This is a modern-English version of Voltaire's Romances, Complete in One Volume, originally written by Voltaire. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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Voltaire's Novels

TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH.

A NEW EDITION,

WITH NUMEROUS ILLUSTRATIONS.

M. de Voltaire. Voltaire.



I choose that a story should be founded on probability, and not always resemble a dream. I desire to find nothing in it trivial or extravagant; and I desire above all, that under the appearance of fable there may appear some latent truth, obvious to the discerning eye, though it escape the observation of the vulgar.—Voltaire.




I want a story to be grounded in what’s likely to happen, rather than just feeling like a fantasy. I don’t want anything in it to be silly or far-fetched; and most importantly, I want there to be a hidden truth beneath the fable that’s clear to those who are insightful, even if it flies under the radar for most people.—Voltaire.


COMPLETE IN ONE VOLUME.

NEW YORK:
PUBLISHED BY PETER ECKLER,
35 FULTON STREET.
1889.

Writing implements--Pompeii

PUBLISHER'S PREFACE

Voltaire wrote what the people thought, and consequently his writings were universally read. He wittily ridiculed established abuses, and keenly satirized venerable absurdities. For this he was consigned to the Bastile, and this distinction served to increase his popularity and extend his influence. He was thus enabled to cope successfully with the papal hierarchy, and laugh at the murmurs of the Vatican. The struggle commenced in his youth, and continued till his death. It was a struggle of light against darkness—of freedom against tyranny; and it ended in the triumph of truth over error and of toleration over bigotry.

Voltaire expressed what everyone was thinking, which is why his works were widely read. He cleverly mocked established wrongs and sharply criticized old absurdities. Because of this, he was sent to the Bastille, and this notoriety only boosted his popularity and expanded his influence. He was thus able to successfully challenge the papal authority and mock the whispers from the Vatican. This fight began in his youth and continued until his death. It was a battle of enlightenment versus ignorance—of freedom against oppression; and it concluded with the victory of truth over falsehood and tolerance over intolerance.

Educated by the Jesuits, he early learned their methods, and his great ability enabled him to circumvent their wiles. The ceremonious presentation of his tragedy of Mahomet[1] to Pope Benedict XIV., is an example of his daring audacity;—his success with the "head of the church" shows his intellectual superiority—whilst the gracious reply of "his Holiness" fitly illustrates the pontiff's vanity. From priest to bishop, from cardinal to pope, all felt his intellectual power and all dreaded his merciless satire.

Educated by the Jesuits, he quickly grasped their methods, and his great talent allowed him to outsmart their tricks. The formal presentation of his play Mahomet[1] to Pope Benedict XIV. is an example of his boldness; his success with the "head of the church" highlights his intellectual superiority—while the kind response from "his Holiness" aptly demonstrates the pope's vanity. From priests to bishops, from cardinals to the pope, everyone recognized his intellectual strength and feared his ruthless satire.

Voltaire at seventy. Voltaire at 70.

He was famous as poet, dramatist, historian, and philosopher. An experienced courtier and polished writer, he gracefully and politely conquered his clerical opponents, and with courteous irony overthrew his literary critics. From his demeanor you could not judge of his thoughts or intentions, and while listening to his compliments, you instinctively dreaded his sarcasms. But venture to approach this grand seigneur, this keen man of the world, this intellectual giant, and plead in favor of human justice—appeal to his magnanimity and love of toleration—and you then had no cause to question his earnestness, no reason to doubt his sincerity. His blood boiled, says Macaulay,[2] at the sight of cruelty and injustice, and in an age of religious persecution, judicial torture, and arbitrary imprisonment, he made manful war, with every faculty he possessed, on what he considered as abuses; and on many signal occasions, placed himself gallantly between the powerful and the oppressed. "When an innocent man was broken on the wheel at Toulouse, when a youth, guilty only of an indiscretion, was beheaded at Abbéville, when a brave officer, borne down by public injustice, was dragged, with a gag in his mouth, to die on the Place de Grêve, a voice instantly went forth from the banks of Lake Leman, which made itself heard from Moscow to Cadiz, and which sentenced the unjust judges to the contempt and detestation of all Europe."

He was well-known as a poet, playwright, historian, and philosopher. An experienced courtier and skilled writer, he elegantly and respectfully defeated his clerical adversaries, and with polite irony, he toppled his literary critics. You couldn't judge his thoughts or intentions by his demeanor, and while you listened to his compliments, you instinctively feared his sarcasm. But if you dared to approach this nobleman, this shrewd socialite, this intellectual giant, and advocate for human justice—appealing to his generosity and love of tolerance—then you had no reason to doubt his earnestness or sincerity. His blood boiled, says Macaulay, at the sight of cruelty and injustice, and in an era of religious persecution, judicial torture, and arbitrary imprisonment, he fought valiantly, with every ability he had, against what he viewed as abuses; on many notable occasions, he bravely placed himself between the powerful and the oppressed. "When an innocent man was broken on the wheel at Toulouse, when a young man, guilty only of a misstep, was beheaded at Abbeville, when a brave officer, crushed by public injustice, was dragged, with a gag in his mouth, to die on the Place de Grève, a voice instantly emerged from the shores of Lake Geneva, which was heard from Moscow to Cadiz, and which condemned the unjust judges to the contempt and hatred of all Europe."

"None can read these stories of the horrible religious bigotry of the day," says Alex. A. Knox, in The Nineteenth Century,[3] "without feeling for Voltaire reverence and respect."

"Nobody can read these stories about the terrible religious intolerance of the time," says Alex A. Knox, in The Nineteenth Century,[3] "without feeling a sense of reverence and respect for Voltaire."

The following extract from the above named Review will explain the religious cruelty to which Macaulay refers:

The following excerpt from the Review mentioned above will explain the religious brutality that Macaulay refers to:

"Jean Calas, a Protestant, kept a small shop in Toulouse. He had a scape-grace of a son, Marc Antoine by name, who hanged himself in his father's shop. The poor father and mother were up stairs at the time, at supper, in company with the second son. The evidence was so clear that a coroner's jury at a public-house would not have turned round upon it. The priests and the priest party got hold of it, and turned it into a religious crime. The Protestant, or Huguenot parents were charged with murdering their son for fear he should turn Catholic. The body was taken to the Hôtel de Ville, and then escorted by priests to the cathedral. The religious orders—White Penitents and others—held solemn ceremonies for the repose of Marc Antoine's soul. The churches resounded with the exhortations of the priests, informing the people what evidence was required to procure the condemnation of the Calas, and directing them to come forward as witnesses. Upon such assumptions as these horrible people could devise, the poor old man was stretched till his limbs were torn out of the sockets. He was then submitted to the question extraordinaire. This consisted in pouring water into his mouth from a horn till his body was swollen to twice its size. The man had been drowned a hundred times over, but he was still alive. He was then carried to the scaffold and his limbs were broken with an iron bar, and he was left for two hours to die. He did not then die, and so the executioner strangled him at last; but he died without confessing his crime. The man was innocent; he had no confession to make. The poor creature by his unutterable agony thus saved the lives of his wife and family, all as innocent as himself. Two daughters were thrust into a convent: a son shammed conversion to Catholicism and was released. The servant escaped into a convent. The property of the family was confiscated. The poor mother slipped away unseen. Finally, another son, who had been apprenticed to a watchmaker of Nismes, escaped to Geneva. This is a picture of France in the eighteenth century.

"Jean Calas, a Protestant, ran a small shop in Toulouse. He had a rebellious son named Marc Antoine, who hanged himself in his father's shop. The poor father and mother were upstairs at the time, having dinner with their second son. The evidence was so clear that a coroner's jury at a pub wouldn’t have doubted it. However, the priests and their supporters took advantage of the situation and labeled it a religious crime. The Protestant parents were accused of murdering their son out of fear he might convert to Catholicism. The body was taken to the Hôtel de Ville and then escorted by priests to the cathedral. Religious groups—like the White Penitents—held solemn ceremonies for Marc Antoine's soul. The churches echoed with the priests’ exhortations, informing the congregation about the evidence needed to condemn the Calas family and urging them to come forward as witnesses. Based on these horrific assumptions, the poor old man was stretched until his limbs were dislocated. He was then subjected to the question extraordinaire, which involved pouring water into his mouth from a horn until his body swelled to twice its size. He had been drowned a hundred times over, yet he was still alive. He was then taken to the scaffold, where his limbs were broken with an iron bar, and he was left for two hours to die. He still didn't die, so the executioner finally strangled him; but he died without confessing to any crime. The man was innocent; he had nothing to confess. His unimaginable agony ultimately saved the lives of his wife and family, all as innocent as he was. Two daughters were forced into a convent; a son pretended to convert to Catholicism and was released. The servant escaped to a convent. The family's property was confiscated. The poor mother slipped away unnoticed. Eventually, another son, who had been apprenticed to a watchmaker in Nîmes, escaped to Geneva. This is a snapshot of France in the eighteenth century."

"Voltaire took poor young Calas into his family. He tried at once to interest the Cardinal de Bernis, the Duc de Choiseul, and others in this horrible story. He found for the widow a comfortable retreat at Paris; he employed the best lawyers he could find to give practical form to the business; he sent the daughters to join the mother. He paid all the expenses out of his own pocket. He reached the Chancellor; he made his appeal to Europe. He employed a clever young advocate M. Elie de Beaumont, to conduct the cast. The Queen of England, Frederick the Great, Catharine of Russia, were induced by Voltaire to help the Calas.

"Voltaire took the struggling young Calas into his home. He immediately tried to engage Cardinal de Bernis, Duc de Choiseul, and others in this dreadful story. He found a comfortable place for the widow in Paris; he hired the best lawyers he could to handle the case; he sent the daughters to be with their mother. He covered all the expenses himself. He reached out to the Chancellor and appealed to Europe. He enlisted a talented young lawyer, M. Elie de Beaumont, to take on the case. Voltaire convinced the Queen of England, Frederick the Great, and Catherine of Russia to support the Calas family."

"The case of the Sirvens was well-nigh as bad as that of the Calas. Sirven lived with his wife and three daughters, all Protestants, near Toulouse. The story is so illustrative of the France of the eighteenth century, and of what Voltaire was about, that it deserves a few lines. Sirven's housekeeper, a Roman Catholic, with the assent of the Bishop of Castres, spirited away the youngest daughter, and placed her in a convent of the Black Ladies with a view to her conversion. She returned to her parents in a state of insanity, her body covered with the marks of the whip. She never recovered from the cruelties she had endured at the convent. One day, when her father was absent on his professional duties, she threw herself into a well, at the bottom of which she was found drowned. It was obvious to the authorities that the parents had murdered their child because she wished to become a Roman Catholic. They most wisely did not appear, and were sentenced to be hanged when they could be caught. In their flight the married daughter gave premature birth to a child; and Madame Sirven died in despair. It took Voltaire ten years to get this abominable sentence reversed, and to turn wrong into right.

"The case of the Sirvens was almost as terrible as that of the Calas. Sirven lived with his wife and three daughters, all Protestants, near Toulouse. The story is so representative of France in the eighteenth century and what Voltaire was fighting against that it deserves a few lines. Sirven's housekeeper, a Roman Catholic, with the approval of the Bishop of Castres, kidnapped the youngest daughter and took her to a convent of the Black Ladies with the intention of converting her. She returned to her parents in a state of insanity, her body marked with whip scars. She never recovered from the horrors she experienced at the convent. One day, when her father was away for work, she jumped into a well, where she was found drowned. The authorities immediately assumed that the parents had murdered their child because she wanted to become a Roman Catholic. They wisely went into hiding, and a sentence was passed for them to be hanged if caught. During their flight, the married daughter gave birth prematurely, and Madame Sirven died in despair. It took Voltaire ten years to overturn this horrific sentence and to make things right."

"A Protestant gentleman, M. Espinasse, had been condemned to the galleys for life and his estate confiscated because he had given supper and lodging to a Protestant clergyman. He served twenty-three years; but in 1763 Voltaire obtained his release, and ultimately obtained back for the family a portion of their property.

"A Protestant man, M. Espinasse, was sentenced to life in the galleys and had his property taken away because he provided supper and shelter to a Protestant clergyman. He served twenty-three years; however, in 1763, Voltaire secured his release and eventually got back some of the family's property."

"The Chevalier de la Barre was another victim. Some person or persons unknown had hacked with a knife a wooden crucifix which stood on a bridge at Abbéville over the Somme. The same night a crucifix on one of the cemeteries was bespattered with mud. The bishop of the place set to work to stir up excitement, praying for punishment 'on those who had rendered themselves worthy of the severest punishment known to the world's law.' Young De la Barre was arrested. The evidence against him was that he, with certain companions, had been known to pass within thirty yards of a procession bearing the Sacrament without taking off their hats. It was further proved in evidence that he and his friends had sung certain objectionable songs, and that not only some novels had been found in his rooms, but also two small volumes of Voltaire's Dictionnaire Philosophique. On this evidence he was sentenced to be subjected to the torture, ordinary and extraordinary; to have his tongue torn out by the roots with pincers of iron, to have his right hand cut off at the door of the principal church at Abbéville, to be drawn in a cart to the market-place, and there to be burned to death by a slow fire. The sentence was mitigated so far that he was allowed to be beheaded before he was burned. This sentence was carried out on the 1st of July, 1766. These are samples of what was occurring in France. Was there not enough to rouse indignation to fever-heat?

"The Chevalier de la Barre was another victim. Someone had maliciously chopped up a wooden crucifix that stood on a bridge at Abbéville over the Somme. That same night, another crucifix in one of the cemeteries was splattered with mud. The local bishop began to incite outrage, praying for punishment 'on those who had made themselves deserving of the harshest penalties known to the law.' Young De la Barre was arrested. The evidence against him was that he, along with some friends, had been seen passing within thirty yards of a procession carrying the Sacrament without removing their hats. It was also alleged that he and his friends had sung some objectionable songs, and that not only were some novels found in his room, but also two small volumes of Voltaire's Dictionnaire Philosophique. Based on this evidence, he was sentenced to undergo torture, both ordinary and extraordinary; to have his tongue pulled out by the roots with iron pincers, to have his right hand cut off at the main church door in Abbéville, to be dragged in a cart to the marketplace, and there to be burned alive by a slow fire. The sentence was somewhat softened in that he was allowed to be beheaded before he was burned. This sentence was carried out on July 1, 1766. These are examples of what was happening in France. Was there not enough to raise indignation to a boiling point?"

"When one reads such stories, even at this distance of time, he understands the French Revolution and Voltaire."

"When you read stories like these, even after all this time, you get a sense of the French Revolution and Voltaire."

In all his writings Voltaire claimed to be religious, and was as ready to oppose with his sarcasms the agnostic or atheist, as the catholic. In speaking of Tully as a doubter, he makes Pococurante exclaim: "I once had some liking for his philosophical works; but when I found he doubted of everything, I thought I knew as much as himself, and had no need of a guide to learn ignorance."

In all his writings, Voltaire insisted he was religious and was just as quick to challenge agnostics or atheists with his sarcasm as he was Catholics. When talking about Tully as a skeptic, he has Pococurante say: "I used to appreciate his philosophical works; but when I realized he doubted everything, I figured I knew as much as he did and didn't need a guide to understand ignorance."

But while Voltaire was a Theist—as Lord Brougham says,[4] "without any hesitation or any intermission, a Theist"—and was a firm believer in the existence of a Creator and ruler of the universe,—he was also an avowed opponent of Catholicism; and when not engaged in the production of works which have added dignity to the literature of France, his life was passed in open warfare with the church of Rome. To this church he was as sincerely opposed as Martin Luther, and although his methods of attack and opposition differed entirely from that of the great German reformer, who shall say that his efforts have not proved even more successful? Macaulay has shown[5] that no Catholic nation has become Protestant since the period of the Reformation; while on the other hand, no nation once Protestant, has returned to Catholicism. Each party has retained its own territory, and the only gain has been in favor of religious freedom. The sincere and earnest appeals of Luther, which convulsed Germany, produced but little or no effect on the versatile mind of France. But the brilliant writings of Voltaire were welcomed by his countrymen, and have not been without their influence on French civilization. And although France has not been claimed as a protestant nation, yet freethinkers have there attained great power and influence, whilst Germany, once the stronghold of Protestantism, is now the chosen and hospitable home of freethought.

But while Voltaire was a theist—like Lord Brougham said, "without any hesitation or any intermission, a theist"—and firmly believed in the existence of a Creator and ruler of the universe, he was also a vocal opponent of Catholicism. When he wasn’t writing works that have added prestige to French literature, he was actively fighting against the Catholic Church. He was as genuinely opposed to this church as Martin Luther was, and although his methods of attack were entirely different from those of the great German reformer, who can say that his efforts haven’t been even more successful? Macaulay has shown that no Catholic nation has become Protestant since the Reformation; on the other hand, no nation that was once Protestant has returned to Catholicism. Each side has kept its own territory, and the only benefit has been the advancement of religious freedom. The sincere and passionate appeals of Luther, which shook Germany, had little effect on the adaptable mind of France. But the brilliant writings of Voltaire were embraced by his fellow countrymen and have had a significant impact on French civilization. Even though France hasn’t been identified as a Protestant nation, freethinkers have gained significant power and influence there, while Germany, once the stronghold of Protestantism, is now a welcoming home for freethought.

Voltaire in his day was an acknowledged leader of public opinion. His thoughts engrossed the attention of the world. "Whole nations," says Quinet,[6] "emulously repeat every syllable that falls from his pen:" and the lapse of time has but confirmed the verdict of his cotemporaries, that of all the great reformers, his writings are the most useful to mankind.

Voltaire was recognized in his time as a key influencer of public opinion. His ideas captured the world's attention. "Whole nations," says Quinet,[6] "eagerly repeat every syllable that comes from his pen:" and as time has passed, it has only reinforced the judgment of his contemporaries that, of all the great reformers, his writings are the most beneficial to humanity.

"If we judge of men by what they have done" says Lamartine,[7] "then Voltaire is incontestably the greatest writer of modern Europe. No one has caused, through the powerful influence of his genius alone, and the perseverance of his will, so great a commotion in the minds of men; his pen aroused a world, and has shaken a far mightier empire than that of Charlemagne, the European empire of a theocracy. His genius was not force but light. Heaven had destined him not to destroy but to illuminate, and wherever he trod light followed him, for reason (which is light) had destined him to be first her poet, then her apostle, and lastly her idol."

"If we judge people by what they have done," says Lamartine, [7] "then Voltaire is undeniably the greatest writer of modern Europe. No one has caused such a significant stir in people's minds solely through the immense influence of his genius and the persistence of his will; his writing awakened a world and has shaken a far greater empire than that of Charlemagne, the European empire of a theocracy. His genius was not force but light. Heaven intended him not to destroy but to illuminate, and wherever he went, light followed him, for reason (which is light) had chosen him to be first her poet, then her apostle, and ultimately her idol."

At seventeen years of age Voltaire wrote Œdipus, at eighty-three he wrote Irène. During the intervening years he enriched the world of thought with seventy volumes of irresistible humor—of brilliant and caustic wit,—in truth, a mine of literary gems undimmed with mediocrity's prosy dullness. In fact, it was this quality of humor and mirth that made Voltaire's writings so distasteful to his opponents—so welcome to mankind. Other writers, who went far beyond Voltaire, were not considered dangerous, because they were never read. They were sincere and learned, but tedious and austere. Their disbelief was condoned by its metaphysical obscurity—their skepticism was redeemed by its unmitigated dullness. But with Voltaire the case was very different. His writings were read and appreciated by old or young, grave or gay, sage or sophist, prince or peasant. To answer him was impossible—to abuse him was thought commendable.

At seventeen years old, Voltaire wrote Œdipus, and at eighty-three, he wrote Irène. In between, he enriched the world of ideas with seventy volumes of irresistible humor—brilliant and sharp wit—a true treasure trove of literary gems untouched by the dullness of mediocrity. In fact, it was this humor and joy that made Voltaire's writings so disliked by his opponents but so appreciated by people everywhere. Other writers, who surpassed Voltaire, weren't seen as a threat because they were never read. They were sincere and educated but boring and serious. Their disbelief was overlooked due to its confusing complexity, and their skepticism was excused by its sheer dullness. But Voltaire was different. His works were read and valued by everyone—old and young, serious and carefree, wise and clever, prince and peasant. It was impossible to argue with him—criticizing him was considered admirable.

"Napoleon, during fifteen years," says Lamartine,[8] "paid writers who degrade, vilify, and deny the genius of Voltaire; he hated his name as might must ever hate intellect; and so long as men yet cherished the memory of Voltaire—so long he felt his position was not secure." The church voluntarily joined in this work of aspersion. To the priests it was no hardship,—it was a welcome task—a labor of love. They hated the writings they could not answer—the genius they could not destroy.

"Napoleon, for fifteen years," says Lamartine,[8] "funded writers who belittled, slandered, and denied the genius of Voltaire; he hated his name as might always hate intellect; and as long as people still remembered Voltaire—he felt his position was never truly secure." The church willingly participated in this campaign of defamation. For the priests, it was no burden—it was a welcome task, a labor of love. They despised the writings they couldn't counter—the genius they couldn't eradicate.

"The church," says Macaulay,[9] "made no defense, except by acts of power. Censures were pronounced; books were seized; insults were offered to the remains of infidel writers but no Bossuet, no Pascal, came forth to encounter Voltaire. There appeared not a single defense of the catholic doctrine which produced any considerable effect, or which is even now remembered."

"The church," says Macaulay,[9] "didn't defend itself except through displays of power. Censures were issued; books were confiscated; the remains of non-believing writers were insulted, but no Bossuet, no Pascal, came forward to challenge Voltaire. Not a single defense of Catholic doctrine was presented that made any significant impact or is even remembered today."

"His element," says Schlosser,[10] "was the lighter kind of poetry, and his fugitive verses, his sharp wit, his bold opinions, produced effects in his time, like flashes of lightning, for they illuminated at the same time the night of Jesuitical superstition, and struck and shivered to pieces the majestic towers and gothic domes of the middle ages.

"His element," says Schlosser,[10] "was the lighter kind of poetry, and his fleeting verses, sharp humor, and strong opinions had an impact in his time, like bursts of lightning, as they both lit up the darkness of Jesuitical superstition and shattered the majestic towers and gothic domes of the Middle Ages.

"The so-called fugitive pieces alone, if he had written nothing else, would have been sufficient to secure Voltaire's immortality; for in these he is altogether in his sphere; he has only to think of the people whom he calls exclusively the world, and he can direct every spark of his genius to the production of instantaneous effect, delight his reader by his fancy, and surprise him by his wit.

"The so-called fugitive pieces alone, if he had written nothing else, would have been enough to ensure Voltaire's lasting legacy; in these, he is completely in his element; he only needs to consider the people he refers to as 'the world,' and he can focus all his creativity on creating an immediate impact, captivating his readers with his imagination, and astonishing them with his cleverness."

"The chief aim of each one of Voltaire's small novels is the overthrow and refutation of some ruling opinion, and this object is admirably attained by the story itself, and by weaving in sarcasms, because this rendered all reply and refutation impossible. Seriousness could never have reached the readers of these novels, or would immediately weary them; and every attempt to rival Voltaire in a strain of pleasantry and satire, would have been a folly.

The main goal of each of Voltaire's short novels is to challenge and disprove a prevailing belief, and this is achieved brilliantly through the story itself, along with clever sarcasm, making any counterarguments impossible. A serious tone would never engage the readers of these novels and would quickly bore them; any attempt to compete with Voltaire's humor and satire would be foolish.

"In Zadig he shows palpably and obviously how entirely devoid of reason and taste the usual moral and edifying considerations upon the way of Providence, upon a God who thinks, counsels, acts, and conducts the affairs of the world as a man, must appear to the bold scoffer. Voltaire, we would say, confined and limited the doctrine of an immediate guidance of human affairs by the hand of Divine Providence, wholly to the church and to the faith of the people; he roofed it out of higher life and out of science by means of his dreadful ridicule. By his narratives he made that obvious, which indeed is easily made palpable enough, because it is undeniable, that the theory of a palpable guidance of human affairs by an ever-manifesting interposing Providence, may be just as easily refuted as proved by history and experience. In Memnon is shown, in an admirable manner, how the multitude are enamoured of their prudence, and laugh at nature and its feelings. In the Ingenu, the witty man yields himself up wholly to his humor and to accident, and brings forth a rich abundance of wit and flashes of genius with respect to the most various subjects."

In Zadig, he clearly illustrates how completely lacking in reason and taste the typical moral and uplifting views on Providence—a God who thinks, advises, acts, and manages the world's affairs like a human—must seem to a daring skeptic. Voltaire, we could say, restricted the idea of direct guidance of human affairs by Divine Providence entirely to the church and the faith of the people; he excluded it from higher life and science using his sharp ridicule. Through his stories, he made clear what is actually quite obvious, because it's undeniable that the theory of a visible guidance of human affairs by an ever-present intervening Providence can be just as easily disproven as proven by history and experience. In Memnon, it is remarkably demonstrated how the masses are enamored with their own wisdom and mock nature and its feelings. In Ingenu, the witty character fully surrenders to his humor and chance, producing an abundance of wit and flashes of genius on a variety of topics.

"Voltaire had the genius of criticism," says Lamartine,[11] "that power of raillery which withers all it overthrows. He had made human nature laugh at itself, had felled it low in order to raise it, had laid bare before it all errors, prejudices, iniquities, and crimes of ignorance; he had urged it to rebellion against consecrated ideas, not by the ideal but by sheer contempt. Destiny gave him eighty years of existence, that he might slowly decompose the decayed age; he had the time to combat against time, and when he fell he was the conqueror.

"Voltaire had the gift of criticism," says Lamartine,[11] "that sharp wit that destroys everything it targets. He made humanity laugh at itself, brought it down to elevate it, exposed all its mistakes, biases, injustices, and crimes born from ignorance; he encouraged it to rebel against established ideas, not through lofty ideals but through outright disdain. Fate granted him eighty years of life, allowing him to gradually dismantle the worn-out era; he had the time to fight against time, and when he fell, he was the victor."

"Such were the elements of the revolution in religious matters. Voltaire laid hold of them, at the precise moment, with that coup d'œil of strong instinct which sees clearer than genius itself. To an age young, fickle, and unreflecting, he did not present reason under the form of an austere philosophy, but beneath the guise of a facile freedom of ideas, and a scoffing irony. He would not have succeeded in making his age think, he did succeed in making it smile. He never attacked it in front, nor with his face uncovered, in order that he might not set the laws in array against him; and to avoid the fate of Servetus, he, the modern Æsop, attacked under imaginary names the tyranny which he wished, to destroy. He concealed his hate in history, the drama, light poetry, romance, and even in jests. His genius was a perpetual allusion, comprehending all his age, but impossible to be seized on by his enemies. He struck, but his hand was concealed. Yet the struggle of a man against a priesthood, an individual against an institution, a life against eighteen centuries, was by no means destitute of courage.

"These were the elements of the revolution in religious matters. Voltaire seized them at just the right moment, with that keen instinct that sees more clearly than true genius. To a young, fickle, and unreflective age, he didn't present reason as a strict philosophy, but rather as a carefree freedom of ideas and a mocking irony. He may not have succeeded in making his era think, but he did manage to make it smile. He never confronted it directly or openly, so he wouldn’t draw the laws against him; to avoid the fate of Servetus, he, the modern Æsop, criticized the tyranny he wanted to dismantle under fictional names. He hid his disdain in history, drama, light poetry, romance, and even humor. His genius was a constant reference, encapsulating his entire era, yet impossible for his enemies to fully grasp. He struck, but his hand remained hidden. Still, the battle of one man against a priesthood, an individual against an institution, a life against eighteen centuries, was anything but lacking in courage."

"There is an incalculable power of conviction and devotion of idea, in the daring of one against all. To brave at once, with no other power than individual reason, with no other support than conscience, human consideration, that cowardice of the mind, masked under respect for error; to dare the hatred of earth and the anathema of heaven, is the heroism of the writer. Voltaire was not a martyr in his body, but he consented to be one in his name, and devoted it during his life and after his death. He condemned his own ashes to be thrown to the winds, and not to have either an asylum or a tomb. He resigned himself even to lengthened exile in exchange for the liberty of a free combat. He isolated himself voluntarily from men, in order that their too close contact might not interfere with his thoughts.

"There is an immense power in conviction and belief, in the courage of one person standing against everyone else. To confront everything, relying solely on individual reasoning and supported only by conscience, rejecting the fear of being judged by others that disguises itself as respect for mistakes; to challenge the world's hatred and the condemnation from above, is true heroism of a writer. Voltaire wasn’t a martyr in the physical sense, but he chose to be one in name, dedicating it during his life and even after his death. He allowed his ashes to be scattered to the winds, without a resting place or tomb. He accepted prolonged exile in exchange for the freedom to fight back. He voluntarily distanced himself from people so that their presence wouldn't disrupt his thinking."

"At eighty years of age, feeble, and feeling his death nearly approaching, he several times made his preparations hastily, in order to go and struggle still, and die at a distance from the roof of his old age. The unwearied activity of his mind was never checked for a moment. He carried his gaiety even to genius, and under that pleasantry of his whole life we may perceive a grave power of perseverance and conviction. Such was the character of this great man. The enlightened serenity of his mind concealed the depth of its workings: under the joke and laugh his constancy of purpose was hardly sufficiently recognized. He suffered all with a laugh, and was willing to endure all, even in absence from his native land, in his lost friendships, in his refused fame, in his blighted name, in his memory accursed. He took all—bore all—for the sake of the triumph of the independence of human reason."

"At eighty years old, frail and sensing his death approaching, he hurriedly made preparations several times to go out and continue fighting, wanting to die away from the home of his old age. His relentless mental energy was never interrupted for a moment. He infused his joy into his creativity, and beneath the lightheartedness of his entire life, we can see a serious strength of determination and belief. That was the essence of this remarkable man. The calm clarity of his mind hid its profound workings: beneath the jokes and laughter, his steadfast resolve went often unrecognized. He faced everything with a laugh and was willing to endure it all, even while away from his homeland, in his lost friendships, in his unacknowledged fame, in his tarnished reputation, and in his cursed memory. He accepted everything—endured everything—for the sake of the triumph of human reason's independence."

The manners and customs of the eighteenth century differ widely from those of the nineteenth. Certain words and phrases that were then in common use are now wisely suppressed. Lecky says very truly,[12] that "a Roman of the age of Pliny, an Englishman of the age of Henry VIII., and an Englishman of our own day, would all agree in regarding humanity as a virtue, and its opposite as a vice; but their judgments of the acts which are compatible with a humane disposition would be widely different."

The manners and customs of the eighteenth century are very different from those of the nineteenth. Some words and phrases that were commonly used back then are now rightly avoided. Lecky accurately points out that "a Roman from the age of Pliny, an Englishman from the time of Henry VIII, and an Englishman today would all agree that humanity is a virtue and its opposite is a vice; but their views on the actions that align with a humane attitude would vary greatly."

The enemies of freethought have taken advantage of this fact—this change in modes of expression—this refinement in literature—to defame the memory of Voltaire. They denounce La Pucelle or The Maid of Orleans for language and expressions, formerly popular in court circles and sanctioned by the nobility and ladies of fashion, but which, happily, have now become obsolete. They judge the license of the eighteenth century—the license and profligacy which accompany ecclesiasticism and monasticism—by nineteenth century standards. If the same rule were applied to other writers, none would have cause to complain. But, unfortunately, an exception has been unjustly made in favor of the language employed by historians like Moses and Solomon, by poets like Shakspeare and Pope, by theologians like Rabelais and Swift, by novelists like Fielding and Smollett. In short, immodest language cannot be redeemed by wit, by learning, or by pretended revelation, and should always and invariably be suppressed; but writers should be judged by the manners and customs of their age, and not by modern standards. There are many passages in the old classic authors that were formerly considered in good taste, which cannot now be commended. Still, the gold outweighs the dross, and we should remember the laxity and licentiousness of the times in which those books were written.

The opponents of free thought have exploited this reality—this shift in how we communicate—this improvement in literature—to tarnish the legacy of Voltaire. They criticize La Pucelle or The Maid of Orleans for language and expressions that were once trendy in court circles and accepted by the nobility and fashionable ladies, but thankfully, those have now become outdated. They evaluate the freedom of the eighteenth century—the freedom and excess that came with ecclesiasticism and monasticism—by the standards of the nineteenth century. If the same criteria were applied to other authors, none would have grounds for complaint. Unfortunately, however, an unfair exception has been made for the language used by historians like Moses and Solomon, poets like Shakespeare and Pope, theologians like Rabelais and Swift, and novelists like Fielding and Smollett. In short, crude language cannot be justified by wit, knowledge, or supposed divine inspiration, and it should always be suppressed; but writers should be assessed according to the customs and norms of their own time, not by contemporary standards. There are many sections in classic literature that were once seen as tasteful but cannot be praised today. Still, the valuable elements outweigh the worthless ones, and we should keep in mind the looseness and moral flexibility of the eras in which those works were created.

The romances and tales in this publication have been selected for their graceful and sprightly wit, as well as genial humor and keen satire; and further, because they are free from even a suspicion of impropriety. They each teach a lesson of wisdom and morality—they teach courage, fortitude and resignation, and, what is perhaps of even greater importance, they also tend to free the mind from the baneful errors of priestcraft and superstition.

The stories and tales in this publication were chosen for their charming and lively humor, as well as their friendly wit and sharp satire; additionally, they are completely free from any hint of impropriety. Each one imparts a lesson in wisdom and morality—they promote courage, strength, and acceptance, and, perhaps even more importantly, they help liberate the mind from the harmful mistakes of religious authority and superstition.

"The most interesting adventures are related to no sort of purpose," says Voltaire in one of his essays, "if they do not convey, at the same time, a description of manners. And even this is but a frivolous amusement, if that description does not contribute to inspire us with sentiments of virtue. I dare assert that, from the Henriade to Zara and down to the Chinese tragedy of The Orphan of Tchao such was always the aim I proposed, and the principle that conducted me. In the history of the age of Louis the fourteenth, I have celebrated my king and country, without flattering either. In these endeavors have I spent above forty years. But here is the advice of a Chinese philosopher, whose writings are translated into Spanish, by the famous Navarette:

"The most interesting adventures don't have any real purpose," says Voltaire in one of his essays, "if they don’t also provide a description of people's behavior. And even that is just a light entertainment if that description doesn’t inspire us with feelings of virtue. I can confidently say that from Henriade to Zara and down to the Chinese tragedy The Orphan of Tchao, this has always been my goal and the guiding principle behind my work. In the history of the era of Louis the Fourteenth, I have celebrated my king and my country, without flattering either one. I have dedicated over forty years to these efforts. But here is the advice of a Chinese philosopher, whose writings have been translated into Spanish by the famous Navarette:

"'If you write a book, show it only to your friends. Dread the public and your brother authors. They will embitter your expressions, misrepresent your meaning, and impute to you, what you never thought of. Calumny, which has an hundred mouths, will open them against you; and truth, which is silent, will remain with you.'"

"'If you write a book, only share it with your friends. Be cautious of the public and other authors. They will twist your words, misinterpret your ideas, and attribute thoughts to you that you never had. Malicious gossip, which has countless sources, will come for you; and the truth, which is quiet, will stay with you.'"

It has been said of Voltaire that he was "not only just, but generous in his dealings with others. With open purse and open heart, helpful to all who approached him. Collini, his secretary, said he was a miser only of his time, which was always usefully employed. But we are also told that there was one person to whom he could not even deny his time—it was Mademoiselle de Varicourt—Belle-et-Bonne—whom he had adopted, and who was afterward married to the Marquis de Villette. "She could never disturb him," says A.A. Knox, "not even when he was giving the last touches to Irène. If he were in a passion with anybody else, and she appeared in the room, he was at once gentle and calm. There is something very affecting in the old man's love and tenderness for this young girl."

It has been said of Voltaire that he was "not only fair, but also generous in his dealings with others. With an open wallet and an open heart, he was helpful to everyone who approached him. Collini, his secretary, mentioned that he was a miser only of his time, which he always used wisely. But we also hear that there was one person he could never refuse his time to—it was Mademoiselle de Varicourt—Belle-et-Bonne—whom he had taken in, and who later married the Marquis de Villette. "She could never bother him," says A.A. Knox, "not even when he was putting the final touches on Irène. If he was in a bad mood with someone else and she walked into the room, he instantly became gentle and calm. There’s something very touching about the old man’s love and affection for this young girl."

After the success of the French Revolution, to which the writings of Voltaire had so greatly contributed, when the National Assembly ordered the removal of his remains to the Pantheon, to repose between the ashes of Descartes and Mirabeau—when France honored herself in honoring the great philosopher—it was Belle-et-Bonne—in the full splendor of her majestic beauty—her heart overflowing with tenderness and gratitude—her eyes dimmed with pathetic tears—who placed with loving hands on the bier of her noble benefactor the wreath of filial affection—the grandest tribute that humanity can bestow.

After the success of the French Revolution, which the writings of Voltaire significantly influenced, when the National Assembly decided to move his remains to the Pantheon to rest between the ashes of Descartes and Mirabeau—when France honored itself by honoring the great philosopher—it was Belle-et-Bonne—in the full splendor of her majestic beauty—her heart overflowing with tenderness and gratitude—her eyes filled with poignant tears—who lovingly placed on the bier of her noble benefactor the wreath of filial affection—the greatest tribute humanity can give.

PETER ECKLER.

New York, Jan. 28, 1885.

PETER ECKLER.

New York, Jan. 28, 1885.


[1] This work, says Prof. F.C. Schlosser in his History of the Eighteenth Century, (vol. ii, p. 122.) "was sent to the pope, and very favorably received by him; although it could not possibly escape the notice of the pope, that the piece was indebted for its chief effect upon the public, to the vehement expressions against religious fanaticism which it contained. The pope felt himself flattered by the transmission of the Mahomet, and notified his approbation, of which Voltaire cunningly enough availed himself, for the advantage of his new principles."

[1] This work, according to Prof. F.C. Schlosser in his History of the Eighteenth Century, (vol. ii, p. 122) "was sent to the pope and received very positively by him; although he surely noticed that the piece gained most of its impact from the strong criticisms of religious fanaticism it contained. The pope felt flattered by receiving the Mahomet, and he expressed his approval, which Voltaire cleverly used to support his new ideas."

[2] Critical and Historical Essays, page 553.

[2] Critical and Historical Essays, page 553.

[3] Vol. iv, No. 39.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Vol. 4, No. 39.

[4] Men of Letters of the time of George III.

[4] Writers and intellectuals during the reign of George III.

[5] Critical & Historical Essays, p. 553.

[5] Critical & Historical Essays, p. 553.

[6] Lectures on the Romish Church.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Lectures on the Catholic Church.

[7] History of the Girondists, vol. i, p. 152.

[7] History of the Girondists, vol. i, p. 152.

[8] History of the Girondists, vol. i, p. 152.

[8] History of the Girondists, vol. i, p. 152.

[9] Critical and Historical Essays, p. 553.

[9] Critical and Historical Essays, p. 553.

[10] History of the Eighteenth Century, vol. i, pp. 263-269.

[10] History of the Eighteenth Century, vol. i, pp. 263-269.

[11] History of the Girondists, vol. i, pp. 15, 154, 155, 156.

[11] History of the Girondists, vol. 1, pp. 15, 154, 155, 156.

[12] History of European Morals, vol. i, page iii.

[12] History of European Morals, vol. i, page iii.


The illustrations in this work and a few notes have been added by the publisher. The head of Voltaire in the frontispiece is from a bust by Houdon, and is copied from an engraving published by Messrs. J. & H.L. Hunt, London, 1824. It represents the gifted author as he appeared in his eighty-third year. The full-length portrait of Voltaire on page iii, shows him in his seventieth year, and the remaining portrait, on page xii, gives his likeness in early manhood; it is from a French edition of his works published in 1746.


The illustrations in this work and a few notes were added by the publisher. The head of Voltaire in the frontispiece is based on a bust by Houdon and is copied from an engraving published by Messrs. J. & H.L. Hunt, London, 1824. It shows the talented author as he looked at eighty-three. The full-length portrait of Voltaire on page iii depicts him at seventy, while the other portrait on page xii captures his likeness in early manhood; it comes from a French edition of his works published in 1746.


Voltaire in early manhood. Young Voltaire.

CONTENTS.



THE WHITE BULL: A SATIRICAL ROMANCE.

CHAPTER I. How the Princess Amasidia meets a bull.
CHAPTER II. How the wise Mambres, formerly magician
of Pharoah, knew again the old woman, and was known
by her.
CHAPTER III. How the beautiful Amasidia had a secret
conversation with a beautiful serpent.
CHAPTER IV. How they wanted to sacrifice the bull and
exorcise the Princess.
CHAPTER V. How the wise Mambres conducted himself wisely.
CHAPTER VI. How Mambres met three prophets, and gave
them a good dinner.
CHAPTER VII. How king Amasis wanted to give the White
Bull to be devoured by the fish of Jonah, and did not
do it.
CHAPTER VIII. How the serpent told stories to the
Princess to comfort her.
CHAPTER IX. How the serpent did not comfort the Princess.
CHAPTER X. How they wanted to behead the Princess, and
did not do it.
CHAPTER XI. Apotheosis of the White Bull. Triumph of the
wise Mambres. The seven years proclaimed by Daniel are
accomplished. Nebuchadnezzar resumes the human form, marries
the beautiful Amasidia, and ascends the throne of Babylon.


ZADIG; OR FATE.

Approbation.
Epistle dedicatory to the Sultana Sheraa.

I. The Blind of one Eye.
II. The Nose.
III. The Dog and the Horse.
IV. The Envious Man.
V. The Generous.
VI. The Minister.
VII. The Disputes and the Audiences.
VIII. Jealousy.
IX. The Woman Beater.
X. Slavery.
XI. The Funeral Pile.
XII. The Supper.
XIII. The Rendezvous.
XIV. The Robber.
XV. The Fisherman.
XVI. The Basilisk.
XVII. The Combats.
XVIII. The Hermit.
XIX. The Enigmas.


THE SAGE AND THE ATHEIST.

Introduction

CHAPTER I. Adventures of Johnny, a young Englishman,
written by Donna Las Nalgas
CHAPTER II. Continuation of the adventures of John,
the young Englishman; also those of his worthy father,
D.D., M.P., and F.R.S.
CHAPTER III. Summary of the controversy of the "Buts,"
between Mr. Freind and Don Inigo-y-Medroso, y-Comodios,
y-Papalamiendos, Bachelor of Salamanca
CHAPTER IV. John returns to London and is led into
bad company
CHAPTER V. They want to get John married
CHAPTER VI. A terrible adventure
CHAPTER VII. What happened in America
CHAPTER VIII. Dialogue between Freind and Birton
on Atheism
CHAPTER IX. On Atheism
CHAPTER X. On Atheism
CHAPTER XI. Return to England—John's marriage


THE PRINCESS OF BABYLON.

I. Royal contest for the hand of Formosanta
II. The King of Babylon convenes his Council and consults
the Oracle
III. Royal festival given in honor of the kingly visitors.
The bird converses eloquently with Formosanta
IV. The beautiful bird is killed by the King of Egypt.
Formosanta begins a journey. Aldea elopes with the King
of Scythia
V. Formosanta visits China and Scythia in search of
Amazan
VI. The Princess continues her journey
VII. Amazan visits Albion
VIII. Amazan leaves Albion to visit the land of Saturn
IX. Amazan visits Rome
X. An unfortunate adventure in Gaul
XI. Amazan and Formosanta become reconciled


THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.

I. National Poverty
II. Disaster of the Man of Forty Crowns
III. Conversation with a Geometrician
IV. An adventure with a Carmelite
V. Audience of the Comptroller General
VI. The Man of Forty Crowns marries, becomes a father,
and discants upon the monks
VII. On taxes paid to a foreign power
VIII. On Proportions
IX. A great quarrel
X. A rascal repulsed
XI. The good sense of Mr. Andrew
XII. The good supper at Mr. Andrew's


THE HURON; OR, PUPIL OF NATURE.

I. The Huron arrives in France
II. The Huron, called the Ingenu, acknowledged by
his relatives
III. The Huron converted
IV. The Huron baptized
V. The Huron in love
VI. The Huron flies to his mistress, and becomes
quite furious
VII. The Huron repulses the English
VIII. The Huron goes to Court. Sups upon the road with
some Huguenots
IX. The arrival of the Huron at Versailles. His reception
at Court
X. The Huron is shut up in the Bastile with a Jansenist
XI. How the Huron discloses his genius
XII. The Huron's sentiments upon theatrical pieces
XIII. The beautiful Miss St. Yves goes to Versailles
XIV. Rapid progress of the Huron's intellect
XV. The beautiful Miss St. Yves visits M. de St. Pouange
XVI. Miss St. Yves consults a Jesuit
XVII. The Jesuit triumphs
XVIII. Miss St. Yves delivers her lover and a Jansenist
XIX. The Huron, the beautiful Miss St. Yves, and their
relatives, are convened
XX. The death of the beautiful Miss St. Yves and its
consequences


MICROMEGAS.

I. A voyage to the planet Saturn, by a native of Sirius
II. The conversation between Micromegas and the inhabitant
of Saturn
III. The voyage of these inhabitants of other worlds
IV. What befell them upon this our globe
V. The travelers capture a vessel
VI. What happened in their intercourse with men


THE WORLD AS IT GOES

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE

MEMNON THE PHILOSOPHER

ANDRÉ DES TOUCHES AT SIAM

BABABEC


THE STUDY OF NATURE.

I. Introduction
II. The study of Nature
III. Good advice
IV. Dialogue upon the soul and other topics


A CONVERSATION WITH A CHINESE
PLATO'S DREAM
PLEASURE IN HAVING NO PLEASURE
AN ADVENTURE IN INDIA
JEANNOT AND COLIN
THE TRAVELS OF SCARMENTADO
THE GOOD BRAMIN
THE TWO COMFORTERS
ANCIENT FAITH AND FABLE


List of Illustrations



THE WHITE BULL: A SATIRICAL ROMANCE.

CHAPTER I. How Princess Amasidia meets a bull.
CHAPTER II. How the wise Mambres, once a magician
for Pharaoh, recognized the old woman, and she recognized
him.
CHAPTER III. How the beautiful Amasidia had a secret
chat with a charming snake.
CHAPTER IV. How they planned to sacrifice the bull and
exorcise the princess.
CHAPTER V. How wise Mambres acted wisely.
CHAPTER VI. How Mambres met three prophets and treated
take them out to dinner.
CHAPTER VII. How King Amasis wanted to feed the White
Bull to the fish of Jonah, but didn’t.
CHAPTER VIII. How the serpent told stories to the
Princess to comfort her.
CHAPTER IX. How the serpent failed to comfort the Princess.
CHAPTER X. How they plotted to behead the Princess, and
didn't go through with it.
CHAPTER XI. Apotheosis of the White Bull. Triumph of the
wise Mambres. The seven years predicted by Daniel are
fulfilled. Nebuchadnezzar gets his human form back and marries
the beautiful Amasidia, and takes the throne of Babylon.


Zadig; or Destiny.

Approbation.
Epistle dedicatory to the Sultana Sheraa.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ One-Eyed Blind.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Nose.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Dog and the Horse.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Jealous Guy.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Giving.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Minister.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Conflicts and the Viewers.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Envy.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Abuser.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Human trafficking.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Funeral Pyre.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Dinner.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Meetup.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Thief.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Fisherman.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Basilisk.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Battles.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Recluse.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ The Mysteries.


THE WISDOM AND THE ATHEIST.

Introduction

CHAPTER I. Adventures of Johnny, a young Englishman,
written by Donna Las Nalgas
CHAPTER II. Continuation of the adventures of John,
the young Englishman, along with those of his respectable father,
D.D., M.P., and F.R.S.
CHAPTER III. Summary of the controversy regarding the "Buts,"
between Mr. Freind and Don Inigo-y-Medroso, y-Comodios,
y-Papalamiendos, BA of Salamanca
CHAPTER IV. John returns to London and falls into
toxic friends
CHAPTER V. They want to get John married
CHAPTER VI. A terrible adventure
CHAPTER VII. What happened in America
CHAPTER VIII. Dialogue between Freind and Birton
about Atheism
CHAPTER IX. On Atheism
CHAPTER X. On Atheism
CHAPTER XI. Return to England—John's marriage


THE PRINCESS OF BABYLON.

I. Royal contest for the hand of Formosanta
II. The King of Babylon convenes his Council and consults
the Oracle
III. Royal festival held in honor of the kingly visitors.
The bird communicates beautifully with Formosanta.
IV. The beautiful bird is killed by the King of Egypt.
Formosanta starts her journey. Aldea runs away with the King.
of Scythia
V. Formosanta visits China and Scythia in search of
Amazon
VI. The Princess continues her journey
VII. Amazan visits Albion
VIII. Amazan leaves Albion to travel to the land of Saturn
IX. Amazan visits Rome
X. An unfortunate adventure in Gaul
XI. Amazan and Formosanta reconcile


The Man of Forty Crowns.

I. National Poverty
II. Disaster of the Man of Forty Crowns
III. Conversation with a Geometrician
IV. An adventure with a Carmelite
V. Audience of the Comptroller General
VI. The Man of Forty Crowns marries, becomes a father,
and talks about the monks
VII. On taxes paid to a foreign power
VIII. On Proportions
IX. A great quarrel
X. A rascal rejected
XI. The good sense of Mr. Andrew
XII. The good dinner at Mr. Andrew's


THE HURON; OR, STUDENT OF NATURE.

I. The Huron arrives in France
II. The Huron, known as the Ingenu, recognized by
his family
III. The Huron converted
IV. The Huron baptized
V. The Huron in love
VI. The Huron rushes to his mistress, becoming
very angry
VII. The Huron fights off the English
VIII. The Huron goes to Court. Eats on the road with
some French Protestants
IX. The arrival of the Huron at Versailles. His reception
in court
X. The Huron is imprisoned in the Bastille with a Jansenist
XI. How the Huron reveals his genius
XII. The Huron's thoughts on theater pieces
XIII. The beautiful Miss St. Yves goes to Versailles
XIV. The Huron's intellect rapidly develops
XV. The beautiful Miss St. Yves visits M. de St. Pouange
XVI. Miss St. Yves consults a Jesuit
XVII. The Jesuit wins
XVIII. Miss St. Yves frees her lover and a Jansenist
XIX. The Huron, the beautiful Miss St. Yves, and their
family, gather
XX. The death of the beautiful Miss St. Yves and its
repercussions


MICROMEGAS.

I. A journey to the planet Saturn, by a native of Sirius
II. The conversation between Micromegas and the inhabitant
of Saturn
III. The journey of these beings from other worlds
IV. What happened to them on this earth
V. The travelers take a ship
VI. What occurred in their interactions with humans


THE WORLD AS IT GOES

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE

MEMNON THE PHILOSOPHER

ANDRÉ DES TOUCHES AT SIAM

BABABEC


Natures studies.

I. Introduction
II. The study of Nature
III. Good advice
IV. Dialogue about the soul and other topics


A CONVERSATION WITH A CHINESE
PLATO'S DREAM
PLEASURE IN HAVING NO PLEASURE
AN ADVENTURE IN INDIA
JEANNOT AND COLIN
THE TRAVELS OF SCARMENTADO
THE GOOD BRAMIN
THE TWO COMFORTERS
ANCIENT FAITH AND FABLE


List of Illustrations


The White Bull The white bull. A satirical romance. — "Daniel turned a king into this bull, and I have turned this bull into a god!"
TAURUS.

The object and significance of ancient Tauric and Phallic worship have been clearly set forth by Dupuis, Payne Knight, and other learned authors, and we have, even at the present day, a survival of the ancient faith, in the Mayday festivals of India and Britain, which were originally instituted to celebrate the entrance of the sun into the zodiacal sign Taurus, at the vernal equinox, when the god Osiris was worshiped in Egypt under the form of a bull called Apis.

The purpose and significance of ancient Tauric and Phallic worship have been clearly outlined by Dupuis, Payne Knight, and other knowledgeable authors. Even today, we see remnants of this ancient belief in the May Day festivals in India and Britain, which were originally held to celebrate the arrival of the sun into the zodiac sign Taurus during the spring equinox, when the god Osiris was honored in Egypt as a bull named Apis.

"The general devotion of the ancients to the worship of the BULL," says the Rev. Mr. Maurice in his learned work on the Antiquities of India, "I have had frequent occasion to remark, and more particularly in the Indian history, by their devotion to it at that period 'when the Bull with his horns opened the Vernal year.' I observed that all nations seem anciently to have vied with each other in celebrating that blissful epoch; and that the moment the sun entered the sign Taurus, were displayed the signals of triumph and the incentives to passion; that memorials of the universal festivity indulged at that season, are to be found in the records and customs of people otherwise the most opposite in manners and most remote in situation;... that the Apis, or Sacred Bull of Egypt, was only the symbol of the sun in the vigor of vernal youth; and that the Bull of Japan, breaking with his horn the mundane egg, was evidently connected with the same bovine species of superstition, founded on the mixture of astronomy and mythology."

"The dedication of ancient peoples to the worship of the BULL," writes Rev. Mr. Maurice in his scholarly work on the Antiquities of India, "is something I've often observed, especially in Indian history, during the time 'when the Bull with his horns welcomed the Spring season.' It appears that all ancient cultures vied to celebrate that joyful time; as soon as the sun entered the Taurus sign, celebrations and calls to passion filled the air. Traces of this widespread festivity can be found in the customs of societies that are otherwise quite different and geographically distant;... that the Apis, or Sacred Bull of Egypt, represented the sun in its full spring glory; and that the Bull of Japan, breaking the cosmic egg with his horn, clearly connects back to the same cow-related beliefs rooted in a mix of astronomy and mythology."

"In many of the most ancient temples or India," says Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis, "the Bull, as an object of adoration makes a most conspicuous figure. A gigantic image of one protrudes from the front of the temple of the Great Creator, called in the language of the country, Jaggernaut, in Orissa. This is the Bull of the Zodiac,—the emblem of the sun when the equinox took place in the first degree of the sign of the Zodiac, Taurus. In consequence of the precession of the equinoxes, the sun at the vernal equinox left Taurus, and took place in Aries, which it has left also for a great number of years, and it now takes place in Aquarius. Thus it keeps receding about one degree in seventy-two years, and about a whole sign in 2,160 years. M. Dupuis has demonstrated that the labors of Hercules are nothing but a history of the passage of the sun through the signs of the zodiac; and that Hercules is the sun in Aries or the Ram, Bacchus the sun in Taurus or the Bull. The adoration of the Bull of the zodiac is to be met with everywhere throughout the world, in the most opposite climes. The examples of it are innumerable and incontrovertable; they admit of no dispute.

"In many of the oldest temples in India," says Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis, "the Bull is a key object of worship. A large statue of one stands prominently at the front of the temple of the Great Creator, referred to locally as Jaggernaut, in Orissa. This is the Bull of the Zodiac—the symbol of the sun when the equinox occurred in the first degree of the Zodiac sign, Taurus. Due to the precession of the equinoxes, the sun at the vernal equinox has moved from Taurus to Aries, and after many years, it has now moved into Aquarius. It continues to move backward about one degree every seventy-two years and shifts through an entire sign every 2,160 years. M. Dupuis has shown that the labors of Hercules simply narrate the sun's journey through the zodiac signs; Hercules represents the sun in Aries or the Ram, while Bacchus symbolizes the sun in Taurus or the Bull. The worship of the Bull of the Zodiac can be found across the globe, in various climates. Countless, undeniable examples exist, leaving no room for doubt."

"It appears from the book or history of the Exod, that it was on the leaving of Egypt that Moses changed the object of adoration from Taurus to Aries. It appears that the change took place on the mountain of Sin, or Nisi, or Bacchus, which was evidently its old name before Moses arrived there. The Israelites were punished for adhering to the old worship, that of the Calf, in opposition to the paschal Lamb, which Moses had substituted—'the Lamb which taketh away the sins of the world,'—in place of the Bull or Calf which took away the sins of the world.

"It appears from the history of the Exodus that when they left Egypt, Moses shifted the focus of worship from the Bull to the Ram. This change seems to have occurred on the mountain of Sin, or Nisi, or Bacchus, which was clearly its previous name before Moses arrived. The Israelites faced punishment for clinging to the old worship of the Calf instead of embracing the paschal Lamb introduced by Moses—'the Lamb that takes away the sins of the world'—replacing the Bull or Calf that previously served that role."

"The planets were in later times all called by names appropriated to the days of the week, which were dedicated by astrologers to the gods who were typified by the Bull: Monday to the horned Isis; Tuesday to Mercury, the same as Hermes and Osiris; Wednesday to Woden, Fo, Buddha, and Surya; Thursday or Thor-day, or Tur, or Taurus, or Bull-day, to Jove or Jupiter, who, as a Bull, stole Europa; Friday was dedicated to Venus, Ashteroth or beeve-horned Astarte; Saturday to Saturn, identified by Mr. Faber with Moloch and the Centaur Cronus or Taschter; Sunday to the Sun, everywhere typified by Taurus. All these, I think, must have taken their names after the entrance of the Sun into Taurus; and before this date all history and even mythology fails us.

The planets were later named after the days of the week, which astrologers linked to the gods represented by the Bull: Monday referred to the horned Isis; Tuesday was connected to Mercury, also known as Hermes and Osiris; Wednesday was dedicated to Woden, Fo, Buddha, and Surya; Thursday, or Thor-day or Tur, or Taurus, was associated with Jove or Jupiter, who, in bull form, kidnapped Europa; Friday was assigned to Venus, Ashteroth, or the bee-horned Astarte; Saturday was for Saturn, whom Mr. Faber associated with Moloch and the Centaur Cronus or Taschter; and Sunday was dedicated to the Sun, often represented by Taurus. I believe these names were established after the Sun entered Taurus, and prior to that, there is no historical or mythological evidence.

"In ancient collections we often meet with a person in the prime of life killing a young bull. He is generally accompanied with a number of astrological emblems. This Bull was the mediatorial Mithra, slain to make atonement for, and to take away the sins of the world. This was the God Bull, to whom the prayers were addressed which we find in Bryant and Faber, and in which he is expressly called the Mediator. This is the Bull of Persia, which Sir. William Jones and Mr. Faber identify with Buddha or Mahabad. The sacrifice of the Bull, which taketh away the sins of the world, was succeeded by the sacrifice of the Agni or of Fire, by our Indians in, comparatively speaking, modern times; it was closely connected with the two principles spoken of above. While the sun was in Taurus, the Bull was slain as the vicarious sacrifice; when it got into Aries, the Ram or Lamb was substituted.

"In ancient collections, we often see a person in their prime sacrificing a young bull. This figure is usually accompanied by various astrological symbols. This Bull was the mediatorial Mithra, sacrificed to atone for and eliminate the sins of the world. This is the God Bull, to whom the prayers mentioned in Bryant and Faber are directed, where he is specifically referred to as the Mediator. This is the Bull of Persia, which Sir William Jones and Mr. Faber connect to Buddha or Mahabad. The sacrifice of the Bull, which removes the sins of the world, was followed by the sacrifice of Agni or Fire, by our Indians in relatively modern times; it was closely associated with the two principles mentioned earlier. While the sun was in Taurus, the Bull was sacrificed as the vicarious offering; when it transitioned into Aries, the Ram or Lamb took its place."

"M. Dupuis observes, that the lamb was a symbol or mark of initiation into the Christian mysteries, a sort of proof of admission into the societies of the initiated of the lamb, like the private sign of the free-masons. It follows, then, that the mysteries of Christ are the mysteries of the Lamb, and that the mysteries of the Lamb are mysteries of the same nature as those of the Mithraitic Bull to which they succeeded by the effect of the precession of the equinoxes, which substituted the slain lamb for the slain bull."—E.

"M. Dupuis notes that the lamb was a symbol or sign of initiation into Christian mysteries, a kind of proof of entry into the groups of those initiated by the lamb, akin to the private sign of the Freemasons. Therefore, the mysteries of Christ are the mysteries of the Lamb, and the mysteries of the Lamb are similar to those of the Mithraic Bull, which they replaced due to the precession of the equinoxes that exchanged the slain lamb for the slain bull."—E.


THE WHITE BULL.

Apis. Apis. [1]

CHAPTER I.

HOW PRINCESS AMASIDIA MEETS A BULL.

The princess Amasidia, daughter of Amasis, King of Tanis in Egypt, took a walk upon the highway of Peluaium with the ladies of her train. She was sunk in deep melancholy. Tears gushed from her beautiful eyes. The cause of her grief was known, as well as the fears she entertained lest that grief should displease the king, her father. The old man, Mambres, ancient magician and eunuch of the Pharoahs, was beside her, and seldom left her. He was present at her birth. He had educated her, and taught her all that a fair princess was allowed to know of the sciences of Egypt. The mind of Amasidia equaled her beauty. Her sensibility and tenderness rivaled the charms of her person; and it was this sensibility which cost her so many tears.

The princess Amasidia, daughter of Amasis, King of Tanis in Egypt, was taking a walk along the highway of Peluaium with her ladies-in-waiting. She was overwhelmed with deep sadness. Tears streamed from her beautiful eyes. Everyone knew the reason for her sorrow, as well as her worries that her grief might upset her father, the king. The older man, Mambres, a wise magician and eunuch of the Pharaohs, was with her and rarely left her side. He had been there at her birth, educated her, and taught her everything a lovely princess was allowed to know about the sciences of Egypt. Amasidia’s intelligence matched her beauty. Her sensitivity and compassion rivaled her physical charm; it was this sensitivity that brought her so many tears.

The princess was twenty-four years old, the magician, Mambres, about thirteen hundred. It was he, as every one knows, who had that famous dispute with Moses, in which the victory was so long doubtful between these two profound philosophers. If Mambres yielded, it was owing to the visible protection of the celestial powers, who favored his rival. It required gods to overcome Mambres!

The princess was twenty-four years old, and the magician, Mambres, was about thirteen hundred. He was the one, as everyone knows, who had that famous argument with Moses, where the outcome was uncertain for such a long time between these two deep thinkers. If Mambres lost, it was because of the clear support of divine forces that backed his opponent. It took gods to defeat Mambres!

Amasis made him superintendent of his daughter's household, and he acquitted himself in this office with his usual prudence. His compassion was excited by the sighs of the beautiful Amasidia.

Amasis appointed him as the manager of his daughter's household, and he handled this role with his usual wisdom. He felt a deep sympathy for the sighs of the lovely Amasidia.

"O, my lover!" said she to herself, "my young, my dear lover! O, greatest of conquerors, most accomplished, most beautiful of men! Almost seven years hast thou disappeared from the world. What God hath snatched thee from thy tender Amasidia? Thou art not dead. The wise Egyptian prophets confess this. But thou art dead to me. I am alone in the world. To me it is a desert. By what extraordinary prodigy hast thou abandoned thy throne and thy mistress?—thy throne, which was the first in the world—however, that is a matter of small consequence; but to abandon me, who adores thee! O, my dear Ne—"

"O, my love!" she said to herself, "my young, my dear love! O, greatest of conquerors, most skilled, most beautiful of men! You've been gone from the world for almost seven years. What God has taken you away from your dear Amasidia? You're not dead. The wise Egyptian prophets confirm this. But you're dead to me. I feel alone in the world. To me, it feels like a desert. By what incredible miracle have you left your throne and your lover?—your throne, which was the most important in the world—though that's not a big deal; but to leave me, who adores you! O, my dear Ne—"

She was going on.

She was rambling.

Silence

"Tremble to pronounce that fatal name," said Mambres, the ancient eunuch and magician of the Pharoahs. "You would perhaps be discovered by some of the ladies of your court. They are all very much devoted to you, and all fair ladies certainly make it a merit to serve the noble passions of fair princesses. But there may be one among them indiscreet, and even treacherous. You know that your father, although he loves you, has sworn to put you to death, should you pronounce the terrible name always ready to escape your lips. This law is severe; but you have not been educated in Egyptian wisdom to be ignorant of the government of the tongue. Remember that Hippocrates, one of our greatest gods, has always his finger upon his mouth."

"Tremble to say that fatal name," said Mambres, the ancient eunuch and magician of the Pharaohs. "You might be overheard by some of the ladies in your court. They all care deeply for you, and all beautiful women certainly take pride in serving the noble passions of fair princesses. But there could be one among them who is indiscreet, or even treacherous. You know that your father, although he loves you, has sworn to kill you if you say the terrible name that is always on the tip of your tongue. This law is harsh, but you haven't been educated in Egyptian wisdom to be ignorant of how to control your speech. Remember that Hippocrates, one of our greatest gods, always has his finger on his lips."

The beautiful Amasidia wept, and was silent.

The beautiful Amasidia cried and stayed quiet.

As she pensively advanced toward the banks of the Nile she perceived at a distance, under a thicket watered by the river, an old woman in a tattered gray garment, seated on a hillock. This old woman had beside her a she-ass, a dog, and a he-goat. Opposite to her was a serpent, which was not like the common serpents; for its eyes were mild, its physiognomy noble and engaging, while its skin shone with the liveliest and brightest colors. A huge fish, half immersed in the river, was not the least astonishing figure in the group; and on a neighboring tree were perched a raven and a pigeon. All these creatures seemed to carry on a very animated conversation.

As she thoughtfully made her way toward the banks of the Nile, she noticed in the distance, under a thicket by the river, an old woman in a worn-out gray outfit, sitting on a small mound. Next to her were a donkey, a dog, and a male goat. Facing her was a serpent that was different from typical snakes; its eyes were gentle, its face was dignified and friendly, and its skin glimmered with bright, vivid colors. A large fish, half-submerged in the river, was another surprising sight in the group; and on a nearby tree sat a raven and a pigeon. All these creatures seemed to be having a lively conversation.

Amasidia—"O, my lover! my young, my dear lover! O, greatest of conquerors, most accomplished, most beautiful of men!" Amasidia—"Oh, my love! my young, dear love! Oh, greatest of conquerors, most skilled, most handsome of men!"

"Alas!" said the princess in a low tone, "these animals undoubtedly speak of their loves, and it is not so much as allowed me to mention the name of mine."

"Alas!" said the princess quietly, "these animals definitely talk about their loves, and I'm not even allowed to mention the name of mine."

The old woman held in her hand a slender steel chain a hundred fathoms long, to which was fastened a bull who fed in the meadow. This bull was white, perfectly well-made, plump, and at the same time agile, which is a thing seldom to be found. He was indeed the most beautiful specimen that was ever seen of his kind. Neither the bull of Pasiphæ, nor that in whose shape Jupiter appeared when he carried off Europa, could be compared to this noble animal. The charming young heifer into which Isis was changed, would have scarce been worthy of his company.

The old woman held a slender steel chain a hundred fathoms long, which was attached to a bull grazing in the meadow. This bull was white, perfectly built, plump, and yet agile, a rare combination. He was truly the most beautiful example of his kind ever seen. Neither the bull of Pasiphaë nor the one Jupiter transformed into when he abducted Europa could compare to this magnificent creature. The lovely young heifer that Isis turned into would hardly have been worthy of his company.

As soon as the bull saw the princess he ran toward her with the swiftness of a young Arabian horse, who pricks up his ears and flies over the plains and rivers of the ancient Saana to approach the lovely consort whose image reigns in his heart. The old woman used her utmost efforts to restrain the bull. The serpent wanted to terrify him by its hissing. The dog followed him and bit his beautiful limbs. The she-ass crossed his way and kicked him to make him return. The great fish remounted the Nile and, darting himself out of the water, threatened to devour him. The he-goat remained immovable, apparently struck with fear. The raven fluttered round his head as if it wanted to tear out his eyes. The pigeon alone accompanied him from curiosity, and applauded him by a sweet murmur.

As soon as the bull spotted the princess, he bolted towards her like a young Arabian horse, ears perked and racing over the plains and rivers of the ancient Saana to reach the beautiful partner who filled his thoughts. The old woman did everything she could to hold the bull back. The serpent tried to scare him with its hissing. The dog chased him and bit his lovely limbs. The she-ass blocked his path and kicked him to force him to turn back. The huge fish leaped out of the Nile, threatening to eat him. The he-goat stood still, seemingly frozen in fear. The raven circled his head, as if trying to peck out his eyes. Only the pigeon followed him out of curiosity, softly cheering him on with a gentle coo.

So extraordinary a sight threw Mambres into serious reflections. In the meanwhile, the white bull, dragging after him his chain and the old woman, had already reached the princess, who was struck with astonishment and fear. He threw himself at her feet. He kissed them. He shed tears. He looked upon her with eyes in which there was a strange mixture of grief and joy. He dared not to low, lest he should terrify the beautiful Amasidia. He could not speak. A weak use of the voice, granted by Heaven to certain animals, was denied him; but all his actions were eloquent. The princess was delighted by him. She perceived that a trifling amusement could suspend for some moments even the most poignant grief.

So incredible a sight put Mambres into deep thought. Meanwhile, the white bull, dragging his chain and the old woman behind him, had already reached the princess, who was filled with shock and fear. He collapsed at her feet. He kissed them. He cried. He looked at her with eyes that showed a strange mix of sadness and happiness. He didn't dare to low, so he wouldn't frighten the beautiful Amasidia. He couldn't speak. The ability to make sounds, given by Heaven to certain animals, was taken from him; but all his actions were expressive. The princess was charmed by him. She realized that even a little distraction could temporarily lift the heaviest sorrow.

"Here," said she, "is a most amiable animal. I could wish much to have him in my stable."

"Here," she said, "is a really friendly animal. I would love to have him in my stable."

At these words he bull bent himself on his knees and kissed the ground.

At these words, he bowed down on his knees and kissed the ground.

"He understands me," cried the princess. "He shows me that he wants to be mine. Ah, heavenly magician! ah, divine eunuch! Give me this consolation. Purchase this beautiful bovine. Settle the price with the old woman, to whom he no doubt belongs. This animal must be mine. Do not refuse me this innocent comfort."

"He understands me," the princess cried. "He shows me that he wants to be mine. Oh, heavenly magician! Oh, divine eunuch! Give me this consolation. Buy this beautiful cow. Settle the price with the old woman, to whom he must belong. This animal has to be mine. Please don't deny me this innocent comfort."

All the ladies joined their requests to the entreaties of the princess. Mambres yielded to them, and immediately went to speak to the old woman.

All the women added their requests to the pleas of the princess. Mambres gave in to them and immediately went to talk to the old woman.

[1] According to Eschenburg, Apis is the name of the ox in which Osiris was supposed to reside, rather than a distinct deity. The ox thus honored was known by certain marks; his body was all black, excepting a square spot of white on his forehead, and a white crescent or sort of half-moon on his right side; on his back was the figure of an eagle; under his tongue a sort of knot resembling a beetle (cantharus), and two sorts of hair upon his tail. This ox was permitted to live twenty-five years. His body was then embalmed, placed in a chest, and buried with many solemnities. A season of mourning then followed, until a new Apis, or ox properly marked, was discovered.—E.

[1] According to Eschenburg, Apis is the name of the bull believed to be the earthly form of Osiris, rather than a separate god. The honored bull had specific markings; his body was entirely black except for a square white patch on his forehead and a white crescent shape on his right side. An eagle symbol was on his back, there was a knot under his tongue that looked like a beetle (cantharus), and two types of hair on his tail. This bull was allowed to live for twenty-five years. After that, his body was embalmed, placed in a coffin, and buried with great ceremony. A period of mourning followed until a new Apis, or appropriately marked bull, was found.—E.


CHAPTER II.

HOW THE WISE MAMBRES, ONCE A MAGICIAN FOR PHARAOH, RECOGNIZED THE OLD WOMAN AND WAS RECOGNIZED BY HER.

"Madam," said Mambres to her, "you know that ladies, and particularly princesses, have need of amusement. The daughter of the king is distractedly fond of your bull. I beg that you will sell him to us. You shall be paid in ready money."

"Ma'am," Mambres said to her, "you know that women, especially princesses, need some entertainment. The king's daughter is absolutely crazy about your bull. I would like to ask you to sell him to us. You will be paid in cash."

"Sir," answered the old woman, "this precious animal does not belong to me. I am charged, together with all the beasts which you see, to keep him with care, to watch all his motions, and to give an exact account of them. God forbid that I should ever have any inclination to sell this invaluable animal."

"Sir," the old woman replied, "this valuable animal isn’t mine. I’m responsible, along with all the other animals you see, for taking good care of him, watching all his movements, and providing a detailed account of them. God forbid I would ever want to sell this priceless creature."

The remarkable witch of Endor. The incredible witch of Endor.—"Is it really you," shouted Mambres, "who is so well-known by the banks of your small Jordan, and the top person in the world for summoning apparitions?"

Mambres, upon this discourse, began to have a confused remembrance of something which he could not yet properly distinguish. He eyed the old woman in the gray cloak with greater attention.

Mambres, after hearing this conversation, started to vaguely recall something that he couldn't quite identify yet. He looked at the old woman in the gray cloak with more focus.

"Respectable lady," said he to her, "I either mistake, or I have seen you formerly."

"Respectable lady," he said to her, "I might be mistaken, but I feel like I've seen you before."

"I make no mistake, sir," replied the old woman. "I have seen you seven hundred years ago, in a journey which I made from Syria into Egypt some months after the destruction of Troy, when Hiram the second reigned at Tyre, and Nephel Keres in ancient Egypt."

"I’m not mistaken, sir," replied the old woman. "I saw you seven hundred years ago on a trip I took from Syria to Egypt a few months after the fall of Troy, when Hiram the second ruled in Tyre and Nephel Keres was in ancient Egypt."

"Ah! madam," cried the old man, "you are the remarkable witch of Endor."

"Ah! ma'am," shouted the old man, "you are the incredible witch of Endor."

"And you, sir," said the sorceress, embracing him, "are the great Mambres of Egypt."

"And you, sir," said the sorceress, giving him a hug, "are the great Mamres of Egypt."

"O, unforeseen meeting! memorable day! eternal decrees!" said Mambres. "It certainly is not without permission of the universal providence that we meet again in this meadow upon the banks of the Nile near the noble city of Tanis. What, is it indeed you," continued Mambres, "who are so famous upon the banks of your little Jordan, and the first person in the world for raising apparitions?"

"O, unexpected meeting! memorable day! eternal plans!" said Mambres. "It’s definitely not without the approval of universal fate that we meet again in this meadow by the Nile near the great city of Tanis. What, is it really you," continued Mambres, "who is so renowned along the banks of your tiny Jordan, and the first person in the world for summoning spirits?"

"What, is it you, sir," replied Miss Endor, "who are so famous for changing rods into serpents, the day into darkness, and rivers into blood?"

"What, is it you, sir," replied Miss Endor, "who are so well-known for turning rods into snakes, making day into night, and turning rivers into blood?"

"Yes, madam, but my great age has in part deprived me of my knowledge and power. I am ignorant from whence you have this beautiful bull, and who these animals are that, together with you, watch round him."

"Yes, ma'am, but my old age has partly taken away my knowledge and strength. I don't know where you got this beautiful bull, or who these animals are that are keeping watch over him with you."

The old woman, recollecting herself, raised her eyes to heaven, and then replied.

The old woman, gathering her thoughts, looked up at the sky and then responded.

"My dear Mambres. We are of the same profession, but it is expressly forbidden me to tell you who this bull is. I can satisfy you with regard to the other animals. You will easily know them by the marks which characterize them. The serpent is that which persuaded Eve to eat an apple, and to make her husband partake of it. The ass, that which spoke to your contemporary, Balaam, in a remarkable discourse. The fish, which always carries its head above water, is that which swallowed Jonah a few years ago. The dog is he who followed Raphael and the young Tobit in their journey to Ragusa in Media, in the time of the great Salamanzar. This goat is he who expiates all the sins of your nation. The raven and the pigeon, those which were in the ark of Noah. Great event! universal catastrophe! of which almost all the world is still ignorant. You are now informed. But of the bull you can know nothing."

"My dear Mambres, we share the same profession, but I’m not allowed to tell you who this bull is. I can give you information about the other animals, though. You’ll easily recognize them by their distinctive marks. The serpent is the one that convinced Eve to eat an apple and get her husband to eat it too. The donkey is the one that spoke to your contemporary, Balaam, in a remarkable conversation. The fish, which always keeps its head above water, is the one that swallowed Jonah a few years back. The dog is the one that followed Raphael and the young Tobit on their trip to Ragusa in Media during the time of the great Salamanzar. This goat is the one that atones for all the sins of your nation. The raven and the dove were among those in Noah's ark. A significant event! A universal catastrophe! that almost the entire world is still unaware of. Now you are informed. But you will not learn anything about the bull."

Mambres, having listened with respect, said:

Mambres, after listening closely, said:

"The Eternal, O illustrious witch! reveals and conceals what he thinks proper. All these animals who, together with you, are entrusted with the custody of the white bull, are only known to your generous and agreeable nation, which is itself unknown to almost all the world. The miracles which you and yours, I and mine, have performed, shall one day be a great subject of doubt and scandal to inquisitive philosophers. But happily these miracles shall find belief with the devout sages, who shall prove submissive to the enlightened in one corner of the world; and this is all that is necessary."

"The Eternal, oh great witch! reveals and hides what he sees fit. All these creatures who, along with you, are responsible for the care of the white bull, are only recognized by your kind and friendly nation, which is largely unknown to the rest of the world. The wonders that you and your people, I and my people, have accomplished will one day become a topic of doubt and controversy among curious philosophers. But fortunately, these wonders will be believed by the faithful sages, who will submit to the enlightened in one part of the world; and that's really all that's needed."

As he spoke these words, the princess pulled him by the sleeve, and said to him,—

As he said this, the princess tugged on his sleeve and said to him,—

"Mambres, will you not buy my bull?"

"Mambres, won't you buy my bull?"

The magician, plunged into a deep reverie, made no reply, and Amasidia poured forth her tears.

The magician, lost in thought, didn't respond, and Amasidia began to cry.

She then addressed herself to the old woman.

She then turned to the old woman.

"My good woman," said she, "I conjure you, by all you hold most dear in the world, by your father, by your mother, by your nurse, who are certainly still alive, to sell me not only your bull, but likewise your pigeon, which seems very much attached to him.

"My good woman," she said, "I beg you, by everything you hold dear in the world, by your father, by your mother, by your nurse, who are definitely still alive, please sell me not just your bull, but also your pigeon, which seems very attached to him."

"As for the other animals, I do not want them; but I shall catch the vapors if you do not sell me this charming bull, who will be all the happiness of my life."

"As for the other animals, I don't want them; but I'll be really upset if you don't sell me this lovely bull, who will bring all the happiness to my life."

The old woman respectfully kissed the fringe of her gauze robe, and replied,—

The old woman gently kissed the edge of her gauze robe and replied,—

"Princess, my bull is not to be sold. Your illustrious magician is acquainted with this. All that I can do for your service is, to permit him to feed every day near your palace. You may caress him, give him biscuits, and make him dance about at your pleasure; but he must always be under the eyes of all these animals who accompany me, and who are charged with the keeping of him. If he does not endeavor to escape from them, they will prove peaceable; but if he attempt once more to break his chain, as he did upon seeing you, woe be unto him. I would not then answer for his life. This large fish, which you see, will certainly swallow him, and keep him longer than three days in his belly; or this serpent, who appears to you so mild, will give him a mortal sting."

"Princess, my bull is not for sale. Your renowned magician knows this. All I can offer is to let him graze near your palace every day. You can pet him, give him treats, and make him dance as you like; but he must always be watched by the animals traveling with me, who are responsible for his care. If he doesn't try to escape from them, they'll stay calm; but if he tries to break free again, like he did when he saw you, woe to him. I can’t guarantee his safety then. This large fish you see will definitely swallow him and keep him in its belly for more than three days; or this serpent, which looks so gentle, will sting him fatally."

The white bull, who understood perfectly the old woman's conversation, but was unable to speak, humbly accepted all the proposals. He laid himself down at her feet; he lowed softly, and, looking tenderly at Amasidia, seemed to say to her,

The white bull, who understood the old woman's conversation perfectly, but couldn’t speak, humbly accepted all her proposals. He lay down at her feet, mooed softly, and looking lovingly at Amasidia, seemed to say to her,

"Come and see me sometimes upon the lawn."

"Come and hang out with me on the lawn sometimes."

The serpent now took up the conversation:

The snake now joined the conversation:

"Princess," said he, "I advise you to act implicitly, as mademoiselle of Endor has told you."

"Princess," he said, "I suggest you follow her advice exactly as mademoiselle of Endor instructed you."

The she-ass likewise put in her word, and was of the opinion of the serpent.

The she-ass also shared her opinion and agreed with the serpent.

Amasidia was afflicted that this serpent and this ass should speak so well; while a beautiful bull, who had such noble and tender sentiments, was unable to express them.

Amasidia was troubled that this serpent and this donkey could speak so eloquently, while a beautiful bull, who had such noble and tender feelings, couldn't express them.

"Alas," said she, in a low voice, "nothing is more common at court. One sees there every day fine lords who cannot converse, and contemptible wretches who speak with assurance."

"Unfortunately," she said softly, "nothing is more common at court. Every day, you see refined lords who can't hold a conversation, and despicable people who speak with confidence."

"This serpent," said Mambres, "is not a contemptible wretch. He is perhaps the personage of the greatest importance."

"This serpent," said Mambres, "is not some worthless creature. He is possibly the most important character."

The day now declined, and the princess was obliged to return home, after having promised to come back next day at the same hour. Her ladies of the palace were astonished, and understood nothing of what they had seen or heard. Mambres made reflections. The princess recollecting that the serpent called the old woman Miss, concluded at random that she was still unmarried, and felt some affliction that such was also her own condition. Respectable affliction! which she concealed, however, with as much care as the name of her lover.

The day began to fade, and the princess had to head home after promising to return the next day at the same time. Her court ladies were perplexed and didn't understand anything of what they had seen or heard. Mambres was deep in thought. The princess remembered that the serpent referred to the old woman as "Miss" and randomly concluded that she was still single, which made her feel a bit sad since she was in the same situation. A respectable sadness! However, she hid it just as carefully as she did the name of her lover.


CHAPTER III.

HOW THE BEAUTIFUL AMASIDIA HAD A SECRET CONVERSATION WITH A BEAUTIFUL SERPENT.

The beautiful princess recommended secrecy to her ladies with regard to what they had seen. They all promised it, and kept their promise for a whole day.

The beautiful princess advised her ladies to keep what they had seen a secret. They all agreed and kept their word for an entire day.

We may believe that Amasidia slept little that night. An inexplicable charm continually recalled the idea of her beautiful bull. As soon, therefore, as she was at freedom with her wise Mambres, she said to him:

We might think that Amasidia didn't sleep much that night. An unexplainable allure kept bringing to mind her handsome bull. So, as soon as she had a moment alone with her wise Mambres, she said to him:

"O, sage! this animal turns my head."

"O, wise one! this creature is making me lose my mind."

"He employs mine very much," said Mambres. "I see plainly that this bovine is very much superior to those of his species. I see that there is a great mystery, and I suspect a fatal event. Your father Amasis is suspicious and violent; and this affair requires that you conduct yourself with the greatest precaution."

"He uses my talents a lot," said Mambres. "I can clearly see that this creature is far superior to others of its kind. There's a big mystery here, and I sense something dangerous is going to happen. Your father Amasis is paranoid and aggressive; you need to handle this situation with extreme caution."

"Ah!" said the princess, "I have too much curiosity to be prudent. It is the only sentiment which can unite in my heart with that which preys upon me on account of the lover I have lost. Can I not know who this white bull is that gives me such strange disquiet?"

"Ah!" said the princess, "I'm too curious to be careful. It’s the only feeling that can connect in my heart with the sorrow I feel for the lover I've lost. Can't I find out who this white bull is that troubles me so?"

Mambres replied,—

Mambres replied—

"I have already confessed to you, frankly, that my knowledge declines in proportion as my age advances; but I mistake much if the serpent is not informed of what you are so very desirous of knowing. He does not want sense. He expresses himself with propriety. He has been long accustomed to interfere in the affairs of the ladies."

"I’ve already honestly told you that my knowledge seems to fade as I get older; but I could be wrong if I think the snake doesn’t know what you’re so eager to find out. He’s not lacking in intelligence. He speaks appropriately. He’s been involved in the ladies’ business for a long time."

"Ah! undoubtedly," said Amasidia, "this is the beautiful serpent of Egypt, who, by fixing his tail into his mouth, becomes the emblem of eternity; who enlightens the world when he opens his eyes, and darkens it when he shuts them?"

"Ah! definitely," said Amasidia, "this is the beautiful serpent of Egypt, who, by curling his tail into his mouth, becomes the symbol of eternity; who lights up the world when he opens his eyes, and dims it when he closes them?"

"No, Miss."

"No, ma'am."

"It is then the serpent of Æsculapius?"

"It is then the serpent of Aesculapius?"

"Still less."

"Even less."

"It is perhaps Jupiter under the figure of a serpent?"

"It might be Jupiter in the form of a serpent?"

"Not at all."

"Not really."

"Ah, now I see, I see. It is the rod which you formerly changed into a serpent?"

"Ah, now I get it, I get it. It's the staff that you turned into a snake before?"

"No, indeed, it is not; but all these serpents are of the same family. This one has a very high character in his own country. He passes there for the most extraordinary serpent that was ever seen. Address yourself to him. However, I warn you it is a dangerous undertaking. Were I in your place, I would hardly trouble myself either with the bull, the she-ass, the he-goat, the serpent, the fish, the raven, or the pigeon. But passion hurries you on; and all I can do is to pity you, and tremble."

"No, it's definitely not; but all these snakes are from the same family. This one has a really great reputation in his home country. People there think he's the most extraordinary snake ever seen. You should talk to him. However, I warn you, it’s a risky move. If I were you, I wouldn’t bother with the bull, the she-ass, the he-goat, the snake, the fish, the raven, or the pigeon. But passion is pushing you forward; all I can do is feel sorry for you and be apprehensive."

The princess conjured him to procure her a tête-à-tête with the serpent. Mambres, who was obliging, consented, and making profound reflections, he went and communicated to the witch in so insinuating a manner the whim of the princess, that the old woman told him Amasidia might lay her commands upon her; that the serpent was perfectly well bred, and so polite to the ladies, that he wished for nothing more than to oblige them, and would not fail to keep the princess's appointment.

The princess asked him to arrange a private meeting with the serpent. Mambres, who was helpful, agreed, and after thinking deeply, he approached the witch in such a charming way about the princess's request that the old woman told him Amasidia could give her orders. She said the serpent was well-mannered and so polite to women that he would do nothing more than to please them, and he would definitely keep the princess's appointment.

The ancient magician returned to inform the princess of this good news; but he still dreaded some misfortune, and made reflections.

The old magician came back to tell the princess about this great news; however, he still feared something bad might happen and contemplated.

"You desire to speak with the serpent, mademoiselle. This you may accomplish whenever your highness thinks proper. But remember you must flatter him; for every animal has a great deal of self-love, and the serpent in particular. It is said he was formerly driven out of heaven for excessive pride."

"You want to talk to the serpent, miss. You can do that whenever you think it’s right. But remember, you need to flatter him; every creature has a lot of self-esteem, especially the serpent. It’s said he was kicked out of heaven for being too proud."

"I have never heard of it," replied the princess.

"I've never heard of it," replied the princess.

"I believe it," said the old man.

"I believe it," said the old man.

He then informed her of all the reports which had been spread about this famous serpent.

He then told her about all the rumors that had been circulating about this famous serpent.

"But, my dear princess, whatever singular adventures may have happened to him, you never can extort these secrets from him but by flattery. Having formerly deceived women, it is equitable that a woman in her turn should deceive him."

"But, my dear princess, no matter what unique adventures he may have experienced, you can only get those secrets out of him through flattery. Since he has previously fooled women, it’s only fair that a woman should trick him in return."

"I will do my utmost," said the princess; and departed with her maids of honor. The old woman was feeding the bull at a considerable distance.

"I'll do my best," said the princess, and walked away with her maids of honor. The old woman was feeding the bull far away.

Mambres left Amasidia to herself, and went and discoursed with the witch. One lady of honor chatted with the she-ass, the others amused themselves with the goat, the dog, the raven, and the pigeon. As for the large fish that frightened every body, he plunged himself into the Nile by order of the old woman.

Mambres left Amasidia alone and went to talk to the witch. One noblewoman chatted with the she-ass, while the others entertained themselves with the goat, the dog, the raven, and the pigeon. As for the big fish that scared everyone, it jumped into the Nile on the old woman's command.

The serpent then attended the beautiful Amasidia into the grove, where they had the following conversation.

The serpent then escorted the beautiful Amasidia into the grove, where they had the following conversation.

SERPENT.—You cannot imagine, mademoiselle, how much I am flattered with the honor which your highness deigns to confer upon me.

SNAKE.—You can’t imagine, miss, how honored I am by the privilege your highness has chosen to give me.

PRINCESS.—Your great reputation, sir, the beauty of your countenance, and the brilliancy of your eyes, have emboldened me to seek for this conversation. I know by public report (if it be not false) that you were formerly a very great lord in the empyrean heaven.

PRINCESS.—Your impressive reputation, sir, the beauty of your face, and the shine of your eyes have encouraged me to have this conversation. I’ve heard from others (if it’s true) that you were once a very powerful lord in the celestial realm.

SERPENT.—It is true, miss, I had there a very distinguished place. It is pretended I am a disgraced favorite. This is a report which once went abroad in India. The Brahmins were the first who gave a history of my adventures. And I doubt not but one day or other the poets of the north will make them the subject of an extravagant epic poem;[1] for in truth it is all that can be made of them. Yet I am not so much fallen, but that I have left in this globe a very extensive dominion. I might venture to assert that the whole earth belongs to me.

SNAKE.—It's true, miss, I had a very prominent position there. People say I'm a disgraced favorite. This rumor first spread in India. The Brahmins were the ones who started telling the story of my adventures. And I wouldn't be surprised if one day the poets from the north turn it into a grand epic poem; [1] because honestly, that's all that can be made of them. Still, I haven't fallen so far that I don't have a vast realm left in this world. I could even claim that the whole earth belongs to me.

PRINCESS.—I believe it; for they tell me that your powers of persuasion are irresistible, and to please is to reign.

PRINCESS.—I believe it; I've heard that your charm is unbeatable, and that to make someone happy is to be in control.

SERPENT.—I feel, mademoiselle, while I behold and listen to you, that you have over me the same power which you ascribe to me over so many others.

SNAKE.—I feel, miss, while I watch and listen to you, that you have the same influence over me that you say I have over so many others.

PRINCESS.—You are, I believe, an amiable conqueror. It is said that your conquests among the fair sex have been numerous, and that you began with our common mother, whose name I have unfortunately forgotten.

PRINCESS.—I believe you're a charming conqueror. It's said that you've had many victories with women, starting with our common mother, whose name I've unfortunately forgotten.

SERPENT.—They do me injustice. She honored me with her confidence, and I gave her the best advice. I desired that she and her husband should eat heartily of the fruit of the tree of knowledge. I imagined in doing this that I should please the ruler of all things. It seemed to me that a tree so necessary to the human race was not planted to be entirely useless. Would the supreme being have wished to have been served by fools and idiots? Is not the mind formed for the acquisition of knowledge and for improvement? Is not the knowledge of good and evil necessary for doing the one and avoiding the other? I certainly merited their thanks.

SNAKE.—They are misjudging me. She trusted me, and I gave her the best advice I could. I wanted her and her husband to fully enjoy the fruit of the tree of knowledge. I thought that by doing this, I would please the ultimate power. It seemed to me that a tree so essential to humanity wasn’t meant to be completely off-limits. Would the supreme being really want to be served by fools and idiots? Isn’t the mind designed for gaining knowledge and for making progress? Isn’t understanding good and evil essential for choosing the right path and avoiding the wrong one? I definitely deserved their gratitude.

PRINCESS.—Yet, they tell me that you have suffered for it. Probably it is since this period that so many ministers have been punished for giving good advice, and so many real philosophers and men of genius persecuted for their writings that were useful to mankind.

PRINCESS.—Still, I've heard that you've paid the price for it. It's likely since this time that so many leaders have been penalized for offering sound advice, and so many true philosophers and brilliant thinkers have faced persecution for their writings that benefited society.

SERPENT.—It is my enemies who have told you these stories. They say that I am out of favor at court. But a proof that my influence there has not declined, is their own confession that I entered into the council when it was in agitation to try the good man Job; and I was again called upon when the resolution was taken to deceive a certain petty king called Ahab. I alone was charged with this honorable commission.

SNAKE.—It's my enemies who have spread these tales. They claim I'm no longer favored at court. But the fact that my influence hasn't waned is evident in their own admission that I was part of the council when they decided to test the good man Job; and I was called upon again when they resolved to deceive a minor king named Ahab. I was solely entrusted with this honorable task.

PRINCESS.—Ah, sir! I do not believe that you are formed to deceive. But since you are always in the ministry, may I beg a favor of you? I hope so amiable a lord will not deny me.

PRINCESS.—Oh, sir! I really can’t believe that you’re the type to deceive. But since you’re always in a position of authority, could I ask you for a favor? I hope such a kind lord won’t refuse me.

SERPENT.—Mademoiselle, your requests are laws; name your commands.

SNAKE.—Miss, your wishes are commands; tell me what you'd like.

PRINCESS.—I intreat that you will tell me who this white bull is, for whom I feel such extraordinary sentiments, which both affect and alarm me. I am told that you would deign to inform me.

PRINCESS.—Please, can you tell me who this white bull is? I have such intense feelings for him that they both move and worry me. I've been told that you would kindly share this information with me.

SERPENT.—Curiosity is necessary to human nature, and especially to your amiable sex. Without it they would live in the most shameful ignorance. I have always satisfied, as far as lay in my power, the curiosity of the ladies. I am accused indeed of using this complaisance only to vex the ruler of the world. I swear to you, that I could propose nothing more agreeable to myself than to obey you; but the old woman must have informed you that the revealing of this secret will be attended with some danger to you.

SNAKE.—Curiosity is a fundamental part of human nature, especially for your lovely gender. Without it, they would live in utter ignorance. I've always tried my best to satisfy the curiosity of ladies. I'm often accused of doing this just to annoy the ruler of the world. I assure you, there’s nothing I’d like more than to obey you; however, the old woman must have told you that revealing this secret could put you in some danger.

PRINCESS.—Ah! it is that which makes me still more curious.

PRINCESS.—Ah! that's what makes me even more curious.

SERPENT.—In this I discover the sex to whom I have formerly done service.

SNAKE.—In this, I recognize the person I used to serve.

PRINCESS.—If you possess any feeling; if rational beings should mutually assist each other; if you have compassion for an unfortunate creature, do not refuse my request.

PRINCESS.—If you have any empathy; if rational beings should support one another; if you feel sympathy for someone in a tough situation, please do not deny my request.

SERPENT.—You affect me. I must satisfy you; but do not interrupt me.

SNAKE.—You have an impact on me. I need to please you; but please don’t interrupt me.

PRINCESS.—I promise you I will not.

PRINCESS.—I promise I won't.

SERPENT.—-There was a young king, beautiful, charming, in love, beloved—

SNAKE.—-There was a young king, handsome, charming, in love, adored—

PRINCESS.—A young king! beautiful, charming, in love, beloved! And by whom? And who was this king? How old was he? What has become of him? Where is his kingdom? What is his name?

PRINCESS.—A young king! Attractive, charming, in love, and loved! But by whom? Who is this king? How old is he? What happened to him? Where is his kingdom? What’s his name?

SERPENT.—See, I have scarce begun, and you have already interrupted me. Take care. If you have not more command over yourself, you are undone.

SNAKE.—Look, I’ve barely started, and you’ve already interrupted me. Be careful. If you can't control yourself better, you’re in big trouble.

PRINCESS.—Ah, pardon me, sir. I will not repeat my indiscretion. Go on, I beseech you.

PRINCESS.—Oh, excuse me, sir. I won’t make that mistake again. Please, continue.

SERPENT.—This great king, the most valiant of men, victorious wherever he carried his arms, often dreamed when asleep, and forgot his dreams when awake. He wanted his magicians to remember and inform him what he had dreamed, otherwise he declared he would hang them; for that nothing was more equitable. It is now near seven years since he dreamed a fine dream, which he entirely forgot when he awoke; and a young Jew, full of experience, having revealed it to him, this amiable king was immediately changed into an ox for—

SNAKE.—This great king, the bravest of men, undefeated wherever he fought, often had dreams while sleeping and completely forgot them upon waking. He demanded that his magicians recall and tell him what he had dreamed; otherwise, he declared he would hang them, insisting it was only fair. Nearly seven years ago, he had an amazing dream, which he totally forgot as soon as he awoke; and a young Jew, experienced in such matters, revealed it to him, leading to this kind king being immediately turned into an ox for—

PRINCESS.—Ah! it is my dear Neb——

PRINCESS.—Ah! it’s my dear Neb—

She could not finish, she fainted away. Mambres, who listened at a distance, saw her fall, and believed her dead.

She couldn't finish; she collapsed. Mambres, who was listening from afar, saw her fall and thought she was dead.

[1] A prophetic reference by the serpent to Milton's Paradise Lost.—E.

[1] A prophetic reference by the serpent to Milton's Paradise Lost.—E.

Serpent

Nebuchadnezzar.—Nebuchadnezzar, transformed into a white bull, is recognized by Amasidia. Nebuchadnezzar.—Amasidia recognizes Nebuchadnezzar, who has been turned into a white bull.

CHAPTER IV.

HOW THEY PLANNED TO SACRIFICE THE BULL AND EXORCISE THE PRINCESS.

Mambres runs to her weeping. The serpent is affected. He, alas, cannot weep; but he hisses in a mournful tone. He cries out, "She is dead." The ass repeats, "She is dead." The raven tells it over again. All the other animals appeared afflicted, except the fish of Jonah, which has always been merciless. The lady of honor, the ladies of the court, arrive and tear their hair. The white bull, who fed at a distance and heard their cries, ran to the grove dragging the old woman after him, while his loud bellowings made the neighboring echoes resound. To no purpose did the ladies pour upon the expiring Amasidia their bottles of rose-water, of pink, of myrtle, of benzoin, of balm of Gilead, of amomum, of gilly-flower, of nutmeg, of ambergris. She had not as yet given the smallest signs of life. But as soon as she perceived that the beautiful white bull was beside her, she came to herself, more blooming, more beautiful and lively than ever. A thousand times did she kiss this charming animal, who languishingly leaned his head on her snowy bosom. She called him, "My master, my king, my dear, my life!" She throws her fair arms around his neck, which was whiter than the snow. The light straw does not adhere more closely to the amber, the vine to the elm, nor the ivy to the oak. The sweet murmur of her sighs was heard. Her eyes were seen, now sparkling with a tender flame, and now obscured by those precious tears which love makes us shed.

Mambres runs to her, crying. The serpent is affected. He can't weep, but he hisses sadly. He shouts, "She is dead." The donkey echoes, "She is dead." The raven repeats it again. All the other animals look upset, except for Jonah's fish, which has always been ruthless. The lady of honor and the court ladies arrive and tear their hair out. The white bull, who was grazing nearby and heard their cries, rushed to the grove, dragging the old woman with him, his loud bellowing causing the surrounding area to echo. The ladies poured their bottles of rose water, pink, myrtle, benzoin, balm of Gilead, amomum, gilly-flower, nutmeg, and ambergris on the dying Amasidia, but she showed no signs of life. However, as soon as she noticed the beautiful white bull next to her, she revived, looking more radiant, beautiful, and lively than ever. She kissed this charming animal a thousand times as he gently rested his head on her white bosom. She called him, "My master, my king, my dear, my life!" She wrapped her lovely arms around his neck, which was whiter than snow. The light straw clings more closely to the amber, the vine to the elm, or the ivy to the oak. The sweet sound of her sighs was heard. Her eyes sparkled with a tender flame, then were clouded with the precious tears that love makes us shed.

We may easily judge into what astonishment the lady of honor and ladies of her train were thrown. As soon as they entered the palace, they related to their lovers this extraordinary adventure, and every one with different circumstances, which increased its singularity, and which always contributes to the variety of all histories.

We can easily imagine how shocked the lady of honor and her attendants were. As soon as they arrived at the palace, they shared this incredible experience with their lovers, each one adding their own details, which made the story even more unique and added to the variety of all tales.

No sooner was Amasis, king of Tanis, informed of these events, than his royal breast was inflamed with just indignation. Such was the wrath of Minos, when he understood that his daughter Pasiphæ lavished her tender favors upon the father of the Minotaur. Thus raged Juno, when she beheld Jupiter caressing the beautiful cow Io, daughter of the river Inachus. Following the dictates of passion, the stern Amasis imprisoned his unhappy daughter, the beautiful Amasidia, in her chamber and placed over her a guard of black eunuchs. He then assembled his privy council.

No sooner did Amasis, king of Tanis, learn about these events than he was filled with just anger. This was similar to the rage of Minos when he found out that his daughter Pasiphæ was giving her affections to the father of the Minotaur. Juno reacted the same way when she saw Jupiter with the beautiful cow Io, the daughter of the river Inachus. Following his emotions, the strict Amasis locked up his unhappy daughter, the lovely Amasidia, in her room and set a guard of black eunuchs over her. He then gathered his privy council.

The grand magician presided there, but had no longer the same influence as formerly. All the ministers of state concluded that this white bull was a sorcerer. It was quite the contrary. He was bewitched. But in delicate affairs they are always mistaken at court.

The great magician was in charge there, but he no longer held the same power as before. All the government ministers agreed that this white bull was a sorcerer. In reality, it was the other way around. He was under a spell. But in sensitive matters, they're always wrong at court.

It was carried by a great majority that the princess should be exorcised, and the old woman and the bull sacrificed.

It was decided by a large majority that the princess should be exorcised, and the old woman and the bull should be sacrificed.

The wise Mambres contradicted not the opinion of the king and council. The right of exorcising belonged to him. He could delay it under some plausible pretence. The god Apis had lately died at Memphis. A god ox dies just like another ox. And it was not allowed to exorcise any person in Egypt until a new ox was found to replace the deceased.

The wise Mambres did not oppose the views of the king and council. The authority to perform exorcisms was his. He could postpone it under some reasonable excuse. The god Apis had recently died in Memphis. A god's ox dies just like any other ox. And it was not permitted to exorcise anyone in Egypt until a new ox was found to take the place of the one that had died.

It was decreed in the council to wait until the nomination should be made of a new god at Memphis.

It was decided in the council to wait until a new god was nominated in Memphis.

The good old man, Mambres, perceived to what danger his dear princess was exposed. He knew who her lover was. The syllables NEBU——, which had escaped her, laid open the whole mystery to the eyes of this sage.

The good old man, Mambres, recognized the danger his beloved princess was in. He knew who her lover was. The syllables NEBU——, which had slipped from her, revealed the entire mystery to this wise man.

The dynasty of Memphis belonged at that time to the Babylonians. They preserved this remainder of the conquests they had gained under the greatest king of the world, to whom Amasis was a mortal enemy. Mambres had occasion for all his wisdom to conduct himself properly in the midst of so many difficulties. If the king Amasis should discover the lover of his daughter, her death would be inevitable. He had sworn it. The great, the young, the beautiful king of whom she was enamored, had dethroned the king her father, and Amasis had only recovered his kingdom about seven years. From that time it was not known what had become of the adorable monarch—the conqueror and idol of the nations—the tender and generous lover of the charming Amasidia. Sacrificing the white bull would eventually occasion the death of the beautiful princess.

The dynasty of Memphis was at that time under Babylonian rule. They held onto the remnants of their conquests led by the greatest king in the world, who was a mortal enemy of Amasis. Mambres needed all his wisdom to navigate through so many challenges. If King Amasis were to find out about his daughter's lover, her death would be certain. He had sworn it. The great, young, and handsome king she was infatuated with had overthrown her father, and Amasis had only reclaimed his throne about seven years ago. Since then, no one knew what had happened to the beloved monarch—the conqueror adored by nations—the caring and generous lover of the lovely Amasidia. Sacrificing the white bull would ultimately lead to the death of the beautiful princess.

Lot and his wayward daughters leaving Sodom.—From a celebrated picture in S. Marks, Florence, by Domenico Cresti, named il Passigiano. Lot and his rebellious daughters leaving Sodom.—From a famous painting in S. Marks, Florence, by Domenico Cresti, known as il Passigiano.

DESTRUCTION OF SODOM AND GOMORRAH.
A UNUSUAL TRANSFORMATION.

In the preceding engraving the artist has pictured the "Cities of the Plain" in flames, ignited by a shower of "fire and brimstone out of heaven." Warned by an angel, Lot and his family are fleeing from the conflagration. The madame has, however, unfortunately changed her mind, and is seen returning toward the doomed locality. She dearly loves her home, and braves danger—even death—in its protection. Her husband and her children heartlessly forsake her. Lot does not look like the coward he is represented to have been, who basely offered to surrender his daughters to the horrible abuse of a Sodomite mob; and the daughters—innocent and beautiful—seem incapable of the depravity with which they are charged in the nineteenth chapter of Genesis.

In the previous illustration, the artist depicts the "Cities of the Plain" engulfed in flames, ignited by a downpour of "fire and brimstone from heaven." Alerted by an angel, Lot and his family are fleeing from the disaster. However, his wife has regrettably changed her mind and is seen moving back toward the doomed area. She deeply loves her home and is willing to risk danger—even death—to protect it. Lot and their children leave her behind without a moment’s hesitation. Lot doesn’t seem to be the coward he is often portrayed as, who shamefully offered his daughters to the horrific abuse of a mob from Sodom; and the daughters—innocent and beautiful—appear incapable of the immoral actions attributed to them in the nineteenth chapter of Genesis.

The comical statement that Madame Lot was transformed into "a pillar of salt" for merely looking back toward her old home in Sodom, rests on bible authority, and is believed by all the world excepting intelligent clergymen, scientists, philosophers and reasonable people.

The amusing idea that Madame Lot turned into "a pillar of salt" just for looking back at her old home in Sodom comes from the Bible, and most people accept it—except for intelligent clergymen, scientists, philosophers, and rational thinkers.

The assertion of Mambres, (page 15), that this estimable "pillar" has become "very sharp tasted," rests on the authority of certain eastern travelers who claim to have examined and tasted the saline remains of this unfortunate female. But as this last claim is based on a French romance and not on Hebrew revelation, readers may be pardoned for receiving it with the greatest caution. Indeed, all that is absolutely necessary for even the orthodox to believe is that, "once upon a time," a Sodomite matron was chemically changed into pure chloride of sodium, and not that said sodium still retains its sharp and acrid flavor.—E.

The assertion by Mambres (page 15) that this well-known "pillar" has become "very sharp tasting" is based on reports from certain eastern travelers who claim to have examined and tasted the salty remnants of this unfortunate woman. However, since this claim is rooted in a French fictional story rather than Hebrew scripture, readers can be justified in being skeptical. In fact, all that even the most devout believers need to accept is that, "once upon a time," a woman from Sodom was chemically transformed into pure sodium chloride, and not that this sodium still has its sharp and bitter taste.—E.


What could Mambres do in such critical circumstances? He went, after the council had broken up, to find his dear foster daughter.

What could Mambres do in such critical circumstances? After the council had ended, he went to look for his beloved foster daughter.

"My dear child," he says, "I will serve you; but I repeat it, they will behead you if ever you pronounce the name of your lover."

"My dear child," he says, "I will help you; but I want to make it clear, they will execute you if you ever say the name of your lover."

"Ah! what signifies my neck," replied the beautiful Amasidia, "if I cannot embrace that of Nebu—? My father is a cruel man. He not only refuses to give me a charming prince whom I adore, but he declares war against him; and after he was conquered by my lover, he has found the secret of changing him into an ox. Did one ever see more frightful malice? If my father were not my father, I do not know what I should do to him."

"Ah! what does my neck matter," replied the beautiful Amasidia, "if I can't embrace Nebu's? My father is a harsh man. Not only does he refuse to let me be with the charming prince I adore, but he also declares war on him; and after my lover defeated him, he found a way to turn him into an ox. Has anyone ever seen such terrible cruelty? If my father weren’t my father, I don’t know what I would do to him."

"It was not your father who played him this cruel trick," said the wise Mambres. "It was a native of Palestine, one of our ancient enemies, an inhabitant of a little country comprehended in that crowd of kingdoms which your lover subdued in order to polish and refine them.

"It wasn't your father who pulled this cruel trick on him," said the wise Membres. "It was a person from Palestine, one of our old enemies, a resident of a small country included in that group of kingdoms your lover conquered to improve and refine them."

"Such metamorphoses must not surprise you. You know that formerly I performed more extraordinary. Nothing was at that time more common than those changes which at present astonish philosophers. True history, which we have read together, informs us that Lycaon, king of Arcadia, was changed into a wolf; the beautiful Calista, his daughter, into a bear; Io, the daughter of Inachus, our venerable Isis, into a cow; Daphne into a laurel; Sirinx into a flute; the fair Edith, wife of Lot—the best and most affectionate husband and father ever known in the world—has she not become, in our neighborhood, a pillar of salt, very sharp tasted, which has preserved both her likeness and form, as the great men attest who have seen it? I was witness to this change in my youth. I saw seven powerful cities in the most dry and parched situation in the world, all at once transformed into a beautiful lake. In the early part of my life, the whole world was full of metamorphoses.

"These transformations shouldn’t surprise you. You know I used to experience even more remarkable ones. Changes that seem astonishing to philosophers today were quite common back then. True history, which we’ve read together, tells us that Lycaon, king of Arcadia, was turned into a wolf; his beautiful daughter Calista became a bear; Io, daughter of Inachus, our revered Isis, transformed into a cow; Daphne turned into a laurel tree; Syrinx became a flute; the lovely Edith, Lot's wife—the best and most caring husband and father ever known—has she not turned into a pillar of salt in our area, very sharp in taste, preserving both her likeness and form, as the great men who have seen it attest? I witnessed this transformation in my youth. I saw seven powerful cities in the driest, most parched location in the world suddenly turned into a beautiful lake. In my early years, the whole world was full of transformations."

"In fine, madam, if examples can soothe your grief, remember that Venus changed Cerastes into an ox."

"In conclusion, ma'am, if examples can ease your sorrow, remember that Venus turned Cerastes into an ox."

"I do not know," said the princess, "that examples comfort us. If my lover were dead, could I comfort myself by the idea that all men die?"

"I don’t know," said the princess, "if examples actually bring us comfort. If my lover were dead, could I really find solace in the thought that everyone dies?"

"Your pain may at least be alleviated," replied the sage; "and since your lover has become an ox, it is possible from an ox he may become a man. As for me, I should deserve to be changed into a tiger or a crocodile, if I did not employ the little power I have in the service of a princess worthy of the adoration of the world,—if I did not labor for the beautiful Amasidia, whom I have nursed upon my knees, and whom fatal destiny exposes to such rude trials."

"Your pain might at least be eased," replied the wise one; "and since your lover has turned into an ox, it's possible he could become a man again. As for me, I would deserve to be transformed into a tiger or a crocodile if I didn’t use the little power I have to serve a princess worthy of everyone’s admiration—if I didn’t work for the beautiful Amasidia, whom I’ve cared for, and who is unfortunately facing such harsh challenges."


CHAPTER V.

HOW THE WISE MAMBRES BEHAVED WISELY.

The sage Mambres having said every thing he could to comfort the princess, but without succeeding in so doing, ran to the old woman.

The wise Mambres tried everything he could to comfort the princess, but when that didn’t work, he ran to the old woman.

"My companion," said he to her, "ours is a charming profession, but a very dangerous one. You run the risk of being hanged, and your ox of being burned, drowned or devoured, I don't know what they will do with your other animals; for, prophet as I am, I know very little; but do you carefully conceal the serpent, and the fish. Let not the one show his head above water, nor the other venture out of his hole. I will place the ox in one of my stables in the country. You shall be there with him, since you say that you are not allowed to abandon him. The good scape-goat may upon this occasion serve as an expiation. We will send him into the desert loaded with the sins of all the rest. He is accustomed to this ceremony, which does him no harm; and every one knows that sin is expiated by means of a he-goat, who walks about for his own amusement. I only beg of you to lend me immediately Tobit's dog, who is a very swift greyhound; Balaam's ass, who runs better than a dromedary; the raven and the pigeon of the ark, who fly with amazing swiftness. I want to send them on an embassy to Memphis. It is an affair of great consequence."

"My friend," he said to her, "our job is charming, but also very dangerous. You risk being hanged, and your ox could be burned, drowned, or eaten; I'm not sure what they'll do with your other animals. As a prophet, I may not know much, but make sure to keep the serpent and the fish hidden. Don't let the serpent stick its head above water, and don't let the fish come out of its hole. I'll put the ox in one of my stables in the countryside. You can stay with him since you say you can't leave him. The good scapegoat can serve as a way to make up for things this time. We'll send him into the desert carrying the sins of everyone else. He's used to this and it doesn’t hurt him; everyone knows that sin is atoned for with a he-goat that wanders around for its own amusement. All I ask is that you lend me Tobit's dog right away, who is a very fast greyhound; Balaam's donkey, who runs better than a camel; and the raven and pigeon from the ark, who fly incredibly fast. I need to send them on an important mission to Memphis."

The old woman replied to the magician:

The old woman responded to the magician:

"You may dispose as you please of Tobit's dog,[1] of Balaam's ass, of the raven and the pigeon of the ark, and of the scape-goat; but my ox cannot enter into a stable. It is said, Daniel, v:21,—That he must be always made fast to an iron chain, be always wet with the dew of heaven, and eat the grass of the field, and his portion be with the wild beasts.

"You can do whatever you want with Tobit's dog,[1] Balaam's donkey, the raven and the pigeon from the ark, and the scapegoat; but my ox cannot be put in a stable. It's said in Daniel 4:21 that he must always be tied to an iron chain, be constantly wet with the dew from heaven, eat grass from the field, and share his space with wild animals."

"He is entrusted to me, and I must obey. What would Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah, think of me, if I trusted my ox to any other than to myself? I see you know the secret of this extraordinary animal, but I have not to reproach myself with having revealed it to you. I am going to conduct him far from this polluted land, toward the lake Sirbon, where he will be sheltered from the cruelties of the king of Tanis. My fish and my serpent will defend me. I fear nobody when I serve my master."

"He’s under my care, and I have to follow the rules. What would Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah think of me if I trusted my ox to anyone other than myself? I see you know the secret of this remarkable animal, but I can’t blame myself for sharing it with you. I'm going to take him far away from this corrupt land, towards Lake Sirbon, where he will be safe from the king of Tanis's cruelty. My fish and my serpent will protect me. I’m not afraid of anyone when I’m serving my master."

"My good woman," answered the wise Mambres, "let the will of God be done! Provided I can find your white bull again, the lake Sirbon, the lake Maris, or the lake of Sodom, are to me perfectly indifferent. I want to do nothing but good to him and to you. But why have you spoken to me of Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah?"

"My good woman," replied the wise Mambres, "let God's will be done! As long as I can find your white bull again, I don't care about Lake Sirbon, Lake Maris, or the Lake of Sodom. I only want to do good for him and for you. But why did you mention Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah to me?"

"Ah! sir," answered the old woman, "you know as well as I what concern they have in this important affair. But I have no time to lose. I don't desire to be hanged. I want not that my bull should be burned, drowned, or devoured. I go to the lake Sirbon by Canopus, with my serpent and my fish. Adieu."

"Ah! Sir," replied the old woman, "you know just as well as I do how invested they are in this important matter. But I have no time to waste. I don't want to be hanged. I don't want my bull to be burned, drowned, or eaten. I'm going to Lake Sirbon by Canopus, with my snake and my fish. Goodbye."

The bull followed her pensively, after having testified his gratitude to the beneficent Mambres.

The bull followed her thoughtfully, after showing his gratitude to the kind Mambres.

The wise Mambres was greatly troubled. He saw that Amasis, king of Tanis, distracted by the strange passion of his daughter for this animal, and believing her bewitched, would pursue everywhere the unfortunate bull, who would infallibly be burned as a sorcerer in the public place of Tanis, or given to the fish of Jonah, or be roasted and served up for food. Mambres wanted at all events to save the princess from this cruel disaster.

The wise Mambres was very troubled. He saw that Amasis, the king of Tanis, was so distracted by his daughter's unusual obsession with this bull that he believed she was under a spell. Amasis was determined to chase the poor bull everywhere, who would undoubtedly be burned as a sorcerer in the public square of Tanis, or thrown to Jonah's fish, or roasted and served as food. Mambres wanted to save the princess from this terrible fate.

He wrote a letter in sacred characters, to his friend, the high priest of Memphis, upon the paper of Egypt, which was not yet in use. Here are the identical words of this letter:

He wrote a letter in sacred symbols to his friend, the high priest of Memphis, on Egyptian paper, which was not yet in use. Here are the exact words of this letter:

"Light of the world, lieutenant of Isis, Osiris, and Horus, chief of the circumcised, you whose altar is justly raised above all thrones! I am informed that your god, the ox Apis, is dead. I have one at your service. Come quickly with your priests to acknowledge, to worship him, and to conduct him into the stable of your temple. May Isis, Osiris, and Horus, keep you in their holy and worthy protection, and likewise the priests of Memphis in their holy care.

"Light of the world, servant of Isis, Osiris, and Horus, leader of the circumcised, you whose altar is rightfully raised above all thrones! I've heard that your god, the bull Apis, has passed away. I have another one ready for you. Come quickly with your priests to honor, worship him, and take him to the stable of your temple. May Isis, Osiris, and Horus keep you under their sacred and honorable protection, along with the priests of Memphis in their sacred care."

Your affectionate friend,
Mambres."

Your affectionate friend,
Mambres."

He made four copies of this letter for fear of accidents, and enclosed them in cases of the hardest ebony. Then calling to him his four couriers, whom he had destined for this employment, (these were the ass, the dog, the raven, and the pigeon,) he said to the ass:

He made four copies of this letter just in case something went wrong, and put them in cases made of the toughest ebony. Then he called over his four couriers, who he had chosen for this task (these were the donkey, the dog, the raven, and the pigeon), and said to the donkey:

"I know with what fidelity you served Balaam my brother. Serve me as faithfully. There is not an unicorn who equals you in swiftness. Go, my dear friend, and deliver this letter to the person himself to whom it is directed, and return."

"I know how faithfully you served Balaam, my brother. Serve me just as faithfully. There's no unicorn that matches your speed. Go, my dear friend, and deliver this letter to the person it’s meant for, and then come back."

The ass answered:

The donkey replied:

"Sir, as I served Balaam, I will serve you. I will go, and I will return."

"Sir, just as I served Balaam, I will serve you. I will go, and I will come back."

The sage put the box of ebony into her mouth, and she swiftly departed. He then called Tobit's dog.

The wise woman put the ebony box in her mouth, and she quickly left. He then called Tobit's dog.

"Faithful dog," said Mambres, "more speedy in thy course than the nimble-footed Achilles, I know what you performed for Tobit, son of Tobit, when you and the angel Raphael accompanied him from Nineveh to Ragusa in Medea, and from Ragusa to Nineveh, and that he brought back to his father ten talents, which the slave Tobit, the father, had lent to the slave Gabellus; for the slaves at that time were very rich. Carry this letter as it is directed. It is much more valuable than ten talents of silver."

"Faithful dog," said Mambres, "you're faster than the swift-footed Achilles. I know what you did for Tobit, son of Tobit, when you and the angel Raphael helped him travel from Nineveh to Ragusa in Medea, and then back from Ragusa to Nineveh, bringing back ten talents to his father, which the servant Tobit had lent to the servant Gabellus; because back then, the servants were quite wealthy. Take this letter as directed. It's worth much more than ten talents of silver."

The dog then replied:

The dog then responded:

"Sir, if I formerly followed the messenger Raphael, I can with equal ease execute your commission."

"Sir, if I previously followed the messenger Raphael, I can just as easily carry out your request."

Mambres put the letter into his mouth.

Mambres put the letter in his mouth.

He next spoke in the same manner to the pigeon, who replied.

He then spoke in the same way to the pigeon, which answered back.

"Sir, if I brought back a bough into the ark, I will likewise bring you back an answer."

"Sir, if I bring back a branch to the ark, I will also bring you back an answer."

She took the letter in her bill, and the three messengers were out of sight in a moment. Then Mambres addressed the raven,

She took the letter from her pocket, and the three messengers disappeared in an instant. Then Mambres spoke to the raven,

"I know that you fed the great prophet Elijah, when he was concealed near the torrent of Cherith, so much celebrated in the world. You brought him every day good bread and fat pullets. I only ask of you to carry this letter to Memphis."

"I know that you fed the great prophet Elijah when he was hiding near the stream of Cherith, which is so well-known in the world. You brought him fresh bread and tender chickens every day. All I ask is for you to take this letter to Memphis."

The raven answered in these words:

The raven responded with these words:

"It is true, sir, that I carried every day a dinner to the great prophet Elijah the Tishbite. I saw him mount in a chariot of fire drawn by fiery horses, although this is not the usual method of traveling. But I always took care to eat half the dinner myself. I am very well pleased to carry your letter, provided you make me certain of two good meals every day, and that I am paid money in advance for my commission."

"It’s true, sir, that I brought a meal every day to the great prophet Elijah the Tishbite. I saw him ascend in a chariot of fire pulled by fiery horses, even though that’s not the usual way to travel. But I always made sure to eat half the meal myself. I’m happy to deliver your letter, as long as you guarantee me two good meals every day and pay me in advance for my services."

Mambres, angry, replied:

Mambres replied angrily:

"Gluttonous and malicious creature, I am not astonished that Apollo has made you black as a mole, after being white as a swan, as you was formerly before you betrayed in the plains of Thessaly the beautiful Coronis, the unfortunate mother of Æsculapius. Tell me, did you eat ribs of beef and pullets every day when you was ten whole months in the ark?"

"Greedy and spiteful creature, I'm not surprised that Apollo has turned you as dark as a mole after you used to be as white as a swan before you betrayed the beautiful Coronis, the unfortunate mother of Æsculapius, in the plains of Thessaly. Tell me, did you eat ribs of beef and chicken every day during the ten months you spent in the ark?"

"Sir," said the raven, "we had there very good cheer. They served up roast meat twice a day to all the fowls of my species who live upon nothing but flesh, such as the vultures, kites, eagles, buzzards, sparrow-hawks, owls, tarsels, falcons, great owls, and an innumerable crowd of birds of prey. They furnished, with the most plentiful profusion, the tables of the lions, leopards, tigers, panthers, hyænas, wolves, bears, foxes, polecats, and all sorts of carnivorous quadrupeds. There were in the ark eight persons of distinction, (and the only ones who were then in the world,) continually employed in the care of our table and our wardrobe; Noah and his wife, who were about six hundred years old, their three sons and their three wives. It was charming to see with what care, what dexterity, what cleanliness, our eight domestics served four thousand of the most ravenous guests, without reckoning the amazing trouble which about ten or twelve thousand other animals required, from the elephant and the giraffe, to the silk-worm and fly. What astonishes me is, that our purveyor Noah is unknown to all the nations of whom he is the stem, but I don't much mind it. I had already been present at a similar entertainment with Xesustres king of Thrace. Such things as these happen from time to time for the instruction of ravens. In a word, I want to have good cheer, and to be paid in ready money."

"Sir," said the raven, "we had a great time there. They served roast meat twice a day to all the birds like us who live on nothing but flesh, such as vultures, kites, eagles, buzzards, sparrow-hawks, owls, tarsels, falcons, great owls, and countless other birds of prey. They supplied, without holding back, the tables of lions, leopards, tigers, panthers, hyenas, wolves, bears, foxes, polecats, and all kinds of carnivorous animals. There were eight distinguished people in the ark, (the only ones in the world at that time), always busy taking care of our meals and our clothing: Noah and his wife, who were about six hundred years old, their three sons, and their three wives. It was delightful to see how carefully, skillfully, and tidily our eight helpers served four thousand of the hungriest guests, not to mention the incredible effort required for around ten or twelve thousand other animals, from the elephant and the giraffe to the silk-worm and fly. What shocks me is that our provider Noah is unknown to all the nations he's a part of, but I don’t really care. I've already been to a similar feast with Xesustus, king of Thrace. Events like these happen now and then for the education of ravens. In short, I want a good meal and to be paid in cash."

The wise Mambres took care not to give his letter to such a discontented and babbling animal; and they separated very much dissatisfied with each other.

The wise Mambres was careful not to give his letter to such a disgruntled and talkative creature; and they parted ways feeling quite dissatisfied with one another.

But it is necessary to know what became of the white bull, and not to lose sight of the old woman and the serpent. Mambres ordered his intelligent and faithful domestics to follow them; and as for himself, he advanced in a litter by the side of the Nile, always making reflections.

But it’s important to know what happened to the white bull, and not to forget about the old woman and the serpent. Mambres instructed his clever and loyal servants to follow them; as for himself, he traveled in a litter along the Nile, constantly deep in thought.

Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah. Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah.—"A boatman singing a cheerful song tied up a small boat by the river and three serious figures, dressed in dirty, tattered clothes, climbed out. Despite their poverty, they carried an impressive and dignified presence. These strangers were Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah."


"How is it possible," said he to himself, "that a serpent should be master of almost all the world, as he boasts, and as so many learned men acknowledge, and that he nevertheless obeys an old woman? How is it, that he is sometimes called to the council of the Most High, while he creeps upon earth? In what manner can he enter by his power alone into the bodies of men, and that so many men pretend to dislodge him by means of words? In short, why does he pass with a small neighboring people, for having ruined the human race? And how is it that the human race are entirely ignorant of this? I am old, I have studied all my life, but I see a crowd of inconsistencies which I cannot reconcile. I cannot account for what has happened to myself, neither for the great things which I long ago performed, nor those of which I have been witness. Every thing well considered, I begin to think that this world subsists by contradictions, rerum concordia discors, as my master Zoroaster formerly said."


"How is it possible," he wondered to himself, "that a serpent can be in control of almost the entire world, as he claims, and as so many scholars agree, yet still obey an old woman? How is it that he is sometimes summoned to the council of the Most High while crawling on the earth? How can he, by his own power, enter the bodies of men, and why do so many men think they can drive him out with words? In short, why do some small neighboring people blame him for ruining humanity? And how is it that humanity remains completely unaware of this? I'm old; I've studied my whole life, but I see a lot of inconsistencies that I can't explain. I can't understand what has happened to me, nor the great things I accomplished long ago, nor those I have witnessed. When I think it over, I'm starting to believe that this world exists through contradictions, rerum concordia discors, as my master Zoroaster used to say."

While he was plunged in this obscure metaphysical reasoning,—obscure like all metaphysics,—a boatman singing a jovial song, made fast a small boat by the side of the river, and three grave personages, half clothed in dirty tattered garments, landed from it; but preserved, under the garb of poverty, the most majestic and august air. These strangers were Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah.

While he was deep in this unclear metaphysical reasoning—unclear like all metaphysics—a boatman singing a cheerful song tied up a small boat by the river, and three serious figures, dressed in ragged, dirty clothes, stepped off of it; yet, despite their shabby appearance, they carried themselves with the most impressive and dignified presence. These strangers were Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah.

[1] "Histories," says Pope, in his Poetical Works, vol. 4, p. 245, "are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends, but: I will only say for the honor of dogs, that the two most ancient and estimable books, sacred and profane, extant, viz. the Scripture and Homer, have shown a particular regard to these animals. That of Tobit is the most remarkable, because there seemed no manner of reason to take notice of the dog, besides the great humanity of the author. ['And the dog went after them,' Tobit, xi: 4.] Homer's account of Ulysses's dog, Argus, is the most pathetic imaginable, all the circumstances considered, and an excellent proof of the old bard's good nature.... Plutarch, relating how the Athenians were obliged to abandon Athens in the time of Themistocles, steps back again out of the way of his history, purely to describe the lamentable cries and howlings of the poor dogs they left behind. He makes mention of one that followed his master across the sea to Salamis, where he died, and was honored with a tomb by the Athenians, who gave the name of the Dog's Grave to that part of the island where he was buried. This respect to a dog, in the most polite people of the world, is very observable. A modern instance of gratitude to a dog is, that the chief order of Denmark, (now injuriously called the order of the elephant), was instituted in memory of the fidelity of a dog, named Wildbrat, to one of their kings who had been deserted by his subjects. He gave his order this motto, or to this effect, (which still remains), 'Wildbrat was faithful.' Sir William Trumbull has told me a story, which he heard from one that was present. King Charles I. being with some of his Court, during his troubles, a discourse arose what sort of dogs deserved pre-eminence, and it being on all hands agreed to belong either to the spaniel or greyhound, the King gave his opinion on the part of the greyhound, because (said he) it has all the good-nature of the other without the fawning."

[1] "Histories," says Pope, in his Poetical Works, vol. 4, p. 245, "are full of examples of the loyalty of dogs rather than friends, but I will only mention the honor of dogs, as the two oldest and most respected books, sacred and secular, which still exist, namely, the Scripture and Homer, have shown special regard for these animals. The story of Tobit is the most notable because there seemed to be no real reason to mention the dog, aside from the author's great kindness. ['And the dog went after them,' Tobit, xi: 4.] Homer's tale of Ulysses's dog, Argus, is incredibly moving, given all the circumstances, and is a great proof of the old poet's kindness... Plutarch, while recounting how the Athenians had to abandon Athens during Themistocles's time, takes a moment out of his narrative to describe the sad cries and howls of the poor dogs left behind. He mentions one that followed his master across the sea to Salamis, where it died and was honored with a tomb by the Athenians, who named the area where he was buried Dog's Grave. This respect for a dog among the most civilized people in the world is quite noticeable. A modern example of gratitude to a dog is that the chief order of Denmark, (now wrongly called the order of the elephant), was established in memory of a dog named Wildbrat, who was loyal to one of their kings who had been abandoned by his subjects. He gave his order this motto, or something similar, (which still exists), 'Wildbrat was faithful.' Sir William Trumbull shared a story with me, which he heard from someone who was there. King Charles I, during his troubles, was with some of his Court when a discussion arose about which kind of dogs deserved special recognition, and it was widely agreed that it should belong either to the spaniel or the greyhound. The King favored the greyhound because (he said) it has all the good nature of the spaniel without being overly submissive."

This satire upon fawning would no doubt have been as applicable to the court of king Amasis as to that of Charles I., for fawning has ever been the besetting sin of dogs and courtiers.

This satire on sycophancy would definitely have been just as relevant to the court of King Amasis as it was to that of Charles I., because flattery has always been the common fault of both dogs and courtiers.

It is indeed a grand testimonial to the value of the greyhound, that his fleetness and fidelity were appreciated by Mambres, the great Egyptian magician, five thousand years before they were endorsed by the unfortunate English king. Miss Endor, Homer, Ulysses, Mambres, Tobit, Plutarch, the polite Athenians, Charles I., and Alexander Pope are certainly as respectable a list of references as the most aristocratic greyhound could desire.—E.

It’s definitely a testament to the value of the greyhound that its speed and loyalty were recognized by Mambres, the famous Egyptian magician, five thousand years before they were praised by the unfortunate English king. Miss Endor, Homer, Ulysses, Mambres, Tobit, Plutarch, the polite Athenians, Charles I., and Alexander Pope make for a pretty respectable list of endorsements that even the most aristocratic greyhound would appreciate.—E.


CHAPTER VI.

HOW MAMBRES MET THREE PROPHETS AND GAVE THEM A DELICIOUS DINNER.

These three great men who had the prophetic light in their countenance, knew the wise Mambres to be one of their brethren, by some marks of the same light which he had still remaining, and prostrated themselves before his litter. Mambres likewise knew them to be prophets, more by their uncouth dress, than by those gleams of fire which proceeded from their august heads. He conjectured that they came to learn news of the white bull; and conducting himself with his usual propriety, he alighted from his carriage and advanced a few steps toward them, with dignified politeness. He raised them up, caused tents to be erected, and prepared a dinner, of which he rightly judged that the prophets had very great need.

These three great men, who had a prophetic light in their faces, recognized the wise Mambres as one of their own by some signs of the same light that still remained with him, and they bowed before his litter. Mambres also recognized them as prophets, more by their strange clothing than by the sparks of fire that came from their noble heads. He guessed that they had come to get news about the white bull; and behaving as he usually did, he got down from his carriage and walked a few steps toward them with dignified politeness. He lifted them up, had tents set up, and prepared a dinner, which he rightly understood the prophets needed very much.

He invited the old woman to it, who was only about five hundred paces from them. She accepted the invitation, and arrived leading her white bull.

He invited the old woman, who was just about five hundred steps away from them. She accepted the invitation and showed up with her white bull.

Two soups were served up, one de Bisque, and the other a la Reine. The first course consisted of a carp's tongue pie, livers of eel-pouts, and pikes; fowls dressed with pistachios, pigeons with truffles and olives; two young turkeys with gravy of cray fish, mushrooms, and morels; and a chipotata. The second course was composed of pheasants, partridges, quails, and ortalons, with four salads; the epergne was in the highest taste; nothing could be more delicious than the side dishes, nothing more brilliant and more ingenious than the dessert. But the wise Mambres took great care to have no boiled beef, nor short ribs, nor tongue, nor palate of an ox, nor cows' udder, lest the unfortunate monarch near at hand should think that they insulted him.

Two soups were served, one de Bisque and the other a la Reine. The first course included a carp tongue pie, eel-pout livers, and pike; chickens dressed with pistachios, pigeons with truffles and olives; two young turkeys with crayfish gravy, mushrooms, and morels; and a chipotata. The second course featured pheasants, partridges, quails, and ortalons, along with four salads; the centerpiece was very tastefully arranged; nothing could be more delicious than the side dishes, and nothing more impressive and creative than the dessert. However, the wise Mambrés was careful to avoid serving boiled beef, short ribs, tongue, or ox palate, as well as cow's udder, so that the unfortunate king nearby wouldn't think they were insulting him.

This great and unfortunate prince was feeding near the tent; and never did he feel in a more cruel manner the fatal revolution which had deprived him of his throne for seven long years.

This great and unfortunate prince was eating near the tent, and he had never felt in a more painful way the devastating turn of events that had taken away his throne for seven long years.

"Alas!" said he, to himself, "this Daniel who has changed me into a bull, and this sorceress my keeper, make the best cheer in the world; while I, the sovereign of Asia, am reduced to the necessity of eating grass, and drinking water."

"Wow!" he said to himself, "this Daniel who turned me into a bull, and this sorceress who’s keeping me here, are having a great time; while I, the ruler of Asia, am stuck eating grass and drinking water."

When they had drank heartily of the wine of Engaddi, of Tadmor, and of Sebiras, the prophets and the witch conversed with more frankness than at the first course.

When they had drunk heartily of the wine from Engaddi, Tadmor, and Sebiras, the prophets and the witch spoke more openly than during the first course.

"I must acknowledge," said Daniel, "that I did not live so well in the lion's den."

"I have to admit," said Daniel, "that I didn't do too well in the lion's den."

"What, sir," said Mambres, "did they put you into a den of lions? How came you not to be devoured?"

"What, sir," asked Mambres, "did they throw you into a den of lions? How did you manage not to get eaten?"

"Sir," said Daniel, "you know very well that lions never eat prophets."

"Sir," Daniel said, "you know that lions never eat prophets."

"As for me," said Jeremiah, "I have passed my whole life starving of hunger. This is the only day I ever ate a good meal; and were I to spend my life over again, and had it in my power to choose my condition, I must own I would much rather be comptroller-general or bishop of Babylon, than prophet at Jerusalem."

"As for me," said Jeremiah, "I've spent my whole life starving. This is the only day I've ever had a good meal; and if I could live my life again and choose my circumstances, I have to admit I would much rather be the comptroller-general or bishop of Babylon than a prophet in Jerusalem."

Ezekiel cried, "I was once ordered to sleep three hundred and ninety days upon my left side, and to eat all that time bread of wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentiles, cooked in the strangest manner. Still I must own that the cookery of Seigneur Mambres is much more delicate. However, the prophetic trade has its advantages, and the proof is, that there are many who follow it."

Ezekiel shouted, "I was once told to lie on my left side for three hundred and ninety days, eating bread made from wheat, barley, beans, and lentils, prepared in the oddest ways. Still, I have to admit that Seigneur Mambres’ cooking is way more refined. However, being a prophet does have its perks, and the proof is that many people choose to do it."

After they had spoken thus freely, Mambres entered upon business. He asked the three pilgrims the reason of their journey into the dominions of the king of Tanis. Daniel replied, "That the kingdom of Babylon had been all in a flame since Nebuchadnezzar had disappeared: that according to the custom of the court, they had persecuted all the prophets, who passed their lives in sometimes seeing kings humbled at their feet, and sometimes receiving a hundred lashes from them; that at length they had been obliged to take refuge in Egypt for fear of being starved."

After they had talked so openly, Mambres got down to business. He asked the three travelers why they had come to the land of the king of Tanis. Daniel said, "The kingdom of Babylon has been in chaos since Nebuchadnezzar disappeared. Following the court's tradition, they have persecuted all the prophets, who sometimes found themselves at the feet of kings, and other times received a hundred lashes from them. Eventually, they had to flee to Egypt for fear of starvation."

Ezekiel and Jeremiah likewise spoke a long time in such fine terms, that it was almost impossible to understand them. As for the witch, she had always a strict eye over her charge. The fish of Jonah continued in the Nile, opposite to the tent, and the serpent sported upon the grass. After drinking coffee, they took a walk by the side of the Nile; and the white bull, perceiving the three prophets, his enemies, bellowed most dreadfully, ran furiously at them, and gored them with his horns. As prophets never have anything but skin upon their bones, he would certainly have run them through; but the ruler of the world, who sees all and remedies all, changed them immediately into magpies; and they continued to chatter as before. The same thing happened since to the Pierides;[1] so much has fable always imitated sacred history.

Ezekiel and Jeremiah also spoke for such a long time in such elaborate terms that it was nearly impossible to understand them. As for the witch, she always kept a close watch over her charge. The fish of Jonah stayed in the Nile, right across from the tent, and the serpent played on the grass. After having coffee, they took a stroll along the Nile; and the white bull, spotting the three prophets, his foes, let out a terrible bellow, charged at them angrily, and gored them with his horns. Since prophets only have skin over their bones, he would have definitely impaled them; but the ruler of the world, who sees and fixes everything, instantly transformed them into magpies, and they continued to chatter just like before. The same thing happened later to the Pierides;[1] so much has fable always mirrored sacred history.

This incident caused new reflections in the mind of Mambres.

This incident sparked new thoughts in Mambres's mind.

"Here," said he, "are three great prophets changed into magpies. This ought to teach us never to speak too much, and always to observe a suitable discretion."

"Here," he said, "are three great prophets turned into magpies. This should remind us to never talk too much and always exercise appropriate discretion."

He concluded that wisdom was better than eloquence, and thought profoundly as usual; when a great and terrible spectacle presented itself to his eyes.

He decided that wisdom was more valuable than eloquence and, as usual, he thought deeply when a great and terrifying sight appeared before him.

[1] The nine daughters of Pierus, king of Emathia, were called Pierides. They entered into a contest with the Muses, and being conquered were metamorphosed into birds.—E.

[1] The nine daughters of Pierus, king of Emathia, were known as the Pierides. They challenged the Muses to a contest, and after losing, they were transformed into birds.—E.


CHAPTER VII.

HOW KING AMASIS WANTED TO GIVE THE WHITE BULL TO BE EATEN BY THE FISH OF JONAH, BUT DID NOT DO IT.

Clouds of dust floated from south to north. The noise of drums, fifes, psalteries, harps, and sackbuts was heard. Several squadrons and battalions advanced, and Amasis, king of Tanis, was at their head upon an Arabian horse caparisoned with scarlet trappings embroidered with gold. The heralds proclaimed that they should seize the white bull, bind him, and throw him into the Nile, to be devoured by the fish of Jonah; "for the king our lord, who is just, wants to revenge himself upon the white bull, who has bewitched his daughter."

Clouds of dust moved from south to north. The sound of drums, flutes, harps, and sackbuts filled the air. Several groups of soldiers advanced, and Amasis, the king of Tanis, led them on an Arabian horse adorned with red decorations stitched with gold. The heralds announced that they should capture the white bull, tie him up, and throw him into the Nile to be eaten by the fish of Jonah; "for our lord the king, who is just, wants to take revenge on the white bull that has enchanted his daughter."

The good old man Mambres made more reflections than ever. He saw very plainly that the malicious raven had told all to the king, and that the princess ran a great risk of being beheaded.

The old man Mambres thought more than ever. He clearly saw that the spiteful raven had revealed everything to the king, and that the princess was in serious danger of being executed.

"My dear friend," said he to the serpent, "go quickly and comfort the fair Amasidia, my foster daughter. Bid her fear nothing whatever may happen, and tell her stories to alleviate her inquietude; for stories always amuse the ladies, and it is only by interesting them that one can succeed in the world."

"My dear friend," he said to the serpent, "please hurry and comfort the lovely Amasidia, my foster daughter. Tell her not to worry about anything that might happen, and share stories to ease her anxiety; because stories always entertain women, and it’s only by captivating them that one can find success in life."

Mambres next prostrated himself before Amasis, king of Tanis, and thus addressed him:

Mambres then bowed down before Amasis, the king of Tanis, and spoke to him:

"O king, live for ever! The white bull should certainly be sacrificed, for your majesty is always in the right, but the ruler of the world has said, this bull must not be swallowed up by the fish of Jonah till Memphis shall have found a god to supply the place of him who is dead. Then thou shalt be revenged, and thy daughter exorcised, for she is possessed. Your piety is too great not to obey the commands of the ruler of the universe."

"O king, may you live forever! The white bull must definitely be sacrificed, as your majesty is always right, but the ruler of the world has said that this bull must not be consumed by the fish of Jonah until Memphis finds a god to replace the one who has died. Then you will be avenged, and your daughter will be freed from her possession, for she is indeed possessed. Your devotion is too strong not to follow the commands of the ruler of the universe."

Amasis, king of Tanis, remained for some time silent and in deep thought.

Amasis, king of Tanis, stayed quiet for a while, deep in thought.

"The god Apis," said he, at length, "is dead! God rest his soul! When do you think another ox will be found to reign over the fruitful Egypt?"

"The god Apis," he finally said, "is dead! May his soul rest in peace! When do you think another ox will be found to rule over the fertile Egypt?"

"Sire," replied Mambres, "I ask but eight days."

"Sire," Mambres replied, "I'm asking for just eight days."

"I grant them to you," replied the king, who was very religious, "and I will remain here the eight days. At the expiration of that time I will sacrifice the enemy of my daughter."

"I give them to you," replied the king, who was very devout, "and I will stay here for eight days. At the end of that time, I will sacrifice the enemy of my daughter."

Amasis immediately ordered that his tents, cooks, and musicians should be brought, and remained here eight days, as it is related in Manethon.

Amasis quickly instructed that his tents, cooks, and musicians be brought in, and he stayed here for eight days, as mentioned in Manethon.

The old woman was in despair that the bull she had in charge had but eight days to live. She raised phantoms every night, in order to dissuade the king from his cruel resolution; but Amasis forgot in the morning the phantoms he had seen in the night; similar to Nebuchadnezzar, who had always forgotten his dreams.

The old woman was in despair because the bull she was responsible for only had eight days left to live. Every night, she conjured up visions to try and change the king's harsh decision; however, Amasis forgot the visions he had seen by morning, just like Nebuchadnezzar, who always forgot his dreams.


CHAPTER VIII.

HOW THE SERPENT TOLD STORIES TO THE PRINCESS TO COMFORT HER.

Meanwhile the serpent told stories to the fair Amasidia to soothe her. He related to her how he had formerly cured a whole nation of the bite of certain little serpents, only by showing himself at the end of a staff. (Num. xx:9.) He informed her of the conquests of a hero who made a charming contrast with Amphion, architect of Thebes. Amphion assembled hewn stones by the sound of his violin. To build a city he had only to play a rigadoon and a minuet; but the other hero destroyed them by the sound of rams' horns. He executed thirty-one powerful kings in a country of four leagues in length and four in breadth. He made stones rain down from heaven upon a battalion of routed Amorites; and having thus exterminated them, he stopped the sun and moon at noon-day between Gibeon and Ajalon, in the road to Beth-horon, to exterminate them still more, after the example of Bacchus, who had stopped the sun and the moon in his journey to the Indies.

Meanwhile, the serpent shared stories with the beautiful Amasidia to comfort her. He told her how he once healed an entire nation from the bite of small serpents just by showing himself at the end of a staff. (Num. xx:9.) He recounted the victories of a hero who stood in stark contrast to Amphion, the architect of Thebes. Amphion gathered cut stones with the sound of his violin. To build a city, he just had to play a rigadoon and a minuet; but the other hero defeated them with the sound of ram's horns. He overthrew thirty-one powerful kings in a land four leagues long and four wide. He made stones fall from the sky onto a beaten battalion of Amorites; and after exterminating them, he halted the sun and moon at noon between Gibeon and Ajalon, on the way to Beth-horon, to finish them off even more, following the example of Bacchus, who had stopped the sun and moon on his journey to the Indies.

The prudence which every serpent ought to have, did not allow him to tell the fair Amasidia of the powerful Jephthah, who made a vow and beheaded his daughter, because he had gained a battle. This would have struck terror into the mind of the fair princess. But he related to her the adventures of the great Sampson, who killed a thousand Philistines with the jaw-bone of an ass, who tied together three hundred foxes by the tail, and who fell into the snares of a lady, less beautiful, less tender, and less faithful than the charming Amasidia.

The caution that every serpent should have prevented him from telling the beautiful Amasidia about the powerful Jephthah, who made a vow and ended up beheading his daughter after winning a battle. That would have terrified the lovely princess. Instead, he shared the tales of the great Samson, who killed a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey, tied together three hundred foxes by their tails, and who fell into the traps set by a woman far less beautiful, less gentle, and less loyal than the enchanting Amasidia.

He related to her the story of the unfortunate Sechem and Dinah, as well as the more celebrated adventures of Ruth and Boaz; those of Judah and Tamar; those even of Lot's two daughters; those of Abraham and Jacob's servant maids; those of Reuben and Bilhah; those of David and Bath-sheba; and those of the great king Solomon. In short, every thing which could dissipate the grief of a fair princess.

He told her the story of the unfortunate Sechem and Dinah, as well as the more famous adventures of Ruth and Boaz; those of Judah and Tamar; even those of Lot's two daughters; those of Abraham and Jacob's servant girls; those of Reuben and Bilhah; those of David and Bath-sheba; and those of the great King Solomon. In short, everything that could lift the spirits of a lovely princess.


CHAPTER IX.

HOW THE SERPENT FAILED TO COMFORT THE PRINCESS.

"All these stories tire me," said Amasidia, for she had understanding and taste. "They are good for nothing but to be commented upon among the Irish by that madman Abbadie, or among the Welsh by that prattler d'Houteville. Stories which might have amused the great, great, great grandmother of my grandmother, appear insipid to me who have been educated by the wise Mambres, and who have read Human Understanding by the Egyptian philosopher named Locke[1] and the Matron of Ephesus. I choose that a story should be founded on probability, and not always resemble a dream. I desire to find nothing in it trivial or extravagant; and I desire above all, that under the appearance of fable there may appear some latent truth, obvious to the discerning eye, though it escape the observation of the vulgar."

"All these stories wear me out," said Amasidia, because she had insight and taste. "They’re only good for being debated by that madman Abbadie among the Irish, or by that chatterbox d'Houteville among the Welsh. Tales that might have entertained my great, great, great grandmother feel bland to me, who have been taught by the wise Mambres and have read Human Understanding by the Egyptian philosopher Locke[1] and the Matron of Ephesus. I prefer a story to be based on probability, not just something that feels like a dream. I want to see nothing trivial or exaggerated in it; and above all, I hope that beneath the surface of the fable, there’s a hidden truth, clear to the discerning eye, even if it goes unnoticed by the average person."

"I am weary of a sun and of a moon which an old beldam disposes of at her pleasure, of mountains which dance, of rivers which return to their sources, and of dead men who rise again; but I am above measure disgusted when such insipid stories are written in a bombastic and unintelligible manner. A lady who expects to see her lover swallowed up by a great fish, and who is apprehensive of being beheaded by her own father, has need of amusement; but suit amusement to my taste."

"I’m tired of a sun and moon that an old hag controls whenever she wants, of mountains that dance, of rivers that go back to where they started, and of dead people who come back to life; but I’m especially disgusted when such boring stories are told in a pompous and confusing way. A lady who expects her lover to be swallowed by a giant fish and who fears being beheaded by her own father needs some entertainment; but make that entertainment more to my liking."

"You impose a difficult task upon me," replied the serpent. "I could have formerly made you pass a few hours agreeably enough, but for some time past I have lost both my imagination and memory. Alas! what has become of those faculties with which I formerly amused the ladies? Let me try, however, if I can recollect one moral tale for your entertainment.

"You’re giving me a tough job," replied the serpent. "I could have once made you enjoy a few hours, but lately, I’ve lost both my imagination and my memory. Oh no! Whatever happened to those abilities I used to entertain the ladies? Still, let me see if I can remember a moral story for your enjoyment."

"Five and twenty thousand years ago king Gnaof and queen Patra reigned in Thebes with its hundred gates. King Gnaof was very handsome, and queen Patra still more beautiful. But their home was unblest with children, and no heirs were born to continue the royal race.

"Twenty-five thousand years ago, King Gnaof and Queen Patra ruled in Thebes, which had a hundred gates. King Gnaof was very handsome, and Queen Patra was even more beautiful. However, their home was not blessed with children, and no heirs were born to continue the royal line."

"The members of the faculty of medicine and of the academy of surgery wrote excellent treatises upon this subject. The queen was sent to drink mineral waters; she fasted and prayed; she made magnificent presents to the temple of Jupiter Ammon, but all was to no purpose. At length a——"

"The faculty of medicine and the academy of surgery wrote outstanding papers on this topic. The queen went to drink mineral waters; she fasted and prayed; she gave lavish gifts to the temple of Jupiter Ammon, but it was all in vain. Finally, a——"

"Mon Dieu!" said the princess, "but I see where this leads. This story is too common, and I must likewise tell you that it offends my modesty. Relate some very true and moral story, which I have never yet heard, to complete the improvement of my understanding and my heart, as the Egyptian professor Lenro says."

"OMG!" said the princess, "but I see where this is going. This story is way too common, and I have to say that it really offends my modesty. Share some true and moral story, one that I've never heard before, to help improve my understanding and my heart, just like the Egyptian professor Lenro says."

"Here then, madam," said the beautiful serpent, "is one most incontestably authentic.

"Here you go, ma'am," said the beautiful serpent, "this is one that's definitely genuine."

"There were three prophets all equally ambitious and discontented with their condition. They had in common the folly to wish to be kings: for there is only one step from the rank of a prophet to that of a monarch, and man always aspires to the highest step in the ladder of fortune. In other respects, their inclinations and their pleasures were totally different. The first preached admirably to his assembled brethren, who applauded him by clapping their hands; the second was distractedly fond of music; and the third was a passionate lover of the fair sex.

There were three prophets, all equally ambitious and unhappy with their situation. They all shared the foolish desire to be kings, as there’s only one step from being a prophet to being a monarch, and people always aim for the highest rung on the ladder of success. In other ways, their interests and pleasures were completely different. The first one preached beautifully to his gathered followers, who applauded him by clapping; the second was mad about music; and the third was a passionate lover of women.

"The angel Ithuriel presented himself one day to them when they were at table discoursing on the sweets of royalty.

"The angel Ithuriel appeared to them one day while they were at the table discussing the pleasures of royalty."

"'The ruler of the world,' said the angel to them, 'sends me to you to reward your virtue. Not only shall you be kings, but you shall constantly satisfy your ruling passions. Your first prophet, I make king of Egypt, and you shall continually preside in your council, who shall applaud your eloquence and your wisdom; and you, second prophet, I make king over Persia, and you shall continually hear most heavenly music; and you, third prophet, I make king of India, and I give you a charming mistress who shall never forsake you.'

"'The ruler of the world,' the angel said to them, 'has sent me to reward your goodness. Not only will you be kings, but you will always fulfill your deepest desires. I appoint your first prophet as the king of Egypt, and you will always lead in your council, where your eloquence and wisdom will be celebrated; and you, the second prophet, I make king over Persia, and you will always hear the most beautiful music; and you, the third prophet, I make king of India, and I offer you an enchanting partner who will never leave your side.'"

"He to whose lot Egypt fell, began his reign by assembling his council, which was composed only of two hundred sages. He made them a long and eloquent speech, which was very much applauded, and the monarch enjoyed the pleasing satisfaction of intoxicating himself with praises uncorrupted by flattery.

"He who was given Egypt started his reign by gathering his council, which consisted of only two hundred wise men. He delivered a lengthy and impressive speech, which was met with great applause, and the king took great pleasure in the genuine praise that boosted his spirits."

"The council for foreign affairs succeeded to the privy council. This was much more numerous; and a new speech received still greater encomiums. And it was the same in the other councils. There was not a moment of intermission in the pleasures and glory of the prophet king of Egypt. The fame of his eloquence filled the world.

"The council for foreign affairs succeeded the privy council. This one was much larger, and a new speech received even more praise. The same went for the other councils. There wasn't a moment of pause in the pleasures and glory of the prophet king of Egypt. His eloquence was renowned all over the world."

"The prophet king of Persia began his reign by an Italian opera, whose choruses were sung by fifteen hundred eunuchs. Their voices penetrated his soul even to the very marrow of the bones, where it resides. To this opera succeeded another, and to the second a third, without interruption.

"The prophet king of Persia started his reign with an Italian opera, featuring choruses sung by fifteen hundred eunuchs. Their voices reached deep into his soul, all the way to the marrow of his bones. One opera followed another, and then a third came after the second, without a break."

"The king of India shut himself up with his mistress, and enjoyed perfect pleasure in her society. He considered the necessity of always flattering her as the highest felicity, and pitied the wretched situation of his two brethren, of whom one was obliged always to convene his council, and the other to be continually at an opera.

"The king of India isolated himself with his girlfriend and found great joy in her company. He believed that constantly impressing her was the greatest happiness and felt sorry for his two brothers, one of whom always had to hold council meetings, and the other had to be at the opera all the time."

"It happened at the end of a few days, that each of these kings became disgusted with his occupation, and beheld from his window, certain wood-cutters who came from an ale-house, and who were going to work in a neighboring forest. They walked arm in arm with their sweet-hearts, with whom they were happy. The kings begged of the angel Ithuriel, that he would intercede with the ruler of the world, and make them wood-cutters."

"It happened after a few days that each of these kings got fed up with their jobs and looked out their windows. They saw some wood-cutters coming from a pub, heading to work in a nearby forest. The wood-cutters were walking arm in arm with their girlfriends, looking happy. The kings asked the angel Ithuriel to speak to the ruler of the world and request to make them wood-cutters."

"I do not know whether the ruler of the world granted their request or not," interrupted the tender Amasidia, "and I do not care much about it; but I know very well that I should ask for nothing of any one, were I with my lover, with my dear NEBUCHADNEZZAR!"

"I don't know if the ruler of the world granted their request or not," interrupted the affectionate Amasidia, "and I really don't care; but I know for sure that I wouldn't ask for anything from anyone if I were with my lover, my dear NEBUCHADNEZZAR!"

The vaults of the palace resounded this mighty name. At first Amasidia had only pronounced Ne—, afterwards Neb—, then Nebu——. At length passion hurried her on, and she pronounced entire the fatal name, notwithstanding the oath she had sworn to the king, her father. All the ladies of the court repeated Nebuchadnezzar, and the malicious raven did not fail to carry the tidings to the king. The countenance of Amasis, king of Tanis, sunk, because his heart was troubled. And thus it was that the serpent, the wisest and most subtle of animals, always beguiled the women, thinking to do them service.

The palace vaults echoed this powerful name. At first, Amasidia only said Ne—, then Neb—, and finally Nebu——. Eventually, her passion took over, and she said the entire fatal name, despite the oath she had taken to her father, the king. All the ladies of the court echoed Nebuchadnezzar, and the spiteful raven didn’t hesitate to tell the king. Amasis, the king of Tanis, looked troubled as he felt his heart sink. And so it was that the serpent, the wisest and most cunning of creatures, consistently deceived women, believing he was helping them.

Amasis, in a fury, sent twelve alguazils for his daughter. These men are always ready to execute barbarous orders, because they are paid for it.

Amasis, in a rage, sent twelve alguazils for his daughter. These men are always ready to carry out cruel orders because they get paid for it.

[1] The doctrine of metempsychosis must be relied upon to explain this seeming anachronism.—E.

[1] The idea of metempsychosis should be used to explain this apparent inconsistency.—E.

Egyptian priests

CHAPTER X.

HOW THEY PLANNED TO BEHEAD THE PRINCESS BUT DID NOT GO THROUGH WITH IT.

No sooner had the princess entered the camp of the king, than he said to her: "My daughter, you know that all princesses who disobey their fathers are put to death; without which it would be impossible that a kingdom could be well governed. I charged you never to mention the name of your lover, Nebuchadnezzar, my mortal enemy, who dethroned me about seven years ago, and disappeared. In his place, you have chosen a white bull, and you have cried Nebuchadnezzar. It is just that I behead you."

No sooner had the princess entered the king's camp than he said to her: "My daughter, you know that all princesses who disobey their fathers are put to death; otherwise, it would be impossible for a kingdom to be well governed. I instructed you never to mention the name of your lover, Nebuchadnezzar, my mortal enemy, who overthrew me about seven years ago and vanished. Instead, you have chosen a white bull and cried out Nebuchadnezzar. It’s only right that I behead you."

The princess replied: "My father, thy will be done: but grant me some time to bewail my sad fate."

The princess said, "Father, I accept your decision: but please give me some time to mourn my unfortunate fate."

"That is reasonable," said King Amasis; "and it is a rule established among the most judicious princes. I give you a whole day to bewail your destiny, since it is your desire. To-morrow, which is the eighth day of my encampment, I will cause the white bull to be swallowed up by the fish, and I will behead you precisely at nine o'clock in the morning."

"That makes sense," said King Amasis. "It's a rule followed by the wisest rulers. I'm giving you a full day to mourn your fate, since that's what you want. Tomorrow, which is the eighth day of my camp, I'll have the white bull eaten by the fish, and I'll execute you right at nine o'clock in the morning."

The beautiful Amasidia then went forth in sorrow, to bewail her father's cruelty, and wandered by the side of the Nile, accompanied with the ladies of her train.

The beautiful Amasidia then walked away in sadness to mourn her father's cruelty, wandering along the banks of the Nile, accompanied by the ladies of her entourage.

The wise Mambres pondered beside her, and reckoned the hours and the moments.

The wise Mambres thought beside her, counting the hours and moments.

"Well! my dear Mambres," said she to him, "you have changed the waters of the Nile into blood, according to custom, and cannot you change the heart of Amasis, king of Tanis, my father? Will you suffer him to behead me to-morrow, at nine o'clock in the morning?"

"Well! my dear Mambres," she said to him, "you’ve turned the waters of the Nile into blood, just like always. Can’t you change the heart of Amasis, king of Tanis, my father? Are you really going to let him execute me tomorrow at nine in the morning?"

"That depends," replied the reflecting Mambres, "upon the speed and diligence of my couriers."

"That depends," replied the thoughtful Mambres, "on how fast and dedicated my couriers are."

The next day, as soon as the shadows of the obelisks and pyramids marked upon the ground the ninth hour of the day, the white bull was securely bound, to be thrown to the fish of Jonah; and they brought to the king his large sabre.

The next day, as soon as the shadows of the obelisks and pyramids marked the ninth hour of the day, the white bull was securely tied up, ready to be thrown to the fish of Jonah; and they brought the king his large sword.

"Alas! alas!" said Nebuchadnezzar to himself, "I, a king, have been a bull for near seven years; and scarcely have I found the mistress I had lost when I am condemned to be devoured by a fish."

"Whoa! Whoa!" said Nebuchadnezzar to himself, "I, a king, have been a bull for almost seven years; and just when I finally found the woman I thought I'd lost, I'm sentenced to be eaten by a fish."

Never had the wise Mambres made such profound reflections; and he was quite absorbed in his melancholy thoughts when he saw at a distance all he expected. An innumerable crowd drew nigh. Three figures of Isis, Osiris, and Horus, joined together, advanced, drawn in a carriage of gold and precious stones, by a hundred senators of Memphis, preceded by a hundred girls, playing upon the sacred sistrums. Four thousand priests, with their heads shaved, were each mounted upon a hippopotamus.

Never had the wise Mambres thought so deeply; he was completely lost in his gloomy thoughts when he saw everything he had anticipated in the distance. An enormous crowd was approaching. Three figures representing Isis, Osiris, and Horus, joined together, moved forward, being drawn in a carriage made of gold and precious stones by a hundred senators from Memphis, followed by a hundred girls playing the sacred sistrums. Four thousand priests, with their heads shaved, were each riding on a hippopotamus.

At a great distance, appeared with the same pomp, the sheep of Thebes, the dog of Babastes, the cat of Phoebe, the crocodile of Arsinoe, the goat of Mendez, and all the inferior gods of Egypt, who came to pay homage to the great ox, to the mighty Apis, as powerful as Isis, Osiris, and Horus, united together.

At a great distance, the sheep of Thebes, the dog of Babastes, the cat of Phoebe, the crocodile of Arsinoe, the goat of Mendez, and all the lesser gods of Egypt appeared with the same grandeur, coming to honor the great ox, the mighty Apis, as powerful as Isis, Osiris, and Horus, united together.

In the midst of the demi-gods, forty priests carried an enormous basket, filled with sacred onions. These were, it is true, gods, but they resembled onions very much.

In the midst of the demigods, forty priests carried a huge basket filled with sacred onions. They were, indeed, gods, but they looked a lot like onions.

On both sides of this aisle of gods, followed by an innumerable crowd of people, marched forty thousand warriors, with helmets on their heads, scimitars upon their left thighs, quivers at their shoulders, and bows in their hands.

On both sides of this aisle of gods, followed by an endless crowd of people, marched forty thousand warriors, wearing helmets, scimitars on their left thighs, quivers on their shoulders, and bows in their hands.

All the priests sang in chorus, with a harmony which ravished the soul, and which melted it.

All the priests sang together, their harmonies enchanting and moving the soul.

"Alas! alas! our ox is dead—
We'll have a finer in its stead."

"Oh no! Oh no! Our ox is dead—
"We'll get a better one instead."

And at every pause was heard the sound of the sistrums, of cymbals, of tabors, of psalteries, of bagpipes, harps, and sackbuts.

And at every break, the sounds of sistrums, cymbals, drums, psalteries, bagpipes, harps, and sackbuts could be heard.

Amasis, king of Tanis, astonished at this spectacle, beheaded not his daughter. He sheathed his scimitar.

Amasis, king of Tanis, amazed by this sight, did not behead his daughter. He put away his sword.

Winged bull

CHAPTER XI.

APOTHEOSIS OF THE WHITE BULL. TRIUMPH OF THE WISE MAMBRES. THE SEVEN YEARS PROCLAIMED BY DANIEL ARE FULFILLED. NEBUCHADNEZZAR TAKES HUMAN FORM AGAIN, MARRIES THE BEAUTIFUL AMASIDIA, AND ASCENDS TO THE THRONE OF BABYLON.

"Great king," said Mambres to him, "the order of things is now changed. Your majesty must set the example. O king! quickly unbind the white bull, and be the first to adore him."

"Great king," Mambres said to him, "things have changed now. Your majesty needs to lead by example. Oh king! Hurry and untie the white bull, and be the first to worship him."

Amasis obeyed, and prostrated himself with all his people. The high priest of Memphis presented to the new god Apis the first handful of hay; the Princess Amasidia tied to his beautiful horse festoons of roses, anemonies, ranunculuses, tulips, pinks, and hyacinths. She took the liberty to kiss him, but with a profound respect. The priests strewed palms and flowers on the road by which they were to conduct him to Memphis. And the wise Mambres, still making reflections, whispered to his friend, the serpent:

Amasis complied and bowed down with all his people. The high priest of Memphis offered the first handful of hay to the new god Apis. Princess Amasidia decorated his beautiful horse with garlands of roses, anemones, buttercups, tulips, pinks, and hyacinths. She dared to kiss him, but with deep respect. The priests spread palms and flowers on the path they would take to lead him to Memphis. Meanwhile, the wise Mambres, still pondering, whispered to his friend, the serpent:

"Daniel changed this monarch into a bull, and I have changed this bull into a god!"

"Daniel turned this king into a bull, and I have turned this bull into a god!"

They returned to Memphis in the same order, and the king of Tanis, in some confusion, followed the band. Mambres, with a serene and diplomatic air, walked by his side. The old woman came after, much amazed. She was accompanied by the serpent, the dog, the she-ass, the raven, the pigeon, and the scape-goat. The great fish mounted up the Nile. Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah, changed into magpies, brought up the rear.

They returned to Memphis in the same order, and the king of Tanis, somewhat confused, followed the group. Mambres, with a calm and diplomatic demeanor, walked beside him. The old woman came after, quite amazed. She was with the serpent, the dog, the female donkey, the raven, the pigeon, and the scapegoat. The great fish swam up the Nile. Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah, transformed into magpies, brought up the rear.

When they had reached the frontiers of the kingdom, which are not far distant, King Amasis took leave of the bull Apis, and said to his daughter:

When they reached the borders of the kingdom, which weren't too far away, King Amasis said goodbye to the bull Apis and spoke to his daughter:

"My daughter, let us return into my dominions, that I may behead you, as it has been determined in my royal breast, because you have pronounced the name of Nebuchadnezzar, my enemy, who dethroned me seven years ago. When a father has sworn to behead his daughter, he must either fulfill his oath, or sink into hell for ever; and I will not damn myself out of love for you."

"My daughter, let’s go back to my kingdom so I can behead you, as I've decided in my royal heart, because you mentioned the name of Nebuchadnezzar, my enemy, who overthrew me seven years ago. When a father has sworn to kill his daughter, he must either keep his promise or suffer for eternity; and I will not condemn myself because of my love for you."

The fair princess Amasidia replied to the King Amasis:

The beautiful Princess Amasidia responded to King Amasis:

"My dear father, whom it pleases you go and behead, but it shall not be me. I am now in the territories of Isis, Osiris, Horus, and Apis. I will never forsake my beautiful white bull, and I will continue to kiss him, till I have seen his apotheosis in his stable in the holy city of Memphis. It is a weakness pardonable in a young lady of high birth."

"My dear father, you may find it amusing to think about beheading me, but that's not happening. I'm currently in the lands of Isis, Osiris, Horus, and Apis. I will never abandon my beautiful white bull, and I will continue to care for him until I witness his deification in his stable in the holy city of Memphis. It's a weakness that's understandable for a young lady of high birth."

Scarce had she spoken these words, when the ox Apis cried out:

Scarce had she said these words when the ox Apis shouted:

"My dear Amasidia, I will love you whilst I live!"

"My dear Amasidia, I will love you as long as I live!"

This was the first time that the god Apis had been heard to speak during the forty thousand years that he had been worshiped.

This was the first time anyone had heard the god Apis speak in the forty thousand years he had been worshiped.

The serpent and the she-ass cried out, "the seven years are accomplished!" And the three magpies repeated, "the seven years are accomplished!"

The serpent and the she-ass shouted, "the seven years are done!" And the three magpies echoed, "the seven years are done!"

All the priests of Egypt raised their hands to heaven.

All the priests of Egypt lifted their hands to the sky.

The god on a sudden was seen to lose his two hind legs, his two fore legs were changed into two human legs; two white strong muscular arms grew from his shoulders; his taurine visage was changed to the face of a charming hero; and he once more became the most beautiful of mortals.

The god suddenly lost his two hind legs, his forelegs transformed into human legs; two strong, muscular arms grew from his shoulders; his bull-like face turned into that of a charming hero; and he once again became the most beautiful of mortals.

"I choose," cried he, "rather to be the lover of the beautiful Amasidia than a god. I am NEBUCHADNEZZAR, KING OF KINGS!"

"I choose," he shouted, "to be the lover of the beautiful Amasidia rather than a god. I am NEBUCHADNEZZAR, KING OF KINGS!"

This metamorphosis astonished all the world, except the wise Mambres. But what surprised nobody was, that Nebuchadnezzar immediately married the fair Amasidia in presence of this assembly.

This transformation amazed everyone in the world, except for the wise Mambres. However, what surprised no one was that Nebuchadnezzar instantly married the beautiful Amasidia in front of this gathering.

He left his father-in-law in quiet possession of the kingdom of Tanis; and made noble provision for the she-ass, the serpent, the dog, the pigeon, and even for the raven, the three magpies, and the large fish; showing to all the world that he knew how to forgive as well as to conquer.

He left his father-in-law in peaceful control of the kingdom of Tanis, and made generous arrangements for the she-ass, the serpent, the dog, the pigeon, and even for the raven, the three magpies, and the large fish; demonstrating to everyone that he knew how to forgive as well as to conquer.

The old woman had a considerable pension placed at her disposal.

The elderly woman had a substantial pension available to her.

The scape-goat was sent for a day into the wilderness, that all past sins might be expiated; and had afterwards twelve sprightly goats for his companions.

The scapegoat was sent out into the wilderness for a day, so that all past sins could be atoned for; and afterwards had twelve lively goats for companions.

The wise Mambres returned to his palace, and made reflections.

The wise Mambres returned to his palace and thought about things.

Nebuchadnezzar, after having embraced the magician, his benefactor, governed in tranquillity the kingdoms of Memphis, Babylon, Damascus, Balbec, Tyre, Syria, Asia Minor, Scythia, the countries of Thiras, Mosok, Tubal, Madai, Gog, Magog, Javan, Sogdiana, Aroriana, the Indies, and the Isles; and the people of this vast empire cried out aloud every morning at the rising of the sun:

Nebuchadnezzar, after welcoming the magician who helped him, ruled peacefully over the realms of Memphis, Babylon, Damascus, Balbec, Tyre, Syria, Asia Minor, Scythia, the lands of Thiras, Mosok, Tubal, Madai, Gog, Magog, Javan, Sogdiana, Aroriana, the Indies, and the Isles; and the people of this expansive empire called out loudly every morning at sunrise:

"Long live great Nebuchadnezzar, king of kings, who is no longer an ox!"

"Long live great Nebuchadnezzar, king of kings, who is no longer an ox!"

Since which time it has been a custom in Babylon, when the sovereign, deceived by his satraps, his magicians, treasurers or wives, at length acknowledges his errors, and amends his conduct, for all the people to cry out at his gate:

Since then, it's been a tradition in Babylon that when the king, misled by his governors, magicians, treasurers, or wives, finally recognizes his mistakes and changes his behavior, everyone in the city shouts at his gate:

Long live our great king, who is no longer an ox.

Long live our great king, who isn't an ox anymore.

The scape-goat The scapegoat

ZADIG; OR FATE.

AN ORIENTAL HISTORY.

APPROBATION.

I, the underwritten, who have obtained the character of a learned, and even of an ingenious man, have read this manuscript, which, in spite of myself, I have found to be curious, entertaining, moral, philosophical, and capable of affording pleasure even to those who hate romances. I have therefore decried it; and have assured the cadi-lesquier that it is an abominable performance.

I, the undersigned, known for being knowledgeable and even clever, have read this manuscript, which, contrary to my expectations, I found to be interesting, entertaining, moral, philosophical, and enjoyable even for those who aren’t fans of romances. Therefore, I have condemned it; and I informed the cadi-lesquier that it is a terrible piece of work.


EPISTLE DEDICATORY TO THE SULTANA SERAA.

The 18th of the month Schewal, in the 837th year of the Hegira.

The 18th of Shawwal, in the 837th year of the Hijra.

Delight of the eyes, torment of the heart, and light of the mind, I kiss not the dust of thy feet, because thou never walkest; or walkest only on the carpets of Iran, or in paths strewn with roses.

You are a joy to behold, a source of heartache, and a spark for the mind. I don't kiss the ground you walk on because you don’t walk; or maybe you only walk on the finest carpets of Iran or on rose-covered paths.

I offer thee the translation of a book, written by an ancient sage, who, having the happiness to have nothing to do, amused himself in composing the History of Zadig; a work which performs more than it promises.

I’m sharing with you a translation of a book by an ancient wise man who, fortunate to have plenty of free time, amused himself by writing the History of Zadig; a piece that offers much more than it claims.

I beseech thee to read and examine it; for, though thou art in the spring of life, and every pleasure courts thee to its embrace; though thou art beautiful, and thy beauty be embellished by thy admirable talents; though thou art praised from morning to evening, and, on all these accounts, hast a right to be devoid of common sense, yet thou hast a sound judgment and a fine taste; and I have heard thee reason with more accuracy than the old dervises, with their long beards and pointed bonnets.

I encourage you to read it and reflect on it; because even though you’re young and every pleasure seeks your attention; even though you’re beautiful, with your charm enhanced by your impressive talents; and even though people sing your praises all day long, which could make you seem lacking in common sense, you actually possess great judgment and taste; I’ve heard you speak with more clarity than those old wise men with their long beards and pointed hats.

Thou art discreet without being distrustful; gentle without weakness; and beneficent with discernment. Thou lovest thy friends, and makest thyself no enemies. Thy wit never borrows its charms from the shafts of detraction. Thou neither sayest nor doest any ill, notwithstanding that both are so much in thy power.

You are discreet without being secretive; kind without being weak; and generous with sound judgment. You cherish your friends and hold no grudges. Your wit never resorts to insults to be engaging. You don’t say or do anything wrong, even though you easily could.

In a word, thy soul hath always appeared to me to be as pure and unsullied as thy beauty. Besides, thou hast some little knowledge in philosophy, which makes me believe that thou wilt take more pleasure than others of thy sex in perusing the work of this venerable sage.

In short, your spirit has always seemed as pure and unblemished as your beauty. Plus, you have some knowledge of philosophy, which leads me to think that you will appreciate the work of this esteemed thinker more than other women.

It was originally written in the ancient Chaldee, a language which neither thou nor I understand. It was afterward translated into the Arabic, to amuse the famous sultan Oulougbeg, much about the time that the Arabians and the Persians began to write the Thousand and One Nights, the Thousand and One Days, etc.

It was originally written in ancient Chaldean, a language neither you nor I understand. It was later translated into Arabic to entertain the renowned Sultan Oulougbeg, around the same time that Arabs and Persians began crafting the Thousand and One Nights, the Thousand and One Days, etc.

Ouloug was fond of reading Zadig, but the sultanas were fonder of the Thousand and One. "How can you prefer," said the wise Ouloug to them, "those stories which have neither sense nor meaning?" "It is for that very reason," replied the sultanas, "that we prefer them."

Ouloug enjoyed reading Zadig, but the sultanas preferred the Thousand and One. "How can you like," said the wise Ouloug to them, "those stories that lack sense or meaning?" "That's exactly why we like them," replied the sultanas.

I flatter myself that thou wilt not resemble these, thy predecessors; but that thou wilt be a true Ouloug. I even hope, that when thou art tired with those general conversations, which differ from the Thousand and One in nothing but in being less agreeable, I shall have the honor to entertain thee for a moment with a rational discourse.

I hope you won't follow in their footsteps; instead, you will be a true Ouloug. I even hope that when you tire of those generic conversations, which are no different from the Thousand and One except for being less enjoyable, I will have the honor of engaging you momentarily in a thoughtful discussion.

Hadst thou been Thalestris in the time of Scander, the son of Philip; hadst thou been the Queen of Sheba in the time of Solomon; these are the very kings that would have paid thee a visit.

If you had been Thalestris during the time of Scander, the son of Philip; if you had been the Queen of Sheba during Solomon's reign; these are the very kings who would have come to visit you.

I pray the heavenly powers, that thy pleasures may be unmixed, thy beauty never fading, and thy happiness without end.

I pray to the heavenly powers that your pleasures may be pure, your beauty everlasting, and your happiness boundless.

SADI.


SADI.


Caravan

ZADIG: OR, FATE

I.

ONE-EYED.

There lived at Babylon, in the reign of King Moabdar, a young man, named Zadig, of a good natural disposition, strengthened and improved by education. Though rich and young, he had learned to moderate his passions. He had nothing stiff or affected in his behavior. He did not pretend to examine every action by the strict rules of reason, but was always ready to make proper allowances for the weakness of mankind. It was a matter of surprise, that, notwithstanding his sprightly wit, he never exposed by his raillery those vague, incoherent, and noisy discourses; those rash censures, ignorant decisions, coarse jests, and all that empty jingle of words which at Babylon went by the name of conversation. He had learned, in the first book of Zoroaster, that self-love is a foot-ball swelled with wind, from which, when pierced, the most terrible tempests issue forth. Above all, Zadig never boasted of his conquests among the women, nor affected to entertain a contemptible opinion of the fair sex. He was generous, and was never afraid of obliging the ungrateful; remembering the grand precept of Zoroaster, "When thou eatest, give to the dogs, should they even bite thee." He was as wise as it is possible for man to be, for he sought to live with the wise. Instructed in the sciences of the ancient Chaldeans, he understood the principles of natural philosophy, such as they were then supposed to be; and knew as much of metaphysics as hath ever been known in any age, that is, little or nothing at all. He was firmly persuaded, notwithstanding the new philosophy of the times, that the year consisted of three hundred and sixty-five days and six hours, and that the sun was the centre of the solar system. When the principal magi told him, with a haughty and contemptuous air, that his sentiments were of a dangerous tendency, and that it was to be an enemy to the state to believe that the sun revolved round its own axis, and that the year had twelve months, he held his tongue with great modesty and meekness.

There lived in Babylon during the reign of King Moabdar a young man named Zadig. He had a good nature, which was further developed by his education. Even though he was wealthy and young, he learned to control his emotions. He was not stiff or pretentious in his behavior. Instead of trying to analyze every action with rigid logic, he was always willing to make allowances for human weaknesses. It was surprising that despite his sharp wit, he never ridiculed the vague, incoherent, and loud conversations around him; he avoided criticizing the hasty judgments, ignorant opinions, crude jokes, and all the meaningless chatter that passed for conversation in Babylon. He had learned from the first book of Zoroaster that self-love is like an inflated football—when it's punctured, it can unleash terrible storms. Above all, Zadig never bragged about his successes with women nor dismissed the fair sex. He was generous and never hesitated to help the ungrateful, remembering Zoroaster's great saying: "When you eat, give to the dogs, even if they bite you." He was as wise as a person could be, always seeking the company of the wise. Educated in the sciences of the ancient Chaldeans, he understood natural philosophy as it was understood at the time and knew a bit about metaphysics, which was, essentially, very little. He firmly believed, despite the new philosophies of his time, that the year had three hundred and sixty-five days and six hours and that the sun was the center of the solar system. When the leading magi told him with an arrogant and disdainful attitude that his views were dangerous and that believing the sun rotated on its axis and that the year had twelve months was being an enemy to the state, he remained quiet, showing great humility and gentleness.

Possessed as he was of great riches, and consequently of many friends, blessed with a good constitution, a handsome figure, a mind just and moderate, and a heart noble and sincere, he fondly imagined that he might easily be happy. He was going to be married to Semira, who, in point of beauty, birth, and fortune, was the first match in Babylon. He had a real and virtuous affection for this lady, and she loved him with the most passionate fondness. The happy moment was almost arrived that was to unite them for ever in the bands of wedlock, when happening to take a walk together toward one of the gates of Babylon, under the palm-trees that adorn the banks of the Euphrates, they saw some men approaching, armed with sabres and arrows. These were the attendants of young Orcan, the minister's nephew, whom his uncle's creatures had flattered into an opinion that he might do everything with impunity. He had none of the graces nor virtues of Zadig; but thinking himself a much more accomplished man, he was enraged to find that the other was preferred before him. This jealousy, which was merely the effect of his vanity, made him imagine that he was desperately in love with Semira; and accordingly he resolved to carry her off. The ravishers seized her; in the violence of the outrage, they wounded her, and made the blood flow from a person, the sight of which would have softened the tigers of mount Imaus. She pierced the heavens with her complaints. She cried out: "My dear husband! they tear me from the man I adore!"

Possessed as he was of great wealth and many friends, blessed with good health, attractive looks, a fair and balanced mind, and a noble and sincere heart, he believed he could easily find happiness. He was about to marry Semira, who was the most beautiful, well-born, and wealthy match in Babylon. He truly loved her, and she adored him with intense passion. The moment was almost here that would unite them forever in marriage when they happened to take a walk toward one of Babylon's gates, beneath the palm trees lining the Euphrates River. They saw some men approaching, armed with swords and arrows. These were the followers of young Orcan, the minister's nephew, who had been flattered by his uncle’s associates into thinking he could do anything without consequences. He didn’t have the charm or virtues of Zadig, but he convinced himself that he was superior and was enraged to see Zadig favored over him. This jealousy, stemming purely from his vanity, led him to believe he was hopelessly in love with Semira, and he decided to abduct her. The attackers seized her; in the chaos of the assault, they wounded her, causing blood to flow from a body that would have softened even the fiercest tigers of Mount Imaus. She cried out to the heavens in despair: "My dear husband! They’re tearing me away from the man I love!"

Regardless of her own danger, she was only concerned for the fate of her dear Zadig, who, in the meantime, defended himself with all the strength that courage and love could inspire. Assisted only by two faithful slaves, he put the cowardly ravishers to flight, and carried home Semira, insensible and bloody as she was.

Regardless of her own danger, she was only worried about the fate of her beloved Zadig, who, in the meantime, fought off his attackers with all the strength that courage and love could inspire. With only two loyal servants by his side, he drove off the cowardly assailants and brought Semira home, unconscious and bloodied as she was.

"O Zadig," said she, on opening her eyes, and beholding her deliverer, "I loved thee formerly as my intended husband, I now love thee as the preserver of my honor and my life!"

"O Zadig," she said, opening her eyes and seeing her rescuer, "I used to love you as my betrothed, and now I love you as the one who has saved my honor and my life!"

Never was heart more deeply affected than that of Semira. Never did a more charming mouth express more moving sentiments, in those glowing words inspired by a sense of the greatest of all favors, and by the most tender transports of a lawful passion. Her wound was slight, and was soon cured. Zadig was more dangerously wounded. An arrow had pierced him near his eye, and penetrated to a considerable depth, Semira wearied heaven with her prayers for the recovery of her lover. Her eyes were constantly bathed in tears; she anxiously waited the happy moment when those of Zadig should be able to meet hers; but an abscess growing on the wounded eye, gave everything to fear. A messenger was immediately dispatched to Memphis, for the great physician Hermes, who came with a numerous retinue. He visited the patient, and declared that he would lose his eye. He even foretold the day and hour when this fatal event would happen.

Never was a heart more profoundly touched than Semira's. Never did a more charming mouth express such moving feelings, in those passionate words inspired by the greatest of all gifts and the most tender emotions of a rightful love. Her injury was minor and healed quickly. Zadig, on the other hand, was hurt more severely. An arrow had pierced near his eye, going in quite deeply, and Semira tirelessly pleaded with heaven for her lover's recovery. Her eyes were constantly filled with tears; she anxiously awaited the moment when Zadig's eyes could meet hers again. However, an abscess forming on the wounded eye filled her with dread. A messenger was quickly sent to Memphis for the famous physician Hermes, who arrived with a large entourage. He examined the patient and announced that he would lose his eye. He even predicted the day and hour when this unfortunate event would take place.

"Had it been the right eye," said he, "I could easily have cured it; but the wounds of the left eye are incurable."

"Had it been the right eye," he said, "I could have easily fixed it; but the injuries to the left eye cannot be healed."

All Babylon lamented the fate of Zadig, and admired the profound knowledge of Hermes. In two days the abscess broke of its own accord, and Zadig was perfectly cured. Hermes wrote a book, to prove that it ought not to have been cured. Zadig did not read it: but, as soon as he was able to go abroad, he went to pay a visit to her in whom all his hopes of happiness were centered, and for whose sake alone he wished to have eyes. Semira had been in the country for three days past. He learned on the road, that that fine lady, having openly declared that she had an unconquerable aversion to one-eyed men, had the night before given her hand to Orcan. At this news he fell speechless to the ground. His sorrows brought him almost to the brink of the grave. He was long indisposed; but reason at last got the better of his affliction; and the severity of his fate served even to console him.

Everyone in Babylon mourned for Zadig and admired Hermes's deep knowledge. Within two days, the abscess broke on its own, and Zadig was completely healed. Hermes wrote a book to argue that he shouldn't have been cured. Zadig didn’t read it; instead, as soon as he was well enough to go out, he visited the woman who held all his hopes for happiness and for whom he wanted sight. Semira had been out of town for three days. On his way, he found out that this beautiful lady, having openly stated her strong dislike for one-eyed men, had married Orcan the night before. Upon hearing this, he fell speechless to the ground. His grief nearly brought him to death's door. He was unwell for a long time, but eventually, reason prevailed over his pain, and the harshness of his fate even offered him some solace.

"Since," said he, "I have suffered so much from the cruel caprice of a woman educated at court, I must now think of marrying the daughter of a citizen."

"Since," he said, "I have endured so much from the cruel whims of a woman raised in high society, I need to consider marrying the daughter of a merchant."

He pitched upon Azora, a lady of the greatest prudence, and of the best family in town. He married her, and lived with her for three months in all the delights of the most tender union. He only observed that she had a little levity; and was too apt to find that those young men who had the most handsome persons were likewise possessed of the most wit and virtue.

He settled on Azora, a woman of great wisdom and from the best family in town. He married her and spent three months with her in the joys of a deeply loving relationship. He only noticed that she had a bit of a playful side and tended to believe that the most attractive young men were also the most witty and virtuous.


II.

THE NOSE.

One morning Azora returned from a walk in a terrible passion and uttering the most violent exclamations.

One morning, Azora came back from a walk in a furious mood, shouting the most intense exclamations.

"What aileth thee," said he, "my dear spouse? What is it that can thus have disturbed thee?"

"What’s bothering you," he said, "my dear spouse? What’s made you so upset?"

"Alas!" said she, "thou wouldst have been as much enraged as I am, hadst thou seen what I have just beheld. I have been to comfort the young widow Cosrou, who, within these two days, hath raised a tomb to her young husband, near the rivulet that washes the skirts of this meadow. She vowed to heaven, in the bitterness of her grief, to remain at this tomb whilst the water of the rivulet should continue to run near it."

"Alas!" she said, "you would have been just as angry as I am if you had seen what I just witnessed. I went to comfort the young widow Cosrou, who, in the past two days, has built a tomb for her young husband near the stream that flows along the edge of this meadow. In her deep sorrow, she vowed to stay at this tomb as long as the water of the stream continues to flow nearby."

"Well," said Zadig, "she is an excellent woman, and loved her husband with the most sincere affection."

"Well," said Zadig, "she's a wonderful woman and loved her husband with the deepest sincerity."

"Ah!" replied Azora, "didst thou but know in what she was employed when I went to wait upon her!"

"Ah!" replied Azora, "if only you knew what she was up to when I went to see her!"

"In what, pray tell me, beautiful Azora? Was she turning the course of the rivulet?"

"In what, please tell me, beautiful Azora? Was she changing the path of the stream?"

Azora broke out into such long invectives, and loaded the young widow with such bitter reproaches, that Zadig was far from being pleased with this ostentation of virtue.

Azora launched into long rants and showered the young widow with harsh accusations, leaving Zadig far from impressed by this display of righteousness.

Zadig had a friend named Cador; one of those young men in whom his wife discovered more probity and merit than in others. He made him his confidant, and secured his fidelity as much as possible by a considerable present. Azora, having passed two days with a friend in the country, returned home on the third. The servants told her, with tears in their eyes, that her husband died suddenly the night before; that they were afraid to send her an account of this mournful event; and that they had just been depositing his corpse in the tomb of his ancestors, at the end of the garden. She wept, she tore her hair, and swore she would follow him to the grave. In the evening, Cador begged leave to wait upon her, and joined his tears with hers. Next day they wept less, and dined together. Cador told her, that his friend had left him the greater part of his estate; and that he should think himself extremely happy in sharing his fortune with her. The lady wept, fell into a passion, and at last became more mild and gentle. They sat longer at supper than at dinner. They now talked with greater confidence. Azora praised the deceased; but owned that he had many failings from which Cador was free.

Zadig had a friend named Cador, one of those young men whom his wife found to be more trustworthy and deserving than others. He made Cador his confidant and secured his loyalty as much as he could with a generous gift. After spending two days with a friend in the countryside, Azora returned home on the third day. The servants, with tears in their eyes, told her that her husband had died suddenly the night before, that they were too afraid to tell her about this sad news, and that they had just laid his body to rest in the family tomb at the back of the garden. She cried, tore her hair, and swore she would follow him to the grave. In the evening, Cador asked if he could visit her and joined his tears with hers. The next day, they cried less and had dinner together. Cador told her that his friend had left him most of his estate and that he would be extremely happy to share his fortune with her. The lady cried, got upset, and eventually became calmer and gentler. They lingered at supper longer than they had at dinner. They now spoke with more confidence. Azora praised the deceased but acknowledged that he had many flaws that Cador did not have.

During supper, Cador complained of a violent pain in his side. The lady, greatly concerned, and eager to serve him, caused all kinds of essences to be brought, with which she anointed him, to try if some of them might not possibly ease him of his pain. She lamented that the great Hermes was not still in Babylon. She even condescended to touch the side in which Cador felt such exquisite pain.

During dinner, Cador complained of severe pain in his side. The lady, very worried and eager to help him, had all sorts of remedies brought in, which she rubbed on him to see if any of them could relieve his pain. She expressed regret that the great Hermes was no longer in Babylon. She even went as far as to touch the side where Cador was feeling such intense pain.

"Art thou subject to this cruel disorder?" said she to him, with a compassionate air.

"Are you affected by this cruel disorder?" she asked him, with a sympathetic expression.

"It sometimes brings me," replied Cador, "to the brink of the grave; and there is but one remedy that can give me relief—and that is, to apply to my side the nose of a man who is lately dead."

"It sometimes brings me," replied Cador, "to the edge of death; and there is only one solution that can give me relief—and that is to press the nose of a recently deceased man to my side."

"A strange remedy, indeed!" said Azora.

"A strange remedy, for sure!" said Azora.

"Not more strange," replied he, "than the satchels of Arnou, against the apoplexy."

"Not any stranger," he replied, "than Arnou's bags for treating apoplexy."

This reason, added to the great merit of the young man, at last determined the lady.

This reason, combined with the young man's great qualities, finally convinced the lady.

"After all," says she, "when my husband shall cross the bridge Tchinavar in his journey to the other world, the angel Asrael will not refuse him a passage because his nose is a little shorter in the second life than it was in the first."

"After all," she says, "when my husband crosses the Tchinavar bridge on his journey to the afterlife, the angel Asrael won't deny him passage just because his nose is a bit shorter in the second life than it was in the first."

She then took a razor, went to her husband's tomb, bedewed it with her tears, and drew near to cut off the nose of Zadig, whom she found extended at full length in the tomb. Zadig arose, holding his nose with one hand, and putting back the razor with the other.

She then picked up a razor, went to her husband's grave, cried on it, and approached to cut off the nose of Zadig, whom she found lying flat in the tomb. Zadig got up, holding his nose with one hand and putting the razor away with the other.

"Madam," said he, "don't exclaim so violently against the widow Cosrou. The project of cutting off my nose is equal to that of turning the course of a rivulet."

"Ma'am," he said, "please don’t react so harshly about the widow Cosrou. The idea of cutting off my nose is just as unrealistic as trying to change the flow of a stream."


III.

The Dog and the Horse.

Zadig found by experience, that the first month of marriage, as it is written in the book of Zend, is the moon of honey, and that the second is the moon of wormwood. He was some time after obliged to repudiate Azora, who became too difficult to be pleased; and he then sought for happiness in the study of nature.

Zadig learned from experience that the first month of marriage, as mentioned in the book of Zend, is the honeymoon phase, and the second is the phase of bitterness. After a while, he had to separate from Azora, who became too hard to satisfy; he then looked for happiness in studying nature.

"No man," said he, "can be happier than a philosopher, who reads in this great book, which God hath placed before our eyes. The truths he discovers are his own; he nourishes and exalts his soul; he lives in peace; he fears nothing from men; and his tender spouse will not come to cut off his nose."

"Nobody," he said, "can be happier than a philosopher who reads from this great book that God has set before us. The truths he uncovers belong to him; he feeds and uplifts his soul; he lives peacefully; he has no fear of people; and his loving partner won't come to ruin his life."

Possessed of these ideas, he retired to a country house on the banks of the Euphrates. There he did not employ himself in calculating how many inches of water flow in a second of time under the arches of a bridge, or whether there fell a cube-line of rain in the month of the mouse more than in the month of the sheep. He never dreamed of making silk of cobwebs, or porcelain of broken bottles: but he chiefly studied the properties of plants and animals; and soon acquired a sagacity that made him discover a thousand differences where other men see nothing but uniformity.

Possessing these ideas, he withdrew to a country house on the banks of the Euphrates. There, he didn’t spend his time calculating how many inches of water flowed per second under a bridge, or whether a cubic line of rain fell in the month of the mouse compared to the month of the sheep. He never entertained the notion of making silk from cobwebs or porcelain from broken bottles; instead, he primarily focused on studying the properties of plants and animals, and soon gained a keen insight that allowed him to notice a thousand differences where others saw only uniformity.

One day, as he was walking near a little wood, he saw one of the queen's eunuchs running toward him, followed by several officers, who appeared to be in great perplexity, and who ran to and fro like men distracted, eagerly searching for something they had lost of great value.

One day, while he was walking near a small woods, he saw one of the queen's eunuchs rushing toward him, followed by several officers who looked really confused and ran around like people in a frenzy, desperately searching for something very valuable that they had lost.

"Young man," said the first eunuch, "hast thou seen the queen's dog?"

"Hey, young man," said the first eunuch, "have you seen the queen's dog?"

"It is a bitch," replied Zadig, with great modesty, "and not a dog."

"It’s a female dog," replied Zadig, with great modesty, "and not a male dog."

"Thou art in the right," returned the first eunuch.

"You’re right," replied the first eunuch.

"It is a very small she-spaniel," added Zadig; "she has lately whelped; she limps on the left fore-foot, and has very long ears."

"It’s a really small female spaniel," added Zadig; "she just had puppies; she limps on her left front leg, and her ears are very long."

"Thou hast seen her," said the first eunuch, quite out of breath.

"You've seen her," said the first eunuch, panting.

"No," replied Zadig, "I have not seen her, nor did I so much as know that the queen had a bitch."

"No," replied Zadig, "I haven't seen her, and I didn't even know the queen had a dog."

