatisfied gentlemen’s breasts, who had been wedded under her particular auspices, and by her particular advice. Rumor said—but rumor is always fibbing—that there was a secret society of dissatisfied young husbands, who were at the pains of privately circulating handbills among all unmarried young strangers, warning them against the insidious approaches of Mrs. Tartan; and, for reference, named themselves in cipher. But this could not have been true; for, flushed with a thousand matches—burning blue or bright, it made little matter—Mrs. Tartan sailed the seas of fashion, causing all topsails to lower to her; and towing flotillas of young ladies, for all of whom she was bound to find the finest husband harbors in the world.

Mrs. Tartan had a substantial fortune. She was also fully aware of this fact and often liked to make sure others noticed it, even when they weren’t interested. In other words, instead of feeling proud of her daughter, which she had every reason to, Mrs. Tartan was a bit inclined to be proud of her wealth, which she had no real reason to be; after all, the Great Mogul probably had a larger fortune than hers, not to mention the Shah of Persia, Baron Rothschild, and a thousand other millionaires; whereas none of those royals from Europe, Asia, or Africa could claim a sweeter girl than Lucy. Still, Mrs. Tartan was a decent lady by most standards. She donated to charities, owned five pews in different churches, and worked to spread happiness in the world by trying to get all the attractive young people she knew to marry each other. In other words, she was a matchmaker—not in a tricky way—but to be honest, she might have caused some marital regrets among certain unhappy gentlemen who had married under her guidance. Rumor had it—though rumors are often untrue—that there was a secret group of unhappy young husbands privately distributing flyers among unmarried young men, warning them about Mrs. Tartan’s sneaky ways, using a code name. But that couldn’t be true; with her many successful matches—whether good or bad—Mrs. Tartan navigated the social scene, making everyone take notice of her, while bringing along a fleet of young ladies for whom she promised to find the best husbands in the world.

But does not match-making, like charity, begin at home? Why is her own daughter Lucy without a mate? But not so fast; Mrs. Tartan years ago laid out that sweet programme concerning Pierre and Lucy; but in this case, her programme happened to coincide, in some degree, with a previous one in heaven, and only for that cause did it come to pass, that Pierre Glendinning was the proud elect of Lucy Tartan. Besides, this being a thing so nearly affecting herself, Mrs. Tartan had, for the most part, been rather circumspect and cautious in all her manœuvrings with Pierre and Lucy. Moreover, the thing demanded no manœuvring at all. The two Platonic particles, after roaming in quest of each other, from the time of Saturn and Ops till now; they came together before Mrs. Tartan’s own eyes; and what more could Mrs. Tartan do toward making them forever one and indivisible? Once, and only once, had a dim suspicion passed through Pierre’s mind, that Mrs. Tartan was a lady thimble-rigger, and slyly rolled the pea.

But doesn’t matchmaking, like charity, start at home? Why doesn’t her daughter Lucy have a partner? But hold on; years ago, Mrs. Tartan had a sweet plan for Pierre and Lucy. However, in this case, her plan happened to align, at least in part, with a prior one made in heaven, and that’s how Pierre Glendinning became the lucky choice of Lucy Tartan. Additionally, since this was something that directly affected her, Mrs. Tartan had mostly been careful and cautious in her efforts with Pierre and Lucy. Besides, there was really no need for any maneuvering at all. The two destined souls, having searched for each other since the time of Saturn and Ops, found each other right before Mrs. Tartan’s eyes; what more could she do to make them forever one and inseparable? Once, and only once, Pierre had a faint suspicion that Mrs. Tartan was a bit of a trickster, slyly moving the pieces around.

In their less mature acquaintance, he was breakfasting with Lucy and her mother in the city, and the first cup of coffee had been poured out by Mrs. Tartan, when she declared she smelt matches burning somewhere in the house, and she must see them extinguished. So banning all pursuit, she rose to seek for the burning matches, leaving the pair alone to interchange the civilities of the coffee; and finally sent word to them, from above stairs, that the matches, or something else, had given her a headache, and begged Lucy to send her up some toast and tea, for she would breakfast in her own chamber that morning.

In their less familiar acquaintance, he was having breakfast with Lucy and her mother in the city when Mrs. Tartan poured the first cup of coffee. She then declared that she smelled matches burning somewhere in the house and needed to make sure they were put out. Banning any further action, she got up to find the burning matches, leaving the two of them alone to chat over coffee. Eventually, she sent a message from upstairs that the matches, or something else, had given her a headache and asked Lucy to bring her some toast and tea because she would have breakfast in her own room that morning.

Upon this, Pierre looked from Lucy to his boots, and as he lifted his eyes again, saw Anacreon on the sofa on one side of him, and Moore’s Melodies on the other, and some honey on the table, and a bit of white satin on the floor, and a sort of bride’s veil on the chandelier.

Upon this, Pierre looked from Lucy to his boots, and as he lifted his eyes again, he saw Anacreon on the sofa on one side of him, and Moore’s Melodies on the other, and some honey on the table, and a bit of white satin on the floor, and a kind of bride’s veil on the chandelier.

Never mind though—thought Pierre, fixing his gaze on Lucy—I’m entirely willing to be caught, when the bait is set in Paradise, and the bait is such an angel. Again he glanced at Lucy, and saw a look of infinite subdued vexation, and some unwonted pallor on her cheek. Then willingly he would have kissed the delicious bait, that so gently hated to be tasted in the trap. But glancing round again, and seeing that the music, which Mrs. Tartan, under the pretense of putting in order, had been adjusting upon the piano; seeing that this music was now in a vertical pile against the wall, with—“Love was once a little boy,” for the outermost and only visible sheet; and thinking this to be a remarkable coincidence under the circumstances; Pierre could not refrain from a humorous smile, though it was a very gentle one, and immediately repented of, especially as Lucy seeing and interpreting it, immediately arose, with an unaccountable, indignant, angelical, adorable, and all-persuasive “Mr. Glendinning?” utterly confounded in him the slightest germ of suspicion as to Lucy’s collusion in her mother’s imagined artifices.

Never mind though—thought Pierre, focusing on Lucy—I’m totally fine with being caught when the bait is set in Paradise, and the bait is such an angel. He glanced at Lucy again and noticed a look of deep, restrained annoyance and a bit of unusual paleness on her cheek. He would have gladly kissed the tempting bait, which seemed to gently resent being lured into the trap. But looking around again, he saw that the music Mrs. Tartan had been organizing on the piano was now stacked vertically against the wall, with “Love was once a little boy” on top, being the only visible sheet. Thinking this was an interesting coincidence given the situation, Pierre couldn’t help but smile humorously, though it was a gentle smile that he immediately regretted, especially since Lucy noticed and interpreted it. She immediately stood up, with an inexplicable, indignant, angelic, adorable, and completely persuasive “Mr. Glendinning?” which completely shattered any hint of doubt he might have had about Lucy collaborating in her mother’s supposed schemes.

Indeed, Mrs. Tartan’s having any thing whatever to do, or hint, or finesse in this matter of the loves of Pierre and Lucy, was nothing less than immensely gratuitous and sacrilegious. Would Mrs. Tartan doctor lilies when they blow? Would Mrs. Tartan set about match-making between the steel and magnet? Preposterous Mrs. Tartan! But this whole world is a preposterous one, with many preposterous people in it; chief among whom was Mrs. Tartan, match-maker to the nation.

Indeed, Mrs. Tartan having any involvement at all, or suggestion, or skill in the matter of Pierre and Lucy's romance was nothing short of incredibly unnecessary and outrageous. Would Mrs. Tartan care for lilies when they bloom? Would Mrs. Tartan try to set up a connection between steel and a magnet? Ridiculous Mrs. Tartan! But this entire world is a ridiculous one, filled with many ridiculous people; chief among them was Mrs. Tartan, matchmaker to the nation.

This conduct of Mrs. Tartan, was the more absurd, seeing that she could not but know that Mrs. Glendinning desired the thing. And was not Lucy wealthy?—going to be, that is, very wealthy when her mother died;—(sad thought that for Mrs. Tartan)—and was not her husband’s family of the best; and had not Lucy’s father been a bosom friend of Pierre’s father? And though Lucy might be matched to some one man, where among women was the match for Lucy? Exceedingly preposterous Mrs. Tartan! But when a lady like Mrs. Tartan has nothing positive and useful to do, then she will do just such preposterous things as Mrs. Tartan did.

Mrs. Tartan's behavior was even more ridiculous because she had to know that Mrs. Glendinning wanted it. And wasn't Lucy wealthy?—she was going to be very rich when her mother passed away;—(a sad thought for Mrs. Tartan)—and didn't her husband come from a great family? Plus, hadn't Lucy's father been a close friend of Pierre’s dad? Even though Lucy could be paired with some man, where could you find a match for her among women? Truly absurd, Mrs. Tartan! But when a woman like Mrs. Tartan has nothing worthwhile to do, she ends up acting in such absurd ways as she did.

Well, time went on; and Pierre loved Lucy, and Lucy, Pierre; till at last the two young naval gentlemen, her brothers, happened to arrive in Mrs. Tartan’s drawing-room, from their first cruise—a three years’ one up the Mediterranean. They rather stared at Pierre, finding him on the sofa, and Lucy not very remote.

Well, time passed; and Pierre loved Lucy, and Lucy loved Pierre; until finally, her two young naval brothers came into Mrs. Tartan’s drawing-room, back from their first cruise—a three-year trip around the Mediterranean. They looked a bit surprised to see Pierre on the sofa, with Lucy not too far away.

“Pray, be seated, gentlemen,” said Pierre. “Plenty of room.”

“Please, have a seat, gentlemen,” said Pierre. “There’s plenty of room.”

“My darling brothers!” cried Lucy, embracing them.

“My dear brothers!” exclaimed Lucy, hugging them.

“My darling brothers and sister!” cried Pierre, folding them together.

“My dear brothers and sister!” exclaimed Pierre, pulling them all close.

“Pray, hold off, sir,” said the elder brother, who had served as a passed midshipman for the last two weeks. The younger brother retreated a little, and clapped his hand upon his dirk, saying, “Sir, we are from the Mediterranean. Sir, permit me to say, this is decidedly improper! Who may you be, sir?”

“Please stop, sir,” said the older brother, who had been a midshipman for the past two weeks. The younger brother stepped back a bit, placed his hand on his dagger, and said, “Sir, we’re from the Mediterranean. Sir, I must say, this is definitely unacceptable! Who are you, sir?”

“I can’t explain for joy,” cried Pierre, hilariously embracing them all again.

“I can’t explain how happy I am,” cried Pierre, joyfully hugging them all again.

“Most extraordinary!” cried the elder brother, extricating his shirt-collar from the embrace, and pulling it up vehemently.

“Most amazing!” shouted the older brother, freeing his shirt collar from the grip and pulling it up forcefully.

“Draw!” cried the younger, intrepidly.

"Draw!" shouted the younger one.

“Peace, foolish fellows,” cried Lucy—“this is your old play-fellow, Pierre Glendinning.”

“Calm down, you goofy guys,” Lucy exclaimed—“this is your childhood friend, Pierre Glendinning.”

“Pierre? why, Pierre?” cried the lads—“a hug all round again! You’ve grown a fathom!—who would have known you? But, then—Lucy? I say, Lucy?—what business have you here in this—eh? eh?—hugging-match, I should call it?”

“Pierre? Why, Pierre?” shouted the guys—“a group hug again! You’ve grown so tall!—who would have recognized you? But, wait—Lucy? I mean, Lucy?—what are you doing here in this—uh? huh?—hugging match, I guess?”

“Oh! Lucy don’t mean any thing,” cried Pierre—“come, one more all round.”

“Oh! Lucy doesn’t mean anything,” cried Pierre—“come on, one more round.”

So they all embraced again; and that evening it was publicly known that Pierre was to wed with Lucy.

So they all hugged again; and that evening it was publicly announced that Pierre was going to marry Lucy.

Whereupon, the young officers took it upon themselves to think—though they by no means presumed to breathe it—that they had authoritatively, though indirectly, accelerated a before ambiguous and highly incommendable state of affairs between the now affianced lovers.

The young officers decided to consider—though they certainly didn’t assume to say it out loud—that they had officially, though indirectly, sped up a previously unclear and very questionable situation between the now engaged couple.


III.

IN the fine old robust times of Pierre’s grandfather, an American gentleman of substantial person and fortune spent his time in a somewhat different style from the green-house gentlemen of the present day. The grandfather of Pierre measured six feet four inches in height; during a fire in the old manorial mansion, with one dash of his foot, he had smitten down an oaken door, to admit the buckets of his negro slaves; Pierre had often tried on his military vest, which still remained an heirloom at Saddle Meadows, and found the pockets below his knees, and plenty additional room for a fair-sized quarter-cask within its buttoned girth; in a night-scuffle in the wilderness before the Revolutionary War, he had annihilated two Indian savages by making reciprocal bludgeons of their heads. And all this was done by the mildest hearted, and most blue-eyed gentleman in the world, who, according to the patriarchal fashion of those days, was a gentle, white-haired worshiper of all the household gods; the gentlest husband, and the gentlest father; the kindest of masters to his slaves; of the most wonderful unruffledness of temper; a serene smoker of his after-dinner pipe; a forgiver of many injuries; a sweet-hearted, charitable Christian; in fine, a pure, cheerful, child-like, blue-eyed, divine old man; in whose meek, majestic soul, the lion and the lamb embraced—fit image of his God.

In the fine, old robust times of Pierre’s grandfather, an American gentleman of considerable stature and wealth lived his life quite differently from the greenhouse gentlemen of today. Pierre’s grandfather stood six feet four inches tall; during a fire at the old family mansion, he had smashed down an oak door with a single kick to let in the buckets carried by his enslaved people. Pierre often tried on his military vest, which was still an heirloom at Saddle Meadows, and found that the pockets hung below his knees, with plenty of extra room for a good-sized barrel inside its buttoned fit. In a night fight in the wilderness before the Revolutionary War, he had taken down two Native Americans by using their own heads as bludgeons. And all of this was accomplished by the mildest, most blue-eyed gentleman in the world, who, following the patriarchal customs of those times, was a gentle, white-haired worshiper of all the household gods; the kindest husband and father; the most generous master to his enslaved people; exceptionally calm and composed; a serene smoker of his after-dinner pipe; a forgiver of many wrongs; a sweet-hearted, charitable Christian; in short, a pure, cheerful, childlike, blue-eyed, divine old man; in whose gentle, majestic soul, the lion and the lamb coexisted— a perfect image of his God.

Never could Pierre look upon his fine military portrait without an infinite and mournful longing to meet his living aspect in actual life. The majestic sweetness of this portrait was truly wonderful in its effects upon any sensitive and generous-minded young observer. For such, that portrait possessed the heavenly persuasiveness of angelic speech; a glorious gospel framed and hung upon the wall, and declaring to all people, as from the Mount, that man is a noble, god-like being, full of choicest juices; made up of strength and beauty.

Pierre could never look at his impressive military portrait without feeling a deep and sad longing to see the real him in life. The portrait's majestic sweetness had a remarkable impact on any thoughtful and kind-hearted young person. For them, that painting had the divine charm of angelic words; it was like a glorious message displayed on the wall, proclaiming to everyone, as if from a mountaintop, that man is a noble, god-like being, full of the best qualities, made up of strength and beauty.

Now, this grand old Pierre Glendinning was a great lover of horses; but not in the modern sense, for he was no jockey;—one of his most intimate friends of the masculine gender was a huge, proud, gray horse, of a surprising reserve of manner, his saddle-beast; he had his horses’ mangers carved like old trenchers, out of solid maple logs; the key of the corn-bin hung in his library; and no one grained his steeds, but himself; unless his absence from home promoted Moyar, an incorruptible and most punctual old black, to that honorable office. He said that no man loved his horses, unless his own hands grained them. Every Christmas he gave them brimming measures. “I keep Christmas with my horses,” said grand old Pierre. This grand old Pierre always rose at sunrise; washed his face and chest in the open air; and then, returning to his closet, and being completely arrayed at last, stepped forth to make a ceremonious call at his stables, to bid his very honorable friends there a very good and joyful morning. Woe to Cranz, Kit, Douw, or any other of his stable slaves, if grand old Pierre found one horse unblanketed, or one weed among the hay that filled their rack. Not that he ever had Cranz, Kit, Douw, or any of them flogged—a thing unknown in that patriarchal time and country—but he would refuse to say his wonted pleasant word to them; and that was very bitter to them, for Cranz, Kit, Douw, and all of them, loved grand old Pierre, as his shepherds loved old Abraham.

Now, the grand old Pierre Glendinning was a big fan of horses; but not in the modern way, as he wasn’t a jockey. One of his closest male friends was a massive, proud gray horse with a surprisingly reserved demeanor, which he rode. He had his horses’ mangers carved like old wooden plates, made from solid maple logs; the key to the corn-bin hung in his library; and no one fed his horses but him, unless he was away, which allowed Moyar, a trustworthy and always-on-time old black man, to take on that important job. He believed that no man truly loved his horses unless he fed them himself. Every Christmas, he gave them heaping portions. “I keep Christmas with my horses,” said grand old Pierre. This grand old Pierre always got up at sunrise, washed his face and chest in the open air, and then, after getting properly dressed, would step out to make a formal visit to his stables to wish his esteemed friends there a very good and joyful morning. Woe to Cranz, Kit, Douw, or any of his stable workers if grand old Pierre found even one horse without a blanket, or a single weed among the hay in their rack. Not that he ever had Cranz, Kit, Douw, or any of them punished—a rare thing in that old-fashioned time and place—but he would simply refuse to say his usual friendly word to them; and that was very hard for them, because Cranz, Kit, Douw, and all the rest loved grand old Pierre just like his shepherds loved old Abraham.

What decorous, lordly, gray-haired steed is this? What old Chaldean rides abroad?—’Tis grand old Pierre; who, every morning before he eats, goes out promenading with his saddle-beast; nor mounts him, without first asking leave. But time glides on, and grand old Pierre grows old: his life’s glorious grape now swells with fatness; he has not the conscience to saddle his majestic beast with such a mighty load of manliness. Besides, the noble beast himself is growing old, and has a touching look of meditativeness in his large, attentive eyes. Leg of man, swears grand old Pierre, shall never more bestride my steed; no more shall harness touch him! Then every spring he sowed a field with clover for his steed; and at mid-summer sorted all his meadow grasses, for the choicest hay to winter him; and had his destined grain thrashed out with a flail, whose handle had once borne a flag in a brisk battle, into which this same old steed had pranced with grand old Pierre; one waving mane, one waving sword!

What a dignified, noble, gray-haired horse is this! What ancient Chaldean is riding around? It’s grand old Pierre, who, every morning before he eats, takes his horse out for a stroll; he doesn’t ride without first asking permission. But time moves on, and grand old Pierre is getting older: the glorious years of his life are now filled with extra weight; he doesn’t have the heart to burden his majestic horse with such a hefty load of manhood. Besides, the noble horse is aging too, with a thoughtful look in his large, attentive eyes. “No leg of man,” insists grand old Pierre, “shall ever ride my horse again; no harness shall touch him!” So every spring, he sows a field with clover for his horse; and by mid-summer, he carefully selects the best meadow grasses for the finest hay to keep him through the winter; he has his chosen grain threshed out with a flail that once waved a flag in a lively battle, where this same old horse pranced alongside grand old Pierre, one with a waving mane, the other with a waving sword!

Now needs must grand old Pierre take a morning drive; he rides no more with the old gray steed. He has a phaeton built, fit for a vast General, in whose sash three common men might hide. Doubled, trebled are the huge S shaped leather springs; the wheels seem stolen from some mill; the canopied seat is like a testered bed. From beneath the old archway, not one horse, but two, every morning now draw forth old Pierre, as the Chinese draw their fat god Josh, once every year from out his fane.

Now old Pierre needs to take a morning drive; he no longer rides the old gray horse. He has a carriage built that’s fit for a great General, one where three average men could easily hide. The large S-shaped leather springs are doubled and tripled; the wheels look like they were taken from a mill; the canopy-covered seat is like a four-poster bed. Each morning, from beneath the old archway, not one horse but two now pull out old Pierre, just like the Chinese bring out their fat god Josh once a year from his shrine.

But time glides on, and a morning comes, when the phaeton emerges not; but all the yards and courts are full; helmets line the ways; sword-points strike the stone steps of the porch; muskets ring upon the stairs; and mournful martial melodies are heard in all the halls. Grand old Pierre is dead; and like a hero of old battles, he dies on the eve of another war; ere wheeling to fire on the foe, his platoons fire over their old commander’s grave; in A. D. 1812, died grand old Pierre. The drum that beat in brass his funeral march, was a British kettle-drum, that had once helped beat the vain-glorious march, for the thirty thousand predestined prisoners, led into sure captivity by that bragging boy, Burgoyne.

But time moves on, and one morning, the carriage doesn’t show up; instead, the yards and courtyards are filled; helmets line the paths; sword points strike the stone steps of the porch; muskets ring out on the stairs; and sorrowful military tunes echo in all the halls. Grand old Pierre is dead; and like a hero from ancient battles, he passes away on the brink of another war; before turning to fire on the enemy, his troops fire over their old commander’s grave; in A.D. 1812, grand old Pierre died. The drum that played his funeral march in brass was a British kettle-drum, which had once helped sound the boastful march for the thirty thousand destined prisoners, led into inevitable captivity by that bragging boy, Burgoyne.

Next day the old gray steed turned from his grain; turned round, and vainly whinnied in his stall. By gracious Moyar’s hand, he refuses to be patted now; plain as horse can speak, the old gray steed says—“I smell not the wonted hand; where is grand old Pierre? Grain me not, and groom me not;—Where is grand old Pierre?”

The next day, the old gray horse turned away from his grain, looked around, and whinnied in his stall. Thanks to Moyar's hand, he won’t let anyone pet him now; it’s clear as day, the old gray horse says—“I don’t smell the usual hand; where is my old friend Pierre? Don’t give me grain, and don’t groom me;—where is my old friend Pierre?”

He sleeps not far from his master now; beneath the field he cropt, he has softly lain him down; and long ere this, grand old Pierre and steed have passed through that grass to glory.

He sleeps not far from his master now; beneath the field he cropped, he has softly lain down; and long before this, the great old Pierre and his horse have passed through that grass to glory.

But his phaeton—like his plumed hearse, outlives the noble load it bore. And the dark bay steeds that drew grand old Pierre alive, and by his testament drew him dead, and followed the lordly lead of the led gray horse; those dark bay steeds are still extant; not in themselves or in their issue; but in the two descendants of stallions of their own breed. For on the lands of Saddle Meadows, man and horse are both hereditary; and this bright morning Pierre Glendinning, grandson of grand old Pierre, now drives forth with Lucy Tartan, seated where his own ancestor had sat, and reining steeds, whose great-great-great-grandfathers grand old Pierre had reined before.

But his carriage—like his fancy hearse, outlives the noble passengers it carried. And the dark bay horses that pulled the impressive old Pierre while he was alive, and by his will carried him after he died, and followed the dignified lead of the gray horse; those dark bay horses still exist; not in themselves or in their offspring; but in the two descendants of stallions of their own breed. For on the lands of Saddle Meadows, both man and horse are hereditary; and this bright morning Pierre Glendinning, grandson of the impressive old Pierre, now drives out with Lucy Tartan, sitting where his own ancestor had sat, and controlling horses whose great-great-great-grandfathers the impressive old Pierre had driven before.

How proud felt Pierre: In fancy’s eye, he saw the horse-ghosts a-tandem in the van; “These are but wheelers”—cried young Pierre—“the leaders are the generations.”

How proud Pierre felt: In his imagination, he saw the ghostly horses lined up in front; “These are just the wheelers,” shouted young Pierre, “the leaders are the generations.”


IV.

BUT Love has more to do with his own possible and probable posterities, than with the once living but now impossible ancestries in the past. So Pierre’s glow of family pride quickly gave place to a deeper hue, when Lucy bade love’s banner blush out from his cheek.

BUT Love is more connected to his own possible future descendants than to the once-living but now unattainable ancestors of the past. So, Pierre’s sense of family pride quickly shifted to a deeper emotion when Lucy made the color of love rise to his cheeks.

That morning was the choicest drop that Time had in his vase. Ineffable distillations of a soft delight were wafted from the fields and hills. Fatal morning that, to all lovers unbetrothed; “Come to your confessional,” it cried. “Behold our airy loves,” the birds chirped from the trees; far out at sea, no more the sailors tied their bowline-knots; their hands had lost their cunning; will they, nill they, Love tied love-knots on every spangled spar.

That morning was the best moment that Time had to offer. Unexplainable feelings of soft joy floated in from the fields and hills. A dangerous morning for all lovers who weren’t engaged; "Come confess your feelings," it called out. "Look at our lighthearted loves," the birds sang from the trees; far out at sea, the sailors no longer tied their bowline knots; their hands had lost their skill; whether they wanted to or not, Love tied love knots on every shining spar.

Oh, praised be the beauty of this earth, the beauty, and the bloom, and the mirthfulness thereof! The first worlds made were winter worlds; the second made, were vernal worlds; the third, and last, and perfectest, was this summer world of ours. In the cold and nether spheres, preachers preach of earth, as we of Paradise above. Oh, there, my friends, they say, they have a season, in their language known as summer. Then their fields spin themselves green carpets; snow and ice are not in all the land; then a million strange, bright, fragrant things powder that sward with perfumes; and high, majestic beings, dumb and grand, stand up with outstretched arms, and hold their green canopies over merry angels—men and women—who love and wed, and sleep and dream, beneath the approving glances of their visible god and goddess, glad-hearted sun, and pensive moon!

Oh, praise the beauty of this earth, the beauty, the bloom, and the joy of it all! The first worlds created were winter worlds; the second were spring worlds; the third, and the best, is this summer world of ours. In the cold and lower realms, preachers talk about earth just like we talk about Paradise above. Oh, there, my friends, they say, they have a season in their language called summer. Then their fields become lush green carpets; snow and ice are nowhere to be found; then millions of strange, bright, fragrant things cover that ground with scents; and high, majestic beings, silent and grand, stand with outstretched arms, holding their green canopies over joyful angels—men and women—who love and marry, and sleep and dream, under the approving gaze of their visible god and goddess, the cheerful sun and the thoughtful moon!

Oh, praised be the beauty of this earth; the beauty, and the bloom, and the mirthfulness thereof. We lived before, and shall live again; and as we hope for a fairer world than this to come; so we came from one less fine. From each successive world, the demon Principle is more and more dislodged; he is the accursed clog from chaos, and thither, by every new translation, we drive him further and further back again. Hosannahs to this world! so beautiful itself, and the vestibule to more. Out of some past Egypt, we have come to this new Canaan; and from this new Canaan, we press on to some Circassia. Though still the villains, Want and Woe, followed us out of Egypt, and now beg in Canaan’s streets: yet Circassia’s gates shall not admit them; they, with their sire, the demon Principle, must back to chaos, whence they came.

Oh, let's celebrate the beauty of this earth; the beauty, the blooming, and the joy it brings. We lived before, and we will live again; just as we hope for a better world to come, we emerged from one that wasn't as nice. With each new world, the demonic Principle is pushed further away; he’s the cursed burden from chaos, and with every new transformation, we push him back even more. Hooray for this world! It's so beautiful on its own and a gateway to more. We have journeyed out of some past Egypt to this new Canaan; and from this new Canaan, we continue on to a better place. Although the villains, Want and Woe, followed us out of Egypt and now beg in the streets of Canaan, they will not be allowed into the gates of Circassia; they, along with their father, the demonic Principle, must return to chaos, where they belong.

Love was first begot by Mirth and Peace, in Eden, when the world was young. The man oppressed with cares, he can not love; the man of gloom finds not the god. So, as youth, for the most part, has no cares, and knows no gloom, therefore, ever since time did begin, youth belongs to love. Love may end in grief and age, and pain and need, and all other modes of human mournfulness; but love begins in joy. Love’s first sigh is never breathed, till after love hath laughed. Love laughs first, and then sighs after. Love has not hands, but cymbals; Love’s mouth is chambered like a bugle, and the instinctive breathings of his life breathe jubilee notes of joy!

Love was first created by Joy and Peace, in Eden, when the world was young. A man burdened with worries cannot love; a man filled with sadness cannot find the divine. So, since youth is usually carefree and knows no sadness, youth has always belonged to love. Love may end in sorrow, aging, pain, and all other forms of human sadness; but love starts in happiness. Love’s first sigh is never heard until after love has laughed. Love laughs first, and then sighs later. Love doesn’t have hands but cymbals; Love’s mouth is shaped like a bugle, and the instinctive breaths of its life echo joyful notes of celebration!

That morning, two bay horses drew two Laughs along the road that led to the hills from Saddle Meadows. Apt time they kept; Pierre Glendinning’s young, manly tenor, to Lucy Tartan’s girlish treble.

That morning, two bay horses pulled two Laughs along the road that led to the hills from Saddle Meadows. They kept a good pace; Pierre Glendinning’s young, manly tenor complemented Lucy Tartan’s girlish treble.

Wondrous fair of face, blue-eyed, and golden-haired, the bright blonde, Lucy, was arrayed in colors harmonious with the heavens. Light blue be thy perpetual color, Lucy; light blue becomes thee best—such the repeated azure counsel of Lucy Tartan’s mother. On both sides, from the hedges, came to Pierre the clover bloom of Saddle Meadows, and from Lucy’s mouth and cheek came the fresh fragrance of her violet young being.

Wondrously beautiful, with blue eyes and golden hair, the bright blonde Lucy was dressed in colors that matched the sky. Light blue should always be your color, Lucy; it suits you best—such was the constant advice from Lucy Tartan’s mother. On both sides, from the hedges, the clover blooms of Saddle Meadows greeted Pierre, and from Lucy’s mouth and cheeks came the fresh scent of her youthful spirit.

“Smell I the flowers, or thee?” cried Pierre.

“Do I smell the flowers or you?” cried Pierre.

“See I lakes, or eyes?” cried Lucy, her own gazing down into his soul, as two stars gaze down into a tarn.

“Do I see lakes or eyes?” Lucy exclaimed, her own looking deep into his soul, like two stars looking down into a pond.

No Cornwall miner ever sunk so deep a shaft beneath the sea, as Love will sink beneath the floatings of the eyes. Love sees ten million fathoms down, till dazzled by the floor of pearls. The eye is Love’s own magic glass, where all things that are not of earth, glide in supernatural light. There are not so many fishes in the sea, as there are sweet images in lovers’ eyes. In those miraculous translucencies swim the strange eye-fish with wings, that sometimes leap out, instinct with joy; moist fish-wings wet the lover’s cheek. Love’s eyes are holy things; therein the mysteries of life are lodged; looking in each other’s eyes, lovers see the ultimate secret of the worlds; and with thrills eternally untranslatable, feel that Love is god of all. Man or woman who has never loved, nor once looked deep down into their own lover’s eyes, they know not the sweetest and the loftiest religion of this earth. Love is both Creator’s and Saviour’s gospel to mankind; a volume bound in rose-leaves, clasped with violets, and by the beaks of humming-birds printed with peach-juice on the leaves of lilies.

No Cornwall miner ever dug as deep a shaft beneath the sea as Love will dive beneath the gaze of the eyes. Love sees millions of fathoms down until it’s dazzled by the pearl-laden floor. The eye is Love’s own magic glass, where everything that isn’t earthly floats in a supernatural light. There aren’t as many fish in the sea as there are sweet images in lovers’ eyes. In those miraculous transparencies swim strange winged eye-fish that sometimes leap out, bursting with joy; their wet wings leave a trail on the lover’s cheek. Love’s eyes are sacred; in them, the mysteries of life reside; by looking into each other’s eyes, lovers perceive the ultimate secret of the universe and, with feelings that can never be fully expressed, understand that Love is the god of all. A man or woman who has never loved or looked deeply into their lover’s eyes knows nothing of the sweetest and highest religion on this earth. Love is both the Creator’s and the Savior’s message to humanity; a book bound in rose petals, clasped with violets, and printed with peach juice by the beaks of hummingbirds on the leaves of lilies.

Endless is the account of Love. Time and space can not contain Love’s story. All things that are sweet to see, or taste, or feel, or hear, all these things were made by Love; and none other things were made by Love. Love made not the Arctic zones, but Love is ever reclaiming them. Say, are not the fierce things of this earth daily, hourly going out? Where now are your wolves of Britain? Where in Virginia now, find you the panther and the pard? Oh, love is busy everywhere. Everywhere Love hath Moravian missionaries. No Propagandist like to love. The south wind wooes the barbarous north; on many a distant shore the gentler west wind persuades the arid east.

Love's story is endless. Time and space cannot contain it. All things that are sweet to see, taste, feel, or hear—everything was created by Love; nothing else was. Love didn't create the Arctic regions, but it is always working to reclaim them. Tell me, aren't the fierce creatures of this world disappearing every day, every hour? Where are your wolves in Britain now? Where can you find the panther and leopard in Virginia? Oh, Love is active everywhere. Love has missionaries all over, like the Moravians. There's no advocate for love like it. The south wind courts the wild north; on many faraway shores, the gentle west wind influences the dry east.

All this Earth is Love’s affianced; vainly the demon Principle howls to stay the banns. Why round her middle wears this world so rich a zone of torrid verdure, if she be not dressing for the final rites? And why provides she orange blossoms and lilies of the valley, if she would not that all men and maids should love and marry? For every wedding where true lovers wed, helps on the march of universal Love. Who are brides here shall be Love’s bridemaids in the marriage world to come. So on all sides Love allures; can contain himself what youth who views the wonders of the beauteous woman-world? Where a beautiful woman is, there is all Asia and her Bazars. Italy hath not a sight before the beauty of a Yankee girl; nor heaven a blessing beyond her earthly love. Did not the angelical Lotharios come down to earth, that they might taste of mortal woman’s Love and Beauty? even while her own silly brothers were pining after the self-same Paradise they left? Yes, those envying angels did come down; did emigrate; and who emigrates except to be better off?

All this Earth is committed to Love; the demon Principle howls in vain to cancel the wedding. Why does this world have such a lush tropical zone around it, if not to prepare for the final ceremony? And why does she provide orange blossoms and lilies of the valley if she doesn't want everyone to love and marry? Every wedding where true lovers unite advances the cause of universal Love. Those who are brides here will be Love's bridesmaids in the marriage world to come. Love is enticing from every direction; how can any young person resist the wonders of beautiful women? Where a beautiful woman is, there lies all of Asia and its markets. Italy has nothing that can compare to the beauty of an American girl; nor does heaven have a blessing greater than her earthly love. Did not the angelic Lotharios come down to Earth just to experience mortal women's Love and Beauty? Even while their own foolish brothers were longing for the same Paradise they left behind? Yes, those envious angels did come down; they did emigrate; and who emigrates except to seek a better life?

Love is this world’s great redeemer and reformer; and as all beautiful women are her selectest emissaries, so hath Love gifted them with a magnetical persuasiveness, that no youth can possibly repel. The own heart’s choice of every youth, seems ever as an inscrutable witch to him; and by ten thousand concentric spells and circling incantations, glides round and round him, as he turns: murmuring meanings of unearthly import; and summoning up to him all the subterranean sprites and gnomes; and unpeopling all the sea for naiads to swim round him; so that mysteries are evoked as in exhalations by this Love;—what wonder then that Love was aye a mystic?

Love is the ultimate redeemer and reformer in this world; just as all beautiful women are its most special messengers, Love has given them a magnetic charm that no young man can resist. Each young man's true choice of heart feels like an enigmatic spell to him; and with countless spells and surrounding enchantments, it swirls around him as he turns, whispering secrets of otherworldly significance and calling forth all the hidden spirits and gnomes, clearing the seas of naiads to swim around him. This creates mysteries that seem to arise like vapors because of Love; no wonder Love has always been seen as mysterious.


V.

AND this self-same morning Pierre was very mystical; not continually, though; but most mystical one moment, and overflowing with mad, unbridled merriment, the next. He seemed a youthful Magian, and almost a mountebank together. Chaldaic improvisations burst from him, in quick Golden Verses, on the heel of humorous retort and repartee. More especially, the bright glance of Lucy was transporting to him. Now, reckless of his horses, with both arms holding Lucy in his embrace, like a Sicilian diver he dives deep down in the Adriatic of her eyes, and brings up some king’s-cup of joy. All the waves in Lucy’s eyes seemed waves of infinite glee to him. And as if, like veritable seas, they did indeed catch the reflected irradiations of that pellucid azure morning; in Lucy’s eyes, there seemed to shine all the blue glory of the general day, and all the sweet inscrutableness of the sky. And certainly, the blue eye of woman, like the sea, is not uninfluenced by the atmosphere. Only in the open air of some divinest, summer day, will you see its ultramarine,—its fluid lapis lazuli. Then would Pierre burst forth in some screaming shout of joy; and the striped tigers of his chestnut eyes leaped in their lashed cages with a fierce delight. Lucy shrank from him in extreme love; for the extremest top of love, is Fear and Wonder.

AND this very morning, Pierre felt deeply mystical; not all the time, but one moment he was profoundly mystical and the next overflowing with wild, uncontrollable laughter. He seemed like a young magician and almost a showman at the same time. Chaldaic improvisations poured out of him in rapid Golden Verses, following a stream of witty comebacks and banter. Above all, Lucy's bright gaze enchanted him. Now, reckless with his horses, he held Lucy in his arms, diving deep into the Adriatic of her eyes like a Sicilian diver, emerging with a treasure of joy. To him, all the waves in Lucy’s eyes seemed like waves of endless happiness. It was as though they reflected the brilliance of that clear blue morning; in Lucy’s eyes, all the day's blue glory and the sky's sweet mystery seemed to shine. And certainly, a woman’s blue eyes, like the sea, are influenced by the atmosphere. Only on the clearest, most beautiful summer day will you see its deep blue — its fluid lapis lazuli. Then Pierre would burst into joyful shouts, and the striped tigers of his chestnut eyes would leap in their caged excitement. Lucy pulled away from him in intense love, for the highest peak of love is Fear and Wonder.

Soon the swift horses drew this fair god and goddess nigh the wooded hills, whose distant blue, now changed into a variously-shaded green, stood before them like old Babylonian walls, overgrown with verdure; while here and there, at regular intervals, the scattered peaks seemed mural towers; and the clumped pines surmounting them, as lofty archers, and vast, out-looking watchers of the glorious Babylonian City of the Day. Catching that hilly air, the prancing horses neighed; laughed on the ground with gleeful feet. Felt they the gay delightsome spurrings of the day; for the day was mad with excessive joy; and high in heaven you heard the neighing of the horses of the sun; and down dropt their nostrils’ froth in many a fleecy vapor from the hills.

Soon, the swift horses brought this beautiful god and goddess near the wooded hills, whose distant blue had now transformed into a variety of green shades, standing before them like ancient Babylonian walls overrun with greenery. Here and there, at regular intervals, the scattered peaks resembled mural towers, and the clustered pines on top looked like tall archers and vast, watchful sentinels of the glorious Babylonian City of the Day. As they caught that hilly breeze, the prancing horses neighed and danced joyfully on the ground. They felt the lively excitement of the day; for the day was bursting with happiness, and high in the sky, you could hear the neighing of the sun's horses, while their frothy breath fell in many fluffy clouds from the hills.

From the plains, the mists rose slowly; reluctant yet to quit so fair a mead. At those green slopings, Pierre reined in his steeds, and soon the twain were seated on the bank, gazing far, and far away; over many a grove and lake; corn-crested uplands, and Herd’s-grass lowlands; and long-stretching swales of vividest green, betokening where the greenest bounty of this earth seeks its winding channels; as ever, the most heavenly bounteousness most seeks the lowly places; making green and glad many a humble mortal’s breast, and leaving to his own lonely aridness, many a hill-top prince’s state.

From the plains, the mist rose slowly, hesitating to leave such a beautiful meadow. At those green slopes, Pierre stopped his horses, and soon the two of them were sitting on the bank, looking far and wide; over many groves and lakes; corn-covered hills and grassy lowlands; and long, winding stretches of the brightest green, indicating where the richest bounty of the earth finds its winding paths; as always, the most generous abundance seeks out the humble places; bringing joy and greenery to many simple people's hearts, while leaving the lonely emptiness of many hilltop nobles' states.

But Grief, not Joy, is a moralizer; and small moralizing wisdom caught Pierre from that scene. With Lucy’s hand in his, and feeling, softly feeling of its soft tinglingness; he seemed as one placed in linked correspondence with the summer lightnings; and by sweet shock on shock, receiving intimating fore-tastes of the etherealest delights of earth.

But Grief, not Joy, teaches us about morality; and Pierre picked up a bit of that moral lesson from the scene. With Lucy’s hand in his, and feeling its soft tingling, he felt connected to the summer lightning; and with each gentle shock, he was receiving hints of the most exquisite pleasures on Earth.

Now, prone on the grass he falls, with his attentive upward glance fixed on Lucy’s eyes. “Thou art my heaven, Lucy; and here I lie thy shepherd-king, watching for new eye-stars to rise in thee. Ha! I see Venus’ transit now;—lo! a new planet there;—and behind all, an infinite starry nebulousness, as if thy being were backgrounded by some spangled vail of mystery.”

Now, lying on the grass, he falls back, his gaze fixed on Lucy’s eyes. “You are my heaven, Lucy; and here I am, your shepherd-king, waiting for new stars to shine in you. Ha! I see Venus passing now;—look! a new planet there;—and behind it all, an endless starry haze, as if your existence is set against some sparkling veil of mystery.”

Is Lucy deaf to all these ravings of his lyric love? Why looks she down, and vibrates so; and why now from her over-charged lids, drops such warm drops as these? No joy now in Lucy’s eyes, and seeming tremor on her lips.

Is Lucy ignoring all his passionate declarations? Why is she looking down, trembling like that; and why are such warm tears falling from her heavy eyelids? There’s no joy in Lucy’s eyes now, and her lips seem to quiver.

“Ah! thou too ardent and impetuous Pierre!”

“Ah! you too passionate and reckless Pierre!”

“Nay, thou too moist and changeful April! know’st thou not, that the moist and changeful April is followed by the glad, assured, and showerless joy of June? And this, Lucy, this day should be thy June, even as it is the earth’s?”

“Nah, you too moist and unpredictable April! Don’t you know that the wet and fickle April is followed by the happy, secure, and dry joy of June? And this, Lucy, this day should be your June, just like it is for the earth?”

“Ah Pierre! not June to me. But say, are not the sweets of June made sweet by the April tears?”

“Ah Pierre! June doesn't feel like June to me. But tell me, aren't the joys of June made even sweeter by the tears of April?”

“Ay, love! but here fall more drops,—more and more;—these showers are longer than beseem the April, and pertain not to the June.”

“Yeah, love! But here come more drops—more and more; these showers last longer than they should for April, and they're not meant for June.”

“June! June!—thou bride’s month of the summer,—following the spring’s sweet courtship of the earth,—my June, my June is yet to come!”

“June! June!—the month of summer for brides,—following spring’s sweet romance with the earth,—my June, my June is still to come!”

“Oh! yet to come, but fixedly decreed;—good as come, and better.”

“Oh! it’s on the way, but definitely decided;—as good as here, and even better.”

“Then no flower that, in the bud, the April showers have nurtured; no such flower may untimely perish, ere the June unfolds it? Ye will not swear that, Pierre?”

“Then no flower that, in the bud, the April showers have nurtured; no such flower may untimely perish, before June unfolds it? You won’t swear to that, Pierre?”

“The audacious immortalities of divinest love are in me; and I now swear to thee all the immutable eternities of joyfulness, that ever woman dreamed of, in this dream-house of the earth. A god decrees to thee unchangeable felicity; and to me, the unchallenged possession of thee and them, for my inalienable fief.—Do I rave? Look on me, Lucy; think on me, girl.”

“The bold everlasting qualities of pure love are within me; and I now promise you all the endless joys that any woman has ever dreamed of, in this earthly paradise. A god grants you unchanging happiness; and for me, the unquestioned right to possess you and them, as my permanent domain.—Am I losing my mind? Look at me, Lucy; think about me, girl.”

“Thou art young, and beautiful, and strong; and a joyful manliness invests thee, Pierre; and thy intrepid heart never yet felt the touch of fear;—But—”

“You're young, beautiful, and strong; you exude a joyful masculinity, Pierre; and your fearless heart has never known the feeling of fear;—But—”

“But what?”

"But why?"

“Ah, my best Pierre!”

“Hey, my best Pierre!”

“With kisses I will suck thy secret from thy cheek!—but what?”

“With kisses I will draw your secret from your cheek!—but what?”

“Let us hie homeward, Pierre. Some nameless sadness, faintness, strangely comes to me. Foretaste I feel of endless dreariness. Tell me once more the story of that face, Pierre,—that mysterious, haunting face, which thou once told’st me, thou didst thrice vainly try to shun. Blue is the sky, oh, bland the air, Pierre;—but—tell me the story of the face,—the dark-eyed, lustrous, imploring, mournful face, that so mystically paled, and shrunk at thine. Ah, Pierre, sometimes I have thought,—never will I wed with my best Pierre, until the riddle of that face be known. Tell me, tell me, Pierre;—as a fixed basilisk, with eyes of steady, flaming mournfulness, that face this instant fastens me.”

“Let’s head home, Pierre. I’m feeling a strange, nameless sadness, like something heavy is coming over me. I can sense a taste of endless sadness. Please tell me again about that face, Pierre—the mysterious, haunting face you once told me you tried to avoid three times. The sky is blue, and the air is gentle, Pierre; but—tell me the story of that face—the dark-eyed, shining, pleading, sorrowful face that seemed to fade and shrink before yours. Ah, Pierre, sometimes I think—I will never marry my dearest Pierre until the mystery of that face is uncovered. Please, tell me, tell me, Pierre;—that face, with its steady, burning sadness, captures me right now.”

“Bewitched! bewitched!—Cursed be the hour I acted on the thought, that Love hath no reserves. Never should I have told thee the story of that face, Lucy. I have bared myself too much to thee. Oh, never should Love know all!”

“Bewitched! Bewitched!—Cursed be the moment I followed that thought, that Love has no limits. I should never have shared with you the story of that face, Lucy. I have revealed too much of myself to you. Oh, Love should never know everything!”

“Knows not all, then loves not all, Pierre. Never shalt thou so say again;—and Pierre, listen to me. Now,—now, in this inexplicable trepidation that I feel, I do conjure thee, that thou wilt ever continue to do as thou hast done; so that I may ever continue to know all that agitatest thee, the airiest and most transient thought, that ever shall sweep into thee from the wide atmosphere of all things that hem mortality. Did I doubt thee here;—could I ever think, that thy heart hath yet one private nook or corner from me;—fatal disenchanting day for me, my Pierre, would that be. I tell thee, Pierre—and ’tis Love’s own self that now speaks through me—only in unbounded confidence and interchangings of all subtlest secrets, can Love possibly endure. Love’s self is a secret, and so feeds on secrets, Pierre. Did I only know of thee, what the whole common world may know—what then were Pierre to me?—Thou must be wholly a disclosed secret to me; Love is vain and proud; and when I walk the streets, and meet thy friends, I must still be laughing and hugging to myself the thought,—They know him not;—I only know my Pierre;—none else beneath the circuit of yon sun. Then, swear to me, dear Pierre, that thou wilt never keep a secret from me—no, never, never;—swear!”

“Does not know everything, then does not love everything, Pierre. You shall never say that again;—and Pierre, listen to me. Now,—now, in this unexplainable agitation that I feel, I urge you to continue doing as you have done; so that I may always know everything that troubles you, even the lightest and most fleeting thought that may ever enter your mind from the vast atmosphere of everything that surrounds our existence. If I ever doubted you here;—if I could ever think that your heart has even one hidden place from me;—that would be a devastating day for me, my Pierre. I tell you, Pierre—and it is Love’s own self that now speaks through me—only with complete trust and exchange of the most delicate secrets can Love truly survive. Love itself is a secret, and thrives on secrets, Pierre. If I only knew about you what the whole world knows—what would Pierre mean to me?—You must be completely an open secret to me; Love is vain and proud; and when I walk the streets and meet your friends, I must still be smiling and cherishing the thought,—They do not know him;—I only know my Pierre;—no one else beneath this sun. Then, promise me, dear Pierre, that you will never keep a secret from me—no, never, never;—promise!”

“Something seizes me. Thy inexplicable tears, falling, falling on my heart, have now turned it to a stone. I feel icy cold and hard; I will not swear!”

“Something takes hold of me. Your mysterious tears, falling, falling on my heart, have now turned it to stone. I feel icy cold and hard; I won’t swear!”

“Pierre! Pierre!”

“Pierre! Pierre!”

“God help thee, and God help me, Lucy. I can not think, that in this most mild and dulcet air, the invisible agencies are plotting treasons against our loves. Oh! if ye be now nigh us, ye things I have no name for; then by a name that should be efficacious—by Christ’s holy name, I warn ye back from her and me. Touch her not, ye airy devils; hence to your appointed hell! why come ye prowling in these heavenly perlieus? Can not the chains of Love omnipotent bind ye, fiends?”

“God help you, and God help me, Lucy. I can't believe that in this gentle and sweet air, the unseen forces are planning betrayals against our love. Oh! if you are near us now, you entities I can't even name; then by a name that should have power—by Christ’s holy name, I warn you to stay away from her and me. Don't touch her, you airy demons; go back to your designated hell! Why are you lurking in these heavenly places? Can't the chains of all-powerful Love restrain you, fiends?”

“Is this Pierre? His eyes glare fearfully; now I see layer on layer deeper in him; he turns round and menaces the air and talks to it, as if defied by the air. Woe is me, that fairy love should raise this evil spell!—Pierre?”

“Is this Pierre? His eyes look terrified; now I see deeper layers within him; he turns around and threatens the air and talks to it, as if he's being challenged by it. Woe is me, that fairy love should cast this evil spell!—Pierre?”

“But now I was infinite distances from thee, oh my Lucy, wandering baffled in the choking night; but thy voice might find me, though I had wandered to the Boreal realm, Lucy. Here I sit down by thee; I catch a soothing from thee.”

“But now I was so far away from you, oh my Lucy, wandering confused in the suffocating night; yet your voice could reach me, even if I had traveled to the far North, Lucy. Here I sit beside you; I find comfort in you.”

“My own, own Pierre! Pierre, into ten trillion pieces I could now be torn for thee; in my bosom would yet hide thee, and there keep thee warm, though I sat down on Arctic ice-floes, frozen to a corpse. My own, best, blessed Pierre! Now, could I plant some poniard in me, that my silly ailings should have power to move thee thus, and pain thee thus. Forgive me, Pierre; thy changed face hath chased the other from me; the fright of thee exceeds all other frights. It does not so haunt me now. Press hard my hand; look hard on me, my love, that its last trace may pass away. Now I feel almost whole again; now, ’tis gone. Up, my Pierre; let us up, and fly these hills, whence, I fear, too wide a prospect meets us. Fly we to the plain. See, thy steeds neigh for thee—they call thee—see, the clouds fly down toward the plain—lo, these hills now seem all desolate to me, and the vale all verdure. Thank thee, Pierre.—See, now, I quit the hills, dry-cheeked; and leave all tears behind to be sucked in by these evergreens, meet emblems of the unchanging love, my own sadness nourishes in me. Hard fate, that Love’s best verdure should feed so on tears!”

"My own, dear Pierre! I could be torn into a trillion pieces for you; I would still hide you in my heart and keep you warm, even if I sat on Arctic ice floes, frozen like a corpse. My own, best, beloved Pierre! If only I could stab myself so my petty pains could move you and hurt you like this. Forgive me, Pierre; your changed face has driven the other away; the fear I feel from you is greater than any other fear. It does not haunt me now. Hold my hand tightly; look at me hard, my love, so that its last trace can fade away. Now I feel almost whole again; now, it’s gone. Come on, Pierre; let’s rise and escape these hills because I fear the view ahead is too overwhelming. Let’s fly to the plain. Look, your horses are neighing for you—they’re calling you—see, the clouds are rushing down toward the plain—these hills seem desolate to me now, and the valley is all lush and green. Thank you, Pierre.—Look, now I leave the hills, my cheeks dry; and I leave behind all my tears to be absorbed by these evergreens, fitting symbols of the unchanging love that my own sadness sustains. What a cruel fate that Love’s finest beauty should thrive so much on tears!"

Now they rolled swiftly down the slopes; nor tempted the upper hills; but sped fast for the plain. Now the cloud hath passed from Lucy’s eye; no more the lurid slanting light forks upward from her lover’s brow. In the plain they find peace, and love, and joy again.

Now they quickly rolled down the slopes, not tempted by the higher hills; but they rushed fast towards the plain. Now the cloud has cleared from Lucy’s eye; no longer does the harsh, slanted light shoot up from her lover’s forehead. In the plain, they find peace, love, and joy once more.

“It was the merest, idling, wanton vapor, Lucy!”

“It was just some idle, careless vapor, Lucy!”

“An empty echo, Pierre, of a sad sound, long past. Bless thee, my Pierre!”

“An empty echo, Pierre, of a sad sound, long ago. Bless you, my Pierre!”

“The great God wrap thee ever, Lucy. So, now, we are home.”

“The great God always be with you, Lucy. So, now, we’re home.”


VI.

AFTER seeing Lucy into her aunt’s most cheerful parlor, and seating her by the honeysuckle that half clambered into the window there; and near to which was her easel for crayon-sketching, upon part of whose frame Lucy had cunningly trained two slender vines, into whose earth-filled pots two of the three legs of the easel were inserted; and sitting down himself by her, and by his pleasant, lightsome chat, striving to chase the last trace of sadness from her; and not till his object seemed fully gained; Pierre rose to call her good aunt to her, and so take his leave till evening, when Lucy called him back, begging him first to bring her the blue portfolio from her chamber, for she wished to kill her last lingering melancholy—if any indeed did linger now—by diverting her thoughts, in a little pencil sketch, to scenes widely different from those of Saddle Meadows and its hills.

AFTER showing Lucy into her aunt’s cheerful parlor and sitting her by the honeysuckle that half-climbed into the window, where her easel for crayon sketching was set up—having cleverly trained two slender vines around part of its frame, with two of the easel’s three legs planted in the earth-filled pots—he sat down next to her. With his lighthearted conversation, he tried to chase away the last bit of sadness lingering in her. Not until he felt he had succeeded did Pierre get up to call her good aunt to her, preparing to take his leave until the evening. But Lucy called him back, asking him to first bring her the blue portfolio from her room, as she wanted to shake off any remaining melancholy—if there was any left—by distracting herself with a little pencil sketch of scenes far removed from those of Saddle Meadows and its hills.

So Pierre went up stairs, but paused on the threshold of the open door. He never had entered that chamber but with feelings of a wonderful reverentialness. The carpet seemed as holy ground. Every chair seemed sanctified by some departed saint, there once seated long ago. Here his book of Love was all a rubric, and said—Bow now, Pierre, bow. But this extreme loyalty to the piety of love, called from him by such glimpses of its most secret inner shrine, was not unrelieved betimes by such quickenings of all his pulses, that in fantasy he pressed the wide beauty of the world in his embracing arms; for all his world resolved itself into his heart’s best love for Lucy.

So Pierre went upstairs but stopped at the open door. He had never entered that room without feeling a deep sense of reverence. The carpet felt like sacred ground. Each chair seemed blessed by some saint who had sat there long ago. In this space, his book of Love was all highlighted and whispered—Bow now, Pierre, bow. But this intense loyalty to the sacredness of love, stirred by glimpses of its most secret inner shrine, was sometimes interrupted by a rush of emotions that made him imagine embracing the vast beauty of the world; for all his world came down to his heart's greatest love for Lucy.

Now, crossing the magic silence of the empty chamber, he caught the snow-white bed reflected in the toilet-glass. This rooted him. For one swift instant, he seemed to see in that one glance the two separate beds—the real one and the reflected one—and an unbidden, most miserable presentiment thereupon stole into him. But in one breath it came and went. So he advanced, and with a fond and gentle joyfulness, his eye now fell upon the spotless bed itself, and fastened on a snow-white roll that lay beside the pillow. Now he started; Lucy seemed coming in upon him; but no—’tis only the foot of one of her little slippers, just peeping into view from under the narrow nether curtains of the bed. Then again his glance fixed itself upon the slender, snow-white, ruffled roll; and he stood as one enchanted. Never precious parchment of the Greek was half so precious in his eyes. Never trembling scholar longed more to unroll the mystic vellum, than Pierre longed to unroll the sacred secrets of that snow-white, ruffled thing. But his hands touched not any object in that chamber, except the one he had gone thither for.

Now, as he crossed the quiet emptiness of the room, he noticed the snow-white bed reflected in the mirror. This moment made him pause. For a brief second, he felt like he could see two distinct beds—the actual one and the reflected one—and a sudden wave of despair washed over him. But just as quickly as it came, it disappeared. So he moved forward, and with a tender sense of happiness, he focused on the pristine bed itself, fixating on a snow-white roll next to the pillow. Suddenly, he was startled; Lucy seemed to be entering the room, but no—it was just the tip of one of her little slippers peeking out from under the narrow curtains of the bed. He gazed again at the delicate, snow-white, ruffled roll, standing transfixed. No precious document of the Greek was ever so valuable in his eyes. No eager scholar longed more to unveil the mysterious parchment than Pierre longed to uncover the sacred secrets of that snow-white, ruffled object. But his hands touched nothing in that room except for the one thing he had come for.

“Here is the blue portfolio, Lucy. See, the key hangs to its silver lock;—were you not fearful I would open it?—’twas tempting, I must confess.”

“Here is the blue portfolio, Lucy. See, the key hangs from its silver lock; weren’t you afraid I would open it? I have to admit, it was tempting.”

“Open it!” said Lucy—“why, yes, Pierre, yes; what secret thing keep I from thee? Read me through and through. I am entirely thine. See!” and tossing open the portfolio, all manner of rosy things came floating from it, and a most delicate perfume of some invisible essence.

“Open it!” said Lucy. “Of course, Pierre, yes; what secret am I keeping from you? Read me completely. I am totally yours. Look!” And as she tossed open the portfolio, all kinds of rosy things floated out, accompanied by a delightful fragrance of some unseen essence.

“Ah! thou holy angel, Lucy!”

"Ah! you holy angel, Lucy!"

“Why, Pierre, thou art transfigured; thou now lookest as one who—why, Pierre?”

“Why, Pierre, you’ve changed; you look like someone—why, Pierre?”

“As one who had just peeped in at paradise, Lucy; and——”

“As someone who just caught a glimpse of paradise, Lucy; and——”

“Again wandering in thy mind, Pierre; no more—Come, you must leave me, now. I am quite rested again. Quick, call my aunt, and leave me. Stay, this evening we are to look over the book of plates from the city, you know. Be early;—go now, Pierre.”

“Again lost in thought, Pierre; that’s enough—Come on, you need to leave me now. I’m feeling rested again. Quickly, call my aunt and go. Wait, tonight we’re supposed to go through the book of plates from the city, remember? Be on time;—go now, Pierre.”

“Well, good-bye, till evening, thou height of all delight.”

“Well, goodbye, until this evening, you pinnacle of all joy.”


VII.

AS Pierre drove through the silent village, beneath the vertical shadows of the noon-day trees, the sweet chamber scene abandoned him, and the mystical face recurred to him, and kept with him. At last, arrived at home, he found his mother absent; so passing straight through the wide middle hall of the mansion, he descended the piazza on the other ride, and wandered away in reveries down to the river bank.

AS Pierre drove through the quiet village, under the tall shadows of the trees at noon. The pleasant scene he had in his mind faded away, and the mystical face returned to him and stayed with him. Finally, when he got home, he found his mother wasn’t there; so he walked straight through the large center hall of the mansion, went down the porch on the other side, and drifted off in thought down to the riverbank.

Here one primeval pine-tree had been luckily left standing by the otherwise unsparing woodmen, who long ago had cleared that meadow. It was once crossing to this noble pine, from a clump of hemlocks far across the river, that Pierre had first noticed the significant fact, that while the hemlock and the pine are trees of equal growth and stature, and are so similar in their general aspect, that people unused to woods sometimes confound them; and while both trees are proverbially trees of sadness, yet the dark hemlock hath no music in its thoughtful boughs; but the gentle pine-tree drops melodious mournfulness.

Here, one ancient pine tree had fortunately been left standing by the otherwise relentless loggers who had cleared that meadow long ago. It was while crossing to this magnificent pine from a group of hemlocks across the river that Pierre first noticed the interesting fact that, although the hemlock and the pine are trees of similar growth and height, and look so alike that people unfamiliar with the woods sometimes mix them up; and although both trees are known for their melancholy, the dark hemlock has no music in its reflective branches, while the gentle pine tree produces a soothing, mournful melody.

At its half-bared roots of sadness, Pierre sat down, and marked the mighty bulk and far out-reaching length of one particular root, which, straying down the bank, the storms and rains had years ago exposed.

At its partially exposed roots of sadness, Pierre sat down and noted the impressive size and long reach of one specific root, which had wandered down the bank and had been revealed by storms and rains over the years.

“How wide, how strong these roots must spread! Sure, this pine-tree takes powerful hold of this fair earth! Yon bright flower hath not so deep a root. This tree hath outlived a century of that gay flower’s generations, and will outlive a century of them yet to come. This is most sad. Hark, now I hear the pyramidical and numberless, flame-like complainings of this Eolean pine;—the wind breathes now upon it:—the wind,—that is God’s breath! Is He so sad? Oh, tree! so mighty thou, so lofty, yet so mournful! This is most strange! Hark! as I look up into thy high secrecies, oh, tree, the face, the face, peeps down on me!—‘Art thou Pierre? Come to me’—oh, thou mysterious girl,—what an ill-matched pendant thou, to that other countenance of sweet Lucy, which also hangs, and first did hang within my heart! Is grief a pendant then to pleasantness? Is grief a self-willed guest that will come in? Yet I have never known thee, Grief;—thou art a legend to me. I have known some fiery broils of glorious frenzy; I have oft tasted of revery; whence comes pensiveness; whence comes sadness; whence all delicious poetic presentiments;—but thou, Grief! art still a ghost-story to me. I know thee not,—do half disbelieve in thee. Not that I would be without my too little cherished fits of sadness now and then; but God keep me from thee, thou other shape of far profounder gloom! I shudder at thee! The face!—the face!—forth again from thy high secrecies, oh, tree! the face steals down upon me. Mysterious girl! who art thou? by what right snatchest thou thus my deepest thoughts? Take thy thin fingers from me;—I am affianced, and not to thee. Leave me!—what share hast thou in me? Surely, thou lovest not me?—that were most miserable for thee, and me, and Lucy. It can not be. What, who art thou? Oh! wretched vagueness—too familiar to me, yet inexplicable,—unknown, utterly unknown! I seem to founder in this perplexity. Thou seemest to know somewhat of me, that I know not of myself,—what is it then? If thou hast a secret in thy eyes of mournful mystery, out with it; Pierre demands it; what is that thou hast veiled in thee so imperfectly, that I seem to see its motion, but not its form? It visibly rustles behind the concealing screen. Now, never into the soul of Pierre, stole there before, a muffledness like this! If aught really lurks in it, ye sovereign powers that claim all my leal worshipings, I conjure ye to lift the veil; I must see it face to face. Tread I on a mine, warn me; advance I on a precipice, hold me back; but abandon me to an unknown misery, that it shall suddenly seize me, and possess me, wholly,—that ye will never do; else, Pierre’s fond faith in ye—now clean, untouched—may clean depart; and give me up to be a railing atheist! Ah, now the face departs. Pray heaven it hath not only stolen back, and hidden again in thy high secrecies, oh tree! But ’tis gone—gone—entirely gone; and I thank God, and I feel joy again; joy, which I also feel to be my right as man; deprived of joy, I feel I should find cause for deadly feuds with things invisible. Ha! a coat of iron-mail seems to grow round, and husk me now; and I have heard, that the bitterest winters are foretold by a thicker husk upon the Indian corn; so our old farmers say. But ’tis a dark similitude. Quit thy analogies; sweet in the orator’s mouth, bitter in the thinker’s belly. Now, then, I’ll up with my own joyful will; and with my joy’s face scare away all phantoms:—so, they go; and Pierre is Joy’s, and Life’s again. Thou pine-tree!—henceforth I will resist thy too treacherous persuasiveness. Thou’lt not so often woo me to thy airy tent, to ponder on the gloomy rooted stakes that bind it. Hence now I go; and peace be with thee, pine! That blessed sereneness which lurks ever at the heart of sadness—mere sadness—and remains when all the rest has gone;—that sweet feeling is now mine, and cheaply mine. I am not sorry I was sad, I feel so blessed now. Dearest Lucy!—well, well;—’twill be a pretty time we’ll have this evening; there’s the book of Flemish prints—that first we must look over; then, second, is Flaxman’s Homer—clear-cut outlines, yet full of unadorned barbaric nobleness. Then Flaxman’s Dante;—Dante! Night’s and Hell’s poet he. No, we will not open Dante. Methinks now the face—the face—minds me a little of pensive, sweet Francesca’s face—or, rather, as it had been Francesca’s daughter’s face—wafted on the sad dark wind, toward observant Virgil and the blistered Florentine. No, we will not open Flaxman’s Dante. Francesca’s mournful face is now ideal to me. Flaxman might evoke it wholly,—make it present in lines of misery—bewitching power. No! I will not open Flaxman’s Dante! Damned be the hour I read in Dante! more damned than that wherein Paolo and Francesca read in fatal Launcelot!”

“How wide and strong these roots must spread! This pine tree really takes a strong hold of this beautiful earth! That bright flower doesn’t have such deep roots. This tree has outlived a century of that cheerful flower’s generations and will outlive a century of them yet to come. This is very sad. Listen, I hear the countless, flame-like rustlings of this Eolean pine;—the wind is blowing now:—the wind,—that’s God’s breath! Is He feeling sad? Oh, tree! You are so powerful and tall, yet so mournful! This is very strange! Listen! As I look up into your high secrets, oh tree, the face, the face is looking down on me!—‘Are you Pierre? Come to me’—oh, you mysterious girl,—what an ill-matched counterpart you are to that other face of sweet Lucy, which also hangs, and first hung in my heart! Is grief a counterpart to happiness? Is grief a stubborn guest that will come in? Yet I have never known you, Grief;—you are a legend to me. I have tasted some fiery fits of glorious frenzy; I have often experienced daydreams; from where comes pensive thought; from where comes sadness; from where all the delicious poetic premonitions;—but you, Grief! are still a ghost story to me. I do not know you,—I almost disbelieve in you. Not that I would be without my too little cherished moments of sadness now and then; but God keep me from you, you other shape of far deeper gloom! You frighten me! The face!—the face!—it comes forth again from your high secrets, oh tree! The face is coming down upon me. Mysterious girl! who are you? by what right do you seize my deepest thoughts? Take your thin fingers away from me;—I am engaged, and not to you. Leave me!—what claim do you have on me? Surely, you do not love me?—that would be most miserable for you, and for me, and for Lucy. It cannot be. What, who are you? Oh! wretched vagueness—too familiar to me, yet unfathomable,—unknown, utterly unknown! I seem to be sinking in this confusion. You seem to know something about me that I do not know about myself,—what is it then? If you have a secret in your eyes of mournful mystery, reveal it; Pierre demands it; what is that you have hidden so imperfectly within you, that I seem to see its movement, but not its shape? It visibly rustles behind the concealing curtain. Now, never before has a muffledness like this entered Pierre's soul! If anything really lurks in it, you sovereign powers that receive all my loyal worship, I urge you to lift the veil; I must see it face to face. If I step on a mine, warn me; if I approach a precipice, hold me back; but do not abandon me to an unknown misery, that will suddenly seize and possess me completely,—that you will never do; otherwise, Pierre’s fond faith in you—now pure and untouched—may completely vanish; leaving me to become a railing atheist! Ah, now the face is leaving. I pray heaven it hasn’t only stolen back and hidden again in your high secrets, oh tree! But it’s gone—gone—entirely gone; and I thank God, and I feel joy again; joy, which I also feel is my right as a man; deprived of joy, I feel I would have cause for deadly feuds with invisible things. Ha! an iron coat seems to be growing around me now; and I’ve heard that the bitterest winters are predicted by a thicker husk on Indian corn; so say our old farmers. But it’s a dark analogy. Quit your comparisons; sweet in the speaker’s mouth, bitter in the thinker’s stomach. Now, then, I’ll rise with my own joyful will; and with my joy's face scare away all phantoms:—so, they go; and Pierre is Joy’s, and Life’s again. You pine tree!—from now on I will resist your too tempting allure. You won’t so often draw me to your airy tent, to ponder on the gloomy rooted stakes that bind it. Henceforth I go; and peace be with you, pine! That blessed calm which always lingers at the heart of sadness—just sadness—and remains when everything else has gone;—that sweet feeling is now mine, and rightfully mine. I am not sorry I was sad, I feel so blessed now. Dearest Lucy!—well, well;—we’ll have a lovely time this evening; there’s the book of Flemish prints—that first we must look through; then, second, is Flaxman’s Homer—clear-cut outlines, yet full of unadorned barbaric nobility. Then Flaxman’s Dante;—Dante! The poet of Night and Hell. No, we will not open Dante. Now the face—the face—reminds me a little of pensive, sweet Francesca’s face—or, rather, as it would have been Francesca’s daughter’s face—wafted on the sad dark wind, toward observant Virgil and the blistered Florentine. No, we will not open Flaxman’s Dante. Francesca’s mournful face is now ideal to me. Flaxman might fully evoke it,—make it present in lines of misery—bewitching power. No! I will not open Flaxman’s Dante! Cursed be the hour I read Dante! more cursed than the hour when Paolo and Francesca read in fatal Launcelot!”

BOOK III.
THE PRESENTIMENT AND THE VERIFICATION.

I.

THE face, of which Pierre and Lucy so strangely and fearfully hinted, was not of enchanted air; but its mortal lineaments of mournfulness had been visibly beheld by Pierre. Nor had it accosted him in any privacy; or in any lonely byeway; or beneath the white light of the crescent moon; but in a joyous chamber, bright with candles, and ringing with two score women’s gayest voices. Out of the heart of mirthfulness, this shadow had come forth to him. Encircled by bandelets of light, it had still beamed upon him; vaguely historic and prophetic; backward, hinting of some irrevocable sin; forward, pointing to some inevitable ill. One of those faces, which now and then appear to man, and without one word of speech, still reveal glimpses of some fearful gospel. In natural guise, but lit by supernatural light; palpable to the senses, but inscrutable to the soul; in their perfectest impression on us, ever hovering between Tartarean misery and Paradisaic beauty; such faces, compounded so of hell and heaven, overthrow in us all foregone persuasions, and make us wondering children in this world again.

The face that Pierre and Lucy hinted at so strangely and fearfully wasn't magical; but Pierre had clearly seen its sad features. It didn't approach him in secret, on a lonely street, or under the bright light of the crescent moon; instead, it appeared in a joyful room, filled with candles, and echoing with the laughter of two dozen women. From the heart of joy, this shadow emerged. Surrounded by bands of light, it still shone on him; vaguely historical and prophetic; hinting backwards at some unchangeable sin; pointing forward to some unavoidable trouble. It was one of those faces that occasionally appear to a person and, without uttering a word, reveal glimpses of a terrifying truth. In a natural form but illuminated by an otherworldly glow; tangible to the senses but incomprehensible to the soul; in their most perfect impact on us, they always hover between hellish despair and heavenly beauty; such faces, made of both hell and heaven, shatter all our previous beliefs and make us feel like wondering children in this world again.

The face had accosted Pierre some weeks previous to his ride with Lucy to the hills beyond Saddle Meadows; and before her arrival for the summer at the village; moreover it had accosted him in a very common and homely scene; but this enhanced the wonder.

The face had approached Pierre a few weeks before his ride with Lucy to the hills beyond Saddle Meadows and before her arrival for the summer in the village; what’s more, it had approached him in a very ordinary and simple scene, but this made the experience even more remarkable.

On some distant business, with a farmer-tenant, he had been absent from the mansion during the best part of the day, and had but just come home, early of a pleasant moonlight evening, when Dates delivered a message to him from his mother, begging him to come for her about half-past seven that night to Miss Llanyllyn’s cottage, in order to accompany her thence to that of the two Miss Pennies. At the mention of that last name, Pierre well knew what he must anticipate. Those elderly and truly pious spinsters, gifted with the most benevolent hearts in the world, and at mid-age deprived by envious nature of their hearing, seemed to have made it a maxim of their charitable lives, that since God had not given them any more the power to hear Christ’s gospel preached, they would therefore thenceforth do what they could toward practicing it. Wherefore, as a matter of no possible interest to them now, they abstained from church; and while with prayer-books in their hands the Rev. Mr. Falsgrave’s congregation were engaged in worshiping their God, according to the divine behest; the two Miss Pennies, with thread and needle, were hard at work in serving him; making up shirts and gowns for the poor people of the parish. Pierre had heard that they had recently been at the trouble of organizing a regular society, among the neighboring farmers’ wives and daughters, to meet twice a month at their own house (the Miss Pennies) for the purpose of sewing in concert for the benefit of various settlements of necessitous emigrants, who had lately pitched their populous shanties further up the river. But though this enterprise had not been started without previously acquainting Mrs. Glendinning of it,—for indeed she was much loved and honored by the pious spinsters,—and their promise of solid assistance from that gracious manorial lady; yet Pierre had not heard that his mother had been officially invited to preside, or be at all present at the semi-monthly meetings; though he supposed, that far from having any scruples against so doing, she would be very glad to associate that way, with the good people of the village.

On some distant business with a farmer-tenant, he had been away from the mansion for most of the day and had just returned home early on a pleasant moonlit evening when Dates brought him a message from his mother, asking him to pick her up around half-past seven that night at Miss Llanyllyn’s cottage so she could accompany him to the two Miss Pennies' home. At the mention of that last name, Pierre already knew what to expect. Those older and genuinely religious spinsters, blessed with the kindest hearts, and at middle age deprived of their hearing by nature’s cruel hand, seemed to have made it a principle of their generous lives that since God had not granted them the ability to hear the gospel preached, they would instead do their best to live by it. As a result, with no interest in attending church, while the congregation of Rev. Mr. Falsgrave was busy worshiping God with their prayer books, the two Miss Pennies were hard at work serving Him, sewing shirts and gowns for the poor of the parish. Pierre had heard that they had recently taken the initiative to set up a regular society among the local farmers' wives and daughters, meeting twice a month at their home to sew together for the benefit of various groups of needy emigrants who had recently settled in their crowded shanties further up the river. Although this initiative had been started after informing Mrs. Glendinning—who was much loved and respected by the devout spinsters—about it and their promise of solid support from that gracious lady, Pierre had not heard of his mother being officially invited to lead or even attend the bi-monthly meetings; though he assumed that she would be very happy to join in with the good people of the village.

“Now, brother Pierre”—said Mrs. Glendinning, rising from Miss Llanyllyn’s huge cushioned chair—“throw my shawl around me; and good-evening to Lucy’s aunt.—There, we shall be late.”

“Now, brother Pierre,” said Mrs. Glendinning, getting up from Miss Llanyllyn’s big cushioned chair, “wrap my shawl around me; and good evening to Lucy’s aunt. There, we’re going to be late.”

As they walked along, she added—“Now, Pierre, I know you are apt to be a little impatient sometimes, of these sewing scenes; but courage; I merely want to peep in on them; so as to get some inkling of what they would indeed be at; and then my promised benefactions can be better selected by me. Besides, Pierre, I could have had Dates escort me, but I preferred you; because I want you to know who they are you live among; how many really pretty, and naturally-refined dames and girls you shall one day be lord of the manor of. I anticipate a rare display of rural red and white.”

As they walked along, she said, “Now, Pierre, I know you can be a bit impatient with these sewing scenes, but hang in there; I just want to take a quick look at them so I can get an idea of what they’re really about. That way, I can choose my gifts for them more thoughtfully. Plus, Pierre, I could have had Dates come with me, but I chose you instead because I want you to meet the people you live around; to see how many lovely and naturally elegant women and girls you’ll one day be the lord of the manor for. I expect a beautiful display of rural red and white.”

Cheered by such pleasant promises, Pierre soon found himself leading his mother into a room full of faces. The instant they appeared, a gratuitous old body, seated with her knitting near the door, squeaked out shrilly—“Ah! dames, dames,—Madam Glendinning!—Master Pierre Glendinning!”

Cheered by such nice promises, Pierre soon found himself taking his mother into a room full of people. The moment they entered, a random old lady, sitting by the door with her knitting, let out a sharp voice—“Ah! Ladies, ladies,—Madam Glendinning!—Master Pierre Glendinning!”

Almost immediately following this sound, there came a sudden, long-drawn, unearthly, girlish shriek, from the further corner of the long, double room. Never had human voice so affected Pierre before. Though he saw not the person from whom it came, and though the voice was wholly strange to him, yet the sudden shriek seemed to split its way clean through his heart, and leave a yawning gap there. For an instant, he stood bewildered; but started at his mother’s voice; her arm being still in his. “Why do you clutch my arm so, Pierre? You pain me. Pshaw! some one has fainted,—nothing more.”

Almost immediately after that sound, a sudden, drawn-out, otherworldly, girlish scream echoed from the far corner of the long, double room. Pierre had never been so affected by a human voice before. Even though he couldn't see the person it came from and the voice was completely unfamiliar to him, the abrupt scream pierced through his heart, leaving a gaping void. For a moment, he stood there in confusion but was jolted back to reality by his mother’s voice, her arm still linked with his. “Why are you gripping my arm like that, Pierre? You’re hurting me. Oh, someone must have fainted—nothing more.”

Instantly Pierre recovered himself, and affecting to mock at his own trepidation, hurried across the room to offer his services, if such were needed. But dames and maidens had been all beforehand with him; the lights were wildly flickering in the air-current made by the flinging open of the casement, near to where the shriek had come. But the climax of the tumult was soon past; and presently, upon closing the casement, it subsided almost wholly. The elder of the spinster Pennies, advancing to Mrs. Glendinning, now gave her to understand, that one of the further crowd of industrious girls present, had been attacked by a sudden, but fleeting fit, vaguely imputable to some constitutional disorder or other. She was now quite well again. And so the company, one and all, seemingly acting upon their natural good-breeding, which in any one at bottom, is but delicacy and charity, refrained from all further curiosity; reminded not the girl of what had passed; noted her scarce at all; and all needles stitched away as before.

Instantly, Pierre gathered himself and pretended to laugh at his own panic as he rushed across the room to offer his help, if it was needed. But the ladies had already beaten him to it; the lights were flickering wildly in the draft caused by the open window near where the scream had come from. However, the peak of the chaos was short-lived, and soon after closing the window, it almost completely settled down. The older of the spinster Pennies approached Mrs. Glendinning and informed her that one of the girls in the crowd had experienced a sudden but brief episode that could be attributed to some kind of health issue. She was perfectly fine now. And so, the entire company, seemingly guided by their innate good manners, which at their core are just sensitivity and kindness, avoided any further inquiries, didn’t remind the girl of what had happened, barely acknowledged her, and went back to their sewing as before.

Leaving his mother to speak with whom she pleased, and attend alone to her own affairs with the society; Pierre, oblivious now in such a lively crowd, of any past unpleasantness, after some courtly words to the Miss Pennies,—insinuated into their understandings through a long coiled trumpet, which, when not in use, the spinsters wore, hanging like a powder-horn from their girdles:—and likewise, after manifesting the profoundest and most intelligent interest in the mystic mechanism of a huge woolen sock, in course of completion by a spectacled old lady of his more particular acquaintance; after all this had been gone through, and something more too tedious to detail, but which occupied him for nearly half an hour, Pierre, with a slightly blushing, and imperfectly balanced assurance, advanced toward the further crowd of maidens; where, by the light of many a well-snuffed candle, they clubbed all their bright contrasting cheeks, like a dense bed of garden tulips. There were the shy and pretty Maries, Marthas, Susans, Betties, Jennies, Nellies; and forty more fair nymphs, who skimmed the cream, and made the butter of the fat farms of Saddle Meadows.

Leaving his mother to chat with whoever she wanted and handle her own affairs in the crowd, Pierre, now caught up in the lively atmosphere and forgetting any past unpleasantness, exchanged some polite words with the Miss Pennies—communicated to them through a long coiled trumpet, which the spinsters wore like a powder-horn from their belts when it wasn't in use. He also showed deep and thoughtful interest in the intricate process of a large woolen sock being completed by a spectacled old lady he knew well. After going through all this, plus some other details too tedious to mention but which took him nearly half an hour, Pierre, slightly blushing and a bit unsteady in his confidence, moved toward another group of young women. By the light of many well-lit candles, they all had their bright and contrasting cheeks clustered together like a vibrant patch of garden tulips. There were the shy and pretty Maries, Marthas, Susans, Betties, Jennies, Nellies, and forty more lovely young women who brought in the cream and churned the butter of the rich farms of Saddle Meadows.

Assurance is in presence of the assured. Where embarrassments prevail, they affect the most disembarrassed. What wonder, then, that gazing on such a thick array of wreathing, roguish, half-averted, blushing faces—still audacious in their very embarrassment—Pierre, too, should flush a bit, and stammer in his attitudes a little? Youthful love and graciousness were in his heart; kindest words upon his tongue; but there he stood, target for the transfixing glances of those ambushed archers of the eye.

Assurance comes from being in the presence of those you trust. Where awkwardness exists, it impacts even those who seem most confident. So, it’s no surprise that, surrounded by so many playful, shy, blushing faces—still boldly uncomfortable—Pierre would feel himself blush and fumble a bit. His heart was full of young love and kindness; he had the sweetest words ready to share; yet there he stood, exposed to the piercing looks from those hidden observers.

But his abashments last too long; his cheek hath changed from blush to pallor; what strange thing does Pierre Glendinning see? Behind the first close, busy breast-work of young girls, are several very little stands, or circular tables, where sit small groups of twos and threes, sewing in small comparative solitudes, as it were. They would seem to be the less notable of the rural company; or else, for some cause, they have voluntarily retired into their humble banishment. Upon one of these persons engaged at the furthermost and least conspicuous of these little stands, and close by a casement, Pierre’s glance is palely fixed.

But his embarrassment lasts too long; his cheek has changed from a blush to a pale color; what strange thing does Pierre Glendinning see? Behind the first close, busy barrier of young girls, there are several small stands or circular tables, where small groups of two or three sit sewing in small, relative solitude, as it were. They seem to be the less noticeable members of the rural company; or perhaps, for some reason, they have chosen to retreat into their simple isolation. Pierre’s gaze is faintly fixed on one of these individuals engaged at the furthest and least noticeable of these little stands, right by a window.

The girl sits steadily sewing; neither she nor her two companions speak. Her eyes are mostly upon her work; but now and then a very close observer would notice that she furtively lifts them, and moves them sideways and timidly toward Pierre; and then, still more furtively and timidly toward his lady mother, further off. All the while, her preternatural calmness sometimes seems only made to cover the intensest struggle in her bosom. Her unadorned and modest dress is black; fitting close up to her neck, and clasping it with a plain, velvet border. To a nice perception, that velvet shows elastically; contracting and expanding, as though some choked, violent thing were risen up there within from the teeming region of her heart. But her dark, olive cheek is without a blush, or sign of any disquietude. So far as this girl lies upon the common surface, ineffable composure steeps her. But still, she sideways steals the furtive, timid glance. Anon, as yielding to the irresistible climax of her concealed emotion, whatever that may be, she lifts her whole marvelous countenance into the radiant candlelight, and for one swift instant, that face of supernaturalness unreservedly meets Pierre’s. Now, wonderful loveliness, and a still more wonderful loneliness, have with inexplicable implorings, looked up to him from that henceforth immemorial face. There, too, he seemed to see the fair ground where Anguish had contended with Beauty, and neither being conqueror, both had laid down on the field.

The girl sits quietly sewing; neither she nor her two companions say a word. Her eyes are mostly on her work, but now and then, a keen observer would notice her sneak glances sideways toward Pierre and then, even more shyly, toward his lady mother, who is further away. All the while, her unnatural calmness sometimes seems like a cover for the intense struggle within her. Her simple, modest dress is black, fitting closely to her neck and trimmed with a plain velvet border. To the discerning eye, that velvet appears to contract and expand, as if something stifled and tumultuous is rising from her heart. But her dark, olive cheek shows no blush or sign of unrest. As far as her exterior suggests, she is steeped in profound composure. Yet, she still steals furtive, timid glances. Eventually, as if succumbing to the overwhelming climax of her hidden emotions, whatever they may be, she lifts her entire beautiful face into the glowing candlelight, and for a brief moment, that otherworldly face openly meets Pierre’s gaze. In that moment, incredible beauty and an even more incredible loneliness, infused with unexplainable yearning, reached out to him from that now timeless face. There, he seems to witness the beautiful battleground where Anguish and Beauty have fought, and neither has conquered, leaving both at rest on the field.

Recovering at length from his all too obvious emotion, Pierre turned away still farther, to regain the conscious possession of himself. A wild, bewildering, and incomprehensible curiosity had seized him, to know something definite of that face. To this curiosity, at the moment, he entirely surrendered himself; unable as he was to combat it, or reason with it in the slightest way. So soon as he felt his outward composure returned to him, he purposed to chat his way behind the breastwork of bright eyes and cheeks, and on some parlor pretense or other, hear, if possible, an audible syllable from one whose mere silent aspect had so potentially moved him. But at length, as with this object in mind, he was crossing the room again, he heard his mother’s voice, gayly calling him away; and turning, saw her shawled and bonneted. He could now make no plausible stay, and smothering the agitation in him, he bowed a general and hurried adieu to the company, and went forth with his mother.

After finally getting a grip on his overwhelming emotions, Pierre turned away even further to regain his composure. A wild, confusing, and inexplicable curiosity took hold of him; he needed to know something concrete about that face. In that moment, he completely succumbed to this curiosity, unable to fight it or reason with it at all. As soon as he felt his outward calm returning, he planned to strike up a conversation to get past the bright eyes and cheeks, hoping to hear even a single word from someone whose silent presence had deeply affected him. But just as he was making his way across the room again with this goal in mind, he heard his mother’s cheerful voice calling him over. He turned to see her in her shawl and bonnet. He could no longer find a good reason to linger, and trying to suppress his agitation, he quickly said goodbye to everyone and left with his mother.

They had gone some way homeward, in perfect silence, when his mother spoke.

They had walked some distance home in complete silence when his mother spoke.

“Well, Pierre, what can it possibly be!”

“Well, Pierre, what could it possibly be?”

“My God, mother, did you see her then!”

“My God, Mom, did you see her then!”

“My son!” cried Mrs. Glendinning, instantly stopping in terror, and withdrawing her arm from Pierre, “what—what under heaven ails you? This is most strange! I but playfully asked, what you were so steadfastly thinking of; and here you answer me by the strangest question, in a voice that seems to come from under your great-grandfather’s tomb! What, in heaven’s name, does this mean, Pierre? Why were you so silent, and why now are you so ill-timed in speaking! Answer me;—explain all this;—sheshe—what she should you be thinking of but Lucy Tartan?—Pierre, beware, beware! I had thought you firmer in your lady’s faith, than such strange behavior as this would seem to hint. Answer me, Pierre, what may this mean? Come, I hate a mystery; speak, my son.”

“My son!” cried Mrs. Glendinning, instantly stopping in terror and pulling her arm away from Pierre. “What—what on earth is wrong with you? This is really strange! I just playfully asked what you were so focused on, and now you respond with the weirdest question, in a voice that sounds like it’s coming from your great-grandfather’s grave! What does this mean, Pierre? Why have you been so quiet, and why are you suddenly speaking at such an awkward moment? Answer me; explain all this;—her—her—who else would you be thinking about but Lucy Tartan?—Pierre, watch out, watch out! I thought you were more committed to your lady than this strange behavior suggests. Answer me, Pierre, what does this mean? Come on, I can’t stand a mystery; talk to me, my son.”

Fortunately, this prolonged verbalized wonder in his mother afforded Pierre time to rally from his double and aggravated astonishment, brought about by first suspecting that his mother also had been struck by the strange aspect of the face, and then, having that suspicion so violently beaten back upon him, by her apparently unaffected alarm at finding him in some region of thought wholly unshared by herself at the time.

Fortunately, this long, spoken surprise from his mother gave Pierre the time he needed to recover from his shock, which came from first suspecting that she was also taken aback by the stranger's face, and then, having that thought harshly pushed aside by her calm reaction to discovering him lost in a completely different train of thought that she wasn't part of at that moment.

“It is nothing—nothing, sister Mary; just nothing at all in the world. I believe I was dreaming—sleep-walking, or something of that sort. They were vastly pretty girls there this evening, sister Mary, were they not? Come, let us walk on—do, sister mine.”

“It’s nothing—nothing at all, sister Mary; just nothing in the world. I think I was dreaming—maybe sleepwalking or something like that. There were some really beautiful girls there this evening, sister Mary, weren’t there? Come on, let’s keep walking—please, sister.”

“Pierre, Pierre!—but I will take your arm again;—and have you really nothing more to say? were you really wandering, Pierre?”

“Pierre, Pierre!—but I'm going to take your arm again;—do you really have nothing more to say? Were you really lost in thought, Pierre?”

“I swear to you, my dearest mother, that never before in my whole existence, have I so completely gone wandering in my soul, as at that very moment. But it is all over now.” Then in a less earnest and somewhat playful tone, he added: “And sister mine, if you know aught of the physical and sanitary authors, you must be aware, that the only treatment for such a case of harmless temporary aberration, is for all persons to ignore it in the subject. So no more of this foolishness. Talking about it only makes me feel very unpleasantly silly, and there is no knowing that it may not bring it back upon me.”

“I promise you, my dearest mother, that never before in my entire life have I felt so completely lost within my own soul as I did at that moment. But it’s all over now.” Then, shifting to a more lighthearted tone, he added, “And sister, if you know anything about the physical and health experts, you must realize that the best way to handle such a harmless momentary lapse is for everyone to just ignore it. So let’s stop this nonsense. Talking about it only makes me feel really silly, and I can’t help but worry it might come back to me.”

“Then by all means, my dear boy, not another word about it. But it’s passing strange—very, very strange indeed. Well, about that morning business; how fared you? Tell me about it.”

“Then by all means, my dear boy, not another word about it. But it’s quite strange—very, very strange indeed. So, about that morning thing; how did it go for you? Tell me about it.”


II.

SO Pierre, gladly plunging into this welcome current of talk, was enabled to attend his mother home without furnishing further cause for her concern or wonderment. But not by any means so readily could he allay his own concern and wonderment. Too really true in itself, however evasive in its effect at the time, was that earnest answer to his mother, declaring that never in his whole existence had he been so profoundly stirred. The face haunted him as some imploring, and beauteous, impassioned, ideal Madonna’s haunts the morbidly longing and enthusiastic, but ever-baffled artist. And ever, as the mystic face thus rose before his fancy’s sight, another sense was touched in him; the long-drawn, unearthly, girlish shriek pealed through and through his soul; for now he knew the shriek came from the face—such Delphic shriek could only come from such a source. And wherefore that shriek? thought Pierre. Bodes it ill to the face, or me, or both? How am I changed, that my appearance on any scene should have power to work such woe? But it was mostly the face—the face, that wrought upon him. The shriek seemed as incidentally embodied there.

So Pierre, happily diving into this welcome flow of conversation, was able to take his mother home without causing her any more worry or confusion. But he couldn’t calm his own worry and confusion so easily. It was painfully true, yet elusive in its impact at that moment, that sincere answer he gave his mother, saying that never in his entire life had he been so deeply affected. The face lingered in his mind, like an imploring, beautiful, passionate ideal Madonna captivating a morbidly yearning and enthusiastic, yet perpetually frustrated artist. And always, as that mystical face appeared before his imagination, another feeling stirred within him; the long, otherworldly, girlish scream echoed through his soul, for he now realized the scream was tied to the face—such an oracle-like scream could only originate from such a source. And why that scream? Pierre wondered. Does it foretell bad news for the face, for me, or for both? How have I changed, that my presence could cause such grief? But it was mostly the face—the face, that affected him. The scream seemed to be just a secondary aspect of it.

The emotions he experienced seemed to have taken hold of the deepest roots and subtlest fibres of his being. And so much the more that it was so subterranean in him, so much the more did he feel its weird inscrutableness. What was one unknown, sad-eyed, shrieking girl to him? There must be sad-eyed girls somewhere in the world, and this was only one of them. And what was the most beautiful sad-eyed girl to him? Sadness might be beautiful, as well as mirth—he lost himself trying to follow out this tangle. “I will no more of this infatuation,” he would cry; but forth from regions of irradiated air, the divine beauty and imploring sufferings of the face, stole into his view.

The emotions he felt seemed to grip the deepest parts and smallest fibers of his being. And because it was so buried within him, he sensed its strange depth even more. What did one unknown, sad-eyed, screaming girl mean to him? There must be sad-eyed girls somewhere in the world, and this one was just one among many. And what did the most beautiful sad-eyed girl mean to him? Sadness could be beautiful, just like joy—he got lost trying to untangle this. “I want no more of this obsession,” he would shout; yet from the glowing regions of the air, the divine beauty and pleading pain of her face crept into his vision.

Hitherto I have ever held but lightly, thought Pierre, all stories of ghostly mysticalness in man; my creed of this world leads me to believe in visible, beautiful flesh, and audible breath, however sweet and scented; but only in visible flesh, and audible breath, have I hitherto believed. But now!—now!—and again he would lose himself in the most surprising and preternatural ponderings, which baffled all the introspective cunning of his mind. Himself was too much for himself. He felt that what he had always before considered the solid land of veritable reality, was now being audaciously encroached upon by bannered armies of hooded phantoms, disembarking in his soul, as from flotillas of specter-boats.

Up until now, Pierre had always been skeptical of ghostly and mystical stories about people; his beliefs about the world made him trust in tangible, beautiful flesh and sweet, fragrant breath. But he had only ever believed in what was visible and audible. But now!—now!—he found himself lost in the most surprising and otherworldly thoughts, which puzzled even the sharpest corners of his mind. He was more than he could handle. He realized that what he had always seen as the solid ground of reality was now being boldly invaded by armies of hooded phantoms, arriving in his soul as if from fleets of ghostly boats.

The terrors of the face were not those of Gorgon; not by repelling hideousness did it smite him so; but bewilderingly allured him, by its nameless beauty, and its long-suffering, hopeless anguish.

The fears that the face inspired weren't like those of a Gorgon; it didn't strike him with its monstrous appearance. Instead, it captivated him in a confusing way with its indescribable beauty and its enduring, hopeless sadness.

But he was sensible that this general effect upon him, was also special; the face somehow mystically appealing to his own private and individual affections; and by a silent and tyrannic call, challenging him in his deepest moral being, and summoning Truth, Love, Pity, Conscience, to the stand. Apex of all wonders! thought Pierre; this indeed almost unmans me with its wonderfulness. Escape the face he could not. Muffling his own in his bed-clothes—that did not hide it. Flying from it by sunlight down the meadows, was as vain.

But he realized that this overall effect on him was also personal; the face somehow had a mysterious appeal to his own private feelings. It called to him silently and powerfully, challenging him in his deepest moral core, bringing forth Truth, Love, Pity, and Conscience to testify. The peak of all wonders! thought Pierre; this truly almost brings me to my knees with its extraordinary nature. He couldn’t escape the face. Even covering his own with the bedclothes didn’t mask it. Running away from it into the sunlight down the meadows was just as futile.

Most miraculous of all to Pierre was the vague impression, that somewhere he had seen traits of the likeness of that face before. But where, he could not say; nor could he, in the remotest degree, imagine. He was not unaware—for in one or two instances, he had experienced the fact—that sometimes a man may see a passing countenance in the street, which shall irresistibly and magnetically affect him, for a moment, as wholly unknown to him, and yet strangely reminiscent of some vague face he has previously encountered, in some fancied time, too, of extreme interest to his life. But not so was it now with Pierre. The face had not perplexed him for a few speculative minutes, and then glided from him, to return no more. It stayed close by him; only—and not invariably—could he repel it, by the exertion of all his resolution and self-will. Besides, what of general enchantment lurked in his strange sensations, seemed concentringly condensed, and pointed to a spear-head, that pierced his heart with an inexplicable pang, whenever the specializing emotion—to call it so—seized the possession of his thoughts, and waved into his visions, a thousand forms of by-gone times, and many an old legendary family scene, which he had heard related by his elderly relations, some of them now dead.

To Pierre, the most amazing thing was the nagging feeling that he had seen features of that face somewhere before. But where, he couldn’t say; nor could he even begin to imagine. He knew—having experienced it once or twice—that sometimes a stranger's face can catch your eye in the street and somehow move you, even though you’ve never seen them before, like a distant memory of someone from a significant moment in your life. But this was different for Pierre. The face didn't just puzzle him for a few minutes before fading away; it lingered nearby. Only sometimes could he push it away, by using all his determination and willpower. Moreover, the strange feelings he had seemed to be building up, leading to a sharp pang in his heart whenever the particular emotion—if that’s what you’d call it—took over his thoughts, bringing to life a thousand images from the past, including many old family stories told by his elderly relatives, some of whom had since passed away.

Disguising his wild reveries as best he might from the notice of his mother, and all other persons of her household, for two days Pierre wrestled with his own haunted spirit; and at last, so effectually purged it of all weirdnesses, and so effectually regained the general mastery of himself, that for a time, life went with him, as though he had never been stirred so strangely. Once more, the sweet unconditional thought of Lucy slid wholly into his soul, dislodging thence all such phantom occupants. Once more he rode, he walked, he swam, he vaulted; and with new zest threw himself into the glowing practice of all those manly exercises, he so dearly loved. It almost seemed in him, that ere promising forever to protect, as well as eternally to love, his Lucy, he must first completely invigorate and embrawn himself into the possession of such a noble muscular manliness, that he might champion Lucy against the whole physical world.

Hiding his wild thoughts as best he could from his mother and everyone else in the house, Pierre struggled with his troubled mind for two days. Eventually, he managed to clear out all the oddness from his thoughts and regained control over himself, so much so that for a while, life felt normal again, as if nothing had ever disturbed him. Once again, the sweet, unconditional thought of Lucy filled his soul, driving away all those haunting distractions. He rode, walked, swam, and jumped with renewed enthusiasm, diving back into all the physical activities he loved so much. It almost felt to him that before promising to always protect and love Lucy, he needed to completely strengthen himself into a truly noble figure of manliness, so he could stand up for Lucy against the entire physical world.

Still—even before the occasional reappearance of the face to him—Pierre, for all his willful ardor in his gymnasticals and other diversions, whether in-doors or out, or whether by book or foil; still, Pierre could not but be secretly annoyed, and not a little perplexed, as to the motive, which, for the first time in his recollection, had impelled him, not merely to conceal from his mother a singular circumstance in his life (for that, he felt would have been but venial; and besides, as will eventually be seen, he could find one particular precedent for it, in his past experience) but likewise, and superaddedly, to parry, nay, to evade, and, in effect, to return something alarmingly like a fib, to an explicit question put to him by his mother;—such being the guise, in which part of the conversation they had had that eventful night, now appeared to his fastidious sense. He considered also, that his evasive answer had not pantheistically burst from him in a momentary interregnum of self-command. No; his mother had made quite a lengthy speech to him; during which he well remembered, he had been carefully, though with trepidation, turning over in his mind, how best he might recall her from her unwished-for and untimely scent. Why had this been so? Was this his wont? What inscrutable thing was it, that so suddenly had seized him, and made him a falsifyer—ay, a falsifyer and nothing less—to his own dearly-beloved, and confiding mother? Here, indeed, was something strange for him; here was stuff for his utmost ethical meditations. But, nevertheless, on strict introspection, he felt, that he would not willingly have it otherwise; not willingly would he now undissemble himself in this matter to his mother. Why was this, too? Was this his wont? Here, again, was food for mysticism. Here, in imperfect inklings, tinglings, presentiments, Pierre began to feel—what all mature men, who are Magians, sooner or later know, and more or less assuredly—that not always in our actions, are we our own factors. But this conceit was very dim in Pierre; and dimness is ever suspicious and repugnant to us; and so, Pierre shrank abhorringly from the infernal catacombs of thought, down into which, this fœtal fancy beckoned him. Only this, though in secret, did he cherish; only this, he felt persuaded of; namely, that not for both worlds would he have his mother made a partner to his sometime mystic mood.

Still—even before the rare moments when he would see that familiar face—Pierre, despite his passionate enthusiasm for gymnastics and other activities, whether indoors or outdoors, or whether with books or swords; still, he couldn’t help but feel secretly annoyed and somewhat confused about the reason that, for the first time he could remember, had driven him not just to hide a unique aspect of his life from his mother (for he felt that would have been forgivable; and besides, as will eventually be seen, he could find one specific example from his past to justify it), but also, on top of that, to dodge, even evade, and effectively tell what felt alarmingly like a lie in response to a straightforward question posed by his mother;—such was the nature of part of their conversation that fateful night, which now struck him as troubling. He also considered that his evasive answer had not just burst out of him in a momentary lapse of self-control. No; his mother had given him quite a long speech; during which he distinctly remembered carefully, albeit anxiously, thinking about how best he could steer her away from her unwanted and untimely inquiry. Why had this happened? Was this how he usually acted? What inexplicable force had suddenly taken hold of him, making him a liar—yes, a liar and nothing less—to his beloved, trusting mother? Here was something odd for him; here was material for deep ethical reflection. Nevertheless, upon careful self-examination, he felt he wouldn’t willingly change this; he wouldn’t willingly reveal the truth about this matter to his mother. Why was that? Was this his usual behavior? Again, this sparked thoughts of mysticism. Here, in vague feelings, sensations, and premonitions, Pierre began to realize—what all mature men who are wise enough know, sooner or later and to varying degrees—that we are not always the authors of our own actions. But this idea was quite unclear to Pierre; and uncertainty always feels suspect and unpleasant to us; so, he recoiled in horror from the dark depths of thought into which this troubling notion beckoned him. Only this, though in secret, did he hold onto; only this, he felt sure of; namely, that he wouldn’t want for anything to involve his mother in his occasional mystical state of mind.

But with this nameless fascination of the face upon him, during those two days that it had first and fully possessed him for its own, did perplexed Pierre refrain from that apparently most natural of all resources,—boldly seeking out, and returning to the palpable cause, and questioning her, by look or voice, or both together—the mysterious girl herself? No; not entirely did Pierre here refrain. But his profound curiosity and interest in the matter—strange as it may seem—did not so much appear to be embodied in the mournful person of the olive girl, as by some radiations from her, embodied in the vague conceits which agitated his own soul. There, lurked the subtler secret: that, Pierre had striven to tear away. From without, no wonderful effect is wrought within ourselves, unless some interior, responding wonder meets it. That the starry vault shall surcharge the heart with all rapturous marvelings, is only because we ourselves are greater miracles, and superber trophies than all the stars in universal space. Wonder interlocks with wonder; and then the confounding feeling comes. No cause have we to fancy, that a horse, a dog, a fowl, ever stand transfixed beneath yon skyey load of majesty. But our soul’s arches underfit into its; and so, prevent the upper arch from falling on us with unsustainable inscrutableness. “Explain ye my deeper mystery,” said the shepherd Chaldean king, smiting his breast, lying on his back upon the plain; “and then, I will bestow all my wonderings upon ye, ye stately stars!” So, in some sort, with Pierre. Explain thou this strange integral feeling in me myself, he thought—turning upon the fancied face—and I will then renounce all other wonders, to gaze wonderingly at thee. But thou hast evoked in me profounder spells than the evoking one, thou face! For me, thou hast uncovered one infinite, dumb, beseeching countenance of mystery, underlying all the surfaces of visible time and space.

But with this unnamed fascination with her face, during those two days when it completely took hold of him, Pierre was perplexed enough to avoid the most obvious solution—going directly to the source and asking her, through a look or a voice, or both—the mysterious girl herself? No; Pierre didn’t completely refrain from this. However, his deep curiosity and interest in the situation—strange as it may seem—didn't seem to be focused solely on the sad olive girl, but rather on the vague thoughts stirring within his own soul. There lay the deeper secret: that which Pierre struggled to understand. From the outside, nothing extraordinary happens within us unless some internal wonder responds to it. The reason the starry sky fills our hearts with rapturous awe is that we ourselves are greater wonders and more magnificent trophies than all the stars in the universe. Wonder connects with wonder; and then we experience that bewildering feeling. There’s no reason to think that a horse, a dog, or a bird ever stands awestruck under that majestic sky. Yet our souls connect with its grandeur, preventing the upper arch from crashing down on us in an overwhelming mystery. “Explain my deeper mystery,” said the Chaldean king, striking his chest while lying on his back on the plain; “and then, I will give all my wonder to you, oh stately stars!” So it was somewhat similar for Pierre. You must explain this strange integral feeling within me, he thought—focusing on the imagined face—and then I will give up all other wonders just to gaze at you in fascination. But you have stirred up deeper spells within me than you yourself possess, oh face! For me, you have revealed one infinite, silent, beseeching countenance of mystery that lies beneath all visible time and space.

But during those two days of his first wild vassalage to his original sensations, Pierre had not been unvisited by less mysterious impulses. Two or three very plain and practical plannings of desirable procedures in reference to some possible homely explication of all this nonsense—so he would momentarily denominate it—now and then flittingly intermitted his pervading mood of semi-madness. Once he had seized his hat, careless of his accustomed gloves and cane, and found himself in the street, walking very rapidly in the direction of the Miss Pennies’. But whither now? he disenchantingly interrogated himself. Where would you go? A million to one, those deaf old spinsters can tell you nothing you burn to know. Deaf old spinsters are not used to be the depositaries of such mystical secrecies. But then, they may reveal her name—where she dwells, and something, however fragmentary and unsatisfactory, of who she is, and whence. Ay; but then, in ten minutes after your leaving them, all the houses in Saddle Meadows would be humming with the gossip of Pierre Glendinning engaged to marry Lucy Tartan, and yet running about the country, in ambiguous pursuit of strange young women. That will never do. You remember, do you not, often seeing the Miss Pennies, hatless and without a shawl, hurrying through the village, like two postmen intent on dropping some tit-bit of precious gossip? What a morsel for them, Pierre, have you, if you now call upon them. Verily, their trumpets are both for use and for significance. Though very deaf, the Miss Pennies are by no means dumb. They blazon very wide.

But during those two days of his first wild experience with his original feelings, Pierre had not been completely without less mysterious urges. Here and there, two or three straightforward and practical plans for dealing with all this confusion—what he would sometimes call it—would intermittently break through his overwhelming sense of semi-madness. At one point, he grabbed his hat, ignoring his usual gloves and cane, and found himself outside, walking quickly toward the Miss Pennies’. But where was he going? he disillusionedly asked himself. Where would you go? Chances are those deaf old spinsters can tell you nothing you desperately want to know. Deaf old spinsters aren’t known for keeping such mystical secrets. But they might reveal her name—where she lives, and something, even if it’s brief and unsatisfactory, about who she is and where she’s from. Yes; but then, within ten minutes of leaving them, all the houses in Saddle Meadows would be buzzing with the gossip of Pierre Glendinning engaged to marry Lucy Tartan, while also running around the countryside in search of mysterious young women. That can’t happen. You remember seeing the Miss Pennies, without hats and shawls, rushing through the village like two mail carriers eager to share some juicy gossip? What a scoop you’d be giving them if you decided to visit. Truly, their trumpets are both for announcing and for signaling. Although quite deaf, the Miss Pennies are definitely not mute. They spread news far and wide.

“Now be sure, and say that it was the Miss Pennies, who left the news—be sure—we—the Miss Pennies—remember—say to Mrs. Glendinning it was we.” Such was the message that now half-humorously occurred to Pierre, as having been once confided to him by the sister spinsters, one evening when they called with a choice present of some very recherche chit-chat for his mother; but found the manorial lady out; and so charged her son with it; hurrying away to all the inferior houses, so as not to be anywhere forestalled in their disclosure.

“Now make sure to tell them it was the Miss Pennies who shared the news—be sure—we—the Miss Pennies—remember—tell Mrs. Glendinning it was us.” This was the message that amusingly crossed Pierre's mind, as it had once been shared with him by the two single sisters one evening when they dropped by with a special gift of some very recherche gossip for his mother. But she wasn’t home, so they left it to him to pass on, rushing off to visit all the less important houses to make sure no one else got to share it first.

Now, I wish it had been any other house than the Miss Pennies; any other house but theirs, and on my soul I believe I should have gone. But not to them—no, that I can not do. It would be sure to reach my mother, and then she would put this and that together—stir a little—let it simmer—and farewell forever to all her majestic notions of my immaculate integrity. Patience, Pierre, the population of this region is not so immense. No dense mobs of Nineveh confound all personal identities in Saddle Meadows. Patience; thou shalt see it soon again; catch it passing thee in some green lane, sacred to thy evening reveries. She that bears it can not dwell remote. Patience, Pierre. Ever are such mysteries best and soonest unraveled by the eventual unraveling of themselves. Or, if you will, go back and get your gloves, and more especially your cane, and begin your own secret voyage of discovery after it. Your cane, I say; because it will probably be a very long and weary walk. True, just now I hinted, that she that bears it can not dwell very remote; but then her nearness may not be at all conspicuous. So, homeward, and put off thy hat, and let thy cane stay still, good Pierre. Seek not to mystify the mystery so.

Now, I wish it had been any other house than the Miss Pennies; any other house but theirs, and I genuinely believe I would have gone. But not to them—no, I can't do that. It would definitely get back to my mother, and then she would piece it all together—mix it up a bit—let it simmer—and say goodbye forever to her lofty ideas of my spotless integrity. Patience, Pierre, the population around here isn't that big. There aren't any huge crowds in Saddle Meadows that confuse everyone's identities like in Nineveh. Patience; you will see it again soon; catch it passing by in some quiet lane, perfect for your evening thoughts. Whoever holds it can’t be too far away. Patience, Pierre. Such mysteries are often best and quickest solved by the truths that reveal themselves in time. Or, if you prefer, go back and grab your gloves, especially your cane, and start your own secret quest to find it. Your cane, I say, because it’s probably going to be a very long and tiring walk. True, I just mentioned that whoever holds it can't be very far away; but their closeness might not be obvious at all. So, head home, take off your hat, and let your cane rest, good Pierre. Don't try to complicate the mystery too much.

Thus, intermittingly, ever and anon during those sad two days of deepest sufferance, Pierre would stand reasoning and expostulating with himself; and by such meditative treatment, reassure his own spontaneous impulses. Doubtless, it was wise and right that so he did; doubtless: but in a world so full of all dubieties as this, one can never be entirely certain whether another person, however carefully and cautiously conscientious, has acted in all respects conceivable for the very best.

Thus, from time to time, during those frustrating two days of intense suffering, Pierre would stand there reasoning and arguing with himself; and through this reflective process, he would calm his own natural instincts. It was certainly wise and right for him to do so; no doubt about that. But in a world filled with uncertainties like this, one can never be completely sure whether another person, no matter how careful and conscientious, has acted in every possible way for the very best.

But when the two days were gone by, and Pierre began to recognize his former self as restored to him from its mystic exile, then the thoughts of personally and pointedly seeking out the unknown, either preliminarily by a call upon the sister spinsters, or generally by performing the observant lynx-eyed circuit of the country on foot, and as a crafty inquisitor, dissembling his cause of inquisition; these and all similar intentions completely abandoned Pierre.

But after two days had passed, and Pierre started to feel like his old self again after its mysterious absence, the idea of actively and directly searching for the unknown—whether by visiting the unmarried sisters or by carefully roaming the countryside on foot, acting as a sneaky investigator while hiding his true motives—these thoughts and any similar plans completely left Pierre’s mind.

He was now diligently striving, with all his mental might, forever to drive the phantom from him. He seemed to feel that it begat in him a certain condition of his being, which was most painful, and every way uncongenial to his natural, wonted self. It had a touch of he knew not what sort of unhealthiness in it, so to speak; for, in his then ignorance, he could find no better term; it seemed to have in it a germ of somewhat which, if not quickly extirpated, might insidiously poison and embitter his whole life—that choice, delicious life which he had vowed to Lucy for his one pure and comprehensive offering—at once a sacrifice and a delight.

He was now working hard, with all his mental energy, to push the ghost away from him. He felt that it created a painful state within him, one that was completely at odds with his usual self. It had a hint of something he couldn't quite identify as unhealthy, so to speak; in his ignorance at the time, he couldn't find a better way to describe it. It seemed to contain a seed of something that, if not quickly removed, could slowly poison and sour his entire life—that precious, wonderful life he had promised to Lucy as his one true and all-encompassing gift—both a sacrifice and a joy.

Nor in these endeavorings did he entirely fail. For the most part, he felt now that he had a power over the comings and the goings of the face; but not on all occasions. Sometimes the old, original mystic tyranny would steal upon him; the long, dark, locks of mournful hair would fall upon his soul, and trail their wonderful melancholy along with them; the two full, steady, over-brimming eyes of loveliness and anguish would converge their magic rays, till he felt them kindling he could not tell what mysterious fires in the heart at which they aimed.

Nor in these attempts did he completely fail. For the most part, he now felt that he had some control over the comings and goings of the face; but not all the time. Sometimes the old, familiar mystic power would come over him; the long, dark, mournful hair would fall upon his soul and carry its wonderful sadness with it; the two full, steady, sparkling eyes of beauty and anguish would send out their magical rays, until he felt them igniting he couldn’t quite identify what mysterious fires in the heart at which they aimed.

When once this feeling had him fully, then was the perilous time for Pierre. For supernatural as the feeling was, and appealing to all things ultramontane to his soul; yet was it a delicious sadness to him. Some hazy fairy swam above him in the heavenly ether, and showered down upon him the sweetest pearls of pensiveness. Then he would be seized with a singular impulse to reveal the secret to some one other individual in the world. Only one, not more; he could not hold all this strange fullness in himself. It must be shared. In such an hour it was, that chancing to encounter Lucy (her, whom above all others, he did confidingly adore), she heard the story of the face; nor slept at all that night; nor for a long time freed her pillow completely from wild, Beethoven sounds of distant, waltzing melodies, as of ambiguous fairies dancing on the heath.

Once this feeling took hold of him completely, it was a dangerous time for Pierre. Though the feeling seemed supernatural and called out to everything beyond him, it brought him a bittersweet sadness. A dreamy fairy floated above him in the sky, showering him with the most beautiful pearls of reflection. In that moment, he felt a strong urge to share this secret with just one other person in the world. Only one; he couldn't keep all this strange fullness to himself. It was during such a time that he happened to run into Lucy (the one he adored more than anyone else), and she heard the story of the face. Neither of them slept that night, and for a long time, Lucy's pillow was not free from the wild, Beethoven-like sounds of distant waltzing melodies, as if ambiguous fairies were dancing on the heath.


III.

THIS history goes forward and goes backward, as occasion calls. Nimble center, circumference elastic you must have. Now we return to Pierre, wending homeward from his reveries beneath the pine-tree.

THIS history moves forward and backward, as needed. You should have a flexible center and a stretchable boundary. Now we go back to Pierre, making his way home from his musings under the pine tree.

His burst of impatience against the sublime Italian, Dante, arising from that poet being the one who, in a former time, had first opened to his shuddering eyes the infinite cliffs and gulfs of human mystery and misery;—though still more in the way of experimental vision, than of sensational presentiment or experience (for as yet he had not seen so far and deep as Dante, and therefore was entirely incompetent to meet the grim bard fairly on his peculiar ground), this ignorant burst of his young impatience,—also arising from that half contemptuous dislike, and sometimes selfish loathing, with which, either naturally feeble or undeveloped minds, regard those dark ravings of the loftier poets, which are in eternal opposition to their own fine-spun, shallow dreams of rapturous or prudential Youth;—this rash, untutored burst of Pierre’s young impatience, seemed to have carried off with it, all the other forms of his melancholy—if melancholy it had been—and left him now serene again, and ready for any tranquil pleasantness the gods might have in store. For his, indeed, was true Youth’s temperament,—summary with sadness, swift to joyfulness, and long protracting, and detaining with that joyfulness, when once it came fully nigh to him.

His outburst of impatience towards the great Italian poet Dante came from the fact that Dante had previously opened his eyes to the endless cliffs and depths of human mystery and suffering. However, it was more about experiencing visions than having any intense feelings or experiences himself (since he still hadn’t seen as deeply as Dante and was therefore not equipped to confront the serious poet on his own terms). This outburst of his youthful frustration, stemming from a mix of half-contempt and sometimes selfish dislike, was common among either weak or undeveloped minds. They often view the dark expressions of greater poets with disdain, which clash with their own shallow, idealistic fantasies of youth. This impulsive and untrained reaction from Pierre seemed to have swept away all other aspects of his sadness—if sadness it had been—and left him calm and ready for any peaceful joy the universe might offer. Indeed, he embodied the true nature of youth: quick to feel sadness, eager for happiness, and capable of holding onto that happiness for as long as it lasted.

As he entered the dining-hall, he saw Dates retiring from another door with his tray. Alone and meditative, by the bared half of the polished table, sat his mother at her dessert; fruit-baskets, and a decanter were before her. On the other leaf of the same table, still lay the cloth, folded back upon itself, and set out with one plate and its usual accompaniments.

As he walked into the dining hall, he noticed Dates leaving through another door with his tray. Alone and lost in thought, his mother sat at her dessert on the exposed half of the polished table; fruit baskets and a decanter were in front of her. On the other half of the same table, the cloth was still neatly folded back, set with one plate and its usual sides.

“Sit down, Pierre; when I came home, I was surprised to hear that the phaeton had returned so early, and here I waited dinner for you, until I could wait no more. But go to the green pantry now, and get what Dates has but just put away for you there. Heigh-ho! too plainly I foresee it—no more regular dinner-hours, or tea-hours, or supper-hours, in Saddle Meadows, till its young lord is wedded. And that puts me in mind of something, Pierre; but I’ll defer it till you have eaten a little. Do you know, Pierre, that if you continue these irregular meals of yours, and deprive me so entirely almost of your company, that I shall run fearful risk of getting to be a terrible wine-bibber;—yes, could you unalarmed see me sitting all alone here with this decanter, like any old nurse, Pierre; some solitary, forlorn old nurse, Pierre, deserted by her last friend, and therefore forced to embrace her flask?”

“Sit down, Pierre; when I got home, I was shocked to hear that the phaeton came back so early, and I waited for dinner for you until I couldn’t wait any longer. But go to the green pantry now and grab what Dates just put away for you. Heigh-ho! I can already see it—there won't be any regular dinner times, or tea times, or supper times in Saddle Meadows until its young lord gets married. And that reminds me of something, Pierre; but I’ll hold off until you’ve eaten a bit. Do you know, Pierre, if you keep skipping meals like this and leaving me alone so much, I’m going to risk becoming a terrible wine drinker; yes, could you calmly see me sitting all alone here with this decanter, like some old nurse, Pierre; a lonely, abandoned old nurse, Pierre, deserted by her last friend, and therefore forced to cling to her flask?”

“No, I did not feel any great alarm, sister,” said Pierre, smiling, “since I could not but perceive that the decanter was still full to the stopple.”

“No, I didn’t feel any real alarm, sis,” said Pierre, smiling, “since I could see that the decanter was still full to the brim.”

“Possibly it may be only a fresh decanter, Pierre;” then changing her voice suddenly—“but mark me, Mr. Pierre Glendinning!”

“Maybe it's just a new decanter, Pierre;” then suddenly changing her tone—“but listen to me, Mr. Pierre Glendinning!”

“Well, Mrs. Mary Glendinning!”

“Well, Mrs. Mary Glendinning!”

“Do you know, sir, that you are very shortly to be married,—that indeed the day is all but fixed?”

“Do you know, sir, that you're about to get married really soon—that the date is almost set?”

“How-!” cried Pierre, in real joyful astonishment, both at the nature of the tidings, and the earnest tones in which they were conveyed—“dear, dear mother, you have strangely changed your mind then, my dear mother.”

“How-!” cried Pierre, in genuine joyful surprise, both at the nature of the news and the serious tone in which it was delivered—“dear, dear mother, you’ve really changed your mind, my dear mother.”

“It is even so, dear brother;—before this day month I hope to have a little sister Tartan.”

“It’s true, dear brother;—before this day next month I hope to have a little sister Tartan.”

“You talk very strangely, mother,” rejoined Pierre, quickly. “I suppose, then, I have next to nothing to say in the matter!”

“You talk very strangely, mom,” Pierre responded quickly. “I guess that means I have almost nothing to say about it!”

“Next to nothing, Pierre! What indeed could you say to the purpose? what at all have you to do with it, I should like to know? Do you so much as dream, you silly boy, that men ever have the marrying of themselves? Juxtaposition marries men. There is but one match-maker in the world, Pierre, and that is Mrs. Juxtaposition, a most notorious lady!”

“Almost nothing, Pierre! What exactly could you say that’s relevant? What do you even have to do with it, if I may ask? Do you really think, you silly boy, that people get to choose who they marry? It’s circumstance that pairs people. There’s only one matchmaker in the world, Pierre, and that’s Mrs. Circumstance, a very infamous lady!”

“Very peculiar, disenchanting sort of talk, this, under the circumstances, sister Mary,” laying down his fork. “Mrs. Juxtaposition, ah! And in your opinion, mother, does this fine glorious passion only amount to that?”

“Very strange, disappointing kind of talk, this, given the situation, sister Mary,” he said, putting down his fork. “Mrs. Juxtaposition, huh! And in your opinion, mother, does this wonderful, glorious passion really come down to just that?”

“Only to that, Pierre; but mark you: according to my creed—though this part of it is a little hazy—Mrs. Juxtaposition moves her pawns only as she herself is moved to so doing by the spirit.”

“Only that, Pierre; but remember: according to my beliefs—though this part is a bit unclear—Mrs. Juxtaposition only moves her pieces when she feels compelled to do so by the spirit.”

“Ah! that sets it all right again,” said Pierre, resuming his fork—“my appetite returns. But what was that about my being married so soon?” he added, vainly striving to assume an air of incredulity and unconcern; “you were joking, I suppose; it seems to me, sister, either you or I was but just now wandering in the mind a little, on that subject. Are you really thinking of any such thing? and have you really vanquished your sagacious scruples by yourself, after I had so long and ineffectually sought to do it for you? Well, I am a million times delighted; tell me quick!”

“Ah! that makes everything right again,” said Pierre, picking up his fork—“my appetite is back. But what was that about me getting married so soon?” he added, trying unsuccessfully to look incredulous and indifferent; “you were joking, right? It seems to me, sister, that either you or I was a bit off earlier when it came to that subject. Are you really considering something like that? And have you actually managed to overcome your clever doubts on your own, after I tried so hard and failed to do it for you? Well, I’m thrilled to bits; tell me quickly!”

“I will, Pierre. You very well know, that from the first hour you apprised me—or rather, from a period prior to that—from the moment that I, by my own insight, became aware of your love for Lucy, I have always approved it. Lucy is a delicious girl; of honorable descent, a fortune, well-bred, and the very pattern of all that I think amiable and attractive in a girl of seventeen.”

“I will, Pierre. You know very well that from the moment you told me—or even before that, when I figured out on my own that you loved Lucy—I’ve always supported it. Lucy is a wonderful girl; she comes from a good family, has money, is well-mannered, and truly embodies everything I find charming and appealing in a seventeen-year-old girl.”

“Well, well, well,” cried Pierre rapidly and impetuously; “we both knew that before.”

“Well, well, well,” Pierre exclaimed quickly and impulsively; “we already knew that.”

“Well, well, well, Pierre,” retorted his mother, mockingly.

“Well, well, well, Pierre,” his mother replied, teasingly.

“It is not well, well, well; but ill, ill, ill, to torture me so, mother; go on, do!”

“It’s not good, good, good; it’s bad, bad, bad, to torture me like this, mother; keep going, do!”

“But notwithstanding my admiring approval of your choice, Pierre; yet, as you know, I have resisted your entreaties for my consent to your speedy marriage, because I thought that a girl of scarcely seventeen, and a boy scarcely twenty, should not be in such a hurry;—there was plenty of time, I thought, which could be profitably employed by both.”

"But even though I admire your choice, Pierre, I have held off on agreeing to your request for a quick marriage. I believe that a girl who's barely seventeen and a boy who's just twenty shouldn't rush into things. There's plenty of time, and I think it can be better spent for both of you."

“Permit me here to interrupt you, mother. Whatever you may have seen in me; she,—I mean Lucy,—has never been in the slightest hurry to be married;—that’s all. But I shall regard it as a lapsus-lingua in you.”

“Let me interrupt you for a moment, mom. No matter what you might have noticed about me; she—I mean Lucy—has never really rushed into getting married; that’s all. But I’ll see it as a lapsus-lingua on your part.”

“Undoubtedly, a lapsus. But listen to me. I have been carefully observing both you and Lucy of late; and that has made me think further of the matter. Now, Pierre, if you were in any profession, or in any business at all; nay, if I were a farmer’s wife, and you my child, working in my fields; why, then, you and Lucy should still wait awhile. But as you have nothing to do but to think of Lucy by day, and dream of her by night, and as she is in the same predicament, I suppose; with respect to you; and as the consequence of all this begins to be discernible in a certain, just perceptible, and quite harmless thinness, so to speak, of the cheek; but a very conspicuous and dangerous febrileness of the eye; therefore, I choose the lesser of two evils; and now you have my permission to be married, as soon as the thing can be done with propriety. I dare say you have no objection to have the wedding take place before Christmas, the present month being the first of summer.”

“Definitely a slip-up. But hear me out. I've been observing you and Lucy closely lately, and it's got me thinking. Now, Pierre, if you had any job or were in any kind of business; even if I were a farmer’s wife and you were my child working in the fields; then you and Lucy should probably hold off for a bit. But since you only have time to think about Lucy during the day and dream about her at night, and since she’s likely in the same situation with you; and since this is clearly starting to show in a slight and harmless thinning of the cheeks, yet a very noticeable and concerning feverishness in the eyes; I’ve decided to choose the lesser of two evils. So now you have my blessing to get married as soon as it can be done appropriately. I assume you have no problem with having the wedding before Christmas, since this month is the start of summer.”

Pierre said nothing; but leaping to his feet, threw his two arms around his mother, and kissed her repeatedly.

Pierre said nothing; but jumping to his feet, he wrapped his arms around his mother and kissed her repeatedly.

“A most sweet and eloquent answer, Pierre; but sit down again. I desire now to say a little concerning less attractive, but quite necessary things connected with this affair. You know, that by your father’s will, these lands and—”

“A very sweet and eloquent answer, Pierre; but please sit down again. I want to discuss some less appealing, but quite necessary matters related to this situation. You know that according to your father’s will, these lands and—”

“Miss Lucy, my mistress;” said Dates, throwing open the door.

“Miss Lucy, my boss,” said Dates, swinging the door wide open.

Pierre sprang to his feet; but as if suddenly mindful of his mother’s presence, composed himself again, though he still approached the door.

Pierre jumped up, but as if he suddenly remembered his mother was there, he calmed down again, even though he still walked toward the door.

Lucy entered, carrying a little basket of strawberries.

Lucy walked in, holding a small basket of strawberries.

“Why, how do you do, my dear,” said Mrs. Glendinning affectionately. “This is an unexpected pleasure.”

“Why, how are you, my dear,” said Mrs. Glendinning affectionately. “This is a nice surprise.”

“Yes; and I suppose that Pierre here is a little surprised too; seeing that he was to call upon me this evening, and not I upon him before sundown. But I took a sudden fancy for a solitary stroll,—the afternoon was such a delicious one; and chancing—it was only chancing—to pass through the Locust Lane leading hither, I met the strangest little fellow, with this basket in his hand.—‘Yes, buy them, miss’—said he. ‘And how do you know I want to buy them,’ returned I, ‘I don’t want to buy them.’—‘Yes you do, miss; they ought to be twenty-six cents, but I’ll take thirteen cents, that being my shilling. I always want the odd half cent, I do. Come, I can’t wait, I have been expecting you long enough.’”

“Yes; and I guess Pierre here is a bit surprised too, since he was supposed to visit me this evening, not the other way around before sundown. But I suddenly felt like taking a walk by myself—the afternoon was just too nice. As luck would have it, I happened to pass through Locust Lane on my way here and I ran into the strangest little guy with this basket in his hand. ‘Yes, buy them, miss,’ he said. ‘And how do you know I want to buy them?’ I replied. ‘I don’t want to buy them.’ ‘Yes, you do, miss; they should be twenty-six cents, but I’ll take thirteen cents since that’s my shilling. I always want the odd half cent, I do. Come on, I can’t wait; I’ve been expecting you long enough.’”

“A very sagacious little imp,” laughed Mrs. Glendinning.

“A very clever little imp,” laughed Mrs. Glendinning.

“Impertinent little rascal,” cried Pierre.

“Impertinent little brat,” cried Pierre.

“And am I not now the silliest of all silly girls, to be telling you my adventures so very frankly,” smiled Lucy.

“And am I not now the silliest of all silly girls, to be telling you my adventures so very frankly,” smiled Lucy.

“No; but the most celestial of all innocents,” cried Pierre, in a rhapsody of delight. “Frankly open is the flower, that hath nothing but purity to show.”

“No; but the most heavenly of all innocents,” cried Pierre, in a fit of joy. “The flower is completely open, showing nothing but purity.”

“Now, my dear little Lucy,” said Mrs. Glendinning, “let Pierre take off your shawl, and come now and stay to tea with us. Pierre has put back the dinner so, the tea-hour will come now very soon.”

“Now, my dear little Lucy,” said Mrs. Glendinning, “let Pierre take off your shawl, and come stay for tea with us. Pierre has pushed back dinner, so tea will be ready very soon.”

“Thank you; but I can not stay this time. Look, I have forgotten my own errand; I brought these strawberries for you, Mrs. Glendinning, and for Pierre;—Pierre is so wonderfully fond of them.”

“Thanks, but I can’t stay this time. Look, I forgot what I actually came for; I brought these strawberries for you, Mrs. Glendinning, and for Pierre;—Pierre really loves them.”

“I was audacious enough to think as much,” cried Pierre, “for you and me, you see, mother; for you and me, you understand that, I hope.”

“I was bold enough to think that way,” cried Pierre, “for you and me, you see, mother; for you and me, I hope you understand that.”

“Perfectly, my dear brother.”

"Perfectly, my dear brother."

Lucy blushed.

Lucy felt embarrassed.

“How warm it is, Mrs. Glendinning.”

“How warm it is, Mrs. Glendinning.”

“Very warm, Lucy. So you won’t stay to tea?”

“Very warm, Lucy. So you’re not staying for tea?”

“No, I must go now; just a little stroll, that’s all; good-bye! Now don’t be following me, Pierre. Mrs. Glendinning, will you keep Pierre back? I know you want him; you were talking over some private affair when I entered; you both looked so very confidential.”

“No, I have to go now; just a quick walk, that’s all; goodbye! Please don’t follow me, Pierre. Mrs. Glendinning, can you hold Pierre back? I know you want him; you were discussing something private when I walked in; you both looked very secretive.”

“And you were not very far from right, Lucy,” said Mrs. Glendinning, making no sign to stay her departure.

“And you were pretty close, Lucy,” said Mrs. Glendinning, showing no intention of stopping her departure.

“Yes, business of the highest importance,” said Pierre, fixing his eyes upon Lucy significantly.

“Yes, it’s very important,” said Pierre, looking intently at Lucy.

At this moment, Lucy just upon the point of her departure, was hovering near the door; the setting sun, streaming through the window, bathed her whole form in golden loveliness and light; that wonderful, and most vivid transparency of her clear Welsh complexion, now fairly glowed like rosy snow. Her flowing, white, blue-ribboned dress, fleecily invested her. Pierre almost thought that she could only depart the house by floating out of the open window, instead of actually stepping from the door. All her aspect to him, was that moment touched with an indescribable gayety, buoyancy, fragility, and an unearthly evanescence.

At that moment, Lucy, just about to leave, was hovering near the door; the setting sun, streaming through the window, covered her entire figure in a beautiful golden light; that remarkable and vivid clarity of her fair Welsh skin now glowed like rosy snow. Her flowing white dress with blue ribbons wrapped around her gracefully. Pierre almost thought she could leave the house by floating out of the open window instead of actually stepping through the door. Everything about her at that moment seemed to radiate an indescribable joy, lightness, delicacy, and an otherworldly elusiveness.

Youth is no philosopher. Not into young Pierre’s heart did there then come the thought, that as the glory of the rose endures but for a day, so the full bloom of girlish airiness and bewitchingness, passes from the earth almost as soon; as jealously absorbed by those frugal elements, which again incorporate that translated girlish bloom, into the first expanding flower-bud. Not into young Pierre, did there then steal that thought of utmost sadness; pondering on the inevitable evanescence of all earthly loveliness; which makes the sweetest things of life only food for ever-devouring and omnivorous melancholy. Pierre’s thought was different from this, and yet somehow akin to it.

Youth is not a philosopher. At that moment, young Pierre didn’t think that just as the beauty of a rose lasts for only a day, the full radiance of girlish charm and allure fades from the earth almost just as quickly; consumed by those frugal elements that reabsorb that transformed girlish beauty into the first budding flower. Young Pierre didn’t feel that overpowering sadness about the inevitable fading of all earthly beauty, which turns life’s sweetest experiences into fodder for ever-hungry and all-consuming melancholy. Pierre’s thoughts were different from this, yet somehow related.

This to be my wife? I that but the other day weighed an hundred and fifty pounds of solid avoirdupois;—I to wed this heavenly fleece? Methinks one husbandly embrace would break her airy zone, and she exhale upward to that heaven whence she hath hither come, condensed to mortal sight. It can not be; I am of heavy earth, and she of airy light. By heaven, but marriage is an impious thing!

This is supposed to be my wife? Just the other day, I weighed one hundred and fifty pounds of solid weight;—I am supposed to marry this heavenly being? I think one husbandly hug would break her light essence, and she would float back up to that heaven she came from, now visible to us mortals. It can't be; I am heavy and earthly, and she is light and ethereal. Honestly, marriage is a ridiculous thing!

Meanwhile, as these things ran through his soul, Mrs. Glendinning also had thinkings of her own.

Meanwhile, as these things occupied his mind, Mrs. Glendinning was also having her own thoughts.

“A very beautiful tableau,” she cried, at last, artistically turning her gay head a little sideways—“very beautiful, indeed; this, I suppose is all premeditated for my entertainment. Orpheus finding his Eurydice; or Pluto stealing Proserpine. Admirable! It might almost stand for either.”

“A really beautiful scene,” she exclaimed, finally tilting her head to the side in an artistic way—“truly beautiful, indeed; I assume this is all planned for my enjoyment. Orpheus finding his Eurydice; or Pluto abducting Proserpine. Impressive! It could almost represent either.”

“No,” said Pierre, gravely; “it is the last. Now, first I see a meaning there.” Yes, he added to himself inwardly, I am Pluto stealing Proserpine; and every accepted lover is.

"No," Pierre said seriously; "this is the last one. Now, I finally see the meaning in it." Yes, he thought to himself, I am Pluto stealing Proserpine; and every accepted lover is too.

“And you would be very stupid, brother Pierre, if you did not see something there,” said his mother, still that way pursuing her own different train of thought. “The meaning thereof is this: Lucy has commanded me to stay you; but in reality she wants you to go along with her. Well, you may go as far as the porch; but then, you must return, for we have not concluded our little affair, you know. Adieu, little lady!”

“And you’d be really foolish, brother Pierre, if you didn’t notice something there,” said his mother, still lost in her own thoughts. “What it means is this: Lucy has ordered me to keep you here, but she actually wants you to go with her. Well, you can go as far as the porch; but then you must come back, because we haven’t finished our little discussion, you know. Goodbye, little lady!”

There was ever a slight degree of affectionate patronizing in the manner of the resplendent, full-blown Mrs. Glendinning, toward the delicate and shrinking girlhood of young Lucy. She treated her very much as she might have treated some surpassingly beautiful and precocious child; and this was precisely what Lucy was. Looking beyond the present period, Mrs. Glendinning could not but perceive, that even in Lucy’s womanly maturity, Lucy would still be a child to her; because, she, elated, felt, that in a certain intellectual vigor, so to speak, she was the essential opposite of Lucy, whose sympathetic mind and person had both been cast in one mould of wondrous delicacy. But here Mrs. Glendinning was both right and wrong. So far as she here saw a difference between herself and Lucy Tartan, she did not err; but so far—and that was very far—as she thought she saw her innate superiority to her in the absolute scale of being, here she very widely and immeasurably erred. For what may be artistically styled angelicalness, this is the highest essence compatible with created being; and angelicalness hath no vulgar vigor in it. And that thing which very often prompts to the display of any vigor—which thing, in man or woman, is at bottom nothing but ambition—this quality is purely earthly, and not angelical. It is false, that any angels fell by reason of ambition. Angels never fall; and never feel ambition. Therefore, benevolently, and affectionately, and all-sincerely, as thy heart, oh, Mrs. Glendinning! now standest affected toward the fleecy Lucy; still, lady, thou dost very sadly mistake it, when the proud, double-arches of the bright breastplate of thy bosom, expand with secret triumph over one, whom thou so sweetly, but still so patronizingly stylest, The Little Lucy.

There was always a hint of affectionate condescension in the way the dazzling, fully formed Mrs. Glendinning interacted with the fragile and timid young Lucy. She treated Lucy like she would a remarkably beautiful and advanced child, which was exactly what Lucy was. Looking ahead, Mrs. Glendinning couldn’t help but see that even as Lucy matured into a woman, she would still be a child in Mrs. Glendinning's eyes; this was because Mrs. Glendinning, feeling proud, believed that in certain intellectual strength, so to speak, she was fundamentally different from Lucy, who was made of a truly delicate and sympathetic nature. But here Mrs. Glendinning was both right and wrong. In recognizing the difference between herself and Lucy Tartan, she was correct; but in thinking she possessed an inherent superiority to Lucy on a grand scale, she was dramatically mistaken. The quality that could be called angelic is the highest essence one can have while still being created, and being angelic does not involve any crude strength. What often drives one to show any strength—something that, in both men and women, is essentially just ambition—this quality is completely earthly, not angelic. It’s incorrect to say that any angels fell because of ambition. Angels do not fall; they do not know ambition. So, benevolently, affectionately, and with all sincerity, as your heart, oh, Mrs. Glendinning! now feels toward the soft-hearted Lucy; still, dear lady, you seriously misunderstand when the proud, double arches of your shining breastplate swell with secret triumph over one whom you so sweetly, yet still so patronizingly, refer to as The Little Lucy.

But ignorant of these further insights, that very superb-looking lady, now waiting Pierre’s return from the portico door, sat in a very matronly revery; her eyes fixed upon the decanter of amber-hued wine before her. Whether it was that she somehow saw some lurking analogical similitude between that remarkably slender, and gracefully cut little pint-decanter, brimfull of light, golden wine, or not, there is no absolute telling now. But really, the peculiarly, and reminiscently, and forecastingly complacent expression of her beaming and benevolent countenance, seemed a tell-tale of some conceit very much like the following:—Yes, she’s a very pretty little pint-decanter of a girl: a very pretty little Pale Sherry pint-decanter of a girl; and I—I’m a quart decanter of—of—Port—potent Port! Now, Sherry for boys, and Port for men—so I’ve heard men say; and Pierre is but a boy; but when his father wedded me,—why, his father was turned of five-and-thirty years.

But unaware of these deeper insights, that stunning lady, now waiting for Pierre to return from the doorway, sat in a thoughtful daze; her eyes fixed on the decanter of amber wine in front of her. Whether she somehow perceived a hidden resemblance between that elegantly slender, beautifully shaped little pint-decander, filled with bright, golden wine, is hard to say now. However, the uniquely nostalgic and anticipating smile on her warm and kind face seemed to reveal a thought quite like this: Yes, she’s a lovely little pint-decander of a girl: a lovely little Pale Sherry pint-decander of a girl; and I—I’m a quart decanter of—of—Port—strong Port! Now, Sherry is for boys, and Port is for men—so I’ve heard men say; and Pierre is just a boy; but when his father married me,—well, his father was over thirty-five years old.

After a little further waiting for him, Mrs. Glendinning heard Pierre’s voice—“Yes, before eight o’clock at least, Lucy—no fear;” and then the hall door banged, and Pierre returned to her.

After a bit more waiting for him, Mrs. Glendinning heard Pierre’s voice—“Yes, before eight o’clock at least, Lucy—don’t worry;” and then the hall door slammed shut, and Pierre came back to her.

But now she found that this unforeseen visit of Lucy had completely routed all business capacity in her mercurial son; fairly capsizing him again into, there was no telling what sea of pleasant pensiveness.

But now she realized that Lucy's unexpected visit had completely thrown off her unpredictable son; it had tipped him back into some unknown sea of pleasant daydreaming.

“Dear me! some other time, sister Mary.”

“Wow! Maybe another time, sister Mary.”

“Not this time; that is very certain, Pierre. Upon my word I shall have to get Lucy kidnapped, and temporarily taken out of the country, and you handcuffed to the table, else there will be no having a preliminary understanding with you, previous to calling in the lawyers. Well, I shall yet manage you, one way or other. Good-bye, Pierre; I see you don’t want me now. I suppose I shan’t see you till to-morrow morning. Luckily, I have a very interesting book to read. Adieu!”

“Not this time; that’s for sure, Pierre. Honestly, I’ll have to arrange for Lucy to be kidnapped and taken out of the country temporarily, and you handcuffed to the table, otherwise we won’t be able to have a preliminary understanding before involving the lawyers. But I will figure out a way to manage you, one way or another. Goodbye, Pierre; I can tell you don’t want to see me right now. I guess I won’t see you until tomorrow morning. Fortunately, I have a really interesting book to read. Goodbye!”

But Pierre remained in his chair; his gaze fixed upon the stilly sunset beyond the meadows, and far away to the now golden hills. A glorious, softly glorious, and most gracious evening, which seemed plainly a tongue to all humanity, saying: I go down in beauty to rise in joy; Love reigns throughout all worlds that sunsets visit; it is a foolish ghost story; there is no such thing as misery. Would Love, which is omnipotent, have misery in his domain? Would the god of sunlight decree gloom? It is a flawless, speckless, fleckless, beautiful world throughout; joy now, and joy forever!

But Pierre stayed in his chair, his gaze fixed on the calm sunset beyond the meadows, and far away to the now golden hills. It was a glorious, softly glorious, and gracious evening, which seemed to be saying to all humanity: I go down in beauty to rise in joy; Love reigns throughout all worlds touched by sunsets; it's a silly ghost story; there’s no such thing as misery. Would Love, which is all-powerful, allow misery in its realm? Would the god of sunlight command gloom? It’s a flawless, spotless, beautiful world everywhere; joy now, and joy forever!

Then the face, which before had seemed mournfully and reproachfully looking out upon him from the effulgent sunset’s heart; the face slid from him; and left alone there with his soul’s joy, thinking that that very night he would utter the magic word of marriage to his Lucy; not a happier youth than Pierre Glendinning sat watching that day’s sun go down.

Then the face, which before had seemed sadly and accusingly looking out at him from the bright sunset; the face slipped away from him; and left alone there with his soul’s joy, thinking that that very night he would say the magic word of marriage to his Lucy; not a happier young man than Pierre Glendinning sat watching the day’s sun go down.


IV.

AFTER this morning of gayety, this noon of tragedy, and this evening so full of chequered pensiveness; Pierre now possessed his soul in joyful mildness and steadfastness; feeling none of that wild anguish of anticipative rapture, which, in weaker minds, too often dislodges Love’s sweet bird from her nest.

AFTER this morning of joy, this noon of tragedy, and this evening filled with mixed thoughts; Pierre now held onto his soul with joyful calmness and determination, feeling none of that wild anxiety of excited anticipation, which, in weaker minds, too often drives Love’s sweet bird from her nest.

The early night was warm, but dark—for the moon was not risen yet—and as Pierre passed on beneath the pendulous canopies of the long arms of the weeping elms of the village, an almost impenetrable blackness surrounded him, but entered not the gently illuminated halls of his heart. He had not gone very far, when in the distance beyond, he noticed a light moving along the opposite side of the road, and slowly approaching. As it was the custom for some of the more elderly, and perhaps timid inhabitants of the village, to carry a lantern when going abroad of so dark a night, this object conveyed no impression of novelty to Pierre; still, as it silently drew nearer and nearer, the one only distinguishable thing before him, he somehow felt a nameless presentiment that the light must be seeking him. He had nearly gained the cottage door, when the lantern crossed over toward him; and as his nimble hand was laid at last upon the little wicket-gate, which he thought was now to admit him to so much delight; a heavy hand was laid upon himself, and at the same moment, the lantern was lifted toward his face, by a hooded and obscure-looking figure, whose half-averted countenance he could but indistinctly discern. But Pierre’s own open aspect, seemed to have been quickly scrutinized by the other.

The early night was warm but dark—the moon hadn’t risen yet—and as Pierre walked under the drooping branches of the village’s weeping elms, he was surrounded by almost impenetrable darkness, but it didn't penetrate the softly lit halls of his heart. He hadn’t gone very far when he noticed a light moving along the other side of the road, slowly approaching. Since it was common for some of the older, perhaps timid villagers to carry a lantern on such a dark night, the sight didn’t seem new to Pierre; still, as it silently came closer and closer, the only thing he could see ahead of him, he had a strange feeling that the light was somehow looking for him. He was almost at the cottage door when the lantern moved toward him; just as his quick hand reached the little gate he thought would lead him to so much joy, a heavy hand was placed on him, and at the same moment, the lantern was lifted toward his face by a hooded, shadowy figure, whose face he could only make out vaguely. But it seemed like the other person quickly examined Pierre’s open expression.

“I have a letter for Pierre Glendinning,” said the stranger, “and I believe this is he.” At the same moment, a letter was drawn forth, and sought his hand.

“I have a letter for Pierre Glendinning,” said the stranger, “and I think this is him.” At the same time, a letter was taken out and reached for his hand.

“For me!” exclaimed Pierre, faintly, starting at the strangeness of the encounter;—“methinks this is an odd time and place to deliver your mail;—who are you?—Stay!”

“For me!” Pierre exclaimed weakly, surprised by the oddness of the encounter. “I think this is a strange time and place to deliver your mail; who are you?—Wait!”

But without waiting an answer, the messenger had already turned about, and was re-crossing the road. In the first impulse of the moment, Pierre stept forward, and would have pursued him; but smiling at his own causeless curiosity and trepidation, paused again; and softly turned over the letter in his hand. What mysterious correspondent is this, thought he, circularly moving his thumb upon the seal; no one writes me but from abroad; and their letters come through the office; and as for Lucy—pooh!—when she herself is within, she would hardly have her notes delivered at her own gate. Strange! but I’ll in, and read it;—no, not that;—I come to read again in her own sweet heart—that dear missive to me from heaven,—and this impertinent letter would pre-occupy me. I’ll wait till I go home.

But without waiting for an answer, the messenger had already turned around and was crossing the road again. In a spur-of-the-moment feeling, Pierre stepped forward and almost chased him, but then smiled at his own needless curiosity and anxiety, paused again, and lightly turned the letter over in his hand. What mysterious correspondent is this, he thought, moving his thumb on the seal; no one writes to me except from abroad, and their letters go through the office; and as for Lucy—pfft!—when she’s here, she wouldn’t even have her notes delivered at her own gate. Strange! But I’ll go in and read it;—no, not that;—I’m here to read once more in her own sweet heart—that dear message to me from heaven,—and this annoying letter would distract me. I’ll wait until I get home.

He entered the gate, and laid his hand upon the cottage knocker. Its sudden coolness caused a slight, and, at any other time, an unaccountable sympathetic sensation in his hand. To his unwonted mood, the knocker seemed to say—“Enter not!—Begone, and first read thy note.”

He walked through the gate and put his hand on the cottage knocker. Its unexpected coolness created a strange, almost unexplainable feeling in his hand. To his unusual state of mind, the knocker seemed to say, “Don’t come in! Go away, and read your note first.”

Yielding now, half alarmed, and half bantering with himself, to these shadowy interior monitions, he half-unconsciously quitted the door; repassed the gate; and soon found himself retracing his homeward path.

Yielding now, half alarmed and half joking with himself, to these shadowy inner thoughts, he half-unconsciously left the door; went back through the gate; and soon found himself heading home.

He equivocated with himself no more; the gloom of the air had now burst into his heart, and extinguished its light; then, first in all his life, Pierre felt the irresistible admonitions and intuitions of Fate.

He no longer hesitated; the darkness in the air had now seeped into his heart and snuffed out its light. For the first time in his life, Pierre felt the undeniable warnings and instincts of Fate.

He entered the hall unnoticed, passed up to his chamber, and hurriedly locking the door in the dark, lit his lamp. As the summoned flame illuminated the room, Pierre, standing before the round center-table, where the lamp was placed, with his hand yet on the brass circle which regulated the wick, started at a figure in the opposite mirror. It bore the outline of Pierre, but now strangely filled with features transformed, and unfamiliar to him; feverish eagerness, fear, and nameless forebodings of ill! He threw himself into a chair, and for a time vainly struggled with the incomprehensible power that possessed him. Then, as he avertedly drew the letter from his bosom, he whispered to himself—Out on thee, Pierre! how sheepish now will ye feel when this tremendous note will turn out to be an invitation to a supper to-morrow night; quick, fool, and write the stereotyped reply: Mr. Pierre Glendinning will be very happy to accept Miss so and so’s polite invitation.

He entered the hall without being noticed, went up to his room, and quickly locked the door in the dark before lighting his lamp. As the flame lit up the room, Pierre stood in front of the round center table where the lamp was placed, his hand still on the brass knob that controlled the wick. He was startled by a figure in the mirror across the room. It looked like him but had features that were strangely transformed and unfamiliar; he saw feverish eagerness, fear, and an unsettling sense of dread! He

Still for the moment he held the letter averted. The messenger had so hurriedly accosted him, and delivered his duty, that Pierre had not yet so much as gained one glance at the superscription of the note. And now the wild thought passed through his mind of what would be the result, should he deliberately destroy the note, without so much as looking at the hand that had addressed it. Hardly had this half-crazy conceit fully made itself legible in his soul, when he was conscious of his two hands meeting in the middle of the sundered note! He leapt from his chair—By heaven! he murmured, unspeakably shocked at the intensity of that mood which had caused him unwittingly as it were, to do for the first time in his whole life, an act of which he was privately ashamed. Though the mood that was on him was none of his own willful seeking; yet now he swiftly felt conscious that he had perhaps a little encouraged it, through that certain strange infatuation of fondness, which the human mind, however vigorous, sometimes feels for any emotion at once novel and mystical. Not willingly, at such times—never mind how fearful we may be—do we try to dissolve the spell which seems, for the time, to admit us, all astonished, into the vague vestibule of the spiritual worlds.

Still for the moment, he held the letter away from him. The messenger had approached him so hurriedly and delivered his message so quickly that Pierre hadn’t even gotten a chance to see who the note was from. Now, a reckless thought crossed his mind about what would happen if he just destroyed the note without looking at the name on it. Hardly had that wild idea taken hold of him when he realized his hands were already meeting in the middle of the torn note! He jumped up from his chair—"Good heavens!" he murmured, utterly shocked at how intense his feelings had been, making him unknowingly do something for the first time in his life that he was secretly ashamed of. Although this feeling wasn’t something he sought out on purpose, he was now acutely aware that he might have slightly encouraged it, thanks to a strange infatuation that the human mind sometimes has for emotions that are both new and mysterious, even if they are a bit daunting. We rarely try to break the spell that seems to, for a brief moment, lead us into the bewildering entrance of spiritual realms.

Pierre now seemed distinctly to feel two antagonistic agencies within him; one of which was just struggling into his consciousness, and each of which was striving for the mastery; and between whose respective final ascendencies, he thought he could perceive, though but shadowly, that he himself was to be the only umpire. One bade him finish the selfish destruction of the note; for in some dark way the reading of it would irretrievably entangle his fate. The other bade him dismiss all misgivings; not because there was no possible ground for them, but because to dismiss them was the manlier part, never mind what might betide. This good angel seemed mildly to say—Read, Pierre, though by reading thou may’st entangle thyself, yet may’st thou thereby disentangle others. Read, and feel that best blessedness which, with the sense of all duties discharged, holds happiness indifferent. The bad angel insinuatingly breathed—Read it not, dearest Pierre; but destroy it, and be happy. Then, at the blast of his noble heart, the bad angel shrunk up into nothingness; and the good one defined itself clearer and more clear, and came nigher and more nigh to him, smiling sadly but benignantly; while forth from the infinite distances wonderful harmonies stole into his heart; so that every vein in him pulsed to some heavenly swell.

Pierre now felt two opposing forces within him; one of which was just emerging into his awareness, and each was vying for control. He thought he could see, albeit faintly, that he himself would be the ultimate judge between them. One urged him to complete the selfish act of destroying the note; in some unclear way, reading it would completely intertwine his fate. The other urged him to dismiss all doubts; not because they were unfounded, but because pushing them aside was the braver choice, regardless of what might happen. This good angel seemed to gently say—Read, Pierre; even if reading might entangle you, you may also help others by doing so. Read, and experience the true happiness that comes from fulfilling all your duties, feeling indifferent to your own troubles. The bad angel slyly whispered—Don’t read it, dear Pierre; just destroy it and be happy. Then, with the strength of his noble heart, the bad angel vanished into nothingness; and the good one became clearer, drawing closer to him, smiling sadly but kindly; while from the vast distances, beautiful harmonies flowed into his heart, causing every vein in him to pulse with a heavenly rhythm.


V.

“The name at the end of this letter will be wholly strange to thee. Hitherto my existence has been utterly unknown to thee. This letter will touch thee and pain thee. Willingly would I spare thee, but I can not. My heart bears me witness, that did I think that the suffering these lines would give thee, would, in the faintest degree, compare with what mine has been, I would forever withhold them.

“The name at the end of this letter will be completely unfamiliar to you. Until now, my existence has been entirely unknown to you. This letter will affect you and hurt you. I would gladly spare you this pain, but I can't. My heart tells me that if I thought the suffering these words would cause you would, even in the slightest way, compare to what I have endured, I would keep them to myself forever.”

“Pierre Glendinning, thou art not the only child of thy father; in the eye of the sun, the hand that traces this is thy sister’s; yes, Pierre, Isabel calls thee her brother—her brother! oh, sweetest of words, which so often I have thought to myself, and almost deemed it profanity for an outcast like me to speak or think. Dearest Pierre, my brother, my own father’s child! art thou an angel, that thou canst overleap all the heartless usages and fashions of a banded world, that will call thee fool, fool, fool! and curse thee, if thou yieldest to that heavenly impulse which alone can lead thee to respond to the long tyrannizing, and now at last unquenchable yearnings of my bursting heart? Oh, my brother!

“Pierre Glendinning, you are not the only child of your father; in the light of the sun, the hand that writes this belongs to your sister; yes, Pierre, Isabel calls you her brother—her brother! Oh, sweetest of words, which I have often thought to myself, and sometimes felt like it was wrong for an outcast like me to say or even think. Dearest Pierre, my brother, my own father’s child! Are you an angel, that you can surpass all the cold customs and trends of a united world that will call you fool, fool, fool! and curse you if you give in to that heavenly urge which alone can make you respond to the long oppressive, and now finally unquenchable yearnings of my aching heart? Oh, my brother!

“But, Pierre Glendinning, I will be proud with thee. Let not my hapless condition extinguish in me, the nobleness which I equally inherit with thee. Thou shall not be cozened, by my tears and my anguish, into any thing which thy most sober hour will repent. Read no further. If it suit thee, burn this letter; so shalt thou escape the certainty of that knowledge, which, if thou art now cold and selfish, may hereafter, in some maturer, remorseful, and helpless hour, cause thee a poignant upbraiding. No, I shall not, I will not implore thee.—Oh, my brother, my dear, dear Pierre,—help me, fly to me; see, I perish without thee;—pity, pity,—here I freeze in the wide, wide world;—no father, no mother, no sister, no brother, no living thing in the fair form of humanity, that holds me dear. No more, oh no more, dear Pierre, can I endure to be an outcast in the world, for which the dear Savior died. Fly to me, Pierre;—nay, I could tear what I now write,—as I have torn so many other sheets, all written for thy eye, but which never reached thee, because in my distraction, I knew not how to write to thee, nor what to say to thee; and so, behold again how I rave.

“But, Pierre Glendinning, I will be proud to be with you. Don’t let my unfortunate situation take away the nobility that I share with you. You shouldn’t be fooled by my tears and pain into doing something that you’ll regret during your most sober moments. Don’t read any further. If you want, burn this letter; that way you can avoid the certainty of knowledge that, if you’re cold and selfish now, may later cause you deep regret when you’re older and more remorseful. No, I won’t beg you.—Oh, my brother, my dear, dear Pierre,—please help me, come to me; look, I’m perishing without you;—have mercy, have mercy,—here I am, freezing in this vast, empty world;—no father, no mother, no sister, no brother, no living soul who cares for me. No more, oh no more, dear Pierre, can I stand to be an outcast in the world for which our dear Savior died. Come to me, Pierre;—I could tear up what I’m writing now,—just as I’ve torn up so many other pages, all meant for your eyes, but which never reached you, because in my confusion, I didn’t know how to write to you, or what to say to you; and so, here I am again, losing my mind.”

“Nothing more; I will write no more;—silence becomes this grave;—the heart-sickness steals over me, Pierre, my brother.

“Nothing more; I will write no more;—silence suits this grave;—the heartache washes over me, Pierre, my brother.

“Scarce know I what I have written. Yet will I write thee the fatal line, and leave all the rest to thee, Pierre, my brother.—She that is called Isabel Banford dwells in the little red farm-house, three miles from the village, on the slope toward the lake. To-morrow night-fall—not before—not by day, not by day, Pierre.

“Honestly, I have no idea what I’ve written. But I will give you the crucial line and leave everything else to you, Pierre, my brother. The one called Isabel Banford lives in the little red farmhouse, three miles from the village, on the slope toward the lake. Tomorrow nightfall—not before—not during the day, not during the day, Pierre."

THY SISTER, ISABEL.

“THY SISTER, ISABEL.


VI.

THIS letter, inscribed in a feminine, but irregular hand, and in some places almost illegible, plainly attesting the state of the mind which had dictated it;—stained, too, here and there, with spots of tears, which chemically acted upon by the ink, assumed a strange and reddish hue—as if blood and not tears had dropped upon the sheet;—and so completely torn in two by Pierre’s own hand, that it indeed seemed the fit scroll of a torn, as well as bleeding heart;—this amazing letter, deprived Pierre for the time of all lucid and definite thought or feeling. He hung half-lifeless in his chair; his hand, clutching the letter, was pressed against his heart, as if some assassin had stabbed him and fled; and Pierre was now holding the dagger in the wound, to stanch the outgushing of the blood.

This letter, written in a feminine yet irregular handwriting, and in some places almost unreadable, clearly reflected the state of mind that produced it; stained, too, here and there, with spots of tears that chemically reacted with the ink, taking on a strange reddish hue—as if blood and not tears had fallen onto the page;—and so completely torn in two by Pierre’s own hand, that it indeed appeared to be the perfect scroll of a torn, as well as bleeding heart;—this astonishing letter left Pierre devoid of any clear or definite thoughts or feelings for the moment. He sat half-unconscious in his chair; his hand, clutching the letter, pressed against his heart, as if some attacker had stabbed him and fled; and Pierre was now holding the dagger in the wound, trying to stop the blood from flowing.

Ay, Pierre, now indeed art thou hurt with a wound, never to be completely healed but in heaven; for thee, the before undistrusted moral beauty of the world is forever fled; for thee, thy sacred father is no more a saint; all brightness hath gone from thy hills, and all peace from thy plains; and now, now, for the first time, Pierre, Truth rolls a black billow through thy soul! Ah, miserable thou, to whom Truth, in her first tides, bears nothing but wrecks!

Ah, Pierre, you really are hurt with a wound that will never fully heal except in heaven; for you, the once trusted moral beauty of the world is gone forever; for you, your sacred father is no longer a saint; all brightness has vanished from your hills, and all peace from your plains; and now, for the first time, Pierre, Truth brings a dark wave through your soul! Oh, how miserable you are, to whom Truth, in her first waves, brings nothing but wreckage!

The perceptible forms of things; the shapes of thoughts; the pulses of life, but slowly came back to Pierre. And as the mariner, shipwrecked and cast on the beach, has much ado to escape the recoil of the wave that hurled him there; so Pierre long struggled, and struggled, to escape the recoil of that anguish, which had dashed him out of itself, upon the beach of his swoon.

The visible forms of things; the shapes of thoughts; the rhythms of life slowly returned to Pierre. Just like a mariner, shipwrecked and washed ashore, struggles to get away from the waves that brought him there, Pierre fought hard to escape the pull of that anguish, which had thrown him out of himself, onto the shore of his faint.

But man was not made to succumb to the villain Woe. Youth is not young and a wrestler in vain. Pierre staggeringly rose to his feet; his wide eyes fixed, and his whole form in a tremble.

But man was not meant to give in to the evil Woe. Youth is not naive and a fighter for no reason. Pierre staggered and rose to his feet; his wide eyes focused, and his whole body trembling.

