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The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists
by Robert Tressell
CONTENTS
Preface
In writing this book my intention was to present, in the form of an interesting story, a faithful picture of working-class life—more especially of those engaged in the Building trades—in a small town in the south of England.
In writing this book, my aim was to share, through an engaging story, an accurate depiction of working-class life—especially for those in the building trades—in a small town in southern England.
I wished to describe the relations existing between the workmen and their employers, the attitude and feelings of these two classes towards each other; their circumstances when at work and when out of employment; their pleasures, their intellectual outlook, their religious and political opinions and ideals.
I wanted to describe the relationship between workers and their employers, the attitudes and feelings these two groups have towards each other; their situations while working and when unemployed; their joys, their intellectual perspectives, and their religious and political beliefs and ideals.
The action of the story covers a period of only a little over twelve months, but in order that the picture might be complete it was necessary to describe how the workers are circumstanced at all periods of their lives, from the cradle to the grave. Therefore the characters include women and children, a young boy—the apprentice—some improvers, journeymen in the prime of life, and worn-out old men.
The story takes place over just a little more than twelve months, but to give a complete picture, it was important to show how workers are positioned at every stage of their lives, from birth to death. As a result, the characters include women and children, a young boy—an apprentice—some trainees, skilled workers in their prime, and exhausted older men.
I designed to show the conditions relating from poverty and unemployment: to expose the futility of the measures taken to deal with them and to indicate what I believe to be the only real remedy, namely—Socialism. I intended to explain what Socialists understand by the word “poverty”: to define the Socialist theory of the causes of poverty, and to explain how Socialists propose to abolish poverty.
I aimed to highlight the issues linked to poverty and unemployment: to showcase the ineffectiveness of the actions taken to address them and to point out what I believe to be the true solution—Socialism. I planned to clarify what Socialists mean by "poverty," define the Socialist theory on the causes of poverty, and explain how Socialists intend to eliminate poverty.
It may be objected that, considering the number of books dealing with these subjects already existing, such a work as this was uncalled for. The answer is that not only are the majority of people opposed to Socialism, but a very brief conversation with an average anti-socialist is sufficient to show that he does not know what Socialism means. The same is true of all the anti-socialist writers and the “great statesmen” who make anti-socialist speeches: unless we believe that they are deliberate liars and imposters, who to serve their own interests labour to mislead other people, we must conclude that they do not understand Socialism. There is no other possible explanation of the extraordinary things they write and say. The thing they cry out against is not Socialism but a phantom of their own imagining.
It might be argued that, given the number of books on these topics already available, this work is unnecessary. The truth is that most people are against Socialism, and just a short conversation with an average anti-socialist reveals that they don't really understand what Socialism is. The same applies to all the anti-socialist writers and the "great statesmen" who deliver anti-socialist speeches: unless we think they're intentionally lying and misleading others for their own gain, we have to conclude that they don't grasp the concept of Socialism. There’s no other way to explain the bizarre things they say and write. What they protest against is not Socialism but a figment of their own imagination.
Another answer is that “The Philanthropists” is not a treatise or essay, but a novel. My main object was to write a readable story full of human interest and based on the happenings of everyday life, the subject of Socialism being treated incidentally.
Another answer is that “The Philanthropists” is not a formal essay or treatise, but a novel. My main goal was to write an engaging story filled with human interest and grounded in everyday life, with the topic of Socialism addressed as a secondary theme.
This was the task I set myself. To what extent I have succeeded is for others to say; but whatever their verdict, the work possesses at least one merit—that of being true. I have invented nothing. There are no scenes or incidents in the story that I have not either witnessed myself or had conclusive evidence of. As far as I dared I let the characters express themselves in their own sort of language and consequently some passages may be considered objectionable. At the same time I believe that—because it is true—the book is not without its humorous side.
This was the task I set for myself. How well I accomplished it is for others to judge; but regardless of their opinions, the work has at least one merit—it’s genuine. I haven’t made anything up. There are no scenes or events in the story that I haven’t either experienced myself or have solid proof of. I let the characters use their own kind of language as much as I could, so some parts might be seen as controversial. However, I believe that—because it’s true—the book also has its humorous moments.
The scenes and characters are typical of every town in the South of England and they will be readily recognized by those concerned. If the book is published I think it will appeal to a very large number of readers. Because it is true it will probably be denounced as a libel on the working classes and their employers, and upon the religious-professing section of the community. But I believe it will be acknowledged as true by most of those who are compelled to spend their lives amid the surroundings it describes, and it will be evident that no attack is made upon sincere religion.
The scenes and characters are typical of every town in the South of England, and people will easily recognize them. If the book gets published, I believe it will attract a large number of readers. Because it presents the truth, it will likely be criticized as a libel against the working class and their employers, as well as the religious part of the community. However, I think most of those who have to live in the environment it depicts will acknowledge its truth, and it will be clear that no attack is made on sincere religion.
Chapter 1
An Imperial Banquet. A Philosophical Discussion. The
Mysterious Stranger. Britons Never shall be Slaves
The house was named “The Cave”. It was a large old-fashioned three-storied building standing in about an acre of ground, and situated about a mile outside the town of Mugsborough. It stood back nearly two hundred yards from the main road and was reached by means of a by-road or lane, on each side of which was a hedge formed of hawthorn trees and blackberry bushes. This house had been unoccupied for many years and it was now being altered and renovated for its new owner by the firm of Rushton & Co., Builders and Decorators.
The house was called “The Cave.” It was a big, old-fashioned three-story building sitting on about an acre of land, located about a mile outside the town of Mugsborough. It was set back nearly two hundred yards from the main road and could be accessed by a side road or lane, lined on each side with hedges made of hawthorn trees and blackberry bushes. This house had been empty for many years and was now being remodeled and renovated for its new owner by the firm of Rushton & Co., Builders and Decorators.
There were, altogether, about twenty-five men working there, carpenters, plumbers, plasterers, bricklayers and painters, besides several unskilled labourers. New floors were being put in where the old ones were decayed, and upstairs two of the rooms were being made into one by demolishing the parting wall and substituting an iron girder. Some of the window frames and sashes were so rotten that they were being replaced. Some of the ceilings and walls were so cracked and broken that they had to be replastered. Openings were cut through walls and doors were being put where no doors had been before. Old broken chimney pots were being taken down and new ones were being taken up and fixed in their places. All the old whitewash had to be washed off the ceilings and all the old paper had to be scraped off the walls preparatory to the house being repainted and decorated. The air was full of the sounds of hammering and sawing, the ringing of trowels, the rattle of pails, the splashing of water brushes, and the scraping of the stripping knives used by those who were removing the old wallpaper. Besides being full of these the air was heavily laden with dust and disease germs, powdered mortar, lime, plaster, and the dirt that had been accumulating within the old house for years. In brief, those employed there might be said to be living in a Tariff Reform Paradise—they had Plenty of Work.
There were about twenty-five men working there, including carpenters, plumbers, plasterers, bricklayers, and painters, along with several unskilled laborers. New floors were being installed to replace the decayed ones, and upstairs, two rooms were being combined into one by removing the partition wall and adding an iron girder. Some of the window frames and sashes were so rotted that they needed replacing. Several ceilings and walls were so cracked and damaged that they had to be replastered. Openings were cut through walls, and doors were being added where there were none before. Old broken chimney pots were being taken down, and new ones were being put up and secured in their places. All the old whitewash had to be scrubbed off the ceilings, and all the old wallpaper had to be scraped off the walls in preparation for the house to be repainted and decorated. The air was filled with the sounds of hammering and sawing, the clanging of trowels, the rattle of buckets, the splashing of water brushes, and the scraping of stripping knives used by those removing the old wallpaper. In addition to these sounds, the air was thick with dust and germs, powdered mortar, lime, plaster, and dirt that had accumulated in the old house for years. In short, those working there could be said to be living in a Tariff Reform Paradise—they had plenty of work.
At twelve o’clock Bob Crass—the painters’ foreman—blew a blast upon a whistle and all hands assembled in the kitchen, where Bert the apprentice had already prepared the tea, which was ready in the large galvanized iron pail that he had placed in the middle of the floor. By the side of the pail were a number of old jam-jars, mugs, dilapidated tea-cups and one or two empty condensed milk tins. Each man on the “job” paid Bert threepence a week for the tea and sugar—they did not have milk—and although they had tea at breakfast-time as well as at dinner, the lad was generally considered to be making a fortune.
At noon, Bob Crass—the painters’ foreman—blew a whistle, and everyone gathered in the kitchen, where Bert the apprentice had already made the tea, which was ready in the large galvanized iron bucket he had set in the middle of the floor. Next to the bucket were several old jam jars, mugs, worn-out tea cups, and a couple of empty condensed milk cans. Each worker on the “job” paid Bert threepence a week for the tea and sugar—they didn’t have milk—and even though they had tea at both breakfast and dinner, the kid was usually seen as raking in a fortune.
Two pairs of steps, laid parallel on their sides at a distance of about eight feet from each other, with a plank laid across, in front of the fire, several upturned pails, and the drawers belonging to the dresser, formed the seating accommodation. The floor of the room was covered with all manner of debris, dust, dirt, fragments of old mortar and plaster. A sack containing cement was leaning against one of the walls, and a bucket containing some stale whitewash stood in one corner.
Two pairs of steps, set parallel to each other about eight feet apart, with a plank laid across them in front of the fire, a few upturned buckets, and the dresser drawers, made up the seating arrangement. The floor was covered with all kinds of debris, dust, dirt, and bits of old mortar and plaster. A sack of cement was propped against one of the walls, and a bucket of stale whitewash sat in one corner.
As each man came in he filled his cup, jam-jar or condensed milk tin with tea from the steaming pail, before sitting down. Most of them brought their food in little wicker baskets which they held on their laps or placed on the floor beside them.
As each man came in, he filled his cup, jam jar, or condensed milk tin with tea from the steaming pail before sitting down. Most of them brought their food in small wicker baskets that they held on their laps or placed on the floor beside them.
At first there was no attempt at conversation and nothing was heard but the sounds of eating and drinking and the drizzling of the bloater which Easton, one of the painters, was toasting on the end of a pointed stick at the fire.
At first, nobody tried to talk, and all that could be heard was the noise of eating and drinking, along with the sizzling of the bloater that Easton, one of the painters, was toasting on the end of a sharp stick over the fire.
“I don’t think much of this bloody tea,” suddenly remarked Sawkins, one of the labourers.
“I’m not a fan of this damn tea,” suddenly said Sawkins, one of the workers.
“Well it oughter be all right,” retorted Bert; “it’s been bilin’ ever since ’arf past eleven.”
“Well, it should be fine,” replied Bert; “it’s been boiling since half past eleven.”
Bert White was a frail-looking, weedy, pale-faced boy, fifteen years of age and about four feet nine inches in height. His trousers were part of a suit that he had once worn for best, but that was so long ago that they had become too small for him, fitting rather tightly and scarcely reaching the top of his patched and broken hob-nailed boots. The knees and the bottoms of the legs of his trousers had been patched with square pieces of cloth, several shades darker than the original fabric, and these patches were now all in rags. His coat was several sizes too large for him and hung about him like a dirty ragged sack. He was a pitiable spectacle of neglect and wretchedness as he sat there on an upturned pail, eating his bread and cheese with fingers that, like his clothing, were grimed with paint and dirt.
Bert White was a scrawny, weak-looking boy, fifteen years old and about four feet nine inches tall. His pants were from a suit he had once worn for special occasions, but that was so long ago that they were now too small for him, fitting snugly and barely covering the tops of his patched and worn hob-nailed boots. The knees and hems of his pants had been patched with square pieces of fabric, several shades darker than the original material, and these patches were now falling apart. His coat was several sizes too big and hung on him like a dirty, ragged sack. He looked like a sad example of neglect and misery as he sat there on an upturned bucket, eating his bread and cheese with fingers that, like his clothes, were smeared with paint and dirt.
“Well then, you can’t have put enough tea in, or else you’ve bin usin’ up wot was left yesterday,” continued Sawkins.