Exactly at the same time, by one of the common freaks of fortune, the finest horse in the king's stable had escaped from the jockey in the plains of Babylon. The principal huntsman, and all the other officers, ran after him with as much eagerness and anxiety as the first eunuch had done after the bitch. The principal huntsman addressed himself to Zadig, and asked him if he had not seen the king's horse passing by.

Exactly at the same time, in one of those typical twists of fate, the best horse in the king's stable broke free from the jockey in the plains of Babylon. The chief huntsman and all the other officials chased after him with the same eagerness and concern as the first eunuch had done after the dog. The chief huntsman turned to Zadig and asked if he had seen the king's horse go by.

"He is the fleetest horse in the king's stable," replied Zadig, "he is five feet high, with very small hoofs, and a tail three feet and an half in length; the studs on his bit are gold, of twenty-three carats, and his shoes are silver of eleven penny-weights."

"He’s the fastest horse in the king's stable," Zadig replied, "he's five feet tall, with really small hooves, and a tail that's three and a half feet long; the studs on his bit are gold, at twenty-three carats, and his shoes are silver weighing eleven pennyweights."

"What way did he take? where is he?" demanded the chief huntsman.

"What way did he go? Where is he?" asked the chief huntsman.

"I have not seen him," replied Zadig, "and never heard talk of him before."

"I haven't seen him," Zadig replied, "and I've never heard anyone mention him before."

The principal huntsman and the first eunuch never doubted but that Zadig had stolen the king's horse and the queen's bitch. They therefore had him conducted before the assembly of the grand desterham, who condemned him to the knout, and to spend the rest of his days in Siberia. Hardly was the sentence passed, when the horse and the bitch were both found. The judges were reduced to the disagreeable necessity of reversing their sentence; but they condemned Zadig to pay four hundred ounces of gold for having said that he had not seen what he had seen. This fine he was obliged to pay; after which, he was permitted to plead his cause before the counsel of the grand desterham, when he spoke to the following effect.

The chief huntsman and the first eunuch were completely convinced that Zadig had stolen the king's horse and the queen's dog. They had him brought before the assembly of the grand desterham, who sentenced him to be whipped and to spend the rest of his days in Siberia. Just after the sentence was given, the horse and the dog were both discovered. The judges then faced the unpleasant task of reversing their decision; however, they imposed a fine of four hundred ounces of gold on Zadig for claiming he hadn’t seen what he actually had seen. He had to pay this fine, after which he was allowed to present his case before the counsel of the grand desterham, where he spoke along these lines.

"Ye stars of justice, abyss of sciences, mirrors of truth, who have the weight of lead, the hardness of iron, the splendor of the diamond, and many of the properties of gold; since I am permitted to speak before this august assembly, I swear to you by Oromazes, that I have never seen the queen's respectable bitch, nor the sacred horse of the king of kings. The truth of the matter is as follows: I was walking toward the little wood, where I afterward met the venerable eunuch, and the most illustrious chief huntsman. I observed on the sand the traces of an animal, and could easily perceive them to be those of a little dog. The light and long furrows impressed on little eminences of sand between the marks of the paws, plainly discovered that it was a bitch, whose dugs were hanging down, and that therefore she must have whelped a few days before. Other traces of a different kind, that always appeared to have gently brushed the surface of the sand near the marks of the fore-feet, showed me that she had very long ears; and as I remarked that there was always a slighter impression made on the sand by one foot than by the other three, I found that the bitch of our august queen was a little lame, if I may be allowed the expression. With regard to the horse of the king of kings, you will be pleased to know, that walking in the lanes of this wood, I observed the marks of a horse's shoes, all at equal distances. This must be a horse, said I to myself, that gallops excellently. The dust on the trees in a narrow road that was but seven feet wide, was a little brushed off, at the distance of three feet and a half from the middle of the road. This horse, said I, has a tail three feet and a half long, which, being whisked to the right and left, has swept away the dust. I observed under the trees that formed an arbor five feet in height, that the leaves of the branches were newly fallen, from whence I inferred that the horse had touched them, and that he must therefore be five feet high. As to his bit, it must be gold of twenty-three carats, for he had rubbed its bosses against a stone which I knew to be a touchstone, and which I have tried. In a word, from a mark made by his shoes on flints of another kind, I concluded that he was shod with silver eleven deniers fine."

"Stars of justice, deep thinkers, mirrors of truth, who carry the weight of lead, the toughness of iron, the brilliance of diamonds, and many qualities of gold; since I can speak before this esteemed group, I swear to you by Oromazes that I have never seen the queen's respected female dog or the sacred horse of the king of kings. Here’s the truth: I was walking toward the small woods, where I later encountered the venerable eunuch and the most distinguished chief huntsman. I noticed tracks in the sand that clearly belonged to a small dog. The light, deep impressions left on little mounds of sand between the paw prints clearly indicated it was a female dog with hanging teats, which meant she had given birth a few days ago. Other tracks, which seemed to have gently brushed the sand near the front foot marks, showed me that she had very long ears. And I noticed that one of her footprints made a lighter impression in the sand compared to the other three, which suggested that the queen's female dog was a little lame, if I can say it that way. As for the horse of the king of kings, let me share that while walking through the lanes of this wood, I spotted the marks of horse shoes, all evenly spaced. I thought to myself, this must be a horse that gallops exceptionally well. The dust on the trees along a narrow path, just seven feet wide, was slightly disturbed about three and a half feet from the center of the path. This horse, I concluded, has a tail three and a half feet long, which must have swept the dust as it moved to the right and left. Under the trees creating a shelter five feet high, I saw that the leaves were freshly fallen, leading me to infer that the horse had brushed against them, meaning it must be five feet tall. Regarding its bit, it must be 23-carat gold since it had rubbed its bosses against a stone I recognize as a touchstone, which I've tested. In summary, based on a mark made by its shoes on another type of flint, I concluded that it was shod with silver of eleven deniers fine."

All the judges admired Zadig for his acute and profound discernment. The news of this speech was carried even to the king and queen. Nothing was talked of but Zadig in the anti-chambers, the chambers, and the cabinet; and though many of the magi were of opinion that he ought to be burnt as a sorcerer, the king ordered his officers to restore him the four hundred ounces of gold which he had been obliged to pay. The register, the attorneys, and bailiffs, went to his house with great formality to carry him back his four hundred ounces. They only retained three hundred and ninety-eight of them to defray the expenses of justice; and then their servants demanded their fees.

All the judges admired Zadig for his sharp and deep insight. News of this speech reached even the king and queen. Everyone was talking about Zadig in the waiting rooms, the chambers, and the cabinet; and while many of the magi thought he should be executed as a sorcerer, the king instructed his officers to return the four hundred ounces of gold he had been forced to pay. The register, the lawyers, and the bailiffs went to his house with great formality to give him back his four hundred ounces. They only kept three hundred and ninety-eight of them to cover the costs of justice; then their servants asked for their fees.

Zadig saw how extremely dangerous it sometimes is to appear too knowing, and therefore resolved, that on the next occasion of the like nature he would not tell what he had seen.

Zadig realized how risky it can be to seem too smart, so he decided that next time something similar happened, he wouldn't reveal what he had witnessed.

Such an opportunity soon offered. A prisoner of state made his escape and passed under the windows of Zadig's house. Zadig was examined and made no answer. But it was proved that he had looked at the prisoner from this window. For this crime he was condemned to pay five hundred ounces of gold; and, according to the polite custom of Babylon, he thanked his judges for their indulgence.

Such an opportunity soon presented itself. A political prisoner escaped and passed by the windows of Zadig's house. Zadig was questioned but remained silent. However, it was established that he had looked at the prisoner from that window. For this offense, he was sentenced to pay five hundred ounces of gold; and, following the polite custom of Babylon, he thanked his judges for their leniency.

"Great God!" said he to himself, "what a misfortune it is to walk in a wood through which the queen's bitch or the king's horse have passed! how dangerous to look out at a window! and how difficult to be happy in this life!"

"Great God!" he said to himself, "what a disaster it is to walk in a woods where the queen's dog or the king's horse have been! How risky it is to look out a window! And how hard it is to be happy in this life!"


IV.

THE JEALOUS MAN.

Zadig resolved to comfort himself by philosophy and friendship for the evils he had suffered from fortune. He had in the suburbs of Babylon a house elegantly furnished, in which he assembled all the arts and all the pleasures worthy the pursuit of a gentleman. In the morning his library was open to the learned. In the evening his table was surrounded by good company. But he soon found what very dangerous guests these men of letters are. A warm dispute arose on one of Zoroaster's laws, which forbids the eating of a griffin.

Zadig decided to find comfort in philosophy and friendship to cope with the misfortunes he had faced. He owned a beautifully furnished house in the suburbs of Babylon, where he gathered all the arts and pleasures worthy of a gentleman’s pursuit. In the morning, his library welcomed the learned, and in the evening, his table was filled with great company. However, he quickly realized how troublesome these intellectuals could be. A heated argument broke out over one of Zoroaster's laws that prohibits eating a griffin.

"Why," said some of them, "prohibit the eating of a griffin, if there is no such animal in nature?"

"Why," some of them said, "forbid eating a griffin if there's no such animal in real life?"

"There must necessarily be such an animal," said the others, "since Zoroaster forbids us to eat it."

"There has to be such an animal," said the others, "since Zoroaster tells us not to eat it."

Zadig would fain have reconciled them by saying:

Zadig would gladly have brought them back together by saying:

"If there are no griffins, we cannot possibly eat them; and thus either way we shall obey Zoroaster."

"If there are no griffins, we can't possibly eat them; so either way, we'll follow Zoroaster."

A learned man, who had composed thirteen volumes on the properties of the griffin, and was besides the chief theurgite, hasted away to accuse Zadig before one of the principal magi, named Yebor, the greatest blockhead, and therefore the greatest fanatic among the Chaldeans. This man would have empaled Zadig to do honor to the sun, and would then have recited the breviary of Zoroaster with greater satisfaction. The friend Cador (a friend is better than a hundred priests) went to Yebor, and said to him:

A learned man who had written thirteen volumes on the traits of the griffin, and was also the top theurgist, rushed off to accuse Zadig to one of the main magi named Yebor, who was the biggest fool and therefore the biggest fanatic among the Chaldeans. This guy would have impaled Zadig to honor the sun and would then have recited Zoroaster's breviary with even more satisfaction. The friend Cador (a friend is worth more than a hundred priests) went to Yebor and said to him:

"Long live the sun and the griffins; beware of punishing Zadig; he is a saint; he has griffins in his inner court, and does not eat them; and his accuser is an heretic, who dares to maintain that rabbits have cloven feet, and are not unclean."

"Long live the sun and the griffins; be careful about punishing Zadig; he’s a saint; he has griffins in his inner court and doesn’t eat them; and his accuser is a heretic who dares to claim that rabbits have split hooves and aren’t unclean."

"Well," said Yebor, shaking his bald pate, "we must empale Zadig for having thought contemptuously of griffins, and the other party for having spoken disrespectfully of rabbits."

"Well," said Yebor, shaking his bald head, "we need to punish Zadig for thinking poorly of griffins, and the other group for speaking disrespectfully about rabbits."

Cador hushed up the affair by appealing to a person who had great interest in the college of the magi. Nobody was empaled. This lenity occasioned a great murmuring among some of the doctors, who from thence predicted the fall of Babylon.

Cador quieted the situation by reaching out to someone who had a strong interest in the college of the magi. No one was harmed. This leniency caused a lot of complaints among some of the doctors, who then predicted the downfall of Babylon.

"Upon what does happiness depend?" said Zadig; "I am persecuted by everything in the world, even on account of beings that have no existence."

"On what does happiness depend?" Zadig asked. "I'm tormented by everything in the world, even by things that don't even exist."

He cursed those men of learning, and resolved for the future to live with none but good company.

He cursed those educated men and decided from then on to surround himself only with good people.

He assembled at his house the most worthy men, and the most beautiful ladies of Babylon. He gave them delicious suppers, often preceded by concerts of music, and always animated by polite conversation, from which he knew how to banish that affectation of wit, which is the surest method of preventing it entirely, and of spoiling the pleasure of the most agreeable society. Neither the choice of his friends, nor that of the dishes, was made by vanity; for in everything he preferred the substance to the shadow; and by these means he procured that real respect to which he did not aspire.

He gathered at his house the most distinguished men and the most beautiful women of Babylon. He treated them to delicious dinners, often starting with musical performances, and always filled with polite conversation, from which he skillfully removed that pretentious humor that usually ruins the enjoyment of the most pleasant company. Neither his choice of friends nor the selection of dishes was driven by vanity; for in all things, he valued substance over appearance, and through this approach, he earned the genuine respect he didn’t seek.

Opposite to his house lived one Arimazes, a man whose deformed countenance was but a faint picture of his still more deformed mind. His heart was a mixture of malice, pride, and envy. Having never been able to succeed in any of his undertakings, he revenged himself on all around him, by loading them with the blackest calumnies. Rich as he was, he found it difficult to procure a set of flatterers. The rattling of the chariots that entered Zadig's court in the evening, filled him with uneasiness; the sound of his praises enraged him still more. He sometimes went to Zadig's house, and sat down at table without being desired; where he spoiled all the pleasure of the company, as the harpies are said to infect the viands they touch.

Across from his house lived a man named Arimazes, whose deformed face was just a shadow of his even more twisted mind. His heart was filled with malice, pride, and envy. Having never succeeded in any of his efforts, he took revenge on everyone around him by slandering them with the worst rumors. Despite being wealthy, he struggled to find a group of flatterers. The sound of carriages entering Zadig's courtyard in the evening made him anxious; hearing praises directed at Zadig only made him angrier. Sometimes, he would go to Zadig's house and sit at the table uninvited, ruining the joy of the gathering, much like the harpies are said to spoil the food they touch.

It happened that one day he took it in his head to give an entertainment to a lady, who, instead of accepting it, went to sup with Zadig. At another time, as he was talking with Zadig at court, a minister of state came up to them, and invited Zadig to supper, without inviting Arimazes. The most implacable hatred has seldom a more solid foundation. This man, who in Babylon was called the envious, resolved to ruin Zadig, because he was called the happy. "The opportunity of doing mischief occurs a hundred times in a day, and that of doing good but once a year, as sayeth the wise Zoroaster."

One day, he decided to throw a party for a lady, but instead of accepting, she chose to have dinner with Zadig. Later, while he was chatting with Zadig at court, a government minister came over and invited Zadig to dinner, leaving Arimazes out. The most intense hatred often has a very solid basis. This man, known as the envious in Babylon, was set on ruining Zadig because he was seen as the happy. "The chance to do harm comes up a hundred times a day, while the chance to do good happens only once a year, as the wise Zoroaster says."

The envious man went to see Zadig, who was walking in his garden with two friends and a lady, to whom he said many gallant things, without any other intention than that of saying them. The conversation turned upon a war which the king had just brought to a happy conclusion against the prince of Hircania, his vassal. Zadig, who had signalized his courage in this short war, bestowed great praises on the king, but greater still on the lady. He took out his pocket-book, and wrote four lines extempore, which he gave to this amiable person to read. His friends begged they might see them; but modesty, or rather a well-regulated self-love, would not allow him to grant their request. He knew that extemporary verses are never approved by any but by the person in whose honor they are written. He therefore tore in two the leaf on which he had written them, and threw both the pieces into a thicket of rose bushes where the rest of the company sought for them in vain. A slight shower falling soon after, obliged them to return to the house.

The jealous man went to see Zadig, who was walking in his garden with two friends and a woman to whom he was saying many flattering things, with no other intention than to say them. The conversation shifted to a war the king had just successfully wrapped up against the prince of Hircania, his vassal. Zadig, who had distinguished himself for his bravery in this brief conflict, praised the king highly, but praised the lady even more. He took out his notebook and wrote four lines on the spot, which he handed to this charming person to read. His friends asked to see them, but modesty, or rather a healthy sense of self-respect, prevented him from agreeing to their request. He knew that spontaneous verses are only appreciated by the person they are written for. Therefore, he tore the page on which he had written them in half and tossed both pieces into a cluster of rose bushes, where the rest of the group searched for them in vain. A light rain shortly after forced them to head back to the house.

The envious man, who remained in the garden, continued to search, till at last he found a piece of the leaf. It had been torn in such a manner, that each half of a line formed a complete sense, and even a verse of a shorter measure; but what was still more surprising, these short verses were found to contain the most injurious reflections on the king. They ran thus:

The envious man, who stayed in the garden, kept looking until he finally found a piece of the leaf. It had been torn in such a way that each half of a line made complete sense, and even formed a short verse; but what was even more surprising was that these short verses contained the most damaging comments about the king. They went like this:

To flagrant crimes
His crown he owes,
To peaceful times
The worst of foes.

For serious crimes
He owes his throne,
To soothe days
The biggest enemies.

The envious man was now happy for the first time in his life. He had it in his power to ruin a person of virtue and merit. Killed with this fiend-like joy, he found means to convey to the king the satire written by the hand of Zadig, who was immediately thrown into prison, together with the lady and Zadig's two friends.

The envious man was finally happy for the first time in his life. He had the power to ruin a virtuous and deserving person. Consumed by this wicked joy, he figured out how to deliver to the king the satire written by Zadig, who was immediately thrown into prison, along with the lady and Zadig's two friends.

His trial was soon finished without his being permitted to speak for himself. As he was going to receive his sentence, the envious man threw himself in his way, and told him with a loud voice, that his verses were good for nothing. Zadig did not value himself on being a good poet; but it filled him with inexpressible concern to find that he was condemned for high treason; and that the fair lady and his two friends were confined in prison for a crime of which they were not guilty. He was not allowed to speak, because his writing spoke for him. Such was the law of Babylon. Accordingly he was conducted to the place of execution through an immense crowd of spectators, who durst not venture to express their pity for him, but who carefully examined his countenance to see if he died with a good grace. His relations alone were inconsolable; for they could not succeed to his estate. Three-fourths of his wealth were confiscated into the king's treasury, and the other fourth was given to the envious man.

His trial wrapped up quickly, and he wasn’t allowed to speak for himself. Just before his sentence was announced, a jealous man stepped in his way and loudly proclaimed that his poetry was worthless. Zadig didn’t pride himself on being a great poet, but it deeply troubled him to learn that he was condemned for treason and that the beautiful lady and his two friends were imprisoned for a crime they didn’t commit. He couldn’t speak up because his writing did the talking for him. That was the law in Babylon. He was led to the execution site through a massive crowd of onlookers, who were too afraid to show their sympathy but scrutinized his face to see if he faced death with dignity. Only his family was distraught, as they wouldn’t inherit his wealth. Three-fourths of his fortune was seized by the king, while the remaining quarter went to the envious man.

Just as he was preparing for death, the king's parrot flew from its cage, and alighted on a rose bush in Zadig's garden. A peach had been driven thither by the wind from a neighboring tree, and had fallen on a piece of the written leaf of the pocket-book to which it stuck. The bird carried off the peach and the paper, and laid them on the king's knee. The king took up the paper with great eagerness, and read the words, which formed no sense, and seemed to be the endings of verses. He loved poetry; and there is always some mercy to be expected from a prince of that disposition. The adventure of the parrot caused him to reflect.

Just as he was getting ready to die, the king's parrot flew out of its cage and landed on a rose bush in Zadig's garden. A peach had been blown over by the wind from a nearby tree and had fallen onto a piece of the written leaf from the pocketbook, sticking to it. The bird picked up the peach and the paper and dropped them on the king's lap. The king eagerly picked up the paper and read the words, which made no sense and seemed to be the ends of verses. He loved poetry, and there's always some kindness to be expected from a prince like that. The parrot's adventure made him think.

The queen, who remembered what had been written on the piece of Zadig's pocket-book, ordered it to be brought. They compared the two pieces together, and found them to tally exactly. They then read the verses as Zadig had written them.

The queen, recalling what was written in Zadig's pocket-book, ordered it to be brought to her. They compared the two pieces and found them to match perfectly. Then, they read the verses as Zadig had written them.

Tyrants are prone to flagrant crimes;
To clemency his crown he owes;
To concord and to peaceful times
Love only is the worst of foes.

Tyrants are prone to committing obvious crimes;
He owes his crown to kindness;
To harmony and peaceful days,
Love can often be the greatest enemy.

The king gave immediate orders that Zadig should be brought before him, and that his two friends and the lady should be set at liberty. Zadig fell prostrate on the ground before the king and queen, humbly begged their pardon for having made such bad verses, and spoke with so much propriety, wit, and good sense, that their majesties desired they might see him again. He did himself that honor, and insinuated himself still farther into their good graces. They gave him all the wealth of the envious man; but Zadig restored him back the whole of it; and this instance of generosity gave no other pleasure to the envious man than that of having preserved his estate. The king's esteem for Zadig increased every day. He admitted him into all his parties of pleasure, and consulted him in all affairs of state. From that time the queen began to regard him with an eye of tenderness, that might one day prove dangerous to herself, to the king her august consort, to Zadig, and to the kingdom in general. Zadig now began to think that happiness was not so unattainable as he had formerly imagined.

The king immediately ordered that Zadig be brought before him, and that his two friends and the lady be released. Zadig fell down on the ground before the king and queen, humbly apologized for having written such terrible verses, and spoke with so much propriety, wit, and common sense that their majesties wanted to see him again. He honored that request and ingratiated himself further with them. They gave him all the wealth of the envious man, but Zadig returned all of it, which only pleased the envious man in that he was able to keep his fortune. The king’s respect for Zadig grew each day. He included him in all his gatherings for fun and sought his advice on all matters of state. From that time on, the queen began to look at him with a tenderness that could prove dangerous for herself, for the king, for Zadig, and for the kingdom as a whole. Zadig now started to believe that happiness wasn’t as unattainable as he once thought.


V.

THE KIND.

The time had now arrived for celebrating a grand festival, which returned every five years. It was a custom in Babylon solemnly to declare, at the end of every five years, which of the citizens had performed the most generous action. The grandees and the magi were the judges. The first satrap, who was charged with the government of the city, published the most noble actions that had passed under his administration. The competition was decided by votes; and the king pronounced the sentence. People came to this solemnity from the extremities of the earth. The conqueror received from the monarch's hands a golden cup adorned with precious stones, his majesty at the same time making him this compliment: "Receive this reward of thy generosity, and may the gods grant me many subjects like to thee."

The time had come to celebrate a grand festival that happened every five years. In Babylon, it was tradition to announce, at the end of each five-year period, which citizen had performed the most generous act. The nobles and the priests served as judges. The top official, responsible for governing the city, would present the most outstanding actions that occurred under his leadership. The winner was chosen through a voting process, and the king made the final decision. People traveled from all over the world to attend this event. The winner received a golden cup decorated with precious stones from the king, who complimented them by saying, "Accept this reward for your generosity, and may the gods bless me with many subjects like you."

This memorable day having come, the king appeared on his throne, surrounded by the grandees, the magi, and the deputies of all the nations that came to these games, where glory was acquired not by the swiftness of horses, nor by strength of body, but by virtue. The first satrap recited, with an audible voice, such actions as might entitle the authors of them to this invaluable prize. He did not mention the greatness of soul with which Zadig had restored the envious man his fortune, because it was not judged to be an action worthy of disputing the prize.

This memorable day arrived, and the king appeared on his throne, surrounded by the dignitaries, the wise men, and representatives from all the nations that came for these games, where glory was earned not by fast horses or strong bodies, but by virtue. The first satrap spoke loudly, recounting deeds that could qualify their authors for this priceless prize. He didn’t mention the nobility of spirit with which Zadig had restored the envious man’s fortune, as it was deemed not worthy of competing for the prize.

He first presented a judge, who having made a citizen lose a considerable cause by a mistake, for which, after all, he was not accountable, had given him the whole of his own estate, which was just equal to what the other had lost.

He first brought up a judge, who had caused a citizen to lose a significant case due to a mistake that he wasn't responsible for. As a result, the judge had given away all of his own estate, which was exactly equal to what the other person had lost.

He next produced a young man, who being desperately in love with a lady whom he was going to marry, had yielded her up to his friend, whose passion for her had almost brought him to the brink of the grave, and at the same time had given him the lady's fortune.

He then brought out a young man who, madly in love with a woman he was about to marry, had given her up to his friend, whose infatuation for her had nearly driven him to despair and, at the same time, had secured him the woman’s fortune.

He afterwards produced a soldier, who, in the wars of Hircania, had given a still more noble instance of generosity. A party of the enemy having seized his mistress, he fought in her defence with great intrepidity. At that very instant he was informed that another party, at the distance of a few paces, were carrying off his mother; he therefore left his mistress with tears in his eyes, and flew to the assistance of his mother. At last he returned to the dear object of his love, and found her expiring. He was just going to plunge his sword in his own bosom; but his mother remonstrating against such a desperate deed, and telling him that he was the only support of her life, he had the courage to endure to live.

He later brought forward a soldier who, during the wars in Hircania, demonstrated an even greater act of bravery. When a group of enemies captured his girlfriend, he fought valiantly to rescue her. At that very moment, he learned that another group was taking his mother just a few steps away. With tears in his eyes, he left his girlfriend and rushed to save his mother. Finally, he returned to his beloved, only to find her dying. He was about to stab himself with his sword, but his mother urged him against such a desperate act, reminding him that he was her only hope for survival. He found the strength to keep living.

The judges were inclined to give the prize to the soldier. But the king took up the discourse, and said:

The judges were leaning towards awarding the prize to the soldier. But the king interjected and said:

"The action of the soldier, and those of the other two, are doubtless very great, but they have nothing in them surprising. Yesterday, Zadig performed an action that filled me with wonder. I had a few days before disgraced Coreb, my minister and favorite. I complained of him in the most violent and bitter terms; all my courtiers assured me that I was too gentle, and seemed to vie with each other in speaking ill of Coreb. I asked Zadig what he thought of him, and he had the courage to commend him. I have read in our histories of many people who have atoned for an error by the surrender of their fortune; who have resigned a mistress; or preferred a mother to the object of their affection, but never before did I hear of a courtier who spoke favorably of a disgraced minister, that labored under the displeasure of his sovereign. I give to each of those whose generous actions have been now recited, twenty thousand pieces of gold; but the cup I give to Zadig."

"The actions of the soldier and the other two are certainly impressive, but they aren't surprising. Yesterday, Zadig did something that truly amazed me. A few days ago, I had disgraced Coreb, my minister and favorite. I spoke about him in the harshest and most bitter terms; all my courtiers insisted that I was being too lenient and seemed to compete in criticizing Coreb. I asked Zadig what he thought of him, and he bravely praised him. I've read in our histories about many people who have made up for a mistake by giving up their wealth, who have let go of a lover, or chosen their mother over their beloved, but I'd never heard of a courtier who spoke positively about a disgraced minister who was under the disfavor of his king. I'm giving twenty thousand gold pieces to each of those whose noble actions have been mentioned, but the cup I give to Zadig."

"May it please your majesty," said Zadig, "thyself alone deservest the cup. Thou hast performed an action of all others the most uncommon and meritorious, since, notwithstanding thy being a powerful king, thou wast not offended at thy slave, when he presumed to oppose thy passion."

"May it please your majesty," said Zadig, "you alone deserve the cup. You have done something incredibly rare and commendable, as, despite being a powerful king, you were not angered with your servant when he dared to oppose your desires."

The king and Zadig were equally the object of admiration. The judge who had given his estate to his client; the lover who had resigned his mistress to his friend, and the soldier, who had preferred the safety of his mother to that of his mistress, received the king's presents, and saw their names enrolled in the catalogue of generous men. Zadig had the cup, and the king acquired the reputation of a good prince, which he did not long enjoy. The day was celebrated by feasts that lasted longer than the law enjoined; and the memory of it is still preserved in Asia. Zadig said: "Now I am happy at last." But he found himself fatally deceived.

The king and Zadig both earned admiration. The judge who had given up his own land for his client; the lover who let his friend have his mistress; and the soldier who chose his mother’s safety over his mistress’s, were all rewarded by the king and had their names listed among the great men. Zadig received the cup, and the king gained a reputation as a good ruler, though it didn’t last long. The day was celebrated with feasts that went on longer than the law allowed, and its memory is still remembered in Asia. Zadig said, “Now I’m finally happy.” But he soon found out he had been gravely mistaken.


VI.

THE MINISTER.

The king had lost his first minister, and chose Zadig to supply his place. All the ladies in Babylon applauded the choice; for, since the foundation of the empire, there had never been such a young minister. But all the courtiers were filled with jealousy and vexation. The envious man, in particular, was troubled with a spitting of blood, and a prodigious inflammation in his nose. Zadig, having thanked the king and queen for their goodness, went likewise to thank the parrot.

The king had lost his chief advisor and chose Zadig to fill the position. All the ladies in Babylon praised the decision; since the empire's inception, there had never been such a young minister. But all the courtiers were consumed with jealousy and frustration. The envious one, in particular, suffered from a bloody cough and a terrible inflammation in his nose. After thanking the king and queen for their kindness, Zadig also went to thank the parrot.

"Beautiful bird," said he, "tis thou that hast saved my life, and made me first minister. The queen's bitch and the king's horse did me a great deal of mischief; but thou hast done me much good. Upon such slender threads as these do the fates of mortals hang! but," added he, "this happiness perhaps will vanish very soon."

"Beautiful bird," he said, "it's you who's saved my life and made me the chief minister. The queen's dog and the king's horse caused me a lot of trouble, but you've done me a great service. It's remarkable how much the fates of humans depend on such fragile threads! But," he added, "this happiness may disappear very quickly."

THE CUP. The cup.—"May it please your majesty," said Zadig, "you alone deserve the cup."


"Soon," replied the parrot.

"Soon," the parrot replied.

Zadig was somewhat startled at this word. But as he was a good natural philosopher, and did not believe parrots to be prophets, he quickly recovered his spirits, and resolved to execute his duty to the best of his power.

Zadig was a bit surprised by this word. But since he was a good natural philosopher and didn’t believe parrots could predict the future, he quickly regained his composure and decided to fulfill his responsibilities to the best of his ability.

He made every one feel the sacred authority of the laws, but no one felt the weight of his dignity. He never checked the deliberations of the divan; and every vizier might give his opinion without fear of incurring the minister's displeasure. When he gave judgment, it was not he that gave it; it was the law; the rigor of which, however, whenever it was too severe, he always took care to soften; and when laws were wanting, the equity of his decisions was such as might easily have made them pass for those of Zoroaster.

He made everyone feel the sacred authority of the laws, but no one felt the burden of his dignity. He never interrupted the discussions of the council; every minister could share their opinion without worrying about upsetting him. When he delivered a judgment, it wasn’t him making it; it was the law. However, whenever the law was too harsh, he always made sure to ease it. And when there were no laws, the fairness of his decisions was such that it could easily have been mistaken for the judgments of Zoroaster.

It is to him that the nations are indebted for this grand principle, to wit, that it is better to run the risk of sparing the guilty than to condemn the innocent. He imagined that laws were made as well to secure the people from the suffering of injuries as to restrain them from the commission of crimes. His chief talent consisted in discovering the truth, which all men seek to obscure. This great talent he put in practice from the very beginning of his administration.

It is to him that the nations owe this important principle: that it's better to risk letting the guilty go free than to condemn the innocent. He believed that laws should be made not only to protect people from harm but also to keep them from committing crimes. His main skill was in uncovering the truth that everyone tries to hide. He started using this great skill from the very beginning of his leadership.

A famous merchant of Babylon, who died in the Indies, divided his estate equally between his two sons, after having disposed of their sister in marriage, and left a present of thirty thousand pieces of gold to that son who should be found to have loved him best. The eldest raised a tomb to his memory; the youngest increased his sister's portion, by giving her a part of his inheritance. Every one said that the eldest son loved his father best, and the youngest his sister; and that the thirty thousand pieces belonged to the eldest.

A well-known merchant from Babylon, who passed away in the Indies, divided his estate equally between his two sons after marrying off their sister, and left a gift of thirty thousand gold coins to the son who loved him the most. The eldest son built a tomb in his honor; the youngest increased his sister's dowry by giving her a portion of his inheritance. Everyone said that the eldest son loved his father the most, and the youngest cared more for his sister, and that the thirty thousand coins were meant for the eldest son.

Zadig sent for both of them, the one after the other. To the eldest he said:

Zadig called for both of them, one after the other. To the eldest he said:

"Thy father is not dead; but has survived his last illness, and is returning to Babylon."

"Your father is not dead; he has survived his last illness and is returning to Babylon."

"God be praised," replied the young man; "but his tomb cost me a considerable sum."

"Thank God," replied the young man; "but his grave cost me a significant amount."

Zadig afterwards repeated the same story to the youngest son.

Zadig then told the same story to the youngest son.

"God be praised," said he; "I will go and restore to my father all that I have; but I could wish that he would leave my sister what I have given her."

"Thank God," he said; "I will go and give my father back everything I have; but I wish he would leave my sister what I’ve given her."

"Thou shalt restore nothing," replied Zadig, "and thou shalt have the thirty thousand pieces, for thou art the son who loves his father best."

"You won't give anything back," replied Zadig, "and you will have the thirty thousand pieces, because you are the son who loves his father the most."

A widow, having a young son, and being possessed of a handsome fortune, had given a promise of marriage to two magi; who were both desirous of marrying her.

A widow with a young son and a nice fortune had promised to marry two magicians, both of whom wanted to marry her.

"I will take for my husband," said she, "the man who can give the best education to my beloved son."

"I will choose as my husband," she said, "the man who can provide the best education for my dear son."

The two magi contended who should bring him up, and the cause was carried before Zadig. Zadig summoned the two magi to attend him.

The two magi argued about who should raise him, and the issue was brought before Zadig. Zadig called the two magi to meet with him.

"What will you teach your pupil?" said he to the first.

"What are you going to teach your student?" he asked the first one.

"I will teach him," said the doctor, "the eight parts of speech, logic, astrology, pneumatics, what is meant by substance and accident, abstract and concrete, the doctrine of the monades, and the pre-established harmony."

"I will teach him," said the doctor, "the eight parts of speech, logic, astrology, pneumatics, what substance and accident mean, abstract and concrete concepts, the doctrine of monads, and the idea of pre-established harmony."

"For my part," said the second, "I will endeavor to give him a sense of justice, and to make him worthy the friendship of good men."

"For my part," said the second, "I will try to instill in him a sense of justice and to make him deserving of the friendship of good people."

Zadig then cried:

Zadig then shouted:

"Whether thou art the child's favorite or not, thou shalt have his mother."

"Whether you're the child's favorite or not, you'll have his mother."


VII.

THE ARGUMENTS AND THE AUDIENCES.

In this manner he daily discovered the subtlety of his genius and the goodness of his heart. The people at once admired and loved him. He passed for the happiest man in the world. The whole empire resounded with his name. All the ladies ogled him. All the men praised him for his justice. The learned regarded him as an oracle; and even the priests confessed that he knew more than the old arch-magi Yebor. They were now so far from prosecuting him on account of the griffins, that they believed nothing but what he thought credible.

In this way, he discovered every day the depth of his genius and the kindness of his heart. People admired and loved him at once. He was seen as the happiest man in the world. His name echoed throughout the entire empire. All the ladies stared at him. All the men praised him for his fairness. The scholars considered him an oracle; even the priests admitted that he knew more than the old arch-magi Yebor. They were now so far from pursuing him over the griffins that they believed nothing except what he deemed credible.

There had continued at Babylon, for the space of fifteen hundred years, a violent contest that had divided the empire into two sects. The one pretended that they ought to enter the temple of Mithra with the left foot foremost; the other held this custom in detestation, and always entered with the right foot first. The people waited with great impatience for the day on which the solemn feast of the sacred fire was to be celebrated, to see which sect Zadig would favor. All the world had their eyes fixed on his two feet, and the whole city was in the utmost suspense and perturbation. Zadig jumped into the temple with his feet joined together; and afterward proved, in an eloquent discourse, that the Sovereign of heaven and earth, who accepteth not the persons of men, maketh no distinction between the right and the left foot. The envious man and his wife alleged that his discourse was not figurative enough, and that he did not make the rocks and mountains dance with sufficient agility.

There had been an intense conflict in Babylon for fifteen hundred years, splitting the empire into two factions. One claimed they should enter the temple of Mithra with their left foot first, while the other despised this practice and always entered with their right foot first. The people were eagerly anticipating the day of the sacred fire festival to see which side Zadig would support. Everyone was fixated on his two feet, and the entire city was filled with anxiety and tension. Zadig entered the temple with his feet together, and then delivered a persuasive speech, arguing that the Sovereign of heaven and earth, who shows no favoritism, makes no distinction between the right and left foot. The jealous man and his wife claimed his speech wasn't imaginative enough and that he didn’t make the rocks and mountains dance with enough agility.

"He is dry," said they, "and void of genius. He does not make the sea to fly, and stars to fall, nor the sun to melt like wax. He has not the true oriental style."

"He’s dull," they said, "and lacks creativity. He doesn’t make the sea fly, the stars fall, or the sun melt like wax. He doesn't have the authentic oriental style."

Zadig contented himself with having the style of reason. All the world favored him, not because he was in the right road, or followed the dictates of reason, or was a man of real merit, but because he was prime vizier.

Zadig was satisfied with just having a rational approach. Everyone supported him, not because he was on the right path, followed logic, or truly deserved it, but because he held the position of prime vizier.

He terminated with the same happy address the grand dispute between the black and the white magi. The former maintained that it was the height of impiety to pray to God with the face turned toward the east in winter; the latter asserted that God abhorred the prayers of those who turned toward the west in summer. Zadig decreed that every man should be allowed to turn as he pleased.

He ended the big argument between the black and white magicians with the same cheerful tone. The black magicians claimed it was incredibly disrespectful to pray to God facing east in winter, while the white magicians insisted that God hated the prayers of those who faced west in summer. Zadig decided that everyone should be free to pray however they wanted.

Thus he found out the happy secret of finishing all affairs, whether of a private or a public nature, in the morning. The rest of the day he employed in superintending and promoting the embellishments of Babylon. He exhibited tragedies that drew tears from the eyes of the spectators, and comedies that shook their sides with laughter,—a custom which had long been disused, and which his good taste now induced him to revive. He never affected to be more knowing in the polite arts than the artists themselves. He encouraged them by rewards and honors, and was never jealous of their talents. In the evening the king was highly entertained with his conversation, and the queen still more.

So, he discovered the secret to getting everything done, whether personal or public, in the morning. The rest of the day, he focused on overseeing and enhancing the beauty of Babylon. He put on tragedies that brought tears to the audience's eyes, and comedies that made them laugh hard—a practice that had fallen out of use but which his good taste inspired him to bring back. He never pretended to know more about the arts than the artists themselves. He supported them with rewards and honors, and he was never envious of their skills. In the evening, the king enjoyed his conversation greatly, and the queen even more.

"Great minister!" said the king.

"Great minister!" the king said.

"Amiable minister!" said the queen; and both of them added, "It would have been a great loss to the state had such a man been hanged."

"Amiable minister!" said the queen; and both of them added, "It would have been a huge loss to the state if such a man had been hanged."

Meanwhile Zadig perceived that his thoughts were always distracted, as well when he gave audience as when he sat in judgment. He did not know to what to attribute this absence of mind, and that was his only sorrow.

Meanwhile, Zadig realized that his mind was constantly wandering, whether he was giving an audience or sitting in judgment. He didn't know what to blame for this distraction, and that was his only source of sadness.

He had a dream, in which he imagined that he laid himself down upon a heap of dry herbs, among which there were many prickly ones that gave him great uneasiness, and that he afterward reposed himself on a soft bed of roses, from which there sprung a serpent that wounded him to the heart with its sharp venomed fangs. "Alas," said he, "I have long lain on these dry and prickly herbs, I am now on the bed of roses; but what shall be the serpent?"

He had a dream where he envisioned lying down on a pile of dry herbs, many of which were prickly and made him very uncomfortable. Then he found himself resting on a soft bed of roses, from which a serpent emerged and struck him in the heart with its sharp, venomous fangs. "Oh no," he said, "I've spent a long time on these dry and prickly herbs, and now I'm on the bed of roses; but what will the serpent be?"


VIII.

Jealousy.

Zadig's calamities sprung even from his happiness, and especially from his merit. He every day conversed with the king and his august consort. The charms of Zadig's conversation were greatly heightened by that desire of pleasing which is to the mind what dress is to beauty. His youth and graceful appearance insensibly made an impression on Astarte, which she did not at first perceive. Her passion grew and flourished in the bosom of innocence. Without fear or scruple, she indulged the pleasing satisfaction of seeing and hearing a man who was so dear to her husband, and to the empire in general. She was continually praising him to the king. She talked of him to her women, who were always sure to improve on her praises. And thus everything contributed to pierce her heart with a dart, of which she did not seem to be sensible. She made several presents to Zadig, which discovered a greater spirit of gallantry than she imagined. She intended to speak to him only as a queen satisfied with his services; and her expressions were sometimes those of a woman in love.

Zadig’s troubles arose even from his happiness, especially because of his talents. He talked every day with the king and his majestic wife. The charm of Zadig’s conversation was greatly enhanced by his desire to please, which is to the mind what clothes are to beauty. His youth and graceful appearance unknowingly made an impression on Astarte, one that she didn’t initially recognize. Her feelings grew and blossomed in the heart of innocence. Without any fear or hesitation, she enjoyed the pleasure of seeing and hearing a man who was so cherished by her husband and the empire as a whole. She constantly praised him to the king. She spoke of him to her ladies-in-waiting, who always made her compliments even better. And so everything helped to pierce her heart with an arrow, one that she didn’t seem aware of. She made several gifts to Zadig, which showed a more flirtatious spirit than she intended. She meant to speak to him merely as a queen grateful for his services, yet sometimes her words reflected those of a woman in love.

Astarte was much more beautiful than that Semira who had such a strong aversion to one-eyed men, or that other woman who had resolved to cut off her husband's nose. Her unreserved familiarity, her tender expressions, at which she began to blush; and her eyes, which, though she endeavored to divert them to other objects, were always fixed upon his, inspired Zadig with a passion that filled him with astonishment. He struggled hard to get the better of it. He called to his aid the precepts of philosophy, which had always stood him in stead; but from thence, though he could derive the light of knowledge, he could procure no remedy to cure the disorders of his love-sick heart. Duty, gratitude, and violated majesty, presented themselves to his mind, as so many avenging gods. He struggled, he conquered. But this victory, which he was obliged to purchase afresh every moment, cost him many sighs and tears. He no longer dared to speak to the queen with that sweet and charming familiarity which had been so agreeable to them both. His countenance was covered with a cloud. His conversation was constrained and incoherent. His eyes were fixed on the ground; and when, in spite of all his endeavors to the contrary, they encountered those of the queen, they found them bathed in tears, and darting arrows of flame. They seemed to say, We adore each other, and yet are afraid to love; we are consumed with a passion which we both condemn.

Astarte was far more beautiful than Semira, who had a strong dislike for one-eyed men, or the other woman who had decided to cut off her husband's nose. Her open affection, her tender words that made her blush, and her eyes, which, despite her efforts to look elsewhere, were always drawn to his, ignited a passion in Zadig that left him astonished. He fought hard to overcome it. He called upon the lessons of philosophy, which had always helped him before; but while he could gain knowledge, he found no cure for the turmoil in his lovesick heart. Duty, gratitude, and a sense of hurt pride loomed in his mind like avenging forces. He fought and succeeded. But this victory, which he had to buy anew every moment, cost him many sighs and tears. He no longer dared to speak to the queen with the sweet and charming familiarity that they had both enjoyed. His expression was clouded. His conversation was awkward and disjointed. His eyes were glued to the ground, and whenever, despite all his efforts not to, they met the queen's gaze, they found her eyes filled with tears and shooting fiery arrows. They seemed to say, We adore each other but are afraid to love; we are consumed by a passion we both disapprove of.

Zadig left the royal presence full of perplexity and despair, and having his heart oppressed with a burden which he was no longer able to bear. In the violence of his perturbation he involuntarily betrayed the secret to his friend Cador, in the same manner as a man, who, having long endured a cruel disease, discovers his pain by a cry extorted from him by a more severe attack, and by the cold sweat that covers his brow.

Zadig left the royal presence feeling confused and hopeless, carrying a weight in his heart that he could no longer handle. In his distress, he unintentionally revealed the secret to his friend Cador, just like someone who has suffered from a painful illness for a long time reveals their agony with a cry triggered by a more intense episode, along with the cold sweat on their forehead.

"I have already discovered," said Cador, "the sentiments which thou wouldst fain conceal from thyself. The symptoms by which the passions show themselves are certain and infallible. Judge, my dear Zadig, since I have read thy heart, whether the king will not discover something in it that may give him offence. He has no other fault but that of being the most jealous man in the world. Thou canst resist the violence of thy passion with greater fortitude than the queen, because thou art a philosopher, and because thou art Zadig. Astarte is a woman. She suffers her eyes to speak with so much the more imprudence, as she does not as yet think herself guilty. Conscious of her own innocence, she unhappily neglects those external appearances which are so necessary. I shall tremble for her so long as she has nothing wherewithal to reproach herself. A growing passion which we endeavor to suppress, discovers itself in spite of all our efforts to the contrary.

"I've already figured out," said Cador, "the feelings you're trying to hide from yourself. The signs that reveal our passions are clear and undeniable. Judge for yourself, my dear Zadig, whether the king won’t find something in your heart that might upset him. His only flaw is that he’s the most jealous man in the world. You can withstand the intensity of your feelings better than the queen can because you're a philosopher, and because you're Zadig. Astarte is a woman. She lets her eyes express too much, especially since she doesn’t believe she’s done anything wrong. Because she feels innocent, she unfortunately overlooks those outward signs that are so important. I’ll be worried for her as long as she has nothing to blame herself for. A growing passion that we try to suppress reveals itself despite all our efforts to hide it."

Meanwhile, the queen mentioned the name of Zadig so frequently, and with such a blushing and downcast look. She was sometimes so lively, and sometimes so perplexed, when she spoke to him in the king's presence, and was seized with such a deep thoughtfulness at his going away, that the king began to be troubled. He believed all that he saw, and imagined all that he did not see. He particularly remarked, that his wife's shoes were blue, and that Zadig's shoes were blue; that his wife's ribbons were yellow, and that Zadig's bonnet was yellow, and these were terrible symptoms to a prince of so much delicacy. In his jealous mind suspicion was turned into certainty.

Meanwhile, the queen brought up Zadig's name so often, and with such a rosy blush and downcast gaze. Sometimes she was really lively, and other times she seemed confused when talking to him in the king's presence. When he left, she became deeply thoughtful, which started to worry the king. He believed everything he observed and imagined all the things he didn't see. He especially noticed that his wife's shoes were blue, and that Zadig's shoes were blue too; that his wife's ribbons were yellow, and that Zadig's hat was yellow as well, which were alarming signs to a prince with such sensitivity. In his jealous mind, suspicion transformed into certainty.

All the slaves of kings and queens are so many spies over their hearts. They soon observed that Astarte was tender, and that Moabdar was jealous. The envious man persuaded his wife to send anonymously to the king her garter, which resembled those of the queen; and to complete the misfortune, this garter was blue. The monarch now thought of nothing but in what manner he might best execute his vengeance. He one night resolved to poison the queen, and in the morning to put Zadig to death by the bowstring. The orders were given to a merciless eunuch, who commonly executed his acts of vengeance.

All the slaves of kings and queens are basically spies on their emotions. They quickly noticed that Astarte was affectionate and that Moabdar was jealous. The jealous man convinced his wife to anonymously send the king her garter, which looked like the queen's; to make matters worse, this garter was blue. The king could think of nothing but how to carry out his revenge. One night, he decided to poison the queen and execute Zadig in the morning using the bowstring. He gave the orders to a ruthless eunuch, who was known for carrying out acts of vengeance.

There happened at that time to be in the king's chamber a little dwarf, who, though dumb, was not deaf. He was allowed, on account of his insignificance, to go wherever he pleased; and, as a domestic animal, was a witness of what passed in the most profound secrecy.

There happened to be a little dwarf in the king's chamber at that time, who, although he couldn't speak, could hear just fine. Because of his small stature, he was permitted to go wherever he wanted; and, like a pet, he observed everything that happened in complete secrecy.

This little mute was strongly attached to the queen and Zadig. With equal horror and surprise, he heard the cruel orders given; but how could he prevent the fatal sentence that in a few hours was to be carried into execution? He could not write, but he could paint; and excelled particularly in drawing a striking resemblance. He employed a part of the night in sketching out with his pencil what he meant to impart to the queen. The piece represented the king in one corner, boiling with rage, and giving orders to the eunuch; a blue bowstring, and a bowl on a table, with blue garters and yellow ribbons; the queen in the middle of the picture, expiring in the arms of her woman, and Zadig strangled at her feet. The horizon represented a rising sun, to express that this shocking execution was to be performed in the morning. As soon as he had finished the picture, he ran to one of Astarte's women, awoke her, and made her understand that she must immediately carry it to the queen.

This little mute was deeply attached to the queen and Zadig. With equal horror and surprise, he heard the cruel orders being given; but how could he stop the fatal sentence that was set to be carried out in just a few hours? He couldn’t write, but he could paint, and he was particularly good at capturing a striking likeness. He spent part of the night sketching with his pencil what he wanted to show the queen. The drawing depicted the king in one corner, furious and giving orders to the eunuch; a blue bowstring and a bowl on a table, alongside blue garters and yellow ribbons; the queen in the center of the picture, dying in the arms of her attendant, and Zadig strangled at her feet. The horizon showed a rising sun, indicating that this shocking execution was scheduled for the morning. As soon as he finished the drawing, he rushed to one of Astarte's women, woke her up, and made her understand that she needed to take it to the queen right away.

At midnight a messenger knocks at Zadig's door, awakes him, and gives him a note from the queen. He doubts whether it is not a dream; and opens the letter with a trembling hand. But how great was his surprise, and who can express the consternation and despair into which he was thrown upon reading these words? "Fly, this instant, or thou art a dead man! Fly, Zadig, I conjure thee by our mutual love and my yellow ribbons. I have not been guilty, but I find that I must die like a criminal."

At midnight, a messenger knocks on Zadig's door, wakes him up, and hands him a note from the queen. He wonders if it’s all just a dream and opens the letter with shaking hands. But how shocked he was, and who can describe the panic and despair he felt upon reading these words? "Run away, right now, or you’ll be a dead man! Run, Zadig, I beg you by our love and my yellow ribbons. I haven't done anything wrong, but I see that I must die like a criminal."

Zadig was hardly able to speak. He sent for Cador, and, without uttering a word, gave him the note. Cador forced him to obey, and forthwith to take the road to Memphis.

Zadig could barely speak. He called for Cador and, without saying anything, handed him the note. Cador made him comply, and immediately they set off for Memphis.

"Shouldst thou dare," said he, "to go in search of the queen, thou wilt hasten her death. Shouldst thou speak to the king, thou wilt infallibly ruin her. I will take upon me the charge of her destiny; follow thy own. I will spread a report that thou hast taken the road to India. I will soon follow thee, and inform thee of all that shall have passed in Babylon."

"Should you dare," he said, "to look for the queen, you'll only speed up her death. If you talk to the king, you'll surely ruin her. I'll take responsibility for her fate; you should focus on your own. I'll spread the word that you've headed to India. I'll follow you soon and update you on everything that happens in Babylon."

At that instant, Cador caused two of the swiftest dromedaries to be brought to a private gate of the palace. Upon one of these he mounted Zadig, whom he was obliged to carry to the door, and who was ready to expire with grief. He was accompanied by a single domestic, and Cador, plunged in sorrow and astonishment, soon lost sight of his friend.

At that moment, Cador had two of the fastest camels brought to a private entrance of the palace. He got on one of them with Zadig, who was so overwhelmed with grief that he could barely hold on. He was joined by just one servant, and Cador, consumed by sadness and shock, quickly lost sight of his friend.

This illustrious fugitive arriving on the side of a hill, from whence he could take a view of Babylon, turned his eyes toward the queen's palace, and fainted away at the sight; nor did he recover his senses but to shed a torrent of tears, and to wish for death. At length, after his thoughts had been long engrossed in lamenting the unhappy fate of the loveliest woman and the greatest queen in the world, he for a moment turned his views on himself, and cried:

This famous fugitive arrived on a hillside, where he could see Babylon, and when he looked at the queen's palace, he fainted at the sight. He didn’t regain his senses until he burst into tears, wishing for death. Eventually, after spending a long time mourning the tragic fate of the most beautiful woman and the greatest queen in the world, he briefly focused on himself and cried:

"What then is human life? O virtue, how hast thou served me? Two women have basely deceived me; and now a third, who is innocent, and more beautiful than both the others, is going to be put to death! Whatever good I have done hath been to me a continual source of calamity and affliction; and I have only been raised to the height of grandeur, to be tumbled down the most horrid precipice of misfortune."

"What then is human life? Oh virtue, how have you betrayed me? Two women have fooled me in a disgraceful way; and now a third, who is innocent and more beautiful than both of them, is about to be killed! Whatever good I've done has only brought me continuous suffering and pain; and I've only been lifted to greatness, just to be thrown down into the worst depths of misfortune."

Filled with these gloomy reflections, his eyes overspread with the veil of grief, his countenance covered with the paleness of death, and his soul plunged in an abyss of the blackest despair, he continued his journey toward Egypt.

Filled with these dark thoughts, his eyes clouded by sorrow, his face pale like death, and his soul sunk in the deepest despair, he continued his journey toward Egypt.


IX.

The abuser.

Zadig directed his course by the stars. The constellation of Orion, and the splendid Dogstars, guided his steps toward the pole of Canopæa. He admired those vast globes of light which appear to our eyes as so many little sparks, while the earth, which in reality is only an imperceptible point in nature, appears to our fond imaginations as something so grand and noble. He then represented to himself the human species, as it really is, as a parcel of insects devouring one another on a little atom of clay. This true image seemed to annihilate his misfortunes, by making him sensible of the nothingness of his own being, and that of Babylon. His soul launched out into infinity, and detached from the senses, contemplated the immutable order of the universe. But when afterward, returning to himself, and entering into his own heart, he considered that Astarte had perhaps died for him, the universe vanished from his sight, and he beheld nothing in the whole compass of nature but Astarte expiring, and Zadig unhappy.

Zadig navigated by the stars. The constellation Orion and the brilliant Dog Stars guided him toward the pole of Canopæa. He admired those vast orbs of light that appear to us as tiny sparks, while the earth, which is really just an insignificant dot in the grand scheme of things, seems to our hopeful imaginations as something so grand and noble. He then pictured humanity as it truly is—a bunch of insects devouring each other on a tiny speck of clay. This reality seemed to wipe away his misfortunes by making him aware of the insignificance of his own existence and that of Babylon. His soul soared into infinity, free from the senses, contemplating the unchanging order of the universe. But later, when he returned to himself and reflected on the possibility that Astarte had perhaps died for him, the universe faded from view, and all he could see in nature was Astarte dying and Zadig in despair.

While he thus alternately gave up his mind to this flux and reflux of sublime philosophy and intolerable grief, he advanced toward the frontiers of Egypt; and his faithful domestic was already in the first village, in search of a lodging.

While he fluctuated between deep thoughts on profound philosophy and overwhelming sadness, he made his way to the borders of Egypt; and his loyal servant was already in the first village, looking for a place to stay.

Meanwhile, as Zadig was walking toward the gardens that skirted the village, he saw, at a small distance from the highway, a woman bathed in tears and calling heaven and earth to her assistance, and a man in a furious passion pursuing her.

Meanwhile, as Zadig was walking toward the gardens that lined the village, he noticed, a bit off the highway, a woman in tears, crying out for help from heaven and earth, while a man, in a fit of rage, chased after her.

This madman had already overtaken the woman, who embraced his knees, notwithstanding which he loaded her with blows and reproaches. Zadig judged by the frantic behavior of the Egyptian, and by the repeated pardons which the lady asked him, that the one was jealous, and the other unfaithful. But when he surveyed the woman more narrowly, and found her to be a lady of exquisite beauty, and even to have a strong resemblance to the unhappy Astarte, he felt himself inspired with compassion for her, and horror toward the Egyptian.

This crazy guy had already caught up with the woman, who was clinging to his knees, but he still hit her and yelled at her. Zadig believed that the Egyptian was jealous and that the lady was being unfaithful, based on the Egyptian's wild behavior and the lady's repeated apologies. However, when he looked more closely at the woman and saw that she was incredibly beautiful and bore a strong resemblance to the unfortunate Astarte, he felt a surge of compassion for her and disgust toward the Egyptian.

"Assist me," cried she to Zadig, with the deepest sighs, "deliver me from the hands of the most barbarous man in the world. Save my life."

"Help me," she cried to Zadig, with the deepest sighs, "free me from the clutches of the most brutal man in the world. Save my life."

Moved by these pitiful cries, Zadig ran and threw himself between her and the barbarian. As he had some knowledge of the Egyptian language, he addressed him in that tongue.

Moved by these pitiful cries, Zadig ran and placed himself between her and the barbarian. Since he had some knowledge of the Egyptian language, he spoke to him in that tongue.

"If," said he, "thou hast any humanity, I conjure thee to pay some regard to her beauty and weakness. How canst thou behave in this outrageous manner to one of the masterpieces of nature, who lies at thy feet, and hath no defence but her tears?"

"If," he said, "if you have any humanity, I urge you to take a moment to consider her beauty and vulnerability. How can you act so brutally towards one of nature's masterpieces, who lies at your feet and has no defense except her tears?"

"Ah, ah!" replied the madman, "thou art likewise in love with her. I must be revenged on thee too."

"Ah, ah!" said the madman, "you’re also in love with her. I need to take revenge on you too."

So saying, he left the lady, whom he had hitherto held with his hand twisted in her hair, and taking his lance attempted to stab the stranger. Zadig, who was in cold blood, easily eluded the blow aimed by the frantic Egyptian. He seized the lance near the iron with which it was armed. The Egyptian strove to draw it back; Zadig to wrest it from the Egyptian; and in the struggle it was broken in two. The Egyptian draws his sword; Zadig does the same. They attack each other. The former gives a hundred blows at random; the latter wards them off with great dexterity. The lady, seated on a turf, re-adjusts her head-dress, and looks at the combatants. The Egyptian excelled in strength: Zadig in address. The one fought like a man whose arm was directed by his judgment; the other like a madman, whose blind rage made him deal his blows at random. Zadig closes with him, and disarms him; and while the Egyptian, now become more furious, endeavors to throw himself upon him, he seizes him, presses him close, and throws him down; and then holding his sword to his breast, offers him his life. The Egyptian, frantic with rage, draws his poniard, and wounds Zadig at the very instant that the conqueror was granting a pardon. Zadig, provoked at such brutal behavior, plunged his sword in the bosom of the Egyptian, who giving a horrible shriek and a violent struggle, instantly expired. Zadig then approached the lady, and said to her with a gentle tone:

So saying, he left the lady, whom he had been holding by her hair, and picked up his lance to try to stab the stranger. Zadig, calm and composed, easily dodged the frantic Egyptian's attack. He grabbed the lance near the iron tip, and the Egyptian struggled to pull it back while Zadig attempted to take it away from him, resulting in it breaking in two. The Egyptian then drew his sword, and Zadig did the same. They began to fight. The Egyptian swung wildly, landing a hundred random blows, while Zadig skillfully defended himself. The lady, sitting on the grass, adjusted her headpiece and watched the duel. The Egyptian was stronger; Zadig was more agile. One fought like a man guided by reason; the other like a madman, swinging in a blind rage. Zadig closed in on him and disarmed him. As the now furious Egyptian tried to tackle him, Zadig grabbed him, held him tight, and threw him down. He then placed his sword at the Egyptian's chest, offering him mercy. In a fit of rage, the Egyptian drew a dagger and wounded Zadig just as the victor was about to grant him a pardon. Angered by such brutal behavior, Zadig stabbed the Egyptian in the chest, who let out a horrible scream, struggled violently, and died instantly. Zadig then approached the lady and spoke to her gently:

"He hath forced me to kill him. I have avenged thy cause. Thou art now delivered from the most violent man I ever saw. What further, madam, wouldest thou have me do for thee?

"He made me kill him. I've avenged your cause. You're now free from the most violent man I've ever seen. What else, ma'am, would you like me to do for you?"

"Die, villain," replied she, "thou hast killed my lover. O that I were able to tear out thy heart!"

"Die, villain," she replied, "you've killed my lover. Oh, if only I could rip out your heart!"

"Why truly, madam," said Zadig, "thou hadst a strange kind of a man for a lover; he beat thee with all his might, and would have killed thee, because thou hadst entreated me to give thee assistance."

"Why, truly, madam," said Zadig, "you had a really strange kind of man as a lover; he beat you with all his strength and would have killed you because you asked me to help you."

"I wish he were beating me still," replied the lady with tears and lamentation. "I well deserved it; for I had given him cause to be jealous. Would to heaven that he was now beating me, and that thou wast in his place."

"I wish he were still hitting me," replied the lady, tearfully. "I totally deserved it; I had given him a reason to be jealous. I wish to God he was the one hitting me right now, and that you were in his place."

Zadig, struck with surprise, and inflamed with a higher degree of resentment than he had ever felt before, said:

Zadig, taken aback and filled with a level of anger he had never experienced before, said:

"Beautiful as thou art, madam, thou deservest that I should beat thee in my turn for thy perverse and impertinent behavior. But I shall not give myself the trouble."

"Beautiful as you are, ma'am, you deserve for me to hit you in return for your stubborn and rude behavior. But I won’t bother."

So saying, he remounted his camel, and advanced toward the town. He had proceeded but a few steps, when he turned back at the noise of four Babylonian couriers, who came riding at full gallop. One of them, upon seeing the woman, cried:

So saying, he got back on his camel and moved toward the town. He had only taken a few steps when he turned around at the sound of four Babylonian couriers riding at full speed. One of them, upon seeing the woman, shouted:

"It is the very same. She resembles the description that was given us."

"It’s exactly the same. She matches the description we were given."

They gave themselves no concern about the dead Egyptian, but instantly seized the lady. She called out to Zadig:

They didn’t worry about the dead Egyptian at all and immediately grabbed the woman. She shouted out to Zadig:

"Help me once more, generous stranger. I ask pardon for having complained of thy conduct. Deliver me again, and I will be thine for ever."

"Help me one more time, kind stranger. I'm sorry for complaining about how you acted. Save me again, and I will be yours forever."

Zadig was no longer in the humor of fighting for her.

Zadig was no longer in the mood to fight for her.

"Apply to another," said he, "thou shalt not again ensnare me in thy wiles."

"Apply to someone else," he said, "you won't trap me in your tricks again."

Besides, he was wounded; his blood was still flowing, and he himself had need of assistance: and the sight of four Babylonians, probably sent by King Moabdar, filled him with apprehension. He therefore hastened toward the village, unable to comprehend why four Babylonian couriers should come and seize this Egyptian woman, but still more astonished at the lady's behavior.

Besides, he was injured; his blood was still flowing, and he needed help himself: the sight of four Babylonians, likely sent by King Moabdar, filled him with fear. So, he rushed toward the village, unable to understand why four Babylonian messengers would come to take this Egyptian woman, but even more surprised by the lady's behavior.


X.

Slavery.

As he entered the Egyptian village, he saw himself surrounded by the people. Every one said:

As he walked into the Egyptian village, he found himself surrounded by the locals. Everyone said:

"This is the man who carried off the beautiful Missouf, and assassinated Clitofis."

"This is the guy who took the beautiful Missouf and killed Clitofis."

"Gentleman," said he, "God preserve me from carrying off your beautiful Missouf. She is too capricious for me. And with regard to Clitofis, I did not assassinate him, I only fought with him in my own defence. He endeavored to kill me, because I humbly interceded for the beautiful Missouf, whom he beat most unmercifully. I am a stranger, come to seek refuge in Egypt; and it is not likely, that in coming to implore your protection, I should begin by carrying off a woman, and assassinating a man."

"Gentlemen," he said, "God save me from taking your beautiful Missouf. She's way too unpredictable for me. And about Clitofis, I didn’t murder him; I only fought back in self-defense. He tried to kill me because I humbly pleaded for the lovely Missouf, whom he was beating mercilessly. I'm a stranger looking for refuge in Egypt; it's hard to believe that I’d come asking for your protection only to start by abducting a woman and killing a man."

The Egyptians were then just and humane. The people conducted Zadig to the town-house. They first of all ordered his wound to be dressed, and then examined him and his servant apart, in order to discover the truth. They found that Zadig was not an assassin; but as he was guilty of having killed a man, the law condemned him to be a slave. His two camels were sold for the benefit of the town: all the gold he had brought with him was distributed among the inhabitants; and his person, as well as that of the companion of his journey, was exposed for sale in the market-place. An Arabian merchant, named Setoc, made the purchase; but as the servant was fitter for labor than the master, he was sold at a higher price. There was no comparison between the two men. Thus Zadig became a slave subordinate to his own servant. They were linked together by a chain fastened to their feet, and in this condition they followed the Arabian merchant to his house.

The Egyptians were fair and compassionate. The people took Zadig to the town hall. First, they had his wound treated and then questioned him and his servant separately to uncover the truth. They discovered that Zadig wasn't a murderer; however, since he had killed a man, the law sentenced him to slavery. His two camels were sold for the benefit of the town, all the gold he had brought with him was shared among the locals, and both he and his traveling companion were put up for sale in the marketplace. An Arabian merchant named Setoc bought them, but since the servant was more suited for labor than the master, he sold for a higher price. The two men couldn’t have been more different. Thus, Zadig ended up as a slave beneath his own servant. They were linked by a chain around their feet and, in this state, followed the Arabian merchant to his home.

By the way Zadig comforted his servant, and exhorted him to patience; but he could not help making, according to his usual custom, some reflections on human life. "I see," said he, "that the unhappiness of my fate hath an influence on thine. Hitherto everything has turned out to me in a most unaccountable manner. I have been condemned to pay a fine for having seen the marks of a bitch's feet. I thought that I should once have been empaled alive on account of a griffin. I have been sent to execution for having made some verses in praise of the king. I have been on the point of being strangled, because the queen had yellow ribbons; and now I am a slave with thee, because a brutal wretch beat his mistress. Come, let us keep a good heart; all this will perhaps have an end. The Arabian merchants must necessarily have slaves; and why not me as well as another, since, as well as another, I am a man? This merchant will not be cruel. He must treat his slaves well if he expects any advantage from them."

As Zadig comforted his servant and encouraged him to be patient, he couldn’t help but reflect on human life, as he usually did. "I understand," he said, "that my misfortune affects you too. Up until now, everything has happened to me in the strangest ways. I've been fined just for noticing the tracks of a female dog. I thought I would be impaled alive because of a griffin. I was sentenced to death for writing some poems praising the king. I almost got strangled because the queen wore yellow ribbons; and now I’m a slave with you, all because a cruel man beat his mistress. Come on, let’s stay positive; maybe this will come to an end. The Arabian merchants must have slaves; so why shouldn't I be one of them, just like anyone else, since I'm human too? This merchant won't be cruel. He needs to treat his slaves well if he wants to benefit from them."

But while he spoke thus, his heart was entirely engrossed by the fate of the queen of Babylon.

But while he spoke like this, his mind was completely focused on the fate of the queen of Babylon.

Two days after, the merchant Setoc set out for Arabia Deserta, with his slaves and his camels. His tribe dwelt near the desert of Oreb. The journey was long and painful. Setoc set a much greater value on the servant than the master, because the former was more expert in loading the camels, and all the little marks of distinction were shown to him. A camel having died within two days journey of Oreb, his burden was divided and laid on the backs of the servants; and Zadig had his share among the rest. Setoc laughed to see all his slaves walking with their bodies inclined. Zadig took the liberty to explain to him the cause, and inform him of the laws of the balance. The merchant was astonished, and began to regard him with other eyes. Zadig, finding he had raised his curiosity, increased it still further by acquainting him with many things that related to commerce; the specific gravity of metals and commodities under an equal bulk; the properties of several useful animals; and the means of rendering those useful that are not naturally so.

Two days later, the merchant Setoc headed out for Arabia Deserta, accompanied by his slaves and camels. His tribe lived near the desert of Oreb. The journey was long and tough. Setoc valued the servant more than the master because the servant was better at loading the camels, and all the little signs of distinction were shown to him. When a camel died just two days' journey from Oreb, its load was divided and placed on the backs of the servants; Zadig took his share along with the others. Setoc laughed at seeing all his slaves walking with their bodies bent. Zadig took the chance to explain to him the reason behind it and informed him about the laws of balance. The merchant was surprised and began to see him differently. Zadig, sensing he had piqued Setoc's curiosity, elaborated further by sharing many insights related to trade; including the specific weight of metals and goods of equal size, the characteristics of various useful animals, and how to make those that aren't naturally useful more beneficial.

At last Setoc began to consider Zadig as a sage, and preferred him to his companion, whom he had formerly so much esteemed. He treated him well, and had no cause to repent of his kindness.

At last, Setoc started to see Zadig as a wise man and preferred him over his companion, whom he had once held in high regard. He treated him well and had no reason to regret his kindness.

As soon as Setoc arrived among his own tribe he demanded the payment of five hundred ounces of silver, which he had lent to a Jew in presence of two witnesses; but as the witnesses were dead, and the debt could not be proved, the Hebrew appropriated the merchant's money to himself, and piously thanked God for putting it in his power to cheat an Arabian. Setoc imparted this troublesome affair to Zadig, who had now become his counsel.

As soon as Setoc got back to his tribe, he asked for the repayment of five hundred ounces of silver that he had lent to a Jew in front of two witnesses. But since the witnesses were dead and the debt couldn't be proven, the Hebrew kept the merchant's money for himself and thanked God for giving him the opportunity to cheat an Arabian. Setoc shared this frustrating situation with Zadig, who had now become his advisor.

"In what place," said Zadig, "didst thou lend the five hundred ounces to this infidel?"

"In what place," said Zadig, "did you lend the five hundred ounces to this infidel?"

"Upon a large stone," replied the merchant, "that lies near the mountain of Oreb."

"On a big rock," replied the merchant, "that's located near Mount Oreb."

"What is the character of thy debter?" said Zadig.

"What is the character of your debtor?" said Zadig.

"That of a knave," returned Setoc.

"That's the action of a liar," Setoc replied.

"But I ask thee, whether he is lively or phlegmatic; cautious or imprudent?"

"But I ask you, is he lively or calm; cautious or reckless?"

"He is, of all bad payers," said Setoc, "the most lively fellow I ever knew."

"He is, out of all the worst payers," said Setoc, "the most energetic guy I’ve ever met."

"Well," resumed Zadig, "allow me to plead thy cause."

"Well," continued Zadig, "let me defend your case."

In effect, Zadig having summoned the Jew to the tribunal, addressed the judge in the following terms:

In effect, Zadig summoned the Jew to the court and spoke to the judge like this:

"Pillow of the throne of equity, I come to demand of this man, in the name of my master, five hundred ounces of silver, which he refuses to repay."

"Pillow of the throne of fairness, I come to request from this man, on behalf of my master, five hundred ounces of silver, which he is refusing to pay back."

"Hast thou any witnesses?" said the judge.

"Do you have any witnesses?" said the judge.

"No, they are dead; but there remains a large stone upon which the money was counted; and if it please thy grandeur to order the stone to be sought for, I hope that it will bear witness. The Hebrew and I will tarry here till the stone arrives. I will send for it at my master's expense."

"No, they’re dead; but there’s a large stone where the money was counted; and if it pleases your greatness to have the stone brought here, I hope it will testify. The Hebrew and I will wait here until the stone arrives. I’ll send for it at my master’s expense."

"With all my heart," replied the judge, and immediately applied himself to the discussion of other affairs.

"With all my heart," replied the judge, and immediately turned his attention to other matters.

When the court was going to break up, the judge said to Zadig:

When the court was about to adjourn, the judge said to Zadig:

"Well, friend, hath not thy stone yet arrived?"

"Well, friend, hasn't your stone arrived yet?"

The Hebrew replied with a smile:

The Hebrew answered with a smile:

"Thy grandeur may stay here till to-morrow, and after all not see the stone. It is more than six miles from hence and it would require fifteen men to move it."

"Your greatness can remain here until tomorrow, and still not see the stone. It's more than six miles away, and it would take fifteen men to move it."

"Well," cried Zadig, "did I not say that the stone would bear witness? Since this man knows where it is, he thereby confesses that it was upon it that the money was counted."

"Well," shouted Zadig, "didn't I say that the stone would speak for itself? Since this guy knows where it is, he's basically admitting that the money was counted on it."

The Hebrew was disconcerted, and was soon after obliged to confess the truth. The judge ordered him to be fastened to the stone, without meat or drink, till he should restore the five hundred ounces, which were soon after paid.

The Hebrew was unsettled and soon had to admit the truth. The judge ordered him to be tied to the stone, without food or water, until he could repay the five hundred ounces, which were paid shortly after.

The slave Zadig and the stone were held in great repute in Arabia.

The slave Zadig and the stone were highly regarded in Arabia.

Egyptian archer

XI.

THE FUNERAL STACK.

Setoc, charmed with the happy issue of this affair, made his slave his intimate friend. He had now conceived as great an esteem for him as ever the king of Babylon had done; and Zadig was glad that Setoc had no wife. He discovered in his master a good natural disposition, much probity of heart, and a great share of good sense; but he was sorry to see that, according to the ancient custom of Arabia, he adored the host of heaven; that is, the sun, moon, and stars. He sometimes spoke to him on this subject with great prudence and discretion. At last he told him that these bodies were like all other bodies in the universe, and no more deserving of our homage than a tree or a rock.

Setoc, delighted with the successful outcome of this situation, became very close friends with his slave. He now held him in as high regard as the king of Babylon once did; and Zadig was pleased that Setoc had no wife. He recognized in his master a naturally good character, a lot of integrity, and a good amount of common sense; however, he felt sad to see that, following the ancient traditions of Arabia, he worshipped the heavenly bodies—specifically, the sun, moon, and stars. Sometimes he approached this topic with him thoughtfully and carefully. Eventually, he explained that these celestial bodies were just like any other objects in the universe and didn't deserve our reverence any more than a tree or a rock.

"But," said Setoc, "they are eternal beings; and it is from them we derive all we enjoy. They animate nature; they regulate the seasons; and, besides, are removed at such an immense distance from us, that we cannot help revering them."

"But," said Setoc, "they are eternal beings, and from them we get everything we enjoy. They bring life to nature, control the seasons, and are so far removed from us that we can't help but respect them."

"Thou receivest more advantage," replied Zadig, "from the waters of the Red Sea, which carry thy merchandize to the Indies. Why may not it be as ancient as the stars? and if thou adorest what is placed at a distance from thee, thou shouldest adore the land of the Gangarides, which lies at the extremity of the earth."

"You get more benefit," replied Zadig, "from the waters of the Red Sea, which transport your goods to the Indies. Why can’t it be as old as the stars? And if you worship something that's far away from you, you should worship the land of the Gangarides, which is at the edge of the earth."

"No," said Setoc, "the brightness of the stars commands my adoration."

"No," Setoc said, "the brightness of the stars deserves my admiration."

At night Zadig lighted up a great number of candles in the tent where he was to sup with Setoc; and the moment his patron appeared, he fell on his knees before these lighted tapers, and said:

At night, Zadig lit a lot of candles in the tent where he was going to have dinner with Setoc; and as soon as his patron arrived, he knelt before the glowing candles and said:

"Eternal and shining luminaries! be ye always propitious to me."

"Eternal and shining stars! Always be kind to me."

Having thus said, he sat down at the table, without taking the least notice of Setoc.

Having said that, he sat down at the table, completely ignoring Setoc.

"What art thou doing?" said Setoc in amaze.

"What are you doing?" said Setoc in surprise.

"I act like thee," replied Zadig, "I adore these candles, and neglect their master and mine."

"I act like you," replied Zadig, "I love these candles and ignore their master and mine."

Setoc comprehended the profound sense of this apologue. The wisdom of his slave sunk deep into his soul. He no longer offered incense to the creatures, but he adored the eternal Being who made them.

Setoc understood the deep meaning of this story. The wisdom of his slave resonated deeply within him. He no longer burned incense for the creatures, but instead worshipped the eternal Being who created them.

There prevailed at that time in Arabia a shocking custom, sprung originally from Scythia, and which, being established in the Indies by the credit of the Brahmins, threatened to over-run all the East. When a married man died, and his beloved wife aspired to the character of a saint, she burned herself publicly on the body of her husband. This was a solemn feast, and was called the Funeral Pile of Widowhood; and that tribe in which most women had been burned was the most respected. An Arabian of Setoc's tribe being dead, his widow, whose name was Almona, and who was very devout, published the day and hour when she intended to throw herself into the fire, amidst the sound of drums and trumpets.

At that time in Arabia, there was a shocking custom that originally came from Scythia and had been adopted in the Indies through the influence of the Brahmins, which threatened to spread throughout the East. When a married man died, if his devoted wife wanted to be seen as a saint, she would publicly set herself on fire on her husband's body. This was a solemn ceremony called the Funeral Pile of Widowhood, and the tribe with the most women who had been burned was the most respected. When an Arabian from Setoc's tribe died, his widow, Almona, who was very devoted, announced the day and hour she planned to throw herself into the fire, accompanied by the sound of drums and trumpets.

Zadig remonstrated against this horrible custom. He showed Setoc how inconsistent it was with the happiness of mankind to suffer young widows to burn themselves—widows who were capable of giving children to the state, or at least of educating those they already had; and he convinced him that it was his duty to do all that lay in his power to abolish such a barbarous practice.

Zadig protested against this terrible custom. He explained to Setoc how inconsistent it was with human happiness to allow young widows to burn themselves—widows who could still have children for the community or at least raise the ones they already had; and he persuaded him that it was his responsibility to do everything he could to put an end to such a cruel practice.

"The women," said Setoc, "have possessed the right of burning themselves for more than a thousand years; and who shall dare to abrogate a law which time hath rendered sacred? Is there anything more respectable than ancient abuses?"

"The women," Setoc said, "have had the right to set themselves on fire for over a thousand years; and who would dare to cancel a law that time has made sacred? Is there anything more respectable than long-standing traditions?"

"Reason is more ancient," replied Zadig: "meanwhile, speak thou to the chiefs of the tribes, and I will go to wait on the young widow."

"Reason is older," Zadig replied. "In the meantime, you speak to the tribe leaders, and I’ll go wait with the young widow."

Accordingly, he was introduced to her, and after having insinuated himself into her good graces by some compliments on her beauty, and told her what a pity it was to commit so many charms to the flames, he at last praised her for her constancy and courage.

Accordingly, he was introduced to her, and after winning her over with some compliments about her beauty, he remarked on how unfortunate it was to let so many charms go to waste. Eventually, he praised her for her loyalty and bravery.

"Thou must surely have loved thy husband," said he to her, "with the most passionate fondness."

"You must have truly loved your husband," he said to her, "with the deepest affection."

"Who, I?" replied the lady, "I loved him not at all. He was a brutal, jealous, and insupportable wretch; but I am firmly resolved to throw myself on his funeral pile."

"Who, me?" replied the lady, "I didn't love him at all. He was a cruel, jealous, and unbearable person; but I'm absolutely determined to throw myself on his funeral pyre."

The funeral pyre. The funeral pyre.—"The women," Setoc said, "have had the right to burn themselves for over a thousand years; and who would dare to overturn a law that time has made sacred? Is there anything more honorable than long-standing traditions?"


"It would appear then," said Zadig, "that there must be a very delicious pleasure in being burnt alive."


"So it seems," said Zadig, "that there must be a really delightful pleasure in being burned alive."

"Oh! it makes me shudder," replied the lady, "but that must be overlooked. I am a devotee; I should lose my reputation; and all the world would despise me, if I did not burn myself."

"Oh! it makes me shudder," replied the lady, "but I have to overlook that. I'm a devotee; I would ruin my reputation, and everyone would look down on me if I didn’t burn myself."

Zadig having made her acknowledge that she burned herself to gain the good opinion of others, and to gratify her own vanity, entertained her with a long discourse calculated to make her a little in love with life, and even went so far as to inspire her with some degree of good will for the person who spoke to her.

Zadig made her admit that she burned herself to win the approval of others and to feed her own vanity. He then entertained her with a long talk designed to make her somewhat fond of life, and even managed to inspire a bit of goodwill toward the person who was speaking to her.

"And what wilt thou do at last," said he, "if the vanity of burning thyself should not continue?"

"And what will you do in the end," he said, "if the desire to burn yourself doesn't last?"

"Alas!" said the lady, "I believe I should desire thee to marry me."

"Wow!" said the lady, "I think I want you to marry me."

Zadig's mind was too much engrossed with the idea of Astarte not to elude this declaration; but he instantly went to the chiefs of the tribes, told them what had passed, and advised them to make a law by which a widow should not be permitted to burn herself, till she had conversed privately with a young man for the space of an hour. Since that time not a single widow hath burned herself in Arabia. They were indebted to Zadig alone for destroying in one day a cruel custom that had lasted for so many ages; and thus he became the benefactor of Arabia.

Zadig was so focused on the idea of Astarte that he couldn't ignore this declaration; but he immediately went to the tribal leaders, explained what had happened, and suggested they create a law stating that a widow shouldn’t be allowed to commit suicide on a pyre until she had a private conversation with a young man for an hour. Since then, not a single widow has burned herself in Arabia. They owe it all to Zadig for ending a brutal tradition that had persisted for so long in just one day; and so, he became the benefactor of Arabia.


XII.

Dinner.

Setoc, who could not separate himself from this man in whom dwelt wisdom, carried Zadig to the great fair of Balzora, whither the richest merchants of the earth resorted. Zadig was highly pleased to see so many men of different countries united in the same place. He considered the whole universe as one large family assembled at Balzora. The second day he sat at table with an Egyptian, an Indian, an inhabitant of Cathay, a Greek, a Celtic, and several other strangers, who, in their frequent voyages to the Arabian Gulf, had learned enough of the Arabic to make themselves understood.

Setoc, who couldn’t tear himself away from this man filled with wisdom, took Zadig to the big fair at Balzora, where the richest merchants from all over the world gathered. Zadig was really pleased to see so many people from different countries all in one place. He thought of the entire world as one big family brought together at Balzora. On the second day, he sat at a table with an Egyptian, an Indian, a person from Cathay, a Greek, a Celt, and several other travelers who, during their many trips to the Arabian Gulf, had picked up enough Arabic to communicate.

The Egyptian seemed to be in a violent passion. "What an abominable country," said he, "is Balzora! They refuse me a thousand ounces of gold on the best security in the world."

The Egyptian appeared to be extremely angry. "What a terrible place Balzora is!" he exclaimed. "They’re denying me a thousand ounces of gold with the best guarantee possible."

"How!" said Setoc. "On what security have they refused thee this sum?"

"How!" said Setoc. "What reason do they have to deny you this amount?"

"On the body of my aunt," replied the Egyptian. "She was the most notable woman in Egypt; she always accompanied me in my journeys; she died on the road. I have converted her into one of the nest mummies in the world; and in my own country I could obtain any amount by giving her as a pledge. It is very strange that they will not here lend me a thousand ounces of gold on such a solid security."

"On my aunt's body," the Egyptian replied. "She was the most remarkable woman in Egypt; she always traveled with me. She died on the way. I've turned her into one of the best mummies in the world, and back home, I could get any amount by using her as collateral. It’s really odd that they won't lend me a thousand ounces of gold here with such solid security."

Angry as he was, he was going to help himself to a bit of excellent boiled fowl, when the Indian, taking him by the hand, cried out in a sorrowful tone, "Ah! what art thou going to do?"

Angry as he was, he was about to grab some delicious boiled chicken when the Indian, taking his hand, exclaimed in a sad voice, "Ah! What are you going to do?"

"To eat a bit of this fowl," replied the man who owned the mummy.

"To have a bite of this bird," replied the man who owned the mummy.

"Take care that thou dost not," replied the Indian. "It is possible that the soul of the deceased may have passed into this fowl; and thou wouldst not, surely, expose thyself to the danger of eating thy aunt? To boil fowls is a manifest outrage on nature."

"Make sure you don’t," replied the Indian. "It's possible that the soul of the deceased has passed into this bird; and you wouldn’t want to risk eating your aunt, would you? Boiling birds is clearly a violation of nature."

"What dost thou mean by thy nature and thy fowls?" replied the choleric Egyptian. "We adore a bull, and yet we eat heartily of beef."

"What do you mean by your nature and your birds?" replied the hot-headed Egyptian. "We worship a bull, and yet we eat beef with gusto."

"You adore a bull! is it possible?" said the Indian.

"You love a bull! Is that even possible?" said the Indian.

"Nothing is more possible," returned the other; "we have done so for these hundred and thirty-five thousand years; and nobody amongst us has ever found fault with it."

"Nothing is more possible," replied the other; "we've been doing this for one hundred thirty-five thousand years, and no one among us has ever complained about it."

"A hundred and thirty-five thousand years!" said the Indian. "This account is a little exaggerated. It is but eighty thousand years since India was first peopled, and we are surely more ancient than you are. Brahma prohibited our eating of ox-flesh before you thought of putting it on your spits or altars."

"A hundred and thirty-five thousand years!" said the Indian. "This claim seems a bit exaggerated. It’s only been eighty thousand years since India was first inhabited, and we are definitely older than you. Brahma forbade us from eating beef long before you even considered roasting it on your spits or altars."

Oannes—the Fish God. Oannes—the Fish God.—"You are mistaken," said a Chaldean. "It is to the fish Oannes that we owe these great benefits; and it is right that we should honor no one else but him. Everyone will tell you that he is a divine being, with a golden tail and a beautiful human head; and for three hours each day, he came out of the water to preach on land."
OANNES—THE FISH AVATAR.

"The accompanying engraving of the fish-god is from a drawing by Gentil, given in Calmet's Dictionary. The god was worshiped under the name of Dagon by the Syrians, and Oannes by the Chaldeans. The image represented the body of a fish with the head and arms of a man; and while all figures of the god are not exactly alike, they all combine a human form with that of a fish.

"The accompanying image of the fish-god comes from a drawing by Gentil, found in Calmet's Dictionary. The god was worshiped as Dagon by the Syrians and Oannes by the Chaldeans. The depiction shows a fish body with a man's head and arms; while not all representations of the god look exactly alike, they all combine human and fish forms."

"Owing to the precession of the equinoxes," says the Rev. Mr. Maurice in the Antiquities of India, "after the rate of seventy-two years to a degree, a total alteration has taken place through all the signs of the ecliptic, insomuch that those stars which formerly were in Aries have now got into Taurus, and those of Taurus into Gemini. Now the vernal equinox, after the rate of that precession, could not have coincided with the first of May less than 4000 years before Christ."

"Due to the precession of the equinoxes," says Rev. Mr. Maurice in the Antiquities of India, "at a rate of seventy-two years per degree, there has been a complete shift across all the signs of the ecliptic, so much so that the stars that were once in Aries have now moved into Taurus, and those in Taurus have shifted into Gemini. Therefore, the vernal equinox, considering that precession, could not have aligned with May 1st any less than 4000 years before Christ."

An Avatar in the form of the celestial Taurus (♉) then occurred, and Osiris was worshiped in the form of a bull, by credulous believers. Next in the course of revolving years, we have the celestial Aries, (♈) and the god then became incarnate in the form of a lamb, and in that form received the adoration of devout multitudes. Later still the Zodiacal sign had progressed to Pisces, (♓) and mankind were then called upon to worship the astrological emblem of the amphibious being called Oannes—the sacred god of the land and the sea—whose representative on earth still claims to be the Great Fisherman, and who has entangled in the meshes of his net of faith the intellects and consciences of innumerable devotees.

An Avatar in the form of the celestial Taurus (♉) then emerged, and Osiris was worshiped as a bull by naive followers. As time passed, the celestial Aries (♈) followed, and the god took on the form of a lamb, earning the devotion of many faithful. Eventually, the Zodiacal sign moved to Pisces (♓), and people were called to worship the astrological symbol of the amphibious being known as Oannes—the sacred god of both land and sea—whose representative on earth still claims the title of Great Fisherman, captivating the minds and hearts of countless believers in his net of faith.

"In Berosus and other authors," says Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis, "the being half man, half fish, called Oannes, is said to have come out of the Erythræan Sea, and to have taught the Babylonians all kinds of useful knowledge. This is clearly the fish Avatar of India; whether or not it be the I-oannes of Jonas I leave to the reader. I apprehend it is the same as the Dagon of Pegu and the fish sign of the Zodiac. Very little is known about it, but it exactly answers the description of an Avatar.

"In Berosus and other writers," says Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis, "the being that is half man and half fish, called Oannes, is said to have risen from the Erythræan Sea and taught the Babylonians various useful knowledge. This closely resembles the fish Avatar of India; whether it connects to the I-oannes of Jonas, I'll leave for the reader to decide. I believe it is the same as the Dagon of Pegu and the fish sign of the Zodiac. Very little is known about it, but it perfectly fits the description of an Avatar."

"The apostles of Jesus, I believe, were most of them fishermen. There are many stories of miraculous draughts of fish, and other matters connected with fishes, in the Gospel histories; and Peter, the son of John, I-oannes or Oannes, the great fisherman, inherited the power of ruling the church from the Lamb of God. The fisherman succeeded to the shepherd. The Pope calls himself the great fisherman, and boasts of the contents of his Poitrine.

"The apostles of Jesus were mostly fishermen, I believe. The Gospel stories include many accounts of miraculous catches of fish and other fish-related events. Peter, the son of John, known as I-oannes or Oannes, the great fisherman, inherited the authority to lead the church from the Lamb of God. The fisherman took over from the shepherd. The Pope refers to himself as the great fisherman and takes pride in the contents of his Poitrine."

"In the Pentateuch, which is the sacred book of the Israelites, we meet with no Dagon, Fish or God. But we do meet with it in the book of Judges. I believe this Dagon to be the fish Avatar of India—the Dagon of Syrian in Pegu; in fact the emblem of the entrance of the sun into Pisces.

"In the Pentateuch, which is the holy book of the Israelites, we don’t see Dagon, the Fish God. But we do find it in the book of Judges. I think this Dagon is the fish Avatar of India—the Dagon of Syria in Pegu; essentially, it symbolizes the entrance of the sun into Pisces."

"In the earliest time, perhaps, of which we have any history, God the creator was adored under the form or emblem of a Bull. After that, we read of him under the form of a calf or two calves, afterward in the form of the Ram and the Lamb, and the devotees were called lambs: then came the fish or two fishes. It is a fact, not a theory, that he was called a fish, and that the devotees were called Pisciculi or little fishes. I suppose few persons will attribute these appearances of system to accident. As we have lambs and little fishes in the followers of the Ram, Aries, and the constellation Pisces, it is only in character to have the followers of the Bull called calves, and I am by no means certain that we have not them in the Cyclops.

"In the earliest period of history we know about, God the creator was worshipped as a Bull. Later, he was represented as a calf or two calves, then as a Ram and a Lamb, with the followers referred to as lambs. Next, it shifted to a fish or two fishes. It's a fact, not just a theory, that he was called a fish, and his followers were known as Pisciculi or little fishes. I doubt anyone would consider these patterns to be mere coincidence. Just as we have lambs and little fishes among the followers of the Ram, Aries, and the constellation Pisces, it makes sense that the followers of the Bull were called calves, and I am not entirely sure that we don’t see them in the Cyclops."

"At first, no doubt, my reader will be very much surprised at the idea of the devotees having converted Jesus into the fish Avatar: but why was he called the lamb? And why were his followers called his flock, and his sheep, and his lambs? Not many circumstances are more striking than that of Jesus Christ being originally worshiped under the form of a Lamb—the actual lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world. It does not appear to me to be more extraordinary that his followers, as it is admitted that they did, should call him a fish and the believers in him pisciculi, than that they should call him a lamb, and his followers lambs. He was originally represented as a lamb until one of the popes changed his effigy to that of a man on a cross. Applying the astronomical emblem of Pisces (♓) to Jesus, does not s seem more absurd than applying the astronomical symbol of the Lamb (♈). They applied to him the monogram of Bacchus, ΙΗΣ; the astrological and alchymical mark or sign of Aries, or the Ram (♈) and, in short, what was there that was Heathenish that they have not applied to him? They have actually loaded his simple and sublime religion with every absurdity of Gentilism. I know not one absurdity that can be excepted."

"At first, my reader might be surprised by the idea that the devotees turned Jesus into the fish Avatar: but why was he called the lamb? And why did his followers refer to themselves as his flock, his sheep, and his lambs? Few things are more striking than the fact that Jesus Christ was originally worshipped as a Lamb—the true lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. It doesn’t seem more unusual to me that his followers, as is commonly acknowledged, should refer to him as a fish and call themselves pisciculi, than it is that they would call him a lamb and themselves lambs. He was originally depicted as a lamb until one of the popes changed his image to that of a man on a cross. Using the astronomical symbol of Pisces (♓) for Jesus doesn’t seem more ridiculous than using the symbol of the Lamb (♈). They applied to him the monogram of Bacchus, ΙΗΣ; the astrological and alchemical sign of Aries, or the Ram (♈), and, in short, what other pagan elements did they not apply to him? They have really burdened his simple and profound religion with every absurdity of paganism. I can’t think of a single absurdity that could be excluded."

In one of the windows of the Magnificent Cathedral of the Incarnation, erected by Mrs. A.T. Stewart, at Garden City, N.Y., is a painting representing the Sea of Tiberias. The "risen Lord," clothed in rich robes of green, scarlet, and gold, is standing on the seashore, with four of the apostles. Prominent among them is the great fisherman St. Peter, who is grasping the end of a seine. In the background is seen the mast and rigging of a fishing boat. At the feet of Christ a fire is burning, and on the coals are two fishes, like the two fishes in the Zodiacal sign Pisces (♓). The artist has thus reproduced the ancient myth, regardless of its astrological origin, and the mythical fishes of the zodiac, with other ancient Pagan emblems, now symbolize Christian faith in the so-called Cathedral of the Incarnation.—E.

In one of the windows of the Magnificent Cathedral of the Incarnation, built by Mrs. A.T. Stewart in Garden City, N.Y., there’s a painting depicting the Sea of Tiberias. The "risen Lord," dressed in vibrant green, scarlet, and gold robes, stands on the shore with four of the apostles. Among them is the great fisherman St. Peter, who is holding onto the end of a net. In the background, you can see the mast and rigging of a fishing boat. At Christ's feet, a fire is burning, with two fishes cooking on the coals, resembling the two fishes in the Zodiac sign Pisces (♓). The artist has recreated the ancient myth, ignoring its astrological roots, and the mythical fishes of the zodiac, along with other ancient Pagan symbols, now represent Christian faith in the so-called Cathedral of the Incarnation.—E.


"This Brahma of yours," said the Egyptian, "is a pleasant sort of an animal, truly, to compare with our Apis. What great things hath your Brahma done?"

"This Brahma of yours," said the Egyptian, "is a pretty interesting creature, really, compared to our Apis. What amazing things has your Brahma accomplished?"

"It was he," replied the Brahmin, "that taught mankind to read and write, and to whom the world is indebted for the game of chess."

"It was him," replied the Brahmin, "who taught people to read and write, and to whom the world owes thanks for the game of chess."

"Thou art mistaken," said a Chaldean who sat near him. "It is to the fish Oannes that we owe these great advantages; and it is just that we should render homage to none but him. All the world will tell thee, that he is a divine being, with a golden tail, and a beautiful human head; and that for three hours every day he left the water to preach on dry land. He had several children, who were kings, as every one knows. I have a picture of him at home, which I worship with becoming reverence. We may eat as much beef as we please; but it is surely a great sin to dress fish for the table. Besides, you are both of an origin too recent and ignoble to dispute with me. The Egyptians reckon only a hundred and thirty-five thousand years, and the Indians but eighty thousand, while we have almanacs of four thousand ages. Believe me; renounce your follies; and I will give to each of you a beautiful picture of Oannes."

"You’re mistaken," said a Chaldean who sat nearby. "We owe these great advantages to the fish Oannes, and it’s only right that we pay tribute to him. Everyone will tell you he is a divine being, with a golden tail and a beautiful human head; and that for three hours every day he came out of the water to speak on land. He had several children, who were kings, as everyone knows. I have a picture of him at home that I worship with proper respect. We can eat as much beef as we want; but it’s definitely a sin to prepare fish for the table. Besides, you both come from a lineage that’s too recent and lowly to argue with me. The Egyptians count only a hundred and thirty-five thousand years, and the Indians just eighty thousand, while we have records that go back four thousand ages. Trust me; abandon your foolishness, and I’ll give each of you a beautiful picture of Oannes."

The man of Cathay took up the discourse, and said:

The man from Cathay started speaking and said:

"I have a great respect for the Egyptians, the Chaldeans, the Greeks, the Celtics, Brahma, the bull Apis, and the beautiful fish Oannes; but I could think that Li, or Tien, as he is commonly called, is superior to all the bulls on the earth, or all the fish in the sea. I shall say nothing of my native country; it is as large as Egypt, Chaldea, and the Indies put together. Neither shall I dispute about the antiquity of our nation; because it is of little consequence whether we are ancient or not; it is enough if we are happy. But were it necessary to speak of almanacs, I could say that all Asia takes ours, and that we had very good ones before arithmetic was known in Chaldea."

"I have a lot of respect for the Egyptians, the Chaldeans, the Greeks, the Celts, Brahma, the bull Apis, and the beautiful fish Oannes; but I believe that Li, or Tien, as he’s usually called, is better than any bull on earth or any fish in the sea. I won’t say anything about my own country; it’s as big as Egypt, Chaldea, and the Indies combined. I also won’t argue about how old our nation is, because it doesn’t really matter if we’re ancient or not; what matters is that we’re happy. But if it were necessary to talk about calendars, I could mention that all of Asia uses ours, and that we had very good ones long before math was known in Chaldea."

"Ignorant men, as ye all are," said the Greek; "do you not know that Chaos is the father of all; and that form and matter have put the world into its present condition?"

"Ignorant people, as you all are," said the Greek; "don't you know that Chaos is the father of everything; and that form and matter have shaped the world into its current state?"

The Greek spoke for a long time, but was at last interrupted by the Celtic, who, having drank pretty deeply while the rest were disputing, imagined he was now more knowing than all the others, and said, with an oath, that there were none but Teutat and the mistletoe of the oak that were worth the trouble of a dispute; that, for his own part, he had always some mistletoe in his pocket, and that the Scythians, his ancestors, were the only men of merit that had ever appeared in the world; that it was true they had sometimes eaten human flesh, but that, notwithstanding this circumstance, his nation deserved to be held in great esteem; and that, in fine, if any one spoke ill of Teutat, he would teach him better manners.

The Greek talked for a long time but was eventually interrupted by the Celtic, who, having drunk quite a bit while the others were arguing, thought he knew more than everyone else. He swore that only Teutat and the mistletoe from the oak tree were worth arguing about; as for himself, he always carried some mistletoe in his pocket. He claimed that the Scythians, his ancestors, were the only truly worthy people to have ever existed; it was true that they sometimes ate human flesh, but despite that, his nation deserved high respect. In short, if anyone spoke poorly of Teutat, he would teach them some better manners.

The quarrel had now become warm, and Setoc feared the table would be stained with blood.

The argument had heated up, and Setoc worried that the table would end up stained with blood.

Zadig, who had been silent during the whole dispute, arose at last. He first addressed himself to the Celtic, as the most furious of the disputants. He told him that he had reason on his side, and begged a few mistletoes. He then praised the Greek for his eloquence, and softened all their exasperated spirits. He said but little to the man of Cathay, because he had been the most reasonable of them all. At last he said:

Zadig, who had been quiet throughout the entire argument, finally stood up. He first spoke to the Celtic, who had been the most passionate in the debate. He told him that he had a point and asked for a few mistletoes. Then he complimented the Greek on his eloquence and calmed everyone's frayed tempers. He said very little to the man from Cathay, as he had been the most sensible of them all. Finally, he said:

"You were going, my friends, to quarrel about nothing; for you are all of one mind."

"You guys were about to fight over nothing because you all think the same."

At this assertion they all cried out in dissent.

At this statement, they all shouted in disagreement.

"Is it not true," said he to the Celtic, "that you adore not this mistletoe, but him that made both the mistletoe and the oak?"

"Isn’t it true," he said to the Celtic, "that you don’t actually worship this mistletoe, but rather the one who created both the mistletoe and the oak?"

"Most undoubtedly," replied the Celtic.

"Definitely," replied the Celtic.

"And thou, Mr. Egyptian, dost not thou revere, in a certain bull, him who created the bulls?"

"And you, Mr. Egyptian, don't you respect, in a certain bull, the one who created the bulls?"

"Yes," said the Egyptian.

"Yes," said the Egyptian.

"The fish Oannes," continued he, "must yield to him who made the sea and the fishes. The Indian and the Cathaian," added he, "acknowledge a first principle. I did not fully comprehend the admirable things that were said by the Greek; but I am sure he will admit a superior being on whom form and matter depend."

"The fish Oannes," he continued, "has to submit to the one who created the sea and the fish. The Indian and the Cathaian," he added, "recognize a first principle. I didn’t completely understand the amazing things that the Greek said; but I’m sure he will acknowledge a higher being upon whom form and matter rely."

The Greek, whom they all admired, said that Zadig had exactly taken his meaning.

The Greek, whom everyone admired, said that Zadig had perfectly understood his meaning.

"You are all then," replied Zadig, "of one opinion and have no cause to quarrel."

"You all agree," replied Zadig, "so there's no reason to argue."

All the company embraced him.

Everyone in the company embraced him.

Setoc, after having sold his commodities at a very high price, returned to his own tribe with his friend Zadig; who learned, upon his arrival, that he had been tried in his absence and was now going to be burned by a slow fire.

Setoc, after selling his goods for a really high price, returned to his tribe with his friend Zadig; who found out upon his arrival that he had been tried while he was away and was now going to be burned alive.


XIII.

The Meetup.

During his journey to Balzora the priests of the stars had resolved to punish Zadig. The precious stones and ornaments of the young widows whom they sent to the funeral pile belonged to them of right; and the least they could now do was to burn Zadig for the ill office he had done them. Accordingly they accused him of entertaining erroneous sentiments of the heavenly host. They deposed against him, and swore that they had heard him say that the stars did not set in the sea. This horrid blasphemy made the judges tremble; they were ready to tear their garments upon hearing these impious words; and they would certainly have torn them had Zadig had wherewithal to pay them for new ones. But, in the excess of their zeal and indignation, they contented themselves with condemning him to be burnt by a slow fire. Setoc, filled with despair at this unhappy event, employed all his interest to save his friend, but in vain. He was soon obliged to hold his peace. The young widow, Almona, who had now conceived a great fondness for life, for which she was obliged to Zadig, resolved to deliver him from the funeral pile, of the abuse of which he had fully convinced her. She resolved the scheme in her own mind, without imparting it to any person whatever. Zadig was to be executed the next day. If she could save him at all, she must do it that very night; and the method taken by this charitable and prudent lady was as follows:

During his journey to Balzora, the priests of the stars decided to punish Zadig. The precious stones and ornaments of the young widows they sent to the funeral pyre rightfully belonged to them; the least they could do was burn Zadig for the wrong he had done them. They accused him of holding incorrect beliefs about the heavenly bodies. They testified against him and swore they had heard him claim that the stars didn’t set in the sea. This awful blasphemy made the judges tremble; they were ready to tear their clothes upon hearing such impious words, and they certainly would have if Zadig could have paid for new ones. However, in their overwhelming zeal and anger, they settled for condemning him to be burned at a slow fire. Setoc, filled with despair over this tragic event, did everything he could to save his friend, but it was in vain. He soon had to remain silent. The young widow, Almona, who had developed a strong attachment to life, thanks to Zadig, decided to rescue him from the pyre, having fully understood his worth. She devised a plan in her mind without telling anyone else. Zadig was set to be executed the next day, and if she was going to save him, it had to be that very night. The approach this caring and clever lady took was as follows:

She perfumed herself, she heightened her beauty by the richest and gayest apparel, and went to demand an audience of the chief priest of the stars. As soon as she was introduced to the venerable old man, she addressed him in these terms:

She put on perfume, enhanced her beauty with the richest and most colorful clothes, and went to request a meeting with the chief priest of the stars. As soon as she was introduced to the respected old man, she spoke to him in these words:

"Eldest son of the great bear, brother of the bull, and cousin of the great dog, (such were the titles of this pontiff,) I come to acquaint thee with my scruples. I am much afraid that I have committed a heinous crime in not burning myself on the funeral pile of my dear husband; for, indeed, what had I worth preserving? Perishable flesh, thou seest, that is already entirely withered." So saying, she drew up her long sleeves of silk, and showed her naked arms, which were of an elegant shape and a dazzling whiteness. "Thou seest," said she, that these are little worth. The priest found in his heart that they were worth a great deal. He swore that he had never in his life seen such beautiful arms. "Alas!" said the widow, "my arms, perhaps, are not so bad as the rest; but thou wilt confess that my neck is not worthy of the least regard." She then discovered the most charming neck that nature had ever formed. Compared to it a rose-bud on an apple of ivory would have appeared like madder on the box-tree, and the whiteness of new-washed lambs would have seemed of a dusky yellow. Her large black eyes, languishing with the gentle lustre of a tender fire; her cheeks animated with the finest pink, mixed with the whiteness of milk; her nose, which had no resemblance to the tower of Mount Lebanon; her lips, like two borders of coral, inclosing the nest pearls in the Arabian Sea; all conspired to make the old man fancy and believe that he was young again. Almona, seeing his admiration, now entreated him to pardon Zadig. "Alas!" said he, "my charming lady, should I grant thee his pardon, it would be of no service, as it must necessarily be signed by three others, my brethren." "Sign it, however," said Almona. "With all my heart," said the priest. "Be pleased to visit me," said Almona, "when the bright star of Sheat shall appear in the horizon."

"Eldest son of the great bear, brother of the bull, and cousin of the great dog—such were the titles of this priest—I come to share my doubts with you. I’m really worried that I’ve committed a terrible crime by not throwing myself onto the funeral pyre of my dear husband; after all, what did I have worth saving? Just this perishable flesh, as you see, that is already completely withered." Saying this, she pulled up her long silk sleeves and revealed her bare arms, which were elegantly shaped and dazzlingly white. "You see," she said, "these aren’t worth much." The priest felt in his heart that they were actually worth a lot. He swore that he had never seen such beautiful arms in his life. "Alas!" said the widow, "maybe my arms aren’t so bad, but you must admit that my neck doesn't deserve any attention." She then revealed the most beautiful neck that nature had ever created. Compared to it, a rosebud on a piece of ivory would look like a splash of red on a boxwood tree, and the whiteness of freshly washed lambs would appear murky. Her large black eyes, shimmering with a gentle glow; her cheeks alive with the perfect pink, mixed with the whiteness of milk; her nose having no resemblance to the tower of Mount Lebanon; her lips, like two strips of coral framing the nest of pearls in the Arabian Sea—all of this made the old man feel and believe he was young again. Almona, seeing his admiration, then urged him to forgive Zadig. "Alas!" said he, "my lovely lady, if I grant you his pardon, it won't matter, as it has to be signed by three others, my brothers." "Still, please sign it," Almona said. "With all my heart," the priest replied. "Please visit me," said Almona, "when the bright star of Sheat appears on the horizon."

Almona then went to the second pontiff. He assured her that the sun, the moon, and all the luminaries of heaven, were but glimmering meteors in comparison to her charms. She asked the same favor of him, and he also granted it readily. She then appointed the second pontiff to meet her at the rising of the star Algenib. From thence she went to the third and fourth priest, always taking their signatures, and making an appointment from star to star. She then sent a message to the judges, entreating them to come to her house on an affair of great importance. They obeyed her summons. She showed them the four names, and told them that the priests had granted the pardon of Zadig. Each of the pontiffs arrived at the hour appointed. Each was surprised at finding his brethren there, but still more at seeing the judges also present. Zadig was saved; and Setoc was so charmed with the skill and address of Almona that he at once made her his wife.

Almona then went to the second pontiff. He told her that the sun, the moon, and all the stars in the sky were just flickering lights compared to her beauty. She asked him for the same favor, and he agreed without hesitation. She then scheduled a meeting with the second pontiff at the rise of the star Algenib. After that, she visited the third and fourth priests, always getting their signatures and making appointments from star to star. She then sent a message to the judges, asking them to come to her house for an important matter. They responded to her call. She showed them the four names and informed them that the priests had granted Zadig’s pardon. Each of the pontiffs arrived at the scheduled time. They were surprised to find each other there, but even more so to see the judges present as well. Zadig was saved; and Setoc was so impressed by Almona’s skill and cunning that he immediately made her his wife.

Almona. Almona.—Almona, noticing his admiration, now pleaded with him to forgive Zadig. "Alas!" he replied, "my lovely lady, if I grant him pardon, it won't help because it needs to be signed by three others, my brothers. Still, go ahead and sign it," said Almona.

Business affairs now required Setoc's presence in the island of Serendib; but during the first month of his marriage—the month which is called the honeymoon—he could not permit himself to leave Almona, nor even to think he could ever leave her, and he requested Zadig to make the journey in his place. "Alas!" said Zadig, "must I put a still greater distance between the beautiful Astarte and myself? But it would be ungrateful not to serve my friend, and I will endeavor to do my duty."

Business matters now required Setoc to be on the island of Serendib; however, during the first month of his marriage—the month called the honeymoon—he couldn't allow himself to leave Almona, nor even to think he could ever leave her. He asked Zadig to go in his place. "Alas!" said Zadig, "Do I have to put even more distance between the beautiful Astarte and myself? But it would be ungrateful not to help my friend, and I'll do my best to fulfill my duty."

Setoc and Zadig now took leave of each other with tears in their eyes, both swearing an eternal friendship, and promising to always share their fortunes with each other. Zadig then, after having thrown himself at the feet of his fair deliverer, set out on his journey to Serendib, still musing on the unhappy Astarte, and meditating on the severity of fortune, which seemed to persistently make him the sport of her cruelty and the object of her persecution.

Setoc and Zadig said goodbye to each other with tears in their eyes, both pledging eternal friendship and promising to always share their fortunes. Zadig then, after throwing himself at the feet of his beautiful rescuer, began his journey to Serendib, still thinking about the unfortunate Astarte and reflecting on the harshness of fate, which seemed to continually make him a target of its cruelty and persecution.

"What!" said he to himself, "fined four hundred ounces of gold for having observed a bitch! condemned to lose my head for four bad verses in praise of the king! sentenced to be strangled because the queen had shoes the color of my turban! reduced to slavery for having succored a woman who was beaten! and on the point of being burned for having saved the lives of all the young widows of Arabia!"

"What!" he said to himself, "fined four hundred ounces of gold for seeing a dog! condemned to lose my head for four bad lines praising the king! sentenced to be strangled because the queen had shoes that matched my turban! reduced to slavery for helping a woman who was getting beaten! and about to be burned for saving the lives of all the young widows of Arabia!"


XIII.(1)

THE DANCE.

Arriving in due time at the island of Serendib, Zadig's merits were at once recognized, and he was popularly regarded as an extraordinary man. He became the friend of the wise and learned, the arbitrator of disputes, and the advisor of the small number of those who were willing to take advice. He was duly presented to the king, who was pleased with his affability, and soon chose him for his friend. But this royal favor caused Zadig to tremble; for he well remembered the misfortunes which the kindness of king Moabdar had formerly brought upon him. "I please the king," said he; "shall I not therefore be lost?" Still he could not refuse the king's friendship, for it must be confessed that Nabussan, king of Serendib, son of Nassanab, son of Nabassun, son of Sanbusna, was one of the most amiable princes in Asia.

Arriving on the island of Serendib at the right time, Zadig's abilities were immediately recognized, and he was widely seen as an exceptional man. He became friends with the wise and educated, the mediator in disputes, and the advisor to the few who were open to receiving advice. He was formally introduced to the king, who appreciated his friendliness and soon chose him as a companion. However, this royal favor made Zadig uneasy; he clearly remembered the troubles that king Moabdar's kindness had previously brought him. "I please the king," he thought; "does this mean I will be doomed?" Nevertheless, he couldn’t turn down the king's friendship, as it must be acknowledged that Nabussan, king of Serendib, son of Nassanab, son of Nabassun, son of Sanbusna, was one of the most pleasant rulers in Asia.

But this good prince was always flattered, deceived, and robbed. It was a contest who should most pillage the royal treasury. The example set by the receiver-general of Serendib was universally followed by the inferior officers.

But this good prince was always flattered, tricked, and taken advantage of. It became a competition to see who could steal the most from the royal treasury. The example set by the receiver-general of Serendib was followed by all the lower-ranking officials.

This the king knew. He had often changed his treasurers, but had never been able to change the established custom of dividing the revenues into two unequal parts, of which the smaller came to his majesty, and the larger to his officers.

This the king understood. He had frequently replaced his treasurers, but had never been able to alter the long-standing practice of splitting the revenues into two uneven portions, with the smaller going to him and the larger going to his officers.

This custom Nabussan explained to Zadig. "You, whose knowledge embraces so many subjects," said he, "can you not tell me how to select a treasurer who will not rob me?" "Assuredly," said Zadig; "I know a sure method for finding you a man who will keep his hands clean."

This custom Nabussan explained to Zadig. "You, with your knowledge of so many topics," he said, "can you tell me how to pick a treasurer who won't steal from me?" "Absolutely," said Zadig; "I have a reliable way to find you a person who will keep their hands clean."

The king was charmed, and asked, while he embraced him, how this was to be done.

The king was delighted and asked, while hugging him, how this would be accomplished.

"You have only," said Zadig, "to cause all those who apply for the office of treasurer to dance. He who dances the lightest will surely prove to be the most honest man."

"You just have to," said Zadig, "make everyone who wants the job of treasurer dance. The person who dances the best will definitely turn out to be the most honest one."

"You jest," said the king. "A strange way, certainly, of choosing a receiver of my revenues. What! do you pretend that he who cuts the neatest caper will be the most just and skillful financier?"

"You’re joking," said the king. "That’s certainly a strange way to choose someone to handle my finances. What? Are you suggesting that the person who dances the best will be the most fair and capable money manager?"

"I will not answer," returned Zadig, "for his being the most skillful, but I assure you he will be the most honest."

"I won’t answer," Zadig replied, "not because he’s the most skilled, but I promise you he’ll be the most honest."

Zadig spoke with so much confidence that the king imagined he had some supernatural test for selecting honest financiers.

Zadig spoke with such confidence that the king thought he had some kind of supernatural method for choosing honest financiers.

"I do not like the supernatural," said Zadig: "people and books dealing in prodigies have always displeased me. If your majesty will permit me to make the test, you will be convinced it is the easiest and simplest thing possible."

"I don't like the supernatural," said Zadig. "People and books that focus on wonders have always bothered me. If your majesty allows me to demonstrate, you'll see it's the easiest and simplest thing imaginable."

Nabussan consented, and was more astonished to hear that the test was simple, than if it had been claimed as a miracle.

Nabussan agreed and was more shocked to find out that the test was straightforward than if it had been described as a miracle.

"Leave all the details to me," said Zadig: "You will gain more by this trial than you imagine."

"Leave all the details to me," Zadig said. "You'll benefit more from this experience than you think."

The same day he made proclamation in the king's name, that all candidates for the office of receiver-in-chief of the revenues of his gracious majesty Nabussan, son of Nussanab, must present themselves in dresses of light silk, on the first day of the month of the crocodile, in the king's anti-chamber. The candidates came, accordingly, to the number of sixty-four. Musicians were placed in an adjoining room, and all was prepared for the dance. As the door of the saloon was closed, it was necessary, in order to enter it, to pass through a small gallery which was slightly darkened. An usher directed each candidate in succession through this obscure passage, in which he was left alone for some moments. The king, being aware of the plan, had temptingly spread out in this gallery many of his choicest treasures. When all the candidates were assembled in the saloon, the king ordered the band to play and the dance to begin. Never had dancers performed more unwillingly or with less grace. Their heads were down, their backs bent, their hands pressed to their sides.

The same day, he announced in the king's name that all candidates for the position of chief revenue officer for his gracious majesty Nabussan, son of Nussanab, must show up wearing light silk outfits on the first day of the crocodile month, in the king's antechamber. In total, sixty-four candidates arrived. Musicians were set up in an adjacent room, and everything was ready for the dance. With the saloon door closed, anyone wanting to enter had to pass through a dimly lit small gallery. An usher guided each candidate one by one through this dark passage, where they were left alone for a few moments. The king, knowing the plan, had laid out many of his finest treasures enticingly in this gallery. When all the candidates were gathered in the saloon, the king commanded the band to play and the dance to start. Never had dancers looked more reluctant or performed with less elegance. Their heads were bowed, backs hunched, and hands pressed to their sides.

"What rascals!" murmured Zadig.

"What troublemakers!" murmured Zadig.

One alone danced with grace and agility,—his head up, his look assured, his body erect, his arms free, his motions natural.

One dancer moved with elegance and fluidity—head held high, confident gaze, straight posture, arms relaxed, and movements effortless.

"Ah, the honest man, the excellent man!" cried Zadig.

"Ah, the good guy, the great guy!" exclaimed Zadig.

The king embraced this upright dancer, appointed him treasurer, and punished all the others with the utmost justice, for each one had, while passing through the gallery, filled his pockets till he could hardly walk. His majesty was distressed at this exhibition of dishonesty, and regretted that among these sixty-four dancers there should be sixty-three thieves. This dark gallery was then named the Corridor of Temptation.

The king welcomed this honest dancer, made him the treasurer, and dealt with the rest fairly since each had, while walking through the gallery, stuffed their pockets until they could barely move. The king was upset by this display of dishonesty and lamented that out of these sixty-four dancers, there were sixty-three thieves. This dimly lit gallery was then called the Corridor of Temptation.

In Persia these sixty-three lords would have been impaled; in other countries a chamber of justice would have consumed in costs three times the money stolen, replacing nothing in the king's coffers; in yet another kingdom they would have been honorably acquitted, and the light dancer disgraced; in Serendib they were only sentenced to add to the public treasure, for Nabussan was very indulgent.

In Persia, these sixty-three lords would have been impaled; in other countries, a court would have spent three times the amount stolen on legal fees, replenishing nothing in the king’s treasury; in yet another kingdom, they would have been honorably cleared, and the light dancer would have been disgraced; in Serendib, they were just sentenced to contribute to the public treasure, as Nabussan was quite lenient.

He was also very grateful, and willingly gave Zadig a larger sum than any treasurer had ever stolen from the revenue. This wealth Zadig used to send a courier to Babylon to learn the fate of queen Astarte. His voice trembled when directing the courier. His blood seemed to stagnate in his veins. His heart almost ceased to beat. His eyes were suffused with tears.

He was also very grateful and gladly gave Zadig a larger amount than any treasurer had ever stolen from the treasury. Zadig used this money to send a courier to Babylon to find out what happened to Queen Astarte. His voice shook while giving instructions to the courier. His blood felt like it was freezing in his veins. His heart almost stopped beating. Tears filled his eyes.


XIII.(2)

Blue Eyes.

After the courier had gone, Zadig returned to the palace; and forgetting that he was not in his own room, almost unconsciously uttered the word LOVE.

After the courier left, Zadig went back to the palace; and forgetting he wasn’t in his own room, he almost unconsciously said the word LOVE.

"Ah! love," exclaimed the king, "that is indeed the cause of my unhappiness. You have divined what it is that causes me pain. You are indeed a great man. I hope you will assist me in my search for a woman, perfect in all respects, and of whose affection I may feel assured. You have proved your ability for this service by selecting for me an honest financier, and I have entire confidence in your success."

"Ah! Love," the king exclaimed, "that is really what makes me unhappy. You've figured out what's causing me pain. You truly are a remarkable person. I hope you'll help me find a woman who is perfect in every way, someone whose love I can trust. You've already shown you can do this by choosing an honest financier for me, and I have complete faith in your success."

Zadig, having recovered his composure, promised to serve the king in love as he had in finance, although the task seemed to him far more difficult.

Zadig, having regained his confidence, promised to serve the king with love just as he had in finance, even though he felt that the task would be much more challenging.

"The body and the heart," said the king.

"The body and the heart," said the king.

At these words Zadig could not refrain from interrupting his majesty: "You show good taste," said he, "by not saying the mind and the heart; for we hear nothing but these words in the talk of Babylon. We see nothing but books which treat of the heart and mind, written by people who have neither the one nor the other: but pardon me, sire, and deign to continue."

At these words, Zadig couldn't help but interrupt the king: "You have good taste," he said, "by not mentioning the mind and the heart; because all we hear in Babylon is talk about those things. All we see are books that discuss the heart and mind, written by people who have neither. But forgive me, your majesty, and please continue."

"I have in my palace," said the king, "one hundred women who are all called charming, graceful, beautiful, affectionate even, or pretending to be so when in my company; but I have too often realized that it is to the king of Serendib they pay court, and that they care very little for Nabussan. This pretended affection does not satisfy my desires. I would find a consort that loves me for myself, and who would willingly be all my own. For such a treasure I would joyfully barter the hundred beauties whose forced smiles afford me no delight. Let us see if out of these hundred queens you can select one true woman to bless me with her love."

"I have in my palace," the king said, "a hundred women who are all called charming, graceful, beautiful, and even affectionate, or at least they pretend to be when they’re around me; but I’ve realized too often that it’s the king of Serendib they really care about, and they think very little of Nabussan. This faked affection doesn’t fulfill my desires. I want a partner who loves me for who I am, someone who truly wants to be mine. For such a treasure, I would gladly trade the hundred beauties whose forced smiles bring me no joy. Let’s see if, among these hundred queens, you can find one genuine woman to bless me with her love."

Zadig replied to him as he had previously done in regard to the finances: "Sire, allow me to make the attempt, and permit me to again use the treasure formerly displayed in the Corridor of Temptation. I will render you a faithful account."

Zadig responded to him just like he had done earlier about the finances: "Your Majesty, please let me give it a try, and allow me to use the treasure that was previously shown in the Corridor of Temptation. I'll provide you with an honest report."

The king willingly acceded to this request, and permitted Zadig to do as he desired. He first chose thirty-three of the ugliest little hunchbacks that could be procured in Serendib, then thirty-three of the handsomest pages to be found, and, lastly, thirty-three bonzes, (priests), the most eloquent and robust he could select. He gave them all liberty to enter the king's private apartments in the palace, and secure a partner if they so desired. Each little hunchback had four thousand gold pieces given to him: and on the first day each had secured a companion. The pages, who had nothing to give but themselves, did not succeed in many cases until the end of two or three days. The priests had still more trouble in obtaining partners, but, finally, thirty-three devotees joined their fortunes with these pious suitors. The king, through the blinds which opened into his apartments, saw all these trials, and was astounded. Of these hundred women, ninety-nine discarded his protection. There still remained one, however, still quite young, with whom his majesty had never conversed. They sent to her one, two, three hunchbacks, who displayed before her twenty thousand pieces of gold. She still remained firm, and could not refrain from laughing at the idea of these cripples, that wealth could change their appearance. They then presented before her the two most beautiful pages. She said she thought the king was still more beautiful. They attacked her with the most eloquent of the priests, and afterward with the most audacious. She found the first a prattler, and could not perceive any merit in the second.

The king happily agreed to this request and allowed Zadig to do as he wished. He first selected thirty-three of the ugliest little hunchbacks he could find in Serendib, then thirty-three of the most handsome pages available, and finally, thirty-three bonzes (priests), choosing the most articulate and robust ones. He gave them all the freedom to enter the king's private rooms in the palace and find a partner if they wanted. Each little hunchback was given four thousand gold pieces, and by the end of the first day, each had found a companion. The pages, who had nothing to offer but themselves, didn’t have much success until two or three days later. The priests faced even more difficulty in getting partners, but eventually, thirty-three devotees paired up with these pious suitors. The king, watching through the blinds of his apartments, was amazed by all these attempts. Out of these hundred women, ninety-nine rejected his protection. However, one remained, still quite young, with whom his majesty had never spoken. They sent one, two, three hunchbacks to her, who showed her twenty thousand gold pieces. She remained resolute and couldn't help but laugh at the idea that wealth could change the appearances of these cripples. They then presented her with the two most beautiful pages. She remarked that she thought the king was even more beautiful. They tried to impress her with the most eloquent of the priests, and then with the boldest. She found the first to be a chatterbox and saw no value in the second.

"The heart," said she, "is everything. I will never yield to the hunchbacks' gold, the pages' vanity, or the pompous prattle of the priests. I love only Nabussan, son of Nussanab, and I will wait until he condescends to love me in return."

"The heart," she said, "is everything. I will never give in to the greed of the rich, the ego of the powerful, or the empty talk of the priests. I love only Nabussan, son of Nussanab, and I will wait until he decides to love me back."

The king was transported with joy, astonishment, and love. He took back all the money that had brought success to the hunchbacks, and made a present of it the beautiful Falide, which was the name of this charming lady. He gave her his heart, which she amply deserved, for never were glances from female eyes more brilliant than her own, nor the charms of youthful beauty more enchanting. Envy, it is true, asserted that she courtesied awkwardly; but candor compels the admission that she danced like the fairies, acted like the graces, sang like the sirens, and that she was in truth the very embodiment of intelligence and virtue. Nabussan loved and adored her; but, alas! she had BLUE EYES, and this apparently trivial fact was the cause of the gravest misfortunes.

The king was filled with joy, surprise, and love. He took back all the money that had brought success to the hunchbacks and gifted it to the beautiful Falide, which was the name of this charming lady. He gave her his heart, which she definitely deserved, for no glances from a woman were more radiant than hers, nor was youthful beauty more enchanting. Envy claimed she curtsied awkwardly; however, honesty must acknowledge that she danced like a fairy, moved with grace, sang like a siren, and was truly the very embodiment of intelligence and virtue. Nabussan loved and adored her; but, unfortunately, she had BLUE EYES, and this seemingly trivial detail was the root of serious misfortunes.

There was an old law in Serendib forbidding the kings to marry those to whom the Greeks applied the word Βοῶπις. [1] A high-priest had established this law thousands of years ago. He had anathematized blue eyes in order that he might secure for himself the hand of the king's favorite. The various orders of the empire now remonstrated with Nabussan for disregarding this organic law and loving the beautiful Falide. They publicly asserted that the last days of the kingdom had arrived—that this act of royal love was the height of sacrilege—that all nature was threatened with a sinister ending—and all because Nabussan, son of Nussanab, loved two magnificent blue eyes. The cripples, the capitalists, the bonzes and the brunettes filled the kingdom with their complaints.

There was an old law in Serendib that prohibited kings from marrying anyone who the Greeks referred to as Βοῶπις. [1] This law was established thousands of years ago by a high priest who cursed blue eyes to secure the hand of the king's favorite. Now, the different groups within the empire were protesting against Nabussan for ignoring this fundamental law and loving the beautiful Falide. They publicly claimed that the end of the kingdom was near, that this act of royal affection was the height of sacrilege, that nature itself was facing a dire conclusion—all because Nabussan, son of Nussanab, was in love with two stunning blue eyes. The disabled, the wealthy, the priests, and the dark-haired women filled the kingdom with their complaints.

The barbarians of the northern provinces profited by the general discontent. They invaded the territory of the good Nabussan and demanded a tribute from his subjects. The priests, who possessed half the revenues of the state, contented themselves with raising their hands to heaven, and refused to put them in their coffers to aid the king. They chanted beautiful prayers, and left the state a prey to the invaders.

The barbarians from the northern provinces took advantage of the widespread unhappiness. They invaded the lands of the good Nabussan and demanded tribute from his people. The priests, who controlled half of the state's income, were satisfied with just raising their hands to the sky and refused to contribute any money to help the king. They recited heartfelt prayers and left the state vulnerable to the invaders.

"Oh! my dear Zadig," sadly cried Nabussan, "can you not rescue me from this impending danger?"

"Oh! my dear Zadig," Nabussan cried sadly, "can you help me escape this imminent danger?"

"Very willingly," replied Zadig: "you shall have for your defence as much money from the priests as you may desire. Leave, I pray you, without guard the property of the bonzes, and defend only your own possessions."

"Of course," replied Zadig. "You can have as much money from the priests as you need for your defense. Please, just leave the property of the priests alone and focus on protecting your own belongings."

Nabussan wisely followed this advice. The priests became alarmed, threw themselves at his feet and implored his protection. The king replied with agreeable music, and chanted forth prayers and invocations to heaven with much sweetness and melody; finally, the priests reluctantly contributed the money, and the king brought the war to a happy termination.

Nabussan wisely took this advice. The priests got worried, threw themselves at his feet, and begged for his protection. The king responded with pleasant music and sang prayers and invocations to heaven with a lot of sweetness and melody; finally, the priests reluctantly gave the money, and the king brought the war to a successful end.

Thus Zadig by his sensible advice and judicious services drew upon himself the enmity of the most powerful parties in the state. The bonzes and the brunettes swore to destroy him; the capitalists and the cripples did not spare him. They caused the good Nabussan to suspect him. "Services rendered often remain in the anti-chamber, and distrust enters into the cabinet." So said Zoroaster. Every day there were fresh accusations: the first is repelled; the second is lightly thought of; the third wounds; the fourth kills.

Thus, Zadig, with his wise advice and thoughtful actions, attracted the hostility of the most powerful factions in the state. The priests and the upper-class people vowed to ruin him; the wealthy and the disabled did not hold back either. They led the good Nabussan to doubt him. "Help given often goes unacknowledged, and suspicion creeps in." So said Zoroaster. Every day brought new accusations: the first is dismissed; the second is shrugged off; the third hurts; the fourth destroys.

Zadig was dismayed, and having now satisfactorily arranged Setoc's affairs, he only thought of leaving the island in safety.

Zadig was upset, and now that he had successfully handled Setoc's affairs, he just thought about leaving the island safely.

"But where shall I go?" said he. "If I remain in Serendib the priests will doubtless have me impaled; in Egypt I would probably be enslaved, burnt, according to all appearances, in Arabia; strangled in Babylon. However, I must learn what has become of Queen Astarte, and will go on and see what sad fate destiny has still in store for me."

"But where should I go?" he said. "If I stay in Serendib, the priests will probably have me impaled; in Egypt, I’d likely end up enslaved or, from what I can tell, burned in Arabia; strangled in Babylon. Still, I need to find out what happened to Queen Astarte, so I'll keep going and see what unfortunate fate destiny has left for me."

[1] Having large, full, finely rounded eyes. In Homer, always applied to females, and most frequently to the goddess Juno, as a point of majestic beauty.—E.

[1] Having big, round, well-shaped eyes. In Homer, this term is always used for women, and most often refers to the goddess Juno, highlighting her majestic beauty.—E.


XIV.

THE THIEF.

Arriving on the frontiers which divide Arabia Petræa from Syria, he passed by a very strong castle from which a party of armed Arabians sallied forth. They instantly surrounded him and cried:

Arriving at the borders that separate Arabia Petraea from Syria, he passed by a very strong castle from which a group of armed Arabs emerged. They quickly surrounded him and shouted:

"All thou hast belongs to us, and thy person is the property of our master."

"Everything you have belongs to us, and your body is the property of our master."

Zadig replied by drawing his sword; his servant, who was a man of courage, did the same. They killed the first Arabians that presumed to lay hands on them; and though the number was redoubled, they were not dismayed, but resolved to perish in the conflict. Two men defended themselves against a multitude; but such combat could not last long, the master of the castle, whose name was Arbogad, having observed from a window the prodigies of valor performed by Zadig, conceived a high esteem for this heroic stranger. He descended in haste, and went in person to call off his men and deliver the two travelers.

Zadig responded by drawing his sword, and his servant, a brave man, did the same. They fought off the first Arabians who tried to attack them; even when their attackers doubled in number, they stood their ground, determined to fight to the end. Two men defended themselves against a crowd; however, such a fight couldn't go on forever. The lord of the castle, named Arbogad, had seen from a window the incredible bravery displayed by Zadig and grew to admire this heroic stranger. He quickly came down and personally went to tell his men to stand down and rescue the two travelers.

"All that passes over my lands," said he, "belongs to me, as well as what I find upon the lands of others; but thou seemest to be a man of such undaunted courage, that I will exempt thee from the common law."

"Everything that crosses my land," he said, "belongs to me, just like what I find on other people's land; but you seem to be a person of such fearless courage that I will spare you from the usual law."

He then conducted him to his castle, ordering his men to treat him well; and in the evening Arbogad supped with Zadig. The lord of the castle was one of those Arabians who are commonly called robbers; but he now and then performed some good actions amidst a multitude of bad ones. He robbed with a furious rapacity, and granted favors with great generosity. He was intrepid in action; affable in company; a debauchee at table, but gay in his debauchery; and particularly remarkable for his frank and open behavior. He was highly pleased with Zadig, whose lively conversation lengthened the repast. At last Arbogad said to him:

He then took him to his castle, telling his men to treat him well; and in the evening, Arbogad had dinner with Zadig. The lord of the castle was one of those Arabians often called robbers; but every now and then, he did some good deeds amid a lot of bad ones. He stole with fierce greed and granted favors with great generosity. He was fearless in action, friendly in conversation, indulgent at the table, but cheerful in his indulgence; and he was especially known for his frank and open demeanor. He was very pleased with Zadig, whose lively conversation extended the meal. Finally, Arbogad said to him:

"I advise thee to enroll thy name in my catalogue. Thou canst not do better. This is not a bad trade, and thou mayest one day become what I am at present."

"I suggest you add your name to my list. You can’t go wrong with that. This is a good opportunity, and you might one day become what I am now."

"May I take the liberty of asking thee," said Zadig, "how long thou hast followed this noble profession?"

"Can I ask you," said Zadig, "how long you've been in this noble profession?"

"From my most tender youth," replied the lord, "I was servant to a petty, good-natured Arabian, but could not endure the hardships of my situation. I was vexed to find that fate had given me no share of the earth which equally belongs to all men. I imparted the cause of my uneasiness to an old Arabian, who said to me:

"Since my early youth," the lord replied, "I served a kind-hearted Arabian, but I couldn’t cope with the difficulties of my situation. I was frustrated to realize that fate hadn’t given me any part of the land that rightfully belongs to everyone. I shared my concerns with an elderly Arabian, who said to me:

"'My son, do not despair; there was once a grain of sand that lamented that it was no more than a neglected atom in the deserts; at the end of a few years it became a diamond, and it is now the brightest ornament in the crown of the king of the Indies.'

"'My son, don’t lose hope; there was once a grain of sand that complained it was just a forgotten speck in the deserts; after a few years, it became a diamond, and now it’s the brightest gem in the crown of the king of the Indies.'"

ZADIG AND THE BRIGAND. Zadig and the brigand.—"I suggest you add your name to my list. You couldn't make a better choice," said the robber, "This isn't a bad job, and you might one day end up being what I am now."

"This discourse made a deep impression on my mind. I was the grain of sand, and I resolved to become the diamond. I began by stealing two horses. I soon got a party of companions. I put myself in a condition to rob small caravans; and thus, by degrees, I destroyed the difference which had formerly subsisted between me and other men. I had my share of the good things of this world; and was even recompensed with usury for the hardships I had suffered. I was greatly respected, and became the captain of a band of robbers. I seized this castle by force. The satrap of Syria had a mind to dispossess me of it; but I was too rich to have any thing to fear. I gave the satrap a handsome present, by which means I preserved my castle, and increased my possessions. He even appointed me treasurer of the tributes which Arabia Petræa pays to the king of kings. I perform my office of receiver with great punctuality; but take the freedom to dispense with that of paymaster.

"This conversation left a lasting impression on me. I was like a grain of sand, and I decided to become a diamond. I started by stealing two horses. Before long, I had a group of friends. I prepared myself to rob small caravans; and gradually, I erased the differences that once set me apart from others. I enjoyed my share of the good things in life; and I was even compensated with interest for the hardships I endured. I gained a lot of respect and became the leader of a band of robbers. I captured this castle by force. The governor of Syria wanted to take it from me, but I was wealthy enough to have nothing to fear. I gave the governor a generous gift, which helped me keep my castle and expand my holdings. He even appointed me treasurer of the taxes that Arabia Petraea owes to the king of kings. I carry out my duties as collector with great reliability, but I take the liberty of skipping the role of payer."

"The grand Desterham of Babylon sent hither a petty satrap in the name of king Moabdar, to have me strangled. This man arrived with his orders. I was apprised of all. I caused to be strangled in his presence the four persons he had brought with him to draw the noose; after which I asked him how much his commission of strangling me might be worth. He replied, that his fees would amount to above three hundred pieces of gold. I then convinced him that he might gain more by staying with me. I made him an inferior robber; and he is now one of my best and richest officers. If thou wilt take my advice, thy success may be equal to his. Never was there a better season for plunder, since king Moabdar is killed, and all Babylon thrown into confusion."

"The great Desterham of Babylon sent a minor governor here in the name of King Moabdar, to have me killed. This man arrived with his orders. I was informed about everything. I had the four people he brought with him to do the job executed in front of him; after that, I asked him how much his job of killing me would pay. He replied that his fees would be over three hundred gold pieces. I then showed him that he could earn more by staying with me. I made him a lower-level thief, and now he is one of my best and richest officers. If you take my advice, your success could be as good as his. There has never been a better time for looting, now that King Moabdar is dead, and all of Babylon is in chaos."

"Moabdar killed!" said Zadig, "and what has become of queen Astarte?"

"Moabdar is dead!" said Zadig, "and what happened to Queen Astarte?"

"I know not," replied Arbogad. "All I know is, that Moabdar lost his senses and was killed; that Babylon is a scene of disorder and bloodshed; that all the empire is desolated; that there are some fine strokes to be made yet; and that, for my own part, I have struck some that are admirable."

"I don’t know," replied Arbogad. "All I know is that Moabdar went insane and was killed; that Babylon is chaotic and bloody; that the entire empire is devastated; that there are still some great opportunities to be had; and that, as for me, I’ve made some amazing moves."

"But the queen," said Zadig; "for heaven's sake, knowest thou nothing of the queen's fate?"

"But the queen," said Zadig; "for heaven's sake, do you know anything about the queen's fate?"

"Yes," replied he, "I have heard something of a prince of Plircania. If she was not killed in the tumult, she is probably one of his concubines. But I am much fonder of booty than news. I have taken several women in my excursions, but I keep none of them. I sell them at a high price when they are beautiful, without enquiring who they are. In commodities of this kind rank makes no difference, and a queen that is ugly will never find a merchant. Perhaps I may have sold queen Astarte; perhaps she is dead; but, be it as it will, it is of little consequence to me, and I should imagine of as little to thee."

"Yeah," he replied, "I’ve heard something about a prince from Plircania. If she wasn’t killed in all the chaos, she’s probably one of his mistresses. But I care more about loot than gossip. I’ve captured several women during my raids, but I don’t keep any of them. I sell them for a good price when they’re attractive, without asking who they are. In this line of business, status doesn’t matter, and an ugly queen won’t find a buyer. Maybe I sold Queen Astarte; maybe she’s dead; but honestly, it doesn’t really matter to me, and I bet it doesn’t to you either."

So saying, he drank a large draught, which threw all his ideas into such confusion that Zadig could obtain no farther information.

So saying, he took a big drink, which confused him so much that Zadig couldn't get any more information.

Zadig remained for some time without speech, sense, or motion. Arbogad continued drinking, constantly repeated that he was the happiest man in the world; and exhorted Zadig to put himself in the same condition. At last the soporiferous fume of the wine lulled him into a gentle repose. Zadig passed the night in the most violent perturbation.

Zadig stayed silent, unresponsive, and still for a while. Arbogad kept drinking, repeatedly saying he was the happiest man alive, and encouraged Zadig to feel the same. Finally, the sedative effects of the wine lulled him into a light sleep. Zadig spent the night in intense distress.

"What," said he, "did the king lose his senses? and is he killed? I cannot help lamenting his fate. The empire is rent in pieces: and this robber is happy. O fortune! O destiny! A robber is happy, and the most beautiful of nature's works hath perhaps perished in a barbarous manner, or lives in a state worse than death. O Astarte! what has become of thee?"

"What," he said, "did the king lose his mind? Is he dead? I can’t help but mourn his fate. The empire is torn apart, and this thief is thriving. Oh fortune! Oh destiny! A thief is thriving, and the most beautiful creation of nature may have died a brutal death or is living in a state worse than death. Oh Astarte! What has happened to you?"

At day break, he questioned all those he met in the castle; but they were all busy and he received no answer. During the night they had made a new capture, and they were now employed in dividing the spoil. All he could obtain in this hurry and confusion was an opportunity of departing, which he immediately embraced, plunged deeper than ever in the most gloomy and mournful reflections.

At dawn, he asked everyone he encountered in the castle, but they were all preoccupied and didn’t respond. Overnight, they had made a new capture, and now they were busy splitting up the loot. In the midst of all this chaos, the only thing he could manage to gain was a chance to leave, which he quickly took, sinking deeper than ever into his dark and sorrowful thoughts.

Zadig proceeded on his journey with a mind full of disquiet and perplexity, and wholly employed on the unhappy Astarte on the king of Babylon, on his faithful friend Cador, on the happy robber Arbogad, on that capricious woman whom the Babylonians had seized on the frontiers of Egypt. In a word, on all the misfortunes and disappointments he had hitherto suffered.

Zadig continued his journey with a troubled and confused mind, completely preoccupied with the unfortunate Astarte in Babylon, his loyal friend Cador, the lucky thief Arbogad, and that unpredictable woman whom the Babylonians had captured at the border of Egypt. In short, he was focused on all the misfortunes and setbacks he had faced so far.


XV.

THE FISHER.

At few leagues distance from Arbogad's castle he came to the banks of a small river, still deploring his fate, and considering himself as the most wretched of mankind. He saw a fisherman lying on the bank of the river, scarcely holding in his weak and feeble hand a net which he seemed ready to drop, and lifting up his eyes to heaven.

At a short distance from Arbogad's castle, he reached the banks of a small river, still mourning his fate and thinking of himself as the most miserable person on Earth. He noticed a fisherman lying on the riverbank, barely managing to hold a net in his weak and frail hand, which he seemed about to let go of, as he lifted his eyes to the sky.

"I am certainly," said the fisherman, "the most unhappy man in the world. I was universally allowed to be the most famous dealer in cream-cheese in Babylon, and yet I am ruined. I had the most handsome wife that any man in my situation could have; and by her I have been betrayed. I had still left a paltry house, and that I have seen pillaged and destroyed. At last I took refuge in this cottage, where I have no other resource than fishing, and yet I cannot catch a single fish. Oh, my net! no more will I throw thee into the water; I will throw myself in thy place."

"I’m definitely," said the fisherman, "the most unhappy man in the world. Everyone said I was the most famous cream cheese seller in Babylon, and now I’m ruined. I had the most beautiful wife any man in my situation could wish for, and she betrayed me. I even had a humble house left, and I've watched it get ransacked and destroyed. Finally, I took refuge in this cottage, where fishing is my only option, and yet I can't catch a single fish. Oh, my net! I will no longer throw you into the water; I will throw myself in your place."

So saying, he arose and advanced forward, in the attitude of a man ready to throw himself into the river, and thus to finish his life.

So saying, he got up and moved forward, looking like a man ready to jump into the river and end his life.

"What," said Zadig, "are there men as wretched as I?"

"What," Zadig said, "are there people as miserable as I am?"

His eagerness to save the fisherman's life was as sudden as this reflection. He runs to him, stops him, and speaks to him with a tender and compassionate air. It is commonly supposed that we are less miserable when we have companions in our misery. This, according to Zoroaster, does not proceed from malice, but necessity. We feel ourselves insensibly drawn to an unhappy person as to one like ourselves. The joy of the happy would be an insult; but two men in distress are like two slender trees, which, mutually supporting each other, fortify themselves against the tempest.

His desire to save the fisherman's life came as suddenly as this thought hit him. He runs to him, stops him, and talks to him with a gentle and caring attitude. People usually think that we feel less miserable when we share our suffering with others. According to Zoroaster, this isn't about being unkind but rather about necessity. We find ourselves naturally drawn to someone who's unhappy, just like we're drawn to ourselves. The happiness of the joyful can feel like an insult; however, two men in distress are like two thin trees that, by supporting each other, strengthen themselves against the storm.

"Why," said Zadig to the fisherman, "dost thou sink under thy misfortunes?"

"Why," Zadig said to the fisherman, "are you letting your misfortunes bring you down?"

"Because," replied he, "I see no means of relief. I was the most considerable man in the village of Derlback, near Babylon, and with the assistance of my wife I made the best cream-cheese in the empire. Queen Astarte, and the famous minister, Zadig, were extremely fond of them. I had sent them six hundred cheeses, and one day went to the city to receive my money; but, on my arrival at Babylon, was informed that the queen and Zadig had disappeared. I ran to the house of Lord Zadig, whom I had never seen; and found there the inferior officers of the grand Desterham, who being furnished with a royal license, were plundering it with great loyalty and order. From thence I flew to the queen's kitchen, some of the lords of which told me that the queen was dead; some said she was in prison; and others pretended that she had made her escape; but they all agreed in assuring me that I would not be paid for my cheese. I went with my wife to the house of Lord Orcan, who was one of my customers, and begged his protection in my present distress. He granted it to my wife, but refused it to me. She was whiter than the cream-cheeses that began my misfortune, and the lustre of the Tyrian purple was not more bright than the carnation which animated this whiteness. For this reason Orcan detained her, and drove me from his house. In my despair I wrote a letter to my dear wife. She said to the bearer, 'Ha, ha! I know the writer of this a little. I have heard his name mentioned. They say he I makes excellent cream-cheeses. Desire him to send me some and he shall be paid.'

"Because," he replied, "I see no way out of this. I was the most respected person in the village of Derlback, near Babylon, and with my wife’s help, I made the best cream cheese in the empire. Queen Astarte and the famous minister, Zadig, loved them very much. I had sent them six hundred cheeses, and one day I went to the city to collect my payment; but when I arrived in Babylon, I was told that the queen and Zadig had vanished. I rushed to Lord Zadig's house, whom I had never met, and found the lower-ranking officers of the grand Desterham. Armed with a royal permit, they were looting it with great loyalty and order. From there, I dashed to the queen's kitchen, where some of the lords told me that the queen was dead, some said she was in prison, and others claimed she had escaped; but they all agreed that I wouldn’t be paid for my cheese. I went to Lord Orcan's house with my wife, who was one of my customers, and asked for his help in my current trouble. He granted it to my wife but denied it to me. She was whiter than the cream cheeses that started my misfortune, and the brightness of the Tyrian purple was not more vivid than the blush that highlighted her whiteness. For this reason, Orcan kept her and turned me away. In my despair, I wrote a letter to my dear wife. She said to the messenger, 'Ha, ha! I know a bit about the writer of this. I have heard his name mentioned. They say he makes excellent cream cheeses. Ask him to send me some and he will be paid.'"

"In my distress I resolved to apply to justice. I had still six ounces of gold remaining. I was obliged to give two to the lawyer whom I consulted, two to the procurator who undertook my cause, and two to the secretary of the first judge. When all this was done, my business was not begun; and I had already expended more money than my cheese and my wife were worth. I returned to my own village, with an intention to sell my house, in order to enable me to recover my wife.

"In my distress, I decided to seek justice. I still had six ounces of gold left. I had to give two to the lawyer I consulted, two to the procurator who took on my case, and two to the secretary of the first judge. After doing all this, my case hadn't even started, and I had already spent more money than my cheese and my wife were worth. I went back to my village, planning to sell my house so I could get my wife back."

"My house was well worth sixty ounces of gold; but as my neighbors saw that I was poor and obliged to sell it, the first to whom I applied offered me thirty ounces, the second twenty, and the third ten. Bad as these offers were, I was so blind that I was going to strike a bargain, when a prince of Hircania came to Babylon, and ravaged all in his way. My house was first sacked and then burned.

"My house was worth sixty ounces of gold, but since my neighbors saw that I was poor and needed to sell it, the first person I asked offered me thirty ounces, the second twenty, and the third ten. As bad as these offers were, I was so desperate that I was about to accept one when a prince from Hircania arrived in Babylon and destroyed everything in his path. My house was looted first and then burned down."

"Having thus lost my money, my wife, and my house, I retired into this country, where thou now seest me. I have endeavored to gain a subsistence by fishing; but the fish make a mock of thee as well as the men. I catch none; I die with hunger; and had it not been for thee, august comforter, I should have perished in the river."

"After losing my money, my wife, and my house, I moved out to this countryside, where you see me now. I've tried to make a living by fishing, but the fish mock me just like the people do. I catch nothing; I'm starving; and if it wasn't for you, my great comforter, I would have drowned in the river."

The fisherman was not allowed to give this long account without interruption; at every moment, Zadig, moved and transported, said:

The fisherman couldn't share this lengthy story without being interrupted; at every turn, Zadig, touched and carried away, said:

"What! knowest thou nothing of the queen's fate?"

"What! Do you know nothing about the queen's fate?"

"No my lord," replied the fisherman; "but I know that neither the queen nor Zadig have paid me for my cream-cheeses; that I have lost my wife, and am now reduced to despair."

"No, my lord," replied the fisherman; "but I know that neither the queen nor Zadig have paid me for my cream-cheeses; that I've lost my wife, and I'm now filled with despair."

"I flatter myself," said Zadig, "that thou wilt not lose all thy money. I have heard of this Zadig; he is an honest man; and if he return to Babylon, as he expects, he will give thee more than he owes thee. But with regard to thy wife, who is not so honest, I advise thee not to seek to recover her. Believe me, go to Babylon; I shall be there before thee, because I am on horseback, and thou art on foot. Apply to the illustrious Cador. Tell him thou hast met his friend. Wait for me at his house. Go, perhaps thou wilt not always be unhappy.

"I like to think," said Zadig, "that you won’t lose all your money. I've heard about this Zadig; he's an honest guy, and if he returns to Babylon as he plans, he’ll pay you back more than what he owes. But when it comes to your wife, who isn’t so honest, I suggest you don’t try to get her back. Trust me, go to Babylon; I’ll get there before you because I’m on horseback and you’re walking. Reach out to the famous Cador. Tell him you’ve seen his friend. Wait for me at his place. Go on, maybe you won’t always be unhappy."

"O powerful Oromazes!" continued he, "thou employest me to comfort this man. Whom wilt thou employ to give me consolation?"

"O powerful Oromazes!" he continued, "You use me to comfort this man. Who will you send to give me comfort?"

So saying, he gave the fisherman half the money he had brought from Arabia. The fisherman, struck with surprise and ravished with joy, kissed the feet of the friend of Cador, and said:

So saying, he gave the fisherman half the money he had brought from Arabia. The fisherman, taken aback with surprise and filled with joy, kissed the feet of Cador's friend, and said:

"Thou art surely an angel sent from heaven to save me!" Meanwhile Zadig continued to make fresh inquiries and to shed tears. "What! my lord," cried the fisherman, "and art thou then so unhappy, thou who bestowest favors?"

"You're definitely an angel sent from heaven to save me!" Meanwhile, Zadig kept asking more questions and crying. "What! My lord," exclaimed the fisherman, "are you really so unhappy, you who gives out favors?"

"A hundred times more unhappy than thee," replied Zadig.

"A hundred times more unhappy than you," replied Zadig.

"But how is it possible," said the good man, "that the giver can be more wretched than the receiver?"

"But how is it possible," said the good man, "that the giver can be more miserable than the receiver?"

"Because," replied Zadig, "thy greatest misery arose from poverty, and mine is seated in the heart."

"Because," Zadig replied, "your greatest suffering comes from poverty, and mine is rooted in the heart."

"Did Orcan take thy wife from thee?" said the fisherman.

"Did Orcan take your wife from you?" said the fisherman.

This word recalled to Zadig's mind the whole of his adventures. He repeated the catalogue of his misfortunes, beginning with the queen's bitch and ending with his arrival at the castle of the robber Arbogad.

This word brought back all of Zadig's adventures. He went over the list of his misfortunes, starting with the queen's dog and finishing with his arrival at the castle of the thief Arbogad.

"Ah!" said he to the fisherman, "Orcan deserves to be punished: but it is commonly such men as those that are the favorites of fortune. However, go thou to the house of Lord Cador, and there await my arrival."

"Ah!" he said to the fisherman, "Orcan deserves to be punished, but it's usually guys like him who are favorites of luck. Anyway, go to Lord Cador's house and wait for me there."

They then parted: the fisherman walked, thanking heaven for the happiness of his condition; and Zadig rode, accusing fortune for the hardness of his lot.

They then went their separate ways: the fisherman walked, grateful to the heavens for his happy situation; and Zadig rode, cursing his luck for the difficulty of his fate.


XVI.

THE BASILISK.

Arriving in a beautiful meadow, he there saw several women, who were searching for something with great application. He took the liberty to approach one of them, and to ask if he might have the honor to assist them in their search.

Arriving in a beautiful meadow, he saw several women who were searching for something with great focus. He decided to approach one of them and asked if he could have the honor of helping them in their search.

"Take care that thou dost not," replied the Syrian. "What we are searching for can be touched only by women."

"Be careful not to," replied the Syrian. "What we're looking for can only be touched by women."

"Strange," said Zadig. "May I presume to ask thee what it is that women only are permitted to touch?"

"Strange," said Zadig. "Can I ask what it is that only women are allowed to touch?"

"It is a basilisk," said she.

"It's a basilisk," she said.

"A basilisk, madam! and for what purpose, pray, dost thou seek for a basilisk?"

"A basilisk, ma'am! And for what reason, may I ask, are you looking for a basilisk?"

"It is for our lord and master, Ogul, whose castle thou seest on the bank of that river, at the end of that meadow. We are his most humble slaves. The lord Ogul is sick. His physician hath ordered him to eat a basilisk, stewed in rose-water; and as it is a very rare animal, and can only be taken by women, the lord Ogul hath promised to choose for his well-beloved wife the woman that shall bring him a basilisk. Let me go on in my search; for thou seest what I shall lose if I am forestalled by my companions."

"It’s for our lord and master, Ogul, whose castle you see by the river, at the end of that meadow. We are his most humble servants. Lord Ogul is sick. His doctor has ordered him to eat a basilisk, stewed in rose water; and since it’s a very rare creature that can only be captured by women, Lord Ogul has promised to choose a woman as his beloved wife who brings him a basilisk. Let me continue my search; you can see what I stand to lose if I’m beaten to it by my companions."

THE BASILISK. The basilisk.
THE BASILISK, OR COCKATRICE.

The Basilisk, called "Cockatrice" in "holy writ," was first described by certain ancient historians of unquestioned imaginative ability, but of very doubtful veracity; and they have also enriched the popular mythology with minute descriptions of the Phoenix, the Griffin, the Centaur, the Chimera, the Unicorn, and many other fanciful and mythical creations.

The Basilisk, referred to as "Cockatrice" in the scriptures, was first described by some ancient historians with vivid imaginations but questionable accuracy; they also enriched popular mythology with detailed accounts of the Phoenix, Griffin, Centaur, Chimera, Unicorn, and many other mythical creatures.

The learned and pious naturalist, Charles Owen, D.D., of London, England, (from whose celebrated Essay Towards a Natural History of Serpents, published in 1742, the preceding engraving has been copied), tells us that "the Basilisk is a serpent of the Draconick line—the property of Africa; that in shape it resembles a cock, the tail excepted; that the Egyptians say it springs from the egg of the bird Ibis, and others, from eggs of a cock; that it is gross in body, of fiery eyes and sharp head, on which it wears a crest like a cock's comb; that it has the honor to be styled Regulus by the Latins—the little king of serpents; that it is terrible to them, and its voice puts them to flight, that, as tradition adds, its eyes and breath are killing; that dreadful things are attributed to it by the poets; and that, according to Pliny, the venom of the Basilisk is said to be so exalted, that if it bites a staff 'twill kill the person that makes use of it; but this," continues the reverend doctor of divinity, "is tradition without a voucher."

The knowledgeable and devoted naturalist, Charles Owen, D.D., from London, England (from whose famous Essay Towards a Natural History of Serpents, published in 1742, the previous illustration has been adapted), informs us that "the Basilisk is a serpent of the Draconick lineage—native to Africa; it resembles a rooster in shape, except for its tail; the Egyptians believe it hatches from the egg of the Ibis bird, while others assert it comes from rooster eggs; it has a sturdy body, fiery eyes, and a sharp head, crowned with a crest similar to a rooster's comb; the Latins see it as Regulus—the little king of serpents; it terrifies them, and its voice drives them away; tradition claims that its eyes and breath are deadly; poets have created terrifying stories about it; and according to Pliny, the Basilisk's venom is said to be so powerful that if it bites a stick, it will kill whoever uses it; however," continues the esteemed doctor of divinity, "this is a story without proof."

The "inspired" prophet Isaiah, whose writings are venerated by both Jews and Christians, and whose prophetic utterances have so long been discussed with more zeal than discretion by the sectarians, tells us, (Isaiah xiv. 29), that "Out of the serpent's root shall come forth a Cockatrice, and his fruit shall be a fiery, flying serpent." This somewhat incoherent prediction has never been satisfactorily explained by the learned commentators who are specially educated in our colleges for solving theological enigmas, and who have failed to show, to the confusion of scientists and the admiration of a believing world, how a Cockatrice may emerge from a "serpent's root," and why a Cockatrice's "fiery and flying fruit" should have formed a theme for prophetic inspiration.—E.

The "inspired" prophet Isaiah, whose writings are respected by both Jews and Christians, and whose prophetic statements have often been debated with more passion than logic by followers, tells us (Isaiah xiv. 29) that "Out of the serpent's root shall come forth a Cockatrice, and his fruit shall be a fiery, flying serpent." This somewhat perplexing prediction has never been adequately explained by the scholars trained in our colleges to resolve theological puzzles, and they have failed to illustrate, to the confusion of scientists and the admiration of a believing audience, how a Cockatrice can emerge from a "serpent's root," and why a Cockatrice's "fiery and flying fruit" should have inspired prophecy.—E.


Zadig discovers Queen Astarte. Zadig meets Queen Astarte. "In her hand, she held a small rod with which she was drawing characters in the fine sand that lay between the grass and the stream."

Zadig left her and the other Assyrians to search for their basilisk, and continued his journey through the meadow; when coming to the brink of a small rivulet, he found a lady lying on the grass, and who was not searching for any thing. Her person seemed majestic; but her face was covered with a veil. She was inclined toward the rivulet, and profound sighs proceeded from her bosom. In her hand she held a small rod with which she was tracing characters on the fine sand that lay between the turf and the brook.

Zadig left her and the other Assyrians to look for their basilisk and continued his journey through the meadow. When he reached the edge of a small stream, he saw a lady lying on the grass, who wasn't searching for anything. She seemed majestic, but her face was hidden behind a veil. She leaned toward the stream, letting out deep sighs. In her hand, she held a small rod with which she was drawing shapes in the fine sand between the grass and the water.

Zadig had the curiosity to examine what this woman was writing. He drew near. He saw the letter Z, then an A; he was astonished: then appeared a D; he started. But never was surprise equal to his, when he saw the two last letters of his name. He stood for some time immovable. At last breaking silence with a faltering voice:

Zadig was curious to see what this woman was writing. He stepped closer. He saw the letter Z, then an A; he was amazed: then came a D; he was shocked. But nothing could match his astonishment when he saw the last two letters of his name. He stood there for a moment, frozen. Finally, breaking the silence with a shaky voice:

"Oh! generous lady!" pardon a stranger, an unfortunate man, for presuming to ask thee by what surprising adventure I here find the name of Zadig traced out by thy divine hand?'

"Oh! generous lady! Please forgive a stranger, an unfortunate man, for daring to ask you what surprising adventure led me to find the name of Zadig written by your divine hand?"

At this voice and these words, the lady lifted up the veil with a trembling hand, looked at Zadig, sent forth a cry of tenderness, surprise, and joy, and sinking under the various emotions which at once assaulted her soul fell speechless into his arms. It was Astarte herself; it was the queen of Babylon; it was she whom Zadig adored, and whom he had reproached himself for adoring; it was she whose misfortunes he had so deeply lamented, and for whose fate he had been so anxiously concerned. He was for a moment deprived of the use of his senses, when he had fixed his eyes on those of Astarte, which now began to open again with a languor mixed with confusion and tenderness:

At her voice and those words, the lady lifted the veil with a trembling hand, looked at Zadig, let out a cry of tenderness, surprise, and joy, and overwhelmed by the flood of emotions that suddenly hit her soul, fell speechless into his arms. It was Astarte herself; it was the queen of Babylon; it was the woman Zadig adored, and whom he had felt guilty for loving; it was she whose misfortunes he had mourned so deeply, and for whose fate he had been so worried. He was momentarily lost for words when he locked eyes with Astarte, whose eyes were slowly beginning to open again, filled with a mix of weariness, confusion, and tenderness.

"O ye immortal powers!" cried he, "who preside over the fates of weak mortals; do ye indeed restore Astarte to me? At what a time, in what a place, and in what a condition do I again behold her?"

"O you immortal powers!" he exclaimed, "who oversee the fates of fragile mortals; are you really giving Astarte back to me? At what moment, in what location, and in what state do I see her again?"

He fell on his knees before Astarte, and laid his face in the dust at her feet. The queen of Babylon raised him up, and made him sit by her side on the brink of the rivulet. She frequently wiped her eyes, from which the tears continued to flow afresh. She twenty times resumed her discourse, which her sighs as often interrupted. She asked by what strange accident they were brought together, and suddenly prevented his answer by other questions. She waived the account of her own misfortunes, and desired to be informed of those of Zadig. At last, both of them having a little composed the tumult of their souls, Zadig acquainted her in a few words by what adventure he was brought into that meadow.

He dropped to his knees in front of Astarte and laid his face in the dust at her feet. The queen of Babylon lifted him up and made him sit beside her at the edge of the stream. She often wiped her eyes, from which fresh tears kept flowing. She started to speak twenty times, only to be interrupted by her own sighs. She asked how they had come to be together by such a strange twist of fate and interrupted his reply with more questions. She set aside her own troubles and wanted to hear about Zadig's. Finally, after both of them had settled down a bit, Zadig briefly told her how he ended up in that meadow.

"But, O unhappy and respectable queen! by what means do I find thee in this lonely place, clothed in the habit of a slave, and accompanied by other female slaves, who are searching for a basilisk, which, by order of the physician, is to be stewed in rose-water?"

"But, oh unhappy and honorable queen! How is it that I find you in this lonely place, dressed like a slave, and with other female slaves, who are looking for a basilisk that, on the physician's orders, is to be cooked in rose-water?"

"While they are searching for their basilisk," said the fair Astarte, "I will inform thee of all I have suffered, for which heaven has sufficiently recompensed me, by restoring thee to my sight. Thou knowest that the king, my husband, was vexed to see thee, the most amiable of mankind; and that for this reason he one night resolved to strangle thee and poison me. Thou knowest how heaven permitted my little mute to inform me of the orders of his sublime majesty. Hardly had the faithful Cador obliged thee to depart, in obedience to my command, when he ventured to enter my apartment at midnight by a secret passage. He carried me off, and conducted me to the temple of Oromazes, where the magi, his brother, shut me up in that huge statue, whose base reaches to the foundation of the temple, and whose top rises to the summit of the dome. I was there buried in a manner; but was served by the magi, and supplied with all the necessaries of life. At break of day his majesty's apothecary entered my chamber with a potion composed of a mixture of henbane, opium, hemlock, black hellebore, and aconite; and another officer went to thine with a bowstring of blue silk. Neither of us were to be found. Cador, the better to deceive the king, pretended to come and accuse us both. He said that thou hadst taken the road to the Indies, and I that to Memphis; on which the king's guards were immediately dispatched in pursuit of us both.

"While they're looking for their basilisk," said the beautiful Astarte, "I want to tell you everything I've been through, for which heaven has rewarded me by bringing you back to me. You know that my husband, the king, was upset to see you, the kindest person alive; and because of this, he decided one night to strangle you and poison me. You know how heaven allowed my little mute servant to inform me of his majesty's orders. Just as the loyal Cador made you leave at my command, he sneaked into my room at midnight through a secret passage. He took me away and brought me to the temple of Oromazes, where his brother, a mage, locked me inside that huge statue, whose base reaches down to the temple's foundation, and whose top stretches up to the dome. I was basically trapped there, but the mages took care of me and provided for all my needs. At dawn, the king's apothecary came into my room with a potion made from henbane, opium, hemlock, black hellebore, and aconite; and another officer went to your place with a blue silk bowstring. Neither of us could be found. To better trick the king, Cador pretended to come and accuse us both. He claimed that you had gone to India, and I had gone to Memphis; as a result, the king's guards were quickly sent after us both."

Cador concealing Astarte in the temple of Oromazes. Cador hiding Astarte in the temple of Oromazes.

"The couriers who pursured me did not know me. I had hardly ever shown my face to any but thee, and to thee only in the presence and by the order of my husband. They conducted themselves in the pursuit by the description that had been given of my person. On the frontiers of Egypt they met with a woman of the same stature with me, and possessed perhaps of greater charms. She was weeping and wandering. They made no doubt but that this woman was the queen of Babylon, and accordingly brought her to Moabdar. Their mistake at first threw the king into a violent passion; but having viewed this woman more attentively, he found her extremely handsome, and was comforted. She was called Missouf. I have since been informed that this name in the Egyptian language signifies the capricious fair one. She was so in reality; but she had as much cunning as caprice. She pleased Moabdar, and gained such an ascendency over him as to make him choose her for his wife. Her character then began to appear in its true colors. She gave herself up, without scruple, to all the freaks of a wanton imagination. She would have obliged the chief of the magi, who was old and gouty, to dance before her; and on his refusal, she persecuted him with the most unrelenting cruelty. She ordered her master of the horse to make her a pie of sweetmeats. In vain did he represent that he was not a pastry-cook. He was obliged to make it, and lost his place because it was baked a little too hard. The post of master of the horse she gave to her dwarf, and that of Chancellor to her page. In this manner did she govern Babylon. Every body regretted the loss of me. The king, who till the moment of his resolving to poison me and strangle thee had been a tolerably good kind of man, seemed now to have drowned all his virtues in his immoderate fondness for this capricious fair one. He came to the temple on the great day of the feast held in honor of the sacred fire. I saw him implore the gods in behalf of Missouf, at the feet of the statue in which I was inclosed. I raised my voice; I cried out:

"The couriers chasing me didn’t know who I was. I had barely shown my face to anyone except you, and only in the presence and by the order of my husband. They acted on the description they had of me. At the borders of Egypt, they encountered a woman of my height, possibly even more attractive. She was crying and wandering around. They had no doubt that this woman was the queen of Babylon and brought her to Moabdar. Their initial mistake made the king extremely angry, but after he looked at her more closely, he found her very beautiful and calmed down. Her name was Missouf. I've since learned that this name in Egyptian means the whimsical beauty. She truly was that, but she was as cunning as she was capricious. She charmed Moabdar and gained enough influence over him to become his wife. Her true nature then began to show itself. She freely indulged in all the whims of a reckless imagination. She demanded that the chief of the magi, who was old and had gout, dance for her; when he refused, she ruthlessly tormented him. She instructed her master of the horse to make her a pie of sweets. He protested that he wasn’t a pastry chef, but he had to make it anyway, losing his position because it ended up a bit overcooked. She gave the master of the horse's position to her dwarf and the Chancellor’s role to her page. This is how she ruled Babylon. Everyone missed me. The king, who had been a fairly decent person up until the moment he decided to poison me and strangle you, seemed to have drowned all his virtues in his excessive infatuation for this whimsical beauty. He came to the temple on the major feast day held in honor of the sacred fire. I saw him pleading with the gods for Missouf, right at the feet of the statue where I was confined. I raised my voice; I shouted:

"'The gods reject the prayers of a king who is now become a tyrant, and who attempted to murder a reasonable wife, in order to marry a woman remarkable for nothing but her folly and extravagance.'

"'The gods ignore the prayers of a king who has turned into a tyrant, and who tried to kill a sensible wife just to marry a woman known only for her foolishness and excess.'"

"At these words Moabdar was confounded and his head became disordered. The oracle I had pronounced, and the tyranny of Missouf, conspired to deprive him of his judgment, and in a few days his reason entirely forsook him.

"At these words, Moabdar was taken aback and his mind became chaotic. The prophecy I had spoken, along with the oppression of Missouf, worked together to cloud his judgment, and within a few days, he completely lost his sanity."

"His madness, which seemed to be the judgment of heaven, was the signal for a revolt. The people rose, and ran to arms; and Babylon, which had been so long immersed in idleness and effeminacy, became the theatre of a bloody civil war. I was taken from the heart of my statue and placed at the head of a party. Cador flew to Memphis to bring thee back to Babylon. The prince of Hircania, informed of these fatal events, returned with his army and made a third party in Chaldea. He attacked the king, who fled before him with his capricious Egyptian. Moabdar died pierced with wounds. Missouf fell into the hands of the conqueror. I myself had the misfortune to be taken by a party of Hircanians, who conducted me to their prince's tent, at the very moment that Missouf was brought before him. Thou wilt doubtless be pleased to hear that the prince thought me more beautiful than the Egyptian; but thou wilt be sorry to be informed that he designed me for his seraglio. He told me, with a blunt and resolute air, that as soon as he had finished a military expedition, which he was just going to undertake, he would come to me. Judge how great must have been my grief. My ties with Moabdar were already dissolved; I might have been the wife of Zadig; and I was fallen into the hands of a barbarian. I answered him with all the pride which my high rank and noble sentiment could inspire. I had always heard it affirmed that heaven stamped on persons of my condition a mark of grandeur, which, with a single word or glance, could reduce to the lowliness of the most profound respect those rash and forward persons who presume to deviate from the rules of politeness. I spoke like a queen, but was treated like a maid-servant. The Hircanian, without even deigning to speak to me, told his black eunuch that I was impertinent, but that he thought me handsome. He ordered him to take care of me and to put me under the regimen of favorites, that, so my complexion being improved, I might be the more worthy of his favors when he should be at leisure to honor me with them. I told him, that, rather than submit to his desires, I would put an end to my life. He replied with a smile, that women, he believed, were not so blood-thirsty, and that he was accustomed to such violent expressions; and then left me with the air of a man who had just put another parrot into his aviary. What a state for the first queen in the universe, and, what is more, for a heart devoted to Zadig!"

"His madness, which seemed to be a punishment from above, sparked a rebellion. The people rose up and took up arms; and Babylon, once lost in leisure and luxury, became the site of a brutal civil war. I was pulled from the heart of my statue and placed at the head of a faction. Cador rushed to Memphis to bring you back to Babylon. The prince of Hircania, learning of these disastrous events, returned with his army and created a third faction in Chaldea. He attacked the king, who fled before him with his unpredictable Egyptian. Moabdar died from his wounds. Missouf was captured by the conqueror. I, unfortunately, was taken by a group of Hircanians, who brought me to their prince's tent just as Missouf was being presented to him. You’ll be pleased to know that the prince found me more beautiful than the Egyptian; but you’ll be sorry to hear that he intended to add me to his harem. He told me, with a blunt and determined tone, that as soon as he finished a military campaign he was about to undertake, he would come to me. Imagine my despair. My ties with Moabdar were already cut; I could have been the wife of Zadig, and yet I found myself at the mercy of a barbarian. I replied with all the pride that my high status and noble feelings could inspire. I had always been told that heaven marked people of my stature with a sign of greatness, which, with just one word or a glance, could reduce those audacious and forward individuals who dared to stray from politeness to the depths of utmost respect. I spoke like a queen, but was treated like a servant. The Hircanian, without even bothering to address me, told his black eunuch that I was insolent but thought I was beautiful. He ordered him to look after me and to put me under the care of favorites, so that my complexion might improve, making me more worthy of his attention when he had time to honor me with it. I told him that rather than submit to his desires, I would end my life. He smiled and replied that he doubted women were that bloodthirsty and that he was used to such passionate expressions; then he left me with the air of a man who had just added another parrot to his collection. What a state for the queen of the universe, and, even more so, for a heart dedicated to Zadig!"

At these words Zadig threw himself at her feet, and bathed them with his tears. Astarte raised him with great tenderness, and thus continued her story:

At these words, Zadig fell to her feet and drenched them with his tears. Astarte lifted him up with deep kindness and continued her story:

"I now saw myself in the power of a barbarian, and rival to the foolish woman with whom I was conned. She gave me an account of her adventures in Egypt. From the description she gave of your person, from the time, from the dromedary on which you were mounted, and from every other circumstance, I inferred that Zadig was the man who had fought for her. I doubted not but that you were at Memphis, and therefore resolved to repair thither. 'Beautiful Missouf,' said I, 'thou art more handsome than I, and will please the prince of Hircania much better. Assist me in contriving the means of my escape. Thou wilt then reign alone. Thou wilt at once make me happy and rid thyself of a rival.'

"I now found myself under the control of a savage and competing with the foolish woman who had tricked me. She told me about her adventures in Egypt. From her description of you, the time, the camel you were riding, and every other detail, I figured out that Zadig was the man who had fought for her. I had no doubt that you were in Memphis, so I decided to go there. 'Beautiful Missouf,' I said, 'you are much more attractive than I am and will charm the prince of Hircania much better. Help me come up with a way to escape. Then you will rule alone. You will make me happy and free yourself from a rival.'

"Missouf concerted with me the means of my flight; and I departed secretly with a female slave. As I approached the frontiers of Arabia, a famous robber, named Arbogad, seized me and sold me to some merchants who brought me to this castle where ford Ogul resides. He bought me without knowing who I was. He is a voluptuary, ambitious of nothing but good living, and thinks that God sent him into the world for no other purpose than to sit at table. He is so extremely corpulent, that he is always in danger of suffocation. His physician, who has but little credit with him when he has a good digestion, governs him with a despotic sway when he has eaten too much. He has persuaded him that a basilisk stewed in rose-water will effect a complete cure. The ford Ogul hath promised his hand to the female slave that brings him a basilisk. Thou seest that I leave them to vie with each other in meriting this honor; and never was I less desirous of finding the basilisk than since heaven hath restored thee to my sight."

"Missouf helped me plan my escape, and I left quietly with a female slave. As I got close to the borders of Arabia, a notorious thief named Arbogad captured me and sold me to some merchants who brought me to this castle where Lord Ogul lives. He bought me without knowing who I was. He indulges in pleasure, only cares about living well, and believes that God put him in the world for nothing but to enjoy food. He is so extremely overweight that he is always at risk of choking. His doctor, who has little influence with him when he's able to digest food well, has complete control over him when he overeats. He has convinced him that a basilisk cooked in rose-water will cure him completely. Lord Ogul has promised to marry the female slave who brings him a basilisk. You see, I let them compete for this honor, and I have never been less eager to find the basilisk than now that heaven has restored you to my sight."

This account was succeeded by a long conversation between Astarte and Zadig, consisting of every thing that their long suppressed sentiments, their great sufferings, and their mutual love, could inspire into hearts the most noble and tender, and the genii who preside over love carried their words to the sphere of Venus.

This conversation was followed by an extended dialogue between Astarte and Zadig, filled with everything that their long-hidden feelings, significant hardships, and shared love could evoke in hearts that are both noble and tender. The spirits that govern love took their words up to the realm of Venus.

The women returned to Ogul without having found the basilisk. Zadig was introduced to this mighty lord, and spoke to him in the following terms:

The women came back to Ogul without finding the basilisk. Zadig was introduced to this powerful lord and spoke to him like this:

"May immortal health descend from heaven to bless all thy days! I am a physician. At the first report of thy indisposition I flew to thy castle, and have now brought thee a basilisk stewed in rose-water. Not that I pretend to marry thee. All I ask is the liberty of a Babylonian slave, who hath been in thy possession for a few days; and, if I should not be so happy as to cure thee, magnificent Lord Ogul, I consent to remain a slave in her place."

"May eternal health come down from heaven to bless all your days! I am a doctor. As soon as I heard you were unwell, I rushed to your castle and have brought you a basilisk stewed in rose-water. Not that I’m trying to marry you. All I ask is the freedom of a Babylonian slave who’s been in your possession for a few days; and if I’m not lucky enough to cure you, magnificent Lord Ogul, I agree to take her place as a slave."

The proposal was accepted. Astarte set out for Babylon with Zadig's servant, promising, immediately upon her arrival, to send a courier to inform him of all that had happened. Their parting was as tender as their meeting. The moment of meeting, and that of parting are the two greatest epochs of life as sayeth the great book of Zend. Zadig loved the queen with as much ardor as he professed; and the queen loved Zadig more than she thought proper to acknowledge.

The proposal was accepted. Astarte set off for Babylon with Zadig's servant, promising that as soon as she arrived, she would send a courier to update him on everything that had happened. Their goodbye was as emotional as their reunion. The moment of meeting and the moment of parting are the two most significant events in life, as stated in the great book of Zend. Zadig loved the queen with all the passion he claimed; and the queen loved Zadig even more than she cared to admit.

Meanwhile Zadig spoke thus to Ogul:

Meanwhile, Zadig said to Ogul:

"My lord, my basilisk is not to be eaten; all its virtues must enter through thy pores. I have inclosed it in a little ball, blown up and covered with a fine skin. Thou must strike this ball with all thy might, and I must strike it back for a considerable time; and by observing this regimen for a few days, thou wilt see the effects of my art."

"My lord, my basilisk isn't meant to be eaten; its benefits must pass through your skin. I've put it inside a small ball, inflated and covered with a nice skin. You need to hit this ball with all your strength, and I will hit it back for quite some time; after following this routine for a few days, you'll see the results of my work."

The first day Ogul was out of breath, and thought he should have died with fatigue. The second, he was less fatigued, and slept better. In eight days he recovered all the strength, all the health, all the agility and cheerfulness of his most agreeable years.

The first day, Ogul was out of breath and felt like he should have collapsed from exhaustion. By the second day, he was less worn out and slept better. In just eight days, he regained all his strength, health, agility, and the happiness of his best years.

"Thou hast played at ball, and hast been temperate," said Zadig. "Know that there is no such thing in nature as a basilisk; that temperance and exercise are the two great preservatives of health; and that the art of reconciling intemperance and health is as chimerical as the philosopher's stone, judicial astrology, or the theology of the magi."

"You've played ball and been moderate," said Zadig. "Know that there's no such thing in nature as a basilisk; that moderation and exercise are the two main things that keep you healthy; and that the idea of balancing excess and health is as unrealistic as the philosopher's stone, astrology, or the theology of the magi."

Ogul's first physician observing how dangerous this man might prove to the medical art, formed a design, in conjunction with the apothecary, to send Zadig to search for a basilisk in the other world. Thus, after having suffered such a long train of calamities on account of his good actions, he was now upon the point of losing his life for curing a gluttonous lord. He was invited to an excellent dinner, and was to have been poisoned in the second course; but, during the first, he happily received a courier from the fair Astarte.

Ogul's first doctor, realizing how dangerous this man could be to the practice of medicine, teamed up with the pharmacist to send Zadig to look for a basilisk in the afterlife. After enduring so many misfortunes because of his good deeds, he was now about to lose his life for healing a greedy lord. He had been invited to a lavish dinner, where he was supposed to be poisoned during the second course; however, during the first course, he luckily received a message from the beautiful Astarte.

"When one is beloved by a beautiful woman," says the great Zoroaster, "he hath always the good fortune to extricate himself out of every kind of difficulty and danger."

"When you're loved by a beautiful woman," says the great Zoroaster, "you always have the luck to get yourself out of every kind of trouble and danger."


XVII.

THE FIGHTS.

The queen was received at Babylon with all those transports of joy which are ever felt on the return of a beautiful princess who hath been involved in calamities. Babylon was now in greater tranquillity. The prince of Hircania had been killed in battle. The victorious Babylonians declared that the queen should marry the man whom they should choose for their sovereign. They were resolved that the first place in the world, that of being husband to Astarte and king of Babylon, should not depend on cabals and intrigues. They swore to acknowledge for king the man who, upon trial, should be found to be possessed of the greatest valor and the greatest wisdom. Accordingly, at the distance of a few leagues from the city, a spacious place was marked out for the list, surrounded with magnificent amphitheatres. Thither the combatants were to repair in complete armor. Each of them had a separate apartment behind the amphitheatres, where they were neither to be seen nor known by any one. Each was to encounter four knights; and those that were so happy as to conquer four, were then to engage with one another: so that he who remained the last master of the field, would be proclaimed conqueror at the games. Four days after he was to return to the same place, and to explain the enigmas proposed by the magi. If he did not explain the enigmas, he was not king; and the running at the lances was to begin afresh, till a man should be found who was conqueror in both these combats; for they were absolutely determined to have a king possessed of the greatest wisdom and the most invincible courage. The queen was all the while to be strictly guarded. She was only allowed to be present at the games, and even there she was to be covered with a veil; but was not allowed to speak to any of the competitors, that so they might neither receive favor, nor suffer injustice.

The queen was welcomed in Babylon with all the joy that comes with the return of a beautiful princess who has faced hardships. Babylon was now more peaceful. The prince of Hircania had been killed in battle. The victorious Babylonians declared that the queen would marry whoever they chose as their king. They were determined that the highest position in the world, being Astarte's husband and king of Babylon, would not rely on schemes and plots. They vowed to accept as king the man who, after a trial, showed the greatest bravery and wisdom. So a large area a few miles outside the city was set up for the tournament, surrounded by stunning amphitheaters. The competitors were to show up fully armored. Each had a private space behind the amphitheaters, where they would remain unseen and unknown. Each would face four knights; those fortunate enough to defeat all four would then fight each other, so that the last person standing would be declared the winner of the games. Four days later, that person was to return to the same place to solve the riddles presented by the magi. If he couldn’t solve the riddles, he wouldn’t be king, and the jousting would start up again until someone emerged victorious in both competitions; for they were absolutely set on having a king with both the greatest wisdom and unbeatable courage. The queen was to be kept under strict watch. She could only attend the games, and even then she had to be veiled; she was not allowed to speak to any of the competitors, so that none would gain favor or suffer injustice.

These particulars Astarte communicated to her lover, hoping that, in order to obtain her, he would show himself possessed of greater courage and wisdom than any other person.

These details Astarte shared with her lover, hoping that, to win her over, he would demonstrate more courage and wisdom than anyone else.

Zadig set out on his journey, beseeching Venus to fortify his courage and enlighten his understanding. He arrived on the banks of the Euphrates on the eve of this great day. He caused his device to be inscribed among those of the combatants, concealing his face and his name, as the law ordained; and then went to repose himself in the apartment that fell to him by lot. His friend, Cador, who after the fruitless search he had made for him in Egypt, had now returned to Babylon, sent to his tent a complete suit of armor, which was a present from the queen; as also from himself, one of the finest horses in Persia. Zadig presently perceived that these presents were sent by Astarte; and from thence his courage derived fresh strength, and his love the most animating hopes.

Zadig set out on his journey, asking Venus to strengthen his courage and clarify his understanding. He arrived at the banks of the Euphrates on the eve of this significant day. He had his emblem inscribed among those of the competitors, hiding his face and name as required by law; then he went to rest in the room that was assigned to him by chance. His friend, Cador, who had returned to Babylon after searching for him in Egypt without success, sent a complete set of armor to his tent, a gift from the queen, as well as one of the finest horses in Persia from himself. Zadig quickly realized that these gifts were from Astarte, which fueled his courage and filled his love with hopeful excitement.

Next day, the queen being seated under a canopy of jewels, and the amphitheatres filled with all the gentlemen and ladies of rank in Babylon, the combatants appeared in the circus. Each of them came and laid his device at the feet of the grand magi. They drew their devices by lot; and that of Zadig was the last. The first who advanced was a certain lord, named Itobad, very rich and very vain, but possessed of little courage, of less address, and scarcely of any judgment at all. His servants had persuaded him that such a man as he ought to be king. He had said in reply, "Such a man as I ought to reign;" and thus they had armed him cap-a-pie. He wore an armor of gold enameled with green, a plume of green feathers, and a lance adorned with green ribbons. It was instantly perceived by the manner in which Itobad managed his horse, that it was not for such a man as him that heaven reserved the sceptre of Babylon. The first knight that ran against him threw him out of his saddle: the second laid him flat on his horse's buttocks, with his legs in the air, and his arms extended. Itobad recovered himself, but with so bad a grace, that the whole amphitheatre burst out a laughing. The third knight disdained to make use of his lance; but, making a pass at him, took him by the right leg, and wheeling him half round, laid him prostrate on the sand. The squires of the games ran to him laughing, and replaced him in his saddle. The fourth combatant took him by the left leg, and tumbled him down on the other side. He was conducted back with scornful shouts to his tent, where, according to the law, he was to pass the night; and as he limped along with great difficulty, he said: "What an adventure for such a man as I!"

The next day, the queen sat under a canopy of jewels, and the amphitheater was filled with all the nobles of Babylon. The combatants entered the arena. Each one presented their banner to the grand magi. They drew lots for their positions, and Zadig ended up going last. The first to step forward was a wealthy and vain lord named Itobad, who had little courage, even less skill, and was almost completely lacking in judgment. His servants had convinced him that someone like him should be king. He replied, "Someone like me should reign," and they had fully armored him. He wore gold armor decorated with green enamel, a plume of green feathers, and a lance with green ribbons. It quickly became clear by the way Itobad handled his horse that the scepter of Babylon was not destined for someone like him. The first knight who charged at him knocked him off his saddle; the second sent him crashing down on his horse's rear, legs in the air and arms stretched out. Itobad managed to pick himself up, but he did so so awkwardly that the entire amphitheater erupted in laughter. The third knight didn't even use his lance; instead, he grabbed Itobad by the right leg, spun him around, and threw him onto the sand. The squires for the games rushed over, laughing, and helped him back onto his saddle. The fourth combatant then grabbed him by the left leg and tossed him down on the other side. He was sent back to his tent amid mock cheers, where he would spend the night according to the rules. As he limped away with great difficulty, he muttered, "What an experience for someone like me!"

The combats. The fights.

The other knights acquitted themselves with greater ability and success. Some of them conquered two combatants; a few of them vanquished three; but none but prince of Otamus conquered four. At last Zadig fought in his turn. He successively threw four knights off their saddles with all the grace imaginable. It then remained to be seen who should be conqueror, of Otamus or Zadig. The arms of the first were gold and blue, with a plume of the same color; those of the last were white. The wishes of all the spectators were divided between the knight in blue and the knight in white. The queen, whose heart was in a violent palpitation, offered prayers to heaven for the success of the white color.

The other knights performed with more skill and success. Some of them defeated two opponents; a few took down three; but only Prince Otamus managed to conquer four. Finally, it was Zadig's turn to fight. He skillfully threw four knights off their saddles with incredible grace. It then came down to who would be the victor, Otamus or Zadig. The first wore armor of gold and blue, with a plume to match; the other was dressed in white. The crowd's hopes were split between the knight in blue and the knight in white. The queen, her heart racing, prayed to the heavens for the success of the knight in white.

The two champions made their passes and vaults with so much agility, they mutually gave and received such dexterous blows with their lances, and sat so firmly in their saddles, that every body but the queen wished there might be two kings in Babylon. At length, their horses being tired and their lances broken, Zadig had recourse to this stratagem: He passed behind the blue prince; springs upon the buttocks of his horse; seizes him by the middle; throws him on the earth; places himself in the saddle, and wheels around Otamus as he lay extended on the ground. All the amphitheatre cried out, "Victory to the white knight!" Otamus rises in a violent passion, and draws his sword; Zadig leaps from his horse with his sabre in his hand. Both of them are now on the ground, engaged in a new combat, where strength and agility triumph by turns. The plumes of their helmets, the studs of their bracelets, and the rings of their armor are driven to a great distance by the violence of a thousand furious blows. They strike with the point and the edge; to the right, to the left; on the head, on the breast; they retreat; they advance; they measure swords; they close; they seize each other; they bend like serpents; they attack like lions; and the fire every moment flashes from their blows. At last Zadig, having recovered his spirits, stops; makes a feint; leaps upon Otamus; throws him on the ground and disarms him; and Otamus cries out:

The two champions moved with such agility as they charged and vaulted, exchanging precise blows with their lances, and stayed so firmly in their saddles, that everyone but the queen wished there were two kings in Babylon. Eventually, their horses grew tired and their lances broke, prompting Zadig to implement a clever strategy: he slipped behind the blue prince, jumped onto the back of his horse, grabbed him around the waist, threw him to the ground, took his place in the saddle, and spun around Otamus as he lay on the ground. The entire amphitheater shouted, "Victory to the white knight!" Otamus jumped up, furious, and drew his sword; Zadig hopped off his horse, saber in hand. Now both were on the ground, engaged in a fierce new fight, where strength and agility alternately prevailed. The feathers on their helmets, the studs on their bracelets, and the rings on their armor flew far away from the force of their violent blows. They attacked with the point and the edge; to the right, to the left; on the head, on the chest; they retreated and advanced; they measured their swords; they closed in; they grappled with each other; they twisted like serpents; they struck like lions; and sparks flashed from their blows with every exchange. Finally, after regaining his energy, Zadig paused, feigned an attack, jumped on Otamus, threw him to the ground, and disarmed him. Otamus cried out:

"It is thou alone, O white knight, that oughtest to reign over Babylon!"

"It’s you alone, O white knight, who should rule over Babylon!"

The queen was now at the height of her joy. The knight in blue armor, and the knight in white, were conducted each to his own apartment, as well as all the others, according to the intention of the law. Mutes came to wait upon them, and to serve them at table. It may be easily supposed that the queen's little mute waited upon Zadig. They were then left to themselves to enjoy the sweets of repose till next morning, at which time the conqueror was to bring his device to the grand magi, to compare it with that which he had left, and make himself known.

The queen was filled with joy. The knight in blue armor and the knight in white were each taken to their own rooms, along with the others, as the law intended. Servants came to attend to them and serve them at the table. It's easy to imagine that the queen's little servant waited on Zadig. They were then left alone to enjoy some peace until the next morning, when the winner was to present his design to the grand magicians to compare it with the one he had submitted earlier and to reveal his identity.

Zadig, though deeply in love, was so much fatigued that he could not help sleeping. Itobad, who lay near him, never closed his eyes. He arose in the night, entered his apartment, took the white arms and the device of Zadig, and put his green armor in their place. At break of day, he went boldly to the grand magi, to declare that so great a man as he was conqueror. This was little expected; however, he was proclaimed while Zadig was still asleep. Astarte, surprised and filled with despair, returned to Babylon. The amphitheatre was almost empty when Zadig awoke; he sought for his arms but could find none but the green armor. With this he was obliged to cover himself, having nothing else near him. Astonished and enraged, he put it on in a furious passion and advanced in this equipage.

Zadig, though deeply in love, was so exhausted that he couldn’t help but fall asleep. Itobad, who was lying nearby, never closed his eyes. He got up during the night, went into his room, took Zadig's white armor and insignia, and replaced them with his green armor. At dawn, he boldly approached the grand magi to announce that he had defeated such a great man as Zadig. This was unexpected; however, he was celebrated while Zadig was still asleep. Astarte, shocked and filled with despair, returned to Babylon. The amphitheater was nearly empty when Zadig finally woke up; he looked for his armor but could only find the green one. Having nothing else nearby, he had to put it on. Astonished and furious, he donned it in a fit of rage and moved forward in this outfit.

The people that still remained in the amphitheatre and the circus received him with hoofs and hisses. They surrounded him, and insulted him to his face. Never did man suffer such cruel mortifications. He lost his patience; with his sabre he dispersed such of the populace as dared to affront him; but he knew not what course to take. He could not see the queen; he could not claim the white armor she had sent him without exposing her; and thus, while she was plunged in grief, he was filled with fury and distraction. He walked on the banks of the Euphrates, fully persuaded that his star had destined him to inevitable misery; and revolving in his mind all his misfortunes, from the adventure of the woman who hated one-eyed men, to that of his armor:

The people still left in the amphitheater and the circus greeted him with boos and jeers. They surrounded him and insulted him right to his face. No man had ever endured such harsh humiliations. He lost his temper; with his sword, he pushed back those in the crowd who dared to confront him, but he had no idea what to do next. He couldn’t see the queen; he couldn’t claim the white armor she had sent him without putting her in danger. So, while she was in deep sorrow, he was filled with rage and distraction. He walked along the banks of the Euphrates, convinced that fate had doomed him to unavoidable misery, reflecting on all his misfortunes—from the incident with the woman who hated one-eyed men to the issue with his armor.

"This," said he, "is the consequence of my having slept too long. Had I slept less, I should now have been king of Babylon, and in possession of Astarte. Knowledge, virtue, and courage, have hitherto served only to make me miserable."

"This," he said, "is what happens when I sleep too long. If I had slept less, I would be the king of Babylon right now, and I would have Astarte. Knowledge, virtue, and courage have only made me miserable so far."

He then let fall some secret murmurings against providence, and was tempted to believe that the world was governed by a cruel destiny, which oppressed the good, and prospered knights in green armor.

He then whispered some secret complaints about fate and felt tempted to believe that the world was controlled by a cruel destiny that oppressed the good and favored knights in green armor.


XVIII.

THE HERMIT.

One of Zadig's greatest mortifications was his being obliged to wear that green armor which had exposed him to such contumelious treatment. A merchant happening to pass by, he sold it to him for a trifle, and bought a gown and a long bonnet. In this garb he proceeded along the banks of the Euphrates, filled with despair, and secretly accusing providence, which thus continued to persecute him with unremitting severity.

One of Zadig's biggest embarrassments was having to wear that green armor which had subjected him to such disrespectful treatment. When a merchant happened to pass by, he sold it to him for a little money and bought a robe and a long hat. In this outfit, he walked along the banks of the Euphrates, filled with despair, and secretly blaming fate, which continued to treat him with relentless harshness.

While he was thus sauntering along, he met a hermit whose white and venerable beard hung down to his girdle. He held a book in his hand, which he read with great attention. Zadig stopped, and made him a profound obeisance. The hermit returned the compliment with such a noble and engaging air, that Zadig had the curiosity to enter into conversation with him. He asked him what book it was that he had been reading.

While he was strolling along, he met a hermit whose long white beard reached his waist. He was deeply focused on a book he held in his hand. Zadig paused and bowed respectfully. The hermit responded with a noble and charming demeanor, which piqued Zadig's curiosity to start a conversation with him. He asked what book he had been reading.

"It is the book of destinies," said the hermit. "Wouldst thou choose to look into it?"

"It is the book of destinies," said the hermit. "Would you like to look into it?"

He put the book into the hands of Zadig, who, thoroughly versed as he was in several languages, could not decipher a single character of it. This only redoubled his curiosity.

He handed the book to Zadig, who, despite being well-versed in several languages, couldn't make sense of any of it. This only increased his curiosity.