“Myself am left, at least,” he slowly and half-chokingly murmured. “With myself I front thee! Unhand me all fears, and unlock me all spells! Henceforth I will know nothing but Truth; glad Truth, or sad Truth; I will know what is, and do what my deepest angel dictates.—The letter!—Isabel,—sister,—brother,—me, me—my sacred father!—This is some accursed dream!—nay, but this paper thing is forged,—a base and malicious forgery, I swear;—Well didst thou hide thy face from me, thou vile lanterned messenger, that didst accost me on the threshold of Joy, with this lying warrant of Woe! Doth Truth come in the dark, and steal on us, and rob us so, and then depart, deaf to all pursuing invocations? If this night, which now wraps my soul, be genuine as that which now wraps this half of the world; then Fate, I have a choice quarrel with thee. Thou art a palterer and a cheat; thou hast lured me on through gay gardens to a gulf. Oh! falsely guided in the days of my Joy, am I now truly led in this night of my grief?—I will be a raver, and none shall stay me! I will lift my hand in fury, for am I not struck? I will be bitter in my breath, for is not this cup of gall? Thou Black Knight, that with visor down, thus confrontest me, and mockest at me; Lo! I strike through thy helm, and will see thy face, be it Gorgon!—Let me go, ye fond affections; all piety leave me;—I will be impious, for piety hath juggled me, and taught me to revere, where I should spurn. From all idols, I tear all veils; henceforth I will see the hidden things; and live right out in my own hidden life!—Now I feel that nothing but Truth can move me so. This letter is not a forgery. Oh! Isabel, thou art my sister; and I will love thee, and protect thee, ay, and own thee through all. Ah! forgive me, ye heavens, for my ignorant ravings, and accept this my vow.—Here I swear myself Isabel’s. Oh! thou poor castaway girl, that in loneliness and anguish must have long breathed that same air, which I have only inhaled for delight; thou who must even now be weeping, and weeping, cast into an ocean of uncertainty as to thy fate, which heaven hath placed in my hands; sweet Isabel! would I not be baser than brass, and harder, and colder than ice, if I could be insensible to such claims as thine? Thou movest before me, in rainbows spun of thy tears! I see thee long weeping, and God demands me for thy comforter; and comfort thee, stand by thee, and fight for thee, will thy leapingly-acknowledging brother, whom thy own father named Pierre!”

"I'm left all alone," he murmured slowly, his voice choked with emotion. "It's just me facing you! Get rid of all my fears and set me free from all these spells! From now on, I want nothing but the Truth; whether it's happy Truth or sad Truth; I want to know what is real, and do what my deepest conscience tells me to do.—The letter!—Isabel,—sister,—brother,—me, me—my beloved father!—This must be a terrible dream!—No, this paper is forged— a cruel and wicked forgery, I swear;—You did well to hide your face from me, you wicked messenger, who confronted me at the threshold of Joy with this deceitful warrant of Sorrow! Does Truth come in the dark, sneak up on us, rob us like this, and then leave while ignoring all our calls? If this night, which now surrounds my soul, is as real as this half of the world; then Fate, I have a serious issue with you. You're a deceiver and a fraud; you lured me through beautiful gardens to a cliff. Oh! Misguided during my joyful days, am I now truly led in this night of my sorrow?—I will scream, and no one will stop me! I will raise my hand in fury, for have I not been struck? I will be bitter, for is this not a cup of poison? You, Black Knight, who face me with your visor down and mock me; Look! I will strike through your helmet and see your face, even if it's a monster!—Let me go, you tender feelings; leave me all piety;—I will be irreverent, for piety has deceived me and taught me to respect what I should reject. From all idols, I tear away all veils; from now on, I will see the hidden truths and live fully in my own hidden life!—Now I realize that only Truth can move me like this. This letter is not a forgery. Oh! Isabel, you are my sister; and I will love you and protect you, yes, and acknowledge you through everything. Ah! forgive me, heavens, for my ignorant outbursts, and accept this vow of mine.—Here I swear myself to Isabel. Oh! poor lost girl, who in loneliness and anguish must have long breathed the same air that I’ve only enjoyed; you who must be weeping now, cast into an ocean of uncertainty about your fate, which heaven has placed in my hands; sweet Isabel! How could I be less than base and colder than ice if I were insensible to your needs? You appear before me, vibrant with colors spun from your tears! I see you crying for a long time, and God demands that I be your comforter; and I will comfort you, stand by you, and fight for you, your eagerly acknowledging brother, whom your own father named Pierre!"

He could not stay in his chamber: the house contracted to a nut-shell around him; the walls smote his forehead; bare-headed he rushed from the place, and only in the infinite air, found scope for that boundless expansion of his life.

He couldn't stay in his room: the house felt like it was closing in on him; the walls pressed against his forehead; bare-headed, he ran from the place, and only in the open sky did he find the space for the limitless expansion of his life.

BOOK IV.
RETROSPECTIVE.

I.

IN their precise tracings-out and subtile causations, the strongest and fieriest emotions of life defy all analytical insight. We see the cloud, and feel its bolt; but meteorology only idly essays a critical scrutiny as to how that cloud became charged, and how this bolt so stuns. The metaphysical writers confess, that the most impressive, sudden, and overwhelming event, as well as the minutest, is but the product of an infinite series of infinitely involved and untraceable foregoing occurrences. Just so with every motion of the heart. Why this cheek kindles with a noble enthusiasm; why that lip curls in scorn; these are things not wholly imputable to the immediate apparent cause, which is only one link in the chain; but to a long line of dependencies whose further part is lost in the mid-regions of the impalpable air.

IN their precise outlines and subtle causes, the strongest and most intense emotions of life defy all analytical understanding. We see the storm cloud and feel its lightning, but meteorology can only vaguely attempt to analyze how that cloud became electrified and how this lightning strikes us so powerfully. Philosophers admit that even the most striking, sudden, and overwhelming events, along with the smallest ones, are merely products of an infinite series of complex and untraceable preceding events. The same goes for every feeling of the heart. Why does this cheek flush with noble excitement? Why does that lip curl in disdain? These reactions can't be fully attributed to the immediate visible cause, which is only one link in the chain; they stem from a long line of influences whose further details are lost in the vastness of the intangible air.

Idle then would it be to attempt by any winding way so to penetrate into the heart, and memory, and inmost life, and nature of Pierre, as to show why it was that a piece of intelligence which, in the natural course of things, many amiable gentlemen, both young and old, have been known to receive with a momentary feeling of surprise, and then a little curiosity to know more, and at last an entire unconcern; idle would it be, to attempt to show how to Pierre it rolled down on his soul like melted lava, and left so deep a deposit of desolation, that all his subsequent endeavors never restored the original temples to the soil, nor all his culture completely revived its buried bloom.

It would be pointless to try to figure out the heart, memory, inner life, and nature of Pierre in any roundabout way, just to explain why a piece of news that many polite gentlemen, young and old, usually receive with a brief moment of surprise followed by a bit of curiosity and then complete indifference, hit Pierre like melted lava on his soul, leaving such a deep mark of desolation that none of his later efforts could ever bring back the original beauty of the land, nor could all his attempts fully revive its buried life.

But some random hints may suffice to deprive a little of its strangeness, that tumultuous mood, into which so small a note had thrown him.

But some random hints might be enough to take away a bit of its strangeness, that chaotic mood that such a small note had thrown him into.

There had long stood a shrine in the fresh-foliaged heart of Pierre, up to which he ascended by many tableted steps of remembrance; and around which annually he had hung fresh wreaths of a sweet and holy affection. Made one green bower of at last, by such successive votive offerings of his being; this shrine seemed, and was indeed, a place for the celebration of a chastened joy, rather than for any melancholy rites. But though thus mantled, and tangled with garlands, this shrine was of marble—a niched pillar, deemed solid and eternal, and from whose top radiated all those innumerable sculptured scrolls and branches, which supported the entire one-pillared temple of his moral life; as in some beautiful gothic oratories, one central pillar, trunk-like, upholds the roof. In this shrine, in this niche of this pillar, stood the perfect marble form of his departed father; without blemish, unclouded, snow-white, and serene; Pierre’s fond personification of perfect human goodness and virtue. Before this shrine, Pierre poured out the fullness of all young life’s most reverential thoughts and beliefs. Not to God had Pierre ever gone in his heart, unless by ascending the steps of that shrine, and so making it the vestibule of his abstractest religion.

There had long been a shrine in the vibrant heart of Pierre, which he climbed by many step-like stones of memory; and around which he had annually hung fresh wreaths of a sweet and sacred affection. Finally transformed into one green bower by these ongoing tributes of his life, this shrine felt, and truly was, a place for celebrating a gentle joy rather than for any sad rituals. But even though it was adorned and tangled with garlands, this shrine was made of marble—a solid and everlasting pillar, from whose top radiated countless sculptured scrolls and branches, which supported the whole single-pillar temple of his moral life; similar to how, in beautiful gothic chapels, one central pillar supports the roof. In this shrine, in this niche of the pillar, stood the perfect marble figure of his late father; flawless, unclouded, snow-white, and serene; Pierre’s cherished representation of pure human goodness and virtue. Before this shrine, Pierre expressed the fullness of all youthful life’s deepest thoughts and beliefs. Pierre had never turned to God in his heart, unless it was by climbing the steps of that shrine, making it the entrance to his most abstract religion.

Blessed and glorified in his tomb beyond Prince Mausolus is that mortal sire, who, after an honorable, pure course of life, dies, and is buried, as in a choice fountain, in the filial breast of a tender-hearted and intellectually appreciative child. For at that period, the Solomonic insights have not poured their turbid tributaries into the pure-flowing well of the childish life. Rare preservative virtue, too, have those heavenly waters. Thrown into that fountain, all sweet recollections become marbleized; so that things which in themselves were evanescent, thus became unchangeable and eternal. So, some rare waters in Derbyshire will petrify birds’-nests. But if fate preserves the father to a later time, too often the filial obsequies are less profound; the canonization less ethereal. The eye-expanded boy perceives, or vaguely thinks he perceives, slight specks and flaws in the character he once so wholly reverenced.

Blessed and honored in his tomb beyond Prince Mausolus is that mortal father, who, after a noble and virtuous life, dies and is buried, much like a precious source, in the loving heart of a caring and perceptive child. At that time, the wisdom of Solomon hasn't muddied the clear stream of a child's life. Those heavenly waters also hold a rare, protective quality. Once thrown into that source, all sweet memories become eternal; things that were fleeting are transformed into something lasting. Just like some rare waters in Derbyshire can turn bird nests to stone. But if fate allows the father to live longer, the child's mourning often lacks depth; the reverence becomes less exalted. The now-aware boy sees, or perhaps only vaguely senses, small flaws in the character he once idolized.

When Pierre was twelve years old, his father had died, leaving behind him, in the general voice of the world, a marked reputation as a gentleman and a Christian; in the heart of his wife, a green memory of many healthy days of unclouded and joyful wedded life, and in the inmost soul of Pierre, the impression of a bodily form of rare manly beauty and benignity, only rivaled by the supposed perfect mould in which his virtuous heart had been cast. Of pensive evenings, by the wide winter fire, or in summer, in the southern piazza, when that mystical night-silence so peculiar to the country would summon up in the minds of Pierre and his mother, long trains of the images of the past; leading all that spiritual procession, majestically and holily walked the venerated form of the departed husband and father. Then their talk would be reminiscent and serious, but sweet; and again, and again, still deep and deeper, was stamped in Pierre’s soul the cherished conceit, that his virtuous father, so beautiful on earth, was now uncorruptibly sainted in heaven. So choicely, and in some degree, secludedly nurtured, Pierre, though now arrived at the age of nineteen, had never yet become so thoroughly initiated into that darker, though truer aspect of things, which an entire residence in the city from the earliest period of life, almost inevitably engraves upon the mind of any keenly observant and reflective youth of Pierre’s present years. So that up to this period, in his breast, all remained as it had been; and to Pierre, his father’s shrine seemed spotless, and still new as the marble of the tomb of him of Arimathea.

When Pierre was twelve, his father passed away, leaving behind a strong reputation as a gentleman and a Christian; in his mother’s heart, a fond memory of their many healthy days of happy marriage, and in Pierre’s deepest being, the image of a physically striking and kind man, rivaled only by the ideal shape of his virtuous heart. On thoughtful evenings, by the large winter fire, or in the summer on the southern porch, when the unique night silence of the countryside would bring forth memories for Pierre and his mother, the beloved figure of the deceased husband and father would lead their reflections. Their conversations would be nostalgic and serious, yet sweet; and over and over again, the cherished belief grew deeper in Pierre’s soul that his virtuous father, so beautiful in life, was now perfectly sainted in heaven. Growing up somewhat sheltered and nurtured in this way, even at nineteen, Pierre had never fully been exposed to the darker but more genuine side of life that living in the city from an early age inevitably imprints on any observant and reflective young person of his age. So, up to this point, everything in his heart remained unchanged; to Pierre, his father’s shrine felt as pristine and new as the marble of the tomb of him of Arimathea.

Judge, then, how all-desolating and withering the blast, that for Pierre, in one night, stripped his holiest shrine of all over-laid bloom, and buried the mild statue of the saint beneath the prostrated ruins of the soul’s temple itself.

Judge how devastating and soul-crushing the force was that, in one night, stripped Pierre's most sacred place of all its beauty and buried the gentle statue of the saint under the collapsed ruins of his very soul.


II.

AS the vine flourishes, and the grape empurples close up to the very walls and muzzles of cannoned Ehrenbreitstein; so do the sweetest joys of life grow in the very jaws of its perils.

AS the vine thrives, and the grapes ripen right up to the walls and cannons of Ehrenbreitstein; in the same way, the greatest joys of life flourish even in the face of its dangers.

But is life, indeed, a thing for all infidel levities, and we, its misdeemed beneficiaries, so utterly fools and infatuate, that what we take to be our strongest tower of delight, only stands at the caprice of the minutest event—the falling of a leaf, the hearing of a voice, or the receipt of one little bit of paper scratched over with a few small characters by a sharpened feather? Are we so entirely insecure, that that casket, wherein we have placed our holiest and most final joy, and which we have secured by a lock of infinite deftness; can that casket be picked and desecrated at the merest stranger’s touch, when we think that we alone hold the only and chosen key?

But is life really just a playground for all kinds of foolishness, and are we, its misunderstood beneficiaries, so completely naive and obsessed that what we believe to be our greatest source of happiness only stands on the whims of the tiniest events—the fall of a leaf, the sound of a voice, or the arrival of a piece of paper marked with a few small letters written by a pointed quill? Are we so utterly vulnerable that the container where we’ve placed our deepest and most ultimate joy, which we've secured with an incredibly clever lock, can be opened and violated by the simplest stranger’s touch, when we think we alone possess the unique and special key?

Pierre! thou art foolish; rebuild—no, not that, for thy shrine still stands; it stands, Pierre, firmly stands; smellest thou not its yet undeparted, embowering bloom? Such a note as thine can be easily enough written, Pierre; impostors are not unknown in this curious world; or the brisk novelist, Pierre, will write thee fifty such notes, and so steal gushing tears from his reader’s eyes; even as thy note so strangely made thine own manly eyes so arid; so glazed, and so arid, Pierre—foolish Pierre!

Pierre! You're being foolish; rebuild—no, not that, because your shrine still stands; it stands, Pierre, firmly stands; can’t you smell its still-present, enveloping bloom? A note like yours can be written easily, Pierre; impostors aren't rare in this peculiar world; or the eager novelist, Pierre, will write you fifty such notes, and take the heartfelt tears from his readers’ eyes; just like your note so strangely made your own manly eyes dry; so glazed, and so dry, Pierre—foolish Pierre!

Oh! mock not the poniarded heart. The stabbed man knows the steel; prate not to him that it is only a tickling feather. Feels he not the interior gash? What does this blood on my vesture? and what does this pang in my soul?

Oh! don't mock the wounded heart. The man who’s been stabbed knows the pain; don’t tell him it’s just a tickling feather. Doesn’t he feel the deep cut inside? What does this blood on my clothes mean? And what’s with this ache in my soul?

And here again, not unreasonably, might invocations go up to those Three Weird Ones, that tend Life’s loom. Again we might ask them, What threads were those, oh, ye Weird Ones, that ye wove in the years foregone; that now to Pierre, they so unerringly conduct electric presentiments, that his woe is woe, his father no more a saint, and Isabel a sister indeed?

And here again, it’s reasonable to call upon those Three Weird Ones who control the threads of life. Once more, we might ask them, What threads did you weave in the years gone by, oh Weird Ones, that now lead Pierre so undeniably to electric feelings of fate, making his sorrow real, his father no longer a saint, and Isabel truly a sister?

Ah, fathers and mothers! all the world round, be heedful,—give heed! Thy little one may not now comprehend the meaning of those words and those signs, by which, in its innocent presence, thou thinkest to disguise the sinister thing ye would hint. Not now he knows; not very much even of the externals he consciously remarks; but if, in after-life, Fate puts the chemic key of the cipher into his hands; then how swiftly and how wonderfully, he reads all the obscurest and most obliterate inscriptions he finds in his memory; yea, and rummages himself all over, for still hidden writings to read. Oh, darkest lessons of Life have thus been read; all faith in Virtue been murdered, and youth gives itself up to an infidel scorn.

Oh, mothers and fathers! All around the world, pay attention—listen closely! Your little one may not understand the meaning of the words and signs you're using in their innocent presence to hide the dark things you want to hint at. Right now, they don’t know; they don’t even comprehend much of what they consciously notice. But if, later in life, fate hands them the key to understanding, they will quickly and amazingly read all the obscure and forgotten memories they have. They'll search themselves everywhere for hidden things to decipher. Oh, the darkest lessons of life have been learned this way; all trust in virtue has been shattered, and youth surrenders to a cynical disbelief.

But not thus, altogether, was it now with Pierre; yet so like, in some points, that the above true warning may not misplacedly stand.

But it wasn't entirely like that for Pierre now; yet in some ways, it was similar enough that the previous warning might still apply.

His father had died of a fever; and, as is not uncommon in such maladies, toward his end, he at intervals lowly wandered in his mind. At such times, by unobserved, but subtle arts, the devoted family attendants, had restrained his wife from being present at his side. But little Pierre, whose fond, filial love drew him ever to that bed; they heeded not innocent little Pierre, when his father was delirious; and so, one evening, when the shadows intermingled with the curtains; and all the chamber was hushed; and Pierre but dimly saw his father’s face; and the fire on the hearth lay in a broken temple of wonderful coals; then a strange, plaintive, infinitely pitiable, low voice, stole forth from the testered bed; and Pierre heard,—“My daughter! my daughter!”

His father had died of a fever, and as often happens with such illnesses, toward the end, he occasionally drifted in and out of consciousness. During those times, the devoted family caregivers subtly kept his wife away from his side without her noticing. But little Pierre, whose loving spirit always drew him to that bed, was overlooked by them when his father was delirious. So one evening, as shadows mingled with the curtains and the whole room was quiet, Pierre barely saw his father’s face; the fire in the fireplace flickered amidst the beautiful broken coals; then a strange, sad, incredibly pitiful voice quietly emerged from the canopied bed, and Pierre heard, “My daughter! my daughter!”

“He wanders again,” said the nurse.

“He's wandering again,” said the nurse.

“Dear, dear father!” sobbed the child—“thou hast not a daughter, but here is thy own little Pierre.”

“Dear, dear father!” the child cried, sobbing. “You don’t have a daughter; here is your own little Pierre.”

But again the unregardful voice in the bed was heard; and now in a sudden, pealing wail,—“My daughter!—God! God!—my daughter!”

But again the careless voice from the bed was heard; and now in a sudden, loud wail,—“My daughter!—God! God!—my daughter!”

The child snatched the dying man’s hand; it faintly grew to his grasp; but on the other side of the bed, the other hand now also emptily lifted itself and emptily caught, as if at some other childish fingers. Then both hands dropped on the sheet; and in the twinkling shadows of the evening little Pierre seemed to see, that while the hand which he held wore a faint, feverish flush, the other empty one was ashy white as a leper’s.

The child grabbed the dying man’s hand; it barely responded to his grip. But on the other side of the bed, the other hand lifted itself weakly, almost as if reaching for other small fingers. Then both hands fell onto the sheet. In the dim evening light, little Pierre seemed to notice that while the hand he was holding had a slight, feverish color, the other empty one was pale white like that of a leper.

“It is past,” whispered the nurse, “he will wander so no more now till midnight,—that is his wont.” And then, in her heart, she wondered how it was, that so excellent a gentleman, and so thoroughly good a man, should wander so ambiguously in his mind; and trembled to think of that mysterious thing in the soul, which seems to acknowledge no human jurisdiction, but in spite of the individual’s own innocent self, will still dream horrid dreams, and mutter unmentionable thoughts; and into Pierre’s awe-stricken, childish soul, there entered a kindred, though still more nebulous conceit. But it belonged to the spheres of the impalpable ether; and the child soon threw other and sweeter remembrances over it, and covered it up; and at last, it was blended with all other dim things, and imaginings of dimness; and so, seemed to survive to no real life in Pierre. But though through many long years the henbane showed no leaves in his soul; yet the sunken seed was there: and the first glimpse of Isabel’s letter caused it to spring forth, as by magic. Then, again, the long-hushed, plaintive and infinitely pitiable voice was heard,—“My daughter! my daughter!” followed by the compunctious “God! God!” And to Pierre, once again the empty hand lifted itself, and once again the ashy hand fell.

“It’s over,” whispered the nurse, “he won’t wander anymore until midnight—that’s just how he is.” And then, in her heart, she wondered how such a fine gentleman and truly good man could have such a muddled mind; it made her shudder to think about that mysterious part of the soul that seems to answer to no human control, which, despite a person’s innocent nature, still dreams terrible dreams and harbors unspeakable thoughts. Into Pierre’s wide-eyed, innocent soul came a similar, though even more unclear idea. But it belonged to the realm of the intangible; the child soon covered it with other, sweeter memories, and eventually, it blended with all the other vague things and hazy imaginings, seeming to fade away from real life for Pierre. Yet even though for many long years nothing grew in his soul, the buried seed was still there: and the first glimpse of Isabel’s letter made it spring to life as if by magic. Then, once again, the long-silent, sorrowful, and infinitely pitiable voice was heard—“My daughter! my daughter!” followed by the remorseful “God! God!” And to Pierre, once more the empty hand lifted itself, and once again, the ashy hand fell.


III.

IN the cold courts of justice the dull head demands oaths, and holy writ proofs; but in the warm halls of the heart one single, untestified memory’s spark shall suffice to enkindle such a blaze of evidence, that all the corners of conviction are as suddenly lighted up as a midnight city by a burning building, which on every side whirls its reddened brands.

IN the cold courts of justice, the dull mind requires oaths and holy texts as proof; but in the warm halls of the heart, one single, unconfirmed spark of memory is enough to ignite such a blaze of evidence that all the corners of conviction are suddenly illuminated, like a midnight city lit up by a burning building, which swirls its glowing embers in every direction.

In a locked, round-windowed closet connecting with the chamber of Pierre, and whither he had always been wont to go, in those sweetly awful hours, when the spirit crieth to the spirit, Come into solitude with me, twin-brother; come away: a secret have I; let me whisper it to thee aside; in this closet, sacred to the Tadmore privacies and repose of the sometimes solitary Pierre, there hung, by long cords from the cornice, a small portrait in oil, before which Pierre had many a time trancedly stood. Had this painting hung in any annual public exhibition, and in its turn been described in print by the casual glancing critics, they would probably have described it thus, and truthfully: “An impromptu portrait of a fine-looking, gay-hearted, youthful gentleman. He is lightly, and, as it were, airily and but grazingly seated in, or rather flittingly tenanting an old-fashioned chair of Malacca. One arm confining his hat and cane is loungingly thrown over the back of the chair, while the fingers of the other hand play with his gold watch-seal and key. The free-templed head is sideways turned, with a peculiarly bright, and care-free, morning expression. He seems as if just dropped in for a visit upon some familiar acquaintance. Altogether, the painting is exceedingly clever and cheerful; with a fine, off-handed expression about it. Undoubtedly a portrait, and no fancy-piece; and, to hazard a vague conjecture, by an amateur.”

In a locked closet with round windows connected to Pierre’s room, where he often went during those strangely beautiful moments when the spirit calls out to the soul, "Come be alone with me, twin brother; let’s go away: I have a secret; let me whisper it to you privately," there hung, suspended by long cords from the ceiling, a small oil portrait. Pierre had often stood mesmerized in front of it. If this painting had been displayed in any public exhibition and briefly reviewed by casual critics, they would probably have described it like this: “An impromptu portrait of a handsome, cheerful young man. He is lightly, almost dreamily, settled in an old-fashioned Malacca chair. One arm drapes over the back, casually holding his hat and cane, while his other hand plays with his gold watch seal and key. His head is turned to the side, sporting a bright, carefree morning expression. He looks as though he just dropped by to visit a familiar friend. Overall, the painting is exceptionally clever and cheerful, with a relaxed, effortless feel to it. Undoubtedly a real portrait, not a fantasy piece; and, to make a vague guess, likely by an amateur.”

So bright, and so cheerful then; so trim, and so young; so singularly healthful, and handsome; what subtile element could so steep this whole portrait, that, to the wife of the original, it was namelessly unpleasant and repelling? The mother of Pierre could never abide this picture which she had always asserted did signally belie her husband. Her fond memories of the departed refused to hang one single wreath around it. It is not he, she would emphatically and almost indignantly exclaim, when more urgently besought to reveal the cause for so unreasonable a dissent from the opinion of nearly all the other connections and relatives of the deceased. But the portrait which she held to do justice to her husband, correctly to convey his features in detail, and more especially their truest, and finest, and noblest combined expression; this portrait was a much larger one, and in the great drawing-room below occupied the most conspicuous and honorable place on the wall.

So bright and cheerful then; so neat and young; so uniquely healthy and good-looking; what subtle element could overshadow this entire portrait, making it inexplicably unpleasant and off-putting to the original's wife? Pierre's mother could never stand this picture, which she always claimed misrepresented her husband. Her fond memories of him wouldn't allow even a single garland around it. "It's not him," she would insist, almost indignantly, when pressed to explain her unreasonable disagreement with almost all the other family members and relatives of the deceased. But the portrait she believed truly captured her husband—accurately reflecting his features in detail, and especially their truest, finest, and noblest combined expression—was a much larger one, occupying the most prominent and respected spot on the wall in the grand drawing-room below.

Even to Pierre these two paintings had always seemed strangely dissimilar. And as the larger one had been painted many years after the other, and therefore brought the original pretty nearly within his own childish recollections; therefore, he himself could not but deem it by far the more truthful and life-like presentation of his father. So that the mere preference of his mother, however strong, was not at all surprising to him, but rather coincided with his own conceit. Yet not for this, must the other portrait be so decidedly rejected. Because, in the first place, there was a difference in time, and some difference of costume to be considered, and the wide difference of the styles of the respective artiste, and the wide difference of those respective, semi-reflected, ideal faces, which, even in the presence of the original, a spiritual artist will rather choose to draw from than from the fleshy face, however brilliant and fine. Moreover, while the larger portrait was that of a middle-aged, married man, and seemed to possess all the nameless and slightly portly tranquillities, incident to that condition when a felicitous one; the smaller portrait painted a brisk, unentangled, young bachelor, gayly ranging up and down in the world; light-hearted, and a very little bladish perhaps; and charged to the lips with the first uncloying morning fullness and freshness of life. Here, certainly, large allowance was to be made in any careful, candid estimation of these portraits. To Pierre this conclusion had become well-nigh irresistible, when he placed side by side two portraits of himself; one taken in his early childhood, a frocked and belted boy of four years old; and the other, a grown youth of sixteen. Except an indestructible, all-surviving something in the eyes and on the temples, Pierre could hardly recognize the loud-laughing boy in the tall, and pensively smiling youth. If a few years, then, can have in me made all this difference, why not in my father? thought Pierre.

Even to Pierre, these two paintings always seemed oddly different. The larger one was painted many years after the other and brought the original pretty close to his own childhood memories; therefore, he could only view it as a much more accurate and lifelike depiction of his father. So, his mother's strong preference for it didn't surprise him at all; it actually matched his own opinion. However, that didn't mean the other portrait should be completely dismissed. Firstly, there was a difference in time and some difference in clothing to consider, along with the significant contrast in the styles of the respective artists, and the notable difference in those idealized faces, which a spiritual artist would often prefer to portray over a real face, no matter how vibrant and refined. Additionally, while the larger portrait depicted a middle-aged, married man, showing the unnamed and slightly solid calmness that comes with a happy marriage, the smaller portrait captured a lively, carefree young bachelor briskly navigating the world; light-hearted and perhaps a little cheeky, filled to the brim with the fresh vitality of youth. In any thoughtful and honest assessment of these portraits, considerable allowances had to be made. This conclusion became nearly undeniable for Pierre when he placed two portraits of himself side by side; one taken when he was a young boy of four, dressed in a frock and belt, and the other, a sixteen-year-old youth. Aside from the indestructible something in his eyes and on his temples, Pierre could hardly recognize the laughing boy in the tall, quietly smiling young man. If a few years could create such a difference in me, why not in my father? Pierre thought.

Besides all this, Pierre considered the history, and, so to speak, the family legend of the smaller painting. In his fifteenth year, it was made a present to him by an old maiden aunt, who resided in the city, and who cherished the memory of Pierre’s father, with all that wonderful amaranthine devotion which an advanced maiden sister ever feels for the idea of a beloved younger brother, now dead and irrevocably gone. As the only child of that brother, Pierre was an object of the warmest and most extravagant attachment on the part of this lonely aunt, who seemed to see, transformed into youth once again, the likeness, and very soul of her brother, in the fair, inheriting brow of Pierre. Though the portrait we speak of was inordinately prized by her, yet at length the strict canon of her romantic and imaginative love asserted the portrait to be Pierre’s—for Pierre was not only his father’s only child, but his namesake—so soon as Pierre should be old enough to value aright so holy and inestimable a treasure. She had accordingly sent it to him, trebly boxed, and finally covered with a water-proof cloth; and it was delivered at Saddle Meadows, by an express, confidential messenger, an old gentleman of leisure, once her forlorn, because rejected gallant, but now her contented, and chatty neighbor. Henceforth, before a gold-framed and gold-lidded ivory miniature,—a fraternal gift—aunt Dorothea now offered up her morning and her evening rites, to the memory of the noblest and handsomest of brothers. Yet an annual visit to the far closet of Pierre—no slight undertaking now for one so stricken in years, and every way infirm—attested the earnestness of that strong sense of duty, that painful renunciation of self, which had induced her voluntarily to part with the precious memorial.

Besides all this, Pierre reflected on the history and, so to speak, the family legend of the smaller painting. When he turned fifteen, it was given to him by an old maiden aunt who lived in the city. She held dear the memory of Pierre's father, with a kind of everlasting devotion that a devoted sister feels for a beloved younger brother who has passed away. As the only child of that brother, Pierre became the focus of a deep and extravagant affection from this lonely aunt, who seemed to see, transformed into youthful form, the likeness and spirit of her brother in Pierre's fair, inheriting features. Although she cherished the portrait immensely, in time, the strict rules of her romantic and imaginative love declared that the portrait truly belonged to Pierre—since he was not only his father’s only child but also his namesake—as soon as he was old enough to appreciate such a sacred and priceless treasure. She had therefore sent it to him, carefully boxed and finally covered with a waterproof cloth; it was delivered at Saddle Meadows by an express, confidential messenger, an old gentleman who had once been her rejected suitor but was now her cheerful and chatty neighbor. From then on, before a gold-framed and gold-lidded ivory miniature—a brotherly gift—Aunt Dorothea offered her morning and evening rituals in memory of the noblest and handsomest of brothers. Yet an annual visit to Pierre's far closet—no small task for someone so advanced in age and infirm—demonstrated the strength of her sense of duty and the painful self-sacrifice that had led her to willingly part with the cherished memento.


IV.

“Tell me, aunt,” the child Pierre had early said to her, long before the portrait became his—“tell me, aunt, how this chair-portrait, as you call it, was painted;—who painted it?—whose chair was this?—have you the chair now?—I don’t see it in your room here;—what is papa looking at so strangely?—I should like to know now, what papa was thinking of, then. Do, now, dear aunt, tell me all about this picture, so that when it is mine, as you promise me, I shall know its whole history.”

“Tell me, Aunt,” the child Pierre had asked her early on, long before the portrait became his—“Tell me, Aunt, how was this chair-portrait, as you call it, painted? Who painted it? Whose chair was this? Do you still have the chair? I don’t see it in your room here. What is Dad looking at so strangely? I’d really like to know what Dad was thinking back then. Please, dear Aunt, tell me everything about this picture, so that when it’s mine, as you promised, I’ll know its entire story.”

“Sit down, then, and be very still and attentive, my dear child,” said aunt Dorothea; while she a little averted her head, and tremulously and inaccurately sought her pocket, till little Pierre cried—“Why, aunt, the story of the picture is not in any little book, is it, that you are going to take out and read to me?”

“Sit down and be very still and listen closely, my dear child,” said Aunt Dorothea, slightly turning her head as she nervously fumbled around in her pocket until little Pierre exclaimed, “Aunt, the story of the picture isn’t in any little book you’re about to take out and read to me, is it?”

“My handkerchief, my child.”

“My handkerchief, my kid.”

“Why, aunt, here it is, at your elbow; here, on the table; here, aunt; take it, do; Oh, don’t tell me any thing about the picture, now; I won’t hear it.”

“Why, Aunt, here it is, right next to you; here, on the table; here, Aunt; take it, please. Oh, don’t tell me anything about the picture now; I don’t want to hear it.”

“Be still, my darling Pierre,” said his aunt, taking the handkerchief, “draw the curtain a little, dearest; the light hurts my eyes. Now, go into the closet, and bring me my dark shawl;—take your time.—There; thank you, Pierre; now sit down again, and I will begin.—The picture was painted long ago, my child; you were not born then.”

“Be quiet, my dear Pierre,” his aunt said, taking the handkerchief. “Could you please pull the curtain a bit, sweetheart? The light is bothering my eyes. Now, go to the closet and get me my dark shawl; take your time. There; thank you, Pierre. Now sit down again, and I’ll start. The picture was painted a long time ago, my child; you weren't born then.”

“Not born?” cried little Pierre.

"Not born?" exclaimed little Pierre.

“Not born,” said his aunt.

"Not born," his aunt said.

“Well, go on, aunt; but don’t tell me again that once upon a time I was not little Pierre at all, and yet my father was alive. Go on, aunt,—do, do!”

“Well, go on, aunt; but don’t tell me again that there was a time when I wasn’t little Pierre at all, and yet my father was alive. Go on, aunt—please, do!”

“Why, how nervous you are getting, my child;—Be patient; I am very old, Pierre; and old people never like to be hurried.”

“Wow, you’re getting really nervous, my child;—Be patient; I’m quite old, Pierre; and older people never like to be rushed.”

“Now, my own dear Aunt Dorothea, do forgive me this once, and go on with your story.”

“Now, my dear Aunt Dorothea, please forgive me this time and continue with your story.”

“When your poor father was quite a young man, my child, and was on one of his long autumnal visits to his friends in this city, he was rather intimate at times with a cousin of his, Ralph Winwood, who was about his own age,—a fine youth he was, too, Pierre.”

“When your poor father was still a young man, my child, and was on one of his long autumn visits to friends in this city, he spent some time with a cousin of his, Ralph Winwood, who was about his age—a really great guy, too, Pierre.”

“I never saw him, aunt; pray, where is he now?” interrupted Pierre;—“does he live in the country, now, as mother and I do?”

“I never saw him, aunt; please, where is he now?” interrupted Pierre;—“does he live in the countryside now, like my mom and I do?”

“Yes, my child; but a far-away, beautiful country, I hope;—he’s in heaven, I trust.”

“Yes, my child; but I hope it’s a beautiful country far away;—he’s in heaven, I believe.”

“Dead,” sighed little Pierre—“go on, aunt.”

“Dead,” sighed little Pierre—“keep going, aunt.”

“Now, cousin Ralph had a great love for painting, my child; and he spent many hours in a room, hung all round with pictures and portraits; and there he had his easel and brushes; and much liked to paint his friends, and hang their faces on his walls; so that when all alone by himself, he yet had plenty of company, who always wore their best expressions to him, and never once ruffled him, by ever getting cross or ill-natured, little Pierre. Often, he had besought your father to sit to him; saying, that his silent circle of friends would never be complete, till your father consented to join them. But in those days, my child, your father was always in motion. It was hard for me to get him to stand still, while I tied his cravat; for he never came to any one but me for that. So he was always putting off, and putting off cousin Ralph. ‘Some other time, cousin; not to-day;—to-morrow, perhaps;—or next week;’—and so, at last cousin Ralph began to despair. But I’ll catch him yet, cried sly cousin Ralph. So now he said nothing more to your father about the matter of painting him; but every pleasant morning kept his easel and brushes and every thing in readiness; so as to be ready the first moment your father should chance to drop in upon him from his long strolls; for it was now and then your father’s wont to pay flying little visits to cousin Ralph in his painting-room.—But, my child, you may draw back the curtain now—it’s getting very dim here, seems to me.”

“Now, cousin Ralph had a great love for painting, my child; and he spent many hours in a room filled with pictures and portraits. There, he had his easel and brushes, and he enjoyed painting his friends, hanging their faces on his walls. So, when he was alone, he still had plenty of company, who always wore their best expressions and never bothered him by getting angry or in a bad mood, little Pierre. He often asked your father to model for him, saying that his silent circle of friends wouldn't be complete until your father joined them. But back then, my child, your father was always on the move. It was hard for me to get him to stand still while I tied his cravat because he only came to me for that. So, he kept putting off cousin Ralph. ‘Some other time, cousin; not today;—maybe tomorrow;—or next week;’—and so, cousin Ralph began to lose hope. But I’ll catch him yet, sly cousin Ralph said. So now he stopped mentioning painting your father, but every nice morning, he kept his easel, brushes, and everything ready, waiting for the first moment your father might drop by from his long walks; for sometimes, your father liked to make quick little visits to cousin Ralph in his painting room. —But, my child, you can draw back the curtain now—it’s getting very dim here, it seems to me.”

“Well, I thought so all along, aunt,” said little Pierre, obeying; “but didn’t you say the light hurt your eyes.”

“Well, I thought so all along, aunt,” said little Pierre, obeying; “but didn’t you say the light hurt your eyes?”

“But it does not now, little Pierre.”

“But it doesn’t now, little Pierre.”

“Well, well; go on, go on, aunt; you can’t think how interested I am,” said little Pierre, drawing his stool close up to the quilted satin hem of his good Aunt Dorothea’s dress.

“Well, well; go on, go on, Aunt; you can’t imagine how interested I am,” said little Pierre, scooting his stool up close to the quilted satin hem of his dear Aunt Dorothea’s dress.

“I will, my child. But first let me tell you, that about this time there arrived in the port, a cabin-full of French emigrants of quality;—poor people, Pierre, who were forced to fly from their native land, because of the cruel, blood-shedding times there. But you have read all that in the little history I gave you, a good while ago.”

“I will, my child. But first let me tell you, around this time, a boatload of French emigrants of high status arrived at the port—unfortunate people, Pierre, who had to escape from their homeland because of the brutal, bloody times there. But you’ve read all about it in the little history I gave you some time ago.”

“I know all about it;—the French Revolution,” said little Pierre.

“I know all about it—the French Revolution,” said little Pierre.

“What a famous little scholar you are, my dear child,”—said Aunt Dorothea, faintly smiling—“among those poor, but noble emigrants, there was a beautiful young girl, whose sad fate afterward made a great noise in the city, and made many eyes to weep, but in vain, for she never was heard of any more.”

“What a famous little scholar you are, my dear child,” Aunt Dorothea said with a faint smile. “Among those poor but noble emigrants, there was a beautiful young girl whose tragic fate later caused quite a stir in the city and made many people weep, but their tears were in vain, as she was never heard from again.”

“How? how? aunt;—I don’t understand;—did she disappear then, aunt?”

“How? How? Aunt; I don’t get it; did she vanish then, Aunt?”

“I was a little before my story, child. Yes, she did disappear, and never was heard of again; but that was afterward, some time afterward, my child. I am very sure it was; I could take my oath of that, Pierre.”

“I was a bit ahead of my story, kid. Yes, she did vanish and was never seen again; but that happened later, some time later, my child. I’m quite sure of that; I could swear to it, Pierre.”

“Why, dear aunt,” said little Pierre, “how earnestly you talk—after what? your voice is getting very strange; do now;—don’t talk that way; you frighten me so, aunt.”

“Why, dear aunt,” said little Pierre, “you’re speaking so seriously—about what? Your voice is sounding really odd; please—stop talking like that; you’re scaring me, aunt.”

“Perhaps it is this bad cold I have to-day; it makes my voice a little hoarse, I fear, Pierre. But I will try and not talk so hoarsely again. Well, my child, some time before this beautiful young lady disappeared, indeed it was only shortly after the poor emigrants landed, your father made her acquaintance; and with many other humane gentlemen of the city, provided for the wants of the strangers, for they were very poor indeed, having been stripped of every thing, save a little trifling jewelry, which could not go very far. At last, the friends of your father endeavored to dissuade him from visiting these people so much; they were fearful that as the young lady was so very beautiful, and a little inclined to be intriguing—so some said—your father might be tempted to marry her; which would not have been a wise thing in him; for though the young lady might have been very beautiful, and good-hearted, yet no one on this side the water certainly knew her history; and she was a foreigner; and would not have made so suitable and excellent a match for your father as your dear mother afterward did, my child. But, for myself, I—who always knew your father very well in all his intentions, and he was very confidential with me, too—I, for my part, never credited that he would do so unwise a thing as marry the strange young lady. At any rate, he at last discontinued his visits to the emigrants; and it was after this that the young lady disappeared. Some said that she must have voluntarily but secretly returned into her own country; and others declared that she must have been kidnapped by French emissaries; for, after her disappearance, rumor began to hint that she was of the noblest birth, and some ways allied to the royal family; and then, again, there were some who shook their heads darkly, and muttered of drownings, and other dark things; which one always hears hinted when people disappear, and no one can find them. But though your father and many other gentlemen moved heaven and earth to find trace of her, yet, as I said before, my child, she never re-appeared.”

“Maybe it’s this bad cold I have today; it makes my voice a bit hoarse, I’m afraid, Pierre. But I’ll try not to talk so hoarsely again. Well, my dear, some time before this beautiful young lady vanished, actually it was only shortly after the poor immigrants arrived, your father met her; and along with many other kind gentlemen in the city, he helped provide for the needs of the strangers, who were really very poor, having lost everything except for a little bit of inexpensive jewelry, which wouldn’t last long. Eventually, your father’s friends tried to convince him to stop visiting these people so often; they were worried that since the young lady was so beautiful, and a bit prone to intrigue—at least that’s what some said—your father might be tempted to marry her; which wouldn’t have been wise for him; because even though the young lady might have been very lovely and kind-hearted, no one on this side of the water really knew her background; and she was a foreigner; and wouldn’t have made as suitable a match for your father as your dear mother did later, my child. But as for me, I—who always knew your father well and he confided in me a lot—I personally never believed he would do something so foolish as marry the strange young lady. In any case, he eventually stopped visiting the immigrants; and it was after that that the young lady disappeared. Some said she must have secretly returned to her country on her own; others claimed she must have been kidnapped by French agents; because after she vanished, rumors started suggesting she was of noble birth, somehow connected to the royal family; and then there were those who ominously shook their heads and whispered about drownings and other sinister things, which you often hear when people go missing and no one can find them. But even though your father and many other gentlemen moved heaven and earth to track her down, as I mentioned before, my child, she never came back.”

“The poor French lady!” sighed little Pierre. “Aunt, I’m afraid she was murdered.”

“The poor French lady!” sighed little Pierre. “Aunt, I’m worried she was murdered.”

“Poor lady, there is no telling,” said his aunt. “But listen, for I am coming to the picture again. Now, at the time your father was so often visiting the emigrants, my child, cousin Ralph was one of those who a little fancied that your father was courting her; but cousin Ralph being a quiet young man, and a scholar, not well acquainted with what is wise, or what is foolish in the great world; cousin Ralph would not have been at all mortified had your father really wedded with the refugee young lady. So vainly thinking, as I told you, that your father was courting her, he fancied it would be a very fine thing if he could paint your father as her wooer; that is, paint him just after his coming from his daily visits to the emigrants. So he watched his chance; every thing being ready in his painting-room, as I told you before; and one morning, sure enough, in dropt your father from his walk. But before he came into the room, cousin Ralph had spied him from the window; and when your father entered, cousin Ralph had the sitting-chair ready drawn out, back of his easel, but still fronting toward him, and pretended to be very busy painting. He said to your father—‘Glad to see you, cousin Pierre; I am just about something here; sit right down there now, and tell me the news; and I’ll sally out with you presently. And tell us something of the emigrants, cousin Pierre,’ he slyly added—wishing, you see, to get your father’s thoughts running that supposed wooing way, so that he might catch some sort of corresponding expression you see, little Pierre.”

“Poor lady, who knows,” said his aunt. “But listen, I want to get back to the story. At the time your father was frequently visiting the emigrants, my child, cousin Ralph thought for a bit that your father was interested in her. However, cousin Ralph was a quiet young man and a scholar, not really clued in on what’s wise or foolish in the real world; he wouldn’t have been at all bothered if your father had actually married the refugee young lady. Thinking, as I mentioned, that your father was courting her, he thought it would be great to paint your father as her suitor; that is, to paint him just after he returned from his daily visits to the emigrants. So he waited for the right moment; everything was set up in his painting room, as I told you before; and one morning, sure enough, your father came in from his walk. But before he entered the room, cousin Ralph spotted him from the window, and when your father walked in, cousin Ralph had the chair pulled out, positioned behind his easel but still facing toward him, and pretended to be very busy painting. He said to your father, ‘Glad to see you, cousin Pierre; I’m working on something here; sit down right there now and tell me the news; I’ll join you shortly. And tell us something about the emigrants, cousin Pierre,’ he slyly added—hoping to steer your father’s thoughts toward that supposed courting so he could catch some sort of expression, you see, little Pierre.”

“I don’t know that I precisely understand, aunt; but go on, I am so interested; do go on, dear aunt.”

“I’m not sure I completely understand, aunt, but please continue; I’m really interested. Do keep going, dear aunt.”

“Well, by many little cunning shifts and contrivances, cousin Ralph kept your father there sitting, and sitting in the chair, rattling and rattling away, and so self-forgetful too, that he never heeded that all the while sly cousin Ralph was painting and painting just as fast as ever he could; and only making believe laugh at your father’s wit; in short, cousin Ralph was stealing his portrait, my child.”

"Well, with a lot of clever tricks and schemes, cousin Ralph kept your dad sitting there, just chatting away, so lost in thought that he didn’t notice that sly cousin Ralph was painting as fast as he could. He was only pretending to laugh at your dad’s jokes; in short, cousin Ralph was stealing his portrait, my child."

“Not stealing it, I hope,” said Pierre, “that would be very wicked.”

“Not stealing it, I hope,” said Pierre, “that would be really wrong.”

“Well, then, we won’t call it stealing, since I am sure that cousin Ralph kept your father all the time off from him, and so, could not have possibly picked his pocket, though indeed, he slyly picked his portrait, so to speak. And if indeed it was stealing, or any thing of that sort; yet seeing how much comfort that portrait has been to me, Pierre, and how much it will yet be to you, I hope; I think we must very heartily forgive cousin Ralph, for what he then did.”

"Well, we won’t call it stealing since I'm sure cousin Ralph kept your father away from him all the time and couldn't have possibly taken his money. Although, he did sneak away with his portrait, so to speak. And even if it was stealing or something like that, considering how much comfort that portrait has brought me, Pierre, and how much it will still bring you, I think we should wholeheartedly forgive cousin Ralph for what he did."

“Yes, I think we must indeed,” chimed in little Pierre, now eagerly eying the very portrait in question, which hung over the mantle.

“Yes, I think we really should,” added little Pierre, now eagerly looking at the exact portrait in question, which was hanging over the mantle.

“Well, by catching your father two or three times more in that way, cousin Ralph at last finished the painting; and when it was all framed, and every way completed, he would have surprised your father by hanging it boldly up in his room among his other portraits, had not your father one morning suddenly come to him—while, indeed, the very picture itself was placed face down on a table and cousin Ralph fixing the cord to it—came to him, and frightened cousin Ralph by quietly saying, that now that he thought of it, it seemed to him that cousin Ralph had been playing tricks with him; but he hoped it was not so. ‘What do you mean?’ said cousin Ralph, a little flurried. ‘You have not been hanging my portrait up here, have you, cousin Ralph?’ said your father, glancing along the walls. ‘I’m glad I don’t see it. It is my whim, cousin Ralph,—and perhaps it is a very silly one,—but if you have been lately painting my portrait, I want you to destroy it; at any rate, don’t show it to any one, keep it out of sight. What’s that you have there, cousin Ralph?’

“Well, after catching your father a couple more times like that, cousin Ralph finally finished the painting. Once it was all framed and ready, he would have surprised your father by hanging it confidently in his room with his other portraits, if your father hadn’t suddenly come to him one morning—right when the very picture was face down on a table and cousin Ralph was attaching the cord to it. Your father came and startled cousin Ralph by calmly saying that now that he thought about it, it seemed like cousin Ralph had been playing tricks on him; but he hoped that wasn't the case. ‘What do you mean?’ asked cousin Ralph, a bit flustered. ‘You haven’t hung my portrait up here, have you, cousin Ralph?’ your father said as he glanced along the walls. ‘I’m glad I don’t see it. It’s just my quirk, cousin Ralph—and maybe it’s a silly one—but if you’ve been painting my portrait lately, I want you to destroy it; at least don’t show it to anyone, keep it out of sight. What’s that you have there, cousin Ralph?’”

“Cousin Ralph was now more and more fluttered; not knowing what to make—as indeed, to this day, I don’t completely myself—of your father’s strange manner. But he rallied, and said—‘This, cousin Pierre, is a secret portrait I have here; you must be aware that we portrait-painters are sometimes called upon to paint such. I, therefore, can not show it to you, or tell you any thing about it.’

“Cousin Ralph was getting more and more anxious, not knowing what to think—honestly, I still don’t fully understand it myself—about your father’s strange behavior. But he pulled himself together and said, ‘This, cousin Pierre, is a secret portrait I have here; you should know that we portrait painters occasionally get asked to create such things. So, I can’t show it to you or tell you anything about it.’”

“‘Have you been painting my portrait or not, cousin Ralph?’ said your father, very suddenly and pointedly.

“‘Have you been painting my portrait or not, cousin Ralph?’ your father asked abruptly and directly.”

“‘I have painted nothing that looks as you there look,’ said cousin Ralph, evasively, observing in your father’s face a fierce-like expression, which he had never seen there before. And more than that, your father could not get from him.”

“I haven’t painted anything that looks like how you look right now,” said cousin Ralph, dodging the question, noticing a fierce expression on your father's face that he had never seen before. And beyond that, your father couldn’t get anything more from him.

“And what then?” said little Pierre.

“And what now?” said little Pierre.

“Why not much, my child; only your father never so much as caught one glimpse of that picture; indeed, never knew for certain, whether there was such a painting in the world. Cousin Ralph secretly gave it to me, knowing how tenderly I loved your father; making me solemnly promise never to expose it anywhere where your father could ever see it, or any way hear of it. This promise I faithfully kept; and it was only after your dear father’s death, that I hung it in my chamber. There, Pierre, you now have the story of the chair-portrait.”

“Not much, my child; your father never caught sight of that picture and never knew for sure if it even existed. Cousin Ralph secretly gave it to me, knowing how much I cared for your father, and made me promise not to show it to anyone where your father could see it or hear about it. I kept that promise faithfully, and it was only after your dear father's death that I hung it in my room. So, Pierre, that's the story of the chair-portrait.”

“And a very strange one it is,” said Pierre—“and so interesting, I shall never forget it, aunt.”

“And it's a really odd one,” said Pierre, “and so fascinating, I’ll never forget it, aunt.”

“I hope you never will, my child. Now ring the bell, and we will have a little fruit-cake, and I will take a glass of wine, Pierre;—do you hear, my child?—the bell—ring it. Why, what do you do standing there, Pierre?”

“I hope you never do, my child. Now ring the bell, and we’ll have a little fruitcake, and I’ll have a glass of wine, Pierre;—do you hear me, my child?—the bell—ring it. What are you doing just standing there, Pierre?”

Why didn’t papa want to have cousin Ralph paint his picture, aunt?”

Why didn’t dad want cousin Ralph to paint his picture, aunt?”

“How these children’s minds do run!” exclaimed old aunt Dorothea staring at little Pierre in amazement—“That indeed is more than I can tell you, little Pierre. But cousin Ralph had a foolish fancy about it. He used to tell me, that being in your father’s room some few days after the last scene I described, he noticed there a very wonderful work on Physiognomy, as they call it, in which the strangest and shadowiest rules were laid down for detecting people’s innermost secrets by studying their faces. And so, foolish cousin Ralph always flattered himself, that the reason your father did not want his portrait taken was, because he was secretly in love with the French young lady, and did not want his secret published in a portrait; since the wonderful work on Physiognomy had, as it were, indirectly warned him against running that risk. But cousin Ralph being such a retired and solitary sort of a youth, he always had such curious whimsies about things. For my part, I don’t believe your father ever had any such ridiculous ideas on the subject. To be sure, I myself can not tell you why he did not want his picture taken; but when you get to be as old as I am, little Pierre, you will find that every one, even the best of us, at times, is apt to act very queerly and unaccountably; indeed some things we do, we can not entirely explain the reason of, even to ourselves, little Pierre. But you will know all about these strange matters by and by.”

“How these kids' minds do run!” exclaimed old Aunt Dorothea, staring at little Pierre in amazement. “That’s definitely more than I can tell you, little Pierre. But cousin Ralph had a silly idea about it. He used to tell me that a few days after the last scene I described, while in your father’s room, he spotted a fascinating book on physiognomy, as they call it, which laid out some strange and vague rules for figuring out people’s deepest secrets by studying their faces. So, foolish cousin Ralph always convinced himself that the reason your dad didn’t want his portrait taken was that he was secretly in love with the French young lady and didn’t want that secret exposed in a portrait; since that amazing book on physiognomy had, in a way, warned him against taking that risk. But cousin Ralph being such a reserved and solitary type, he always had these curious whims about things. For my part, I don’t think your dad ever had any such ridiculous thoughts on the matter. Of course, I can’t tell you *why* he didn’t want his picture taken; but when you reach my age, little Pierre, you’ll find that everyone, even the best of us, sometimes acts really strangely and unexplainably; in fact, there are things we do that we can’t fully explain to ourselves, even little Pierre. But you’ll understand all these strange matters in time.”

“I hope I shall, aunt,” said little Pierre—“But, dear aunt, I thought Marten was to bring in some fruit-cake?”

“I hope I will, aunt,” said little Pierre—“But, dear aunt, I thought Marten was supposed to bring in some fruitcake?”

“Ring the bell for him, then, my child.”

“Ring the bell for him, then, my child.”

“Oh! I forgot,” said little Pierre, doing her bidding.

“Oh! I forgot,” said little Pierre, following her instructions.

By-and-by, while the aunt was sipping her wine; and the boy eating his cake, and both their eyes were fixed on the portrait in question; little Pierre, pushing his stool nearer the picture exclaimed—“Now, aunt, did papa really look exactly like that? Did you ever see him in that same buff vest, and huge-figured neckcloth? I remember the seal and key, pretty well; and it was only a week ago that I saw mamma take them out of a little locked drawer in her wardrobe—but I don’t remember the queer whiskers; nor the buff vest; nor the huge white-figured neckcloth; did you ever see papa in that very neckcloth, aunt?”

After a while, while the aunt was sipping her wine and the boy was eating his cake, both of them were staring at the portrait in question. Little Pierre, scooting his stool closer to the picture, exclaimed, “Now, aunt, did dad really look exactly like that? Did you ever see him wearing that same buff vest and that big patterned neckcloth? I remember the seal and key pretty well; it was only a week ago that I saw Mom take them out of a little locked drawer in her wardrobe. But I don't remember the strange whiskers, the buff vest, or the big white patterned neckcloth. Did you ever see dad in that exact neckcloth, aunt?”

“My child, it was I that chose the stuff for that neckcloth; yes, and hemmed it for him, and worked P. G. in one corner; but that aint in the picture. It is an excellent likeness, my child, neckcloth and all; as he looked at that time. Why, little Pierre, sometimes I sit here all alone by myself, gazing, and gazing, and gazing at that face, till I begin to think your father is looking at me, and smiling at me, and nodding at me, and saying—Dorothea! Dorothea!”

“My child, I was the one who picked out the fabric for that necktie; yes, and I also hemmed it for him and stitched P. G. in one corner; but that isn’t in the picture. It’s a great likeness, my child, necktie and all; just how he looked at that time. Sometimes, little Pierre, I sit here all alone, staring and staring at that face until I start to feel like your father is looking at me, smiling at me, and nodding at me, saying—Dorothea! Dorothea!”

“How strange,” said little Pierre, “I think it begins to look at me now, aunt. Hark! aunt, it’s so silent all round in this old-fashioned room, that I think I hear a little jingling in the picture, as if the watch-seal was striking against the key—Hark! aunt.”

“How strange,” said little Pierre, “I think it’s starting to look at me now, aunt. Listen! Aunt, it’s so quiet all around in this old-fashioned room that I think I hear a little jingling in the picture, as if the watch seal is hitting against the key—Listen! Aunt.”

“Bless me, don’t talk so strangely, my child.”

“Please, don’t talk like that, my child.”

“I heard mamma say once—but she did not say so to me—that, for her part, she did not like aunt Dorothea’s picture; it was not a good likeness, so she said. Why don’t mamma like the picture, aunt?”

“I heard mom say once—but she didn’t say it to me—that, for her part, she didn’t like Aunt Dorothea’s picture; it wasn’t a good likeness, that’s what she said. Why doesn’t mom like the picture, Aunt?”

“My child, you ask very queer questions. If your mamma don’t like the picture, it is for a very plain reason. She has a much larger and finer one at home, which she had painted for herself; yes, and paid I don’t know how many hundred dollars for it; and that, too, is an excellent likeness, that must be the reason, little Pierre.”

“My child, you ask very strange questions. If your mom doesn’t like the picture, it’s for a very simple reason. She has a much bigger and nicer one at home that she had painted for herself; yes, and she paid I don’t know how many hundred dollars for it; and that one is also an excellent likeness, that must be the reason, little Pierre.”

And thus the old aunt and the little child ran on; each thinking the other very strange; and both thinking the picture still stranger; and the face in the picture still looked at them frankly, and cheerfully, as if there was nothing kept concealed; and yet again, a little ambiguously and mockingly, as if slyly winking to some other picture, to mark what a very foolish old sister, and what a very silly little son, were growing so monstrously grave and speculative about a huge white-figured neckcloth, a buff vest, and a very gentleman-like and amiable countenance.

And so the old aunt and the little child kept running, each thinking the other was very strange, and both finding the picture even stranger. The face in the picture looked back at them openly and cheerfully, as if nothing was being hidden; yet it also had a slightly ambiguous and teasing quality, almost like it was slyly winking at another picture, pointing out how foolish the old sister and how silly the little boy were becoming so seriously thoughtful about a large white necktie, a buff vest, and a very gentlemanly and friendly expression.

And so, after this scene, as usual, one by one, the fleet years ran on; till the little child Pierre had grown up to be the tall Master Pierre, and could call the picture his own; and now, in the privacy of his own little closet, could stand, or lean, or sit before it all day long, if he pleased, and keep thinking, and thinking, and thinking, and thinking, till by-and-by all thoughts were blurred, and at last there were no thoughts at all.

And so, after this moment, as usual, one by one, the fast years went by; until the little child Pierre had grown up to be tall Master Pierre, and could claim the picture as his own; and now, in the privacy of his own little closet, could stand, lean, or sit in front of it all day long if he wanted to, thinking, thinking, thinking, and thinking, until eventually all thoughts got hazy, and finally there were no thoughts left at all.

Before the picture was sent to him, in his fifteenth year, it had been only through the inadvertence of his mother, or rather through a casual passing into a parlor by Pierre, that he had any way learned that his mother did not approve of the picture. Because, as then Pierre was still young, and the picture was the picture of his father, and the cherished property of a most excellent, and dearly-beloved, affectionate aunt; therefore the mother, with an intuitive delicacy, had refrained from knowingly expressing her peculiar opinion in the presence of little Pierre. And this judicious, though half-unconscious delicacy in the mother, had been perhaps somewhat singularly answered by a like nicety of sentiment in the child; for children of a naturally refined organization, and a gentle nurture, sometimes possess a wonderful, and often undreamed of, daintiness of propriety, and thoughtfulness, and forbearance, in matters esteemed a little subtile even by their elders, and self-elected betters. The little Pierre never disclosed to his mother that he had, through another person, become aware of her thoughts concerning Aunt Dorothea’s portrait; he seemed to possess an intuitive knowledge of the circumstance, that from the difference of their relationship to his father, and for other minute reasons, he could in some things, with the greater propriety, be more inquisitive concerning him, with his aunt, than with his mother, especially touching the matter of the chair-portrait. And Aunt Dorothea’s reasons accounting for his mother’s distaste, long continued satisfactory, or at least not unsufficiently explanatory.

Before the picture was sent to him, when he was fifteen, he had only found out that his mother didn't like the picture by accident, through a casual moment when Pierre walked into a parlor. At that time, Pierre was still young, and the picture was of his father, which was a cherished possession of his beloved and affectionate aunt. His mother, intuitively aware, chose not to express her opinion in front of little Pierre. This thoughtful restraint from his mother seemed to align with a similar sensitivity in Pierre; children who come from a refined background and gentle upbringing often have an unexpected sense of propriety and consideration that can outstrip even that of their elders. Little Pierre never told his mother that he had learned about her feelings towards Aunt Dorothea’s portrait from someone else. He seemed to instinctively understand that, because of their different relationships with his father and for other subtle reasons, he could ask more about him with his aunt than with his mother, especially regarding the portrait. Aunt Dorothea's explanations for his mother's disapproval continued to be satisfactory, or at least enough to clarify things.

And when the portrait arrived at the Meadows, it so chanced that his mother was abroad; and so Pierre silently hung it up in his closet; and when after a day or two his mother returned, he said nothing to her about its arrival, being still strangely alive to that certain mild mystery which invested it, and whose sacredness now he was fearful of violating, by provoking any discussion with his mother about Aunt Dorothea’s gift, or by permitting himself to be improperly curious concerning the reasons of his mother’s private and self-reserved opinions of it. But the first time—and it was not long after the arrival of the portrait—that he knew of his mother’s having entered his closet; then, when he next saw her, he was prepared to hear what she should voluntarily say about the late addition to its embellishments; but as she omitted all mention of any thing of that sort, he unobtrusively scanned her countenance, to mark whether any little clouding emotion might be discoverable there. But he could discern none. And as all genuine delicacies are by their nature accumulative; therefore this reverential, mutual, but only tacit forbearance of the mother and son, ever after continued uninvaded. And it was another sweet, and sanctified, and sanctifying bond between them. For, whatever some lovers may sometimes say, love does not always abhor a secret, as nature is said to abhor a vacuum. Love is built upon secrets, as lovely Venice upon invisible and incorruptible piles in the sea. Love’s secrets, being mysteries, ever pertain to the transcendent and the infinite; and so they are as airy bridges, by which our further shadows pass over into the regions of the golden mists and exhalations; whence all poetical, lovely thoughts are engendered, and drop into us, as though pearls should drop from rainbows.

And when the portrait arrived at the Meadows, it just so happened that his mother was away; so Pierre quietly hung it up in his closet. When his mother returned a day or two later, he didn’t mention it, still feeling a strange connection to the soft mystery surrounding it, and he was afraid of ruining that by discussing Aunt Dorothea’s gift or by being too curious about his mother’s private thoughts on it. But soon after the portrait arrived, he realized his mother had entered his closet; then, when he saw her next, he expected her to say something about the new addition, but since she didn't bring it up, he subtly observed her face, hoping to catch a glimpse of any subtle change in her emotions. However, he couldn’t see any. Since all genuine delicacies are naturally cumulative, this mutual, respectful silence between them continued unbroken. It became another sweet, sacred bond between them. Because, despite what some lovers might claim, love doesn't always shy away from secrets, just as nature is said to reject a vacuum. Love thrives on secrets, just like beautiful Venice stands on invisible, resilient foundations in the sea. Love’s secrets, being mysteries, relate to the transcendent and the infinite, acting as airy bridges that carry our shadows into realms of golden mists; from there, all poetic, beautiful thoughts are born and drop into us, as if pearls were falling from rainbows.

As time went on, the chasteness and pure virginity of this mutual reservation, only served to dress the portrait in sweeter, because still more mysterious attractions; and to fling, as it were, fresh fennel and rosemary around the revered memory of the father. Though, indeed, as previously recounted, Pierre now and then loved to present to himself for some fanciful solution the penultimate secret of the portrait, in so far, as that involved his mother’s distaste; yet the cunning analysis in which such a mental procedure would involve him, never voluntarily transgressed that sacred limit, where his mother’s peculiar repugnance began to shade off into ambiguous considerations, touching any unknown possibilities in the character and early life of the original. Not, that he had altogether forbidden his fancy to range in such fields of speculation; but all such imaginings must be contributory to that pure, exalted idea of his father, which, in his soul, was based upon the known acknowledged facts of his father’s life.

As time passed, the innocence and purity of their unspoken bond only made the portrait more enchanting, adding an even more mysterious allure, and surrounding the cherished memory of his father with fresh herbs like fennel and rosemary. Although, as mentioned before, Pierre occasionally enjoyed pondering a whimsical explanation for the deeper meaning behind the portrait, which involved his mother’s aversion, he never intentionally crossed that sacred boundary where his mother’s particular dislike began to blend into unclear reflections about any unknown aspects of the original's character and early life. Not that he completely restrained his imagination from exploring such speculative realms; but all such thoughts had to contribute to that pure, elevated image of his father, which, in his heart, was rooted in the well-known, established facts of his father’s life.


V.

IF, when the mind roams up and down in the ever-elastic regions of evanescent invention, any definite form or feature can be assigned to the multitudinous shapes it creates out of the incessant dissolvings of its own prior creations; then might we here attempt to hold and define the least shadowy of those reasons, which about the period of adolescence we now treat of, more frequently occurred to Pierre, whenever he essayed to account for his mother’s remarkable distaste for the portrait. Yet will we venture one sketch.

IF, when the mind wanders up and down in the ever-changing areas of fleeting ideas, if we can assign any clear form or feature to the countless shapes it makes from the constant breaking down of its own previous creations; then let’s try to capture and define the faintest of those reasons, which around the time of adolescence we are discussing, often came to Pierre’s mind whenever he tried to understand his mother’s unusual dislike for the portrait. Still, we will dare to offer one sketch.

Yes—sometimes dimly thought Pierre—who knows but cousin Ralph, after all, may have been not so very far from the truth, when he surmised that at one time my father did indeed cherish some passing emotion for the beautiful young Frenchwoman. And this portrait being painted at that precise time, and indeed with the precise purpose of perpetuating some shadowy testification of the fact in the countenance of the original: therefore, its expression is not congenial, is not familiar, is not altogether agreeable to my mother: because, not only did my father’s features never look so to her (since it was afterward that she first became acquainted with him), but also, that certain womanliness of women; that thing I should perhaps call a tender jealousy, a fastidious vanity, in any other lady, enables her to perceive that the glance of the face in the portrait, is not, in some nameless way, dedicated to herself, but to some other and unknown object; and therefore, is she impatient of it, and it is repelling to her; for she must naturally be intolerant of any imputed reminiscence in my father, which is not in some way connected with her own recollections of him.

Yes—sometimes dimly thought Pierre—who knows, maybe cousin Ralph wasn't so far off when he guessed that at one point my father really did have some fleeting feelings for the beautiful young Frenchwoman. And this portrait being painted at exactly that time, with the specific purpose of capturing some vague evidence of that fact in the original's expression: this means its expression is neither familiar nor entirely pleasing to my mother. This is because my father's features never appeared that way to her (since she met him only later), and that certain femininity women have; what I might call a gentle jealousy, a particular vanity that any other woman might have, allows her to see that the look in the portrait isn't, in some unexplainable way, meant for her, but for another unknown person. This makes her impatient with it, and it repulses her; she naturally can't tolerate any memories attributed to my father that aren't somehow tied to her own memories of him.

Whereas, the larger and more expansive portrait in the great drawing-room, taken in the prime of life; during the best and rosiest days of their wedded union; at the particular desire of my mother; and by a celebrated artist of her own election, and costumed after her own taste; and on all hands considered to be, by those who know, a singularly happy likeness at the period; a belief spiritually reinforced by my own dim infantile remembrances; for all these reasons, this drawing-room portrait possesses an inestimable charm to her; there, she indeed beholds her husband as he had really appeared to her; she does not vacantly gaze upon an unfamiliar phantom called up from the distant, and, to her, well-nigh fabulous days of my father’s bachelor life. But in that other portrait, she sees rehearsed to her fond eyes, the latter tales and legends of his devoted wedded love. Yes, I think now that I plainly see it must be so. And yet, ever new conceits come vaporing up in me, as I look on the strange chair-portrait: which, though so very much more unfamiliar to me, than it can possibly be to my mother, still sometimes seems to say—Pierre, believe not the drawing-room painting; that is not thy father; or, at least, is not all of thy father. Consider in thy mind, Pierre, whether we two paintings may not make only one. Faithful wives are ever over-fond to a certain imaginary image of their husbands; and faithful widows are ever over-reverential to a certain imagined ghost of that same imagined image, Pierre. Look again, I am thy father as he more truly was. In mature life, the world overlays and varnishes us, Pierre; the thousand proprieties and polished finenesses and grimaces intervene, Pierre; then, we, as it were, abdicate ourselves, and take unto us another self, Pierre; in youth we are, Pierre, but in age we seem. Look again. I am thy real father, so much the more truly, as thou thinkest thou recognizest me not, Pierre. To their young children, fathers are not wont to unfold themselves entirely, Pierre. There are a thousand and one odd little youthful peccadilloes, that we think we may as well not divulge to them, Pierre. Consider this strange, ambiguous smile, Pierre; more narrowly regard this mouth. Behold, what is this too ardent and, as it were, unchastened light in these eyes, Pierre? I am thy father, boy. There was once a certain, oh, but too lovely young Frenchwoman, Pierre. Youth is hot, and temptation strong, Pierre; and in the minutest moment momentous things are irrevocably done, Pierre; and Time sweeps on, and the thing is not always carried down by its stream, but may be left stranded on its bank; away beyond, in the young, green countries, Pierre. Look again. Doth thy mother dislike me for naught? Consider. Do not all her spontaneous, loving impressions, ever strive to magnify, and spiritualize, and deify, her husband’s memory, Pierre? Then why doth she cast despite upon me; and never speak to thee of me; and why dost thou thyself keep silence before her, Pierre? Consider. Is there no little mystery here? Probe a little, Pierre. Never fear, never fear. No matter for thy father now. Look, do I not smile?—yes, and with an unchangeable smile; and thus have I unchangeably smiled for many long years gone by, Pierre. Oh, it is a permanent smile! Thus I smiled to cousin Ralph; and thus in thy dear old Aunt Dorothea’s parlor, Pierre; and just so, I smile here to thee, and even thus in thy father’s later life, when his body may have been in grief, still—hidden away in Aunt Dorothea’s secretary—I thus smiled as before; and just so I’d smile were I now hung up in the deepest dungeon of the Spanish Inquisition, Pierre; though suspended in outer darkness, still would I smile with this smile, though then not a soul should be near. Consider; for a smile is the chosen vehicle for all ambiguities, Pierre. When we would deceive, we smile; when we are hatching any nice little artifice, Pierre; only just a little gratifying our own sweet little appetites, Pierre; then watch us, and out comes the odd little smile. Once upon a time, there was a lovely young Frenchwoman, Pierre. Have you carefully, and analytically, and psychologically, and metaphysically, considered her belongings and surroundings, and all her incidentals, Pierre? Oh, a strange sort of story, that, thy dear old Aunt Dorothea once told thee, Pierre. I once knew a credulous old soul, Pierre. Probe, probe a little—see—there seems one little crack there, Pierre—a wedge, a wedge. Something ever comes of all persistent inquiry; we are not so continually curious for nothing, Pierre; not for nothing, do we so intrigue and become wily diplomatists, and glozers with our own minds, Pierre; and afraid of following the Indian trail from the open plain into the dark thickets, Pierre; but enough; a word to the wise.

Whereas, the larger, more expansive portrait in the grand drawing room, taken when they were in the prime of their lives, during the happiest days of their marriage, at my mother's specific request, by a renowned artist of her choosing, and dressed according to her taste; and universally regarded by those who know as an unusually happy likeness from that time; a belief strengthened by my own faint childhood memories; for all these reasons, this drawing-room portrait holds immense charm for her; there, she truly sees her husband as he appeared to her; she does not blankly stare at a stranger conjured from the distant, almost legendary days of my father's single life. But in that other portrait, she sees revisited to her loving eyes, the later stories and legends of his devoted married love. Yes, I now clearly see that it must be so. And yet, new thoughts continuously arise in me as I look at the strange chair-portrait: which, although so much more unfamiliar to me than it could possibly be to my mother, still sometimes seems to say—Pierre, do not believe the drawing-room painting; that is not your father; or at least, it is not all of your father. Think about it, Pierre; could we not combine the two paintings into one? Faithful wives often become too attached to a certain imagined version of their husbands; and faithful widows are always overly reverential to a certain imagined ghost of that same version, Pierre. Look again, I am your father as he truly was. In adulthood, the world layers and glosses us over, Pierre; a thousand social norms and polished facades and pretenses get in the way, Pierre; we, in a sense, give up our true selves and adopt another persona, Pierre; in youth we are, Pierre, but in old age we seem. Look again. I am your real father—so much more truly, even if you think you do not recognize me, Pierre. Fathers don't usually reveal their true selves to their young children, Pierre. There are so many little youthful mischiefs that we think are better left undisclosed to them, Pierre. Consider this strange, ambiguous smile, Pierre; take a closer look at this mouth. What is that too intense and seemingly unrestrained light in these eyes, Pierre? I am your father, boy. There was once a certain, oh, but too beautiful young Frenchwoman, Pierre. Youth is passionate, and temptation is strong, Pierre; in fleeting moments, significant things happen forever, Pierre; Time moves on, and what happens isn’t always carried downstream but can be left stranded on its banks; far away in young, green lands, Pierre. Look again. Does your mother dislike me for no reason? Think about it. Don’t all her spontaneous, loving feelings strive to amplify, elevate, and idolize her husband’s memory, Pierre? Then why does she treat me with disdain; and never talk to you about me; and why do you yourself stay quiet in front of her, Pierre? Think about it. Is there not a small mystery here? Delve a little, Pierre. Don’t worry, don't worry. Forget about your father right now. Look, do I not smile?—yes, and with an unchanging smile; and I have smiled with this same unchanging smile for many long years, Pierre. Oh, it is a permanent smile! Just like I smiled at cousin Ralph; and just like in your dear old Aunt Dorothea’s parlor, Pierre; and just like this, I smile here to you, even so in your father’s later life, when his body may have been filled with grief, still—hidden away in Aunt Dorothea’s desk—I smiled just as before; and just as I would smile if I were now locked up in the deepest dungeon of the Spanish Inquisition, Pierre; even in total darkness, I would smile like this smile, even if no one were near. Think about it; for a smile is the chosen tool for all ambiguities, Pierre. When we want to deceive, we smile; when we are plotting some little trick, Pierre; just indulging our own sweet little desires, Pierre; then watch us, and that little smile comes out. Once upon a time, there was a lovely young Frenchwoman, Pierre. Have you closely, analytically, psychologically, and metaphysically examined her belongings and surroundings, and all her details, Pierre? Oh, what a strange story that your dear old Aunt Dorothea once told you, Pierre. I once knew a gullible old soul, Pierre. Delve, delve a little—see—there seems to be a small crack there, Pierre—a wedge, a wedge. Something always comes from persistent questioning; we aren’t insatiably curious for nothing, Pierre; not for nothing do we turn into crafty diplomates and smooth talkers with our own minds, Pierre; and fear to follow the Indian trail from the open plain into the dark thickets, Pierre; but enough; a word to the wise.

Thus sometimes in the mystical, outer quietude of the long country nights; either when the hushed mansion was banked round by the thick-fallen December snows, or banked round by the immovable white August moonlight; in the haunted repose of a wide story, tenanted only by himself; and sentineling his own little closet; and standing guard, as it were, before the mystical tent of the picture; and ever watching the strangely concealed lights of the meanings that so mysteriously moved to and fro within; thus sometimes stood Pierre before the portrait of his father, unconsciously throwing himself open to all those ineffable hints and ambiguities, and undefined half-suggestions, which now and then people the soul’s atmosphere, as thickly as in a soft, steady snow-storm, the snow-flakes people the air. Yet as often starting from these reveries and trances, Pierre would regain the assured element of consciously bidden and self-propelled thought; and then in a moment the air all cleared, not a snow-flake descended, and Pierre, upbraiding himself for his self-indulgent infatuation, would promise never again to fall into a midnight revery before the chair-portrait of his father. Nor did the streams of these reveries seem to leave any conscious sediment in his mind; they were so light and so rapid, that they rolled their own alluvial along; and seemed to leave all Pierre’s thought-channels as clean and dry as though never any alluvial stream had rolled there at all.

So sometimes in the mystical, quiet emptiness of the long country nights; either when the hushed mansion was surrounded by the thick layers of December snow, or surrounded by the still white light of the August moon; in the haunted calm of a large story, occupied only by himself; keeping watch over his own little space; and standing guard, so to speak, before the mystical scene of the portrait; and constantly observing the strangely hidden lights of the meanings that mysteriously moved back and forth within; so sometimes stood Pierre before the portrait of his father, unintentionally opening himself up to all those indescribable hints and ambiguities, and vague half-suggestions, which now and then fill the atmosphere of the soul, as densely as in a soft, steady snowstorm, snowflakes filling the air. Yet often breaking free from these daydreams and trances, Pierre would regain the solid ground of deliberate and self-driven thought; and then in an instant the air would clear, not a single snowflake would fall, and Pierre, scolding himself for his self-indulgent obsession, would promise never again to slip into a midnight reverie in front of his father's chair-portrait. Nor did the streams of these daydreams seem to leave any lasting marks in his mind; they were so light and so quick that they carried their own traces along; and seemed to leave all of Pierre’s thought pathways completely clean and dry as if no trace had ever passed through at all.

And so still in his sober, cherishing memories, his father’s beatification remained untouched; and all the strangeness of the portrait only served to invest his idea with a fine, legendary romance; the essence whereof was that very mystery, which at other times was so subtly and evilly significant.

And so, still in his sober, fond memories, his father’s sainthood remained unchanged; and all the oddness of the portrait only added a beautiful, legendary quality to his perception; the essence of which was that same mystery, which at other times was so subtly and wickedly meaningful.

But now, now!—Isabel’s letter read: swift as the first light that slides from the sun, Pierre saw all preceding ambiguities, all mysteries ripped open as if with a keen sword, and forth trooped thickening phantoms of an infinite gloom. Now his remotest infantile reminiscences—the wandering mind of his father—the empty hand, and the ashen—the strange story of Aunt Dorothea—the mystical midnight suggestions of the portrait itself; and, above all, his mother’s intuitive aversion, all, all overwhelmed him with reciprocal testimonies.

But now, now!—Isabel's letter said: quick as the first light that breaks from the sun, Pierre saw all the previous uncertainties, all the mysteries torn apart as if by a sharp sword, and out poured thickening shadows of endless darkness. Now his most distant childhood memories—the wandering mind of his father—the empty hand, and the ash—the strange story of Aunt Dorothea—the eerie midnight hints of the portrait itself; and, most importantly, his mother’s intuitive dislike, all, all overwhelmed him with mutual confirmations.

And now, by irresistible intuitions, all that had been inexplicably mysterious to him in the portrait, and all that had been inexplicably familiar in the face, most magically these now coincided; the merriness of the one not inharmonious with the mournfulness of the other, but by some ineffable correlativeness, they reciprocally identified each other, and, as it were, melted into each other, and thus interpenetratingly uniting, presented lineaments of an added supernaturalness.

And now, through undeniable feelings, everything that had been mysteriously puzzling to him in the portrait, and everything that had felt strangely familiar about the face, suddenly aligned; the happiness of one was not at odds with the sadness of the other. Instead, in some indescribable way, they recognized each other, blending together and creating a sense of an added otherworldliness.

On all sides, the physical world of solid objects now slidingly displaced itself from around him, and he floated into an ether of visions; and, starting to his feet with clenched hands and outstaring eyes at the transfixed face in the air, he ejaculated that wonderful verse from Dante, descriptive of the two mutually absorbing shapes in the Inferno:

On all sides, the physical world of solid objects began to fade away, and he drifted into a realm of visions. Suddenly, he jumped to his feet with clenched fists and wide eyes, staring at the frozen face in the air, and he exclaimed that beautiful line from Dante, describing the two shapes that consumed each other in the Inferno:

“Ah! how dost thou change,
“Ah! how you change,
Agnello! See! thou art not double now,
Agnello! Look! You're not two-faced now,
Nor only one!”
Not just one!

BOOK V.
MISGIVINGS AND PREPARATIONS.

I.

IT was long after midnight when Pierre returned to the house. He had rushed forth in that complete abandonment of soul, which, in so ardent a temperament, attends the first stages of any sudden and tremendous affliction; but now he returned in pallid composure, for the calm spirit of the night, and the then risen moon, and the late revealed stars, had all at last become as a strange subduing melody to him, which, though at first trampled and scorned, yet by degrees had stolen into the windings of his heart, and so shed abroad its own quietude in him. Now, from his height of composure, he firmly gazed abroad upon the charred landscape within him; as the timber man of Canada, forced to fly from the conflagration of his forests, comes back again when the fires have waned, and unblinkingly eyes the immeasurable fields of fire-brands that here and there glow beneath the wide canopy of smoke.

It was well past midnight when Pierre came back to the house. He had rushed out with a complete loss of self, which often happens to someone with such intense feelings when facing a sudden and overwhelming disaster; but now he returned with a pale calmness, as the peaceful night, the risen moon, and the newly visible stars had transformed into a strange, soothing melody for him. Initially dismissed and ignored, this melody had gradually seeped into the depths of his heart, spreading its tranquility within him. Now, from this place of calm, he looked out at the devastated landscape inside him, like a lumberjack from Canada who, after fleeing from a wildfire, returns when the flames have died down and stares unflinchingly at the endless patches of smoldering embers glowing here and there beneath the wide canopy of smoke.

It has been said, that always when Pierre would seek solitude in its material shelter and walled isolation, then the closet communicating with his chamber was his elected haunt. So, going to his room, he took up the now dim-burning lamp he had left there, and instinctively entered that retreat, seating himself, with folded arms and bowed head, in the accustomed dragon-footed old chair. With leaden feet, and heart now changing from iciness to a strange sort of indifference, and a numbing sensation stealing over him, he sat there awhile, till, like the resting traveler in snows, he began to struggle against this inertness as the most treacherous and deadliest of symptoms. He looked up, and found himself fronted by the no longer wholly enigmatical, but still ambiguously smiling picture of his father. Instantly all his consciousness and his anguish returned, but still without power to shake the grim tranquillity which possessed him. Yet endure the smiling portrait he could not; and obeying an irresistible nameless impulse, he rose, and without unhanging it, reversed the picture on the wall.

It’s been said that whenever Pierre sought solitude in his physical space and walled isolation, the closet connected to his room was his chosen refuge. So, as he entered his room, he picked up the now low-burning lamp he had left there and instinctively went into that retreat, sitting down, with his arms crossed and head bowed, in the familiar dragon-footed old chair. With heavy feet and a heart shifting from coldness to a strange kind of indifference, and a numbing sensation washing over him, he sat there for a while, until, like a weary traveler in the snow, he began to fight against this lethargy, the most treacherous and deadly of symptoms. He looked up and found himself facing the now less mysterious, but still ambiguously smiling, picture of his father. Instantly, all his awareness and anguish returned, but he still couldn’t shake the grim calm that overtook him. Yet he couldn’t bear the smiling portrait; obeying an overwhelming, nameless urge, he stood up and, without taking it down, turned the picture around on the wall.

This brought to sight the defaced and dusty back, with some wrinkled, tattered paper over the joints, which had become loosened from the paste. “Oh, symbol of thy reversed idea in my soul,” groaned Pierre; “thou shalt not hang thus. Rather cast thee utterly out, than conspicuously insult thee so. I will no more have a father.” He removed the picture wholly from the wall, and the closet; and concealed it in a large chest, covered with blue chintz, and locked it up there. But still, in a square space of slightly discolored wall, the picture still left its shadowy, but vacant and desolate trace. He now strove to banish the least trace of his altered father, as fearful that at present all thoughts concerning him were not only entirely vain, but would prove fatally distracting and incapacitating to a mind, which was now loudly called upon, not only to endure a signal grief, but immediately to act upon it. Wild and cruel case, youth ever thinks; but mistakenly; for Experience well knows, that action, though it seems an aggravation of woe, is really an alleviative; though permanently to alleviate pain, we must first dart some added pangs.

This revealed the damaged and dusty back, with some crumpled, torn paper over the joints, which had come loose from the glue. “Oh, symbol of your twisted idea in my soul,” groaned Pierre; “you won’t hang like this. I’d rather completely get rid of you than insult you like this. I will no longer have a father.” He took the picture down entirely from the wall and the closet and hid it in a large chest covered with blue fabric, locking it up inside. But still, in a square space of slightly discolored wall, the picture left its shadowy, empty, and lonely trace. He now tried to erase any sign of his changed father, fearing that any thoughts about him would not only be completely pointless but would also prove fatally distracting and incapacitating to a mind that was now urgently called upon, not only to endure a deep grief but to act on it right away. Youth always thinks it’s a wild and cruel situation; but mistakenly; for Experience knows well that action, though it seems to worsen sorrow, is actually a relief; though to truly ease pain, we must first add some extra anguish.

Nor now, though profoundly sensible that his whole previous moral being was overturned, and that for him the fair structure of the world must, in some then unknown way, be entirely rebuilded again, from the lowermost corner stone up; nor now did Pierre torment himself with the thought of that last desolation; and how the desolate place was to be made flourishing again. He seemed to feel that in his deepest soul, lurked an indefinite but potential faith, which could rule in the interregnum of all hereditary beliefs, and circumstantial persuasions; not wholly, he felt, was his soul in anarchy. The indefinite regent had assumed the scepter as its right; and Pierre was not entirely given up to his grief’s utter pillage and sack.

Nor now, even though he was deeply aware that his entire moral foundation had been shattered, and that he would need to completely rebuild his view of the world from the ground up; nor now did Pierre torture himself with thoughts of that final emptiness and how to make the desolate place vibrant again. He seemed to sense that deep within him was a vague but potential belief that could govern during the absence of all inherited beliefs and situational influences; he felt that his soul wasn't completely in chaos. This vague ruler had taken control as its due; and Pierre wasn't entirely lost to the complete destruction caused by his grief.

To a less enthusiastic heart than Pierre’s the foremost question in respect to Isabel which would have presented itself, would have been, What must I do? But such a question never presented itself to Pierre; the spontaneous responsiveness of his being left no shadow of dubiousness as to the direct point he must aim at. But if the object was plain, not so the path to it. How must I do it? was a problem for which at first there seemed no chance of solution. But without being entirely aware of it himself, Pierre was one of those spirits, which not in a determinate and sordid scrutiny of small pros and cons—but in an impulsive subservience to the god-like dictation of events themselves, find at length the surest solution of perplexities, and the brightest prerogative of command. And as for him, What must I do? was a question already answered by the inspiration of the difficulty itself; so now he, as it were, unconsciously discharged his mind, for the present, of all distracting considerations concerning How he should do it; assured that the coming interview with Isabel could not but unerringly inspire him there. Still, the inspiration which had thus far directed him had not been entirely mute and undivulging as to many very bitter things which Pierre foresaw in the wide sea of trouble into which he was plunged.

To a less passionate person than Pierre, the main question about Isabel would have been, What should I do? But that question never crossed Pierre’s mind; his instinctive response left him no doubt about the goal he needed to pursue. However, while the aim was clear, the way to reach it was not. How am I supposed to do this? was a puzzle that initially seemed impossible to solve. Yet, without fully realizing it, Pierre was one of those people who, instead of meticulously weighing every detail and option, found the answers to their confusion through instinctual trust in the unfolding of events themselves, ultimately discovering the best solutions and a natural authority. For him, What should I do? was a question already solved by the challenge itself; so, he, in a way, unconsciously freed his mind from all distracting thoughts about How he should go about it, confident that his upcoming meeting with Isabel would surely guide him. Still, the inspiration that had led him thus far had not kept silent about many painful realities he anticipated in the vast sea of troubles he was entering.

If it be the sacred province and—by the wisest, deemed—the inestimable compensation of the heavier woes, that they both purge the soul of gay-hearted errors and replenish it with a saddened truth; that holy office is not so much accomplished by any covertly inductive reasoning process, whose original motive is received from the particular affliction; as it is the magical effect of the admission into man’s inmost spirit of a before unexperienced and wholly inexplicable element, which like electricity suddenly received into any sultry atmosphere of the dark, in all directions splits itself into nimble lances of purifying light; which at one and the same instant discharge all the air of sluggishness and inform it with an illuminating property; so that objects which before, in the uncertainty of the dark, assumed shadowy and romantic outlines, now are lighted up in their substantial realities; so that in these flashing revelations of grief’s wonderful fire, we see all things as they are; and though, when the electric element is gone, the shadows once more descend, and the false outlines of objects again return; yet not with their former power to deceive; for now, even in the presence of the falsest aspects, we still retain the impressions of their immovable true ones, though, indeed, once more concealed.

If it’s the sacred purpose and—according to the wisest—an invaluable reward for heavier sorrows, that they both clear the soul of light-hearted mistakes and fill it with a somber truth; that holy task isn’t really achieved through any hidden reasoning process that starts with a particular suffering; rather, it’s the magical impact of allowing an unfamiliar and completely mysterious element into a person’s deepest spirit, which, like electricity suddenly introduced into a hot, stagnant atmosphere at night, bursts into quick beams of purifying light in all directions; instantly clearing away all the heaviness in the air and filling it with a bright quality; so that things, which before, in the dimness of the dark, appeared vague and romantic, are now illuminated in their true form; so that in these bright revelations from grief's incredible fire, we see everything as it really is; and although, when the electric essence fades, shadows return, and the false outlines of things come back; they no longer have the same power to mislead; for now, even in the presence of the most misleading appearances, we still hold onto the impressions of their unchangeable true forms, even if they are once again hidden.

Thus with Pierre. In the joyous young times, ere his great grief came upon him, all the objects which surrounded him were concealingly deceptive. Not only was the long-cherished image of his rather now transfigured before him from a green foliaged tree into a blasted trunk, but every other image in his mind attested the universality of that electral light which had darted into his soul. Not even his lovely, immaculate mother, remained entirely untouched, unaltered by the shock. At her changed aspect, when first revealed to him, Pierre had gazed in a panic; and now, when the electrical storm had gone by, he retained in his mind, that so suddenly revealed image, with an infinite mournfulness. She, who in her less splendid but finer and more spiritual part, had ever seemed to Pierre not only as a beautiful saint before whom to offer up his daily orisons, but also as a gentle lady-counsellor and confessor, and her revered chamber as a soft satin-hung cabinet and confessional;—his mother was no longer this all-alluring thing; no more, he too keenly felt, could he go to his mother, as to one who entirely sympathized with him; as to one before whom he could almost unreservedly unbosom himself; as to one capable of pointing out to him the true path where he seemed most beset. Wonderful, indeed, was that electric insight which Fate had now given him into the vital character of his mother. She well might have stood all ordinary tests; but when Pierre thought of the touchstone of his immense strait applied to her spirit, he felt profoundly assured that she would crumble into nothing before it.

Thus with Pierre. In the happy early days, before his great sorrow hit him, everything around him felt deceptively beautiful. Not only had the long-held image of his now-changed mother shifted from a lush green tree to a lifeless trunk, but every other image in his mind reflected the all-encompassing light that had penetrated his soul. Not even his lovely, pure mother remained completely unaffected or unchanged by the shock. When he first saw her altered appearance, Pierre looked on in panic; and now, after the storm had passed, he held onto that suddenly revealed image in his mind with deep sadness. She, who in her less glamorous but more refined and spiritual essence, had always seemed to Pierre not just like a beautiful saint to whom he could offer his daily prayers, but also as a gentle lady adviser and confessor, and her cherished room felt like a softly draped sanctuary and confessional;—his mother was no longer that all-consuming presence; he felt too acutely that he could no longer approach her as someone who fully understood him; as someone before whom he could nearly completely open himself; as someone capable of guiding him on the true path when he felt most overwhelmed. It was indeed remarkable how deeply Fate had now revealed to him the true nature of his mother. She might have passed all ordinary tests; but when Pierre considered the immense pressure of his own struggles applied to her spirit, he felt utterly certain that she would fall apart under it.

She was a noble creature, but formed chiefly for the gilded prosperities of life, and hitherto mostly used to its unruffled serenities; bred and expanded, in all developments, under the sole influence of hereditary forms and world-usages. Not his refined, courtly, loving, equable mother, Pierre felt, could unreservedly, and like a heaven’s heroine, meet the shock of his extraordinary emergency, and applaud, to his heart’s echo, a sublime resolve, whose execution should call down the astonishment and the jeers of the world.

She was a noble person, but primarily shaped for the lavish successes of life, and so far mostly accustomed to its calm tranquility; raised and developed entirely under the influence of inherited traditions and societal norms. Pierre felt that even his elegant, sophisticated, loving, and calm mother couldn't fully, like a heroine from heaven, face the impact of his extraordinary crisis, and cheer for a lofty decision, the execution of which would draw the amazement and ridicule of the world.

My mother!—dearest mother!—God hath given me a sister, and unto thee a daughter, and covered her with the world’s extremest infamy and scorn, that so I and thou—thou, my mother, mightest gloriously own her, and acknowledge her, and,—— Nay, nay, groaned Pierre, never, never, could such syllables be one instant tolerated by her. Then, high-up, and towering, and all-forbidding before Pierre grew the before unthought of wonderful edifice of his mother’s immense pride;—her pride of birth, her pride of affluence, her pride of purity, and all the pride of high-born, refined, and wealthy Life, and all the Semiramian pride of woman. Then he staggered back upon himself, and only found support in himself. Then Pierre felt that deep in him lurked a divine unidentifiableness, that owned no earthly kith or kin. Yet was this feeling entirely lonesome, and orphan-like. Fain, then, for one moment, would he have recalled the thousand sweet illusions of Life; tho’ purchased at the price of Life’s Truth; so that once more he might not feel himself driven out an infant Ishmael into the desert, with no maternal Hagar to accompany and comfort him.

My mother!—dearest mother!—God has given me a sister, and to you a daughter, covered with the world's worst disgrace and contempt, so that I and you—you, my mother, could proudly claim her and acknowledge her, and,—— No, no, Pierre groaned, never, never could such words be tolerated by her. Then, towering high and intimidating before Pierre emerged the previously unimagined grandeur of his mother’s immense pride;—her pride of birth, her pride of wealth, her pride of purity, and all the pride of being high-born, refined, and wealthy, along with the extravagant pride of womanhood. Then he staggered back and found only himself to lean on. Pierre felt that deep inside him lay a divine unrecognizable essence, belonging to no earthly family. Yet this feeling was completely lonesome, and orphan-like. For just one moment, he would have liked to recall the thousand sweet illusions of Life; even if it came at the cost of Life’s Truth; just so he wouldn’t feel like an outcast Ishmael driven into the desert, with no maternal Hagar to accompany and comfort him.

Still, were these emotions without prejudice to his own love for his mother, and without the slightest bitterness respecting her; and, least of all, there was no shallow disdain toward her of superior virtue. He too plainly saw, that not his mother had made his mother; but the Infinite Haughtiness had first fashioned her; and then the haughty world had further molded her; nor had a haughty Ritual omitted to finish her.

Still, were these feelings unaffected by his own love for his mother, and with no trace of bitterness towards her; and, most importantly, there was no superficial disdain for her supposed superiority. He clearly understood that it wasn't his mother who created herself; rather, the Infinite Pride had initially shaped her, and then the arrogant world had further influenced her; nor had a proud Ritual failed to complete her transformation.

Wonderful, indeed, we repeat it, was the electrical insight which Pierre now had into the character of his mother, for not even the vivid recalling of her lavish love for him could suffice to gainsay his sudden persuasion. Love me she doth, thought Pierre, but how? Loveth she me with the love past all understanding? that love, which in the loved one’s behalf, would still calmly confront all hate? whose most triumphing hymn, triumphs only by swelling above all opposing taunts and despite?—Loving mother, here have I a loved, but world-infamous sister to own;—and if thou lovest me, mother, thy love will love her, too, and in the proudest drawing-room take her so much the more proudly by the hand.—And as Pierre thus in fancy led Isabel before his mother; and in fancy led her away, and felt his tongue cleave to the roof of his mouth, with her transfixing look of incredulous, scornful horror; then Pierre’s enthusiastic heart sunk in and in, and caved clean away in him, as he so poignantly felt his first feeling of the dreary heart-vacancies of the conventional life. Oh heartless, proud, ice-gilded world, how I hate thee, he thought, that thy tyrannous, insatiate grasp, thus now in my bitterest need—thus doth rob me even of my mother; thus doth make me now doubly an orphan, without a green grave to bedew. My tears,—could I weep them,—must now be wept in the desolate places; now to me is it, as though both father and mother had gone on distant voyages, and, returning, died in unknown seas.

Wonderful, indeed, we say again, was the sudden insight Pierre had into his mother's character, for not even the vivid memories of her abundant love for him could shake his sudden realization. She loves me, he thought, but how? Does she love me with a love beyond all understanding? That kind of love which would still face all hate on behalf of the one loved? Whose most triumphant song rises above all mocking and challenges?—Loving mother, I have a beloved but notorious sister to acknowledge;—and if you love me, mother, your love will extend to her, too, and in the most prestigious drawing room, you will take her hand all the more proudly.—And as Pierre imagined introducing Isabel to his mother; and then imagined taking her away, feeling his tongue stick to the roof of his mouth under her piercing look of disbelief and scornful horror; Pierre’s hopeful heart sank deeper and deeper, collapsing entirely within him, as he felt the first signs of the bleak emptiness of conventional life. Oh heartless, proud, ice-coated world, how I despise you, he thought, that your tyrannical, never-satisfied grasp, even now in my greatest need—robs me of my mother; making me now doubly an orphan, without a green grave to weep over. My tears—if I could cry them—must now flow in barren places; it feels to me as though both father and mother have gone off on distant journeys, only to die in unknown seas upon their return.

She loveth me, ay;—but why? Had I been cast in a cripple’s mold, how then? Now, do I remember that in her most caressing love, there ever gleamed some scaly, glittering folds of pride. Me she loveth with pride’s love; in me she thinks she seeth her own curled and haughty beauty; before my glass she stands,—pride’s priestess—and to her mirrored image, not to me, she offers up her offerings of kisses. Oh, small thanks I owe thee, Favorable Goddess, that didst clothe this form with all the beauty of a man, that so thou mightest hide from me all the truth of a man. Now I see that in his beauty a man is snared, and made stone-blind, as the worm within its silk. Welcome then be Ugliness and Poverty and Infamy, and all ye other crafty ministers of Truth, that beneath the hoods and rags of beggars hide yet the belts and crowns of kings. And dimmed be all beauty that must own the clay; and dimmed be all wealth, and all delight, and all the annual prosperities of earth, that but gild the links, and stud with diamonds the base rivets and the chains of Lies. Oh, now methinks I a little see why of old the men of Truth went barefoot, girded with a rope, and ever moving under mournfulness as underneath a canopy. I remember now those first wise words, wherewith our Savior Christ first spoke in his first speech to men:—‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, and blessed they that mourn.’ Oh, hitherto I have but piled up words; bought books, and bought some small experiences, and builded me in libraries; now I sit down and read. Oh, now I know the night, and comprehend the sorceries of the moon, and all the dark persuadings that have their birth in storms and winds. Oh, not long will Joy abide, when Truth doth come; nor Grief her laggard be. Well may this head hang on my breast—it holds too much; well may my heart knock at my ribs,—prisoner impatient of his iron bars. Oh, men are jailers all; jailers of themselves; and in Opinion’s world ignorantly hold their noblest part a captive to their vilest; as disguised royal Charles when caught by peasants. The heart! the heart! ’tis God’s anointed; let me pursue the heart!

She loves me, yes;—but why? If I had been born with a different appearance, what then? I remember that in her most affectionate love, there has always been a hint of pride. She loves me with pride; she thinks she sees her own curled and haughty beauty in me; she stands before the mirror—like a priestess of pride—and offers her kisses to her reflected image, not to me. Oh, I owe you little, Favorable Goddess, for clothing me with male beauty, only to hide the truth of man from me. Now I see that a man can be trapped by his beauty, blinded like a worm in its silk. So welcome Ugliness, Poverty, and Infamy, along with all the other crafty messengers of Truth, who hide the crowns of kings beneath the rags of beggars. And may beauty that belongs to the flesh be obscured; may wealth, delight, and all the rewards of the earth that merely adorn the chains of Lies be dimmed. Oh, now I think I see a bit why in the past the men of Truth walked barefoot, bound with a rope, always under a cloud of sorrow. I remember the wise words our Savior Christ first spoke to humanity: ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, and blessed are those who mourn.’ Until now, I've just piled up words; bought books, accumulated small experiences, and built myself libraries; now I sit down and read. Oh, I now understand the night, and grasp the enchantments of the moon, and all the dark seductions born from storms and winds. Joy won't last long when Truth arrives; nor will Grief linger behind. It’s no wonder my head hangs low—it carries too much; it’s no wonder my heart knocks against my ribs—like a prisoner longing for freedom. Oh, men are all jailers; they're jailers of themselves, unknowingly holding their noblest parts captive to their basest selves, like disguised royal Charles caught by peasants. The heart! The heart! It’s God’s anointed; let me pursue the heart!


II.

BUT if the presentiment in Pierre of his mother’s pride, as bigotedly hostile to the noble design he cherished; if this feeling was so wretched to him; far more so was the thought of another and a deeper hostility, arising from her more spiritual part. For her pride would not be so scornful, as her wedded memories reject with horror, the unmentionable imputation involved in the mere fact of Isabel’s existence. In what galleries of conjecture, among what horrible haunting toads and scorpions, would such a revelation lead her? When Pierre thought of this, the idea of at all divulging his secret to his mother, not only was made repelling by its hopelessness, as an infirm attack upon her citadel of pride, but was made in the last degree inhuman, as torturing her in her tenderest recollections, and desecrating the whitest altar in her sanctuary.

BUT if the feeling in Pierre about his mother’s pride, which was blindly opposed to the noble dream he held dear; if this feeling was so miserable for him; far worse was the thought of an even deeper hostility, coming from her more spiritual side. Her pride wouldn’t be merely contemptuous, but her memories of marriage would reject with horror the unmentionable stain implied by the mere existence of Isabel. In what dark realms of speculation, among what dreadful haunting toads and scorpions, would such a revelation lead her? When Pierre considered this, the idea of ever revealing his secret to his mother not only felt repulsive due to its hopelessness, as a weak assault on her pride, but it also seemed extremely cruel, as it would torment her in her most cherished memories and defile the purest altar in her sanctuary.

Though the conviction that he must never disclose his secret to his mother was originally an unmeditated, and as it were, an inspired one; yet now he was almost pains-taking in scrutinizing the entire circumstances of the matter, in order that nothing might be overlooked. For already he vaguely felt, that upon the concealment, or the disclosure of this thing, with reference to his mother, hinged his whole future course of conduct, his whole earthly weal, and Isabel’s. But the more and the more that he pondered upon it, the more and the more fixed became his original conviction. He considered that in the case of a disclosure, all human probability pointed to his mother’s scornful rejection of his suit as a pleader for Isabel’s honorable admission into the honorable mansion of the Glendinnings. Then in that case, unconsciously thought Pierre, I shall have given the deep poison of a miserable truth to my mother, without benefit to any, and positive harm to all. And through Pierre’s mind there then darted a baleful thought; how that the truth should not always be paraded; how that sometimes a lie is heavenly, and truth infernal. Filially infernal, truly, thought Pierre, if I should by one vile breath of truth, blast my father’s blessed memory in the bosom of my mother, and plant the sharpest dagger of grief in her soul. I will not do it!

Though the belief that he must never share his secret with his mother started out as a spontaneous, almost inspired idea, he was now painstakingly examining every detail of the situation to ensure nothing was missed. He sensed that whether he kept this secret or revealed it to his mother would determine the course of his entire future, as well as Isabel’s. But the more he thought about it, the more firmly his original belief took hold. He figured that if he revealed the truth, all signs indicated that his mother would scornfully reject his plea for Isabel’s rightful place in the respectable home of the Glendinnings. In that case, Pierre thought, I would have given my mother the toxic sting of a painful truth with no benefit for anyone and real harm for all. Then a troubling idea crossed Pierre’s mind; the notion that truth shouldn’t always be put on display, and that sometimes a lie can be a blessing, while truth can be a curse. A truly cursed situation, he thought, if one careless word of truth could ruin his father’s cherished memory in his mother’s heart and drive the deepest sorrow into her soul. I will not do it!

But as this resolution in him opened up so dark and wretched a background to his view, he strove to think no more of it now, but postpone it until the interview with Isabel should have in some way more definitely shaped his purposes. For, when suddenly encountering the shock of new and unanswerable revelations, which he feels must revolutionize all the circumstances of his life, man, at first, ever seeks to shun all conscious definitiveness in his thoughts and purposes; as assured, that the lines that shall precisely define his present misery, and thereby lay out his future path; these can only be defined by sharp stakes that cut into his heart.

But as this decision opened up such a dark and miserable backdrop in his mind, he tried not to think about it right now, choosing to put it off until his meeting with Isabel had somehow clarified his intentions. When faced with the shock of unexpected and unanswerable truths that he feels must change everything about his life, a person usually tries to avoid making any firm decisions; convinced that the lines which will define his current pain and shape his future can only be drawn by harsh stakes piercing his heart.


III.

MOST melancholy of all the hours of earth, is that one long, gray hour, which to the watcher by the lamp intervenes between the night and day; when both lamp and watcher, over-tasked, grow sickly in the pallid light; and the watcher, seeking for no gladness in the dawn, sees naught but garish vapors there; and almost invokes a curse upon the public day, that shall invade his lonely night of sufferance.

MOST sad of all the hours on earth is that long, gray hour, which for the person sitting by the lamp comes between night and day; when both the lamp and the watcher, exhausted, become weary in the pale light; and the watcher, looking for no joy in the dawn, sees nothing but harsh mists there; and nearly wishes for a curse on the public day that will interrupt his lonely night of suffering.

The one small window of his closet looked forth upon the meadow, and across the river, and far away to the distant heights, storied with the great deeds of the Glendinnings. Many a time had Pierre sought this window before sunrise, to behold the blood-red, out-flinging dawn, that would wrap those purple hills as with a banner. But now the morning dawned in mist and rain, and came drizzlingly upon his heart. Yet as the day advanced, and once more showed to him the accustomed features of his room by that natural light, which, till this very moment, had never lighted him but to his joy; now that the day, and not the night, was witness to his woe; now first the dread reality came appallingly upon him. A sense of horrible forlornness, feebleness, impotence, and infinite, eternal desolation possessed him. It was not merely mental, but corporeal also. He could not stand; and when he tried to sit, his arms fell floorwards as tied to leaden weights. Dragging his ball and chain, he fell upon his bed; for when the mind is cast down, only in sympathetic proneness can the body rest; whence the bed is often Grief’s first refuge. Half stupefied, as with opium, he fell into the profoundest sleep.

The small window in his closet looked out over the meadow, across the river, and off to the distant heights, which were filled with the legendary deeds of the Glendinnings. Many times, Pierre had gone to this window before sunrise to see the blood-red dawn that wrapped those purple hills like a banner. But now the morning came shrouded in mist and rain, drizzling down onto his heart. As the day went on and the familiar light returned to his room, which until that moment had only brought him joy, he was struck by the harsh reality of his sorrow as the day, not the night, became witness to his pain. For the first time, he felt a deep sense of loneliness, weakness, helplessness, and infinite despair. This feeling was not just in his mind but also in his body. He couldn’t stand; when he attempted to sit, his arms felt heavy and dropped to the floor as if weighed down by lead. Dragging himself like a prisoner with a ball and chain, he fell onto his bed; when the mind is heavy with grief, the body can only find rest in a similar droop, making the bed often the first refuge for sorrow. Half dazed, like under the influence of opium, he fell into a deep sleep.

In an hour he awoke, instantly recalling all the previous night; and now finding himself a little strengthened, and lying so quietly and silently there, almost without bodily consciousness, but his soul unobtrusively alert; careful not to break the spell by the least movement of a limb, or the least turning of his head. Pierre steadfastly faced his grief, and looked deep down into its eyes; and thoroughly, and calmly, and summarily comprehended it now—so at least he thought—and what it demanded from him; and what he must quickly do in its more immediate sequences; and what that course of conduct was, which he must pursue in the coming unevadable breakfast interview with his mother; and what, for the present must be his plan with Lucy. His time of thought was brief. Rising from his bed, he steadied himself upright a moment; and then going to his writing-desk, in a few at first faltering, but at length unlagging lines, traced the following note:

In an hour, he woke up, instantly recalling everything from the night before; and now feeling a bit stronger, lying there quietly and silently, almost unaware of his body, but with his mind wide awake; careful not to break the stillness with even the slightest movement or turn of his head. Pierre faced his grief head-on, looking deep into its eyes; and he thought he fully understood it now—what it demanded from him; what he needed to do quickly in the immediate aftermath; the course of action he needed to take during the unavoidable breakfast meeting with his mother; and what his current plan was with Lucy. His time to think was brief. Getting out of bed, he steadied himself for a moment; then, going to his writing desk, he initially wrote a few hesitant lines, but finally managed to write the following note:

“I must ask pardon of you, Lucy, for so strangely absenting myself last night. But you know me well enough to be very sure that I would not have done so without important cause. I was in the street approaching your cottage, when a message reached me, imperatively calling me away. It is a matter which will take up all my time and attention for, possibly, two or three days. I tell you this, now, that you may be prepared for it. And I know that however unwelcome this may be to you, you will yet bear with it for my sake; for, indeed, and indeed, Lucy dear, I would not dream of staying from you so long, unless irresistibly coerced to it. Do not come to the mansion until I come to you; and do not manifest any curiosity or anxiety about me, should you chance in the interval to see my mother in any other place. Keep just as cheerful as if I were by you all the time. Do this, now, I conjure you; and so farewell!”

“I need to apologize, Lucy, for disappearing so unexpectedly last night. But you know me well enough to understand that I wouldn’t have done this without a good reason. I was on my way to your cottage when I received a message that urgently called me away. This is something that will occupy all my time and attention for, perhaps, two or three days. I’m telling you this now so you can be prepared. I know this might not be what you want to hear, but I believe you’ll manage it for my sake; truly, Lucy dear, I wouldn’t stay away from you for so long unless I absolutely had to. Please don’t come to the mansion until I can see you; and don’t show any curiosity or worry about me if you happen to see my mother elsewhere in the meantime. Keep your spirits up as if I were with you the whole time. I ask you this sincerely; and so, goodbye!”

He folded the note, and was about sealing it, when he hesitated a moment, and instantly unfolding it, read it to himself. But he could not adequately comprehend his own writing, for a sudden cloud came over him. This passed; and taking his pen hurriedly again, he added the following postscript:

He folded the note and was about to seal it when he paused for a moment. Instantly unfolding it, he read it to himself. But he couldn't quite understand his own writing, as a sudden cloud of confusion settled over him. This passed quickly, and grabbing his pen again in a rush, he added the following postscript:

“Lucy, this note may seem mysterious; but if it shall, I did not mean to make it so; nor do I know that I could have helped it. But the only reason is this, Lucy: the matter which I have alluded to, is of such a nature, that, for the present I stand virtually pledged not to disclose it to any person but those more directly involved in it. But where one can not reveal the thing itself, it only makes it the more mysterious to write round it this way. So merely know me entirely unmenaced in person, and eternally faithful to you; and so be at rest till I see you.”

"Lucy, this note might seem mysterious, but if it does, I didn't intend for it to be that way, and I honestly don't know if I could have avoided it. The only reason for this is simple: the situation I've mentioned is such that, for now, I have to keep it confidential and can only share it with those directly involved. When you can't reveal the actual matter, it only adds to the mystery to write around it like this. So just know that I'm completely safe, and I'm always loyal to you; try to be at ease until I can see you."

Then sealing the note, and ringing the bell, he gave it in strict charge to a servant, with directions to deliver it at the earliest practicable moment, and not wait for any answer. But as the messenger was departing the chamber, he called him back, and taking the sealed note again, and hollowing it in his hand, scrawled inside of it in pencil the following words: “Don’t write me; don’t inquire for me;” and then returned it to the man, who quitted him, leaving Pierre rooted in thought in the middle of the room.

Then, after sealing the note and ringing the bell, he handed it to a servant with instructions to deliver it as soon as possible and not wait for any response. But just as the messenger was leaving the room, he called him back, took the sealed note again, and, cupping it in his hand, scribbled the following words inside with a pencil: “Don’t write to me; don’t look for me;” and then gave it back to the man, who left him, leaving Pierre lost in thought in the middle of the room.

But he soon roused himself, and left the mansion; and seeking the cool, refreshing meadow stream, where it formed a deep and shady pool, he bathed; and returning invigorated to his chamber, changed his entire dress; in the little trifling concernments of his toilette, striving utterly to banish all thought of that weight upon his soul. Never did he array himself with more solicitude for effect. It was one of his fond mother’s whims to perfume the lighter contents of his wardrobe; and it was one of his own little femininenesses—of the sort sometimes curiously observable in very robust-bodied and big-souled men, as Mohammed, for example—to be very partial to all pleasant essences. So that when once more he left the mansion in order to freshen his cheek anew to meet the keen glance of his mother—to whom the secret of his possible pallor could not be divulged; Pierre went forth all redolent; but alas! his body only the embalming cerements of his buried dead within.

But he soon pulled himself together and left the mansion; seeking the cool, refreshing stream that formed a deep, shady pool in the meadow, he took a bath. Feeling revitalized, he returned to his room and changed his entire outfit, focusing on the little details of his appearance to push aside the heavy thoughts weighing on him. He had never dressed with more care. It was a quirk of his beloved mother to add fragrance to the lighter items in his wardrobe, and he himself had a little tendency—often seen in strong, big-hearted men, like Mohammed, for example—to love all nice scents. So when he stepped out of the mansion again to freshen up before facing his mother’s sharp gaze—who couldn’t discover the truth behind his possible paleness—Pierre went out smelling wonderful; but sadly, his body was just a cover for the buried pain within.


IV.

HIS stroll was longer than he meant; and when he returned up the Linden walk leading to the breakfast-room, and ascended the piazza steps, and glanced into the wide window there, he saw his mother seated not far from the table; her face turned toward his own; and heard her gay voice, and peculiarly light and buoyant laugh, accusing him, and not her, of being the morning’s laggard now. Dates was busy among some spoons and napkins at a side-stand.

HIS walk ended up being longer than he intended; and when he came back up the Linden path leading to the breakfast room, climbed the steps of the porch, and peeked into the large window there, he saw his mother sitting not far from the table; her face turned toward him; and he heard her cheerful voice, along with her uniquely light and lively laugh, teasing him, not her, for being the slow one that morning. Dates was occupied arranging some spoons and napkins on a side table.

Summoning all possible cheerfulness to his face, Pierre entered the room. Remembering his carefulness in bathing and dressing; and knowing that there is no air so calculated to give bloom to the cheek as that of a damply fresh, cool, and misty morning, Pierre persuaded himself that small trace would now be found on him of his long night of watching.

Summoning all the cheerfulness he could muster, Pierre walked into the room. Remembering how careful he had been while bathing and getting dressed, and knowing that nothing makes a person's cheeks look better than the fresh, cool air of a damp, misty morning, Pierre convinced himself that there would be little evidence of his long night of sleeplessness.

‘Good morning, sister;—Such a famous stroll! I have been all the way to——’

‘Good morning, sister;—What a great walk! I went all the way to——’

‘Where? good heavens! where? for such a look as that!—why, Pierre, Pierre? what ails thee? Dates, I will touch the bell presently.’

‘Where? Oh my gosh! Where? For a look like that!—Why, Pierre, Pierre? What’s wrong with you? Dates, I’ll ring the bell in a minute.’

As the good servitor fumbled for a moment among the napkins, as if unwilling to stir so summarily from his accustomed duty, and not without some of a well and long-tried old domestic’s vague, intermitted murmuring, at being wholly excluded from a matter of family interest; Mrs. Glendinning kept her fixed eye on Pierre, who, unmindful that the breakfast was not yet entirely ready, seating himself at the table, began helping himself—though but nervously enough—to the cream and sugar. The moment the door closed on Dates, the mother sprang to her feet, and threw her arms around her son; but in that embrace, Pierre miserably felt that their two hearts beat not together in such unison as before.

As the servant fumbled for a moment among the napkins, seemingly reluctant to leave his usual task, accompanied by some vague, murmured complaints about being left out of family matters; Mrs. Glendinning kept her gaze fixed on Pierre, who, unaware that breakfast was not quite ready, took a seat at the table and nervously helped himself to the cream and sugar. The moment the door closed behind Dates, the mother jumped up and wrapped her arms around her son; but in that embrace, Pierre sadly realized that their hearts no longer beat in unison as they once did.

‘What haggard thing possesses thee, my son? Speak, this is incomprehensible! Lucy;—fie!—not she?—no love-quarrel there;—speak, speak, my darling boy!

‘What worn-out thing has taken hold of you, my son? Speak, this doesn’t make sense! Lucy;—come on!—not her?—no love drama there;—talk to me, my sweet boy!

‘My dear sister,’ began Pierre.

"Hey sis," Pierre started.

‘Sister me not, now, Pierre;—I am thy mother.’

‘Don’t call me sister now, Pierre;—I am your mother.’

‘Well, then, dear mother, thou art quite as incomprehensible to me as I to——’

‘Well, then, dear mother, you are just as confusing to me as I am to——’

‘Talk faster, Pierre—this calmness freezes me. Tell me; for, by my soul, something most wonderful must have happened to thee. Thou art my son, and I command thee. It is not Lucy; it is something else. Tell me.’

‘Talk faster, Pierre—this calmness is chilling me. Tell me; because, I swear, something truly amazing must have happened to you. You are my son, and I command you. It’s not Lucy; it’s something else. Tell me.’

‘My dear mother,’ said Pierre, impulsively moving his chair backward from the table, ‘if thou wouldst only believe me when I say it, I have really nothing to tell thee. Thou knowest that sometimes, when I happen to feel very foolishly studious and philosophical, I sit up late in my chamber; and then, regardless of the hour, foolishly run out into the air, for a long stroll across the meadows. I took such a stroll last night; and had but little time left for napping afterward; and what nap I had I was none the better for. But I won’t be so silly again, soon; so do, dearest mother, stop looking at me, and let us to breakfast.—Dates! Touch the bell there, sister.’

"My dear mother," said Pierre, impulsively pushing his chair back from the table, "if you would just believe me when I say this, I really have nothing to tell you. You know that sometimes, when I feel a bit foolish and philosophical, I stay up late in my room; and then, no matter the hour, I foolishly run out into the air for a long walk across the meadows. I took such a walk last night; and I hardly had any time for sleeping afterward, and the nap I did get didn’t help at all. But I won’t be so silly again anytime soon, so please, dear mother, stop looking at me, and let’s have breakfast. —Dates! Sister, please ring the bell."

‘Stay, Pierre!—There is a heaviness in this hour. I feel, I know, that thou art deceiving me;—perhaps I erred in seeking to wrest thy secret from thee; but believe me, my son, I never thought thou hadst any secret thing from me, except thy first love for Lucy—and that, my own womanhood tells me, was most pardonable and right. But now, what can it be? Pierre, Pierre! consider well before thou determinest upon withholding confidence from me. I am thy mother. It may prove a fatal thing. Can that be good and virtuous, Pierre, which shrinks from a mother’s knowledge? Let us not loose hands so, Pierre; thy confidence from me, mine goes from thee. Now, shall I touch the bell?’

"Wait, Pierre! There's a heaviness in this moment. I feel, I know, that you’re deceiving me; maybe I was wrong to try to pry your secret from you; but believe me, my son, I never thought you had any secret from me, except your first love for Lucy—and that, as a woman, I understand was completely forgivable and natural. But now, what could it be? Pierre, Pierre! Think carefully before you decide to keep your confidence from me. I am your mother. This could have serious consequences. Can anything good and virtuous come from hiding something from your mother? Let's not drift apart like this, Pierre; your trust in me, and my trust in you, are linked. Now, should I ring the bell?"

Pierre, who had thus far been vainly seeking to occupy his hands with his cap and spoon; he now paused, and unconsciously fastened a speechless glance of mournfulness upon his mother. Again he felt presentiments of his mother’s newly-revealed character. He foresaw the supposed indignation of her wounded pride; her gradually estranged affections thereupon; he knew her firmness, and her exaggerated ideas of the inalienable allegiance of a son. He trembled to think, that now indeed was come the first initial moment of his heavy trial. But though he knew all the significance of his mother’s attitude, as she stood before him, intently eying him, with one hand upon the bell-cord; and though he felt that the same opening of the door that should now admit Dates, could not but give eternal exit to all confidence between him and his mother; and though he felt, too, that this was his mother’s latent thought; nevertheless, he was girded up in his well-considered resolution.

Pierre, who had been vainly trying to keep himself busy with his cap and spoon, suddenly stopped and gave his mother a sad, silent look. He felt again the signs of his mother's newly-revealed personality. He anticipated her supposed anger over her wounded pride and the gradual distance that would grow between them; he was aware of her stubbornness and her exaggerated beliefs about a son's unbreakable loyalty. He shuddered at the realization that this was truly the beginning of his difficult challenge. Even though he understood the implications of his mother’s stance as she stood before him, watching him closely with one hand on the bell cord; and even though he realized that the same door that would soon let in Dates would also close off all trust between him and his mother; and even though he sensed that this was her unspoken thought, he still felt fortified by his well-considered resolve.

“Pierre, Pierre! shall I touch the bell?”

“Pierre, Pierre! Should I ring the bell?”

“Mother, stay!—yes do, sister.”

"Mom, stay!—yes, please, sister."

The bell was rung; and at the summons Dates entered; and looking with some significance at Mrs. Glendinning, said,—“His Reverence has come, my mistress, and is now in the west parlor.”

The bell rang, and at the call, Dates entered. He glanced meaningfully at Mrs. Glendinning and said, “His Reverence has arrived, my lady, and he’s in the west parlor now.”

“Show Mr. Falsgrave in here immediately; and bring up the coffee; did I not tell you I expected him to breakfast this morning?”

“Get Mr. Falsgrave in here right away and bring up the coffee. Didn't I tell you I was expecting him for breakfast this morning?”

“Yes, my mistress; but I thought that—that—just then”—glancing alarmedly from mother to son.

“Yes, my mistress; but I thought that—that—just then”—glancing nervously from mother to son.

“Oh, my good Dates, nothing has happened,” cried Mrs. Glendinning, lightly, and with a bitter smile, looking toward her son,—“show Mr. Falsgrave in. Pierre, I did not see thee, to tell thee, last night; but Mr. Falsgrave breakfasts with us by invitation. I was at the parsonage yesterday, to see him about that wretched affair of Delly, and we are finally to settle upon what is to be done this morning. But my mind is made up concerning Ned; no such profligate shall pollute this place; nor shall the disgraceful Delly.”

“Oh, my dear Dates, nothing has happened,” Mrs. Glendinning said lightly, with a bitter smile, looking at her son. “Please show Mr. Falsgrave in. Pierre, I didn’t get to see you to tell you last night, but Mr. Falsgrave is joining us for breakfast by invitation. I was at the parsonage yesterday to discuss that awful situation with Delly, and we’re finally going to figure out what to do this morning. But I’ve made up my mind about Ned; no disgraceful person is going to tarnish this place, nor will the shameful Delly.”

Fortunately, the abrupt entrance of the clergyman, here turned away attention from the sudden pallor of Pierre’s countenance, and afforded him time to rally.

Fortunately, the sudden arrival of the clergyman shifted attention away from Pierre’s pale expression and gave him a moment to compose himself.

“Good morning, madam; good morning, sir;” said Mr. Falsgrave, in a singularly mild, flute-like voice, turning to Mrs. Glendinning and her son; the lady receiving him with answering cordiality, but Pierre too embarrassed just then to be equally polite. As for one brief moment Mr. Falsgrave stood before the pair, ere taking the offered chair from Dates, his aspect was eminently attractive.

“Good morning, ma'am; good morning, sir,” said Mr. Falsgrave in a uniquely soft, flute-like voice, turning to Mrs. Glendinning and her son. The lady greeted him warmly, but Pierre was too embarrassed at that moment to be equally polite. For a brief moment, Mr. Falsgrave stood before them before taking the chair offered by Dates; he looked exceptionally attractive.

There are certain ever-to-be-cherished moments in the life of almost any man, when a variety of little foregoing circumstances all unite to make him temporarily oblivious of whatever may be hard and bitter in his life, and also to make him most amiably and ruddily disposed; when the scene and company immediately before him are highly agreeable; and if at such a time he chance involuntarily to put himself into a scenically favorable bodily posture; then, in that posture, however transient, thou shalt catch the noble stature of his Better Angel; catch a heavenly glimpse of the latent heavenliness of man. It was so with Mr. Falsgrave now. Not a house within a circuit of fifty miles that he preferred entering before the mansion-house of Saddle Meadows; and though the business upon which he had that morning come, was any thing but relishable to him, yet that subject was not in his memory then. Before him stood united in one person, the most exalted lady and the most storied beauty of all the country round; and the finest, most intellectual, and most congenial youth he knew. Before him also, stood the generous foundress and the untiring patroness of the beautiful little marble church, consecrated by the good Bishop, not four years gone by. Before him also, stood—though in polite disguise—the same untiring benefactress, from whose purse, he could not help suspecting, came a great part of his salary, nominally supplied by the rental of the pews. He had been invited to breakfast; a meal, which, in a well-appointed country family, is the most cheerful circumstance of daily life; he smelt all Java’s spices in the aroma from the silver coffee-urn; and well he knew, what liquid deliciousness would soon come from it. Besides all this, and many more minutenesses of the kind, he was conscious that Mrs. Glendinning entertained a particular partiality for him (though not enough to marry him, as he ten times knew by very bitter experience), and that Pierre was not behindhand in his esteem.

There are certain moments in every man's life that he will always cherish, when a mix of little past events come together to make him forget, if only for a moment, the hard and bitter parts of his life. These moments also make him feel warm and friendly; when the scene and the company around him are truly enjoyable; and if, in that moment, he finds himself in a particularly favorable position, you can catch a glimpse of his better self, showing the hidden goodness in humanity. That was the case for Mr. Falsgrave now. There wasn't a house within fifty miles that he preferred entering more than the mansion at Saddle Meadows; and even though the reason for his visit that morning was anything but pleasant, it wasn't on his mind at that moment. In front of him stood the most esteemed lady and the most renowned beauty in the area; alongside them was the cleverest and most like-minded young man he knew. Also there was the generous founder and tireless supporter of the lovely little marble church that had been dedicated by the good Bishop just four years ago. Standing there too—though in polite disguise—was the same devoted benefactor from whose purse, he suspected, much of his salary (officially coming from pew rentals) actually derived. He had been invited to breakfast, a meal that, in a well-off country family, is the most joyful part of daily life; he could smell the rich spices of Java wafting from the silver coffee urn and knew very well how delicious the coffee would soon be. On top of all this, he was aware that Mrs. Glendinning had a special fondness for him (though not enough to actually marry him, something he had learned through bitter experience), and that Pierre also held him in high regard.

And the clergyman was well worthy of it. Nature had been royally bountiful to him in his person. In his happier moments, as the present, his face was radiant with a courtly, but mild benevolence; his person was nobly robust and dignified; while the remarkable smallness of his feet, and the almost infantile delicacy, and vivid whiteness and purity of his hands, strikingly contrasted with his fine girth and stature. For in countries like America, where there is no distinct hereditary caste of gentlemen, whose order is factitiously perpetuated as race-horses and lords are in kingly lands; and especially, in those agricultural districts, where, of a hundred hands, that drop a ballot for the Presidency, ninety-nine shall be of the brownest and the brawniest; in such districts, this daintiness of the fingers, when united with a generally manly aspect, assumes a remarkableness unknown in European nations.

And the clergyman truly deserved it. Nature had been incredibly generous to him in terms of his appearance. In his happier moments, like now, his face was glowing with a gracious, yet gentle kindness; his build was strong and dignified; and the striking smallness of his feet, along with the almost childlike delicacy, bright whiteness, and purity of his hands, contrasted sharply with his robust figure and height. In countries like America, where there is no clear hereditary class of gentlemen, whose status is artificially maintained like racehorses and lords in royal lands; and especially in those farming areas, where out of a hundred people who cast a ballot for the Presidency, ninety-nine are the strongest and most rugged; in such places, this elegance of his fingers, combined with an overall masculine appearance, stands out in a way that is rare in European nations.

This most prepossessing form of the clergyman lost nothing by the character of his manners, which were polished and unobtrusive, but peculiarly insinuating, without the least appearance of craftiness or affectation. Heaven had given him his fine, silver-keyed person for a flute to play on in this world; and he was nearly the perfect master of it. His graceful motions had the undulatoriness of melodious sounds. You almost thought you heard, not saw him. So much the wonderful, yet natural gentleman he seemed, that more than once Mrs. Glendinning had held him up to Pierre as a splendid example of the polishing and gentlemanizing influences of Christianity upon the mind and manners; declaring, that extravagant as it might seem, she had always been of his father’s fancy,—that no man could be a complete gentleman, and preside with dignity at his own table, unless he partook of the church’s sacraments. Nor in Mr. Falsgrave’s case was this maxim entirely absurd. The child of a poor northern farmer who had wedded a pretty sempstress, the clergyman had no heraldic line of ancestry to show, as warrant and explanation of his handsome person and gentle manners; the first, being the willful partiality of nature; and the second, the consequence of a scholastic life, attempered by a taste for the choicest female society, however small, which he had always regarded as the best relish of existence. If now his manners thus responded to his person, his mind answered to them both, and was their finest illustration. Besides his eloquent persuasiveness in the pulpit, various fugitive papers upon subjects of nature, art, and literature, attested not only his refined affinity to all beautiful things, visible or invisible; but likewise that he possessed a genius for celebrating such things, which in a less indolent and more ambitious nature, would have been sure to have gained a fair poet’s name ere now. For this Mr. Falsgrave was just hovering upon his prime of years; a period which, in such a man, is the sweetest, and, to a mature woman, by far the most attractive of manly life. Youth has not yet completely gone with its beauty, grace, and strength; nor has age at all come with its decrepitudes; though the finest undrossed parts of it—its mildness and its wisdom—have gone on before, as decorous chamberlains precede the sedan of some crutched king.

This very charming clergyman didn’t lose any appeal because of his manners, which were refined and modest but also uniquely engaging, without any hint of deceit or pretentiousness. Heaven had gifted him with a handsome, silver-keyed presence to navigate this world; and he was nearly the perfect master of it. His graceful movements flowed like melodic sounds. You almost felt like you heard him rather than saw him. He seemed so wonderfully natural that Mrs. Glendinning had often held him up to Pierre as a fantastic example of how Christianity can refine and elevate someone's character and behavior; she insisted, no matter how extravagant it sounded, that she had always believed in his father’s idea—that no man could truly be a gentleman or host his own table with dignity unless he participated in the church’s sacraments. In Mr. Falsgrave’s case, this belief wasn’t entirely far-fetched. The son of a poor northern farmer who married a lovely seamstress, the clergyman didn’t have any noble lineage to validate his attractive looks and gentle demeanor; the first was simply nature’s whim, and the second was a result of his scholarly life, complemented by a taste for the finest company, which he always saw as the best part of life. If his manners corresponded to his appearance, his mind was an even better match for both. Besides his eloquent speaking in the pulpit, various articles on nature, art, and literature showed not only his refined appreciation for beauty, whether seen or unseen, but also that he had a talent for celebrating such things, which, in a more ambitious and less lazy spirit, would have surely earned him a respectable reputation as a poet by now. Mr. Falsgrave was just approaching the peak of his years; a stage in a man’s life that, for someone like him, is the sweetest, and for a mature woman, the most appealing. Youth had not yet fully faded with its beauty, grace, and strength; nor had age arrived with its weaknesses; though the most refined aspects of age—its gentleness and wisdom—had already made their way ahead, like respectful attendants preceding a crippled king’s chair.

Such was this Mr. Falsgrave, who now sat at Mrs. Glendinning’s breakfast table, a corner of one of that lady’s generous napkins so inserted into his snowy bosom, that its folds almost invested him as far down as the table’s edge; and he seemed a sacred priest, indeed, breakfasting in his surplice.

Such was Mr. Falsgrave, who now sat at Mrs. Glendinning’s breakfast table, a corner of one of her generous napkins tucked into his crisp white shirt so that its folds nearly reached the edge of the table; he looked like a priest, truly, having breakfast in his vestments.

“Pray, Mr. Falsgrave,” said Mrs. Glendinning, “break me off a bit of that roll.”

“Please, Mr. Falsgrave,” said Mrs. Glendinning, “cut me off a piece of that roll.”

Whether or not his sacerdotal experiences had strangely refined and spiritualized so simple a process as breaking bread; or whether it was from the spotless aspect of his hands: certain it is that Mr. Falsgrave acquitted himself on this little occasion, in a manner that beheld of old by Leonardo, might have given that artist no despicable hint touching his celestial painting. As Pierre regarded him, sitting there so mild and meek; such an image of white-browed and white-handed, and napkined immaculateness; and as he felt the gentle humane radiations which came from the clergyman’s manly and rounded beautifulness; and as he remembered all the good that he knew of this man, and all the good that he had heard of him, and could recall no blemish in his character; and as in his own concealed misery and forlornness, he contemplated the open benevolence, and beaming excellent-heartedness of Mr. Falsgrave, the thought darted through his mind, that if any living being was capable of giving him worthy counsel in his strait; and if to any one he could go with Christian propriety and some small hopefulness, that person was the one before him.

Whether his priestly experiences had somehow refined and spiritualized such a simple act as breaking bread, or if it was just the pristine appearance of his hands, one thing was clear: Mr. Falsgrave handled this small occasion in a way that, if seen by Leonardo, could have inspired some impressive insights for his divine paintings. As Pierre watched him sitting there, so gentle and humble; such an image of purity and cleanliness; and as he felt the warm, human energy radiating from the clergyman's strong and handsome presence; and as he remembered all the good he knew about this man, and all the good he had heard about him, and couldn’t think of a single flaw in his character; and as in his own hidden sorrow and isolation, he reflected on the open kindness and shining generosity of Mr. Falsgrave, the thought crossed his mind that if anyone was capable of giving him wise advice in his situation; and if there was anyone he could approach with Christian respect and a little hope, it was this man right in front of him.

“Pray, Mr. Glendinning,” said the clergyman, pleasantly, as Pierre was silently offering to help him to some tongue—“don’t let me rob you of it—pardon me, but you seem to have very little yourself this morning, I think. An execrable pun, I know: but”—turning toward Mrs. Glendinning—“when one is made to feel very happy, one is somehow apt to say very silly things. Happiness and silliness—ah, it’s a suspicious coincidence.”

“Please, Mr. Glendinning,” the clergyman said kindly, as Pierre quietly offered him some tongue, “don’t let me take it from you—sorry, but I think you don’t have much of it yourself this morning. I know that’s a terrible pun, but”—turning to Mrs. Glendinning—“when someone is made to feel very happy, they tend to say silly things. Happiness and silliness—ah, it’s a curious coincidence.”

“Mr. Falsgrave,” said the hostess—“Your cup is empty. Dates!—We were talking yesterday, Mr. Falsgrave, concerning that vile fellow, Ned.”

“Mr. Falsgrave,” said the hostess, “Your cup is empty. Dates! We were talking yesterday, Mr. Falsgrave, about that despicable guy, Ned.”

“Well, Madam,” responded the gentleman, a very little uneasily.

“Well, ma'am,” the gentleman replied, a bit uneasy.

“He shall not stay on any ground of mine; my mind is made up, sir. Infamous man!—did he not have a wife as virtuous and beautiful now, as when I first gave her away at your altar?—It was the sheerest and most gratuitous profligacy.”

“He's not going to stay on any of my property; I’ve made up my mind, sir. What a disgrace! Didn’t he have a wife who was just as virtuous and beautiful now as when I first gave her away at your altar? It was the most outrageous and reckless behavior.”

The clergyman mournfully and assentingly moved his head.

The clergyman nodded sadly in agreement.

“Such men,” continued the lady, flushing with the sincerest indignation—“are to my way of thinking more detestable than murderers.”

“Such men,” the lady continued, her face flushed with genuine anger, “are, in my opinion, more despicable than murderers.”

“That is being a little hard upon them, my dear Madam,” said Mr. Falsgrave, mildly.

"That's being a bit hard on them, my dear Madam," Mr. Falsgrave said gently.

“Do you not think so, Pierre”—now, said the lady, turning earnestly upon her son—“is not the man, who has sinned like that Ned, worse than a murderer? Has he not sacrificed one woman completely, and given infamy to another—to both of them—for their portion. If his own legitimate boy should now hate him, I could hardly blame him.”

“Don’t you think so, Pierre?” the lady said, turning earnestly to her son. “Isn’t the man who has sinned like that Ned worse than a murderer? Hasn’t he completely betrayed one woman and brought shame to another—both of them? If his own legitimate son were to hate him now, I could hardly blame him.”

“My dear Madam,” said the clergyman, whose eyes having followed Mrs. Glendinning’s to her son’s countenance, and marking a strange trepidation there, had thus far been earnestly scrutinizing Pierre’s not wholly repressible emotion;—“My dear Madam,” he said, slightly bending over his stately episcopal-looking person—“Virtue has, perhaps, an over-ardent champion in you; you grow too warm; but Mr. Glendinning, here, he seems to grow too cold. Pray, favor us with your views, Mr. Glendinning?”

“My dear Madam,” said the clergyman, whose gaze had followed Mrs. Glendinning’s to her son’s face, noticing a strange anxiety there. He had been intently observing Pierre’s emotions, which were hard to hide. “My dear Madam,” he said, slightly leaning over his dignified, bishop-like figure, “you might be a bit too passionate in your defense of virtue; you’re becoming quite intense. But Mr. Glendinning here seems a bit too detached. Please share your thoughts with us, Mr. Glendinning?”

“I will not think now of the man,” said Pierre, slowly, and looking away from both his auditors—“let us speak of Delly and her infant—she has, or had one, I have loosely heard;—their case is miserable indeed.”

“I won’t think about the man right now,” Pierre said slowly, looking away from both of his listeners. “Let’s talk about Delly and her baby—she has, or had one, I’ve heard vaguely; their situation is really awful.”

“The mother deserves it,” said the lady, inflexibly—“and the child—Reverend sir, what are the words of the Bible?”

“The mother deserves it,” said the lady, firmly—“and the child—Reverend sir, what does the Bible say?”

“‘The sins of the father shall be visited upon the children to the third generation,’” said Mr. Falsgrave, with some slight reluctance in his tones. “But Madam, that does not mean, that the community is in any way to take the infamy of the children into their own voluntary hands, as the conscious delegated stewards of God’s inscrutable dispensations. Because it is declared that the infamous consequences of sin shall be hereditary, it does not follow that our personal and active loathing of sin, should descend from the sinful sinner to his sinless child.”

"The sins of the father will be passed down to the children for three generations," Mr. Falsgrave said, a bit hesitantly. "But, madam, that doesn't mean the community should take it upon themselves to judge the children as if they're somehow carrying the shame of their parents, acting as the chosen guardians of God's mysterious plans. Just because it’s stated that the negative effects of sin will be inherited doesn't mean our personal and active hatred of sin should transfer from the guilty sinner to their innocent child."

“I understand you, sir,” said Mrs. Glendinning, coloring slightly, “you think me too censorious. But if we entirely forget the parentage of the child, and every way receive the child as we would any other, feel for it in all respects the same, and attach no sign of ignominy to it—how then is the Bible dispensation to be fulfilled? Do we not then put ourselves in the way of its fulfilment, and is that wholly free from impiety?”

“I get what you're saying, sir,” Mrs. Glendinning replied, blushing a bit, “you believe I'm being too judgmental. But if we completely overlook the child's background and treat the child like any other, empathizing with it in every way and not attaching any stigma—how is that in line with the teachings of the Bible? Aren't we then hindering its fulfillment, and isn't that completely lacking in respect?”

Here it was the clergyman’s turn to color a little, and there was a just perceptible tremor of the under lip.

Here, it was the clergyman's turn to blush a bit, and there was a slight tremor in his lower lip.

“Pardon me,” continued the lady, courteously, “but if there is any one blemish in the character of the Reverend Mr. Falsgrave, it is that the benevolence of his heart, too much warps in him the holy rigor of our Church’s doctrines. For my part, as I loathe the man, I loathe the woman, and never desire to behold the child.”

“Excuse me,” the lady went on politely, “but if there’s any flaw in the character of Reverend Mr. Falsgrave, it’s that his kindheartedness bends the strictness of our Church’s teachings. As for me, since I can’t stand the man, I can’t stand the woman either, and I never want to see the child.”

A pause ensued, during which it was fortunate for Pierre, that by the social sorcery of such occasions as the present, the eyes of all three were intent upon the cloth; all three for the moment, giving loose to their own distressful meditations upon the subject in debate, and Mr. Falsgrave vexedly thinking that the scene was becoming a little embarrassing.

A pause followed, during which it was lucky for Pierre that, through the social magic of moments like this, all three were focused on the tablecloth; at that moment, all three were free to lose themselves in their troubling thoughts about the topic being discussed, while Mr. Falsgrave fretted that the situation was getting a bit awkward.

Pierre was the first who spoke; as before, he steadfastly kept his eyes away from both his auditors; but though he did not designate his mother, something in the tone of his voice showed that what he said was addressed more particularly to her.

Pierre was the first to speak; as before, he resolutely avoided looking at either of his listeners; but even though he didn't mention his mother, something in the tone of his voice indicated that what he was saying was aimed more specifically at her.

“Since we seem to have been strangely drawn into the ethical aspect of this melancholy matter,” said he, “suppose we go further in it; and let me ask, how it should be between the legitimate and the illegitimate child—children of one father—when they shall have passed their childhood?”

“Since it seems like we've been oddly pulled into the moral side of this sad issue,” he said, “let's dive deeper; and let me ask, what should it be like for the legitimate and the illegitimate child—children of the same father—once they’ve grown out of childhood?”

Here the clergyman quickly raising his eyes, looked as surprised and searchingly at Pierre, as his politeness would permit.

Here the clergyman quickly looked up, appearing as surprised and curious about Pierre as his politeness would allow.

“Upon my word”—said Mrs. Glendinning, hardly less surprised, and making no attempt at disguising it—“this is an odd question you put; you have been more attentive to the subject than I had fancied. But what do you mean, Pierre? I did not entirely understand you.”

“Honestly,” said Mrs. Glendinning, just as surprised and not trying to hide it, “that’s a strange question you’re asking; you’ve paid more attention to this than I expected. But what do you mean, Pierre? I didn’t fully understand you.”

“Should the legitimate child shun the illegitimate, when one father is father to both?” rejoined Pierre, bending his head still further over his plate.

“Should the legitimate child reject the illegitimate when one father is the father of both?” Pierre replied, lowering his head even more over his plate.

The clergyman looked a little down again, and was silent; but still turned his head slightly sideways toward his hostess, as if awaiting some reply to Pierre from her.

The clergyman looked a bit down again and was quiet; he still turned his head slightly to the side towards his hostess, as if waiting for her to say something in response to Pierre.

“Ask the world, Pierre”—said Mrs. Glendinning warmly—“and ask your own heart.”

“Ask the world, Pierre,” Mrs. Glendinning said warmly, “and ask your own heart.”

“My own heart? I will, Madam”—said Pierre, now looking up steadfastly; “but what do you think, Mr. Falsgrave?” letting his glance drop again—“should the one shun the other; should the one refuse his highest sympathy and perfect love for the other, especially if that other be deserted by all the rest of the world? What think you would have been our blessed Savior’s thoughts on such a matter? And what was that he so mildly said to the adulteress?”

“My own heart? I will, Madam,” Pierre said, now looking up firmly. “But what do you think, Mr. Falsgrave?” His gaze dropped again. “Should one avoid the other? Should one deny his deepest care and true love for the other, especially if that other is abandoned by everyone else? What do you think our blessed Savior would have thought about this? And what was it that he gently said to the woman caught in adultery?”

A swift color passed over the clergyman’s countenance, suffusing even his expanded brow; he slightly moved in his chair, and looked uncertainly from Pierre to his mother. He seemed as a shrewd, benevolent-minded man, placed between opposite opinions—merely opinions—who, with a full, and doubly-differing persuasion in himself, still refrains from uttering it, because of an irresistible dislike to manifesting an absolute dissent from the honest convictions of any person, whom he both socially and morally esteems.

A quick flush of color spread across the clergyman's face, even making his forehead appear flushed; he shifted slightly in his chair and looked uncertainly from Pierre to his mother. He seemed like a clever, well-meaning man caught between opposing viewpoints—just viewpoints—who, while firmly holding and believing in two differing opinions himself, still holds back from expressing them because of an overwhelming dislike for outright rejecting the honest beliefs of anyone he both socially and morally respects.

“Well, what do you reply to my son?”—said Mrs. Glendinning at last.

“Well, what do you say to my son?” Mrs. Glendinning finally asked.

“Madam and sir”—said the clergyman, now regaining his entire self-possession. “It is one of the social disadvantages which we of the pulpit labor under, that we are supposed to know more of the moral obligations of humanity than other people. And it is a still more serious disadvantage to the world, that our unconsidered, conversational opinions on the most complex problems of ethics, are too apt to be considered authoritative, as indirectly proceeding from the church itself. Now, nothing can be more erroneous than such notions; and nothing so embarrasses me, and deprives me of that entire serenity, which is indispensable to the delivery of a careful opinion on moral subjects, than when sudden questions of this sort are put to me in company. Pardon this long preamble, for I have little more to say. It is not every question, however direct, Mr. Glendinning, which can be conscientiously answered with a yes or no. Millions of circumstances modify all moral questions; so that though conscience may possibly dictate freely in any known special case; yet, by one universal maxim, to embrace all moral contingencies,—this is not only impossible, but the attempt, to me, seems foolish.”

“Madam and sir,” the clergyman said, regaining his composure. “One of the social drawbacks we face in the pulpit is the expectation that we know more about humanity’s moral obligations than others. It’s an even bigger issue for the world that our spontaneous, informal opinions on complex ethical problems are often seen as authoritative, as if they come directly from the church itself. Nothing could be more misguided than that idea; it’s something that really throws me off and takes away the calm I need to offer a thoughtful opinion on moral matters, especially when I'm suddenly asked questions like this in conversation. I apologize for this long introduction, but I have little left to say. Not every question, even if it seems straightforward, can be answered with a simple yes or no, Mr. Glendinning. Countless factors influence all moral questions; so while conscience might clearly guide us in specific cases, it’s impossible to apply one universal principle to cover all moral dilemmas—attempting to do so seems foolish to me.”

At this instant, the surplice-like napkin dropped from the clergyman’s bosom, showing a minute but exquisitely cut cameo brooch, representing the allegorical union of the serpent and dove. It had been the gift of an appreciative friend, and was sometimes worn on secular occasions like the present.

At that moment, the napkin that looked like a surplice fell from the clergyman’s chest, revealing a small but beautifully carved cameo brooch depicting the symbolic union of the serpent and dove. It had been a gift from a thoughtful friend and was occasionally worn on non-religious occasions like this one.

“I agree with you, sir”—said Pierre, bowing. “I fully agree with you. And now, madam, let us talk of something else.”

“I agree with you, sir,” Pierre said, bowing. “I completely agree with you. And now, madam, let’s talk about something else.”

“You madam me very punctiliously this morning, Mr. Glendinning”—said his mother, half-bitterly smiling, and half-openly offended, but still more surprised at Pierre’s frigid demeanor.

“You managed to be very formal with me this morning, Mr. Glendinning”—said his mother, half-bitterly smiling and half-openly offended, but even more surprised by Pierre’s cold demeanor.

“‘Honor thy father and mother;’” said Pierre—“both father and mother,” he unconsciously added. “And now that it strikes me, Mr. Falsgrave, and now that we have become so strangely polemical this morning, let me say, that as that command is justly said to be the only one with a promise, so it seems to be without any contingency in the application. It would seem—would it not, sir?—that the most deceitful and hypocritical of fathers should be equally honored by the son, as the purest.”

“‘Honor your father and mother,’” said Pierre—“both father and mother,” he added without realizing it. “And now that I think about it, Mr. Falsgrave, and now that we’ve become so oddly argumentative this morning, let me say that while this command is rightly considered the only one with a promise, it seems to apply without any conditions. It would seem—wouldn’t it, sir?—that even the most deceitful and hypocritical father should be honored by the son just the same as the purest father.”

“So it would certainly seem, according to the strict letter of the Decalogue—certainly.”

“So it definitely seems, based on the exact wording of the Ten Commandments—definitely.”

“And do you think, sir, that it should be so held, and so applied in actual life? For instance, should I honor my father, if I knew him to be a seducer?”

“And do you think, sir, that it should be considered that way and applied in real life? For example, should I respect my father if I knew he was a seducer?”

“Pierre! Pierre!” said his mother, profoundly coloring, and half rising; “there is no need of these argumentative assumptions. You very immensely forget yourself this morning.”

“Pierre! Pierre!” his mother said, her cheeks turning red and half standing up; “there’s no need for these argumentative assumptions. You’re really losing yourself this morning.”

“It is merely the interest of the general question, Madam,” returned Pierre, coldly. “I am sorry. If your former objection does not apply here, Mr. Falsgrave, will you favor me with an answer to my question?”

“It’s just the interest of the overall question, ma’am,” Pierre replied coolly. “I apologize. If your previous objection doesn’t apply here, Mr. Falsgrave, could you please answer my question?”

“There you are again, Mr. Glendinning,” said the clergyman, thankful for Pierre’s hint; “that is another question in morals absolutely incapable of a definite answer, which shall be universally applicable.” Again the surplice-like napkin chanced to drop.

“There you are again, Mr. Glendinning,” the clergyman said, grateful for Pierre’s suggestion; “that’s another moral question that can’t be answered definitively or universally.” Once more, the napkin that looked like a surplice happened to fall.

“I am tacitly rebuked again then, sir,” said Pierre, slowly; “but I admit that perhaps you are again in the right. And now, Madam, since Mr. Falsgrave and yourself have a little business together, to which my presence is not necessary, and may possibly prove quite dispensable, permit me to leave you. I am going off on a long ramble, so you need not wait dinner for me. Good morning, Mr. Falsgrave; good morning, Madam,” looking toward his mother.

“I’m being silently criticized again, sir,” said Pierre slowly. “But I admit that you might be right once more. And now, Madam, since Mr. Falsgrave and you have some business to discuss that I don’t need to be a part of—and I might even be in the way—let me take my leave. I’m going on a long walk, so don’t wait for dinner for me. Good morning, Mr. Falsgrave; good morning, Madam,” he said, looking at his mother.

As the door closed upon him, Mr. Falsgrave spoke—“Mr. Glendinning looks a little pale to-day: has he been ill?”

As the door closed behind him, Mr. Falsgrave said, “Mr. Glendinning seems a bit pale today: has he been sick?”

“Not that I know of,” answered the lady, indifferently, “but did you ever see young gentleman so stately as he was! Extraordinary!” she murmured; “what can this mean—Madam—Madam? But your cup is empty again, sir”—reaching forth her hand.

“Not that I know of,” replied the lady, casually, “but have you ever seen a young man as dignified as he was? Incredible!” she whispered; “what could this mean—Madam—Madam? But your cup is empty again, sir”—stretching out her hand.

“No more, no more, Madam,” said the clergyman.

“No more, no more, ma’am,” said the clergyman.

“Madam? pray don’t Madam me any more, Mr. Falsgrave; I have taken a sudden hatred to that title.”

“Madam? Please don’t call me Madam anymore, Mr. Falsgrave; I’ve suddenly grown to hate that title.”

“Shall it be Your Majesty, then?” said the clergyman, gallantly; “the May Queens are so styled, and so should be the Queens of October.”

“Is it going to be Your Majesty, then?” said the clergyman, with a flourish; “the May Queens are called that, so the Queens of October should be too.”

Here the lady laughed. “Come,” said she, “let us go into another room, and settle the affair of that infamous Ned and that miserable Delly.”

Here the lady laughed. “Come on,” she said, “let's go into another room and sort out the mess with that horrible Ned and that pathetic Delly.”


V.

THE swiftness and unrepellableness of the billow which, with its first shock, had so profoundly whelmed Pierre, had not only poured into his soul a tumult of entirely new images and emotions, but, for the time, it almost entirely drove out of him all previous ones. The things that any way bore directly upon the pregnant fact of Isabel, these things were all animate and vividly present to him; but the things which bore more upon himself, and his own personal condition, as now forever involved with his sister’s, these things were not so animate and present to him. The conjectured past of Isabel took mysterious hold of his father; therefore, the idea of his father tyrannized over his imagination; and the possible future of Isabel, as so essentially though indirectly compromisable by whatever course of conduct his mother might hereafter ignorantly pursue with regard to himself, as henceforth, through Isabel, forever altered to her; these considerations brought his mother with blazing prominence before him.

The speed and unstoppable force of the wave that had initially overwhelmed Pierre flooded his mind with a whirlwind of completely new images and emotions, pushing out almost all of his previous thoughts for the moment. The things that were directly related to the significant fact of Isabel were all vibrant and alive in his mind; however, the aspects that focused more on himself and his own situation, now forever intertwined with his sister’s, were less vivid and immediate to him. The imagined past of Isabel took a mysterious grip on his father; as a result, the thought of his father dominated his imagination. Meanwhile, the potential future of Isabel, which could be so deeply impacted by whatever actions his mother might unknowingly take regarding him, now forever changed through Isabel, made his mother stand out sharply in his mind.

Heaven, after all, hath been a little merciful to the miserable man; not entirely untempered to human nature are the most direful blasts of Fate. When on all sides assailed by prospects of disaster, whose final ends are in terror hidden from it, the soul of man—either, as instinctively convinced that it can not battle with the whole host at once; or else, benevolently blinded to the larger arc of the circle which menacingly hems it in;—whichever be the truth, the soul of man, thus surrounded, can not, and does never intelligently confront the totality of its wretchedness. The bitter drug is divided into separate draughts for him: to-day he takes one part of his woe; to-morrow he takes more; and so on, till the last drop is drunk.

Heaven, after all, has shown a little mercy to the unfortunate man; the most terrible blows of fate aren’t entirely unkind to human nature. When surrounded by threats of disaster, whose ultimate outcomes are terrifyingly unclear, the human soul—either instinctively convinced that it cannot fight against the entire onslaught at once or else intentionally oblivious to the bigger picture that ominously surrounds it—whichever the case may be, the human soul, in this situation, cannot and does not face the full extent of its misery. The harsh reality is broken into separate doses for him: today he endures one part of his suffering; tomorrow he faces more; and so on, until the last drop is consumed.

Not that in the despotism of other things, the thought of Lucy, and the unconjecturable suffering into which she might so soon be plunged, owing to the threatening uncertainty of the state of his own future, as now in great part and at all hazards dedicated to Isabel; not that this thought had thus far been alien to him. Icy-cold, and serpent-like, it had overlayingly crawled in upon his other shuddering imaginings; but those other thoughts would as often upheave again, and absorb it into themselves, so that it would in that way soon disappear from his cotemporary apprehension. The prevailing thoughts connected with Isabel he now could front with prepared and open eyes; but the occasional thought of Lucy, when that started up before him, he could only cover his bewildered eyes with his bewildered hands. Nor was this the cowardice of selfishness, but the infinite sensitiveness of his soul. He could bear the agonizing thought of Isabel, because he was immediately resolved to help her, and to assuage a fellow-being’s grief; but, as yet, he could not bear the thought of Lucy, because the very resolution that promised balm to Isabel obscurely involved the everlasting peace of Lucy, and therefore aggravatingly threatened a far more than fellow-being’s happiness.

Not that in the oppression of other things, the thought of Lucy and the unimaginable suffering she might soon endure, due to the uncertain state of his own future, which was largely dedicated to Isabel; not that this thought had been completely absent from him. Cold and serpent-like, it had slithered in on his other anxious imaginings; but those other thoughts would often rise up again and absorb it, causing it to soon fade from his immediate awareness. He could now confront the prevailing thoughts about Isabel with clear eyes; but whenever the occasional thought of Lucy arose, he could only cover his confused eyes with his bewildered hands. This wasn’t the cowardice of selfishness, but the deep sensitivity of his soul. He could endure the painful thought of Isabel because he was determined to help her and ease someone else's suffering; but he couldn’t yet handle the thought of Lucy, because his commitment to help Isabel subtly involved Lucy’s lasting peace, which unnervingly threatened a happiness that was much more than just a fellow human’s.

Well for Pierre it was, that the penciling presentiments of his mind concerning Lucy as quickly erased as painted their tormenting images. Standing half-befogged upon the mountain of his Fate, all that part of the wide panorama was wrapped in clouds to him; but anon those concealings slid aside, or rather, a quick rent was made in them; disclosing far below, half-vailed in the lower mist, the winding tranquil vale and stream of Lucy’s previous happy life; through the swift cloud-rent he caught one glimpse of her expectant and angelic face peeping from the honey-suckled window of her cottage; and the next instant the stormy pinions of the clouds locked themselves over it again; and all was hidden as before; and all went confused in whirling rack and vapor as before. Only by unconscious inspiration, caught from the agencies invisible to man, had he been enabled to write that first obscurely announcing note to Lucy; wherein the collectedness, and the mildness, and the calmness, were but the natural though insidious precursors of the stunning bolts on bolts to follow.

For Pierre, his feelings about Lucy were quickly wiped away as soon as they appeared, like a haze lifting from his mind. Standing somewhat dazed on the mountain of his destiny, that part of the vast view was all foggy to him; but soon, the clouds parted, or rather, a quick tear appeared in them, revealing far below, partially shrouded in mist, the winding peaceful valley and stream of Lucy’s previously happy life. Through that quick break in the clouds, he caught a glimpse of her eager and angelic face peeking from the honeysuckle-laden window of her cottage; moments later, the stormy wings of the clouds closed over it again, and everything was hidden as before, swirling in confusion and mist. Only through some unconscious inspiration, drawn from forces unseen by man, was he able to write that first note to Lucy, which, while calm and collected, was actually a soft but insidious precursor to the overwhelming surprises that were to follow.

But, while thus, for the most part wrapped from his consciousness and vision, still, the condition of his Lucy, as so deeply affected now, was still more and more disentangling and defining itself from out its nearer mist, and even beneath the general upper fog. For when unfathomably stirred, the subtler elements of man do not always reveal themselves in the concocting act; but, as with all other potencies, show themselves chiefly in their ultimate resolvings and results. Strange wild work, and awfully symmetrical and reciprocal, was that now going on within the self-apparently chaotic breast of Pierre. As in his own conscious determinations, the mournful Isabel was being snatched from her captivity of world-wide abandonment; so, deeper down in the more secret chambers of his unsuspecting soul, the smiling Lucy, now as dead and ashy pale, was being bound a ransom for Isabel’s salvation. Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. Eternally inexorable and unconcerned is Fate, a mere heartless trader in men’s joys and woes.

But even though he was mostly wrapped up in his own thoughts and out of touch with reality, the condition of his Lucy, who was so deeply affected now, was becoming clearer and more defined, emerging from the surrounding haze, even beneath the overall confusion. When someone's feelings are profoundly stirred, the subtler parts of a person don't always show themselves in the moment; instead, like all other forces, they mostly reveal themselves in their final outcomes and consequences. There was a strange, chaotic but eerily symmetrical process happening within Pierre's seemingly disordered heart. As he made heartfelt decisions, the sorrowful Isabel was being rescued from her isolation in a world that had abandoned her; meanwhile, deep within the hidden parts of his unsuspecting soul, the smiling Lucy, now lifeless and pale, was being sacrificed as a ransom for Isabel’s freedom. Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. Fate is eternally relentless and indifferent, merely a heartless trader in people's joys and sorrows.

Nor was this general and spontaneous self-concealment of all the most momentous interests of his love, as irretrievably involved with Isabel and his resolution respecting her; nor was this unbidden thing in him unseconded by the prompting of his own conscious judgment, when in the tyranny of the master-event itself, that judgment was permitted some infrequent play. He could not but be aware, that all meditation on Lucy now was worse than useless. How could he now map out his and her young life-chart, when all was yet misty-white with creamy breakers! Still more: divinely dedicated as he felt himself to be; with divine commands upon him to befriend and champion Isabel, through all conceivable contingencies of Time and Chance; how could he insure himself against the insidious inroads of self-interest, and hold intact all his unselfish magnanimities, if once he should permit the distracting thought of Lucy to dispute with Isabel’s the pervading possession of his soul?