“Well then, you must not have put in enough tea, or you've used up what was left from yesterday,” continued Sawkins.
“Why the bloody ’ell don’t you leave the boy alone?” said Harlow, another painter. “If you don’t like the tea you needn’t drink it. For my part, I’m sick of listening to you about it every damn day.”
“Why the hell don’t you just leave the kid alone?” said Harlow, another painter. “If you don’t like the tea, you don’t have to drink it. Honestly, I’m tired of hearing you complain about it every single day.”
“It’s all very well for you to say I needn’t drink it,” answered Sawkins, “but I’ve paid my share an’ I’ve got a right to express an opinion. It’s my belief that ’arf the money we gives him is spent on penny ’orribles: ’e’s always got one in ’is hand, an’ to make wot tea ’e does buy last, ’e collects all the slops wot’s left and biles it up day after day.”
“It’s easy for you to say I shouldn’t drink it,” Sawkins replied, “but I’ve paid my share, and I have the right to express my opinion. I believe that half the money we give him is spent on cheap junk; he always has one in his hand, and to stretch the tea he does buy, he collects all the leftover slops and boils them up day after day.”
“No, I don’t!” said Bert, who was on the verge of tears. “It’s not me wot buys the things at all. I gives the money I gets to Crass, and ’e buys them ’imself, so there!”
“No, I don’t!” said Bert, who was about to cry. “It’s not me who buys the stuff at all. I give the money I earn to Crass, and he buys it himself, so there!”
At this revelation, some of the men furtively exchanged significant glances, and Crass, the foreman, became very red.
At this revelation, some of the men secretly exchanged meaningful looks, and Crass, the foreman, turned very red.
“You’d better keep your bloody thruppence and make your own tea after this week,” he said, addressing Sawkins, “and then p’raps we’ll ’ave a little peace at meal-times.”
“You should just keep your damn thruppence and make your own tea after this week,” he said to Sawkins, “and then maybe we’ll have a little peace at mealtimes.”
“An’ you needn’t ask me to cook no bloaters or bacon for you no more,” added Bert, tearfully, ’cos I won’t do it.”
“And you don’t have to ask me to cook any bloaters or bacon for you anymore,” added Bert, tearfully, “because I won’t do it.”
Sawkins was not popular with any of the others. When, about twelve months previously, he first came to work for Rushton & Co., he was a simple labourer, but since then he had “picked up” a slight knowledge of the trade, and having armed himself with a putty-knife and put on a white jacket, regarded himself as a fully qualified painter. The others did not perhaps object to him trying to better his condition, but his wages—fivepence an hour—were twopence an hour less than the standard rate, and the result was that in slack times often a better workman was “stood off” when Sawkins was kept on. Moreover, he was generally regarded as a sneak who carried tales to the foreman and the “Bloke”. Every new hand who was taken on was usually warned by his new mates “not to let the b—r Sawkins see anything.”
Sawkins wasn't liked by anyone else. When he first started working for Rushton & Co. about a year ago, he was just a regular laborer, but since then he's picked up some basic skills in the trade. He equipped himself with a putty knife and put on a white jacket, thinking of himself as a fully qualified painter. The others didn’t really mind him trying to improve his situation, but his pay—five pence an hour—was two pence under the standard rate, which often meant that during slow times, a better worker would be let go while Sawkins would stay. Additionally, he was generally seen as a snitch who reported things to the foreman and the “Bloke.” Every new person hired was typically warned by their new coworkers “not to let that bastard Sawkins see anything.”
The unpleasant silence which now ensued was at length broken by one of the men, who told a dirty story, and in the laughter and applause that followed, the incident of the tea was forgotten.
The awkward silence that followed was finally interrupted by one of the guys, who shared a raunchy joke, and amid the laughter and cheers that came after, the tea incident was completely overlooked.
“How did you get on yesterday?” asked Crass, addressing Bundy, the plasterer, who was intently studying the sporting columns of the Daily Obscurer.
“How did it go for you yesterday?” Crass asked, speaking to Bundy, the plasterer, who was focused on the sports section of the Daily Obscurer.
“No luck,” replied Bundy, gloomily. “I had a bob each way on Stockwell, in the first race, but it was scratched before the start.”
“No luck,” replied Bundy, looking gloomy. “I had a bet on Stockwell for the first race, but it was scratched before it even started.”
This gave rise to a conversation between Crass, Bundy, and one or two others concerning the chances of different horses in the morrow’s races. It was Friday, and no one had much money, so at the suggestion of Bundy, a Syndicate was formed, each member contributing threepence for the purpose of backing a dead certainty given by the renowned Captain Kiddem of the Obscurer. One of those who did not join the syndicate was Frank Owen, who was as usual absorbed in a newspaper. He was generally regarded as a bit of a crank: for it was felt that there must be something wrong about a man who took no interest in racing or football and was always talking a lot of rot about religion and politics. If it had not been for the fact that he was generally admitted to be an exceptionally good workman, they would have had little hesitation about thinking that he was mad. This man was about thirty-two years of age, and of medium height, but so slightly built that he appeared taller. There was a suggestion of refinement in his clean-shaven face, but his complexion was ominously clear, and an unnatural colour flushed the think cheeks.
This led to a conversation among Crass, Bundy, and a couple of others about the chances of various horses in tomorrow's races. It was Friday, and no one had much money, so at Bundy's suggestion, they formed a Syndicate, with each member contributing threepence to back a sure thing suggested by the famous Captain Kiddem from the Obscurer. One person who opted out of the syndicate was Frank Owen, who, as usual, was absorbed in a newspaper. He was generally seen as a bit of a weirdo; people thought there must be something off about a guy who showed no interest in racing or football and constantly talked nonsense about religion and politics. If he weren't such an exceptionally good worker, they would have had no problem thinking he was crazy. This guy was about thirty-two, medium height, but so slight that he seemed taller. There was an air of refinement to his clean-shaven face, but his complexion was worryingly clear, and an unnatural color flushed his thin cheeks.
There was a certain amount of justification for the attitude of his fellow workmen, for Owen held the most unusual and unorthodox opinions on the subjects mentioned.
There was some reason behind the attitude of his coworkers, because Owen had very unusual and unconventional opinions on the topics discussed.
The affairs of the world are ordered in accordance with orthodox opinions. If anyone did not think in accordance with these he soon discovered this fact for himself. Owen saw that in the world a small class of people were possessed of a great abundance and superfluity of the things that are produced by work. He saw also that a very great number—in fact the majority of the people—lived on the verge of want; and that a smaller but still very large number lived lives of semi-starvation from the cradle to the grave; while a yet smaller but still very great number actually died of hunger, or, maddened by privation, killed themselves and their children in order to put a period to their misery. And strangest of all—in his opinion—he saw that people who enjoyed abundance of the things that are made by work, were the people who did Nothing: and that the others, who lived in want or died of hunger, were the people who worked. And seeing all this he thought that it was wrong, that the system that produced such results was rotten and should be altered. And he had sought out and eagerly read the writings of those who thought they knew how it might be done.
The world is organized based on traditional beliefs. If someone didn’t share these views, they quickly realized it. Owen noticed that a small group of people had an overwhelming abundance of the products of labor. He also saw that a large number—indeed, most people—lived on the brink of poverty; while a smaller but still significant number experienced semi-starvation from birth to death; and an even smaller group actually died from hunger or, driven to madness by deprivation, took their own lives and their children's to end their suffering. Strangest of all, in his eyes, he observed that the people enjoying the abundance of goods created by labor were the ones who did nothing, while those who lived in poverty or starved were the ones who worked. Witnessing all this, he believed it was wrong and thought the system that led to such outcomes was corrupt and needed to change. He sought out and eagerly read the works of those who claimed to know how it could be done.
It was because he was in the habit of speaking of these subjects that his fellow workmen came to the conclusion that there was probably something wrong with his mind.
It was because he often talked about these subjects that his coworkers concluded there was probably something off with his mind.
When all the members of the syndicate had handed over their contributions, Bundy went out to arrange matters with the bookie, and when he had gone Easton annexed the copy of the Obscurer that Bundy had thrown away, and proceeded to laboriously work through some carefully cooked statistics relating to Free Trade and Protection. Bert, his eyes starting out of his head and his mouth wide open, was devouring the contents of a paper called The Chronicles of Crime. Ned Dawson, a poor devil who was paid fourpence an hour for acting as mate or labourer to Bundy, or the bricklayers, or anyone else who wanted him, lay down on the dirty floor in a corner of the room and with his coat rolled up as a pillow, went to sleep. Sawkins, with the same intention, stretched himself at full length on the dresser. Another who took no part in the syndicate was Barrington, a labourer, who, having finished his dinner, placed the cup he brought for his tea back into his dinner basket, took out an old briar pipe which he slowly filled, and proceeded to smoke in silence.
When all the members of the syndicate had submitted their contributions, Bundy went out to sort things out with the bookie. Once he left, Easton grabbed the copy of the Obscurer that Bundy had tossed aside and began to meticulously sift through some detailed statistics about Free Trade and Protection. Bert, his eyes wide and mouth agape, was eagerly reading a paper called The Chronicles of Crime. Ned Dawson, a poor guy who earned fourpence an hour working as a mate or laborer for Bundy, the bricklayers, or anyone else who needed him, lay down on the filthy floor in a corner of the room, using his rolled-up coat as a pillow, and fell asleep. Sawkins, with the same idea, sprawled out on the dresser. Another person not involved in the syndicate was Barrington, a laborer. After finishing his meal, he put the cup he brought for tea back in his lunch basket, pulled out an old briar pipe that he slowly filled, and started smoking in silence.
Some time previously the firm had done some work for a wealthy gentleman who lived in the country, some distance outside Mugsborough. This gentleman also owned some property in the town and it was commonly reported that he had used his influence with Rushton to induce the latter to give Barrington employment. It was whispered amongst the hands that the young man was a distant relative of the gentleman’s, and that he had disgraced himself in some way and been disowned by his people. Rushton was supposed to have given him a job in the hope of currying favour with his wealthy client, from whom he hoped to obtain more work. Whatever the explanation of the mystery may have been, the fact remained that Barrington, who knew nothing of the work except what he had learned since he had been taken on, was employed as a painter’s labourer at the usual wages—fivepence per hour.
Some time earlier, the company had done some work for a wealthy man who lived in the countryside, not far from Mugsborough. This man also owned property in town, and it was often said that he had used his connections with Rushton to persuade him to hire Barrington. People whispered among the workers that the young man was a distant relative of the gentleman’s, and that he had somehow disgraced himself and been cut off by his family. Rushton was believed to have given him a job in hopes of pleasing his wealthy client, from whom he wanted to get more work. Whatever the reason behind the mystery, the fact was that Barrington, who knew nothing about the work except what he had learned since starting, was hired as a painter’s laborer at the usual pay—five pence per hour.
He was about twenty-five years of age and a good deal taller than the majority of the others, being about five feet ten inches in height and slenderly though well and strongly built. He seemed very anxious to learn all that he could about the trade, and although rather reserved in his manner, he had contrived to make himself fairly popular with his workmates. He seldom spoke unless to answer when addressed, and it was difficult to draw him into conversation. At meal-times, as on the present occasion, he generally smoked, apparently lost in thought and unconscious of his surroundings.
He was around twenty-five years old and significantly taller than most of the others, standing about five feet ten inches tall and slender, yet well-built. He was very eager to learn everything he could about the trade, and although he was somewhat reserved, he managed to become reasonably popular with his coworkers. He rarely spoke unless someone addressed him, and it was hard to engage him in conversation. At mealtimes, like on this occasion, he usually smoked, seemingly lost in thought and unaware of his surroundings.
Most of the others also lit their pipes and a desultory conversation ensued.
Most of the others also lit their pipes, and a scattered conversation followed.
“Is the gent what’s bought this ’ouse any relation to Sweater the draper?” asked Payne, the carpenter’s foreman.
“Is the guy who bought this house any relation to Sweater the draper?” asked Payne, the carpenter’s foreman.
“It’s the same bloke,” replied Crass.
“It's the same guy,” replied Crass.
“Didn’t he used to be on the Town Council or something?”