"Thou seemest," said the good father, "to be in great distress."

"You seem," said the good father, "to be in great distress."

"Alas!" replied Zadig, "I have but too much reason."

"Unfortunately!" replied Zadig, "I have more than enough reason."

"If thou wilt permit me to accompany thee," resumed the old man, "perhaps I may be of some service to thee. I have often poured the balm of consolation into the bleeding heart of the unhappy."

"If you allow me to join you," the old man continued, "I might be able to help you. I've often provided comfort to those with broken hearts."

Zadig felt himself inspired with respect for the dignity, the beard, and the book of the hermit. He found, in the course of the conversation, that he was possessed of superior degrees of knowledge. The hermit talked of fate, of justice, of morals, of the chief good, of human weakness, and of virtue and vice, with such a spirited and moving eloquence, that Zadig felt himself drawn toward him by an irresistible charm. He earnestly entreated the favor of his company till their return to Babylon.

Zadig felt a deep respect for the dignity, the beard, and the book of the hermit. During their conversation, he realized that the hermit had considerable knowledge. The hermit spoke about fate, justice, morality, the greater good, human flaws, and virtue versus vice with such passionate and compelling eloquence that Zadig felt an irresistible attraction towards him. He earnestly asked for the pleasure of his company until they returned to Babylon.

"I ask the same favor of thee," said the old man. "Swear to me by Oromazes that, whatever I do, thou wilt not leave me for some days."

"I ask the same favor from you," said the old man. "Swear to me by Oromazes that, no matter what I do, you won't leave me for a few days."

Zadig swore, and they set out together. In the evening the two travelers arrived at a superb castle. The hermit entreated a hospitable reception for himself and the young man who accompanied him. The porter, whom one might have mistaken for a great lord, introduced them with a kind of disdainful civility. He presented them to a principal domestic, who showed them his master's magnificent apartments. They were admitted to the lower end of the table, without being honored with the least mark of regard by the lord of the castle; but they were served, like the rest, with delicacy and profusion. They were then presented, in a golden basin adorned with emeralds and rubies, with water to wash their hands. At last they were conducted to bed in a beautiful apartment; and in the morning a domestic brought each of them a piece of gold, after which they took their leave and departed.

Zadig swore, and they set off together. In the evening, the two travelers reached an impressive castle. The hermit requested a warm welcome for himself and the young man accompanying him. The porter, who could easily be mistaken for a high-ranking lord, greeted them with a somewhat disdainful politeness. He introduced them to a main servant, who showed them his master's lavish rooms. They were seated at the lower end of the table, without receiving any acknowledgment from the castle's lord, but they were served with care and plenty, just like the others. They were then given water to wash their hands in a golden basin decorated with emeralds and rubies. Finally, they were shown to a lovely room for the night; in the morning, a servant brought each of them a piece of gold, after which they took their leave and left.

"The master of the house," said Zadig, as they were proceeding on the journey, "appears to be a generous man, though somewhat too proud. He nobly performs the duties of hospitality."

"The master of the house," said Zadig as they continued their journey, "seems to be a generous man, although he is a bit too proud. He carries out the responsibilities of hospitality nobly."

At that instant he observed that a kind of large pocket, which the hermit had, was filled and distended; and upon looking more narrowly, he found that it contained the golden basin adorned with precious stones, which the hermit had stolen. He durst not then take any notice of it; but he was filled with a strange surprise.

At that moment, he noticed that a large pocket belonging to the hermit was stuffed and bulging. Upon a closer look, he discovered it held the golden basin decorated with precious stones that the hermit had stolen. He didn't dare say anything about it; instead, he was overwhelmed with a strange sense of surprise.

About noon the hermit came to the door of a paltry house, inhabited by a rich miser, and begged the favor of an hospitable reception for a few hours. An old servant, in a tattered garb, received them with a blunt and rude air, and led them into the stable, where he gave them some rotten olives, sour wine, and mouldy bread. The hermit ate and drank with as much seeming satisfaction as he had done the evening before, and then addressing himself to the old servant who watched them both to prevent them stealing anything, and had rudely pressed them to depart, he gave him the two pieces of gold he had received in the morning, and thanked him for his great civility.

About noon, the hermit arrived at the door of a shabby house owned by a greedy miser and asked for a few hours of hospitality. An old servant, dressed in rags, greeted them with a blunt and rude demeanor, then led them to the stable where he offered them some rotten olives, sour wine, and moldy bread. The hermit ate and drank with as much apparent satisfaction as he had the night before, and then, turning to the old servant who was watching them closely to prevent any theft and had rudely urged them to leave, he handed him the two gold coins he had received that morning and thanked him for his exceptional hospitality.

"Pray," added he, "allow me to speak to thy master."

"Please," he said, "let me speak to your master."

The servant, filled with astonishment, introduced the two travelers.

The servant, amazed, introduced the two travelers.

"Magnificent lord!" said the hermit, "I cannot but return thee my most humble thanks for the noble manner in which thou hast entertained us. Be pleased to accept of this golden basin as a small mark of my gratitude."

"Magnificent lord!" said the hermit, "I can't help but express my deepest thanks for the generous way you've hosted us. Please accept this golden basin as a small token of my appreciation."

The miser started, and was ready to fall backwards; but the hermit, without giving him time to recover from his surprise, instantly departed with his young fellow traveler.

The miser jumped back, almost falling over; but the hermit, without giving him a moment to regain his composure, quickly left with his young companion.

"Father," said Zadig, "what is the meaning of all this? Thou seemest to me to be entirely different from other men. Thou stealest a golden basin adorned with precious stones, from a lord who received thee magnificently, and givest it to a miser who treats thee with indignity."

"Father," said Zadig, "what does all this mean? You seem completely different from other men. You steal a golden basin decorated with precious stones from a lord who welcomed you generously, and give it to a miser who treats you poorly."

"Son," replied the old man, "this magnificent lord, who receives strangers only from vanity and ostentation, will hereby be rendered more wise; and the miser will learn to practice the duties of hospitality. Be surprised at nothing, but follow me."

"Son," replied the old man, "this great lord, who only welcomes strangers out of vanity and show, will become wiser because of this; and the miser will learn to embrace the responsibilities of hospitality. Don't be surprised by anything, just follow me."

Zadig knew not as yet whether he was in company with the most foolish or the most prudent of mankind' but the hermit spoke with such an ascendency that Zadig, who was moreover bound by his oath, could not refuse to follow him.

Zadig didn't yet know if he was with the most foolish or the wisest person around, but the hermit spoke with such authority that Zadig, who was also bound by his oath, couldn't say no to following him.

In the evening they arrived at a house built with equal elegance and simplicity, where nothing savored either of prodigality or avarice. The master of it was a philosopher who had retired from the world, and who cultivated in peace the study of virtue and wisdom, without any of that rigid and morose severity so commonly found in men of his character. He had chosen to build this fine house in which he received strangers with a generosity free from ostentation. He went himself to meet the two travelers, whom he led into a commodious apartment, and desired them to repose themselves. Soon after he came and invited them to a decent and well ordered repast, during which he spoke with great judgment of the last revolutions in Babylon. He seemed to be strongly attached to the queen, and wished that Zadig had appeared in the lists to contend for the crown.

In the evening, they arrived at a house that was equally elegant and simple, where nothing felt extravagant or stingy. The owner was a philosopher who had stepped back from the world and peacefully devoted himself to the study of virtue and wisdom, without the usual rigid and gloomy demeanor often seen in people like him. He chose to build this lovely house where he welcomed guests with unpretentious generosity. He personally greeted the two travelers, leading them into a comfortable room and encouraging them to rest. Shortly after, he returned and invited them to a modest and well-organized meal, during which he spoke thoughtfully about the recent events in Babylon. He appeared to have a strong attachment to the queen and wished that Zadig had participated in the contest for the crown.

"But the people," added he, "do not deserve to have such a king as Zadig."

"But the people," he added, "don’t deserve a king like Zadig."

Zadig blushed and felt his griefs redoubled. They agreed, in the course of the conversation, that the things of this world did not always answer the wishes of the wise. The hermit maintained that the ways of providence were inscrutable; and that men were in the wrong to judge of a whole, of which they understood but the smallest part. They talked of the passions.

Zadig blushed and felt his sorrows intensify. During their conversation, they agreed that the things in this world don’t always fulfill the desires of the wise. The hermit argued that the ways of providence are mysterious and that people are wrong to judge the whole based on only a tiny fraction they understand. They discussed the passions.

"Ah," said Zadig, "how fatal are their effects!"

"Ah," said Zadig, "how disastrous are their consequences!"

"They are the winds," replied the hermit, "that swell the sails of the ship; it is true, they sometimes sink her, but without them she could not sail at all. The bile makes us sick and choleric but without the bile we could not live. Everything in this world is dangerous, and yet everything in it is necessary."

"They are the winds," said the hermit, "that fill the sails of the ship; it's true, they can sometimes cause it to sink, but without them, it wouldn't be able to sail at all. The bile makes us feel sick and angry, but without bile, we couldn't survive. Everything in this world is risky, yet everything in it is essential."

The conversation turned on pleasure; and the hermit proved that it was a present bestowed by the deity.

The conversation shifted to pleasure, and the hermit demonstrated that it was a gift from the divine.

"For," said he, "man cannot either give himself sensations or ideas: he receives all; and pain and pleasure proceed from a foreign cause as well as his being."

"For," he said, "a person cannot create their own sensations or ideas: they receive everything; and both pain and pleasure come from an outside source just like their existence."

Zadig was surprised to see a man who had been guilty of such extravagant actions, capable of reasoning with so much judgment and propriety. At last, after a conversation equally entertaining and instructive, the host led back his two guests to their apartment, blessing heaven for having sent him two men possessed of so much wisdom and virtue. He offered them money with such an easy and noble air that it could not possibly give any offence. The hermit refused it, and said that he must now take his leave of him, as he proposed to set out for Babylon in the morning before it was light. Their parting was tender. Zadig especially felt himself filled with esteem and affection for a man of such an amiable character.

Zadig was surprised to see a man who had acted so extravagantly also able to reason with such judgment and propriety. After a conversation that was both entertaining and enlightening, the host led his two guests back to their room, thankful to heaven for sending him two men with such wisdom and virtue. He offered them money with such an easy and gracious demeanor that it couldn’t possibly offend. The hermit declined, saying he needed to leave, as he planned to head to Babylon in the morning before dawn. Their farewell was heartfelt. Zadig particularly felt a deep respect and affection for such a kind-hearted man.

When he and the hermit were alone in their apartment they spent a long time in praising their host. At break of day the old man awakened his companion.

When he and the hermit were alone in their apartment, they spent a long time praising their host. At dawn, the old man woke up his companion.

"We must now depart," said he; "but while all the family are still asleep, I will leave this man a mark of my esteem and affection."

"We need to go now," he said; "but since everyone is still asleep, I'll leave this guy a sign of my appreciation and care."

So saying he took a candle and set fire to the house. Zadig, struck with horror, cried aloud, and endeavored to hinder him from committing such a barbarous action; but the hermit drew him away by a superior force, and the house was soon in flames. The hermit, who, with his companion, was already at a considerable distance, looked back to the conflagration with great tranquillity.

So saying, he grabbed a candle and set the house on fire. Zadig, horrified, shouted and tried to stop him from doing such a brutal thing; but the hermit pulled him away with surprising strength, and soon the house was engulfed in flames. The hermit, who was already quite far away with his companion, calmly looked back at the fire.

"Thanks be to God," said he, "the house of my dear host is entirely destroyed! Happy man!"

"Thank God," he said, "my dear host's house is completely destroyed! What a lucky guy!"

At these words Zadig was at once tempted to burst out in laughing, to reproach the reverend father, to beat him, and to run away. But he did none of all these; for still subdued by the powerful ascendancy of the hermit, he followed him, in spite of himself, to the next stage.

At these words, Zadig was immediately tempted to laugh out loud, to scold the old man, to hit him, and to run away. But he did none of those things; still overwhelmed by the strong influence of the hermit, he followed him, against his own will, to the next stage.

This was at the house of a charitable and virtuous widow, who had a nephew fourteen years of age, a handsome and promising youth, and her only hope. She performed the honors of the house as well us she could. Next day, she ordered her nephew to accompany the strangers to a bridge, which being lately broken down, was become extremely dangerous in passing. The young man walked before them with great alacrity. As they were crossing the bridge, the hermit said to the youth:

This was at the home of a kind and good-hearted widow, who had a fourteen-year-old nephew, a handsome and promising young man, and her only hope. She did her best to host her guests. The next day, she asked her nephew to take the strangers to a bridge that had recently collapsed and was very risky to cross. The young man walked ahead of them with great enthusiasm. As they were crossing the bridge, the hermit said to the youth:

"Come, I must show my gratitude to thy aunt."

"Come, I need to show my thanks to your aunt."

He then took him by the hair, and plunged him into the river. The boy sank, appeared again on the surface of the water, and was swallowed up by the current.

He then grabbed him by the hair and threw him into the river. The boy sank, surfaced again, and was swept away by the current.

"O monster! O thou most wicked of mankind!" cried Zadig.

"O monster! O you most wicked of humankind!" cried Zadig.

"Thou promised to behave with greater patience," said the hermit, interrupting him. "Know, that under the ruins of that house which providence hath set on fire, the master hath found an immense treasure I know, that this young man, whose life providence hath shortened, would have assassinated his aunt in the space of a year, and thee in that of two."

"You promised to be more patient," said the hermit, interrupting him. "Know that under the ruins of that house which fate has burned down, the master has found an immense treasure. I know that this young man, whose life fate has cut short, would have killed his aunt within a year, and you within two."

"Who told thee so, barbarian?" cried Zadig, "and though thou hadst read this event in thy book of destinies, art thou permitted to drown a youth who never did thee any harm?"

"Who told you that, barbarian?" shouted Zadig. "And even if you read this event in your book of destinies, do you have the right to drown a young man who has never harmed you?"

While the Babylonian was thus exclaiming, he observed that the old man had no longer a beard, and that his countenance assumed the features and complexion of youth. The hermit's habit disappeared, and four beautiful wings covered a majestic body resplendent with light.

While the Babylonian was exclaiming this, he noticed that the old man no longer had a beard, and his face took on the features and complexion of youth. The hermit's robe vanished, and four beautiful wings adorned a majestic body that shone with light.

"O sent of heaven! O divine angel!" cried Zadig, humbly prostrating himself on the ground, "Hast thou then descended from the empyrean to teach a weak mortal to submit to the eternal decrees of providence?"

"O scent of heaven! O divine angel!" cried Zadig, humbly laying himself flat on the ground, "Have you come down from the heavens to teach a frail human to accept the eternal decisions of fate?"

"Men," said the angel Jesrad, "judge of all without knowing any thing; and, of all men, thou best deservest to be enlightened."

"Men," said the angel Jesrad, "judge everything without knowing anything; and of all men, you most deserve to be enlightened."

Zadig begged to be permitted to speak:

Zadig asked to be allowed to speak:

"I distrust myself," said he, "but may I presume to ask the favor of thee to clear up one doubt that still remains in my mind. Would it not have been better to have corrected this youth, and made him virtuous, than to have drowned him?"

"I don't trust myself," he said, "but can I ask you to help clear up one doubt that still lingers in my mind? Wouldn't it have been better to correct this young man and make him virtuous instead of drowning him?"

The hermit. The recluse.

The poem, called The Hermit, by Thomas Parnell, D.D., expresses views in regard to providence similar to those of Voltaire. The same thoughts may also be found in the Divine Dialogues of Henry Moore. Indeed this "tale to prose-men known to verse-men fam'd," has been used by many authors. Pope says "the story was written originally in Spanish;" Goldsmith, in his Life of Parnell, intimates that it was originally of Arabian invention, while, in fact, it seems to bear internal evidence of Persian or Hindoo origin.—E.

The poem called The Hermit, by Thomas Parnell, D.D., presents views on providence that are quite similar to those of Voltaire. You can also find these ideas in the Divine Dialogues by Henry Moore. In fact, this "story familiar to prose writers but well-known among poets" has been cited by many authors. Pope notes that "the story was originally written in Spanish;" Goldsmith, in his Life of Parnell, suggests it originated in Arabia, though it actually appears to have roots in Persian or Hindu culture.—E.

"Had he become virtuous," replied Jesrad, "and enjoyed a longer life, it would have been his fate to have been assassinated himself, together with the wife he would have married, and the child he would have had by her."

"Had he become virtuous," replied Jesrad, "and lived longer, he would have ended up being assassinated himself, along with the wife he would have married and the child they would have had together."

"But why," said Zadig, "is it necessary that there should be crimes and misfortunes, and that these misfortunes should fall on the good?"

"But why," asked Zadig, "is it necessary for there to be crimes and misfortunes, and for these misfortunes to affect good people?"

"The wicked," replied Jesrad, "are always unhappy. They serve to prove and try the small number of the just that are scattered through the earth; and there is no evil that is not productive of some good."

"The wicked," Jesrad replied, "are always unhappy. They exist to test the few just people scattered throughout the earth; and there's no evil that doesn't somehow lead to some good."

"But," said Zadig, "suppose there was nothing but good and no evil at all."

"But," said Zadig, "imagine if there was only good and no evil whatsoever."

"Then," replied Jesrad, "this earth would be another earth: the chain of events would be ranged in another order and directed by wisdom. But this other order, which would be perfect, can exist only in the eternal abode of the Supreme Being, to which no evil can approach. The Deity hath created millions of worlds, among which there is not one that resembles another. This immense variety is the effect of his immense power. There are not two leaves among the trees of the earth, nor two globes in the unlimited expanse of heaven, that are exactly similar; and all that thou seest on the little atom in which thou art born, ought to be, in its proper time and place, according to the immutable decrees of him who comprehends all. Men think that this child, who hath just perished, is fallen into the water by chance; and that it is by the same chance that this house is burned. But there is no such thing as chance. All is either a trial, or a punishment, or a reward, or a foresight. Remember the fisherman, who thought himself the most wretched of mankind. Oromazes sent thee to change his fate. Cease then, frail mortal, to dispute against what thou oughtest to adore."

"Then," Jesrad replied, "this earth would be a different earth: the events would unfold in a different order and guided by wisdom. But this perfect order can only exist in the eternal realm of the Supreme Being, which no evil can approach. The Deity has created millions of worlds, none of which are alike. This vast variety is a result of His immense power. There are no two leaves on the trees of the earth, nor two spheres in the endless sky, that are exactly the same; and everything you see on the tiny speck where you were born should be in its proper time and place, according to the unchanging decrees of the one who knows all. People think this child who just died fell into the water by chance, just as they believe this house burned down by chance. But there is no such thing as chance. Everything is either a test, or a punishment, or a reward, or a foresight. Remember the fisherman who believed he was the most miserable person in the world. Oromazes sent you to change his fate. So, stop, fragile human, disputing against what you should be revering."

"But," said Zadig—

"But," said Zadig—

As he pronounced the word "But," the angel took his flight toward the tenth sphere. Zadig on his knees adored providence, and submitted. The angel cried to him from on high:

As he said the word "But," the angel soared toward the tenth sphere. Zadig, on his knees, worshipped providence and accepted it. The angel called out to him from above:

"Direct thy course toward Babylon."

"Head straight to Babylon."


XIX.

THE MYSTERIES.

Zadig, entranced as it were, and like a man about whose head the thunder had burst, walked at random. He entered Babylon on the very day when those who had fought at the tournaments were assembled in the grand vestibule of the palace to explain the enigmas, and to answer the questions of the grand magi. All the knights were already present, except the knight in green armor. As soon as Zadig appeared in the city, the people crowded around him; every eye was fixed on him, every mouth blessed him, and every heart wished him the empire. The envious man saw him pass; he frowned and turned aside. The people conducted him to the place where the assembly was held. The queen, when informed of his arrival, became a prey to the most violent agitations of hope and fear. She was filled with anxiety and apprehension. She could not comprehend why Zadig was without arms, nor why Itobad wore the white armor.

Zadig, completely captivated, like someone who just had thunder strike above him, wandered aimlessly. He entered Babylon on the same day that those who had competed in the tournaments gathered in the grand entrance of the palace to explain the riddles and answer the questions of the grand magi. All the knights were already there, except for the knight in green armor. As soon as Zadig arrived in the city, crowds gathered around him; every eye was on him, every mouth praised him, and every heart wished him the throne. An envious man watched him pass by, scowled, and turned away. The people escorted him to where the assembly was taking place. Upon learning of his arrival, the queen was overwhelmed with intense feelings of hope and fear. She was filled with worry and unease. She couldn't understand why Zadig was unarmed or why Itobad was wearing the white armor.

When the knights who had fought were directed to appear in the assembly, Zadig said. "I have fought as well as the other knights, but another here wears my arms; and while I wait for the honor of proving the truth of my assertion, I demand the liberty of presenting myself to explain the enigmas."

When the knights who had fought were called to appear in the assembly, Zadig said, "I have fought just like the other knights, but someone else here is wearing my armor. While I wait to prove my point, I ask for the chance to present myself and explain the puzzles."

The question was put to vote, and his reputation for probity was so well established, that they admitted him without scruple.

The question was put to a vote, and his reputation for integrity was so well established that they accepted him without hesitation.

The first question proposed by the grand magi, was: "What, of all things in the world, is the longest and the shortest, the swiftest and the slowest, the most divisible and the most extended, the most neglected and the most regretted, without which nothing can be done, which devours all that is little, and enlivens all that is great?"

The first question posed by the grand magi was: "What, of all things in the world, is the longest and the shortest, the fastest and the slowest, the most divisible and the most expansive, the most overlooked and the most missed, without which nothing can be accomplished, which consumes everything small, and energizes everything great?"

Itobad was to speak. He replied, that so great a man as he did not understand enigmas; and that it was sufficient for him to have conquered by his strength and valor. Some said that the meaning of the enigma was fortune; some, the earth; and others, the light. Zadig said that it was time.

Itobad was about to speak. He replied that a great man like him didn’t understand riddles and that it was enough for him to have triumphed through his strength and courage. Some said the answer to the riddle was fortune; others said it was the earth; and still others said it was light. Zadig stated that it was time.

"Nothing," added he, "is longer, since it is the measure of eternity. Nothing is shorter, since it is insufficient for the accomplishment of our projects. Nothing more slow to him that expects, nothing more rapid to him that enjoys. In greatness it extends to infinity, in smallness it is infinitely divisible. All men neglect it, all regret the loss of it; nothing can be done without it. It consigns to oblivion whatever is unworthy of being transmitted to posterity, and it immortalizes such actions as are truly great."

"Nothing," he added, "is longer, since it measures eternity. Nothing is shorter, since it's not enough to accomplish our goals. Nothing is slower for those who wait, nothing is faster for those who enjoy. In greatness, it stretches to infinity; in smallness, it can be divided endlessly. Everyone ignores it, yet everyone regrets losing it; nothing can be done without it. It forgets whatever isn't worthy of being remembered (or passed down), and it gives immortality to truly great actions."

The assembly acknowledged that Zadig was in the right.

The assembly agreed that Zadig was correct.

The next question was: "What is the thing which we receive without thanks, which we enjoy without knowing how, and which we lose without perceiving it?"

The next question was: "What is something we get without appreciating it, that we enjoy without understanding how, and that we lose without even realizing it?"

Every one gave his own explanation. Zadig alone guessed that it was life; and he explained all the other enigmas with the same facility. Itobad always said that nothing was more easy, and that he could have answered them with the same readiness, had he chosen to have given himself the trouble. Questions were then proposed on justice, on the sovereign good, and on the art of government. Zadig's answers were judged to be the most solid, and the people exclaimed:

Everyone offered their own explanation. Zadig alone figured out that it was about life; and he clarified all the other mysteries just as easily. Itobad always claimed that nothing was simpler and that he could have answered them just as quickly, if he had bothered to put in the effort. Then, questions were asked about justice, the ultimate good, and the art of governing. Zadig's answers were considered the most insightful, and the people exclaimed:

"What a pity it is, that so great a genius should be so bad a knight!"

"What a shame it is that such a great genius should be such a terrible knight!"

"Illustrious lords," said Zadig, "I have had the honor of conquering in the tournaments. It is to me that the white armor belongs. Lord Itobad took possession of it during my sleep. He probably thought it would fit him better than the green. I am now ready to prove in your presence, with my gown and sword, against all that beautiful white armor which he took from me, that it is I who have had the honor of conquering the brave of Otamus."

"Respected lords," said Zadig, "I’ve had the privilege of winning in the tournaments. That white armor belongs to me. Lord Itobad claimed it while I was asleep. He probably thought it would suit him better than the green. I'm now prepared to show you, with my robe and sword, against that lovely white armor he took from me, that I’m the one who has won against the brave of Otamus."

Itobad accepted the challenge with the greatest confidence. He never doubted but that, armed as he was with a helmet, a cuirass, and brassarts, he would obtain an easy victory over a champion in a cap and a night-gown. Zadig drew his sword, saluting the queen, who looked at him with a mixture of fear and joy. Itobad drew his, without saluting any one. He rushed upon Zadig, like a man who had nothing to fear; he was ready to cleave him in two. Zadig knew how to ward off his blows, by opposing the strongest part of his sword to the weakest of that of his adversary, in such a manner that Itobad's sword was broken. Upon which Zadig, seizing his enemy by the waist, threw him on the ground; and fixing the point of his sword at the extremity of his breast-plate, exclaimed: "Suffer thyself to be disarmed, or thou art a dead man."

Itobad accepted the challenge with complete confidence. He was sure that, with his helmet, breastplate, and arm guards, he would easily defeat a champion dressed in a cap and nightgown. Zadig drew his sword, greeting the queen, who looked at him with a mix of fear and joy. Itobad drew his sword without acknowledging anyone. He charged at Zadig like someone who had nothing to fear, ready to split him in half. Zadig managed to deflect his blows by positioning the strongest part of his sword against the weakest part of his opponent's, causing Itobad's sword to break. Then, Zadig grabbed his enemy by the waist and threw him to the ground, pointing his sword at the edge of Itobad's breastplate, and declared: "Surrender your weapons, or you will die."

Itobad greatly surprised at the disgrace that happened to such a man as he, was obliged to yield to Zadig, who took from him with great composure, his magnificent helmet, his superb cuirass, his fine brassarts, his shining cuisses; clothed himself with them, and in this dress ran to throw himself at the feet of Astarte. Cador easily proved that the armor belonged to Zadig. He was acknowledged king by the unanimous consent of the whole nation, and especially by that of Astarte, who, after so many calamities, now tasted the exquisite pleasure of seeing her lover worthy, in the eyes of the world, to be her husband. Itobad went home to be called lord in his own house. Zadig was king, and was happy. He recollected what the angel Jesrad had said to him. He even remembered the grain of sand that became a diamond. He sent in search of the robber Arbogad, to whom he gave an honorable post in his army, promising to advance him to the first dignities, if he behaved like a true warrior; and threatening to hang him, if he followed the profession of a robber.

Itobad, greatly shocked by the disgrace that fell upon him, had no choice but to give in to Zadig, who calmly took away his magnificent helmet, impressive armor, fine gauntlets, and shining thigh guards. He dressed himself in them and rushed to throw himself at Astarte's feet. Cador easily proved that the armor belonged to Zadig. The entire nation, especially Astarte, unanimously recognized him as king, and she, after enduring so many hardships, finally enjoyed the immense pleasure of seeing her lover worthy of being her husband in the eyes of the world. Itobad returned home to be called lord in his own house. Zadig became king and felt happiness. He recalled what the angel Jesrad had said to him. He even remembered the grain of sand that turned into a diamond. He sent for the thief Arbogad, offering him an honorable position in his army and promising to promote him to higher ranks if he acted like a true warrior, while threatening to hang him if he continued his life as a robber.

Setoc, with the fair Almona, was called from the heart of Arabia, and placed at the head of the commerce of Babylon. Cador was preferred and distinguished according to his great services. He was the friend of the king; and the king was then the only monarch on earth that had a friend. The little mute was not forgotten. A fine house was given to the fisherman; and Orcan was condemned to pay him a large sum of money, and to restore him his wife; but the fisherman, who had now become wise, took only the money.

Setoc, along with the beautiful Almona, was brought from the heart of Arabia and placed in charge of the trade in Babylon. Cador was favored and recognized for his outstanding contributions. He was the king’s friend, and at that time, the king was the only ruler in the world who had a friend. The little mute was not overlooked. The fisherman was given a nice house, and Orcan was ordered to pay him a large sum of money and to return his wife; however, the fisherman, now wise, accepted only the money.

The beautiful Semira could not be comforted for having believed that Zadig would be blind of an eye; nor did Azora cease to lament her attempt to cut off his nose: their griefs, however, he softened by his presents. The capricious beauty, Missouf, was left unnoticed. The envious man died of rage and shame. The empire enjoyed peace, glory, and plenty. This was the happiest age of the earth. It was governed by love and justice. The people blessed Zadig, and Zadig blessed heaven.

The beautiful Semira couldn't be consoled for believing that Zadig would be blind in one eye; nor did Azora stop lamenting her attempt to cut off his nose. However, Zadig eased their sorrows with his gifts. The fickle beauty, Missouf, was overlooked. The envious man died from rage and shame. The empire experienced peace, glory, and abundance. This was the happiest time on earth. It was ruled by love and justice. The people praised Zadig, and Zadig thanked heaven.




THE SAGE AND THE ATHEIST.


INTRO.

You request me, sir, to give you some account of our worthy friend, and his singular son. The leisure that the retirement of Lord Peterborough now affords me, places it in my power to oblige you. You will be as astonished as I was, and perhaps adopt my opinion on the subject.

You ask me, sir, to share some details about our good friend and his unique son. The free time that Lord Peterborough's current situation gives me allows me to help you. You’ll be as surprised as I was, and you might even agree with my viewpoint on the matter.

You scarcely knew the young and unfortunate Johnny, Freind's only son, whom his father took with him to Spain when he received the appointment of chaplain to our armies, in 1705. You started for Aleppo, before my lord besieged Barcelona; yet you were right when you said, John's countenance was amiable and interesting, and that he gave proofs of intelligence and courage. It was quite true. Every one who knew him, loved him. At first he was intended for the church; but, as he manifested much aversion for that profession, which, indeed, requires great skill, management, and finesse, his prudent father considered it a folly and a crime to oppose his inclination.

You barely knew the young and unfortunate Johnny, Freind's only son, whom his father took with him to Spain when he became the chaplain to our armies in 1705. You set off for Aleppo before my lord laid siege to Barcelona; still, you were right when you said that John's face was kind and engaging, and that he showed signs of intelligence and bravery. That was completely true. Everyone who met him adored him. At first, he was meant to join the church, but since he showed a strong dislike for that career, which truly requires a lot of skill, strategy, and finesse, his wise father thought it would be foolish and wrong to go against his wishes.

John was not twenty years old when he assisted, as a volunteer, at the attack on Mont-Joui, which was captured, and where the Prince of Hesse lost his life. Our poor Johnny was wounded, taken prisoner, and carried into the town. The following is an account of his adventures from the attack of Mont-Joui till the taking of Barcelona. It is as told by a Catalonian lady, a little too free and too simple. Such stories do not find a way to the hearts of your wise men. I received it from her when I entered Barcelona in the suite of Lord Peterborough. You must read it without offence, as a true description of the manners of the country.

John was not yet twenty when he volunteered during the attack on Mont-Joui, which was captured, and where the Prince of Hesse lost his life. Our poor Johnny was wounded, taken prisoner, and brought into the town. The following is an account of his adventures from the attack on Mont-Joui to the capture of Barcelona. It is told by a Catalonian lady, a bit too candid and straightforward. Such stories don’t resonate with your learned men. I got it from her when I arrived in Barcelona with Lord Peterborough's entourage. You should read it without taking offense, as it’s a genuine depiction of the customs of the area.


CHAPTER I.

ADVENTURES OF JOHNNY, A YOUNG ENGLISHMAN. WRITTEN BY DONNA LAS NALGAS.

When we were informed that the same savages who came through the air to seize on Gibraltar, were come to besiege our beautiful Barcelona, we began to offer prayers at Notre Dame de Manreze—assuredly the best mode of defence.

When we heard that the same barbarians who flew in to take Gibraltar had come to lay siege to our lovely Barcelona, we started praying at Notre Dame de Manreze—definitely the best way to defend ourselves.

These people, who come from so far, are called by a name very hard to pronounce, that is, English. Our reverend father inquisitor, Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador, preached against these brigands. He anathematized them in Notre Dame d'Elpino. He assured us that the English had monkey-tails, bears' paws, and parrot-heads; that they sometimes spoke like men, but invariably made a great hissing; that they were moreover notorious heretics; that though the Blessed Virgin was often indulgent to poor sinners, she never forgave heretics, and that consequently they would all be infallibly exterminated, especially if they presumed to appear before Mont-Joui. He had scarcely finished his sermon when he heard that Mont-Joui was taken by storm.

These people, who come from so far away, are called by a name that's really hard to say, which is English. Our respected Father Inquisitor, Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador, preached against these bandits. He condemned them in Notre Dame d'Elpino. He told us that the English had monkey tails, bear paws, and parrot heads; that they sometimes spoke like humans but always made a loud hissing noise; that they were also known heretics; that even though the Blessed Virgin was usually forgiving to poor sinners, she never forgave heretics, and that because of this, they would all definitely be wiped out, especially if they dared to come before Mont-Joui. He had barely finished his sermon when he heard that Mont-Joui had been captured in a storm.

The same evening we learned that a young Englishman, who had been wounded in the assault, was our prisoner. Throughout the town arose cries of victory! victory! And the illuminations were very general.

The same evening we found out that a young Englishman, who had been injured in the attack, was our prisoner. Cheers of “Victory! Victory!” rang out all over the town, and there were light displays everywhere.

Donna Boca Vermeja, who had the honor to be the reverend inquisitor's favorite, was very desirous to see what the English animal and heretic was like. She was my intimate friend. I shared her curiosity. We were oblished to wait till his wound was cured; and this did not take very long.

Donna Boca Vermeja, who was the favorite of the reverend inquisitor, really wanted to see what the English animal and heretic was like. She was my close friend. I shared her curiosity. We had to wait until his wound was healed; and this didn't take long.

Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador. Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador.

Soon after, we learned that he was in the habit of visiting daily at the residence of Elbob, my cousin german, who, as every one knows, is the best surgeon in the town. My friend Boca Vermeja's impatience to see this singular monster increased two-fold. We had no rest ourselves, and gave none to our cousin, the surgeon, till he allowed us to conceal ourselves in a small closet, which we entered on tiptoe without saying a word and scarcely venturing to breathe, just as the Englishman arrived. His face was not turned toward us. He took off a small cap which enclosed his light hair, which then fell in thick curls down the finest neck I ever beheld. His form presented a plumpness, a finish, an elegance, approaching, in my opinion, the Apollo Belvidere at Rome—a copy of which my uncle the sculptor possesses.

Soon after, we found out that he routinely visited the home of Elbob, my cousin, who, as everyone knows, is the best surgeon in town. My friend Boca Vermeja’s eagerness to see this unusual character doubled. We couldn’t find any peace ourselves, nor did we give any to our cousin, the surgeon, until he let us hide in a small closet. We snuck in quietly, barely making a sound and hardly daring to breathe, just as the Englishman arrived. He wasn’t facing us. He took off a small cap that had been covering his light hair, which then tumbled down in thick curls over the most beautiful neck I’ve ever seen. His figure was rounded, well-defined, and elegant, almost resembling the Apollo Belvedere in Rome—a replica of which my uncle the sculptor owns.

Donna Boca Vermeja was transported with surprise, and delighted. I shared her ecstacy, and could not forbear exclaiming: "O che hermoso Muchacho!"

Donna Boca Vermeja was taken aback and thrilled. I shared in her excitement and couldn't help but exclaim: "Oh, what a beautiful guy!"

These words made the young man turn round. We then saw the face of an Adonis on the body of a young Hercules. Donna Boca Vermeja nearly fell backwards at the sight:

These words made the young man turn around. We then saw the face of a Greek god on the body of a young Hercules. Donna Boca Vermeja almost fell backward at the sight:

"St. James!" she exclaimed, "Holy Virgin! is it possible heretics are such fine men? How we have been deceived about them."

"St. James!" she exclaimed, "Holy Virgin! Is it really possible that heretics are such great people? We've been completely misled about them."

Donna Boca was soon violently in love with the heretical monster. She is handsomer than I am, I must confess; and I must also confess that I became doubly jealous of her on that account. I took care to show her that to forsake the reverend father inquisitor, Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador, for an Englishman, would be a crime falling nothing short of damnation.

Donna Boca soon fell violently in love with the heretical monster. She’s more attractive than I am, I have to admit; and I also have to confess that I became even more jealous of her because of that. I made sure to show her that abandoning the reverend father inquisitor, Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador, for an Englishman would be a sin that could lead to nothing less than damnation.

"Ah! my dear Las Nalgas," she said, (Las Nalgas is my name) "I would forsake Melchizedek himself for so fine a young man."

"Ah! my dear Las Nalgas," she said, (Las Nalgas is my name) "I would give up Melchizedek himself for such a wonderful young man."

One of the inquisitors who attended four masses daily, to obtain from Our Lady of Manreze the destruction of the English, heard of our admiration. The Reverend Father Don Caracucarador whipped us both, and had our dear Englishman arrested by twenty-four Alguazils of St. Hermandad. Johnny killed four; and was at length captured by the remaining twenty. He was confined in a very damp cellar, and sentenced to be burnt the following Sunday, in full ceremony, clothed in a San-bénito, wearing a sugar-loaf cap, in honor of our Savior and the Virgin Mary, his mother. Don Caracucarador prepared a fine sermon, but had no occasion for it, as the town was taken at four o'clock on the Sunday morning.

One of the inquisitors who attended four masses each day, seeking from Our Lady of Manreze the downfall of the English, heard about our admiration. The Reverend Father Don Caracucarador whipped us both and had our dear Englishman arrested by twenty-four Alguazils of St. Hermandad. Johnny killed four of them, but was eventually captured by the remaining twenty. He was locked up in a very damp cellar and sentenced to be burned the following Sunday, in a full ceremony, dressed in a San-bénito and wearing a sugar-loaf cap, in honor of our Savior and the Virgin Mary, his mother. Don Caracucarador prepared a great sermon, but it never happened, as the town was taken at four o'clock that Sunday morning.

Here Donna Las Nalgas's tale terminates. This lady was not without a description of wit, which in Spain we call agudéza.

Here Donna Las Nalgas's story comes to an end. This lady was not lacking in a certain sharpness of wit, which we call agudéza in Spain.


CHAPTER II.

CONTINUATION OF THE ADVENTURES OF JOHN, THE YOUNG ENGLISHMAN; ALSO THOSE OF HIS RESPECTED FATHER, D.D., M.P., AND F.R.S.

You know the skillful conduct of the Earl of Peterborough after he took Barcelona, how successfully he prevented pillage, restored order, and rescued the Duchess of Popoli from the hands of some drunken Germans, who robbed and abused her. Conceive the surprise, grief, rage, and tears, of our friend Freind, on learning that John was confined in the dungeons of the holy inquisition, and condemned to the stake. You know that cold temperaments are frequently most energetic when great events call them into action. You should have seen this distracted father, whom you were accustomed to think imperturbable, fly to the dungeon of his son more rapidly than the horses at Newmarket hasten to the goal. The fifty soldiers who went with him were soon out of breath, and always a hundred paces behind. At length he reached the cell and entered it. What a scene! what tears! what joy! Twenty victims, devoted to the same ceremony, are delivered. All the prisoners take arms and fight with our soldiers. The buildings of the holy office are destroyed in ten minutes, and they breakfasted beside the ruins, on the wine and ham of the inquisitors.

You know how skillfully the Earl of Peterborough handled things after he took Barcelona—how effectively he stopped looting, restored order, and saved the Duchess of Popoli from a group of drunken Germans who were robbing and mistreating her. Imagine the surprise, sadness, anger, and tears of our friend Freind when he found out that John was locked up in the dungeons of the Holy Inquisition and sentenced to be burned at the stake. You know that people who usually stay calm often become very passionate when major events spur them into action. You should have seen this distraught father, who you thought was unshakeable, rush to his son’s dungeon faster than the horses at Newmarket sprint to the finish line. The fifty soldiers who accompanied him quickly ran out of breath and fell a hundred paces behind. Finally, he reached the cell and went inside. What a scene! What tears! What joy! Twenty others facing the same fate were freed. All the prisoners took up arms and fought alongside our soldiers. The buildings of the Holy Office were destroyed in ten minutes, and they had breakfast beside the ruins, enjoying the wine and ham of the inquisitors.

Condemned by the Inquisition Condemned by the Inquisition.—He was locked up in a very damp cellar and sentenced to be burned the next Sunday, in a formal ceremony, dressed in a San-bénito and wearing a sugar-loaf cap, in honor of our Savior and the Virgin Mary, his mother.

In the midst of the roar of cannon, the sound of trumpets and drums, announcing our victory to Catalonia, our friend Freind recovered his accustomed tranquillity of manner. He was as calm as the sky after a day of storm. He was raising to God a heart as serene as his countenance, when he perceived a black spectral figure, clad in a surplice, issue from a vault, and fall at his feet, crying for mercy.

In the middle of the cannon fire and the sound of trumpets and drums announcing our victory to Catalonia, our friend Freind regained his usual calm demeanor. He was as calm as the sky after a stormy day. He was lifting a heart as peaceful as his face to God when he noticed a dark, ghostly figure in a robe emerge from a vault and fall at his feet, begging for mercy.

"Who are you?" said our friend. "Do you come from Hades?"

"Who are you?" our friend asked. "Did you come from Hades?"

"Almost," rejoined the other. "I am Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador, inquisitor. I solicit most humbly your forgiveness for wishing to roast your son in public. I took him for a Jew."

"Almost," responded the other. "I am Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador, inquisitor. I humbly ask for your forgiveness for wanting to publicly burn your son. I thought he was a Jew."

"Supposing that to be the case," said our friend with his customary sang froid, "does it become you, Señor Caracucarador, to roast people alive because they are descended from a sect that formerly inhabited a rocky canton near the Syrian desert? What does it matter to you whether a man is circumcised or not? that he observe Easter at the full of the moon, or on the following Sunday? It is very bad reasoning to say, 'That man is a Jew; therefore I must have him burnt, and take his property.' The Royal Society of London do not reason in that way.

"Assuming that's the case," our friend said calmly as usual, "is it really right for you, Señor Caracucarador, to roast people alive just because they’re from a group that used to live in a rocky area near the Syrian desert? Why does it matter to you if a man is circumcised or not? Whether he celebrates Easter on the full moon or the following Sunday? It's completely ridiculous to say, 'That man is a Jew; therefore, I should burn him and take his belongings.' The Royal Society of London doesn't think like that."

"Do you know, Señor Caracucarador, that Jesus Christ was a Jew—that he was born, lived, and died a Jew? that he observed the passover like a Jew, at the full of the moon? that all his apostles were Jews? that they went to the temple after his death, as we are expressly told? that the first fifteen secret bishops of Jerusalem were Jews? But my son is no Jew; he belongs to the established church. How came it into your head to burn him alive?"

"Do you know, Señor Caracucarador, that Jesus Christ was a Jew— that he was born, lived, and died as a Jew? That he celebrated Passover like a Jew, during the full moon? That all his apostles were Jews? That they went to the temple after his death, as we are clearly told? That the first fifteen secret bishops of Jerusalem were Jews? But my son is not a Jew; he belongs to the established church. How did you come up with the idea of burning him alive?"

The inquisitor, overawed by the learning of Monsieur Freind, and still prostrate at his feet, replied:

The inquisitor, impressed by the knowledge of Monsieur Freind and still bowing at his feet, responded:

"Alas! sir, we know nothing about this at the University of Salamanca. Forgive me, once more. The true reason is, your son took from me my favorite, Donna Boca Vermeja."

"Unfortunately, sir, we don’t know anything about this at the University of Salamanca. Please forgive me again. The real reason is, your son took my favorite, Donna Boca Vermeja, from me."

"Ah! if he took your favorite, that's another thing. We should never take 'our neighbor's goods.' That is not, however, a sufficient reason for burning a young man to death. As Leibnitz says, 'The punishment should be in proportion to the crime.' You Christians on the other side of the British Channel, especially toward the South, make no more of roasting each other, be it the Counsellor Dubourg, M. Servetus, or those who were burned in the reign of Philippe II., surnamed El Discreto, than we do of roasting a joint of beef in London. But bring Miss Boca Vermeja before me, that I may learn the truth from her own mouth."

"Ah! if he took your favorite, that's another story. We should never take 'our neighbor's goods.' However, that's not a good enough reason to burn a young man to death. As Leibnitz says, 'The punishment should fit the crime.' You Christians on the other side of the British Channel, especially in the South, don’t think twice about roasting each other—whether it's Counsellor Dubourg, M. Servetus, or those who were burned during the reign of Philippe II, known as El Discreto—than we do about roasting a piece of beef in London. But bring Miss Boca Vermeja before me, so I can hear the truth straight from her."

Boca Vermeja appeared weeping, looking the handsomer for her tears, as women generally do.

Boca Vermeja appeared crying, looking even prettier because of her tears, as women usually do.

"Is it true, Miss, that you are devotedly attached to M. Caracucarador, and that my son has abducted you?"

"Is it true, miss, that you are devotedly attached to M. Caracucarador, and that my son has kidnapped you?"

"Abducted me? The English gentleman! I never met with any one so amiable and good-looking as your son. You are very fortunate in being his father. I could follow him to the world's end. I always hated that ugly inquisitor, who whipped me and Mademoiselle Las Nalgas till he nearly brought blood. If you wish to make me happy, you will cause the old fellow to be hanged at my bedroom window."

"Abducted me? The English gentleman! I've never met anyone as nice and good-looking as your son. You're very lucky to be his father. I could follow him anywhere. I've always hated that ugly inquisitor who whipped me and Mademoiselle Las Nalgas until he nearly drew blood. If you want to make me happy, have that old man hanged outside my bedroom window."

Just as Boca Vermeja was thus speaking, the Earl of Peterborough sent for the inquisitor Caracucarador, to have him hanged. You will not be surprised to hear that Mr. Freind firmly opposed this measure.

Just as Boca Vermeja was saying this, the Earl of Peterborough called for the inquisitor Caracucarador to have him hanged. You won’t be surprised to hear that Mr. Freind strongly opposed this action.

"Let your just displeasure," said he, "give way to generous feelings. A man should never be put to death but when it is absolutely necessary for the safety of others. The Spaniards say the English are barbarians, who kill all the priests that come in their way. This might have injured the cause of the arch-duke, for whom you have taken Barcelona. I have sufficient satisfaction in rescuing my son, and putting it out of the power of this rascally monk to exercise his inquisitorial functions."

"Let your rightful anger," he said, "turn into compassion. A person should only be executed when it’s absolutely necessary for the safety of others. The Spaniards claim that the English are savages, who kill every priest they encounter. This could harm the archduke's cause, for whom you have taken Barcelona. I’m truly satisfied that I rescued my son and ensured that this deceitful monk can no longer carry out his inquisitorial duties."

In a word, the wise and charitable Freind was contented with getting Caracucarador flogged, as he had whipped Miss Boca Vermeja and Miss Las Nalgas.

In short, the wise and generous Friend was satisfied with having Caracucarador beaten, just like he had punished Miss Boca Vermeja and Miss Las Nalgas.

Such clemency affected the Catalonians. The persons rescued from the inquisition felt that our religion was better than theirs. Nearly all requested to be admitted members of the established church; even some bachelors of the University of Salamanca, who chanced to be at Barcelona, requested instruction. The greater part soon became enlightened, with the exception of a certain Don Inigo-y-Medroso, y-Comodios, y-Papalamiendos, who obstinately adhered to his opinions.

Such kindness had an impact on the Catalonians. The people rescued from the inquisition realized that our faith was better than theirs. Almost everyone asked to join the established church; even some bachelors from the University of Salamanca, who happened to be in Barcelona, sought instruction. Most of them quickly became enlightened, except for a certain Don Inigo-y-Medroso, y-Comodios, y-Papalamiendos, who stubbornly stuck to his beliefs.


CHAPTER III.

SUMMARY OF THE "BUTS" CONTROVERSY BETWEEN MR. FREIND AND DON INIGO-Y-MEDROSO, Y-COMODIOS, Y-PAPALAMIENDOS, BACHELOR OF SALAMANCA.

The following is a summary of the pleasant disputation, which our dear friend Freind and the Bachelor Don Papalamiendos held, in the presence of the Earl of Peterborough. This familiar conversation was called the dialogue of the "Buts." As you read it you will discover why.

The following is a summary of the enjoyable discussion that our dear friend Freind and Bachelor Don Papalamiendos had in front of the Earl of Peterborough. This casual conversation was referred to as the dialogue of the "Buts." As you read it, you'll see why.

THE BACHELOR.—But, sir, notwithstanding all the fine things you have said, you must admit that your respectable established church did not exist before the time of Don Luther and Don Ecolampade; consequently, it is quite new, and can hardly be said to belong to the family.

THE BACHELOR.—But, sir, despite all the nice things you've said, you have to admit that your well-respected established church didn't exist before the time of Don Luther and Don Ecolampade; so, it’s pretty new and can hardly be considered part of the family.

FREIND.—You might as well say I am not a descendant of my grandfather, because another branch of the family, living in Italy, seized on his will, and my claims. I have fortunately found them again; and it is now quite clear that I am my grandfather's grandson. You and I are, as it were, of the same family; but with this difference. We read our grandfather's testament in our mother tongue, while you are forbidden to read it in yours. You are the slaves of a foreigner; we listen to the dictates of reason.

FRIEND.—You might as well say I'm not my grandfather's descendant because another branch of the family living in Italy took his will and my claims. Luckily, I've found them again, and it's now clear that I'm my grandfather's grandson. You and I are, in a sense, part of the same family; but there's a difference. We read our grandfather's will in our native language, while you can't read it in yours. You are the subjects of a foreigner; we follow the guidance of reason.

THE BACHELOR.—But suppose your reason should lead you astray? For, in a word, you have no faith in our University of Salamanca, which has declared the infallibility of the pope, and his indisputable control of the past, the present, the future, and the paulo-post-future.

THE BACHELOR.—But what if your reasoning leads you the wrong way? Because, honestly, you don't trust our University of Salamanca, which has proclaimed the pope's infallibility and his unquestionable authority over the past, the present, the future, and even the somewhat distant future.

FREIND.—Neither did the apostles. It is written that Peter, who denied his master Jesus, was severely rebuked by Paul. I have not examined the case to see which was in the wrong; perhaps, as is the case in most disputes, neither was right; but I do not find one passage in the Acts of the Apostles to prove that Peter was considered the master of his companions, and of the paulo-post-future.

FRIEND.—Neither did the apostles. It's written that Peter, who denied his master Jesus, was strongly criticized by Paul. I haven't looked into the details to see who was at fault; maybe, like in most arguments, neither was right; but I can't find any section in the Acts of the Apostles that shows Peter was regarded as the leader among his peers or in the near future.

THE BACHELOR.—But St. Peter was certainly archbishop of Rome; for Sanchez tells us that this great man came there in the reign of Nero, and filled the archbishop's throne twenty-five years under the same Nero, who only reigned thirteen. Besides, it is a matter of faith, and Don Gullandus, the prototype of the inquisition, affirms it (for we never read the Holy Bible), that St. Peter was at Rome during a certain year, for he dates one of his letters from Babylon. Now, since Babylon is visibly the anagram of Rome, it is clear that the pope by divine right is lord of the world; moreover, all the licentiates of Salamanca have shown that Simon Grace-of-God, first sorcerer and counsellor of state at the court of Nero, sent his compliments by his dog to Simon Barjona, otherwise called St. Peter, as soon as he came to Rome; that St. Peter, who was scarcely less polite, sent also his dog to compliment Simon Grace-of-God; and then they diverted themselves by trying which could soonest raise from the dead a cousin german of Nero's; that Grace-of-God only succeeded in effecting a partial restoration, while Barjona won the game by wholly restoring the dead man to life; that Grace-of-God sought to have his revenge by flying through the air like Saint Dædalus; and that Barjona broke his legs, by making him fall. On this account St. Peter received the Martyr's crown, being crucified with his heels upward. Therefore we have proved that his holiness the pope ought to reign over all who wear crowns; that he is lord of the past, the present, and of all the futures in the world.

The Bachelor.—But St. Peter was definitely the archbishop of Rome; because Sanchez tells us that this great man arrived there during Nero's reign, and held the archbishop’s position for twenty-five years under the same Nero, who only ruled for thirteen. Furthermore, it’s a matter of faith, and Don Gullandus, who embodies the inquisition, claims it (since we never read the Holy Bible), that St. Peter was in Rome during a specific year, as he dated one of his letters from Babylon. Now, since Babylon is evidently an anagram of Rome, it’s clear that the pope, by divine right, is the ruler of the world; additionally, all the graduates from Salamanca have demonstrated that Simon Grace-of-God, the first sorcerer and advisor at Nero's court, sent his regards through his dog to Simon Barjona, also known as St. Peter, as soon as he arrived in Rome; that St. Peter, who was hardly less courteous, sent his dog back to greet Simon Grace-of-God; and then they entertained themselves by seeing who could resurrect a cousin of Nero’s the quickest; that Grace-of-God only managed a partial revival, while Barjona won by completely bringing the dead man back to life; that Grace-of-God attempted to get revenge by flying through the air like Saint Dædalus; and that Barjona broke his legs by causing him to fall. For this reason, St. Peter was awarded the Martyr’s crown, being crucified with his heels up. Thus, we have proven that his holiness the pope should rule over everyone who wears crowns; that he is the master of the past, present, and all possible futures in the world.

FREIND.—It is clear these things happened in the days when Hercules separated at a stroke the two mountains Calpe and Abyla, and crossed the straits of Gibraltar in his goblet. But it is not on such histories, however authentic they may be, that we base our religion. We found it on the gospel.

BFF.—It's obvious these events took place back when Hercules split the two mountains, Calpe and Abyla, and crossed the Strait of Gibraltar in his cup. But we don't ground our faith in such stories, no matter how true they may be. We base it on the gospel.

THE BACHELOR.—But, sir, on what passages of the gospel? I have read a portion of the gospel in our theological tracts. Do you base it on the descent of the angel to announce to the Virgin Mary that she had conceived by the Holy Ghost? On the journey of the three kings after the star? On the massacre of all the children of the country? On the trouble the devil took to carry God into the wilderness, to place him on a pinnacle of the temple, and on the summit of a mountain from whence he beheld all the kingdoms of the world? On the miracle of water changed into wine at a village wedding? On the miracle of two thousand pigs drowned by the devil in a lake at the command of Jesus? On—?

THE BACHELOR.—But, sir, which passages from the gospel are you referring to? I've read some of the gospel in our theological pamphlets. Are you talking about the angel coming to tell the Virgin Mary that she would conceive by the Holy Spirit? Or the journey of the three kings following the star? Or the massacre of all the children in the area? Or the effort the devil made to take God into the wilderness, to put Him on the highest point of the temple, and on top of a mountain where He could see all the kingdoms of the world? Or the miracle of water being turned into wine at a wedding in the village? Or the miracle where the devil drove two thousand pigs into a lake at Jesus’ command? Or—?

FREIND.—Sir, we respect these things because they are in the gospel; but we never speak of them, because they are too far above our weak human reason.

Friend.—Sir, we respect these things because they are in the gospel; but we never talk about them, because they are beyond our limited human understanding.

THE BACHELOR.—But they say you never call the Holy Virgin, Mother of God?

THE BACHELOR.—But they say you never refer to the Holy Virgin as the Mother of God?

FREIND.—We revere and cherish her. But we think she cares very little for the titles given her in this world. She is never styled the Mother of God in the gospel. In the year 431, there was a great dispute at the council of Ephesus to ascertain if Mary was Theotocos; and if Jesus Christ, being at the same time God and the son of Mary, Mary could be at the same time mother of God the Father and God the Son. We do not enter into these disputes of Ephesus. The Royal Society at London does not concern itself with such controversies.

PAL.—We admire and hold her in high regard. But we believe she doesn’t care much for the titles given to her in this world. She is never referred to as the Mother of God in the gospel. In 431, there was a major debate at the council of Ephesus to determine whether Mary was Theotokos; and if Jesus Christ, being both God and the son of Mary at the same time, means she could also be considered the mother of God the Father and God the Son. We won’t get involved in these Ephesus debates. The Royal Society in London doesn’t engage in such controversies.

THE BACHELOR.—But, sir, you talk of Theotocos. What may Theotocos mean, if you please?

THE BACHELOR.—But, sir, you’re talking about Theotocos. What does Theotocos mean, if you don’t mind me asking?

FREIND.—It means Mother of God. What, are you a Bachelor of Salamanca, and don't understand Greek?

BFF.—It means Mother of God. What, are you a graduate of Salamanca and don't understand Greek?

THE BACHELOR.—But Greek! Of what use can Greek be to a Spaniard? But, sir, do you believe that Jesus Christ has one nature, one person, and one will; or two natures, two persons, and two wills; or, one will, one nature, and two persons; or, two wills, two persons and one nature; or,—?

THE BACHELOR.—But Greek! How is Greek useful to a Spaniard? But, sir, do you believe that Jesus Christ has one nature, one person, and one will; or two natures, two persons, and two wills; or, one will, one nature, and two persons; or, two wills, two persons, and one nature; or—?

FREIND.—This, also, belongs to the Ephesian controversy and does not concern us.

BFF.—This also relates to the Ephesians issue and doesn't concern us.

THE BACHELOR.—But what does concern you, then? Do you suppose there are only three persons in God, or that there are three Gods in one person? Does the second person proceed from the first person, and the third from the two others, or from the second intrinsecus, or only from the first? Has the father all the attributes of the son except paternity? And does the third person proceed by infusion, by identification, or by spiration?

THE BACHELOR.—But what’s your concern, then? Do you think there are only three persons in God, or that there are three gods in one person? Does the second person come from the first person, and the third from the other two, or just from the second intrinsecus, or only from the first? Does the father have all the attributes of the son except for being a parent? And does the third person come about through infusion, identification, or spiration?

FREIND.—This question is not mooted in the gospel. St. Paul never wrote the name of the Trinity.

FRIEND.—This question isn’t mentioned in the gospel. St. Paul never wrote the name of the Trinity.

THE BACHELOR.—But, you always refer to the gospel, and never make mention of St. Bonaventura, of Albert the Great, of Tambourini, of Gullandus, of Escobar.

THE BACHELOR.—But you always talk about the gospel and never mention St. Bonaventura, Albert the Great, Tambourini, Gullandus, or Escobar.

FREIND.—Because I do not call myself a Dominican, a Franciscan, or a Jesuit. I am satisfied with being a Christian.

BFF.—Because I don’t identify as a Dominican, a Franciscan, or a Jesuit. I’m content with just being a Christian.

THE BACHELOR.—But if you are a Christian, tell me if you conscientiously think the rest of mankind will be damned?

THE BACHELOR.—But if you’re a Christian, honestly tell me, do you really believe that the rest of humanity will be damned?

FREIND.—It does not become me to limit the compassion or the justice of God.

BFF.—I shouldn't try to restrict the compassion or the justice of God.

THE BACHELOR.—But to come to the point, if you are a Christian, what do you believe?

The Bachelor.—To get straight to the point, if you're a Christian, what do you believe?

FREIND.—I believe with Jesus Christ that we ought to love God and our neighbor, forgive our enemies, and do good for evil. These are the maxims of Jesus. So true are they, that no legislator, no philosopher, ever had other principles before him, and it is impossible that there can be any other. These truths never have and never can meet with contradiction, save from our passions.

BFF.—I believe with Jesus Christ that we should love God and our neighbors, forgive our enemies, and respond to evil with good. These are the teachings of Jesus. They are so true that no legislator or philosopher has ever had different principles, and it's impossible for there to be any others. These truths have never encountered and never will encounter contradiction, except from our own passions.

THE BACHELOR.—But, in regard to the passions, is it true that your bishops, priests, and deacons are all married?

THE BACHELOR.—But about the passions, is it true that all your bishops, priests, and deacons are married?

FREIND.—Quite true. St. Joseph, who passed for the father of Jesus, was married. James the Less, surnamed Oblia, brother of our Lord, was his son, who, after the death of Jesus, spent his life in the temple. St. Paul—the great St. Paul—was a married man.

BFF.—That's right. St. Joseph, who was considered the father of Jesus, was married. James the Less, also known as Oblia, was his son and after Jesus died, he dedicated his life to the temple. St. Paul—the great St. Paul—was also a married man.

THE BACHELOR.—But Grillandus and Molina assert the contrary.

THE BACHELOR.—But Grillandus and Molina claim the opposite.

FREIND.—Let them say what they please, I prefer believing St. Paul himself on the subject. In I. Corinthians, ix: 4-7. he says: "Have we not power to eat and to drink? Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the lord, and Cephas. Or I only and Barnabas, have we not power to forbear working? Who goeth a warfare at any time at his own charges? Who planteth a vineyard and eateth not of the fruit thereof?"

FRIEND.—Let them say whatever they want, I’d rather trust St. Paul himself on this issue. In 1 Corinthians 9: 4-7. he states: "Don’t we have the right to eat and drink? Don’t we have the right to take a sister or a wife along with us, like the other apostles, the Lord’s brothers, and Cephas? Or is it just Barnabas and me that don’t have that right to not work? Who goes to war at their own expense? Who plants a vineyard and doesn’t eat from its grapes?"

THE BACHELOR.—But, sir, did St. Paul really say that?

THE BACHELOR.—But, sir, did St. Paul actually say that?

FREIND.—Yes, he said that and very much more.

BFF.—Yeah, he said that and a whole lot more.

THE BACHELOR.—But, really, that prodigy of the efficacy of grace?—

The Bachelor.—But seriously, that amazing example of the power of grace?—

FREIND.—It is true, sir, that his conversion was a great miracle. I admit, from the Acts of the Apostles, that he was the most cruel satellite of the enemies of Jesus. The Acts say that he assisted at the stoning of Stephen. He admits himself, that when the Jews condemned to death a follower of Christ, he would see to the execution of the sentence, "detuli sententiam", I admit that Abdia, his disciple, and the translator Julius, the African, accused him of putting to death James Oblia, the brother of our Lord; but his persecutions increase the wonder of his conversion, and by no means prevented his having a wife. I assure you he was married. St. Clement of Alexandria expressly declares it.

FRIEND.—It's true, sir, that his conversion was a huge miracle. I acknowledge, based on the Acts of the Apostles, that he was one of the most ruthless followers of Jesus' enemies. The Acts mention that he was present at the stoning of Stephen. He himself admits that when the Jews sentenced a follower of Christ to death, he would ensure the sentence was carried out, "detuli sententiam". I acknowledge that Abdia, his disciple, and the translator Julius, the African, claimed he was responsible for the death of James Oblia, our Lord's brother; but his persecutions only make his conversion more astonishing and certainly did not stop him from having a wife. I assure you he was married. St. Clement of Alexandria explicitly states it.

THE BACHELOR.—But St. Paul, then, was a worthy man of God! Really, I am grieved to think he assassinated St. Stephen, and St. James, and am surprised to find he traveled to the third heaven. But pray continue.

THE BACHELOR.—But St. Paul was truly a man of God! Honestly, it pains me to think he was involved in the deaths of St. Stephen and St. James, and I’m amazed to learn he journeyed to the third heaven. But please, go on.

FREIND.—We gather from St. Clement of Alexandria that St. Peter had children; one St. Petronilla is mentioned among them. Eusebius, in his History of the Church says that St. Nicolas, one of the first disciples, had a very handsome wife; and that the disciples blamed him for being over-fond and jealous. "Sirs," said he, "let any one take her who likes; I give her to you."

BFF.—We learn from St. Clement of Alexandria that St. Peter had children; one of them is named St. Petronilla. Eusebius, in his History of the Church, mentions that St. Nicolas, one of the first disciples, had a very attractive wife, and the other disciples criticized him for being overly affectionate and jealous. "Gentlemen," he said, "anyone who wants her can take her; I give her to you."

In the Jewish economy, which should have lasted for ever, but to which nevertheless the Christian dispensation succeeded, marriage was not only permitted, but expressly enjoined on priests, since they were always of the same race. Celibacy was considered infamous.

In the Jewish economy, which was meant to last forever but was ultimately replaced by the Christian dispensation, marriage was not only allowed but also specifically required for priests, as they were always from the same lineage. Celibacy was regarded as disgraceful.

It is certain that celibacy could not have been considered a very pure and honorable state by the first Christians, since we find among the bishops excommunicated by the first councils, chiefly those who oppose the marriage of priests; such as Saturnians, Basilidians, Montanists, Encrasists, and other ans and ists. This accounts for the wife of Gregory of Nazianze bearing another Gregory of Nazianze, and enjoying the inestimable felicity of being at one and the same time the wife and mother of a canonized saint,—a privilege which even St. Monica, the mother of St. Augustin, did not enjoy.

It’s clear that the first Christians didn’t view celibacy as a very pure or honorable state, since many bishops who were excommunicated by the early councils were mainly those who opposed the marriage of priests, like the Saturnians, Basilidians, Montanists, Encrasists, and other groups. This explains why Gregory of Nazianze’s wife was also the mother of another Gregory of Nazianze, experiencing the incredible joy of being both the wife and mother of a canonized saint—something that even St. Monica, the mother of St. Augustine, didn’t experience.

By the same reason I might name as many and even more of the ancient bishops who were married, and account for your not having had in the earlier ages of the church bishops and popes who indulged in fornication, adultery, and even worse crimes. Things are not so now. This is also the reason why the Greek church, the mother of the Latin church, allows priests to marry. In a word, the reason why I myself am married, and have a son, as fine a fellow as you can wish to see.

By the same token, I could mention just as many, if not more, ancient bishops who were married and explain why there weren't bishops and popes in the early church who engaged in fornication, adultery, and even worse crimes. Times have changed. This is also why the Greek church, the mother of the Latin church, permits priests to marry. In short, that's why I’m married and have a son, a great guy, if I do say so myself.

Besides, my dear bachelor, have you not in your church seven sacraments which are outward signs of things invisible? Does not a bachelor of Salamanca enjoy the advantage of baptism as soon as he comes into the world; of confirmation as soon as he has committed a few follies or understands those of others; of communion, though a little different from ours, when he is fourteen years of age; of holy orders, when they shave the crown of his head and give him a living of twenty, thirty, or forty thousand piastres; and lastly of extreme unction, when he is ill? Must he then be deprived of the sacrament of marriage, when he is in health? Especially when God united Adam and Eve in marriage: Adam, the first bachelor in the world, since, according to your schools, he had knowledge by infusion; Eve, the first female bachelor, since she tasted the tree of knowledge before her husband.

Besides, my dear bachelor, don't you have seven sacraments in your church that are visible signs of invisible realities? Doesn't a bachelor from Salamanca benefit from baptism as soon as he's born; from confirmation after he has made a few mistakes or understands those of others; from communion, which is a bit different from ours, when he turns fourteen; from holy orders, when they shave the top of his head and give him a living of twenty, thirty, or forty thousand piastres; and finally, from extreme unction when he's sick? Should he really be denied the sacrament of marriage when he's healthy? Especially when God joined Adam and Eve in marriage: Adam, the first bachelor in the world, since, according to your teachings, he gained knowledge by infusion; Eve, the first female bachelor, since she tasted the tree of knowledge before her husband.

THE BACHELOR.—But, if things are so, I may cease my "Buts." This is certain, I adopt your religion; I will belong to the established church of England; will marry an honest woman, who at least will pretend to love me while I am young, take care of me when I grow old, and whom I will bury decently, should I survive her. I think this is better than roasting men and enticing girls after the fashion of my cousin Don Caracucarador, the inquisitor of the faith.

THE BACHELOR.—But if that's the case, I can stop with my "buts." This is certain: I will embrace your religion; I will join the Church of England; I will marry a good woman who will at least pretend to love me while I'm young, take care of me when I'm older, and whom I will bury properly if I outlive her. I believe this is better than tormenting men and seducing women like my cousin Don Caracucarador, the inquisitor of the faith.


This is a faithful summary of the conversation between Mr. Freind and the Bachelor Don Papalamiendos, since called by us Papa Dexando. This curious dialogue was drawn up by Jacob Hull, one of my lord's secretaries.

This is an accurate summary of the conversation between Mr. Freind and Bachelor Don Papalamiendos, now referred to as Papa Dexando. This interesting dialogue was written by Jacob Hull, one of my lord's secretaries.

After this conversation the Bachelor took me aside and said:

After this conversation, the Bachelor pulled me aside and said:

"This Englishman, whom I took at first for an anthropagus, must be a very good man; for he is a theologian and can keep his temper."

"This Englishman, who I initially thought was a savage, must be a really good person; because he’s a theologian and can control his temper."

I informed him that Mr. Freind was tolerant, or a quaker, and a descendant of the daughter of William Penn, who founded Philadelphia. "Quaker, Philadelphia," he cried, "I never heard of those sects."

I told him that Mr. Freind was open-minded, or a Quaker, and a descendant of William Penn's daughter, who founded Philadelphia. "Quaker, Philadelphia," he exclaimed, "I’ve never heard of those groups."

I gave him some information on the subject. He could scarcely believe me. It seemed to him like another universe. And, indeed, he was in the right.

I shared some information with him about the topic. He could hardly believe me. It felt like a whole different world to him. And, honestly, he was right.


CHAPTER IV.

JOHN COMES BACK TO LONDON AND GETS INVOLVED WITH THE WRONG CROWD.

While our worthy philosopher Freind was enlightening the priests of Barcelona, and his son John delighting the ladies, Lord Peterborough lost all favor with the queen and arch-duke for seizing Barcelona for them. The courtiers censured him for taking the city contrary to all rule, with an army less strong by half than the garrison. At first the arch-duke was highly incensed; and our friend was obliged to print an apology for the general. Yet this arch-duke, who had come to conquer Spain, had not the worth of his chocolate. All Queen Anne had given him was squandered.

While our esteemed philosopher Freind was educating the priests of Barcelona, and his son John was charming the ladies, Lord Peterborough fell out of favor with the queen and archduke for capturing Barcelona for them. The courtiers criticized him for taking the city against all protocol, with an army that was half the size of the garrison. At first, the archduke was very angry; and our friend had to publish an apology on behalf of the general. Yet this archduke, who had come to conquer Spain, was not worth his chocolate. Everything Queen Anne had given him was wasted.

Montecuculi, in his Memoirs, says three things are necessary to maintain a war; 1st, money, 2nd, money, and 3rd, money. The arch-duke wrote from Guadalaxara, where he was on the 11th of August, 1706, to Lord Peterborough, a long letter signed "Yo el Rey," in which he begged him to hasten to Genoa and raise on credit £100,000. So our Sartorius, from general of an army, thus became a Genoese banker. He communicated his distress to our friend Freind. They started for Genoa. I went with them, for you know my heart leads me thither. I admired the skill and spirit of conciliation my friend displayed in this delicate business. I saw at once that intelligence may meet every exigency. Our great Locke was a physician; he became the first metaphysician in Europe, and restored the value of the British coinage. In three days Freind raised the £100,000; but the court of Charles the VI. contrived to squander it in three weeks. After this, the general, accompanied by his theologian, was obliged to repair to London to justify himself before the parliament for conquering Catalonia against all rule, and for ruining himself in the common cause. The affair was protracted and vexatious, as are all party disputes.

Montecuculi, in his Memoirs, states that three things are essential to sustain a war: 1st, money, 2nd, money, and 3rd, money. The archduke wrote from Guadalaxara, where he was on August 11, 1706, to Lord Peterborough, a lengthy letter signed "Yo el Rey," asking him to hurry to Genoa and raise £100,000 on credit. So, our Sartorius went from being a general of an army to a Genoese banker. He shared his troubles with our friend Freind. They headed to Genoa, and I went with them because you know my heart pulls me there. I admired the skill and knack for conciliation my friend showed in this delicate situation. I realized that intelligence can tackle any challenge. Our great Locke was a physician; he became the top metaphysician in Europe and restored the worth of British currency. In three days, Freind raised £100,000, but the court of Charles VI managed to waste it in three weeks. After this, the general, along with his theologian, had to go to London to justify himself to Parliament for conquering Catalonia against all norms and for bankrupting himself for the common good. The situation dragged on and was frustrating, as all party disputes tend to be.

You know that Mr. Freind was a member of parliament before he became a priest; and he is the only person who has been allowed to combine functions so opposed. One day, when Freind was thinking over a speech he intended to deliver in the house (of which he was a most respectable member), a Spanish lady was announced as desirous of seeing him on particular business. It was Donna Boca Vermeja herself, and in tears. Our good friend ordered a luncheon. She took some refreshment, dried her eyes, and thus began:

You know that Mr. Freind was a member of parliament before he became a priest, and he's the only person allowed to combine such opposing roles. One day, while Freind was thinking about a speech he planned to give in the house (where he was a highly respected member), a Spanish lady was announced who wanted to see him about something important. It was Donna Boca Vermeja herself, and she was in tears. Our good friend ordered lunch. She had some food, dried her eyes, and started to speak:

"You will remember, sir, when you went to Genoa, you ordered your son John to leave Barcelona for London, and to commence his duties as a clerk in the exchequer, a post which your influence had obtained for him. He embarked in the Triton with a young bachelor of arts, Don Papa Dexando, and others whom you had converted. You may well suppose that I, with my dear friend Las Nalgas, accompanied them."

"You will remember, sir, when you went to Genoa, you told your son John to leave Barcelona for London and start his job as a clerk in the treasury, a position that your influence had secured for him. He boarded the Triton with a young bachelor of arts, Don Papa Dexando, and others whom you had convinced. You can imagine that I, along with my dear friend Las Nalgas, joined them."

Boca Vermeja then told him, again shedding tears, how John was jealous, or affected to be jealous, of the bachelor,—how a certain Madame Clive-Hart, a very bold, spiteful, masculine, young married lady, had enslaved his mind,—how he lived with libertines who had no fear of God,—how, in a word, he neglected Boca Vermeja for the artful Clive-Hart; and all because Clive-Hart had a little more red and white in her complexion than poor Boca Vermeja.

Boca Vermeja then told him, crying again, how John was jealous, or pretended to be jealous, of the bachelor—how a certain Madame Clive-Hart, a very bold, spiteful, masculine young married woman, had captured his thoughts—how he hung out with libertines who didn't fear God—how, in short, he ignored Boca Vermeja for the cunning Clive-Hart; and all because Clive-Hart had a bit more color in her complexion than poor Boca Vermeja.

"I will look into the matter at leisure," said the worthy Mr. Freind. "I must now attend parliament, to look after Lord Peterborough's business."

"I'll take some time to look into it," said the respectable Mr. Freind. "I need to head to parliament now to take care of Lord Peterborough's affairs."

Accordingly, to parliament he went; where I heard him deliver a firm and concise discourse, free from commonplace epithets, and circumlocutions. He never invoked a law or a testimony. He quoted, enforced, and applied them. He did not say they had taken the religion of the court by surprise, by accusing lord Peterborough of exposing Queen Anne's troops to risk; because it had nothing to do with religion. He did not call a conjecture a demonstration, nor forget his respect to an august parliament, by using common jokes. He did not call Lord Peterborough his client, because client signifies a plebian protected by a senator. Freind spoke with confidence and modesty; he was listened to in silence, only disturbed by cries of "Hear him, hear him."

So, he went to parliament, where I heard him give a strong and clear speech, avoiding clichés and long-winded phrases. He never mentioned a law or a testimony in a way that felt forced. He quoted, supported, and applied them. He didn’t say they had caught the court's religion off guard by accusing Lord Peterborough of putting Queen Anne's troops in danger, since it wasn’t about religion. He didn’t confuse a guess with a fact, nor did he disrespect the esteemed parliament by making ordinary jokes. He didn’t refer to Lord Peterborough as his client, because "client" implies a commoner protected by a senator. Freind spoke with both confidence and humility; people listened in silence, occasionally interrupted by shouts of "Hear him, hear him."

The House of Commons passed a vote of thanks to Earl Peterborough, instead of condemning him. His lordship obtained the same justice from the House of Peers, and prepared to set out with his dear Freind to deliver the kingdom of Spain to the arch-duke. This did not take place, solely because things do not always turn out as we wish them to.

The House of Commons passed a vote of thanks to Earl Peterborough instead of condemning him. He received the same treatment from the House of Peers and got ready to leave with his dear friend to hand over the kingdom of Spain to the archduke. This didn’t happen, simply because things don’t always go as we want them to.

On leaving the house, our first care was to enquire after the health of John. We learnt that he was leading a dissipated and debauched life with Mrs. Clive-Hart, and a party of young men,—intelligent,—but atheists, who believed:

On leaving the house, our first concern was to ask about John's health. We found out that he was living a wild and reckless life with Mrs. Clive-Hart and a group of young men—smart, but atheists—who believed:

"That man is in no respect superior to the brutes;—that he lives and dies as they do;—that both spring from and both return to the earth;—that wisdom and virtue consist in enjoyment and in living with those we love, as Solomon says at the end of the 'Coheleth,' which we call 'Ecclesiastes.'"

"That man is in no way superior to animals; he lives and dies just like they do; both come from and return to the earth; that true wisdom and virtue lie in enjoying life and spending time with those we love, as Solomon mentions at the end of 'Coheleth,' which we refer to as 'Ecclesiastes.'"

These sentiments were chiefly advanced among them by one Warburton,[1] a very forward licentious fellow. I have glanced at some of the poor author's MSS., which heaven grant may not one day be printed. Warburton pretends that Moses did not believe in the immortality of the soul, because he never speaks of it, and considers that to be the only proof of his divine mission. This absurd conclusion leads to the supposition that the religion of the Jews is false. Infidels thence argue that ours, being founded thereon, is false also; and ours, which is the best of all, being false, all others are, if possible, still more false: therefore there is no religion. Hence some conclude that there is no God. Let us add to these conclusions, that this little Warburton is an intriguing, slandering fellow. See what peril!

These opinions were mainly pushed forward by a guy named Warburton,[1] a really bold and reckless person. I’ve looked at some of the poor author's manuscripts, and I hope they never get published. Warburton claims that Moses didn’t believe in the immortality of the soul because he never mentions it, and he thinks that’s the only proof of his divine mission. This ridiculous conclusion suggests that the Jewish religion is false. Skeptics then argue that ours, which is based on it, is also false; and since ours, the best of all, is false, all others must be even more so: leading to the belief that there’s no religion at all. As a result, some conclude that there is no God. Let’s also add that this little Warburton is a scheming, slandering character. Just look at this danger!

But worse than all, John was head over ears in debt, and had a strange way of paying. One of his creditors came to him with a claim for a hundred guineas, while we were in the house. John, who always appeared polite and gentle, fought his creditor, and paid him with a sword-wound. It was apprehended the wounded man would die; and John, notwithstanding lord Peterborough's protection, ran the risk of imprisonment and hanging.

But worse than everything else, John was deeply in debt and had a strange way of settling his bills. One of his creditors approached him with a demand for a hundred guineas while we were in the house. John, who always seemed polite and gentle, ended up fighting his creditor and paid him with a sword wound. It was feared that the injured man would die, and John, despite Lord Peterborough's protection, faced the risk of imprisonment and execution.

[1] In 1737 Bishop Warburton published his famous work, The Divine Legation of Moses, in which he asserted, "that the doctrine of a future state of reward and punishment was omitted in the books of Moses," and then proceeded to demonstrate "from that very omission, that a system which could dispense with a doctrine, the very bond and cement of human society, must have come from God, and that the people to whom it was given must have been placed under His immediate superintendence." In other words, the divine origin of the Mosaic "system" is demonstrated, because Moses did not teach to the chosen people the doctrine of a future life beyond the grave. Voltaire clearly saw the fallacy of this fantastic argument, and has not failed to severely satirize the right reverend author.

Below is a short piece of text (5 words or fewer). Modernize it into contemporary English if there's enough context, but do not add or omit any information. If context is insufficient, return it unchanged. Do not add commentary, and do not modify any placeholders. If you see placeholders of the form __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_x__, you must keep them exactly as-is so they can be replaced with links. In 1737, Bishop Warburton published his well-known work, The Divine Legation of Moses, where he claimed, "that the idea of a future state of reward and punishment was left out of the books of Moses," and then went on to argue "from that very omission that a system which could do without a doctrine, the very foundation of human society, must have come from God, and that the people who received it must have been under His direct supervision." In other words, the divine origin of the Mosaic "system" is proven because Moses did not teach the chosen people about life after death. Voltaire clearly recognized the flaw in this extravagant argument and did not hesitate to mock the right reverend author.

Robert Carruthers, Esq., in his Life of Alexander Pope styles Bishop Warburton "a learned, turbulent, ambitious adventurer"—"an indefatigable and unscrupulous divine," and says of The Divine Legation of Moses, that it was "so learned, so novel, so paradoxical, so arrogant and absurd, that it took the world as it were by storm, and challenged universal attention."

Robert Carruthers, Esq., in his Life of Alexander Pope refers to Bishop Warburton as "a knowledgeable, disruptive, ambitious adventurer"—"an tireless and unprincipled clergyman," and comments on The Divine Legation of Moses, describing it as "so scholarly, so original, so contradictory, so bold and ridiculous, that it captivated the world and demanded widespread attention."

Dr. Johnson says that Warburton's "diction is coarse and impure, and his sentences are unmeasured;" and a writer in the seventh volume of the Quarterly Review (as quoted by George Godfrey Cuningham, Esq., in his Lives of Eminent and illustrious Englishmen) says: "the rudeness and vulgarity of his manners as a controvertist, removed all restraints of decency or decorum in scattering his jests about him. His taste seems to have been neither just nor delicate." He combined "the powers of a giant with the temper of a ruffian."

Dr. Johnson says that Warburton's "language is rough and impure, and his sentences are inconsistent;" and a writer in the seventh volume of the Quarterly Review (as quoted by George Godfrey Cuningham, Esq., in his Lives of Eminent and Illustrious Englishmen) states: "the crudeness and coarseness of his behavior as a debater removed all limits of decency or decorum in throwing around his jokes. His taste appears to have been neither appropriate nor refined." He combined "the strength of a giant with the attitude of a thug."

Gibbon, in his History of Christianity, pointedly alludes to the author of The Divine Legation of Moses, and satirically styles the omission of the doctrine of immortality from the law of Moses, as "a mysterious dispensation of providence." "The real merit of Warburton," he says, "was degraded by the pride and presumption with which he pronounced his infallible decrees."—E.

Gibbon, in his History of Christianity, pointedly mentions the author of The Divine Legation of Moses and sarcastically refers to the absence of the doctrine of immortality from Moses' law as "a mysterious act of providence." "The true value of Warburton," he states, "was diminished by the arrogance and overconfidence with which he declared his infallible judgments."—E.


CHAPTER V.

They want to get John married.

You remember the anguish of the venerable Freind when he learned that John was in the prison of the inquisition at Barcelona. Imagine his rage when he learned of the debauchery and dissipation of the unfortunate lad, his way of paying debts, and his danger of getting hanged! Yet Freind restrained himself. This excellent man's self-command is really astonishing. His reason regulates his heart, as a good master rules his servants. He does every thing reasonably, and judges wisely with as much celerity as hasty people act rashly.

You remember the pain the respected Freind felt when he found out that John was in the inquisition prison in Barcelona. Just imagine his anger when he learned about the reckless behavior and wild living of the poor guy, how he was dealing with his debts, and the real risk of getting hanged! Yet, Freind held himself back. This admirable man’s self-control is truly remarkable. His mind keeps his emotions in check, much like a good boss manages his employees. He approaches everything sensibly and makes decisions wisely, as quickly as impulsive people act thoughtlessly.

"This is no time to lecture John," said he. "We must snatch him from the precipice."

"This isn't the time to lecture John," he said. "We need to pull him back from the edge."

You must know that the day previously, our friend had come into a handsome sum, left him by George Hubert, his uncle. He went himself in search of our great surgeon, Cheselden. We found him at home, and then proceeded together to the wounded creditor. The wound was inspected. It was not dangerous. Freind gave the sufferer a hundred guineas as a first step, and fifty others by way of reparation, and then asked forgiveness for his son. Indeed, he expressed his regret so touchingly, that the poor man embraced him, and, weeping, wished to return the money.

You should know that the day before, our friend received a significant inheritance from his uncle, George Hubert. He went himself to find our great surgeon, Cheselden. We found him at home, and then we all went together to see the injured creditor. The wound was examined. It wasn’t life-threatening. Freind gave the injured man a hundred guineas as a first payment, and another fifty as compensation, then asked for his son’s forgiveness. He expressed his remorse so sincerely that the poor man hugged him and, crying, wanted to give the money back.

This sight moved and surprised young Mr. Cheselden, whose reputation is becoming very great, and whose heart is as kind as his hand is skillful.

This sight amazed and surprised young Mr. Cheselden, whose reputation is growing very strong, and whose heart is as kind as his skills are sharp.

I was carried beyond myself; never had I admired and loved our friend so much.

I was overwhelmed; I had never admired and loved our friend as much as I did then.

On returning home, I asked him if he did not intend to send for his son, and to admonish him.

On returning home, I asked him if he planned to call for his son and give him a warning.

"No," said he. "Let him feel his faults before I speak of them. Let us sup together to-night. We will see what in honesty I ought to do. Examples correct better than reprimands."

"No," he said. "Let him realize his mistakes before I talk about them. Let's have dinner together tonight. I'll figure out what I should do honestly. Examples teach better than reprimands."

While waiting for supper, I called on John. I found him in the state which all men experience after their first crime,—that is, pale, with sunken eyes and hoarse voice,—absent, and answering at random when spoken to.

While waiting for dinner, I called on John. I found him in the state that all men go through after their first crime—pale, with sunken eyes and a hoarse voice—distant, and answering randomly when spoken to.

I told him what his father had just done.

I told him what his dad had just done.

He looked at me steadily, then turned away to dash a tear from his eye. I argued well from this, and began to hope that John would yet prove a worthy man. I felt ready to clasp him in my arms, when Madame Clive-Hart came in, accompanied by a wild fellow, called Birton.

He looked at me intently, then turned away to wipe a tear from his eye. I interpreted this positively and started to believe that John might still turn out to be a good man. I felt ready to embrace him when Madame Clive-Hart walked in, accompanied by a wild guy named Birton.

"Well," said the lady, laughing, "have you really killed a man to-day? Some tiresome fellow. 'Tis well to rid the world of such people. When you are next in the killing mood, pray think of my husband. He plagues me to death."

"Well," said the lady, laughing, "have you actually killed someone today? Some annoying guy. It's good to get rid of people like that. The next time you're in the mood to kill, please think of my husband. He drives me crazy."

I surveyed this woman from head to foot. She was handsome, but there was something sinister in her countenance. John dared not reply, and, confused by my presence, looked downward.

I looked this woman up and down. She was attractive, but there was something unsettling about her expression. John didn’t dare respond, and feeling awkward because I was there, he stared at the ground.

"What's the matter?" said Birton. "You look as if you had done something wrong. I come to give you absolution. Here is a little book I have just bought at Lintot's. It proves as clearly as two and two make four, that there is neither God, nor vice, nor virtue,—a very consoling fact! So, let us drink together."

"What's going on?" Birton asked. "You look like you've done something wrong. I'm here to give you forgiveness. Here’s a little book I just bought at Lintot's. It clearly shows, just like two plus two equals four, that there’s no God, no wrongdoing, and no goodness—a very comforting thought! So, let’s have a drink together."

On hearing this singular discourse, I withdrew quickly, and represented to Mr. Freind how much his son required his advice.

On hearing this unusual conversation, I quickly stepped back and told Mr. Freind how much his son needed his guidance.

"I see it as clearly as you do," said this kind father; "but let us begin by paying his debts."

"I see it just as clearly as you do," said this kind father; "but let's start by paying off his debts."

They were all discharged the next day. John came and threw himself at his father's feet. Will you believe it? The father made no reproaches. He left him to conscience; only observing, "Remember, my son, there is no happiness apart from virtue."

They were all released the next day. John came and threw himself at his father's feet. Can you believe it? The father didn’t say anything hurtful. He left it to John's conscience, just saying, "Remember, my son, there is no happiness without virtue."

Mr. Freind then saw that the bachelor married Boca Vermeja, who really loved him, notwithstanding her tears for John. Women know how to confuse such feelings wonderfully. One would almost say that their hearts are a bundle of contradictions, perhaps because they were originally formed from one of our ribs.

Mr. Freind then saw that the bachelor married Boca Vermeja, who truly loved him, despite her tears for John. Women have a remarkable way of mixing up those feelings. One might say that their hearts are a collection of contradictions, maybe because they were originally created from one of our ribs.

Our generous Freind gave her also a dowry, and took care to secure places for his converts. It is not enough to take care of people's souls, if we neglect to provide for their present wants.

Our generous friend also gave her a dowry and made sure to secure jobs for his converts. It’s not enough to care for people’s souls if we ignore their immediate needs.

After performing these good actions, with his astonishing sang froid, he concluded he had nothing more to do to restore his son to virtue, than to marry him to a young person of beauty, virtue, talents, and some wealth. This, indeed, was the only way to wean him from the detestable Clive-Hart, and others, whom he frequented.

After doing all these good deeds, with his impressive calmness, he decided that the only thing left to restore his son to virtue was to marry him off to a young woman who was beautiful, virtuous, talented, and had some money. This was really the only way to pull him away from the awful Clive-Hart and the others he hung out with.

I had heard speak of a Miss Primerose, a young heiress, brought up by her relative, Lady Hervey. The Earl of Peterborough introduced me to Lady Hervey. I saw Miss Primerose, and considered her a proper person to fulfill the wishes of my friend. John, in the midst of his dissipation, had great reverence and even affection for his father. He was chiefly affected that his father had never blamed him for his follies. Debts paid without informing him; wise counsels seasonably given, and without reprimand; proofs of friendship given from time to time, yet free from the familiarity which might depreciate them. All this went to John's heart, for he was both intelligent and sensitive.

I had heard about a Miss Primerose, a young heiress raised by her relative, Lady Hervey. The Earl of Peterborough introduced me to Lady Hervey. I met Miss Primerose and thought she was a suitable person to meet my friend’s wishes. John, despite his reckless lifestyle, had a deep respect and even affection for his father. What affected him the most was that his father had never criticized him for his mistakes. Debts were paid without him being told; wise advice was given at the right moment, and without any scolding; acts of friendship were shown from time to time, yet without the kind of closeness that might lessen their value. All of this touched John's heart, as he was both perceptive and sensitive.

Lord Peterborough introduced the father and son to Lady Hervey. I perceived that the extreme beauty of John soon made a favorable impression on Miss Primerose; for I saw her look stealthily at him and blush. John seemed only polite; and Primerose admitted to Lady Hervey that she wished his politeness might become love.

Lord Peterborough introduced the father and son to Lady Hervey. I noticed that John’s striking looks quickly caught Miss Primerose's attention; I saw her glance at him and blush. John appeared to be just polite, and Primerose confided to Lady Hervey that she hoped his politeness would turn into love.

The young man soon discovered the worth of this charming girl, though he was the complete slave of Clive-Hart. He was like the Indian invited to gather celestial fruit, but restrained by the claws of a dragon.

The young man quickly realized the value of this charming girl, even though he was completely under Clive-Hart's control. He was like the Indian invited to collect heavenly fruit, but held back by the dragon's claws.

But here the recollection of what I witnessed overwhelms me. Tears moisten my paper. When I recover, I will resume my tale.

But now, the memory of what I saw overwhelms me. Tears are soaking my paper. When I gather myself, I will continue my story.


CHAPTER VI.

A BAD ADVENTURE.

The marriage of John and the lovely Primerose was about to be celebrated. Freind never felt more joy. I shared it. But the occasion was changed into one of deep sorrow and suffering.

The marriage of John and the beautiful Primerose was about to be celebrated. Freind had never felt more joy. I shared it. But the occasion turned into one of deep sorrow and pain.

Clive-Hart loved John, though constantly faithless. They say this is the lot of those women who, violating modesty, renounce their honor. Especially she deceived John for her dear Birton and for another of the same school. They lived together in debauch; and, what is perhaps peculiar to our nation, they had all of them sense and worth. Unfortunately, they employed their sense against God. Madame Clive-Hart's house was a rendezvous for atheists. Well for them had they been such atheists as Epicurus, Leontium, Lucretius, Memmius, and Spinoza,—the most upright man of Holland,—or Hobbes, so faithful to his unfortunate king, Charles I.

Clive-Hart loved John, but was always unfaithful. People say this is the fate of women who, by rejecting modesty, give up their honor. She particularly betrayed John for her beloved Birton and another guy from the same crowd. They lived together in indulgence; and, what might be unique to our country, they were all intelligent and admirable. Unfortunately, they used their intelligence against God. Madame Clive-Hart's home was a meeting place for atheists. They would have been better off if they were atheists like Epicurus, Leontium, Lucretius, Memmius, and Spinoza—the most honorable man from Holland—or Hobbes, who was so loyal to his unfortunate king, Charles I.

But however it may be, Clive-Hart, jealous of the pure and gentle Primerose, could not endure the marriage. She devised a vengeance, which I conceive to be unsurpassed even in London, where I believe our fathers have witnessed crimes of every kind. She learned that Miss Primerose, returning from shopping, would pass by her door. She took advantage of the opportunity, and had a sewer opened, communicating with her premises.

But no matter what, Clive-Hart, envious of the innocent and kind Primerose, couldn't stand the marriage. She came up with a scheme for revenge that I believe is unmatched even in London, where our fathers have seen all sorts of crimes. She found out that Miss Primerose, coming back from shopping, would walk past her door. She seized the moment and had a sewer opened that connected to her property.

Miss Primerose's carriage, on its return, was obliged to draw up at this obstruction. Clive-Hart goes out, and entreats her to alight and take some refreshment, while the passage is being cleared. This invitation made Miss Primerose hesitate; but she perceived John standing in the hall, and, yielding to an impulse stronger than her discretion, she got out. John offered her his hand. She enters. Clive-Hart's husband was a silly drunkard, as hateful to his wife as he was submissive and troublesome by his civility. He presents refreshments to the young lady, and drinks after her. Mrs. Clive-Hart takes them away instantly and brings others. By this time the street is cleared. Miss Primerose enters her carriage, and drives to her mother's.

Miss Primerose's carriage, on its way back, had to stop at an obstruction. Clive-Hart steps out and asks her to get down and have some refreshments while they clear the way. This invitation makes Miss Primerose hesitate, but she spots John standing in the hall and, giving in to a stronger impulse than her better judgment, she gets out. John offers her his hand. She enters. Clive-Hart's husband is a pathetic drunk, as unpleasant to his wife as he is annoying with his politeness. He offers refreshments to the young lady and drinks after her. Mrs. Clive-Hart quickly takes those away and brings her something else. By this time, the street is clear. Miss Primerose gets back in her carriage and heads to her mother's.

She soon falls sick, and complains of giddiness. They suppose it is occasioned by the motion of the carriage. But the illness increased, and the next day she was dying.

She quickly becomes ill and complains of dizziness. They think it’s caused by the movement of the carriage. But her condition worsened, and by the next day, she was dying.

Mr. Freind and I hastened to the house. We found the lovely creature pale and livid, a prey to convulsions,—her lips open, her eyes glazed, and always staring. Black spots disfigured her face and throat. Her mother had fainted on her bed. Cheselden employed in vain all the resources of his art. I will not attempt to describe Freind's anguish. It was intense. I hurried to Clive-Hart's house, and found that the husband was just dead, and that the wife had fled.

Mr. Freind and I rushed to the house. We found the beautiful girl pale and lifeless, in the grip of convulsions—her lips parted, her eyes glazed and staring. Dark spots marred her face and throat. Her mother had passed out on her bed. Cheselden tried everything he could but nothing worked. I won’t even try to describe Freind’s pain. It was overwhelming. I hurried to Clive-Hart's house and found that the husband had just died and the wife had run away.

I sought John. He could not be found. A servant told me that his mistress had besought him not to leave her in her misfortune, and that they had gone off together, accompanied by Birton, no one knew whither.

I looked for John. He was nowhere to be found. A servant told me that his mistress had urged him not to abandon her in her time of need, and that they had left together, along with Birton, but no one knew where they had gone.

Overcome by these rapid and numerous shocks, terrified at the frightful suspicions which haunted me, I hastened to the dying lady.

Overwhelmed by these sudden and many shocks, scared by the terrible suspicions that haunted me, I rushed to the dying woman.

"Yet," said I to myself, "if this abominable woman threw herself on John's generosity, it does not follow that he is an accomplice. John is incapable of so horrible and cowardly a crime, which he had no interest in committing, which deprives him of a charming wife, and renders him odious to the human race. Weak, he has allowed himself to be drawn away by a wretch, of whose crime he was ignorant. He did not see, as I have done, Primerose dying; he never would have deserted her pillow to accompany the poisoner of his bride. Oppressed by these thoughts, I entered, shuddering, the room which I expected contained a corpse."

"Yet," I said to myself, "just because this awful woman threw herself at John's kindness, it doesn’t mean he’s involved. John is incapable of such a terrible and cowardly act, especially one he had no reason to commit, which would take away his lovely wife and make him hated by everyone. Weak as he is, he has let himself be misled by someone awful, whose crime he didn’t know about. He didn’t see, as I have, Primerose dying; he would never have left her side to go with the person who poisoned his bride. Overwhelmed by these thoughts, I stepped into the room, shuddering, expecting to find a corpse."

She was still living. Old Clive-Hart died soon, because his constitution was worn out by debauchery; but young Primerose was sustained by a temperament as robust as her blood was pure. She saw me, and enquired, in a tender tone, after John. A flood of tears gushed from my eyes. I could not reply. I was unable to speak to the father. I was obliged to leave her to the faithful hands that served her.

She was still alive. Old Clive-Hart died soon after because his body had been worn out by excess; but young Primerose was kept going by a strong constitution and pure blood. She saw me and asked, in a gentle tone, about John. A rush of tears filled my eyes. I couldn't respond. I couldn't talk to the father. I had to leave her in the caring hands that looked after her.

We went to inform his lordship of this disaster. He is as kind to his friends as terrible to his foes. Never was there a more compassionate man with so stern a countenance. He took as much pains to assist the dying lady, and to overtake the abandoned woman, and discover John, as he had done to give Spain to the arch-duke. But all our search proved in vain. I thought it would kill Freind. Now we flew to the residence of Miss Primerose, whose dying was protracted, now to Rochester, Dover, Portsmouth. Couriers were dispatched every where. We wandered about at random, like dogs that have lost the scent;—while the unfortunate mother expected hourly the death of her child.

We went to tell his lordship about this disaster. He’s as kind to his friends as he is tough on his enemies. Never has there been a more compassionate man with such a serious face. He put as much effort into helping the dying lady, finding the abandoned woman, and tracking down John as he did to give Spain to the archduke. But all our searching ended up being in vain. I thought it would break Freind’s heart. We rushed to Miss Primerose’s place, where her dying process dragged on, then to Rochester, Dover, Portsmouth. Messengers were sent everywhere. We wandered around aimlessly, like dogs that have lost the scent—while the unfortunate mother anxiously awaited the death of her child.

At length we learned that a handsome lady, accompanied by three young men and some servants, had embarked at Newport, in Monmouthshire, in a little smuggling vessel that was in the roads, and had sailed for North America.

At last we found out that an attractive woman, along with three young men and a few servants, had boarded a small smuggling ship at Newport in Monmouthshire and had set sail for North America.

Freind sighed deeply at this intelligence, then suddenly recovering himself, and pressing my hand, he said:

Freind sighed deeply at this news, then suddenly composed himself and, grasping my hand, he said:

"I must go to America."

"I need to go to America."

I replied, weeping with admiration: "I will not leave you. But what can you do?"

I responded, crying with admiration: "I won’t leave you. But what can you do?"

"Restore my only son," said he, "to virtue and his country, or bury myself with him."

"Bring my only son back to virtue and his country, or I'll bury myself with him."

Indeed, from our information, we could not doubt but he had fled thither with that horrible woman, Birton, and the other villains of the party.

Indeed, based on what we know, we couldn't doubt that he had escaped there with that terrible woman, Birton, and the other criminals in the group.

The good father took leave of Lord Peterborough, who returned soon after to Catalonia; and we went to Bristol and freighted a ship for the Delaware and the bay of Maryland.

The good father said goodbye to Lord Peterborough, who shortly returned to Catalonia; and we went to Bristol and loaded a ship for the Delaware and the bay of Maryland.

Freind, knowing these coasts to be in the heart of the English possessions, thought it right to go thither, whether his son had sought concealment in the North or South.

Freind, knowing these coasts were in the heart of English territory, thought it was right to go there, whether his son had gone into hiding in the North or South.

He supplied himself with money, letters of credit, and provisions, and left a confidential servant in London, to write to him by ships that were leaving every week for Maryland or Pennsylvania.

He got himself cash, letters of credit, and supplies, and left a trusted servant in London to write to him via ships that were departing every week for Maryland or Pennsylvania.

We started. The crew, judging from the placid countenance of my friend, thought we were on an excursion of pleasure. But when he was alone with me, his sighs expressed the depth of his anguish. At times I congratulated myself on the happiness of consoling such a noble mind.

We set off. The crew, seeing my friend's calm expression, thought we were on a fun trip. But when he was alone with me, his sighs revealed how troubled he really was. Sometimes, I felt proud to be able to comfort such a great person.

A west wind kept us a long time about the Sorlingues. We were obliged to steer for New England. What enquiries we made on every coast! What time and toil were thrown away! At length a northeast wind arising, we steered for Maryland. There, it was said, John and his companions had taken refuge.

A west wind kept us stuck around the Sorlingues for a long time. We had to head towards New England. The questions we asked at every coast! What a waste of time and effort! Finally, a northeast wind picked up, and we headed for Maryland. It was rumored that John and his companions had found safety there.

The fugitives had sojourned on the coast more than a month, and had astonished the whole colony by indulgences in luxury and debauch, till then unknown in that part of the world. Then they disappeared; no one knew whither.

The fugitives had stayed on the coast for over a month and had shocked the entire colony with their indulgence in luxury and excess, which had never been seen in that part of the world before. Then they vanished; no one knew where they went.

We advanced into the bay, intending to go to Baltimore for fresh information.

We moved into the bay, planning to head to Baltimore for the latest updates.


CHAPTER VII.

WHAT HAPPENED IN AMERICA.

On the way we found, to the right, a very handsome house. It was low, but convenient and neat, placed between a spacious barn and a large stable; the whole enclosed by a garden, well stocked with fruits of the country. It belonged to an old man, who invited us to alight at his retreat. He did not look like an Englishman; his accent showed us he was a foreigner. We anchored and went on shore. The old man welcomed us cordially, and gave us the best cheer to be had in the New World.

On the way, we spotted a really nice house on the right. It was low but cozy and tidy, situated between a big barn and a large stable, all surrounded by a garden filled with local fruits. It belonged to an old man who invited us to stop by his place. He didn’t look like an Englishman, and his accent revealed he was a foreigner. We docked and went ashore. The old man greeted us warmly and served us the best food available in the New World.

We discreetly insinuated our wish to know to whom we were indebted for so kind a reception.

We subtly hinted that we wanted to know who we were grateful to for such a warm welcome.

"I am," said he, "of the race you call savages. I was born on the Blue Mountains, which bound this country in the west. In my childhood I was bitten by a rattlesnake, and abandoned. I was on the point of death. The father of the present Lord Baltimore, falling in with me, confided me to his physician; and to him I owe my life. I soon discharged the debt; for I have saved his in a skirmish with the neighboring tribes. He gave me, in return, this habitation."

"I am," he said, "from the group you refer to as savages. I was born in the Blue Mountains, which border this country to the west. When I was a child, I was bitten by a rattlesnake and left for dead. I was on the verge of dying. The father of the current Lord Baltimore encountered me and took me to his doctor; I owe my life to him. I quickly repaid that debt, as I saved his life during a fight with nearby tribes. In exchange, he gave me this home."

Mr. Freind enquired if he was of Lord Baltimore's religion?

Mr. Freind asked if he followed Lord Baltimore's religion.

"How," said he, "would you have me profess another man's religion? I have my own."

"How," he said, "can you expect me to follow someone else's religion? I have my own."

This short and energetic answer made us reflect a little.

This brief and lively response made us think for a moment.

"You have, then," said I, "your own law and your own God?"

"You have your own law and your own God, then?" I said.

"Yes," he replied, with an assurance wholly free from pride. "My God is there," and he pointed to heaven. "My law is here," and he put his hand on his breast.

"Yes," he replied, confidently and without a hint of arrogance. "My God is up there," and he pointed to the sky. "My law is right here," and he placed his hand on his chest.

My friend was struck with admiration, and, pressing my hand, he said:

My friend was filled with admiration, and, squeezing my hand, he said:

"This simple nature reasons more wisely than all the bachelors with whom we conversed at Barcelona."

"This simple nature understands things more wisely than all the bachelors we talked to in Barcelona."

He was anxious to know if he could gain any information respecting his son John. It was a weight that oppressed him. He enquired if his host had heard speak of some young people, who had made a great noise in the neighborhood.

He was eager to find out if he could get any information about his son John. It felt like a heavy burden on him. He asked his host if he had heard anything about some young people who had been causing a big stir in the area.

"Indeed I have," said he, "I received them in my house; and they were so satisfied with the reception I gave them, that they have carried away one of my daughters."

"Yes, I have," he replied, "I welcomed them into my home; and they were so pleased with the way I treated them that they took one of my daughters with them."

Judge of my friend's distress at this intelligence. In his emotion, he could not avoid exclaiming:

Judge of my friend's distress at this news. In his emotion, he couldn't help but exclaim:

"What! Has my son run away with your daughter?"

"What! Did my son run away with your daughter?"

"Good Englishman," said the host, "do not let that grieve you. I am glad to find he is your son. He is handsome, well made, and seems courageous. He did not run away with my dear Parouba; for you must know that Parouba is her name, because it is mine. Had he taken off Parouba, it would have been a robbery; and my five sons, who are now hunting some forty or fifty miles from here, would not have endured such an affront. It is a great sin to thieve. My daughter went of her own accord with these young people. She has gone to see the country, a pleasure one cannot deny to one of her age. These travelers will bring her back to me before a month is passed. I am sure of it. They promised to do so."

"Good Englishman," said the host, "don't let that bother you. I'm glad to find out he's your son. He’s handsome, well-built, and seems brave. He didn’t run off with my dear Parouba; you should know that Parouba is her name because it’s mine. If he had taken Parouba with him, it would have been theft, and my five sons, who are currently hunting about forty or fifty miles from here, wouldn’t have put up with that. Stealing is a serious sin. My daughter chose to go with these young people on her own. She’s off exploring the country, a pleasure that one can’t deny someone her age. These travelers will bring her back to me within a month. I’m sure of it. They promised to do so."

These words would have made me laugh, had not the evident distress of my friend severely afflicted me.

These words would have made me laugh, but the clear distress of my friend really upset me.

In the evening, just as we were about to start to take advantage of the wind, one of Parouba's sons arrived out of breath, his face expressing horror and despair.

In the evening, just as we were getting ready to make use of the wind, one of Parouba's sons showed up, breathless, with a look of horror and despair on his face.

"What is the matter, my son? I thought you were hunting far away. Are you wounded by some savage beast?"

"What’s wrong, son? I thought you were out hunting far away. Are you hurt by some wild animal?"

"No, father,—not wounded, yet in pain."

"No, dad—I'm not hurt, but I'm in pain."

"But whence do you come, son?"

"But where are you coming from, son?"

"From a distance of forty miles, without stopping; and I am almost dead."

"From forty miles away, non-stop; and I'm nearly dead."

The aged father makes him sit down. They give him restoratives. Mr. Freind and I, his little brothers and sisters, with the servants, crowd around him. When he recovered his breath, he exclaimed:

The elderly father has him sit down. They provide him with some refreshments. Mr. Freind and I, along with his younger siblings and the servants, gather around him. Once he catches his breath, he exclaims:

"Alas, my sister Parouba is a prisoner of war, and will no doubt be killed."

"Sadly, my sister Parouba is a prisoner of war and will surely be killed."

The worthy Parouba was grieved at this recital. Mr. Freind, feeling for him as a father, was struck to the very heart. At last, the son informed us that a party of silly young Englishmen had attacked, for diversion, the people of the mountains. He said, they had with them a very beautiful lady and her maid; and he knew not how his sister came to be with them. The handsome English lady had been scalped and killed; and his sister captured.

The noble Parouba was saddened by this story. Mr. Freind, caring for him like a father, was deeply affected. Finally, the son told us that a group of foolish young Englishmen had attacked the mountain people for fun. He said they had a very beautiful lady and her maid with them, and he didn't know how his sister ended up with them. The lovely English lady had been scalped and killed, and his sister was taken captive.

"I come here for aid against the people of the Blue Mountains. I will kill them too, and will retake my dear sister, or perish."

"I've come here for help against the people of the Blue Mountains. I'll kill them too, and I will rescue my dear sister or die trying."

Mr. Friend's habits of self-command supported him in this trying moment.

Mr. Friend's ability to keep himself in check helped him during this difficult moment.

"God has given me a son," said he. "Let him take both father and son, when the eternal decree shall go forth. My friend, I am tempted to think God sometimes acts by a special providence, since he avenges in America crimes committed in Europe, and since this wicked Clive-Hart died as she deserved. Perhaps the Sovereign of the universe does in his government punish even in this world crimes committed here. I dare not assert; I wish to think so; indeed I should believe it, were not such an opinion opposed to all metaphysical laws."

"God has given me a son," he said. "Let him take both the father and the son when the eternal decree is issued. My friend, I’m tempted to believe that God sometimes acts through special providence, since he punishes in America crimes committed in Europe, and since this wicked Clive-Hart died as she deserved. Maybe the Sovereign of the universe really punishes crimes committed in this world. I can’t say for sure; I want to believe it; in fact, I would believe it if such a view didn't contradict all metaphysical principles."

After these sad reflections on an event common in America, Freind resumed his usual demeanor.

After these sad thoughts about a situation that's common in America, Freind returned to his usual self.

"I have a good ship," said he to his host, "with abundant stores. Let us go up the gulf as near as we may to the Blue Mountains. My most anxious business now is to save your daughter. Let us go to your countrymen, say I bear the pipe of peace—that I am the grandson of Penn. That name alone will suffice."

"I've got a great ship," he said to his host, "with plenty of supplies. Let's head up the gulf as close as we can to the Blue Mountains. Right now, my biggest concern is saving your daughter. Let's go to your people and tell them I come in peace—that I'm the grandson of Penn. That name will be enough."

At the name of Penn, so much revered throughout North America, the worthy Parouba and his son felt the greatest respect and the greatest hope. We embarked, and in thirty-six hours reached Baltimore.

At the mention of Penn, so highly respected across North America, the distinguished Parouba and his son felt immense respect and great hope. We set out, and in thirty-six hours, we arrived in Baltimore.

We were scarcely in sight of this almost desert place, when we saw in the distance a numerous band of mountaineers descending to the plain, armed with axes, tomahawks, and those muskets which Europeans so foolishly sold to them, to procure skins. Already you might hear their frightful howlings. From another side we saw four persons approaching on horseback, accompanied by others on foot. We were taken for people of Baltimore, come there for the purpose of fighting. The horsemen galloped toward us, sword in hand. Our companions prepared to receive them. Mr. Freind, observing them steadily, shuddered for a moment; but soon resuming his sang-froid.

We were barely in sight of this almost deserted place when we saw a large group of mountaineers coming down to the plain, armed with axes, tomahawks, and those muskets that Europeans so foolishly sold to them for animal skins. You could already hear their terrifying howls. From another direction, we noticed four people riding horseback, accompanied by others on foot. They mistook us for Baltimore folks who had come to fight. The horsemen rushed toward us, swords drawn. Our companions got ready to confront them. Mr. Freind, watching them closely, felt a moment of fear but quickly regained his composure.

"Do not stir, my friends," said he. "Leave all to me."

"Don't move, my friends," he said. "Leave everything to me."

He advanced alone and unarmed toward the party. In a moment, we saw the chief let fall the bridle from his horse, spring to the ground, and fall prostrate. We uttered a cry of surprise, and advanced. It was John himself, who, bathed in tears, had fallen at the feet of his father. Neither of them was able to speak. Birton, and the two horsemen with him, alighted. But Birton, in his characteristic way, said:

He moved forward alone and unarmed towards the group. In an instant, we saw the chief drop the reins from his horse, jump down, and fall to the ground. We gasped in surprise and approached. It was John himself, who, crying uncontrollably, had fallen at his father's feet. Neither of them could find the words. Birton and the two horsemen with him dismounted. But Birton, in his usual manner, said:

"My dear Freind, I did not expect to see you here. You and I seem born for adventures. I am glad to see you."

"My dear friend, I didn’t expect to see you here. You and I seem meant for adventures. I’m glad to see you."

Freind, without deigning to reply, looked toward the army of mountaineers, now approaching us. He walked toward them, accompanied by Parouba, who acted as interpreter.

Freind, without bothering to respond, looked toward the army of mountaineers that was now approaching us. He walked over to them, accompanied by Parouba, who served as the interpreter.

"Fellow countrymen," said Parouba, "behold a descendant of Penn, who brings you the pipe of peace."

"Fellow countrymen," Parouba said, "check out a descendant of Penn, who brings you the peace pipe."

At these words, the eldest of the tribe raising his hands and eyes to heaven, exclaimed:

At these words, the oldest member of the tribe raised his hands and eyes to the sky and exclaimed:

"A son of Penn! He is welcome! May the Penns live for ever! The great Penn is our Manitou, our god. He and his were the only Europeans who did not deceive us, and seize on our land. He bought the territory we gave up to him; he paid for it liberally; he maintained peace among us; he brought us remedies for the few diseases we had caught from the Europeans. He taught us new arts. We never dug up against him and against his children the hatchet of war. For the Penns we always entertain respect."

"A son of Penn! He's welcome! May the Penn family live forever! The great Penn is our Manitou, our god. He and his were the only Europeans who didn’t deceive us or take our land by force. He purchased the territory we gave him; he paid fairly for it; he kept peace among us; he brought us cures for the few diseases we caught from the Europeans. He taught us new skills. We never turned to war against him or his family. We have always respected the Penns."

Freind immediately sent for thirty hams, as many pies and fowls, with two hundred bottles of Pontac, from the ship. He seated himself close to the chief of the Blue Mountains. John and his companions assisted at the festival. John would rather have been a hundred feet under the earth. His father said nothing to him; and this silence increased his confusion.

Freind quickly ordered thirty hams, as many pies and chickens, along with two hundred bottles of Pontac, from the ship. He sat down next to the chief of the Blue Mountains. John and his friends joined the celebration. John would have preferred to be a hundred feet underground. His father didn’t say anything to him, and this silence only made him more uncomfortable.

Birton, who cared for nothing, seemed very jovial. Freind, before he began to eat, said to Parouba:

Birton, who didn't care about anything, looked very cheerful. Before he started eating, Freind said to Parouba:

"One person, very dear to you, is waiting here. I mean your daughter."

"One person who means a lot to you is waiting here. I'm talking about your daughter."

The chief of the Blue Mountains ordered her to be brought. She had suffered no injury; she smiled to her brother and father, as if she had only returned from a walk.

The head of the Blue Mountains ordered her to be brought in. She had suffered no injuries; she smiled at her brother and father, as if she had just come back from a walk.

I took advantage of the freedom of the meal, to enquire why the warriors of the Blue Mountains had put to death Madame Clive-Hart, and had done nothing to Parouba's daughter.

I used the opportunity during the meal to ask why the warriors of the Blue Mountains killed Madame Clive-Hart but did nothing to Parouba's daughter.

"Because we are just," returned the chief. "That proud English woman belonged to the party that attacked us. She killed one of our men by firing a pistol behind him. We did nothing to Parouba, as soon as we ascertained that she was a daughter of our tribes, and only came here for diversion. Every one should be treated according to his desert."

"Because we are fair," replied the chief. "That arrogant English woman was part of the group that attacked us. She shot one of our men from behind. We did nothing to Parouba once we confirmed she was a daughter of our tribes and only came here for entertainment. Everyone should be treated based on their actions."

Freind was affected by this maxim, but he represented to them that the custom of burning captives at the stake, was degrading to worthy people; and that, with so much virtue, they should be less ferocious.

Freind was influenced by this saying, but he pointed out to them that the practice of burning captives at the stake was degrading to honorable people; and that, with so much virtue, they should be less brutal.

The chief then asked us what we did with those whom we killed in battle.

The chief then asked us what we did with those we killed in battle.

"We bury them."

"We lay them to rest."

"I understand. You leave them for worms to eat. Cannibals think proper to give themselves the preference. Their stomachs are a more honorable grave."

"I get it. You leave them for worms to eat. Cannibals think it’s fitting to choose themselves first. Their stomachs are a more honorable grave."

Birton supported with pleasure the opinions of the mountaineer. He said, the custom of boiling and roasting a neighbor must be both ancient and natural, since it prevailed in both hemispheres; and therefore it must be an innate idea;—that men were hunted before beasts, because it was easier to kill men than wolves;—that if the Jews, in their books, so long unknown, imagined that a certain Cain killed a certain Abel, it could only be with a view to eat him—that the same Jews admit they had often fed on human flesh;—that the best historians describe the Jews as eating the bleeding flesh of Romans, whom they massacred in Egypt, Cyprus, and Asia, in their revolts against the emperors Trajan and Adrian.

Birton happily agreed with the mountaineer's views. He said that the practice of boiling and roasting a neighbor must be both ancient and natural, since it existed in both hemispheres; therefore, it must be an innate idea—that men were hunted before beasts because it was easier to kill men than wolves; that if the Jews, in their books, long unknown, imagined that a certain Cain killed a certain Abel, it could only be to eat him—that the same Jews acknowledge they have often consumed human flesh; that the best historians describe the Jews as eating the bleeding flesh of Romans, whom they massacred in Egypt, Cyprus, and Asia during their revolts against the emperors Trajan and Adrian.

We allowed him to indulge in these coarse jokes, which, though unfortunately true at the bottom, had neither Grecian wit nor Roman urbanity.

We let him enjoy these crude jokes, which, while unfortunately true at their core, lacked any Greek wit or Roman sophistication.

Freind, without answering him, addressed the natives. Parouba translated, phrase by phrase. Tillotson himself never spoke with more force. The insinuating Smaldridge never displayed more touching graces. The great secret of eloquence is to convince. He proved to them, accordingly, that the execrable custom of burning captives, inspired a ferocity destructive to the human race; for this reason, they were strangers to the comforts of society and the tillage of the ground.

Freind, without responding to him, spoke to the locals. Parouba translated, sentence by sentence. Tillotson himself never spoke more powerfully. The subtly persuasive Smaldridge never showed more heartfelt charm. The key to eloquence is to persuade. He demonstrated to them that the terrible practice of burning captives fostered a brutality harmful to humanity; for this reason, they lacked the benefits of society and agriculture.

At last, they all swore by their great Manitou, that they would not burn men and women again.

At last, they all pledged by their powerful Manitou that they would not burn men and women again.

Thus, from a single conversation, Freind became their legislator, like an Orpheus taming tigers. In vain may the Jesuits describe their miracles in letters which are rarely curious or edifying; they can never equal our good friend.

Thus, from one conversation, Freind became their legislator, like an Orpheus taming wild beasts. The Jesuits might try to impress with their miracles in letters that are seldom interesting or enlightening; they can never match our good friend.

After loading the chiefs of the Blue Mountains with presents, he conducted the worthy Parouba back to his residence. Young Parouba, with his sister, accompanied us. The others went hunting in the distant forest.

After giving the chiefs of the Blue Mountains gifts, he took the honorable Parouba back to his home. Young Parouba, along with his sister, joined us. The others went hunting in the faraway forest.

John, Birton, and his companions, also embarked in the ship.

John, Birton, and his friends also got on the ship.

Freind persisted in his plan of not reproaching his son, whenever the young scamp did wrong. He left him to self-examination, and to consume his heart, as Pythagoras has it. Nevertheless, he took up the letter thrice, which had been received from England, and looked at his son as he read it. The young man would then cast his eyes on the ground; and respect and repentance might be read on his face.

Freind stuck to his plan of not scolding his son when the young rascal messed up. He let him reflect on his actions and deal with his own feelings, as Pythagoras put it. Still, he picked up the letter from England three times and glanced at his son as he read it. The young man would lower his eyes to the ground, and you could see respect and regret on his face.

Birton continued as gay and noisy as if he had just returned from the play. He was in character like the late Duke of Rochester, extreme in debauchery, bravery, sentiments, language, and, in his Epicurean philosophy, attaching himself only to the extraordinary and soon disgusted even then; having the turn of mind that mistakes probabilities for demonstrations; more wise and eloquent than any young man of his age; but too indolent to be profound in any thing.

Birton kept being cheerful and loud, as if he had just come back from a play. He was like the late Duke of Rochester, excess in pleasure, courage, emotions, speech, and his love of fine living, drawn only to the extraordinary and easily turned off; he had a mindset that confused possibilities with certainties; more knowledgeable and articulate than any young man his age, yet too lazy to delve deeply into anything.

While dining with us on board, Mr. Freind said to me:

While having dinner with us on board, Mr. Freind said to me:

"Indeed, my dear friend, I hope God will inspire these young people with purer morals, and that Clive-Hart's terrible example will be a lesson to them."

"Definitely, my dear friend, I hope God will inspire these young people with better morals, and that Clive-Hart's awful example will teach them a lesson."

Birton, hearing these words, said, in a disdainful tone:

Birton, hearing these words, said, in a dismissive tone:

"For a long time I had been dissatisfied with that wicked Clive-Hart. Indeed, I scarcely care more for her than I do for a trussed fowl. But do you believe there exists (I don't know where) a being perpetually occupied in punishing the wicked men and women who people and depopulate the four quarters of our little world? Do you forget that the terrible Mary, daughter of Henry VIII., was happy till her death? and yet she had caused the execution of eight hundred citizens, of both sexes, on the pretext that they did not believe in transubstantiation and the pope. Her father, nearly as cruel, and her husband, more profoundly wicked, spent their lives in enjoyment. Pope Alexander IV., worse than these, was still more fortunate. All his crimes succeeded. He died at the age of seventy-two, rich and powerful, courted by the kings of the age. Where, then, is this just and avenging God?"

"For a long time, I had been frustrated with that wicked Clive-Hart. Honestly, I care about her as much as I care for a roasted chicken. But do you think there’s someone out there—somewhere—who’s always busy punishing the bad men and women who populate and deplete our little world? Have you forgotten that the terrible Mary, daughter of Henry VIII, lived happily until her death? And yet she was responsible for the execution of eight hundred citizens, men and women, just because they didn’t believe in transubstantiation and the pope. Her father, almost as cruel, and her husband, even more wicked, spent their lives in pleasure. Pope Alexander IV., worse than both of them, was even luckier. All his crimes thrived. He died at seventy-two, wealthy and powerful, admired by the kings of his time. So where is this just and avenging God?"

Mr. Freind, with austerity and calmness, replied:

Mr. Freind replied with seriousness and composure:

"It seems to me, sir, you ought not to say 'there is no God.' Remember, Locke and Newton never pronounced that word but in a tone of reverence, that every one remarked."

"It seems to me, sir, you shouldn't say 'there is no God.' Remember, Locke and Newton never used that word without a sense of reverence, something everyone noticed."

"What care I" returned Birton, "for two men's grimaces? How did Newton look, when he wrote his Commentary on the Apocalypse? Or Locke, when he wrote the Dialogue between a Parrot and the Prince Maurice?"

"What do I care," Birton replied, "about the grimaces of two men? How did Newton look when he wrote his Commentary on the Apocalypse? Or Locke, when he wrote the Dialogue between a Parrot and the Prince Maurice?"

Then Freind repeated the golden words which should be graven on every heart:

Then Freind repeated the golden words that should be engraved on every heart:

"Let us forget the dreams of great men; and remember the truths they have taught us."

"Let’s forget the dreams of great people and focus on the truths they’ve taught us."

This reply gave way to a well-sustained conversation, more interesting than that of the bachelor of Salamanca. I sat in a corner and took notes. The company drew round the disputants. The worthy Parouba, his son, and daughter, John's debauched companions, and John himself, with his head resting on his hands,—all listened with eager attention.

This response led to a lively conversation, even more engaging than that of the bachelor from Salamanca. I sat in a corner and took notes. The group gathered around the debaters. The respectable Parouba, along with his son and daughter, John's wild friends, and John himself, who had his head resting on his hands—all listened with keen interest.


CHAPTER VIII.

DIALOGUE BETWEEN FRIEND AND BIRTON ON ATHEISM.

FREIND.—I will not repeat to you, sir, the metaphysical arguments of our celebrated Clarke; I only exhort you to read them again. They are rather intended to convince than affect you. I shall confine myself to arguments calculated to touch your heart.

BFF.—I won’t go over the philosophical arguments of our famous Clarke again for you, sir; I just encourage you to read them once more. They’re more about convincing you than moving you emotionally. I’ll stick to arguments meant to reach your heart.

BIRTON.—You will gratify me very much. I like to be amused and interested. I hate sophisms. Metaphysical arguments seem to me like balloons filled with air used between the disputants. The bladders burst; and nothing remains.

BIRTON.—You’ll really make me happy. I enjoy being entertained and engaged. I can’t stand tricky reasoning. To me, metaphysical arguments are like balloons filled with air tossed around by the debaters. The balloons pop, and there’s nothing left.

FREIND.—It is possible there may be some obscurity—some bladders—in the deep things of Clarke, the respectable Arian. Perhaps he was deceived on the subject of actual infinity. Perhaps, when he took upon himself to comment on God, he follows too closely a commentator of Homer, who attributes ideas to his author which he never entertained.

BFF.—There might be some confusion—some misunderstandings—in the profound ideas of Clarke, the respectable Arian. He may have been misled about the concept of actual infinity. Maybe, when he decided to comment on God, he was too influenced by a commentator on Homer, who ascribes ideas to his work that he never actually had.

At the words "infinity," "Homer," "commentators," the worthy Parouba and his daughter, and even a few of the English, seemed disposed to go and take an airing on the deck. But Freind promising to be intelligible, they consented to remain. I explained in a whisper to Parouba scientific expressions, which a native of the Blue Mountains was not likely to understand so well as a doctor of Oxford or Cambridge.

At the mention of "infinity," "Homer," and "commentators," the decent Parouba and his daughter, along with a few of the English, seemed ready to go for a walk on the deck. However, after Freind promised to be clear, they agreed to stay. I quietly explained some scientific terms to Parouba that a person from the Blue Mountains probably wouldn't understand as well as a doctor from Oxford or Cambridge.

FREIND.—It would be sad, indeed, if we could not be sure of the existence of God without being metaphysicians. In all England, scarcely a hundred minds would be found capable of fathoming the mysteries of the for and against; and the rest of the world would be enveloped in ignorance,—a prey to brutal passions,—swayed by instinct alone,—and only capable of reasoning on the vulgar notions of their carnal interests. To find out God, I only require you to make one effort,—to open your eyes.

Buddy.—It would be really sad if we couldn't be sure of God's existence without being philosophers. In all of England, there are hardly a hundred people who could understand the complexities of the arguments for and against; and the rest of the world would be stuck in ignorance—driven by basic instincts and brutal emotions—and only able to think about their selfish interests. To discover God, all I need from you is one effort—just open your eyes.

BIRTON.—I see your aim. You are returning to the worn-out arguments that the sun turns on its axis in twenty-five days and a half, in spite of the absurd inquisition of Rome;—that the light comes to us reflected from Saturn in fifteen minutes, in spite of the absurd supposition of Descartes;—that every fixed star is a sun, like ours, surrounded by planets; that the countless stars, scattered through space, obey mathematical laws, discovered and proved by the great Newton;—that a catechist announces God to children, and that Newton reveals him to the sage, as a philosophical Frenchman said, who was persecuted in his own country for asserting as much. Do not trouble yourself to bring before me the ceaseless order which prevails in all parts of the universe. All that exists must have order of some sort. Rarefied matter must take a higher place than denser substances. The strongest press upon the weakest. Bodies moved with a greater impulse, progress more rapidly than those moved with less. Things arrange themselves in this way of their own accord. In vain, after drinking a pint of wine, like Esdras, would you talk to me for a hundred and sixty hours together without shutting the mouth, I should not be convinced. Do you wish me to adopt an eternal being, infinite and immutable, who saw fit, (I do not know when,) to create from nothing, things which change every moment, and spiders to disembowel flies? Would you have me suppose, with the gossip Niewentyt, that God gave us ears that we might have faith? since faith cometh by hearing. No! No! I will not believe these quacks who have sold their drugs at a good price to fools. I keep to the little book of a Frenchman, who maintains that nothing exists nor can exist but nature; that nature does all, and is all; that it is impossible and contradictory that any thing can exist beyond ALL. In a word, I only believe in nature.

BIRTON.—I see where you're coming from. You're going back to the tired arguments that the sun rotates on its axis in twenty-five and a half days, despite the ridiculous inquisition of Rome; that light from Saturn reaches us in fifteen minutes, no matter the absurd ideas of Descartes; that every fixed star is a sun like ours, surrounded by planets; that the countless stars scattered across space follow mathematical laws discovered and proven by the great Newton; that a teacher introduces God to children, while Newton reveals Him to the wise, as a philosophical Frenchman once said, who was persecuted in his own country for making that claim. Don’t bother trying to convince me of the constant order that exists throughout the universe. Everything that exists must have some sort of order. Lighter matter must be positioned above denser substances. The strongest push on the weakest. Objects set in motion with greater force move faster than those with less. Things organize themselves this way naturally. In vain, after downing a pint of wine, like Esdras, would you talk to me for one hundred and sixty hours non-stop; I would not be convinced. Do you want me to accept an eternal being, infinite and unchanging, who decided, (I don't know when), to create from nothing things that change every moment and spiders that eat flies? Would you have me think, like the gossip Niewentyt, that God gave us ears so we could have faith? since faith comes from hearing. No! No! I won't believe those charlatans who have sold their nonsense at a high price to gullible people. I stick to the small book of a Frenchman, who argues that nothing exists or can exist except nature; that nature does everything and is all; that it’s impossible and contradictory for anything to exist beyond EVERYTHING. In short, I only believe in nature.

FREIND.—What if I tell you there is no such thing as nature; and that in us, around us, a thousand millions of leagues from us, all is art, without any exception.

BFF.—What if I told you that there’s no such thing as nature; and that in us, around us, and thousands of millions of leagues away from us, everything is art, without exception.

BIRTON.—What? All art! That's something new.

BIRTON.—What? All art? That's a new concept.

FREIND.—Few observe that. Nothing, however, is more true. I shall always say, make use of your eyes, and you will recognize and adore God. Think how those vast globes, which you see revolve in their immense orbits, observe deep mathematical laws. There is then a great calculator whom Plato called the eternal geometrician. You admire those newly invented machines, called orreries, because Lord Orrery invented them by imitating the maker. It is a feeble copy of our planetary system and its revolutions; also the periods of the changes of the solstice and equinox which bring us from day to day a new polar planet. This period, this slow course of about twenty-six thousand years, could not be effected in our feeble hands by human orreries. The machine is very imperfect; it must be turned by a handle; yet it is a chef-d'œuvre of the skill of our artisans. Conceive, then, the power and patience, the genius, of the eternal architect, if we may apply such terms to the supreme being.

BFF.—Few people notice that. Nothing is more true, though. I’ll always say, use your eyes, and you will see and admire God. Think about those enormous spheres you see moving in their vast orbits, following deep mathematical laws. There is, then, a great calculator whom Plato referred to as the eternal geometrician. You admire those newly invented machines called orreries because Lord Orrery created them by mimicking the designer. It’s a weak imitation of our solar system and its movements, including the cycles of the solstice and equinox that bring us a new polar planet each day. This cycle, this slow process of about twenty-six thousand years, couldn’t be achieved in our weak hands with human orreries. The machine is quite imperfect; it has to be turned by a handle; yet it is a masterpiece of our craftsmen’s skill. So, imagine the power and patience, the genius of the eternal architect, if we can use such terms to describe the supreme being.

When I described an orrery to Parouba, he said:

When I described an orrery to Parouba, he said:

"If the copy indicates genius, how much more must there be in the original?"

"If the copy shows genius, how much more must be in the original?"

All present, English and American, felt the force of these words, and raised their hands to heaven.

All present, both English and American, were moved by these words and raised their hands to the sky.

Birton remained thoughtful. Then he cried:

Birton stayed deep in thought. Then he shouted:

"What, all art? Nature the result of art? Can it be possible?"

"What, all art? Nature is the result of art? Is that really possible?"

FREIND.—Now, consider yourself; examine with what art, never sufficiently explored, all is constructed within and without for all your wishes and actions. I do not pretend now to lecture on anatomy. You know well enough there is not one superfluous vessel, nor one that does not, in the exercise of its functions, depend on neighboring vessels. So artificial is the arrangement throughout the body, that there is not a single vein without valves and sluices, making a passage for the blood. From the roots of the hair to the toes, all is art, design, cause, and effect. Indeed, we cannot suppress feelings of indignation toward those who presume to deny final causes, and have the rashness to say that the mouth was not made to eat and speak with—that the eyes are not admirably contrived for seeing, the ears for hearing, the nerves for feeling. Such audacity is madness. I cannot conceive it.

Friend.—Now, think about yourself; take a moment to examine the incredible way everything is arranged both inside and outside you to fulfill your desires and actions. I’m not trying to give a lecture on anatomy here. You already know that there’s not a single unnecessary blood vessel, nor one that doesn’t rely on nearby vessels to function properly. The way everything is organized in the body is so precise that not a single vein lacks valves and openings to allow blood to flow. From the roots of your hair to your toes, everything is crafted, designed, and interconnected. Honestly, we can’t help but feel a sense of outrage towards those who dare to deny the purpose behind these features, who have the audacity to claim that the mouth wasn’t made for eating and speaking—that the eyes aren’t perfectly shaped for seeing, the ears for hearing, the nerves for feeling. Such boldness is pure madness. I just can’t understand it.

Let us admit that every animal renders testimony to the supreme fabricator.

Let's acknowledge that every animal shows evidence of the ultimate creator.

The smallest herb perplexes human intellect. So true is this that the aggregate toil of all men could not create a straw unless the seed be sown in the earth. Let it not be said that the seed must rot in the earth to produce. Such nonsense should not be listened to now.

The tiniest herb puzzles human thinking. This is so true that all the hard work of everyone can't create a single straw unless the seed is planted in the ground. Don't say that the seed has to decay in the ground to yield growth. That kind of nonsense shouldn't be taken seriously anymore.


The company felt the force of these proofs more forcibly than the others, because they were more palpable. Birton murmured: "Must I then acknowledge God? We shall see. It is not yet proved."

The company felt the impact of these proofs more strongly than the others, because they were more obvious. Birton murmured, "Do I really have to acknowledge God? We'll see. It's not proven yet."

John remained thoughtful, and seemed affected.

John looked deep in thought and seemed to be impacted by something.


FREIND.—No, my friends. We make nothing, we can do nothing. It is in our power to arrange, unite, calculate, weigh, measure, but, to make! What a word! The essential Being, existing by Himself, alone can make. This is why quacks, who labor at the philosopher's stone, prove themselves such fools. They boast that they create gold, and they cannot even create clay. Let us then confess, my friends, that there is a necessary and incomprehensible Being who made us.

PAL.—No, my friends. We don’t create anything; we can’t do anything. We can organize, unite, calculate, weigh, and measure, but to create! What a word! Only the essential Being, existing on its own, can create. That’s why those charlatans, who work on the philosopher’s stone, show themselves to be fools. They claim they can make gold, and yet they can’t even make clay. So let’s admit, my friends, that there is a necessary and incomprehensible Being who created us.

BIRTON.—If he exist, where is he? Why is he concealed? Has any one ever seen him? Should the creator of good hide himself?

BIRTON.—If he exists, where is he? Why is he hiding? Has anyone ever seen him? Should the creator of good keep himself in the shadows?

FREIND.—Did you ever see Sir Christopher Wren, the architect of Saint Paul's, when you were in London? Yet it is clear that church is the work of a great architect.

PAL.—Did you ever see Sir Christopher Wren, the architect of Saint Paul's, when you were in London? It's obvious that church is the work of a great architect.

BIRTON.—Every one knows that Wren erected, at a great expense, the vast edifice in which Burgess, when he preaches, sends us to sleep. We know very well why and how our fathers built it. But why and how did God make the universe from nothing? You know well the ancient maxim: "Nothing can create nothing; nothing returns to nothing." No one ever doubted that truth. Your Bible itself says that your God made heaven and earth, though the heaven, that is, the assemblage of stars, is as superior to the earth, as the earth itself is to one blade of grass. But your Bible does not tell us that God made heaven and earth from nothing. It does not pretend that the Lord made woman from nothing. She was kneaded in a very singular way, from a rib taken from her husband's side. According to the Bible, chaos existed before the world; therefore matter must be as eternal as your God.

BIRTON.—Everyone knows that Wren built, at a huge cost, the massive structure where Burgess puts us to sleep when he preaches. We understand very well why and how our ancestors constructed it. But why and how did God create the universe from nothing? You've heard the old saying: "Nothing can create nothing; nothing returns to nothing." No one has ever questioned that truth. Your Bible itself states that your God created heaven and earth, although heaven, meaning the collection of stars, is as far superior to the earth as the earth is to a single blade of grass. But your Bible doesn't say that God made heaven and earth from nothing. It doesn’t claim that the Lord made woman from nothing either. She was formed in a very unique way, from a rib taken from her husband’s side. According to the Bible, chaos existed before the world; therefore, matter must be as eternal as your God.


A slight murmur then went round the company; "Birton might be right," they said.

A slight murmur went around the group; "Birton might be right," they said.


FREIND.—I think I have proved to you that there is a supreme intelligence; an eternal power to whom we owe our passing existence. I have not engaged to tell you the how and the why. God has given me sufficient reason to know that he exists, but not enough to discover whether matter has been subject to him from eternity, or whether he created it in time. What have you to do with the creation of matter, provided you acknowledge a God the ruler of matter and of yourself? You ask me where God is? I do not know. I ought not to know. I know that he is; I know that he is my maker; that he makes all, and that we ought to depend on his goodness.

BFF.—I believe I’ve shown you that there is a higher intelligence; an eternal force to whom we owe our temporary existence. I’m not here to explain the how and the why. God has given me enough reason to believe in his existence, but not enough to figure out whether matter has always existed under his control or if he created it in time. What does it matter to you how matter came to be, as long as you accept that there is a God who rules over matter and over you? You ask me where God is? I don't know. I shouldn't need to know. I know that he exists; I know he is my creator; that he created everything, and that we should rely on his goodness.

BIRTON.—His goodness! Are you jesting with me? Did you not tell me to make use of my eyes? Make use of yours. Glance at the world, and then talk of the goodness of God.

BIRTON.—Goodness! Are you joking with me? Didn’t you tell me to use my eyes? Use yours. Take a look at the world, and then talk about God's goodness.


Mr. Freind saw that he had now reached the most difficult part of the dispute, and that Birton was preparing a rude assault. He saw that the hearers, especially the Americans, together with himself, required a little respite. Recommending himself therefore to God, they went on deck for exercise. When tea was served, the disputation was renewed.

Mr. Freind realized he had now hit the toughest part of the argument, and that Birton was gearing up for a harsh attack. He noticed that the listeners, especially the Americans, along with himself, needed a brief break. So, he suggested they take a moment to themselves and went on deck to get some exercise. When tea was served, the debate picked up again.


CHAPTER IX.

ON ATHEISM.

BIRTON.—You must not expect such success, sir, on the subject of goodness, as you have had on ingenuity and power. First, I shall touch on the misconstructions of our globe, in many instances opposed to the cleverness so much boasted of; then I intend to dwell on the perpetual crimes and misfortunes of the inhabitants; and you will judge of the great ruler's paternal affection for them.

BIRTON.—You shouldn't expect the same level of success, sir, when it comes to goodness, as you've had with ingenuity and power. First, I'll address the misunderstandings of our world, which often contradict the cleverness that's so proudly claimed; then I'll focus on the ongoing crimes and misfortunes of its people, and you can evaluate the great ruler's caring nature toward them.

I shall begin by telling you that in Gloucestershire, my county, when we breed horses, we rear them with care, in fine pasturage and good stables, with hay and oats. Pray, what shelter and food had these poor Americans, when we discovered their continent? They were obliged to scour over thirty or forty miles for food. All the northern coast of the old world is exposed to the same cruel necessity; and from Swedish Laponia to the Sea of Japan, a hundred tribes spend a life as short as it is wretched, in the most complete want, amidst eternal snows.

I’ll start by saying that in Gloucestershire, my county, when we raise horses, we take good care of them, providing nice pastures and decent stables, along with hay and oats. Now, what kind of shelter and food did those unfortunate Americans have when we first discovered their continent? They had to travel thirty or forty miles to find food. The entire northern coast of the old world faces the same harsh reality; from Swedish Lapland to the Sea of Japan, a hundred tribes live short, miserable lives in complete poverty, surrounded by permanent snow.

Fine climates are continually exposed to destructive scourges. There we walk over burning precipices, covered by fertile plains, which prove but deadly snares. There is no hell but this, doubtless; and it opens a hundred times beneath our feet.

Fine climates are constantly exposed to harmful threats. There we walk over blazing cliffs, covered by lush plains, which turn out to be deadly traps. There’s no hell but this, for sure; it opens a hundred times beneath our feet.

They tell us of an universal deluge, an event physically impossible, and at which all sensible people laugh. But they console us by saying it only lasted ten months. I wonder it did not put out the fires which have since destroyed so many flourishing towns. Your St. Augustin tells us of a hundred cities burnt or swallowed up in Lydia, by an earthquake. Volcanoes have several times devastated lovely Italy. As a crowning misfortune, the inhabitants of the Arctic Circle are not exempt from these subterranean fires. The Icelander, always in alarm, has hunger staring him in the face, and a hundred feet of flame or ice to the right or left, under their Mount Hecla; for the great volcanoes are always found among terrible mountains.

They talk about a worldwide flood, an event that's physically impossible, and sensible people just laugh at it. But they comfort us by saying it only lasted ten months. I wonder why it didn't put out the fires that have since destroyed so many thriving towns. Your St. Augustine tells us about a hundred cities that were burned or swallowed up in Lydia by an earthquake. Volcanoes have repeatedly devastated beautiful Italy. To top it all off, the people living in the Arctic Circle are not safe from these underground fires. The Icelander, always on edge, faces hunger and has a hundred feet of flame or ice to the right or left under Mount Hecla; after all, the largest volcanoes are usually found among terrible mountains.

It is in vain to say that mountains of two thousand toises in elevation are nothing on a globe nine thousand miles in diameter, or like the irregularities of an orange compared with the bulk of that fruit—that it is scarcely one foot to every three thousand feet. Alas! What then are we, if high mountains are but as figures one foot high for every three thousand feet, or four inches for every nine thousand inches? We are then animals absolutely imperceptible; yet we are liable to be crushed by all that surrounds us, though our infinite littleness, so closely bordering on nothing, might seem to secure us from all accidents. Besides the countless cities, destroyed and re-destroyed like as many ant-hills, what shall we say to the seas of sand that cross the centre of Africa, and whose burning waves, raised by the wind, have buried entire armies? What is the use of the vast deserts on the borders of Syria,—deserts so horrible that the ferocious animals, called Jews, imagined they had reached Paradise when they passed from these scenes of horror into a little corner of land where they could cultivate a few acres? It is not enough that man (the noble creature) should be so ill lodged, clothed, and fed, for so many ages. He comes into the world to live for a few days, perplexed by deceitful hopes and real vexations. His body, contrived with useless art, is a prey to all the ills resulting from that very art. He lives between the dangers of poison and plague. No one can remember the list of ills we are subject to; and the modest doctors of Switzerland pretend they can cure them all.

It’s pointless to say that mountains two thousand-toise high are nothing compared to a globe nine thousand miles in diameter, like how the bumps on an orange seem insignificant next to the size of the fruit— it’s hardly one foot for every three thousand feet. What then are we, if high mountains are just like figures one foot tall for every three thousand feet, or four inches for every nine thousand inches? We are then creatures that are completely imperceptible; yet we can be crushed by everything around us, even though our tiny size, so close to nothing, might seem to protect us from all mishaps. Beyond the countless cities that have been destroyed and rebuilt like so many ant hills, what can we say about the seas of sand that stretch across the center of Africa, whose scorching waves, whipped up by the wind, have buried entire armies? What’s the point of the vast deserts on the borders of Syria—deserts so terrible that the fierce animals, known as Jews, thought they had reached Paradise when they moved from these gruesome landscapes to a small patch of land where they could farm a few acres? It’s not enough that man (the noble creature) has been so poorly housed, clothed, and fed for so many ages. He comes into the world to live for just a few days, confused by false hopes and real troubles. His body, designed with pointless complexity, is vulnerable to all the suffering that comes from that very complexity. He lives between the threats of poison and disease. No one can remember the endless list of ailments we face; and the humble doctors of Switzerland claim they can cure them all.


While Birton said this, the company listened with attention and even emotion. Parouba said "Let us see how the doctor will get over this."

While Birton said this, everyone listened closely and even felt emotional. Parouba said, "Let's see how the doctor will handle this."

Even John said in a low tone: "On my word, he is right. I was a fool to be so soon touched by my father's conversation."

Even John said in a quiet tone: "I swear, he’s right. I was an idiot to let my father's words get to me so quickly."

Mr. Freind waited till their imaginations were a little recovered from the assault, and then resumed the discussion.

Mr. Freind waited until their imaginations had a chance to recover from the shock, and then he continued the discussion.


FREIND.—A young theologian would answer these sad truths by sophisms, backed with quotations from St. Basil and St. Cyril. For my part, I shall admit that there are many physical evils in the world. I will not even lessen the number, though Mr. Birton has seen fit to exaggerate. I ask you, my dear Parouba, is not your climate made for you? It cannot be injurious, since neither you nor your companions wish to leave it. Esquimaux, Icelanders, Laplanders, Asiatics, and Indians, never think of leaving theirs. The reindeer, which God has sent to clothe and feed them, die when transported to another zone. Laplanders themselves die in southern climates. The south of Siberia is too warm for them; here they would be burnt. It is evident that God made every kind of animal and vegetable for the clime in which it thrives. Negroes, a race of men so different to ours, are so thoroughly formed for their country, that thousands of them have preferred death to slavery elsewhere. The camel and ostrich are quite at home in the sands of Africa. The bull abounds in fertile countries, where the grass is ever fresh for his nourishment. Cinnamon and spice only grow in India. Barley is only useful in those countries where God has appointed it to grow. From one end of America to the other, you have different kinds of food. The vine cannot be brought to perfection in England, nor in Sweden and Canada. This is the reason that in some countries the elements of religious rites consist in bread and wine; and they do well to thank God for the food and beverage his goodness has provided; and Americans would do well to thank him for their Indian corn and arrow-root. Throughout the world God has suited all animals, from the snail to man, to the countries in which he has placed them. Let us not reproach Providence when we owe him praises.

BFF.—A young theologian might respond to these sad truths with clever arguments, supported by quotes from St. Basil and St. Cyril. As for me, I acknowledge that there are many physical hardships in the world. I won’t even downplay the number, despite Mr. Birton’s tendency to exaggerate. I ask you, my dear Parouba, isn’t your climate perfect for you? It can’t be harmful since neither you nor your companions want to leave it. Eskimos, Icelanders, Laplanders, Asians, and Indians never think about leaving theirs. The reindeer that God has provided to clothe and feed them perish when moved to a different region. Laplanders themselves don’t survive in warmer climates; even the south of Siberia is too hot for them; they would suffer here. It’s clear that God created every type of animal and plant for the environment in which it thrives. Black people, so different from us, are so perfectly suited to their land that thousands would rather die than be enslaved elsewhere. The camel and ostrich thrive in the deserts of Africa. The bull flourishes in fertile areas where the grass is always fresh for him to eat. Cinnamon and spices only grow in India. Barley is only beneficial in those regions designated by God for its growth. From one end of America to the other, you find different types of food. The vine cannot thrive in England, Sweden, or Canada. This is why in some places, elements of religious rituals consist of bread and wine; they rightly thank God for the food and drink his kindness has provided; and Americans should also thank him for their corn and arrowroot. Throughout the world, God has adapted all animals, from snails to humans, to the lands where they live. Let’s not blame Providence when we should be giving thanks.

But to consider scourges, such as inundations, volcanoes, earthquakes. If you confine your attention to the accidents which sometimes happen to the wheels of the eternal machine, you may well consider God as a tyrant; but observe his ceaseless benefits, and he becomes a compassionate father. You have quoted Augustin and his account of the destruction of a hundred cities; but remember the African rhetorician often contradicts himself and was prodigal of exaggerations in his writings. He wrote of earthquakes as he did of the efficacy of grace, and the damnation of children dying without baptism. Has he not said in his thirty-seventh sermon, that he had seen people at Ethiopia with one eye in the middle of the forehead like the Cyclops, and a whole race without heads?

But when thinking about disasters like floods, volcanoes, or earthquakes, if you only focus on the occasional mishaps in the workings of the universe, you might see God as a tyrant. However, if you look at His constant blessings, He appears as a caring father. You’ve mentioned Augustine and his account of the destruction of a hundred cities, but don’t forget that the African rhetorician often contradicts himself and was prone to exaggeration in his writings. He wrote about earthquakes in the same way he discussed the power of grace and the damnation of children who die without baptism. Didn’t he say in his thirty-seventh sermon that he had seen people in Ethiopia with one eye in the middle of their forehead, like Cyclops, and an entire race without heads?

We, who are not fathers of the church, ought not to go beyond nor to stop short of truth; and the truth is, that of the houses destroyed, we cannot reckon that more than one out of every hundred thousand, is destroyed by the fires necessary to the due performance of the operations of the world.

We, who are not church leaders, should neither overstate nor underestimate the truth; and the truth is that out of the homes destroyed, we can’t say that more than one in every hundred thousand is lost to the fires that are necessary for the proper functioning of the world.

So essential to the nature of the universe is fire, that but for it there would be no sun nor stars, no animals, vegetables, or minerals. The fire, placed under the earth, is subject to fixed natural laws. Some disasters may nevertheless occur. You cannot say a man is a poor artisan when an immense machine, formed by him, lasts unimpaired for years. If a man invented a hydraulic engine to water a province, would you disparage his work because it destroys some insects?

Fire is such a fundamental part of the universe that without it, there wouldn't be a sun or stars, or any animals, plants, or minerals. The fire beneath the earth follows certain natural laws. However, disasters can still happen. You can't label someone as a bad craftsman when a massive machine they created remains intact for years. If someone invented a hydraulic engine to irrigate a region, would you criticize their work just because it kills some insects?

I have shown you that the machine of the world is the work of an intelligent and powerful being; you, who are intelligent, ought to admire him,—you, who are laden with his gifts, ought to adore him.

I have demonstrated that the machinery of the world is the creation of an intelligent and powerful being; you, who are intelligent, should admire him — you, who benefit from his gifts, should worship him.

But how, you inquire, can the wretches who are condemned to languish under incurable evils—how can they admire and love? I must tell you, that such ills are generally brought on ourselves, or come to us from our fathers, who abused their bodies, and not from the great fabricator. No disease but decrepitude was known in America till we introduced strong liquors, the source of all evils.

But how, you ask, can those who are stuck suffering from unfixable problems—how can they admire and love? I have to tell you that these issues usually come from our own actions or from our parents, who mistreated their bodies, and not from the great creator. No illness except for aging was known in America until we brought in strong alcohol, which is the root of all problems.

Let us remember that in Milton's Poem, the simple Adam is made to inquire if he will live long. Yes, is the reply, if you take nothing to excess. Observe this rule, my friends. Can you require that God should let you live for ages, as the reward of your gluttony, your drunkenness, your incontinence, and your indulgence in infamous passions, which corrupt the blood and necessarily shorten life?

Let’s keep in mind that in Milton’s poem, the straightforward Adam asks if he will live for a long time. The answer is yes, as long as you don’t overdo anything. Follow this guideline, my friends. Can you really expect God to grant you a long life as a reward for your gluttony, drunkenness, lack of self-control, and indulging in disgraceful desires that taint your body and inevitably shorten your life?


I approved of this reply. Parouba liked it; but Birton was not moved. I read in John's eyes that he was still doubtful. Birton rejoined in these terms:

I liked this response. Parouba was on board with it, but Birton didn’t seem affected. I could see in John's eyes that he was still unsure. Birton responded with these words:

BIRTON.—Since you have made use of common arguments, with a few novel remarks, I may be allowed to follow your plan. If so good and powerful a God existed, surely he would not have suffered evil to enter the world, nor have devoted his creatures to grief and crime. If he cannot prevent evil, he is not almighty; if he will not, he is cruel.

BIRTOWN.—Since you’ve used familiar arguments, along with some new points, I think it’s fair for me to follow your approach. If such a good and powerful God really existed, surely he wouldn’t have allowed evil to enter the world, nor would he have sent his creatures into a life of suffering and wrongdoing. If he can’t stop evil, then he’s not all-powerful; if he won’t stop it, then he’s cruel.

The annals of the Brahmins only extend back 8,000 years; those of the Chinese only 5,000. Our knowledge is but of yesterday; but, in that brief space, all is horror. Murder has been the practice from one end of the earth to the other; and men have been weak enough to give to those men who slew the greatest number of their fellow creatures, the titles of heroes, demi-gods, and even gods.

The records of the Brahmins go back only 8,000 years, and the Chinese have documented their history for just 5,000 years. Our understanding is recent; yet, in that short time, it’s filled with horror. Murder has been common all around the world, and people have been foolish enough to honor those who killed the most of their fellow humans with titles like heroes, demi-gods, and even gods.

In America there were left two great nations, beginning to enjoy the sweets of peace and civilization, when the Spaniards came there to slay eleven millions. They hunted men down with dogs; and King Ferdinand of Castile gave those dogs pensions for their services.

In America, there were two great nations that were starting to enjoy the benefits of peace and civilization when the Spaniards arrived to kill eleven million people. They hunted people down with dogs, and King Ferdinand of Castile even gave those dogs pensions for their services.

The heroes who subdued the New World, massacred innocent and helpless babes, murdered peaceable and defenceless Indians, and committed the most inhuman barbarities! They roasted King Guatimozin, in Mexico, on a gridiron. They hastened to Peru to convert the Inca, Atahualpa. A priest, named Almagro, son of a priest condemned to be hanged in Spain for highway robbery, went there with one Pizarro, to inform the Emperor of the Peruvians, by the voice of another priest, that a third priest, named Alexander IV., polluted by incest, assassination, and homicide, had given, with his full consent (proprio motu) and with full power, not only Peru, but one half of the New World, to the King of Spain; and that Atahualpa ought instantly to submit, under pain of suffering the indignation of the apostles Peter and Paul. But as this king knew as little of Latin as the priest who read the papal bull, he was instantly declared heretical and incredulous.

The heroes who conquered the New World killed innocent and defenseless babies, murdered peaceful and unarmed Native Americans, and committed horrific acts of cruelty! They roasted King Guatimozin in Mexico on a grill. They rushed to Peru to convert the Inca, Atahualpa. A priest named Almagro, whose father had been sentenced to hang in Spain for robbery, went there with a man named Pizarro to tell the Emperor of the Peruvians, through another priest, that a third priest, named Alexander IV., guilty of incest, murder, and violence, had given, with his full consent and authority, not just Peru, but half of the New World, to the King of Spain; and that Atahualpa should immediately submit, or face the wrath of the apostles Peter and Paul. But since this king knew as little Latin as the priest who read the papal decree, he was quickly labeled heretical and unbelieving.

They burned Atahualpa, as they had burned Guatimozin. They slew his people; and all to gain that hard and yellow earth which has only served to depopulate and impoverish Spain; for it has made her neglect the cultivation of the earth, which really nourishes man.

They burned Atahualpa, just like they burned Guatimozin. They killed his people, all to seize that hard and yellow gold, which has only led to depopulating and impoverishing Spain; because it's made her ignore the farming of the land that actually feeds people.

Now, my dear Mr. Freind, if the fantastic and ridiculous being men call the devil, had wished to make men in his image, would he have made them otherwise? Do not, then, attribute such an abominable work to God.

Now, my dear Mr. Friend, if the crazy and absurd creature people refer to as the devil had wanted to create humans in his likeness, would he have made them any different? So, don’t blame such a horrible act on God.


This speech brought the party round again to Birton's views. I saw John rejoice in himself; even young Parouba heard with horror of the priest Almagro—of the priest who read the Latin bull—of the priest Alexander IV.—-of all Christians who committed, under pretence of devotion, such crimes to obtain gold. I confess, I trembled for Freind. I despaired of his cause. He replied, however, without embarrassment.

This speech brought the group back to Birton's opinions. I saw John feeling proud of himself; even young Parouba was horrified by the priest Almagro—the priest who read the Latin bull—the priest Alexander IV.—and by all Christians who committed such crimes in the name of devotion just to get gold. I admit, I was worried about Freind. I lost hope for his cause. However, he responded without any hesitation.

FREIND.—Remember, my friends, there is a God. This I proved to you, you agreed to it, and after being driven to admit that he exists, you strive to find out his imperfections, vices, and wickedness.

FRIEND.Remember, friends, there is a God. I’ve shown you this, you acknowledged it, and after being forced to accept his existence, you try to uncover his flaws, faults, and evil.

I am far from asserting, with some reasoners, that private ills form the general good. This is too ridiculous a sentiment. I admit, with grief, that the world contains much moral and physical evil: but, since it is certain that God exists, it is also certain that all these evils cannot prevent God's existence. He cannot be cruel. What interest could make him so? There are horrible evils in the world, my friends. Let us not swell their number. It is impossible that God can be other than good; but men are perverse, and make a detestable use of the liberty that God has given and ought to have given,—that is, the power of exercising their wills, without which they would be simple machines, formed by a wicked being, to be broken at his caprice.

I’m not going to claim, like some thinkers do, that private misfortunes contribute to the overall good. That’s just absurd. I admit, with sadness, that the world is full of moral and physical evil: but since it's clear that God exists, it also means that all these evils can’t negate God’s existence. He can’t be cruel. What could motivate Him to be? There are terrible evils in the world, my friends. Let’s not add to their number. It’s impossible for God to be anything but good; but humans are flawed and misuse the freedom that God has given them, which is the ability to exercise their will—without which they would just be mindless machines, created by a wicked being to be used and discarded at will.

All enlightened Spaniards agree that a small number of their ancestors abused this liberty so far as to commit crimes that make human nature shudder. The second Don Carlos did what he could to repair the atrocities committed by the Spaniards under Ferdinand and Charles V.

All educated Spaniards agree that a few of their ancestors took this freedom too far and committed crimes that make people cringe. The second Don Carlos did what he could to make up for the atrocities carried out by the Spaniards under Ferdinand and Charles V.

If there be crime in the world, my friends, there is virtue as well.

If there's crime in the world, my friends, there's virtue too.

BIRTON.—Ah! ha! virtue! A good joke! I should like to see this virtue. Where is she to be found?

BIRTON.—Ah! ha! virtue! That's a good joke! I'd love to see this virtue. Where can she be found?

At these words I could not contain myself.

At these words, I couldn't hold back.

"You may find her," said I, "in the worthy Mr. Freind, in Parouba, even in yourself when your heart is cleansed of its vices."

"You might find her," I said, "in the respectable Mr. Freind, in Parouba, and even in yourself when your heart is free of its faults."

He blushed; and John also. The latter looked down and seemed to feel remorse. His father surveyed him with compassion and resumed.

He blushed, and so did John. John looked down and appeared to feel guilty. His father looked at him with compassion and continued.

FREIND.—Yes, dear friends. If there have always been crimes; there have always been virtues too. Athens had such men as Socrates, as well as such as Anitus. Rome had Catos, as well as Syllas. Nero frightened the world by his atrocities, but Titus, Trajan, and the Antonines, consoled it by their benevolence, My friend will explain to Parouba who these great men were. Fortunately, I have Epictetus in my pocket. Epictetus was a slave, but the equal of Marcus Aurelius in mind. Listen; and may all who pretend to teach men hear what Epictetus says to himself,—"God made me; I feel this; and shall I dare to dishonor him by infamous thoughts, criminal actions, and base desires?" His mind agreed with his conversation. Marcus Aurelius, on the throne of Europe and two parts of our hemisphere, did not think otherwise than the slave Epictetus. The one was never humiliated by meanness, nor the other dazzled by greatness; and when they wrote their thoughts it was for the use of their disciples, and not to be extolled in the papers. Pray, in your opinion, were not Locke, Newton, Tillotson, Penn, Clarke, the good man called "The Man of Ross," and many others, in and beyond your island, models of virtue?

FRIEND.Yes, dear friends. While crimes have always existed, so have virtues. Athens had great thinkers like Socrates, just as it had figures like Anitus. Rome had Cato as well as Sulla. Nero terrified the world with his evil deeds, but Titus, Trajan, and the Antonines brought comfort through their kindness. My friend will explain to Parouba who these great individuals were. Luckily, I have Epictetus with me. Epictetus was a slave, yet his mind matched that of Marcus Aurelius. Listen, and may all who claim to teach others pay attention to what Epictetus tells himself: "God made me; I realize this; and should I dare to dishonor Him with shameful thoughts, wrongful actions, and ignoble desires?" His thoughts aligned with his words. Marcus Aurelius, ruling over Europe and two-thirds of our hemisphere, thought the same as the slave Epictetus. One was never degraded by meanness, nor was the other blinded by power; when they wrote their ideas, it was for the benefit of their students, not for seeking praise in the media. Tell me, don't you think that Locke, Newton, Tillotson, Penn, Clarke, the good man known as "The Man of Ross," and many others, both on your island and beyond, were models of virtue?

You have alluded to the cruel and unjust wars of which so many nations have been guilty. You have described the abominations of Christians in Mexico and Peru; you might add the St. Bartholomew of France and the Irish massacre. But are there not people who have always held in abhorrence the shedding of blood? Have not the Brahmins in all ages given this example to the world? and, even in this country, have we not near us, in Pennsylvania, our Philadelphians, whom they attempt in vain to ridicule by the name of Quakers, and who have always hated war?

You’ve brought up the cruel and unjust wars that so many nations have committed. You’ve talked about the atrocities committed by Christians in Mexico and Peru; you could also mention the St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre in France and the massacre in Ireland. But aren’t there people who have always despised the spilling of blood? Haven’t the Brahmins set this example for the world throughout the ages? And even in this country, aren’t there people close by, in Pennsylvania, our Philadelphians, who are mockingly called Quakers, and who have always been opposed to war?

Have we not the Carolinas, where the great Locke dictated laws? In these two lands of virtue, all citizens are equal; all consciences are free; all religions good; provided they worship God. There all men are brethren. You have seen, Mr. Birton, the inhabitants of the Blue Mountains lay down their arms before a descendant of Penn. They felt the force of virtue. You persist in disavowing it. Because the earth produces poisons as well as wholesome plants, will you prefer the poisons?

Have we not the Carolinas, where the great Locke set down laws? In these two lands of virtue, all citizens are equal; all beliefs are free; all religions are good, as long as they worship God. There, all people are brothers. You have seen, Mr. Birton, the people of the Blue Mountains lay down their weapons before a descendant of Penn. They recognized the power of virtue. You continue to reject it. Just because the earth produces poisons as well as healthy plants, will you choose the poisons?

BIRTON.—Oh, sir, your poisons are not to the point. If God made them, they are his work. He is master, and does all. His hand directs Cromwell's, when he signs the death warrant of Charles I. His arm conducts the headsman's, who severs his head from the body. No, I cannot admit that God is a homicide.

BIRTON.—Oh, sir, your arguments about poisons are off base. If God created them, then they're his creation. He is in charge and does everything. His hand guides Cromwell when he signs the death warrant for Charles I. His power controls the executioner who beheads him. No, I can't accept that God is a murderer.

FREIND.—Nor I. Pray, hear me. You will admit that God governs by general laws. According to these laws, Cromwell, a monster of fanaticism and envy, determines to sacrifice Charles I. to his own interest, which, no doubt, all men seek to promote, though they do not understand it alike. According to the laws of motion established by God, the executioner cuts off his head. But assuredly it is not God who commits the assassination by a particular act of his will. God was not Cromwell, nor Ravaillac, nor Balthazar Gerard, nor the preaching friar, James Clement. God does not permit, nor command, nor authorize crime. But he has made man; he has established laws of motion; and these eternal laws are equally executed by the good man who stretches out his hand to the poor, and by the hand of a villain who assassinates his brother. In the same way that God did not extinguish the sun, or swallow up Spain, to punish Cortez, Almagro, and Pizarro, so, also, he does not send a company of angels to London, nor make a hundred thousand pipes of Burgundy to descend from heaven to delight the hearts of his dear Englishmen, when they do good. His general providence would become ridiculous, if thus made manifest to every individual; and this is so striking, that God never punishes a criminal immediately, by a decided stroke of his power. He lets the sun shine on the evil and the good. If some wretches expire in their crimes, it is by the general laws that govern the world. I have read in a great book, by a Frenchman called Mézeray, that God caused our Henry V. to suffer a painful death, because he dared to sit on the throne of a Christian king.

BFF.—Neither do I. Please, listen to me. You’ll agree that God rules through universal laws. According to these laws, Cromwell, a creature of fanaticism and jealousy, decides to sacrifice Charles I for his own gain, which, of course, everyone seeks to fulfill, even if they don’t understand it in the same way. Based on the laws of motion established by God, the executioner beheads him. But it’s definitely not God who commits the murder through a direct act of His will. God was not Cromwell, nor Ravaillac, nor Balthazar Gerard, nor the preaching monk, James Clement. God does not allow, command, or endorse wrongdoing. Yet, He created mankind; He established laws of motion; and these eternal laws operate through both the good person who helps the poor and the villain who murders his brother. Just as God didn’t extinguish the sun or swallow up Spain to punish Cortez, Almagro, and Pizarro, He also doesn’t send a group of angels to London or make a hundred thousand casks of Burgundy descend from heaven to reward the good deeds of His beloved Englishmen. His overarching providence would seem absurd if it were made apparent to every individual; and it’s so clear that God never punishes a criminal immediately with a decisive display of His power. He allows the sun to shine on both the wicked and the righteous. If some scoundrels die amidst their crimes, it’s due to the universal laws that govern the world. I once read in a significant book by a Frenchman named Mézeray that God caused our Henry V to endure a painful death because he dared to sit on the throne of a Christian king.

The physical part of a bad action is the effect of the primary laws given to matter by the hand of God. All moral evil is the effect of the liberty which man abuses.

The physical aspect of a bad action is the result of the fundamental laws assigned to matter by the hand of God. All moral wrongdoing stems from the freedom that humans misuse.

In a word, without plunging into the fogs of metaphysics, let us remember that the existence of God is proved. We have no longer to argue on that point. Take God from the world, and does the assassination of Charles I. become more lawful? Do you feel less aversion toward his executioner? God exists. Enough. If he exists, he is just. Be, then, just also.

In short, without getting lost in complicated philosophy, let's acknowledge that the existence of God is established. We don't need to debate that anymore. If you remove God from the equation, does that make the assassination of Charles I any more acceptable? Do you dislike his executioner any less? God exists. That's it. If He exists, He is just. So, be just as well.

BIRTON.—Your argument has strength and force, though it does not altogether exonerate God from being the author of physical and moral evil. I see your way of justifying him makes an impression on the assembly; but might it not be contrived that these laws should not involve such particular misfortunes? You have proved to me a powerful and eternal God, and I was almost on the point of believing. But I have some terrible objections to make. Come, John, courage; let us not be cast down.

BIRTON.—Your argument is strong and convincing, but it doesn't completely clear God of being responsible for physical and moral evil. I see that your way of justifying Him is making an impact on the audience, but couldn't these laws be designed to avoid such specific misfortunes? You’ve shown me a powerful and eternal God, and I was almost convinced. But I have some serious objections to raise. Come on, John, stay strong; let’s not get discouraged.


CHAPTER X.

ON ATHEISM.

Night closed in beautifully. The atmosphere presented a vault of transparent azure, spangled with golden stars. Such a spectacle always affects man, and inspires him with pleasant reveries. The worthy Parouba admired the heavens, like a German when he beholds St. Peter's at Rome, or the Opera at Naples, for the first time.

Night closed in beautifully. The sky opened up like a clear blue dome, dotted with golden stars. This kind of sight always touches people and sparks lovely daydreams. The admirable Parouba gazed at the heavens, much like a German does when seeing St. Peter's in Rome or the Opera in Naples for the first time.

"What a boldly arched vault," said he to Freind.

"What an impressive arched ceiling," he said to Freind.

"It is no arch at all," replied Freind. "The blue dome you behold is nothing more than a collection of vapors, which God has so disposed and combined with the mechanism of your eyes, that, wherever you may be, you are still in the centre of your promenade, and perceive what is called heaven, arched above your head."

"It’s not an arch at all," replied Freind. "The blue dome you see is just a bunch of vapors that God has arranged and mixed together with the way your eyes work, so that no matter where you are, you’re always at the center of your walk, and you see what people refer to as heaven, arched over your head."

"And those stars, Mr. Freind?"

"And those stars, Mr. Friend?"

"As I have already said, they are so many suns, round which other worlds revolve. Far from being attached to that blue vault, remember that they are at various and prodigious distances from us. That star is twelve hundred millions of miles from our sun."

"As I’ve already mentioned, they are like many suns, around which other worlds orbit. Rather than being fixed to that blue sky, keep in mind that they are at different and incredible distances from us. That star is twelve hundred million miles away from our sun."

Then, showing him the telescope he had brought, he pointed out to him the planets;—Jupiter, with his four moons; Saturn, with his five moons and mysterious ring.

Then, showing him the telescope he had brought, he pointed out the planets: Jupiter, with its four moons; Saturn, with its five moons and mysterious ring.

"It is the same light," said he, "which proceeds from all these luminaries, and comes to us from this planet, in a quarter of an hour, and from that star, in six months."

"It’s the same light," he said, "that comes from all these sources and reaches us from this planet in fifteen minutes, and from that star in six months."

Parouba was deeply impressed, and said: "The heavens proclaim a God." All the crew looked on with admiration. But the pertinacious Birton, unmoved, continued as follows:

Parouba was really impressed and said: "The skies declare there is a God." All the crew watched with admiration. But the determined Birton, unfazed, continued:

BIRTON.—Be it so! There is a God, I grant it. But what is that to you and me? What connection is there between the superior Being and worms of the earth? What relation is there between his essence and ours? Epicurus, when he supposed a God in the planets, did well to conclude that he took no part in our horrors and follies; that we could neither please nor offend him; that he had no need of us; nor we of him. You admit a God, more worthy of the human mind than the God of Epicurus, or the gods of the east and west: but if you assert, with so many others, that God made the world and man for his own glory; that he formerly required sacrifices of oxen for his glory; that he appeared for his glory in our biped form, you would, I think, be asserting an absurdity. The love of glory is nothing but pride. A proud man is a conceited fellow, such as Shakespeare would introduce in his plays. This epithet cannot suit God—it does not agree with the divine nature—any more than injustice, cruelty or inconstancy. If God condescended to regulate the universe, it could only be to make others happy. Has he done so?

BIRTON.—Alright! I acknowledge there's a God. But what does that mean for you and me? What connection exists between a higher being and us mere mortals? What relationship is there between his essence and ours? Epicurus, when he imagined a God in the planets, rightly concluded that this God had no involvement in our troubles and foolishness; that we could neither please nor anger him; that he didn’t need us, nor did we need him. You accept a God who is more worthy of human thought than the God of Epicurus, or the gods from the east and west: but if you claim, along with so many others, that God created the world and humanity for his own glory; that he once demanded oxen sacrifices for that glory; that he manifested in our human form for his glory, I believe you’d be making a ridiculous claim. The desire for glory is simply pride. A proud person is a vain one, like the characters Shakespeare would write about. This description does not fit God—it doesn’t align with the divine nature—just like injustice, cruelty, or inconsistency wouldn’t. If God did take the time to manage the universe, it could only be to bring happiness to others. Has he done that?

FREIND.—He has doubtless succeeded with all just spirits. They will be happy one day; if they are not so now.

FRIEND.—He has surely won over all fair-minded people. They will find happiness someday, even if they don't feel it right now.

BIRTON.—Happy! How? When? Who told you so?

BIRTON.—Happy! How? When? Who said that?

FREIND.—His justice.

FRIEND.—His fairness.

BIRTON.—Will you tell me that we shall live eternally—that we have immortal souls, after admitting that the Jews, whom you boast of having succeeded, did not entertain this notion of immortality up to the time of Herod? This idea of an immortal soul was invented by the Brahmins, adopted by the Persians, Chaldeans, and Greeks, and was for a long time unknown to the insignificant and superstitious Jewish tribes. Alas! sir, how do we know that we have souls? or how do we know but other animals, who have similar passions, wills, appetites, and memories, so incomprehensible to us, have not souls as well?

BIRTON.—Are you really going to tell me that we will live forever—that we have immortal souls—while acknowledging that the Jews, who you claim to have surpassed, didn't even believe in this idea of immortality until the time of Herod? The concept of an immortal soul was created by the Brahmins, adopted by the Persians, Chaldeans, and Greeks, and for a long time, it was completely unknown to the insignificant and superstitious Jewish tribes. Unfortunately, sir, how can we be sure that we have souls? Or how do we know that other animals, who share similar feelings, desires, instincts, and memories that we find so puzzling, don't have souls too?

Hitherto I have thought that there is in nature a power by which we have the faculty of life in all our body,—walking with our feet,—taking with our hands,—seeing with our eyes, feeling with our nerves, thinking with our brain,—and that all this is called the soul, which is merely a vague word, signifying the unknown principle of our faculties. With you, I will call God the intelligent principle animating nature; but has he condescended to reveal himself to us?

Until now, I believed that there is a force in nature that gives us life in our entire body—walking with our feet, taking with our hands, seeing with our eyes, feeling with our nerves, and thinking with our brain—and that all of this is referred to as the soul, which is just a vague term for the mysterious principle behind our abilities. With you, I will refer to God as the intelligent force that animates nature; but has He chosen to reveal Himself to us?

FREIND. Yes, by his works.

FRIEND. Yes, by his actions.

BIRTON.—Has he revealed his laws, or spoken to us?

BIRTON.—Has he shared his rules, or talked to us?

FREIND.—Yes, by the voice of conscience. Is it true, that, if you killed your Father and mother, your conscience would be a prey to a remorse as terrible as it would be involuntary? Is not this truth avowed and felt throughout the world? To come down to lesser crimes,—do they not all revolt us at the first glance,—make us turn pale when we commit them for the first time,—and leave in our hearts the stings of repentance?

BFF.—Yes, by the voice of conscience. Is it true that if you killed your father and mother, your conscience would suffer from a remorse as intense as it is unavoidable? Isn’t this a truth recognized and felt all over the world? When it comes to smaller crimes, don’t they all disgust us at first glance, make us feel sick when we do them for the first time, and leave us with the pangs of regret in our hearts?

BIRTON.—I must confess it.

BIRTON.—I have to admit it.

FREIND.—God, in thus speaking to your heart, has commanded you to abstain from crime. As for equivocal actions, which some condemn and others approve, what can we do better than follow the grand rule of Zoroaster,—"When you are not sure whether the action you are about to commit is good or bad, abstain from it."

BFF.—God, by speaking to your heart, has commanded you to stay away from wrongdoing. As for actions that some criticize and others support, what can we do better than follow the great rule of Zoroaster: "When you're unsure whether the action you're about to take is good or bad, don't do it."

BIRTON.—An admirable maxim, and doubtless the most beautiful ever advanced in morals. I admit that, from time to time, God has raised up men to teach virtue to their degraded fellows. I apologize to you for speaking lightly of virtue.

BIRTON.—A great saying, and probably the most beautiful ever introduced in morals. I acknowledge that, every now and then, God has inspired people to teach goodness to their fallen companions. I'm sorry for treating the topic of virtue so casually.

FREIND.—Rather apologize to the Supreme Being, who can reward and punish eternally.

BFF.—You should apologize to the Supreme Being, who has the power to reward and punish forever.

BIRTON.—What! will God punish me for yielding to passions he has given me?

BIRTON.—What! Is God really going to punish me for giving in to feelings he gave me?

FREIND.—He has given you passions, with which you can do both good and evil. I do not tell you he will punish eternally; nor how he will punish; for no one can know that. The Brahmins were the first to conceive a place of imprisonment for those who had revolted from God; they were shut up in a description of hell, called Onderah, but were gradually liberated at various periods. Hence we have our mixture of virtues, vices, pleasures, and calamities. This conceit is ingenious;—and that of Pandora and Prometheus more so. Less polished nations have vulgurly imitated the same fable. These inventions are the fancies of Eastern philosophy. All I can say is, that if by abusing your liberty you have done evil, you cannot say God will not punish you.

BFF.—He has given you passions that can lead to both good and bad actions. I'm not saying he will punish you forever, nor can I explain how he will punish, because no one truly knows that. The Brahmins were the first to imagine a place of punishment for those who turned against God; they were confined in a sort of hell called Onderah, but they were gradually released over time. That's why we have this mix of virtues, vices, joys, and misfortunes. This idea is clever; and the stories of Pandora and Prometheus are even more so. Less sophisticated cultures have crudely copied the same story. These ideas are the creations of Eastern philosophy. All I can say is, if you've done wrong by misusing your freedom, you can't claim that God won't punish you.

BIRTON.—I have tried to convince myself that he could not; but in vain. I confess I have abused my liberty, and that God may well punish me. But I cannot be punished when I have ceased to exist.

BIRTON.—I've tried to convince myself that he couldn't; but it's been pointless. I admit I've misused my freedom, and God might justly punish me. But I can't be punished if I no longer exist.

FREIND.—The best course is to do well, while you exist.

BFF.—The best approach is to live your life well while you can.

BIRTON.—To do well! Well, I confess I think you are right. It is the best course.

BIRTON.—To succeed! Honestly, I admit you’re right. It’s the best option.


I wish, my dear friend, you had witnessed the effect of Freind's discourse on both the English and Americans. The light saucy Birton became thoughtful and modest. John fell at his father's feet, with tears in his eyes, and his father embraced him. I shall now proceed to relate the last scene of this interesting disputation.

I wish, my dear friend, you could have seen the impact of Friend's talk on both the English and Americans. The lighthearted Birton became serious and humble. John fell at his father's feet, tears in his eyes, and his father hugged him. I will now go on to describe the final scene of this fascinating debate.


BIRTON.—I conceive that the great master of the universe is eternal; but we, who are but of yesterday, may we presume to expect immortality? All beings around us perish, from the insect devoured by the swallow, to the elephant, eaten by worms.

BIRTON.—I believe that the great master of the universe is eternal; but we, who are here only briefly, can we really expect immortality? All beings around us die, from the insect consumed by the swallow to the elephant, which is eaten by worms.

FREIND.—Nothing perishes; but all things change. The genus of animals and vegetables subsist, develop, and multiply. Why can you not allow that God might preserve the principle which makes us act and think, of whatever nature it may be? God preserve me from making a system; but certainly there is in us something that wills and thinks. This something, formerly called a monad, is imperceptible. God has given it us, or, rather, God has given us to it. Are you sure he cannot preserve it in being? Can you give me any proof?

BFF.—Nothing truly disappears; everything just changes. The types of animals and plants continue to exist, grow, and multiply. Why can't you accept that God might keep the essence that drives us to act and think, no matter what it is? God forbid I create a theory; but there’s definitely something in us that desires and thinks. This something, once referred to as a monad, is invisible. God has given it to us, or rather, we exist because of it. Are you really sure He can't keep it alive? Can you provide any evidence?

BIRTON.—No! I have sought for a proof in all the atheistical books within my reach; and especially in the third Book of Lucrece; but I never found any thing but conjectures.

BIRTON.—No! I've looked for evidence in all the atheistic books I can find, especially in the third Book of Lucrece; but I've only come across speculations.

FREIND.—And shall we on simple conjecture give ourselves up to fatal passions, and live like brutes, with no other restraint upon us than the fear of men, rendered eternally cruel to each other by their mutual dread? For we always wish to destroy what we fear. Think, sir! think seriously, my son John. To expect neither reward nor punishment is the true spirit of atheism. What is the use of a God who has no power over you? As though one should say, "There is a very powerful king in China," I reply, "Success to him, let him keep in his territory,—I, in mine. I care no more for him than he cares for me. He has no more control over me than a canon of Windsor over a member of parliament." Then should I be a God to myself,—Sacrificing the whole world to my caprice? And, recognizing no law, I should only consider myself? If others are sheep, I should become the wolf. If they choose to play the chicken, I should play the fox.

BFF.—Are we really going to give in to destructive passions based solely on assumptions and live like animals, with our only restraint being the fear of others, who are made cruel to one another by their constant fear? Because we always want to eliminate what we fear. Think about it, sir! Really think, my son John. To expect neither reward nor punishment is the essence of atheism. What’s the point of a God who has no influence over you? It’s like saying, "There’s a very powerful king in China," and I’d respond, "Good for him, let him stay in his own land—I’ll stay in mine. I care no more for him than he cares for me. He has no more authority over me than a canon in Windsor has over a member of parliament." Should I then be a God to myself—sacrificing the entire world to my whims? And without acknowledging any law, would I only think of myself? If others are sheep, I’d become the wolf. If they decide to play the chicken, I’d play the fox.

I will presume, (God forbid it), that all Englishmen are atheists. I will allow that there may be some peaceable citizens, quiet by nature, rich enough to be honest, regulated by honor, and so attentive to demeanor, that they contrive to live together in society. They cultivate the arts which improve morals; they live at peace in the innocent gaiety of honest people. But the poor and needy atheist, sure of impunity, would be a fool if he did not assassinate or steal to get money. Then would all the bonds of society be sundered. All secret crimes would inundate the world, and, like locusts, though at first imperceptible, would overspread the earth. The common people would become hordes of thieves, like those of our day, of whom not a tenth part are hung at our sessions. They would pass their wretched lives in taverns, with bad women. They would fight together, and fall down drunk amidst the pewter pots with which they break each other's heads. Nor would they rise but to steal and murder again,—-to recommence the same round of hideous brutality. Who, then, would restrain great kings in their fury? An atheist king is more dangerous than a fanatical Ravaillac.

I will assume, (God forbid it), that all Englishmen are atheists. I’ll acknowledge that there might be some peaceful citizens, naturally quiet, wealthy enough to be honest, guided by honor, and so mindful of their behavior, that they manage to coexist in society. They nurture the arts that enhance morals; they live in harmony in the innocent joy of decent people. But the poor and desperate atheist, confident in their lack of consequences, would be foolish not to kill or steal to obtain money. Then all the ties of society would be broken. All hidden crimes would flood the world and, like locusts, would initially go unnoticed but eventually cover the earth. The common people would become bands of thieves, similar to those in our time, of whom not even a fraction are executed at our trials. They would spend their miserable lives in bars, with immoral women. They would fight each other and fall down drunk among the beer mugs with which they smash each other's heads. They would only get up to steal and kill again—to restart the same cycle of horrifying brutality. Who, then, would keep powerful kings in check during their rage? An atheist king is more dangerous than a fanatical Ravaillac.

Atheism abounded in Italy during the fifteenth century. What was the consequence? It was as common a matter to poison another, as to invite him to supper. The stroke of the stiletto was as frequent as an embrace. There were then professors of crime; as we now have professors of music and mathematics. Churches, even, were the favorite scenes of murder, and princes were slain at the altar. In this way, Pope Sextus IV. and archbishop of Pisa put to death two of the most accomplished princes of Europe. Explain, my dear friend, to Parouba and his children, what I mean by a pope and an archbishop; but tell them we have no such monsters now. But to resume: A Duke of Milan was also slain in a church. Every one knows the astonishing horrors of Alexander VI. Had such morals continued, Italy would have been more desolate than Peru after the invasion.

Atheism was widespread in Italy during the fifteenth century. What was the result? It was as common to poison someone as it was to invite them to dinner. The stab of a dagger happened as often as a hug. There were then experts in crime, just like we have experts in music and math today. Churches were even the preferred locations for murder, and princes were killed at the altar. For instance, Pope Sextus IV and the Archbishop of Pisa executed two of the most skilled princes in Europe. Explain to Parouba and his kids what I mean by a pope and an archbishop, but tell them we don’t have such monsters anymore. To continue, a Duke of Milan was also killed in a church. Everyone knows about the shocking horrors of Alexander VI. If such morals had persisted, Italy would have been more desolate than Peru after the invasion.

Faith, then, in a God who rewards good actions, punishes the bad, and forgives lesser faults, is most useful to mankind. It is the only restraint on powerful men, who insolently commit crimes on the public, and on others who skillfully perpetrate offences. I do not tell you to mingle, with this necessary faith, superstitious notions that disgrace it. Atheism is a monster that would prey on mankind only to satisfy its voracity. Superstition is another phantom, preying upon men as a deity. I have often observed that an atheist may be cured; but we rarely cure superstition radically. The atheist is generally an inquiring man, who is deceived; the superstitious man is a brutal fool, having no ideas of his own. An atheist might assault Ephigenia when on the point of marrying Achilles; but a fanatic would piously sacrifice her on the altar, and think he did service to Jupiter. An atheist would steal a golden vessel from the altar to feast his favorites, but the fanatic would celebrate an auto-da-fe in the same church, and sing hymns while he was causing Jews to be burned alive. Yes, my friends, superstition and atheism are the two poles of a universe in confusion. Tread these paths with a firm step; believe in a good God, and be good. This is all that the great philosophers, Penn and Locke, require of their people.

Faith in a God who rewards good deeds, punishes bad ones, and forgives minor mistakes is incredibly valuable for humanity. It serves as the only check on powerful individuals who brazenly commit wrongs against the public and on others who expertly carry out offenses. I’m not saying you should mix this essential faith with superstitious ideas that tarnish it. Atheism is a monster that would prey on humanity just to satisfy its hunger. Superstition is another illusion, exploiting people as if it were a god. I’ve often noticed that an atheist can be converted; however, we rarely manage to completely eliminate superstition. An atheist is usually someone who questions and is misled; the superstitious person is a foolish brute with no original thoughts. An atheist might attack Ephigenia at the moment she's about to marry Achilles; but a fanatic would religiously sacrifice her on an altar, thinking he was serving Jupiter. An atheist might steal a golden vessel from the altar to indulge his favorites, while the fanatic would hold an auto-da-fe in the same church and sing hymns while burning Jews alive. Yes, my friends, superstition and atheism are the two extremes of a chaotic universe. Walk these paths with confidence; believe in a good God and be good. That’s all that the great philosophers, Penn and Locke, ask of their followers.

Answer me, Mr. Birton,—and you, my friends,—what harm can the worship of God, joined to the happiness of a virtuous life, do you? We might be seized with mortal sickness, even now while I am speaking; who, then, would not wish to have lived innocently? Read, in Shakespeare, the death of our wicked Richard III., and see how the ghosts of those he had murdered haunted his imagination. Witness the death of Charles IX. after the horrors of St. Bartholomew. In vain his chaplain assured him he had done well. His blood started from every pore; all the blood he had shed cried out against him! Believe me, all these monsters were tortured by remorse, and died in despair.

Answer me, Mr. Birton—and you, my friends—what harm can worshipping God, along with leading a good life, do for you? We could fall seriously ill right now while I’m speaking; who among us wouldn’t wish they had lived a pure life? Look at Shakespeare’s portrayal of the death of the evil Richard III, and see how the ghosts of those he murdered tormented his mind. Witness the death of Charles IX. after the horrors of St. Bartholomew. His chaplain reassured him that he had done well, but it was useless. Blood poured from every pore; all the lives he took cried out against him! Trust me, all these monsters were tormented by guilt and died in despair.

Birton and his friends could contain themselves no longer. They fell at Freind's feet, "Yes," said Birton, "I believe in God, and I believe you."

Birton and his friends could no longer hold back. They fell at Freind's feet, "Yes," said Birton, "I believe in God, and I believe you."


CHAPTER XI.

RETURN TO ENGLAND—JOHN'S WEDDING.

We were already near Parouba's house; and we supped there. John could eat nothing. He sat apart in tears. His father went to console him.

We were already close to Parouba's house, and we had dinner there. John couldn't eat anything. He sat alone, crying. His father went over to comfort him.

"Ah!" said John, "I do not deserve such a father. I shall die of shame for yielding to the fascination of that wicked Clive-Hart. I am the cause of Miss Primerose's death; just now, when you talked of poison, I shuddered; for I thought I saw Clive-Hart presenting the horrible draught to Primerose. How could I have so far lost myself as to accompany so vile a creature? I was blind. I did not discover my error till she was taken by the savages. In a fit of rage she almost admitted her guilt. From that moment, I have loathed her; and, for a punishment, the form of Primerose is ever before me, and seems to say, 'I died because I loved you.'" His father said a blameless life could alone repair his past errors.

"Ah!" John exclaimed, "I don't deserve such a father. I'm going to die of shame for giving in to the lure of that wicked Clive-Hart. I'm the reason Miss Primerose died; just now, when you mentioned poison, I shuddered because I imagined Clive-Hart handing that awful drink to Primerose. How could I have been so blind as to associate with such a despicable person? I didn't realize my mistake until she was taken by the savages. In a moment of anger, she almost confessed her guilt. Since then, I've hated her; and as a punishment, the image of Primerose is always before me, seeming to say, 'I died because I loved you.'" His father told him that only a life of integrity could make up for his past mistakes.

The next day we sailed for England, after giving presents to the Paroubas. Tears mingled with our adieus; and Birton, who had been only giddy, already seemed a reasonable person.

The next day we set sail for England, after giving gifts to the Paroubas. Tears mixed with our goodbyes; and Birton, who had just been acting silly, now seemed like a sensible person.

When we were out at sea, Freind said to John, in my presence: "Do you still cherish the memory of the amiable Primerose?" These words so wrung the heart of the young man, that I feared he would throw himself into the sea.

When we were out at sea, Freind said to John, in my presence: "Do you still remember the lovely Primerose?" These words affected the young man so deeply that I worried he might jump into the sea.

"Console yourself, then," said Freind. "Miss Primerose is alive, and loves you still."

"Cheer up, then," said Freind. "Miss Primerose is alive and still loves you."

Freind had received certain information on this subject from his servant, who had written to him punctually by every ship. Mr. Mead, who has since acquired so great a reputation by his skill in the counteraction of poisons, had saved the young lady's life. In a moment, John passed from despair to extreme joy. I will not attempt to describe the change. It was the happiest moment of his life. Birton and his friends shared his joy. What more shall I say? The worthy Freind was as a father to all. The wedding was celebrated at Dr. Mead's. Birton, now another man, also married; and he and John are now among the best people in England.

Freind had received some information on this topic from his servant, who had written to him regularly with each ship. Mr. Mead, who has since gained a great reputation for his skill in counteracting poisons, had saved the young lady's life. In an instant, John went from despair to overwhelming joy. I won't even try to describe the change. It was the happiest moment of his life. Birton and his friends shared in his happiness. What more can I say? The admirable Freind was like a father to everyone. The wedding took place at Dr. Mead's. Birton, now a changed man, also got married, and he and John are now among the best people in England.

Admit, that a wise man can instruct fools.

Admit that a wise person can teach fools.

EPICTETUS, THE SLAVE. From a painting by Giuseppe Rossi.—Marcus Aurelius, on the throne of Europe and two parts of our hemisphere, did not think otherwise than the slave Epictetus. Epictetus, the slave. From a painting by Giuseppe Rossi.—Marcus Aurelius, ruling over Europe and two-thirds of our hemisphere, shared the same thoughts as the slave Epictetus.


GRAND ENTRANCE TO PALACE. (From Layard's Discoveries among the ruins of Nineveh and Babylon.) Grand entrance to the palace. (From Layard's Discoveries among the ruins of Nineveh and Babylon.)

PRINCESS OF BABYLON

The Phœnix The Phoenix [1]

I.

ROYAL COMPETITION FOR FORMOSANTA'S HAND.

The aged Belus, king of Babylon, thought himself the first man upon earth; for all his courtiers told him so, and his historians proved it. We know that his palace and his park, situated at a few parafangs from Babylon, extended between the Euphrates and the Tigris, which washed those enchanted banks. His vast house, three thousand feet in front, almost reached the clouds. The platform was surrounded with a balustrade of white marble, fifty feet high, which supported colossal statues of all the kings and great men of the empire. This platform, composed of two rows of bricks, covered with a thick surface of lead from one extremity to the other, bore twelve feet of earth; and upon the earth were raised groves of olive, orange, citron, palm, cocoa, and cinnamon trees, and stock gillyflowers, which formed alleys that the rays of the sun could not penetrate.

The old Belus, king of Babylon, believed he was the first man on earth; all his courtiers told him so, and his historians confirmed it. His palace and park, located a few miles from Babylon, stretched between the Euphrates and the Tigris rivers, which flowed around those magical banks. His enormous house, three thousand feet wide, nearly touched the clouds. The platform was surrounded by a fifty-foot high balustrade made of white marble, which held up giant statues of all the kings and great figures of the empire. This platform, built of two layers of bricks and covered with a thick sheet of lead from one end to the other, supported twelve feet of soil; and on the soil grew groves of olive, orange, citron, palm, cocoa, and cinnamon trees, along with stock gillyflowers that created paths where sunlight could not reach.

The waters of the Euphrates running, by the assistance of pumps, in a hundred canals, formed cascades of six thousand feet in length in the park, and a hundred thousand jets d'eau, whose height was scarce perceptible. They afterward flowed into the Euphrates, from whence they came. The gardens of Semiramis, which astonished Asia several ages after, were only a feeble imitation of these ancient prodigies, for in the time of Semiramis, every thing began to degenerate amongst men and women.

The waters of the Euphrates, aided by pumps, flowed through a hundred canals, creating cascades that extended six thousand feet in the park, along with a hundred thousand jets d'eau that were barely noticeable in height. They later returned to the Euphrates from which they originated. The gardens of Semiramis, which amazed Asia many ages later, were merely a poor imitation of these ancient wonders, as during Semiramis's time, everything started to decline among people.