Nor was this general and spontaneous hiding of all the most important aspects of his love completely separate from Isabel and his decision about her; nor was this uninvited feeling in him unsupported by his own conscious judgment, whenever, under the pressure of the main event itself, that judgment was allowed a rare moment to express itself. He couldn't help but realize that any thoughts about Lucy now were worse than pointless. How could he chart out their young lives together when everything was still clouded and uncertain? Even more: feeling divinely chosen; with divine orders to support and protect Isabel through every possible twist of fate; how could he guard against the sneaky influence of self-interest and keep all his unselfish intentions intact if he allowed the distracting thought of Lucy to compete with Isabel for his heart and mind?

And if—though but unconsciously as yet—he was almost superhumanly prepared to make a sacrifice of all objects dearest to him, and cut himself away from his last hopes of common happiness, should they cross his grand enthusiast resolution;—if this was so with him; then, how light as gossamer, and thinner and more impalpable than airiest threads of gauze, did he hold all common conventional regardings;—his hereditary duty to his mother, his pledged worldly faith and honor to the hand and seal of his affiancement?

And if—though he wasn’t fully aware of it yet—he was almost superhumanly ready to sacrifice everything he held dear and cut himself off from his last hopes for ordinary happiness if it interfered with his passionate commitment;—if that was the case for him; then how light as a feather, and thinner and more insubstantial than the lightest strands of gauze, did he view all the normal social expectations;—his duty to his mother, his sworn faith and honor tied to his engagement?

Not that at present all these things did thus present themselves to Pierre; but these things were fœtally forming in him. Impregnations from high enthusiasms he had received; and the now incipient offspring which so stirred, with such painful, vague vibrations in his soul; this, in its mature development, when it should at last come forth in living deeds, would scorn all personal relationship with Pierre, and hold his heart’s dearest interests for naught.

Not that all these things were clear to Pierre right now, but they were slowly taking shape within him. He had absorbed influences from great passions; and the early stirrings that caused such painful, uncertain feelings in his soul would, in time, once fully developed and expressed in actions, completely disregard any personal connection to Pierre and dismiss his most cherished concerns.

Thus, in the Enthusiast to Duty, the heaven-begotten Christ is born; and will not own a mortal parent, and spurns and rends all mortal bonds.

Thus, in the Enthusiast to Duty, the divinely-born Christ comes into the world; He rejects any human parent and breaks all earthly ties.


VI.

ONE night, one day, and a small part of the one ensuing evening had been given to Pierre to prepare for the momentous interview with Isabel.

One night, one day, and a small part of the following evening had been given to Pierre to prepare for the important meeting with Isabel.

Now, thank God, thought Pierre, the night is past,—the night of Chaos and of Doom; the day only, and the skirt of evening now remain. May heaven new-string my soul, and confirm me in the Christ-like feeling I first felt. May I, in all my least shapeful thoughts still square myself by the inflexible rule of holy right. Let no unmanly, mean temptation cross my path this day; let no base stone lie in it. This day I will forsake the censuses of men, and seek the suffrages of the god-like population of the trees, which now seem to me a nobler race than man. Their high foliage shall drop heavenliness upon me; my feet in contact with their mighty roots, immortal vigor shall so steal into me. Guide me, gird me, guard me, this day, ye sovereign powers! Bind me in bonds I can not break; remove all sinister allurings from me; eternally this day deface in me the detested and distorted images of all the convenient lies and duty-subterfuges of the diving and ducking moralities of this earth. Fill me with consuming fire for them; to my life’s muzzle, cram me with your own intent. Let no world-syren come to sing to me this day, and wheedle from me my undauntedness. I cast my eternal die this day, ye powers. On my strong faith in ye Invisibles, I stake three whole felicities, and three whole lives this day. If ye forsake me now,—farewell to Faith, farewell to Truth, farewell to God; exiled for aye from God and man, I shall declare myself an equal power with both; free to make war on Night and Day, and all thoughts and things of mind and matter, which the upper and the nether firmaments do clasp!

Now, thank God, Pierre thought, the night is over—the night of Chaos and Doom; only the day and the fading evening remain. May heaven refresh my soul and keep me grounded in the Christ-like feeling I first experienced. May I, in all my imperfect thoughts, still align myself with the unchanging standard of what is right. Let no unmanly or petty temptation get in my way today; let no harmful stone block my path. Today, I will ignore the judgments of men and seek the approval of the god-like trees, which now seem to me a nobler race than humanity. Their lofty branches will shower me with a sense of the divine; by connecting with their strong roots, I will gain immense strength. Guide me, support me, protect me today, you powerful forces! Tie me in bonds I cannot break; take away all tempting distractions; forever today, erase the loathed and twisted images of all the convenient lies and justifications of the shallow moralities of this earth. Fill me with an intense passion for them; stuff me with your purpose right up to my limits. Let no worldly siren come to sing to me today and charm away my courage. I commit myself completely today, you powers. On my deep faith in you Invisible Ones, I bet three full joys and three full lives today. If you abandon me now—farewell to Faith, farewell to Truth, farewell to God; forever exiled from God and man, I will declare myself equal to both; free to wage war on Night and Day, and all thoughts and things of mind and matter that the heavens above and the earth below contain!


VII.

BUT Pierre, though, charged with the fire of all divineness, his containing thing was made of clay. Ah, muskets the gods have made to carry infinite combustions, and yet made them of clay!

BUT Pierre, however, filled with divine energy, was made of clay. Ah, the weapons the gods crafted to unleash endless fire, and yet they were made of clay!

Save me from being bound to Truth, liege lord, as I am now. How shall I steal yet further into Pierre, and show how this heavenly fire was helped to be contained in him, by mere contingent things, and things that he knew not. But I shall follow the endless, winding way,—the flowing river in the cave of man; careless whither I be led, reckless where I land.

Save me from being tied to the Truth, my lord, as I am now. How am I supposed to delve deeper into Pierre and reveal how this heavenly fire was kept inside him by random events and things he didn’t even know about? But I will follow the endless, winding path—the flowing river in the depths of man; indifferent to where I’m led, reckless about where I end up.

Was not the face—though mutely mournful—beautiful, bewitchingly? How unfathomable those most wondrous eyes of supernatural light! In those charmed depths, Grief and Beauty plunged and dived together. So beautiful, so mystical, so bewilderingly alluring; speaking of a mournfulness infinitely sweeter and more attractive than all mirthfulness; that face of glorious suffering; that face of touching loveliness; that face was Pierre’s own sister’s; that face was Isabel’s; that face Pierre had visibly seen; into those same supernatural eyes our Pierre had looked. Thus, already, and ere the proposed encounter, he was assured that, in a transcendent degree, womanly beauty, and not womanly ugliness, invited him to champion the right. Be naught concealed in this book of sacred truth. How, if accosted in some squalid lane, a humped, and crippled, hideous girl should have snatched his garment’s hem, with—“Save me, Pierre—love me, own me, brother; I am thy sister!”—Ah, if man were wholly made in heaven, why catch we hell-glimpses? Why in the noblest marble pillar that stands beneath the all-comprising vault, ever should we descry the sinister vein? We lie in nature very close to God; and though, further on, the stream may be corrupted by the banks it flows through; yet at the fountain’s rim, where mankind stand, there the stream infallibly bespeaks the fountain.

Wasn’t the face—though silently sorrowful—beautiful, mesmerizing? How unfathomable those amazing eyes of otherworldly light! In those enchanted depths, Grief and Beauty dove together. So beautiful, so mystical, so irresistibly captivating; it spoke of a sorrow that was infinitely sweeter and more appealing than any happiness; that face of glorious suffering; that face of touching loveliness; that face was Pierre’s own sister’s; that face was Isabel’s; that face Pierre had seen for real; into those same supernatural eyes our Pierre had looked. Thus, even before their planned meeting, he knew that, in an extraordinary way, womanly beauty, and not womanly ugliness, called him to stand up for what was right. Let nothing be hidden in this book of sacred truth. How, if approached in some dirty alley, a humped, crippled, ugly girl should grab at the hem of his garment, with—“Save me, Pierre—love me, claim me, brother; I am your sister!”—Ah, if humans were entirely made in heaven, why do we catch glimpses of hell? Why, in the noblest marble pillar that stands beneath the all-encompassing ceiling, do we ever see the dark vein? We are very close to God in nature; and even though, downstream, the water may be tainted by the banks it flows through; at the fountain's edge, where humanity stands, the stream unmistakably reflects the fountain.

So let no censorious word be here hinted of mortal Pierre. Easy for me to slyly hide these things, and always put him before the eye as perfect as immaculate; unsusceptible to the inevitable nature and the lot of common men. I am more frank with Pierre than the best men are with themselves. I am all unguarded and magnanimous with Pierre; therefore you see his weakness, and therefore only. In reserves men build imposing characters; not in revelations. He who shall be wholly honest, though nobler than Ethan Allen; that man shall stand in danger of the meanest mortal’s scorn.

So let’s not speak negatively about mortal Pierre. It's easy for me to cleverly hide these things and always present him as flawless and pure; unaffected by the inevitable nature and struggles of everyday people. I am more open with Pierre than most men are with themselves. I am completely honest and generous with Pierre; that's why you see his weaknesses, and only for that reason. In keeping things to themselves, people create strong personas; not by revealing their truths. The person who is entirely honest, even nobler than Ethan Allen, risks facing the disdain of the most ordinary person.

BOOK VI.
ISABEL, AND THE FIRST PART OF THE STORY OF ISABEL.

I.

HALF wishful that the hour would come; half shuddering that every moment it still came nearer and more near to him; dry-eyed, but wet with that dark day’s rain; at fall of eve, Pierre emerged from long wanderings in the primeval woods of Saddle Meadows, and for one instant stood motionless upon their sloping skirt.

HALF wished that the hour would arrive; half nervous that with every moment it was drawing closer to him; dry-eyed, but soaked from the dark day's rain; at dusk, Pierre stepped out from his long walks in the ancient woods of Saddle Meadows, and for a brief moment stood still on their sloping edge.

Where he stood was in the rude wood road, only used by sledges in the time of snow; just where the out-posted trees formed a narrow arch, and fancied gateway leading upon the far, wide pastures sweeping down toward the lake. In that wet and misty eve the scattered, shivering pasture elms seemed standing in a world inhospitable, yet rooted by inscrutable sense of duty to their place. Beyond, the lake lay in one sheet of blankness and of dumbness, unstirred by breeze or breath; fast bound there it lay, with not life enough to reflect the smallest shrub or twig. Yet in that lake was seen the duplicate, stirless sky above. Only in sunshine did that lake catch gay, green images; and these but displaced the imaged muteness of the unfeatured heavens.

Where he stood was on a rough dirt road, used only by sleds in the snow; right where the outlying trees created a narrow arch, a kind of fancied gateway leading to the expansive pastures rolling down toward the lake. On that wet and misty evening, the scattered, trembling elm trees in the pastures seemed to be stranded in a harsh world, yet anchored by an unexplainable sense of duty to their spot. Beyond, the lake stretched out in a sheet of blankness and silence, untouched by any breeze or breath; there it lay, unable to even reflect the tiniest shrub or twig. Yet in that lake, the still sky above was mirrored. Only in sunlight did the lake capture vibrant, green images; and even then, these just replaced the silent reflection of the unremarkable heavens.

On both sides, in the remoter distance, and also far beyond the mild lake’s further shore, rose the long, mysterious mountain masses; shaggy with pines and hemlocks, mystical with nameless, vapory exhalations, and in that dim air black with dread and gloom. At their base, profoundest forests lay entranced, and from their far owl-haunted depths of caves and rotted leaves, and unused and unregarded inland overgrowth of decaying wood—for smallest sticks of which, in other climes many a pauper was that moment perishing; from out the infinite inhumanities of those profoundest forests, came a moaning, muttering, roaring, intermitted, changeful sound: rain-shakings of the palsied trees, slidings of rocks undermined, final crashings of long-riven boughs, and devilish gibberish of the forest-ghosts.

On both sides, in the far distance, and well beyond the calm lake’s further shore, rose the long, mysterious mountain masses; covered with pine and hemlock trees, filled with nameless, misty vapors, in that dim air heavy with dread and gloom. At their base, deep forests lay still, and from their far, owl-filled depths of caves and decaying leaves, and neglected inland overgrowth of rotting wood—tiny twigs of which, in other places, many a homeless person was at that moment suffering; from out of the endless harshness of those deepest forests came a moaning, mumbling, roaring, intermittent, changeable sound: the rain-shaking of the trembling trees, sliding rocks being undermined, the final crashes of long-split branches, and the eerie whispers of the forest spirits.

But more near, on the mild lake’s hither shore, where it formed a long semi-circular and scooped acclivity of corn-fields, there the small and low red farm-house lay; its ancient roof a bed of brightest mosses; its north front (from the north the moss-wind blows), also moss-incrusted, like the north side of any vast-trunked maple in the groves. At one gabled end, a tangled arbor claimed support, and paid for it by generous gratuities of broad-flung verdure, one viny shaft of which pointed itself upright against the chimney-bricks, as if a waving lightning-rod. Against the other gable, you saw the lowly dairy-shed; its sides close netted with traced Madeira vines; and had you been close enough, peeping through that imprisoning tracery, and through the light slats barring the little embrasure of a window, you might have seen the gentle and contented captives—the pans of milk, and the snow-white Dutch cheeses in a row, and the molds of golden butter, and the jars of lily cream. In front, three straight gigantic lindens stood guardians of this verdant spot. A long way up, almost to the ridge-pole of the house, they showed little foliage; but then, suddenly, as three huge green balloons, they poised their three vast, inverted, rounded cones of verdure in the air.

But closer, on the gentle lake's near shore, where it formed a long semi-circular slope of cornfields, the small, low red farmhouse sat; its old roof covered in the brightest mosses; its north side (where the moss-wind blows from the north) also coated in moss, like the north side of any large maple tree in the groves. At one gabled end, a tangled arbor provided support and rewarded it with generous greenery, one vine reaching upright against the chimney bricks, as if it were a waving lightning rod. On the other gable, you could see the humble dairy shed; its sides tightly woven with Madeira vines; and if you had been close enough, peeking through that imprisoning lattice and the light slats covering a small window, you might have seen the gentle and contented captives—the pans of milk, the snow-white Dutch cheeses lined up, the molds of golden butter, and the jars of creamy lily. In front, three tall linden trees stood as guardians of this lush spot. Up high, almost to the roof of the house, they showed little foliage; but then, suddenly, like three huge green balloons, they lifted their three vast, rounded crowns of greenery into the air.

Soon as Pierre’s eye rested on the place, a tremor shook him. Not alone because of Isabel, as there a harborer now, but because of two dependent and most strange coincidences which that day’s experience had brought to him. He had gone to breakfast with his mother, his heart charged to overflowing with presentiments of what would probably be her haughty disposition concerning such a being as Isabel, claiming her maternal love: and lo! the Reverend Mr. Falsgrave enters, and Ned and Delly are discussed, and that whole sympathetic matter, which Pierre had despaired of bringing before his mother in all its ethic bearings, so as absolutely to learn her thoughts upon it, and thereby test his own conjectures; all that matter had been fully talked about; so that, through that strange coincidence, he now perfectly knew his mother’s mind, and had received forewarnings, as if from heaven, not to make any present disclosure to her. That was in the morning; and now, at eve catching a glimpse of the house where Isabel was harboring, at once he recognized it as the rented farm-house of old Walter Ulver, father to the self-same Delly, forever ruined through the cruel arts of Ned.

As soon as Pierre’s eyes landed on the place, he felt a shiver run through him. Not just because of Isabel, who was now there, but also because of two strange coincidences that his day had brought him. He had gone to breakfast with his mother, his heart full of anxiety about how she would react to someone like Isabel, trying to get her love. And then, out of nowhere, the Reverend Mr. Falsgrave walked in, and they talked about Ned and Delly and the entire situation, which Pierre had been afraid to discuss with his mother to understand her views and test his own thoughts. That whole issue had been completely addressed, so this strange coincidence meant he now clearly understood his mother’s feelings and had received what felt like divine warnings not to reveal anything to her. That was in the morning; now, in the evening, when he caught sight of the house where Isabel was staying, he instantly recognized it as the rented farm of old Walter Ulver, Delly’s father, who had been ruined by Ned's cruel actions.

Strangest feelings, almost supernatural, now stole into Pierre. With little power to touch with awe the souls of less susceptible, reflective, and poetic beings, such coincidences, however frequently they may recur, ever fill the finer organization with sensations which transcend all verbal renderings. They take hold of life’s subtlest problem. With the lightning’s flash, the query is spontaneously propounded—chance, or God? If too, the mind thus influenced be likewise a prey to any settled grief, then on all sides the query magnifies, and at last takes in the all-comprehending round of things. For ever is it seen, that sincere souls in suffering, then most ponder upon final causes. The heart, stirred to its depths, finds correlative sympathy in the head, which likewise is profoundly moved. Before miserable men, when intellectual, all the ages of the world pass as in a manacled procession, and all their myriad links rattle in the mournful mystery.

Strange feelings, almost supernatural, crept into Pierre. With little power to deeply move the souls of those who are less sensitive, reflective, and poetic, such coincidences, no matter how often they happen, always fill the refined individual with sensations that go beyond words. They touch on life’s most complex issues. In a flash, the question arises—chance or God? If the mind affected is also burdened by any deep sorrow, then the question becomes more intense, eventually encompassing the entirety of existence. It’s often seen that sincere souls in pain tend to ponder the ultimate reasons for things. The heart, stirred to its core, finds a shared understanding in the mind, which is also profoundly affected. Before miserable men, when they are intellectual, all the ages of the world appear as in a chained procession, and all their countless connections rattle in the somber mystery.

Pacing beneath the long-skirting shadows of the elevated wood, waiting for the appointed hour to come, Pierre strangely strove to imagine to himself the scene which was destined to ensue. But imagination utterly failed him here; the reality was too real for him; only the face, the face alone now visited him; and so accustomed had he been of late to confound it with the shapes of air, that he almost trembled when he thought that face to face, that face must shortly meet his own.

Pacing under the long shadows of the raised trees, waiting for the right time to arrive, Pierre struggled to picture the scene that was about to unfold. But his imagination let him down; the reality was too intense for him. Only the face—the face alone—occupied his thoughts. He had become so used to mixing it up with fleeting images that he nearly trembled at the thought that he would soon come face to face with it.

And now the thicker shadows begin to fall; the place is lost to him; only the three dim, tall lindens pilot him as he descends the hill, hovering upon the house. He knows it not, but his meditative route is sinuous; as if that moment his thought’s stream was likewise serpentining: laterally obstructed by insinuated misgivings as to the ultimate utilitarian advisability of the enthusiast resolution that was his. His steps decrease in quickness as he comes more nigh, and sees one feeble light struggling in the rustic double-casement. Infallibly he knows that his own voluntary steps are taking him forever from the brilliant chandeliers of the mansion of Saddle Meadows, to join company with the wretched rush-lights of poverty and woe. But his sublime intuitiveness also paints to him the sun-like glories of god-like truth and virtue; which though ever obscured by the dense fogs of earth, still shall shine eventually in unclouded radiance, casting illustrative light upon the sapphire throne of God.

And now the shadows grow thicker; the place is lost to him; only the three tall, dim linden trees guide him as he descends the hill toward the house. He doesn’t realize it, but his thoughtful path is winding, almost as if his thoughts are twisting too, hindered by lingering doubts about the true practicality of his enthusiastic decision. His steps slow as he approaches and sees a dim light flickering in the rustic double window. He instinctively knows that his own chosen path is leading him forever away from the bright chandeliers of Saddle Meadows mansion, towards the weak flicker of poverty and despair. But his deep intuition also presents to him the radiant glories of truth and virtue, which, although often hidden by the heavy mists of the world, will eventually shine through in clear brightness, illuminating the sapphire throne of God.


II.

HE stands before the door; the house is steeped in silence; he knocks; the casement light flickers for a moment, and then moves away; within, he hears a door creak on its hinges; then his whole heart beats wildly as the outer latch is lifted; and holding the light above her supernatural head, Isabel stands before him. It is herself. No word is spoken; no other soul is seen. They enter the room of the double casement; and Pierre sits down, overpowered with bodily faintness and spiritual awe. He lifts his eyes to Isabel’s gaze of loveliness and loneliness; and then a low, sweet, half-sobbing voice of more than natural musicalness is heard:—

HE stands in front of the door; the house is completely silent; he knocks; the light in the window flickers for a moment and then goes away; inside, he hears a door creaking on its hinges; then his heart races as the outer latch is lifted; and holding the light above her otherworldly head, Isabel appears before him. It's really her. No words are exchanged; no one else is present. They enter the room with the double window, and Pierre sits down, overwhelmed by physical weakness and spiritual awe. He raises his eyes to Isabel’s beautiful and lonely gaze; then a soft, sweet, half-sobbing voice that’s more than just musical is heard:—

“And so, thou art my brother;—shall I call thee Pierre?”

“And so, you are my brother; should I call you Pierre?”

Steadfastly, with his one first and last fraternal inquisition of the person of the mystic girl, Pierre now for an instant eyes her; and in that one instant sees in the imploring face, not only the nameless touchingness of that of the sewing-girl, but also the subtler expression of the portrait of his then youthful father, strangely translated, and intermarryingly blended with some before unknown, foreign feminineness. In one breath, Memory and Prophecy, and Intuition tell him—“Pierre, have no reserves; no minutest possible doubt;—this being is thy sister; thou gazest on thy father’s flesh.”

Steadfastly, with his first and last fraternal inquiry about the mystic girl, Pierre now takes a moment to look at her; and in that moment, he sees in her pleading face not only the sweet sadness of the sewing girl but also a more subtle expression reminiscent of his youthful father, strangely altered and blended with some unfamiliar femininity. In an instant, Memory, Prophecy, and Intuition tell him—“Pierre, hold nothing back; don’t have the slightest doubt;—this person is your sister; you are looking at your father's flesh.”

“And so thou art my brother!—shall I call thee Pierre?”

“And so you are my brother!—should I call you Pierre?”

He sprang to his feet, and caught her in his undoubting arms.

He jumped up and wrapped her in his unwavering embrace.

“Thou art! thou art!”

"You are! you are!"

He felt a faint struggling within his clasp; her head drooped against him; his whole form was bathed in the flowing glossiness of her long and unimprisoned hair. Brushing the locks aside, he now gazed upon the death-like beauty of the face, and caught immortal sadness from it. She seemed as dead; as suffocated,—the death that leaves most unimpaired the latent tranquillities and sweetnesses of the human countenance.

He felt a slight struggle in his grip; her head rested against him; his entire body was enveloped in the silky smoothness of her long, free-flowing hair. Pushing the strands aside, he looked at the lifelike beauty of her face and felt a deep sadness from it. She seemed as lifeless as if she were suffocated—the kind of death that leaves the hidden calmness and sweetness of a person's face mostly untouched.

He would have called aloud for succor; but the slow eyes opened upon him; and slowly he felt the girl’s supineness leaving her; and now she recovers herself a little,—and again he feels her faintly struggling in his arms, as if somehow abashed, and incredulous of mortal right to hold her so. Now Pierre repents his over-ardent and incautious warmth, and feels himself all reverence for her. Tenderly he leads her to a bench within the double casement; and sits beside her; and waits in silence, till the first shock of this encounter shall have left her more composed and more prepared to hold communion with him.

He would have called out for help, but the slow eyes opened to him; and gradually he felt the girl’s limpness fading away; and now she regains herself a bit,—and again he feels her softly struggling in his arms, as if somehow embarrassed, and unable to believe that he had the right to hold her like this. Now Pierre regrets his overly passionate and careless actions, and feels nothing but respect for her. Gently, he leads her to a bench by the window; sits beside her; and waits in silence, until the initial shock of this encounter has left her calmer and more ready to engage with him.

“How feel’st thou now, my sister?”

“How do you feel now, my sister?”

“Bless thee! bless thee!”

"Bless you! bless you!"

Again the sweet, wild power of the musicalness of the voice, and some soft, strange touch of foreignness in the accent,—so it fancifully seemed to Pierre, thrills through and through his soul. He bent and kissed her brow; and then feels her hand seeking his, and then clasping it without one uttered word.

Again, the sweet, wild power of the music in her voice, and some soft, strange hint of foreignness in her accent—so it whimsically felt to Pierre—thrilled him to his core. He leaned down and kissed her forehead; then he felt her hand reaching for his, and then clasping it without a single word spoken.

All his being is now condensed in that one sensation of the clasping hand. He feels it as very small and smooth, but strangely hard. Then he knew that by the lonely labor of her hands, his own father’s daughter had earned her living in the same world, where he himself, her own brother, had so idly dwelled. Once more he reverently kissed her brow, and his warm breath against it murmured with a prayer to heaven.

All of him is now focused on that one feeling of the clasping hand. He feels it as very small and smooth, yet oddly hard. Then he realized that through the solitary work of her hands, his own father's daughter had made a living in the same world where he, her own brother, had so carelessly existed. Once again, he kissed her forehead with respect, and his warm breath against it whispered a prayer to heaven.

“I have no tongue to speak to thee, Pierre, my brother. My whole being, all my life’s thoughts and longings are in endless arrears to thee; then how can I speak to thee? Were it God’s will, Pierre, my utmost blessing now, were to lie down and die. Then should I be at peace. Bear with me, Pierre.”

“I have no words to say to you, Pierre, my brother. Everything I am, all my life's thoughts and desires, are forever lagging behind you; so how can I talk to you? If it were God's will, Pierre, my greatest blessing right now would be to lie down and die. Then I could find peace. Please be patient with me, Pierre.”

“Eternally will I do that, my beloved Isabel! Speak not to me yet awhile, if that seemeth best to thee, if that only is possible to thee. This thy clasping hand, my sister, this is now thy tongue to me.”

“Forever will I do that, my beloved Isabel! Don’t speak to me yet, if that seems best to you, if that’s the only thing possible for you. This clasping hand of yours, my sister, this is now your way of communicating with me.”

“I know not where to begin to speak to thee, Pierre; and yet my soul o’erbrims in me.”

"I don't know where to start talking to you, Pierre; and yet my soul is overflowing."

“From my heart’s depths, I love and reverence thee; and feel for thee, backward and forward, through all eternity!”

“From the depths of my heart, I love and respect you; and I feel for you, now and forever, through all eternity!”

“Oh, Pierre, can’st thou not cure in me this dreaminess, this bewilderingness I feel? My poor head swims and swims, and will not pause. My life can not last long thus; I am too full without discharge. Conjure tears for me, Pierre; that my heart may not break with the present feeling,—more death-like to me than all my grief gone by!”

“Oh, Pierre, can’t you help me with this daydreaming, this confusion I feel? My poor head is swimming endlessly and won’t stop. I can’t go on living like this; I’m too full without a release. Please conjure up some tears for me, Pierre, so my heart doesn’t break from this feeling—more lifeless to me than all my past sorrows!”

“Ye thirst-slaking evening skies, ye hilly dews and mists, distil your moisture here! The bolt hath passed; why comes not the following shower?—Make her to weep!”

“Thirst-quenching evening skies, hilly dews and mists, pour your moisture here! The storm has passed; why doesn’t the rain come?—Make her cry!”

Then her head sought his support; and big drops fell on him; and anon, Isabel gently slid her head from him, and sat a little composedly beside him.

Then her head leaned on him for support; and large tears fell on him; and soon, Isabel gently pulled her head away and sat beside him more calmly.

“If thou feelest in endless arrears of thought to me, my sister; so do I feel toward thee. I too, scarce know what I should speak to thee. But when thou lookest on me, my sister, thou beholdest one, who in his soul hath taken vows immutable, to be to thee, in all respects, and to the uttermost bounds and possibilities of Fate, thy protecting and all-acknowledging brother!”

"If you feel like you're always behind in your thoughts about me, my sister; I feel the same way about you. I also hardly know what to say to you. But when you look at me, my sister, you see someone who has made unbreakable vows in his heart to be, in every way, and to the fullest extent possible, your protective and fully supportive brother!"

“Not mere sounds of common words, but inmost tones of my heart’s deepest melodies should now be audible to thee. Thou speakest to a human thing, but something heavenly should answer thee;—some flute heard in the air should answer thee; for sure thy most undreamed-of accents, Pierre, sure they have not been unheard on high. Blessings that are imageless to all mortal fancyings, these shall be thine for this.”

“Not just the sounds of ordinary words, but the deepest feelings of my heart should now be heard by you. You’re speaking to a human, but something divine should respond to you;—some flute in the air should answer you; because surely your most unexpected words, Pierre, have not gone unnoticed above. Blessings that can't be imagined by any mortal thoughts will be yours for this.”

“Blessing like to thine, doth but recoil and bless homeward to the heart that uttered it. I can not bless thee, my sister, as thou dost bless thyself in blessing my unworthiness. But, Isabel, by still keeping present the first wonder of our meeting, we shall make our hearts all feebleness. Let me then rehearse to thee what Pierre is; what life hitherto he hath been leading; and what hereafter he shall lead;—so thou wilt be prepared.”

“Blessings like yours only bounce back and bless the heart that spoke them. I can’t bless you, my sister, like you bless yourself by overlooking my unworthiness. But, Isabel, by holding on to the wonder of our first meeting, we weaken our hearts. So let me tell you who Pierre is, what kind of life he’s been living so far, and what kind of life he will lead in the future—so you’ll be ready.”

“Nay, Pierre, that is my office; thou art first entitled to my tale, then, if it suit thee, thou shalt make me the unentitled gift of thine. Listen to me, now. The invisible things will give me strength;—it is not much, Pierre;—nor aught very marvelous. Listen then;—I feel soothed down to utterance now.”

“Nah, Pierre, that’s my job; you’re first entitled to my story, and then, if you like it, you can give me the unentitled gift of yours. Listen to me now. The unseen things will give me strength; it’s not much, Pierre; nor anything very amazing. So listen; I feel calm enough to speak now.”

During some brief, interluding, silent pauses in their interview thus far, Pierre had heard a soft, slow, sad, to-and-fro, meditative stepping on the floor above; and in the frequent pauses that intermitted the strange story in the following chapter, that same soft, slow, sad, to-and-fro, meditative, and most melancholy stepping, was again and again audible in the silent room.

During the brief, quiet moments in their interview so far, Pierre had heard a soft, slow, sad, back-and-forth, reflective footsteps on the floor above; and during the frequent breaks that interrupted the strange story in the following chapter, that same soft, slow, sad, back-and-forth, reflective, and deeply melancholic stepping could be heard repeatedly in the silent room.


III.

“I never knew a mortal mother. The farthest stretch of my life’s memory can not recall one single feature of such a face. If, indeed, mother of mine hath lived, she is long gone, and cast no shadow on the ground she trod. Pierre, the lips that do now speak to thee, never touched a woman’s breast; I seem not of woman born. My first dim life-thoughts cluster round an old, half-ruinous house in some region, for which I now have no chart to seek it out. If such a spot did ever really exist, that too seems to have been withdrawn from all the remainder of the earth. It was a wild, dark house, planted in the midst of a round, cleared, deeply-sloping space, scooped out of the middle of deep stunted pine woods. Ever I shrunk at evening from peeping out of my window, lest the ghostly pines should steal near to me, and reach out their grim arms to snatch me into their horrid shadows. In summer the forest unceasingly hummed with unconjecturable voices of unknown birds and beasts. In winter its deep snows were traced like any paper map, with dotting night-tracks of four-footed creatures, that, even to the sun, were never visible, and never were seen by man at all. In the round open space the dark house stood, without one single green twig or leaf to shelter it; shadeless and shelterless in the heart of shade and shelter. Some of the windows were rudely boarded up, with boards nailed straight up and down; and those rooms were utterly empty, and never were entered, though they were doorless. But often, from the echoing corridor, I gazed into them with fear; for the great fire-places were all in ruins; the lower tier of back-stones were burnt into one white, common crumbling; and the black bricks above had fallen upon the hearths, heaped here and there with the still falling soot of long-extinguished fires. Every hearth-stone in that house had one long crack through it; every floor drooped at the corners; and outside, the whole base of the house, where it rested on the low foundation of greenish stones, was strewn with dull, yellow molderings of the rotting sills. No name; no scrawled or written thing; no book, was in the house; no one memorial speaking of its former occupants. It was dumb as death. No grave-stone, or mound, or any little hillock around the house, betrayed any past burials of man or child. And thus, with no trace then to me of its past history, thus it hath now entirely departed and perished from my slightest knowledge as to where that house so stood, or in what region it so stood. None other house like it have I ever seen. But once I saw plates of the outside of French chateaux which powerfully recalled its dim image to me, especially the two rows of small dormer windows projecting from the inverted hopper-roof. But that house was of wood, and these of stone. Still, sometimes I think that house was not in this country, but somewhere in Europe; perhaps in France; but it is all bewildering to me; and so you must not start at me, for I can not but talk wildly upon so wild a theme.

“I never knew a mortal mother. The farthest back I can remember doesn’t recall even a single feature of such a face. If my mother ever lived, she’s long gone and left no trace on the ground she walked. Pierre, the lips that now speak to you have never touched a woman’s breast; I feel as if I was never born of a woman. My earliest thoughts are muddled memories of an old, crumbling house in some place for which I no longer have a map. If such a spot ever really existed, it seems to have vanished from all the rest of the world. It was a wild, dark house set in the middle of a round, cleared space, deeply sloped, carved out from the heart of stunted pine woods. I always shrank back in the evening from peering out my window, fearing the ghostly pines would creep closer and stretch their grim arms to pull me into their terrifying shadows. In summer, the forest was filled with the constant hum of unidentifiable voices from unknown birds and animals. In winter, its deep snow was marked like a paper map, dotted with tracks of four-legged creatures that were never visible to the sun and had never been seen by man. The dark house stood in the round open space, with not a single green twig or leaf to protect it; exposed and unprotected in the middle of shade and shelter. Some of the windows were crudely boarded up, with planks nailed vertically; those rooms were completely empty and never entered, even though they had no doors. But often, from the echoing hallway, I looked into them with fear; the large fireplaces were all in ruins; the lower layer of bricks was burnt into a common, crumbling mass; and the black bricks above had collapsed onto the hearths, scattered with the still-falling soot of long-extinguished fires. Every hearthstone in that house had one long crack running through it; every floor sagged at the corners; and outside, the entire base of the house, resting on a low foundation of greenish stones, was covered with dull, yellow remains of rotting sills. No name, no scribbled or written thing, no book was in the house; no memorial speaking of its former occupants. It was silent as death. No grave, mound, or little hill around the house revealed any past burials of man or child. And so, with no clue to its past history, it has completely faded from my memory of where that house stood or in what region. I have never seen another house like it. But once, I saw pictures of the outside of French chateaux that vividly brought its dim image to my mind, especially the two rows of small dormer windows protruding from the inverted hopper roof. But that house was made of wood, while these are of stone. Still, sometimes I think that house wasn’t in this country, but somewhere in Europe; perhaps in France; but it all confuses me; so you mustn't be surprised at my wild talk about such a wild topic."

“In this house I never saw any living human soul, but an old man and woman. The old man’s face was almost black with age, and was one purse of wrinkles, his hoary beard always tangled, streaked with dust and earthy crumbs. I think in summer he toiled a little in the garden, or some spot like that, which lay on one side of the house. All my ideas are in uncertainty and confusion here. But the old man and the old woman seem to have fastened themselves indelibly upon my memory. I suppose their being the only human things around me then, that caused the hold they took upon me. They seldom spoke to me; but would sometimes, of dark, gusty nights, sit by the fire and stare at me, and then mumble to each other, and then stare at me again. They were not entirely unkind to me; but, I repeat, they seldom or never spoke to me. What words or language they used to each other, this it is impossible for me to recall. I have often wished to; for then I might at least have some additional idea whether the house was in this country or somewhere beyond the sea. And here I ought to say, that sometimes I have, I know not what sort of vague remembrances of at one time—shortly after the period I now speak of—chattering in two different childish languages; one of which waned in me as the other and latter grew. But more of this anon. It was the woman that gave me my meals; for I did not eat with them. Once they sat by the fire with a loaf between them, and a bottle of some thin sort of reddish wine; and I went up to them, and asked to eat with them, and touched the loaf. But instantly the old man made a motion as if to strike me, but did not, and the woman, glaring at me, snatched the loaf and threw it into the fire before them. I ran frightened from the room; and sought a cat, which I had often tried to coax into some intimacy, but, for some strange cause, without success. But in my frightened loneliness, then, I sought the cat again, and found her up-stairs, softly scratching for some hidden thing among the litter of the abandoned fire-places. I called to her, for I dared not go into the haunted chamber; but she only gazed sideways and unintelligently toward me; and continued her noiseless searchings. I called again, and then she turned round and hissed at me; and I ran down stairs, still stung with the thought of having been driven away there, too. I now knew not where to go to rid myself of my loneliness. At last I went outside of the house, and sat down on a stone, but its coldness went up to my heart, and I rose and stood on my feet. But my head was dizzy; I could not stand; I fell, and knew no more. But next morning I found myself in bed in my uncheerable room, and some dark bread and a cup of water by me.

“In this house, I never saw any living person except an old man and woman. The old man’s face was nearly black from age, covered in deep wrinkles, with his gray beard always messy and streaked with dust and crumbs. I think he worked a little in the garden or some similar spot next to the house during the summer. My thoughts are all jumbled and unclear here. But the old man and woman seem to be etched in my memory. I guess it’s because they were the only people around me back then that they have made such an impression. They rarely talked to me; but sometimes, on dark, windy nights, they would sit by the fire, stare at me, then mumble to each other before staring at me again. They weren’t entirely unkind, but, as I said, they hardly spoke to me. I can’t remember what words or language they used with each other, and I’ve often wished I could; it might at least give me a clue whether the house was in this country or somewhere across the ocean. I should mention that sometimes I have these vague memories shortly after this time of chatting in two different childish languages; one of those languages faded away as the other one grew stronger. But more on that later. It was the woman who fed me since I didn’t eat with them. Once, they sat by the fire with a loaf of bread between them and a bottle of some thin, reddish wine. I approached them and asked to eat with them, reaching for the loaf. But instantly the old man pretended to strike me but didn’t, and the woman, glaring at me, snatched the loaf and threw it into the fire. I ran frightened from the room, looking for a cat I had often tried to befriend, but for some unknown reason, I always failed. In my scared loneliness, I sought the cat again and found her upstairs, quietly scratching for something hidden among the debris of the abandoned fireplaces. I called to her because I was too scared to enter the haunted room, but she just looked at me sideways with a blank expression and continued her silent searching. I called again, and then she turned around and hissed at me; so I ran downstairs, still stung by the thought of being rejected there too. I didn’t know where to go to escape my loneliness. Finally, I stepped outside the house and sat on a stone, but its coldness chilled me to the bone, so I got up. My head felt dizzy; I couldn’t stand and fell, losing consciousness. When I woke up the next morning, I found myself in my dreary room, with some dark bread and a cup of water beside me.

“It has only been by chance that I have told thee this one particular reminiscence of my early life in that house. I could tell many more like it, but this is enough to show what manner of life I led at that time. Every day that I then lived, I felt all visible sights and all audible sounds growing stranger and stranger, and fearful and more fearful to me. To me the man and the woman were just like the cat; none of them would speak to me; none of them were comprehensible to me. And the man, and the woman, and the cat, were just like the green foundation stones of the house to me; I knew not whence they came, or what cause they had for being there. I say again, no living human soul came to the house but the man and the woman; but sometimes the old man early trudged away to a road that led through the woods, and would not come back till late in the evening; he brought the dark bread, and the thin, reddish wine with him. Though the entrance to the wood was not so very far from the door, yet he came so slowly and infirmly trudging with his little load, that it seemed weary hours on hours between my first descrying him among the trees, and his crossing the splintered threshold.

“I’ve only shared this one particular memory from my early life in that house by chance. I could share many more like it, but this is enough to show the kind of life I lived back then. Every day I spent there, everything I saw and heard became stranger and more frightening to me. To me, the man and the woman were just like the cat; none spoke to me, and none of them were understandable. The man, the woman, and the cat felt as foreign to me as the green foundation stones of the house; I didn’t know where they came from or why they were there. Again, no living human soul visited the house except for the man and the woman; but sometimes the old man would slowly trudge away to a road that led through the woods and wouldn’t return until late in the evening; he brought dark bread and thin, reddish wine with him. Although the entrance to the woods was not very far from the door, he came so slowly and unsteadily with his little load that it felt like countless hours passed between my first spotting him among the trees and him crossing the splintered threshold."

“Now the wide and vacant blurrings of my early life thicken in my mind. All goes wholly memoryless to me now. It may have been that about that time I grew sick with some fever, in which for a long interval I lost myself. Or it may be true, which I have heard, that after the period of our very earliest recollections, then a space intervenes of entire unknowingness, followed again by the first dim glimpses of the succeeding memory, more or less distinctly embracing all our past up to that one early gap in it.

“Now the wide and empty fog of my early life becomes clearer in my mind. Everything feels completely forgotten to me now. I might have gotten sick with some fever around that time, during which I lost myself for a long while. Or maybe it’s true, as I’ve heard, that after our earliest memories, there’s a time of complete unawareness, followed by the first blurry glimpses of later memories, which more or less cover all our past leading up to that one early gap in it.”

“However this may be, nothing more can I recall of the house in the wide open space; nothing of how at last I came to leave it; but I must have been still extremely young then. But some uncertain, tossing memory have I of being at last in another round, open space, but immensely larger than the first one, and with no encircling belt of woods. Yet often it seems to me that there were three tall, straight things like pine-trees somewhere there nigh to me at times; and that they fearfully shook and snapt as the old trees used to in the mountain storms. And the floors seemed sometimes to droop at the corners still more steeply than the old floors did; and changefully drooped too, so that I would even seem to feel them drooping under me.

“Regardless of how it was, I can’t remember anything more about the house in the wide open space; I don’t recall how I finally left it, but I must have been really young at the time. I do have a vague memory of being in another round, open space, but it was much larger than the first one, and there was no surrounding belt of woods. Still, it often feels like there were three tall, straight things like pine trees near me at times; and they seemed to shake and snap just like the old trees did in the mountain storms. The floors at times appeared to sag at the corners even more steeply than the old floors did, and they seemed to droop in a way that made me feel like they were sagging beneath me.”

“Now, too, it was that, as it sometimes seems to me, I first and last chattered in the two childish languages I spoke of a little time ago. There seemed people about me, some of whom talked one, and some the other; but I talked both; yet one not so readily as the other; and but beginningly as it were; still this other was the one which was gradually displacing the former. The men who—as it sometimes dreamily seems to me at times—often climbed the three strange tree-like things, they talked—I needs must think—if indeed I have any real thought about so bodiless a phantom as this is—they talked the language which I speak of as at this time gradually waning in me. It was a bonny tongue; oh, seems to me so sparkling-gay and lightsome; just the tongue for a child like me, if the child had not been so sad always. It was pure children’s language, Pierre; so twittering—such a chirp.

“Now, it feels like I first and last chattered in the two childish languages I mentioned a little while ago. There seemed to be people around me, some speaking one language and some the other; but I spoke both, though not as easily as one of them, and just starting out, really; still, the other one was gradually taking its place. The men who—as it sometimes dreamily appears to me—often climbed the three strange tree-like things, they spoke—I must think—if I truly have any thoughts about such a formless phantom—they spoke the language that I feel is slowly fading from me. It was a lovely language; oh, it feels so cheerful and bright; just the right language for a child like me, if only the child hadn’t always been so sad. It was pure children’s language, Pierre; so lively—such a chirp.

“In thy own mind, thou must now perceive, that most of these dim remembrances in me, hint vaguely of a ship at sea. But all is dim and vague to me. Scarce know I at any time whether I tell you real things, or the unrealest dreams. Always in me, the solidest things melt into dreams, and dreams into solidities. Never have I wholly recovered from the effects of my strange early life. This it is, that even now—this moment—surrounds thy visible form, my brother, with a mysterious mistiness; so that a second face, and a third face, and a fourth face peep at me from within thy own. Now dim, and more dim, grows in me all the memory of how thou and I did come to meet. I go groping again amid all sorts of shapes, which part to me; so that I seem to advance through the shapes; and yet the shapes have eyes that look at me. I turn round, and they look at me; I step forward, and they look at me.—Let me be silent now; do not speak to me.”

“In your own mind, you must now realize that most of these faint memories I have hint vaguely at a ship at sea. But everything feels unclear and vague to me. I hardly know at any moment whether I'm sharing real events or the most unreal dreams. In me, the most solid things blend into dreams, and dreams into reality. I have never fully recovered from the impact of my strange early life. This is what surrounds your visible form, my brother, with a mysterious haze; so that a second face, a third face, and a fourth face peek at me from within yours. Now, all memory of how you and I came to meet grows dimmer and dimmer in me. I find myself groping again through all sorts of shapes, which part for me; so it feels like I’m moving through the shapes, yet the shapes have eyes that watch me. I turn around, and they watch me; I step forward, and they watch me.—Let me be silent now; do not speak to me.”


IV.

FILLED with nameless wonderings at this strange being, Pierre sat mute, intensely regarding her half-averted aspect. Her immense soft tresses of the jettiest hair had slantingly fallen over her as though a curtain were half drawn from before some saint enshrined. To Pierre, she seemed half unearthly; but this unearthliness was only her mysteriousness, not any thing that was repelling or menacing to him. And still, the low melodies of her far interior voice hovered in sweet echoes in the room; and were trodden upon, and pressed like gushing grapes, by the steady invisible pacing on the floor above.

FILLED with unexplainable wonder at this strange person, Pierre sat quietly, intensely watching her slightly turned face. Her long, soft hair, the darkest shade of black, fell over her like a curtain drawn partially away from some cherished figure. To Pierre, she appeared almost otherworldly; but this otherness was simply her mystery, not something that scared or threatened him. Meanwhile, the soft melodies of her distant inner voice lingered in sweet echoes throughout the room; they were overshadowed and pressed down like bursting grapes by the steady, unseen footsteps on the floor above.

She moved a little now, and after some strange wanderings more coherently continued.

She moved a bit now, and after some odd meandering, she continued more clearly.

“My next memory which I think I can in some degree rely upon, was yet another house, also situated away from human haunts, in the heart of a not entirely silent country. Through this country, and by the house, wound a green and lagging river. That house must have been in some lowland; for the first house I spoke of seems to me to have been somewhere among mountains, or near to mountains;—the sounds of the far waterfalls,—I seem to hear them now; the steady up-pointed cloud-shapes behind the house in the sunset sky—I seem to see them now. But this other house, this second one, or third one, I know not which, I say again it was in some lowland. There were no pines around it; few trees of any sort; the ground did not slope so steeply as around the first house. There were cultivated fields about it, and in the distance farm-houses, and out-houses, and cattle, and fowls, and many objects of that familiar sort. This house I am persuaded was in this country; on this side of the sea. It was a very large house, and full of people; but for the most part they lived separately. There were some old people in it, and there were young men, and young women in it,—some very handsome; and there were children in it. It seemed a happy place to some of these people; many of them were always laughing; but it was not a happy place for me.

My next memory that I think I can somewhat depend on was another house, also located far from human settlements, in the heart of a not entirely quiet countryside. A green, slow-moving river wound its way through this area and by the house. That house must have been in some lowland since the first house I mentioned seems to be somewhere among mountains, or close to them; I can still hear the distant waterfalls; I can still see the steady, pointed cloud shapes behind the house in the sunset sky. But this other house, whether it was the second or third, I again say was in some lowland. There were no pines around it; few trees of any kind; the ground didn’t slope as steeply as it did around the first house. There were cultivated fields nearby, and in the distance, there were farmhouses, outbuildings, cattle, chickens, and many familiar objects. I'm convinced this house was in this country, on this side of the sea. It was a very large house filled with people, but they mostly lived separately. There were some old people, young men, and young women in it—some quite attractive—and there were children. It seemed like a happy place for some of these people; many of them were always laughing. But it wasn’t a happy place for me.

“But here I may err, because of my own consciousness I can not identify in myself—I mean in the memory of my whole foregoing life,—I say, I can not identify that thing which is called happiness; that thing whose token is a laugh, or a smile, or a silent serenity on the lip. I may have been happy, but it is not in my conscious memory now. Nor do I feel a longing for it, as though I had never had it; my spirit seeks different food from happiness; for I think I have a suspicion of what it is. I have suffered wretchedness, but not because of the absence of happiness, and without praying for happiness. I pray for peace—for motionlessness—for the feeling of myself, as of some plant, absorbing life without seeking it, and existing without individual sensation. I feel that there can be no perfect peace in individualness. Therefore I hope one day to feel myself drank up into the pervading spirit animating all things. I feel I am an exile here. I still go straying.—Yes; in thy speech, thou smilest.—But let me be silent again. Do not answer me. When I resume, I will not wander so, but make short end.”

“But I might be mistaken, because I can’t seem to pinpoint—within the memory of my entire past life—that thing called happiness; the kind of happiness that shows itself in laughter, a smile, or a peaceful expression. I might have been happy at some point, but I can’t recall it now. And I don’t have a deep longing for it, as if I’ve never experienced it; my spirit craves something different than happiness, as I think I have an inkling of what it is. I have endured misery, but not because I lacked happiness, nor am I asking for it. I seek peace—stillness—the sensation of simply being, like a plant drawing in life without searching for it, existing without personal feeling. I sense that there can be no true peace in being an individual. So I hope that one day I will feel myself absorbed into the universal spirit that animates everything. I feel like an outsider here. I continue to wander. —Yes; in your words, you smile. —But I want to be silent again. Please don’t respond to me. When I speak again, I won’t ramble like this, but will make it brief.”

Reverently resolved not to offer the slightest let or hinting hindrance to the singular tale rehearsing to him, but to sit passively and receive its marvelous droppings into his soul, however long the pauses; and as touching less mystical considerations, persuaded that by so doing he should ultimately derive the least nebulous and imperfect account of Isabel’s history; Pierre still sat waiting her resuming, his eyes fixed upon the girl’s wonderfully beautiful ear, which chancing to peep forth from among her abundant tresses, nestled in that blackness like a transparent sea-shell of pearl.

Reverently deciding not to give the slightest interruption or hint of a hindrance to the unique story being told to him, but to sit quietly and absorb its amazing details into his soul, no matter how long the pauses might be; and regarding less mystical aspects, convinced that by doing so he would eventually get the clearest and most complete account of Isabel’s history; Pierre continued to wait for her to continue, his eyes focused on the girl’s incredibly beautiful ear, which peeked out from among her thick hair, resting in that dark mass like a transparent pearl seashell.

She moved a little now; and after some strange wanderings more coherently continued; while the sound of the stepping on the floor above—it seemed to cease.

She shifted a bit now, and after some strange wandering, she continued more clearly; meanwhile, the sound of footsteps on the floor above seemed to stop.

“I have spoken of the second or rather the third spot in my memory of the past, as it first appeared to me; I mean, I have spoken of the people in the house, according to my very earliest recallable impression of them. But I stayed in that house for several years—five, six, perhaps, seven years—and during that interval of my stay, all things changed to me, because I learned more, though always dimly. Some of its occupants departed; some changed from smiles to tears; some went moping all the day; some grew as savages and outrageous, and were dragged below by dumb-like men into deep places, that I knew nothing of, but dismal sounds came through the lower floor, groans and clanking fallings, as of iron in straw. Now and then, I saw coffins silently at noon-day carried into the house, and in five minutes’ time emerge again, seemingly heavier than they entered; but I saw not who was in them. Once, I saw an immense-sized coffin, endwise pushed through a lower window by three men who did not speak; and watching, I saw it pushed out again, and they drove off with it. But the numbers of those invisible persons who thus departed from the house, were made good by other invisible persons arriving in close carriages. Some in rags and tatters came on foot, or rather were driven on foot. Once I heard horrible outcries, and peeping from my window, saw a robust but squalid and distorted man, seemingly a peasant, tied by cords with four long ends to them, held behind by as many ignorant-looking men who with a lash drove the wild squalid being that way toward the house. Then I heard answering hand-clappings, shrieks, howls, laughter, blessings, prayers, oaths, hymns, and all audible confusions issuing from all the chambers of the house.

“I’ve talked about the second, or really the third, place in my memory of the past, as it first came to me; I mean, I’ve described the people in the house based on my very earliest memories of them. But I lived in that house for several years—five, six, maybe even seven years—and during that time, everything changed for me because I learned more, though always in a blurry way. Some of the residents left; some shifted from smiles to tears; some wandered around all day looking lost; some became wild and unruly, and were taken away by silent men into dark places that I knew nothing about, but I heard dismal sounds through the lower floor, groans and the clanking of something heavy, like iron on straw. Occasionally, I saw coffins quietly carried into the house at noon, and in just five minutes, they would come out again, seeming heavier than when they went in; but I didn’t see who was in them. Once, I saw a huge coffin being pushed through a lower window by three silent men; I watched as it was pushed out again, and then they drove away with it. But the number of those unseen individuals who left the house was matched by other unseen individuals arriving in close carriages. Some in rags and tatters arrived on foot, or rather were brought on foot. Once, I heard terrible screams, and when I peeked out of my window, I saw a strong but dirty and disfigured man, apparently a peasant, tied with ropes held by four rough-looking men who drove him towards the house with lashes. Then I heard a chaotic mix of hand claps, shrieks, howls, laughter, blessings, prayers, oaths, hymns, and all sorts of confusion coming from all the rooms in the house.”

“Sometimes there entered the house—though only transiently, departing within the hour they came—people of a then remarkable aspect to me. They were very composed of countenance; did not laugh; did not groan; did not weep; did not make strange faces; did not look endlessly fatigued; were not strangely and fantastically dressed; in short, did not at all resemble any people I had ever seen before, except a little like some few of the persons of the house, who seemed to have authority over the rest. These people of a remarkable aspect to me, I thought they were strangely demented people;—composed of countenance, but wandering of mind; soul-composed and bodily-wandering, and strangely demented people.

“Sometimes, people with a striking appearance would enter the house—though only briefly, leaving within an hour of arriving. They had very calm expressions; they didn’t laugh, groan, weep, or make odd faces; they didn’t look endlessly tired; and they weren’t dressed in peculiar or fantastical ways. In short, they didn’t resemble anyone I had ever encountered before, except for a few individuals in the house who seemed to have authority over the others. These striking individuals, I thought they seemed oddly insane—calm on the outside, but lost in their thoughts; composed in spirit but wandering in body, and strangely deranged people.

“By-and-by, the house seemed to change again, or else my mind took in more, and modified its first impressions. I was lodged up-stairs in a little room; there was hardly any furniture in the room; sometimes I wished to go out of it; but the door was locked. Sometimes the people came and took me out of the room, into a much larger and very long room, and here I would collectively see many of the other people of the house, who seemed likewise brought from distant and separate chambers. In this long room they would vacantly roam about, and talk vacant talk to each other. Some would stand in the middle of the room gazing steadily on the floor for hours together, and never stirred, but only breathed and gazed upon the floor. Some would sit crouching in the corner, and sit crouching there, and only breathe and crouch in the corners. Some kept their hands tight on their hearts, and went slowly promenading up and down, moaning and moaning to themselves. One would say to another—“Feel of it—here, put thy hand in the break.” Another would mutter—“Broken, broken, broken”—and would mutter nothing but that one word broken. But most of them were dumb, and could not, or would not speak, or had forgotten how to speak. They were nearly all pale people. Some had hair white as snow, and yet were quite young people. Some were always talking about Hell, Eternity, and God; and some of all things as fixedly decreed; others would say nay to this, and then they would argue, but without much conviction either way. But once nearly all the people present—even the dumb moping people, and the sluggish persons crouching in the corners—nearly all of them laughed once, when after a whole day’s loud babbling, two of these predestinarian opponents, said each to the other—‘Thou hast convinced me, friend; but we are quits; for so also, have I convinced thee, the other way; now then, let’s argue it all over again; for still, though mutually converted, we are still at odds.’ Some harangued the wall; some apostrophized the air; some hissed at the air; some lolled their tongues out at the air; some struck the air; some made motions, as if wrestling with the air, and fell out of the arms of the air, panting from the invisible hug.

“Before long, the house seemed to change again, or maybe I just took in more and altered my first impressions. I was staying upstairs in a small room; there was hardly any furniture in there; sometimes I wanted to leave it, but the door was locked. Sometimes people would come and take me out into a much larger, very long room, where I would see many of the other residents of the house, who also seemed to be brought from distant and separate rooms. In this long room, they would wander aimlessly and engage in meaningless conversations. Some would stand in the middle of the room, staring blankly at the floor for hours without moving, only breathing and gazing down. Others would huddle in a corner, crouching there, just breathing and remaining in place. Some kept their hands pressed against their hearts, slowly pacing back and forth, moaning to themselves. One would say to another, “Feel it—here, put your hand in the break.” Another would mutter, “Broken, broken, broken”—and would repeat nothing but that one word. But most of them were silent and could not or would not speak, or had forgotten how. They were mostly pale. Some had hair as white as snow and were still quite young. Some always talked about Hell, Eternity, and God; others debated as if these were fixed beliefs; some disagreed, and they argued, but without much conviction either way. Once, nearly all the people present—even the silent, brooding ones, and the sluggish individuals curled up in the corners—almost all of them laughed together when, after a whole day of loud discussions, two of these predestinarian opponents said to each other, ‘You’ve convinced me, friend; but we’re even now; for I have also convinced you the other way; let’s argue it all over again; because even though we’ve changed sides, we’re still at odds.’ Some ranted at the wall; some spoke to the air; some hissed at the air; some stuck their tongues out at the air; some struck at the air; some pretended to wrestle with the air, falling out of the grasp of the invisible embrace, panting from the non-existent hug.”

“Now, as in the former thing, thou must, ere this, have suspected what manner of place this second or third house was, that I then lived in. But do not speak the word to me. That word has never passed my lips; even now, when I hear the word, I run from it; when I see it printed in a book, I run from the book. The word is wholly unendurable to me. Who brought me to the house; how I came there, I do not know. I lived a long time in the house; that alone I know; I say I know, but still I am uncertain; still Pierre, still the—oh the dreaminess, the bewilderingness—it never entirely leaves me. Let me be still again.”

“Now, just like before, you must have already suspected what kind of place this second or third house was, where I lived. But don’t say a word to me about it. That word has never come out of my mouth; even now, when I hear it, I run away from it. When I see it printed in a book, I turn away from the book. The word is completely unbearable to me. I don’t know who brought me to the house or how I ended up there. I just know I lived there for a long time; that’s the only thing I’m sure of, but I still feel uncertain. Pierre is still here, and the—oh, the dreaminess, the confusion—it never really leaves me. Just let me be quiet again.”

She leaned away from him; she put her small hard hand to her forehead; then moved it down, very slowly, but still hardly over her eyes, and kept it there, making no other sign, and still as death. Then she moved and continued her vague tale of terribleness.

She leaned away from him, placing her small, firm hand to her forehead. Then she slowly moved it down, barely skimming over her eyes, and kept it there, making no other gesture and remaining completely still. After a moment, she shifted and went on with her vague story of horror.

“I must be shorter; I did not mean to turn off into the mere offshootings of my story, here and there; but the dreaminess I speak of leads me sometimes; and I, as impotent then, obey the dreamy prompting. Bear with me; now I will be briefer.”

“I need to be more concise; I didn’t intend to drift into random side stories along the way; but the dreaminess I’m talking about sometimes takes me off track, and I feel powerless and just go along with it. Please be patient with me; now I’ll be shorter.”

“It came to pass, at last, that there was a contention about me in the house; some contention which I heard in the after rumor only, not at the actual time. Some strangers had arrived; or had come in haste, being sent for to the house. Next day they dressed me in new and pretty, but still plain clothes, and they took me down stairs, and out into the air, and into a carriage with a pleasant-looking woman, a stranger to me; and I was driven off a good way, two days nearly we drove away, stopping somewhere over-night; and on the evening of the second day we came to another house, and went into it, and stayed there.

“It finally happened that there was some sort of argument about me in the house; a dispute that I only heard about later, not at the time. Some strangers had arrived, or had come urgently, being called to the house. The next day, they dressed me in new, nice-looking, but still simple clothes, and took me downstairs, outside, and into a carriage with an unfamiliar woman who seemed kind; and we drove off for quite a distance, almost two days, stopping somewhere overnight; and on the evening of the second day, we arrived at another house, went inside, and stayed there.”

“This house was a much smaller one than the other, and seemed sweetly quiet to me after that. There was a beautiful infant in it; and this beautiful infant always archly and innocently smiling on me, and strangely beckoning me to come and play with it, and be glad with it; and be thoughtless, and be glad and gleeful with it; this beautiful infant first brought me to my own mind, as it were; first made me sensible that I was something different from stones, trees, cats; first undid in me the fancy that all people were as stones, trees, cats; first filled me with the sweet idea of humanness; first made me aware of the infinite mercifulness, and tenderness, and beautifulness of humanness; and this beautiful infant first filled me with the dim thought of Beauty; and equally, and at the same time, with the feeling of the Sadness; of the immortalness and universalness of the Sadness. I now feel that I should soon have gone,—— stop me now; do not let me go that way. I owe all things to that beautiful infant. Oh, how I envied it, lying in its happy mother’s breast, and drawing life and gladness, and all its perpetual smilingness from that white and smiling breast. That infant saved me; but still gave me vague desirings. Now I first began to reflect in my mind; to endeavor after the recalling past things; but try as I would, little could I recall, but the bewilderingness;—and the stupor, and the torpor, and the blackness, and the dimness, and the vacant whirlingness of the bewilderingness. Let me be still again.”

“This house was much smaller than the other one, and it felt sweetly quiet to me after that. There was a beautiful baby in it, and this beautiful baby was always playfully and innocently smiling at me, oddly inviting me to come and play with it, to be happy with it; to be carefree, happy, and joyful with it. This beautiful baby was the first to make me aware of my own mind, so to speak; it made me realize that I was something different from stones, trees, cats; it first dispelled the idea that all people were like stones, trees, cats; it filled me with the lovely concept of being human; it made me recognize the infinite kindness, tenderness, and beauty of humanity; and this beautiful baby initially sparked in me a vague sense of Beauty; and at the same time, a feeling of Sadness; of the immortality and universality of Sadness. I now feel that I would have left soon,—— stop me now; don’t let me go that way. I owe everything to that beautiful baby. Oh, how I envied it, lying in its happy mother’s arms, drawing life and joy, and all its constant smiling from that white and smiling breast. That baby saved me; yet still left me with vague longings. It was then that I began to reflect in my mind; to try to remember past things; but no matter how hard I tried, I could recall very little, only the confusion;—and the stupor, and the dullness, and the darkness, and the haziness, and the empty whirlwind of the confusion. Let me be still again.”

And the stepping on the floor above,—it then resumed.

And then the footsteps on the floor above started again.


V.

“I must have been nine, or ten, or eleven years old, when the pleasant-looking woman carried me away from the large house. She was a farmer’s wife; and now that was my residence, the farm-house. They taught me to sew, and work with wool, and spin the wool; I was nearly always busy now. This being busy, too, this it must have been, which partly brought to me the power of being sensible of myself as something human. Now I began to feel strange differences. When I saw a snake trailing through the grass, and darting out the fire-fork from its mouth, I said to myself, That thing is not human, but I am human. When the lightning flashed, and split some beautiful tree, and left it to rot from all its greenness, I said, That lightning is not human, but I am human. And so with all other things. I can not speak coherently here; but somehow I felt that all good, harmless men and women were human things, placed at cross-purposes, in a world of snakes and lightnings, in a world of horrible and inscrutable inhumanities. I have had no training of any sort. All my thoughts well up in me; I know not whether they pertain to the old bewilderings or not; but as they are, they are, and I can not alter them, for I had nothing to do with putting them in my mind, and I never affect any thoughts, and I never adulterate any thoughts; but when I speak, think forth from the tongue, speech being sometimes before the thought; so, often, my own tongue teaches me new things.

“I must have been nine, ten, or eleven years old when the pleasant-looking woman took me away from the big house. She was a farmer’s wife, and that became my new home, the farmhouse. They taught me how to sew, work with wool, and spin the wool; I was almost always busy now. This busyness, too, must have contributed to my awareness of myself as a human being. I started to notice strange differences. When I saw a snake slithering through the grass, its tongue flicking out, I told myself, That thing isn’t human, but I am human. When lightning struck and split a beautiful tree, leaving it to die, I thought, That lightning isn’t human, but I am human. And the same went for everything else. I can’t express this clearly; but somehow I felt that all good, harmless men and women were human beings trying to navigate a world filled with snakes and lightning, a world of terrible and mysterious inhumanity. I had no training at all. All my thoughts come from within; I don’t know if they relate to those old confusions or not; but as they are, they are, and I can't change them, because I had no part in putting them in my mind, and I don’t force any thoughts, nor do I mix them up; but when I speak, thoughts sometimes come out before I'm fully thinking them; so often, my own tongue teaches me new things.

“Now as yet I never had questioned the woman, or her husband, or the young girls, their children, why I had been brought to the house, or how long I was to stay in the house. There I was; just as I found myself in the world; there I was; for what cause I had been brought into the world, would have been no stranger question to me, than for what cause I had been brought to the house. I knew nothing of myself, or any thing pertaining to myself; I felt my pulse, my thought; but other things I was ignorant of, except the general feeling of my humanness among the inhumanities. But as I grew older, I expanded in my mind. I began to learn things out of me; to see still stranger, and minuter differences. I called the woman mother, and so did the other girls; yet the woman often kissed them, but seldom me. She always helped them first at table. The farmer scarcely ever spoke to me. Now months, years rolled on, and the young girls began to stare at me. Then the bewilderingness of the old starings of the solitary old man and old woman, by the cracked hearth-stone of the desolate old house, in the desolate, round, open space; the bewilderingness of those old starings now returned to me; and the green starings, and the serpent hissings of the uncompanionable cat, recurred to me, and the feeling of the infinite forlornness of my life rolled over me. But the woman was very kind to me; she taught the girls not to be cruel to me; she would call me to her, and speak cheerfully to me, and I thanked—not God, for I had been taught no God—I thanked the bright human summer, and the joyful human sun in the sky; I thanked the human summer and the sun, that they had given me the woman; and I would sometimes steal away into the beautiful grass, and worship the kind summer and the sun; and often say over to myself the soft words, summer and the sun.

“Up until now, I had never asked the woman, her husband, or the young girls—her children—why I was brought to the house or how long I would stay. Here I was; just like I found myself in the world; here I was; wondering about why I had been brought into the world seemed just as confusing to me as why I had been brought to this house. I didn’t know anything about myself or anything related to me; I felt my pulse and my thoughts, but I was ignorant of other things, except for this general awareness of my humanity amid the inhumanity surrounding me. However, as I got older, my mind began to expand. I started to learn things outside myself; I noticed stranger and more subtle differences. I called the woman 'mother,' and so did the other girls; yet the woman often kissed them but rarely acknowledged me. She always served them first at the table. The farmer almost never spoke to me. Months and years passed, and the young girls began to look at me differently. Then the confusion of the old stares from the solitary old man and woman by the cracked hearth of the desolate house in the empty, round space returned to me; the unsettling looks from the uncompanionable cat came back to mind, as did the overwhelming feeling of my life’s deep loneliness. But the woman was very kind to me; she taught the girls to be gentle with me. She would call me over and speak cheerfully, and I didn’t thank God—since I had never been taught about God—I thanked the bright human summer and the joyful sun in the sky; I appreciated the human summer and the sun for giving me this woman. Sometimes, I would sneak away into the beautiful grass and express my gratitude to the kind summer and the sun, often repeating to myself the gentle words, summer and the sun.”

“Still, weeks and years ran on, and my hair began to vail me with its fullness and its length; and now often I heard the word beautiful, spoken of my hair, and beautiful, spoken of myself. They would not say the word openly to me, but I would by chance overhear them whispering it. The word joyed me with the human feeling of it. They were wrong not to say it openly to me; my joy would have been so much the more assured for the openness of their saying beautiful, to me; and I know it would have filled me with all conceivable kindness toward every one. Now I had heard the word beautiful, whispered, now and then, for some months, when a new being came to the house; they called him gentleman. His face was wonderful to me. Something strangely like it, and yet again unlike it, I had seen before, but where, I could not tell. But one day, looking into the smooth water behind the house, there I saw the likeness—something strangely like, and yet unlike, the likeness of his face. This filled me with puzzlings. The new being, the gentleman, he was very gracious to me; he seemed astonished, confounded at me; he looked at me, then at a very little, round picture—so it seemed—which he took from his pocket, and yet concealed from me. Then he kissed me, and looked with tenderness and grief upon me; and I felt a tear fall on me from him. Then he whispered a word into my ear. ‘Father,’ was the word he whispered; the same word by which the young girls called the farmer. Then I knew it was the word of kindness and of kisses. I kissed the gentleman.

“Still, weeks and years passed, and my hair started to cover me with its fullness and length; now I often heard the word beautiful used to describe my hair and myself. They wouldn’t say it directly to me, but I would happen to overhear them whispering it. The word filled me with a warm, human feeling. They were wrong not to say it to my face; my joy would have been even greater if they had openly called me beautiful, and I know it would have filled me with kindness toward everyone. I had heard the word beautiful whispered now and then for a few months when a new person came to the house; they called him a gentleman. His face was amazing to me. Something oddly similar, yet different, I had seen before, but I couldn’t remember where. One day, looking into the smooth water behind the house, I saw the resemblance—something oddly familiar, yet distinct, from his face. This puzzled me. The new person, the gentleman, was very kind to me; he seemed amazed, confused by me; he looked at me, then at a small, round picture—so it seemed—which he took from his pocket but kept hidden from me. Then he kissed me and looked at me with tenderness and sadness; I felt a tear fall on me from him. Then he whispered a word in my ear. ‘Father’ was the word he whispered; it was the same word the young girls used to call the farmer. Then I knew it was a word of kindness and kisses. I kissed the gentleman.

“When he left the house I wept for him to come again. And he did come again. All called him my father now. He came to see me once every month or two; till at last he came not at all; and when I wept and asked for him, they said the word Dead to me. Then the bewilderings of the comings and the goings of the coffins at the large and populous house; these bewilderings came over me. What was it to be dead? What is it to be living? Wherein is the difference between the words Death and Life? Had I been ever dead? Was I living? Let me be still again. Do not speak to me.”

“When he left the house, I cried for him to come back. And he did come back. Everyone now called him my father. He visited me once every month or two; but eventually, he stopped coming altogether. When I cried and asked for him, they said the word Dead to me. Then the confusion of all the comings and goings of the coffins at the big, crowded house overwhelmed me. What does it mean to be dead? What does it mean to be alive? What’s the difference between the words Death and Life? Had I ever been dead? Am I alive? Let me be still again. Don’t talk to me.”

And the stepping on the floor above; again it did resume.

And the footsteps on the floor above started again.

“Months ran on; and now I somehow learned that my father had every now and then sent money to the woman to keep me with her in the house; and that no more money had come to her after he was dead; the last penny of the former money was now gone. Now the farmer’s wife looked troubledly and painfully at me; and the farmer looked unpleasantly and impatiently at me. I felt that something was miserably wrong; I said to myself, I am one too many; I must go away from the pleasant house. Then the bewilderings of all the loneliness and forlornness of all my forlorn and lonely life; all these bewilderings and the whelmings of the bewilderings rolled over me; and I sat down without the house, but could not weep.

“Months passed, and I found out that my father had occasionally sent money to the woman to keep me with her in the house; and after he died, no more money had come to her; the last penny from the previous funds was now gone. The farmer’s wife looked at me with worry and sadness, while the farmer looked at me with annoyance and impatience. I sensed that something was horribly wrong; I thought to myself, I’m an unnecessary burden; I need to leave this pleasant house. Then, all the overwhelming feelings of loneliness and hopelessness from my lonely life washed over me, and I sat outside the house, but I couldn’t cry.

“But I was strong, and I was a grown girl now. I said to the woman—Keep me hard at work; let me work all the time, but let me stay with thee. But the other girls were sufficient to do the work; me they wanted not. The farmer looked out of his eyes at me, and the out-lookings of his eyes said plainly to me—Thee we do not want; go from us; thou art one too many; and thou art more than one too many. Then I said to the woman—Hire me out to some one; let me work for some one.—But I spread too wide my little story. I must make an end.

"But I was strong, and I was a grown woman now. I said to the woman—Keep me busy; let me work all the time, but let me stay with you. But the other girls were enough to do the work; they didn't want me. The farmer looked at me, and his gaze clearly said—We don't want you; go away; you're one too many; and you're definitely more than one too many. Then I said to the woman—Find me a job with someone; let me work for someone.—But I shared my little story too broadly. I need to wrap this up."

“The woman listened to me, and through her means I went to live at another house, and earned wages there. My work was milking the cows, and making butter, and spinning wool, and weaving carpets of thin strips of cloth. One day there came to this house a pedler. In his wagon he had a guitar, an old guitar, yet a very pretty one, but with broken strings. He had got it slyly in part exchange from the servants of a grand house some distance off. Spite of the broken strings, the thing looked very graceful and beautiful to me; and I knew there was melodiousness lurking in the thing, though I had never seen a guitar before, nor heard of one; but there was a strange humming in my heart that seemed to prophesy of the hummings of the guitar. Intuitively, I knew that the strings were not as they should be. I said to the man—I will buy of thee the thing thou callest a guitar. But thou must put new strings to it. So he went to search for them; and brought the strings, and restringing the guitar, tuned it for me. So with part of my earnings I bought the guitar. Straightway I took it to my little chamber in the gable, and softly laid it on my bed. Then I murmured; sung and murmured to it; very lowly, very softly; I could hardly hear myself. And I changed the modulations of my singings and my murmurings; and still sung, and murmured, lowly, softly,—more and more; and presently I heard a sudden sound: sweet and low beyond all telling was the sweet and sudden sound. I clapt my hands; the guitar was speaking to me; the dear guitar was singing to me; murmuring and singing to me, the guitar. Then I sung and murmured to it with a still different modulation; and once more it answered me from a different string; and once more it murmured to me, and it answered to me with a different string. The guitar was human; the guitar taught me the secret of the guitar; the guitar learned me to play on the guitar. No music-master have I ever had but the guitar. I made a loving friend of it; a heart friend of it. It sings to me as I to it. Love is not all on one side with my guitar. All the wonders that are unimaginable and unspeakable; all these wonders are translated in the mysterious melodiousness of the guitar. It knows all my past history. Sometimes it plays to me the mystic visions of the confused large house I never name. Sometimes it brings to me the bird-twitterings in the air; and sometimes it strikes up in me rapturous pulsations of legendary delights eternally unexperienced and unknown to me. Bring me the guitar.”

The woman listened to me, and through her help, I moved to another house where I earned wages. My job was milking cows, making butter, spinning wool, and weaving carpets from thin strips of cloth. One day, a peddler came to this house. In his wagon, he had a guitar—an old one, but very pretty, even though it had broken strings. He had gotten it sneakily in part exchange from the servants of a grand house not far away. Despite the broken strings, it looked very graceful and beautiful to me; I sensed there was music hidden within it, even though I had never seen a guitar before or heard of one. I felt a strange humming in my heart that seemed to predict the sounds of the guitar. Deep down, I knew the strings weren’t right. I said to the man, "I will buy this thing you call a guitar. But you must replace the strings." So he searched for them, brought back new strings, and then restrung and tuned the guitar for me. With part of my earnings, I bought the guitar. I took it straight to my little room in the attic and gently laid it on my bed. Then I whispered and sang to it, very quietly, so softly that I could barely hear myself. I changed the way I sang and murmured, continuing softly, little by little. Suddenly, I heard a sweet sound—so lovely and soft that it was beyond description. I clapped my hands; the guitar was speaking to me; the dear guitar was singing to me, murmuring and singing to me. Then I sang and murmured to it with a different tone, and once again it replied from another string; it responded to me with a new string. The guitar felt human; it taught me the secrets of playing; it guided me on how to play. I’ve never had a music teacher except for the guitar. I became a loving friend to it, a true heart friend. It sings to me as I sing to it. My guitar and I share a mutual love. All the wonders that are unimaginable and unspeakable are expressed in the mysterious melodies of the guitar. It knows all my past. Sometimes it plays the mystical visions of that confusing large house I never name. Other times, it brings me the sounds of birds chirping in the air; and sometimes it sparks within me intense feelings of legendary joys that I have never experienced and don’t know. Bring me the guitar.


VI.

ENTRANCED, lost, as one wandering bedazzled and amazed among innumerable dancing lights, Pierre had motionlessly listened to this abundant-haired, and large-eyed girl of mystery.

ENTRANCED, lost, like someone wandering, dazzled and amazed among countless dancing lights, Pierre had listened quietly to this mysterious girl with abundant hair and large eyes.

“Bring me the guitar!”

"Hand me the guitar!"

Starting from his enchantment, Pierre gazed round the room, and saw the instrument leaning against a corner. Silently he brought it to the girl, and silently sat down again.

Starting from his fascination, Pierre looked around the room and noticed the instrument resting in the corner. Quietly, he brought it to the girl and quietly sat down again.

“Now listen to the guitar; and the guitar shall sing to thee the sequel of my story; for not in words can it be spoken. So listen to the guitar.”

“Now listen to the guitar; and the guitar will tell you the rest of my story; because it can't be expressed in words. So listen to the guitar.”

Instantly the room was populous with sounds of melodiousness, and mournfulness, and wonderfulness; the room swarmed with the unintelligible but delicious sounds. The sounds seemed waltzing in the room; the sounds hung pendulous like glittering icicles from the corners of the room; and fell upon him with a ringing silveryness; and were drawn up again to the ceiling, and hung pendulous again, and dropt down upon him again with the ringing silveryness. Fire-flies seemed buzzing in the sounds; summer-lightnings seemed vividly yet softly audible in the sounds.

Instantly, the room filled with beautiful, sad, and amazing sounds; it was alive with these delightful, confusing noises. The sounds seemed to dance around the space; they hung like sparkling icicles in the corners and fell on him with a ringing brightness, only to rise back up to the ceiling and drop down again with that same bright chime. It felt like fireflies were buzzing within the sounds, and summer lightning was softly yet vividly present in them.

And still the wild girl played on the guitar; and her long dark shower of curls fell over it, and vailed it; and still, out from the vail came the swarming sweetness, and the utter unintelligibleness, but the infinite significancies of the sounds of the guitar.

And still the wild girl played on the guitar; her long dark curls fell over it, covering it; and still, from behind the curtain of hair came the overwhelming sweetness and the complete mystery, but the endless meanings of the sounds of the guitar.

“Girl of all-bewildering mystery!” cried Pierre—“Speak to me;—sister, if thou indeed canst be a thing that’s mortal—speak to me, if thou be Isabel!”

“Girl of all-bewildering mystery!” cried Pierre—“Talk to me;—sister, if you really can be a mortal being—speak to me, if you are Isabel!”

“Mystery! Mystery!
  Mystery of Isabel!
  Mystery! Mystery!
  Isabel and Mystery!”

Among the waltzings, and the droppings, and the swarmings of the sounds, Pierre now heard the tones above deftly stealing and winding among the myriad serpentinings of the other melody:—deftly stealing and winding as respected the instrumental sounds, but in themselves wonderfully and abandonedly free and bold—bounding and rebounding as from multitudinous reciprocal walls; while with every syllable the hair-shrouded form of Isabel swayed to and fro with a like abandonment, and suddenness, and wantonness:—then it seemed not like any song; seemed not issuing from any mouth; but it came forth from beneath the same vail concealing the guitar.

Among the waltzes, the drops, and the swarms of sounds, Pierre now heard the tones gracefully weaving in and out of the countless twists of the other melody:—gracefully weaving concerning the instrumental sounds, but in themselves wonderfully and freely bold—bouncing as if from many responding walls; while with every syllable, the hair-covered figure of Isabel swayed back and forth with the same abandon, suddenness, and playfulness:—then it seemed like no song at all; it didn't seem to come from any mouth; instead, it emerged from beneath the same veil that covered the guitar.

Now a strange wild heat burned upon his brow; he put his hand to it. Instantly the music changed; and drooped and changed; and changed and changed; and lingeringly retreated as it changed; and at last was wholly gone.

Now a strange, intense heat burned on his forehead; he placed his hand there. Instantly, the music shifted; it faded and transformed; it changed and changed again; and slowly withdrew as it altered; and finally, it completely disappeared.

Pierre was the first to break the silence.

Pierre was the first to speak up.

“Isabel, thou hast filled me with such wonderings; I am so distraught with thee, that the particular things I had to tell to thee, when I hither came; these things I can not now recall, to speak them to thee:—I feel that something is still unsaid by thee, which at some other time thou wilt reveal. But now I can stay no longer with thee. Know me eternally as thy loving, revering, and most marveling brother, who will never desert thee, Isabel. Now let me kiss thee and depart, till to-morrow night; when I shall open to thee all my mind, and all my plans concerning me and thee. Let me kiss thee, and adieu!”

“Isabel, you have filled me with such wonder; I’m so troubled by you that the specific things I wanted to tell you when I got here—I can’t remember them now to say them to you: I feel that there’s still something left unsaid by you, which you will reveal at another time. But now I can’t stay with you any longer. Know me always as your loving, respectful, and amazed brother, who will never leave you, Isabel. Now let me kiss you and go, until tomorrow night; when I will share everything on my mind and all my plans about you and me. Let me kiss you, and goodbye!”

As full of unquestioning and unfaltering faith in him, the girl sat motionless and heard him out. Then silently rose, and turned her boundlessly confiding brow to him. He kissed it thrice, and without another syllable left the place.

As she sat there, completely trusting and unwavering in her faith in him, the girl remained still and listened to him. Then she silently stood up and presented her deeply trusting forehead to him. He kissed it three times and, without saying another word, left the place.

BOOK VII.
INTERMEDIATE BETWEEN PIERRE’S TWO INTERVIEWS WITH ISABEL AT THE FARM-HOUSE.

I.

NOT immediately, not for a long time, could Pierre fully, or by any approximation, realize the scene which he had just departed. But the vague revelation was now in him, that the visible world, some of which before had seemed but too common and prosaic to him; and but too intelligible; he now vaguely felt, that all the world, and every misconceivedly common and prosaic thing in it, was steeped a million fathoms in a mysteriousness wholly hopeless of solution. First, the enigmatical story of the girl, and the profound sincerity of it, and yet the ever accompanying haziness, obscurity, and almost miraculousness of it;—first, this wonderful story of the girl had displaced all commonness and prosaicness from his soul; and then, the inexplicable spell of the guitar, and the subtleness of the melodious appealings of the few brief words from Isabel sung in the conclusion of the melody—all this had bewitched him, and enchanted him, till he had sat motionless and bending over, as a tree-transformed and mystery-laden visitant, caught and fast bound in some necromancer’s garden.

NOT immediately, and not for a long time, could Pierre fully grasp or even approximate the scene he had just left. But he now had a vague realization that the visible world, which once seemed too ordinary and mundane to him; and too clear-cut; he now vaguely understood that everything in the world, even the things he previously thought were common and simple, was steeped in a mystery that was completely unsolvable. First, there was the enigmatic story of the girl, so sincere yet shrouded in haziness, obscurity, and almost miraculousness; this captivating story of the girl had wiped away all sense of the ordinary from his soul. Then there was the inexplicable charm of the guitar, and the subtle, melodic appeal of the few brief words from Isabel sung at the end of the melody—all of this had enchanted him, leaving him motionless and bent over, like a tree transformed and laden with mystery, caught and bound in some sorcerer's garden.

But as now burst from these sorceries, he hurried along the open road, he strove for the time to dispel the mystic feeling, or at least postpone it for a while, until he should have time to rally both body and soul from the more immediate consequences of that day’s long fastings and wanderings, and that night’s never-to-be-forgotten scene. He now endeavored to beat away all thoughts from him, but of present bodily needs.

But as he broke free from these spells, he hurried down the open road, trying to shake off the mystical feeling, or at least delay it for a bit, until he could gather both his body and soul after the exhausting day of fasting and wandering, and the unforgettable scene of that night. He now focused on pushing aside all thoughts except for his immediate physical needs.

Passing through the silent village, he heard the clock tell the mid hour of night. Hurrying on, he entered the mansion by a private door, the key of which hung in a secret outer place. Without undressing, he flung himself upon the bed. But remembering himself again, he rose and adjusted his alarm-clock, so that it would emphatically repeat the hour of five. Then to bed again, and driving off all intrudings of thoughtfulness, and resolutely bending himself to slumber, he by-and-by fell into its at first reluctant, but at last welcoming and hospitable arms. At five he rose; and in the east saw the first spears of the advanced-guard of the day.

Passing through the quiet village, he heard the clock chime the midnight hour. Rushing ahead, he entered the mansion through a private door, with the key hanging in a secret spot outside. Without changing his clothes, he threw himself onto the bed. But then he remembered and got up to set his alarm clock to ring loudly at five. After that, he got back into bed, pushing away any intrusive thoughts, and determined to fall asleep. Eventually, he slipped into sleep, which at first felt reluctant but then became welcoming and comforting. At five, he got up and saw the first light of dawn breaking in the east.

It had been his purpose to go forth at that early hour, and so avoid all casual contact with any inmate of the mansion, and spend the entire day in a second wandering in the woods, as the only fit prelude to the society of so wild a being as his new-found sister Isabel. But the familiar home-sights of his chamber strangely worked upon him. For an instant, he almost could have prayed Isabel back into the wonder-world from which she had so slidingly emerged. For an instant, the fond, all-understood blue eyes of Lucy displaced the as tender, but mournful and inscrutable dark glance of Isabel. He seemed placed between them, to choose one or the other; then both seemed his; but into Lucy’s eyes there stole half of the mournfulness of Isabel’s, without diminishing hers.

He intended to head out that early, to avoid running into anyone in the mansion and to spend the whole day wandering in the woods, which felt like the perfect warm-up for being around someone as wild as his newfound sister Isabel. But the familiar sights of his room affected him in an unexpected way. For a moment, he almost wished he could bring Isabel back from the enchanting world she had just slipped away from. For an instant, the affectionate, familiar blue eyes of Lucy replaced the equally tender but sad and mysterious dark look of Isabel. He felt caught between them, forced to choose one over the other; then both felt like his; yet Lucy’s eyes became touched by a part of Isabel’s sadness without losing their own light.

Again the faintness, and the long life-weariness benumbed him. He left the mansion, and put his bare forehead against the restoring wind. He re-entered the mansion, and adjusted the clock to repeat emphatically the call of seven; and then lay upon his bed. But now he could not sleep. At seven he changed his dress; and at half-past eight went below to meet his mother at the breakfast table, having a little before overheard her step upon the stair.

Again the weakness and the exhausting weight of life overwhelmed him. He stepped outside the mansion and pressed his bare forehead against the refreshing wind. He went back inside, set the clock to ring clearly at seven, and then lay down on his bed. But now he couldn’t sleep. At seven, he changed his clothes; and at half-past eight, he went downstairs to meet his mother at the breakfast table, having just heard her footsteps on the stairs.


II.

HE saluted her; but she looked gravely and yet alarmedly, and then in a sudden, illy-repressed panic, upon him. Then he knew he must be wonderfully changed. But his mother spoke not to him, only to return his good-morning. He saw that she was deeply offended with him, on many accounts; moreover, that she was vaguely frightened about him, and finally that notwithstanding all this, her stung pride conquered all apprehensiveness in her; and he knew his mother well enough to be very certain that, though he should unroll a magician’s parchment before her now, she would verbally express no interest, and seek no explanation from him. Nevertheless, he could not entirely abstain from testing the power of her reservedness.

He greeted her; but she looked at him seriously and a bit frightened, and then suddenly, in a poorly concealed panic, turned her gaze to him. In that moment, he realized he must have changed a lot. However, his mother didn’t address him, only returned his good morning. He noticed she was really upset with him for several reasons; on top of that, she seemed vaguely worried about him. Ultimately, despite all this, her wounded pride overshadowed any fear she might have felt, and he truly knew his mother well enough to be certain that even if he unfolded a magician’s scroll in front of her right now, she wouldn’t show any verbal interest or ask him to explain. Still, he couldn’t completely resist trying to test how far her composure would go.

“I have been quite an absentee, sister Mary,” said he, with ill-affected pleasantness.

"I've been quite absent, Sister Mary," he said, forcing a cheerful tone.

“Yes, Pierre. How does the coffee suit you this morning? It is some new coffee.”

“Yeah, Pierre. How do you like the coffee this morning? It’s a new blend.”

“It is very nice; very rich and odorous, sister Mary.”

“It’s really nice; very rich and fragrant, sister Mary.”

“I am glad you find it so, Pierre.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, Pierre.”

“Why don’t you call me brother Pierre?”

“Why don’t you call me Brother Pierre?”

“Have I not called you so? Well, then, brother Pierre,—is that better?”

“Did I not call you that? Well, then, brother Pierre—does that sound better?”

“Why do you look so indifferently and icily upon me, sister Mary?”

“Why do you look at me so coldly and indifferently, sister Mary?”

“Do I look indifferently and icily? Then I will endeavor to look otherwise. Give me the toast there, Pierre.”

“Do I seem indifferent and cold? Then I'll try to look different. Pass me the toast over there, Pierre.”

“You are very deeply offended at me, my dear mother.”

“You're really upset with me, my dear mother.”

“Not in the slightest degree, Pierre. Have you seen Lucy lately?”

“Not at all, Pierre. Have you seen Lucy recently?”

“I have not, my mother.”

"I haven't, my mom."

“Ah! A bit of salmon, Pierre.”

“Ah! A bit of salmon, Pierre.”

“You are too proud to show toward me what you are this moment feeling, my mother.”

“You're too proud to show me what you're feeling right now, Mom.”

Mrs. Glendinning slowly rose to her feet, and her full stature of womanly beauty and majesty stood imposingly over him.

Mrs. Glendinning slowly got to her feet, her complete figure of feminine beauty and grace towering over him.

“Tempt me no more, Pierre. I will ask no secret from thee; all shall be voluntary between us, as it ever has been, until very lately, or all shall be nothing between us. Beware of me, Pierre. There lives not that being in the world of whom thou hast more reason to beware, so you continue but a little longer to act thus with me.”

“Don’t tempt me anymore, Pierre. I won’t ask you for any secrets; everything between us will be voluntary, as it always has been until recently, or it will be nothing at all. Be careful of me, Pierre. No one in this world is someone you should beware of more than me, if you keep treating me this way for much longer.”

She reseated herself, and spoke no more. Pierre kept silence; and after snatching a few mouthfuls of he knew not what, silently quitted the table, and the room, and the mansion.

She sat down again and didn't say anything else. Pierre stayed quiet, and after grabbing a few bites of food he didn't even recognize, he silently left the table, the room, and the house.


III.

AS the door of the breakfast-room closed upon Pierre, Mrs. Glendinning rose, her fork unconsciously retained in her hand. Presently, as she paced the room in deep, rapid thought, she became conscious of something strange in her grasp, and without looking at it, to mark what it was, impulsively flung it from her. A dashing noise was heard, and then a quivering. She turned; and hanging by the side of Pierre’s portrait, she saw her own smiling picture pierced through, and the fork, whose silver tines had caught in the painted bosom, vibratingly rankled in the wound.

As the door to the breakfast room closed behind Pierre, Mrs. Glendinning stood up, her fork still unconsciously in her hand. After a moment of pacing the room, lost in deep thought, she noticed something odd in her grip. Without looking at it to see what it was, she impulsively tossed it away. There was a loud clatter, followed by a quivering sound. She turned around and saw her own smiling portrait, pierced through, hanging next to Pierre’s picture, with the fork's silver tines caught in the painted surface, vibrating in the wound.

She advanced swiftly to the picture, and stood intrepidly before it.

She moved quickly to the picture and stood confidently in front of it.

“Yes, thou art stabbed! but the wrong hand stabbed thee; this should have been thy silver blow,” turning to Pierre’s portrait face. “Pierre, Pierre, thou hast stabbed me with a poisoned point. I feel my blood chemically changing in me. I, the mother of the only surnamed Glendinning, I feel now as though I had borne the last of a swiftly to be extinguished race. For swiftly to be extinguished is that race, whose only heir but so much as impends upon a deed of shame. And some deed of shame, or something most dubious and most dark, is in thy soul, or else some belying specter, with a cloudy, shame-faced front, sat at yon seat but now! What can it be? Pierre, unbosom. Smile not so lightly upon my heavy grief. Answer; what is it, boy? Can it? can it? no—yes—surely—can it? it can not be! But he was not at Lucy’s yesterday; nor was she here; and she would not see me when I called. What can this bode? But not a mere broken match—broken as lovers sometimes break, to mend the break with joyful tears, so soon again—not a mere broken match can break my proud heart so. If that indeed be part, it is not all. But no, no, no; it can not, can not be. He would not, could not, do so mad, so impious a thing. It was a most surprising face, though I confessed it not to him, nor even hinted that I saw it. But no, no, no, it can not be. Such young peerlessness in such humbleness, can not have an honest origin. Lilies are not stalked on weeds, though polluted, they sometimes may stand among them. She must be both poor and vile—some chance-blow of a splendid, worthless rake, doomed to inherit both parts of her infecting portion—vileness and beauty. No, I will not think it of him. But what then? Sometimes I have feared that my pride would work me some woe incurable, by closing both my lips, and varnishing all my front, where I perhaps ought to be wholly in the melted and invoking mood. But who can get at one’s own heart, to mend it? Right one’s self against another, that, one may sometimes do; but when that other is one’s own self, these ribs forbid. Then I will live my nature out. I will stand on pride. I will not budge. Let come what will, I shall not half-way run to meet it, to beat it off. Shall a mother abase herself before her stripling boy? Let him tell me of himself, or let him slide adown!”

“Yes, you’re stabbed! But it was the wrong person who did it; this should have been your silver blow,” turning to Pierre’s portrait face. “Pierre, Pierre, you’ve stabbed me with a poisoned blade. I can feel my blood changing inside me. I, the mother of the only Glendinning, feel like I have given birth to the last of a race that’s about to vanish. And that race is quickly fading, whose only heir is hovering over an act of shame. There’s definitely something shameful or dark in your soul, or perhaps a troubling specter, with a shadowy, shameful appearance, sat over there just now! What could it be? Pierre, open up. Don’t smile so lightly at my heavy grief. Answer me; what is it, boy? Could it? Can it? No—yes—surely—can it? It can’t be! But he wasn’t with Lucy yesterday; nor was she here; and she wouldn’t see me when I called. What could this mean? But it’s not just a broken match—not like the way lovers sometimes break apart just to patch things up with tears soon after—not a mere broken match can break my proud heart like this. If that’s part of it, it’s not all. But no, no, no; it can’t be, it can’t! He wouldn’t, couldn’t do such a mad and wicked thing. It was the most surprising face, though I never admitted it to him, nor even hinted that I saw it. But no, no, no, it can’t be. Such youthful perfection in such humility can’t have an honest origin. Lilies don’t grow on weeds; though sometimes they may stand among them, they’re still polluted. She must be both poor and vile—a mere chance encounter with a splendid, worthless rogue, doomed to inherit both parts of her tainted legacy—vileness and beauty. No, I won’t think that about him. But what then? Sometimes I’ve feared that my pride might lead me to some irreversible grief, by keeping my lips shut and painting over my front, when I should be fully melted and invoking emotions. But who can reach into their own heart to heal it? You might confront someone else, but when that other is your own self, these ribs forbid it. Then I will live as my nature dictates. I will stand on my pride. I won’t budge. Whatever comes, I won’t run halfway to meet it and fend it off. Should a mother humiliate herself before her boy? Let him tell me about himself, or let him slide away!”


IV.

PIERRE plunged deep into the woods, and paused not for several miles; paused not till he came to a remarkable stone, or rather, smoothed mass of rock, huge as a barn, which, wholly isolated horizontally, was yet sweepingly overarched by beech-trees and chestnuts.

PIERRE went deep into the woods and didn’t stop for several miles; he didn’t stop until he reached an impressive stone, or more accurately, a large, flattened rock, as big as a barn, which, while completely isolated on the ground, was gracefully overshadowed by beech and chestnut trees.

It was shaped something like a lengthened egg, but flattened more; and, at the ends, pointed more; and yet not pointed, but irregularly wedge-shaped. Somewhere near the middle of its under side, there was a lateral ridge; and an obscure point of this ridge rested on a second lengthwise-sharpened rock, slightly protruding from the ground. Beside that one obscure and minute point of contact, the whole enormous and most ponderous mass touched not another object in the wide terraqueous world. It was a breathless thing to see. One broad haunched end hovered within an inch of the soil, all along to the point of teetering contact; but yet touched not the soil. Many feet from that—beneath one part of the opposite end, which was all seamed and half-riven—the vacancy was considerably larger, so as to make it not only possible, but convenient to admit a crawling man; yet no mortal being had ever been known to have the intrepid heart to crawl there.

It was shaped somewhat like an elongated egg, but flatter; and at the ends, it was more pointed, though not sharply pointed—rather irregularly wedge-shaped. Near the middle of its underside, there was a lateral ridge, and a small part of this ridge rested on a second sharpened rock that slightly jutted out of the ground. Aside from that one tiny point of contact, the entire massive weight didn’t touch anything else in the vast watery world. It was an astonishing sight. One broad, rounded end hovered just an inch above the ground, right at the teetering point of contact; yet it didn’t touch the soil. Many feet away, beneath part of the opposite end, which was all cracked and partially split, there was a much larger gap, making it not only possible but easy for a crawling person to fit in; however, no one had ever been known to have the daring to crawl there.

It might well have been the wonder of all the country round. But strange to tell, though hundreds of cottage hearthstones—where, of long winter-evenings, both old men smoked their pipes and young men shelled their corn—surrounded it, at no very remote distance, yet had the youthful Pierre been the first known publishing discoverer of this stone, which he had thereupon fancifully christened the Memnon Stone. Possibly, the reason why this singular object had so long remained unblazoned to the world, was not so much because it had never before been lighted on—though indeed, both belted and topped by the dense deep luxuriance of the aboriginal forest, it lay like Captain Kidd’s sunken hull in the gorge of the river Hudson’s Highlands,—its crown being full eight fathoms under high-foliage mark during the great spring-tide of foliage;—and besides this, the cottagers had no special motive for visiting its more immediate vicinity at all; their timber and fuel being obtained from more accessible woodlands—as because, even, if any of the simple people should have chanced to have beheld it, they, in their hoodwinked unappreciativeness, would not have accounted it any very marvelous sight, and therefore, would never have thought it worth their while to publish it abroad. So that in real truth, they might have seen it, and yet afterward have forgotten so inconsiderable a circumstance. In short, this wondrous Memnon Stone could be no Memnon Stone to them; nothing but a huge stumbling-block, deeply to be regretted as a vast prospective obstacle in the way of running a handy little cross-road through that wild part of the Manor.

It might have been the talk of the entire region. But strangely enough, even though hundreds of cottage hearths—where, on long winter evenings, older men smoked their pipes and younger men shelled their corn—surrounded it not too far away, young Pierre was the first to discover this stone, which he whimsically named the Memnon Stone. Perhaps the reason this unique object remained unknown to the world for so long wasn't because it had never been found before—though it was hidden deep under the dense foliage of the original forest, like Captain Kidd’s sunken ship in the gorge of the Hudson River—it lay about eight fathoms below the high mark of the leaves during the spring tide. Besides, the local folks had no real reason to visit its immediate area; they got their timber and fuel from easier-to-reach woodlands. Even if someone from the simple folk had caught a glimpse of it, they likely would not have thought it a remarkable sight, so they wouldn't have bothered to share it with anyone. As a result, they might have seen it and yet later completely forgotten such a trivial detail. In short, this impressive Memnon Stone didn’t mean anything to them; it was just a big stumbling block, sadly viewed as a potential obstacle in creating a handy little crossroad through that wild part of the Manor.

Now one day while reclining near its flank, and intently eying it, and thinking how surprising it was, that in so long-settled a country he should have been the first discerning and appreciative person to light upon such a great natural curiosity, Pierre happened to brush aside several successive layers of old, gray-haired, close cropped, nappy moss, and beneath, to his no small amazement, he saw rudely hammered in the rock some half-obliterate initials—“S. ye W.” Then he knew, that ignorant of the stone, as all the simple country round might immemorially have been, yet was not himself the only human being who had discovered that marvelous impending spectacle: but long and long ago, in quite another age, the stone had been beheld, and its wonderfulness fully appreciated—as the painstaking initials seemed to testify—by some departed man, who, were he now alive, might possibly wag a beard old as the most venerable oak of centuries’ growth. But who,—who in Methuselah’s name,—who might have been this “S. ye W?” Pierre pondered long, but could not possibly imagine; for the initials, in their antiqueness, seemed to point to some period before the era of Columbus’ discovery of the hemisphere. Happening in the end to mention the strange matter of these initials to a white-haired old gentleman, his city kinsman, who, after a long and richly varied, but unfortunate life, had at last found great solace in the Old Testament, which he was continually studying with ever-increasing admiration; this white-haired old kinsman, after having learnt all the particulars about the stone—its bulk, its height, the precise angle of its critical impendings, and all that,—and then, after much prolonged cogitation upon it, and several long-drawn sighs, and aged looks of hoar significance, and reading certain verses in Ecclesiastes; after all these tedious preliminaries, this not-at-all-to-be-hurried white-haired old kinsman, had laid his tremulous hand upon Pierre’s firm young shoulder, and slowly whispered—“Boy; ’tis Solomon the Wise.” Pierre could not repress a merry laugh at this; wonderfully diverted by what seemed to him so queer and crotchety a conceit; which he imputed to the alledged dotage of his venerable kinsman, who he well knew had once maintained, that the old Scriptural Ophir was somewhere on our northern sea-coast; so no wonder the old gentleman should fancy that King Solomon might have taken a trip—as a sort of amateur supercargo—of some Tyre or Sidon gold-ship across the water, and happened to light on the Memnon Stone, while rambling about with bow and quiver shooting partridges.

One day, while lounging next to the stone and closely observing it, Pierre found it surprising that in such a well-established area he was the first to discover such an amazing natural wonder. He began to brush away several layers of old, gray, coarse moss, and to his shock, he saw some faintly carved initials in the rock—“S. ye W.” He realized that, although he and the simple folks around him might have been unaware of the stone for ages, he wasn’t the only person to notice this remarkable sight; long ago, in an entirely different time, someone had seen and appreciated it, as the painstaking initials indicated. That person, if alive today, would likely have an ancient beard as venerable as the oldest oak tree. But who—who in the name of Methuselah—could this “S. ye W” be? Pierre thought hard but couldn’t figure it out, as the initials seemed to date back to before Columbus discovered the New World. Eventually, he mentioned the strange initials to an older relative, a white-haired gentleman who, after a long and tumultuous life, had found comfort in studying the Old Testament, which he did with ever-growing admiration. After hearing all the details about the stone—its size, height, and the specific angle at which it hung—his relative took some time to think and sighed heavily. With a wise air, he read a few verses from Ecclesiastes. After all these deliberations, the patient old man placed his trembling hand on Pierre’s shoulder and whispered, “Boy; it’s Solomon the Wise.” Pierre couldn’t help but laugh at this, finding it hilariously odd, and he attributed it to what he assumed was his relative's old age, knowing that he had once claimed that the biblical Ophir was located somewhere along the northern coast, so it wasn’t surprising that the old man would think King Solomon might have taken a trip as an amateur trader on some Tyrian or Sidonian gold ship and stumbled upon the Memnon Stone while out hunting partridges.

But merriment was by no means Pierre’s usual mood when thinking of this stone; much less when seated in the woods, he, in the profound significance of that deep forest silence, viewed its marvelous impendings. A flitting conceit had often crossed him, that he would like nothing better for a head-stone than this same imposing pile; in which, at times, during the soft swayings of the surrounding foliage, there seemed to lurk some mournful and lamenting plaint, as for some sweet boy long since departed in the antediluvian time.

But feeling cheerful was definitely not Pierre’s usual mood when he thought about this stone; even less so when he was sitting in the woods, where he contemplated the deep meaning of the silence that surrounded him and the amazing sense of anticipation it brought. A fleeting thought often crossed his mind that he would want nothing better for a headstone than this striking pile; sometimes, during the gentle movements of the surrounding leaves, it felt like there was a sad and mournful sound lingering, as if it were mourning for some sweet boy who had long since passed away in ancient times.

Not only might this stone well have been the wonder of the simple country round, but it might well have been its terror. Sometimes, wrought to a mystic mood by contemplating its ponderous inscrutableness, Pierre had called it the Terror Stone. Few could be bribed to climb its giddy height, and crawl out upon its more hovering end. It seemed as if the dropping of one seed from the beak of the smallest flying bird would topple the immense mass over, crashing against the trees.

Not only could this stone have been the amazing sight in the quiet countryside, but it could also have been something people feared. Sometimes, in a mystic mood from staring at its heavy, unexplainable nature, Pierre called it the Terror Stone. Few would be tempted to climb its dizzying height and crawl out to its precarious edge. It felt like if just one seed dropped from the beak of the tiniest bird, it would send the massive rock tumbling down, crashing into the trees.

It was a very familiar thing to Pierre; he had often climbed it, by placing long poles against it, and so creeping up to where it sloped in little crumbling stepping-places; or by climbing high up the neighboring beeches, and then lowering himself down upon the forehead-like summit by the elastic branches. But never had he been fearless enough—or rather fool-hardy enough, it may be, to crawl on the ground beneath the vacancy of the higher end; that spot first menaced by the Terror Stone should it ever really topple.

It was something Pierre knew well; he had often climbed it by propping long poles against it and carefully making his way up to the sloped, crumbling ledges. Or he would climb high into the nearby beech trees and then lower himself down to the summit by the flexible branches. But he had never been brave enough—or maybe reckless enough—to crawl on the ground beneath the open drop at the higher end; that place was first threatened by the Terror Stone if it ever did come crashing down.


V.

YET now advancing steadily, and as if by some interior pre-determination, and eying the mass unfalteringly; he then threw himself prone upon the wood’s last year’s leaves, and slid himself straight into the horrible interspace, and lay there as dead. He spoke not, for speechless thoughts were in him. These gave place at last to things less and less unspeakable; till at last, from beneath the very brow of the beetlings and the menacings of the Terror Stone came the audible words of Pierre:—

YET now moving forward steadily, as if guided by some inner force, and watching the mass without hesitation; he then threw himself down on the forest's last year's leaves and slid straight into the terrible gap, lying there as if he were dead. He didn't speak, as his thoughts were too overwhelming. Eventually, these thoughts transformed into things that were easier to express; until finally, from beneath the very edge of the threatening Terror Stone came Pierre's audible words:—

“If the miseries of the undisclosable things in me, shall ever unhorse me from my manhood’s seat; if to vow myself all Virtue’s and all Truth’s, be but to make a trembling, distrusted slave of me; if Life is to prove a burden I can not bear without ignominious cringings; if indeed our actions are all fore-ordained, and we are Russian serfs to Fate; if invisible devils do titter at us when we most nobly strive; if Life be a cheating dream, and virtue as unmeaning and unsequeled with any blessing as the midnight mirth of wine; if by sacrificing myself for Duty’s sake, my own mother re-sacrifices me; if Duty’s self be but a bugbear, and all things are allowable and unpunishable to man;—then do thou, Mute Massiveness, fall on me! Ages thou hast waited; and if these things be thus, then wait no more; for whom better canst thou crush than him who now lies here invoking thee?”

“If the pain of the things I can't reveal ever knocks me off my manhood's throne; if committing myself to all Virtue and all Truth just turns me into a trembling, distrusted slave; if Life becomes a burden I can't carry without shame; if our actions are all predetermined and we are like serfs to Fate; if invisible demons mock us when we try our hardest; if Life is a deceptive dream, and virtue is as meaningless and disconnected from any blessing as the drunken laughter of the night; if by sacrificing myself for Duty's sake, my own mother ends up sacrificing me again; if Duty itself is just a scary story, and everything is acceptable and unpunishable for a man;—then, Heavy Silence, come down on me! You have waited for ages; and if things are really this way, then wait no longer; for who better to crush than me, who lies here calling for you?”

A down-darting bird, all song, swiftly lighted on the unmoved and eternally immovable balancings of the Terror Stone, and cheerfully chirped to Pierre. The tree-boughs bent and waved to the rushes of a sudden, balmy wind; and slowly Pierre crawled forth, and stood haughtily upon his feet, as he owed thanks to none, and went his moody way.

A darting bird, full of song, quickly landed on the still and forever steady Terror Stone and cheerfully chirped at Pierre. The tree branches bent and swayed in a sudden, warm breeze; slowly, Pierre crawled out and stood proudly on his feet, as if he owed no thanks to anyone, and walked off in a sulky mood.


VI.

WHEN in his imaginative ruminating moods of early youth, Pierre had christened the wonderful stone by the old resounding name of Memnon, he had done so merely from certain associative remembrances of that Egyptian marvel, of which all Eastern travelers speak. And when the fugitive thought had long ago entered him of desiring that same stone for his head-stone, when he should be no more; then he had only yielded to one of those innumerable fanciful notions, tinged with dreamy painless melancholy, which are frequently suggested to the mind of a poetic boy. But in after-times, when placed in far different circumstances from those surrounding him at the Meadows, Pierre pondered on the stone, and his young thoughts concerning it, and, later, his desperate act in crawling under it; then an immense significance came to him, and the long-passed unconscious movements of his then youthful heart seemed now prophetic to him, and allegorically verified by the subsequent events.

WHEN in his imaginative and reflective moods of early youth, Pierre had named the beautiful stone after the legendary figure Memnon, he did so simply because of certain associations with that Egyptian wonder, which all Eastern travelers mention. And when the fleeting idea of wanting that same stone as his headstone, when he was no longer alive, had entered his mind long ago; he had only given in to one of those countless whimsical thoughts, colored with a dreamy, painless sadness, that often come to the minds of poetic boys. But later, when he found himself in completely different circumstances than those at the Meadows, Pierre reflected on the stone, his youthful thoughts about it, and, eventually, his desperate action of crawling under it; then it took on a profound significance for him, and the long-forgotten, instinctive feelings of his younger heart now seemed prophetic, as if confirmed by the events that followed.

For, not to speak of the other and subtler meanings which lie crouching behind the colossal haunches of this stone, regarded as the menacingly impending Terror Stone—hidden to all the simple cottagers, but revealed to Pierre—consider its aspects as the Memnon Stone. For Memnon was that dewey, royal boy, son of Aurora, and born King of Egypt, who, with enthusiastic rashness flinging himself on another’s account into a rightful quarrel, fought hand to hand with his overmatch, and met his boyish and most dolorous death beneath the walls of Troy. His wailing subjects built a monument in Egypt to commemorate his untimely fate. Touched by the breath of the bereaved Aurora, every sunrise that statue gave forth a mournful broken sound, as of a harp-string suddenly sundered, being too harshly wound.

For, not to mention the other subtler meanings lurking behind the massive form of this stone, seen as the forbidding Terror Stone—hidden from all the simple villagers but revealed to Pierre—think about its role as the Memnon Stone. Memnon was that delicate, royal boy, son of Aurora, and the rightful King of Egypt, who, with reckless enthusiasm throwing himself into another’s fight, engaged in a hand-to-hand battle against a stronger opponent and met his tragic, youthful death under the walls of Troy. His grieving subjects built a monument in Egypt to honor his premature demise. Touched by the sorrowful breath of the mourning Aurora, every sunrise that statue emitted a mournful, broken sound, like a harp string suddenly snapped from being pulled too tightly.

Herein lies an unsummed world of grief. For in this plaintive fable we find embodied the Hamletism of the antique world; the Hamletism of three thousand years ago: “The flower of virtue cropped by a too rare mischance.” And the English Tragedy is but Egyptian Memnon, Montaignized and modernized; for being but a mortal man Shakspeare had his fathers too.

Here lies a world of uncounted grief. For in this sorrowful tale, we see the essence of Hamlet from ancient times; the Hamletism from three thousand years ago: “The flower of virtue cut short by a rare misfortune.” And the English tragedy is merely Egyptian Memnon, reinterpreted and updated; because being just a mortal man, Shakespeare had his forebears too.

Now as the Memnon Statue survives down to this present day, so does that nobly-striving but ever-shipwrecked character in some royal youths (for both Memnon and Hamlet were the sons of kings), of which that statue is the melancholy type. But Memnon’s sculptured woes did once melodiously resound; now all is mute. Fit emblem that of old, poetry was a consecration and an obsequy to all hapless modes of human life; but in a bantering, barren, and prosaic, heartless age, Aurora’s music-moan is lost among our drifting sands which whelm alike the monument and the dirge.

Now, as the Memnon Statue still exists today, so does that noble yet perpetually doomed character in some young royals (since both Memnon and Hamlet were kings’ sons), of which that statue is a sorrowful representation. But Memnon’s carved sorrows once echoed beautifully; now everything is silent. A fitting symbol that in the past, poetry was a tribute and a farewell to all unfortunate aspects of human life; but in a mocking, empty, and unfeeling age, Aurora’s mournful music is lost among our drifting sands, which bury both the monument and the lament.


VII.

AS Pierre went on through the woods, all thoughts now left him but those investing Isabel. He strove to condense her mysterious haze into some definite and comprehensible shape. He could not but infer that the feeling of bewilderment, which she had so often hinted of during their interview, had caused her continually to go aside from the straight line of her narration; and finally to end it in an abrupt and enigmatical obscurity. But he also felt assured, that as this was entirely unintended, and now, doubtless, regretted by herself, so their coming second interview would help to clear up much of this mysteriousness; considering that the elapsing interval would do much to tranquilize her, and rally her into less of wonderfulness to him; he did not therefore so much accuse his unthinkingness in naming the postponing hour he had. For, indeed, looking from the morning down the vista of the day, it seemed as indefinite and interminable to him. He could not bring himself to confront any face or house; a plowed field, any sign of tillage, the rotted stump of a long-felled pine, the slightest passing trace of man was uncongenial and repelling to him. Likewise in his own mind all remembrances and imaginings that had to do with the common and general humanity had become, for the time, in the most singular manner distasteful to him. Still, while thus loathing all that was common in the two different worlds—that without, and that within—nevertheless, even in the most withdrawn and subtlest region of his own essential spirit, Pierre could not now find one single agreeable twig of thought whereon to perch his weary soul.

AS As Pierre walked through the woods, all thoughts left him except those concerning Isabel. He tried to shape her mysterious aura into something clear and understandable. He couldn’t help but conclude that the confusion she often hinted at during their conversation had caused her to stray from the main point of her story, eventually leading to an abrupt and puzzling ending. However, he felt certain that since this was completely unintentional and likely regretted by her now, their upcoming second meeting would help clarify much of this mystery; given that the time apart would help calm her down and make her less elusive to him, he didn't blame himself too harshly for mentioning the postponed meeting time. Because, looking from the morning towards the rest of the day, it felt endless and vague to him. He couldn't bring himself to face any person or building; a plowed field, any sign of farming, the rotting stump of a long-felled pine, even the faintest trace of human existence were all unpleasant and off-putting to him. Similarly, in his own mind, any memories or thoughts related to ordinary humanity had become strangely distasteful to him for the time being. Still, while he detested everything common in both the outside world and his inner world, he couldn't find a single comforting thought to rest his weary soul on in the deepest part of his own spirit.

Men in general seldom suffer from this utter pauperism of the spirit. If God hath not blessed them with incurable frivolity, men in general have still some secret thing of self-conceit or virtuous gratulation; men in general have always done some small self-sacrificing deed for some other man; and so, in those now and then recurring hours of despondent lassitude, which must at various and differing intervals overtake almost every civilized human being; such persons straightway bethink them of their one, or two, or three small self-sacrificing things, and suck respite, consolation, and more or less compensating deliciousness from it. But with men of self-disdainful spirits; in whose chosen souls heaven itself hath by a primitive persuasion unindoctrinally fixed that most true Christian doctrine of the utter nothingness of good works; the casual remembrance of their benevolent well-doings, does never distill one drop of comfort for them, even as (in harmony with the correlative Scripture doctrine) the recalling of their outlived errors and mis-deeds, conveys to them no slightest pang or shadow of reproach.

Men generally don't experience this complete emptiness of the spirit. If God hasn’t gifted them with an unshakeable lightheartedness, most men still hold onto some secret sense of pride or moral satisfaction; they usually have performed at least a few small acts of selflessness for someone else. So, during those moments of hopeless fatigue that almost every civilized person goes through from time to time, they quickly remember one, two, or three of their small selfless acts, drawing comfort and a sense of pleasure from it. However, for those who feel deep self-disdain, where heaven itself has implanted the core belief of the complete insignificance of good deeds, simply recalling their acts of kindness never brings them a shred of comfort. Similarly, remembering their past mistakes or wrongdoings doesn't trigger even the slightest sense of guilt or shame.

Though the clew-defying mysteriousness of Isabel’s narration, did now for the time, in this particular mood of his, put on a repelling aspect to our Pierre; yet something must occupy the soul of man; and Isabel was nearest to him then; and Isabel he thought of; at first, with great discomfort and with pain, but anon (for heaven eventually rewards the resolute and duteous thinker) with lessening repugnance, and at last with still-increasing willingness and congenialness. Now he recalled his first impressions, here and there, while she was rehearsing to him her wild tale; he recalled those swift but mystical corroborations in his own mind and memory, which by shedding another twinkling light upon her history, had but increased its mystery, while at the same time remarkably substantiating it.

Though the puzzling mystery of Isabel’s story initially put Pierre off in his current mood, he realized that something must occupy a person's mind; and Isabel was the closest to him at that moment. He began to think of Isabel, first with discomfort and pain, but soon (as heaven rewards those who are determined and thoughtful) with decreasing negativity, and eventually with growing willingness and warmth. He started to recall his first impressions while she was telling him her wild tale; he remembered those fleeting yet mystical confirmations in his own thoughts and memories, which, by casting a new light on her story, only deepened its mystery, while also surprisingly validating it.

Her first recallable recollection was of an old deserted chateau-like house in a strange, French-like country, which she dimly imagined to be somewhere beyond the sea. Did not this surprisingly correspond with certain natural inferences to be drawn from his Aunt Dorothea’s account of the disappearance of the French young lady? Yes; the French young lady’s disappearance on this side the water was only contingent upon her reappearance on the other; then he shuddered as he darkly pictured the possible sequel of her life, and the wresting from her of her infant, and its immurement in the savage mountain wilderness.

Her first clear memory was of an old, abandoned chateau-like house in a strange, French-like country that she vaguely imagined to be somewhere across the sea. Didn't this surprisingly align with some natural conclusions drawn from Aunt Dorothea's story about the disappearance of the French young lady? Yes; the French young lady's disappearance on this side of the ocean only depended on her potential return on the other side; then he shuddered as he grimly imagined the possible outcome of her life, and the tearing away of her infant, locking it away in the wild mountain wilderness.

But Isabel had also vague impressions of herself crossing the sea;—recrossing, emphatically thought Pierre, as he pondered on the unbidden conceit, that she had probably first unconsciously and smuggledly crossed it hidden beneath her sorrowing mother’s heart. But in attempting to draw any inferences, from what he himself had ever heard, for a coinciding proof or elucidation of this assumption of Isabel’s actual crossing the sea at so tender an age; here Pierre felt all the inadequateness of both his own and Isabel’s united knowledge, to clear up the profound mysteriousness of her early life. To the certainty of this irremovable obscurity he bowed himself, and strove to dismiss it from his mind, as worse than hopeless. So, also, in a good degree, did he endeavor to drive out of him, Isabel’s reminiscence of the, to her, unnameable large house, from which she had been finally removed by the pleasant woman in the coach. This episode in her life, above all other things, was most cruelly suggestive to him, as possibly involving his father in the privity to a thing, at which Pierre’s inmost soul fainted with amazement and abhorrence. Here the helplessness of all further light, and the eternal impossibility of logically exonerating his dead father, in his own mind, from the liability to this, and many other of the blackest self-insinuated suppositions; all this came over Pierre with a power so infernal and intense, that it could only have proceeded from the unretarded malice of the Evil One himself. But subtilly and wantonly as these conceits stole into him, Pierre as subtilly opposed them; and with the hue-and-cry of his whole indignant soul, pursued them forth again into the wide Tartarean realm from which they had emerged.

But Isabel also had vague memories of herself crossing the sea;—recrossing, Pierre thought emphatically as he contemplated the unsolicited idea that she had likely first unconsciously and secretly crossed it hidden beneath her sorrowful mother’s heart. However, when trying to draw any conclusions from what he had ever heard that could support or explain this assumption of Isabel’s crossing the sea at such a young age, Pierre felt the inadequacy of both his own and Isabel’s combined knowledge to unravel the profound mystery of her early life. He accepted this inescapable obscurity and tried to push it out of his mind, considering it worse than futile. Similarly, he also tried to rid himself of Isabel’s memory of the unmentionable large house from which she had been taken by the kind woman in the coach. This episode in her life, more than anything else, suggested something cruel to him, as it possibly implicated his father in something that made Pierre’s innermost being faint with shock and repulsion. The helplessness of finding any further clarity and the eternal impossibility of logically clearing his deceased father in his mind of this and many other dark self-imposed suspicions overwhelmed Pierre with a force so intense that it could only have come from the unrelenting malice of the Evil One himself. Yet, as these troubling thoughts subtly and maliciously crept into him, Pierre subtly resisted them, and with the full force of his indignant soul, he drove them back into the dark realm from which they had come.

The more and the more that Pierre now revolved the story of Isabel in his mind, so much the more he amended his original idea, that much of its obscurity would depart upon a second interview. He saw, or seemed to see, that it was not so much Isabel who had by her wild idiosyncrasies mystified the narration of her history, as it was the essential and unavoidable mystery of her history itself, which had invested Isabel with such wonderful enigmas to him.

The more Pierre thought about Isabel's story, the more he refined his initial thoughts, believing that a second conversation would clarify much of its confusion. He realized, or at least thought he did, that it wasn’t just Isabel’s quirky behavior that made her story mysterious; it was the inherent and unavoidable mystery of her history itself that wrapped Isabel in such fascinating enigmas for him.


VIII.

THE issue of these reconsiderings was the conviction, that all he could now reasonably anticipate from Isabel, in further disclosure on the subject of her life, were some few additional particulars bringing it down to the present moment; and, also, possibly filling out the latter portion of what she had already revealed to him. Nor here, could he persuade himself, that she would have much to say. Isabel had not been so digressive and withholding as he had thought. What more, indeed, could she now have to impart, except by what strange means she had at last come to find her brother out; and the dreary recital of how she had pecuniarily wrestled with her destitute condition; how she had come to leave one place of toiling refuge for another, till now he found her in humble servitude at farmer Ulver’s? Is it possible then, thought Pierre, that there lives a human creature in this common world of everydays, whose whole history may be told in little less than two-score words, and yet embody in that smallness a fathomless fountain of ever-welling mystery? Is it possible, after all, that spite of bricks and shaven faces, this world we live in is brimmed with wonders, and I and all mankind, beneath our garbs of common-placeness, conceal enigmas that the stars themselves, and perhaps the highest seraphim can not resolve?

The issue he was grappling with was the realization that all he could reasonably expect from Isabel regarding her life were just a few more details bringing it up to the present; and possibly filling in the latter part of what she had already shared with him. He couldn’t convince himself that she would have much to add. Isabel hadn’t been as evasive and secretive as he had assumed. What more could she possibly share now, except how she had eventually managed to find her brother and the gloomy account of how she had struggled with her financial hardships? How she had moved from one place of refuge to another until he found her in humble servitude at farmer Ulver’s? Is it possible, Pierre wondered, that there’s a human being in this ordinary world whose entire history can be summed up in just a few dozen words, yet that brevity holds an endless well of mystery? Is it possible that despite the bricks and polished appearances, this world we live in is filled with wonders, and that I, along with all of humanity, hide enigmas beneath our ordinary facades that even the stars, and perhaps the highest angels, cannot unravel?

The intuitively certain, however literally unproven fact of Isabel’s sisterhood to him, was a link that he now felt binding him to a before unimagined and endless chain of wondering. His very blood seemed to flow through all his arteries with unwonted subtileness, when he thought that the same tide flowed through the mystic veins of Isabel. All his occasional pangs of dubiousness as to the grand governing thing of all—the reality of the physical relationship—only recoiled back upon him with added tribute of both certainty and insolubleness.

The intuitively obvious, yet literally unproven fact that Isabel was his sister created a bond he now felt tie him to an unimaginable and endless chain of curiosity. His blood seemed to flow through all his veins with a new sensitivity when he considered that the same life force flowed through the mysterious veins of Isabel. All his moments of doubt about the overarching truth of it all—the reality of their physical relationship—only came back to him with a stronger mix of certainty and complexity.

She is my sister—my own father’s daughter. Well; why do I believe it? The other day I had not so much as heard the remotest rumor of her existence; and what has since occurred to change me? What so new and incontestable vouchers have I handled? None at all. But I have seen her. Well; grant it; I might have seen a thousand other girls, whom I had never seen before; but for that, I would not own any one among them for my sister. But the portrait, the chair-portrait, Pierre? Think of that. But that was painted before Isabel was born; what can that portrait have to do with Isabel? It is not the portrait of Isabel, it is my father’s portrait; and yet my mother swears it is not he.

She is my sister—my father’s daughter. So why do I believe it? The other day, I hadn’t even heard the slightest rumor about her existence; what has happened since to change my mind? What solid proof have I come across? None at all. But I have seen her. Sure, I might have seen a thousand other girls I had never seen before, but that wouldn’t make any of them my sister. But the portrait, the chair-portrait, Pierre? Think about that. But that was painted before Isabel was born; what does that portrait have to do with Isabel? It’s not Isabel’s portrait; it’s my father’s portrait, yet my mother insists it’s not him.

Now alive as he was to all these searching argumentative itemizings of the minutest known facts any way bearing upon the subject; and yet, at the same time, persuaded, strong as death, that in spite of them, Isabel was indeed his sister; how could Pierre, naturally poetic, and therefore piercing as he was; how could he fail to acknowledge the existence of that all-controlling and all-permeating wonderfulness, which, when imperfectly and isolatedly recognized by the generality, is so significantly denominated The Finger of God? But it is not merely the Finger, it is the whole outspread Hand of God; for doth not Scripture intimate, that He holdeth all of us in the hollow of His hand?—a Hollow, truly!

Now that he was fully aware of all these detailed arguments related to every small fact concerning the subject; and yet, at the same time, firmly convinced, as if it were an undeniable truth, that despite them, Isabel was indeed his sister; how could Pierre, being naturally poetic and therefore insightful as he was; how could he fail to recognize the presence of that all-controlling and all-pervading wonder, which, when only partially and separately acknowledged by most people, is so appropriately called The Finger of God? But it's not just the Finger; it's the entire outstretched Hand of God; for doesn’t Scripture suggest that He holds all of us in the palm of His hand?—a Palm, indeed!

Still wandering through the forest, his eye pursuing its ever-shifting shadowy vistas; remote from all visible haunts and traces of that strangely wilful race, who, in the sordid traffickings of clay and mud, are ever seeking to denationalize the natural heavenliness of their souls; there came into the mind of Pierre, thoughts and fancies never imbibed within the gates of towns; but only given forth by the atmosphere of primeval forests, which, with the eternal ocean, are the only unchanged general objects remaining to this day, from those that originally met the gaze of Adam. For so it is, that the apparently most inflammable or evaporable of all earthly things, wood and water, are, in this view, immensely the most endurable.

Still wandering through the forest, his gaze following its constantly shifting shadowy views; far away from all visible places and the traces of that strangely determined race, who, in their petty dealings with dirt and mud, are always trying to strip away the natural purity of their souls; thoughts and ideas entered Pierre’s mind that he had never encountered within the walls of towns; but only emerged from the atmosphere of ancient forests, which, along with the endless ocean, are the only unchanging elements remaining to this day, from those that originally met Adam's gaze. For it is true that the seemingly most flammable or evaporatable of all earthly things, wood and water, are, in this sense, by far the most enduring.

Now all his ponderings, however excursive, wheeled round Isabel as their center; and back to her they came again from every excursion; and again derived some new, small germs for wonderment.

Now all his thoughts, no matter how wandering, revolved around Isabel as their center; and they returned to her each time after every diversion; and once more sparked new, small seeds of curiosity.

The question of Time occurred to Pierre. How old was Isabel? According to all reasonable inferences from the presumed circumstances of her life, she was his elder, certainly, though by uncertain years; yet her whole aspect was that of more than childlikeness; nevertheless, not only did he feel his muscular superiority to her, so to speak, which made him spontaneously alive to a feeling of elderly protectingness over her; not only did he experience the thoughts of superior world-acquaintance, and general cultured knowledge; but spite of reason’s self, and irrespective of all mere computings, he was conscious of a feeling which independently pronounced him her senior in point of Time, and Isabel a child of everlasting youngness. This strange, though strong conceit of his mysterious persuasion, doubtless, had its untraced, and but little-suspected origin in his mind, from ideas born of his devout meditations upon the artless infantileness of her face; which, though profoundly mournful in the general expression, yet did not, by any means, for that cause, lose one whit in its singular infantileness; as the faces of real infants, in their earliest visibleness, do oft-times wear a look of deep and endless sadness. But it was not the sadness, nor indeed, strictly speaking, the infantileness of the face of Isabel which so singularly impressed him with the idea of her original and changeless youthfulness. It was something else; yet something which entirely eluded him.

The question of time popped into Pierre's mind. How old was Isabel? By all reasonable assumptions based on her life’s circumstances, she was older than him, although by an uncertain number of years. Yet her whole appearance had a quality that felt more than just youthful; still, he sensed his physical strength over her, which made him instinctively protective. He also felt that he had a broader understanding of the world and more cultured knowledge. However, despite what reason suggested and all the calculations, he had this feeling that he was older than her in terms of time, while Isabel seemed like she was eternally young. This strange but strong feeling likely came from unexamined ideas in his mind, influenced by his deep reflections on the innocent youthfulness of her face, which, while generally sad in expression, didn’t lose any of its unique childlike quality—just like real infants, whose faces often show a deep and endless sadness even from a young age. But it wasn’t the sadness, nor strictly speaking, the youthful quality of Isabel’s face that left such a strong impression on him about her original and unchanging youth. It was something else entirely, although he couldn’t quite grasp what it was.

Imaginatively exalted by the willing suffrages of all mankind into higher and purer realms than men themselves inhabit; beautiful women—those of them at least who are beautiful in soul as well as body—do, notwithstanding the relentless law of earthly fleetingness, still seem, for a long interval, mysteriously exempt from the incantations of decay; for as the outward loveliness touch by touch departs, the interior beauty touch by touch replaces that departing bloom, with charms, which, underivable from earth, possess the ineffaceableness of stars. Else, why at the age of sixty, have some women held in the strongest bonds of love and fealty, men young enough to be their grandsons? And why did all-seducing Ninon unintendingly break scores of hearts at seventy? It is because of the perennialness of womanly sweetness.

Lifted imaginatively by the willing support of all humanity into higher and purer realms than those inhabited by men; beautiful women—at least those who are beautiful in both soul and body—do, despite the relentless law of earthly transience, seem, for quite some time, mysteriously exempt from the spell of decay. As their outward beauty gradually fades, their inner beauty step by step takes its place, with qualities that, unrooted from the earth, carry the timelessness of stars. Otherwise, why at the age of sixty do some women remain deeply loved and cherished by men young enough to be their grandsons? And why did the enchanting Ninon unintentionally break countless hearts at seventy? It’s due to the everlasting nature of feminine charm.

Out from the infantile, yet eternal mournfulness of the face of Isabel, there looked on Pierre that angelic childlikeness, which our Savior hints is the one only investiture of translated souls; for of such—even of little children—is the other world.

From the childlike yet timeless sadness of Isabel's face, Pierre saw that angelic innocence, which our Savior suggests is the only true quality of transformed souls; for of such—even of little children—is the afterlife.

Now, unending as the wonderful rivers, which once bathed the feet of the primeval generations, and still remain to flow fast by the graves of all succeeding men, and by the beds of all now living; unending, ever-flowing, ran through the soul of Pierre, fresh and fresher, further and still further, thoughts of Isabel. But the more his thoughtful river ran, the more mysteriousness it floated to him; and yet the more certainty that the mysteriousness was unchangeable. In her life there was an unraveled plot; and he felt that unraveled it would eternally remain to him. No slightest hope or dream had he, that what was dark and mournful in her would ever be cleared up into some coming atmosphere of light and mirth. Like all youths, Pierre had conned his novel-lessons; had read more novels than most persons of his years; but their false, inverted attempts at systematizing eternally unsystemizable elements; their audacious, intermeddling impotency, in trying to unravel, and spread out, and classify, the more thin than gossamer threads which make up the complex web of life; these things over Pierre had no power now. Straight through their helpless miserableness he pierced; the one sensational truth in him transfixed like beetles all the speculative lies in them. He saw that human life doth truly come from that, which all men are agreed to call by the name of God; and that it partakes of the unravelable inscrutableness of God. By infallible presentiment he saw, that not always doth life’s beginning gloom conclude in gladness; that wedding-bells peal not ever in the last scene of life’s fifth act; that while the countless tribes of common novels laboriously spin veils of mystery, only to complacently clear them up at last; and while the countless tribe of common dramas do but repeat the same; yet the profounder emanations of the human mind, intended to illustrate all that can be humanly known of human life; these never unravel their own intricacies, and have no proper endings; but in imperfect, unanticipated, and disappointing sequels (as mutilated stumps), hurry to abrupt intermergings with the eternal tides of time and fate.

Now, as endless as the beautiful rivers that once washed the feet of ancient generations and still flow swiftly by the graves of all who have come after, and by the lives of those currently living; endlessly, continuously, thoughts of Isabel coursed through Pierre's mind, becoming fresher and further-reaching. But the more this contemplative river flowed, the more mysterious it seemed to him; yet, at the same time, he felt a certainty that this mystery would remain unchanged. Her life had an unsolved puzzle, and he sensed it would forever stay unsolved for him. He had no glimmer of hope or dream that what was dark and sorrowful within her would ever transform into a future filled with light and joy. Like many young people, Pierre had absorbed the lessons of novels; he had read more novels than most at his age. But their flawed attempts to impose order on eternally chaotic elements; their bold, ineffective meddling in trying to untangle, showcase, and classify the almost invisible threads that weave together the complex web of life; these things no longer held power over Pierre. He saw straight through their pitiful shortcomings; the single undeniable truth within him pierced through all the speculative falsehoods in those stories. He recognized that human life truly comes from what everyone agrees to call God; and that it shares the unfathomable mystery of God. With undeniable intuition, he saw that life’s gloomy beginnings do not always end in happiness; that wedding bells do not always ring in the final scene of life’s fifth act; that while countless ordinary novels laboriously create veils of mystery only to conveniently resolve them in the end; and while numerous common dramas do nothing but repeat this pattern; the deeper expressions of the human mind, aiming to illustrate all that can be known about human life, never untangle their own complexities and have no real conclusions; instead, they jump into imperfection, unexpectedness, and frustrating sequels (like broken remnants), rushing into abrupt fusions with the eternal tides of time and fate.

So Pierre renounced all thought of ever having Isabel’s dark lantern illuminated to him. Her light was lidded, and the lid was locked. Nor did he feel a pang at this. By posting hither and thither among the reminiscences of his family, and craftily interrogating his remaining relatives on his father’s side, he might possibly rake forth some few small grains of dubious and most unsatisfying things, which, were he that way strongly bent, would only serve the more hopelessly to cripple him in his practical resolves. He determined to pry not at all into this sacred problem. For him now the mystery of Isabel possessed all the bewitchingness of the mysterious vault of night, whose very darkness evokes the witchery.

So Pierre gave up any thought of ever having Isabel’s dark secrets revealed to him. Her light was closed off, and the lid was locked. He didn’t feel upset about this. By wandering around and digging through his family memories, and skillfully asking his remaining relatives on his father’s side, he might uncover a few small pieces of unclear and deeply unsatisfying information, which, if he were really inclined, would only make it more hopeless for him to take any practical steps. He decided not to investigate this sacred issue at all. To him now, the mystery of Isabel held all the enchanting allure of the mysterious night sky, whose very darkness calls forth its own magic.

The thoughtful river still ran on in him, and now it floated still another thing to him.

The reflective river continued to flow within him, and now it brought him yet another thought.

Though the letter of Isabel gushed with all a sister’s sacred longings to embrace her brother, and in the most abandoned terms painted the anguish of her life-long estrangement from him; and though, in effect, it took vows to this,—that without his continual love and sympathy, further life for her was only fit to be thrown into the nearest unfathomed pool, or rushing stream; yet when the brother and the sister had encountered, according to the set appointment, none of these impassionedments had been repeated. She had more than thrice thanked God, and most earnestly blessed himself, that now he had come near to her in her loneliness; but no gesture of common and customary sisterly affection. Nay, from his embrace had she not struggled? nor kissed him once; nor had he kissed her, except when the salute was solely sought by him.

Though Isabel's letter overflowed with all a sister's heartfelt longing to embrace her brother and vividly expressed the pain of their lifelong separation; and even though it essentially promised that without his constant love and support, life for her would be unworthy of living, either ending up in a bottomless pool or a rushing stream; when the brother and sister finally met as planned, none of these passionate emotions were brought up. She had more than three times thanked God and sincerely blessed herself for having him close in her loneliness, but there was no gesture of typical sisterly affection. In fact, hadn’t she pulled away from his embrace? She didn't kiss him once; nor did he kiss her unless he was the one initiating it.

Now Pierre began to see mysteries interpierced with mysteries, and mysteries eluding mysteries; and began to seem to see the mere imaginariness of the so supposed solidest principle of human association. Fate had done this thing for them. Fate had separated the brother and the sister, till to each other they somehow seemed so not at all. Sisters shrink not from their brother’s kisses. And Pierre felt that never, never would he be able to embrace Isabel with the mere brotherly embrace; while the thought of any other caress, which took hold of any domesticness, was entirely vacant from his uncontaminated soul, for it had never consciously intruded there.

Now Pierre started to see mysteries that were intertwined with other mysteries, and mysteries that seemed to escape understanding; he began to perceive the questionable reality of what was considered the most solid principle of human connection. Fate had caused this rift between them. Fate had kept the brother and sister apart, so much so that they began to feel like strangers to one another. Sisters don't shy away from their brother's kisses. Pierre realized that he would never, ever be able to embrace Isabel in a purely brotherly way; while the idea of any other kind of affection that suggested a deeper connection was completely absent from his untainted soul, as it had never consciously entered his mind.

Therefore, forever unsistered for him by the stroke of Fate, and apparently forever, and twice removed from the remotest possibility of that love which had drawn him to his Lucy; yet still the object of the ardentest and deepest emotions of his soul; therefore, to him, Isabel wholly soared out of the realms of mortalness, and for him became transfigured in the highest heaven of uncorrupted Love.

Therefore, forever separated from him by fate, and seemingly forever removed from the slightest chance of the love that had connected him to Lucy; yet still the focus of the strongest and deepest feelings of his soul; thus, to him, Isabel completely transcended the boundaries of humanity and became transformed in the highest realm of pure love.

BOOK VIII.
THE SECOND INTERVIEW AT THE FARM-HOUSE, AND THE SECOND PART OF THE STORY OF ISABEL. THEIR IMMEDIATE IMPULSIVE EFFECT UPON PIERRE.

I.

HIS second interview with Isabel was more satisfying, but none the less affecting and mystical than the first, though in the beginning, to his no small surprise, it was far more strange and embarrassing.

HIS second interview with Isabel was more satisfying, but none the less affecting and mystical than the first, though at the start, to his great surprise, it was much stranger and more awkward.

As before, Isabel herself admitted him into the farm-house, and spoke no word to him till they were both seated in the room of the double casement, and himself had first addressed her. If Pierre had any way predetermined how to deport himself at the moment, it was to manifest by some outward token the utmost affection for his sister; but her rapt silence and that atmosphere of unearthliness which invested her, now froze him to his seat; his arms refused to open, his lips refused to meet in the fraternal kiss; while all the while his heart was overflowing with the deepest love, and he knew full well, that his presence was inexpressibly grateful to the girl. Never did love and reverence so intimately react and blend; never did pity so join with wonder in casting a spell upon the movements of his body, and impeding him in its command.

As before, Isabel let him into the farmhouse and didn't say a word until they were both seated in the room with the double windows, and he addressed her first. If Pierre had planned how to behave in that moment, it was to show his sister the utmost affection in some outward way; but her deep silence and the otherworldly aura surrounding her froze him in place. His arms wouldn't open, and his lips wouldn't come together for a brotherly kiss, even though his heart was overflowing with love and he knew his presence meant the world to her. Never had love and respect intertwined so closely; never had pity combined with wonder in such a way that it stifled his body and restrained his actions.

After a few embarrassed words from Pierre, and a brief reply, a pause ensued, during which not only was the slow, soft stepping overhead quite audible, as at intervals on the night before, but also some slight domestic sounds were heard from the adjoining room; and noticing the unconsciously interrogating expression of Pierre’s face, Isabel thus spoke to him:

After a few awkward words from Pierre and a quick response, there was a pause during which not only was the slow, soft sound of footsteps overhead clearly audible, as it had been at intervals the night before, but also some faint household noises could be heard from the next room. Noticing the puzzled look on Pierre’s face, Isabel said to him:

“I feel, my brother, that thou dost appreciate the peculiarity and the mystery of my life, and of myself, and therefore I am at rest concerning the possibility of thy misconstruing any of my actions. It is only when people refuse to admit the uncommonness of some persons and the circumstances surrounding them, that erroneous conceits are nourished, and their feelings pained. My brother, if ever I shall seem reserved and unembracing to thee, still thou must ever trust the heart of Isabel, and permit no doubt to cross thee there. My brother, the sounds thou hast just overheard in yonder room, have suggested to thee interesting questions connected with myself. Do not speak; I fervently understand thee. I will tell thee upon what terms I have been living here; and how it is that I, a hired person, am enabled to receive thee in this seemly privacy; for as thou mayest very readily imagine, this room is not my own. And this reminds me also that I have yet some few further trifling things to tell thee respecting the circumstances which have ended in bestowing upon me so angelical a brother.”

“I feel, my brother, that you understand the uniqueness and mystery of my life and myself, and so I am at ease about the chance of you misinterpreting any of my actions. It's only when people refuse to recognize that some individuals and their situations are unusual that false ideas take root and feelings get hurt. My brother, if I ever seem distant or unwelcoming to you, just know that you can always trust Isabel's heart and let no doubt enter your mind about that. My brother, the sounds you just heard in that room have raised interesting questions about me. Don't say anything; I understand you completely. I will explain the terms under which I've been living here and how, as a hired person, I can welcome you into this decent privacy, because as you might easily guess, this room isn't mine. And this also reminds me that I still have a few more minor things to share with you about the circumstances that have led to me being blessed with such an angelic brother.”

“I can not retain that word”—said Pierre, with earnest lowness, and drawing a little nearer to her—“of right, it only pertains to thee.”

“I can't hold onto that word,” Pierre said with sincere softness, moving a little closer to her, “it rightfully belongs only to you.”

“My brother, I will now go on, and tell thee all that I think thou couldst wish to know, in addition to what was so dimly rehearsed last night. Some three months ago, the people of the distant farm-house, where I was then staying, broke up their household and departed for some Western country. No place immediately presented itself where my services were wanted, but I was hospitably received at an old neighbor’s hearth, and most kindly invited to tarry there, till some employ should offer. But I did not wait for chance to help me; my inquiries resulted in ascertaining the sad story of Delly Ulver, and that through the fate which had overtaken her, her aged parents were not only plunged into the most poignant grief, but were deprived of the domestic help of an only daughter, a circumstance whose deep discomfort can not be easily realized by persons who have always been ministered to by servants. Though indeed my natural mood—if I may call it so, for want of a better term—was strangely touched by thinking that the misery of Delly should be the source of benefit to me; yet this had no practically operative effect upon me,—my most inmost and truest thoughts seldom have;—and so I came hither, and my hands will testify that I did not come entirely for naught. Now, my brother, since thou didst leave me yesterday, I have felt no small surprise, that thou didst not then seek from me, how and when I came to learn the name of Glendinning as so closely associated with myself; and how I came to know Saddle Meadows to be the family seat, and how I at last resolved upon addressing thee, Pierre, and none other; and to what may be attributed that very memorable scene in the sewing-circle at the Miss Pennies.”

“My brother, I will now continue and tell you everything I think you would want to know, in addition to what was so vaguely discussed last night. About three months ago, the people at the far-off farmhouse where I was staying packed up and moved to some Western state. I didn’t immediately find a place that needed my help, but I was warmly welcomed at an old neighbor’s home and kindly invited to stay there until some job came up. However, I didn’t wait for luck to find me; my inquiries led me to discover the sad story of Delly Ulver. Due to the situation she faced, her elderly parents were not only consumed by deep sorrow, but they also lost the help of their only daughter—a loss that people who have always relied on servants can hardly understand. While it’s true that I felt a strange conflict thinking that Delly’s suffering could somehow benefit me, this didn’t really affect me in any practical way—my most genuine thoughts usually don’t. And so I came here, and my efforts will show that I didn’t come here for nothing. Now, my brother, since you left me yesterday, I have been quite surprised that you didn’t ask me about how and when I found out the name of Glendinning, which is so closely linked to my life; how I discovered that Saddle Meadows is the family home; and how I ultimately decided to address you as Pierre and no one else. I’m also curious why you didn’t ask about that memorable scene at the sewing circle at the Miss Pennies.”

“I have myself been wondering at myself that these things should hitherto have so entirely absented themselves from my mind,” responded Pierre;—“but truly, Isabel, thy all-abounding hair falls upon me with some spell which dismisses all ordinary considerations from me, and leaves me only sensible to the Nubian power in thine eyes. But go on, and tell me every thing and any thing. I desire to know all, Isabel, and yet, nothing which thou wilt not voluntarily disclose. I feel that already I know the pith of all; that already I feel toward thee to the very limit of all; and that, whatever remains for thee to tell me, can but corroborate and confirm. So go on, my dearest,—ay, my only sister.”

“I’ve been thinking about how I haven’t considered these things before,” Pierre responded. “But honestly, Isabel, your beautiful hair has an effect on me that makes me forget everything else and only pay attention to the incredible power in your eyes. So please, go on and tell me everything and anything you want. I want to know it all, Isabel, but only what you’re willing to share. I already feel like I understand most of it; I feel so close to you already. Whatever else you have to tell me will just confirm what I already know. So please continue, my dearest—my only sister.”

Isabel fixed her wonderful eyes upon him with a gaze of long impassionment; then rose suddenly to her feet, and advanced swiftly toward him; but more suddenly paused, and reseated herself in silence, and continued so for a time, with her head averted from him, and mutely resting on her hand, gazing out of the open casement upon the soft heat-lightning, occasionally revealed there.

Isabel fixed her beautiful eyes on him with a long, intense gaze; then she suddenly stood up and quickly moved toward him. But just as quickly, she stopped, sat back down in silence, and stayed that way for a while, her head turned away from him, resting her chin on her hand as she stared out the open window at the occasional soft heat lightning.

She resumed anon.

She resumed soon.


II.

“My brother, thou wilt remember that certain part of my story which in reference to my more childish years spent remote from here, introduced the gentleman—my—yes, our father, Pierre. I can not describe to thee, for indeed, I do not myself comprehend how it was, that though at the time I sometimes called him my father, and the people of the house also called him so, sometimes when speaking of him to me; yet—partly, I suppose, because of the extraordinary secludedness of my previous life—I did not then join in my mind with the word father, all those peculiar associations which the term ordinarily inspires in children. The word father only seemed a word of general love and endearment to me—little or nothing more; it did not seem to involve any claims of any sort, one way or the other. I did not ask the name of my father; for I could have had no motive to hear him named, except to individualize the person who was so peculiarly kind to me; and individualized in that way he already was, since he was generally called by us the gentleman, and sometimes my father. As I have no reason to suppose that had I then or afterward, questioned the people of the house as to what more particular name my father went by in the world, they would have at all disclosed it to me; and, indeed, since, for certain singular reasons, I now feel convinced that on that point they were pledged to secrecy; I do not know that I ever would have come to learn my father’s name,—and by consequence, ever have learned the least shade or shadow of knowledge as to you, Pierre, or any of your kin—had it not been for the merest little accident, which early revealed it to me, though at the moment I did not know the value of that knowledge. The last time my father visited the house, he chanced to leave his handkerchief behind him. It was the farmer’s wife who first discovered it. She picked it up, and fumbling at it a moment, as if rapidly examining the corners, tossed it to me, saying, ‘Here, Isabel, here is the good gentleman’s handkerchief; keep it for him now, till he comes to see little Bell again.’ Gladly I caught the handkerchief, and put it into my bosom. It was a white one; and upon closely scanning it, I found a small line of fine faded yellowish writing in the middle of it. At that time I could not read either print or writing, so I was none the wiser then; but still, some secret instinct told me, that the woman would not so freely have given me the handkerchief, had she known there was any writing on it. I forbore questioning her on the subject; I waited till my father should return, to secretly question him. The handkerchief had become dusty by lying on the uncarpeted floor. I took it to the brook and washed it, and laid it out on the grass where none would chance to pass; and I ironed it under my little apron, so that none would be attracted to it, to look at it again. But my father never returned; so, in my grief, the handkerchief became the more and the more endeared to me; it absorbed many of the secret tears I wept in memory of my dear departed friend, whom, in my child-like ignorance, I then equally called my father and the gentleman. But when the impression of his death became a fixed thing to me, then again I washed and dried and ironed the precious memorial of him, and put it away where none should find it but myself, and resolved never more to soil it with my tears; and I folded it in such a manner, that the name was invisibly buried in the heart of it, and it was like opening a book and turning over many blank leaves before I came to the mysterious writing, which I knew should be one day read by me, without direct help from any one. Now I resolved to learn my letters, and learn to read, in order that of myself I might learn the meaning of those faded characters. No other purpose but that only one, did I have in learning then to read. I easily induced the woman to give me my little teachings, and being uncommonly quick, and moreover, most eager to learn, I soon mastered the alphabet, and went on to spelling, and by-and-by to reading, and at last to the complete deciphering of the talismanic word—Glendinning. I was yet very ignorant. Glendinning, thought I, what is that? It sounds something like gentleman;—Glen-din-ning;—just as many syllables as gentleman; and—G—it begins with the same letter; yes, it must mean my father. I will think of him by that word now;—I will not think of the gentleman, but of Glendinning. When at last I removed from that house and went to another, and still another, and as I still grew up and thought more to myself, that word was ever humming in my head, I saw it would only prove the key to more. But I repressed all undue curiosity, if any such has ever filled my breast. I would not ask of any one, who it was that had been Glendinning; where he had lived; whether, ever any other girl or boy had called him father as I had done. I resolved to hold myself in perfect patience, as somehow mystically certain, that Fate would at last disclose to me, of itself, and at the suitable time, whatever Fate thought it best for me to know. But now, my brother, I must go aside a little for a moment.—Hand me the guitar.”

“My brother, you will remember that part of my story from my childhood years spent far away from here, which introduced the gentleman—my—yes, our father, Pierre. I can't really explain how it was that even though I sometimes called him my father, and the people in the house did too when talking about him, I didn’t connect the word father with all the special feelings it usually brings to children. To me, the word father felt like just a term of general love and affection—nothing more; it didn’t seem to come with any kind of claims or expectations. I never asked what my father's name was; I had no reason to want to know it other than to identify the person who was so uniquely kind to me; and in that way, he was already represented to me as the gentleman, and sometimes my father. I have no reason to think that if I had asked the people in the house what name my father went by in the world, they would have told me. In fact, for certain unusual reasons, I now believe they were sworn to secrecy about it; I don’t think I ever would have learned my father’s name—or any details about you, Pierre, or your family—had it not been for a tiny accident that revealed it to me early on, even though I didn’t realize the importance of that knowledge at the time. The last time my father visited the house, he accidentally left behind his handkerchief. The farmer’s wife was the first to find it. She picked it up, quickly checking the corners, and tossed it to me, saying, ‘Here, Isabel, here’s the good gentleman’s handkerchief; keep it for him until he comes to see little Bell again.’ I happily caught the handkerchief and tucked it into my bosom. It was white, and when I looked closely, I noticed a small line of faded yellowish writing in the middle. At that time, I couldn't read either print or writing, so I didn’t understand it then; but something instinctual told me that the woman wouldn’t have handed me the handkerchief so freely if she’d known there was any writing on it. I didn’t ask her about it; I waited for my father to come back to secretly ask him. The handkerchief became dusty from lying on the bare floor. I took it to the brook to wash it, laid it out on the grass where no one would happen to find it, and pressed it under my little apron so that no one would be tempted to look at it. But my father never returned; so, filled with sorrow, the handkerchief became even more precious to me; it soaked up many secret tears I shed for my dear departed friend, whom I, in my childish innocence, called both my father and the gentleman. But when I finally grasped the reality of his death, I washed, dried, and pressed the cherished reminder of him again, putting it away where no one would find it but me, and I promised to never let my tears stain it again; I folded it in such a way, that the name was invisibly hidden within, like opening a book and turning many blank pages before reaching the mysterious writing, which I knew I would one day read on my own. Now I was determined to learn my letters and how to read so that I could discover the meaning of those faded characters by myself. I had no other goal in learning to read. I easily convinced the woman to teach me a little, and being unusually quick and eager to learn, I soon mastered the alphabet, then moved on to spelling, and eventually reading, until I fully deciphered the magical word—Glendinning. I was still very ignorant. Glendinning, I thought, what does that mean? It sounds kind of like gentleman;—Glen-din-ning;—it has the same number of syllables as gentleman; and it starts with the same letter; yes, it must mean my father. I will think of him with that word now;—I won’t think of the gentleman, but of Glendinning. When I finally moved from that house to another, and then another, as I grew up and became more introspective, that word constantly echoed in my mind, I could see it was just the key to greater understanding. But I kept my curiosity in check, if I ever felt it. I wouldn’t ask anyone who Glendinning was; where he had lived; whether any other girl or boy had ever called him father like I did. I resolved to be perfectly patient, somehow mystically certain that Fate would eventually reveal to me, in its own time, whatever was best for me to know. But now, my brother, I need to step aside for a moment.—Hand me the guitar.”

Surprised and rejoiced thus far at the unanticipated newness, and the sweet lucidness and simplicity of Isabel’s narrating, as compared with the obscure and marvelous revelations of the night before, and all eager for her to continue her story in the same limpid manner, but remembering into what a wholly tumultuous and unearthly frame of mind the melodies of her guitar had formerly thrown him; Pierre now, in handing the instrument to Isabel, could not entirely restrain something like a look of half-regret, accompanied rather strangely with a half-smile of gentle humor. It did not pass unnoticed by his sister, who receiving the guitar, looked up into his face with an expression which would almost have been arch and playful, were it not for the ever-abiding shadows cast from her infinite hair into her unfathomed eyes, and redoubledly shot back again from them.

Surprised and delighted by the unexpected freshness and the clear simplicity of Isabel’s storytelling, especially compared to the mysterious and fantastic revelations from the night before, Pierre was eager for her to continue her story in the same clear way. However, remembering how the melodies of her guitar had previously thrown him into a completely chaotic and otherworldly state of mind, he couldn’t help but show a hint of regret mixed with a gentle, playful smile as he handed the instrument to Isabel. His sister noticed this, and as she took the guitar, she looked up at him with a playful expression that might have seemed mischievous if it weren't for the deep shadows cast by her flowing hair into her profound eyes, which reflected back even more intensity.

“Do not be alarmed, my brother; and do not smile at me; I am not going to play the Mystery of Isabel to thee to-night. Draw nearer to me now. Hold the light near to me.”

“Don’t be alarmed, brother; and don’t smile at me; I’m not going to put on the Mystery of Isabel for you tonight. Come closer to me now. Hold the light near to me.”

So saying she loosened some ivory screws of the guitar, so as to open a peep lengthwise through its interior.

So saying, she loosened some ivory screws on the guitar to take a look inside.

“Now hold it thus, my brother; thus; and see what thou wilt see; but wait one instant till I hold the lamp.” So saying, as Pierre held the instrument before him as directed, Isabel held the lamp so as to cast its light through the round sounding-hole into the heart of the guitar.

“Now hold it like this, my brother; like this; and see what you want to see; but wait just a moment until I hold the lamp.” With that, as Pierre held the instrument before him as instructed, Isabel positioned the lamp to cast its light through the round sounding hole into the heart of the guitar.

“Now, Pierre, now.”

"Now, Pierre, now."

Eagerly Pierre did as he was bid; but somehow felt disappointed, and yet surprised at what he saw. He saw the word Isabel, quite legibly but still fadedly gilded upon a part of one side of the interior, where it made a projecting curve.

Eagerly, Pierre did what he was told; but he felt a mix of disappointment and surprise at what he saw. He saw the word Isabel, clearly but still faintly gilded on one side of the interior, where it formed a slight curve.

“A very curious place thou hast chosen, Isabel, wherein to have the ownership of the guitar engraved. How did ever any person get in there to do it, I should like to know?”

“A very interesting place you’ve chosen, Isabel, to have the ownership of the guitar engraved. How did anyone even get in there to do it, I wonder?”

The girl looked surprisedly at him a moment; then took the instrument from him, and looked into it herself. She put it down, and continued.

The girl stared at him in surprise for a moment, then took the instrument from him and looked through it herself. She set it down and carried on.

“I see, my brother, thou dost not comprehend. When one knows every thing about any object, one is too apt to suppose that the slightest hint will suffice to throw it quite as open to any other person. I did not have the name gilded there, my brother.”

“I see, my brother, you don’t understand. When someone knows everything about an object, they tend to think that even the slightest hint will be enough to make it clear to someone else. I didn’t have the name written there, my brother.”

“How?” cried Pierre.

“How?” shouted Pierre.

“The name was gilded there when I first got the guitar, though then I did not know it. The guitar must have been expressly made for some one by the name of Isabel; because the lettering could only have been put there before the guitar was put together.”

“The name was gold-plated there when I first got the guitar, although I didn't know that at the time. The guitar must have been specifically made for someone named Isabel because the lettering could only have been added before the guitar was assembled.”

“Go on—hurry,” said Pierre.

“Go on—hurry up,” said Pierre.

“Yes, one day, after I had owned it a long time, a strange whim came into me. Thou know’st that it is not at all uncommon for children to break their dearest playthings in order to gratify a half-crazy curiosity to find out what is in the hidden heart of them. So it is with children, sometimes. And, Pierre, I have always been, and feel that I must always continue to be a child, though I should grow to three score years and ten. Seized with this sudden whim, I unscrewed the part I showed thee, and peeped in, and saw ‘Isabel.’ Now I have not yet told thee, that from as early a time as I can remember, I have nearly always gone by the name of Bell. And at the particular time I now speak of, my knowledge of general and trivial matters was sufficiently advanced to make it quite a familiar thing to me, that Bell was often a diminutive for Isabella, or Isabel. It was therefore no very strange affair, that considering my age, and other connected circumstances at the time, I should have instinctively associated the word Isabel, found in the guitar, with my own abbreviated name, and so be led into all sorts of fancyings. They return upon me now. Do not speak to me.”

“Yes, one day, after I had owned it for a long time, a strange whim struck me. You know that it’s not uncommon for kids to break their favorite toys just to satisfy a crazy curiosity about what’s inside them. It’s just how children can be sometimes. And, Pierre, I’ve always been, and I feel I’ll always be, a child, even if I live to be seventy. Overcome by this sudden whim, I unscrewed the part I showed you, peeked inside, and saw ‘Isabel.’ Now, I haven’t mentioned that from as far back as I can remember, I’ve mostly gone by the name Bell. At the time I’m talking about, my understanding of general and trivial matters was enough for me to know that Bell is often a shortened form of Isabella or Isabel. So, it wasn’t too surprising that, given my age and the circumstances at that moment, I instinctively connected the word Isabel, found in the guitar, with my own nickname, and got carried away with all sorts of fantasies. They come back to me now. Don’t speak to me.”

She leaned away from him, toward the occasionally illuminated casement, in the same manner as on the previous night, and for a few moments seemed struggling with some wild bewilderment But now she suddenly turned, and fully confronted Pierre with all the wonderfulness of her most surprising face.

She leaned away from him, toward the occasionally lit window, just like the night before, and for a few moments looked like she was grappling with some wild confusion. But then she suddenly turned and fully faced Pierre, showcasing the breathtaking beauty of her most surprising expression.

“I am called woman, and thou, man, Pierre; but there is neither man nor woman about it. Why should I not speak out to thee? There is no sex in our immaculateness. Pierre, the secret name in the guitar even now thrills me through and through. Pierre, think! think! Oh, canst thou not comprehend? see it?—what I mean, Pierre? The secret name in the guitar thrills me, thrills me, whirls me, whirls me; so secret, wholly hidden, yet constantly carried about in it; unseen, unsuspected, always vibrating to the hidden heart-strings—broken heart-strings; oh, my mother, my mother, my mother!”