“Wasn’t he on the Town Council or something?”
“’E’s bin on the Council for years,” returned Crass. “’E’s on it now. ’E’s mayor this year. ’E’s bin mayor several times before.”
“He's been on the Council for years,” Crass replied. “He's on it now. He's the mayor this year. He's been mayor several times before.”
“Let’s see,” said Payne, reflectively, “’e married old Grinder’s sister, didn’t ’e? You know who I mean, Grinder the greengrocer.”
“Let’s see,” Payne said thoughtfully, “he married old Grinder’s sister, didn’t he? You know who I mean, Grinder the greengrocer.”
“Yes, I believe he did,” said Crass.
“Yes, I think he did,” said Crass.
“It wasn’t Grinder’s sister,” chimed in old Jack Linden. “It was ’is niece. I know, because I remember working in their ’ouse just after they was married, about ten year ago.”
“It wasn’t Grinder’s sister,” chimed in old Jack Linden. “It was his niece. I know because I remember working in their house right after they got married, about ten years ago.”
“Oh yes, I remember now,” said Payne. “She used to manage one of Grinder’s branch shops didn’t she?”
“Oh yes, I remember now,” said Payne. “She used to run one of Grinder’s branch stores, didn’t she?”
“Yes,” replied Linden. “I remember it very well because there was a lot of talk about it at the time. By all accounts, ole Sweater used to be a regler ’ot un: no one never thought as he’d ever git married at all: there was some funny yarns about several young women what used to work for him.”
“Yes,” replied Linden. “I remember it clearly because there was a lot of buzz about it back then. Apparently, old Sweater was quite the catch: no one ever thought he would get married at all; there were some funny stories about several young women who used to work for him.”
This important matter being disposed of, there followed a brief silence, which was presently broken by Harlow.
This important issue settled, there was a short silence, which Harlow soon interrupted.
“Funny name to call a ’ouse, ain’t it?” he said. “‘The Cave.’ I wonder what made ’em give it a name like that.”
“Funny name to call a house, isn’t it?” he said. “‘The Cave.’ I wonder what made them name it that.”
“They calls ’em all sorts of outlandish names nowadays,” said old Jack Linden.
“They call them all sorts of crazy names nowadays,” said old Jack Linden.
“There’s generally some sort of meaning to it, though,” observed Payne. “For instance, if a bloke backed a winner and made a pile, ’e might call ’is ’ouse, ‘Epsom Lodge’ or ‘Newmarket Villa’.”
“There's usually some kind of meaning behind it,” Payne remarked. “For example, if a guy backed a winner and made a fortune, he might name his house ‘Epsom Lodge’ or ‘Newmarket Villa.’”
“Or sometimes there’s a hoak tree or a cherry tree in the garding,” said another man; “then they calls it ‘Hoak Lodge’ or ‘Cherry Cottage’.”
“Or sometimes there’s a hawthorn tree or a cherry tree in the garden,” said another man; “then they call it ‘Hawthorn Lodge’ or ‘Cherry Cottage.’”
“Well, there’s a cave up at the end of this garden,” said Harlow with a grin, “you know, the cesspool, what the drains of the ’ouse runs into; praps they called it after that.”
“Well, there’s a cave at the end of this garden,” Harlow said with a grin, “you know, the cesspool where the drains of the house run into; maybe they named it after that.”
“Talking about the drains,” said old Jack Linden when the laughter produced by this elegant joke had ceased. “Talking about the drains, I wonder what they’re going to do about them; the ’ouse ain’t fit to live in as they are now, and as for that bloody cesspool it ought to be done away with.”
“Speaking of the drains,” said old Jack Linden when the laughter from this clever joke had died down. “Speaking of the drains, I wonder what they’re going to do about them; the place isn’t fit to live in as they are now, and that nasty cesspool really needs to be fixed.”
“So it is going to be,” replied Crass. “There’s going to be a new set of drains altogether, carried right out to the road and connected with the main.”
“So it’s going to be,” replied Crass. “There’s going to be a whole new set of drains, going all the way out to the road and connected to the main.”
Crass really knew no more about what was going to be done in this matter than did Linden, but he felt certain that this course would be adopted. He never missed an opportunity of enhancing his own prestige with the men by insinuating that he was in the confidence of the firm.
Crass didn't know any more about what was going to happen in this situation than Linden did, but he was sure that this approach would be taken. He never missed a chance to boost his own status with the guys by suggesting that he was in the loop with the company.
“That’s goin’ to cost a good bit,” said Linden.
"That's going to cost a lot," said Linden.
“Yes, I suppose it will,” replied Crass, “but money ain’t no object to old Sweater. ’E’s got tons of it; you know ’e’s got a large wholesale business in London and shops all over the bloody country, besides the one ’e’s got ’ere.”
“Yeah, I guess it will,” replied Crass, “but money isn’t an issue for old Sweater. He’s got loads of it; you know he runs a big wholesale business in London and shops all over the damn country, besides the one he has here.”
Easton was still reading the Obscurer; he was not about to understand exactly what the compiler of the figures was driving at—probably the latter never intended that anyone should understand—but he was conscious of a growing feeling of indignation and hatred against foreigners of every description, who were ruining this country, and he began to think that it was about time we did something to protect ourselves. Still, it was a very difficult question: to tell the truth, he himself could not make head or tail of it. At length he said aloud, addressing himself to Crass:
Easton was still reading the Obscurer; he didn’t fully get what the person who put together the numbers was trying to convey—probably they never aimed for anyone to understand—but he felt a rising sense of anger and hatred towards foreigners of all kinds, who were destroying this country. He started to think it was high time we took some action to defend ourselves. Still, it was a really complicated issue: to be honest, he couldn’t make heads or tails of it himself. Finally, he spoke up, directing his words to Crass:
“Wot do you think of this ’ere fissical policy, Bob?”
“Hey, what do you think of this fiscal policy, Bob?”
“Ain’t thought much about it,” replied Crass. “I don’t never worry my ’ed about politics.”
“Ain’t thought much about it,” replied Crass. “I don’t ever worry my head about politics.”
“Much better left alone,” chimed in old Jack Linden sagely, “argyfying about politics generally ends up with a bloody row an’ does no good to nobody.”
“It's much better to keep it to yourself,” old Jack Linden chimed in wisely, “arguing about politics usually just leads to a huge fight and doesn't help anyone.”
At this there was a murmur of approval from several of the others. Most of them were averse from arguing or disputing about politics. If two or three men of similar opinions happened to be together they might discuss such things in a friendly and superficial way, but in a mixed company it was better left alone. The “Fissical Policy” emanated from the Tory party. That was the reason why some of them were strongly in favour of it, and for the same reason others were opposed to it. Some of them were under the delusion that they were Conservatives: similarly, others imagined themselves to be Liberals. As a matter of fact, most of them were nothing. They knew as much about the public affairs of their own country as they did of the condition of affairs in the planet of Jupiter.
At this, several others murmured their approval. Most of them didn’t want to argue or debate politics. If two or three like-minded men found themselves together, they might chat about things in a friendly and light way, but in a mixed group, it was better to avoid it. The “Fissical Policy” came from the Tory party. That’s why some of them strongly supported it, and for the same reason, others opposed it. Some were under the illusion that they were Conservatives; similarly, others believed they were Liberals. In reality, most of them were neither. They knew as much about the public affairs of their own country as they did about the situation on Jupiter.
Easton began to regret that he had broached so objectionable a subject, when, looking up from his paper, Owen said:
Easton started to regret bringing up such an uncomfortable topic when, looking up from his paper, Owen said:
“Does the fact that you never ‘trouble your heads about politics’ prevent you from voting at election times?”
“Does the fact that you never ‘worry about politics’ stop you from voting during elections?”
No one answered, and there ensued a brief silence. Easton however, in spite of the snub he had received, could not refrain from talking.
No one replied, and a short silence followed. Easton, however, despite the rejection he had faced, couldn't help but speak up.
“Well, I don’t go in for politics much, either, but if what’s in this ’ere paper is true, it seems to me as we oughter take some interest in it, when the country is being ruined by foreigners.”
“Well, I don’t really care for politics much either, but if what’s in this paper is true, it seems to me that we should take some interest in it, especially when the country is being ruined by outsiders.”
“If you’re going to believe all that’s in that bloody rag you’ll want some salt,” said Harlow.
“If you’re going to believe everything in that damn tabloid, you'll need some salt,” said Harlow.
The Obscurer was a Tory paper and Harlow was a member of the local Liberal club. Harlow’s remark roused Crass.
The Obscurer was a Tory newspaper, and Harlow was part of the local Liberal club. Harlow's comment got Crass fired up.
“Wot’s the use of talkin’ like that?” he said; “you know very well that the country IS being ruined by foreigners. Just go to a shop to buy something; look round the place an’ you’ll see that more than ’arf the damn stuff comes from abroad. They’re able to sell their goods ’ere because they don’t ’ave to pay no dooty, but they takes care to put ’eavy dooties on our goods to keep ’em out of their countries; and I say it’s about time it was stopped.”
“What's the point of talking like that?” he said; “you know very well that the country is being ruined by foreigners. Just go to a store to buy something; look around and you'll see that more than half the stuff comes from abroad. They can sell their goods here because they don’t have to pay any duties, but they make sure to put heavy duties on our goods to keep them out of their countries; and I say it’s about time that was stopped.”
“’Ear, ’ear,” said Linden, who always agreed with Crass, because the latter, being in charge of the job, had it in his power to put in a good—or a bad—word for a man to the boss. “’Ear, ’ear! Now that’s wot I call common sense.”
“Here, here,” said Linden, who always agreed with Crass because Crass, being in charge of the job, could influence how the boss viewed a man. “Here, here! Now that’s what I call common sense.”
Several other men, for the same reason as Linden, echoed Crass’s sentiments, but Owen laughed contemptuously.
Several other men, for the same reason as Linden, echoed Crass's feelings, but Owen laughed with disdain.
“Yes, it’s quite true that we gets a lot of stuff from foreign countries,” said Harlow, “but they buys more from us than we do from them.”
“Yes, it's true that we get a lot of stuff from foreign countries,” said Harlow, “but they buy more from us than we do from them.”
“Now you think you know a ’ell of a lot,” said Crass. “’Ow much more did they buy from us last year, than we did from them?”
“Now you think you know a lot,” said Crass. “How much more did they buy from us last year than we bought from them?”
Harlow looked foolish: as a matter of fact his knowledge of the subject was not much wider than Crass’s. He mumbled something about not having no ’ed for figures, and offered to bring full particulars next day.
Harlow looked ridiculous: in fact, his knowledge of the subject wasn't much broader than Crass’s. He mumbled something about not having a head for numbers and offered to bring full details the next day.
“You’re wot I call a bloody windbag,” continued Crass; “you’ve got a ’ell of a lot to say, but wen it comes to the point you don’t know nothin’.”
“You're what I call a total windbag,” Crass continued; “you’ve got a lot to say, but when it comes down to it, you don’t know anything.”
“Why, even ’ere in Mugsborough,” chimed in Sawkins—who though still lying on the dresser had been awakened by the shouting—“We’re overrun with ’em! Nearly all the waiters and the cook at the Grand Hotel where we was working last month is foreigners.”
“Why, even here in Mugsborough,” chimed in Sawkins—who, although still lying on the dresser, had been awakened by the shouting—“We’re overrun with them! Almost all the waiters and the cook at the Grand Hotel where we worked last month are foreigners.”
“Yes,” said old Joe Philpot, tragically, “and then thers all them Hitalian horgin grinders, an’ the blokes wot sells ’ot chestnuts; an’ wen I was goin’ ’ome last night I see a lot of them Frenchies sellin’ hunions, an’ a little wile afterwards I met two more of ’em comin’ up the street with a bear.”
“Yes,” said old Joe Philpot, sadly, “and then there are all those Italian organ grinders, and the guys who sell hot chestnuts; and when I was going home last night, I saw a bunch of those French guys selling onions, and a little while later, I met two more of them coming up the street with a bear.”