But what was more admirable in Babylon, and eclipsed every thing else, was the only daughter of the king, named Formosanta. It was from her pictures and statues, that in succeeding times Praxiteles sculptured his Aphrodita, and the Venus of Medicis. Heavens! what a difference between the original and the copies! so that king Belus was prouder of his daughter than of his kingdom. She was eighteen years old. It was necessary she should have a husband worthy of her; but where was he to be found? An ancient oracle had ordained, that Formosanta could not belong to any but him who could bend the bow of Nimrod.

But what stood out the most in Babylon, overshadowing everything else, was the king's only daughter, Formosanta. It was from her images and statues that later on, Praxiteles created his Aphrodita and the Venus of Medicis. Wow! What a difference between the original and the copies! King Belus was prouder of his daughter than of his kingdom. She was eighteen years old. It was essential for her to have a husband worthy of her, but where could he be found? An ancient prophecy had decreed that Formosanta could only belong to the man who could bend Nimrod's bow.

This Nimrod, "a mighty hunter before the Lord," (Gen. x:9), had left a bow seventeen Babylonian feet in length, made of ebony, harder than the iron of mount Caucasus, which is wrought in the forges of Derbent; and no mortal since Nimrod could bend this astonishing bow.

This Nimrod, "a mighty hunter before the Lord," (Gen. x:9), had left behind a bow seventeen Babylonian feet long, made of ebony, which is tougher than the iron from Mount Caucasus, crafted in the forges of Derbent; no one since Nimrod has been able to bend this incredible bow.

It was again said, "that the arm which should bend this bow would kill the most terrible and ferocious lion that should be let loose in the Circus of Babylon." This was not all. The bender of the bow, and the conquerer of the lion, should overthow all his rivals; but he was above all things to be very sagacious, the most magnificent and most virtuous of men, and possess the greatest curiosity in the whole universe.

It was once again stated, "whoever can bend this bow will slay the most fearsome and savage lion released in the Circus of Babylon." But that’s not everything. The one who bends the bow and defeats the lion will also overcome all of his competitors; however, he must, above all, be very wise, the most magnificent and virtuous of men, and have the greatest curiosity of anyone in the universe.

Three kings appeared, who were bold enough to claim Formosanta. Pharaoh of Egypt, the Shah of India, and the great Khan of the Scythians. Belus appointed the day and place of combat, which was to be at the extremity of his park, in the vast expanse surrounded by the joint waters of the Euphrates and the Tigris. Round the lists a marble amphitheatre was erected, which might contain five hundred thousand spectators. Opposite the amphitheatre was placed the king's throne. He was to appear with Formosanta, accompanied by the whole court; and on the right and left between the throne and the amphitheatre, there were other thrones and seats for the three kings, and for all the other sovereigns who were desirous to be present at this august ceremony.

Three kings showed up, daring enough to claim Formosanta. The Pharaoh of Egypt, the Shah of India, and the great Khan of the Scythians. Belus set the date and location for the battle, which was to take place at the far end of his park, in the vast area surrounded by the combined waters of the Euphrates and Tigris. A marble amphitheater was built around the arena, capable of holding five hundred thousand spectators. Opposite the amphitheater was the king's throne. He was to come with Formosanta, along with the entire court; and on the right and left, between the throne and the amphitheater, there were additional thrones and seats for the three kings and all the other rulers who wanted to witness this grand ceremony.

The king of Egypt arrived the first, mounted upon the bull Apis, and holding in his hand the cithern of Isis. He was followed by two thousand priests, clad in linen vestments whiter than snow, two thousand eunuchs, two thousand magicians, and two thousand warriors.

The king of Egypt was the first to arrive, riding the bull Apis and holding the cithern of Isis in his hand. He was followed by two thousand priests dressed in linen garments whiter than snow, two thousand eunuchs, two thousand magicians, and two thousand warriors.

The king of India came soon after in a car drawn by twelve elephants. He had a train still more numerous and more brilliant than Pharaoh of Egypt.

The king of India arrived shortly after in a car pulled by twelve elephants. He had an entourage that was even larger and more impressive than that of Pharaoh of Egypt.

The last who appeared was the king of the Scythians. He had none with him but chosen warriors, armed with bows and arrows. He was mounted upon a superb tiger, which he had tamed, and which was as tall as any of the finest Persian horses. The majestic and important mien of this king effaced the appearance of his rivals; his naked arms, as nervous as they were white, seemed already to bend the bow of Nimrod.

The last to appear was the king of the Scythians. He brought only selected warriors, armed with bows and arrows. He was riding a magnificent tiger that he had tamed, standing as tall as any of the finest Persian horses. The king’s majestic and imposing presence overshadowed his rivals; his bare arms, strong and pale, seemed ready to draw the bow of Nimrod.

These three lovers immediately prostrated themselves before Belus and Formosanta. The king of Egypt presented the princess with two of the finest crocodiles of the Nile, two sea horses, two zebras, two Egyptian rats, and two mummies, with the books of the great Hermes, which he judged to be the scarcest things upon earth.

These three lovers immediately bowed down before Belus and Formosanta. The king of Egypt gave the princess two of the best crocodiles from the Nile, two sea horses, two zebras, two Egyptian rats, and two mummies, along with the books of the great Hermes, which he considered to be the rarest things on earth.

The king of India offered her a hundred elephants, each bearing a wooden gilt tower, and laid at her feet the vedam, written by the hand of Xaca himself.

The king of India gave her a hundred elephants, each carrying a wooden gilded tower, and placed at her feet the vedam, written by the hand of Xaca himself.

The king of the Scythians, who could neither write nor read, presented a hundred warlike horses with black fox skin housings.

The king of the Scythians, who couldn’t read or write, presented a hundred fierce horses with black fox skin coverings.

The princess appeared with a downcast look before her lovers, and reclined herself with such a grace as was at once modest and noble.

The princess entered with a sad expression in front of her admirers and lay down with a grace that was both humble and dignified.

Belus ordered the kings to be conducted to the thrones that were prepared for them. "Would I had three daughters," said he to them, "I should make six people this day happy!" He then made the competitors cast lots which should try Nimrod's bow first. Their names inscribed were put into a golden casque. That of the Egyptian king came out first, then the name of the King of India appeared. The king of Scythia, viewing the bow and his rivals, did not complain at being the third.

Belus instructed that the kings be taken to the thrones set up for them. "If only I had three daughters," he said to them, "I could make six people happy today!" He then had the contestants draw lots to see who would try Nimrod's bow first. Their names, written down, were placed in a golden helmet. The name of the Egyptian king was drawn first, followed by the name of the King of India. The king of Scythia, observing the bow and his competitors, did not mind being third.

Whilst these brilliant trials were preparing, twenty thousand pages and twenty thousand youthful maidens distributed, without any disorder, refreshments to the spectators between the rows of seats. Every one acknowledged that the gods had instituted kings for no other cause than every day to give festivals, upon condition they should be diversified—that life is too short for any other purpose—that lawsuits, intrigues, wars, the altercations of theologists, which consume human life, are horrible and absurd—that man is born only for happiness that he would not passionately and incessantly pursue pleasure, were he not designed for it—that the essence of human nature is to enjoy ourselves, and all the rest is folly. This excellent moral was never controverted but by facts.

While these impressive events were being organized, twenty thousand pages and twenty thousand young women served snacks to the audience without any fuss, moving between the rows of seats. Everyone recognized that the gods established kings for no reason other than to host festivals every day, with the condition that they should be varied—that life is too short for any other purpose—that lawsuits, schemes, wars, and the disputes of theologians, which waste human existence, are terrible and ridiculous—that humans are born for happiness and would not passionately and tirelessly seek pleasure if they weren't meant for it—that the core of human nature is to enjoy life, and everything else is nonsense. This great moral was only ever challenged by actual events.

Whilst preparations were making for determining the fate of Formosanta, a young stranger, mounted upon an unicorn, accompanied by his valet, mounted on a like animal, and bearing upon his hand a large bird, appeared at the barrier. The guards were surprised to observe in this equipage, a figure that had an air of divinity. He had, as hath been since related, the face of Adonis upon the body of Hercules; it was majesty accompanied by the graces. His black eye-brows and flowing fair tresses, wore a mixture of beauty unknown at Babylon, and charmed all observers. The whole amphitheatre rose up, the better to view the stranger. All the ladies of the court viewed him with looks of astonishment. Formosanta herself, who had hitherto kept her eyes fixed upon the ground, raised them and blushed. The three kings turned pale. The spectators, in comparing Formosanta with the stranger, cried out, "There is no other in the world, but this young man, who can be so handsome as the princess."

While preparations were being made to decide the fate of Formosanta, a young stranger, riding on a unicorn and accompanied by his valet on a similar creature, appeared at the barrier. The guards were surprised to see someone in this setup who had an air of divinity. He had, as has been described since, the face of Adonis on the body of Hercules; a combination of majesty and grace. His dark eyebrows and flowing blond hair showcased a beauty unlike anything seen in Babylon, charming all who looked on. The entire amphitheater rose to get a better look at the stranger. All the ladies of the court gazed at him in astonishment. Formosanta herself, who had been staring at the ground, lifted her gaze and blushed. The three kings turned pale. The spectators, comparing Formosanta to the stranger, exclaimed, "There is no one else in the world who can be as handsome as the princess."

The ushers, struck with astonishment, asked him if he was a king? The stranger replied, that he had not that honor, but that he had come from a distant country, excited by curiosity, to see if there were any king worthy of Formosanta. He was introduced into the first row of the amphitheatre, with his valet, his two unicorns, and his bird. He saluted, with great respect, Belus, his daughter, the three kings, and all the assembly. He then took his seat, not without blushing. His two unicorns lay down at his feet; his bird perched upon his shoulder; and his valet, who carried a little bag, placed himself by his side.

The ushers, in shock, asked him if he was a king. The stranger replied that he didn't have that honor, but he had traveled from a faraway country, driven by curiosity, to see if there was any king worthy of Formosanta. He was welcomed into the front row of the amphitheater with his valet, his two unicorns, and his bird. He greeted Belus, his daughter, the three kings, and the whole crowd with great respect. He then sat down, not without feeling a bit embarrassed. His two unicorns lay down at his feet, his bird settled on his shoulder, and his valet, who was carrying a small bag, stood by his side.

The trials began. The bow of Nimrod was taken out of its golden case. The first master of the ceremonies, followed by fifty pages, and preceded by twenty trumpets, presented it to the king of Egypt, who made his priests bless it; and supporting it upon the head of the bull Apis, he did not question his gaining this first victory. He dismounted, and came into the middle of the circus. He tries, exerts all his strength, and makes such ridiculous contortions, that the whole amphitheatre re-echoes with laughter, and Formosanta herself could not help smiling.

The trials began. The bow of Nimrod was taken out of its golden case. The first master of ceremonies, followed by fifty attendants and preceded by twenty trumpeters, presented it to the king of Egypt, who had his priests bless it. Supporting it on the head of the bull Apis, he was confident of winning this first victory. He dismounted and entered the middle of the circus. He tried hard, exerting all his strength, and made such absurd contortions that the entire amphitheater echoed with laughter, and even Formosanta couldn't help but smile.

His high almoner approached him:

His chief almoner approached him:

"Let your majesty give up this idle honor, which depends entirely upon the nerves and muscles. You will triumph in every thing else. You will conquer the lion, as you are possessed of the favor of Osiris. The Princess of Babylon is to belong to the prince who is most sagacious, and you have solved enigmas. She is to wed the most virtuous: you are such, as you have been educated by the priests of Egypt. The most generous is to marry her, and you have presented her with two of the handsomest crocodiles, and two of the finest rats in all the Delta. You are possessed of the bull Apis, and the books of Hermes, which are the scarcest things in the universe. No one can hope to dispute Formosanta with you."

"Your Majesty should let go of this pointless honor, which is all about physical strength. You’ll succeed in everything else. You’ll defeat the lion, as you have the favor of Osiris. The Princess of Babylon will belong to the most clever prince, and you have solved riddles. She will marry the most virtuous, and you are that person, having been raised by the priests of Egypt. The most generous will marry her, and you’ve given her two of the most beautiful crocodiles and two of the finest rats in all the Delta. You possess the bull Apis and the books of Hermes, which are the rarest things in the world. No one can hope to compete with you for Formosanta."

"You are in the right," said the King of Egypt, and resumed his throne.

"You are right," said the King of Egypt, and sat back down on his throne.

The bow was then put in the hands of the king of India. It blistered his hands for a fortnight; but he consoled himself in presuming that the Scythian King would not be more fortunate than himself.

The bow was then placed in the hands of the king of India. It burned his hands for two weeks; but he comforted himself by thinking that the Scythian King would not have better luck than he did.

The Scythian handled the bow in his turn. He united skill with strength. The bow seemed to have some elasticity in his hands. He bent it a little, but he could not bring it near a curve. The spectators, who had been prejudiced in his favor by his agreeable aspect, lamented his ill success, and concluded that the beautiful princess would never be married.

The Scythian took his turn with the bow. He combined skill with strength. The bow appeared to have some flexibility in his grip. He bent it slightly, but he couldn't get it to curve. The onlookers, who had been biased in his favor because of his charming appearance, expressed their disappointment at his failure and concluded that the beautiful princess would never get married.

The unknown youth leaped into the arena and addressing himself to the king of Scythia said:

The unknown young man jumped into the arena and said to the king of Scythia:

"Your majesty need not be surprised at not having entirely succeeded. These ebony bows are made in my country. There is a peculiar method in using them. Your merit is greater in having bent it, than if I were to curve it."

"Your majesty shouldn't be surprised at not having completely succeeded. These black bows are made in my country. There's a unique technique for using them. Your achievement is even greater for having bent it than if I were to shape it."

He then took an arrow and placing it upon the string, bent the bow of Nimrod, and shot the arrow beyond the gates. A million hands at once applauded the prodigy. Babylon re-echoed with acclamations; and all the ladies agreed it was fortunate for so handsome a youth to be so strong.

He then took an arrow, placed it on the string, bent Nimrod's bow, and shot the arrow beyond the gates. A million hands clapped at the remarkable feat. Babylon echoed with cheers, and all the ladies agreed it was lucky for such a handsome young man to be so strong.

He then took out of his pocket a small ivory tablet, wrote upon it with a golden pencil, fixed the tablet to the bow, and then presented it to the princess with such a grace as charmed every spectator. He then modestly returned to his place between his bird and his valet. All Babylon was in astonishment; the three kings were confounded, whilst the stranger did not seem to pay the least attention to what had happened.

He then took a small ivory tablet out of his pocket, wrote on it with a golden pencil, attached the tablet to the bow, and presented it to the princess with a grace that captivated everyone watching. He then modestly returned to his spot between his bird and his servant. All of Babylon was astonished; the three kings were stunned, while the stranger appeared completely unfazed by what had just happened.

Formosanta was still more surprised to read upon the ivory tablet, tied to the bow, these lines, written in the best Chaldean:

Formosanta was even more surprised to read on the ivory tablet, attached to the bow, these lines written in flawless Chaldean:

L'arc de Nembrod est celui de la guerre;
L'arc de l'amour est celui du bonheur;
Vous le portez. Par vous ce Dieu vainqueur
Est devenu le maitre de la terre.
Trois Rois puissants, trois rivaux aujourd'hui,
Osent pretendre a l'honneur de vous plaire.
Je ne sais pas qui votre cœur prefere,
Mais l'univers sera jaloux de lui.

[The bow of Nimrod is that of war;
The bow of love is that of happiness
Which you possess. Through you this conquering God
Has become master of the earth.
Three powerful kings,—three rivals now,
Dare aspire to the honor of pleasing you.
I know not whom your heart may prefer,
But the universe will be jealous of him.]

The bow of Nimrod symbolizes war;
The bow of love symbolizes happiness;
You hold it. Through you, this victorious God
Has become the ruler of the earth.
Three powerful kings, three rivals today,
I’m eager to earn the privilege of making you happy.
I don't know who your heart chooses,
But the universe will be envious of him.

The bow of Nimrod symbolizes warfare;
The bow of love is a source of happiness.
Which you have. Through you, this victorious God
Has become the master of the earth.
Three powerful kings, three rivals now,
I dare to hope that I can earn the honor of pleasing you.
I don't know who your heart may prefer,
But the universe will be envious of him.

This little madrigal did not displease the princess; but it was criticised by some of the lords of the ancient court, who said that, in former times, Belus would have been compared to the sun, and Formosanta to the moon; his neck to a tower, and her breast to a bushel of wheat. They said the stranger had no sort of imagination, and that he had lost sight of the rules of true poetry, but all the ladies thought the verses very gallant. They were astonished that a man who handled a bow so well should have so much wit. The lady of honor to the princess said to her:

This little song didn’t upset the princess; however, it was criticized by some of the lords of the old court, who claimed that, in the past, Belus would have been compared to the sun, and Formosanta to the moon; his neck to a tower, and her breast to a bushel of wheat. They argued that the newcomer lacked imagination and had forgotten the principles of true poetry, but all the ladies found the verses quite charming. They were surprised that a man who was so skilled with a bow could also be so witty. The lady-in-waiting to the princess said to her:

"Madam, what great talents are here entirely lost? What benefit will this young man derive from his wit, and his skill with Nimrod's bow?"

"Ma'am, what amazing talents are completely wasted here? What advantage will this young man get from his intelligence and his skill with a bow, like Nimrod?"

"Being admired!" said Formosanta.

"Getting admired!" said Formosanta.

"Ah!" said the lady, "one more madrigal, and he might well be beloved."

"Ah!" said the lady, "one more song, and he could really be loved."

The king of Babylon, having consulted his sages, declared that though none of these kings could bend the bow of Nimrod, yet, nevertheless, his daughter was to be married, and that she should belong to him who could conquer the great lion, which was purposely kept in training in his great menagerie.

The king of Babylon, after talking to his wise men, announced that even though none of these kings could shoot the bow of Nimrod, his daughter was still to be married, and she would belong to whoever could defeat the great lion, which was purposely kept in training in his huge menagerie.

The king of Egypt, upon whose education all the wisdom of Egypt had been exhausted, judged it very ridiculous to expose a king to the ferocity of wild beasts in order to be married. He acknowledged that he considered the possession of Formosanta of inestimable value; but he believed that if the lion should strangle him, he could never wed this fair Babylonian. The king of India held similar views to the king of Egypt. They both concluded that the king of Babylon was laughing at them, and that they should send for armies to punish him—that they had many subjects who would think themselves highly honored to die in the service of their masters, without it costing them a single hair of their sacred heads,—that they could easily dethrone the king of Babylon, and then they would draw lots for the fair Formosanta.

The king of Egypt, who had received all the education and wisdom Egypt could offer, thought it was really ridiculous to risk a king’s life against wild animals just to get married. He admitted that having Formosanta was incredibly valuable, but he believed that if a lion ended up killing him, he would never be able to marry this beautiful Babylonian. The king of India shared similar thoughts as the king of Egypt. They both decided that the king of Babylon was mocking them, and that they should gather armies to take revenge—there were many subjects who would feel honored to die for their rulers, without it costing them even a single hair on their heads, and they could easily overthrow the king of Babylon, after which they would draw lots for the lovely Formosanta.

This agreement being made, the two kings sent each an express into his respective country, with orders to assemble three hundred thousand men to carry off Formosanta.

This agreement was reached, and the two kings each sent a messenger back to their own country with instructions to gather three hundred thousand men to capture Formosanta.

However, the king of Scythia descended alone into the arena, scimitar in hand. He was not distractedly enamored with Formosanta's charms. Glory till then had been his only passion, and it had led him to Babylon. He was willing to show that if the kings of India and Egypt were so prudent as not to tilt with lions, he was courageous enough not to decline the combat, and he would repair the honor of diadems. His uncommon valor would not even allow him to avail himself of the assistance of his tiger. He advanced singly, slightly armed with a shell casque ornamented with gold, and shaded with three horses' tails as white as snow.

However, the king of Scythia entered the arena on his own, holding a scimitar. He wasn't distracted by Formosanta's beauty. Until now, his only passion had been glory, which had taken him to Babylon. He was determined to prove that while the kings of India and Egypt wisely avoided fighting lions, he was brave enough to face the challenge head-on and restore the honor of crowns. His extraordinary courage didn't even let him accept help from his tiger. He approached alone, wearing light armor made of a shell helmet decorated with gold, and three horse tails as white as snow provided shade.

One of the most enormous and ferocious lions that fed upon the Antilibanian mountains was let loose upon him. His tremendous paws appeared capable of tearing the three kings to pieces at once, and his gullet to devour them. The two proud champions fled with the utmost precipitancy and in the most rapid manner to each other. The courageous Scythian plunged his sword into the lion's mouth; but the point meeting with one of those thick teeth that nothing can penetrate, was broken; and the monster of the woods, more furious from his wound, had already impressed his fearful claws into the monarch's sides.

One of the largest and most ferocious lions from the Antilibanian mountains was unleashed on him. Its massive paws seemed capable of tearing the three kings apart at once, and its throat was ready to swallow them whole. The two proud champions quickly ran toward each other in a panic. The brave Scythian thrust his sword into the lion's mouth, but the tip got caught on one of its thick teeth that nothing could pierce, and it broke. The beast, more enraged from the injury, had already sunk its terrifying claws into the king's sides.

The unknown youth, touched with the peril of so brave a prince, leaped into the arena swift as lightning, and cut off the lion's head with as much dexterity as we have lately seen, in our carousals, youthful knights knock off the heads of black images.

The unknown young man, caught up in the danger of such a brave prince, jumped into the arena as fast as lightning and swiftly cut off the lion's head with as much skill as we've recently witnessed in our celebrations, where young knights knock off the heads of black statues.

Then drawing out a small box, he presented it to the Scythian king, saying to him.

Then pulling out a small box, he gave it to the Scythian king, saying to him.

"Your majesty will here find the genuine dittany, which grows in my country. Your glorious wounds will be healed in a moment. Accident alone prevented your triumph over the lion. Your valor is not the less to be admired."

"Your majesty will find the real dittany here, which grows in my country. Your glorious wounds will heal in no time. It was only by chance that you didn’t defeat the lion. Your courage is still admirable."

The Scythian king, animated more with gratitude than jealousy, thanked his benefactor; and, after having tenderly embraced him, returned to his seat to apply the dittany to his wounds.

The Scythian king, filled more with gratitude than jealousy, thanked his benefactor; and after warmly embracing him, returned to his seat to treat his wounds with the dittany.

The stranger gave the lion's head to his valet, who, having washed it at the great fountain which was beneath the amphitheatre, and drained all the blood, took an iron instrument out of his little bag, with which having drawn the lion's forty teeth, he supplied their place with forty diamonds of equal size.

The stranger handed the lion's head to his servant, who, after washing it at the large fountain under the amphitheater and draining all the blood, took out a metal tool from his small bag. Using it, he removed the lion's forty teeth and replaced them with forty diamonds of the same size.

His master, with his usual modesty, returned to his place; he gave the lion's head to his bird:—"Beauteous bird," said he, "carry this small homage, and lay it at the feet of Formosanta."

His master, as usual, modestly went back to his spot; he handed the lion's head to his bird:—"Beautiful bird," he said, "take this small tribute and place it at the feet of Formosanta."

"The unknown youth, touched with the peril of so brave a prince, leaped into the arena swift as lightning, and cut off the lion's head." "The unknown young man, moved by the danger facing such a brave prince, jumped into the arena as quickly as lightning and struck off the lion's head."

The bird winged its way with the dreadful triumph in one of its talons, and presented it to the princess; bending with humility his neck, and crouching before her. The sparkling diamonds dazzled the eyes of every beholder. Such magnificence was unknown even in superb Babylon. The emerald, the topaz, the sapphire, and the pyrope, were as yet considered as the most precious ornaments. Belus and the whole court were struck with admiration. The bird which presented this present surprised them still more. It was of the size of an eagle, but its eyes were as soft and tender as those of the eagle are fierce and threatening. Its bill was rose color, and seemed somewhat to resemble Formosanta's handsome mouth. Its neck represented all the colors of Iris, but still more striking and brilliant. Gold, in a thousand shades, glittered upon its plumage. Its feet resembled a mixture of silver and purple. And the tails of those beautiful birds, which have since drawn Juno's car, did not equal the splendor of this incomparable bird.

The bird flew in with a dreadful triumph in one of its talons and presented it to the princess, bending its neck in humility and crouching before her. The sparkling diamonds dazzled everyone who saw them. Such magnificence had never been seen, even in glorious Babylon. The emerald, the topaz, the sapphire, and the pyrope were still considered the most precious jewels. Belus and the entire court were filled with admiration. The bird presenting this gift surprised them even more. It was the size of an eagle, but its eyes were as soft and gentle as the eagle's are fierce and menacing. Its beak was rose-colored and somewhat resembled Formosanta's beautiful mouth. Its neck displayed all the colors of the rainbow, but even more striking and brilliant. Gold, in a thousand shades, glittered on its feathers. Its feet were a mix of silver and purple. And the tails of those beautiful birds that have since pulled Juno's chariot couldn't match the splendor of this extraordinary bird.

The attention, curiosity, astonishment, and ecstasy of the whole court were divided between the jewels and the bird. It had perched upon the balustrade between Belus and his daughter Formosanta. She petted it, caressed it, and kissed it. It seemed to receive her attentions with a mixture of pleasure and respect. When the princess gave the bird a kiss, it returned the embrace, and then looked upon her with languishing eyes. She gave it biscuits and pistachios, which it received in its purple-silvered claw, and carried to its bill with inexpressible grace.

The entire court was captivated by the jewels and the bird. It had settled on the railing between Belus and his daughter Formosanta. She gently petted it, caressed it, and kissed it. It seemed to appreciate her attention with a mix of pleasure and respect. When the princess kissed the bird, it returned the gesture and gazed at her with longing eyes. She offered it biscuits and pistachios, which it took in its purple-silver claw and elegantly brought to its beak.

Belus, who had attentively considered the diamonds, concluded that scarce any one of his provinces could repay so valuable a present. He ordered that more magnificent gifts should be prepared for the stranger than those destined for the three monarchs, "This young man," said he, "is doubtless son to the emperor of China; or of that part of the world called Europe, which I have heard spoken of; or of Africa, which is said to be in the vicinity of the kingdom of Egypt."

Belus, having carefully examined the diamonds, decided that hardly any of his provinces could equal such a valuable gift. He instructed that even more impressive presents be readied for the stranger than those intended for the three kings. "This young man," he said, "must be the son of the emperor of China; or from that part of the world known as Europe, which I've heard about; or from Africa, which is said to be near the kingdom of Egypt."

He immediately sent his first equerry to compliment the stranger, and ask him whether he was himself the sovereign, or son to the sovereign of one of those empires; and why, being possessed of such surprising treasures, he had come with nothing but his valet and a little bag?

He quickly sent his first assistant to greet the stranger and ask whether he was the ruler himself or the son of the ruler of one of those empires, and why, with such incredible treasures, he had come with nothing but his assistant and a small bag?

Whilst the equerry advanced toward the amphitheatre to execute his commission, another valet arrived upon an unicorn. This valet, addressing himself to the young man, said. "Ormar, your father is approaching the end of his life: I am come to acquaint you with it."

While the equerry walked toward the amphitheater to carry out his task, another servant arrived on a unicorn. This servant, speaking to the young man, said, "Ormar, your father is nearing the end of his life: I’ve come to inform you."

The stranger raised his eyes to heaven, whilst tears streamed from them, and answered only by saying, "Let us depart."

The stranger looked up at the sky, tears streaming down his face, and simply replied, "Let us depart."

The equerry, after having paid Belus's compliments to the conqueror of the lion, to the giver of the forty diamonds, and to the master of the beautiful bird, asked the valet, "Of what kingdom was the father of this young hero sovereign?"

The equerry, after delivering Belus's compliments to the conqueror of the lion, the giver of the forty diamonds, and the master of the beautiful bird, asked the valet, "What kingdom did the father of this young hero rule?"

The valet replied:

The valet responded:

"His father is an old shepherd, who is much beloved in his district."

"His father is an old shepherd who is very much loved in his community."

During this conversation, the stranger had already mounted his unicorn. He said to the equerry:

During this conversation, the stranger had already gotten on his unicorn. He said to the groom:

"My lord, vouchsafe to prostrate me at the feet of King Belus and his daughter. I must entreat her to take particular care of the bird I leave with her, as it is a nonpareil like herself."

"My lord, please allow me to bow down at the feet of King Belus and his daughter. I must ask her to take special care of the bird I am leaving with her, as it is one-of-a-kind just like she is."

In uttering these last words he set off, and flew like lightning. The two valets followed him, and in an instant he was out of sight.

In saying these last words, he took off and moved like lightning. The two attendants chased after him, and in an instant, he was gone.

Formosanta could not refrain from shrieking. The bird, turning toward the amphitheatre where his master had been seated, seemed greatly afflicted to find him gone; then viewing steadfastly the princess, and gently rubbing her beautiful hand with his bill, he seemed to devote himself to her service.

Formosanta couldn't help but scream. The bird, looking toward the amphitheater where his master had been sitting, appeared really upset to see him gone; then, gazing intently at the princess and softly rubbing her beautiful hand with his beak, he seemed to pledge his loyalty to her.

Belus, more astonished than ever, hearing that this very extraordinary young man was the son of a shepherd, could not believe it. He dispatched messengers after him; but they soon returned with the information, that the three unicorns, upon which these men were mounted, could not be overtaken; and that, according to the rate they went, they must go a hundred leagues a day.

Belus, more amazed than ever, hearing that this incredibly extraordinary young man was the son of a shepherd, couldn't believe it. He sent messengers after him; but they soon came back with the news that the three unicorns, which these men were riding, couldn't be caught; and that, at their speed, they must be traveling a hundred leagues a day.

Every one reasoned upon this strange adventure, and wearied themselves with conjectures. How can the son of a shepherd make a present of forty large diamonds? How comes it that he is mounted upon an unicorn? This bewildered them, and Formosanta, whilst she caressed her bird, was sunk into a profound reverie.

Everyone speculated about this strange adventure and exhausted themselves with guesses. How can the son of a shepherd give away forty big diamonds? How is he riding on a unicorn? This puzzled them, and Formosanta, while she petted her bird, was lost in deep thought.

[1] The phœnix—born of myth and fable—was supposed to have originated in Arabia. In size it resembled an eagle, and was said to exist singly. At the end of six hundred years, it built for itself a nest filled with myrrh and the choicest spices. This was ignited by the ardent rays of the sun, and in it the phœnix was consumed in flames of fragrance. It was believed, however, that it soon rose again, from its own ashes, in renewed youth, strength, and beauty; and therefore it was considered by the ancients as symbolical of "the resurrection" and also of immortality.—E.

[1] The phoenix—born from myth and legend—was thought to have originated in Arabia. It was about the size of an eagle and was said to exist as a solitary creature. After six hundred years, it built itself a nest filled with myrrh and the finest spices. This nest was set on fire by the intense rays of the sun, and in it, the phoenix was consumed in fragrant flames. However, it was believed that it soon rose again from its own ashes, renewed in youth, strength, and beauty; and thus, the ancients regarded it as a symbol of "the resurrection" and also of immortality.—E.


II.

The King of Babylon gathers his council and consults the oracle.

Princess Aldea, Formosanta's cousin-german, who was very well shaped, and almost as handsome as the King's daughter, said to her:

Princess Aldea, Formosanta's full cousin, who was very well-shaped and nearly as beautiful as the King's daughter, said to her:

"Cousin, I know not whether this demi-god be the son of a shepherd, but methinks he has fulfilled all the conditions stipulated for your marriage. He has bent Nimrod's bow; he has conquered the lion; he has a good share of sense, having written for you extempore a very pretty madrigal. After having presented you with forty large diamonds, you cannot deny that he is the most generous of men. In his bird he possessed the most curious thing upon earth. His virtue cannot be equaled, since he departed without hesitation as soon as he learned his father was ill, though he might have remained and enjoyed the pleasure of your society. The oracle is fulfilled in every particular, except that wherein he is to overcome his rivals. But he has done more; he has saved the life of the only competitor he had to fear; and when the object is to surpass the other two, I believe you cannot doubt but that he will easily succeed."

"Cousin, I’m not sure if this demi-god is the son of a shepherd, but I think he has met all the requirements for your marriage. He’s shot Nimrod's bow, defeated the lion, and he’s quite clever, having written you a lovely madrigal on the spot. After giving you forty big diamonds, you can’t deny he’s the most generous man. His bird held the most amazing thing on earth. His virtue is unmatched since he left without a second thought as soon as he heard his father was sick, even though he could have stayed and enjoyed your company. The prophecy is fulfilled in every detail, except for the part about overcoming his rivals. But he has done even more; he saved the life of the only competitor he had to worry about, and when it comes to outdoing the other two, I’m sure you have no doubt he’ll succeed easily."

"All that you say is very true," replied Formosanta: "but is it possible that the greatest of men, and perhaps the most amiable too, should be the son of a shepherd?"

"Everything you say is very true," replied Formosanta, "but how is it possible that the greatest man, and maybe the nicest too, could be the son of a shepherd?"

The lady of honor, joining in the conversation, said that the title of shepherd was frequently given to kings—that they were called shepherds because they attended very closely to their flocks—that this was doubtless a piece of ill-timed pleasantry in his valet—that this young hero had not come so badly equipped, but to show how much his personal merit alone was above the fastidious parade of kings. The princess made no answer, but in giving her bird a thousand tender kisses.

The lady of honor, joining the conversation, said that kings were often referred to as shepherds because they took great care of their people. She thought it was probably a poorly timed joke from his valet. She added that this young hero wasn't lacking in anything, but was demonstrating that his personal qualities stood out more than the showy display of kings. The princess didn’t respond, instead showering her bird with a thousand affectionate kisses.

A great festival was nevertheless prepared for the three kings, and for all the princes who had come to the feast. The king's daughter and niece were to do the honors. The king distributed presents worthy the magnificence of Babylon. Belus, during the time the repast was being served, assembled his council to discuss the marriage of the beautiful Formosanta, and this is the way he delivered himself as a great politician:

A grand festival was still arranged for the three kings and all the princes who attended the feast. The king’s daughter and niece were set to host. The king handed out gifts fitting for the splendor of Babylon. While the meal was being served, Belus gathered his council to talk about marrying the beautiful Formosanta, and this is how he spoke as a skilled politician:

"I am old: I know not what is best to do with my daughter, or upon whom to bestow her. He who deserves her is nothing but a mean shepherd. The kings of India and Egypt are cowards. The king of the Scythians would be very agreeable to me, but he has not performed any one of the conditions imposed. I will again consult the oracle. In the meantime, deliberate among you, and we will conclude agreeably to what the oracle says; for a king should follow nothing but the dictates of the immortal gods."

"I’m old: I don’t know what’s best for my daughter or who to give her to. The guy who deserves her is just a lowly shepherd. The kings of India and Egypt are cowards. The king of the Scythians would suit me, but he hasn’t met any of the requirements. I’ll consult the oracle again. In the meantime, discuss among yourselves, and we’ll come to a decision based on what the oracle says; a king should only follow the will of the immortal gods."

He then repaired to the temple: the oracle answered in few words according to custom: Thy daughter shall not be married until she hath traversed the globe. In astonishment, Belus returned to the council, and related this answer.

He then went to the temple: the oracle responded briefly as usual: Your daughter won’t be married until she travels around the world. In shock, Belus went back to the council and shared this answer.

All the ministers had a profound respect for oracles. They therefore all agreed, or at least appeared to agree, that they were the foundation of religion—that reason should be mute before them—that it was by their means that kings reigned over their people—that without oracles there would be neither virtue nor repose upon earth.

All the ministers had deep respect for oracles. So, they all agreed, or at least seemed to agree, that they were the basis of religion—that reason should be silent in their presence—that through them, kings ruled over their people—and that without oracles, there would be neither goodness nor peace on earth.

At length, after having testified the most profound veneration for them, they almost all concluded that this oracle was impertinent, and should not be obeyed—that nothing could be more indecent for a young woman, and particularly the daughter of the great king of Babylon, than to run about, without any particular destination—that this was the most certain method to prevent her being married, or else engage her in a clandestine, shameful, and ridiculous union that,—in a word, this oracle had not common sense.

At last, after showing deep respect for them, they nearly all agreed that this oracle was inappropriate and should be ignored—that nothing could be more improper for a young woman, especially the daughter of the great king of Babylon, than to wander around without any clear purpose—that this was the surest way to hinder her from getting married, or to get her involved in a secret, disgraceful, and foolish relationship that—in short, this oracle lacked common sense.

The youngest of the ministers, named Onadase, who had more sense than the rest, said that the oracle doubtless meant some pilgrimage of devotion, and offered to be the princess's guide. The council approved of his opinion, but every one was for being her equerry. The king determined that the princess might go three hundred parasangs upon the road to Arabia, to the temple whose saint had the reputation of procuring young women happy marriages, and that the dean of the council should accompany her. After this determination they went to supper.

The youngest minister, named Onadase, who was smarter than the others, suggested that the oracle probably referred to a pilgrimage of devotion and offered to be the princess's guide. The council agreed with his idea, but everyone wanted to be her escort. The king decided that the princess could travel three hundred parasangs to Arabia, to the temple known for helping young women find happy marriages, and that the dean of the council should go with her. After this decision, they went to have supper.

THE SHRINE AT BASSORA.—A devotee at the shrine imploring the felicity of a happy marriage. The shrine in Basra.—A worshiper at the shrine asking for the blessing of a happy marriage.

III.

Royal festival held in honor of the royal visitors. The bird speaks eloquently with Formosanta.

In the centre of the gardens, between two cascades, an oval saloon, three hundred feet in diameter was erected, whose azure roof, intersected with golden stars, represented all the constellations and planets, each in its proper station; and this ceiling turned about, as well as the canopy, by machines as invisible as those which direct the celestial spheres. A hundred thousand flambeaux, inclosed in rich crystal cylinders, illuminated the gardens and the dining-hall. A buffet, with steps, contained twenty thousand vases and golden dishes; and opposite the buffet, upon other steps, were seated a great number of musicians. Two other amphitheatres were decked out; the one with the fruits of each season, the other with crystal decanters, that sparkled with the choicest wines.

In the center of the gardens, between two waterfalls, an oval hall, three hundred feet in diameter, was built, with a blue ceiling adorned with golden stars that represented all the constellations and planets in their rightful places; this ceiling rotated, just like the canopy, using machines as unseen as those that control the celestial spheres. A hundred thousand torches, enclosed in elegant crystal cylinders, lit up the gardens and the dining area. A buffet with steps held twenty thousand vases and gold dishes; and opposite the buffet, on other steps, sat many musicians. Two other amphitheaters were beautifully decorated; one with the fruits of every season, and the other with crystal decanters sparkling with the finest wines.

The guests took their seats round a table divided into compartments that resembled flowers and fruits, all in precious stones. The beautiful Formosanta was placed between the kings of India and Egypt—the amiable Aldea next the king of Scythia. There were about thirty princes, and each was seated next one of the handsomest ladies of the court. The king of Babylon, who was in the middle, opposite his daughter, seemed divided between the chagrin of being yet unable to effect her marriage, and the pleasure of still beholding her. Formosanta asked leave to place her bird upon the table next her; the king approved of it.

The guests sat around a table divided into sections that looked like flowers and fruits, all made of precious stones. The beautiful Formosanta was seated between the kings of India and Egypt, while the friendly Aldea was next to the king of Scythia. There were about thirty princes, each sitting next to one of the most beautiful ladies of the court. The king of Babylon, sitting in the middle, directly across from his daughter, seemed torn between the frustration of not being able to arrange her marriage and the joy of still being able to see her. Formosanta asked if she could place her bird on the table next to her; the king agreed.

The music, which continued during the repast, furnished every prince with an opportunity of conversing with his female neighbor. The festival was as agreeable as it was magnificent. A ragout was served before Formosanta, which her father was very fond of. The princess said it should be carried to his majesty. The bird immediately took hold of it, and carried it in a miraculous manner to the king. Never was any thing more astonishing witnessed. Belus caressed it as much as his daughter had done. The bird afterward took its flight to return to her. It displayed, in flying, so fine a tail, and its extended wings set forth such a variety of brilliant colors—the gold of its plumage made such a dazzling eclat, that all eyes were fixed upon it. All the musicians were struck motionless, and their instruments afforded harmony no longer. None ate, no one spoke, nothing but a buzzing of admiration was to be heard. The Princess of Babylon kissed it during the whole supper, without considering whether there were any kings in the world. Those of India and Egypt felt their spite and indignation rekindle with double force, and they resolved speedily to set their three hundred thousand men in motion to obtain revenge.

The music, which continued during the meal, gave every prince a chance to chat with his female companion. The celebration was as enjoyable as it was grand. A ragout was served to Formosanta, which her father really liked. The princess insisted it should be taken to the king. The bird quickly grabbed it and flew it in a remarkable way to the king. Nothing more astonishing had ever been seen. Belus admired it just as much as his daughter had. The bird then took off to return to her. Its tail was incredibly beautiful in flight, and its outstretched wings showed off a stunning array of colors—the gold of its feathers shone so brightly that everyone was captivated. All the musicians stood frozen, their instruments no longer producing music. No one ate, no one spoke; all that could be heard was a hum of admiration. The Princess of Babylon kissed the bird throughout the whole dinner, without a thought of whether kings existed in the world. The kings of India and Egypt felt their jealousy and anger flare up even more, and they quickly decided to mobilize their three hundred thousand troops for revenge.

As for the king of Scythia, he was engaged in entertaining the beautiful Aldea. His haughty soul despising, without malice, Formosanta's inattention, had conceived for her more indifference than resentment. "She is handsome," said he, "I acknowledge: but she appears to me one of those women who are entirely taken up with their own beauty, and who fancy that mankind are greatly obliged to them when they deign to appear in public. I should prefer an ugly complaisant woman, that exhibited some amiability, to that beautiful statue. You have, madam, as many charms as she possesses, and you, at least, condescend to converse with strangers. I acknowledge to you with the sincerity of a Scythian, that I prefer you to your cousin."

As for the king of Scythia, he was busy entertaining the beautiful Aldea. His proud heart, without any ill will, disregarded Formosanta's lack of attention, feeling more indifferent toward her than resentful. "She is pretty," he said, "I’ll admit that: but she seems like one of those women who are completely caught up in their own looks and think the world owes them something just for showing up in public. I’d rather have an unattractive yet pleasant woman who shows some kindness than that beautiful statue. You, madam, have just as many charms as she does, and at least you’re willing to talk to strangers. I’ll be honest with you like a true Scythian, I prefer you to your cousin."

He was, however, mistaken in regard to the character of Formosanta. She was not so disdainful as she appeared. But his compliments were very well received by the princess Aldea. Their conversation became very interesting. They were well contented, and already certain of one another before they left the table. After supper the guests walked in the groves. The king of Scythia and Aldea did not fail to seek for a place of retreat. Aldea, who was sincerity itself, thus declared herself to the prince:

He was, however, wrong about Formosanta's character. She wasn't as proud as she seemed. But the princess Aldea appreciated his compliments. Their conversation became quite engaging. They felt comfortable and were already sure about each other before leaving the table. After dinner, the guests strolled through the groves. The king of Scythia and Aldea didn't hesitate to look for a secluded spot. Aldea, being completely sincere, expressed her feelings to the prince:

"I do not hate my cousin, though she be handsomer than myself, and is destined for the throne of Babylon. The honor of pleasing you may very well stand in the stead of charms. I prefer Scythia with you, to the crown of Babylon without you. But this crown belongs to me by right, if there be any right in the world; for I am of the elder branch of the Nimrod family, and Formosanta is only of the younger. Her grandfather dethroned mine, and put him to death."

"I don't hate my cousin, even though she's more beautiful than I am and is meant to take the throne of Babylon. The privilege of making you happy might just be as valuable as looks. I’d rather be in Scythia with you than have the crown of Babylon without you. But this crown is rightfully mine, if there's any fairness in the world; I'm from the older branch of the Nimrod family, while Formosanta is from the younger one. Her grandfather overthrew mine and had him killed."

"Such, then, are the rights of inheritance in the royal house of Babylon!" said the Scythian. "What was your grandfather's name?"

"These are the inheritance rights in the royal family of Babylon!" said the Scythian. "What was your grandfather's name?"

"He was called Aldea, like me. My father bore the same name. He was banished to the extremity of the empire with my mother; and Belus, after their death, having nothing to fear from me, was willing to bring me up with his daughter. But he has resolved that I shall never marry."

"He was named Aldea, just like me. My father had the same name. He was sent to the farthest part of the empire with my mother; and Belus, after they died, having no reason to be concerned about me, agreed to raise me alongside his daughter. But he has decided that I will never get married."

"I will avenge the cause of your grandfather—of your father and also your own cause," said the king of Scythia. "I am responsible for your being married. I will carry you off the day after to-morrow by day-break—for we must dine to-morrow with the king of Babylon—and I will return and support your rights with three hundred thousand men."

"I will get revenge for your grandfather, your father, and for you," said the king of Scythia. "It's my duty to ensure you get married. I will come and take you away the day after tomorrow at dawn—since we need to have dinner tomorrow with the king of Babylon—and I will come back and fight for your rights with three hundred thousand men."

"I agree to it," said the beauteous Aldea: and, after having mutually pledged their words of honor, they separated.

"I agree to it," said the beautiful Aldea; and, after they had both promised on their honor, they parted ways.

The incomparable Formosanta, before retiring to rest, had ordered a small orange tree, in a silver case, to be placed by the side of her bed, that her bird might perch upon it. Her curtains had long been drawn, but she was not in the least disposed to sleep. Her heart was agitated, and her imagination excited. The charming stranger was ever in her thoughts. She fancied she saw him shooting an arrow with Nimrod's bow. She contemplated him in the act of cutting off the lion's head. She repeated his madrigal. At length, she saw him retiring from the crowd upon his unicorn. Tears, sighs, and lamentations overwhelmed her at this reflection. At intervals, she cried out: "Shall I then never see him more? Will he never return?"

The amazing Formosanta, before settling in for the night, had ordered a small orange tree, in a silver case, to be placed by her bed so her bird could perch on it. Her curtains had been drawn for a while, but she wasn’t at all ready to sleep. Her heart was racing, and her imagination was running wild. The charming stranger was always on her mind. She imagined him shooting an arrow with Nimrod's bow. She pictured him in the moment of cutting off the lion's head. She repeated his song in her mind. Finally, she envisioned him leaving the crowd on his unicorn. Tears, sighs, and heartbreak overwhelmed her at this thought. From time to time, she cried out: "Will I never see him again? Will he never come back?"

"He will surely return," replied the bird from the top of the orange tree. "Can one have seen you once, and not desire to see you again?"

"He will definitely come back," the bird replied from the top of the orange tree. "Can someone see you once and not want to see you again?"

"Heavens! eternal powers! my bird speaks the purest Chaldean." In uttering these words she drew back the curtain, put out her hand to him, and knelt upon her bed, saying:

"Heavens! Eternal powers! My bird speaks the purest Chaldean." As she said this, she pulled back the curtain, reached out her hand to him, and knelt on her bed, saying:

"Art thou a god descended upon earth? Art thou the great Oromasdes concealed under this beautiful plumage? If thou art, restore me this charming young man."

"Are you a god come down to earth? Are you the great Oromasdes hidden beneath this beautiful disguise? If you are, please bring me back this charming young man."

"I am nothing but a winged animal," replied the bird; "but I was born at the time when all animals still spoke; when birds, serpents, asses, horses, and griffins, conversed familiarly with man. I would not speak before company, lest your ladies of honor should have taken me for a sorcerer. I would not discover myself to any but you."

"I’m just a bird with wings," the bird replied. "But I was born when all animals could still talk; when birds, snakes, donkeys, horses, and griffins chatted easily with humans. I wouldn’t speak in front of others, in case your noble ladies thought of me as a sorcerer. I didn’t want to reveal myself to anyone but you."

Formosanta was speechless, bewildered, and intoxicated with so many wonders. Desirous of putting a hundred questions to him at once, she at length asked him how old he was.

Formosanta was speechless, confused, and overwhelmed by so many wonders. Eager to ask him a hundred questions at once, she finally asked him how old he was.

"Only twenty-seven thousand nine hundred years and six months. I date my age from the little revolution of the equinoxes, and which is accomplished in about twenty-eight thousand of your years. There are revolutions of a much greater extent, so are there beings much older than me. It is twenty-two thousand years since I learnt Chaldean in one of my travels. I have always had a very great taste for the Chaldean language, but my brethren, the other animals, have renounced speaking in your climate."

"Only twenty-seven thousand nine hundred years and six months. I calculate my age based on the minor revolution of the equinoxes, which takes about twenty-eight thousand of your years to complete. There are revolutions that last much longer, and there are beings much older than me. It's been twenty-two thousand years since I learned Chaldean during one of my travels. I've always had a strong appreciation for the Chaldean language, but my fellow beings, the other animals, have stopped speaking in your environment."

"And why so, my divine bird?"

"And why is that, my beautiful bird?"

"Alas! because men have accustomed themselves to eat us, instead of conversing and instructing themselves with us. Barbarians! should they not have been convinced, that having the same organs with them, the same sentiments, the same wants, the same desires, we have also what is called a soul, the same as themselves;—that we are their brothers, and that none should be dressed and eaten but the wicked? We are so far your brothers, that the Supreme Being, the Omnipotent and Eternal Being, having made a compact with men, expressly comprehended us in the treaty. He forbade you to nourish yourselves with our blood, and we to suck yours.

"Sadly, men have gotten used to eating us instead of talking and learning from us. How barbaric! Shouldn’t they realize that since we share the same organs, feelings, needs, and desires, we also have what’s known as a soul, just like they do? We are actually their brothers, and only the wicked should be dressed and eaten. We are so much your brothers that the Supreme Being, the Omnipotent and Eternal Being, made a deal with humanity that included us. He forbade you from feasting on our blood, and us from sucking yours."

"The fables of your ancient Locman, translated into so many languages, will be a testimony eternally subsisting of the happy commerce you formerly carried on with us. They all begin with these words: 'In the time when beasts spoke.' It is true, there are many families among you who keep up an incessant conversation with their dogs; but the dogs have resolved not to answer, since they have been compelled by whipping to go a hunting, and become accomplices in the murder of our ancient and common friends, stags, deers, hares, and partridges.

"The fables of your ancient Locman, translated into so many languages, will be a lasting testament to the joyful relationship we used to have. They all start with these words: 'In the time when animals could talk.' It's true that many families among you constantly chat with their dogs; however, the dogs have chosen not to respond, as they've been forced through punishment to go hunting and have become partners in the killing of our old and shared friends, like stags, deer, hares, and partridges."

"You have still some ancient poems in which horses speak, and your coachmen daily address them in words; but in so barbarous a manner, and in uttering such infamous expressions, that horses, though formerly entertaining so great a kindness for you, now detest you.

"You still have some old poems where horses talk, and your drivers speak to them every day; but they do it in such a crude way, using such awful language, that horses, who once had a lot of affection for you, now revile you."

"The country which is the residence of your charming stranger, the most perfect of men, is the only one in which your species has continued to love ours, and to converse with us; and this is the only country in the world where men are just."

"The country where your charming stranger, the perfect man, lives is the only place where your kind has continued to love us and communicate with us; it is also the only country in the world where men are fair."

"And where is the country of my dear incognito? What is the name of his empire? For I will no more believe he is a shepherd than that you are a bat."

"And where is the land of my dear incognito? What is the name of his empire? Because I won't believe he's a shepherd any more than I believe you are a bat."

"His country, is that of the Gangarids, a wise, virtuous, and invincible people, who inhabit the eastern shore of the Ganges. The name of my friend is Amazan. He is no king; and I know not whether he would so humble himself as to be one. He has too great a love for his fellow countrymen. He is a shepherd like them. But do not imagine that those shepherds resemble yours; who, covered with rags and tatters, watch their sheep, who are better clad than themselves; who groan under the burden of poverty, and who pay to an extortioner half the miserable stipend of wages which they receive from their masters. The Gangaridian shepherds are all born equal, and own the innumerable herds which cover their vast fields and subsist on the abundant verdure. These flocks are never killed. It is a horrid crime, in that favored country, to kill and eat a fellow creature. Their wool is finer and more brilliant than the finest silk, and constitutes the greatest traffic of the East. Besides, the land of the Gangarids produces all that can flatter the desires of man. Those large diamonds that Amazan had the honor of presenting you with, are from a mine that belongs to him. An unicorn, on which you saw him mounted, is the usual animal the Gangarids ride upon. It is the finest, the proudest, most terrible, and at the same time most gentle animal that ornaments the earth. A hundred Gangarids, with as many unicorns,[1] would be sufficient to disperse innumerable armies. Two centuries ago, a king of India was mad enough to attempt to conquer this nation. He appeared, followed by ten thousand elephants and a million of warriors. The unicorns pierced the elephants, just as I have seen upon your table beads pierced in golden brochets. The warriors fell under the sabres of the Gangarids like crops of rice mowed by the people of the East. The king was taken prisoner, with upwards of six thousand men. He was bathed in the salutary water of the Ganges, and followed the regimen of the country, which consists only of vegetables, of which nature hath there been amazingly liberal to nourish every breathing creature. Men who are fed with carnivorous aliments, and drenched with spirituous liquors, have a sharp adust blood, which turns their brains a hundred different ways. Their chief rage is a fury to spill their brother's blood, and, laying waste fertile plains, to reign over church-yards. Six full months were taken up in curing the king of India of his disorder. When the physicians judged that his pulse had become natural, they certified this to the council of the Gangarids. The council then followed the advice of the unicorns and humanely sent back the king of India, his silly court, and impotent warriors, to their own country. This lesson made them wise, and from that time the Indians respected the Gangarids, as ignorant men, willing to be instructed, revere the philosophers they cannot equal.

"His country is that of the Gangarids, a wise, virtuous, and unbeatable people who live along the eastern shore of the Ganges. My friend’s name is Amazan. He’s not a king, and I’m not sure if he would lower himself to be one. He cares too deeply for his fellow countrymen. He is a shepherd like them. But don’t think that their shepherds are like yours; who, dressed in rags, watch over sheep that are better clothed than they are, burdened by poverty and giving half their meager wages to a thief. The Gangaridian shepherds are all born equal and own the countless herds that roam their vast fields, thriving on the rich grass. These flocks are never slaughtered. It’s a terrible crime in that blessed land to kill and eat a fellow creature. Their wool is finer and more beautiful than the finest silk, and it’s the main trade of the East. Besides, the land of the Gangarids produces everything that can satisfy human desires. Those large diamonds that Amazan presented to you come from a mine that belongs to him. A unicorn, which you saw him riding, is the common mount of the Gangarids. It’s the most amazing, proud, fierce, yet gentle creature that adorns the earth. A hundred Gangarids, along with as many unicorns,[1] could easily scatter countless armies. Two centuries ago, a king of India foolishly tried to conquer this nation. He came with ten thousand elephants and a million warriors. The unicorns pierced the elephants just like I’ve seen beads pierced in golden brooches on your table. The warriors fell under the swords of the Gangarids like rice being cut down by the farmers of the East. The king was captured, along with over six thousand men. He was bathed in the healing waters of the Ganges and followed the local diet, which consists solely of vegetables, abundantly provided by nature to nourish every living creature. Men who eat meat and drink strong liquors end up with heated blood that drives them to madness. Their main anger is a thirst for shedding their brother’s blood and laying waste to fertile lands to rule over graveyards. It took six full months to cure the Indian king of his illness. When the doctors decided his pulse had returned to normal, they informed the Gangarid council. The council then listened to the advice of the unicorns and compassionately sent the Indian king, his foolish court, and powerless warriors back to their own land. This experience taught them a valuable lesson, and from then on, the Indians respected the Gangarids, just as ignorant people, eager to learn, respect philosophers they cannot match."

"Apropos, my dear bird," said the princess to him, "do the Gangarids profess any religion? have they one?"

"Apropos, my dear bird," the princess said to him, "do the Gangarids follow any religion? Do they have one?"

"Yes, we meet to return thanks to God on the days of the full moon; the men in a great temple made of cedar, and the women in another, to prevent their devotion being diverted. All the birds assemble in a grove, and the quadrupeds on a fine down. We thank God for all the benefits he has bestowed upon us. We have in particular some parrots that preach wonderfully well.

"Yes, we gather to give thanks to God on the nights of the full moon; the men in a large cedar temple, and the women in a separate one, to keep their worship focused. All the birds come together in a grove, and the mammals rest on a soft patch of ground. We thank God for all the blessings He has given us. We especially have some parrots that preach really well.

"Such is the country of my dear Amazan; there I reside. My friendship for him is as great as the love with which he has inspired you. If you will credit me, we will set out together, and you shall pay him a visit."

"Such is the country of my dear Amazan; that’s where I live. My friendship for him is as strong as the love he has inspired in you. If you trust me, we’ll set out together, and you can pay him a visit."

"Really, my dear bird, this is a very pretty invitation of yours," replied the princess smiling, and who flamed with desire to undertake the journey, but did not dare say so.

"Honestly, my dear bird, this is a really lovely invitation of yours," replied the princess with a smile, feeling a strong desire to take the journey but hesitant to express it.

"I serve my friend," said the bird; "and, after the happiness of loving you, the greatest pleasure is to assist you."

"I serve my friend," said the bird; "and after the joy of loving you, the greatest pleasure is to help you."

Formosanta was quite fascinated. She fancied herself transported from earth. All she had seen that day, all she then saw, all she heard, and particularly what she felt in her heart, so ravished her as far to surpass what those fortunate Mussulmen now feel, who, disencumbered from their terrestrial ties, find themselves in the ninth heaven in the arms of their Houris, surrounded and penetrated with glory and celestial felicity.

Formosanta was truly captivated. She imagined herself taken away from Earth. Everything she had seen that day, everything she was seeing, everything she heard, and especially what she felt in her heart, overwhelmed her so much that it far exceeded what those lucky Muslims must feel, who, free from their earthly ties, find themselves in bliss in the arms of their Houris, enveloped in glory and heavenly happiness.

[1] Pliny, the Roman naturalist, describes the unicorn as "a very ferocious beast, similar in the rest of its body to a horse, with the head of a deer, the feet of an elephant, the tail of a boar, a deep bellowing voice, and a single black horn, two cubits in length, standing out in the middle of its forehead." A familiar representation of this "ferocious beast" may be seen on the English coat of arms.—E.

[1] Pliny, the Roman naturalist, describes the unicorn as "a very fierce creature, similar in body to a horse, with the head of a deer, the feet of an elephant, the tail of a boar, a deep bellowing voice, and a single black horn, two cubits long, protruding from the middle of its forehead." A recognizable depiction of this "fierce creature" can be seen on the English coat of arms.—E.


IV.

THE BEAUTIFUL BIRD IS KILLED BY THE KING OF EGYPT. FORMOSANTA STARTS A JOURNEY. ALDEA RUNS AWAY WITH THE KING OF SCYTHIA.

Formosanta passed the whole night in speaking of Amazan. She no longer called him any thing but her shepherd; and from this time it was that the names of shepherd and lover were indiscriminately used throughout every nation.

Formosanta spent the entire night talking about Amazan. She only referred to him as her shepherd, and from that point on, the terms shepherd and lover were used interchangeably in every nation.

Sometimes she asked the bird whether Amazan had had any other mistresses. It answered, "No," and she was at the summit of felicity. Sometimes she asked how he passed his life; and she, with transport, learned, that it was employed in doing good; in cultivating arts, in penetrating into the secrets of nature, and improving himself. She at times wanted to know if the soul of her lover was of the same nature as that of her bird; how it happened that it had lived twenty thousand years, when her lover was not above eighteen or nineteen. She put a hundred such questions, to which the bird replied with such discretion as excited her curiosity. At length sleep closed their eyes, and yielded up Formosanta to the sweet delusion of dreams sent by the gods, which sometimes surpass reality itself, and which all the philosophy of the Chaldeans can scarce explain.

Sometimes she asked the bird if Amazan had any other lovers. It answered, "No," and she was over the moon. Sometimes she asked how he spent his time, and she was thrilled to learn that he dedicated it to doing good, cultivating the arts, uncovering the secrets of nature, and bettering himself. She occasionally wondered if her lover's soul was similar to that of her bird; how it was possible for it to live twenty thousand years while her lover was only around eighteen or nineteen. She asked a hundred such questions, and the bird replied with such thoughtfulness that it piqued her curiosity. Eventually, sleep closed their eyes, allowing Formosanta to drift into the enchanting dreams sent by the gods, which sometimes surpass reality itself and are nearly impossible to explain, even with all the wisdom of the Chaldeans.

Formosanta did not awaken till very late. The day was far advanced when the king, her father, entered her chamber. The bird received his majesty with respectful politeness, went before him, fluttered his wings, stretched his neck, and then replaced himself upon his orange tree. The king seated himself upon his daughter's bed, whose dreams had made her still more beautiful. His large beard approached her lovely face, and after having embraced her, he spoke to her in these words:

Formosanta didn’t wake up until much later. The day was well underway when her father, the king, entered her room. The bird greeted him respectfully, flew ahead, flapped its wings, stretched its neck, and then returned to its orange tree. The king sat on his daughter’s bed, her dreams making her even more beautiful. His thick beard came close to her lovely face, and after hugging her, he said:

"My dear daughter, you could not yesterday find a husband agreeable to my wishes; you nevertheless must marry; the prosperity of my empire requires it. I have consulted the oracle, which you know never errs, and which directs all my conduct. His commands are, that you should traverse the globe. You must therefore begin your journey."

"My dear daughter, you couldn’t find a husband yesterday who meets my expectations; however, you still need to get married; it’s essential for the prosperity of my empire. I consulted the oracle, which you know never makes mistakes and guides all my actions. His directive is that you should travel the world. Therefore, you must begin your journey."

"Ah! doubtless to the Gangarids," said the princess; and in uttering these words, which escaped her, she was sensible of her indiscretion. The king, who was utterly ignorant of geography, asked her what she meant by the Gangarids? She easily diverted the question. The king told her she must go on a pilgrimage, that he had appointed the persons who were to attend her—the dean of the counsellors of state, the high almoner, a lady of honor, a physician, an apothecary, her bird, and all necessary domestics.

"Ah! probably to the Gangarids," said the princess; and as she spoke these words, she realized her mistake. The king, who knew nothing about geography, asked her what she meant by the Gangarids. She quickly changed the subject. The king told her she had to go on a pilgrimage, and he had chosen the people who would accompany her—the head of the state advisors, the chief chaplain, a lady-in-waiting, a doctor, a pharmacist, her bird, and all the necessary staff.

Formosanta, who had never been out of her father's palace, and who, till the arrival of the three kings and Amazan, had led a very insipid life, according to the etiquette of rank and the parade of pleasure, was charmed at setting out upon a pilgrimage. "Who knows," said she, whispering to her heart, "if the gods may not inspire Amazan with the like desire of going to the same chapel, and I may have the happiness of again seeing the pilgrim?" She affectionately thanked her father, saying she had always entertained a secret devotion for the saint she was going to visit.

Formosanta, who had never left her father's palace and had lived a pretty dull life until the three kings and Amazan arrived, was excited to be going on a pilgrimage. "Who knows," she thought to herself, "if the gods might inspire Amazan to want to visit the same chapel, and I could be lucky enough to see the pilgrim again?" She gratefully thanked her father, saying she had always had a hidden devotion to the saint she was about to visit.

Belus gave an excellent dinner to his guests, who were all men. They formed a very ill assorted company—kings, ministers, princes, pontiffs—all jealous of each other; all weighing their words, and equally embarassed with their neighbors and themselves. The repast was very gloomy, though they drank pretty freely. The princesses remained in their apartments, each meditating upon her respective journey. They dined at their little cover. Formosanta afterward walked in the gardens with her dear bird, which, to amuse her, flew from tree to tree, displaying his superb tail and divine plumage.

Belus hosted a lavish dinner for his guests, all of whom were men. They made for a poorly matched group—kings, ministers, princes, and pontiffs—each feeling envious of the others; all carefully choosing their words and feeling awkward around one another. The atmosphere during the meal was quite somber, even though they drank fairly liberally. The princesses stayed in their rooms, each thinking about her own journey ahead. They had their own small meal. Later, Formosanta strolled through the gardens with her beloved bird, which entertained her by flying from tree to tree, showing off its stunning tail and beautiful feathers.

The king of Egypt, who was heated with wine, not to say drunk, asked one of his pages for a bow and arrow. This prince was, in truth, the most unskillful archer in his whole kingdom. When he shot at a mark, the place of the greatest safety was generally the spot he aimed at. But the beautiful bird, flying as swiftly as the arrow, seemed to court it, and fell bleeding in the arms of Formosanta. The Egyptian, bursting into a foolish laugh, retired to his place. The princess rent the skies with her moans, melted into tears, tore her hair, and beat her breast. The dying bird said to her, in a low voice:

The king of Egypt, who was clearly tipsy, asked one of his attendants for a bow and arrow. This prince was, in fact, the worst archer in the entire kingdom. Whenever he aimed at a target, he usually hit the exact spot he was aiming for, which was often the safest place. But the beautiful bird, flying as fast as the arrow, seemed to seek it out and fell, injured, into Formosanta's arms. The Egyptian let out a silly laugh and returned to his seat. The princess cried out in grief, broke down in tears, pulled her hair, and beat her chest. The dying bird whispered to her:

"Burn me, and fail not to carry my ashes to the east of the ancient city of Aden or Eden, and expose them to the sun upon a little pile of cloves and cinnamon." After having uttered these words it expired. Formosanta was for a long time in a swoon, and revived again only to burst into sighs and groans. Her father, partaking of her grief, and imprecating the king of Egypt, did not doubt but this accident foretold some fatal event. He immediately went to consult the oracle, which replied: A mixture of everything—life and death, infidelity and constancy, loss and gain, calamities and good fortune. Neither he nor his council could comprehend any meaning in this reply; but, at length, he was satisfied with having fulfilled the duties of devotion.

"Burn me, and make sure to take my ashes to the east of the ancient city of Aden or Eden, and lay them out in the sun on a small pile of cloves and cinnamon." After saying this, she passed away. Formosanta remained unconscious for a long time, only to wake up and start sobbing and groaning. Her father, sharing in her sorrow and cursing the king of Egypt, believed this incident foretold some tragic event. He quickly sought guidance from the oracle, which responded: A mix of everything—life and death, betrayal and loyalty, loss and gain, disasters and good luck. Neither he nor his council could make sense of this response, but eventually, he felt content having carried out his religious duties.

His daughter was bathed in tears, whilst he consulted the oracle. She paid the funeral obsequies to the bird, which it had directed, and resolved to carry its remains into Arabia at the risk of her life. It was burned in incombustible flax, with the orange-tree on which it used to perch. She gathered up the ashes in a little golden vase, set with rubies, and the diamonds taken from the lion's mouth. Oh! that she could, instead of fulfilling this melancholy duty, have burned alive the detestable king of Egypt! This was her sole wish. She, in spite, put to death the two crocodiles, his two sea horses, his two zebras, his two rats, and had his two mummies thrown into the Euphrates. Had she possessed his bull Apis, she would not have spared him.

His daughter was overwhelmed with tears while he consulted the oracle. She performed the funeral rites for the bird as instructed and decided to take its remains to Arabia, risking her life in the process. It was cremated in fireproof flax along with the orange tree where it used to perch. She collected the ashes in a small golden vase decorated with rubies and diamonds taken from the lion's mouth. Oh! If only she could have set fire to the loathsome king of Egypt instead of carrying out this sorrowful task! That was her only wish. In her anger, she killed the two crocodiles, his two sea horses, his two zebras, his two rats, and had his two mummies tossed into the Euphrates. If she had his bull Apis, she wouldn't have spared it either.

The king of Egypt, enraged at this affront, set out immediately to forward his three hundred thousand men. The king of India, seeing his ally depart, set off also on the same day, with a firm intention of joining his three hundred thousand Indians to the Egyptian army, the king of Scythia decamped in the night with the princess Aldea, fully resolved to fight for her at the head of three hundred thousand Scythians, and to restore to her the inheritance of Babylon, which was her right, as she had descended from the elder branch of the Nimrod family.

The king of Egypt, furious at this insult, immediately set out with his three hundred thousand troops. The king of India, seeing his ally leave, also departed that same day, determined to bring his three hundred thousand Indian soldiers to join the Egyptian army. Meanwhile, the king of Scythia stealthily left at night with Princess Aldea, fully committed to fighting for her with three hundred thousand Scythians, aiming to restore her rightful inheritance of Babylon, since she was a descendant of the elder branch of the Nimrod family.

As for the beautiful Formosanta, she set out at three in the morning with her caravan of pilgrims, flattering herself that she might go into Arabia, and execute the last will of her bird; and that the justice of the gods would restore her the dear Amazan, without whom life had become insupportable.

As for the beautiful Formosanta, she left at three in the morning with her group of pilgrims, convinced that she could travel to Arabia and fulfill her bird's last wish; and that the gods' justice would bring her back her beloved Amazan, without whom life had become unbearable.

When the king of Babylon awoke, he found all the company gone.

When the king of Babylon woke up, he noticed that everyone was gone.

"How mighty festivals terminate," said he; "and what a surprising vacuum they leave when the hurry is over."

"How powerful festivals come to an end," he said; "and what a surprising emptiness they leave once the rush is done."

But he was transported with a rage truly royal, when he found that the princess Aldea had been carried off. He ordered all his ministers to be called up, and the council to be convened. Whilst they were dressing, he failed not to consult the oracle; but the only answer he could obtain was in these words, so celebrated since throughout the universe: When girls are not provided for in marriage by their relatives, they marry themselves.

But he was filled with a royal rage when he discovered that Princess Aldea had been abducted. He had all his ministers summoned and the council convened. While they were getting ready, he made sure to consult the oracle; however, the only answer he received was this famous saying that has been known throughout the world: When girls are not provided for in marriage by their relatives, they marry themselves.

Orders were immediately issued to march three hundred thousand men against the king of Scythia. Thus was the torch of a most dreadful war lighted up, which was caused by the amusements of the finest festival ever given upon earth. Asia was upon the point of being over-run by four armies of three hundred thousand men each. It is plain that the war of Troy, which astonished the world some ages after, was mere child's play in comparison to this; but it should also be considered, that in the Trojans quarrel, the object was nothing more than a very immoral old woman, who had contrived to be twice run away with; whereas, in this case, the cause was tripartite—two girls and a bird.

Orders were quickly given to send three hundred thousand soldiers against the king of Scythia. This ignited the spark of a terrible war, triggered by the celebrations of the greatest festival ever held on earth. Asia was about to be overrun by four armies of three hundred thousand men each. It's clear that the war of Troy, which amazed the world many years later, was child's play compared to this; but we should also note that in the Trojans' conflict, the issue was nothing more than a very immoral old woman who had managed to be abducted twice; whereas in this situation, the cause was threefold—two girls and a bird.

The king of India went to meet his army upon the large fine road which then led straight to Babylon, at Cachemir. The king of Scythia flew with Aldea by the fine road which led to Mount Imaus. Owing to bad government, all these fine roads have disappeared in the lapse of time. The king of Egypt had marched to the west, along the coast of the little Mediterranean sea, which the ignorant Hebrews have since called the Great Sea.

The king of India set out to meet his army on the grand road that led directly to Babylon, at Cachemir. The king of Scythia traveled with Aldea along the beautiful road that went to Mount Imaus. Due to poor leadership, all of these grand roads have vanished over time. The king of Egypt had marched west, along the coast of the small Mediterranean Sea, which the uninformed Hebrews have since referred to as the Great Sea.

Consulting the oracle. Consulting the oracle.

As to the charming Formosanta, she pursued the road to Bassora, planted with lofty palm trees, which furnished a perpetual shade, and fruit at all seasons. The temple in which she was to perform her devotions, was in Bassora itself. The saint to whom this temple had been dedicated, was somewhat in the style of him who was afterward adored at Lampsacus, and was generally successful in procuring husbands for young ladies. Indeed, he was the holiest saint in all Asia.

As for the lovely Formosanta, she took the road to Bassora, lined with tall palm trees that provided constant shade and fruit all year round. The temple where she was going to pray was located right in Bassora. The saint honored in this temple resembled the one who was later worshiped in Lampsacus, and he was well-known for helping young women find husbands. In fact, he was considered the holiest saint in all of Asia.

Formosanta had no sort of inclination for the saint of Bassora. She only invoked her dear Gangaridian shepherd, her charming Amazan. She proposed embarking at Bassora, and landing in Arabia Felix, to perform what her deceased bird had commanded.

Formosanta had no interest in the saint of Bassora. She only called on her beloved Gangaridian shepherd, her charming Amazan. She suggested setting out from Bassora and landing in Arabia Felix to carry out what her departed bird had instructed.

At the third stage, scarce had she entered into a fine inn, where her harbingers had made all the necessary preparations for her, when she learned that the king of Egypt had arrived there also. Informed by his emissaries of the princess's route, he immediately altered his course, followed by a numerous escort. Having alighted, he placed sentinels at all the doors; then repaired to the beautiful Formosanta's apartment, when he addressed her by saying:

At the third stage, she had barely entered a nice inn, where her attendants had set everything up for her, when she discovered that the king of Egypt had also arrived there. Alerted by his messengers about the princess's path, he quickly changed his route, accompanied by a large entourage. After disembarking, he stationed guards at all the doors, then went to the lovely Formosanta's room and said to her:

"Miss, you are the lady I was in quest of. You paid me very little attention when I was at Babylon. It is just to punish scornful capricious women. You will, if you please, be kind enough to sup with me to-night; and I shall behave to you according as I am satisfied with you."

"Miss, you’re the woman I've been looking for. You barely noticed me when I was in Babylon. This is just to teach a lesson to dismissive and unpredictable women. If you don't mind, would you be kind enough to join me for dinner tonight? I’ll treat you based on how I feel about you."

Formosanta saw very well that she was not the strongest. She judged that good sense consisted in knowing how to conform to one's situation. She resolved to get rid of the king of Egypt by an innocent stratagem. She looked at him through the corners of her eyes, (which in after ages has been called ogling,) and then she spoke to him, with a modesty, grace, and sweetness, a confusion, and a thousand other charms, which would have made the wisest man a fool, and deceived the most discerning:

Formosanta clearly realized that she was not the strongest. She decided that being smart meant knowing how to adapt to her situation. She planned to get rid of the king of Egypt using an innocent trick. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, (which later came to be known as ogling), and then she spoke to him with modesty, grace, sweetness, shyness, and a million other charms that could have made the wisest man act foolish and fooled even the most perceptive.

"I acknowledge, sir, I always appeared with a downcast look, when you did the king, my father, the honor of visiting him. I had some apprehensions for my heart. I dreaded my too great simplicity. I trembled lest my father and your rivals should observe the preference I gave you, and which you so highly deserved. I can now declare my sentiments. I swear by the bull Apis, which after you is the thing I respect the most in the world, that your proposals have enchanted me. I have already supped with you at my father's, and I will sup with you again, without his being of the party. All that I request of you is, that your high almoner should drink with us. He appeared to me at Babylon to be an excellent guest. I have some Chiras wine remarkably good. I will make you both taste it. I consider you as the greatest of kings, and the most amiable of men."

"I admit, sir, I always seemed downcast when you honored my father, the king, with your visits. I had some worries in my heart. I feared I was too straightforward. I was anxious that my father and your rivals might notice how much I favored you, which you absolutely deserve. I can now express my feelings. I swear by the bull Apis, which is the next thing I respect most after you, that your proposals have captivated me. I have already had dinner with you at my father's, and I want to have dinner with you again, without him being there. All I ask is that your chief almoner joins us for drinks. He seemed to be a great guest when I saw him in Babylon. I have some excellent Chiras wine, and I’ll let you both taste it. I consider you the greatest of kings and the most charming of men."

This discourse turned the king of Egypt's head. He agreed to have the almoner's company.

This conversation captivated the king of Egypt. He agreed to have the almoner's company.

"I have another favor to ask of you," said the princess, "which is to allow me to speak to my apothecary. Women have always some little ails that require attention, such as vapors in the head, palpitations of the heart, colics, and the like, which often require some assistance. In a word, I at present stand in need of my apothecary, and I hope you will not refuse me this slight testimony of confidence."

"I have another favor to ask you," said the princess, "which is to let me talk to my apothecary. Women often have little issues that need attention, like headaches, heart palpitations, cramps, and such, which usually need some help. In short, I really need my apothecary right now, and I hope you won’t deny me this small sign of trust."

"Miss," replied the king of Egypt, "I know life too well to refuse you so just a demand. I will order the apothecary to attend you whilst supper is preparing. I imagine you must be somewhat fatigued by the journey; you will also have occasion for a chambermaid; you may order her you like best to attend you. I will afterward wait your commands and convenience."

"Miss," said the king of Egypt, "I understand life too well to decline such a simple request. I’ll have the apothecary come to see you while dinner is being made. I assume you must be a bit tired from your journey; you’ll also need a chambermaid, so you can choose whomever you prefer to assist you. I’ll wait for your instructions and convenience afterward."

He then retired, and the apothecary and the chambermaid, named Irla, entered. The princess had an entire confidence in her. She ordered her to bring six bottles of Chiras wine for supper, and to make all the sentinels, who had her officers under arrest, drink the same. Then she recommended her apothecary to infuse in all the bottles certain pharmaceutic drugs, which make those who take them sleep twenty-four hours, and with which he was always provided. She was implicitly obeyed. The king returned with his high almoner in about half an hour's time. The conversation at supper was very gay. The king and the priest emptied the six bottles, and acknowledged there was not such good wine in Egypt. The chambermaid was attentive to make the servants in waiting drink. As for the princess, she took great care not to drink any herself, saying that she was ordered by her physician a particular regimen. They were all presently asleep.

He then stepped back, and the apothecary and the chambermaid, named Irla, walked in. The princess completely trusted her. She instructed her to bring six bottles of Chiras wine for supper and to have all the sentinels, who had her officers detained, drink the same. Then she advised her apothecary to mix certain sleeping drugs into all the bottles, which would make anyone who took them sleep for twenty-four hours, and he always had them on hand. She was followed without question. The king came back with his high almoner in about thirty minutes. The conversation during supper was very lively. The king and the priest finished off the six bottles and acknowledged that there was no wine like it in Egypt. The chambermaid made sure the waiting servants drank as well. As for the princess, she made sure not to drink any herself, claiming that her doctor had prescribed her a specific regimen. They all quickly fell asleep.

The king of Egypt's almoner had one of the finest beards that a man of his rank could wear. Formosanta lopped it off very skillfully; then sewing it to a ribbon, she put it on her own chin. She then dressed herself in the priest's robes, and decked herself in all the marks of his dignity, and her waiting maid clad herself like the sacristan of the goddess Isis. At length, having furnished herself with his urn and jewels, she set out from the inn amidst the sentinels, who were asleep like their master. Her attendant had taken care to have two horses ready at the door. The princess could not take with her any of the officers of her train. They would have been stopped by the great guard.

The king of Egypt's steward had one of the best beards a man of his status could have. Formosanta skillfully chopped it off; then she sewed it onto a ribbon and attached it to her own chin. She dressed in the priest's robes and adorned herself with all the symbols of his authority, while her maid dressed up like the sacristan of the goddess Isis. Finally, after gathering his urn and jewels, she left the inn amidst the sentinels, who were all asleep like their master. Her attendant had arranged for two horses to be ready at the door. The princess couldn't bring any of her officers with her; they would have been stopped by the main guard.

Formosanta and Irla passed through several ranks of soldiers, who, taking the princess for the high priest, called her, "My most Reverend Father in God," and asked his blessing. The two fugitives arrived in twenty-four hours at Bassora, before the king awoke. They then threw off their disguise, which might have created some suspicion. They fitted out with all possible expedition a ship, which carried them, by the Straits of Ormus, to the beautiful banks of Eden in Arabia Felix. This was that Eden, whose gardens were so famous, that they have since been the residence of the best of mankind. They were the model of the Elysian fields, the gardens of the Hesperides, and also those of the Fortunate Islands. In those warm climates men imagined there could be no greater felicity than shades and murmuring brooks. To live eternally in heaven with the Supreme Being, or to walk in the garden of paradise, was the same thing to those who incessantly spoke without understanding one another, and who could scarce have any distinct ideas or just expressions.

Formosanta and Irla passed through several lines of soldiers, who, thinking the princess was the high priest, called her, "My most Reverend Father in God," and asked for his blessing. The two escapees reached Bassora in twenty-four hours, just before the king woke up. They then removed their disguises, which could have raised some suspicion. They quickly outfitted a ship that took them, through the Straits of Ormus, to the beautiful shores of Eden in Arabia Felix. This was the Eden known for its famous gardens, which have since been home to the best of humanity. They served as the inspiration for the Elysian fields, the gardens of the Hesperides, and the Fortunate Islands. In those warm climates, people imagined that there could be no greater happiness than shade and the sound of flowing streams. Living forever in heaven with the Supreme Being or walking in the garden of paradise was viewed as the same thing by those who constantly spoke without truly understanding each other and who could hardly form clear ideas or accurate expressions.

As soon as the princess found herself in this land, her first care was to pay her dear bird the funeral obsequies he had required of her. Her beautiful hands prepared a small quantity of cloves and cinnamon. What was her surprise, when, having spread the ashes of the bird upon this funeral pyre, she saw it blaze of itself! All was presently consumed. In the place of the ashes there appeared nothing but a large egg, from whence she saw her bird issue more brilliant than ever. This was one of the most happy moments the princess had ever experienced in her whole life. There was but another that could ever be dearer to her; it was the object of her wishes, but almost beyond her hopes.

As soon as the princess arrived in this land, her first priority was to give her beloved bird the proper funeral it deserved. With her beautiful hands, she gathered a small amount of cloves and cinnamon. To her surprise, after spreading the bird's ashes on the funeral pyre, it suddenly ignited on its own! Everything was quickly consumed. Where the ashes had been, a large egg appeared, and from it emerged her bird, more radiant than ever. This was one of the happiest moments the princess had ever experienced in her life. There was only one other moment that could ever mean more to her; it was the object of her wishes, though it seemed almost out of reach.

"I plainly see," said she, to the bird, "you are the phœnix which I have heard so much spoken of. I am almost ready to expire with joy and astonishment. I did not believe in your resurrection; but it is my good fortune to be convinced of it."

"I can see clearly," she said to the bird, "you are the phoenix I've heard so much about. I'm almost ready to burst with joy and amazement. I didn't believe in your resurrection, but I'm fortunate enough to be convinced of it."

"Resurrection, in fact," said the phœnix to her, "is one of the most simple things in the world. There is nothing more in being born twice than once. Every thing in this world is the effect of resurrection. Caterpillars are regenerated into butterflies; a kernel put into the earth is regenerated into a tree. All animals buried in the earth regenerate into vegetation, herbs, and plants, and nourish other animals, of which they speedily compose part of the substance. All particles which compose bodies are transformed into different beings. It is true, that I am the only one to whom Oromasdes[1] has granted the favor of regenerating in my own form."

"Resurrection, in fact," said the phoenix to her, "is one of the simplest things in the world. There’s nothing to being born twice that’s any different from being born once. Everything in this world is the result of resurrection. Caterpillars turn into butterflies; a seed planted in the ground grows into a tree. All animals buried in the earth turn into vegetation, herbs, and plants, which then nourish other animals, of which they soon become a part. All the particles that make up bodies transform into different beings. It’s true that I am the only one to whom Oromasdes[1] has granted the privilege of regenerating in my own form."

Formosanta, who from the moment she first saw Amazan and the phœnix, had passed all her time in a round of astonishment, said to him:

Formosanta, who from the moment she first saw Amazan and the phoenix, had spent all her time in a state of amazement, said to him:

"I can easily conceive that the Supreme Being may form out of your ashes a phœnix nearly resembling yourself; but that you should be precisely the same person, that you should have the same soul, is a thing, I acknowledge, I cannot very clearly comprehend. What became of your soul when I carried you in my pocket after your death?"

"I can easily imagine that the Supreme Being could create a phoenix from your ashes that looks a lot like you; but that you would be exactly the same person, that you would have the same soul, is something I admit I can't fully understand. What happened to your soul when I carried you in my pocket after you died?"

"Reflect one moment! Is it not as easy for the great Oromasdes to continue action upon a single atom of my being, as to begin afresh this action? He had before granted me sensation, memory, and thought. He grants them to me again. Whether he united this favor to an atom of elementary fire, latent within me, or to the assemblage of my organs, is, in reality, of no consequence. Men, as well as phœnixes, are entirely ignorant how things come to pass, but the greatest favor the Supreme Being has bestowed upon me, is to regenerate me for you. Oh! that I may pass the twenty-eight thousand years which I have still to live before my next resurrection, with you and my dear Amazan."

"Think for a moment! Isn’t it just as easy for the great Oromasdes to keep acting on a single part of my being as it is to start that action anew? He has already given me sensation, memory, and thought. He gives them to me once more. Whether he connects this gift to a tiny spark of fire within me or to the collection of my organs doesn’t really matter. People, like phœnixes, have no idea how things happen, but the greatest gift the Supreme Being has given me is to bring me back to life for you. Oh! I hope I can spend the twenty-eight thousand years I have left before my next resurrection with you and my dear Amazan."

"My dear phœnix, remember what you first told me at Babylon, which I shall never forget, and which flattered me with the hope of again seeing my dear shepherd, whom I idolize; 'we must absolutely pay the Gangarids a visit together,' and I must carry Amazan back with me to Babylon."

"My dear phoenix, remember what you first told me in Babylon, which I'll never forget and which gave me hope of seeing my beloved shepherd again, whom I idolize; 'we absolutely have to visit the Gangarids together,' and I need to bring Amazan back with me to Babylon."

"This is precisely my design," said the phœnix. "There is not a moment to lose. We must go in search of Amazan by the shortest road, that is, through the air. There are in Arabia Felix two griffins,[2] who are my particular friends, and who live only a hundred and fifty thousand leagues from here. I am going to write to them by the pigeon post, and they will be here before night. We shall have time to make you a convenient palankeen, with drawers, in which you may place your provisions. You will be quite at your ease in this vehicle, with your maid. These two griffins are the most vigorous of their kind. Each of them will support one of the poles of the canopy between their claws. But, once for all, time is very precious."

"This is exactly my plan," said the phoenix. "There's no time to waste. We need to go find Amazan by the fastest route, which is through the air. There are two griffins in Arabia Felix,[2] who are my good friends, and they live only a hundred and fifty thousand leagues from here. I'm going to send them a message using the pigeon post, and they’ll be here before nightfall. We’ll have time to make you a comfortable palankeen, with compartments for your supplies. You’ll be very comfortable in this vehicle, along with your maid. These two griffins are the strongest of their kind. Each of them will carry one of the poles of the canopy with their claws. But remember, time is really important."

He instantly went with Formosanta to order the carriage at an upholsterer's of his acquaintance. It was made complete in four hours. In the drawers were placed small fine loaves, biscuits superior to those of Babylon, large lemons, pine-apples, cocoa, and pistachio nuts, Eden wine, which is as superior to that of Chiras, as Chiras is to that of Surinam.

He immediately went with Formosanta to request the carriage from an upholsterer he knew. It was finished in four hours. In the compartments were small, fine loaves, biscuits better than those from Babylon, large lemons, pineapples, cocoa, and pistachio nuts, and Eden wine, which is far better than that of Chiras, just as Chiras is better than that of Surinam.

The two griffins arrived at Eden at the appointed time. The vehicle was as light as it was commodious and solid, and Formosanta and Irla placed themselves in it. The two griffins carried it off like a feather. The phœnix sometimes flew after it, and sometimes perched upon its roof. The two griffins winged their way toward the Ganges with the velocity of an arrow which rends the air. They never stopped but a moment at night for the travelers to take some refreshment, and the carriers to take a draught of water.

The two griffins arrived at Eden right on schedule. The vehicle was both lightweight and spacious, and Formosanta and Irla got inside. The two griffins lifted it effortlessly. The phoenix sometimes flew after them and sometimes rested on the roof. The two griffins soared toward the Ganges as fast as an arrow slicing through the air. They only paused for a moment at night for the travelers to grab a bite and for the carriers to drink some water.

They at length reached the country of the Gangarids. The princess's heart palpitated with hope, love, and joy. The phœnix stopped the vehicle before Amazan's house; but Amazan had been absent from home three hours, without any one knowing whither he had gone.

They finally arrived in the land of the Gangarids. The princess's heart raced with hope, love, and happiness. The phoenix halted the vehicle in front of Amazan's house; however, Amazan had been away for three hours, and no one knew where he had gone.

There are no words, even in the Gangaridian language, that could express Formosanta's extreme despair.

There are no words, not even in the Gangaridian language, that could capture Formosanta's profound despair.

"Alas! this is what I dreaded," said the phœnix: "the three hours which you passed at the inn, upon the road to Bassora, with that wretched king of Egypt, have perhaps been at the price of the happiness of your whole life. I very much fear we have lost Amazan, without the possibility of recovering him."

"Unfortunately, this is what I feared," said the phoenix. "The three hours you spent at the inn on the way to Bassora with that miserable king of Egypt may have cost you the happiness of your entire life. I really worry that we've lost Amazan, with no chance of getting him back."

He then asked the servants if he could salute the mother of Amazan? They answered, that her husband had died only two days before, and she could speak to no one. The phœnix, who was not without influence in the house, introduced the princess of Babylon into a saloon, the walls of which were covered with orange-tree wood inlaid with ivory. The inferior shepherds and shepherdesses, who were dressed in long white garments, with gold colored trimmings, served up, in a hundred plain porcelain baskets, a hundred various delicacies, amongst which no disguised carcasses were to be seen. They consisted of rice, sago, vermicelli, macaroni, omelets, milk, eggs, cream, cheese, pastry of every kind, vegetables, fruits, peculiarly fragrant and grateful to the taste, of which no idea can be formed in other climates; and they were accompanied with a profusion of refreshing liquors superior to the finest wine.

He then asked the servants if he could greet Amazan's mother. They replied that her husband had passed away just two days ago, and she wasn’t able to speak to anyone. The phoenix, who had some sway in the house, led the princess of Babylon into a room with walls made of orange tree wood inlaid with ivory. The lower-ranking shepherds and shepherdesses, dressed in long white outfits with gold trim, served up a hundred different dishes in plain porcelain baskets, none of which featured any disguised meats. The dishes included rice, sago, vermicelli, macaroni, omelets, milk, eggs, cream, cheese, all kinds of pastries, vegetables, fruits that were uniquely fragrant and delicious, things you can't find in other climates; and all of it was accompanied by a variety of refreshing drinks better than the finest wine.

Whilst the princess regaled herself, seated upon a bed of roses, four peacocks, who were luckily mute, fanned her with their brilliant wings; two hundred birds, one hundred shepherds and shepherdesses, warbled a concert in two different choirs; the nightingales, thistlefinches, linnets, chaffinches, sung the higher notes with the shepherdesses, and the shepherds sung the tenor and bass. The princess acknowledged, that if there was more magnificence at Babylon, nature was infinitely more agreeable among the Gangarids; but whilst this consolatory and voluptuous music was playing, tears flowed from her eyes, whilst she said to the damsel Irla:

While the princess enjoyed herself, sitting on a bed of roses, four peacocks, thankfully silent, fanned her with their vibrant wings; two hundred birds, along with one hundred shepherds and shepherdesses, sang in two different choirs. The nightingales, thistle finches, linnets, and chaffinches hit the high notes with the shepherdesses, while the shepherds provided the tenor and bass. The princess admitted that while Babylon might have more grandeur, nature was far more pleasant among the Gangarids; yet, despite the soothing and luxurious music playing, tears streamed down her face as she said to the maiden Irla:

"These shepherds and shepherdesses, these nightingales, these linnets, are making love; and for my part, I am deprived of the company of the Gangaridian hero, the worthy object of my most tender thoughts."

"These shepherds and shepherdesses, these nightingales, these linnets, are in love; and as for me, I'm missing the company of the Gangaridian hero, the one who fills my mind with the sweetest thoughts."

Whilst she was taking this collation, her tears and admiration kept pace with each other, and the phœnix addressed himself to Amazan's mother, saying:

While she was having this snack, her tears and admiration matched each other, and the phoenix spoke to Amazan's mother, saying:

"Madam, you cannot avoid seeing the princess of Babylon; you know—"

"Ma'am, you can't avoid seeing the princess of Babylon; you know—"

"I know every thing," said she, "even her adventure at the inn, upon the road to Bassora. A blackbird related the whole to me this morning; and this cruel blackbird is the cause of my son's going mad, and leaving his paternal abode."

"I know everything," she said, "even her adventure at the inn on the way to Bassora. A blackbird told me all about it this morning; and this cruel blackbird is the reason my son has gone mad and left his family home."

"You have not been informed, then, that the princess regenerated me?"

"You haven't been told that the princess brought me back to life?"

"No, my dear child, the blackbird told me you were dead, and this made me inconsolable. I was so afflicted at this loss, the death of my husband, and the precipitate flight of my son, that I ordered my door to be shut to every one. But since the princess of Babylon has done me the honor of paying me a visit, I beg she may be immediately introduced. I have matters of great importance to acquaint her with, and I choose you should be present."

"No, my dear child, the blackbird told me you were dead, and this made me heartbroken. I was so devastated by this loss, the death of my husband, and my son's sudden departure, that I ordered my door to be shut to everyone. But since the princess of Babylon has honored me with a visit, I ask that she be introduced right away. I have very important matters to discuss with her, and I want you to be present."

She then went to meet the princess in another saloon. She could not walk very well. This lady was about three hundred years old; but she had still some agreeable vestiges of beauty. It might be conjectured, that about her two hundred and fortieth, or two hundred and fiftieth year, she must have been a most charming woman. She received Formosanta with a respectful nobleness, blended with an air of interest and sorrow, which made a very lively impression upon the princess.

She then went to meet the princess in another room. She could hardly walk. This woman was about three hundred years old, but she still had some pleasant traces of beauty. One could guess that around her two hundred fortieth or two hundred fiftieth year, she must have been a truly charming woman. She welcomed Formosanta with a noble respect, mixed with an air of interest and sadness, which left a strong impression on the princess.

Formosanta immediately paid her the compliments of condolence upon her husband's death.

Formosanta immediately offered her condolences after her husband's death.

"Alas!" said the widow, "you have more reason to lament his death than you imagine."

"Unfortunately!" said the widow, "you have more reason to mourn his death than you realize."

"I am, doubtless, greatly afflicted," said Formosanta; "he was father to—." Here a flood of tears prevented her from going on. "For his sake only I undertook this journey, in which I have so narrowly escaped many dangers. For him I left my father, and the most splendid court in the universe. I was detained by a King of Egypt, whom I detest. Having escaped from this tyrant, I have traversed the air in search of the only man I love. When I arrive, he flies from me!" Here sighs and tears stopped her impassioned harangue.

"I am definitely very upset," said Formosanta; "he was the father of—." Here, she was overwhelmed with tears and couldn’t continue. "For his sake alone, I took this journey, through which I've barely escaped many dangers. For him, I left my father and the most wonderful court in the world. I was held up by a King of Egypt, whom I loathe. After escaping from this tyrant, I've traveled through the air in search of the only man I love. And when I finally arrive, he runs away from me!" Her sighs and tears interrupted her heartfelt speech.

His mother then said to her:

His mother then said to her:

"When the king of Egypt made you his prisoner,—when you supped with him at an inn upon the road to Bassora,—when your beautiful hands filled him bumpers of Chiras wine, did you observe a blackbird that flew about the room?"

"When the king of Egypt took you prisoner,—when you had dinner with him at an inn on the way to Bassora,—when your beautiful hands poured him glasses of Chiras wine, did you notice a blackbird flying around the room?"

"Yes, really," said the princess, "I now recollect there was such a bird, though at that time I did not pay it the least attention. But in collecting my ideas, I now remember well, that at the instant when the king of Egypt rose from the table to give me a kiss, the blackbird flew out at the window giving a loud cry, and never appeared after."

"Yes, really," said the princess, "I remember there was a bird like that, even though I didn’t pay any attention to it back then. But as I gather my thoughts, I clearly recall that just as the king of Egypt got up from the table to kiss me, the blackbird flew out of the window with a loud cry and never came back."

"Alas! madam," resumed Amazan's mother, "this is precisely the cause of all our misfortunes; my son had dispatched this blackbird to gain intelligence of your health, and all that passed at Babylon. He proposed speedily to return, throw himself at your feet, and consecrate to you the remainder of his life. You know not to what a pitch he adores you. All the Gangarids are both loving and faithful; but my son is the most passionate and constant of them all. The blackbird found you at an inn, drinking very cheerfully with the king of Egypt and a vile priest; he afterward saw you give this monarch who had killed the phœnix,—the man my son holds in utter detestation,—a fond embrace. The blackbird, at the sight of this, was seized with a just indignation. He flew away imprecating your fatal error. He returned this day, and has related every thing. But, just heaven, at what a juncture! At the very time that my son was deploring with me the loss of his father and that of the wise phœnix, the very instant I had informed him that he was your cousin german—"

"Unfortunately, ma'am," continued Amazan's mother, "this is exactly the reason for all our troubles; my son had sent this blackbird to check on your health and everything happening in Babylon. He intended to return soon, throw himself at your feet, and dedicate the rest of his life to you. You have no idea how deeply he adores you. All the Gangarids are loving and loyal, but my son is the most passionate and devoted of them all. The blackbird found you at an inn, happily drinking with the king of Egypt and a terrible priest; he then saw you give this monarch, who killed the phoenix—the man my son utterly detests—a warm embrace. At the sight of this, the blackbird was filled with rightful anger. He flew away cursing your grave mistake. He returned today and shared everything. But, dear heavens, what terrible timing! Just as my son was grieving with me over the loss of his father and the wise phoenix, at the moment I had told him that he is your cousin..."

"Oh heavens! my cousin, madam, is it possible? How can this be? And am I so happy as to be thus allied to him, and yet so miserable as to have offended him?"

"Oh my goodness! Is it really true, cousin? How can this be? Am I really so lucky to be connected to him, and yet so unhappy to have upset him?"

"My son is, I tell you," said the Gangaridian lady, "your cousin, and I shall presently convince you of it; but in becoming my relation, you rob me of my son. He cannot survive the grief that the embrace you gave to the king of Egypt has occasioned him."

"My son is, I tell you," said the Gangaridian lady, "your cousin, and I will prove it to you shortly; but by becoming my relative, you are taking away my son. He won't be able to handle the sorrow that the embrace you gave to the king of Egypt has caused him."

"Ah! my dear aunt," cried the beautiful Formosanta, "I swear by him and the all-powerful Oromasdes, that this embrace, so far from being criminal, was the strongest proof of love your son could receive from me. I disobeyed my father for his sake. For him I went from the Euphrates to the Ganges. Having fallen into the hands of the worthless Pharaoh of Egypt, I could not escape his clutches but by artifice. I call the ashes and soul of the phœnix, which were then in my pocket, to witness. He can do me justice. But how can your son, born upon the banks of the Ganges, be my cousin? I, whose family have reigned upon the banks of the Euphrates for so many centuries?"

"Ah! my dear aunt," exclaimed the beautiful Formosanta, "I swear by him and the all-powerful Oromasdes that this embrace, far from being wrong, was the strongest proof of love your son could receive from me. I disobeyed my father for him. For him, I traveled from the Euphrates to the Ganges. After falling into the hands of the worthless Pharaoh of Egypt, I could only escape his grasp by using trickery. I call upon the ashes and soul of the phoenix, which were then in my pocket, to bear witness. He can give me justice. But how can your son, born by the Ganges, be my cousin? I, whose family has ruled along the Euphrates for so many centuries?"

"You know," said the venerable Gangaridian lady to her, "that your grand uncle, Aldea, was king of Babylon, and that he was dethroned by Belus's father?"

"You know," said the elderly Gangaridian woman to her, "that your great-uncle, Aldea, was the king of Babylon, and that he was overthrown by Belus's father?"

"Yes, madam."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You know that this Aldea had in marriage a daughter named Aldea, brought up in your court? It was this prince, who, being persecuted by your father, took refuge under another name in our happy country. He married me, and is the father of the young prince Aldea Amazan, the most beautiful, the most courageous, the strongest, and most virtuous of mortals; and at this hour the most unhappy. He went to the Babylonian festival upon the credit of your beauty; since that time he idolizes you, and now grieves because he believes that you have proved unfaithful to him. Perhaps I shall never again set eyes upon my dear son."

"You know that this Aldea was married to a daughter named Aldea, raised in your court? It was this prince who, being hunted by your father, took refuge under another name in our happy country. He married me and is the father of young prince Aldea Amazan, the most beautiful, the most courageous, the strongest, and the most virtuous of mortals; and right now, the most unhappy. He went to the Babylonian festival based on your beauty; since then, he has been infatuated with you, and now he’s heartbroken because he thinks you've been unfaithful to him. I may never get to see my dear son again."

She then displayed to the princess all the titles of the house of Aldea. Formosanta scarce deigned to look at them.

She then showed the princess all the titles of the house of Aldea. Formosanta hardly bothered to look at them.

"Ah! madam, do we examine what is the object of our desire? My heart sufficiently believes you. But where is Aldea Amazan? Where is my kinsman, my lover, my king? Where is my life? What road has he taken? I will seek for him in every sphere the Eternal Being hath framed, and of which he is the greatest ornament. I will go into the star Canope, into Sheath, into Aldebaran; I will go and tell him of my love and convince him of my innocence."

"Ah! Madam, should we consider what we truly desire? My heart completely trusts you. But where is Aldea Amazan? Where is my relative, my love, my king? Where is my life? Which path has he chosen? I will search for him in every realm that the Eternal Being has created, and of which he is the greatest adornment. I will go to the star Canopus, to Sheath, to Aldebaran; I will go and express my love to him and prove my innocence."

The phœnix justified the princess with regard to the crime that was imputed to her by the blackbird, of fondly embracing the king of Egypt; but it was necessary to undeceive Amazan and recall him. Birds were dispatched on every side. Unicorns sent forward in every direction. News at length arrived that Amazan had taken the road toward China.

The phoenix cleared the princess of the accusation made against her by the blackbird for lovingly embracing the king of Egypt; however, it was essential to set Amazan straight and bring him back. Birds were sent out in every direction. Unicorns were also dispatched everywhere. Eventually, news came that Amazan had headed toward China.

"Well, then," said the princess, "let us set out for China. I will seek him in defiance of both difficulty and danger. The journey is not long, and I hope I shall bring you back your son in a fortnight at farthest."

"Alright," said the princess, "let's go to China. I'm determined to find him, no matter the challenges or risks. The trip isn't that long, and I'm hoping to return your son within two weeks at most."

At these words tears of affection streamed from his mother's eyes and also from those of the princess. They most tenderly embraced, in the great sensibility of their hearts.

At these words, tears of love streamed from his mother's eyes and also from the princess's. They embraced each other tenderly, overwhelmed by their emotions.

The phœnix immediately ordered a coach with six unicorns. Amazan's mother furnished two thousand horsemen, and made the princess, her niece, a present of some thousands of the finest diamonds of her country. The phœnix, afflicted at the evil occasioned by the blackbird's indiscretion, ordered all the blackbirds to quit the country; and from that time none have been met with upon the banks of the Ganges.

The phoenix immediately ordered a carriage pulled by six unicorns. Amazan's mother provided two thousand horsemen and gifted her niece, the princess, several thousand of the finest diamonds from her homeland. The phoenix, distressed by the trouble caused by the blackbird's recklessness, ordered all the blackbirds to leave the country; and from that time on, none have been seen along the banks of the Ganges.

[1] The god Ormuzd, (called Oromasdes by the Greeks), was regarded by the Magi as the source of all good. His followers were in reality worshipers of nature, and used neither temples, altars, nor statues, but performed their simple rites on mountain tops. They adored Oromasdes as the source of all light and purity, and regarded the sun and fire as symbols of the divinity. They were, in the language of Wadsworth:

[1] The god Ormuzd, known as Oromasdes by the Greeks, was seen by the Magi as the source of all goodness. His followers were essentially nature worshippers who didn’t use temples, altars, or statues; instead, they carried out their simple rituals on mountain tops. They praised Oromasdes as the origin of all light and purity, viewing the sun and fire as symbols of the divine. They were, in the words of Wadsworth:

"—zealous to reject
Altar and Image, and the inclusive walls
And roofs of temples built by human hands,—
The loftiest heights ascending,
Presented sacrifice to Moon and Stars
And to the Winds and mother Elements,
And the whole circle of the Heavens, for him
A sensitive existence and a God."

—keen to reject
altars and images, along with the surrounding walls
and roofs of temples built by people,—
aiming for the highest peaks,
making offerings to the Moon and Stars
and to the Winds and Mother Elements,
and the whole expanse of the Heavens, for him
"a delicate life and a God."

Byron, in Childe Harold, contrasts the "unwalled temples," of the worshipers of Nature, with the "idol-dwellings," where images are adored:

Byron, in Childe Harold, contrasts the "unwalled temples" of the worshipers of Nature with the "idol-dwellings" where images are adored:

"Not vainly did the early Persian make
His altar the high places and the peak
Of earth-o'er-gazing mountains, and thus take
A fit and unwalled temple, there to seek
The Spirit, in whose honor shrines are weak,
Upreared of human hands. Come and compare
Columns and idol-dwellings, Goth or Greek,
With Nature's realms of worship, earth and air,
Nor fix on fond abodes to circumscribe thy prayer."

"The early Persians didn't do this for nothing."
By setting up his altar on high places and mountain tops
That look over the earth, and in doing so take
A suitable, welcoming place to look for
The Spirit, for whom human-made shrines are insufficient,
Made by human hands. Come and compare.
Columns and temples, whether Gothic or Greek,
In the natural world of worship: land and sky,
"Don't limit your prayers to specific locations."

In Moore's Lalla Rookh will be found an exquisite sketch of the Magi, or ancient Fire Worshipers,—

In Moore's Lalla Rookh, you'll find a beautiful portrayal of the Magi, or ancient Fire Worshipers,—

"Those slaves of Fire, that morn and even
Hal their creator's dwelling-place
Among the living lights of heaven."—E.

"Those fire slaves, that morning and evening
Hail the creator's home
"Among the bright stars in the sky." —E.

[2] On ancient coins and armorial bearings, the Griffin is represented as having the head and wings of an eagle, joined to the body and paws of a lion, thus representing strength and swiftness combined. It was supposed to watch over mines of gold, and also whatever was secretly hidden. It built its nest like a bird, using gold as the material, and hence it was necessary to vigilantly guard its treasures from the rapacity of mankind—who, says Milton, in Paradise Lost, "by stealth purloined its guarded gold." The poets intimate that the chariot of Apollo, the god of the sun, was drawn by griffins.—E.

[2] On ancient coins and coats of arms, the Griffin is depicted with the head and wings of an eagle, combined with the body and paws of a lion, symbolizing strength and speed together. It was believed to guard gold mines and anything that was secretly hidden. It built its nest like a bird, using gold as its building material, making it essential to protect its treasures from the greed of humans—who, as Milton says in Paradise Lost, "by stealth purloined its guarded gold." Poets suggest that the chariot of Apollo, the sun god, was pulled by griffins.—E.


V.

FORMOSANTA TRAVELS TO CHINA AND SCYTHIA IN SEARCH OF AMAZAN.

The unicorns, in less than eight days, carried Formosanta, Irla, and the phœnix, to Cambalu, the capital of China. This city was larger than that of Babylon, and in appearance quite different. These fresh objects, these strange manners, would have amused Formosanta could any thing but Amazan have engaged her attention.

The unicorns, in under eight days, brought Formosanta, Irla, and the phoenix to Cambalu, the capital of China. This city was bigger than Babylon and looked completely different. These new sights and unusual customs would have entertained Formosanta if anything other than Amazan had caught her interest.

As soon as the emperor of China learned that the princess of Babylon was at the city gates, he dispatched four thousand Mandarins in ceremonial robes to receive her. They all prostrated themselves before her, and presented her with an address written in golden letters upon a sheet of purple silk. Formosanta told them, that if she were possessed of four thousand tongues, she would not omit replying immediately to every Mandarin; but that having only one, she hoped they would be satisfied with her general thanks. They conducted her, in a respectful manner, to the emperor.

As soon as the emperor of China found out that the princess of Babylon was at the city gates, he sent four thousand Mandarins in ceremonial robes to welcome her. They all bowed down before her and gave her a message written in gold letters on a piece of purple silk. Formosanta told them that if she had four thousand tongues, she would reply to each Mandarin right away; but since she only had one, she hoped they would be happy with her general thanks. They respectfully escorted her to the emperor.

He was the wisest, most just and benevolent monarch upon earth. It was he who first tilled a small field with his own imperial hands, to make agriculture respectable to his people. Laws in all other countries were shamefully confined to the punishment of crimes: he first allotted premiums to virtue. This emperor had just banished from his dominions a gang of foreign Bonzes, who had come from the extremities of the West, with the frantic hope of compelling all China to think like themselves; and who, under pretence of teaching truths, had already acquired honors and riches. In expelling them, he delivered himself in these words, which are recorded in the annals of the empire:

He was the wisest, most just, and kindest ruler on earth. He was the first to work a small piece of land with his own imperial hands to make farming respectable for his people. Laws in all other countries were shamefully focused only on punishing crimes; he was the first to reward good behavior. This emperor had just expelled a group of foreign monks who had come from the far West, hoping desperately to make all of China think like they did; they had already gained fame and wealth under the guise of teaching truths. In sending them away, he expressed himself with these words, which are recorded in the empire's history:

"You may here do us much harm as you have elsewhere. You have come to preach dogmas of intolerance, to the most tolerant nation upon earth. I send you back, that I may never be compelled to punish you. You will be honorably conducted to my frontiers. You will be furnished with every thing necessary to return to the confines of the hemisphere from whence you came. Depart in peace, if you can be at peace, and never return."

"You can cause us just as much harm here as you have in other places. You've come to spread ideas of intolerance to the most accepting nation on earth. I'm sending you back so I don't have to punish you. You'll be escorted honorably to my borders. You'll be provided with everything you need to return to the region you came from. Leave in peace, if you can find peace, and don’t come back."

The princess of Babylon heard with pleasure of this speech and determination. She was the more certain of being well received at court, as she was very far from entertaining any dogmas of intolerance. The emperor of China, in dining with her tête-à-tête, had the politeness to banish all disagreeable etiquette. She presented the phœnix to him, who was gently caressed by the emperor, and who perched upon his chair. Formosanta, toward the end of the repast, ingenuously acquainted him with the cause of her journey, and entreated him to search for the beautiful Amazan in the city of Cambalu; and in the meanwhile she acquainted the emperor with her adventures, without concealing the fatal passion with which her heart burned for this youthful hero.

The princess of Babylon was pleased to hear about this conversation and determination. She felt more confident about being welcomed at court since she did not hold any intolerant beliefs. When the emperor of China dined with her privately, he was polite enough to set aside all the awkward formalities. She introduced the phoenix to him, which the emperor gently petted as it perched on his chair. Near the end of the meal, Formosanta openly told him the reason for her journey and asked him to help her find the beautiful Amazan in the city of Cambalu; meanwhile, she shared her adventures with the emperor, not hiding the intense passion her heart felt for this young hero.

"He did me the honor of coming to my court," said the emperor of China. "I was enchanted with this amiable Amazan. It is true that he is deeply afflicted; but his graces are thereby the more affecting. Not one of my favorites has more wit. There is not a gown Mandarin who has more knowledge,—not a military one who has a more martial or heroic air. His extreme youth adds an additional value to all his talents. If I were so unfortunate, so abandoned by the Tien and Changti, as to desire to be a conqueror, I would wish Amazan to put himself at the head of my armies, and I should be sure of conquering the whole universe. It is a great pity that his melancholy sometimes disconcerts him."

"He did me the honor of coming to my court," said the emperor of China. "I was charmed by this kind Amazan. It's true that he is deeply troubled, but his qualities make his struggles even more moving. None of my favorites has more wit. There isn’t a single Mandarin who knows more, and not a military leader who carries a more heroic presence. His youth adds even more value to all his talents. If I were unfortunate enough to be abandoned by Tien and Changti and wanted to be a conqueror, I would want Amazan to lead my armies, and I would be confident of conquering the entire world. It's such a shame that his sadness sometimes throws him off."

"Ah! sir," said Formosanta, with much agitation and grief, blended with an air of reproach, "why did you not request me to dine with him? This is a cruel stroke you have given me. Send for him immediately, I entreat you."

"Ah! Sir," said Formosanta, with a lot of agitation and sadness mixed with a look of reproach, "why didn’t you ask me to join him for dinner? This is a harsh blow you've dealt me. Please send for him right away, I beg you."

"He set out this very morning," replied the emperor, "without acquainting me with his destination."

"He left this morning," replied the emperor, "without telling me where he was going."

Formosanta, turning toward the phœnix, said to him:

Formosanta, turning to the phoenix, said to him:

"Did you ever know so unfortunate a damsel as myself?" Then resuming the conversation, she said:

"Did you ever know such an unfortunate girl as I am?" Then picking up the conversation again, she said:

"Sir, how came he to quit in so abrupt a manner, so polite a court, in which, methinks, one might pass one's life?"

"Sir, how did he manage to leave such a polite court so suddenly, where I feel one could spend their life?"

"The case was as follows," said he. "One of the most amiable of the princesses of the blood, falling desperately in love with him, desired to meet him at noon. He set out at day-break, leaving this billet for my kinswoman, whom it hath cost a deluge of tears:

"The case was as follows," he said. "One of the kindest princesses in the royal family fell head over heels for him and wanted to meet him at noon. He left at dawn, leaving this note for my relative, which has made her shed a flood of tears:

"Beautiful princess of the mongolian race. You are deserving of a heart that was never offered up at any other altar. I have sworn to the immortal gods never to love any other than Formosanta, princess of Babylon, and to teach her how to conquer one's desires in traveling. She has had the misfortune to yield to a worthless king of Egypt. I am the most unfortunate of men; having lost my father, the phœnix, and the hope of being loved by Formosanta. I left my mother in affliction, forsook my home and country, being unable to live a moment in the place where I learned that Formosanta loved another than me. I swore to traverse the earth, and be faithful. You would despise me, and the gods punish me, if I violated my oath. Choose another lover, madam, and be as faithful as I am."

"Beautiful princess of Mongolian descent. You deserve a heart that has never been given to anyone else. I’ve sworn to the immortal gods to never love anyone but Formosanta, the princess of Babylon, and to teach her how to manage her desires during our travels. Unfortunately, she fell for a worthless king of Egypt. I am the most unfortunate man; I lost my father, the phoenix, and my hope of being loved by Formosanta. I left my mother in distress and abandoned my home and country, unable to stay in a place where I learned that Formosanta loved someone else. I vowed to travel the world and remain faithful. You would scorn me, and the gods would punish me if I broke my oath. Choose another lover, madam, and be as loyal as I am."

"Ah! give me that miraculous letter," said the beautiful Formosanta; "it will afford me some consolation. I am happy in the midst of my misfortunes. Amazan loves me! Amazan, for me, renounces the society of the princesses of China. There is no one upon earth but himself endowed with so much fortitude. He sets me a most brilliant example. The phœnix knows I did not stand in need of it. How cruel it is to be deprived of one's lover for the most innocent embrace given through pure fidelity. But, tell me, whither has he gone? What road has he taken? Deign to inform me, and I will immediately set out."

"Ah! give me that incredible letter," said the beautiful Formosanta; "it will bring me some comfort. I'm happy even in the midst of my troubles. Amazan loves me! Amazan has given up the company of the princesses of China for me. There’s no one on earth as strong-willed as he is. He sets a wonderful example for me. The phoenix knows I didn’t need it. How cruel it is to be separated from one's lover for the simplest embrace given in pure loyalty. But tell me, where has he gone? What path has he taken? Please let me know, and I’ll set out immediately."

The emperor of China told her, that, according to the reports he had received, her lover had taken the road toward Scythia. The unicorns were immediately harnessed, and the princess, after the most tender compliments, took leave of the emperor, and resumed her journey with the phœnix, her chambermaid Irla, and all her train.

The emperor of China told her that, based on the reports he had received, her lover had headed towards Scythia. The unicorns were quickly prepared, and the princess, after exchanging the most heartfelt goodbyes, took leave of the emperor and continued her journey with the phoenix, her maid Irla, and her entire entourage.

As soon as she arrived in Scythia, she was more convinced than ever how much men and governments differed, and would continue to differ, until noble and enlightened minds should by degrees remove that cloud of darkness which has covered the earth for so many ages; and until there should be found in barbarous climes, heroic souls, who would have strength and perseverance enough to transform brutes into men. There are no cities in Scythia, consequently no agreeable arts. Nothing was to be seen but extensive fields, and whole tribes whose sole habitations were tents and chars. Such an appearance struck her with terror. Formosanta enquired in what tent or char the king was lodged? She was informed that he had set out eight days before with three hundred thousand cavalry to attack the king of Babylon, whose niece, the beautiful princess Aldea, he had carried off.

As soon as she got to Scythia, she felt more than ever how much men and governments varied, and would keep being different, until noble and enlightened minds slowly dispelled the darkness that has covered the earth for so long; and until there were heroic souls in barbaric lands, strong and persistent enough to turn beasts into humans. There are no cities in Scythia, so there are no nice arts. All she could see were vast fields and entire tribes whose only homes were tents and wagons. This sight terrified her. Formosanta asked in which tent or wagon the king was staying. She learned that he had left eight days earlier with three hundred thousand cavalry to attack the king of Babylon, who had taken his niece, the beautiful princess Aldea.

"What! did he run away with my cousin?" cried Formosanta. "I could not have imagined such an incident. What! has my cousin, who was too happy in paying her court to me, become a queen, and I am not yet married?" She was immediately conducted, by her desire, to the queen's tent.

"What! Did he run off with my cousin?" shouted Formosanta. "I could never have imagined something like this. What! My cousin, who was so eager to win my favor, has become a queen, and I'm still not married?" She was quickly taken, as she requested, to the queen's tent.

Their unexpected meeting in such distant climes—the uncommon occurrences they mutually had to impart to each other, gave such charms to this interview, as made them forget they never loved one another. They saw each other with transport; and a soft illusion supplied the place of real tenderness. They embraced with tears, and there was a cordiality and frankness on each side that could not have taken place in a palace.

Their unexpected meeting in such far-off places—the unusual stories they both had to share—made their conversation so enchanting that they forgot they had never actually loved each other. They looked at each other with joy, and a gentle fantasy filled in for true affection. They hugged, tears in their eyes, and there was an openness and warmth between them that could never have happened in a palace.

Aldea remembered the phœnix and the waiting maid Irla. She presented her cousin with zibelin skins, who in return gave her diamonds. The war between the two kings was spoken of. They deplored the fate of soldiers who were forced into battle, the victims of the caprice of princes, when two honest men might, perhaps, settle the dispute in less than an hour, without a single throat being cut. But the principal topic was the handsome stranger, who had conquered lions, given the largest diamonds in the universe, written madrigals, and had now become the most miserable of men from believing the statements of a blackbird.

Aldea remembered the phoenix and the waiting maid Irla. She gave her cousin zibelin skins, who in return gave her diamonds. They talked about the war between the two kings. They lamented the fate of soldiers forced into battle, victims of the whims of princes, when two honest men could settle the dispute in less than an hour without any bloodshed. But the main topic was the handsome stranger, who had conquered lions, given the largest diamonds in the world, written madrigals, and had now become the most miserable of men for believing the words of a blackbird.

"He is my dear brother," said Aldea. "He is my lover," cried Formosanta. "You have, doubtless, seen him. Is he still here? for, cousin, as he knows he is your brother, he cannot have left you so abruptly as he did the king of China.

"He is my dear brother," said Aldea. "He is my lover," cried Formosanta. "You've probably seen him. Is he still here? Because, cousin, since he knows he’s your brother, he couldn’t have left you as suddenly as he did the king of China."

"Have I seen him? good heavens! yes. He passed four whole days with me. Ah! cousin, how much my brother is to blame. A false report has absolutely turned his brain. He roams about the world, without knowing whither he is destined. Imagine to yourself his distraction of mind, which is so great, that he has refused to meet the handsomest lady in all Scythia. He set out yesterday, after writing her a letter which has thrown her into despair. As for him, he has gone to visit the Cimmerians."

"Have I seen him? Oh my goodness! Yes. He spent a whole four days with me. Ah! Cousin, my brother is really to blame. A false rumor has completely messed with his head. He wanders around aimlessly, not knowing where he's supposed to go. Just imagine how distracted he is, to the point that he’s turned down a meeting with the most beautiful lady in all of Scythia. He left yesterday after writing her a letter that has made her utterly despairing. As for him, he’s gone to visit the Cimmerians."

"God be thanked!" cried Formosanta, "another refusal in my favor. My good fortune is beyond my hopes, as my misfortunes surpass my greatest apprehensions. Procure me this charming letter, that I may set out and follow him, loaded with his sacrifices. Farewell, cousin. Amazan is among the Cimmerians, and I fly to meet him."

"Thank God!" shouted Formosanta, "another refusal that works in my favor. My luck is beyond what I ever hoped for, just as my bad luck exceeds my worst fears. Get me that beautiful letter so I can set off and follow him, filled with his offerings. Goodbye, cousin. Amazan is with the Cimmerians, and I'm off to meet him."

Aldea judged that the princess, her cousin, was still more frantic than her brother Amazan. Hut as she had herself been sensible of the effects of this epidemic contagion, having given up the delights and magnificence of Babylon for a king of Scythia; and as the women always excuse those follies that are the effects of love, she felt for Formosanta's affliction, wished her a happy journey, and promised to be her advocate with her brother, if ever she was so fortunate as to see him again.

Aldea thought that her cousin, the princess, was even more upset than her brother Amazan. But since she had experienced the impacts of this widespread panic herself, having traded the pleasures and splendor of Babylon for a king from Scythia, and since women often forgive the foolishness that comes from love, she sympathized with Formosanta's distress, wished her a safe trip, and promised to support her with her brother if she ever got the chance to see him again.


VI.

THE PRINCESS KEEPS GOING.

From Scythia the princess of Babylon, with her phœnix, soon arrived at the empire of the Cimmerians, now called Russia; a country indeed much less populous than Scythia, but of far greater extent.

From Scythia, the princess of Babylon, with her phoenix, soon arrived at the empire of the Cimmerians, now known as Russia; a country that is indeed much less populated than Scythia, but much larger in size.

After a few days' journey, she entered a very large city, which has of late been greatly improved by the reigning sovereign. The empress, however, was not there at that time, but was making a journey through her dominions, on the frontiers of Europe and Asia, in order to judge of their state and condition with her own eyes,—to enquire into their grievances, and to provide the proper remedies for them.

After a few days of traveling, she arrived at a huge city that had recently been significantly improved by the current ruler. However, the empress wasn't there at that time; she was traveling through her territories on the borders of Europe and Asia to personally assess their situation, look into their issues, and find the right solutions for them.

The principal magistrate of that ancient capital, as soon as he was informed of the arrival of the Babylonian lady and the phœnix, lost no time in paying her all the honors of his country; being certain that his mistress, the most polite and generous empress in the world, would be extremely well pleased to find that he had received so illustrious a lady with all that respect which she herself, if on the spot, would have shown her.

The main authority of that ancient city, as soon as he heard about the arrival of the Babylonian lady and the phoenix, quickly made sure to show her all the honors of his nation; knowing that his ruler, the kindest and most generous empress in the world, would be very pleased to see that he had welcomed such a distinguished guest with the same respect she would have shown if she were there.

The princess was lodged in the palace, and entertained with great splendor and elegance. The Cimmerian lord, who was an excellent natural philosopher, diverted himself in conversing with the phœnix, at such times as the princess chose to retire to her own apartment. The phœnix told him, that he had formerly traveled among the Cimmerians, but that he should not have known the country again.

The princess was staying in the palace and was treated with great luxury and style. The Cimmerian lord, who was a brilliant natural philosopher, enjoyed talking to the phoenix whenever the princess decided to go back to her own room. The phoenix told him that he had traveled among the Cimmerians before, but he wouldn’t have recognized the country now.

"How comes it," said he, "that such prodigious changes have been brought about in so short a time? Formerly, when I was here, about three hundred years ago, I saw nothing but savage nature in all her horrors. At present, I perceive industry, arts, splendor, and politeness."

"How is it," he said, "that such incredible changes have happened in such a short time? When I was here, about three hundred years ago, I saw nothing but wild nature in all its terrors. Now, I see industry, art, luxury, and civility."

"This mighty revolution," replied the Cimmerian, "was begun by one man, and is now carried to perfection by one woman;—a woman who is a greater legislator than the Isis of the Egyptians, or the Ceres of the Greeks. Most law-givers have been, unhappily, of a narrow genius and an arbitrary disposition, which conned their views to the countries they governed. Each of them looked upon his own race as the only people existing upon the earth, or as if they ought to be at enmity with all the rest. They formed institutions, introduced customs, and established religions exclusively for themselves. Thus the Egyptians, so famous for those heaps of stones called pyramids, have dishonored themselves with their barbarous superstitions. They despise all other nations as profane; refuse all manner of intercourse with them; and, excepting those conversant in the court, who now and then rise above the prejudices of the vulgar, there is not an Egyptian who will eat off a plate that has ever been used by a stranger. Their priests are equally cruel and absurd. It were better to have no laws at all, and to follow those notions of right and wrong engraven on our hearts by nature, than to subject society to institutions so inhospitable.

"This powerful revolution," replied the Cimmerian, "was started by one man and is now perfected by one woman—a woman who is a greater lawmaker than the Isis of the Egyptians or the Ceres of the Greeks. Unfortunately, most lawmakers have been narrow-minded and arbitrary, focused only on the countries they governed. Each of them saw their own race as the only people on earth or believed they should be enemies with everyone else. They created institutions, introduced customs, and established religions only for themselves. Thus, the Egyptians, well-known for their massive stone structures called pyramids, have disgraced themselves with their barbaric superstitions. They look down on all other nations as unworthy, refuse any kind of interaction with them, and except for those at court who occasionally rise above the common prejudices, there isn’t an Egyptian who will eat off a plate that has ever been used by a foreigner. Their priests are just as cruel and foolish. It would be better to have no laws at all and to follow the sense of right and wrong that nature has imprinted on our hearts than to subject society to such unwelcoming institutions."

"Our empress has adopted quite a different system. She considers her vast dominions, under which all the meridians on the globe are united, as under an obligation of correspondence with all the nations dwelling under those meridians. The first and most fundamental of her laws, is an universal toleration of all religions, and an unbounded compassion for every error. Her penetrating genius perceives, that though the modes of religious worship differ, yet morality is every where the same. By this principle, she has united her people to all the nations on earth, and the Cimmerians will soon consider the Scandinavians and the Chinese as their brethren. Not satisfied with this, she has resolved to establish this invaluable toleration, the strongest link of society, among her neighbors. By these means, she obtained the title of the parent of her country; and, if she persevere, will acquire that of the benefactress of mankind.

"Our empress has adopted a completely different approach. She views her vast territories, which connect all the meridians on the globe, as having a responsibility to communicate with all the nations situated under those meridians. The first and most fundamental of her laws is a universal acceptance of all religions and limitless compassion for every mistake. Her insightful mind recognizes that, although the ways of practicing religion vary, morality is fundamentally the same everywhere. With this principle, she has linked her people to all the nations on earth, and the Cimmerians will soon regard the Scandinavians and the Chinese as their brothers. Not satisfied with this, she has decided to promote this invaluable tolerance, the strongest bond of society, among her neighbors. Through these efforts, she has earned the title of the mother of her country; and if she continues on this path, she will earn the title of the benefactor of humanity."

"Before her time, the men, who were unhappily possessed of power, sent out legions of murderers to ravage unknown countries, and to water with the blood of the children the inheritance of their fathers. Those assassins were called heroes, and their robberies accounted glorious achievements. But our sovereign courts another sort of glory. She has sent forth her armies to be the messengers of peace; not only to prevent men from being the destroyers, but to oblige them to be the benefactors of one another. Her standards are the ensigns of public tranquillity."

"Before her time, men, who were unfortunately in power, sent out armies of killers to destroy unknown lands and to soak the earth with the blood of children to further their own legacies. These assassins were celebrated as heroes, and their plunder was considered glorious. But our sovereign seeks a different kind of glory. She has sent her armies to spread peace; not only to stop people from being destroyers, but to encourage them to be helpers to one another. Her banners represent public peace."

The phœnix was quite charmed with what he heard from this nobleman. He told him, that though he had lived twenty-seven thousand nine hundred years and seven months in this world, he had never seen any thing like it. He then enquired after his friend Amazan. The Cimmerian gave the same account of him that the princess had already heard from the Chinese and the Scythians. It was Amazan's constant practice to run away from all the courts he visited, the instant any lady noticed him in particular and seemed anxious to make his acquaintance. The phœnix soon acquainted Formosanta with this fresh instance of Amazan's fidelity—a fidelity so much the more surprising, since he could not imagine his princess would ever hear of it.

The phoenix was really impressed by what he heard from the nobleman. He told him that even though he had lived for twenty-seven thousand nine hundred years and seven months in this world, he had never seen anything like it. He then asked about his friend Amazan. The Cimmerian gave the same account of him that the princess had already heard from the Chinese and the Scythians. Amazan always ran away from every court he visited the moment a lady showed particular interest in him and seemed eager to get to know him. The phoenix quickly informed Formosanta of this new example of Amazan's loyalty—a loyalty that was even more surprising since he never thought his princess would ever hear about it.

Amazan had set out for Scandinavia, where he was entertained with sights still more surprising. In this place, he beheld monarchy and liberty subsisting together in a manner thought incompatible in other states; the laborers of the ground shared in the legislature with the grandees of the realm. In another place he saw what was still more extraordinary; a prince equally remarkable for his extreme youth and uprightness, who possessed a sovereign authority over his country, acquired by a solemn contract with his people.

Amazan had headed to Scandinavia, where he was amazed by even more surprising sights. There, he witnessed monarchy and freedom coexisting in a way that was thought impossible in other countries; the workers on the land participated in the legislature alongside the nobles of the land. In another place, he encountered something even more extraordinary: a prince notable for his youth and integrity, who held absolute power over his country, gained through a formal agreement with his people.

Amazan beheld a philosopher on the throne of Sarmatia, who might be called a king of anarchy; for he was the chief of a hundred thousand petty kings, one of whom with his single voice could render ineffectual the resolution of all the rest. Eolus had not more difficulty to keep the warring winds within their proper bounds, than this monarch to reconcile the tumultuous discordant spirits of his subjects. He was the master of a ship surrounded with eternal storms. But the vessel did not founder, for he was an excellent pilot.

Amazan saw a philosopher sitting on the throne of Sarmatia, who could be described as a king of chaos; he was the leader of a hundred thousand minor kings, any one of whom could effectively cancel out the decisions of all the others with just his voice. Eolus faced no greater challenge in managing the battling winds than this monarch did in bringing together the noisy, conflicting spirits of his people. He was in charge of a ship surrounded by constant storms. However, the ship didn’t sink because he was an outstanding captain.

In traversing those various countries, so different from his own, Amazan persevered in rejecting all the advances made to him by the ladies, though incessantly distracted with the embrace given by Formosanta to the king of Egypt, being resolved to set Formosanta an amazing example of an unshaken and unparalleled fidelity.

In traveling through those different countries, so unlike his own, Amazan continued to turn down all the advances made to him by the women, even though he couldn't help but be distracted by Formosanta's embrace with the king of Egypt, determined to show Formosanta an incredible example of unwavering and unmatched loyalty.

The princess of Babylon was constantly close at his heels, and scarcely ever missed of him but by a day or two; without the one being tired of roaming, or the other losing a moment in pursuing him.

The princess of Babylon was always right behind him, hardly ever missing him by more than a day or two; neither of them got tired of wandering, nor did the other waste a moment chasing him.

Thus he traversed the immense continent of Germany, where he beheld with wonder the progress which reason and philosophy had made in the north. Even their princes were enlightened, and had become the patrons of freedom of thought. Their education had not been trusted to men who had an interest in deceiving them, or who were themselves deceived. They were brought up in the knowledge of universal morality, and in the contempt of superstition.

Thus he traveled across the vast continent of Germany, where he marveled at the progress that reason and philosophy had made in the north. Even their princes were enlightened and had become supporters of freedom of thought. Their education was not left in the hands of those who had an interest in misleading them or who were themselves fooled. They were raised with an understanding of universal morality and a disdain for superstition.

They had banished from all their estates a senseless custom which had enervated and depopulated the southern countries. This was to bury alive in immense dungeons, infinite numbers of both sexes who were eternally separated from one another, and sworn to have no communication together. This madness had contributed more than the most cruel wars to lay waste and depopulate the earth.

They had eliminated a pointless tradition from all their lands that had drained life and emptied the southern regions. This involved burying countless men and women alive in huge dungeons, where they were forever separated from each other and sworn to never communicate. This madness had caused more destruction and depopulation than the fiercest wars.

In opposing these barbarous institutions, so inimical to the laws of nature and the best interests of society, the princes of the north had become the benefactors of their race. They had likewise exploded other errors equally absurd and pernicious. In short, men had at last ventured to make use of their reason in those immense regions; whereas it was still believed almost every where else, that they could not be governed but in proportion to their ignorance.

In challenging these brutal institutions, which went against the laws of nature and the best interests of society, the northern princes became the champions of their people. They also rejected other equally ridiculous and harmful beliefs. In short, people had finally begun to use their reasoning in those vast regions; meanwhile, it was still widely believed elsewhere that they could only be governed in relation to their ignorance.


VII.

AMAZAN VISITS ALBION.

From Germany, Amazan arrived at Batavia; where his perpetual chagrin was in a good measure alleviated, by perceiving among the inhabitants a faint resemblance to his happy countrymen, the Gangarids. There he saw liberty, security, and equality,—with toleration in religion; but the ladies were so indifferent, that none made him any advances; an experience he had not met with before. It is true, however, that had he been inclined to address them, they would not have been offended; though, at the same time, not one would have been the least in love; but he was far from any thoughts of making conquests.

From Germany, Amazan arrived in Batavia; where his ongoing disappointment was somewhat eased by noticing a slight resemblance among the locals to his joyful countrymen, the Gangarids. There he found freedom, safety, and equality—with religious tolerance; but the women were so uninterested that none approached him; an experience he had not encountered before. It's true, though, that if he had wanted to talk to them, they wouldn't have minded; still, not one would have been the least bit in love; but he had no intentions of making any romantic advances.

Formosanta had nearly caught him in this insipid nation. He had set out but a moment before her arrival.

Formosanta had almost caught him in this dull country. He had left just a moment before she arrived.

Amazan had heard so much among the Batavians in praise of a certain island called Albion, that he was led by curiosity to embark with his unicorns on board a ship, which, with a favorable easterly wind, carried him in a few hours to that celebrated country, more famous than Tyre, or Atlantis.

Amazan had heard so much from the Batavians about a certain island called Albion that his curiosity pushed him to set sail with his unicorns on a ship. With a nice east wind, he was quickly taken to that renowned land, more famous than Tyre or Atlantis.

The beautiful Formosanta, who had followed him, as it were on the scent, to the banks of the Volga, the Vistula, the Elbe, and the Weser, and had never been above a day or two behind him, arrived soon after at the mouth of the Rhine, where it disembogues its waters into the German Ocean.

The stunning Formosanta, who had tracked him almost like she was following a scent, reached the banks of the Volga, the Vistula, the Elbe, and the Weser, never more than a day or two behind him. She soon arrived at the mouth of the Rhine, where it flows into the German Ocean.

Here she learned that her beloved Amazan had just set sail for Albion. She thought she saw the vessel on board of which he was, and could not help crying out for joy; at which the Batavian ladies were greatly surprised, not imagining that a young man could possibly occasion so violent a transport. They took, indeed, but little notice of the phœnix, as they reckoned his feathers would not fetch near so good a price as those of their own ducks, and other water fowl. The princess of Babylon hired two vessels to carry herself and her retinue to that happy island, which was soon to possess the only object of her desires, the soul of her life, and the god of her idolatry.

Here she found out that her beloved Amazan had just set sail for Albion. She thought she saw the ship he was on and couldn't help but cry out in joy; the Batavian ladies were very surprised, not believing that a young man could cause such a strong reaction. They paid little attention to the phœnix, thinking his feathers wouldn't be worth nearly as much as those of their own ducks and other waterfowl. The princess of Babylon hired two ships to take her and her entourage to that beautiful island, which was soon to hold the only object of her desires, the soul of her life, and the god of her adoration.

An unpropitious wind from the west suddenly arose, just as the faithful and unhappy Amazan landed on Albion's sea-girt shore, and detained the ships of the Babylonian princess just as they were on the point of sailing. Seized with a deep melancholy, she went to her room, determined to remain there till the wind should change; but it blew for the space of eight days, with an unremitting violence. The princess, during this tedious period, employed her maid of honor, Irla, in reading romances; which were not indeed written by the Batavians; but as they are the factors of the universe, they traffic in the wit as well as commodities of other nations. The princess purchased of Mark Michael Rey, the bookseller, all the novels which had been written by the Ausonians and the Welch, the sale of which had been wisely prohibited among those nations to enrich their neighbors, the Batavians. She expected to find in those histories some adventure similar to her own, which might alleviate her grief. The maid of honor read, the phœnix made comments, and the princess, finding nothing in the Fortunate Country Maid, in Tansai, or in the Sopha, that had the least resemblance to her own affairs, interrupted the reader every moment, by asking how the wind stood.

A bad wind from the west suddenly picked up just as the loyal and unhappy Amazan landed on Albion's sea-bound shores, holding up the ships of the Babylonian princess right when they were about to set sail. Overwhelmed by deep sadness, she went to her room, deciding to stay inside until the wind changed; but it kept blowing fiercely for eight days straight. During this long time, the princess had her maid of honor, Irla, read romance novels to her; they weren't actually written by the Batavians, but since they are the universe's merchants, they trade in humor as well as goods from other countries. The princess bought all the novels written by the Ausonians and the Welsh from the bookseller Mark Michael Rey, whose sale had been wisely prohibited among those nations to enrich their neighbors, the Batavians. She hoped to find in those stories some adventure like her own that might ease her sorrow. The maid of honor read, the phoenix made comments, and the princess, not finding anything in the Fortunate Country Maid, Tansai, or Sopha that resembled her situation at all, kept interrupting the reader to ask how the wind was doing.


VIII.

AMAZAN LEAVES ALBION TO TRAVEL TO THE LAND OF SATURN.

In the mean time Amazan was on the road to the capital of Albion, in his coach and six unicorns, all his thoughts employed on his dear princess. At a small distance he perceived a carriage overturned in a ditch. The servants had gone in different directions in quest of assistance, but the owner kept his seat, smoking his pipe with great tranquillity, without manifesting the smallest impatience. His name was my lord What-then, in the language from which I translate these memoirs.

In the meantime, Amazan was on his way to the capital of Albion, riding in his coach pulled by six unicorns, with all his thoughts focused on his beloved princess. Not far ahead, he noticed a carriage flipped over in a ditch. The servants had scattered in different directions to seek help, but the owner remained seated, calmly smoking his pipe without showing the slightest impatience. His name was my lord What-then, in the language from which I translate these memoirs.

Amazan made all the haste possible to help him, and without assistance set the carriage to rights, so much was his strength superior to that of other men. My lord What-then took no other notice of him, than saying, "a stout fellow, by Jove!" In the meantime the neighboring people, having arrived, flew into a great passion at being called out to no purpose, and fell upon the stranger. They abused him, called him an outlandish dog, and challenged him to strip and box.

Amazan rushed to help him and, without any assistance, fixed the carriage himself, thanks to his superior strength. My lord What-then only acknowledged him by saying, "A strong guy, I swear!" Meanwhile, the locals arrived, furious at being summoned for no reason, and turned on the stranger. They insulted him, called him a foreign mutt, and dared him to take off his clothes and fight.

Amazan seized a brace of them in each hand, and threw them twenty paces from him; the rest seeing this, pulled off their hats, and bowing with great respect, asked his honor for something to drink. His honor gave them more money than they had ever seen in their lives before. My lord What-then now expressed great esteem for him, and asked him to dinner at his country house, about three miles off. His invitation being accepted, he went into Amazan's coach, his own being out of order from the accident.

Amazan grabbed two of them in each hand and tossed them twenty paces away. The others, witnessing this, removed their hats and, bowing respectfully, asked him for something to drink. He gave them more money than they had ever seen in their lives. My lord What-then now showed great respect for him and invited him to dinner at his country house, which was about three miles away. After accepting the invitation, he got into Amazan's coach since his own was out of order from the recent incident.

After a quarter of an hour's silence, my lord What-then, looking upon Amazan for a moment, said. "How d'ye do?" which, by the way, is a phrase without any meaning, adding, "You have got six fine unicorns there." After which he continued smoking as usual.

After fifteen minutes of silence, my lord What-then glanced at Amazan for a moment and said, "How's it going?" which, by the way, doesn't really mean anything, and then added, "You have six great unicorns there." After that, he went back to smoking as usual.

The traveler told him his unicorns were at his service, and that he had brought them from the country of the Gangarids. From thence he took occasion to inform him of his affair with the princess of Babylon, and the unlucky kiss she had given the king of Egypt; to which the other made no reply, being very indifferent whether there were any such people in the world, as a king of Egypt, or a princess of Babylon.

The traveler told him his unicorns were ready to help, and that he had brought them from the land of the Gangarids. From there, he mentioned his relationship with the princess of Babylon and the unfortunate kiss she had given to the king of Egypt; to which the other person didn’t respond, not really caring whether such people existed in the world, like a king of Egypt or a princess of Babylon.

He remained dumb for another quarter of an hour; after which he asked his companion a second time how he did, and whether they had any good roast beef among the Gangarids.

He stayed quiet for another fifteen minutes; after that, he asked his friend again how he was doing and if they had any good roast beef among the Gangarids.

Amazan answered with his wonted politeness, "that they did not eat their brethren on the banks of the Ganges." He then explained to him that system which many ages afterward was surnamed the Pythagorean philosophy. But my lord fell asleep in the meantime, and made but one nap of it till he came to his own house.

Amazan replied with his usual politeness, "that they don’t eat their fellow beings on the banks of the Ganges." He then explained to him the system that many ages later was called the Pythagorean philosophy. However, my lord fell asleep in the meantime and only took one nap until he got back to his own house.

He was married to a young and charming woman, on whom nature had bestowed a soul as lively and sensible as that of her husband was dull and stupid. A few gentlemen of Albion had that day come to dine with her; among whom there were characters of all sorts; for that country having been almost always under the government of foreigners, the families that had come over with these princes had imported their different manners. There were in this company some persons of an amiable disposition, others of superior genius, and a few of profound learning.

He was married to a young and charming woman, who had been given a lively and sensible spirit that contrasted sharply with her husband’s dull and stupid nature. That day, a few gentlemen from Albion had come to dine with her; among them were all sorts of characters, as that country had long been under foreign rule, with families that had come over with these princes bringing their varied customs. In this group, there were some people with a friendly nature, others with exceptional talent, and a few with deep knowledge.

The mistress of the house had none of that awkward stiffness, that false modesty, with which the young ladies of Albion were then reproached. She did not conceal by a scornful look and an affected taciturnity, her deficiency of ideas: and the embarrassing humility of having nothing to say. Never was a woman more engaging. She received Amazan with a grace and politeness that were quite natural to her. The extreme beauty of this young stranger, and the involuntary comparison she could not help making between him and her prosaic husband, did not increase her happiness or content.

The lady of the house didn’t have that awkward stiffness or false modesty that young women from Albion were often criticized for back then. She didn’t hide her lack of ideas behind a scornful look or forced silence, nor did she feel the embarrassment of having nothing to say. She was incredibly charming. She welcomed Amazan with a grace and politeness that felt completely natural to her. The striking beauty of this young stranger, along with the unintentional comparison she couldn’t avoid making between him and her ordinary husband, didn’t boost her happiness or satisfaction.

Dinner being served, she placed Amazan at her side, and helped him to a variety of puddings, he having informed her that the Gangarids never dined upon any thing which had received from the gods the celestial gift of life. The events of his early life, the manners of the Gangarids, the progress of arts, religion, and government, were the subjects of a conversation equally agreeable and instructive all the time of the entertainment, which lasted till night: during which my lord What-then did nothing but push the bottle about, and call for the toast.

Dinner was served, and she seated Amazan next to her, serving him a variety of puddings. He had told her that the Gangarids never ate anything that had received the divine gift of life. They talked about his early life, the customs of the Gangarids, and the advancement of arts, religion, and government. The conversation was both enjoyable and informative throughout the meal, which lasted until nightfall. During this time, my lord What-then only focused on passing the bottle around and making toasts.

After dinner, while my lady was pouring out the tea, still feeding her eyes on the young stranger, he entered into a long conversation with a member of parliament; for every one knows that there was, even then, a parliament called Wittenagemot, or the assembly of wise men. Amazan enquired into the constitution, laws, manners, customs, forces, and arts, which made this country so respectable; and the member answered him in the following manner.

After dinner, while my lady was pouring the tea and still admiring the young stranger, he engaged in a lengthy conversation with a member of parliament; because everyone knew there was a parliament at that time called Wittenagemot, or the assembly of wise men. Amazan inquired about the constitution, laws, customs, traditions, military forces, and arts that made this country so esteemed; and the member replied to him in the following way.

"For a long time we went stark naked, though our climate is none of the hottest. We were likewise for a long time enslaved by a people who came from the ancient country of Saturn, watered by the Tiber. But the mischief we have done one another has greatly exceeded all that we ever suffered from our first conquerors. One of our princes carried his superstition to such a pitch, as to declare himself the subject of a priest, who dwells also on the banks of the Tiber, and is called the Old Man of the Seven Mountains. It has been the fate of the seven mountains to domineer over the greatest part of Europe, then inhabited by brutes in human shape.

"For a long time, we went completely naked, even though our climate isn't the warmest. We were also enslaved for a long time by a group that came from the ancient land of Saturn, by the Tiber River. However, the harm we've caused each other has far outstripped anything we ever endured from our first conquerors. One of our rulers took his superstition to the extreme by declaring himself a follower of a priest who also lives by the Tiber and is known as the Old Man of the Seven Mountains. The seven mountains have dominated most of Europe, which was then home to people who were more like savages than humans."

Religious wars in Albion. Religious conflicts in Albion.

"To those times of infamy and debasement, succeeded the ages of barbarity and confusion. Our country, more tempestuous than the surrounding ocean, has been ravaged and drenched in blood by our civil discords. Many of our crowned heads have perished by a violent death. Above a hundred princes of the royal blood have ended their days on the scaffold, whilst the hearts of their adherents have been torn from their breasts, and thrown in their faces. In short, it is the province of the hangman to write the history of our island, seeing that this personage has finally determined all our affairs of moment.

"After those times of shame and degradation came the ages of chaos and barbarism. Our country, more turbulent than the surrounding ocean, has been devastated and soaked in blood due to our internal conflicts. Many of our monarchs have met violent ends. Over a hundred royal figures have lost their lives on the scaffold, while the hearts of their supporters have been ripped from their chests and thrown back at them. In short, it is the hangman who writes the history of our island, as this individual has ultimately dictated all our significant affairs."

"But to crown these horrors, it is not very long since some fellows wearing black mantles, and others who cast white shirts over their jackets, having become aggressive and intolerent, succeeded in communicating their madness to the whole nation. Our country was then divided into two parties, the murderers and the murdered, the executioners and the sufferers, plunderers and slaves; and all in the name of God, and whilst they were seeking the Lord.

"But to top off these horrors, it hasn’t been long since some guys in black cloaks and others who threw on white shirts over their jackets became aggressive and intolerant, successfully spreading their madness throughout the entire nation. Our country was then split into two sides: the murderers and the murdered, the executioners and the victims, thieves and slaves; all in the name of God, while they were supposedly seeking the Lord."

"Who would have imagined, that from this horrible abyss, this chaos of dissension, cruelty, ignorance, and fanaticism, a government should at last spring up, the most perfect, it may be said, now in the world; yet such has been the event. A prince, honored and wealthy, all-powerful to do good, but without power to do evil, is at the head of a free, warlike, commercial, and enlightened nation. The nobles on one hand, and the representatives of the people on the other, share the legislature with the monarch.

"Who would have thought that from this terrible chaos of disagreement, cruelty, ignorance, and fanaticism, a truly remarkable government would eventually emerge, one of the best in the world? Yet that is what has happened. A respected and wealthy leader, fully capable of doing good but unable to do harm, leads a free, strong, commercial, and educated nation. The nobles on one side and the people's representatives on the other share the law-making power with the king."

"We have seen, by a singular fatality of events, disorder, civil wars, anarchy and wretchedness, lay waste the country, when our kings aimed at arbitrary power: whereas tranquillity, riches, and universal happiness, have only reigned among us, when the prince has remained satisfied with a limited authority. All order had been subverted whilst we were disputing about mysteries, but was re-established the moment we grew wise enough to despise them. Our victorious fleets carry our flag on every ocean; our laws place our lives and fortunes in security; no judge can explain them in an arbitrary manner, and no decision is ever given without the reasons assigned for it. We should punish a judge as an assassin, who should condemn a citizen to death without declaring the evidence which accused him, and the law upon which he was convicted.

"We have witnessed a unique series of unfortunate events: disorder, civil wars, anarchy, and misery have devastated the country when our kings sought absolute power. In contrast, peace, wealth, and widespread happiness have flourished whenever the prince has accepted limited authority. All order was disrupted while we argued over mysteries, but it was restored as soon as we became wise enough to disregard them. Our triumphant fleets fly our flag on every ocean; our laws protect our lives and fortunes; no judge can interpret them arbitrarily, and no ruling is made without clear reasoning. We would treat a judge like a murderer if they sentenced a citizen to death without revealing the evidence against them and the law they violated."

"It is true, there are always two parties among us, who are continually writing and intriguing against each other, but they constantly re-unite, whenever it is needful to arm in defence of liberty and our country. These two parties watch over one another, and mutually prevent the violation of the sacred deposit of the laws. They hate one another, but they love the state. They are like those jealous lovers, who pay court to the same mistress, with a spirit of emulation.

"It’s true, there are always two groups among us that are constantly writing and plotting against each other, but they come together again whenever it’s necessary to defend our freedom and our country. These two groups keep an eye on each other and help prevent the violation of the sacred deposit of the laws. They dislike each other, but they care about the state. They’re like jealous lovers who compete for the same person, driven by rivalry."

"From the same fund of genius by which we discovered and supported the natural rights of mankind, we have carried the sciences to the highest pitch to which they can attain among men. Your Egyptians, who pass for such great mechanics—your Indians, who are believed to be such great philosophers—your Babylonians, who boast of having observed the stars for the course of four hundred and thirty thousand years—the Greeks, who have written so much, and said so little, know in reality nothing in comparison to our inferior scholars, who have studied the discoveries of Our great masters. We have ravished more secrets from nature in the space of an hundred years, that the human species had been able to discover in as many ages.

"From the same source of genius that allowed us to recognize and uphold the natural rights of humanity, we have advanced the sciences to the highest level possible for people. Your Egyptians, known for their remarkable mechanics—your Indians, regarded as outstanding philosophers—your Babylonians, who claim to have observed the stars for four hundred and thirty thousand years—the Greeks, who have written extensively while conveying little, actually know very little compared to our lesser scholars, who have studied the discoveries of our great masters. We have uncovered more secrets of nature in just one hundred years than humanity had been able to find in as many ages."

"This is a true account of our present state. I have concealed from you neither the good nor the bad; neither our shame nor our glory; and I have exaggerated nothing."

"This is an accurate account of where we stand right now. I haven’t hidden anything from you, neither the good nor the bad; neither our shame nor our pride; and I haven’t exaggerated anything."

At this discourse Amazan felt a strong desire to be instructed in those sublime sciences his friend had spoken of; and if his passion for the princess of Babylon, his filial duty to his mother whom he had quitted, and his love for his native country, had not made strong remonstrances to his distempered heart, he would willingly have spent the remainder of his life in Albion. But that unfortunate kiss his princess had given the king of Egypt, did not leave his mind at sufficient ease to study the abstruse sciences.

At this conversation, Amazan felt a strong urge to learn about the profound subjects his friend had mentioned; and if his love for the princess of Babylon, his duty to his mother whom he had left, and his affection for his homeland hadn't pulled at his troubled heart, he would have happily spent the rest of his life in Albion. But that unfortunate kiss his princess had given to the king of Egypt left him too unsettled to focus on studying complex sciences.

"I confess," said he, "having made a solemn vow to roam about the world, and to escape from myself. I have a curiosity to see that ancient land of Saturn—that people of the Tiber and of the Seven Mountains, who have been heretofore your masters. They must undoubtedly be the first people on earth."

"I admit," he said, "that I've made a serious promise to travel the world and escape from myself. I'm curious to see that ancient land of Saturn—the people of the Tiber and the Seven Hills, who have been your rulers before. They must surely be the first people on earth."

"I advise you by all means," answered the member, "to take that journey, if you have the smallest taste for music or painting. Even we ourselves frequently carry our spleen and melancholy to the Seven Mountains. But you will be greatly surprised when you see the descendants of our conquerors."

"I highly recommend," replied the member, "that you take that trip if you have any interest in music or art at all. Even we often bring our frustrations and sadness to the Seven Mountains. But you'll be really amazed when you see the descendants of our conquerors."

This was a long conversation, and Amazan had spoken in so agreeable a manner; his voice was so charming; his whole behavior so noble and engaging, that the mistress of the house could not resist the pleasure of having a little private chat with him in her turn. She accordingly sent him a little billet-doux intimating her wishes in the most agreeable language. Amazan had once more the courage to resist the fascination of female society, and, according to custom, wrote the lady an answer full of respect,—representing to her the sacredness of his oath, and the strict obligation he was under to teach the princess of Babylon to conquer her passions by his example; after which he harnessed his unicorns and departed for Batavia, leaving all the company in deep admiration of him, and the lady in profound astonishment. In her confusion she dropped Amazan's letter. My lord What-then read it next morning:

This was a long conversation, and Amazan spoke in such a pleasant way; his voice was so charming; his entire demeanor so noble and engaging, that the lady of the house couldn’t help but feel the urge to have a little private chat with him too. So, she sent him a little note expressing her wishes in the nicest way possible. Amazan again found the courage to resist the allure of female company, and, as was his habit, wrote the lady a respectful reply—explaining to her the seriousness of his vow and the strict duty he had to teach the princess of Babylon to master her passions by his example. After that, he harnessed his unicorns and left for Batavia, leaving everyone in deep admiration of him, and the lady in complete shock. In her confusion, she dropped Amazan's letter. My lord What-then read it the next morning:

"D—n it," said he, shrugging up his shoulders, "what stuff and nonsense have we got here?" and then rode out a fox hunting with some of his drunken neighbors.

"Damn it," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "what nonsense is this?" and then he rode out hunting foxes with some of his drunken neighbors.

Amazan was already sailing upon the sea, possessed of a geographical chart, with which he had been presented by the learned Albion he had conversed with at lord What-then's. He was extremely astonished to find the greatest part of the earth upon a single sheet of paper.

Amazan was already sailing on the ocean, equipped with a map that he had received from the knowledgeable Albion he had talked to at Lord What-then's. He was very surprised to see most of the world represented on just one sheet of paper.

His eyes and imagination wandered over this little space; he observed the Rhine, the Danube, the Alps of Tyrol, there specified under their different names, and all the countries through which he was to pass before he arrived at the city of the Seven Mountains. But he more particularly fixed his eyes upon the country of the Gangarids, upon Babylon, where he had seen his dear princess, and upon the country of Bassora, where she had given a fatal kiss to the king of Egypt. He sighed, and tears streamed from his eyes at the unhappy remembrance. He agreed with the Albion who had presented him with the universe in epitome, when he averred that the inhabitants of the banks of the Thames were a thousand times better instructed than those upon the banks of the Nile, the Euphrates, and the Ganges.

His eyes and imagination roamed over this small space; he looked at the Rhine, the Danube, the Alps of Tyrol, each noted by their different names, and all the places he would travel through before reaching the city of the Seven Mountains. But he especially focused on the land of the Gangarids, on Babylon, where he had seen his beloved princess, and on the region of Bassora, where she had given a fateful kiss to the king of Egypt. He sighed, and tears flowed from his eyes at the painful memory. He agreed with the Albion who had given him the world in a nutshell when he claimed that the people living by the Thames were a thousand times better educated than those living by the Nile, the Euphrates, and the Ganges.

As he returned into Batavia, Formosanta proceeded toward Albion with her two ships at full sail. Amazan's ship and the princess's crossed one another and almost touched; the two lovers were close to each other, without being conscious of the fact. Ah! had they but known it! But this great consolation tyrannic destiny would not allow.

As he returned to Batavia, Formosanta headed toward Albion with her two ships sailing full speed ahead. Amazan's ship and the princess's passed by each other and nearly brushed against one another; the two lovers were so close, yet unaware of it. If only they had known! But this great comfort was not something that cruel fate would permit.


IX.

AMAZAN IN ROME.

No sooner had Amazan landed on the flat muddy shore of Batavia, than he immediately set out toward the city of the Seven Mountains. He was obliged to traverse the southern part of Germany. At every four miles he met with a prince and princess, maids of honor, and beggars. He was greatly astonished every where at the coquetries of these ladies and maids of honor, in which they indulged with German good faith. After having cleared the Alps he embarked upon the sea of Dalmatia, and landed in a city that had no resemblance to any thing he had heretofore seen. The sea formed the streets, and the houses were erected in the water. The few public places, with which this city was ornamented, were filled with men and women with double faces—that which nature had bestowed on them, and a pasteboard one, ill painted, with which they covered their natural visage; so that this people seemed composed of spectres. Upon the arrival of strangers in this country, they immediately purchase these visages, in the same manner as people elsewhere furnish themselves with hats and shoes. Amazan despised a fashion so contrary to nature. He appeared just as he was.

No sooner had Amazan landed on the flat, muddy shore of Batavia than he set out for the city of the Seven Mountains. He had to travel through the southern part of Germany. Every four miles, he encountered princes and princesses, maids of honor, and beggars. He was greatly surprised everywhere by the flirtations of these ladies and maids of honor, which they engaged in with German sincerity. After crossing the Alps, he took to the sea of Dalmatia and arrived in a city that was unlike anything he had seen before. The sea served as the streets, and the houses were built on the water. The few public spaces that decorated this city were crowded with men and women who had two faces—one that nature gave them and another made of poorly-painted cardboard that they used to cover their real faces, making these people look like ghosts. When strangers arrived in this country, they immediately bought these masks, just as people elsewhere buy hats and shoes. Amazan despised such a fashion that was so unnatural. He presented himself just as he was.

Many ladies were introduced, and interested themselves in the handsome Amazan. But he fled with the utmost precipitancy, uttering the name of the incomparable princess of Babylon, and swearing by the immortal gods, that she was far handsomer than the Venetian girls.

Many ladies were introduced and took an interest in the handsome Amazan. But he hurried away in a panic, mentioning the incomparable princess of Babylon and swearing by the immortal gods that she was much more beautiful than the Venetian girls.

"Sublime traitoress," he cried, in his transports, "I will teach you to be faithful!"

"Sublime traitor," he shouted, in his excitement, "I'll show you how to be loyal!"

Now the yellow surges of the Tiber, pestiferous fens, a few pale emaciated inhabitants clothed in tatters which displayed their dry tanned hides, appeared to his sight, and bespoke his arrival at the gate of the city of the Seven Mountains,—that city of heroes and legislators who conquered and polished a great part of the globe.

Now the yellow waves of the Tiber, unhealthy marshes, and a few pale, thin inhabitants dressed in rags that revealed their dry, sun-baked skin, came into view, signaling his arrival at the gate of the city of the Seven Mountains—home to the heroes and lawmakers who conquered and refined much of the world.

He expected to have seen at the triumphal gate, five hundred battalions commanded by heroes, and in the senate an assembly of demi-gods giving laws to the earth. But the only army he found consisted of about thirty tatterdemalions, mounting guard with umbrellas for fear of the sun. Having arrived at a temple which appeared to him very fine, but not so magnificent as that of Babylon, he was greatly astonished to hear a concert performed by men with female voices.

He thought he would see, at the triumphal gate, five hundred battalions led by heroes, and in the senate an assembly of demigods making laws for the world. But the only army he found consisted of about thirty ragtag soldiers, standing guard with umbrellas to shield themselves from the sun. When he got to a temple that seemed very nice but not as grand as the one in Babylon, he was really surprised to hear a concert performed by men with female voices.

"This," said he, "is a mighty pleasant country, which was formerly the land of Saturn. I have been in a city where no one showed his own face; here is another where men have neither their own voices nor beards."

"This," he said, "is a really nice country that used to be the land of Saturn. I've been to a city where no one revealed their own face; here is another where people have neither their own voices nor beards."

He was told that these eunuchs had been trained from childhood, that they might sing the more agreeably the praises of a great number of persons of merit. Amazan could not comprehend the meaning of this.

He was told that these eunuchs had been trained from a young age so they could sing more pleasantly the praises of many deserving individuals. Amazan couldn’t understand what this meant.

They then explained to him very pleasantly, and with many gesticulations, according to the custom of their country, the point in question. Amazan was quite confounded.

They then explained to him very nicely, using lots of gestures, as is customary in their country, the issue at hand. Amazan was completely bewildered.

"I have traveled a great way," said he, "but I never before heard such a whim."

"I've traveled a long way," he said, "but I've never heard anything like this before."

After they had sung a good while, the Old Man of the Seven Mountains went with great ceremony to the gate of the temple. He cut the air in four parts with his thumb raised, two fingers extended and two bent, in uttering these words in a language no longer spoken: "To the city and to the universe." Amazan could not see how two fingers could extend so far.

After they had sung for a long time, the Old Man of the Seven Mountains walked with great ceremony to the temple gate. He split the air into four parts with his thumb raised, two fingers extended, and two fingers bent, while saying these words in a language that was no longer spoken: "To the city and to the universe." Amazan couldn’t understand how two fingers could stretch so far.

He presently saw the whole court of the master of the world file off. This court consisted of grave personages, some in scarlet, and others in violet robes. They almost all eyed the handsome Amazan with a tender look; and bowed to him, while commenting upon his personal appearance.

He now saw the entire court of the master of the world leave. This court was made up of serious figures, some dressed in scarlet and others in violet robes. Almost all of them looked at the handsome Amazan with a soft gaze and bowed to him while commenting on his looks.

The zealots whose vocation was to show the curiosities of the city to strangers, very eagerly offered to conduct him to several ruins, in which a muleteer would not choose to pass a night, but which were formerly worthy monuments of the grandeur of a royal people. He moreover saw pictures of two hundred years standing, and statues that had remained twenty ages, which appeared to him masterpieces of their kind.

The tour guides whose job was to show the city's wonders to visitors eagerly offered to take him to various ruins that a mule driver wouldn't dare spend the night in, but which used to be impressive symbols of a once-great kingdom. He also saw paintings that were two hundred years old and statues that had stood for twenty ages, which he considered masterpieces of their kind.

"Can you still produce such work?" said Amazan.

"Can you still create work like that?" said Amazan.

"No, your excellency," replied one of the zealots; "but we despise the rest of the earth, because we preserve these rarities. We are a kind of old clothes men, who derive our glory from the cast-off garbs in our warehouses."

"No, your excellency," replied one of the zealots; "but we look down on the rest of the world because we take care of these rarities. We're like thrift store owners who take pride in the discarded clothes in our inventory."

Amazan was willing to see the prince's palace, and he was accordingly conducted thither. He saw men dressed in violet colored robes, who were reckoning the money of the revenues of the domains of lands, some situated upon the Danube, some upon the Loire, others upon the Guadalquivir, or the Vistula.

Amazan was eager to visit the prince's palace, so he was taken there. He saw men in violet robes who were counting the money from the land revenues, some located by the Danube, some by the Loire, and others by the Guadalquivir or the Vistula.

"Oh! Oh!" said Amazan, having consulted his geographical map, "your master, then, possesses all Europe, like those ancient heroes of the Seven Mountains?"

"Oh! Oh!" said Amazan, after looking at his map, "so your master has all of Europe, just like those ancient heroes of the Seven Mountains?"

"He should possess the whole universe by divine right," replied a violet-livery man; "and there was even a time when his predecessors nearly compassed universal monarchy, but their successors are so good as to content themselves at present with some monies which the kings, their subjects, pay to them in the form of a tribute."

"He should rightfully own the entire universe," replied a man in a violet uniform; "and there was a time when his predecessors nearly achieved universal rule, but their successors are kind enough to be satisfied at the moment with some money that the kings, their subjects, pay them as tribute."

"Your master is then, in fact, the king of kings. Is that his title?" said Amazan.

"Your master is actually the king of kings. Is that his title?" said Amazan.

The Old Man of the Seven Mountains. The Old Man of the Seven Mountains.—"The Old Man of the Seven Mountains went with great ceremony to the temple gate. He sliced the air into four parts with his thumb raised, two fingers extended, and two bent, while saying these words in a language that is no longer spoken: 'To the city and to the universe.'"

"Your excellency, his title is the servant of servants! He was originally a fisherman and porter, wherefore the emblems of his dignity consist of keys and nets; but he at present issues orders to every king in Christendom. It is not a long while since he sent one hundred and one mandates to a king of the Celts, and the king obeyed."

"Your excellency, his title is the servant of servants! He used to be a fisherman and a porter, which is why the symbols of his authority are keys and nets; however, he currently gives orders to every king in Christendom. Not long ago, he sent one hundred and one mandates to a Celtic king, and the king followed them."

THE SERVANT OF SERVANTS.

The personal service of Pius IX. as it existed in 1873, without counting Swiss gensdarmes, palatine guards, &c., is thus described by the author of The Religion of Rome, page 21.

The personal service of Pius IX as it was in 1873, excluding Swiss guards and palatine guards, is described by the author of The Religion of Rome, page 21.

"The pope for his own exclusive personal service has four palatine cardinals, three prelates and a master, ten prelates of the private chamber, amongst whom are a cup-bearer, and a keeper of the wardrobe; then two hundred and fifteen domestic prelates. Then follow two hundred and forty-nine supernumerary prelates of the private chamber, four private chamberlains of the sword and cloak, Roman patricians, one of whom is a master of Santo Ospizto.

"The pope has four cardinal aides specifically for his personal service, three prelates, and a master, along with ten private chamber prelates, which includes a cup-bearer and a wardrobe keeper; there are also two hundred and fifteen domestic prelates. Following that, there are two hundred and forty-nine additional private chamber prelates, four private chamberlains responsible for the sword and cloak, Roman patricians, one of whom manages Santo Ospizto."

"What things are these? what service do these private chamberlains render? what is the use of this cloak and sword? We will undertake to say that they do not know themselves. Let us proceed. Then come next a quarter-master major, a correspondent general of the post, and one hundred and thirty fresh private chamberlains of the sword and cloak! Oh! it is a labor to count them! Next come two hundred and sixty-five honorary monsignori extra urbem, six honorary chamberlains of the sword and cloak, then eight private chaplains. What a number of private affairs must the pope have? Then eighty-one honorary chaplains extra urbem; then—but enough, enough, enough!

"What do all these roles mean? What do these personal attendants actually do? What’s the purpose of this cloak and sword? We bet they don’t even know themselves. Moving on, there’s a quarter-master major, a general post correspondent, and one hundred thirty new personal attendants with sword and cloak! Oh! It’s a hassle to count them! Then come two hundred sixty-five honorary monsignors extra urbem, six honorary attendants with sword and cloak, followed by eight personal chaplains. How many private matters could the pope possibly have? Then eighty-one honorary chaplains extra urbem; then—but that’s enough, enough, enough!"

"No! not enough for the pope. Then come two private monsignori of the tonsure—still private!—then eighteen supernumeraries: two adjutants of the chamber, a private steward—again private!—then nineteen ushers, participants, and twenty-four supernumeraries. Then—ah! there are no more. Let us cast up those we have named; they amount only to a bagatelle of one thousand and twenty-five persons! And take note, that there are not included in this list the palatine administration, and the tribunal of the majordomo, the Swiss guards, the gensdarmes, etc., etc.

"No! That’s not enough for the pope. Then there are two private monsignors of the tonsure—still private!—followed by eighteen extras: two chamber adjutants, a private steward—again, private!—then nineteen ushers, participants, and twenty-four extras. Then—ah! That’s it. Let’s tally those we’ve mentioned; they total a mere one thousand and twenty-five people! And remember, this list doesn’t even include the palatine administration, the tribunal of the majordomo, the Swiss guards, the gendarmes, etc., etc."

"If it be difficult for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven, how shall he who inhabits the Vatican enter there?—who has treasures of all sorts, money, precious gems, precious and countless works of art, vessels of silver and gold, and who has on his head not one crown but three? who causes himself to be borne on the shoulders of men; who causes them to kiss his feet; who has millions of income, and a thousand persons to attend upon him?

"If it's difficult for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven, how can someone living in the Vatican hope to get in? They possess all kinds of treasures, money, precious gems, countless works of art, silver and gold vessels, and not just one crown but three on their head. They have attendants carrying them, make others kiss their feet, enjoy a million-dollar income, and have a thousand people catering to them?"

"There is, in fact, nothing to be compared with the effrontery with which the Vatican enacts the comedy of poverty. Yes, it has reason to believe still in miracles; it is an actual miracle which the Roman court works, in drawing from the pockets of the poor the obolus necessary to buy them bread, to spend it before their faces in Sybaritic luxury, in a palace of The Thousand and One Nights. On the day of Epiphany, the Jesuits sent to the Vatican some hundreds of women and children of the Trastevere, to carry to the pope a gift of money. The children to succor the poverty of the pope, who consumes on himself and household enough to maintain a whole city, gave him the money which they had received in gifts from their parents, and the women of the Trastevere, the few pence that they had laid aside for the needs of their families.

"There's truly nothing that matches the audacity with which the Vatican showcases its act of poverty. Yes, they still believe in miracles; it’s a miracle how the Roman court manages to extract money from the poor to buy them bread, only to spend it right in front of them on opulent luxury in a palace reminiscent of The Thousand and One Nights. On Epiphany, the Jesuits sent several hundred women and children from Trastevere to the Vatican to bring the pope a monetary gift. The children contributed the money they had received as gifts from their parents for the pope's needs, while the women from Trastevere gave the few coins they had saved for their own families."

"But what is most extraordinary is, that these women and children who bestowed their charity on the pope, went to do it into halls full of gold, marble, precious stones, velvet, silk, embroidery, paintings, and statues, into the Vatican, that gigantic palace, which occupies a space of fifteen hundred feet in length, and eight hundred in breadth, with twenty courts, two hundred staircases, eleven thousand rooms, galleries and halls full of treasures, and the construction of which has cost hundreds of millions. These children and these women passing through so much wealth never were struck with the idea that Pius IX. ought to be something more than a beggar; that there is no monarch in the world who has an abode like the popes of Rome—the very sight of the gifts sent by all the world to Pius IX. being enough to strike them dumb with astonishment.

"But what’s most shocking is that these women and children who offered their charity to the pope walked into halls filled with gold, marble, precious stones, velvet, silk, embroidery, paintings, and statues, inside the Vatican, which is a massive palace stretching fifteen hundred feet long and eight hundred feet wide, with twenty courtyards, two hundred staircases, and eleven thousand rooms, galleries, and halls filled with treasures, built at a cost of hundreds of millions. These children and women, passing through such immense wealth, never seem to realize that Pius IX should be more than just a beggar; that there is no monarch in the world with a residence like the popes of Rome—just seeing the gifts sent to Pius IX from around the world would leave them in speechless awe."

"Now these women and these children don't comprehend this, and here is the miracle. This Pius IX. ought to go into the cottages of these poor women and take them money, instead of their going to carry it into the luxurious palace of the pope.

"Now these women and children don't get this, and here’s the miracle. Pius IX should visit the homes of these poor women and give them money, instead of them bringing it to the luxurious palace of the pope."

"The miracle becomes still greater every time that the Pope, replying to those who bring money, talks of Jesus; for Jesus was in a stable, not in a palace of eleven thousand rooms. Jesus would at once have sent away the Swiss, the gensdarmes, the palatine guards, the chamberlains private and not private, etc., and would have said to the people of the Trastevere, and of the quarters of the poor: 'Come here into the Vatican, poor people, leave those wretched cabins where you suffer so much; come to me; I have eleven thousand rooms to offer you, one of which is quite enough for me, and so I will divide these amongst those who have none.' This would have been said by Christ, whom Pius IX. invokes so often, calling himself His vicar or steward. But try, ye poor, to enter into the Vatican, and you will find at once at the door a Swiss, who will chase you away by blows of his halberd. He will let in anyone who comes to bring money, but not a soul who comes to ask for it."—E.

"The miracle becomes even greater each time the Pope, in response to those who bring money, speaks about Jesus; because Jesus was born in a stable, not in a palace with eleven thousand rooms. Jesus would have immediately dismissed the Swiss guards, the police, the royal guards, the private and public chamberlains, etc., and would have called to the people of Trastevere and the poor neighborhoods: 'Come here into the Vatican, you poor people, leave those miserable shacks where you suffer so much; come to me; I have eleven thousand rooms to offer you, and one is enough for me, so I will share these with those who have none.' This is what Christ would have said, whom Pius IX frequently invokes, referring to himself as His representative or steward. But try, you poor folks, to enter the Vatican, and you will immediately encounter a Swiss guard at the door who will drive you away with blows from his halberd. He will allow anyone in who comes to bring money, but not a single soul who comes to ask for it."—E.


"Your fisherman must then have sent five or six hundred thousand men to put these orders in execution?"

"Did your fisherman really send five or six hundred thousand men to carry out these orders?"

"Not at all, your excellency. Our holy master is not rich enough to keep ten thousand soldiers on foot: but he has five or six hundred thousand divine prophets dispersed in other countries. These prophets of various colors are, as they ought to be, supported at the expense of the people where they reside. They proclaim, from heaven, that my master may, with his keys, open and shut all locks, and particularly those of strong boxes. A Norman priest, who held the post of confident of this king's thoughts, convinced him he ought to obey, without questioning, the one hundred and one thoughts of my master; for you must know that one of the prerogatives of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains is never to err, whether he deigns to speak or deigns to write."

"Not at all, your excellency. Our holy master isn't wealthy enough to maintain ten thousand soldiers: but he has five or six hundred thousand divine prophets scattered in other countries. These prophets of various backgrounds are, as they should be, funded by the people where they live. They declare, from on high, that my master can, with his keys, open and close all locks, especially those of strongboxes. A Norman priest, who served as a confidant of this king's thoughts, convinced him he should follow without question the one hundred and one ideas of my master; for you should know that one of the privileges of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains is never to be wrong, whether he chooses to speak or to write."

"In faith," said Amazan, "this is a very singular man; I should be pleased to dine with him."

"In all honesty," said Amazan, "this is a very interesting guy; I'd love to have dinner with him."

"Were your excellency even a king, you could not eat at his table. All that he could do for you, would be to allow you to have one served by the side of his, but smaller and lower. But if you are inclined to have the honor of speaking to him, I will ask an audience for you on condition of the buona mancia, which you will be kind enough to give me." "Very readily," said the Gangarid. The violet-livery man bowed: "I will introduce you to-morrow," said he. "You must make three very low bows, and you must kiss the feet of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains." At this information Amazan burst into so violent a fit of laughing that he was almost choked; which, however, he surmounted, holding his sides, whilst the violent emotions of the risible muscles forced the tears down his cheeks, till he reached the inn, where the fit still continued upon him.

"Were you even a king, you wouldn’t be allowed to eat at his table. All he could do is let you have a smaller, lower table beside his. But if you want the honor of speaking to him, I can arrange an audience for you, provided you give me a tip, which I would appreciate." "Absolutely," said the Gangarid. The man in violet bowed: "I’ll introduce you tomorrow," he said. "You need to bow three times very low and kiss the feet of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains." At this, Amazan burst into such a fit of laughter that he almost choked; however, he managed to get through it, holding his sides, while the force of his laughter sent tears down his cheeks, right until he reached the inn, where the laughter still had a hold on him.

At dinner, twenty beardless men and twenty violins produced a concert. He received the compliments of the greatest lords of the city during the remainder of the day; but from their extravagant actions, he was strongly tempted to throw two or three of these violet-colored gentry out of the window. He left with the greatest precipitation this city of the masters of the world, where young men were treated so whimsically, and where he found himself necessitated to kiss an old man's toe, as if his cheek were at the end of his foot.

At dinner, twenty clean-shaven guys and twenty violins put on a concert. He received compliments from the city’s top lords for the rest of the day; however, their over-the-top behavior made him seriously consider tossing a couple of these fancy-colored guys out the window. He quickly left this city of the world's elite, where young men were treated so unpredictably, and where he found himself forced to kiss an old man's toe, as if his cheek were at the end of the guy’s foot.


X.

A MISADVENTURE IN GAUL.

In all the provinces through which Amazan passed, he remained ever faithful to the princess of Babylon, though incessantly enraged at the king of Egypt. This model of constancy at length arrived at the new capital of the Gauls. This city, like many others, had alternately submitted to barbarity, ignorance, folly, and misery. The first name it bore was Dirt and Mire; it then took that of Isis, from the worship of Isis, which had reached even here. Its first senate consisted of a company of watermen. It had long been in bondage, and submitted to the ravages of the heroes of the Seven Mountains; and some ages after, some other heroic thieves who came from the farther banks of the Rhine, had seized upon its little lands.

In all the provinces that Amazan traveled through, he remained devoted to the princess of Babylon, while constantly angry with the king of Egypt. This paragon of loyalty eventually reached the new capital of the Gauls. This city, like many others, had gone through periods of savagery, ignorance, foolishness, and hardship. It was originally called Dirt and Mire; then it was named Isis, after the worship of Isis that had spread even here. Its first governing body was made up of a group of watermen. It had endured a long period of oppression and suffered from the destruction caused by the heroes of the Seven Mountains; and many years later, other heroic thieves from the distant banks of the Rhine took control of its small lands.

Time, which changes all things, had formed it into a city, half of which was very noble and very agreeable, the other half somewhat barbarous and ridiculous. This was the emblem of its inhabitants. There were within its walls at least a hundred thousand people, who had no other employment than play and diversion. These idlers were the judges of those arts which the others cultivated. They were ignorant of all that passed at court; though they were only four short miles distant from it: but it seemed to them at least six hundred thousand miles off. Agreeableness in company, gaiety and frivolty, formed the important and sole considerations of their lives. They were governed like children, who are extravagantly supplied with gewgaws, to prevent their crying. If the horrors were discussed, which two centuries before had laid waste their country, or if those dreadful periods were recalled, when one half of the nation massacred the other for sophisms, they, indeed, said, "this was not well done;" then, presently, they fell to laughing again, or singing of catches.

Time, which changes everything, had transformed it into a city, with one half being very noble and pleasant, while the other half was somewhat barbaric and ridiculous. This reflected the character of its residents. Inside its walls were at least a hundred thousand people who spent their time on play and entertainment. These idlers decided the worth of the arts that others practiced. They knew nothing of what happened at the court, even though it was only four miles away; to them, it felt like six hundred thousand miles. Socializing, fun, and trivial matters were the main focus of their lives. They were managed like children, who are given a lot of toys to keep them from crying. When the terrible events that devastated their country two centuries earlier were mentioned, or the horrifying times when one half of the nation slaughtered the other over arguments, they would say, "that was not right," but soon after, they would burst into laughter again or start singing.

Kissing an old man's toe. Kissing an elderly man's toe.
KISSING THE POPE'S FOOT.

On page 181 of The Religion of Rome, the author asks the questions: "Why does the pope cause his foot, or rather his slipper, to be kissed? And when did this custom begin?" His explanation is as follows:

On page 181 of The Religion of Rome, the author poses the questions: "Why does the pope have his foot, or rather his slipper, kissed? And when did this tradition begin?" Here's the explanation:

"Theophilus Rainaldo and the Bollandist fathers, as well as other Roman Catholic authors, tell us a gallant story of Pope St. Leo I., called the Great, which, if it were true, might show the origin of the practice. They say that a young and very handsome devotee was admitted on Easter day, to kiss the hand of Pope St. Leo after the mass. The pope felt himself very much excited by this kiss, and remembering the words of the Savior, 'If thy hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee' (Matt. v. 30), he at once cut off his hand. But as he was unable to perform mass with only one hand, the people were in a great rage. The pope therefore prayed to God to restore his hand, and God complied: his hand was again united to the stump. And to avoid such dilemmas in future, Leo ordered that thereafter no one should kiss his hand, but only his foot. A very little common sense is sufficient to make us understand that such was not the origin of this custom.

"Theophilus Rainaldo and the Bollandist fathers, along with other Roman Catholic authors, tell an interesting story about Pope St. Leo I, known as the Great, which, if true, could explain the origin of this practice. They recount that on Easter Sunday, a young and very attractive worshipper was allowed to kiss the hand of Pope St. Leo after mass. The pope was quite moved by this kiss, and recalling the Savior’s words, 'If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away' (Matt. v. 30), he immediately cut off his hand. However, since he couldn’t perform mass with just one hand, the crowd became very angry. The pope then prayed to God to restore his hand, and God granted his request: his hand was reattached to the stump. To avoid such situations in the future, Leo decreed that no one should kiss his hand anymore, but only his foot. A little common sense shows us that this was not the true origin of the custom."

"The first who invented this degrading act of kissing feet was the Emperor Caligula. He, in his quality of Pontifex Maximus, ordered the people to kiss his foot. Succeeding emperors refused such an act of base slavery. But Heliogabalus, as emperor, and Pontifex Maximus, again introduced it. After him, the custom fell into disuse; but the Christian emperors retaining some of the wicked fables given to the pagan emperors, permitted the kissing of the foot as a compliment on the presentation of petitions. We may cite a few instances. The acts of the Council of Chalcedon say that Fazius, Bishop of Tyre, in his petition to the emperor, said, 'I supplicate, prostrate, at your immaculate and divine feet.' Bassianus, Bishop of Ephesus, says, 'I prostrate myself at your feet.' Eunomius, Bishop of Nicomedia, says, 'I prostrate myself before the footsteps of your power.' The Abbot Saba says, 'I am come to adore the footsteps of your piety. Prococius, in his History of Mysteries, says that the Emperor Justinian, at the instigation of the proud Theodora, his wife, was the first amongst the Christian emperors who ordered prostrations before himself and his wife, and the kissing of their feet.

"The first person to create this humiliating act of kissing feet was Emperor Caligula. As Pontifex Maximus, he commanded people to kiss his foot. Later emperors rejected such a demeaning act. However, Heliogabalus, another emperor and Pontifex Maximus, brought it back. After his reign, the practice fell out of favor, but the Christian emperors, keeping some of the corrupt traditions of the pagan emperors, allowed foot kissing as a sign of respect when petitions were presented. We can cite a few examples. The records of the Council of Chalcedon mention that Fazius, Bishop of Tyre, in his appeal to the emperor, stated, 'I supplicate, prostrate, at your immaculate and divine feet.' Bassianus, Bishop of Ephesus, said, 'I prostrate myself at your feet.' Eunomius, Bishop of Nicomedia, mentioned, 'I prostrate myself before the footsteps of your power.' The Abbot Saba remarked, 'I have come to adore the footsteps of your piety.' Prococius, in his History of Mysteries, notes that Emperor Justinian, influenced by his proud wife Theodora, was the first among Christian emperors to command prostrations before himself and his wife, along with foot kissing."

"The ecclesiastics, the bishops, and, finally, the popes, were not exempt from paying this homage to the emperors. The prelates of Syria held this language to the Emperor Justinian. 'The pope of holy memory, and the archbishop of ancient Rome, has come to your pious conversation, and has been honored by your holy feet.' Pope Gregory I., writing to Theodorus, the physician of the Emperor Mauritius, in the year A.D. 593, said: 'My tongue cannot sufficiently express the great benefits that I have received from God Almighty and from our great emperor, for which I can only love him and kiss his feet.' In the year A.D. 681 Pope Agathon, sending his legates to the sixth council, writes to the Emperor Constantine Pogonatus: 'As prostrate in your presence, and embracing your feet, I implore you,' etc. In the seventh century, therefore, not only did the popes not have their feet kissed, but they themselves were obliged to kiss those of the emperor. Becoming sovereigns of Rome, they soon began to adopt the same custom. Pope Eugenius II., who died in 827, was the first who made it the law to kiss the papal foot. From that time it was necessary to kneel before the popes. Gregory VII. ordered all princes to submit to this practice.

The clergy, bishops, and even the popes had to show respect to the emperors. The church leaders in Syria communicated this to Emperor Justinian: "The late pope and the archbishop of ancient Rome have come to your gracious meeting and have been honored by your holy feet." Pope Gregory I wrote to Theodorus, the physician of Emperor Mauritius, in A.D. 593, saying, "I can't fully express the incredible blessings I've received from God Almighty and our great emperor, for which I can only love him and kiss his feet." In A.D. 681, Pope Agathon, while sending his representatives to the sixth council, wrote to Emperor Constantine Pogonatus: "As I lie prostrate before you, kissing your feet, I implore you," etc. So, in the seventh century, not only did the popes not receive the honor of having their feet kissed, but they were also expected to kiss the emperor's feet. As they became the rulers of Rome, they began to adopt the same practice. Pope Eugenius II, who died in 827, was the first to make it a rule to kiss the papal foot. From that point on, it became necessary to kneel before the popes. Gregory VII mandated that all princes follow this practice.

"From what we have said it is clear that the origin of feet-kissing was entirely pagan and idolatrous. That this custom is in total contradiction to the precepts of the Gospel would be a waste of words to assert. Jesus Christ was so far from desiring people to kiss his feet, that he set himself on one occasion to wash the feet of his disciples. These are the words of the Gospel: 'He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel and girded himself. After that he poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.'

"From what we’ve discussed, it’s clear that the practice of kissing feet originated from pagan and idolatrous traditions. It's unnecessary to point out how completely this custom goes against the teachings of the Gospel. In fact, Jesus Christ was so far from wanting people to kiss his feet that he once took the time to wash his disciples' feet instead. The Gospel records: 'He got up from supper, took off his outer garments, wrapped a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel he was wearing.'”

"This act of Jesus Christ is in perfect keeping (John xiii. 4.5) with all his precepts, with his inculcations of modesty, equality, humility, and with his condemnation of those who set themselves above others. Who would have said that a day would come in which those claiming to be his vicars should cause people to kiss their feet? How thoroughly has Catholicism borrowed from paganism its idolatries? And notwithstanding this flagrant violation of the religion of Christ, what a herd of people go and press their lips on the slipper of the pope, as was done formerly to the Roman emperors, the pontifices maximi, that is to say, the priests of Jove."—E.

"This act of Jesus Christ aligns perfectly (John 13:4-5) with all His teachings about modesty, equality, and humility and with His condemnation of those who elevate themselves above others. Who would have imagined that a day would come when those claiming to be His representatives would make people kiss their feet? How deeply has Catholicism borrowed from paganism in its idolatries? Despite this blatant breach of Christ's teachings, so many people go and press their lips to the pope's slipper, just like they used to do for the Roman emperors, the pontifices maximi, or priests of Jupiter."—E.


In proportion as the idlers were polished, agreeable, and amiable, it was observed that there was a greater and more shocking contrast between them and those who were engaged in business.

As the lazy people became more refined, nice, and friendly, it was noticed that there was a bigger and more shocking difference between them and those who were busy with work.

Among the latter, or such as pretended so to be, there was a gang of melancholy fanatics, whose absurdity and knavery divided their character,—whose appearance alone diffused misery,—and who would have overturned the world, had they been able to gain a little credit. But the nation of idlers, by dancing and singing, forced them into obscurity in their caverns, as the warbling birds drive the croaking bats back to their holes and ruins.

Among the latter, or those who claimed to be, there was a group of gloomy fanatics, whose foolishness and deceit split their character—whose mere presence spread misery—and who would have toppled the world if they had managed to gain some credibility. But the nation of idlers, through their dancing and singing, pushed them into obscurity in their caves, just as singing birds chase the croaking bats back to their hiding places.

A smaller number of those who were occupied, were the preservers of ancient barbarous customs, against which nature, terrified, loudly exclaimed. They consulted nothing but their worm-eaten registers. If they there discovered a foolish or horrid custom, they considered it as a sacred law. It was from this vile practice of not daring to think for themselves, but extracting their ideas from the ruins of those times when no one thought at all, that in the metropolis of pleasure there still remained some shocking manners. Hence it was that there was no proportion between crimes and punishments. A thousand deaths were sometimes inflicted upon an innocent victim, to make him acknowledge a crime he had not committed.

A smaller group of those in power were the keepers of outdated barbaric customs, which nature, in its fury, protested against loudly. They relied solely on their decaying records. If they found a foolish or horrific practice in those records, they considered it a sacred law. This terrible habit of refusing to think for themselves and instead pulling their ideas from the remnants of an era when no one thought critically is what allowed some shocking behaviors to persist in the center of pleasure. Because of this, there was no balance between crimes and punishments. Sometimes, a thousand deaths were imposed on an innocent person to force them to confess to a crime they hadn’t committed.

The extravagancies of youth were punished with the same severity as murder or parricide. The idlers screamed loudly at these exhibitions, and the next day thought no more about them, but were buried in the contemplation of some new fashion.

The excesses of youth were punished just as harshly as murder or killing one's parents. The lazy ones shouted loudly at these displays, but the next day, they forgot all about them and became absorbed in some new trend.

This people saw a whole age elapse, in which the fine arts attained a degree of perfection that far surpassed the most sanguine hopes. Foreigners then repaired thither, as they did to Babylon, to admire the great monuments of architecture, the wonders of gardening, the sublime efforts of sculpture and painting. They were charmed with a species of music that reached the heart without astonishing the ears.

This people experienced a whole era during which the fine arts reached a level of perfection that exceeded the most optimistic expectations. Foreigners then flocked there, just like they did to Babylon, to admire the grand architectural monuments, the marvels of gardening, and the impressive works of sculpture and painting. They were captivated by a type of music that touched the heart without overwhelming the ears.

True poetry, that is to say, such as is natural and harmonious, that which addresses the heart as well as the mind, was unknown to this nation before this happy period. New kinds of eloquence displayed sublime beauties. The theatres in particular reëchoed with masterpieces that no other nation ever approached. In a word, good taste prevailed in every profession to that degree, that there were even good writers among the Druids.

True poetry, meaning natural and harmonious works that speak to both the heart and the mind, was not known to this nation before this fortunate time. New forms of eloquence showed off remarkable beauty. The theatres, in particular, were filled with masterpieces that no other nation has ever matched. In short, good taste was evident in every profession to the extent that even among the Druids, there were talented writers.

So many laurels that had branched even to the skies, soon withered in an exhausted soil. There remained but a very small number, whose leaves were of a pale dying verdure. This decay was occasioned by the facility of producing; laziness preventing good productions, and by a satiety of the brilliant, and a taste for the whimsical. Vanity protected arts that brought back times of barbarity; and this same vanity, in persecuting persons of real merit, forced them to quit their country. The hornets banished the bees.

So many laurels that had spread even to the skies quickly withered in depleted soil. Only a few remained, their leaves a pale, dying green. This decline was caused by the ease of creation; laziness hampered quality, and there was a saturation of the brilliant along with a craving for the quirky. Vanity upheld arts that harkened back to barbaric times, and this same vanity, by driving away those of true talent, forced them to leave their homeland. The hornets drove out the bees.

There were scarce any real arts, scarce any real genius, talent now consisted in reasoning right or wrong upon the merit of the last age. The dauber of a sign-post criticised with an air of sagacity the works of the greatest painters; and the blotters of paper disfigured the works of the greatest writers. Ignorance and bad taste had other daubers in their pay. The same things were repeated in a hundred volumes under different titles. Every work was either a dictionary or a pamphlet. A Druid gazetteer wrote twice a week the obscure annals of an unknown people possessed with the devil, and of celestial prodigies operated in garrets by little beggars of both sexes. Other Ex-Druids, dressed in black, ready to die with rage and hunger, set forth their complaints in a hundred different writings, that they were no longer allowed to cheat mankind—this privilege being conferred on some goats clad in grey; and some Arch-Druids were employed in printing defamatory libels.

There were hardly any real artists or genuine talent; skill now lay in debating the qualities of the previous century. A sign painter critiqued the works of the greatest artists with an air of wisdom, and amateur writers distorted the masterpieces of the finest authors. Ignorance and poor taste had their own hacks. The same ideas were repeated in hundreds of books with different titles. Every work was either a dictionary or a pamphlet. A Druid geographer published twice a week the obscure history of a little-known people supposedly possessed by demons, along with celestial wonders happening in attics by young beggars of both genders. Other former Druids, dressed in black and ready to collapse from anger and hunger, voiced their frustrations in countless writings, claiming they were no longer allowed to deceive the public—this privilege now awarded to some goats wearing gray; and some Arch-Druids were busy publishing slanderous pamphlets.

Amazan was quite ignorant of all this, and even if he had been acquainted with it, he would have given himself very little concern about it, having his head filled with nothing but the princess of Babylon, the king of Egypt, and the inviolable vow he had made to despise all female coquetry in whatever country his despair should drive him.

Amazan was completely unaware of all this, and even if he had known, he wouldn't have cared much about it. His mind was occupied only with thoughts of the princess of Babylon, the king of Egypt, and the unbreakable vow he had made to reject all female flirtation no matter where his despair took him.

The gaping ignorant mob, whose curiosity exceeds all the bounds of nature and reason, for a long time thronged about his unicorns. The more sensible women forced open the doors of his hotel to contemplate his person.

The ignorant crowd, whose curiosity knows no limits of nature or reason, gathered around his unicorns for a long time. The more sensible women pushed open the doors of his hotel to see him in person.

GAIETY AND FRIVOLITY. Fun and lightheartedness.—"Inside its walls, there are at least a hundred thousand people whose only job is to play and have fun."

He at first testified some desire of visiting the court; but some of the idlers, who constituted good company and casually went thither, informed him that it was quite out of fashion, that times were greatly changed, and that all amusements were confined to the city. He was invited that very night to sup with a lady whose sense and talents had reached foreign climes, and who had traveled in some countries through which Amazan had passed. This lady gave him great pleasure, as well as the society he met at her house. Here reigned a decent liberty, gaiety without tumult, silence without pedantry, and wit without asperity. He found that good company was not quite ideal, though the title was frequently usurped by pretenders. The next day he dined in a society far less amiable, but much more voluptuous. The more he was satisfied with the guests, the more they were pleased with him. He found his soul soften and dissolve, like the aromatics of his country, which gradually melt in a moderate heat, and exhale in delicious perfumes.