"I’m called woman, and you’re man, Pierre; but there’s no real difference between us. Why shouldn’t I speak openly to you? Our purity has no gender. Pierre, the secret name in the guitar still sends chills through me. Pierre, think! think! Oh, can’t you understand? Can’t you see what I mean, Pierre? The secret name in the guitar excites me, it spins me around; so secret, completely hidden, yet always carried within it; unseen, unsuspected, always resonating with the hidden heart-strings—broken heart-strings; oh, my mother, my mother, my mother!"

As the wild plaints of Isabel pierced into his bosom’s core, they carried with them the first inkling of the extraordinary conceit, so vaguely and shrinkingly hinted at in her till now entirely unintelligible words.

As Isabel's wild cries pierced deep into his heart, they brought with them the first hint of the extraordinary idea, which had been vaguely and hesitantly suggested in her previously completely incomprehensible words.

She lifted her dry burning eyes of long-fringed fire to him.

She lifted her dry, burning eyes with long, fringed lashes to him.

“Pierre—I have no slightest proof—but the guitar was hers, I know, I feel it was. Say, did I not last night tell thee, how it first sung to me upon the bed, and answered me, without my once touching it? and how it always sung to me and answered me, and soothed and loved me,—Hark now; thou shalt hear my mother’s spirit.”

“Pierre—I don’t have any solid proof—but the guitar was hers, I just know it was. Remember how I told you last night about how it sang to me on the bed and responded to me without me even touching it? It always sang to me, comforted me, and loved me. Listen now; you’ll hear my mother’s spirit.”

She carefully scanned the strings, and tuned them carefully; then placed the guitar in the casement-bench, and knelt before it; and in low, sweet, and changefully modulated notes, so barely audible, that Pierre bent over to catch them; breathed the word mother, mother, mother! There was profound silence for a time; when suddenly, to the lowest and least audible note of all, the magical untouched guitar responded with a quick spark of melody, which in the following hush, long vibrated and subsidingly tingled through the room; while to his augmented wonder, he now espied, quivering along the metallic strings of the guitar, some minute scintillations, seemingly caught from the instrument’s close proximity to the occasionally irradiated window.

She carefully looked at the strings and tuned them precisely. Then she set the guitar on the bench and knelt before it. In soft, sweet, and varying notes, so barely audible that Pierre leaned in to hear, she breathed the word mother, mother, mother! There was complete silence for a moment, when suddenly, with the lowest and faintest note, the untouched guitar responded with a quick burst of melody, which lingered in the subsequent hush, vibrating and slowly fading through the room. To his heightened amazement, he now noticed tiny sparkles shimmering along the metallic strings of the guitar, seemingly caught from the instrument’s close proximity to the occasionally illuminated window.

The girl still kept kneeling; but an altogether unwonted expression suddenly overcast her whole countenance. She darted one swift glance at Pierre; and then with a single toss of her hand tumbled her unrestrained locks all over her, so that they tent-wise invested her whole kneeling form close to the floor, and yet swept the floor with their wild redundancy. Never Saya of Limeean girl, at dim mass in St. Dominic’s cathedral, so completely muffled the human figure. To Pierre, the deep oaken recess of the double-casement, before which Isabel was kneeling, seemed now the immediate vestibule of some awful shrine, mystically revealed through the obscurely open window, which ever and anon was still softly illumined by the mild heat-lightnings and ground-lightnings, that wove their wonderfulness without, in the unsearchable air of that ebonly warm and most noiseless summer night.

The girl continued to kneel, but an unfamiliar expression suddenly clouded her face. She shot a quick glance at Pierre, and then with a single toss of her hand, let her loose hair fall around her, creating a tent-like cover over her whole kneeling form, close to the floor, while still sweeping the ground with its wild abundance. No girl from Limeean at a dim mass in St. Dominic’s cathedral ever completely concealed the human figure like this. To Pierre, the deep oak recess of the double window where Isabel was kneeling now appeared to be the entrance to some terrifying shrine, mystically revealed through the slightly open window, which was occasionally softly illuminated by the gentle heat-lightnings and ground-lightnings, creating a sense of wonder in the dark, warm, and incredibly quiet summer night.

Some unsubduable word was on Pierre’s lip, but a sudden voice from out the veil bade him be silent.

Some uncontainable word was on Pierre’s lips, but a sudden voice from behind the veil told him to be quiet.

“Mother—mother—mother!”

"Mom—mom—mom!"

Again, after a preluding silence, the guitar as magically responded as before; the sparks quivered along its strings; and again Pierre felt as in the immediate presence of the spirit.

Again, after a moment of silence, the guitar responded just as magically as before; the sparks danced along its strings; and once more, Pierre felt as if he were in the immediate presence of the spirit.

“Shall I, mother?—Art thou ready? Wilt thou tell me?—Now? Now?”

“Should I, mom?—Are you ready? Will you tell me?—Now? Now?”

These words were lowly and sweetly murmured in the same way with the word mother, being changefully varied in their modulations, till at the last now, the magical guitar again responded; and the girl swiftly drew it to her beneath her dark tent of hair. In this act, as the long curls swept over the strings of the guitar, the strange sparks—still quivering there—caught at those attractive curls; the entire casement was suddenly and wovenly illumined; then waned again; while now, in the succeeding dimness, every downward undulating wave and billow of Isabel’s tossed tresses gleamed here and there like a tract of phosphorescent midnight sea; and, simultaneously, all the four winds of the world of melody broke loose, and again as on the previous night, only in a still more subtile, and wholly inexplicable way, Pierre felt himself surrounded by ten thousand sprites and gnomes, and his whole soul was swayed and tossed by supernatural tides; and again he heard the wondrous, rebounding, chanted words:

These words were softly and sweetly whispered just like the word mother, their tones changing and flowing. Finally, at that moment, the magical guitar responded again, and the girl quickly brought it beneath her long, dark hair. As her curls brushed against the guitar strings, strange sparks—still trembling there—caught in those lovely curls; the entire space was suddenly lit up in a woven glow, then faded again. In the following dimness, every flowing wave and curl of Isabel’s tousled hair shimmered like a patch of glowing midnight sea; and at the same time, all the breezes of melody were unleashed, and just like the night before, but in a more subtle and completely mysterious way, Pierre felt himself surrounded by countless sprites and gnomes, and his entire soul was swayed and tossed by otherworldly currents; and once more he heard the amazing, echoing, sung words:

“Mystery! Mystery!
  Mystery of Isabel!
  Mystery! Mystery!
  Isabel and Mystery!”
Mystery!

III.

ALMOST deprived of consciousness by the spell flung over him by the marvelous girl, Pierre unknowingly gazed away from her, as on vacancy; and when at last stillness had once more fallen upon the room—all except the stepping—and he recovered his self-possession, and turned to look where he might now be, he was surprised to see Isabel composedly, though avertedly, seated on the bench; the longer and fuller tresses of her now ungleaming hair flung back, and the guitar quietly leaning in the corner.

ALMOST knocked out of his thoughts by the spell cast by the amazing girl, Pierre unknowingly stared off into space, disconnected from her presence. When everything finally quieted down in the room—except for the sound of footsteps—and he regained his composure, he turned to check where he might be. To his surprise, he saw Isabel sitting calmly on the bench, her longer and fuller hair tossed back and her guitar resting quietly in the corner.

He was about to put some unconsidered question to her, but she half-anticipated it by bidding him, in a low, but nevertheless almost authoritative tone, not to make any allusion to the scene he had just beheld.

He was about to ask her something thoughtless, but she almost anticipated it by telling him, in a quiet but still somewhat commanding tone, not to mention the scene he had just witnessed.

He paused, profoundly thinking to himself, and now felt certain that the entire scene, from the first musical invocation of the guitar, must have unpremeditatedly proceeded from a sudden impulse in the girl, inspired by the peculiar mood into which the preceding conversation, and especially the handling of the guitar under such circumstances, had irresistibly thrown her.

He paused, deep in thought, and now felt sure that everything happening, starting from the first strum of the guitar, must have spontaneously come from a sudden urge in the girl, sparked by the unique vibe created by their earlier conversation, and particularly by the way she was playing the guitar in those moments.

But that certain something of the preternatural in the scene, of which he could not rid his mind:—the, so to speak, voluntary and all but intelligent responsiveness of the guitar—its strangely scintillating strings—the so suddenly glorified head of Isabel; altogether, these things seemed not at the time entirely produced by customary or natural causes. To Pierre’s dilated senses Isabel seemed to swim in an electric fluid; the vivid buckler of her brow seemed as a magnetic plate. Now first this night was Pierre made aware of what, in the superstitiousness of his rapt enthusiasm, he could not help believing was an extraordinary physical magnetism in Isabel. And—as it were derived from this marvelous quality thus imputed to her—he now first became vaguely sensible of a certain still more marvelous power in the girl over himself and his most interior thoughts and motions;—a power so hovering upon the confines of the invisible world, that it seemed more inclined that way than this;—a power which not only seemed irresistibly to draw him toward Isabel, but to draw him away from another quarter—wantonly as it were, and yet quite ignorantly and unintendingly; and, besides, without respect apparently to any thing ulterior, and yet again, only under cover of drawing him to her. For over all these things, and interfusing itself with the sparkling electricity in which she seemed to swim, was an ever-creeping and condensing haze of ambiguities. Often, in after-times with her, did he recall this first magnetic night, and would seem to see that she then had bound him to her by an extraordinary atmospheric spell—both physical and spiritual—which henceforth it had become impossible for him to break, but whose full potency he never recognized till long after he had become habituated to its sway. This spell seemed one with that Pantheistic master-spell, which eternally locks in mystery and in muteness the universal subject world, and the physical electricalness of Isabel seemed reciprocal with the heat-lightnings and the ground-lightnings nigh to which it had first become revealed to Pierre. She seemed molded from fire and air, and vivified at some Voltaic pile of August thunder-clouds heaped against the sunset.

But that certain something of the supernatural in the scene, which he couldn't shake off from his mind—the almost intelligent response of the guitar, its strangely shimmering strings, and the suddenly illuminated face of Isabel—altogether, these things didn’t seem to him at the moment to be caused by anything ordinary or natural. To Pierre’s heightened senses, Isabel seemed to float in an electric aura; the bright shield of her forehead felt like a magnetic surface. It was only that night that Pierre realized, in the superstitious excitement of his inspiration, that he couldn't help but believe Isabel had an extraordinary physical magnetism. And—derived from this remarkable quality he attributed to her—he began to sense, however vaguely, an even more remarkable influence she had over him and his innermost thoughts and feelings; a power that hovered on the edge of the unseen world, seeming to favor that direction rather than this one; a force that not only drew him toward Isabel but also away from elsewhere—almost playfully, yet completely unknowingly and unintentionally; and, besides, seemingly without regard for any underlying motive, and yet again, only while secretly pulling him closer to her. Over everything hung a creeping and thickening fog of uncertainties, intertwined with the sparkling energy she seemed to swim in. Often, in later times with her, he would recall that first magnetic night, feeling that she had somehow enchanted him with an extraordinary atmospheric spell—both physical and spiritual—which it became impossible for him to break, and whose full power he wouldn’t recognize until long after he had gotten used to its influence. This spell felt intertwined with that Pantheistic master-spell, which eternally locks the universal world in mystery and silence, and Isabel’s physical electricity seemed to resonate with the heat lightning and ground lightning that had first revealed itself to Pierre. She appeared to be made of fire and air, alive with some electric charge of summer thunderclouds piled against the sunset.

The occasional sweet simplicity, and innocence, and humbleness of her story; her often serene and open aspect; her deep-seated, but mostly quiet, unobtrusive sadness, and that touchingness of her less unwonted tone and air;—these only the more signalized and contrastingly emphasized the profounder, subtler, and more mystic part of her. Especially did Pierre feel this, when after another silent interval, she now proceeded with her story in a manner so gently confiding, so entirely artless, so almost peasant-like in its simplicity, and dealing in some details so little sublimated in themselves, that it seemed well nigh impossible that this unassuming maid should be the same dark, regal being who had but just now bade Pierre be silent in so imperious a tone, and around whose wondrous temples the strange electric glory had been playing. Yet not very long did she now thus innocently proceed, ere, at times, some fainter flashes of her electricalness came from her, but only to be followed by such melting, human, and most feminine traits as brought all his soft, enthusiast tears into the sympathetic but still unshedding eyes of Pierre.

The occasional sweetness, simplicity, innocence, and humility of her story; her often calm and open demeanor; her deep but mostly quiet, unassuming sadness; and the emotional quality of her less common tone and presence—these elements highlighted and contrasted with the deeper, subtler, and more mysterious parts of her. Pierre especially felt this when, after another silent pause, she continued her story in a way that was so gently trusting, entirely genuine, and almost peasant-like in its simplicity, dealing with some details that were so raw that it seemed nearly impossible that this humble girl could also be the same dark, regal figure who had just commanded Pierre to be silent in such an authoritative tone and around whom a strange electric aura had been swirling. Yet, she didn't maintain this innocent demeanor for long before, at times, faint flashes of her electric nature emerged, only to be followed by such tender, human, and distinctly feminine qualities that brought all his soft, heartfelt tears to the sympathetic but still unfallen eyes of Pierre.


IV.

“Thou rememberest, my brother, my telling thee last night, how the—the—thou knowest what I mean—that, there”—avertedly pointing to the guitar; “thou rememberest how it came into my possession. But perhaps I did not tell thee, that the pedler said he had got it in barter from the servants of a great house some distance from the place where I was then residing.”

“Do you remember, my brother, when I told you last night about the—the—you know what I mean—that, there” — accidentally pointing to the guitar; “do you remember how it came into my possession? But maybe I didn’t tell you that the peddler said he got it in trade from the servants of a big house some distance from where I was living at that time.”

Pierre signed his acquiescence, and Isabel proceeded:

Pierre agreed, and Isabel went on:

“Now, at long though stated intervals, that man passed the farm-house in his trading route between the small towns and villages. When I discovered the gilding in the guitar, I kept watch for him; for though I truly felt persuaded that Fate had the dispensing of her own secrets in her own good time; yet I also felt persuaded that in some cases Fate drops us one little hint, leaving our own minds to follow it up, so that we of ourselves may come to the grand secret in reserve. So I kept diligent watch for him; and the next time he stopped, without permitting him at all to guess my motives, I contrived to steal out of him what great house it was from which the guitar had come. And, my brother, it was the mansion of Saddle Meadows.”

“Now, after a long time of passing by, that guy traveled through the farm-house on his trade route between the small towns and villages. When I found the gold on the guitar, I kept an eye out for him; because even though I really believed that Fate would reveal her secrets when the time was right, I also thought that sometimes Fate gives us a little clue, allowing us to figure it out ourselves, so we can discover the big secret that's waiting for us. So I stayed vigilant for him; and the next time he stopped, without letting him suspect my intentions, I managed to find out from him which grand house the guitar had come from. And, brother, it was the mansion of Saddle Meadows.”

Pierre started, and the girl went on:

Pierre started, and the girl continued:

“Yes, my brother, Saddle Meadows; ‘old General Glendinning’s place,’ he said; ‘but the old hero’s long dead and gone now; and—the more’s the pity—so is the young General, his son, dead and gone; but then there is a still younger grandson General left; that family always keep the title and the name a-going; yes, even to the surname,—Pierre. Pierre Glendinning was the white-haired old General’s name, who fought in the old French and Indian wars; and Pierre Glendinning is his young great-grandson’s name.’ Thou may’st well look at me so, my brother;—yes, he meant thee, thee, my brother.”

“Yes, my brother, Saddle Meadows; ‘old General Glendinning’s place,’ he said; ‘but the old hero’s long gone now; and—sadly—so is the young General, his son; but there’s still a younger grandson General left; that family always keeps the title and the name going; yes, even the surname,—Pierre. Pierre Glendinning was the white-haired old General’s name, who fought in the old French and Indian wars; and Pierre Glendinning is his young great-grandson’s name.’ You may well look at me like that, my brother;—yes, he meant you, you, my brother.”

“But the guitar—the guitar!”—cried Pierre—“how came the guitar openly at Saddle Meadows, and how came it to be bartered away by servants? Tell me that, Isabel!”

“But the guitar—the guitar!” Pierre exclaimed. “How did the guitar end up at Saddle Meadows, and how was it traded away by the servants? Tell me that, Isabel!”

“Do not put such impetuous questions to me, Pierre; else thou mayst recall the old—may be, it is the evil spell upon me. I can not precisely and knowingly answer thee. I could surmise; but what are surmises worth? Oh, Pierre, better, a million times, and far sweeter are mysteries than surmises: though the mystery be unfathomable, it is still the unfathomableness of fullness; but the surmise, that is but shallow and unmeaning emptiness.”

“Don’t ask me such impulsive questions, Pierre; you might bring back the old—maybe it’s the curse on me. I can’t give you a clear and definite answer. I could guess; but what are guesses worth? Oh, Pierre, it’s a million times better and much sweeter to deal with mysteries than guesses: even if the mystery is impossible to understand, it still has the depth of richness; but a guess is just shallow and meaningless emptiness.”

“But this is the most inexplicable point of all. Tell me, Isabel; surely thou must have thought something about this thing.”

“But this is the most mysterious point of all. Tell me, Isabel; you must have thought something about this.”

“Much, Pierre, very much; but only about the mystery of it—nothing more. Could I, I would not now be fully told, how the guitar came to be at Saddle Meadows, and came to be bartered away by the servants of Saddle Meadows. Enough, that it found me out, and came to me, and spoke and sung to me, and soothed me, and has been every thing to me.”

“Yeah, Pierre, a lot; but just about the mystery of it—nothing else. If I could, I still wouldn’t really know how the guitar ended up at Saddle Meadows, or how the servants there traded it away. What matters is that it found me, came into my life, spoke and sang to me, comforted me, and has meant everything to me.”

She paused a moment; while vaguely to his secret self Pierre revolved these strange revealings; but now he was all attention again as Isabel resumed.

She paused for a moment while Pierre secretly processed these strange revelations, but now he was fully focused again as Isabel continued.

“I now held in my mind’s hand the clew, my brother. But I did not immediately follow it further up. Sufficient to me in my loneliness was the knowledge, that I now knew where my father’s family was to be found. As yet not the slightest intention of ever disclosing myself to them, had entered my mind. And assured as I was, that for obvious reasons, none of his surviving relatives could possibly know me, even if they saw me, for what I really was, I felt entire security in the event of encountering any of them by chance. But my unavoidable displacements and migrations from one house to another, at last brought me within twelve miles of Saddle Meadows. I began to feel an increasing longing in me; but side by side with it, a new-born and competing pride,—yes, pride, Pierre. Do my eyes flash? They belie me, if they do not. But it is no common pride, Pierre; for what has Isabel to be proud of in this world? It is the pride of—of—a too, too longing, loving heart, Pierre—the pride of lasting suffering and grief, my brother! Yes, I conquered the great longing with the still more powerful pride, Pierre; and so I would not now be here, in this room,—nor wouldst thou ever have received any line from me; nor, in all worldly probability, ever so much as heard of her who is called Isabel Banford, had it not been for my hearing that at Walter Ulver’s, only three miles from the mansion of Saddle Meadows, poor Bell would find people kind enough to give her wages for her work. Feel my hand, my brother.”

“I now held the clue in my mind, my brother. But I didn’t immediately pursue it further. What mattered to me in my loneliness was knowing where to find my father’s family. I hadn’t even considered revealing myself to them. I was confident that, for obvious reasons, none of his surviving relatives could possibly recognize me, even if they saw me as I truly am, so I felt completely secure in the chance of running into any of them. However, my unavoidable moves from one place to another eventually brought me within twelve miles of Saddle Meadows. I started to feel an increasing longing inside me; but alongside it, a new and competing pride—yes, pride, Pierre. Do my eyes flash? They betray me if they don't. But it’s not ordinary pride, Pierre; what does Isabel have to be proud of in this world? It’s the pride of—a too, too longing, loving heart, Pierre—the pride of enduring suffering and grief, my brother! Yes, I conquered the great longing with the even stronger pride, Pierre; and so I wouldn’t be here in this room now—nor would you have ever received any note from me; nor, in all likelihood, ever even heard of her who is called Isabel Banford, had it not been for me finding out that at Walter Ulver’s, only three miles from the Saddle Meadows estate, poor Bell would find people kind enough to pay her for her work. Feel my hand, my brother.”

“Dear divine girl, my own exalted Isabel!” cried Pierre, catching the offered hand with ungovernable emotion, “how most unbeseeming, that this strange hardness, and this still stranger littleness should be united in any human hand. But hard and small, it by an opposite analogy hints of the soft capacious heart that made the hand so hard with heavenly submission to thy most undeserved and martyred lot. Would, Isabel, that these my kisses on the hand, were on the heart itself, and dropt the seeds of eternal joy and comfort there.”

“Dear divine girl, my own exalted Isabel!” cried Pierre, taking her offered hand with overwhelming emotion. “How inappropriate it is that this strange hardness and this even stranger smallness should be found in any human hand. But hard and small, it suggests the opposite—a soft, generous heart that endured this hard hand out of a heavenly submission to your most undeserved and tragic fate. Oh, Isabel, I wish that these kisses on your hand were on your heart itself, planting the seeds of everlasting joy and comfort there.”

He leaped to his feet, and stood before her with such warm, god-like majesty of love and tenderness, that the girl gazed up at him as though he were the one benignant star in all her general night.

He jumped to his feet and stood in front of her with such warm, god-like majesty of love and tenderness that the girl looked up at him as if he were the one kind star in all her darkness.

“Isabel,” cried Pierre, “I stand the sweet penance in my father’s stead, thou, in thy mother’s. By our earthly acts we shall redeemingly bless both their eternal lots; we will love with the pure and perfect love of angel to an angel. If ever I fall from thee, dear Isabel, may Pierre fall from himself; fall back forever into vacant nothingness and night!”

“Isabel,” shouted Pierre, “I’m taking on my father’s burden, and you’re taking on your mother’s. Through our actions here on earth, we can bless their eternal fates; we will love each other with the pure and perfect love that angels have for one another. If I ever stray from you, dear Isabel, may I completely lose myself; may I fall into endless nothingness and darkness!”

“My brother, my brother, speak not so to me; it is too much; unused to any love ere now, thine, so heavenly and immense, falls crushing on me! Such love is almost hard to bear as hate. Be still; do not speak to me.”

“My brother, my brother, please don’t talk to me like that; it’s too much. I’m not used to any love before now, and yours, so beautiful and overwhelming, feels like a weight on me! Such love is almost as hard to handle as hate. Please be quiet; don’t say anything to me.”

They were both silent for a time; when she went on.

They both stayed quiet for a while, and then she continued.

“Yes, my brother, Fate had now brought me within three miles of thee; and—but shall I go straight on, and tell thee all, Pierre? all? every thing? art thou of such divineness, that I may speak straight on, in all my thoughts, heedless whither they may flow, or what things they may float to me?”

“Yes, my brother, Fate has now brought me within three miles of you; and—but should I just go ahead and tell you everything, Pierre? All of it? Every thought? Are you so understanding that I can speak freely, without worrying about where my thoughts might lead me or what they might bring up?”

“Straight on, and fearlessly,” said Pierre.

"Go straight ahead, and without fear," said Pierre.

“By chance I saw thy mother, Pierre, and under such circumstances that I knew her to be thy mother; and—but shall I go on?”

“By chance, I saw your mother, Pierre, and in such a way that I knew she was your mother; and—but should I continue?”

“Straight on, my Isabel; thou didst see my mother—well?”

“Go straight on, my Isabel; you saw my mother—right?”

“And when I saw her, though I spake not to her, nor she to me, yet straightway my heart knew that she would love me not.”

“And when I saw her, even though I didn’t speak to her and she didn’t speak to me, my heart immediately knew that she wouldn’t love me.”

“Thy heart spake true,” muttered Pierre to himself; “go on.”

"Your heart spoke true," Pierre muttered to himself; "go on."

“I re-swore an oath never to reveal myself to thy mother.”

"I reaffirmed my promise never to show myself to your mother."

“Oath well sworn,” again he muttered; “go on.”

“Oath well sworn,” he muttered again; “go on.”

“But I saw thee, Pierre; and, more than ever filled my mother toward thy father, Pierre, then upheaved in me. Straightway I knew that if ever I should come to be made known to thee, then thy own generous love would open itself to me.”

“But I saw you, Pierre; and, more than ever, my mother’s feelings toward your father stirred within me. Right away, I knew that if I ever got to know you, your own generous love would be ready to embrace me.”

“Again thy heart spake true,” he murmured; “go on—and didst thou re-swear again?”

“Once again your heart spoke the truth,” he murmured; “go ahead—and did you swear again?”

“No, Pierre; but yes, I did. I swore that thou wert my brother; with love and pride I swore, that young and noble Pierre Glendinning was my brother!”

“No, Pierre; but yes, I did. I swore that you were my brother; with love and pride I swore, that young and noble Pierre Glendinning was my brother!”

“And only that?”

"Is that all?"

“Nothing more, Pierre; not to thee even, did I ever think to reveal myself.”

“Nothing more, Pierre; I never thought I would reveal myself to you, either.”

“How then? thou art revealed to me.”

“How then? you are revealed to me.”

“Yes; but the great God did it, Pierre—not poor Bell. Listen.

“Yes; but the great God did it, Pierre—not poor Bell. Listen.

“I felt very dreary here; poor, dear Delly—thou must have heard something of her story—a most sorrowful house, Pierre. Hark! that is her seldom-pausing pacing thou hearest from the floor above. So she keeps ever pacing, pacing, pacing; in her track, all thread-bare, Pierre, is her chamber-rug. Her father will not look upon her; her mother, she hath cursed her to her face. Out of yon chamber, Pierre, Delly hath not slept, for now four weeks and more; nor ever hath she once laid upon her bed; it was last made up five weeks ago; but paces, paces, paces, all through the night, till after twelve; and then sits vacant in her chair. Often I would go to her to comfort her; but she says, ‘Nay, nay, nay,’ to me through the door; says ‘Nay, nay, nay,’ and only nay to me, through the bolted door; bolted three weeks ago—when I by cunning arts stole her dead baby from her, and with these fingers, alone, by night, scooped out a hollow, and, seconding heaven’s own charitable stroke, buried that sweet, wee symbol of her not unpardonable shame far from the ruthless foot of man—yes, bolted three weeks ago, not once unbolted since; her food I must thrust through the little window in her closet. Pierre, hardly these two handfuls has she eaten in a week.”

“I felt really down here; poor, dear Delly—you must have heard something about her story—a very sad home, Pierre. Listen! That’s her rare pacing you hear from the floor above. She just keeps pacing, pacing, pacing; her chamber rug is completely worn out from her steps, Pierre. Her father won’t even look at her; her mother has cursed her to her face. Delly hasn’t slept in that room for over four weeks now; she hasn’t even once laid down on her bed—it was last made five weeks ago. Instead, she paces, paces, paces all through the night, until after midnight, and then just sits vacant in her chair. I often try to comfort her, but she just says, ‘No, no, no,’ to me through the door; says ‘No, no, no,’ and just no to me through the locked door; it’s been locked for three weeks—ever since I, by clever means, took her dead baby from her and, with these hands, late at night, dug a small grave to bury that sweet, tiny symbol of her not entirely unforgivable shame far from the harsh reality of the world—yes, locked for three weeks and not once opened since; I have to push her food through the little window in her closet. Pierre, she’s barely eaten two handfuls in a week.”

“Curses, wasp-like, cohere on that villain, Ned, and sting him to his death!” cried Pierre, smit by this most piteous tale. “What can be done for her, sweet Isabel; can Pierre do aught?”

“Curses, like wasps, swarm around that villain, Ned, and sting him until he dies!” shouted Pierre, struck by this heartbreaking story. “What can we do for her, sweet Isabel; can Pierre help in any way?”

“If thou or I do not, then the ever-hospitable grave will prove her quick refuge, Pierre. Father and mother both, are worse than dead and gone to her. They would have turned her forth, I think, but for my own poor petitionings, unceasing in her behalf!”

“If you or I don’t, then the ever-welcoming grave will offer her a quick escape, Pierre. Both father and mother are worse than dead and gone to her. They would have cast her out, I think, if it weren’t for my own constant pleading on her behalf!”

Pierre’s deep concern now gave place to a momentary look of benevolent intelligence.

Pierre's deep worry was momentarily replaced by a look of kind understanding.

“Isabel, a thought of benefit to Delly has just entered me; but I am still uncertain how best it may be acted on. Resolved I am though to succor her. Do thou still hold her here yet awhile, by thy sweet petitionings, till my further plans are more matured. Now run on with thy story, and so divert me from the pacing;—her every step steps in my soul.”

“Isabel, I just had a thought that could help Delly; but I'm still not sure how to go about it. I am determined to help her, though. Can you keep her here for a little longer with your sweet persuasion until I have everything figured out? Now, continue with your story and distract me from pacing; every step she takes weighs on my mind.”

“Thy noble heart hath many chambers, Pierre; the records of thy wealth, I see, are not bound up in the one poor book of Isabel, my brother. Thou art a visible token, Pierre, of the invisible angel-hoods, which in our darker hours we do sometimes distrust. The gospel of thy acts goes very far, my brother. Were all men like to thee, then were there no men at all,—mankind extinct in seraphim!”

“Your noble heart has many chambers, Pierre; I can see that your wealth isn't just confined to Isabel's one poor book, my brother. You are a visible sign of the invisible angelic qualities that we sometimes doubt in our darker moments. The impact of your actions is significant, my brother. If all men were like you, there would be no men at all—humanity would be replaced by seraphim!”

“Praises are for the base, my sister, cunningly to entice them to fair Virtue by our ignorings of the ill in them, and our imputings of the good not theirs. So make not my head to hang, sweet Isabel. Praise me not. Go on now with thy tale.”

“Compliments are for the lowly, my sister, cleverly used to draw them towards true Virtue by overlooking their faults and attributing good qualities that aren’t really theirs. So don’t let my head hang, sweet Isabel. Don’t praise me. Continue with your story now.”

“I have said to thee, my brother, how most dreary I found it here, and from the first. Wonted all my life to sadness—if it be such—still, this house hath such acuteness in its general grief, such hopelessness and despair of any slightest remedy—that even poor Bell could scarce abide it always, without some little going forth into contrasting scenes. So I went forth into the places of delight, only that I might return more braced to minister in the haunts of woe. For continual unchanging residence therein, doth but bring on woe’s stupor, and make us as dead. So I went forth betimes; visiting the neighboring cottages; where there were chattering children, and no one place vacant at the cheerful board. Thus at last I chanced to hear of the Sewing Circle to be held at the Miss Pennies’; and how that they were anxious to press into their kind charity all the maidens of the country round. In various cottages, I was besought to join; and they at length persuaded me; not that I was naturally loth to it, and needed such entreaties; but at first I felt great fear, lest at such a scene I might closely encounter some of the Glendinnings; and that thought was then namelessly repulsive to me. But by stealthy inquiries I learned, that the lady of the manorial-house would not be present;—it proved deceptive information;—but I went; and all the rest thou knowest.”

"I’ve told you, my brother, how dreary I found it here from the very beginning. I've always been used to sadness—if that’s what it is—but this house has such a sharp sense of its overall grief, such hopelessness and despair for even the slightest remedy, that even poor Bell could hardly stand it all the time without escaping to some brighter scenes. So I ventured out to places of joy, just to come back feeling more energized to help in the places of sorrow. Being constantly surrounded by it only brings on a numbness to grief and makes us feel dead inside. So I set out early, visiting the nearby cottages where there were laughing children and no empty seats at the cheerful table. Eventually, I heard about the Sewing Circle being held at the Miss Pennies’ and how they were eager to invite all the young women from the area into their kind charity. In several cottages, I was urged to join, and they finally convinced me—not that I was really against it and needed all that convincing; at first, I just felt a lot of fear that I might run into some of the Glendinnings there, and that thought was inexplicably off-putting to me. But through discreet inquiries, I learned that the lady of the manorial house wouldn’t be attending; that turned out to be false information; but I went anyway, and everything else you already know."

“I do, sweet Isabel, but thou must tell it over to me; and all thy emotions there.”

“I do, sweet Isabel, but you have to share it all with me; and all your feelings too.”


V.

“Though but one day hath passed, my brother, since we first met in life, yet thou hast that heavenly magnet in thee, which draws all my soul’s interior to thee. I will go on.—Having to wait for a neighbor’s wagon, I arrived but late at the Sewing Circle. When I entered, the two joined rooms were very full. With the farmer’s girls, our neighbors, I passed along to the further corner, where thou didst see me; and as I went, some heads were turned, and some whisperings I heard, of—‘She’s the new help at poor Walter Ulver’s—the strange girl they’ve got—she thinks herself ’mazing pretty, I’ll be bound;—but nobody knows her—Oh, how demure!—but not over-good, I guess;—I wouldn’t be her, not I—mayhap she’s some other ruined Delly, run away;—minx!’ It was the first time poor Bell had ever mixed in such a general crowded company; and knowing little or nothing of such things, I had thought, that the meeting being for charity’s sweet sake, uncharity could find no harbor there; but no doubt it was mere thoughtlessness, not malice in them. Still, it made my heart ache in me sadly; for then I very keenly felt the dread suspiciousness, in which a strange and lonely grief invests itself to common eyes; as if grief itself were not enough, nor innocence any armor to us, but despite must also come, and icy infamy! Miserable returnings then I had—even in the midst of bright-budding girls and full-blown women—miserable returnings then I had of the feeling, the bewildering feeling of the inhumanities I spoke of in my earlier story. But Pierre, blessed Pierre, do not look so sadly and half-reproachfully upon me. Lone and lost though I have been, I love my kind; and charitably and intelligently pity them, who uncharitably and unintelligently do me despite. And thou, thou, blessed brother, hath glorified many somber places in my soul, and taught me once for all to know, that my kind are capable of things which would be glorious in angels. So look away from me, dear Pierre, till thou hast taught thine eyes more wonted glances.”

“Although only one day has passed, my brother, since we first met in life, you have that heavenly magnetism in you that draws all my soul toward you. I will continue. Waiting for a neighbor’s wagon delayed me, and I arrived late at the Sewing Circle. When I walked in, the two adjoining rooms were very crowded. I went with the farmer’s daughters, our neighbors, to the far corner where you saw me; and as I moved, some heads turned, and I heard whispers—‘She's the new help at poor Walter Ulver's—the strange girl they’ve got—she thinks she’s incredibly pretty, I’m sure;—but nobody knows her—Oh, how demure!—but probably not all good, I guess;—I wouldn’t want to be her, that’s for sure—maybe she’s some other ruined girl who ran away;—minx!’ It was the first time poor Bell had ever been in such a large crowd, and knowing little about these situations, I thought that since the gathering was for the sake of charity, there would be no uncharitable feelings there; but it was probably just thoughtlessness, not malice on their part. Still, it made my heart ache deeply; for then I felt the acute suspicion that comes when strange and lonely grief is viewed by common eyes; as if grief itself weren’t enough, nor innocence any protection for us, but on top of that must come scorn and harsh judgment! I had such miserable reflections then—even in the midst of bright, blooming girls and full-grown women—miserable reflections I had of the inhumanities I spoke of in my earlier story. But Pierre, dear Pierre, don’t look at me so sadly and with that half-reproachful gaze. Alone and lost though I have been, I love my fellow humans; and I genuinely and intelligently pity those who uncharitably and foolishly mistreat me. And you, dear brother, have brought light to many dark places in my soul, and you’ve taught me to see that my kind are capable of things that would be glorious even for angels. So please, look away from me, dear Pierre, until you have learned to gaze with eyes that are more accustomed to this.”

“They are vile falsifying telegraphs of me, then, sweet Isabel. What my look was I can not tell, but my heart was only dark with ill-restrained upbraidings against heaven that could unrelentingly see such innocence as thine so suffer. Go on with thy too-touching tale.”

“They are disgusting, lying echoes of me, then, sweet Isabel. I can't describe my expression, but my heart was filled with dark, uncontained accusations against a heaven that could coldly witness such innocence as yours suffer. Please continue with your heartbreaking story.”

“Quietly I sat there sewing, not brave enough to look up at all, and thanking my good star, that had led me to so concealed a nook behind the rest: quietly I sat there, sewing on a flannel shirt, and with each stitch praying God, that whatever heart it might be folded over, the flannel might hold it truly warm; and keep out the wide-world-coldness which I felt myself; and which no flannel, or thickest fur, or any fire then could keep off from me; quietly I sat there sewing, when I heard the announcing words—oh, how deep and ineffaceably engraved they are!—‘Ah, dames, dames, Madame Glendinning,—Master Pierre Glendinning.’ Instantly, my sharp needle went through my side and stitched my heart; the flannel dropt from my hand; thou heard’st my shriek. But the good people bore me still nearer to the casement close at hand, and threw it open wide; and God’s own breath breathed on me; and I rallied; and said it was some merest passing fit—’twas quite over now—I was used to it—they had my heart’s best thanks—but would they now only leave me to myself, it were best for me;—I would go on and sew. And thus it came and passed away; and again I sat sewing on the flannel, hoping either that the unanticipated persons would soon depart, or else that some spirit would catch me away from there; I sat sewing on—till, Pierre! Pierre!—without looking up—for that I dared not do at any time that evening—only once—without looking up, or knowing aught but the flannel on my knee, and the needle in my heart, I felt,—Pierre, felt—a glance of magnetic meaning on me. Long, I, shrinking, sideways turned to meet it, but could not; till some helping spirit seized me, and all my soul looked up at thee in my full-fronting face. It was enough. Fate was in that moment. All the loneliness of my life, all the choked longings of my soul, now poured over me. I could not away from them. Then first I felt the complete deplorableness of my state; that while thou, my brother, had a mother, and troops of aunts and cousins, and plentiful friends in city and in country—I, I, Isabel, thy own father’s daughter, was thrust out of all hearts’ gates, and shivered in the winter way. But this was but the least. Not poor Bell can tell thee all the feelings of poor Bell, or what feelings she felt first. It was all one whirl of old and new bewilderings, mixed and slanted with a driving madness. But it was most the sweet, inquisitive, kindly interested aspect of thy face,—so strangely like thy father’s, too—the one only being that I first did love—it was that which most stirred the distracting storm in me; most charged me with the immense longings for some one of my blood to know me, and to own me, though but once, and then away. Oh, my dear brother—Pierre! Pierre!—could’st thou take out my heart, and look at it in thy hand, then thou would’st find it all over written, this way and that, and crossed again, and yet again, with continual lines of longings, that found no end but in suddenly calling thee. Call him! Call him! He will come!—so cried my heart to me; so cried the leaves and stars to me, as I that night went home. But pride rose up—the very pride in my own longings,—and as one arm pulled, the other held. So I stood still, and called thee not. But Fate will be Fate, and it was fated. Once having met thy fixed regardful glance; once having seen the full angelicalness in thee, my whole soul was undone by thee; my whole pride was cut off at the root, and soon showed a blighting in the bud; which spread deep into my whole being, till I knew, that utterly decay and die away I must, unless pride let me go, and I, with the one little trumpet of a pen, blew my heart’s shrillest blast, and called dear Pierre to me. My soul was full; and as my beseeching ink went tracing o’er the page, my tears contributed their mite, and made a strange alloy. How blest I felt that my so bitterly tear-mingled ink—that last depth of my anguish—would never be visibly known to thee, but the tears would dry upon the page, and all be fair again, ere the so submerged-freighted letter should meet thine eye.

“Quietly, I sat there sewing, too scared to look up, thankful for my good luck that had brought me to such a hidden spot behind everyone else. I sat there, sewing on a flannel shirt, and with each stitch, I prayed to God that whoever it might be wrapped in it would be kept truly warm and shielded from the cold of the world that I felt myself; a cold that not even the thickest flannel, fur, or any fire could keep away from me. I was quietly sewing when I heard the announcing words—oh, how deeply etched they are!—‘Ah, ladies, ladies, Madame Glendinning,—Master Pierre Glendinning.’ In an instant, my sharp needle pricked my side and stitched my heart; the flannel dropped from my hand; you heard my scream. But the kind people brought me closer to the window nearby and threw it open wide; and the breath of God refreshed me; I regained my composure; I said it was just a passing fainting spell—it was over now—I was used to it—they had my heart's gratitude—but if they would only leave me alone, it would be best for me;—I would continue sewing. And thus it came and passed; and again I sat sewing on the flannel, hoping that either the unexpected guests would soon leave or that some spirit would sweep me away from there; I sat sewing—until, Pierre! Pierre!—without looking up—for I dared not do that at any moment that evening—only once—without looking up, or knowing anything but the flannel on my knee and the needle in my heart, I felt,—Pierre, felt—a glance with magnetic meaning on me. For a long time, I, shrinking, turned sideways to meet it, but couldn’t; until some assisting spirit seized me, and my whole soul looked up at you in my full face. It was enough. Fate was in that moment. All the loneliness of my life, all the choked longings of my soul, now poured over me. I couldn’t escape them. Then I first felt the complete misery of my state; that while you, my brother, had a mother, and crowds of aunts and cousins, and plenty of friends in the city and the countryside—I, Isabel, your own father's daughter, was shut out of all hearts’ gates, shivering in the winter's grip. But this was just the beginning. Not even poor Bell can tell you all the feelings of poor Bell, or which feelings overwhelmed her first. It was all a whirlwind of old and new confusions, mixed and slanted with a driving madness. But it was mostly the sweet, curious, kind, and interested look on your face—so strangely like your father's, the one person I first loved—that stirred the raging storm within me; charged me with immense longings for someone of my blood to know me, and to acknowledge me, even just once, and then go. Oh, my dear brother—Pierre! Pierre!—if you could take my heart out and look at it in your hand, you would find it covered in writing, this way and that, crossed and recrossed with constant lines of longing, ending only in calling for you. Call him! Call him!—my heart cried to me; so cried the leaves and stars as I went home that night. But pride rose up—the very pride in my own longings—and as one arm pulled, the other held back. So I stood still and did not call you. But fate is fate, and it was meant to be. Once having met your steady, attentive gaze; once having seen the fullness of angelic beauty in you, I was utterly undone by you; all my pride was cut off at the root, showing signs of decay even in the budding, which spread deep within me, until I knew I must completely wither away, unless pride let me go, and I, with the one tiny trumpet of a pen, blew my heart’s shrillest call and summoned dear Pierre to me. My soul was full; and as my pleading ink traced across the page, my tears added their touch, creating a strange mix. How blessed I felt that my painfully tear-soaked ink—that last depth of my anguish—would never be visible to you, but the tears would dry on the page, and everything would be alright again before that heavily laden letter reached your eyes.”

“Ah, there thou wast deceived, poor Isabel,” cried Pierre impulsively; “thy tears dried not fair, but dried red, almost like blood; and nothing so much moved my inmost soul as that tragic sight.”

“Ah, you were deceived, poor Isabel,” Pierre exclaimed impulsively; “your tears didn’t dry nicely, but dried red, almost like blood; and nothing affected my deepest feelings as much as that tragic sight.”

“How? how? Pierre, my brother? Dried they red? Oh, horrible! enchantment! most undreamed of!”

“How? How? Pierre, my brother? Did they dry red? Oh, how terrible! What a spell! It’s so unbelievable!”

“Nay, the ink—the ink! something chemic in it changed thy real tears to seeming blood;—only that, my sister.”

“Nah, the ink—the ink! There’s something chemical in it that turned your real tears into what looks like blood;—just that, my sister.”

“Oh Pierre! thus wonderfully is it—seems to me—that our own hearts do not ever know the extremity of their own sufferings; sometimes we bleed blood, when we think it only water. Of our sufferings, as of our talents, others sometimes are the better judges. But stop me! force me backward to my story! Yet methinks that now thou knowest all;—no, not entirely all. Thou dost not know what planned and winnowed motive I did have in writing thee; nor does poor Bell know that; for poor Bell was too delirious to have planned and winnowed motives then. The impulse in me called thee, not poor Bell. God called thee, Pierre, not poor Bell. Even now, when I have passed one night after seeing thee, and hearkening to all thy full love and graciousness; even now, I stand as one amazed, and feel not what may be coming to me, or what will now befall me, from having so rashly claimed thee for mine. Pierre, now, now, this instant a vague anguish fills me. Tell me, by loving me, by owning me, publicly or secretly,—tell me, doth it involve any vital hurt to thee? Speak without reserve; speak honestly; as I do to thee! Speak now, Pierre, and tell me all!”

“Oh Pierre! It seems to me—how wonderfully it is—that our hearts never truly grasp the depth of their own pain; sometimes we bleed as if it were just water. Others can often judge our suffering, just like they can our talents. But wait! Pull me back to my story! Yet I feel like you know almost everything; no, not quite everything. You don't know the careful thought I put into writing to you; and poor Bell doesn’t know that either, because she was too lost in her own feelings to have any clear thoughts then. It was my urge that called for you, not poor Bell. God called you, Pierre, not poor Bell. Even now, after spending a night thinking about you and all your love and kindness, I still feel amazed. I don't know what's going to happen to me for having claimed you as mine so impulsively. Pierre, right now, this very moment, I feel a vague anxiety creeping in. Tell me, by loving me, by claiming me, whether in public or in private—does it bring you any real harm? Speak freely; be honest; just like I am with you! Speak now, Pierre, and tell me everything!”

“Is Love a harm? Can Truth betray to pain? Sweet Isabel, how can hurt come in the path to God? Now, when I know thee all, now did I forget thee, fail to acknowledge thee, and love thee before the wide world’s whole brazen width—could I do that; then might’st thou ask thy question reasonably and say—Tell me, Pierre, does not the suffocating in thee of poor Bell’s holy claims, does not that involve for thee unending misery? And my truthful soul would echo—Unending misery! Nay, nay, nay. Thou art my sister and I am thy brother; and that part of the world which knows me, shall acknowledge thee; or by heaven I will crush the disdainful world down on its knees to thee, my sweet Isabel!”

“Is love harmful? Can truth lead to pain? Sweet Isabel, how can hurt come on the path to God? Now that I know you completely, I forget you, fail to recognize you, and love you in front of the whole wide world—if I could do that, then you might ask your question reasonably and say—Tell me, Pierre, doesn’t being suffocated by poor Bell’s holy claims mean endless misery for you? And my honest soul would respond—Endless misery! No, no, no. You are my sister and I am your brother; and that part of the world that knows me will recognize you; or by heaven, I will bring the disdainful world down on its knees to you, my sweet Isabel!”

“The menacings in thy eyes are dear delights to me; I grow up with thy own glorious stature; and in thee, my brother, I see God’s indignant embassador to me, saying—Up, up, Isabel, and take no terms from the common world, but do thou make terms to it, and grind thy fierce rights out of it! Thy catching nobleness unsexes me, my brother; and now I know that in her most exalted moment, then woman no more feels the twin-born softness of her breasts, but feels chain-armor palpitating there!”

"The threats in your eyes are precious to me; I rise up to your glorious height; and in you, my brother, I see God’s angry messenger telling me—Get up, Isabel, and don't accept anything from the ordinary world; instead, make demands from it and fight for your fierce rights! Your inspiring nobility makes me feel stronger, my brother; and now I realize that in her highest moment, a woman no longer feels the familiar softness of her breasts, but instead feels the weight of armor beating against her!"

Her changed attitude of beautiful audacity; her long scornful hair, that trailed out a disheveled banner; her wonderful transfigured eyes, in which some meteors seemed playing up; all this now seemed to Pierre the work of an invisible enchanter. Transformed she stood before him; and Pierre, bowing low over to her, owned that irrespective, darting majesty of humanity, which can be majestical and menacing in woman as in man.

Her changed attitude of beautiful boldness; her long, disdainful hair that flowed like a messy banner; her amazing, transformed eyes, where some stars seemed to dance; all of this now appeared to Pierre as if it were the work of an unseen magician. She stood before him, transformed; and Pierre, bowing deeply to her, admitted that bold, piercing majesty of humanity, which can be both majestic and intimidating in a woman just as it is in a man.

But her gentler sex returned to Isabel at last; and she sat silent in the casement’s niche, looking out upon the soft ground-lightnings of the electric summer night.

But her softer side came back to Isabel at last; and she sat quietly in the window nook, gazing out at the gentle flashes of light from the electric summer night.


VI.

SADLY smiling, Pierre broke the pause.

Sad smile, Pierre broke the pause.

“My sister, thou art so rich, that thou must do me alms; I am very hungry; I have forgotten to eat since breakfast;—and now thou shalt bring me bread and a cup of water, Isabel, ere I go forth from thee. Last night I went rummaging in a pantry, like a bake-house burglar; but to-night thou and I must sup together, Isabel; for as we may henceforth live together, let us begin forthwith to eat in company.”

“My sister, you’re so wealthy that you have to help me out; I’m really hungry. I haven’t eaten since breakfast, and now you need to give me some bread and a cup of water, Isabel, before I leave you. Last night I was scavenging in a pantry like a burglar in a bakery, but tonight you and I should have dinner together, Isabel; since we’re going to be living together from now on, let’s start eating together right away.”

Isabel looked up at him, with sudden and deep emotion, then all acquiescing sweetness, and silently left the room.

Isabel looked up at him, filled with sudden and deep emotion, then, with everything agreeable and sweet, silently left the room.

As she returned, Pierre, casting his eyes toward the ceiling, said—“She is quiet now, the pacing hath entirely ceased.”

As she came back, Pierre looked up at the ceiling and said, “She’s quiet now; the pacing has completely stopped.”

“Not the beating, tho’; her foot hath paused, not her unceasing heart. My brother, she is not quiet now; quiet for her hath gone; so that the pivoted stillness of this night is yet a noisy madness to her.”

“Not the beating, though; her foot has stopped, but her heart keeps pounding. My brother, she’s not calm now; calm is gone for her; so the stillness of this night feels like a chaotic noise to her.”

“Give me pen or pencil, and some paper, Isabel.”

“Give me a pen or pencil, and some paper, Isabel.”

She laid down her loaf, and plate, and knife, and brought him pen, and ink, and paper.

She set down her loaf, plate, and knife, and brought him a pen, ink, and paper.

Pierre took the pen.

Pierre picked up the pen.

“Was this the one, dear Isabel?”

“Was this the one, dear Isabel?”

“It is the one, my brother; none other is in this poor cot.”

“It’s the one, my brother; there’s no one else in this poor home.”

He gazed at it intensely. Then turning to the table, steadily wrote the following note:

He stared at it intently. Then, turning to the table, he began to write the following note:

“For Delly Ulver: with the deep and true regard and sympathy of Pierre Glendinning.

“For Delly Ulver: with the deep and genuine respect and sympathy of Pierre Glendinning.

“Thy sad story—partly known before—hath now more fully come to me, from one who sincerely feels for thee, and who hath imparted her own sincerity to me. Thou desirest to quit this neighborhood, and be somewhere at peace, and find some secluded employ fitted to thy sex and age. With this, I now willingly charge myself, and insure it to thee, so far as my utmost ability can go. Therefore—if consolation be not wholly spurned by thy great grief, which too often happens, though it be but grief’s great folly so to feel—therefore, two true friends of thine do here beseech thee to take some little heart to thee, and bethink thee, that all thy life is not yet lived; that Time hath surest healing in his continuous balm. Be patient yet a little while, till thy future lot be disposed for thee, through our best help; and so, know me and Isabel thy earnest friends and true-hearted lovers.”

"Your sad story—partly known to me before—has now come to me more fully, from someone who genuinely cares for you and has shared their sincerity with me. You want to leave this area, find some peace, and engage in some quiet work that suits your gender and age. I’m willing to take this on for you and promise to help as much as I can. So, if you can accept some comfort amid your deep sorrow—which often happens, although it’s a foolish way for grief to feel—two of your true friends are asking you to find a little courage and remember that your life isn’t over yet; that Time surely provides healing in its ongoing way. Be patient for just a little while longer until your future is sorted out through our best efforts; and know that Isabel and I are your sincere friends and devoted supporters."

He handed the note to Isabel. She read it silently, and put it down, and spread her two hands over him, and with one motion lifted her eyes toward Delly and toward God.

He gave the note to Isabel. She read it quietly, set it down, spread her hands over him, and with one motion, lifted her eyes toward Delly and then toward God.

“Thou think’st it will not pain her to receive the note, Isabel? Thou know’st best. I thought, that ere our help do really reach her, some promise of it now might prove slight comfort. But keep it, and do as thou think’st best.”

"Do you think it won't hurt her to get the note, Isabel? You know best. I thought that before our help actually gets to her, a promise of it now might offer a little comfort. But keep it, and do what you think is best."

“Then straightway will I give it her, my brother,” said Isabel, quitting him.

“Then I'll give it to her right away, my brother,” said Isabel, leaving him.

An infixing stillness, now thrust a long rivet through the night, and fast nailed it to that side of the world. And alone again in such an hour, Pierre could not but listen. He heard Isabel’s step on the stair; then it approached him from above; then he heard a gentle knock, and thought he heard a rustling, as of paper slid over a threshold underneath a door. Then another advancing and opposite step tremblingly met Isabel’s; and then both steps stepped from each other, and soon Isabel came back to him.

A heavy stillness settled in, striking a long nail through the night, firmly anchoring it to that side of the world. Alone once more in that hour, Pierre found himself listening. He heard Isabel’s footsteps on the stairs; they drew closer from above, then he heard a soft knock, and thought he detected a rustling, like paper sliding over the threshold beneath a door. After that, another hesitant step met Isabel’s, and then both steps moved away from each other, and soon Isabel returned to him.

“Thou did’st knock, and slide it underneath the door?”

“You knocked and slid it under the door?”

“Yes, and she hath it now. Hark! a sobbing! Thank God, long arid grief hath found a tear at last. Pity, sympathy hath done this.—Pierre, for thy dear deed thou art already sainted, ere thou be dead.”

“Yes, and she has it now. Listen! A sob! Thank God, long dry grief has finally found a tear. Compassion and sympathy have done this. —Pierre, for your precious act, you are already a saint, even before you are dead.”

“Do saints hunger, Isabel?” said Pierre, striving to call her away from this. “Come, give me the loaf; but no, thou shalt help me, my sister.—Thank thee;—this is twice over the bread of sweetness.—Is this of thine own making, Isabel?”

“Do saints get hungry, Isabel?” said Pierre, trying to distract her from this. “Come on, give me the loaf; but no, you’ll help me, my sister.—Thank you;—this is the second time the bread has been sweet.—Did you make this yourself, Isabel?”

“My own making, my brother.”

"My own creation, my brother."

“Give me the cup; hand it me with thine own hand. So:—Isabel, my heart and soul are now full of deepest reverence; yet I do dare to call this the real sacrament of the supper.—Eat with me.”

“Give me the cup; hand it to me with your own hand. So:—Isabel, my heart and soul are now filled with the deepest respect; yet I do dare to call this the true sacrament of the supper.—Eat with me.”

They eat together without a single word; and without a single word, Pierre rose, and kissed her pure and spotless brow, and without a single word departed from the place.

They ate together in silence; then, without saying a word, Pierre stood up, kissed her clean and innocent forehead, and quietly left the room.


VII.

WE know not Pierre Glendinning’s thoughts as he gained the village and passed on beneath its often shrouding trees, and saw no light from man, and heard no sound from man, but only, by intervals, saw at his feet the soft ground-lightnings, snake-like, playing in and out among the blades of grass; and between the trees, caught the far dim light from heaven, and heard the far wide general hum of the sleeping but still breathing earth.

WE don’t know what Pierre Glendinning was thinking as he moved through the village, passing under the often concealing trees, seeing no light from anyone, and hearing no sounds from anyone, but occasionally glimpsing the soft ground-lightning at his feet, snake-like, weaving in and out among the blades of grass; and between the trees, catching the faint distant light from the sky, and hearing the broad, gentle hum of the earth, which was sleeping but still alive.

He paused before a detached and pleasant house, with much shrubbery about it. He mounted the portico and knocked distinctly there, just as the village clock struck one. He knocked, but no answer came. He knocked again, and soon he heard a sash thrown up in the second story, and an astonished voice inquired who was there?

He paused in front of a charming, separate house surrounded by plenty of shrubs. He climbed up to the porch and knocked firmly, just as the village clock chimed one. He knocked again, but there was no response. After another knock, he soon heard a window open on the second floor, and a surprised voice asked who was there.

“It is Pierre Glendinning, and he desires an instant interview with the Reverend Mr. Falsgrave.”

“It’s Pierre Glendinning, and he wants to meet with Reverend Mr. Falsgrave right away.”

“Do I hear right?—in heaven’s name, what is the matter, young gentleman?”

“Am I hearing you correctly?—for heaven’s sake, what’s going on, young man?”

“Every thing is the matter; the whole world is the matter. Will you admit me, sir?”

“Everything is wrong; the whole world is a mess. Will you let me in, sir?”

“Certainly—but I beseech thee—nay, stay, I will admit thee.”

“Of course—but please, wait, I will let you in.”

In quicker time than could have been anticipated, the door was opened to Pierre by Mr. Falsgrave in person, holding a candle, and invested in his very becoming student’s wrapper of Scotch plaid.

In less time than expected, Mr. Falsgrave personally opened the door for Pierre, holding a candle and wearing a stylish student’s robe made of Scotch plaid.

“For heaven’s sake, what is the matter, Mr. Glendinning?”

“For heaven's sake, what's going on, Mr. Glendinning?”

“Heaven and earth is the matter, sir! shall we go up to the study?”

“Heaven and earth are the issue, sir! Should we head up to the study?”

“Certainly, but—but—”

“Sure, but—but—”

“Well, let us proceed, then.”

"Okay, let's move forward then."

They went up-stairs, and soon found themselves in the clergyman’s retreat, and both sat down; the amazed host still holding the candle in his hand, and intently eying Pierre, with an apprehensive aspect.

They went upstairs and soon found themselves in the clergyman's private room, where they both sat down. The surprised host continued to hold the candle in his hand, intently watching Pierre with a worried expression.

“Thou art a man of God, sir, I believe.”

“You are a man of God, sir, I believe.”

“I? I? I? upon my word, Mr. Glendinning!”

“I? I? I? Honestly, Mr. Glendinning!”

“Yes, sir, the world calls thee a man of God. Now, what hast thou, the man of God, decided, with my mother, concerning Delly Ulver?”

“Yes, sir, the world calls you a man of God. Now, what have you, the man of God, decided, with my mother, about Delly Ulver?”

“Delly Ulver! why, why—what can this madness mean?”

“Delly Ulver! What on earth—what does this craziness mean?”

“It means, sir, what have thou and my mother decided concerning Delly Ulver.”

“It means, sir, what have you and my mother decided about Delly Ulver?”

“She?—Delly Ulver? She is to depart the neighborhood; why, her own parents want her not.”

"Her?—Delly Ulver? She’s leaving the neighborhood; her own parents don’t want her here."

How is she to depart? Who is to take her? Art thou to take her? Where is she to go? Who has food for her? What is to keep her from the pollution to which such as she are every day driven to contribute, by the detestable uncharitableness and heartlessness of the world?”

How is she supposed to leave? Who is going to take her? Are you going to take her? Where is she supposed to go? Who has food for her? What is going to protect her from the unfairness that people like her are pushed to deal with every day, due to the awful unkindness and lack of compassion in the world?”

“Mr. Glendinning,” said the clergyman, now somewhat calmly putting down the candle, and folding himself with dignity in his gown; “Mr. Glendinning, I will not now make any mention of my natural astonishment at this most unusual call, and the most extraordinary time of it. Thou hast sought information upon a certain point, and I have given it to thee, to the best of my knowledge. All thy after and incidental questions, I choose to have no answer for. I will be most happy to see thee at any other time, but for the present thou must excuse my presence. Good-night, sir.”

“Mr. Glendinning,” the clergyman said, now somewhat calmly putting down the candle and wrapping himself in his gown with a sense of dignity, “Mr. Glendinning, I won’t mention my natural surprise at this very unusual visit and the strange timing of it. You’ve asked about a specific point, and I have provided the information to the best of my knowledge. As for any further questions you have, I choose not to answer them. I’d be happy to see you at another time, but for now, I must ask you to excuse me. Good night, sir.”

But Pierre sat entirely still, and the clergyman could not but remain standing still.

But Pierre sat completely still, and the clergyman had no choice but to stay standing still.

“I perfectly comprehend the whole, sir. Delly Ulver, then, is to be driven out to starve or rot; and this, too, by the acquiescence of a man of God. Mr. Falsgrave, the subject of Delly, deeply interesting as it is to me, is only the preface to another, still more interesting to me, and concerning which I once cherished some slight hope that thou wouldst have been able, in thy Christian character, to sincerely and honestly counsel me. But a hint from heaven assures me now, that thou hast no earnest and world-disdaining counsel for me. I must seek it direct from God himself, whom, I now know, never delegates his holiest admonishings. But I do not blame thee; I think I begin to see how thy profession is unavoidably entangled by all fleshly alliances, and can not move with godly freedom in a world of benefices. I am more sorry than indignant. Pardon me for my most uncivil call, and know me as not thy enemy. Good-night, sir.”

“I completely understand everything, sir. So, Delly Ulver is going to be cast out to starve or decay; and this is happening with the agreement of a man of God. Mr. Falsgrave, the matter of Delly, though it interests me deeply, is just the introduction to another issue that is even more important to me. I once hoped that you, in your Christian character, would genuinely and honestly advise me on it. But now, a message from heaven tells me that you have no sincere and world-disregarding advice for me. I need to seek it directly from God himself, who, I now realize, never delegates his highest guidance. But I don’t blame you; I think I’m beginning to see how your profession is inevitably tied up with all fleshly alliances and cannot operate with godly freedom in a world of benefices. I feel more sorrow than anger. Please forgive my rude intrusion, and know that I am not your enemy. Goodnight, sir.”

BOOK IX.
MORE LIGHT, AND THE GLOOM OF THAT LIGHT. MORE GLOOM, AND THE LIGHT OF THAT GLOOM.

I.

IN those Hyperborean regions, to which enthusiastic Truth, and Earnestness, and Independence, will invariably lead a mind fitted by nature for profound and fearless thought, all objects are seen in a dubious, uncertain, and refracting light. Viewed through that rarefied atmosphere the most immemorially admitted maxims of men begin to slide and fluctuate, and finally become wholly inverted; the very heavens themselves being not innocent of producing this confounding effect, since it is mostly in the heavens themselves that these wonderful mirages are exhibited.

IN those Hyperborean regions, where enthusiastic Truth, Earnestness, and Independence will always guide a mind naturally suited for deep and fearless thought, everything is seen in a questionable, unclear, and distorted light. Through that thin atmosphere, the most time-honored beliefs of people start to shift and waver, eventually becoming completely reversed; even the heavens are not free from causing this bewildering effect, as it is often in the heavens where these amazing mirages appear.

But the example of many minds forever lost, like undiscoverable Arctic explorers, amid those treacherous regions, warns us entirely away from them; and we learn that it is not for man to follow the trail of truth too far, since by so doing he entirely loses the directing compass of his mind; for arrived at the Pole, to whose barrenness only it points, there, the needle indifferently respects all points of the horizon alike.

But the example of many minds lost forever, like undiscovered Arctic explorers in those dangerous areas, completely warns us against them; and we realize that it's not wise for people to chase after truth too aggressively, because in doing so, they totally lose their mental compass; for when they reach the Pole, which only points to its desolation, the needle equally disregards all points of the horizon.

But even the less distant regions of thought are not without their singular introversions. Hardly any sincere man of ordinary reflective powers, and accustomed to exercise them at all, but must have been independently struck by the thought, that, after all, what is so enthusiastically applauded as the march of mind,—meaning the inroads of Truth into Error—which has ever been regarded by hopeful persons as the one fundamental thing most earnestly to be prayed for as the greatest possible Catholic blessing to the world;—almost every thinking man must have been some time or other struck with the idea, that, in certain respects, a tremendous mistake may be lurking here, since all the world does never gregariously advance to Truth, but only here and there some of its individuals do; and by advancing, leave the rest behind; cutting themselves forever adrift from their sympathy, and making themselves always liable to be regarded with distrust, dislike, and often, downright—though, ofttimes, concealed—fear and hate. What wonder, then, that those advanced minds, which in spite of advance, happen still to remain, for the time, ill-regulated, should now and then be goaded into turning round in acts of wanton aggression upon sentiments and opinions now forever left in their rear. Certain it is, that in their earlier stages of advance, especially in youthful minds, as yet untranquilized by long habituation to the world as it inevitably and eternally is; this aggressiveness is almost invariably manifested, and as invariably afterward deplored by themselves.

But even the less distant areas of thought have their own unique reflections. Almost every sincerely curious person with some ability to think has likely been struck by the idea that, after all, what is so enthusiastically celebrated as the progress of thought—meaning the triumph of Truth over Error—which has always been seen by optimistic individuals as the one fundamental thing they should fervently wish for as the greatest blessing for the world; almost every reflective person must have at some point sensed that a significant mistake might be hiding here, since not everyone progresses toward Truth collectively, but only certain individuals do; and by progressing, they leave others behind, cutting themselves off from their shared understanding and making themselves vulnerable to being seen with distrust, dislike, and often, outright—though sometimes hidden—fear and hate. It’s no surprise, then, that those advanced thinkers, who despite their progress may still be, for the time being, unfocused, should occasionally feel compelled to lash out against beliefs and opinions they've long left behind. It’s clear that in the early stages of their development, especially in young minds, still unsettled by the reality of the world as it is and always will be, this aggression often shows up, and is just as often regretted by them later.

That amazing shock of practical truth, which in the compass of a very few days and hours had not so much advanced, as magically transplanted the youthful mind of Pierre far beyond all common discernments; it had not been entirely unattended by the lamentable rearward aggressiveness we have endeavored to portray above. Yielding to that unwarrantable mood, he had invaded the profound midnight slumbers of the Reverend Mr. Falsgrave, and most discourteously made war upon that really amiable and estimable person. But as through the strange force of circumstances his advance in insight had been so surprisingly rapid, so also was now his advance in some sort of wisdom, in charitableness; and his concluding words to Mr. Falsgrave, sufficiently evinced that already, ere quitting that gentleman’s study, he had begun to repent his ever entering it on such a mission.

That amazing shock of practical truth, which in just a few days had not so much progressed as magically transported Pierre's youthful mind far beyond all ordinary understanding; it had not come without the unfortunate backward aggressiveness we mentioned earlier. Giving in to that unreasonable mood, he had intruded on the deep midnight slumber of Reverend Mr. Falsgrave and rather rudely waged conflict against that genuinely kind and respectable person. But just as his insight had remarkably advanced due to unusual circumstances, so too had his growth in wisdom and kindness; and his final words to Mr. Falsgrave clearly showed that, even before leaving that gentleman’s study, he had already begun to regret entering it on such a mission.

And as he now walked on in the profound meditations induced by the hour; and as all that was in him stirred to and fro, intensely agitated by the ever-creative fire of enthusiastic earnestness, he became fully alive to many palliating considerations, which had they previously occurred to him would have peremptorily forbidden his impulsive intrusion upon the respectable clergyman.

And as he walked on, deeply lost in thought during that time; and as everything within him stirred back and forth, intensely stirred by the ever-growing fire of passionate seriousness, he became fully aware of many mitigating factors that, had they crossed his mind earlier, would have definitely stopped him from impulsively intruding on the respectable clergyman.

But it is through the malice of this earthly air, that only by being guilty of Folly does mortal man in many cases arrive at the perception of Sense. A thought which should forever free us from hasty imprecations upon our ever-recurring intervals of Folly; since though Folly be our teacher, Sense is the lesson she teaches; since if Folly wholly depart from us, Further Sense will be her companion in the flight, and we will be left standing midway in wisdom. For it is only the miraculous vanity of man which ever persuades him, that even for the most richly gifted mind, there ever arrives an earthly period, where it can truly say to itself, I have come to the Ultimate of Human Speculative Knowledge; hereafter, at this present point I will abide. Sudden onsets of new truth will assail him, and over-turn him as the Tartars did China; for there is no China Wall that man can build in his soul, which shall permanently stay the irruptions of those barbarous hordes which Truth ever nourishes in the loins of her frozen, yet teeming North; so that the Empire of Human Knowledge can never be lasting in any one dynasty, since Truth still gives new Emperors to the earth.

But it's through the harshness of this earthly existence that, often, it's only by being foolish that humans come to understand wisdom. This idea should free us from quickly cursing our frequent moments of folly; for while folly may be our teacher, wisdom is the lesson it imparts. If folly completely leaves us, further wisdom will go with it, and we'll find ourselves stuck in the middle of understanding. It's the astonishing arrogance of humanity that leads us to believe that even the brightest mind eventually reaches a point where it can confidently say, “I have attained the pinnacle of human knowledge; from this moment, I will stay here.” New truths will suddenly confront us and topple our understanding like the Tartars did to China; there is no wall we can build in our souls that will keep out the relentless invasions of those untamed ideas that truth continually produces in its frozen, yet abundant origins. Thus, the realm of human knowledge can never be sustained in a single era, as truth keeps bringing new leaders to the world.

But the thoughts we here indite as Pierre’s are to be very carefully discriminated from those we indite concerning him. Ignorant at this time of the ideas concerning the reciprocity and partnership of Folly and Sense, in contributing to the mental and moral growth of the mind; Pierre keenly upbraided his thoughtlessness, and began to stagger in his soul; as distrustful of that radical change in his general sentiments, which had thus hurried him into a glaring impropriety and folly; as distrustful of himself, the most wretched distrust of all. But this last distrust was not of the heart; for heaven itself, so he felt, had sanctified that with its blessing; but it was the distrust of his intellect, which in undisciplinedly espousing the manly enthusiast cause of his heart, seemed to cast a reproach upon that cause itself.

But the thoughts we express as Pierre’s need to be carefully distinguished from those we express about him. At this moment, unaware of the ideas regarding the balance between Folly and Sense in contributing to mental and moral growth, Pierre harshly criticized his own thoughtlessness and began to feel unsteady in his soul; just as doubtful of the fundamental shift in his overall beliefs that had led him into such a clear mistake and foolishness; as doubtful of himself, which is the most miserable doubt of all. But this last doubt didn't come from his heart; because he felt that heaven itself had blessed that part. Instead, it was a doubt about his intellect, which, in hastily supporting the passionate cause of his heart, seemed to cast a shadow on that very cause.

But though evermore hath the earnest heart an eventual balm for the most deplorable error of the head; yet in the interval small alleviation is to be had, and the whole man droops into nameless melancholy. Then it seems as though the most magnanimous and virtuous resolutions were only intended for fine spiritual emotions, not as mere preludes to their bodily translation into acts; since in essaying their embodiment, we have but proved ourselves miserable bunglers, and thereupon taken ignominious shame to ourselves. Then, too, the never-entirely repulsed hosts of Commonness, and Conventionalness, and Worldly Prudent-mindedness return to the charge; press hard on the faltering soul; and with inhuman hootings deride all its nobleness as mere eccentricity, which further wisdom and experience shall assuredly cure. The man is as seized by arms and legs, and convulsively pulled either way by his own indecisions and doubts. Blackness advances her banner over this cruel altercation, and he droops and swoons beneath its folds.

But even though the determined heart eventually finds comfort for the worst mistakes of the mind, in the meantime there is little relief, and the whole person sinks into a nameless sadness. It feels like the most noble and virtuous intentions are just meant for lofty feelings, not as mere steps towards actually acting on them; because when we try to put them into practice, we just show ourselves to be terrible at it, and then we feel shame. Additionally, the ever-present forces of Ordinaryness, Conventionality, and Prudence push back harder; they pressure the wavering soul and mock its nobility as just weirdness, which, with more wisdom and experience, will surely be fixed. The person is pulled in different directions, caught in their own uncertainties and doubts. Darkness raises its flag over this painful struggle, and they feel weak and faint under its weight.

It was precisely in this mood of mind that, at about two in the morning, Pierre, with a hanging head, now crossed the private threshold of the Mansion of Saddle Meadows.

It was exactly in this state of mind that, around two in the morning, Pierre, with his head down, crossed the private entrance of the Mansion of Saddle Meadows.


II.

IN the profoundly silent heart of a house full of sleeping serving-men and maids, Pierre now sat in his chamber before his accustomed round table, still tossed with the books and the papers which, three days before, he had abruptly left, for a sudden and more absorbing object. Uppermost and most conspicuous among the books were the Inferno of Dante, and the Hamlet of Shakspeare.

IN the deeply quiet heart of a house full of sleeping servants, Pierre now sat in his room at his usual round table, still cluttered with the books and papers he had suddenly left three days earlier for something more compelling. At the top of the pile and most noticeable among the books were Dante's Inferno and Shakespeare's Hamlet.

His mind was wandering and vague; his arm wandered and was vague. Soon he found the open Inferno in his hand, and his eye met the following lines, allegorically overscribed within the arch of the outgoings of the womb of human life:

His mind was drifting and unclear; his arm was also aimless and uncertain. Soon he found the open Inferno in his hand, and his eyes landed on the following lines, symbolically written within the arch of the beginnings of human life:

“Through me you pass into the city of Woe;
  Through me you pass into eternal pain;
  Through me, among the people lost for aye.
  *     *     *     *     *  
  All hope abandon, ye who enter here.”

He dropped the fatal volume from his hand; he dropped his fated head upon his chest.

He let the deadly book slip from his hand; he lowered his head, resigned, onto his chest.

His mind was wandering and vague; his arm wandered and was vague. Some moments passed, and he found the open Hamlet in his hand, and his eyes met the following lines:

His mind was drifting and unclear; his arm was also drifting and unclear. A few moments went by, and he realized he was holding the open Hamlet, and his eyes landed on the following lines:

“The time is out of joint;—Oh cursed spite,
  That ever I was born to set it right!”

He dropped the too true volume from his hand; his petrifying heart dropped hollowly within him, as a pebble down Carrisbrook well.

He let the heavy book fall from his hand; his heart sank inside him, echoing like a pebble dropped into Carrisbrook well.


III.

THE man Dante Alighieri received unforgivable affronts and insults from the world; and the poet Dante Alighieri bequeathed his immortal curse to it, in the sublime malediction of the Inferno. The fiery tongue whose political forkings lost him the solacements of this world, found its malicious counterpart in that muse of fire, which would forever bar the vast bulk of mankind from all solacement in the worlds to come. Fortunately for the felicity of the Dilletante in Literature, the horrible allegorical meanings of the Inferno, lie not on the surface; but unfortunately for the earnest and youthful piercers into truth and reality, those horrible meanings, when first discovered, infuse their poison into a spot previously unprovided with that sovereign antidote of a sense of uncapitulatable security, which is only the possession of the furthest advanced and profoundest souls.

The man Dante Alighieri faced unforgivable insults and affronts from the world; and the poet Dante Alighieri left his immortal curse on it in the sublime malediction of the Inferno. The fiery words that cost him the comforts of this world found their malicious counterpart in that muse of fire, which would forever block most of humanity from any comfort in the worlds to come. Fortunately for those casually enjoying literature, the terrible allegorical meanings of the Inferno aren’t obvious; but unfortunately for the earnest and young seekers of truth and reality, those terrible meanings, when first uncovered, inject their poison into a place lacking the powerful antidote of an unyielding sense of security, which only the most advanced and profound souls possess.

Judge ye, then, ye Judicious, the mood of Pierre, so far as the passage in Dante touched him.

Judge for yourself, then, wise ones, how Pierre felt, based on how the passage in Dante affected him.

If among the deeper significances of its pervading indefiniteness, which significances are wisely hidden from all but the rarest adepts, the pregnant tragedy of Hamlet convey any one particular moral at all fitted to the ordinary uses of man, it is this:—that all meditation is worthless, unless it prompt to action; that it is not for man to stand shilly-shallying amid the conflicting invasions of surrounding impulses; that in the earliest instant of conviction, the roused man must strike, and, if possible, with the precision and the force of the lightning-bolt.

If there's a deeper meaning in its confusing ambiguity, a meaning that is only understood by the few truly wise, the powerful tragedy of Hamlet teaches us one key lesson: all contemplation is pointless unless it leads to action; it's not for a person to hesitate amidst the conflicting pressures of outside influences; in the moment of realization, a motivated person must act decisively and, if possible, with the speed and power of a lightning strike.

Pierre had always been an admiring reader of Hamlet; but neither his age nor his mental experience thus far, had qualified him either to catch initiating glimpses into the hopeless gloom of its interior meaning, or to draw from the general story those superficial and purely incidental lessons, wherein the painstaking moralist so complacently expatiates.

Pierre had always been a fan of Hamlet, but neither his age nor his experiences so far had equipped him to understand the deep, hopeless meaning behind it, nor to take away the basic, superficial lessons from the story that the dedicated moralists tend to go on about.

The intensest light of reason and revelation combined, can not shed such blazonings upon the deeper truths in man, as will sometimes proceed from his own profoundest gloom. Utter darkness is then his light, and cat-like he distinctly sees all objects through a medium which is mere blindness to common vision. Wherefore have Gloom and Grief been celebrated of old as the selectest chamberlains to knowledge? Wherefore is it, that not to know Gloom and Grief is not to know aught that an heroic man should learn?

The strongest combination of reason and revelation can't reveal the deeper truths within a person as intensely as those truths can emerge from his own profound sadness. In total darkness, he finds his light, and like a cat, he can see everything clearly through a lens that seems like total blindness to ordinary sight. That's why Gloom and Grief have long been recognized as the best paths to knowledge. Why is it that not experiencing Gloom and Grief means missing out on what any heroic person should understand?

By the light of that gloom, Pierre now turned over the soul of Hamlet in his hand. He knew not—at least, felt not—then, that Hamlet, though a thing of life, was, after all, but a thing of breath, evoked by the wanton magic of a creative hand, and as wantonly dismissed at last into endless halls of hell and night.

By the dim light, Pierre now held the essence of Hamlet in his hand. He didn’t know—at least, didn’t feel—at that moment that Hamlet, although alive, was ultimately just a creation of breath, conjured up by the playful magic of a creator’s hand, and just as easily sent away into the endless darkness of hell.

It is the not impartially bestowed privilege of the more final insights, that at the same moment they reveal the depths, they do, sometimes, also reveal—though by no means so distinctly—some answering heights. But when only midway down the gulf, its crags wholly conceal the upper vaults, and the wanderer thinks it all one gulf of downward dark.

It is not an equally given privilege of the deeper insights that, at the same time they show the depths, they sometimes also reveal—though not as clearly—some corresponding heights. However, when someone is only halfway down the abyss, its cliffs completely hide the upper spaces, and the traveler perceives it all as one dark descent.

Judge ye, then, ye Judicious, the mood of Pierre, so far as the passage in Hamlet touched him.

Judge for yourselves, then, wise ones, how Pierre felt, based on the passage in Hamlet that affected him.


IV.

TORN into a hundred shreds the printed pages of Hell and Hamlet lay at his feet, which trampled them, while their vacant covers mocked him with their idle titles. Dante had made him fierce, and Hamlet had insinuated that there was none to strike. Dante had taught him that he had bitter cause of quarrel; Hamlet taunted him with faltering in the fight. Now he began to curse anew his fate, for now he began to see that after all he had been finely juggling with himself, and postponing with himself, and in meditative sentimentalities wasting the moments consecrated to instant action.

TORN into a hundred pieces, the printed pages of Hell and Hamlet lay at his feet, which he trampled on, while their empty covers mocked him with their useless titles. Dante had made him fierce, and Hamlet had suggested that there was no one to fight. Dante had taught him that he had strong reasons to be angry; Hamlet teased him for hesitating in the battle. Now he started to curse his fate again, because he began to realize that all along he had been playing tricks on himself, putting things off, and wasting moments meant for immediate action in deep, sentimental thoughts.

Eight-and-forty hours and more had passed. Was Isabel acknowledged? Had she yet hung on his public arm? Who knew yet of Isabel but Pierre? Like a skulking coward he had gone prowling in the woods by day, and like a skulking coward he had stolen to her haunt by night! Like a thief he had sat and stammered and turned pale before his mother, and in the cause of Holy Right, permitted a woman to grow tall and hector over him! Ah! Easy for man to think like a hero; but hard for man to act like one. All imaginable audacities readily enter into the soul; few come boldly forth from it.

Forty-eight hours and more had gone by. Was Isabel recognized? Had she already been proudly shown off by him in public? Who knew about Isabel besides Pierre? Like a sneaky coward, he had been wandering in the woods during the day, and like a sneaky coward, he had crept to her spot at night! Like a thief, he had sat there stuttering and turning pale in front of his mother, and for the sake of Holy Right, allowed a woman to grow strong and dominate him! Ah! It's easy for a man to think like a hero; but it's hard for him to act like one. All kinds of daring thoughts can fill a person's mind; few actually come out boldly.

Did he, or did he not vitally mean to do this thing? Was the immense stuff to do it his, or was it not his? Why defer? Why put off? What was there to be gained by deferring and putting off? His resolution had been taken, why was it not executed? What more was there to learn? What more which was essential to the public acknowledgment of Isabel, had remained to be learned, after his first glance at her first letter? Had doubts of her identity come over him to stay him?—None at all. Against the wall of the thick darkness of the mystery of Isabel, recorded as by some phosphoric finger was the burning fact, that Isabel was his sister. Why then? How then? Whence then this utter nothing of his acts? Did he stagger at the thought, that at the first announcement to his mother concerning Isabel, and his resolution to own her boldly and lovingly, his proud mother, spurning the reflection on his father, would likewise spurn Pierre and Isabel, and denounce both him and her, and hate them both alike, as unnatural accomplices against the good name of the purest of husbands and parents? Not at all. Such a thought was not in him. For had he not already resolved, that his mother should know nothing of the fact of Isabel?—But how now? What then? How was Isabel to be acknowledged to the world, if his mother was to know nothing of that acknowledgment?—Short-sighted, miserable palterer and huckster, thou hast been playing a most fond and foolish game with thyself! Fool and coward! Coward and fool! Tear thyself open, and read there the confounding story of thy blind dotishness! Thy two grand resolutions—the public acknowledgment of Isabel, and the charitable withholding of her existence from thy own mother,—these are impossible adjuncts.—Likewise, thy so magnanimous purpose to screen thy father’s honorable memory from reproach, and thy other intention, the open vindication of thy fraternalness to Isabel,—these also are impossible adjuncts. And the having individually entertained four such resolves, without perceiving that once brought together, they all mutually expire; this, this ineffable folly, Pierre, brands thee in the forehead for an unaccountable infatuate!

Did he really mean to do this or not? Was he the one to do the immense task, or wasn't he? Why delay? Why put it off? What was there to gain by delaying and putting it off? His decision had been made, so why was it not carried out? What more was there to learn? What else essential to publicly acknowledging Isabel could there be that he hadn't already understood after just one look at her first letter? Did doubts about her identity stop him?—Not at all. Against the solid wall of the dark mystery surrounding Isabel, the undeniable fact that Isabel was his sister was clearly written, like something marked by a glowing finger. So why? How? Where did this complete inaction come from? Did he hesitate at the thought that when he first told his mother about Isabel and his decision to embrace her openly and lovingly, his proud mother, rejecting any reflection on his father, would also reject Pierre and Isabel, denouncing both him and her and hating them as unnatural partners against the reputation of the purest husband and parent? Not at all. He didn’t even consider that. Because hadn’t he already decided that his mother would know nothing about Isabel?—But wait. Then what? How was Isabel supposed to be acknowledged to the world if his mother was to know nothing about that acknowledgment?—Short-sighted, miserable trickster, you’ve been playing a foolish game with yourself! Fool and coward! Coward and fool! Open yourself up and read the confusing story of your blind stupidity! Your two major resolutions—the public acknowledgment of Isabel and the decision to hide her existence from your mother—these are impossible to achieve together. Likewise, your noble intention to protect your father’s honorable memory from disgrace and your other intention to openly show your brotherly love for Isabel—these too are impossible to combine. And holding all four of these separate plans without realizing that once you try to combine them, they all cancel each other out; this, this unfathomable foolishness, Pierre, marks you as an inexplicable fool!

Well may’st thou distrust thyself, and curse thyself, and tear thy Hamlet and thy Hell! Oh! fool, blind fool, and a million times an ass! Go, go, thou poor and feeble one! High deeds are not for such blind grubs as thou! Quit Isabel, and go to Lucy! Beg humble pardon of thy mother, and hereafter be a more obedient and good boy to her, Pierre—Pierre, Pierre,—infatuate!

Well might you doubt yourself, and curse yourself, and tear apart your Hamlet and your Hell! Oh! Fool, blind fool, and a million times a fool! Go, go, you poor and weak one! Great deeds are not meant for such blind insects like you! Leave Isabel, and go to Lucy! Humbly ask for your mother’s forgiveness, and from now on, be a more obedient and good son to her, Pierre—Pierre, Pierre—foolish one!

Impossible would it be now to tell all the confusion and confoundings in the soul of Pierre, so soon as the above absurdities in his mind presented themselves first to his combining consciousness. He would fain have disowned the very memory and the mind which produced to him such an immense scandal upon his common sanity. Now indeed did all the fiery floods in the Inferno, and all the rolling gloom in Hamlet suffocate him at once in flame and smoke. The cheeks of his soul collapsed in him: he dashed himself in blind fury and swift madness against the wall, and fell dabbling in the vomit of his loathed identity.

It would be impossible now to describe all the chaos and confusion in Pierre's mind as the absurd thoughts first appeared to him. He desperately wanted to reject the very memory and the thoughts that created such a huge scandal against his sense of sanity. At that moment, all the fiery turmoil of Hell and the deep darkness of Hamlet overwhelmed him with both fire and smoke. His soul felt like it was caving in: he slammed himself in a blind rage against the wall and collapsed, wallowing in the disgust of his own identity.

BOOK X.
THE UNPRECEDENTED FINAL RESOLUTION OF PIERRE.

I.

GLORIFIED be his gracious memory who first said, The deepest gloom precedes the day. We care not whether the saying will prove true to the utmost bounds of things; sufficient that it sometimes does hold true within the bounds of earthly finitude.

GLORIFIED be his gracious memory who first said, The deepest gloom precedes the day. We don’t care if the saying proves true to the very end; it’s enough that it sometimes holds true in our limited earthly existence.

Next morning Pierre rose from the floor of his chamber, haggard and tattered in body from his past night’s utter misery, but stoically serene and symmetrical in soul, with the foretaste of what then seemed to him a planned and perfect Future. Now he thinks he knows that the wholly unanticipated storm which had so terribly burst upon him, had yet burst upon him for his good; for the place, which in its undetected incipiency, the storm had obscurely occupied in his soul, seemed now clear sky to him; and all his horizon seemed distinctly commanded by him.

The next morning, Pierre got up from the floor of his room, worn out and ragged from the previous night’s misery, but with a stoic calmness and balance in his spirit, sensing what he thought was a planned and perfect future. Now he believes that the completely unexpected storm that had struck him so fiercely had actually come for his benefit; the space that the storm had quietly taken up in his soul now felt like a clear sky to him, and he could see that he had a clear command over his horizon.

His resolution was a strange and extraordinary one; but therefore it only the better met a strange and extraordinary emergency. But it was not only strange and extraordinary in its novelty of mere aspect, but it was wonderful in its unequaled renunciation of himself.

His decision was unusual and remarkable; however, that only made it more suitable for a peculiar and extraordinary situation. But it wasn't just strange and extraordinary because of its unique appearance; it was also impressive in its unmatched selflessness.

From the first, determined at all hazards to hold his father’s fair fame inviolate from any thing he should do in reference to protecting Isabel, and extending to her a brother’s utmost devotedness and love; and equally determined not to shake his mother’s lasting peace by any useless exposure of unwelcome facts; and yet vowed in his deepest soul some way to embrace Isabel before the world, and yield to her his constant consolation and companionship; and finding no possible mode of unitedly compassing all these ends, without a most singular act of pious imposture, which he thought all heaven would justify in him, since he himself was to be the grand self-renouncing victim; therefore, this was his settled and immovable purpose now; namely: to assume before the world, that by secret rites, Pierre Glendinning was already become the husband of Isabel Banford—an assumption which would entirely warrant his dwelling in her continual company, and upon equal terms, taking her wherever the world admitted him; and at the same time foreclose all sinister inquisitions bearing upon his deceased parent’s memory, or any way affecting his mother’s lasting peace, as indissolubly linked with that. True, he in embryo, foreknew, that the extraordinary thing he had resolved, would, in another way, indirectly though inevitably, dart a most keen pang into his mother’s heart; but this then seemed to him part of the unavoidable vast price of his enthusiastic virtue; and, thus minded, rather would he privately pain his living mother with a wound that might be curable, than cast world-wide and irremediable dishonor—so it seemed to him—upon his departed father.

From the start, he was determined to protect his father’s good name at all costs, while also showing Isabel the love and devotion of a brother. He was equally determined not to disrupt his mother’s lasting peace by revealing any uncomfortable truths. Still, deep down, he vowed to find a way to embrace Isabel publicly and offer her his constant support and companionship. Since he saw no way to achieve all these goals without resorting to a somewhat pious deception—which he believed heaven would approve of, as he would be the one sacrificing himself—this became his unwavering intention: to present to the world that through secret rituals, Pierre Glendinning had already become the husband of Isabel Banford. This claim would allow him to spend time with her openly, taking her wherever he was welcomed, while simultaneously preventing any unwanted inquiries that could tarnish his late father’s memory or disturb his mother’s peace, which was closely tied to that. He knew that this extraordinary decision would, in some way, inevitably cause his mother pain, but to him, it seemed like an unavoidable cost of his passionate integrity. Therefore, he would rather cause his living mother a wound that might heal than bring lasting disgrace upon his departed father.

Probably no other being than Isabel could have produced upon Pierre impressions powerful enough to eventuate in a final resolution so unparalleled as the above. But the wonderful melodiousness of her grief had touched the secret monochord within his breast, by an apparent magic, precisely similar to that which had moved the stringed tongue of her guitar to respond to the heart-strings of her own melancholy plaints. The deep voice of the being of Isabel called to him from out the immense distances of sky and air, and there seemed no veto of the earth that could forbid her heavenly claim.

Probably no one else but Isabel could have made such a strong impression on Pierre, leading to such an unprecedented final decision. But the beautiful quality of her sadness had reached the hidden part of his heart, almost magically, just like how the strings of her guitar echoed her own sorrowful songs. The deep voice of Isabel seemed to call out to him from the vastness of the sky and air, and it felt like there was no power on Earth that could deny her ethereal pull.

During the three days that he had personally known her, and so been brought into magnetic contact with her, other persuasions and potencies than those direct ones, involved in her bewildering eyes and marvelous story, had unconsciously left their ineffaceable impressions on him, and perhaps without his privity, had mainly contributed to his resolve. She had impressed him as the glorious child of Pride and Grief, in whose countenance were traceable the divinest lineaments of both her parents. Pride gave to her her nameless nobleness; Grief touched that nobleness with an angelical softness; and again that softness was steeped in a most charitable humility, which was the foundation of her loftiest excellence of all.

In the three days he had known her, and felt a strong connection with her, other influences beyond her mesmerizing eyes and incredible story had unknowingly left a lasting impact on him. These forces may have contributed to his decision without him even realizing it. He saw her as a beautiful blend of Pride and Grief, with features that clearly reflected the best qualities of both her parents. Pride gave her an indescribable nobility; Grief softened that nobility with an angelic tenderness; and that tenderness was deeply rooted in a profound humility, which was the basis of her greatest qualities.

Neither by word or letter had Isabel betrayed any spark of those more common emotions and desires which might not unreasonably be ascribed to an ordinary person placed in circumstances like hers. Though almost penniless, she had not invoked the pecuniary bounty of Pierre; and though she was altogether silent on that subject, yet Pierre could not but be strangely sensible of something in her which disdained to voluntarily hang upon the mere bounty even of a brother. Nor, though she by various nameless ways, manifested her consciousness of being surrounded by uncongenial and inferior beings, while yet descended from a generous stock, and personally meriting the most refined companionships which the wide world could yield; nevertheless, she had not demanded of Pierre that he should array her in brocade, and lead her forth among the rare and opulent ladies of the land. But while thus evincing her intuitive, true lady-likeness and nobleness by this entire freedom from all sordid motives, neither had she merged all her feelings in any sickly sentimentalities of sisterly affection toward her so suddenly discovered brother; which, in the case of a naturally unattractive woman in her circumstances, would not have been altogether alluring to Pierre. No. That intense and indescribable longing, which her letter by its very incoherencies had best embodied, proceeded from no base, vain, or ordinary motive whatever; but was the unsuppressible and unmistakable cry of the godhead through her soul, commanding Pierre to fly to her, and do his highest and most glorious duty in the world.

Neither in her words nor in her letters had Isabel shown any sign of the more typical emotions and desires that one might reasonably expect from an ordinary person in her situation. Although she was nearly broke, she hadn’t turned to Pierre for financial help; and while she didn’t bring it up directly, Pierre felt a strange awareness of something in her that rejected relying on the mere generosity of a brother. Moreover, even though she subtly expressed her awareness of being surrounded by unrefined and lesser company, despite being from a noble lineage and deserving of the finest companionship the world could offer, she didn’t ask Pierre to dress her in lavish fabrics and present her among the elegant ladies of the land. While she showcased her innate grace and nobility by being completely free from any selfish motives, she also didn’t drown her feelings in any sickly sentimental notions of sisterly love for her brother, who she had just discovered; which, coming from an inherently unattractive woman in her position, wouldn't have been very appealing to Pierre. No. That deep and indescribable yearning, which her letter encapsulated in its very disarray, arose from no base, vain, or ordinary desire whatsoever, but was the uncontrollable and unmistakable call of her innermost self, urging Pierre to come to her and fulfill his highest and most glorious duty in the world.

Nor now, as it changedly seemed to Pierre, did that duty consist in stubbornly flying in the marble face of the Past, and striving to reverse the decree which had pronounced that Isabel could never perfectly inherit all the privileges of a legitimate child of her father. And thoroughly now he felt, that even as this would in the present case be both preposterous in itself and cruel in effect to both the living and the dead, so was it entirely undesired by Isabel, who though once yielding to a momentary burst of aggressive enthusiasm, yet in her more wonted mood of mournfulness and sweetness, evinced no such lawless wandering. Thoroughly, now he felt, that Isabel was content to live obscure in her paternal identity, so long as she could any way appease her deep longings for the constant love and sympathy and close domestic contact of some one of her blood. So that Pierre had no slightest misgiving that upon learning the character of his scheme, she would deem it to come short of her natural expectations; while so far as its apparent strangeness was concerned,—a strangeness, perhaps invincible to squeamish and humdrum women—here Pierre anticipated no obstacle in Isabel; for her whole past was strange, and strangeness seemed best befitting to her future.

Nor did Pierre now believe that his duty meant stubbornly opposing the unforgiving nature of the past or trying to change the decision that stated Isabel could never fully inherit all the rights of a legitimate child of her father. He felt it would be both absurd and cruel to both the living and the dead, and he realized it was something Isabel didn’t want either. Although she had briefly shown a burst of defiant enthusiasm, in her usual state of sadness and gentleness, she displayed no such reckless desire. He felt certain that Isabel was okay with living quietly with her paternal identity, as long as she could find some way to satisfy her deep yearning for the constant love, support, and close connection of someone from her own bloodline. Pierre had no doubt that once she understood his plan, she would find it lacking in meeting her natural expectations. As for its apparent oddity—something that might be off-putting to more conventional women—Pierre didn’t expect Isabel to have any issues with it; after all, her whole past was unusual, and strangeness seemed perfectly suited for her future.

But had Pierre now reread the opening paragraph of her letter to him, he might have very quickly derived a powerful anticipative objection from his sister, which his own complete disinterestedness concealed from him. Though Pierre had every reason to believe that—owing to her secluded and humble life—Isabel was in entire ignorance of the fact of his precise relation to Lucy Tartan:—an ignorance, whose first indirect and unconscious manifestation in Isabel, had been unspeakably welcome to him;—and though, of course, he had both wisely and benevolently abstained from enlightening her on that point; still, notwithstanding this, was it possible that any true-hearted noble girl like Isabel, would, to benefit herself, willingly become a participator in an act, which would prospectively and forever bar the blessed boon of marriageable love from one so young and generous as Pierre, and eternally entangle him in a fictitious alliance, which, though in reality but a web of air, yet in effect would prove a wall of iron; for the same powerful motive which induced the thought of forming such an alliance, would always thereafter forbid that tacit exposure of its fictitiousness, which would be consequent upon its public discontinuance, and the real nuptials of Pierre with any other being during the lifetime of Isabel.

But if Pierre had reread the opening paragraph of her letter to him, he might have quickly recognized a strong objection from his sister, which his own complete lack of self-interest hid from him. Although Pierre had every reason to believe that—due to her secluded and modest life—Isabel was completely unaware of his exact relationship with Lucy Tartan:—an ignorance that first manifested indirectly and unconsciously in Isabel, which was incredibly welcome to him;—and although he had wisely and kindly chosen not to clarify that point for her; still, could it really be that any kind-hearted, noble girl like Isabel would, to benefit herself, willingly become part of an act that would permanently and forever deny the wonderful gift of marriageable love to someone as young and generous as Pierre, and forever trap him in a fake alliance, which, although it was really just a web of air, would effectively act as an iron wall? Because the same strong reason that made him consider such an alliance would always afterwards prevent any honest acknowledgment of its falseness, which would follow from its public cancellation, and Pierre's real marriage to anyone else while Isabel was still alive.

But according to what view you take of it, it is either the gracious or the malicious gift of the great gods to man, that on the threshold of any wholly new and momentous devoted enterprise, the thousand ulterior intricacies and emperilings to which it must conduct; these, at the outset, are mostly withheld from sight; and so, through her ever-primeval wilderness Fortune’s Knight rides on, alike ignorant of the palaces or the pitfalls in its heart. Surprising, and past all ordinary belief, are those strange oversights and inconsistencies, into which the enthusiastic meditation upon unique or extreme resolves will sometimes beget in young and over-ardent souls. That all-comprehending oneness, that calm representativeness, by which a steady philosophic mind reaches forth and draws to itself, in their collective entirety, the objects of its contemplations; that pertains not to the young enthusiast. By his eagerness, all objects are deceptively foreshortened; by his intensity each object is viewed as detached; so that essentially and relatively every thing is misseen by him. Already have we exposed that passing preposterousness in Pierre, which by reason of the above-named cause which we have endeavored to portray, induced him to cherish for a time four unitedly impossible designs. And now we behold this hapless youth all eager to involve himself in such an inextricable twist of Fate, that the three dextrous maids themselves could hardly disentangle him, if once he tie the complicating knots about him and Isabel.

But depending on how you look at it, it's either a kind or a cruel gift from the great gods to humanity that at the beginning of any entirely new and significant venture, all the countless complexities and dangers it might lead to are mostly hidden from view. And so, through her ancient wilderness, Fortune’s Knight moves forward, just as unaware of the treasures or traps within it. It's surprising and unbelievable how these strange oversights and inconsistencies can occur when young and overly passionate individuals fervently reflect on unique or extreme decisions. That all-encompassing perspective, that calm ability to represent things, through which a steady philosophical mind reaches out and gathers together the objects of its contemplation—this does not apply to the eager young enthusiast. In his eagerness, all objects appear distorted; due to his intensity, each object seems isolated; so, in both an essential and relative sense, everything is misperceived by him. We have already shown that ridiculousness in Pierre, which, because of the previously mentioned reason we’ve tried to describe, led him to entertain for a time four mutually impossible plans. And now we see this unfortunate youth all eager to get caught in such a tangled twist of Fate that even the three skilled women would hardly be able to untangle him if he once ties the complicated knots around himself and Isabel.

Ah, thou rash boy! are there no couriers in the air to warn thee away from these emperilings, and point thee to those Cretan labyrinths, to which thy life’s cord is leading thee? Where now are the high beneficences? Whither fled the sweet angels that are alledged guardians to man?

Ah, you reckless boy! Are there no messengers in the air to warn you away from these dangers and guide you to those Cretan labyrinths to which your life's path is leading you? Where are the great blessings now? Where have the sweet angels, said to protect humanity, gone?

Not that the impulsive Pierre wholly overlooked all that was menacing to him in his future, if now he acted out his most rare resolve; but eagerly foreshortened by him, they assumed not their full magnitude of menacing; nor, indeed,—so riveted now his purpose—were they pushed up to his face, would he for that renounce his self-renunciation; while concerning all things more immediately contingent upon his central resolution; these were, doubtless, in a measure, foreseen and understood by him. Perfectly, at least, he seemed to foresee and understand, that the present hope of Lucy Tartan must be banished from his being; that this would carry a terrible pang to her, which in the natural recoil would but redouble his own; that to the world all his heroicness, standing equally unexplained and unsuspected, therefore the world would denounce him as infamously false to his betrothed; reckless of the most binding human vows; a secret wooer and wedder of an unknown and enigmatic girl; a spurner of all a loving mother’s wisest counselings; a bringer down of lasting reproach upon an honorable name; a besotted self-exile from a most prosperous house and bounteous fortune; and lastly, that now his whole life would, in the eyes of the wide humanity, be covered with an all-pervading haze of incurable sinisterness, possibly not to be removed even in the concluding hour of death.

Not that the impulsive Pierre completely ignored the dangers his future held, even with his rare determination; but in his eagerness, he downplayed their true severity. And indeed, since his resolve was now so firm, he wouldn't let those threats deter him, nor would he give up his decision. Regarding everything closely linked to his main choice, he had, to some extent, anticipated and understood them. At the very least, he clearly recognized that he had to let go of the hope for Lucy Tartan; this would cause her immense pain, which would only amplify his own in return. To the world, all his heroism would be left unexplained and unnoticed, so people would condemn him as shamefully unfaithful to his fiancée, disregarding the most solemn human commitments; a secret suitor and husband to an unknown and mysterious girl; a rejector of all his loving mother's wise advice; bringing lasting disgrace to a respectable name; a foolish self-exile from a prosperous home and abundant fortune; and finally, that his entire life would appear, to the wider world, shrouded in an all-encompassing haze of irremediable wickedness, possibly not to be lifted even in his final moments.

Such, oh thou son of man! are the perils and the miseries thou callest down on thee, when, even in a virtuous cause, thou steppest aside from those arbitrary lines of conduct, by which the common world, however base and dastardly, surrounds thee for thy worldly good.

Such, oh son of man! are the dangers and the hardships you bring upon yourself when, even for a good cause, you step outside the arbitrary rules of behavior that the common world, no matter how low and cowardly, has set to ensure your worldly success.

Ofttimes it is very wonderful to trace the rarest and profoundest things, and find their probable origin in something extremely trite or trivial. Yet so strange and complicate is the human soul; so much is confusedly evolved from out itself, and such vast and varied accessions come to it from abroad, and so impossible is it always to distinguish between these two, that the wisest man were rash, positively to assign the precise and incipient origination of his final thoughts and acts. Far as we blind moles can see, man’s life seems but an acting upon mysterious hints; it is somehow hinted to us, to do thus or thus. For surely no mere mortal who has at all gone down into himself will ever pretend that his slightest thought or act solely originates in his own defined identity. This preamble seems not entirely unnecessary as usher of the strange conceit, that possibly the latent germ of Pierre’s proposed extraordinary mode of executing his proposed extraordinary resolve—namely, the nominal conversion of a sister into a wife—might have been found in the previous conversational conversion of a mother into a sister; for hereby he had habituated his voice and manner to a certain fictitiousness in one of the closest domestic relations of life; and since man’s moral texture is very porous, and things assumed upon the surface, at last strike in—hence, this outward habituation to the above-named fictitiousness had insensibly disposed his mind to it as it were; but only innocently and pleasantly as yet. If, by any possibility, this general conceit be so, then to Pierre the times of sportfulness were as pregnant with the hours of earnestness; and in sport he learnt the terms of woe.

Often, it's quite amazing to trace the rarest and deepest things back to their likely origins in something very common or trivial. Yet, the human soul is so strange and complicated; so much of it emerges from within, and it receives vast and varied influences from the outside. It's nearly impossible to always tell these two apart, making it reckless for even the wisest person to pinpoint exactly where his final thoughts and actions begin. From what we can see, life seems like acting on mysterious hints; we somehow feel nudged to do this or that. Surely, no one who has truly examined themselves would claim that even their smallest thought or action comes solely from their defined identity. This introduction seems necessary to lead into the strange idea that perhaps the underlying seed of Pierre's unusual plan to turn his sister into his wife might have originated from previously referring to his mother as his sister; this may have conditioned his voice and manner to a certain fictional quality in one of the closest relationships in life. Since human morality is quite porous and surface assumptions eventually penetrate deeper, this external adaptation to the mentioned fictional quality may have subtly prepared his mind for it, but only in an innocent and pleasant way for now. If, by any chance, this general idea holds true, then for Pierre, moments of playfulness were just as significant as moments of seriousness; through play, he learned the language of sorrow.


II.

IF next to that resolve concerning his lasting fraternal succor to Isabel, there was at this present time any determination in Pierre absolutely inflexible, and partaking at once of the sacredness and the indissolubleness of the most solemn oath, it was the enthusiastic, and apparently wholly supererogatory resolution to hold his father’s memory untouched; nor to one single being in the world reveal the paternity of Isabel. Unrecallably dead and gone from out the living world, again returned to utter helplessness, so far as this world went; his perished father seemed to appeal to the dutifulness and mercifulness of Pierre, in terms far more moving than though the accents proceeded from his mortal mouth. And what though not through the sin of Pierre, but through his father’s sin, that father’s fair fame now lay at the mercy of the son, and could only be kept inviolate by the son’s free sacrifice of all earthly felicity;—what if this were so? It but struck a still loftier chord in the bosom of the son, and filled him with infinite magnanimities. Never had the generous Pierre cherished the heathenish conceit, that even in the general world, Sin is a fair object to be stretched on the cruelest racks by self-complacent Virtue, that self-complacent Virtue may feed her lily-liveredness on the pallor of Sin’s anguish. For perfect Virtue does not more loudly claim our approbation, than repented Sin in its concludedness does demand our utmost tenderness and concern. And as the more immense the Virtue, so should be the more immense our approbation; likewise the more immense the Sin, the more infinite our pity. In some sort, Sin hath its sacredness, not less than holiness. And great Sin calls forth more magnanimity than small Virtue. What man, who is a man, does not feel livelier and more generous emotions toward the great god of Sin—Satan,—than toward yonder haberdasher, who only is a sinner in the small and entirely honorable way of trade?

IF next to that commitment to always support Isabel, there was at this moment a determination in Pierre that was completely unwavering, sharing the sacredness and unbreakable nature of the most serious vow, it was the passionate, and seemingly unnecessary decision to keep his father's memory intact; and to reveal the paternity of Isabel to no one in the world. Irrevocably gone from the living world, having returned to utter helplessness as far as this world was concerned; his deceased father seemed to appeal to Pierre’s sense of duty and compassion, in a way that was far more touching than if those words came from his living mouth. And even though it was not due to Pierre’s wrongdoing, but because of his father's wrongdoing, that father's good name now depended on the son, and could only be preserved by the son’s willing sacrifice of all earthly happiness;—so what if this was the case? It only struck an even higher chord in Pierre's heart, filling him with immense generosity. Never had the noble Pierre thought that in the broader world, Sin is a worthy target to be brutally punished by self-righteous Virtue, so that self-righteous Virtue could nourish its cowardice on the suffering of Sin. For true Virtue does not deserve our approval more loudly than repented Sin does deserve our deepest compassion and care. And just as the greater the Virtue, the more deserving it is of our approval; likewise, the greater the Sin, the more boundless our pity should be. In some way, Sin has its own sacredness, just like holiness. And great Sin demands more generosity than small Virtue. What man, who is truly a man, doesn't feel stronger and more generous emotions towards the great god of Sin—Satan—than towards that shopkeeper, , who is only a sinner in the minor and entirely respectable way of trade?

Though Pierre profoundly shuddered at that impenetrable yet blackly significant nebulousness, which the wild story of Isabel threw around the early life of his father; yet as he recalled the dumb anguish of the invocation of the empty and the ashy hand uplifted from his father’s death-bed, he most keenly felt that of whatsoever unknown shade his father’s guilt might be, yet in the final hour of death it had been most dismally repented of; by a repentance only the more full of utter wretchedness, that it was a consuming secret in him. Mince the matter how his family would, had not his father died a raver? Whence that raving, following so prosperous a life? Whence, but from the cruelest compunctions?

Though Pierre deeply shuddered at the confusing yet darkly meaningful murkiness surrounding the wild story of Isabel and his father's early life, he couldn’t help but remember the silent pain of his father’s deathbed invocation, with that empty, ashy hand raised. He felt acutely that regardless of the unknown depths of his father’s guilt, it had been profoundly regretted in that final hour. The regret was even more wretched because it was a consuming secret within him. No matter how his family tried to soften the truth, hadn’t his father died as a madman? What caused that madness, after such a successful life? It could only come from the harshest remorse.

Touched thus, and strung in all his sinews and his nerves to the holding of his father’s memory intact,—Pierre turned his confronting and unfrightened face toward Lucy Tartan, and stilly vowed that not even she should know the whole; no, not know the least.

Touched like this, with every fiber of his being tied to holding onto his father’s memory,—Pierre turned his calm and unafraid face toward Lucy Tartan and silently promised that not even she would know everything; no, not even a little bit.

There is an inevitable keen cruelty in the loftier heroism. It is not heroism only to stand unflinched ourselves in the hour of suffering; but it is heroism to stand unflinched both at our own and at some loved one’s united suffering; a united suffering, which we could put an instant period to, if we would but renounce the glorious cause for which ourselves do bleed, and see our most loved one bleed. If he would not reveal his father’s shame to the common world, whose favorable opinion for himself, Pierre now despised; how then reveal it to the woman he adored? To her, above all others, would he now uncover his father’s tomb, and bid her behold from what vile attaintings he himself had sprung? So Pierre turned round and tied Lucy to the same stake which must hold himself, for he too plainly saw, that it could not be, but that both their hearts must burn.

There’s a certain sharp cruelty in greater heroism. It’s not just heroism to face our own suffering without flinching; it’s heroism to face the combined suffering of ourselves and someone we love without flinching. This shared suffering could be instantly ended if we chose to give up the noble cause for which we are enduring pain, even if it meant watching someone dear to us suffer. If he wouldn’t expose his father’s shame to the public, whose approval Pierre now scorned, how could he possibly reveal it to the woman he loved? He would especially not want to show her the darkness from which he had come. So Pierre turned and tied Lucy to the same stake that would hold him, because he clearly saw that both of their hearts would inevitably be set ablaze.

Yes, his resolve concerning his father’s memory involved the necessity of assuming even to Lucy his marriage with Isabel. Here he could not explain himself, even to her. This would aggravate the sharp pang of parting, by self-suggested, though wholly groundless surmising in Lucy’s mind, in the most miserable degree contaminating to her idea of him. But on this point, he still fondly trusted that without at all marring his filial bond, he would be enabled by some significant intimations to arrest in Lucy’s mind those darker imaginings which might find entrance there; and if he could not set her wholly right, yet prevent her from going wildly wrong.

Yes, his determination regarding his father’s memory involved the necessity of even pretending to Lucy that he was married to Isabel. Here, he couldn't explain himself, not even to her. This would worsen the sharp pain of leaving, as it would lead Lucy to create unfounded and self-inflicted suspicions about him, which would severely taint her perception of him. However, in this matter, he still hoped that without damaging his bond as a son, he could communicate some significant hints to prevent Lucy from entertaining those darker thoughts that might creep in; and even if he couldn’t completely clarify things for her, he aimed to stop her from going completely astray.

For his mother Pierre was more prepared. He considered that by an inscrutable decree, which it was but foolishness to try to evade, or shun, or deny existence to, since he felt it so profoundly pressing on his inmost soul; the family of the Glendinnings was imperiously called upon to offer up a victim to the gods of woe; one grand victim at the least; and that grand victim must be his mother, or himself. If he disclosed his secret to the world, then his mother was made the victim; if at all hazards he kept it to himself, then himself would be the victim. A victim as respecting his mother, because under the peculiar circumstances of the case, the non-disclosure of the secret involved her entire and infamy-engendering misconception of himself. But to this he bowed submissive.

For his mother, Pierre was more prepared. He thought that due to an unfathomable decree, which it was pointless to try to escape, avoid, or deny, since he felt it so strongly deep within him; the Glendinning family was compelled to sacrifice a victim to the gods of sorrow; at least one significant victim; and that victim had to be either his mother or himself. If he revealed his secret to the world, then his mother would be the victim; if he kept it to himself at all costs, then he would be the victim. A victim in relation to his mother because, given the specific circumstances, not disclosing the secret would lead to her complete and reputation-destroying misunderstanding of him. But he accepted this without protest.

One other thing—and the last to be here named, because the very least in the conscious thoughts of Pierre; one other thing remained to menace him with assured disastrousness. This thing it was, which though but dimly hinted of as yet, still in the apprehension must have exerted a powerful influence upon Pierre, in preparing him for the worst.

One more thing—and the last to be mentioned here, because it was the least on Pierre's mind; one other thing still threatened him with certain disaster. This thing, although only vaguely suggested for now, must have had a strong impact on Pierre, getting him ready for the worst.

His father’s last and fatal sickness had seized him suddenly. Both the probable concealed distraction of his mind with reference to his early life as recalled to him in an evil hour, and his consequent mental wanderings; these, with other reasons, had prevented him from framing a new will to supersede one made shortly after his marriage, and ere Pierre was born. By that will which as yet had never been dragged into the courts of law; and which, in the fancied security of her own and her son’s congenial and loving future, Mrs. Glendinning had never but once, and then inconclusively, offered to discuss, with a view to a better and more appropriate ordering of things to meet circumstances non-existent at the period the testament was framed; by that will, all the Glendinning property was declared his mother’s.

His father's last illness hit him out of nowhere. The likely distraction from his thoughts about his past, which came back to him at a bad moment, and his resulting mental confusion, along with other reasons, kept him from writing a new will to replace the one he made shortly after he got married, before Pierre was born. That will had never been brought to court, and Mrs. Glendinning, feeling secure about her and her son's future, had only once, and very briefly, suggested discussing it to make better arrangements considering the circumstances that weren't present when the will was created; according to that will, all the Glendinning property was stated to belong to his mother.

Acutely sensible to those prophetic intimations in him, which painted in advance the haughty temper of his offended mother, as all bitterness and scorn toward a son, once the object of her proudest joy, but now become a deep reproach, as not only rebellious to her, but glaringly dishonorable before the world; Pierre distinctly foresaw, that as she never would have permitted Isabel Banford in her true character to cross her threshold; neither would she now permit Isabel Banford to cross her threshold in any other, and disguised character; least of all, as that unknown and insidious girl, who by some pernicious arts had lured her only son from honor into infamy. But not to admit Isabel, was now to exclude Pierre, if indeed on independent grounds of exasperation against himself, his mother would not cast him out.

Acutely aware of the hints of prophecy within him that predicted his mother’s proud and offended nature, he recognized all the bitterness and disdain directed at a son who was once her greatest pride but had now become a source of deep shame—rebellious in her eyes and glaringly dishonorable in the eyes of the world. Pierre clearly understood that since she would never have allowed Isabel Banford to enter her home as her true self, she definitely wouldn’t allow Isabel to come in under any other pretense, especially not as that unknown and deceitful girl who had, through some harmful means, drawn her only son from honor into disgrace. But to deny Isabel entry would also mean excluding Pierre himself, unless, driven by her own frustration with him, his mother decided to cast him out as well.

Nor did the same interior intimations in him which fore-painted the above bearing of his mother, abstain to trace her whole haughty heart as so unrelentingly set against him, that while she would close her doors against both him and his fictitious wife, so also she would not willingly contribute one copper to support them in a supposed union so entirely abhorrent to her. And though Pierre was not so familiar with the science of the law, as to be quite certain what the law, if appealed to concerning the provisions of his father’s will, would decree concerning any possible claims of the son to share with the mother in the property of the sire; yet he prospectively felt an invincible repugnance to dragging his dead father’s hand and seal into open Court, and fighting over them with a base mercenary motive, and with his own mother for the antagonist. For so thoroughly did his infallible presentiments paint his mother’s character to him, as operated upon and disclosed in all those fiercer traits,—hitherto held in abeyance by the mere chance and felicity of circumstances,—that he felt assured that her exasperation against him would even meet the test of a public legal contention concerning the Glendinning property. For indeed there was a reserved strength and masculineness in the character of his mother, from which on all these points Pierre had every thing to dread. Besides, will the matter how he would, Pierre for nearly two whole years to come, would still remain a minor, an infant in the eye of the law, incapable of personally asserting any legal claim; and though he might sue by his next friend, yet who would be his voluntary next friend, when the execution of his great resolve would, for him, depopulate all the world of friends?

Nor did the same inner feelings in him, which hinted at his mother’s attitude, stop him from recognizing her entire haughty heart was so firmly against him that while she would shut her doors to both him and his imaginary wife, she also wouldn't willingly contribute even a penny to support them in a union that was completely repugnant to her. Although Pierre wasn't well-versed in the law enough to be certain about what it would decide if he appealed regarding the provisions of his father’s will and any possible claims he might have to share the inheritance with his mother, he felt an overwhelming disgust at the thought of dragging his dead father’s name and signature into a public Court and fighting over them for a mercenary reason, especially against his own mother. His strong intuitions painted a vivid picture of her character, revealing all those harsher traits—previously hidden by mere chance and favorable circumstances—that assured him her anger towards him would withstand any public legal battle over the Glendinning property. Indeed, there was a deep strength and masculinity in his mother’s character that made him dread every aspect of this situation. Moreover, no matter what he decided, Pierre would remain a minor, a child in the eyes of the law, unable to assert any legal claim himself; although he could technically sue through a trusted friend, who would willingly take on that role when pursuing his great resolve would leave him alone in the world without any friends?

Now to all these things, and many more, seemed the soul of this infatuated young enthusiast braced.

Now with all these things, and many more, it seemed like the soul of this obsessed young enthusiast was energized.


III.

THERE is a dark, mad mystery in some human hearts, which, sometimes, during the tyranny of a usurper mood, leads them to be all eagerness to cast off the most intense beloved bond, as a hindrance to the attainment of whatever transcendental object that usurper mood so tyrannically suggests. Then the beloved bond seems to hold us to no essential good; lifted to exalted mounts, we can dispense with all the vale; endearments we spurn; kisses are blisters to us; and forsaking the palpitating forms of mortal love, we emptily embrace the boundless and the unbodied air. We think we are not human; we become as immortal bachelors and gods; but again, like the Greek gods themselves, prone we descend to earth; glad to be uxorious once more; glad to hide these god-like heads within the bosoms made of too-seducing clay.

There’s a dark, crazy mystery in some people's hearts that, sometimes, during an overpowering mood, makes them eager to break free from the deepest love, seeing it as a barrier to whatever higher goal that mood demands. In those moments, that beloved connection feels like it doesn’t offer any real benefit; elevated to lofty heights, we think we can do without all the struggles below; we reject affection; kisses feel painful; and turning away from the throbbing nature of human love, we emptily reach for the infinite and the formless air. We convince ourselves we are not human; we act like immortal bachelors and gods; but, like the Greek gods, we fall back to earth, happy to be affectionately tied down again; happy to hide these divine heads within the bodies made of too-tempting flesh.

Weary with the invariable earth, the restless sailor breaks from every enfolding arm, and puts to sea in height of tempest that blows off shore. But in long night-watches at the antipodes, how heavily that ocean gloom lies in vast bales upon the deck; thinking that that very moment in his deserted hamlet-home the household sun is high, and many a sun-eyed maiden meridian as the sun. He curses Fate; himself he curses; his senseless madness, which is himself. For whoso once has known this sweet knowledge, and then fled it; in absence, to him the avenging dream will come.

Tired of the same old land, the restless sailor breaks free from every familiar hold and sets out to sea in the height of a storm blowing offshore. But during long night watches at the opposite side of the world, that ocean's darkness weighs heavily on the deck; he thinks that at this very moment in his deserted hometown, the sun is shining bright, and many sun-kissed maidens are out enjoying it. He curses Fate; he curses himself; his senseless madness, which is part of him. Because whoever has experienced this sweet truth and then run away from it will find that the haunting dream will return in his absence.

Pierre was now this vulnerable god; this self-upbraiding sailor; this dreamer of the avenging dream. Though in some things he had unjuggled himself, and forced himself to eye the prospect as it was; yet, so far as Lucy was concerned, he was at bottom still a juggler. True, in his extraordinary scheme, Lucy was so intimately interwoven, that it seemed impossible for him at all to cast his future without some way having that heart’s love in view. But ignorant of its quantity as yet, or fearful of ascertaining it; like an algebraist, for the real Lucy he, in his scheming thoughts, had substituted but a sign—some empty x—and in the ultimate solution of the problem, that empty x still figured; not the real Lucy.

Pierre was now this vulnerable god; this self-critical sailor; this dreamer of the revengeful dream. Though in some ways he had unraveled himself and forced himself to see the situation as it was, when it came to Lucy, he was still at heart a trickster. True, in his extraordinary plan, Lucy was so closely connected that it seemed impossible for him to envision his future without keeping that heart's love in mind. But being unaware of its depth or afraid to find out, like a mathematician, he had replaced the real Lucy in his scheming thoughts with just a symbol—an empty x—and in the final solution of the problem, that empty x still remained; not the real Lucy.

But now, when risen from the abasement of his chamber-floor, and risen from the still profounder prostration of his soul, Pierre had thought that all the horizon of his dark fate was commanded by him; all his resolutions clearly defined, and immovably decreed; now finally, to top all, there suddenly slid into his inmost heart the living and breathing form of Lucy. His lungs collapsed; his eyeballs glared; for the sweet imagined form, so long buried alive in him, seemed now as gliding on him from the grave; and her light hair swept far adown her shroud.

But now, as he got up from the humiliation of his bedroom floor, and rose from the even deeper despair of his soul, Pierre believed that he had control over the dark fate ahead of him; all his resolutions were clearly defined and firmly set. Now, to top it all off, the living and breathing image of Lucy suddenly slipped into his heart. His lungs felt crushed; his eyes widened; for the sweet imagined form, buried deep within him for so long, seemed to be rising from the grave, and her light hair flowed down her shroud.

Then, for the time, all minor things were whelmed in him; his mother, Isabel, the whole wide world; and one only thing remained to him;—this all-including query—Lucy or God?

Then, at that moment, everything small was overwhelming to him; his mother, Isabel, the entire vast world; and only one thing remained for him—this all-encompassing question—Lucy or God?

But here we draw a vail. Some nameless struggles of the soul can not be painted, and some woes will not be told. Let the ambiguous procession of events reveal their own ambiguousness.

But here we draw a curtain. Some unnamed struggles of the soul can't be expressed, and some sorrows won't be shared. Let the unclear flow of events show their own ambiguity.

BOOK XI.
HE CROSSES THE RUBICON

I.

SUCKED within the Maelstrom, man must go round. Strike at one end the longest conceivable row of billiard balls in close contact, and the furthermost ball will start forth, while all the rest stand still; and yet that last ball was not struck at all. So, through long previous generations, whether of births or thoughts, Fate strikes the present man. Idly he disowns the blow’s effect, because he felt no blow, and indeed, received no blow. But Pierre was not arguing Fixed Fate and Free Will, now; Fixed Fate and Free Will were arguing him, and Fixed Fate got the better in the debate.

SUCKED in the Maelstrom, a person must go in circles. If you hit one end of a long line of billiard balls that are close together, the last ball will move, while all the others stay still; yet that last ball wasn’t hit directly. Similarly, throughout previous generations, whether of life or ideas, Fate influences the current individual. He might casually dismiss the impact of the force because he didn’t feel it and technically, didn’t experience any direct hit. But Pierre wasn’t debating Fixed Fate and Free Will; instead, Fixed Fate and Free Will were debating him, and Fixed Fate won the argument.

The peculiarities of those influences which on the night and early morning following the last interview with Isabel, persuaded Pierre to the adoption of his final resolve, did now irresistibly impel him to a remarkable instantaneousness in his actions, even as before he had proved a lagger.

The unique aspects of those influences that convinced Pierre to make his final decision on the night and early morning after his last meeting with Isabel now pushed him to act with remarkable immediacy, quite the opposite of how he had previously been slow to act.

Without being consciously that way pointed, through the desire of anticipating any objections on the part of Isabel to the assumption of a marriage between himself and her; Pierre was now impetuously hurried into an act, which should have the effective virtue of such an executed intention, without its corresponding motive. Because, as the primitive resolve so deplorably involved Lucy, her image was then prominent in his mind; and hence, because he felt all eagerness to hold her no longer in suspense, but by a certain sort of charity of cruelty, at once to pronounce to her her fate; therefore, it was among his first final thoughts that morning to go to Lucy. And to this, undoubtedly, so trifling a circumstance as her being nearer to him, geographically, than Isabel, must have contributed some added, though unconscious influence, in his present fateful frame of mind.

Without consciously intending it, Pierre was rushed into a decision, trying to anticipate any objections Isabel might have about his marrying her. He acted impulsively, motivated more by the act itself than by a clear reason. Because thoughts of Lucy were heavily on his mind due to the unfortunate situation that tied them together, he felt a strong urgency to end her uncertainty and, in a somewhat cruel yet kind way, to reveal her destiny. So, one of his first thoughts that morning was to go see Lucy. It’s likely that the simple fact she was closer to him, geographically, than Isabel played a subtle, unconscious role in his anxious state of mind.

On the previous undetermined days, Pierre had solicitously sought to disguise his emotions from his mother, by a certain carefulness and choiceness in his dress. But now, since his very soul was forced to wear a mask, he would wear no paltry palliatives and disguisements on his body. He went to the cottage of Lucy as disordered in his person, as haggard in his face.

On the previous uncertain days, Pierre had carefully tried to hide his feelings from his mother by being particular about his appearance. But now, since he felt he had to conceal his true self, he wouldn't resort to any cheap tricks or disguises. He arrived at Lucy's cottage looking as messy and worn out as he felt.


II.

SHE was not risen yet. So, the strange imperious instantaneousness in him, impelled him to go straight to her chamber-door, and in a voice of mild invincibleness, demand immediate audience, for the matter pressed.

SHE had not gotten up yet. So, the strange, commanding urgency within him drove him to go directly to her bedroom door, and in a calm yet firm voice, he requested to see her right away, as it was important.

Already namelessly concerned and alarmed for her lover, now eight-and-forty hours absent on some mysterious and undisclosable affair; Lucy, at this surprising summons was overwhelmed with sudden terror; and in oblivion of all ordinary proprieties, responded to Pierre’s call, by an immediate assent.

Already anxious and worried about her lover, who had been away for forty-eight hours on some mysterious and undisclosed matter; Lucy, at this unexpected request, was filled with sudden fear; and without thinking about any usual social norms, she immediately agreed to Pierre’s call.

Opening the door, he advanced slowly and deliberately toward her; and as Lucy caught his pale determined figure, she gave a cry of groping misery, which knew not the pang that caused it, and lifted herself trembling in her bed; but without uttering one word.

Opening the door, he moved slowly and purposefully toward her; and as Lucy saw his pale, determined figure, she let out a cry of confused despair, unsure of the pain that caused it, and lifted herself trembling in her bed; but she didn’t say a word.

Pierre sat down on the bedside; and his set eyes met her terrified and virgin aspect.

Pierre sat down on the edge of the bed, and his focused gaze met her frightened and innocent expression.

“Decked in snow-white, and pale of cheek, thou indeed art fitted for the altar; but not that one of which thy fond heart did’st dream:—so fair a victim!”

“Dressed in snow-white and pale in the face, you really are made for the altar; but not the one your heart dreamed of:—such a beautiful sacrifice!”

“Pierre!”

“Peter!”

“’Tis the last cruelty of tyrants to make their enemies slay each other.”

"It’s the final cruelty of tyrants to force their enemies to kill one another."

“My heart! my heart!”

“My heart! my heart!”

“Nay;—— Lucy, I am married.”

"No;—— Lucy, I’m married."

The girl was no more pale, but white as any leper; the bed-clothes trembled to the concealed shudderings of all her limbs; one moment she sat looking vacantly into the blank eyes of Pierre, and then fell over toward him in a swoon.

The girl was no longer pale, but as white as a leper; the bedclothes shook with the hidden tremors of her limbs; one moment she sat staring blankly into Pierre's lifeless eyes, and then she collapsed toward him in a faint.

Swift madness mounted into the brain of Pierre; all the past seemed as a dream, and all the present an unintelligible horror. He lifted her, and extended her motionless form upon the bed, and stamped for succor. The maid Martha came running into the room, and beholding those two inexplicable figures, shrieked, and turned in terror. But Pierre’s repeated cry rallied Martha from this, and darting out of the chamber, she returned with a sharp restorative, which at length brought Lucy back to life.

Swift madness surged in Pierre's mind; all the past felt like a dream, and the present was an incomprehensible nightmare. He picked her up and laid her still form on the bed, calling out for help. The maid Martha rushed into the room, and upon seeing the two strange figures, screamed and turned away in fear. But Pierre's repeated cries brought Martha back to her senses, and she quickly ran out of the room, returning with a strong restorative that eventually revived Lucy.

“Martha! Martha!” now murmured Lucy, in a scarce audible whispering, and shuddering in the maid’s own shuddering arms, “quick, quick; come to me—drive it away! wake me! wake me!”

“Martha! Martha!” Lucy now whispered faintly, shuddering in the maid’s trembling embrace, “hurry, hurry; come to me—make it go away! wake me! wake me!”

“Nay, pray God to sleep again,” cried Martha, bending over her and embracing her, and half-turning upon Pierre with a glance of loathing indignation. “In God’s holy name, sir, what may this be? How came you here; accursed!”

“Please, pray that she sleeps again,” cried Martha, bending over her and hugging her while giving Pierre a look of disgust and anger. “In God’s holy name, sir, what is this? How did you get here, you cursed one!”

“Accursed?—it is well. Is she herself again, Martha?”

“Cursed?—that's fine. Is she herself again, Martha?”

“Thou hast somehow murdered her; how then be herself again? My sweet mistress! oh, my young mistress! Tell me! tell me!” and she bent low over her.

“Somehow you've killed her; how can she be herself again? My dear mistress! Oh, my young mistress! Please, tell me! Tell me!” and she leaned down close to her.

Pierre now advanced toward the bed, making a gesture for the maid to leave them; but soon as Lucy re-caught his haggard form, she whisperingly wailed again, “Martha! Martha! drive it away!—there—there! him—him!” and shut her eyes convulsively, with arms abhorrently outstretched.

Pierre now moved toward the bed, gesturing for the maid to leave them; but as soon as Lucy saw his worn-out figure again, she whispered, “Martha! Martha! make it go away!—there—there! him—him!” and shut her eyes tightly, her arms stretched out in horror.

“Monster! incomprehensible fiend!” cried the anew terror-smitten maid—“depart! See! she dies away at the sight of thee—begone! Wouldst thou murder her afresh? Begone!”

“Monster! Unbelievable monster!” shouted the now terror-stricken maid. “Leave! Look! She’s fading at the sight of you—get lost! Are you trying to kill her again? Go away!”

Starched and frozen by his own emotion, Pierre silently turned and quitted the chamber; and heavily descending the stairs, tramped heavily—as a man slowly bearing a great burden—through a long narrow passage leading to a wing in the rear of the cottage, and knocking at Miss Lanyllyn’s door, summoned her to Lucy, who, he briefly said, had fainted. Then, without waiting for any response, left the house, and went directly to the mansion.

Starched and frozen by his own emotions, Pierre quietly turned and left the room; then, heavily descending the stairs, he walked slowly—like a man carrying a heavy load—through a long, narrow passage that led to a wing at the back of the cottage. He knocked on Miss Lanyllyn’s door and called her to Lucy, who he briefly said had fainted. After that, without waiting for a response, he left the house and went straight to the mansion.


III.

“Is my mother up yet?” said he to Dates, whom he met in the hall.

“Is my mom awake yet?” he asked Dates, whom he ran into in the hallway.

“Not yet, sir;—heavens, sir! are you sick?”

“Not yet, sir;—oh my gosh, sir! Are you feeling okay?”

“To death! Let me pass.”

"To death! Let me through."

Ascending toward his mother’s chamber, he heard a coming step, and met her on the great middle landing of the stairs, where in an ample niche, a marble group of the temple-polluting Laocoon and his two innocent children, caught in inextricable snarls of snakes, writhed in eternal torments.

As he walked up to his mother's room, he heard someone approaching and met her on the large middle landing of the stairs, where in a spacious alcove, a marble statue of the temple-defiling Laocoon and his two innocent children, entangled in a hopeless mess of snakes, twisted in endless agony.

“Mother, go back with me to thy chamber.”

“Mom, come back to your room with me.”

She eyed his sudden presence with a dark but repressed foreboding; drew herself up haughtily and repellingly, and with a quivering lip, said, “Pierre, thou thyself hast denied me thy confidence, and thou shall not force me back to it so easily. Speak! what is that now between thee and me?”

She looked at him with a dark but hidden sense of dread. straightened herself up, looking proud and unapproachable, and with a trembling lip, said, “Pierre, you have denied me your trust, and you won’t make me return to it so easily. Speak! What’s going on between you and me now?”

“I am married, mother.”

"I'm married, Mom."

“Great God! To whom?”

"OMG! To whom?"

“Not to Lucy Tartan, mother.”

“Not to Lucy Tartan, Mom.”

“That thou merely sayest ’tis not Lucy, without saying who indeed it is, this is good proof she is something vile. Does Lucy know thy marriage?”

“That you just say it’s not Lucy without saying who it actually is, that’s good proof she’s someone terrible. Does Lucy know about your marriage?”

“I am but just from Lucy’s.”

"I just came from Lucy's."

Thus far Mrs. Glendinning’s rigidity had been slowly relaxing. Now she clutched the balluster, bent over, and trembled, for a moment. Then erected all her haughtiness again, and stood before Pierre in incurious, unappeasable grief and scorn for him.

Thus far, Mrs. Glendinning's stiffness had been gradually loosening. Now she gripped the banister, leaned over, and shook for a moment. Then she straightened up, put on all her arrogance again, and stood before Pierre in uninterested, unyielding sorrow and contempt for him.

“My dark soul prophesied something dark. If already thou hast not found other lodgment, and other table than this house supplies, then seek it straight. Beneath my roof, and at my table, he who was once Pierre Glendinning no more puts himself.”

“My dark soul predicted something grim. If you haven't found another place to stay or another table besides what this house offers, then look for it right away. Under my roof, and at my table, the man who was once Pierre Glendinning no longer resides.”

She turned from him, and with a tottering step climbed the winding stairs, and disappeared from him; while in the balluster he held, Pierre seemed to feel the sudden thrill running down to him from his mother’s convulsive grasp.

She turned away from him and, with unsteady steps, made her way up the winding stairs, disappearing from his sight. As he held onto the banister, Pierre felt a sudden jolt running through him from his mother’s tight grip.

He stared about him with an idiot eye; staggered to the floor below, to dumbly quit the house; but as he crossed its threshold, his foot tripped upon its raised ledge; he pitched forward upon the stone portico, and fell. He seemed as jeeringly hurled from beneath his own ancestral roof.

He looked around with a blank expression, staggered down to the floor below, ready to leave the house without a word; but as he stepped over the doorframe, his foot caught on the raised edge, and he stumbled forward onto the stone porch and fell. It felt like he was being mockingly thrown out from under his own family roof.


IV.

PASSING through the broad court-yard’s postern, Pierre closed it after him, and then turned and leaned upon it, his eyes fixed upon the great central chimney of the mansion, from which a light blue smoke was wreathing gently into the morning air.

PASSING through the wide courtyard's back gate, Pierre shut it behind him and then turned to lean against it, his eyes focused on the large central chimney of the house, from which a light blue smoke was curling softly into the morning air.

“The hearth-stone from which thou risest, never more, I inly feel, will these feet press. Oh God, what callest thou that which has thus made Pierre a vagabond?”

“The hearthstone from which you rise, I can feel deeply that these feet will never touch again. Oh God, what do you call that which has made Pierre a wanderer?”

He walked slowly away, and passing the windows of Lucy, looked up, and saw the white curtains closely drawn, the white-cottage profoundly still, and a white saddle-horse tied before the gate.

He walked away slowly, passing Lucy's windows, looked up, and saw the white curtains tightly closed, the white cottage completely still, and a white saddle horse tied up in front of the gate.

“I would enter, but again would her abhorrent wails repel; what more can I now say or do to her? I can not explain. She knows all I purposed to disclose. Ay, but thou didst cruelly burst upon her with it; thy impetuousness, thy instantaneousness hath killed her, Pierre!—Nay, nay, nay!—Cruel tidings who can gently break? If to stab be inevitable; then instant be the dagger! Those curtains are close drawn upon her; so let me upon her sweet image draw the curtains of my soul. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, thou angel!—wake no more to Pierre, nor to thyself, my Lucy!”

“I would go in, but her awful cries would push me away; what more can I say or do for her now? I can’t explain. She knows everything I intended to reveal. Yes, but you did brutally overwhelm her with it; your impatience and abruptness have killed her, Pierre!—No, no, no!—Who can gently deliver cruel news? If stabbing is unavoidable, then let the dagger strike immediately! Those curtains are tightly drawn around her; so let me draw the curtains of my soul over her sweet image. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, you angel!—wake no more for Pierre, nor for yourself, my Lucy!”

Passing on now hurriedly and blindly, he jostled against some oppositely-going wayfarer. The man paused amazed; and looking up, Pierre recognized a domestic of the Mansion. That instantaneousness which now impelled him in all his actions, again seized the ascendency in him. Ignoring the dismayed expression of the man at thus encountering his young master, Pierre commanded him to follow him. Going straight to the “Black Swan,” the little village Inn, he entered the first vacant room, and bidding the man be seated, sought the keeper of the house, and ordered pen and paper.

Rushing ahead without thinking, he bumped into a passerby coming the other way. The man stopped in surprise, and looking up, Pierre recognized a servant from the Mansion. That impulsive energy that now drove all his actions took over once again. Ignoring the man’s shocked expression at running into his young master, Pierre told him to follow him. He went directly to the “Black Swan,” the small village inn, entered the first vacant room, and telling the man to sit down, he looked for the innkeeper and asked for pen and paper.

If fit opportunity offer in the hour of unusual affliction, minds of a certain temperament find a strange, hysterical relief, in a wild, perverse humorousness, the more alluring from its entire unsuitableness to the occasion; although they seldom manifest this trait toward those individuals more immediately involved in the cause or the effect of their suffering. The cool censoriousness of the mere philosopher would denominate such conduct as nothing short of temporary madness; and perhaps it is, since, in the inexorable and inhuman eye of mere undiluted reason, all grief, whether on our own account, or that of others, is the sheerest unreason and insanity.

If a good opportunity arises during a time of unusual pain, some people find a strangely hysterical relief in a wild, inappropriate humor, which feels even more tempting because it’s so unsuitable for the situation; however, they rarely show this behavior towards those who are more directly involved in their suffering. The detached judgment of a typical philosopher would label such behavior as nothing less than temporary insanity; and it might be, since, under the relentless and unemotional gaze of pure reason, all sorrow—whether it’s our own or others'—seems to be nothing but utter irrationality and madness.

The note now written was the following:

The note written now was as follows:

For that Fine Old Fellow, Dates.

“For that Fine Old Fellow, Dates.”

“Dates, my old boy, bestir thyself now. Go to my room, Dates, and bring me down my mahogany strong-box and lock-up, the thing covered with blue chintz; strap it very carefully, my sweet Dates, it is rather heavy, and set it just without the postern. Then back and bring me down my writing-desk, and set that, too, just without the postern. Then back yet again, and bring me down the old camp-bed (see that all the parts be there), and bind the case well with a cord. Then go to the left corner little drawer in my wardrobe, and thou wilt find my visiting-cards. Tack one on the chest, and the desk, and the camp-bed case. Then get all my clothes together, and pack them in trunks (not forgetting the two old military cloaks, my boy), and tack cards on them also, my good Dates. Then fly round three times indefinitely, my good Dates, and wipe a little of the perspiration off. And then—let me see—then, my good Dates—why what then? Why, this much. Pick up all papers of all sorts that may be lying round my chamber, and see them burned. And then—have old White Hoof put to the lightest farm-wagon, and send the chest, and the desk, and the camp-bed, and the trunks to the ‘Black Swan,’ where I shall call for them, when I am ready, and not before, sweet Dates. So God bless thee, my fine, old, imperturbable Dates, and adieu!

“Dates, my friend, get moving now. Go to my room and bring down my mahogany strongbox and lock-up, the one covered with blue chintz; strap it carefully, my dear Dates, it’s quite heavy, and set it just outside the postern. Then come back and bring me my writing desk, and place that outside the postern too. Then come back again and bring down the old camp bed (make sure all the parts are there) and secure the case well with a cord. Then go to the left corner drawer in my wardrobe, and you’ll find my visiting cards. Attach one to the chest, one to the desk, and one to the camp bed case. Then gather all my clothes and pack them in trunks (don’t forget the two old military cloaks, my friend), and attach cards to those as well, my good Dates. Then spin around three times for good measure, my good Dates, and wipe off a bit of the sweat. And then—let’s see—then, my good Dates—what’s next? Oh yes. Pick up all the papers of any kind lying around my room, and see they’re burned. And then—have old White Hoof hitched to the lightest farm wagon, and send the chest, desk, camp bed, and trunks to the ‘Black Swan,’ where I’ll collect them when I’m ready, not before, sweet Dates. So God bless you, my fine, old, unflappable Dates, and goodbye!

“Thy old young master,             PIERRE.

"Your old young master, PIERRE."

Nota bene—Mark well, though, Dates. Should my mother possibly interrupt thee, say that it is my orders, and mention what it is I send for; but on no account show this to thy mistress—D’ye hear?            PIERRE again.”

Nota bene—Listen closely, Dates. If my mother happens to interrupt you, say it’s my instructions and tell her what I’m sending for; but under no circumstances let your mistress see this—Got it? PIERRE again.”

Folding this scrawl into a grotesque shape, Pierre ordered the man to take it forthwith to Dates. But the man, all perplexed, hesitated, turning the billet over in his hand; till Pierre loudly and violently bade him begone; but as the man was then rapidly departing in a panic, Pierre called him back and retracted his rude words; but as the servant now lingered again, perhaps thinking to avail himself of this repentant mood in Pierre, to say something in sympathy or remonstrance to him, Pierre ordered him off with augmented violence, and stamped for him to begone.

Folding the scrap of paper into a twisted shape, Pierre ordered the man to take it immediately to Dates. But the man, confused, hesitated, turning the note over in his hand; until Pierre shouted at him angrily to leave. As the man quickly turned to leave in a panic, Pierre called him back and took back his harsh words; but when the servant lingered again, possibly hoping to take advantage of Pierre's change of heart to offer some sympathy or protest, Pierre yelled at him even more forcefully and demanded that he go away.

Apprising the equally perplexed old landlord that certain things would in the course of that forenoon be left for him, (Pierre,) at the Inn; and also desiring him to prepare a chamber for himself and wife that night; some chamber with a commodious connecting room, which might answer for a dressing-room; and likewise still another chamber for a servant; Pierre departed the place, leaving the old landlord staring vacantly at him, and dumbly marveling what horrible thing had happened to turn the brain of his fine young favorite and old shooting comrade, Master Pierre.

Telling the equally confused old landlord that some things would be left for him at the Inn that morning, Pierre also asked him to prepare a room for himself and his wife that night—preferably a room with a comfortable adjoining space to serve as a dressing room—and another room for a servant. Pierre left the place, leaving the old landlord staring blankly at him, silently wondering what terrible thing had happened to upset the mind of his once-fine young friend and old hunting buddy, Master Pierre.

Soon the short old man went out bare-headed upon the low porch of the Inn, descended its one step, and crossed over to the middle of the road, gazing after Pierre. And only as Pierre turned up a distant lane, did his amazement and his solicitude find utterance.

Soon the short old man went out without a hat onto the low porch of the Inn, stepped down, and crossed over to the middle of the road, watching Pierre. It was only when Pierre turned down a distant lane that his surprise and concern were expressed.

“I taught him—yes, old Casks;—the best shot in all the country round is Master Pierre;—pray God he hits not now the bull’s eye in himself.—Married? married? and coming here?—This is pesky strange!”

“I taught him—yes, old Casks;—the best shot in the whole area is Master Pierre;—I hope he doesn’t hit the bull’s eye on himself this time.—Married? Married? And coming here?—This is really strange!”

BOOK XII.
ISABEL: MRS. GLENDINNING: THE PORTRAIT: AND LUCY.

I.

WHEN on the previous night Pierre had left the farm-house where Isabel harbored, it will be remembered that no hour, either of night or day, no special time at all had been assigned for a succeeding interview. It was Isabel, who for some doubtlessly sufficient reason of her own, had, for the first meeting, assigned the early hour of darkness.

WHEN on the previous night Pierre had left the farmhouse where Isabel was staying, it’s important to note that no specific time had been set for their next meeting, whether it was day or night. Isabel, for reasons that were likely meaningful to her, had chosen the early hour of darkness for their first meeting.

As now, when the full sun was well up the heavens, Pierre drew near the farm-house of the Ulvers, he descried Isabel, standing without the little dairy-wing, occupied in vertically arranging numerous glittering shield-like milk-pans on a long shelf, where they might purifyingly meet the sun. Her back was toward him. As Pierre passed through the open wicket and crossed the short soft green sward, he unconsciously muffled his footsteps, and now standing close behind his sister, touched her shoulder and stood still.

As the sun was high in the sky, Pierre approached the Ulvers’ farmhouse and spotted Isabel outside the small dairy wing, busy aligning shiny, shield-like milk pans on a long shelf to catch the sunlight. She had her back to him. As Pierre walked through the open gate and crossed the short, soft green grass, he subconsciously silenced his footsteps, and when he stood right behind his sister, he touched her shoulder and paused.

She started, trembled, turned upon him swiftly, made a low, strange cry, and then gazed rivetedly and imploringly upon him.

She jumped, shook, turned towards him quickly, let out a soft, odd sound, and then looked at him with a fixed, pleading stare.

“I look rather queerish, sweet Isabel, do I not?” said Pierre at last with a writhed and painful smile.

“I look pretty strange, don’t I, sweet Isabel?” said Pierre at last with a twisted and painful smile.

“My brother, my blessed brother!—speak—tell me—what has happened—what hast thou done? Oh! Oh! I should have warned thee before, Pierre, Pierre; it is my fault—mine, mine!”

“My brother, my dear brother!—talk to me—tell me—what has happened—what have you done? Oh! Oh! I should have warned you beforehand, Pierre, Pierre; it’s my fault—mine, mine!”

What is thy fault, sweet Isabel?”

"What is your fault, sweet Isabel?"

“Thou hast revealed Isabel to thy mother, Pierre.”

"You've introduced Isabel to your mother, Pierre."

“I have not, Isabel. Mrs. Glendinning knows not thy secret at all.”

“I haven't, Isabel. Mrs. Glendinning doesn’t know your secret at all.”

“Mrs. Glendinning?—that’s,—that’s thine own mother, Pierre! In heaven’s name, my brother, explain thyself. Knows not my secret, and yet thou here so suddenly, and with such a fatal aspect? Come, come with me into the house. Quick, Pierre, why dost thou not stir? Oh, my God! if mad myself sometimes, I am to make mad him who loves me best, and who, I fear, has in some way ruined himself for me;—then, let me no more stand upright on this sod, but fall prone beneath it, that I may be hidden! Tell me!” catching Pierre’s arms in both her frantic hands—“tell me, do I blast where I look? is my face Gorgon’s?”

“Mrs. Glendinning?—that’s your own mother, Pierre! For heaven’s sake, my brother, explain yourself. Doesn’t she know my secret, and yet you’re here so suddenly, looking so intense? Come, let’s go inside the house. Hurry, Pierre, why aren’t you moving? Oh my God! If I’m going mad sometimes, I’ll drive the one who loves me most to madness too, and I fear he’s somehow ruined himself for me;—then let me no longer stand on this ground, but fall down beneath it, so I can hide! Please tell me!” she cried, grabbing Pierre’s arms with both her frantic hands—“tell me, do I ruin everything I look at? Is my face like a Gorgon’s?”

“Nay, sweet Isabel; but it hath a more sovereign power; that turned to stone; thine might turn white marble into mother’s milk.”

“Nah, sweet Isabel; but it has a stronger power; that turned to stone; yours could turn white marble into mother’s milk.”

“Come with me—come quickly.”

"Come with me—hurry up."

They passed into the dairy, and sat down on a bench by the honey-suckled casement.

They went into the dairy and sat down on a bench by the honeysuckle-framed window.

“Pierre, forever fatal and accursed be the day my longing heart called thee to me, if now, in the very spring-time of our related love, thou art minded to play deceivingly with me, even though thou should’st fancy it for my good. Speak to me; oh speak to me, my brother!”

“Pierre, forever cursed be the day my longing heart called you to me, if now, in the very springtime of our love, you're planning to deceive me, even if you think it's for my own good. Talk to me; oh talk to me, my brother!”

“Thou hintest of deceiving one for one’s good. Now supposing, sweet Isabel, that in no case would I affirmatively deceive thee;—in no case whatever;—would’st thou then be willing for thee and me to piously deceive others, for both their and our united good?—Thou sayest nothing. Now, then, is it my turn, sweet Isabel, to bid thee speak to me, oh speak to me!”

“You're suggesting that we should deceive someone for their own good. Now, let’s say, sweet Isabel, that I would never intentionally deceive you; in no situation at all. Would you then be open to us kindly deceiving others, for both their benefit and ours? You’re not saying anything. So, now it’s my turn, sweet Isabel, to ask you to talk to me, oh please talk to me!”

“That unknown, approaching thing, seemeth ever ill, my brother, which must have unfrank heralds to go before. Oh, Pierre, dear, dear Pierre; be very careful with me! This strange, mysterious, unexampled love between us, makes me all plastic in thy hand. Be very careful with me. I know little out of me. The world seems all one unknown India to me. Look up, look on me, Pierre; say now, thou wilt be very careful; say so, say so, Pierre!”

“That unknown, approaching thing always seems bad, my brother, which must have untrustworthy messengers to announce it. Oh, Pierre, my dear, dear Pierre; please be very careful with me! This strange, mysterious, unique love between us makes me completely malleable in your hands. Be very careful with me. I know very little about myself. The world feels like one big unknown India to me. Look up, look at me, Pierre; say now, you will be very careful; say it, say it, Pierre!”

“If the most exquisite, and fragile filagree of Genoa be carefully handled by its artisan; if sacred nature carefully folds, and warms, and by inconceivable attentivenesses eggs round and round her minute and marvelous embryoes; then, Isabel, do I most carefully and most tenderly egg thee, gentlest one, and the fate of thee! Short of the great God, Isabel, there lives none who will be more careful with thee, more infinitely considerate and delicate with thee.”

“If the most beautiful and delicate filigree of Genoa is handled with care by its artisan; if nature carefully shapes and nurtures, with incredible attention, her tiny and wonderful embryos; then, Isabel, I will handle you with the utmost care and tenderness, gentle one, along with your fate! Except for the great God, no one will be more careful with you, more infinitely considerate and delicate with you.”

“From my deepest heart, do I believe thee, Pierre. Yet thou mayest be very delicate in some point, where delicateness is not all essential, and in some quick impulsive hour, omit thy fullest heedfulness somewhere where heedlessness were most fatal. Nay, nay, my brother; bleach these locks snow-white, thou sun! if I have any thought to reproach thee, Pierre, or betray distrust of thee. But earnestness must sometimes seem suspicious, else it is none. Pierre, Pierre, all thy aspect speaks eloquently of some already executed resolution, born in suddenness. Since I last saw thee, Pierre, some deed irrevocable has been done by thee. My soul is stiff and starched to it; now tell me what it is?”

“From my deepest heart, I believe you, Pierre. But you might be a bit too careful in areas where being careful isn’t crucial, and in some impulsive moment, you might overlook something important where carelessness could be disastrous. No, no, my brother; let the sun bleach these locks white! If I had any thought of blaming you, Pierre, or doubting you. But sometimes being serious can seem suspicious, or else it’s not serious at all. Pierre, Pierre, everything about you clearly shows that you’ve already made a decision quickly. Since I last saw you, Pierre, something irreversible has been done by you. My soul is rigid with it; now tell me what it is?”

“Thou, and I, and Delly Ulver, to-morrow morning depart this whole neighborhood, and go to the distant city.—That is it.”

“You, me, and Delly Ulver leave this whole neighborhood tomorrow morning and head to the distant city. That’s the plan.”

“No more?”

“No more?”

“Is it not enough?”

“Isn't that enough?”

“There is something more, Pierre.”

"There's something more, Pierre."

“Thou hast not yet answered a question I put to thee but just now. Bethink thee, Isabel. The deceiving of others by thee and me, in a thing wholly pertaining to ourselves, for their and our united good. Wouldst thou?”

“You still haven’t answered a question I just asked you. Think about it, Isabel. The way we’re deceiving others in something that’s entirely about us, for the shared benefit of both them and us. Would you?”

“I would do any thing that does not tend to the marring of thy best lasting fortunes, Pierre. What is it thou wouldst have thee and me to do together? I wait; I wait!”

“I would do anything that doesn't mess with your best lasting fortunes, Pierre. What do you want us to do together? I'm waiting; I'm waiting!”

“Let us go into the room of the double casement, my sister,” said Pierre, rising.

“Let’s go into the room with the double windows, my sister,” said Pierre, getting up.

“Nay, then; if it can not be said here, then can I not do it anywhere, my brother; for it would harm thee.”

“Nah, if it can’t be said here, then I can’t say it anywhere, my brother; because it would hurt you.”

“Girl!” cried Pierre, sternly, “if for thee I have lost”—but he checked himself.

“Girl!” Pierre exclaimed sternly, “if I’ve lost everything for you”—but he stopped himself.

“Lost? for me? Now does the very worst blacken on me. Pierre! Pierre!”

“Lost? For me? Now everything is turning against me. Pierre! Pierre!”

“I was foolish, and sought but to frighten thee, my sister. It was very foolish. Do thou now go on with thine innocent work here, and I will come again a few hours hence. Let me go now.”

“I was silly and only wanted to scare you, my sister. It was really silly. You should continue with your innocent work here, and I’ll come back in a few hours. Let me go now.”

He was turning from her, when Isabel sprang forward to him, caught him with both her arms round him, and held him so convulsively, that her hair sideways swept over him, and half concealed him.

He was turning away from her when Isabel rushed forward, wrapped her arms around him, and held him so tightly that her hair swept over him and partially covered him.

“Pierre, if indeed my soul hath cast on thee the same black shadow that my hair now flings on thee; if thou hast lost aught for me; then eternally is Isabel lost to Isabel, and Isabel will not outlive this night. If I am indeed an accursing thing, I will not act the given part, but cheat the air, and die from it. See; I let thee go, lest some poison I know not of distill upon thee from me.”

“Pierre, if my soul has indeed cast the same dark shadow on you that my hair now does; if you've lost anything because of me; then Isabel is forever lost to herself, and she won’t survive this night. If I truly am a curse, I won’t play the part that’s expected of me, but instead I’ll break free and escape it. Look; I’m letting you go, so that I don’t unknowingly bring you any kind of harm.”

She slowly drooped, and trembled from him. But Pierre caught her, and supported her.

She slowly slumped and shook away from him. But Pierre caught her and held her up.

“Foolish, foolish one! Behold, in the very bodily act of loosing hold of me, thou dost reel and fall;—unanswerable emblem of the indispensable heart-stay, I am to thee, my sweet, sweet Isabel! Prate not then of parting.”

“Foolish, foolish one! Look, in the very act of letting go of me, you stumble and fall;—an undeniable symbol of the essential support I am to you, my sweet, sweet Isabel! So don’t talk about leaving.”

“What hast thou lost for me? Tell me!”

“What have you lost for me? Tell me!”

“A gainful loss, my sister!”

“A profitable loss, my sister!”

“’Tis mere rhetoric! What hast thou lost?”

“It's just empty talk! What have you lost?”

“Nothing that my inmost heart would now recall. I have bought inner love and glory by a price, which, large or small, I would not now have paid me back, so I must return the thing I bought.”

“Nothing that I truly feel in my heart would make me want to remember. I have purchased true love and glory at a cost that, whether big or small, I wouldn’t want returned now, so I must give back what I bought.”

“Is love then cold, and glory white? Thy cheek is snowy, Pierre.”

“Is love then cold, and glory pale? Your cheek is white as snow, Pierre.”

“It should be, for I believe to God that I am pure, let the world think how it may.”

“It should be, for I believe in God that I am pure, let the world think what it wants.”

“What hast thou lost?”

"What have you lost?"

“Not thee, nor the pride and glory of ever loving thee, and being a continual brother to thee, my best sister. Nay, why dost thou now turn thy face from me?”

"Not you, nor the pride and glory of always loving you and being a constant brother to you, my dear sister. Why are you turning your face away from me now?"

“With fine words he wheedles me, and coaxes me, not to know some secret thing. Go, go, Pierre, come to me when thou wilt. I am steeled now to the worst, and to the last. Again I tell thee, I will do any thing—yes, any thing that Pierre commands—for, though outer ill do lower upon us, still, deep within, thou wilt be careful, very careful with me, Pierre?”

“With smooth words, he flatters and persuades me, not to find out some secret. Go on, Pierre, come to me whenever you want. I’m ready now for the worst and for the end. Again I tell you, I will do anything—yes, anything you command—because even though outside troubles weigh down on us, still, deep down, you’ll be cautious, very cautious with me, Pierre?”

“Thou art made of that fine, unshared stuff of which God makes his seraphim. But thy divine devotedness to me, is met by mine to thee. Well mayest thou trust me, Isabel; and whatever strangest thing I may yet propose to thee, thy confidence,—will it not bear me out? Surely thou will not hesitate to plunge, when I plunge first;—already have I plunged! now thou canst not stay upon the bank. Hearken, hearken to me.—I seek not now to gain thy prior assent to a thing as yet undone; but I call to thee now, Isabel, from the depth of a foregone act, to ratify it, backward, by thy consent. Look not so hard upon me. Listen. I will tell all. Isabel, though thou art all fearfulness to injure any living thing, least of all, thy brother; still thy true heart foreknoweth not the myriad alliances and criss-crossings among mankind, the infinite entanglements of all social things, which forbids that one thread should fly the general fabric, on some new line of duty, without tearing itself and tearing others. Listen. All that has happened up to this moment, and all that may be yet to happen, some sudden inspiration now assures me, inevitably proceeded from the first hour I saw thee. Not possibly could it, or can it, be otherwise. Therefore feel I, that I have some patience. Listen. Whatever outer things might possibly be mine; whatever seeming brightest blessings; yet now to live uncomforting and unloving to thee, Isabel; now to dwell domestically away from thee; so that only by stealth, and base connivances of the night, I could come to thee as thy related brother; this would be, and is, unutterably impossible. In my bosom a secret adder of self-reproach and self-infamy would never leave off its sting. Listen. But without gratuitous dishonor to a memory which—for right cause or wrong—is ever sacred and inviolate to me, I can not be an open brother to thee, Isabel. But thou wantest not the openness; for thou dost not pine for empty nominalness, but for vital realness; what thou wantest, is not the occasional openness of my brotherly love; but its continual domestic confidence. Do I not speak thine own hidden heart to thee? say, Isabel? Well, then, still listen to me. One only way presents to this; a most strange way, Isabel; to the world, that never throbbed for thee in love, a most deceitful way; but to all a harmless way; so harmless in its essence, Isabel, that, seems to me, Pierre hath consulted heaven itself upon it, and heaven itself did not say Nay. Still, listen to me; mark me. As thou knowest that thou wouldst now droop and die without me; so would I without thee. We are equal there; mark that, too, Isabel. I do not stoop to thee, nor thou to me; but we both reach up alike to a glorious ideal! Now the continualness, the secretness, yet the always present domesticness of our love; how may we best compass that, without jeopardizing the ever-sacred memory I hinted of? One way—one way—only one! A strange way, but most pure. Listen. Brace thyself: here, let me hold thee now; and then whisper it to thee, Isabel. Come, I holding thee, thou canst not fall.”

“You are made of that fine, unique essence that God uses to create his seraphim. But your divine devotion to me is matched by my devotion to you. You can trust me, Isabel; and whatever strange thing I might propose to you, your confidence—won't it support me? Surely, you won’t hesitate to dive in when I dive first;—I’ve already jumped in! Now you can't stay on the shore. Listen to me.—I’m not asking for your prior agreement to something that hasn’t happened yet; rather, I’m calling to you now, Isabel, to approve what I’ve already done, retroactively, with your consent. Don’t look at me so intensely. Listen. I will explain everything. Isabel, even though you fear harming any living being, least of all your brother; still, your true heart doesn’t foresee the countless connections and intertwining among people, the infinite complications of all social matters, which prevent one thread from pulling away from the tangled fabric for some new duty, without tearing itself and others apart. Listen. Everything that has happened up to this moment, and everything that might still happen, as some sudden insight assures me, inevitably stems from the first hour I laid eyes on you. It couldn't have been any other way. Therefore, I feel that I have some patience. Listen. Whatever external things might possibly belong to me; whatever appear to be the brightest blessings; to live now without comfort and love for you, Isabel; to live away from you in our home; only able to see you secretly, under the cover of night, as your brother; that would be, and is, beyond impossible. Inside me, a hidden poison of self-reproach and shame would never stop its sting. Listen. But without discrediting a memory that—for better or worse—is always sacred and inviolable to me, I cannot be an open brother to you, Isabel. But you don’t want that openness; you’re not yearning for empty titles, but for authentic connection; what you truly desire is not sporadic displays of my brotherly love, but its constant, trustworthy presence. Am I speaking to your hidden heart? Tell me, Isabel. Well, then, still listen to me. There’s only one way to achieve this; a very strange way, Isabel; a deceptive way to the world, that never loved you; but for all, a harmless way; so harmless in its essence, Isabel, that it seems to me Pierre consulted heaven about it, and heaven itself didn’t refuse. Still, listen to me; pay attention. Just as you know you’d fade and perish without me; I would be the same without you. We are equal there; acknowledge that, too, Isabel. I don’t stoop to you, nor do you to me; we both reach upward to a glorious ideal! Now, how can we maintain the continuity, the secrecy, yet the ever-present intimacy of our love, without jeopardizing the sacred memory I mentioned? There’s one way—only one! A strange way, but completely pure. Listen. Prepare yourself: here, let me hold you now; and then I’ll whisper it to you, Isabel. Come, with me holding you, you cannot fall.”