Notwithstanding the disquieting nature of this intelligence, Owen again laughed, much to the indignation of the others, who thought it was a very serious state of affairs. It was a dam’ shame that these people were allowed to take the bread out of English people’s mouths: they ought to be driven into the bloody sea.
Notwithstanding the troubling nature of this news, Owen laughed again, much to the anger of the others, who believed it was a very serious situation. It was a damn shame that these people were allowed to take food out of English people's mouths: they should be kicked into the bloody sea.
And so the talk continued, principally carried on by Crass and those who agreed with him. None of them really understood the subject: not one of them had ever devoted fifteen consecutive minutes to the earnest investigation of it. The papers they read were filled with vague and alarming accounts of the quantities of foreign merchandise imported into this country, the enormous number of aliens constantly arriving, and their destitute conditions, how they lived, the crimes they committed, and the injury they did to British trade. These were the seeds which, cunningly sown in their minds, caused to grow up within them a bitter undiscriminating hatred of foreigners. To them the mysterious thing they variously called the “Friscal Policy”, the “Fistical Policy”, or the “Fissical Question” was a great Anti-Foreign Crusade. The country was in a hell of a state, poverty, hunger and misery in a hundred forms had already invaded thousands of homes and stood upon the thresholds of thousands more. How came these things to be? It was the bloody foreigner! Therefore, down with the foreigners and all their works. Out with them. Drive them b—s into the bloody sea! The country would be ruined if not protected in some way. This Friscal, Fistical, Fissical or whatever the hell policy it was called, WAS Protection, therefore no one but a bloody fool could hesitate to support it. It was all quite plain—quite simple. One did not need to think twice about it. It was scarcely necessary to think about it at all.
And so the conversation continued, primarily driven by Crass and his supporters. None of them really understood the topic: not one had ever spent fifteen consecutive minutes seriously investigating it. The articles they read were filled with vague and frightening reports about the amount of foreign goods coming into the country, the huge number of immigrants arriving all the time, and their impoverished conditions, how they lived, the crimes they committed, and the harm they caused to British trade. These were the ideas that, cleverly planted in their minds, led to a deep and indiscriminate hatred of foreigners. To them, the mysterious thing they variously called the “Friscal Policy,” the “Fistical Policy,” or the “Fissical Question” was a major Anti-Foreign Crusade. The country was in terrible shape; poverty, hunger, and misery in many forms had already invaded thousands of homes and were on the brink of affecting thousands more. How did this happen? It was the damn foreigners! So, down with the foreigners and everything they stand for. Get rid of them. Drive them into the damn sea! The country would be ruined if it wasn't protected somehow. This Friscal, Fistical, Fissical—or whatever the hell it was called—WAS Protection, so only a complete idiot would hesitate to support it. It was all very clear—very straightforward. You didn't need to think twice about it. It was hardly necessary to think about it at all.
This was the conclusion reached by Crass and such of his mates who thought they were Conservatives—the majority of them could not have read a dozen sentences aloud without stumbling—it was not necessary to think or study or investigate anything. It was all as clear as daylight. The foreigner was the enemy, and the cause of poverty and bad trade.
This was the conclusion that Crass and some of his friends, who considered themselves Conservatives, came to—the majority of them wouldn’t have been able to read a dozen sentences out loud without tripping over the words—it wasn’t necessary to think, study, or investigate anything. It was all as clear as day. The foreigner was the enemy and the reason for poverty and poor trade.
When the storm had in some degree subsided,
When the storm had calmed down a bit,
“Some of you seem to think,” said Owen, sneeringly, “that it was a great mistake on God’s part to make so many foreigners. You ought to hold a mass meeting about it: pass a resolution something like this: ‘This meeting of British Christians hereby indignantly protests against the action of the Supreme Being in having created so many foreigners, and calls upon him to forthwith rain down fire, brimstone and mighty rocks upon the heads of all those Philistines, so that they may be utterly exterminated from the face of the earth, which rightly belongs to the British people’.”
“Some of you seem to think,” Owen said mockingly, “that it was a huge mistake for God to create so many foreigners. You should hold a big meeting about it: pass a resolution like this: ‘This meeting of British Christians hereby protests with outrage against the actions of the Supreme Being for creating so many foreigners, and calls on Him to immediately rain down fire, brimstone, and massive rocks on the heads of all those Philistines, so that they can be completely wiped off the face of the earth, which rightfully belongs to the British people.’”
Crass looked very indignant, but could think of nothing to say in answer to Owen, who continued:
Crass looked really upset, but couldn't think of anything to say in response to Owen, who went on:
“A little while ago you made the remark that you never trouble yourself about what you call politics, and some of the rest agreed with you that to do so is not worth while. Well, since you never ‘worry’ yourself about these things, it follows that you know nothing about them; yet you do not hesitate to express the most decided opinions concerning matters of which you admittedly know nothing. Presently, when there is an election, you will go and vote in favour of a policy of which you know nothing. I say that since you never take the trouble to find out which side is right or wrong you have no right to express any opinion. You are not fit to vote. You should not be allowed to vote.”
“A little while ago, you mentioned that you never concern yourself with what you call politics, and some others agreed that it’s not worth the effort. Well, since you never ‘worry’ about these things, it follows that you know nothing about them; yet you don’t hesitate to share strong opinions on matters you openly admit to knowing nothing about. Soon, when there’s an election, you’ll go and vote for a policy you know nothing about. I say that since you never bother to find out which side is right or wrong, you have no right to express any opinion. You’re not fit to vote. You shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”
Crass was by this time very angry.
Crass was really angry by this point.
“I pays my rates and taxes,” he shouted, “an’ I’ve got as much right to express an opinion as you ’ave. I votes for who the bloody ’ell I likes. I shan’t arst your leave nor nobody else’s! Wot the ’ell’s it got do with you who I votes for?”
“I pay my rates and taxes,” he shouted, “and I have just as much right to express an opinion as you do. I vote for whoever the heck I want. I won’t ask your permission or anyone else’s! What the heck does it matter to you who I vote for?”
“It has a great deal to do with me. If you vote for Protection you will be helping to bring it about, and if you succeed, and if Protection is the evil that some people say it is, I shall be one of those who will suffer. I say you have no right to vote for a policy which may bring suffering upon other people, without taking the trouble to find out whether you are helping to make things better or worse.”
“It really affects me a lot. If you vote for Protection, you’re helping to bring it about, and if it works out and Protection is as harmful as some people claim, I’ll be one of those who ends up suffering. I believe you have no right to vote for a policy that could cause pain for others without bothering to see if you’re actually making things better or worse.”
Owen had risen from his seat and was walking up and down the room emphasizing his words with excited gestures.
Owen had gotten up from his seat and was pacing the room, emphasizing his words with energetic gestures.
“As for not trying to find out wot side is right,” said Crass, somewhat overawed by Owen’s manner and by what he thought was the glare of madness in the latter’s eyes, “I reads the Ananias every week, and I generally takes the Daily Chloroform, or the Hobscurer, so I ought to know summat about it.”
“As for not trying to figure out which side is right,” said Crass, a bit intimidated by Owen’s attitude and what he thought was a mad glare in his eyes, “I read the Ananias every week, and I usually take the Daily Chloroform or the Hobscurer, so I should know something about it.”
“Just listen to this,” interrupted Easton, wishing to create a diversion and beginning to read from the copy of the Obscurer which he still held in his hand:
“Just listen to this,” Easton interrupted, trying to change the subject as he began reading from the copy of the Obscurer that he still held in his hand:
“GREAT DISTRESS IN MUGSBOROUGH.
HUNDREDS OUT OF EMPLOYMENT.
WORK OF THE CHARITY SOCIETY.
789 CASES ON THE BOOKS.
“Great as was the distress among the working classes last year, unfortunately there seems every prospect that before the winter which has just commenced is over the distress will be even more acute.
“Even though the suffering among the working class last year was significant, sadly, it looks like there's a good chance that by the end of this winter, the suffering will be even worse.”
Already the Charity Society and kindred associations are relieving more cases than they did at the corresponding time last year. Applications to the Board of Guardians have also been much more numerous, and the Soup Kitchen has had to open its doors on Nov. 7th a fortnight earlier than usual. The number of men, women and children provided with meals is three or four times greater than last year.”
Already, the Charity Society and similar organizations are helping more cases than they did at the same time last year. Applications to the Board of Guardians have also increased significantly, and the Soup Kitchen had to open its doors on November 7th, two weeks earlier than usual. The number of men, women, and children receiving meals is three or four times greater than last year.
Easton stopped: reading was hard work to him.
Easton stopped: reading was tough for him.
“There’s a lot more,” he said, “about starting relief works: two shillings a day for married men and one shilling for single and something about there’s been 1,572 quarts of soup given to poor families wot was not even able to pay a penny, and a lot more. And ’ere’s another thing, an advertisement:
“There's a lot more,” he said, “about starting relief efforts: two shillings a day for married men and one shilling for single men, and something about how there have been 1,572 quarts of soup given to poor families who couldn't even afford to pay a penny, and much more. And here’s another thing, an advertisement:
“THE SUFFERING POOR
Sir: Distress among the poor is so acute that I earnestly ask you for aid for The Salvation Army’s great Social work on their behalf. Some 600 are being sheltered nightly. Hundreds are found work daily. Soup and bread are distributed in the midnight hours to homeless wanderers in London. Additional workshops for the unemployed have been established. Our Social Work for men, women and children, for the characterless and the outcast, is the largest and oldest organized effort of its kind in the country, and greatly needs help. £10,000 is required before Christmas Day. Gifts may be made to any specific section or home, if desired. Can you please send us something to keep the work going? Please address cheques, crossed Bank of England (Law Courts Branch), to me at 101, Queen Victoria Street, EC. Balance Sheets and Reports upon application.
Sir: The situation for the poor is so severe that I sincerely request your assistance for The Salvation Army’s significant social work on their behalf. About 600 people are housed every night. Hundreds find work each day. Soup and bread are distributed at midnight to homeless individuals roaming the streets of London. We have also established additional workshops for the unemployed. Our social work for men, women, and children, including those struggling with character and the outcast, is the largest and oldest organized effort of its kind in the country and is in urgent need of support. We require £10,000 before Christmas Day. Contributions can be made to any specific section or home, if preferred. Could you please send us something to keep the work going? Please make cheques payable to me at 101, Queen Victoria Street, EC, crossed Bank of England (Law Courts Branch). Balance Sheets and Reports are available upon request.
“BRAMWELL BOOTH.”
“Bramwell Booth.”
“Oh, that’s part of the great ’appiness an’ prosperity wot Owen makes out Free Trade brings,” said Crass with a jeering laugh.
“Oh, that’s part of the great happiness and prosperity that Owen claims Free Trade brings,” said Crass with a mocking laugh.
“I never said Free Trade brought happiness or prosperity,” said Owen.
“I never said Free Trade brought happiness or prosperity,” Owen said.
“Well, praps you didn’t say exactly them words, but that’s wot it amounts to.”
“Well, maybe you didn’t say those exact words, but that’s what it comes down to.”
“I never said anything of the kind. We’ve had Free Trade for the last fifty years and today most people are living in a condition of more or less abject poverty, and thousands are literally starving. When we had Protection things were worse still. Other countries have Protection and yet many of their people are glad to come here and work for starvation wages. The only difference between Free Trade and Protection is that under certain circumstances one might be a little worse than the other, but as remedies for Poverty, neither of them are of any real use whatever, for the simple reason that they do not deal with the real causes of Poverty.”
“I never said anything like that. We’ve had Free Trade for the last fifty years, and today most people are living in pretty much abject poverty, with thousands literally starving. When we had Protection, things were even worse. Other countries have Protection, and yet many of their people are eager to come here and work for starvation wages. The only difference between Free Trade and Protection is that under certain circumstances one might be a little worse than the other, but as solutions for Poverty, neither of them are really useful at all, simply because they don’t address the actual causes of Poverty.”
“The greatest cause of poverty is hover-population,” remarked Harlow.
“The biggest cause of poverty is overpopulation,” Harlow pointed out.