He initially expressed some interest in visiting the court, but some of the idlers, who made for good company and happened to go there, told him it was out of style, that times had changed a lot, and that all entertainment was now in the city. That very night, he was invited to dinner with a lady whose intelligence and talent were known in foreign lands, and who had traveled through some countries Amazan had been to. This lady delighted him, as did the company he met at her home. There was a nice sense of freedom, cheerful enjoyment without chaos, quietness without stuffiness, and humor without harshness. He realized that good company wasn’t quite what it seemed, even though the label was often claimed by posers. The next day, he dined in a group that was much less appealing but far more indulgent. The happier he felt with the guests, the more they enjoyed his presence. He sensed his spirit soften and dissolve, like the spices from his homeland that gradually melt in gentle heat and release delightful fragrances.

After dinner he was conducted to a place of public entertainment which was enchanting; but condemned, however, by the Druids, because it deprived them of their auditors, which, therefore, excited their jealousy. The representation here consisted of agreeable verses, delightful songs, dances which expressed the movements of the soul, and perspectives that charmed the eye in deceiving it. This kind of pastime, which included so many kinds, was known only under a foreign name. It was called an Opera, which formerly signified, in the language of the Seven Mountains, work, care, occupation, industry, enterprise, business. This exhibition enchanted him. A female singer, in particular, charmed him by her melodious voice, and the graces that accompanied her. This child of genius, after the performance, was introduced to him by his new friends. He presented her with a handful of diamonds; for which she was so grateful, that she could not leave him all the rest of the day. He supped with her and her companions, and during the delightful repast he forgot his sobriety, and became heated and oblivious with wine. What an instance of human frailty!

After dinner, he was taken to a public entertainment venue that was enchanting, though the Druids condemned it because it took away their audience, which made them jealous. The show featured enjoyable verses, delightful songs, dances that conveyed deep emotions, and stunning visuals that tricked the eye. This type of entertainment, which included many forms, was known by a foreign name: it was called an Opera, which used to mean work, effort, industry, and enterprise in the language of the Seven Mountains. He was captivated by the performance. A female singer, in particular, mesmerized him with her beautiful voice and the grace she brought to her performance. This talented artist was introduced to him by his new friends after the show. He gifted her a handful of diamonds, and she was so grateful that she couldn’t leave his side for the rest of the day. He dined with her and her friends, and during the delightful meal, he lost his restraint and became tipsy and forgetful with wine. What a reminder of human weakness!

The beautiful princess of Babylon arrived at this juncture, with her phœnix, her chambermaid Irla, and her two hundred Gangaridian cavaliers mounted on their unicorns. It was a long while before the gates were opened. She immediately asked, if the handsomest, the most courageous, the most sensible, and the most faithful of men was still in that city? The magistrates readily concluded that she meant Amazan. She was conducted to his hotel. How great was the palpitation of her heart!—the powerful operation of the tender passion. Her whole soul was penetrated with inexpressible joy, to see once more in her lover the model of constancy. Nothing could prevent her entering his chamber; the curtains were open; and she saw the beautiful Amazan asleep and stupefied with drink.

The beautiful princess of Babylon arrived at this point, along with her phoenix, her maid Irla, and her two hundred Gangaridian knights riding their unicorns. It took quite a while for the gates to open. She immediately asked if the most handsome, bravest, smartest, and most faithful man was still in that city. The officials quickly figured out that she was talking about Amazan. She was led to his place. How her heart raced!—the intense feeling of love. Her entire being was filled with indescribable joy at the sight of her lover, a true symbol of loyalty. Nothing could stop her from going into his room; the curtains were drawn back, and she saw the handsome Amazan asleep and out of it from drinking.

Formosanta expressed her grief with such screams as made the house echo. She swooned into the arms of Irla. As soon as she had recovered her senses, she retired from this fatal chamber with grief blended with rage.

Formosanta cried out in such a way that the house echoed with her screams. She fainted into Irla's arms. Once she regained her senses, she left that dreadful room, filled with a mix of sorrow and anger.

"Oh! just heaven; oh, powerful Oromasdes!" cried the beautiful princess of Babylon, bathed in tears. "By whom, and for whom am I thus betrayed? He that could reject for my sake so many princesses, to abandon me for the company of a strolling Gaul! No! I can never survive this affront."

"Oh! Just heaven; oh, powerful Oromasdes!" cried the beautiful princess of Babylon, crying tears. "Who has betrayed me, and for whom? The one who could refuse so many princesses for my sake has left me for a wandering Frenchman! No! I can never get over this insult."

"This is the disposition of all young people," said Irla to her, "from one end of the world to the other. Were they enamoured with a beauty descended from heaven, they would at certain moments forget her entirely."

"This is how all young people are," Irla said to her, "from one side of the world to the other. Even if they were in love with a beauty that came from heaven, they would sometimes completely forget her."

"It is done," said the princess, "I will never see him again whilst I live. Let us depart this instant, and let the unicorns be harnessed."

"It’s done," said the princess, "I will never see him again as long as I live. Let’s leave right now, and have the unicorns ready."

The phœnix conjured her to stay at least till Amazan awoke, that he might speak with him.

The phoenix urged her to stay at least until Amazan woke up so that he could talk to him.

"He does not deserve it," said the princess. "You would cruelly offend me. He would think that I had desired you to reproach him, and that I am willing to be reconciled to him. If you love me, do not add this injury to the insult he has offered me."

"He doesn’t deserve it," said the princess. "You would be hurting me. He would think that I wanted you to blame him, and that I’m ready to make up with him. If you love me, don’t add this offense to the insult he has already given me."

The phœnix, who after all owed his life to the daughter of the king of Babylon, could not disobey her. She set out with all her attendants.

The phoenix, who after all owed his life to the daughter of the king of Babylon, could not disobey her. She set out with all her attendants.

"Whither are you going?" said Irla to her.

"Where are you going?" Irla asked her.

"I do not know," replied the princess; "we will take the first road we find. Provided I fly from Amazan for ever, I am satisfied."

"I don't know," replied the princess; "we'll take the first road we find. As long as I can escape from Amazan for good, I'm happy."

Ancient barbarous customs. Ancient brutal customs.
ANCIENT BARBAROUS CUSTOMS.

William Howitt, in a note to his translation of The Religion of Rome, (page 19), points out very clearly the evils which have resulted to man from the sinister teaching of the upholders of ancient barbarous customs:—

William Howitt, in a note to his translation of The Religion of Rome, (page 19), clearly outlines the harm that has come to humanity from the damaging teachings of those who support ancient barbaric traditions:

"If anyone would satisfy himself of what Popery is at its centre; what it does where it has had its fullest sway, let him make a tour into the mountains in the vicinity of Rome, and see in a country exceedingly beautiful by nature, what is the condition of an extremely industrious population. In the rock towns of the Alban, Sabine, and Volscian hills, you find a swarming throng of men, women, and children, asses, pigs, and hens, all groveling in inconceivable filth, squalor, and poverty. Filth in the streets, in the houses, everywhere; fleas, fever, and small-pox, and the densest ignorance darkening minds of singular natural cleverness. A people brilliant in intellect, totally uneducated, and steeped in the grossest superstition.

"If anyone wants to understand what Catholicism really is at its core and what it does where it has the most influence, they should take a trip to the mountains near Rome and see for themselves the condition of a hardworking population in a naturally beautiful region. In the rocky towns of the Alban, Sabine, and Volscian hills, there’s a bustling crowd of men, women, and children, along with donkeys, pigs, and chickens, all living in unimaginable filth, squalor, and poverty. There’s dirt in the streets, in the houses, everywhere; fleas, fevers, and smallpox, and thick ignorance clouding the minds of people who have natural talent. It’s a community with great potential for intelligence but is completely uneducated and deeply rooted in the worst superstitions."

"These dens of dirt, disease and, till lately, or brigandage, are the evidences of a thousand years of priestly government! They, and the country around them, are chiefly the property of the great princely and ducal families which sprung out of the papal neposm of Rome, and have by successive popes, their founders, been loaded with the wealth of the nation. These families live in Rome, in their great palaces, amidst every luxury and splendor, surrounded by the finest works of art, and leave their tenants and dependents without any attention from them. Some steward or middleman screws the last soldo from them for rent; and when crops fail, lifts not a finger to alleviate their misery.

"These filthy places, filled with dirt and disease, and until recently, lawlessness, show a thousand years of priestly rule! They, along with the surrounding land, mostly belong to the powerful royal and ducal families that have emerged from the papal nepotism of Rome, and have been granted the nation’s wealth by successive popes, their founders. These families live in Rome, in their grand palaces, enjoying every luxury and comfort, surrounded by stunning works of art, while ignoring their tenants and dependents. Some steward or middleman squeezes the last penny from them for rent; and when crops fail, does nothing to help ease their suffering."

"And the Papal Government, too—a government pretendedly based on the direct ordination of Him who went about doing good—what has it done for them? Nothing but debauch their minds with idle ceremonies and unscriptural dogmas,—legends, priests, monks and beggary! The whole land is a land of beggars, made so by inculcated notions of a spurious charity. Every countrywoman, many men, and every child, boy or girl, are literally beggars—beggars importunate, unappeasable, irrepressible! What a condition of mind for a naturally noble and capable people to be reduced to by—a religion!"

"And the Papal Government, too—a government that’s supposedly based on the direct teachings of Him who went about doing good—what has it done for them? Nothing but corrupt their minds with pointless rituals and unbiblical beliefs—myths, priests, monks, and poverty! The entire country is filled with beggars, created by misguided ideas of fake charity. Every woman, many men, and every child, whether boy or girl, are literally beggars—beggars who are demanding, unyielding, and unstoppable! What a state of mind for a naturally noble and capable people to be brought down to by—a religion!"


The phœnix, who was wiser than Formosanta, because he was divested of passion, consoled her upon the road. He gently insinuated to her that it was shocking to punish one's self for the faults of another; that Amazan had given her proofs sufficiently striking and numerous of his fidelity, so that she should forgive him for having forgotten himself for one moment in social company; that this was the only time in which he had been wanting of the grace of Oromasdes; that it would render him only the more constant in love and virtue for the future; that the desire of expiating his fault would raise him beyond himself; that it would be the means of increasing her happiness; that many great princesses before her had forgiven such slips, and had had no reason to be sorry afterward; and he was so thoroughly possessed of the art of persuasion, that Formosanta's mind grew more calm and peaceable. She was now sorry she had set out so soon. She thought her unicorns went too fast, but she did not dare return. Great was the conflict between her desire of forgiving and that of showing her rage—between her love and vanity. However, her unicorns pursued their pace; and she traversed the world, according to the prediction of her father's oracle.

The phoenix, who was wiser than Formosanta because he was free from passion, comforted her on the journey. He gently suggested that it was unreasonable to punish herself for someone else's mistakes; that Amazan had shown her enough proof of his loyalty to deserve her forgiveness for one moment of distraction in social company; that this was the only time he had failed to embody the grace of Oromasdes; that it would only make him more devoted in love and virtue moving forward; that his desire to make amends would elevate him; that it would ultimately lead to her greater happiness; that many great princesses before her had forgiven such lapses and hadn’t regretted it afterward; and he was so skilled at persuasion that Formosanta began to feel more calm and at peace. She regretted having left so soon. She thought her unicorns were going too fast, but she didn't dare turn back. There was a great struggle between her wish to forgive and her impulse to express her anger—between her love and her pride. Nevertheless, her unicorns kept their pace, and she traveled the world, just as her father's oracle had predicted.

When Amazan awoke, he was informed of the arrival and departure of Formosanta and the phœnix. He was also told of the rage and distraction of the princess, and that she had sworn never to forgive him.

When Amazan woke up, he was told about the arrival and departure of Formosanta and the phoenix. He also learned about the princess's anger and distress and that she had vowed never to forgive him.

"Then," said he, "there is nothing left for me to do, but follow her, and kill myself at her feet."

"Then," he said, "there’s nothing left for me to do but follow her and throw myself at her feet."

The report of this adventure drew together his festive companions, who all remonstrated with him. They said that he had much better stay with them; that nothing could equal the pleasant life they led in the centre of arts and refined delicate pleasures; that many strangers, and even kings, preferred such an agreeable enchanting repose to their country and their thrones. Moreover, his vehicle was broken, and another was being made for him according to the newest fashion; that the best tailor of the whole city had already cut out for him a dozen suits in the latest style; that the most vivacious, amiable, and fashionable ladies, at whose houses dramatic performances were represented, had each appointed a day to give him a regale. The girl from the opera was in the meanwhile drinking her chocolate, laughing, singing, and ogling the beautiful Amazan—who by this time clearly perceived she had no more sense than a goose.

The report of this adventure brought together his party-loving friends, who all urged him to reconsider. They said he’d be much better off staying with them, enjoying the delightful life they lived in the heart of culture and refined pleasures; that many visitors, even kings, preferred this charming escape to their own countries and thrones. Plus, his vehicle was broken, and a new one was being made for him in the latest style; the best tailor in the city had already cut out a dozen suits for him in the trendiest designs; and the most lively, charming, and fashionable women, who hosted dramatic performances at their homes, had each set aside a day to treat him. Meanwhile, the girl from the opera was sipping her chocolate, laughing, singing, and flirting with the beautiful Amazan—who by this point clearly saw that she was as silly as a goose.

A sincerity, cordiality, and frankness, as well as magnanimity and courage, constituted the character of this great prince, he related his travels and misfortunes to his friends. They knew that he was cousin-german to the princess. They were informed of the fatal kiss she had given the king of Egypt. "Such little tricks," said they, "are often forgiven between relatives, otherwise one's whole life would pass in perpetual uneasiness."

A sincerity, friendliness, and honesty, along with generosity and bravery, defined the character of this great prince. He shared his travels and misfortunes with his friends. They knew he was a cousin of the princess. They were aware of the unfortunate kiss she had given the king of Egypt. "These little things," they remarked, "are often forgiven among family; otherwise, one would spend their entire life in constant anxiety."

Nothing could shake his design of pursuing Formosanta; but his carriage not being ready, he was compelled to remain three days longer among the idlers, who were still feasting and merry-making. He at length took his leave of them, by embracing them and making them accept some of his diamonds that were the best mounted, and recommending to them a constant pursuit of frivolity and pleasure, since they were thereby made more agreeable and happy.

Nothing could change his plan to pursue Formosanta; but since his carriage wasn't ready, he had to spend three more days with the idle crowd, who were still feasting and having fun. Eventually, he said goodbye to them, hugging them and giving them some of his best-mounted diamonds, while encouraging them to keep seeking frivolity and pleasure, as it made them more pleasant and happy.

"The Germans," said he, "are the greyheads of Europe; the people of Albion are men formed; the inhabitants of Gaul are the children,—and I love to play with children."

"The Germans," he said, "are the old heads of Europe; the people of Britain are fully grown men; the people of France are like children,—and I love to play with children."


XI.

Amazan and Formosanta reconcile.

The guides had no difficulty in following the route the princess had taken. There was nothing else talked of but her and her large bird. All the inhabitants were still in a state of fascination. The banks of the Loire, of the Dordogue—the Garonne, and the Gironde, still echoed with acclamation.

The guides had no trouble following the path the princess had taken. All anyone could talk about was her and her big bird. Everyone was still completely captivated. The banks of the Loire, the Dordogne, the Garonne, and the Gironde still echoed with cheers.

When Amazan reached the foot of the Pyrenees, the magistrates and Druids of the country made him dance, whether he would or not, a Tambourin; but as soon as he cleared the Pyrenees, nothing presented itself that was either gay or joyous. If he here and there heard a peasant sing, it was a doleful ditty. The inhabitants stalked with much gravity, having a few strung beads and a girted poniard. The nation dressed in black, and appeared to be in mourning.

When Amazan arrived at the base of the Pyrenees, the local magistrates and Druids made him dance to a Tambourin, whether he wanted to or not. But as soon as he crossed the Pyrenees, there was nothing around that was cheerful or happy. If he happened to hear a peasant singing, it was a sad tune. The locals walked around with serious expressions, sporting some beaded necklaces and a sheathed dagger. The people were dressed in black and seemed to be in mourning.

DANCING A TAMBOURIN. Dancing a tambourin.—"When Amazan arrived at the base of the Pyrenees, the local magistrates and druids forced him to dance a Tambourin, regardless of his wish to participate. However, once he crossed the Pyrenees, he found nothing that was cheerful or happy."

If Amazan's servants asked passengers any questions, they were answered by signs; if they went into an inn, the host acquainted his guests in three words, that there was nothing in the house, but that the things they so pressingly wanted might be found a few miles off.

If Amazan's servants asked travelers any questions, they were answered with gestures; if they entered an inn, the host informed his guests in three words that there was nothing available in the place, but that the items they desperately needed could be found a few miles away.

When these votaries to taciturnity were asked if they had seen the beautiful princess of Babylon pass, they answered with less brevity than usual: "We have seen her—she is not so handsome—there are no beauties that are not tawny—she displays a bosom of alabaster, which is the most disgusting thing in the world, and which is scarce known in our climate."

When these fans of silence were asked if they had seen the beautiful princess of Babylon pass by, they answered with more words than usual: "We have seen her—she's not that attractive—there are no beauties that aren't tanned—she shows off a chest of alabaster, which is the most disgusting thing in the world, and which is hardly seen in our climate."

Amazan advanced toward the province watered by the Betis. The Tyrians discovered this country about twelve thousand years ago, about the time they discovered the great Atlantic Isle, inundated so many centuries after. The Tyrians cultivated Betica, which the natives of the country had never done, being of opinion that it was not their place to meddle with anything, and that their neighbors, the Gauls, should come and reap their harvests. The Tyrians had brought with them some Palestines, or Jews, who, from that time, have wandered through every clime where money was to be gained. The Palestines, by extraordinary usury, at fifty per cent., had possessed themselves of almost all the riches of the country. This made the people of Betica imagine the Palestines were sorcerers; and all those who were accused of witchcraft were burnt, without mercy, by a company of Druids, who were called the Inquisitors, or the Anthropokaies. These priests immediately put their victims in a masquerade habit, seized upon their effects, and devoutly repeated the Palestines' own prayers, whilst burning them by a slow fire, por l'amor de Dios.

Amazan moved toward the province watered by the Betis. The Tyrians discovered this land about twelve thousand years ago, around the same time they found the great Atlantic Isle, which would be submerged many centuries later. The Tyrians cultivated Betica, something the local people had never done, believing it wasn’t their duty to interfere with anything and that their neighbors, the Gauls, should come and harvest their crops. The Tyrians brought some Palestinians, or Jews, who have since traveled through every place where money could be made. The Palestinians, through outrageous interest of fifty percent, came to control almost all the wealth in the region. This led the people of Betica to think the Palestinians were sorcerers; anyone accused of witchcraft was mercilessly burned by a group of Druids known as the Inquisitors, or the Anthropokaies. These priests would immediately dress their victims in a costume, take their belongings, and devoutly recite the Palestinians' own prayers while burning them slowly, por l'amor de Dios.

The princess of Babylon alighted in that city which has since been called Sevilla. Her design was to embark upon the Betis to return by Tyre to Babylon, and see again king Belus, her father; and forget, if possible, her perdious lover—or, at least, to ask him in marriage. She sent for two Palestines, who transacted all the business of the court. They were to furnish her with three ships. The phœnix made all the necessary contracts with them, and settled the price after some little dispute.

The princess of Babylon arrived in the city that has since been named Sevilla. Her plan was to sail on the Betis, return through Tyre to Babylon, see her father, King Belus, again, and hopefully forget her treacherous lover—or at least ask him to marry her. She called for two Palestinians who handled all the court's affairs. They were supposed to provide her with three ships. The phoenix made all the necessary arrangements with them and finalized the price after a bit of debate.

The hostess was a great devotee, and her husband, who was no less religious, was a Familiar: that is to say, a spy of the Druid Inquisitors or Anthropokaies.

The hostess was very devoted, and her husband, who was equally religious, was a Familiar; that is to say, a spy for the Druid Inquisitors or Anthropokaies.

He failed not to inform them, that in his house was a sorceress and two Palestines, who were entering into a compact with the devil, disguised like a large gilt bird.

He made sure to tell them that there was a sorceress in his house and two people from Palestine who were making a deal with the devil, disguised as a large golden bird.

The Inquisitors having learned that the lady possessed a large quantity of diamonds, swore point blank that she was a sorceress. They waited till night to imprison the two hundred cavaliers and the unicorns, (which slept in very extensive stables), for the Inquisitors are cowards.

The Inquisitors, upon discovering that the lady had a large stash of diamonds, straightforwardly declared that she was a sorceress. They chose to wait until nightfall to imprison the two hundred knights and the unicorns, which were sleeping in very spacious stables, because the Inquisitors are cowards.

Having strongly barricaded the gates, they seized the princess and Irla; but they could not catch the phœnix, who flew away with great swiftness. He did not doubt of meeting with Amazan upon the road from Gaul to Sevilla.

Having firmly barricaded the gates, they captured the princess and Irla; but they couldn't catch the phoenix, who flew away quickly. He had no doubt that he would encounter Amazan on the road from Gaul to Sevilla.

He met him upon the frontiers of Betica, and acquainted him with the disaster that had befallen the princess.

He met him at the borders of Betica and informed him about the disaster that had happened to the princess.

Amazan was struck speechless with rage. He armed himself with a steel cuirass damasquined with gold, a lance twelve feet long, two javelins, and an edged sword called the Thunderer, which at one single stroke would rend trees, rocks, and Druids. He covered his beautiful head with a golden casque, shaded with heron and ostrich feathers. This was the ancient armor of Magog, which his sister Aldea gave him when upon his journey in Scythia. The few attendants he had with him all mounted their unicorns.

Amazan was so angry he couldn't speak. He suited up in a gold-embellished steel breastplate, grabbed a twelve-foot lance, two javelins, and a sharp sword called the Thunderer, which could slice through trees, rocks, and Druids with a single blow. He put on a beautiful golden helmet adorned with heron and ostrich feathers. This was the legendary armor of Magog, given to him by his sister Aldea during his travels in Scythia. The few servants he had with him all got on their unicorns.

Amazan, in embracing his dear phœnix, uttered only these melancholy expressions: "I am guilty! Had I not dined with the child of genius from the opera, in the city of the idlers, the princess of Babylon would not have been in this alarming situation. Let us fly to the Anthropokaies." He presently entered Sevilla. Fifteen hundred Alguazils guarded the gates of the inclosure in which the two hundred Gangarids and their unicorns were shut up, without being allowed anything to eat. Preparations were already made for sacrificing the princess of Babylon, her chambermaid Irla, and the two rich Palestines.

Amazan, holding his beloved phoenix, expressed his sorrow with these words: "I'm to blame! If I hadn't had dinner with the talented one from the opera in the city of leisure, the princess of Babylon wouldn't be in this dire situation. Let's get to the Anthropokaies." He quickly entered Sevilla. Fifteen hundred guards were at the gates of the enclosure where the two hundred Gangarids and their unicorns were trapped, with nothing to eat. Plans were already in place to sacrifice the princess of Babylon, her maid Irla, and the two wealthy Palestinians.

The high Anthropokaie, surrounded by his subaltern Anthropokaies, was already seated upon his sacred tribunal. A crowd of Sevillians, wearing strung beads at their girdles, joined their two hands, without uttering a syllable, when the beautiful Princess, the maid Irla, and the two Palestines were brought forth, with their hands tied behind their backs and dressed in masquerade habits.

The high Anthropokaie, surrounded by his subordinate Anthropokaies, was already sitting on his sacred throne. A crowd of Sevillians, with beads strung at their waists, clasped their hands together in silence when the beautiful Princess, the maid Irla, and the two Palestines were brought out, with their hands tied behind their backs and dressed in costume.

The phœnix entered the prison by a dormer window, whilst the Gangarids began to break open the doors. The invincible Amazan shattered them without. They all sallied forth armed, upon their unicorns, and Amazan put himself at their head. He had no difficulty in overthrowing the Alguazils, the Familiars, or the priests called Anthropokaies. Each unicorn pierced dozens at a time. The thundering Amazan cut to pieces all he met. The people in black cloaks and dirty frize ran away, always keeping fast hold of their blest beads, por l'amor de Dios.

The phoenix entered the prison through a dormer window, while the Gangarids started to break down the doors. The unstoppable Amazan smashed through them from the outside. They all charged out, armed and mounted on their unicorns, with Amazan taking the lead. He had no trouble taking down the Alguazils, the Familiars, or the priests known as Anthropokaies. Each unicorn took out dozens at once. The booming Amazan cut through anyone he encountered. The people in black cloaks and grimy woolen garments fled, desperately clutching their blessed beads, por l'amor de Dios.

Amazan collared the high Inquisitor upon his tribunal, and threw him upon the pile, which was prepared about forty paces distant; and he also cast upon it the other Inquisitors, one after the other. He then prostrated himself at Formosanta's feet. "Ah! how amiable you are," said she; "and how I should adore you, if you had not forsaken me for the company of an opera singer."

Amazan confronted the high Inquisitor during his tribunal and threw him onto the pile that was set up about forty steps away. He then tossed the other Inquisitors onto it one by one. After that, he knelt at Formosanta's feet. "Oh! How lovely you are," she said, "and how much I would adore you if you hadn't abandoned me for an opera singer."

Whilst Amazan was making his peace with the princess, whilst his Gangarids cast upon the pile the bodies of all the Anthropokaies, and the flames ascended to the clouds, Amazan saw an army that approached him at a distance. An aged monarch, with a crown upon his head, advanced upon a car drawn by eight mules harnessed with ropes. An hundred other cars followed. They were accompanied by grave looking men in black cloaks or frize, mounted upon very fine horses. A multitude of people, with greasy hair, followed silently on foot.

While Amazan was reconciling with the princess, and his Gangarids were throwing the bodies of all the Anthropokaies onto the pile as the flames rose to the clouds, Amazan noticed an army approaching in the distance. An elderly king, wearing a crown, came forward in a chariot pulled by eight mules tied with ropes. A hundred other chariots followed him. They were accompanied by serious-looking men in black cloaks or frieze, riding on very fine horses. A crowd of people with greasy hair followed silently on foot.

Amazan immediately drew up his Gangarids about him, and advanced with his lance couched. As soon as the king perceived him, he took off his crown, alighted from his car, and embraced Amazan's stirrup, saying to him: "Man sent by the gods, you are the avenger of human kind, the deliverer of my country. These sacred monsters, of which you have purged the earth, were my masters, in the name of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains. I was forced to submit to their criminal power. My people would have deserted me, if I had only been inclined to moderate their abominable crimes. From this moment I breathe, I reign, and am indebted to you for it."

Amazan quickly gathered his Gangarids around him and advanced with his lance ready. As soon as the king saw him, he removed his crown, got down from his chariot, and held Amazan's stirrup, saying to him: "Man sent by the gods, you are the avenger of humanity, the savior of my country. These vile creatures, whom you have banished from the earth, were my masters, in the name of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains. I had to submit to their wicked power. My people would have abandoned me if I had just tried to tone down their horrible crimes. From this moment on, I breathe freely, I reign, and I owe it all to you."

He afterward respectfully kissed Formosanta's hand, and entreated her to get into his coach (drawn by eight mules) with Amazan, Irla, and the phœnix.

He then respectfully kissed Formosanta's hand and asked her to get into his coach (pulled by eight mules) with Amazan, Irla, and the phoenix.

The two Palestine bankers, who still remained prostrate on the ground through fear and terror, now raised their heads. The troop of unicorns followed the king of Betica into his palace.

The two Palestine bankers, who were still lying flat on the ground out of fear and terror, finally lifted their heads. The group of unicorns followed the king of Betica into his palace.

As the dignity of a king who reigned over a people of characteristic brevity, required that his mules should go at a very slow pace, Amazan and Formosanta had time to relate to him their adventures. He also conversed with the phœnix, admiring and frequently embracing him. He easily comprehended how brutal and barbarous the people of the west should be considered, who ate animals, and did not understand their language; that the Gangarids alone had preserved the nature and dignity of primitive man; but he particularly agreed, that the most barbarous of mortals were the Anthropokaies, of whom Amazan had just purged the earth. He incessantly blessed and thanked him. The beautiful Formosanta had already forgotten the affair in Gaul, and had her soul filled with nothing but the valor of the hero who had preserved her life. Amazan being made acquainted with the innocence of the embrace she had given to the king of Egypt, and being told of the resurrection of the phœnix, tasted the purest joy, and was intoxicated with the most violent love.

As the dignity of a king who ruled over a people known for their brevity required his mules to move at a very slow pace, Amazan and Formosanta had time to share their adventures with him. He also talked with the phoenix, admiring and frequently embracing it. He easily understood how brutal and savage the people of the west were, who ate animals and couldn’t understand their language; that only the Gangarids had maintained the nature and dignity of primitive man; but he particularly agreed that the most barbaric of humans were the Anthropokaies, whom Amazan had just expelled from the earth. He constantly blessed and thanked him. The beautiful Formosanta had already put the incident in Gaul behind her and was filled with nothing but admiration for the hero who had saved her life. Once Amazan learned of the innocence behind the embrace she had given to the king of Egypt and heard about the resurrection of the phoenix, he experienced pure joy and was overwhelmed with intense love.

They dined at the palace, but had a very indifferent repast. The cooks of Betica were the worst in Europe. Amazan advised the king to send for some from Gaul. The king's musicians performed, during the repast, that celebrated air which has since been called the Follies of Spain. After dinner, matters of business came upon the carpet.

They had dinner at the palace, but it was a pretty mediocre meal. The cooks from Betica were the worst in Europe. Amazan suggested that the king bring in some from Gaul. The king's musicians played that famous tune which has since been called the Follies of Spain. After dinner, they got down to business.

The king enquired of the handsome Amazan, the beautiful Formosanta, and the charming phœnix, what they proposed doing. "For my part," said Amazan, "my intention is to return to Babylon, of which I am the presumptive heir, and to ask of my uncle Belus the hand of my cousin-german, the incomparable Formosanta."

The king asked the handsome Amazan, the beautiful Formosanta, and the charming phoenix what they planned to do. "As for me," said Amazan, "I intend to return to Babylon, where I am the likely heir, and to ask my uncle Belus for the hand of my cousin, the incomparable Formosanta."

"My design certainly is," said the princess, "never to separate from my cousin-germain. But I imagine he will agree with me, that I should return first to my father, because he only gave me leave to go upon a pilgrimage to Bassora, and I have wandered all over the world."

"My plan definitely is," said the princess, "to never part from my cousin. But I believe he will agree with me that I should return to my father first, since he only allowed me to go on a pilgrimage to Bassora, and I have traveled all over the world."

"For my part," said the phœnix, "I will follow every where these two tender, generous lovers."

"For me," said the phoenix, "I will follow these two compassionate, generous lovers wherever they go."

"You are in the right," said the king of Betica; "but your return to Babylon is not so easy as you imagine. I receive daily intelligence from that country by Tyrian ships, and my Palestine bankers, who correspond with all the nations of the earth. The people are all in arms toward the Euphrates and the Nile. The king of Scythia claims the inheritance of his wife, at the head of three hundred thousand warriors on horseback. The kings of Egypt and India are also laying waste the banks of the Tygris and the Euphrates, each at the head of three hundred thousand men, to revenge themselves for being laughed at. The king of Ethiopia is ravaging Egypt with three hundred thousand men, whilst the king of Egypt is absent from his country. And the king of Babylon has as yet only six hundred thousand men to defend himself.

"You’re right," said the king of Betica, "but getting back to Babylon isn’t as easy as you think. I get daily updates from that region through Tyrian ships, and my bankers in Palestine are in touch with people from all over the world. Everyone is gearing up for battle along the Euphrates and the Nile. The king of Scythia is claiming his wife's inheritance, leading an army of three hundred thousand cavalry. The kings of Egypt and India are also destroying the banks of the Tigris and the Euphrates, each commanding three hundred thousand troops, seeking revenge for being mocked. The king of Ethiopia is attacking Egypt with three hundred thousand men, while the king of Egypt is away from his land. And the king of Babylon only has six hundred thousand soldiers to defend himself right now."

"I acknowledge to you," continued the king, "when I hear of those prodigious armies which are disembogued from the east, and their astonishing magnificence—when I compare them to my trifling bodies of twenty or thirty thousand soldiers, which it is so difficult to clothe and feed; I am inclined to think the eastern subsisted long before the western hemisphere. It seems as if we sprung only yesterday from chaos and barbarity."

"I admit to you," the king continued, "when I hear about those massive armies coming from the east and their amazing splendor—when I compare that to my small forces of twenty or thirty thousand soldiers, which are so hard to clothe and feed; I start to think that the east has been thriving long before the west. It feels like we just emerged from chaos and savagery yesterday."

"Sire," said Amazan, "the last comers frequently outstrip those who first began the career. It is thought in my country that man was first created in India; but this I am not certain of."

"Sire," said Amazan, "those who arrive last often surpass those who started first. People in my country believe that man was originally created in India, but I'm not sure about that."

"And," said the king of Betica to the phœnix, "what do you think?"

"And," said the king of Betica to the phoenix, "what do you think?"

"Sire," replied the phœnix, "I am as yet too young to have any knowledge concerning antiquity. I have lived only about twenty-seven thousand years; but my father, who had lived five times that age, told me he had learned from his father, that the eastern country had always been more populous and rich than the others. It had been transmitted to him from his ancestors, that the generation of all animals had begun upon the banks of the Ganges. For my part, said he, I have not the vanity to be of this opinion. I cannot believe that the foxes of Albion, the marmots of the Alps, and the wolves of Gaul, are descended from my country. In the like manner, I do not believe that the firs and oaks of your country descended from the palm and cocoa trees of India."

"Sire," replied the phoenix, "I'm still too young to know much about history. I've only lived for about twenty-seven thousand years, but my father, who lived five times that long, told me he learned from his father that the eastern country has always been more populated and wealthy than the others. It was passed down to him from his ancestors that all animals originated near the Ganges River. As for me, he said, I don't have the arrogance to hold that belief. I can't accept that the foxes of Albion, the marmots of the Alps, and the wolves of Gaul come from my homeland. Similarly, I don't think that the firs and oaks from your land descended from the palm and coconut trees of India."

"But from whence are we descended, then?" said the king.

"But where do we come from, then?" said the king.

"I do not know," said the phœnix; "all I want to know is, whither the beautiful princess of Babylon and my dear Amazan may repair."

"I don't know," said the phoenix; "all I want to know is where the beautiful princess of Babylon and my dear Amazan might be going."

"I very much question," said the king, "whether with his two hundred unicorns he will be able to destroy so many armies of three hundred thousand men each."

"I really doubt," said the king, "whether with his two hundred unicorns he'll be able to defeat so many armies of three hundred thousand men each."

"Why not?" said Amazan. The king of Betica felt the force of this sublime question, "Why not?" but he imagined sublimity alone was not sufficient against innumerable armies.

"Why not?" said Amazan. The king of Betica felt the weight of this profound question, "Why not?" but he thought that being profound alone wasn't enough against countless armies.

"I advise you," said he, "to seek the king of Ethiopia. I am related to that black prince through my Palestines. I will give you recommendatory letters to him. As he is at enmity with the king of Egypt, he will be but too happy to be strengthened by your alliance. I can assist you with two thousand sober, brave men; and it will depend upon yourself to engage as many more of the people who reside, or rather skip, about the foot of the Pyrenees, and who are called Vasques or Vascons. Send one of your warriors upon an unicorn, with a few diamonds. There is not a Vascon that will not quit the castle, that is, the thatched cottage of his father, to serve you. They are indefatigable, courageous, and agreeable; and whilst you wait their arrival, we will give you festivals, and prepare your ships. I cannot too much acknowledge the service you have done me."

"I suggest you," he said, "go find the king of Ethiopia. I'm related to that black prince through my connections in Palestine. I'll give you letters of recommendation for him. Since he's in conflict with the king of Egypt, he'll be more than happy to strengthen his position with your alliance. I can help you with two thousand disciplined, brave men, and it's up to you to gather more from those who live, or rather move around, at the foot of the Pyrenees, known as Vasques or Vascons. Send one of your warriors on a unicorn with some diamonds. There isn't a Vascon who wouldn't leave his home, his thatched cottage, to serve you. They're tireless, courageous, and friendly; and while you wait for them to arrive, we will throw you festivals and get your ships ready. I can't thank you enough for the help you've given me."

Amazan realized the happiness of having recovered Formosanta, and enjoyed in tranquillity her conversation, and all the charms of reconciled love,—which are almost equal to a growing passion.

Amazan felt the joy of having found Formosanta again and peacefully enjoyed their conversations and all the delights of their renewed love—which are nearly as strong as a blossoming romance.

A troop of proud, joyous Vascons soon arrived, dancing a tambourin. The haughty and grave Betican troops were now ready. The old sun-burnt king tenderly embraced the two lovers. He sent great quantities of arms, beds, chests, boards, black clothes, onions, sheep, fowls, flour, and particularly garlic, on board the ships, and wished them a happy voyage, invariable love, and many victories.

A group of proud, joyful Vascons soon arrived, dancing a tambourin. The lofty and serious Betican troops were now prepared. The weathered, sun-baked king warmly embraced the two lovers. He loaded the ships with lots of weapons, beds, chests, planks, black clothes, onions, sheep, chickens, flour, and especially garlic, and wished them a safe journey, lasting love, and many victories.

Proud Carthage was not then a sea-port. There were at that time only a few Numidians there, who dried fish in the sun. They coasted along Bizacenes, the Syrthes, the fertile banks where since arose Cyrene and the great Chersonese.

Proud Carthage was not a seaport back then. At that time, there were only a few Numidians who dried fish in the sun. They traveled along Bizacenes, the Syrthes, and the fertile shores where Cyrene and the great Chersonese later emerged.

They at length arrived toward the first mouth of the sacred Nile. It was at the extremity of this fertile land that the ships of all commercial nations were already received in the port of Canope, without knowing whether the god Canope had founded this port, or whether the inhabitants had manufactured the god—whether the star Canope had given its name to the city, or whether the city had bestowed it upon the star. All that was known of this matter was, that the city and the star were both very ancient; and this is all that can be known of the origin of things, of what nature soever they may be.

They finally arrived at the mouth of the sacred Nile. At the edge of this fertile land, ships from all trading nations were already docking at the port of Canope, without knowing if the god Canope had established this port or if the people had created the god—whether the star Canope had named the city or if the city had named the star. The only thing known about this was that both the city and the star were very ancient; and that’s all that can be known about the origins of things, no matter what they may be.

It was here that the king of Ethiopia, having ravaged all Egypt, saw the invincible Amazan and the adorable Formosanta come on shore. He took one for the god of war, and the other for the goddess of beauty. Amazan presented to him the letter of recommendation from the king of Spain. The king of Ethiopia immediately entertained them with some admirable festivals, according to the indispensable custom of heroic times. They then conferred about their expedition to exterminate the three hundred thousand men of the king of Egypt, the three hundred thousand of the emperor of the Indies, and the three hundred thousand of the great Khan of the Scythians, who laid siege to the immense, proud, voluptuous city of Babylon.

It was here that the king of Ethiopia, having devastated all of Egypt, saw the unbeatable Amazan and the charming Formosanta coming ashore. He took one for the god of war and the other for the goddess of beauty. Amazan presented him with a letter of recommendation from the king of Spain. The king of Ethiopia immediately welcomed them with some impressive festivals, following the essential customs of heroic times. They then discussed their plan to wipe out the three hundred thousand soldiers of the king of Egypt, the three hundred thousand of the emperor of the Indies, and the three hundred thousand of the great Khan of the Scythians, who were besieging the massive, proud, indulgent city of Babylon.

The two hundred Spaniards, whom Amazan had brought with him, said that they had nothing to do with the king of Ethiopia's succoring Babylon; that it was sufficient their king had ordered them to go and deliver it; and that they were formidable enough for this expedition.

The two hundred Spaniards that Amazan brought with him said they had nothing to do with the king of Ethiopia helping Babylon; it was enough that their king had ordered them to go and save it; and they were strong enough for this mission.

The Vascons said they had performed many other exploits; that they would alone defeat the Egyptians, the Indians, and the Scythians; and that they would not march unless the Spaniards were placed in the rear-guard.

The Vascons claimed they had accomplished many other feats; that they could single-handedly defeat the Egyptians, the Indians, and the Scythians; and that they would not move forward unless the Spaniards were positioned in the rear-guard.

The two hundred Gangarids could not refrain from laughing at the pretensions of their allies, and they maintained that with only one hundred unicorns, they could put to flight all the kings of the earth. The beautiful Formosanta appeased them by her prudence, and by her enchanting discourse. Amazan introduced to the black monarch his Gangarids, his unicorns, his Spaniards, his Vascons, and his beautiful bird.

The two hundred Gangarids couldn't help but laugh at their allies' pretensions, insisting that with just one hundred unicorns, they could easily drive away all the kings of the world. The lovely Formosanta calmed them down with her wisdom and captivating talk. Amazan introduced the black monarch to his Gangarids, his unicorns, his Spaniards, his Vascons, and his beautiful bird.

Every thing was soon ready to march by Memphis, Heliopolis, Arsinoe, Petra, Artemitis, Sora, and Apamens, to attack the three kings, and to prosecute this memorable war, before which all the wars ever waged by man sink into insignificance.

Everything was soon set to march by Memphis, Heliopolis, Arsinoe, Petra, Artemitis, Sora, and Apamens, to confront the three kings and carry on this remarkable war, which overshadows all the wars ever fought by humanity.

Fame with her hundred tongues has proclaimed the victories Amazan gained over the three kings, with his Spaniards, his Vascons, and his unicorns. He restored the beautiful Formosanta to her father. He set at liberty all his mistress's train, whom the king of Egypt had reduced to slavery. The great Khan of the Scythians declared himself his vassal; and his marriage was confirmed with princess Aldea. The invincible and generous Amazan, was acknowledged the heir to the kingdom of Babylon, and entered the city in triumph with the phœnix, in the presence of a hundred tributary kings. The festival of his marriage far surpassed that which king Belus had given. The bull Apis was served up roasted at table. The kings of Egypt and India were cup-bearers to the married pair; and these nuptials were celebrated by five hundred illustrious poets of Babylon.

Fame, with her many voices, has announced the victories Amazan achieved over the three kings, alongside his Spaniards, Vascons, and unicorns. He returned the beautiful Formosanta to her father. He freed all of his mistress's followers, whom the king of Egypt had enslaved. The great Khan of the Scythians recognized him as his vassal, and his marriage to Princess Aldea was confirmed. The unbeatable and generous Amazan was recognized as the heir to the kingdom of Babylon and entered the city triumphantly with the phoenix, in front of a hundred tribute-paying kings. The celebration of his marriage far exceeded the feast that King Belus held. The bull Apis was served roasted at the table. The kings of Egypt and India acted as cup-bearers for the newlyweds, and five hundred distinguished poets from Babylon celebrated this union.

Oh, Muses! daughters of heaven, who are constantly invoked at the beginning of a work, I only implore you at the end. It is needless to reproach me with saying grace, without having said benedicite. But, Muses! you will not be less my patronesses. Inspire, I pray you, the Ecclesiastical Gazetteer, the illustrious orator of the Convulsionnaires, to say every thing possible against The Princess of Babylon, in order that the work may be condemned by the Sorbonne, and, therefore, be universally read. And prevent, I beseech you, O chaste and noble Muses, any supplemental scribblers spoiling, by their fables, the truths I have taught mortals in this faithful narrative.

Oh, Muses! Daughters of heaven, who are always called upon at the start of a work, I only ask you at the end. It’s unnecessary to blame me for offering thanks without having said benedicite. But, Muses! you will still be my patrons. Please inspire the Ecclesiastical Gazetteer, the renowned speaker of the Convulsionnaires, to say everything possible against The Princess of Babylon, so that the work can be condemned by the Sorbonne and, as a result, be widely read. And I urge you, O pure and noble Muses, to keep any additional scribblers from ruining, with their fables, the truths I have shared with mortals in this faithful narrative.

Clio, the muse of history. Clio, the muse of history. From a painting by Antonio Canova.—"Please, I beg you, O pure and noble Muses, stop any additional writers from ruining the truths I've shared with humans in this accurate story with their fables."


THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.

The Tax Collector. The Tax Authority.

I.

NATIONAL POVERTY.

An old man, who is forever pitying the present times, and extolling the past, was saying to me: "Friend, France is not so rich as it was under Henry the IVth."

An old man, who is always complaining about the present times and praising the past, was telling me: "Friend, France isn't as wealthy as it was during Henry IV's reign."

"And why?"

"What's the reason?"

"Because the lands are not so well cultivated; because hands are wanting for the cultivation; and because the day-laborer having raised the price of his work, many land owners let their inheritances he fallow."

"Because the land isn't well-farmed; because there aren't enough people to farm it; and because laborers have increased their fees, many landowners leave their land unused."

"Whence comes this scarcity of hands?"

"Where does this shortage of workers come from?"

"From this, that whoever finds in himself anything of a spirit of industry, takes up the trades of embroiderer, chaser, watchmaker, silk weaver, attorney, or divine. It is also because the revocation of the Edict of Nantes has left a great void in the kingdom; because nuns and beggars of all kinds have greatly multiplied; because the people in general avoid as much as possible the hard labor of cultivation, for which we are born by God's destination, and which we have rendered ignominious by our own opinions; so very wise are we!

"From this, anyone who feels a sense of industry within themselves pursues careers as an embroiderer, metalworker, watchmaker, silk weaver, lawyer, or clergyman. It's also due to the repeal of the Edict of Nantes, which has created a significant gap in the kingdom; because nuns and all types of beggars have drastically increased; because people generally try to avoid the hard work of farming, for which we were created by God's design, and which we have discredited with our own beliefs; how wise we are!"

"Another cause of our poverty lies in our new wants. We pay our neighbors four millions of livres on one article, and five or six upon another, such, for example, as a stinking powder for stuffing up our noses brought from America. Our coffee, tea, chocolate, cochineal, indigo, spices, cost us above sixty millions a year. All these were unknown to us in the reign of Henry the IVth, except the spices, of which, however, the consumption was not so great as it is now. We burn a hundred times more wax-lights than were burnt then; and get more than the half of the wax from foreign countries, because we neglect our own hives. We see a hundred times more diamonds in the ears, round the necks, and on the hands of our city ladies of Paris, and other great towns, than were worn by all the ladies of Henry the IVth's court, the Queen included. Almost all the superfluities are necessarily paid for with ready specie.

"Another reason for our poverty is our new desires. We spend four million livres on one product from our neighbors, and five or six million on another, like a foul-smelling powder for blocking our noses that we import from America. Our coffee, tea, chocolate, cochineal, indigo, and spices cost us over sixty million a year. Most of these were unknown to us during the reign of Henry IV, except for spices, which we didn't consume nearly as much as we do now. We burn a hundred times more candles now than we did back then, and we source more than half of the wax from other countries because we neglect our own beehives. We see a hundred times more diamonds worn by the women of Paris and other major cities than all the ladies at Henry IV’s court, including the Queen. Most of these luxuries have to be paid for with cash."

"Observe especially that we pay to foreigners above fifteen millions of annuities on the Hôtel-de-Ville; and that Henry the IVth, on his accession, having found two millions of debt in all on this imaginary Hôtel, very wisely paid off a part, to ease the state of this burden.

"Notice that we pay foreigners over fifteen million in annuities on the Hôtel-de-Ville; and that Henry IV, upon taking the throne, found a total debt of two million on this imaginary Hôtel, and wisely paid off some of it to alleviate this financial strain."

"Consider that our civil wars were the occasion of the treasures of Mexico being poured into the kingdom, when Don Philip el Discreto took it into his head to buy France, and that since that time, our foreign wars have eased us of a good half of our money.

"Think about how our civil wars led to the riches of Mexico flowing into the kingdom when Don Philip el Discreto decided to try to buy France, and since then, our foreign wars have taken away a good half of our money."

"These are partly the causes of our poverty; a poverty which we hide under varnished ceilings, or with the help of our dealers in fashion. We are poor with taste. There are some officers of revenue, there are contractors or jobbers, there are merchants, very rich; their children, their sons-in-law, are also very rich, but the nation in general is unfortunately not so."

"These are some of the reasons for our poverty; a poverty we cover up with fancy ceilings or through our fashion dealers. We are poor but stylish. There are some wealthy revenue officers, contractors, or traders; their children and sons-in-law are also quite rich, but unfortunately, the nation as a whole is not."

This old man's discourse, well or ill grounded, made a deep impression on me; for the curate of my parish, who had always had a friendship for me, had taught me a little of geometry and of history: and I begin to reflect a little, which is very rare in my province. I do not know whether he was right or not in every thing, but being very poor, I could very easily believe that I had a great many companions of my misery.

This old man's speech, whether accurate or not, really struck me; because the curate of my parish, who had always been friendly to me, had taught me a bit about geometry and history: and I started to think a little, which is quite uncommon in my area. I’m not sure if he was right about everything, but being very poor, I could easily believe there were many others who shared my struggles.


II.

THE DISASTER OF THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.

I very readily make known to the universe that I have a landed estate which would yield me forty crowns a year, were it not for the tax laid on it.

I readily let the universe know that I have a piece of land that would bring me in forty crowns a year, if it weren't for the tax on it.

There came forth several edicts from certain persons, who, having nothing better to do, govern the state at their fire-side, the preamble of these edicts was, "that the legislative and executive was born, jure divino, the co-proprietor of my land;" and that I owe it at least the half of what I possess. The enormity of this legislative and executive power made me bless myself. What would it be if that power which presides over "the essential order of society," were to take the whole of my little estate? The one is still more divine than the other.

Several directives came from certain individuals who, with nothing better to do, manage the state from the comfort of their homes. The introduction to these directives stated, "that the legislative and executive were created, jure divino, as the co-owner of my land;" and that I owe at least half of what I own to them. The sheer extent of this legislative and executive power made me self-reflect. What would happen if that power, which oversees "the essential order of society," were to take all of my small estate? One is even more divine than the other.

The comptroller general knows that I used to pay, in all, but twelve livres; that even this was a heavy burden on me, and that I should have sunk under it, if God had not given me the talent of making wicker baskets, which helped to carry me through my trials. But how should I, on a sudden, be able to give the king twenty crowns?

The comptroller general knows that I used to pay, in total, only twelve livres; that even this was a heavy burden for me, and that I would have collapsed under it if God hadn’t blessed me with the skill of making wicker baskets, which helped me get through my tough times. But how could I suddenly have the ability to give the king twenty crowns?

The new ministers also said in their preamble, that it was not fit to tax anything but the land, because every thing arises from the land, even rain itself, and consequently that nothing was properly liable to taxation, but the fruits of the land.

The new ministers also mentioned in their introduction that it wasn’t right to tax anything other than land because everything comes from the land, even rain itself. Therefore, nothing else should be subject to taxation except for the produce of the land.

During the last war, one of their collectors came to my house, and demanded of me, for my quota, three measures of corn, and a sack of beans, the whole worth twenty crowns, to maintain the war—of which I never knew the reason, having only heard it said, that there was nothing to be got by it for our country, and a great deal to lose. As I had not at that time either corn, or beans, or money, the legislative and executive power had me dragged to prison; and the war went on as well as it could.

During the last war, one of their collectors came to my house and demanded my share: three measures of corn and a sack of beans, worth twenty crowns in total, to support the war. I never understood the reason for this, as I had only heard that there was nothing to gain for our country and a lot to lose. Since I had neither corn, beans, nor money at that time, the government had me taken to prison, and the war continued as best as it could.

On my release from the dungeon, being nothing but skin and bone, whom should I meet but a jolly fresh colored man in a coach and six? He had six footmen, to each of whom he gave for his wages more than the double of my revenue. His head-steward, who, by the way, looked in as good plight as himself, had of him a salary of two thousand livres, and robbed him every year of twenty thousand more. His mistress had in six months stood him in forty thousand crowns. I had formerly known him when he was less well to pass than myself. He owned, by way of comfort to me, that he enjoyed four hundred thousand livres a year.

Upon my release from the dungeon, barely alive and hardly more than skin and bones, I ran into a cheerful, well-dressed man in a fancy carriage with six horses. He had six footmen, each of whom earned more than double what I made. His head steward, by the way, looked just as good as he did and received a salary of two thousand livres, but stole an additional twenty thousand from him every year. His mistress had already cost him forty thousand crowns in just six months. I had known him before when he was doing worse off than I was. For my comfort, he admitted that he made four hundred thousand livres a year.

"I suppose, then," said I, "that you pay out of this income two hundred thousand to the state, to help to support that advantageous war we are carrying on; since I, who have but just a hundred and twenty livres a year, am obliged to pay half of them."

"I guess, then," I said, "that you pay two hundred thousand to the government from this income to help fund that beneficial war we're involved in; since I, who only make a hundred and twenty livres a year, have to pay half of that amount."

"I," said he, "I contribute to the wants of the state? You are surely jesting, my friend. I have inherited from an uncle his fortune of eight millions, which he got at Cadiz and at Surat; I have not a foot of land; my estate lies in government contracts, and in the funds. I owe the state nothing. It is for you to give half of your substance,—you who are a proprietor of land. Do you not see, that if the minister of the revenue were to require anything of me in aid of our country, he would be a blockhead, that could not calculate? for every thing is the produce of the land. Money and the paper currency are nothing but pledges of exchange. If, after having laid the sole tax, the tax that is to supply the place of all others, on those commodities, the government were to ask money of me; do you not see, that this would be a double load? that it would be asking the same thing twice over? My uncle sold at Cadiz to the amount of two millions of your corn, and of two millions of stuffs made of your wool; upon these two articles he gained cent. per cent. You must easily think that this profit came out of lands already taxed. What my uncle bought for tenpence of you, he sold again for above fifty livres at Mexico; and thus he made a shift to return to his own country with eight millions clear.

"I," he said, "I contribute to the needs of the state? You must be joking, my friend. I've inherited a fortune of eight million from an uncle, which he made in Cadiz and Surat; I don't own any land; my wealth is tied up in government contracts and investments. I owe the state nothing. It's you who should give half of your wealth—you who own land. Don’t you realize that if the revenue minister were to ask anything from me to help our country, he would be foolish, unable to do the math? Everything comes from the land. Money and paper currency are just promises of exchange. If the government places a single tax—the one that replaces all others—on those goods and then asks me for money, don’t you see that would be a double burden? They would be asking for the same thing twice! My uncle sold two million worth of your grain and two million worth of wool products in Cadiz; he made a hundred percent profit on those two items. You must understand that this profit came from land that had already been taxed. What my uncle bought from you for ten pence, he sold for over fifty livres in Mexico; that’s how he managed to return to his own country with eight million clear."

"You must be sensible, then, that it would be a horrid injustice to re-demand of him a few farthings on the tenpence he paid you. If twenty nephews like me, whose uncles had gained each eight millions at Buenos Ayres, at Lima, at Surat, or at Pondicherry, were, in the urgent necessities of the state, each to lend to it only two hundred thousand livres, that would produce four millions. But what horror would that be! Pay then thou, my friend, who enjoyest quietly the neat and clear revenue of forty crowns; serve thy country well, and come now and then to dine with my servants in livery."

"You need to understand that it would be really unfair to ask him for a few pennies back from the ten pence he already gave you. If twenty nephews like me, whose uncles each made eight million in Buenos Ayres, Lima, Surat, or Pondicherry, were to lend the state just two hundred thousand livres each in its time of need, that would add up to four million. But what a terrible thing that would be! So, you pay up, my friend, who enjoy the tidy and clear income of forty crowns; contribute to your country properly, and sometimes join my servants for dinner."

This plausible discourse made me reflect a good deal, but I cannot say it much comforted me.

This convincing conversation made me think a lot, but I can’t say it really comforted me.


III.

CHAT WITH A GEOMETRICIAN.

It sometimes happens that a man has no answer to make, and yet is not persuaded. He is overthrown without the feeling of being convinced. He feels at the bottom of his heart a scruple, a repugnance, which hinders him from believing what has been proved to him. A geometrician demonstrates to you, that between a circle and a tangent, you may thread a number of curves, and yet cannot get one straight line to pass. Your eyes, your reason, tell you the contrary. The geometrician gravely answers you, that it is an infinitesimal of the second order. You stare in stupid silence, and quit the field all astonished, without having any clear idea, without comprehending anything, and without having any reply to make.

It sometimes happens that a man has no response to give, yet isn't convinced. He feels defeated without actually believing it. Deep down, he has a hesitation, a reluctance that prevents him from accepting what has been shown to him. A mathematician shows you that between a circle and a tangent, you can fit many curves, yet can’t find a single straight line to go through. Your eyes and your reason tell you otherwise. The mathematician seriously tells you that it’s an infinitesimal of the second order. You stare in confused silence, leaving the discussion bewildered, without any clear understanding, without grasping anything, and with no reply to offer.

Consult but a geometrician of more candor, and he explains the mystery to you.

Consult a more straightforward geometer, and they’ll explain the mystery to you.

"We suppose," says he, "what cannot be in nature, lines which have length without breadth. Naturally and philosophically speaking, it is impossible for one real line to penetrate another. No curve, nor no right line can pass between two real lines that touch one another. These theorems that puzzle you are but sports of the imagination, ideal chimeras. Whereas true geometry is the art of measuring things actually existent."

"We think," he says, "that there can’t be anything in nature, lines that have length but no width. From a natural and philosophical standpoint, it's impossible for a real line to cross another. No curve or straight line can go between two real lines that are touching each other. These theories that confuse you are just fanciful ideas, unreal fantasies. True geometry, on the other hand, is the art of measuring things that actually exist."

I was perfectly well satisfied with the confession of the sensible mathematician, and, with all my misfortune, could not help laughing on learning that there was a quackery even in that science, which is called the sublime science. My geometrician was a kind of philosophical patriot, who had deigned to chat with me sometimes in my cottage. I said to him:

I was completely satisfied with the sensible mathematician's confession and, despite all my misfortune, couldn't help but laugh when I found out there was a kind of quackery even in that so-called sublime science. My mathematician was like a philosophical patriot who sometimes took the time to chat with me in my cottage. I said to him:

"Sir, you have tried to enlighten the cockneys of Paris, on a point of the greatest concern to mankind, that of the duration of human life. It is to you alone that the ministry owes its knowledge of the due rate of annuities for lives, according to different ages. You have proposed to furnish the houses in town with what water they may want, and to deliver us at length from the shame and ridicule of hearing water cried about the streets, and of seeing women inclosed within an oblong hoop, carrying two pails of water, both together of about thirty pounds weight, up to a fourth story. Be so good, in the name of friendship, to tell me, how many two-handed bipeds there may be in France?"

"Sir, you have attempted to educate the people of Paris on an issue that matters greatly to humanity: the length of human life. The government owes its understanding of the appropriate rate of life annuities for different ages to you alone. You proposed to supply the homes in the city with the necessary water and to finally free us from the embarrassment and mockery of hearing water called out in the streets and of seeing women confined within a long hoop, carrying two buckets of water, together weighing around thirty pounds, up to a fourth floor. Please, as a favor, tell me how many two-handed humans there are in France?"

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—It is assumed, that there may be about twenty millions, and I am willing to adopt this calculation as the most probable, till it can be verified, which it would be very easy to do, and which, however, has not hitherto been done, because one does not always think of every thing.

THE GEOMETRY EXPERT.—It's estimated that there are about twenty million, and I'm ready to accept this estimate as the most likely until it can be confirmed, which would be quite easy to do. However, it hasn't happened so far because people don't always consider everything.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—How many acres, think you, the whole territory of France contains?

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—How many acres do you think the entire territory of France has?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—One hundred and thirty millions, of which almost the half is in roads, in towns, villages, moors, heaths, marshes, sands, barren lands, useless convents, gardens of more pleasure than profit, uncultivated grounds, and bad grounds ill cultivated. We might reduce all the land which yields good returns to seventy-five millions of square acres; but let us state them at fourscore millions. One cannot do too much for one's country.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—One hundred and thirty million acres, almost half of which is made up of roads, towns, villages, moors, heaths, marshes, sands, barren land, useless convents, gardens that are more for pleasure than profit, uncultivated land, and poorly cultivated land. We could estimate that all the land producing good returns amounts to seventy-five million square acres; however, let's mention it as eighty million. You can never do too much for your country.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—How much may you think each acre brings in yearly, one year with another, in corn, seeds of all kinds, wine, fish-ponds, wood, metals, cattle, fruit, wool, silk, oil, milk, clear of all charges, without reckoning the tax?

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—How much do you think each acre yields each year on average, from crops, seeds of all kinds, wine, fish ponds, timber, metals, livestock, fruit, wool, silk, oil, and milk, excluding all expenses and not counting taxes?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Why, if they produce each twenty-five livres, (about twenty English shillings), it is a great deal; but not to discourage our countrymen, let us put them at thirty livres. There are acres which produce constantly regenerating value, and which are estimated at three hundred livres: there are others which only produce three livres. The mean proportion between three and three hundred is thirty; for you must allow that three is to thirty as thirty is to three hundred. If, indeed, there were comparatively many acres at thirty livres, and very few at three hundred, our account would not hold good; but, once more, I would not be over punctilious.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Well, if they produce twenty-five livres each (about twenty English shillings), that's significant; but to keep our countrymen from feeling discouraged, let's say they produce thirty livres. There are acres that constantly generate value and are valued at three hundred livres, while others only produce three livres. The average between three and three hundred is thirty; you have to agree that three is to thirty as thirty is to three hundred. If, in fact, there were relatively many acres generating thirty livres, and very few at three hundred, our calculations wouldn't hold up; but again, I don’t want to be overly meticulous.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—Well, sir; how much will these fourscore millions of acres yield of revenue, estimated in money?

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—So, sir, how much money will these eighty million acres bring in?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—The account is ready made; they will produce two thousand four hundred millions of livres of the present currency.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—The account is prepared; they will generate two billion four hundred million livres in today's currency.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—I have read that Solomon possessed, of his own property, twenty-five thousand millions of livres, in ready money; and certainly there are not two thousand four hundred millions of specie circulating in France, which, I am told, is much greater and much richer than Solomon's country.

The Man with Forty Crowns.—I've read that Solomon had twenty-five billion livres in cash; and it’s clear that there aren’t even two billion four hundred million coins in circulation in France, which I’ve heard is much larger and wealthier than Solomon's kingdom.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—There lies the mystery. There may be about nine hundred millions circulating throughout the kingdom; and this money, passing from hand to hand, is sufficient to pay for all the produce of the land, and of industry. The same crown may pass ten times from the pocket of the cultivator, into that of the ale-housekeeper, and of the tax-gatherer.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—That's the mystery. There could be around nine hundred million circulating throughout the kingdom; and this money, changing hands, is enough to cover all the products of the land and of industry. The same coin might move ten times from the farmer's pocket, to the innkeeper's, and then to the tax collector's.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—I apprehend you. But you told me that we are, in all, about twenty millions of inhabitants, men, women, old and young. How much, pray, do you allow for each?

THE GUY WITH FORTY CROWNS.—I understand you. But you mentioned that we have around twenty million people, including men, women, the elderly, and children. How much do you estimate for each person?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—One hundred and twenty livres, or forty crowns.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—One hundred and twenty livres, or forty crowns.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—You have just guessed my revenue. I have four acres, which, reckoning the fallow years with those of produce, bring me in one hundred and twenty livres; which is little enough, God knows.

The Man of Forty Crowns.—You just figured out my income. I have four acres, and if you include the years when they aren't productive, they earn me one hundred and twenty livres, which is hardly anything, believe me.

But if every individual were to have his contingent, would that be no more than five louis d'ors a year?

But if everyone were to have their share, would that be no more than five louis d'ors a year?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Certainly not, according to our calculation, which I have a little amplified. Such is the state of human nature. Our life and our fortune have narrow limits. In Paris, they do not, one with another, live above twenty-two or twenty-three years, and, one with another, have not, at the most, above a hundred and twenty livres a year to spend. So that your food, your raiment, your lodging, your movables, are all represented by the sum of one hundred and twenty livres.

THE GEOMETRY EXPERT.—Definitely not, based on our calculations, which I've expanded a bit. That's just how human nature is. Our lives and fortunes have tight boundaries. In Paris, people generally live around twenty-two or twenty-three years, and on average, have no more than one hundred and twenty livres a year to spend. So, your food, clothing, housing, and personal belongings are all covered by that total of one hundred and twenty livres.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—Alas! What have I done to you, that you thus abridge me of my fortune and life? Can it then be true, that I have but three and twenty years to live, unless I rob my fellow-creatures of their share?

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—Oh no! What have I done to you, that you take away my fortune and my life like this? Is it really true that I only have twenty-three years left to live, unless I take from others what belongs to them?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—This is incontestable in the good city of Paris. But from these twenty-three years you must deduct ten, at the least, for your childhood, as childhood is not an enjoyment of life; it is a preparation; it is the porch of the edifice; it is the tree that has not yet given fruits; it is the dawn of a day. Then again, from the thirteen years which remain to you, deduct the time of sleep, and that of tiresomeness of life, and that will be at least a moiety. You will then have six years and a half left to pass in vexation, in pain, in some pleasures, and in hopes.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—This is undeniable in the great city of Paris. But from these twenty-three years, you need to subtract at least ten for your childhood, since childhood isn’t truly living; it’s preparation; it’s the entrance to the building; it’s the tree that hasn’t borne fruit yet; it’s the dawn of a day. Then, from the thirteen years that are left, deduct the time you spend sleeping and dealing with the frustrations of life, which will take away at least half. You’ll then have six and a half years left to spend in annoyance, in pain, in some pleasures, and in hopes.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—Merciful heaven! At this rate, your account does not allow us above three years of tolerable existence.

The Man of Forty Crowns.—Oh my gosh! At this pace, your account only gives us about three more years of decent living.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—-That is no fault of mine. Nature cares very little for individuals. There are insects which do not live above one day, but of which the species is perpetual. Nature resembles those great princes, who reckon as nothing the loss of four hundred thousand men, so they but accomplish their august designs.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—That's not my fault. Nature doesn't care much about individuals. There are insects that live for only a day, yet their species continues on forever. Nature is like those powerful leaders who dismiss the loss of four hundred thousand people as insignificant, as long as they achieve their grand goals.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—Forty Crowns and three years of life! What resource can you imagine against two such curses?

The Forty Crowns Man.—Forty Crowns and three years to live! What can you possibly do to fight against two such misfortunes?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—As to life, it would be requisite to render the air of Paris more pure—that men should eat less and take more exercise—that mothers should suckle their own children—that people should be no longer so ill-advised as to dread inoculation. This is what I have already said; and as to fortune, why, even marry and rear a family.

THE GEOMETRY EXPERT.—Regarding life, we need to make the air in Paris cleaner—that people should eat less and exercise more—that mothers should breastfeed their own children—and that people should stop being so foolish about fearing vaccinations. This is what I've already mentioned; and when it comes to luck, well, even get married and raise a family.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—How! Can the way to live more at ease be to associate to my own bad circumstances those of others?

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—What! Is the way to live more comfortably to connect my own troubles with those of others?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Five or six bad circumstances put together form a tolerable establishment. Get a good wife, and we will say only two sons and two daughters; this will make seven hundred and twenty livres for your little family, that is to say, if distributive justice were to take place, and that each individual had an hundred and twenty livres a year. Your children, in their infancy, stand you in almost nothing; when grown up they will ease and help you. Their mutual aid will save you a good part of your expenses, and you may live very happy, like a philosopher. Always provided, however, that those worthy gentlemen who govern the state have not the barbarity to extort from each of you twenty crowns a year. But the misfortune is, we are no longer in the golden age, where the men, born all equals, had an equal part in the nutritive productions of uncultivated land. The case is now far from being so good a one, as that every two-handed biped possesses land to the value of an hundred and twenty livres a year.

THE GEOMETRIST.—Five or six unfortunate situations combined can create a decent setup. Marry a good woman, and let’s say you have two sons and two daughters; that amounts to seven hundred and twenty livres for your small family, assuming that everyone gets an equal share of one hundred and twenty livres a year. Your kids, when they’re young, cost you almost nothing; once they’re grown, they’ll help and support you. Their teamwork will cut down on your expenses, and you can live quite happily, like a philosopher. However, this is only if those kind gentlemen in power don’t cruelly take twenty crowns a year from each of you. But sadly, we’re no longer in that golden age, where everyone was born equal and shared equally in the harvests of untamed land. The reality now is that not every able-bodied person owns land worth one hundred and twenty livres a year.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—'Sdeath! You ruin us. You said but just now, that in a country of fourscore millions of inhabitants, each of them ought to enjoy an hundred and twenty livres a year, and now you take them away from us again!

The Man of Forty Crowns.—'Damn it! You’re ruining us. You just said that in a country with eighty million people, everyone should have one hundred and twenty livres a year, and now you’re taking that away from us again!

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—I was computing according to the registers of the golden age, but we must reckon according to that of iron. There are many inhabitants who have but the value of ten crowns a year, others no more than four or five, and above six millions of men who have absolutely nothing.

THE GEOMETRY EXPERT.—I was calculating based on the records of the golden age, but we need to assess according to that of the iron age. Many people have an income of only ten crowns a year, others have just four or five, and over six million people have absolutely nothing.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—Nothing? Why they would perish of hunger in three days' time.

The Forty Crown Man.—Nothing? They would starve in three days.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Not in the least. The others, who possess their portions, set them to work, and share with them. It is from this arrangement that the pay comes for the divine, the confectioner, the apothecary, the preacher, the actor, the attorney, and the hackney-coachman. You thought yourself very ill off, to have no more than a hundred and twenty livres a year, reduced to a hundred and eight by your tax of twelve livres. But consider the soldiers who devote their blood to their country at the rate of fourpence a day. They have not above sixty-three livres a year for their livelihood, and yet they make a comfortable shift, by a number of them joining their little stock and living in common.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Not at all. The others, who have their shares, put them to use and share the profits. This setup is what pays the divine, the candy maker, the pharmacist, the preacher, the actor, the lawyer, and the cab driver. You thought you were pretty poor with only a hundred and twenty livres a year, which gets cut down to a hundred and eight after your twelve-livre tax. But think about the soldiers who sacrifice their lives for the country, earning just fourpence a day. They live on no more than sixty-three livres a year, and still manage to get by by pooling their resources and living together.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—So then an ex-Jesuit has more than five times the pay of a soldier. And yet the soldiers have done more service to the state under the eyes of the king at Fontenoy, at Laufelt, at the siege of Fribourg, than the reverend Father Le Valette ever did in his life.

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—So, an ex-Jesuit earns over five times what a soldier makes. And yet, the soldiers have provided more service to the state in front of the king at Fontenoy, Laufelt, and during the siege of Fribourg than Reverend Father Le Valette ever did in his lifetime.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Nothing can be truer: nay, every one of these turned-adrift Jesuits, having now become free, has more to spend than what he cost his convent. There are even some among them who have gained a good deal of money by scribbling pamphlets against the parliaments, as for example, the reverend father Patouillet, and the reverend father Monote. In short, in this world every one sets his wits to work for a livelihood. One is at the head of a manufactory of stuffs; another of porcelain; another undertakes the opera; another the Ecclesiastical Gazette; another a tragedy in familiar life, or a novel or romance in the English style; this maintains the stationer, the ink-maker, the bookseller, the hawker, who might else be reduced to beggary. There is nothing, then, but the restitution of the hundred and twenty livres to those who have nothing, that makes the state flourish.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Nothing could be more accurate: in fact, every one of these abandoned Jesuits, now set free, has more resources than what he cost his convent. Some of them have even made a good amount of money by writing pamphlets against the parliaments, like the respected Father Patouillet and the respected Father Monote. In short, everyone in this world puts their skills to work for a living. One manages a fabric factory; another runs a porcelain business; another is involved in the opera; another publishes the Ecclesiastical Gazette; yet another writes a slice-of-life tragedy or a novel or romance in the English style; this keeps the stationer, the ink manufacturer, the bookseller, and the street vendor from facing poverty. So, it’s really just the restoration of the hundred and twenty livres to those who have nothing that makes the state thrive.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—A pretty way of flourishing, truly!

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—What a fancy way to show off, really!

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—And yet there is no other. In every country it is the rich that enable the poor to live. This is the sole source of the industry of commerce. The more industrious a nation itself is, the more it gains from foreign countries. Could we, on our foreign trade, get ten millions a year by the balance in our favor, there would, in twenty years, be two hundred millions more in the nation. This would afford ten livres a head more, on the supposition of an equitable distribution; that is to say, that the dealers would make each poor person earn ten livres the more, once paid, in the hopes of making still more considerable gains. But commerce, like the fertility of the earth, has its bounds, otherwise its progression would be ad infinitum. Nor, besides, is it clear, that the balance of our trade is constantly favorable to us; there are times in which we lose.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—And yet, there’s no other way. In every country, it’s the wealthy who make it possible for the poor to survive. This is the only source of commerce and industry. The more hardworking a nation is, the more it benefits from other countries. If we could earn ten million a year from our foreign trade, in twenty years, our nation would have two hundred million more. This would mean an additional ten livres per person, assuming a fair distribution; in other words, that the merchants would enable each poor person to earn ten more livres, once paid, in hopes of achieving even greater profits. But commerce, like the fertility of the land, has its limits, or else its growth would go on forever. Moreover, it’s not certain that our trade balance is always in our favor; there are times when we incur losses.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—I have heard much talk of population. If our inhabitants were doubled, so that we numbered forty millions of people instead of twenty, what would be the consequence?

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—I’ve heard a lot of discussions about population. If our population doubled and we had forty million people instead of twenty, what would happen?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—It would be this: that, one with another, each would have, instead of forty, but twenty crowns to live upon; or that the land should produce double the crops it now does; or that there should be double the national industry, or of gain from foreign countries; or that half of the people should be sent to America; or that one half of the nation should eat the other.

THE GEOMETRIST.—It would be this: that, on average, each person would have, instead of forty, only twenty crowns to live on; or that the land should produce double the crops it currently does; or that there should be twice the national industry, or double the profits from foreign countries; or that half the population should be sent to America; or that one half of the nation should consume the other.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—Let us then remain satisfied with our twenty millions of inhabitants, and with our hundred and twenty livres a head, distributed as it shall please the Lord. Yet this situation is a sad one, and your iron age is hard indeed.

The Forty Crowns Man.—Let's just be happy with our twenty million people and our hundred and twenty livres per person, distributed however it pleases the Lord. Still, this situation is unfortunate, and your iron age is truly tough.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—There is no nation that is better off; and there are many that are worse. Do you believe that there is in the North wherewithal to afford to each inhabitant the value of an hundred and twenty of our livres a year? If they had had the equivalent of this, the Huns, the Vandals, and the Franks would not have deserted their country, in quest of establishments elsewhere, which they conquered, fire and sword in hand.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—No nation is doing better; many are doing worse. Do you think that in the North, they can provide each person with the value of one hundred and twenty of our livres a year? If they had, the Huns, the Vandals, and the Franks wouldn’t have abandoned their homeland in search of other places to conquer by force.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—If I were to listen to you, you would persuade me presently that I am happy with my hundred and twenty livres.

The Guy with Forty Crowns.—If I listened to you, you'd convince me that I'm satisfied with my hundred and twenty livres.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—If you would but think yourself happy, you would then be so.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—If you just believed you were happy, you would be.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—A man cannot imagine what actually is not, unless he be mad.

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—A person can't conceive of what doesn't actually exist, unless they're crazy.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—I have already told you, that in order to be more at your ease, and more happy than you are, you should take a wife; to which I tack, however, this clause, that she has, as well as you, one hundred and twenty livres a year; that is to say, four acres at ten crowns an acre. The ancient Romans had each but one. If your children are industrious, they can each earn as much by their working for others.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—I've already mentioned that to be more comfortable and happy than you are, you should get married; however, I add this condition: she should also have an annual income of one hundred and twenty livres, which means four acres at ten crowns per acre. The ancient Romans each had only one spouse. If your children are hardworking, they can each earn that much by working for others.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—So that they may get money, without others losing it.

THE FORTY CROWNS MAN.—So they can make money without anyone else losing it.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Such is the law of all nations: there is no living but on these terms.

THE GEOMETRY EXPERT.—This is the rule for all countries: you can’t survive without adhering to it.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—And must my wife and I give each of us the half of our produce to the legislative and executive power, and the new ministers of state rob us of the price of our hard labor, and of the substance of our poor children, before they are able to get their livelihood? Pray, tell me, how much money will these new ministers of ours bring into the king's coffers, by this jure divino system?

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—Do my wife and I really have to give half of what we earn to the government, while the new ministers take away the fruits of our hard work and what little our children have before they can even support themselves? Seriously, how much money will these new ministers actually bring into the king's treasury with this jure divino system?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—You pay twenty crowns on four acres, which bring you in forty. A rich man, who possesses four hundred acres will, by the new tariff, pay two thousand crowns; and the whole fourscore millions of acres will yield to the king, twelve hundred millions of livres a year, or four hundred millions of crowns.

THE GEOMETRY EXPERT.—You pay twenty crowns for four acres, which earn you forty. A wealthy person, who owns four hundred acres, will, with the new tax rate, pay two thousand crowns; and the entire eighty million acres will generate for the king twelve hundred million livres a year, or four hundred million crowns.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—That appears to me impracticable and impossible.

The Man of Forty Crowns.—That seems impossible to me.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—And very much you are in the right to think so: and this impossibility is a geometrical demonstration that there is a fundamental defect in the calculation of our new ministers.

THE GEOMETRY EXPERT.—You’re absolutely right to think that: this impossibility is a geometric proof that there’s a fundamental flaw in the calculations of our new ministers.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—Is not there also demonstrably a prodigious injustice in taking from me the half of my corn, of my hemp, of the wool of my sheep, etc., and, at the same time, to require no aid from those who shall have gained ten, twenty, or thirty thousand livres a year, by my hemp, of which they will have made linen,—by my wool, of which they will have made cloth,—by my corn, which they will have sold at so much more than it cost them?

The Man of Forty Crowns.—Isn’t there a clear injustice in taking half of my corn, my hemp, my sheep's wool, etc., while not requiring any contribution from those who have profited ten, twenty, or thirty thousand livres a year from my hemp, which they've turned into linen; from my wool, which they've converted into cloth; and from my corn, which they've sold for so much more than what they paid for it?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—The injustice of this administration is as evident as its calculation is erroneous. It is right to favor industry; but opulent industry ought to contribute to support the state. This industry will have certainly taken from you a part of your one hundred and twenty livres, and appropriated that part to itself, in selling you your shirts and your coat twenty times dearer than they would have cost you, if you had made them yourself. The manufacturer who shall have enriched himself, at your expense, will, I allow, have also paid wages to his workmen, who had nothing of themselves, but he will, every year, have sunk, and put by a sum that will, at length, have produced to him thirty thousand livres a year. This fortune then he will have acquired at your expense. Nor can you ever sell him the produce of your land dear enough to reimburse you for what he will have got by you; for were you to attempt such an advance of your price, he would procure what he wanted cheaper from other countries. A proof of which is, that he remains constantly possessor of his thirty thousand livres a year, and you of your one hundred and twenty livres, that often diminish, instead of increasing.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—The unfairness of this administration is as clear as its calculations are flawed. It's reasonable to support industry; however, wealthy industries should contribute to the state. These industries have definitely taken a part of your one hundred and twenty livres and kept that portion for themselves by selling you your shirts and coat at prices much higher than if you had made them yourself. The manufacturer who has enriched himself at your expense will, I admit, have also paid wages to his workers, who had nothing of their own, but he will have saved up a sum each year that eventually leads to him earning thirty thousand livres annually. This wealth will have been gained at your cost. Moreover, you can never sell him the products of your land for a high enough price to make up for what he has taken from you; if you tried to raise your prices, he would just find cheaper alternatives from other countries. The proof of this is that he consistently holds on to his thirty thousand livres a year, while you are left with your one hundred and twenty livres, which often decrease instead of grow.

It is then necessary and equitable, that the refined industry of the trader should pay more than the gross industry of the farmer. The same is to be said of the collectors of the revenue. Your tax had previously been but twelve livres, before our great ministers were pleased to take from you twenty crowns. On these twelve livres, the collector retained tenpence, or ten sols for himself. If in your province there were five hundred thousand souls, he will have gained two hundred and fifty thousand livres a year. Suppose he spends fifty thousand, it is clear, that at the end of ten years he will be two millions in pocket. It is then but just that he should contribute his proportion, otherwise, every thing would be perverted, and go to ruin.

It is necessary and fair that the skilled work of the trader should be compensated more than the basic work of the farmer. The same applies to the tax collectors. Your tax used to be only twelve livres before our high officials decided to take twenty crowns from you. Out of those twelve livres, the collector kept tenpence, or ten sols, for himself. If your province has five hundred thousand people, he would have earned two hundred and fifty thousand livres a year. If he spends fifty thousand, it’s clear that after ten years he will have two million in his pocket. It’s only right that he should pay his share; otherwise, everything will be corrupt and fall apart.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—I am very glad you have taxed the officer of the revenue. It is some relief to my imagination. But since he has so well increased his superfluity, what shall I do to augment my small modicum?

The Forty Crowned Man.—I'm really glad you questioned the tax officer. It gives my mind a bit of relief. But now that he has increased his excess, what can I do to boost my little bit?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—I have already told you, by marrying, by laboring, by trying to procure from your land some sheaves of corn in addition to what it previously produced.

THE GEOMETER.—I've already mentioned that by getting married, by working hard, and by attempting to get some additional sheaves of corn from your land beyond what it used to produce.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—Well! granted then that I shall have been duly industrious; that all my countrymen will have been so too; and that the legislative and executive power shall have received a good round tax; how much will the nation have gained at the end of the year?

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—Alright! Let's say I've worked hard; that all my fellow citizens have done the same; and that the lawmakers and those in charge have collected a solid tax; how much will the country have gained by the end of the year?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Nothing at all; unless it shall have carried on a profitable foreign trade. But life will have been more agreeable in it. Every one will, respectively, in proportion, have had more clothes, more linen, more movables than he had before. There will have been in the nation a more abundant circulation. The wages would have been, in process of time, augmented, nearly in proportion to the number of the sheaves of corn, of the tods of wool, of the ox-hides, of the sheep and goats, that will have been added, of the clusters of grapes that will have been squeezed in the wine-press. More of the value of commodities will have been paid to the king in money, and the king will have returned more value to those he will have employed under his orders; but there will not be half a crown the more in the kingdom.

THE GEOMETRIST.—Nothing at all; unless it has engaged in a successful foreign trade. But life will have been more enjoyable there. Everyone will have, in proportion, had more clothes, more linens, more belongings than before. The nation will have experienced a more abundant flow of goods. Wages would have increased over time, roughly in line with the number of bushels of grain, bundles of wool, ox hides, sheep, and goats that have been added, as well as the clusters of grapes that have been crushed in the wine press. More of the value of goods will have been paid to the king in cash, and the king will have provided more value in return to those he has employed; yet, there won’t be an extra half a crown in the kingdom.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—-What will then remain to the government at the end of the year?

The Man of Forty Crowns.—-What will the government have left at the end of the year?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Once more, nothing. This is the case of government in general. It never lays by anything. It will have got its living, that is to say, its food, raiment, lodging, movables. The subject will have done so too. Where a government amasses treasure, it will have squeezed from the circulation so much money as it will have amassed. It will have made so many wretched, as it will have put by forty crowns in its coffers.

THE GEOMETRIST.—Once again, nothing. This is true of government in general. It never saves anything. It will have secured its own needs, meaning its food, clothing, shelter, and belongings. The citizens will have done the same. Whenever a government accumulates wealth, it will have extracted that money from circulation, taking as much as it has gathered. It will have caused so many people to suffer for every forty crowns it puts into its coffers.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—At this rate, then, Henry IV. was but a mean-spirited wretch, a miser, a plunderer, for I have been told that he had chested up in the Bastile, above fifty millions of livres according to our present currency.

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS.—At this rate, it seems that Henry IV was just a selfish coward, a miser, a thief, because I’ve heard he hoarded over fifty million livres in the Bastille according to today's currency.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—He was a man as good, and as prudent, as he was brave. He was preparing to make a just war, and by amassing in his coffers twenty-two millions of the currency of that time, besides which he had twenty more to receive, which he left in circulation, he spared the people above a hundred millions that it would have cost, if he had not taken those useful measures. He made himself morally sure of success against an enemy who had not taken the like precaution. The probabilities were prodigiously in his favor. His twenty-two millions, in bank, proved that there was then in this kingdom, twenty-two millions of surplusage of the territorial produce, so that no one was a sufferer.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—He was a man as kind and wise as he was courageous. He was getting ready to wage a just war, saving up twenty-two million of the currency of his time, plus he had another twenty million to collect, which he kept in circulation. Because of his smart planning, he saved the people over a hundred million that they would have had to spend otherwise. He was morally confident about winning against an enemy who hadn’t taken similar precautions. The odds were hugely in his favor. His twenty-two million in the bank showed that there was a twenty-two million surplus in the country’s agricultural output, so no one was worse off.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—My father then told me the truth, when he said that the subject was in proportion more rich under the administration of the Duke of Sully than under that of our new ministers, who had laid on the single tax, the sole tax, and who, out of my forty crowns, have taken away twenty. Pray, tell me, is there another nation in the world that enjoys this precious advantage of the sole tax?

The Man of Forty Crowns.—My father then told me the truth when he said that the situation was much better under the management of the Duke of Sully than with our new ministers, who imposed the single tax, the sole tax, and have taken away twenty of my forty crowns. Seriously, is there any other country in the world that benefits from this precious sole tax?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Not one opulent nation. The English, who are not much giving to laughing, could not, however, help bursting out, when they heard that men of intelligence, among us, had proposed this kind of administration. The Chinese exact a tax from all the foreign trading ships that resort to Canton. The Dutch pay, at Nangazaqui, when they are received in Japan, under pretext that they are not Christians. The Laplanders, and the Samoieds, are indeed subjected to a sole tax in sables or marten-skins. The republic of St. Marino pays nothing more than tithes for the maintenance of that state in its splendor.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Not one wealthy nation. The English, who aren’t known for their sense of humor, couldn't help but laugh when they heard that intelligent people among us had suggested this type of administration. The Chinese impose a tax on all the foreign trading ships that come to Canton. The Dutch pay a tax in Nangazaqui when they’re allowed in Japan, claiming it’s because they aren’t Christians. The Laplanders and the Samoieds are subjected to a single tax in furs or marten-skins. The Republic of St. Marino pays nothing more than tithes to keep the state in its grandeur.

There is, in Europe, a nation celebrated for its equity and its valor, that pays no tax. This is Switzerland. But thus it has happened. The people have put themselves in the place of the Dukes of Austria and of Zeringue. The small cantons are democratical, and very poor. Each inhabitant pays but a trifling sum toward the support of this little republic. In the rich cantons, the people are charged, for the state, with those duties which the Archdukes of Austria and the lords of the land used to exact. The protestant cantons are, in proportion, twice as rich as the catholic, because the state, in the first, possesses the lands of the monks. Those who were formerly subjects to the Archdukes of Austria, to the Duke of Zeringue, and to the monks, are now the subjects of their own country. They pay to that country the same tithes, the same fines of alienation, that they paid to their former masters; and as the subjects, in general, have very little trade, their merchandise is liable to no charges, except some small staple duties. The men make a trade of their courage, in their dealings with foreign powers, and sell themselves for a certain term of years, which brings some money into their country at our expense: and this example is as singular a one in the civilized world, as is the sole tax now laid on by our new legislators.

There is a country in Europe known for its fairness and bravery that doesn’t pay taxes. That country is Switzerland. Here’s how it happened: the people have taken the place of the Dukes of Austria and Zeringue. The smaller cantons are democratic and quite poor. Each resident contributes only a small amount to support this little republic. In the wealthier cantons, the citizens are charged taxes for the state, similar to the demands that the Archdukes of Austria and the landowners used to impose. The Protestant cantons are roughly twice as wealthy as the Catholic ones because, in the first, the state owns the lands that were once held by the monks. Those who were once subjects of the Archdukes of Austria, the Duke of Zeringue, and the monks are now subjects of their own nation. They pay the same tithes and fines for land transfer to their country that they used to pay to their former rulers; and since most citizens engage in very little trade, their goods aren’t subject to many charges, just a few minor staple fees. The men make a living from their bravery, negotiating with foreign powers and selling their services for a set number of years, which brings some income into their country at our expense. This situation is as unique in the civilized world as the single tax now imposed by our new lawmakers.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—So, sir, the Swiss are not plundered, jure divino, of one-half of their goods; and he that has four cows in Switzerland is not obliged to give two of them to the state?

The Man of Forty Crowns.—So, sir, the Swiss aren't robbed, jure divino, of half their belongings; and someone with four cows in Switzerland doesn't have to give two of them to the government?

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Undoubtedly, not. In one canton, upon thirteen tons of wine, they pay one, and drink the other twelve. In another canton, they pay the twelfth, and drink the remaining eleven.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Definitely not. In one area, they pay for one ton of wine out of thirteen and drink the other twelve. In another area, they pay for one twelfth and drink the other eleven.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—Why am not I a Swiss? That cursed tax, that single and singularly iniquitous tax, that has reduced me to beggary! But then again, three or four hundred taxes, of which it is impossible for me to retain or pronounce the bare names, are they more just and more tolerable? Was there ever a legislator, who, in founding a state, wished to create counselors to the king, inspectors of coal-meters, gaugers of wine, measurers of wood, searchers of hog-tongues, comptrollers of salt butter? or to maintain an army of rascals, twice as numerous as that of Alexander, commanded by sixty generals, who lay the country under contribution, who gain, every day, signal victories, who take prisoners, and who sometimes sacrifice them in the air, or on a boarded stage, as the ancient Scythians did, according to what my vicar told me?

The Man with Forty Crowns.—Why am I not Swiss? That damn tax, that uniquely outrageous tax, has left me in poverty! But then again, are the three or four hundred other taxes, which I can hardly even name, any fairer or easier to deal with? Has there ever been a lawmaker who, in establishing a state, aimed to create counselors to the king, coal meter inspectors, wine gaugers, wood measurers, hog-tongue checkers, or salt butter auditors? Or to support an army of scoundrels, twice as large as Alexander’s, led by sixty generals, who burden the country, who win daily victories, who capture prisoners, and who sometimes sacrifice them in the air or on a raised platform, just like the ancient Scythians did, according to what my vicar told me?

Now, was such a legislation, against which so many outcries were raised, and which caused the shedding of so many tears, much better than the newly imposed one, which at one stroke, cleanly and quietly takes away half of my subsistence? I am afraid, that on a fair liquidation, it will be found that under the ancient system of the revenue, they used to take, at times and in detail, three-quarters of it.

Now, was this legislation, which caused so many protests and so many tears, really any better than the new one that suddenly and quietly takes away half of my livelihood? I'm afraid that if we take an honest look, we’ll see that under the old tax system, they often took three-quarters of it in bits and pieces.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—Iliacos intra muros peccatur et extra. Est modus in retus. Caveas fine quidnimie.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—There are sins both inside and outside the walls. There is a way to be straight. Be careful without any regrets.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—I have learned a little of history, and something of geometry; but I do not understand a word of Latin.

The Man of Forty Crowns.—I've picked up a bit of history and some geometry, but I can't make sense of any Latin.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—The sense is, pretty nearly, as follows. There is wrong on both sides. Keep to a medium in every thing. Nothing too much.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—The idea is, more or less, as follows. Both sides have their faults. Find a balance in everything. Nothing in excess.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—I say, nothing too much; that is really my situation; but the worst of it is, I have not enough.

The Man with Forty Crowns.—I mean, it's nothing extreme; that’s honestly where I stand; but the worst part is, I just don’t have enough.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—I allow that you must perish of want, and I too, and the state too, if the new administration should continue only two years longer; but it is to be hoped heaven will have mercy on us.

THE GEOMETRY EXPERT.—I admit that you will suffer from lack, and so will I, as will the state, if the new administration lasts just two more years; but hopefully, heaven will show us some mercy.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—We pass our lives in hope, and die hoping to the last. Adieu, sir, you have enlightened me, but my heart is grieved.

THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.—We spend our lives hoping, and we die still hoping. Goodbye, sir, you have opened my eyes, but my heart is heavy.

THE GEOMETRICIAN.—This is, indeed, often the fruit of knowledge.

THE GEOMETRY EXPERT.—This is, in fact, often the result of knowledge.

Palace of the barefooted Carmelites. Palace of the barefooted Carmelites.—"What can I get you, my son?"—"A piece of bread, my respected father. The new laws have taken everything from me."—"My son, understand that we also rely on charity; we do not give it."

IV.

AN ADVENTURE WITH A CARMELITE.

When I had thanked the academician of the Academy of Sciences, for having set me right, I went away quite out of heart, praising providence, but muttering between my teeth these doleful words: "What! to have no more than forty crowns a year to live on, nor more than twenty-two years to live! Alas! may our life be yet shorter, since it is to be so miserable!"

When I thanked the scholar from the Academy of Sciences for correcting me, I left feeling pretty down, grateful for fate but quietly muttering these sad words: "What! to have no more than forty crowns a year to live on, nor more than twenty-two years to live! Alas! may our life be even shorter, since it is going to be so miserable!"

As I was saying this, I found myself just opposite a very superb house. Already was I feeling myself pressed by hunger. I had not so much as the hundred and twentieth part of the sum that by right belongs to each individual. But as soon as I was told that this was the palace of my reverend fathers, the bare-footed Carmelites, I conceived great hopes, and said to myself, since these saints are humble enough to go bare-footed, they will be charitable enough to give me a dinner.

As I was saying this, I found myself right in front of a very impressive house. I was already feeling hungry. I didn't even have a fraction of what everyone else should have. But as soon as I learned that this was the palace of my revered fathers, the bare-footed Carmelites, I felt a surge of hope and thought to myself, since these saints are humble enough to go barefoot, they will be kind enough to give me a meal.

I rang. A Carmelite came to the door.

I rang the bell. A Carmelite answered the door.

"What would you please to have, my son?"

"What would you like to have, my son?"

"A morsel of bread, my reverend father. The new edicts have stripped me of every thing."

"A piece of bread, my dear father. The new laws have taken everything from me."

Son, know that we ourselves beg charity; we do not bestow it."[1]

Son, understand that we ourselves ask for charity; we do not give it. [1]

"What! while your holy institute forbids you to wear shoes, you have the house of a prince, and can you refuse to me a meal?"

"What! While your sacred institution tells you not to wear shoes, you're living in a prince's house, and you can’t even offer me a meal?"

"My son, it is true, we go without stockings and shoes; that is an expense the less; we feel no more cold in our feet than in our hands. As to our fine house, we built it very easily, as we have a hundred thousand livres a year of income from houses in the same street."

"My son, it's true that we don’t wear stockings and shoes; that saves us some money. We don’t feel any more cold in our feet than in our hands. Regarding our nice house, we built it quite easily since we earn a hundred thousand livres a year from properties on the same street."

"So, then! you suffer me to die of hunger, while you have an income of a hundred thousand livres! I suppose you pay fifty thousand of these to the new government?"

"So, then! you let me starve while you have an income of a hundred thousand livres! I guess you give fifty thousand of that to the new government?"

"Heaven preserve us from paying a single farthing! It is only the produce of the land cultivated by laborious hands, callous with work, and moistened with tears, that owes taxes to the legislative and executive power. The alms which have been bestowed upon us, have enabled us to build those houses, by the rent of which we get a hundred thousand livres a year. But these alms, coming from the fruits of the earth, and having, consequently, already paid the tax, ought not to pay twice. They have sanctified the faithful believers, who have impoverished themselves to enrich us, and we continue to beg charity, and to lay under contribution the Fauxbourg of St. Germain, in order to sanctify a still greater number of the faithful believers."[2]

"God save us from paying even a penny! It's only the fruits of the land worked on by hardworking people, worn out from toil and soaked in tears, that owe taxes to the lawmakers and rulers. The donations we've received have allowed us to build those houses, which bring in a hundred thousand livres a year in rent. But these donations, coming from the earth's produce and already taxed, shouldn't be taxed again. They have blessed the devoted believers who have sacrificed their own wealth to enrich us, and yet we still ask for charity and impose taxes on the Fauxbourg of St. Germain to bless even more devoted believers."[2]

Having thus spoken, the Carmelite politely shut the door in my face.

Having said that, the Carmelite politely closed the door in my face.

I then passed along and stopped before the Hôtel of the Mousquetaires gris, and related to those gentlemen what had just happened to me. They gave me a good dinner and half a crown, (un ecu). One of them proposed to go directly and set fire to the convent; but a musqueteer, more discreet than he, remonstrated with him, insisting that the time for action had not yet arrived, and implored him to wait patiently a little longer.[3]

I then walked by and stopped in front of the Hôtel of the Mousquetaires gris, and told those gentlemen what had just happened to me. They treated me to a nice dinner and gave me half a crown, (un ecu). One of them suggested that we should go right away and burn down the convent; but a more sensible musketeer objected, arguing that it wasn't the right time to act yet, and urged him to be patient a little longer.[3]

[1] Victor Hugo in his poem, Christ at the Vatican, (translated by G.B. Burleigh,) rebukes this inhuman spirit of monkish greed and avarice, which always receives but neves gives in return. In the poem, Christ is represented as saying:

[1] Victor Hugo in his poem, Christ at the Vatican, (translated by G.B. Burleigh,) criticizes this cruel attitude of selfishness and greed that always takes but never gives back. In the poem, Christ is depicted as saying:

"——I have said,
'I will have mercy and not sacrifice;'—
Have said, 'Give freely what, without a price,
Was given to you.' To my redeemed, instead,
You sell baptism upon their natal bed;
Sell to the sinner void indulgences;
To lovers sell the natural right to wed;
Sell to the dying the privilege of decease,
And sell your funeral masses to the dead!
Your prayers and masses and communions sell;
Beads, benedictions, crosses; in your eyes
Nothing is sacred,—all is merchandise."—E.

"——I said,"
"I'll be compassionate and won't require a sacrifice;"—
I've said, 'Share generously what, at no cost,
"Was given to you." Instead, to my redeemed,
You offer baptism when they are born;
Sell indulgences to sinners;
Promote the natural right to marry to couples;
Sell the right to pass on to those who are dying.
And sell your funeral services to the deceased!
You sell your prayers, services, and communions;
Beads, blessings, crosses; in your eyes.
"Nothing is sacred—everything is up for grabs." —E.

[2] In a recent number of The Nineteenth Century, Mr. Alex. A. Knox, in an able criticism on the writings of Voltaire, says very truly:

[2] In a recent issue of The Nineteenth Century, Mr. Alex A. Knox, in a sharp critique of Voltaire’s works, states quite accurately:

"It should not be forgotten that in his day a very large portion of the soil of France was in the hands of the clergy, free from all burdens, save in so far as the clergy chose to execute them by the way of 'gratuitous gifts.' The condition of the French peasant was frightful. Arthur Young, Dr. Moore, and others have described it at a somewhat later date, but it was even so in Voltaire's time. Of course the 'clerical immunities' were far from being the only cause of all this misery; but they were a frightful addition to it."

"It shouldn't be forgotten that during his time, a huge portion of the land in France was owned by the clergy, free from all taxes, except for what the clergy decided to contribute through 'voluntary gifts.' The situation for the French peasant was terrible. Arthur Young, Dr. Moore, and others described it a bit later, but it was just as bad in Voltaire’s era. Of course, the 'clerical privileges' weren’t the only reason for this suffering; they were, however, a terrible factor that added to it."

[3] The degradation of labor, and the corruption and injustice of the papal priesthood, were the inciting causes of the great revolution in France, which at length overturned the monarchy, and convulsed, for so long a period, every nation in Europe. In reading this romance of the hardships of the laborer, we may learn to comprehend the true principles of Voltaire, and recognize his great benevolence and sympathy with suffering and distress. We may also listen to the first faint mutterings of the terrible storm of blood and retribution, that was so soon to burst over unhappy France, and overwhelm in its lurid course all ranks and conditions of mankind—the innocent and the guilty, the oppressed and the oppressor, the peasant and the priest.—E.

[3] The decline of labor, along with the corruption and injustice of the papal clergy, were the driving forces behind the great revolution in France, which ultimately brought down the monarchy and shook every nation in Europe for a long time. In reading this story about the struggles of the laborer, we can understand the true principles of Voltaire and see his deep kindness and empathy for those who are suffering. We can also hear the first faint signs of the terrible storm of violence and retribution that was soon to erupt over unfortunate France, sweeping away all classes of people—the innocent and the guilty, the oppressed and the oppressors, the peasant and the priest.—E.


V.

COMPTROLLER GENERAL'S AUDIENCE.

I went, with my half-crown, to present a petition to the comptroller general, who was that day giving audience.

I went, with my two-shilling-and-sixpence, to submit a petition to the comptroller general, who was meeting with people that day.

His anti-chamber was filled with people of all kinds. There were there especially some with more bluff faces, more prominent bellies, and more arrogant looks than my man of eight millions. I durst not draw near to them; I saw them, but they did not observe me.

His waiting room was packed with all sorts of people. Among them were a few with more rugged faces, bigger bellies, and more arrogant expressions than my guy with eight million. I didn’t dare approach them; I could see them, but they didn’t notice me.

A monk, a great man for tithes, had begun a suit at law against certain subjects of the state, whom he called his tenants. He had already a larger income than the half of his parishioners put together, and was moreover lord of the manor. His claim was, that whereas his vassals had, with infinite pains, converted their heaths into vineyards, they owed him a tithe of the wine, which, taking into the account the price of labor, of the vine-props, of the casks and cellarage, would carry off above a quarter of the produce.

A monk, quite dedicated to collecting tithes, had started a legal case against some local residents, whom he referred to as his tenants. He already had an income greater than all of his parishioners combined and was also the lord of the manor. His argument was that since his vassals had worked tirelessly to turn their barren land into vineyards, they owed him a tithe on the wine they produced, which, when factoring in labor costs, trellises, barrels, and storage, would amount to over a quarter of the harvest.

"But," said he, "as the tithes are due, jure divino, I demand the quarter of the substance of my tenants, in the name of God."

"But," he said, "since the tithes are due, jure divino, I request a quarter of my tenants' resources in the name of God."

The minister of the revenue said to him, "I see how charitable you are."

The revenue minister said to him, "I can see how generous you are."

A farmer-general, extremely well-skilled in assessments, interposed, saying:

A highly skilled farmer-general, adept at evaluations, intervened, saying:

"Sir, that village can afford nothing to this monk; as I have, but the last year, made the parishioners pay thirty-two taxes on their wine, besides their over-consumption of the allowance for their own drinking. They are entirely ruined. I have seized and sold their cattle and movables, and yet they are still my debtors. I protest, then, against the claim of the reverend father."

"Sir, that village can't give anything to this monk; just last year, I had the parishioners pay thirty-two taxes on their wine, in addition to their excessive drinking. They're completely broke. I've taken and sold their cattle and belongings, and they still owe me money. So, I formally oppose the claim of the reverend father."

"You are in the right," answered the minister of the revenue, "to be his rival; you both equally love your neighbor, and you both edify me."

"You’re right," replied the revenue minister, "to be his rival; you both care for your neighbor, and you both inspire me."

A third, a monk and lord of the manor, whose tenants were in mortmain, was waiting for a decree of the council that should put him in possession of all the estate of a Paris cockney, who having, inadvertently, lived a year and a day in a house subject to this servitude, and inclosed within the hands of this priest, had died at the year's end. The monk was claiming all the estate of this cockney, and claiming it jure divino.

A third person, a monk and lord of the manor, whose tenants were in a state of permanent servitude, was waiting for a council decision that would give him control of all the property owned by a Parisian who, unknowingly, had lived for a year and a day in a house under this obligation, and was now within the priest's grasp, having died at the end of the year. The monk was asserting his right to inherit all of this Parisian's property, claiming it by divine right.

The minister found by this, that the heart of this monk was as just and as tender as those of the others.

The minister discovered that the heart of this monk was just as fair and compassionate as the others.

A fourth, who was comptroller of the royal domains, presented a specious memorial, in which he justified himself for his having reduced twenty families to beggary. They had inherited from their uncles, their aunts, their brothers, or cousins; and were liable to pay the duties. The officers of the domain had generously proved to them, that they had not set the full value on their inheritances,—that they were much richer than they believed, and, consequently, having condemned them to a triple fine, ruined them in charges, and threw the heads of the families into jail, he had bought their best possessions without untying his purse-strings.

A fourth person, who was the controller of the royal estates, submitted a deceptive report where he defended himself for reducing twenty families to poverty. They had inherited property from their uncles, aunts, brothers, or cousins and were responsible for paying the taxes. The estate officers had kindly shown them that they weren’t accurately valuing their inheritances—that they were actually much wealthier than they thought. As a result, after fining them three times the amount, he destroyed them financially and imprisoned the heads of the families, all while acquiring their best possessions without spending a dime.

The comptroller general said to him, in a tone indeed rather bitter:

The comptroller general said to him, in a tone that was definitely quite bitter:

"Euge, controlleur bone et fidelis, quia supra pauca fuisti fidelis, fermier-general te constituam."

"Well done, good and faithful steward. Since you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many."

But to a master of the requests, who was standing at his side, he said in a low voice:

But to a master of requests, who was standing next to him, he said quietly:

"We must make these blood-suckers, sacred and profane, disgorge. It is time to give some relief to the people, who, without our care, and our equity, would have nothing to live upon in this world at least, however they might fare in the other."

"We need to get these bloodsuckers, both sacred and profane, to give back what they've taken. It's time to provide some relief to the people who, without our support and fairness, would have nothing to survive on in this world, no matter how they might do in the next."

Some, of profound genius, presented projects to him. One of them had imagined a scheme to lay a tax on wit. "All the world," said he, "will be eager to pay, as no one cares to pass for a fool."

Some individuals of great intellect proposed ideas to him. One of them had come up with a plan to impose a tax on wit. "Everyone," he said, "will be eager to pay, since no one wants to be seen as a fool."

The minister declared to him, "I exempt you from the tax."

The minister said to him, "You're exempt from the tax."

Another proposed to lay the only tax upon songs and laughing, in consideration that we were the merriest nation under the sun, and that a song was a relief and comfort for every thing. But the minister observed, that of late there were hardly any songs of pleasantry made; and he was afraid that, to escape the tax, we would become too serious.

Another suggested that we should only tax songs and laughter, considering that we were the happiest nation under the sun, and that a song was a source of relief and comfort for everything. But the minister noted that recently there were hardly any cheerful songs being made; and he was worried that, to avoid the tax, we would become too serious.

The next that presented himself, was a trusty and loyal subject, who offered to raise for the king three times as much, by making the nation pay three times less. The minister advised him to learn arithmetic.

The next person to come forward was a faithful and loyal subject, who offered to gather three times the amount for the king by making the nation pay three times less. The minister suggested he should learn arithmetic.

A fourth proved to the king in the way of friendship, that he could not raise above seventy-five millions, but that he was going to procure him two hundred and twenty-five. "You will oblige me in this," said the minister, "as soon as we shall have paid the public debts."

A fourth showed the king through friendship that he couldn't raise more than seventy-five million, but that he was going to get him two hundred and twenty-five million. "You’ll help me with this," said the minister, "as soon as we’ve cleared the public debts."

At length, who should appear but a deputy of the new author, who makes the legislative power co-proprietor of all our lands, jure divino, and who was giving the king twelve hundred millions of revenue. I knew the man again who had flung me into prison for not having paid my twenty crowns, and throwing myself at the feet of the comptroller general, I implored his justice; upon which, he burst out a laughing, and telling me, it was a trick that had been played me, he ordered the doers of this mischief in jest to pay me a hundred crowns damages, and exempted me from the land-tax for the rest of my life. I said to him, "God bless your honor!"

Finally, who should show up but a representative of the new author, who makes the legislative power a co-owner of all our lands, jure divino, and who was granting the king twelve hundred million in revenue. I recognized the guy who had thrown me in prison for not paying my twenty crowns, and throwing myself at the feet of the comptroller general, I begged for his justice; he laughed and told me it was a trick that had been played on me, then ordered those who caused this trouble as a joke to pay me a hundred crowns in damages and exempted me from the land tax for the rest of my life. I said to him, "God bless your honor!"


VI.

THE MAN WITH FORTY CROWNS GETS MARRIED, BECOMES A FATHER, AND SPEAKS ABOUT THE MONKS.

The Man of Forty Crowns having improved his understanding, and having accumulated a moderate fortune, married a very pretty girl, who had an hundred crowns a year of her own. As soon as his son was born, he felt himself a man of some consequence in the state. He was famous for making the best baskets in the world, and his wife was an excellent seamstress. She was born in the neighborhood of a rich abbey of a hundred thousand livres a year. Her husband asked me one day, why those gentlemen, who were so few in number, had swallowed so many of the forty crown lots? "Are they more useful to their country than I am?" "No, dear neighbor." "Do they, like me, contribute at least to the population of it?" "No." "Do they cultivate the land? Do they defend the state when it is attacked?" "No, they pray to God for us." "Well, then, I will pray to God for us." "Well, then, I will pray to God for them, in return."

The Man of Forty Crowns, having improved his knowledge and built a decent fortune, married a very pretty girl who had an income of a hundred crowns a year. As soon as his son was born, he felt he was someone important in society. He was known for making the best baskets in the world, and his wife was an excellent seamstress. She grew up near a wealthy abbey that earned a hundred thousand livres a year. One day, her husband asked me why those gentlemen, who were so few in number, had taken so many of the forty crown lots. "Are they more beneficial to their country than I am?" "No, dear neighbor." "Do they, like me, contribute at least to its population?" "No." "Do they farm the land? Do they defend the country when it's under attack?" "No, they pray to God for us." "Well, then, I will pray to God for us." "Alright, then I will pray to God for them in return."

QUESTION.—How many of these useful gentry, men and women, may the convents in this kingdom contain?

QUESTION.—How many of these helpful people, men and women, might the convents in this kingdom hold?

ANSWER.—By the lists of the superintendents, taken toward the end of the last century, there were about ninety thousand.

Understood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize..—According to the lists from the superintendents, compiled towards the end of the last century, there were about ninety thousand.

QUESTION.—According to our ancient account, they ought not, at forty crowns a head, to possess above ten millions eight hundred thousand livres. Pray, how much have they actually?

QUESTION.—Based on our old records, they shouldn't have more than ten million eight hundred thousand livres at forty crowns per person. So, how much do they really have?

ANSWER.—They have to the amount of fifty millions, including the masses, and alms to the mendicant monks, who really lay a considerable tax on the people. A begging friar of a convent in Paris, publicly bragged that his wallet was worth fourscore thousand livres a year.

Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize..—They total about fifty million, including the offerings and donations to the begging monks, who actually impose a significant burden on the people. A begging friar from a convent in Paris openly boasted that his earnings were worth eighty thousand livres a year.

QUESTION.—Let us now consider how much the repartition of fifty millions among ninety thousand shaven crowns gives to each? Let us see, is it not five hundred and fifty-five livres?

QUESTION.—Let's now think about how much dividing fifty million among ninety thousand bald heads gives to each person. So, is it not five hundred and fifty-five livres?

ANSWER.—Yes, and a considerable sum it is in a numerous society, where the expenses even diminish by the quantity of consumers; for ten persons may live together much cheaper than if each had his separate lodging and table.

I'm ready for your text. Please provide it..—Yes, and it’s quite a significant amount in a large community, where costs actually go down with more people; because ten people can live together for much less than if each had their own place to stay and eat.

QUESTION.—So that the ex-Jesuits, to whom there is now assigned a pension of four hundred livres, are then really losers by the bargain.

QUESTION.—So, the ex-Jesuits, who are now receiving a pension of four hundred livres, are actually at a disadvantage in this deal.

ANSWER.—I do not think so; for they are almost all of them retired among their friends, who assist them. Several of them say masses for money, which they did not do before; others get to be preceptors; some are maintained by female bigots; each has made a shift for himself: and, perhaps, at this time, there are few of them, who have tasted of the world, and of liberty, that would resume their former chains. The monkish life, whatever they may say, is not at all to be envied. It is a maxim well known, that the monks are a kind of people who assemble without knowing, live without loving, and die without regretting each other.

Sure, please provide the text you would like me to modernize..—I don’t think so; almost all of them are now spending time with friends who support them. Several of them say masses for money that they didn’t do before; others become tutors; some are taken care of by female devotees; each has figured out a way to manage. And maybe, at this point, there are few of them who have experienced the world and freedom that would want to go back to their old lives. The monastic life, no matter what they claim, isn’t something to envy at all. It’s a well-known saying that monks are a group of people who gather without truly knowing each other, live without loving, and die without missing one another.

QUESTION.—You think, then, that it would be doing them a great service, to strip them of all their monks' habits?

QUESTION.—So you believe it would really help them to take away all their monk robes?

ANSWER.—They would undoubtedly gain much by it, and the state still more. It would restore to the country a number of subjects, men and women, who have rashly sacrificed their liberty, at an age to which the laws do not allow a capacity of disposing of tenpence a year income. It would be taking these corpses out of their tombs, and afford a true resurrection. Their houses might become hospitals, or be turned into places for manufactures. Population would be increased. All the arts would be better cultivated. One might at least diminish the number of these voluntary victims by fixing the number of novices. The country would have subjects more useful, and less unhappy. Such is the opinion of all the magistrates, such the unanimous wish of the public, since its understanding is enlightened. The example of England, and other states, is an evident proof of the necessity of this reformation. What would England do at this time, if, instead of forty thousand seamen, it had forty thousand monks? The more they are multiplied, the greater need there is of a number of industrious subjects. There are undoubtedly buried in the cloisters many talents, which are lost to the state. To make a kingdom nourish, there should be the fewest priests and the most artisans possible. So far ought the ignorance and barbarism of our forefathers to be from being any rule for us, that they ought rather to be an admonition to us, to do what they would do, if they were in our place, with our improvements in knowledge.

Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize..—They would definitely benefit a lot from it, and the state even more. It would bring back many individuals, both men and women, who have foolishly given up their freedom at an age where the laws don’t even allow them to manage an income of ten pence a year. It would be like taking these lost souls out of their graves, providing a real revival. Their homes could serve as hospitals or be transformed into manufacturing sites. The population would grow. All the arts would flourish more. At the very least, we could reduce the number of these voluntary sacrifices by limiting the number of novices. The country would have citizens who are more useful and less miserable. This is the view of all the magistrates, and the shared desire of the public, since their understanding has evolved. The example of England and other nations clearly shows the need for this change. What would England do right now if it had forty thousand monks instead of forty thousand sailors? The more monks there are, the greater the need for industrious citizens. There are undoubtedly many talents wasted in monasteries that could benefit the state. To make a kingdom thrive, we should have as few priests as possible and the most artisans. The ignorance and barbarism of our ancestors should not serve as our guide; instead, they should remind us to do what they would have done if they were in our situation, equipped with our advancements in knowledge.

QUESTION.—It is not then out of hatred to monks that you wish to abolish them, but out of love to your country? I think as you do. I would not have my son a monk. And if I thought I was to rear children for nothing better than a cloister, I would not wish to become a father.

QUESTION.—So, it's not because you hate monks that you want to get rid of them, but because you care about your country? I agree with you. I wouldn't want my son to be a monk. And if I believed I was raising children for nothing better than a monastery, I wouldn't want to be a father.

ANSWER.—Where in fact, is that good father of a family that would not groan to see his son and daughter lost to society? This is seeking the safety of the soul. It may be so, but a soldier that seeks the safety of his body, when his duty is to fight, is punished. We are all soldiers of the state; we are in the pay of society; we become deserters when we quit it.

Please provide the text you would like me to modernize..—Where is the good father who wouldn't be upset to see his son and daughter lost to society? This is about protecting the soul. It might be true, but a soldier who prioritizes his own safety when his duty is to fight gets punished. We are all soldiers of the state; we work for society; we become deserters when we abandon it.

Why, then, has monkishness prevailed? Because, since the days of Constantine, the government has been everywhere absurd and detestable; because the Roman empire came to have more monks than soldiers; because there were a hundred thousand of them in Egypt alone; because they were exempt from labor and taxes; because the chiefs of those barbarous nations which destroyed the empire, having turned Christians, in order to govern Christians, exercised the most horrid tyranny; because, to avoid the fury of these tyrants, people threw themselves in crowds into cloisters, and so, to escape one servitude, put themselves into another; because the popes, by instituting so many different orders of sacred drones, contrived to have so many subjects to themselves in other states; because a peasant likes better to be called reverend father, and to give his benedictions, than to follow a plough's tail; because he does not know that the plough is nobler than a monk's habit; because he had rather live at the expense of fools than by a laborious occupation; in short, because he does not know that, in making a monk of himself, he is preparing for himself unhappy days, of which the sad groundwork will be nothing but a tedium vitæ and repentance.

Why has monasticism become so dominant? Because, since the time of Constantine, the government has been absurd and despicable everywhere; because the Roman Empire ended up with more monks than soldiers; because there were a hundred thousand of them in Egypt alone; because they were exempt from labor and taxes; because the leaders of the barbaric nations that destroyed the empire, after converting to Christianity to govern Christians, imposed the most horrible tyranny; because, to escape the wrath of these tyrants, people flocked to monasteries, and in trying to escape one form of servitude, they ended up embracing another; because the popes, by creating so many different orders of holy idlers, ensured they had many subjects across various states; because a peasant would rather be called "reverend father" and give blessings than plow a field; because he doesn’t realize the plow is more honorable than a monk’s robe; because he prefers living off the foolish rather than engaging in hard work; in short, because he doesn’t understand that by becoming a monk, he is setting himself up for unhappy days filled with nothing but a tedium vitæ and regret.

QUESTION.—I am satisfied. Let us have no monks, for the sake of their own happiness, as well as ours. But I am sorry to hear it said by the landlord of our village, who is father to four boys and three girls, that he does not know how to dispose of his daughters, unless he makes nuns of them.

QUESTION.—I’m okay with this. Let’s avoid monks, for both their happiness and ours. However, I’m disappointed to hear our village landlord, a father to four boys and three girls, say that he doesn't know what to do with his daughters unless he makes them nuns.

ANSWER.—This too often repeated plea is at once inhuman, detrimental to the country, and destructive to society. Every time that it can be said of any condition of life whatever, that if all the world were to embrace it mankind would perish, it is proved that that condition is a worthless one, and that whoever embraces it does all the mischief to mankind that in him lies.

Please provide the text you would like me to modernize..—This frequently repeated plea is both inhumane and harmful to the country, and it wrecks society. Whenever it's said that any way of life, if adopted by everyone, would lead to the destruction of humanity, it shows that that way of life is worthless. Anyone who embraces it contributes to all the harm they can to humanity.

Now, it being a clear consequence that if all the youth of both sexes were to shut themselves up in cloisters the world would perish, monkery is, if it were but in that light alone, the enemy to human nature, independently of the horrid evils it has formerly caused.

Now, it’s clear that if all the young people, both male and female, were to lock themselves away in monasteries, the world would come to an end. Monastic life, even just from that perspective, is a threat to human nature, aside from the terrible evils it has caused in the past.

QUESTION.—Might not as much be said of soldiers?

QUESTION.—Could the same be said about soldiers?

Entering the convent. Entering the convent.—"There is a need for places of refuge for the elderly, the sick, and those with disabilities. However, in the worst possible misuse of these institutions, they are only for those who are physically well. If a hunchbacked woman tries to join a convent, she will be turned away with scorn, unless she offers a large dowry to the community."

ANSWER. Certainly not; for if every subject carried arms in his turn, as formerly was the practice in all republics, and especially in that of Rome, the soldier is but the better farmer for it. The soldier, as a good subject ought to do, marries, and fights for his wife and children. Would it were the will of heaven that every laborer was a soldier and a married man! They would make excellent subjects. But a monk, merely in his quality of a monk, is good for nothing but to devour the substance of his countryman. There is no truth more generally acknowledged.

Got it! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.. Definitely not; because if every citizen took turns bearing arms, like they used to in all republics, especially in Rome, the soldier would just be a better farmer for it. The soldier, as a good citizen should, gets married and fights for his wife and kids. If only it were meant to be that every laborer was a soldier and a married man! They’d be great citizens. But a monk, just by being a monk, contributes nothing but to consume what his fellow countrymen produce. This is a widely accepted truth.

QUESTION.—But, sir, the daughters of poor gentlemen, who cannot portion them off in marriage, what are they to do?

QUESTION.—But, sir, what should the daughters of poor gentlemen do when they can’t afford to provide a dowry for their marriages?

ANSWER.—-Do! They should do, as has a thousand times been said, like the daughters in England, in Scotland, Ireland, Switzerland, Holland, half Germany, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Tartary, Turkey, Africa, and in almost all the rest of the globe. They will prove much better wives, much better mothers, when it shall have been the custom, as in Germany, to marry women without fortune. A woman, industrious and a good economist, will do more good in a house, than a daughter of a farmer of the revenue, who spends more in superfluities than she will have brought of income to her husband.

ANSWER.—-Yes! They should do, as has been said a thousand times, like the daughters in England, Scotland, Ireland, Switzerland, Holland, half of Germany, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Tartary, Turkey, Africa, and almost everywhere else in the world. They will make much better wives and better mothers when it becomes the norm, like in Germany, to marry women without fortune. An industrious woman who manages her resources well will contribute more to a household than a daughter of a wealthy farmer who spends more on unnecessary luxuries than she will bring in to support her husband.

There is a necessity for houses of retreat for old age, for infirmity, for deformity. But by the most detestable of all abuses, these foundations are for well-made persons. Let a hump-backed old woman present herself to enter into a cloister, and she will be rejected with contempt, unless she will give an immense portion to the house. But what do I say? Every nun must bring her dower with her; she is else the refuse of the convent. Never was there a more intolerable abuse.

There is a need for places of refuge for the elderly, for the sick, for those with disabilities. Yet, in the most despicable way, these institutions are only for those who fit the conventional mold. If a hunchbacked old woman tries to enter a convent, she will be turned away with scorn, unless she is willing to donate a large sum to the institution. But why do I say this? Every nun must come with her dowry; otherwise, she is seen as worthless to the convent. There has never been a more outrageous injustice.

QUESTION.—Thank you, sir. I swear to you that no daughter of mine shall be a nun. They shall learn to spin, to sew, to make lace, to embroider, to render themselves useful. I look on the vows of convents to be crimes against one's country and one's self. Now, sir, I beg you will explain to me, how comes it that a certain writer, in contradiction to human kind, pretends that monks are useful to the population of a state, because their buildings are kept in better repair than those of the nobility, and their lands better cultivated?

QUESTION.—Thank you, sir. I promise you that none of my daughters will become nuns. They will learn to spin, sew, make lace, and embroider, so they can be useful. I believe the vows taken in convents are crimes against one’s country and oneself. Now, sir, please explain to me how a certain writer, going against common sense, claims that monks are beneficial to a state’s population just because their buildings are better maintained than those of the nobility and their lands are better farmed?

ANSWER.—-He has a mind to divert himself; he knows but too well, that ten families who have each five thousand livres a year in land, are a hundred, nay, a thousand times more useful than a convent that enjoys fifty thousand livres a year, and which has always a secret hoard. He cries up the fine houses built by the monks, and it is precisely those fine houses that provoke the rest of the subjects; it is the very cause of complaint to all Europe. The vow of poverty condemns those palaces, as the vow of humility protests against pride, and as the vow of extinguishing one's race is in opposition to nature.

Sure! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize..—-He wants to entertain himself; he knows very well that ten families each with five thousand livres a year in land are a hundred, even a thousand times more beneficial than a convent with fifty thousand livres a year that always has a secret stash. He praises the nice buildings constructed by the monks, and it’s exactly those fancy buildings that anger the rest of the people; they are the very source of complaints across Europe. The vow of poverty criticizes those palaces, just as the vow of humility stands against pride, and the vow of eliminating one's lineage contradicts nature.

QUESTION.—Bless me! Who can this be that advances so strange a proposition?

QUESTION.—Wow! Who is this that's making such an unusual proposal?

ANSWER. It is the friend of mankind, [Monsieur le M. de Mirabeau, in his book entitled L'Ami des Hommes. It is against this marquis that the jest on the only tax is leveled; a tax proposed by him], or rather the friend of the monks.

Modernize it into contemporary English.. It is the friend of humanity, [Monsieur le M. de Mirabeau, in his book titled L'Ami des Hommes. The joke about the only tax targets him; a tax he suggested], or more accurately, the friend of the monks.

QUESTION.—I begin to think it advisable to be very distrustful of books.

QUESTION.—I'm starting to think it's wise to be quite skeptical of books.

ANSWER.—The best way is to make use, with regard to them, of the same caution, as with men. Choose the most reasonable, examine them, and never yield unless to evidence.

ANSWER.—The best approach is to exercise the same caution with them as you would with people. Choose the most sensible ones, evaluate them, and never give in unless there's proof.


VII.

ON TAXES PAID TO A FOREIGN POWER.

About a month ago, the Man of Forty Crowns came to me, holding both his sides, which seemed ready to burst with laughing. In short, he laughed so heartily that I could not help laughing also, without knowing at what. So true it is, that man is born an imitative animal, that instinct rules us, and that the great emotions of the soul are catching. Ut ridentibus arrident, ita flentibus adflent, Humani vultus.

About a month ago, the Man of Forty Crowns came to me, holding his sides, which looked like they were about to burst from laughter. In short, he laughed so hard that I couldn’t help but laugh along, even though I had no idea why. It’s so true that we humans are naturally imitative, ruled by instinct, and that strong emotions are contagious. Ut ridentibus arrident, ita flentibus adflent, Humani vultus.

When he had had his laugh out, he told me that he had just come from meeting with a man who called himself the prothonotary of the Holy See, and that this personage was sending away a great sum of money to an Italian, three hundred leagues off, in the name and behalf of a Frenchman, on whom the king had bestowed a small fief or fee; because the said Frenchman could never enjoy this benefit of the king's conferring, if he did not give to this Italian the first year's income.

When he finished laughing, he told me that he had just met a guy who called himself the prothonotary of the Holy See, and this guy was sending a large sum of money to an Italian, three hundred leagues away, on behalf of a Frenchman who had been granted a small fief or fee by the king. The Frenchman couldn’t enjoy this royal favor unless he paid the Italian the first year’s income.

"The thing," said I, "is very true; but it is not quite such a laughing matter either. It costs France about four hundred thousand livres a year, in petty duties of this kind; and in the course of two centuries and a half, that this custom has lasted, we have already sent to Italy fourscore millions."

"The thing," I said, "is very true; but it’s not entirely a laughing matter either. It costs France about four hundred thousand livres a year in these small duties; and over the last two and a half centuries that this custom has been in place, we have already sent eighty million to Italy."

"Heavenly Father!" he exclaimed, "how many forty crowns would that make? Some Italian, then, subdued us, I suppose, two centuries and a half ago, and laid that tribute upon us!"

"Heavenly Father!" he exclaimed, "how many would that be in forty crowns? Some Italian conquered us, I guess, two and a half centuries ago, and imposed that tribute on us!"

"In good faith," answered I, "he used to impose on us in former times, in a much more burthensome way. That is but a trifle in comparison to what, for a long time, he levied on our poor nations of Europe."

"In good faith," I replied, "he used to take advantage of us back then in a much more burdensome way. That's just a small issue compared to what he has taken from our poor nations of Europe for a long time."

Then I related to him how those holy usurpations had taken place, and came to be established. He knows a little of history, and does not want for sense. He easily conceived that we had been slaves, and that we were still dragging a little bit of our chain that we could not get rid of. He spoke much and with energy, against this abuse; but with what respect for religion in general. With what reverence did he express himself for the bishops! How heartily did he wish them many forty crowns a year, that they might spend them in their dioceses in good works.

Then I told him how those sacred takeovers happened and became established. He knows a bit about history and is quite sensible. He quickly understood that we had been slaves and that we were still carrying a bit of our chains that we couldn't shake off. He spoke passionately and energetically against this abuse, but he showed great respect for religion in general. He spoke reverently about the bishops! He sincerely wished them many forty-crown incomes each year so they could use that money for good works in their dioceses.

He also wished that all the country vicars might have a number of forty crowns, that they might live with decency.

He also wished that all the rural priests could have a decent sum of forty crowns so they could live comfortably.

"It is a sad thing," said he, "that a vicar should be obliged to dispute with his flock for two or three sheaves of corn, and that he should not be amply paid by the country. These eternal contests for imaginary rights, for the tithes, destroy the respect that is owing to them. The unhappy cultivator who shall have already paid to the collectors his tenth penny, and the twopence a livre, and the tax, and the capitation, and the purchase of his exemption from lodging soldiers,—after he shall have lodged soldiers,—for this unfortunate man, I say, to see the vicar take away in addition the tithe of his produce, he can no longer look on him as his pastor, but as one that flays him alive,—that tears from him the little skin that is left him. He feels but too sensible, that while they are, jure divino, robbing him of his tenth sheaf, they have the diabolical cruelty not to give him credit for all that it will have cost him to make that sheaf grow. What then remains to him for himself and family? Tears, want, discouragement, despair, and thus he dies of fatigue and misery. If the vicar were paid by the country, he would be a comfort to his parishioners, instead of being looked on by them as their enemy."

"It’s a sad situation," he said, "that a vicar has to argue with his community over two or three sheaves of corn, and that he isn’t fairly compensated by the country. These never-ending disputes over made-up rights, like the tithes, ruin the respect that should be given to them. The poor farmer who has already paid the collectors his tenth penny, plus the two pence per livre, taxes, and the head tax, and even bought his exemption from housing soldiers—after having housed soldiers anyway—this unfortunate man, I say, sees the vicar take away the tithe of his harvest on top of everything else. He can no longer see him as his spiritual leader, but as someone who is skinning him alive—taking away the little bit of skin he has left. He is all too aware that while they are, jure divino, stealing his tenth sheaf, they have the cruel audacity not to consider all that it has cost him to produce that sheaf. So what is left for him and his family? Tears, need, discouragement, despair, and he ends up dying from exhaustion and misery. If the vicar were paid by the country, he would be a source of comfort for his parishioners instead of being seen as their enemy."

The worthy man melted as he uttered these words; he loved his country, and the public good was his idol. He would sometimes emphatically say, "What a nation would the French be if it pleased!" We went to see his son, whom the mother, a very neat and clean woman, was nursing. "Alas!" said the father, "here thou art, poor child, and hast nothing to pretend to but twenty-three years of life, and forty crowns a year."

The honorable man softened as he spoke these words; he loved his country, and the common good was his guiding principle. He would sometimes passionately declare, "What an amazing nation the French could be if they wanted to!" We went to see his son, whom the mother, a very tidy and organized woman, was caring for. "Oh dear!" said the father, "here you are, poor child, and you have nothing to show for but twenty-three years of life and forty crowns a year."


VIII.

ON PROPORTIONS.

The produce of the extremes is equal to the produce of the means: but two sacks of corn stolen, are not, to those who stole them, as the loss of their lives is to the interest of the person from whom they were stolen.

The outcome of the extremes is the same as the outcome of the means: however, two bags of stolen corn are not, for those who took them, equivalent to the loss of their lives in relation to the interests of the person they were taken from.

The prior of ——, from whom two of his domestic servants in the country had stolen two measures of corn, has just had the two delinquents hanged. This execution has cost him more than all his harvest has been worth to him; and since that time he has not been able to get a servant.

The prior of ——, whose two domestic servants in the countryside stole two measures of corn, has just had the two offenders hanged. This execution has cost him more than all his harvest was worth, and since then he hasn’t been able to find a servant.

If the laws had ordained that such as stole their master's corn should work in his grounds, during their lives in fetters, and with a bell at their neck fixed to a collar, the prior would have been a considerable gainer by it.

If the laws had required that anyone who stole their master's corn had to work on his land for life while being chained up and wearing a bell attached to a collar, the prior would have benefited significantly from it.

"Terror should be preventively employed against crimes;" very true: but work, on compulsion, and lasting shame, strike more terror than the gallows.

"Terror should be used preventively against crimes;" very true: but forced labor and lasting shame create more fear than the gallows.

The rack. The rack.—"I was called to testify against a miller who was tortured, both normally and unusually, and who turned out to be innocent. I watched him faint from the intense torture. I heard his bones breaking. His cries and screams of pain are still echoing in my ears; they never leave me. I cried out of sympathy and trembled in fear."

There was, some months ago at London, a malefactor who had been condemned to be transported to America to work there at the sugar works with the negroes. In England, any criminal, as in many other countries, may get a petition presented to the king, either to obtain a free pardon, or a mitigation of the sentence. This one presented a petition to be hanged, alleging that he mortally hated work, and that he had rather suffer strangling for a minute, than to make sugar all his lifetime.

There was, a few months ago in London, a criminal who had been sentenced to be sent to America to work at the sugar plantations with the Black workers. In England, like in many other countries, any convicted person can submit a petition to the king, either to receive a full pardon or have their sentence reduced. This man submitted a petition to be hanged, arguing that he absolutely hated working and would prefer to be strangled for a minute rather than spend his entire life making sugar.

Others may think otherwise, every one to his taste. But it has been already said, and cannot be too often repeated, that a man hanged is good for nothing, and that punishments ought to be useful.

Others might think differently, but everyone has their own preferences. However, it has already been stated, and it can't be said too often, that a man who is hanged is of no use, and that punishments should serve a purpose.

Some years ago, in Turkey, two young men were condemned to be impaled, for having, (without taking off their caps,) stood to see the procession of the Lama pass by. The Emperor of China, who is a man of very good sense, said, that for his part, he should have condemned them to walk bareheaded, in every public procession, for three months afterwards.

Some years ago, in Turkey, two young men were sentenced to be impaled for standing to watch the Lama's procession without removing their caps. The Emperor of China, a very sensible man, said that he would have sentenced them to walk bareheaded in every public procession for the next three months.

"Proportion punishments to crimes," says the Marquis Beccaria; but those who made the laws were not geometricians.

"Make punishments fit the crimes," says the Marquis Beccaria; but those who created the laws weren't mathematicians.


I hate the laws of Draco, which punish equally crimes and faults, wickedness and folly. Let us,—especially in all litigations,—in all dissensions, in all quarrels,—distinguish the aggressor from the party offended, the oppressor from the oppressed. An offensive war is the procedure of a tyrant; he who defends himself is in the character of a just man.

I dislike Draco's laws, which punish crimes and mistakes the same way, mixing evil with foolishness. Let's—especially in all legal disputes—differentiate between the aggressor and the victim, the oppressor and the oppressed. An offensive war is the act of a tyrant; someone who defends themselves is acting justly.

As I was absorbed in these reflections, the Man of Forty Crowns came to me all in tears. I asked, with emotion, if his son, who was by right to live twenty-three years, was dead?

As I was deep in thought, the Man of Forty Crowns approached me in tears. I asked, feeling emotional, if his son, who was supposed to live for twenty-three years, had died?

"No," said he, "the little one is very well, and so is my wife; but I was summoned to give evidence against a miller, who has been put to the torture, ordinary and extraordinary, and who has been found innocent. I saw him faint away under redoubled tortures. I heard the crash of his bones. His outcries and screams of agony are not yet out of my ears; they haunt me. I shed tears for pity, and shudder with horror."

"No," he said, "the little one is doing just fine, and so is my wife; but I was called to testify against a miller who has been tortured, both normally and extraordinarily, and who has been found innocent. I watched him faint from the relentless torture. I heard his bones crack. His cries and screams of pain are still ringing in my ears; they haunt me. I cried out of pity and shudder in horror."

His tears drew mine. I trembled, too, like him; for I have naturally an extreme sensibility.

His tears made me cry too. I trembled, just like him; I have a naturally high sensitivity.

My memory then represented to me the dreadful fate of the Calas family! A virtuous mother in irons,—her children in tears, and forced to fly, her house given up to pillage,—a respectable father of a family broken with torture, agonizing on a wheel, and expiring in the flames; a son loaded with chains, and dragged before the judges, one of whom said to him:

My memory then brought to mind the terrible fate of the Calas family! A virtuous mother in chains, her children in tears and forced to flee, their home ransacked; a respectable father tortured, in agony on a wheel, dying in the flames; a son weighed down with chains, being dragged before the judges, one of whom said to him:

"We have just now broken your father on the wheel; we will break you alive too."

"We just tortured your father to death; we'll do the same to you."

I remembered the family of Sirven, who one of my friends met with among the mountains covered with ice, as they were flying from the persecution of a judge as ignorant as he was unjust. This judge (he told me) had condemned an innocent family to death on a supposition, without the least shadow of proof, that the father and mother, assisted by two of their daughters, had cut the throat of the third, and drowned her besides, for going to mass. I saw in judgments of this kind, at once an excess of stupidity, of injustice, and of barbarity.

I remembered the Sirven family, whom one of my friends encountered in the ice-covered mountains while they were fleeing from a judge who was as ignorant as he was unjust. This judge (he told me) had sentenced an innocent family to death based on a mere assumption, without any evidence, that the father and mother, along with two of their daughters, had killed the third and drowned her for going to mass. In judgments like this, I saw a mix of extreme stupidity, injustice, and cruelty.

The Man of Forty Crowns joined with me in pitying human nature. I had in my pocket the discourse of an attorney-general of Dauphiny, which turned upon very important matters. I read to him the following passages:

The Man of Forty Crowns agreed with me in feeling sorry for human nature. I had in my pocket the speech of an attorney-general of Dauphiny, which focused on very important issues. I read the following sections to him:

"Certainly those must have been truly great men, who, at first, dared to take upon themselves the office of governing their fellow creatures, and to set their shoulders to the burthen of the public welfare; who, for the sake of the good they meant to do to men, exposed themselves to their ingratitude, and for the public repose renounced their own; who made themselves, as one may say, middle-men between their fellow-creatures and Providence, to compose for them, by artifice, a happiness which Providence seems otherwise to have refused to them by any other means.

"Surely those must have been truly great individuals who, at first, dared to take on the responsibility of governing their fellow humans and to shoulder the burden of public welfare; who, for the sake of the good they intended to do for others, exposed themselves to ingratitude, and for the peace of the public gave up their own; who made themselves, so to speak, intermediaries between their fellow humans and a higher power, to create for them, through clever means, a happiness that it seems the higher power had otherwise denied to them by any other way."

"What magistrate, was ever so careless of his responsibilities and duties to humanity as to entertain such ideas? Could he, in the solitude of his closet, without shuddering with horror and pity, cast his eyes on those papers, the unfortunate monuments of gilt or of innocence? Should he not think he hears a plaintive voice and groans issue from those fatal writings, and press him to decide the destiny of a subject, of a husband, of a father, or of a whole family? What judge can be so unmerciful (if he is charged with but one single process) as to pass in cold blood before the door of a prison? Is it I (must he say to himself) who detain in that execrable place my fellow-creature, perhaps my countryman, one of humankind, in short? Is it I that confine him every day,—that shut those execrable doors upon him? Perhaps despair will have seized him. He sends up to heaven my name loaded with his curses; and doubtless calls to witness against me that great Judge of the world, who observes us, and will judge us both."

"What judge could be so careless about his responsibilities to humanity as to entertain such thoughts? Could he sit alone in his office, without feeling horror and pity, and look at those papers, the unfortunate signs of guilt or innocence? Shouldn’t he think he hears a sad voice and moans coming from those tragic documents, urging him to decide the fate of a subject, a husband, a father, or an entire family? What judge can be so heartless (even if he’s handling just one case) as to walk past a prison without feeling anything? Does he not ask himself, 'Am I the one who keeps my fellow human being, maybe my countryman, trapped in that dreadful place? Am I the one who shuts those horrible doors on him every day?' Perhaps despair has taken hold of him. He might be sending my name up to heaven filled with curses, and surely calling upon that great Judge of the world, who watches us and will judge us both."

"Here a dreadful sight presents itself on a sudden to my eyes: The judge, tired with interrogating bywords, has recourse to interrogation by tortures. Impatient in his inquiries and researches, and perhaps irritated at their inutility, he has brought to him torches, chains, levers, and all those instruments invented for producing pain. An executioner comes to interpose in the functions of the magistracy, and terminates by violence a judicial interrogation.

"Suddenly, a horrifying scene unfolds before me: The judge, exhausted from questioning with vague words, resorts to torture. Frustrated with his inquiries and possibly annoyed by their lack of results, he has summoned torches, chains, levers, and all those tools designed to inflict pain. An executioner steps in to take over the judge's role and brutally ends a legal interrogation."

"Gentle philosophy! Thou who never seekest truth but with attention and patience, couldst thou expect, in an age that takes thy name, that such instruments would be employed to discover that truth?

"Gentle philosophy! You who never seek truth without attention and patience, could you expect, in an age that bears your name, that such tools would be used to uncover that truth?"

"Can it be really true, that our laws approve this inconceivable method, and that custom consecrates it?

"Can it really be true that our laws accept this unbelievable method and that tradition supports it?"

"Their laws imitate their prejudices; their public punishments are as cruel as their private vengeance; and the acts of their reason are scarce less unmerciful than those of their passions. What can be the cause of this strange contrariety? It is because our prejudices are ancient, and our morality new; it is because we are as penetrated with our opinions as we are inattentive to our ideas; it is because our passion for pleasures hinders us from reflecting on our wants, and that we are more eager to live than to direct ourselves right; it is, in a word, because our morals are gentle without being good; it is because we are polite, and are not so much as humane."

"Their laws reflect their biases; their public punishments are just as harsh as their private revenge; and the actions driven by their reason are hardly any less ruthless than those driven by their emotions. What could explain this strange contradiction? It's because our biases are old, while our morality is new; it's because we hold on tightly to our opinions but pay little attention to our thoughts; it's because our desire for pleasure prevents us from considering our needs, and we are more focused on living than on living rightly; in short, it's because our morals are gentle but not truly good; it's because we are polite, yet hardly humane."

These fragments, which eloquence had dictated to humanity, filled the heart of my friend with a sweet consolation. He admired with tenderness.

These fragments, which eloquence had inspired in humanity, filled my friend's heart with a soothing comfort. He looked on with affection.

"What!" said he, "are such masterpieces as these produced in a province? I had been told that Paris was all the world, or the only place in it."

"What!" he exclaimed, "are masterpieces like these made in a province? I was told that Paris was everything, or the only place that matters."

"It is," said I, "the only place for producing comic operas; but there are at this time, in the provinces, magistrates who think, with the same virtue and express themselves with the same force. Formerly, the oracles of justice, like those of morality, were nothing but matter of mere ridicule. Dr. Balordo declaimed at the bar, and Harlequin in the pulpit. Philosophy has at length come, and has said, 'Do not speak in public, unless to set forth new and useful truths, with the eloquence of sentiment and of reason.'"

"It is," I said, "the only place for making comic operas; but right now, in the provinces, there are magistrates who think with the same integrity and express themselves with the same passion. In the past, the voices of justice, like those of morality, were just subjects of ridicule. Dr. Balordo spoke passionately at the bar, and Harlequin did the same in the pulpit. Finally, philosophy has arrived and has said, 'Don’t speak in public unless you’re sharing new and useful truths, with the eloquence of feeling and reason.'"

But, say the praters, if we have nothing new to say, what then? Why, hold your tongues, replies philosophy. All those vain discourses for parade, that contain nothing but phrases, are like the fire on the eve of St. John's, kindled on that day of the year in which there is the least want of it to heat one's self—it causes no pleasure, and not so much as the ashes of it remain.

But, say the talkers, if we have nothing new to say, what then? Well, be quiet, replies philosophy. All those empty discussions just for show, which amount to nothing but words, are like the fire on the eve of St. John's, lit on a day of the year when there’s the least need for warmth—it brings no enjoyment, and there isn’t even any ash left behind.

Let all France read good books. But notwithstanding all the progress of the human understanding, there are few that read; and among those who sometimes seek instruction, the reading for the most part is very ill chosen. My neighbors, men and women, pass their time, after dinner, at playing an English game, which I have much difficulty to pronounce, since they call it whist. Many good citizens, many thick heads, who take themselves for good heads, tell you, with an air of importance, that books are good for nothing. But, Messieurs, the critics, do not you know that you are governed only by books? Do not you know that the statutes, the military code, and the gospel, are books on which you continually depend? Read; improve yourselves. It is reading alone that invigorates the understanding; conversation dissipates it; play contracts it.

Let everyone in France read good books. But despite all the progress in human understanding, very few people actually read; and among those who sometimes seek knowledge, their choices are mostly poor. My neighbors, both men and women, spend their time after dinner playing an English game that I struggle to pronounce, called whist. Many decent folks, many thick-headed individuals who think highly of themselves, tell you, with a sense of importance, that books are useless. But, gentlemen critics, don’t you realize that you are only governed by books? Don’t you know that the laws, the military code, and the gospel are books on which you constantly rely? Read; better yourselves. It’s reading alone that strengthens the mind; conversation distracts it; games stifle it.

Thus it was that the Man of Forty Crowns proceeded to form, as one may say, his head and his heart. He not only succeeded to the inheritance of his two fair cousins, but he came also to a fortune left by a very distant relation, who had been a sub-farmer of the military hospitals, where he had fattened himself on the strict abstinence to which he had put the wounded soldiers. This man never would marry, he never would own any of his relations. He lived in the height of debauchery, and died at Paris of a surfeit. He was, as any one may see, a very useful member of the state.

So, the Man of Forty Crowns set out to shape, so to speak, his mind and his emotions. He not only inherited the wealth of his two beautiful cousins, but he also came into a fortune left by a very distant relative, who had been a sub-farmer for the military hospitals, where he thrived on the strict diets he imposed on the wounded soldiers. This man never married, and he never acknowledged any of his family. He lived in the height of indulgence and died in Paris from overeating. Clearly, he was a very valuable member of society.

Our new philosopher was obliged to go to Paris to get possession of the inheritance of this relative. At first, the farmers of the domain disputed it with him. He had the good luck, however, to gain his cause, and the generosity to give to the poor of his neighborhood, who had not their contingent of forty crowns a year, a part of the spoils of the deceased son of fortune. After which he set himself about satisfying his passion for having a library.

Our new philosopher had to go to Paris to claim the inheritance from this relative. Initially, the local farmers contested his claim. However, he was fortunate enough to win his case, and out of generosity, he shared a portion of the deceased wealthy man's fortune with the poor in his area who didn't receive their share of forty crowns a year. After that, he focused on fulfilling his dream of building a library.

He read every morning and made extracts. In the evening, he consulted the learned to know in what language the serpent had talked to our good mother; whether the soul is in the callous body, or in the pineal gland; whether St. Peter lived five and twenty years at Rome; what specific difference there is between a throne and a dominion; and why the negroes have a flat nose. He proposed to himself, besides, never to govern the state, nor to write any pamphlets against new dramatic pieces. He was called Mr. Andrew, which was his Christian name. Those who have known him, do justice to his modesty and to his qualities, both natural and acquired.

He read every morning and took notes. In the evening, he consulted scholars to find out what language the serpent spoke to our good mother in; whether the soul is in the insensitive body or the pineal gland; whether St. Peter spent twenty-five years in Rome; what the exact difference is between a throne and a dominion; and why Black people have flat noses. He also decided never to govern the state or write any pamphlets against new plays. He was called Mr. Andrew, which was his first name. Those who knew him appreciated his modesty and his qualities, both natural and learned.


IX.

A big argument.

During the stay of Mr. Andrew at Paris, there happened a very important quarrel. The point was, to decide whether Marcus Antoninus was an honest man, and whether he was in hell, or in purgatory, or in limbo, waiting till the day of resurrection. All the men of sense took the part of Marcus Antoninus. They said: Antoninus has been always just, temperate, chaste, and beneficent. It is true, he has not so good a place in paradise as St. Anthony; for proportions ought to be observed, as has been before recommended. But certainly the soul of Antoninus is not roasting on a spit in hell. If he is in purgatory, he ought to be delivered out of it; there need only be masses said for him. Let the Jesuits, who have no longer anything to do, say three thousand masses for the repose of the soul of Marcus Antoninus. Putting each mass at fifteen pence, they will get two thousand two hundred and fifty livres by it. Besides, some respect is owing to a crowned head. He should not be lightly damned.

While Mr. Andrew was in Paris, a very important argument broke out. The issue at hand was to determine whether Marcus Antoninus was an honest man and whether he was in hell, purgatory, or limbo, waiting for the day of resurrection. All the sensible people supported Marcus Antoninus. They said, "Antoninus has always been just, moderate, chaste, and generous. It’s true he doesn’t have as good a spot in paradise as St. Anthony; after all, proportionality must be maintained, as has been previously suggested. But surely Antoninus's soul isn’t being tormented in hell. If he’s in purgatory, he should be freed from it; they just need to hold some masses for him. Let the Jesuits, who have nothing else to do, say three thousand masses for the soul of Marcus Antoninus. At fifteen pence per mass, they’ll make two thousand two hundred and fifty livres from it. Besides, there’s a certain respect owed to a crowned head. He shouldn't be damned lightly."

The party opposed to these good people pretended, on the contrary, that no compounding for salvation ought to be allowed to Marcus Antoninus; that he was a heretic; that the Carpocratians and the Alcgi were not so bad as he; that he had died without confession; that it was necessary to make an example; that it was right to damn him, if but to teach better manners to the emperors of China and Japan,—to those of Persia, Turkey, and Morocco,—to the kings of England, Sweden, Denmark, and Prussia, to the stadtholder of Holland,—to the avoyers of the Canton of Berne, who no more go to confession than did the Emperor Marcus Antoninus; that, in short, there is an unspeakable pleasure in passing sentence against a dead sovereign, which one could not fulminate against him in his lifetime, for fear of losing one's ears.

The group against these good people claimed, on the other hand, that no forgiveness for salvation should be granted to Marcus Antoninus; that he was a heretic; that the Carpocratians and the Alcgi were not as bad as he was; that he died without a confession; that it was necessary to set an example; that it was justified to condemn him, if only to teach better behavior to the emperors of China and Japan, to those of Persia, Turkey, and Morocco, to the kings of England, Sweden, Denmark, and Prussia, to the stadtholder of Holland, to the avoyers of the Canton of Berne, who didn’t go to confession any more than Emperor Marcus Antoninus did; that, in short, there is a strange pleasure in passing judgment against a dead ruler, which one couldn’t have done while he was alive, for fear of losing one’s head.

This quarrel became as furious as was formerly that of the Ursulines and the Annonciades. In short, it was feared that it would come to a schism, as in the time of the hundred and one Mother Goose's tales, and of certain bills payable to the bearer in the other world. To be sure, a schism is something very terrible. The meaning of the word is a division in opinion, and till this fatal moment all men had been agreed to think the same thing.

This argument became as intense as the one between the Ursulines and the Annonciades in the past. In short, there were concerns that it might lead to a split, like what happened during the time of the hundred and one Mother Goose stories and some promissory notes that were supposed to be redeemable in the afterlife. A split is definitely something quite serious. The word means a division in opinion, and until this critical moment, everyone had been on the same page.

Mr. Andrew, who was an excellent member of society, invited the chiefs of the two parties to sup with him. He is one of the best companions that we have. His humor is gentle and lively; his gaiety is not noisy; he is open, frank, and easy. He has not that sort of wit which seems to aim at stifling that of others. The authority which he conciliates to himself is due to nothing but his graceful manner, to his moderation, and to a round good-natured face, which is quite persuasive. He could have brought to sup cheerfully together a Corsican and a Genoese,—a representative of Geneva and a negative man, the mufti and an archbishop. He managed so dextrously, as to make the first stroke that the disputants of both parties aimed at each other fall to the ground, by turning off the discourse, and by telling a very diverting tale, which pleased equally the damning and the damned. In short, when they had got a little good-humored and elevated with wine, he made them sign an agreement, that the soul of Marcus Antoninus should remain in status quo—that is to say, nobody knows where,—till the day of final judgment.

Mr. Andrew, who was a great member of society, invited the leaders of both parties to dinner at his place. He’s one of the best friends we have. His humor is light and lively; his cheerfulness isn’t loud; he’s open, genuine, and easy to talk to. He doesn’t have that kind of wit that tries to overshadow others. The respect he earns comes solely from his charming demeanor, his moderation, and his friendly, persuasive face. He could easily bring together a Corsican and a Genoese, a representative from Geneva and a neutral person, the mufti and an archbishop for a meal. He skillfully deflected the initial tension between the disputing parties by changing the subject and telling a very entertaining story that amused both the accusers and the accused. In short, once they were a bit more relaxed and tipsy from the wine, he got them to agree that the soul of Marcus Antoninus should stay in status quo—that is to say, nobody knows where—until the day of final judgment.

The souls of the doctors of divinity returned quietly to their limbos after supper, and all was calm. This adjustment of the quarrel did great honor to the Man of Forty Crowns; and, since then, whenever any very peevish virulent dispute arose among men of letters, or among men not of letters, the advice given was, "Gentlemen, go and sup at Master Andrew's!"

The souls of the theology professors drifted back to their limbos after dinner, and everything was peaceful. This resolution of the conflict greatly honored the Man of Forty Crowns; and from that time on, whenever there was a particularly nasty argument among writers or non-writers, the advice given was, "Gentlemen, go and have dinner at Master Andrew's!"


X.

A DISRUPTOR EXILED.

The reputation which Mr. Andrew had acquired for pacifying quarrels,—by giving good suppers,—drew upon him last week a singular visit. A dark complexioned man, shabbily enough dressed, rather crook-backed, with his head leaning toward one shoulder, a haggard eye, and dirty hands, asked to be invited to a supper with his enemies.

The reputation Mr. Andrew had built for settling arguments—by hosting nice dinners—brought him an unusual visitor last week. A dark-skinned man, dressed quite poorly, somewhat hunched over, with his head tilted to one side, tired-looking eyes, and dirty hands, requested to join a dinner with his foes.

"Who are your enemies?" said Mr. Andrew, "and who are you?"

"Who are your enemies?" Mr. Andrew asked. "And who are you?"

"Alas, sir," said he, "I am forced to confess that I am taken for one of those wretches that compose libels to get bread, and who are forever crying out,—'Religion,—Religion,—Religion,' in order to come at some little benefice. I am accused of having caluminated some of the most truly religious subjects, the most sincere adorers of divinity, and the most honest men of the kingdom. It is true, sir, that in the heat of composition, there often fall from the pen of those of my trade, certain little inadvertencies or slips, which are taken for gross errors; and some liberties taken with the truth, which are termed impudent lies. Our zeal is looked upon in the light of a horrid mixture of villainy and fanaticism. It has been alleged, that while we are insnaring the easy faith of some silly old women, we are the scorn and execration of all the men of worth who can read.

"Unfortunately, sir," he said, "I have to admit that I'm mistaken for one of those unfortunate souls who write gossip to make a living, and who are always shouting—'Religion,—Religion,—Religion,' to grab onto some small church position. I'm accused of slandering some of the most genuinely religious people, the sincerest worshippers of the divine, and the most decent individuals in the country. It's true, sir, that in the heat of writing, there are often little oversights or mistakes that come from the pens of people in my line of work, which are seen as serious errors; and some liberties taken with the truth, which are called outrageous lies. Our enthusiasm is viewed as a terrible mix of wickedness and fanaticism. It's been claimed that while we're trapping the gullible beliefs of some naive old women, we are the mockery and disdain of all the respectable men who can read."

"My enemies are the principal members of the most illustrious academies of Europe, writers much esteemed, and beneficent members of society. I have but just published a book under the title of Anti-philosophical. I had nothing but the best intentions, and yet no one would buy my book. Those to whom I made presents of it, threw it into the fire, telling me it was not only anti-reasonable, but anti-christian, and extremely anti-decent."

"My enemies are the key figures of the most prestigious academies in Europe, respected writers, and generous members of society. I just published a book called Anti-philosophical. I had nothing but good intentions, yet no one wanted to buy my book. Those I gave it to threw it into the fire, saying it was not only unreasonable but also un-Christian and completely indecent."

"Well, then!" said Mr. Andrew to him, "follow the example of those to whom you presented your libel, throw it into the fire, and let no more be said of it. It is unnecessary to ask you to sup with men of wit, who can never be your enemies, since they will never read you."

"Well, then!" Mr. Andrew said to him. "Follow the example of those you showed your libel to, throw it into the fire, and let’s not talk about it anymore. There's no need to ask you to have dinner with clever people, who can never be your enemies since they won’t ever read you."

"Could not you, sir, at least," said the hypocrite to him, "reconcile me with the relations of the deceased Monsieur de Montesquieu, to whose memory I offered an indignity, that I might give honor and glory to the reverend father Rout."

"Could you, sir, at least," said the hypocrite to him, "reconcile me with the family of the late Monsieur de Montesquieu, to whose memory I disrespected in order to give honor and glory to the reverend Father Rout."

"Zounds!" said Mr. Andrew, "the reverend father Rout has been dead this long time; go and sup with him."

"Wow!" said Mr. Andrew, "Father Rout has been dead for a long time; go and have dinner with him."


XI.

THE COMMON SENSE OF MR. ANDREW.

But how greatly did the sense of Mr. Andrew improve in vigor from the time he procured a library! He lives with books as with men, and is careful in his choice of them. What a pleasure it is to gain instruction, to enlarge one's mind by studying the best works of the greatest authors.

But how much Mr. Andrew’s sense improved in strength once he got a library! He interacts with books just like he does with people, and he’s selective about which ones he picks. It’s such a joy to learn and expand one’s mind by studying the finest works of the greatest authors.

He congratulates himself on being born at a time when human reason is tending toward perfection. "How unhappy should I have been," he used to say, "if the age I live in had been that in which they used to condemn to the galleys those who wrote against the categories of Aristotle."

He takes pride in being born at a time when human reasoning is improving. "How miserable would I have been," he would say, "if I lived in an era when those who wrote against Aristotle's categories were sentenced to the galleys."

Distress had weakened the springs of Mr. Andrew's soul; but good fortune restored their elasticity. There are many Andrews in the world to whom nothing is wanting but a turn of the wheel of fortune to make of them men of true merit. He is now well acquainted with all the affairs of Europe, and especially with the progress of the human understanding.

Distress had worn down the springs of Mr. Andrew's spirit, but good luck brought them back to life. There are plenty of Andrews in the world who just need a change in fortune to become truly great people. He is now well-informed about all the happenings in Europe, especially about advancements in human understanding.

He recently remarked to me, that Reason travels by slow journeys from north to south, in company with her two intimate friends, Experience and Toleration. Agriculture and Commerce attend them. When Reason presented herself in Italy, the congregation of the Index sternly repulsed her. All she could do, was to secretly send some of her agents, who, in spite of her enemies, do some good. Let but some years more pass, and it is to be hoped that the country of the Scipios will no longer be that of harlequins in monks' habits.

He recently told me that Reason makes her way slowly from north to south, accompanied by her close friends, Experience and Toleration. Agriculture and Commerce are with them. When Reason arrived in Italy, the group of the Index firmly rejected her. All she could do was secretly send some of her agents, who, despite her foes, manage to do some good. If a few more years go by, we can hope that the land of the Scipios will no longer be ruled by fools in monk's robes.

She has sometimes met with cruel foes in France; but she has now so many friends in that kingdom, that she stands a good chance of at length becoming first minister there.

She has occasionally encountered harsh enemies in France; but now she has so many friends in that country that she has a solid chance of eventually becoming the prime minister there.

When she presented herself in Bavaria and Austria, she found two or three great wig-blocks that stared at her with stupid and astonished eyes. Their greeting was: "Madam, we never heard of you; we do not know you." Her answer to which was: "Gentlemen, in time you will come to know me, and to love me. I have been well received at Berlin, at Moscow, at Copenhagen, at Stockholm. It is long ago that I have been naturalized by Act of Parliament in England, through the labors of Locke, Gordon, Trenchard, Lord Shaftsbury, and a number of others of the same nation. You will, some day or other, confer on me the like grant. I am the daughter of Time. I expect every thing from my father."

When she showed up in Bavaria and Austria, she encountered a couple of bigwig figures who stared at her with dumbfounded, astonished expressions. Their response was: "Ma'am, we've never heard of you; we don’t know who you are." She replied, "Gentlemen, you will come to know me and love me in time. I've been welcomed in Berlin, Moscow, Copenhagen, and Stockholm. It's been a while since I was naturalized by Act of Parliament in England, thanks to the efforts of Locke, Gordon, Trenchard, Lord Shaftesbury, and several others from that country. One day, you too will grant me the same recognition. I am the daughter of Time. I expect everything from my father."

When she passed over the frontiers of Spain and Portugal, she blessed God on observing that the fires of the Inquisition were less frequently kindled. She rejoiced on seeing the Jesuits expelled; but was afraid that, while the country had been cleared of the foxes, it was still left exposed to the ravages of wolves.

When she crossed the borders of Spain and Portugal, she thanked God for noticing that the fires of the Inquisition were lit less often. She was glad to see the Jesuits gone, but worried that, while the country had gotten rid of the foxes, it was still vulnerable to the attacks of wolves.

If she makes any fresh attempts to gain entrance into Italy it is thought she will begin by establishing herself at Venice; and that she will take up her abode in the kingdom of Naples, in spite of the liquefaction of the saint's blood in that country, which awakens in her mind mournful reflections on human credulity. It is pretended, that she has an infallible secret for untying the strings of a crown, which are entangled, nobody knows how, in those of a mitre.

If she tries to enter Italy again, it’s believed she’ll start by settling in Venice and then move to Naples, even with the liquefaction of the saint's blood in that area, which makes her think sadly about how easily people believe things. It’s claimed that she has a foolproof secret for untangling the strings of a crown, which are somehow mixed up with those of a mitre.


XII.

The Nice Dinner at Mr. Andrew's.

We supped at Mr. Andrew's yesterday, together with a Doctor Sorbonne, with Monsieur Pinto, the celebrated Jew, with the Chaplain of the Protestant chapel of the Dutch Embassador, the secretary of the Prince Galitzin of the Greek church, a Calvinist Swiss Captain, two philosophers, and three Ladies of great wit.

We had dinner at Mr. Andrew's yesterday, along with Dr. Sorbonne, Monsieur Pinto, the famous Jew, the Chaplain of the Protestant chapel of the Dutch Ambassador, the secretary of Prince Galitzin of the Greek church, a Calvinist Swiss Captain, two philosophers, and three very clever ladies.

The supper was a very long one; and yet, so polite it must be owned we are grown—so much is one afraid at supper to give any cause of offence to one's brethren, that there was no more disputing upon religion than as if not one of those at table had ever had any. It is not so with the Regent Coge, and the ex-Jesuit Patouillet, and with all the animals of that kind. Those pitiful creatures will say more stupidly abusive things in one pamphlet of two pages, than the best company in Paris can say agreeable and instructive ones in a supper of four hours. And what is stranger yet, they dare not tell a man to his face, what they have the impudence to print.

The dinner lasted a really long time; and yet, it's true that we've become so polite—everyone's so worried about offending each other at dinner that there was no more discussion about religion than if none of us had ever had any beliefs. It’s not the same with Regent Coge, and ex-Jesuit Patouillet, and all their kind. Those pathetic individuals can say more stupidly offensive things in a two-page pamphlet than the most refined company in Paris could say in a four-hour dinner. What’s even stranger is that they don’t have the guts to say those things to a person's face that they are bold enough to print.

The conversation turned at first on a piece of pleasantry in the Persian Letters, in which it is repeated, after a number of grave personages, that the world is not only growing worse, but that it is becoming depopulated, so that if the proverb should have any truth in it, that "the more fools there are," "the more laughter," laughing is likely to be soon banished from the face of the earth.

The conversation initially focused on a humorous bit from the Persian Letters, which mentions, after several serious figures, that the world is not only getting worse but is also losing its population. So, if the saying holds any truth that "the more fools there are," "the more laughter," it seems like laughter might soon disappear from the earth altogether.

The Doctor of Sorbonne assured us that, in fact, the world was almost reduced to nothing. He quoted the Father Petavius, who demonstrates that in less than three hundred years, the descendants of one of the sons of Noah (I forget whether it was Shem or Japhet), amounted to six hundred and twelve millions three hundred and fifty-eight thousand true believers within two hundred and eighty-five years after the universal deluge.

The Doctor of Sorbonne confirmed that the world was nearly brought to nothing. He referenced Father Petavius, who argues that in less than three hundred years, the descendants of one of Noah’s sons (I can't remember if it was Shem or Japhet) totaled six hundred and twelve million three hundred and fifty-eight thousand genuine believers within two hundred and eighty-five years after the great flood.

Mr. Andrew asked, why in the time of Philip de Bel, that is to say, about three hundred years after Hugh Capet, there were not six hundred and twenty-three thousand millions of princes of the royal family?

Mr. Andrew asked why, during the time of Philip de Bel, which was about three hundred years after Hugh Capet, there were not six hundred and twenty-three thousand million princes from the royal family?

"It is," said the Doctor of Sorbonne, "because the stock of faith has greatly decreased."

"It is," said the Doctor of Sorbonne, "because the level of faith has significantly dropped."

A great deal was said about Thebes and its hundred gates, and of the million of soldiers that issued out of those gates with the twenty thousand chariots of war.

A lot was said about Thebes and its hundred gates, and about the million soldiers who came out of those gates with the twenty thousand war chariots.

"Shut the book there," said Mr. Andrew. "Since I have taken to reading, I beg to suspect that the same genius that wrote Garagantua, used of yore to write all the histories."

"Shut the book there," said Mr. Andrew. "Now that I've started reading, I can't help but think that the same genius who wrote Gargantua used to write all the histories."

"But, in short," said one of the company, "Thebes, Memphis, Babylon, Nineveh, Troy, Seleucia, were great cities once, and now no longer exist."

"But, in short," said one of the group, "Thebes, Memphis, Babylon, Nineveh, Troy, Seleucia, were once great cities, and now they no longer exist."

"Granted," answered the secretary of the Prince Galitzin; "but Moscow, Constantinople, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Lyons, (which is better than ever Troy was,) and all the towns of France, Germany, Spain, and the North, were then deserts."

"Sure," replied the secretary of Prince Galitzin, "but Moscow, Constantinople, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Lyons (which is better than ever Troy was), and all the towns of France, Germany, Spain, and the North were complete wastelands back then."

The Swiss captain, a gentleman of great knowledge, owned to us, that when his ancestors took it into their heads to quit their mountains and their precipices, to go and take forcible possession, as was but reasonable, of a finer country, Cæsar, who saw with his own eyes the list of those emigrants, found that their number amounted to three hundred and sixty-eight thousand, inclusive of the old, the children, and the women. At this time, the single canton of Berne possesses as many inhabitants, which is not quite the half of Switzerland, and I can assure you, that the thirteen cantons have above seven hundred and twenty thousand souls, including the natives who are serving or carrying on business in other countries. From such data, gentlemen of learning make absurd calculations, and they base fallacious systems on no better footing.

The Swiss captain, a knowledgeable gentleman, told us that when his ancestors decided to leave their mountains and cliffs to take over a better land, which was only fair, Cæsar, who saw the list of these emigrants firsthand, found that their number was three hundred and sixty-eight thousand, including the old, the children, and the women. At this time, the single canton of Berne has about the same number of inhabitants, which is not quite half of Switzerland, and I can tell you that the thirteen cantons have over seven hundred and twenty thousand people, including the locals who are working or doing business in other countries. From such information, learned gentlemen make ridiculous calculations and build flawed systems on such shaky ground.

The question next agitated was, whether the citizens of Rome, in the time of the Cæsars, were richer than the citizens of Paris, in the time of Monsieur Silhouette?

The next question raised was whether the citizens of Rome during the time of the Caesars were wealthier than the citizens of Paris during the time of Monsieur Silhouette.

"Oh," says Mr. Andrew, "this is a point on which I have some call to speak. I was a long time the Man of Forty Crowns; but I conceive that the citizens of Rome had more. Those illustrious robbers on the highway pillaged the finest countries of Asia, of Africa, and of Europe. They lived splendidly on the produce of their rapines; but yet there were doubtless some beggars at Rome. I am persuaded that, among those conquerors of the world, there were some reduced to an income of forty Crowns a year, as I formerly was."

"Oh," says Mr. Andrew, "this is a topic I want to address. I was once the Man of Forty Crowns, but I believe the citizens of Rome had more. Those famous highway robbers plundered the wealthiest regions of Asia, Africa, and Europe. They lived lavishly off their spoils; however, I'm sure there were still some beggars in Rome. I truly believe that among those conquerors of the world, there were some who were left with an income of forty Crowns a year, just like I was."

"Do you know," said a learned member of the Academy of Inscriptions and Belles Lettres, "that it cost Lucullus for every supper he gave in the saloon of Apollo, thirty-nine thousand three hundred and twelve livres of our money; but that the celebrated epicurean Atticus did not expend above two hundred and thirty livres a month for his table."

"Do you know," said a knowledgeable member of the Academy of Inscriptions and Belles Lettres, "that Lucullus spent thirty-nine thousand three hundred twelve livres of our money for every dinner he hosted in the hall of Apollo, while the famous foodie Atticus only spent around two hundred thirty livres a month on his food."

"If that be true," said I, "he deserved to be president of the Miser-society, lately established in Italy. I have read, as you have done, in Florus, that incredible anecdote; but, perhaps Florus had never supped with Atticus, or else his text, like so many others, has been corrupted by copyists. No Florus shall ever make me believe that the friend of Cæsar and of Pompey, of Cicero and of Antony, all of whom were often entertained at his house, got off for something less than ten Louis d'ors a month. But thus exactly 'tis that history is written."

"If that's true," I said, "he deserves to be the president of the Miser-society, which was recently set up in Italy. I’ve read that unbelievable story in Florus, just like you have; but maybe Florus never had dinner with Atticus, or his text, like many others, has been messed up by copyists. No Florus will ever make me believe that the friend of Caesar and Pompey, Cicero and Antony, all of whom dined at his place, got by on anything less than ten Louis d’ors a month. But that's exactly how history is written."

Madam Andrew, for her part, told the learned member of the Academy, that if he would keep her table for ten times as much, she would be greatly obliged to him.

Madam Andrew, for her part, told the knowledgeable member of the Academy that if he would keep her table for ten times the amount, she would be very grateful to him.

I am persuaded, that this evening at Mr. Andrew's cost him as much as the monthly expense of Atticus. As for the ladies, they expressed a doubt whether the suppers of Rome were more agreeable than those of Paris. The conversation was very gay, though leaning a little to the learned. There was no talk of new fashions, nor of the ridiculous part of any one's character or conduct, nor of the scandalous history of the day.

I believe that tonight at Mr. Andrew's cost him about the same as what Atticus spends in a month. As for the ladies, they questioned whether Rome's dinners were more enjoyable than those in Paris. The conversation was lively, though it leaned a bit towards the intellectual. There was no discussion about new trends, nor about anyone's silly behavior or actions, nor about the latest gossip.

The question upon luxury was discussed and searched to the bottom. It was mooted whether or not luxury had been the ruin of the Roman empire; and it was proved that the two empires of the east and west owed their destruction to nothing but to religious controversies, and to the monks; and, in fact, when Alaric took Rome, its whole attention was engrossed by theological disputes; when Mahomet took Constantinople, the monks defended much better the eternity of the light of Mount Thabor, which they saw on their navel,[1] than they defended the town against the Turks.

The issue of luxury was thoroughly debated and examined. There was a question of whether luxury was responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire; it was demonstrated that the downfall of both the eastern and western empires was primarily due to religious disputes and the monks. In fact, when Alaric captured Rome, the city was completely consumed by theological arguments. When Mahomet seized Constantinople, the monks defended their belief in the eternal light of Mount Thabor, which they claimed to see in their navels,[1] rather than defending the city against the Turks.

One of our men of learning made a very significant remark. It was that those two great empires were annihilated, but that the works of Virgil, Horace, and Ovid still exist.

One of our scholars made a very important observation. He noted that those two great empires were destroyed, but the works of Virgil, Horace, and Ovid still remain.

From the age of Augustus, they made but one skip to the age of Louis the XIVth. A lady put the question, why it was that with a great deal of wit there was no longer produced scarcely any work of genius?

From the time of Augustus to the era of Louis XIV, there was only one major leap. A woman asked why, despite so much wit around, nearly no works of genius were being produced anymore.

Mr. Andrew answered, that it was because such works had been produced in the last age. This idea was fine spun, and yet solidly true. It bore a thorough handling. After that, they fell with some harshness upon a Scotchman, who had taken it into his head to give rules to taste, and to criticise the most admirable passages of Racine, without understanding French. But there was one Denina still more severely treated. He had abused Montesquieu's Spirit of Laws, without comprehending him, and had especially censured what is the most liked and approved in that work.

Mr. Andrew replied that it was because such works had been created in the previous era. This idea was well thought out, yet completely true. It was examined thoroughly. After that, they criticized a Scotsman who fancied himself capable of setting standards for taste and critiquing the most remarkable lines from Racine without knowing French. But one Denina was even more harshly criticized. He had attacked Montesquieu's Spirit of Laws without really understanding it and had particularly condemned what is most appreciated in that work.

This recalled to my mind Boileau's making a parade of his affected contempt of Tasso. One of the company advanced that Tasso, with all his faults, was as superior to Homer, as Montesquieu, with his still greater imperfections, was above the farrago of Grotius. But there was presently a strong opposition made to these false criticisms, dictated by national hatred and prejudice. The Seignior Denina was treated as he deserved, and as pedants ought to be by men of wit.

This reminded me of Boileau showing off his fake disdain for Tasso. One person in the group claimed that Tasso, despite his flaws, was superior to Homer, just like Montesquieu, with his even bigger imperfections, was above the jumble of Grotius. But soon, there was a strong backlash against these misguided criticisms fueled by national hatred and bias. Seignior Denina got the treatment he deserved, as pedants should from people of wit.

It was especially remarked, with much sagacity, that the greatest part of the literary works of this age, as well as of the conversations, turned on the examination of the masterpieces of the last century; in which we are like disinherited children, who are taking an estimate of their father's estate. It was confessed that philosophy had made great progress, but that the language and style was somewhat corrupted.

It was pointed out, quite wisely, that most of the literature and discussions of this time revolved around analyzing the masterpieces of the last century; we are like disinherited children assessing their father's estate. It was acknowledged that philosophy had advanced significantly, but that the language and style had become a bit corrupted.

It is the nature of all these conversations, to make transitions from one subject to another. All these objects of curiosity, of science, and of taste, soon vanished, to give way to the great scene which the Empress of Russia, and the King of Poland, were giving to the world. They had been just raising up and restoring the rights of oppressed humanity, and establishing liberty of conscience in a part of the globe of a much greater extent than the old Roman Empire. This service done to human kind, this example given to so many courts, was mentioned with the applause it deserved. Healths were drank to the philosophical empress, to the royal philosopher, and to the philosophical primate, with the wish of their having many imitators. Even the doctors of Sorbonne admired them; for there are some persons of good sense in that body, as there were formerly some men of wit among the Bœotians.

It’s typical for all these conversations to jump from one topic to another. All these points of interest, whether in science or taste, quickly faded away to make room for the grand gesture the Empress of Russia and the King of Poland were presenting to the world. They had just begun to restore the rights of oppressed people and to establish freedom of conscience over a region far larger than the old Roman Empire. This contribution to humanity, this example set for many courts, was rightly praised. Toasts were made to the philosophical empress, the royal philosopher, and the philosophical primate, with hopes that they would have many followers. Even the scholars of Sorbonne admired them; because, like in the past when there were some clever minds among the Bœotians, there are still a few sensible people in that group.

The Russian secretary astonished us with a recital of the great establishments they were forming in Russia. It was asked, why people were in general more fond of reading the history of Charles the XIIth, who passed his life in destroying, than that of Peter the Great, who consumed his in creating? On this we concluded, that weakness and a frivolous turn of mind are the causes of this preference; that Charles the XIIth was the Don Quixote, and Peter the Solon of the North; that superficial understandings prefer a wild extravagant heroism, to the great views of a legislator: that the particulars of the foundation of a town are less pleasing to them, than the rashness of a man, who, at the head of only his domestics, braves an army of ten thousand Turks; and that, in short, most readers love amusement better than instruction. Thence it is, that a hundred women read The Thousand and One Arabian Nights, for one that reads two chapters of Locke.

The Russian secretary amazed us with a presentation about the major institutions they were establishing in Russia. Someone asked why people generally prefer reading the history of Charles the XII, who spent his life in destruction, over that of Peter the Great, who dedicated his life to creation. We concluded that weakness and a frivolous mindset are the reasons for this preference; that Charles the XII was the Don Quixote, while Peter was the Solon of the North; that shallow minds prefer wild, extravagant heroism over the grand visions of a lawmaker: that the details of founding a city are less appealing to them than the recklessness of a man who, with only his household servants, defies an army of ten thousand Turks; and that, in short, most readers prefer entertainment to education. Hence, a hundred women read The Thousand and One Arabian Nights for every one who reads two chapters of Locke.

What was not talked of at this supper? of which I shall long retain the remembrance. It was also in course to say a word of the actors and actresses, that eternal subject of the table-talk of Versailles and of Paris. It was agreed, that a good declaimer was as rare as a good poet. For my part, I must own that Plato's banquet could not have given me more pleasure than that of Monsieur and Madame Andrew.

What wasn't discussed at this dinner? I'll remember it for a long time. We also ended up talking about the actors and actresses, that never-ending topic of conversation in Versailles and Paris. It was agreed that a talented speaker is as rare as a great poet. Personally, I must admit that Plato's banquet couldn't have brought me more joy than the one hosted by Monsieur and Madame Andrew.

Our very pretty gentlemen, and our very fine ladies, would, doubtless, have found it dull, and been tired with it. They pretend to be the only good company: but neither Mr. Andrew nor I ever willingly sup with that kind of good company.

Our very charming gentlemen and our very elegant ladies would probably have found it boring and been exhausted by it. They act like they’re the only good company, but neither Mr. Andrew nor I would ever willingly dine with that kind of so-called good company.

[1] See Gibbon's History of Christianity, page 777, for an account of the monks of Mount Athos, who adored the divine light, as above stated.—E.

[1] Check out Gibbon's History of Christianity, page 777, for a description of the monks of Mount Athos, who worshiped the divine light, as mentioned above.—E.

horse-shoe


The Priory entrance. The entrance to the Priory.

THE HURON; OR, PUPIL OF NATURE.[1]


I.

THE HURON HAS ARRIVED IN FRANCE.

One day, Saint Dunstan, an Irishman by nation, and a saint by trade, left Ireland on a small mountain, which took its route toward the coast of France, and set his saintship down in the bay of St. Malo. When he had dismounted, he gave his blessing to the mountain, which, after some profound bows, took its leave, and returned to its former place.

One day, Saint Dunstan, an Irishman by birth and a saint by profession, left Ireland on a small mountain that was heading towards the coast of France and landed in the bay of St. Malo. Once he got off, he blessed the mountain, which, after a deep bow, said goodbye and returned to its original place.

Here St. Dunstan laid the foundation of a small priory, and gave it the name of the Priory Mountain, which it still keeps, as every body knows.

Here, St. Dunstan established a small priory and named it Priory Mountain, a name it still retains, as everyone knows.

In the year 1689, the fifteenth day of July, in the evening, the abbot Kerkabon, prior of our Lady of the Mountain, happened to take the air along the shore with Miss Kerkabon, his sister. The prior, who was becoming aged, was a very good clergyman, beloved by his neighbors. What added most to the respect that was paid him, was, that among all his clerical neighbors, he was the only one that could walk to his bed after supper. He was tolerably read in theology; and when he was tired of reading St. Augustin, he refreshed himself with Rabelais. All the world spoke well of him.

In 1689, on the evening of July 15th, Abbot Kerkabon, the prior of Our Lady of the Mountain, was out for a stroll along the shore with his sister, Miss Kerkabon. The prior, who was getting older, was a very good clergyman and well-liked by his neighbors. What earned him the most respect was that, among all his fellow clergymen, he was the only one who could walk to his bed after dinner. He had a decent understanding of theology; and when he got tired of reading St. Augustine, he would unwind with Rabelais. Everyone spoke highly of him.

Miss Kerkabon, who had never been married, notwithstanding her hearty wishes so to be, had preserved a freshness of complexion in her forty-fifth year. Her character was that of a good and sensible woman. She was fond of pleasure, and was a devotee.

Miss Kerkabon, who had never been married, even though she really wanted to be, had managed to keep a youthful complexion at forty-five. She was a good and sensible woman. She enjoyed having fun and was a devoted person.

As they were walking, the prior, looking on the sea, said to his sister:

As they walked, the prior looked out at the sea and said to his sister:

"It was here, alas! that our poor brother embarked with our dear sister-in-law, Madam Kerkabon, his wife, on board the frigate 'Swallow,' in 1669, to serve the king in Canada. Had he not been killed, probably he would have written to us."

"It was here, unfortunately! that our poor brother set off with our beloved sister-in-law, Madam Kerkabon, his wife, aboard the frigate 'Swallow,' in 1669, to serve the king in Canada. If he hadn't been killed, he probably would have written to us."

"Do you believe," says Miss Kerkabon, "that our sister-in-law has been eaten by the Cherokees, as we have been told?"

"Do you think," says Miss Kerkabon, "that our sister-in-law has been eaten by the Cherokees, as we were told?"

"Certain it is, had she not been killed, she would have come back. I shall weep for her all my lifetime. She was a charming woman; and our brother, who had a great deal of wit, would no doubt have made a fortune."

"There's no doubt that if she hadn't been killed, she would have returned. I will mourn her for the rest of my life. She was a wonderful woman, and our brother, who was very witty, would have surely made a fortune."

Thus were they going on with mutual tenderness, when they beheld a small vessel enter the bay of Rence with the tide. It was from England, and came to sell provisions. The crew leaped on shore without looking at the prior or Miss, his sister, who were shocked at the little attention shown them.

Thus they continued with mutual affection when they saw a small boat come into the bay of Rence with the tide. It was from England and had come to sell supplies. The crew jumped onto the shore without acknowledging the prior or his sister, Miss, who were taken aback by the little attention given to them.

That was not the behavior of a well-made youth, who, darting himself over the heads of his companions, stood on a sudden before Miss Kerkabon. Being unaccustomed to bowing, he made her a sign with his head. His figure and his dress attracted the notice of brother and sister. His head was uncovered, and his legs bare. Instead of shoes, he wore a kind of sandals. From his head his long hair flowed in tresses, A small close doublet displayed the beauty of his shape. He had a sweet and martial air.[2] In one hand he held a small bottle of Barbadoes water, and in the other a bag, in which he had a goblet, and some sea biscuit. He spoke French very intelligibly. He offered some of his Barbadoes to Miss Kerkabon and her brother. He drank with them, he made them drink a second time, and all this with an air of such native simplicity, that quite charmed brother and sister. They offered him their service, and asked him who he was, and whither going? The young man answered: That he knew not where he should go; that he had some curiosity; that he had a desire to see the coast of France; that he had seen it, and should return.

That was not the behavior of a well-bred young man, who, leaping over the heads of his friends, suddenly stood in front of Miss Kerkabon. Not used to bowing, he simply nodded his head at her. His appearance and clothing caught the attention of both the brother and sister. His head was uncovered, and his legs were bare. Instead of shoes, he wore a type of sandals. His long hair flowed in waves from his head. A snug doublet showed off his physique. He had a charming and bold presence. In one hand, he held a small bottle of Barbadoes water, and in the other, a bag containing a goblet and some sea biscuit. He spoke French clearly. He offered some of his Barbadoes water to Miss Kerkabon and her brother. He shared a drink with them, encouraged them to drink again, all with such an innate simplicity that completely charmed the siblings. They offered him their help and asked him who he was and where he was going. The young man replied that he didn’t know where he was headed; he was curious, wanted to see the coast of France, had seen it, and would be returning.

The prior, judging by his accent that he was not an Englishman, took the liberty of asking of what country he was.

The prior, recognizing from his accent that he wasn't British, felt free to ask which country he was from.

"I am a Huron," answered the youth.

"I’m a Huron," the young man replied.

Miss Kerkabon, amazed and enchanted to see a Huron who had behaved so politely to her, begged the young man's company to supper. He complied immediately, and all three went together to the priory of our Lady of the Mountain. This short and round Miss devoured him with her little eyes, and said from time to time to her brother:

Miss Kerkabon, amazed and delighted to see a Huron who had treated her so politely, invited the young man to join them for dinner. He accepted right away, and all three headed to the priory of our Lady of the Mountain. This short and plump Miss couldn’t take her eyes off him and occasionally said to her brother:

"This tall lad has a complexion of lilies and roses. What a fine skin he has for a Huron!"

"This tall guy has a complexion like lilies and roses. What great skin he has for a Huron!"

"Very true, sister," says the prior.

"That's very true, sister," says the prior.

She put a hundred questions, one after another, and the traveler answered always pertinently.

She asked a hundred questions, one after the other, and the traveler always responded appropriately.

The report was soon spread that there was a Huron at the priory. All the genteel company of the country came to supper. The abbot of St. Yves came with Miss, his sister, a fine, handsome, well-educated girl. The bailiff, the tax-gatherer, and their wives, came all together. The foreigner was seated between Miss Kerkabon and Miss St. Yves. The company eyed him with admiration. They all questioned him together. This did not confound the Huron. He seemed to have taken Lord Bolingbroke's motto, Nil admirari. But at last, tired out with so much noise, he told them in a sweet, but serious tone:

The word got around quickly that there was a Huron at the priory. All the genteel people from the area came for dinner. The abbot of St. Yves arrived with his sister, a beautiful, smart, well-educated young woman. The bailiff, the tax collector, and their wives all came together as well. The foreigner sat between Miss Kerkabon and Miss St. Yves. The guests looked at him with admiration. They all started asking him questions at once. This didn’t fluster the Huron. He seemed to have adopted Lord Bolingbroke's motto, Nil admirari. But eventually, worn out from all the noise, he spoke to them in a gentle yet serious tone:

"Gentlemen, in my country one talks after another. How can I answer you, if you will not allow me to hear you?"

"Gentlemen, in my country, we speak one at a time. How can I respond if you won't let me listen to you?"

Reasoning always brings people to a momentary reflection. They were all silent.

Reasoning always leads people to pause and think for a moment. Everyone was quiet.

Mr. Bailiff, who always made a property of a foreigner wherever he found him, and who was the first man for asking questions in the province, opening a mouth of large size, began:

Mr. Bailiff, who always claimed a foreigner as his own whenever he encountered one, and who was the first to ask questions in the area, opened his large mouth and began:

"Sir, what is your name?"

"Hey, what's your name?"

"I have always been called the Ingenu," answered the Huron; "and the English have confirmed that name, because I always speak as I think, and act as I like."

"I've always been called the Ingenu," replied the Huron; "and the English have backed that up, because I always say what I really think and do what I want."

"But, being born a Huron, how could you come to England?"

"But if you were born a Huron, how could you come to England?"

"I have been carried thither. I was made prisoner by the English after some resistance, and the English, who love brave people, because they are as brave and honest as we, proposed to me, either to return to my family, or go with them to England. I accepted the latter, having naturally a relish for traveling."

"I was taken there. The English captured me after some resistance, and since they appreciate brave individuals, just as we are brave and honest, they offered me the choice to either go back to my family or travel with them to England. I chose the latter, as I have a natural love for traveling."

"But, sir," says the bailiff, with his usual gravity, "how could you think of abandoning father and mother?"

"But, sir," says the bailiff, with his usual seriousness, "how could you think about abandoning your parents?"

"Because I never knew either father or mother," says the foreigner.

"Because I never knew either my father or mother," says the foreigner.

This moved the company; they all repeated:

This touched the company; they all said:

"Neither father nor mother!"

"Neither mom nor dad!"

"We will be in their stead," says the mistress of the house, to her brother, the prior: "How interesting this Huron gentleman is!"

"We will take their place," says the lady of the house to her brother, the prior. "This Huron gentleman is so interesting!"

The Ingenu thanked her with a noble and proud cordiality, and gave her to understand, that he wanted the assistance of nobody.

The Ingenu thanked her with a gracious and confident warmth, making it clear that he didn't need anyone's help.

"I perceive, Mr. Huron," said the huge bailiff, "that you talk better French than can be expected from an Indian."

"I see, Mr. Huron," said the large bailiff, "that you speak better French than one would expect from an Indian."

"A Frenchman," answered he, "whom they had made prisoner when I was a boy, and with whom I contracted a great friendship, taught it me. I rapidly learn what I like to learn. When I came to Plymouth, I met with one of your French refugees, whom you, I know not why, call Huguenots. He improved my knowledge of your language; and as soon as I could express myself intelligibly, I came to see your country, because I like the French well enough, if they do not put too many questions."

"A Frenchman," he replied, "who was captured when I was a boy and became a close friend of mine, taught me. I pick up things quickly when I'm interested. When I arrived in Plymouth, I met one of your French refugees, whom you, for some reason, refer to as Huguenots. He helped me improve my grasp of your language, and as soon as I could communicate clearly, I decided to visit your country because I actually like the French, as long as they don't ask too many questions."

Notwithstanding this candid remark, the abbé of St. Yves asked him, which of the three languages pleased him best, the Huron, English, or French?

Notwithstanding this honest comment, the abbé of St. Yves asked him which of the three languages he liked the most: Huron, English, or French?

"The Huron, to be sure," answered the Ingenu.

"The Huron, of course," replied the Ingenu.

"Is it possible?" cried Miss Kerkabon. "I always thought the French was the first of all languages, after that of Low Britany."

"Is it possible?" exclaimed Miss Kerkabon. "I always thought French was the first language, after that of Low Brittany."

Then all were eager to know how, in Huron, they asked for snuff? He replied:

Then everyone was curious about how they asked for snuff in Huron. He replied:

"Taya."

"Taya."

"What signifies to eat?"

"What does it mean to eat?"

"Essenten."

"Essenten."

Miss Kerkabon was impatient to know how they called, to make love?

Miss Kerkabon was curious to know what they called it when they made love.

He informed her, Trovander; and insisted on it, not without reason, that these words were well worth their synonyms in French and English. Trovander, especially, seemed very pretty to all the company. The prior, who had in his library a Huron grammar, which had been given him by the Rev. Father Sagar Theodat, a Recollet and famous missionary, rose from the table to consult it. He returned quite panting with tenderness and joy. He acknowledged the foreigner for a true Huron. The company speculated a little on the multiplicity of languages; and all agreed, that had it not been for the unfortunate affair of the Tower of Babel, all the world would have spoken French.

He told her, Trovander; and insisted, not without reason, that these words were worth their synonyms in French and English. Trovander, in particular, seemed very lovely to everyone present. The prior, who had a Huron grammar in his library given to him by the Rev. Father Sagar Theodat, a Recollet and famous missionary, got up from the table to check it. He came back quite breathless with warmth and excitement. He recognized the foreigner as a true Huron. The group pondered a bit on the variety of languages; and everyone agreed that if it weren't for the unfortunate incident of the Tower of Babel, the whole world would speak French.

The inquisitive bailiff, who till then had some suspicions of the foreigner, conceived the deepest respect for him. He spoke to him with more civility than before, and the Huron took no notice of it.

The curious bailiff, who until then had some doubts about the foreigner, developed a deep respect for him. He spoke to him with more politeness than before, and the Huron didn’t pay any attention to it.

Miss St. Yves was very curious to know how people made love among the Hurons.

Miss St. Yves was very curious to learn how people made love among the Hurons.

"In performing great actions to please such as resemble you." All the company admired and applauded. Miss St. Yves blushed, and was extremely well pleased. Miss Kerkabon blushed likewise, but was not so well pleased. She was a little piqued that this gallantry was not addressed to her; but she was so good-natured, that her affection for the Huron was not diminished at all. She asked him, with great complacency, how many mistresses he had at home.

"In doing amazing things to impress someone like you." Everyone at the gathering admired and clapped. Miss St. Yves blushed and was really happy. Miss Kerkabon also blushed but wasn’t as pleased. She felt a bit annoyed that this charm wasn’t directed at her; however, she was so kind-hearted that her feelings for the Huron didn’t change at all. She asked him, with a smile, how many girlfriends he had back home.

"Only one," answered the foreigner; "Miss Abacaba, the good friend of my dear nurse. The reed is not straighter, nor is ermine whiter,—no lamb meeker, no eagle fiercer, nor a stag swifter, than was my Abacaba. One day she pursued a hare not above fifty leagues from my habitation: a base Algonquin, who dwells an hundred leagues further, took her hare from her. I was told of it; I ran thither, and with one stroke of my club leveled him with the ground. I brought him to the feet of my mistress, bound hand and foot. Abacaba's parents were for burning him, but I always had a disrelish for such scenes. I set him at liberty. I made him my friend. Abacaba was so pleased with my conduct, that she preferred me to all her lovers. And she would have continued to love me, had she not been devoured by a bear! I slew the bear, and wore his skin a long while; but that has not comforted me."

"Only one," replied the foreigner; "Miss Abacaba, the good friend of my dear nurse. The reed is not straighter, nor is ermine whiter—no lamb is meeker, no eagle fiercer, nor stag swifter than my Abacaba. One day she chased a hare not more than fifty leagues from my home: a lowly Algonquin, who lived a hundred leagues farther away, stole her hare. I heard about it; I ran there, and with one swing of my club, I knocked him to the ground. I brought him to my mistress's feet, tied up. Abacaba's parents wanted to burn him, but I've never liked such scenes. I set him free. I made him my friend. Abacaba was so happy with my actions that she favored me over all her suitors. She would have continued to love me, if she hadn't been killed by a bear! I killed the bear and wore its skin for a long time; but that hasn't comforted me."

Miss St. Yves felt a secret pleasure at hearing that Abacaba had been his only mistress, and that she was no more; yet she understood not the cause of her own pleasure. All eyes were riveted on the Huron, and he was much applauded for delivering an Algonquin from the cruelty of his countrymen.

Miss St. Yves felt a hidden joy at hearing that Abacaba had been his only mistress and that she was gone; yet she didn’t understand why she felt that way. Everyone was focused on the Huron, and he was applauded for saving an Algonquin from the cruelty of his own people.

The merciless bailiff had now grown so furious, that he even asked the Huron what religion he was of; whether he had chosen the English, the French, or that of the Huguenots?

The ruthless bailiff was now so furious that he even asked the Huron what religion he followed; whether he had chosen the English, the French, or that of the Huguenots?

"I am of my own religion," said he, "just as you are of yours."

"I have my own beliefs," he said, "just like you have yours."

"Lord!" cried Miss Kerkabon, "I see already that those wretched English have not once thought of baptizing him!"

"Lord!" exclaimed Miss Kerkabon, "I can already see that those miserable English haven't even thought about baptizing him!"

"Good heavens," said Miss St. Yves, "how is it possible? How is it possible the Hurons should not be Roman Catholics? Have not those reverend fathers, the Jesuits, converted all the world?"