He held her tremblingly; she bent over toward him; his mouth wet her ear; he whispered it.

He held her shakily; she leaned in closer to him; his mouth touched her ear; he whispered it.

The girl moved not; was done with all her tremblings; leaned closer to him, with an inexpressible strangeness of an intense love, new and inexplicable. Over the face of Pierre there shot a terrible self-revelation; he imprinted repeated burning kisses upon her; pressed hard her hand; would not let go her sweet and awful passiveness.

The girl didn't move; she was finished with all her trembling; she leaned closer to him, filled with an intense, new, and mysterious love. A terrible realization struck Pierre; he pressed his lips to hers with passionate kisses; he held her hand tightly; he wouldn’t let go of her sweet, haunting stillness.

Then they changed; they coiled together, and entangledly stood mute.

Then they changed; they curled up together and stood silently, tangled.


II.

MRS. Glendinning walked her chamber; her dress loosened.

MRS. Glendinning paced her room; her dress was loose.

“That such accursed vileness should proceed from me! Now will the tongued world say—See the vile boy of Mary Glendinning!—Deceitful! thick with guilt, where I thought it was all guilelessness and gentlest docility to me. It has not happened! It is not day! Were this thing so, I should go mad, and be shut up, and not walk here where every door is open to me.—My own only son married to an unknown—thing! My own only son, false to his holiest plighted public vow—and the wide world knowing to it! He bears my name—Glendinning. I will disown it; were it like this dress, I would tear my name off from me, and burn it till it shriveled to a crisp!—Pierre! Pierre! come back, come back, and swear it is not so! It can not be! Wait: I will ring the bell, and see if it be so.”

"How could such cursed wickedness come from me! Now the world will say—Look at the vile boy of Mary Glendinning!—Deceitful! Burdened with guilt, when I thought it was all innocence and gentlest compliance with me. It hasn't happened! It isn't daytime! If this were the case, I would go mad and be locked away, and not walk here where every door is open to me.—My only son married to an unknown—thing! My only son, betraying his most sacred public vow—and the whole world knows it! He carries my name—Glendinning. I will disown it; if it were like this dress, I would tear my name off of me and burn it until it shriveled to a crisp!—Pierre! Pierre! come back, come back, and swear it isn't true! It can't be! Wait: I will ring the bell and see if it's so."

She rung the bell with violence, and soon heard a responsive knock.

She rang the bell forcefully and soon heard a knock in response.

“Come in!—Nay, falter not;” (throwing a shawl over her) “come in. Stand there and tell me if thou darest, that my son was in this house this morning and met me on the stairs. Darest thou say that?”

“Come in!—No, don’t hesitate;” (throwing a shawl over her) “come in. Stand there and tell me if you dare that my son was in this house this morning and saw me on the stairs. Do you dare say that?”

Dates looked confounded at her most unwonted aspect.

Dates looked puzzled by her unexpected appearance.

“Say it! find thy tongue! Or I will root mine out and fling it at thee! Say it!”

“Say it! Find your voice! Or I’ll rip mine out and throw it at you! Say it!”

“My dear mistress!”

"Hey, my lady!"

“I am not thy mistress! but thou my master; for, if thou sayest it, thou commandest me to madness.—Oh, vile boy!—Begone from me!”

“I am not your mistress! You are my master; for if you say it, you drive me to madness.—Oh, disgusting boy!—Get away from me!”

She locked the door upon him, and swiftly and distractedly walked her chamber. She paused, and tossing down the curtains, shut out the sun from the two windows.

She locked the door behind him and quickly walked around her room, lost in thought. She paused, then threw down the curtains, blocking out the sunlight from both windows.

Another, but an unsummoned knock, was at the door. She opened it.

Another, but an uninvited knock, came at the door. She opened it.

“My mistress, his Reverence is below. I would not call you, but he insisted.”

“My mistress, his Reverence is downstairs. I wouldn't have called you, but he insisted.”

“Let him come up.”

“Let him come.”

“Here? Immediately?”

"Here? Right now?"

“Didst thou hear me? Let Mr. Falsgrave come up.”

“Did you hear me? Let Mr. Falsgrave come up.”

As if suddenly and admonishingly made aware, by Dates, of the ungovernable mood of Mrs. Glendinning, the clergyman entered the open door of her chamber with a most deprecating but honest reluctance, and apprehensiveness of he knew not what.

As if suddenly and warningly reminded by Dates of Mrs. Glendinning's uncontrollable mood, the clergyman entered her room through the open door with a humble yet sincere reluctance, feeling anxious about who knows what.

“Be seated, sir; stay, shut the door and lock it.”

“Have a seat, sir; hold on, close the door and lock it.”

“Madam!”

“Ma'am!”

I will do it. Be seated. Hast thou seen him?”

“I will do it. Please sit down. Have you seen him?”

“Whom, Madam?—Master Pierre?”

"Who, Madam?—Master Pierre?"

“Him!—quick!”

“Grab him!—fast!”

“It was to speak of him I came, Madam. He made a most extraordinary call upon me last night—midnight.”

“It’s about him that I came, Madam. He made a really unexpected visit to me last night—right at midnight.”

“And thou marriedst him?—Damn thee!”

"And you married him?—Damn you!"

“Nay, nay, nay, Madam; there is something here I know not of—I came to tell thee news, but thou hast some o’erwhelming tidings to reveal to me.”

"Nah, nah, nah, ma'am; there’s something here I don’t understand—I came to tell you some news, but you have some overwhelming information to share with me.”

“I beg no pardons; but I may be sorry. Mr. Falsgrave, my son, standing publicly plighted to Lucy Tartan, has privately wedded some other girl—some slut!”

“I don’t ask for any forgiveness; but I might feel regret. Mr. Falsgrave, my son, who is publicly engaged to Lucy Tartan, has secretly married another girl—some tramp!”

“Impossible!”

“Not a chance!”

“True as thou art there. Thou knowest nothing of it then?”

“True as you are there. You know nothing about it then?”

“Nothing, nothing—not one grain till now. Who is it he has wedded?”

“Nothing, nothing—not a single thing up to now. Who has he married?”

“Some slut, I tell thee!—I am no lady now, but something deeper,—a woman!—an outraged and pride-poisoned woman!”

“Some slut, I tell you!—I’m not a lady anymore, but something deeper,—a woman!—an outraged and pride-poisoned woman!”

She turned from him swiftly, and again paced the room, as frantic and entirely regardless of any presence. Waiting for her to pause, but in vain, Mr. Falsgrave advanced toward her cautiously, and with the profoundest deference, which was almost a cringing, spoke:—

She spun away from him quickly and started pacing the room again, frantic and completely unconcerned about anyone else around. Waiting for her to stop, but it was useless, Mr. Falsgrave approached her cautiously, with deep respect that almost felt like he was groveling, and said:—

“It is the hour of woe to thee; and I confess my cloth hath no consolation for thee yet awhile. Permit me to withdraw from thee, leaving my best prayers for thee, that thou mayst know some peace, ere this now shut-out sun goes down. Send for me whenever thou desirest me.—May I go now?”

“It’s a sad time for you, and I admit that my support can’t help you right now. Please let me step away, keeping my best wishes for you, hoping you find some peace before this now-hidden sun sets. Call for me whenever you need me. Can I leave now?”

“Begone! and let me not hear thy soft, mincing voice, which is an infamy to a man! Begone, thou helpless, and unhelping one!”

“Get out! I don’t want to hear your soft, whiny voice, which is shameful for a man! Leave, you useless and unhelpful one!”

She swiftly paced the room again, swiftly muttering to herself. “Now, now, now, now I see it clearer, clearer—clear now as day! My first dim suspicions pointed right!—too right! Ay—the sewing! it was the sewing!—The shriek!—I saw him gazing rooted at her. He would not speak going home with me. I charged him with his silence; he put me off with lies, lies, lies! Ay, ay, he is married to her, to her;—to her!—perhaps was then. And yet,—and yet,—how can it be?—Lucy, Lucy—I saw him, after that, look on her as if he would be glad to die for her, and go to hell for her, whither he deserves to go!—Oh! oh! oh! Thus ruthlessly to cut off, at one gross sensual dash, the fair succession of an honorable race! Mixing the choicest wine with filthy water from the plebeian pool, and so turning all to undistinguishable rankness!—Oh viper! had I thee now in me, I would be a suicide and a murderer with one blow!”

She paced the room again, muttering to herself. “Now, now, now, now I see it more clearly—clear as day! My initial suspicions were right—too right! Oh, the sewing! It was the sewing! The scream! I saw him staring at her, completely frozen. He wouldn’t speak on the way home with me. I confronted him about his silence; he brushed me off with lies, lies, lies! Yes, yes, he is married to her, to her;—to her!—maybe he was even then. And yet,—and yet,—how can this be?—Lucy, Lucy—I saw him afterwards look at her as if he would gladly die for her and go to hell for her, where he deserves to be!—Oh! oh! oh! To so ruthlessly cut off, in one disgusting act, the noble lineage of an honorable family! Mixing the finest wine with filthy water from the common pool, turning everything into an indistinguishable mess!—Oh viper! If I had you in my grasp now, I would be both a suicide and a murderer in one blow!”

A third knock was at the door. She opened it.

A third knock sounded at the door. She opened it.

“My mistress, I thought it would disturb you,—it is so just overhead,—so I have not removed them yet.”

“My lady, I thought it might bother you since it’s right above, so I haven’t taken them down yet.”

“Unravel thy gibberish!—what is it?”

“Unravel your gibberish!—what is it?”

“Pardon, my mistress, I somehow thought you knew it, but you can not.”

“Sorry, my lady, I somehow thought you knew this, but you don’t.”

“What is that writing crumpling in thy hand? Give it me.”

“What is that paper crumpled in your hand? Hand it over to me.”

“I have promised my young master not to, my mistress.”

“I promised my young master I wouldn’t, my lady.”

“I will snatch it, then, and so leave thee blameless.—What? what? what?—He’s mad sure!—‘Fine old fellow Dates’—what? what?—mad and merry!—chest?—clothes?—trunks?—he wants them?—Tumble them out of his window!—and if he stand right beneath, tumble them out! Dismantle that whole room. Tear up the carpet. I swear, he shall leave no smallest vestige in this house.—Here! this very spot—here, here, where I stand, he may have stood upon;—yes, he tied my shoe-string here; it’s slippery! Dates!”

“I’ll grab it, then, and leave you blameless.—What? What? What?—He’s definitely lost it!—‘Great old guy Dates’—what? What?—crazy and cheerful!—chest?—clothes?—trunks?—he wants those?—Throw them out of his window!—and if he’s standing right below, toss them out! Dismantle that whole room. Rip up the carpet. I swear, he won’t leave a single trace in this house.—Here! This very spot—here, here, where I’m standing, he may have stood;—yes, he tied my shoelace here; it’s slippery! Dates!”

“My mistress.”

“My partner.”

“Do his bidding. By reflection he has made me infamous to the world; and I will make him infamous to it. Listen, and do not delude thyself that I am crazy. Go up to yonder room” (pointing upward), “and remove every article in it, and where he bid thee set down the chest and trunks, there set down all the contents of that room.”

“Do what he asks. By his actions, he has made me infamous to the world, and I will do the same to him. Listen, and don't fool yourself into thinking I'm insane. Go up to that room” (pointing upward), “and take out everything in it, and where he told you to put the chest and trunks, put all the contents of that room there.”

“’Twas before the house—this house!”

"It was before the house—this house!"

“And if it had not been there, I would not order thee to put them there. Dunce! I would have the world know that I disown and scorn him! Do my bidding!—Stay. Let the room stand; but take him what he asks for.”

“And if it hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have told you to put it there. Fool! I want the world to know that I disown and reject him! Do what I say!—Wait. Leave the room as it is; but give him what he wants.”

“I will, my mistress.”

"I will, my lady."

As Dates left the chamber, Mrs. Glendinning again paced it swiftly, and again swiftly muttered: “Now, if I were less a strong and haughty woman, the fit would have gone by ere now. But deep volcanoes long burn, ere they burn out.—Oh, that the world were made of such malleable stuff, that we could recklessly do our fieriest heart’s-wish before it, and not falter. Accursed be those four syllables of sound which make up that vile word Propriety. It is a chain and bell to drag;—drag? what sound is that? there’s dragging—his trunks—the traveler’s—dragging out. Oh would I could so drag my heart, as fishers for the drowned do, as that I might drag up my sunken happiness! Boy! boy! worse than brought in dripping drowned to me,—drowned in icy infamy! Oh! oh! oh!”

As Dates left the room, Mrs. Glendinning started pacing again and muttered quickly, “If I weren’t such a strong and proud woman, this feeling would have passed by now. But deep volcanoes burn for a long time before they cool down. Oh, if only the world were made of something flexible, so we could freely pursue our heart's desires without hesitation. Curse those four syllables that make up that awful word Propriety. It’s a heavy chain to drag around; dragging? What’s that noise? Oh, it’s the traveler’s trunks being dragged out. I wish I could pull my heart up like fishers do for the drowned, so I could bring back my lost happiness! Boy! Boy! It’s worse than being brought in dripping like someone who drowned—drowned in horrible shame! Oh! Oh! Oh!”

She threw herself upon the bed, covered her face, and lay motionless. But suddenly rose again, and hurriedly rang the bell.

She threw herself onto the bed, covered her face, and lay still. But then she suddenly got up and quickly rang the bell.

“Open that desk, and draw the stand to me. Now wait and take this to Miss Lucy.”

"Open that desk and pull the stand closer to me. Now wait and take this to Miss Lucy."

With a pencil she rapidly traced these lines:—

With a pencil, she quickly drew these lines:—

“My heart bleeds for thee, sweet Lucy. I can not speak—I know it all. Look for me the first hour I regain myself.”

"My heart aches for you, dear Lucy. I can’t put it into words—I understand everything. Look for me as soon as I come to."

Again she threw herself upon the bed, and lay motionless.

Again she threw herself onto the bed and lay still.


III.

TOWARD sundown that evening, Pierre stood in one of the three bespoken chambers in the Black Swan Inn; the blue chintz-covered chest and the writing-desk before him. His hands were eagerly searching through his pockets.

TOWARD sundown that evening, Pierre stood in one of the three reserved rooms at the Black Swan Inn; the blue chintz-covered chest and the writing desk before him. His hands were eagerly rummaging through his pockets.

“The key! the key! Nay, then, I must force it open. It bodes ill, too. Yet lucky is it, some bankers can break into their own vaults, when other means do fail. Not so, ever. Let me see:—yes, the tongs there. Now then for the sweet sight of gold and silver. I never loved it till this day. How long it has been hoarded;—little token pieces, of years ago, from aunts, uncles, cousins innumerable, and from—but I won’t mention them; dead henceforth to me! Sure there’ll be a premium on such ancient gold. There’s some broad bits, token pieces to my—I name him not—more than half a century ago. Well, well, I never thought to cast them back into the sordid circulations whence they came. But if they must be spent, now is the time, in this last necessity, and in this sacred cause. ’Tis a most stupid, dunderheaded crowbar. Hoy! so! ah, now for it:—snake’s nest!”

“The key! The key! Well, I guess I have to force it open. This doesn’t look good. But lucky for me, some bankers can break into their own vaults when other methods fail. Not always, though. Let me see: yes, the tongs over there. Now, let’s see that sweet sight of gold and silver. I never liked it until today. It’s been hoarded for so long—little token pieces from years ago, from aunts, uncles, countless cousins, and from—but I won't mention them; they’re dead to me now! There’s definitely a premium on such old gold. There are some big coins, token pieces to my—I'm not naming him—more than half a century ago. Well, well, I never thought I’d toss them back into the dirty circulation they came from. But if they must be spent, now’s the time, in this last necessity, and for this sacred cause. It’s a really stupid, clumsy crowbar. Hey! Here we go: snake’s nest!”

Forced suddenly back, the chest-lid had as suddenly revealed to him the chair-portrait lying on top of all the rest, where he had secreted it some days before. Face up, it met him with its noiseless, ever-nameless, and ambiguous, unchanging smile. Now his first repugnance was augmented by an emotion altogether new. That certain lurking lineament in the portrait, whose strange transfer blended with far other, and sweeter, and nobler characteristics, was visible in the countenance of Isabel; that lineament in the portrait was somehow now detestable; nay, altogether loathsome, ineffably so, to Pierre. He argued not with himself why this was so; he only felt it, and most keenly.

Forced back unexpectedly, the lid of the chest suddenly revealed the portrait of the chair lying on top of everything else, where he had hidden it a few days earlier. Facing him, it greeted him with its silent, ever-unknown, ambiguous, and unchanging smile. Now, his initial disgust was heightened by a completely new feeling. That certain subtle feature in the portrait, whose strange presence blended with distant, sweeter, and nobler traits, was visible in Isabel’s face; that feature in the portrait had now become detestable to Pierre; in fact, it was utterly repulsive, ineffably so. He didn’t question why this was the case; he just felt it, and very intensely.

Omitting more subtile inquisition into this deftly-winding theme, it will be enough to hint, perhaps, that possibly one source of this new hatefulness had its primary and unconscious rise in one of those profound ideas, which at times atmospherically, as it were, do insinuate themselves even into very ordinary minds. In the strange relativeness, reciprocalness, and transmittedness, between the long-dead father’s portrait, and the living daughter’s face, Pierre might have seemed to see reflected to him, by visible and uncontradictable symbols, the tyranny of Time and Fate. Painted before the daughter was conceived or born, like a dumb seer, the portrait still seemed leveling its prophetic finger at that empty air, from which Isabel did finally emerge. There seemed to lurk some mystical intelligence and vitality in the picture; because, since in his own memory of his father, Pierre could not recall any distinct lineament transmitted to Isabel, but vaguely saw such in the portrait; therefore, not Pierre’s parent, as any way rememberable by him, but the portrait’s painted self seemed the real father of Isabel; for, so far as all sense went, Isabel had inherited one peculiar trait no-whither traceable but to it.

Skipping a deeper examination of this intricately woven theme, it’s enough to suggest that one possible source of this new animosity might have originated subconsciously from one of those profound ideas that sometimes seep into even the most ordinary minds. In the peculiar connection, reciprocity, and transmission between the portrait of the long-dead father and the living daughter's face, Pierre might have perceived, through undeniable symbols, the power of Time and Fate. Painted before Isabel was conceived or born, the portrait seemed like a silent seer, still pointing its prophetic finger at the empty space from which Isabel eventually came. The picture appeared to possess some mystical intelligence and vitality; because in Pierre’s own memory of his father, he couldn’t recall any specific features passed down to Isabel, yet he vaguely recognized some in the portrait. Thus, not Pierre’s father as he remembered him, but the painted self of the portrait seemed to be Isabel's true father; for, as far as any sense went, Isabel had inherited one unique trait that could only be traced back to it.

And as his father was now sought to be banished from his mind, as a most bitter presence there, but Isabel was become a thing of intense and fearful love for him; therefore, it was loathsome to him, that in the smiling and ambiguous portrait, her sweet mournful image should be so sinisterly becrooked, bemixed, and mutilated to him.

And since he was trying to push his father out of his mind, who felt like a really painful presence, Isabel had become someone he loved deeply and fearfully. So it was repulsive to him that in the smiling and ambiguous portrait, her sweet, sad image appeared so twisted, mixed up, and damaged to him.

When, the first shock, and then the pause were over, he lifted the portrait in his two hands, and held it averted from him.

When the initial shock and then the pause passed, he lifted the portrait with both hands and held it turned away from him.

“It shall not live. Hitherto I have hoarded up mementoes and monuments of the past; been a worshiper of all heirlooms; a fond filer away of letters, locks of hair, bits of ribbon, flowers, and the thousand-and-one minutenesses which love and memory think they sanctify:—but it is forever over now! If to me any memory shall henceforth be dear, I will not mummy it in a visible memorial for every passing beggar’s dust to gather on. Love’s museum is vain and foolish as the Catacombs, where grinning apes and abject lizards are embalmed, as, forsooth, significant of some imagined charm. It speaks merely of decay and death, and nothing more; decay and death of endless innumerable generations; it makes of earth one mold. How can lifelessness be fit memorial of life?—So far, for mementoes of the sweetest. As for the rest—now I know this, that in commonest memorials, the twilight fact of death first discloses in some secret way, all the ambiguities of that departed thing or person; obliquely it casts hints, and insinuates surmises base, and eternally incapable of being cleared. Decreed by God Omnipotent it is, that Death should be the last scene of the last act of man’s play;—a play, which begin how it may, in farce or comedy, ever hath its tragic end; the curtain inevitably falls upon a corpse. Therefore, never more will I play the vile pigmy, and by small memorials after death, attempt to reverse the decree of death, by essaying the poor perpetuating of the image of the original. Let all die, and mix again! As for this—this!—why longer should I preserve it? Why preserve that on which one can not patient look? If I am resolved to hold his public memory inviolate,—destroy this thing; for here is the one great, condemning, and unsuborned proof, whose mysticalness drives me half mad.—Of old Greek times, before man’s brain went into doting bondage, and bleached and beaten in Baconian fulling-mills, his four limbs lost their barbaric tan and beauty; when the round world was fresh, and rosy, and spicy, as a new-plucked apple;—all’s wilted now!—in those bold times, the great dead were not, turkey-like, dished in trenchers, and set down all garnished in the ground, to glut the damned Cyclop like a cannibal; but nobly envious Life cheated the glutton worm, and gloriously burned the corpse; so that the spirit up-pointed, and visibly forked to heaven!

"It shall not live. Until now, I've collected reminders and keepsakes from the past; I've treasured every heirloom; I've lovingly saved letters, locks of hair, bits of ribbon, flowers, and all the countless little things that love and memory seem to sanctify:—but that’s all over now! If any memory becomes dear to me from this point on, I won’t preserve it in a visible memorial for every passing stranger's dust to settle on. Love’s museum is as pointless and foolish as the Catacombs, where grinning monkeys and pathetic lizards are preserved, supposedly representing some imagined charm. It only speaks of decay and death, and nothing more; decay and death of countless generations; it turns the earth into a single mold. How can lifelessness be a fitting tribute to life?—So much for mementoes of the sweetest memories. As for the rest—now I understand that even the simplest memorials reveal the twilight fact of death in secret ways, casting subtle hints and insinuating base suspicions that can never be clarified. It is decreed by Omnipotent God that Death should be the final scene of man's play;—a play that, no matter how it starts, whether in farce or comedy, always ends tragically; the curtain inevitably falls on a corpse. Therefore, I will no longer play this wretched role, and through little memorials after death, try to overturn the decree of death by attempting to poorly preserve the image of the original. Let all die and mix again! As for this—this!—why should I keep it any longer? Why preserve something I cannot bear to look at? If I am determined to keep his public memory intact,—then destroy this thing; for here is the one great, damning, and undeniable proof, whose mystique drives me nearly mad.—In ancient Greek times, before man's mind fell into dull bondage, and his body lost its wild tan and beauty; when the world was fresh, rosy, and fragrant like a new-picked apple;—everything is wilted now!—in those daring times, the great dead were not, like turkeys, served on platters, buried in the ground, to satisfy the gluttonous like a cannibal; but Life, with noble envy, cheated the greedy worm and gloriously burned the corpse, so that the spirit rose upward, visibly pointing to heaven!"

“So now will I serve thee. Though that solidity of which thou art the unsolid duplicate, hath long gone to its hideous church-yard account;—and though, God knows! but for one part of thee it may have been fit auditing;—yet will I now a second time see thy obsequies performed, and by now burning thee, urn thee in the great vase of air! Come now!”

“So now I will serve you. Even though the solidity that you are the insubstantial copy of has long been sent to its ugly graveyard;—and though, God knows! if it weren't for one part of you it might have been a suitable farewell;—yet I will now see your funeral performed for the second time, and by burning you, I will put you in the great vase of air! Come on now!”

A small wood-fire had been kindled on the hearth to purify the long-closed room; it was now diminished to a small pointed heap of glowing embers. Detaching and dismembering the gilded but tarnished frame, Pierre laid the four pieces on the coals; as their dryness soon caught the sparks, he rolled the reversed canvas into a scroll, and tied it, and committed it to the now crackling, clamorous flames. Steadfastly Pierre watched the first crispings and blackenings of the painted scroll, but started as suddenly unwinding from the burnt string that had tied it, for one swift instant, seen through the flame and smoke, the upwrithing portrait tormentedly stared at him in beseeching horror, and then, wrapped in one broad sheet of oily fire, disappeared forever.

A small fire had been started in the fireplace to cleanse the long-neglected room; it had now dwindled to a pointed pile of glowing embers. Removing the gilded but tarnished frame, Pierre placed the four pieces on the coals; as they quickly caught fire, he rolled the canvas into a scroll, tied it up, and threw it into the crackling flames. Pierre watched intently as the painted scroll began to crisp and blacken, but then he suddenly flinched when, for a brief moment, he saw through the smoke and flames the twisted portrait staring back at him in desperate horror, and then, engulfed in a sheet of oily fire, it vanished forever.

Yielding to a sudden ungovernable impulse, Pierre darted his hand among the flames, to rescue the imploring face; but as swiftly drew back his scorched and bootless grasp. His hand was burnt and blackened, but he did not heed it.

Yielding to a sudden uncontrollable impulse, Pierre thrust his hand into the flames to save the pleading face; but he quickly pulled back his burned and singed hand. His hand was scorched and blackened, but he didn’t care.

He ran back to the chest, and seizing repeated packages of family letters, and all sorts of miscellaneous memorials in paper, he threw them one after the other upon the fire.

He ran back to the chest, grabbing package after package of family letters and all kinds of random documents, and threw them one by one into the fire.

“Thus, and thus, and thus! on thy manes I fling fresh spoils; pour out all my memory in one libation!—so, so, so—lower, lower, lower; now all is done, and all is ashes! Henceforth, cast-out Pierre hath no paternity, and no past; and since the Future is one blank to all; therefore, twice-disinherited Pierre stands untrammeledly his ever-present self!—free to do his own self-will and present fancy to whatever end!”

“Like this, and this, and this! I cast fresh spoils onto your manes; I pour out all my memories in one offering!—so, so, so—lower, lower, lower; now it’s all done, and it’s all ashes! From now on, cast-out Pierre has no lineage and no past; and since the future is a complete blank for everyone; therefore, twice-disinherited Pierre stands completely free as his ever-present self!—free to follow his own will and present desires to any end!”


IV.

THAT same sunset Lucy lay in her chamber. A knock was heard at its door, and the responding Martha was met by the now self-controlled and resolute face of Mrs. Glendinning.

THAT same sunset, Lucy was in her room. There was a knock at the door, and when Martha answered, she found Mrs. Glendinning, who now had a calm and determined expression on her face.

“How is your young mistress, Martha? May I come in?”

“How is your young mistress, Martha? Can I come in?”

But waiting for no answer, with the same breath she passed the maid, and determinately entered the room.

But without waiting for a response, she brushed past the maid and boldly walked into the room.

She sat down by the bed, and met the open eye, but closed and pallid mouth of Lucy. She gazed rivetedly and inquisitively a moment; then turned a quick aghast look toward Martha, as if seeking warrant for some shuddering thought.

She sat down by the bed and looked at Lucy's open eye but at her closed, pale mouth. She stared intensely and curiously for a moment; then she quickly turned to Martha with a shocked expression, as if looking for confirmation of a disturbing thought.

“Miss Lucy”—said Martha—“it is your—it is Mrs. Glendinning. Speak to her, Miss Lucy.”

“Miss Lucy,” said Martha, “it’s your—it’s Mrs. Glendinning. Talk to her, Miss Lucy.”

As if left in the last helpless attitude of some spent contortion of her grief, Lucy was not lying in the ordinary posture of one in bed, but lay half crosswise upon it, with the pale pillows propping her hueless form, and but a single sheet thrown over her, as though she were so heart overladen, that her white body could not bear one added feather. And as in any snowy marble statue, the drapery clings to the limbs; so as one found drowned, the thin, defining sheet invested Lucy.

As if caught in the final, vulnerable position of her overwhelming grief, Lucy wasn't lying in the usual way in bed; instead, she was half across it, with the pale pillows supporting her lifeless body, and only a single sheet draped over her, as if she were so burdened with sorrow that her white form couldn't handle even an extra feather. And just like a snowy marble statue where the fabric clings to the figure, the thin, defining sheet enveloped Lucy.

“It is Mrs. Glendinning. Will you speak to her, Miss Lucy?”

“It’s Mrs. Glendinning. Can you talk to her, Miss Lucy?”

The thin lips moved and trembled for a moment, and then were still again, and augmented pallor shrouded her.

The thin lips quivered for a moment, then fell silent again, as a deeper pallor enveloped her.

Martha brought restoratives; and when all was as before, she made a gesture for the lady to depart, and in a whisper, said, “She will not speak to any; she does not speak to me. The doctor has just left—he has been here five times since morning—and says she must be kept entirely quiet.” Then pointing to the stand, added, “You see what he has left—mere restoratives. Quiet is her best medicine now, he says. Quiet, quiet, quiet! Oh, sweet quiet, wilt thou now ever come?”

Martha brought some medicine, and when everything returned to normal, she signaled for the lady to leave and whispered, “She won’t talk to anyone; she doesn’t talk to me. The doctor just left—he’s been here five times since this morning—and says she needs to stay completely quiet.” Then, pointing to the table, she added, “You see what he left—just some medicine. He says rest is the best cure for her right now. Rest, rest, rest! Oh, sweet silence, will you ever come?”

“Has Mrs. Tartan been written to?” whispered the lady. Martha nodded.

“Has Mrs. Tartan been contacted?” whispered the lady. Martha nodded.

So the lady moved to quit the room, saying that once every two hours she would send to know how Lucy fared.

So the lady decided to leave the room, saying she would check in every two hours to see how Lucy was doing.

“But where, where is her aunt, Martha?” she exclaimed, lowly, pausing at the door, and glancing in sudden astonishment about the room; “surely, surely, Mrs. Lanyllyn—”

“But where, where is her aunt, Martha?” she exclaimed softly, pausing at the door and glancing around the room in sudden astonishment. “Surely, surely, Mrs. Lanyllyn—”

“Poor, poor old lady,” weepingly whispered Martha, “she hath caught infection from sweet Lucy’s woe; she hurried hither, caught one glimpse of that bed, and fell like dead upon the floor. The Doctor hath two patients now, lady”—glancing at the bed, and tenderly feeling Lucy’s bosom, to mark if yet it heaved; “Alack! Alack! oh, reptile! reptile! that could sting so sweet a breast! fire would be too cold for him—accursed!”

“Poor, poor old lady,” Martha whispered tearfully, “she caught the infection from dear Lucy’s suffering; she rushed here, saw that bed, and collapsed like she was dead on the floor. The doctor has two patients now, lady”—glancing at the bed and gently checking Lucy’s chest to see if it was still rising and falling; “Oh no! Oh no! that vile creature that could hurt such a sweet soul! Fire would be too cold for him—cursed!”

“Thy own tongue blister the roof of thy mouth!” cried Mrs. Glendinning, in a half-stifled, whispering scream. “’Tis not for thee, hired one, to rail at my son, though he were Lucifer, simmering in Hell! Mend thy manners, minx!”

“Your own tongue will burn the roof of your mouth!” shouted Mrs. Glendinning in a muffled, whispery scream. “It’s not your place, hired hand, to insult my son, even if he were Lucifer himself, boiling in Hell! Fix your attitude, you brat!”

And she left the chamber, dilated with her unconquerable pride, leaving Martha aghast at such venom in such beauty.

And she left the room, filled with her unstoppable pride, leaving Martha stunned by such venom in such beauty.

BOOK XIII.
THEY DEPART THE MEADOWS.

I.

IT was just dusk when Pierre approached the Ulver farm-house, in a wagon belonging to the Black Swan Inn. He met his sister shawled and bonneted in the porch.

IT was just getting dark when Pierre rolled up to the Ulver farmhouse in a wagon from the Black Swan Inn. He ran into his sister, who was wrapped in a shawl and wearing a bonnet, on the porch.

“Now then, Isabel, is all ready? Where is Delly? I see two most small and inconsiderable portmanteaux. Wee is the chest that holds the goods of the disowned! The wagon waits, Isabel. Now is all ready? and nothing left?”

“Okay, Isabel, is everything ready? Where's Delly? I only see two tiny and insignificant suitcases. Where's the trunk that holds the belongings of the disowned? The wagon is waiting, Isabel. Is everything ready now? Is there nothing left?”

“Nothing, Pierre; unless in going hence—but I’ll not think of that; all’s fated.”

“Nothing, Pierre; unless in leaving here—but I won’t think about that; everything is destined.”

“Delly! where is she? Let us go in for her,” said Pierre, catching the hand of Isabel, and turning rapidly. As he thus half dragged her into the little lighted entry, and then dropping her hand, placed his touch on the catch of the inner door, Isabel stayed his arm, as if to keep him back, till she should forewarn him against something concerning Delly; but suddenly she started herself; and for one instant, eagerly pointing at his right hand, seemed almost to half shrink from Pierre.

“Delly! Where is she? Let's go find her,” said Pierre, grabbing Isabel's hand and turning quickly. As he kind of pulled her into the small lit entryway and then let go of her hand, he reached for the catch of the inner door. Isabel held his arm as if to stop him, wanting to warn him about something related to Delly. But then she suddenly gasped and, for a moment, pointed at his right hand, looking as if she almost wanted to back away from Pierre.

“’Tis nothing. I am not hurt; a slight burn—the merest accidental scorch this morning. But what’s this?” he added, lifting his hand higher; “smoke! soot! this comes of going in the dark; sunlight, and I had seen it. But I have not touched thee, Isabel?”

“It's nothing. I’m not hurt; just a little burn—the tiniest accidental scorch from this morning. But what’s this?” he continued, raising his hand higher; “smoke! soot! This is what happens when you go in the dark; if it had been sunny, I would have seen it. But I haven’t touched you, Isabel?”

Isabel lifted her hand and showed the marks.—“But it came from thee, my brother; and I would catch the plague from thee, so that it should make me share thee. Do thou clean thy hand; let mine alone.”

Isabel lifted her hand and showed the marks. “But it came from you, my brother; and I would catch the plague from you so that I could share in your pain. You clean your hand; let mine be.”

“Delly! Delly!”—cried Pierre—“why may I not go to her, to bring her forth?”

“Delly! Delly!” Pierre shouted. “Why can’t I go to her and bring her out?”

Placing her finger upon her lip, Isabel softly opened the door, and showed the object of his inquiry avertedly seated, muffled, on a chair.

Placing her finger on her lip, Isabel quietly opened the door and revealed the subject of his inquiry, sitting sideways and wrapped up on a chair.

“Do not speak to her, my brother,” whispered Isabel, “and do not seek to behold her face, as yet. It will pass over now, ere long, I trust. Come, shall we go now? Take Delly forth, but do not speak to her. I have bidden all good-by; the old people are in yonder room in the rear; I am glad that they chose not to come out, to attend our going forth. Come now, be very quick, Pierre; this is an hour I like not; be it swiftly past.”

“Don’t talk to her, my brother,” Isabel whispered, “and don’t try to look at her face just yet. I hope this will be over soon. Come on, should we go now? Take Delly outside, but don’t say anything to her. I’ve said my goodbyes; the old folks are in that room at the back, and I’m glad they chose not to come out to see us leave. Come on, hurry up, Pierre; I don’t like this hour; let it pass quickly.”

Soon all three alighted at the inn. Ordering lights, Pierre led the way above-stairs, and ushered his two companions into one of the two outermost rooms of the three adjoining chambers prepared for all.

Soon all three got out at the inn. After ordering some lights, Pierre led the way upstairs and showed his two companions into one of the two outermost rooms of the three adjacent chambers that had been prepared for all.

“See,” said he, to the mute and still self-averting figure of Delly;—“see, this is thy room, Miss Ulver; Isabel has told thee all; thou know’st our till now secret marriage; she will stay with thee now, till I return from a little business down the street. To-morrow, thou know’st, very early, we take the stage. I may not see thee again till then, so, be steadfast, and cheer up a very little, Miss Ulver, and good-night. All will be well.”

“Look,” he said to the quiet, turned-away figure of Delly, “this is your room, Miss Ulver; Isabel has told you everything; you know about our previously secret marriage. She will stay with you now until I get back from a little errand down the street. Tomorrow, as you know, we leave very early to catch the stage. I might not see you again until then, so hang in there, try to cheer up a bit, Miss Ulver, and goodnight. Everything will be okay.”


II.

NEXT morning, by break of day, at four o’clock, the four swift hours were personified in four impatient horses, which shook their trappings beneath the windows of the inn. Three figures emerged into the cool dim air and took their places in the coach.

NEXT morning, at daybreak, at four o’clock, the four quick hours were represented by four eager horses, which shook their gear beneath the inn's windows. Three figures stepped out into the cool, dim air and took their seats in the coach.

The old landlord had silently and despondently shaken Pierre by the hand; the vainglorious driver was on his box, threadingly adjusting the four reins among the fingers of his buck-skin gloves; the usual thin company of admiring ostlers and other early on-lookers were gathered about the porch; when—on his companions’ account—all eager to cut short any vain delay, at such a painful crisis, Pierre impetuously shouted for the coach to move. In a moment, the four meadow-fed young horses leaped forward their own generous lengths, and the four responsive wheels rolled their complete circles; while making vast rearward flourishes with his whip, the elated driver seemed as a bravado-hero signing his ostentatious farewell signature in the empty air. And so, in the dim of the dawn—and to the defiant crackings of that long and sharp-resounding whip, the three forever fled the sweet fields of Saddle Meadows.

The old landlord silently and sadly shook Pierre's hand; the boastful driver was on his box, carefully adjusting the four reins between his buckskin gloves; the usual small group of admiring stable hands and other early onlookers gathered around the porch; when—considering his companions—eager to cut short any pointless delay at such a tough moment, Pierre impulsively shouted for the coach to move. In an instant, the four well-fed young horses sprang forward, and the four wheels rolled fully. As he made grand flourishes with his whip, the proud driver seemed like a show-off hero leaving his flashy signature in the air. And so, in the early dawn—and to the sharp crack of that resounding whip, the three left behind the lovely fields of Saddle Meadows forever.

The short old landlord gazed after the coach awhile, and then re-entering the inn, stroked his gray beard and muttered to himself:—“I have kept this house, now, three-and-thirty years, and have had plenty of bridal-parties come and go; in their long train of wagons, break-downs, buggies, gigs—a gay and giggling train—Ha!—there’s a pun! popt out like a cork—ay, and once in ox-carts, all garlanded; ay, and once, the merry bride was bedded on a load of sweet-scented new-cut clover. But such a bridal-party as this morning’s—why, it’s as sad as funerals. And brave Master Pierre Glendinning is the groom! Well, well, wonders is all the go. I thought I had done with wondering when I passed fifty; but I keep wondering still. Ah, somehow, now, I feel as though I had just come from lowering some old friend beneath the sod, and yet felt the grating cord-marks in my palms.—’Tis early, but I’ll drink. Let’s see; cider,—a mug of cider;—’tis sharp, and pricks like a game-cock’s spur,—cider’s the drink for grief. Oh, Lord! that fat men should be so thin-skinned, and suffer in pure sympathy on others’ account. A thin-skinned, thin man, he don’t suffer so, because there ain’t so much stuff in him for his thin skin to cover. Well, well, well, well, well; of all colics, save me from the melloncholics; green melons is the greenest thing!”

The short old landlord watched the coach for a while, and then, going back into the inn, stroked his gray beard and muttered to himself: “I’ve run this place for thirty-three years now, and I’ve seen plenty of bridal parties come and go; in their long procession of wagons, breakdowns, buggies, and gigs—a cheerful and giggling parade—Ha! There’s a pun! Pops out like a cork—yeah, and once in ox-carts, all decorated; and one time, the happy bride was laid on a load of sweet-smelling freshly cut clover. But a bridal party like this morning’s—well, it’s as gloomy as funerals. And brave Master Pierre Glendinning is the groom! Well, well, wonders never cease. I thought I’d stop being surprised when I hit fifty; but here I am, still wondering. Ah, somehow, I feel like I just buried an old friend and can still feel the rough cord marks on my palms. It’s early, but I’ll have a drink. Let’s see; cider—a mug of cider; it’s sharp and stings like a gamecock’s spur—cider’s the drink for sorrow. Oh, Lord! Why do fat men have to be so sensitive and feel sympathy for others’ troubles? A thin-skinned skinny guy doesn’t suffer as much because there’s not much there for his thin skin to cover. Well, well, well, well; of all the ailments, keep me away from the melancholics; green melons are the greenest thing!”

BOOK XIV.
THE JOURNEY AND THE PAMPHLET.

I.

ALL profound things, and emotions of things are preceded and attended by Silence. What a silence is that with which the pale bride precedes the responsive I will, to the priest’s solemn question, Wilt thou have this man for thy husband? In silence, too, the wedded hands are clasped. Yea, in silence the child Christ was born into the world. Silence is the general consecration of the universe. Silence is the invisible laying on of the Divine Pontiff’s hands upon the world. Silence is at once the most harmless and the most awful thing in all nature. It speaks of the Reserved Forces of Fate. Silence is the only Voice of our God.

ALL profound things and the emotions tied to them are surrounded by Silence. What a silence it is when the pale bride waits for the responsive I will to the priest’s solemn question, Will you take this man to be your husband? In silence, too, the joined hands of the couple are clasped. Yes, in silence, the child Christ entered the world. Silence is the universal consecration of existence. Silence is the invisible touch of the Divine Pontiff’s hands upon the world. Silence is at once the most harmless and the most terrifying thing in nature. It signifies the Reserved Forces of Fate. Silence is the only Voice of our God.

Nor is this so august Silence confined to things simply touching or grand. Like the air, Silence permeates all things, and produces its magical power, as well during that peculiar mood which prevails at a solitary traveler’s first setting forth on a journey, as at the unimaginable time when before the world was, Silence brooded on the face of the waters.

Nor is this profound Silence limited to just significant or grand things. Like the air, Silence fills everything and creates its magical effect, both during the unique moment when a solitary traveler first sets out on a journey and at that unimaginable time when, before the world existed, Silence lingered over the face of the waters.

No word was spoken by its inmates, as the coach bearing our young Enthusiast, Pierre, and his mournful party, sped forth through the dim dawn into the deep midnight, which still occupied, unrepulsed, the hearts of the old woods through which the road wound, very shortly after quitting the village.

No one said a word as the coach carrying our young Enthusiast, Pierre, and his sad group moved swiftly through the dim dawn into the deep night, which still lingered, unchanged, in the hearts of the ancient woods along the winding road shortly after leaving the village.

When first entering the coach, Pierre had pressed his hand upon the cushioned seat to steady his way, some crumpled leaves of paper had met his fingers. He had instinctively clutched them; and the same strange clutching mood of his soul which had prompted that instinctive act, did also prevail in causing him now to retain the crumpled paper in his hand for an hour or more of that wonderful intense silence, which the rapid coach bore through the heart of the general stirless morning silence of the fields and the woods.

When Pierre first got into the coach, he pressed his hand on the soft seat to steady himself and felt some crumpled pieces of paper. He instinctively grabbed them, and the same unusual urge that made him do that also kept him holding onto the crumpled paper for over an hour during the amazing, deep quiet that the fast coach cut through in the stillness of the morning fields and woods.

His thoughts were very dark and wild; for a space there was rebellion and horrid anarchy and infidelity in his soul. This temporary mood may best be likened to that, which—according to a singular story once told in the pulpit by a reverend man of God—invaded the heart of an excellent priest. In the midst of a solemn cathedral, upon a cloudy Sunday afternoon, this priest was in the act of publicly administering the bread at the Holy Sacrament of the Supper, when the Evil One suddenly propounded to him the possibility of the mere moonshine of the Christian Religion. Just such now was the mood of Pierre; to him the Evil One propounded the possibility of the mere moonshine of all his self-renouncing Enthusiasm. The Evil One hooted at him, and called him a fool. But by instant and earnest prayer—closing his two eyes, with his two hands still holding the sacramental bread—the devout priest had vanquished the impious Devil. Not so with Pierre. The imperishable monument of his holy Catholic Church; the imperishable record of his Holy Bible; the imperishable intuition of the innate truth of Christianity;—these were the indestructible anchors which still held the priest to his firm Faith’s rock, when the sudden storm raised by the Evil One assailed him. But Pierre—where could he find the Church, the monument, the Bible, which unequivocally said to him—“Go on; thou art in the Right; I endorse thee all over; go on.”—So the difference between the Priest and Pierre was herein:—with the priest it was a matter, whether certain bodiless thoughts of his were true or not true; but with Pierre it was a question whether certain vital acts of his were right or wrong. In this little nut lie germ-like the possible solution of some puzzling problems; and also the discovery of additional, and still more profound problems ensuing upon the solution of the former. For so true is this last, that some men refuse to solve any present problem, for fear of making still more work for themselves in that way.

His thoughts were very dark and chaotic; for a while, he felt rebellion, horrible chaos, and doubt deep within him. This temporary feeling is best compared to what—according to a unique story once shared in a sermon by a respected man of faith—overwhelmed a dedicated priest. In the middle of a solemn cathedral on a cloudy Sunday afternoon, this priest was about to serve the bread at the Holy Communion when the Devil suddenly suggested to him the idea that the Christian faith was nothing more than an illusion. Just like that was Pierre’s mood; to him, the Devil proposed that all his selfless enthusiasm was just an empty illusion. The Devil mocked him and called him a fool. But with sincere and immediate prayer—his eyes closed and his hands still holding the sacramental bread—the devout priest had defeated the wicked Devil. Not the same for Pierre. The enduring monument of his holy Catholic Church; the lasting record of his Holy Bible; the unending intuition of the inherent truth of Christianity—these were the solid foundations that kept the priest anchored to his faith when the sudden storm stirred up by the Devil attacked him. But Pierre—where could he find the Church, the monument, the Bible that clearly told him—“Keep going; you are right; I support you fully; keep going.” So, the difference between the Priest and Pierre was this: for the priest, it was a matter of whether certain abstract thoughts he had were true or not; but for Pierre, it was a question of whether his vital actions were right or wrong. Within this small kernel lies the potential solution to some confusing problems, as well as the discovery of new, even deeper problems that arise from solving the former. So true is this last point that some people avoid solving any current problem, fearing it will only lead to even more work for themselves.

Now, Pierre thought of the magical, mournful letter of Isabel, he recalled the divine inspiration of that hour when the heroic words burst from his heart—“Comfort thee, and stand by thee, and fight for thee, will thy leapingly-acknowledging brother!” These remembrances unfurled themselves in proud exultations in his soul; and from before such glorious banners of Virtue, the club-footed Evil One limped away in dismay. But now the dread, fateful parting look of his mother came over him; anew he heard the heart-proscribing words—“Beneath my roof and at my table, he who was once Pierre Glendinning no more puts himself;”—swooning in her snow-white bed, the lifeless Lucy lay before him, wrapt as in the reverberating echoings of her own agonizing shriek: “My heart! my heart!” Then how swift the recurrence to Isabel, and the nameless awfulness of his still imperfectly conscious, incipient, new-mingled emotion toward this mysterious being. “Lo! I leave corpses wherever I go!” groaned Pierre to himself—“Can then my conduct be right? Lo! by my conduct I seem threatened by the possibility of a sin anomalous and accursed, so anomalous, it may well be the one for which Scripture says, there is never forgiveness. Corpses behind me, and the last sin before, how then can my conduct be right?”

Now, Pierre thought about the magical, sorrowful letter from Isabel. He remembered the divine inspiration of that moment when the heroic words burst from his heart—“I will comfort you, stand by you, and fight for you, your ever-acknowledging brother!” These memories filled him with proud joy, and before such glorious banners of Virtue, the club-footed Evil One limped away in fear. But now the frightening parting look from his mother came back to him; he heard again the heart-wrenching words—“Under my roof and at my table, he who was once Pierre Glendinning will no longer position himself;”—swooning in her snow-white bed, lifeless Lucy lay before him, wrapped in the haunting echo of her own agonizing screech: “My heart! my heart!” Then came the swift return to Isabel and the indescribable heaviness of his still unclear, mixed feelings toward this mysterious person. “Look! I leave corpses wherever I go!” Pierre groaned to himself—“Can my actions really be right? It seems that by my actions, I’m threatened by the possibility of a sin so unusual and cursed that it might be the very one for which Scripture says there is never forgiveness. Corpses behind me, and the last sin ahead, how can my actions be right?”

In this mood, the silence accompanied him, and the first visible rays of the morning sun in this same mood found him and saluted him. The excitement and the sleepless night just passed, and the strange narcotic of a quiet, steady anguish, and the sweet quiescence of the air, and the monotonous cradle-like motion of the coach over a road made firm and smooth by a refreshing shower over night; these had wrought their wonted effect upon Isabel and Delly; with hidden faces they leaned fast asleep in Pierre’s sight. Fast asleep—thus unconscious, oh sweet Isabel, oh forlorn Delly, your swift destinies I bear in my own!

In this mood, the silence surrounded him, and the first visible rays of the morning sun in this same mood found him and greeted him. The excitement and the sleepless night had just passed, and the strange sedative of a quiet, steady pain, the gentle calmness of the air, and the rhythmic, rocking motion of the coach over a road made firm and smooth by a refreshing rain overnight; these had their usual effect on Isabel and Delly; with hidden faces, they leaned fast asleep in Pierre’s sight. Fast asleep—thus unaware, oh sweet Isabel, oh abandoned Delly, your swift fates I carry in my own!

Suddenly, as his sad eye fell lower and lower from scanning their magically quiescent persons, his glance lit upon his own clutched hand, which rested on his knee. Some paper protruded from that clutch. He knew not how it had got there, or whence it had come, though himself had closed his own gripe upon it. He lifted his hand and slowly unfingered and unbolted the paper, and unrolled it, and carefully smoothed it, to see what it might be.

Suddenly, as his sad gaze dropped lower from looking at their quietly peaceful faces, he noticed his own clenched hand resting on his knee. Some paper stuck out from that grip. He didn't know how it had gotten there or where it came from, even though he had closed his hand around it. He lifted his hand and slowly opened up the paper, unrolling it and carefully smoothing it out to see what it was.

It was a thin, tattered, dried-fish-like thing; printed with blurred ink upon mean, sleazy paper. It seemed the opening pages of some ruinous old pamphlet—a pamphlet containing a chapter or so of some very voluminous disquisition. The conclusion was gone. It must have been accidentally left there by some previous traveler, who perhaps in drawing out his handkerchief, had ignorantly extracted his waste paper.

It was a thin, worn-out piece of paper that looked like dried fish; printed with smudged ink on cheap, flimsy paper. It seemed like the first pages of some old, falling-apart pamphlet—a pamphlet featuring a chapter or two from a much longer discussion. The ending was missing. It must have been left behind by some earlier traveler who likely pulled out their handkerchief and accidentally grabbed this scrap of paper instead.

There is a singular infatuation in most men, which leads them in odd moments, intermitting between their regular occupations, and when they find themselves all alone in some quiet corner or nook, to fasten with unaccountable fondness upon the merest rag of old printed paper—some shred of a long-exploded advertisement perhaps—and read it, and study it, and reread it, and pore over it, and fairly agonize themselves over this miserable, sleazy paper-rag, which at any other time, or in any other place, they would hardly touch with St. Dunstan’s long tongs. So now, in a degree, with Pierre. But notwithstanding that he, with most other human beings, shared in the strange hallucination above mentioned, yet the first glimpse of the title of the dried-fish-like, pamphlet-shaped rag, did almost tempt him to pitch it out of the window. For, be a man’s mood what it may, what sensible and ordinary mortal could have patience for any considerable period, to knowingly hold in his conscious hand a printed document (and that too a very blurred one as to ink, and a very sleazy one as to paper), so metaphysically and insufferably entitled as this:—“Chronometricals & Horologicals?”

There’s a strange obsession that many men have, which sometimes leads them, in odd moments between their usual activities, to find themselves alone in a quiet corner and get inexplicably attached to a flimsy piece of old printed paper—maybe a scrap of a long-forgotten advertisement. They read it, study it, reread it, and obsess over this pathetic, flimsy paper that under normal circumstances, they wouldn’t even touch with a long pair of tongs. Pierre experienced something similar. However, despite sharing this weird fascination with other humans, the moment he caught sight of the title of the scrap of paper, which looked like a dried fish and was pamphlet-shaped, he almost threw it out the window. Because no matter what mood a man is in, what sensible person could bear to hold onto a printed document (especially one that’s both faded in ink and cheap in paper) with such a pretentious and unbearable title: “Chronometricals & Horologicals?”

Doubtless, it was something vastly profound; but it is to be observed, that when a man is in a really profound mood, then all merely verbal or written profundities are unspeakably repulsive, and seem downright childish to him. Nevertheless, the silence still continued; the road ran through an almost unplowed and uninhabited region; the slumberers still slumbered before him; the evil mood was becoming well nigh insupportable to him; so, more to force his mind away from the dark realities of things than from any other motive, Pierre finally tried his best to plunge himself into the pamphlet.

No doubt, it was something really deep; but it’s worth noting that when a person is in a truly deep mood, all the verbal or written depths are incredibly annoying and seem outright childish to them. Still, the silence persisted; the road passed through an almost untended and uninhabited area; the sleepers still slept in front of him; the bad mood was becoming almost unbearable for him; so, more to distract his mind from the harsh realities than for any other reason, Pierre finally did his best to immerse himself in the pamphlet.


II.

SOONER or later in this life, the earnest, or enthusiastic youth comes to know, and more or less appreciate this startling solecism:—That while, as the grand condition of acceptance to God, Christianity calls upon all men to renounce this world; yet by all odds the most Mammonish part of this world—Europe and America—are owned by none but professed Christian nations, who glory in the owning, and seem to have some reason therefor.

SOONER or later in life, the passionate or enthusiastic young person comes to recognize and somewhat appreciate this surprising contradiction:—That while Christianity urges everyone to give up this world as a key requirement for acceptance by God, the parts of this world that are the most focused on wealth—Europe and America—are owned solely by professed Christian nations, who take pride in their ownership and seem to have some justification for it.

This solecism once vividly and practically apparent; then comes the earnest reperusal of the Gospels: the intense self-absorption into that greatest real miracle of all religions, the Sermon on the Mount. From that divine mount, to all earnest loving youths, flows an inexhaustible soul-melting stream of tenderness and loving-kindness; and they leap exulting to their feet, to think that the founder of their holy religion gave utterance to sentences so infinitely sweet and soothing as these sentences which embody all the love of the Past, and all the love which can be imagined in any conceivable Future. Such emotions as that Sermon raises in the enthusiastic heart; such emotions all youthful hearts refuse to ascribe to humanity as their origin. This is of God! cries the heart, and in that cry ceases all inquisition. Now, with this fresh-read sermon in his soul, the youth again gazes abroad upon the world. Instantly, in aggravation of the former solecism, an overpowering sense of the world’s downright positive falsity comes over him; the world seems to lie saturated and soaking with lies. The sense of this thing is so overpowering, that at first the youth is apt to refuse the evidence of his own senses; even as he does that same evidence in the matter of the movement of the visible sun in the heavens, which with his own eyes he plainly sees to go round the world, but nevertheless on the authority of other persons,—the Copernican astronomers, whom he never saw—he believes it not to go round the world, but the world round it. Just so, too, he hears good and wise people sincerely say: This world only seems to be saturated and soaking with lies; but in reality it does not so lie soaking and saturate; along with some lies, there is much truth in this world. But again he refers to his Bible, and there he reads most explicitly, that this world is unconditionally depraved and accursed; and that at all hazards men must come out of it. But why come out of it, if it be a True World and not a Lying World? Assuredly, then, this world is a lie.

This mistake was once clear and obvious; then came the serious re-reading of the Gospels: the deep self-reflection into that greatest real miracle of all religions, the Sermon on the Mount. From that divine hill, to all earnest young people, flows an endless stream of compassion and kindness; and they spring up joyfully, thinking that the founder of their holy religion spoke words so infinitely sweet and soothing as those that capture all the love of the past and all that can be imagined in any future. The feelings that this Sermon evokes in an enthusiastic heart are such that all young hearts refuse to attribute them to humanity as their source. "This is from God!" cries the heart, and in that cry, all questioning stops. Now, with this freshly read sermon in his soul, the young person again looks out at the world. Immediately, amplifying the earlier mistake, an overwhelming sense of the world’s blatant falsehood washes over him; the world seems to be drenched in lies. The strength of this realization is so intense that at first, the youth is inclined to doubt his own senses; just like he doubts the evidence of the sun moving in the sky, which he sees going around the world, but nonetheless believes based on what others—Copernican astronomers he has never met—say, that it’s not the sun moving around the world, but the world moving around it. Similarly, he hears good and wise people sincerely say: This world only seems to be full of lies; but in reality, it isn't so soaked in falsehood; alongside some lies, there's a lot of truth in this world. But again he turns to his Bible, where he reads clearly that this world is utterly depraved and cursed; and that at all costs, people must come out of it. But why leave it if it is a True World and not a Lying World? Therefore, this world must indeed be a lie.

Hereupon then in the soul of the enthusiast youth two armies come to the shock; and unless he prove recreant, or unless he prove gullible, or unless he can find the talismanic secret, to reconcile this world with his own soul, then there is no peace for him, no slightest truce for him in this life. Now without doubt this Talismanic Secret has never yet been found; and in the nature of human things it seems as though it never can be. Certain philosophers have time and again pretended to have found it; but if they do not in the end discover their own delusion, other people soon discover it for themselves, and so those philosophers and their vain philosophy are let glide away into practical oblivion. Plato, and Spinoza, and Goethe, and many more belong to this guild of self-impostors, with a preposterous rabble of Muggletonian Scots and Yankees, whose vile brogue still the more bestreaks the stripedness of their Greek or German Neoplatonical originals. That profound Silence, that only Voice of our God, which I before spoke of; from that divine thing without a name, those impostor philosophers pretend somehow to have got an answer; which is as absurd, as though they should say they had got water out of stone; for how can a man get a Voice out of Silence?

In the heart of the passionate young person, two opposing forces clash; and unless he backs down, or unless he falls for deception, or unless he can uncover the magical secret to align this world with his own spirit, then he will find no peace, no hint of a truce in this life. Clearly, this Magical Secret has never been discovered, and it seems that, by the nature of humanity, it might never be. Certain philosophers have repeatedly claimed to have found it; but if they don’t eventually realize their own mistake, others quickly see through it, and those philosophers along with their empty theories fade into practical oblivion. Plato, Spinoza, Goethe, and many others belong to this group of self-deceivers, along with a ridiculous mix of Muggletonian Scots and Americans, whose heavy accents only further distort the clarity of their Greek or German Neoplatonist influences. That profound Silence, that only voice of our God that I mentioned before; from that unnamed divine essence, these fake philosophers claim to have received an answer, which is as ridiculous as saying they’ve drawn water from stone; for how can one extract a Voice from Silence?

Certainly, all must admit, that if for any one this problem of the possible reconcilement of this world with our own souls possessed a peculiar and potential interest, that one was Pierre Glendinning at the period we now write of. For in obedience to the loftiest behest of his soul, he had done certain vital acts, which had already lost him his worldly felicity, and which he felt must in the end indirectly work him some still additional and not-to-be-thought-of woe.

Certainly, everyone has to agree that if there was someone for whom the challenge of reconciling this world with our own souls held a unique and significant interest, it was Pierre Glendinning during the time we’re discussing. Because, following the highest call of his soul, he had taken certain essential actions that had already cost him his happiness in the world, and he sensed that ultimately, they would bring him even more unimaginable pain.

Soon then, as after his first distaste at the mystical title, and after his then reading on, merely to drown himself, Pierre at last began to obtain a glimmering into the profound intent of the writer of the sleazy rag pamphlet, he felt a great interest awakened in him. The more he read and re-read, the more this interest deepened, but still the more likewise did his failure to comprehend the writer increase. He seemed somehow to derive some general vague inkling concerning it, but the central conceit refused to become clear to him. The reason whereof is not so easy to be laid down; seeing that the reason-originating heart and mind of man, these organic things themselves are not so easily to be expounded. Something, however, more or less to the point, may be adventured here.

Soon after his initial dislike for the mystical title, and after continuing to read just to escape, Pierre began to gain some insight into the deeper meaning behind the writer of the sleazy pamphlet. He felt a growing interest within himself. The more he read and re-read, the deeper this interest became, but at the same time, his inability to fully understand the writer grew. He seemed to have a vague, general sense of it, but the main idea remained unclear to him. The reason for this isn’t easy to explain; after all, the complex emotional and mental processes of humans are not straightforward to articulate. However, something relevant may still be explored here.

If a man be in any vague latent doubt about the intrinsic correctness and excellence of his general life-theory and practical course of life; then, if that man chance to light on any other man, or any little treatise, or sermon, which unintendingly, as it were, yet very palpably illustrates to him the intrinsic incorrectness and non-excellence of both the theory and the practice of his life; then that man will—more or less unconsciously—try hard to hold himself back from the self-admitted comprehension of a matter which thus condemns him. For in this case, to comprehend, is himself to condemn himself, which is always highly inconvenient and uncomfortable to a man. Again. If a man be told a thing wholly new, then—during the time of its first announcement to him—it is entirely impossible for him to comprehend it. For—absurd as it may seem—men are only made to comprehend things which they comprehended before (though but in the embryo, as it were). Things new it is impossible to make them comprehend, by merely talking to them about it. True, sometimes they pretend to comprehend; in their own hearts they really believe they do comprehend; outwardly look as though they did comprehend; wag their bushy tails comprehendingly; but for all that, they do not comprehend. Possibly, they may afterward come, of themselves, to inhale this new idea from the circumambient air, and so come to comprehend it; but not otherwise at all. It will be observed, that, neither points of the above speculations do we, in set terms, attribute to Pierre in connection with the rag pamphlet. Possibly both might be applicable; possibly neither. Certain it is, however, that at the time, in his own heart, he seemed to think that he did not fully comprehend the strange writer’s conceit in all its bearings. Yet was this conceit apparently one of the plainest in the world; so natural, a child might almost have originated it. Nevertheless, again so profound, that scarce Juggularius himself could be the author; and still again so exceedingly trivial, that Juggularius’ smallest child might well have been ashamed of it.

If a man is in any vague, lingering doubt about the inherent correctness and value of his overall life philosophy and choices; then, if that man happens to encounter another man, or a small treatise, or a sermon that unintentionally but clearly shows him the fundamental flaws and shortcomings in both the theory and practice of his life; then that man will—more or less unconsciously—try hard to avoid fully understanding something that condemns him. In this case, to understand is to condemn himself, which is always quite uncomfortable for a person. On the other hand, if a man is told something completely new, then—at the moment it’s first presented to him—it’s impossible for him to understand it. For—absurd as it might seem—people can only grasp things they’ve encountered before (even if just in a very basic form). It’s impossible to make them understand new ideas just by talking about them. True, sometimes they pretend to grasp it; deep down they might believe they do understand; they might even appear as if they do comprehend; nodding along knowingly; but despite all that, they do not understand. They might eventually come to pick up this new idea from their surroundings and thus come to understand it; but not otherwise. It’s important to note that we don’t specifically attribute any of the above ideas to Pierre in connection with the rag pamphlet. Both might apply; or neither. What is certain, however, is that at that moment, he seemed to feel that he didn’t fully understand the strange writer’s idea in all its aspects. Yet, this idea seemed to be one of the simplest in the world; so natural that even a child could have come up with it. Still, it was also so profound that hardly even Juggularius himself could be its author; and yet again, it was so trivial that even Juggularius’ youngest child might have been embarrassed by it.

Seeing then that this curious paper rag so puzzled Pierre; foreseeing, too, that Pierre may not in the end be entirely uninfluenced in his conduct by the torn pamphlet, when afterwards perhaps by other means he shall come to understand it; or, peradventure, come to know that he, in the first place, did—seeing too that the author thereof came to be made known to him by reputation, and though Pierre never spoke to him, yet exerted a surprising sorcery upon his spirit by the mere distant glimpse of his countenance;—all these reasons I account sufficient apology for inserting in the following chapters the initial part of what seems to me a very fanciful and mystical, rather than philosophical Lecture, from which, I confess, that I myself can derive no conclusion which permanently satisfies those peculiar motions in my soul, to which that Lecture seems more particularly addressed. For to me it seems more the excellently illustrated re-statement of a problem, than the solution of the problem itself. But as such mere illustrations are almost universally taken for solutions (and perhaps they are the only possible human solutions), therefore it may help to the temporary quiet of some inquiring mind; and so not be wholly without use. At the worst, each person can now skip, or read and rail for himself.

Seeing that this strange piece of paper puzzled Pierre so much; and knowing that Pierre might ultimately be influenced in his actions by the torn pamphlet, especially when he eventually tries to understand it by other means; or perhaps realizes that he actually did understand it from the start—considering too that the author became known to him by reputation, and though Pierre never spoke to him, the mere distant glimpse of his face had a surprising effect on his spirit—these are all strong enough reasons for me to include in the following chapters the initial part of what seems to be a very imaginative and mystical, rather than philosophical, lecture. Honestly, I can’t draw any conclusions from it that completely satisfy the unique stirrings in my soul that the lecture seems particularly aimed at. To me, it appears more like a beautifully illustrated restatement of a problem rather than the solution to it. However, since such illustrations are often mistaken for solutions (and they might be the only kinds of solutions we humans can come up with), it may bring temporary peace to some curious minds, and thus have some value. At the very least, each person can choose to skip it, or read and complain on their own.


III.

EI,”

AI,”

BY
PLOTINUS PLINLIMMON,

BY
PLOTINUS PLINLIMMON,

(In Three Hundred and Thirty-three Lectures.)

(In Three Hundred and Thirty-three Lectures.)

LECTURE FIRST.

C H R O N O M E T R I C A L S  A N D  H O R O L O G I C A L S,

LECTURE ONE.

TIME MEASUREMENT AND CLOCKS,

(Being not to much the Portal, as part of the temporary Scaffold to the Portal of this new Philosophy.)

(Being not so much the Portal, as part of the temporary Scaffold to the Portal of this new Philosophy.)

“FEW of us doubt, gentlemen, that human life on this earth is but a state of probation; which among other things implies, that here below, we mortals have only to do with things provisional. Accordingly, I hold that all our so-called wisdom is likewise but provisional.

“FEW of us doubt, gentlemen, that human life on this earth is just a trial period; which, among other things, means that down here, we mortals only deal with temporary things. Therefore, I believe that all our so-called wisdom is also just temporary.”

“This preamble laid down, I begin.

"Having established this introduction, I begin."

“It seems to me, in my visions, that there is a certain most rare order of human souls, which if carefully carried in the body will almost always and everywhere give Heaven’s own Truth, with some small grains of variance. For peculiarly coming from God, the sole source of that heavenly truth, and the great Greenwich hill and tower from which the universal meridians are far out into infinity reckoned; such souls seem as London sea-chronometers (Greek, time-namers) which as the London ship floats past Greenwich down the Thames, are accurately adjusted by Greenwich time, and if heedfully kept, will still give that same time, even though carried to the Azores. True, in nearly all cases of long, remote voyages—to China, say—chronometers of the best make, and the most carefully treated, will gradually more or less vary from Greenwich time, without the possibility of the error being corrected by direct comparison with their great standard; but skillful and devout observations of the stars by the sextant will serve materially to lessen such errors. And besides, there is such a thing as rating a chronometer; that is, having ascertained its degree of organic inaccuracy, however small, then in all subsequent chronometrical calculations, that ascertained loss or gain can be readily added or deducted, as the case may be. Then again, on these long voyages, the chronometer may be corrected by comparing it with the chronometer of some other ship at sea, more recently from home.

“It seems to me, in my visions, that there is a rare order of human souls that, if properly nurtured within the body, will almost always provide the purest Truth from Heaven, with only minor differences. These souls originate from God, the ultimate source of that celestial truth, much like the great hill and tower at Greenwich, which serve as the reference point for all universal meridians stretching out into infinity; they resemble London sea-chronometers (Greek, time-namers) that, as the London ship passes Greenwich down the Thames, are perfectly calibrated to Greenwich time. If carefully maintained, they will continue to provide that same time even if taken to the Azores. It’s true that in most cases of long journeys—say to China—chronometers, even the best quality ones, can gradually drift away from Greenwich time without the chance to fix the error through direct comparison with their main reference point. However, skilled and dedicated astronomical observations using a sextant can significantly reduce those discrepancies. Additionally, there’s a method called rating a chronometer, which means that once you determine its degree of inaccuracy, regardless of how small, you can apply that correction in all future time calculations, adding or subtracting as necessary. Furthermore, during these long voyages, the chronometer can be adjusted by comparing it to the chronometer of another ship at sea, one that has recently departed from home.”

“Now in an artificial world like ours, the soul of man is further removed from its God and the Heavenly Truth, than the chronometer carried to China, is from Greenwich. And, as that chronometer, if at all accurate, will pronounce it to be 12 o’clock high-noon, when the China local watches say, perhaps, it is 12 o’clock midnight; so the chronometric soul, if in this world true to its great Greenwich in the other, will always, in its so-called intuitions of right and wrong, be contradicting the mere local standards and watch-maker’s brains of this earth.

“Now in an artificial world like ours, the human soul is even more disconnected from God and Heavenly Truth than a chronometer taken to China is from Greenwich. Just as that chronometer, if it’s accurate, will indicate it’s 12 o’clock high noon when the local watches in China might say it’s 12 o’clock midnight; the chronometric soul, if it remains true to its greater Greenwich in the next life, will always, in its so-called intuitions of right and wrong, contradict the mere local standards and watchmaker’s thinking of this world."

“Bacon’s brains were mere watch-maker’s brains; but Christ was a chronometer; and the most exquisitely adjusted and exact one, and the least affected by all terrestrial jarrings, of any that have ever come to us. And the reason why his teachings seemed folly to the Jews, was because he carried that Heaven’s time in Jerusalem, while the Jews carried Jerusalem time there. Did he not expressly say—My wisdom (time) is not of this world? But whatever is really peculiar in the wisdom of Christ seems precisely the same folly to-day as it did 1850 years ago. Because, in all that interval his bequeathed chronometer has still preserved its original Heaven’s time, and the general Jerusalem of this world has likewise carefully preserved its own.

"Bacon’s intellect was just mechanical; but Christ was a top-of-the-line timepiece—perfectly calibrated and precise, and the least disturbed by any worldly chaos of all that have ever existed. The reason his teachings sounded foolish to the Jews was that he operated on a divine schedule in Jerusalem, while the Jews operated on local time. Didn’t he say—My wisdom (time) is not from this world? Yet, what is uniquely remarkable about Christ’s wisdom seems just as foolish today as it did 1850 years ago. Because, all this time, the chronometer he left behind has maintained its original divine timeframe, while the general state of the world has kept its own."

“But though the chronometer carried from Greenwich to China, should truly exhibit in China what the time may be at Greenwich at any moment; yet, though thereby it must necessarily contradict China time, it does by no means thence follow, that with respect to China, the China watches are at all out of the way. Precisely the reverse. For the fact of that variance is a presumption that, with respect to China, the Chinese watches must be all right; and consequently as the China watches are right as to China, so the Greenwich chronometers must be wrong as to China. Besides, of what use to the Chinaman would a Greenwich chronometer, keeping Greenwich time, be? Were he thereby to regulate his daily actions, he would be guilty of all manner of absurdities:—going to bed at noon, say, when his neighbors would be sitting down to dinner. And thus, though the earthly wisdom of man be heavenly folly to God; so also, conversely, is the heavenly wisdom of God an earthly folly to man. Literally speaking, this is so. Nor does the God at the heavenly Greenwich expect common men to keep Greenwich wisdom in this remote Chinese world of ours; because such a thing were unprofitable for them here, and, indeed, a falsification of Himself, inasmuch as in that case, China time would be identical with Greenwich time, which would make Greenwich time wrong.

"But even though the chronometer brought from Greenwich to China should accurately show what time it is at Greenwich at any moment, it necessarily contradicts China time. However, this doesn't mean that, from China’s perspective, the Chinese watches are incorrect. In fact, it’s the opposite. That difference indicates that the Chinese watches must be correct for China, and therefore, since the Chinese watches are right in relation to China, the Greenwich chronometers must be wrong for China. Moreover, what use would a Greenwich chronometer, keeping Greenwich time, be to a Chinese person? If they were to organize their daily life around it, they would end up doing things absurdly — like going to bed at noon while their neighbors are having dinner. Thus, while human wisdom may seem foolishness to God, God’s wisdom can appear foolish to man. This is literally true. God at heavenly Greenwich doesn't expect ordinary people to adhere to Greenwich wisdom in this distant Chinese world; such a practice would be useless for them here and a misrepresentation of Himself, for in that case, China time would be the same as Greenwich time, which would render Greenwich time incorrect."

“But why then does God now and then send a heavenly chronometer (as a meteoric stone) into the world, uselessly as it would seem, to give the lie to all the world’s time-keepers? Because he is unwilling to leave man without some occasional testimony to this:—that though man’s Chinese notions of things may answer well enough here, they are by no means universally applicable, and that the central Greenwich in which He dwells goes by a somewhat different method from this world. And yet it follows not from this, that God’s truth is one thing and man’s truth another; but—as above hinted, and as will be further elucidated in subsequent lectures—by their very contradictions they are made to correspond.

“But why does God occasionally send a heavenly chronometer (like a meteorite) into the world, seemingly useless, to contradict all the world’s timekeepers? Because He doesn’t want to leave humanity without some occasional proof of this:—that while our limited understanding of things may work well here, it’s not universally valid, and that the central Greenwich where He resides operates on a somewhat different system from this world. However, this doesn’t mean that God’s truth is separate from man’s truth; rather—as mentioned above, and as will be further explained in subsequent lectures—through their contradictions, they are made to correspond.”

“By inference it follows, also, that he who finding in himself a chronometrical soul, seeks practically to force that heavenly time upon the earth; in such an attempt he can never succeed, with an absolute and essential success. And as for himself, if he seek to regulate his own daily conduct by it, he will but array all men’s earthly time-keepers against him, and thereby work himself woe and death. Both these things are plainly evinced in the character and fate of Christ, and the past and present condition of the religion he taught. But here one thing is to be especially observed. Though Christ encountered woe in both the precept and the practice of his chronometricals, yet did he remain throughout entirely without folly or sin. Whereas, almost invariably, with inferior beings, the absolute effort to live in this world according to the strict letter of the chronometricals is, somehow, apt to involve those inferior beings eventually in strange, unique follies and sins, unimagined before. It is the story of the Ephesian matron, allegorized.

“From this, it follows that someone who discovers a precise sense of timing within themselves and tries to impose that divine timing on the world will never achieve true and complete success. If that person also tries to base their daily actions on this timing, they'll simply find themselves at odds with everyone else's clocks, leading to their own sorrow and downfall. Both of these points are clearly demonstrated in the life and fate of Christ, along with the past and present state of the religion he established. However, there's one important thing to note. Although Christ faced suffering both in teaching and practicing his sense of timing, he never acted foolishly or sinned. On the other hand, when lesser beings attempt to live strictly according to this timing, they often end up caught in bizarre, unique foolishness and sins that they never imagined before. It’s like the story of the Ephesian matron, allegorically speaking.”

“To any earnest man of insight, a faithful contemplation of these ideas concerning Chronometricals and Horologicals, will serve to render provisionally far less dark some few of the otherwise obscurest things which have hitherto tormented the honest-thinking men of all ages. What man who carries a heavenly soul in him, has not groaned to perceive, that unless he committed a sort of suicide as to the practical things of this world, he never can hope to regulate his earthly conduct by that same heavenly soul? And yet by an infallible instinct he knows, that that monitor can not be wrong in itself.

“To any serious person with insight, carefully thinking about these ideas related to Chronometricals and Horologicals will help clarify some of the otherwise most puzzling issues that have troubled thoughtful individuals throughout history. What person with a noble spirit hasn't wished to understand that unless they give up on practical matters in this world, they can never hope to align their earthly actions with that same noble spirit? And yet, by an undeniable instinct, they know that this inner guide can't be mistaken.”

“And where is the earnest and righteous philosopher, gentlemen, who looking right and left, and up and down, through all the ages of the world, the present included; where is there such an one who has not a thousand times been struck with a sort of infidel idea, that whatever other worlds God may be Lord of, he is not the Lord of this; for else this world would seem to give the lie to Him; so utterly repugnant seem its ways to the instinctively known ways of Heaven. But it is not, and can not be so; nor will he who regards this chronometrical conceit aright, ever more be conscious of that horrible idea. For he will then see, or seem to see, that this world’s seeming incompatibility with God, absolutely results from its meridianal correspondence with him.

“And where is the earnest and righteous philosopher, gentlemen, who, looking around through all the ages of the world, including the present, can say they haven't been struck by the troubling thought that, no matter what other worlds God may rule over, He is not the Lord of this one? If He were, this world would seem to contradict Him so strongly; its ways feel completely opposed to the instinctively understood ways of Heaven. But it is not, and cannot be so; nor will anyone who understands this temporal concept ever be aware of that dreadful idea again. For they will then see, or think they see, that this world’s apparent incompatibility with God actually stems from its deep connection to Him.”

*         *         *         *         *        *

*         *         *         *         *        *

“This chronometrical conceit does by no means involve the justification of all the acts which wicked men may perform. For in their wickedness downright wicked men sin as much against their own horologes, as against the heavenly chronometer. That this is so, their spontaneous liability to remorse does plainly evince. No, this conceit merely goes to show, that for the mass of men, the highest abstract heavenly righteousness is not only impossible, but would be entirely out of place, and positively wrong in a world like this. To turn the left cheek if the right be smitten, is chronometrical; hence, no average son of man ever did such a thing. To give all that thou hast to the poor, this too is chronometrical; hence no average son of man ever did such a thing. Nevertheless, if a man gives with a certain self-considerate generosity to the poor; abstains from doing downright ill to any man; does his convenient best in a general way to do good to his whole race; takes watchful loving care of his wife and children, relatives, and friends; is perfectly tolerant to all other men’s opinions, whatever they may be; is an honest dealer, an honest citizen, and all that; and more especially if he believe that there is a God for infidels, as well as for believers, and acts upon that belief; then, though such a man falls infinitely short of the chronometrical standard, though all his actions are entirely horologic;—yet such a man need never lastingly despond, because he is sometimes guilty of some minor offense:—hasty words, impulsively returning a blow, fits of domestic petulance, selfish enjoyment of a glass of wine while he knows there are those around him who lack a loaf of bread. I say he need never lastingly despond on account of his perpetual liability to these things; because not to do them, and their like, would be to be an angel, a chronometer; whereas, he is a man and a horologe.

This idea about timekeeping doesn't justify all the actions wicked people might take. In their wickedness, outright evil individuals sin just as much against their own internal clocks as they do against the divine clock. Their tendency to feel guilt clearly shows this. No, this idea simply illustrates that for most people, the highest level of abstract righteousness isn't just unattainable but would actually be out of place and wrong in a world like ours. Turning the other cheek when one is hit is an abstract concept; therefore, no average person ever does that. Giving everything you have to the poor is also an abstract idea; hence, no average person actually does that either. However, if someone gives generously to the poor, avoids doing harm to others, tries their best to benefit humanity, cares for their spouse, children, relatives, and friends, remains tolerant of others' opinions, is an honest individual and a good citizen, and especially if they believe that God exists for both believers and non-believers and act accordingly; then, even though such a person falls far short of the ideal standard and all their actions may lack perfection—such a person should never feel hopeless just because they occasionally commit minor offenses: hasty words, reacting rashly, moments of irritation at home, or enjoying a glass of wine while knowing others are hungry. I say they need not despair continuously because failing to avoid these things would mean being an angel, a perfect clock; but they are just human and a timepiece.

“Yet does the horologe itself teach, that all liabilities to these things should be checked as much as possible, though it is certain they can never be utterly eradicated. They are only to be checked, then, because, if entirely unrestrained, they would finally run into utter selfishness and human demonism, which, as before hinted, are not by any means justified by the horologe.

“Yet the clock itself teaches that all obligations to these things should be limited as much as possible, even though it's clear they can never be completely eliminated. They should only be limited, because if left completely unchecked, they would ultimately lead to total selfishness and human wickedness, which, as mentioned before, are definitely not justified by the clock.”

“In short, this Chronometrical and Horological conceit, in sum, seems to teach this:—That in things terrestrial (horological) a man must not be governed by ideas celestial (chronometrical); that certain minor self-renunciations in this life his own mere instinct for his own every-day general well-being will teach him to make, but he must by no means make a complete unconditional sacrifice of himself in behalf of any other being, or any cause, or any conceit. (For, does aught else completely and unconditionally sacrifice itself for him? God’s own sun does not abate one tittle of its heat in July, however you swoon with that heat in the sun. And if it did abate its heat on your behalf, then the wheat and the rye would not ripen; and so, for the incidental benefit of one, a whole population would suffer.)

“In short, this idea about timekeeping and watches seems to teach this:—That in earthly matters (like clocks), a person shouldn’t let celestial ideas (like time itself) control them; that certain small sacrifices in life will be suggested by their own instinct for general well-being, but they shouldn’t completely and unconditionally give up themselves for anyone else, any cause, or any idea. (After all, does anything else completely and unconditionally sacrifice itself for them? Even the sun doesn’t reduce its heat in July, no matter how much you’re suffering from it. And if it did decrease its heat for your sake, then the wheat and rye wouldn’t ripen; so, for the benefit of one person, an entire population would suffer.)”

“A virtuous expediency, then, seems the highest desirable or attainable earthly excellence for the mass of men, and is the only earthly excellence that their Creator intended for them. When they go to heaven, it will be quite another thing. There, they can freely turn the left cheek, because there the right cheek will never be smitten. There they can freely give all to the poor, for there there will be no poor to give to. A due appreciation of this matter will do good to man. For, hitherto, being authoritatively taught by his dogmatical teachers that he must, while on earth, aim at heaven, and attain it, too, in all his earthly acts, on pain of eternal wrath; and finding by experience that this is utterly impossible; in his despair, he is too apt to run clean away into all manner of moral abandonment, self-deceit, and hypocrisy (cloaked, however, mostly under an aspect of the most respectable devotion); or else he openly runs, like a mad dog, into atheism. Whereas, let men be taught those Chronometricals and Horologicals, and while still retaining every common-sense incentive to whatever of virtue be practicable and desirable, and having these incentives strengthened, too, by the consciousness of powers to attain their mark; then there would be an end to that fatal despair of becoming at all good, which has too often proved the vice-producing result in many minds of the undiluted chronometrical doctrines hitherto taught to mankind. But if any man say, that such a doctrine as this I lay down is false, is impious; I would charitably refer that man to the history of Christendom for the last 1800 years; and ask him, whether, in spite of all the maxims of Christ, that history is not just as full of blood, violence, wrong, and iniquity of every kind, as any previous portion of the world’s story? Therefore, it follows, that so far as practical results are concerned—regarded in a purely earthly light—the only great original moral doctrine of Christianity (i. e. the chronometrical gratuitous return of good for evil, as distinguished from the horological forgiveness of injuries taught by some of the Pagan philosophers), has been found (horologically) a false one; because after 1800 years’ inculcation from tens of thousands of pulpits, it has proved entirely impracticable.

A practical virtue, then, seems to be the highest desirable or achievable earthly excellence for most people and is the only earthly excellence their Creator intended for them. When they reach heaven, things will be completely different. There, they can easily turn the other cheek because their cheek will never be struck. They can generously give everything to the poor, for there, there won’t be any poor people to give to. A proper understanding of this matter will benefit humanity. Up until now, people have been taught by their authoritative teachers that while on earth, they must strive for heaven and achieve it in all their earthly actions, or face eternal punishment; and upon realizing that this is utterly impossible, many fall into moral decay, self-deception, and hypocrisy (often masked as the most respectable devotion); or they openly plunge into atheism like a mad dog. Instead, if people are taught these timekeeping principles, while still holding onto every common-sense reason for pursuing any achievable and desirable virtue, and having these reasons reinforced by the awareness of their ability to reach their goals, then the fatal despair of ever being good would come to an end. This despair has often resulted from the undiluted doctrines about timekeeping that have been taught to humanity. However, if anyone claims that this doctrine I present is false or impious, I would kindly point them to the history of Christendom over the past 1800 years. I would ask them whether, despite all the teachings of Christ, that history isn't just as rife with bloodshed, violence, injustice, and wrongdoing of every kind as any earlier period in the world’s narrative? Therefore, it follows that when it comes to practical outcomes—viewed in a purely earthly sense—the only significant original moral doctrine of Christianity (i.e., the timekeeping principle of giving good for evil, as opposed to the philosophical forgiveness of injuries taught by some Pagan thinkers) has been proven (in practical terms) to be false; because after 1800 years of instruction from countless pulpits, it has proven to be completely unworkable.

“I but lay down, then, what the best mortal men do daily practice; and what all really wicked men are very far removed from. I present consolation to the earnest man, who, among all his human frailties, is still agonizingly conscious of the beauty of chronometrical excellence. I hold up a practicable virtue to the vicious; and interfere not with the eternal truth, that, sooner or later, in all cases, downright vice is downright woe.

“I just lay down what the best people do every day, and what all truly bad people are completely away from. I offer comfort to the serious person who, despite all their human weaknesses, is still painfully aware of the beauty of perfect timing. I present a workable virtue to the immoral; and I don’t challenge the universal truth that, sooner or later, in every case, pure vice leads to pure misery.”

“Moreover: if——”

“Also: if——”

But here the pamphlet was torn, and came to a most untidy termination.

But here the pamphlet was ripped, and ended in a very messy way.

BOOK XV.
THE COUSINS.

I.

THOUGH resolved to face all out to the last, at whatever desperate hazard, Pierre had not started for the city without some reasonable plans, both with reference to his more immediate circumstances, and his ulterior condition.

THOUGH decided to confront everything head-on, no matter the risk, Pierre had not set off for the city without some solid plans, considering both his current situation and his future condition.

There resided in the city a cousin of his, Glendinning Stanly, better known in the general family as Glen Stanly, and by Pierre, as Cousin Glen. Like Pierre, he was an only son; his parents had died in his early childhood; and within the present year he had returned from a protracted sojourn in Europe, to enter, at the age of twenty-one, into the untrammeled possession of a noble property, which in the hands of faithful guardians, had largely accumulated.

There lived in the city his cousin, Glendinning Stanly, better known in the family as Glen Stanly, and by Pierre, as Cousin Glen. Like Pierre, he was an only son; his parents had passed away when he was very young; and earlier this year he returned from a long stay in Europe, ready to take full ownership of a valuable estate that had significantly increased in value under the care of trusted guardians, all at the age of twenty-one.

In their boyhood and earlier adolescence, Pierre and Glen had cherished a much more than cousinly attachment. At the age of ten, they had furnished an example of the truth, that the friendship of fine-hearted, generous boys, nurtured amid the romance-engendering comforts and elegancies of life, sometimes transcends the bounds of mere boyishness, and revels for a while in the empyrean of a love which only comes short, by one degree, of the sweetest sentiment entertained between the sexes. Nor is this boy-love without the occasional fillips and spicinesses, which at times, by an apparent abatement, enhance the permanent delights of those more advanced lovers who love beneath the cestus of Venus. Jealousies are felt. The sight of another lad too much consorting with the boy’s beloved object, shall fill him with emotions akin to those of Othello’s; a fancied slight, or lessening of the every-day indications of warm feelings, shall prompt him to bitter upbraidings and reproaches; or shall plunge him into evil moods, for which grim solitude only is congenial.

In their childhood and early adolescence, Pierre and Glen had shared a bond that was more than just cousinly. By the time they turned ten, they provided a perfect example of how the friendship between kind-hearted, generous boys, raised in the romantic comforts and luxuries of life, can sometimes go beyond ordinary boyhood, briefly reaching a level of affection that is just a step away from the sweetest feelings typically shared between lovers. This boyish love isn't without its occasional tensions and excitements, which, at times, by their very nature, enhance the lasting pleasures of those more mature lovers who experience love under the influence of Venus. Jealousy can arise. The sight of another boy spending too much time with his cherished friend can stir emotions similar to Othello's; a perceived slight or a decrease in everyday signs of affection can lead to harsh accusations and hurtful words, or can push him into dark moods, where only grim solitude feels like a companion.

Nor are the letters of Aphroditean devotees more charged with headlong vows and protestations, more cross-written and crammed with discursive sentimentalities, more undeviating in their semi-weekliness, or dayliness, as the case may be, than are the love-friendship missives of boys. Among those bundles of papers which Pierre, in an ill hour, so frantically destroyed in the chamber of the inn, were two large packages of letters, densely written, and in many cases inscribed crosswise throughout with red ink upon black; so that the love in those letters was two layers deep, and one pen and one pigment were insufficient to paint it. The first package contained the letters of Glen to Pierre, the other those of Pierre to Glen, which, just prior to Glen’s departure for Europe, Pierre had obtained from him, in order to re-read them in his absence, and so fortify himself the more in his affection, by reviving reference to the young, ardent hours of its earliest manifestations.

The letters from Aphrodite’s followers aren’t any more filled with impulsive promises and declarations, wildly scribbled with emotional ramblings, or consistently sent every week or day, depending on the situation, than the love letters exchanged between boys. Among the piles of papers that Pierre, in a moment of frustration, desperately destroyed in the inn room, were two big bundles of letters, densely written and often inscribed crosswise with red ink on black paper; the love in those letters was layered, and one pen and one color weren’t enough to express it all. The first bundle contained Glen's letters to Pierre, and the second was Pierre's letters to Glen, which Pierre had gotten from Glen just before he left for Europe, so he could reread them while Glen was away and strengthen his feelings by recalling the passionate moments of their early days together.

But as the advancing fruit itself extrudes the beautiful blossom, so in many cases, does the eventual love for the other sex forever dismiss the preliminary love-friendship of boys. The mere outer friendship may in some degree—greater or less—survive; but the singular love in it has perishingly dropped away.

But just as a maturing fruit pushes out the lovely flower, in many cases, the eventual romantic love for the opposite sex completely replaces the initial friendship shared by boys. The basic friendship may linger to some extent—more or less—but the unique bond that once existed has sadly faded away.

If in the eye of unyielding reality and truth, the earthly heart of man do indeed ever fix upon some one woman, to whom alone, thenceforth eternally to be a devotee, without a single shadow of the misgiving of its faith; and who, to him, does perfectly embody his finest, loftiest dream of feminine loveliness, if this indeed be so—and may Heaven grant that it be—nevertheless, in metropolitan cases, the love of the most single-eyed lover, almost invariably, is nothing more than the ultimate settling of innumerable wandering glances upon some one specific object; as admonished, that the wonderful scope and variety of female loveliness, if too long suffered to sway us without decision, shall finally confound all power of selection. The confirmed bachelor is, in America, at least, quite as often the victim of a too profound appreciation of the infinite charmingness of woman, as made solitary for life by the legitimate empire of a cold and tasteless temperament.

If, in the face of unyielding reality and truth, a man's heart really does ever settle on one particular woman, to whom he will devote himself eternally, without any doubt about his faith; and who, for him, perfectly embodies his highest and most beautiful dreams of femininity—if this is true—and may Heaven allow it to be—still, in urban situations, the love of even the most dedicated lover is almost always just the final outcome of countless wandering glances landing on one specific person; reminded that the amazing range and variety of female beauty, if allowed to sway us without making a choice for too long, will eventually confuse all ability to choose. The confirmed bachelor, at least in America, is just as often the victim of a too deep appreciation for the endless charm of women, as he is made solitary for life by the legitimate rule of a cold and uninspired temperament.

Though the peculiar heart-longings pertaining to his age, had at last found their glowing response in the bosom of Lucy; yet for some period prior to that, Pierre had not been insensible to the miscellaneous promptings of the passion. So that even before he became a declarative lover, Love had yet made him her general votary; and so already there had gradually come a cooling over that ardent sentiment which in earlier years he had cherished for Glen.

Although the unique feelings he had for his age had finally found a passionate response in Lucy, Pierre had not been unaware of the various influences of love for some time before that. Even before he openly declared his love, he had already become a devoted follower of Love; and because of this, there had gradually been a cooling of the intense feelings he had once held for Glen in his earlier years.

All round and round does the world lie as in a sharp-shooter’s ambush, to pick off the beautiful illusions of youth, by the pitiless cracking rifles of the realities of the age. If the general love for women, had in Pierre sensibly modified his particular sentiment toward Glen; neither had the thousand nameless fascinations of the then brilliant paradises of France and Italy, failed to exert their seductive influence on many of the previous feelings of Glen. For as the very best advantages of life are not without some envious drawback, so it is among the evils of enlarged foreign travel, that in young and unsolid minds, it dislodges some of the finest feelings of the home-born nature; replacing them with a fastidious superciliousness, which like the alledged bigoted Federalism of old times would not—according to a political legend—grind its daily coffee in any mill save of European manufacture, and was satirically said to have thought of importing European air for domestic consumption. The mutually curtailed, lessening, long-postponed, and at last altogether ceasing letters of Pierre and Glen were the melancholy attestations of a fact, which perhaps neither of them took very severely to heart, as certainly, concerning it, neither took the other to task.

All around the world keeps turning like a marksman's trap, picking off the beautiful illusions of youth with the ruthless shots fired by the harsh realities of life. While Pierre's general affection for women had certainly changed his specific feelings for Glen, the countless enchanting experiences in the then-magnificent paradises of France and Italy had also influenced many of Glen's past emotions. Just as the best perks of life come with some envious disadvantages, one of the downsides of extensive foreign travel is that it can shake loose some of the purest feelings of home in young, impressionable minds, replacing them with a picky arrogance that, like the alleged bigoted Federalism of old, wouldn’t—according to political folklore—grind its daily coffee in any mill except for one made in Europe and was ironically said to have considered importing European air for local use. The increasingly rare, diminishing, long-delayed, and ultimately completely stopped letters between Pierre and Glen were sad reminders of a truth that perhaps neither of them took too seriously, as certainly, neither confronted the other about it.

In the earlier periods of that strange transition from the generous impulsiveness of youth to the provident circumspectness of age, there generally intervenes a brief pause of unpleasant reconsidering; when finding itself all wide of its former spontaneous self, the soul hesitates to commit itself wholly to selfishness; more than repents its wanderings;—yet all this is but transient; and again hurried on by the swift current of life, the prompt-hearted boy scarce longer is to be recognized in matured man,—very slow to feel, deliberate even in love, and statistical even in piety. During the sway of this peculiar period, the boy shall still make some strenuous efforts to retrieve his departing spontaneities; but so alloyed are all such endeavors with the incipiencies of selfishness, that they were best not made at all; since too often they seem but empty and self-deceptive sallies, or still worse, the merest hypocritical assumptions.

In the earlier stages of that strange shift from the generous impulsiveness of youth to the careful consideration of age, there’s usually a short pause filled with unpleasant second-guessing; when realizing it’s far from its former spontaneous self, the soul hesitates to fully embrace selfishness; it regrets its missteps more than once;—yet all this is just temporary; and again, swept along by the fast-paced current of life, the eager boy is barely recognizable in the grown man,—very slow to feel, careful even in love, and analytical even in faith. During this unusual phase, the boy will still make some significant attempts to regain his lost spontaneity; but since all these efforts are so mixed with the early signs of selfishness, they are often best left unmade; since too often they appear to be empty and self-deceptive moves, or even worse, mere hypocritical gestures.

Upon the return of Glen from abroad, the commonest courtesy, not to say the blood-relation between them, prompted Pierre to welcome him home, with a letter, which though not over-long, and little enthusiastic, still breathed a spirit of cousinly consideration and kindness, pervadingly touched by the then naturally frank and all-attractive spirit of Pierre. To this, the less earnest and now Europeanized Glen had replied in a letter all sudden suavity; and in a strain of artistic artlessness, mourned the apparent decline of their friendship; yet fondly trusted that now, notwithstanding their long separation, it would revive with added sincerity. Yet upon accidentally fixing his glance upon the opening salutation of this delicate missive, Pierre thought he perceived certain, not wholly disguisable chirographic tokens, that the “My very dear Pierre,” with which the letter seemed to have been begun, had originally been written “Dear Pierre;” but that when all was concluded, and Glen’s signature put to it, then the ardent words “My very” had been prefixed to the reconsidered “Dear Pierre;” a casual supposition, which possibly, however unfounded, materially retarded any answering warmth in Pierre, lest his generous flame should only embrace a flaunted feather. Nor was this idea altogether unreinforced, when on the reception of a second, and now half-business letter (of which mixed sort nearly all the subsequent ones were), from Glen, he found that the “My very dear Pierre” had already retreated into “My dear Pierre;” and on a third occasion, into “Dear Pierre;” and on a fourth, had made a forced and very spirited advanced march up to “My dearest Pierre.” All of which fluctuations augured ill for the determinateness of that love, which, however immensely devoted to one cause, could yet hoist and sail under the flags of all nations. Nor could he but now applaud a still subsequent letter from Glen, which abruptly, and almost with apparent indecorousness, under the circumstances, commenced the strain of friendship without any overture of salutation whatever; as if at last, owing to its infinite delicateness, entirely hopeless of precisely defining the nature of their mystical love, Glen chose rather to leave that precise definition to the sympathetical heart and imagination of Pierre; while he himself would go on to celebrate the general relation, by many a sugared sentence of miscellaneous devotion. It was a little curious and rather sardonically diverting, to compare these masterly, yet not wholly successful, and indeterminate tactics of the accomplished Glen, with the unfaltering stream of Beloved Pierres, which not only flowed along the top margin of all his earlier letters, but here and there, from their subterranean channel, flashed out in bright intervals, through all the succeeding lines. Nor had the chance recollection of these things at all restrained the reckless hand of Pierre, when he threw the whole package of letters, both new and old, into that most honest and summary of all elements, which is neither a respecter of persons, nor a finical critic of what manner of writings it burns; but like ultimate Truth itself, of which it is the eloquent symbol, consumes all, and only consumes.

When Glen returned from abroad, Pierre felt it was only polite, not to mention their family connection, to greet him with a letter. Though it wasn't too lengthy or very enthusiastic, it still carried a sense of cousinly thoughtfulness and kindness, reflecting Pierre's naturally open and appealing nature. In response, the now more sophisticated Glen sent back a letter that was surprisingly charming; in a style that seemed effortlessly artistic, he lamented the apparent fading of their friendship, but he hopefully believed that despite their long separation, it would rekindle with deeper sincerity. However, when Pierre inadvertently noticed the opening greeting of this delicate letter, he thought he caught some unmistakable signs in the handwriting. The “My very dear Pierre” at the beginning seemed to have originally been “Dear Pierre;” and after finishing the letter and signing it, Glen had added the enthusiastic “My very” to the revised “Dear Pierre.” This casual assumption, though possibly incorrect, made Pierre hesitate to respond warmly, fearing that his generous feelings would only be met with superficial compliments. This thought gained some weight when, after receiving a second, somewhat businesslike letter (a style that characterized most of Glen's subsequent letters), Pierre saw that “My very dear Pierre” had now become “My dear Pierre;” in a third letter, it changed to “Dear Pierre;” and in a fourth, it boldly returned to “My dearest Pierre.” These fluctuations didn't bode well for the steadfastness of the love that, while passionately dedicated to one cause, seemed to flutter under various flags. Pierre couldn't help but appreciate a later letter from Glen that abruptly, and almost rudely given the circumstances, launched into their friendship without any greeting. It was as if Glen, finally realizing the complexity of their unique bond, chose to leave its precise definition to Pierre’s sympathetic heart and imagination while offering a string of sweet phrases celebrating their general connection. It was a bit odd and somewhat amusing to compare Glen’s skillful yet ambiguous approach with Pierre's consistent outpouring of affection that not only topped all his earlier letters but occasionally burst forth in bright moments throughout all the subsequent texts. This recollection didn’t stop Pierre, though, as he recklessly tossed the entire bundle of letters, both new and old, into the most honest and straightforward of elements, which doesn’t discriminate and isn't picky about what it consumes; like ultimate Truth itself, of which it is the eloquent symbol, it devours all and consumes only.

When the betrothment of Pierre to Lucy had become an acknowledged thing, the courtly Glen, besides the customary felicitations upon that event, had not omitted so fit an opportunity to re-tender to his cousin all his previous jars of honey and treacle, accompanied by additional boxes of candied citron and plums. Pierre thanked him kindly; but in certain little roguish ambiguities begged leave, on the ground of cloying, to return him inclosed by far the greater portion of his present; whose non-substantialness was allegorically typified in the containing letter itself, prepaid with only the usual postage.

When Pierre's engagement to Lucy became official, the polite Glen, in addition to the usual congratulations on the occasion, took the opportunity to give his cousin all the honey and sweet treats he had previously sent, along with some extra boxes of candied citron and plums. Pierre thanked him warmly but with a playful hint indicated that he felt overwhelmed and wanted to return most of the gifts, which he described as lacking in substance, using the letter to send back what he didn't want, with only the standard postage covered.

True love, as every one knows, will still withstand many repulses, even though rude. But whether it was the love or the politeness of Glen, which on this occasion proved invincible, is a matter we will not discuss. Certain it was, that quite undaunted, Glen nobly returned to the charge, and in a very prompt and unexpected answer, extended to Pierre all the courtesies of the general city, and all the hospitalities of five sumptuous chambers, which he and his luxurious environments contrived nominally to occupy in the most fashionable private hotel of a very opulent town. Nor did Glen rest here; but like Napoleon, now seemed bent upon gaining the battle by throwing all his regiments upon one point of attack, and gaining that point at all hazards. Hearing of some rumor at the tables of his relatives that the day was being fixed for the positive nuptials of Pierre; Glen called all his Parisian portfolios for his rosiest sheet, and with scented ink, and a pen of gold, indited a most burnished and redolent letter, which, after invoking all the blessings of Apollo and Venus, and the Nine Muses, and the Cardinal Virtues upon the coming event; concluded at last with a really magnificent testimonial to his love.

True love, as everyone knows, can handle a lot of rejection, even if it’s harsh. But whether it was Glen's love or his politeness that made him so unshakeable this time is a discussion for another day. What’s certain is that Glen, undeterred, bravely made another attempt. He quickly and unexpectedly offered Pierre all the kind gestures of the city and the warm hospitality of five lavish rooms, which he and his opulent surroundings managed to occupy in the trendiest private hotel of a wealthy town. Glen didn’t stop there; he seemed determined to win by focusing all his efforts on one single goal, no matter the risk. Hearing gossip from his relatives that the date for Pierre's wedding was being set, Glen pulled out his finest stationery, used scented ink, and wrote a beautifully crafted and fragrant letter. After invoking all the blessings of Apollo, Venus, the Nine Muses, and the Cardinal Virtues upon the upcoming event, he concluded with a truly splendid declaration of his love.

According to this letter, among his other real estate in the city, Glen had inherited a very charming, little, old house, completely furnished in the style of the last century, in a quarter of the city which, though now not so garishly fashionable as of yore, still in its quiet secludedness, possessed great attractions for the retired billings and cooings of a honeymoon. Indeed he begged leave now to christen it the Cooery, and if after his wedding jaunt, Pierre would deign to visit the city with his bride for a month or two’s sojourn, then the Cooery would be but too happy in affording him a harbor. His sweet cousin need be under no apprehension. Owing to the absence of any fit applicant for it, the house had now long been without a tenant, save an old, confidential, bachelor clerk of his father’s, who on a nominal rent, and more by way of safe-keeping to the house than any thing else, was now hanging up his well-furbished hat in its hall. This accommodating old clerk would quickly unpeg his beaver at the first hint of new occupants. Glen would charge himself with supplying the house in advance with a proper retinue of servants; fires would be made in the long-unoccupied chambers; the venerable, grotesque, old mahoganies, and marbles, and mirror-frames, and moldings could be very soon dusted and burnished; the kitchen was amply provided with the necessary utensils for cooking; the strong box of old silver immemorially pertaining to the mansion, could be readily carted round from the vaults of the neighboring Bank; while the hampers of old china, still retained in the house, needed but little trouble to unpack; so that silver and china would soon stand assorted in their appropriate closets; at the turning of a faucet in the cellar, the best of the city’s water would not fail to contribute its ingredient to the concocting of a welcoming glass of negus before retiring on the first night of their arrival.

According to this letter, among his other properties in the city, Glen had inherited a charming little old house, fully furnished in last century's style, located in an area that, while not as trendy as it used to be, still had a quiet charm ideal for the sweet moments of a honeymoon. He even fancied naming it the Cooery, and if Pierre would consider visiting the city with his bride for a month or two after their wedding trip, the Cooery would be more than happy to provide them a place to stay. His dear cousin needn't worry. Because there had been no suitable tenants for a while, the house had been empty except for an old, trusted bachelor clerk of Glen’s father, who was living there for a nominal rent more for the house’s protection than anything else. This accommodating old clerk would quickly leave at the first hint of new residents. Glen would take care of preparing the house with a proper staff; fires would be lit in the long-empty rooms; the old, unique mahogany furniture, marble accents, mirrors, and moldings could be easily dusted and polished; the kitchen was well-stocked with cooking utensils; the strongbox of old silver that belonged to the mansion could be easily brought over from the nearby bank; and the hampers of china still left in the house needed little effort to unpack, so that silver and china would soon be neatly organized in their designated cabinets. With just a turn of a faucet in the basement, the best water in the city would be ready to help make a welcoming glass of negus before their first night's sleep.

The over-fastidiousness of some unhealthily critical minds, as well as the moral pusillanimity of others, equally bars the acceptance of effectually substantial favors from persons whose motive in proffering them, is not altogether clear and unimpeachable; and toward whom, perhaps, some prior coolness or indifference has been shown. But when the acceptance of such a favor would be really convenient and desirable to the one party, and completely unattended with any serious distress to the other; there would seem to be no sensible objection to an immediate embrace of the offer. And when the acceptor is in rank and fortune the general equal of the profferer, and perhaps his superior, so that any courtesy he receives, can be amply returned in the natural course of future events, then all motives to decline are very materially lessened. And as for the thousand inconceivable finicalnesses of small pros and cons about imaginary fitnesses, and proprieties, and self-consistencies; thank heaven, in the hour of heart-health, none such shilly-shallying sail-trimmers ever balk the onward course of a bluff-minded man. He takes the world as it is; and carelessly accommodates himself to its whimsical humors; nor ever feels any compunction at receiving the greatest possible favors from those who are as able to grant, as free to bestow. He himself bestows upon occasion; so that, at bottom, common charity steps in to dictate a favorable consideration for all possible profferings; seeing that the acceptance shall only the more enrich him, indirectly, for new and larger beneficences of his own.

The overly critical mindset of some people, along with the moral weakness of others, hinders the acceptance of genuinely valuable favors from those whose intentions aren't entirely clear and trustworthy, especially if there has been some previous distance or indifference. However, if accepting such a favor would be truly beneficial for one party and wouldn’t seriously inconvenience the other, then there’s really no sensible reason not to take it. If the person accepting is on similar footing in terms of status and wealth as the person offering, or even holds a higher position, then the reasons to decline are greatly reduced. And when it comes to the countless trivial details about imagined appropriateness or consistency, thankfully, in a moment of true well-being, no such nitpicking will stop a straightforward person from moving forward. They take the world as it is and easily adapt to its eccentricities, never feeling guilty about accepting significant favors from those who are just as capable of giving as they are willing to do so. They also give when the opportunity arises, which means, ultimately, basic kindness encourages a positive view of all potential offers, knowing that accepting them will only enrich them further for new and greater acts of generosity on their part.

And as for those who noways pretend with themselves to regulate their deportment by considerations of genuine benevolence, and to whom such courteous profferings hypocritically come from persons whom they suspect for secret enemies; then to such minds not only will their own worldly tactics at once forbid the uncivil blank repulse of such offers; but if they are secretly malicious as well as frigid, or if they are at all capable of being fully gratified by the sense of concealed superiority and mastership (which precious few men are) then how delightful for such persons under the guise of mere acquiescence in his own voluntary civilities, to make genteel use of their foe. For one would like to know, what were foes made for except to be used? In the rude ages men hunted and javelined the tiger, because they hated him for a mischief-minded wild-beast; but in these enlightened times, though we love the tiger as little as ever, still we mostly hunt him for the sake of his skin. A wise man then will wear his tiger; every morning put on his tiger for a robe to keep him warm and adorn him. In this view, foes are far more desirable than friends; for who would hunt and kill his own faithful affectionate dog for the sake of his skin? and is a dog’s skin as valuable as a tiger’s? Cases there are where it becomes soberly advisable, by direct arts to convert some well-wishers into foes. It is false that in point of policy a man should never make enemies. As well-wishers some men may not only be nugatory but positive obstacles in your peculiar plans; but as foes you may subordinately cement them into your general design.

And for those who only pretend to be kind, trying to manage their behavior based on true goodwill, while being suspicious that friendly gestures come from people they consider secret enemies; to those people, their own worldly strategies will prevent them from outright rejecting such offers. If they are secretly bitter and cold, or if they find satisfaction in feeling superior (which only a few actually do), then how satisfying for them to subtly take advantage of their rivals while appearing to accept their politeness. After all, what are enemies for if not to be used? In ancient times, people hunted and speared tigers because they hated them as dangerous beasts; but in these modern times, although we still don’t care for tigers much, we mainly hunt them for their fur. A wise person will wear their tiger; every morning they will put on their tiger as a robe for warmth and decoration. From this angle, enemies can be more valuable than friends; who would hunt down and skin their loyal, loving dog for its fur? And is a dog’s skin worth as much as a tiger’s? There are situations where it’s wise to turn some well-wishers into foes. It’s not true that one should avoid making enemies for the sake of strategy. Some well-wishers might not only be useless but even act as hurdles to your specific goals; however, as enemies, you can still incorporate them into your larger plan.

But into these ulterior refinements of cool Tuscan policy, Pierre as yet had never become initiated; his experiences hitherto not having been varied and ripe enough for that; besides, he had altogether too much generous blood in his heart. Nevertheless, thereafter, in a less immature hour, though still he shall not have the heart to practice upon such maxims as the above, yet shall he have the brain thoroughly to comprehend their practicability; which is not always the case. And generally, in worldly wisdom, men will deny to one the possession of all insight, which one does not by his every-day outward life practically reveal. It is a very common error of some unscrupulously infidel-minded, selfish, unprincipled, or downright knavish men, to suppose that believing men, or benevolent-hearted men, or good men, do not know enough to be unscrupulously selfish, do not know enough to be unscrupulous knaves. And thus—thanks to the world!—are there many spies in the world’s camp, who are mistaken for strolling simpletons. And these strolling simpletons seem to act upon the principle, that in certain things, we do not so much learn, by showing that already we know a vast deal, as by negatively seeming rather ignorant. But here we press upon the frontiers of that sort of wisdom, which it is very well to possess, but not sagacious to show that you possess. Still, men there are, who having quite done with the world, all its mere worldly contents are become so far indifferent, that they care little of what mere worldly imprudence they may be guilty.

But Pierre hadn't been introduced to the deeper layers of cool Tuscan politics yet; his experiences up to that point hadn't been diverse or mature enough for that, plus he had too much generosity in his heart. However, later on, in a more thoughtful time, even though he wouldn’t have the heart to apply such ideas, he would be smart enough to fully understand their practicality, which isn’t always the case. Generally, in terms of worldly wisdom, people tend to believe that someone lacking practical experience in their everyday life cannot have real insight. It's a common mistake among some unscrupulous, infidel-minded, selfish, unprincipled, or outright deceitful people to think that believers or kind-hearted individuals do not know how to be selfish or deceitful. Thus—thanks to the world!—there are many spies in society who are mistaken for clueless bystanders. These bystanders seem to operate on the idea that in certain matters, we learn not by demonstrating what we know, but by appearing to be quite ignorant. However, we are getting into the territory of a type of wisdom that is great to have but not wise to openly display. Still, there are people who, having moved on from the world, have become so indifferent to its superficial concerns that they care little about any worldly foolishness they may commit.

Now, if it were not conscious considerations like the really benevolent or neutral ones first mentioned above, it was certainly something akin to them, which had induced Pierre to return a straightforward, manly, and entire acceptance to his cousin of the offer of the house; thanking him, over and over, for his most supererogatory kindness concerning the pre-engagement of servants and so forth, and the setting in order of the silver and china; but reminding him, nevertheless, that he had overlooked all special mention of wines, and begged him to store the bins with a few of the very best brands. He would likewise be obliged, if he would personally purchase at a certain celebrated grocer’s, a small bag of undoubted Mocha coffee; but Glen need not order it to be roasted or ground, because Pierre preferred that both those highly important and flavor-deciding operations should be performed instantaneously previous to the final boiling and serving. Nor did he say that he would pay for the wines and the Mocha; he contented himself with merely stating the remissness on the part of his cousin, and pointing out the best way of remedying it.

Now, if it wasn't thoughtful reasons like the genuinely kind or neutral ones mentioned earlier, it was definitely something similar that prompted Pierre to accept his cousin's offer of the house in a straightforward, manly manner. He repeatedly thanked him for his extraordinary kindness with arranging the staff and organizing the silver and china. However, he also reminded him that he had neglected to mention the wines and asked him to stock the cellar with a few of the finest brands. Additionally, he would appreciate it if Glen could personally buy a small bag of quality Mocha coffee from a well-known grocery store, but there was no need for him to have it roasted or ground, because Pierre preferred those crucial steps to be done right before brewing and serving. He didn’t mention that he would pay for the wines and the coffee; he simply noted his cousin's oversight and suggested the best way to fix it.

He concluded his letter by intimating that though the rumor of a set day, and a near one, for his nuptials, was unhappily but ill-founded, yet he would not hold Glen’s generous offer as merely based upon that presumption, and consequently falling with it; but on the contrary, would consider it entirely good for whatever time it might prove available to Pierre. He was betrothed beyond a peradventure; and hoped to be married ere death. Meanwhile, Glen would further oblige him by giving the confidential clerk a standing notice to quit.

He ended his letter by suggesting that, although the rumor about a specific and imminent wedding date was unfortunately unfounded, he wouldn't dismiss Glen's generous offer as only based on that assumption, which would then vanish along with it. Instead, he would regard it as completely valid for however long it might be available to Pierre. He was definitely engaged and hoped to get married before he died. In the meantime, he would appreciate it if Glen could give the confidential clerk a formal notice to leave.

Though at first quite amazed at this letter,—for indeed, his offer might possibly have proceeded as much from ostentation as any thing else, nor had he dreamed of so unhesitating an acceptance,—Pierre’s cousin was too much of a precocious young man of the world, disclosedly to take it in any other than a very friendly, and cousinly, and humorous, and yet practical way; which he plainly evinced by a reply far more sincere and every way creditable, apparently, both to his heart and head, than any letter he had written to Pierre since the days of their boyhood. And thus, by the bluffness and, in some sort, uncompunctuousness of Pierre, this very artificial youth was well betrayed into an act of effective kindness; being forced now to drop the empty mask of ostentation, and put on the solid hearty features of a genuine face. And just so, are some people in the world to be joked into occasional effective goodness, when all coyness, and coolness, all resentments, and all solemn preaching, would fail.

Though initially surprised by this letter—because his offer might have come from a desire to show off as much as anything else, and he never expected such a straightforward acceptance—Pierre’s cousin was too savvy and mature for his age to react in any way other than a very friendly, cousinly, humorous, yet practical manner. He clearly showed this by crafting a reply that was far more sincere and commendable, both in terms of his feelings and thoughts, than any letter he had sent to Pierre since their childhood. Thus, due to Pierre's straightforwardness and somewhat unapologetic nature, this somewhat artificial young man ended up engaging in a genuine act of kindness, compelled to drop his pretentious façade and embrace a more authentic demeanor. Just like that, some people in the world can be nudged into acts of real goodness through humor, when all shyness, indifference, resentment, and serious lecturing would fail.


II.

BUT little would we comprehend the peculiar relation between Pierre and Glen—a relation involving in the end the most serious results—were there not here thrown over the whole equivocal, preceding account of it, another and more comprehensive equivocalness, which shall absorb all minor ones in itself; and so make one pervading ambiguity the only possible explanation for all the ambiguous details.

BUT we would hardly understand the strange relationship between Pierre and Glen—a relationship that ultimately leads to very serious outcomes—if there wasn’t an overarching ambiguity cast over the entire unclear previous account, one that encompasses all the lesser ambiguities within itself; thus making one dominant ambiguity the only plausible explanation for all the ambiguous details.

It had long been imagined by Pierre, that prior to his own special devotion to Lucy, the splendid Glen had not been entirely insensible to her surprising charms. Yet this conceit in its incipiency, he knew not how to account for. Assuredly his cousin had never in the slightest conceivable hint betrayed it; and as for Lucy, the same intuitive delicacy which forever forbade Pierre to question her on the subject, did equally close her own voluntary lips. Between Pierre and Lucy, delicateness put her sacred signet on this chest of secrecy; which like the wax of an executor upon a desk, though capable of being melted into nothing by the smallest candle, for all this, still possesses to the reverent the prohibitive virtue of inexorable bars and bolts.

Pierre had long thought that before he became devoted to Lucy, the impressive Glen had not been completely unaware of her surprising charms. However, he couldn't figure out why he felt this way. Certainly, his cousin had never hinted at it in any way; and as for Lucy, the same intuitive sensitivity that prevented Pierre from asking her about it also kept her from speaking up. Between Pierre and Lucy, this sensitivity sealed a chest of secrets with a sacred mark; much like the wax seal on a desk, which can be easily melted by a small candle, it still holds a powerful prohibitive quality for those who respect it, like unbreakable bars and locks.

If Pierre superficially considered the deportment of Glen toward him, therein he could find no possible warrant for indulging the suspicious idea. Doth jealousy smile so benignantly and offer its house to the bride? Still, on the other hand, to quit the mere surface of the deportment of Glen, and penetrate beneath its brocaded vesture; there Pierre sometimes seemed to see the long-lurking and yet unhealed wound of all a rejected lover’s most rankling detestation of a supplanting rival, only intensified by their former friendship, and the unimpairable blood-relation between them. Now, viewed by the light of this master-solution, all the singular enigmas in Glen; his capriciousness in the matter of the epistolary—“Dear Pierres” and “Dearest Pierres;” the mercurial fall from the fever-heat of cordiality, to below the Zero of indifference; then the contrary rise to fever-heat; and, above all, his emphatic redundancy of devotion so soon as the positive espousals of Pierre seemed on the point of consummation; thus read, all these riddles apparently found their cunning solution. For the deeper that some men feel a secret and poignant feeling, the higher they pile the belying surfaces. The friendly deportment of Glen then was to be considered as in direct proportion to his hoarded hate; and the climax of that hate was evinced in throwing open his house to the bride. Yet if hate was the abstract cause, hate could not be the immediate motive of the conduct of Glen. Is hate so hospitable? The immediate motive of Glen then must be the intense desire to disguise from the wide world, a fact unspeakably humiliating to his gold-laced and haughty soul: the fact that in the profoundest desire of his heart, Pierre had so victoriously supplanted him. Yet was it that very artful deportment in Glen, which Glen profoundly assumed to this grand end; that consummately artful deportment it was, which first obtruded upon Pierre the surmise, which by that identical method his cousin was so absorbedly intent upon rendering impossible to him. Hence we here see that as in the negative way the secrecy of any strong emotion is exceedingly difficult to be kept lastingly private to one’s own bosom by any human being; so it is one of the most fruitless undertakings in the world, to attempt by affirmative assumptions to tender to men, the precisely opposite emotion as yours. Therefore the final wisdom decrees, that if you have aught which you desire to keep a secret to yourself, be a Quietist there, and do and say nothing at all about it. For among all the poor chances, this is the least poor. Pretensions and substitutions are only the recourse of under-graduates in the science of the world; in which science, on his own ground, my Lord Chesterfield, is the poorest possible preceptor. The earliest instinct of the child, and the ripest experience of age, unite in affirming simplicity to be the truest and profoundest part for man. Likewise this simplicity is so universal and all-containing as a rule for human life, that the subtlest bad man, and the purest good man, as well as the profoundest wise man, do all alike present it on that side which they socially turn to the inquisitive and unscrupulous world.

If Pierre looked at how Glen acted toward him on the surface, he couldn’t find any reason to entertain his suspicions. Can jealousy really be that friendly and welcome the bride? But if Pierre went deeper than Glen’s surface behavior and looked beneath his polished exterior, he sometimes thought he could see the lingering, unhealed wound of a rejected lover’s intense resentment toward a rival, worsened by their past friendship and their unbreakable family ties. When viewed through this lens, all of Glen's strange behavior made sense; his varying tone in letters—shifting from “Dear Pierres” to “Dearest Pierres” and then fluctuating from warm friendliness to cold indifference, then back to warmth—seemed to reflect his internal conflicts. Most telling was his excessive display of devotion right when Pierre's marriage plans were becoming serious. This all indicated that the more some men wrestle with strong feelings, the more they mask them with false appearances. So, Glen’s friendly behavior seemed to correspond directly to his hidden hatred, which peaked when he welcomed the bride into his home. However, while hatred might be the underlying cause, it couldn’t be the direct reason for Glen's actions. Could hate really be so welcoming? Therefore, Glen's immediate motivation must have been his intense desire to hide from the world an incredibly humiliating truth: that, in the deepest part of him, Pierre had successfully taken his place. Yet, it was precisely this clever facade that Glen wore to achieve his goal that first planted the seed of doubt in Pierre’s mind, a sentiment Glen was desperately trying to prevent. This shows that it’s incredibly hard for anyone to keep a strong emotion wholly to themselves; likewise, trying to project the opposite feeling through displays of confidence is often futile. The best advice is that if you want to keep something a secret, it’s best to stay quiet and say nothing about it. Among all unfortunate options, this is the least unfortunate. Pretense and substitution are just tactics of amateurs in the game of life, and my Lord Chesterfield is not the best teacher in that field. The instinct of children and the wisdom of the elderly both agree that simplicity is the most genuine and profound aspect of being human. This simplicity is so universal that even the most cunning villain and the purest hero, as well as the wisest person, all show it to the world they interact with.


III.

NOW the matter of the house had remained in precisely the above-stated awaiting predicament, down to the time of Pierre’s great life-revolution, the receipt of Isabel’s letter. And though, indeed, Pierre could not but naturally hesitate at still accepting the use of the dwelling, under the widely different circumstances in which he now found himself; and though at first the strongest possible spontaneous objections on the ground of personal independence, pride, and general scorn, all clamorously declared in his breast against such a course; yet, finally, the same uncompunctuous, ever-adaptive sort of motive which had induced his original acceptation, prompted him, in the end, still to maintain it unrevoked. It would at once set him at rest from all immediate tribulations of mere bed and board; and by affording him a shelter, for an indefinite term, enable him the better to look about him, and consider what could best be done to further the permanent comfort of those whom Fate had intrusted to his charge.

NOW the situation with the house had remained exactly as stated, waiting, until the moment of Pierre’s major life change when he received Isabel’s letter. And even though Pierre couldn't help but hesitate to accept the use of the house again, given the vastly different circumstances he found himself in, and although his initial, intense objections—rooted in personal independence, pride, and general disdain—loudly protested against such a decision, ultimately, the same untroubled and adaptable motivation that had led him to originally accept it prompted him to keep it after all. It would immediately relieve him from all the immediate worries of just having a place to sleep and eat; and by providing him with shelter for an undefined period, it would allow him to better assess his situation and consider how to best ensure the long-term comfort of those entrusted to his care.

Irrespective, it would seem, of that wide general awaking of his profounder being, consequent upon the extraordinary trials he had so aggregatively encountered of late; the thought was indignantly suggested to him, that the world must indeed be organically despicable, if it held that an offer, superfluously accepted in the hour of his abundance, should now, be rejected in that of his utmost need. And without at all imputing any singularity of benevolent-mindedness to his cousin, he did not for a moment question, that under the changed aspect of affairs, Glen would at least pretend the more eagerly to welcome him to the house, now that the mere thing of apparent courtesy had become transformed into something like a thing of positive and urgent necessity. When Pierre also considered that not himself only was concerned, but likewise two peculiarly helpless fellow-beings, one of them bound to him from the first by the most sacred ties, and lately inspiring an emotion which passed all human precedent in its mixed and mystical import; these added considerations completely overthrew in Pierre all remaining dictates of his vague pride and false independence, if such indeed had ever been his.

Regardless of the profound awakening he had experienced due to the extraordinary challenges he faced lately, he indignantly thought that the world must truly be wretched if it believed that an offer, accepted during his abundance, should now be rejected in his time of desperate need. Without attributing any particular kindness to his cousin, he had no doubt that under the new circumstances, Glen would at least pretend to welcome him into the house, now that what had once seemed a mere act of courtesy had turned into something resembling an urgent necessity. When Pierre also realized that it wasn’t just about him, but also about two particularly helpless beings—one of whom was bound to him by the most sacred ties and recently stirred emotions in him that surpassed all human precedent in their complexity and mystical significance—these additional thoughts completely overwhelmed whatever vague pride or false independence he might have had.

Though the interval elapsing between his decision to depart with his companions for the city, and his actual start in the coach, had not enabled him to receive any replying word from his cousin; and though Pierre knew better than to expect it; yet a preparative letter to him he had sent; and did not doubt that this proceeding would prove well-advised in the end.

Though the time that passed between his decision to leave with his friends for the city and his actual departure in the coach hadn't given him a chance to hear back from his cousin—and Pierre knew better than to expect a reply—he had sent a preparatory letter to him and had no doubt that this move would turn out to be a wise one in the end.

In naturally strong-minded men, however young and inexperienced in some things, those great and sudden emergencies, which but confound the timid and the weak, only serve to call forth all their generous latentness, and teach them, as by inspiration, extraordinary maxims of conduct, whose counterpart, in other men, is only the result of a long, variously-tried and pains-taking life. One of those maxims is, that when, through whatever cause, we are suddenly translated from opulence to need, or from a fair fame to a foul; and straightway it becomes necessary not to contradict the thing—so far at least as the mere imputation goes,—to some one previously entertaining high conventional regard for us, and from whom we would now solicit some genuine helping offices; then, all explanation or palation should be scorned; promptness, boldness, utter gladiatorianism, and a defiant non-humility should mark every syllable we breathe, and every line we trace.

In strong-minded people, no matter how young or inexperienced they may be, those intense and sudden situations that confuse the timid and weak only bring out their hidden potential and inspire them with extraordinary principles for action. These principles, for others, often come only after a long life of varied experiences and hard work. One of these principles is that when we find ourselves suddenly going from wealth to need, or from a good reputation to a bad one; it becomes essential not to deny this change—at least not to someone who previously held us in high regard and from whom we are now seeking genuine help. In that case, we should reject any explanations or excuses; instead, we should approach every word we speak and every action we take with promptness, courage, a fighting spirit, and a bold refusal to be humble.

The preparative letter of Pierre to Glen, plunged at once into the very heart of the matter, and was perhaps the briefest letter he had ever written him. Though by no means are such characteristics invariable exponents of the predominant mood or general disposition of a man (since so accidental a thing as a numb finger, or a bad quill, or poor ink, or squalid paper, or a rickety desk may produce all sorts of modifications), yet in the present instance, the handwriting of Pierre happened plainly to attest and corroborate the spirit of his communication. The sheet was large; but the words were placarded upon it in heavy though rapid lines, only six or eight to the page. And as the footman of a haughty visitor—some Count or Duke—announces the chariot of his lord by a thunderous knock on the portal; so to Glen did Pierre, in the broad, sweeping, and prodigious superscription of his letter, forewarn him what manner of man was on the road.

The letter Pierre wrote to Glen got straight to the point and was probably the shortest letter he had ever sent him. Although such traits don’t always reflect a person’s mood or overall state of mind—since something random like a numb finger, a bad pen, poor ink, cheap paper, or a shaky desk can cause all sorts of changes—in this case, Pierre's handwriting clearly matched the tone of his message. The page was large, but the words were written in bold, quick strokes, only six or eight lines per page. Just like a footman announces the arrival of a high-ranking guest—like a Count or a Duke—with a loud knock at the door, Pierre’s grand, sweeping address on the letter warned Glen about the kind of person who was coming.

In the moment of strong feeling a wonderful condensativeness points the tongue and pen; so that ideas, then enunciated sharp and quick as minute-guns, in some other hour of unruffledness or unstimulatedness, require considerable time and trouble to verbally recall.

In a moment of intense emotion, the tongue and pen become wonderfully concise; ideas expressed then echo sharply and quickly, like a series of small cannon blasts. Later, in a calmer or less inspired moment, it takes a lot of time and effort to express those same thoughts verbally.

Not here and now can we set down the precise contents of Pierre’s letter, without a tautology illy doing justice to the ideas themselves. And though indeed the dread of tautology be the continual torment of some earnest minds, and, as such, is surely a weakness in them; and though no wise man will wonder at conscientious Virgil all eager at death to burn his Æniad for a monstrous heap of inefficient superfluity; yet not to dread tautology at times only belongs to those enviable dunces, whom the partial God hath blessed, over all the earth, with the inexhaustible self-riches of vanity, and folly, and a blind self-complacency.

We can't lay out the exact content of Pierre’s letter here and now without repeating ourselves and not truly capturing the ideas. While the fear of repetition is a constant struggle for some serious thinkers—and is definitely a flaw in their reasoning—no wise person would be surprised to see Virgil, anxious about death, wanting to burn his Aeneid for being a massive collection of unnecessary excess. But only those lucky fools, whom the partial God has blessed with endless self-satisfied vanity, ignorance, and blind arrogance, are free from the fear of redundancy.

Some rumor of the discontinuance of his betrothment to Lucy Tartan; of his already consummated marriage with a poor and friendless orphan; of his mother’s disowning him consequent upon these events; such rumors, Pierre now wrote to his cousin, would very probably, in the parlors of his city-relatives and acquaintances, precede his arrival in town. But he hinted no word of any possible commentary on these things. He simply went on to say, that now, through the fortune of life—which was but the proverbially unreliable fortune of war—he was, for the present, thrown entirely upon his own resources, both for his own support and that of his wife, as well as for the temporary maintenance of a girl, whom he had lately had excellent reason for taking under his especial protection. He proposed a permanent residence in the city; not without some nearly quite settled plans as to the procuring of a competent income, without any ulterior reference to any member of their wealthy and widely ramified family. The house, whose temporary occupancy Glen had before so handsomely proffered him, would now be doubly and trebly desirable to him. But the pre-engaged servants, and the old china, and the old silver, and the old wines, and the Mocha, were now become altogether unnecessary. Pierre would merely take the place—for a short interval—of the worthy old clerk; and, so far as Glen was concerned, simply stand guardian of the dwelling, till his plans were matured. His cousin had originally made his most bounteous overture, to welcome the coming of the presumed bride of Pierre; and though another lady had now taken her place at the altar, yet Pierre would still regard the offer of Glen as impersonal in that respect, and bearing equal reference to any young lady, who should prove her claim to the possessed hand of Pierre.

Some rumors about the end of his engagement to Lucy Tartan, about his already completed marriage to a poor and friendless orphan, and about his mother disowning him because of these events; Pierre now wrote to his cousin, these rumors would likely circulate among his city relatives and acquaintances before he even arrived in town. But he didn’t mention any possible commentary on these matters. He simply went on to say that now, due to the twists of life—which were as unreliable as the fortune of war—he was currently relying entirely on his own resources for his support, that of his wife, and for the temporary care of a girl he had recently taken under his protection. He proposed to settle permanently in the city, with some fairly solid plans for securing a decent income, without any expectation of assistance from their wealthy and well-connected family. The house that Glen had generously offered him for temporary use would now be even more appealing. However, the pre-hired staff, the old china, the old silver, the old wines, and the Mocha were no longer needed. Pierre would simply take the place—though briefly—of the reliable old clerk; and, as far as Glen was concerned, he would just serve as a guardian of the house until his plans were in place. His cousin had originally made his generous offer to welcome the expected bride of Pierre; and though another woman had now taken her place at the altar, Pierre would still view Glen's offer as neutral in that regard, applicable to any young woman who could claim Pierre's hand.

Since there was no universal law of opinion in such matters, Glen, on general worldly grounds, might not consider the real Mrs. Glendinning altogether so suitable a match for Pierre, as he possibly might have held numerous other young ladies in his eye: nevertheless, Glen would find her ready to return with sincerity all his cousinly regard and attention. In conclusion, Pierre said, that he and his party meditated an immediate departure, and would very probably arrive in town in eight-and-forty hours after the mailing of the present letter. He therefore begged Glen to see the more indispensable domestic appliances of the house set in some little order against their arrival; to have the rooms aired and lighted; and also forewarn the confidential clerk of what he might soon expect. Then, without any tapering sequel of—“Yours, very truly and faithfully, my dear Cousin Glen,” he finished the letter with the abrupt and isolated signature of—“PIERRE.”

Since there was no universal standard for opinions on such matters, Glen, based on general social norms, might not view the real Mrs. Glendinning as the best match for Pierre, as he might have considered many other young ladies. However, Glen would find her genuinely ready to reciprocate all his cousinly affection and attention. In closing, Pierre mentioned that he and his group planned to leave immediately and would likely reach the city within forty-eight hours after sending this letter. He asked Glen to arrange the essential household items in a bit of order before their arrival; to air out and light the rooms; and to inform the trusted clerk about what to expect soon. Then, without any drawn-out conclusion of—“Yours, very truly and faithfully, my dear Cousin Glen,” he ended the letter with the abrupt and solitary signature of—“PIERRE.”

BOOK XVI.
FIRST NIGHT OF THEIR ARRIVAL IN THE CITY.

I.

THE stage was belated.

The stage was late.

The country road they traveled entered the city by a remarkably wide and winding street, a great thoroughfare for its less opulent inhabitants. There was no moon and few stars. It was that preluding hour of the night when the shops are just closing, and the aspect of almost every wayfarer, as he passes through the unequal light reflected from the windows, speaks of one hurrying not abroad, but homeward. Though the thoroughfare was winding, yet no sweep that it made greatly obstructed its long and imposing vista; so that when the coach gained the top of the long and very gradual slope running toward the obscure heart of the town, and the twinkling perspective of two long and parallel rows of lamps was revealed—lamps which seemed not so much intended to dispel the general gloom, as to show some dim path leading through it, into some gloom still deeper beyond—when the coach gained this critical point, the whole vast triangular town, for a moment, seemed dimly and despondently to capitulate to the eye.

The country road they traveled led into the city via a surprisingly wide and winding street, a major route for its less affluent residents. There was no moon and only a few stars in the sky. It was that time of night when shops were just closing, and the expression of almost every passerby, as they walked through the uneven light reflecting off the windows, suggested someone rushing not out, but homeward. Although the thoroughfare was winding, its curves didn’t significantly block the long and impressive view; so when the coach reached the top of the long, gradual slope heading toward the hidden center of the town, and the twinkling sight of two long and parallel rows of lamps came into view—lamps that seemed less about lighting up the overall darkness and more about revealing a faint path through it, leading into an even deeper darkness beyond—when the coach hit this pivotal point, the entire large triangular town, for a moment, appeared dimly and sadly to surrender to sight.

And now, ere descending the gradually-sloping declivity, and just on its summit as it were, the inmates of the coach, by numerous hard, painful joltings, and ponderous, dragging trundlings, are suddenly made sensible of some great change in the character of the road. The coach seems rolling over cannon-balls of all calibers. Grasping Pierre’s arm, Isabel eagerly and forebodingly demands what is the cause of this most strange and unpleasant transition.

And now, just before going down the gently sloping hill, at its peak, the passengers in the coach, jolted by a series of hard, painful bumps and heavy, dragging movements, suddenly notice a significant change in the condition of the road. The coach feels like it's rolling over cannonballs of various sizes. Grabbing Pierre’s arm, Isabel anxiously asks what is causing this strange and uncomfortable shift.

“The pavements, Isabel; this is the town.”

“The sidewalks, Isabel; this is the town.”

Isabel was silent.

Isabel was quiet.

But, the first time for many weeks, Delly voluntarily spoke:

But for the first time in many weeks, Delly spoke up on her own:

“It feels not so soft as the green sward, Master Pierre.”

“It doesn’t feel as soft as the green grass, Master Pierre.”

“No, Miss Ulver,” said Pierre, very bitterly, “the buried hearts of some dead citizens have perhaps come to the surface.”

“No, Miss Ulver,” Pierre said, very bitterly, “the buried hearts of some dead citizens might have finally surfaced.”

“Sir?” said Delly.

“Excuse me?” said Delly.

“And are they so hard-hearted here?” asked Isabel.

“Are they really that hard-hearted here?” asked Isabel.

“Ask yonder pavements, Isabel. Milk dropt from the milkman’s can in December, freezes not more quickly on those stones, than does snow-white innocence, if in poverty, it chance to fall in these streets.”

“Ask those pavements, Isabel. Milk dropped from the milkman’s can in December doesn’t freeze on those stones any faster than pure innocence does when it happens to fall in these streets out of poverty.”

“Then God help my hard fate, Master Pierre,” sobbed Delly. “Why didst thou drag hither a poor outcast like me?”

“Then God help my tough situation, Master Pierre,” Delly sobbed. “Why did you bring a poor outcast like me here?”

“Forgive me, Miss Ulver,” exclaimed Pierre, with sudden warmth, and yet most marked respect; “forgive me; never yet have I entered the city by night, but, somehow, it made me feel both bitter and sad. Come, be cheerful, we shall soon be comfortably housed, and have our comfort all to ourselves; the old clerk I spoke to you about, is now doubtless ruefully eying his hat on the peg. Come, cheer up, Isabel;—’tis a long ride, but here we are, at last. Come! ’Tis not very far now to our welcome.”

“Forgive me, Miss Ulver,” Pierre said warmly yet respectfully. “Forgive me; I’ve never entered the city at night before, but it made me feel both bitter and sad. Come on, be cheerful; we’ll be comfortably settled soon, and we’ll have our privacy. The old clerk I mentioned is probably regretting his hat hanging on the hook. Come on, Isabel; it’s been a long ride, but we’re finally here. Come on! It’s not too far now to our welcoming.”

“I hear a strange shuffling and clattering,” said Delly, with a shudder.

“I hear a weird shuffling and clattering,” Delly said, shuddering.

“It does not seem so light as just now,” said Isabel.

“It doesn’t seem as bright as it did just now,” said Isabel.

“Yes,” returned Pierre, “it is the shop-shutters being put on; it is the locking, and bolting, and barring of windows and doors; the town’s-people are going to their rest.”

“Yes,” replied Pierre, “it’s the shop shutters being closed; it’s the locking, bolting, and barring of windows and doors; the townspeople are settling in for the night.”

“Please God they may find it!” sighed Delly.

“Please God they find it!” sighed Delly.

“They lock and bar out, then, when they rest, do they, Pierre?” said Isabel.

“They lock and bar the doors, right? Then when they take a break, do they, Pierre?” said Isabel.

“Yes, and you were thinking that does not bode well for the welcome I spoke of.”

"Yeah, and you thought that doesn’t look good for the welcome I mentioned."

“Thou read’st all my soul; yes, I was thinking of that. But whither lead these long, narrow, dismal side-glooms we pass every now and then? What are they? They seem terribly still. I see scarce any body in them;—there’s another, now. See how haggardly look its criss-cross, far-separate lamps.—What are these side-glooms, dear Pierre; whither lead they?”

“You read my mind; yes, I was thinking about that. But where do these long, narrow, gloomy side alleys we pass every now and then lead? What are they? They seem so silent. I hardly see anyone in them; there’s another one now. Look how worn out its criss-cross, distant lamps look. What are these side alleys, dear Pierre; where do they lead?”

“They are the thin tributaries, sweet Isabel, to the great Oronoco thoroughfare we are in; and like true tributaries, they come from the far-hidden places; from under dark beetling secrecies of mortar and stone; through the long marsh-grasses of villainy, and by many a transplanted bough-beam, where the wretched have hung.”

“They are the narrow streams, sweet Isabel, flowing into the great Oronoco road we’re on; and like real tributaries, they come from remote hidden spots; from beneath dark, looming secrets of mortar and stone; through the long marsh grasses of wrongdoing, and by many a uprooted branch, where the unfortunate have hung.”

“I know nothing of these things, Pierre. But I like not the town. Think’st thou, Pierre, the time will ever come when all the earth shall be paved?”

“I don’t know anything about these things, Pierre. But I don’t like the town. Do you think, Pierre, that there will ever be a time when the whole earth is paved?”

“Thank God, that never can be!”

“Thank God, that can never happen!”

“These silent side-glooms are horrible;—look! Methinks, not for the world would I turn into one.”

“These quiet shadows are terrifying;—look! I really wouldn't want to enter one for anything in the world.”

That moment the nigh fore-wheel sharply grated under the body of the coach.

That moment, the front wheel of the coach screeched sharply against the ground.

“Courage!” cried Pierre, “we are in it!—Not so very solitary either; here comes a traveler.”

“Courage!” shouted Pierre, “we’re in this!—Not so alone either; here comes a traveler.”

“Hark, what is that?” said Delly, “that keen iron-ringing sound? It passed us just now.”

“Hear that?” Delly said, “What’s that sharp, metallic ringing noise? It just went by us.”

“The keen traveler,” said Pierre, “he has steel plates to his boot-heels;—some tender-souled elder son, I suppose.”

“The eager traveler,” said Pierre, “he has steel plates on his boot heels;—some sensitive older son, I guess.”

“Pierre,” said Isabel, “this silence is unnatural, is fearful. The forests are never so still.”

“Pierre,” Isabel said, “this silence is unnatural, it’s alarming. The forests are never this still.”

“Because brick and mortar have deeper secrets than wood or fell, sweet Isabel. But here we turn again; now if I guess right, two more turns will bring us to the door. Courage, all will be well; doubtless he has prepared a famous supper. Courage, Isabel. Come, shall it be tea or coffee? Some bread, or crisp toast? We’ll have eggs, too; and some cold chicken, perhaps.”—Then muttering to himself—“I hope not that, either; no cold collations! there’s too much of that in these paving-stones here, set out for the famishing beggars to eat. No. I won’t have the cold chicken.” Then aloud—“But here we turn again; yes, just as I thought. Ho, driver!” (thrusting his head out of the window) “to the right! to the right! it should be on the right! the first house with a light on the right!”

“Because brick and mortar hold deeper secrets than wood or stone, sweet Isabel. But let’s turn again; if I’m right, a couple more turns will take us to the door. Stay strong, everything will be fine; he’s surely prepared a fantastic dinner. Come on, Isabel, should we have tea or coffee? Maybe some bread or crispy toast? We’ll have eggs, too; and perhaps some cold chicken.” —Then muttering to himself—“I hope not that; no cold dishes! There’s too much of that around here, laid out for starving beggars to eat. No. I won’t have the cold chicken.” Then loud—“But here we turn again; yes, just as I thought. Hey, driver!” (leaning his head out of the window) “To the right! to the right! It should be on the right! The first house with a light on the right!”

“No lights yet but the street’s,” answered the surly voice of the driver.

“No lights yet, but the street’s,” replied the grumpy voice of the driver.

“Stupid! he has passed it—yes, yes—he has! Ho! ho! stop; turn back. Have you not passed lighted windows?”

“Stupid! He’s gone past it—yeah, he really has! Hey! Wait; turn back. Haven’t you seen the lit windows?”

“No lights but the street’s,” was the rough reply. “What’s the number? the number? Don’t keep me beating about here all night! The number, I say!”

“No lights but the street’s,” was the gruff reply. “What’s the number? The number? Don’t make me wander around here all night! The number, I’m asking!”

“I do not know it,” returned Pierre; “but I well know the house; you must have passed it, I repeat. You must turn back. Surely you have passed lighted windows?”

“I don't know it,” Pierre replied, “but I definitely know the house; you must have passed it, I'm telling you. You need to turn back. Surely you saw some lighted windows?”

“Then them lights must burn black; there’s no lighted windows in the street; I knows the city; old maids lives here, and they are all to bed; rest is warehouses.”

“Then those lights must be off; there aren’t any lit windows on the street; I know the city; old maids live here, and they’re all in bed; the rest are warehouses.”

“Will you stop the coach, or not?” cried Pierre, now incensed at his surliness in continuing to drive on.

“Will you stop the coach or not?” yelled Pierre, now furious at his grumpiness in keeping on driving.

“I obeys orders: the first house with a light; and ’cording to my reck’ning—though to be sure, I don’t know nothing of the city where I was born and bred all my life—no, I knows nothing at all about it—’cording to my reck’ning, the first light in this here street will be the watch-house of the ward—yes, there it is—all right! cheap lodgings ye’ve engaged—nothing to pay, and wictuals in.”

“I follow orders: the first house with a light; and according to my calculations—though I really know nothing about the city where I was born and raised all my life—no, I really don’t know anything about it—according to my calculations, the first light on this street will be the watch-house of the ward—yes, there it is—all right! cheap lodging you’ve booked—nothing to pay, and meals included.”

To certain temperaments, especially when previously agitated by any deep feeling, there is perhaps nothing more exasperating, and which sooner explodes all self-command, than the coarse, jeering insolence of a porter, cabman, or hack-driver. Fetchers and carriers of the worst city infamy as many of them are; professionally familiar with the most abandoned haunts; in the heart of misery, they drive one of the most mercenary of all the trades of guilt. Day-dozers and sluggards on their lazy boxes in the sunlight, and felinely wakeful and cat-eyed in the dark; most habituated to midnight streets, only trod by sneaking burglars, wantons, and debauchees; often in actual pandering league with the most abhorrent sinks; so that they are equally solicitous and suspectful that every customer they encounter in the dark, will prove a profligate or a knave; this hideous tribe of ogres, and Charon ferry-men to corruption and death, naturally slide into the most practically Calvinistical view of humanity, and hold every man at bottom a fit subject for the coarsest ribaldry and jest; only fine coats and full pockets can whip such mangy hounds into decency. The least impatience, any quickness of temper, a sharp remonstrating word from a customer in a seedy coat, or betraying any other evidence of poverty, however minute and indirect (for in that pecuniary respect they are the most piercing and infallible of all the judgers of men), will be almost sure to provoke, in such cases, their least endurable disdain.

For certain personalities, especially when they’re already feeling intense emotions, nothing is more frustrating and likely to make them lose their cool than the rude, mocking arrogance of a porter, cab driver, or taxi driver. Many of these individuals are known for their disreputable behavior, regularly frequenting the worst parts of the city; in the midst of suffering, they practice one of the most corrupt industries. They lounge lazily in the sun on their cabs, but are alert and watchful at night; used to the midnight streets, which are only walked by sneaky burglars, promiscuous individuals, and the debauched; often they are uncomfortably close to the most disgusting places; and so they anxiously suspect that every customer they pick up at night will be either a lowlife or a trickster. This dreadful group of characters, akin to ogres or the ferry-men of despair and vice, naturally develops a deeply cynical view of humanity, believing that every man is ultimately deserving of the roughest mockery and jokes; only fancy clothes and full wallets can coax these scrappy dogs into behaving decently. The slightest annoyance, any quick temper, or a sharp word from a customer in shabby clothes, or even the faintest sign of poverty (because when it comes to money, they are the most acute and accurate judges of character), will almost certainly trigger their most unbearable contempt.

Perhaps it was the unconscious transfer to the stage-driver of some such ideas as these, which now prompted the highly irritated Pierre to an act, which, in a more benignant hour, his better reason would have restrained him from.

Perhaps it was the unconscious transfer to the stage-driver of some ideas like these that now pushed the very irritated Pierre to do something that, at a better time, his clearer judgment would have held him back from.

He did not see the light to which the driver had referred; and was heedless, in his sudden wrath, that the coach was now going slower in approaching it. Ere Isabel could prevent him, he burst open the door, and leaping to the pavement, sprang ahead of the horses, and violently reined back the leaders by their heads. The driver seized his four-in-hand whip, and with a volley of oaths was about striking out its long, coiling lash at Pierre, when his arm was arrested by a policeman, who suddenly leaping on the stayed coach, commanded him to keep the peace.

He didn’t see the light the driver mentioned and, in his sudden anger, didn’t realize that the coach was slowing down as it approached. Before Isabel could stop him, he threw open the door, jumped onto the pavement, and rushed in front of the horses, forcefully pulling back the leaders by their heads. The driver grabbed his four-in-hand whip and, cursing up a storm, was about to swing the long, coiled lash at Pierre when a police officer jumped onto the stopped coach and ordered him to calm down.

“Speak! what is the difficulty here? Be quiet, ladies, nothing serious has happened. Speak you!”

“Speak! What's the problem here? Quiet down, ladies, nothing serious has happened. You speak!”

“Pierre! Pierre!” cried the alarmed Isabel. In an instant Pierre was at her side by the window; and now turning to the officer, explained to him that the driver had persisted in passing the house at which he was ordered to stop.

“Pierre! Pierre!” yelled the worried Isabel. In no time, Pierre was by her side at the window; and then, turning to the officer, he explained that the driver had stubbornly continued past the house where he was supposed to stop.

“Then he shall turn to the right about with you, sir;—in double quick time too; do ye hear? I know you rascals well enough. Turn about, you sir, and take the gentleman where he directed.”

“Then he will turn to the right with you, sir;—and quickly too; do you understand? I know you troublemakers well enough. Turn around, you sir, and take the gentleman where he asked.”

The cowed driver was beginning a long string of criminating explanations, when turning to Pierre, the policeman calmly desired him to re-enter the coach; he would see him safely at his destination; and then seating himself beside the driver on the box, commanded him to tell the number given him by the gentleman.

The scared driver was starting to give a long list of excuses when the policeman calmly told Pierre to get back into the coach; he would make sure he got to his destination safely. Then, sitting next to the driver on the box, he ordered him to share the number the gentleman had given him.

“He don’t know no numbers—didn’t I say he didn’t—that’s what I got mad about.”

“He doesn’t know any numbers—didn’t I say he didn’t—that’s what I got angry about.”

“Be still”—said the officer. “Sir”—turning round and addressing Pierre within; “where do you wish to go?”

“Be still,” said the officer. “Sir,” turning around and addressing Pierre inside, “where do you want to go?”

“I do not know the number, but it is a house in this street; we have passed it; it is, I think, the fourth or fifth house this side of the last corner we turned. It must be lighted up too. It is the small old-fashioned dwelling with stone lion-heads above the windows. But make him turn round, and drive slowly, and I will soon point it out.”

“I don’t know the exact number, but it’s a house on this street; we’ve passed it. I think it’s the fourth or fifth house on this side of the last corner we turned. It should be lit up too. It’s the small, old-fashioned house with stone lion heads above the windows. But have him turn around and drive slowly, and I’ll point it out soon.”

“Can’t see lions in the dark”—growled the driver—“lions; ha! ha! jackasses more likely!”

“Can’t see lions in the dark,” the driver growled. “Lions? Ha! More like jackasses!”

“Look you,” said the officer, “I shall see you tightly housed this night, my fine fellow, if you don’t cease your jabber. Sir,” he added, resuming with Pierre, “I am sure there is some mistake here. I perfectly well know now the house you mean. I passed it within the last half-hour; all as quiet there as ever. No one lives there, I think; I never saw a light in it. Are you not mistaken in something, then?”

“Listen,” said the officer, “I’ll make sure you’re locked up tonight, my good man, if you don’t stop your chattering. Sir,” he continued, turning to Pierre, “I’m sure there’s been some mistake. I know the house you’re talking about very well. I just passed it half an hour ago; it was as quiet as ever. I don’t think anyone lives there; I’ve never seen a light on inside. Are you sure you’re not mistaken about something?”

Pierre paused in perplexity and foreboding. Was it possible that Glen had willfully and utterly neglected his letter? Not possible. But it might not have come to his hand; the mails sometimes delayed. Then again, it was not wholly out of the question, that the house was prepared for them after all, even though it showed no outward sign. But that was not probable. At any rate, as the driver protested, that his four horses and lumbering vehicle could not turn short round in that street; and that if he must go back, it could only be done by driving on, and going round the block, and so retracing his road; and as after such a procedure, on his part, then in case of a confirmed disappointment respecting the house, the driver would seem warranted, at least in some of his unmannerliness; and as Pierre loathed the villain altogether, therefore, in order to run no such risks, he came to a sudden determination on the spot.

Pierre paused in confusion and unease. Could it be that Glen had completely ignored his letter? That didn't seem possible. But maybe it hadn't reached him; the mail sometimes got delayed. Then again, it wasn't out of the question that the house was ready for them after all, even if there were no signs of it. But that seemed unlikely. In any case, the driver insisted that his four horses and heavy vehicle couldn't turn around in that street, and that if they had to go back, they could only do it by driving on and going around the block to retrace their route. After that, if there was still a confirmed disappointment about the house, the driver would seem justified in some of his rudeness; and since Pierre completely disliked the guy, he suddenly made a quick decision right there.

“I owe you very much, my good friend,” said he to the officer, “for your timely assistance. To be frank, what you have just told me has indeed perplexed me not a little concerning the place where I proposed to stop. Is there no hotel in this neighborhood, where I could leave these ladies while I seek my friend?”

“I really appreciate it, my good friend,” he said to the officer, “for your timely help. Honestly, what you just told me has really confused me about where I planned to stay. Is there no hotel nearby where I could leave these ladies while I look for my friend?”

Wonted to all manner of deceitfulness, and engaged in a calling which unavoidably makes one distrustful of mere appearances, however specious, however honest; the really good-hearted officer, now eyed Pierre in the dubious light with a most unpleasant scrutiny; and he abandoned the “Sir,” and the tone of his voice sensibly changed, as he replied:—“There is no hotel in this neighborhood; it is too off the thoroughfares.”

Used to all kinds of deception and involved in a job that inevitably makes one suspicious of appearances, no matter how convincing or seemingly honest, the genuinely good-hearted officer now looked at Pierre with a critical gaze that felt uncomfortable. He dropped the “Sir,” and his tone of voice noticeably shifted as he replied:—“There’s no hotel around here; it’s too far from the main roads.”

“Come! come!”—cried the driver, now growing bold again—“though you’re an officer, I’m a citizen for all that. You haven’t any further right to keep me out of my bed now. He don’t know where he wants to go to, cause he haint got no place at all to go to; so I’ll just dump him here, and you dar’n’t stay me.”

“Come on! Come on!” the driver shouted, feeling bolder now. “Even though you’re an officer, I’m still a citizen. You don’t have any right to keep me from my bed anymore. He doesn’t know where he wants to go because he doesn’t have anywhere to go, so I’ll just drop him off here, and you can’t stop me.”

“Don’t be impertinent now,” said the officer, but not so sternly as before.

“Don’t be rude now,” said the officer, though not as harshly as before.

“I’ll have my rights though, I tell you that! Leave go of my arm; damn ye, get off the box; I’ve the law now. I say mister, come tramp, here goes your luggage,” and so saying he dragged toward him a light trunk on the top of the stage.

“I’m claiming my rights, just so you know! Let go of my arm; damn it, get off the box; I’ve got the law on my side now. Hey, mister, come on, here goes your luggage,” and with that, he pulled a light trunk from the top of the stage toward him.

“Keep a clean tongue in ye now”—said the officer—“and don’t be in quite so great a hurry,” then addressing Pierre, who had now re-alighted from the coach—“Well, this can’t continue; what do you intend to do?”

“Keep a clean tongue now,” said the officer, “and don’t rush so much.” Then, turning to Pierre, who had just gotten down from the coach, he asked, “Well, this can’t go on; what do you plan to do?”

“Not to ride further with that man, at any rate,” said Pierre; “I will stop right here for the present.”

“I'm not riding any farther with that guy, anyway,” said Pierre; “I’ll stop right here for now.”

“He! he!” laughed the driver; “he! he! ’mazing ’commodating now—we hitches now, we do—stops right afore the watch-house—he! he!—that’s funny!”

“Ha! Ha!” laughed the driver; “Ha! Ha! Isn’t it amazing how accommodating we are now—we’re hitched now, we are—stops right in front of the watch-house—Ha! Ha!—that’s funny!”

“Off with the luggage then, driver,” said the policeman—“here hand the small trunk, and now away and unlash there behind.”

“Take away the luggage now, driver,” said the policeman—“here, hand over the small trunk, and now go ahead and untie that stuff in the back.”

During all this scene, Delly had remained perfectly silent in her trembling and rustic alarm; while Isabel, by occasional cries to Pierre, had vainly besought some explanation. But though their complete ignorance of city life had caused Pierre’s two companions to regard the scene thus far with too much trepidation; yet now, when in the obscurity of night, and in the heart of a strange town, Pierre handed them out of the coach into the naked street, and they saw their luggage piled so near the white light of a watch-house, the same ignorance, in some sort, reversed its effects on them; for they little fancied in what really untoward and wretched circumstances they first touched the flagging of the city.

During all this, Delly stayed completely quiet, trembling and anxious; while Isabel, with occasional shouts to Pierre, desperately sought some answers. But although their total lack of knowledge about city life made Pierre’s two companions react with too much fear up to this point, now, in the darkness of night and in the middle of an unfamiliar town, when Pierre helped them out of the coach onto the bare street, and they saw their luggage stacked so close to the bright light of a watch-house, that same ignorance kind of flipped its effects on them; they had no idea about the truly unfortunate and miserable circumstances under which they first stepped onto the city's pavement.

As the coach lumbered off, and went rolling into the wide murkiness beyond, Pierre spoke to the officer.

As the coach slowly drove away and disappeared into the thick darkness ahead, Pierre talked to the officer.

“It is a rather strange accident, I confess, my friend, but strange accidents will sometimes happen.”

“It’s a pretty weird accident, I admit, my friend, but weird things can happen sometimes.”

“In the best of families,” rejoined the other, a little ironically.

“In the best of families,” the other responded, a bit ironically.

Now, I must not quarrel with this man, thought Pierre to himself, stung at the officer’s tone. Then said:—“Is there any one in your—office?”

Now, I shouldn't argue with this guy, Pierre thought to himself, irritated by the officer's tone. Then he asked, “Is there anyone in your—office?”

“No one as yet—not late enough.”

"Not late enough for anyone."

“Will you have the kindness then to house these ladies there for the present, while I make haste to provide them with better lodgment? Lead on, if you please.”

“Could you please be kind enough to accommodate these ladies for now while I hurry to arrange better housing for them? Please, lead the way.”

The man seemed to hesitate a moment, but finally acquiesced; and soon they passed under the white light, and entered a large, plain, and most forbidding-looking room, with hacked wooden benches and bunks ranged along the sides, and a railing before a desk in one corner. The permanent keeper of the place was quietly reading a paper by the long central double bat’s-wing gas-light; and three officers off duty were nodding on a bench.

The man seemed to hesitate for a moment, but eventually agreed; and soon they walked under the bright light and entered a large, bare, and very unwelcoming room, with rough wooden benches and bunks lined up along the sides, and a railing in front of a desk in one corner. The permanent caretaker of the place was calmly reading a newspaper by the long central double gaslight; and three off-duty officers were dozing on a bench.

“Not very liberal accommodations”—said the officer, quietly; “nor always the best of company, but we try to be civil. Be seated, ladies,” politely drawing a small bench toward them.

“Not very comfortable accommodations,” said the officer quietly, “nor always the best company, but we do our best to be polite. Please take a seat, ladies,” he said, gently pulling a small bench toward them.

“Hallo, my friends,” said Pierre, approaching the nodding three beyond, and tapping them on the shoulder—“Hallo, I say! Will you do me a little favor? Will you help bring some trunks in from the street? I will satisfy you for your trouble, and be much obliged into the bargain.”

“Hey, my friends,” said Pierre, walking up to the three who were nodding, and tapping them on the shoulder—“Hey, I say! Can you do me a small favor? Can you help bring some trunks in from the street? I’ll make it worth your while and really appreciate it.”

Instantly the three noddies, used to sudden awakenings, opened their eyes, and stared hard; and being further enlightened by the bat’s-wings and first officer, promptly brought in the luggage as desired.

Instantly, the three noddies, accustomed to sudden awakenings, opened their eyes and stared intently; and with the help of the bat’s wings and the first officer, they quickly brought in the luggage as requested.

Pierre hurriedly sat down by Isabel, and in a few words gave her to understand, that she was now in a perfectly secure place, however unwelcoming; that the officers would take every care of her, while he made all possible speed in running to the house, and indubitably ascertaining how matters stood there. He hoped to be back in less than ten minutes with good tidings. Explaining his intention to the first officer, and begging him not to leave the girls till he should return, he forthwith sallied into the street. He quickly came to the house, and immediately identified it. But all was profoundly silent and dark. He rang the bell, but no answer; and waiting long enough to be certain, that either the house was indeed deserted, or else the old clerk was unawakeable or absent; and at all events, certain that no slightest preparation had been made for their arrival; Pierre, bitterly disappointed, returned to Isabel with this most unpleasant information.