“Yes,” said old Joe Philpot. “If a boss wants two men, twenty goes after the job: ther’s too many people and not enough work.”
“Yes,” said old Joe Philpot. “If a boss needs two guys, twenty will go after the job: there are too many people and not enough work.”
“Over-population!” cried Owen, “when there’s thousands of acres of uncultivated land in England without a house or human being to be seen. Is over-population the cause of poverty in France? Is over-population the cause of poverty in Ireland? Within the last fifty years the population of Ireland has been reduced by more than half. Four millions of people have been exterminated by famine or got rid of by emigration, but they haven’t got rid of poverty. P’raps you think that half the people in this country ought to be exterminated as well.”
“Overpopulation!” Owen exclaimed, “when there are thousands of acres of uncultivated land in England with no houses or people in sight. Is overpopulation the reason for poverty in France? Is overpopulation the reason for poverty in Ireland? In the last fifty years, Ireland’s population has dropped by more than half. Four million people have perished from famine or left through emigration, yet they haven’t escaped poverty. Maybe you think that half the people in this country should be wiped out too.”
Here Owen was seized with a violent fit of coughing, and resumed his seat. When the cough had ceased he sat wiping his mouth with his handkerchief and listening to the talk that ensued.
Here, Owen was struck by a harsh fit of coughing and took his seat again. Once the coughing stopped, he sat there wiping his mouth with his handkerchief and listening to the conversation that followed.
“Drink is the cause of most of the poverty,” said Slyme.
“Alcohol is the root of most poverty,” said Slyme.
This young man had been through some strange process that he called “conversion”. He had had a “change of ’art” and looked down with pious pity upon those he called “worldly” people. He was not “worldly”, he did not smoke or drink and never went to the theatre. He had an extraordinary notion that total abstinence was one of the fundamental principles of the Christian religion. It never occurred to what he called his mind, that this doctrine is an insult to the Founder of Christianity.
This young man had gone through a strange process he referred to as “conversion.” He had a “change of heart” and looked down with pious pity on those he called “worldly” people. He was not “worldly”; he didn't smoke or drink and never went to the theater. He had an unusual belief that total abstinence was one of the core principles of the Christian religion. It never crossed what he called his mind that this doctrine is an insult to the Founder of Christianity.
“Yes,” said Crass, agreeing with Slyme, “an’ thers plenty of ’em wot’s too lazy to work when they can get it. Some of the b—s who go about pleading poverty ’ave never done a fair day’s work in all their bloody lives. Then thers all this new-fangled machinery,” continued Crass. “That’s wot’s ruinin’ everything. Even in our trade ther’s them machines for trimmin’ wallpaper, an’ now they’ve brought out a paintin’ machine. Ther’s a pump an’ a ’ose pipe, an’ they reckon two men can do as much with this ’ere machine as twenty could without it.”
“Yes,” said Crass, agreeing with Slyme, “and there are plenty of them who are too lazy to work when they can get by without it. Some of the bastards who go around claiming to be poor have never done an honest day's work in their entire lives. Then there's all this new-fangled machinery,” continued Crass. “That’s what's ruining everything. Even in our trade, there are those machines for trimming wallpaper, and now they’ve come out with a painting machine. There’s a pump and a hosepipe, and they say two people can do as much with this machine as twenty could without it.”
“Another thing is women,” said Harlow, “there’s thousands of ’em nowadays doin’ work wot oughter be done by men.”
“Another thing is women,” said Harlow, “there are thousands of them nowadays doing work that should be done by men.”
“In my opinion ther’s too much of this ’ere eddication, nowadays,” remarked old Linden. “Wot the ’ell’s the good of eddication to the likes of us?”
“In my opinion, there’s too much of this education these days,” remarked old Linden. “What’s the point of education for people like us?”
“None whatever,” said Crass, “it just puts foolish idears into people’s ’eds and makes ’em too lazy to work.”
“Not at all,” said Crass, “it just puts silly ideas in people’s heads and makes them too lazy to work.”
Barrington, who took no part in the conversation, still sat silently smoking. Owen was listening to this pitiable farrago with feelings of contempt and wonder. Were they all hopelessly stupid? Had their intelligence never developed beyond the childhood stage? Or was he mad himself?
Barrington, who didn’t join the conversation, kept sitting quietly and smoking. Owen listened to this sad mix of nonsense with a mix of contempt and astonishment. Were they all completely clueless? Had their intelligence never matured past childhood? Or was he the one losing his mind?
“Early marriages is another thing,” said Slyme: “no man oughtn’t to be allowed to get married unless he’s in a position to keep a family.”
“Early marriages are another thing,” said Slyme. “No man should be allowed to get married unless he’s able to support a family.”
“How can marriage be a cause of poverty?” said Owen, contemptuously. “A man who is not married is living an unnatural life. Why don’t you continue your argument a little further and say that the practice of eating and drinking is the cause of poverty or that if people were to go barefoot and naked there would be no poverty? The man who is so poor that he cannot marry is in a condition of poverty already.”
“How can marriage be a cause of poverty?” Owen said with disdain. “A man who isn't married is living an unnatural life. Why don’t you take your argument a step further and claim that eating and drinking cause poverty, or that if people went barefoot and naked, there would be no poverty? A man who is so poor that he can’t marry is already in a state of poverty.”
“Wot I mean,” said Slyme, “is that no man oughtn’t to marry till he’s saved up enough so as to ’ave some money in the bank; an’ another thing, I reckon a man oughtn’t to get married till ’e’s got an ’ouse of ’is own. It’s easy enough to buy one in a building society if you’re in reg’lar work.”
“Here’s what I mean,” said Slyme, “no man should get married until he’s saved up enough to have some money in the bank; and another thing, I think a man shouldn’t marry until he has a house of his own. It’s easy enough to buy one through a building society if you have a steady job.”
At this there was a general laugh.
At this, everyone laughed.
“Why, you bloody fool,” said Harlow, scornfully, “most of us is walkin’ about ’arf our time. It’s all very well for you to talk; you’ve got almost a constant job on this firm. If they’re doin’ anything at all you’re one of the few gets a show in. And another thing,” he added with a sneer, “we don’t all go to the same chapel as old Misery,”
“Why, you clueless idiot,” Harlow said mockingly, “most of us spend half our time just wandering around. It’s easy for you to say that; you have a near-constant job with this company. If they’re doing anything at all, you’re one of the few who gets a chance. And another thing,” he added with a sneer, “not all of us go to the same church as old Misery.”
“Old Misery” was Ruston & Co.’s manager or walking foreman. “Misery” was only one of the nicknames bestowed upon him by the hands: he was also known as “Nimrod” and “Pontius Pilate”.
“Old Misery” was the manager or walking foreman at Ruston & Co. “Misery” was just one of the nicknames given to him by the workers; he was also known as “Nimrod” and “Pontius Pilate.”
“And even if it’s not possible,” Harlow continued, winking at the others, “what’s a man to do during the years he’s savin’ up?”
“And even if it's not possible,” Harlow continued, winking at the others, “what's a guy supposed to do while he's saving up?”
“Well, he must conquer hisself,” said Slyme, getting red.
“Well, he has to conquer himself,” said Slyme, turning red.
“Conquer hisself is right!” said Harlow and the others laughed again.
“Conquering himself is right!” said Harlow, and the others laughed again.
“Of course if a man tried to conquer hisself by his own strength,” replied Slyme, “’e would be sure to fail, but when you’ve got the Grace of God in you it’s different.”
“Of course, if a man tried to conquer himself with his own strength,” replied Slyme, “he would definitely fail, but when you have the Grace of God in you, it’s a different story.”
“Chuck it, fer Christ’s sake!” said Harlow in a tone of disgust. “We’ve only just ’ad our dinner!”
“Just throw it away, for God’s sake!” Harlow said with a tone of disgust. “We just had our dinner!”
“And wot about drink?” demanded old Joe Philpot, suddenly.
“And what about drinks?” old Joe Philpot suddenly asked.
“’Ear, ’ear,” cried Harlow. “That’s the bleedin’ talk. I wouldn’t mind ’avin ’arf a pint now, if somebody else will pay for it.”
“Yeah, yeah,” shouted Harlow. “That’s the real talk. I wouldn’t mind having half a pint now, if someone else is willing to pay for it.”
Joe Philpot—or as he was usually called, “Old Joe”—was in the habit of indulging freely in the cup that inebriates. He was not very old, being only a little over fifty, but he looked much older. He had lost his wife some five years ago and was now alone in the world, for his three children had died in their infancy. Slyme’s reference to drink had roused Philpot’s indignation; he felt that it was directed against himself. The muddled condition of his brain did not permit him to take up the cudgels in his own behalf, but he knew that although Owen was a tee-totaller himself, he disliked Slyme.
Joe Philpot—commonly known as “Old Joe”—was in the habit of indulging freely in alcohol. He wasn't very old, just a bit over fifty, but he looked much older. He had lost his wife about five years ago and was now all alone in the world, as his three children had died in infancy. Slyme’s comment about drinking had sparked Philpot’s anger; he felt it was aimed at him. The foggy state of his mind didn’t allow him to defend himself, but he was aware that even though Owen didn't drink, he had a dislike for Slyme.
“There’s no need for us to talk about drink or laziness,” returned Owen, impatiently, “because they have nothing to do with the matter. The question is, what is the cause of the lifelong poverty of the majority of those who are not drunkards and who DO work? Why, if all the drunkards and won’t-works and unskilled or inefficient workers could be by some miracle transformed into sober, industrious and skilled workers tomorrow, it would, under the present conditions, be so much the worse for us, because there isn’t enough work for all NOW and those people by increasing the competition for what work there is, would inevitably cause a reduction of wages and a greater scarcity of employment. The theories that drunkenness, laziness or inefficiency are the causes of poverty are so many devices invented and fostered by those who are selfishly interested in maintaining the present states of affairs, for the purpose of preventing us from discovering the real causes of our present condition.”
“There’s no point in discussing drinking or laziness,” Owen replied, impatiently, “because they don’t relate to the issue. The real question is, what causes the lifelong poverty of most people who aren’t alcoholics and who actually work? If all the drunks, slackers, and unskilled or inefficient workers suddenly became sober, hardworking, and skilled tomorrow, it would actually make things worse for us, because there isn’t enough work for everyone right now. Those additional workers would increase competition for the limited jobs available, leading to lower wages and fewer job opportunities. The ideas that drinking, laziness, or inefficiency cause poverty are just tricks created and supported by those who are selfishly invested in keeping things as they are, aimed at preventing us from finding out the true reasons for our current situation.”
“Well, if we’re all wrong,” said Crass, with a sneer, “praps you can tell us what the real cause is?”
“Well, if we’re all wrong,” said Crass, with a sneer, “maybe you can tell us what the real cause is?”
“An’ praps you think you know how it’s to be altered,” remarked Harlow, winking at the others.
“Maybe you think you know what it’s like to be changed,” Harlow said, winking at the others.
“Yes; I do think I know the cause,” declared Owen, “and I do think I know how it could be altered—”
“Yes; I really think I know the reason,” Owen stated, “and I believe I know how it could be changed—”
“It can’t never be haltered,” interrupted old Linden. “I don’t see no sense in all this ’ere talk. There’s always been rich and poor in the world, and there always will be.”
“It can’t ever be stopped,” interrupted old Linden. “I don’t see any sense in all this talk. There have always been rich and poor in the world, and there always will be.”
“Wot I always say is there ’ere,” remarked Philpot, whose principal characteristic—apart from thirst—was a desire to see everyone comfortable, and who hated rows of any kind. “There ain’t no use in the likes of us trubblin our ’eds or quarrelin about politics. It don’t make a dam bit of difference who you votes for or who gets in. They’re hall the same; workin the horicle for their own benefit. You can talk till you’re black in the face, but you won’t never be able to alter it. It’s no use worrying. The sensible thing is to try and make the best of things as we find ’em: enjoy ourselves, and do the best we can for each other. Life’s too short to quarrel and we’ll hall soon be dead!”