"Good heavens," said Miss St. Yves, "how is that possible? How can the Hurons not be Roman Catholics? Haven't those esteemed Jesuit fathers converted everyone?"

The Huron assured her, that no true American had ever changed his opinion, and that there was not in their language a word to express inconstancy.

The Huron assured her that no real American had ever changed his mind and that there wasn't a word in their language to express inconsistency.

These last words extremely pleased Miss St. Yves.

These final words made Miss St. Yves very happy.

"Oh! we'll baptize him, we'll baptize him," said Miss Kerkabon to the prior. "You shall have that honor, my dear brother, and I will be his god-mother. The Abbot St. Yves shall present him to the font. It will make a fine appearance: it will be talked of all over Britany, and do us the greatest honor."

"Oh! we'll baptize him, we'll baptize him," said Miss Kerkabon to the prior. "You will have that honor, my dear brother, and I will be his godmother. The Abbot St. Yves will present him at the font. It will be a grand event: it will be talked about all over Brittany, and bring us great honor."

The company were all of the same mind with the mistress of the house; they all cried:

The company all agreed with the lady of the house; they all exclaimed:

"We'll baptize him."

"We'll baptize him."

The Huron interrupted them by saying, that in England every one was allowed to live as he pleased. He rather showed some aversion to the proposal which was made, and could not help telling them, that the laws of the Hurons were to the full as good as those of Low Britany. He finished with saying, that he should return the next day. The bottles grew empty, and the company went to bed.

The Huron interrupted them, saying that in England everyone could live as they wanted. He seemed to dislike the proposal made and couldn’t help but point out that the laws of the Hurons were just as good as those of Low Brittany. He concluded by saying he would come back the next day. The bottles were empty, and the group went to bed.

After the Huron had been conducted to his room, they saw that he spread the blankets on the floor, and laid himself down upon them in the finest attitude in the world.

After the Huron was taken to his room, they noticed that he spread the blankets on the floor and laid down on them in the most graceful position.

[1] Le Huron was dramatized, under the name of Civilization, by Mr. John H. Wilkins, and successfully produced at the City of London Theatre, on Wednesday, November 10, 1852. Mr. James Anderson enacted the part of Hercule, the Huron, and added to his well-earned reputation by his correct conception and representation of the Indian character.

[1] Le Huron was adapted for the stage, titled Civilization, by Mr. John H. Wilkins and was successfully performed at the City of London Theatre on Wednesday, November 10, 1852. Mr. James Anderson played the role of Hercule, the Huron, and enhanced his well-deserved reputation with his accurate portrayal of the Indian character.

Mr. James Wallack, Jr., afterward introduced the play to a New York audience at Burton's old Chambers Street Theatre, where it was also received with great favor. Unfortunately for dramatic literature, the promising young author of Civilisation did not long survive his success, but soon filled an early grave.—E.

Mr. James Wallack, Jr., later introduced the play to a New York audience at Burton's old Chambers Street Theatre, where it was also received warmly. Unfortunately for dramatic literature, the promising young author of Civilisation didn’t survive his success for long and soon passed away at a young age.—E.

[2] In Mr. Wilkins's dramatic version of this romance, the Huron is described as

[2] In Mr. Wilkins's dramatic adaptation of this romance, the Huron is described as

"A modell'd Hercules! Mien, stature, glance,
That are the blazons of the inner man,
And voice it to the stars! A hero born,
Whose air commands respect above a king's;
Bearing the stamp from the great mint of heaven,
And current to the world!"—E.

"A sculpted Hercules! His presence, physique, and gaze,
These are the signs of a noble spirit,
And he talks to the stars! A true hero,
Whose attitude demands respect greater than that of a king;
Carrying the seal from the divine source,
And embraced by everyone!"—E.


II.

The Huron, known as the Ingenu, recognized by his relatives.

The Ingenu, according to custom, awoke with the sun, at the crowing of the cock, which is called in England and Huronia, "the trumpet of the day." He did not imitate what is styled good company, who languish in the bed of indolence till the sun has performed half its daily journey, unable to sleep, but not disposed to rise, and lose so many precious hours in that doubtful state between life and death, and who nevertheless complain that life is too short.

The Ingenu, as was the custom, woke up with the sun at the sound of the rooster, which is referred to in England and Huronia as "the trumpet of the day." He didn't follow what’s considered good company, who lounge in their beds, stuck in laziness until the sun has already traveled halfway across the sky, unable to sleep but not wanting to get up, wasting so many precious hours in that uncertain state between living and dying, and who still complain that life is too short.

He had already traversed two or three leagues, and killed fifteen brace of game with his rifle, when, upon his return, he found the prior of the Lady of the Mountain, with his discreet sister, walking in their nightcaps in their little garden. He presented them with the spoils of his morning labor, and taking from his bosom a kind of little talisman, which he constantly wore about his neck, he entreated them to accept of it as an acknowledgment for the kind reception they had given him.

He had already walked two or three leagues and shot fifteen pairs of game with his rifle when, on his way back, he found the prior of the Lady of the Mountain and his modest sister, walking in their nightcaps in their small garden. He offered them the fruits of his morning's work and took from his shirt a small talisman he always wore around his neck, asking them to accept it as a token of gratitude for their warm welcome.

"It is," said he, "the most valuable thing I am possessed of. I have been assured that I shall always be happy whilst I carry this little toy about me; and I give it you that you may be always happy."

"It is," he said, "the most valuable thing I own. I've been told that I'll always be happy as long as I keep this little toy with me; and I'm giving it to you so that you can always be happy."

The prior and Miss smiled with pity at the frankness of the Ingenu. This present consisted of two little portraits, poorly executed, and tied together with a greasy string.

The nun and Miss smiled sympathetically at the honesty of the Ingenu. This gift was made up of two small, poorly done portraits, tied together with a greasy string.

Miss Kerkabon asked him, if there were any painters in Huronia?

Miss Kerkabon asked him if there were any painters in Huronia.

"No," replied the Ingenu, "I had this curiosity from my nurse. Her husband had obtained it by conquest, in stripping some of the French of Canada, who had made war upon us. This is all I know of the matter."

"No," replied the Ingenu, "I got this curiosity from my nurse. Her husband got it by taking it from some of the French in Canada, who had waged war against us. That's all I know about it."

The prior looked attentively upon these pictures, whilst he changed color; his hands trembled, and he seemed much affected.

The prior looked closely at these pictures, while his face changed colors; his hands shook, and he appeared very moved.

"By our Lady of the Mountain," he cried out, "I believe these to be the faces of my brother, the captain, and his lady."

"By our Lady of the Mountain," he shouted, "I think these are the faces of my brother, the captain, and his lady."

Miss, after having consulted them with the like emotion, thought the same. They were both struck with astonishment and joy blended with grief. They both melted, they both wept, their hearts throbbed, and during their disorder, the pictures were interchanged between them at least twenty times in a second. They seemed to devour the Huron's pictures with their eyes. They asked one after another, and even both at once, at what time, in what place, and how these miniatures fell into the hands of the nurse? They reckoned and computed the time from the captain's departure; they recollected having received notice that he had penetrated as far as the country of the Hurons; and from that time they had never heard anything more of him.

Miss, after consulting them with similar emotions, felt the same way. They were both amazed and filled with joy mixed with grief. They both broke down, they both cried, their hearts raced, and in their confusion, the pictures exchanged hands between them at least twenty times in a second. They seemed to consume the Huron's pictures with their eyes. They asked one after another, and even both at once, what time, in what place, and how these miniatures came into the nurse's possession. They calculated the time since the captain left; they remembered being informed that he had gone as far as the Huron's territory; and since then, they had not heard any more about him.

The Huron had told them, that he had never known either father or mother. The prior, who was a man of sense, observed that he had a little beard, and he knew very well that the Hurons never had any. His chin was somewhat hairy; he was therefore the son of an European. My brother and sister-in-law were never seen after the expedition against the Hurons, in 1669. My nephew must then have been nursing at the breast. The Huron nurse has preserved his life, and been a mother to him. At length, after an hundred questions and answers, the prior and his sister concluded that the Huron was their own nephew. They embraced him, whilst tears streamed from their eyes: and the Huron laughed to think that an Indian should be nephew to a prior of Lower Britany.

The Huron told them that he had never known either his father or mother. The prior, who was sensible, noticed he had a bit of a beard, and he knew very well that the Hurons never had facial hair. His chin was somewhat hairy; he was therefore the son of a European. My brother and sister-in-law were never seen again after the expedition against the Hurons in 1669. My nephew must have still been a baby back then. The Huron nurse saved his life and cared for him. Finally, after a hundred questions and answers, the prior and his sister concluded that the Huron was their own nephew. They embraced him, tears streaming down their faces, while the Huron laughed at the thought of an Indian being the nephew of a prior from Lower Brittany.

The huron identified. The Huron recognized them. “By our Lady of the Mountain,” he shouted, “I think these are the faces of my brother, the captain, and his lady.”

All the company went down stairs. Mr. de St. Yves, who was a great physiognomist, compared the two pictures with the Huron's countenance. They observed, very skillfully, that he had the mother's eyes, the forehead and nose of the late Captain Kerkabon, and the cheeks common to both.

All the company went downstairs. Mr. de St. Yves, who was a keen observer of faces, compared the two pictures with the Huron’s features. They noted, very skillfully, that he had his mother’s eyes, the forehead and nose of the late Captain Kerkabon, and the cheeks that were typical of both.

Miss St. Yves, who had never seen either father or mother, was strenuously of opinion, that the young man had a perfect resemblance of them. They all admired Providence, and wondered at the strange events of this world. In a word, they were so persuaded, so convinced of the birth of the Huron, that he himself consented to be the prior's nephew, saying, that he would as soon have him for his uncle as another.

Miss St. Yves, who had never met her father or mother, strongly believed that the young man looked just like them. They all admired fate and were amazed by the strange happenings in this world. In short, they were so sure, so convinced of the Huron's origins, that he even agreed to be the prior's nephew, saying he’d just as readily accept him as an uncle as anyone else.

The prior went to return thanks in the church of our Lady of the Mountain; whilst the Huron, with an air of indifference, amused himself with drinking in the house.

The prior went to give thanks in the church of Our Lady of the Mountain, while the Huron, seeming indifferent, entertained himself by drinking in the house.

The English who had brought him over, and who were ready to set sail, came to tell him that it was time to depart.

The English who had brought him over and were ready to leave came to tell him it was time to go.

"Probably," said he to them, "you have not met with any of your uncles and aunts. I shall stay here. Go you back to Plymouth. I give you all my clothes, as I have no longer occasion for anything in this world, since I am the nephew of a prior."

"Probably," he said to them, "you haven't met any of your uncles and aunts. I'll stay here. You go back to Plymouth. You can have all my clothes, since I don't need anything in this world anymore, now that I'm the nephew of a prior."

The English set sail, without being at all concerned whether the Huron had any relations or not in Lower Britany.

The English set sail, not caring at all whether the Huron had any relatives in Lower Brittany.

After the uncle, the aunt, and the company had sung Te Deum; after the bailiff had once more overwhelmed the Huron with questions, after they had exhausted all their astonishment, joy, and tenderness, the prior of the Mountain and the Abbé of St. Yves concluded that the Huron should be baptized with all possible expedition. But the case was very different with a tall robust Indian of twenty-two, and an infant who is regenerated without his knowing anything of the matter. It was necessary to instruct him, and this appeared difficult; for the Abbé of St. Yves supposed that a man who was not born in France, could not be endowed with common sense.

After the uncle, the aunt, and the guests had sung Te Deum; after the bailiff had once again bombarded the Huron with questions, and they had drained all their astonishment, joy, and affection, the prior of the Mountain and the Abbé of St. Yves decided that the Huron should be baptized as quickly as possible. However, the situation was much different with a tall, strong Indian of twenty-two than with an infant who is reborn without knowing anything about it. They needed to teach him, and this seemed challenging; for the Abbé of St. Yves believed that a man not born in France couldn't possess common sense.

The prior, indeed, observed to the company, that though, in fact, the ingenious gentleman, his nephew, was not so fortunate as to be born in Lower Britany, he was not, upon that account, any way deficient in sense; which might be concluded from all his answers; and that, doubtless, nature had greatly favored him, as well on his father's as on his mother's side?

The prior pointed out to the group that even though the clever gentleman, his nephew, wasn't lucky enough to be born in Lower Brittany, that didn't mean he was lacking in intelligence. This could be seen from all his responses, and surely nature had been very generous to him on both his father's and mother's sides.

He then was asked if he had ever read any books? He said, he had read Rabelais translated into English, and some passages in Shakespeare, which he knew by heart; that these books belonged to the captain, on board of whose ship he came from America to Plymouth; and that he was very well pleased with them. The bailiff failed not to put many questions to him concerning these books.

He was then asked if he had ever read any books. He replied that he had read Rabelais in English translation and some passages from Shakespeare, which he knew by heart. He mentioned that these books belonged to the captain of the ship he took from America to Plymouth, and that he enjoyed them very much. The bailiff didn't hesitate to ask him many questions about these books.

"I acknowledge," said the Huron, "I thought, in reading them, I understood some things, but not the whole."

"I get it," said the Huron, "I thought when I read them that I understood some things, but not everything."

The Abbé of St. Yves reflected upon this discourse, that it was in this manner he had always read, and that most men read no other way.

The Abbé of St. Yves thought about this conversation and realized that this was how he had always read, and that most people read no differently.

"You have," said he, to the Huron, "doubtless read the bible?"

"You have," he said to the Huron, "surely read the Bible?"

"Never, Mr. Abbé: it was not among the captain's books. I never heard it mentioned."

"Never, Mr. Abbé: it wasn't among the captain's books. I never heard it mentioned."

"This is the way with those cursed English," said Miss Kerkabon; "they think more of a play of Shakespeare's, a plum pudding, or a bottle of rum, than they do of the Pentateuch. For this reason they have never converted any Indians in America. They are certainly cursed by God; and we shall conquer Jamaica and Virginia from them in a very short time."

"This is how it is with those cursed English," said Miss Kerkabon; "they care more about a Shakespeare play, a plum pudding, or a bottle of rum than they do about the Pentateuch. Because of this, they have never converted any Indians in America. They are definitely cursed by God; and we will take Jamaica and Virginia from them very soon."

Be this as it may, the most skillful tailor in all St. Malo was sent for to dress the Huron from head to foot. The company separated, and the bailiff went elsewhere to display his inquisitiveness. Miss St. Yves, in parting, returned several times to observe the young stranger, and made him lower courtesies than ever she did any one in her life.

Be that as it may, the most skilled tailor in all of St. Malo was called to dress the Huron from head to toe. The group broke up, and the bailiff went off to satisfy his curiosity. Miss St. Yves, as they parted, glanced back multiple times to look at the young stranger and gave him deeper bows than she had ever done for anyone in her life.

The bailiff, before he took his leave, presented to Miss St. Yves a stupid dolt of a son, just come from college; but she scarce looked at him, so much was she taken up with the politeness of the Huron.

The bailiff, before he left, introduced Miss St. Yves to his dimwitted son, who had just come back from college; but she barely glanced at him, so captivated was she by the Huron's politeness.


III.

THE HURON TRANSFORMED.

The prior finding that he was somewhat advanced in years, and that God had sent him a nephew for his consolation, took it into his head that he would resign his benefice in his favor, if he succeeded in baptizing him and of making him enter into orders.

The previous realization that he was getting older, and that God had sent him a nephew for comfort, led him to think that he would give up his position in favor of the young man, provided he managed to baptize him and get him ordained.

The Huron had an excellent memory. A good constitution, inherited from his ancestors of Lower Britany, strengthened by the climate of Canada, had made his head so vigorous that when he was struck upon it he scarce felt it; and when any thing was graven in it, nothing could efface it. Nothing had ever escaped his memory. His conception was the more sure and lively, because his infancy had not been loaded with useless fooleries, which overwhelm ours. Things entered into his head without being clouded. The prior at length resolved to make him read the New Testament. The Huron devoured it with great pleasure; but not knowing at what time, or in what country all the adventures related in this book had happened, he did not in the least doubt that the scene of action had been in Lower Britany; and he swore, that he would cut off Caiphas and Pontius Pilate's ears, if ever he met those scoundrels.

The Huron had an amazing memory. A strong constitution inherited from his ancestors in Lower Brittany, combined with the climate of Canada, made his mind so sharp that when he was hit on the head, he barely felt it; and once something was etched in his mind, nothing could erase it. He never forgot anything. His understanding was sharper and clearer because his childhood hadn’t been weighed down by pointless nonsense that burdens ours. Thoughts entered his mind without any confusion. Eventually, the prior decided to have him read the New Testament. The Huron enjoyed it immensely; but not knowing when or where all the events in the book took place, he had no doubt that the action happened in Lower Brittany, and he vowed to cut off the ears of Caiaphas and Pontius Pilate if he ever encountered those scoundrels.

His uncle, charmed with this good disposition, soon brought him to the point. He applauded his zeal, but at the same time acquainted him that it was needless, as these people had been dead upwards of 1690 years. The Huron soon got the whole book by heart. He sometimes proposed difficulties that greatly embarrassed the prior. He was often obliged to consult the Abbé St. Yves, who, not knowing what to answer, brought a Jesuit of Lower Britany to perfect the conversion of the Huron.

His uncle, impressed by his eagerness, quickly got to the point. He praised his enthusiasm but also informed him that it was unnecessary since these people had been dead for over 1690 years. The Huron soon memorized the entire book. He occasionally raised questions that confused the prior. The prior often had to consult Abbé St. Yves, who, unsure of what to say, brought in a Jesuit from Lower Brittany to help with the Huron's conversion.

Grace, at length, operated; and the Huron promised to become a Christian. He did not doubt but that the first step toward it was circumcision.

Grace finally took action, and the Huron agreed to become a Christian. He believed that the first step in that direction was circumcision.

"For," said he, "I do not find in the book that was put into my hands a single person who was not circumcised. It is therefore evident, that I must make a sacrifice to the Hebrew custom, and the sooner the better."

"For," he said, "I don’t see a single person who wasn’t circumcised in the book I was given. So, it's clear that I need to make a sacrifice to the Hebrew tradition, and the sooner, the better."

He sent for the surgeon of the village, and desired him to perform the operation. The surgeon, who had never performed such an operation, acquainted the family, who screamed out. The good Miss Kerkabon trembled lest her nephew, whom she knew to be resolute and expeditious, should perform the operation unskillfully himself; and that fatal consequences might ensue.

He called for the village surgeon and asked him to carry out the operation. The surgeon, who had never done such a procedure before, informed the family, who erupted in screams. Good Miss Kerkabon felt anxious that her nephew, who she knew was determined and quick to act, might attempt the operation himself without the proper skills, leading to potentially disastrous results.

The prior rectified the Huron's mistake, representing to him, that circumcision was no longer in fashion; that baptism was much more gentle and salutary; that the law of grace was not like the law of rigor. The Huron, who had much good sense, and was well disposed, disputed, but soon acknowledged his error, which seldom happens in Europe among disputants. In a word, he promised to let himself be baptized whenever they pleased.

The priest corrected the Huron's misunderstanding, explaining that circumcision was no longer popular; that baptism was much more gentle and beneficial; that the law of grace was different from the law of strictness. The Huron, who was sensible and open-minded, debated for a bit but quickly recognized his mistake, which is rare in Europe among those who argue. In short, he promised to be baptized whenever they wanted.

But before baptism it was necessary that he should go to confession, and this was the greatest difficulty to surmount. The Huron had still in his pocket the book his uncle gave him. He did not there find that a single apostle had ever been confessed, and this made him very restive. The prior silenced him, by showing him, in the epistle of St. James the Minor, these words: "Confess your sins to one another." The Huron was mute, and confessed his sins to a Recollet. When he had done, he dragged the Recollet from the confessional chair, and seizing him with a vigorous arm, placed himself in his seat, making the Recollet kneel before him:

But before baptism, it was essential for him to go to confession, and this was the biggest hurdle to overcome. The Huron still had the book his uncle gave him in his pocket. He didn’t find any record of a single apostle ever having confessed, which frustrated him greatly. The prior quieted him by pointing out these words in the epistle of St. James the Minor: "Confess your sins to one another." The Huron was left speechless and confessed his sins to a Recollet. After he finished, he pulled the Recollet out of the confessional chair, and with a strong grip, sat in his place, making the Recollet kneel before him.

"Come, my friend, it is said, 'we must confess our sins to one another;' I have related to you my sins, and you shall not stir till you recount yours."

"Come on, my friend, it's said, 'we must confess our sins to one another;' I’ve shared my sins with you, and you won't leave until you share yours."

Whilst he said this, he fixed his great knee against his adversary's stomach. The Recollet roared and groaned, till he made the church re-echo. The noise brought people to his assistance, who found the catechumen cuffing the monk in the name of St. James the Minor. The joy diffused at the baptizing at once a Low-Breton, a Huron, and an Englishman, surmounted all these singularities. There were even some theologians of opinion that confession was not necessary, as baptism supplied the place of every thing.

While he said this, he pressed his large knee against his opponent's stomach. The Recollet howled and groaned, making the church echo with his cries. The commotion attracted people to help him, who found the catechumen hitting the monk in the name of St. James the Minor. The excitement from baptizing a Low-Breton, a Huron, and an Englishman overshadowed all these oddities. There were even some theologians who believed that confession wasn't necessary since baptism covered everything.

The Bishop of St. Malo was chosen for the ceremony, who flattered, as may be believed, at baptizing a Huron, arrived in a pompous equipage, followed by his clergy. Miss St. Yves put on her best gown to bless God, and sent for a hair dresser from St. Malo's, to shine at the ceremony. The inquisitive bailiff brought the whole country with him. The church was magnificently ornamented. But when the Huron was summoned to attend the baptismal font, he was not to be found.

The Bishop of St. Malo was picked for the ceremony, likely pleased to be baptizing a Huron, and he arrived in a grand coach, followed by his clergy. Miss St. Yves wore her finest dress to honor God and called for a hairdresser from St. Malo's so she would look her best during the ceremony. The curious bailiff brought the entire community along with him. The church was beautifully decorated. But when it was time for the Huron to be brought to the baptismal font, he was nowhere to be found.

His uncle and aunt sought for him every where. It was imagined that he had gone a hunting, according to his usual custom. Every one present at the festival, searched the neighboring woods and villages; but no intelligence could be obtained of the Huron. They began to fear he had returned to England. Some remembered that he had said he was very fond of that country. The prior and his sister were persuaded that nobody was baptized there, and were troubled for their nephew's soul. The bishop was confounded, and ready to return home. The prior and the Abbé St. Yves were in despair. The bailiff interrogated all passengers with his usual gravity. Miss Kerkabon melted into tears. Miss St. Yves did not weep, but she vented such deep sighs, as seemed to testify her sacramental disposition. They were walking in this melancholy mood, among the willows and reeds upon the banks of the little river Rence, when they perceived, in the middle of the stream, a large figure, tolerably white, with its two arms across its breast. They screamed out, and ran away. But, curiosity being stronger than any other consideration, they advanced softly amongst the reeds; and when they were pretty certain they could not be seen, they were willing to descry what it was.

His uncle and aunt looked for him everywhere. They thought he had gone hunting, which was his usual thing. Everyone at the festival searched the nearby woods and villages, but they couldn’t find any news about the Huron. They started to worry that he had gone back to England. Some remembered that he had mentioned how much he liked that country. The prior and his sister believed that no one was baptized there, and they were concerned for their nephew’s soul. The bishop was confused and ready to head home. The prior and Abbé St. Yves were in despair. The bailiff questioned all the passersby with his usual seriousness. Miss Kerkabon burst into tears. Miss St. Yves didn’t cry, but she let out such deep sighs that showed her distress. They were walking in this gloomy mood among the willows and reeds along the banks of the little river Rence when they saw a large figure in the middle of the stream, fairly white, with its arms crossed over its chest. They screamed and ran away. But, curiosity got the better of them, and they quietly moved among the reeds; when they were pretty sure they couldn’t be seen, they wanted to see what it was.

Winged lion

IV.

THE HURON BAPTIZED.

The prior and the abbé having run to the river side, they asked the Huron what he was doing?

The prior and the abbé rushed to the riverbank and asked the Huron what he was doing.

"In faith," said he, "gentlemen, I am waiting to be baptized. I have been an hour in the water, up to my neck, and I do not think it is civil to let me be quite exhausted."

"In faith," he said, "gentlemen, I’m waiting to be baptized. I’ve been in the water, up to my neck, for an hour now, and I don’t think it’s polite to let me get completely exhausted."

"My dear nephew," said the prior to him, tenderly, "this is not the way of being baptized in Lower Britany. Put on your clothes, and come with us."

"My dear nephew," the prior said to him gently, "this is not how we get baptized in Lower Brittany. Put on your clothes and join us."

Miss St. Yves, listening to the discourse, said in a whisper to her companion:

Miss St. Yves, listening to the conversation, said quietly to her companion:

"Miss, do you think he will put his clothes on in such a hurry?"

"Miss, do you think he'll get dressed that quickly?"

The Huron, however, replied to the prior:

The Huron, however, responded to the prior:

"You will not make me believe now as you did before. I have studied very well since, and I am very certain there is no other kind of baptism. The eunuch of Queen Candace was baptized in a rivulet. I defy you to show me, in the book you gave me, that people were ever baptized in any other way. I either will not be baptized at all, or the ceremony shall be performed in the river."

"You won’t convince me now like you did before. I’ve looked into it a lot since then, and I’m pretty sure there’s no other kind of baptism. The eunuch of Queen Candace was baptized in a stream. I challenge you to show me, in the book you gave me, that anyone was ever baptized any other way. I’m either not getting baptized at all, or the ceremony will be done in the river."

It was in vain to remonstrate to him that customs were altered. He always recurred to the eunuch of Queen Candace. And though Miss and his aunt, who had observed him through the willows, were authorized to tell him, that he had no right to quote such a man, they, nevertheless, said nothing;—so great was their discretion. The bishop came himself to speak to him, which was a great thing; but he could not prevail. The Huron disputed with the bishop.

It was pointless to try to convince him that things had changed. He always went back to the eunuch of Queen Candace. Even though Miss and his aunt, who had been watching him through the willows, had the authority to tell him he had no right to quote that guy, they said nothing; their discretion was impressive. The bishop himself came to talk to him, which was significant, but he couldn't sway him. The Huron argued with the bishop.

"Show me," said he, "in the book my uncle gave me, one single man that was not baptized in a river, and I will do whatever you please."

"Show me," he said, "in the book my uncle gave me, one single man who wasn't baptized in a river, and I will do whatever you want."

His aunt, in despair, had observed, that the first time her nephew bowed, he made a much lower bow to Miss St. Yves, than to any one in the company—that he had not even saluted the bishop with so much respect, blended with cordiality, as he did that agreeable young lady. She thought it advisable to apply to her in this great embarrassment. She earnestly entreated her to use her influence to engage the Huron to be baptized according to the custom of Britany, thinking that her nephew could never be a Christian if he persisted in being christened in the stream.

His aunt, feeling hopeless, noticed that the first time her nephew bowed, he bowed much lower to Miss St. Yves than to anyone else in the room—he didn't even greet the bishop with as much respect mixed with warmth as he did that charming young lady. She thought it best to reach out to her for help in this awkward situation. She urgently asked her to use her influence to get the Huron to be baptized in the traditional Brittany way, believing that her nephew could never truly be a Christian if he continued to be baptized in the stream.

The Huron baptized. The Huron baptized.—"I’ve been in the water for an hour, up to my neck, and I don’t think it’s fair to let me get completely worn out."

Miss St. Yves blushed at the secret joy she felt in being appointed to execute so important a commission. She modestly approached the Huron, and squeezing his hand in quite a noble manner, she said to him.

Miss St. Yves blushed at the secret joy she felt in being chosen to carry out such an important task. She humbly approached the Huron, and squeezing his hand in a quite noble way, she said to him.

"What, will you do nothing to please me?"

"What, are you going to do nothing to make me happy?"

And in uttering these words, she raised her eyes from a downcast look, into a graceful tenderness.

And as she said these words, she lifted her eyes from a sad gaze to one filled with gentle warmth.

"Oh! yes, Miss, every thing you require, all that you command, whether it is to be baptized in water, fire, or blood;—there is nothing I can refuse you."

"Oh! yes, Miss, everything you need, all that you ask for, whether it’s to be baptized in water, fire, or blood;—there's nothing I can deny you."

Miss St. Yves had the glory of effecting, in two words, what neither the importunities of the prior, the repeated interrogations of the bailiff, nor the reasoning of the bishop, could effect. She was sensible of her triumph; but she was not yet sensible of its utmost latitude.

Miss St. Yves achieved, in just two words, what neither the persistent pleas of the prior, the repeated questions of the bailiff, nor the reasoning of the bishop could accomplish. She knew she had succeeded, but she wasn't fully aware of the extent of her victory yet.

Baptism was administered, and received with all the decency, magnificence, and propriety possible. His uncle and aunt yielded to the Abbé St. Yves and his sister the favor of supporting the Huron upon the font. Miss St. Yves's eyes sparkled with joy at being a god-mother. She was ignorant how much this high title compromised her. She accepted the honor, without being acquainted with its fatal consequences.

Baptism was performed and received with all the dignity, grandeur, and respect possible. His uncle and aunt allowed Abbé St. Yves and his sister the privilege of holding the Huron over the baptismal font. Miss St. Yves’s eyes shone with happiness at becoming a godmother. She had no idea how much this important title put her at risk. She accepted the honor without knowing its dangerous outcomes.

As there never was any ceremony that was not followed by a good dinner, the company took their seats at table after the christening. The humorists of Lower Britany said, "they did not choose to have their wine baptized." The prior said, "that wine, according to Solomon, cherished the heart of man." The bishop added, "that the Patriarch Judah ought to have tied his ass-colt to the vine, and steeped his cloak in the blood of the grape; and that he was sorry the same could not be done in Lower Britany, to which God had not allotted vines." Every one endeavored to say a good thing upon the Huron's christening, and strokes of gallantry to the god-mother. The bailiff, ever interrogating, asked the Huron, "if he was faithful in keeping his promises?"

As there has never been a ceremony that didn’t end with a good dinner, the group took their seats at the table after the christening. The jokesters from Lower Brittany said, "they didn’t want their wine baptized." The prior remarked, "that wine, according to Solomon, delights the heart of man." The bishop added, "that the Patriarch Judah should have tied his colt to the vine and soaked his cloak in the blood of the grape; and he regretted that this couldn’t be done in Lower Brittany, where God had not given them vines." Everyone tried to say something nice about the Huron's christening and flattering remarks to the godmother. The bailiff, always curious, asked the Huron, "if he was keeping his promises?"

"How," said he, "can I fail keeping them, since I have deposited them in the hands of Miss St. Yves?"

"How," he said, "can I fail to keep them safe when I've handed them over to Miss St. Yves?"

The Huron grew warm; he had drank repeatedly his god-mother's health.

The Huron started to feel warm; he had repeatedly toasted to his godmother's health.

"If," said he, "I had been baptized with your hand, I feel that the water which was poured on the nape of my neck would have burnt me."

"If," he said, "if I had been baptized by your hand, I think the water that was poured on the back of my neck would have burned me."

The bailiff thought that this was too poetical, being ignorant that allegory is a familiar figure in Canada. But his god-mother was very well pleased.

The bailiff thought this was too poetic, not realizing that allegory is a common thing in Canada. But his godmother was very pleased.

The Huron had, at his baptism, received the name of Hercules. The bishop of St. Malo frequently enquired, who was this tutelar saint, whom he had never heard mentioned before? The Jesuit, who was very learned, told him, "that he was a saint who had wrought twelve miracles." There was a thirteenth, which was well worth the other twelve, but it was not proper for a Jesuit to mention it. This was the marriage of fifty girls at one time—the daughters of king Thespius. A wag, who was present, related this miracle very feelingly. And all judged, from the appearance of the Huron, that he was a worthy representative of the saint whose name he bore.

The Huron, at his baptism, had received the name Hercules. The bishop of St. Malo often asked who this protective saint was, as he’d never heard of him before. The Jesuit, who was quite knowledgeable, explained that he was a saint who performed twelve miracles. There was a thirteenth miracle that was even more impressive than the other twelve, but it wasn’t appropriate for a Jesuit to mention. This miracle was the marriage of fifty girls at once—the daughters of King Thespius. A jokester present shared this miracle with great emotion. Everyone agreed, based on the Huron’s demeanor, that he was a fitting representative of the saint whose name he carried.


V.

THE HURON IN LOVE.

It must be acknowledged, that from the time of this christening and this dinner, Miss St. Yves passionately wished that the bishop would again make her an assistant with Mr. Hercules in some other fine ceremony—that is, the marriage ceremony. However, as she was well brought up, and very modest,—she did not entirely agree with herself in regard to these tender sentiments; but if a look, a word, a gesture, a thought, escaped from her, she concealed it admirably under the veil of modesty. She was tender, lively, and sagacious.

It should be noted that since the time of this christening and dinner, Miss St. Yves deeply hoped that the bishop would invite her to assist Mr. Hercules in another significant ceremony—that is, the marriage ceremony. However, being well-mannered and quite modest, she didn’t fully reconcile her feelings about these romantic sentiments; yet if a look, word, gesture, or thought slipped out, she skillfully hid it behind her modesty. She was gentle, vibrant, and perceptive.

As soon as the bishop was gone, the Huron and Miss St. Yves met together, without thinking they were in search of one another. They spoke together, without premeditating what they said. The sincere youth immediately declared, "that he loved her with all his heart; and that the beauteous Abacaba, with whom he had been desperately in love in his own country, was far inferior to her." Miss replied, with her usual modesty, "that the prior, her uncle, and the lady, her aunt, should be spoken to immediately; and that, on her side, she would say a few words to her dear brother, the Abbé of St. Yves, and that she flattered herself it would meet with no opposition."

As soon as the bishop left, the Huron and Miss St. Yves ran into each other, not realizing they were looking for one another. They spoke freely, without planning their words. The earnest young man quickly confessed, "I love you with all my heart, and the beautiful Abacaba, who I was desperately in love with back in my country, cannot compare to you." Miss St. Yves responded, with her usual modesty, "We should talk to my uncle, the prior, and my aunt right away; and I will also speak to my dear brother, the Abbé of St. Yves, hoping that it will receive no opposition."

The youth replied: "that the consent of any one was entirely superfluous; that it appeared to him extremely ridiculous to go and ask others what they were to do; that when two parties were agreed, there was no occasion for a third, to accomplish their union."

The young person replied, "that getting anyone else's approval was completely unnecessary; that it seemed really silly to ask others what they should do; that when two sides were in agreement, there was no need for a third party to bring them together."

"I never consult any one," said he, "when I have a mind to breakfast, to hunt, or to sleep. I am sensible, that in love it is not amiss to have the consent of the person whom we wish for; but as I am neither in love with my uncle nor my aunt, I have no occasion to address myself to them in this affair; and if you will believe me, you may equally dispense with the advice of the Abbé of St. Yves."

"I never ask anyone," he said, "when I feel like having breakfast, going hunting, or taking a nap. I understand that in matters of love, it's important to have the consent of the person we desire; but since I'm not in love with either my uncle or my aunt, I don't need to involve them in this situation. And if you trust me, you can also do without the advice of the Abbé of St. Yves."

It may be supposed that the young lady exerted all the delicacy of her wit, to bring her Huron to the terms of good breeding. She was very angry, but soon softened. In a word, it cannot be said how this conversation would have ended, if the declining day had not brought the Abbé to conduct his sister home. The Huron left his uncle and aunt to rest, they being somewhat fatigued with the ceremony, and long dinner. He passed part of the night in writing verses in the Huron language, upon his well-beloved; for it should be known, that there is no country where love has not rendered lovers poets.[1]

It could be assumed that the young woman used all her wit to teach her Huron the basics of good manners. She was quite upset but soon calmed down. In short, it’s hard to say how this conversation might have ended if the setting sun hadn’t brought the Abbé to take his sister home. The Huron left his uncle and aunt to relax, as they were a bit tired from the ceremony and the long dinner. He spent part of the night writing verses in the Huron language about his beloved, because it’s important to note that there isn’t a place in the world where love hasn’t turned lovers into poets.[1]

The next day his uncle spoke to him in the following manner. "I am somewhat advanced in years. My brother has left only a little bit of ground, which is a very small matter. I have a good priory. If you will only make yourself a sub-deacon, as I hope you will, I will resign my priory in your favor; and you will live quite at your ease, after having been the consolation of my old age."

The next day, his uncle talked to him like this: "I'm getting on in years. My brother left me just a little bit of land, which isn't much. I have a good priory. If you just become a sub-deacon, as I hope you will, I'll give up my priory for you; and you'll live comfortably, having been the support of my old age."

The Huron replied:

The Huron responded:

"Uncle, much good may it do you; live as long as you can. I do not know what it is to be a sub-deacon, or what it is to resign, but every thing will be agreeable to me, provided I have Miss St. Yves at my disposal."

"Uncle, I hope it does you well; live as long as you can. I don’t understand what it means to be a sub-deacon, or what it means to resign, but I’ll be happy with anything as long as I have Miss St. Yves available to me."

"Good heavens, nephew! what is it you say? Do you love that beautiful young lady so earnestly?"

"Good heavens, nephew! What are you saying? Do you really love that beautiful young lady so much?"

"Yes, uncle."

"Yeah, uncle."

"Alas! nephew, it is impossible you should ever marry her."

"Unfortunately, nephew, it is impossible for you to ever marry her."

"It is very possible, uncle; for she did not only squeeze my hand when she left me, but she promised she would ask me in marriage. I certainly shall wed her."

"It’s very possible, uncle; she not only squeezed my hand when she left, but she also promised she would ask me to marry her. I definitely will marry her."

"It is impossible, I tell you, she is your god-mother. It is a dreadful sin for a god-mother to give her hand to her god-son. It is contrary to all laws, human and divine."

"It’s impossible, I tell you, she is your godmother. It’s a terrible sin for a godmother to marry her godson. It goes against all human and divine laws."

"Why the deuce, uncle, should it be forbidden to marry one's god-mother, when she is young and handsome? I did not find, in the book you gave me, that it was wrong to marry young women who assisted at christenings. I perceive, every day, that an infinite number of things are done here which are not in your book, and nothing is done that is said in it. I must acknowledge to you, that this astonishes and displeases me. If I am deprived of the charming Miss St. Yves on account of my baptism, I give you notice, that I will run away with her and unbaptize myself."

"Why on earth, uncle, should it be wrong to marry one's godmother when she's young and attractive? I didn't find anything in the book you gave me that says it's wrong to marry young women who attend baptisms. I notice every day that a million things happen here that aren't in your book, and nothing happens that is mentioned in it. I have to admit, this surprises and frustrates me. If I'm denied the lovely Miss St. Yves because of my baptism, just so you know, I’ll run away with her and unbaptize myself."

The prior was confounded; his sister wept.

The prior was confused; his sister cried.

"My dear brother," said she, "our nephew must not damn himself; our holy father the pope can give him a dispensation, and then he may be happy, in a christian-like manner, with the person he likes."

"My dear brother," she said, "our nephew must not condemn himself; our holy father the pope can give him a dispensation, and then he can be happy, in a Christian way, with the person he loves."

The ingenuous Hercules embraced his aunt:

The naive Hercules hugged his aunt:

"For goodness sake," said he, "who is this charming man, who is so gracious as to promote the amours of girls and boys? I will go and speak to him this instant."

"For goodness' sake," he said, "who is this charming guy who's so kind as to encourage the romances of girls and guys? I’m going to talk to him right now."

The dignity and character of the pope was explained to him, and the Huron was still more astonished than before.

The dignity and character of the pope were explained to him, and the Huron was even more astonished than before.

"My dear uncle," said he, "there is not a word of all this in your book; I have traveled, and am acquainted with the sea; we are now upon the coast of the ocean, and I must leave Miss St. Yves, to go and ask leave to marry her of a man who lives toward the Mediterranean, four hundred leagues from hence, and whose language I do not understand! This is most incomprehensibly ridiculous! But I will go first to the Abbé St. Yves, who lives only a league from hence; and I promise you I will wed my mistress before night."

"My dear uncle," he said, "none of this is in your book; I’ve traveled and know the sea. We are now on the coast of the ocean, and I need to leave Miss St. Yves to ask a man who lives towards the Mediterranean, four hundred leagues away, for permission to marry her, and I don’t even understand his language! This is completely ridiculous! But first, I’ll go to Abbé St. Yves, who lives just a league away; and I promise you I will marry my sweetheart before nightfall."

Whilst he was yet speaking, the bailiff entered, and, according to his usual custom, asked him where he was going?

While he was still talking, the bailiff came in and, as usual, asked him where he was headed.

"I am going to get married," replied the ingenuous Hercules, running along; and in less than a quarter of an hour he was with his charming dear mistress, who was still asleep.

"I’m getting married," replied the naive Hercules, running along; and in less than fifteen minutes he was with his lovely dear mistress, who was still asleep.

"Ah! my dear brother," said Miss Kerkabon to the prior, "you will never make a sub-deacon of our nephew."

"Ah! my dear brother," said Miss Kerkabon to the prior, "you will never make a sub-deacon out of our nephew."

The bailiff was very much displeased at this journey; for he laid claim to Miss St. Yves in favor of his son, who was a still greater and more insupportable fool than his father.

The bailiff was really unhappy about this trip; he wanted Miss St. Yves for his son, who was an even bigger and more unbearable fool than he was.

[1] "Love," says Robert G. Ingersoll, "writes every poem, sings every song, paints every picture, chisels every statue—makes kings and queens of common clay, and is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the human heart."—E.

[1] "Love," says Robert G. Ingersoll, "creates every poem, sings every song, paints every picture, carves every statue—turns ordinary people into kings and queens, and is the fragrance of that amazing flower, the human heart."—E.


VI.

The Huron flies to his lover and becomes very angry.

No sooner had the ingenuous Hercules reached the house, than having asked the old servant, which was his mistress's apartment, he forced open the door, which was badly fastened, and flew toward the bed. Miss St. Yves, startled out of her sleep, cried.

No sooner had the naive Hercules arrived at the house than he asked the old servant which room belonged to his mistress. He pushed open the door, which was poorly locked, and rushed toward the bed. Miss St. Yves, jolted awake, screamed.

"Ah! what, is it you! Stop, what are you about?" He answered:

"Hey! Is that you? Stop, what are you doing?" He replied:

"I am going to marry."

"I'm getting married."

She opposed him with all the decency of a young lady so well educated; but the Huron did not understand raillery, and found all evasions extremely disagreeable.

She opposed him with all the grace of a well-educated young lady; but the Huron didn't get sarcasm and found all the sidestepping quite frustrating.

"Miss Abacaba, my first mistress," said he, "did not behave in this manner; you have no honesty; you promised me marriage, and you will not marry; this is being deficient in the first laws of honor."

"Miss Abacaba, my first mistress," he said, "didn't act like this; you have no integrity; you promised me marriage, and you won't marry me; this goes against the most basic principles of honor."

The outcries of the lady, brought the sagacious Abbé de St. Yves with his housekeeper, an old devotee servant, and the parish priest. The sight of these moderated the courage of the assailant.

The lady's screams brought the wise Abbé de St. Yves, along with his housekeeper, an old devoted servant, and the parish priest. Seeing them reduced the attacker’s bravado.

"Good heavens!" cried the Abbé, "my dear neighbor, what are you about?"

"Good heavens!" exclaimed the Abbé, "my dear neighbor, what are you doing?"

"My duty," replied the young man, "I am fulfilling my promises, which are sacred."

"My duty," replied the young man, "I'm keeping my promises, which are sacred."

Miss St. Yves adjusted herself, not without blushing. The lover was conducted into another apartment. The Abbé remonstrated to him on the enormity of his conduct. The Huron defended himself upon the privileges of the law of nature, which he understood perfectly well. The Abbé maintained, that the law positive should be allowed all its advantages; and that without conventions agreed on between men, the law of nature must almost constantly be nothing more than natural felony. Notaries, priests, witnesses, contracts, and dispensations, were absolutely necessary.

Miss St. Yves got herself comfortable, not without blushing. The lover was taken into another room. The Abbé scolded him about the seriousness of his actions. The Huron defended himself based on the privileges of natural law, which he understood very well. The Abbé argued that positive law should be given all its benefits; without agreements made between people, natural law often amounts to nothing more than natural crime. Notaries, priests, witnesses, contracts, and dispensations were absolutely essential.

The ingenuous Hercules made answer with the observation constantly adopted by savages:

The straightforward Hercules responded with a statement often made by primitive people:

"You are then very great rogues, since so many precautions are necessary."

"You are quite the tricksters, considering how many precautions you need."

This remark somewhat disconcerted the Abbé.

This comment slightly unsettled the Abbé.

"There are, I acknowledge, libertines and cheats among us, and there would be as many among the Hurons, if they were united in a great city: but, at the same time, we have direct, honest, enlightened people; and these are the men who have framed the laws. The more upright we are, the more readily we should submit to them, as we thereby set an example to the vicious, who respect those bounds which virtue has given herself."

"There are, I admit, people who are dishonest and immoral among us, and there would be just as many among the Hurons if they were gathered in a large city. However, at the same time, we have direct, honest, and educated individuals, and these are the people who have created the laws. The more moral we are, the more we should willingly comply with those laws, as it sets an example for the unethical, who observe the limits that virtue has established for itself."

This answer struck the Huron. It has already been observed, that his mind was well disposed. He was softened by flattering speeches, which promised him hopes; all the world is caught in these snares; and Miss St. Yves herself appeared, after having been at her toilet. Every thing was now conducted with the utmost good breeding.

This answer resonated with the Huron. It’s already been noted that he was in a receptive state of mind. He was swayed by flattering words that offered him promises; everyone falls into these traps. Miss St. Yves herself made an appearance after getting ready. Everything was now handled with the utmost politeness.

The separation. The breakup.

It was with much difficulty that Hercules was sent back to his relations. It was again necessary for the charming Miss St. Yves to interfere; the more she perceived the influence she had upon him, the more she loved him. She made him depart, and was much affected at it. At length, when he was gone, the Abbé, who was not only Miss St. Yves's elder brother by many years, but was also her guardian, endeavored to wean his ward from the importunities of this dreadful lover. He went to consult the bailiff, who had always intended his son for the Abbé's sister, and who advised him to place the poor girl in a convent. This was a terrible stroke. Such a measure would, to a young lady unaffected with any particular passion, have been inexpressible punishment; but to a love-sick maid, equally sagacious and tender, it was despair itself.

It was really hard for Hercules to go back to his family. The lovely Miss St. Yves had to step in again; the more she realized the effect she had on him, the more she fell for him. She made him leave, and it really upset her. Finally, after he was gone, the Abbé, who was not only Miss St. Yves's older brother by many years but also her guardian, tried to pull her away from the clutches of this awful suitor. He went to talk to the bailiff, who had always planned for his son to marry the Abbé's sister, and the bailiff suggested putting the poor girl in a convent. That was a devastating idea. For a young woman without any strong feelings, such a punishment would be unbearable; but for a lovesick girl, both clever and sensitive, it was pure despair.

When the ingenuous Hercules returned to the Prior's, he related all that had happened with his usual frankness. He met with the same remonstrances, which had some effect upon his mind, though none upon his senses; but the next day, when he wanted to return to his mistress, in order to reason with her upon the law of nature and the law of convention, the bailiff acquainted him, with insulting joy, that she was in a convent.

When the naive Hercules got back to the Prior's, he shared everything that had happened with his usual honesty. He faced the same objections, which impacted his thoughts but didn't affect his feelings at all; but the next day, when he wanted to go see his girlfriend to discuss the natural law and social conventions, the bailiff rudely informed him, with a smug smile, that she was in a convent.

"Very well," said he, "I'll go and reason with her in this convent."

"Alright," he said, "I'll go talk to her at this convent."

That cannot be, said the bailiff; and then entered into a long explanation of the nature of a convent, telling him that this word was derived from conventus, in the Latin, which signifies "an assembly;" and the Huron could not comprehend, why he might not be admitted into this assembly. As soon as he was informed that this assembly was a kind of prison, in which girls were shut up, a shocking institution, unknown in Huronia and England; he became as furious as was his patron Hercules, when Euritus, king of Œchalia, no less cruel than the Abbé of St. Yves, refused him the beauteous Iola, his daughter, not inferior in beauty to the Abbé's sister. He was upon the point of going to set fire to the convent to carry off his mistress, or be burnt with her. Miss Kerkabon, terrified at such a declaration, gave up all hopes of ever seeing her nephew a sub-deacon; and, sadly weeping, she exclaimed: "The devil has certainly been in him since he has been christened."

“That can’t be,” said the bailiff, and then he went into a long explanation about what a convent is, telling him that this word comes from conventus in Latin, which means “an assembly.” The Huron couldn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to join this assembly. As soon as he found out that this assembly was basically a type of prison where girls were kept, a shocking idea that was unknown in Huronia and England, he got as furious as his patron Hercules when Euritus, the king of Œchalia—who was just as cruel as the Abbé of St. Yves—refused him the beautiful Iola, his daughter, who was just as beautiful as the Abbé's sister. He was about to go set fire to the convent to take his mistress or die with her. Miss Kerkabon, terrified by such a statement, gave up all hopes of ever seeing her nephew become a sub-deacon, and, crying sadly, she exclaimed, “The devil has definitely gotten into him since he got baptized.”


VII.

THE HURON DEFEATS THE ENGLISH.

The ingenuous Hercules walked toward the sea-coast wrapped in deep and gloomy melancholy, with his double charged fusee upon his shoulder, and his cutlass by his side, shooting now and then a bird, and often tempted to shoot himself; but he had still some affection for life, for the sake of his dear mistress; by turns execrating his uncle and aunt, all Lower Britany, and his christening; then blessing them, as they had introduced him to the knowledge of her he loved. He resolved upon going to burn the convent, and he stopped short for fear of burning his mistress. The waves of the Channel are not more agitated by the easterly and westerly winds, than was his heart by so many contrary emotions.

The innocent Hercules walked towards the coast, wrapped in deep and gloomy sadness, with his double-barreled gun on his shoulder and his cutlass by his side. He occasionally shot at a bird and often felt tempted to shoot himself; but he still had some love for life because of his dear mistress. He alternated between cursing his uncle and aunt, all of Lower Brittany, and his baptism; then blessing them for introducing him to the woman he loved. He decided he would burn down the convent, but stopped short, fearing he would harm his mistress. The waves of the Channel were no more stirred by the easterly and westerly winds than his heart was by so many conflicting emotions.

He was walking along very fast, without knowing whither he was going, when he heard the beat of a drum. He saw, at a great distance, a vast multitude, part of whom ran toward the coast, and the other part in the opposite direction.

He was walking quickly, not really knowing where he was headed, when he heard the sound of a drum. In the distance, he saw a huge crowd, some of whom were running toward the shore, while the others were heading in the opposite direction.

A thousand shrieks re-echoed on every side. Curiosity and courage hurried him, that instant, toward the spot where the greatest clamor arose, which he attained in a few leaps. The commander of the militia, who had supped with him at the Prior's, knew him immediately, and he ran to the Huron with open arms:

A thousand screams echoed all around. Curiosity and bravery pushed him forward at that moment to the place where the loudest noise came from, which he reached in just a few jumps. The militia commander, who had dined with him at the Prior's, recognized him right away and ran to the Huron with open arms:

"Ah! it is the sincere American: he will fight for us."

"Ah! it’s the genuine American: he will fight for us."

Upon which the militia, who were almost dead with fear, recovered themselves, crying with one voice:

Upon which the militia, who were nearly paralyzed with fear, gathered themselves, shouting in unison:

"It is the Huron, the ingenuous Huron."

"It is the Huron, the naïve Huron."

"Gentlemen," said he, "what is the matter? Why are you frightened? Have they shut your mistresses up in convents?"

"Gentlemen," he said, "what's going on? Why are you scared? Have they locked your partners away in convents?"

Instantly a thousand confused voices cried out:

Instantly, a thousand confused voices shouted:

"Do you not see the English, who are landing?"

"Don’t you see the English people who are arriving?"

"Very well," replied the Huron, "they are a brave people; they never proposed making me a sub-deacon; they never carried off my mistress."

"Alright," the Huron replied, "they're a courageous people; they never suggested making me a sub-deacon; they never took my lady."

The commander made him understand, that they were coming to pillage the Abbé of the Mountain, drink his uncle's wine, and perhaps carry off Miss St. Yves; that the little vessel which set him on shore in Britany had come only to reconnoitre the coast; that they were committing acts of hostility, without having declared war against France; and that the province was entirely exposed to them.

The commander made it clear to him that they were planning to raid the Abbé of the Mountain, drink his uncle's wine, and maybe even abduct Miss St. Yves; that the small boat that dropped him off in Brittany was only there to scout the coast; that they were engaging in hostile actions without having officially declared war on France; and that the province was completely vulnerable to them.

"If this he the case," said he, "they violate the law of nature: let me alone; I lived a long time among them; I am acquainted with their language, and I will speak to them. I cannot think they can have so wicked a design."

"If this is the case," he said, "then they are breaking the law of nature: leave me alone; I lived among them for a long time; I know their language, and I will talk to them. I can't believe they would have such a wicked plan."

During this conversation the English fleet approached; the Huron ran toward it, and having jumped into a little boat, soon rowed to the Admiral's ship, and having gone on board, asked "whether it was true, that they were come to ravage the coast, without having honestly declared war?"

During this conversation, the English fleet drew near; the Huron rushed toward it, jumped into a small boat, and quickly rowed to the Admiral's ship. After boarding, he asked, "Is it true that you've come to plunder the coast without officially declaring war?"

The Admiral and all his crew burst out into laughter, made him drink some punch, and sent him back.

The Admiral and his entire crew erupted in laughter, made him down some punch, and sent him on his way.

The ingenuous Hercules, piqued at this reception, thought of nothing else but beating his old friends for his countrymen and the Prior. The gentlemen of the neighborhood ran from all quarters, and joined them; they had some cannon, and he discharged them one after the other. The English landed, and he flew toward them, when he killed three of them with his own hand. He even wounded the Admiral, who had made a joke of him. The entire militia were animated with his prowess. The English returned to their ships, and went on board; and the whole coast re-echoed with the shouts of victory, "Live the king! live the ingenuous Hercules!"

The naive Hercules, upset by this reception, thought only about defeating his old friends for his fellow countrymen and the Prior. The local gentlemen rushed in from every direction to join them; they had some cannons, and he fired them off one by one. The English landed, and he charged at them, killing three with his own hands. He even wounded the Admiral, who had made fun of him. The entire militia was inspired by his bravery. The English retreated to their ships, and the whole coast echoed with shouts of victory, "Long live the king! Long live the naive Hercules!"

Every one ran to embrace him; every one strove to stop the bleeding of some slight wounds he had received.

Everyone rushed to hug him; everyone tried to stop the bleeding from some minor wounds he had received.

"Ah!" said he, "if Miss St. Yves were here, she would put on a plaster for me."

"Ah!" he said, "if Miss St. Yves were here, she would put a bandage on me."

The bailiff, who had hid himself in his cellar during the battle, came to pay his compliments like the rest. But he was greatly surprised, when he heard the ingenuous Hercules say to a dozen young men, well disposed for his service, who surrounded him:

The bailiff, who had hidden himself in his cellar during the battle, came to offer his respects like everyone else. But he was very surprised when he heard the straightforward Hercules speak to a dozen young men, eager to serve him, who were gathered around him:

"My friends, having delivered the Abbé of the Mountain is nothing; we must rescue a nymph."

"My friends, delivering the Abbé of the Mountain is easy; we need to rescue a nymph."

The warm blood of these youths was fired at the expression. He was already followed by crowds, who repaired to the convent. If the bailiff had not immediately acquainted the commandant with their design, and he had not sent a detachment after the joyous troop, the thing would have been done. The Huron was conducted back to his uncle and aunt, who overwhelmed him with tears and tenderness.

The warm blood of these young people was sparked by the excitement. He was already being followed by crowds that headed to the convent. If the bailiff hadn’t quickly informed the commandant about their plan, and if he hadn’t sent a squad after the happy group, it would have happened. The Huron was taken back to his uncle and aunt, who showered him with tears and affection.

"I see very well," said his uncle, "that you will never be either a sub-deacon or a prior; you will be an officer, and one still braver than my brother the Captain, and probably as poor."

"I can see quite clearly," said his uncle, "that you'll never be a sub-deacon or a prior; you'll be an officer, and one even braver than my brother the Captain, and likely just as broke."

Miss Kerkabon could not stop an incessant flood of tears, whilst she embraced him, saying, "he will be killed too, like my brother; it were much better he were a sub-deacon."

Miss Kerkabon couldn't stop the constant stream of tears as she hugged him, saying, "he's going to get killed too, just like my brother; it would be much better if he were a sub-deacon."

The Huron had, during the battle, picked up a purse full of guineas, which the Admiral had probably lost. He did not doubt but that this purse would buy all Lower Britany, and, above all, make Miss St. Yves a great lady. Every one persuaded him to repair to Versailles, to receive the recompense due to his services. The commandant, and the principal officers, furnished him with certificates in abundance. The uncle and aunt also approved of this journey. He was to be presented to the king without any difficulty. This alone would give him great weight in the province. These two good folks added to the English purse a considerable present out of their savings. The Huron said to himself, "When I see the king, I will ask Miss St. Yves of him in marriage, and certainly he will not refuse me." He set out accordingly, amidst the acclamations of the whole district, stifled with embraces, bathed in tears by his aunt, blessed by his uncle, and recommending himself to the charming Miss St. Yves.

The Huron had, during the battle, picked up a bag full of guineas that the Admiral probably lost. He was sure that this bag could buy all of Lower Brittany and, most importantly, make Miss St. Yves a great lady. Everyone encouraged him to go to Versailles to receive the rewards he deserved for his services. The commandant and the main officers provided him with plenty of certificates. His uncle and aunt also supported this trip. He would be presented to the king without any hassle. This alone would give him a lot of influence in the province. These two kind individuals added a generous gift from their savings to the English bag. The Huron thought to himself, "When I see the king, I will ask him for Miss St. Yves's hand in marriage, and I’m sure he won’t say no." He set out accordingly, amidst the cheers of the whole district, wrapped in hugs, tearful from his aunt, blessed by his uncle, and thinking of the lovely Miss St. Yves.


VIII.

THE HURON GOES TO COURT. STOPS ON THE ROAD WITH SOME HUGUENOTS.

The ingenuous Hercules took the Saumur road in the coach, because there was at that time no other convenience. When he came to Saumur, he was astonished to find the city almost deserted, and to see several families going away. He was told, that half a dozen years before, Saumur contained upwards of fifty thousand inhabitants, and that at present there were not six thousand. He mentioned this at the inn, whilst at supper. Several Protestants were at table; some complained bitterly, others trembled with rage, others, weeping, said, Nos dulcia linquimus arva, nos patriam fugimus. The Huron, who did not understand Latin, had these words explained to him, which signified, "We abandon our sweet fields;—We fly from our country."

The naive Hercules took the Saumur road by coach since there was no other option available at that time. When he arrived in Saumur, he was shocked to see the city nearly empty and to notice several families leaving. He learned that just six years earlier, Saumur had over fifty thousand residents, and now there were barely six thousand. He brought this up at the inn during supper. Several Protestants were at the table; some voiced their frustrations, others trembled with anger, and some, in tears, said, Nos dulcia linquimus arva, nos patriam fugimus. The Huron, who didn't understand Latin, had these words explained to him, which meant, "We abandon our sweet fields;—We flee from our country."

"And why do you fly from your country, gentlemen?"

"And why are you fleeing your country, gentlemen?"

"Because we must otherwise acknowledge the Pope."

"Because we would otherwise have to acknowledge the Pope."

"And why not acknowledge him? You have no god-mothers, then, that you want to marry; for, I am told it is he that grants this permission."

"And why not recognize him? You don’t have any fairy godmothers you want to marry, right? Because I’ve heard it’s he who gives that permission."

"Ah! sir, this Pope says, that he is master of the domains of kings."

"Ah! Sir, this Pope claims that he is the master of kings' territories."

"But, gentlemen, what religion are you of?"

"But, guys, what religion do you follow?"

"Why, sir, we are for the most part drapers and manufacturers."

"Well, sir, most of us are cloth merchants and manufacturers."

"If the Pope, then, is not the master of your clothes and manufactures, you do very well not to acknowledge him; but as to kings, it is their business, and why do you trouble yourselves about it?"

"If the Pope isn't in charge of your clothes and manufacturing, you’re right not to recognize him; but when it comes to kings, that's their responsibility, so why are you worrying about it?"

Here a little black man took up the argument, and very learnedly set forth the grievances of the company. He talked of the revocation of the edict of Nantes with so much energy; he deplored, in so pathetic a manner, the fate of fifty thousand fugitive families, and of fifty thousand others converted by dragoons; that the ingenuous Hercules could not refrain from shedding tears.

Here, a small Black man joined the discussion and eloquently expressed the group's grievances. He spoke with great passion about the revocation of the Edict of Nantes; he lamented, in such a heartfelt way, the plight of fifty thousand fleeing families and another fifty thousand who were forced to convert by soldiers, that the honest Hercules couldn’t help but cry.

"Whence arises it," said he, "that so great a king, whose renown expands itself even to the Hurons, should thus deprive himself of so many hearts that would have loved him, and so many arms that would have served him."

"Where does it come from," he said, "that such a great king, whose fame reaches even the Hurons, would choose to deprive himself of so many hearts that would have loved him, and so many hands that would have served him?"

"Because he has been imposed upon, like other great kings," replied the little orator, "He has been made to believe, that as soon as he utters a word, all people think as he does; and that he can make us change our religion, just as his musician Lulli, in a moment, changes the decorations of his opera. He has not only already lost five or six hundred thousand very useful subjects, but he has turned many of them into enemies; and King William, who is at this time master of England, has formed several regiments of these identical Frenchmen, who would otherwise have fought for their monarch.

"Because he's been misled, like other great kings," replied the little speaker, "He's been made to think that as soon as he says something, everyone will see things his way; that he can make us change our religion, just like his musician Lulli can instantly change the set design of his opera. He’s not only lost five or six hundred thousand very useful subjects, but he's also turned many of them into enemies; and King William, who is currently in charge of England, has formed several regiments of those same Frenchmen, who would have otherwise fought for their king."

"Such a disaster is more astonishing, as the present Pope, to whom Louis XIV. sacrifices a part of his people, is his declared enemy. A violent quarrel has subsisted between them for nearly nine years. It has been carried so far, that France was in hopes of at length casting off the yoke, by which it has been kept in subjection for so many ages to this foreigner, and, more particularly, of not giving him any more money, which is the primum mobile of the affairs of this world. It, therefore, appears evident, that this great king has been imposed on, as well with respect to his interest, as the extent of his power, and that even the magnanimity of his heart has been struck at."

"Such a disaster is even more surprising because the current Pope, to whom Louis XIV sacrifices part of his people, is his declared enemy. They have been in a bitter feud for nearly nine years. It has gotten to the point where France hoped to finally break free from the control that has kept it subjugated for so long to this foreigner, and especially to stop giving him any more money, which is the driving force behind the affairs of this world. Therefore, it seems clear that this great king has been misled, both in terms of his interests and the reach of his power, and that even the nobility of his heart has been affected."

The Huron, becoming more and more interested, asked:

The Huron, growing increasingly curious, asked:

"Who were the Frenchmen who thus deceived a monarch so dear to the Hurons?"

"Who were the Frenchmen that tricked a monarch so cherished by the Hurons?"

"They are the Jesuits," he was answered, "and, particularly, Father la Chaise, the kings confessor. It is to be hoped that God will one day punish them for it, and that they will be driven out, as they now drive us. Can any misfortune equal ours? Mons. de Louvois besets us on all sides with Jesuits and dragoons."

"They're the Jesuits," he was told, "and specifically, Father la Chaise, the king's confessor. We can only hope that God will one day punish them for this, and that they'll be forced out, just as they now force us out. Is there any misfortune that can match ours? Mons. de Louvois is attacking us from all sides with Jesuits and soldiers."

"Well gentlemen," replied the Huron, "I am going to Versailles to receive the recompense due to my services; I will speak to Mons. de Louvois. I am told it is he who makes war from his closet. I shall see the king, and I will acquaint him with the truth. It is impossible not to yield to this truth, when it is felt. I shall return very soon to marry Miss St. Yves, and I beg you will be present at our nuptials."

"Well, gentlemen," replied the Huron, "I'm heading to Versailles to get the reward for my services; I'll talk to Mr. de Louvois. I've heard he's the one who runs the war from his office. I will see the king, and I'll let him know the truth. It’s hard not to accept the truth when you experience it. I'll be back very soon to marry Miss St. Yves, and I hope you will be there for our wedding."

These good people now took him for some great Lord, who traveled incognito in the coach. Some took him for the king's fool.

These kind people now considered him to be some important Lord traveling incognito in the carriage. Some thought he was the king's jester.

There was at table a disguised Jesuit, who acted as a spy to the Reverend Father de la Chaise. He gave him an account of everything that passed, and Father de la Chaise reported it to M. de Louvois. The spy wrote. The Huron and the letter arrived almost at the same time at Versailles.

There was a disguised Jesuit at the table who acted as a spy for Father de la Chaise. He reported everything that happened to him, and Father de la Chaise passed it on to M. de Louvois. The spy wrote. The Huron and the letter arrived at Versailles almost simultaneously.


IX.

THE HURON'S ARRIVAL AT VERSAILLES. HIS WELCOME AT COURT.

The ingenuous Hercules was set down from a public carriage, in the court of the kitchens. He asks the chairmen, what hour the king can be seen? The chairmen laugh in his face, just as the English Admiral had done: and he treated them in the same manner—he beat them. They were for retaliation, and the scene had like to have proved bloody, if a soldier, who was a gentleman of Britany, had not passed by, and who dispersed the mob.

The naive Hercules was dropped off by a public carriage in the kitchen courtyard. He asked the porters what time he could see the king. The porters laughed at him, just like the English Admiral had done, and he responded in the same way—he fought them. They wanted to fight back, and the situation almost turned violent if a soldier, who was a gentleman from Brittany, hadn't walked by and broken up the crowd.

"Sir," said the traveler to him, "you appear to me to be a brave man. I am nephew to the Prior of our Lady of the Mountain. I have killed Englishmen, and I am come to speak to the king. I beg you will conduct me to his chamber."

"Sir," the traveler said to him, "you seem like a brave man. I’m the nephew of the Prior of Our Lady of the Mountain. I have killed Englishmen, and I've come to speak to the king. Please, will you take me to his chamber?"

The soldier, delighted to find a man of courage from his province, who did not seem acquainted with the customs of the court, told him it was necessary to be presented to M. de Louvois.

The soldier, happy to meet a brave man from his area who didn’t seem to know the court customs, told him he needed to be introduced to M. de Louvois.

"Very well, then, conduct me to M. de Louvois, who will doubtless conduct me to the king."

"Alright then, take me to M. de Louvois, who will surely take me to the king."

"It is more difficult to speak to M. de Louvois than the king. But I will conduct you to Mr. Alexander, first commissioner of war, and this will be just the same as if you spoke to the minister."

"It’s harder to talk to M. de Louvois than to the king. But I will take you to Mr. Alexander, the first commissioner of war, and that will be just like speaking to the minister."

They accordingly repair to Mr. Alexander's, who is first clerk, but they cannot be introduced, he being closely engaged in business with a lady of the court, and no person is allowed admittance.

They go to Mr. Alexander's place, where he is the head clerk, but they can't be introduced because he's busy with a lady from the court, and nobody is allowed in.

"Well," said the soldier, "there is no harm done, let us go to Mr. Alexander's first clerk. This will be just the same as if you spoke to Mr. Alexander himself."

"Well," said the soldier, "it's all good, let’s go to Mr. Alexander's head clerk. This will be just like talking to Mr. Alexander himself."

The Huron quite astonished, followed him. They remained together half an hour in a little anti-chamber.

The Huron, quite surprised, followed him. They stayed together for half an hour in a small anteroom.

"What is all this?" said the ingenuous Hercules. "Is all the world invisible in this country? It is much easier to fight in Lower Britany against Englishmen, than to meet with people at Versailles, with whom one hath business."

"What’s going on here?" said the naive Hercules. "Is everyone in this country invisible? It's way easier to fight Englishmen in Lower Brittany than to find people at Versailles with whom I have business."

He amused himself for some time with relating his amours to his countryman; but the clock striking, recalled the soldier to his post, when a mutual promise was given of meeting on the morrow.

He entertained himself for a while by sharing his romantic escapades with his fellow countryman; however, when the clock struck, it reminded the soldier to return to his post, and they both promised to meet again the next day.

The Huron remained another half hour in the anti-chamber, meditating upon Miss St. Yves, and the difficulty of speaking to kings and first clerks.

The Huron stayed in the waiting room for another half hour, thinking about Miss St. Yves and the challenge of talking to kings and top officials.

At length the patron appeared.

Finally, the patron showed up.

"Sir," said the ingenuous Hercules, "If I had waited to repulse the English as long as you have made me wait for my audience, they would certainly have ravaged all Lower Britany without opposition."

"Sir," said the straightforward Hercules, "If I had waited to push back the English as long as you've made me wait for my turn to speak, they definitely would have overrun all of Lower Britany without any resistance."

These words impressed the clerk. He at length said to the inhabitant of Britany, "What is your request?"

These words impressed the clerk. He finally said to the resident of Brittany, "What do you need?"

"A recompense," said the other: "these are my titles;" showing his certificates.

"A reward," said the other, "these are my credentials;" showing his certificates.

The clerk read, and told him, "that probably he might obtain leave to purchase a lieutenancy."

The clerk read and told him, "that he might be able to get permission to buy a lieutenancy."

"Me? what, must I pay money for having repulsed the English? Must I pay a tax to be killed for you, whilst you are peaceably giving your audience here? You are certainly jesting. I require a company of cavalry for nothing. I require that the king shall set Miss St. Yves at liberty from the convent, and give her to me in marriage. I want to speak to the king in favor of fifty thousand families, whom I propose restoring to him. In a word, I want to be useful. Let me be employed and advanced."

"Me? What, do I have to pay for stopping the English? Do I need to pay a tax to be killed for you while you're calmly addressing your audience here? You're definitely joking. I need a cavalry unit for free. I need the king to release Miss St. Yves from the convent and give her to me in marriage. I want to talk to the king about fifty thousand families, whom I plan to restore to him. In short, I want to be useful. Let me be put to work and promoted."

"What is your name, sir, who talk in such a high style?"

"What’s your name, sir, who speaks in such an elevated way?"

"Oh! oh!" answered the Huron; "you have not then read my certificates? This is the way they are treated. My name is Hercules de Kerkabon. I am christened, and I lodge at the Blue Dial." The clerk concluded, like the people at Saumur, that his head was turned, and did not pay him any further attention.

"Oh! oh!" replied the Huron; "you haven't read my certificates? This is how I'm treated. My name is Hercules de Kerkabon. I was baptized, and I stay at the Blue Dial." The clerk concluded, like the people in Saumur, that he was out of his mind, and didn’t pay him any more attention.

The same day, the Reverend Father de la Chaise, confessor to Louis XIV., received his spy's letter, which accused the Breton Kerkabon of favoring in his heart the Huguenots, and condemning the conduct of the Jesuits. M. de Louvois had, on his side, received a letter from the inquisitive bailiff, which depicted the Huron as a wicked, lewd fellow, inclined to burn convents, and carry off the nuns.

The same day, Father de la Chaise, Louis XIV's confessor, got a letter from his spy accusing the Breton Kerkabon of secretly supporting the Huguenots and criticizing the Jesuits' actions. M. de Louvois had also received a letter from the curious bailiff, describing the Huron as a wicked and sexually immoral person who was likely to burn down convents and abduct the nuns.

Hercules, after having walked in the gardens of Versailles, which had become irksome to him; after having supped like a native of Huronia and Lower Britany: had gone to rest, in the pleasant hope of seeing the king the next day; of obtaining Miss St. Yves in marriage; of having, at least, a company of cavalry; and of setting aside the persecution against the Huguenots. He was rocking himself asleep with these flattering ideas, when the Marechaussée entered his chamber, and seized upon his double-charged fusee and his great sabre.

Hercules, after strolling through the gardens of Versailles, which had become tedious for him; after dining like a local from Huronia and Lower Brittany; had gone to bed, filled with the hopeful anticipation of seeing the king the next day, marrying Miss St. Yves, having at least a unit of cavalry, and putting an end to the persecution of the Huguenots. He was lulling himself to sleep with these enticing thoughts when the Marechaussée entered his room and confiscated his double-barreled rifle and his large sabre.

They took an inventory of his ready money, and then conducted him to the castle erected by King Charles V., son to John II., near the street of St. Antoine, at the gate des Tournelles.

They counted his cash and then escorted him to the castle built by King Charles V, son of John II, near St. Antoine Street, at the Tournelles Gate.

What was the Huron's astonishment in his way thither the reader is left to imagine. He at first fancied it was all a dream; and remained for some time in a state of stupefaction. Presently, transported with rage, that gave him more than common strength, he collared two of his conductors who were with him in the coach, flung them out of the door, cast himself after them, and then dragged the third, who wanted to hold him. He fell in the attempt, when they tied him, and replaced him in the carriage.

What the Huron felt on his way there is something the reader can only imagine. At first, he thought it was all a dream and stayed in a daze for a while. Soon, filled with rage that gave him unusual strength, he grabbed two of his companions who were with him in the coach, threw them out the door, jumped after them, and then pulled the third one who tried to stop him. He fell while trying, and they tied him up and put him back in the carriage.

"This, then," said he, "is what one gets for driving the English out of Lower Britany! What wouldst thou say, charming Miss St. Yves, if thou didst see me in this situation?"

"This, then," he said, "is what you get for driving the English out of Lower Brittany! What would you say, charming Miss St. Yves, if you saw me in this situation?"

They at length arrived at the place of their destination. He was carried without any noise into the chamber in which he was to be locked up, like a dead corpse going to the grave. This room was already occupied by an old solitary student of Port Royal, named Gordon, who had been languishing here for two years.

They finally arrived at their destination. He was quietly carried into the room where he would be locked up, like a lifeless body being taken to the grave. This room was already occupied by an old solitary student from Port Royal, named Gordon, who had been stuck here for two years.

"See," said the chief of the Marechaussée, "here is company I bring you;" and immediately the enormous bolts of this strong door, secured with large iron bars, were fastened upon them. These two captives were thus separated from all the universe besides.

"Look," said the head of the Marechaussée, "here's the company I’m bringing you;" and right away, the heavy bolts of this sturdy door, secured with thick iron bars, were locked on them. These two captives were then cut off from the rest of the world.


X.

THE HURON IS LOCKED UP IN THE BASTILLE WITH A JANSENIST.

Mr. Gordon was a healthy old man, of a serene disposition, who was acquainted with two great things; the one was, to bear adversity; the other, to console the afflicted. He approached his companion with an open sympathizing air, and said to him, whilst he embraced him:

Mr. Gordon was a healthy old man with a calm demeanor who understood two important things: one was how to endure hardship, and the other was how to comfort those in pain. He approached his friend with a warm, understanding attitude and said to him, while giving him a hug:

"Whoever thou art that is come to partake of my grave, be assured, that I shall constantly forget myself to soften thy torments in the infernal abyss where we are plunged. Let us adore Providence that has conducted us here. Let us suffer in peace, and trust in hope."

"Whoever you are that has come to share my grave, be assured that I will always forget myself to ease your suffering in the hellish abyss where we are trapped. Let’s praise Providence that has brought us here. Let’s endure in peace and hold onto hope."

These words had the same effect upon the youth as cordial drops, which recall a dying person to life, and show to his astonished eyes a glimpse of light.

These words had the same effect on the young man as a dose of medicine that brings a dying person back to life, revealing a flicker of light to his amazed eyes.

After the first compliments were over, Gordon, without urging him to relate the cause of his misfortune, inspired him by the sweetness of his discourse and by that interest which two unfortunate persons share with each other, with a desire of opening his heart and of disburdening himself of the weight which oppressed him; but he could not guess the cause of his misfortune, and the good man Gordon was as much astonished as himself.

After the initial compliments ended, Gordon, without prompting him to explain the reason for his troubles, encouraged him with the warmth of his words and the bond that two unfortunate people share, making him want to open up and release the burden he carried. However, he couldn't figure out the reason for his misfortune, and the kind-hearted Gordon was just as surprised as he was.

"God must, doubtless," said the Jansenist to the Huron, "have great designs upon you, since he conducted you from Lake Ontario into England, from thence to France; caused you to be baptized in Lower Britany, and has now lodged you here for your salvation."

"God must have some big plans for you," said the Jansenist to the Huron, "since he brought you from Lake Ontario to England, and then to France; had you baptized in Lower Brittany, and has now placed you here for your salvation."

"I' faith," replied Hercules, "I believe the devil alone has interfered in my destiny.[1] My countrymen in America would never have treated me with the barbarity that I have here experienced; they have not the least idea of it. They are called savages;—they are good people, but rustic, and the men of this country are refined villains. I am indeed, greatly surprised to have come from another world, to be shut up in this, under four bolts with a priest; but I consider what an infinite number of men set out from one hemisphere to go and get killed in the other, or are cast away in the voyage, and are eaten by the fishes. I cannot discover the gracious designs of God over all these people."

"I'm telling you," Hercules replied, "I truly believe the devil alone has messed with my fate.[1] My fellow countrymen in America would never have treated me with the brutality I've experienced here; they have no idea of it. They're called savages; they’re good people, just a bit rough around the edges, while the men in this country are sophisticated villains. I'm honestly shocked to have come from another world, only to be confined here, under four locks with a priest; but I think about how countless men leave one hemisphere only to get killed in the other, or are lost at sea and end up as fish food. I can't see the kind intentions of God towards all these people."

Their dinner was brought them through a wicket. The conversation turned upon Providence, lettres de cachet, and upon the art of not sinking under disgrace, to which all men in this world are exposed.

Their dinner was brought to them through a small door. The conversation shifted to topics like Providence, lettres de cachet, and the skill of not succumbing to disgrace, which all men face in this world.

"It is now two years since I have been here," said the old man, "without any other consolation than myself and books; and yet I have never been a single moment out of temper."

"It has been two years since I arrived here," said the old man, "with no other comfort than myself and books; and yet I haven't been in a bad mood for even a moment."

"Ah! Mr. Gordon," cried Hercules, "you are not then in love with your god-mother. If you were as well acquainted with Miss St. Yves as I am, you would be in a state of desperation."

"Ah! Mr. Gordon," shouted Hercules, "you're not actually in love with your godmother. If you knew Miss St. Yves as well as I do, you'd be in total despair."

At these words he could not refrain from tears, which greatly relieved him from his oppression.

At these words, he couldn't hold back his tears, which really helped lift the weight off his shoulders.

"How is it then that tears solace us?" said the Huron, "It seems to me that they should have quite an opposite effect."

"How is it that tears comfort us?" said the Huron, "It seems to me they should have the opposite effect."

"My son," said the good old man, "every thing is physical about us; all secretions are useful to the body, and all that comforts it, comforts the soul. We are the machines of Providence."

"My son," said the good old man, "everything about us is physical; all secretions are beneficial to the body, and anything that comforts the body also comforts the soul. We are the machines of Providence."

The ingenuous Huron, who, as we have already observed more than once, had a great share of understanding, entered deeply into the consideration of this idea, the seeds whereof appeared to be in himself. After which he asked his companion.

The naive Huron, who we’ve already noted several times had a good level of understanding, really thought about this idea, which seemed to come from within him. After that, he asked his friend.

"Why his machine had for two years been confined by four bolts?"

"Why had his machine been held in place by four bolts for two years?"

"By effectual grace," answered Gordon; "I pass for a Jansenist; I know Arnaud and Nicole; the Jesuits have persecuted us. We believe that the Pope is nothing more than a bishop, like another, and therefore Father la Chaise has obtained from the king, his penitent, an order for robbing me without any form of justice, of the most precious inheritance of man—liberty!"

"By effective grace," Gordon replied; "I’m seen as a Jansenist; I know Arnaud and Nicole; the Jesuits have persecuted us. We believe that the Pope is nothing more than just another bishop, so Father la Chaise has convinced the king, his penitent, to issue an order to take from me, without any form of justice, the most valuable inheritance of mankind—liberty!"

"This is very strange," said the Huron, "all the unhappy people I have met with have been made so solely by the Pope. With respect to your effectual grace, I acknowledge I do not understand what you mean. But I consider it as a very great favor, that God has let me, in my misfortunes, meet with a man, who pours into my heart such consolation as I thought myself incapable of receiving."

"This is really odd," said the Huron, "all the unhappy people I've come across have been made so solely by the Pope. Regarding your effective grace, I admit I don't understand what you mean. But I see it as a great blessing that God has allowed me, in my misfortunes, to meet a man who brings me such comfort that I thought I couldn't receive."

The conversation became each day more interesting and instructive. The souls of the two captives seemed to unite in one body. The old man had acquired knowledge, and the young man was willing to receive instruction. At the end of the first month, he eagerly applied himself to the study of geometry. Gordon made him read Rohault's Physics, which book was still in fashion, and he had good sense enough to find in it nothing but doubts and uncertainties.

The conversation grew more interesting and educational each day. The souls of the two captives seemed to merge into one. The old man had gained knowledge, and the young man was eager to learn. By the end of the first month, he was excited to dive into studying geometry. Gordon had him read Rohault's Physics, which was still popular, but he was smart enough to realize that it contained nothing but doubts and uncertainties.

He afterward read the first volume of the Enquiry After Truth. This instructive work gave him new light.

He later read the first volume of the Enquiry After Truth. This insightful work gave him new understanding.

"What!" said he, "do our imagination and our senses deceive us to that degree? What, are not our ideas formed by objects, and can we not acquire them by ourselves?"

"What!" he exclaimed, "are our imagination and senses deceiving us this much? What, aren’t our ideas shaped by objects, and can’t we form them ourselves?"

When he had gone through the second volume, he was not so well satisfied; and he concluded it was much easier to destroy than to build.

When he finished the second volume, he wasn't as satisfied; he realized it was much easier to tear down than to create.

His colleague, astonished that a young ignoramus should make such a remark, conceived a very high opinion of his understanding, and was more strongly attached to him.

His colleague, shocked that a young clueless person would say something like that, developed a very high opinion of his understanding and felt even more strongly connected to him.

"Your Malebranche," said he to Gordon one day, "seems to have written half his book whilst he was in possession of his reason, and the other half with the assistance only of imagination and prejudice."

"Your Malebranche," he said to Gordon one day, "seems to have written half his book while he was in his right mind, and the other half only with the help of imagination and bias."

Some days after, Gordon asked him what he thought of the soul, and the manner in which we receive our ideas of volition, grace, and free agency.

Some days later, Gordon asked him what he thought about the soul and how we get our ideas about will, grace, and free agency.

"Nothing," replied the Huron. "If I think sometimes, it is that we are under the power of the Eternal Being, like the stars and the elements—that he operates everything in us—that we are small wheels of the immense machine, of which he is the soul—that he acts according to general laws, and not from particular views. This is all that appears to me intelligible; all the rest is to me a dark abyss."

"Nothing," replied the Huron. "Sometimes I think that we're under the influence of the Eternal Being, just like the stars and the elements—that He drives everything within us—that we are just small parts of the vast machine, of which He is the soul—that He operates according to universal laws and not specific intentions. This is the only thing I find understandable; everything else feels like a dark abyss to me."

"But this, my son, would be making God the author of sin!"

"But this, my son, would mean making God the author of sin!"

"But, father, your effectual grace would equally make him the author of sin; for certainly all those to whom this grace was refused, would sin; and is not an all-powerful being who permits evil, virtually the author of evil?"

"But, Dad, your effective grace would also make Him the author of sin; because clearly, everyone who was denied this grace would sin; and isn’t an all-powerful being who allows evil essentially the author of evil?"

This sincerity greatly embarrassed the good man; he found that all his endeavors to extricate himself from this quagmire were ineffectual; and he heaped such quantities of words upon one another, which seemed to have meaning, but which in fact had none, that the Huron could not help pitying him. This question evidently determined the origin of good and evil; and poor Gordon was reduced to the necessity of recurring to Pandora's box—Oromasdes's egg pierced by Arimanes—the enmity between Typhon and Osiris—and, at last, original sin; and these he huddled together in profound darkness, without their throwing the least glimmering light upon one another. However, this romance of the soul diverted their thoughts from the contemplation of their own misery; and, by a strange magic, the multitude of calamities dispersed throughout the world diminished the sensation of their own miseries. They did not dare complain when all mankind was in a state of sufferance.

This honesty made the good man really uncomfortable; he realized that all his attempts to get out of this mess were useless. He piled up so many words that seemed meaningful but were actually empty, that the Huron couldn't help but feel sorry for him. This question was clearly about the origins of good and evil, and poor Gordon had to fall back on concepts like Pandora's box, Oromasdes's egg pricked by Arimanes, the conflict between Typhon and Osiris, and ultimately, original sin. He mixed them all together in deep confusion, without any of them shedding even a bit of light on one another. However, this complex discussion distracted them from thinking about their own suffering, and, strangely, the sheer number of disasters around the world lessened their awareness of their own struggles. They didn't feel right complaining when all of humanity was suffering.

But in the repose of night, the image of the charming Miss St. Yves effaced from the mind of her lover every metaphysical and moral idea. He awoke with his eyes bathed in tears; and the old Jansenist forgot his effectual grace, and the Abbé of St. Cyran, and even Jansenius himself, to afford consolation to a youth whom he had judged guilty of a mortal sin.

But in the quiet of the night, the image of the lovely Miss St. Yves wiped away all philosophical and moral thoughts from her lover's mind. He woke up with tears in his eyes; and the old Jansenist forgot about his idea of effective grace, the Abbé of St. Cyran, and even Jansenius himself, just to comfort a young man he had considered guilty of a serious sin.

After these lectures and their reasonings were over, their adventures furnished them with subjects of conversation; after this store was exhausted, they read together, or separately. The Huron's understanding daily increased; and he would certainly have made great progress in mathematics, if the thought of Miss St. Yves had not frequently distracted him.

After these lectures and discussions were done, their experiences gave them things to talk about; once that topic was used up, they read together or separately. The Huron's understanding grew every day; he would have definitely made significant strides in mathematics if thoughts of Miss St. Yves hadn’t often distracted him.

He read histories, which made him melancholy. The world appeared to him too wicked and too miserable. In fact, history is nothing more than a picture of crimes and misfortunes. The crowd of innocent and peaceable men are always invisible upon this vast theatre. The dramatis personæ are composed of ambitious, perverse men. The pleasure which history affords is derived from the same source as tragedy, which would languish and become insipid, were it not inspired with strong passions, great events, and piteous misfortunes. Clio must be armed with a poniard as well as Melpomene.

He read history, which made him feel sad. The world seemed to him too evil and too miserable. In fact, history is just a depiction of crimes and disasters. The many innocent and peaceful people are always invisible on this grand stage. The dramatis personæ consist of ambitious, twisted individuals. The enjoyment that history offers comes from the same place as tragedy, which would fade and become dull without strong emotions, significant events, and heartbreaking misfortunes. Clio must be equipped with a dagger just like Melpomene.

Though the history of France is not less filled with horror than those of other nations, it nevertheless appeared to him so disgusting in the beginning, so dry in the continuation, and so trifling in the end, (even in the time of Henry IV.); ever destitute of grand monuments, or foreign to those fine discoveries which have illustrated other nations; that he was obliged to resolve upon not being tired, in order to go through all the particulars of obscure calamities confined to a little corner of the world.

Though the history of France is just as filled with horrors as that of other nations, it still seemed to him so unpleasant at first, so dull as it went on, and so trivial in the end (even during the time of Henry IV.)—always lacking in grand monuments or the remarkable discoveries that have highlighted other nations—that he had to force himself not to get bored while going through all the details of minor misfortunes confined to a small corner of the world.

Gordon thought like him. They both laughed with pity when they read of the sovereigns of Fezensacs, Fesansaguet, and Astrac: such a study could be relished only by their heirs, if they had any. The brilliant ages of the Roman Republic made him sometimes quite indifferent as to any other part of the globe. The spectacle of victorious Rome, the lawgiver of nations, engrossed his whole soul. He glowed in contemplating a people who were governed for seven hundred years by the enthusiasm of liberty and glory.

Gordon thought like him. They both laughed with pity when they read about the rulers of Fezensacs, Fesansaguet, and Astrac: only their descendants, if they had any, could enjoy such a study. The glorious times of the Roman Republic sometimes made him totally indifferent to any other part of the world. The sight of victorious Rome, the lawmaker of nations, consumed his entire being. He felt energized thinking about a people who were governed for seven hundred years by the spirit of freedom and glory.

Thus rolled days, weeks, and months; and he would have thought himself happy in the sanctuary of despair, if he had not loved.

Thus passed the days, weeks, and months; and he might have believed he was happy in the comfort of despair, if he hadn't been in love.

The natural goodness of his heart was softened still more when he reflected upon the Prior of our Lady of the Mountain, and the sensible Kerkabon.

The natural kindness of his heart became even warmer when he thought about the Prior of Our Lady of the Mountain and the wise Kerkabon.

"What must they think," he would often repeat, "when they can get no tidings of me? They must think me an ungrateful wretch." This idea rendered him inconsolable. He pitied those who loved him much more than he pitied himself.

"What must they think," he would often repeat, "when they can't get any news about me? They must think I'm an ungrateful jerk." This thought made him utterly miserable. He felt sorry for those who cared about him far more than he felt sorry for himself.

[1] In the play called Civilization, Hercules uses the following language:

[1] In the play titled Civilization, Hercules says the following:

"In my barbarian days, I spoke the truth:
Wrong'd not my neighbor: paid back benefits,
With benefit and gratitude to boot;
Dealt justly: held a friend to be a gift,
Precious as stars dropt down from heaven: bowed
Before the works of God: beheld in them
His presence, palpable, as at an altar:
And worshipp'd heaven at the mountain's foot.
But this
Was Barbarism, I am wiser now;
More civilized. I know the way to lie,
To cheat, deceive, and be a zealous Christian!"—E.

"Back in my wild days, I spoke the truth:"
I never did anything wrong to my neighbor; I repaid favors,
With that said, I am grateful;
I acted fairly; I saw a friend as a valuable treasure,
As precious as stars falling from the sky: I bowed.
Before the works of God, I acknowledged them.
His presence was as real as being at an altar:
And I worshipped the sky at the base of the mountain.
But this
Was savage; I’m wiser now;
More sophisticated. I know how to deceive,
"To cheat, deceive, and be a committed Christian!"—E.


XI.

HOW THE HURON REVEALS HIS TALENT.

Reading aggrandizes the soul, and an enlightened friend affords consolation. Our captive had these two advantages in his favor which he had never expected.

Reading enriches the soul, and a wise friend offers comfort. Our captive had these two unexpected advantages on his side.

"I shall begin to believe in the Metamorphoses," said he, "for I have been transformed from a brute into a man."

"I’m starting to believe in the Metamorphoses," he said, "because I’ve been changed from a beast into a human."

He formed a chosen library with part of the money which he was allowed to dispose of. His friend encouraged him to commit to writing such observations as occurred to him. These are his notes upon ancient history:

He created a curated library with some of the money he was permitted to use. His friend motivated him to write down any thoughts that came to him. Here are his notes on ancient history:

"I imagine that nations were for a long time like myself; that they did not become enlightened till very late; that for many ages they were occupied with nothing but the present moment which elapsed: that they thought very little of what was past, and never of the future. I have traversed five or six hundred leagues in Canada, and I did not meet with a single monument: no one is the least acquainted with the actions of his predecessors. Is not this the natural state of man? The human species of this continent appears to me superior to that of the other. They have extended their being for many ages by arts and knowledge. Is this because they have beards upon their chins and God has refused this ornament to the Americans? I do not believe it; for I find the Chinese have very little beard, and that they have cultivated arts for upwards of five thousand years. In effect, if their annals go back upwards of four thousand years, the nation must necessarily have been united and in a flourishing state more than five hundred centuries.

"I think nations were like me for a long time; they didn't become aware and enlightened until much later. For ages, they were focused only on the present moment, giving little thought to the past and none to the future. I've traveled five or six hundred leagues in Canada and didn't see a single monument; no one knows anything about the actions of those who came before them. Isn't this the natural state of humanity? The people on this continent seem superior to those on others. They've built their existence over many ages through arts and knowledge. Is it because they have facial hair and God has denied this feature to the Americans? I don't think so, because the Chinese have very little facial hair, yet they've cultivated arts for over five thousand years. Indeed, if their records date back more than four thousand years, then that nation must have been united and thriving for over five hundred centuries."

"One thing particularly strikes me in this ancient history of China, which is, that almost every thing is probable and natural. I admire it because it is not tinctured with anything of the marvelous.

"One thing that stands out to me in this ancient history of China is that almost everything feels likely and natural. I appreciate it because it isn't filled with anything fantastical."

"Why have all other nations adopted fabulous origins? The ancient chronicles of the history of France, which, by the by, are not very ancient, make the French descend from one Francus, the son of Hector. The Romans said they were the issue of a Phrygian, though there was not in their whole language a single word that had the least connection with the language of Phrygia. The gods had inhabited Egypt for ten thousand years, and the devils Scythia, where they had engendered the Huns. I meet with nothing before Thucydides but romances similar to the Amadis, and far less amusing. Apparitions, oracles, prodigies, sorcery, metamorphoses, are interspersed throughout with the explanation of dreams, which are the bases of the destiny of the greatest empires and the smallest states. Here are speaking beasts, there brutes that are adored, gods transformed into men, and men into gods. If we must have fables, let us, at least, have such as appear the emblem of truth. I admire the fables of philosophers, but I laugh at those of children, and hate those of impostors."

"Why have all other nations claimed amazing origins? The ancient accounts of French history, which, by the way, aren’t very ancient, say that the French are descendants of a guy named Francus, who was the son of Hector. The Romans claimed they descended from a Phrygian, even though there wasn’t a single word in their entire language that had any connection to the language of Phrygia. The gods lived in Egypt for ten thousand years, and demons in Scythia, where they fathered the Huns. Before Thucydides, I come across nothing but tales similar to Amadis, and much less entertaining. Ghosts, oracles, marvels, witchcraft, transformations are mixed in with dream interpretations, which supposedly shape the fate of the greatest empires and the smallest states. Here, animals talk; there, beasts are worshipped; gods become men, and men become gods. If we have to have fables, let’s at least have ones that represent some truth. I admire the fables of philosophers, but I laugh at those for children and despise those from frauds."

He one day hit upon a history of the Emperor Justinian. It was there related, that some Appedeutes of Constantinople had delivered, in very bad Greek, an edict against the greatest captain of the age, because this hero had uttered the following words in the warmth of conversation: "Truth shines forth with its proper light, and people's minds are not illumined with flaming piles." The Appedeutes declared that this proposition was heretical, bordering upon heresy, and that the contrary action was catholic, universal, and Grecian: "The minds of the people are enlightened but with flaming piles, and truth cannot shine forth with its own light." These Linostolians thus condemned several discourses of the captain, and published an edict.

He one day came across a history of Emperor Justinian. It was mentioned there that some officials from Constantinople had issued an edict in really poor Greek against the greatest military leader of the time, simply because this hero had said, in a heated moment: "Truth shines with its own light, and people's minds aren’t lit up by raging flames." The officials claimed that this statement was heretical, nearly bordering on blasphemy, while believing that the opposite idea was orthodox, universal, and Greek: "The minds of the people are only enlightened by raging flames, and truth cannot shine with its own light." These officials then condemned several speeches by the leader and published an edict.

"What!" said the Huron, with much emotion, "shall such people publish edicts?"

"What!" exclaimed the Huron, clearly upset. "Can people like that really issue decrees?"

"They are not edicts," replied Gordon: "they are contradictions, which all the world laughed at in Constantinople, and the Emperor the first. He was a wise prince, who knew how to reduce the Linostolian Appedeutes to a state incapable of doing anything but good. He knew that these gentlemen, and several other Pastophores, had tired the patience of the Emperors, his predecessors, with contradictions in more serious matters."

"They're not orders," Gordon replied. "They're contradictions that everyone laughed at in Constantinople, including the Emperor himself. He was a wise ruler who knew how to make the Linostolian Appedeutes incapable of doing anything but good. He understood that these gentlemen, along with some other Pastophores, had worn out the patience of the Emperors before him with contradictions in much more serious matters."

"He did quite right," said the Huron, "the Pastophores should not be supported, but constrained."

"He was absolutely right," said the Huron, "the Pastophores shouldn’t be supported, but restrained."

He committed several other observations to paper, which astonished old Gordon. "What," said he to himself, "have I consumed fifty years in instruction and not attained to the degree of natural good sense of this child, who is almost a savage? I tremble to think I have so arduously strengthened prejudices, and he listens to simple nature only."

He wrote down several other observations that amazed old Gordon. "What," he thought to himself, "have I spent fifty years teaching and not reached the common sense of this child, who is practically a savage? I shudder to think I’ve worked so hard to reinforce prejudices while he just follows simple nature."

The good man had some little books of criticism, some of those periodical pamphlets wherein men, incapable of producing anything themselves, blacken the productions of others; where a Vise insults a Racine, and a Faidit a Fénelon. The Huron ran over some of them. "I compare them," said he, "to certain gnats that lodge their eggs in the nostrils of the finest horses, which do not, however, retard their speed."

The good man had a few small books of criticism, some of those pamphlets where people, who can’t create anything themselves, criticize the work of others; where a Vise insults a Racine, and a Faidit a Fénelon. The Huron skimmed through some of them. "I compare them," he said, "to certain gnats that lay their eggs in the nostrils of the finest horses, which do not, however, slow them down."

The two philosophers scarce deigned to cast their eyes upon these dregs of literature.

The two philosophers barely bothered to look at these low-quality works.

They soon after went through the elements of astronomy. The Huron sent for some globes: he was ravished at this great spectacle.

They soon went through the basics of astronomy. The Huron asked for some globes: he was thrilled by this amazing sight.

"How hard it is," said he, "that I should only begin to be acquainted with heaven, when the power of contemplating it is ravished from me! Jupiter and Saturn revolve in these immense spaces;—millions of suns illumine myriads of worlds; and, in this corner of the earth on which I am cast, there are beings that deprive me of seeing and studying those worlds to which my eye might reach, and even that in which God has placed me. The light created for the whole universe is lost to me. It was not hidden from me in the northern horizon, where I passed my infancy and youth. Without you, my dear Gordon, I should be annihilated."

"How difficult it is," he said, "that I should only start to discover heaven when the ability to contemplate it is taken away from me! Jupiter and Saturn move in these vast spaces; millions of suns light up countless worlds; and here, on this little piece of earth where I find myself, there are people who prevent me from seeing and exploring those worlds I could reach, including the one where God has placed me. The light meant for the entire universe is lost to me. It wasn’t hidden from me in the northern horizon, where I spent my childhood and youth. Without you, my dear Gordon, I would be completely lost."


XII.

THE HURON'S FEELINGS ABOUT THEATER PERFORMANCES.

The young Huron resembled one of those vigorous trees, which, languishing in an ungrateful soil, extend in a little time their roots and branches when transplanted to a more favorable spot; and it was very extraordinary that this favorable spot should be a prison.

The young Huron was like one of those strong trees that, struggling in poor soil, quickly spread their roots and branches when moved to a better location; and it was quite surprising that this better location was a prison.

Among the books which employed the leisure of the two captives were some poems and also translations of Greek tragedies, and some dramatic pieces in French. Those passages that dwelt on love communicated at once pleasure and pain to the soul of the Huron. They were but so many images of his dear Miss St. Yves. The fable of the two pigeons rent his heart: for he was far estranged from his tender dove.

Among the books that occupied the free time of the two captives were some poems, translations of Greek tragedies, and a few dramatic pieces in French. The sections that focused on love brought both pleasure and pain to the Huron's soul. They were just reflections of his beloved Miss St. Yves. The story of the two doves broke his heart: he was so far away from his gentle dove.

Molière enchanted him. He taught him the manners of Paris and of human nature.

Molière fascinated him. He showed him the ways of Paris and of human nature.

"To which of his comedies do you give the preference?"

"Which of his comedies do you prefer?"

"Doubtless to his Tartuffe."

"Surely to his Tartuffe."

"I am of your opinion," said Gordon; "it was a Tartuffe that flung me into this dungeon, and perhaps they were Tartuffes who have been the cause of your misfortunes."

"I agree with you," said Gordon; "it was a hypocrite that threw me into this dungeon, and maybe there are hypocrites who have caused your troubles."

"What do you think of these Greek tragedies?"

"What do you think about these Greek tragedies?"

"They are very good for Grecians."

"They are really great for Greeks."

But when he read the modern Iphigenia, Phædrus, Andromache, and Athalia, he was in ecstacy, he sighed, he wept,—and he learned them by heart, without having any such intention.

But when he read the modern Iphigenia, Phædrus, Andromache, and Athalia, he was in ecstasy, he sighed, he cried—and he memorized them without even planning to.

"Read Rodogune," said Gordon; "that is said to be a capital production; the other pieces which have given you so much pleasure, are trifles compared to this."

"Read Rodogune," said Gordon; "it's supposed to be an amazing work; the other pieces that you've enjoyed so much are just small potatoes compared to this."

The young man had scarce got through the first page, before he said, "This is not written by the same author."

The young man had barely gotten through the first page before he said, "This isn't written by the same author."

"How do you know it?"

"How do you know that?"

"I know nothing yet; but these lines neither touch my ear nor my heart."

"I don’t know anything yet, but these words don’t connect with me at all."

"O!" said Gordon, "the versification does not signify." The Huron asked, "What must I judge by then?"

"O!" said Gordon, "the way it's written doesn't matter." The Huron asked, "What should I base my judgment on then?"

After having read the piece very attentively without any other design than being pleased, he looked steadfastly at his friend with much astonishment, not knowing what to say. At length, being urged to give his opinion with respect to what he felt, this was the answer he made: "I understood very little of the beginning; the middle disgusted me; but the last scene greatly moved me, though there appears to me but little probability in it. I have no prejudices for or against any one, but I do not remember twenty lines, I, who recollect them all when they please me."

After reading the piece carefully, with no other goal than to enjoy it, he stared at his friend in surprise, unsure of what to say. Eventually, when prompted to share his thoughts on how he felt, he replied: "I barely understood the beginning; the middle frustrated me; but the last scene really affected me, even though it seems pretty unlikely. I have no biases for or against anyone, but I can't remember twenty lines, and I usually remember them all when I like them."

"This piece, nevertheless, passes for the best upon our stage."

"This play, however, is considered the best on our stage."

"If that be the case," said he, "it is perhaps like many people who are not worthy of the places they hold. After all, this is a matter of taste, and mine cannot yet be formed. I may be mistaken; but you know I am accustomed to say what I think or rather what I feel. I suspect that illusion, fashion, caprice, often warp the judgments of men."

"If that's the case," he said, "then it’s probably similar to many people who aren’t deserving of the positions they occupy. After all, this is a matter of taste, and I haven't formed mine yet. I might be wrong; but you know I’m used to saying what I think or, more accurately, what I feel. I suspect that illusion, trends, and whims often distort people's judgments."

Here he repeated some lines from Iphigenia, which he was full of; and though he declaimed but indifferently, he uttered them with such truth and emotion that he made the old Jansenist weep. He then read Cinna, which did not excite his tears, but his admiration.

Here, he recited some lines from Iphigenia, which he knew by heart; and even though his delivery was just okay, he expressed them with such sincerity and emotion that he brought the old Jansenist to tears. He then read Cinna, which didn't make him cry, but it filled him with admiration.


XIII.

THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES VISITS VERSAILLES.

Whilst the unfortunate Hercules was more enlightened than consoled; whilst his genius, so long stifled, unfolded itself with so much rapidity and strength; whilst nature, which was attaining a degree of perfection in him, avenged herself of the outrages of fortune; what became of the Prior, his good sister, and the beautiful recluse, Miss St. Yves? The first month they were uneasy, and the third they were immersed in sorrow. False conjectures, ill-grounded reports, alarmed them. At the end of six months, it was concluded he was dead. At length, Mr. and Miss Kerkabon learned, by a letter of ancient date, which one of the king's guards had written to Britany, that a young man resembling the Huron arrived one night at Versailles, but that since that time no one had heard him spoken of.

While the unfortunate Hercules was more enlightened than comforted; while his talent, long suppressed, burst forth with such speed and power; while nature, which was reaching a new level of perfection in him, took revenge on the misfortunes he endured; what happened to the Prior, his kind sister, and the beautiful recluse, Miss St. Yves? In the first month, they were anxious, and by the third month, they were steeped in grief. Erroneous assumptions and unfounded rumors troubled them. After six months, it was believed he had died. Eventually, Mr. and Miss Kerkabon learned from an old letter written by one of the king's guards to Brittany that a young man resembling the Huron had arrived one night at Versailles, but since then, no one had mentioned him again.

"Alas," said Miss Kerkabon, "our nephew has done some ridiculous thing, which has brought on some terrible consequences. He is young, a Low Breton, and cannot know how to behave at court. My dear brother, I never saw Versailles nor Paris; here is a fine opportunity, and we shall perhaps find our poor nephew. He is our brother's son, and it is our duty to assist him. Who knows? we may perhaps at length prevail upon him to become a sub-deacon when the fire of youth is somewhat abated. He was much inclined to the sciences. Do you recollect how he reasoned upon the Old and New Testaments? We are answerable for his soul. He was baptized at our instigation. His dear mistress Miss St. Yves does nothing but weep incessantly. Indeed, we must go to Paris. If he is concealed in any of those infamous houses of pleasure, which I have often heard of, we will get him out."

"Alas," said Miss Kerkabon, "our nephew has done something foolish that has led to serious consequences. He's young, a Low Breton, and doesn't know how to act at court. My dear brother, I've never seen Versailles or Paris; this is a great opportunity, and we might find our poor nephew. He is our brother's son, and it's our responsibility to help him. Who knows? We might eventually convince him to become a sub-deacon once the fire of youth has cooled a bit. He was quite interested in science. Do you remember how he discussed the Old and New Testaments? We are responsible for his soul. We had him baptized at our urging. His beloved mistress, Miss St. Yves, is constantly in tears. Indeed, we must go to Paris. If he's hiding in any of those infamous pleasure houses I've heard about, we'll get him out."

The Prior was affected at his sister's discourse. He went in search of the Bishop of St. Malo's, who had baptized the Huron, and requested his protection and advice. The Prelate approved of the journey. He gave the Prior letters of recommendation to Father la Chaise, the king's confessor, who was invested with the first dignity in the kingdom; to Harlai, the Archbishop of Paris, and to Bossuet, Bishop of Meaux.

The Prior was moved by his sister's talk. He sought out the Bishop of St. Malo, who had baptized the Huron, and asked for his support and guidance. The Bishop approved of the trip. He gave the Prior recommendation letters for Father la Chaise, the king's confessor, who held the highest position in the kingdom; for Harlai, the Archbishop of Paris; and for Bossuet, the Bishop of Meaux.

At length, the brother and sister set out; but when they came to Paris, they found themselves bewildered in a great labyrinth without clue or end. Their fortune was but middling, and they had occasion every day for carriages to pursue their discovery, which they could not accomplish.

At last, the brother and sister left; but when they arrived in Paris, they found themselves lost in a huge maze with no direction or end. Their luck was only average, and they needed carriages every day to continue their search, which they couldn’t succeed in.

The Prior waited upon the Reverend Father la Chaise; he was with Mademoiselle du Tron, and could not give audience to Priors. He went to the Archbishop's door: the Prelate was shut up with the beautiful Mademoiselle de Lesdiguières about church matters. He flew to the country house of the Bishop of Meaux: he was engaged in a close examination with Mademoiselle de Mauleon, of the mystery relating to Mademoiselle Guyon. At length, however, he gained access to these two prelates; they both declared they could not interfere with regard to his nephew, as he was not a sub-deacon.

The Prior waited to see Reverend Father la Chaise; he was with Mademoiselle du Tron and couldn’t meet with Priors. He went to the Archbishop's door: the Prelate was busy with the beautiful Mademoiselle de Lesdiguières discussing church matters. He rushed to the country house of the Bishop of Meaux, but he was deeply involved in a discussion with Mademoiselle de Mauleon about the mystery surrounding Mademoiselle Guyon. Finally, he was able to meet with these two bishops; they both said they couldn’t help regarding his nephew since he wasn’t a sub-deacon.

He at length saw the Jesuit, who received him with open arms, protesting he had always entertained the greatest private esteem for him, though he had never known him. He swore that his society had always been attached to the inhabitants of Lower Britany.

He finally saw the Jesuit, who welcomed him warmly, claiming he had always held him in high regard, even though they had never met. He insisted that his order had always been close to the people of Lower Brittany.

"But," said he, "has not your nephew the misfortune of being a Huguenot?"

"But," he said, "doesn't your nephew have the misfortune of being a Huguenot?"

"No, certainly, Reverend Father."

"No, of course, Father."

"May he not be a Jansenist?"

"Could he not be a Jansenist?"

"I can assure your Reverence, that he is scarce a Christian. It is about eleven months since he was christened."

"I can assure you, Your Reverence, that he is hardly a Christian. It has been about eleven months since he was baptized."

"This is very well;—we will take care of him. Is your benefice considerable?"

"This is great; we'll take care of him. Is your income substantial?"

"No, a very trifle, and our nephew costs us a great deal."

"No, just a small thing, and our nephew costs us a lot."

"Are there any Jansenists in your neighborhood? Take great care, my dear Mr. Prior, they are more dangerous than Huguenots, or even Atheists."

"Are there any Jansenists in your area? Be very careful, my dear Mr. Prior; they are more dangerous than Huguenots, or even atheists."

"My Reverend Father, we have none; it is not even known at our Lady of the Mountain what Jansenism is."

"My Reverend Father, we don't have any; it's not even known at our Lady of the Mountain what Jansenism is."

"So much the better; go, there is nothing I will not do for you."

"So much the better; go ahead, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

He dismissed the Prior in this affectionate manner, but thought no more about him.

He waved goodbye to the Prior in this friendly way, but didn't think about him again.

Time slipped away, and the Prior and his good sister were almost in despair.

Time slipped away, and the Prior and his kind sister were nearly in despair.

In the meanwhile, the cursed bailiff urged very strenuously the marriage of his great booby son with the beautiful Miss St. Yves, who was taken purposely out of the convent. She always entertained a passion for her god-son in proportion as she detested the husband who was designed for her. The insult that had been offered her, by shutting her up in a convent, increased her affection; and the mandate for wedding the bailiff's son completed her antipathy for him. Chagrin, tenderness, and terror, racked her soul. Love, we know, is much more inventive and more daring in a young woman than friendship in an aged Prior and an aunt upwards of forty-five. Besides, she had received good instructions in her convent with the assistance of romances, which she read by stealth.

In the meantime, the cursed bailiff pushed hard for his clumsy son to marry the beautiful Miss St. Yves, who had been deliberately taken out of the convent. She had always been infatuated with her godson while equally detesting the man chosen for her. The insult of being locked away in a convent only increased her feelings for him, and the order to marry the bailiff's son solidified her dislike for him. Frustration, affection, and fear tormented her. We know that love is often more creative and bold in a young woman than friendship is in an elderly Prior and an aunt over forty-five. Besides, she had received good guidance in her convent, aided by the romances she sneakily read.

The beautiful Miss St. Yves remembered the letter that had been sent by one of the king's guards to Lower Britany, which had been spoken of in the province. She resolved to go herself and gain information at Versailles; to throw herself at the minister's feet, if her husband should be in prison as it was said, and obtain justice for him. I know not what secret intelligence she had gained that at court nothing is refused to a pretty woman; but she knew not the price of these boons.

The beautiful Miss St. Yves recalled the letter sent by one of the king's guards to Lower Brittany, which had been talked about in the region. She decided to go herself and gather information at Versailles; to plead with the minister in person, if her husband was indeed imprisoned as rumored, and to get justice for him. I don't know what inside information she had received, but she believed that nothing is denied to a pretty woman at court; however, she was unaware of the cost of such favors.

Having taken this resolution, it afforded her some consolation; and she enjoyed some tranquillity without upraiding Providence with the severity of her lot. She receives her detested intended father-in-law, caresses her brother, and spreads happiness throughout the house. On the day appointed for the ceremony, she secretly departs at four o'clock in the morning, with the little nuptial presents she has received, and all she could gather. Her plan was so well laid, that she was about ten leagues upon her journey, when, about noon, her absence was discovered, and when every one's consternation and surprise was inexpressible. The inquisitive bailiff asked more questions that day than he had done for a week before; the intended bridegroom was more stupefied than ever. The Abbé St. Yves resolved in his rage to pursue his sister. The bailiff and his son were disposed to accompany him. Thus fate led almost the whole canton of Lower Britany to Paris.

Having made this decision, she found some comfort in it; and she experienced a bit of peace without blaming fate for her harsh situation. She welcomed her loathed future father-in-law, showed affection to her brother, and spread joy around the house. On the day set for the wedding, she quietly left at four o'clock in the morning, taking the small wedding gifts she had received and everything she could gather. Her plan was so well thought out that she was about ten leagues into her journey when, around noon, her absence was noticed, and everyone's shock and surprise were overwhelming. The nosy bailiff asked more questions that day than he had in the entire previous week; the intended bridegroom was more bewildered than ever. The Abbé St. Yves, furious, decided to chase after his sister. The bailiff and his son were willing to go with him. Thus, fate almost brought the whole region of Lower Brittany to Paris.

The beautiful Miss St. Yves was not without apprehensions that she should be pursued. She rode on horseback, and she got all the intelligence she could from the couriers, without being suspected. She asked if they had not met a fat abbé, an enormous bailiff, and a young booby, galloping as fast as they could to Paris. Having learned, on the third day, that they were not far behind, she took quite a different road, and was skillful and lucky enough to arrive at Versailles, whilst they were in a fruitless pursuit after her, at Paris. But how was she to behave at Versailles? Young, handsome, untutored, unsupported, unknown, exposed to every danger, how could she dare go in search of one of the king's guards? She had some thoughts of applying to a Jesuit of low rank, for there were some for every station of life; as God, they say, has given different aliments to every species of animals. He had given the king his confessor, who was called, by all solicitors of benefices, the head of the Gallican Church. Then came the princes' confessors. The ministers had none, they were not such dupes. There were Jesuits for the genteel mob, and particularly those for chambermaids, by whom were known the secrets of their mistresses; and this was no small vocation, the beautiful Miss St. Yves addressed herself to one of these last, who was called Father Tout-à-tous (all to every one). She confessed to him, set forth her adventure, her situation, her danger, and conjured him to get her a lodging with some good devotee, who might shelter her from temptation.

The beautiful Miss St. Yves was worried about being followed. She rode horseback and got all the information she could from the messengers without raising any suspicion. She asked if they had seen a chubby abbé, a huge bailiff, and a young fool, all rushing to Paris. After learning on the third day that they were not far behind, she took a different route and cleverly managed to reach Versailles while they were still fruitlessly chasing her in Paris. But how was she supposed to act at Versailles? Young, attractive, inexperienced, unsupported, and unknown, how could she dare to seek out one of the king's guards? She considered asking a low-ranking Jesuit for help, since there were Jesuits available for every level of society; as they say, God has provided different food for every type of animal. The king had his confessor, known to all those seeking church positions as the head of the Gallican Church. Then there were the confessors for the princes. The ministers had none; they weren't that naive. There were Jesuits for the fashionable crowd, especially for the chambermaids, who knew their mistresses' secrets; and this was no small role. The beautiful Miss St. Yves decided to approach one of these chambermaid Jesuits, known as Father Tout-à-tous (all to everyone). She confessed to him, explained her adventure, her situation, her danger, and begged him to find her a place to stay with a good devotee who could protect her from temptation.

The Confessional. The Confessional.

Father Tout-à-tous introduced her to the wife of the cup-bearer, one of his most trusty penitents. From the moment Miss St. Yves became her lodger, she did her utmost to obtain the confidence and friendship of this penitent. She gained intelligence of the Breton-Guard, and invited him to visit her. Having learned from him that her lover had been carried off after having had a conference with one of the clerks, she flew to this clerk. The sight of a fine woman softened him, for it must be allowed God created woman only to tame mankind.

Father Tout-à-tous introduced her to the cup-bearer's wife, one of his most trusted penitents. From the moment Miss St. Yves moved in, she did everything she could to earn this penitent's trust and friendship. She learned about the Breton-Guard and invited him to see her. After finding out from him that her lover had been taken away after a meeting with one of the clerks, she rushed to confront this clerk. The sight of a beautiful woman softened him, because, let's face it, God created women to tame men.

The scribe, thus mollified, acknowledged to her every thing.

The scribe, feeling reassured, confessed everything to her.

"Your lover has been in the bastile almost a year, and without your intercession he would, perhaps, have ended hid days there."

"Your partner has been in prison for almost a year, and without your help, he might have spent the rest of his life there."

The tender Miss St. Yves swooned at this intelligence. When she had recovered herself, her informer told her:

The gentle Miss St. Yves fainted at this news. Once she had gathered herself, her informant told her:

"I have no power to do good; all my influence extends to doing harm. Take my advice, wait upon M. de St. Pouange, who has the power of doing both good and ill; he is Mons. de Louvois's cousin and favorite. This minister has two souls: the one is M. de St. Pouange, and Mademoiselle de Belle is the other, but she is at present absent from Versailles; so that you have nothing to do but captivate the protector I have pointed out to you."

"I have no ability to do good; my influence only seems to cause harm. Take my advice and seek out M. de St. Pouange, who can do both good and bad; he is the cousin and favorite of Mons. de Louvois. This minister has two main allies: M. de St. Pouange and Mademoiselle de Belle, but she's currently not at Versailles; so all you need to do is charm the protector I've mentioned."

The beautiful Miss St. Yves, divided between some trifling joy and excessive grief, between a glimmering of hope and dreadful apprehensions,—pursued by her brother, idolizing her lover, wiping her tears, which flowed in torrents; trembling and feeble, yet summoning all her courage;—in this situation, she flew on the wings of love to M. de St. Pouange's.

The beautiful Miss St. Yves, torn between a little bit of joy and deep sadness, caught between hope and terrible fears—chased by her brother, adoring her lover, wiping away her tears that flowed like a river; shaking and weak, yet trying to summon all her strength—found herself rushing on the wings of love to M. de St. Pouange's.


XIV.

FAST ADVANCEMENT OF THE HURON'S INTELLIGENCE.

The ingenuous youth was making a rapid progress in the sciences, and particularly in the science of man. The cause of this sudden disclosure of his understanding was as much owing to his savage education as to the disposition of his soul; for, having learned nothing in his infancy, he had not imbibed any prejudices. His mind, not having been warped by error, had retained all its primitive rectitude. He saw things as they were; whereas the ideas that are communicated to us in our infancy make us see them all our life in a false light.

The innocent young man was quickly advancing in the sciences, especially in the study of humanity. The reason for this sudden growth in his understanding was due as much to his wild upbringing as to his natural temperament; since he hadn’t learned anything as a child, he hadn’t picked up any biases. His mind, untainted by mistakes, maintained its original clarity. He perceived things as they truly were; while the ideas we receive in our childhood lead us to see them in a distorted way for the rest of our lives.

"Your persecutors are very abominable wretches," said he to his friend Gordon. "I pity you for being oppressed, but I condemn you for being a Jansenist. All sects appear to me to be founded in error. Tell me if there be any sectaries in geometry?"

"Your persecutors are horrible people," he told his friend Gordon. "I feel sorry for you for being oppressed, but I criticize you for being a Jansenist. All sects seem to me to be based on error. Are there any sects in geometry?"

"No, my child," said the good old Gordon, heaving a deep sigh; "all men are agreed concerning truth when demonstrated, but they are too much divided about latent truths."

"No, my child," said the kind old Gordon with a deep sigh, "everyone agrees on the truth when it's proven, but they are too divided when it comes to hidden truths."

"If there were but one single hidden truth in your load of arguments, which have been so often sifted for such a number of ages, it would doubtless have been discovered, and the universe would certainly have been unanimous, at least, in that respect. If this truth had been as necessary as the sun is to the earth, it would have been as brilliant as that planet. It is an absurdity, an insult to human nature—it is an attack upon the Infinite and Supreme Being to say there is a truth essential to the happiness of man which God conceals."

"If there were just one hidden truth among all your arguments that have been examined for so many ages, it would surely have been found, and the universe would undoubtedly agree on that point. If this truth were as necessary as the sun is to the earth, it would shine as brightly as that star. It is absurd and insulting to human nature—it is an affront to the Infinite and Supreme Being to claim there is a truth essential for human happiness that God hides."

All that this ignorant youth, instructed only by nature, said, made a very deep impression upon the mind of the old unhappy scholiast.

All that this clueless young man, taught only by nature, said left a strong impression on the mind of the old, troubled scholar.

"Is it really certain," he cried, "that I should have made myself truly miserable for mere chimeras? I am much more certain of my misery than of effectual grace. I have spent my time in reasoning about the liberty of God and human nature, but I have lost my own. Neither St. Augustine nor St. Prosner will extricate me from my present misfortunes."

"Is it really true," he shouted, "that I’ve made myself genuinely miserable for nothing but illusions? I’m way more sure about my misery than about any real help. I’ve wasted my time debating the freedom of God and human nature, but I’ve lost my own. Neither St. Augustine nor St. Prosner can rescue me from my current troubles."

The ingenuous Huron, who gave way to his natural instincts, at length said:

The naive Huron, who followed his natural instincts, finally said:

"Will you give me leave to speak to you boldly and frankly? Those who bring upon themselves persecution for such idle disputes seem to me to have very little sense; those who persecute, appear to me very monsters."

"Can I speak to you openly and honestly? It seems to me that those who suffer persecution over such trivial arguments really lack common sense; and those who persecute others seem like total monsters."

The two captives entirely coincided with respect to the injustice of their captivity.

The two captives completely agreed about the unfairness of their imprisonment.

"I am a hundred times more to be pitied than you," said the Huron; "I am born free as the air: I had two lives, liberty and the object of my love; and I am deprived of both. We are both in fetters, without knowing who put them on us, or without being able to enquire. It is said that the Hurons are barbarians, because they avenge themselves on their enemies; but they never oppress their friends. I had scarce set foot in France, before I shed my blood for this country. I have, perhaps, preserved a whole province, and my recompense is imprisonment. In this country men are condemned without being heard. This is not the case in England. Alas! it was not against the English that I should have fought."

"I deserve a hundred times more pity than you," said the Huron; "I was born free like the air: I had two lives, freedom and the one I loved; and now I've lost both. We are both trapped, without knowing who put us in this situation, or how to find out. People say the Hurons are savages because they seek revenge on their enemies; but they never mistreat their friends. I barely set foot in France before I shed my blood for this country. I might have saved an entire province, and my reward is imprisonment. In this country, people are judged without being heard. That’s not how it is in England. Sadly, I wasn’t supposed to fight against the English."

Thus his growing philosophy could not brook nature being insulted in the first of her rights, and he gave vent to his just indignation.

Thus his developing philosophy could not tolerate nature being disrespected in its most fundamental rights, and he expressed his rightful anger.

His companion did not contradict him. Absence ever increases ungratified love, and philosophy does not diminish it. He as frequently spoke of his dear Miss St. Yves, as he did of morality or metaphysics. The more he purified his sentiments, the more he loved. He read some new romances; but he met with few that depicted to him the real state of his soul. He felt that his heart stretched beyond the bounds of his author.

His companion didn’t argue with him. Absence always intensifies unfulfilled love, and philosophy doesn’t lessen it. He talked about his dear Miss St. Yves as much as he talked about morality or metaphysics. The more he refined his feelings, the more he loved. He read some new novels, but he found few that truly reflected his inner state. He realized that his heart extended beyond the limits of the writer.

"Alas!" said he, "almost all these writers have nothing but wit and art."

"Unfortunately," he said, "most of these writers only have cleverness and style."

At length, the good Jansenist priest became, insensibly, the confident of his tenderness. He was already acquainted with love as a sin with which a penitent accuses himself at confession. He now learned to know it as a sentiment equally noble and tender; which can elevate the soul as well as soften it, and can at times produce virtues. In fine, for the last miracle, a Huron converted a Jansenist.

At last, the well-meaning Jansenist priest gradually became aware of his feelings. He was already familiar with love as a sin that a penitent would confess. Now, he came to understand it as an equally noble and tender emotion; one that could uplift the soul as well as soften it and sometimes inspire virtues. Ultimately, in a remarkable turn of events, a Huron converted a Jansenist.


XV.

THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES PAYS A VISIT TO M. DE ST. POUANGE.

The charming Miss St. Yves, still more afflicted than her lover, waited accordingly upon M. de St. Pouange, accompanied by her friend with whom she lodged, each having their faces covered with their hoods. The first thing she saw at the door was the Abbé St. Yves, her brother coming out. She was terrified, but her friend supported her spirits.

The charming Miss St. Yves, even more troubled than her lover, went to see M. de St. Pouange, along with her friend who she was staying with, both of them with their faces hidden by their hoods. The first thing she noticed at the door was her brother, Abbé St. Yves, coming out. She was frightened, but her friend boosted her spirits.

"For the very reason," said she, "that people have been speaking against you, speak to him for yourself. You may he assured, that the accusers in this part of the world are always in the right, unless they are immediately detected. Besides, your presence will have greater effect, or else I am much mistaken, than the words of your brother."

"For that very reason," she said, "since people have been talking bad about you, talk to him yourself. You can be sure that the accusers around here are usually right, unless they're caught red-handed. Besides, your presence will have a bigger impact, or I’m seriously mistaken, than your brother's words."

Ever so little encouragement to a passionate lover makes her intrepid. Miss St. Yves appears at the audience. Her youth, her charms, her languishing eyes, moistened with some involuntary tears, attract every one's attention. Every sycophant to the deputy minister forgot for an instant the idol of power to contemplate that of beauty. St. Pouange conducted her into a closet. She spoke with an affecting grace. St. Pouange felt some emotion. She trembled, but he told her not to be afraid.

Ever so little encouragement to a passionate lover makes her fearless. Miss St. Yves steps into the room. Her youth, her beauty, her wistful eyes, glistening with involuntary tears, capture everyone's attention. Every sycophant to the deputy minister momentarily forgets the idol of power to admire the idol of beauty. St. Pouange leads her into a private room. She speaks with touching grace. St. Pouange feels a wave of emotion. She trembles, but he reassures her not to be afraid.

"Return to-night," said he; "your business requires some reflection, and it must be discussed at leisure. There are too many people here at present. Audiences are rapidly dispatched. I must get to the bottom of all that concerns you."

"Come back tonight," he said. "You need to think things over, and we should talk when we have more time. There are too many people around right now. Meetings are quick and to the point. I need to understand everything that’s going on with you."

He then paid her some compliments upon her beauty and address, and advised her to come at seven in the evening.

He then complimented her on her beauty and charm, and suggested she come at seven in the evening.

She did not fail attending at the hour appointed, and her pious friend again accompanied her; but she remained in the hall, where she read the Christian Pedagogue, whilst St. Pouange and the beauteous Miss St. Yves were in the back closet. He began by saying:

She didn't miss the appointment and her devout friend accompanied her once more; however, she stayed in the hall, reading the Christian Pedagogue, while St. Pouange and the beautiful Miss St. Yves were in the back room. He started by saying:

"Would you believe it, Miss, that your brother has been to request me to grant him a lettre de cachet against you; but, indeed, I would sooner grant one to send him back to Lower Britany."

"Can you believe it, Miss, that your brother came to ask me for a lettre de cachet against you? Honestly, I’d rather grant him one to send him back to Lower Brittany."

"Alas! sir," said she, "lettres de cachet are granted very liberally in your offices, since people come from the extremity of the kingdom to solicit them like pensions. I am very far from requesting one against my brother, yet I have much reason to complain of him. But I respect the liberty of mankind; and, therefore, supplicate for that of a man whom I want to make my husband; of a man to whom the king is indebted for the preservation of a province; who can beneficially serve him; and who is the son of an officer killed in his service. Of what is he accused? How could he be treated so cruelly without being heard?"

"Unfortunately, sir," she said, "lettres de cachet are handed out pretty freely in your offices, with people coming from all over the kingdom to request them like they would pensions. I'm not asking for one against my brother, but I have plenty of reasons to be upset with him. However, I respect people's freedom; that's why I'm asking for the freedom of the man I want to marry; a man who has helped the king by preserving a province, who can serve him well, and who is the son of an officer who died in his service. What is he being accused of? How could he be treated so harshly without even having a chance to defend himself?"

The deputy minister then showed her the letter of the spy Jesuit, and that of the perfidious bailiff.

The deputy minister then showed her the letter from the spy Jesuit and that of the deceitful bailiff.

"What!" said she with astonishment, "are there such monsters upon earth? and would they force me to marry the stupid son of a ridiculous, wicked man? and is it upon such evidence that the fate of citizens is determined?"

"What!" she exclaimed in disbelief, "are there really such monsters on this earth? And would they make me marry the foolish son of a ridiculous, evil man? And is it based on such evidence that the fate of citizens is decided?"

She threw herself upon her knees, and with a flood of tears solicited the freedom of a brave man who adored her. Her charms appeared to the greatest advantage in such a situation. She was so beautiful, that St. Pouange, bereft of all shame, used words with some reserve, which brought on others less delicate, which were succeeded by those still more expressive. The revocation of the lettre de cachet was proposed, and he at length went so far as to state the only means of obtaining the liberty of the man whose interest she had so violently and affectionately at heart.

She fell to her knees, and with a flood of tears begged for the freedom of a brave man who loved her. Her beauty shone even brighter in such a moment. She was so stunning that St. Pouange, stripped of all shame, chose his words carefully at first, which led to less polite remarks, followed by those that were even more expressive. The cancellation of the lettre de cachet was suggested, and he eventually went as far as to explain the only way to secure the freedom of the man she cared for so deeply and passionately.

This uncommon conversation continued for a long time. The devotee in the anti-chamber, in reading her Christian Pedagogue, said to herself:

This unusual conversation went on for quite a while. The devotee in the waiting area, while reading her Christian Pedagogue, thought to herself:

"My Lord St. Pouange never before gave so long an audience. Perhaps he has refused every thing to this poor girl, and she is still entreating him."

"My Lord St. Pouange has never given such a long audience before. Maybe he has turned down everything for this poor girl, and she keeps pleading with him."

At length her companion came out of the closet in the greatest confusion, without being able to speak. She was lost in deep meditation upon the character of the great and the half great, who so slightly sacrifice the liberty of men and the honor of women.

At last, her companion emerged from the closet, clearly flustered and speechless. She was deep in thought about the nature of the powerful and the mediocre, who so easily compromise men's freedom and women's dignity.

She did not utter a syllable all the way back. But having returned to her friend's, she burst out, and told all that had happened. Her pious friend made frequent signs of the cross.

She didn’t say a word all the way back. But once she returned to her friend’s place, she let it all out and shared everything that had happened. Her devout friend kept making the sign of the cross.

"My dear friend," said she, "you must consult to-morrow Father Tout-à-tous, our director. He has much influence over M. de St. Pouange. He is confessor of many of the female servants of the house. He is a pious accommodating man, who has also the direction of some women of fashion. Yield to him; this is my way; and I always found myself right. We weak women stand in need of a man to lead us: and so, my dear friend, I'll go to-morrow in search of Father Tout-à-tous."

"My dear friend," she said, "you need to talk to Father Tout-à-tous tomorrow. He has a lot of influence over M. de St. Pouange. He’s the confessor for many of the female servants in the house. He’s a devout and easygoing man, who also directs some fashionable women. Trust him; this is my approach, and it’s always worked for me. We vulnerable women need a man to guide us: so, my dear friend, I’ll go look for Father Tout-à-tous tomorrow."


XVI.

MISS ST. YVES SEES A JESUIT.

No sooner was the beautiful and disconsolate Miss St. Yves with her holy confessor, than she told him, "that a powerful, voluptuous man, had proposed to her to set at liberty the man whom she intended making her lawful husband, and that he required a great price for his service; that she held such infidelity in the highest detestation; and that if her life only had been required, she would much sooner have sacrificed it than to have submitted."

No sooner had the beautiful and heartbroken Miss St. Yves met with her spiritual advisor than she told him, "A powerful, seductive man has offered to release the man I want to marry, but he demands a high price for his help. I hold such betrayal in the utmost contempt, and if it were only my life that was at stake, I would much rather sacrifice it than give in."

"This is a most abominable sinner," said Father Tout-à-tous, "You should tell me the name of this vile man. He must certainly be some Jansenist. I will inform against him to his Reverence, Father de la Chaise, who will place him in the situation of your dear beloved intended bridegroom."

"This is a truly terrible sinner," said Father Tout-à-tous, "You need to tell me the name of this despicable man. He must definitely be a Jansenist. I will report him to his Reverence, Father de la Chaise, who will put him in the same position as your dear beloved fiancé."

The poor girl, after much hesitation and embarrassment, at length mentioned St. Pouange.

The poor girl, after a lot of hesitation and embarrassment, finally mentioned St. Pouange.

"My Lord St. Pouange!" cried the Jesuit, "Ah! my child, the case is quite different. He is cousin to the greatest minister we have ever had; a man of worth, a protector of the good cause, a good Christian. He could not entertain such a thought. You certainly must have misunderstood him."

"My Lord St. Pouange!" exclaimed the Jesuit, "Oh! my child, the situation is very different. He is related to the greatest minister we have ever had; a man of integrity, a defender of the righteous cause, a faithful Christian. He couldn't possibly think that way. You must have misinterpreted his words."

"Oh! Father, I did but understand him too well. I am lost on which ever side I turn. The only alternative I have to choose is misery or shame; either my lover must be buried alive, or I must make myself unworthy of living. I cannot let him perish, nor can I save him."

"Oh! Dad, I understand him too well. I'm lost no matter which way I turn. The only choices I have are misery or shame; either my lover will be buried alive, or I'll make myself unworthy of living. I can't let him die, but I also can't save him."

Father Tout-à-tous endeavored to console her with these gentle expressions:

Father Tout-à-tous tried to comfort her with these kind words:

"In the first place, my child, never use the word lover. It intimates something worldly, which may offend God. Say my husband. You consider him as such, and nothing can be more decent.

"In the first place, my child, never use the word lover. It suggests something inappropriate, which may offend God. Say my husband. You see him as such, and nothing could be more proper."

"Secondly: Though he be ideally your husband, and you are in hopes he will be such eventually, yet he is not so in reality, consequently, you are still free and the mistress of your own conduct.

"Secondly: Even though he seems like the perfect husband in your dreams and you hope he will become one eventually, he’s not really that way right now. Therefore, you are still free and in control of your own actions."

Father Tout-à-tous. Father Everything.

"Thirdly: Actions are not maliciously culpable, when the intention is virtuous; and nothing can be more virtuous than to procure your husband his liberty.

"Thirdly: Actions aren't blameworthy when the intention is good; and nothing could be more good than to secure your husband's freedom."

"Fourthly: You have examples in holy antiquity, that miraculously serve you for a guide. St. Augustin relates, that under the proconsulate of Septimius Acyndius, in the thirty-fourth year of our salvation, a poor man could not pay unto Cæsar what belonged to Cæsar, and was justly condemned to die, notwithstanding the maxim, 'Where there is nothing, the king must lose his right.' The object in question was a pound of gold. The culprit had a wife in whom God had united beauty and prudence.

"Fourthly: You have examples from ancient times that miraculously guide you. St. Augustine tells us that during the proconsulate of Septimius Acyndius, in the thirty-fourth year of our salvation, a poor man couldn’t pay what he owed to Caesar and was justly sentenced to death, despite the principle that 'Where there is nothing, the king must lose his right.' The issue at hand was a pound of gold. The man had a wife who possessed both beauty and wisdom, as given by God."

"You may assure yourself, my child, that when a Jesuit quotes St. Augustin, that saint must certainly have been in the right. I advise you to nothing. You are prudent, and it is to be presumed that you will do your husband a service. My Lord St. Pouange is an honest man. He will not deceive you. This is all I can say. I will pray to God for you, and I hope every thing will take place for his glory."

"You can be sure, my child, that when a Jesuit quotes St. Augustine, that saint must have been correct. I'm not advising you on anything. You're sensible, and I assume you'll be a support to your husband. Sir St. Pouange is a decent man. He won’t let you down. That’s all I can tell you. I will pray to God for you, and I hope everything works out for His glory."

The beautiful Miss St. Yves, who was no less terrified with the Jesuit's discourse than with the proposals of the deputy minister, returned in despair to her friend. She was tempted to deliver herself by death from the horror of her situation.

The beautiful Miss St. Yves, who was just as terrified by the Jesuit's talk as she was by the proposals of the deputy minister, returned in despair to her friend. She was tempted to escape her horrifying situation through death.


XVII.

THE JESUIT WINS.

The unfortunate Miss St. Yves entreated her friend to kill her; but this lady, who was fully as indulgent as the Jesuit, spoke to her still more clearly.

The unfortunate Miss St. Yves begged her friend to end her life; however, this lady, who was just as lenient as the Jesuit, spoke to her even more directly.

"Alas!" said she, "at this agreeable, gallant, and famous court, business is always thus transacted. The most considerable, as well as the most indifferent places are seldom given away without a consideration. The dignities of war are solicited by the queen of love, and, without regard to merit, a place is often given to him who has the handsomest advocate.

"Alas!" she said, "at this charming, bold, and well-known court, business is always handled this way. The most important, as well as the least significant positions, are rarely given away without some sort of payment. The honors of war are sought after by the queen of love, and, regardless of merit, a position is often awarded to the one who has the most attractive supporter."

"You are in a situation that is extremely critical. The object is to restore your lover to liberty, and to marry him. It is a sacred duty that you are to fulfill. The world will applaud you. It will be said, that you only allowed yourself to be guilty of a weakness, through an excess of virtue."

"You are in a very critical situation. The goal is to set your partner free and marry him. It's a sacred duty you must fulfill. The world will admire you. It will be said that you only let yourself show a moment of weakness because of your overwhelming virtue."

"Heavens!" cried Miss St. Yves, "What kind of virtue is this? What a labyrinth of distress! What a world! What men to become acquainted with! A Father de la Chaise and a ridiculous bailiff imprison my lover; I am persecuted by my family; assistance is offered me, only that I may be dishonored! A Jesuit has ruined a brave man, another Jesuit wants to ruin me. On every side snares are laid for me, and I am upon the very brink of destruction! I must even speak to the king; I will throw myself at his feet as he goes to mass or to the theatre."

"Heavens!" exclaimed Miss St. Yves, "What kind of virtue is this? What a maze of distress! What a world! What men to get to know! A Father de la Chaise and a ridiculous bailiff have imprisoned my lover; my family is persecuting me; help is offered only to bring me dishonor! A Jesuit has ruined a brave man, and another Jesuit wants to ruin me. I'm surrounded by traps, and I'm on the edge of destruction! I must even speak to the king; I will throw myself at his feet as he goes to mass or the theater."

"His attendants will not let you approach," said her good friend; "and if you should be so unfortunate as to speak to him, M. de Louvois, or the Reverend Father de la Chaise, might bury you in a convent for the rest of your days."

"His assistants won't let you get close," said her good friend; "and if you're unfortunate enough to talk to him, M. de Louvois or Father de la Chaise might lock you away in a convent for the rest of your life."

Whilst this generous friend thus increased the perplexities of Miss St. Yves's tortured soul, and plunged the dagger deeper in her heart, a messenger arrived from M. de St. Pouange with a letter, and two fine pendant earrings. Miss St. Yves, with tears, refused to accept of any part of the contents of the packet; but her friend took the charge of them upon herself.

While this generous friend was adding to the turmoil of Miss St. Yves's troubled soul and digging the dagger deeper into her heart, a messenger arrived from M. de St. Pouange with a letter and two beautiful dangling earrings. Miss St. Yves, in tears, refused to accept any part of the contents of the package, but her friend took responsibility for them instead.

As soon as the messenger had gone, the confidante read the letter, in which a petit-souper (a little supper) was proposed to the two friends for that night. Miss St. Yves protested she would not go, whilst her pious friend endeavored to make her try on the diamond earrings; but Miss St. Yves could not endure them, and opposed it all the day long; being entirely wrapped up in the contemplation of her lover's imprisonment. At length, after a long resistance—after sighs, moans, and torrents of tears—driven by excitement almost to the verge of insanity—weakened with the conflict, overwhelmed and irresolute, the innocent victim, not knowing whether she was going, was dragged by this artful woman to the fatal supper of the "good Christian and protector of the good cause," M. de St. Pouange.

As soon as the messenger left, the confidante read the letter, which invited the two friends to a small dinner that night. Miss St. Yves insisted she wouldn't go, while her devoted friend tried to persuade her to try on the diamond earrings. But Miss St. Yves couldn't stand them and resisted all day long, completely consumed by thoughts of her lover's imprisonment. Finally, after a long struggle—filled with sighs, cries, and streams of tears—pushed to the edge of madness by the turmoil, exhausted from the fight, and feeling confused, the innocent victim, unsure of what she was doing, was dragged by this crafty woman to the fateful dinner of the "good Christian and protector of the good cause," M. de St. Pouange.

THE MEETING. The meeting.

XVIII.

MISS ST. YVES INTRODUCES HER LOVER AND A JANSENIST.

At day-break she fled to Paris with the minister's mandate. It would be difficult to depict the agitation of her mind in this journey. Imagine a virtuous and noble soul, humbled by its own reproaches, intoxicated with tenderness, distracted with the remorse of having betrayed her lover, and elated with the pleasure of releasing the object of her adoration. Her torments and conflicts by turns engaged her reflections. She was no longer that innocent girl whose ideas were confined to a provincial education. Love and misfortunes had united to remould her. Sentiment had made as rapid a progress in her mind, as reason had in that of her lover.

At dawn, she escaped to Paris with the minister's orders. It’s hard to convey the turmoil in her mind during this journey. Picture a virtuous and noble spirit, weighed down by self-reproach, overwhelmed with affection, torn apart by the guilt of betraying her lover, and exhilarated by the joy of freeing the person she adored. Her inner struggles and conflicts constantly occupied her thoughts. She was no longer the innocent girl with a limited provincial education. Love and hardships had come together to reshape her. Emotions had developed just as quickly in her mind as logic had in her lover’s.

Her dress was dictated by the greatest simplicity. She viewed with horror the trappings with which she had appeared before her fatal benefactor. Her companion had taken the earrings without her having looked at them. Anxious and confused, idolizing the Huron and detesting herself, she at length arrived at the gate of that dreadful castle—the palace of vengeance—where crimes and innocence are alike immured.

Her dress was incredibly simple. She looked at the decorations with horror that she had worn in front of her unfortunate benefactor. Her friend had taken the earrings without her even noticing. Anxious and confused, both idolizing the Huron and hating herself, she finally reached the gate of that dreadful castle—the palace of vengeance—where both criminals and innocent people are trapped.

When she was upon the point of getting out of the coach her strength failed her. Some people came to her assistance. She entered, whilst her heart was in the greatest palpitation, her eyes streaming, and her whole frame bespoke the greatest consternation. She was presented to the governor. He was going to speak to her, but she had lost all power of expression: she showed her order, whilst, with great difficulty, she articulated some accents. The governor entertained a great esteem for his prisoner, and he was greatly pleased at his being released. His heart was not callous, like those of most of his brethren, who think of nothing but the fees their captives are to pay them; extort their revenues from their victims; and living by the misery of others, conceive a horrid joy at the lamentations of the unfortunate.

When she was about to get out of the coach, her strength gave out. Some people came to help her. She got inside, her heart racing, her eyes brimming with tears, and her whole body showed her deep distress. She was introduced to the governor. He was about to speak to her, but she had lost all ability to express herself: she showed her order while struggling to say a few words. The governor had great respect for his prisoner and was very pleased that he was being released. His heart wasn't cold like those of most of his colleagues, who only think about the fees their captives have to pay them, taking their earnings from their victims, and living off the misery of others while feeling a horrible satisfaction at the suffering of the unfortunate.

He sent for the prisoner into his apartment. The two lovers swooned at the sight of each other. The beautiful Miss St. Yves remained for a long time motionless, without any symptoms of life; the other soon recalled his fortitude.

He called for the prisoner to come to his room. The two lovers were struck with emotion when they saw each other. The beautiful Miss St. Yves stood still for a long time, showing no signs of life; the other soon regained his composure.

"This lady," said the governor, "is probably your wife. You did not tell me you were married. I am informed that it is through her generous solicitude that you have obtained your liberty."

"This woman," said the governor, "is probably your wife. You didn’t mention that you were married. I’ve been told that it’s through her kind concern that you’ve gained your freedom."

"Alas!" said the beautiful Miss St. Yves, in a faltering voice, "I am not worthy of being his wife;" and swooned again.

"Alas!" said the beautiful Miss St. Yves, in a trembling voice, "I’m not worthy of being his wife;" and she fainted again.

When she recovered her senses, she presented, with a trembling hand and averted eyes, the grant and written promise of a company.

When she regained her composure, she held out, with a shaking hand and her eyes turned away, the grant and written commitment from a company.

The Huron, equally astonished and affected, awoke from one dream to fall into another.

The Huron, both amazed and impacted, woke up from one dream only to dive into another.

"Why was I shut up here? How could you deliver me? Where are the monsters that immured me? You are a divinity sent from heaven to succor me."

"Why was I trapped here? How can you rescue me? Where are the monsters that locked me away? You are a divine being sent from heaven to help me."

The beautiful Miss St. Yves, with a dejected air, looked at her lover, blushed, and instantly turned away her streaming eyes. In a word, they told him all she knew, and all she had undergone, except what she was willing to conceal forever, but which any other than the Huron, more accustomed to the world and better acquainted with the customs of courts, would easily have guessed.

The lovely Miss St. Yves, looking upset, glanced at her lover, flushed, and quickly turned away her tear-filled eyes. In short, they revealed everything she knew and everything she had experienced, except for what she wanted to hide forever, which anyone other than the Huron, more familiar with the world and more aware of court customs, would have easily figured out.

"Is it possible," said he, "that a wretch like the bailiff can have deprived me of my liberty?

"Is it possible," he said, "that someone as despicable as the bailiff could have taken away my freedom?"

"Alas! I find that men, like the vilest of animals, can all injure.

"Unfortunately! I see that men, just like the worst animals, can all cause harm."

"But is it possible that a monk, a Jesuit, the king's confessor, should have contributed to my misfortunes as much as the bailiff, without my being able to imagine under what pretence this detestable knave has persecuted me? Did he make me pass for a Jansenist? In fine, how came you to remember me? I did not deserve it; I was then only a savage.

"But is it possible that a monk, a Jesuit, the king's confessor, contributed to my troubles as much as the bailiff did, without me being able to figure out what excuse this horrible person had for tormenting me? Did he make me seem like a Jansenist? Anyway, how did you remember me? I didn’t deserve that; I was just a wild person back then."

"What! could you, without advice, without assistance, undertake a journey to Versailles?

"What! Could you, without any guidance or help, take a trip to Versailles?"

"You there appeared, and my fetters were broken!

"You showed up, and my chains were set free!"

"There must then be in beauty and virtue an invincible charm, that opens gates of adamant and softens hearts of steel."

"There must be an undeniable charm in beauty and virtue that can break through the toughest barriers and soften the hardest hearts."

At the word virtue, a flood of tears issued from the eyes of the beautiful Miss St. Yves. She did not know how far she had been virtuous in the crime with which she reproached herself.

At the mention of virtue, a surge of tears burst from the eyes of the beautiful Miss St. Yves. She was unsure how much she had been virtuous in the wrongdoing she blamed herself for.

Her lover thus continued:

Her partner then continued:

"Thou angel, who hast broken my chains, if thou hast had sufficient influence (which I cannot yet comprehend) to obtain justice for me, obtain it likewise for an old man who first taught me to think, as thou didst to love. Misfortunes have united us; I love him as a father; I can neither live without thee nor him."

"You angel who have freed me from my chains, if you have had enough power (which I still can't fully understand) to get justice for me, please do the same for the old man who first taught me to think, just as you taught me to love. Misfortunes have brought us together; I love him like a father; I can't live without you or him."

"I solicit?"

"Am I asking?"

"The same man."

"That same guy."

"Who!"

"Who?"

"Yes, I will be beholden to you for everything, and I will owe nothing to any one but yourself. Write to this man in power. Overwhelm me with kindness—complete what you have begun—perfect your miracle."

"Yes, I will be grateful to you for everything, and I will owe nothing to anyone but you. Write to this powerful man. Shower me with kindness—finish what you started—make your miracle complete."

She was sensible she ought to do everything her lover desired. She wanted to write, but her hand refused its office. She began her letter three times, and tore it as often. At length she got to the end, and the two lovers left the prison, after having embraced the old martyr to efficacious grace.

She realized she should do everything her partner wanted. She wanted to write, but her hand wouldn’t cooperate. She started her letter three times and tore it up each time. Finally, she finished it, and the two lovers left the prison after embracing the old martyr for effective grace.

The happy yet disconsolate Miss St. Yves knew where her brother lodged: thither she repaired; and her lover took an apartment at the same house.

The happy yet sad Miss St. Yves knew where her brother stayed: she went there; and her boyfriend rented a room in the same house.

They had scarce reached their lodging, before her protector sent the order for releasing the good old Gordon, at the same time making an appointment with her for the next day.

They had barely arrived at their place before her protector sent the order to free the good old Gordon, while also setting up a meeting with her for the next day.

She gave the order of release to her lover, and refused the appointment of a benefactor whom she could no more see without expiring with shame and grief.

She told her lover to be free, and rejected the idea of a benefactor whom she could no longer face without feeling intense shame and sorrow.

Her lover would not have left her upon any other errand than to release his friend. He flew to the place of his confinement and fulfilled this duty, reflecting, meanwhile, upon the strange vicissitudes of this world, and admiring the courageous virtue of a young lady, to whom two unfortunate men owed more than life.

Her lover wouldn’t have left her for any reason other than to free his friend. He rushed to where his friend was held and completed this task, all the while thinking about the odd twists of fate in this world, and appreciating the brave spirit of a young woman to whom two unfortunate men owed more than just their lives.


XIX.

The Huron, the beautiful Miss St. Yves, and their companions are gathered.

The generous and respectable, but injured girl, was with her brother the Abbé de St. Yves, the good Prior of the Mountain, and Lady de Kerkabon. They were equally astonished, but their situations and sentiments were very different. The Abbé de St. Yves was expiating the wrongs he had done his sister at her feet, and she pardoned him. The prior and his sympathizing sister likewise wept, but it was for joy. The filthy bailiff and his insupportable son did not trouble this affecting scene. They had set out upon the first report that their antagonist had been released. They flew to bury in their own province their folly and fear.

The generous and respected, but hurt girl, was with her brother, the Abbé de St. Yves, the kind Prior of the Mountain, and Lady de Kerkabon. They were all surprised, but their situations and feelings were very different. The Abbé de St. Yves was making amends for the wrongs he had done to his sister, and she forgave him. The prior and his sympathetic sister were also in tears, but it was out of joy. The disgusting bailiff and his unbearable son didn’t interfere with this emotional moment. They had rushed away as soon as they heard their opponent had been released, eager to bury their shame and fear back in their own territory.

The four dramatis personæ, variously agitated, were waiting for the return of the young man who had gone to deliver his friend. The Abbé de St. Yves did not dare to raise his eyes to meet those of his sister. The good Kerkabon said:

The four dramatis personæ, each feeling uneasy, were waiting for the young man who had gone to help his friend. The Abbé de St. Yves couldn't bring himself to look into his sister's eyes. The kind Kerkabon said:

"I shall then see once more my dear nephew."

"I will see my dear nephew again."

"You will see him again," said the charming Miss St. Yves, "but he is no longer the same man. His behavior, his manners, his ideas, his sense, have all undergone a complete mutation. He has become as respectable, as he was before ignorant and strange to everything. He will be the honor and consolation of your family; would to heaven that I might also be the honor of mine!"

"You'll see him again," said the charming Miss St. Yves, "but he isn’t the same man anymore. His behavior, his manners, his ideas, his common sense, have all completely changed. He's become as respectable as he was once ignorant and unfamiliar with everything. He will bring honor and comfort to your family; I just wish I could also bring honor to mine!"

"What, are you not the same as you were?" said the prior. "What then has happened to work so great a change?"

"What, aren't you the same as you were?" said the prior. "So what has caused such a big change?"

During this conversation the Huron returned in company with the Jansenist. The scene was now changed, and became more interesting. It began by the uncle and aunt's tender embraces. The Abbé de St. Yves almost kissed the knees of the ingenuous Huron, who, by the by, was no longer ingenuous. The language of the eyes formed all the discourse of the two lovers, who, nevertheless, expressed every sentiment with which they were penetrated. Satisfaction and acknowledgment sparkled in the countenance of the one, whilst embarrassment was depicted in Miss St. Yves's melting but half averted eyes. Every one was astonished that she should mingle grief with so much joy.

During this conversation, the Huron returned with the Jansenist. The scene changed and became more interesting. It began with the uncle and aunt's warm embraces. The Abbé de St. Yves nearly kissed the knees of the sincere Huron, who, by the way, was no longer so sincere. The language of the eyes spoke for the two lovers, who nonetheless expressed every feeling that moved them. Satisfaction and gratitude sparkled in one person's face, while embarrassment showed in Miss St. Yves's melting but slightly averted eyes. Everyone was surprised that she could mix grief with so much joy.

The venerable Gordon soon endeared himself to the whole family. He had been unhappy with the young prisoner, and this was a sufficient title to their esteem. He owed his deliverance to the two lovers, and this alone reconciled him to love. The acrimony of his former sentiments was dismissed from his heart—he was converted by gratitude, as well as the Huron. Every one related his adventures before supper. The two Abbés and the aunt listened like children to the relation of stories of ghosts, and both were deeply interested.

The respected Gordon quickly won over the entire family. He had been upset with the young prisoner, and that was enough for them to appreciate him. He owed his freedom to the two lovers, and that was enough to change his view on love. The bitterness of his previous feelings vanished from his heart—he was transformed by gratitude, just like the Huron. Everyone shared their adventures before dinner. The two Abbés and the aunt listened like kids to spooky stories, and they were all very engaged.

"Alas!" said Gordon, "there are perhaps upwards of five hundred virtuous people in the same fetters as Miss St. Yves has broken. Their misfortunes are unheeded. Many hands are found to strike the unhappy multitude,—how seldom one to succor them."

"Alas!" said Gordon, "there are probably over five hundred good people in the same situation that Miss St. Yves has escaped from. Their struggles go unnoticed. Many are quick to hit the unfortunate crowd, but how rarely is there someone to help them."

This very just reflection increased his sensibility and gratitude. Everything heightened the triumph of the beautiful Miss St. Yves. The grandeur and intrepidity of her soul were the subject of each one's admiration. This admiration was blended with that respect which we feel in spite of ourselves for a person who we think has some influence at court. But the Abbé de St. Yves enquired:

This fair reflection made him more sensitive and grateful. Everything added to the triumph of the beautiful Miss St. Yves. The greatness and courage of her spirit were the talk of everyone’s admiration. This admiration was mixed with the respect we can't help but feel for someone we believe has some pull at court. But the Abbé de St. Yves asked:

"What could my sister do to obtain this influence so soon?"

"What could my sister do to gain this influence so quickly?"

Supper being ready, every one was already seated, when, lo! the worthy confidante of Versailles arrived, without being acquainted with anything that had passed. She was in a coach and six, and it was easily seen to whom the equipage belonged. She entered with that air of authority assumed by people in power who have a great deal of business—saluted the company with much indifference, and, pulling the beautiful Miss St. Yves on one side, said:

Supper was ready, and everyone was already seated when, suddenly, the esteemed confidante of Versailles showed up, completely unaware of what had happened. She arrived in a flashy six-horse carriage, and it was clear to whom it belonged. She walked in with the confidence typical of people in power who have a lot on their plates—greeted the group with indifference, and, pulling the lovely Miss St. Yves aside, said:

"Why do you make people wait so long? Follow me. There are the diamonds you forgot."

"Why do you make people wait so long? Come with me. Here are the diamonds you forgot."

However softly she uttered these expressions, the Huron, nevertheless, overheard them. He saw the diamonds. The brother was speechless. The uncle and aunt exhibited the surprise of good people, who had never before beheld such magnificence. The young man, whose mind was now formed by an experience of twelve months, could not help making some reflections against his will, and was for a moment in anxiety. His mistress perceived it, and a mortal paleness spread itself over her countenance; a tremor seized her, and it was with difficulty she could support herself.

However softly she said these things, the Huron still overheard her. He noticed the diamonds. The brother was left speechless. The uncle and aunt showed surprise like good people who had never seen such grandeur before. The young man, whose thoughts were shaped by a year of experience, couldn’t help but reflect against his will and felt a moment of anxiety. His mistress noticed it, and a deathly pallor spread across her face; she trembled, and it was hard for her to stay upright.

"Ah! madam," said she to her fatal friend, "you have ruined me—you have given me the mortal blow."

"Ah! madam," she said to her doomed friend, "you have destroyed me—you have delivered the final blow."

These words pierced the heart of the Huron: but he had already learned to possess himself. He did not dwell upon them, lest he should make his mistress uneasy before her brother, but turned pale as well as she.

These words struck the heart of the Huron: but he had already learned to control himself. He didn’t linger on them, so as not to make his mistress uncomfortable in front of her brother, but he turned pale just like she did.

Miss St. Yves, distracted with the change she perceived in her lover's countenance, pulled the woman out of the room into the passage, and there threw the jewels at her feet, saying:

Miss St. Yves, distracted by the change she noticed in her lover's expression, pulled the woman out of the room into the hallway, and there threw the jewels at her feet, saying:

"Alas! these were not my seducers, as you well know: but he that gave them shall never set eyes on me again."

"Unfortunately! these weren't my seducers, as you know very well: but the one who sent them will never see me again."

Her friend took them up, whilst Miss St. Yves added:

Her friend picked them up, while Miss St. Yves added:

"He may either take them again, or give them to you. Begone, and do not make me still more odious to myself."

"He can either take them back or give them to you. Leave, and don't make me hate myself even more."

The ambassadress at length departed, not being able to comprehend the remorse to which she had been witness.

The ambassadress finally left, unable to understand the guilt she had witnessed.

The beautiful Miss St. Yves, greatly oppressed and feeling a revolution in her body that almost suffocated her, was compelled to go to bed; but that she might not alarm any one she kept her pains and sufferings to herself: and under pretence of only being weary, she asked leave to take a little rest. This, however, she did not do till she had reanimated the company with consolatory and flattering expressions, and cast such a kind look upon her lover as darted fire into his soul.

The lovely Miss St. Yves, feeling overwhelmed and experiencing a turmoil in her body that nearly suffocated her, had to go to bed. However, not wanting to worry anyone, she kept her pain and struggles to herself. Under the guise of simply being tired, she asked for a bit of time to rest. She didn’t do this until she had uplifted the mood of the company with comforting and flattering words, and threw a glance at her lover that sent sparks to his soul.

The supper, of which she did not partake, was in the beginning gloomy; but this gloominess was of that interesting kind which inspires reflection and useful conversation, so superior to that frivolous excitement commonly exhibited, and which is usually nothing more than a troublesome noise.

The dinner, which she didn’t eat, started off dreary; but this dreariness was the kind that sparks deep thought and meaningful conversation, way better than the shallow excitement typically shown, which is often just annoying noise.

Gordon, in a few words, gave the history of Jansenism and Molinism; of those persecutions with which one party hampered the other; and of the obstinacy of both. The Huron entered into a criticism thereupon, pitying those men who, not satisfied with all the confusion occasioned by these opposite interests, create evils by imaginary interests and unintelligible absurdities. Gordon related—the other judged. The guests listened with emotion, and gained new lights. The duration of misfortunes, and the shortness of life, then became the topics. It was remarked that all professions have peculiar vices and dangers annexed to them; and that from the prince down to the lowest beggar, all seemed alike to accuse providence. How happens it that so many men, for so little, perform the office of persecutors, sergeants, and executioners, to others? With what inhuman indifference does a man in authority sign papers for the destruction of a family; and with what joy, still more barbarous, do mercenaries execute them.

Gordon briefly explained the history of Jansenism and Molinism, along with the persecutions each side inflicted on the other and the stubbornness of both. The Huron then critiqued this, expressing pity for those who, unsatisfied with the chaos caused by these conflicting interests, create suffering from imagined conflicts and nonsensical absurdities. Gordon shared his account while the others judged it. The guests listened emotionally and gained new insights. They then discussed the length of misfortunes and the brevity of life. It was noted that every profession has its unique vices and dangers; from the prince to the lowest beggar, they all seemed to blame providence. Why do so many people, for such trivial reasons, take on the roles of persecutors, enforcers, and executioners? How can a person in power coldly sign documents that lead to the destruction of a family, and how can mercenaries carry out these orders with such cruel joy?

"I saw in my youth," said the good old Gordon, "a relation of the Marshal de Marillic, who, being prosecuted in his own province on account of that illustrious but unfortunate man, concealed himself under a borrowed name in Paris. He was an old man near seventy-two years of age. His wife, who accompanied him, was nearly of the same age. They had a libertine son, who at fourteen years of age absconded from his father's house, turned soldier, and deserted. He had gone through every gradation of debauchery and misery; at length, having changed his name, he was in the guards of Cardinal Richelieu, (for this priest, as well as Mazarine, had guards) and had obtained an exempt's staff in their company of sergeants.

"I saw in my youth," said the good old Gordon, "a relative of Marshal de Marillic, who, facing prosecution in his own province because of that famed but unfortunate man, hid under a borrowed name in Paris. He was an old man close to seventy-two. His wife, who was with him, was nearly the same age. They had a wild son, who at fourteen ran away from home, joined the military, and then deserted. He went through all sorts of debauchery and hardship; eventually, after changing his name, he ended up in the guards of Cardinal Richelieu (because this priest, like Mazarin, had guards) and secured a position as an exempt in their sergeants' company."

"This adventurer was appointed to arrest the old man and his wife, and acquitted himself with all the obduracy of a man who was willing to please his master. As he was conducting them, he heard these two victims deplore the long succession of miseries which had befallen them from their cradle. This aged couple reckoned as one of their greatest misfortunes the wildness and loss of their son. He recollected them, but he nevertheless led them to prison; assuring them, that his Reverence was to be served in preference to every body else. His Eminence rewarded his zeal.

"This adventurer was tasked with arresting the old man and his wife, and he did so with the stubbornness of someone eager to please his boss. While he was taking them in, he heard the couple lament the long string of hardships they had faced since birth. They considered the wildness and loss of their son as one of their greatest misfortunes. He remembered them, but he still led them to prison, assuring them that his authority was to be prioritized over everyone else. His superior rewarded his enthusiasm."

"I have seen a spy of Father de la Chaise betray his own brother, in hopes of a little benefice, which he did not obtain; and I saw him die, not of remorse, but of grief at having been cheated by the Jesuit.

"I saw a spy for Father de la Chaise betray his own brother, hoping for a small reward, which he never got; and I watched him die, not from remorse, but from the sorrow of being tricked by the Jesuit."

"The vocation of a confessor, which I for a long while exercised, made me acquainted with the secrets of families. I have known very few, who, though immersed in the greatest distress, did not externally wear the mask of felicity and every appearance of joy; and I have always observed that great grief was the fruit of our unconstrained desires."

"The role of a confessor, which I practiced for a long time, exposed me to the secrets of families. I've known very few people who, despite being in deep distress, didn't outwardly show a face of happiness and joy. I've always noticed that intense grief often stems from our unrestrained desires."

"For my part," said the Huron, "I imagine, that a noble, grateful, sensible man, may always be happy; and I hope to enjoy an uncheckered felicity with the charming, generous Miss St. Yves. For I flatter myself," added he, in addressing himself to her brother with a friendly smile, "that you will not now refuse me as you did last year: besides, I shall pursue a more decent method."

"For my part," said the Huron, "I believe that a noble, grateful, and sensible person can always be happy; and I hope to enjoy a smooth happiness with the lovely and generous Miss St. Yves. I must say," he added with a friendly smile toward her brother, "that I hope you won’t refuse me like you did last year: besides, I’ll take a more respectful approach."

The Abbé was confounded in apologies for the past, and in protesting an eternal attachment.

The Abbé was overwhelmed with apologies for the past and insisted on his lasting loyalty.

Uncle Kerkabon said this would be the most glorious day of his whole life. His good aunt Kerkabon, in ecstasies of joy, cried out:

Uncle Kerkabon said this would be the best day of his entire life. His wonderful aunt Kerkabon, filled with joy, exclaimed:

"I always said you would never be a sub-deacon. This sacrament is preferable to the other; would to God I had been honored with it! but I will serve you for a mother."

"I always said you would never be a sub-deacon. This sacrament is better than the other; I wish I had been honored with it! But I will be like a mother to you."

And now all vied with each other in applauding the gentle Miss St. Yves.

And now everyone competed to applaud the kind Miss St. Yves.

Her lover's heart was too full of what she had done for him, and he loved her too much, for the affair of the jewels to make any permanent impression on him. But those words, which he too well heard, "you have given me the mortal blow", still secretly terrified him, and interrupted all his joy; whilst the eulogiums paid his beautiful mistress still increased his love. In a word, nothing was thought of but her,—nothing was mentioned but the happiness those two lovers deserved. A plan was agitated to live altogether at Paris, and schemes of grandeur and fortune were formed. These hopes, which the smallest ray of happiness engenders, were predominant. But the Huron felt, in the secret recesses of his heart, a sentiment that exploded the illusion. He read over the promises signed by St. Pouange, and the commission signed Louvois. These men were painted to him such as they were, or such as they were thought to be. Every one spoke of the ministers and administration with the freedom of convivial conversation, which is considered in France as the most precious liberty to be obtained on earth.

Her lover's heart was too full of everything she had done for him, and he loved her too deeply for the jewel affair to have any lasting impact on him. But those words he heard all too clearly, "you have given me the mortal blow", still secretly terrified him and overshadowed all his happiness; while the praises given to his beautiful mistress only intensified his love. In short, nothing was on anyone's mind but her—nothing was mentioned except for the joy those two lovers deserved. They were planning to live together in Paris, making grand dreams and schemes for their future. These hopes, sparked by the tiniest hint of happiness, loomed large. But deep down, the Huron felt a sensation that shattered the illusion. He reread the promises signed by St. Pouange and the commission signed by Louvois. These men were painted for him as they really were or as people believed them to be. Everyone spoke about the ministers and administration with the casualness of friendly conversation, which in France is seen as the most cherished freedom one can have.

"If I were king of France," said the Huron, "this is the kind of minister that I would choose for the war department. I would have a man of the highest birth, as he is to give orders to the nobility. I would require that he should himself have been an officer, and have passed through the various gradations; or, at least, that he had attained the rank of Lieutenant General, and was worthy of being a Marshal of France. For, to be acquainted with the details of the service, is it not necessary that he himself should have served? and will not officers obey, with a hundred times more alacrity, a military man, who like themselves has been signalized by his courage, rather than a mere man of the cabinet, who, whatever natural ability he may possess, can, at most, only guess at the operations of a campaign? I should not be displeased at my minister's generosity, even though it might sometimes embarrass a little the keeper of the royal treasure. I should desire him to have a facility in business, and that he should distinguish himself by that kind of gaiety of mind, which is the lot of men superior to business, which is so agreeable to the nation, and which renders the performance of every duty less irksome."

"If I were king of France," said the Huron, "this is the kind of minister I would choose for the war department. I would want someone of the highest rank, since he would need to give orders to the nobility. I would require that he has been an officer and has worked his way up through the ranks; or, at the very least, that he has reached the rank of Lieutenant General and is worthy of being a Marshal of France. To understand the details of the service, isn't it essential that he has served himself? And wouldn't officers obey a military man, who has proven himself through courage, with much more willingness than someone from the cabinet who, no matter how capable, can only imagine what a campaign entails? I wouldn't mind if my minister was generous, even if it sometimes caused a little trouble for the royal treasurer. I would want him to be good at handling business, and to stand out for that kind of cheerful mindset that is typical of those who excel beyond mere tasks, which is so pleasing to the nation and makes fulfilling every duty feel less burdensome."

This is the character he would have chosen for a minister, as he had constantly observed that such an amiable disposition is incompatible with cruelty.

This is the kind of person he would have picked for a minister, as he had always noticed that such a kind nature doesn't go together with cruelty.

Monsieur de Louvois would not, perhaps, have been satisfied with the Huron's wishes. His merit lay in a different walk. But whilst they were still at table, the disorder of the unhappy Miss St. Yves took a fatal turn. Her blood was on fire,—the symptoms of a malignant fever had appeared. She suffered, but did not complain, being unwilling to disturb the pleasure of the guests.

Monsieur de Louvois probably wouldn’t have agreed with the Huron's wishes. His strengths were in a different area. But while they were still at the table, the condition of the unfortunate Miss St. Yves took a serious turn. She was burning up with fever—symptoms of a severe illness had shown up. She was in pain but didn’t say anything, not wanting to ruin the guests' enjoyment.

Her brother, thinking that she was not asleep, went to the foot of her bed. He was astonished at the condition he found her in. Every body flew to her. Her lover appeared next to her brother. He was certainly the most alarmed, and the most affected of any one; but he had learned to unite discretion to all the happy gifts nature had bestowed upon him, and a quick sensibility of decorum began to prevail over him.

Her brother, thinking she was awake, went to the foot of her bed. He was shocked by her condition. Everyone rushed to her side. Her boyfriend appeared next to her brother. He was definitely the most worried and the most affected of anyone, but he had learned to combine discretion with all the great qualities nature had given him, and a strong sense of decorum started to take over.

A neighboring physician was immediately sent for. He was one of those itinerant doctors who confound the last disorder they were consulted upon with the present;—who follow a blind practice in a science from which the most mature investigations and careful observations do not preclude uncertainty and danger. He greatly increased the disorder by prescribing a fashionable nostrum. Can fashion extend to medicine? This frenzy was then too prevalent in Paris.

A nearby doctor was quickly called in. He was one of those traveling physicians who mix up the last illness they treated with the current one—who blindly follow trends in a medical field where even the most thorough research and careful observations can’t eliminate uncertainty and risk. He made the situation worse by recommending a trendy remedy. Can trends really apply to medicine? This madness was way too common in Paris at that time.

The grief of Miss St. Yves contributed still more than her physician to render her disorder fatal. Her body suffered martyrdom in the torments of her mind. The crowd of thoughts which agitated her breast, communicated to her veins a more dangerous poison than that of the most burning fever.

The sorrow of Miss St. Yves affected her condition even more than her doctor did, making it worse. Her body felt like it was being tortured by the anguish in her mind. The overwhelming thoughts that troubled her heart sent a more harmful poison through her veins than the most intense fever.


XX.

THE DEATH OF THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES AND WHAT FOLLOWED.

Another physician was called in. But, instead of assisting nature and leaving it to act in a young person whose organs recalled the vital stream, he applied himself solely to counteract the effects of his brother's prescription. The disorder, in two days, became mortal. The brain, which is thought to be the seat of the mind, was as violently affected as the heart, which, we are told, is the seat of the passions. By what incomprehensible mechanism are our organs held in subjection to sentiment and thought? How is it that a single melancholy idea shall disturb the whole course of the blood; and that the blood should in turn communicate irregularities to the human understanding? What is that unknown fluid which certainly exists and which, quicker and more active than light, flies in less than the twinkling of an eye into all the channels of life,—produces sensations, memory, joy or grief, reason or frenzy,—recalls with horror what we would choose to forget; and renders a thinking animal, either a subject of admiration, or an object of pity and compassion?

Another doctor was brought in. But instead of supporting nature and allowing it to take its course in a young person whose organs mirrored vitality, he focused solely on undoing the effects of his colleague's prescription. Within two days, the condition became fatal. The brain, seen as the center of thought, was just as severely impacted as the heart, which is considered the center of emotions. By what mysterious process are our organs controlled by feelings and thoughts? How can a single sad thought disrupt the entire flow of blood, and how does that blood then transmit irregularities to our mind? What is that unknown force that surely exists and, faster and more powerfully than light, rushes into every pathway of life in the blink of an eye—creating sensations, memories, joy or sorrow, reason or madness—forcing us to remember with dread what we wish we could forget; and transforming a thinking being into either a marvel or an object of sympathy and compassion?

These were the reflections of the good old Gordon; and these observations, so natural, which men seldom make, did not prevent his feeling upon this occasion; for he was not of the number of those gloomy philosophers who pique themselves upon being insensible.

These were the thoughts of the good old Gordon; and these observations, so natural, which people rarely make, didn't stop him from feeling in this situation; because he wasn't one of those gloomy philosophers who take pride in being unemotional.

He was affected at the fate of this young woman, like a father who sees his dear child yielding to a slow death. The Abbé de St. Yves was desperate; the prior and his sister shed floods of tears; but who could describe the situation of her lover? All expression falls far short of the intensity of his affliction.

He was deeply impacted by the fate of this young woman, like a father watching his beloved child succumb to a slow death. The Abbé de St. Yves was heartbroken; the prior and his sister cried uncontrollably; but who could capture what her lover was feeling? Words cannot begin to express the depth of his sorrow.

His aunt, almost lifeless, supported the head of the departing fair in her feeble arms; her brother was upon his knees at the foot of the bed; her lover squeezed her hand, which he bathed in tears; his groans rent the air, whilst he called her his guardian angel, his life, his hope, his better half, his mistress, his wife. At the word wife, a sigh escaped her, whilst she looked upon him with inexpressible tenderness, and then abruptly gave a horrid scream. Presently in one of those intervals when grief, the oppression of the senses, and pain subside and leave the soul its liberty and powers, she cried out:

His aunt, nearly lifeless, supported the head of the departing woman in her weak arms; her brother was on his knees at the foot of the bed; her lover held her hand, which he soaked in tears; his groans filled the air as he referred to her as his guardian angel, his life, his hope, his better half, his mistress, his wife. At the word "wife," a sigh escaped her, as she gazed at him with overwhelming tenderness, and then suddenly let out a horrifying scream. In one of those moments when grief, sensory overload, and pain fade, leaving the soul free and empowered, she cried out:

"I your wife? Ah! dear lover, this name, this happiness, this felicity, were not destined for me! I die, and I deserve it. O idol of my heart! O you, whom I sacrificed to infernal demons—it is done—I am punished—live and be happy!"

"I your wife? Ah! dear lover, this name, this happiness, this joy were not meant for me! I’m dying, and I deserve it. O idol of my heart! O you, whom I sacrificed to terrible demons—it’s over—I am punished—live and be happy!"

These tender but dreadful expressions were incomprehensible; yet they melted and terrified every heart. She had the courage to explain herself, and her auditors quaked with astonishment, grief, and pity. They with one voice detested the man in power, who repaired a shocking act of injustice only by his crimes, and who had forced the most amiable innocence to be his accomplice.

These painful yet haunting expressions were hard to understand; however, they managed to melt and terrify everyone’s heart. She had the courage to speak up, and her listeners were filled with shock, sadness, and sympathy. They all agreed in their hatred for the man in power, who tried to fix a terrible act of injustice only through his own crimes, and who had coerced the kindest innocence into being his partner in wrongdoing.

"Who? you guilty?" said her lover, "no, you are not. Guilt can only be in the heart;—yours is devoted solely to virtue and to me."

"Who? You feel guilty?" said her lover. "No, you don't. Guilt can only be in the heart; yours is dedicated entirely to virtue and to me."

This opinion he corroborated by such expressions as seemed to recall the beautiful Miss St. Yves back to life. She felt some consolation from them and was astonished at being still beloved. The aged Gordon would have condemned her at the time he was only a Jansenist; but having attained wisdom, he esteemed her, and wept.

This opinion was supported by words that seemed to bring the beautiful Miss St. Yves back to life. She felt some comfort from them and was amazed to still be loved. The elderly Gordon would have judged her when he was just a Jansenist; but having gained wisdom, he valued her and cried.

In the midst of these lamentations and fears, whilst the dangerous situation of this worthy girl engrossed every breast, and all were in the greatest consternation, a courier arrived from court.

In the middle of these cries and worries, while everyone was deeply concerned about the perilous situation of this deserving girl and panic filled the air, a courier arrived from the court.

"A courier? from whom, and upon what account?"

"A courier? From whom, and for what reason?"

He was sent by the king's confessor to the Prior of the Mountain. It was not Father de la Chaise who wrote, but brother Vadbled, his valet de chambre, a man of great consequence at that time, who acquainted the archbishops with the reverend Father's pleasure, who gave audiences, promised benefices, and sometimes issued lettres de cachet.

He was sent by the king's confessor to the Prior of the Mountain. It wasn't Father de la Chaise who wrote, but brother Vadbled, his personal servant, a man of significant importance at the time, who informed the archbishops of the reverend Father's wishes, who held meetings, promised positions, and sometimes issued lettres de cachet.

He wrote to the Abbé of the Mountain, "that his reverence had been informed of his nephew's exploits: that his being sent to prison was through mistake; that such little accidents frequently happened, and should therefore not be attended to; and, in fine, it behoved him, the prior, to come and present his nephew the next day: that he was to bring with him that good man Gordon; and that he, brother Vadbled, should introduce them to his reverence and M. de Louvois, who would say a word to them in his anti-chamber."

He wrote to the Abbé of the Mountain, "that he had heard about his nephew's actions: that his being sent to prison was a mistake; that these kinds of things happen often and shouldn’t be taken too seriously; and, in short, it was necessary for him, the prior, to come and introduce his nephew the next day: that he should bring along that good man Gordon; and that he, brother Vadbled, would introduce them to his reverence and M. de Louvois, who would speak to them in his anteroom."

To which he added, "that the history of the Huron, and his combat against the English, had been related to the king; that doubtless the king would deign to take notice of him in passing through the gallery, and perhaps he might even nod his head to him."

To which he added, "that the history of the Huron and his fight against the English had been shared with the king; that surely the king would notice him while walking through the gallery, and maybe he might even give him a nod."

The letter concluded by flattering him with hopes that all the ladies of the court would show their eagerness to recognize his nephew; and that several among them would say to him, "Good day, Mr. Huron;" and that he would certainly be talked of at the king's supper.

The letter ended by flattering him with hopes that all the ladies at court would be eager to acknowledge his nephew; and that a few of them would greet him with, "Good day, Mr. Huron;" and that he would definitely be the topic of conversation at the king's dinner.

The letter was signed, "Your affectionate brother Jesuit, Vadbled."

The letter was signed, "Your loving brother, Jesuit Vadbled."

The prior having read the letter aloud, his furious nephew for an instant suppressed his rage, and said nothing to the bearer: but turning toward the companion of his misfortunes, asked him, what he thought of that communication? Gordon replied:

The prior read the letter aloud, and his furious nephew momentarily held back his anger and said nothing to the messenger. But turning to his friend who shared in his troubles, he asked what he thought of that message. Gordon replied:

"This, then, is the way that men are treated! They are first beaten and then, like monkeys, they dance."

"This is how men are treated! They get beaten first and then, like monkeys, they dance."

The Huron resuming his character, which always returned in the great emotions of his soul, tore the letter to bits, and threw them in the courier's face:

The Huron, getting back to his true self, which always showed up during strong emotions, ripped the letter to shreds and threw the pieces in the courier's face.

"There is my answer," said he.

"Here’s my answer," he said.

Death of Miss St. Ives. Death of Miss St. Ives.—"When the tragic moment arrived, everyone around her expressed their sorrow through constant tears and wailing. The Huron was unconscious. Great souls experience more intense feelings than those with less sensitive natures."

His uncle was in terror, and fancied he saw thunderbolts, and twenty lettres de cachet at once fall upon him. He immediately wrote the best excuse he could for these transports of passion in a young man, which he considered as the ebullition of a great soul.

His uncle was terrified and imagined he saw thunderbolts and twenty lettres de cachet coming down on him all at once. He quickly wrote the best excuse he could for these outbursts of emotion in a young man, which he thought were just the expressions of a passionate spirit.

But a solicitude of a more melancholy stamp now seized every heart. The beautiful and unfortunate Miss St. Yves was already sensible of her approaching end; she was serene, but it was that kind of shocking serenity, the result of exhausted nature being no longer able to withstand the conflict.

But a more melancholic worry now gripped every heart. The beautiful and unfortunate Miss St. Yves was already aware of her impending end; she was calm, but it was that unsettling kind of calm, the result of her exhausted body no longer able to handle the struggle.

"Oh, my dear lover!" said she, in a faltering voice, "death punishes me for my weakness; but I expire with the consolation of knowing you are free. I adored you whilst I betrayed you, and I adore you in bidding you an eternal adieu."

"Oh, my dear love!" she said, her voice trembling, "death is punishing me for my weakness; but I die with the comfort of knowing you are free. I loved you even while I betrayed you, and I love you as I say an eternal goodbye."

She did not make a parade of a ridiculous fortitude; she did not understand that miserable glory of having some of her neighbors say, "she died with courage." Who, at twenty, can be at once torn from her lover, from life, and what is called honor, without regret, without some pangs? She felt all the horror of her situation, and made it felt by those expiring looks and accents which speak with so much energy. In a word, she shed tears like other people at those intervals that she was capable of giving vent to them.

She didn't put on a show of ridiculous bravery; she didn't get the miserable thrill of having some neighbors say, "she died courageously." Who, at twenty, can be ripped away from her lover, from life, and what people call honor, without feeling regret, without experiencing some pain? She fully understood the horror of her situation, and it showed in her desperate looks and tones that conveyed so much emotion. In short, she cried like anyone else during the moments when she could allow herself to.

Let others strive to celebrate the pompous deaths of those who insensibly rush into destruction. This is the lot of all animals. We die like them only when age or disorders make us resemble them by the paralysis of our organs. Whoever suffers a great loss must feel great regrets. If they are stifled, it is nothing but vanity that is pursued, even in the arms of death.

Let others try to celebrate the grand deaths of those who thoughtlessly rush into ruin. This is the fate of all creatures. We only die like them when age or illness turns us into them by weakening our bodies. Anyone who experiences a significant loss must feel deep regrets. If those regrets are suppressed, it’s just vanity that is chased, even in the face of death.

When the fatal moment came, all around her most feelingly expressed their grief by incessant tears and lamentations. The Huron was senseless. Great souls feel more violent sensations than those of less tender dispositions. The good old Gordon knew enough of his companion to dread that when he came to himself he would be guilty of suicide. All kinds of arms were put out of his way, which the unfortunate young man perceived. He said to his relations and Gordon, without shedding any tears, without a groan, or the least emotion:

When the tragic moment arrived, everyone around her expressed their sorrow through constant tears and cries of grief. The Huron was in shock. People with strong emotions often feel things more intensely than those who are less sensitive. The kind old Gordon understood his friend well enough to worry that when he regained his senses, he might take his own life. All sorts of weapons were kept out of his reach, which the unfortunate young man noticed. He spoke to his family and Gordon, without shedding a tear, without a sound, or any sign of emotion:

"Do you then think that any one upon earth hath the right and power to prevent my putting an end to my life?"

"Do you really think anyone on earth has the right and ability to stop me from ending my own life?"

Gordon took care to avoid making a parade of those commonplace declamations and arguments which are relied on to prove that we are not allowed to exercise our liberty in ceasing to be when we are in a wretched situation; that we should not leave the house when we can no longer remain in it; that a man is like a soldier at his post; as if it signified to the Being of beings whether the conjunction of the particles of matter were in one spot or another. Impotent reasons, to which a firm and concentrated despair disdains to listen, and to which Cato replied only with the use of a poniard.

Gordon made sure to avoid the usual speeches and arguments that people use to claim that we can't choose to end our suffering when we're in a terrible situation; that we shouldn't leave our place when we can no longer stay there; that a man is like a soldier at his post; as if it mattered to the supreme Being whether the particles of matter were in one place or another. Weak justifications, which a strong and focused despair refuses to acknowledge, and to which Cato responded only with a dagger.

The Huron's sullen and dreadful silence, his doleful aspect, his trembling lips, and the shivering of his whole frame, communicated to every spectator's soul that mixture of compassion and terror, which fetters all our powers, precludes discourse, or compels us to speak only in faltering accents. The hostess and her family were excited. They trembled to behold the state of his desperation, yet all kept their eyes upon him, and attended to all his motions. The ice-cold corpse of the beautiful Miss St. Yves had already been carried into a lower hall out of the sight of her lover, who seemed still in search of it, though incapable of observing any object.

The Huron's gloomy and terrifying silence, his sad expression, his trembling lips, and the shaking of his whole body conveyed to everyone watching a mix of pity and fear that immobilizes us, makes it hard to speak, or forces us to talk in shaky voices. The hostess and her family were on edge. They shuddered at the sight of his despair, yet all kept their eyes on him and paid attention to everything he did. The ice-cold body of the beautiful Miss St. Yves had already been taken to a lower hall, out of sight of her lover, who seemed still to be searching for her, even though he couldn't focus on anything.

In the midst of this spectacle of death, whilst the dead body was exposed at the door of the house; whilst two priests by the side of the holy water-pot were repeating prayers with an air of distraction; whilst some passengers, through idleness, sprinkled the bier with some drops of holy water, and others went their ways quite indifferent; whilst her relations were drowned in tears, and every one thought the lover would not survive his loss;—in this situation St. Pouange arrived with his female Versailles friend.

In the middle of this scene of death, with the dead body laid out at the door of the house; while two priests beside the holy water pot were mumbling prayers, looking distracted; while some passersby, out of boredom, sprinkled a few drops of holy water on the coffin, and others walked by completely unconcerned; while her relatives were in tears, and everyone believed the lover wouldn't make it through this loss;—in this situation, St. Pouange arrived with his female friend from Versailles.

He alighted from his coach; and the first object that presented itself was a bier: he turned away his eyes with that simple distaste of a man bred up in pleasures, and who thinks he should avoid a spectacle which might recall him to the contemplation of human misery. He is inclined to go up stairs, whilst his female friend enquires through curiosity whose funeral it is. The name of Miss St. Yves is pronounced. At this name she turned, and gave a piercing shriek. St. Pouange now returns, whilst surprise and grief possess his soul. The good old Gordon stood with streaming eyes. He for a moment ceased his lamentations, to acquaint the courtier with all the circumstances of this melancholy catastrophe. He spoke with that authority which is the companion to sorrow and virtue. St. Pouange was not naturally wicked. The torrent of business and amusements had hurried away his soul, which was not yet acquainted with itself. He did not border upon that grey age which usually hardens the hearts of ministers. He listened to Gordon with a downcast look, and some tears escaped him, which he was surprised to shed. In a word, he repented.

He got out of his carriage, and the first thing he saw was a funeral bier. He quickly looked away, feeling a simple distaste typical of someone raised in comfort who thinks they should avoid a sight that reminds them of human suffering. He was leaning towards going upstairs when his female companion, curious, asked whose funeral it was. When she heard the name Miss St. Yves, she gasped and let out a piercing scream. St. Pouange returned, filled with surprise and grief. The old Gordon stood there, tears streaming down his face. He paused his lamenting to tell the courtier all the details of this tragic event. He spoke with a weight that comes from sorrow and virtue. St. Pouange wasn't inherently bad. The rush of work and entertainment had distracted his soul, which was still unfamiliar with itself. He wasn't at that gray age that usually toughens the hearts of leaders. He listened to Gordon with a lowered gaze, some tears escaping him unexpectedly. In short, he felt regret.

"I will," said he, "absolutely see this extraordinary man you have mentioned to me. He affects me almost as much as this innocent victim, whose death I have occasioned."

"I will," he said, "definitely meet this remarkable man you told me about. He impacts me almost as much as this innocent victim, whose death I caused."

Gordon followed him as far as the chamber in which the Prior Kerkabon, the Abbé St. Yves, and some neighbors, were striving to recall to life the young man, who had again fainted.

Gordon followed him to the room where Prior Kerkabon, Abbé St. Yves, and a few neighbors were trying to bring the young man, who had fainted again, back to life.

"I have been the cause of your misfortunes," said the deputy minister, when the Huron had regained consciousness, "and my whole life shall be employed in making reparation for my error."

"I caused your misfortunes," said the deputy minister when the Huron regained consciousness, "and I will spend my entire life making up for my mistake."

The first idea that struck the Huron was to kill him and then destroy himself. But he was without arms, and closely watched. St. Pouange was not repulsed with refusals accompanied with reproach, contempt, and the insults he deserved, which were lavished upon him. Time softens everything. Mons. de Louvois at length succeeded in making an excellent officer of the Huron, who has appeared under another name at Paris and in the army, respected by all honest men, being at once a warrior and an intrepid philosopher.

The first thought that came to the Huron was to kill him and then take his own life. But he was unarmed and closely monitored. St. Pouange didn't face rejections mixed with scorn, disdain, and the insults he deserved, which were thrown at him. Time heals all wounds. Eventually, Mr. de Louvois managed to transform the Huron into an excellent officer, who later appeared under a different name in Paris and the army, earning the respect of all good people, being both a warrior and a fearless thinker.

He never mentioned this adventure without being greatly affected, and yet his greatest consolation was to speak of it. He cherished the memory of his beloved Miss St. Yves to the last moment of his life.[1]

He never talked about this adventure without being deeply moved, and yet his biggest comfort was discussing it. He held onto the memory of his beloved Miss St. Yves until the very end of his life.[1]

The Abbé St. Yves and the Prior were each provided with good livings. The good Kerkabon rather chose to see his nephew invested with military honors than in the sub-deaconry. The devotee of Versailles kept the diamond earrings, and received besides a handsome present. Father Tout-à-tous had presents of chocolate, coffee, and confectionery, with the Meditations of the Reverend Father Croiset, and the Flower of the Saints, bound in Morocco. Good old Gordon lived with the Huron till his death, in the most friendly intimacy: he had also a benefice, and forgot, forever, essential grace, and the concomitant concourse. He took for his motto, "Misfortunes are of some use." How many worthy people are there in the world who may justly say, "Misfortunes are good for nothing?"

The Abbé St. Yves and the Prior were each given good positions. The good Kerkabon preferred to see his nephew earn military honors rather than take on the sub-deaconry. The devotee of Versailles kept the diamond earrings and also received a nice gift. Father Tout-à-tous got gifts of chocolate, coffee, and sweets, along with the Meditations of the Reverend Father Croiset and the Flower of the Saints, bound in Morocco. Good old Gordon lived with the Huron until his death, in the closest friendship: he also had a benefice and completely forgot about essential grace and the accompanying concourse. He chose as his motto, "Misfortunes are of some use." How many good people in the world can rightly say, "Misfortunes are of no use?"

[1] In the Play, Civilization, the Huron musingly soliloquizes:

[1] In the play, Civilization, the Huron reflects thoughtfully:

"And what is love to man? An only gift
Too precious to be idly thrown away!
For is it not as precious as our land,
Which, heeding not another's golden sky—
Soft airs, sweet flowers, hill and dale conjoin'd
By nature's cunning past comparison—
Is still our land; and, as our land, surpasses
Far such fairy worlds?

"And what does love mean to a man? A special gift."
Too valuable to waste!
Is it not as valuable as our land,
Which, without concern for someone else's golden sky—
Gentle breezes, beautiful flowers, and rolling hills together.
Through nature's unmatched clever design—
It is still our land, and just like our land, it surpasses.
Is there more to these enchanting worlds?

"There are some dreams that last a life—mine
Is one of these. I shall dream on till death
Shall end the vision!

"There are some dreams that last a lifetime—like mine."
Is one of them. I'll keep dreaming until I die.
"Vision ends!"

"It is not hard to die! And life is but
A shadow on the wall—a falling leaf
Toy'd with by autumn winds—a flower—a star
Among the infinite, infinitesimal!
We are but breath whispering against the wind,—
Sand in the desert!—dew upon the sea!"—E.

"Dying isn't difficult! And life is just
A shadow on the wall—a drifting leaf
Tossed by the autumn winds—a flower—a star
Among the endless little things!
We're just a breath carried by the wind,—
"Sand in the desert!—dew on the sea!"—E.



MICROMEGAS:

A SATIRE ON THE PHILOSOPHY, IGNORANCE. AND SELF-CONCEIT OF MANKIND.


A medieval exploring vessel. A medieval exploration ship. [1]

I.

A JOURNEY TO THE PLANET SATURN, BY A RESIDENT OF SIRIUS.

In one of the planets that revolve round the star known by the name of Sirius, was a certain young gentleman of promising parts, whom I had the honor to be acquainted with in his last voyage to this our little ant-hill. His name was Micromegas, an appellation admirably suited to all great men, and his stature amounted to eight leagues in height, that is, twenty-four thousand geometrical paces of five feet each.

In one of the planets orbiting the star called Sirius, there was a young man with great potential, whom I had the pleasure of meeting on his recent journey to our little ant hill. His name was Micromegas, a name perfectly fitting for all great people, and he stood eight leagues tall, which is twenty-four thousand feet when measured in five-foot increments.

Some of your mathematicians, a set of people always useful to the public, will, perhaps, instantly seize the pen, and calculate that Mr. Micromegas, inhabitant of the country of Sirius, being from head to foot four and twenty thousand paces in length, making one hundred and twenty thousand royal feet, that we, denizens of this earth, being at a medium little more than five feet high, and our globe nine thousand leagues in circumference: these things being premised, they will then conclude that the periphery of the globe which produced him must be exactly one and twenty millions six hundred thousand times greater than that of this our tiny ball. Nothing in nature is more simple and common. The dominions of some sovereigns of Germany or Italy, which may be compassed in half an hour, when compared with the empires of Ottoman, Russia, or China, are no other than faint instances of the prodigious difference that nature hath made in the scale of beings. The stature of his excellency being of these extraordinary dimensions, all our artists will agree that the measure around his body might amount to fifty thousand royal feet—a very agreeable and just proportion.

Some of your mathematicians, who are always helpful to society, will probably jump in and calculate that Mr. Micromegas, a resident of the country of Sirius, is twenty-four thousand paces tall, which is one hundred and twenty thousand royal feet. Meanwhile, we inhabitants of this Earth are on average just over five feet tall, and our planet has a circumference of nine thousand leagues. With this in mind, they'll conclude that the circumference of the world that created him must be exactly twenty-one million six hundred thousand times greater than that of our little globe. Nothing in nature is simpler or more common. The territories of some rulers in Germany or Italy, which can be crossed in half an hour, are just faint examples of the huge differences nature has made in the scale of beings. Given his extraordinary size, all our artists would agree that his body might measure around fifty thousand royal feet in circumference—a very pleasing and accurate proportion.