Pierre quickly sat down next to Isabel and reassured her in a few words that she was now in a safe place, even if it didn’t feel welcoming. He told her the officers would take good care of her while he rushed to the house to find out what was happening there. He hoped to be back in less than ten minutes with good news. After explaining his plan to the first officer and asking him to stay with the girls until he returned, he headed out into the street. He soon arrived at the house and recognized it right away. But everything was eerily silent and dark. He rang the bell but got no answer; after waiting long enough to be sure that the house was either deserted, or the old clerk was either asleep or gone, he realized that there had not been any preparations made for their arrival. Bitterly disappointed, Pierre went back to Isabel with this troubling news.

Nevertheless something must be done, and quickly. Turning to one of the officers, he begged him to go and seek a hack, that the whole party might be taken to some respectable lodging. But the man, as well as his comrades, declined the errand on the score, that there was no stand on their beat, and they could not, on any account, leave their beat. So Pierre himself must go. He by no means liked to leave Isabel and Delly again, on an expedition which might occupy some time. But there seemed no resource, and time now imperiously pressed. Communicating his intention therefore to Isabel, and again entreating the officer’s particular services as before, and promising not to leave him unrequited; Pierre again sallied out. He looked up and down the street, and listened; but no sound of any approaching vehicle was audible. He ran on, and turning the first corner, bent his rapid steps toward the greatest and most central avenue of the city, assured that there, if anywhere, he would find what he wanted. It was some distance off; and he was not without hope that an empty hack would meet him ere he arrived there. But the few stray ones he encountered had all muffled fares. He continued on, and at last gained the great avenue. Not habitually used to such scenes, Pierre for a moment was surprised, that the instant he turned out of the narrow, and dark, and death-like bye-street, he should find himself suddenly precipitated into the not-yet-repressed noise and contention, and all the garish night-life of a vast thoroughfare, crowded and wedged by day, and even now, at this late hour, brilliant with occasional illuminations, and echoing to very many swift wheels and footfalls.

Nevertheless, something had to be done, and quickly. Turning to one of the officers, he asked him to find a cab so the whole group could be taken to a decent place to stay. But the officer and his colleagues refused, saying there was no taxi stand in their area and they couldn't leave their post for any reason. So Pierre had to go himself. He really didn't want to leave Isabel and Delly again on a task that could take a while. But there seemed to be no other option, and time was pressing. He informed Isabel of his plan, again asking the officer for his help as before and promising to compensate him later; Pierre set off. He looked up and down the street and listened, but there was no sound of any approaching vehicle. He ran on, and as he turned the first corner, he headed toward the busiest and most central avenue of the city, confident that he would find what he needed there. It was quite a distance away, and he held out hope that an empty cab would come his way before he got there. But the few cabs he passed all had passengers inside. He pressed on and finally reached the main avenue. Not used to such scenes, Pierre was momentarily taken aback that as soon as he emerged from the narrow, dark, and lifeless side street, he was suddenly thrown into the vibrant noise and activity and all the flashy nightlife of a bustling street, crowded during the day and even now, at this late hour, shining with occasional lights and filled with the sounds of swift wheels and footsteps.


II.

“I say, my pretty one! Dear! Dear! young man! Oh, love, you are in a vast hurry, aint you? Can’t you stop a bit, now, my dear: do—there’s a sweet fellow.”

“I say, my lovely one! Dear! Dear! young man! Oh, darling, you’re in such a rush, aren’t you? Can’t you pause for a moment, now, my dear: please—there’s a good fellow.”

Pierre turned; and in the flashing, sinister, evil cross-lights of a druggist’s window, his eye caught the person of a wonderfully beautifully-featured girl; scarlet-cheeked, glaringly-arrayed, and of a figure all natural grace but unnatural vivacity. Her whole form, however, was horribly lit by the green and yellow rays from the druggist’s.

Pierre turned, and in the flashing, sinister, and ominous lights of a drugstore window, his eye caught sight of an incredibly beautiful girl; with bright red cheeks, dressed in striking attire, and a figure that exuded natural grace but an unnatural energy. However, her entire form was cast in a terrible light by the green and yellow rays coming from the drugstore.

“My God!” shuddered Pierre, hurrying forward, “the town’s first welcome to youth!”

“My God!” shuddered Pierre, rushing ahead, “the town’s first welcome to youth!”

He was just crossing over to where a line of hacks were drawn up against the opposite curb, when his eye was arrested by a short, gilded name, rather reservedly and aristocratically denominating a large and very handsome house, the second story of which was profusely lighted. He looked up, and was very certain that in this house were the apartments of Glen. Yielding to a sudden impulse, he mounted the single step toward the door, and rang the bell, which was quickly responded to by a very civil black.

He was just crossing over to where a line of cabs were parked against the opposite curb, when his eye was drawn to a short, gilded name that rather discreetly and elegantly labeled a large and very attractive house, the second floor of which was brightly lit. He looked up and was quite sure that Glen lived in this house. Giving in to a sudden urge, he took the single step toward the door and rang the bell, which was quickly answered by a very polite Black man.

As the door opened, he heard the distant interior sound of dancing-music and merriment.

As the door opened, he heard the faint sound of dance music and laughter coming from inside.

“Is Mr. Stanly in?”

"Is Mr. Stanley here?"

“Mr. Stanly? Yes, but he’s engaged.”

“Mr. Stanly? Yes, but he’s busy.”

“How?”

“How?”

“He is somewhere in the drawing rooms. My mistress is giving a party to the lodgers.”

“He's somewhere in the living rooms. My boss is throwing a party for the tenants.”

“Ay? Tell Mr. Stanly I wish to see him for one moment if you please; only one moment.”

“Excuse me? Please tell Mr. Stanly I’d like to see him for just a moment, if you don’t mind; just one moment.”

“I dare not call him, sir. He said that possibly some one might call for him to-night—they are calling every night for Mr. Stanly—but I must admit no one, on the plea of the party.”

“I can’t call him, sir. He mentioned that someone might come looking for him tonight—they’re looking every night for Mr. Stanly—but I have to admit no one can, due to the party.”

A dark and bitter suspicion now darted through the mind of Pierre; and ungovernably yielding to it, and resolved to prove or falsify it without delay, he said to the black:

A dark and bitter suspicion now shot through Pierre's mind; and unable to control it, and determined to confirm or dismiss it right away, he said to the black:

“My business is pressing. I must see Mr. Stanly.”

“My business is urgent. I need to see Mr. Stanly.”

“I am sorry, sir, but orders are orders: I am his particular servant here—the one that sees his silver every holyday. I can’t disobey him. May I shut the door, sir? for as it is, I can not admit you.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but orders are orders: I’m his personal servant here—the one who handles his silver every holiday. I can’t disobey him. Can I close the door, sir? Because as it stands, I can’t let you in.”

“The drawing-rooms are on the second floor, are they not?” said Pierre quietly.

“The drawing rooms are on the second floor, right?” said Pierre quietly.

“Yes,” said the black pausing in surprise, and holding the door.

“Yes,” said the man, pausing in surprise as he held the door.

“Yonder are the stairs, I think?”

“Those are the stairs, I think?”

“That way, sir; but this is yours;” and the now suspicious black was just on the point of closing the portal violently upon him, when Pierre thrust him suddenly aside, and springing up the long stairs, found himself facing an open door, from whence proceeded a burst of combined brilliancy and melody, doubly confusing to one just emerged from the street. But bewildered and all demented as he momentarily felt, he instantly stalked in, and confounded the amazed company with his unremoved slouched hat, pale cheek, and whole dusty, travel-stained, and ferocious aspect.

"That way, sir; but this is yours;" the now suspicious man was just about to slam the door on him when Pierre suddenly pushed him aside. He quickly climbed the long stairs and found himself in front of an open door, from which an overwhelming combination of brightness and music poured out, disorienting for someone just coming in from the street. Despite feeling completely bewildered and out of sorts, he confidently walked in, shocking the astonished crowd with his untidy slouched hat, pale face, and overall dusty, travel-worn, and fierce appearance.

“Mr. Stanly! where is Mr. Stanly?” he cried, advancing straight through a startled quadrille, while all the music suddenly hushed, and every eye was fixed in vague affright upon him.

“Mr. Stanly! Where’s Mr. Stanly?” he shouted, moving right through a surprised dance group, as the music abruptly stopped and everyone stared at him in confused fear.

“Mr. Stanly! Mr. Stanly!” cried several bladish voices, toward the further end of the further drawing-room, into which the first one widely opened, “Here is a most peculiar fellow after you; who the devil is he?”

“Mr. Stanly! Mr. Stanly!” shouted several annoying voices from the far end of the other drawing room, which had just opened wide, “There’s a really strange guy after you; who the heck is he?”

“I think I see him,” replied a singularly cool, deliberate, and rather drawling voice, yet a very silvery one, and at bottom perhaps a very resolute one; “I think I see him; stand aside, my good fellow, will you; ladies, remove, remove from between me and yonder hat.”

“I think I see him,” replied a uniquely cool, careful, and somewhat slow voice, yet still very smooth, and maybe deep down quite determined; “I think I see him; step aside, my good man, will you; ladies, please move, move out of the way between me and that hat.”

The polite compliance of the company thus addressed, now revealed to the advancing Pierre, the tall, robust figure of a remarkably splendid-looking, and brown-bearded young man, dressed with surprising plainness, almost demureness, for such an occasion; but this plainness of his dress was not so obvious at first, the material was so fine, and admirably fitted. He was carelessly lounging in a half side-long attitude upon a large sofa, and appeared as if but just interrupted in some very agreeable chat with a diminutive but vivacious brunette, occupying the other end. The dandy and the man; strength and effeminacy; courage and indolence, were so strangely blended in this superb-eyed youth, that at first sight, it seemed impossible to decide whether there was any genuine mettle in him, or not.

The polite compliance of the company addressed now revealed to the approaching Pierre the tall, strong figure of a remarkably attractive young man with a brown beard, dressed surprisingly simply, almost modestly, for such an occasion; but this simplicity in his outfit wasn't obvious at first, as the fabric was so fine and perfectly tailored. He was lounging carelessly in a slightly sideways position on a large sofa, as if he had just been interrupted from a very pleasant conversation with a petite but lively brunette at the other end. The blend of a dandy and a man; strength and softness; bravery and laziness was so strangely mixed in this striking-eyed youth that, at first glance, it seemed impossible to tell whether he had any real courage in him or not.

Some years had gone by since the cousins had met; years peculiarly productive of the greatest conceivable changes in the general personal aspect of human beings. Nevertheless, the eye seldom alters. The instant their eyes met, they mutually recognized each other. But both did not betray the recognition.

Some years had passed since the cousins last met; years that brought about significant changes in how people generally looked. Still, the eyes rarely change. The moment their eyes connected, they both recognized each other. But neither of them showed any sign of that recognition.

“Glen!” cried Pierre, and paused a few steps from him.

“Glen!” shouted Pierre, stopping a few steps away from him.

But the superb-eyed only settled himself lower down in his lounging attitude, and slowly withdrawing a small, unpretending, and unribboned glass from his vest pocket, steadily, yet not entirely insultingly, notwithstanding the circumstances, scrutinized Pierre. Then, dropping his glass, turned slowly round upon the gentlemen near him, saying in the same peculiar, mixed, and musical voice as before:

But the sharp-eyed guy just settled himself lower in his casual position, and slowly took out a small, plain, and unribboned glass from his vest pocket. He looked at Pierre steadily, but not entirely offensively, given the situation. Then, dropping his glass, he turned slowly to the gentlemen around him, speaking in the same unique, mixed, and melodic voice as before:

“I do not know him; it is an entire mistake; why don’t the servants take him out, and the music go on?—— As I was saying, Miss Clara, the statues you saw in the Louvre are not to be mentioned with those in Florence and Rome. Why, there now is that vaunted chef d’œuvre, the Fighting Gladiator of the Louvre——”

“I don’t know him; this is a huge mistake; why don’t the servants just take him out and let the music play on?—As I was saying, Miss Clara, the statues you saw in the Louvre can’t compare to those in Florence and Rome. Now look at that so-called chef d’œuvre, the Fighting Gladiator of the Louvre—”

“Fighting Gladiator it is!” yelled Pierre, leaping toward him like Spartacus. But the savage impulse in him was restrained by the alarmed female shrieks and wild gestures around him. As he paused, several gentlemen made motions to pinion him; but shaking them off fiercely, he stood erect, and isolated for an instant, and fastening his glance upon his still reclining, and apparently unmoved cousin, thus spoke:—

“Fighting Gladiator it is!” yelled Pierre, jumping toward him like Spartacus. But the wild urge inside him was held back by the shocked female screams and frantic gestures around him. As he stopped, several men tried to grab him; but shaking them off angrily, he stood tall for a moment, locking his gaze on his still reclining and seemingly unaffected cousin, and said:—

“Glendinning Stanly, thou disown’st Pierre not so abhorrently as Pierre does thee. By Heaven, had I a knife, Glen, I could prick thee on the spot; let out all thy Glendinning blood, and then sew up the vile remainder. Hound, and base blot upon the general humanity!”

“Glendinning Stanly, you don’t reject Pierre as much as Pierre rejects you. By heaven, if I had a knife, Glen, I could stab you right here; let out all your Glendinning blood, and then sew up the disgusting leftovers. You dog, and shameful stain on humanity!”

“This is very extraordinary:—remarkable case of combined imposture and insanity; but where are the servants? why don’t that black advance? Lead him out, my good Doc, lead him out. Carefully, carefully! stay”—putting his hand in his pocket—“there, take that, and have the poor fellow driven off somewhere.”

“This is really something: a strange mix of deception and madness; but where are the servants? Why doesn’t that guy come forward? Bring him out, Doc, bring him out. Gently, gently! Wait”—putting his hand in his pocket—“here, take this, and have the poor guy taken away somewhere.”

Bolting his rage in him, as impossible to be sated by any conduct, in such a place, Pierre now turned, sprang down the stairs, and fled the house.

Bolting with rage that couldn't be calmed by anything in that place, Pierre now turned, dashed down the stairs, and ran out of the house.


III.

“Hack, sir? Hack, sir? Hack, sir?”

“Hack, sir? Hack, sir? Hack, sir?”

“Cab, sir? Cab, sir? Cab, sir?”

“Taxi, sir? Taxi, sir? Taxi, sir?”

“This way, sir! This way, sir! This way, sir!”

“This way, sir! This way, sir! This way, sir!”

“He’s a rogue! Not him! he’s a rogue!”

“He’s a troublemaker! Not him! He’s a troublemaker!”

Pierre was surrounded by a crowd of contending hackmen, all holding long whips in their hands; while others eagerly beckoned to him from their boxes, where they sat elevated between their two coach-lamps like shabby, discarded saints. The whip-stalks thickened around him, and several reports of the cracking lashes sharply sounded in his ears. Just bursting from a scene so goading as his interview with the scornful Glen in the dazzling drawing-room, to Pierre, this sudden tumultuous surrounding of him by whip-stalks and lashes, seemed like the onset of the chastising fiends upon Orestes. But, breaking away from them, he seized the first plated door-handle near him, and, leaping into the hack, shouted for whoever was the keeper of it, to mount his box forthwith and drive off in a given direction.

Pierre was surrounded by a crowd of competing cab drivers, all holding long whips; while others eagerly waved him over from their boxes, where they sat elevated between their two coach lamps like shabby, forgotten saints. The whips whirled around him, and several sharp cracks echoed in his ears. Just coming from a tense encounter with the scornful Glen in the bright drawing room, this sudden chaotic scene of whips and lashes felt to Pierre like the arrival of punishing demons on Orestes. But breaking away from them, he grabbed the nearest door handle, jumped into the cab, and shouted for whoever was in charge to get in the driver’s seat right away and take off in a specific direction.

The vehicle had proceeded some way down the great avenue when it paused, and the driver demanded whither now; what place?

The vehicle had gone some distance down the wide avenue when it stopped, and the driver asked where to next; what location?

“The Watch-house of the—— Ward,” cried Pierre.

“The Watch-house of the—— Ward,” shouted Pierre.

“Hi! hi! Goin’ to deliver himself up, hey!” grinned the fellow to himself—“Well, that’s a sort of honest, any way:—g’lang, you dogs!—whist! whee! wha!—g’lang!”

“Hey! Hey! Going to turn himself in, huh!” the guy grinned to himself—“Well, that’s kind of honest, anyway:—let’s go, you guys!—whistle! whee! whoo!—let’s go!”

The sights and sounds which met the eye of Pierre on re-entering the watch-house, filled him with inexpressible horror and fury. The before decent, drowsy place, now fairly reeked with all things unseemly. Hardly possible was it to tell what conceivable cause or occasion had, in the comparatively short absence of Pierre, collected such a base congregation. In indescribable disorder, frantic, diseased-looking men and women of all colors, and in all imaginable flaunting, immodest, grotesque, and shattered dresses, were leaping, yelling, and cursing around him. The torn Madras handkerchiefs of negresses, and the red gowns of yellow girls, hanging in tatters from their naked bosoms, mixed with the rent dresses of deep-rouged white women, and the split coats, checkered vests, and protruding shirts of pale, or whiskered, or haggard, or mustached fellows of all nations, some of whom seemed scared from their beds, and others seemingly arrested in the midst of some crazy and wanton dance. On all sides, were heard drunken male and female voices, in English, French, Spanish, and Portuguese, interlarded now and then, with the foulest of all human lingoes, that dialect of sin and death, known as the Cant language, or the Flash.

The sights and sounds that hit Pierre when he re-entered the watch-house filled him with a deep horror and rage. The once decent, sleepy place now reeked of everything inappropriate. It was almost impossible to figure out what could have caused such a low crowd to gather in Pierre's relatively short absence. In utter chaos, frantic, sickly-looking men and women of all colors, dressed in a wild mix of revealing, bizarre, and tattered clothing, were jumping, screaming, and cursing around him. Torn handkerchiefs worn by Black women and the ripped red dresses of Latin women hung from their bare chests, mingling with the ragged outfits of heavily made-up white women, and the split coats, checkered vests, and protruding shirts of pale, bearded, haggard, or mustached men from all backgrounds—some of whom looked like they'd been dragged from their beds, while others were caught mid-crazy, wild dance. Drunken voices, both male and female, could be heard in English, French, Spanish, and Portuguese, occasionally interspersed with the foulest of all languages, the dialect of sin and death known as the Cant language or the Flash.

Running among this combined babel of persons and voices, several of the police were vainly striving to still the tumult; while others were busy handcuffing the more desperate; and here and there the distracted wretches, both men and women, gave downright battle to the officers; and still others already handcuffed struck out at them with their joined ironed arms. Meanwhile, words and phrases unrepeatable in God’s sunlight, and whose very existence was utterly unknown, and undreamed of by tens of thousands of the decent people of the city; syllables obscene and accursed were shouted forth in tones plainly evincing that they were the common household breath of their utterers. The thieves’-quarters, and all the brothels, Lock-and-Sin hospitals for incurables, and infirmaries and infernoes of hell seemed to have made one combined sortie, and poured out upon earth through the vile vomitory of some unmentionable cellar.

Running through the chaotic mix of people and voices, some police officers were trying unsuccessfully to calm the uproar, while others were busy handcuffing the more aggressive individuals. Here and there, frantic men and women fought back against the officers, and some who were already in handcuffs lashed out at them with their chained arms. Meanwhile, words and phrases that were unrepeatable in the light of day, and whose existence was completely unknown and unimaginable to tens of thousands of decent citizens, were shouted in a way that made it clear they were the everyday language of those yelling them. The areas filled with thieves, along with all the brothels, run-down hospitals for the hopeless, and places resembling hell seemed to have launched a combined attack, spilling out onto the streets like the disgusting overflow from some unspeakable cellar.

Though the hitherto imperfect and casual city experiences of Pierre illy fitted him entirely to comprehend the specific purport of this terrific spectacle; still he knew enough by hearsay of the more infamous life of the town, to imagine from whence, and who, were the objects before him. But all his consciousness at the time was absorbed by the one horrified thought of Isabel and Delly, forced to witness a sight hardly endurable for Pierre himself; or, possibly, sucked into the tumult, and in close personal contact with its loathsomeness. Rushing into the crowd, regardless of the random blows and curses he encountered, he wildly sought for Isabel, and soon descried her struggling from the delirious reaching arms of a half-clad reeling whiskerando. With an immense blow of his mailed fist, he sent the wretch humming, and seizing Isabel, cried out to two officers near, to clear a path for him to the door. They did so. And in a few minutes the panting Isabel was safe in the open air. He would have stayed by her, but she conjured him to return for Delly, exposed to worse insults than herself. An additional posse of officers now approaching, Pierre committing her to the care of one of them, and summoning two others to join himself, now re-entered the room. In another quarter of it, he saw Delly seized on each hand by two bleared and half-bloody women, who with fiendish grimaces were ironically twitting her upon her close-necked dress, and had already stript her handkerchief from her. She uttered a cry of mixed anguish and joy at the sight of him; and Pierre soon succeeded in returning with her to Isabel.

Though Pierre's previous imperfect and random experiences in the city prepared him to understand the true meaning of this horrific scene, he still knew enough about the town's notorious life to guess where the objects before him came from and who they were. But all he could think about at that moment was the horrifying thought of Isabel and Delly, forced to witness something almost unbearable for Pierre himself, or possibly getting caught up in the chaos and facing its disgusting reality. He rushed into the crowd, ignoring the random blows and curses he faced, desperately searching for Isabel, and soon spotted her struggling against the frantic grasp of a drunken man in ragged clothes. With a powerful swing of his armored fist, he sent the man flying, and grabbing Isabel, he shouted to two nearby officers to clear a path for him to the exit. They complied, and within minutes, a gasping Isabel was safe in the open air. He wanted to stay with her, but she urged him to return for Delly, who was exposed to even worse insults than she was. As another group of officers arrived, Pierre entrusted her to one of them and called for two others to accompany him as he went back inside. In another part of the room, he saw Delly being grabbed by two disheveled, bloody women who were mockingly taunting her about her high-necked dress and had already ripped her handkerchief away. She let out a cry of mixed pain and relief at the sight of him, and Pierre quickly managed to bring her back to Isabel.

During the absence of Pierre in quest of the hack, and while Isabel and Delly were quietly awaiting his return, the door had suddenly burst open, and a detachment of the police drove in, and caged, the entire miscellaneous night-occupants of a notorious stew, which they had stormed and carried during the height of some outrageous orgie. The first sight of the interior of the watch-house, and their being so quickly huddled together within its four blank walls, had suddenly lashed the mob into frenzy; so that for the time, oblivious of all other considerations, the entire force of the police was directed to the quelling of the in-door riot; and consequently, abandoned to their own protection, Isabel and Delly had been temporarily left to its mercy.

While Pierre was out looking for the hack, Isabel and Delly were quietly waiting for him to come back when the door suddenly flew open. A group of police officers rushed in and rounded up everyone inside a notorious brothel that they had stormed during a wild party. The moment the night-occupants saw the inside of the holding cell and found themselves squeezed together within its plain walls, they exploded into chaos. With no thought for anything else, the police focused all their efforts on controlling the riot inside, leaving Isabel and Delly to fend for themselves for the time being.

It was no time for Pierre to manifest his indignation at the officer—even if he could now find him—who had thus falsified his individual pledge concerning the precious charge committed to him. Nor was it any time to distress himself about his luggage, still somewhere within. Quitting all, he thrust the bewildered and half-lifeless girls into the waiting hack, which, by his orders, drove back in the direction of the stand, where Pierre had first taken it up.

It wasn't the right moment for Pierre to show his anger at the officer—even if he could find him now—who had betrayed the trust he had with the important task given to him. Nor was it a good time to worry about his luggage, still somewhere inside. Leaving everything behind, he hurried the confused and nearly unconscious girls into the waiting cab, which, at his direction, drove back towards the spot where Pierre had first picked it up.

When the coach had rolled them well away from the tumult, Pierre stopped it, and said to the man, that he desired to be taken to the nearest respectable hotel or boarding-house of any kind, that he knew of. The fellow—maliciously diverted by what had happened thus far—made some ambiguous and rudely merry rejoinder. But warned by his previous rash quarrel with the stage-driver, Pierre passed this unnoticed, and in a controlled, calm, decided manner repeated his directions.

When the coach had taken them far enough away from the chaos, Pierre stopped it and told the driver that he wanted to be taken to the nearest decent hotel or boarding house. The guy, having a bit of fun with what had happened so far, made some vague and joking reply. But remembering his earlier fight with the stage driver, Pierre ignored this and calmly and firmly repeated his request.

The issue was, that after a rather roundabout drive they drew up in a very respectable side-street, before a large respectable-looking house, illuminated by two tall white lights flanking its portico. Pierre was glad to notice some little remaining stir within, spite of the comparative lateness of the hour. A bare-headed, tidily-dressed, and very intelligent-looking man, with a broom clothes-brush in his hand, appearing, scrutinized him rather sharply at first; but as Pierre advanced further into the light, and his countenance became visible, the man, assuming a respectful but still slightly perplexed air, invited the whole party into a closely adjoining parlor, whose disordered chairs and general dustiness, evinced that after a day’s activity it now awaited the morning offices of the housemaids.

The problem was that after a somewhat winding drive, they pulled up on a decent side street in front of a large, respectable-looking house, lit by two tall white lights on either side of its entrance. Pierre felt relieved to see some activity inside, despite how late it was. A man, neatly dressed and looking quite intelligent, appeared with a broom and brush in his hand. He examined Pierre for a moment, but as Pierre stepped further into the light and his face became visible, the man shifted to a respectful yet still slightly confused demeanor and invited the whole group into a nearby parlor. The scattered chairs and overall dustiness made it clear that after a busy day, the room was now waiting for the morning cleaning by the housemaids.

“Baggage, sir?”

“Luggage, sir?”

“I have left my baggage at another place,” said Pierre, “I shall send for it to-morrow.”

“I’ve left my bag at another place,” said Pierre, “I’ll have it sent for tomorrow.”

“Ah!” exclaimed the very intelligent-looking man, rather dubiously, “shall I discharge the hack, then?”

“Ah!” exclaimed the very smart-looking man, somewhat skeptically, “should I dismiss the cab, then?”

“Stay,” said Pierre, bethinking him, that it would be well not to let the man know from whence they had last come, “I will discharge it myself, thank you.”

“Wait,” said Pierre, thinking it would be better not to let the man know where they had just come from, “I’ll take care of it myself, thanks.”

So returning to the sidewalk, without debate, he paid the hackman an exorbitant fare, who, anxious to secure such illegal gains beyond all hope of recovery, quickly mounted his box and drove off at a gallop.

So, back on the sidewalk, without argument, he paid the cab driver an outrageous fare. Eager to make those illegal earnings that he would never recover, the driver quickly jumped onto his seat and took off at a fast pace.

“Will you step into the office, sir, now?” said the man, slightly flourishing with his brush—“this way, sir, if you please.”

“Will you come into the office, sir, now?” said the man, waving his brush a bit—“this way, sir, if you please.”

Pierre followed him, into an almost deserted, dimly lit room with a stand in it. Going behind the stand, the man turned round to him a large ledger-like book, thickly inscribed with names, like any directory, and offered him a pen ready dipped in ink.

Pierre followed him into a nearly empty, dimly lit room that had a stand in it. The man went behind the stand, turned to him a large, ledger-like book filled with names, similar to any directory, and offered him a pen that was already dipped in ink.

Understanding the general hint, though secretly irritated at something in the manner of the man, Pierre drew the book to him, and wrote in a firm hand, at the bottom of the last-named column,—

Understanding the general hint, though secretly annoyed by something in the man's manner, Pierre pulled the book closer and wrote in a steady hand at the bottom of the last column,—

“Mr. and Mrs. Pierre Glendinning, and Miss Ulver.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Pierre Glendinning, and Miss Ulver.”

The man glanced at the writing inquiringly, and then said—“The other column, sir—where from.”

The man looked at the writing curiously and then said, “The other column, sir—where is it from?”

“True,” said Pierre, and wrote “Saddle Meadows.”

“True,” said Pierre, and wrote “Saddle Meadows.”

The very intelligent-looking man re-examined the page, and then slowly stroking his shaven chin, with a fork, made of his thumb for one tine, and his united four fingers for the other, said softly and whisperingly—“Anywheres in this country, sir?”

The very smart-looking man looked over the page again, then, while slowly stroking his clean-shaven chin with a fork he made using his thumb for one prong and his four fingers for the other, he said softly and quietly, “Anywhere in this country, sir?”

“Yes, in the country,” said Pierre, evasively, and bridling his ire. “But now show me to two chambers, will you; the one for myself and wife, I desire to have opening into another, a third one, never mind how small; but I must have a dressing-room.”

“Yes, out in the country,” Pierre said evasively, trying to keep his anger in check. “But now, can you show me to two rooms? One for me and my wife, and I want it to connect to another one—a third room, no matter how small; but I absolutely need a dressing room.”

“Dressing-room,” repeated the man, in an ironically deliberative voice—“Dressing-room;—Hem!—You will have your luggage taken into the dressing-room, then, I suppose.—Oh, I forgot—your luggage aint come yet—ah, yes, yes, yes—luggage is coming to-morrow—Oh, yes, yes,—certainly—to-morrow—of course. By the way, sir; I dislike to seem at all uncivil, and I am sure you will not deem me so; but—”

“Dressing room,” the man said, his tone dripping with irony—“Dressing room;—Um!—I guess you’ll want your luggage brought to the dressing room then.—Oh, I forgot—your luggage hasn’t arrived yet—ah, yes, yes, yes—it's coming tomorrow—Oh, yes, yes,—definitely—tomorrow—of course. By the way, sir; I really don’t want to come off as rude, and I'm sure you won’t see me that way; but—”

“Well,” said Pierre, mustering all his self-command for the coming impertinence.

“Well,” said Pierre, gathering all his self-control for the upcoming rudeness.

“When stranger gentlemen come to this house without luggage, we think ourselves bound to ask them to pay their bills in advance, sir; that is all, sir.”

“When unfamiliar gentlemen arrive at this house without any luggage, we feel it's necessary to ask them to settle their bills upfront, sir; that’s all, sir.”

“I shall stay here to-night and the whole of to-morrow, at any rate,” rejoined Pierre, thankful that this was all; “how much will it be?” and he drew out his purse.

“I'll stay here tonight and all of tomorrow, for sure,” replied Pierre, relieved that this was all; “how much will it be?” and he pulled out his wallet.

The man’s eyes fastened with eagerness on the purse; he looked from it to the face of him who held it; then seemed half hesitating an instant; then brightening up, said, with sudden suavity—“Never mind, sir, never mind, sir; though rogues sometimes be gentlemanly; gentlemen that are gentlemen never go abroad without their diplomas. Their diplomas are their friends; and their only friends are their dollars; you have a purse-full of friends.—We have chambers, sir, that will exactly suit you, I think. Bring your ladies and I will show you up to them immediately.” So saying, dropping his brush, the very intelligent-looking man lighted one lamp, and taking two unlighted ones in his other hand, led the way down the dusky lead-sheeted hall, Pierre following him with Isabel and Delly.

The man's eyes fixed eagerly on the purse; he glanced from it to the face of the person holding it. He hesitated for a moment, then, brightening up, said smoothly, “No worries, sir, no worries; although sometimes rogues can be classy, real gentlemen never go out without their credentials. Their credentials are their allies, and their only allies are their dollars; you have a purse full of allies. We have rooms, sir, that will suit you perfectly, I believe. Bring your ladies, and I’ll show you to them right away.” With that, he dropped his brush, lit one lamp, and took two unlit ones in his other hand, leading the way down the dimly lit hall, with Pierre following him along with Isabel and Delly.

BOOK XVII.
YOUNG AMERICA IN LITERATURE.

I.

AMONG the various conflicting modes of writing history, there would seem to be two grand practical distinctions, under which all the rest must subordinately range. By the one mode, all contemporaneous circumstances, facts, and events must be set down contemporaneously; by the other, they are only to be set down as the general stream of the narrative shall dictate; for matters which are kindred in time, may be very irrelative in themselves. I elect neither of these; I am careless of either; both are well enough in their way; I write precisely as I please.

AMONG the different conflicting ways of writing history, there seem to be two main practical categories under which everything else fits. In one approach, all contemporaneous circumstances, facts, and events must be recorded at the same time; in the other, they are only noted down as the general flow of the narrative suggests. Events that happen around the same time may not necessarily relate to each other. I choose neither of these; I don’t care about either; both have their merits; I write exactly how I want.

In the earlier chapters of this volume, it has somewhere been passingly intimated, that Pierre was not only a reader of the poets and other fine writers, but likewise—and what is a very different thing from the other—a thorough allegorical understander of them, a profound emotional sympathizer with them; in other words, Pierre himself possessed the poetic nature; in himself absolutely, though but latently and floatingly, possessed every whit of the imaginative wealth which he so admired, when by vast pains-takings, and all manner of unrecompensed agonies, systematized on the printed page. Not that as yet his young and immature soul had been accosted by the Wonderful Mutes, and through the vast halls of Silent Truth, had been ushered into the full, secret, eternally inviolable Sanhedrim, where the Poetic Magi discuss, in glorious gibberish, the Alpha and Omega of the Universe. But among the beautiful imaginings of the second and third degree of poets, he freely and comprehendingly ranged.

In the earlier chapters of this volume, it has been mentioned that Pierre was not just a reader of poets and other great writers, but also—and this is something quite different—a deep allegorical interpreter of their work, and a profound emotional empathizer with them. In other words, Pierre had a poetic nature; he possessed every bit of the imaginative richness he admired so much, even if only subtly and in an unformed way, which was painstakingly put together through countless struggles and efforts on the printed page. His young and still-developing soul had not yet encountered the Wonderful Mutes or been led through the vast halls of Silent Truth into the full, secret, eternally inviolate Sanhedrim, where the Poetic Magi engage in glorious nonsense about the Alpha and Omega of the Universe. But among the beautiful imaginations of the second and third tier poets, he moved freely and with understanding.

But it still remains to be said, that Pierre himself had written many a fugitive thing, which had brought him, not only vast credit and compliments from his more immediate acquaintances, but the less partial applauses of the always intelligent, and extremely discriminating public. In short, Pierre had frequently done that, which many other boys have done—published. Not in the imposing form of a book, but in the more modest and becoming way of occasional contributions to magazines and other polite periodicals. His magnificent and victorious debut had been made in that delightful love-sonnet, entitled “The Tropical Summer.” Not only the public had applauded his gemmed little sketches of thought and fancy, whether in poetry or prose; but the high and mighty Campbell clan of editors of all sorts had bestowed upon him those generous commendations, which, with one instantaneous glance, they had immediately perceived was his due. They spoke in high terms of his surprising command of language; they begged to express their wonder at his euphonious construction of sentences; they regarded with reverence the pervading symmetry of his general style. But transcending even this profound insight into the deep merits of Pierre, they looked infinitely beyond, and confessed their complete inability to restrain their unqualified admiration for the highly judicious smoothness and genteelness of the sentiments and fancies expressed. “This writer,” said one,—in an ungovernable burst of admiring fury—“is characterized throughout by Perfect Taste.” Another, after endorsingly quoting that sapient, suppressed maxim of Dr. Goldsmith’s, which asserts that whatever is new is false, went on to apply it to the excellent productions before him; concluding with this: “He has translated the unruffled gentleman from the drawing-room into the general levee of letters; he never permits himself to astonish; is never betrayed into any thing coarse or new; as assured that whatever astonishes is vulgar, and whatever is new must be crude. Yes, it is the glory of this admirable young author, that vulgarity and vigor—two inseparable adjuncts—are equally removed from him.”

But it still needs to be said that Pierre himself had written many fleeting pieces that brought him not only great respect and compliments from his closer acquaintances but also the less biased praise of the always insightful and highly discerning public. In short, Pierre had often done what many other boys have done—published. Not in the grand form of a book, but in the more humble and fitting way of occasional contributions to magazines and other respectable periodicals. His brilliant and successful debut had been with that charming love sonnet titled “The Tropical Summer.” The public not only applauded his sparkling little sketches of thought and imagination, whether in poetry or prose; but the esteemed Campbell clan, a group of editors of all kinds, had offered him those generous commendations that they immediately recognized as his due. They spoke highly of his remarkable command of language; they expressed their amazement at his melodious sentence construction; they held in high regard the overall symmetry of his style. But surpassing even this deep appreciation of Pierre's significant merits, they looked far beyond and admitted their complete inability to hold back their unreserved admiration for the especially tasteful smoothness and refinement of the ideas and sentiments expressed. “This writer,” said one—in an uncontrollable burst of admiration—“is characterized throughout by Perfect Taste.” Another, after quoting that wise, understated saying of Dr. Goldsmith’s which claims that whatever is new is false, went on to apply it to the excellent works before him; concluding with this: “He has brought the unruffled gentleman from the drawing room into the wider world of literature; he never allows himself to startle; is never led into anything crude or novel; sure that whatever startles is vulgar, and whatever is new must be unrefined. Yes, it is the glory of this remarkable young author that vulgarity and energy—two inseparable companions—are equally absent from him.”

A third, perorated a long and beautifully written review, by the bold and startling announcement—“This writer is unquestionably a highly respectable youth.”

A third, lengthy and well-crafted review concluded with the bold and surprising statement—“This writer is definitely a very respectable young person.”

Nor had the editors of various moral and religious periodicals failed to render the tribute of their severer appreciation, and more enviable, because more chary applause. A renowned clerical and philological conductor of a weekly publication of this kind, whose surprising proficiency in the Greek, Hebrew, and Chaldaic, to which he had devoted by far the greater part of his life, peculiarly fitted him to pronounce unerring judgment upon works of taste in the English, had unhesitatingly delivered himself thus:—“He is blameless in morals, and harmless throughout.” Another, had unhesitatingly recommended his effusions to the family-circle. A third, had no reserve in saying, that the predominant end and aim of this author was evangelical piety.

The editors of various moral and religious magazines also gave their more serious praise, which was even more commendable due to its rarity. A respected clerical and language expert who ran a weekly publication of this type, and who had dedicated most of his life to mastering Greek, Hebrew, and Chaldean, was particularly qualified to judge the quality of English works and confidently stated: “He is morally sound and harmless throughout.” Another editor boldly recommended his writings for the family circle. A third openly noted that the primary purpose of this author was to promote evangelical piety.

A mind less naturally strong than Pierre’s might well have been hurried into vast self-complacency, by such eulogy as this, especially as there could be no possible doubt, that the primitive verdict pronounced by the editors was irreversible, except in the highly improbable event of the near approach of the Millennium, which might establish a different dynasty of taste, and possibly eject the editors. It is true, that in view of the general practical vagueness of these panegyrics, and the circumstance that, in essence, they were all somehow of the prudently indecisive sort; and, considering that they were panegyrics, and nothing but panegyrics, without any thing analytical about them; an elderly friend of a literary turn, had made bold to say to our hero—“Pierre, this is very high praise, I grant, and you are a surprisingly young author to receive it; but I do not see any criticisms as yet.”

A mind not as naturally strong as Pierre’s might have easily fallen into a deep sense of self-satisfaction from such praise, especially since there was no doubt that the initial judgment made by the editors was final, unless we were approaching a Millennium that could bring a new wave of taste and possibly replace the editors. It’s true that, considering the vague nature of these compliments and the fact that they were all somewhat cautiously noncommittal; and noting that they were just praises with nothing analytical about them; an older friend with a literary perspective had boldly told our hero—“Pierre, this is indeed high praise, I agree, and you’re quite a young author to receive it; but I haven't seen any criticisms yet.”

“Criticisms?” cried Pierre, in amazement; “why, sir, they are all criticisms! I am the idol of the critics!”

“Criticisms?” Pierre exclaimed in disbelief. “Why, sir, they’re all criticisms! I’m the favorite of the critics!”

“Ah!” sighed the elderly friend, as if suddenly reminded that that was true after all—“Ah!” and went on with his inoffensive, non-committal cigar.

“Ah!” sighed the elderly friend, as if he had just been reminded that it was true after all—“Ah!” and continued with his harmless, non-committal cigar.

Nevertheless, thanks to the editors, such at last became the popular literary enthusiasm in behalf of Pierre, that two young men, recently abandoning the ignoble pursuit of tailoring for the more honorable trade of the publisher (probably with an economical view of working up in books, the linen and cotton shreds of the cutter’s counter, after having been subjected to the action of the paper-mill), had on the daintiest scolloped-edged paper, and in the neatest possible, and fine-needle-work hand, addressed him a letter, couched in the following terms; the general style of which letter will sufficiently evince that, though—thanks to the manufacturer—their linen and cotton shreds may have been very completely transmuted into paper, yet the cutters themselves were not yet entirely out of the metamorphosing mill.

However, thanks to the editors, the public's enthusiasm for Pierre finally grew so much that two young men, who recently left the unworthy job of tailoring for the more respectable profession of publishing (probably looking to profit from turning the leftover linen and cotton scraps from the tailor's shop into books after they had been processed at the paper mill), wrote him a letter on the finest scalloped-edge paper, with the neatest handwriting possible. This letter was crafted in such a way that it clearly showed that, while they had successfully transformed their linen and cotton scraps into paper thanks to the manufacturer, the young men themselves were still in the process of changing from tailors.

“Hon. Pierre Glendinning,
     “Revered Sir,

“Hon. Pierre Glendinning,
     “Dear Sir,

   “The fine cut, the judicious fit of your productions fill us with amazement. The fabric is excellent—the finest broadcloth of genius. We have just started in business. Your pantaloons—productions, we mean—have never yet been collected. They should be published in the Library form. The tailors—we mean the librarians, demand it. Your fame is now in its finest nap. Now—before the gloss is off—now is the time for the library form. We have recently received an invoice of Chamois—— Russia leather. The library form should be a durable form. We respectfully offer to dress your amazing productions in the library form. If you please, we will transmit you a sample of the cloth—— we mean a sample-page, with a pattern of the leather. We are ready to give you one tenth of the profits (less discount) for the privilege of arraying your wonderful productions in the library form:—you cashing the seamstresses’—— printer’s and binder’s bills on the day of publication. An answer at your earliest convenience will greatly oblige,—

“The excellent cut and careful fit of your works amaze us. The fabric is top-notch—the finest broadcloth of talent. We’ve just started our business. Your pants—what we mean is your creations—have never been brought together. They should be published in a library format. The tailors—we mean the librarians, are asking for it. Your reputation is at its peak. Now—before it loses its shine—this is the perfect time for the library format. We have recently received an invoice for Chamois—— Russia leather. The library format should be durable. We respectfully offer to present your incredible works in the library format. If you agree, we will send you a sample of the fabric—— we mean a sample page, along with a pattern of the leather. We are ready to give you one-tenth of the profits (after discounts) for the opportunity to showcase your outstanding works in the library format:—you will cover the seamstresses’——printer’s and binder’s bills on the day of publication. A quick response would be greatly appreciated,—

“Sir, your most obsequious servants,
“WONDER & WEN.”

"Sir, your most enthusiastic servants,"
“WONDER & WEN.”

“P. S.—We respectfully submit the enclosed block—— sheet, as some earnest of our intentions to do every thing in your behalf possible to any firm in the trade.

“P. S.—We respectfully submit the enclosed block—— sheet, as some indication of our intentions to do everything possible for you with any firm in the trade.

“N. B.—If the list does not comprise all your illustrious wardrobe—— works, we mean——, we shall exceedingly regret it. We have hunted through all the drawers—— magazines.

“N. B.—If the list doesn't include all your impressive wardrobe—— works, we mean——, we will really regret it. We've searched through all the drawers—— magazines.

“Sample of a coat—— title for the works of Glendinning:

“Sample of a coat—— title for the works of Glendinning:

THE
COMPLETE WORKS

OF

GLENDINNING,

AUTHOR OF

That world-famed production, “The Tropical Summer: a Sonnet.
The Weather: a Thought.” “Life: an Impromptu.” “The
late Reverend Mark Graceman: an Obituary.” “Honor:
a Stanza.” “Beauty: an Acrostic.” “Edgar:
an Anagram.” “The Pippin: a Paragraph.
&c. &c. &c. &c.
&c. &c. &c.
&c. &c.
&c.

P

THE
COMPLETE WORKS

OF

GLENDINNING,

AUTHOR OF

That world-famous piece, “The Tropical Summer: a Sonnet.
The Weather: a Thought.” “Life: an Impromptu.” “The
late Reverend Mark Graceman: an Obituary.” “Honor:
a Stanza.” “Beauty: an Acrostic.” “Edgar:
an Anagram.” “The Pippin: a Paragraph.
& & & &
& & &
& &
&.

P

From a designer, Pierre had received the following:

From a designer, Pierre had received the following:

“Sir: I approach you with unfeigned trepidation. For though you are young in age, you are old in fame and ability. I can not express to you my ardent admiration of your works; nor can I but deeply regret that the productions of such graphic descriptive power, should be unaccompanied by the humbler illustrative labors of the designer. My services in this line are entirely at your command. I need not say how proud I should be, if this hint, on my part, however presuming, should induce you to reply in terms upon which I could found the hope of honoring myself and my profession by a few designs for the works of the illustrious Glendinning. But the cursory mention of your name here fills me with such swelling emotions, that I can say nothing more. I would only add, however, that not being at all connected with the Trade, my business situation unpleasantly forces me to make cash down on delivery of each design, the basis of all my professional arrangements. Your noble soul, however, would disdain to suppose, that this sordid necessity, in my merely business concerns, could ever impair——

“Sir: I'm reaching out to you with genuine nervousness. Even though you are young, your reputation and talent are well-established. I can't fully express my deep admiration for your work; nor can I help but feel regret that such vividly descriptive pieces don’t have the simpler illustrative efforts of a designer alongside them. I'm entirely at your service in this area. I don’t need to say how proud I would be if my suggestion, though bold, could lead you to reply in a way that allows me to honor both myself and my profession with a few designs for the esteemed Glendinning’s work. However, just mentioning your name here stirs up such strong emotions in me that I can’t say much more. I would just add that, since I’m not connected to the Trade, my job situation sadly forces me to ask for payment on delivery of each design, which is the basis of all my professional agreements. However, your noble spirit would never think that this financial necessity in my professional dealings could ever diminish—

“That profound private veneration and admiration
With which I unmercenarily am,
Great and good Glendinning,
Yours most humbly,
PETER PENCE.”

"That profound personal respect and admiration"
That I constantly feel,
Great and good Glendinning,
Yours truly,
PETER PENCE.


II.

THESE were stirring letters. The Library Form! an Illustrated Edition! His whole heart swelled.

THESE were exciting letters. The Library Form! an Illustrated Edition! His entire heart swelled.

But unfortunately it occurred to Pierre, that as all his writings were not only fugitive, but if put together could not possibly fill more than a very small duodecimo; therefore the Library Edition seemed a little premature, perhaps; possibly, in a slight degree, preposterous. Then, as they were chiefly made up of little sonnets, brief meditative poems, and moral essays, the matter for the designer ran some small risk of being but meager. In his inexperience, he did not know that such was the great height of invention to which the designer’s art had been carried, that certain gentlemen of that profession had gone to an eminent publishing-house with overtures for an illustrated edition of “Coke upon Lyttleton.” Even the City Directory was beautifully illustrated with exquisite engravings of bricks, tongs, and flat-irons.

But unfortunately, Pierre realized that all his writings were not only fleeting, but if combined, they could only fit into a very small duodecimo; so the Library Edition seemed a bit premature, perhaps even somewhat absurd. Then, as they mostly consisted of short sonnets, brief reflective poems, and moral essays, the material for the designer risked being rather thin. In his inexperience, he didn’t understand that the designer’s craft had reached such a high level of creativity that some professionals in that field had approached a top publishing house with proposals for an illustrated edition of “Coke upon Lyttleton.” Even the City Directory was beautifully decorated with exquisite engravings of bricks, tongs, and flat-irons.

Concerning the draught for the title-page, it must be confessed, that on seeing the imposing enumeration of his titles—long and magnificent as those preceding the proclamations of some German Prince (“Hereditary Lord of the back-yard of Crantz Jacobi; Undoubted Proprietor by Seizure of the bedstead of the late Widow Van Lorn; Heir Apparent to the Bankrupt Bakery of Fletz and Flitz; Residuary Legatee of the Confiscated Pin-Money of the Late Dowager Dunker; &c. &c. &c.”) Pierre could not entirely repress a momentary feeling of elation. Yet did he also bow low under the weight of his own ponderosity, as the author of such a vast load of literature. It occasioned him some slight misgivings, however, when he considered, that already in his eighteenth year, his title-page should so immensely surpass in voluminous statisticals the simple page, which in his father’s edition prefixed the vast speculations of Plato. Still, he comforted himself with the thought, that as he could not presume to interfere with the bill-stickers of the Gazelle Magazine, who every month covered the walls of the city with gigantic announcements of his name among the other contributors; so neither could he now—in the highly improbable event of closing with the offer of Messrs. Wonder and Wen—presume to interfere with the bill-sticking department of their business concern; for it was plain that they esteemed one’s title-page but another unwindowed wall, infinitely more available than most walls, since here was at least one spot in the city where no rival bill-stickers dared to encroach. Nevertheless, resolved as he was to let all such bill-sticking matters take care of themselves, he was sensible of some coy inclination toward that modest method of certain kid-gloved and dainty authors, who scorning the vulgarity of a sounding parade, contented themselves with simply subscribing their name to the title-page; as confident, that that was sufficient guarantee to the notice of all true gentlemen of taste. It was for petty German princes to sound their prolonged titular flourishes. The Czar of Russia contented himself with putting the simple word “NICHOLAS” to his loftiest decrees.

Regarding the draft for the title page, it must be admitted that upon seeing the impressive list of his titles—long and grand like those that precede the announcements of some German prince (“Hereditary Lord of the backyard of Crantz Jacobi; Undoubted Proprietor by Seizure of the bed of the late Widow Van Lorn; Heir Apparent to the Bankrupt Bakery of Fletz and Flitz; Residuary Legatee of the Confiscated Pin-Money of the Late Dowager Dunker; etc. etc. etc.”), Pierre couldn't help but feel a momentary rush of pride. However, he also felt weighed down by the heaviness of his own literary achievements. It caused him some concern when he realized that at just eighteen, his title page already contained far more extensive statistics than the simple page preceding his father's edition of Plato's grand ideas. Still, he reassured himself that since he couldn't interfere with the posters from Gazelle Magazine, which every month plastered the city's walls with huge announcements of his name among other contributors, he also couldn't interfere with the advertising department of Messrs. Wonder and Wen—if he ever decided to accept their offer. It was clear that they saw a title page as just another wall to cover, far more accessible than most, being one of the few places in the city where rival poster hangers wouldn't tread. Even so, as determined as he was to let these advertising issues sort themselves out, he felt a subtle attraction to the humble approach of certain refined authors, who, rejecting the showiness of a loud display, simply signed their names on the title page, confident that would be enough to catch the attention of true men of taste. It was for lesser German princes to boast of their extended titles. The Czar of Russia was content to sign his highest decrees with just the simple name “NICHOLAS.”

This train of thought terminated at last in various considerations upon the subject of anonymousness in authorship. He regretted that he had not started his literary career under that mask. At present, it might be too late; already the whole universe knew him, and it was in vain at this late day to attempt to hood himself. But when he considered the essential dignity and propriety at all points, of the inviolably anonymous method, he could not but feel the sincerest sympathy for those unfortunate fellows, who, not only naturally averse to any sort of publicity, but progressively ashamed of their own successive productions—written chiefly for the merest cash—were yet cruelly coerced into sounding title-pages by sundry baker’s and butcher’s bills, and other financial considerations; inasmuch as the placard of the title-page indubitably must assist the publisher in his sales.

This line of thinking eventually led him to reflect on anonymity in writing. He wished he had begun his literary career behind that shield. Now, it might be too late; everyone knew who he was, and it was pointless to try to hide at this stage. However, when he thought about the essential dignity and appropriateness of the completely anonymous approach, he couldn't help but feel genuine sympathy for those unfortunate individuals who, not only naturally averse to any kind of publicity but also increasingly ashamed of their subsequent works—written mostly for mere money—were still cruelly forced to use flashy title pages because of various financial pressures. After all, the title page was undoubtedly important for the publisher's sales.

But perhaps the ruling, though not altogether conscious motive of Pierre in finally declining—as he did—the services of Messrs. Wonder and Wen, those eager applicants for the privilege of extending and solidifying his fame, arose from the idea that being at this time not very far advanced in years, the probability was, that his future productions might at least equal, if not surpass, in some small degree, those already given to the world. He resolved to wait for his literary canonization until he should at least have outgrown the sophomorean insinuation of the Law; which, with a singular affectation of benignity, pronounced him an “infant.” His modesty obscured from him the circumstance, that the greatest lettered celebrities of the time, had, by the divine power of genius, become full graduates in the University of Fame, while yet as legal minors forced to go to their mammas for pennies wherewith to keep them in peanuts.

But maybe Pierre's decision to turn down the help of Messrs. Wonder and Wen, who were eager to boost his fame, was driven by the thought that since he was still relatively young, there was a good chance his future works could at least match, if not slightly outshine, those he had already released. He decided to wait for his literary recognition until he had moved past the youthful accusations of immaturity, which, with an oddly kind tone, labeled him an “infant.” His modesty made him overlook the fact that the greatest literary stars of the time had, through their sheer genius, become fully recognized in the University of Fame while still being considered legal minors who had to ask their mothers for nickels to afford snacks.

Not seldom Pierre’s social placidity was ruffled by polite entreaties from the young ladies that he would be pleased to grace their Albums with some nice little song. We say that here his social placidity was ruffled; for the true charm of agreeable parlor society is, that there you lose your own sharp individuality and become delightfully merged in that soft social Pantheism, as it were, that rosy melting of all into one, ever prevailing in those drawing-rooms, which pacifically and deliciously belie their own name; inasmuch as there no one draws the sword of his own individuality, but all such ugly weapons are left—as of old—with your hat and cane in the hall. It was very awkward to decline the albums; but somehow it was still worse, and peculiarly distasteful for Pierre to comply. With equal justice apparently, you might either have called this his weakness or his idiosyncrasy. He summoned all his suavity, and refused. And the refusal of Pierre—according to Miss Angelica Amabilia of Ambleside—was sweeter than the compliance of others. But then—prior to the proffer of her album—in a copse at Ambleside, Pierre in a gallant whim had in the lady’s own presence voluntarily carved Miss Angelica’s initials upon the bark of a beautiful maple. But all young ladies are not Miss Angelicas. Blandly denied in the parlor, they courted repulse in the study. In lovely envelopes they dispatched their albums to Pierre, not omitting to drop a little attar-of-rose in the palm of the domestic who carried them. While now Pierre—pushed to the wall in his gallantry—shilly-shallied as to what he must do, the awaiting albums multiplied upon him; and by-and-by monopolized an entire shelf in his chamber; so that while their combined ornate bindings fairly dazzled his eyes, their excessive redolence all but made him to faint, though indeed, in moderation, he was very partial to perfumes. So that of really chilly afternoons, he was still obliged to drop the upper sashes a few inches.

Not infrequently, Pierre’s calm social demeanor was interrupted by polite requests from young ladies asking him to add a nice little song to their albums. We say his social calm was interrupted because the real charm of pleasant parlor society is that you lose your own sharp individuality and blend delightfully into that soft social unity, as it were, the warm melting of everyone into one, which always prevails in those drawing rooms that peacefully and delightfully contradict their own name; since in those rooms no one showcases their own individuality, and all those ugly weapons are left—as before—with your hat and cane in the hall. It was very awkward to decline the albums; but somehow it felt even worse, and was particularly unpleasant for Pierre to agree. You could justifiably call this either his weakness or his quirk. He gathered all his politeness and refused. And Pierre’s refusal—according to Miss Angelica Amabilia of Ambleside—was sweeter than the acceptance of others. But before she offered her album, Pierre, in a bold gesture, had voluntarily carved Miss Angelica’s initials into the bark of a beautiful maple while she was present. However, not all young ladies are like Miss Angelica. With a gentle dismissal in the parlor, they sought rejection in the study. In lovely envelopes, they sent their albums to Pierre, even going so far as to drop a bit of rose perfume into the hand of the maid who delivered them. Meanwhile, Pierre—caught in his polite dilemma—hesitated about what to do, as the waiting albums multiplied around him and eventually took over an entire shelf in his room; so much so that while their combined ornate covers dazzled his eyes, their overwhelming fragrance nearly made him faint, even though he did enjoy perfumes in moderation. On really chilly afternoons, he still had to crack open the upper windows a few inches.

The simplest of all things it is to write in a lady’s album. But Cui Bono? Is there such a dearth of printed reading, that the monkish times must be revived, and ladies books be in manuscript? What could Pierre write of his own on Love or any thing else, that would surpass what divine Hafiz wrote so many long centuries ago? Was there not Anacreon too, and Catullus, and Ovid—all translated, and readily accessible? And then—bless all their souls!—had the dear creatures forgotten Tom Moore? But the handwriting, Pierre,—they want the sight of your hand. Well, thought Pierre, actual feeling is better than transmitted sight, any day. I will give them the actual feeling of my hand, as much as they want. And lips are still better than hands. Let them send their sweet faces to me, and I will kiss lipographs upon them forever and a day. This was a felicitous idea. He called Dates, and had the albums carried down by the basket-full into the dining-room. He opened and spread them all out upon the extension-table there; then, modeling himself by the Pope, when His Holiness collectively blesses long crates of rosaries—he waved one devout kiss to the albums; and summoning three servants sent the albums all home, with his best compliments, accompanied with a confectioner’s kiss for each album, rolled up in the most ethereal tissue.

The simplest thing in the world is to write in a lady's album. But who benefits? Is there really such a lack of printed material that we have to bring back the old monk style, making ladies' books handwritten? What could Pierre possibly write about love or anything else that would be better than what the incredible Hafiz wrote so many centuries ago? And what about Anacreon, Catullus, and Ovid—all translated and easily available? And then—bless their hearts!—have the dear ones forgotten Tom Moore? But Pierre, they want to see your handwriting. Well, Pierre thought, real emotion is better than just a visual representation any day. I’ll give them the real feeling of my hand, as much as they want. And kisses are even better than handprints. Let them send their lovely faces to me, and I’ll leave kiss imprints on them forever. This was a brilliant idea. He called for Dates and had the albums brought down by the basketful into the dining room. He opened them all and spread them out on the extension table; then, modeling himself after the Pope when he blesses long rows of rosaries, he sent one devoted kiss to the albums. He summoned three servants and sent the albums back home with his best compliments, each one accompanied by a confectioner’s kiss wrapped in the lightest tissue.

From various quarters of the land, both town and country, and especially during the preliminary season of autumn, Pierre received various pressing invitations to lecture before Lyceums, Young Men’s Associations, and other Literary and Scientific Societies. The letters conveying these invitations possessed quite an imposing and most flattering aspect to the unsophisticated Pierre. One was as follows:—

From different parts of the country, both urban and rural, and especially during the early fall, Pierre received several urgent invites to give lectures at Lyceums, Young Men’s Associations, and other Literary and Scientific Societies. The letters that came with these invitations seemed quite impressive and very flattering to the naive Pierre. One of them read as follows:—

Urquhartian Club for the Immediate Extension of the Limits
of all Knowledge, both Human and
Divine.

Urquhartian Club for the Immediate Expansion of the Boundaries
of all Knowledge, both Human and
Divine.

“ZADOCKPRATTSVILLE,
June 11th, 18—.

“ZADOCKPRATTSVILLE,
June 11, 18—.

Author of the ‘Tropical Summer,’ &c.
   “HONORED AND DEAR SIR:—

Author of the ‘Tropical Summer,’ etc.
   “DEAR AND HONORED SIR:—

     “Official duty and private inclination in this present case most delightfully blend. What was the ardent desire of my heart, has now by the action of the Committee on Lectures become professionally obligatory upon me. As Chairman of our Committee on Lectures, I hereby beg the privilege of entreating that you will honor this Society by lecturing before it on any subject you may choose, and at any day most convenient to yourself. The subject of Human Destiny we would respectfully suggest, without however at all wishing to impede you in your own unbiased selection.

“Official responsibility and personal interest come together perfectly in this situation. What I've passionately wanted has now, thanks to the Committee on Lectures, become a professional obligation for me. As Chairman of our Committee on Lectures, I kindly ask you to honor this Society by giving a lecture on any topic you choose, at any date that works best for you. We would like to suggest the topic of Human Destiny, but we absolutely don’t want to limit your own free choice.”

“If you honor us by complying with this invitation, be assured, sir, that the Committee on Lectures will take the best care of you throughout your stay, and endeavor to make Zadockprattsville agreeable to you. A carriage will be in attendance at the Stage-house to convey yourself and luggage to the Inn, under full escort of the Committee on Lectures, with the Chairman at their head.

“If you honor us by accepting this invitation, please know, sir, that the Lecture Committee will take excellent care of you during your stay and will do their best to make Zadockprattsville enjoyable for you. A carriage will be waiting at the Stage-house to transport you and your luggage to the Inn, with full escort from the Lecture Committee, led by the Chairman.”

“Permit me to join my private homage
To my high official consideration for you,
And to subscribe myself
Very humbly your servant,
DONALD DUNDONALD.”

“Let me express my personal respects.”
To my great respect for you,
And to sign off as
Your faithful servant,
DONALD DUNDONALD.”


III.

BUT it was more especially the Lecture invitations coming from venerable, gray-headed metropolitan Societies, and indited by venerable gray-headed Secretaries, which far from elating filled the youthful Pierre with the sincerest sense of humility. Lecture? lecture? such a stripling as I lecture to fifty benches, with ten gray heads on each? five hundred gray heads in all! Shall my one, poor, inexperienced brain presume to lay down the law in a lecture to five hundred life-ripened understandings? It seemed too absurd for thought. Yet the five hundred, through their spokesman, had voluntarily extended this identical invitation to him. Then how could it be otherwise, than that an incipient Timonism should slide into Pierre, when he considered all the disgraceful inferences to be derived from such a fact. He called to mind, how that once upon a time, during a visit of his to the city, the police were called out to quell a portentous riot, occasioned by the vast press and contention for seats at the first lecture of an illustrious lad of nineteen, the author of “A Week at Coney Island.”

But it was especially the lecture invitations from respected, older metropolitan societies, written by venerable, gray-haired secretaries, that did not uplift but instead filled young Pierre with a deep sense of humility. Lecture? A kid like me lecturing to fifty rows of seats, each filled with ten older people? Five hundred older folks in total! Should my one, poor, inexperienced mind dare to put forth ideas in a lecture to five hundred well-seasoned minds? It seemed too ridiculous to even consider. Yet the five hundred, through their representative, had willingly sent him this very invitation. So how could it be any different than for a budding cynicism to creep into Pierre when he thought about all the shameful implications of such a situation? He remembered how, once during a visit to the city, the police had to be called in to handle a major riot caused by the overwhelming demand for seats at the first lecture of an impressive nineteen-year-old, the author of “A Week at Coney Island.”

It is needless to say that Pierre most conscientiously and respectfully declined all polite overtures of this sort.

It goes without saying that Pierre respectfully and thoroughly declined all polite advances of this kind.

Similar disenchantments of his cooler judgment did likewise deprive of their full lusciousness several other equally marked demonstrations of his literary celebrity. Applications for autographs showered in upon him; but in sometimes humorously gratifying the more urgent requests of these singular people Pierre could not but feel a pang of regret, that owing to the very youthful and quite unformed character of his handwriting, his signature did not possess that inflexible uniformity, which—for mere prudential reasons, if nothing more—should always mark the hand of illustrious men. His heart thrilled with sympathetic anguish for posterity, which would be certain to stand hopelessly perplexed before so many contradictory signatures of one supereminent name. Alas! posterity would be sure to conclude that they were forgeries all; that no chirographic relic of the sublime poet Glendinning survived to their miserable times.

Similar disappointments from his cooler judgment also took away the full richness of several other notable displays of his literary fame. Requests for autographs poured in; but while sometimes humorously accommodating the more pressing demands of these unique individuals, Pierre couldn't help but feel a pang of regret that, due to the very youthful and unrefined nature of his handwriting, his signature lacked the consistent uniformity that—if nothing else, for practical reasons—should always be evident in the handwriting of distinguished individuals. His heart ached with sympathetic sorrow for future generations, who would undoubtedly find themselves hopelessly confused by so many contradictory signatures from one preeminent name. Sadly, future generations would likely conclude that they were all forgeries, and that no handwritten relic of the sublime poet Glendinning had survived to their unfortunate times.

From the proprietors of the Magazines whose pages were honored by his effusions, he received very pressing epistolary solicitations for the loan of his portrait in oil, in order to take an engraving therefrom, for a frontispiece to their periodicals. But here again the most melancholy considerations obtruded. It had always been one of the lesser ambitions of Pierre, to sport a flowing beard, which he deemed the most noble corporeal badge of the man, not to speak of the illustrious author. But as yet he was beardless; and no cunning compound of Rowland and Son could force a beard which should arrive at maturity in any reasonable time for the frontispiece. Besides, his boyish features and whole expression were daily changing. Would he lend his authority to this unprincipled imposture upon Posterity? Honor forbade.

From the magazine owners whose pages featured his work, he received urgent letters asking to borrow his oil portrait to make an engraving for the cover of their publications. But once again, the saddest thoughts crept in. It had always been one of Pierre's smaller ambitions to have a flowing beard, which he considered the most noble physical sign of a man, not to mention a distinguished author. However, he was still without a beard, and no clever product from Rowland and Son could create a beard that would mature in time for the cover. Plus, his youthful features and overall expression were changing every day. Should he lend his name to this dishonest deception against future generations? Honor forbade it.

These epistolary petitions were generally couched in an elaborately respectful style; thereby intimating with what deep reverence his portrait would be handled, while unavoidably subjected to the discipline indispensable to obtain from it the engraved copy they prayed for. But one or two of the persons who made occasional oral requisitions upon him in this matter of his engraved portrait, seemed less regardful of the inherent respect due to every man’s portrait, much more, to that of a genius so celebrated as Pierre. They did not even seem to remember that the portrait of any man generally receives, and indeed is entitled to more reverence than the original man himself; since one may freely clap a celebrated friend on the shoulder, yet would by no means tweak his nose in his portrait. The reason whereof may be this: that the portrait is better entitled to reverence than the man; inasmuch as nothing belittling can be imagined concerning the portrait, whereas many unavoidably belittling things can be fancied as touching the man.

These written requests were usually framed in a very respectful way, suggesting how deeply they would treat his portrait, even though it would necessarily go through the careful process needed to get the engraved copy they were asking for. However, a couple of people who occasionally asked him about his engraved portrait seemed less mindful of the respect that should be afforded to anyone’s portrait, especially that of a celebrated genius like Pierre. They didn’t even seem to realize that a portrait generally deserves more respect than the person it represents; after all, you might casually slap a famous friend on the back, but you wouldn’t dream of pinching his nose in his portrait. The reason for this might be that the portrait deserves more reverence than the person, as there’s nothing degrading that can be imagined about the portrait, while many unflattering things could easily come to mind regarding the person.

Upon one occasion, happening suddenly to encounter a literary acquaintance—a joint editor of the “Captain Kidd Monthly”—who suddenly popped upon him round a corner, Pierre was startled by a rapid—“Good-morning, good-morning;—just the man I wanted:—come, step round now with me, and have your Daguerreotype taken;—get it engraved then in no time;—want it for the next issue.”

One day, Pierre unexpectedly ran into a literary acquaintance—a co-editor of the “Captain Kidd Monthly”—who suddenly appeared around the corner. Pierre was surprised by a quick, “Good morning, good morning;—just the person I needed:—come on, step over with me, and get your photo taken;—we can have it engraved in no time;—I need it for the next issue.”

So saying, this chief mate of Captain Kidd seized Pierre’s arm, and in the most vigorous manner was walking him off, like an officer a pickpocket, when Pierre civilly said—“Pray, sir, hold, if you please, I shall do no such thing.”—“Pooh, pooh—must have it—public property—come along—only a door or two now.”—“Public property!” rejoined Pierre, “that may do very well for the ‘Captain Kidd Monthly;’—it’s very Captain Kiddish to say so. But I beg to repeat that I do not intend to accede.”—“Don’t? Really?” cried the other, amazedly staring Pierre full in the countenance;—“why bless your soul, my portrait is published—long ago published!”—“Can’t help that, sir”—said Pierre. “Oh! come along, come along,” and the chief mate seized him again with the most uncompunctious familiarity by the arm. Though the sweetest-tempered youth in the world when but decently treated, Pierre had an ugly devil in him sometimes, very apt to be evoked by the personal profaneness of gentlemen of the Captain Kidd school of literature. “Look you, my good fellow,” said he, submitting to his impartial inspection a determinately double fist,—“drop my arm now—or I’ll drop you. To the devil with you and your Daguerreotype!”

So saying, the chief mate of Captain Kidd grabbed Pierre's arm and started dragging him off like an officer would a pickpocket when Pierre calmly said, “Excuse me, sir, please stop, I won’t go.” “Nonsense—this is a must—public property—let’s move—just a couple more doors,” the mate insisted. “Public property!” Pierre shot back, “That might work for the ‘Captain Kidd Monthly’—that's a very Captain Kidd thing to say. But I must say again, I refuse to comply.” “You won’t? Oh really?” the mate exclaimed, staring at Pierre in disbelief; “Well, bless your soul, my portrait has been published—published a long time ago!” “That doesn’t matter to me, sir,” Pierre replied. “Oh! Come on, come on,” and the chief mate grabbed him again with unwarranted familiarity. Although he was the sweetest youth in the world when treated decently, Pierre had a darker side that could easily be triggered by the bold rudeness of people from the Captain Kidd style of literature. “Listen here, my good man,” he said, raising his fists defiantly, “let go of my arm now—or I’ll take you down. To hell with you and your Daguerreotype!”

This incident, suggestive as it was at the time, in the sequel had a surprising effect upon Pierre. For he considered with what infinite readiness now, the most faithful portrait of any one could be taken by the Daguerreotype, whereas in former times a faithful portrait was only within the power of the moneyed, or mental aristocrats of the earth. How natural then the inference, that instead, as in old times, immortalizing a genius, a portrait now only dayalized a dunce. Besides, when every body has his portrait published, true distinction lies in not having yours published at all. For if you are published along with Tom, Dick, and Harry, and wear a coat of their cut, how then are you distinct from Tom, Dick, and Harry? Therefore, even so miserable a motive as downright personal vanity helped to operate in this matter with Pierre.

This incident, as suggestive as it was at the time, ended up having a surprising effect on Pierre. He thought about how easily a Daguerreotype could now capture the most accurate likeness of anyone, whereas in the past, a true portrait was only accessible to the wealthy or intellectual elite. It was natural to conclude that instead of immortalizing a genius, a portrait now merely “dayalized” a fool. Moreover, when everyone has their portrait published, real distinction comes from not having yours published at all. If you’re published alongside Tom, Dick, and Harry and wear a coat similar to theirs, how are you different from them? Therefore, even a petty motive like personal vanity played a role in this for Pierre.

Some zealous lovers of the general literature of the age, as well as declared devotees to his own great genius, frequently petitioned him for the materials wherewith to frame his biography. They assured him, that life of all things was most insecure. He might feel many years in him yet; time might go lightly by him; but in any sudden and fatal sickness, how would his last hours be embittered by the thought, that he was about to depart forever, leaving the world utterly unprovided with the knowledge of what were the precise texture and hue of the first trowsers he wore. These representations did certainly touch him in a very tender spot, not previously unknown to the schoolmaster. But when Pierre considered, that owing to his extreme youth, his own recollections of the past soon merged into all manner of half-memories and a general vagueness, he could not find it in his conscience to present such materials to the impatient biographers, especially as his chief verifying authority in these matters of his past career, was now eternally departed beyond all human appeal. His excellent nurse Clarissa had been dead four years and more. In vain a young literary friend, the well-known author of two Indexes and one Epic, to whom the subject happened to be mentioned, warmly espoused the cause of the distressed biographers; saying that however unpleasant, one must needs pay the penalty of celebrity; it was no use to stand back; and concluded by taking from the crown of his hat the proof-sheets of his own biography, which, with the most thoughtful consideration for the masses, was shortly to be published in the pamphlet form, price only a shilling.

Some enthusiastic lovers of contemporary literature, as well as devoted admirers of his exceptional talent, often asked him for information to help them write his biography. They assured him that life is incredibly uncertain. He might feel many years ahead of him; time might pass him by easily; but in the event of a sudden and serious illness, how would his final moments be affected by the thought that he was leaving forever, without the world knowing the exact details of the first trousers he ever wore? These arguments definitely struck a chord with him, something the schoolmaster was not unfamiliar with. However, when Pierre thought about how, due to his young age, his memories of the past quickly faded into various half-remembered moments and a general blur, he couldn't bring himself to give such material to the eager biographers, especially since his primary source for verifying past events was now permanently beyond reach. His beloved nurse Clarissa had been dead for over four years. A young literary friend, a well-known author of two Indexes and one Epic, tried in vain to advocate for the distressed biographers, insisting that, while uncomfortable, fame comes with a price; there was no point in resisting it. He concluded by removing from his hat the proof-sheets of his own biography, which was soon to be published as a pamphlet priced at just a shilling, keeping the readers' interests in mind.

It only the more bewildered and pained him, when still other and less delicate applicants sent him their regularly printed Biographico-Solicito Circulars, with his name written in ink; begging him to honor them and the world with a neat draft of his life, including criticisms on his own writings; the printed circular indiscriminately protesting, that undoubtedly he knew more of his own life than any other living man; and that only he who had put together the great works of Glendinning could be fully qualified thoroughly to analyze them, and cast the ultimate judgment upon their remarkable construction.

It only left him more confused and hurt when other, less considerate people sent him their printed Biographico-Solicito Circulars, with his name scribbled in ink; asking him to bless them and the world with a polished account of his life, including critiques of his own work. The printed notice mindlessly insisted that he clearly knew more about his own life than anyone else alive; and only he who had created the great works of Glendinning could be fully qualified to thoroughly analyze them and make the final judgment on their impressive structure.

Now, it was under the influence of the humiliating emotions engendered by things like the above; it was when thus haunted by publishers, engravers, editors, critics, autograph-collectors, portrait-fanciers, biographers, and petitioning and remonstrating literary friends of all sorts; it was then, that there stole into the youthful soul of Pierre, melancholy forebodings of the utter unsatisfactoriness of all human fame; since the most ardent profferings of the most martyrizing demonstrations in his behalf,—these he was sorrowfully obliged to turn away.

Now, it was under the weight of the humiliating feelings caused by things like those mentioned above; it was when he was plagued by publishers, engravers, editors, critics, autograph collectors, portrait lovers, biographers, and all sorts of literary friends who were pleading and complaining; it was then that a sense of melancholy crept into the young soul of Pierre, bringing with it a deep awareness of the complete unsatisfactoriness of all human fame; because he was sadly forced to turn away from even the most passionate offers of the most self-sacrificing support on his behalf.

And it may well be believed, that after the wonderful vital world-revelation so suddenly made to Pierre at the Meadows—a revelation which, at moments, in some certain things, fairly Timonized him—he had not failed to clutch with peculiar nervous detestation and contempt that ample parcel, containing the letters of his Biographico and other silly correspondents, which, in a less ferocious hour, he had filed away as curiosities. It was with an almost infernal grin, that he saw that particular heap of rubbish eternally quenched in the fire, and felt that as it was consumed before his eyes, so in his soul was forever killed the last and minutest undeveloped microscopic germ of that most despicable vanity to which those absurd correspondents thought to appeal.

And it's easy to believe that after the incredible life-changing experience Pierre had at the Meadows—a revelation that, at times, completely disgusted him—he didn't hesitate to grasp with a particular nervous hatred and disdain that large collection of letters from his Biographico and other foolish correspondents, which he had previously saved as curiosities during a less intense time. With an almost devilish grin, he watched that specific pile of trash get thoroughly burned in the fire, feeling that as it was destroyed before his eyes, so too was forever eliminated in his soul the last tiny undeveloped trace of that most pathetic vanity to which those ridiculous correspondents thought to appeal.

BOOK XVIII.
PIERRE, AS A JUVENILE AUTHOR, RECONSIDERED.

I.

INASMUCH as by various indirect intimations much more than ordinary natural genius has been imputed to Pierre, it may have seemed an inconsistency, that only the merest magazine papers should have been thus far the sole productions of his mind. Nor need it be added, that, in the soberest earnest, those papers contained nothing uncommon; indeed—entirely now to drop all irony, if hitherto any thing like that has been indulged in—those fugitive things of Master Pierre’s were the veriest common-place.

IASMUCH as various indirect hints have suggested that Pierre has much more than just ordinary natural talent, it might seem inconsistent that only the simplest magazine articles have been the only results of his creativity so far. There's no need to mention that, to be completely serious, those articles didn’t have anything extraordinary; in fact—putting aside any irony that may have been present before—those fleeting pieces by Master Pierre were thoroughly ordinary.

It is true, as I long before said, that Nature at Saddle Meadows had very early been as a benediction to Pierre;—had blown her wind-clarion to him from the blue hills, and murmured melodious secrecies to him by her streams and her woods. But while nature thus very early and very abundantly feeds us, she is very late in tutoring us as to the proper methodization of our diet. Or,—to change the metaphor,—there are immense quarries of fine marble; but how to get it out; how to chisel it; how to construct any temple? Youth must wholly quit, then, the quarry, for awhile; and not only go forth, and get tools to use in the quarry, but must go and thoroughly study architecture. Now the quarry-discoverer is long before the stone-cutter; and the stone-cutter is long before the architect; and the architect is long before the temple; for the temple is the crown of the world.

It’s true, as I said long ago, that Nature at Saddle Meadows was like a blessing to Pierre from a young age—she called to him with her winds from the blue hills and whispered beautiful secrets to him through her streams and woods. But while nature generously provides for us early on, she takes her time teaching us how to properly structure our nourishment. Or—if we switch metaphors—a great supply of beautiful marble exists; but how do you extract it? How do you carve it? How do you build a temple? Youth must step away from the quarry for a while; not only must they go out and gather the right tools for the quarry, but they also need to study architecture thoroughly. The discoverer of the quarry comes long before the stone-cutter; the stone-cutter comes long before the architect; and the architect comes long before the temple; for the temple is the pinnacle of the world.

Yes; Pierre was not only very unarchitectural at that time, but Pierre was very young, indeed, at that time. And it is often to be observed, that as in digging for precious metals in the mines, much earthy rubbish has first to be troublesomely handled and thrown out; so, in digging in one’s soul for the fine gold of genius, much dullness and common-place is first brought to light. Happy would it be, if the man possessed in himself some receptacle for his own rubbish of this sort: but he is like the occupant of a dwelling, whose refuse can not be clapped into his own cellar, but must be deposited in the street before his own door, for the public functionaries to take care of. No common-place is ever effectually got rid of, except by essentially emptying one’s self of it into a book; for once trapped in a book, then the book can be put into the fire, and all will be well. But they are not always put into the fire; and this accounts for the vast majority of miserable books over those of positive merit. Nor will any thoroughly sincere man, who is an author, ever be rash in precisely defining the period, when he has completely ridded himself of his rubbish, and come to the latent gold in his mine. It holds true, in every case, that the wiser a man is, the more misgivings he has on certain points.

Yes; Pierre was not only very unarchitectural at that time, but he was also quite young. It's often noticed that, just like when digging for precious metals in mines, a lot of unnecessary dirt has to be dealt with first. Similarly, when exploring one’s soul for the true gold of genius, a lot of dullness and mediocrity comes to the surface. It would be great if a person had a way to store this kind of junk within themselves, but instead, they are like someone living in a place where their trash can’t be thrown into their own cellar but has to be left out on the street for the authorities to handle. No mediocrity is truly eliminated except by pouring it into a book; once trapped in a book, it can then be thrown into the fire, and everything will be fine. But not all of them are burned, which explains the overwhelming number of terrible books compared to those with real merit. No genuinely sincere author will ever be reckless enough to pinpoint exactly when they have completely cleared away their rubbish and discovered the hidden gold in their mine. It’s true in every case that the wiser a person is, the more doubts they have about certain aspects.

It is well enough known, that the best productions of the best human intellects, are generally regarded by those intellects as mere immature freshman exercises, wholly worthless in themselves, except as initiatives for entering the great University of God after death. Certain it is, that if any inferences can be drawn from observations of the familiar lives of men of the greatest mark, their finest things, those which become the foolish glory of the world, are not only very poor and inconsiderable to themselves, but often positively distasteful; they would rather not have the book in the room. In minds comparatively inferior as compared with the above, these surmising considerations so sadden and unfit, that they become careless of what they write; go to their desks with discontent, and only remain there—victims to headache, and pain in the back—by the hard constraint of some social necessity. Equally paltry and despicable to them, are the works thus composed; born of unwillingness and the bill of the baker; the rickety offspring of a parent, careless of life herself, and reckless of the germ-life she contains. Let not the short-sighted world for a moment imagine, that any vanity lurks in such minds; only hired to appear on the stage, not voluntarily claiming the public attention; their utmost life-redness and glow is but rouge, washed off in private with bitterest tears; their laugh only rings because it is hollow; and the answering laugh is no laughter to them.

It is well-known that the greatest works of the most brilliant minds are usually seen by those very minds as just immature freshman efforts, entirely worthless on their own, except as a way to prepare for entering the great University of God after death. It's certain that if we can draw any conclusions from observing the everyday lives of the most notable individuals, their best works, which society foolishly praises, are not only quite poor and insignificant to them but often downright off-putting; they would prefer not to have the book in the room. In minds that are relatively inferior compared to these great thinkers, such gloomy thoughts can be so discouraging that they become indifferent to what they write; they approach their desks with dissatisfaction and only stay there—suffering from headaches and back pain—because some social obligation demands it. The works produced under such conditions are equally trivial and contemptible to them; they are born of reluctance and a hefty fee, the weak offspring of a parent who is careless about life and indifferent to the potential within them. Let not the shortsighted world for a moment think that any vanity exists in such minds; they are merely hired to perform on stage, not willingly seeking public attention; their brightest moments are just superficial, washed away in private with bitter tears; their laughter is only hollow, and the corresponding laughter doesn’t feel like laughter to them.

There is nothing so slipperily alluring as sadness; we become sad in the first place by having nothing stirring to do; we continue in it, because we have found a snug sofa at last. Even so, it may possibly be, that arrived at this quiet retrospective little episode in the career of my hero—this shallowly expansive embayed Tappan Zee of my otherwise deep-heady Hudson—I too begin to loungingly expand, and wax harmlessly sad and sentimental.

There’s nothing quite as tempting as sadness; we start feeling sad when we have nothing interesting to do; we stay in that gloom because we've finally found a comfortable spot to settle in. Still, it’s possible that now, reflecting on this calm, nostalgic moment in my hero’s journey—this shallow stretch of the Tappan Zee in my otherwise deep and intense Hudson—I too start to relax, feeling harmlessly sad and sentimental.

Now, what has been hitherto presented in reference to Pierre, concerning rubbish, as in some cases the unavoidable first-fruits of genius, is in no wise contradicted by the fact, that the first published works of many meritorious authors have given mature token of genius; for we do not know how many they previously published to the flames; or privately published in their own brains, and suppressed there as quickly. And in the inferior instances of an immediate literary success, in very young writers, it will be almost invariably observable, that for that instant success they were chiefly indebted to some rich and peculiar experience in life, embodied in a book, which because, for that cause, containing original matter, the author himself, forsooth, is to be considered original; in this way, many very original books, being the product of very unoriginal minds. Indeed, man has only to be but a little circumspect, and away flies the last rag of his vanity. The world is forever babbling of originality; but there never yet was an original man, in the sense intended by the world; the first man himself—who according to the Rabbins was also the first author—not being an original; the only original author being God. Had Milton’s been the lot of Caspar Hauser, Milton would have been vacant as he. For though the naked soul of man doth assuredly contain one latent element of intellectual productiveness; yet never was there a child born solely from one parent; the visible world of experience being that procreative thing which impregnates the muses; self-reciprocally efficient hermaphrodites being but a fable.

Now, what has been presented so far about Pierre and his rubbish, which in some cases is the unavoidable first result of genius, is not contradicted by the fact that the first published works of many deserving authors have clearly shown signs of brilliance. We don’t know how many they previously threw away or privately published in their minds and quickly suppressed. In the lesser examples of instant literary success among very young writers, it’s usually noticeable that they owe their immediate success primarily to some rich and unique life experience expressed in a book. Because of this, containing original material, the author themselves, , is considered original; in this way, many very original books come from very unoriginal minds. Indeed, a person just needs to be a bit careful, and all traces of their vanity disappear. The world is always talking about originality, but there has never been an original person in the way the world means; even the first man himself—who, according to the Rabbis, was also the first author—was not original; the only original author is God. If Milton had the same fate as Caspar Hauser, Milton would have been just as vacant. For while the naked soul of man certainly contains a latent element of intellectual productivity, no child has ever been born from only one parent; the visible world of experience is what fertilizes the muses; self-reciprocating hermaphrodites are just a myth.

There is infinite nonsense in the world on all of these matters; hence blame me not if I contribute my mite. It is impossible to talk or to write without apparently throwing oneself helplessly open; the Invulnerable Knight wears his visor down. Still, it is pleasant to chat; for it passes the time ere we go to our beds; and speech is farther incited, when like strolling improvisatores of Italy, we are paid for our breath. And we are only too thankful when the gapes of the audience dismiss us with the few ducats we earn.

There's a ton of nonsense in the world about these topics, so don’t blame me if I add my small contribution. It’s impossible to talk or write without feeling exposed; the Invincible Knight keeps his helmet down. Still, it’s nice to chat; it helps pass the time before we head to bed, and it feels even better when, like wandering performers in Italy, we get paid for our words. We’re just grateful when the audience’s yawns send us off with the little coins we earn.


II.

IT may have been already inferred, that the pecuniary plans of Pierre touching his independent means of support in the city were based upon his presumed literary capabilities. For what else could he do? He knew no profession, no trade. Glad now perhaps might he have been, if Fate had made him a blacksmith, and not a gentleman, a Glendinning, and a genius. But here he would have been unpardonably rash, had he not already, in some degree, actually tested the fact, in his own personal experience, that it is not altogether impossible for a magazine contributor to Juvenile American literature to receive a few pence in exchange for his ditties. Such cases stand upon imperishable record, and it were both folly and ingratitude to disown them.

IT may have already inferred that Pierre’s financial plans for supporting himself in the city relied on his supposed writing abilities. What else could he do? He didn’t know a profession or trade. Perhaps he would have been glad if Fate had made him a blacksmith instead of a gentleman, a Glendinning, and a genius. But it would have been reckless for him not to have already, to some extent, tested the fact in his own experience that it’s not entirely impossible for a magazine contributor to children’s American literature to earn a few cents for his works. Such cases are well-documented, and it would be both foolish and ungrateful to deny them.

But since the fine social position and noble patrimony of Pierre, had thus far rendered it altogether unnecessary for him to earn the least farthing of his own in the world, whether by hand or by brain; it may seem desirable to explain a little here as we go. We shall do so, but always including, the preamble.

But since Pierre's respectable social standing and noble inheritance had made it completely unnecessary for him to earn a single penny on his own, whether through physical labor or intellectual work, it might be helpful to clarify a bit as we continue. We will do so, but always including the introduction.

Sometimes every possible maxim or thought seems an old one; yet it is among the elder of the things in that unaugmentable stock, that never mind what one’s situation may be, however prosperous and happy, he will still be impatient of it; he will still reach out of himself, and beyond every present condition. So, while many a poor be-inked galley-slave, toiling with the heavy oar of a quill, to gain something wherewithal to stave off the cravings of nature; and in his hours of morbid self-reproach, regarding his paltry wages, at all events, as an unavoidable disgrace to him; while this galley-slave of letters would have leaped with delight—reckless of the feeble seams of his pantaloons—at the most distant prospect of inheriting the broad farms of Saddle Meadows, lord of an all-sufficing income, and forever exempt from wearing on his hands those treacherous plague-spots of indigence—videlicet, blots from the inkstand;—Pierre himself, the undoubted and actual possessor of the things only longingly and hopelessly imagined by the other; the then top of Pierre’s worldly ambition, was the being able to boast that he had written such matters as publishers would pay something for in the way of a mere business transaction, which they thought would prove profitable. Yet altogether weak and silly as this may seem in Pierre, let us preambillically examine a little further, and see if it be so indeed.

Sometimes every possible saying or idea feels like an old one; yet it’s among the oldest of the things in that unchanging stock, that no matter what one’s situation may be, no matter how successful and happy, he will still be impatient with it; he will still reach beyond himself and every current situation. So, while many a poor, ink-stained writer, toiling with the heavy oar of a pen, struggles to earn something to satisfy his basic needs; and during moments of harsh self-criticism, sees his meager pay as an unavoidable shame; while this literary laborer would leap for joy—forgetting the fragile seams of his pants—at the mere chance of inheriting the vast farms of Saddle Meadows, becoming the master of a sufficient income, forever free from those telltale markers of poverty—namely, ink stains on his hands;—Pierre himself, the undeniable and actual owner of the things that the other only longs for hopelessly; Pierre’s greatest worldly ambition at the time was simply to be able to claim he had written things that publishers would pay something for, purely as a business transaction, which they thought would be profitable. Yet, as weak and foolish as this may seem in Pierre, let’s take a closer look and see if that’s truly the case.

Pierre was proud; and a proud man—proud with the sort of pride now meant—ever holds but lightly those things, however beneficent, which he did not for himself procure. Were such pride carried out to its legitimate end, the man would eat no bread, the seeds whereof he had not himself put into the soil, not entirely without humiliation, that even that seed must be borrowed from some previous planter. A proud man likes to feel himself in himself, and not by reflection in others. He likes to be not only his own Alpha and Omega, but to be distinctly all the intermediate gradations, and then to slope off on his own spine either way, into the endless impalpable ether. What a glory it was then to Pierre, when first in his two gentlemanly hands he jingled the wages of labor! Talk of drums and the fife; the echo of coin of one’s own earning is more inspiring than all the trumpets of Sparta. How disdainfully now he eyed the sumptuousness of his hereditary halls—the hangings, and the pictures, and the bragging historic armorials and the banners of the Glendinning renown; confident, that if need should come, he would not be forced to turn resurrectionist, and dig up his grandfather’s Indian-chief grave for the ancestral sword and shield, ignominiously to pawn them for a living! He could live on himself. Oh, twice-blessed now, in the feeling of practical capacity, was Pierre.

Pierre was proud; and a proud man—proud in the way we understand pride today—holds lightly those things, no matter how beneficial, that he didn’t earn himself. If that pride were taken to its extreme, a man would refuse to eat any bread whose seeds he hadn’t planted himself, and he’d feel humiliated to realize that even those seeds had to come from someone else’s garden. A proud man wants to feel his own existence, not just see it reflected in others. He wants to be not just his own beginning and end, but to embody every step in between, and then stretch out into the endless unknown on his own terms. It was such a glorious moment for Pierre when he first jingled the coins from his own labor in his gentlemanly hands! Forget drums and flutes; the sound of money you’ve earned yourself is more inspiring than all the trumpets of Sparta. Now, he looked down with disdain at the opulence of his ancestral home—the tapestries, the paintings, the boastful family crests, and the banners of the Glendinning legacy; he was confident that if the time came, he wouldn’t have to become a grave digger, unearthing his grandfather’s Indian-chief grave for the family sword and shield, only to shamefully pawn them for a living! He could support himself. Oh, how blessed Pierre felt now, full of practical ability.

The mechanic, the day-laborer, has but one way to live; his body must provide for his body. But not only could Pierre in some sort, do that; he could do the other; and letting his body stay lazily at home, send off his soul to labor, and his soul would come faithfully back and pay his body her wages. So, some unprofessional gentlemen of the aristocratic South, who happen to own slaves, give those slaves liberty to go and seek work, and every night return with their wages, which constitute those idle gentlemen’s income. Both ambidexter and quadruple-armed is that man, who in a day-laborer’s body, possesses a day-laboring soul. Yet let not such an one be over-confident. Our God is a jealous God; He wills not that any man should permanently possess the least shadow of His own self-sufficient attributes. Yoke the body to the soul, and put both to the plough, and the one or the other must in the end assuredly drop in the furrow. Keep, then, thy body effeminate for labor, and thy soul laboriously robust; or else thy soul effeminate for labor, and thy body laboriously robust. Elect! the two will not lastingly abide in one yoke. Thus over the most vigorous and soaring conceits, doth the cloud of Truth come stealing; thus doth the shot, even of a sixty-two-pounder pointed upward, light at last on the earth; for strive we how we may, we can not overshoot the earth’s orbit, to receive the attractions of other planets; Earth’s law of gravitation extends far beyond her own atmosphere.

The mechanic and the day laborer have only one way to survive: their bodies must work to support themselves. But Pierre had a unique advantage; he could keep his body at home, while sending his soul out to work, and his soul would return each night to pay his body its wages. Similarly, some casual gentlemen from the aristocratic South, who own slaves, allow those slaves to go out and find work, returning every night with their earnings, which become the income for those idle gentlemen. That man, possessing a laboring body and a laboring soul, is truly versatile and powerful. Yet, one should not be overly confident. Our God is a jealous God; He does not allow anyone to hold even the slightest trace of His self-sufficiency forever. If you bind the body to the soul and put both to work, one or the other will eventually falter. Therefore, keep your body weak for work while making your soul strong for labor, or alternatively, make your body strong and your soul soft. Choose! The two cannot coexist harmoniously for long. Thus, even the grandest ambitions are overshadowed by the cloud of Truth; thus, even a cannonball fired skyward will ultimately fall back to the earth; no matter how hard we try, we cannot exceed the earth's orbit and be drawn to other planets; Earth's gravitational pull extends far beyond its atmosphere.

In the operative opinion of this world, he who is already fully provided with what is necessary for him, that man shall have more; while he who is deplorably destitute of the same, he shall have taken away from him even that which he hath. Yet the world vows it is a very plain, downright matter-of-fact, plodding, humane sort of world. It is governed only by the simplest principles, and scorns all ambiguities, all transcendentals, and all manner of juggling. Now some imaginatively heterodoxical men are often surprisingly twitted upon their willful inverting of all common-sense notions, their absurd and all-displacing transcendentals, which say three is four, and two and two make ten. But if the eminent Jugglarius himself ever advocated in mere words a doctrine one thousandth part so ridiculous and subversive of all practical sense, as that doctrine which the world actually and eternally practices, of giving unto him who already hath more than enough, still more of the superfluous article, and taking away from him who hath nothing at all, even that which he hath,—then is the truest book in the world a lie.

In today's world, it seems that whoever already has what they need gets even more; meanwhile, those who are desperately lacking will lose even what little they have. Yet, the world insists it's very straightforward, practical, and humane. It claims to operate on the simplest principles, dismissing any complexities or abstract ideas. Some unconventional thinkers are often mocked for their willful twisting of common-sense ideas, presenting absurd concepts that suggest three equals four, and two plus two equals ten. But if the great Juggler himself ever promoted an idea even remotely as ridiculous and contrary to common sense as the actual practice of the world—giving more to those who already have more than enough while taking away from those who have nothing at all, even what little they possess—then the most honest book in the world would be a lie.

Wherefore we see that the so-called Transcendentalists are not the only people who deal in Transcendentals. On the contrary, we seem to see that the Utilitarians,—the every-day world’s people themselves, far transcend those inferior Transcendentalists by their own incomprehensible worldly maxims. And—what is vastly more—with the one party, their Transcendentals are but theoretic and inactive, and therefore harmless; whereas with the other, they are actually clothed in living deeds.

So, we see that the so-called Transcendentalists aren't the only ones involved with Transcendentals. In fact, it seems like the Utilitarians—the everyday people—far surpass those lesser Transcendentalists with their own perplexing worldly principles. And—what's even more significant—while one group's Transcendentals are just theoretical and inactive, making them harmless, the other group's are actually embodied in real actions.

The highly graveling doctrine and practice of the world, above cited, had in some small degree been manifested in the case of Pierre. He prospectively possessed the fee of several hundred farms scattered over part of two adjoining counties; and now the proprietor of that popular periodical, the Gazelle Magazine, sent him several additional dollars for his sonnets. That proprietor (though in sooth, he never read the sonnets, but referred them to his professional adviser; and was so ignorant, that, for a long time previous to the periodical’s actually being started, he insisted upon spelling the Gazelle with a g for the z, as thus: Gagelle; maintaining, that in the Gazelle connection, the z was a mere impostor, and that the g was soft; for he was a judge of softness, and could speak from experience); that proprietor was undoubtedly a Transcendentalist; for did he not act upon the Transcendental doctrine previously set forth?

The highly grating doctrine and practice of the world mentioned earlier had shown itself in some small way in Pierre's case. He owned the rights to several hundred farms spread across two neighboring counties. Now, the owner of the popular magazine, Gazelle Magazine, had sent him some extra money for his sonnets. That owner (even though he never actually read the sonnets but passed them on to his professional advisor; and was so clueless that, long before the magazine was launched, he insisted on spelling Gazelle with a g instead of a z, as Gagelle; arguing that in the context of Gazelle, the z was just a fraud, and that the g was soft; because he considered himself an expert on softness and could speak from experience); that owner was definitely a Transcendentalist; for did he not act according to the Transcendental doctrine previously discussed?

Now, the dollars derived from his ditties, these Pierre had always invested in cigars; so that the puffs which indirectly brought him his dollars were again returned, but as perfumed puffs; perfumed with the sweet leaf of Havanna. So that this highly-celebrated and world-renowned Pierre—the great author—whose likeness the world had never seen (for had he not repeatedly refused the world his likeness?), this famous poet, and philosopher, author of “The Tropical Summer: a Sonnet;” against whose very life several desperadoes were darkly plotting (for had not the biographers sworn they would have it!); this towering celebrity—there he would sit smoking, and smoking, mild and self-festooned as a vapory mountain. It was very involuntarily and satisfactorily reciprocal. His cigars were lighted in two ways: lighted by the sale of his sonnets, and lighted by the printed sonnets themselves.

Now, the money he made from his songs, Pierre always spent on cigars; so the puffs that indirectly earned him those dollars were returned, but as fragrant smoke, scented with sweet Havana tobacco. So this famously celebrated and world-renowned Pierre—the great author—whose image the world had never seen (since he had repeatedly refused to share it), this famous poet and philosopher, creator of “The Tropical Summer: a Sonnet;” for whose very life several dangerous figures were darkly plotting (because hadn’t the biographers sworn to make it happen!); this towering celebrity—there he would sit, smoking and smoking, mild and adorned like a misty mountain. It was quite involuntary and pleasingly reciprocal. His cigars were lit in two ways: ignited by the sale of his sonnets, and ignited by the printed sonnets themselves.

For even at that early time in his authorial life, Pierre, however vain of his fame, was not at all proud of his paper. Not only did he make allumettes of his sonnets when published, but was very careless about his discarded manuscripts; they were to be found lying all round the house; gave a great deal of trouble to the housemaids in sweeping; went for kindlings to the fires; and were forever flitting out of the windows, and under the door-sills, into the faces of people passing the manorial mansion. In this reckless, indifferent way of his, Pierre himself was a sort of publisher. It is true his more familiar admirers often earnestly remonstrated with him, against this irreverence to the primitive vestments of his immortal productions; saying, that whatever had once felt the nib of his mighty pen, was thenceforth sacred as the lips which had but once saluted the great toe of the Pope. But hardened as he was to these friendly censurings, Pierre never forbade that ardent appreciation of “The Tear,” who, finding a small fragment of the original manuscript containing a dot (tear), over an i (eye), esteemed the significant event providential; and begged the distinguished favor of being permitted to have it for a brooch; and ousted a cameo-head of Homer, to replace it with the more invaluable gem. He became inconsolable, when being caught in a rain, the dot (tear) disappeared from over the i (eye); so that the strangeness and wonderfulness of the sonnet was still conspicuous; in that though the least fragment of it could weep in a drought, yet did it become all tearless in a shower.

Even at that early stage in his writing career, Pierre, despite being proud of his fame, wasn't at all proud of his work. Not only did he turn his sonnets into kindling when they were published, but he also didn't care much about his discarded manuscripts; they were scattered all around the house, giving a lot of trouble to the maids when they swept, serving as fuel for the fires, and constantly blowing out of the windows and under the doorways into the faces of people passing by the mansion. In this careless, indifferent manner, Pierre himself acted like a sort of publisher. It’s true that his closer admirers often earnestly urged him to stop showing such irreverence towards the original forms of his immortal works, saying that anything that had once felt the touch of his powerful pen was sacred, just like the lips that had once kissed the Pope's toe. But even though he was used to this friendly criticism, Pierre never stopped that enthusiastic admirer of “The Tear," who, upon finding a small fragment of the original manuscript with a dot (tear) over an i (eye), considered it a significant event and eagerly asked to keep it as a brooch, replacing a cameo of Homer with this more precious gem. He became inconsolable when he got caught in the rain, and the dot (tear) disappeared from over the i (eye); yet the strangeness and wonder of the sonnet were still evident because, even though the smallest fragment could weep in a drought, it became completely tearless in a shower.

But this indifferent and supercilious amateur—deaf to the admiration of the world; the enigmatically merry and renowned author of “The Tear;” the pride of the Gazelle Magazine, on whose flaunting cover his name figured at the head of all contributors—(no small men either; for their lives had all been fraternally written by each other, and they had clubbed, and had their likenesses all taken by the aggregate job, and published on paper, all bought at one shop) this high-prestiged Pierre—whose future popularity and voluminousness had become so startlingly announced by what he had already written, that certain speculators came to the Meadows to survey its water-power, if any, with a view to start a paper-mill expressly for the great author, and so monopolize his stationery dealings;—this vast being,—spoken of with awe by all merely youthful aspirants for fame; this age-neutralizing Pierre;—before whom an old gentleman of sixty-five, formerly librarian to Congress, on being introduced to him at the Magazine publishers’, devoutly took off his hat, and kept it so, and remained standing, though Pierre was socially seated with his hat on;—this wonderful, disdainful genius—but only life-amateur as yet—is now soon to appear in a far different guise. He shall now learn, and very bitterly learn, that though the world worship Mediocrity and Common Place, yet hath it fire and sword for all cotemporary Grandeur; that though it swears that it fiercely assails all Hypocrisy, yet hath it not always an ear for Earnestness.

But this indifferent and arrogant amateur—unmoved by the world's admiration; the mysteriously cheerful and well-known author of “The Tear;” the pride of Gazelle Magazine, where his name prominently topped the list of contributors—(not small names either; because they had all written warmly about each other, collaborated, and had their pictures taken as a group, which were published on paper, all sourced from the same place)—this highly regarded Pierre—whose future fame and prolific output had been so dramatically foretold by what he had already produced, that some investors came to the Meadows to assess its water supply, if any, hoping to start a paper mill just for the great author, and monopolize his stationery sales;—this enormous figure, discussed reverently by all young aspirants for fame; this ageless Pierre;—before whom a 65-year-old man, a former librarian to Congress, when introduced to him at the magazine publishers’, respectfully removed his hat, kept it off, and stood despite Pierre being seated with his hat on;—this remarkable, scornful genius—but still a mere amateur at life—will soon appear in a very different light. He is about to learn, and learn very painfully, that while the world may worship Mediocrity and the Ordinary, it wields fire and sword against any contemporary Greatness; that although it proclaims its fierce opposition to Hypocrisy, it doesn’t always lend an ear to Sincerity.

And though this state of things, united with the ever multiplying freshets of new books, seems inevitably to point to a coming time, when the mass of humanity reduced to one level of dotage, authors shall be scarce as alchymists are to-day, and the printing-press be reckoned a small invention:—yet even now, in the foretaste of this let us hug ourselves, oh, my Aurelian! that though the age of authors be passing, the hours of earnestness shall remain!

And although this situation, combined with the ever-increasing flood of new books, clearly suggests a future where humanity will be dumbed down to a common level, making authors as rare as alchemists are today, and considering the printing press as a minor invention:—even now, as a preview of this, let’s take comfort, oh, my Aurelian! that even though the era of authors is fading, the moments of seriousness will endure!

BOOK XIX.
THE CHURCH OF THE APOSTLES.

I.

IN the lower old-fashioned part of the city, in a narrow street—almost a lane—once filled with demure-looking dwellings, but now chiefly with immense lofty warehouses of foreign importers; and not far from the corner where the lane intersected with a very considerable but contracted thoroughfare for merchants and their clerks, and their carmen and porters; stood at this period a rather singular and ancient edifice, a relic of the more primitive time. The material was a grayish stone, rudely cut and masoned into walls of surprising thickness and strength; along two of which walls—the side ones—were distributed as many rows of arched and stately windows. A capacious, square, and wholly unornamented tower rose in front to twice the height of the body of the church; three sides of this tower were pierced with small and narrow apertures. Thus far, in its external aspect, the building—now more than a century old,—sufficiently attested for what purpose it had originally been founded. In its rear, was a large and lofty plain brick structure, with its front to the rearward street, but its back presented to the back of the church, leaving a small, flagged, and quadrangular vacancy between. At the sides of this quadrangle, three stories of homely brick colonnades afforded covered communication between the ancient church, and its less elderly adjunct. A dismantled, rusted, and forlorn old railing of iron fencing in a small courtyard in front of the rearward building, seemed to hint, that the latter had usurped an unoccupied space formerly sacred as the old church’s burial inclosure. Such a fancy would have been entirely true. Built when that part of the city was devoted to private residences, and not to warehouses and offices as now, the old Church of the Apostles had had its days of sanctification and grace; but the tide of change and progress had rolled clean through its broad-aisle and side-aisles, and swept by far the greater part of its congregation two or three miles up town. Some stubborn and elderly old merchants and accountants, lingered awhile among its dusty pews, listening to the exhortations of a faithful old pastor, who, sticking to his post in this flight of his congregation, still propped his half-palsied form in the worm-eaten pulpit, and occasionally pounded—though now with less vigorous hand—the moth-eaten covering of its desk. But it came to pass, that this good old clergyman died; and when the gray-headed and bald-headed remaining merchants and accountants followed his coffin out of the broad-aisle to see it reverently interred; then that was the last time that ever the old edifice witnessed the departure of a regular worshiping assembly from its walls. The venerable merchants and accountants held a meeting, at which it was finally decided, that, hard and unwelcome as the necessity might be, yet it was now no use to disguise the fact, that the building could no longer be efficiently devoted to its primitive purpose. It must be divided into stores; cut into offices; and given for a roost to the gregarious lawyers. This intention was executed, even to the making offices high up in the tower; and so well did the thing succeed, that ultimately the church-yard was invaded for a supplemental edifice, likewise to be promiscuously rented to the legal crowd. But this new building very much exceeded the body of the church in height. It was some seven stories; a fearful pile of Titanic bricks, lifting its tiled roof almost to a level with the top of the sacred tower.

IN the old, lower part of the city, on a narrow street—almost a lane—once lined with modest houses, but now mainly occupied by huge warehouses of foreign importers; and not far from the corner where the lane met a busy yet narrow road for merchants, their clerks, carmen, and porters; there stood at this time a rather unusual and old building, a remnant of a simpler era. The material was gray stone, roughly shaped and built into surprisingly thick and strong walls; two of these walls—the side ones—featured several rows of arched and elegant windows. A large, square, and completely unadorned tower rose in front, reaching twice the height of the main structure of the church; three sides of this tower were fitted with small, narrow openings. This external appearance of the building—now over a century old—clearly indicated its original purpose. Behind it was a large, tall, plain brick structure facing the rear street, but its back was adjacent to the back of the church, leaving a small, paved, square space between them. On the sides of this square, three stories of simple brick colonnades provided covered access between the old church and its newer addition. A broken, rusted, and neglected old iron railing surrounded a small courtyard in front of the rear building, suggesting that this space had once been a sacred burial ground for the old church. This notion would have been entirely accurate. Built when that area of the city was dedicated to private homes, rather than warehouses and offices as it is now, the old Church of the Apostles had its share of sanctity and grace; but the forces of change and progress had swept through its broad aisle and side aisles, taking most of its congregation two or three miles uptown. Some stubborn and elderly merchants and accountants lingered in the dusty pews, listening to the heartfelt sermons of a devoted old pastor, who, despite his congregation’s exodus, still managed to hold his position, propping his frail form in the decaying pulpit and occasionally thumping—though now with less force—the worn covering of its lectern. Eventually, this good old clergyman passed away; and when the remaining gray-haired and balding merchants and accountants accompanied his coffin out of the main aisle to see it respectfully buried; that marked the last time that the old building ever witnessed a regular worshipping congregation leave its walls. The aging merchants and accountants held a meeting, where it was ultimately decided that, however hard and unwelcome it was, it was time to acknowledge that the building could no longer effectively serve its original purpose. It needed to be converted into stores; divided into offices; and designated as a place for the social lawyers. This plan was put into action, even modifying the tower to create offices high above; and it worked out so well that eventually the churchyard was repurposed for another building, also to be rented out to the legal crowd. However, this new structure greatly overshadowed the church itself in height. It was about seven stories tall; a daunting stack of massive bricks, bringing its tiled roof nearly to the level of the top of the sacred tower.

In this ambitious erection the proprietors went a few steps, or rather a few stories, too far. For as people would seldom willingly fall into legal altercations unless the lawyers were always very handy to help them; so it is ever an object with lawyers to have their offices as convenient as feasible to the street; on the ground-floor, if possible, without a single acclivity of a step; but at any rate not in the seventh story of any house, where their clients might be deterred from employing them at all, if they were compelled to mount seven long flights of stairs, one over the other, with very brief landings, in order even to pay their preliminary retaining fees. So, from some time after its throwing open, the upper stories of the less ancient attached edifice remained almost wholly without occupants; and by the forlorn echoes of their vacuities, right over the head of the business-thriving legal gentlemen below, must—to some few of them at least—have suggested unwelcome similitudes, having reference to the crowded state of their basement-pockets, as compared with the melancholy condition of their attics;—alas! full purses and empty heads! This dreary posture of affairs, however, was at last much altered for the better, by the gradual filling up of the vacant chambers on high, by scores of those miscellaneous, bread-and-cheese adventurers, and ambiguously professional nondescripts in very genteel but shabby black, and unaccountable foreign-looking fellows in blue spectacles; who, previously issuing from unknown parts of the world, like storks in Holland, light on the eaves, and in the attics of lofty old buildings in most large sea-port towns. Here they sit and talk like magpies; or descending in quest of improbable dinners, are to be seen drawn up along the curb in front of the eating-houses, like lean rows of broken-hearted pelicans on a beach; their pockets loose, hanging down and flabby, like the pelican’s pouches when fish are hard to be caught. But these poor, penniless devils still strive to make ample amends for their physical forlornness, by resolutely reveling in the region of blissful ideals.

In this ambitious building, the owners went a bit too far with the design. Just as people rarely choose to get involved in legal disputes unless lawyers are easily accessible, it's important for lawyers to have their offices as close to the street as possible—preferably on the ground floor without any steps; at the very least, not on the seventh floor of a building. If clients have to climb seven long flights of stairs, one after the other, with only narrow landings, they might decide not to use their services, even for simple things like paying retainer fees. As a result, for some time after it opened, the upper floors of the less ancient connected building remained mostly empty. The haunting echoes of their emptiness above the thriving lawyers below must have reminded some of them, at least, of the stark contrast between their overflowing wallets and the sad state of their empty upper floors—oh, how ironic: full pockets but empty minds! Fortunately, things eventually improved when those upper floors gradually filled up with various oddball characters, a mix of casual workers, vaguely professional types in worn-out black suits, and inexplicable foreign-looking guys in blue glasses. These newcomers seemed to emerge from nowhere, much like storks in Holland, landing on rooftops and in the attics of tall old buildings in major port cities. They sit around chattering excitedly, and when they venture out in search of unlikely meals, they can be spotted lined up along the curb in front of restaurants—like a sad row of skinny pelicans on the beach, their pockets dangling loosely and flabbily, similar to a pelican's pouch when fish are hard to catch. But these poor, broke souls still try to make up for their physical struggles by wholeheartedly indulging in the pursuit of lofty ideals.

They are mostly artists of various sorts; painters, or sculptors, or indigent students, or teachers of languages, or poets, or fugitive French politicians, or German philosophers. Their mental tendencies, however heterodox at times, are still very fine and spiritual upon the whole; since the vacuity of their exchequers leads them to reject the coarse materialism of Hobbs, and incline to the airy exaltations of the Berkelyan philosophy. Often groping in vain in their pockets, they can not but give in to the Descartian vortices; while the abundance of leisure in their attics (physical and figurative), unite with the leisure in their stomachs, to fit them in an eminent degree for that undivided attention indispensable to the proper digesting of the sublimated Categories of Kant; especially as Kant (can’t) is the one great palpable fact in their pervadingly impalpable lives. These are the glorious paupers, from whom I learn the profoundest mysteries of things; since their very existence in the midst of such a terrible precariousness of the commonest means of support, affords a problem on which many speculative nutcrackers have been vainly employed. Yet let me here offer up three locks of my hair, to the memory of all such glorious paupers who have lived and died in this world. Surely, and truly I honor them—noble men often at bottom—and for that very reason I make bold to be gamesome about them; for where fundamental nobleness is, and fundamental honor is due, merriment is never accounted irreverent. The fools and pretenders of humanity, and the impostors and baboons among the gods, these only are offended with raillery; since both those gods and men whose titles to eminence are secure, seldom worry themselves about the seditious gossip of old apple-women, and the skylarkings of funny little boys in the street.

They are mostly artists of different kinds: painters, sculptors, struggling students, language teachers, poets, runaway French politicians, and German philosophers. Their thoughts, while sometimes unconventional, are overall very refined and spiritual; since being broke makes them reject the crass materialism of Hobbes and gravitate towards the lofty ideas of Berkeley's philosophy. Often fumbling through empty pockets, they inevitably get caught up in Descartes' swirling ideas; while the extra time they have in their attics (both literally and figuratively) combined with the emptiness in their stomachs, uniquely positions them to focus intensely on digesting the refined concepts of Kant—especially since Kant (can’t) is the one undeniable aspect of their largely intangible lives. These are the magnificent paupers, from whom I learn the deepest truths about existence; their very survival amidst such dire uncertainty regarding basic sustenance presents a dilemma that many thinkers have tried and failed to solve. Yet let me take a moment to acknowledge the memory of all those glorious paupers who have lived and died in this world. Truly, I respect them—noble souls at heart—and for that reason, I feel free to be playful about them; because where there's genuine nobility, true honor is deserved, and joyfulness is never seen as disrespectful. It's the fools and pretenders in humanity, along with the impostors and clowns among the gods, who are truly offended by humor; because those gods and men who have secure titles to greatness rarely get bothered by the rebellious chatter of old women selling apples or the playful antics of silly little boys in the street.

When the substance is gone, men cling to the shadow. Places once set apart to lofty purposes, still retain the name of that loftiness, even when converted to the meanest uses. It would seem, as if forced by imperative Fate to renounce the reality of the romantic and lofty, the people of the present would fain make a compromise by retaining some purely imaginative remainder. The curious effects of this tendency is oftenest evinced in those venerable countries of the old transatlantic world; where still over the Thames one bridge yet retains the monastic tide of Blackfriars; though not a single Black Friar, but many a pickpocket, has stood on that bank since a good ways beyond the days of Queen Bess; where still innumerable other historic anomalies sweetly and sadly remind the present man of the wonderful procession that preceded him in his new generation. Nor—though the comparative recentness of our own foundation upon these Columbian shores, excludes any considerable participation in these attractive anomalies,—yet are we not altogether, in our more elderly towns, wholly without some touch of them, here and there. It was thus with the ancient Church of the Apostles—better known, even in its primitive day, under the abbreviative of The Apostles—which, though now converted from its original purpose to one so widely contrasting, yet still retained its majestical name. The lawyer or artist tenanting its chambers, whether in the new building or the old, when asked where he was to be found, invariably replied,—At the Apostles’. But because now, at last, in the course of the inevitable transplantations of the more notable localities of the various professions in a thriving and amplifying town, the venerable spot offered not such inducements as before to the legal gentlemen; and as the strange nondescript adventurers and artists, and indigent philosophers of all sorts, crowded in as fast as the others left; therefore, in reference to the metaphysical strangeness of these curious inhabitants, and owing in some sort to the circumstance, that several of them were well-known Teleological Theorists, and Social Reformers, and political propagandists of all manner of heterodoxical tenets; therefore, I say, and partly, peradventure, from some slight waggishness in the public; the immemorial popular name of the ancient church itself was participatingly transferred to the dwellers therein. So it came to pass, that in the general fashion of the day, he who had chambers in the old church was familiarly styled an Apostle.

When the substance is gone, people hold on to the shadow. Places that were once dedicated to noble purposes still keep that grand name, even when they’ve been turned to the most ordinary uses. It seems that, forced by fate to give up the reality of the romantic and noble, today’s people want to compromise by holding onto some purely imaginative remnant. This curious tendency is often seen in the old countries across the ocean, where one bridge still bears the name of Blackfriars over the Thames; not a single Black Friar has stood on that bank since long before Queen Elizabeth’s time, and yet many pickpockets have. Numerous other historical anomalies sweetly and sadly remind us of the magnificent past that came before our new generation. And while our own foundation on these American shores is relatively recent, meaning we don’t have much involvement in these captivating anomalies, we aren’t entirely lacking in them, especially in our older towns. This was the case with the ancient Church of the Apostles—better known even in its early days simply as The Apostles—which, although it has now been converted to a purpose that is vastly different from its original one, still keeps its majestic name. The lawyer or artist renting its offices, whether in the new building or the old, would always respond with, “At the Apostles’” when asked where to find him. However, as time passed and neighborhoods transformed, the once-popular location offered fewer incentives for legal professionals, and a stream of eclectic adventurers, artists, and struggling philosophers moved in quickly as the others left. Due in part to the unique nature of these new inhabitants, including several well-known Teleological Theorists, Social Reformers, and political activists with various unconventional beliefs, along with a bit of public humor, the ancient church’s long-standing name began to be informally transferred to its current residents. Hence, it became common for anyone with offices in the old church to be casually referred to as an Apostle.

But as every effect is but the cause of another and a subsequent one, so it now happened that finding themselves thus clannishly, and not altogether infelicitously entitled, the occupants of the venerable church began to come together out of their various dens, in more social communion; attracted toward each other by a title common to all. By-and-by, from this, they went further; and insensibly, at last became organized in a peculiar society, which, though exceedingly inconspicuous, and hardly perceptible in its public demonstrations, was still secretly suspected to have some mysterious ulterior object, vaguely connected with the absolute overturning of Church and State, and the hasty and premature advance of some unknown great political and religious Millennium. Still, though some zealous conservatives and devotees of morals, several times left warning at the police-office, to keep a wary eye on the old church; and though, indeed, sometimes an officer would look up inquiringly at the suspicious narrow window-slits in the lofty tower; yet, to say the truth, was the place, to all appearance, a very quiet and decorous one, and its occupants a company of harmless people, whose greatest reproach was efflorescent coats and crack-crowned hats all podding in the sun.

But since every effect is just the cause of another, it happened that the people in the old church, feeling a bit like a close-knit group and not entirely unhappy about it, started to come together from their separate hideouts for more social interactions, drawn together by a shared identity. Before long, they took it a step further and gradually formed a unique society. Although it was quite low-key and barely noticeable in public, there were whispers that it had some hidden purpose connected to a complete upheaval of Church and State and the premature arrival of an unknown significant political and religious Millennium. Still, while some enthusiastic conservatives and moral enthusiasts occasionally left alerts at the police station to monitor the old church, and sometimes an officer would curiously glance up at the narrow window slits in the tall tower, the reality was that the place seemed quite peaceful and proper, with its inhabitants being a bunch of harmless folks whose biggest flaw was their bright-colored coats and quirky hats shining in the sun.

Though in the middle of the day many bales and boxes would be trundled along the stores in front of the Apostles’; and along its critically narrow sidewalk, the merchants would now and then hurry to meet their checks ere the banks should close: yet the street, being mostly devoted to mere warehousing purposes, and not used as a general thoroughfare, it was at all times a rather secluded and silent place. But from an hour or two before sundown to ten or eleven o’clock the next morning, it was remarkably silent and depopulated, except by the Apostles themselves; while every Sunday it presented an aspect of surprising and startling quiescence; showing nothing but one long vista of six or seven stories of inexorable iron shutters on both sides of the way. It was pretty much the same with the other street, which, as before said, intersected with the warehousing lane, not very far from the Apostles’. For though that street was indeed a different one from the latter, being full of cheap refectories for clerks, foreign restaurants, and other places of commercial resort; yet the only hum in it was restricted to business hours; by night it was deserted of every occupant but the lamp-posts; and on Sunday, to walk through it, was like walking through an avenue of sphinxes.

Though during the day many bales and boxes were rolled along the stores in front of the Apostles', and the merchants occasionally rushed to meet their checks before the banks closed, the street, primarily used for warehousing rather than as a main thoroughfare, was generally a quiet and secluded place. However, from an hour or two before sunset until ten or eleven o’clock the next morning, it was strikingly silent and empty, except for the Apostles themselves. Every Sunday, it was remarkably still, displaying a long stretch of six or seven stories of solid iron shutters on both sides. The other street, which intersected the warehousing lane not far from the Apostles', was quite different, filled with budget eateries for clerks, foreign restaurants, and various commercial spots. Yet, the only activity there was limited to business hours; at night, it was empty except for the lampposts, and walking through it on a Sunday felt like strolling along an avenue of sphinxes.

Such, then, was the present condition of the ancient Church of the Apostles; buzzing with a few lingering, equivocal lawyers in the basement, and populous with all sorts of poets, painters, paupers and philosophers above. A mysterious professor of the flute was perched in one of the upper stories of the tower; and often, of silent, moonlight nights, his lofty, melodious notes would be warbled forth over the roofs of the ten thousand warehouses around him—as of yore, the bell had pealed over the domestic gables of a long-departed generation.

Such was the current state of the ancient Church of the Apostles; buzzing with a few lingering, uncertain lawyers in the basement and filled with all kinds of poets, painters, beggars, and philosophers above. A mysterious flute professor was perched in one of the upper stories of the tower, and often, on silent, moonlit nights, his high, melodic notes would drift over the rooftops of the ten thousand warehouses surrounding him—just like the bell once rang out over the homes of a long-gone generation.


II.

ON the third night following the arrival of the party in the city, Pierre sat at twilight by a lofty window in the rear building of the Apostles’. The chamber was meager even to meanness. No carpet on the floor, no picture on the wall; nothing but a low, long, and very curious-looking single bedstead, that might possibly serve for an indigent bachelor’s pallet, a large, blue, chintz-covered chest, a rickety, rheumatic, and most ancient mahogany chair, and a wide board of the toughest live-oak, about six feet long, laid upon two upright empty flour-barrels, and loaded with a large bottle of ink, an unfastened bundle of quills, a pen-knife, a folder, and a still unbound ream of foolscap paper, significantly stamped, “Ruled; Blue.”

On the third night after the party arrived in the city, Pierre sat at twilight by a tall window in the back building of the Apostles’. The room was sparse to the point of being bare. No carpet on the floor, no pictures on the walls; just a low, long, and very oddly shaped single bed that could be mistaken for an indigent bachelor’s makeshift bed, a large blue chintz-covered chest, a shaky, creaky, and very old mahogany chair, and a wide board made of tough live-oak, about six feet long, resting on two empty flour barrels. It was piled high with a large bottle of ink, an open bundle of quills, a pen knife, a folder, and an unbound ream of foolscap paper, clearly marked “Ruled; Blue.”

There, on the third night, at twilight, sat Pierre by that lofty window of a beggarly room in the rear-building of the Apostles’. He was entirely idle, apparently; there was nothing in his hands; but there might have been something on his heart. Now and then he fixedly gazes at the curious-looking, rusty old bedstead. It seemed powerfully symbolical to him; and most symbolical it was. For it was the ancient dismemberable and portable camp-bedstead of his grandfather, the defiant defender of the Fort, the valiant captain in many an unsuccumbing campaign. On that very camp-bedstead, there, beneath his tent on the field, the glorious old mild-eyed and warrior-hearted general had slept, and but waked to buckle his knight-making sword by his side; for it was noble knighthood to be slain by grand Pierre; in the other world his foes’ ghosts bragged of the hand that had given them their passports.

There, on the third night, at twilight, Pierre sat by the tall window of a shabby room in the back building of the Apostles’. He seemed completely idle, with nothing in his hands, but perhaps there was something weighing on his heart. Every now and then, he stared intently at the oddly shaped, rusty old bed. It felt deeply symbolic to him, and indeed it was. It was his grandfather’s old, portable camp bed, the brave defender of the Fort, the courageous captain in many relentless battles. On that very camp bed, underneath his tent on the battlefield, the noble, mild-eyed, warrior-hearted general had slept, only to wake up and fasten his knight-making sword to his side; for it was a noble honor to fall at the hands of grand Pierre; in the afterlife, the ghosts of his enemies bragged about the hand that had given them their release.

But has that hard bed of War, descended for an inheritance to the soft body of Peace? In the peaceful time of full barns, and when the noise of the peaceful flail is abroad, and the hum of peaceful commerce resounds, is the grandson of two Generals a warrior too? Oh, not for naught, in the time of this seeming peace, are warrior grandsires given to Pierre! For Pierre is a warrior too; Life his campaign, and three fierce allies, Woe and Scorn and Want, his foes. The wide world is banded against him; for lo you! he holds up the standard of Right, and swears by the Eternal and True! But ah, Pierre, Pierre, when thou goest to that bed, how humbling the thought, that thy most extended length measures not the proud six feet four of thy grand John of Gaunt sire! The stature of the warrior is cut down to the dwindled glory of the fight. For more glorious in real tented field to strike down your valiant foe, than in the conflicts of a noble soul with a dastardly world to chase a vile enemy who ne’er will show front.

But has that harsh reality of War, passed down as a legacy to the gentle nature of Peace? In the peaceful times of full barns, and when the sound of the peaceful flail is heard everywhere, and the buzz of peaceful trade fills the air, is the grandson of two Generals also a warrior? Oh, it’s not for nothing, in this time of seeming peace, that warrior grandfathers are given to Pierre! Because Pierre is a warrior too; Life is his battlefield, and three fierce enemies, Woe, Scorn, and Want, are his foes. The whole world is united against him; for look! he raises the banner of Right, and swears by the Eternal and True! But ah, Pierre, Pierre, when you go to that bed, how humbling it is to think that your full height does not measure up to the proud six feet four of your grand John of Gaunt ancestor! The stature of the warrior is reduced to the diminished glory of the fight. It is far more glorious in an actual battlefield to take down your brave opponent than to struggle in the conflicts of a noble soul against a cowardly world, chasing a vile enemy who will never confront you.

There, then, on the third night, at twilight, by the lofty window of that beggarly room, sat Pierre in the rear building of the Apostles’. He is gazing out from the window now. But except the donjon form of the old gray tower, seemingly there is nothing to see but a wilderness of tiles, slate, shingles, and tin;—the desolate hanging wildernesses of tiles, slate, shingles and tin, wherewith we modern Babylonians replace the fair hanging-gardens of the fine old Asiatic times when the excellent Nebuchadnezzar was king.

There, on the third night, at twilight, by the tall window of that shabby room, sat Pierre in the back building of the Apostles’. He is now looking out the window. But aside from the towering old gray castle, there seems to be nothing to see but a desolate sea of tiles, slate, shingles, and tin—the bleak expanse of tiles, slate, shingles, and tin that we modern city dwellers use to replace the beautiful hanging gardens of the fine old Asian times when the great Nebuchadnezzar was king.

There he sits, a strange exotic, transplanted from the delectable alcoves of the old manorial mansion, to take root in this niggard soil. No more do the sweet purple airs of the hills round about the green fields of Saddle Meadows come revivingly wafted to his cheek. Like a flower he feels the change; his bloom is gone from his cheek; his cheek is wilted and pale.

There he sits, a strange outsider, moved from the charming corners of the old manor house, trying to take root in this barren soil. The sweet, fragrant air of the hills surrounding the green fields of Saddle Meadows no longer refreshes his face. Like a flower, he feels the difference; his color has faded from his cheeks; his cheeks are wilted and pale.

From the lofty window of that beggarly room, what is it that Pierre is so intently eying? There is no street at his feet; like a profound black gulf the open area of the quadrangle gapes beneath him. But across it, and at the further end of the steep roof of the ancient church, there looms the gray and grand old tower; emblem to Pierre of an unshakable fortitude, which, deep-rooted in the heart of the earth, defied all the howls of the air.

From the high window of that shabby room, what is Pierre so focused on? There's no street below him; the open space of the courtyard yawns like a deep black chasm. But across it, at the far end of the steep roof of the old church, the gray and grand tower stands tall; a symbol to Pierre of unwavering strength, which, deeply anchored in the earth, resisted all the winds' fury.

There is a door in Pierre’s room opposite the window of Pierre: and now a soft knock is heard in that direction, accompanied by gentle words, asking whether the speaker might enter.

There’s a door in Pierre’s room across from his window, and now a light knock is heard from that direction, along with soft words asking if the person can come in.

“Yes, always, sweet Isabel”—answered Pierre, rising and approaching the door;—“here: let us drag out the old camp-bed for a sofa; come, sit down now, my sister, and let us fancy ourselves anywhere thou wilt.”

“Yes, always, sweet Isabel,” answered Pierre, getting up and approaching the door. “Here: let’s pull out the old camp-bed to use as a sofa; come, sit down now, my sister, and let’s imagine we’re anywhere you want.”

“Then, my brother, let us fancy ourselves in realms of everlasting twilight and peace, where no bright sun shall rise, because the black night is always its follower. Twilight and peace, my brother, twilight and peace!”

“Then, my brother, let’s imagine ourselves in a land of endless twilight and calm, where no bright sun will rise, because the dark night is always its companion. Twilight and peace, my brother, twilight and peace!”

“It is twilight now, my sister; and surely, this part of the city at least seems still.”

“It’s twilight now, my sister; and surely, this part of the city at least seems calm.”

“Twilight now, but night soon; then a brief sun, and then another long night. Peace now, but sleep and nothingness soon, and then hard work for thee, my brother, till the sweet twilight come again.”

"Twilight now, but night will come soon; then a brief glimpse of the sun, followed by another long night. Peace now, but sleep and emptiness will come soon, and then hard work for you, my brother, until the sweet twilight returns again."

“Let us light a candle, my sister; the evening is deepening.”

"Let's light a candle, my sister; the night is getting darker."

“For what light a candle, dear Pierre?—Sit close to me, my brother.”

“For what purpose does a candle burn, dear Pierre?—Come sit close to me, my brother.”

He moved nearer to her, and stole one arm around her; her sweet head leaned against his breast; each felt the other’s throbbing.

He moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her; her lovely head rested against his chest; they both felt each other’s heartbeat.

“Oh, my dear Pierre, why should we always be longing for peace, and then be impatient of peace when it comes? Tell me, my brother! Not two hours ago, thou wert wishing for twilight, and now thou wantest a candle to hurry the twilight’s last lingering away.”

“Oh, my dear Pierre, why do we always long for peace and then get impatient when it arrives? Tell me, my brother! Just two hours ago, you were wishing for twilight, and now you want a candle to rush twilight’s last moments away.”

But Pierre did not seem to hear her; his arm embraced her tighter; his whole frame was invisibly trembling. Then suddenly in a low tone of wonderful intensity he breathed:

But Pierre didn’t seem to hear her; he held her tighter in his arms, and his entire body was shaking slightly. Then suddenly, in a quiet voice full of intense emotion, he whispered:

“Isabel! Isabel!”

"Isabel! Isabel!"

She caught one arm around him, as his was around herself; the tremor ran from him to her; both sat dumb.

She wrapped one arm around him, just as he had his arm around her; a shiver went through him to her; both sat silently.

He rose, and paced the room.

He got up and walked around the room.

“Well, Pierre; thou camest in here to arrange thy matters, thou saidst. Now what hast thou done? Come, we will light a candle now.”

"Well, Pierre; you came in here to sort things out, you said. Now what have you done? Come on, let's light a candle now."

The candle was lighted, and their talk went on.

The candle was lit, and their conversation continued.

“How about the papers, my brother? Dost thou find every thing right? Hast thou decided upon what to publish first, while thou art writing the new thing thou didst hint of?”

“How are the papers, my brother? Do you find everything okay? Have you decided what to publish first while you’re working on that new thing you mentioned?”

“Look at that chest, my sister. Seest thou not that the cords are yet untied?”

“Look at that chest, my sister. Don’t you see that the cords are still untied?”

“Then thou hast not been into it at all as yet?”

“Then you haven’t been into it at all yet?”

“Not at all, Isabel. In ten days I have lived ten thousand years. Forewarned now of the rubbish in that chest, I can not summon the heart to open it. Trash! Dross! Dirt!”

“Not at all, Isabel. In ten days, I’ve lived ten thousand years. Now that I know about the junk in that chest, I can’t bring myself to open it. Trash! Junk! Dirt!”

“Pierre! Pierre! what change is this? Didst thou not tell me, ere we came hither, that thy chest not only contained some silver and gold, but likewise far more precious things, readily convertible into silver and gold? Ah, Pierre, thou didst swear we had naught to fear!”

“Pierre! Pierre! What happened? Didn’t you tell me before we got here that your chest not only had some silver and gold, but also much more valuable things that could easily be turned into silver and gold? Oh, Pierre, you promised we had nothing to worry about!”

“If I have ever willfully deceived thee, Isabel, may the high gods prove Benedict Arnolds to me, and go over to the devils to reinforce them against me! But to have ignorantly deceived myself and thee together, Isabel; that is a very different thing. Oh, what a vile juggler and cheat is man! Isabel, in that chest are things which in the hour of composition, I thought the very heavens looked in from the windows in astonishment at their beauty and power. Then, afterward, when days cooled me down, and again I took them up and scanned them, some underlying suspicions intruded; but when in the open air, I recalled the fresh, unwritten images of the bunglingly written things; then I felt buoyant and triumphant again; as if by that act of ideal recalling, I had, forsooth, transferred the perfect ideal to the miserable written attempt at embodying it. This mood remained. So that afterward how I talked to thee about the wonderful things I had done; the gold and the silver mine I had long before sprung for thee and for me, who never were to come to want in body or mind. Yet all this time, there was the latent suspicion of folly; but I would not admit it; I shut my soul’s door in its face. Yet now, the ten thousand universal revealings brand me on the forehead with fool! and like protested notes at the Bankers, all those written things of mine, are jaggingly cut through and through with the protesting hammer of Truth!—Oh, I am sick, sick, sick!”

“If I’ve ever knowingly deceived you, Isabel, may the gods treat me like a traitor and join the devils against me! But to have accidentally deceived both myself and you, Isabel, is a completely different matter. Oh, what a terrible trickster and liar mankind is! Isabel, in that chest are things that, at the moment of creation, I thought even the heavens looked down in amazement at their beauty and power. Then, later on, as I cooled down over the days and picked them up again to examine them, some underlying doubts crept in; but when I was outside, I recalled the fresh, unwritten images from those clumsily written things; then I felt light and victorious again, as if by recalling that ideal, I had, indeed, transferred the perfect ideal to my poor attempt at capturing it in writing. This feeling lasted. So afterward, how I talked to you about the amazing things I had created; the gold and silver mine I had set up long before, so that we would never want for anything in body or mind. Yet all this time, there was a hidden suspicion of my foolishness; but I would not admit it; I shut the door of my soul in its face. But now, the countless universal truths brand me on the forehead as a fool! And just like protested notes at the bank, all those written things of mine are jaggedly cut through and through with the hammer of Truth!—Oh, I am sick, sick, sick!”

“Let the arms that never were filled but by thee, lure thee back again, Pierre, to the peace of the twilight, even though it be of the dimmest!”

“Let the arms that were never filled by anyone but you, draw you back again, Pierre, to the calm of the evening, even if it’s the faintest!”

She blew out the light, and made Pierre sit down by her; and their hands were placed in each other’s.

She turned off the light and had Pierre sit down next to her, and their hands were placed together.

“Say, are not thy torments now gone, my brother?”

“Hey, are your troubles finally over, brother?”

“But replaced by—by—by—Oh God, Isabel, unhand me!” cried Pierre, starting up. “Ye heavens, that have hidden yourselves in the black hood of the night, I call to ye! If to follow Virtue to her uttermost vista, where common souls never go; if by that I take hold on hell, and the uttermost virtue, after all, prove but a betraying pander to the monstrousest vice,—then close in and crush me, ye stony walls, and into one gulf let all things tumble together!”

"But replaced by—by—by—Oh God, Isabel, let me go!" cried Pierre, jumping up. "You heavens, that have hidden yourselves in the dark cloak of the night, I call to you! If chasing after Virtue takes me to her farthest edge, where ordinary souls never venture; if by that I end up grasping hell, and the highest virtue turns out to be just a traitorous accomplice to the worst vice,—then close in and crush me, you stony walls, and let all things fall into one abyss together!"

“My brother! this is some incomprehensible raving,” pealed Isabel, throwing both arms around him;—“my brother, my brother!”

“My brother! This is just crazy talk,” Isabel exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. “My brother, my brother!”

“Hark thee to thy furthest inland soul”—thrilled Pierre in a steeled and quivering voice. “Call me brother no more! How knowest thou I am thy brother? Did thy mother tell thee? Did my father say so to me?—I am Pierre, and thou Isabel, wide brother and sister in the common humanity,—no more. For the rest, let the gods look after their own combustibles. If they have put powder-casks in me—let them look to it! let them look to it! Ah! now I catch glimpses, and seem to half-see, somehow, that the uttermost ideal of moral perfection in man is wide of the mark. The demigods trample on trash, and Virtue and Vice are trash! Isabel, I will write such things—I will gospelize the world anew, and show them deeper secrets than the Apocalypse!—I will write it, I will write it!”

“Hear me, you distant soul”—Pierre said with a tense and shaking voice. “Don’t call me brother anymore! How do you know I’m your brother? Did your mother tell you? Did my father say it to me?—I am Pierre, and you are Isabel, just two people connected by our shared humanity—nothing more. As for the rest, let the gods take care of their own problems. If they’ve put explosives in me—let them handle it! Let them handle it! Ah! Now I’m starting to see, in some way, that the ultimate ideal of moral perfection in humans is way off. The demigods tread on garbage, and Virtue and Vice are just garbage! Isabel, I’m going to write things like never before—I’ll renew the world and reveal to them deeper truths than the Apocalypse!—I will write it, I will write it!”

“Pierre, I am a poor girl, born in the midst of a mystery, bred in mystery, and still surviving to mystery. So mysterious myself, the air and the earth are unutterable to me; no word have I to express them. But these are the circumambient mysteries; thy words, thy thoughts, open other wonder-worlds to me, whither by myself I might fear to go. But trust to me, Pierre. With thee, with thee, I would boldly swim a starless sea, and be buoy to thee, there, when thou the strong swimmer shouldst faint. Thou, Pierre, speakest of Virtue and Vice; life-secluded Isabel knows neither the one nor the other, but by hearsay. What are they, in their real selves, Pierre? Tell me first what is Virtue:—begin!”

“Pierre, I’m a poor girl, born into mystery, raised in mystery, and still living in mystery. I’m so mysterious myself that I can’t put the air and the earth into words; I don’t have the vocabulary to express them. But these are the surrounding mysteries; your words and thoughts open up other incredible worlds for me, ones I might be too afraid to explore alone. But trust me, Pierre. With you, I would boldly swim through a starless sea and be your support when you, the strong swimmer, start to falter. You, Pierre, talk about Virtue and Vice; Isabel, living in isolation, knows nothing of either except what she’s heard. What are they really, Pierre? First, tell me what Virtue is:—start!”

“If on that point the gods are dumb, shall a pigmy speak? Ask the air!”

“If the gods are silent on that matter, should a tiny person speak? Just ask the air!”

“Then Virtue is nothing.”

“Then Virtue is meaningless.”

“Not that!”

“Not that one!”

“Then Vice?”

"Then Vice President?"

“Look: a nothing is the substance, it casts one shadow one way, and another the other way; and these two shadows cast from one nothing; these, seems to me, are Virtue and Vice.”

“Look: nothing is the substance; it casts one shadow in one direction and another shadow in the opposite direction; and these two shadows come from one nothing; to me, these represent Virtue and Vice.”

“Then why torment thyself so, dearest Pierre?”

“Then why torture yourself like this, dear Pierre?”

“It is the law.”

“It’s the law.”

“What?”

"Excuse me?"

“That a nothing should torment a nothing; for I am a nothing. It is all a dream—we dream that we dreamed we dream.”

"That something insignificant should trouble something else insignificant; because I am insignificant. It's all just a dream—we dream that we dreamed we dream."

“Pierre, when thou just hovered on the verge, thou wert a riddle to me; but now, that thou art deep down in the gulf of the soul,—now, when thou wouldst be lunatic to wise men, perhaps—now doth poor ignorant Isabel begin to comprehend thee. Thy feeling hath long been mine, Pierre. Long loneliness and anguish have opened miracles to me. Yes, it is all a dream!”

“Pierre, when you were just on the edge, you were a mystery to me; but now, that you are deep in the depths of the soul,—now, when you might seem crazy to wise men, perhaps—now poor ignorant Isabel is starting to understand you. Your feelings have long been mine, Pierre. Long loneliness and anguish have revealed miracles to me. Yes, it’s all a dream!”

Swiftly he caught her in his arms:—“From nothing proceeds nothing, Isabel! How can one sin in a dream?”

Swiftly, he wrapped her in his arms: “Nothing comes from nothing, Isabel! How can anyone sin in a dream?”

“First what is sin, Pierre?”

"What's sin, Pierre?"

“Another name for the other name, Isabel.”

“Another name for the other name, Isabel.”

“For Virtue, Pierre?”

"For morality, Pierre?"

“No, for Vice.”

“No, for Vice.”

“Let us sit down again, my brother.”

“Let’s sit down again, my brother.”

“I am Pierre.”

"I'm Pierre."

“Let us sit down again, Pierre; sit close; thy arm!”

“Let’s sit down again, Pierre; sit close; your arm!”

And so, on the third night, when the twilight was gone, and no lamp was lit, within the lofty window of that beggarly room, sat Pierre and Isabel hushed.

And so, on the third night, when the twilight was over and no lamp was lit, Pierre and Isabel sat quietly within the tall window of that shabby room.

BOOK XX.
CHARLIE MILLTHORPE.

I.

PIERRE had been induced to take chambers at the Apostles’, by one of the Apostles themselves, an old acquaintance of his, and a native of Saddle Meadows.

PIERRE had been encouraged to take an apartment at the Apostles’ by one of the Apostles himself, an old friend of his, and someone from Saddle Meadows.

Millthorpe was the son of a very respectable farmer—now dead—of more than common intelligence, and whose bowed shoulders and homely garb had still been surmounted by a head fit for a Greek philosopher, and features so fine and regular that they would have well graced an opulent gentleman. The political and social levelings and confoundings of all manner of human elements in America, produce many striking individual anomalies unknown in other lands. Pierre well remembered old farmer Millthorpe:—the handsome, melancholy, calm-tempered, mute, old man; in whose countenance—refinedly ennobled by nature, and yet coarsely tanned and attenuated by many a prolonged day’s work in the harvest—rusticity and classicalness were strangely united. The delicate profile of his face, bespoke the loftiest aristocracy; his knobbed and bony hands resembled a beggar’s.

Millthorpe was the son of a very respectable farmer—now deceased—who was exceptionally intelligent. Despite his hunched shoulders and simple clothing, he had a head that would have suited a Greek philosopher, and features that were so fine and regular they could have belonged to a wealthy gentleman. The political and social blending of diverse human experiences in America creates many striking individual anomalies not seen in other countries. Pierre vividly remembered the old farmer Millthorpe: the handsome, melancholy, calm, silent old man; whose face—refined and noble by nature, yet weathered and worn from long days spent in the fields—strangely combined rusticity and elegance. The delicate profile of his face suggested the highest aristocracy, while his knotted and bony hands looked like those of a beggar.

Though for several generations the Millthorpes had lived on the Glendinning lands, they loosely and unostentatiously traced their origin to an emigrating English Knight, who had crossed the sea in the time of the elder Charles. But that indigence which had prompted the knight to forsake his courtly country for the howling wilderness, was the only remaining hereditament left to his bedwindled descendants in the fourth and fifth remove. At the time that Pierre first recollected this interesting man, he had, a year or two previous, abandoned an ample farm on account of absolute inability to meet the manorial rent, and was become the occupant of a very poor and contracted little place, on which was a small and half-ruinous house. There, he then harbored with his wife,—a very gentle and retiring person,—his three little daughters, and his only son, a lad of Pierre’s own age. The hereditary beauty and youthful bloom of this boy; his sweetness of temper, and something of natural refinement as contrasted with the unrelieved rudeness, and oftentimes sordidness, of his neighbors; these things had early attracted the sympathetic, spontaneous friendliness of Pierre. They were often wont to take their boyish rambles together; and even the severely critical Mrs. Glendinning, always fastidiously cautious as to the companions of Pierre, had never objected to his intimacy with so prepossessing and handsome a rustic as Charles.

Though the Millthorpes had lived on the Glendinning lands for several generations, they modestly traced their roots back to an English knight who had emigrated during the time of the elder Charles. But the poverty that had driven the knight to leave his noble homeland for the wilds was the only inheritance left to his diminished descendants after four or five generations. When Pierre first remembered this interesting man, he had just a year or two earlier left behind a sizable farm because he couldn't afford the rent anymore, and was now living in a very small and rundown place with a tiny, half-collapsed house. There, he lived with his wife—a very gentle and reserved woman—his three little daughters, and his only son, a boy the same age as Pierre. The boy's natural charm and youthful beauty, his sweet disposition, and a touch of refinement that stood out against the roughness and sometimes harshness of their neighbors had quickly drawn Pierre’s sympathetic friendship. They often went on boyish adventures together, and even the very critical Mrs. Glendinning, who was always particular about Pierre's friends, had never objected to his close friendship with such an appealing and handsome young man as Charles.

Boys are often very swiftly acute in forming a judgment on character. The lads had not long companioned, ere Pierre concluded, that however fine his face, and sweet his temper, young Millthorpe was but little vigorous in mind; besides possessing a certain constitutional, sophomorean presumption and egotism; which, however, having nothing to feed on but his father’s meal and potatoes, and his own essentially timid and humane disposition, merely presented an amusing and harmless, though incurable, anomalous feature in his character, not at all impairing the good-will and companionableness of Pierre; for even in his boyhood, Pierre possessed a sterling charity, which could cheerfully overlook all minor blemishes in his inferiors, whether in fortune or mind; content and glad to embrace the good whenever presented, or with whatever conjoined. So, in youth, do we unconsciously act upon those peculiar principles, which in conscious and verbalized maxims shall systematically regulate our maturer lives;—a fact, which forcibly illustrates the necessitarian dependence of our lives, and their subordination, not to ourselves, but to Fate.

Boys are often very quick to judge a person's character. The boys hadn't been friends for long when Pierre decided that, despite Millthorpe's good looks and pleasant nature, he wasn’t very sharp mentally. Millthorpe had a kind of self-important arrogance typical of a college sophomore. However, since all he really had to rely on were his father's cooking and his own timid and kind nature, this arrogance was just an amusing and harmless quirk of his personality and didn't affect Pierre's fondness for him. Even as a child, Pierre had a genuine kindness that allowed him to overlook small flaws in those who were less fortunate or less intelligent, happy to recognize the good in anyone, no matter what it was combined with. In our youth, we unknowingly act on the unique principles that will later shape the conscious beliefs that govern our adult lives—a reality that clearly shows how our lives depend on fate rather than ourselves.

If the grown man of taste, possess not only some eye to detect the picturesque in the natural landscape, so also, has he as keen a perception of what may not unfitly be here styled, the povertiresque in the social landscape. To such an one, not more picturesquely conspicuous is the dismantled thatch in a painted cottage of Gainsborough, than the time-tangled and want-thinned locks of a beggar, povertiresquely diversifying those snug little cabinet-pictures of the world, which, exquisitely varnished and framed, are hung up in the drawing-room minds of humane men of taste, and amiable philosophers of either the “Compensation,” or “Optimist” school. They deny that any misery is in the world, except for the purpose of throwing the fine povertiresque element into its general picture. Go to! God hath deposited cash in the Bank subject to our gentlemanly order; he hath bounteously blessed the world with a summer carpet of green. Begone, Heraclitus! The lamentations of the rain are but to make us our rainbows!

If a cultured man not only has an eye for recognizing beauty in nature but also has a sharp awareness of what could be called the povertiresque in society, then he truly appreciates both. For him, the disheveled thatch on a charming cottage in a Gainsborough painting is just as striking as the tangled and scruffy hair of a beggar, povertiresquely adding diversity to those cozy little scenes of the world. These scenes, beautifully framed and polished, are displayed in the minds of refined individuals and kind philosophers, whether they belong to the "Compensation" or "Optimist" schools of thought. They argue that there is no misery in the world, except to highlight the beautiful povertiresque element in the overall picture. Come on! God has set aside resources for us; He has generously adorned the world with a lush green carpet for summer. Go away, Heraclitus! The mournful sounds of the rain are just here to help us create our rainbows!

Not that in equivocal reference to the povertiresque old farmer Millthorpe, Pierre is here intended to be hinted at. Still, man can not wholly escape his surroundings. Unconsciously Mrs. Glendinning had always been one of these curious Optimists; and in his boyish life Pierre had not wholly escaped the maternal contagion. Yet often, in calling at the old farmer’s for Charles of some early winter mornings, and meeting the painfully embarrassed, thin, feeble features of Mrs. Millthorpe, and the sadly inquisitive and hopelessly half-envious glances of the three little girls; and standing on the threshold, Pierre would catch low, aged, life-weary groans from a recess out of sight from the door; then would Pierre have some boyish inklings of something else than the pure povertiresque in poverty: some inklings of what it might be, to be old, and poor, and worn, and rheumatic, with shivering death drawing nigh, and present life itself but a dull and a chill! some inklings of what it might be, for him who in youth had vivaciously leaped from his bed, impatient to meet the earliest sun, and lose no sweet drop of his life, now hating the beams he once so dearly loved; turning round in his bed to the wall to avoid them; and still postponing the foot which should bring him back to the dismal day; when the sun is not gold, but copper; and the sky is not blue, but gray; and the blood, like Rhenish wine, too long unquaffed by Death, grows thin and sour in the veins.

Not that the old farmer Millthorpe is meant to be directly compared to Pierre here. Still, a person can't completely escape their environment. Unconsciously, Mrs. Glendinning had always been one of those curious optimists, and during his childhood, Pierre hadn't fully avoided the influence of his mother. Yet often, when visiting the old farmer’s place for Charles on some early winter mornings, and seeing the painfully awkward, thin, frail face of Mrs. Millthorpe, along with the sadly curious and hopelessly envious looks from the three little girls; standing at the door, Pierre would hear low, weary groans coming from a hidden corner away from view. In those moments, Pierre would sometimes catch hints of something beyond the simple hardships of poverty: a glimpse of what it might be like to be old, poor, worn down, and dealing with painful ailments, with the specter of death looming closer, and life feeling dull and cold. He got a sense of what it could be like for someone who, in his youth, eagerly jumped out of bed to greet the morning sun and savor every moment of life, now despising the sunlight he once cherished; turning to the wall in bed to escape it, and continually delaying the moment he would face the dreary day; when the sun isn't golden but coppery; and the sky isn't blue but gray; and the blood, like Rhenish wine, too long untouched by Death, becomes thin and sour in the veins.

Pierre had not forgotten that the augmented penury of the Millthorpe’s was, at the time we now retrospectively treat of, gravely imputed by the gossiping frequenters of the Black Swan Inn, to certain insinuated moral derelictions of the farmer. “The old man tipped his elbow too often,” once said in Pierre’s hearing an old bottle-necked fellow, performing the identical same act with a half-emptied glass in his hand. But though the form of old Millthorpe was broken, his countenance, however sad and thin, betrayed no slightest sign of the sot, either past or present. He never was publicly known to frequent the inn, and seldom quitted the few acres he cultivated with his son. And though, alas, indigent enough, yet was he most punctually honest in paying his little debts of shillings and pence for his groceries. And though, heaven knows, he had plenty of occasion for all the money he could possibly earn, yet Pierre remembered, that when, one autumn, a hog was bought of him for the servants’ hall at the Mansion, the old man never called for his money till the midwinter following; and then, as with trembling fingers he eagerly clutched the silver, he unsteadily said, “I have no use for it now; it might just as well have stood over.” It was then, that chancing to overhear this, Mrs. Glendinning had looked at the old man, with a kindly and benignantly interested eye to the povertiresque; and murmured, “Ah! the old English Knight is not yet out of his blood. Bravo, old man!”

Pierre had not forgotten that the increased poverty of the Millthorpes was, at the time we’re now looking back on, seriously blamed by the gossiping regulars at the Black Swan Inn on some alleged moral failings of the farmer. “The old man drinks too much,” an old guy with a bottle-shaped figure once said in Pierre’s hearing, doing the same with a half-empty glass in his hand. But even though old Millthorpe's body was frail, his face, sad and thin as it was, showed no signs of being a drunk, either in the past or present. He was never known to hang out at the inn and rarely left the few acres he farmed with his son. And even though he was very poor, he was always honest about paying his small debts for groceries. Even though he had plenty of reasons to need every penny he could earn, Pierre remembered that when, one autumn, a pig was bought from him for the servants’ hall at the Mansion, the old man didn’t ask for his money until the following midwinter. Then, as he nervously grasped the silver with shaky hands, he said unsteadily, “I don’t need it now; it might as well have stayed over.” It was then that Mrs. Glendinning happened to overhear this and looked at the old man with a kindly, interested gaze at the povertiresque and murmured, “Ah! The old English knight is still in his blood. Bravo, old man!”

One day, in Pierre’s sight, nine silent figures emerged from the door of old Millthorpe; a coffin was put into a neighbor’s farm-wagon; and a procession, some thirty feet long, including the elongated pole and box of the wagon, wound along Saddle Meadows to a hill, where, at last, old Millthorpe was laid down in a bed, where the rising sun should affront him no more. Oh, softest and daintiest of Holland linen is the motherly earth! There, beneath the sublime tester of the infinite sky, like emperors and kings, sleep, in grand state, the beggars and paupers of earth! I joy that Death is this Democrat; and hopeless of all other real and permanent democracies, still hug the thought, that though in life some heads are crowned with gold, and some bound round with thorns, yet chisel them how they will, head-stones are all alike.

One day, in Pierre's view, nine quiet figures came out of the old Millthorpe door; a coffin was loaded into a neighbor's farm wagon; and a procession, about thirty feet long, including the long pole and box of the wagon, made its way along Saddle Meadows to a hill, where, at last, old Millthorpe was laid to rest in a bed where the rising sun would no longer disturb him. Oh, softest and finest of Holland linen is the earth that cradles us! There, beneath the vast canopy of the infinite sky, like emperors and kings, the beggars and the poor of the earth sleep in grand repose! I take comfort in the thought that Death is the great equalizer; and while I lose hope for other true and lasting democracies, I still cherish the idea that even though some heads are crowned with gold in life, and others wrapped in thorns, when it comes to headstones, they are all the same.

This somewhat particular account of the father of young Millthorpe, will better set forth the less immature condition and character of the son, on whom had now descended the maintenance of his mother and sisters. But, though the son of a farmer, Charles was peculiarly averse to hard labor. It was not impossible that by resolute hard labor he might eventually have succeeded in placing his family in a far more comfortable situation than he had ever remembered them. But it was not so fated; the benevolent State had in its great wisdom decreed otherwise.

This specific account of young Millthorpe's father will better illustrate the more developed character of the son, who was now responsible for supporting his mother and sisters. However, even though he was the son of a farmer, Charles was distinctly against hard work. It wasn't out of the question that with determined effort he could have improved his family's situation to one far more comfortable than he had ever known. But that was not meant to be; the kind State had, in its great wisdom, decided otherwise.

In the village of Saddle Meadows there was an institution, half common-school and half academy, but mainly supported by a general ordinance and financial provision of the government Here, not only were the rudiments of an English education taught, but likewise some touch of belles lettres, and composition, and that great American bulwark and bore—elocution. On the high-raised, stage platform of the Saddle Meadows Academy, the sons of the most indigent day-laborers were wont to drawl out the fiery revolutionary rhetoric of Patrick Henry, or gesticulate impetuously through the soft cadences of Drake’s “Culprit Fay.” What wonder, then, that of Saturdays, when there was no elocution and poesy, these boys should grow melancholy and disdainful over the heavy, plodding handles of dung-forks and hoes?

In the village of Saddle Meadows, there was a place that was part regular school and part academy, mainly funded by a general law and government support. Here, students learned not just the basics of English education, but also a bit of literature, writing, and, of course, the tedious subject of speaking in public. On the elevated stage of the Saddle Meadows Academy, the sons of the poorest laborers would recite the passionate revolutionary speeches of Patrick Henry or enthusiastically perform the gentle verses of Drake’s “Culprit Fay.” So, it's no surprise that on Saturdays, when there were no speech or poetry lessons, these boys ended up feeling gloomy and frustrated while dealing with the tiresome work of dung-forks and hoes.

At the age of fifteen, the ambition of Charles Millthorpe was to be either an orator, or a poet; at any rate, a great genius of one sort or other. He recalled the ancestral Knight, and indignantly spurned the plow. Detecting in him the first germ of this inclination, old Millthorpe had very seriously reasoned with his son; warning him against the evils of his vagrant ambition. Ambition of that sort was either for undoubted genius, rich boys, or poor boys, standing entirely alone in the world, with no one relying upon them. Charles had better consider the case; his father was old and infirm; he could not last very long; he had nothing to leave behind him but his plow and his hoe; his mother was sickly; his sisters pale and delicate; and finally, life was a fact, and the winters in that part of the country exceedingly bitter and long. Seven months out of the twelve the pastures bore nothing, and all cattle must be fed in the barns. But Charles was a boy; advice often seems the most wantonly wasted of all human breath; man will not take wisdom on trust; may be, it is well; for such wisdom is worthless; we must find the true gem for ourselves; and so we go groping and groping for many and many a day.

At fifteen, Charles Millthorpe dreamed of being either an orator or a poet; in any case, he wanted to be a great genius of some kind. He thought about his ancestor, the Knight, and angrily dismissed the idea of farming. Seeing this growing ambition in him, old Millthorpe had talked seriously to his son, warning him about the dangers of his wandering dreams. That kind of ambition was only meant for sure geniuses, rich kids, or poor kids who were completely on their own, with no one depending on them. Charles needed to think it over; his father was old and sick; he wouldn’t be around for much longer; he had nothing to leave behind but his plow and hoe; his mother was frail; his sisters were pale and delicate; and ultimately, life was real, and the winters in that area were extremely harsh and long. For seven months out of the year, the fields produced nothing, and all the livestock had to be kept in the barns for feed. But Charles was just a kid; advice often seems like the biggest waste of breath; people don't just accept wisdom blindly; perhaps that’s for the best, because that kind of wisdom can be useless; we have to discover the real treasures for ourselves; and so we keep searching and searching for many days.

Yet was Charles Millthorpe as affectionate and dutiful a boy as ever boasted of his brain, and knew not that he possessed a far more excellent and angelical thing in the possession of a generous heart. His father died; to his family he resolved to be a second father, and a careful provider now. But not by hard toil of his hand; but by gentler practices of his mind. Already he had read many books—history, poetry, romance, essays, and all. The manorial book-shelves had often been honored by his visits, and Pierre had kindly been his librarian. Not to lengthen the tale, at the age of seventeen, Charles sold the horse, the cow, the pig, the plow, the hoe, and almost every movable thing on the premises; and, converting all into cash, departed with his mother and sisters for the city; chiefly basing his expectations of success on some vague representations of an apothecary relative there resident. How he and his mother and sisters battled it out; how they pined and half-starved for a while; how they took in sewing; and Charles took in copying; and all but scantily sufficed for a livelihood; all this may be easily imagined. But some mysterious latent good-will of Fate toward him, had not only thus far kept Charles from the Poor-House, but had really advanced his fortunes in a degree. At any rate, that certain harmless presumption and innocent egotism which have been previously adverted to as sharing in his general character, these had by no means retarded him; for it is often to be observed of the shallower men, that they are the very last to despond. It is the glory of the bladder that nothing can sink it; it is the reproach of a box of treasure, that once overboard it must down.

Charles Millthorpe was as loving and devoted a boy as anyone could hope for, unaware that he had an even more amazing quality—a generous heart. After his father passed away, he made it his mission to be a second father to his family and provide for them. But not through the hard labor of his hands; instead, he relied on the gentler skills of his mind. He had already read a ton of books—history, poetry, romance, essays, you name it. The manor's book shelves had often welcomed his visits, and Pierre had kindly been his librarian. To keep the story brief, at seventeen, Charles sold the horse, the cow, the pig, the plow, the hoe, and nearly everything else they owned; he turned it all into cash and left with his mother and sisters for the city, mostly hoping for success based on vague promises from a relative who was an apothecary there. They struggled together; they suffered and sometimes went without food; they did sewing, and Charles did copying, just barely making ends meet. All of this is easy to imagine. However, some mysterious favor from Fate had not only kept Charles from ending up in a poorhouse but had actually improved his situation to some extent. In any case, that harmless self-confidence and innocent pride that were part of his character did not hold him back; it’s often seen in less deep people that they are the last to lose hope. Just as a bladder cannot sink, a treasure chest must go down when it’s thrown overboard.