"Wot I always say is right here," Philpot remarked, whose main trait—besides his thirst—was wanting to make sure everyone was comfortable, and who couldn't stand any kind of argument. "There's no point in people like us stressing ourselves out or arguing about politics. It doesn't matter at all who you vote for or who gets elected. They're all the same, just working the system for their own gain. You can talk until you're blue in the face, but you’ll never be able to change it. There's no point in worrying. The smart thing to do is to make the most of things as they are: enjoy ourselves and do our best for one another. Life's too short to fight, and we'll all be gone soon!"
At the end of this lengthy speech, the philosophic Philpot abstractedly grasped a jam-jar and raised it to his lips; but suddenly remembering that it contained stewed tea and not beer, set it down again without drinking.
At the end of this long speech, the thoughtful Philpot absentmindedly grabbed a jam jar and lifted it to his lips; but then he suddenly remembered that it held stewed tea instead of beer, and he set it back down without drinking.
“Let us begin at the beginning,” continued Owen, taking no notice of these interruptions. “First of all, what do you mean by Poverty?”
“Let’s start from the beginning,” Owen continued, ignoring the interruptions. “First of all, what do you mean by Poverty?”
“Why, if you’ve got no money, of course,” said Crass impatiently.
“Why, if you don’t have any money, of course,” said Crass impatiently.
The others laughed disdainfully. It seemed to them such a foolish question.
The others laughed with contempt. They thought it was a really stupid question.
“Well, that’s true enough as far as it goes,” returned Owen, “that is, as things are arranged in the world at present. But money itself is not wealth: it’s of no use whatever.”
“Well, that’s true enough as far as it goes,” replied Owen, “that is, based on how things are set up in the world right now. But money itself isn't real wealth: it’s completely useless.”
At this there was another outburst of jeering laughter.
At this, there was another burst of mocking laughter.
“Supposing for example that you and Harlow were shipwrecked on a desolate island, and YOU had saved nothing from the wreck but a bag containing a thousand sovereigns, and he had a tin of biscuits and a bottle of water.”
“Let’s say, for instance, that you and Harlow were shipwrecked on a deserted island, and YOU had only saved a bag with a thousand sovereigns, while he had a tin of biscuits and a bottle of water.”
“Make it beer!” cried Harlow appealingly.
“Make it beer!” Harlow shouted eagerly.
“Who would be the richer man, you or Harlow?”
“Who would be the wealthier man, you or Harlow?”
“But then you see we ain’t shipwrecked on no dissolute island at all,” sneered Crass. “That’s the worst of your arguments. You can’t never get very far without supposing some bloody ridclus thing or other. Never mind about supposing things wot ain’t true; let’s ’ave facts and common sense.”
“But then you see we’re not shipwrecked on some crazy island at all,” Crass sneered. “That’s the problem with your arguments. You can never get anywhere without imagining some ridiculous thing or another. Forget about assuming things that aren’t true; let’s stick to facts and common sense.”
“’Ear, ’ear,” said old Linden. “That’s wot we want—a little common sense.”
“Yeah, yeah,” said old Linden. “That’s what we need—a bit of common sense.”
“What do YOU mean by poverty, then?” asked Easton.
“What do YOU mean by poverty, then?” Easton asked.
“What I call poverty is when people are not able to secure for themselves all the benefits of civilization; the necessaries, comforts, pleasures and refinements of life, leisure, books, theatres, pictures, music, holidays, travel, good and beautiful homes, good clothes, good and pleasant food.”
“What I consider poverty is when people can't access all the advantages of civilization; the essentials, comforts, joys, and enhancements of life, like leisure, books, theaters, art, music, vacations, travel, beautiful and comfortable homes, nice clothes, and enjoyable food.”
Everybody laughed. It was so ridiculous. The idea of the likes of THEM wanting or having such things! Any doubts that any of them had entertained as to Owen’s sanity disappeared. The man was as mad as a March hare.
Everybody laughed. It was so ridiculous. The idea of people like THEM wanting or having such things! Any doubts any of them had about Owen’s sanity vanished. The guy was as crazy as a March hare.
“If a man is only able to provide himself and his family with the bare necessaries of existence, that man’s family is living in poverty. Since he cannot enjoy the advantages of civilization he might just as well be a savage: better, in fact, for a savage knows nothing of what he is deprived. What we call civilization—the accumulation of knowledge which has come down to us from our forefathers—is the fruit of thousands of years of human thought and toil. It is not the result of the labour of the ancestors of any separate class of people who exist today, and therefore it is by right the common heritage of all. Every little child that is born into the world, no matter whether he is clever or full, whether he is physically perfect or lame, or blind; no matter how much he may excel or fall short of his fellows in other respects, in one thing at least he is their equal—he is one of the heirs of all the ages that have gone before.”
“If a man can only provide himself and his family with the basic necessities of life, his family is living in poverty. Since they can't enjoy the benefits of society, they might as well be living like savages; in fact, it's better for a savage who doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. What we call civilization—the accumulation of knowledge passed down from our ancestors—is the result of thousands of years of human thought and effort. It isn't just the product of the labor from any specific group of people today, so it rightfully belongs to all of us. Every child born into the world, regardless of whether they are smart or not, whether they are physically perfect, disabled, or blind; no matter how they compare to others in any way, in at least one aspect, they are equal—they are heirs to all the knowledge and experiences of the ages that came before.”
Some of them began to wonder whether Owen was not sane after all. He certainly must be a clever sort of chap to be able to talk like this. It sounded almost like something out of a book, and most of them could not understand one half of it.
Some of them started to question whether Owen was actually sane. He definitely seemed like a smart guy to be able to talk like this. It sounded almost like something from a book, and most of them couldn't understand half of it.
“Why is it,” continued Owen, “that we are not only deprived of our inheritance—we are not only deprived of nearly all the benefits of civilization, but we and our children are also often unable to obtain even the bare necessaries of existence?”
“Why is it,” continued Owen, “that we are not only robbed of our inheritance—we are not only kept from almost all the benefits of civilization, but we and our children are also often unable to get even the basic necessities of life?”
No one answered.
No one responded.
“All these things,” Owen proceeded, “are produced by those who work. We do our full share of the work, therefore we should have a full share of the things that are made by work.”
“All these things,” Owen continued, “are created by those who labor. We contribute our fair share of the work, so we should receive a fair share of the products of that work.”
The others continued silent. Harlow thought of the over-population theory, but decided not to mention it. Crass, who could not have given an intelligent answer to save his life, for once had sufficient sense to remain silent. He did think of calling out the patent paint-pumping machine and bringing the hosepipe to bear on the subject, but abandoned the idea; after all, he thought, what was the use of arguing with such a fool as Owen?
The others stayed quiet. Harlow thought about the overpopulation theory but chose not to bring it up. Crass, who couldn’t have given a smart answer to save his life, actually had the sense to keep quiet this time. He considered calling for the patent paint-pumping machine and using the hose on the topic, but decided against it; after all, he thought, what was the point of arguing with someone as foolish as Owen?
Sawkins pretended to be asleep.
Sawkins faked being asleep.
Philpot, however, had suddenly grown very serious.
Philpot, however, had suddenly become very serious.
“As things are now,” went on Owen, “instead of enjoying the advantages of civilization we are really worse off than slaves, for if we were slaves our owners in their own interest would see to it that we always had food and—”
“As things are now,” Owen continued, “instead of enjoying the benefits of civilization, we are actually worse off than slaves, because if we were slaves, our owners would make sure we always had food and—”
“Oh, I don’t see that,” roughly interrupted old Linden, who had been listening with evident anger and impatience. “You can speak for yourself, but I can tell yer I don’t put MYSELF down as a slave.”
“Oh, I don’t see it that way,” interrupted old Linden, sounding clearly angry and impatient. “You can speak for yourself, but I can tell you I don’t consider MYSELF a slave.”
“Nor me neither,” said Crass sturdily. “Let them call their selves slaves as wants to.”
“Not me either,” Crass said firmly. “Let them call themselves slaves if they want to.”
At this moment a footstep was heard in the passage leading to the kitchen. Old Misery! or perhaps the bloke himself! Crass hurriedly pulled out his watch.
At that moment, a footstep was heard in the hallway leading to the kitchen. Old Misery! Or maybe the guy himself! Crass quickly pulled out his watch.
“Jesus Christ!” he gasped. “It’s four minutes past one!”
“Jesus Christ!” he exclaimed. “It’s four minutes after one!”
Linden frantically seized hold of a pair of steps and began wandering about the room with them.
Linden frantically grabbed a pair of steps and started moving around the room with them.
Sawkins scrambled hastily to his feet and, snatching a piece of sandpaper from the pocket of his apron, began furiously rubbing down the scullery door.
Sawkins quickly got up and, grabbing a piece of sandpaper from his apron pocket, started vigorously sanding the scullery door.
Easton threw down the copy of the Obscurer and scrambled hastily to his feet.
Easton tossed aside the copy of the Obscurer and quickly got back on his feet.
The boy crammed the Chronicles of Crime into his trousers pocket.
The boy shoved the Chronicles of Crime into his pants pocket.
Crass rushed over to the bucket and began stirring up the stale whitewash it contained, and the stench which it gave forth was simply appalling.
Crass hurried over to the bucket and started mixing the old whitewash inside it, and the smell that came out was just awful.
Consternation reigned.
Panic set in.
They looked like a gang of malefactors suddenly interrupted in the commission of a crime.
They looked like a group of criminals caught in the act of committing a crime.
The door opened. It was only Bundy returning from his mission to the Bookie.
The door opened. It was just Bundy coming back from his trip to the Bookie.
Chapter 2
Nimrod: a Mighty Hunter before the Lord
Mr Hunter, as he was called to his face and as he was known to his brethren at the Shining Light Chapel, where he was superintendant of the Sunday School, or “Misery” or “Nimrod”, as he was named behind his back by the workmen over whom he tyrannized, was the general or walking foreman or “manager” of the firm whose card is herewith presented to the reader:
Mr. Hunter, as everyone called him to his face and as he was known to his peers at the Shining Light Chapel, where he was the superintendent of the Sunday School, or “Misery” or “Nimrod,” as the workers who he ruled over referred to him behind his back, was the general or walking foreman or “manager” of the company whose card is presented here to the reader:
RUSHTON & CO.
MUGSBOROUGH
————
Builders, Decorators, and General Contractors
FUNERALS FURNISHED
Estimates given for General Repairs to House Property
First-class Work only at Moderate Charges
There were a number of sub-foremen or “coddies”, but Hunter was the foreman.
There were several sub-foremen or “coddies,” but Hunter was the foreman.
He was a tall, thin man whose clothes hung loosely on the angles of his round-shouldered, bony form. His long, thin legs, about which the baggy trousers draped in ungraceful folds, were slightly knock-kneed and terminated in large, flat feet. His arms were very long even for such a tall man, and the huge, bony hands were gnarled and knotted. When he removed his bowler hat, as he frequently did to wipe away with a red handkerchief the sweat occasioned by furious bicycle riding, it was seen that his forehead was high, flat and narrow. His nose was a large, fleshy, hawklike beak, and from the side of each nostril a deep indentation extended downwards until it disappeared in the dropping moustache that concealed his mouth, the vast extent of which was perceived only when he opened it to bellow at the workmen his exhortations to greater exertions. His chin was large and extraordinarily long. The eyes were pale blue, very small and close together, surmounted by spare, light-coloured, almost invisible eyebrows, with a deep vertical cleft between them over the nose. His head, covered with thick, coarse brown hair, was very large at the back; the ears were small and laid close to the head. If one were to make a full-face drawing of his cadaverous visage it would be found that the outline resembled that of the lid of a coffin.
He was a tall, thin man whose clothes were loose on the angles of his round-shouldered, bony frame. His long, skinny legs, which were draped in baggy trousers that hung awkwardly, were slightly knock-kneed and ended in large, flat feet. His arms were very long even for someone so tall, and his huge, bony hands were gnarled and knotted. When he took off his bowler hat, as he often did to wipe away sweat from furious biking with a red handkerchief, it was clear that his forehead was high, flat, and narrow. His nose was a large, fleshy, hawk-like beak, and from the side of each nostril, a deep indentation ran down until it disappeared into the drooping mustache that hid his mouth, which was only fully revealed when he opened it to shout at the workers, urging them to work harder. His chin was large and unusually long. His eyes were pale blue, very small, and close together, topped with sparse, light-colored, almost invisible eyebrows, with a deep vertical crease between them over the nose. His head, covered in thick, coarse brown hair, was very large at the back; his ears were small and close to his head. If someone were to create a full-face drawing of his gaunt face, the outline would resemble that of a coffin lid.