His nose being equal in length to one-third of his face, and his jolly countenance engrossing one-seventh part of his height, it must be owned that the nose of this same Sirian was six thousand three hundred and thirty-three royal feet to a hair, which was to be demonstrated. With regard to his understanding, it is one of the best cultivated I have known. He is perfectly well acquainted with abundance of things, some of which are of his own invention; for, when his age did not exceed two hundred and fifty years, he studied, according to the custom of the country, at the most celebrated university of the whole planet, and by the force of his genius discovered upwards of fifty propositions of Euclid, having the advantage by more than eighteen of Blaise Pascal, who, (as we are told by his own sister,) demonstrated two and thirty for his amusement and then left off, choosing rather to be an indifferent philosopher than a great mathematician.

His nose was one-third the length of his face, and his cheerful expression took up one-seventh of his height. It must be noted that this same Sirian had a nose that measured exactly six thousand three hundred and thirty-three royal feet, to be proven. As for his intellect, it’s one of the most well-developed I’ve encountered. He knows a great deal about many topics, some of which he invented himself. When he was just two hundred and fifty years old, he attended the most renowned university on the planet, as was customary in his culture, and through his brilliance, he discovered over fifty of Euclid's propositions, surpassing Blaise Pascal by more than eighteen, who (as his sister tells us) proved thirty-two for fun before quitting, preferring to be an average philosopher rather than an exceptional mathematician.

About the four hundred and fiftieth year of his age, or latter end of his childhood, he dissected a great number of small insects not more than one hundred feet in diameter, which are not perceivable by ordinary microscopes, of which he composed a very curious treatise, which involved him in some trouble. The mufti of the nation, though very old and very ignorant, made shift to discover in his book certain lemmas that were suspicious, unseemly, rash, heretic, and unsound, and prosecuted him with great animosity, for the subject of the author's inquiry was whether, in the world of Sirius, there was any difference between the substantial forms of a flea and a snail.

Around the age of four hundred and fifty, or towards the end of his childhood, he studied a large number of tiny insects no larger than one hundred feet in diameter, which can't be seen with regular microscopes. He wrote a fascinating treatise about them, which caused him some trouble. The nation's mufti, despite being very old and quite ignorant, managed to find some suspicious, inappropriate, rash, heretical, and unsound points in his book and pursued him with great hostility, as the author's investigation questioned whether there was any difference between the essential forms of a flea and a snail in the world of Sirius.

Micromegas defended his philosophy with such spirit as made all the female sex his proselytes; and the process lasted two hundred and twenty years; at the end of which time, in consequence of the mufti's interest, the book was condemned by judges who had never read it, and the author expelled from court for the term of eight hundred years.

Micromegas passionately advocated for his philosophy, winning over all women to his side; this continued for two hundred and twenty years. Eventually, due to the mufti's influence, the book was banned by judges who had never even read it, and the author was kicked out of court for eight hundred years.

Not much affected at his banishment from a court that teemed with nothing but turmoils and trifles, he made a very humorous song upon the mufti, who gave himself no trouble about the matter, and set out on his travels from planet to planet, in order (as the saying is) to improve his mind and finish his education. Those who never travel but in a post-chaise or berlin, will, doubtless, be astonished at the equipages used above; for we that strut upon this little mole hill are at a loss to conceive anything that surpasses our own customs. But our traveler was a wonderful adept in the laws of gravitation, together with the whole force of attraction and repulsion, and made such seasonable use of his knowledge, that sometimes by the help of a sunbeam, and sometimes by the convenience of a comet, he and his retinue glided from sphere to sphere, as the bird hops from one bough to another. He in a very little time posted through the milky way, and I am obliged to own he saw not a twinkle of those stars supposed to adorn that fair empyrean, which the illustrious Dr. Derham brags to have observed through his telescope. Not that I pretend to say the doctor was mistaken. God forbid! But Micromegas was upon the spot, an exceeding good observer, and I have no mind to contradict any man. Be that as it may, after many windings and turnings, he arrived at the planet Saturn; and, accustomed as he was to the sight of novelties, he could not for his life repress a supercilious and conceited smile, which often escapes the wisest philosopher, when he perceived the smallness of that globe, and the diminutive size of its inhabitants; for really Saturn is but about nine hundred times larger than this our earth, and the people of that country mere dwarfs, about a thousand fathoms high. In short, he at first derided those poor pigmies, just as an Indian fiddler laughs at the music of Lully, at his first arrival in Paris: but as this Sirian was a person of good sense, he soon perceived that a thinking being may not be altogether ridiculous, even though he is not quite six thousand feet high; and therefore he became familiar with them, after they had ceased to wonder at his extraordinary appearance. In particular, he contracted an intimate friendship with the secretary of the Academy of Saturn, a man of good understanding, who, though in truth he had invented nothing of his own, gave a very good account of the inventions of others, and enjoyed in peace the reputation of a little poet and great calculator. And here, for the edification of the reader, I will repeat a very singular conversation that one day passed between Mr. Secretary and Micromegas.

Not too affected by his banishment from a court filled with nothing but chaos and trivial matters, he wrote a funny song about the mufti, who didn’t seem to care about it, and set off on his travels from planet to planet, as the saying goes, to broaden his mind and finish his education. Those who only travel in a coach or luxury vehicle will surely be surprised by the means of transport used above; for those of us who strut on this tiny hill struggle to imagine anything beyond our own customs. However, our traveler was exceptionally skilled in the laws of gravity, along with all forces of attraction and repulsion, and made such clever use of his knowledge that sometimes with the help of a sunbeam and sometimes thanks to a comet, he and his entourage glided from one sphere to another, just like a bird hops from branch to branch. In no time, he sped through the Milky Way, and I must admit he didn’t see a glimmer of those stars said to light up that beautiful sky, which the notable Dr. Derham boasts about observing through his telescope. Not that I claim the doctor was wrong. God forbid! But Micromegas was there, a truly great observer, and I have no desire to contradict anyone. Regardless, after many twists and turns, he arrived at the planet Saturn; and used to seeing new things, he couldn't help but show a smug and arrogant smile, which even the wisest philosophers sometimes can’t hide, when he noticed the tiny size of that globe and its little inhabitants; after all, Saturn is only about nine hundred times larger than our Earth, and its people are mere dwarfs, around a thousand fathoms tall. In short, he initially mocked those poor tiny beings, just as an Indian fiddler laughs at Lully’s music when he first arrives in Paris. But since this Sirian was a sensible fellow, he soon realized that a thinking being might not be completely ridiculous even if they’re not quite six thousand feet tall; and so he became friendly with them after they got used to his unusual appearance. In particular, he developed a close friendship with the secretary of the Academy of Saturn, a man of good sense who, although he hadn’t come up with anything of his own, could explain the inventions of others well and enjoyed being known as a little poet and great mathematician. And here, for the reader's interest, I’ll share a very unique conversation that took place one day between Mr. Secretary and Micromegas.

[1] The Gazettes record that this vessel ran ashore on the coast of Bothnia, when returning from the polar circle with a party of philosophers on board who had been making observations, for which nobody has hitherto been the wiser; but, according to this romance, the vessel was illegally captured in the Baltic sea by the Sirian giant Micromegas and the Saturnian dwarf.—E.

[1] The gazettes report that this ship ran aground on the coast of Bothnia while returning from the polar circle with a group of philosophers who had been making observations that nobody has benefited from; however, according to this story, the ship was illegally seized in the Baltic Sea by the Sirian giant Micromegas and the Saturnian dwarf.—E.


II.

THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN MICROMEGAS AND THE SATURNIAN INHABITANT.

His excellency having laid himself down, and the secretary approached his nose:

His excellency lay down, and the secretary approached his nose:

"It must be confessed," said Micromegas, "that nature is full of variety."

"It has to be admitted," said Micromegas, "that nature is full of variety."

"Yes," replied the Saturnian, "nature is like a parterre, whose flowers—"

"Yes," replied the Saturnian, "nature is like a garden, whose flowers—"

"Pshaw!" cried the other, "a truce with your parterres."

"Pshaw!" the other exclaimed, "let's put a stop to your flower beds."

"It is," resumed the secretary, "like an assembly of fair and brown women, whose dresses—"

"It is," continued the secretary, "like a gathering of fair and brown women, whose dresses—"

"What a plague have I to do with your brunettes?" said our traveler.

"What do I care about your brunettes?" said our traveler.

"Then it is like a gallery of pictures, the strokes of which—"

"Then it’s like a gallery of pictures, the strokes of which—"

"Not at all," answered Micromegas, "I tell you once for all, nature is like nature, and comparisons are odious."

"Not at all," replied Micromegas, "I’ll tell you this once and for all, nature is just nature, and comparisons are unpleasant."

"Well, to please you," said the secretary—

"Well, to make you happy," said the secretary—

"I won't be pleased," replied the Sirian, "I want to be instructed; begin, therefore, without further preamble, and tell me how many senses the people of this world enjoy."

"I won't be happy," replied the Sirian, "I want to be taught; so please start right away and tell me how many senses the people in this world have."

"We have seventy and two," said the academician, "but we are daily complaining of the small number, as our imagination transcends our wants, for, with the seventy-two senses, our five moons and ring, we find ourselves very much restricted; and notwithstanding our curiosity, and the no small number of those passions that result from these few senses, we have still time enough to be tired of idleness."

"We have seventy-two," said the academician, "but we complain every day about how few we have, since our imagination exceeds our needs. With these seventy-two senses, our five moons, and the ring, we feel pretty limited. And despite our curiosity and the many passions that arise from these few senses, we still have plenty of time to get bored with doing nothing."

"I sincerely believe what you say," cried Micromegas "for, though we Sirians have near a thousand different senses, there still remains a certain vague desire, an unaccountable inquietude incessantly admonishing us of our own unimportance, and giving us to understand that there are other beings who are much our superiors in point of perfection. I have traveled a little, and seen mortals both above and below myself in the scale of being, but I have met with none who had not more desire than necessity, and more want than gratification. Perhaps I shall one day arrive in some country where nought is wanting, but hitherto I have had no certain information of such a happy land."

"I truly believe what you're saying," exclaimed Micromegas. "Even though we Sirians have nearly a thousand different senses, there's still this vague feeling, an inexplicable restlessness that constantly reminds us of our own unimportance and makes us aware that there are other beings who are far superior to us in terms of perfection. I've traveled a bit and encountered humans both above and below me on the scale of existence, but I haven't met anyone who didn't have more desire than they had needs and more wants than they had satisfaction. Maybe one day I'll reach a place where nothing is lacking, but so far, I haven't come across any reliable information about such a wonderful land."

The Saturnian and his guest exhausted themselves in conjectures upon this subject, and after abundance of argumentation equally ingenious and uncertain, were fain to return to matter of fact.

The Saturnian and his guest wore themselves out trying to guess about this topic, and after a lot of clever but uncertain arguments, they were forced to return to the facts.

"To what age do you commonly live?" said the Sirian.

"How old do you usually live to?" said the Sirian.

"Lack-a-day! a mere trifle," replied the little gentleman.

"Oh dear! just a small thing," replied the little gentleman.

"It is the very same case with us," resumed the other, "the shortness of life is our daily complaint, so that this must be an universal law in nature."

"It’s the same for us," the other continued, "we complain about how short life is every day, so this must be a universal law of nature."

"Alas!" cried the Saturnian, "few, very few on this globe outlive five hundred great revolutions of the sun; (these, according to our way of reckoning, amount to about fifteen thousand years.) So, you see, we in a manner begin to die the very moment we are born: our existence is no more than a point, our duration an instant, and our globe an atom. Scarce do we begin to learn a little, when death intervenes before we can profit by experience. For my own part, I am deterred from laying schemes when I consider myself as a single drop in the midst of an immense ocean. I am particularly ashamed, in your presence, of the ridiculous figure I make among my fellow-creatures."

"Alas!" cried the Saturnian, "very few people on this planet live beyond five hundred complete revolutions of the sun; (which, by our calculations, is about fifteen thousand years.) So, you see, we kind of start to die the moment we are born: our existence is just a point, our duration a blink, and our planet a speck. Hardly do we begin to learn a little before death steps in, leaving us no time to benefit from our experiences. For my part, I hesitate to make plans when I think of myself as just one drop in the vast ocean. I feel especially embarrassed, in your presence, about how ridiculous I seem compared to my fellow beings."

To this declaration, Micromegas replied.

Micromegas responded to this declaration.

"If you were not a philosopher, I should be afraid of mortifying your pride by telling you that the term of our lives is seven hundred times longer than the date of your existence: but you are very sensible that when the texture of the body is resolved, in order to reanimate nature in another form, which is the consequence of what we call death—when that moment of change arrives, there is not the least difference betwixt having lived a whole eternity, or a single day. I have been in some countries where the people live a thousand times longer than with us, and yet they murmured at the shortness of their time. But one will find every where some few persons of good sense, who know how to make the best of their portion, and thank the author of nature for his bounty. There is a profusion of variety scattered through the universe, and yet there is an admirable vein of uniformity that runs through the whole: for example, all thinking beings are different among themselves, though at bottom they resemble one another in the powers and passions of the soul. Matter, though interminable, hath different properties in every sphere. How many principal attributes do you reckon in the matter of this world?"

"If you weren't a philosopher, I would worry about bruising your pride by telling you that our lifespans are seven hundred times longer than yours: but you're well aware that when the body's structure breaks down to allow nature to take a different form, which we refer to as death—when that moment of change comes, there's no real difference between having lived an eternity or just a day. I've been to some places where people live a thousand times longer than we do, and yet they still complained about the brevity of their lives. However, you'll always find a few sensible people who know how to make the most of their time and appreciate nature's gifts. There's a wealth of variety spread throughout the universe, yet there is also a remarkable consistency that runs through everything: for instance, all thinking beings are unique from one another, but deep down, they share similar powers and emotions. Matter, while infinite, has different properties in every realm. How many key characteristics do you think exist in the matter of this world?"

"If you mean those properties," said the Saturnian, "without which we believe this our globe could not subsist, we reckon in all three hundred, such as extent, impenetrability, motion, gravitation, divisibility, et cætera."

"If you’re talking about those properties," said the Saturnian, "that we believe our planet couldn’t exist without, we count three hundred in total, like size, impenetrability, movement, gravity, divisibility, and so on."

"That small number," replied the traveler, "probably answers the views of the creator on this your narrow sphere. I adore his wisdom in all his works. I see infinite variety, but every where proportion. Your globe is small: so are the inhabitants. You have few sensations; because your matter is endued with few properties. These are the works of unerring providence. Of what color does your sun appear when accurately examined?"

"That small number," replied the traveler, "probably reflects the creator's perspective on your limited world. I admire his wisdom in all his creations. I see endless variety, but it’s all balanced. Your planet is small, and so are its inhabitants. You have limited sensations because your substance has few properties. These are the result of infallible guidance. What color does your sun look like when closely examined?"

"Of a yellowish white," answered the Saturnian, "and in separating one of his rays we find it contains seven colors."

"Of a yellowish white," replied the Saturnian, "and when we separate one of its rays, we see it contains seven colors."

"Our sun," said the Sirian, "is of a reddish hue, and we have no less than thirty-nine original colors. Among all the suns I have seen there is no sort of resemblance, and in this sphere of yours there is not one face like another."

"Our sun," said the Sirian, "is reddish, and we have at least thirty-nine original colors. Among all the suns I've seen, none look alike, and in your sphere, there isn't a single face that looks the same as another."

After divers questions of this nature, he asked how many substances, essentially different, they counted in the world of Saturn; and understood that they numbered but thirty: such as God; space; matter; beings endowed with sense and extension; beings that have extension, sense, and reflection; thinking beings who have no extension; those that are penetrable; those that are impenetrable, and also all others. But this Saturnian philosopher was prodigiously astonished when the Sirian told him they had no less than three hundred, and that he himself had discovered three thousand more in the course of his travels. In short, after having communicated to each other what they knew, and even what they did not know, and argued during a complete revolution of the sun, they resolved to set out together on a small philosophical tour.

After various questions like this, he asked how many fundamentally different substances they recognized in the world of Saturn; he learned that they counted only thirty, including God, space, matter, beings with sense and extension, beings with extension, sense, and reflection, thinking beings without extension, those that are penetrable, those that are impenetrable, and all others. However, this Saturnian philosopher was incredibly astonished when the Sirian told him they had at least three hundred and that he himself had discovered three thousand more during his travels. In short, after sharing everything they knew, and even what they didn't know, and debating throughout a full revolution of the sun, they decided to embark together on a small philosophical journey.


III.

THE JOURNEY OF THESE INHABITANTS FROM OTHER WORLDS.

Our two philosophers were just ready to embark for the atmosphere of Saturn, with a large provision of mathematical instruments, when the Saturnian's mistress, having got an inkling of their design, came all in tears to make her protests. She was a handsome brunette, though not above six hundred and threescore fathoms high; but her agreeable attractions made amends for the smallness of her stature.

Our two philosophers were just about to head off to the atmosphere of Saturn, equipped with a bunch of mathematical tools, when the Saturnian's girlfriend, having caught wind of their plan, came crying to object. She was a beautiful brunette, even though she was only around six hundred and sixty fathoms tall; however, her charming features made up for her short stature.

"Ah! cruel man," cried she, "after a courtship of fifteen hundred years, when at length I surrendered, and became your wife, and scarce have passed two hundred more in thy embraces, to leave me thus, before the honeymoon is over, and go a rambling with a giant of another world! Go, go, thou art a mere virtuoso, devoid of tenderness and love! If thou wert a true Saturnian, thou wouldst be faithful and invariable. Ah! whither art thou going? what is thy design? Our five moons are not so inconstant, nor our ring so changeable as thee! But take this along with thee, henceforth I ne'er shall love another man."

"Ah! cruel man," she cried, "after being courted for fifteen hundred years, when I finally surrendered and became your wife, and barely two hundred years have passed in your embrace, you leave me like this, before the honeymoon is even over, to wander off with a giant from another world! Go, go, you’re just a show-off, lacking any tenderness or love! If you were a true Saturnian, you would be faithful and constant. Ah! where are you going? What’s your plan? Our five moons aren’t so unpredictable, nor our rings so changeable as you! But take this with you: from now on, I will never love another man."

The little gentleman embraced and wept over her, notwithstanding his philosophy; and the lady, after having swooned with great decency, went to console herself with more agreeable company.

The little gentleman hugged her and cried, despite his philosophical views; and the lady, after fainting quite gracefully, went off to find comfort with more pleasant company.

Meanwhile our two virtuosi set out, and at one jump leaped upon the ring, which they found pretty flat, according to the ingenious guess of an illustrious inhabitant of this our little earth. From thence they easily slipped from moon to moon; and a comet chancing to pass, they sprang upon it with all their servants and apparatus. Thus carried about one hundred and fifty million of leagues, they met with the satellites of Jupiter, and arrived upon the body of the planet itself, where they continued a whole year; during which they learned some very curious secrets, which would actually be sent to the press, were it not for fear of the gentlemen inquisitors, who have found among them some corollaries very hard of digestion. Nevertheless, I have read the manuscript in the library of the illustrious archbishop of —— who, with that generosity and goodness which should ever be commended, has granted me permission to peruse his books; wherefore I promise he shall have a long article in the next edition of Moreri, and I shall not forget the young gentlemen, his sons, who give us such pleasing hopes of seeing perpetuated the race of their illustrious father. But to return to our travelers. When they took leave of Jupiter, they traversed a space of about one hundred millions of leagues, and coasting along the planet Mars, which is well known to be five times smaller than our little earth, they descried two moons subservient to that orb, which have escaped the observation of all our astronomers. I know father Castel will write, and that pleasantly enough, against the existence of these two moons; but I entirely refer myself to those who reason by analogy. Those worthy philosophers are very sensible that Mars, which is at such a distance from the sun, must be in a very uncomfortable situation, without the benefit of a couple of moons. Be that as it may, our gentlemen found the planet so small, that they were afraid they should not find room to take a little repose; so that they pursued their journey like two travelers who despise the paltry accommodation of a village, and push forward to the next market town. But the Sirian and his companion soon repented of their delicacy, for they journeyed a long time without finding a resting place, till at length they discerned a small speck, which was the Earth. Coming from Jupiter, they could not but be moved with compassion at the sight of this miserable spot, upon which, however, they resolved to land, lest they should be a second time disappointed. They accordingly moved toward the tail of the comet, where, finding an Aurora Borealis ready to set sail, they embarked, and arrived on the northern coast of the Baltic on the fifth day of July, new style, in the year 1737.

Meanwhile, our two virtuosos set out, and in one leap, they jumped onto the ring, which they found to be quite flat, just as an insightful resident of our little planet had guessed. From there, they easily traveled from moon to moon; and when a comet happened to pass by, they hopped on it along with all their servants and equipment. After being carried about one hundred fifty million leagues, they encountered the moons of Jupiter and landed on the planet itself, where they stayed for an entire year; during this time, they discovered some fascinating secrets that would actually be published if it weren't for the concern about the gentleman inquisitors, who have found some of their conclusions quite challenging to digest. However, I’ve read the manuscript in the library of the esteemed archbishop of ——, who, with that commendable generosity and kindness, has allowed me to browse his books; therefore, I promise he will get a lengthy article in the next edition of Moreri, and I won’t forget his young gentlemen, his sons, who give us such delightful hope of continuing the legacy of their distinguished father. But back to our travelers. After bidding farewell to Jupiter, they traveled about one hundred million leagues, and while skimming along the planet Mars, which is known to be five times smaller than our little Earth, they spotted two moons that serve that planet, which have escaped the attention of all our astronomers. I know Father Castel will write, and likely quite amusingly, against the existence of these two moons; but I fully rely on those who reason by analogy. Those worthy philosophers are well aware that Mars, being so far from the sun, must be in a pretty uncomfortable position without the benefit of a couple of moons. Regardless, our gentlemen found the planet so small that they worried there wouldn’t be enough room to rest, so they continued their journey like travelers who scoff at the meager accommodations of a village and push on to the next market town. But the Sirian and his companion soon regretted their pickiness, as they traveled for a long time without finding a place to rest until they finally spotted a tiny dot, which was Earth. Coming from Jupiter, they were moved with compassion at the sight of this miserable little spot, but they decided to land there anyway, lest they be disappointed again. They accordingly headed towards the tail of the comet, where they found an Aurora Borealis ready to take off. They boarded it and arrived on the northern coast of the Baltic on July 5th, new style, in the year 1737.


IV.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM ON THIS EARTH.

Having taken some repose, and being desirous of reconnoitering the narrow field in which they were, they traversed it at once from north to south. Every step of the Sirian and his attendants measured about thirty thousand royal feet: whereas, the dwarf of Saturn, whose stature did not exceed a thousand fathoms, followed at a distance quite out of breath; because, for every single stride of his companion, he was obliged to make twelve good steps at least. The reader may figure to himself, (if we are allowed to make such comparisons,) a very little rough spaniel dodging after a captain of the Prussian grenadiers.

After resting for a bit, wanting to check out the narrow area they were in, they moved through it from north to south. Every step the Sirian and his companions took was about thirty thousand royal feet long, while the dwarf from Saturn, who wasn’t taller than a thousand fathoms, followed at a distance, completely out of breath. This was because, for every single step his companion took, he had to take at least twelve good steps. You can imagine it, if we're allowed to make such comparisons, as a tiny, scruffy spaniel trying to keep up with a captain of the Prussian grenadiers.

As those strangers walked at a good pace, they compassed the globe in six and thirty hours; the sun, it is true, or rather the earth, describes the same space in the course of one day; but it must be observed that it is much easier to turn upon an axis than to walk a-foot. Behold them then returned to the spot from whence they had set out, after having discovered that almost imperceptible sea, which is called the Mediterranean; and the other narrow pond that surrounds this mole-hill, under the denomination of the great ocean; in wading through which the dwarf had never wet his mid-leg, while the other scarce moistened his heel. In going and coming through both hemispheres, they did all that lay in their power to discover whether or not the globe was inhabited. They stooped, they lay down, they groped in every corner, but their eyes and hands were not at all proportioned to the small beings that crawl upon this earth; and, therefore, they could not find the smallest reason to suspect that we and our fellow-citizens of this globe had the honor to exist.

As those strangers walked quickly, they went around the world in thirty-six hours; the sun, or rather the earth, covers the same distance in a single day; but it's important to note that it's much easier to spin on an axis than to walk on foot. So, here they are back at the starting point, having discovered the almost invisible sea known as the Mediterranean, and the other small body of water that encircles this little land, referred to as the great ocean; in crossing it, the dwarf never got his feet wet above his ankles, while the other barely dampened his heel. During their journey back and forth across both hemispheres, they did everything they could to find out if the globe was inhabited. They crouched down, lay on the ground, and searched every corner, but their eyes and hands weren’t suited to find the tiny creatures that crawl on this earth; therefore, they had no reason to suspect that we and our fellow inhabitants of this globe existed at all.

The dwarf, who sometimes judged too hastily, concluded at once that there was no living creatures upon earth; and his chief reason was, that he had seen nobody. But Micromegas, in a polite manner, made him sensible of the unjust conclusion:

The dwarf, who sometimes rushed to conclusions, immediately decided that there were no living creatures on earth; his main reason was that he hadn't seen anyone. But Micromegas, being polite, helped him understand that his conclusion was unfair:

"For," said he, "with your diminutive eyes you cannot see certain stars of the fiftieth magnitude, which I easily perceive; and do you take it for granted that no such stars exist?"

"For," he said, "with your tiny eyes, you can't see certain stars of the fiftieth magnitude, which I can easily see; do you assume that no such stars exist?"

"But I have groped with great care?" replied the dwarf.

"But I've searched very carefully," replied the dwarf.

"Then your sense of feeling must be bad," said the other.

"Then you must have a poor sense of feeling," said the other.

"But this globe," said the dwarf, "is ill contrived; and so irregular in its form as to be quite ridiculous. The whole together looks like a chaos. Do but observe these little rivulets; not one of them runs in a straight line; and these ponds which are neither round, square, nor oval, nor indeed of any regular figure, together with these little sharp pebbles, (meaning the mountains,) that roughen the whole surface of the globe, and have torn all the skin from my feet. Besides, pray take notice of the shape of the whole, how it flattens at the poles, and turns round the sun in an awkward oblique manner, so as that the polar circles cannot possibly be cultivated. Truly, what makes me believe there is no inhabitant on this sphere, is a full persuasion that no sensible being would live in such a disagreeable place."

"But this globe," said the dwarf, "is poorly designed; and its shape is so irregular that it's just laughable. Overall, it looks like chaos. Just look at these little streams; none of them flows in a straight line, and these ponds aren’t round, square, or oval, or really any regular shape, along with these sharp pebbles (I mean the mountains) that make the whole surface rough and have taken all the skin off my feet. Also, please notice how it flattens at the poles and orbits the sun at a weird angle, making it impossible to farm in the polar regions. Honestly, what makes me think there are no inhabitants on this planet is the strong belief that no sensible being would choose to live in such an unpleasant place."

"What then?" said Micromegas, "perhaps the beings that inhabit it come not under that denomination; but, to all appearance, it was not made for nothing. Everything here seems to you irregular; because you fetch all your comparisons from Jupiter or Saturn. Perhaps this is the very reason of the seeming confusion which you condemn; have I not told you, that in the course of my travels I have always met with variety?"

"What then?" said Micromegas, "maybe the beings that live here don't fit that description; but clearly, it wasn't created for no reason. Everything here looks chaotic to you because you're comparing it to Jupiter or Saturn. Perhaps that's exactly why you see confusion, which you criticize; haven't I mentioned that during my travels, I've always encountered variety?"

The Saturnian replied to all these arguments; and perhaps the dispute would have known no end, if Micromegas, in the heat of the contest, had not luckily broken the string of his diamond necklace, so that the jewels fell to the ground; they consisted of pretty small unequal karats, the largest of which weighed four hundred pounds, and the smallest fifty. The dwarf, in helping to pick them up, perceived, as they approached his eye, that every single diamond was cut in such a manner as to answer the purpose of an excellent microscope. He therefore took up a small one, about one hundred and sixty feet in diameter, and applied it to his eye, while Micromegas chose another of two thousand five hundred feet. Though they were of excellent powers, the observers could perceive nothing by their assistance, so they were altered and adjusted. At length, the inhabitant of Saturn discerned something almost imperceptible moving between two waves in the Baltic. This was no other than a whale, which, in a dexterous manner, he caught with his little finger, and, placing it on the nail of his thumb, showed it to the Syrian, who laughed heartily at the excessive smallness peculiar to the inhabitants of this our globe. The Saturnian, by this time convinced that our world was inhabited, began to imagine we had no other animals than whales; and being a mighty debater, he forthwith set about investigating the origin and motion of this small atom, curious to know whether or not it was furnished with ideas, judgment, and free will. Micromegas was very much perplexed upon this subject. He examined the animal with the most patient attention, and the result of his inquiry was, that he could see no reason to believe a soul was lodged in such a body. The two travelers were actually inclined to think there was no such thing as mind in this our habitation, when, by the help of their microscope, they perceived something as large as a whale floating upon the surface of the sea. It is well known that, at this period, a flight of philosophers were upon their return from the polar circle, where they had been making observations, for which nobody has hitherto been the wiser. The gazettes record, that their vessel ran ashore on the coast of Bothnia and that they with great difficulty saved their lives; but in this world one can never dive to the bottom of things. For my own part, I will ingenuously recount the transaction just as it happened, without any addition of my own; and this is no small effort in a modern historian.

The Saturnian addressed all these points, and the argument might have gone on forever if Micromegas, caught up in the debate, accidentally broke his diamond necklace, causing the jewels to scatter on the ground. They were variously sized stones, with the largest weighing four hundred pounds and the smallest fifty. As the dwarf helped pick them up, he noticed that each diamond was cut to function like a great microscope. He picked up a small one, about one hundred and sixty feet in diameter, and held it to his eye, while Micromegas chose another one that was two thousand five hundred feet. Even though they were powerful lenses, the observers couldn't see anything helpful, so they adjusted them. Eventually, the Saturnian spotted something almost imperceptible moving between two waves in the Baltic. It turned out to be a whale, which he cleverly caught with his little finger and placed it on his thumb, showing it to the Syrian, who laughed heartily at how incredibly tiny the inhabitants of our world seemed. By this point, the Saturnian, convinced that our world was inhabited, assumed we only had whales. Being a passionate debater, he began to investigate the origin and movement of this small creature, curious to know if it had thoughts, judgment, and free will. Micromegas was quite puzzled by this. He examined the animal with great patience and concluded that he saw no reason to believe there was a soul in such a body. The two travelers seriously considered that there might be no mind in our world when, with the help of their microscope, they noticed something as large as a whale floating on the sea's surface. It’s well known that at this time, a group of philosophers was returning from the polar region, where they had made observations that no one has benefited from yet. Reports say their ship ran aground on the coast of Bothnia, and they barely escaped with their lives; but in this world, one can never truly uncover the depths of matters. Personally, I will recount the event just as it happened, without adding anything of my own, which is no small task for a modern historian.


V.

THE TRAVELERS CATCH A VESSEL.

Micromegas stretched out his hand gently toward the place where the object appeared, and advanced two fingers, which he instantly pulled back, for fear of being disappointed, then opening softly and shutting them all at once, he very dexterously seized the ship that contained those gentlemen, and placed it on his nail, avoiding too much pressure, which might have crushed the whole in pieces.

Micromegas reached out his hand carefully towards the spot where the object appeared, then extended two fingers, which he quickly withdrew, worried about being let down. Then, opening and closing them at the same time, he skillfully grabbed the ship holding those gentlemen and set it on his nail, careful not to apply too much pressure that could break it apart.

"This," said the Saturnian dwarf, "is a creature very different from the former."

"This," said the Saturnian dwarf, "is a creature that's very different from the one before."

Upon which the Sirian placing the supposed animal in the hollow of his hand, the passengers and crew, who believed themselves thrown by a hurricane upon some rock, began to put themselves in motion. The sailors having hoisted out some casks of wine, jumped after them into the hand of Micromegas: the mathematicians having secured their quadrants, sectors, and Lapland servants, went overboard at a different place, and made such a bustle in their descent, that the Sirian at length felt his fingers tickled by something that seemed to move. An iron bar chanced to penetrate about a foot deep into his forefinger; and from this prick he concluded that something had issued from the little animal he held in his hand; but at first he suspected nothing more: for the microscope, that scarce rendered a whale and a ship visible, had no effect upon an object so imperceptible as man.

Upon which the Sirian placed the supposed animal in the palm of his hand, the passengers and crew, who thought they had been thrown by a hurricane onto some rocks, started to get moving. The sailors, having hoisted out some barrels of wine, jumped after them into Micromegas's hand. The mathematicians, having secured their quadrants, sectors, and Lapland servants, jumped overboard at a different spot, making such a commotion in their descent that the Sirian eventually felt his fingers tickled by something that seemed to move. An iron bar happened to penetrate about an inch deep into his forefinger, and from this prick, he concluded that something had come from the little animal he held in his hand; but at first, he suspected nothing more, since the microscope, which could barely reveal a whale or a ship, had no effect on something as tiny as a human.

I do not intend to shock the vanity of any person whatever; but here I am obliged to beg your people of importance to consider that, supposing the stature of a man to be about five feet, we mortals make just such a figure upon the earth, as an animal the sixty thousandth part of a foot in height, would exhibit upon a bowl ten feet in circumference. When you reflect upon a being who could hold this whole earth in the palm of his hand, and is provided with organs proportioned to those we possess, you will easily conceive that there must be a great variety of created substances;—and pray, what must such beings think of those battles by which a conqueror gains a small village, to lose it again in the sequel?

I don’t mean to offend anyone’s pride, but I need to ask the important people here to consider that, if a man is about five feet tall, we humans appear on Earth much like an animal only one-sixtieth of a foot tall would look on a bowl that’s ten feet around. When you think about a being who could hold the entire Earth in one hand and has organs similar to ours, it’s easy to understand that there must be a huge variety of created beings. So, what must those beings think of battles where a conqueror wins a small village, only to lose it again later?

Micromegas captures a ship. Micromegas takes over a ship.

I do not at all doubt, but if some captain of grenadiers should chance to read this work, he would add two large feet at least to the caps of his company; but I assure him his labor will be in vain; for, do what he will, he and his soldiers will never be other than infinitely diminutive and inconsiderable.

I have no doubt that if some grenadier captain happens to read this work, he would add at least two large feathers to his troops' hats; but I assure him his efforts will be in vain, because no matter what he does, he and his soldiers will always remain incredibly small and insignificant.

What wonderful address must have been inherent in our Sirian philosopher, that enabled him to perceive those atoms of which we have been speaking. When Leuwenhoek and Hartsoecker observed the first rudiments of which we are formed, they did not make such an astonishing discovery. What pleasure, therefore, was the portion of Micromegas, in observing the motion of those little machines, in examining all their pranks, and following them in all their operations! With what joy did he put his microscope into his companion's hand; and with what transport did they both at once exclaim:

What amazing insight our Sirian philosopher must have had to recognize the atoms we’ve been talking about. When Leuwenhoek and Hartsoecker first saw the basic building blocks of our being, they didn’t make such a groundbreaking discovery. So how delightful it was for Micromegas to watch the movements of those tiny machines, to study all their antics, and to follow them in every operation! With what excitement did he place his microscope in his companion's hand; and with what enthusiasm did they both simultaneously exclaim:

"I see them distinctly,—don't you see them carrying burdens, lying down and rising up again?"

"I see them clearly—don't you see them carrying loads, lying down, and getting up again?"

So saying, their hands shook with eagerness to see, and apprehension to lose such uncommon objects. The Saturnian, making a sudden transition from the most cautious distrust to the most excessive credulity, imagined he saw them engaged in their devotions and cried aloud in astonishment.

So saying, their hands trembled with excitement to see, and anxiety to lose such rare objects. The Saturnian, making a quick shift from extreme suspicion to complete belief, thought he saw them in prayer and shouted in surprise.

Nevertheless, he was deceived by appearances: a case too common, whether we do or do not make use of microscopes.

Nevertheless, he was misled by appearances: a situation all too common, whether we use microscopes or not.


VI.

WHAT HAPPENED IN THEIR DEALINGS WITH MEN.

Micromegas being a much better observer than the dwarf, perceived distinctly that those atoms spoke; and made the remark to his companion, who was so much ashamed of being mistaken in his first suggestion, that he would not believe such a puny species could possibly communicate their ideas: for, though he had the gift of tongues, as well as his companion, he could not hear those particles speak; and therefore supposed they had no language.

Micromegas, being a much better observer than the dwarf, clearly noticed that those atoms were communicating; he pointed this out to his companion, who was too embarrassed about being wrong in his initial suggestion to believe that such tiny beings could actually express their thoughts. Even though he had the gift of languages just like Micromegas, he couldn't hear those particles talking, so he assumed they didn't have a language at all.

"Besides, how should such imperceptible beings have the organs of speech? and what in the name of Jove can they say to one another? In order to speak, they must have something like thought, and if they think, they must surely have something equivalent to a soul. Now, to attribute anything like a soul to such an insect species appears a mere absurdity."

"Besides, how could such barely noticeable beings have the ability to speak? And what in the world could they even say to each other? To talk, they must have some form of thought, and if they think, they must have something that resembles a soul. Now, the idea of giving anything like a soul to such an insect species seems completely absurd."

"But just now," replied the Sirian, "you believed they were engaged in devotional exercises; and do you think this could be done without thinking, without using some sort of language, or at least some way of making themselves understood? Or do you suppose it is more difficult to advance an argument than to engage in physical exercise? For my own part, I look upon all faculties as alike mysterious."

"But just now," replied the Sirian, "you thought they were practicing some kind of devotion; do you really believe that could happen without thinking, without using some kind of language, or at least some method of communicating? Or do you think it's harder to make an argument than it is to do physical exercise? Personally, I see all abilities as equally mysterious."

"I will no longer venture to believe or deny," answered the dwarf. "In short I have no opinion at all, let us endeavor to examine these insects, and we will reason upon them afterward."

"I won't try to believe or deny anymore," the dwarf replied. "In short, I have no opinion at all. Let's try to examine these insects, and we can think about them later."

"With all my heart," said Micromegas, who, taking out a pair of scissors which he kept for paring his nails, cut off a paring from his thumb nail, of which he immediately formed a large kind of speaking trumpet, like a vast tunnel, and clapped the pipe to his ear: as the circumference of this machine included the ship and all the crew, the most feeble voice was conveyed along the circular fibres of the nail; so that, thanks to his industry, the philosopher could distinctly hear the buzzing of our insects that were below. In a few hours he distinguished articulate sounds, and at last plainly understood the French language. The dwarf heard the same, though with more difficulty.

"With all my heart," said Micromegas, who pulled out a pair of scissors he used for trimming his nails, cut off a sliver from his thumbnail, and immediately shaped it into a large kind of speaking trumpet, like a huge tunnel, and pressed the pipe to his ear. Since this device included the ship and all the crew, even the weakest voice traveled through the circular fibers of the nail; so, thanks to his ingenuity, the philosopher could clearly hear the buzzing of our tiny beings below. After a few hours, he could make out articulated sounds and eventually understood the French language perfectly. The dwarf heard it too, though with more difficulty.

The astonishment of our travelers increased every instant. They heard a nest of mites talk in a very sensible strain: and that Lusus Naturæ? seemed to them inexplicable. You need not doubt but the Sirian and his dwarf glowed with impatience to enter into conversation with such atoms. Micromegas being afraid that his voice, like thunder, would deafen and confound the mites, without being understood by them, saw the necessity of diminishing the sound; each, therefore, put into his mouth a sort of small toothpick, the slender end of which reached to the vessel. The Sirian setting the dwarf upon his knees, and the ship and crew upon his nail, held down his head and spoke softly. In fine, having taken these and a great many more precautions, he addressed himself to them in these words:

The travelers' astonishment grew with each passing moment. They heard a nest of tiny creatures talking in an impressively sensible way, and the idea of Lusus Naturæ? seemed completely baffling to them. You can be sure that the Sirian and his dwarf were eager to engage in conversation with such minuscule beings. Micromegas, worried that his voice might be as loud as thunder and would either deafen or confuse the mites, realized he needed to lower the volume. So, each of them took a kind of small toothpick, with the thin end extending down to the vessel. The Sirian placed the dwarf on his knees and held the ship and crew on his nail, lowered his head, and spoke gently. Finally, after taking these and many other precautions, he addressed them with these words:

"O ye invisible insects, whom the hand of the Creator hath deigned to produce in the abyss of infinite littleness! I give praise to his goodness, in that he hath been pleased to disclose unto me those secrets that seemed to be impenetrable."

"O you invisible insects, whom the Creator has chosen to create in the depths of infinite smallness! I praise his goodness for allowing me to uncover those secrets that once seemed impenetrable."

If ever there was such a thing as astonishment, it seized upon the people who heard this address, and who could not conceive from whence it proceeded. The chaplain of the ship repeated exorcisms, the sailors swore, and the philosophers formed a system; but, notwithstanding all their systems, they could not divine who the person was that spoke to them. Then the dwarf of Saturn, whose voice was softer than that of Micromegas, gave them briefly to understand what species of beings they had to do with. He related the particulars of their voyage from Saturn, made them acquainted with the rank and quality of Monsieur Micromegas; and, after having pitied their smallness, asked if they had always been in that miserable state so near akin to annihilation; and what their business was upon that globe which seemed to be the property of whales. He also desired to know if they were happy in their situation? if they were inspired with souls? and put a hundred questions of the like nature.

If there was ever a moment of pure astonishment, it hit the people who listened to this speech, and they couldn’t figure out where it came from. The ship's chaplain repeated exorcisms, the sailors cursed, and the philosophers tried to create a theory; but despite all their theories, they couldn’t figure out who was speaking to them. Then the dwarf from Saturn, whose voice was softer than Micromegas, briefly explained what kind of beings they were dealing with. He shared the details of their journey from Saturn, informed them of Monsieur Micromegas’s status, and after expressing pity for their small size, asked if they had always been in such a miserable state so close to extinction; and what their purpose was on that planet that seemed to belong to whales. He also wanted to know if they were happy in their situation, if they had souls, and asked a hundred similar questions.

A certain mathematician on board, braver than the rest, and shocked to hear his soul called in question, planted his quadrant, and having taken two observations of this interlocutor, said: "You believe then, Mr., what's your name, that because you measure from head to foot a thousand fathoms—"

A mathematician on board, bolder than the others, and surprised to hear his character challenged, set up his quadrant. After taking two measurements of the person speaking, he said: "So you think, Mr. What's-your-name, that just because you measure a thousand fathoms from head to toe—”

"A thousand fathoms!" cried the dwarf, "good heavens! How should he know the height of my stature? A thousand fathoms! My very dimensions to a hair. What, measured by a mite! This atom, forsooth, is a geometrician, and knows exactly how tall I am; while I, who can scarce perceive him through a microscope, am utterly ignorant of his extent!"

"A thousand fathoms!" shouted the dwarf. "Good heavens! How could he know how tall I am? A thousand fathoms! That's exactly my size to the last detail. What, measured by a tiny creature! This little speck thinks he's a mathematician and knows exactly how tall I am, while I can barely see him under a microscope and have no idea how big he is!"

"Yes, I have taken your measure," answered the philosopher, "and I will now do the same by your tall companion."

"Yes, I've assessed you," replied the philosopher, "and I will now do the same for your tall friend."

The proposal was embraced: his excellency reclined upon his side; for, had he stood upright, his head would have reached too far above the clouds. Our mathematicians planted a tall tree near him, and then, by a series of triangles joined together, they discovered that the object of their observation was a strapping youth, exactly one hundred and twenty thousand royal feet in length. In consequence of this calculation, Micromegas uttered these words:

The proposal was accepted: his excellency lay on his side; if he had stood up, his head would have been too high above the clouds. Our mathematicians planted a tall tree next to him, and then, using a series of triangles, they figured out that the thing they were looking at was a strong young man, exactly one hundred and twenty thousand royal feet long. Because of this calculation, Micromegas said:

"I am now more than ever convinced that we ought to judge of nothing by its external magnitude. O God! who hast bestowed understanding upon such seemingly contemptible substances, thou canst with equal ease produce that which is infinitely small, as that which is incredibly great: and if it be possible, that among thy works there are beings still more diminutive than these, they may nevertheless, be endued with understanding superior to the intelligence of those stupendous animals I have seen in heaven, a single foot of whom is larger than this whole globe on which I have alighted."

"I am now more convinced than ever that we shouldn't judge anything by its size. O God! who has given understanding to such seemingly insignificant things, you can just as easily create something infinitely small as you can something incredibly large: and if it’s possible that among your creations there are beings even smaller than these, they could still have an understanding greater than the intelligence of those giant creatures I’ve seen in heaven, whose one foot is bigger than this whole world I’ve landed on."

One of the philosophers assured him that there were intelligent beings much smaller than men, and recounted not only Virgil's whole fable of the bees, but also described all that Swammerdam hath discovered, and Réaumur dissected. In a word, he informed him that there are animals which bear the same proportion to bees, that bees bear to man; the same as the Sirian himself compared to those vast beings whom he had mentioned; and as those huge animals are to other substances, before whom they would appear like so many particles of dust. Here the conversation became very interesting, and Micromegas proceeded in these words:

One of the philosophers told him that there are intelligent beings much smaller than humans, and not only went over Virgil's entire fable about the bees, but also explained everything that Swammerdam had discovered and what Réaumur had dissected. In short, he informed him that there are creatures that are to bees what bees are to humans; just like the Sirian compared to those giant beings he had mentioned; and as those huge creatures are to other substances, before which they would look like mere specks of dust. At this point, the conversation got really interesting, and Micromegas continued with these words:

"O ye intelligent atoms, in whom the Supreme Being hath been pleased to manifest his omniscience and power, without all doubt your joys on this earth must be pure and exquisite: for, being unincumbered with matter, and, to all appearance, little else than soul, you must spend your lives in the delights of pleasure and reflection, which are the true enjoyments of a perfect spirit. True happiness I have no where found; but certainly here it dwells."

"O you clever atoms, in whom the Supreme Being has chosen to show His all-knowing nature and power, there’s no doubt your happiness on this earth must be pure and exquisite: because, being free from physical burdens and, it seems, nothing but spirit, you must spend your lives in the joys of pleasure and thought, which are the real enjoyments of a perfect soul. I haven’t found true happiness anywhere else; but surely, it lives here."

At this harangue all the philosophers shook their heads, and one among them, more candid than his brethren, frankly owned, that excepting a very small number of inhabitants who were very little esteemed by their fellows, all the rest were a parcel of knaves, fools, and miserable wretches.

At this speech, all the philosophers shook their heads, and one among them, more honest than the others, openly admitted that aside from a very small number of people who were hardly respected by their peers, everyone else was just a bunch of crooks, idiots, and miserable outcasts.

"We have matter enough," said he, "to do abundance of mischief, if mischief comes from matter; and too much understanding, if evil flows from understanding. You must know, for example, that at this very moment, while I am speaking, there are one hundred thousand animals of our own species, covered with hats, slaying an equal number of their fellow-creatures, who wear turbans; at least they are either slaying or being slain; and this hath usually been the case all over the earth from time immemorial."

"We have plenty of resources," he said, "to cause a lot of trouble if trouble comes from resources; and too much knowledge if evil comes from knowledge. You should know, for example, that right now, as I’m talking, there are a hundred thousand people like us, wearing hats, killing an equal number of their fellow beings who wear turbans; they’re either doing the killing or getting killed; and this has usually been the situation all over the world for a very long time."

The Sirian, shuddering at this information, begged to know the cause of those horrible quarrels among such a puny race; and was given to understand that the subject of the dispute was a pitiful mole-hill [called Palestine,] no larger than his heel. Not that any one of those millions who cut one another's throats pretends to have the least claim to the smallest particle of that clod. The question is, whether it shall belong to a certain person who is known by the name of Sultan, or to another whom (for what reason I know not) they dignify with the appellation of Pope. Neither the one nor the other has seen or ever will see the pitiful corner in question; and probably none of these wretches, who so madly destroy each other, ever beheld the ruler on whose account they are so mercilessly sacrificed!

The Sirian, shivering at this information, asked to know what caused such terrible fights among such a tiny race; and was told that the argument was over a miserable mole-hill [called Palestine,] no bigger than his heel. Not one of those millions who are cutting each other's throats claims to have the slightest right to any part of that piece of land. The issue is whether it should belong to a person known as the Sultan, or to another whom (for reasons I don't understand) they honor with the title of Pope. Neither of them has ever seen or will ever see that pathetic corner of land; and likely none of these poor souls, who are madly killing each other, has ever laid eyes on the leader for whom they are so ruthlessly sacrificed!

"Ah, miscreants!" cried the indignant Sirian, "such excess of desperate rage is beyond conception. I have a good mind to take two or three steps, and trample the whole nest of such ridiculous assassins under my feet."

"Ah, troublemakers!" shouted the outraged Sirian, "this level of furious anger is unbelievable. I’m seriously considering taking a few steps and stomping on this entire group of pathetic assassins."

"Don't give yourself the trouble," replied the philosopher, "they are industrious enough in procuring their own destruction. At the end of ten years the hundredth part of those wretches will not survive; for you must know that, though they should not draw a sword in the cause they have espoused, famine, fatigue, and intemperance, would sweep almost all of them from the face of the earth. Besides, the punishment should not be inflicted upon them, but upon those sedentary and slothful barbarians, who, from their palaces, give orders for murdering a million of men and then solemnly thank God for their success."

"Don't bother," replied the philosopher, "they're doing a good enough job of ruining themselves. In ten years, only a tiny fraction of those poor souls will still be alive; you see, even if they don’t take up arms for their cause, starvation, exhaustion, and excess will take nearly all of them out. Plus, the real punishment shouldn't fall on them, but on those lazy and inactive tyrants who, from their mansions, command the slaughter of a million people and then piously thank God for their victory."

Our traveler was moved with compassion for the entire human race, in which he discovered such astonishing contrasts. "Since you are of the small number of the wise," said he, "and in all likelihood do not engage yourselves in the trade of murder for hire, be so good as to tell me your occupation."

Our traveler felt compassion for all humanity, noticing such amazing contrasts within it. "Since you're part of the small group of wise people," he said, "and probably don’t participate in the business of killing for money, could you please tell me what you do for a living?"

"We anatomize flies," replied the philosopher, "we measure lines, we make calculations, we agree upon two or three points which we understand, and dispute upon two or three thousand that are beyond our comprehension."

"We analyze flies," replied the philosopher, "we measure lines, we make calculations, we agree on a few points that we understand, and we argue over a few thousand that are beyond our comprehension."

"How far," said the Sirian, "do you reckon the distance between the great star of the constellation Gemini and that called Caniculæ?"

"How far," asked the Sirian, "do you think the distance is between the big star in the Gemini constellation and the one called Caniculæ?"

To this question all of them answered with one voice: "Thirty-two degrees and a half."

To this question, they all replied in unison: "Thirty-two degrees and a half."

"And what is the distance from hence to the moon?"

"And what is the distance from here to the moon?"

"Sixty semi-diameters of the earth."

"Sixty earth semi-diameters."

He then thought to puzzle them by asking the weight of the air; but they answered distinctly, that common air is about nine hundred times specifically lighter than an equal column of the lightest water, and nineteen hundred times lighter than current gold. The little dwarf of Saturn, astonished at their answers, was now tempted to believe those people sorcerers, who, but a quarter of an hour before, he would not allow were inspired with souls.

He then decided to confuse them by asking about the weight of the air; but they clearly replied that regular air is about nine hundred times lighter than an equal column of the lightest water, and nineteen hundred times lighter than liquid gold. The little dwarf of Saturn, surprised by their answers, began to think that these people must be sorcerers, even though just a little while ago he had dismissed the idea that they had souls.

"Well," said Micromegas, "since you know so well what is without you, doubtless you are still more perfectly acquainted with that which is within. Tell me what is the soul, and how do your ideas originate?"

"Well," said Micromegas, "since you understand so well what’s outside of you, you must be even more aware of what’s inside. Tell me, what is the soul, and how do your thoughts come about?"

Here the philosophers spoke altogether as before; but each was of a different opinion. The eldest quoted Aristotle; another pronounced the name of Descartes; a third mentioned Mallebranche; a fourth Leibnitz; and a fifth Locke. An old peripatecian lifting up his voice, exclaimed with an air of confidence. "The soul is perfection and reason, having power to be such as it is, as Aristotle expressly declares, page 633, of the Louvre edition:

Here, the philosophers talked just like before, but each had a different opinion. The oldest one referenced Aristotle; another brought up Descartes; a third mentioned Malebranche; a fourth cited Leibniz; and a fifth talked about Locke. An old Peripatetic raised his voice and confidently exclaimed, "The soul is perfection and reason, having the ability to be what it is, just as Aristotle clearly states on page 633 of the Louvre edition:"

"Εντελεχεῖά τις ἐστι, καὶ λόγος τοὖ δύναμιν ἓχοντος
τοιοὗδι εἷ ταἷ."

"There’s a certain wholeness, and that’s what gives
something like this.

"I am not very well versed in Greek," said the giant.

"I don't know much Greek," said the giant.

"Nor I either," replied the philosophical mite.

"Me neither," replied the thoughtful little creature.

"Why then do you quote that same Aristotle in Greek?" resumed the Sirian.

"Then why do you quote that same Aristotle in Greek?" the Sirian continued.

"Because," answered the other, "it is but reasonable we should quote what we do not comprehend in a language we do not understand."

"Because," the other replied, "it only makes sense to reference what we don't understand in a language we're not familiar with."

Here the Cartesian interposing: "The soul," said he, "is a pure spirit or intelligence, which hath received before birth all the metaphysical ideas; but after that event it is obliged to go to school and learn anew the knowledge which it hath lost."

Here the Cartesian interjects: "The soul," he said, "is a pure spirit or intelligence that has acquired all the metaphysical ideas before birth; but after that, it has to go to school and relearn the knowledge it has lost."

"So it was necessary," replied the animal of eight leagues, "that thy soul should be learned before birth, in order to be so ignorant when thou hast got a beard upon thy chin. But what dost thou understand by spirit?"

"So it was necessary," replied the creature from eight leagues away, "that your soul should be educated before birth, so you wouldn't be so clueless once you grew a beard. But what do you mean by spirit?"

"I have no idea of it," said the philosopher, "indeed it is supposed to be immaterial."

"I have no idea about it," said the philosopher, "in fact, it's believed to be immaterial."

"At least, thou knowest what matter is?" resumed the Sirian.

"At least, you know what matter is?" the Sirian continued.

"Perfectly well," answered the other. "For example: that stone is gray, is of a certain figure, has three dimensions, specific weight, and divisibility."

"Exactly," replied the other. "For instance: that stone is gray, has a certain shape, has three dimensions, a specific weight, and can be divided."

"I want to know," said the giant, "what that object is, which, according to thy observation, hath a gray color, weight, and divisibility. Thou seest a few qualities, but dost thou know the nature of the thing itself?"

"I want to know," said the giant, "what that object is that you say has a gray color, weight, and can be divided. You see a few qualities, but do you know what the thing itself actually is?"

"Not I, truly," answered the Cartesian.

"Not me, really," answered the Cartesian.

Upon which the Sirian admitted that he also was ignorant in regard to this subject. Then addressing himself to another sage, who stood upon his thumb, he asked "what is the soul? and what are her functions?"

Upon which the Sirian admitted that he too was clueless about this topic. Then, turning to another sage who was standing on his thumb, he asked, "What is the soul? And what are its functions?"

"Nothing at all," replied this disciple of Mallebranche; "God hath made everything for my convenience. In him I see everything, by him I act; he is the universal agent, and I never meddle in his work."

"Nothing at all," answered this follower of Mallebranche; "God has created everything for my benefit. In Him, I see everything, through Him, I act; He is the universal agent, and I never interfere in His work."

"That is being a nonentity indeed," said the Sirian sage; and then, turning to a follower of Leibnitz, he exclaimed: "Hark ye, friend, what is thy opinion of the soul?"

"That is really being a nobody," said the Sirian sage; and then, turning to a follower of Leibnitz, he exclaimed: "Hey, friend, what do you think about the soul?"

"In my opinion," answered this metaphysician, "the soul is the hand that points at the hour, while my body does the office of the clock; or, if you please, the soul is the clock, and the body is the pointer; or again, my soul is the mirror of the universe, and my body the frame. All this is clear and uncontrovertible."

"In my view," replied this metaphysician, "the soul is like the hand that indicates the time, while my body acts like the clock; or, if you prefer, the soul is the clock and the body is the hand; or once more, my soul reflects the universe, and my body is the frame. All of this is clear and undeniable."

A little partisan of Locke who chanced to be present, being asked his opinion on the same subject, said: "I do not know by what power I think; but well I know that I should never have thought without the assistance of my senses. That there are immaterial and intelligent substances I do not at all doubt; but that it is impossible for God to communicate the faculty of thinking to matter, I doubt very much. I revere the eternal power, to which it would ill become me to prescribe bounds. I affirm nothing, and am contented to believe that many more things are possible than are usually thought so."

A young supporter of Locke who happened to be there was asked for his opinion on the topic. He said, "I don't know how I think; but I know for sure that I wouldn't be able to think without my senses. I don't doubt that there are non-physical, intelligent beings; however, I'm not convinced it's impossible for God to give the ability to think to matter. I respect the eternal power, and I wouldn't dare to set limits on it. I don't claim to know everything, and I'm okay with believing that there are many more possibilities than people usually realize."

The Sirian smiled at this declaration, and did not look upon the author as the least sagacious of the company: and as for the dwarf of Saturn, he would have embraced this adherent of Locke, had it not been for the extreme disproportion in their respective sizes. But unluckily there was another animalcule in a square cap, who, taking the word from all his philosophical brethren, affirmed that he knew the whole secret, which was contained in the abridgment of St. Thomas. He surveyed the two celestial strangers from top to toe, and maintained to their faces that their persons, their fashions, their suns and their stars, were created solely for the use of man. At this wild assertion our two travelers were seized with a fit of that uncontrollable laughter, which (according to Homer) is the portion of the immortal gods: their bellies quivered, their shoulders rose and fell, and, during these convulsions, the vessel fell from the Sirian's nail into the Saturnian's pocket, where these worthy people searched for it a long time with great diligence. At length, having found the ship and set everything to rights again, the Sirian resumed the discourse with those diminutive mites, and promised to compose for them a choice book of philosophy which would demonstrate the very essence of things. Accordingly, before his departure, he made them a present of the book, which was brought to the Academy of Sciences at Paris, but when the old secretary came to open it he saw nothing but blank paper, upon which:—

The Sirian smiled at this statement and didn’t consider the speaker to be the least wise in the group. As for the Saturnian dwarf, he would have hugged this follower of Locke if not for the huge difference in their sizes. Unfortunately, there was another small creature in a square cap who, speaking for all his philosophical peers, claimed to know the entire secret contained in the summary of St. Thomas. He looked the two celestial visitors up and down and boldly asserted to their faces that their bodies, their styles, their suns, and their stars were created solely for human use. At this outrageous claim, our two travelers burst into uncontrollable laughter, which (according to Homer) is the fate of the immortal gods: their bellies shook, their shoulders heaved, and during this fit, the vessel slipped from the Sirian’s finger into the Saturnian’s pocket, where they searched for it for a long time with great determination. Finally, after finding the ship and getting everything back in order, the Sirian continued the conversation with the tiny creatures and promised to write them a special philosophy book that would reveal the true nature of things. So before he left, he gifted them the book, which was taken to the Academy of Sciences in Paris, but when the old secretary opened it, he found nothing but blank pages, upon which:—

"Ay, ay," said he, "this is just what I suspected."

"Ay, ay," he said, "this is exactly what I thought."

book


THE WORLD AS IT GOES.

THE VISION OF BABOUC.

The spiritual rulers of Persepolis. The spiritual leaders of Persepolis. [1]

Among the genii who preside over the empires of the earth, Ithuriel held one of the first ranks, and had the department of Upper Asia. He one morning descended into the abode of Babouc, the Scythian, who dwelt on the banks of the Oxus, and said to him:

Among the spirits who oversee the realms of the earth, Ithuriel occupied one of the top positions and was in charge of Upper Asia. One morning, he descended into the home of Babouc, the Scythian, who lived by the banks of the Oxus, and said to him:

"Babouc, the follies and vices of the Persians have drawn upon them our indignation. Yesterday an assembly of the genii of Upper Asia was held, to consider whether we would chastise Persepolis or destroy it entirely. Go to that city; examine everything; return and give me a faithful account; and, according to thy report, I will then determine whether to correct or extirpate the inhabitants."

"Babouc, the foolishness and flaws of the Persians have stirred our anger. Yesterday, a gathering of the genies from Upper Asia took place to decide whether we should punish Persepolis or wipe it out completely. Go to that city; look at everything; come back and give me an honest report; based on what you say, I will then decide whether to correct or eliminate the people."

"But, my lord," said Babouc with great humility, "I have never been in Persia, nor do I know a single person in that country."

"But, my lord," Babouc said humbly, "I've never been to Persia, nor do I know anyone from there."

"So much the better," said the angel, "thou wilt be the more impartial: thou hast received from heaven the spirit of discernment, to which I now add the power of inspiring confidence. Go, see, hear, observe, and fear nothing. Thou shalt everywhere meet with a favorable reception."

"So much the better," said the angel, "you will be more impartial: you have been given the spirit of discernment from heaven, to which I now add the ability to inspire confidence. Go, see, hear, observe, and don’t be afraid of anything. You will be welcomed everywhere."

Babouc mounted his camel, and set out with his servants. After having traveled some days, he met, near the plains of Senaar, the Persian army, which was going to attack the forces of India. He first addressed himself to a soldier, whom he found at a distance from the main army, and asked him what was the occasion of the war?

Babouc got on his camel and left with his servants. After traveling for several days, he encountered the Persian army near the plains of Senaar, which was headed to fight the forces of India. He first approached a soldier he spotted away from the main army and asked him what the war was about.

"By all the gods," said the soldier, "I know nothing of the matter. It is none of my business. My trade is to kill and to be killed, to get a livelihood. It is of no consequence to me whom I serve. To-morrow, perhaps, I may go over to the Indian camp; for it is said that they give their soldiers nearly half a copper drachma a day more than we have in this cursed service of Persia. If thou desirest to know why we fight, speak to my captain."

"By all the gods," said the soldier, "I know nothing about it. It's not my concern. My job is to kill and be killed, to make a living. It doesn't matter to me whom I serve. Tomorrow, I might go over to the Indian camp because I've heard they pay their soldiers nearly half a copper drachma a day more than we get in this cursed service of Persia. If you want to know why we fight, ask my captain."

Babouc, having given the soldier a small present, entered the camp. He soon became acquainted with the captain, and asked him the cause of the war.

Babouc, after giving the soldier a small gift, walked into the camp. He quickly got to know the captain and asked him what the war was about.

"How canst thou imagine that I should know it?" said the captain, "or of what importance is it to me? I live about two hundred leagues from Persepolis: I hear that war is declared. I instantly leave my family, and, having nothing else to do, go, according to our custom, to make my fortune, or to fall by a glorious death."

"How can you expect me to know that?" said the captain. "And why should it matter to me? I live about two hundred leagues from Persepolis. I hear war has been declared. I immediately leave my family, and with nothing else to do, I go, as is our custom, to seek my fortune or to die a glorious death."

"But are not thy companions," said Babouc, "a little better informed than thee?"

"But aren't your friends," said Babouc, "a bit better informed than you?"

"No," said the officer, "there are none but our principal satraps that know the true cause of our cutting one another's throats."

"No," said the officer, "only our main leaders know the real reason we're stabbing each other in the back."

Babouc, struck with astonishment, introduced himself to the generals, and soon became familiarly acquainted with them. At last one of them said:

Babouc, taken aback, introduced himself to the generals and quickly got to know them well. Finally, one of them said:

"The cause of this war, which for twenty years past hath desolated Asia, sprang originally from a quarrel between a eunuch belonging to one of the concubines of the great king of Persia, and the clerk of a factory belonging to the great king of India. The dispute was about a claim which amounted nearly to the thirtieth part of a daric. Our first minister, and the representative of India, maintained the rights of their respective masters with becoming dignity. The dispute grew warm. Both parties sent into the field an army of a million of soldiers. This army must be recruited every year with upwards of four hundred thousand men. Massacres, burning of houses, ruin and devastation, are daily multiplied; the universe suffers; and their mutual animosity still continues. The first ministers of the two nations frequently protest that they have nothing in view but the happiness of mankind; and every protestation is attended with the destruction of a town, or the desolation of a province."

"The reason for this war, which has devastated Asia for the past twenty years, originated from a disagreement between a eunuch who served one of the concubines of the great king of Persia and a clerk from a factory owned by the great king of India. The argument was over a claim that was roughly equal to the thirtieth part of a daric. Our prime minister and the representative of India defended their masters' rights with appropriate dignity. The dispute intensified. Both sides mobilized an army of a million soldiers. This army needs to be replenished each year with over four hundred thousand men. Massacres, burning homes, destruction, and devastation happen daily; the world suffers, and their animosity continues unabated. The prime ministers of both nations often claim that their only goal is the happiness of mankind, yet each declaration is followed by the destruction of a town or the devastation of a province."

Next day, on a report being spread that peace was going to be concluded, the Persian and Indian generals made haste to come to an engagement. The battle was long and bloody. Babouc beheld every crime, and every abomination. He was witness to the arts and stratagems of the principal satraps, who did all that lay in their power to expose their general to the disgrace of a defeat. He saw officers killed by their own troops, and soldiers stabbing their already expiring comrades in order to strip them of a few bloody garments torn and covered with dirt. He entered the hospitals to which they were conveying the wounded, most of whom died through the inhuman negligence of those who were well paid by the king of Persia to assist these unhappy men.

The next day, after word spread that peace was about to be made, the Persian and Indian generals rushed to engage in battle. The fight was long and brutal. Babouc witnessed every crime and every horror. He saw the tricks and schemes of the main satraps, who did everything they could to put their general at risk of defeat. He watched officers killed by their own men and soldiers stabbing their dying comrades to take their few blood-stained, dirt-covered clothes. He went into the hospitals where the wounded were taken, most of whom died due to the cruel neglect of those who were well paid by the king of Persia to help these unfortunate men.

"Are these men," cried Babouc, "or are they wild beasts? Ah! I plainly see that Persepolis will be destroyed."

"Are these men," shouted Babouc, "or are they wild animals? Ah! I can clearly see that Persepolis is going to be ruined."

Full of this thought, he went over to the camp of the Indians, where, according to the prediction of the genii, he was as well received as in that of the Persians; but he saw there the same crimes which had already filled him with horror.

Full of this thought, he went over to the camp of the Indians, where, according to the prediction of the genies, he was as well received as in that of the Persians; but he saw there the same crimes that had already filled him with horror.

"Oh!" said he to himself, "if the angel Ithuriel should exterminate the Persians, the angel of India must certainly destroy the Indians."

"Oh!" he said to himself, "if the angel Ithuriel were to wipe out the Persians, then the angel of India must definitely take out the Indians."

But being afterward more particularly informed of all that passed in both armies, he heard of such acts of generosity, humanity, and greatness of soul, as at once surprised and charmed him:

But after learning more details about everything that happened in both armies, he heard about acts of generosity, compassion, and nobility that both surprised and delighted him:

"Unaccountable mortals! as ye are," cried he, "how can you thus unite so much baseness and so much grandeur, so many virtues and so many vices?"

"Unaccountable humans! how can you combine so much meanness and so much greatness, so many good traits and so many bad ones?"

Meanwhile the peace was proclaimed; and the generals of the two armies, neither of whom had gained a complete victory, but who, for their own private interest, had shed the blood of so many of their fellow-creatures, went to solicit their courts for rewards. The peace was celebrated in public writings which announced the return of virtue and happiness to the earth.

Meanwhile, peace was declared, and the generals of the two armies, neither of whom had achieved a full victory but who, for their own personal gain, had caused so much suffering among their fellow humans, went to request rewards from their governments. The peace was celebrated in public announcements that declared the return of virtue and happiness to the world.

"God be praised," said Babouc, "Persepolis will now be the abode of spotless innocence, and will not be destroyed, as the cruel genii intended. Let us haste without delay to the capital of Asia."

"Thank God," said Babouc, "Persepolis will now be a place of pure innocence, and it won't be destroyed like the cruel spirits planned. Let's hurry to the capital of Asia without delay."


He entered that immense city by the ancient gate, which was entirely barbarous, and offended the eye by its disagreeable rusticity. All that part of the town savored of the time when it was built; for, notwithstanding the obstinacy of men in praising ancient at the expense of modern times, it must be owned that the first essays in every art are rude and unfinished.

He entered that massive city through the old gate, which looked completely unattractive and clashed with the eye due to its roughness. Everything in that part of town reflected the time it was built; because, despite how stubbornly people praise the old over the new, it has to be acknowledged that the early attempts in any art are rough and incomplete.

Babouc mingled in a crowd of people composed of the most ignorant, dirty and deformed of both sexes, who were thronging with a stupid air into a large and gloomy inclosure. By the constant hum; by the gestures of the people; by the money which some persons gave to others for the liberty of sitting down, he imagined that he was in a market, where chairs were sold: but observing several women fall down on their knees with an appearance of looking directly before them, while in reality they were leering at the men by their sides, he was soon convinced that he was in a temple. Shrill, hoarse, savage and discordant voices made the vault re-echo with ill articulated sounds, that produced the same effect as the braying of asses, when, in the plains of Pictavia, they answer the cornet that calls them together. He stopped his ears; but he was ready to shut his mouth and hold his nose, when he saw several laborers enter into the temple with picks and spades, who removed a large stone, and threw up the earth on both sides, from whence exhaled a pestilential vapor. At last some others approached, deposited a dead body in the opening, and replaced the stone upon it.

Babouc was in a crowd of people who were among the most ignorant, dirty, and deformed of both genders, all gathered with a foolish look in a large, gloomy space. The constant buzzing noise, people's gestures, and the cash some folks exchanged for the right to sit made him think he was in a market where chairs were being sold. But then he saw several women drop to their knees, seeming to look straight ahead while actually eyeing the men beside them, so he quickly realized he was in a temple. Loud, harsh, wild, and jarring voices filled the space with messy sounds, similar to the braying of donkeys when, in the flatlands of Pictavia, they respond to the cornet calling them. He covered his ears but was almost ready to seal his mouth and pinch his nose when he noticed several workers entering the temple with shovels and picks. They moved a large stone and cleared dirt from around it, releasing a foul stench into the air. Finally, others came over, placed a dead body in the opening, and replaced the stone over it.

"What!" cried Babouc, "do these people bury their dead in the place where they adore the deity? What! are their temples paved with carcasses? I am no longer surprised at those pestilential diseases that frequently depopulate Persepolis. The putrefaction of the dead, and the infected breath of such numbers of the living, assembled and crowded together in the same place, are sufficient to poison the whole terrestial globe. Oh! what an abominable city is Persepolis! The angels probably intend to destroy it in order to build a more beautiful one in its place, and to people it with inhabitants who are more virtuous and better singers. Providence may have its reasons for so doing; to its disposal let us leave all future events."

"What!" Babouc exclaimed, "do these people really bury their dead in the same place where they worship their deity? What! are their temples covered with corpses? I’m no longer surprised by those awful diseases that often wipe out the population of Persepolis. The decay of the dead and the infected breath of so many people crammed together in one spot are enough to poison the entire planet. Oh! what a terrible city Persepolis is! The angels must be planning to destroy it to create a more beautiful one in its place, filled with more virtuous inhabitants and better singers. Providence probably has its reasons for doing this; let’s leave all future events to its care."

Burying the dead in churches. Burying the dead in churches.—"What!" shouted Babouc, "do these people bury their dead in the place where they worship their deity? What! Are their temples filled with bodies?"

Meanwhile the sun approached his meridian height. Babouc was to dine at the other end of the city with a lady for whom her husband, an officer in the army, had given him some letters: but he first took several turns in Persepolis, where he saw other temples, better built and more richly adorned, filled with a polite audience, and resounding with harmonious music. He beheld public fountains, which, though ill-placed, struck the eye by their beauty; squares where the best kings that had governed Persia seemed to breathe in bronze, and others where he heard the people crying out:

Meanwhile, the sun was reaching its highest point in the sky. Babouc was set to have dinner at the other end of the city with a woman for whom her husband, an army officer, had given him some letters. But first, he took a few strolls around Persepolis, where he saw other temples, more beautifully constructed and lavishly decorated, filled with a polite crowd and echoing with harmonious music. He admired public fountains, which, though not ideally placed, caught the eye with their beauty; squares where the greatest kings who had ruled Persia seemed to come to life in bronze, and others where he heard the people shouting:

"When shall we see our beloved master?"

"When will we see our beloved master?"

He admired the magnificent bridges built over the river; the superb and commodious quays; the palaces raised on both sides; and an immense house, where thousands of old soldiers, covered with scars and crowned with victory, offered their daily praises to the god of armies. At last he entered the house of the lady, who, with a set of fashionable people, waited his company to dinner. The house was neat and elegant; the repast delicious; the lady young, beautiful, witty, and engaging; and the company worthy of her; and Babouc every moment said to himself:

He admired the stunning bridges built over the river, the impressive and spacious docks, the grand palaces on both sides, and a huge house where thousands of old soldiers, marked by scars and decorated with victories, offered their daily thanks to the god of war. Finally, he entered the lady's house, where a group of fashionable people awaited his company for dinner. The house was neat and elegant; the meal was delicious; the lady was young, beautiful, witty, and charming; and the guests were deserving of her company. And Babouc kept saying to himself:

"The angel Ithuriel has little regard for the world, or he would never think of destroying such a charming city."

"The angel Ithuriel doesn't care much for the world, or he wouldn't even consider destroying such a lovely city."


In the meantime he observed that the lady, who had begun by tenderly asking news about her husband, spoke more tenderly to a young magi, toward the conclusion of the repast. He saw a magistrate, who, in presence of his wife, paid his court with great vivacity to a widow, while the indulgent widow held out her hand to a young citizen, remarkable for his modesty and graceful appearance.

In the meantime, he noticed that the lady, who had started by sweetly asking about her husband, spoke more affectionately to a young magician toward the end of the meal. He saw a magistrate who, in front of his wife, was very lively in flirting with a widow, while the kind widow extended her hand to a young man known for his modesty and charming looks.

Babouc then began to fear that the genius Ithuriel had but too much reason for destroying Persepolis. The talent he possessed of gaining confidence let him that same day into all the secrets of the lady. She confessed to him her affection for the young magi, and assured him that in all the houses in Persepolis he would meet with similar examples of attachment. Babouc concluded that such a society could not possibly survive: that jealousy, discord, and vengeance must desolate every house; that tears and blood must be daily shed; and, in fine, that Ithuriel would do well to destroy immediately a city abandoned to continual disasters.

Babouc then began to worry that the genius Ithuriel had too much reason to destroy Persepolis. His ability to earn trust allowed him that same day to learn all the lady's secrets. She admitted to him her feelings for the young magician and assured him that in all the homes in Persepolis, he would find similar stories of love. Babouc concluded that such a society could not possibly survive: jealousy, conflict, and revenge would ruin every household; that tears and blood would be shed daily; and, in short, that Ithuriel would be wise to destroy a city doomed to constant misfortune.


Such were the gloomy ideas that possessed his mind, when a grave man in a black gown appeared at the gate and humbly begged to speak to the young magistrate. Phis stripling, without rising or taking the least notice of the old gentleman, gave him some papers with a haughty and careless air, and then dismissed him. Babouc asked who this man was. The mistress of the house said to him in a low voice:

Such were the gloomy thoughts that filled his mind when a serious man in a black gown showed up at the gate and politely asked to speak to the young magistrate. This young man, without standing up or acknowledging the old gentleman at all, handed him some papers with a rude and indifferent attitude, then sent him away. Babouc asked who this man was. The lady of the house said to him quietly:

"He is one of the best advocates in the city, and hath studied the law these fifty years. The other, who is but twenty-five years of age, and has only been a satrap of the law for two days, hath ordered him to make an extract of a process he is going to determine, though he has not as yet examined it."

"He is one of the best lawyers in the city and has been studying the law for fifty years. The other, who is only twenty-five years old and has been a lawyer for just two days, has instructed him to create a summary of a case he is about to decide, even though he hasn't reviewed it yet."

"This giddy youth acts wisely," said Babouc, "in asking counsel of an old man. But why is not the old man himself the judge?"

"This excited young man is smart," said Babouc, "to seek advice from an old man. But why isn't the old man the one making the judgment?"

"Thou art surely in jest," said they; "those who have grown old in laborious and inferior posts are never raised to places of dignity. This young man has a great post, because his father is rich; and the right of dispensing justice is purchased here like a farm."

“You're definitely joking,” they said; “people who have spent their lives in tough and lowly jobs are never promoted to positions of honor. This young man has an important job because his father is wealthy; and here, the power to administer justice is bought just like a piece of land.”

"O unhappy city!" cried Babouc, "this is surely the height of anarchy and confusion. Those who have thus purchased the right of judging will doubtless sell their judgments; nothing do I see here but an abyss of iniquity!"

"O unhappy city!" cried Babouc, "this is definitely the peak of chaos and disorder. Those who think they’ve earned the right to judge will surely sell their judgments; all I see here is a bottomless pit of wrongdoing!"

While he was thus expressing his grief and surprise, a young warrior, who that very day had returned from the army, said to him:

While he was expressing his sadness and shock, a young warrior, who had just come back from the army that very day, said to him:

"Why wouldst thou not have seats in the courts of justice offered for sale? I myself purchased the right of braving death at the head of two thousand men who are under my command. It has this year cost me forty daracs of gold to lie on the earth thirty nights successively in a red dress, and at last to receive two wounds with an arrow, of which I still feel the smart. If I ruin myself to serve the emperor of Persia, whom I never saw, the satrap of the law may well pay something for enjoying the pleasure of giving audience to pleaders."

"Why wouldn't you sell seats in the courts of justice? I personally paid to risk my life at the head of two thousand men under my command. This year, it cost me forty daracs of gold to lie on the ground in a red dress for thirty nights straight, and I ended up getting hit by two arrows, which still hurt me. If I'm putting myself in jeopardy to serve the emperor of Persia, someone I've never even met, the judge should definitely offer something in return for the privilege of listening to lawyers."

Babouc was filled with indignation, and could not help condemning a country, where the highest posts in the army and the law were exposed for sale. He at once concluded that the inhabitants must be entirely ignorant of the art of war, and the laws of equity; and that, though Ithuriel should not destroy them, they must soon be ruined by their detestable administration.

Babouc was filled with anger and couldn’t help but criticize a country where the top positions in the army and the law were up for sale. He immediately concluded that the people must be completely clueless about military strategy and justice, and that, even if Ithuriel didn’t destroy them, they would inevitably be ruined by their terrible leadership.

He was still further confirmed in his bad opinion by the arrival of a fat man, who, after saluting all the company with great familiarity, went up to the young officer and said:

He was further convinced of his negative opinion when a heavyset man arrived, who, after greeting everyone in a very familiar manner, approached the young officer and said:

"I can only lend thee fifty thousand darics of gold; for indeed the taxes of the empire have this year brought me in but three hundred thousand."

"I can only lend you fifty thousand darics of gold; because the taxes of the empire have only brought me in three hundred thousand this year."

Babouc inquired into the character of this man who complained of having gained so little, and was informed that in Persepolis there were forty plebian kings who held the empire of Persia by lease, and paid a small tribute to the monarch.

Babouc asked about the character of the man who complained about gaining so little, and he was told that in Persepolis, there were forty common kings who leased the Persian empire and paid a small tribute to the monarch.


After dinner he went into one of the most superb temples in the city, and seated himself amidst a crowd of men and women, who had come thither to pass away the time. A magi appeared in a machine elevated above the heads of the people, and talked a long time of vice and virtue. He divided into several parts what needed no division at all: he proved methodically what was sufficiently clear, and he taught what everybody knew. He threw himself into a passion with great composure, and went away perspiring and out of breath. The assembly then awoke and imagined they had been present at a very instructive discourse. Babouc said:

After dinner, he went into one of the most impressive temples in the city and sat among a crowd of men and women who had come there to pass the time. A magician appeared in a platform raised above the crowd and spoke for a long time about vice and virtue. He broke down into several parts what didn't need splitting up at all; he methodically proved what was already pretty clear, and he taught what everyone already knew. He became quite passionate with remarkable calmness and left sweating and out of breath. The crowd then came to life, thinking they had attended a very enlightening talk. Babouc said:

"This man had done his best to tire two or three hundred of his fellow-citizens; but his intention was good, and there is nothing in this that should occasion the destruction of Persepolis."

"This guy had tried hard to wear out two or three hundred of his fellow citizens; but his intentions were good, and there's nothing here that should lead to the downfall of Persepolis."

Upon leaving the assembly he was conducted to a public entertainment, which was exhibited every day in the year. It was in a kind of great hall, at the end of which appeared a palace. The most beautiful women of Persepolis and the most considerable satraps were ranged in order, and formed so fine a spectacle that Babouc at first believed that this was all the entertainment. Two or three persons, who seemed to be kings and queens, soon appeared in the vestibule of their palace. Their language was very different from that of the people; it was measured, harmonious, and sublime. Nobody slept. The audience kept a profound silence which was only interrupted by expressions of sensibility and admiration. The duty of kings, the love of virtue, and the dangers arising from unbridled passions, were all described by such lively and affecting strokes, that Babouc shed tears. He doubted not but that these heroes and heroines, these kings and queens whom he had just heard, were the preachers of the empire; he even purposed to engage Ithuriel to come and hear them, being content that such a spectacle would forever reconcile him to the city.

After leaving the gathering, he was taken to a public show that happened every day of the year. It was in a large hall, at the end of which there was a palace. The most beautiful women from Persepolis and the most important governors were lined up, creating such a stunning display that Babouc initially thought this was all there was to the entertainment. Soon, two or three people appeared in the entrance of their palace, looking like kings and queens. Their language was very different from that of the crowd; it was rhythmic, melodious, and grand. No one was sleeping. The audience maintained a deep silence, broken only by expressions of emotion and admiration. The responsibilities of kings, the love of virtue, and the dangers of unchecked desires were all described with such vivid and moving detail that Babouc was brought to tears. He had no doubt that these heroes and heroines, these kings and queens he had just listened to, were the spiritual leaders of the empire. He even planned to have Ithuriel come and hear them, believing that such a spectacle would forever make him fond of the city.

As soon as the entertainment was finished, he resolved to visit the principal queen, who had recommended such pure and noble morals in the palace. He desired to be introduced to her majesty, and was led up a narrow staircase to an ill-furnished apartment in the second story, where he found a woman in a mean dress, who said to him with a noble and pathetic air:

As soon as the entertainment was over, he decided to visit the main queen, who had promoted such pure and noble values in the palace. He wanted to be introduced to her majesty and was taken up a narrow staircase to a sparsely furnished room on the second floor, where he found a woman in a simple dress, who spoke to him with a dignified and touching demeanor:

"This employment does not afford me a sufficient maintenance. I want money, and without money there is no comfort."

"This job doesn't pay me enough to live on. I need money, and without money, there's no comfort."

Babouc gave her an hundred darics of gold, saying:

Babouc gave her a hundred gold darics, saying:

"Had there been no other evil in the city but this, Ithuriel would have been to blame for being so much offended."

"Even if this were the only problem in the city, Ithuriel would still be at fault for being so upset."

From thence he went to spend the evening at the house of a tradesman who dealt in magnificent trifles. He was conducted thither by a man of sense, with whom he had contracted an acquaintance. He bought whatever pleased his fancy; and the toy man with great politeness sold him everything for more than it was worth. On his return home his friends showed him how much he had been cheated. Babouc set down the name of the tradesman in his pocket-book, in order to point him out to Ithuriel as an object of peculiar vengeance on the day when the city should be punished. As he was writing, he heard somebody knock at the door: this was the toy man himself, who came to restore him his purse, which he had left by mistake on the counter.

From there, he went to spend the evening at a shop owned by a tradesman who sold amazing little things. He was taken there by a sensible man he had met. He bought whatever caught his eye, and the toy seller politely sold him everything for way more than it was worth. When he got home, his friends pointed out how much he had been ripped off. Babouc wrote down the tradesman's name in his pocketbook so he could highlight him to Ithuriel as someone to get back at when the city faced its punishment. As he was writing, he heard someone knock at the door: it was the toy seller himself, coming to return the purse he had accidentally left on the counter.

"How canst thou," cried Babouc, "be so generous and faithful, when thou hast had the assurance to sell me these trifles for four times their value?"

"How can you," cried Babouc, "be so generous and faithful when you had the audacity to sell me these trinkets for four times their value?"

"There is not a tradesman," replied the merchant, "of ever so little note in the city, that would not have returned thee thy purse; but whoever said that I sold thee these trifles for four times their value is greatly mistaken: I sold them for ten times their value; and this is so true, that wert thou to sell them again in a month hence, thou wouldst not get even this tenth part. But nothing is more just. It is the variable fancies of men that set a value on these baubles; it is this fancy that maintains an hundred workmen whom I employ; it is this that gives me a fine house and a handsome chariot and horses; it is this, in fine, that excites industry, encourages taste, promotes circulation, and produces abundance.

"There isn't a tradesman," replied the merchant, "of even the slightest reputation in the city who wouldn't have returned your purse to you; but whoever claimed that I sold you these trinkets for four times their value is sorely mistaken: I sold them for ten times their value; and this is so true that if you were to sell them again in a month, you wouldn't even get a tenth of that. But nothing could be more fair. It's the changing whims of people that determine the worth of these items; it's this whim that keeps a hundred workers I employ busy; it's this that provides me with a nice house and a fancy carriage and horses; it's this, ultimately, that drives industry, encourages taste, promotes trade, and creates abundance."

"I sell the same trifles to the neighboring nation at a much higher rate than I have sold them to thee, and by these means I am useful to the empire."

"I sell the same little things to the neighboring country at a much higher price than I sold them to you, and in doing so, I'm helping the empire."

Babouc, after having reflected a moment, erased the tradesman's name from his tablets.

Babouc, after thinking for a moment, removed the tradesman's name from his tablet.


Babouc, not knowing as yet what to think of Persepolis, resolved to visit the magi and the men of letters; for, as the one studied wisdom and the other religion, he hoped that they in conjunction would obtain mercy for the rest of the people. Accordingly, he went next morning into a college of magi. The archimandrite confessed to him, that he had an hundred thousand crowns a year for having taken the vow of poverty, and that he enjoyed a very extensive empire in virtue of his vow of humility; after which he left him with an inferior brother, who did him the honors of the place.

Babouc, still unsure what to make of Persepolis, decided to visit the wise men and the scholars; since one group focused on wisdom and the other on religion, he hoped that together they could find mercy for the rest of the people. So, the next morning, he went to a college of magi. The archimandrite admitted to him that he had a hundred thousand crowns a year despite taking a vow of poverty, and that he held a vast territory thanks to his vow of humility; after that, he left him with a junior brother who showed him around the place.

While the brother was showing him the magnificence of this house of penitence, a report was spread abroad that Babouc was come to reform all these houses. He immediately received petitions from each of them, the substance of which was, "Preserve us and destroy all the rest." On hearing their apologies, all these societies were absolutely necessary: on hearing their mutual accusations, they all deserved to be abolished. He was surprised to find that all the members of these societies were so extremely desirous of edifying the world, that they wished to have it entirely under their dominion.

While the brother was showing him the greatness of this place of reform, word got around that Babouc had come to change all these places. He quickly received requests from each of them, all saying, "Save us and get rid of the others." After listening to their justifications, it seemed that all these groups were absolutely necessary; yet, after hearing their accusations against one another, they all seemed to deserve to be shut down. He was surprised to see that all the members of these groups were so eager to uplift the world that they wanted complete control over it.

Soon after a little man appeared, who was a demi-magi, and who said to him:

Soon after, a little man showed up, who was a half-mage, and said to him:

"I plainly see that the work is going to be accomplished: for Zerdust is returned to earth; and the little girls prophecy, pinching and whipping themselves. We therefore implore thy protection against the great lama."

"I can clearly see that the work is going to be done: Zerdust has returned to earth; and the little girls are prophesying, pinching and whipping themselves. We therefore ask for your protection against the great lama."

"What!" said Babouc, "against the royal pontiff, who resides at Tibet?"

"What!" exclaimed Babouc, "against the royal pontiff who's based in Tibet?"

"Yes, against him, himself."

"Yes, against him, himself."

"What! you are then making war upon him, and raising armies!"

"What! So you’re declaring war on him and raising armies!"

"No, but he says that man is a free agent, and we deny it. We have written several pamphlets against him, which he never read. Hardly has he heard our name mentioned. He has only condemned us in the same manner as a man orders the trees in his garden to be cleared from caterpillars."

"No, but he claims that people are free to make their own choices, and we disagree. We’ve written a bunch of pamphlets against him, but he’s never read them. He’s barely even heard our name. He’s dismissed us just like someone telling their gardener to get rid of caterpillars from the trees."

Babouc was incensed at the folly of these men who made profession of wisdom; and at the intrigues of those who had renounced the world; and at the ambition, pride and avarice of such as taught humility and a disinterested spirit: from all which he concluded that Ithuriel had good reason to destroy the whole race.

Babouc was furious at the foolishness of these men who claimed to be wise; and at the schemes of those who had turned their backs on the world; and at the ambition, pride, and greed of those who preached humility and selflessness: from all this, he concluded that Ithuriel had every right to wipe out the entire human race.


On his return home, he sent for some new books to alleviate his grief, and in order to exhilarate his spirits, invited some men of letters to dine with him; when, like wasps attracted by a pot of honey, there came twice as many as he desired. These parasites were equally eager to eat and to speak; they praised two sorts of persons, the dead and themselves; but none of their contemporaries, except the master of the house. If any of them happened to drop a smart and witty expression, the rest cast down their eyes and bit their lips out of mere vexation that it had not been said by themselves. They had less dissimulation than the magi, because they had not such grand objects of ambition. Each of them behaved at once with all the meanness of a valet and all the dignity of a great man. They said to each other's face the most insulting things, which they took for strokes of wit. They had some knowledge of the design of Babouc's commission; one of them entreated him in a low voice to extirpate an author who had not praised him sufficiently about five years before; another requested the ruin of a citizen who had never laughed at his comedies; and the third demanded the destruction of the academy because he had not been able to get admitted into it. The repast being ended, each of them departed by himself; for in the whole crowd there were not two men that could endure the company or conversation of each other, except at the houses of the rich, who invited them to their tables. Babouc thought that it would be no great loss to the public if all these vermin were destroyed in the general catastrophe.

On his way back home, he ordered some new books to ease his sadness and to lift his spirits, he invited a few literary folks to dine with him; however, like flies drawn to a jar of honey, twice as many as he wanted showed up. These hangers-on were just as eager to eat as they were to talk; they praised two types of people, the dead and themselves; but none of their peers, except the host. If someone happened to come up with a clever remark, the others would look down and bite their lips, frustrated that it hadn’t come from them. They were less pretentious than the magi because their ambitions weren’t as lofty. Each of them acted with all the servility of a servant and all the arrogance of a notable figure. They would openly say the most insulting things to one another, mistaking them for clever banter. They had some idea of Babouc's mission; one of them quietly asked him to get rid of an author who hadn’t given him enough praise about five years ago; another begged for the downfall of a citizen who never laughed at his plays; and a third called for the destruction of the academy because he hadn’t been able to get in. Once the meal was over, each of them left alone; in the entire group, there weren't two people who could stand each other's company or conversation, except in the homes of the wealthy, who invited them over for meals. Babouc thought it wouldn't be a big loss to society if all these pests were wiped out in the general disaster.


Having now got rid of these men of letters, he began to read some new books, where he discovered the true spirit by which his guests had been actuated. He observed with particular indignation those slanderous gazettes, those archives of bad taste, dictated by envy, baseness, and hunger; those ungenerous satires, where the vulture is treated with lenity, and the dove torn in pieces; and those dry and insipid romances, filled with characters of women to whom the author was an utter stranger.

Having now gotten rid of these literary types, he started reading some new books, where he uncovered the true intentions behind his guests' behavior. He noted with particular anger those malicious publications, those collections of poor taste fueled by jealousy, meanness, and greed; those unkind satires, where the predator is dealt with leniently while the innocent suffer; and those dull and lifeless romances, filled with female characters the author knew nothing about.

All these detestable writings he committed to the flames, and went to pass the evening in walking. In this excursion he was introduced to an old man possessed of great learning, who had not come to increase the number of his parasites. This man of letters always fled from crowds; he understood human nature, availed himself of his knowledge, and imparted it to others with great discretion. Babouc told him how much he was grieved at what he had seen and read.

All those awful writings, he burned, and then went out for a walk in the evening. During this outing, he met an elderly man who was very knowledgeable, and who wasn't interested in gaining more followers. This scholar often avoided crowds; he understood human nature, used his knowledge wisely, and shared it with others carefully. Babouc expressed to him how troubled he was by what he had seen and read.

"Thou hast read very despicable performances," said the man of letters; "but in all times, in all countries, and in all kinds of literature, the bad swarm and the good are rare. Thou hast received into thy house the very dregs of pedantry. In all professions, those who are least worthy of appearing are always sure to present themselves with the greatest impudence. The truly wise live among themselves in retirement and tranquillity; and we have still some men and some books worthy of thy attention."

"You've read some really terrible works," said the writer; "but throughout time, in every country, and across all kinds of literature, there are always more bad ones than good. You've brought the worst of pretentiousness into your home. In every profession, the people who deserve to be seen the least tend to show up the most boldly. The truly wise keep to themselves in peace and quiet; and we still have some people and some books that are worth your time."

While he was thus speaking, they were joined by another man of letters; and the conversation became so entertaining and instructive, so elevated above vulgar prejudices, and so conformable to virtue, that Babouc acknowledged he had never heard the like.

While he was talking, they were joined by another educated person; and the conversation became so engaging and informative, so far above common biases, and so aligned with virtue, that Babouc admitted he had never heard anything like it.

"These are men," said he to himself, "whom the angel Ithuriel will not presume to touch, or he must be a merciless being indeed."

"These are men," he thought to himself, "whom the angel Ithuriel wouldn't dare to touch, or he'd have to be a truly merciless being."

Though reconciled to men of letters, he was still enraged against the rest of the nation.

Though he had made amends with the intellectuals, he was still angry with the rest of the country.

"Thou art a stranger," said the judicious person who was talking to him; "abuses present themselves to thy eyes in crowds, while the good, which lies concealed, and which is even sometimes the result of these very abuses, escapes thy observation."

"You’re a stranger," said the wise person who was talking to him; "problems are all around you, while the good, which is often hidden and can even come from these very problems, goes unnoticed."

He then learned that among men of letters there were some who were free from envy; and that even among the magi themselves there were some men of virtue. In fine, he concluded that these great bodies, which by their mutual shocks seemed to threaten their common ruin, were at bottom very salutary institutions; that each society of magi was a check upon its rivals; and that though these rivals might differ in some speculative points, they all taught the same morals, instructed the people, and lived in subjection to the laws; not unlike to those preceptors who watch over the heir of a family while the master of the house watches over them. He conversed with several of these magi, and found them possessed of exalted souls. He likewise learned that even among the fools who pretended to make war on the great lama there had been some men of distinguished merit; and from all these particulars he conjectured that it might be with the manners of Persepolis as it was with the buildings; some of which moved his pity, while others filled him with admiration.

He then discovered that among intellectuals, there were some who were free from jealousy; and that even among the magi, there were individuals of integrity. Ultimately, he concluded that these large groups, which through their conflicts seemed to threaten their collective downfall, were fundamentally beneficial institutions; that each society of magi served as a counterbalance to its competitors; and that although these rivals might have differing opinions on some theoretical issues, they all promoted the same values, educated the people, and adhered to the laws; similar to the tutors who oversee the heir of a family while the head of the household monitors them. He spoke with several of these magi and found them to possess noble spirits. He also learned that even among the fools who claimed to oppose the great lama, there were some individuals of notable merit; and from all of this, he inferred that the customs of Persepolis might be like its architecture, with some aspects evoking his sympathy and others inspiring his admiration.


He said to the man of letters:

He told the writer:

"I plainly see that these magi, whom I at first imagined to be so dangerous, are in reality extremely useful; especially when a wise government hinders them from rendering themselves too necessary; but thou wilt at least acknowledge that your young magistrates, who purchase the office of a judge as soon as they can mount a horse, must display in their tribunals the most ridiculous impertinence and the most iniquitous perverseness. It would doubtless be better to give these places gratuitously to those old civilians who have spent their lives in the study of the law."

"I can clearly see that these magicians, whom I initially thought were so dangerous, are actually very helpful; especially when a sensible government keeps them from making themselves too essential. But you have to admit that your young magistrates, who buy the position of a judge as soon as they can ride a horse, show the most absurd arrogance and the most unjust corruption in their courts. It would definitely be better to give these positions for free to the experienced lawyers who have dedicated their lives to studying the law."

The man of letters replied:

The writer replied:

"Thou hast seen our army before thy arrival at Persepolis; thou knowest that our young officers fight with great bravery, though they buy their posts; perhaps thou wilt find that our young magistrates do not give wrong decisions, though they purchase the right of dispensing justice."

"You've seen our army before you arrived in Persepolis; you know that our young officers fight with great courage, even though they buy their positions; perhaps you'll find that our young magistrates don't make wrong decisions, even though they purchase the right to dispense justice."

He led him next day to the grand tribunal, where an affair of great importance was to be decided. The cause was known to all the world. All the old advocates that spoke on the subject were wavering and unsettled in their opinions. They quoted an hundred laws, none of which were applicable to the question. They considered the matter in a hundred different lights, but never in its true point of view. The judges were more quick in their decisions than the advocates in raising doubts. They were unanimous in their sentiments. They decided justly, because they followed the light of reason. The others reasoned falsely because they only consulted their books.

He took him the next day to the grand court, where a very important issue was about to be settled. The case was known to everyone. All the experienced lawyers discussing it seemed uncertain and indecisive in their views. They cited a hundred laws, none of which applied to the situation. They viewed the matter from a hundred different angles, but never in its true light. The judges were quicker in making decisions than the lawyers were in raising doubts. They all agreed in their opinions. They made the right decision because they followed the guidance of reason. The others reasoned incorrectly because they only referred to their books.

Babouc concluded that the best things frequently arose from abuses. He saw the same day that the riches of the receivers of the public revenue, at which he had been so much offended, were capable of producing an excellent effect; for the emperor having occasion for money, he found in an hour by their means what he could not have procured in six months by the ordinary methods. He saw that those great clouds, swelled with the dews of the earth, restored in plentiful showers what they had thence derived. Besides, the children of these new gentlemen, who were frequently better educated than those of the most ancient families, were sometimes more useful members of society; for he whose father hath been a good accountant may easily become a good judge, a brave warrior, and an able statesman.

Babouc realized that the best outcomes often came from wrongdoings. That same day, he noticed that the wealth of the public revenue collectors, which had upset him so much, could actually have a positive impact. When the emperor needed money, he found in just an hour what he couldn't have obtained in six months through regular means. He understood that those big clouds, filled with moisture from the earth, brought back abundant rain that nourished the land. Moreover, the children of these newly wealthy individuals, who were often better educated than those from the oldest families, sometimes turned out to be more valuable members of society; after all, the child of a good accountant could easily become a fair judge, a brave warrior, or a skilled statesman.


Babouc was insensibly brought to excuse the avarice of the farmer of the revenues, who in reality was not more avaricious than other men, and besides was extremely necessary. He overlooked the folly of those who ruined themselves in order to obtain a post in the law or army; a folly that produces great magistrates and heroes. He forgave the envy of men of letters, among whom there were some that enlightened the world; and he was reconciled to the ambitious and intriguing magi, who were possessed of more great virtues than little vices. But he had still many causes of complaint. The gallantries of the ladies especially, and the fatal effects which these must necessarily produce, filled him with fear and terror.

Babouc was slowly led to justify the greed of the tax farmer, who wasn't really any greedier than most people and was, in fact, quite essential. He ignored the foolishness of those who ruined themselves to secure a position in the law or military; a foolishness that leads to great judges and heroes. He overlooked the jealousy of scholars, some of whom brought light to the world; and he made peace with the ambitious and scheming magi, who had more significant virtues than minor vices. But he still had plenty to complain about. The flirtations of the ladies, in particular, and the disastrous outcomes that could arise from them filled him with fear and dread.

As he was desirous of prying into the characters of men of every condition, he went to wait on a minister of state; but trembled all the way, lest some wife should be assassinated by her husband in his presence. Having arrived at the statesman's, he was obliged to remain two hours in the anti-chamber before his name was sent in, and two hours more after that was done. In this interval, he resolved to recommend to the angel Ithuriel both the minister and his insolent porters. The anti-chamber was filled with ladies of every rank, magi of all colors, judges, merchants, officers, and pedants, and all of them complained of the minister. The miser and the usurer said:

As he was eager to explore the personalities of people from all walks of life, he went to meet a government minister; however, he felt nervous the entire way, worried that a wife might be killed by her husband while he was there. Once he reached the minister's office, he had to wait in the waiting room for two hours before his name was sent in and another two hours after that. During this time, he decided to bring the minister and his rude doormen to the attention of the angel Ithuriel. The waiting room was crowded with women of all ranks, magicians of various backgrounds, judges, merchants, officials, and scholars, and they all were voicing their complaints about the minister. The miser and the usurer said:

"Doubtless this man plunders the provinces."

"Doubtless this guy is taking advantage of the regions."

The capricious reproached him with fickleness; the voluptuary said:

The fickle person criticized him for being inconsistent; the hedonist remarked:

"He thinks of nothing but his pleasure."

"He thinks about nothing but his own pleasure."

The factious hoped to see him soon ruined by a cabal; and the women flattered themselves that they should soon have a younger minister.

The troublemakers hoped to see him quickly brought down by a conspiracy; and the women convinced themselves that they would soon have a younger minister.

Babouc heard their conversation, and could not help saying:

Babouc overheard their conversation and couldn't help saying:

"This is surely a happy man; he hath all his enemies in his anti-chamber; he crushes with his power those that envy his grandeur; he beholds those who detest him groveling at his feet."

"This is definitely a happy man; he has all his enemies in his waiting room; he crushes with his power those who envy his greatness; he sees those who hate him groveling at his feet."

At length he was admitted into the presence-chamber, where he saw a little old man bending under the weight of years and business, but still lively and full of spirits.

At last, he was let into the waiting room, where he saw a small old man hunched over from age and responsibilities, yet still lively and full of energy.

The minister was pleased with Babouc, and to Babouc he appeared a man of great merit. The conversation became interesting. The minister confessed that he was very unhappy; that he passed for rich, while in reality he was poor; that he was believed to be all-powerful, and yet was constantly contradicted; that he had obliged none but a parcel of ungrateful wretches; and that, in the course of forty years labor, he had hardly enjoyed a moment's rest. Babouc was moved with his misfortunes; and thought that if this man had been guilty of some faults, and Ithuriel had a mind to banish him, he ought not to cut him off, but to leave him in possession of his place.

The minister was happy with Babouc, and to Babouc, he seemed like a man of great worth. The conversation got interesting. The minister admitted that he was very unhappy; that he was seen as rich, but in reality, he was poor; that he was thought to be all-powerful, yet was constantly challenged; that he had helped no one but a bunch of ungrateful people; and that, in forty years of work, he had barely enjoyed a moment of peace. Babouc felt sorry for his troubles; and thought that if this man had made some mistakes, and Ithuriel wanted to banish him, he should not be cast out, but should be allowed to keep his position.


While Babouc was talking to the minister, the beautiful lady with whom he had dined entered hastily, her eyes and countenance showing all the symptoms of grief and indignation. She burst into reproaches against the statesman; she shed tears; she complained bitterly that her husband had been refused a place to which his birth allowed him to aspire, and which he had fully merited by his wounds and his service. She expressed herself with such force; she uttered her complaints with such a graceful air; she overthrew objections with so much address, and enforced her arguments with so much eloquence, that she did not leave the chamber till she had made her husband's fortune.

While Babouc was talking to the minister, the beautiful lady he had dined with rushed in, her eyes and face showing all the signs of sadness and anger. She started accusing the statesman; she cried; she bitterly complained that her husband had been denied a position that his background entitled him to and that he had truly earned through his injuries and service. She expressed herself so powerfully; she voiced her complaints with such elegance; she countered objections so skillfully, and made her arguments with such eloquence, that she didn’t leave the room until she had secured her husband’s future.

Babouc gave her his hand, and said: "Is it possible, madam, that thou canst take so much pains to serve a man whom thou dost not love, and from whom thou hast everything to fear?"

Babouc offered her his hand and said, "Is it possible, ma'am, that you can go through so much trouble to help a man you don't love and from whom you have everything to fear?"

"A man whom I do not love!" cried she "know, sir, that my husband is the best friend I have in the world; and there is nothing I would not sacrifice for him, except my own inclinations."

"A man I don't love!" she shouted. "Listen, sir, my husband is the best friend I have in the world, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give up for him, except my own desires."

The lady conducted Babouc to her own house. The husband, who had at last arrived overwhelmed with grief, received his wife with transports of joy and gratitude. He embraced by turns his wife, the little magi, and Babouc. Wit, harmony, cheerfulness, and all the graces, embellished the repast.

The lady took Babouc to her house. Her husband, who had finally arrived, filled with sorrow, welcomed his wife with overwhelming joy and gratitude. He alternately embraced his wife, the little magician, and Babouc. Wit, harmony, cheerfulness, and all the charms adorned the meal.

Babouc, though a Scythian, and sent by a geni, found, that should he continue much longer in Persepolis, he would forget even the angel Ithuriel. He began to grow fond of a city, the inhabitants of which were polite, affable, and beneficent, though fickle, slanderous, and vain. He was much afraid that Persepolis would be condemned. He was even afraid to give in his account.

Babouc, although he was a Scythian and sent by a spirit, realized that if he stayed in Persepolis much longer, he would forget even the angel Ithuriel. He started to grow attached to a city where the people were polite, friendly, and generous, though also changeable, gossipy, and vain. He worried that Persepolis would be judged harshly. He was even hesitant to submit his report.

This, however, he did in the following manner. He caused a little statue, composed of different metals, of earth, and stones, the most precious and the most vile, to be cast by one of the best founders in the city, and carried it to Ithuriel.

This, however, he did in the following way. He had a small statue made from various metals, earth, and stones, both precious and worthless, cast by one of the best artisans in the city, and took it to Ithuriel.

"Wilt thou break," said he, "this pretty statue, because it is not wholly composed of gold and diamonds?"

"Will you break," he said, "this beautiful statue just because it isn't completely made of gold and diamonds?"

Ithuriel immediately understood his meaning, and resolved to think no more of punishing Persepolis, but to leave "The world as it goes."

Ithuriel quickly got what he meant and decided to stop thinking about punishing Persepolis, choosing instead to let "The world as it goes."

"For," said he, "if all is not well, all is passable."

"For," he said, "if everything isn’t perfect, at least it’s manageable."

Thus Persepolis was suffered to remain; nor did Babouc complain like Jonas, who, [according to the scriptures,] was highly incensed at the preservation of Nineveh.

Thus, Persepolis was allowed to stay; nor did Babouc complain like Jonas, who, [according to the scriptures,] was very angry about Nineveh being spared.

The Scales of Justice

[1] When Babouc visited the college of the magi, "the archimandrite [the chief of the monks] confessed to him, that he had an hundred thousand crowns a year for having taken the vow of poverty, and that he enjoyed a very extensive empire in virtue of his vow of humility." (See page 365.)—E.

[1] When Babouc visited the college of the magi, "the archimandrite [the head monk] admitted to him that he made a hundred thousand crowns a year for taking a vow of poverty, and that he had a very large influence because of his vow of humility." (See page 365.)—E.


THE BLACK AND THE WHITE.

Procession of Souls to Judgment. Procession of Souls to Judgment with Good and Evil Genii. From the Frieze in the Grotto del Cardinale.

The adventure of the youthful Rustan is generally known throughout the whole province of Candahar. He was the only son of a Mirza of that country. The title of Mirza there is much the same as that of Marquis among us, or that of Baron among the Germans. The mirza, his father, had a handsome fortune. Young Rustan was to be married to a mirzasse, or young lady of his own rank. The two families earnestly desired their union. Rustan was to become the comfort of his parents, to make his wife happy, and to live blest in her possession.

The story of the young Rustan is well-known throughout the entire province of Candahar. He was the only son of a Mirza from that country. The title of Mirza there is similar to that of a Marquis in our culture, or a Baron in Germany. His father, the Mirza, had a substantial fortune. Young Rustan was set to marry a mirzasse, or young lady of his own status. Both families strongly wanted their union. Rustan was meant to be a source of comfort for his parents, to make his wife happy, and to live blessed in her company.

But he had unfortunately seen the princess of Cachemire at the fair of Kaboul, which is the most considerable fair in the world, and much more frequented than those of Bassora and Astracan. The occasion that brought the old prince of Cachemire to the fair with his daughter was as follows:

But he had unfortunately seen the princess of Kashmir at the fair in Kabul, which is the biggest fair in the world and way more popular than those in Basra and Astrakhan. The reason the old prince of Kashmir came to the fair with his daughter was as follows:

He had lost the two most precious curiosities of his treasury; one of them was a diamond as thick as a man's thumb, upon which the figure of his daughter was engraved by an art which was then possessed by the Indians, and has since been lost; the other was a javelin, which went of itself wherever its owner thought proper to send it. This is nothing very extraordinary among us, but it was thought so at Cachemire.

He had lost the two most valuable treasures in his collection; one was a diamond as thick as a man's thumb, engraved with the image of his daughter by a technique that the Indians once knew but has since been lost; the other was a javelin that would go wherever its owner intended to send it. This isn’t anything remarkable among us, but it was seen as extraordinary in Kashmir.

A fakir belonging to his highness stole these two curiosities; he carried them to the princess:

A fakir who served his highness stole these two curiosities and took them to the princess:

"Keep these two curiosities with the utmost care; your destiny depends upon them;" said he, and then departed.

"Take care of these two curiosities; your future depends on them," he said before leaving.

The Duke of Cachemire, in despair, resolved to visit the fair of Kaboul, in order to see whether there might not, among the merchants who go thither from all quarters of the world, be some one possessed of his diamond and his weapon. The princess carried his diamond well fastened to her girdle; but the javelin, which she could not so easily hide, she had carefully locked up at Cachemire, in a large chest.

The Duke of Cachemire, in despair, decided to go to the fair in Kaboul, hoping to find among the merchants from all over the world someone who had his diamond and his weapon. The princess kept his diamond securely attached to her belt; however, the javelin, which she couldn't hide as easily, was carefully locked away in a large chest back in Cachemire.

Rustan and she saw each other at Kaboul. They loved one another with all the sincerity of persons of their age, and all the tenderness of affection natural to those of their country. The princess gave Rustan her diamond as a pledge of her love, and he promised at his departure to go incognito to Cachemire, in order to pay her a visit.

Rustan and she met in Kabul. They loved each other with all the sincerity typical of their age and the natural tenderness of affection for people from their country. The princess gave Rustan her diamond as a sign of her love, and he promised that when he left, he would travel incognito to Kashmir to visit her.

The young mirza had two favorites, who served him as secretaries, grooms, stewards, and valets de chambre. The name of one was Topaz; he was handsome, well-shaped, fair as a Circassian beauty, as mild and ready to serve as an Armenian, and as wise as a Gueber. The name of the other was Ebene; he was a very beautiful negro, more active and industrious than Topaz, and one that thought nothing difficult. The young mirza communicated his intention of traveling to these. Topaz endeavored to dissuade him from it, with the circumspect zeal of a servant who was unwilling to offend him. He represented to him the great danger to which he exposed himself. He asked him how he could leave two families in despair? how he could pierce the hearts of his parents? He shook the resolution of Rustan; but Ebene confirmed it anew, and obviated all his objections.

The young mirza had two favorites who acted as his secretaries, grooms, stewards, and personal attendants. One of them was named Topaz; he was handsome, well-built, fair like a Circassian beauty, as gentle and eager to help as an Armenian, and as wise as a Zoroastrian. The other was named Ebene; he was a strikingly beautiful Black man, more energetic and hardworking than Topaz, and someone who saw nothing as too challenging. The young mirza shared his plans to travel with them. Topaz tried to talk him out of it, showing the careful concern of a servant who didn’t want to upset him. He pointed out the great danger he would be in. He asked how he could leave two families in despair and how he could break his parents' hearts. He managed to shake Rustan's resolve, but Ebene reinforced it and addressed all his objections.

The young man was not furnished with money to defray the charge of so long a voyage. The prudent Topaz would not have lent him any; Ebene supplied him. He with great address stole his master's diamond, made a false one exactly like it which he put in its place, and pledged the true one to an Armenian for several thousand rupees.

The young man didn’t have the money to cover the cost of such a long journey. The cautious Topaz wouldn’t have lent him any; Ebene helped him out. With a lot of cleverness, he stole his master’s diamond, made a fake one that looked exactly like it, and replaced it, while he pawned the real one to an Armenian for several thousand rupees.

As soon as the marquis possessed these rupees, all things were in readiness for his departure. An elephant was loaded with his baggage. His attendants mounted on horseback.

As soon as the marquis had these rupees, everything was ready for him to leave. An elephant carried his luggage, and his attendants got on horseback.

Topaz said to his master: "I have taken the liberty to expostulate with you upon your enterprise, but after expostulating it is my duty to obey. I am devoted to you, I love you, I will follow you to the extremity of the earth; but let us by the way consult the oracle that is but two parasongs distant from here."

Topaz said to his master, "I've taken the liberty to talk to you about your plan, but after expressing my thoughts, I have to obey. I'm devoted to you, I love you, and I will follow you to the ends of the earth; but let's check in with the oracle that's just two parasongs away from here."

Rustan consented. The answer returned by the oracle, was:

Rustan agreed. The answer given by the oracle was:

"If you go to the east you will be at the west."

"If you go east, you will end up in the west."

Rustan could not guess the meaning of this answer. Topaz maintained that it boded no good. Ebene, always complaisant to his master, persuaded him that it was highly favorable.

Rustan couldn't figure out what this answer meant. Topaz insisted it was a bad sign. Ebene, always nice to his boss, convinced him that it was actually very favorable.

There was another oracle at Kaboul; they went to it. The oracle of Kaboul made answer in these words:

There was another oracle at Kabul; they went to it. The oracle of Kabul responded with these words:

"If you possess, you will cease to possess; if you are conqueror, you will not conquer, if you are Rustan, you will cease to be so."

"If you have something, you will stop having it; if you are a conqueror, you will not conquer; if you are Rustan, you will no longer be that."

This oracle seemed still more unintelligible than the former.

This oracle seemed even more confusing than the last one.

"Take care of yourself," said Topaz.

"Take care of yourself," Topaz said.

"Fear nothing," said Ebene; and this minister, as may well be imagined, was always thought in the right by his master, whose passions and hopes he encouraged. Having left Kaboul, they passed through a vast forest. They seated themselves upon the grass in order to take a repast, and left their horses grazing. The attendants were preparing to unload the elephant which carried the dinner, the table, cloth, plates, &c., when, all on a sudden, Topaz and Ebene were perceived by the little caravan to be missing. They were called, the forest resounded with the names of Topaz and Ebene; the lackeys seek them on every side, and fill the forest with their cries; they return without having seen anything, and without having received any answer.

"Don't be afraid," said Ebene; and this minister, as you can imagine, was always thought to be right by his master, whom he encouraged in his passions and hopes. After leaving Kaboul, they went through a huge forest. They sat down on the grass to have a meal, leaving their horses to graze. The attendants were getting ready to unload the elephant that was carrying the dinner, the table, cloth, plates, etc., when suddenly, Topaz and Ebene were noticed missing by the small caravan. They called out, the forest echoed with the names of Topaz and Ebene; the servants searched in every direction, filling the forest with their shouts; they came back without seeing anything and without receiving any response.

"We have," said they to Rustan, "found nothing but a vulture that fought with an eagle, and stripped it of all its feathers."

"We have," they told Rustan, "only found a vulture that battled an eagle and stripped it of all its feathers."

The mention of this combat excited the curiosity of Rustan; he went on foot to the place; he perceived neither vulture nor eagle; but he saw his elephant, which was still loaded with baggage, attacked by a huge rhinoceros: one struck with its horn, the other with its proboscis. The rhinoceros desisted upon seeing Rustan; his elephant was brought back, but his horses were not to be found.

The mention of this fight piqued Rustan's curiosity; he walked to the location and saw no vultures or eagles. Instead, he spotted his elephant, still loaded with gear, being attacked by a giant rhinoceros: one was striking with its horn, the other with its trunk. The rhinoceros backed off upon seeing Rustan; his elephant was led back, but his horses were nowhere to be found.

"Strange things happen in forests to travelers," cried Rustan.

"Strange things happen in forests to travelers," shouted Rustan.

The servants were in great consternation, and the master in despair from having at once lost his horse, his dear negro, and the wise Topaz, for whom he still entertained a friendship, though always differing from him in opinion.

The servants were extremely upset, and the master was in despair after suddenly losing his horse, his beloved worker, and the clever Topaz, for whom he still felt a bond, even though they often disagreed.

The hope of being soon at the feet of the beautiful princess still consoled the mirza, who, journeying on, now met with a huge streaked ass, which a vigorous two-handed country clown beat with an oaken cudgel. The asses of this sort are extremely beautiful, very scarce, and beyond comparison swift in running. The ass resented the repeated blows of the clown by kicks which might have rooted up an oak. The young mirza, as was reasonable, took upon him the defence of the ass, which was a charming creature, the clown betook himself to flight, crying to the ass, "You shall pay for this."

The hope of soon being at the feet of the beautiful princess still comforted the mirza. As he continued on his journey, he encountered a large, striped donkey being beaten by a strong countryman with a heavy wooden club. Donkeys like this are incredibly beautiful, very rare, and exceptionally fast. The donkey reacted to the man's repeated blows with kicks powerful enough to uproot a tree. The young mirza, understandably, took it upon himself to defend the donkey, which was a lovely creature. The clown then ran away, yelling at the donkey, "You’ll pay for this."

The ass thanked her deliverer in her own language, and approaching him, permitted his caresses and caressed him in her turn. After dinner, Rustan mounted her, and took the road to Cachemire with his servants, who followed him, some on foot and some upon the elephant. Scarce had he mounted his ass, when that animal turned toward Kaboul, instead of proceeding to Cachemire. It was to no purpose for her master to turn the bridle, to kick, to press the sides of the beast with his knees, to spur, to slacken the bridle, to pull toward him, to whip both on the right and the left. The obstinate animal persisted in running toward Kaboul.

The donkey thanked her rescuer in her own way and, moving closer, allowed him to pet her while she returned the gesture. After dinner, Rustan got on her back and headed toward Kashmir with his servants, some walking and others riding on the elephant. As soon as he got on his donkey, she turned toward Kabul instead of going to Kashmir. It was pointless for him to tug on the reins, kick, squeeze her sides with his knees, spur her, loosen the reins, pull her closer, or whip her on either side. The stubborn animal kept running toward Kabul.

Rustan in despair fretted and raved, when he met with a dealer in camels, who said to him:

Rustan, feeling hopeless, was upset and began to rant when he encountered a camel dealer, who said to him:

"Master, you have there a very malicious beast, that carries you where you do not choose to go. If you will give it to me, I will give you the choice of four of my camels."

"Master, you have a very troublesome creature that takes you where you don't want to go. If you give it to me, I’ll offer you a choice of four of my camels."

Rustan thanked providence for having thrown so good a bargain in the way.

Rustan thanked fate for bringing such a great deal his way.

"Topaz was very much in the wrong," said he, "to tell me that my journey would prove unprosperous."

"Topaz was really out of line," he said, "to tell me that my trip would end badly."

He mounts the handsome camel, the others follow; he rejoins his caravan and fancies himself on the road to happiness.

He gets on the beautiful camel, and the others follow; he rejoins his caravan and imagines he's on the path to happiness.

Scarce had he journeyed four parasongs, when he was stopped by a deep, broad, and impetuous torrent, which rolled over huge rocks white with foam. The two banks were frightful precipices which dazzled the sight and made the blood run cold. To pass was impracticable; to go to the right or to the left was impossible.

He had barely traveled four parasongs when he came across a deep, wide, and fast-flowing torrent that rushed over huge, foam-covered rocks. The banks on either side were terrifying cliffs that dazzled the eyes and made his blood run cold. It was impossible to cross; going right or left was out of the question.

"I am beginning to be afraid," said Rustan, "that Topaz was in the right in blaming my journey, and that I was in the wrong in undertaking it. If he were still here he might give me good advice. If I had Ebene with me, he would comfort me and find expedients; but everything fails me."

"I’m starting to feel scared," Rustan said, "that Topaz was right to criticize my trip, and that I was wrong to go. If he were still around, he could offer me some solid advice. If I had Ebene with me, he’d support me and come up with solutions; but now I’ve got nothing."

This perplexity was increased by the consternation of his attendants. The night was dark, and they passed it in lamentations. At last fatigue and dejection made the amorous traveler fall asleep. He awoke at day-break, and saw, spanning the torrent, a beautiful marble bridge which reached from shore to shore.

This confusion was made worse by the distress of his companions. The night was dark, and they spent it in sorrow. Finally, exhaustion and sadness caused the lovesick traveler to fall asleep. He woke up at dawn and saw, arching over the stream, a stunning marble bridge that stretched from one side to the other.

Nothing was heard but exclamations, cries of astonishment and joy. Is it possible? Is this a dream? What a prodigy is this! What an enchantment! Shall we venture to pass? The whole company kneeled, rose up, went to the bridge, kissed the ground, looked up to heaven, stretched out their hands, set their feet on it with trembling, went to and fro, fell into ecstasies; and Rustan said:

Nothing could be heard except for exclamations and cries of amazement and joy. Is this real? Am I dreaming? What a miracle this is! What magic! Should we dare to cross? The entire group knelt, stood up, walked to the bridge, kissed the ground, looked up to the sky, stretched out their hands, stepped on it with shaking legs, wandered back and forth, and fell into raptures; and Rustan said:

"At last heaven favors me. Topaz did not know what he was saying. The oracles were favorable to me. Ebene was in the right, but why is he not here?"

"Finally, luck is on my side. Topaz didn't realize what he was saying. The oracles are on my side. Ebene was correct, but why isn't he here?"

Scarce had the company got beyond the torrent, when the bridge sunk into the water with a prodigious noise.

Scarce had the group gotten past the rushing water when the bridge collapsed into the river with a loud crash.

"So much the better, so much the better," cried Rustan. "Praised be God, blessed be heaven; it would not have me return to my country, where I should be nothing more than a gentleman. The intention of heaven is, that I should wed her I love. I shall become prince of Cachemire; thus in possessing my mistress I shall cease to possess my little marquisate at Candahar. 'I shall be Rustan, and I shall not be Rustan,' because I shall have become a great prince: thus is a great part of the oracle clearly explained in my favor. The rest will be explained in the same manner. I am very happy. But why is not Ebene with me? I regret him a thousand times more than Topaz."

"So much better, so much better," exclaimed Rustan. "Thank God, thank heavens; I wouldn't want to go back to my country, where I'd just be another gentleman. Heaven's intention is for me to marry the woman I love. I'll become the prince of Cachemire; by having my beloved, I'll have to give up my little marquisate in Candahar. 'I will be Rustan, and yet not Rustan,' because I will have become a great prince: this clearly explains a big part of the oracle in my favor. The rest will be revealed in the same way. I'm so happy. But why isn't Ebene with me? I miss him a thousand times more than Topaz."

He proceeded a few parasongs farther with the greatest alacrity imaginable; but, at the close of day, a chain of mountains more rugged than a counterscarp, and higher than the tower of Babel would have been had it been finished, stopped the passage of the caravan, which was again seized with dread.

He moved a few miles further with as much energy as possible; but at the end of the day, a range of mountains tougher than a fortress wall and taller than the unfinished Tower of Babel blocked the caravan's path, which became fearful once again.

All the company cried out: "It is the will of God that we perish here! he broke the bridge merely to take from us all hopes of returning; he raised the mountain for no other reason than to deprive us of all means of advancing. Oh, Rustan! oh, unhappy marquis! we shall never see Cachemire; we shall never return to the land of Candahar."

All the people shouted, "It's God's will that we die here! He destroyed the bridge just to take away our hopes of coming back; he raised the mountain only to block any chance of moving forward. Oh, Rustan! Oh, poor marquis! We will never see Cachemire; we will never return to the land of Candahar."

The most poignant anguish, the most insupportable dejection, succeeded in the soul of Rustan, to the immoderate joy which he had felt, to the hopes with which he had intoxicated himself. He was no longer disposed to interpret the prophecies in his favor.

The deepest pain and the most unbearable sadness replaced the overwhelming joy that Rustan had experienced and the hopes that had filled him with excitement. He was no longer inclined to interpret the prophecies in a way that benefited him.

"Oh, heavens! oh, God of my fathers!" said he, "must I then lose my friend Topaz!"

"Oh, heavens! Oh, God of my ancestors!" he exclaimed, "Do I really have to lose my friend Topaz?"

As he pronounced these words, fetching deep sighs and shedding tears in the midst of his disconsolate followers, the base of the mountain opened, a long gallery appeared to the dazzled eyes in a vault lighted with a hundred thousand torches. Rustan immediately begins to exult, and his people to throw themselves upon their knees and to fall upon their backs in astonishment, and cry out, "A miracle! a miracle! Rustan is the favorite of Witsnow, the well-beloved of Brahma. He will become the master of mankind."

As he said these words, drawing deep sighs and shedding tears in front of his heartbroken followers, the base of the mountain opened up, revealing a long hallway lit by a hundred thousand torches. Rustan immediately started to celebrate, while his people dropped to their knees and fell back in shock, shouting, "A miracle! A miracle! Rustan is the favorite of Witsnow, loved by Brahma. He will become the ruler of humanity."

Rustan believed it; he was quite beside himself; he was raised above himself.

Rustan believed it; he was totally beside himself; he felt elevated beyond himself.

"Alas, Ebene," said he, "my dear Ebene, where are you? Why are you not witness of all these wonders? How did I lose you? Beauteous princess of Cachemire, when shall I again behold your charms!"

"Ah, Ebene," he said, "my dear Ebene, where are you? Why aren't you here to see all these wonders? How did I lose you? Beautiful princess of Kashmir, when will I see your beauty again!"

He advances with his attendants, his elephants, and his camels, under the hollow of the mountain; at the end of which he enters into a meadow enameled with flowers and encompassed with rivulets. At the extremity of the meadows are walks of trees to the end of which the eye cannot reach, and at the end of these alleys is a river, on the sides of which are a thousand pleasure houses with delicious gardens. He everywhere hears concerts of vocal and instrumental music; he sees dances; he makes haste to go upon one of the bridges of the river; he asks the first man he meets what fine country that is?

He moves forward with his attendants, his elephants, and his camels, through the hollow of the mountain; at the end of it, he enters a meadow covered in flowers and surrounded by streams. At the edge of the meadows are tree-lined paths that stretch beyond what the eye can see, and at the end of these paths is a river, lined with countless beautiful houses and lovely gardens. He hears music everywhere—both singing and instruments; he sees people dancing; he rushes to one of the bridges over the river and asks the first person he encounters what a wonderful place this is.

He whom he addressed himself to answered:

He to whom he spoke replied:

"You are in the province of Cachemire; you see the inhabitants immersed in joy and pleasure. We celebrate the marriage of our beauteous princess, who is going to be married to the lord Barbabou, to whom her father promised her. May God perpetuate their felicity!"

"You are in the region of Kashmir; you see the locals caught up in joy and celebration. We’re celebrating the marriage of our beautiful princess, who is about to marry Lord Barbabou, to whom her father promised her. May God continue to bless their happiness!"

At these words Rustan fainted away, and the Cachemirian lord thought he was troubled with the falling sickness. He caused him to be carried to his house, where he remained a long time insensible. He sent in search of the two most able physicians in that part of the country. They felt the patient's pulse, who having somewhat recovered his spirits, sobbed, rolled his eyes, and cried from time to time, "Topaz, Topaz, you were entirely in the right!"

At these words, Rustan fainted, and the Cachemirian lord thought he was having a seizure. He had him carried to his house, where he stayed unconscious for a long time. He sent for the two best doctors in the area. They checked the patient’s pulse, and as he started to regain consciousness, he sobbed, rolled his eyes, and occasionally cried out, "Topaz, Topaz, you were completely right!"

One of the two physicians said to the Cachemirian lord:

One of the two doctors said to the lord of Kashmir:

"I perceive, by this young man's accent, that he is from Candahar, and that the air of this country is hurtful to him. He must be sent home. I perceive by his eyes that he has lost his senses. Entrust me with him, I will carry him back to his own country, and cure him."

"I can tell by this guy's accent that he's from Candahar, and that the climate here isn't good for him. He needs to go home. I can see in his eyes that he's not all there. Let me take care of him, and I'll bring him back to his home country and help him heal."

The other physician maintained that grief was his only disorder; and that it was proper to carry him to the wedding of the princess, and make him dance. Whilst they were in consultation, the patient recovered his health. The two physicians were dismissed, and Rustan remained along with his host.

The other doctor insisted that grief was his only issue, and that it was appropriate to take him to the princess's wedding and let him dance. While they were discussing it, the patient regained his health. The two doctors were sent away, and Rustan stayed with his host.

"My lord," said he, "I ask your pardon for having been so free as to faint in your presence. I know it to be a breach of politeness. I entreat you to accept of my elephant, as an acknowledgment of the kindness you have shown me."

"My lord," he said, "I apologize for being so bold as to faint in front of you. I realize it’s rude. Please accept my elephant as a token of gratitude for your kindness."

He then related to him all his adventure, taking particular care to conceal from him the occasion of his journey.

He then told him all about his adventures, being careful to hide the reason for his journey.

"But, in the name of Witsnow and Brahma," said he to him, "tell me who is this happy Barbabou, who is to marry the princess of Cachemire? Why has her father chosen him for his son-in-law, and why has the princess accepted of him for an husband?"

"But, for the love of Witsnow and Brahma," he asked him, "who is this lucky Barbabou, who is set to marry the princess of Cachemire? Why did her father pick him to be his son-in-law, and why has the princess agreed to marry him?"

"Sir," answered the Cachemirian, "the princess has by no means accepted of Barbabou. She is, on the contrary, in tears, whilst the whole province joyfully celebrates her marriage. She has shut herself up in a tower of her palace. She does not choose to see any of the rejoicings made upon the occasion."

"Sir," replied the Cachemirian, "the princess hasn't accepted Barbabou at all. In fact, she's in tears while the entire province happily celebrates her marriage. She's locked herself away in a tower of her palace and doesn't want to see any of the festivities."

Rustan, at hearing this, perceived himself revived. The bloom of his complexion, which grief had caused to fade, appeared again upon his countenance.

Rustan, upon hearing this, felt a surge of energy. The lost color in his face, which had faded due to grief, returned to his cheeks.

"Tell me, I entreat you," continued he, "why the prince of Cachemire is obstinately bent upon giving his daughter to lord Barbabou whom she does not love?"

"Please tell me," he said, "why the prince of Cachemire is so determined to give his daughter to Lord Barbabou, even though she doesn't love him?"

"This is the fact," answered the Cachemirian. "Do you know that our august prince lost a large diamond and a javelin which he considered as of great value?"

"This is the truth," replied the Cachemirian. "Did you know that our esteemed prince lost a valuable diamond and a javelin that he regarded as very important?"

"Ah! I very well know that," said Rustan.

"Ah! I know that very well," said Rustan.

"Know then," said his host, "that our prince, being in despair at not having heard of his two precious curiosities, after having caused them to be sought for all over the world, promised his daughter to whoever should bring him either the one or the other. A lord Barbabou came who had the diamond, and he is to marry the princess to-morrow."

"Listen up," said his host, "our prince is feeling hopeless because he hasn’t heard about his two prized treasures. After searching for them everywhere, he promised his daughter to whoever finds one or the other. A lord named Barbabou showed up with the diamond, and he’s set to marry the princess tomorrow."

Rustan turned pale, stammered out a compliment, took leave of his host, and galloped upon his dromedary to the capital city, where the ceremony was to be performed. He arrives at the palace of the prince, he tells him he has something of importance to communicate to him, he demands an audience. He is told that the prince is taken up with the preparations for the wedding.

Rustan turned pale, stumbled over a compliment, said goodbye to his host, and raced off on his camel to the capital city, where the ceremony was set to take place. He arrived at the prince's palace and mentioned that he had something important to discuss, requesting a meeting. He was told that the prince was busy with wedding preparations.

"It is for that very reason," said he, "that I am desirous of speaking to him." Such is his importunity, that he is at last admitted.

"It’s for that reason," he said, "that I really want to talk to him." His persistence is such that he is finally let in.

"Prince," said he, "may God crown all your days with glory and magnificence! Your son-in-law is a knave."

"Prince," he said, "may God bless all your days with glory and greatness! Your son-in-law is a scoundrel."

"What! a knave! how dare you speak in such terms? Is that a proper way of speaking to a duke of Cachemire of a son-in-law of whom he has made choice?"

"What! You scoundrel! How dare you talk like that? Is that a respectful way to address a duke of Cachemire about a son-in-law he has chosen?"

"Yes, he is a knave," continued Rustan; "and to prove it to your highness, I have brought you back your diamond."

"Yeah, he's a con artist," Rustan continued; "and to prove it to you, Your Highness, I've brought back your diamond."

The duke, surprised at what he heard, compared the two diamonds; and as he was no judge of precious stones, he could not determine which was the true one.

The duke, taken aback by what he heard, examined the two diamonds; and since he wasn't an expert on gemstones, he couldn't figure out which one was the genuine article.

"Here are two diamonds," said he, "and I have but one daughter, I am in a strange perplexity."

"Here are two diamonds," he said, "and I have only one daughter. I'm in a tough spot."

He sent for Harbabou, and asked him if he had not imposed upon him, Harbabou swore he had bought his diamond from an Armenian; the other did not tell him who he had his from; but he proposed an expedient, which was that he should engage his rival in single combat.

He called for Harbabou and asked him if he had been tricked. Harbabou swore he had bought his diamond from an Armenian. The other guy didn’t reveal where he got his from, but he suggested a solution: they should settle their dispute through a one-on-one fight.

"It is not enough for your son-in-law to give a diamond," said he, "he should also give proofs of valor. Do not you think it just that he who kills his rival should marry the princess?"

"It’s not enough for your son-in-law to give a diamond," he said. "He should also show proof of his bravery. Don’t you think it’s fair that the one who defeats his rival should marry the princess?"

"Undoubtedly," answered the prince. "It will be a fine sight for the court. Fight directly. The conqueror shall take the arms of the conquered according to the customs of Cachemire, and he shall marry my daughter."

"Definitely," replied the prince. "It'll be a great show for the court. Fight straight up. The winner will take the loser's weapons as per the traditions of Cachemire, and he will marry my daughter."

The two pretenders to the hand of the princess go down into the court. Upon the stairs there was a jay and a raven. The raven cried, "Fight, fight." The jay cried, "Don't fight."

The two suitors for the princess's hand walk into the courtyard. On the stairs, there was a jay and a raven. The raven shouted, "Fight, fight." The jay shouted, "Don't fight."

This made the prince laugh; the two rivals scarce took any notice of it. They begin the combat. All the courtiers made a circle round them. The princess, who kept herself constantly shut up in her tower, did not choose to behold this sight. She never dreampt that her lover was at Cachemire, and she hated Barbabou to such a degree, that she could not bear the sight of him. The combat had the happiest result imaginable. Barbabou was killed outright; and this greatly rejoiced the people, because he was ugly and Rustan was very handsome. The favor of the public is almost always determined by this circumstance.

This made the prince laugh; the two rivals barely noticed it. They began the fight. All the courtiers formed a circle around them. The princess, who always kept herself locked away in her tower, didn’t want to see this. She never imagined that her lover was in Cachemire, and she hated Barbabou so much that she couldn’t stand to look at him. The fight had the best possible outcome. Barbabou was killed instantly, which made the people very happy, because he was ugly and Rustan was very handsome. Public favor is almost always decided by this factor.

The conqueror put on the coat of mail, scarf, and the casque of the conquered, and came, followed by the whole court, to present himself under the windows of his mistress. The multitude cried aloud: "Beautiful princess, come and see your handsome lover, who has killed his ugly rival." These words were re-echoed by her women. The princess unluckily looked out of the window, and seeing the armor of a man she hated, she ran like one frantic to her strong box and took out the fatal javelin, which flew to pierce Rustan, notwithstanding his cuirass. He cried out loudly, and at this cry the princess thought she again knew the voice of her unhappy lover.

The conqueror put on the armor, scarf, and helmet of the defeated, and came, accompanied by the entire court, to present himself under his lady’s windows. The crowd shouted, “Beautiful princess, come and see your handsome lover who has killed his ugly rival.” These words were echoed by her ladies. Unfortunately, the princess glanced out of the window, and seeing the armor of a man she despised, she rushed frantically to her strongbox and pulled out the deadly javelin, which flew to pierce Rustan, despite his armor. He cried out loudly, and at that cry, the princess thought she recognized the voice of her unfortunate lover.

She ran down stairs, with her hair disheveled, and death in her eyes as well as her heart. Rustan had already fallen, all bloody, into the arms of his attendants. She sees him. Oh, moment! oh, sight! oh, discovery of inexpressible grief, tenderness and horror! She throws herself upon him, and embraces him.

She dashed down the stairs, her hair a mess, with despair in her eyes and in her heart. Rustan had already collapsed, covered in blood, into the arms of his attendants. She spots him. Oh, what a moment! Oh, what a sight! Oh, the overwhelming mix of grief, tenderness, and horror! She throws herself at him and wraps her arms around him.

"You receive," said she, "the first and last kisses of your mistress and your murderer."

"You get," she said, "the first and last kisses from your lover and your killer."

She pulls the dart from the wound, plunges it in her heart, and dies upon the body of the lover whom she adores. The father, terrified, in despair, and ready to die like his daughter, tries in vain to bring her to life. She was no more. He curses the fatal dart, breaks it to pieces, throws away the two fatal diamonds; and whilst he prepared the funeral of his daughter instead of her marriage, he caused Rustan, who weltered in his blood and had still some remains of life, to be carried to his palace.

She pulls the dart from the wound, stabs it into her heart, and dies on top of the body of her beloved. The father, terrified, in despair, and ready to die like his daughter, tries in vain to bring her back to life. She was gone. He curses the deadly dart, shatters it into pieces, throws away the two cursed diamonds; and while he arranged for his daughter's funeral instead of her wedding, he had Rustan, who was lying in his blood and still had some signs of life, taken to his palace.

He was put into bed. The first objects he saw on each side of his deathbed were Topaz and Ebene. This surprise made him in some degree recover his strength.

He was put to bed. The first things he noticed on either side of his deathbed were Topaz and Ebene. This unexpected sight helped him regain some of his strength.

"Cruel men," said he, "why did you abandon me? Perhaps the princess would still be alive if you had been with the unhappy Rustan."

"Cruel men," he said, "why did you leave me? Maybe the princess would still be alive if you had been with the unfortunate Rustan."

"I have not forsaken you a moment," said Topaz.

"I haven't abandoned you for a second," said Topaz.

"I have always been with you," said Ebene.

"I've always been with you," said Ebene.

"Ah! what do you say? why do you insult me in my last moments?" answered Rustan, with a languishing voice.

"Ah! what do you mean? Why are you insulting me in my final moments?" Rustan replied weakly.

"You may believe me," said Topaz. "You know I never approved of this fatal journey, the dreadful consequences of which I foresaw. I was the eagle that fought with the vulture and stripped it of its feathers; I was the elephant that carried away the baggage, in order to force you to return to your own country; I was the streaked ass that carried you, whether you would or no, to your father; it was I that made your horses go astray; it was I that caused the torrent that prevented your passage; it was I that raised the mountain which stopped up a road so fatal to you; I was the physician that advised you to return to your own country; I was the jay that cried to you not to fight."

"You can believe me," Topaz said. "You know I never supported this dangerous journey, the awful consequences of which I predicted. I was the eagle that battled the vulture and plucked out its feathers; I was the elephant that carried the baggage to make you go back to your own country; I was the striped donkey that took you, whether you liked it or not, to your father; it was me who led your horses off course; it was me who caused the flood that blocked your way; it was me who created the mountain that closed off a path so deadly for you; I was the doctor who told you to go back home; I was the jay that warned you not to fight."

"And I," said Ebene, "was the vulture that he stripped of his feathers, the rhinoceros who gave him a hundred strokes with the horn, the clown that beat the streaked ass, the merchant who made you a present of camels to hasten you to your destruction; I dug the cavern that you crossed, I am the physician that encouraged you to walk, the raven that cried out to you to combat."

"And I," said Ebene, "was the vulture he plucked, the rhino that hit him a hundred times with my horn, the fool that whipped the striped donkey, the merchant who gifted you camels to speed you toward your downfall; I dug the cave you crossed, I’m the doctor who pushed you to get up and walk, the raven that shouted at you to fight."

"Alas!" said Topaz, "remember the oracles: 'If you go to the east you will be at the west.'"

"Wow!" said Topaz, "remember the prophecies: 'If you head east, you'll end up in the west.'"

"Yes," said Ebene, "here the dead are buried with their faces turned to the west. The oracle was plain enough, though you did not understand it. You possessed, and you did not possess; for though you had the diamond, it was a false one, and you did not know it. You are conqueror, and you die; you are Rustan, and you cease to be so: all has been accomplished."

"Yes," said Ebene, "here the dead are buried facing the west. The oracle was clear enough, even if you didn't get it. You had it all, and yet you didn't; because although you had the diamond, it was fake, and you didn't realize it. You are a conqueror, and you die; you are Rustan, and you stop being that: everything has been done."

Whilst he spoke thus, four white wings covered the body of Topaz, and four black ones that of Ebene.

While he spoke like this, four white wings covered Topaz's body, and four black ones covered Ebene's.

"What do I see?" cried Rustan.

"What do I see?" shouted Rustan.

Topaz and Ebene answered together: "You see your two geniuses."

Topaz and Ebene replied in unison, "You see your two geniuses."

"Good gentlemen," cried the unhappy Rustan, "how came you to meddle; and what occasion had a poor man for two geniuses?"

"Good gentlemen," shouted the unfortunate Rustan, "why did you intervene, and what reason did a poor man have for two spirits?"

"It is a law," answered Topaz; "every man has too geniuses. Plato was the first man who said so, and others have repeated it after him. You see that nothing can be more true. I who now speak to you, am your good genius. I was charged to watch over you to the last moment of your life. Of this task I have faithfully acquitted myself."

"It’s a law," Topaz replied. "Every man has two geniuses. Plato was the first to say that, and others have echoed him since. You see, nothing could be more true. I, speaking to you now, am your good genius. I was assigned to watch over you until the very end of your life. I’ve fulfilled this task faithfully."

"But," said the dying man, "if your business was to serve me, I am of a nature much superior to yours. And then how can you have the assurance to say you are my good genius, since you have suffered me to be deceived in everything I have undertaken, and since you suffer both my mistress and me to die miserably?"

"But," said the dying man, "if your role was to serve me, I'm clearly of a much higher nature than you. So how can you confidently say you're my guardian spirit, when you've allowed me to be misled in everything I've tried, and you let both my lover and me perish in such misery?"

"Alas!" said Topaz, "it was your destiny."

"Honestly!" said Topaz, "it was your fate."

"If destiny does all," answered the dying man, "what is a genius good for? And you, Ebene, with your four black wings, you are, doubtless, my evil genius."

"If fate controls everything," replied the dying man, "then what good is a genius? And you, Ebene, with your four dark wings, you are certainly my dark angel."

"You have hit it," answered Ebene.

"You got it," replied Ebene.

"Then I suppose you were the evil genius of my princess likewise," said Rustan.

"Then I guess you were also the evil genius behind my princess," said Rustan.

"No," replied Ebene, "she had an evil genius of her own, and I seconded him perfectly."

"No," replied Ebene, "she had her own evil influence, and I backed him up completely."

"Ah! cursed Ebene," said Rustan, "if you are so malicious, you don't belong to the same master with Topaz: you have been formed by two different principles, one of which is by nature good, the other evil."

"Ah! cursed Ebene," Rustan said, "if you're this malicious, you don't belong to the same master as Topaz: you've been shaped by two different forces, one of which is naturally good, the other evil."

"That does not follow," said Ebene, "this is a very knotty point."

"That doesn’t make sense," said Ebene, "this is a complicated issue."

"It is not possible," answered the dying man, "that a benevolent being could create so destructive a genius."

"It can't be," the dying man replied, "that a kind being would create such a destructive genius."

"Possible or not possible," replied the genius, "the thing is just as I say."

"Possible or not possible," replied the genius, "the situation is exactly as I say."

"Alas!" said Topaz, "my poor unfortunate friend, don't you see that that rogue is so malicious as to encourage you to dispute, in order to inflame your blood and hasten your death?"

"Alas!" said Topaz, "my poor unfortunate friend, don't you realize that that scoundrel is so spiteful as to provoke you into arguing, just to stir up your emotions and speed up your demise?"

"Get you gone," said the melancholy Rustan, "I am not much better satisfied with you than with him. He at least acknowledges that it was his intention to hurt me; and you, who pretended to defend me, have done me no service at all."

"Get lost," said the sad Rustan, "I'm not any happier with you than with him. At least he admits that he meant to hurt me; and you, who acted like you were defending me, haven't helped me at all."

"I am very sorry for it," said the good genius.

"I really apologize for that," said the kind spirit.

"And I too," said the dying man; "there is something at the bottom of all this which I cannot comprehend."

"And I also," said the dying man; "there's something behind all of this that I can't understand."

"Nor I neither," said the good genius.

"Neither do I," said the good spirit.

"I shall know the truth of the matter in a moment," said Rustan. "We shall see that," said Topaz.

"I'll find out the truth soon," said Rustan. "We'll see about that," said Topaz.

The whole scene then vanished. Rustan again found himself in the house of his father, which he had not quitted, and in his bed, where he had slept an hour.

The entire scene then disappeared. Rustan found himself back in his father's house, where he hadn't left, and in his bed, where he had slept for an hour.

He awakes in astonishment, perspiring all over, and quite wild. He rubs himself, he calls, he rings the bell. His valet de chambre, Topaz, runs in, in his nightcap, and yawning.

He wakes up in shock, sweating all over and feeling frantic. He rubs himself, calls out, and rings the bell. His valet, Topaz, rushes in, wearing his nightcap and yawning.

"Am I dead or alive?" cried out Rustan, "shall the beauteous princess of Cachemire escape?

"Am I dead or alive?" Rustan shouted. "Will the beautiful princess of Cachemire get away?"

"Does your lordship rave?" answered Topaz, coldly.

"Are you seriously losing it?" replied Topaz,冷淡地说.

"Ah!" cried Rustan, "what then is become of this barbarous Ebene, with his four black wings! It is he that makes me die by so cruel a death."

"Ah!" shouted Rustan, "what has happened to this savage Ebene, with his four black wings! He's the one causing my suffering with such a cruel death."

"My lord," answered Topaz, "I left him snoring up stairs. Would you have me bid him come down?"

"My lord," replied Topaz, "I left him snoozing upstairs. Would you like me to ask him to come down?"

"The villain," said Rustan, "has persecuted me for six months together. It was he who carried me to the fatal fair of Kaboul; it is he that cheated me of the diamond which the princess presented me; he is the sole cause of my journey, of the death of my princess, and of the wound with a javelin, of which I die in the flower of my age."

"The villain," Rustan said, "has tormented me for six months straight. It was him who took me to the disastrous fair of Kaboul; he’s the one who swindled me out of the diamond that the princess gave me; he’s the only reason for my journey, for the death of my princess, and for the javelin wound that’s going to take my life in the prime of my youth."

"Take heart," said Topaz, "you were never at Kaboul; there is no princess of Cachemire; her father never had any children but two boys, who are now at college; you never had a diamond; the princess cannot be dead, because she never was born; and you are in perfect health."

"Don't worry," said Topaz, "you were never in Kaboul; there is no princess of Cachemire; her father only had two sons, who are now in college; you never had a diamond; the princess can't be dead because she was never born; and you're perfectly healthy."

"What! is it not then true that you attended me whilst dying, and in the bed of the prince of Cachemire? Did you not acknowledge to me, that, in order to preserve me from so many dangers, you were an eagle, an elephant, a streaked ass, a physician, and a jay?"

"What! Is it not true that you were there for me while I was dying, and in the bed of the prince of Kashmir? Did you not admit to me that, to protect me from so many dangers, you were an eagle, an elephant, a striped donkey, a doctor, and a jay?"

"My lord, you have dreampt all this," answered Topaz; "our ideas are no more of our own creating whilst we are asleep than whilst we are awake. God has thought proper that this train of ideas should pass in your head, most probably to convey some instruction to you, of which you may make a good use."

"My lord, you dreamed all this," replied Topaz; "our thoughts aren't any more of our own making while we sleep than while we're awake. God must have decided that this stream of thoughts should flow through your mind, likely to teach you something valuable that you can use well."

"You make a jest of me," replied Rustan, "how long have I slept?"

"You’re making fun of me," Rustan replied, "how long have I been asleep?"

"My lord," said Topaz, "you have not yet slept an hour."

"My lord," Topaz said, "you haven't slept even an hour yet."

"Cursed reasoner," returned Rustan, "how is it possible that I could be in the space of an hour at the fair of Kaboul six months ago; that I could have returned from thence, have traveled to Cachemire, and that Barbabou, the princess, and I, should have died?"

"Cursed reasoner," Rustan replied, "how is it possible that I could have been at the fair in Kabul six months ago, returned from there, traveled to Kashmir, and that Barbabou, the princess, and I, should have died?"

"My lord," said Topaz, "nothing can be more easy and more common; and you might have traveled around the world, and have met with a great many more adventures in much less time. Is it not true that you can, in an hour's time, read the abridgment of the Persian history, written by Zoroaster? yet this abridgment contains eight hundred thousand years. All these events pass before your eyes one after another, in an hour's time. Now you must acknowledge, that it is as easy to Brahma to confine them to the space of an hour, as to extend them to the space of eight hundred thousand years. It is exactly the same thing. Imagine to yourself that time turns upon a wheel whose diameter is infinite. Under this vast wheel is a numerous multitude of wheels one within another. That in the centre is imperceptible, and goes round an infinite number of times, whilst the great wheel performs but one revolution. It is evident that all the events which have happened from the beginning of the world, to its end, might have happened in much less time than the hundred thousandth part of a second; and one may even go so far as to assert that the thing is so."

"My lord," said Topaz, "nothing could be easier or more ordinary; you could have traveled the world and experienced many more adventures in much less time. Isn't it true that you can read the summary of Persian history, written by Zoroaster, in just an hour? Yet this summary covers eight hundred thousand years. All these events play out before you one after another in just an hour. You must admit that it's just as easy for Brahma to fit them into an hour as it is to stretch them over eight hundred thousand years. It's exactly the same thing. Imagine time as a wheel with an infinite diameter. Beneath this enormous wheel is a countless number of wheels, one inside another. The one in the center is barely noticeable and spins an infinite number of times while the large wheel only makes one full turn. It's clear that all the events that have occurred from the beginning of the world to its end could have happened in much less time than a hundred-thousandth of a second; one could even go so far as to claim that this is indeed the case."

"I cannot comprehend all this," said Rustan.

"I can't understand all of this," said Rustan.

"If you want information," said Topaz, "I have a parrot that will easily explain it to you. He was born some time before the deluge; he has been in the ark; he has seen a great deal; yet he is but a year and a half old. He will relate to you his history, which is extremely interesting."

“If you want information,” said Topaz, “I have a parrot that can easily tell you all about it. He was born long before the flood; he’s been on the ark; he’s seen a lot; and he’s only a year and a half old. He’ll share his story with you, and it’s really fascinating.”

"Go fetch your parrot," said Rustan, "it will amuse me till I again find myself disposed to sleep."

"Go get your parrot," said Rustan, "it will keep me entertained until I feel like sleeping again."

"It is with my sister, the nun," said Topaz: "I will go and fetch it. It will please you; its memory is faithful, it relates in a simple manner, without endeavoring to show wit at every turn."

"It’s with my sister, the nun," Topaz said. "I’ll go get it. You’ll like it; it’s a loyal memory, telling the story in a straightforward way without trying too hard to be clever all the time."

"So much the better," said Rustan, "I like that manner of telling stories."

"So much the better," said Rustan, "I like that way of telling stories."

The parrot being brought to him, spoke in this manner:

The parrot that was brought to him spoke like this:


N.B. Mademoiselle Catherine Vade could never find the history of the parrot in the commonplace-book of her late cousin Anthony Vade, author of that tale. This is a great misfortune, considering what age that parrot lived in.

N.B. Mademoiselle Catherine Vade could never find the story of the parrot in the journal of her late cousin Anthony Vade, the author of that tale. This is a huge disappointment, given the era that parrot lived in.

The parrot.

Young Memnon. Young Memnon. [1]

MEMNON THE PHILOSOPHER.

Memnon one day took it into his head to become a great philosopher. "To be perfectly happy," said he to himself, "I have nothing to do but to divest myself entirely of passions; and nothing is more easy, as everybody knows. In the first place, I will never be in love; for, when I see a beautiful woman, I will say to myself, these cheeks will one day grow sallow and wrinkled, these eyes be encircled with vermilion, that bosom become lean and emaciated, that head bald and palsied. Now I have only to consider her at present in imagination as she will afterwards appear in reality, and certainly a fair face will never turn my head.

Memnon one day decided he wanted to be a great philosopher. "To be completely happy," he thought to himself, "I just need to get rid of all my passions; and that’s really easy, as everyone knows. First of all, I will never fall in love; because when I see a beautiful woman, I’ll remind myself that these cheeks will eventually become pale and wrinkled, these eyes will be lined with age, that body will grow thin and frail, and that head will become bald and shaky. Now, all I have to do is picture her in my mind as she will look in the future, and surely, a pretty face will never distract me."

"In the second place, I shall always be temperate. It will be in vain to tempt me with good cheer, with delicious wines, or the charms of society, I will have only to figure to myself the consequences of excess—an aching head, a loathing stomach, the loss of reason, of health, and of time: I will then only eat to supply the waste of nature; my health will be always equal, my ideas pure and luminous. All this is so easy that there is no merit in accomplishing it."

"In addition, I will always be moderate. There's no point in trying to tempt me with great food, fancy wines, or social gatherings; I just have to think about the consequences of overindulgence—like a pounding headache, an upset stomach, losing my sanity, health, and precious time. I'll only eat to meet my body’s needs; my health will remain steady, and my thoughts clear and bright. This is so straightforward that it’s not really impressive to achieve it."

"But," says Memnon, "I must think a little of how I am to regulate my fortune: why, my desires are moderate, my wealth is securely placed with the Receiver General of the finances of Nineveh. I have wherewithal to live independent; and that is the greatest of blessings. I shall never be under the cruel necessity of dancing attendance at court. I will never envy any one, and nobody will envy me. Still all this is easy. I have friends, and I will preserve them, for we shall never have any difference. I will never take amiss anything they may say or do; and they will behave in the same way to me. There is no difficulty in all this."

"But," says Memnon, "I need to think a bit about how to manage my fortune: my desires are simple, and my money is safely kept with the Receiver General of the finances in Nineveh. I have what I need to live on my own; and that’s the greatest blessing. I will never have to deal with the harsh requirement of waiting around at court. I won't be envious of anyone, and no one will be envious of me. Still, all this seems straightforward. I have friends, and I will keep them close, because we will never have any disagreements. I won’t take offense at anything they say or do; and they will treat me the same way. None of this is difficult."

Having thus laid this little plan of philosophy in his closet, Memnon put his head out of the window. He saw two women walking under the plane-trees near his house. The one was old, and appeared quite at her ease. The other was young, handsome, and seemingly much agitated. She sighed, she wept, and seemed on that account still more beautiful. Our philosopher was touched, not, to be sure, with the lady, (he was too much determined not to feel any uneasiness of that kind) but with the distress which he saw her in. He came down stairs, and accosted the young Ninevite, designing to console her with philosophy. That lovely person related to him, with an air of the greatest simplicity, and in the most affecting manner, the injuries she sustained from an imaginary uncle—with what art he had deprived her of some imaginary property, and of the violence which she pretended to dread from him.

Having laid out this little plan of philosophy in his study, Memnon leaned out the window. He saw two women walking under the plane trees near his house. One was old and looked completely at ease. The other was young, beautiful, and seemed quite agitated. She sighed, cried, and appeared even more beautiful because of it. Memnon was moved, not by romantic feelings toward the lady (he was too determined to feel any such unease) but by the distress he saw her in. He came downstairs and approached the young woman, intending to console her with philosophy. That lovely person told him, with the greatest simplicity and in the most touching manner, about the wrongs she suffered from an imaginary uncle—how he had tricked her out of some imaginary property, and the violence she claimed to fear from him.

"You appear to me," said she, "a man of such wisdom, that if you will come to my house and examine into my affairs, I am persuaded you will be able to relieve me from the cruel embarrassment I am at present involved in."

"You seem to me," she said, "like a man of such wisdom that if you come to my house and look into my situation, I'm sure you will be able to help me out of the terrible mess I'm currently in."

Memnon did not hesitate to follow her, to examine her affairs philosophically, and to give her sound counsel.

Memnon didn’t think twice about following her, looking into her situation thoughtfully, and offering her good advice.

The afflicted lady led him into a perfumed chamber, and politely made him sit down with her on a large sofa, where they both placed themselves opposite to each other, in the attitude of conversation; the one eager in telling her story, the other listening with devout attention. The lady spoke with downcast eyes, whence there sometimes fell a tear, and which, as she now and then ventured to raise them, always met those of the sage Memnon. Their discourse was full of tenderness, which redoubled as often as their eyes met. Memnon took her affairs exceedingly to heart, and felt himself every instant more and more inclined to oblige a person so virtuous and so unhappy. By degrees, in the warmth of conversation they drew nearer. Memnon counseled her with great wisdom, and gave her most tender advice.

The distressed lady guided him into a fragrant room and kindly invited him to sit with her on a large sofa, where they faced each other, ready for a conversation; one eagerly sharing her story, the other listening attentively. The lady spoke with her eyes cast down, occasionally letting a tear fall, and when she dared to lift them, she always found herself meeting the gaze of the wise Memnon. Their exchange was filled with warmth, which intensified each time their eyes connected. Memnon took her troubles to heart, feeling increasingly inclined to help someone so noble and so sorrowful. Gradually, as their conversation deepened, they moved closer. Memnon advised her wisely and gave her the most compassionate counsel.

At this interesting moment, as may easily be imagined, who should come in but the uncle. He was armed from head to foot, and the first thing he said was, that he would immediately sacrifice, as was just, both Memnon and his niece. The latter, who made her escape, knew that he was disposed to pardon, provided a good round sum were offered to him. Memnon was obliged to purchase his safety with all he had about him. In those days people were happy in getting so easily quit. America was not then discovered, and distressed ladies were not then so dangerous as they are now.

At this intriguing moment, as you can probably guess, in walks the uncle. He was geared up from head to toe, and the first thing he said was that he would immediately sacrifice both Memnon and his niece, as was only fair. The niece, who managed to escape, knew he was willing to show mercy if a nice sum of money was offered. Memnon had to pay for his safety with everything he had on him. Back then, people were glad to get off so easily. America hadn't been discovered yet, and distressed women weren't as much of a threat as they are now.

Memnon, covered with shame and confusion, got home to his own house. He there found a card inviting him to dinner with some of his intimate friends.

Memnon, feeling embarrassed and confused, got home to his place. There, he found a card inviting him to dinner with some of his close friends.

"If I remain at home alone," said he, "I shall have my mind so occupied with this vexatious adventure, that I shall not be able to eat a bit, and I shall bring upon myself some disease. It will therefore be prudent in me to go to my intimate friends and partake with them of a frugal repast. I shall forget, in the sweets of their society, the folly I have this morning been guilty of."

"If I stay at home alone," he said, "I'll just keep thinking about this annoying situation, and I won't be able to eat at all, and I might end up making myself sick. So, it makes sense for me to go to my close friends and share a simple meal with them. I'll forget about the foolishness I got into this morning in the comfort of their company."

Accordingly he attends the meeting; he is discovered to be uneasy at something, and he is urged to drink and banish care.

Accordingly, he goes to the meeting; it's noticed that he's anxious about something, and he's encouraged to drink to forget his worries.

"A little wine, drank in moderation, comforts the heart of God and man:" so reasoned Memnon the philosopher, and he became intoxicated. After the repast, play is proposed.

"A little wine, drunk in moderation, comforts the heart of God and man:" so thought Memnon the philosopher, and he got drunk. After the meal, someone suggested playing a game.

"A little play, with one's intimate friends, is a harmless pastime." He plays and loses all in his purse, and four times as much on his word. A dispute arises on some circumstance in the game, and the disputants grow warm. One of his intimate friends throws a dice-box at his head, and strikes out one of his eyes. The philosopher Memnon is carried home drunk and penniless, with the loss of an eye.

"A little fun with your close friends is a harmless way to pass the time." He plays and loses everything in his wallet, and even more on his word. A disagreement comes up over something related to the game, and the players get heated. One of his friends throws a dice box at his head, and knocks out one of his eyes. The philosopher Memnon is taken home drunk and broke, missing an eye.

He sleeps out his debauch, and, when his head becomes clear, he sends his servant to the Receiver General of the finances of Nineveh, to draw a little money to pay his debt of honor to his intimate friends. The servant returns and informs him, that the Receiver General had that morning been declared a fraudulent bankrupt, and that by this means an hundred families are reduced to poverty and despair. Memnon, almost beside himself, puts a plaster on his eye and a petition in his pocket, and goes to court to solicit justice from the king against the bankrupt. In the saloon he meets a number of ladies, all in the highest spirits, and sailing along with hoops four-and-twenty feet in circumference. One of them, slightly acquainted with him, eyed him askance, and cried aloud: "Ah! what a horrid monster!"

He sleeps off his binge, and when he finally clears his head, he sends his servant to the Receiver General of the finances of Nineveh to withdraw some money to pay his debt of honor to his close friends. The servant comes back and tells him that the Receiver General had been declared a fraudulent bankrupt that morning, leaving a hundred families in poverty and despair. Memnon, nearly losing his mind, puts a bandage over his eye and a petition in his pocket, and heads to court to seek justice from the king against the bankrupt. In the courtroom, he encounters several ladies, all in high spirits, moving gracefully with skirts that are twenty-four feet wide. One of them, who knows him a little, looks at him suspiciously and exclaims, “Ah! What a terrible monster!”

Another, who was better acquainted with him, thus accosts him: "Good-morrow, Mr. Memnon, I hope you are well, Mr. Memnon. La! Mr. Memnon, how did you lose your eye?" and turning upon her heel, she tripped unconcernedly away.

Another person, who knew him better, addressed him: "Good morning, Mr. Memnon, I hope you’re doing well, Mr. Memnon. Wow! Mr. Memnon, how did you lose your eye?" and turning on her heel, she casually walked away.

Memnon hid himself in a corner, and waited for the moment when he could throw himself at the feet of the monarch. That moment at last arrived. Three times he kissed the earth, and presented his petition. His gracious majesty received him very favorably, and referred the paper to one of his satraps. The satrap takes Memnon aside, and says to him with a haughty air and satirical grin:

Memnon crouched in a corner, waiting for the right moment to throw himself at the king's feet. That moment finally came. He kissed the ground three times and presented his request. His gracious majesty welcomed him warmly and passed the document to one of his governors. The governor took Memnon aside and said to him with a smug attitude and a sarcastic smile:

"Hark ye, you fellow with the one eye, you must be a comical dog indeed, to address yourself to the king rather than to me: and still more so, to dare to demand justice against an honest bankrupt, whom I honor with my protection, and who is also a nephew to the waiting-maid of my mistress. Proceed no further in this business, my good friend, if you wish to preserve the eye you have left."

"Hey, you one-eyed guy, you must be quite the character to talk to the king instead of me: even more so, to try to get justice against a trustworthy bankrupt, whom I protect, and who also happens to be the nephew of my mistress's maid. Don't go any further with this, my good friend, if you want to keep the eye you have left."

Memnon having thus, in his closet, resolved to renounce women, the excess of the table, play, and quarreling, but especially having determined never to go to court, had been in the short space of four-and-twenty hours duped and robbed by a gentle dame, had got drunk, had gamed, had been engaged in a quarrel, had got his eye knocked out, and had been at court, where he was sneered at and insulted.

Memnon had decided in his private space to give up women, excessive partying, gambling, and fighting, but especially to avoid going to court altogether. Yet, in just twenty-four hours, he had been tricked and stolen from by a charming woman, got drunk, gambled, got into a fight, had his eye injured, and ended up at court, where he faced mockery and insults.

Petrified with astonishment, and his heart broken with grief, Memnon returns homeward in despair. As he was about to enter his house, he is repulsed by a number of officers who are carrying off his furniture for the benefit of his creditors. He falls down almost lifeless under a plane-tree. There he finds the fair dame of the morning, who was walking with her dear uncle; and both set up a loud laugh on seeing Memnon with his plaster. The night approached, and Memnon made his bed on some straw near the walls of his house. Here the ague seized him, and he fell asleep in one of the fits, when a celestial spirit appeared to him in a dream.

Petrified with shock and heartbroken with grief, Memnon headed home in despair. Just as he was about to enter his house, he was stopped by a group of officers taking away his furniture for his creditors. He collapsed almost lifeless under a plane tree. There, he saw the beautiful lady from the morning, who was out walking with her dear uncle, and they both burst into laughter at the sight of Memnon in his state. Night fell, and Memnon made a bed of straw near the walls of his house. He was struck by chills and fell asleep during one of the waves of illness, when a celestial spirit appeared to him in a dream.

It was all resplendent with light: it had six beautiful wings, but neither feet, nor head, and could be likened to nothing.

It was all shining with light: it had six beautiful wings, but no feet or head, and could be compared to nothing.

"What art thou?" said Memnon.

"What are you?" said Memnon.

"Thy good genius," replied the spirit.

"Your good spirit," replied the soul.

"Restore me then my eye, my health, my fortune, my reason," said Memnon; and he related how he had lost them all in one day. "These are adventures which never happen to us in the world we inhabit," said the spirit.

"Bring back my sight, my health, my luck, my sanity," said Memnon; and he explained how he had lost everything in just one day. "These are experiences that never occur in the world we live in," said the spirit.

"And what world do you inhabit?" said the man of affliction.

"And what world do you live in?" said the troubled man.

"My native country," replied the other, "is five hundred millions of leagues distant from the sun, in a little star near Sirius, which you see from hence."

"My home country," replied the other, "is five hundred million leagues away from the sun, in a small star near Sirius, which you can see from here."

"Charming country!" said Memnon. "And are there indeed with you no jades to dupe a poor devil, no intimate friends that win his money and knock out an eye for him, no fraudulent bankrupts, no satraps, that make a jest of you while they refuse you justice?"

"Charming country!" said Memnon. "And are there really no crooks here to fool a poor guy, no close friends who take his money and leave him high and dry, no fake bankrupts, no officials, who make fun of you while denying you justice?"

"No," said the inhabitant of the star, "we have nothing of the kind. We are never duped by women, because we have none among us; we never commit excesses at table, because we neither eat nor drink; we have no bankrupts, because with us there is neither silver nor gold; our eyes cannot be knocked out, because we have not bodies in the form of yours; and satraps never do us injustice, because in our world we are all equal."

"No," said the inhabitant of the star, "we don't have anything like that. We're never fooled by women because we have none here; we never overeat or overdrink since we neither eat nor drink; we have no bankrupts because we have no silver or gold; our eyes can't be gouged out because we don't have bodies like yours; and rulers never treat us unfairly because in our world, we are all equal."

"Pray my lord," said Memnen, "without women and without eating how do you spend your time?"

"Please, my lord," said Memnen, "without women and without food, how do you pass the time?"

"In watching, over the other worlds that are entrusted to us; and I am now come to give you consolation."

"In observing the other worlds we are responsible for, I have come to offer you comfort."

"Alas!" replied Memnon, "why did you not come yesterday to hinder me from committing so many indiscretions?"

"Unfortunately!" responded Memnon, "why didn't you come yesterday to stop me from making so many mistakes?"

"I was with your elder brother Hassan," said the celestial being. "He is still more to be pitied than you are. His most gracious majesty, the sultan of the Indies, in whose court he has the honor to serve, has caused both his eyes to be put out for some small indiscretion; and he is now in a dungeon, his hands and feet loaded with chains."

"I was with your older brother Hassan," said the celestial being. "He is even more to be pitied than you are. His most gracious majesty, the sultan of the Indies, in whose court he serves, has had both his eyes put out for a minor mistake; and he is now in a dungeon, his hands and feet weighed down with chains."

"'Tis a happy thing, truly," said Memnon, "to have a good genius in one's family, when out of two brothers, one is blind of an eye, the other blind of both; one stretched upon straw, the other in a dungeon."

" It’s really a fortunate thing," said Memnon, "to have a good spirit in the family when, out of two brothers, one is blind in one eye and the other is completely blind; one is lying on straw and the other is in a dungeon."

"Your fate will soon change," said the spirit of the star. "It is true you will never recover your eye; but, except that, you may be sufficiently happy if you never again take it into your head to be a perfect philosopher."

"Your fate is about to change," said the spirit of the star. "It's true you will never get your eye back; but aside from that, you'll be happy enough if you don't ever decide to be a perfect philosopher again."

"Is it then impossible?" said Memnon.

"Is it really impossible?" said Memnon.

"As impossible as to be perfectly wise, perfectly strong, perfectly powerful, perfectly happy. We ourselves are very far from it. There is a world indeed where all this takes place; but, in the hundred thousand millions of worlds dispersed over the regions of space, everything goes on by degrees. There is less philosophy and less enjoyment in the second than in the first, less in the third than in the second, and so forth till the last in the scale, where all are completely fools."

"As impossible as it is to be perfectly wise, perfectly strong, perfectly powerful, and perfectly happy. We're definitely not there ourselves. There is a world where all of this exists; however, in the countless worlds scattered throughout space, everything happens gradually. There’s less philosophy and less enjoyment in the second world than in the first, less in the third than in the second, and so on until we reach the last one on the scale, where everyone is completely foolish."

"I am afraid," said Memnon, "that our little terraqueous globe here is the madhouse of those hundred thousand millions of worlds, of which your lordship does me the honor to speak."

"I’m afraid," said Memnon, "that our little planet here is the madhouse of those hundred thousand million worlds that you’re so kind to mention."

"Not quite," said the spirit, "but very nearly; everything must be in its proper place."

"Not exactly," said the spirit, "but very close; everything needs to be in its right spot."

"But are those poets and philosophers wrong, then, who tell us that everything is for the best?"

"But are those poets and philosophers wrong who tell us that everything is for the best?"

"No, they are right, when we consider things in relation to the gradation of the whole universe."

"No, they’re right when we think about things in relation to the scale of the entire universe."

"Oh! I shall never believe it till I recover my eye again," said the unfortunate Memnon.

"Oh! I won't believe it until I get my eye back," said the unfortunate Memnon.

Memnon and the distressed Ninevite. Memnon and the troubled Ninevite.—"The distressed woman took him into a fragrant room, where they both sat facing each other, in a conversational posture; one eager to share her story, the other listening intently."

[1] The above engraving from Chamber's Guide to the British Museum, represents a head and bust of Memnon, "formed of a single block of fine syene granite, one piece of which is red, while the rest is blue or grayish. The sculptor, with admirable taste, used the red part for the head, and the darker part for the breast. Although the statue has all the characteristics of Egyptian sculpture—the projecting eyes, thick lips, high ears, and small chin—yet such is the beauty of the execution, so much sweetness and mildness is there in the expression of the countenance, that the effect is, on the whole, extremely pleasing. Here, in short, we have the masterpiece of some Egyptian sculptor of superior genius, whose name has perished. Here also, if we are to accept the statue as a genuine likeness, we behold the features of the great Egyptian Pharaoh, at whose name, some fourteen centuries before Christ, the Mediterranean nations trembled. Doubtless on such a subject the sculptor would do his best; striving, while transmitting the features of the hero to posterity, to produce also a countenance that would be the ideal of Egyptian beauty."—E.

[1] The engraving from Chamber's Guide to the British Museum shows a head and bust of Memnon, "made from a single piece of fine syene granite, one part of which is red, while the rest is blue or grayish. The sculptor, with great taste, used the red section for the head and the darker section for the chest. Although the statue has all the features of Egyptian sculpture—the prominent eyes, thick lips, high ears, and small chin—there's a beauty in the execution, a sweetness and gentleness in the expression of the face, making it overall very pleasing. In short, this is the masterpiece of an exceptionally talented Egyptian sculptor, whose name has been lost to time. If we accept the statue as an accurate likeness, we can see the features of the great Egyptian Pharaoh, who made Mediterranean nations tremble around fourteen centuries before Christ. Surely, regarding such a subject, the sculptor aimed for perfection; while capturing the hero’s likeness for posterity, he also sought to create a face that embodies the ideal of Egyptian beauty."—E



Des Touches and Croutef.

ANDRÉ DES TOUCHES AT SIAM.

André Des Touches was a very agreeable musician in the brilliant reign of Louis XIV. before the science of music was perfected by Rameau; and before it was corrupted by those who prefer the art of surmounting difficulties to nature and the real graces of composition.

André Des Touches was a very likable musician during the extravagant reign of Louis XIV, before Rameau perfected the science of music; and before it was tainted by those who value overcoming challenges over nature and the true elegance of composition.

Before he had recourse to these talents he had been a musketeer, and before that, in 1688, he went into Siam with the Jesuit Tachard, who gave him many marks of his affection, for the amusement he afforded on board the ship; and Des Touches spoke with admiration of father Tachard for the rest of his life.

Before he turned to these skills, he had been a musketeer, and prior to that, in 1688, he traveled to Siam with the Jesuit Tachard, who showed him a lot of kindness for the entertainment he provided on the ship; and Des Touches spoke highly of Father Tachard for the rest of his life.

At Siam he became acquainted with the first commissary of Barcalon, whose name was Croutef; and he committed to writing most of those questions which he asked of Croutef, and the answers of that Siamese. They are as follows:

At Siam, he met the first commissary of Barcalon, named Croutef. He wrote down most of the questions he asked Croutef and the answers from that Siamese. Here they are:

DES TOUCHES.—How many soldiers have you?

Touch points.—How many soldiers do you have?

CROUTEF.—Fourscore thousand, very indifferently paid.

CROUTEF.—Eighty thousand, poorly paid.

DES TOUCHES.—And how many Talapolins?

DES TOUCHES.—And how many Talapolins?

CROUTEF.—A hundred and twenty thousand, very idle and very rich. It is true that in the last war we were beaten, but our Talapolins have lived sumptuously, and built fine houses.

CROUTEF.—One hundred and twenty thousand, extremely lazy and very wealthy. It's true that we lost in the last war, but our Talapolins have lived lavishly and constructed impressive homes.

DES TOUCHES.—Nothing could have discovered more judgment. And your finances, in what state are they?

THE TOUCHES.—Nothing could have shown more insight. And how are your finances?

CROUTEF.—In a very bad state. We have, however, about ninety thousand men employed to render them prosperous, and if they have not succeeded, it has not been their fault; for there is not one of them who does not honorably seize all that he can get possession of, and strip and plunder those who cultivate the ground for the good of the state.

CROUTEF.—In a really tough situation. We have about ninety thousand people working to improve things for them, and if they haven't been successful, it's not for lack of effort; every one of them grabs whatever they can and takes from those who work the land for the benefit of everyone.

DES TOUCHES.—Bravo! And is not your jurisprudence as perfect as the rest of your administration?

Touch points.—Bravo! Isn't your legal system just as flawless as the rest of your administration?

CROUTEF.—It is much superior. We have no laws, but we have five or six thousand volumes on the laws. We are governed in general by customs; for it is known that a custom, having been established by chance, is the wisest principle that can be imagined. Besides, all customs being necessarily different in different provinces, the judges may choose at their pleasure a custom which prevailed four hundred years ago, or one which prevailed last year. It occasions a variety in our legislation, which our neighbors are forever admiring. This yields a certain fortune to practitioners. It is a resource for all pleaders who are destitute of honor, and a pastime of infinite amusement for the judges, who can with safe consciences decide causes without understanding them.

CROUTEF.—It's way better. We don’t have laws, but we have five or six thousand volumes about them. We’re mostly governed by customs, because it’s understood that a custom, established by chance, is the smartest principle you can think of. Plus, since customs vary from one province to another, judges can pick whichever custom they want—one that was common four hundred years ago or one from last year. This creates a mix in our laws that our neighbors are always amazed by. It gives a certain advantage to lawyers. It’s a resource for any lawyers lacking integrity and an endless source of entertainment for the judges, who can comfortably decide cases without really understanding them.

DES TOUCHES.—But in criminal cases—you have laws which may be depended upon.

TOUCHES.—But in criminal cases, you have reliable laws to rely on.

CROUTEF.—God forbid! We can condemn men to exile, to the galleys, to be hanged; or we can discharge them, according to our own fancy. We sometimes complain of the arbitrary power of the Barcalon; but we choose that all our decisions should be arbitrary.

CROUTEF.—God forbid! We can send people into exile, to prison, or to be executed; or we can let them go, based on our own whims. We sometimes complain about the unchecked power of the Barcalon, but we prefer that all our decisions be arbitrary.

DES TOUCHES.—That is very just. And the torture—do you put people to the torture?

DES TOUCHES.—That’s completely fair. And the torture—do you really torture people?

CROUTEF.—It is our greatest pleasure. We have found it an infallible secret to save a guilty person, who has vigorous muscles, strong and supple hamstrings, nervous arms, and firm loins; and we gaily break on the wheel all those innocent persons to whom nature has given feeble organs. It is thus we conduct ourselves with wonderful wisdom and prudence. As there are half proofs, I mean half truths, it is certain there are persons who are half innocent and half guilty. We commence, therefore, by rendering them half dead; we then go to breakfast; afterwards ensues entire death, which gives us great consideration in the world, which is one of the most valuable advantages of our offices.

CROUTEF.—It's our greatest pleasure. We've discovered an infallible way to save a guilty person who has strong muscles, flexible hamstrings, agile arms, and a solid core; meanwhile, we merrily break on the wheel all the innocent people whom nature has given weak bodies. This is how we act with remarkable wisdom and prudence. Just as there are half-truths, there are definitely people who are half innocent and half guilty. So, we start by making them half dead; then we go for breakfast; after that comes complete death, which earns us great respect in society, one of the most valuable perks of our positions.

DES TOUCHES.—It must be allowed that nothing can be more prudent and humane. Pray tell me what becomes of the property of the condemned?

TOUCH POINTS.—It has to be acknowledged that nothing is more sensible and compassionate. Can you tell me what happens to the belongings of the condemned?

CROUTEF.—The children are deprived of it. For you know that nothing can be more equitable than to punish the single fault of a parent on all his descendants.

CROUTEF.—The children are denied this. Because you know that nothing is more fair than to make all of a parent's children pay for their one mistake.

DES TOUCHES.—Yes. It is a great while since I have heard of this jurisprudence.

Touch gestures.—Yes. It's been a long time since I last heard about this area of law.

CROUTEF.—The people of Laos, our neighbors, admit neither the torture, nor arbitrary punishments, nor the different customs, nor the horrible deaths which are in use among us; but we regard them as barbarians who have no idea of good government. All Asia is agreed that we dance the best of all its inhabitants, and that, consequently, it is impossible they should come near us in jurisprudence, in commerce, in finance, and, above all, in the military art.

CROUTEF.—The people of Laos, our neighbors, don’t accept torture, arbitrary punishments, different customs, or the terrible deaths we practice; however, we see them as barbarians without any understanding of good governance. All of Asia agrees that we dance the best of all its people, and therefore, it’s impossible for them to match us in law, trade, finance, and especially in military skills.

DES TOUCHES.—Tell me, I beseech you, by what steps men arrive at the magistracy in Siam.

Touches.—Please tell me, I beg you, how men achieve the position of magistrate in Siam.

CROUTEF.—By ready money. You perceive that it may be impossible to be a good judge, if a man has not by him thirty or forty thousand pieces of silver. It is in vain a man may be perfectly acquainted with all our customs; it is to no purpose that he has pleaded five hundred causes with success—that he has a mind which is the seat of judgment, and a heart replete with justice; no man can become a magistrate without money. This, I say, is the circumstance which distinguishes us from all Asia, and particularly from the barbarous inhabitants of Laos, who have the madness to recompense all kinds of talents, and not to sell any employment.

CROUTEF.—With cash in hand. You see, it might be impossible to be a good judge if a person doesn't have thirty or forty thousand pieces of silver. It’s pointless for someone to be fully familiar with all our customs; it’s useless for them to have successfully argued five hundred cases; even if they have a mind suited for judgment and a heart full of integrity, no one can become a magistrate without money. This, I claim, is what sets us apart from all of Asia, especially from the uncivilized residents of Laos, who foolishly reward all kinds of talent and don't sell any positions.

André des Touches, who was a little off his guard, said to the Siamese, that most of the airs which he had just sung sounded discordant to him; and wished to receive information concerning real Siamese music. But Croutef, full of his subject, and enthusiastic for his country, continued in these words:

André des Touches, caught slightly off guard, said to the Siamese that most of the tunes he had just sung sounded out of tune to him; he wanted to learn about authentic Siamese music. But Croutef, passionate about his topic and proud of his country, continued with these words:

"What does it signify that our neighbors, who live beyond our mountains, have better music than we have, or better pictures; provided we have always wise and humane laws? It is in that circumstance we excel. For example:

"What does it mean that our neighbors, who live beyond our mountains, have better music or better art than we do, as long as we have wise and compassionate laws? That's where we shine. For example:"

"If a man has adroitly stolen three or four hundred thousand pieces of gold, we respect him, and we go and dine with him. But if a poor servant gets awkwardly into his possession three or four pieces of copper out of his mistress's box, we never fail of putting that servant to a public death; first, lest he should not correct himself; secondly, that he may not have it in his power to produce a great number of children for the state, one or two of whom might possibly steal a few little pieces of copper, or become great men; thirdly, because it is just to proportion the punishment to the crime, and that it would be ridiculous to give any useful employment in a prison to a person guilty of so enormous a crime.

"If a guy has skillfully stolen three or four hundred thousand gold coins, we admire him and go out to dinner with him. But if a poor servant clumsily takes three or four copper coins from his employer's box, we always make sure to publicly execute that servant; first, to prevent him from repeating the offense; second, so he can't have a lot of kids for the state, one or two of whom might end up stealing a few small coins or rising to power; and third, because it’s fair to match the punishment to the crime, and it would be absurd to give any meaningful work in prison to someone guilty of such a huge offense."

"But we are still more just, more merciful, more reasonable in the chastisements which we inflict on those who have the audacity to make use of their legs to go wherever they choose. We treat those warriors so well who sell us their lives, we give them so prodigious a salary, they have so considerable a part in our conquests, that they must be the most criminal of all men to wish to return to their parents on the recovery of their reason, because they had been enlisted in a state of intoxication. To oblige them to remain in one place, we lodge about a dozen leaden balls in their heads; after which they become infinitely useful to their country.

"But we are still more just, more merciful, and more reasonable in the punishments we impose on those who have the nerve to use their legs to go wherever they want. We treat those soldiers who sell us their lives so well; we offer them such an enormous salary and they play such a significant role in our victories, that they must be the most reprehensible people to want to go back to their families once they regain their senses, simply because they had signed up while intoxicated. To force them to stay in one place, we put about a dozen lead bullets in their heads; after that, they become incredibly useful to their country."

"I will not speak of a great number of excellent institutions, which do not go so far as to shed the blood of men, but which render life so pleasant and agreeable that it is impossible the guilty should avoid becoming virtuous. If a farmer has not been able to pay promptly a tax which exceeds his ability, we sell the pot in which he dresses his food; we sell his bed, in order that, being relieved of all his superfluities, he may be in a better condition to cultivate the earth."

"I won't talk about all the excellent institutions that don't resort to violence but make life so enjoyable that it's hard for wrongdoers not to become better people. If a farmer can't pay a tax that's beyond his means, we sell the pot he uses to cook his food; we sell his bed so that, freed from all his excess belongings, he can better focus on farming."

DES TOUCHES.—That is extremely harmonious!

DES TOUCHES.—That’s really harmonious!

CROUTEF.—To comprehend our profound wisdom, you must know that our fundamental principle is to acknowledge in many places as our sovereign, a shaven-headed foreigner who lives at the distance of nine hundred miles from us. When we assign some of our best territories to any of our Talapolins, which it is very prudent in us to do, that Siamese Talapolin must pay the revenue of his first year to that shaven-headed Tartar, without which it is clear our lands would be unfruitful.

CROUTEF.—To understand our deep knowledge, you need to know that our main principle is to recognize, in many places, a clean-shaven foreigner who lives nine hundred miles away as our ruler. When we give some of our best lands to one of our Talapolins, which is a smart move on our part, that Siamese Talapolin has to pay the first year's taxes to that clean-shaven Tartar; without this, it’s obvious our lands would be barren.

But the time, the happy time, is no more, when that tonsured priest induced one half of the nation to cut the throats of the other half, in order to decide whether Sammonocodom had played at leap-frog or at some other game; whether he had been disguised in an elephant or in a cow; if he had slept three hundred and ninety days on the right side, or on the left. Those grand questions, which so essentially affect morality, agitated all minds; they shook the world; blood flowed plentifully for it; women were massacred on the bodies of their husbands; they dashed out the brains of their little infants on the stones, with a devotion, with a grace, with a contrition truly angelic. Woe to us! degenerate offspring of pious ancestors, who never offer such holy sacrifices! But, heaven be praised, there are yet among us at least a few good souls, who would imitate them if they were permitted.

But that happy time is gone when that priest made half the country turn against the other half to settle whether Sammonocodom had played leapfrog or some other game; whether he had dressed up as an elephant or a cow; if he had slept for three hundred and ninety days on his right side or his left. Those big questions, which really impact morality, stirred everyone’s thoughts; they shook the world; blood was shed everywhere because of it; women were killed alongside their husbands; they smashed the brains of their little babies against the stones, with a devotion, a grace, and a remorse that was truly angelic. Woe to us! degenerate descendants of pious ancestors, who never make such holy sacrifices! But, thank goodness, there are still a few good souls among us who would follow their example if they could.

DES TOUCHES.—Tell me, I beseech you, sir, if at Siam you divide the tone major into two commas, or into two semi-commas; and if the progress of the fundamental sounds are made by one, three, and nine?

THE TOUCHES.—Please tell me, I beg you, sir, if in Siam you divide the major scale into two commas or two semi-commas, and if the progression of the fundamental sounds is done in one, three, and nine?

CROUTEF. By Sammonocodom, you are laughing at me. You observe no bounds. You have interrogated me on the form of our government, and you speak to me of music!

CROUTEF. By Sammonocodom, you're making fun of me. You show no limits. You've questioned me about how our government works, and now you're talking to me about music!

DES TOUCHES.—-Music is everything. It was at the foundation of all the politics of the Greeks. But I beg your pardon; you have not a good ear; and we will return to our subject. You said, that in order to produce a perfect harmony—

TOUCHES.—-Music is everything. It was the foundation of all the politics of the Greeks. But excuse me; you don’t have a good ear; and we will get back to our topic. You mentioned that to create a perfect harmony—

CROUTEF.—I was telling you, that formerly the tonsured Tartar pretended to dispose of all the kingdoms of Asia; which occasioned something very different from perfect harmony. But a very considerable benefit resulted from it; for people were then more devout toward Sammonocodom and his elephant than they are now; for, at the present time, all the world pretends to common sense, with an indiscretion truly pitiable. However, all things go on; people divert themselves, they dance, they play, they dine, they sup, they make love; this makes every man shudder who entertains good intentions.

CROUTEF.—I was saying that in the past, the tonsured Tartar claimed to control all the kingdoms of Asia, which led to something quite different from perfect harmony. However, there was a significant benefit from it; people were more devoted to Sammonocodom and his elephant than they are now. Nowadays, everyone pretends to be sensible, with an indiscretion that’s truly unfortunate. Still, life goes on; people enjoy themselves, dance, play, eat dinner, have supper, and fall in love; this makes anyone with good intentions shudder.

DES TOUCHES.—And what would you have more? You only want good music. If you had good music, you might call your nation the happiest in the world.

MIND TOUCHES.—And what else do you want? You just want good music. If you had good music, you could call your nation the happiest in the world.


THE BLIND PENSIONERS AT QUINZE VINGT.

A SHORT DIGRESSION.—When the hospital of the Quinze Vingt was first founded, the pensioners were all equal, and their little affairs were concluded upon by a majority of votes. They distinguished perfectly by the touch between copper and silver coin; they never mistook the wine of Brie for that of Burgundy. Their sense of smelling was finer than that of their neighbors who had the use of two eyes. They reasoned very well on the four senses; that is, they knew everything they were permitted to know, and they lived as peaceably and as happily as blind people could be supposed to do. But unfortunately one of their professors pretended to have clear ideas in respect to the sense of seeing, he drew attention; he intrigued; he formed enthusiasts; and at last he was acknowledged chief of the community. He pretended to be a judge of colors, and everything was lost.

A brief aside.—When the Quinze Vingt hospital was first established, all the residents were equal, and their small matters were decided by a majority vote. They could easily tell the difference between copper and silver coins by touch; they never confused Brie wine with Burgundy. Their sense of smell was sharper than that of their neighbors who had full sight. They reasoned quite well about the four senses; that is, they understood everything they were allowed to know, and they lived as peacefully and happily as blind people could be expected to. But unfortunately, one of their instructors claimed to have clear ideas about the sense of sight, he attracted attention; he intrigued others; he created enthusiasts; and eventually, he was recognized as the leader of the group. He claimed to be able to judge colors, and everything was ruined.

This dictator of the Quinze Vingt chose at first a little council, by the assistance of which he got possession of all the alms. On this account, no person had the resolution to oppose him. He decreed, that all the inhabitants of the Quinze Vingt were clothed in white. The blind pensioners believed him; and nothing was to be heard but their talk of white garments, though, in fact, they possessed not one of that color. All their acquaintance laughed at them. They made their complaints to the dictator, who received them very ill; he rebuked them as innovators, freethinkers, rebels, who had suffered themselves to be seduced by the errors of those who had eyes, and who presumed to doubt that their chief was infallible. This contention gave rise to two parties.

This dictator of the Quinze Vingt initially set up a small council that helped him take control of all the donations. Because of this, no one dared to challenge him. He declared that all the people of Quinze Vingt would wear white clothing. The blind beneficiaries believed him, and all anyone talked about were white garments, even though they didn’t actually own any. Their friends laughed at them. They brought their complaints to the dictator, who reacted very negatively; he scolded them as troublemakers, free thinkers, and rebels, claiming they had been misled by those with sight and who dared to doubt that their leader was infallible. This conflict led to two factions.

To appease the tumult, the dictator issued a decree, importing that all their vestments were red. There was not one vestment of that color in the Quinze Vingt. The poor men were laughed at more than ever. Complaints were again made by the community. The dictator rushed furiously in; and the other blind men were as much enraged. They fought a long time; and peace was not restored until the members of the Quinze Vingt were permitted to suspend their judgments in regard to the color of their dress.

To calm the chaos, the dictator announced that everyone had to wear red clothing. There wasn't a single red outfit in the Quinze Vingt. The poor men were laughed at more than ever. The community complained again. The dictator stormed in angrily, and the other blind men were just as furious. They fought for a long time, and peace wasn't restored until the members of the Quinze Vingt were allowed to ignore the requirements about the color of their clothing.

A deaf man, reading this little history, allowed that these people, being blind, were to blame in pretending to judge of colors; but he remained steady to his own opinion, that those persons who were deaf were the only proper judges of music.

A deaf man reading this brief history acknowledged that these people, being blind, were wrong for pretending to judge colors. However, he stuck to his belief that only those who were deaf were the true judges of music.


Boodh resting "upon the face of the waters," supported by serpents. Boodh resting "on the surface of the waters," held up by serpents.[1]

BABABEC.

When I was in the city of Benarez, on the borders of the Ganges, the country of the ancient Brahmins, I endeavored to instruct myself in their religion and manners. I understood the Indian language tolerably well. I heard a great deal, and remarked everything. I lodged at the house of my correspondent Omri, who was the most worthy man I ever knew. He was of the religion of the Brahmins: I have the honor to be a Mussulman. We never exchanged one word higher than another about Mahomet or Brahma. We performed our ablutions each on his own side; we drank of the same sherbet, and we ate of the same rice, as if we had been two brothers.

When I was in the city of Benarez, near the Ganges, the land of the ancient Brahmins, I tried to learn about their religion and customs. I understood the Indian language pretty well. I listened a lot and noticed everything. I stayed at the home of my friend Omri, who was the most admirable person I ever met. He followed the Brahmin faith, while I proudly practiced Islam. We never argued about Muhammad or Brahma. We each performed our ablutions separately; we shared the same sherbet and ate the same rice, as if we were brothers.

One day we went together to the pagoda of Gavani. There we saw several bands of Fakirs. Some of whom were Janguis, that is to say, contemplative Fakirs; and others were disciples of the ancient Gymnosophists, who led an active life. They all have a learned language peculiar to themselves; it is that of the most ancient Brahmins; and they have a book written in this language, which they call the Shasta. It is, beyond all contradiction, the most ancient book in all Asia, not excepting the Zend.

One day, we went together to the Gavani pagoda. There, we saw several groups of Fakirs. Some were Janguis, which means contemplative Fakirs, while others were disciples of the ancient Gymnosophists who lived an active life. They all have their own learned language, which is that of the oldest Brahmins, and they possess a book written in this language called the Shasta. It is undoubtedly the oldest book in all of Asia, even older than the Zend.

I happened by chance to cross in front of a Fakir, who was reading in this book.

I happened to walk past a Fakir who was reading in this book.

"Ah! wretched infidel!" cried he, "thou hast made me lose a number of vowels that I was counting, which will cause my soul to pass into the body of a hare instead of that of a parrot, with which I had before the greatest reason to flatter myself."