II.

WHEN arrived in the city, and discovering the heartless neglect of Glen, Pierre,—looking about him for whom to apply to in this strait,—bethought him of his old boy-companion Charlie, and went out to seek him, and found him at last; he saw before him, a tall, well-grown, but rather thin and pale yet strikingly handsome young man of two-and-twenty; occupying a small dusty law-office on the third floor of the older building of the Apostles; assuming to be doing a very large, and hourly increasing business among empty pigeon-holes, and directly under the eye of an unopened bottle of ink; his mother and sisters dwelling in a chamber overhead; and himself, not only following the law for a corporeal living, but likewise inter-linked with the peculiar secret, theologico-politico-social schemes of the masonic order of the seedy-coated Apostles; and pursuing some crude, transcendental Philosophy, for both a contributory means of support, as well as for his complete intellectual aliment.

When he arrived in the city and saw the heartless neglect of Glen, Pierre, looking around for someone to turn to in this situation, remembered his old childhood friend Charlie. He went out to find him and eventually did. He saw before him a tall, well-built, but rather thin and pale yet strikingly handsome young man of twenty-two, occupying a small dusty law office on the third floor of the older building of the Apostles. He seemed to be doing a lot of business—growing by the hour—among empty pigeonholes, right under the gaze of an unopened bottle of ink; his mother and sisters lived in a room above him. Not only was he trying to make a living as a lawyer, but he was also involved in the unique secret, theological-political-social schemes of the masonic order of the shabby-coated Apostles, while exploring some rough, transcendental philosophy, both as a way to support himself and to stimulate his intellect.

Pierre was at first somewhat startled by his exceedingly frank and familiar manner; all old manorial deference for Pierre was clean gone and departed; though at the first shock of their encounter, Charlie could not possibly have known that Pierre was cast off.

Pierre was initially a bit taken aback by his very direct and familiar approach; all sense of the old manorial respect for Pierre was completely gone; although, at the first moment of their meeting, Charlie could never have known that Pierre had been rejected.

“Ha, Pierre! glad to see you, my boy! Hark ye, next month I am to deliver an address before the Omega order of the Apostles. The Grand Master, Plinlimmon, will be there. I have heard on the best authority that he once said of me—‘That youth has the Primitive Categories in him; he is destined to astonish the world.’ Why, lad, I have received propositions from the Editors of the Spinozaist to contribute a weekly column to their paper, and you know how very few can understand the Spinozaist; nothing is admitted there but the Ultimate Transcendentals. Hark now, in your ear; I think of throwing off the Apostolic disguise and coming boldly out; Pierre! I think of stumping the State, and preaching our philosophy to the masses.—When did you arrive in town?”

“Hey, Pierre! Great to see you, my friend! Listen up, next month I’m supposed to give a talk to the Omega order of the Apostles. The Grand Master, Plinlimmon, will be there. I’ve heard from reliable sources that he once said about me—‘That young man has the Primitive Categories in him; he’s destined to amaze the world.’ You know, I’ve received offers from the Editors of the Spinozaist to write a weekly column for their paper, and you know how few people can really get the Spinozaist; they only publish the Ultimate Transcendentals. Now, listen closely; I’m thinking about dropping the Apostolic disguise and coming out openly; Pierre! I’m considering rallying the State and preaching our philosophy to the masses. When did you get into town?”

Spite of all his tribulations, Pierre could not restrain a smile at this highly diverting reception; but well knowing the youth, he did not conclude from this audacious burst of enthusiastic egotism that his heart had at all corroded; for egotism is one thing, and selfishness another. No sooner did Pierre intimate his condition to him, than immediately, Charlie was all earnest and practical kindness; recommended the Apostles as the best possible lodgment for him,—cheap, snug, and convenient to most public places; he offered to procure a cart and see himself to the transport of Pierre’s luggage; but finally thought it best to mount the stairs and show him the vacant rooms. But when these at last were decided upon; and Charlie, all cheerfulness and alacrity, started with Pierre for the hotel, to assist him in the removal; grasping his arm the moment they emerged from the great arched door under the tower of the Apostles; he instantly launched into his amusing heroics, and continued the strain till the trunks were fairly in sight.

Despite all his struggles, Pierre couldn't help but smile at this entertaining reception; but knowing the young man well, he didn’t assume from this bold display of enthusiastic egotism that his heart had somehow hardened; because egotism and selfishness are different things. No sooner did Pierre hint at his situation than Charlie immediately turned all earnest and practical, suggesting the Apostles as the best possible place for him—cheap, cozy, and close to most public spots. He offered to get a cart and personally handle the transport of Pierre's luggage, but eventually decided it would be best to go up the stairs and show him the available rooms. Once they had settled on the rooms, and Charlie, full of cheer and energy, started with Pierre toward the hotel to help him move, he grabbed Pierre's arm the moment they stepped out of the large arched door under the Apostles tower and launched into his entertaining heroics, maintaining that tone until they could finally see the trunks.

“Lord! my law-business overwhelms me! I must drive away some of my clients; I must have my exercise, and this ever-growing business denies it to me. Besides, I owe something to the sublime cause of the general humanity; I must displace some of my briefs for my metaphysical treatises. I can not waste all my oil over bonds and mortgages.—You said you were married, I think?”

“Wow! My legal work is stressing me out! I need to let go of some of my clients; I need to get some exercise, and this never-ending workload is getting in the way. Plus, I owe it to the greater good of humanity; I need to set aside some of my cases for my philosophical writings. I can’t spend all my energy on contracts and loans.—You mentioned you were married, I believe?”

But without stopping for any reply, he rattled on. “Well, I suppose it is wise after all. It settles, centralizes, and confirms a man, I have heard.—No, I didn’t; it is a random thought of my own, that!—Yes, it makes the world definite to him; it removes his morbid subjectiveness, and makes all things objective; nine small children, for instance, may be considered objective. Marriage, hey!—A fine thing, no doubt, no doubt:—domestic—pretty—nice, all round. But I owe something to the world, my boy! By marriage, I might contribute to the population of men, but not to the census of mind. The great men are all bachelors, you know. Their family is the universe: I should say the planet Saturn was their elder son; and Plato their uncle.—So you are married?”

But without waiting for a response, he continued talking. “Well, I guess it’s wise after all. It settles a person, centralizes their thoughts, and confirms who they are, or so I’ve heard.—No, wait; I didn't hear that; it's just a random thought of my own!—Yes, it makes the world more definite for him; it takes away his morbid subjectiveness and turns everything into something objective; like how nine small children can be seen as objective. Marriage, huh?—A great thing, no doubt about it: domestic—nice—pleasant, all around. But I owe something to the world, my friend! Through marriage, I might help increase the population of men, but I wouldn’t contribute to the census of intellect. The great minds are all bachelors, you know. Their family is the universe: I’d say the planet Saturn is their eldest son, and Plato is their uncle.—So, you’re married?”

But again, reckless of answers, Charlie went on. “Pierre, a thought, my boy;—a thought for you! You do not say it, but you hint of a low purse. Now I shall help you to fill it—Stump the State on the Kantian Philosophy! A dollar a head, my boy! Pass round your beaver, and you’ll get it. I have every confidence in the penetration and magnanimousness of the people! Pierre, hark in your ear;—it’s my opinion the world is all wrong. Hist, I say—an entire mistake. Society demands an Avatar,—a Curtius, my boy! to leap into the fiery gulf, and by perishing himself, save the whole empire of men! Pierre, I have long renounced the allurements of life and fashion. Look at my coat, and see how I spurn them! Pierre! but, stop, have you ever a shilling! let’s take a cold cut here—it’s a cheap place; I go here sometimes. Come, let’s in.”

But once again, disregarding any answers, Charlie continued. “Pierre, I have an idea for you! You don’t say it, but you seem to be short on cash. Now I’m going to help you fill your wallet—Challenge the State on Kant's Philosophy! A dollar per person, my friend! Pass around your hat, and you’ll get it. I trust in the insight and generosity of the people! Pierre, listen closely; I believe the world is completely misguided. Seriously, it’s all one big mistake. Society needs a hero—a Curtius, my friend! To jump into the fiery abyss and, in doing so, save all of humanity! Pierre, I’ve long turned away from the temptations of life and style. Look at my coat, and see how I reject them! Pierre! But wait, do you have a shilling? Let’s grab a quick bite here—it’s an affordable spot; I come here sometimes. Come on, let’s go inside.”

BOOK XXI.
PIERRE IMMATURELY ATTEMPTS A MATURE WORK. TIDINGS FROM THE MEADOWS. PLINLIMMON.

I.

WE are now to behold Pierre permanently lodged in three lofty adjoining chambers of the Apostles. And passing on a little further in time, and overlooking the hundred and one domestic details, of how their internal arrangements were finally put into steady working order; how poor Delly, now giving over the sharper pangs of her grief, found in the lighter occupations of a handmaid and familiar companion to Isabel, the only practical relief from the memories of her miserable past; how Isabel herself in the otherwise occupied hours of Pierre, passed some of her time in mastering the chirographical incoherencies of his manuscripts, with a view to eventually copying them out in a legible hand for the printer; or went below stairs to the rooms of the Millthorpes, and in the modest and amiable society of the three young ladies and their excellent mother, found some little solace for the absence of Pierre; or, when his day’s work was done, sat by him in the twilight, and played her mystic guitar till Pierre felt chapter after chapter born of its wondrous suggestiveness; but alas! eternally incapable of being translated into words; for where the deepest words end, there music begins with its supersensuous and all-confounding intimations.

We now see Pierre permanently settled in three spacious neighboring rooms of the Apostles. And as time goes on, overlooking the countless everyday details of how their living arrangements were finally organized; how poor Delly, having moved past the sharper pains of her grief, found the lighter tasks of being a helper and close companion to Isabel as her only real relief from the memories of her unhappy past; how Isabel herself, during Pierre's busy hours, spent some time trying to make sense of the jumbled handwriting of his manuscripts, with the intention of eventually typing them up clearly for the printer; or went downstairs to the Millthorpes' rooms, where in the kind and friendly company of the three young ladies and their wonderful mother, she found a bit of comfort in Pierre's absence; or, when he was done with his work for the day, sat beside him in the fading light and played her mystical guitar until Pierre felt chapter after chapter emerge from its enchanting suggestions; but sadly! eternally unable to be expressed in words; for where the most profound words end, there music begins with its transcendent and all-encompassing hints.

Disowning now all previous exertions of his mind, and burning in scorn even those fine fruits of a care-free fancy, which, written at Saddle Meadows in the sweet legendary time of Lucy and her love, he had jealously kept from the publishers, as too true and good to be published; renouncing all his foregone self, Pierre was now engaged in a comprehensive compacted work, to whose speedy completion two tremendous motives unitedly impelled;—the burning desire to deliver what he thought to be new, or at least miserably neglected Truth to the world; and the prospective menace of being absolutely penniless, unless by the sale of his book, he could realize money. Swayed to universality of thought by the widely-explosive mental tendencies of the profound events which had lately befallen him, and the unprecedented situation in which he now found himself; and perceiving, by presentiment, that most grand productions of the best human intellects ever are built round a circle, as atolls (i. e. the primitive coral islets which, raising themselves in the depths of profoundest seas, rise funnel-like to the surface, and present there a hoop of white rock, which though on the outside everywhere lashed by the ocean, yet excludes all tempests from the quiet lagoon within), digestively including the whole range of all that can be known or dreamed; Pierre was resolved to give the world a book, which the world should hail with surprise and delight. A varied scope of reading, little suspected by his friends, and randomly acquired by a random but lynx-eyed mind, in the course of the multifarious, incidental, bibliographic encounterings of almost any civilized young inquirer after Truth; this poured one considerable contributary stream into that bottomless spring of original thought which the occasion and time had caused to burst out in himself. Now he congratulated himself upon all his cursory acquisitions of this sort; ignorant that in reality to a mind bent on producing some thoughtful thing of absolute Truth, all mere reading is apt to prove but an obstacle hard to overcome; and not an accelerator helpingly pushing him along.

Disowning all previous efforts of his mind and scorning even the fine products of a carefree imagination—written at Saddle Meadows during the sweet, legendary time of Lucy and her love—that he had carefully kept from publishers as too true and good to share, Pierre was now engaged in a comprehensive and compact work. Two powerful motivations drove him toward its swift completion: the burning desire to share what he believed to be new, or at least greatly overlooked, truth with the world; and the looming threat of being completely broke unless he could make money from the sale of his book. Influenced by the universal thoughts stemming from the intense events he had recently experienced and the unique situation he now faced; and sensing that the greatest works of human intellect are often built around a core idea, similar to atolls (i.e., the primitive coral islands that rise funnel-like from the depths of the sea to the surface, forming a ring of white rock, which, although battered by the ocean, protects the calm lagoon within), Pierre was determined to create a book that the world would greet with surprise and delight. A diverse range of reading—largely unknown to his friends and acquired randomly by his keen mind—had flowed into the wellspring of original thought that had erupted within him due to the circumstances and timing. He felt pleased with all these incidental learnings, unaware that for a mind focused on producing something truly thoughtful and honest, all that casual reading could actually become a significant obstacle rather than a helpful boost.

While Pierre was thinking that he was entirely transplanted into a new and wonderful element of Beauty and Power, he was, in fact, but in one of the stages of the transition. That ultimate element once fairly gained, then books no more are needed for buoys to our souls; our own strong limbs support us, and we float over all bottomlessnesses with a jeering impunity. He did not see,—or if he did, he could not yet name the true cause for it,—that already, in the incipiency of his work, the heavy unmalleable element of mere book-knowledge would not congenially weld with the wide fluidness and ethereal airiness of spontaneous creative thought. He would climb Parnassus with a pile of folios on his back. He did not see, that it was nothing at all to him, what other men had written; that though Plato was indeed a transcendently great man in himself, yet Plato must not be transcendently great to him (Pierre), so long as he (Pierre himself) would also do something transcendently great. He did not see that there is no such thing as a standard for the creative spirit; that no one great book must ever be separately regarded, and permitted to domineer with its own uniqueness upon the creative mind; but that all existing great works must be federated in the fancy; and so regarded as a miscellaneous and Pantheistic whole; and then,—without at all dictating to his own mind, or unduly biasing it any way,—thus combined, they would prove simply an exhilarative and provocative to him. He did not see, that even when thus combined, all was but one small mite, compared to the latent infiniteness and inexhaustibility in himself; that all the great books in the world are but the mutilated shadowings-forth of invisible and eternally unembodied images in the soul; so that they are but the mirrors, distortedly reflecting to us our own things; and never mind what the mirror may be, if we would see the object, we must look at the object itself, and not at its reflection.

While Pierre thought he was completely immersed in a new and amazing world of Beauty and Power, he was actually just in one stage of the transition. Once he truly achieved that ultimate element, he would no longer need books as lifebuoys for his soul; his own strong abilities would support him, allowing him to float above any depths with carefree confidence. He didn’t notice—or if he did, he couldn’t yet identify the real reason—that, from the very beginning of his work, the heavy, unyielding weight of mere book knowledge wouldn’t easily blend with the expansive fluidity and lightness of spontaneous creative thought. He was trying to climb Parnassus while carrying a stack of books on his back. He didn’t realize that what other people had written didn’t matter to him; even though Plato was a truly remarkable individual, Plato didn’t need to be remarkable to him (Pierre) as long as he (Pierre himself) also achieved something truly great. He failed to see that there’s no standard for the creative spirit; that no single great book should ever be viewed in isolation, dominating the creative mind with its uniqueness; rather, all great works should be combined in imagination and viewed as a varied and inclusive whole; then—without dictating to his own mind or unfairly swaying it—this amalgamation would simply serve as an exciting and stimulating force for him. He didn’t realize that even when combined, everything was still just a tiny fraction compared to the infinite potential and inexhaustibility within himself; that all the great books in the world are merely fragmented reflections of invisible and eternally unembodied ideas in the soul; so they are just mirrors, distorting our own thoughts back to us; and no matter what the mirror is, if we want to see the reality, we must look at the reality itself, not at its reflection.

But, as to the resolute traveler in Switzerland, the Alps do never in one wide and comprehensive sweep, instantaneously reveal their full awfulness of amplitude—their overawing extent of peak crowded on peak, and spur sloping on spur, and chain jammed behind chain, and all their wonderful battalionings of might; so hath heaven wisely ordained, that on first entering into the Switzerland of his soul, man shall not at once perceive its tremendous immensity; lest illy prepared for such an encounter, his spirit should sink and perish in the lowermost snows. Only by judicious degrees, appointed of God, does man come at last to gain his Mont Blanc and take an overtopping view of these Alps; and even then, the tithe is not shown; and far over the invisible Atlantic, the Rocky Mountains and the Andes are yet unbeheld. Appalling is the soul of a man! Better might one be pushed off into the material spaces beyond the uttermost orbit of our sun, than once feel himself fairly afloat in himself!

But for the determined traveler in Switzerland, the Alps never fully reveal their vastness all at once. The towering peaks stacked upon peaks, slopes fitting against slopes, and chains piled behind chains showcase their incredible power; yet, heaven has wisely arranged that when a person first enters the Switzerland of their soul, they do not immediately grasp its overwhelming grandeur. This way, unprepared for such an encounter, their spirit won’t collapse and get lost in the deepest reaches of despair. It is only through carefully planned steps, orchestrated by God, that a person eventually reaches their Mont Blanc and takes in a panoramic view of these Alps; and even then, they only see a fraction of what lies ahead, with the Rocky Mountains and the Andes still hidden far beyond the invisible Atlantic. The depths of a person’s soul are astonishing! Better to be cast into the vastness beyond the furthest orbit of our sun than to truly feel adrift within oneself!

But not now to consider these ulterior things, Pierre, though strangely and very newly alive to many before unregarded wonders in the general world; still, had he not as yet procured for himself that enchanter’s wand of the soul, which but touching the humblest experiences in one’s life, straightway it starts up all eyes, in every one of which are endless significancies. Not yet had he dropped his angle into the well of his childhood, to find what fish might be there; for who dreams to find fish in a well? the running stream of the outer world, there doubtless swim the golden perch and the pickerel! Ten million things were as yet uncovered to Pierre. The old mummy lies buried in cloth on cloth; it takes time to unwrap this Egyptian king. Yet now, forsooth, because Pierre began to see through the first superficiality of the world, he fondly weens he has come to the unlayered substance. But, far as any geologist has yet gone down into the world, it is found to consist of nothing but surface stratified on surface. To its axis, the world being nothing but superinduced superficies. By vast pains we mine into the pyramid; by horrible gropings we come to the central room; with joy we espy the sarcophagus; but we lift the lid—and no body is there!—appallingly vacant as vast is the soul of a man!

But now isn't the time to think about those deeper things, Pierre, even though he's strangely and newly aware of many previously unnoticed wonders in the world around him; still, he hasn't yet acquired that magical ability to see deeper into the soul, which, by simply touching the smallest experiences in life, immediately reveals countless meanings in everyone’s eyes. He hasn't yet dropped his line into the well of his childhood to see what he might catch there; because who expects to find fish in a well? In the flowing stream of the outside world, the golden perch and the pickerel certainly swim! Millions of things remain undiscovered for Pierre. The old mummy is wrapped tightly in layers of cloth; it takes time to unwrap this ancient king. Yet now, because Pierre is starting to see through the initial surface of the world, he naively believes he's reached the core substance. However, as far as any geologist has dug into the earth, it's found to be nothing but layers upon layers. At its core, the world is just a series of superficial layers piled on top of each other. With great effort, we mine into the pyramid; through horrible searching, we reach the central chamber; with joy, we spot the sarcophagus; but when we lift the lid—there’s no body inside!—as emptily vast as the soul of a man!


II.

HE had been engaged some weeks upon his book—in pursuance of his settled plan avoiding all contact with any of his city-connections or friends, even as in his social downfall they sedulously avoided seeking him out—nor ever once going or sending to the post-office, though it was but a little round the corner from where he was, since having dispatched no letters himself, he expected none; thus isolated from the world, and intent upon his literary enterprise, Pierre had passed some weeks, when verbal tidings came to him, of three most momentous events.

He had been working on his book for several weeks, sticking to his plan of avoiding any contact with his city connections or friends, just as they had diligently avoided reaching out to him during his social downfall. He hadn’t even gone to or sent anything to the post office, even though it was just around the corner from where he was. Since he hadn’t sent any letters himself, he didn’t expect any in return. Isolated from the world and focused on his writing, Pierre had spent a few weeks when he heard news of three very significant events.

First: his mother was dead.

First: his mom was gone.

Second: all Saddle Meadows was become Glen Stanly’s.

Second: all of Saddle Meadows had become Glen Stanly's.

Third: Glen Stanly was believed to be the suitor of Lucy; who, convalescent from an almost mortal illness, was now dwelling at her mother’s house in town.

Third: Glen Stanly was thought to be Lucy's suitor; she was recovering from a life-threatening illness and was now staying at her mother’s house in town.

It was chiefly the first-mentioned of these events which darted a sharp natural anguish into Pierre. No letter had come to him; no smallest ring or memorial been sent him; no slightest mention made of him in the will; and yet it was reported that an inconsolable grief had induced his mother’s mortal malady, and driven her at length into insanity, which suddenly terminated in death; and when he first heard of that event, she had been cold in the ground for twenty-five days.

It was mainly the first of these events that struck Pierre with a deep natural sadness. No letter had come to him; no small token or memory had been sent his way; there was no mention of him in the will; and yet it was said that his mother’s overwhelming grief had caused her fatal illness and eventually led her to madness, which abruptly ended in death. By the time he first heard this news, she had already been buried for twenty-five days.

How plainly did all this speak of the equally immense pride and grief of his once magnificent mother; and how agonizedly now did it hint of her mortally-wounded love for her only and best-beloved Pierre! In vain he reasoned with himself; in vain remonstrated with himself; in vain sought to parade all his stoic arguments to drive off the onslaught of natural passion. Nature prevailed; and with tears that like acid burned and scorched as they flowed, he wept, he raved, at the bitter loss of his parent; whose eyes had been closed by unrelated hands that were hired; but whose heart had been broken, and whose very reason been ruined, by the related hands of her son.

How clearly all of this showed the immense pride and grief of his once-great mother; and how painfully it hinted at her deeply wounded love for her only and dearest Pierre! He tried to reason with himself; he tried to argue with himself; he tried to use all his stoic thoughts to fend off the rush of natural emotion. Nature won; and with tears that felt like burning acid as they streamed down his face, he wept and raged over the devastating loss of his parent; whose eyes had been closed by unaffiliated hands that were paid; but whose heart had been broken, and whose very sanity shattered, by the hands of her own son.

For some interval it almost seemed as if his own heart would snap; his own reason go down. Unendurable grief of a man, when Death itself gives the stab, and then snatches all availments to solacement away. For in the grave is no help, no prayer thither may go, no forgiveness thence come; so that the penitent whose sad victim lies in the ground, for that useless penitent his doom is eternal, and though it be Christmas-day with all Christendom, with him it is Hell-day and an eaten liver forever.

For a while, it almost felt like his heart would break; his sanity was slipping away. The unbearable sorrow of a man when Death strikes and takes away any chance for comfort. In the grave, there’s no help, no prayers can reach there, and no forgiveness can come from it. So, the remorseful person whose unfortunate loved one lies buried faces eternal despair, and even if it’s Christmas Day for everyone else, for him it’s a day of torment and a never-ending suffering.

With what marvelous precision and exactitude he now went over in his mind all the minutest details of his old joyous life with his mother at Saddle Meadows. He began with his own toilet in the morning; then his mild stroll into the fields; then his cheerful return to call his mother in her chamber; then the gay breakfast—and so on, and on, all through the sweet day, till mother and son kissed, and with light, loving hearts separated to their beds, to prepare themselves for still another day of affectionate delight. This recalling of innocence and joy in the hour of remorsefulness and woe; this is as heating red-hot the pincers that tear us. But in this delirium of his soul, Pierre could not define where that line was, which separated the natural grief for the loss of a parent from that other one which was born of compunction. He strove hard to define it, but could not. He tried to cozen himself into believing that all his grief was but natural, or if there existed any other, that must spring—not from the consciousness of having done any possible wrong—but from the pang at what terrible cost the more exalted virtues are gained. Nor did he wholly fail in this endeavor. At last he dismissed his mother’s memory into that same profound vault where hitherto had reposed the swooned form of his Lucy. But, as sometimes men are coffined in a trance, being thereby mistaken for dead; so it is possible to bury a tranced grief in the soul, erroneously supposing that it hath no more vitality of suffering. Now, immortal things only can beget immortality. It would almost seem one presumptive argument for the endless duration of the human soul, that it is impossible in time and space to kill any compunction arising from having cruelly injured a departed fellow-being.

With incredible precision, he reflected on all the small details of his joyful life with his mother at Saddle Meadows. He started with his morning routine; then his gentle walk into the fields; then his happy return to call his mother in her room; then the cheerful breakfast—and so on, throughout the wonderful day, until mother and son kissed goodnight and, with light, loving hearts, went to their separate beds to rest up for another day of affectionate joy. Remembering that innocence and happiness during a time of regret and sorrow felt like heating red-hot the pincers that tear us apart. But in this turmoil of his soul, Pierre couldn’t figure out where the line was that separated the natural grief of losing a parent from the guilt that arose within him. He struggled to understand it, but he couldn’t. He tried to convince himself that all his sadness was just natural, or if there was something else, it couldn’t be from the awareness of having done anything wrong, but from the pain of realizing how much the nobler virtues cost. He didn’t entirely fail in this effort. Eventually, he buried his mother’s memory deep down in the same profound place where he had laid the still form of his Lucy. But just like how sometimes people are mistakenly thought to be dead when they are in a trance, it’s also possible to bury a grief that feels dormant in the soul, incorrectly assuming it no longer has the power to cause pain. Only immortal things can give rise to immortality. It almost seems to be an argument for the eternal nature of the human soul that it’s impossible, in time and space, to eliminate any guilt that comes from having cruelly hurt a deceased fellow being.

Ere he finally committed his mother to the profoundest vault of his soul, fain would he have drawn one poor alleviation from a circumstance, which nevertheless, impartially viewed, seemed equally capable either of soothing or intensifying his grief. His mother’s will, which without the least mention of his own name, bequeathed several legacies to her friends, and concluded by leaving all Saddle Meadows and its rent-rolls to Glendinning Stanly; this will bore the date of the day immediately succeeding his fatal announcement on the landing of the stairs, of his assumed nuptials with Isabel. It plausibly pressed upon him, that as all the evidences of his mother’s dying unrelentingness toward him were negative; and the only positive evidence—so to speak—of even that negativeness, was the will which omitted all mention of Pierre; therefore, as that will bore so significant a date, it must needs be most reasonable to conclude, that it was dictated in the not yet subsided transports of his mother’s first indignation. But small consolation was this, when he considered the final insanity of his mother; for whence that insanity but from a hate-grief unrelenting, even as his father must have become insane from a sin-grief irreparable? Nor did this remarkable double-doom of his parents wholly fail to impress his mind with presentiments concerning his own fate—his own hereditary liability to madness. Presentiment, I say; but what is a presentiment? how shall you coherently define a presentiment, or how make any thing out of it which is at all lucid, unless you say that a presentiment is but a judgment in disguise? And if a judgment in disguise, and yet possessing this preternaturalness of prophecy, how then shall you escape the fateful conclusion, that you are helplessly held in the six hands of the Sisters? For while still dreading your doom, you foreknow it. Yet how foreknow and dread in one breath, unless with this divine seeming power of prescience, you blend the actual slimy powerlessness of defense?

Before he finally locked away his mother in the deepest part of his soul, he desperately wanted to find some small comfort in a situation that, when looked at fairly, appeared equally capable of easing or deepening his sorrow. His mother’s will, which mentioned none of his name, left a number of legacies to her friends and finished by bequeathing all of Saddle Meadows and its income to Glendinning Stanly. This will was dated the day after he received the devastating news on the stairs about his supposed marriage to Isabel. It seemed reasonable to him that since all signs of his mother’s unwavering disapproval towards him were negative, the only clear evidence of that negativity was the will that completely overlooked Pierre; therefore, given the significant date of that will, it made sense to conclude that it was influenced by the still-unsettled emotions of his mother’s initial outrage. But this thought brought little consolation when he reflected on his mother’s ultimate madness; for where did that madness stem from if not from a relentless grief, just as his father must have succumbed to an irremediable sin? Nor did this peculiar double curse of his parents fail to fill his mind with foreboding about his own destiny—his own inherited tendency towards madness. Foreboding, I say; but what is foreboding? How can you coherently define foreboding, or make any sense of it, unless you claim that foreboding is merely a disguised judgment? And if it’s a disguised judgment, yet still carries this unnatural sense of prophecy, how can you escape the grim conclusion that you are helplessly trapped in the clutches of fate? For while you still fear your doom, you already know it. Yet how can you both know and fear simultaneously, unless you blend the seeming divine power of foresight with the actual slimy helplessness of defense?

That his cousin, Glen Stanly, had been chosen by his mother to inherit the domain of the Meadows, was not entirely surprising to Pierre. Not only had Glen always been a favorite with his mother by reason of his superb person and his congeniality of worldly views with herself, but excepting only Pierre, he was her nearest surviving blood relation; and moreover, in his christian name, bore the hereditary syllables, Glendinning. So that if to any one but Pierre the Meadows must descend, Glen, on these general grounds, seemed the appropriate heir.

It wasn't entirely surprising to Pierre that his cousin, Glen Stanly, had been chosen by his mother to inherit the Meadows. Glen had always been a favorite of her's because of his good looks and how well their views aligned, and aside from Pierre, he was her closest living relative. Plus, he carried the name Glendinning, which had been passed down through the family. So if the Meadows were to go to anyone other than Pierre, Glen seemed like the right choice based on those reasons.

But it is not natural for a man, never mind who he may be, to see a noble patrimony, rightfully his, go over to a soul-alien, and that alien once his rival in love, and now his heartless, sneering foe; for so Pierre could not but now argue of Glen; it is not natural for a man to see this without singular emotions of discomfort and hate. Nor in Pierre were these feelings at all soothed by the report of Glen’s renewed attentions to Lucy. For there is something in the breast of almost every man, which at bottom takes offense at the attentions of any other man offered to a woman, the hope of whose nuptial love he himself may have discarded. Fain would a man selfishly appropriate all the hearts which have ever in any way confessed themselves his. Besides, in Pierre’s case, this resentment was heightened by Glen’s previous hypocritical demeanor. For now all his suspicions seemed abundantly verified; and comparing all dates, he inferred that Glen’s visit to Europe had only been undertaken to wear off the pang of his rejection by Lucy, a rejection tacitly consequent upon her not denying her affianced relation to Pierre.

But it’s not natural for a man, no matter who he is, to watch a noble inheritance, rightfully his, pass over to someone completely different, especially when that person was once his rival in love and is now his heartless, mocking enemy; this is how Pierre felt about Glen. It’s unnatural for a man to experience this without strong feelings of discomfort and hatred. Pierre's feelings were only worsened by the news of Glen’s renewed interest in Lucy. There’s something in almost every man that feels offended when another man shows attention to a woman he himself has given up hope on marrying. A man selfishly wants to claim all the hearts that have ever acknowledged him. Additionally, in Pierre’s case, this resentment was intensified by Glen’s earlier deceitful behavior. Now all of Pierre's suspicions seemed confirmed; and by piecing together the timeline, he concluded that Glen’s trip to Europe was just a way to get over the pain of being rejected by Lucy, which was unspokenly tied to her not denying her engagement to Pierre.

But now, under the mask of profound sympathy—in time, ripening into love—for a most beautiful girl, ruffianly deserted by her betrothed, Glen could afford to be entirely open in his new suit, without at all exposing his old scar to the world. So at least it now seemed to Pierre. Moreover, Glen could now approach Lucy under the most favorable possible auspices. He could approach her as a deeply sympathizing friend, all wishful to assuage her sorrow, but hinting nothing, at present, of any selfish matrimonial intent; by enacting this prudent and unclamorous part, the mere sight of such tranquil, disinterested, but indestructible devotedness, could not but suggest in Lucy’s mind, very natural comparisons between Glen and Pierre, most deplorably abasing to the latter. Then, no woman—as it would sometimes seem—no woman is utterly free from the influence of a princely social position in her suitor, especially if he be handsome and young. And Glen would come to her now the master of two immense fortunes, and the heir, by voluntary election, no less than by blood propinquity, to the ancestral bannered hall, and the broad manorial meadows of the Glendinnings. And thus, too, the spirit of Pierre’s own mother would seem to press Glen’s suit. Indeed, situated now as he was Glen would seem all the finest part of Pierre, without any of Pierre’s shame; would almost seem Pierre himself—what Pierre had once been to Lucy. And as in the case of a man who has lost a sweet wife, and who long refuses the least consolation; as this man at last finds a singular solace in the companionship of his wife’s sister, who happens to bear a peculiar family resemblance to the dead; and as he, in the end, proposes marriage to this sister, merely from the force of such magical associative influences; so it did not seem wholly out of reason to suppose, that the great manly beauty of Glen, possessing a strong related similitude to Pierre’s, might raise in Lucy’s heart associations, which would lead her at least to seek—if she could not find—solace for one now regarded as dead and gone to her forever, in the devotedness of another, who would notwithstanding almost seem as that dead one brought back to life.

But now, under the guise of deep sympathy that might eventually turn into love for a stunning girl, who had been ruthlessly abandoned by her fiancé, Glen could be completely honest in his new role without revealing his past scars to the world. At least, that’s how it appeared to Pierre. Furthermore, Glen could now approach Lucy with the best possible intentions. He could come to her as a sincerely caring friend, eager to ease her pain, while currently hinting at none of his own selfish desires for marriage. By playing this careful and subtle role, the mere sight of his calm, selfless, but unwavering devotion would surely spark very natural comparisons in Lucy’s mind between Glen and Pierre, which would certainly lower Pierre in her eyes. After all, as it sometimes seems, no woman is entirely immune to the allure of a suitor’s noble social standing, especially if he's handsome and young. And Glen would now approach her as the master of two huge fortunes, and the chosen heir, not just by blood but by deliberate choice, to the ancestral estate and the expansive estate lands of the Glendinnings. Moreover, it felt like the spirit of Pierre’s own mother was advocating for Glen’s pursuit. In fact, given his current situation, Glen would appear to be all the best parts of Pierre, without any of Pierre’s shame; he would almost seem like Pierre himself—what Pierre had once been to Lucy. It's similar to a man who has lost a beloved wife and who initially rejects any consolation; when he eventually finds unexpected comfort in the company of his wife’s sister, who happens to share a striking resemblance to the deceased. In the end, he proposes to this sister, driven by those magical associations. So it doesn’t seem unreasonable to think that Glen’s great masculine beauty, which bears a strong resemblance to Pierre’s, might evoke in Lucy’s heart feelings that would lead her to seek—if she couldn’t find—comfort for someone she now sees as dead and lost to her forever, through the devotion of another, who would nonetheless almost seem like that departed soul returned to life.

Deep, deep, and still deep and deeper must we go, if we would find out the heart of a man; descending into which is as descending a spiral stair in a shaft, without any end, and where that endlessness is only concealed by the spiralness of the stair, and the blackness of the shaft.

Deep, deep, and still deeper we must go if we want to discover the heart of a man. It's like going down a spiral staircase in a bottomless pit, where the endlessness is hidden only by the spiral of the stairs and the darkness of the shaft.

As Pierre conjured up this phantom of Glen transformed into the seeming semblance of himself; as he figured it advancing toward Lucy and raising her hand in devotion; an infinite quenchless rage and malice possessed him. Many commingled emotions combined to provoke this storm. But chief of all was something strangely akin to that indefinable detestation which one feels for any impostor who has dared to assume one’s own name and aspect in any equivocal or dishonorable affair; an emotion greatly intensified if this impostor be known for a mean villain at bottom, and also, by the freak of nature to be almost the personal duplicate of the man whose identity he assumes. All these and a host of other distressful and resentful fancies now ran through the breast of Pierre. All his Faith-born, enthusiastic, high-wrought, stoic, and philosophic defenses, were now beaten down by this sudden storm of nature in his soul. For there is no faith, and no stoicism, and no philosophy, that a mortal man can possibly evoke, which will stand the final test of a real impassioned onset of Life and Passion upon him. Then all the fair philosophic or Faith-phantoms that he raised from the mist, slide away and disappear as ghosts at cock-crow. For Faith and philosophy are air, but events are brass. Amidst his gray philosophizings, Life breaks upon a man like a morning.

As Pierre envisioned this ghost of Glen, who seemed to take on his own likeness; as he imagined it moving toward Lucy and raising her hand in devotion; he was consumed by an endless rage and hatred. A mixture of emotions stirred this turmoil within him. But above all was a feeling that resembled the deep loathing one feels for any fraud who has dared to take on their name and appearance in a questionable or dishonorable situation; a feeling that was amplified if this fraud was known to be a lowly villain at heart and, by a twist of fate, almost a perfect replica of the person whose identity he claimed. All these distressing and resentful thoughts flooded through Pierre's mind. His faith-inspired, enthusiastic, intense, stoic, and philosophical defenses crumbled under this sudden storm brewing within his soul. For there is no faith, stoicism, or philosophy that a person can summon that will endure the ultimate test of a real, passionate onslaught of Life and Emotion. Then all the beautiful philosophical or faith-based visions he conjured from the mist vanish like ghosts at dawn. Because faith and philosophy are intangible, but events are solid. Amidst his deep thoughts, Life breaks upon a person like the morning light.

While this mood was on him, Pierre cursed himself for a heartless villain and an idiot fool;—heartless villain, as the murderer of his mother—idiot fool, because he had thrown away all his felicity; because he had himself, as it were, resigned his noble birthright to a cunning kinsman for a mess of pottage, which now proved all but ashes in his mouth.

While he was in this mood, Pierre cursed himself for being a heartless villain and an idiot; heartless villain for being the murderer of his mother, and an idiot because he had thrown away all his happiness. He had essentially given up his noble birthright to a clever relative for a bowl of stew, which now felt like nothing but ashes in his mouth.

Resolved to hide these new, and—as it latently seemed to him—unworthy pangs, from Isabel, as also their cause, he quitted his chamber, intending a long vagabond stroll in the suburbs of the town, to wear off his sharper grief, ere he should again return into her sight.

Determined to keep these new and, as he secretly felt, unworthy feelings from Isabel, along with their source, he left his room. He planned to take a long aimless walk in the outskirts of the town to help ease his intense sadness before he faced her again.


III.

AS Pierre, now hurrying from his chamber, was rapidly passing through one of the higher brick colonnades connecting the ancient building with the modern, there advanced toward him from the direction of the latter, a very plain, composed, manly figure, with a countenance rather pale if any thing, but quite clear and without wrinkle. Though the brow and the beard, and the steadiness of the head and settledness of the step indicated mature age, yet the blue, bright, but still quiescent eye offered a very striking contrast. In that eye, the gay immortal youth Apollo, seemed enshrined; while on that ivory-throned brow, old Saturn cross-legged sat. The whole countenance of this man, the whole air and look of this man, expressed a cheerful content. Cheerful is the adjective, for it was the contrary of gloom; content—perhaps acquiescence—is the substantive, for it was not Happiness or Delight. But while the personal look and air of this man were thus winning, there was still something latently visible in him which repelled. That something may best be characterized as non-Benevolence. Non-Benevolence seems the best word, for it was neither Malice nor Ill-will; but something passive. To crown all, a certain floating atmosphere seemed to invest and go along with this man. That atmosphere seems only renderable in words by the term Inscrutableness. Though the clothes worn by this man were strictly in accordance with the general style of any unobtrusive gentleman’s dress, yet his clothes seemed to disguise this man. One would almost have said, his very face, the apparently natural glance of his very eye disguised this man.

AS Pierre, now rushing from his room, was quickly moving through one of the taller brick colonnades that connected the old building with the new. From the direction of the modern building, a very ordinary, calm, and manly figure approached him, with a face that was somewhat pale, but clear and unwrinkled. Although his forehead and beard, along with the steadiness of his head and the purposefulness of his step, indicated that he was mature, the bright blue eye, still calm, offered a striking contrast. In that eye, the youthful spirit of Apollo seemed to be present, while old Saturn sat cross-legged on that ivory-throned brow. The entire expression of this man, his demeanor and presence, conveyed a cheerful contentment. Cheerful describes it well, as it was the opposite of gloom; content—perhaps acceptance—fits, as it was not true Happiness or Delight. Yet, despite his appealing appearance and demeanor, there was still something subtly off-putting about him. That something could best be described as non-Benevolence. Non-Benevolence seems the right term, as it was neither Malice nor Ill-will, but something passive. To top it all off, a certain intangible aura seemed to surround this man. That aura can only be captured in words by the term Inscrutableness. Although his clothing was typical for an understated gentleman, his attire seemed to mask his true self. One might almost say that even his face and the seemingly natural look in his eye concealed who he really was.

Now, as this person deliberately passed by Pierre, he lifted his hat, gracefully bowed, smiled gently, and passed on. But Pierre was all confusion; he flushed, looked askance, stammered with his hand at his hat to return the courtesy of the other; he seemed thoroughly upset by the mere sight of this hat-lifting, gracefully bowing, gently-smiling, and most miraculously self-possessed, non-benevolent man.

Now, as this person intentionally walked by Pierre, he tipped his hat, bowed elegantly, smiled softly, and kept moving. But Pierre was completely bewildered; he blushed, glanced away, stammered while raising his hand to his hat to acknowledge the other’s gesture; he seemed utterly disturbed by the mere sight of this hat-tipping, graceful bowing, gentle-smiling, and most impressively composed, unfriendly man.

Now who was this man? This man was Plotinus Plinlimmon. Pierre had read a treatise of his in a stage-coach coming to the city, and had heard him often spoken of by Millthorpe and others as the Grand Master of a certain mystic Society among the Apostles. Whence he came, no one could tell. His surname was Welsh, but he was a Tennesseean by birth. He seemed to have no family or blood ties of any sort. He never was known to work with his hands; never to write with his hands (he would not even write a letter); he never was known to open a book. There were no books in his chamber. Nevertheless, some day or other he must have read books, but that time seemed gone now; as for the sleazy works that went under his name, they were nothing more than his verbal things, taken down at random, and bunglingly methodized by his young disciples.

Now who was this guy? This guy was Plotinus Plinlimmon. Pierre had read one of his essays on a coach ride into the city and had heard him talked about frequently by Millthorpe and others as the Grand Master of a certain mystical Society among the Apostles. Where he came from, no one could say. His last name was Welsh, but he was born in Tennessee. He didn’t seem to have any family or blood relations at all. He was never seen working with his hands; he never wrote anything himself (he wouldn’t even write a letter); he was never known to open a book. There were no books in his room. Yet somehow, at some point, he must have read books, but that time felt long gone now; as for the low-quality works that were attributed to him, they were just his spoken ideas, written down haphazardly and clumsily organized by his young followers.

Finding Plinlimmon thus unfurnished either with books or pen and paper, and imputing it to something like indigence, a foreign scholar, a rich nobleman, who chanced to meet him once, sent him a fine supply of stationery, with a very fine set of volumes,—Cardan, Epictetus, the Book of Mormon, Abraham Tucker, Condorcet and the Zenda-Vesta. But this noble foreign scholar calling next day—perhaps in expectation of some compliment for his great kindness—started aghast at his own package deposited just without the door of Plinlimmon, and with all fastenings untouched.

Finding Plinlimmon without any books or writing materials, and assuming it was due to some kind of poverty, a wealthy foreign scholar who met him once sent him a nice supply of stationery and a great collection of books—Cardan, Epictetus, the Book of Mormon, Abraham Tucker, Condorcet, and the Zenda-Vesta. But when this noble foreign scholar visited the next day—maybe expecting some gratitude for his generosity—he was shocked to see his package untouched just outside Plinlimmon's door, with all the seals intact.

“Missent,” said Plotinus Plinlimmon placidly: “if any thing, I looked for some choice Curaçoa from a nobleman like you. I should be very happy, my dear Count, to accept a few jugs of choice Curaçoa.”

“Missent,” said Plotinus Plinlimmon calmly: “if anything, I was hoping for some fine Curaçao from a nobleman like you. I would be very happy, my dear Count, to accept a few jugs of fine Curaçao.”

“I thought that the society of which you are the head, excluded all things of that sort”—replied the Count.

“I thought that the society you lead didn’t allow things like that,” replied the Count.

“Dear Count, so they do; but Mohammed hath his own dispensation.”

“Dear Count, that's true; but Mohammed has his own way of doing things.”

“Ah! I see,” said the noble scholar archly.

“Ah! I get it,” said the noble scholar with a sly smile.

“I am afraid you do not see, dear Count”—said Plinlimmon; and instantly before the eyes of the Count, the inscrutable atmosphere eddied and eddied roundabout this Plotinus Plinlimmon.

“I’m afraid you don’t see, dear Count,” said Plinlimmon; and immediately before the Count’s eyes, the mysterious atmosphere swirled around Plotinus Plinlimmon.

His chance brushing encounter in the corridor was the first time that ever Pierre had without medium beheld the form or the face of Plinlimmon. Very early after taking chambers at the Apostles’, he had been struck by a steady observant blue-eyed countenance at one of the loftiest windows of the old gray tower, which on the opposite side of the quadrangular space, rose prominently before his own chamber. Only through two panes of glass—his own and the stranger’s—had Pierre hitherto beheld that remarkable face of repose,—repose neither divine nor human, nor any thing made up of either or both—but a repose separate and apart—a repose of a face by itself. One adequate look at that face conveyed to most philosophical observers a notion of something not before included in their scheme of the Universe.

His brief encounter in the hallway was the first time Pierre had seen Plinlimmon's face without any barrier. Soon after moving into his chambers at the Apostles’, he had noticed a steady, observant blue-eyed face at one of the highest windows of the old gray tower that loomed prominently across the courtyard from his own room. Until then, Pierre had only seen that remarkable expression of calm through two panes of glass—his own and the stranger’s. It was a calm that was neither divine nor human, nor a mix of both, but a calm that existed entirely on its own—a calm unique to that face. Just one good look at that face gave most thoughtful observers a sense of something that hadn’t been part of their understanding of the Universe before.

Now as to the mild sun, glass is no hindrance at all, but he transmits his light and life through the glass; even so through Pierre’s panes did the tower face transmit its strange mystery.

Now, with the gentle sun, glass poses no barrier; it allows his light and life to shine through. In the same way, the tower face shared its strange mystery through Pierre’s windows.

Becoming more and more interested in this face, he had questioned Millthorpe concerning it “Bless your soul”—replied Millthorpe—“that is Plotinus Plinlimmon! our Grand Master, Plotinus Plinlimmon! By gad, you must know Plotinus thoroughly, as I have long done. Come away with me, now, and let me introduce you instanter to Plotinus Plinlimmon.”

Becoming increasingly curious about this face, he asked Millthorpe about it. “Bless your soul,” Millthorpe replied, “that’s Plotinus Plinlimmon! Our Grand Master, Plotinus Plinlimmon! By gosh, you must know Plotinus inside and out, just like I have for a long time. Come on with me now, and let me introduce you to Plotinus Plinlimmon right away.”

But Pierre declined; and could not help thinking, that though in all human probability Plotinus well understood Millthorpe, yet Millthorpe could hardly yet have wound himself into Plotinus;—though indeed Plotinus—who at times was capable of assuming a very off-hand, confidential, and simple, sophomorean air—might, for reasons best known to himself, have tacitly pretended to Millthorpe, that he (Millthorpe) had thoroughly wriggled himself into his (Plotinus’) innermost soul.

But Pierre refused and couldn’t shake the thought that while it was likely Plotinus understood Millthorpe well, Millthorpe probably hadn’t fully connected with Plotinus yet. Although, it’s true that Plotinus, who sometimes could act very casual, friendly, and simple-minded, might have discreetly led Millthorpe to believe that he had really figured out Plotinus’ deepest thoughts.

A man will be given a book, and when the donor’s back is turned, will carelessly drop it in the first corner; he is not over-anxious to be bothered with the book. But now personally point out to him the author, and ten to one he goes back to the corner, picks up the book, dusts the cover, and very carefully reads that invaluable work. One does not vitally believe in a man till one’s own two eyes have beheld him. If then, by the force of peculiar circumstances, Pierre while in the stage, had formerly been drawn into an attentive perusal of the work on “Chronometricals and Horologicals;” how then was his original interest heightened by catching a subsequent glimpse of the author. But at the first reading, not being able—as he thought—to master the pivot-idea of the pamphlet; and as every incomprehended idea is not only a perplexity but a taunting reproach to one’s mind, Pierre had at last ceased studying it altogether; nor consciously troubled himself further about it during the remainder of the journey. But still thinking now it might possibly have been mechanically retained by him, he searched all the pockets of his clothes, but without success. He begged Millthorpe to do his best toward procuring him another copy; but it proved impossible to find one. Plotinus himself could not furnish it.

A man is given a book, and when the person who gave it to him isn’t watching, he carelessly drops it in the nearest corner; he doesn’t really want to deal with the book. But if you point out the author to him, there’s a good chance he’ll go back to the corner, pick up the book, dust off the cover, and carefully read that priceless work. You don’t truly believe in someone until you see them with your own eyes. If, due to certain circumstances, Pierre had previously found himself attentively reading the book on “Chronometricals and Horologicals,” how much more invested was he when he caught a glimpse of the author later. However, during his first reading, thinking he couldn’t grasp the main idea of the pamphlet—and since any idea you can’t understand becomes frustrating and a nagging annoyance—Pierre eventually gave up studying it completely and didn’t consciously think about it again for the rest of the journey. Still, believing he might have retained something of it, he searched all his clothing pockets, but didn’t find anything. He asked Millthorpe to help him find another copy, but it turned out to be impossible to locate one. Even Plotinus himself couldn’t provide it.

Among other efforts, Pierre in person had accosted a limping half-deaf old book-stall man, not very far from the Apostles’. “Have you the ‘Chronometrics,’ my friend?” forgetting the exact title.

Among other efforts, Pierre had approached a limping, half-deaf old man who ran a book stall, not too far from the Apostles’. “Do you have the ‘Chronometrics,’ my friend?” he asked, forgetting the exact title.

“Very bad, very bad!” said the old man, rubbing his back;—“has had the chronic-rheumatics ever so long; what’s good for ’em?”

“Very bad, very bad!” said the old man, rubbing his back;—“I've had chronic rheumatism for so long; what’s good for it?”

Perceiving his mistake, Pierre replied that he did not know what was the infallible remedy.

Realizing his mistake, Pierre said that he didn't know what the foolproof solution was.

“Whist! let me tell ye, then, young ’un,” said the old cripple, limping close up to him, and putting his mouth in Pierre’s ear—“Never catch ’em!—now’s the time, while you’re young:—never catch ’em!”

“Shh! Let me tell you something, kid,” said the old man, limping closer and leaning in to Pierre’s ear—“Don’t ever catch them!—now’s the time, while you’re young:—never catch them!”

By-and-by the blue-eyed, mystic-mild face in the upper window of the old gray tower began to domineer in a very remarkable manner upon Pierre. When in his moods of peculiar depression and despair; when dark thoughts of his miserable condition would steal over him; and black doubts as to the integrity of his unprecedented course in life would most malignantly suggest themselves; when a thought of the vanity of his deep book would glidingly intrude; if glancing at his closet-window that mystic-mild face met Pierre’s; under any of these influences the effect was surprising, and not to be adequately detailed in any possible words.

By and by, the blue-eyed, soft-faced figure in the upper window of the old gray tower began to exert a strong influence over Pierre. When he was feeling particularly down and filled with despair; when dark thoughts about his unfortunate situation crept in; and when nagging doubts about the validity of his unique path in life arose; when the emptiness of his profound book would subtly intrude; if he happened to glance at his closet window and see that gentle face, the impact was striking and beyond what words could fully capture.

Vain! vain! vain! said the face to him. Fool! fool! fool! said the face to him. Quit! quit! quit! said the face to him. But when he mentally interrogated the face as to why it thrice said Vain! Fool! Quit! to him; here there was no response. For that face did not respond to any thing. Did I not say before that that face was something separate, and apart; a face by itself? Now, any thing which is thus a thing by itself never responds to any other thing. If to affirm, be to expand one’s isolated self; and if to deny, be to contract one’s isolated self; then to respond is a suspension of all isolation. Though this face in the tower was so clear and so mild; though the gay youth Apollo was enshrined in that eye, and paternal old Saturn sat cross-legged on that ivory brow; yet somehow to Pierre the face at last wore a sort of malicious leer to him. But the Kantists might say, that this was a subjective sort of leer in Pierre. Any way, the face seemed to leer upon Pierre. And now it said to him—Ass! ass! ass! This expression was insufferable. He procured some muslin for his closet-window; and the face became curtained like any portrait. But this did not mend the leer. Pierre knew that still the face leered behind the muslin. What was most terrible was the idea that by some magical means or other the face had got hold of his secret. “Ay,” shuddered Pierre, “the face knows that Isabel is not my wife! And that seems the reason it leers.”

Vain! Vain! Vain! said the face to him. Fool! Fool! Fool! said the face to him. Quit! Quit! Quit! said the face to him. But when he mentally asked the face why it repeated Vain! Fool! Quit! to him, there was no answer. That face didn’t respond to anything. Didn’t I mention before that the face was something separate and distinct, a face all on its own? Anything that stands alone doesn’t respond to anything else. If affirming expands one’s isolated self, and denying contracts it, then responding is a suspension of all isolation. Even though this face in the tower was so clear and gentle; even though the joyful youth Apollo was enshrined in that eye, and paternal old Saturn sat cross-legged on that ivory brow; somehow, to Pierre, the face eventually took on a sort of malicious smirk. But the Kantists might argue that this was a subjective sort of smirk in Pierre. Either way, the face seemed to sneer at Pierre. And now it said to him—Ass! Ass! Ass! This remark was unbearable. He got some muslin for his window, and the face was covered like any portrait. But that didn’t fix the smirk. Pierre knew that the face still smirked behind the muslin. What was most terrifying was the thought that, by some magical means, the face had discovered his secret. “Oh,” shuddered Pierre, “the face knows that Isabel is not my wife! And that seems to be why it’s smirking.”

Then would all manner of wild fancyings float through his soul, and detached sentences of the “Chronometrics” would vividly recur to him—sentences before but imperfectly comprehended, but now shedding a strange, baleful light upon his peculiar condition, and emphatically denouncing it. Again he tried his best to procure the pamphlet, to read it now by the commentary of the mystic-mild face; again he searched through the pockets of his clothes for the stage-coach copy, but in vain.

Then all kinds of wild thoughts would float through his mind, and snippets from the “Chronometrics” would suddenly come back to him—lines he hadn’t fully understood before, but now they cast a strange, ominous light on his unique situation, strongly criticizing it. Once again, he tried hard to get the pamphlet, wanting to read it now with the insight of the gentle, mystical face; again, he searched through the pockets of his clothes for the stage-coach copy, but with no luck.

And when—at the critical moment of quitting his chambers that morning of the receipt of the fatal tidings—the face itself—the man himself—this inscrutable Plotinus Plinlimmon himself—did visibly brush by him in the brick corridor, and all the trepidation he had ever before felt at the mild-mystic aspect in the tower window, now redoubled upon him, so that, as before said, he flushed, looked askance, and stammered with his saluting hand to his hat;—then anew did there burn in him the desire of procuring the pamphlet. “Cursed fate that I should have lost it”—he cried;—“more cursed, that when I did have it, and did read it, I was such a ninny as not to comprehend; and now it is all too late!”

And when—at the crucial moment of leaving his office that morning after receiving the shocking news—the face itself—the man himself—this mysterious Plotinus Plinlimmon—suddenly brushed past him in the brick hallway, all the anxiety he had ever felt about the gentle, mystical look from the tower window intensified, so that, as mentioned before, he flushed, looked sideways, and stammered while lifting his hand to his hat;—then once again, he felt a burning desire to get the pamphlet. “Damn it, why did I lose it?” he cried;—“Even worse, when I had it and read it, I was such a fool not to understand it; and now it’s all too late!”

Yet—to anticipate here—when years after, an old Jew Clothesman rummaged over a surtout of Pierre’s—which by some means had come into his hands—his lynx-like fingers happened to feel something foreign between the cloth and the heavy quilted bombazine lining. He ripped open the skirt, and found several old pamphlet pages, soft and worn almost to tissue, but still legible enough to reveal the title—“Chronometricals and Horologicals.” Pierre must have ignorantly thrust it into his pocket, in the stage, and it had worked through a rent there, and worked its way clean down into the skirt, and there helped pad the padding. So that all the time he was hunting for this pamphlet, he himself was wearing the pamphlet. When he brushed past Plinlimmon in the brick corridor, and felt that renewed intense longing for the pamphlet, then his right hand was not two inches from the pamphlet.

Yet—to anticipate here—when years later, an old Jewish tailor rummaged through a coat of Pierre’s—which had somehow come into his possession—his keen fingers happened to feel something unusual between the fabric and the heavy quilted lining. He tore open the skirt and found several old pamphlet pages, soft and worn almost to the point of tearing, but still legible enough to show the title—“Chronometricals and Horologicals.” Pierre must have carelessly stuffed it into his pocket during a performance, and it had slipped through a tear there, working its way down into the skirt, where it contributed to the padding. So all the while he was searching for this pamphlet, he had been wearing it. When he brushed past Plinlimmon in the brick corridor and felt that intense longing for the pamphlet, his right hand was not two inches away from it.

Possibly this curious circumstance may in some sort illustrate his self-supposed non-understanding of the pamphlet, as first read by him in the stage. Could he likewise have carried about with him in his mind the thorough understanding of the book, and yet not be aware that he so understood it? I think that—regarded in one light—the final career of Pierre will seem to show, that he did understand it. And here it may be randomly suggested, by way of bagatelle, whether some things that men think they do not know, are not for all that thoroughly comprehended by them; and yet, so to speak, though contained in themselves, are kept a secret from themselves? The idea of Death seems such a thing.

This curious situation might help explain his assumed confusion about the pamphlet, as he first read it on stage. Could he have carried a complete understanding of the book in his mind and still not realized that he understood it? I think that—when viewed from one angle—the ultimate journey of Pierre will suggest that he did understand it. Also, it’s worth casually pondering whether there are things that people believe they don’t know, yet they are fully understood by them; and, in a sense, though they reside within themselves, they remain a mystery to themselves? The concept of Death seems to be one of those things.

BOOK XXII.
THE FLOWER-CURTAIN LIFTED FROM BEFORE A TROPICAL AUTHOR, WITH SOME REMARKS ON THE TRANSCENDENTAL FLESH-BRUSH PHILOSOPHY.

I.

SOME days passed after the fatal tidings from the Meadows, and at length, somewhat mastering his emotions, Pierre again sits down in his chamber; for grieve how he will, yet work he must. And now day succeeds day, and week follows week, and Pierre still sits in his chamber. The long rows of cooled brick-kilns around him scarce know of the change; but from the fair fields of his great-great-great-grandfather’s manor, Summer hath flown like a swallow-guest; the perfidious wight, Autumn, hath peeped in at the groves of the maple, and under pretense of clothing them in rich russet and gold, hath stript them at last of the slightest rag, and then ran away laughing; prophetic icicles depend from the arbors round about the old manorial mansion—now locked up and abandoned; and the little, round, marble table in the viny summer-house where, of July mornings, he had sat chatting and drinking negus with his gay mother, is now spread with a shivering napkin of frost; sleety varnish hath encrusted that once gay mother’s grave, preparing it for its final cerements of wrapping snow upon snow; wild howl the winds in the woods: it is Winter. Sweet Summer is done; and Autumn is done; but the book, like the bitter winter, is yet to be finished.

Some days passed after the sad news from the Meadows, and eventually, after somewhat controlling his feelings, Pierre sat down again in his room; no matter how much he mourned, he had to keep working. Days turned into weeks, and Pierre continued to sit in his chamber. The long rows of cold brick kilns around him hardly noticed the change; but from the beautiful fields of his great-great-great-grandfather’s estate, Summer had left like a guest who quickly flew away; the deceiving Autumn peeked into the maple groves, claiming to dress them in rich red and gold, but ended up stripping them of every last leaf and then ran off laughing; icy stalactites hung from the arbors surrounding the old manor house—now locked up and deserted; and the little round marble table in the vine-covered summer house, where he had sat talking and sipping drinks with his cheerful mother on July mornings, was now covered with a shivering frost blanket; a sleety glaze had formed over his once joyful mother’s grave, getting it ready for its final layer of snow upon snow; wild winds howled through the woods: it is Winter. Sweet Summer is over; Autumn is over; but the book, like the harsh winter, is still to be completed.

That season’s wheat is long garnered, Pierre; that season’s ripe apples and grapes are in; no crop, no plant, no fruit is out; the whole harvest is done. Oh, woe to that belated winter-overtaken plant, which the summer could not bring to maturity! The drifting winter snows shall whelm it. Think, Pierre, doth not thy plant belong to some other and tropical clime? Though transplanted to northern Maine, the orange-tree of the Floridas will put forth leaves in that parsimonious summer, and show some few tokens of fruitage; yet November will find no golden globes thereon; and the passionate old lumber-man, December, shall peel the whole tree, wrench it off at the ground, and toss it for a fagot to some lime-kiln. Ah, Pierre, Pierre, make haste! make haste! force thy fruitage, lest the winter force thee.

That season's wheat is already harvested, Pierre; that season's ripe apples and grapes are in; no crop, no plant, no fruit is left; the entire harvest is done. Oh, how unfortunate for that late-blooming plant caught by winter, which summer couldn't help to mature! The drifting winter snow will bury it. Think, Pierre, doesn’t your plant belong to some other tropical climate? Even if you plant it in northern Maine, the orange tree from Florida will produce some leaves in that sparse summer and show a few signs of fruit; yet by November, there will be no golden oranges on it; and the passionate old lumberjack, December, will peel the whole tree, rip it out of the ground, and toss it into a bundle for some lime kiln. Ah, Pierre, Pierre, hurry! Hurry! Push your fruit to grow, or winter will take you down.

Watch yon little toddler, how long it is learning to stand by itself! First it shrieks and implores, and will not try to stand at all, unless both father and mother uphold it; then a little more bold, it must, at least, feel one parental hand, else again the cry and the tremble; long time is it ere by degrees this child comes to stand without any support. But, by-and-by, grown up to man’s estate, it shall leave the very mother that bore it, and the father that begot it, and cross the seas, perhaps, or settle in far Oregon lands. There now, do you see the soul. In its germ on all sides it is closely folded by the world, as the husk folds the tenderest fruit; then it is born from the world-husk, but still now outwardly clings to it;—still clamors for the support of its mother the world, and its father the Deity. But it shall yet learn to stand independent, though not without many a bitter wail, and many a miserable fall.

Look at that little toddler, learning to stand on its own! First, it cries and begs, refusing to try to stand unless both mom and dad are supporting it. Then, a little braver, it only needs one parent's hand; otherwise, it's back to crying and trembling. It takes a long time for this child to gradually learn to stand without any support. But eventually, once it grows up, it will leave the very mother who bore it and the father who raised it, maybe traveling across the seas or settling in distant Oregon. There you see the soul. In its early stages, it’s tightly surrounded by the world, just like the husk encases the softest fruit; then it is born from that world-husk but still clings to it. It continues to cry out for the support of its mother, the world, and its father, the Deity. Yet, it will eventually learn to stand on its own, though it won't be without many painful cries and difficult falls.

That hour of the life of a man when first the help of humanity fails him, and he learns that in his obscurity and indigence humanity holds him a dog and no man: that hour is a hard one, but not the hardest. There is still another hour which follows, when he learns that in his infinite comparative minuteness and abjectness, the gods do likewise despise him, and own him not of their clan. Divinity and humanity then are equally willing that he should starve in the street for all that either will do for him. Now cruel father and mother have both let go his hand, and the little soul-toddler, now you shall hear his shriek and his wail, and often his fall.

That moment in a man's life when he first feels the absence of humanity's support, and realizes that in his poverty and obscurity, humanity sees him as nothing more than a dog: that moment is tough, but it's not the toughest. There's another moment that comes after, when he realizes that in his tiny insignificance and helplessness, the gods feel the same disdain for him and don’t consider him one of their own. Both divinity and humanity are equally indifferent to whether he starves on the street or not. Now, both cruel father and mother have let go of his hand, and the little soul, now you will hear his cries and his sobs, and often witness his falls.

When at Saddle Meadows, Pierre had wavered and trembled in those first wretched hours ensuing upon the receipt of Isabel’s letter; then humanity had let go the hand of Pierre, and therefore his cry; but when at last inured to this, Pierre was seated at his book, willing that humanity should desert him, so long as he thought he felt a far higher support; then, ere long, he began to feel the utter loss of that other support, too; ay, even the paternal gods themselves did now desert Pierre; the toddler was toddling entirely alone, and not without shrieks.

When Pierre was at Saddle Meadows, he had felt uncertain and shaken during those first terrible hours after receiving Isabel’s letter. Then humanity slipped away from him, which led to his cry; but once he got used to it, Pierre found himself sitting with his book, accepting humanity’s absence as long as he believed he had a much greater support. Soon enough, though, he began to realize that he had lost that support too; even the fatherly figures had now abandoned Pierre; the toddler was completely on his own, and not without cries.

If man must wrestle, perhaps it is well that it should be on the nakedest possible plain.

If people have to struggle, maybe it's better that it happens in the most straightforward way possible.

The three chambers of Pierre at the Apostles’ were connecting ones. The first—having a little retreat where Delly slept—was used for the more exacting domestic purposes: here also their meals were taken; the second was the chamber of Isabel; the third was the closet of Pierre. In the first—the dining room, as they called it—there was a stove which boiled the water for their coffee and tea, and where Delly concocted their light repasts. This was their only fire; for, warned again and again to economize to the uttermost, Pierre did not dare to purchase any additional warmth. But by prudent management, a very little warmth may go a great way. In the present case, it went some forty feet or more. A horizontal pipe, after elbowing away from above the stove in the dining-room, pierced the partition wall, and passing straight through Isabel’s chamber, entered the closet of Pierre at one corner, and then abruptly disappeared into the wall, where all further caloric—if any—went up through the chimney into the air, to help warm the December sun. Now, the great distance of Pierre’s calorical stream from its fountain, sadly impaired it, and weakened it. It hardly had the flavor of heat. It would have had but very inconsiderable influence in raising the depressed spirits of the most mercurial thermometer; certainly it was not very elevating to the spirits of Pierre. Besides, this calorical stream, small as it was, did not flow through the room, but only entered it, to elbow right out of it, as some coquettish maidens enter the heart; moreover, it was in the furthest corner from the only place where, with a judicious view to the light, Pierre’s desk-barrels and board could advantageously stand. Often, Isabel insisted upon his having a separate stove to himself; but Pierre would not listen to such a thing. Then Isabel would offer her own room to him; saying it was of no indispensable use to her by day; she could easily spend her time in the dining-room; but Pierre would not listen to such a thing; he would not deprive her of the comfort of a continually accessible privacy; besides, he was now used to his own room, and must sit by that particular window there, and no other. Then Isabel would insist upon keeping her connecting door open while Pierre was employed at his desk, that so the heat of her room might bodily go into his; but Pierre would not listen to such a thing: because he must be religiously locked up while at work; outer love and hate must alike be excluded then. In vain Isabel said she would make not the slightest noise, and muffle the point of the very needle she used. All in vain. Pierre was inflexible here.

The three rooms of Pierre at the Apostles’ were connected. The first—where Delly slept in a little nook—was mainly for everyday domestic tasks: this is also where they had their meals. The second was Isabel's room, and the third was Pierre's closet. In the first room—the dining room, as they called it—there was a stove that boiled water for their coffee and tea, and where Delly prepared their light meals. This was their only source of heat; after being warned repeatedly to cut back on expenses, Pierre didn’t dare buy any extra warmth. However, with careful management, even a little warmth can go a long way. In this case, it reached about forty feet. A horizontal pipe, after bending away from the stove in the dining room, went through the wall, passed straight through Isabel’s room, then entered Pierre’s closet at one corner, and abruptly disappeared into the wall, where any remaining heat—if there was any—went up through the chimney into the air, helping to warm the December sun. Unfortunately, the long distance of Pierre’s heat source diminished its effectiveness and weakened it. It barely felt warm. It would have had little effect on lifting the spirits of the most sensitive thermometer; certainly, it didn’t elevate Pierre’s spirits much. Moreover, this small stream of warmth didn’t really flow through the room; it just entered briefly, then left, much like some flirty maidens who capture hearts. Additionally, it came from the furthest corner away from where, for optimal light, Pierre’s desk and supplies could be placed. Isabel often insisted that Pierre should have a separate stove for himself, but he wouldn’t entertain the idea. Then Isabel would offer her own room to him, saying it wasn’t essential during the day; she could easily spend her time in the dining room, but Pierre didn’t want to take away her comfort of having privacy whenever she needed it. Also, he was now used to his own space and needed to sit at that particular window, not another. Then Isabel would insist on keeping the connecting door open while Pierre worked at his desk so that the warmth from her room could come into his; but Pierre wouldn’t comply: he needed to be completely focused while he worked, shutting out all distractions—even love and hate. Isabel tried in vain to assure him that she wouldn’t make a sound and would even muffle the point of her needle. All in vain. Pierre was adamant about this.

Yes, he was resolved to battle it out in his own solitary closet; though a strange, transcendental conceit of one of the more erratic and non-conforming Apostles,—who was also at this time engaged upon a profound work above stairs, and who denied himself his full sufficiency of food, in order to insure an abundant fire;—the strange conceit of this Apostle, I say,—accidentally communicated to Pierre,—that, through all the kingdoms of Nature, caloric was the great universal producer and vivifyer, and could not be prudently excluded from the spot where great books were in the act of creation; and therefore, he (the Apostle) for one, was resolved to plant his head in a hot-bed of stove-warmed air, and so force his brain to germinate and blossom, and bud, and put forth the eventual, crowning, victorious flower;—though indeed this conceit rather staggered Pierre—for in truth, there was no small smack of plausible analogy in it—yet one thought of his purse would wholly expel the unwelcome intrusion, and reinforce his own previous resolve.

Yes, he was determined to fight it out in his own private space; however, a strange, transcendental idea from one of the more eccentric and nonconforming Apostles—who was also occupied with an important project upstairs and was depriving himself of enough food to ensure a steady fire—this unusual idea of the Apostle, I say, —was accidentally shared with Pierre. This idea suggested that across all the kingdoms of Nature, heat was the ultimate universal creator and life-giver, and it shouldn't be excluded from the place where great books were being created. Therefore, he (the Apostle) decided to immerse himself in a warm environment to spur his brain into developing and flourishing, ultimately producing the magnificent, victorious outcome. Though this idea did indeed confuse Pierre—because there was a fair amount of plausible reasoning in it—his thoughts about his finances quickly pushed away that unwelcome idea and reinforced his earlier determination.

However lofty and magnificent the movements of the stars; whatever celestial melodies they may thereby beget; yet the astronomers assure us that they are the most rigidly methodical of all the things that exist. No old housewife goes her daily domestic round with one millionth part the precision of the great planet Jupiter in his stated and unalterable revolutions. He has found his orbit, and stays in it; he has timed himself, and adheres to his periods. So, in some degree with Pierre, now revolving in the troubled orbit of his book.

However grand and impressive the movements of the stars are, and whatever celestial music they might create, astronomers tell us that they are the most methodical of all existing things. No old housewife goes about her daily tasks with even a tiny fraction of the precision that Jupiter shows in his consistent and unchanging revolutions. He’s found his orbit and sticks to it; he’s timed himself and follows his schedule. In a similar way, Pierre is now navigating the turbulent path of his book.

Pierre rose moderately early; and the better to inure himself to the permanent chill of his room, and to defy and beard to its face, the cruelest cold of the outer air; he would—behind the curtain—throw down the upper sash of his window; and on a square of old painted canvas, formerly wrapping some bale of goods in the neighborhood, treat his limbs, of those early December mornings, to a copious ablution, in water thickened with incipient ice. Nor, in this stoic performance, was he at all without company,—not present, but adjoiningly sympathetic; for scarce an Apostle in all those scores and scores of chambers, but undeviatingly took his daily December bath. Pierre had only to peep out of his pane and glance round the multi-windowed, inclosing walls of the quadrangle, to catch plentiful half-glimpses, all round him, of many a lean, philosophical nudity, refreshing his meager bones with crash-towel and cold water. “Quick be the play,” was their motto: “Lively our elbows, and nimble all our tenuities.” Oh, the dismal echoings of the raspings of flesh-brushes, perverted to the filing and polishing of the merest ribs! Oh, the shuddersome splashings of pails of ice-water over feverish heads, not unfamiliar with aches! Oh, the rheumatical cracklings of rusted joints, in that defied air of December! for every thick-frosted sash was down, and every lean nudity courted the zephyr!

Pierre got up fairly early; and to toughen himself against the constant chill of his room, and to confront the brutal cold of the outside air head-on, he would—behind the curtain—lower the upper sash of his window; and on a patch of old painted canvas, which had once wrapped some local goods, he would treat his limbs, on those early December mornings, to a thorough wash in water that was thickening with just-formed ice. Nor was he without company in this stoic routine—though not physically present, they were sympathetically adjacent; for hardly an Apostle among the countless rooms around him did not faithfully take his daily December bath. Pierre only had to peek out his window and look around the multi-windowed, enclosing walls of the courtyard, to catch plenty of glimpses of many a thin, philosophical nudity, refreshing their bony frames with rough towels and cold water. “Quick be the play,” was their motto: “Lively our elbows and nimble all our thinness.” Oh, the dreary echoes of flesh-brushes scraping, twisted into a filing and polishing of mere ribs! Oh, the chilling splashes of buckets of ice water over feverish heads, not unaccustomed to pain! Oh, the creaking of rusty joints, defying the December air! For each frost-covered window was shut tight, and every lean nudity welcomed the breeze!

Among all the innate, hyena-like repellants to the reception of any set form of a spiritually-minded and pure archetypical faith, there is nothing so potent in its skeptical tendencies, as that inevitable perverse ridiculousness, which so often bestreaks some of the essentially finest and noblest aspirations of those men, who disgusted with the common conventional quackeries, strive, in their clogged terrestrial humanities, after some imperfectly discerned, but heavenly ideals: ideals, not only imperfectly discerned in themselves, but the path to them so little traceable, that no two minds will entirely agree upon it.

Among all the natural, hyena-like reactions to accepting any set form of a spiritually-minded and pure archetypical faith, nothing is as powerful in its skepticism as that inevitable absurdity, which often taints some of the truly finest and noblest aspirations of those individuals who, frustrated with common conventional nonsense, reach, amidst their messy earthly lives, for some vaguely perceived but heavenly ideals: ideals that are not only vaguely understood in themselves, but whose path is so unclear that no two people will fully agree on it.

Hardly a new-light Apostle, but who, in superaddition to his revolutionary scheme for the minds and philosophies of men, entertains some insane, heterodoxical notions about the economy of his body. His soul, introduced by the gentlemanly gods, into the supernal society,—practically rejects that most sensible maxim of men of the world, who chancing to gain the friendship of any great character, never make that the ground of boring him with the supplemental acquaintance of their next friend, who perhaps, is some miserable ninny. Love me, love my dog, is only an adage for the old country-women who affectionately kiss their cows. The gods love the soul of a man; often, they will frankly accost it; but they abominate his body; and will forever cut it dead, both here and hereafter. So, if thou wouldst go to the gods, leave thy dog of a body behind thee. And most impotently thou strivest with thy purifying cold baths, and thy diligent scrubbings with flesh-brushes, to prepare it as a meet offering for their altar. Nor shall all thy Pythagorean and Shellian dietings on apple-parings, dried prunes, and crumbs of oat-meal cracker, ever fit thy body for heaven. Feed all things with food convenient for them,—that is, if the food be procurable. The food of thy soul is light and space; feed it then on light and space. But the food of thy body is champagne and oysters; feed it then on champagne and oysters; and so shall it merit a joyful resurrection, if there is any to be. Say, wouldst thou rise with a lantern jaw and a spavined knee? Rise with brawn on thee, and a most royal corporation before thee; so shalt thou in that day claim respectful attention. Know this: that while many a consumptive dietarian has but produced the merest literary flatulencies to the world; convivial authors have alike given utterance to the sublimest wisdom, and created the least gross and most ethereal forms. And for men of demonstrative muscle and action, consider that right royal epitaph which Cyrus the Great caused to be engraved on his tomb—“I could drink a great deal of wine, and it did me a great deal of good.” Ah, foolish! to think that by starving thy body, thou shalt fatten thy soul! Is yonder ox fatted because yonder lean fox starves in the winter wood? And prate not of despising thy body, while still thou flourisheth thy flesh-brush! The finest houses are most cared for within; the outer walls are freely left to the dust and the soot. Put venison in thee, and so wit shall come out of thee. It is one thing in the mill, but another in the sack.

Hardly a new-age Apostle, but who, alongside his radical ideas for the minds and philosophies of people, holds some bizarre, unorthodox beliefs about the management of his body. His soul, introduced by the gentlemanly gods, practically dismisses that common wisdom of worldly men, who, when they befriend someone great, don’t go on to bore him with the presence of their next friend, who might just be some pathetic fool. "Love me, love my dog" is just a saying for old country women who affectionately kiss their cows. The gods love a man's soul; they often approach it openly, but they despise his body and will always disregard it, both in this life and the next. So, if you want to reach the gods, leave your dog of a body behind. And you futilely struggle with your purifying cold baths and your diligent scrubbing with body brushes to prepare it as a fitting offering for their altar. Nor will all your Pythagorean and Shellian diets of apple peels, dried prunes, and oat cracker crumbs ever make your body fit for heaven. Feed everything what it needs—provided that it’s actually obtainable. The food for your soul is light and space; so feed it light and space. But the food for your body is champagne and oysters; so feed it champagne and oysters; and then it will deserve a joyful resurrection, if there is to be one. Tell me, would you rise with a lantern jaw and a worn-out knee? Rise with muscle on you and a truly royal physique before you; in that case, you will command respectful attention on that day. Understand this: while many a sickly dieter has only produced the most trivial writings in the world, convivial authors have expressed the highest wisdom and created the least crude and most ethereal forms. And for men of demonstrative strength and action, consider the royal epitaph Cyrus the Great had engraved on his tomb: "I could drink a lot of wine, and it did me a lot of good." Ah, how foolish to think that by starving your body, you will nourish your soul! Is that ox fattened because that lean fox is starving in the winter woods? And don’t speak of despising your body while you still pamper your flesh brush! The finest homes are well cared for inside; the outer walls are often left to gather dust and soot. Put some venison in you, and wisdom will come out of you. It’s one thing in the mill, but another in the sack.

Now it was the continual, quadrangular example of those forlorn fellows, the Apostles, who, in this period of his half-developments and transitions, had deluded Pierre into the Flesh-Brush Philosophy, and had almost tempted him into the Apple-Parings Dialectics. For all the long wards, corridors, and multitudinous chambers of the Apostles’ were scattered with the stems of apples, the stones of prunes, and the shells of peanuts. They went about huskily muttering the Kantian Categories through teeth and lips dry and dusty as any miller’s, with the crumbs of Graham crackers. A tumbler of cold water was the utmost welcome to their reception rooms; at the grand supposed Sanhedrim presided over by one of the deputies of Plotinus Plinlimmon, a huge jug of Adam’s Ale, and a bushel-basket of Graham crackers were the only convivials. Continually bits of cheese were dropping from their pockets, and old shiny apple parchments were ignorantly exhibited every time they drew out a manuscript to read you. Some were curious in the vintages of waters; and in three glass decanters set before you, Fairmount, Croton, and Cochituate; they held that Croton was the most potent, Fairmount a gentle tonic, and Cochituate the mildest and least inebriating of all. Take some more of the Croton, my dear sir! Be brisk with the Fairmount! Why stops that Cochituate? So on their philosophical tables went round their Port, their Sherry, and their Claret.

Now it was the constant, square example of those lost guys, the Apostles, who, during this time of his half-developments and transitions, had misled Pierre into the Flesh-Brush Philosophy and had almost tempted him into the Apple-Parings Dialectics. All through the long wards, corridors, and countless rooms of the Apostles’ place were scattered the cores of apples, the pits of prunes, and the shells of peanuts. They wandered around hoarsely mumbling the Kantian Categories with teeth and lips dry and dusty like any miller’s, with crumbs of Graham crackers. A glass of cold water was the absolute best welcome in their reception areas; at the grand so-called Sanhedrim led by one of the deputies of Plotinus Plinlimmon, a big jug of Adam’s Ale and a basket full of Graham crackers were the only refreshments. Bits of cheese kept falling from their pockets, and old shiny apple skins were carelessly shown every time they pulled out a manuscript to read to you. Some took an interest in different types of water; and in three glass decanters set in front of you, Fairmount, Croton, and Cochituate; they claimed that Croton was the strongest, Fairmount a gentle tonic, and Cochituate the mildest and least intoxicating of all. Take some more of the Croton, my dear sir! Be quick with the Fairmount! Why is that Cochituate stopping? So on their philosophical tables, their Port, Sherry, and Claret circulated.

Some, further advanced, rejected mere water in the bath, as altogether too coarse an element; and so, took to the Vapor-baths, and steamed their lean ribs every morning. The smoke which issued from their heads, and overspread their pages, was prefigured in the mists that issued from under their door-sills and out of their windows. Some could not sit down of a morning until after first applying the Vapor-bath outside and then thoroughly rinsing out their interiors with five cups of cold Croton. They were as faithfully replenished fire-buckets; and could they, standing in one cordon, have consecutively pumped themselves into each other, then the great fire of 1835 had been far less wide-spread and disastrous.

Some people, more advanced in their habits, turned their backs on plain water in the bath, considering it far too basic; instead, they opted for vapor baths and steamed their lean bodies every morning. The steam rising from their heads and filling their pages was mirrored in the mists that dripped from beneath their door sills and flowed out of their windows. Some couldn’t sit down in the morning without first using the vapor bath outside and then thoroughly rinsing themselves with five cups of cold Croton water. They were as reliable as fire buckets; if they could have lined up and pumped themselves into each other, the great fire of 1835 would have been much less widespread and devastating.

Ah! ye poor lean ones! ye wretched Soakites and Vaporites! have not your niggardly fortunes enough rinsed ye out, and wizened ye, but ye must still be dragging the hose-pipe, and throwing still more cold Croton on yourselves and the world? Ah! attach the screw of your hose-pipe to some fine old butt of Madeira! pump us some sparkling wine into the world! see, see, already, from all eternity, two-thirds of it have lain helplessly soaking!

Ah! you poor, thin ones! you miserable Soakites and Vaporites! hasn't your tight situation already drained you dry and wrinkled you up, but you still have to drag the hose and spray even more cold water on yourselves and the world? Ah! connect your hose to some fine old barrel of Madeira! pump us some sparkling wine into the world! Look, look, already, for all eternity, two-thirds of it have been helplessly soaking!


II.

WITH cheek rather pale, then, and lips rather blue, Pierre sits down to his plank.

WITH pale cheeks and somewhat blue lips, Pierre sits down on his plank.

But is Pierre packed in the mail for St. Petersburg this morning? Over his boots are his moccasins; over his ordinary coat is his surtout; and over that, a cloak of Isabel’s. Now he is squared to his plank; and at his hint, the affectionate Isabel gently pushes his chair closer to it, for he is so muffled, he can hardly move of himself. Now Delly comes in with bricks hot from the stove; and now Isabel and she with devoted solicitude pack away these comforting stones in the folds of an old blue cloak, a military garment of the grandfather of Pierre, and tenderly arrange it both over and under his feet; but putting the warm flagging beneath. Then Delly brings still another hot brick to put under his inkstand, to prevent the ink from thickening. Then Isabel drags the camp-bedstead nearer to him, on which are the two or three books he may possibly have occasion to refer to that day, with a biscuit or two, and some water, and a clean towel, and a basin. Then she leans against the plank by the elbow of Pierre, a crook-ended stick. Is Pierre a shepherd, or a bishop, or a cripple? No, but he has in effect, reduced himself to the miserable condition of the last. With the crook-ended cane, Pierre—unable to rise without sadly impairing his manifold intrenchments, and admitting the cold air into their innermost nooks,—Pierre, if in his solitude, he should chance to need any thing beyond the reach of his arm, then the crook-ended cane drags it to his immediate vicinity.

But is Pierre getting ready to be mailed off to St. Petersburg this morning? He’s wearing moccasins over his boots, a surtout over his regular coat, and Isabel’s cloak on top of that. Now he’s positioned by his board; at his suggestion, the caring Isabel gently moves his chair closer to it because he’s bundled up so much that he can barely move. Now Delly comes in with bricks straight from the stove; Isabel and she, with loving attention, wrap these warm stones in the folds of an old blue cloak—a military coat that belonged to Pierre’s grandfather—and carefully place it both over and under his feet, making sure to put the warm flagging underneath. Then Delly fetches another hot brick to put under his inkstand to keep the ink from thickening. After that, Isabel pulls the camp bed closer to him, where two or three books he might need that day sit along with a few biscuits, some water, a clean towel, and a basin. Then she leans against the board at Pierre's elbow with a crooked stick. Is Pierre a shepherd, or a bishop, or someone who can’t walk? No, he’s actually managed to reduce himself to the sad state of the last. With the crooked cane, Pierre—unable to get up without awkwardly disrupting his many layers and letting the cold air seep into their deepest parts—if he finds himself alone and needs something just out of reach, he uses the cane to drag it closer to him.

Pierre glances slowly all round him; every thing seems to be right; he looks up with a grateful, melancholy satisfaction at Isabel; a tear gathers in her eye; but she conceals it from him by coming very close to him, stooping over, and kissing his brow. ’Tis her lips that leave the warm moisture there; not her tears, she says.

Pierre looks around slowly; everything seems to be okay. He looks up at Isabel with a mix of gratitude and sadness. A tear forms in her eye, but she hides it from him by coming very close, bending down, and kissing his forehead. It's her lips that leave the warm moisture there, not her tears, she says.

“I suppose I must go now, Pierre. Now don’t, don’t be so long to-day. I will call thee at half-past four. Thou shalt not strain thine eyes in the twilight.”

“I guess I need to go now, Pierre. Please don’t take too long today. I’ll call you at half-past four. Don’t strain your eyes in the fading light.”

“We will see about that,” says Pierre, with an unobserved attempt at a very sad pun. “Come, thou must go. Leave me.”

“We'll see about that,” says Pierre, with a unnoticed attempt at a really sad pun. “Come on, you have to go. Leave me.”

And there he is left.

And there he is, alone.

Pierre is young; heaven gave him the divinest, freshest form of a man; put light into his eye, and fire into his blood, and brawn into his arm, and a joyous, jubilant, overflowing, upbubbling, universal life in him everywhere. Now look around in that most miserable room, and at that most miserable of all the pursuits of a man, and say if here be the place, and this be the trade, that God intended him for. A rickety chair, two hollow barrels, a plank, paper, pens, and infernally black ink, four leprously dingy white walls, no carpet, a cup of water, and a dry biscuit or two. Oh, I hear the leap of the Texan Camanche, as at this moment he goes crashing like a wild deer through the green underbrush; I hear his glorious whoop of savage and untamable health; and then I look in at Pierre. If physical, practical unreason make the savage, which is he? Civilization, Philosophy, Ideal Virtue! behold your victim!

Pierre is young; heaven gave him the most divine, fresh body of a man; filled his eyes with light, his blood with fire, his arms with strength, and a joyful, exuberant, overflowing, vibrant life everywhere in him. Now, look around in that miserable room, at that sad pursuit of a man, and tell me if this is the place, and this the job, that God intended for him. A rickety chair, two empty barrels, a plank, paper, pens, and terrible black ink, four grimy white walls, no carpet, a cup of water, and a couple of dry biscuits. Oh, I can hear the Texan Comanche leaping, crashing like a wild deer through the green underbrush; I hear his glorious whoop of primitive and untamed health; and then I look at Pierre. If physical, practical unreason creates the savage, which is he? Civilization, Philosophy, Ideal Virtue! behold your victim!


III.

SOME hours pass. Let us peep over the shoulder of Pierre, and see what it is he is writing there, in that most melancholy closet. Here, topping the reeking pile by his side, is the last sheet from his hand, the frenzied ink not yet entirely dry. It is much to our purpose; for in this sheet, he seems to have directly plagiarized from his own experiences, to fill out the mood of his apparent author-hero, Vivia, who thus soliloquizes: “A deep-down, unutterable mournfulness is in me. Now I drop all humorous or indifferent disguises, and all philosophical pretensions. I own myself a brother of the clod, a child of the Primeval Gloom. Hopelessness and despair are over me, as pall on pall. Away, ye chattering apes of a sophomorean Spinoza and Plato, who once didst all but delude me that the night was day, and pain only a tickle. Explain this darkness, exorcise this devil, ye can not. Tell me not, thou inconceivable coxcomb of a Goethe, that the universe can not spare thee and thy immortality, so long as—like a hired waiter—thou makest thyself ‘generally useful.’ Already the universe gets on without thee, and could still spare a million more of the same identical kidney. Corporations have no souls, and thy Pantheism, what was that? Thou wert but the pretensious, heartless part of a man. Lo! I hold thee in this hand, and thou art crushed in it like an egg from which the meat hath been sucked.”

SOME hours pass. Let's look over Pierre's shoulder and see what he's writing in that gloomy closet. Here, on top of the stinking pile beside him, is the latest page he's working on, the frantic ink not yet fully dry. It's important to us because on this page, he seems to have directly pulled from his own experiences to express the feelings of his apparent author-hero, Vivia, who reflects: “I feel a deep, indescribable sadness within me. Now I drop all humorous or indifferent facades, and all philosophical pretenses. I admit I'm just a part of the earth, a child of the Primeval Gloom. Hopelessness and despair weigh heavily on me, one layer after another. Go away, you chattering wannabes of a sophomore Spinoza and Plato, who almost fooled me into thinking night was day and pain was just a tickle. Explain this darkness, exorcise this demon, you cannot. Don’t tell me, you inconceivable know-it-all of a Goethe, that the universe can’t do without you and your immortality, as long as—you act like a hired waiter—you're ‘generally useful.’ The universe is already managing just fine without you, and could still spare a million more just like you. Corporations have no souls, and your Pantheism, what was that? You were just the pretentious, heartless part of a man. Look! I hold you in this hand, and you are crushed in it like an egg from which the insides have been sucked.”

Here is a slip from the floor.

Here is a piece of paper from the ground.

“Whence flow the panegyrical melodies that precede the march of these heroes? From what but from a sounding brass and a tinkling cymbal!”

“Where do the praise-filled melodies that come before the march of these heroes flow from? From nothing but a ringing brass and a clanging cymbal!”

And here is a second.

And here is a second.

“Cast thy eye in there on Vivia; tell me why those four limbs should be clapt in a dismal jail—day out, day in—week out, week in—month out, month in—and himself the voluntary jailer! Is this the end of philosophy? This the larger, and spiritual life? This your boasted empyrean? Is it for this that a man should grow wise, and leave off his most excellent and calumniated folly?”

“Look over there at Vivia; tell me why those four limbs should be stuck in a gloomy prison—day in, day out—week in, week out—month in, month out—and he himself the willing jailer! Is this the final outcome of philosophy? This the greater, spiritual life? This your claimed paradise? Is it for this that a man should become wise and abandon his most brilliant and misunderstood folly?”

And here is a third.

And here’s a third.

“Cast thy eye in there on Vivia; he, who in the pursuit of the highest health of virtue and truth, shows but a pallid cheek! Weigh his heart in thy hand, oh, thou gold-laced, virtuoso Goethe! and tell me whether it does not exceed thy standard weight!”

“Look over there at Vivia; he, who in the quest for the highest health of virtue and truth, shows such a pale face! Measure his heart in your hand, oh, you gold-laced virtuoso Goethe! and tell me if it doesn’t surpass your standard weight!”

And here is a fourth.

And here’s a fourth.

“Oh God, that man should spoil and rust on the stalk, and be wilted and threshed ere the harvest hath come! And oh God, that men that call themselves men should still insist on a laugh! I hate the world, and could trample all lungs of mankind as grapes, and heel them out of their breath, to think of the woe and the cant,—to think of the Truth and the Lie! Oh! blessed be the twenty-first day of December, and cursed be the twenty-first day of June!”

“Oh God, how tragic it is that a person should decay and wither before the harvest has even arrived! And oh God, that those who call themselves men still cling to laughter! I despise the world and could crush all of humanity as if they were grapes, stomping out their breath, just thinking about the misery and the hypocrisy—thinking about the Truth and the Lie! Oh! Blessed be the twenty-first of December, and cursed be the twenty-first of June!”

From these random slips, it would seem, that Pierre is quite conscious of much that is so anomalously hard and bitter in his lot, of much that is so black and terrific in his soul. Yet that knowing his fatal condition does not one whit enable him to change or better his condition. Conclusive proof that he has no power over his condition. For in tremendous extremities human souls are like drowning men; well enough they know they are in peril; well enough they know the causes of that peril;—nevertheless, the sea is the sea, and these drowning men do drown.

From these random slips, it seems that Pierre is very aware of how difficult and bitter his situation is, and of the dark and terrible things within his soul. However, knowing his dire situation doesn’t help him change or improve it. This clearly shows that he has no control over his circumstances. In extreme situations, human souls are like drowning people; they know they’re in danger and understand the reasons behind that danger, yet the sea remains the sea, and these drowning people still drown.


IV.

FROM eight o’clock in the morning till half-past four in the evening, Pierre sits there in his room;—eight hours and a half!

FROM eight in the morning until four-thirty in the afternoon, Pierre sits in his room;—eight and a half hours!

From throbbing neck-bands, and swinging belly-bands of gay-hearted horses, the sleigh-bells chimingly jingle;—but Pierre sits there in his room; Thanksgiving comes, with its glad thanks, and crisp turkeys;—but Pierre sits there in his room; soft through the snows, on tinted Indian moccasin, Merry Christmas comes stealing;—but Pierre sits there in his room; it is New-Year’s, and like a great flagon, the vast city overbrims at all curb-stones, wharves, and piers, with bubbling jubilations;—but Pierre sits there in his room:—Nor jingling sleigh-bells at throbbing neck-band, or swinging belly-band; nor glad thanks, and crisp turkeys of Thanksgiving; nor tinted Indian moccasin of Merry Christmas softly stealing through the snows; nor New-Year’s curb-stones, wharves, and piers, over-brimming with bubbling jubilations:—Nor jingling sleigh-bells, nor glad Thanksgiving, nor Merry Christmas, nor jubilating New Year’s:—Nor Bell, Thank, Christ, Year;—none of these are for Pierre. In the midst of the merriments of the mutations of Time, Pierre hath ringed himself in with the grief of Eternity. Pierre is a peak inflexible in the heart of Time, as the isle-peak, Piko, stands unassaultable in the midst of waves.

From the jingling bells of lively horses to the festive songs, Thanksgiving arrives with its joyful gratitude and delicious turkeys;—but Pierre sits alone in his room. Softly, through the snow, Merry Christmas sneaks in on colorful Indian moccasins;—but Pierre sits there in his room. It’s New Year’s, and the vast city overflows with celebrations at every corner, dock, and pier;—but Pierre sits there in his room:—Neither the jingling bells of lively horses nor the joyful thanks and delicious turkeys of Thanksgiving; nor the colorful Indian moccasins of Merry Christmas gently gliding through the snow; nor the overflowing celebrations at New Year’s curb-stones, docks, and piers:—Neither the jingling bells, nor the joyful Thanksgiving, nor the Merry Christmas, nor the festive New Year’s:—None of these belong to Pierre. Amid the joyful changes of time, Pierre has surrounded himself with the sorrow of eternity. Pierre is an unwavering peak in the heart of time, much like the peak of Piko, standing unyielding amidst the waves.

He will not be called to; he will not be stirred. Sometimes the intent ear of Isabel in the next room, overhears the alternate silence, and then the long lonely scratch of his pen. It is, as if she heard the busy claw of some midnight mole in the ground. Sometimes, she hears a low cough, and sometimes the scrape of his crook-handled cane.

He won't be called; he won't be disturbed. Sometimes, Isabel in the next room listens to the silence, and then the long, lonely scratch of his pen. It's as if she hears the busy claw of some midnight mole digging in the ground. Sometimes, she hears a quiet cough, and sometimes the scrape of his crooked cane.

Here surely is a wonderful stillness of eight hours and a half, repeated day after day. In the heart of such silence, surely something is at work. Is it creation, or destruction? Builds Pierre the noble world of a new book? or does the Pale Haggardness unbuild the lungs and the life in him?—Unutterable, that a man should be thus!

Here is definitely a fantastic calm of eight and a half hours, repeated day after day. In the middle of such silence, something must be happening. Is it creation or destruction? Does Pierre build the noble world of a new book? Or does the Pale Haggardness tear down the lungs and life within him?—It’s unimaginable that someone could be like this!

When in the meridian flush of the day, we recall the black apex of night; then night seems impossible; this sun can never go down. Oh that the memory of the uttermost gloom as an already tasted thing to the dregs, should be no security against its return. One may be passibly well one day, but the next, he may sup at black broth with Pluto.

When the sun is at its peak during the day, we remember the darkest part of the night; it feels like night could never happen again; this sun will never set. Oh, how the memory of deep darkness, something we've already experienced thoroughly, offers no guarantee that it won’t come back. One day you might feel okay, but the next, you could be sitting down to a dark meal with Pluto.

Is there then all this work to one book, which shall be read in a very few hours; and, far more frequently, utterly skipped in one second; and which, in the end, whatever it be, must undoubtedly go to the worms?

Is it really worth all this effort for a book that can be read in just a few hours, and more often than not, completely ignored in a second? Ultimately, no matter what it is, it’s definitely going to end up in the ground.

Not so; that which now absorbs the time and the life of Pierre, is not the book, but the primitive elementalizing of the strange stuff, which in the act of attempting that book, have upheaved and upgushed in his soul. Two books are being writ; of which the world shall only see one, and that the bungled one. The larger book, and the infinitely better, is for Pierre’s own private shelf. That it is, whose unfathomable cravings drink his blood; the other only demands his ink. But circumstances have so decreed, that the one can not be composed on the paper, but only as the other is writ down in his soul. And the one of the soul is elephantinely sluggish, and will not budge at a breath. Thus Pierre is fastened on by two leeches;—how then can the life of Pierre last? Lo! he is fitting himself for the highest life, by thinning his blood and collapsing his heart. He is learning how to live, by rehearsing the part of death.

Not so; what currently consumes Pierre's time and life is not the book itself, but the raw, primal energy unleashed within him as he tries to write that book. Two books are being created; the world will only see one, and it will be the flawed version. The bigger, far superior book is meant for Pierre's private collection. It’s the one with insatiable desires that drain him; the other just asks for his ink. Yet circumstances have decided that one can’t be written down on paper, only the other can be, and that’s what’s in his soul. The one in his soul is incredibly heavy and won’t move with the slightest effort. So Pierre is gripped by two burdens; how can he possibly sustain his life? Look! He’s preparing for a greater existence by draining his blood and breaking his heart. He’s learning how to live by practicing the role of death.

Who shall tell all the thoughts and feelings of Pierre in that desolate and shivering room, when at last the idea obtruded, that the wiser and the profounder he should grow, the more and the more he lessened the chances for bread; that could he now hurl his deep book out of the window, and fall to on some shallow nothing of a novel, composable in a month at the longest, then could he reasonably hope for both appreciation and cash. But the devouring profundities, now opened up in him, consume all his vigor; would he, he could not now be entertainingly and profitably shallow in some pellucid and merry romance. Now he sees, that with every accession of the personal divine to him, some great land-slide of the general surrounding divineness slips from him, and falls crashing away. Said I not that the gods, as well as mankind, had unhanded themselves from this Pierre? So now in him you behold the baby toddler I spoke of; forced now to stand and toddle alone.

Who can describe all the thoughts and feelings Pierre experienced in that bleak, cold room when he finally realized that the wiser and deeper he became, the more he reduced his chances of making a living? If he could just throw his serious book out the window and instead focus on writing a shallow, forgettable novel that could be finished in a month, he could realistically hope for both recognition and money. But the intense depth now emerging within him drains all his energy; he couldn’t be amusingly and profitably shallow while writing a light and cheerful romance. Now he understands that with each new personal insight he gains, he loses a significant piece of the general brilliance surrounding him. Didn’t I mention that both the gods and humanity have distanced themselves from this Pierre? So now you see in him the baby toddler I mentioned earlier, forced to stand and walk on his own.

Now and then he turns to the camp-bed, and wetting his towel in the basin, presses it against his brow. Now he leans back in his chair, as if to give up; but again bends over and plods.

Now and then he shifts to the camp bed, dampens his towel in the basin, and presses it against his forehead. Now he leans back in his chair, as if ready to give up; but then he leans forward again and keeps at it.

Twilight draws on, the summons of Isabel is heard from the door; the poor, frozen, blue-lipped, soul-shivering traveler for St. Petersburg is unpacked; and for a moment stands toddling on the floor. Then his hat, and his cane, and out he sallies for fresh air. A most comfortless staggering of a stroll! People gaze at him passing, as at some imprudent sick man, willfully burst from his bed. If an acquaintance is met, and would say a pleasant newsmonger’s word in his ear, that acquaintance turns from him, affronted at his hard aspect of icy discourtesy. “Bad-hearted,” mutters the man, and goes on.

Twilight sets in, and Isabel's call comes from the door; the poor, frozen traveler heading to St. Petersburg is unpacked and for a moment stands unsteadily on the floor. Then he grabs his hat and cane and steps out for some fresh air. It's a truly uncomfortable, unsteady walk! People stare at him as he passes by, like they're looking at some reckless sick person who has forced himself out of bed. If he runs into someone he knows who might want to share some cheerful news, that person turns away, put off by his cold, unwelcoming demeanor. "What a jerk," the person mutters as they move on.

He comes back to his chambers, and sits down at the neat table of Delly; and Isabel soothingly eyes him, and presses him to eat and be strong. But his is the famishing which loathes all food. He can not eat but by force. He has assassinated the natural day; how then can he eat with an appetite? If he lays him down, he can not sleep; he has waked the infinite wakefulness in him; then how can he slumber? Still his book, like a vast lumbering planet, revolves in his aching head. He can not command the thing out of its orbit; fain would he behead himself, to gain one night’s repose. At last the heavy hours move on; and sheer exhaustion overtakes him, and he lies still—not asleep as children and day-laborers sleep—but he lies still from his throbbings, and for that interval holdingly sheaths the beak of the vulture in his hand, and lets it not enter his heart.

He returns to his room and sits down at Delly's tidy table. Isabel looks at him with concern and encourages him to eat and regain his strength. But he feels famished in a way that makes him hate food. He can only eat if he forces himself. He has killed the natural day; how can he have an appetite now? If he tries to lie down, he can't sleep; he has awakened an endless restlessness within him, so how can he find peace? Yet his book, like a massive, slow-moving planet, spins in his aching head. He can't push it out of its orbit; he wishes he could cut off his own head for just one night of rest. Finally, the long hours pass, and sheer exhaustion takes over; he lies still—not asleep like children or laborers—but lies still because of his racing thoughts, and for a moment, he manages to keep the vulture's claws from piercing his heart.

Morning comes; again the dropt sash, the icy water, the flesh-brush, the breakfast, the hot bricks, the ink, the pen, the from-eight-o’clock-to-half-past-four, and the whole general inclusive hell of the same departed day.

Morning arrives; once more the dropped window, the cold water, the body brush, the breakfast, the hot bricks, the ink, the pen, the from-eight-o’clock-to-half-past-four, and the entire overwhelming monotony of the same lost day.

Ah! shivering thus day after day in his wrappers and cloaks, is this the warm lad that once sung to the world of the Tropical Summer?

Ah! shivering like this day after day in his wraps and coats, is this the warm guy who once sang to the world about the Tropical Summer?

BOOK XXIII.
A LETTER FOR PIERRE. ISABEL. ARRIVAL OF LUCY’S EASEL AND TRUNKS AT THE APOSTLES’.

I.

IF a frontier man be seized by wild Indians, and carried far and deep into the wilderness, and there held a captive, with no slightest probability of eventual deliverance; then the wisest thing for that man is to exclude from his memory by every possible method, the least images of those beloved objects now forever reft from him. For the more delicious they were to him in the now departed possession, so much the more agonizing shall they be in the present recalling. And though a strong man may sometimes succeed in strangling such tormenting memories; yet, if in the beginning permitted to encroach upon him unchecked, the same man shall, in the end, become as an idiot. With a continent and an ocean between him and his wife—thus sundered from her, by whatever imperative cause, for a term of long years;—the husband, if passionately devoted to her, and by nature broodingly sensitive of soul, is wise to forget her till he embrace her again;—is wise never to remember her if he hear of her death. And though such complete suicidal forgettings prove practically impossible, yet is it the shallow and ostentatious affections alone which are bustling in the offices of obituarian memories. The love deep as death—what mean those five words, but that such love can not live, and be continually remembering that the loved one is no more? If it be thus then in cases where entire unremorsefulness as regards the beloved absent objects is presumed, how much more intolerable, when the knowledge of their hopeless wretchedness occurs, attended by the visitations of before latent upbraidings in the rememberer as having been any way—even unwillingly—the producers of their sufferings. There seems no other sane recourse for some moody organizations on whom such things, under such circumstances intrude, but right and left to flee them, whatever betide.

If a frontiersman is captured by wild Indians and taken deep into the wilderness, becoming a captive with no chance of escape, the smartest thing for him to do is to push out of his mind any memories of those beloved people he will never see again. The more precious those memories were to him in the past, the more painful they will be to recall now. Even if a strong man manages to suppress such tormenting memories, if he initially allows them to invade his thoughts freely, he will eventually become like a fool. With a continent and an ocean between him and his wife—separated from her for many years by whatever unavoidable reason—if the husband is deeply devoted to her and naturally sensitive, it is wise for him to forget her until he can hold her again; it’s wise never to think of her if he hears she has died. Although such complete and self-destructive forgetfulness proves nearly impossible, it is only the shallow and showy attachments that are busy in the realm of memories of the deceased. What do the words “the love deep as death” mean, if not that such a love cannot live and continue remembering that the loved one is gone? If this is the case where total indifference to the absent beloved is assumed, how much more unbearable is it when one is aware of their hopeless suffering, accompanied by the earlier nagging feelings of guilt for having been, in any way—even unintentionally—the cause of their pain? There seems to be no other rational option for some sensitive individuals faced with such circumstances than to escape them, no matter the cost.

If little or nothing hitherto has been said of Lucy Tartan in reference to the condition of Pierre after his departure from the Meadows, it has only been because her image did not willingly occupy his soul. He had striven his utmost to banish it thence; and only once—on receiving the tidings of Glen’s renewed attentions—did he remit the intensity of those strivings, or rather feel them, as impotent in him in that hour of his manifold and overwhelming prostration.

If not much has been said about Lucy Tartan in relation to Pierre's condition after he left the Meadows, it's simply because her image didn't easily fit into his mind. He had done everything he could to push it away; and only once—when he heard about Glen's renewed interest—did he ease up on those efforts, or rather feel them as ineffective at that moment of his many overwhelming struggles.

Not that the pale form of Lucy, swooning on her snow-white bed; not that the inexpressible anguish of the shriek—“My heart! my heart!” would not now at times force themselves upon him, and cause his whole being to thrill with a nameless horror and terror. But the very thrillingness of the phantom made him to shun it, with all remaining might of his spirit.

Not that the pale figure of Lucy, fainting on her white bed; not that the indescribable anguish of the scream—“My heart! my heart!” wouldn’t sometimes overwhelm him, causing his entire being to shiver with a nameless dread and fear. But the sheer intensity of the phantom made him avoid it, with all the remaining strength of his spirit.

Nor were there wanting still other, and far more wonderful, though but dimly conscious influences in the breast of Pierre, to meet as repellants the imploring form. Not to speak of his being devoured by the all-exacting theme of his book, there were sinister preoccupations in him of a still subtler and more fearful sort, of which some inklings have already been given.

Nor were there lacking other, even more amazing influences in Pierre's heart, faintly felt yet strong enough to push away the pleading figure. Besides being consumed by the demanding subject of his book, he was also haunted by darker thoughts that were even more subtle and terrifying, some hints of which have already been mentioned.

It was while seated solitary in his room one morning; his flagging faculties seeking a momentary respite; his head sideways turned toward the naked floor, following the seams in it, which, as wires, led straight from where he sat to the connecting door, and disappeared beneath it into the chamber of Isabel; that he started at a tap at that very door, followed by the wonted, low, sweet voice,—

It was one morning while sitting alone in his room, feeling mentally drained and in need of a break; he had his head tilted to the side, staring at the bare floor and tracing the seams, which, like wires, led straight from where he sat to the door connecting to Isabel's room, disappearing underneath it. Suddenly, he was jolted by a knock on that very door, followed by the familiar, soft voice,—

“Pierre! a letter for thee—dost thou hear? a letter,—may I come in?”

“Pierre! I have a letter for you—do you hear me? A letter—can I come in?”

At once he felt a dart of surprise and apprehension; for he was precisely in that general condition with respect to the outer world, that he could not reasonably look for any tidings but disastrous, or at least, unwelcome ones. He assented; and Isabel entered, holding out the billet in her hand.

At that moment, he felt a jolt of surprise and worry; he was in such a state regarding the outside world that he realistically couldn’t expect any news other than bad, or at least, unwanted ones. He agreed, and Isabel walked in, holding out the note in her hand.

“’Tis from some lady, Pierre; who can it be?—not thy mother though, of that I am certain;—the expression of her face, as seen by me, not at all answering to the expression of this handwriting here.”

“It's from some lady, Pierre; who could it be?—definitely not your mother, that I'm sure of;—the look on her face, as I saw it, doesn’t match the tone of this handwriting here.”

“My mother? from my mother?” muttered Pierre, in wild vacancy—“no! no! it can scarce be from her.—Oh, she writes no more, even in her own private tablets now! Death hath stolen the last leaf, and rubbed all out, to scribble his own ineffaceable hic jacet there!”

“My mother? From my mother?” Pierre muttered, staring blankly—“no! no! It can't be from her. Oh, she doesn't write anymore, not even in her private journals! Death has taken the last page and erased everything to scribble his own permanent hic jacet there!”

“Pierre!” cried Isabel, in affright.

“Pierre!” cried Isabel, in shock.

“Give it me!” he shouted, vehemently, extending his hand. “Forgive me, sweet, sweet Isabel, I have wandered in my mind; this book makes me mad. There; I have it now”—in a tone of indifference—“now, leave me again. It is from some pretty aunt, or cousin, I suppose,” carelessly balancing the letter in his hand.

“Give it to me!” he shouted, passionately, reaching out his hand. “Forgive me, sweet, sweet Isabel, I've been lost in my thoughts; this book drives me crazy. There; I have it now”—with a tone of indifference—“now, leave me alone. It’s from some nice aunt or cousin, I guess,” he said, casually balancing the letter in his hand.

Isabel quitted the room; the moment the door closed upon her, Pierre eagerly split open the letter, and read:—

Isabel left the room; the moment the door closed behind her, Pierre eagerly tore open the letter and read:—


II.

“This morning I vowed it, my own dearest, dearest Pierre I feel stronger to-day; for to-day I have still more thought of thine own superhuman, angelical strength; which so, has a very little been transferred to me. Oh, Pierre, Pierre, with what words shall I write thee now;—now, when still knowing nothing, yet something of thy secret I, as a seer, suspect. Grief,—deep, unspeakable grief, hath made me this seer. I could murder myself, Pierre, when I think of my previous blindness; but that only came from my swoon. It was horrible and most murdersome; but now I see thou wert right in being so instantaneous with me, and in never afterward writing to me, Pierre; yes, now I see it, and adore thee the more.

“This morning I made a vow, my own dearest Pierre. I feel stronger today; for today I have even more thoughts of your incredible, angelic strength, which has been transferred to me just a little. Oh, Pierre, Pierre, how shall I write to you now;—now, when I still know nothing, yet suspect something of your secret, like a seer. Grief—deep, indescribable grief—has made me this seer. I could just cry for myself, Pierre, when I think of my past ignorance; but that only came from my fainting. It was horrible and almost deadly; but now I see you were right to be so quick with me and to never write to me afterward, Pierre; yes, now I see it, and I admire you even more.”

“Ah! thou too noble and angelical Pierre, now I feel that a being like thee, can possibly have no love as other men love; but thou lovest as angels do; not for thyself, but wholly for others. But still are we one, Pierre; thou art sacrificing thyself, and I hasten to re-tie myself to thee, that so I may catch thy fire, and all the ardent multitudinous arms of our common flames may embrace. I will ask of thee nothing, Pierre; thou shalt tell me no secret. Very right wert thou, Pierre, when, in that ride to the hills, thou wouldst not swear the fond, foolish oath I demanded. Very right, very right; now I see it.

“Ah! you too noble and angelic Pierre, now I realize that a being like you can’t possibly love like other men do; you love as angels do; not for yourself, but entirely for others. But still, we are one, Pierre; you’re sacrificing yourself, and I’m eager to reconnect with you, so I can catch your fire and let the passionate, countless arms of our shared flames embrace. I won’t ask anything of you, Pierre; you don’t have to share any secrets with me. You were completely right, Pierre, when, during that ride to the hills, you refused to make the silly oath I wanted. You were right, very right; now I understand it.

“If then I solemnly vow, never to seek from thee any slightest thing which thou wouldst not willingly have me know; if ever I, in all outward actions, shall recognize, just as thou dost, the peculiar position of that mysterious, and ever-sacred being;—then, may I not come and live with thee? I will be no encumbrance to thee. I know just where thou art, and how thou art living; and only just there, Pierre, and only just so, is any further life endurable, or possible for me. She will never know—for thus far I am sure thou thyself hast never disclosed it to her what I once was to thee. Let it seem, as though I were some nun-like cousin immovably vowed to dwell with thee in thy strange exile. Show not to me,—never show more any visible conscious token of love. I will never to thee. Our mortal lives, oh, my heavenly Pierre, shall henceforth be one mute wooing of each other; with no declaration; no bridal; till we meet in the pure realms of God’s final blessedness for us;—till we meet where the ever-interrupting and ever-marring world can not and shall not come; where all thy hidden, glorious unselfishness shall be gloriously revealed in the full splendor of that heavenly light; where, no more forced to these cruelest disguises, she, she too shall assume her own glorious place, nor take it hard, but rather feel the more blessed, when, there, thy sweet heart, shall be openly and unreservedly mine. Pierre, Pierre, my Pierre!—only this thought, this hope, this sublime faith now supports me. Well was it, that the swoon, in which thou didst leave me, that long eternity ago—well was it, dear Pierre, that though I came out of it to stare and grope, yet it was only to stare and grope, and then I swooned again, and then groped again, and then again swooned. But all this was vacancy; little I clutched; nothing I knew; ’twas less than a dream, my Pierre, I had no conscious thought of thee, love; but felt an utter blank, a vacancy;—for wert thou not then utterly gone from me? and what could there then be left of poor Lucy?—But now, this long, long swoon is past; I come out again into life and light; but how could I come out, how could I any way be, my Pierre, if not in thee? So the moment I came out of the long, long swoon, straightway came to me the immortal faith in thee, which though it could offer no one slightest possible argument of mere sense in thy behalf, yet was it only the more mysteriously imperative for that, my Pierre. Know then, dearest Pierre, that with every most glaring earthly reason to disbelieve in thy love; I do yet wholly give myself up to the unshakable belief in it. For I feel, that always is love love, and can not know change, Pierre; I feel that heaven hath called me to a wonderful office toward thee. By throwing me into that long, long swoon,—during which, Martha tells me, I hardly ate altogether, three ordinary meals,—by that, heaven, I feel now, was preparing me for the superhuman office I speak of; was wholly estranging me from this earth, even while I yet lingered in it; was fitting me for a celestial mission in terrestrial elements. Oh, give to me of thine own dear strength! I am but a poor weak girl, dear Pierre; one that didst once love thee but too fondly, and with earthly frailty. But now I shall be wafted far upward from that; shall soar up to thee, where thou sittest in thine own calm, sublime heaven of heroism.

“If I solemnly vow never to seek from you anything you wouldn’t willingly have me know; if I ever, in all my actions, acknowledge, just like you do, the unique position of that mysterious and sacred being—then may I come and live with you? I won’t be a burden to you. I know exactly where you are and how you’re living; and it’s only there, Pierre, and only like that, that any further life is bearable or possible for me. She will never know—because so far I’m sure you’ve never disclosed it to her what I once was to you. Let it seem as though I’m some nun-like cousin permanently vowed to be with you in your strange exile. Don’t show me—never show any visible sign of love. I won’t to you. Our mortal lives, oh, my heavenly Pierre, will henceforth be one quiet wooing of each other; with no declarations, no weddings; until we meet in the pure realms of God’s final blessedness for us;—until we meet where the ever-interrupting and ever-marring world can’t and won’t come; where all your hidden, glorious selflessness will be beautifully revealed in the full splendor of that heavenly light; where, no longer forced into these cruel disguises, she, she too will take her own glorious place, not take it hard, but feel even more blessed when, there, your sweet heart will be openly and completely mine. Pierre, Pierre, my Pierre!—only this thought, this hope, this sublime faith now supports me. It was good that the swoon, in which you left me, that long eternity ago—it was good, dear Pierre, that although I came out of it to stare and grope, I only stared and groped, then swooned again, and then groped again, and then swooned again. But all this was emptiness; I grasped little; I knew nothing; it was less than a dream, my Pierre, I had no conscious thought of you, love; but felt a complete blank, an emptiness;—for were you not then entirely gone from me?—and what could be left of poor Lucy?—But now, this long, long swoon is over; I return to life and light; but how could I return, how could I be, my Pierre, if not in you? So as soon as I emerged from the long, long swoon, immediately came to me the immortal faith in you, which, though it offered no logical argument in your favor, was even more mysteriously compelling because of it, my Pierre. Know then, dearest Pierre, that despite every glaring earthly reason to doubt your love; I still completely surrender myself to the unshakable belief in it. For I feel that love is always love, and cannot know change, Pierre; I feel that heaven has called me to a wonderful purpose toward you. By casting me into that long, long swoon—during which, Martha tells me, I hardly had three regular meals in total—through that, heaven, I now feel, was preparing me for the superhuman role I speak of; was entirely distancing me from this earth, even while I lingered in it; was getting me ready for a celestial mission in earthly elements. Oh, give me some of your dear strength! I’m just a poor weak girl, dear Pierre; one who once loved you far too fondly, with earthly frailty. But now I will be lifted far above that; I will soar up to you, where you sit in your own calm, sublime heaven of heroism."

“Oh seek not to dissuade me, Pierre. Wouldst thou slay me, and slay me a million times more? and never have done with murdering me? I must come! I must come! God himself can not stay me, for it is He that commands me.—I know all that will follow my flight to thee;—my amazed mother, my enraged brothers, the whole taunting and despising world.—But thou art my mother and my brothers, and all the world, and all heaven, and all the universe to me—thou art my Pierre. One only being does this soul in me serve—and that is thee, Pierre.—So I am coming to thee, Pierre, and quickly;—to-morrow it shall be, and never more will I quit thee, Pierre. Speak thou immediately to her about me; thou shalt know best what to say. Is there not some connection between our families, Pierre? I have heard my mother sometimes trace such a thing out,—some indirect cousinship. If thou approvest then, thou shalt say to her, I am thy cousin, Pierre;—thy resolved and immovable nun-like cousin; vowed to dwell with thee forever; to serve thee and her, to guard thee and her without end. Prepare some little corner for me somewhere; but let it be very near. Ere I come, I shall send a few little things,—the tools I shall work by, Pierre, and so contribute to the welfare of all. Look for me then. I am coming! I am coming, my Pierre; for a deep, deep voice assures me, that all noble as thou art, Pierre, some terrible jeopardy involves thee, which my continual presence only can drive away. I am coming! I am coming!”

“Oh, don’t try to talk me out of this, Pierre. Would you kill me? And kill me a million times more? And never stop murdering me? I have to come! I have to come! Not even God can hold me back, because it’s Him that commands me. I know everything that will happen when I run to you—my shocked mother, my furious brothers, the whole mocking and disdainful world. But you are my mother and my brothers, and the whole world, and all of heaven, and the entire universe to me—you are my Pierre. There is only one person my soul serves—and that’s you, Pierre. So I am coming to you, Pierre, and quickly; it will be tomorrow, and I will never leave you again, Pierre. Talk to her about me right away; you’ll know what to say. Isn’t there some connection between our families, Pierre? I’ve heard my mother mention something about it before—some sort of distant cousinship. If you agree, then tell her I’m your cousin, Pierre; your determined and steadfast cousin, vowed to be with you forever; to serve you and her, to protect you and her without end. Prepare a little space for me somewhere; but let it be very close. Before I arrive, I’ll send a few things—the tools I’ll use, Pierre, so I can help everyone’s well-being. So look for me. I’m coming! I’m coming, my Pierre; for a deep, deep voice tells me that despite how noble you are, Pierre, there’s some terrible danger that only my constant presence can drive away. I’m coming! I’m coming!”

LUCY.

LUCY.


III.

WHEN surrounded by the base and mercenary crew, man, too long wonted to eye his race with a suspicious disdain, suddenly is brushed by some angelical plume of humanity, and the human accents of superhuman love, and the human eyes of superhuman beauty and glory, suddenly burst on his being; then how wonderful and fearful the shock! It is as if the sky-cope were rent, and from the black valley of Jehoshaphat, he caught upper glimpses of the seraphim in the visible act of adoring.

When surrounded by the rough and mercenary crew, a man, who has long been used to looking at his own kind with a distrustful contempt, is suddenly touched by some heavenly essence of humanity. The human voices filled with extraordinary love and the human faces radiating unparalleled beauty and glory break through his existence; then how amazing and terrifying that jolt is! It’s as if the sky were torn open, and from the dark valley of Jehoshaphat, he catches glimpses of the seraphim in the very act of worshiping.

He held the artless, angelical letter in his unrealizing hand; he started, and gazed round his room, and out at the window, commanding the bare, desolate, all-forbidding quadrangle, and then asked himself whether this was the place that an angel should choose for its visit to earth. Then he felt a vast, out-swelling triumphantness, that the girl whose rare merits his intuitive soul had once so clearly and passionately discerned, should indeed, in this most tremendous of all trials, have acquitted herself with such infinite majesty. Then again, he sunk utterly down from her, as in a bottomless gulf, and ran shuddering through hideous galleries of despair, in pursuit of some vague, white shape, and lo! two unfathomable dark eyes met his, and Isabel stood mutely and mournfully, yet all-ravishingly before him.

He held the simple, beautiful letter in his unaware hand; he jumped and looked around his room, then out the window, surveying the bare, desolate, intimidating courtyard, and then asked himself if this was the place an angel would choose to visit Earth. Then he felt an immense, overwhelming sense of triumph that the girl whose rare qualities his instinctive soul had once understood so clearly and passionately, should indeed, in this greatest of all trials, have carried herself with such infinite grace. But then, he fell completely away from her, as if into a bottomless pit, and ran trembling through terrifying hallways of despair, chasing some vague, white figure, and suddenly! two deep, dark eyes met his, and Isabel stood silently and sadly, yet utterly captivating before him.

He started up from his plank; cast off his manifold wrappings, and crossed the floor to remove himself from the spot, where such sweet, such sublime, such terrific revelations had been made him.

He jumped up from his spot, took off his many layers, and walked across the room to get away from the place, where such sweet, such amazing, and such intense revelations had been shared with him.

Then a timid little rap was heard at the door.

Then a soft knock was heard at the door.

“Pierre, Pierre; now that thou art risen, may I not come in—just for a moment, Pierre.”

“Pierre, Pierre; now that you’re awake, can I come in—just for a moment, Pierre.”

“Come in, Isabel.”

“Come on in, Isabel.”

She was approaching him in her wonted most strange and sweetly mournful manner, when he retreated a step from her, and held out his arm, not seemingly to invite, but rather as if to warn.

She was walking toward him in her usual strange and sweetly sad way when he took a step back from her and held out his arm, not as if to invite her in, but more like a warning.

She looked fixedly in his face, and stood rooted.

She stared at his face and stood still.

“Isabel, another is coming to me. Thou dost not speak, Isabel. She is coming to dwell with us so long as we live, Isabel. Wilt thou not speak?”

“Isabel, someone else is coming to me. You aren't speaking, Isabel. She is coming to live with us for as long as we live, Isabel. Won't you say something?”

The girl still stood rooted; the eyes, which she had first fixed on him, still remained wide-openly riveted.

The girl still stood frozen; her eyes, which she had initially locked onto him, remained wide open and focused.

“Wilt thou not speak, Isabel?” said Pierre, terrified at her frozen, immovable aspect, yet too terrified to manifest his own terror to her; and still coming slowly near her. She slightly raised one arm, as if to grasp some support; then turned her head slowly sideways toward the door by which she had entered; then her dry lips slowly parted—“My bed; lay me; lay me!”

“Will you not speak, Isabel?” said Pierre, frightened by her frozen, unmoving demeanor, yet too scared to show his own fear to her; and he continued to approach her slowly. She lifted one arm slightly, as if to find some support; then she turned her head slowly to the side toward the door she had come through; then her dry lips parted slowly—“My bed; lay me; lay me!”

The verbal effort broke her stiffening enchantment of frost; her thawed form sloped sidelong into the air; but Pierre caught her, and bore her into her own chamber, and laid her there on the bed.

The effort to speak broke her rigid enchantment of frost; her thawed body slumped sideways into the air; but Pierre caught her and carried her into her room, laying her down on the bed.

“Fan me; fan me!”

"Fan me, please!"

He fanned the fainting flame of her life; by-and-by she turned slowly toward him.

He revived the flickering flame of her life; eventually, she slowly turned toward him.

“Oh! that feminine word from thy mouth, dear Pierre:—that she, that she!”

“Oh! that feminine word from your mouth, dear Pierre:—that she, that she!”

Pierre sat silent, fanning her.

Pierre sat quietly, fanning her.

“Oh, I want none in the world but thee, my brother—but thee, but thee! and, oh God! am I not enough for thee? Bare earth with my brother were all heaven for me; but all my life, all my full soul, contents not my brother.”

“Oh, I want nothing in the world but you, my brother—but you, but you! And, oh God! Am I not enough for you? Just bare earth with my brother would be all the heaven I need; but all my life, all my full soul isn’t enough for my brother.”

Pierre spoke not; he but listened; a terrible, burning curiosity was in him, that made him as heartless. But still all that she had said thus far was ambiguous.

Pierre said nothing; he just listened. A terrible, burning curiosity consumed him, making him feel devoid of emotion. Yet, everything she had said up until now was still unclear.

“Had I known—had I but known it before! Oh bitterly cruel to reveal it now. That she! That she!”

“Had I known—had I just known it before! Oh, how cruel to reveal it now. That her! That her!”

She raised herself suddenly, and almost fiercely confronted him.

She suddenly sat up and confronted him almost fiercely.

“Either thou hast told thy secret, or she is not worthy the commonest love of man! Speak Pierre,—which?”

“Either you've revealed your secret, or she's not deserving of even the simplest love from a man! Speak up, Pierre—what is it?”

“The secret is still a secret, Isabel.”

“The secret is still a secret, Isabel.”

“Then is she worthless, Pierre, whoever she be—foolishly, madly fond!—Doth not the world know me for thy wife?—She shall not come! ’Twere a foul blot on thee and me. She shall not come! One look from me shall murder her, Pierre!”

“Then she’s worthless, Pierre, whoever she is—foolishly, madly in love!—Doesn’t the world know I’m your wife?—She can’t come! It would be a disgrace for both of us. She can’t come! One glance from me would kill her, Pierre!”

“This is madness, Isabel. Look: now reason with me. Did I not before opening the letter, say to thee, that doubtless it was from some pretty young aunt or cousin?”

“This is crazy, Isabel. Look: now let’s think this through together. Didn’t I say before opening the letter that it was probably from some attractive young aunt or cousin?”

“Speak quick!—a cousin?”

“Talk fast!—a cousin?”

“A cousin, Isabel.”

“Cousin Isabel.”

“Yet, yet, that is not wholly out of the degree, I have heard. Tell me more, and quicker! more! more!”

“Still, that’s not entirely out of the question, I’ve heard. Tell me more, and faster! More! More!”

“A very strange cousin, Isabel; almost a nun in her notions. Hearing of our mysterious exile, she, without knowing the cause, hath yet as mysteriously vowed herself ours—not so much mine, Isabel, as ours, ours—to serve us; and by some sweet heavenly fancying, to guide us and guard us here.”

“A very strange cousin, Isabel; she's almost like a nun in her ideas. When she heard about our mysterious exile, she, without knowing the reason, has somehow vowed herself to us—not just to me, Isabel, but to all of us, us—to serve us; and by some sweet heavenly imagining, to guide us and protect us here.”

“Then, possibly, it may be all very well, Pierre, my brother—my brother—I can say that now?”

“Then, maybe it’s all good, Pierre, my brother—my brother—I can say that now?”

“Any,—all words are thine, Isabel; words and worlds with all their containings, shall be slaves to thee, Isabel.”

"All words belong to you, Isabel; every word and everything they represent will be at your command, Isabel."

She looked eagerly and inquiringly at him; then dropped her eyes, and touched his hand; then gazed again. “Speak so more to me, Pierre! Thou art my brother; art thou not my brother?—But tell me now more of—her; it is all newness, and utter strangeness to me, Pierre.”

She looked at him with curiosity and anticipation, then dropped her gaze and touched his hand before looking up again. “Talk to me more, Pierre! You are my brother, right?—But please tell me more about her; it’s all new and completely strange to me, Pierre.”

“I have said, my sweetest sister, that she has this wild, nun-like notion in her. She is willful in it; in this letter she vows she must and will come, and nothing on earth shall stay her. Do not have any sisterly jealousy, then, my sister. Thou wilt find her a most gentle, unobtrusive, ministering girl, Isabel. She will never name the not-to-be-named things to thee; nor hint of them; because she knows them not. Still, without knowing the secret, she yet hath the vague, unspecializing sensation of the secret—the mystical presentiment, somehow, of the secret. And her divineness hath drowned all womanly curiosity in her; so that she desires not, in any way, to verify the presentiment; content with the vague presentiment only; for in that, she thinks, the heavenly summons to come to us, lies;—even there, in that, Isabel. Dost thou now comprehend me?”

“I've mentioned it before, my dearest sister, that she has this wild, nun-like idea in her. She's determined about it; in this letter, she insists she must and will come, and nothing on earth will stop her. So please, don’t feel any sisterly jealousy, my sister. You'll find her to be a very gentle, unobtrusive, caring girl, Isabel. She'll never mention the unmentionable things to you; nor will she hint at them because she doesn’t know about them. Still, even without knowing the secret, she has a vague, general sense of it—a mystical intuition, somehow, of the secret. And her purity has drowned out all typical feminine curiosity in her; so she doesn't want, in any way, to dig deeper into the intuition; she’s content with just the vague feeling, believing that in that lies the heavenly call to come to us—right there, in that, Isabel. Do you understand me now?”

“I comprehend nothing, Pierre; there is nothing these eyes have ever looked upon, Pierre, that this soul comprehended. Ever, as now, do I go all a-grope amid the wide mysteriousness of things. Yes, she shall come; it is only one mystery the more. Doth she talk in her sleep, Pierre? Would it be well, if I slept with her, my brother?”

“I don’t understand anything, Pierre; there’s nothing these eyes have ever seen that this soul understands. Even now, I’m feeling my way through the vast mystery of everything. Yes, she will come; it’s just one more mystery. Does she talk in her sleep, Pierre? Would it be okay if I slept with her, my brother?”

“On thy account; wishful for thy sake; to leave thee incommoded; and—and—not knowing precisely how things really are;—she probably anticipates and desires otherwise, my sister.”

“Because of you; hoping for your sake; to leave you uncomfortable; and—and—not knowing exactly how things actually are;—she probably expects and wants something different, my sister.”

She gazed steadfastly at his outwardly firm, but not interiorly unfaltering aspect; and then dropped her glance in silence.

She stared intently at his outwardly strong demeanor, but inside he was not as steady; then she lowered her gaze in silence.

“Yes, she shall come, my brother; she shall come. But it weaves its thread into the general riddle, my brother.—Hath she that which they call the memory, Pierre; the memory? Hath she that?”

“Yes, she will come, my brother; she will come. But it threads into the larger puzzle, my brother.—Does she have what they call memory, Pierre; memory? Does she have that?”

“We all have the memory, my sister.”

“We all have that memory, my sister.”

“Not all! not all!—poor Bell hath but very little. Pierre! I have seen her in some dream. She is fair-haired—blue eyes—she is not quite so tall as I, yet a very little slighter.”

“Not all! not all!—poor Bell has very little. Pierre! I have seen her in some dream. She has blond hair—blue eyes—she’s not quite as tall as I am, but she's a bit slighter.”

Pierre started. “Thou hast seen Lucy Tartan, at Saddle Meadows?”

Pierre started. “Have you seen Lucy Tartan at Saddle Meadows?”

“Is Lucy Tartan the name?—Perhaps, perhaps;—but also, in the dream, Pierre; she came, with her blue eyes turned beseechingly on me; she seemed as if persuading me from thee;—methought she was then more than thy cousin;—methought she was that good angel, which some say, hovers over every human soul; and methought—oh, methought that I was thy other,—thy other angel, Pierre. Look: see these eyes,—this hair—nay, this cheek;—all dark, dark, dark,—and she—the blue-eyed—the fair-haired—oh, once the red-cheeked!”

“Is Lucy Tartan the name?—Maybe, maybe;—but also, in the dream, Pierre; she came to me, her blue eyes looking at me pleadingly; it seemed like she was trying to convince me away from you;—I thought she was more than just your cousin;—I thought she was that good angel that some say hovers over every human soul; and I thought—oh, I thought that I was your other,—your other angel, Pierre. Look: see these eyes,—this hair—no, this cheek;—all dark, dark, dark,—and she—the blue-eyed—the fair-haired—oh, once the red-cheeked!”

She tossed her ebon tresses over her; she fixed her ebon eyes on him.

She tossed her black hair over her shoulder; she focused her dark eyes on him.

“Say, Pierre; doth not a funerealness invest me? Was ever hearse so plumed?—Oh, God! that I had been born with blue eyes, and fair hair! Those make the livery of heaven! Heard ye ever yet of a good angel with dark eyes, Pierre?—no, no, no—all blue, blue, blue—heaven’s own blue—the clear, vivid, unspeakable blue, which we see in June skies, when all clouds are swept by.—But the good angel shall come to thee, Pierre. Then both will be close by thee, my brother; and thou mayest perhaps elect,—elect!—She shall come; she shall come.—When is it to be, dear Pierre?”

“Hey, Pierre; doesn’t a feeling of sadness surround me? Has there ever been a hearse so decorated?—Oh, God! I wish I had been born with blue eyes and fair hair! Those are the colors of heaven! Have you ever heard of a good angel with dark eyes, Pierre?—no, no, no—all blue, blue, blue—heaven’s own blue—the clear, bright, indescribable blue that we see in June skies when all the clouds are gone.—But the good angel will come to you, Pierre. Then both will be close to you, my brother; and you may even choose,—choose!—She will come; she will come.—When will it be, dear Pierre?”

“To-morrow, Isabel. So it is here written.”

"Tomorrow, Isabel. That's what it says here."

She fixed her eye on the crumpled billet in his hand. “It were vile to ask, but not wrong to suppose the asking.—Pierre,—no, I need not say it,—wouldst thou?”

She focused on the crumpled note in his hand. “It would be awful to ask, but not wrong to think about asking.—Pierre,—no, I don’t need to say it,—would you?”

“No; I would not let thee read it, my sister; I would not; because I have no right to—no right—no right;—that is it; no: I have no right. I will burn it this instant, Isabel.”

“No; I won’t let you read it, my sister; I just can’t; because I have no right to—no right—no right; that’s it; no: I have no right. I will burn it right now, Isabel.”

He stepped from her into the adjoining room; threw the billet into the stove, and watching its last ashes, returned to Isabel.

He stepped out of the room and into the next one, tossed the note into the stove, and while watching it burn to ashes, went back to Isabel.

She looked with endless intimations upon him.

She gazed at him with endless hints of emotion.

“It is burnt, but not consumed; it is gone, but not lost. Through stove, pipe, and flue, it hath mounted in flame, and gone as a scroll to heaven! It shall appear again, my brother.—Woe is me—woe, woe!—woe is me, oh, woe! Do not speak to me, Pierre; leave me now. She shall come. The Bad angel shall tend the Good; she shall dwell with us, Pierre. Mistrust me not; her considerateness to me, shall be outdone by mine to her.—Let me be alone now, my brother.”

“It’s burned, but not destroyed; it’s gone, but not forgotten. Through the stove, pipe, and chimney, it has risen in flames, and has ascended like a scroll to heaven! It will return, my brother.—Oh, woe is me—woe, woe!—woe is me, oh, woe! Don’t talk to me, Pierre; just leave me alone for now. She will come. The Bad angel will care for the Good; she will stay with us, Pierre. Don’t doubt me; my care for her will exceed her kindness to me.—Just let me be alone now, my brother.”


IV.

THOUGH by the unexpected petition to enter his privacy—a petition he could scarce ever deny to Isabel, since she so religiously abstained from preferring it, unless for some very reasonable cause, Pierre, in the midst of those conflicting, secondary emotions, immediately following the first wonderful effect of Lucy’s strange letter, had been forced to put on, toward Isabel, some air of assurance and understanding concerning its contents; yet at bottom, he was still a prey to all manner of devouring mysteries.

THOUGH by the unexpected request to invade his privacy—a request he could hardly refuse Isabel, since she so consistently avoided making it unless there was a very good reason—Pierre, caught up in those conflicting emotions that followed the initial shock of Lucy’s strange letter, felt he had to maintain an air of confidence and understanding toward Isabel about what it contained; yet deep down, he was still overwhelmed by all sorts of consuming mysteries.

Soon, now, as he left the chamber of Isabel, these mysteriousnesses re-mastered him completely; and as he mechanically sat down in the dining-room chair, gently offered him by Delly—for the silent girl saw that some strangeness that sought stillness was in him;—Pierre’s mind was revolving how it was possible, or any way conceivable, that Lucy should have been inspired with such seemingly wonderful presentiments of something assumed, or disguising, or non-substantial, somewhere and somehow, in his present most singular apparent position in the eye of world. The wild words of Isabel yet rang in his ears. It were an outrage upon all womanhood to imagine that Lucy, however yet devoted to him in her hidden heart, should be willing to come to him, so long as she supposed, with the rest of the world, that Pierre was an ordinarily married man. But how—what possible reason—what possible intimation could she have had to suspect the contrary, or to suspect any thing unsound? For neither at this present time, nor at any subsequent period, did Pierre, or could Pierre, possibly imagine that in her marvelous presentiments of Love she had any definite conceit of the precise nature of the secret which so unrevealingly and enchantedly wrapt him. But a peculiar thought passingly recurred to him here.

Soon, as he left Isabel's room, these mysteries completely consumed him; and as he sat down mechanically in the dining-room chair, which Delly gently offered him—since the quiet girl sensed some strange stillness within him—Pierre's mind was racing, trying to figure out how it was possible that Lucy could have such seemingly incredible insights about something hidden or unreal, somewhere and somehow, given his current unusual situation in the eyes of the world. Isabel's wild words still echoed in his ears. It would be a terrible betrayal of all women to think that Lucy, no matter how devoted she might be in her secret heart, would want to approach him as long as she believed, like everyone else, that Pierre was just a regular married man. But how—what reason could she possibly have to suspect otherwise or sense anything off? At neither this moment nor at any later time could Pierre imagine that in her amazing premonitions of love she had any clear idea of the exact nature of the secret that so enchantingly concealed him. Yet, a peculiar thought fleetingly crossed his mind at that moment.

Within his social recollections there was a very remarkable case of a youth, who, while all but affianced to a beautiful girl—one returning his own throbbings with incipient passion—became somehow casually and momentarily betrayed into an imprudent manifested tenderness toward a second lady; or else, that second lady’s deeply-concerned friends caused it to be made known to the poor youth, that such committal tenderness toward her he had displayed, nor had it failed to exert its natural effect upon her; certain it is, this second lady drooped and drooped, and came nigh to dying, all the while raving of the cruel infidelity of her supposed lover; so that those agonizing appeals, from so really lovely a girl, that seemed dying of grief for him, at last so moved the youth, that—morbidly disregardful of the fact, that inasmuch as two ladies claimed him, the prior lady had the best title to his hand—his conscience insanely upbraided him concerning the second lady; he thought that eternal woe would surely overtake him both here and hereafter if he did not renounce his first love—terrible as the effort would be both to him and her—and wed with the second lady; which he accordingly did; while, through his whole subsequent life, delicacy and honor toward his thus wedded wife, forbade that by explaining to his first love how it was with him in this matter, he should tranquilize her heart; and, therefore, in her complete ignorance, she believed that he was willfully and heartlessly false to her; and so came to a lunatic’s death on his account.

In his memories, there was a striking story about a young man who, while almost engaged to a beautiful girl—someone who shared his growing feelings—found himself unexpectedly and momentarily showing affection toward another woman. Alternatively, the concerned friends of this second woman made it clear to him that he had shown such affection to her, which affected her deeply. It's certain that this second woman grew increasingly despondent and was nearly driven to despair, lamenting the supposed betrayal of her would-be lover. Those heart-wrenching cries from such a truly lovely girl, who seemed to be withering away from sorrow for him, eventually moved the young man so much that—despite knowing he had committed to someone else—his guilt about the second woman consumed him. He believed that if he didn't end his engagement with his first love, he would face eternal regret, both in this life and the next, even though it would be a painful decision for both of them. So, he married the second woman, while throughout his entire life afterward, his sense of decency and honor prevented him from explaining the situation to his first love, leaving her completely unaware. As a result, she thought he was deliberately and cruelly unfaithful to her, and ultimately, she died tragically on his account.

This strange story of real life, Pierre knew to be also familiar to Lucy; for they had several times conversed upon it; and the first love of the demented youth had been a school-mate of Lucy’s, and Lucy had counted upon standing up with her as bridesmaid. Now, the passing idea was self-suggested to Pierre, whether into Lucy’s mind some such conceit as this, concerning himself and Isabel, might not possibly have stolen. But then again such a supposition proved wholly untenable in the end; for it did by no means suffice for a satisfactory solution of the absolute motive of the extraordinary proposed step of Lucy; nor indeed by any ordinary law of propriety, did it at all seem to justify that step. Therefore, he know not what to think; hardly what to dream. Wonders, nay, downright miracles and no less were sung about Love; but here was the absolute miracle itself—the out-acted miracle. For infallibly certain he inwardly felt, that whatever her strange conceit; whatever her enigmatical delusion; whatever her most secret and inexplicable motive; still Lucy in her own virgin heart remained transparently immaculate, without shadow of flaw or vein. Nevertheless, what inconceivable conduct this was in her, which she in her letter so passionately proposed! Altogether, it amazed him; it confounded him.

This strange story of real life, Pierre knew, was also familiar to Lucy; they had talked about it several times. The first love of the troubled young man had been a schoolmate of Lucy’s, and Lucy had expected to stand by her as a bridesmaid. Now, Pierre couldn’t help but wonder if some similar thought about himself and Isabel had crossed Lucy’s mind. But that idea quickly seemed impossible; it didn’t explain Lucy’s unusual decision at all, and it certainly didn’t justify her choice according to any standard of propriety. So, he didn’t know what to think, scarcely what to dream. There were wonders—no, outright miracles—spoken about love; yet here was the real miracle itself—the miracle in action. For he felt certain inside that, no matter what her strange ideas, whatever her puzzling delusions, whatever her deepest and most inexplicable motives, Lucy still remained pure in her own heart, without any flaw. Still, what an incomprehensible act it was for her to propose this in her letter! It completely amazed him; it left him confused.

Now, that vague, fearful feeling stole into him, that, rail as all atheists will, there is a mysterious, inscrutable divineness in the world—a God—a Being positively present everywhere;—nay, He is now in this room; the air did part when I here sat down. I displaced the Spirit then—condensed it a little off from this spot. He looked apprehensively around him; he felt overjoyed at the sight of the humanness of Delly.

Now, that vague, fearful feeling crept in him, that, no matter how much atheists deny it, there is a mysterious, inexplicable divineness in the world—a God—a Being who is definitely present everywhere;—in fact, He is right here in this room; the air shifted when I sat down. I stirred the Spirit then—disturbed it a little from this spot. He looked nervously around him; he felt immense joy at the sight of Delly's humanness.

While he was thus plunged into this mysteriousness, a knock was heard at the door.

While he was deep in this mystery, there was a knock at the door.

Delly hesitatingly rose—“Shall I let any one in, sir?—I think it is Mr. Millthorpe’s knock.”

Delly reluctantly stood up. “Should I let anyone in, sir? I think it's Mr. Millthorpe at the door.”

“Go and see—go and see”—said Pierre, vacantly.

“Go and see—go and see,” Pierre said blankly.

The moment the door was opened, Millthorpe—for it was he—catching a glimpse of Pierre’s seated form, brushed past Delly, and loudly entered the room.

The moment the door opened, Millthorpe—who it was—caught sight of Pierre sitting down, pushed past Delly, and walked into the room loudly.

“Ha, ha! well, my boy, how comes on the Inferno? That is it you are writing; one is apt to look black while writing Infernoes; you always loved Dante. My lad! I have finished ten metaphysical treatises; argued five cases before the court; attended all our society’s meetings; accompanied our great Professor, Monsieur Volvoon, the lecturer, through his circuit in the philosophical saloons, sharing all the honors of his illustrious triumph; and by the way, let me tell you, Volvoon secretly gives me even more credit than is my due; for ’pon my soul, I did not help write more than one half, at most, of his Lectures; edited—anonymously, though—a learned, scientific work on ‘The Precise Cause of the Modifications in the Undulatory Motion in Waves,’ a posthumous work of a poor fellow—fine lad he was, too—a friend of mine. Yes, here I have been doing all this, while you still are hammering away at that one poor plaguy Inferno! Oh, there’s a secret in dispatching these things; patience! patience! you will yet learn the secret. Time! time! I can’t teach it to you, my boy, but Time can: I wish I could, but I can’t.”

“Ha, ha! Well, my boy, how’s the Inferno coming along? That’s what you’re writing, right? People tend to look gloomy while tackling Infernos; you’ve always loved Dante. My lad! I’ve finished ten metaphysical essays, argued five cases in court, attended all our society's meetings, and accompanied our great Professor, Monsieur Volvoon, the lecturer, on his circuit in the philosophical salons, sharing in all the glory of his impressive achievements. By the way, let me tell you, Volvoon secretly gives me even more credit than I deserve; honestly, I only helped write about half, at most, of his Lectures; I also edited—anonymously, though—a scholarly work on ‘The Precise Cause of the Modifications in the Undulatory Motion in Waves,’ a posthumous work of a poor fellow—he was a great guy, too—a friend of mine. Yes, I’ve been busy with all this while you’re still struggling with that one frustrating Inferno! Oh, there’s a trick to getting these things done; patience! Patience! You will learn the trick eventually. Time! Time! I can’t teach it to you, my boy, but Time can: I wish I could, but I can’t.”

There was another knock at the door.

There was another knock on the door.

“Oh!” cried Millthorpe, suddenly turning round to it, “I forgot, my boy. I came to tell you that there is a porter, with some queer things, inquiring for you. I happened to meet him down stairs in the corridors, and I told him to follow me up—I would show him the road; here he is; let him in, let him in, good Delly, my girl.”

“Oh!” Millthorpe exclaimed, suddenly turning to it, “I forgot, my boy. I came to tell you that a porter is here with some strange things, asking for you. I ran into him downstairs in the corridors and told him to follow me up—I would show him the way; here he is; let him in, let him in, good Delly, my girl.”

Thus far, the rattlings of Millthorpe, if producing any effect at all, had but stunned the averted Pierre. But now he started to his feet. A man with his hat on, stood in the door, holding an easel before him.

Thus far, the noise from Millthorpe, if it had any effect, had only shocked the turned-away Pierre. But now he jumped to his feet. A man wearing a hat stood in the doorway, holding an easel in front of him.

“Is this Mr. Glendinning’s room, gentlemen?”

“Is this Mr. Glendinning’s room, guys?”

“Oh, come in, come in,” cried Millthorpe, “all right.”

“Oh, come in, come in,” shouted Millthorpe, “it's fine.”

“Oh! is that you, sir? well, well, then;” and the man set down the easel.

“Oh! is that you, sir? well, well, then;” and the man put down the easel.

“Well, my boy,” exclaimed Millthorpe to Pierre; “you are in the Inferno dream yet. Look; that’s what people call an easel, my boy. An easel, an easel—not a weasel; you look at it as though you thought it a weasel. Come; wake up, wake up! You ordered it, I suppose, and here it is. Going to paint and illustrate the Inferno, as you go along, I suppose. Well, my friends tell me it is a great pity my own things aint illustrated. But I can’t afford it. There now is that Hymn to the Niger, which I threw into a pigeon-hole, a year or two ago—that would be fine for illustrations.”

“Well, my boy,” shouted Millthorpe to Pierre; “you’re still caught in that Inferno dream. Look; that’s what people call an easel, my boy. An easel, an easel—not a weasel; you’re looking at it like you think it’s a weasel. Come on; wake up, wake up! You ordered it, right? And here it is. Planning to paint and illustrate the Inferno as you go along, I guess. Well, my friends tell me it’s a real shame my own stuff isn’t illustrated. But I can’t afford it. There’s that Hymn to the Niger, which I tossed into a pigeonhole a year or two ago—that would be perfect for illustrations.”

“Is it for Mr. Glendinning you inquire?” said Pierre now, in a slow, icy tone, to the porter.

“Are you asking about Mr. Glendinning?” Pierre said now, in a slow, cold tone, to the porter.

“Mr. Glendinning, sir; all right, aint it?”

“Mr. Glendinning, sir; it’s all good, isn’t it?”

“Perfectly,” said Pierre mechanically, and casting another strange, rapt, bewildered glance at the easel. “But something seems strangely wanting here. Ay, now I see, I see it:—Villain!—the vines! Thou hast torn the green heart-strings! Thou hast but left the cold skeleton of the sweet arbor wherein she once nestled! Thou besotted, heartless hind and fiend, dost thou so much as dream in thy shriveled liver of the eternal mischief thou hast done? Restore thou the green vines! untrample them, thou accursed!—Oh my God, my God, trampled vines pounded and crushed in all fibers, how can they live over again, even though they be replanted! Curse thee, thou!—Nay, nay,” he added moodily—“I was but wandering to myself.” Then rapidly and mockingly—“Pardon, pardon!—porter; I most humbly crave thy most haughty pardon.” Then imperiously—“Come, stir thyself, man; thou hast more below: bring all up.”

"Perfectly," Pierre said mechanically, casting another strange, absorbed, bewildered look at the easel. "But something seems really off here. Ah, now I see it:—You villain!—the vines! You’ve torn the green heart-strings! You’ve only left the cold skeleton of the sweet arbor where she once rested! You foolish, heartless brute and fiend, do you even realize in your shriveled heart the eternal harm you’ve caused? Restore the green vines! Don’t trample them, you accursed!—Oh my God, my God, trampled vines crushed in every fiber, how can they ever grow back, even if they’re replanted! Curse you, you!—No, no," he added moodily—"I was just rambling to myself." Then quickly and mockingly—"Pardon, pardon!—porter; I humbly ask for your high and mighty forgiveness." Then commanding—"Come on, get moving, man; you have more down there: bring it all up."

As the astounded porter turned, he whispered to Millthorpe—“Is he safe?—shall I bring ’em?”

As the surprised porter turned, he whispered to Millthorpe, “Is he safe? Should I bring them?”

“Oh certainly,” smiled Millthorpe: “I’ll look out for him; he’s never really dangerous when I’m present; there, go!”

“Oh, of course,” smiled Millthorpe. “I’ll watch out for him; he’s never really a threat when I’m around; now, go!”

Two trunks now followed, with “L. T.” blurredly marked upon the ends.

Two trunks now followed, with "L. T." faintly marked on the ends.

“Is that all, my man?” said Pierre, as the trunks were being put down before him; “well, how much?”—that moment his eyes first caught the blurred letters.

“Is that it, my guy?” said Pierre, as the trunks were being set down in front of him; “well, how much?”—at that moment, his eyes first noticed the smudged letters.

“Prepaid, sir; but no objection to more.”

"Paid in advance, sir; but I have no problem with additional payment."

Pierre stood mute and unmindful, still fixedly eying the blurred letters; his body contorted, and one side drooping, as though that moment half-way down-stricken with a paralysis, and yet unconscious of the stroke.

Pierre stood silent and distant, still staring at the blurred letters; his body twisted, with one side sagging, as if in that moment he had been hit with paralysis, yet unaware of the blow.

His two companions, momentarily stood motionless in those respective attitudes, in which they had first caught sight of the remarkable change that had come over him. But, as if ashamed of having been thus affected, Millthorpe summoning a loud, merry voice, advanced toward Pierre, and, tapping his shoulder, cried, “Wake up, wake up, my boy!—He says he is prepaid, but no objection to more.”

His two friends stood still for a moment in the positions where they first noticed the incredible change in him. But, as if embarrassed by their reaction, Millthorpe, using a loud, cheerful voice, walked over to Pierre, tapped his shoulder, and said, “Wake up, wake up, my boy!—He says he’s prepaid, but he’s okay with more.”

“Prepaid;—what’s that? Go, go, and jabber to apes!”

“Prepaid—what's that? Just go talk to monkeys!”

“A curious young gentleman, is he not?” said Millthorpe lightly to the porter;—“Look you, my boy, I’ll repeat:—He says he’s prepaid, but no objection to more.”

“A curious young man, isn’t he?” said Millthorpe casually to the porter;—“Listen, my boy, I’ll say it again:—He claims he’s prepaid, but he has no problem with paying more.”

“Ah?—take that then,” said Pierre, vacantly putting something into the porter’s hand.

“Ah?—here, take this,” said Pierre, blankly placing something into the porter’s hand.

“And what shall I do with this, sir?” said the porter, staring.

“And what am I supposed to do with this, sir?” said the porter, staring.

“Drink a health; but not mine; that were mockery!”

“Drink a toast to health; but not to mine; that would be mockery!”

“With a key, sir? This is a key you gave me.”

“With a key, sir? This is the key you gave me.”

“Ah!—well, you at least shall not have the thing that unlocks me. Give me the key, and take this.”

“Ah!—well, you at least won’t get what unlocks me. Give me the key, and take this.”

“Ay, ay!—here’s the chink! Thank’ee sir, thank’ee. This’ll drink. I aint called a porter for nothing; Stout’s the word; 2151 is my number; any jobs, call on me.”

“Hey, hey!—here’s the gig! Thanks, man, thanks. This’ll do. I’m not called a porter for nothing; Stout’s the name; 2151 is my number; if you need anything, just call on me.”

“Do you ever cart a coffin, my man?” said Pierre.

“Have you ever carried a coffin, my man?” said Pierre.

“’Pon my soul!” cried Millthorpe, gayly laughing, “if you aint writing an Inferno, then—but never mind. Porter! this gentleman is under medical treatment at present. You had better—ab’—you understand—’squatulate, porter! There, my boy, he is gone; I understand how to manage these fellows; there’s a trick in it, my boy—an off-handed sort of what d’ye call it?—you understand—the trick! the trick!—the whole world’s a trick. Know the trick of it, all’s right; don’t know, all’s wrong. Ha! ha!”

“By my soul!” laughed Millthorpe cheerfully, “if you aren’t writing some kind of Inferno, then—but never mind. Porter! This gentleman is currently under medical care. You’d better—uh—you get it—'squatulate, porter! There, my boy, he’s gone; I know how to handle these guys; there’s a trick to it, my boy—an off-handed sort of what do you call it?—you know—the trick! The trick!—the whole world’s a trick. Know the trick, everything’s fine; don’t know it, everything’s a mess. Ha! Ha!”

“The porter is gone then?” said Pierre, calmly. “Well, Mr. Millthorpe, you will have the goodness to follow him.”

“The porter is gone then?” Pierre said calmly. “Well, Mr. Millthorpe, you will kindly follow him.”

“Rare joke! admirable!—Good morning, sir. Ha, ha!”

“That's a rare joke! Impressive!—Good morning, sir. Ha, ha!”

And with his unruffleable hilariousness, Millthorpe quitted the room.

And with his unshakeable sense of humor, Millthorpe left the room.

But hardly had the door closed upon him, nor had he yet removed his hand from its outer knob, when suddenly it swung half open again, and thrusting his fair curly head within, Millthorpe cried: “By the way, my boy, I have a word for you. You know that greasy fellow who has been dunning you so of late. Well, be at rest there; he’s paid. I was suddenly made flush yesterday:—regular flood-tide. You can return it any day, you know—no hurry; that’s all.—But, by the way,—as you look as though you were going to have company here—just send for me in case you want to use me—any bedstead to put up, or heavy things to be lifted about. Don’t you and the women do it, now, mind! That’s all again. Addios, my boy. Take care of yourself!”

But as soon as he closed the door behind him and was about to let go of the handle, it suddenly swung open again, and leaning in with his curly hair, Millthorpe shouted, “Hey, I just wanted to give you a quick heads up. That annoying guy who's been bugging you for money? Don't worry, he's been paid. I came into some cash yesterday—like a flood. You can pay me back whenever; no rush. Oh, and by the way, since it looks like you might have company over, just let me know if you need a hand with anything, like putting up a bed or moving heavy stuff. Don’t you and the ladies do it, alright? That’s it. See you later, my friend. Take care of yourself!”

“Stay!” cried Pierre, reaching forth one hand, but moving neither foot—“Stay!”—in the midst of all his prior emotions struck by these singular traits in Millthorpe. But the door was abruptly closed; and singing Fa, la, la: Millthorpe in his seedy coat went tripping down the corridor.

“Wait!” shouted Pierre, extending one hand but not moving a foot—“Wait!”—as he was overwhelmed by the unusual qualities of Millthorpe. But the door slammed shut; and singing Fa, la, la, Millthorpe in his shabby coat skipped down the hallway.

“Plus heart, minus head,” muttered Pierre, his eyes fixed on the door. “Now, by heaven! the god that made Millthorpe was both a better and a greater than the god that made Napoleon or Byron.—Plus head, minus heart—Pah! the brains grow maggoty without a heart; but the heart’s the preserving salt itself, and can keep sweet without the head.—Delly!”

“More heart, less head,” Pierre muttered, his eyes glued to the door. “Honestly! The god who created Millthorpe is both better and greater than the god who made Napoleon or Byron. —Less head, more heart—Ugh! Brains get all rotten without a heart; but the heart is the preserving salt itself, and it can stay fresh without the head. —Delly!”

“Sir?”

"Excuse me?"

“My cousin Miss Tartan is coming here to live with us, Delly. That easel,—those trunks are hers.”

“My cousin Miss Tartan is moving in with us, Delly. That easel and those trunks belong to her.”

“Good heavens!—coming here?—your cousin?—Miss Tartan?”

"Wow!—coming here?—your cousin?—Miss Tartan?"

“Yes, I thought you must have heard of her and me;—but it was broken off; Delly.”

“Yes, I figured you must have heard about her and me;—but it was called off; Delly.”

“Sir? Sir?”

"Excuse me? Excuse me?"

“I have no explanation, Delly; and from you, I must have no amazement. My cousin,—mind, my cousin, Miss Tartan, is coming to live with us. The next room to this, on the other side there, is unoccupied. That room shall be hers. You must wait upon her, too, Delly.”

“I have no explanation, Delly; and I can't deal with any surprises from you. My cousin—remember, my cousin, Miss Tartan—is coming to live with us. The room next to this one, over there, is empty. That room will be hers. You’ll need to take care of her as well, Delly.”

“Certainly sir, certainly; I will do any thing;” said Delly trembling; “but,—but—does Mrs. Glendin-din—does my mistress know this?”

“Of course, sir, of course; I’ll do anything,” Delly said, trembling. “But—does Mrs. Glendin-din—does my mistress know about this?”

“My wife knows all”—said Pierre sternly. “I will go down and get the key of the room; and you must sweep it out.”

“My wife knows everything,” Pierre said firmly. “I’m going to go downstairs and get the room key; you need to clean it out.”

“What is to be put into it, sir?” said Delly. “Miss Tartan—why, she is used to all sorts of fine things,—rich carpets—wardrobes—mirrors—curtains;—why, why, why!”

“What should we put in it, sir?” said Delly. “Miss Tartan—well, she’s used to all kinds of nice things—luxurious carpets—wardrobes—mirrors—curtains;—I mean, really!”

“Look,” said Pierre, touching an old rug with his foot;—“here is a bit of carpet; drag that into her room; here is a chair, put that in; and for a bed,—ay, ay,” he muttered to himself; “I have made it for her, and she ignorantly lies on it now!—as made—so lie. Oh God!”