This man had been with Rushton—no one had ever seen the “Co.”—for fifteen years, in fact almost from the time when the latter commenced business. Rushton had at that period realized the necessity of having a deputy who could be used to do all the drudgery and running about so that he himself might be free to attend to the more pleasant or profitable matters. Hunter was then a journeyman, but was on the point of starting on his own account, when Rushton offered him a constant job as foreman, two pounds a week, and two and a half per cent of the profits of all work done. On the face of it this appeared a generous offer. Hunter closed with it, gave up the idea of starting for himself, and threw himself heart and mind into the business. When an estimate was to be prepared it was Hunter who measured up the work and laboriously figured out the probable cost. When their tenders were accepted it was he who superintended the work and schemed how to scamp it, where possible, using mud where mortar was specified, mortar where there ought to have been cement, sheet zinc where they were supposed to put sheet lead, boiled oil instead of varnish, and three coats of paint where five were paid for. In fact, scamping the work was with this man a kind of mania. It grieved him to see anything done properly. Even when it was more economical to do a thing well, he insisted from force of habit on having it scamped. Then he was almost happy, because he felt that he was doing someone down. If there were an architect superintending the work, Misery would square him or bluff him. If it were not possible to do either, at least he had a try; and in the intervals of watching, driving and bullying the hands, his vulture eye was ever on the look out for fresh jobs. His long red nose was thrust into every estate agent’s office in the town in the endeavour to smell out what properties had recently changed hands or been let, in order that he might interview the new owners and secure the order for whatever alterations or repairs might be required. He it was who entered into unholy compacts with numerous charwomen and nurses of the sick, who in return for a small commission would let him know when some poor sufferer was passing away and would recommend Rushton & Co. to the bereaved and distracted relatives. By these means often—after first carefully inquiring into the financial position of the stricken family—Misery would contrive to wriggle his unsavoury carcass into the house of sorrow, seeking, even in the chamber of death, to further the interests of Rushton & Co. and to earn his miserable two and a half per cent.
This man had been with Rushton—no one had ever seen the “Co.”—for fifteen years, almost since the company started. Back then, Rushton realized he needed a deputy to handle all the grunt work and running around so he could focus on more enjoyable or profitable tasks. Hunter was then a journeyman, about to start his own business when Rushton offered him a steady job as foreman, at two pounds a week, plus two and a half percent of the profits from all the work done. At first glance, this seemed like a generous offer. Hunter accepted it, abandoned his own plans, and committed fully to the business. When they needed to prepare an estimate, Hunter would measure the work and painstakingly calculate the expected cost. Once their bids were accepted, he oversaw the work and figured out ways to cut corners wherever he could, using mud instead of mortar, mortar instead of cement, sheet zinc instead of sheet lead, boiled oil instead of varnish, and three coats of paint when five were paid for. Basically, cutting corners was a kind of obsession for him. It upset him to see anything done right. Even when it would have been more cost-effective to do a job well, he insisted on cutting corners out of habit. Then he felt almost happy because he believed he was getting one over on someone. If an architect was supervising the work, Misery would either sweet-talk or bully them. If neither was possible, he at least made an effort; and while he was busy watching, directing, and bossing the workers, his hawk-like eyes were always looking for new jobs. His long red nose poked into every estate agent’s office in town, trying to sniff out properties that had recently changed hands or been rented, so he could talk to the new owners and get the orders for any needed changes or repairs. He was the one who made shady deals with various cleaners and nurses, who, in exchange for a small commission, would inform him when a poor soul was nearing death and would recommend Rushton & Co. to the grieving relatives. Often, after first checking the financial situation of the devastated family, Misery would find a way to sneak his unwelcome presence into the house of mourning, seeking, even in the presence of death, to advance the interests of Rushton & Co. and earn his meager two and a half percent.
It was to make possible the attainment of this object that Misery slaved and drove and schemed and cheated. It was for this that the workers’ wages were cut down to the lowest possible point and their offspring went ill clad, ill shod and ill fed, and were driven forth to labour while they were yet children, because their fathers were unable to earn enough to support their homes.
It was to achieve this goal that Misery worked hard, manipulated, and deceived. It was for this reason that the workers' wages were slashed to the absolute minimum, causing their children to be poorly dressed, poorly shod, and poorly fed, and sent out to work while they were still kids because their fathers couldn't earn enough to support their families.
Fifteen years!
Fifteen years!
Hunter realized now that Rushton had had considerably the best of the bargain. In the first place, it will be seen that the latter had bought over one who might have proved a dangerous competitor, and now, after fifteen years, the business that had been so laboriously built up, mainly by Hunter’s energy, industry and unscrupulous cunning, belonged to Rushton & Co. Hunter was but an employee, liable to dismissal like any other workman, the only difference being that he was entitled to a week’s notice instead of an hour’s notice, and was but little better off financially than when he started for the firm.
Hunter now realized that Rushton had definitely come out ahead in the deal. First of all, it was clear that Rushton had acquired someone who could have turned into a serious competitor. Now, after fifteen years, the business that had been built up through Hunter's hard work, dedication, and ruthless tactics was owned by Rushton & Co. Hunter was just an employee, as vulnerable to getting fired as any other worker, with the only difference being that he was entitled to a week’s notice instead of an hour's. Financially, he was barely better off than when he first joined the company.
Fifteen years!
Fifteen years!
Hunter knew now that he had been used, but he also knew that it was too late to turn back. He had not saved enough to make a successful start on his own account even if he had felt mentally and physically capable of beginning all over again, and if Rushton were to discharge him right now he was too old to get a job as a journeyman. Further, in his zeal for Rushton & Co. and his anxiety to earn his commission, he had often done things that had roused the animosity of rival firms to such an extent that it was highly improbable that any of them would employ him, and even if they would, Misery’s heart failed him at the thought of having to meet on an equal footing those workmen whom he had tyrannized over and oppressed. It was for these reasons that Hunter was as terrified of Rushton as the hands were of himself.
Hunter now realized that he had been taken advantage of, but he also understood that it was too late to backtrack. He hadn’t saved enough to successfully start on his own, even if he felt mentally and physically ready to begin again. If Rushton were to let him go right now, he was too old to find a job as a journeyman. Moreover, his eagerness for Rushton & Co. and his desire to earn his commission had often led him to do things that sparked the resentment of rival companies to such an extent that it was highly unlikely any of them would hire him. Even if they did, Hunter was filled with dread at the thought of having to confront, as equals, those workers he had bullied and oppressed. It was these reasons that made Hunter as terrified of Rushton as the workers were of him.
Over the men stood Misery, ever threatening them with dismissal and their wives and children with hunger. Behind Misery was Rushton, ever bullying and goading him on to greater excesses and efforts for the furtherance of the good cause—which was to enable the head of the firm to accumulate money.
Over the men stood Misery, constantly threatening them with being fired and their wives and children with starvation. Behind Misery was Rushton, always pushing him to be more cruel and work harder for the supposed good cause—which was just to help the head of the company get richer.
Mr Hunter, at the moment when the reader first makes his acquaintance on the afternoon of the day when the incidents recorded in the first chapter took place, was executing a kind of strategic movement in the direction of the house where Crass and his mates were working. He kept to one side of the road because by so doing he could not be perceived by those within the house until the instant of his arrival. When he was within about a hundred yards of the gate he dismounted from his bicycle, there being a sharp rise in the road just there, and as he toiled up, pushing the bicycle in front, his breath showing in white clouds in the frosty air, he observed a number of men hanging about. Some of them he knew; they had worked for him at various times, but were now out of a job. There were five men altogether; three of them were standing in a group, the other two stood each by himself, being apparently strangers to each other and the first three. The three men who stood together were nearest to Hunter and as the latter approached, one of them advanced to meet him.
Mr. Hunter, at the point when the reader first meets him on the afternoon of the day when the events from the first chapter occurred, was making a sort of strategic move toward the house where Crass and his crew were working. He kept to one side of the road so that those inside the house wouldn’t see him until he arrived. When he was about a hundred yards from the gate, he got off his bike since there was a steep incline right there, and as he struggled up, pushing the bike in front of him and puffing out clouds of breath in the frosty air, he noticed a few men hanging around. Some of them he recognized; they had worked for him at different times but were currently out of a job. There were five men in total; three of them stood together in a group, while the other two were on their own, seeming to be strangers to each other and to the first three. The three men who were grouped together were closest to Hunter, and as he came closer, one of them stepped forward to greet him.
“Good afternoon, sir.”
"Good afternoon, sir."
Hunter replied by an inarticulate grunt, without stopping; the man followed.
Hunter responded with an unclear grunt, not slowing down; the man kept following.
“Any chance of a job, sir?”
“Is there any chance of a job, sir?”
“Full up,” replied Hunter, still without stopping. The man still followed, like a beggar soliciting charity.
“Fully booked,” replied Hunter, still not stopping. The man continued to follow, like a beggar asking for help.
“Be any use calling in a day or so, sir?”
“Is it any good to call in a day or so, sir?”
“Don’t think so,” Hunter replied. “Can if you like; but we’re full up.”
“Don’t think so,” Hunter said. “You can if you want, but we’re all set.”
“Thank you, sir,” said the man, and turned back to his friends.
“Thanks, man,” said the guy, and turned back to his friends.
By this time Hunter was within a few yards of one of the other two men, who also came to speak to him. This man felt there was no hope of getting a job; still, there was no harm in asking. Besides, he was getting desperate. It was over a month now since he had finished up for his last employer. It had been a very slow summer altogether. Sometimes a fortnight for one firm; then perhaps a week doing nothing; then three weeks or a month for another firm, then out again, and so on. And now it was November. Last winter they had got into debt; that was nothing unusual, but owing to the bad summer they had not been able, as in other years, to pay off the debts accumulated in winter. It was doubtful, too, whether they would be able to get credit again this winter. In fact this morning when his wife sent their little girl to the grocer’s for some butter the latter had refused to let the child have it without the money. So although he felt it to be useless he accosted Hunter.
By this time, Hunter was just a few yards away from one of the other two men, who approached him to speak. This man felt there was no chance of getting a job; still, there was no harm in asking. Besides, he was really desperate. It had been over a month since he finished with his last employer. Overall, it had been a very slow summer. Sometimes he would work for two weeks at one company, then have a week off, followed by another three weeks or a month with a different firm, and then out of work again, and so on. Now it was November. Last winter, they had fallen into debt; that wasn’t unusual, but because of the poor summer, they hadn’t been able to pay off the debts they usually settled in winter. It was also uncertain whether they could get credit again this winter. In fact, just this morning, when his wife sent their little girl to the grocer’s for some butter, the grocer had refused to give it to her without payment. So, even though he knew it was probably pointless, he approached Hunter.
This time Hunter stopped: he was winded by his climb up the hill.
This time Hunter stopped; he was out of breath from climbing up the hill.
“Good afternoon, sir.” Hunter did not return the salutation; he had not the breath to spare, but the man was not hurt; he was used to being treated like that.
“Good afternoon, sir.” Hunter didn’t reply; he didn’t have the breath to spare, but the man wasn’t bothered; he was used to being treated like that.
“Any chance of a job, sir?”
“Is there any chance for a job, sir?”
Hunter did not reply at once. He was short of breath and he was thinking of a plan that was ever recurring to his mind, and which he had lately been hankering to put into execution. It seemed to him that the long waited for opportunity had come. Just now Rushton & Co. were almost the only firm in Mugsborough who had any work. There were dozens of good workmen out. Yes, this was the time. If this man agreed he would give him a start. Hunter knew the man was a good workman, he had worked for Rushton & Co. before. To make room for him old Linden and some other full-price man could be got rid of; it would not be difficult to find some excuse.