"Ah! miserable unbeliever!" he shouted, "you made me lose count of the vowels I was tallying, which will cause my soul to transition into the body of a hare instead of a parrot, with which I had every reason to be so proud."

I gave him a rupee to comfort him for the accident. In going a few paces farther, I had the misfortune to sneeze. The noise I made roused a Fakir, who was in a trance.

I gave him a rupee to make him feel better about the accident. After walking a few more steps, I unfortunately sneezed. The sound I made woke up a Fakir who was in a trance.

"Heavens!" cried he, "what a dreadful noise. Where am I? I can no longer see the tip of my nose,—the heavenly light has disappeared."

"Heavens!" he exclaimed, "what a terrible noise. Where am I? I can't even see the tip of my nose—the light has vanished."

"If I am the cause," said I, "of your not seeing farther than the length of your nose, here is a rupee to repair the great injury I have done you. Squint again, my friend, and resume the heavenly light."

"If I'm the reason," I said, "you can't see beyond the tip of your nose, here’s a rupee to make up for the harm I've caused you. Take another look, my friend, and get back to the divine light."

Having thus brought myself off discreetly enough, I passed over to the side of the Gymnosophists, several of whom brought me a parcel of mighty pretty nails to drive into my arms and thighs, in honor of Brahma. I bought their nails, and made use of them to fasten down my boxes. Others were dancing upon their hands, others cut capers on the slack rope, and others went always upon one foot. There were some who dragged a heavy chain about with them, and others carried a packsaddle; some had their heads always in a bushel—the best people in the world to live with. My friend Omri took me to the cell of one of the most famous of these. His name was Bababec: he was as naked as he was born, and had a great chain about his neck, that weighed upwards of sixty pounds. He sat on a wooden chair, very neatly decorated with little points of nails that penetrated into his flesh; and you would have thought he had been sitting on a velvet cushion. Numbers of women flocked to him to consult him. He was the oracle of all the families in the neighborhood; and was, truly speaking, in great reputation. I was witness to a long conversation that Omri had with him.

Having managed to slip away discreetly, I moved over to the side of the Gymnosophists. Several of them brought me a bunch of really nice nails to drive into my arms and thighs in honor of Brahma. I bought their nails and used them to secure my boxes. Some were dancing on their hands, others were doing tricks on a slack wire, and some were standing on one foot the whole time. There were a few who dragged heavy chains with them, while others carried a packsaddle; some had their heads constantly covered. They were truly the most interesting people to be around. My friend Omri took me to see one of the most famous of them. His name was Bababec; he was completely naked and had a heavy chain around his neck that weighed over sixty pounds. He sat on a wooden chair that was nicely decorated with little points of nails digging into his skin, and you’d think he was sitting on a velvet cushion. A crowd of women gathered around him to seek his advice. He was the go-to oracle for all the families in the area and was quite well-respected. I watched a long conversation that Omri had with him.

[1] Boodhism, is described in Webster's Dictionary as "a system of religion in Eastern Asia, embraced by more than one third of the human race. It teaches that, at distant intervals, a Boodh, or deity, appears, to restore the world from a state of ignorance and decay, and then sinks into a state of entire non-existence, or rather, perhaps, of bare existence without attributes, action, or consciousness. This state, called Nirvana, or Nicban, is regarded as the ultimate supreme good, and the highest reward of virtue among men. Four Boodhs have thus appeared in the world, and passed into Nirvana, the last of whom, Gaudama, became incarnate about 500 years before Christ, from his death, in 543 B.C., many thousand years will elapse before the appearance of another; so that the system, in the mean time, is practically one of pure atheism."

[1] Buddhism is described in Webster's Dictionary as "a system of religion in Eastern Asia, embraced by more than one third of the human race. It teaches that, at distant intervals, a Buddha, or deity, appears to restore the world from a state of ignorance and decay, and then fades into a state of complete non-existence, or rather, perhaps, of mere existence without attributes, action, or consciousness. This state, called Nirvana or Nicban, is seen as the ultimate supreme good and the highest reward for virtue among people. Four Buddhas have appeared in the world and transitioned into Nirvana, the last of whom, Gautama, became incarnate around 500 years before Christ; from his death in 543 B.C., thousands of years will pass before another appears, so that the system, in the meantime, is practically one of pure atheism."

The serpent has ever been a significant emblem in religion and mythology. Being "the most subtle beast of the field," it was naturally accepted as the emblem of wisdom. With its tail in its mouth it formed a circle, which was regarded by the ancients as the emblem of eternity. Moses set up a brazen serpent on a cross in the wilderness as an emblem of healing. Æsculapius, the god of medicine, is seen on ancient statues with a serpent twining around a staff by his side, symbolizing health, prudence and foresight. Hygiea, the goddess of health, is represented in works of art as a virgin dressed in a long robe and feeding a serpent from a cup. Mercury is always shown holding in his right hand a wand with two twined serpents. The nine coiled serpents in the above engraving, correspond with the nine muses in the Grecian mythology. The cobra, whose poison is death, is an emblem of the destroying power, and destruction, or rather change, symbolizes new formation, renovation or creation. Thus eternal formation, proceeds from eternal destruction. The serpent also figures in a beautiful allegory concerning the introduction of knowledge among mankind, i.e., "the knowledge of good and evil."—E.

The serpent has always been an important symbol in religion and mythology. Being "the most cunning creature of the field," it was naturally associated with wisdom. With its tail in its mouth, it formed a circle, which the ancients viewed as a symbol of eternity. Moses erected a bronze serpent on a cross in the wilderness as a symbol of healing. Æsculapius, the god of medicine, is depicted in ancient statues with a serpent wrapped around a staff beside him, representing health, wisdom, and foresight. Hygiea, the goddess of health, is shown in art as a virgin in a long robe, feeding a serpent from a cup. Mercury is consistently illustrated holding a wand with two entwined serpents in his right hand. The nine coiled serpents in the engraving correspond to the nine muses in Grecian mythology. The cobra, whose venom is deadly, symbolizes destructive power, and destruction—or rather transformation—represents new formation, renewal, or creation. Thus, eternal creation comes from eternal destruction. The serpent also appears in a beautiful allegory regarding the introduction of knowledge to humanity, namely, "the knowledge of good and evil."—E.

THE FAKIR. The Guru.
RELIGIOUS ZEAL.

The most earnest and zealous advocates of modern Christianity are, undoubtedly, to be found in the ranks of that grotesque organization known as the "Salvation Army"; but the wildest efforts of these misguided propagandists fall far short of the intense religious fervor displayed by the zealous followers of Brahma.

The most passionate and dedicated supporters of modern Christianity are undeniably found within the unusual group known as the "Salvation Army"; however, the extreme efforts of these misguided advocates pale in comparison to the intense religious fervor demonstrated by the devoted followers of Brahma.

A contributor to Cassell's Illustrated Travels describes a religious festival which he witnessed a few years ago at Hurdwar on the Ganges, while on an elephant shooting expedition in the Dehra Dhoon, Northern India, which vividly illustrates the folly and fanaticism of these degraded religious devotees, and which is only second in repulsiveness to the horrible ceremonies of Juggernaut.

A writer for Cassell's Illustrated Travels shares a story about a religious festival he witnessed a few years ago in Hurdwar along the Ganges while on an elephant hunting trip in Dehra Dhoon, Northern India. His vivid description highlights the foolishness and fanaticism of these misguided religious followers, which is only slightly less disturbing than the horrific rituals of Juggernaut.

"There is," says this writer, "a religious festival every year at Hurdwar, but every sixth year the ceremonies are more holy and the crowd of pilgrims larger. The Koom Mela, a religious feast of great holiness in native eyes, occurs every eleven years, and the pilgrims on such occasions arrive from every part of India. The crowd usually numbers over two millions. But it is when the festivals occurring at intervals of six years and at intervals of eleven years happen to meet in the same year that the crowd is the largest, the importance of the fair greatest, and the concourse of fanatic fakirs and holy Brahmins, from every hole and corner of India, the most striking and remarkable. Merchants arrive from the most distant countries; not from different parts of India only, but from Persia, Thibet, China, Afghanistan, and even from Russia. It was one of these festivals and giant fairs that we had the good fortune to see.

"There is," states this writer, "an annual religious festival in Hurdwar, but every sixth year, the ceremonies become more sacred and the number of pilgrims grows. The Koom Mela, a highly significant religious celebration for locals, happens every eleven years, attracting pilgrims from across India. The crowd usually exceeds two million people. However, when the festivals that take place every six years and every eleven years coincide in the same year, the crowd reaches its largest size, the importance of the fair peaks, and the gathering of enthusiastic fakirs and holy Brahmins from all over India becomes truly impressive. Merchants arrive from distant lands, not only from various parts of India but also from Persia, Tibet, China, Afghanistan, and even Russia. It was during one of these massive festivals and fairs that we were fortunate enough to witness."

"As the day of the great festival approaches, the fakirs—who by the way are always stark naked, and generally as disgusting specimens of humanity as it is possible to conceive—and the Brahmins, excite their hearers by increasingly-fervent speeches, by self-applied tortures, frightful contortions, and wild dances and gestures, to which the crowd loudly responds by shouts and wild yells. Early on the morning of the day which to their mind is more holy than any other in their whole lifetime, the assembled people to the number of two or even three millions, repair to the ghauts and patiently wait for the signal, to begin their work of regeneration and salvation. This desirable end is attained by each and every individual who within a certain time, during the tinkling of a well-known bell, precipitates himself into the river, washes himself thoroughly, and repeats a short prayer. This done, the pilgrim must leave the river again, and if he has not entered it until the bell began to tinkle, and has succeeded in going through his performance and left the water again before the sound of the bell has ceased, his sins from his birth are remitted and washed away, and his happy future after death is assured, unless he commits some specifically named and very enormous sins. The other pilgrims, who by reason of the great crowd cannot reach the water in time to go through the whole performance as required by the Brahmins, receive blessings commensurate with the length of their stay in the water while the bell was ringing. Even the unfortunate pilgrims who altogether fail to enter the water at the right moment, are consoled by the partial removal of their load of wickedness; but the blessings which accompany a full performance of what the Brahmins require, are so superior to the favors following an incomplete or tardy immersion, that it is not strange extraordinary efforts are made to enter the water at the first sound of the bells and gongs.

"As the day of the big festival approaches, the fakirs—who, by the way, are always completely naked and generally as unpleasant as one can imagine—and the Brahmins energize their audience with increasingly passionate speeches, self-inflicted tortures, terrifying contortions, and frenzied dances, which elicit loud cheers and wild shouts from the crowd. Early in the morning of what they consider the holiest day of their lives, around two or even three million people gather by the riverbank and patiently await the signal to begin their process of renewal and salvation. Each individual achieves this goal by entering the river at a specific time during the ringing of a well-known bell, cleansing themselves thoroughly, and offering a brief prayer. Once completed, the pilgrim must exit the river, and if they enter after the bell starts ringing but manage to finish their ritual and leave the water before it stops ringing, their sins from birth are forgiven and washed away, promising them a happy afterlife—unless they commit certain named serious sins. The other pilgrims, who due to the large crowd cannot reach the water in time to fulfill the entire ritual as outlined by the Brahmins, receive blessings based on how long they were in the water while the bell rang. Even those unfortunate pilgrims who completely miss their chance to enter the water at the right time find some comfort in the partial easing of their wrongdoing; however, the blessings from fully completing the Brahmins' requirements far exceed those received from a partial or late immersion, which explains why people go to great lengths to jump into the water at the first sound of the bells and gongs."

"The crowd was made up of men and women of half-a-hundred tribes of nations, in every variety of dress and partial nakedness. Many men wore their loincloths only; the women's hair was loose and flying to the wind; all were newly and hideously painted; many were intoxicated, not only with opium and spirits, but with religious frenzy and impatient waiting. As the exciting moment approached shouts rent the air; the priests harangued louder and louder; the fakirs grew wilder and more incoherent; then gradually the great noise subsided, when suddenly a single bell, immediately followed by a hundred more, broke the silence, and with one accord, shouting like madmen, the people rushed forward and the foremost ranks threw themselves into the water. Then there arose a mighty shout, the many gongs joined in, and the bells redoubled their efforts. But the confusion, the crushing, the struggling for very life, the surging of the mad masses at the water's edge, defy all description.

The crowd consisted of men and women from numerous tribes and nations, dressed in various styles, with some partially nude. Many men wore only loincloths; the women had their hair loose and whipping in the wind; everyone was freshly and grotesquely painted. A lot were intoxicated, not just from opium and alcohol, but from religious zeal and restless anticipation. As the exciting moment approached, shouts filled the air; the priests became increasingly louder; the fakirs grew wilder and more chaotic. Then, as the noise began to fade, a single bell rang out, quickly followed by a hundred more, and with one united voice, shouting like crazed individuals, the crowd surged forward, with those in front throwing themselves into the water. A powerful cheer erupted, the gongs chimed in, and the bells intensified their ringing. But the chaos, the crush of the crowd, the struggle for survival, and the frantic throng at the water's edge were beyond description.

"As the first rows of men and women reached the water they were upset and overturned by the people in their rear, who passed over them into still deeper water, and in their turn suffered the same fate at the bands of the on-rushing crowd behind them, until deep water was reached.... The shouts of excitement were changed to shrieks and passionate cries for help; the men under water struggled with those above them: weak women were carried out by the stream or trampled on; men pulled each other down, and in their mad fear exerted their utmost strength without object or purpose. Then the survivors, trying to escape from the water, met the yet dry crowd still charging down to death, and this increased the dire confusion. It was a horrid sight, and one I was quite unprepared for, notwithstanding all I had heard before."—E.

"As the first rows of men and women reached the water, they were pushed and knocked over by the rushing crowds behind them, who surged into deeper water, only to face the same fate as more people followed from behind, until they were submerged. The shouts of excitement morphed into screams and frantic cries for help; the men underwater struggled against those above them: weak women were swept away by the current or trampled; men dragged each other down, and in their panic, they expended all their strength without aim. Then, the survivors, trying to escape the water, collided with the still-dry crowd rushing toward death, further complicating the chaos. It was a horrifying scene, one I was completely unprepared for, despite everything I had heard before."


"Do you think, father," said my friend, "that after having gone through seven metempsichoses, I may at length arrive at the habitation of Brahma?"

"Do you think, Dad," my friend said, "that after going through seven reincarnations, I might finally reach the home of Brahma?"

"That is as it may happen," said the Fakir. "What sort of life do you lead?"

"That may be the case," said the Fakir. "What kind of life do you live?"

"I endeavor," answered Omri, "to be a good subject, a good husband, a good father, and a good friend. I lend money without interest to the rich who want it, and I give it to the poor: I always strive to preserve peace among my neighbors."

"I try," Omri replied, "to be a good citizen, a good husband, a good father, and a good friend. I lend money without interest to the wealthy who need it, and I give to the less fortunate: I always aim to keep the peace with my neighbors."

"But have you ever run nails into your flesh?" demanded the Brahmin.

"But have you ever driven nails into your skin?" the Brahmin asked.

"Never, reverend father."

"Never, Father."

"I am sorry for it," replied the father; "very sorry for it, indeed. It is a thousand pities; but you will certainly not reach above the nineteenth heaven."

"I’m really sorry about it," said the father; "truly sorry, indeed. It’s such a shame; but you definitely won’t make it past the nineteenth heaven."

"No higher!" said Omri. "In truth, I am very well contented with my lot. What is it to me whether I go into the nineteenth or the twentieth, provided I do my duty in my pilgrimage, and am well received at the end of my journey? Is it not as much as one can desire, to live with a fair character in this world, and be happy with Brahma in the next? And pray what heaven do you think of going to, good master Bababec, with your chain?"

"No higher!" said Omri. "Honestly, I'm pretty satisfied with my life. What does it matter to me if I go into the nineteenth or the twentieth, as long as I do my duty on my journey and am welcomed at the end? Isn't it enough to live with a good reputation in this world and find happiness with Brahma in the next? And may I ask, what heaven are you thinking of going to, good master Bababec, with your chain?"

"Into the thirty-fifth," said Bababec.

"Into the thirty-fifth," said Bababec.

"I admire your modesty," replied Omri, "to pretend to be better lodged than me. This is surely the result of an excessive ambition. How can you, who condemn others that covet honors in this world, arrogate such distinguished ones to yourself in the next? What right have you to be better treated than me? Know that I bestow more alms to the poor in ten days, than the nails you run into your flesh cost for ten years? What is it to Brahma that you pass the whole day stark naked with a chain about your neck? This is doing a notable service to your country, doubtless! I have a thousand times more esteem for the man who sows pulse or plants trees, than for all your tribe, who look at the tips of their noses, or carry packsaddles, to show their magnanimity."

"I admire your modesty," replied Omri, "pretending to be better off than I am. This must come from a serious ambition. How can you, who criticize others for wanting recognition in this world, claim such high status for yourself in the next? What right do you have to be treated better than me? Just so you know, I give more to the poor in ten days than all the pain you inflict on yourself over ten years is worth. What does it matter to Brahma that you spend all day completely naked with a chain around your neck? Is this really a grand service to your country? I have way more respect for someone who plants seeds or trees than for all your kind, who only stare at the tips of their noses or carry heavy packs to show off their supposed greatness."

Having finished this speech, Omri softened his voice, embraced the Brahmin, and, with an endearing sweetness, besought him to throw aside his nails and his chain, to go home with him, and live with decency and comfort.

Having finished his speech, Omri softened his voice, hugged the Brahmin, and, with a warm charm, urged him to take off his nails and chain, to come home with him, and live in comfort and dignity.

The Fakir was persuaded, he was washed clean, rubbed with essences and perfumes, and clad in a decent habit; he lived a fortnight in this manner, behaved with prudence and wisdom, and acknowledged that he was a thousand times happier than before; but he lost his credit among the people, the women no longer crowded to consult him; he therefore quitted the house of the friendly Omri, and returned to his nails and his chain, to regain his reputation.

The Fakir was convinced, he was cleaned up, scented with oils and perfumes, and dressed in respectable clothes; he lived this way for two weeks, acted wisely and sensibly, and admitted that he was a thousand times happier than before; however, he lost his status among the people, and the women no longer came to consult him; so he left the home of his kind friend Omri and returned to his nails and his chain, to regain his reputation.

Sphinx.

The study of nature.

THE STUDY OF NATURE.


I.

INTRO.

There can be no doubt that everything in the world is governed by fatality. My own life is a convincing proof of this doctrine. An English lord, with whom I was a great favorite, had promised me that I should have the first living that fell to his gift. An old incumbent of eighty happened to die, and I immediately traveled post to London to remind the earl of his promise. I was honored with an immediate interview, and was received with the greatest kindness. I informed his lordship of the death of the rector, and of the hope I cherished relative to the disposal of the vacant living. He replied that I really looked very ill. I answered that, thanks to God, my greatest affliction was poverty. I am sorry for you, said his lordship, and he politely dismissed me with a letter of introduction to a Mr. Sidrac, who dwelt in the vicinity of Guildhall. I ran as fast as I could to this gentleman's house, not doubting but that he would immediately install me in the wished for living. I delivered the earl's letter, and Mr. Sidrac, who had the honor to be my lord's surgeon, asked me to sit down, and, producing a case of surgical instruments, began to assure me that he would perform an operation which he trusted would very soon relieve me.

There’s no doubt that everything in the world is controlled by fate. My own life is strong evidence of this idea. An English lord, who was very fond of me, promised that I would get the first position that became available through his influence. An old rector, who was eighty, passed away, and I quickly traveled to London to remind the earl of his promise. I was granted an immediate meeting and received with the utmost kindness. I informed him about the rector's death and shared my hope about getting the vacant position. He remarked that I really looked unwell. I replied that, thankfully, my biggest problem was poverty. “I feel for you,” he said, and he kindly dismissed me with a letter of introduction to a Mr. Sidrac, who lived near Guildhall. I hurried to this gentleman's house, fully expecting that he would immediately appoint me to the desired position. I handed over the earl's letter, and Mr. Sidrac, who was my lord's surgeon, asked me to take a seat and, taking out a set of surgical instruments, began to assure me that he would perform a procedure that he hoped would help me very soon.

You must know, that his lordship had understood that I was suffering from some dreadful complaint, and that he generously intended to have me cured at his own expense. The earl had the misfortune to be as deaf as a post, a fact with which I, alas! had not been previously acquainted.

You should know that his lordship realized I was dealing with some terrible illness, and he kindly planned to pay for my treatment himself. Unfortunately, the earl was as deaf as a post—a fact I had not been aware of before.

During the time which I lost in defending myself against the attacks of Mr. Sidrac, who insisted positively upon curing me, whether I would or no, one out of the fifty candidates who were all on the lookout, came to town, flew to my lord, begged the vacant living—and obtained it.

During the time I spent defending myself against Mr. Sidrac's relentless attempts to "cure" me, whether I wanted it or not, one of the fifty candidates who were all on the lookout came to town, rushed to my lord, requested the open position—and got it.

I was deeply in love with an interesting girl, a Miss Fidler, who had promised to marry me upon condition of my being made rector. My fortunate rival not only got the living, but also my mistress into the bargain!

I was totally in love with this intriguing girl, Miss Fidler, who promised to marry me if I became rector. My lucky rival not only got the position but also took my girlfriend in the deal!

My patron, upon being told of his mistake, promised to make me ample amends, but alas! he died two days afterwards.

My patron, when he learned about his mistake, promised to make it up to me, but unfortunately, he passed away two days later.

Mr. Sidrac demonstrated to me that, according to his organic structure, my good patron could not have lived one hour longer. He also clearly proved that the earl's deafness proceeded entirely from the extreme dryness of the drums of his ears, and kindly offered, by an application of spirits of wine, to harden both of my ears to such a degree that I should, in one month only, become as deaf as any peer of the realm.

Mr. Sidrac showed me that, based on his findings, my kind patron couldn't have lived even an hour longer. He also clearly demonstrated that the earl's deafness was entirely due to the extreme dryness of his eardrums, and kindly offered to use spirits of wine to harden my ears so much that in just one month, I would be as deaf as any member of the nobility.

I discovered Mr. Sidrac to be a man of profound knowledge. He inspired me with a taste for the study of nature, and I could not but be sensible of the valuable acquisition I had made in acquiring the friendship of a man who was capable of relieving me, should I need his services. Following his advice, I applied myself closely to the study of nature, to console myself for the loss of the rectory and of my enchanting Miss Fidler.

I found Mr. Sidrac to be a man with deep knowledge. He sparked my interest in studying nature, and I couldn’t help but appreciate the valuable connection I had made by befriending someone who could help me if I ever needed it. Taking his advice, I devoted myself to studying nature to cope with the loss of my position and my charming Miss Fidler.


II.

Studying nature.

After making many profound observations upon nature, (having employed in the research, my five senses, my spectacles, and a very large telescope,) I said one day to Mr. Sidrac, unless I am much deceived, philosophy laughs at us. I cannot discover any trace of what the world calls nature; on the contrary, everything seems to me to be the result of art. By art the planets are made to revolve around the sun, while the sun revolves on its own axis. I am convinced that some genius has arranged things in such a manner, that the square of the revolutions of the planets is always in proportion to the cubic root from their distance to their centre, and one had need be a magician to find out how this is accomplished. The tides of the sea are the result of art no less profound and no less difficult to explain.

After making many deep observations about nature (using my five senses, my glasses, and a very large telescope), I said one day to Mr. Sidrac, unless I'm mistaken, philosophy is mocking us. I can’t find any trace of what the world calls nature; on the contrary, everything seems to be the result of art. The planets are made to orbit around the sun, while the sun spins on its own axis. I'm convinced that some genius has arranged it so that the square of the planets’ revolutions always relates to the cubic root of their distance to their center, and you’d need to be a magician to figure out how this works. The tides of the sea are also the result of art that is just as profound and just as hard to explain.

All animals, vegetables and minerals are arranged with due regard to weight and measure, number and motion. All is performed by springs, levers, pullies, hydraulic machines, and chemical combinations, from the insignificant flea to the being called man, from the grass of the field to the far spreading oak, from a grain of sand to a cloud in the firmament of heaven. Assuredly, everything is governed by art, and the word nature is but a chimera.

All animals, plants, and minerals are organized with respect to weight and measure, quantity and movement. Everything operates through springs, levers, pulleys, hydraulic machines, and chemical reactions, from the tiny flea to humans, from the grass in the field to the vast oak tree, from a grain of sand to a cloud in the sky. Clearly, everything is controlled by art, and the word nature is merely an illusion.

What you say, answered Mr. Sidrac, has been said many years ago, and so much the better, for the probability is greater that your remark is true. I am always astonished when I reflect, that a grain of wheat cast into the earth will produce in a short time above a handful of the same corn. Stop, said I, foolishly, you forget that wheat must die before it can spring up again, at least so they say at college. My friend Sidrac, laughing heartily at this interruption, replied. That assertion went down very well a few years ago, when it was first published by an apostle called Paul; but in our more enlightened age, the meanest laborer knows that the thing is altogether too ridiculous even for argument.

“What you’re saying,” Mr. Sidrac replied, “has been said many years ago, and honestly, that’s a good thing because it makes it more likely that your comment is true. I’m always amazed when I think about how a single grain of wheat buried in the ground can produce, in no time at all, more than just a handful of the same grain. ‘Hold on,’ I said foolishly, ‘you forget that wheat has to die before it can grow again, or at least that’s what they teach at college.’ My friend Sidrac laughed heartily at this interruption and said, ‘That claim sounded pretty good a few years back when it was first shared by an apostle named Paul, but in our more advanced age, even the simplest laborer knows that idea is just too ridiculous to argue about.’”

My dear friend, said I, excuse the absurdity of my remark, I have hitherto been a theologian, and one cannot divest one's self in a moment of every silly opinion.

My dear friend, I said, please forgive the absurdity of my comment. Until now, I've been a theologian, and it's not easy to rid oneself of all silly beliefs in an instant.


III.

Great advice.

Some time after this conversation between the disconsolate person, whom we shall call Goodman, and the clever anatomist, Mr. Sidrac, the latter, one fine morning, observed his friend in St. James's Park, standing in an attitude of deep thought. What is the matter? said the surgeon. Is there anything amiss? No, replied Goodman, but I am left without a patron in the world since the death of my friend, who had the misfortune to be so deaf. Now supposing there be only ten thousand clergymen in England, and granting these ten thousand have each two patrons, the odds against my obtaining a bishopric are twenty thousand to one; a reflection quite sufficient to give any man the blue-devils. I remember, it was once proposed to me, to go out as cabin-boy to the East Indies. I was told that I should make my fortune. But as I did not think I should make a good admiral, whenever I should arrive at the distinction, I declined; and so, after turning my attention to every profession under the sun, I am fixed for life as a poor clergyman, good for nothing.

Some time after this conversation between the heartbroken person, whom we’ll call Goodman, and the clever anatomist, Mr. Sidrac, the latter one fine morning saw his friend in St. James's Park, standing deep in thought. "What’s wrong?" asked the surgeon. "Is something bothering you?" "No," replied Goodman, "but I’m left without a patron in the world since my friend, who was unfortunately very deaf, passed away. Now, if there are only ten thousand clergymen in England, and assuming each of these ten thousand has two patrons, the chances of me getting a bishopric are twenty thousand to one; that's enough to give anyone the blues. I remember it was once suggested to me that I should go out as a cabin-boy to the East Indies. They said I would make my fortune. But since I didn’t think I’d be a good admiral when I eventually reached that status, I turned it down; and so, after considering every profession under the sun, I’m stuck for life as a poor clergyman, good for nothing.

Then be a clergyman no longer! cried Sidrac, and turn philosopher: what is your income? Only thirty guineas a year, replied Goodman; although at the death of my mother, it will be increased to fifty. Well, my dear Goodman, continued Sidrac, that sum is quite sufficient to support you in comfort. Thirty guineas are six hundred and thirty shillings, almost two shillings a day. With this fixed income, a man need do nothing to increase it, but is at perfect liberty to say all he thinks of the East India Company, the House of Commons, the king and all the royal family, of man generally and individually, and lastly, of God and his attributes; and the liberty we enjoy of expressing our thoughts upon these most interesting topics, is certainly very agreeable and amusing.

"Then stop being a clergyman!" shouted Sidrac, "and become a philosopher instead. What’s your income?" "Only thirty guineas a year," replied Goodman, "but it will go up to fifty when my mother passes away." "Well, my dear Goodman," Sidrac continued, "that amount is more than enough to support you comfortably. Thirty guineas equals six hundred and thirty shillings, which is almost two shillings a day. With this fixed income, a person doesn’t need to do anything to increase it, and is completely free to express all their thoughts on the East India Company, the House of Commons, the king and the entire royal family, as well as humankind in general and individually, and ultimately, about God and his attributes. The freedom we have to share our thoughts on these fascinating topics is certainly very enjoyable and entertaining."

Come and dine at my table every day. That will save you some little money. We will afterwards amuse ourselves with conversation, and your thinking faculty will have the pleasure of communicating with mine by means of speech, which is certainly a very wonderful thing, though its advantages are not duly appreciated by the greater part of mankind.

Come and eat at my table every day. That will save you a bit of money. Afterwards, we can enjoy some conversation, and your mind will get the pleasure of communicating with mine through speech, which is definitely a remarkable thing, even though most people don't fully appreciate its benefits.

The poor clergyman. The struggling clergyman.—"I remember, someone once suggested I work as a cabin-boy in the East Indies. I was told I could make my fortune. But since I didn't think I would be a good admiral, no matter how far I got, I turned it down; and now, after considering every job imaginable, I'm stuck for life as a poor clergyman, useless."

IV.

DIALOGUE ABOUT THE SOUL AND OTHER TOPICS.

GOODMAN.—But my dear Sidrac, why do you always say my thinking faculty and not my soul? If you used the latter term I should understand you much better.

GOODMAN.—But my dear Sidrac, why do you always say my thinking ability and not my soul? If you used the latter term I would understand you much better.

SIDRAC.—And for my part, I freely confess, I should not understand myself. I feel, I know, that God has endowed me with the faculties of thinking and speaking, but I can neither feel nor know that God has given me a thing called a soul.

SIDRAC.—Honestly, I admit I wouldn't even understand myself. I feel, I know, that God has given me the ability to think and speak, but I can't feel or know that God has given me something called a soul.

GOODMAN.—Truly upon reflection, I perceive that I know as little about the matter as you do, though I own that I have, all my life, been bold enough to believe that I knew. I have often remarked that the eastern nations apply to the soul the same word they use to express life. After their example, the Latins understood the word anima to signify the life of the animal. The Greeks called the breath the soul. The Romans translated the word breath by spiritus, and thence it is that the word spirit or soul is found in every modern nation. As it happens that no one has ever seen this spirit or breath, our imagination has converted it into a being, which it is impossible to see or touch. The learned tell us, that the soul inhabits the body without having any place in it, that it has the power of setting our different organs in motion without being able to reach and touch them, indeed, what has not been said upon the subject? The great Locke knew into what a chaos these absurdities had plunged the human understanding. In writing the only reasonable book upon metaphysics that has yet appeared in the world, he did not compose a single chapter on the soul; and if by chance he now and then makes use of the word, he only introduces it to stand for intellect or mind.

GOODMAN.—Honestly, upon thinking it over, I realize that I know just as little about the matter as you do, even though I've always thought I knew a lot. I've often noticed that Eastern nations use the same word for the soul that they use for life. Following their example, the Latins understood the word anima to mean the life of an animal. The Greeks referred to breath as the soul. The Romans translated the word breath as spiritus, and that's where the word spirit or soul comes from in every modern nation. Since no one has ever seen this spirit or breath, our imagination has turned it into something that we can't see or touch. Scholars tell us that the soul lives in the body without having a physical presence within it, and it can move our different organs without being able to reach or touch them. Honestly, what hasn't been said about this topic? The great Locke understood the chaos these absurdities had caused in human reasoning. In writing the only reasonable book on metaphysics that's ever been published, he didn't dedicate a single chapter to the soul; and if he happened to use the word now and then, it was only to refer to intellect or mind.

In fact, every human being, in spite of Bishop Berkeley, is sensible that he has a mind, and that this mind or intellect is capable of receiving ideas; but no one can feel that there is another being—a soul,—within him, which gives him motion, feeling and thought. It is, in fact, ridiculous to use words we do not understand, and to admit the existence of beings of whom we cannot have the slightest knowledge.

In fact, every person, despite Bishop Berkeley, knows they have a mind, and this mind or intellect is capable of receiving ideas; but no one can truly feel that there is another being—a soul—inside them that gives them movement, feelings, and thoughts. It's just silly to use words we don't understand and to accept the existence of beings we can't have the slightest knowledge about.

SIDRAC.—We are then agreed upon a subject which, for so many centuries, has been a matter of dispute.

SIDRAC.—So, we have come to an agreement on a topic that has been debated for so many centuries.

GOODMAN.—And I must observe that I am surprised we should have agreed upon it so soon.

GOODMAN.—I have to say, I'm surprised we came to an agreement so quickly.

SIDRAC. Oh! that is not so astonishing. We really wish to know what is truth. If we were among the Academies, we should argue like the characters in Rabelais. If we had lived in those ages of darkness, the clouds of which so long enveloped Great Britain, one of us would very likely have burned the other. We are so fortunate as to be born in an age comparatively reasonable; we easily discover what appears to us to be truth, and we are not afraid to proclaim it.

SIDRAC. Oh! that’s not surprising at all. We genuinely want to know what the truth is. If we were in the Academies, we would debate like the characters in Rabelais. If we had lived in those dark times that long surrounded Great Britain, one of us might have even burned the other. We're lucky to be born in a time that’s relatively reasonable; we can easily find what we see as the truth, and we're not afraid to speak it out loud.

GOODMAN.—You are right, but I fear, that, after all, the truth we have discovered is not worth much. In mathematics, indeed, we have done wonders; from the most simple causes we have produced effects that would have astonished Apollonius or Archimedes: but what have we proved in metaphysics? Absolutely nothing but our own ignorance.

GOODMAN.—You’re right, but I worry that the truth we’ve found isn’t worth much. In math, we’ve really accomplished great things; from the simplest causes, we’ve created effects that would have amazed Apollonius or Archimedes. But what have we proven in metaphysics? Absolutely nothing except our own ignorance.

SIDRAC.—And do you call that nothing? You grant the supreme Being has given you the faculties of feeling and thinking, he has in the same manner given your feet the faculty of walking, your hands their wonderful dexterity, your stomach the capability of digesting food, and your heart the power of throwing arterial blood into all parts of your body. Everything we enjoy is derived from God, and yet we are totally ignorant of the means by which he governs and conducts the universe. For my own part, as Shakespeare says, I thank him for having taught me that, of the principles of things, I know absolutely nothing. It has always been a question, in what manner the soul acted upon the body. Before attempting to answer this question, I must be convinced that I have a soul. Either God has given us this wonderful spark of intellect, or he has gifted us with some principle that answers equally well. In either case, we are still the creatures of his divine will and goodness, and that is all I know about the matter.

SIDRAC.—And you think that’s nothing? You acknowledge that the supreme Being has given you the ability to feel and think; he has also given your feet the ability to walk, your hands their incredible skill, your stomach the ability to digest food, and your heart the power to circulate blood throughout your body. Everything we enjoy comes from God, yet we are completely unaware of how He manages and runs the universe. Personally, like Shakespeare said, I’m grateful for having learned that, when it comes to the principles of things, I know absolutely nothing. It has always been a question of how the soul interacts with the body. Before I can try to answer this question, I need to be convinced that I have a soul. Either God has given us this amazing spark of intelligence, or He has bestowed upon us some principle that serves just as well. In either case, we remain creations of His divine will and goodness, and that’s all I know about it.

GOODMAN.—But if you do not know, tell me at least, what you are inclined to think upon the subject. You have opened skulls, and dissected the human fœtus. Have you ever, in these, dissections, discovered any appearance of a soul?

GOODMAN.—But if you don’t know, at least tell me what you think about it. You’ve opened up skulls and examined human embryos. In your dissections, have you ever found any sign of a soul?

SIDRAC.—Not the least, and I have not been able to understand how an immortal and spiritual essence, could dwell for months together in a membrane. It appears to me difficult to conceive that this pretended soul existed before the foundation of the body; for in what could it have been employed during the many ages previous to its mysterious union with flesh? Again! how can we imagine a spiritual principle waiting patiently in idleness during a whole eternity, in order to animate a mass of matter for a space of time, which, compared with eternity, is less than a moment?

SIDRAC.—For one, I can’t wrap my head around how an immortal and spiritual essence could exist for months within a membrane. It’s hard for me to believe that this supposed soul was around before the body was formed; what could it possibly have been doing for the countless ages leading up to its mysterious connection with flesh? Plus, how can we picture a spiritual principle just hanging around in passivity for all eternity, waiting to animate a mass of matter for a time frame that, when compared to eternity, is nothing more than a blink?

It is worse still, when I am told that God forms immortal souls out of nothing, and then cruelly dooms them to an eternity of flames and torments. What? burn a spirit, in which there can be nothing capable of burning; how can he burn the sound of a voice, or the wind that blows? though both the sound and wind were material during the short time of their existence; but a pure spirit—a thought—a doubt—I am lost in the labyrinth; on whichever side I turn, I find nothing but obscurity and absurdity, impossibility and contradiction. But I am quite at ease when I say to myself God is master of all. He who can cause each star to hold its particular course through the broad expanse of the firmament, can easily give to us sentiments and ideas, without the aid of this atom, called the soul. It is certain that God has endowed all animals, in a greater or lesser degree, with thought, memory, and judgment; he has given them life; it is demonstrated that they have feeling, since they possess all the organs of feeling; if then they have all this without a soul, why is it improbable that we have none? and why do mankind flatter themselves that they alone are gifted with a spiritual and immortal principle?

It’s even worse when I hear that God creates immortal souls from nothing and then cruelly condemns them to an eternity of fire and suffering. What? How can a spirit, which has nothing that can burn, be burned? How can He burn the sound of a voice or the wind? Both the sound and the wind were physical only during their brief existence; but a pure spirit—a thought—a doubt—I get lost in confusion; no matter which way I turn, I encounter only darkness and absurdity, impossibility and contradiction. But I feel at peace when I remind myself that God is in control of everything. The one who can make every star follow its specific path across the vast sky can easily give us feelings and thoughts without needing this tiny thing called the soul. It’s clear that God has given all animals, to some extent, thought, memory, and judgment; He has given them life; it’s proven that they can feel, since they have all the organs necessary for feeling; if they have all this without a soul, why is it so unlikely that we don’t have one either? And why do humans deceive themselves into thinking they are the only ones with a spiritual and immortal essence?

GOODMAN.—Perhaps this idea arises from their inordinate vanity. I am persuaded that if the peacock could speak, he would boast of his soul, and would affirm that it inhabited his magnificent tail. I am very much inclined to believe with you, that God has created us thinking creatures, with the faculties of eating, drinking, feeling, &c., without telling us one word about the matter. We are as ignorant as the peacock I just mentioned, and he who said that we live and die without knowing how, why, or wherefore, spoke nothing but the truth.

GOODMAN.—Maybe this idea comes from their excessive vanity. I truly believe that if the peacock could talk, he would brag about his soul and claim it resides in his stunning tail. I'm very much inclined to agree with you that God made us thinking beings, with the abilities to eat, drink, feel, etc., without giving us any explanation about it. We are just as clueless as the peacock I just mentioned, and whoever said that we live and die without understanding how, why, or for what reason was speaking nothing but the truth.

SIDRAC.—A celebrated author, whose name I forget, calls us nothing more than the puppets of Providence, and this seems to me to be a very good definition. An infinity of movements are necessary to our existence, but we did not ourselves invent and produce motion. There is a Being who has created light, caused it to move from the sun to our eyes in about seven minutes. It is only by means of motion that my five senses are put in action, and it is only by means of my senses that I have ideas, hence it follows that my ideas are derived from the great author of motion, and when he informs me how he communicates these ideas to me, I will most sincerely thank him.

SIDRAC.—A well-known author, whose name I can't remember, describes us as nothing more than puppets of Providence, and I think that's a pretty accurate definition. Countless movements are necessary for our existence, yet we didn't create or bring about that motion ourselves. There's a Being who created light and made it travel from the sun to our eyes in roughly seven minutes. It's only through motion that my five senses function, and my senses are the source of my ideas. Therefore, my ideas come from the great source of motion, and when he reveals to me how he shares these ideas, I will genuinely thank him.

GOODMAN.—And so will I. As it is I constantly thank him for having permitted me, as Epictetus says, to contemplate for a period of some years this beautiful and glorious world. It is true that he could have made me happier by putting me in possession of Miss Fidler and a good rectory; but still, such as I am, I consider myself as under a great obligation to God's parental kindness and care.

GOODMAN.—And I will too. I’m always grateful to him for allowing me, as Epictetus says, to spend several years reflecting on this beautiful and amazing world. It's true he could have made me happier by giving me Miss Fidler and a nice rectory; but still, as I am, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for God's parental kindness and care.

SIDRAC.—You say that it is in the power of God to give you a good living, and to make you still happier than you are at present. There are many persons who would not scruple flatly to contradict this proposition of yours. Do you forget that you yourself sometimes complain of fatality? A man, and particularly a priest, ought never to contradict one day an assertion he has perhaps made the day before. All is but a succession of links, and God is wiser than to break the eternal chain of events, even for the sake of my dear friend Goodman.

SIDRAC.—You say that God has the power to give you a good life and make you even happier than you are now. Many people would not hesitate to completely disagree with you. Do you forget that you sometimes complain about fate? A man, especially a priest, should never contradict something he might have said just the day before. Everything is a chain of events, and God is too wise to break that eternal chain, even for the sake of my dear friend Goodman.

GOODMAN.—I did not foresee this argument when I was speaking of fatality; but to come at once to the point, if it be so, God is as much a slave as myself.

GOODMAN.—I didn't see this argument coming when I was talking about fate; but to get straight to the point, if that's true, God is just as much a slave as I am.

SIDRAC.—He is the slave of his will, of his wisdom, and of the laws which he has himself instituted; and it is impossible that he can infringe upon any of them; because it is impossible that he can become either weak or inconsistent.

SIDRAC.—He is bound by his own will, his own wisdom, and the rules he has established; and it's impossible for him to break any of them because he cannot be weak or inconsistent.

GOODMAN.—But, my friend, what you say would tend to make us irreligious, for, if God cannot change any of the affairs of the world, what is the use of teasing him with prayers, or of singing hymns to his praise?

GOODMAN.—But, my friend, what you're saying would lead us to be irreligious, because if God can't change anything in the world, what's the point of bothering Him with our prayers or singing hymns in His honor?

SIDRAC.—Well! who bids you worship or pray to God? We praise a man because we think him vain; we entreat of him when we think him weak and likely to change his purpose on account of our petitions. Let us do our duty to God, by being just and true to each other. In that consists our real prayers, and our most heartfelt praises.

SIDRAC.—Well! who tells you to worship or pray to God? We praise a person because we find them vain; we beg them when we think they're weak and might change their mind because of our requests. Let's fulfill our duty to God by being fair and honest with each other. That's where our true prayers and our most genuine praises lie.

Kwan-yin, the goddess of mercy.—Burmese Buddha.—Chinese figure in ivory. Kwan-yin, the goddess of mercy.—Burmese Buddha.—Chinese figure made of ivory.[1]

A CONVERSATION WITH A CHINESE.

In the year 1723, there was a Chinese in Holland, who was both a learned man and a merchant, two things that ought by no means to be incompatible; but which, thanks to the profound respect that is shown to money, and the little regard that the human species pay to merit, have become so among us.

In 1723, there was a Chinese man in Holland who was both educated and a merchant—two roles that shouldn’t really clash. However, due to the deep respect given to wealth and the minimal value placed on human merit, they have become incompatible for us.

This Chinese, who spoke a little Dutch, happened to be in a bookseller's shop at the same time that some literati were assembled there. He asked for a book; they offered him Bossuet's Universal History, badly translated. At the title Universal History

This Chinese man, who spoke a little Dutch, happened to be in a bookstore at the same time that some scholars were gathered there. He asked for a book; they offered him Bossuet's Universal History, poorly translated. At the title Universal History

"How pleased am I," cried the Oriental, "to have met with this book. I shall now see what is said of our great empire; of a nation that has subsisted for upwards of fifty thousand years; of that long dynasty of emperors who have governed us for such a number of ages. I shall see what these Europeans think of the religion of our literati, and of that pure and simple worship we pay to the Supreme Being. What a pleasure will it be for me to find how they speak of our arts, many of which are of a more ancient date with us than the eras of all the kingdoms of Europe! I fancy the author will be greatly mistaken in relation to the war we had about twenty-two thousand five hundred and fifty-two years ago, with the martial people of Tonquin and Japan, as well as the solemn embassy that the powerful emperor of Mogulitian sent to request a body of laws from us in the year of the world 500000000000079123450000."

"How happy I am," exclaimed the Oriental, "to have come across this book. I will now discover what is said about our great empire; about a nation that has existed for over fifty thousand years; about that long line of emperors who have ruled us for so many ages. I’m eager to see how these Europeans view the beliefs of our scholars and the pure, simple worship we offer to the Supreme Being. What a joy it will be for me to find out how they talk about our arts, many of which are older than the foundations of all the kingdoms of Europe! I suspect the author will be quite mistaken regarding the war we fought about twenty-two thousand five hundred and fifty-two years ago against the warrior people of Tonquin and Japan, as well as the formal mission that the powerful emperor of Mogulitian sent to ask for a set of laws from us in the year of the world 500000000000079123450000."

"Lord bless you," said one of the literati, "there is hardly any mention made of that nation in this world, the only nation considered is that marvelous people, the Jews."

"God bless you," said one of the intellectuals, "there’s hardly any mention of that nation in this world; the only nation that gets attention is those amazing people, the Jews."

"The Jews!" said the Chinese, "those people then must certainly be masters of three parts of the globe at least."

"The Jews!" said the Chinese, "those people must be in control of at least three parts of the world."

"They hope to be so some day," answered the other; "but at present they are those pedlars you see going about here with toys and nicknacks, and who sometimes do us the honor to clip our gold and silver."

"They hope to be that way someday," replied the other; "but right now, they're those peddlers you see walking around here with toys and trinkets, and who sometimes graciously take a little off our gold and silver."

"Surely you are not serious," exclaimed the Chinese. "Could those people ever have been in possession of a vast empire?"

"You're not serious, are you?" exclaimed the Chinese. "Could those people have ever had a vast empire?"

Here I joined in the conversation, and told him that for a few years they were in possession of a small country to themselves; but that we were not to judge of a people from the extent of their dominions, any more than of a man by his riches.

Here I joined the conversation and told him that for a few years they had their own small country; but we shouldn't judge a people by the size of their lands, just like we shouldn't judge a person by their wealth.

"But does not this book take notice of some other nations?" demanded the man of letters.

"But doesn't this book mention some other nations?" asked the man of letters.

"Undoubtedly," replied a learned gentleman who stood at my elbow; "it treats largely of a small country about sixty leagues wide, called Egypt, in which it is said that there is a lake of one hundred and fifty leagues in circumference, made by the hands of man."

"Definitely," replied a knowledgeable man who was standing next to me; "it mainly discusses a small country about sixty leagues wide, called Egypt, where it's said there's a lake with a circumference of one hundred and fifty leagues, created by human hands."

"My God!" exclaimed the Chinese, "a lake of one hundred and fifty leagues in circumference within a spot of ground only sixty leagues wide! This is very curious!"

"My God!" exclaimed the Chinese, "a lake that's one hundred and fifty leagues around in a space that's only sixty leagues wide! This is really intriguing!"

"The inhabitants of that country," continued the doctor, "were all sages."

"The people of that country," the doctor continued, "were all wise."

"What happy times were those!" cried the Chinese; "but is that all?"

"What happy times those were!" exclaimed the Chinese. "Is that everything?"

"No," replied the other, "there is mention made of those famous people the Greeks."

"No," replied the other, "they mention those famous people from Greece."

"Greeks! Greeks!" said the Asiatic, "who are those Greeks?"

"Greeks! Greeks!" said the Asian, "who are those Greeks?"

"Why," replied the philosopher, "they were masters of a little province, about the two hundredth part as large as China, but whose fame spread over the whole world."

"Why," replied the philosopher, "they were rulers of a small territory, about one two-hundredth the size of China, but their reputation extended across the entire world."

"Indeed!" said the Chinese, with an air of openness and ingenuousness; "I declare I never heard the least mention of these people, either in the Mogul's country, in Japan, or in Great Tartary."

"Absolutely!" said the Chinese, with a sense of honesty and straightforwardness; "I can honestly say I've never heard anything about these people, either in the Mughal Empire, in Japan, or in Greater Tartary."

"Oh, the barbarian! the ignorant creature!" cried out our sage very politely. "Why then, I suppose you know nothing of Epaminondas the Theban, nor of the Pierian Heaven, nor the names of Achilles's two horses, nor of Silenus's ass? You have never heard speak of Jupiter, nor of Diogenes, nor of Lais, nor of Cybele, nor of—"

"Oh, the barbarian! The ignorant creature!" our wise man exclaimed politely. "So, I guess you know nothing about Epaminondas the Theban, or the Pierian Heaven, or the names of Achilles's two horses, or Silenus's donkey? You've never heard of Jupiter, or Diogenes, or Lais, or Cybele, or—"

"I am very much afraid," said the learned Oriental, interrupting him, "that you know nothing of that eternally memorable adventure of the famous Xixofon Concochigramki, nor of the masteries of the great Fi-psi-hi-hi! But pray tell me what other unknown things does this Universal History treat of?"

"I’m really afraid," said the knowledgeable Eastern scholar, cutting him off, "that you know nothing about that unforgettable adventure of the famous Xixofon Concochigramki, or the skills of the great Fi-psi-hi-hi! But please, tell me what other unknown topics this Universal History covers?"

Upon this my learned neighbor harangued for a quarter of an hour together about the Roman republic, and when he came to Julius Cæsar the Chinese stopped him, and very gravely said.

Upon this, my knowledgeable neighbor spoke for fifteen minutes about the Roman Republic, and when he got to Julius Caesar, the Chinese person interrupted him and said very seriously.

"I think I have heard of him, was he not a Turk?"

"I think I've heard of him; wasn't he a Turk?"

"How!" cried our sage in a fury, "don't you so much as know the difference between Pagans, Christians, and Mahometans? Did you never hear of Constantine? Do you know nothing of the history of the popes?"

"How!" yelled our wise one in anger, "don't you even know the difference between Pagans, Christians, and Muslims? Have you never heard of Constantine? Do you know nothing about the history of the popes?"

"We have heard something confusedly of one Mahomet," replied the Asiatic.

"We've heard something unclear about a guy named Mahomet," replied the Asian.

"It is surely impossible," said the other, "but that you must have heard at least of Luther, Zuinglius, Bellarmin, and Œcolampadius."

"It’s definitely impossible," said the other, "that you haven't at least heard of Luther, Zuinglius, Bellarmin, and Œcolampadius."

"I shall never remember all those names," said the Chinese, and so saying he quitted the shop, and went to sell a large quantity of Pekoa tea, and fine calico, and then after purchasing what merchandise he required, set sail for his own country, adoring Tien, and recommending himself to Confucius.

"I'll never remember all those names," said the Chinese man, and with that, he left the shop, went on to sell a large quantity of Pekoa tea and fine calico, and after buying the goods he needed, set sail for his homeland, worshiping Tien and putting in a good word for himself with Confucius.

As to myself, the conversation I had been witness to plainly discovered to me the nature of vain glory; and I could not forbear exclaiming:

As for me, the conversation I listened to clearly revealed to me the nature of vain glory; and I couldn't help but exclaim:

"Since Cæsar and Jupiter are names unknown to the finest, most ancient, most extensive, most populous, and most civilized kingdom in the universe, it becomes ye well, O ye rulers of petty states! ye pulpit orators of a narrow parish, or a little town! ye doctors of Salamanca, or of Bourges! ye trifling authors, and ye heavy commentators!—it becomes you well, indeed, to aspire to fame and immortality."

"Since Caesar and Jupiter are names unfamiliar to the greatest, oldest, largest, most populated, and most advanced kingdom in the world, it really suits you well, O rulers of small states! You sermonizers of a limited parish or a tiny town! You scholars from Salamanca or Bourges! You insignificant authors and you tedious commentators!—it really suits you well to aim for fame and immortality."

[1] According to Chambers' work on The British Museum, from which the above cuts are copied, "the Chinese, are a vast nation of some 300,000,000 of souls, nearly a third part of the whole human race. The entire population is subject to the supreme and despotic authority of a single hereditary ruler who resides at Pekin, the chief city of the whole empire. Under him the government is administered by a descending hierarchy of officials or mandarins, who are chosen from all ranks of the people, according to their talents as displayed in the course, first of their education at school and college, and afterwards of their public life. The officials are, in short, the men in highest repute for scholarship and accomplishments in the empire; and the whole system of the government is that of promotion upwards from the ranks of the people, according to merit. The Chinese generally are remarkable for common sense, orderliness, and frugal prudential habits. Printing and paper being cheap among them, and education universal, they have an immense literature, chiefly in the departments of the drama, the novel, and the moral essay; their best writers of fiction are said to resemble Richardson in style, and their best moralists Franklin. The greatest name in their literature, or indeed in their history, is that of Confucius, a philosopher and religious teacher who lived about 500 years B.C., and who left a number of books expounding and enforcing the great maxims of morality. During all the revolutions that have since elapsed, the doctrines of Confucius have retained their hold of the Chinese mind, and the religion of China consists in little more than an attachment to these doctrines, and a veneration for their founder. With abstract notions of the Deity, and of the destiny of man when he quits this life, the Chinese do not trouble themselves; a moral, correct life, and especially an honorable discharge of the duties of a son and a citizen, is the whole aim of their piety. There are, however, some voluntary sects among them, who superinduce articles of speculative belief on the prosaic code of morality established by Confucius; and forms of religious worship are practised over the whole country under the direct sanction of the government. There are a number of figures, larger and smaller, of Chinese divinities, some of which are very neatly carved in ivory, wood, and stone. With what precise feelings the more educated Chinese address these images in prayer—whether they look upon them as symbols, or whether, like Polytheists generally, they actually view the carved figures themselves as gifted with powers—it would be difficult to say; the mass of the people, however, probably never ask the question, but, from the mere force of custom, come to regard such objects as the figure of Kwan-yin, the goddess of mercy, and the larger gilt figures of the god and goddess, precisely as the Polytheistic Greeks or Romans regarded their statues in their temples; that is, as real divinities with power for good or evil. The religious sentiment, however, sits very lightly on the Chinese. Absence of any feeling of the supernatural is perhaps the most remarkable feature of the Chinese character.

Please provide a short piece of text for me to modernize. According to Chambers' work on The British Museum, from which the above excerpts are taken, "the Chinese are a large nation of about 300 million people, nearly a third of the entire human population. The whole population is ruled by a single hereditary leader who lives in Beijing, the main city of the empire. Below him, the government is run by a hierarchy of officials or mandarins, selected from all social classes based on their abilities, first shown through their education in schools and colleges, and later in their public life. Essentially, these officials are the most respected for their knowledge and skills in the empire, and the entire government system promotes individuals based on merit. The Chinese are generally known for their common sense, organization, and frugal habits. With affordable printing and widespread education, they boast a vast literature, particularly in drama, novels, and moral essays; their top fiction writers are said to resemble Richardson in style, and their leading moralists are akin to Franklin. The most significant figure in their literature, or indeed in their history, is Confucius, a philosopher and religious teacher who lived around 500 B.C., and who left behind several books discussing and promoting essential moral principles. Despite all the changes over time, Confucius's teachings have maintained their influence on the Chinese mindset, and the essence of Chinese religion centers on an attachment to these teachings and a respect for their founder. The Chinese do not concern themselves much with abstract ideas about God or the fate of humanity after death; their primary religious focus is on living a moral and correct life, particularly fulfilling their responsibilities as sons and citizens. However, there are some voluntary groups among them that introduce speculative beliefs on top of the straightforward moral framework established by Confucius; various forms of religious worship take place throughout the country with government approval. Many figures, both large and small, represent Chinese divinities, some of which are intricately carved from ivory, wood, and stone. It is hard to determine exactly how the more educated Chinese pray to these images—whether they see them as symbols or, similar to many polytheists, truly regard the carved figures as possessing powers. Most people probably don’t question this; out of sheer tradition, they view objects like the statue of Kwan-yin, the goddess of mercy, and large gilded figures of the god and goddess as real deities with the ability to influence good or evil, akin to how polytheistic Greeks or Romans perceived their temple statues. Nevertheless, the religious sentiment is not deeply felt among the Chinese. The absence of any supernatural feeling is perhaps the most notable characteristic of the Chinese nature."

"Buddhism, was founded, as is generally believed, some centuries before Christ by a Hindoo prince and sage named Gautama. As originally propounded, Buddhism is supposed to have been a purer and more reasonable form of faith than Brahminism, recognising more clearly the spiritual and moral aims of religion; but, having been expelled from Hindostan during the early centuries of our era, after having undergone severe persecution from the Brahmins—at whose power it struck, by proscribing the system of castes—-it sought refuge in the eastern peninsula, Ceylon, Thibet, Japan, and China, where it has been modified and corrupted into various forms."—E.

"Buddhism was founded, as is widely believed, several centuries before Christ by a Hindu prince and sage named Gautama. Initially, Buddhism was considered a purer and more rational form of faith than Brahminism, as it recognized the spiritual and moral goals of religion more clearly. However, after being expelled from India during the early centuries of our era and facing severe persecution from the Brahmins—who felt threatened by its rejection of the caste system—it found refuge in the eastern peninsula, Ceylon, Tibet, Japan, and China, where it was adapted and changed into various forms."—E.


The birth of Minerva from the brain Of Jove. The birth of Minerva from the mind of Jupiter.
The birth of Eve from the side of Adam. The creation of Eve from Adam's side.
ANDROGYNOUS DEITIES.

The ancients ascribed the existence of the universe to the fiat of omnipotence. Almighty power conjoined with infinite wisdom had produced the world and all that it inhabits. Man, the head of visible creation, was formed in the image of the gods, but the gods only were endowed with generative or creative power. These gods were androgynous—that is, male and female—containing in one person both the paternal and maternal attributes. Plato taught that mankind, like the gods, were originally androgynous, and Moses tells us that Eve, in matured wisdom and beauty, sprang forth from the side of Adam, even as

The ancients believed the universe existed due to a powerful command from a higher being. This supreme power, along with infinite wisdom, created the world and everything in it. Humans, the highest form of visible creation, were made in the image of the gods, but only the gods had the ability to create. These gods were androgynous—meaning they held both male and female traits—possessing both paternal and maternal qualities in one being. Plato taught that humans, like the gods, were originally androgynous, and Moses tells us that Eve, fully matured in wisdom and beauty, came from Adam's side, just like

"From great Jove's head, the armed Minerva sprung
With awful shout."

"From the great Jupiter's head, the armed Minerva emerged
with a terrifying shout."

"The thought of God as the Divine Mother," says a sincere and intelligent clergyman in a sermon recently published, "is a very ancient one, found in the most early nature worships." "We thank Thee O God," says the Rev. Theodore Parker, "that Thou art our Father and our Mother." "O God," says St. Augustine, "Thou art the Father, Thou the Mother of Thy children."

"The idea of God as the Divine Mother," a sincere and thoughtful clergyman said in a recently published sermon, "is a very ancient concept, seen in the earliest forms of nature worship." "We thank You, O God," Rev. Theodore Parker stated, "that You are our Father and our Mother." "O God," said St. Augustine, "You are the Father, You the Mother of Your children."

The preceding illustration of the birth of Minerva,—the goddess of wisdom,—i.e. wisdom issuing from the brain of Jove, is from Falkener's Museum of Classical Antiquities. It is taken from an ancient Etruscan patera (mirror), now in the Museum at Bologna, and is supposed to have been copied from the pediment of the eastern or main entrance to the Parthenon, or temple of Minerva. This pediment was the work of Phidias, and, like so many of the former monuments of ancient art and civilization, is now forever lost to mankind.

The earlier depiction of Minerva’s birth—the goddess of wisdom—i.e. wisdom emerging from Jove's brain, is sourced from Falkener's Museum of Classical Antiquities. It comes from an ancient Etruscan patera (mirror), currently housed in the Museum at Bologna, and is thought to have been modeled after the pediment of the eastern or main entrance to the Parthenon, the temple of Minerva. This pediment was created by Phidias and, like many earlier works of ancient art and civilization, is now permanently lost to humanity.

"The goddess," says the distinguished architect and antiquary M. De Quincy, "is shown issuing from the head of Jupiter. She has a helmet on her head, buckler on her arm, and spear in her hand. Jupiter is seated, holding a sceptre in one hand and a thunderbolt in the other. On the right of the new born goddess is Juno, whose arms are elevated, and who seems to have assisted at the extraordinary childbirth. On the left of Jupiter is Venus, recognizable by a sprig of myrtle and a dove. Behind Juno is Vulcan, still armed with the axe which has cleft the head of the god, and seeming to regard with admiration the success of his operations."

"The goddess," notes renowned architect and historian M. De Quincy, "is portrayed emerging from Jupiter's head. She wears a helmet, has a shield on her arm, and a spear in her hand. Jupiter sits, holding a scepter in one hand and a thunderbolt in the other. To the right of the newborn goddess is Juno, arms raised, seemingly assisting in this remarkable birth. To the left of Jupiter is Venus, recognized by a myrtle sprig and a dove. Behind Juno stands Vulcan, still holding the axe that split the god's head, apparently admiring his handiwork."

The engraving representing the birth of Eve, is from the Speculum Salutis, or the Mirror of Salvation, of which many manuscript copies were issued, for the instruction of the mendicant friars, between the twelfth and fifteenth centuries. "Heineken describes a copy in the imperial library of Vienna, which he attributes to the twelfth century. He says, such was the popularity of the work with the Benedictines that almost every monastery possessed a copy of it. Of the four manuscript copies owned by the British Museum, one is supposed to have been written in the thirteenth century, another copy is in the Flemish writing of the fifteenth century." This work, which contains several engravings and forty-five chapters of barbarous Latin rhymes, presents a good illustration of Christian art as it existed during the period immediately preceding the revival of letters, when the barbarism and ignorance of the dark ages had supplanted the artistic culture of ancient Greece and Rome.

The engraving depicting the birth of Eve comes from the Speculum Salutis, or the Mirror of Salvation, of which many manuscript copies were made for the education of mendicant friars between the twelfth and fifteenth centuries. "Heineken describes a copy in the imperial library of Vienna, which he dates to the twelfth century. He mentions that the work was so popular among the Benedictines that nearly every monastery had a copy. Of the four manuscript copies in the British Museum, one is thought to have been written in the thirteenth century, and another is in Flemish writing from the fifteenth century." This work, which includes several engravings and forty-five chapters of rough Latin rhymes, provides a good example of Christian art during the period just before the revival of letters, when the barbarism and ignorance of the dark ages replaced the artistic culture of ancient Greece and Rome.

Unprejudiced readers will doubtless admit that the birth of Minerva from the brain of Jove greatly resembles the birth of Eve from the side of Adam, and these myths show the analogy existing between the Jewish and Pagan mythologies; but the design and execution of the respective engravings, show the retrogression in art that had taken place between the time of the immortal Phidias and that of Pope Innocent III.[1]—between Pagan civilization as it existed prior to the Christian era, and the medieval barbarism of the successors of St. Peter.

Unbiased readers will likely agree that Minerva's birth from Jove's mind is very similar to Eve's birth from Adam's side. These myths point out the parallels between Jewish and Pagan mythologies; however, the design and quality of the respective engravings show the decline in art that happened between the time of the great Phidias and that of Pope Innocent III.__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__—between Pagan civilization before the Christian era and the medieval barbarism of St. Peter's successors.

"God created man in his own image," says Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis, (vol. 2, p. 397.) "Everything was supposed to be in the image of God; and thus man was created double—the male and female in one person, or androgynous like God. By some uninitiated Jews, of about the time of Christ, this double being was supposed to have been created back to back [see the bearded Bacchus and Ariadne on the following page]; but I believe, from looking at the twins in all ancient zodiacs, it was side by side; precisely as we have seen the Siamese boys,—but still male and female. Besides, the book of Genesis implies that they were side by side, by the woman being taken from the side of man. Among the Indians the same doctrine is found, as we might expect."

"God created man in His own image," states Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis, (vol. 2, p. 397.) "Everything was made to reflect the image of God; thus, man was created as a dual being—the male and female combined into one person, or androgynous like God. Some ancient Jews, around the time of Christ, believed this dual being was created back to back [see the bearded Bacchus and Ariadne on the following page]; but I think, based on the twins depicted in all ancient zodiacs, they were side by side; just like we've seen with Siamese boys—but still male and female. Moreover, the book of Genesis implies they were side by side, since the woman was taken from the side of man. We find the same belief among the Indians, which is what we would expect."

"We must rise to man," says the eloquent clergyman previously referred to, "in order to know rightly what God is. Humanity plainly images a power which is at once the source and pattern of the womanly as well as of the manly qualities, inasmuch as woman as well as man is needed to fill out the idea of humanity. The womanly traits—pity, forgiveness, gentleness, patience, sympathy, unselfishness—are as worthy of the Divine Being as the manly traits."—E.

"We must rise to humanity," says the eloquent clergyman mentioned earlier, "to truly understand what God is. Humanity clearly reflects a force that is the source and model for both feminine and masculine qualities, since both women and men are necessary to complete the concept of humanity. The feminine traits—compassion, forgiveness, gentleness, patience, empathy, and selflessness—are just as worthy of the Divine Being as the masculine traits."—E.

[1] "It was," says Gibbon, "at the feet of his legate that John of England surrendered his crown; and Innocent may boast of the two most signal triumphs over sense and humanity, the establishment of transsubstantiation, and the origin of the inquisition."

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_1__ "It was," Gibbon states, "at the feet of his representative that John of England gave up his crown; and Innocent can take pride in two major victories over reason and humanity: the establishment of transubstantiation and the beginning of the Inquisition."


Bacchus and Ariadne. Bacchus and Ariadne. [1]

PLATO'S DREAM.

Plato was a great dreamer, as many others have been since his time. He dreampt that mankind were formerly double; and that, as a punishment for their crimes, they were divided into male and female.

Plato was a great dreamer, like many others have been since then. He dreamed that humans were once double beings, and that, as a punishment for their wrongdoings, they were split into male and female.

He undertook to prove that there can be no more than five perfect worlds, because there are but five regular mathematical bodies. His Republic was one of his principal dreams. He dreampt, moreover, that watching arises from sleep, and sleep from watching; and that a person who should attempt to look at an eclipse, otherwise than in a pail of water, would surely lose his sight. Dreams were, at that time, in great repute.

He set out to show that there can’t be more than five perfect worlds because there are only five regular geometric shapes. His Republic was one of his main aspirations. He also envisioned that watching comes from sleeping, and sleeping comes from watching; and that anyone who tries to look at an eclipse in any way other than through a bucket of water would definitely go blind. Dreams were highly valued at that time.

Here follows one of his dreams, which is not one of the least interesting. He thought that the great Demiurgos, the eternal geometer, having peopled the immensity of space with innumerable globes, was willing to make a trial of the knowledge of the genii who had been witnesses of his works. He gave to each of them a small portion of matter to arrange, nearly in the same manner as Phidias and Zeuxis would have given their scholars a statue to carve, or a picture to paint, if we may be allowed to compare small things to great.

Here’s one of his dreams, and it’s definitely one of the more interesting ones. He imagined the great Demiurgos, the eternal geometer, who had filled the vastness of space with countless worlds, wanted to test the knowledge of the genies who had observed his creations. He gave each of them a small piece of matter to shape, much like how Phidias and Zeuxis would assign their students a statue to sculpt or a painting to create, if we can compare smaller things to larger ones.

Envy. Jealousy.

Demogorgon had for his lot the lump of mould, which we call the Earth; and having formed it, such as it now appears, he thought he had executed a masterpiece. He imagined he had silenced Envy herself, and expected to receive the highest panegyrics, even from his brethren; but how great was his surprise, when, at his next appearing among them, they received him with a general hiss.

Demogorgon was assigned the mass of clay we refer to as the Earth; and after shaping it into its current form, he believed he had created a masterpiece. He thought he had silenced Envy herself and looked forward to receiving high praise, even from his fellow beings; but he was shocked when, upon his next appearance among them, they greeted him with a chorus of hisses.

One among them, more satirical than the rest, accosted him thus:

One of them, more sarcastic than the others, approached him like this:

"Truly you have performed mighty feats! you have divided your world into two parts; and, to prevent the one from having communication with the other, you have carefully placed a vast collection of waters between the two hemispheres. The inhabitants must perish with cold under both your poles, and be scorched to death under the equator. You have, in your great prudence, formed immense deserts of sand, so that all who travel over them may die with hunger and thirst. I have no fault to find with your cows, your sheep, your cocks, and your hens; but can never be reconciled to your serpents and your spiders. Your onions and your artichokes are very good things, but I cannot conceive what induced you to scatter such a heap of poisonous plants over the face of the earth, unless it was to poison its inhabitants. Moreover, if I am not mistaken, you have created about thirty different kinds of monkeys, a still greater number of dogs, and only four or five species of the human race. It is true, indeed, you have bestowed on the latter of these animals a faculty by you called Reason; but, in truth, this same reason is a very ridiculous thing, and borders very near upon folly. Besides, you do not seem to have shown any very great regard to this two-legged creature, seeing you have left him with so few means of defense; subjected him to so many disorders, and provided him with so few remedies; and formed him with such a multitude of passions, and so small a portion of wisdom or prudence to resist them. You certainly was not willing that there should remain any great number of these animals on the earth at once; for, without reckoning the dangers to which you have exposed them, you have so ordered matters that, taking every day through the year, the small pox will regularly carry off the tenth part of the species, and sister maladies will taint the springs of life in the nine remaining parts; and then, as if this was not sufficient, you have so disposed things, that one-half of those who survive will be occupied in going to law with each other, or cutting one another's throats.

"Honestly, you’ve done some amazing things! You've split your world into two halves, and to keep them from connecting, you've put a massive ocean between the two. The people living near your poles must freeze to death, while those at the equator suffer from heat. In your great wisdom, you've created huge deserts of sand, ensuring that anyone crossing them will starve and thirst. I have no issues with your cows, sheep, roosters, or hens; I just can’t come to terms with your snakes and spiders. Your onions and artichokes are great, but I can't understand why you'd spread so many poisonous plants across the earth, unless it was to harm its inhabitants. Plus, if I’m not mistaken, you’ve made about thirty different types of monkeys, even more types of dogs, and only four or five types of humans. It’s true, you gave humans a thing you call Reason; however, this reason often seems quite ridiculous and verging on foolishness. Also, you don’t appear to have cared much for this two-legged creature, considering you’ve left him with so few ways to defend himself, subjected him to many diseases, and given him so few cures; plus, you made him full of passions with very little wisdom or prudence to control them. You clearly didn't want many of these beings to be on earth at the same time, because aside from the dangers you've put in their way, you’ve arranged things so that, on average each day of the year, smallpox takes out one-tenth of the population, and other illnesses weaken the lives of the remaining nine-tenths; and as if that wasn’t enough, you made it so that half of those who survive spend their time in lawsuits with each other or killing one another."

"Now, they must doubtless be under infinite obligations to you, and it must be owned you have executed a masterpiece."

"Now, they must surely be extremely grateful to you, and it's clear that you've created a masterpiece."

Demogorgon blushed. He was sensible there was much moral and physical evil in this affair; but still he insisted there was more good than ill in it.

Demogorgon felt a flush of embarrassment. He recognized that there was a lot of moral and physical wrongdoing in this situation; however, he still argued that there was more good than bad in it.

"It is an easy matter to find fault, good folks," said the genii; "but do you imagine it is so easy to form an animal, who, having the gift of reason and free-will, shall not sometimes abuse his liberty? Do you think that, in rearing between nine and ten thousand different plants, it is so easy to prevent some few from having noxious qualities? Do you suppose that, with a certain quantity of water, sand, and mud, you could make a globe that should have neither seas nor deserts?"

"It’s easy to criticize, good people," said the genii; "but do you really think it’s so simple to create a creature with reason and free will that won’t sometimes misuse its freedom? Do you believe that, in cultivating between nine and ten thousand different plants, it’s so straightforward to ensure that none of them have harmful qualities? Do you imagine that, with a certain amount of water, sand, and mud, you could create a world that has no seas or deserts?"

"As for you, my sneering friend, I think you have just finished the planet Jupiter. Let us see now what figure you make with your great belts, and your long nights, with four moons to enlighten them. Let us examine your worlds, and see whether the inhabitants you have made are exempt from follies or diseases."

"As for you, my mocking friend, I think you’ve just wrapped up the planet Jupiter. Let’s see now what shape you create with your huge belts and your long nights, with four moons to light them up. Let’s check out your worlds and see if the beings you’ve created are free from foolishness or sickness."

Accordingly the genii fell to examining the planet Jupiter, when the laugh went strongly against the laugher. The serious genii who had made the planet Saturn, did not escape without his share of the censure, and his brother operators, the makers of Mars, Mercury, and Venus, had each in his turn some reproaches to undergo.

Accordingly, the geniuses began examining the planet Jupiter, and the joke ended up being on the jokester. The serious genius who created the planet Saturn wasn't free from criticism, and his fellow creators—the ones who made Mars, Mercury, and Venus—each faced their share of blame in turn.

Several large volumes, and a great number of pamphlets, were written on this occasion; smart sayings and witty repartees flew about on all sides; they railed against and ridiculed each other; and, in short, the disputes were carried on with all the warmth of party heat, when the eternal Demiurgos thus imposed silence on them all:

Several large books and many pamphlets were created for this event; clever remarks and witty comebacks were exchanged everywhere; they criticized and made fun of each other; and, in short, the arguments were carried out with the intensity of political rivalry, when the eternal Demiurgos suddenly silenced them all:

"In your several performances there is both good and bad, because you have a great share of understanding, but at the same time fall short of perfection. Your works will not endure above an hundred millions of years, after which you will acquire more knowledge, and perform much better. It belongs to me alone to create things perfect and immortal."

"In your various performances, there are both strengths and weaknesses because you have a significant level of understanding, but you still lack perfection. Your work won't last more than a hundred million years; after that, you'll gain more knowledge and do much better. It’s solely my role to create things that are perfect and eternal."

This was the doctrine Plato taught his disciples. One of them, when he had finished his harangue, cried out, "And so you then awoke?"

This was the teaching Plato shared with his students. One of them, after he finished his speech, shouted, "So you woke up then?"

[1] The above representation of a bearded Bacchus and Ariadne is from Falkener's Museum of Classical Antiquities. The statue was found at Pompeii in 1847.—E.

[1] The above depiction of a bearded Bacchus and Ariadne is from Falkener's Museum of Classical Antiquities. The statue was discovered in Pompeii in 1847.—E.

Plato. Plato.

Visiting Seignior Pococurante. Visiting Mr. Pococurante.

PLEASURE IN HAVING NO PLEASURE.

"Hitherto," said Candide to Martin, "I have met with none but unfortunate people in the whole habitable globe, except in El Dorado, but, observe those gondoliers, are they not perpetually singing?"

"Up until now," said Candide to Martin, "I have only come across unfortunate people all over the world, except in El Dorado. But look at those gondoliers; aren't they always singing?"

"You do not see them," answered Martin, "at home with their wives and brats. The doge has his chagrin, gondoliers theirs. Nevertheless, in the main, I look upon the gondolier's life as preferable to that of the doge; but the difference is so trifling, that it is not worth the trouble of examining into."

"You don't see them," Martin replied, "at home with their wives and kids. The doge has his frustrations, and the gondoliers have theirs. Still, overall, I see the gondolier's life as better than that of the doge; but the difference is so small that it's not worth the effort to dig into."

"I have heard great talk," said Candide, "of the Senator Pococurante, who lives in that fine house at the Brenta, where, they say, he entertains foreigners in the most polite manner. They pretend this man is a perfect stranger to uneasiness."

"I've heard a lot of talk," said Candide, "about Senator Pococurante, who lives in that beautiful house by the Brenta, where he apparently hosts foreigners in the most polite way. They claim this man is completely free of worry."

"I should be glad to see so extraordinary a being," said Martin.

"I would be happy to see such an extraordinary person," said Martin.

Candide thereupon sent a messenger to Seignior Pococurante, desiring permission to wait on him the next day.

Candide then sent a messenger to Señor Pococurante, asking for permission to visit him the next day.

Accordingly, Candide and his friend Martin went in a gondola on the Brenta, and arrived at the palace of the noble Pococurante. The gardens were laid out in elegant taste, and adorned with fine marble statues; his palace was built after the most approved rules in architecture. The master of the house, who was a man of sixty, and very rich, received our two travelers with great politeness, but without much ceremony, which somewhat disconcerted Candide, but was not at all displeasing to Martin.

Accordingly, Candide and his friend Martin took a gondola ride on the Brenta and arrived at the palace of the wealthy Pococurante. The gardens were beautifully designed and decorated with exquisite marble statues; his palace was constructed according to the best architectural standards. The owner of the house, a wealthy sixty-year-old man, welcomed our two travelers warmly but without much formality, which surprised Candide a bit but didn’t bother Martin at all.

As soon as they were seated, two very pretty girls, neatly dressed, brought in chocolate, which was extremely well frothed. Candide could not help making encomiums upon their beauty and graceful carriage.

As soon as they sat down, two very pretty girls, nicely dressed, brought in chocolate that was really well frothed. Candide couldn’t help praising their beauty and graceful demeanor.

"The creatures are well enough," said the senator, "but I am heartily tired of women, of their coquetry, their jealousy, their quarrels, their humors, their vanity, their pride, and their folly; I am weary of making sonnets, or of paying for sonnets to be made on them; and, after all, those two girls begin to grow very indifferent to me."

"The creatures are fine," said the senator, "but I’m completely fed up with women—their flirting, their jealousy, their arguments, their moods, their vanity, their pride, and their foolishness; I’m exhausted from writing sonnets or paying someone else to write them for them; and honestly, those two girls are starting to mean very little to me."

After having refreshed himself, Candide walked into a large gallery, where he was struck with the sight of a fine collection of paintings.

After freshening up, Candide walked into a large gallery, where he was taken aback by the impressive collection of paintings.

"Pray," said Candide, "by what master are the first two of these?"

"Please," said Candide, "by which master are the first two of these?"

"They are Raphael's," answered the senator. "I gave a great deal of money for them seven years ago, purely out of curiosity, as they were said to be the finest pieces in Italy; but I cannot say they please me: the coloring is dark and heavy; the figures do not swell nor come out enough, and the drapery is very bad. In short, notwithstanding the encomiums lavished upon them, they are not, in my opinion, a true representation of nature. I approve of no paintings but where I think I behold nature herself; and there are very few, if any, of that kind to be met with. I have what is called a fine collection, but it affords me no delight."

"They're Raphael's," the senator replied. "I paid a lot of money for them seven years ago, purely out of curiosity, since they were said to be the best pieces in Italy; but I can't say I like them: the colors are dark and heavy; the figures don't stand out enough, and the drapery is really poor. In short, despite the praise they've received, I don't think they truly represent nature. I only appreciate paintings where I feel I can see nature itself, and there are very few, if any, like that out there. I have what’s considered a fine collection, but it brings me no joy."

While dinner was getting ready, Pococurante ordered a concert. Candide praised the music to the skies.

While dinner was being prepared, Pococurante arranged for a concert. Candide praised the music highly.

"This noise," said the noble Venetian, "may amuse one for a little time, but if it were to last above half an hour, it would grow very tiresome, though perhaps no one would care to own it. Music has become the art of executing that which is difficult. Now whatever is difficult cannot long continue pleasing. I might take more pleasure in an opera if they had not made that species of dramatic entertainment so shockingly monstrous; and I am amazed that people can bear to see wretched tragedies set to music, where the scenes are contrived for no other purpose than to lug in, as it were by the ears, three or four ridiculous songs, to give a favorite actress an opportunity of exhibiting her voice. Let who will or can die away in raptures at the trills of an eunuch quavering the majestic part of Cæsar or Cato, and strutting in a foolish manner on the stage; for my part, I have long ago renounced these paltry entertainments, which constitute the glory of modern Italy, and are so dearly purchased by crowned heads."

"This noise," said the noble Venetian, "might be entertaining for a little while, but if it goes on for more than half an hour, it quickly becomes tiresome, even if no one would admit it. Music has turned into the art of performing what is difficult. But anything that is difficult can’t stay enjoyable for long. I could enjoy an opera more if they hadn’t made that type of dramatic entertainment so shockingly absurd; and I’m amazed that people can tolerate watching miserable tragedies set to music, where the scenes are just there to awkwardly force in three or four silly songs, so a favorite actress can show off her voice. Let anyone who wants to swoon over an eunuch hitting the high notes as Cæsar or Cato and acting foolishly on stage do so; as for me, I gave up on these trivial entertainments, which are considered the pride of modern Italy and are so dearly bought by kings."

Candide opposed these sentiments; but he did it in a discreet manner; as for Martin, he was entirely of the old senator's opinion.

Candide disagreed with these views, but he did so in a subtle way; as for Martin, he completely shared the old senator's opinion.

Dinner being served up, they sat down to table, and after a very hearty repast returned to the library. Candide observing Homer richly bound, commended the noble Venetian's taste.

Dinner was served, so they sat down at the table, and after a very hearty meal, they went back to the library. Candide noticed a beautifully bound edition of Homer and praised the noble Venetian's taste.

"This," said he, "is a book that was once the delight of the great Pangloss, the best philosopher in Germany."

"This," he said, "is a book that used to be the joy of the great Pangloss, the best philosopher in Germany."

"Homer is no favorite of mine," answered Pococurante, very coolly: "I was made to believe once that I took a pleasure in reading him; but his continual repetitions of battles have all such a resemblance with each other; his gods, that are forever in a hurry and bustle without ever doing anything; his Helen, that is the cause of the war, and yet hardly acts in the whole performance; his Troy, that holds out so long, without being taken; in short, all these things together make the poem very insipid to me. I have asked some learned men, whether they are not in reality as much tired as myself with reading this poet? Those who spoke ingenuously, assured me that he had made them fall asleep; and yet, that they could not well avoid giving him a place in their libraries; but it was merely as they would do an antique, or those rusty medals which are kept only for curiosity, and are of no manner of use in commerce."

"Homer isn't exactly my favorite," Pococurante replied calmly. "I used to think I enjoyed reading him, but his constant repetition of battles all seems the same to me. His gods are always in a rush and busy but never actually do anything; his Helen causes the war but hardly does anything throughout the story; his Troy holds out forever without being conquered. In short, all of these factors make the poem pretty dull for me. I've asked some scholars if they also find reading this poet tiring. Those who were honest told me they often fell asleep while reading him. Still, they felt they had to keep his works in their libraries, but it was more like displaying an antique or those old coins that are kept just for their curiosity and aren't useful for anything."

"But your excellency does not surely form this same opinion of Virgil?" said Candide.

"But you don’t really think the same about Virgil, do you?" said Candide.

"Why, I grant," replied Pococurante, "that the second, third, fourth, and sixth book, of his Æneid are excellent; but as for his pious Æneas, his strong Cloanthus, his friendly Achates, his boy Ascanius, his silly King Latinus, his ill-bred Amata, his insipid Lavinia, and some other characters much in the same strain, I think there cannot be in nature anything more flat and disagreeable. I must confess, I much prefer Tasso to him; nay, even that sleepy tale-teller Ariosto."

"Well, I admit," Pococurante replied, "that the second, third, fourth, and sixth books of his Æneid are great; but when it comes to his devout Æneas, his strong Cloanthus, his loyal Achates, his young Ascanius, his foolish King Latinus, his rude Amata, his bland Lavinia, and some other characters like them, I believe there’s nothing more dull and unpleasant in nature. I have to say, I much prefer Tasso over him; in fact, I even like that dull storyteller Ariosto better."

"May I take the liberty to ask if you do not receive great pleasure from reading Horace?" said Candide.

"Can I ask if you don’t find great enjoyment in reading Horace?" said Candide.

"There are maxims in this writer," replied Pococurante, "from whence a man of the world may reap some benefit; and the short measure of the verse makes them more easy to retain in the memory. But I see nothing extraordinary in his journey to Brundusium, and his account of his bad dinner; nor in his dirty low quarrel between one Rupilius, whose words, as he expresses it, were full of poisonous filth; and another, whose language was dipped in vinegar. His indelicate verses against old women and witches have frequently given me great offense; nor can I discover the great merit of his telling his friend Mecænas, that if he will but rank him in the class of lyric poets, his lofty head shall touch the stars. Ignorant readers are apt to praise everything by the lump in a writer of reputation. For my part, I read only to please myself. I like nothing but that which makes for my purpose."

"There are wise sayings in this writer," Pococurante replied, "that a worldly person can benefit from; and the short length of the verses makes them easier to remember. But I find nothing remarkable about his trip to Brundusium or his story of a bad dinner; nor do I care for his petty argument between a guy named Rupilius, who he says spoke with poisonous words, and another whose language was sharp like vinegar. His crude verses about old women and witches have often offended me; and I can't see the value in him telling his friend Mecænas that if he ranks him among lyric poets, his lofty head will touch the stars. Uninformed readers tend to praise everything that comes from a well-known writer without thinking. As for me, I read just to please myself. I only like what serves my own purpose."

Candide, who had been brought up with a notion of never making use of his own judgment, was astonished at what he had heard; but Martin found there was a good deal of reason in the senator's remarks.

Candide, who was raised to never rely on his own judgment, was shocked by what he had heard; but Martin recognized that there was a lot of sense in the senator's comments.

"O! here is a Tully," said Candide: "this great man, I fancy, you are never tired of reading?"

"O! here's a Tully," said Candide. "I bet you never get tired of reading this great man?"

"Indeed, I never read him at all," replied Pococurante. "What is it to me whether he pleads for Rabirius or Cluentius? I try causes enough myself. I had once some liking for his philosophical works; but when I found he doubted of everything, I thought I knew as much as himself, and had no need of a guide to learn ignorance.

"Honestly, I never read him at all," Pococurante replied. "What do I care if he defends Rabirius or Cluentius? I deal with enough cases myself. I used to like his philosophical works; but when I realized he questioned everything, I figured I knew just as much as he did, and didn't need a guide to learn about ignorance.

"Ha!" cried Martin, "here are fourscore volumes of the Memoirs of the Academy of Sciences. Perhaps there may be something curious and valuable in this collection."

"Ha!" shouted Martin, "here are eighty volumes of the Memoirs of the Academy of Sciences. Maybe there's something interesting and worthwhile in this collection."

"Yes," answered Pococurante, "so there might, if any one of these compilers of this rubbish had only invented the art of pin-making; but all these volumes are filled with mere chimerical systems, without one single article conducive to real utility."

"Yeah," replied Pococurante, "there could be, if any of these writers of this nonsense had just come up with the art of pin-making; but all these books are packed with nothing but imaginary ideas, without a single item that actually serves a useful purpose."

"I see a prodigious number of plays," said Candide, "in Italian, Spanish, and French."

"I watch a ton of plays," said Candide, "in Italian, Spanish, and French."

"Yes," replied the Venetian, "there are, I think, three thousand, and not three dozen of them good for anything. As to these huge volumes of divinity, and those enormous collections of sermons, they are not altogether worth one single page in Seneca; and I fancy you will readily believe that neither myself, nor any one else, ever looks into them."

"Yeah," replied the Venetian, "I think there are about three thousand, but only a few dozen of them are actually useful. As for those huge volumes of theology and those massive collections of sermons, they aren't worth even a single page of Seneca; and I'm sure you'll easily believe that neither I nor anyone else ever bothers to read them."

Martin, perceiving some shelves filled with English books, said to the senator:

Martin, noticing some shelves stocked with English books, said to the senator:

"I fancy that a republican must be highly delighted with those books, which are most of them written with a noble spirit of freedom."

"I think a republican would be really pleased with those books, most of which are written with a noble spirit of freedom."

"It is noble to write as we think," said Pococurante; "it is the privilege of humanity. Throughout Italy we write only what we do not think; and the present inhabitants of the country of the Cæsars and Antoninuses dare not acquire a single idea without the permission of a father dominican. I should be enamoured of the spirit of the English nation, did it not utterly frustrate the good effects it would produce, by passion and the spirit of party."

"It’s admirable to write what we truly believe," said Pococurante; "it’s a human right. Across Italy, we only write what we don’t believe; and the current people of the land of the Caesars and Antoninuses won’t dare to form an idea without getting the okay from a Dominican friar. I would be in love with the spirit of the English nation, if it didn’t completely undermine the positive outcomes it could have, through passion and party politics."

Candide, seeing a Milton, asked the senator if he did not think that author a great man?

Candide, spotting a Milton, asked the senator if he didn’t think that author was a great man.

"Who?" said Pococurante, sharply; "that barbarian who writes a tedious commentary in ten books of rambling verse on the first chapter of Genesis? that slovenly imitator of the Greeks, who disfigures the creation by making the Messiah take a pair of compasses from heaven's armory to plan the world; whereas Moses represented the Deity as producing the whole universe by his fiat? Can I, think you, have any esteem for a writer who has spoiled Tasso's hell and the devil? who transforms Lucifer sometimes into a toad, and at others, into a pigmy? who makes him say the same thing over again an hundred times? who metamorphoses him into a school-divine? and who, by an absurdly serious imitation of Ariosto's comic invention of fire-arms, represents the devils and angels cannonading each other in heaven? Neither I nor any other Italian can possibly take pleasure in such melancholy reveries; but the marriage of sin and death, and snakes issuing from the womb of the former, are enough to make any person sick that is not lost to all sense of delicacy. This obscene, whimsical, and disagreeable poem, met with the neglect it deserved at its first publication; and I only treat the author now as he was treated in his own country by his contemporaries."

"Who?" Pococurante exclaimed sharply. "That barbarian who writes a boring commentary in ten books of meandering verse on the first chapter of Genesis? That sloppy imitator of the Greeks, who messes up the creation by having the Messiah take a pair of compasses from heaven's armory to design the world; while Moses portrayed the Deity as creating the entire universe with His command? Do you seriously think I could have any respect for a writer who ruined Tasso's hell and the devil? Who sometimes turns Lucifer into a toad and at other times into a dwarf? Who makes him repeat the same thing a hundred times? Who transforms him into a school theologian? And who, with a ridiculously serious imitation of Ariosto's comedic invention of firearms, shows devils and angels bombarding each other in heaven? Neither I nor any other Italian could possibly enjoy such gloomy fantasies; but the marriage of sin and death, with snakes coming from the womb of the former, is enough to make anyone who isn't completely devoid of taste feel nauseous. This obscene, bizarre, and unpleasant poem received the neglect it deserved when it was first published; and I only treat the author now as he was treated in his own country by his contemporaries."

Candide was sensibly grieved at this speech, as he had a great respect for Homer, and was very fond of Milton.

Candide was understandably upset by this statement since he had a lot of respect for Homer and was quite fond of Milton.

"Alas!" said he softly to Martin, "I am afraid this man holds our German poets in great contempt."

"Unfortunately," he said quietly to Martin, "I'm afraid this guy has a lot of disrespect for our German poets."

"There would be no such great harm in that," said Martin.

"There wouldn't be any serious harm in that," said Martin.

"O, what a surprising man!" said Candide still to himself; "what a genius is this Pococurante! nothing can please him."

"O, what a surprising guy!" said Candide to himself; "what a genius this Pococurante is! Nothing can make him happy."

After finishing their survey of the library, they went down into the garden, when Candide commended the several beauties that offered themselves to his view.

After they finished exploring the library, they went down to the garden, where Candide admired the various beauties that caught his eye.

"I know nothing upon earth laid out in such bad taste," said Pococurante; "everything about it is childish and trifling; but I shall soon have another laid out upon a nobler plan."

"I know nothing on earth designed in such poor taste," said Pococurante. "Everything about it is childish and trivial; but I’ll soon have another one made with a much better design."

"Well," said Candide to Martin, as soon as our two travelers had taken leave of his excellency: "I hope you will own, that this man is the happiest of all mortals, for he is above everything he possesses."

"Well," said Candide to Martin, as soon as our two travelers had said goodbye to his excellency: "I hope you will agree that this man is the happiest of all people, because he is above everything he has."

"But do you not see," said Martin, "that he likewise dislikes everything he possesses? It was an observation of Plato, long since, that those are not the best stomachs that reject, without distinction, all sorts of aliments."

"But don't you see," said Martin, "that he also dislikes everything he owns? Plato noted a long time ago that those aren't the best stomachs that reject all kinds of food without thinking."

"True," said Candide; "but still there must certainly be a pleasure in criticising everything, and in perceiving faults where others think they see beauties."

"That's true," said Candide; "but there definitely has to be some enjoyment in criticizing everything and noticing flaws where others see beauty."

"That is," replied Martin, "there is a pleasure in having no pleasure."

"That is," Martin replied, "there's a satisfaction in having no satisfaction."


The "yawning oysters" discovered by Pythagoras. The "yawning oysters" found by Pythagoras.

AN ADVENTURE IN INDIA.

All the world knows that Pythagoras, while he resided in India, attended the school of the Gymnosophists, and learned the language of beasts and plants.[1] One day, while he was walking in a meadow near the seashore, he heard these words:

All the world knows that Pythagoras, when he lived in India, studied at the school of the Gymnosophists and learned the language of animals and plants.[1] One day, while he was walking in a meadow by the sea, he heard these words:

"How unfortunate that I was born an herb! I scarcely attain two inches in height, when a voracious monster, an horrid animal, tramples me under his large feet; his jaws are armed with rows of sharp scythes, by which he cuts, then grinds, and then swallows me. Men call this monster a sheep. I do not suppose there is in the whole creation a more detestable creature."

"How unfortunate that I was born a plant! I barely reach two inches in height when a greedy monster, a horrible creature, tramples me under its large feet; its jaws are lined with rows of sharp teeth that cut, then grind, and then swallow me. People call this monster a sheep. I can't imagine there's a more despicable creature in all of existence."

Pythagoras proceeded a little way and found an oyster yawning on a small rock. He had not yet adopted that admirable law, by which we are enjoined not to eat those animals which have a resemblance to us.[2] He had scarcely taken up the oyster to swallow it, when it spoke these affecting words:

Pythagoras walked a bit further and found an oyster open on a small rock. He hadn't yet followed that great principle that advises us not to eat animals that resemble us.[2] He had barely picked up the oyster to eat it when it spoke these touching words:

"O, Nature, how happy is the herb, which is, as I am, thy work! though it be cut down, it is regenerated and immortal; and we, poor oysters, in vain are defended by a double cuirass: villains eat us by dozens at their breakfast, and all is over with us forever. What an horrible fate is that of an oyster, and how barbarous are men!"

"O, Nature, how happy is the herb, which is, like me, your creation! Even when it’s cut down, it grows back and is immortal; but we, poor oysters, uselessly protected by a double shell: villains devour us by the dozens at breakfast, and it’s all over for us forever. What a horrible fate for an oyster, and how cruel humans are!"

Pythagoras shuddered; he felt the enormity of the crime he had nearly committed; he begged pardon of the oyster with tears in his eyes, and replaced it very carefully on the rock.

Pythagoras shuddered; he felt the weight of the crime he had almost committed; he apologized to the oyster with tears in his eyes and gently placed it back on the rock.

As he was returning to the city, profoundly meditating on this adventure, he saw spiders devouring flies; swallows eating spiders, and sparrow-hawks eating swallows. "None of these," said he, "are philosophers."

As he was heading back to the city, deeply thinking about this adventure, he saw spiders eating flies, swallows eating spiders, and sparrow-hawks eating swallows. "None of these," he said, "are philosophers."

On his entrance, Pythagoras was stunned, bruised, and thrown down by a lot of tatterdemalions, who were running and crying: "Well done, he fully deserved it." "Who? What?" said Pythagoras, as he was getting up. The people continued running and crying: "O how delightful it will be to see them boiled!"

On his entrance, Pythagoras was shocked, hurt, and knocked down by a group of ragtag people, who were running around and shouting: "Great job, he totally deserved it." "Who? What?" asked Pythagoras, as he got back on his feet. The crowd kept running and yelling: "Oh, how amazing it will be to see them boiled!"

Pythagoras supposed they meant lentiles, or some other vegetables: but he was in an error; they meant two poor Indians. "Oh!" said Pythagoras, "these Indians, without doubt, are two great philosophers weary of their lives, they are desirous of regenerating under other forms; it affords pleasure to a man to change his place of residence, though he may be but indifferently lodged: there is no disputing on taste."[3]

Pythagoras thought they were talking about lentils or some other vegetables, but he was mistaken; they were referring to two poor Indians. "Oh!" said Pythagoras, "these Indians must be two great philosophers tired of their lives, wanting to be reborn in different forms; it's pleasurable for a person to change their place of residence, even if their accommodations aren't great: taste is subjective."[3]

He proceeded with the mob to the public square, where he perceived a lighted pile of wood, and a bench opposite to it, which was called a tribunal. On this bench judges were seated, each of whom had a cow's tail in his hand, and a cap on his head, with ears resembling those of the animal which bore Silenus when he came into that country with Bacchus, after having crossed the Erytrean sea without wetting a foot, and stopping the sun and moon; as it is recorded with great fidelity in the Orphicks.

He went with the crowd to the town square, where he saw a lit pile of wood and a bench across from it, known as a tribunal. On this bench sat judges, each holding a cow's tail in one hand and wearing a cap on their head that had ears like the animal Silenus rode when he came to this land with Bacchus, after crossing the Erytrean sea without getting wet, and halting the sun and moon; as faithfully recorded in the Orphics.

Among these judges there was an honest man with whom Pythagoras was acquainted. The Indian sage explained to the sage of Samos the nature of that festival to be given to the people of India.

Among these judges, there was an honest man who knew Pythagoras. The Indian sage explained to the sage from Samos the nature of the festival that was to be held for the people of India.

"These two Indians," said he, "have not the least desire to be committed to the flames. My grave brethren have adjudged them to be burnt; one for saying, that the substance of Xaca is not that of Brahma; and the other for supposing, that the approbation of the Supreme Being was to be obtained at the point of death without holding a cow by the tail; 'Because,' said he, 'we may be virtuous at all times, and we cannot always have a cow to lay hold of just when we may have occasion.' The good women of the city were greatly terrified at two such heretical opinions; they would not allow the judges a moment's peace until they had ordered the execution of those unfortunate men."

"These two Indians," he said, "have no desire to be set on fire. My serious colleagues have decided they should be burned; one for claiming that the essence of Xaca isn’t that of Brahma, and the other for believing that one can get the approval of the Supreme Being at the moment of death without having to hold a cow by the tail. 'Because,' he said, 'we can be virtuous at any time, and we can't always have a cow to grab onto when we need it.' The good women of the city were very upset by these two heretical views; they wouldn’t let the judges rest until they ordered the execution of those unfortunate men."

Pythagoras was convinced that from the herb up to man, there were many causes of chagrin. However, he obliged the judges and even the devotees to listen to reason, which happened only at that time.

Pythagoras believed that from plants to people, there were many reasons for disappointment. However, he persuaded the judges and even the followers to consider logic, which only occurred at that moment.

He went afterwards and preached toleration at Crotona; but a bigot set fire to his house, and he was burnt—the man who had delivered the two Hindoos from the flames? Let those save themselves who can![4]

He went on to preach tolerance in Crotona, but a bigot burned down his house, and he was killed in the fire—the man who had saved the two Hindus from the flames? Let those who can, save themselves![4]

[1] Perhaps it would be impossible at the present day to convince scientists that oysters formerly conversed intelligibly with mankind and protested eloquently against human injustice; but all men are not scientists, and there are many worthy people who still have implicit faith in ancient Semitic records—who firmly believe in miracles and prodigies—and who would consider it rank heresy to doubt that the serpent, though now as mute as an oyster, formerly held a very animated conversation, in the original Edenic language, with the inexperienced and confiding female who then graced with her charming presence the bowers of Paradise; and this sacred narrative of the "maiden and the reptile" is quite as repugnant to modern science as the sentimental fish story of "Pythagoras and the oyster".

[1] It might be impossible today to persuade scientists that oysters once communicated clearly with humans and spoke out passionately against injustice; however, not everyone is a scientist, and many good people still have unwavering faith in ancient Semitic texts—who truly believe in miracles and wonders—and who would view it as a serious offense to doubt that the serpent, though now as silent as an oyster, once had a lively conversation, in the original language of Eden, with the naive and trusting woman who graced the gardens of Paradise with her beauty; and this sacred tale of the "maiden and the serpent" is just as unappealing to modern science as the sentimental fish story of "Pythagoras and the oyster."

As a matter of fact, the doctrine of the metempsichosis, as taught by the Samian sage, was formerly held in great repute by the most civilized nations of antiquity, and it is surely as easy to credit the assertion of our author, that the ancient Gymnosophists "had learned the language of beasts and plants" as to believe the unquestioned and orthodox statement that a certain quadruped, (Asinus vulgaris,) —whose romantic history is recorded in the twenty-second chapter of Numbers,—was once upon a time able to converse in very good Hebrew with Monsieur Balaam, an ancient prophet of great merit and renown.—E.

In fact, the idea of metempsychosis, as taught by the Samian sage, was once widely respected by the most advanced civilizations of ancient times. It's just as believable to accept our author's claim that the ancient Gymnosophists "had learned the language of beasts and plants" as it is to trust the accepted and traditional belief that a certain four-legged creature, (Asinus vulgaris), —whose intriguing story is told in the twenty-second chapter of Numbers,—was once able to speak fluent Hebrew with Mr. Balaam, an ancient prophet of notable skill and reputation.—E.

[2] The resemblance of oysters to mankind, here implied, can only be apparent to the "eye of faith," and lovers of these delicious bivalves will fail to recognize the family likeness.—E.

[2] The comparison between oysters and humans, as suggested here, can only be seen by those who believe, and fans of these tasty shellfish won't see the family resemblance.—E.

[3] Pythagoras was born at Samos, about 590 years before the Christian era. He received an education well calculated to enlighten his mind and invigorate his body. He studied poetry, music, eloquence and astronomy, and became so proficient in gymnastic exercises, that in his eighteenth year he won the prize for wrestling at the Olympic games. He then visited Egypt and Chaldea, and gaining the confidence of the priests, learned from them the artful policy by which they governed the people. On his return to Samos he was saluted by the name of Sophist, or wise man, but he declined the name, and was satisfied with that of philosopher, or the friend of wisdom. He ultimately fixed his residence in Magna Græcia, in the town of Crotona, where he founded the school called the Italian.

[3] Pythagoras was born in Samos around 590 BC. He received an education that was designed to enlighten his mind and strengthen his body. He studied poetry, music, rhetoric, and astronomy, and became so skilled in physical training that he won the wrestling prize at the Olympic games when he was eighteen. He then traveled to Egypt and Chaldea, where he gained the trust of the priests and learned the clever strategies they used to govern the people. When he returned to Samos, people started calling him Sophist, or wise man, but he rejected this title and preferred to be known as a philosopher, meaning friend of wisdom. He eventually settled in Magna Græcia, in the town of Crotona, where he established the school known as the Italian.

This school became very prosperous, and hundreds of pupils received the secret instructions of Pythagoras, who taught by the use of ciphers or numbers, and hieroglyphic writings. His pupils were thus enabled to correspond together in unknown characters; and, by the signs and words employed, they could discover among strangers those who had been educated in the Pythagorean school. All the pupils of the philosopher greatly reverenced their teacher, and deemed it a crime to dispute his word. One of their expressions "thus saith the Master," has been adopted by modern sects.

This school became very successful, and hundreds of students learned the secret teachings of Pythagoras, who taught using codes or numbers and symbolic writing. His students were able to communicate with each other in unknown symbols; and through the signs and words they used, they could identify among strangers those who had studied in the Pythagorean school. All the students of the philosopher highly respected their teacher and considered it wrong to question his word. One of their sayings, "thus saith the Master," has been taken up by modern groups.

The Samian sage taught the doctrine of the metempsichosis, or the transmigration of the soul into different bodies, which he had probably learned from the Brahmins; who believed that, in these various peregrinations, the soul or thinking principle was purged from all evil, and was ultimately absorbed into the Divine substance from which it was supposed to have emanated.

The Samian philosopher taught the idea of metempsychosis, or the transmigration of the soul into different bodies, which he likely learned from the Brahmins; who believed that, during these various journeys, the soul or thinking principle was cleansed of all evil and ultimately merged back into the Divine essence from which it was thought to have come.

Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis cites authorities to prove that the doctrine of the metempsichosis was held by "many of the early fathers of the Christians, which they defended on several texts of the New Testament. It was held by Origin, Calcidius, Synesius, and by the Simonians, Basilidians, Valentiniens, Marcionites, and the Gnostics in general. It was also held by the Pharisees among the Jews, and by the most learned of the Greeks, and by many Chinese, Hindoos and Indians.

Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis cites sources to show that the belief in metempsychosis was supported by "many of the early church fathers, which they defended using various passages from the New Testament. It was endorsed by Origen, Calcidius, Synesius, as well as the Simonians, Basilidians, Valentinians, Marcionites, and Gnostics overall. This belief was also embraced by the Pharisees among the Jews, the most educated Greeks, and many people from China, India, and Hindu cultures."

"When all the circumstances relating to Pythagoras and to his doctrines, both in moral and natural philosophy, are considered," continues Higgins, "nothing can be more striking than the exact conformity of the latter to the received opinions of the moderns, and of the former to the moral doctrines of Jesus Christ."

"When all the circumstances surrounding Pythagoras and his teachings, both in moral and natural philosophy, are taken into account," Higgins continues, "nothing is more striking than how closely the latter aligns with the beliefs held by modern thinkers, and how the former corresponds with the moral teachings of Jesus Christ."

"The pupils of Pythagoras," says Eschenburg, Manual of Classical Literature, "soon amounted to 600, dwelt in one public building, and held their property in common. Under philosophy, the Italic school included every object of human knowledge. But Pythagoras considered music and astronomy of special value. He is supposed to have had some very correct views of astronomy, agreeing with the true Copernican system. The beautiful fancy of the music of the spheres is attributed to him. The planets striking on the ether, through which they pass, must produce a sound; this must vary according to their different magnitudes, velocities, and relative distances; these differences were all adjusted with perfect regularity and exact proportions, so that the movements of the bodies produced the richest tones of harmony; not heard, however, by mortal ears."

"The students of Pythagoras," says Eschenburg, Manual of Classical Literature, "quickly grew to 600, lived in a single community building, and shared their possessions. Within philosophy, the Italic school encompassed every aspect of human knowledge. However, Pythagoras placed particular importance on music and astronomy. He's believed to have had very accurate views on astronomy that aligned with the true Copernican system. The beautiful idea of the music of the spheres is attributed to him. The planets, moving through the ether, must create a sound; this sound varies according to their different sizes, speeds, and distances from each other; these variations were all perfectly regulated and proportionate, so the movements of these bodies produced the most harmonious tones, though not audible to human ears."

Pythagoras taught, and his followers maintained, the absolute equality of property, "all their worldly possessions being brought into a common store". The early Christians had also "all things in common," and the doctrines of Jesus and Pythagoras have many points of resemblance. Both were reformers, both sought to benefit the poor and the oppressed, both taught and practised the doctrines now known as Communism, and both, for their love to the human race, suffered a cruel martyrdom from an orthodox and vindictive priesthood.

Pythagoras taught, and his followers believed, in total equality of property, with "all their worldly possessions being put into a shared pool." The early Christians also had "everything in common," and the teachings of Jesus and Pythagoras share many similarities. Both were reformers who aimed to help the poor and oppressed, both taught and practiced ideas now associated with Communism, and both suffered a brutal martyrdom at the hands of an orthodox and vengeful priesthood due to their love for humanity.

In obedience to an oracle, the Romans, long after the death of Pythagoras, erected a statue to his memory as the wisest of mankind.—E.

In accordance with an oracle, the Romans, many years after Pythagoras had died, built a statue in his honor as the smartest person ever.—E.

[4] Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis draws aside the veil of Isis, and explains in a satisfactory manner the reason why Pythagoras, like Socrates and Jesus, was condemned to death by the established priesthood. Each of these great reformers had been initiated into the sacred mysteries, and each taught his followers by secret symbols or parables that contained a hidden meaning; so "that seeing the uninitiated might see and not perceive, and hearing might hear and not understand." The reason that Jesus gave for following this method was "because it is given unto you (i.e. the initiated) to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them (i.e. the people) it is not given." (Matt. XIII: II.) The mass of mankind, being excluded from this secret knowledge, were kept in a state of debasement as compared with the favored few who were acquainted with the jealously guarded secrets of the Cabala; and the earnest desire of these great reformers—of these noble men who cheerfully gave their lives to benefit their race—was, without divulging the secrets of their initiation, to teach mankind to partake of the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge, and to learn "that a virtuous life would secure eternal happiness." Such philanthropic doctrines were denounced as wicked and heretical by the orthodox priesthood, who instinctively oppose human progress, and who, like the silversmith of Ephesus, described by St. Paul, felt that "this our craft is in danger" should the people become enlightened. They therefore, excited a popular clamor, and aroused the worst passions and prejudices of their followers; who, inspired with fanatic zeal, cruelly and wickedly burned Pythagoras of Crotona, poisoned Socrates of Athens, and crucified Jesus of Nazareth.—E.

[4] Godfrey Higgins in the Anacalypsis lifts the veil of Isis and clearly explains why Pythagoras, like Socrates and Jesus, was sentenced to death by the established priesthood. Each of these influential reformers had been initiated into the sacred mysteries and communicated with their followers through secret symbols or parables that carried deeper meanings; so "that seeing the uninitiated might see and not perceive, and hearing might hear and not understand." Jesus explained his approach by saying, "because it is given unto you (i.e. the initiated) to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them (i.e. the people) it is not given." (Matt. XIII: II.) The majority of people, being excluded from this hidden knowledge, were kept in a state of ignorance compared to the select few who knew the closely guarded secrets of the Cabala. The sincere aspiration of these great reformers—these noble individuals who willingly sacrificed their lives for the good of humanity—was to teach people to access the forbidden fruit of knowledge without revealing the secrets of their initiation and to learn "that a virtuous life would bring eternal happiness." Such benevolent teachings were condemned as evil and heretical by the orthodox priesthood, who instinctively resisted human advancement. Like the silversmith of Ephesus described by St. Paul, they felt that "this our craft is in danger" should the public become enlightened. Consequently, they stirred up public outrage and incited the worst passions and biases in their followers, who, fueled by fanaticism, cruelly and unjustly burned Pythagoras of Crotona, poisoned Socrates of Athens, and crucified Jesus of Nazareth.—E.


The school at Issoire. Issoire School.

JEANNOT AND COLIN.

Many persons, worthy of credit, have seen Jeannot and Colin at school in the town of Issoire, in Auvergne, France,—a town famous all over the world for its college and its caldrons.

Many credible people have seen Jeannot and Colin at school in the town of Issoire, in Auvergne, France—a town known worldwide for its college and its cauldrons.

Jeannot was the son of a dealer in mules of great reputation; and Colin owed his birth to a good substantial farmer in the neighborhood, who cultivated the land with four mules; and who, after he had paid all taxes and duties at the rate of a sol per pound, was not very rich at the year's end.

Jeannot was the son of a well-known mule dealer, and Colin was born to a solid farmer nearby who worked the land with four mules. After paying all taxes and fees at a rate of one sol per pound, he wasn't very wealthy by the end of the year.

Jeannot and Colin were very handsome, considering they were natives of Auvergne; they dearly loved each other. They had many enjoyments in common, and certain little adventures of such a nature as men always recollect with pleasure when they afterwards meet in the world.

Jeannot and Colin were quite good-looking, especially for guys from Auvergne; they cared for each other deeply. They shared many fun experiences and had little adventures that men always remember fondly when they run into each other later in life.

Their studies were nearly finished, when a tailor brought Jeannot a velvet suit of three colors, with a waistcoat from Lyons, which was extremely well fancied. With these came a letter addressed to Monsieur de la Jeannotière.

Their studies were almost done when a tailor brought Jeannot a three-colored velvet suit, along with a waistcoat from Lyons that was really nice. Along with these, there was a letter addressed to Monsieur de la Jeannotière.

Colin admired the coat, and was not at all jealous; but Jeannot assumed an air of superiority, which gave Colin some uneasiness. From that moment Jeannot abandoned his studies; he contemplated himself in a glass, and despised all mankind.

Colin admired the coat and didn’t feel jealous at all; however, Jeannot adopted an attitude of superiority that made Colin a bit uneasy. From that point on, Jeannot stopped his studies; he spent time admiring himself in a mirror and looked down on everyone else.

Soon after, a valet-de-chambre arrived post-haste, and brought a second letter to the Marquis de la Jeannotière; it was an order from his father, who desired the young marquis to repair immediately to Paris. Jeannot got into his chaise, giving his hand to Colin with a smile, which denoted the superiority of a patron. Colin felt his littleness, and wept. Jeannot departed in all the pomp of his glory.

Soon after, a personal attendant rushed in with a second letter for the Marquis de la Jeannotière; it was a message from his father, instructing the young marquis to head to Paris immediately. Jeannot climbed into his carriage, shaking hands with Colin and smiling in a way that showed his status as a benefactor. Colin felt small and cried. Jeannot left in all his glorious splendor.

Such readers as take a pleasure in being instructed should be informed that Monsieur Jeannot the father, had, with great rapidity, acquired an immense fortune by business. You will ask how such great fortunes are made? My answer is, by luck. Monsieur Jeannot had a good person, so had his wife; and she had still some freshness remaining. They went to Paris on account of a law-suit, which ruined them; when fortune, which raises and depresses men at her pleasure, presented them to the wife of an undertaker belonging to one of the hospitals for the army. This undertaker, a man of great talents, might make it his boast, that he had buried more soldiers in a year than cannons destroy in ten. Jeannot pleased the wife; the wife of Jeannot interested the undertaker. Jeannot was employed in the undertaker's business; this introduced him to other business. When our boat runs with wind and stream, we have nothing to do but let it sail on. We then make an immense fortune with ease. The poor creatures who from the shore see you pursue your voyage with full sail, stare with astonishment; they cannot conceive to what you owe your success; they envy you instinctively, and write pamphlets against you which you never read.

Readers who enjoy learning should know that Monsieur Jeannot the father quickly built an enormous fortune through business. You might wonder how such huge fortunes are made? My answer is, by luck. Monsieur Jeannot was an appealing man, and so was his wife; she still had some freshness to her. They went to Paris because of a lawsuit that ended up ruining them; then fortune, which lifts and drops people at will, introduced them to the wife of an undertaker working for one of the military hospitals. This undertaker was quite talented; he could boast that he had buried more soldiers in a year than cannons could destroy in ten. Jeannot charmed the wife, and the wife of Jeannot caught the interest of the undertaker. Jeannot got involved in the undertaker's business, which led him to other opportunities. When our boat moves smoothly with the wind and current, all we have to do is let it sail on. We can then accumulate a vast fortune effortlessly. The poor souls on the shore watching you glide through your journey with full sail stare in amazement; they can’t fathom what brought you such success; they instinctively envy you and write pamphlets against you that you never read.

This is just what happened to Jeannot the father, who soon became Monsieur de la Jeannotière; and who having purchased a marquisate in six months time, took the young marquis, his son, from school, in order to introduce him to the polite world at Paris.

This is exactly what happened to Jeannot the father, who quickly became Monsieur de la Jeannotière; and who, after buying a marquisate in six months, took his son, the young marquis, out of school to introduce him to high society in Paris.

Colin, whose heart was replete with tenderness, wrote a letter of compliments to his old companion, and congratulated him on his good fortune. The little marquis did not reply. Colin was so much affected at this neglect that he was taken ill.

Colin, whose heart was filled with kindness, wrote a letter praising his old friend and congratulating him on his good luck. The little marquis did not respond. Colin was so upset by this neglect that he fell ill.

The father and mother immediately consigned the young marquis to the care of a governor. This governor, who was a man of fashion, and who knew nothing, was not able to teach his pupil anything.

The father and mother immediately entrusted the young marquis to the care of a tutor. This tutor, who was a fashionable man and knew nothing, was unable to teach his student anything.

The marquis would have had his son learn Latin; this his lady opposed. They then referred the matter to the judgment of an author, who had at that time acquired great reputation by his entertaining writings. This author was invited to dinner. The master of the house immediately addressed him thus:

The marquis wanted his son to learn Latin, but his wife disagreed. They decided to let a well-known author, famous for his entertaining writings, make the final call on the matter. This author was invited to dinner. The host immediately spoke to him like this:

"Sir, as you understand Latin, and are a man acquainted with the court,—"

"Sir, since you know Latin and are familiar with the court—"

"I understand Latin! I don't know one word of it," answered the wit, "and I think myself the better for being unacquainted with it. It is very evident that a man speaks his own language in greater perfection when he does not divide his application between it and foreign languages. Only consider our ladies; they have a much more agreeable turn of wit than the men, their letters are written with a hundred times the grace of ours. This superiority they owe to nothing else but their not understanding Latin."

"I understand Latin! I don't know a single word of it," replied the witty one, "and I believe I'm better off not knowing it. It's clear that a person speaks their own language more effectively when they aren’t splitting their focus with foreign languages. Just look at our ladies; they have a much more pleasant sense of humor than the men, and their letters are written with a hundred times the elegance of ours. This advantage comes purely from their lack of knowledge in Latin."

"Well, was I not in the right?" said the lady. "I would have my son prove a notable man, I would have him succeed in the world; and you see that if he was to understand Latin he would be ruined. Pray, are plays and operas performed in Latin? Do lawyers plead in Latin? Do men court a mistress in Latin?"

"Well, was I not right?" said the lady. "I want my son to be an impressive man; I want him to succeed in life. And you see, if he understands Latin, it would be a disaster. Please, are plays and operas performed in Latin? Do lawyers argue in Latin? Do men woo a woman in Latin?"

The marquis, dazzled by these reasons, gave up the point, and it was resolved, that the young marquis should not misspend his time in endeavoring to become acquainted with Cicero, Horace and Virgil.

The marquis, impressed by these arguments, conceded the point, and it was decided that the young marquis should not waste his time trying to get to know Cicero, Horace, and Virgil.

"Then," said the father, "what shall he learn? For he must know something. Might not one teach him a little geography?"

"Then," said the father, "what should he learn? He has to know something. Could we teach him a bit of geography?"

"Of what use will that be?" answered the governor. "When the marquis goes to his estate, won't the postillion know the roads? They certainly will not carry him out of his way. There is no occasion for a quadrant to travel thither; and one can go very commodiously from Paris to Auvergne without knowing what latitude one is in."

"What's the point of that?" replied the governor. "When the marquis heads to his estate, won't the driver know the roads? They definitely won't take him off course. There's no need for a quadrant to travel there; you can easily get from Paris to Auvergne without knowing what latitude you're in."

"You are in the right," replied the father; "but I have heard of a science, called astronomy, if I am not mistaken."

"You are right," replied the father; "but I've heard of a science called astronomy, if I'm not mistaken."

"Bless me!" said the governor, "do people regulate their conduct by the influence of the stars in this world? And must the young gentleman perplex himself with the calculation of an eclipse, when he finds it ready calculated to his hand in an almanac, which, at the same time, shows him the movable feasts, the age of the moon, and also that of all the princesses in Europe?"

"Bless me!" said the governor, "do people really base their actions on the influence of the stars in this world? And does the young gentleman really have to stress over calculating an eclipse when it's already done for him in an almanac, which also shows him the movable feasts, the age of the moon, and the ages of all the princesses in Europe?"

The lady agreed perfectly with the governor; the little marquis was transported with joy; the father remained undetermined. "What then is my son to learn?" said he.

The lady completely agreed with the governor; the little marquis was overjoyed; the father remained uncertain. "So what is my son supposed to learn?" he asked.

"To become amiable," answered the friend who was consulted, "and if he knows how to please, he will know all that need be known. This art he will learn in the company of his mother, without either he or she being at any trouble."

"To be friendly," replied the consulted friend, "and if he knows how to make others happy, he will know everything he needs to know. He'll learn this skill while spending time with his mother, without either of them having to put in much effort."

The lady, upon hearing this, embraced the ignorant flatterer, and said: "It is easy to see, sir, that you are the wisest man in the world. My son will be entirely indebted to you for his education. I think, however, it would not be amiss if he was to know something of history."

The woman, after hearing this, hugged the clueless flatterer and said: "It’s obvious, sir, that you are the smartest person in the world. My son will owe you everything for his education. I think, though, it wouldn’t hurt for him to learn a bit of history."

"Alas, madam, what is that good for," answered he; "there certainly is no useful or entertaining history but the history of the day; all ancient histories, as one of our wits has observed, are only fables that men have agreed to admit as true. With regard to modern history, it is a mere chaos, a confusion which it is impossible to make anything of. Of what consequence is it to the young marquis, your son, to know that Charlemagne instituted the twelve peers of France, and that his successor stammered?"

"Well, ma'am, what’s the point of that?" he replied. "There really isn’t any useful or entertaining history except for the history of the day; all ancient histories, as one of our clever people has pointed out, are just fables that everyone has agreed to accept as true. As for modern history, it’s just a mess, a confusion that’s impossible to make any sense of. What does it matter to your son, the young marquis, to know that Charlemagne set up the twelve peers of France and that his successor had a speech impediment?"

"Admirably said," cried the governor; "the genius of young persons is smothered under a heap of useless knowledge; but of all sciences, the most absurd, and that which, in my opinion, is most calculated to stifle genius of every kind, is geometry. The objects about which this ridiculous science is conversant, are surfaces, lines, and points, that have no existence in nature. By the force of imagination, the geometrician makes a hundred thousand curved lines pass between a circle and a right line that touches it, when, in reality, there is not room for a straw to pass there. Geometry, if we consider it in its true light, is a mere jest, and nothing more."

"Well said," exclaimed the governor. "Young people's creativity gets buried under a pile of unnecessary knowledge; but out of all the subjects, the most ridiculous one, and the one that, in my view, is the most likely to stifle all kinds of creativity, is geometry. The things this silly subject deals with are surfaces, lines, and points that don’t actually exist in the real world. Thanks to imagination, the geometer conjures up countless curved lines between a circle and a tangent line, when in reality, there’s barely enough space for a straw to fit through. Geometry, when we look at it honestly, is just a joke and nothing more."

The marquis and his lady did not well understand the governor's meaning, yet they were entirely of his opinion.

The marquis and his wife didn’t quite grasp what the governor meant, but they completely agreed with him.

"A man of quality, like the young marquis," continued he, "should not rack his brains with useless sciences. If he should ever have occasion for a plan of the lands of his estate, he may have them correctly surveyed without studying geometry. If he has a mind to trace the antiquity of his noble family, which leads the inquirer back to the most remote ages, he will send for a Benedictine. It will be the same thing with regard to all other wants. A young man of quality, endowed with a happy genius, is neither a painter, a musician, an architect, nor a graver; but he makes all these arts flourish by generously encouraging them. It is, doubtless, better to patronize than to practice them. It is enough for the young marquis to have a taste; it is the business of artists to exert themselves for him; and it is in this sense that it is said very justly of people of quality, (I mean those who are very rich), that they know all things without having learnt anything; for they, in fact, come at last to know how to judge concerning whatever they order or pay for."

"A man of class, like the young marquis," he continued, "shouldn't waste his time on pointless subjects. If he ever needs a plan of his estate, he can have it surveyed accurately without needing to study geometry. If he wants to trace the history of his noble family, which can lead to very ancient times, he will call for a Benedictine monk. The same goes for any other needs. A young man of quality, gifted with a keen mind, is not a painter, musician, architect, or engraver; instead, he helps all these arts thrive by supporting them generously. It's definitely better to be a patron than to practice them. It's enough for the young marquis to have an appreciation for the arts; it's the artists' job to work hard for him. This is why it is rightly said of wealthy people (I mean those who are very rich) that they know everything without learning anything; because, in the end, they learn how to judge whatever they commission or pay for."

The ignorant man of fashion then spoke to this purpose:

The clueless trendsetter then said this:

"You have very justly observed, madam, that the grand end which a man should have in view is to succeed in the world. Can it possibly be said that this success is to be obtained by cultivating the sciences? Did anybody ever so much as think of talking of geometry in good company? Does anyone ever inquire of a man of the world, what star rises with the sun? Who enquires at supper, whether the long-haired Clodio passed the Rhine?"

"You've rightly pointed out, ma'am, that a man's main goal should be to succeed in life. Can we really say that this success comes from studying science? Has anyone ever brought up geometry in a social setting? Does anyone ever ask a worldly person what star rises with the sun? Who at dinner asks if the long-haired Clodio crossed the Rhine?"

"No, doubtless," cried the marchioness, whom her charms had in some measure initiated into the customs of the polite world; "and my son should not extinguish his genius by the study of all this stuff. But what is he, after all, to learn? for it is proper that a young person of quality should know how to shine upon an occasion, as my husband observes. I remember to have heard an abbé say, that the most delightful of all the sciences, is something that begins with a B."

"No, certainly," exclaimed the marchioness, whose charms had somewhat acquainted her with the customs of high society; "and my son shouldn’t stifle his talent by diving into all this nonsense. But what exactly is he supposed to learn? It’s important for someone of his status to know how to make an impression when the time comes, as my husband points out. I recall hearing an abbé say that the most enjoyable of all the sciences is something that starts with a B."

"With a B, madam? Is it not botany you mean?"

"With a B, ma'am? Don't you mean botany?"

"No, it was not botany he spoke of; the name of the science he mentioned began with B, and ended with on."

"No, it wasn't botany he was talking about; the name of the science he mentioned started with B and ended with on."

"Oh, I comprehend you, madam," said the man of fashion; "it is Blason you mean. It is indeed a profound science; but it is no longer in fashion, since the people of quality have ceased to cause their arms to be painted upon the doors of their coaches. It was once the most useful thing in the world, in a well regulated state. Besides, this study would be endless. Now-a-days there is hardly a barber that has not his coat of arms; and you know that whatever becomes common is but little esteemed."

"Oh, I understand you, ma'am," said the stylish man; "you mean Blason. It really is a deep science, but it’s not in style anymore since the high society stopped having their coats of arms painted on their carriages. It used to be incredibly useful in a well-ordered society. Plus, this study would go on forever. These days, hardly a barber doesn’t have his own coat of arms, and you know that anything that becomes common isn’t valued much."

In fine, after they had examined the excellencies and defects of all the sciences, it was determined that the young marquis should learn to dance.

In short, after they had looked at the strengths and weaknesses of all the subjects, they decided that the young marquis should learn to dance.

Nature, which does all, had given him a talent that quickly displayed itself surprisingly; it was that of singing ballads agreeably. The graces of youth, joined to this superior gift, caused him to be looked upon as a young man of the brightest hopes. He was admired by the women; and having his head full of songs, he composed some for his mistress. He stole from the song "Bacchus and Love" in one ballad; from that of "Night and Day" in another; from that of "Charms and Alarms" in a third. But as there were always in his verses some superfluous feet, or not enough, he had them corrected for twenty louis-d'ors a song; and in the annals of literature he was put upon a level with the La Fares, Chaulieus, Hamiltons, Sarrazins, and Voitures.

Nature, which does everything, had given him a talent that quickly revealed itself in surprising ways; it was the ability to sing ballads pleasingly. The charms of youth, combined with this exceptional gift, made people see him as a young man full of promise. He was admired by women; and with his head full of songs, he wrote some for his girlfriend. He borrowed from the song "Bacchus and Love" in one ballad; from "Night and Day" in another; and from "Charms and Alarms" in a third. But since there were always some extra beats or not enough in his verses, he had them fixed for twenty louis-d'ors per song; and in the history of literature, he was ranked alongside La Fares, Chaulieus, Hamiltons, Sarrazins, and Voitures.

The marchioness then looked upon herself as the mother of a wit, and gave a supper to the wits of Paris. The young man's brain was soon turned; he acquired the art of speaking without knowing his own meaning, and he became perfect in the habit of being good for nothing. When his father found he was so eloquent, he very much regretted that his son had not learned Latin; for he would have bought him a lucrative place among the gentry of the long robe. The mother, who had more elevated sentiments, undertook to procure a regiment for her son; and in the meantime, courtship was his occupation. Love is sometimes more expensive than a regiment. He was very improvident, whilst his parents exhausted their finances still more, by expensive living.

The marchioness saw herself as the mother of a thoughtful young man and hosted a dinner for Paris's intellectuals. The young man quickly became full of himself; he mastered the ability to speak without really understanding his own words, and he excelled at being useless. When his father realized how articulate he had become, he deeply regretted that his son hadn’t learned Latin; he would have secured him a well-paying position among the gentry in the legal field. The mother, who had loftier ambitions, set out to get her son a military commission; meanwhile, he occupied himself with romance. Love can sometimes be more costly than a military commission. He was quite careless with money, while his parents drained their finances even further with their lavish lifestyle.

A young widow of fashion, their neighbor, who had but a moderate fortune, had an inclination to secure the great wealth of Monsieur and Madame de la Jeannotière, and appropriating it to herself, by a marriage with the young marquis. She allured him to visit her; she admitted his addresses; she showed that she was not indifferent to him; she led him on by degrees; she enchanted and captivated him without much difficulty. Sometimes she lavished praises upon him, sometimes she gave him advice. She became the most intimate friend of both the father and mother.

A young, fashionable widow living next door, who had a modest fortune, wanted to gain the substantial wealth of Monsieur and Madame de la Jeannotière for herself by marrying the young marquis. She encouraged him to visit her; she accepted his advances; she made it clear that she was interested in him; she gradually led him on; she charmed and captivated him without much effort. Sometimes she showered him with compliments, and at other times, she offered him advice. She became the closest friend of both his father and mother.

An elderly lady, who was their neighbor, proposed the match. The parents, dazzled by the glory of such an alliance, accepted the proposal with joy. They gave their only son to their intimate friend.

An elderly woman, who lived next door, suggested the match. The parents, thrilled by the idea of such a connection, happily accepted the proposal. They entrusted their only son to their close friend.

The young marquis was now on the point of marrying a woman whom he adored, and by whom he was beloved; the friends of the family congratulated them; the marriage articles were just going to be drawn up, whilst wedding clothes were being made for the young couple, and their epithalamium composed.

The young marquis was about to marry a woman he adored, and who loved him in return; the family's friends congratulated them; the marriage contract was about to be drafted, wedding clothes were being made for the couple, and their wedding song was being written.

The young marquis was one day upon his knees before his charming mistress, whom love, esteem, and friendship were going to make all his own. In a tender and spirited conversation, they enjoyed a foretaste of their coming happiness, they concerted measures to lead a happy life. When all on a sudden a valet-de-chambre belonging to the old marchioness, arrived in a great fright.

The young marquis was one day on his knees before his charming mistress, who love, respect, and friendship were about to make entirely his. In a heartfelt and lively conversation, they savored a glimpse of their future happiness and planned how to live joyfully together. Suddenly, a personal servant of the old marchioness burst in, clearly alarmed.

"Here is sad news," said he, "officers have removed the effects of my master and mistress; the creditors have seized upon all by virtue of an execution; and I am obliged to make the best shift I can to have my wages paid."

"Here is some sad news," he said, "the officers have taken my master and mistress's belongings; the creditors have seized everything because of an execution; and I have to do my best to get my wages paid."

"Let's see," said the marquis, "what is this? What can this adventure mean?"

"Let’s see," said the marquis, "what’s going on here? What could this adventure be about?"

"Go," said the widow, "go quickly, and punish those villains."

"Go," said the widow, "hurry up, and deal with those villains."

He runs, he arrives at the house; his father is already in prison; all the servants have fled in different ways, each carrying off whatever he could lay his hands upon. His mother is alone, without assistance, without comfort, drowned in tears. She has nothing left but the remembrance of her fortune, of her beauty, her faults, and her extravagant living.

He runs and reaches the house; his father is already in prison; all the servants have escaped in various ways, each taking whatever they could grab. His mother is alone, with no help, no comfort, and overwhelmed with tears. She has nothing left but the memories of her wealth, her beauty, her mistakes, and her lavish lifestyle.

After the son had wept a long time with his mother, he at length said to her:

After the son had cried for a long time with his mother, he finally said to her:

"Let us not give ourselves up to despair. This young widow loves me to excess; she is more generous than rich, I can answer for her; I will go and bring her to you."

"Let’s not give in to despair. This young widow loves me deeply; she’s more generous than wealthy, I can assure you; I will go and bring her to you."

He returns to his mistress, and finds her in company with a very amiable young officer.

He goes back to his girlfriend and finds her with a really pleasant young officer.

"What, is it you, M. de la Jeannotière," said she; "what brings you here? Is it proper to forsake your unhappy mother in such a crisis? Go to that poor, unfortunate woman, and tell her that I still wish her well. I have occasion for a chamber-maid, and will give her the preference."

"What, is that you, M. de la Jeannotière?" she said. "What are you doing here? Is it right to abandon your unhappy mother in such a tough time? Go to that poor, unfortunate woman and let her know that I still wish her well. I need a chambermaid and will give her the first choice."

"My lad," said the officer, "you are well shaped. Enlist in my company; you may depend on good usage."

"My boy," said the officer, "you have a good build. Join my company; you can count on being treated well."

The marquis, thunderstruck, and with a heart enraged, went in quest of his old governor, made him acquainted with his misfortune, and asked his advice. The governor proposed that he should become a tutor, like himself.

The marquis, shocked and angry, went to find his old governor, shared his misfortune, and sought his advice. The governor suggested that he should become a tutor, just like him.

"Alas!" said the marquis, "I know nothing; you have taught me nothing, and you are the first cause of my misfortunes." He sobbed when he spoke thus.

"Sadly!" said the marquis, "I know nothing; you haven't taught me anything, and you are the main reason for my misfortunes." He cried as he spoke this way.

"Write romances," said a wit who was present; "it is an admirable resource at Paris."

"Write romances," said a clever person who was there; "it's an excellent option in Paris."

The young man, in greater despair than ever, ran to his mother's confessor. This confessor was a Theatin of great reputation, who directed the consciences only of women of the first rank. As soon as he saw Jeannot, he ran up to him:

The young man, more desperate than ever, rushed to his mother's priest. This priest was a well-respected Theatin who only advised the consciences of high-ranking women. As soon as he saw Jeannot, he hurried over to him:

"My God, Mr. Marquis," said he, "where is your coach? How is the good lady your mother?"

"My God, Mr. Marquis," he said, "where's your carriage? How is your mother doing?"

The poor unfortunate young man gave him an account of what had befallen his family. In proportion as he explained himself the Theatin assumed an air more grave, more indifferent, and more defiant.

The poor young man told him what had happened to his family. As he explained more, the Theatin became increasingly serious, indifferent, and defiant.

"My son," said he, "it is the will of God that you should be reduced to this condition; riches serve only to corrupt the heart. God, in his great mercy, has then reduced your mother to beggary?"

"My son," he said, "it's God's will that you should be brought to this state; wealth only corrupts the heart. In His great mercy, has God then brought your mother to poverty?"

JEANNOT AND COLIN. Jeannot and Colin.

"Yes, sir," answered the marquis.

"Yes, sir," replied the marquis.

"So much the better," said the confessor, "her election is the more certain."

"So much the better," said the confessor, "that makes her choice even more certain."

"But father," said the marquis, "is there in the mean time no hopes of some assistance in this world?"

"But dad," said the marquis, "is there really no chance of getting some help in this world?"

"Farewell, my son," said the confessor; "a court lady is waiting for me."

"Goodbye, my son," said the confessor; "a lady from the court is waiting for me."

The marquis was almost ready to faint. He met with much the same treatment from all; and acquired more knowledge of the world in half a day than he had previously learned in all the rest of his life.

The marquis was about to pass out. He experienced pretty much the same treatment from everyone and gained more understanding of the world in just half a day than he had learned in his entire life up until then.

Being quite overwhelmed with despair, he saw an old-fashioned chaise advance, which resembled an open wagon with leather curtains; it was followed by four enormous carts which were loaded. In the chaise there was a young man, dressed in the rustic manner, whose fresh countenance was replete with sweetness and gaiety. His wife, a little woman of a brown complexion and an agreeable figure, though somewhat stout, sat close by him. As the carriage did not move on like the chaise of a petit-maître, the traveler had sufficient time to contemplate the marquis, who was motionless and immersed in sorrow.

Feeling completely overwhelmed with despair, he noticed an old-fashioned carriage coming towards him, looking like an open wagon with leather curtains. It was followed by four huge carts piled high with cargo. Inside the carriage sat a young man, dressed in a rustic style, whose bright face radiated sweetness and joy. Next to him was his wife, a petite woman with a brown complexion and a pleasant figure, though a bit plump. Since the carriage wasn't speeding along like that of a dandy, the traveler had plenty of time to observe the marquis, who sat still and lost in sorrow.

"Good God," cried he, "I think that is Jeannot." Upon hearing this name, the marquis lifts up his eyes, the carriage stops, and Colin cries out, "'Tis Jeannot, 'tis Jeannot himself."

"Good God," he exclaimed, "I think that’s Jeannot." Upon hearing this name, the marquis looks up, the carriage stops, and Colin shouts, "It’s Jeannot, it’s Jeannot himself."

The little fat bumpkin gave but one spring from the chaise and ran to embrace his old companion. Jeannot recollected his friend Colin, while his eyes were blinded with tears of shame.

The chubby bumpkin jumped down from the chair and ran to hug his old friend. Jeannot remembered his buddy Colin, even as tears of shame blurred his vision.

"You have abandoned me," said Colin; "but, though you are a great man, I will love you forever."

"You left me," Colin said; "but even though you're a great man, I will love you forever."

Jeannot, confused and affected, related to him with emotion a great part of his history.

Jeannot, feeling confused and emotional, shared a significant part of his story with him.

"Come to the inn where I lodge, and tell me the rest of it," said Colin; "embrace my wife here, and let us go and dine together." They then went on foot, followed by their baggage.

"Come to the inn where I'm staying, and tell me the rest," Colin said; "give my wife a hug here, and let's go have dinner together." They then walked, followed by their luggage.

"What is all this train," said Jeannot; "is it yours?"

"What’s this whole train about?" asked Jeannot. "Is it yours?"

"Yes," answered Colin, "it all belongs to me and to my wife. We have just come in from the country. I am now at the head of a large manufactory of tin and copper. I have married the daughter of a merchant well provided with all things necessary for the great as well as the little. We work a great deal; God blesses us; we have not changed our condition; we are happy; we will assist our friend Jeannot. Be no longer a marquis; all the grandeur in the world is not to be compared to a good friend. You shall return with me to the country. I will teach you the trade; it is not very difficult; I will make you my partner, and we will live merrily in the remote corner where we were born."

"Yes," Colin replied, "it all belongs to me and my wife. We just came in from the countryside. I’m now running a large factory for tin and copper. I married the daughter of a well-off merchant who has everything we need, both big and small. We work a lot; God blesses us; we haven’t changed our situation; we’re happy; we’ll help our friend Jeannot. No more being a marquis; all the wealth in the world can’t compare to a good friend. You’ll come back with me to the countryside. I’ll teach you the trade; it’s not that hard; I’ll make you my partner, and we’ll live happily in the little corner where we were born."

Jeannot, quite transported, felt emotions of grief and joy, tenderness and shame; and he said within himself: "My fashionable friends have betrayed me, and Colin, whom I despised, is the only one who comes to relieve me." What instruction does not this narrative afford!

Jeannot, completely overwhelmed, felt a mix of sadness and happiness, affection and embarrassment; and he thought to himself, “My trendy friends have let me down, and Colin, whom I looked down on, is the only one here to help me.” What a lesson this story offers!

Colin's goodness of heart caused the seeds of a virtuous disposition, which the world had not quite stifled in Jeannot, to revive. He was sensible that he could not forsake his father and mother.

Colin's kind heart helped bring back the seeds of a good nature that the world hadn't completely smothered in Jeannot. He realized that he couldn't abandon his parents.

"We will take care of your mother," said Colin; "and as to the good man your father, who is now in jail, his creditors, seeing he has nothing, will compromise matters for a trifle. I know something of business, and will take the whole affair upon myself."

"We'll look after your mom," Colin said, "and as for your dad, who's in jail now, his creditors will settle for a small amount since he has nothing. I have some experience in business and will handle the entire situation myself."

Colin found means to procure the father's enlargement. Jeannot returned to the country with his relatives, who resumed their former way of life. He married a sister of Colin, and she, being of the same temper with her brother, made him completely happy.

Colin found a way to get his father's release. Jeannot went back to the countryside with his family, who went back to their old lifestyle. He married Colin's sister, and since she had the same temperament as her brother, she made him completely happy.

Jeannot the father, Jeannote the mother, and Jeannot the son, were thus convinced that happiness is not the result of vanity.

Jeannot the father, Jeannote the mother, and Jeannot the son were all convinced that happiness doesn't come from vanity.


Religious emblems.

THE HISTORY OF THE TRAVELS OF SCARMENTADO. [1]

I was born in Candia, in the year 1600. My father was governor of the city; and I remember that a poet of middling parts, and of a most unmusical ear, whose name was Iro, composed some verses in my praise, in which he made me to descend from Minos in a direct line; but my father being afterwards disgraced, he wrote some other verses, in which he derived my pedigree from no nobler an origin than the amours of Pasiphæ and her gallant. This Iro was a most mischievous rogue, and one of the most troublesome fellows in the island.

I was born in Candia in 1600. My father was the governor of the city, and I remember a poet of average talent and a terrible sense of rhythm named Iro, who wrote some verses praising me, claiming I was a direct descendant of Minos. However, after my father fell from grace, Iro wrote another poem that traced my lineage back to nothing more noble than the love affairs of Pasiphaë and her lover. Iro was quite the troublemaker and one of the most annoying people on the island.

My father sent me at fifteen years of age to prosecute my studies at Rome. There I arrived in full hopes of learning all kinds of truth; for I had hitherto been taught quite the reverse, according to the custom of this lower world from China to the Alps. Monsignor Profondo, to whom I was recommended, was a man of a very singular character, and one of the most terrible scholars in the world. He was for teaching me the categories of Aristotle; and was just on the point of placing me in the category of his minions; a fate which I narrowly escaped. I saw processions, exorcisms, and some robberies.

My father sent me to study in Rome when I was fifteen. I arrived with high hopes of learning all kinds of truths, since I had been taught the opposite, like most people from China to the Alps. Monsignor Profondo, who was recommended to me, was a very unique character and one of the toughest teachers around. He wanted to teach me Aristotle's categories and was about to make me one of his favorites, a fate I narrowly avoided. I witnessed processions, exorcisms, and even some robberies.

It was commonly said, but without any foundation, that la Signora Olympia, a lady of great prudence, had deceived many lovers, she being both inconstant and mercenary. I was then of an age to relish such comical anecdotes.

It was often said, though with no real evidence, that la Signora Olympia, a woman of great discretion, had tricked many suitors, as she was both fickle and greedy. I was at an age where I found such funny stories entertaining.

A young lady of great sweetness of temper, called la Signora Fatelo, thought proper to fall in love with me. She was courted by the reverend father Poignardini, and by the reverend father Aconiti,[2] young monks of an order now extinct; and she reconciled the two rivals by declaring her preference for me; but at the same time I ran the risk of being excommunicated and poisoned. I left Rome highly pleased with the architecture of St. Peter.

A young woman with a very sweet disposition, known as Miss Fatelo, decided to fall in love with me. She was being pursued by Father Poignardini and Father Aconiti,[2] young monks from a now-defunct order; she resolved their rivalry by saying she preferred me. However, this also put me at risk of being excommunicated and poisoned. I left Rome feeling very pleased with the architecture of St. Peter's.

I traveled to France. It was during the reign of Louis the Just. The first question put to me was, whether I chose to breakfast on a slice of the Marshal D'Ancre,[3] whose flesh the people had roasted and distributed with great liberality to such as chose to taste it.

I went to France during the reign of Louis the Just. The first question I was asked was whether I wanted to have breakfast on a slice of Marshal D'Ancre,[3] whose flesh the people had roasted and generously shared with anyone who wanted to try it.

This kingdom was continually involved in civil wars, sometimes for a place at court, sometimes for two pages of theological controversy. This fire, which one while lay concealed under the ashes, and at another burst forth with great violence, had desolated these beautiful provinces for upwards of sixty years. The pretext was, defending the liberties of the Gallican church. "Alas!" said I, "these people are nevertheless born with a gentle disposition. What can have drawn them so far from their natural character? They joke and keep holy days.[4] Happy the time when they shall do nothing but joke!"

This kingdom was constantly caught up in civil wars, sometimes over a spot at court and other times over minor theological disagreements. This unrest, which lay hidden beneath the surface at times and then erupted with great intensity, had devastated these beautiful regions for over sixty years. The excuse was to defend the freedoms of the Gallican church. "Alas!" I said, "these people are still naturally gentle. What could have pulled them so far from their true nature? They joke and celebrate holidays.[4] Wouldn't it be wonderful if they could just joke around all the time!"

I went over to England, where the same disputes occasioned the same barbarities. Some pious Catholics had resolved, for the good of the church, to blow up into the air with gunpowder the king, the royal family, and the whole parliament, and thus to deliver England from all these heretics at once. They showed me the place where Queen Mary of blessed memory, the daughter of Henry VIII., had caused more than five hundred, of her subjects to be burnt. An Irish priest assured me that it was a very good action; first, because those who were burnt were Englishmen; and secondly, because they did not make use of holy water, nor believe in St. Patrick. He was greatly surprised that Queen Mary was not yet canonized; but he hoped she would receive that honor as soon as the cardinal should be a little more at leisure.

I went to England, where the same conflicts led to the same brutalities. Some devout Catholics decided, for the good of the church, to blow up the king, the royal family, and the entire parliament with gunpowder, aiming to free England from all these heretics at once. They showed me the spot where Queen Mary of blessed memory, the daughter of Henry VIII, had caused over five hundred of her subjects to be burned. An Irish priest told me that it was a very good deed; first, because those who were burned were Englishmen, and second, because they didn’t use holy water or believe in St. Patrick. He was quite surprised that Queen Mary hadn’t been canonized yet, but he hoped she would receive that honor as soon as the cardinal had a little more time.

From thence I went to Holland, where I hoped to find more tranquillity among a people of a more cold and phlegmatic temperament. Just as I arrived at the Hague, the people were cutting off the head of a venerable old man. It was the bald head of the prime minister Barnevelt; a man who deserved better treatment from the republic. Touched with pity at this affecting scene, I asked what was his crime, and whether he had betrayed the state.

From there, I went to Holland, where I hoped to find more peace among a people with a cooler and more laid-back temperament. Just as I arrived in The Hague, the people were executing an elderly man. It was the bald head of Prime Minister Barnevelt, a man who deserved better treatment from the republic. Moved with pity at this heartbreaking scene, I asked what his crime was and whether he had betrayed the state.

"He has done much worse," replied a preacher in a black cloak; "he believed that men may be saved by good works as well as by faith. You must be sensible," adds he, "that if such opinions were to gain ground, a republic could not subsist; and that there must be severe laws to suppress such scandalous and horrid blasphemies."

"He has done much worse," replied a preacher in a black cloak. "He believed that people can be saved through good deeds just as much as through faith. You must understand," he continued, "that if these kinds of beliefs were to become popular, a republic couldn't survive; and there must be strict laws to put an end to such shocking and horrific blasphemies."

A profound politician said to me with a sigh: "Alas! sir, this happy time will not last long; it is only by chance that the people are so zealous. They are naturally inclined to the abominable doctrine of toleration, and they will certainly at last grant it." This reflection set him a groaning. For my own part, in expectation of that fatal period when moderation and indulgence should take place, I instantly quitted a country where severity was not softened by any lenitive, and embarked for Spain.

A thoughtful politician sighed and told me, "Unfortunately, this good time won't last long; it's just a coincidence that people are so passionate right now. They’re naturally drawn to the terrible idea of toleration, and they will definitely end up accepting it." This thought made him groan. For my part, anticipating that dreadful time when moderation and leniency would take over, I quickly left a country where harshness wasn't eased by any relief and headed for Spain.

The court was then at Seville, the galleons had just arrived; and everything breathed plenty and gladness, in the most beautiful season of the year. I observed at the end of an alley of orange and citron trees, a kind of large ring, surrounded with steps covered with rich and costly cloth. The king, the queen, the infants, and the infantas, were seated under a superb canopy. Opposite to the royal family was another throne, raised higher than that on which his majesty sat. I said to a fellow-traveler: "Unless this throne be reserved for God, I don't see what purpose it can serve."

The court was then in Seville, and the galleons had just arrived; everything felt abundant and joyful, in the most beautiful season of the year. I noticed at the end of an alley lined with orange and lemon trees, a large circular platform surrounded by steps covered with luxurious fabric. The king, queen, princes, and princesses were seated under an exquisite canopy. Facing the royal family was another throne, positioned higher than the one where the king sat. I said to a fellow traveler, "Unless this throne is meant for God, I don’t see what it’s for."

This unguarded expression was overheard by a grave Spaniard, and cost me dear. Meanwhile, I imagined we were going to a carousal, or a match of bull-baiting, when the grand inquisitor appeared in that elevated throne, from whence he blessed the king and the people.

This unguarded remark was overheard by a serious Spaniard, and it cost me a lot. In the meantime, I thought we were headed to a party or a bullfighting match when the grand inquisitor appeared on that raised throne, from where he blessed the king and the people.

Then came an army of monks, who led off in pairs, white, black, grey, shod, unshod, bearded, beardless, with pointed cowls, and without cowls. Next followed the hangman; and last of all were seen, in the midst of the guards and grandees, about forty persons clad in sackcloth, on which were painted the figures of flames and devils. Some of these were Jews, who could not be prevailed upon to renounce Moses entirely; others were Christians, who had married women with whom they had stood sponsors to a child; who had not adored our Lady of Atocha; or who had refused to part with their ready money in favor of the Hieronymite brothers. Some pretty prayers were sung with much devotion, and then the criminals were burnt at a slow fire; a ceremony with which the royal family seemed to be greatly edified.

Then came a group of monks, walking in pairs—some in white, some in black, some in gray—wearing shoes or going barefoot, some with beards and some without, some in pointed hoods and some without. Following them was the executioner; and lastly, about forty people dressed in sackcloth, adorned with images of flames and devils, were seen in the middle of the guards and dignitaries. Among them were some Jews who couldn't fully renounce Moses, and some Christians who had married women they had once been sponsors for a child, who hadn’t worshiped Our Lady of Atocha, or who refused to part with their money for the Hieronymite brothers. Some heartfelt prayers were sung with great devotion, and then the criminals were burned slowly; a spectacle that seemed to greatly impress the royal family.

As I was going to bed in the evening, two members of the inquisition came to my lodging with a figure of St. Hermandad. They embraced me with great tenderness, and conducted me in solemn silence to a well-aired prison, furnished with a bed of mat, and a beautiful crucifix. There I remained for six weeks; at the end of which time the reverend father, the Inquisitor, sent for me. He pressed me in his arms for some time with the most paternal affection, and told me that he was sorry to hear that I had been so ill lodged; but that all the apartments of the house were full, and hoped I should be better accommodated the next time. He then asked me with great cordiality if I knew for what reason I was imprisoned.

As I was getting ready for bed in the evening, two members of the inquisition came to my place with a figure of St. Hermandad. They hugged me warmly and took me in silence to a well-ventilated cell, equipped with a mat bed and a lovely crucifix. I stayed there for six weeks; at the end of that time, the reverend father, the Inquisitor, called for me. He held me in his arms for a while with the utmost affection and expressed his regret that I had been in such poor accommodations; however, he mentioned that all the rooms in the house were full and hoped I would have better conditions next time. He then asked me kindly if I knew why I was imprisoned.

I told the reverend father that it was evidently for my sins.

I told the priest that it was clearly for my sins.

"Very well," said he, "my dear child; but for what particular sin? Speak freely."

"Alright," he said, "my dear child; but what exactly did you do wrong? Feel free to speak up."

I racked my brain with conjectures, but could not possibly guess. He then charitably dismissed me. At last I remembered my unguarded expression. I escaped with a little bodily correction, and a fine of thirty thousand reals. I was led to make my obeisance to the grand Inquisitor, who was a man of great politeness. He asked me how I liked his little feast. I told him it was a most delicious one; and then went to press my companions to quit the country, beautiful as it was.

I overthought everything but just couldn’t figure it out. He then generously let me go. Finally, I recalled my careless comment. I got away with a bit of physical punishment and a fine of thirty thousand reals. I had to bow to the grand Inquisitor, who was very polite. He asked me what I thought of his little feast. I told him it was absolutely delicious; then I went to urge my friends to leave the country, as beautiful as it was.

They had, during my imprisonment, found time to inform themselves of all the great things which the Spaniards had done for the interest of religion. They had read the memoirs of the famous bishop of Chiapa, by which it appears that they had massacred, or burnt, or drowned, about ten millions of infidels in America, in order to convert them. I believe the accounts of the bishop are a little exaggerated; but suppose we reduce the number of victims to five millions, it will still be a most glorious achievement.

They had, during my time in prison, found the opportunity to learn about all the significant things the Spaniards had done for the sake of religion. They had read the memoirs of the famous bishop of Chiapa, which suggest that they had massacred, burned, or drowned around ten million non-believers in America to convert them. I think the bishop's accounts are a bit exaggerated; however, even if we cut the number of victims down to five million, it would still be a truly remarkable achievement.

The impulse for traveling still possessed me. I had proposed to finish the tour of Europe with Turkey, and thither we now directed our course. I made a firm resolution not to give my opinion of any public feasts I might see in the future. "These Turks," said I to my companions, "are a set of miscreants that have not been baptized, and therefore will be more cruel than the reverend fathers the inquisitors. Let us observe a profound silence while we are among the Mahometans." When we arrived there, I was greatly surprised to see more Christian churches in Turkey than in Candia. I saw also numerous troops of monks, who were allowed to pray to the virgin Mary with great freedom, and to curse Mahomet—some in Greek, some in Latin, and others in Armenian. "What good-natured people are these Turks," cried I.

The urge to travel still drove me. I had planned to finish my tour of Europe by going to Turkey, and that's where we headed. I made a firm decision not to share my thoughts on any public events I might witness from now on. "These Turks," I told my companions, "are a group of non-Christians who will be even more ruthless than the respected inquisitors. Let's keep quiet while we're among the Muslims." When we arrived, I was really surprised to see more Christian churches in Turkey than in Crete. I also saw many groups of monks, who were free to pray to the Virgin Mary and curse Muhammad—some in Greek, some in Latin, and others in Armenian. "What nice people these Turks are," I exclaimed.

The Greek christians, and the Latin christians in Constantinople were mortal enemies. These sectarians persecuted each other in much the same manner as dogs fight in the streets, till their masters part them with a cudgel.

The Greek Christians and the Latin Christians in Constantinople were bitter enemies. These groups persecuted each other like dogs fighting in the streets until their owners intervened with a stick.

The grand vizier was at that time the protector of the Greeks. The Greek patriarch accused me of having supped with the Latin patriarch; and I was condemned in full divan to receive an hundred blows on the soles of my feet, redeemable for five hundred sequins. Next day the grand vizier was strangled. The day following his successor, who was for the Latin party, and who was not strangled till a month after, condemned me to suffer the same punishment, for having supped with the Greek patriarch. Thus was I reduced to the sad necessity of absenting myself entirely from the Greek and Latin churches.

The grand vizier was at that time the protector of the Greeks. The Greek patriarch accused me of having dinner with the Latin patriarch; and I was sentenced in front of the full council to receive a hundred blows on the soles of my feet, which could be bought off for five hundred sequins. The next day, the grand vizier was strangled. The day after that, his successor, who was aligned with the Latin party and who wouldn’t be strangled until a month later, sentenced me to the same punishment for having dined with the Greek patriarch. Thus, I was forced to completely distance myself from both the Greek and Latin churches.

In order to console myself for this loss, I frequently visited a very handsome Circassian. She was the most entertaining lady I ever knew in a private conversation, and the most devout at the mosque. One evening she received me with tenderness and sweetly cried, "Alla, Illa, Alla."

To comfort myself for this loss, I often visited a very attractive Circassian woman. She was the most engaging person I ever spoke with one-on-one and incredibly pious at the mosque. One evening, she welcomed me warmly and sweetly exclaimed, "Allah, Illa, Allah."

These are the sacramental words of the Turks. I imagined they were the expressions of love, and therefore cried in my turn, and with a very tender accent, "Alla, Illa, Alla."

These are the sacred words of the Turks. I thought they were expressions of love, and so I cried in response, softly saying, "Alla, Illa, Alla."

"Ah!" said she, "God be praised, thou art then a Turk?"

"Ah!" she said, "Thank God, so you are a Turk?"

I told her that I was blessing God for having given me so much enjoyment, and that I thought myself extremely happy.

I told her that I was grateful to God for giving me so much joy, and that I felt really happy.

In the morning the inman came to enroll me among the circumcised, and as I made some objection to the initiation, the cadi of that district, a man of great loyalty, proposed to have me impaled. I preserved my freedom by paying a thousand sequins, and then fled directly into Persia, resolved for the future never to hear Greek or Latin mass, nor to cry "Alla, Illa, Alla," in a love encounter.

In the morning, the official came to enroll me among the circumcised, and when I objected to the initiation, the local cadi, a man of deep loyalty, suggested that I be impaled. I managed to keep my freedom by paying a thousand sequins, and then I fled straight to Persia, determined never to hear Greek or Latin mass again, nor to cry "Alla, Illa, Alla" during a romantic encounter.

On my arrival at Ispahan, the people asked me whether I was for white or black mutton? I told them that it was a matter of indifference to me, provided it was tender. It must be observed that the Persian empire was at that time split into two factions, that of the white mutton and that of the black. The two parties imagined that I had made a jest of them both; so that I found myself engaged in a very troublesome affair at the gates of the city, and it cost me a great number of sequins to get rid of the white and the black mutton.

On my arrival in Isfahan, the locals asked me if I preferred white or black mutton. I told them I didn't mind as long as it was tender. It's important to note that the Persian empire was divided into two factions at that time, one supporting white mutton and the other black. Both parties thought I was making fun of them, which led to a very complicated situation at the city gates, and I ended up spending a lot of sequins to escape the drama with the white and black mutton.

I proceeded as far as China, in company with an interpreter, who assured me that this country was the seat of gaiety and freedom. The Tartars had made themselves masters of it, after having destroyed everything with fire and sword.

I traveled all the way to China, accompanied by an interpreter, who assured me that this country was a place of joy and freedom. The Tartars had taken control after destroying everything with fire and sword.

The reverend fathers, the Jesuits, on the one hand, and the reverend fathers, the Dominicans, on the other, alleged that they had gained many souls to God in that country, without any one knowing aught of the matter. Never were seen such zealous converters. They alternately persecuted one another; they transmitted to Rome whole volumes of slander; and treated each other as infidels and prevaricators for the sake of one soul. But the most violent dispute between them was with regard to the manner of making a bow. The Jesuits would have the Chinese to salute their parents after the fashion of China, and the Dominicans would have them to do it after the fashion of Rome.

The Jesuit priests claimed on one side, and the Dominican priests on the other, that they had saved many souls for God in that country, without anyone being aware of it. They were the most passionate converts you could ever see. They took turns attacking each other; they sent entire volumes of gossip to Rome; and they accused each other of being nonbelievers and liars just to win over one soul. But the most heated argument between them revolved around how to bow. The Jesuits wanted the Chinese to greet their parents in the Chinese way, while the Dominicans insisted they do it the Roman way.

I happened unluckily to be taken by the Jesuits for a Dominican. They represented me to his Tartarian majesty as a spy of the pope. The supreme council charged a prime mandarin, who ordered a sergeant, who commanded four shires of the country, to seize me and bind me with great ceremony. In this manner I was conducted before his majesty, after having made about an hundred and forty genuflections. He asked me if I was a spy of the pope's, and if it was true that that prince was to come in person to dethrone him. I told him that the pope was a priest of seventy years of age; that he lived at the distance of four thousand leagues from his sacred Tartaro-Chinese majesty; that he had about two thousand soldiers, who mounted guard with umbrellas; that he never dethroned anybody; and that his majesty might sleep in perfect security.

I unfortunately got mistaken by the Jesuits as a Dominican. They presented me to his Tartarian majesty as a spy for the pope. The supreme council assigned a prime mandarin, who directed a sergeant, who commanded four regions of the country, to capture me and bind me with great formality. In this way, I was brought before his majesty, after making around one hundred and forty bows. He asked me if I was indeed a spy for the pope and whether it was true that the pope planned to come in person to overthrow him. I told him that the pope was a seventy-year-old priest; that he lived four thousand leagues away from his sacred Tartaro-Chinese majesty; that he had about two thousand soldiers who guarded him with umbrellas; that he never overthrew anyone; and that his majesty could rest easy.

Of all the adventures of my life this was the least fatal. I was sent to Macao, and there I took shipping for Europe.

Of all the adventures in my life, this was the least dangerous. I was sent to Macao, and from there I boarded a ship to Europe.

My ship required to be refitted on the coast of Golconda. I embraced this opportunity to visit the court of the great Aureng-Zeb, of whom such wonderful things have been told, and which was then in Delphi. I had the pleasure to see him on the day of that pompous ceremony in which he receives the celestial present sent him by the Sherif of Mecca. This was the besom with which they had swept the holy house, the Caaba, and the Beth Alla. It is a symbol that sweeps away all the pollutions of the soul.

My ship needed repairs on the coast of Golconda. I took this chance to visit the court of the great Aureng-Zeb, about whom so many amazing stories have been told, and which was then in Delphi. I was fortunate to see him on the day of the grand ceremony in which he receives the heavenly gift sent to him by the Sherif of Mecca. This was the broom that had been used to clean the holy house, the Kaaba, and the Beth Alla. It symbolizes the removal of all the impurities of the soul.

Aureng-Zeb seemed to have no need of it. He was the most pious man in all Indostan. It is true, he had cut the throat of one of his brothers, and poisoned his father. Twenty Rayas, and as many Omras, had been put to death; but that was a trifle. Nothing was talked of but his devotion. No king was thought comparable to him, except his sacred majesty Muley Ismael, the most serene emperor of Morocco, who always cut off some heads every Friday after prayers.

Aureng-Zeb didn’t seem to need it at all. He was the most devout man in all of India. It's true he had killed one of his brothers and poisoned his father. Twenty nobles and just as many officials had been executed, but that was insignificant. All anyone talked about was his piety. No king was considered his equal, except for his holy majesty Muley Ismael, the most peaceful emperor of Morocco, who would always behead a few people every Friday after prayers.

I spoke not a word. My travels had taught me wisdom. I was sensible that it did not belong to me to decide between these august sovereigns. A young Frenchman, a fellow-lodger of mine, was, however, greatly wanting in respect to both the emperor of the Indies and to that of Morocco. He happened to say very imprudently, that there were sovereigns in Europe who governed their dominions with great equity, and even went to church without killing their fathers or brothers, or cutting off the heads of their subjects.

I didn't say a word. My travels had taught me wisdom. I realized it wasn't my place to choose between these powerful rulers. However, a young Frenchman, who was staying with me, showed a lack of respect for both the emperor of the Indies and the one from Morocco. He foolishly claimed that there were rulers in Europe who governed their lands fairly and even attended church without killing their fathers or brothers or beheading their subjects.

This indiscreet discourse of my young friend, the interpreter at once translated. Instructed by former experience, I instantly caused my camels to be saddled, and set out with my Frenchman. I was afterwards informed that the officers of the great Aureng-Zeb came that very night to seize me, but finding only the interpreter, they publicly executed him; and the courtiers all claimed, very justly, that his punishment was well deserved.

This careless conversation of my young friend was immediately translated by the interpreter. Drawing from past experience, I quickly had my camels saddled and set out with my French companion. I later learned that the officers of the great Aureng-Zeb came that very night to capture me, but upon finding only the interpreter, they publicly executed him; and the courtiers all rightly claimed that his punishment was well deserved.

I had now only Africa to visit in order to enjoy all the pleasures of our continent; and thither I went to complete my voyage. The ship in which I embarked was taken by the Negro corsairs. The master of the vessel complained loudly, and asked why they thus violated the laws of nations. The captain of the Negroes thus replied:

I only had Africa left to visit to experience all the pleasures of our continent, so I went there to finish my journey. The ship I boarded was seized by African pirates. The captain of the ship complained loudly and questioned why they were breaking international laws. The pirate captain responded:

"You have a long nose and we have a short one. Your hair is straight and ours is curled; your skin is ash-colored and ours is of the color of ebon; and therefore we ought, by the sacred laws of nature, to be always at enmity. You buy us in the public markets on the coast of Guinea like beasts of burden, to make us labor in I don't know what kind of drudgery, equally hard and ridiculous. With the whip held over our heads, you make us dig in mines for a kind of yellow earth, which in itself is good for nothing, and is not so valuable as an Egyptian onion. In like manner wherever we meet you, and are superior to you in strength, we make you slaves, and oblige you to cultivate our fields, or in case of refusal we cut off your nose and ears."

"You have a long nose and we have a short one. Your hair is straight and ours is curly; your skin is ash-colored and ours is dark; and because of this, we should, by the natural laws, always be enemies. You buy us in public markets on the coast of Guinea like animals, to make us work in who knows what kind of hard and absurd tasks. With the whip hanging over us, you force us to dig in mines for a type of yellow dirt that is worthless and not even as valuable as an onion from Egypt. Similarly, whenever we meet you and are stronger, we make you our slaves and force you to work our fields, or if you refuse, we cut off your nose and ears."

To such a learned discourse it was impossible to make any answer. I submitted to labor in the garden of an old negress, in order to save my nose and ears. After continuing in slavery for a whole year, I was at length happily ransomed.

To such an educated discussion, I couldn't respond at all. I agreed to work in the garden of an elderly Black woman to protect my nose and ears. After being enslaved for an entire year, I was finally set free.

As I had now seen all that was rare, good, or beautiful on earth, I resolved for the future to see nothing but my own home. I took a wife, and soon suspected that she deceived me; but, notwithstanding this doubt, I still found that of all conditions of life this was much the happiest.

As I had now experienced everything rare, good, or beautiful on earth, I decided that from now on, I would only focus on my own home. I got married, and soon suspected that she was being unfaithful; however, despite this doubt, I still found that of all life’s situations, this was by far the happiest.

[1] The reader will perceive that this is a spirited satire on mankind in general, and particularly on persecution for conscience sake.—Trans.

[1] The reader will notice that this is a lively satire on humanity as a whole, and especially on the persecution for the sake of one's beliefs.—Trans.

[2] Alluding to the infamous practice of poisoning and assassination at that time prevalent in Rome.—Trans.

[2] Referring to the notorious practice of poisoning and assassination that was common in Rome at that time.—Trans.

[3] This was the famous Concini, who was murdered on the draw-bridge of the Louvre, by the intrigues of De Luines, not without the knowledge of the king, Louis XIII. His body, which had been secretly interred in the church of St. Germain de l'Auxerrois, was next day dug up by the populace, who dragged it through the streets, then burned the flesh, and threw the bones into the river. The marshal's greatest crime was his being a foreigner.—Tr.

[3] This was the infamous Concini, who was killed on the drawbridge of the Louvre through the schemes of De Luines, not without the king, Louis XIII, being aware of it. His body, which had been secretly buried in the church of St. Germain de l'Auxerrois, was exhumed the next day by the crowd, who dragged it through the streets, then burned the flesh and tossed the bones into the river. The marshal's biggest crime was being a foreigner.—Tr.

[4] Referring to the massacre of Protestants, on the eve of St. Bartholomew.—Tr.

[4] Referring to the massacre of Protestants, on the eve of St. Bartholomew.—Tr.


Brahma, the Creator.—Vishnu, the Preserver. —Siva, the Destroyer. Brahma, the Creator. —Vishnu, the Preserver. —Siva, the Destroyer.

THE GOOD BRAMIN.

DOES HAPPINESS COME FROM IGNORANCE OR FROM KNOWLEDGE?

In my travels I once happened to meet with an aged Bramin. This man had a great share of understanding and prudence, and was very learned. He was also very rich, and his riches added greatly to his popularity; for, wanting nothing that wealth could procure, he had no desire to defraud any one. His family was admirably managed by three handsome wives, who always studied to please him; and when he was weary of their society, he had recourse to the study of philosophy.

In my travels, I once met an old Brahmin. This man was quite intelligent and wise, and he was very knowledgeable. He was also very wealthy, and his riches greatly contributed to his popularity; since he lacked for nothing that money could buy, he had no desire to cheat anyone. His household was wonderfully managed by three beautiful wives, who always aimed to please him; and when he grew tired of their company, he turned to the study of philosophy.

Not far from his house, which was handsome, well-furnished and embellished with delightful gardens, dwelt an old Indian woman who was a great bigot, ignorant, and withall very poor.

Not far from his house, which was beautiful, well-furnished, and surrounded by lovely gardens, lived an old Indian woman who was very narrow-minded, uneducated, and also quite poor.

"I wish," said the Bramin to me one day, "I had never been born!"

"I wish," said the Brahmin to me one day, "that I had never been born!"

"Why so?" said I.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Because," replied he, "I have been studying these forty years, and I find it has been so much time lost. While I teach others I know nothing myself. The sense of my condition is so humiliating, it makes all things so distasteful to me, that life has become a burden. I have been born, and I exist in time, without knowing what time is. I am placed, as our wise men say, in the confines between two eternities, and yet I have no idea of eternity. I am composed of matter, I think, but have never been able to satisfy myself what it is that produces thought. I even am ignorant whether my understanding is a simple faculty I possess, like that of walking and digesting, or if I think with my head in the same manner as I take hold of a thing with my hands. I am not only thus in the dark with relation to the principles of thought, but the principles of my motions are entirely unknown to me. I do not know why I exist, and yet I am applied to every day for a solution of the enigma. I must return an answer, but can say nothing satisfactory on the the subject. I talk a great deal, and when I have done speaking remain confounded and ashamed of what I have said."

"Because," he replied, "I've been studying for forty years, and I feel like it’s all been a waste of time. While I'm teaching others, I realize I don't really know anything myself. The awareness of my situation is so humiliating that everything feels unpleasant to me, and life has become a burden. I've been born and I exist in time, but I don’t even know what time is. As our wise men say, I'm stuck between two eternities, yet I have no understanding of eternity. I think I’m made of matter, but I’ve never been able to figure out what it is that causes thought. I even don’t know if my understanding is just a simple ability I have, like walking or digesting, or if I think with my mind in the same way I grab things with my hands. I'm not just in the dark about how thought works, but I'm totally clueless about why I move, too. I don’t know why I exist, yet every day I’m asked to explain this mystery. I have to give an answer, but I can’t say anything satisfying on the subject. I talk a lot, and when I stop speaking, I feel confused and ashamed of what I've said."

"I am in still greater perplexity when I am asked if Brama was produced by Vishnu, or if they have both existed from eternity. God is my judge that I know nothing of the matter, as plainly appears by my answers. 'Reverend father,' says one, 'be pleased to inform me how evil is spread over the face of the earth.' I am as much at a loss as those who ask the question. Sometimes I tell them that every thing is for the best; but those who have the gout or the stone—those who have lost their fortunes or their limbs in the wars—believe as little of this assertion as I do myself. I retire to my own house full of curiosity, and endeavor to enlighten my ignorance by consulting the writings of our ancient sages, but they only serve to bewilder me the more. When I talk with my brethren upon this subject, some tell me we ought to make the most of life and laugh at the world. Others think they know something, and lose themselves in vain and chimerical hypotheses. Every effort I make to solve the mystery adds to the load I feel. Sometimes I am ready to fall into despair when I reflect that, after all my researches, I neither know from whence I came, what I am, whither I shall go, or what is to become of me."

"I am even more confused when I'm asked if Brama was created by Vishnu, or if they have both existed forever. God is my witness that I know nothing about it, as my answers clearly show. 'Reverend father,' one person asks, 'could you please explain how evil spreads across the earth?' I'm just as confused as those asking the question. Sometimes I tell them that everything happens for a reason, but those suffering from gout or kidney stones—those who have lost their fortunes or limbs in wars—believe this just as little as I do. I go home filled with curiosity, trying to clear up my ignorance by reading the works of our ancient sages, but they just confuse me even more. When I discuss this with my peers, some say we should make the most of life and laugh at the world. Others think they have answers and get lost in pointless and unrealistic theories. Every attempt I make to understand the mystery adds to the burden I carry. Sometimes I'm on the verge of despair when I think that despite all my efforts, I still don’t know where I came from, what I am, where I'm going, or what will happen to me."

The condition in which I saw this good man gave me real concern. No one could be more rational, no one more open and honest. It appeared to me that the force of his understanding and the sensibility of his heart were the causes of his misery.

The state in which I saw this good man genuinely worried me. No one could be more rational, no one more open and honest. It seemed to me that the strength of his understanding and the sensitivity of his heart were the reasons for his suffering.


The same day I had a conversation with the old woman, his neighbor. I asked her if she had ever been unhappy for not understanding how her soul was made? She did not even comprehend my question. She had not, for the briefest moment in her life, had a thought about these subjects with which the good Bramin had so tormented himself. She believed from the bottom of her heart in the metamorphoses of her god Vishnu, and, provided she could get some of the sacred water of the Ganges in which to make her ablutions, she thought herself the happiest of women.

The same day I talked to the old woman next door, I asked her if she had ever felt unhappy about not knowing how her soul was created. She didn’t even understand my question. Not once in her life had she thought about the topics that troubled the good Brahmin so much. She truly believed in the transformations of her god Vishnu, and as long as she could get some of the sacred water from the Ganges for her rituals, she considered herself the happiest woman.


Struck with the happiness of this poor creature, I returned to my philosopher, whom I thus addressed:

Struck by the happiness of this poor being, I went back to my philosopher and said to him:

"Are you not ashamed to be thus miserable when, not fifty yards from you, there is an old automaton who thinks of nothing and lives contented?"

"Are you not embarrassed to be so miserable when, not fifty yards away, there's an old robot who doesn’t think at all and lives happily?"

"You are right," he replied. "I have said to myself a thousand times that I should be happy if I were but as ignorant as my old neighbor, and yet it is a happiness I do not desire."

"You’re right," he said. "I’ve told myself a thousand times that I would be happy if I were as unaware as my old neighbor, yet it’s a happiness I don’t want."


This reply of the Bramin made a greater impression on me than any thing that had passed. I consulted my own heart and found that I myself should not wish to be happy on condition of being ignorant.

This response from the Brahmin affected me more than anything else that had happened. I looked within myself and realized that I wouldn't want to be happy if it meant being ignorant.


I submitted this matter to some philosophers, and they were all of my opinion: and yet, said I, there is something very contradictory in this manner of thinking; for, after all, what is the question? Is it not to be happy? What signifies it then whether we have understandings or whether we are fools? Besides, there is this to be said: those who are contented with their condition are sure of that content; while those who have the faculty of reasoning are not always sure of reasoning right. It is evident then, I continued, that we ought rather to wish not to have common sense, if that common sense contributes to our being either miserable or wicked.

I brought this issue up with some philosophers, and they all agreed with me. Still, I said, there's something very contradictory about this way of thinking; after all, what's the main question? Isn't it about being happy? So does it really matter if we have intelligence or if we are foolish? Furthermore, it should be noted that those who are happy with who they are are certain of that happiness, while those who can reason aren’t always sure they are reasoning correctly. It seems clear, I continued, that we should actually prefer not to have common sense if that common sense leads us to be either unhappy or immoral.

They were all of my opinion, and yet not one of them could be found, to accept of happiness on the terms of being ignorant. From hence I concluded, that although we may set a great value upon happiness, we set a still greater upon reason.

They all agreed with me, yet not one of them could accept happiness if it meant being ignorant. From this, I concluded that while we may value happiness highly, we value reason even more.

But after mature reflection upon this subject I still thought there was great madness in preferring reason to happiness. How is this contradiction to be explained? Like all other questions, a great deal may be said about it.

But after thinking this over, I still believed it was pretty crazy to choose reason over happiness. How can this contradiction be explained? Like with any other question, there’s a lot that can be said about it.

The happy bigot.


THE TWO COMFORTERS.

The great philosopher Citosile once said to a woman who was disconsolate, and who had good reason to be so: "Madame, the queen of England, daughter to Henry IV., was as wretched as you. She was banished from her kingdom, was in great danger of losing her life at sea, and saw her royal spouse expire on a scaffold."

The great philosopher Citosile once said to a woman who was feeling utterly hopeless, and justifiably so: "Madam, the queen of England, the daughter of Henry IV, was just as miserable as you are. She was exiled from her kingdom, faced a real threat to her life at sea, and witnessed her royal husband die on a scaffold."

"I am sorry for her," said the lady, and began again to lament her own misfortunes.

"I feel sorry for her," said the lady, and started to complain about her own troubles again.

"But," said Citosile, "remember the fate of Mary Stuart. She loved, (but with a most chaste and virtuous affection,) an excellent musician, who played admirably on the bass-viol. Her husband killed her musician before her face; and in the sequel, her good friend and relative, queen Elizabeth, who called herself a virgin, caused her head to be cut off on a scaffold covered with black, after having confined her in prison for the space of eighteen years."

"But," said Citosile, "remember what happened to Mary Stuart. She loved—though with a pure and virtuous affection—an amazing musician who played the bass viol beautifully. Her husband killed her musician right in front of her, and later, her good friend and relative, Queen Elizabeth, who referred to herself as a virgin, had her executed on a scaffold draped in black after keeping her imprisoned for eighteen years."

"That was very cruel," replied the lady, and presently relapsed into her former melancholy.

"That was really cruel," the lady replied, and soon fell back into her previous sadness.

"Perhaps," said the comforter, "you have heard of the beautiful Joan of Naples, who was taken prisoner and strangled."

"Maybe," said the comforter, "you've heard of the beautiful Joan of Naples, who was captured and strangled."

"I have a dim remembrance of her," said the afflicted lady.

"I have a faint memory of her," said the distressed woman.

"I must relate to you," continued the other, "the adventure of a sovereign princess who, within my recollection, was dethroned after supper, and who died in a desert island."

"I have to tell you," the other continued, "about the adventure of a royal princess who, as I remember it, was overthrown after dinner and who died on a deserted island."

"I know her whole history," replied the lady.

"I know her entire history," replied the lady.

"Well, then," said Citosile, "I will tell you what happened to another great princess whom I instructed in philosophy. She had a lover as all great and beautiful princesses have. Her father surprised this lover in her company, and was so displeased with the young man's confused manner and excited countenance, that he gave him one of the most terrible blows that had ever been given in his province. The lover seized a pair of tongs and broke the head of the angry parent, who was cured with great difficulty, and who still bears the marks of the wound. The lady in a fright leaped out of the window and dislocated her foot, in consequence of which she habitually halts, though still possessed in other respects of a very handsome person. The lover was condemned to death for having broken the head of a great prince. You can imagine in what a deplorable condition the princess must have been when her lover was led to the gallows. I have seen her long ago when she was in prison, and she always spoke to me of her own misfortunes."

"Well, then," said Citosile, "let me tell you what happened to another great princess I once taught about philosophy. She had a boyfriend, like all great and beautiful princesses do. Her father caught them together and was so upset by the young man's startled expression that he delivered one of the worst beatings ever seen in his region. The boyfriend grabbed a pair of tongs and struck the angry father, who required extensive treatment for his injuries and still bears the scars. The princess, terrified, jumped out the window and injured her foot, causing her to limp, even though she remains quite beautiful otherwise. The boyfriend was sentenced to death for injuring a prince. You can imagine how devastated the princess was when her lover was taken to the gallows. I saw her long ago when she was in prison, and she always shared her misfortunes with me."

"And why will you not allow me to think of mine?" said the lady.

"And why won’t you let me think of my own?" said the lady.

"Because," said the philosopher, "you ought not to think of them; and since so many great ladies have been so unfortunate, it ill becomes you to despair. Think of Hecuba, —think of Niobe."

"Because," said the philosopher, "you shouldn't dwell on them; and since so many notable women have faced such misfortunes, it doesn't suit you to lose hope. Think of Hecuba—think of Niobe."

"Ah!" said the lady, "had I lived in their time, or in that of so many beautiful princesses, and had you endeavored to console them by a relation of my misfortunes, would they have listened to you, do you imagine?"

"Ah!" said the lady, "if I had lived in their time, or in the time of so many beautiful princesses, and you had tried to comfort them by telling them about my misfortunes, do you think they would have listened to you?"


Next day the philosopher lost his only son, and was entirely prostrated with grief. The lady caused a catalogue to be drawn up of all the kings who had lost their children, and carried it to the philosopher. He read it—found it very exact—and wept nevertheless.

Next day, the philosopher lost his only son and was completely overwhelmed with grief. The lady had a list made of all the kings who had lost their children and brought it to the philosopher. He read it, found it very accurate, and still cried.

Three months afterwards they chanced to renew their acquaintance, and were mutually surprised to find each other in such a gay and sprightly humor. To commemorate this event, they caused to be erected a beautiful statue to Time, with this inscription: "TO HIM WHO COMFORTS."

Three months later, they happened to reconnect and were both surprised to see each other in such a cheerful and lively mood. To celebrate this occasion, they had a beautiful statue of Time erected, with the inscription: "TO HIM WHO COMFORTS."


The winged dragon. The flying dragon. [1]

ANCIENT FAITH AND FABLE.

In order to be successful in their efforts to govern the multitude, rulers have endeavored to instill all the visionary notions possible into the minds of their subjects.

To be successful in governing the masses, leaders have tried to implant all possible visionary ideas in the minds of their people.

The good people who read Virgil, or the Provincial Letters, do not know that there are twenty times more copies of the Almanac of Liège and of the Courier Boiteux printed, than of all the ancient and modern books together. No one can have a greater admiration than myself for the illustrious authors of these Almanacs and their brethren. I know that ever since the time of the ancient Chaldeans there have been fixed and stated days for taking physic, paring our nails, giving battle, and cleaving wood. I know that the best part of the revenue of an illustrious academy consists in the sale of these Almanacs. May I presume to ask, with all possible submission, and a becoming diffidence of my own judgment, what harm it would do to the world if some powerful astrologer were to assure the peasants and the good inhabitants of little villages that they might safely pare their nails when they please, provided it be done with a good intention? The people, I shall be told, would not buy the Almanacs of this new astrologer. On the contrary, I will venture to affirm, that there would be found among your great geniuses many who would make a merit in following this novelty. Should it be alleged, however, that these geniuses, in their new born zeal, would form factions and kindle a civil war, I would have nothing farther to say on the subject, but readily give up for the sake of peace my too radical and dangerous opinion.

The good people who read Virgil or the Provincial Letters don’t realize that there are twenty times more copies of the Almanac of Liège and the Courier Boiteux printed than of all the ancient and modern books combined. No one admires the distinguished authors of these Almanacs and their counterparts more than I do. I know that since the time of the ancient Chaldeans, there have been set days for taking medicine, trimming our nails, going to battle, and chopping wood. I know that a significant portion of an esteemed academy's income comes from the sale of these Almanacs. May I respectfully ask, with all due humility and an appropriate doubt about my own judgment, what harm it would do if a powerful astrologer were to assure the peasants and good folks in small villages that they could trim their nails whenever they wanted, as long as it was done with good intentions? I’ll be told that people wouldn’t buy this new astrologer's Almanacs. On the contrary, I would argue that among your great thinkers, many would take pride in embracing this new idea. However, if it’s claimed that these thinkers, in their newfound enthusiasm, would form factions and spark a civil war, I would have nothing more to say on the matter, and I would gladly give up my radical and dangerous opinion for the sake of peace.

Every body knows the king of Boutan. He is one of the greatest princes in the universe. He tramples under his feet the thrones of the earth; and his shoes (if he has any) are provided with sceptres instead of buckles. He adores the devil, as is well known, and his example is followed by all his courtiers. He one day sent for a famous sculptor of my country, and ordered him to make a beautiful statue of Beelzebub. The sculptor succeeded admirably. Never before was there seen such an interesting and handsome devil. But, unhappily, our Praxiteles had only given five clutches to his statue, whereas the devout Boutaniers always gave him six. This serious blunder of the artist was aggravated by the grand master of ceremonies to the devil with all the zeal of a man justly jealous of his master's acknowledged rights, and also of the established and sacred customs of the kingdom of Boutan. He insisted that the sculptor should be punished for his thoughtless innovation by the loss of his head. The anxious sculptor explained that his five clutches were exactly equal in weight to six ordinary clutches; and the king of Boutan, who was a prince of great clemency, granted him a pardon. From that time the people of Boutan no longer believed the dogma relating to the devil's six clutches.

Everyone knows the king of Boutan. He is one of the greatest rulers in the world. He looks down on the thrones of the earth; and his shoes (if he wears any) have scepters instead of buckles. He worships the devil, as everyone knows, and all his courtiers follow his lead. One day, he called for a famous sculptor from my country and ordered him to create a beautiful statue of Beelzebub. The sculptor did an amazing job. Never before had such an interesting and handsome devil been seen. Unfortunately, our Praxiteles had only given five claws to his statue, while the devout people of Boutan always used six. This serious mistake by the artist was pointed out by the grand master of ceremonies to the devil, who was very protective of his master's established rights and the sacred customs of the kingdom of Boutan. He insisted that the sculptor be punished for his careless deviation by losing his head. The worried sculptor explained that his five claws were equivalent in weight to six regular claws; and the king of Boutan, known for his great mercy, granted him a pardon. From that point on, the people of Boutan no longer believed in the doctrine regarding the devil's six claws.

The same day it was thought necessary that his majesty should be bled, and a surgeon of Gascony, who had come to his court in a ship belonging to our East India Company, was appointed to take from him five ounces of his precious blood. The astrologer of that quarter cried out that the king would be in danger of losing his life if the surgeon opened a vein while the heavens were in their present state. The Gascon might have told him that the only question was about the king's health; but he prudently waited a few moments and then, taking an Almanac in his hand, thus addressed the astrologer.

The same day, it was considered necessary for the king to be bled, and a surgeon from Gascony, who had arrived at his court on a ship belonging to our East India Company, was chosen to draw five ounces of his valuable blood. The astrologer from that area exclaimed that the king would be in danger of losing his life if the surgeon opened a vein while the stars were aligned as they were. The Gascon might have pointed out that the key concern was the king's health, but he wisely held off for a moment and then, taking an Almanac in his hand, addressed the astrologer.

"You was in the right, great man! The king would have died held he been bled at the instant you mentioned; but the heavens have since changed their aspect, and now is the favorable moment."

"You were right, great man! The king would have died if he had been bled at the moment you mentioned; but the heavens have since changed their tune, and now is the perfect moment."

The astrologer assented to the surgeon's observation. The king was cured; and by degrees it became an established custom among the Boutaniers to bleed their kings whenever it was considered necessary.

The astrologer agreed with the surgeon's remark. The king was healed; and gradually it became a common practice among the Boutaniers to bleed their kings whenever it was deemed necessary.


Although the Indian astronomers understood the method of calculating eclipses, yet the common people obstinately held to the old belief that the sun, when obscured, had fallen into the throat of a great dragon, and that the only way to free him from thence was by standing naked in the water and making a hideous noise to frighten away the monster, and oblige him to release his hold.[2] This notion, which is quite prevalent among the orientals, is an evident proof how much the symbols of religion and natural philosophy have at all times been perverted by the common people. The astronomers of all ages have been wont to distinguish the two points of intersection, upon which every eclipse happens, and which are called the Lunar Nodes, by marking them with a dragon's head and tail. Now the vulgar, who are equally ignorant in every part of the world, took the symbol or sign for the thing itself. Thus, when the astronomers said the sun is in the dragon's head, the common people said the dragon is going to swallow up the sun; and yet these people were remarkable for their fondness for astrology. But while we laugh at the ignorance and credulity of the Indians, we do not reflect that there are no less than 300,000 Almanacs sold yearly in Europe, all of them filled with observations and predictions equally as false and absurd as any to be met with among the Indians. It is surely as reasonable to say that the sun is in the mouth or the claws of a dragon, as to tell people every year in print that they must not sow, nor plant, nor take physic, nor be bled, but on certain days of the moon. It is high time, in an age like ours, that some men of learning should think it worth their while to compose a calendar that might be of use to the industrious classes by instructing instead of deceiving them.

Although Indian astronomers knew how to calculate eclipses, ordinary people stubbornly clung to the old belief that when the sun was covered, it had fallen into the throat of a great dragon. They thought the only way to free it was by standing naked in the water and making a loud noise to scare the monster away and make it let go. This notion, which is quite common among people in the East, clearly shows how much the symbols of religion and natural philosophy have always been misunderstood by the general public. Astronomers across the ages have marked the two points of intersection where every eclipse occurs—known as the Lunar Nodes—with a dragon's head and tail. However, the uneducated masses everywhere took the symbol or sign literally. So when astronomers said the sun is in the dragon's head, the common people believed the dragon was about to swallow the sun; yet these same people were quite interested in astrology. While we might laugh at the ignorance and gullibility of the Indians, we fail to realize that around 300,000 Almanacs are sold each year in Europe, filled with observations and predictions just as false and ridiculous as those found among the Indians. It is just as reasonable to say that the sun is in the mouth or claws of a dragon as it is to tell people every year in print that they shouldn’t sow, plant, take medicine, or get bled except on certain days of the moon. It is certainly time for some educated individuals in our age to consider creating a calendar that would genuinely help hardworking people by educating rather than misleading them.

A blustering Dominican at Rome said to an English philosopher with whom he was disputing:

A loud Dominican in Rome said to an English philosopher he was arguing with:

"You are a dog; you say that it is the earth that turns round, never reflecting that Joshua made the sun to stand still!"

"You’re a dog; you claim that it's the earth that spins around, never considering that Joshua made the sun stand still!"

"Well! my reverend father," replied the philosopher, "ever since that time hath not the sun been immovable?"

"Well! my respected father," replied the philosopher, "hasn't the sun been stationary since that time?"

The dog and the Dominican embraced each other, and even the devout Italians were at length convinced that the earth turns round.

The dog and the Dominican hugged each other, and even the devout Italians finally believed that the earth revolves.


An augur and a senator lamented, in the time of Cæsar, the declining state of the republic.

An augur and a senator expressed their concerns, during Cæsar's time, about the weakening state of the republic.

"The times, indeed, are very bad," said the senator, "we have reason to tremble for the liberty of Rome."

"The times are indeed very tough," said the senator, "we have good reason to worry about the freedom of Rome."

"Ah!" said the augur, "that is not the greatest evil; the people now begin to lose the respect which they formerly had for our order. We seem barely to be tolerated—we cease to be necessary. Some generals have the assurance to give battle without consulting us. And, to complete our misfortunes, even those who sell us the sacred pullets begin to reason."

"Ah!" said the augur, "that's not the worst problem; the people are starting to lose the respect they once had for our position. We barely seem to be tolerated—we're becoming unnecessary. Some generals have the nerve to go into battle without asking us. And to top it all off, even those who sell us the sacred chickens are starting to think for themselves."

"Well, and why don't you reason likewise?" replied the senator, "and since the dealers in pullets in the time of Cæsar are more knowing than they were in the time of Numa, ought not you modern augurs to be better philosophers than those who lived in former ages?"

"Well, why don't you think the same?" replied the senator. "Since the chicken sellers in Caesar's time knew more than those in Numa's time, shouldn't you modern soothsayers be better thinkers than those who came before you?"

[1] This dragon was of the same species, Draco Volans, as the savage reptile slain by St. George, the patron saint of England, or the sleepless dragon at Colchis, from which Jason rescued the golden fleece. The bible history abounds with allusions to dragons, and with prophecies of their coming exploits in the stellar spheres. These marvels may be considered, however, as more strange than credible, and more ancient than authentic—E.

[1] This dragon belonged to the same species, Draco Volans, as the fierce creature killed by St. George, the patron saint of England, or the restless dragon at Colchis, from which Jason retrieved the golden fleece. The Bible is full of references to dragons and prophecies about their future deeds in the stars. However, these wonders might be seen as more extraordinary than believable, and more ancient than genuine—E.

[2] In Rev. XII: 3, 4, the Dragon is represented as deftly seizing one-third of the stars of heaven with his tail, and rudely wresting them in dire confusion from the celestial spheres.—E.

[2] In Rev. XII: 3, 4, the Dragon is shown skillfully grabbing one-third of the stars from the sky with his tail, and forcefully tearing them away in chaos from the heavenly realms.—E.


ILLUSTRATIONS.

ILLUSTRATIONS.

Voltaire, by HoudonFrontispiece.Preservers of Ancient Customs
Voltaire, at seventyDancing a Tambourin
Ancient Writing implements, from PompeiiClio, the Muse of History
Voltaire in early manhoodThe Tax Collector
The White BullBarefooted Carmelites
ApisEntering the Convent
SilenceThe Rack
AmasidiaThe Priory Entrance
The Witch of EndorThe Huron Identified
The SerpentBaptism of Hercules
NebuchadnezzarThe Separation
Lot and his FamilyThe Confessional
Daniel, Ezekiel & JeremiahFather Tout-à-Tous
Egyptian PriestsThe Meeting
Winged BullDeath of Miss St. Yves
The Scape GoatA Medieval Exploring Vessel
Caravan approaching BabylonMicromegas captures a Ship
The CupThe Spiritual Rulers of Persepolis
Egyptian ArcherBurying the Dead in Churches
The Funeral PyreGood and Evil Genii
Oannes—The Fish GodYoung Memnon
AlmonaMemnon and the Distressed Ninevite
Zadig and the BrigandDes Touches and Croutef
The BasiliskBoodh supported by Serpents
Zadig and the QueenThe Fakir
Cador concealing AstarteThe Sphinx
The CombatsThe Study of Nature
The HermitThe Poor Clergyman
Freind and his wayward SonKwan-yin, Burmese, Buddha, and Chinese Ivory Figure
Don Jeronimo Bueno CaracuradorThe Birth of Minerva and Eve—Androgynous Deities
Condemned by the InquisitionBacchus and Ariadne
Epictetus the SlaveEnvy
Grand Entrance to PalacePlato
The PhœnixVisiting Seignor Pococurante
The King of Scythia rescued from the LionThe "Yawning Oysters"
The Shrine at BassoraThe School at Issoire
Consulting the OracleJeannot and Colin
Religious Wars in AlbionBrahma, Vishna, and Siva
The Old Man of the Seven MountainsThe happy Bigot
Kissing an Old Man's ToeThe Winged Dragon
Gaiety and Frivolity

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