“Look,” Pierre said, using his foot to touch an old rug, “here’s a piece of carpet; drag that into her room; here’s a chair, put that in; and for a bed—yeah, yeah,” he muttered to himself, “I made it for her, and she’s lying on it without knowing!—as it’s made—so she lies. Oh God!”

“Hark! my mistress is calling”—cried Delly, moving toward the opposite room.

“Hear that! My mistress is calling,” Delly shouted, heading toward the other room.

“Stay!”—cried Pierre, grasping her shoulder; “if both called at one time from these opposite chambers, and both were swooning, which door would you first fly to?”

“Stay!” Pierre shouted, grabbing her shoulder. “If both called out at the same time from these opposite rooms and both were fainting, which door would you run to first?”

The girl gazed at him uncomprehendingly and affrighted a moment; and then said,—“This one, sir”—out of mere confusion perhaps, putting her hand on Isabel’s latch.

The girl looked at him, confused and frightened for a moment, and then said, “This one, sir”—maybe just out of confusion, as she placed her hand on Isabel’s latch.

“It is well. Now go.”

"All good. Now go."

He stood in an intent unchanged attitude till Delly returned.

He stood in an intense, unchanging stance until Delly came back.

“How is my wife, now?”

"How's my wife doing now?"

Again startled by the peculiar emphasis placed on the magical word wife, Delly, who had long before this, been occasionally struck with the infrequency of his using that term; she looked at him perplexedly, and said half-unconsciously—

Again startled by the unusual emphasis on the magical word wife, Delly, who had been occasionally struck by how rarely he used that term, looked at him in confusion and said half-unconsciously—

“Your wife, sir?”

"Your wife, sir?"

“Ay, is she not?”

"Yeah, isn’t she?"

“God grant that she be—Oh, ’tis most cruel to ask that of poor, poor Delly, sir!”

“God grant that she be—Oh, it’s so unfair to ask that of poor, poor Delly, sir!”

“Tut for thy tears! Never deny it again then!—I swear to heaven, she is!”

“Stop with the tears! Don’t deny it again!—I swear to God, she is!”

With these wild words, Pierre seized his hat, and departed the room, muttering something about bringing the key of the additional chamber.

With those wild words, Pierre grabbed his hat and left the room, mumbling something about getting the key to the extra room.

As the door closed on him, Delly dropped on her knees. She lifted her head toward the ceiling, but dropped it again, as if tyrannically awed downward, and bent it low over, till her whole form tremulously cringed to the floor.

As the door slammed shut behind him, Delly fell to her knees. She raised her head toward the ceiling but quickly lowered it again, as if overwhelmed and forced to look down, bending it low until her whole body trembled and pressed against the floor.

“God that made me, and that wast not so hard to me as wicked Delly deserved,—God that made me, I pray to thee! ward it off from me, if it be coming to me. Be not deaf to me; these stony walls—Thou canst hear through them. Pity! pity!—mercy, my God!—If they are not married; if I, penitentially seeking to be pure, am now but the servant to a greater sin, than I myself committed: then, pity! pity! pity! pity! pity! Oh God that made me,—See me, see me here—what can Delly do? If I go hence, none will take me in but villains. If I stay, then—for stay I must—and they be not married,—then pity, pity, pity, pity, pity!”

“God who made me, and who was not as hard on me as wicked Delly deserved,—God who created me, I pray to you! Please keep this away from me, if something bad is coming my way. Don’t ignore me; these stone walls—You can hear me through them. Have mercy! Have mercy, my God!—If they aren't married; if I, earnestly trying to be pure, am now just a servant to a greater sin than the one I committed myself: then, have mercy! Have mercy! Have mercy! Have mercy! Oh God who made me,—Look at me, look at me here—what can Delly do? If I leave, no one will welcome me but criminals. If I stay, then—because I must stay—and they are not married,—then have mercy, have mercy, have mercy, have mercy!”

BOOK XXIV.
LUCY AT THE APOSTLES.

I.

NEXT morning, the recently appropriated room adjoining on the other side of the dining-room, presented a different aspect from that which met the eye of Delly upon first unlocking it with Pierre on the previous evening. Two squares of faded carpeting of different patterns, covered the middle of the floor, leaving, toward the surbase, a wide, blank margin around them. A small glass hung in the pier; beneath that, a little stand, with a foot or two of carpet before it. In one corner was a cot, neatly equipped with bedding. At the outer side of the cot, another strip of carpeting was placed. Lucy’s delicate feet should not shiver on the naked floor.

NEXT morning, the recently taken room next to the dining room looked different from how Delly had seen it when she first unlocked it with Pierre the evening before. Two squares of worn carpet in different patterns covered the center of the floor, leaving a wide, empty space around them by the baseboards. A small mirror hung on the wall; below it was a little table, with a foot or two of carpet in front. In one corner stood a cot, neatly made with bedding. On the outside of the cot, there was another piece of carpet laid down so Lucy’s delicate feet wouldn’t have to touch the cold floor.

Pierre, Isabel, and Delly were standing in the room; Isabel’s eyes were fixed on the cot.

Pierre, Isabel, and Delly were standing in the room; Isabel's gaze was locked on the crib.

“I think it will be pretty cosy now,” said Delly, palely glancing all round, and then adjusting the pillow anew.

“I think it will be pretty cozy now,” said Delly, looking around pale and then adjusting the pillow again.

“There is no warmth, though,” said Isabel. “Pierre, there is no stove in the room. She will be very cold. The pipe—can we not send it this way?” And she looked more intently at him, than the question seemed to warrant.

“There’s no warmth, though,” Isabel said. “Pierre, there’s no stove in the room. She’s going to be really cold. The pipe—can we send it this way?” And she looked at him more intensely than the question seemed to require.

“Let the pipe stay where it is, Isabel,” said Pierre, answering her own pointed gaze. “The dining-room door can stand open. She never liked sleeping in a heated room. Let all be; it is well. Eh! but there is a grate here, I see. I will buy coals. Yes, yes—that can be easily done; a little fire of a morning—the expense will be nothing. Stay, we will have a little fire here now for a welcome. She shall always have fire.”

“Let the pipe stay where it is, Isabel,” Pierre said, responding to her intense look. “The dining-room door can stay open. She never liked sleeping in a hot room. Let things be; it's fine. Oh! but I see there’s a grate here. I’ll buy some coal. Yes, yes—that can be easily arranged; a small fire in the morning—the cost will be minimal. Hold on, we'll start a little fire here now to welcome her. She’ll always have a fire.”

“Better change the pipe, Pierre,” said Isabel, “that will be permanent, and save the coals.”

“It's better to change the pipe, Pierre,” Isabel said, “that will be permanent and save the coal.”

“It shall not be done, Isabel. Doth not that pipe and that warmth go into thy room? Shall I rob my wife, good Delly, even to benefit my most devoted and true-hearted cousin?”

“It won't happen, Isabel. Don’t you hear that music and feel that warmth in your room? Should I take away from my wife, dear Delly, just to help my most devoted and true-hearted cousin?”

“Oh! I should say not, sir; not at all,” said Delly hysterically.

“Oh! I definitely shouldn’t, sir; not at all,” Delly said, sounding frantic.

A triumphant fire flashed in Isabel’s eye; her full bosom arched out; but she was silent.

A triumphant fire sparkled in Isabel’s eye; her full chest stood proud; but she remained silent.

“She may be here, now, at any moment, Isabel,” said Pierre; “come, we will meet her in the dining-room; that is our reception-place, thou knowest.”

“She might be here any moment, Isabel,” said Pierre; “come on, let’s meet her in the dining room; that’s where we’re supposed to greet her, you know.”

So the three went into the dining-room.

So the three of them went into the dining room.


II.

THEY had not been there long, when Pierre, who had been pacing up and down, suddenly paused, as if struck by some laggard thought, which had just occurred to him at the eleventh hour. First he looked toward Delly, as if about to bid her quit the apartment, while he should say something private to Isabel; but as if, on a second thought, holding the contrary of this procedure most advisable, he, without preface, at once addressed Isabel, in his ordinary conversational tone, so that Delly could not but plainly hear him, whether she would or no.

They hadn't been there long when Pierre, who had been pacing back and forth, suddenly stopped, as if struck by a delayed thought that had just hit him at the last moment. First, he glanced at Delly, as if he was about to ask her to leave the room while he spoke privately with Isabel; but on second thought, considering it better to do the opposite, he immediately addressed Isabel in his usual conversational tone, making sure Delly could clearly hear him, whether she wanted to or not.

“My dear Isabel, though, as I said to thee before, my cousin, Miss Tartan, that strange, and willful, nun-like girl, is at all hazards, mystically resolved to come and live with us, yet it must be quite impossible that her friends can approve in her such a singular step; a step even more singular, Isabel, than thou, in thy unsophisticatedness, can’st at all imagine. I shall be immensely deceived if they do not, to their very utmost, strive against it. Now what I am going to add may be quite unnecessary, but I can not avoid speaking it, for all that.”

“My dear Isabel, as I mentioned before, my cousin, Miss Tartan, that strange and willful girl who acts like a nun, is determined to come and live with us no matter what. However, it seems impossible that her friends would approve of such an unusual decision; it's even more unusual, Isabel, than you could possibly imagine in your innocence. I would be greatly surprised if they didn't try their hardest to prevent it. Now, what I'm about to say might be unnecessary, but I can't help but mention it.”

Isabel with empty hands sat silent, but intently and expectantly eying him; while behind her chair, Delly was bending her face low over her knitting—which she had seized so soon as Pierre had begun speaking—and with trembling fingers was nervously twitching the points of her long needles. It was plain that she awaited Pierre’s accents with hardly much less eagerness than Isabel. Marking well this expression in Delly, and apparently not unpleased with it, Pierre continued; but by no slightest outward tone or look seemed addressing his remarks to any one but Isabel.

Isabel sat silently with empty hands, watching him intently and expectantly; behind her chair, Delly leaned low over her knitting—which she had grabbed as soon as Pierre started speaking—and with shaking fingers was nervously fiddling with the tips of her long needles. It was clear that she was waiting for Pierre’s words with almost as much anticipation as Isabel. Noticing this look on Delly's face, and seemingly pleased by it, Pierre continued speaking; however, he didn’t direct his words to anyone but Isabel.

“Now what I mean, dear Isabel, is this: if that very probable hostility on the part of Miss Tartan’s friends to her fulfilling her strange resolution—if any of that hostility should chance to be manifested under thine eye, then thou certainly wilt know how to account for it; and as certainly wilt draw no inference from it in the minutest conceivable degree involving any thing sinister in me. No, I am sure thou wilt not, my dearest Isabel. For, understand me, regarding this strange mood in my cousin as a thing wholly above my comprehension, and indeed regarding my poor cousin herself as a rapt enthusiast in some wild mystery utterly unknown to me; and unwilling ignorantly to interfere in what almost seems some supernatural thing, I shall not repulse her coming, however violently her friends may seek to stay it. I shall not repulse, as certainly as I have not invited. But a neutral attitude sometimes seems a suspicious one. Now what I mean is this: let all such vague suspicions of me, if any, be confined to Lucy’s friends; but let not such absurd misgivings come near my dearest Isabel, to give the least uneasiness. Isabel! tell me; have I not now said enough to make plain what I mean? Or, indeed, is not all I have said wholly unnecessary; seeing that when one feels deeply conscientious, one is often apt to seem superfluously, and indeed unpleasantly and unbeseemingly scrupulous? Speak, my own Isabel,”—and he stept nearer to her, reaching forth his arm.

“Here’s what I mean, dear Isabel: if Miss Tartan’s friends show their likely disapproval of her unusual decision—if you happen to witness any of that disapproval, you’ll certainly know how to explain it; and I’m sure you won’t take it as a reflection on me in any negative way. No, I know you won’t, my dearest Isabel. You see, I view this strange mood of my cousin’s as something completely beyond my understanding, and I see my poor cousin as someone completely caught up in a wild mystery that I don’t know anything about; and I don’t want to interfere in what seems almost supernatural. I won’t push her away, no matter how hard her friends try to stop her. I won’t push her away, just as I haven’t invited her. But sometimes being neutral can look suspicious. What I mean is: let all vague suspicions about me, if there are any, be directed at Lucy’s friends; but don’t let any silly doubts reach my dearest Isabel, as I wouldn’t want to cause you the slightest worry. Isabel! Tell me; have I made my point clear? Or is everything I’ve said completely unnecessary, considering that someone who feels deeply conscientious can often come across as overly and even uncomfortably scrupulous? Speak, my own Isabel,”—and he stepped closer to her, reaching out his arm.

“Thy hand is the caster’s ladle, Pierre, which holds me entirely fluid. Into thy forms and slightest moods of thought, thou pourest me; and I there solidify to that form, and take it on, and thenceforth wear it, till once more thou moldest me anew. If what thou tellest me be thy thought, then how can I help its being mine, my Pierre?”

“Your hand is the mold, Pierre, that holds me completely fluid. Into your forms and smallest moods of thought, you pour me; and there I solidify into that shape, take it on, and from then on wear it, until you reshape me again. If what you tell me is your thought, then how can I help it becoming mine, my Pierre?”

“The gods made thee of a holyday, when all the common world was done, and shaped thee leisurely in elaborate hours, thou paragon!”

“The gods created you on a holiday when everyone else was done, and formed you slowly over precious hours, you masterpiece!”

So saying, in a burst of admiring love and wonder, Pierre paced the room; while Isabel sat silent, leaning on her hand, and half-vailed with her hair. Delly’s nervous stitches became less convulsive. She seemed soothed; some dark and vague conceit seemed driven out of her by something either directly expressed by Pierre, or inferred from his expressions.

So saying, in a surge of admiration and love, Pierre walked back and forth in the room; while Isabel sat quietly, resting her chin on her hand, half-concealed by her hair. Delly’s anxious stitching became less frantic. She appeared calmed; some dark and unclear thought seemed to fade away, influenced either by something Pierre said directly or by what he conveyed through his expressions.


III.

“Pierre! Pierre!—Quick! Quick!—They are dragging me back!—oh, quick, dear Pierre!”

“Pierre! Pierre!—Hurry! Hurry!—They’re pulling me back!—oh, hurry, dear Pierre!”

“What is that?” swiftly cried Isabel, rising to her feet, and amazedly glancing toward the door leading into the corridor.

“What is that?” Isabel exclaimed quickly, getting to her feet and staring in surprise at the door that led to the corridor.

But Pierre darted from the room, prohibiting any one from following him.

But Pierre dashed out of the room, stopping anyone from following him.

Half-way down the stairs, a slight, airy, almost unearthly figure was clinging to the balluster; and two young men, one in naval uniform, were vainly seeking to remove the two thin white hands without hurting them. They were Glen Stanly, and Frederic, the elder brother of Lucy.

Halfway down the stairs, a delicate, dreamy, almost otherworldly figure was holding onto the banister; and two young men, one in a navy uniform, were unsuccessfully trying to gently take away the two slender white hands without causing any harm. They were Glen Stanly and Frederic, Lucy's older brother.

In a moment, Pierre’s hands were among the rest.

In an instant, Pierre’s hands joined the others.

“Villain!—Damn thee!” cried Frederic; and letting go the hand of his sister, he struck fiercely at Pierre.

“Villain!—Damn you!” yelled Frederic; and releasing his sister's hand, he fiercely swung at Pierre.

But the blow was intercepted by Pierre.

But Pierre blocked the attack.

“Thou hast bewitched, thou damned juggler, the sweetest angel! Defend thyself!”

"You've enchanted her, you cursed trickster, the sweetest angel! Defend yourself!"

“Nay, nay,” cried Glen, catching the drawn rapier of the frantic brother, and holding him in his powerful grasp; “he is unarmed; this is no time or place to settle our feud with him. Thy sister,—sweet Lucy—let us save her first, and then what thou wilt. Pierre Glendinning—if thou art but the little finger of a man—begone with thee from hence! Thy depravity, thy pollutedness, is that of a fiend!—Thou canst not desire this thing:—the sweet girl is mad!”

“Not at all,” shouted Glen, grabbing the frantic brother's drawn sword and holding him firmly; “he’s unarmed; this isn’t the right time or place to deal with him. Your sister—sweet Lucy—let’s save her first, and then do what you want. Pierre Glendinning—if you’re just a weak excuse for a man—get out of here! Your depravity, your corruption, is like that of a fiend! You can’t want this: the sweet girl is insane!”

Pierre stepped back a little, and looked palely and haggardly at all three.

Pierre stepped back a bit and looked pale and worn at all three of them.

“I render no accounts: I am what I am. This sweet girl—this angel whom ye two defile by your touches—she is of age by the law:—she is her own mistress by the law. And now, I swear she shall have her will! Unhand the girl! Let her stand alone. See; she will faint; let her go, I say!” And again his hands were among them.

“I don’t owe anyone any explanations: I am who I am. This sweet girl—this angel that you two are corrupting with your touches—she is of legal age: she is in charge of her own life by the law. And now, I swear she will have what she wants! Let go of the girl! Let her stand on her own. Look; she’s about to faint; let her go, I say!” And again his hands were among them.

Suddenly, as they all, for the one instant vaguely struggled, the pale girl drooped, and fell sideways toward Pierre; and, unprepared for this, the two opposite champions, unconsciously relinquished their hold, tripped, and stumbled against each other, and both fell on the stairs. Snatching Lucy in his arms, Pierre darted from them; gained the door; drove before him Isabel and Delly,—who, affrighted, had been lingering there;—and bursting into the prepared chamber, laid Lucy on her cot; then swiftly turned out of the room, and locked them all three in: and so swiftly—like lightning—was this whole thing done, that not till the lock clicked, did he find Glen and Frederic fiercely fronting him.

Suddenly, as they all briefly struggled, the pale girl slumped and fell sideways towards Pierre; caught off guard, the two opposing champions unintentionally let go of each other, tripped, and fell against one another down the stairs. Grabbing Lucy in his arms, Pierre rushed past them, reached the door, and pushed Isabel and Delly—who were scared and lingering there—ahead of him. Bursting into the prepared room, he laid Lucy on her cot, then quickly exited the room and locked all three of them inside. This happened so fast—like lightning—that it wasn't until he heard the lock click that he noticed Glen and Frederic furiously facing him.

“Gentlemen, it is all over. This door is locked. She is in women’s hands.—Stand back!”

“Gentlemen, it’s all over. This door is locked. She’s in the hands of women.—Step back!”

As the two infuriated young men now caught at him to hurl him aside, several of the Apostles rapidly entered, having been attracted by the noise.

As the two furious young men now grabbed at him to push him aside, several of the Apostles quickly came in, drawn by the commotion.

“Drag them off from me!” cried Pierre. “They are trespassers! drag them off!”

“Get them away from me!” shouted Pierre. “They’re intruders! Get them away!”

Immediately Glen and Frederic were pinioned by twenty hands; and, in obedience to a sign from Pierre, were dragged out of the room, and dragged down stairs; and given into the custody of a passing officer, as two disorderly youths invading the sanctuary of a private retreat.

Immediately, Glen and Frederic were pinned down by twenty hands; and, following a signal from Pierre, they were pulled out of the room and dragged downstairs, then handed over to a passing officer as two unruly young men intruding on a private retreat.

In vain they fiercely expostulated; but at last, as if now aware that nothing farther could be done without some previous legal action, they most reluctantly and chafingly declared themselves ready to depart. Accordingly they were let go; but not without a terrible menace of swift retribution directed to Pierre.

In vain, they argued passionately; but eventually, realizing that nothing more could be done without some legal action first, they reluctantly and irritably agreed to leave. So, they were allowed to go, but not without a serious threat of quick revenge aimed at Pierre.


IV.

HAPPY is the dumb man in the hour of passion. He makes no impulsive threats, and therefore seldom falsifies himself in the transition from choler to calm.

HAPPY is the foolish person in a moment of passion. He doesn’t make rash threats, so he rarely misrepresents himself when moving from anger to calm.

Proceeding into the thoroughfare, after leaving the Apostles’, it was not very long ere Glen and Frederic concluded between themselves, that Lucy could not so easily be rescued by threat or force. The pale, inscrutable determinateness, and flinchless intrepidity of Pierre, now began to domineer upon them; for any social unusualness or greatness is sometimes most impressive in the retrospect. What Pierre had said concerning Lucy’s being her own mistress in the eye of the law; this now recurred to them. After much tribulation of thought, the more collected Glen proposed, that Frederic’s mother should visit the rooms of Pierre; he imagined, that though insensible to their own united intimidations, Lucy might not prove deaf to the maternal prayers. Had Mrs. Tartan been a different woman than she was; had she indeed any disinterested agonies of a generous heart, and not mere match-making mortifications, however poignant; then the hope of Frederic and Glen might have had more likelihood in it. Nevertheless, the experiment was tried, but signally failed.

As they walked down the street after leaving the Apostles’, it didn’t take long for Glen and Frederic to realize that Lucy couldn’t be easily rescued by threats or force. The pale, unreadable determination and fearless bravery of Pierre began to overwhelm them; sometimes, the impact of unusual social situations or greatness is more noticeable in hindsight. What Pierre had said about Lucy being her own master in the eyes of the law now came back to them. After a lot of pondering, the more composed Glen suggested that Frederic’s mother should visit Pierre’s place. He figured that while Lucy might be immune to their combined intimidation, she might still respond to her mother’s pleas. If Mrs. Tartan had been a different person; if she had truly felt the selfless pain of a generous heart, rather than just the typical matchmaking frustrations, then Frederic and Glen might have had a better chance. Still, they gave it a shot, but it ended in failure.

In the combined presence of her mother, Pierre, Isabel, and Delly; and addressing Pierre and Isabel as Mr. and Mrs. Glendinning; Lucy took the most solemn vows upon herself, to reside with her present host and hostess until they should cast her off. In vain her by turns suppliant, and exasperated mother went down on her knees to her, or seemed almost on the point of smiting her; in vain she painted all the scorn and the loathing; sideways hinted of the handsome and gallant Glen; threatened her that in case she persisted, her entire family would renounce her; and though she should be starving, would not bestow one morsel upon such a recreant, and infinitely worse than dishonorable girl.

In the presence of her mother, Pierre, Isabel, and Delly, and addressing Pierre and Isabel as Mr. and Mrs. Glendinning, Lucy made the most serious vows to stay with her current host and hostess until they decided to let her go. Her mother, who alternated between pleading and furious, knelt before her or looked like she was about to hit her; she expressed all her disdain and disgust, hinted at the attractive and charming Glen, and threatened that if Lucy continued, her entire family would disown her. Even if she were starving, they wouldn't give her a single bite for being such a traitor, far worse than dishonorable.

To all this, Lucy—now entirely unmenaced in person—replied in the gentlest and most heavenly manner; yet with a collectedness, and steadfastness, from which there was nothing to hope. What she was doing was not of herself; she had been moved to it by all-encompassing influences above, around, and beneath. She felt no pain for her own condition; her only suffering was sympathetic. She looked for no reward; the essence of well-doing was the consciousness of having done well without the least hope of reward. Concerning the loss of worldly wealth and sumptuousness, and all the brocaded applauses of drawing-rooms; these were no loss to her, for they had always been valueless. Nothing was she now renouncing; but in acting upon her present inspiration she was inheriting every thing. Indifferent to scorn, she craved no pity. As to the question of her sanity, that matter she referred to the verdict of angels, and not to the sordid opinions of man. If any one protested that she was defying the sacred counsels of her mother, she had nothing to answer but this: that her mother possessed all her daughterly deference, but her unconditional obedience was elsewhere due. Let all hope of moving her be immediately, and once for all, abandoned. One only thing could move her; and that would only move her, to make her forever immovable;—that thing was death.

To all this, Lucy—now completely free from any threats—responded in the kindest and most uplifting way; yet with a calmness and determination that offered no hope. What she was doing wasn’t from her own will; she had been influenced by powerful forces above, around, and below. She felt no pain for her own situation; her only suffering was empathetic. She expected no reward; the essence of doing good was simply being aware of having done well without any expectation of reward. Regarding the loss of material wealth and luxury, and all the praise from fancy gatherings; those were meaningless to her, as they had always held no value. She wasn’t giving anything up; by acting on her current inspiration, she was gaining everything. Unmoved by scorn, she didn’t seek pity. As for the question of her mental state, she deferred that judgment to the verdict of angels, not to the petty opinions of humans. If anyone claimed that she was going against her mother’s wise counsel, she had nothing to say except this: that while she honored her mother greatly, her full loyalty was owed elsewhere. Anyone hoping to change her mind should give up immediately and totally. Only one thing could sway her; and that would only lead her to a permanent state of immobility—that thing was death.

Such wonderful strength in such wonderful sweetness; such inflexibility in one so fragile, would have been matter for marvel to any observer. But to her mother it was very much more; for, like many other superficial observers, forming her previous opinion of Lucy upon the slightness of her person, and the dulcetness of her temper, Mrs. Tartan had always imagined that her daughter was quite incapable of any such daring act. As if sterling heavenliness were incompatible with heroicness. These two are never found apart. Nor, though Pierre knew more of Lucy than any one else, did this most singular behavior in her fail to amaze him. Seldom even had the mystery of Isabel fascinated him more, with a fascination partaking of the terrible. The mere bodily aspect of Lucy, as changed by her more recent life, filled him with the most powerful and novel emotions. That unsullied complexion of bloom was now entirely gone, without being any way replaced by sallowness, as is usual in similar instances. And as if her body indeed were the temple of God, and marble indeed were the only fit material for so holy a shrine, a brilliant, supernatural whiteness now gleamed in her cheek. Her head sat on her shoulders as a chiseled statue’s head; and the soft, firm light in her eye seemed as much a prodigy, as though a chiseled statue should give token of vision and intelligence.

Such incredible strength in such incredible sweetness; such toughness in someone so delicate would amaze any observer. But for her mother, it meant even more; like many superficial observers who judged Lucy based on her petite build and sweet nature, Mrs. Tartan had always thought her daughter was completely incapable of any daring act. As if pure goodness couldn’t coexist with heroism. These two are never found apart. And even though Pierre knew more about Lucy than anyone else, her unusual behavior still astonished him. Rarely had the mystery of Isabel captivated him more, with a fascination that bordered on the terrifying. The mere physical change in Lucy, due to her recent experiences, stirred powerful and new emotions within him. That once-flawless complexion was now entirely gone, without being replaced by the usual pallor often seen in similar situations. As if her body truly was the temple of God, and only marble was suitable for such a holy shrine, a brilliant, otherworldly whiteness now shone in her cheek. Her head rested on her shoulders like the head of a finely carved statue; and the soft, intense light in her eye seemed as much a miracle as if a chiseled statue showed signs of vision and understanding.

Isabel also was most strangely moved by this sweet unearthliness in the aspect of Lucy. But it did not so much persuade her by any common appeals to her heart, as irrespectively commend her by the very signet of heaven. In the deference with which she ministered to Lucy’s little occasional wants, there was more of blank spontaneousness than compassionate voluntariness. And when it so chanced, that—owing perhaps to some momentary jarring of the distant and lonely guitar—as Lucy was so mildly speaking in the presence of her mother, a sudden, just audible, submissively answering musical, stringed tone, came through the open door from the adjoining chamber; then Isabel, as if seized by some spiritual awe, fell on her knees before Lucy, and made a rapid gesture of homage; yet still, somehow, as it were, without evidence of voluntary will.

Isabel was strangely moved by Lucy's sweet otherworldliness. However, it didn't persuade her through any common emotional appeals; instead, it felt like a sign from heaven. In the way she attended to Lucy’s small needs, there was more of a reflexive spontaneity than a willing compassion. And when, perhaps due to a momentary clash of the distant and lonely guitar, Lucy was softly speaking in front of her mother, a sudden, barely audible, soft musical tone responded from the next room. In that moment, as if overcome by a spiritual awe, Isabel dropped to her knees before Lucy and made a quick gesture of reverence, yet somehow it seemed done without any conscious choice.

Finding all her most ardent efforts ineffectual, Mrs. Tartan now distressedly motioned to Pierre and Isabel to quit the chamber, that she might urge her entreaties and menaces in private. But Lucy gently waved them to stay; and then turned to her mother. Henceforth she had no secrets but those which would also be secrets in heaven. Whatever was publicly known in heaven, should be publicly known on earth. There was no slightest secret between her and her mother.

Finding all her greatest efforts ineffective, Mrs. Tartan now anxiously signaled to Pierre and Isabel to leave the room so she could press her pleas and threats in private. But Lucy gently gestured for them to stay; then she turned to her mother. From now on, she had no secrets except those that would also be secrets in heaven. Whatever was known publicly in heaven should be known publicly on earth. There was not the slightest secret between her and her mother.

Wholly confounded by this inscrutableness of her so alienated and infatuated daughter, Mrs. Tartan turned inflamedly upon Pierre, and bade him follow her forth. But again Lucy said nay, there were no secrets between her mother and Pierre. She would anticipate every thing there. Calling for pen and paper, and a book to hold on her knee and write, she traced the following lines, and reached them to her mother:

Wholly baffled by the mystery of her distant and infatuated daughter, Mrs. Tartan turned angrily to Pierre and told him to follow her outside. But once again, Lucy refused, saying that there were no secrets between her mother and Pierre. She would reveal everything there. Calling for pen and paper, and a book to hold on her lap to write, she wrote the following lines and handed them to her mother:

“I am Lucy Tartan. I have come to dwell during their pleasure with Mr. and Mrs. Pierre Glendinning, of my own unsolicited free-will. If they desire it, I shall go; but no other power shall remove me, except by violence; and against any violence I have the ordinary appeal to the law.”

“I’m Lucy Tartan. I’ve chosen to stay with Mr. and Mrs. Pierre Glendinning for my own reasons. If they want me to leave, I will; but no one can force me out unless they use violence, and I can always rely on the law to protect me against that.”

“Read this, madam,” said Mrs. Tartan, tremblingly handing it to Isabel, and eying her with a passionate and disdainful significance.

“Read this, ma'am,” said Mrs. Tartan, nervously handing it to Isabel, and looking at her with a mix of intense emotion and contempt.

“I have read it,” said Isabel, quietly, after a glance, and handing it to Pierre, as if by that act to show, that she had no separate decision in the matter.

“I’ve read it,” Isabel said softly after a quick look, handing it to Pierre, as if by doing so she was showing that she had no personal decision in the matter.

“And do you, sir, too, indirectly connive?” said Mrs. Tartan to Pierre, when he had read it.

“And do you, sir, also turn a blind eye?” said Mrs. Tartan to Pierre, after he had read it.

“I render no accounts, madam. This seems to be the written and final calm will of your daughter. As such, you had best respect it, and depart.”

“I don’t owe you any explanations, madam. This appears to be the clear and final wish of your daughter. So, it’s best if you respect it and leave.”

Mrs. Tartan glanced despairingly and incensedly about her; then fixing her eyes on her daughter, spoke.

Mrs. Tartan looked around her in frustration and anger; then she fixed her gaze on her daughter and spoke.

“Girl! here where I stand, I forever cast thee off. Never more shalt thou be vexed by my maternal entreaties. I shall instruct thy brothers to disown thee; I shall instruct Glen Stanly to banish thy worthless image from his heart, if banished thence it be not already by thine own incredible folly and depravity. For thee, Mr. Monster! the judgment of God will overtake thee for this. And for thee, madam, I have no words for the woman who will connivingly permit her own husband’s paramour to dwell beneath her roof. For thee, frail one,” (to Delly), “thou needest no amplification.—A nest of vileness! And now, surely, whom God himself hath abandoned forever, a mother may quit, never more to revisit.”

"Girl! Here I stand, and I will forever reject you. You will never again be troubled by my motherly pleas. I’ll tell your brothers to disown you; I'll tell Glen Stanly to erase your worthless image from his heart, if it hasn't already been driven out by your own incredible foolishness and depravity. As for you, Mr. Monster! God's judgment will catch up with you for this. And for you, madam, I have no words for the woman who cunningly allows her husband's lover to live under her roof. As for you, weak one," (to Delly), "you don't need any further explanation.—A pit of disgustingness! And now, surely, whom God himself has abandoned forever, a mother can leave behind, never to return."

This parting maternal malediction seemed to work no visibly corresponding effect upon Lucy; already she was so marble-white, that fear could no more blanch her, if indeed fear was then at all within her heart. For as the highest, and purest, and thinnest ether remains unvexed by all the tumults of the inferior air; so that transparent ether of her cheek, that clear mild azure of her eye, showed no sign of passion, as her terrestrial mother stormed below. Helpings she had from unstirring arms; glimpses she caught of aid invisible; sustained she was by those high powers of immortal Love, that once siding with the weakest reed which the utmost tempest tosses; then that utmost tempest shall be broken down before the irresistible resistings of that weakest reed.

This mother’s curse didn’t seem to affect Lucy at all; she was already so pale that fear couldn’t drain her color any further, if she even felt fear in her heart at all. Just like the highest, purest, and thinnest ether stays calm amidst the chaos of the lower air, the clear, gentle blue of her cheek and the calm, serene color of her eye showed no sign of emotion while her earthly mother raged below. She was being supported by steady arms; she caught glimpses of unseen help; she was sustained by the higher powers of eternal Love, which once stood by the weakest reed tossed by the fiercest storm; and when that fiercest storm rises, it will be broken down by the unyielding resistance of that weakest reed.

BOOK XXV.
LUCY, ISABEL, AND PIERRE. PIERRE AT HIS BOOK. ENCELADUS.

I.

A DAY or two after the arrival of Lucy, when she had quite recovered from any possible ill-effects of recent events,—events conveying such a shock to both Pierre and Isabel,—though to each in a quite different way,—but not, apparently, at least, moving Lucy so intensely—as they were all three sitting at coffee, Lucy expressed her intention to practice her crayon art professionally. It would be so pleasant an employment for her, besides contributing to their common fund. Pierre well knew her expertness in catching likenesses, and judiciously and truthfully beautifying them; not by altering the features so much, as by steeping them in a beautifying atmosphere. For even so, said Lucy, thrown into the Lagoon, and there beheld—as I have heard—the roughest stones, without transformation, put on the softest aspects. If Pierre would only take a little trouble to bring sitters to her room, she doubted not a fine harvest of heads might easily be secured. Certainly, among the numerous inmates of the old Church, Pierre must know many who would have no objections to being sketched. Moreover, though as yet she had had small opportunity to see them; yet among such a remarkable company of poets, philosophers, and mystics of all sorts, there must be some striking heads. In conclusion, she expressed her satisfaction at the chamber prepared for her, inasmuch as having been formerly the studio of an artist, one window had been considerably elevated, while by a singular arrangement of the interior shutters, the light could in any direction be thrown about at will.

A DAY or two after Lucy arrived and had fully recuperated from any lingering effects of recent events—events that had shocked both Pierre and Isabel, though in very different ways—Lucy, seemingly unaffected, mentioned while they were having coffee that she wanted to pursue her crayon art professionally. It would be a nice way for her to spend her time and would also help contribute to their shared finances. Pierre was well aware of her talent for capturing likenesses and enhancing them not by changing the features but by enveloping them in a flattering aura. As Lucy put it, when thrown into the Lagoon, even the roughest stones can appear soft and beautiful without changing at all. If Pierre would just take a bit of initiative to bring people to her room, she was confident that she could easily gather a great collection of portraits. Surely, with so many residents at the old Church, Pierre must know plenty who wouldn’t mind being sketched. Furthermore, even though she had only had limited interactions with them so far, among such an impressive group of poets, philosophers, and various mystics, there had to be some striking faces. In conclusion, she expressed her happiness with the room prepared for her, noting that it had previously been the studio of an artist. One window was quite high, and thanks to a unique arrangement of the interior shutters, the light could be directed in any direction as needed.

Already Pierre had anticipated something of this sort; the first sight of the easel having suggested it to him. His reply was therefore not wholly unconsidered. He said, that so far as she herself was concerned, the systematic practice of her art at present would certainly be a great advantage in supplying her with a very delightful occupation. But since she could hardly hope for any patronage from her mother’s fashionable and wealthy associates; indeed, as such a thing must be very far from her own desires; and as it was only from the Apostles she could—for some time to come, at least—reasonably anticipate sitters; and as those Apostles were almost universally a very forlorn and penniless set—though in truth there were some wonderfully rich-looking heads among them—therefore, Lucy must not look for much immediate pecuniary emolument. Ere long she might indeed do something very handsome; but at the outset, it was well to be moderate in her expectations. This admonishment came, modifiedly, from that certain stoic, dogged mood of Pierre, born of his recent life, which taught him never to expect any good from any thing; but always to anticipate ill; however not in unreadiness to meet the contrary; and then, if good came, so much the better. He added that he would that very morning go among the rooms and corridors of the Apostles, familiarly announcing that his cousin, a lady-artist in crayons, occupied a room adjoining his, where she would be very happy to receive any sitters.

Already, Pierre had expected something like this; the first sight of the easel had hinted at it. His response wasn't completely thoughtless. He said that, as far as she was concerned, consistently practicing her art right now would definitely give her a wonderful way to spend her time. But since she could hardly count on any support from her mother's trendy and affluent friends; in fact, such a thing was probably far from what she wanted; and since she could only realistically expect sitters from the Apostles—for some time at least; and given that those Apostles were generally a pretty down-and-out group—though there were indeed some strikingly wealthy-looking faces among them—Lucy shouldn't expect much immediate financial gain. Soon enough, she might achieve something quite impressive, but at the start, it was best to keep her expectations in check. This advice stemmed, in part, from Pierre's recently developed stoic attitude, which taught him to never expect anything good from anything; rather, always to anticipate the worst—though he was ready to embrace the opposite if it came along; and then, if something good happened, it was just a bonus. He added that he would go around the rooms and hallways of the Apostles that very morning, casually announcing that his cousin, a female artist who works with crayons, was in a room next to his and would be more than happy to take any sitters.

“And now, Lucy, what shall be the terms? That is a very important point, thou knowest.”

“And now, Lucy, what will the terms be? That’s a really important point, you know.”

“I suppose, Pierre, they must be very low,” said Lucy, looking at him meditatively.

“I guess, Pierre, they must be really low,” Lucy said, looking at him thoughtfully.

“Very low, Lucy; very low, indeed.”

“Very low, Lucy; very low, for sure.”

“Well, ten dollars, then.”

“Okay, ten bucks, then.”

“Ten Banks of England, Lucy!” exclaimed Pierre. “Why, Lucy, that were almost a quarter’s income for some of the Apostles!”

“Ten Banks of England, Lucy!” Pierre exclaimed. “Wow, Lucy, that’s almost a quarter’s income for some of the Apostles!”

“Four dollars, Pierre.”

“Four bucks, Pierre.”

“I will tell thee now, Lucy—but first, how long does it take to complete one portrait?”

“I'll tell you now, Lucy—but first, how long does it take to finish one portrait?”

“Two sittings; and two mornings’ work by myself, Pierre.”

“Two sessions; and two mornings’ work on my own, Pierre.”

“And let me see; what are thy materials? They are not very costly, I believe. ’Tis not like cutting glass,—thy tools must not be pointed with diamonds, Lucy?”

“And let me see; what are your materials? They aren’t very expensive, I believe. It’s not like cutting glass—your tools shouldn’t be tipped with diamonds, Lucy?”

“See, Pierre!” said Lucy, holding out her little palm, “see; this handful of charcoal, a bit of bread, a crayon or two, and a square of paper:—that is all.”

“Look, Pierre!” said Lucy, holding out her small hand, “look; this handful of charcoal, a piece of bread, a couple of crayons, and a sheet of paper:—that’s all.”

“Well, then, thou shalt charge one-seventy-five for a portrait.”

"Well, then, you will charge one-seventy-five for a portrait."

“Only one-seventy-five, Pierre?”

"Only $1.75, Pierre?"

“I am half afraid now we have set it far too high, Lucy. Thou must not be extravagant. Look: if thy terms were ten dollars, and thou didst crayon on trust; then thou wouldst have plenty of sitters, but small returns. But if thou puttest thy terms right-down, and also sayest thou must have thy cash right-down too—don’t start so at that cash—then not so many sitters to be sure, but more returns. Thou understandest.”

"I’m a bit worried we’ve set the price too high, Lucy. You can’t be extravagant. Look, if your fee was ten dollars and you let people pay later, you’d have lots of clients but not much profit. But if you set your price firmly and also say you need to be paid upfront—don’t be shocked at that cash—then you might have fewer clients, but you’ll make more money. You get what I mean."

“It shall be just as thou say’st, Pierre.”

"It will be just as you say, Pierre."

“Well, then, I will write a card for thee, stating thy terms; and put it up conspicuously in thy room, so that every Apostle may know what he has to expect.”

"Well, then, I’ll write a card for you, outlining your terms, and put it up clearly in your room, so that every Apostle knows what to expect."

“Thank thee, thank thee, cousin Pierre,” said Lucy, rising. “I rejoice at thy pleasant and not entirely unhopeful view of my poor little plan. But I must be doing something; I must be earning money. See, I have eaten ever so much bread this morning, but have not earned one penny.”

“Thank you, thank you, cousin Pierre,” said Lucy, standing up. “I’m glad to hear your positive and somewhat hopeful take on my little plan. But I need to be doing something; I need to earn money. Look, I’ve eaten a lot of bread this morning, but I haven’t made a single penny.”

With a humorous sadness Pierre measured the large remainder of the one only piece she had touched, and then would have spoken banteringly to her; but she had slid away into her own room.

With a funny sadness, Pierre measured the big leftover piece she had touched, and then he would have joked with her; but she had slipped away into her own room.

He was presently roused from the strange revery into which the conclusion of this scene had thrown him, by the touch of Isabel’s hand upon his knee, and her large expressive glance upon his face. During all the foregoing colloquy, she had remained entirely silent; but an unoccupied observer would perhaps have noticed, that some new and very strong emotions were restrainedly stirring within her.

He was brought back from the strange daydream caused by the end of this scene when Isabel touched his knee and looked at him with her large, expressive eyes. Throughout the whole conversation, she had stayed completely silent, but a casual observer might have noticed that some new and very strong emotions were quietly stirring inside her.

“Pierre!” she said, intently bending over toward him.

“Pierre!” she said, leaning in close to him.

“Well, well, Isabel,” stammeringly replied Pierre; while a mysterious color suffused itself over his whole face, neck, and brow; and involuntarily he started a little back from her self-proffering form.

“Well, well, Isabel,” Pierre stammered, a mysterious flush spreading across his face, neck, and forehead; he involuntarily leaned back a bit from her outstretched arm.

Arrested by this movement Isabel eyed him fixedly; then slowly rose, and with immense mournful stateliness, drew herself up, and said: “If thy sister can ever come too nigh to thee, Pierre, tell thy sister so, beforehand; for the September sun draws not up the valley-vapor more jealously from the disdainful earth, than my secret god shall draw me up from thee, if ever I can come too nigh to thee.”

Arrested by this movement, Isabel stared at him intently; then she slowly stood up, and with great, sad dignity, straightened herself and said: “If your sister ever gets too close to you, Pierre, let her know in advance; because just like the September sun pulls the valley mist up from the proud earth, my hidden god will pull me away from you if I ever get too close.”

Thus speaking, one hand was on her bosom, as if resolutely feeling of something deadly there concealed; but, riveted by her general manner more than by her particular gesture, Pierre, at the instant, did not so particularly note the all-significant movement of the hand upon her bosom, though afterward he recalled it, and darkly and thoroughly comprehended its meaning.

Thus speaking, one hand was on her chest, as if she was firmly sensing something deadly hidden there; but, captivated more by her overall demeanor than by her specific gesture, Pierre, at that moment, didn’t pay much attention to the significant movement of her hand on her chest, though later he remembered it and deeply understood its meaning.

“Too nigh to me, Isabel? Sun or dew, thou fertilizest me! Can sunbeams or drops of dew come too nigh the thing they warm and water? Then sit down by me, Isabel, and sit close; wind in within my ribs,—if so thou canst,—that my one frame may be the continent of two.”

“Is it too close for me, Isabel? Sun or dew, you bring me to life! Can sunlight or raindrops ever be too near the things they warm and nourish? Then come sit by me, Isabel, and sit close; draw in within my ribs—if you can—so that my body can be the land of two.”

“Fine feathers make fine birds, so I have heard,” said Isabel, most bitterly—“but do fine sayings always make fine deeds? Pierre, thou didst but just now draw away from me!”

“Great appearances make great people, or so I've heard,” said Isabel, quite bitterly—“but do great words always lead to great actions? Pierre, you just pulled away from me!”

“When we would most dearly embrace, we first throw back our arms, Isabel; I but drew away, to draw so much the closer to thee.”

“When we really want to hold each other close, we first pull our arms back, Isabel; I only stepped away to get that much closer to you.”

“Well; all words are arrant skirmishers; deeds are the army’s self! be it as thou sayest. I yet trust to thee.—Pierre.”

“Well, all words are just empty talk; actions are what really count! If that's what you think, then fine. I still trust you.—Pierre.”

“My breath waits thine; what is it, Isabel?”

“My breath is waiting for you; what is it, Isabel?”

“I have been more blockish than a block; I am mad to think of it! More mad, that her great sweetness should first remind me of mine own stupidity. But she shall not get the start of me! Pierre, some way I must work for thee! See, I will sell this hair; have these teeth pulled out; but some way I will earn money for thee!”

“I’ve been more clueless than a rock; it drives me crazy to think about it! Even crazier that her kindness made me realize my own foolishness. But I won’t let her get ahead of me! Pierre, I have to find a way to work for you! Look, I’ll sell this hair; I’ll get these teeth pulled out; somehow, I’ll earn money for you!”

Pierre now eyed her startledly. Touches of a determinate meaning shone in her; some hidden thing was deeply wounded in her. An affectionate soothing syllable was on his tongue; his arm was out; when shifting his expression, he whisperingly and alarmedly exclaimed—“Hark! she is coming.—Be still.”

Pierre now looked at her in surprise. There was a glimpse of a definite meaning in her; something hidden was deeply hurt in her. He had a comforting word ready to say; his arm reached out; as he changed his expression, he quietly and anxiously exclaimed, “Listen! She’s coming. - Be quiet.”

But rising boldly, Isabel threw open the connecting door, exclaiming half-hysterically—“Look, Lucy; here is the strangest husband; fearful of being caught speaking to his wife!”

But standing up confidently, Isabel swung open the connecting door, saying half-hysterically—“Look, Lucy; here’s the strangest husband; afraid of being caught talking to his wife!”

With an artist’s little box before her—whose rattling, perhaps, had startled Pierre—Lucy was sitting midway in her room, opposite the opened door; so that at that moment, both Pierre and Isabel were plainly visible to her. The singular tone of Isabel’s voice instantly caused her to look up intently. At once, a sudden irradiation of some subtile intelligence—but whether welcome to her, or otherwise, could not be determined—shot over her whole aspect. She murmured some vague random reply; and then bent low over her box, saying she was very busy.

With an artist's little box in front of her—whose rattling might have startled Pierre—Lucy was sitting in the middle of her room, facing the open door; at that moment, both Pierre and Isabel were clearly visible to her. The unusual tone of Isabel's voice immediately made her look up closely. Suddenly, a flash of some hidden understanding—though whether it was good or bad for her was unclear—passed over her entire face. She mumbled some vague, random reply, then leaned down over her box, saying she was very busy.

Isabel closed the door, and sat down again by Pierre. Her countenance wore a mixed and writhing, impatient look. She seemed as one in whom the most powerful emotion of life is caught in inextricable toils of circumstances, and while longing to disengage itself, still knows that all struggles will prove worse than vain; and so, for the moment, grows madly reckless and defiant of all obstacles. Pierre trembled as he gazed upon her. But soon the mood passed from her; her old, sweet mournfulness returned; again the clear unfathomableness was in her mystic eye.

Isabel closed the door and sat down again next to Pierre. Her expression was a mix of confusion and impatience. She seemed like someone trapped by overwhelming emotions and tangled in circumstances, wanting to break free but knowing that fighting against it would only make things worse. In that moment, she became wildly defiant, disregarding all obstacles. Pierre trembled as he looked at her. But soon, her mood shifted; her familiar, gentle sadness returned, and once again, her mystical gaze held a deep, unfathomable quality.

“Pierre, ere now,—ere I ever knew thee—I have done mad things, which I have never been conscious of, but in the dim recalling. I hold such things no things of mine. What I now remember, as just now done, was one of them.”

“Pierre, before now—before I ever knew you—I’ve done crazy things that I’ve never really been aware of, only vaguely remembered. I don’t consider those things as part of me. What I now recall, as if it just happened, was one of them.”

“Thou hast done nothing but shown thy strength, while I have shown my weakness, Isabel;—yes, to the whole world thou art my wife—to her, too, thou art my wife. Have I not told her so, myself? I was weaker than a kitten, Isabel; and thou, strong as those high things angelical, from which utmost beauty takes not strength.”

“You’ve only shown your strength, while I’ve shown my weakness, Isabel;—yes, to the whole world, you are my wife—to her, too, you are my wife. Haven’t I told her that myself? I was weaker than a kitten, Isabel; and you, as strong as those heavenly beings, from which true beauty doesn’t take strength.”

“Pierre, once such syllables from thee, were all refreshing, and bedewing to me; now, though they drop as warmly and as fluidly from thee, yet falling through another and an intercepting zone, they freeze on the way, and clatter on my heart like hail, Pierre.—— Thou didst not speak thus to her!”

“Pierre, your words used to feel so refreshing and comforting to me; now, even though they flow from you just as warmly, they pass through a different zone and freeze on the way, hitting my heart like hail, Pierre. You didn’t speak like this to her!”

“She is not Isabel.”

"She's not Isabel."

The girl gazed at him with a quick and piercing scrutiny; then looked quite calm, and spoke. “My guitar, Pierre: thou know’st how complete a mistress I am of it; now, before thou gettest sitters for the portrait-sketcher, thou shalt get pupils for the music-teacher. Wilt thou?” and she looked at him with a persuasiveness and touchingness, which to Pierre, seemed more than mortal.

The girl looked at him with a quick and intense stare; then became quite calm and spoke. “My guitar, Pierre: you know how skilled I am with it; now, before you find models for the portrait artist, you should find students for the music teacher. Will you?” And she looked at him with a charm and emotion that, to Pierre, felt almost otherworldly.

“My poor poor, Isabel!” cried Pierre; “thou art the mistress of the natural sweetness of the guitar, not of its invented regulated artifices; and these are all that the silly pupil will pay for learning. And what thou hast can not be taught. Ah, thy sweet ignorance is all transporting to me! my sweet, my sweet!—dear, divine girl!” And impulsively he caught her in his arms.

“My poor, poor Isabel!” cried Pierre. “You have the natural sweetness of the guitar, not the artificial tricks that everyone else is paying to learn. What you have can’t be taught. Ah, your sweet ignorance is completely enchanting to me! My sweet, my sweet—dear, divine girl!” And without thinking, he pulled her into his arms.

While the first fire of his feeling plainly glowed upon him, but ere he had yet caught her to him, Isabel had backward glided close to the connecting door; which, at the instant of his embrace, suddenly opened, as by its own volition.

While the initial spark of his feelings clearly showed on him, just before he could pull her close, Isabel had smoothly glided back to the connecting door; which, the moment he reached out to embrace her, swung open as if it had a mind of its own.

Before the eyes of seated Lucy, Pierre and Isabel stood locked; Pierre’s lips upon her cheek.

Before Lucy, who was sitting, Pierre and Isabel were locked in place; Pierre's lips were on her cheek.


II.

NOTWITHSTANDING the maternal visit of Mrs. Tartan, and the peremptoriness with which it had been closed by her declared departure never to return, and her vow to teach all Lucy’s relatives and friends, and Lucy’s own brothers, and her suitor, to disown her, and forget her; yet Pierre fancied that he knew too much in general of the human heart, and too much in particular of the character of both Glen and Frederic, to remain entirely untouched by disquietude, concerning what those two fiery youths might now be plotting against him, as the imagined monster, by whose infernal tricks Lucy Tartan was supposed to have been seduced from every earthly seemliness. Not happily, but only so much the more gloomily, did he augur from the fact, that Mrs. Tartan had come to Lucy unattended; and that Glen and Frederic had let eight-and-forty hours and more go by, without giving the slightest hostile or neutral sign. At first he thought, that bridling their impulsive fierceness, they were resolved to take the slower, but perhaps the surer method, to wrest Lucy back to them, by instituting some legal process. But this idea was repulsed by more than one consideration.

NOTWITHSTANDING the visit from Mrs. Tartan, and the way she had abruptly ended it by declaring she would never return and her vow to teach all of Lucy’s relatives, friends, and even her brothers and suitor, to disown and forget her; Pierre believed he understood too much about human nature in general, and about Glen and Frederic in particular, to not feel uneasy about what those two hot-headed young men might now be scheming against him, as the imagined villain, responsible for the supposed seduction of Lucy Tartan from all propriety. He was not particularly happy, and only more gloomy, about the fact that Mrs. Tartan had visited Lucy alone; and that Glen and Frederic had let more than forty-eight hours pass without showing any sign of hostility or neutrality. Initially, he thought that by restraining their impulsive aggression, they were determined to take the slower, but possibly more effective approach of trying to legally reclaim Lucy. However, this idea was quickly dismissed by various considerations.

Not only was Frederic of that sort of temper, peculiar to military men, which would prompt him, in so closely personal and intensely private and family a matter, to scorn the hireling publicity of the law’s lingering arm; and impel him, as by the furiousness of fire, to be his own righter and avenger; for, in him, it was perhaps quite as much the feeling of an outrageous family affront to himself, through Lucy, as her own presumed separate wrong, however black, which stung him to the quick: not only were these things so respecting Frederic; but concerning Glen, Pierre well knew, that be Glen heartless as he might, to do a deed of love, Glen was not heartless to do a deed of hate; that though, on that memorable night of his arrival in the city, Glen had heartlessly closed his door upon him, yet now Glen might heartfully burst Pierre’s open, if by that he at all believed, that permanent success would crown the fray.

Frederic had that typical military temperament which made him want to avoid the public scrutiny of the law in such a personal and private family issue. It drove him, almost like a fierce fire, to seek justice and revenge on his own; for him, it was likely just as much about the deep insult to his family through Lucy as it was about her own perceived wrongs, no matter how severe, that hurt him deeply. Not only did this apply to Frederic, but Pierre also understood that even if Glen was heartless, he wasn’t incapable of acts of love; he would still refuse to perform any acts of hate. Although Glen had coldly shut the door on him the night he arrived in the city, he might now passionately open his door to Pierre if he believed that victory was possible in their conflict.

Besides, Pierre knew this;—that so invincible is the natural, untamable, latent spirit of a courageous manliness in man, that though now socially educated for thousands of years in an arbitrary homage to the Law, as the one only appointed redress for every injured person; yet immemorially and universally, among all gentlemen of spirit, once to have uttered independent personal threats of personal vengeance against your foe, and then, after that, to fall back slinking into a court, and hire with sops a pack of yelping pettifoggers to fight the battle so valiantly proclaimed; this, on the surface, is ever deemed very decorous, and very prudent—a most wise second thought; but, at bottom, a miserably ignoble thing. Frederic was not the watery man for that,—Glen had more grapey blood in him.

Besides, Pierre knew this: the natural, untamable spirit of courageous manliness in a man is so strong that, even after being socially educated for thousands of years to believe in the Law as the only way to seek justice for those wronged, it has been a long-standing belief among all spirited gentlemen that once you declare your intention for personal revenge against your enemy, sliding back to a court to hire a bunch of annoying lawyers to fight the battle you once boldly proclaimed is seen on the surface as proper and wise—a very sensible second thought; but deep down, it's a pitifully dishonorable thing. Frederic was not the kind of man for that—Glen had more guts in him.

Moreover, it seemed quite clear to Pierre, that only by making out Lucy absolutely mad, and striving to prove it by a thousand despicable little particulars, could the law succeed in tearing her from the refuge she had voluntarily sought; a course equally abhorrent to all the parties possibly to be concerned on either side.

Moreover, it was pretty clear to Pierre that only by completely driving Lucy insane and trying to prove it with a thousand petty little details could the law succeed in ripping her away from the refuge she had willingly chosen; a course that was equally repulsive to everyone involved on either side.

What then would those two boiling bloods do? Perhaps they would patrol the streets; and at the first glimpse of lonely Lucy, kidnap her home. Or if Pierre were with her, then, smite him down by hook or crook, fair play or foul; and then, away with Lucy! Or if Lucy systematically kept her room, then fall on Pierre in the most public way, fell him, and cover him from all decent recognition beneath heaps on heaps of hate and insult; so that broken on the wheel of such dishonor, Pierre might feel himself unstrung, and basely yield the prize.

What would those two heated rivals do? Maybe they would patrol the streets and, at the first sight of lonely Lucy, take her away. Or if Pierre was with her, then they would attack him by any means necessary, fair or foul, and then whisk Lucy away! Or if Lucy stayed in her room, they might confront Pierre in a very public way, bring him down, and bury him under a mountain of hate and insults, so that crushed by such shame, Pierre would feel defeated and give up the prize.

Not the gibbering of ghosts in any old haunted house; no sulphurous and portentous sign at night beheld in heaven, will so make the hair to stand, as when a proud and honorable man is revolving in his soul the possibilities of some gross public and corporeal disgrace. It is not fear; it is a pride-horror, which is more terrible than any fear. Then, by tremendous imagery, the murderer’s mark of Cain is felt burning on the brow, and the already acquitted knife blood-rusts in the clutch of the anticipating hand.

Not the chattering of ghosts in any old haunted house; no ominous and sulfurous sign seen at night in the sky will make your hair stand on end quite like a proud and honorable person grappling with the potential for a severe public disgrace. It’s not just fear; it’s a horror rooted in pride, which is even more terrifying than fear itself. Then, through intense imagery, the mark of Cain feels like it’s searing on the forehead, and the knife that has already been cleared feels rusty with blood in the grip of the anxious hand.

Certain that those two youths must be plotting something furious against him; with the echoes of their scorning curses on the stairs still ringing in his ears—curses, whose swift responses from himself, he, at the time, had had much ado to check;—thoroughly alive to the supernaturalism of that mad frothing hate which a spirited brother forks forth at the insulter of a sister’s honor—beyond doubt the most uncompromising of all the social passions known to man—and not blind to the anomalous fact, that if such a brother stab his foe at his own mother’s table, all people and all juries would bear him out, accounting every thing allowable to a noble soul made mad by a sweet sister’s shame caused by a damned seducer;—imagining to himself his own feelings, if he were actually in the position which Frederic so vividly fancied to be his; remembering that in love matters jealousy is as an adder, and that the jealousy of Glen was double-addered by the extraordinary malice of the apparent circumstances under which Lucy had spurned Glen’s arms, and fled to his always successful and now married rival, as if wantonly and shamelessly to nestle there;—remembering all these intense incitements of both those foes of his, Pierre could not but look forward to wild work very soon to come. Nor was the storm of passion in his soul unratified by the decision of his coolest possible hour. Storm and calm both said to him,—Look to thyself, oh Pierre!

Certain that those two guys were definitely plotting something intense against him, with the echoes of their mocking curses on the stairs still ringing in his ears—curses that he had a hard time holding back at the moment—completely aware of the crazed, passionate anger that a protective brother can unleash at anyone who disrespects his sister’s honor—without a doubt the most uncompromising of all human social emotions—and realizing the strange fact that if such a brother were to attack his enemy at their mother’s dinner table, everyone, including juries, would defend him, considering all actions justifiable for a noble man driven mad by his sister’s shame caused by a damn seducer;—imagining his own feelings if he were actually in the position that Frederic so vividly envisioned for himself; remembering that in matters of love, jealousy is like a snake, and that Glen's jealousy was made worse by the particularly cruel circumstances under which Lucy had rejected Glen and ran to his always successful and now married rival, as if she were wantonly and shamelessly seeking comfort there;—remembering all these intense triggers from both his enemies, Pierre could only anticipate the wild events soon to unfold. The storm of passion within him was no less confirmed by his calmest moments. Both the storm and the calm warned him—Look out for yourself, oh Pierre!

Murders are done by maniacs; but the earnest thoughts of murder, these are the collected desperadoes. Pierre was such; fate, or what you will, had made him such. But such he was. And when these things now swam before him; when he thought of all the ambiguities which hemmed him in; the stony walls all round that he could not overleap; the million aggravations of his most malicious lot; the last lingering hope of happiness licked up from him as by flames of fire, and his one only prospect a black, bottomless gulf of guilt, upon whose verge he imminently teetered every hour;—then the utmost hate of Glen and Frederic were jubilantly welcome to him; and murder, done in the act of warding off their ignominious public blow, seemed the one only congenial sequel to such a desperate career.

Murders are committed by crazies; but the serious thoughts of murder, those are the gathered outlaws. Pierre was one of them; destiny, or whatever you want to call it, had made him that way. But that's who he was. And as these thoughts now swirled around him; as he considered all the uncertainties that trapped him; the solid walls around him that he couldn't jump over; the countless irritations of his miserable life; the last fading hope of happiness consumed by flames, leaving him with the only prospect of a dark, endless pit of guilt, where he teetered on the edge every hour;—then the deepest hatred for Glen and Frederic felt like a welcome relief to him; and murder, done to defend against their humiliating public attack, seemed like the only fitting end to such a desperate path.


III.

AS a statue, planted on a revolving pedestal, shows now this limb, now that; now front, now back, now side; continually changing, too, its general profile; so does the pivoted, statued soul of man, when turned by the hand of Truth. Lies only never vary; look for no invariableness in Pierre. Nor does any canting showman here stand by to announce his phases as he revolves. Catch his phases as your insight may.

AS statue on a rotating pedestal displays one limb, then another; sometimes facing forward, sometimes backward, and at times sideways; constantly altering its overall shape. Similarly, the soul of a person shifts when guided by the hand of Truth. Only lies remain unchanged; don't expect consistency from Pierre. And there’s no flashy showman here to announce his transformations as he turns. Observe his changes as best as you can.

Another day passed on; Glen and Frederic still absenting themselves, and Pierre and Isabel and Lucy all dwelling together. The domestic presence of Lucy had begun to produce a remarkable effect upon Pierre. Sometimes, to the covertly watchful eye of Isabel, he would seem to look upon Lucy with an expression illy befitting their singular and so-supposed merely cousinly relation; and yet again, with another expression still more unaccountable to her,—one of fear and awe, not unmixed with impatience. But his general detailed manner toward Lucy was that of the most delicate and affectionate considerateness—nothing more. He was never alone with her; though, as before, at times alone with Isabel.

Another day went by; Glen and Frederic were still missing, and Pierre, Isabel, and Lucy were all living together. Lucy's presence had started to have a striking impact on Pierre. Sometimes, to Isabel's keen eye, he seemed to look at Lucy with an expression that didn’t quite match their supposed cousinly relationship; other times, he had an even more puzzling look—one of fear and awe, mixed with impatience. However, his overall demeanor towards Lucy was one of the utmost care and affection—nothing more. He was never alone with her, although he was still sometimes alone with Isabel.

Lucy seemed entirely undesirous of usurping any place about him; manifested no slightest unwelcome curiosity as to Pierre, and no painful embarrassment as to Isabel. Nevertheless, more and more did she seem, hour by hour, to be somehow inexplicably sliding between them, without touching them. Pierre felt that some strange heavenly influence was near him, to keep him from some uttermost harm; Isabel was alive to some untraceable displacing agency. Though when all three were together, the marvelous serenity, and sweetness, and utter unsuspectingness of Lucy obviated any thing like a common embarrassment: yet if there was any embarrassment at all beneath that roof, it was sometimes when Pierre was alone with Isabel, after Lucy would innocently quit them.

Lucy seemed completely uninterested in taking any place around him; she showed no hint of unwelcome curiosity about Pierre, and no awkwardness regarding Isabel. Yet, more and more, she seemed to be somehow inexplicably slipping between them, without making contact. Pierre felt that some strange, protective force was nearby, keeping him from any real harm; Isabel sensed an unidentifiable shifting presence. When all three were together, Lucy's remarkable calm, sweetness, and total lack of suspicion prevented any real awkwardness. However, if there was ever any awkwardness at all in that house, it would sometimes occur when Pierre was alone with Isabel after Lucy had innocently left them.

Meantime Pierre was still going on with his book; every moment becoming still the more sensible of the intensely inauspicious circumstances of all sorts under which that labor was proceeding. And as the now advancing and concentring enterprise demanded more and more compacted vigor from him, he felt that he was having less and less to bring to it. For not only was it the signal misery of Pierre, to be invisibly—though but accidentally—goaded, in the hour of mental immaturity, to the attempt at a mature work,—a circumstance sufficiently lamentable in itself; but also, in the hour of his clamorous pennilessness, he was additionally goaded into an enterprise long and protracted in the execution, and of all things least calculated for pecuniary profit in the end. How these things were so, whence they originated, might be thoroughly and very beneficially explained; but space and time here forbid.

Meanwhile, Pierre was still working on his book, becoming increasingly aware of the incredibly unfavorable conditions surrounding his efforts. As the project he was undertaking required more and more energy from him, he felt he had less and less to contribute. It wasn't just that Pierre struggled with the invisible pressure to create something mature while he was still developing his own abilities—a lamentable situation in its own right—but he was also pushing himself into a long, drawn-out task that was the least likely to bring any financial reward, especially given his dire financial situation. While it could be thoroughly and helpfully explained how this situation came to be, there simply isn't enough time or space to do so.

At length, domestic matters—rent and bread—had come to such a pass with him, that whether or no, the first pages must go to the printer; and thus was added still another tribulation; because the printed pages now dictated to the following manuscript, and said to all subsequent thoughts and inventions of Pierre—Thus and thus; so and so; else an ill match. Therefore, was his book already limited, bound over, and committed to imperfection, even before it had come to any confirmed form or conclusion at all. Oh, who shall reveal the horrors of poverty in authorship that is high? While the silly Millthorpe was railing against his delay of a few weeks and months; how bitterly did unreplying Pierre feel in his heart, that to most of the great works of humanity, their authors had given, not weeks and months, not years and years, but their wholly surrendered and dedicated lives. On either hand clung to by a girl who would have laid down her life for him; Pierre, nevertheless, in his deepest, highest part, was utterly without sympathy from any thing divine, human, brute, or vegetable. One in a city of hundreds of thousands of human beings, Pierre was solitary as at the Pole.

Eventually, domestic issues—like rent and food—had gotten so bad for him that, whether he liked it or not, the first pages had to go to the printer; and this added yet another struggle. The printed pages now dictated the following manuscript, telling all of Pierre's upcoming thoughts and ideas—Thus and thus; so and so; else an ill match. Therefore, his book was already limited, restricted, and destined for imperfection, even before it had taken any confirmed shape or conclusion. Oh, who can truly describe the horrors of poverty in elevated authorship? While the foolish Millthorpe complained about his delay of a few weeks and months, Pierre, feeling bitterly unresponsive in his heart, realized that many of humanity's great works had cost their authors not just weeks and months or years and years, but their entire dedicated lives. On either side, he was supported by a girl who would have given her life for him; yet, in his deepest and highest self, Pierre felt completely devoid of sympathy from anything divine, human, animal, or plant. Surrounded by hundreds of thousands of people in the city, Pierre was as lonely as if he were at the North Pole.

And the great woe of all was this: that all these things were unsuspected without, and undivulgible from within; the very daggers that stabbed him were joked at by Imbecility, Ignorance, Blockheadedness, Self-Complacency, and the universal Blearedness and Besottedness around him. Now he began to feel that in him, the thews of a Titan were forestallingly cut by the scissors of Fate. He felt as a moose, hamstrung. All things that think, or move, or lie still, seemed as created to mock and torment him. He seemed gifted with loftiness, merely that it might be dragged down to the mud. Still, the profound willfulness in him would not give up. Against the breaking heart, and the bursting head; against all the dismal lassitude, and deathful faintness and sleeplessness, and whirlingness, and craziness, still he like a demigod bore up. His soul’s ship foresaw the inevitable rocks, but resolved to sail on, and make a courageous wreck. Now he gave jeer for jeer, and taunted the apes that jibed him. With the soul of an Atheist, he wrote down the godliest things; with the feeling of misery and death in him, he created forms of gladness and life. For the pangs in his heart, he put down hoots on the paper. And every thing else he disguised under the so conveniently adjustable drapery of all-stretchable Philosophy. For the more and the more that he wrote, and the deeper and the deeper that he dived, Pierre saw the everlasting elusiveness of Truth; the universal lurking insincerity of even the greatest and purest written thoughts. Like knavish cards, the leaves of all great books were covertly packed. He was but packing one set the more; and that a very poor jaded set and pack indeed. So that there was nothing he more spurned, than his own aspirations; nothing he more abhorred than the loftiest part of himself. The brightest success, now seemed intolerable to him, since he so plainly saw, that the brightest success could not be the sole offspring of Merit; but of Merit for the one thousandth part, and nine hundred and ninety-nine combining and dove-tailing accidents for the rest. So beforehand he despised those laurels which in the very nature of things, can never be impartially bestowed. But while thus all the earth was depopulated of ambition for him; still circumstances had put him in the attitude of an eager contender for renown. So beforehand he felt the unrevealable sting of receiving either plaudits or censures, equally unsought for, and equally loathed ere given. So, beforehand he felt the pyramidical scorn of the genuine loftiness for the whole infinite company of infinitesimal critics. His was the scorn which thinks it not worth the while to be scornful. Those he most scorned, never knew it. In that lonely little closet of his, Pierre foretasted all that this world hath either of praise or dispraise; and thus foretasting both goblets, anticipatingly hurled them both in its teeth. All panegyric, all denunciation, all criticism of any sort, would come too late for Pierre.

And the biggest sorrow of all was this: that everything happening outside was completely unexpected, and what was going on inside him couldn't be shared; the very daggers that pierced him were laughed at by Stupidity, Ignorance, Foolishness, Self-Satisfaction, and the widespread Lack of Clarity and Awareness around him. He started to feel as if the strength of a Titan was being cut short by the scissors of Fate. He felt like a moose with its hamstring cut. Everything that thought, moved, or lay still seemed made to mock and torment him. He felt like he had greatness, just so it could be dragged down into the mud. Still, the deep stubbornness within him wouldn’t let go. Despite the breaking heart, the pounding head; against all the overwhelming exhaustion, the feeling of death, sleeplessness, dizziness, and madness, he still held on like a demigod. His soul’s ship could see the inevitable wreck ahead but chose to sail on and face it bravely. Now he retaliated every insult, mocking the fools who laughed at him. With the soul of an Atheist, he wrote down the most divine thoughts; feeling misery and death within, he created expressions of joy and life. For the pain in his heart, he put down sarcastic remarks on paper. And everything else he masked under the conveniently adjustable cloak of all-encompassing Philosophy. The more he wrote, the deeper he delved, Pierre saw the eternal elusiveness of Truth; the universal hidden insincerity in even the greatest and purest written ideas. Like duplicitous cards, the pages of all great books were secretly stacked. He was just adding one more shabby, tired set to the pile. So, nothing disgusted him more than his own aspirations; nothing he hated more than the noblest part of himself. Achieving success now felt unbearable, as he clearly saw that the brightest success could not simply stem from Merit; but was only one part Merit and nine hundred ninety-nine parts random fortunate circumstances. So, he already looked down on those laurels that, by nature, can never be fairly given. Yet while all ambition on earth was stripped away from him, circumstances had put him in a position of being an eager contender for fame. So, he sensed beforehand the undeniable sting of receiving praise or criticism, both unwanted and both equally hated before they were given. He felt the towering disdain for the genuine greatness of all the countless petty critics. His disdain was the kind that thinks it’s not worth the trouble to express disdain. Those he scorned the most never even realized it. In that lonely little room of his, Pierre could foresee everything this world had to offer in terms of praise or blame; and so, anticipating both, he defiantly hurled them both back. All praise, all denunciations, all criticism of any kind would come too late for Pierre.

But man does never give himself up thus, a doorless and shutterless house for the four loosened winds of heaven to howl through, without still additional dilapidations. Much oftener than before, Pierre laid back in his chair with the deadly feeling of faintness. Much oftener than before, came staggering home from his evening walk, and from sheer bodily exhaustion economized the breath that answered the anxious inquiries as to what might be done for him. And as if all the leagued spiritual inveteracies and malices, combined with his general bodily exhaustion, were not enough, a special corporeal affliction now descended like a sky-hawk upon him. His incessant application told upon his eyes. They became so affected, that some days he wrote with the lids nearly closed, fearful of opening them wide to the light. Through the lashes he peered upon the paper, which so seemed fretted with wires. Sometimes he blindly wrote with his eyes turned away from the paper;—thus unconsciously symbolizing the hostile necessity and distaste, the former whereof made of him this most unwilling states-prisoner of letters.

But a person never completely lets themselves go like that, leaving their mind open like a house without doors or windows for the wild winds to blow through, without suffering even more damage. More often than before, Pierre found himself slumping back in his chair feeling faint. He often came home staggering from his evening walks and, completely drained, struggled to catch his breath while answering concerned questions about what was wrong. As if the combined weight of his ongoing struggles and physical exhaustion weren’t enough, he was now struck by a specific physical ailment. His constant writing was taking a toll on his eyes. They became so strained that on some days he wrote with his eyelids almost closed, afraid to open them wide to the light. He squinted at the paper, which looked like it was covered with wires. Sometimes he would write blindly, turning his eyes away from the paper—unintentionally symbolizing the hostility and distaste of a situation that had turned him into a most unwilling prisoner of his own written words.

As every evening, after his day’s writing was done, the proofs of the beginning of his work came home for correction, Isabel would read them to him. They were replete with errors; but preoccupied by the thronging, and undiluted, pure imaginings of things, he became impatient of such minute, gnat-like torments; he randomly corrected the worst, and let the rest go; jeering with himself at the rich harvest thus furnished to the entomological critics.

As every evening, after he finished writing for the day, the proofs of his work's beginning came back home for correction, Isabel would read them to him. They were full of errors; but distracted by the overwhelming, clear, and vivid ideas in his head, he grew impatient with such tiny, annoying details; he corrected the worst ones at random and ignored the rest, mocking himself for the abundance of material provided for the nitpickers.

But at last he received a tremendous interior intimation, to hold off—to be still from his unnatural struggle.

But finally, he got a powerful inner message to hold back—to stop his unnatural fight.

In the earlier progress of his book, he had found some relief in making his regular evening walk through the greatest thoroughfare of the city; that so, the utter isolation of his soul, might feel itself the more intensely from the incessant jogglings of his body against the bodies of the hurrying thousands. Then he began to be sensible of more fancying stormy nights, than pleasant ones; for then, the great thoroughfares were less thronged, and the innumerable shop-awnings flapped and beat like schooners’ broad sails in a gale, and the shutters banged like lashed bulwarks; and the slates fell hurtling like displaced ship’s blocks from aloft. Stemming such tempests through the deserted streets, Pierre felt a dark, triumphant joy; that while others had crawled in fear to their kennels, he alone defied the storm-admiral, whose most vindictive peltings of hail-stones,—striking his iron-framed fiery furnace of a body,—melted into soft dew, and so, harmlessly trickled from off him.

In the early stages of his book, he found some relief in taking his regular evening walk through the busiest street in the city; this way, the complete isolation of his soul could be felt even more intensely from the constant jostling of his body against the rushing crowds. Then he started to notice that he preferred stormy nights over pleasant ones; during storms, the main streets were less crowded, and the countless shop awnings flapped and beat like sails of schooners in a gale, while the shutters slammed like restrained bulwarks, and the slates fell crashing like dislodged ship’s blocks from above. Battling through such storms in the empty streets, Pierre felt a dark, triumphant joy; while others had cowered in fear in their homes, he alone challenged the storm-bringer, whose most spiteful hailstones—hitting his iron-framed, fiery body—melted into soft dew and harmlessly dripped off him.

By-and-by, of such howling, pelting nights, he began to bend his steps down the dark, narrow side-streets, in quest of the more secluded and mysterious tap-rooms. There he would feel a singular satisfaction, in sitting down all dripping in a chair, ordering his half-pint of ale before him, and drawing over his cap to protect his eyes from the light, eye the varied faces of the social castaways, who here had their haunts from the bitterest midnights.

Eventually, on those howling, rainy nights, he started making his way down the dark, narrow side streets in search of the more secluded and mysterious bars. There, he found a strange satisfaction in sitting down, soaked, in a chair, ordering his half-pint of ale, and pulling his cap down to shield his eyes from the light, as he took in the diverse faces of the social outcasts, who frequented this place during the harshest midnights.

But at last he began to feel a distaste for even these; and now nothing but the utter night-desolation of the obscurest warehousing lanes would content him, or be at all sufferable to him. Among these he had now been accustomed to wind in and out every evening; till one night as he paused a moment previous to turning about for home, a sudden, unwonted, and all-pervading sensation seized him. He knew not where he was; he did not have any ordinary life-feeling at all. He could not see; though instinctively putting his hand to his eyes, he seemed to feel that the lids were open. Then he was sensible of a combined blindness, and vertigo, and staggering; before his eyes a million green meteors danced; he felt his foot tottering upon the curb, he put out his hands, and knew no more for the time. When he came to himself he found that he was lying crosswise in the gutter, dabbled with mud and slime. He raised himself to try if he could stand; but the fit was entirely gone. Immediately he quickened his steps homeward, forbearing to rest or pause at all on the way, lest that rush of blood to his head, consequent upon his sudden cessation from walking, should again smite him down. This circumstance warned him away from those desolate streets, lest the repetition of the fit should leave him there to perish by night in unknown and unsuspected loneliness. But if that terrible vertigo had been also intended for another and deeper warning, he regarded such added warning not at all; but again plied heart and brain as before.

But eventually, he started to dislike even these; and now nothing but the complete emptiness of the darkest warehouse alleys satisfied him or was tolerable to him. He had become used to wandering in and out of these every evening; until one night, as he paused for a moment before turning around to head home, a sudden, unusual, and all-encompassing feeling seized him. He didn’t know where he was; he didn’t feel any sense of normalcy. He couldn’t see; though instinctively putting his hand to his eyes, he felt like his eyelids were open. Then he became aware of a mix of blindness, dizziness, and stumbling; a million green flashes danced in front of him; he felt his foot slipping off the curb, stretched out his hands, and then lost consciousness. When he came to, he found himself lying across the gutter, covered in mud and filth. He got up to see if he could stand; but the episode was completely gone. He quickly made his way home, avoiding any rest or pause along the way, fearing that the rush of blood to his head, following his sudden stop, would knock him down again. This experience warned him away from those desolate streets, so he wouldn’t risk the same episode leaving him there to die alone at night. But if that terrible dizziness was also meant as a deeper warning, he completely ignored it; instead, he continued to push his heart and mind like before.

But now at last since the very blood in his body had in vain rebelled against his Titanic soul; now the only visible outward symbols of that soul—his eyes—did also turn downright traitors to him, and with more success than the rebellious blood. He had abused them so recklessly, that now they absolutely refused to look on paper. He turned them on paper, and they blinked and shut. The pupils of his eyes rolled away from him in their own orbits. He put his hand up to them, and sat back in his seat. Then, without saying one word, he continued there for his usual term, suspended, motionless, blank.

But now, finally, since the very blood in his body had fruitlessly rebelled against his monumental spirit; now the only visible outward signs of that spirit—his eyes—also turned traitor to him, and with more success than the rebellious blood. He had abused them so carelessly that they now absolutely refused to look at paper. He directed them toward the paper, and they blinked and shut. The pupils of his eyes rolled away from him in their own paths. He raised his hand to them and leaned back in his seat. Then, without saying a word, he remained there for his usual time, suspended, motionless, blank.

But next morning—it was some few days after the arrival of Lucy—still feeling that a certain downright infatuation, and no less, is both unavoidable and indispensable in the composition of any great, deep book, or even any wholly unsuccessful attempt at any great, deep book; next morning he returned to the charge. But again the pupils of his eyes rolled away from him in their orbits: and now a general and nameless torpor—some horrible foretaste of death itself—seemed stealing upon him.

But the next morning—it was a few days after Lucy’s arrival—he still felt that a certain intense obsession, which is both inevitable and essential for creating any great, profound book, or even any completely unsuccessful effort at such a book; the next morning he went back to it. But once more, his pupils rolled away from him in their sockets: and now a general and indescribable lethargy—some dreadful premonition of death itself—seemed to be creeping over him.


IV.

DURING this state of semi-unconsciousness, or rather trance, a remarkable dream or vision came to him. The actual artificial objects around him slid from him, and were replaced by a baseless yet most imposing spectacle of natural scenery. But though a baseless vision in itself, this airy spectacle assumed very familiar features to Pierre. It was the phantasmagoria of the Mount of the Titans, a singular height standing quite detached in a wide solitude not far from the grand range of dark blue hills encircling his ancestral manor.

DURING this state of semi-unconsciousness, or rather trance, a remarkable dream or vision came to him. The actual artificial objects around him faded away, replaced by a vivid but unanchored display of natural scenery. Despite being an illusion, this ethereal sight felt very familiar to Pierre. It was the phantasmagoria of the Mount of the Titans, a unique peak standing alone in a vast solitude not far from the grand range of dark blue hills surrounding his family manor.

Say what some poets will, Nature is not so much her own ever-sweet interpreter, as the mere supplier of that cunning alphabet, whereby selecting and combining as he pleases, each man reads his own peculiar lesson according to his own peculiar mind and mood. Thus a high-aspiring, but most moody, disappointed bard, chancing once to visit the Meadows and beholding that fine eminence, christened it by the name it ever after bore; completely extinguishing its former title—The Delectable Mountain—one long ago bestowed by an old Baptist farmer, an hereditary admirer of Bunyan and his most marvelous book. From the spell of that name the mountain never afterward escaped; for now, gazing upon it by the light of those suggestive syllables, no poetical observer could resist the apparent felicity of the title. For as if indeed the immemorial mount would fain adapt itself to its so recent name, some people said that it had insensibly changed its pervading aspect within a score or two of winters. Nor was this strange conceit entirely without foundation, seeing that the annual displacements of huge rocks and gigantic trees were continually modifying its whole front and general contour.

Say what some poets will, Nature isn't just her own sweet interpreter; she's more like the provider of a clever alphabet. Each person picks and mixes the letters as they like, reading their own unique lesson based on their individual mind and mood. So, a highly ambitious but very moody and disappointed poet, happened to visit the Meadows and, upon seeing that impressive peak, named it something it would carry forever; completely erasing its original name—The Delectable Mountain—given long ago by an old Baptist farmer, who was a lifelong fan of Bunyan and his incredible book. From that name, the mountain never really broke free; because now, looking at it through the lens of those evocative syllables, no poetic observer could resist the obvious charm of the title. It was almost as if the ancient mountain wanted to align itself with its new name, and some people claimed it had subtly altered its overall look over the past twenty or so winters. This strange idea wasn't completely unfounded, considering that the yearly shifts of massive rocks and giant trees were constantly changing its entire face and general shape.

On the north side, where it fronted the old Manor-house, some fifteen miles distant, the height, viewed from the piazza of a soft haze-canopied summer’s noon, presented a long and beautiful, but not entirely inaccessible-looking purple precipice, some two thousand feet in air, and on each hand sideways sloping down to lofty terraces of pastures.

On the north side, facing the old Manor-house about fifteen miles away, the height, seen from the porch on a soft, hazy summer afternoon, showed a long and beautiful, yet not completely unreachable-looking purple cliff, about two thousand feet high, sloping down on either side to high terraces of pastures.

Those hill-side pastures, be it said, were thickly sown with a small white amaranthine flower, which, being irreconcilably distasteful to the cattle, and wholly rejected by them, and yet, continually multiplying on every hand, did by no means contribute to the agricultural value of those elevated lands. Insomuch, that for this cause, the disheartened dairy tenants of that part of the Manor, had petitioned their lady-landlord for some abatement in their annual tribute of upland grasses, in the Juny-load; rolls of butter in the October crock; and steers and heifers on the October hoof; with turkeys in the Christmas sleigh.

Those hillside pastures were covered with a small white flower that cattle found completely unappealing and would not eat. Despite this, the flower kept spreading everywhere and didn't add any agricultural value to the high lands. As a result, the discouraged dairy farmers in that area had asked their lady landlord for a reduction in their yearly payments of upland grasses in June, rolls of butter in October, and the steers and heifers in October, along with turkeys during the Christmas season.

“The small white flower, it is our bane!” the imploring tenants cried. “The aspiring amaranth, every year it climbs and adds new terraces to its sway! The immortal amaranth, it will not die, but last year’s flowers survive to this! The terraced pastures grow glittering white, and in warm June still show like banks of snow:—fit token of the sterileness the amaranth begets! Then free us from the amaranth, good lady, or be pleased to abate our rent!”

“The small white flower is our curse!” the desperate tenants cried. “The climbing amaranth keeps growing every year, adding new layers to its dominance! The everlasting amaranth doesn’t die; last year’s flowers are still here! The terraced pastures shine in white, and in warm June, they still look like banks of snow—a perfect symbol of the barrenness the amaranth brings! So please, free us from the amaranth, good lady, or at least lower our rent!”

Now, on a somewhat nearer approach, the precipice did not belie its purple promise from the manorial piazza—that sweet imposing purple promise, which seemed fully to vindicate the Bunyanish old title originally bestowed;—but showed the profuse aerial foliage of a hanging forest. Nevertheless, coming still more nigh, long and frequent rents among the mass of leaves revealed horrible glimpses of dark-dripping rocks, and mysterious mouths of wolfish caves. Struck by this most unanticipated view, the tourist now quickened his impulsive steps to verify the change by coming into direct contact with so chameleon a height. As he would now speed on, the lower ground, which from the manor-house piazza seemed all a grassy level, suddenly merged into a very long and weary acclivity, slowly rising close up to the precipice’s base; so that the efflorescent grasses rippled against it, as the efflorescent waves of some great swell or long rolling billow ripple against the water-line of a steep gigantic war-ship on the sea. And, as among the rolling sea-like sands of Egypt, disordered rows of broken Sphinxes lead to the Cheopian pyramid itself; so this long acclivity was thickly strewn with enormous rocky masses, grotesque in shape, and with wonderful features on them, which seemed to express that slumbering intelligence visible in some recumbent beasts—beasts whose intelligence seems struck dumb in them by some sorrowful and inexplicable spell. Nevertheless, round and round those still enchanted rocks, hard by their utmost rims, and in among their cunning crevices, the misanthropic hill-scaling goat nibbled his sweetest food; for the rocks, so barren in themselves, distilled a subtile moisture, which fed with greenness all things that grew about their igneous marge.

Now, as we got a bit closer, the cliff didn't disappoint its rich purple promise from the estate's piazza—that impressive purple promise that seemed to fully support the old Bunyan-inspired title originally given;—but instead revealed the lush, overhanging foliage of a forest. However, as we approached even more, long and frequent gaps in the leafy mass showed horrifying glimpses of dark, dripping rocks and mysterious, wolf-like cave entrances. Surprised by this unexpected sight, the tourist quickened his pace to confirm the change by getting up close to such a chameleon-like height. As he hurried along, the lower ground, which from the manor's piazza looked like a smooth grassy plain, suddenly turned into a long and exhausting climb, gradually rising to the base of the cliff; the blooming grasses rippling against it like waves from a massive swell or long rolling billow lapping against the side of a huge warship at sea. Just as in the sandy seas of Egypt, where disordered rows of broken Sphinxes lead to the Cheops pyramid itself, this long incline was thickly scattered with enormous, oddly shaped rocky masses that had remarkable features, seeming to express a dormant intelligence seen in some reclining beasts—creatures whose understanding appears muted by some deep and mysterious sorrow. Yet, round and round those still enchanted rocks, close to their outer edges and among their clever crevices, the solitary, hill-climbing goat nibbled on its favorite food; for the rocks, so barren on their own, released a subtle moisture that nourished everything growing around their fiery edges.

Quitting those recumbent rocks, you still ascended toward the hanging forest, and piercing within its lowermost fringe, then suddenly you stood transfixed, as a marching soldier confounded at the sight of an impregnable redoubt, where he had fancied it a practicable vault to his courageous thews. Cunningly masked hitherto, by the green tapestry of the interlacing leaves, a terrific towering palisade of dark mossy massiness confronted you; and, trickling with unevaporable moisture, distilled upon you from its beetling brow slow thunder-showers of water-drops, chill as the last dews of death. Now you stood and shivered in that twilight, though it were high noon and burning August down the meads. All round and round, the grim scarred rocks rallied and re-rallied themselves; shot up, protruded, stretched, swelled, and eagerly reached forth; on every side bristlingly radiating with a hideous repellingness. Tossed, and piled, and indiscriminate among these, like bridging rifts of logs up-jammed in alluvial-rushing streams of far Arkansas: or, like great masts and yards of overwhelmed fleets hurled high and dashed amain, all splintering together, on hovering ridges of the Atlantic sea,—you saw the melancholy trophies which the North Wind, championing the unquenchable quarrel of the Winter, had wrested from the forests, and dismembered them on their own chosen battle-ground, in barbarous disdain. ’Mid this spectacle of wide and wanton spoil, insular noises of falling rocks would boomingly explode upon the silence and fright all the echoes, which ran shrieking in and out among the caves, as wailing women and children in some assaulted town.

Leaving behind those lying rocks, you continued to climb towards the hanging forest, and as you entered its lowest edge, you suddenly found yourself frozen in place, like a soldier bewildered by the sight of an impenetrable fortress, thinking it would be an easy target for his strength. Cleverly hidden until now by the green tapestry of intertwined leaves, a massive wall of dark, moss-covered bulk loomed before you; and dripping with unending moisture, it poured down upon you from its jutting edge slow showers of water droplets, cold as the final chills of death. Now you stood and shivered in that twilight, even though it was high noon and the August sun blazed down on the meadows. All around, the rugged, scarred rocks gathered and regrouped; they shot up, jutted out, stretched, swelled, and eagerly reached out; on every side, they bristled with a hideous repulsiveness. Tossed together and piled indiscriminately among these, like logs jammed in a raging river in Arkansas, or like the great masts and yards of sunk ships thrown high and crashing down, splintering together on the waves of the Atlantic— you saw the sorrowful remnants that the North Wind, fighting the unending battle of Winter, had torn from the forests and scattered on their own chosen battlefield, in brutal disdain. Amid this scene of widespread and reckless destruction, the isolated sounds of collapsing rocks would boom explosively through the silence and send echoes running wildly in and out of the caves, like the wailing of women and children in a town under siege.

Stark desolation; ruin, merciless and ceaseless; chills and gloom,—all here lived a hidden life, curtained by that cunning purpleness, which, from the piazza of the manor house, so beautifully invested the mountain once called Delectable, but now styled Titanic.

Stark emptiness; ruin, relentless and unending; cold and darkness,—all here concealed a hidden life, hidden behind that clever purpleness, which, from the porch of the mansion, so beautifully enveloped the mountain once known as Delectable, but now called Titanic.

Beaten off by such undreamed-of glooms and steeps, you now sadly retraced your steps, and, mayhap, went skirting the inferior sideway terraces of pastures; where the multiple and most sterile inodorous immortalness of the small, white flower furnished no aliment for the mild cow’s meditative cud. But here and there you still might smell from far the sweet aromaticness of clumps of catnip, that dear farm-house herb. Soon you would see the modest verdure of the plant itself; and wheresoever you saw that sight, old foundation stones and rotting timbers of log-houses long extinct would also meet your eye; their desolation illy hid by the green solicitudes of the unemigrating herb. Most fitly named the catnip; since, like the unrunagate cat, though all that’s human forsake the place, that plant will long abide, long bask and bloom on the abandoned hearth. Illy hid; for every spring the amaranthine and celestial flower gained on the mortal household herb; for every autumn the catnip died, but never an autumn made the amaranth to wane. The catnip and the amaranth!—man’s earthly household peace, and the ever-encroaching appetite for God.

Beaten down by such unexpected gloom and steepness, you now sadly retraced your steps and maybe took a path along the lower side of the fields; where the many and most barren, scentless, tiny white flowers offered no food for the gentle cow’s contemplative chewing. But here and there, you could still catch a whiff from afar of the sweet aroma of clumps of catnip, that beloved farmhouse herb. Soon, you would spot the humble greenery of the plant itself; and wherever you saw that sight, old foundation stones and rotting logs from long-gone houses would also catch your eye; their desolation poorly concealed by the green presence of the steadfast herb. Most aptly named catnip; since, like the steadfast cat, even when all the humans leave the place, that plant will endure, thriving and blooming on the deserted hearth. Poorly concealed; for every spring, the everlasting and heavenly flower overshadowed the mortal household herb; every autumn the catnip would die, but no autumn ever diminished the amaranth. The catnip and the amaranth!—man’s earthly peace, and the ever-growing desire for God.

No more now you sideways followed the sad pasture’s skirt, but took your way adown the long declivity, fronting the mystic height. In mid field again you paused among the recumbent sphinx-like shapes thrown off from the rocky steep. You paused; fixed by a form defiant, a form of awfulness. You saw Enceladus the Titan, the most potent of all the giants, writhing from out the imprisoning earth;—turbaned with upborn moss he writhed; still, though armless, resisting with his whole striving trunk, the Pelion and the Ossa hurled back at him;—turbaned with upborn moss he writhed; still turning his unconquerable front toward that majestic mount eternally in vain assailed by him, and which, when it had stormed him off, had heaved his undoffable incubus upon him, and deridingly left him there to bay out his ineffectual howl.

No longer did you follow the sad edge of the pasture, but instead headed down the long slope, facing the mysterious height. In the middle of the field, you stopped again among the lying shapes that resembled sphinxes, cast off from the rocky cliff. You paused, captivated by a defiant and terrifying form. You saw Enceladus the Titan, the strongest of all the giants, struggling to break free from the earth that imprisoned him; wrapped in moss that had grown from above, he writhed; still, despite being armless, he fought with his entire body against the Pelion and Ossa that were thrown back at him; wrapped in moss that had grown from above, he writhed; still turning his unconquerable gaze toward that majestic mountain, which he tirelessly attacked in vain, and which, after having thrown him off, had dumped its unshakable burden back onto him, mockingly leaving him there to howl without effect.

To Pierre this wondrous shape had always been a thing of interest, though hitherto all its latent significance had never fully and intelligibly smitten him. In his earlier boyhood a strolling company of young collegian pedestrians had chanced to light upon the rock; and, struck with its remarkableness, had brought a score of picks and spades, and dug round it to unearth it, and find whether indeed it were a demoniac freak of nature, or some stern thing of antediluvian art. Accompanying this eager party, Pierre first beheld that deathless son of Terra. At that time, in its untouched natural state, the statue presented nothing but the turbaned head of igneous rock rising from out the soil, with its unabasable face turned upward toward the mountain, and the bull-like neck clearly defined. With distorted features, scarred and broken, and a black brow mocked by the upborn moss, Enceladus there subterraneously stood, fast frozen into the earth at the junction of the neck. Spades and picks soon heaved part of his Ossa from him, till at last a circular well was opened round him to the depth of some thirteen feet. At that point the wearied young collegians gave over their enterprise in despair. With all their toil, they had not yet come to the girdle of Enceladus. But they had bared good part of his mighty chest, and exposed his mutilated shoulders, and the stumps of his once audacious arms. Thus far uncovering his shame, in that cruel plight they had abandoned him, leaving stark naked his in vain indignant chest to the defilements of the birds, which for untold ages had cast their foulness on his vanquished crest.

To Pierre, this amazing shape had always been fascinating, although until now he had never fully understood its hidden significance. In his early childhood, a group of young college students stumbled upon the rock and, captivated by its uniqueness, brought a bunch of picks and shovels to dig around it and see if it was a strange natural formation or some ancient work of art. Accompanying this eager group, Pierre first saw that timeless piece of earth. At that time, in its untouched state, the statue only revealed the turbaned head of volcanic rock rising from the ground, with its defiant face looking up toward the mountain and its bull-like neck clearly visible. With distorted features, scarred and broken, and a black brow covered in moss, Enceladus stood there, frozen in the earth at the base of his neck. Picks and shovels soon cleared part of his Ossa until a circular well around him was dug to about thirteen feet deep. At that point, the exhausted college students gave up in frustration. Despite all their effort, they had not yet reached Enceladus's waist. But they had uncovered much of his great chest, exposed his mutilated shoulders, and the stumps of his once powerful arms. Thus far, they had revealed his shame, and in that cruel condition they left him, with his indignant chest left vulnerable to the filth of birds that had sullied his defeated form for countless ages.

Not unworthy to be compared with that leaden Titan, wherewith the art of Marsy and the broad-flung pride of Bourbon enriched the enchanted gardens of Versailles;—and from whose still twisted mouth for sixty feet the waters yet upgush, in elemental rivalry with those Etna flames, of old asserted to be the malicious breath of the borne-down giant;—not unworthy to be compared with that leaden demi-god—piled with costly rocks, and with one bent wrenching knee protruding from the broken bronze;—not unworthy to be compared with that bold trophy of high art, this American Enceladus, wrought by the vigorous hand of Nature’s self, it did go further than compare;—it did far surpass that fine figure molded by the inferior skill of man. Marsy gave arms to the eternally defenseless; but Nature, more truthful, performed an amputation, and left the impotent Titan without one serviceable ball-and-socket above the thigh.

Not unworthy to be compared with that heavy Titan, which the art of Marsy and the grand pride of Bourbon enhanced in the enchanted gardens of Versailles;—and from whose still twisted mouth the waters still flow for sixty feet, rivaling those Etna flames, once said to be the spiteful breath of the defeated giant;—not unworthy to be compared with that heavy demi-god—stacked with precious stones, and with one bent knee sticking out from the broken bronze;—not unworthy to be compared with that impressive trophy of high art, this American Enceladus, created by the powerful hand of Nature herself, it did more than compare;—it far surpassed that fine figure shaped by the inferior skill of man. Marsy gave weapons to the eternally defenseless; but Nature, being more honest, performed an amputation, leaving the powerless Titan without a single functional ball-and-socket above the thigh.

Such was the wild scenery—the Mount of Titans, and the repulsed group of heaven-assaulters, with Enceladus in their midst shamefully recumbent at its base;—such was the wild scenery, which now to Pierre, in his strange vision, displaced the four blank walls, the desk, and camp-bed, and domineered upon his trance. But no longer petrified in all their ignominious attitudes, the herded Titans now sprung to their feet; flung themselves up the slope; and anew battered at the precipice’s unresounding wall. Foremost among them all, he saw a moss-turbaned, armless giant, who despairing of any other mode of wreaking his immitigable hate, turned his vast trunk into a battering-ram, and hurled his own arched-out ribs again and yet again against the invulnerable steep.

The scenery was wild—the Mount of Titans, and the defeated group of heavenly attackers, with Enceladus shamefully lying at its base;—such was the wild scenery that now filled Pierre's strange vision, replacing the four blank walls, the desk, and camp bed, dominating his trance. But instead of being frozen in their shameful positions, the clustered Titans sprang to their feet; they charged up the slope and relentlessly battered against the unyielding wall of the cliff. At the forefront, he saw a moss-covered, armless giant, who, desperate to express his relentless hate, turned his massive body into a battering ram and slammed his arched ribs again and again against the invulnerable height.

“Enceladus! it is Enceladus!”—Pierre cried out in his sleep. That moment the phantom faced him; and Pierre saw Enceladus no more; but on the Titan’s armless trunk, his own duplicate face and features magnifiedly gleamed upon him with prophetic discomfiture and woe. With trembling frame he started from his chair, and woke from that ideal horror to all his actual grief.

“Enceladus! It’s Enceladus!”—Pierre shouted in his sleep. In that moment, the ghost confronted him; and Pierre no longer saw Enceladus, but instead, his own face and features were amplified on the Titan’s armless body, shining down on him with a sense of foreboding and sorrow. Trembling, he shot up from his chair and woke from that nightmarish vision to face all his real sadness.


V.

NOR did Pierre’s random knowledge of the ancient fables fail still further to elucidate the vision which so strangely had supplied a tongue to muteness. But that elucidation was most repulsively fateful and foreboding; possibly because Pierre did not leap the final barrier of gloom; possibly because Pierre did not willfully wrest some final comfort from the fable; did not flog this stubborn rock as Moses his, and force even aridity itself to quench his painful thirst.

Nor did Pierre’s random knowledge of the ancient fables help clarify the vision that had so strangely given a voice to silence. But that clarification was grimly fateful and ominous; perhaps because Pierre didn’t overcome the last barrier of despair; perhaps because he didn’t intentionally draw some final comfort from the fable; didn’t strike this stubborn rock like Moses did, and force even dryness itself to satisfy his painful thirst.

Thus smitten, the Mount of Titans seems to yield this following stream:—

Thus affected, the Mount of Titans appears to give rise to this following stream:—

Old Titan’s self was the son of incestuous Cœlus and Terra, the son of incestuous Heaven and Earth. And Titan married his mother Terra, another and accumulatively incestuous match. And thereof Enceladus was one issue. So Enceladus was both the son and grandson of an incest; and even thus, there had been born from the organic blended heavenliness and earthliness of Pierre, another mixed, uncertain, heaven-aspiring, but still not wholly earth-emancipated mood; which again, by its terrestrial taint held down to its terrestrial mother, generated there the present doubly incestuous Enceladus within him; so that the present mood of Pierre—that reckless sky-assaulting mood of his, was nevertheless on one side the grandson of the sky. For it is according to eternal fitness, that the precipitated Titan should still seek to regain his paternal birthright even by fierce escalade. Wherefore whoso storms the sky gives best proof he came from thither! But whatso crawls contented in the moat before that crystal fort, shows it was born within that slime, and there forever will abide.

Old Titan was the son of the incestuous Cœlus and Terra, the child of incestuous Heaven and Earth. And Titan married his mother Terra, creating another incestuous relationship. From this union came Enceladus. So Enceladus was both the son and grandson of incest; and in a similar way, there had been born from the organic blend of heavenliness and earthliness in Pierre, another mixed, uncertain, heaven-aspiring but still not fully earth-emancipated mood; which, due to its earthly taint, was held down to its mother and generated there the present doubly incestuous Enceladus within him; so that Pierre's current mood—that reckless, sky-assaulting mindset of his—was nevertheless on one side the grandson of the sky. For it is in accordance with eternal logic that the fallen Titan should continue to strive for his paternal birthright even through fierce ascent. Therefore, whoever storms the sky provides the best proof that he came from there! But whatever crawls contentedly in the moat before that crystal fortress shows it was born in that slime and will remain there forever.

Recovered somewhat from the after-spell of this wild vision folded in his trance, Pierre composed his front as best he might, and straightway left his fatal closet. Concentrating all the remaining stuff in him, he resolved by an entire and violent change, and by a willful act against his own most habitual inclinations, to wrestle with the strange malady of his eyes, this new death-fiend of the trance, and this Inferno of his Titanic vision.

Recovered somewhat from the aftermath of this wild vision that had trapped him in a trance, Pierre adjusted himself as best he could and immediately left his cursed room. Focusing all the strength he had left, he decided to make a complete and forceful change, going against his usual instincts, to fight the strange affliction of his eyes, this new deadly force from the trance, and this hellish experience of his overwhelming vision.

And now, just as he crossed the threshold of the closet, he writhingly strove to assume an expression intended to be not uncheerful—though how indeed his countenance at all looked, he could not tell; for dreading some insupportably dark revealments in his glass, he had of late wholly abstained from appealing to it—and in his mind he rapidly conned over, what indifferent, disguising, or light-hearted gamesome things he should say, when proposing to his companions the little design he cherished.

And now, just as he stepped into the closet, he struggled to put on what he hoped was a cheerful expression—though he had no idea how his face actually looked; he had recently avoided looking in the mirror, fearing he might see something dreadfully dark in his reflection. In his mind, he quickly went over what indifferent, disguising, or light-hearted things he could say when presenting his little plan to his friends.

And even so, to grim Enceladus, the world the gods had chained for a ball to drag at his o’erfreighted feet;—even so that globe put forth a thousand flowers, whose fragile smiles disguised his ponderous load.

And still, for grim Enceladus, the world the gods had chained as a ball to drag at his heavy feet;—even so, that globe brought forth a thousand flowers, whose delicate smiles hid his burdensome load.

BOOK XXVI.
A WALK: A FOREIGN PORTRAIT: A SAIL: AND THE END.

I.

“Come, Isabel, come, Lucy; we have not had a single walk together yet. It is cold, but clear; and once out of the city, we shall find it sunny. Come: get ready now, and away for a stroll down to the wharf, and then for some of the steamers on the bay. No doubt, Lucy, you will find in the bay scenery some hints for that secret sketch you are so busily occupied with—ere real living sitters do come—and which you so devotedly work at, all alone and behind closed doors.”

"Come on, Isabel, come on, Lucy; we haven’t taken a single walk together yet. It’s chilly but clear, and once we get out of the city, it’ll be sunny. Let’s go: get ready now, and off we’ll go for a stroll down to the wharf, and then to check out some of the steamers on the bay. No doubt, Lucy, you’ll find some inspiration for that secret sketch you’re so focused on—before real living models arrive—and which you work on so diligently, all alone behind closed doors."

Upon this, Lucy’s original look of pale-rippling pleasantness and surprise—evoked by Pierre’s unforeseen proposition to give himself some relaxation—changed into one of infinite, mute, but unrenderable meaning, while her swimming eyes gently, yet all-bewildered, fell to the floor.

Upon this, Lucy’s initial expression of pale, flickering pleasantness and surprise—prompted by Pierre’s unexpected suggestion to take a break—transformed into one of deep, silent, yet indescribable meaning, as her tearful eyes gently, yet completely bewildered, dropped to the floor.

“It is finished, then,” cried Isabel,—not unmindful of this by-scene, and passionately stepping forward so as to intercept Pierre’s momentary rapt glance at the agitated Lucy,—“That vile book, it is finished!—Thank Heaven!”

“It’s done, then,” shouted Isabel—aware of what was happening behind her, and passionately stepping forward to block Pierre’s brief, intense gaze at the troubled Lucy—“That wretched book, it’s done!—Thank God!”

“Not so,” said Pierre; and, displacing all disguisements, a hectic unsummoned expression suddenly came to his face;—“but ere that vile book be finished, I must get on some other element than earth. I have sat on earth’s saddle till I am weary; I must now vault over to the other saddle awhile. Oh, seems to me, there should be two ceaseless steeds for a bold man to ride,—the Land and the Sea; and like circus-men we should never dismount, but only be steadied and rested by leaping from one to the other, while still, side by side, they both race round the sun. I have been on the Land steed so long, oh I am dizzy!”

“Not at all,” said Pierre; and, dropping all pretenses, a sudden frantic look appeared on his face;—“but before that awful book is finished, I need to get onto a different element than earth. I’ve been sitting on this earthly saddle for so long that I’m exhausted; I have to jump over to the other saddle for a while. Oh, it seems to me there should be two endless steeds for a daring man to ride,—the Land and the Sea; and like circus performers, we should never dismount, but only be balanced and rested by leaping from one to the other, while both race around the sun side by side. I’ve been on the Land steed for so long, oh I’m so dizzy!”

“Thou wilt never listen to me, Pierre,” said Lucy lowly; “there is no need of this incessant straining. See, Isabel and I have both offered to be thy amanuenses;—not in mere copying, but in the original writing; I am sure that would greatly assist thee.”

“You're never going to listen to me, Pierre,” Lucy said softly; “there's no need for all this constant effort. Look, Isabel and I have both offered to be your assistants—not just in copying, but in the original writing; I’m sure that would really help you.”

“Impossible! I fight a duel in which all seconds are forbid.”

“Impossible! I’m fighting a duel where all seconds are prohibited.”

“Ah Pierre! Pierre!” cried Lucy, dropping the shawl in her hand, and gazing at him with unspeakable longings of some unfathomable emotion.

“Ah Pierre! Pierre!” cried Lucy, dropping the shawl in her hand and staring at him with an intense longing filled with unexpressed emotions.

Namelessly glancing at Lucy, Isabel slid near to him, seized his hand and spoke.

Namelessly glancing at Lucy, Isabel moved closer to him, took his hand, and spoke.

“I would go blind for thee, Pierre; here, take out these eyes, and use them for glasses.” So saying, she looked with a strange momentary haughtiness and defiance at Lucy.

“I would go blind for you, Pierre; here, take out these eyes and use them for glasses.” With that, she glanced at Lucy with a brief look of arrogance and defiance.

A general half involuntary movement was now made, as if they were about to depart.

A somewhat involuntary movement was now made, as if they were about to leave.

“Ye are ready; go ye before”—said Lucy meekly; “I will follow.”

“You're ready; go ahead,” said Lucy quietly; “I will follow.”

“Nay, one on each arm”—said Pierre—“come!”

“Nah, one on each arm,” said Pierre, “let’s go!”

As they passed through the low arched vestibule into the street, a cheek-burnt, gamesome sailor passing, exclaimed—“Steer small, my lad; ’tis a narrow strait thou art in!”

As they walked through the low arched hallway and into the street, a cheerful sailor, with sunburned cheeks, called out, “Take it easy, my friend; you’re in a tight spot!”

“What says he?”—said Lucy gently. “Yes, it is a narrow strait of a street indeed.”

“What does he say?” Lucy asked softly. “Yeah, it really is a narrow little street.”

But Pierre felt a sudden tremble transferred to him from Isabel, who whispered something inarticulate in his ear.

But Pierre felt a sudden shiver pass through him from Isabel, who whispered something unintelligible in his ear.

Gaining one of the thoroughfares, they drew near to a conspicuous placard over a door, announcing that above stairs was a gallery of paintings, recently imported from Europe, and now on free exhibition preparatory to their sale by auction. Though this encounter had been entirely unforeseen by Pierre, yet yielding to the sudden impulse, he at once proposed their visiting the pictures. The girls assented, and they ascended the stairs.

Gaining one of the main roads, they approached a noticeable sign over a door, stating that upstairs was a gallery of paintings, recently imported from Europe, and now on free display ahead of their auction sale. Although this encounter was completely unexpected for Pierre, he quickly suggested they check out the paintings. The girls agreed, and they went upstairs.

In the anteroom, a catalogue was put into his hand. He paused to give one hurried, comprehensive glance at it. Among long columns of such names as Rubens, Raphael, Angelo, Domenichino, Da Vinci, all shamelessly prefaced with the words “undoubted,” or “testified,” Pierre met the following brief line:—“No. 99. A stranger’s head, by an unknown hand.

In the waiting room, someone handed him a catalog. He paused to take a quick, thorough look at it. Among the long lists of names like Rubens, Raphael, Angelo, Domenichino, Da Vinci, all shamelessly introduced with words like “undoubted” or “testified,” Pierre saw the following short line:—“No. 99. A stranger’s head, by an unknown hand.

It seemed plain that the whole must be a collection of those wretched imported daubs, which with the incredible effrontery peculiar to some of the foreign picture-dealers in America, were christened by the loftiest names known to Art. But as the most mutilated torsoes of the perfections of antiquity are not unworthy the student’s attention, neither are the most bungling modern incompletenesses: for both are torsoes; one of perished perfections in the past; the other, by anticipation, of yet unfulfilled perfections in the future. Still, as Pierre walked along by the thickly hung walls, and seemed to detect the infatuated vanity which must have prompted many of these utterly unknown artists in the attempted execution by feeble hand of vigorous themes; he could not repress the most melancholy foreboding concerning himself. All the walls of the world seemed thickly hung with the empty and impotent scope of pictures, grandly outlined, but miserably filled. The smaller and humbler pictures, representing little familiar things, were by far the best executed; but these, though touching him not unpleasingly, in one restricted sense, awoke no dormant majesties in his soul, and therefore, upon the whole, were contemptibly inadequate and unsatisfactory.

It was obvious that the entire collection was made up of those terrible imported artworks, which, with the outrageous boldness typical of some foreign art dealers in America, were given the grandest names in Art. But just as the most damaged remnants of ancient perfection deserve a student’s attention, so do the clumsy failures of modern art: for both are incomplete works; one is the remnants of lost perfection from the past; the other, potentially, the unachieved perfection of the future. Still, as Pierre walked along the walls adorned with paintings, he sensed the misguided arrogance that must have driven many of these completely unknown artists to attempt ambitious themes with their weak skills; he couldn’t help but feel deep sadness about himself. All the walls of the world seemed to be covered in empty and powerless artwork, grandly framed but poorly filled in. The smaller and simpler paintings, depicting familiar subjects, were definitely the best executed; however, while these touched him in a certain way, they didn’t ignite any dormant greatness in his soul, and thus, overall, felt frustratingly inadequate and unsatisfying.

At last Pierre and Isabel came to that painting of which Pierre was capriciously in search—No. 99.

At last, Pierre and Isabel found the painting that Pierre had been whimsically looking for—No. 99.

“My God! see! see!” cried Isabel, under strong excitement, “only my mirror has ever shown me that look before! See! see!”

“My God! Look! Look!” Isabel exclaimed with intense excitement, “only my mirror has ever shown me that look before! Look! Look!”

By some mere hocus-pocus of chance, or subtly designing knavery, a real Italian gem of art had found its way into this most hybrid collection of impostures.

By some strange twist of fate, or clever trickery, a genuine Italian masterpiece had made its way into this bizarre mix of fakes.

No one who has passed through the great galleries of Europe, unbewildered by their wonderful multitudinousness of surpassing excellence—a redundancy which neutralizes all discrimination or individualizing capacity in most ordinary minds—no calm, penetrative person can have victoriously run that painted gauntlet of the gods, without certain very special emotions, called forth by some one or more individual paintings, to which, however, both the catalogues and the criticisms of the greatest connoisseurs deny any all-transcending merit, at all answering to the effect thus casually produced. There is no time now to show fully how this is; suffice it, that in such instances, it is not the abstract excellence always, but often the accidental congeniality, which occasions this wonderful emotion. Still, the individual himself is apt to impute it to a different cause; hence, the headlong enthusiastic admiration of some one or two men for things not at all praised by—or at most, which are indifferent to—the rest of the world;—a matter so often considered inexplicable.

No one who has walked through the great galleries of Europe, unaffected by their incredible variety and outstanding quality—a combination that often overwhelms the average person's ability to distinguish or recognize individual pieces—no calm, thoughtful person can have successfully navigated that artistic gauntlet of masterpieces without feeling certain unique emotions, triggered by one or more specific paintings. Yet, both the catalogues and critiques from the most esteemed experts fail to acknowledge any particularly extraordinary merit that reflects the impact these artworks have. There isn't enough time now to explain this fully; it's enough to say that in such cases, it's not always the pure quality that matters, but often the unexpected connection that sparks this amazing feeling. Still, individuals often mistakenly attribute this response to a different reason, leading to the passionate admiration of a few for works that are either not recognized or are largely ignored by the rest of the world—a phenomenon that many find hard to understand.

But in this Stranger’s Head by the Unknown Hand, the abstract general excellence united with the all-surprising, accidental congeniality in producing an accumulated impression of power upon both Pierre and Isabel. Nor was the strangeness of this at all impaired by the apparent uninterestedness of Lucy concerning that very picture. Indeed, Lucy—who, owing to the occasional jolting of the crowd, had loosened her arm from Pierre’s, and so, gradually, had gone on along the pictured hall in advance—Lucy had thus passed the strange painting, without the least special pause, and had now wandered round to the precisely opposite side of the hall; where, at this present time, she was standing motionless before a very tolerable copy (the only other good thing in the collection) of that sweetest, most touching, but most awful of all feminine heads—The Cenci of Guido. The wonderfulness of which head consists chiefly, perhaps, in a striking, suggested contrast, half-identical with, and half-analogous to, that almost supernatural one—sometimes visible in the maidens of tropical nations—namely, soft and light blue eyes, with an extremely fair complexion; vailed by funereally jetty hair. But with blue eyes and fair complexion, the Cenci’s hair is golden—physically, therefore, all is in strict, natural keeping; which, nevertheless, still the more intensifies the suggested fanciful anomaly of so sweetly and seraphically blonde a being, being double-hooded, as it were, by the black crape of the two most horrible crimes (of one of which she is the object, and of the other the agent) possible to civilized humanity—incest and parricide.

But in this Stranger’s Head by the Unknown Hand, the abstract quality of excellence combined with the surprisingly fitting elements created a strong impression of power on both Pierre and Isabel. The oddity of this wasn't diminished at all by Lucy's apparent indifference to that very picture. In fact, Lucy—who, due to the occasional jostling of the crowd, had pulled her arm away from Pierre's and gradually moved ahead through the gallery—had passed the strange painting without stopping and had now wandered over to the directly across the hall; where she was now standing still in front of a decent copy (the only other worthwhile piece in the collection) of that sweetest, most poignant, yet most disturbing of all feminine portraits—The Cenci by Guido. The allure of this portrait lies mainly in a striking contrast, somewhat akin to that almost supernatural quality often seen in the maidens of tropical countries—namely, soft light blue eyes coupled with an extremely fair complexion, framed by jet-black hair. However, unlike the typical combination, the Cenci has golden hair, which, in a physical sense, perfectly aligns with nature; yet this distinctly heightens the suggested fantastical oddity of such a sweetly and angelically blonde figure being overshadowed, so to speak, by the dark shroud of the two most horrifying crimes (of which she is both the victim of one and the perpetrator of the other) that civilized humanity can conceive—incest and parricide.

Now, this Cenci and “the Stranger” were hung at a good elevation in one of the upper tiers; and, from the opposite walls, exactly faced each other; so that in secret they seemed pantomimically talking over and across the heads of the living spectators below.

Now, this Cenci and “the Stranger” were hung high up in one of the upper tiers; and, from the opposite walls, they faced each other perfectly; so that secretly they seemed to be silently communicating over and across the heads of the living audience below.

With the aspect of the Cenci every one is familiar. “The Stranger” was a dark, comely, youthful man’s head, portentously looking out of a dark, shaded ground, and ambiguously smiling. There was no discoverable drapery; the dark head, with its crisp, curly, jetty hair, seemed just disentangling itself from out of curtains and clouds. But to Isabel, in the eye and on the brow, were certain shadowy traces of her own unmistakable likeness; while to Pierre, this face was in part as the resurrection of the one he had burnt at the Inn. Not that the separate features were the same; but the pervading look of it, the subtler interior keeping of the entirety, was almost identical; still, for all this, there was an unequivocal aspect of foreignness, of Europeanism, about both the face itself and the general painting.

Everyone is familiar with the look of the Cenci. “The Stranger” was a dark, attractive young man's face, ominously emerging from a dark, shadowy background, with an ambiguous smile. There was no visible clothing; the dark head, with its crisp, curly black hair, seemed to be just coming out of curtains and clouds. But to Isabel, in the eyes and on the brow, there were certain shadowy hints of her unmistakable resemblance; for Pierre, this face was partly like the one he had burned at the Inn. Not that the individual features were identical, but the overall expression, the deeper essence of the whole, was almost the same; still, despite this, there was an undeniable sense of foreignness, a touch of Europeanism, in both the face itself and the overall painting.

“Is it? Is it? Can it be?” whispered Isabel, intensely.

“Is it? Is it? Can it be?” whispered Isabel, with great intensity.

Now, Isabel knew nothing of the painting which Pierre had destroyed. But she solely referred to the living being who—under the designation of her father—had visited her at the cheerful house to which she had been removed during childhood from the large and unnamable one by the pleasant woman in the coach. Without doubt—though indeed she might not have been at all conscious of it in her own mystic mind—she must have somehow vaguely fancied, that this being had always through life worn the same aspect to every body else which he had to her, for so very brief an interval of his possible existence. Solely knowing him—or dreaming of him, it may have been—under that one aspect, she could not conceive of him under any other. Whether or not these considerations touching Isabel’s ideas occurred to Pierre at this moment is very improbable. At any rate, he said nothing to her, either to deceive or undeceive, either to enlighten or obscure. For, indeed, he was too much riveted by his own far-interior emotions to analyze now the cotemporary ones of Isabel. So that there here came to pass a not unremarkable thing: for though both were intensely excited by one object, yet their two minds and memories were thereby directed to entirely different contemplations; while still each, for the time—however unreasonably—might have vaguely supposed the other occupied by one and the same contemplation. Pierre was thinking of the chair-portrait: Isabel, of the living face. Yet Isabel’s fervid exclamations having reference to the living face, were now, as it were, mechanically responded to by Pierre, in syllables having reference to the chair-portrait. Nevertheless, so subtile and spontaneous was it all, that neither perhaps ever afterward discovered this contradiction; for, events whirled them so rapidly and peremptorily after this, that they had no time for those calm retrospective reveries indispensable perhaps to such a discovery.

Now, Isabel had no idea about the painting that Pierre had destroyed. She was only thinking of the living person who, under the title of her father, had come to visit her at the cheerful house where she had been taken during childhood by the pleasant woman in the carriage, moving her away from the large and unnameable one. Without a doubt—though she might not have consciously realized it—she must have somehow imagined that this person always appeared the same to everyone else as he did to her, for the very brief time he was in her life. Since she only knew him—or perhaps just dreamed of him—in that one way, she couldn’t picture him any other way. It's unlikely that Pierre was contemplating these thoughts about Isabel’s ideas at that moment. At any rate, he said nothing to her, neither to mislead nor clarify, neither to inform nor confuse. He was too absorbed in his own deep emotions to analyze Isabel's current feelings. So, a notable thing happened: although both were intensely excited about one subject, their minds and memories were focused on entirely different thoughts; yet each might have, however irrationally, assumed that the other was preoccupied with the same idea. Pierre was thinking of the chair-portrait, while Isabel was thinking of the living face. Despite this, Isabel’s passionate remarks about the living face were mechanically met by Pierre’s responses related to the chair-portrait. However, it was all so subtle and instinctive that neither of them probably figured out this contradiction later on; events moved so quickly afterward that they had no time for the calm reflective thoughts that might have led to such a realization.

“Is it? is it? can it be?” was the intense whisper of Isabel.

“Is it? Is it? Can it be?” was Isabel's intense whisper.

“No, it can not be, it is not,” replied Pierre; “one of the wonderful coincidences, nothing more.”

“No, it can’t be, it isn’t,” replied Pierre; “just one of those amazing coincidences, nothing more.”

“Oh, by that word, Pierre, we but vainly seek to explain the inexplicable. Tell me: it is! it must be! it is wonderful!”

“Oh, with that word, Pierre, we’re just trying to explain the unexplainable in vain. Tell me: it is! it must be! it’s amazing!”

“Let us begone; and let us keep eternal silence,” said Pierre, quickly; and, seeking Lucy, they abruptly left the place; as before, Pierre, seemingly unwilling to be accosted by any one he knew, or who knew his companions, unconsciously accelerating their steps while forced for a space to tread the thoroughfares.

“Let’s get out of here and keep quiet forever,” said Pierre, quickly; and, looking for Lucy, they abruptly left the place. As before, Pierre, clearly not wanting to be approached by anyone he knew or who knew his friends, unconsciously quickened their pace while they had to walk down the streets for a while.


II.

AS they hurried on, Pierre was silent; but wild thoughts were hurrying and shouting in his heart. The most tremendous displacing and revolutionizing thoughts were upheaving in him, with reference to Isabel; nor—though at the time he was hardly conscious of such a thing—were these thoughts wholly unwelcome to him.

As they rushed along, Pierre was quiet; but chaotic thoughts were racing and shouting in his heart. The most intense and transformational ideas were stirring within him regarding Isabel; and even though he was barely aware of it at the time, these thoughts weren't entirely unwelcome to him.

How did he know that Isabel was his sister? Setting aside Aunt Dorothea’s nebulous legend, to which, in some shadowy points, here and there Isabel’s still more nebulous story seemed to fit on,—though but uncertainly enough—and both of which thus blurredly conjoining narrations, regarded in the unscrupulous light of real naked reason, were any thing but legitimately conclusive; and setting aside his own dim reminiscences of his wandering father’s death-bed; (for though, in one point of view, those reminiscences might have afforded some degree of presumption as to his father’s having been the parent of an unacknowledged daughter, yet were they entirely inconclusive as to that presumed daughter’s identity; and the grand point now with Pierre was, not the general question whether his father had had a daughter, but whether, assuming that he had had, Isabel, rather than any other living being, was that daughter;)—and setting aside all his own manifold and inter-enfolding mystic and transcendental persuasions,—originally born, as he now seemed to feel, purely of an intense procreative enthusiasm:—an enthusiasm no longer so all-potential with him as of yore; setting all these aside, and coming to the plain, palpable facts,—how did he know that Isabel was his sister? Nothing that he saw in her face could he remember as having seen in his father’s. The chair-portrait, that was the entire sum and substance of all possible, rakable, downright presumptive evidence, which peculiarly appealed to his own separate self. Yet here was another portrait of a complete stranger—a European; a portrait imported from across the seas, and to be sold at public auction, which was just as strong an evidence as the other. Then, the original of this second portrait was as much the father of Isabel as the original of the chair-portrait. But perhaps there was no original at all to this second portrait; it might have been a pure fancy piece; to which conceit, indeed, the uncharacterizing style of the filling-up seemed to furnish no small testimony.

How did he know that Isabel was his sister? Putting aside Aunt Dorothea’s vague legend, which in some unclear ways seemed to connect with Isabel’s even more mysterious story — though it was uncertain — both of these blurry narratives, looked at with the harsh light of cold logic, were anything but conclusive. He also pushed aside his own hazy memories of his wandering father’s deathbed; (because while those memories could suggest that his father had an unacknowledged daughter, they offered no clarity on who that daughter might be. The main question for Pierre was not whether his father had a daughter, but whether, if he did, Isabel was that daughter, rather than anyone else.) — and ignoring all his many intertwined mystical and transcendental beliefs — originally sparked, as it now felt to him, purely by intense desire: a desire that was no longer as powerful for him as it once was; putting all this aside and focusing on the straightforward facts, how did he know that Isabel was his sister? He couldn’t recall seeing anything in her face that resembled his father’s. The chair-portrait, that was all the potential, straightforward, circumstantial evidence that really mattered to him. Yet here was another portrait of a total stranger — a European; a portrait brought over from overseas, to be sold at public auction, which served as strong evidence as the other. Moreover, the original of this second portrait was just as much Isabel’s father as the original of the chair-portrait. But perhaps there was no actual original for this second portrait; it might have just been a pure fantasy piece, and indeed, the non-descript style of the background seemed to support that idea.

With such bewildering meditations as these in him, running up like clasping waves upon the strand of the most latent secrecies of his soul, and with both Isabel and Lucy bodily touching his sides as he walked; the feelings of Pierre were entirely untranslatable into any words that can be used.

With thoughts as confusing as these swirling in him, crashing like waves on the hidden shores of his soul, and with both Isabel and Lucy physically close to him as he walked, Pierre's feelings were completely beyond words.

Of late to Pierre, much more vividly than ever before, the whole story of Isabel had seemed an enigma, a mystery, an imaginative delirium; especially since he had got so deep into the inventional mysteries of his book. For he who is most practically and deeply conversant with mysticisms and mysteries; he who professionally deals in mysticisms and mysteries himself; often that man, more than any body else, is disposed to regard such things in others as very deceptively bejuggling; and likewise is apt to be rather materialistic in all his own merely personal notions (as in their practical lives, with priests of Eleusinian religions), and more than any other man, is often inclined, at the bottom of his soul, to be uncompromisingly skeptical on all novel visionary hypotheses of any kind. It is only the no-mystics, or the half-mystics, who, properly speaking, are credulous. So that in Pierre, was presented the apparent anomaly of a mind, which by becoming really profound in itself, grew skeptical of all tendered profundities; whereas, the contrary is generally supposed.

Lately, to Pierre, the entire story of Isabel seemed more like an enigma, a mystery, or even an imaginative fever dream than ever before, especially since he had delved so deeply into the inventive mysteries of his book. The person who is most practically and deeply involved with mysticisms and mysteries—someone who works professionally with them—often finds such things in others to be quite deceiving and misleading. This person is also likely to be somewhat materialistic in their personal beliefs (similar to priests in Eleusinian religions) and is more inclined than anyone else to be fundamentally skeptical of all new visionary ideas. It is only the non-mystics or the semi-mystics who are truly gullible. Thus, in Pierre, we see the seeming contradiction of a mind that, by becoming genuinely profound, grew skeptical of all offered depths, even though the opposite is commonly assumed.

By some strange arts Isabel’s wonderful story might have been, someway, and for some cause, forged for her, in her childhood, and craftily impressed upon her youthful mind; which so—like a slight mark in a young tree—had now enlargingly grown with her growth, till it had become this immense staring marvel. Tested by any thing real, practical, and reasonable, what less probable, for instance, than that fancied crossing of the sea in her childhood, when upon Pierre’s subsequent questioning of her, she did not even know that the sea was salt.

By some strange means, Isabel’s incredible story might have been created for her during her childhood and cleverly planted in her young mind; just like a small mark on a young tree, it had expanded with her growth until it became this huge, eye-catching wonder. If we measure it against anything real, practical, and reasonable, what could be more unlikely than that imagined journey across the sea in her childhood, especially when, during Pierre’s later questioning, she didn’t even know the sea was salty?


III.

IN the midst of all these mental confusions they arrived at the wharf; and selecting the most inviting of the various boats which lay about them in three or four adjacent ferry-slips, and one which was bound for a half-hour’s sail across the wide beauty of that glorious bay; they soon found themselves afloat and in swift gliding motion.

IN the middle of all this mental confusion, they reached the wharf; and after picking the most appealing of the various boats scattered around in three or four nearby ferry slips, including one that was set to take a half-hour sail across the stunning beauty of that magnificent bay; they quickly found themselves on the water and moving smoothly.

They stood leaning on the rail of the guard, as the sharp craft darted out from among the lofty pine-forests of ships’-masts, and the tangled underbrush and cane-brakes of the dwarfed sticks of sloops and scows. Soon, the spires of stone on the land, blent with the masts of wood on the water; the crotch of the twin-rivers pressed the great wedged city almost out of sight. They swept by two little islets distant from the shore; they wholly curved away from the domes of free-stone and marble, and gained the great sublime dome of the bay’s wide-open waters.

They leaned against the guardrail as the sharp craft zipped out from the tall pine forests filled with ship masts, and the tangled underbrush and marshy areas of small sloops and scows. Soon, the stone spires on land blended with the wooden masts on the water; the gap of the twin rivers nearly concealed the large, wedge-shaped city. They passed by two small islands away from the shore; they completely turned away from the stone and marble domes and entered the vast, majestic dome of the bay's open waters.

Small breeze had been felt in the pent city that day, but the fair breeze of naked nature now blew in their faces. The waves began to gather and roll; and just as they gained a point, where—still beyond—between high promontories of fortresses, the wide bay visibly sluiced into the Atlantic, Isabel convulsively grasped the arm of Pierre and convulsively spoke.

A light breeze had been felt in the city that day, but now the fresh air of nature was blowing in their faces. The waves started to build up and crash; and just as they reached a point where—still ahead—between the towering cliffs of fortresses, the vast bay visibly flowed into the Atlantic, Isabel tightly grabbed Pierre's arm and urgently spoke.

“I feel it! I feel it! It is! It is!”

“I feel it! I feel it! It’s here! It’s here!”

“What feelest thou?—what is it?”

“What do you feel? What is it?”

“The motion! the motion!”

"The movement! The movement!"

“Dost thou not understand, Pierre?” said Lucy, eying with concern and wonder his pale, staring aspect—“The waves: it is the motion of the waves that Isabel speaks of. Look, they are rolling, direct from the sea now.”

“Don't you understand, Pierre?” Lucy said, looking at him with concern and wonder because of his pale, staring look—“The waves: it's the movement of the waves that Isabel is talking about. Look, they're crashing in, coming right from the sea now.”

Again Pierre lapsed into a still stranger silence and revery.

Again, Pierre fell into an even stranger silence and daydream.

It was impossible altogether to resist the force of this striking corroboration of by far the most surprising and improbable thing in the whole surprising and improbable story of Isabel. Well did he remember her vague reminiscence of the teetering sea, that did not slope exactly as the floors of the unknown, abandoned, old house among the French-like mountains.

It was completely impossible to resist the impact of this shocking confirmation of by far the most surprising and unlikely thing in the entire surprising and unlikely story of Isabel. He clearly remembered her faint recollection of the unsteady sea, which didn’t slope quite like the floors of the mysterious, deserted old house in the French-like mountains.

While plunged in these mutually neutralizing thoughts of the strange picture and the last exclamations of Isabel, the boat arrived at its destination—a little hamlet on the beach, not very far from the great blue sluice-way into the ocean, which was now yet more distinctly visible than before.

While caught up in these conflicting thoughts about the odd picture and Isabel's last words, the boat reached its destination—a small village by the beach, not far from the large blue channel leading into the ocean, which was now more clearly visible than ever.

“Don’t let us stop here”—cried Isabel. “Look, let us go through there! Bell must go through there! See! see! out there upon the blue! yonder, yonder! far away—out, out!—far, far away, and away, and away, out there! where the two blues meet, and are nothing—Bell must go!”

“Let’s not stop here!” Isabel yelled. “Come on, let’s go through there! Bell has to go through there! Look! Look out there at the blue! Over there, far away—out, out!—so far away, and away, and away, out there! Where the two blues come together and disappear—Bell has to go!”

“Why, Isabel,” murmured Lucy, “that would be to go to far England or France; thou wouldst find but few friends in far France, Isabel.”

“Why, Isabel,” whispered Lucy, “that would mean going to distant England or France; you’d find very few friends in far-off France, Isabel.”

“Friends in far France? And what friends have I here?—Art thou my friend? In thy secret heart dost thou wish me well? And for thee, Pierre, what am I but a vile clog to thee; dragging thee back from all thy felicity? Yes, I will go yonder—yonder; out there! I will, I will! Unhand me! Let me plunge!”

“Friends in distant France? And who are my friends here?—Are you my friend? In your heart, do you truly wish me well? And for you, Pierre, what am I but a burden; holding you back from all your happiness? Yes, I will go over there—over there; out there! I will, I will! Let go of me! Let me dive!”

For an instant, Lucy looked incoherently from one to the other. But both she and Pierre now mechanically again seized Isabel’s frantic arms, as they were again thrown over the outer rail of the boat. They dragged her back; they spoke to her; they soothed her; but though less vehement, Isabel still looked deeply distrustfully at Lucy, and deeply reproachfully at Pierre.

For a moment, Lucy glanced back and forth between the two of them, confused. But both she and Pierre once again grabbed Isabel's frantic arms as she was thrown over the outer rail of the boat. They pulled her back, talked to her, and tried to calm her down; however, even though she was less agitated, Isabel still looked at Lucy with deep distrust and at Pierre with deep reproach.

They did not leave the boat as intended; too glad were they all, when it unloosed from its fastenings, and turned about upon the backward trip.

They didn’t leave the boat as planned; they were all so happy when it came loose from its moorings and turned around for the trip back.

Stepping to shore, Pierre once more hurried his companions through the unavoidable publicity of the thoroughfares; but less rapidly proceeded, soon as they gained the more secluded streets.

Stepping onto the shore, Pierre rushed his friends through the unavoidable crowds on the main streets; but they moved more slowly once they reached the quieter backroads.


IV.

GAINING the Apostles’, and leaving his two companions to the privacy of their chambers, Pierre sat silent and intent by the stove in the dining-room for a time, and then was on the point of entering his closet from the corridor, when Delly, suddenly following him, said to him, that she had forgotten to mention it before, but he would find two letters in his room, which had been separately left at the door during the absence of the party.

GAINING the Apostles’, and leaving his two companions to the privacy of their rooms, Pierre sat quietly and focused by the stove in the dining room for a while, and then was about to enter his closet from the hallway when Delly, suddenly coming after him, said that she had forgotten to mention it earlier, but he would find two letters in his room that had been left separately at the door while the group was away.

He passed into the closet, and slowly shooting the bolt—which, for want of something better, happened to be an old blunted dagger—walked, with his cap yet unmoved, slowly up to the table, and beheld the letters. They were lying with their sealed sides up; one in either hand, he lifted them; and held them straight out sideways from him.

He entered the closet and slowly slid the bolt shut, which was just an old dull dagger since he didn't have anything better. With his cap still in place, he walked slowly over to the table and looked at the letters. They were lying with the sealed sides facing up. He picked one up in each hand and held them out to the sides.

“I see not the writing; know not yet, by mine own eye, that they are meant for me; yet, in these hands I feel that I now hold the final poniards that shall stab me; and by stabbing me, make me too a most swift stabber in the recoil. Which point first?—this!”

“I can’t see the writing; I don’t yet know for sure that it’s meant for me; still, in these hands I feel like I’m holding the final daggers that will stab me; and by stabbing me, turn me into a quick stabber myself in response. Which one first?—this!”

He tore open the left-hand letter:—

He ripped open the letter on the left:—

“SIR:—You are a swindler. Upon the pretense of writing a popular novel for us, you have been receiving cash advances from us, while passing through our press the sheets of a blasphemous rhapsody, filched from the vile Atheists, Lucian and Voltaire. Our great press of publication has hitherto prevented our slightest inspection of our reader’s proofs of your book. Send not another sheet to us. Our bill for printing thus far, and also for our cash advances, swindled out of us by you, is now in the hands of our lawyer, who is instructed to proceed with instant rigor.

“Sir:—You are a fraud. Under the pretense of writing a popular novel for us, you have been taking cash advances while passing off sheets of a blasphemous piece you've stolen from the despicable Atheists, Lucian and Voltaire. Our esteemed publishing house has so far prevented any proper inspection of the proofs of your book. Do not send us another sheet. Our bill for printing up to now, along with the cash advances you have swindled from us, is now in the hands of our lawyer, who is directed to take immediate action.”

(Signed)           STEEL, FLINT & ASBESTOS.”

(Signed)           STEEL, FLINT & ASBESTOS.

He folded the left-hand letter, and put it beneath his left heel, and stood upon it so; and then opened the right-hand letter.

He folded the letter in his left hand and placed it under his left heel, standing on it like that; then he opened the letter in his right hand.

“Thou, Pierre Glendinning, art a villainous and perjured liar. It is the sole object of this letter imprintedly to convey the point blank lie to thee; that taken in at thy heart, it may be thence pulsed with thy blood, throughout thy system. We have let some interval pass inactive, to confirm and solidify our hate. Separately, and together, we brand thee, in thy every lung-cell, a liar;—liar, because that is the scornfullest and loathsomest title for a man; which in itself is the compend of all infamous things.

"You, Pierre Glendinning, are a deceitful and false liar. The main purpose of this letter is to deliver this obvious lie to you; I hope it reaches your heart and spreads through your veins. We’ve allowed some time to pass to strengthen our disdain. Individually and collectively, we mark you, in every cell of your lungs, as a liar—liar, because that is the most contemptible and disgusting label for a person; it sums up all things infamous."

(Signed)           GLENDINNING STANLY,
FREDERIC TARTAN.”    

(Signed)           GLENDINNING STANLY,
FREDERIC TARTAN.”

He folded the right-hand letter, and put it beneath his right heel; then folding his two arms, stood upon both the letters.

He folded the letter in his right hand and placed it under his right heel; then, crossing his arms, he stood on both letters.

“These are most small circumstances; but happening just now to me, become indices to all immensities. For now am I hate-shod! On these I will skate to my acquittal! No longer do I hold terms with aught. World’s bread of life, and world’s breath of honor, both are snatched from me; but I defy all world’s bread and breath. Here I step out before the drawn-up worlds in widest space, and challenge one and all of them to battle! Oh, Glen! oh, Fred! most fraternally do I leap to your rib-crushing hugs! Oh, how I love ye two, that yet can make me lively hate, in a world which elsewise only merits stagnant scorn!—Now, then, where is this swindler’s, this coiner’s book? Here, on this vile counter, over which the coiner thought to pass it to the world, here will I nail it fast, for a detected cheat! And thus nailed fast now, do I spit upon it, and so get the start of the wise world’s worst abuse of it! Now I go out to meet my fate, walking toward me in the street.”

“These might seem like minor details, but since they're happening to me right now, they represent something much bigger. I’m filled with hatred! I’ll use this feeling to skate my way to freedom! I refuse to compromise with anything anymore. The essentials of life and the dignity I once held are both taken from me, but I challenge the world’s essentials. Here I stand before the vast universe, ready to confront anyone who wants to fight! Oh, Glen! Oh, Fred! I jump into your bone-crushing hugs with brotherly love! Oh, how I cherish both of you, the only ones who can spark my fierce anger in a world that otherwise deserves my complete disdain!—Now, where is this fraud’s, this counterfeiter’s book? Right here, on this disgusting counter, where he thought he could pass it to the world, I will nail it down as proof of his deceit! And now, firmly nailed down, I spit on it to get ahead of the world’s worst slander! Now I’m going out to face my destiny, walking toward me on the street.”

As with hat on, and Glen and Frederic’s letter invisibly crumpled in his hand, he—as it were somnambulously—passed into the room of Isabel, she gave loose to a thin, long shriek, at his wondrous white and haggard plight; and then, without the power to stir toward him, sat petrified in her chair, as one embalmed and glazed with icy varnish.

As he entered Isabel's room, wearing his hat and holding Glen and Frederic's letter crumpled in his hand, he moved as if in a trance. Isabel let out a long, thin scream at the sight of his shocking, pale condition. Then, unable to move toward him, she sat frozen in her chair, looking as if she had been embalmed and coated in a layer of icy varnish.

He heeded her not, but passed straight on through both intervening rooms, and without a knock unpremeditatedly entered Lucy’s chamber. He would have passed out of that, also, into the corridor, without one word; but something stayed him.

He ignored her and walked straight through both rooms, then, without thinking, entered Lucy's room without knocking. He would have left that room too, heading into the hallway, without saying a word; but something made him stop.

The marble girl sat before her easel; a small box of pointed charcoal, and some pencils by her side; her painter’s wand held out against the frame; the charcoal-pencil suspended in two fingers, while with the same hand, holding a crust of bread, she was lightly brushing the portrait-paper, to efface some ill-considered stroke. The floor was scattered with the bread-crumbs and charcoal-dust; he looked behind the easel, and saw his own portrait, in the skeleton.

The marble girl sat in front of her easel, a small box of sharp charcoal and some pencils next to her. Her paintbrush was held out against the frame, while she suspended the charcoal pencil between two fingers. With the same hand, she held a piece of bread and was gently brushing the portrait paper to erase a careless stroke. The floor was covered with breadcrumbs and charcoal dust. He glanced behind the easel and saw his own portrait in the skeleton.

At the first glimpse of him, Lucy started not, nor stirred; but as if her own wand had there enchanted her, sat tranced.

At the first sight of him, Lucy didn't flinch or move; it was as if her own magic had enchanted her, leaving her in a daze.

“Dead embers of departed fires lie by thee, thou pale girl; with dead embers thou seekest to relume the flame of all extinguished love! Waste not so that bread; eat it—in bitterness!”

“Dead ashes from burned-out fires rest beside you, pale girl; with these ashes, you try to reignite the flame of all lost love! Don't waste that bread; eat it—in bitterness!”

He turned, and entered the corridor, and then, with outstretched arms, paused between the two outer doors of Isabel and Lucy.

He turned and walked into the hallway, then, with his arms wide open, paused between the two outer doors of Isabel and Lucy.

“For ye two, my most undiluted prayer is now, that from your here unseen and frozen chairs ye may never stir alive;—the fool of Truth, the fool of Virtue, the fool of Fate, now quits ye forever!”

“For you two, my most sincere prayer is that from your hidden and frozen seats, you may never rise alive;—the fool of Truth, the fool of Virtue, the fool of Fate, now leaves you forever!”

As he now sped down the long winding passage, some one eagerly hailed him from a stair.

As he rushed down the long winding hallway, someone eagerly called out to him from the stairs.

“What, what, my boy? where now in such a squally hurry? Hallo, I say!”

“What’s going on, my boy? Why are you in such a rush? Hey, I’m talking to you!”

But without heeding him at all, Pierre drove on. Millthorpe looked anxiously and alarmedly after him a moment, then made a movement in pursuit, but paused again.

But without paying any attention to him, Pierre kept driving. Millthorpe looked after him with worry and concern for a moment, then started to follow but stopped again.

“There was ever a black vein in this Glendinning; and now that vein is swelled, as if it were just one peg above a tourniquet drawn over-tight. I scarce durst dog him now; yet my heart misgives me that I should.—Shall I go to his rooms and ask what black thing this is that hath befallen him?—No; not yet;—might be thought officious—they say I’m given to that. I’ll wait; something may turn up soon. I’ll into the front street, and saunter some; and then—we’ll see.”

“There's always been a dark side to this Glendinning, and now that side has intensified, like a strap pulled too tight. I hardly dare follow him now; yet I can’t shake the feeling that I should. Should I go to his place and ask what terrible thing has happened to him?—No, not yet; it might come off as too nosy—they say I tend to be that way. I'll wait; something might happen soon. I'll head to the main street and stroll around for a bit; then—we'll see.”


V.

PIERRE passed on to a remote quarter of the building, and abruptly entered the room of one of the Apostles whom he knew. There was no one in it. He hesitated an instant; then walked up to a book-case, with a chest of drawers in the lower part.

PIERRE headed to a distant part of the building and suddenly walked into the room of one of the Apostles he was familiar with. The room was empty. He paused for a moment, then approached a bookcase that had a set of drawers at the bottom.

“Here I saw him put them:—this,—no—here—ay—we’ll try this.”

“Here I saw him put them:—this,—no—here—yeah—we’ll try this.”

Wrenching open the locked drawer, a brace of pistols, a powder flask, a bullet-bag, and a round green box of percussion-caps lay before him.

Wrenching open the locked drawer, a pair of pistols, a powder flask, a bullet bag, and a round green box of percussion caps lay before him.

“Ha! what wondrous tools Prometheus used, who knows? but more wondrous these, that in an instant, can unmake the topmost three-score-years-and-ten of all Prometheus’ makings. Come: here’s two tubes that’ll outroar the thousand pipes of Harlem.—Is the music in ’em?—No?—Well then, here’s powder for the shrill treble; and wadding for the tenor; and a lead bullet for the concluding bass! And,—and,—and,—ay; for the top-wadding, I’ll send ’em back their lie, and plant it scorching in their brains!”

“Ha! What amazing tools Prometheus used, who knows? But even more amazing are these, which can instantly undo all of Prometheus’ creations from the last seventy years. Come on: here are two tubes that can outplay the thousand pipes of Harlem.—Is there music in them?—No?—Well then, here’s some powder for the high notes; and wadding for the tenor; and a lead bullet for the deep bass! And,—and,—and,—yes; for the top wadding, I’ll send back their lie and burn it into their brains!”

He tore off that part of Glen and Fred’s letter, which more particularly gave the lie; and halving it, rammed it home upon the bullets.

He ripped off the section of Glen and Fred’s letter that specifically contradicted him; then, he tore it in half and stuffed it into the cartridge with the bullets.

He thrust a pistol into either breast of his coat; and taking the rearward passages, went down into the back street; directing his rapid steps toward the grand central thoroughfare of the city.

He shoved a pistol into each side of his coat and took the back streets, quickly making his way toward the main road of the city.

It was a cold, but clear, quiet, and slantingly sunny day; it was between four and five of the afternoon; that hour, when the great glaring avenue was most thronged with haughty-rolling carriages, and proud-rustling promenaders, both men and women. But these last were mostly confined to the one wide pavement to the West; the other pavement was well nigh deserted, save by porters, waiters, and parcel-carriers of the shops. On the west pave, up and down, for three long miles, two streams of glossy, shawled, or broadcloth life unceasingly brushed by each other, as long, resplendent, drooping trains of rival peacocks brush.

It was a cold but clear and quiet day with a slant of sunshine; it was between four and five in the afternoon—the time when the bustling avenue was filled with fancy carriages and elegantly dressed pedestrians, both men and women. However, most of the women were crowded onto the broad sidewalk on the west side; the other sidewalk was nearly empty, occupied only by porters, waiters, and delivery people from the shops. On the west sidewalk, for three long miles, two streams of well-dressed people in shiny fabrics or fine wool moved past each other endlessly, like long, vibrant tails of competing peacocks.

Mixing with neither of these, Pierre stalked midway between. From his wild and fatal aspect, one way the people took the wall, the other way they took the curb. Unentangledly Pierre threaded all their host, though in its inmost heart. Bent he was, on a straightforward, mathematical intent. His eyes were all about him as he went; especially he glanced over to the deserted pavement opposite; for that emptiness did not deceive him; he himself had often walked that side, the better to scan the pouring throng upon the other.

Mixing with neither group, Pierre moved through the crowd. His wild and intense presence made people either stick to the sidewalk or step into the street. Pierre navigated through all of them effortlessly, even as he felt deeply connected to the crowd. He was focused on a clear, logical purpose. His eyes scanned his surroundings as he walked; he particularly glanced over at the empty pavement across the street; that emptiness was familiar to him; he had often walked that side to better observe the crowd on the other side.

Just as he gained a large, open, triangular space, built round with the stateliest public erections;—the very proscenium of the town;—he saw Glen and Fred advancing, in the distance, on the other side. He continued on; and soon he saw them crossing over to him obliquely, so as to take him face-and-face. He continued on; when suddenly running ahead of Fred, who now chafingly stood still (because Fred would not make two, in the direct personal assault upon one) and shouting “Liar! Villain!” Glen leaped toward Pierre from front, and with such lightning-like ferocity, that the simultaneous blow of his cowhide smote Pierre across the cheek, and left a half-livid and half-bloody brand.

Just as he reached a large, open, triangular space, surrounded by the most impressive buildings in town—the very center of the town—he spotted Glen and Fred approaching in the distance on the other side. He kept walking, and soon he saw them making their way toward him at an angle, ready to confront him directly. He continued on, when suddenly, Glen rushed ahead of Fred, who was now impatiently standing still (because Fred wouldn’t join in on attacking him directly) and shouted, “Liar! Villain!” Glen charged at Pierre from the front with such intense speed and aggression that his cowhide struck Pierre across the cheek, leaving a mark that was half bruised and half bloody.

For that one moment, the people fell back on all sides from them; and left them—momentarily recoiled from each other—in a ring of panics.

For that brief moment, the people backed away from them on all sides; and left them—temporarily pulling away from each other—in a circle of fear.

But clapping both hands to his two breasts, Pierre, on both sides shaking off the sudden white grasp of two rushing girls, tore out both pistols, and rushed headlong upon Glen.

But slapping both hands against his chest, Pierre, shaking off the sudden grip of two rushing girls, drew both pistols and charged straight at Glen.

“For thy one blow, take here two deaths! ’Tis speechless sweet to murder thee!”

“For your one blow, here are two deaths! It’s eerily sweet to kill you!”

Spatterings of his own kindred blood were upon the pavement; his own hand had extinguished his house in slaughtering the only unoutlawed human being by the name of Glendinning;—and Pierre was seized by a hundred contending hands.

Spots of his own family’s blood were on the pavement; he himself had destroyed his home by killing the only person who wasn’t an outlaw named Glendinning;—and Pierre was grabbed by a hundred struggling hands.


VI.

THAT sundown, Pierre stood solitary in a low dungeon of the city prison. The cumbersome stone ceiling almost rested on his brow; so that the long tiers of massive cell-galleries above seemed partly piled on him. His immortal, immovable, bleached cheek was dry; but the stone cheeks of the walls were trickling. The pent twilight of the contracted yard, coming through the barred arrow-slit, fell in dim bars upon the granite floor.

That sundown, Pierre stood alone in a small dungeon of the city prison. The heavy stone ceiling almost touched his forehead; the long rows of massive cell-galleries above seemed partly stacked on him. His immortal, motionless, pale cheek was dry, but the stony walls were weeping. The fading twilight of the cramped yard, coming through the barred arrow-slit, cast dim stripes on the granite floor.

“Here, then, is the untimely, timely end;—Life’s last chapter well stitched into the middle! Nor book, nor author of the book, hath any sequel, though each hath its last lettering!—It is ambiguous still. Had I been heartless now, disowned, and spurningly portioned off the girl at Saddle Meadows, then had I been happy through a long life on earth, and perchance through a long eternity in heaven! Now, ’tis merely hell in both worlds. Well, be it hell. I will mold a trumpet of the flames, and, with my breath of flame, breathe back my defiance! But give me first another body! I long and long to die, to be rid of this dishonored cheek. Hung by the neck till thou be dead.—Not if I forestall you, though!—Oh now to live is death, and now to die is life; now, to my soul, were a sword my midwife!—Hark!—the hangman?—who comes?”

“Here’s the unexpected yet timely end—Life’s final chapter well sewn into the middle! Neither the book nor its author has a sequel, even though each has its last inscription! It remains unclear. If I had been heartless now, rejected, and cruelly pushed away the girl at Saddle Meadows, then I would have been happy throughout a long life on earth, and perhaps through a long eternity in heaven! Now, it’s just hell in both worlds. Well, let it be hell. I’ll shape a trumpet from the flames and, with my fiery breath, shout back my defiance! But first, give me another body! I long and long to die, to be free of this dishonored face. Hung by the neck until you are dead.—Not if I can stop you first!—Oh, now to live is death, and now to die is life; now, a sword would be my midwife!—Listen!—the hangman?—who comes?”

“Thy wife and cousin—so they say;—hope they may be; they may stay till twelve;” wheezingly answered a turnkey, pushing the tottering girls into the cell, and locking the door upon them.

“Your wife and cousin—so they say;—hope they may be; they can stay until twelve;” wheezily replied a jailer, shoving the unsteady girls into the cell, and locking the door behind them.

“Ye two pale ghosts, were this the other world, ye were not welcome. Away!—Good Angel and Bad Angel both!—For Pierre is neuter now!”

“You two pale ghosts, if this were the afterlife, you wouldn’t be welcome. Go away!—Good Angel and Bad Angel both!—Because Pierre is neutral now!”

“Oh, ye stony roofs, and seven-fold stony skies!—not thou art the murderer, but thy sister hath murdered thee, my brother, oh my brother!”

“Oh, you stony roofs and sevenfold stony skies!—it’s not you who are the murderer, but your sister has killed you, my brother, oh my brother!”

At these wailed words from Isabel, Lucy shrunk up like a scroll, and noiselessly fell at the feet of Pierre.

At Isabel's cried-out words, Lucy curled up like a scroll and silently collapsed at Pierre's feet.

He touched her heart.—“Dead!—Girl! wife or sister, saint or fiend!”—seizing Isabel in his grasp—“in thy breasts, life for infants lodgeth not, but death-milk for thee and me!—The drug!” and tearing her bosom loose, he seized the secret vial nesting there.

He touched her heart. — “Dead! — Girl! wife or sister, saint or fiend!” — grabbing Isabel tightly — “in your chest, there’s no life for babies, only death's milk for you and me! — The drug!” and ripping her bodice open, he grabbed the hidden vial resting there.


VII.

AT night the squat-framed, asthmatic turnkey tramped the dim-lit iron gallery before one of the long honey-combed rows of cells.

AT night the short, wheezy guard walked the dimly lit iron walkway in front of one of the long, honeycombed rows of cells.

“Mighty still there, in that hole, them two mice I let in;—humph!”

“Mighty still there, in that hole, those two mice I let in;—humph!”

Suddenly, at the further end of the gallery, he discerned a shadowy figure emerging from the archway there, and running on before an officer, and impetuously approaching where the turnkey stood.

Suddenly, at the far end of the gallery, he noticed a shadowy figure coming out from the archway and hurrying ahead of an officer, making a beeline for where the guard was standing.

“More relations coming. These wind-broken chaps are always in before the second death, seeing they always miss the first.—Humph! What a froth the fellow’s in?—Wheezes worse than me!”

“More people are arriving. These winded guys always show up before the second death, since they always miss the first. —Hmph! What a mess this guy’s in? —Coughs worse than I do!”

“Where is she?” cried Fred Tartan, fiercely, to him; “she’s not at the murderer’s rooms! I sought the sweet girl there, instant upon the blow; but the lone dumb thing I found there only wrung her speechless hands and pointed to the door;—both birds were flown! Where is she, turnkey? I’ve searched all lengths and breadths but this. Hath any angel swept adown and lighted in your granite hell?”

“Where is she?” shouted Fred Tartan fiercely at him. “She’s not at the murderer’s place! I rushed to find the sweet girl right after the attack, but the poor silent thing I found there just wrung her hands in despair and pointed to the door;—both of them were gone! Where is she, prison guard? I’ve searched everywhere except here. Has any angel come down and landed in your stone hell?”

“Broken his wind, and broken loose, too, aint he?” wheezed the turnkey to the officer who now came up.

“Out of breath and free now, aren’t you?” wheezed the guard to the officer who had just arrived.

“This gentleman seeks a young lady, his sister, someway innocently connected with the prisoner last brought in. Have any females been here to see him?”

“This guy is looking for a young woman, his sister, who is somewhat innocently linked to the prisoner who was just brought in. Have any women come by to see him?”

“Oh, ay,—two of ’em in there now;” jerking his stumped thumb behind him.

"Oh, yeah—there are two of them in there right now," he said, pointing his stumped thumb behind him.

Fred darted toward the designated cell.

Fred rushed toward the assigned cell.

“Oh, easy, easy, young gentleman”—jingling at his huge bunch of keys—“easy, easy, till I get the picks—I’m housewife here.—Hallo, here comes another.”

“Oh, take it easy, young man”—jingles his large bunch of keys—“take it easy, until I get the picks—I run things around here.—Hey, here comes another.”

Hurrying through the same archway toward them, there now rapidly advanced a second impetuous figure, running on in advance of a second officer.

Hurrying through the same archway towards them, a second eager figure quickly approached, racing ahead of another officer.

“Where is the cell?” demanded Millthorpe.

“Where's the cell?” Millthorpe asked.

“He seeks an interview with the last prisoner,” explained the second officer.

“He's trying to get an interview with the last prisoner,” the second officer explained.

“Kill ’em both with one stone, then,” wheezed the turnkey, gratingly throwing open the door of the cell. “There’s his pretty parlor, gentlemen; step in. Reg’lar mouse-hole, arn’t it?—Might hear a rabbit burrow on the world’s t’other side;—are they all ’sleep?”

“Kill them both with one stone, then,” wheezed the jailer, harshly throwing open the door of the cell. “There’s his nice little parlor, gentlemen; come on in. It’s like a regular mouse hole, isn’t it?—You might hear a rabbit digging on the other side of the world;—are they all asleep?”

“I stumble!” cried Fred, from within; “Lucy! A light! a light!—Lucy!” And he wildly groped about the cell, and blindly caught Millthorpe, who was also wildly groping.

“I’m tripping!” yelled Fred from inside. “Lucy! A light! A light!—Lucy!” He frantically searched the room and accidentally grabbed Millthorpe, who was also fumbling around.

“Blister me not! take off thy bloody touch!—Ho, ho, the light!—Lucy! Lucy!—she’s fainted!”

“Don’t burn me! Take your bloody hands off me!—Oh, the light!—Lucy! Lucy!—she’s passed out!”

Then both stumbled again, and fell from each other in the cell: and for a moment all seemed still, as though all breaths were held.

Then both tripped again and fell away from each other in the cell: and for a moment, everything seemed still, as if everyone was holding their breath.

As the light was now thrust in, Fred was seen on the floor holding his sister in his arms; and Millthorpe kneeling by the side of Pierre, the unresponsive hand in his; while Isabel, feebly moving, reclined between, against the wall.

As the light poured in, Fred was seen on the floor holding his sister in his arms, while Millthorpe knelt beside Pierre, holding his unresponsive hand; and Isabel, weakly moving, rested against the wall in between.

“Yes! Yes!—Dead! Dead! Dead!—without one visible wound—her sweet plumage hides it.—Thou hellish carrion, this is thy hellish work! Thy juggler’s rifle brought down this heavenly bird! Oh, my God, my God! Thou scalpest me with this sight!”

“Yes! Yes!—Dead! Dead! Dead!—without a single visible wound—her beautiful feathers conceal it.—You hellish creature, this is your wicked work! Your juggler’s rifle brought down this divine bird! Oh, my God, my God! You’re tearing my heart apart with this sight!”

“The dark vein’s burst, and here’s the deluge-wreck—all stranded here! Ah, Pierre! my old companion, Pierre;—school-mate—play-mate—friend!—Our sweet boy’s walks within the woods!—Oh, I would have rallied thee, and banteringly warned thee from thy too moody ways, but thou wouldst never heed! What scornful innocence rests on thy lips, my friend!—Hand scorched with murderer’s powder, yet how woman-soft!—By heaven, these fingers move!—one speechless clasp!—all’s o’er!”

“The dark vein has burst, and here’s the flood-wreck—all stuck here! Ah, Pierre! my old buddy, Pierre;—schoolmate—playmate—friend!—Our sweet boy’s walks in the woods!—Oh, I would have teased you, and jokingly warned you about your too moody ways, but you would never listen! What scornful innocence rests on your lips, my friend!—Hand burned with a murderer’s gunpowder, yet somehow so soft!—By heaven, these fingers move!—one speechless grasp!—it’s all over!”

“All’s o’er, and ye know him not!” came gasping from the wall; and from the fingers of Isabel dropped an empty vial—as it had been a run-out sand-glass—and shivered upon the floor; and her whole form sloped sideways, and she fell upon Pierre’s heart, and her long hair ran over him, and arbored him in ebon vines.

“All's over, and you don’t know him!” came panting from the wall; and from Isabel’s fingers slipped an empty vial—like a spent hourglass—and shattered on the floor; her whole body leaned sideways, and she collapsed against Pierre’s chest, her long hair cascading over him, enveloping him in dark tendrils.





FINIS.

FINIS.


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