Hunter didn’t respond right away. He was out of breath and thinking about a plan that often came to his mind, one he had recently been eager to put into action. It seemed like the long-awaited opportunity had finally arrived. Right now, Rushton & Co. were basically the only company in Mugsborough with any jobs available. There were plenty of skilled workers out of work. Yes, this was the moment. If this guy agreed, he would have a chance. Hunter knew the guy was a solid worker; he had worked for Rushton & Co. before. To make space for him, old Linden and a few other full-price employees could be let go; it wouldn't be hard to come up with some excuse.
“Well,” Hunter said at last in a doubtful, hesitating kind of way, “I’m afraid not, Newman. We’re about full up.”
“Well,” Hunter said finally, sounding uncertain and hesitant, “I’m afraid not, Newman. We’re pretty much at capacity.”
He ceased speaking and remained waiting for the other to say something more. He did not look at the man, but stooped down, fidgeting with the mechanism of the bicycle as if adjusting it.
He stopped talking and waited for the other person to say something else. He didn’t look at the man but bent down, playing with the bike’s mechanism as if he were fixing it.
“Things have been so bad this summer,” Newman went on. “I’ve had rather a rough time of it. I would be very glad of a job even if it was only for a week or so.”
“Things have been really tough this summer,” Newman continued. “I’ve had a pretty rough time. I would really appreciate a job, even if it was just for a week or so.”
There was a pause. After a while, Hunter raised his eyes to the other’s face, but immediately let them fall again.
There was a pause. After a moment, Hunter looked up at the other person's face but quickly looked down again.
“Well,” said he, “I might—perhaps—be able to let you have a day or two. You can come here to this job,” and he nodded his head in the direction of the house where the men were working. “Tomorrow at seven. Of course you know the figure?” he added as Newman was about to thank him. “Six and a half.”
“Well,” he said, “I might—maybe—be able to give you a day or two. You can come here to this job,” and he nodded toward the house where the men were working. “Tomorrow at seven. Of course you know the pay?” he added as Newman was about to thank him. “Six and a half.”
Hunter spoke as if the reduction were already an accomplished fact. The man was more likely to agree, if he thought that others were already working at the reduced rate.
Hunter spoke as if the cut was already a done deal. The guy was more likely to agree if he believed that others were already working at the lower rate.
Newman was taken by surprise and hesitated. He had never worked under price; indeed, he had sometimes gone hungry rather than do so; but now it seemed that others were doing it. And then he was so awfully hard up. If he refused this job he was not likely to get another in a hurry. He thought of his home and his family. Already they owed five weeks’ rent, and last Monday the collector had hinted pretty plainly that the landlord would not wait much longer. Not only that, but if he did not get a job how were they to live? This morning he himself had had no breakfast to speak of, only a cup of tea and some dry bread. These thoughts crowded upon each other in his mind, but still he hesitated. Hunter began to move off.
Newman was caught off guard and hesitated. He had never worked for less than he deserved; in fact, he had sometimes gone hungry rather than do that. But now it seemed like others were. And he was really struggling financially. If he turned down this job, it was unlikely he’d get another one anytime soon. He thought about his home and his family. They already owed five weeks’ rent, and last Monday the collector had made it pretty clear that the landlord wouldn’t wait much longer. Not only that, but if he didn’t secure a job, how would they survive? That morning, he had barely eaten anything—just a cup of tea and some dry bread. These thoughts piled up in his mind, but he still hesitated. Hunter began to walk away.
“Well,” he said, “if you like to start you can come here at seven in the morning.” Then as Newman still hesitated he added impatiently, “Are you coming or not?”
"Well," he said, "if you want to start, you can come here at seven in the morning." Then, as Newman still hesitated, he added impatiently, "Are you coming or not?"
“Yes, sir,” said Newman.
“Sure thing,” said Newman.
“All right,” said Hunter, affably. “I’ll tell Crass to have a kit ready for you.”
“Okay,” said Hunter, friendly. “I’ll tell Crass to get a kit ready for you.”
He nodded in a friendly way to the man, who went off feeling like a criminal.
He nodded politely at the man, who walked away feeling like a criminal.
As Hunter resumed his march, well pleased with himself, the fifth man, who had been waiting all this time, came to meet him. As he approached, Hunter recognized him as one who had started work for Rushton & Co early in the summer, but who had left suddenly of his own accord, having taken offence at some bullying remark of Hunter’s.
As Hunter continued his walk, feeling good about himself, the fifth man, who had been waiting all this time, came to meet him. As he got closer, Hunter realized he was someone who had begun working for Rushton & Co early in the summer but had abruptly left on his own, having been offended by some harsh comment made by Hunter.
Hunter was glad to see this man. He guessed that the fellow must be very hard pressed to come again and ask for work after what had happened.
Hunter was happy to see this guy. He figured that the guy must be in a tough spot to come back and ask for work after what went down.
“Any chance of a job, sir?”
“Is there any chance of a job, sir?”
Hunter appeared to reflect.
Hunter seemed to think.
“I believe I have room for one,” he said at length. “But you’re such an uncertain kind of chap. You don’t seem to care much whether you work or not. You’re too independent, you know; one can’t say two words to you but you must needs clear off.”
“I think I can take one,” he said after a while. “But you’re such an unpredictable guy. You don’t seem to care much about working or not. You’re too independent, you know; you can’t have a quick conversation with you without you needing to leave.”
The man made no answer.
The man didn’t respond.
“We can’t tolerate that kind of thing, you know,” Hunter added. “If we were to encourage men of your stamp we should never know where we are.”
“We can’t put up with that kind of thing, you know,” Hunter added. “If we were to support men like you, we would never know where we stand.”
So saying, Hunter moved away and again proceeded on his journey.
So saying, Hunter moved on and continued his journey.
When he arrived within about three yards of the gate he noiselessly laid his machine against the garden fence. The high evergreens that grew inside still concealed him from the observation of anyone who might be looking out of the windows of the house. Then he carefully crept along till he came to the gate post, and bending down, he cautiously peeped round to see if he could detect anyone idling, or talking, or smoking. There was no one in sight except old Jack Linden, who was rubbing down the lobby doors with pumice-stone and water. Hunter noiselessly opened the gate and crept quietly along the grass border of the garden path. His idea was to reach the front door without being seen, so that Linden could not give notice of his approach to those within. In this he succeeded and passed silently into the house. He did not speak to Linden; to do so would have proclaimed his presence to the rest. He crawled stealthily over the house but was disappointed in his quest, for everyone he saw was hard at work. Upstairs he noticed that the door of one of the rooms was closed.
When he got about three yards from the gate, he quietly leaned his bike against the garden fence. The tall evergreens inside still kept him hidden from anyone who might be looking out from the windows of the house. Then he carefully crept along until he reached the gate post, and bending down, he cautiously peeked around to see if he could spot anyone hanging out, chatting, or smoking. No one was in sight except old Jack Linden, who was polishing the lobby doors with pumice stone and water. Hunter silently opened the gate and quietly moved along the grass border of the garden path. His plan was to get to the front door without being seen so that Linden couldn't alert anyone inside about his arrival. He succeeded and slipped silently into the house. He didn't speak to Linden; doing so would have announced his presence to the others. He stealthily made his way through the house but was disappointed in his search, as everyone he saw was busy working. Upstairs, he noticed that the door to one of the rooms was closed.
Old Joe Philpot had been working in this room all day, washing off the old whitewash from the ceiling and removing the old papers from the walls with a broad bladed, square topped knife called a stripper. Although it was only a small room, Joe had had to tear into the work pretty hard all the time, for the ceiling seemed to have had two or three coats of whitewash without ever having been washed off, and there were several thicknesses of paper on the walls. The difficulty of removing these papers was increased by the fact that there was a dado which had been varnished. In order to get this off it had been necessary to soak it several times with strong soda water, and although Joe was as careful as possible he had not been able to avoid getting some of this stuff on his fingers. The result was that his nails were all burnt and discoloured and the flesh round them cracked and bleeding. However, he had got it all off at last, and he was not sorry, for his right arm and shoulder were aching from the prolonged strain and in the palm of the right hand there was a blister as large as a shilling, caused by the handle of the stripping knife.
Old Joe Philpot had been in this room all day, scraping off the old whitewash from the ceiling and removing the old wallpaper from the walls using a broad-bladed, square-tipped tool called a stripper. Even though it was just a small room, Joe had to put in a lot of effort, since the ceiling looked like it had been whitewashed two or three times without ever being cleaned off, and there were multiple layers of wallpaper on the walls. The challenge of removing those papers was made worse by the dado, which had been varnished. To get that off, he had to soak it several times with strong soda water, and even though Joe was as careful as he could be, he still ended up with some of that stuff on his fingers. As a result, his nails were all burned and discolored, and the skin around them was cracked and bleeding. However, he managed to get it all off in the end, and he was relieved, even though his right arm and shoulder were aching from the constant strain and there was a blister as big as a shilling on the palm of his right hand from the handle of the stripping knife.
All the old paper being off, Joe washed down the walls with water, and having swept the paper into a heap in the middle of the floor, he mixed with a small trowel some cement on a small board and proceeded to stop up the cracks and holes in the walls and ceiling. After a while, feeling very tired, it occurred to him that he deserved a spell and a smoke for five minutes. He closed the door and placed a pair of steps against it. There were two windows in the room almost opposite each other; these he opened wide in order that the smoke and smell of his pipe might be carried away. Having taken these precautions against surprise, he ascended to the top of the step ladder that he had laid against the door and sat down at ease. Within easy reach was the top of a cupboard where he had concealed a pint of beer in a bottle. To this he now applied himself. Having taken a long pull at the bottle, he tenderly replaced it on the top of the cupboard and proceeded to “hinjoy” a quiet smoke, remarking to himself:
All the old paper removed, Joe wiped down the walls with water, and after sweeping the paper into a pile in the middle of the floor, he mixed some cement with a small trowel on a small board and began filling in the cracks and holes in the walls and ceiling. After a while, feeling really exhausted, he thought he deserved a break and a smoke for five minutes. He closed the door and propped a step ladder against it. There were two windows in the room almost directly across from each other; he opened them wide to let the smoke and smell of his pipe escape. Having taken these precautions against surprises, he climbed to the top of the step ladder he had placed against the door and sat down comfortably. Within easy reach was the top of a cupboard where he had hidden a pint of beer in a bottle. He now took a swig from the bottle. After taking a long drink, he carefully set it back on top of the cupboard and proceeded to enjoy a peaceful smoke, saying to himself:
“This is where we get some of our own back.”
“This is where we get some payback.”
He held, however, his trowel in one hand, ready for immediate action in case of interruption.
He held his trowel in one hand, ready to jump into action if he got interrupted.
Philpot was about fifty-five years old. He wore no white jacket, only an old patched apron; his trousers were old, very soiled with paint and ragged at the bottoms of the legs where they fell over the much-patched, broken and down-at-heel boots. The part of his waistcoat not protected by his apron was covered with spots of dried paint. He wore a coloured shirt and a “dickey” which was very soiled and covered with splashes of paint, and one side of it was projecting from the opening of the waistcoat. His head was covered with an old cap, heavy and shining with paint. He was very thin and stooped slightly. Although he was really only fifty-five, he looked much older, for he was prematurely aged.
Philpot was about fifty-five years old. He didn't wear a white jacket, just an old, patched apron; his pants were old, very dirty with paint, and ragged at the bottoms where they hung over his worn-out, patched-up boots. The part of his waistcoat that wasn’t covered by his apron was splattered with dried paint. He wore a colored shirt with a "dickey" that was also dirty and splashed with paint, and one side of it was sticking out from his waistcoat. His head was topped with an old cap, heavy and shiny with paint. He was very thin and had a slight stoop. Although he was only fifty-five, he looked much older because he was prematurely aged.
He had not been getting his own back for quite five minutes when Hunter softly turned the handle of the lock. Philpot immediately put out his pipe and descending from his perch opened the door. When Hunter entered Philpot closed it again and, mounting the steps, went on stripping the wall just above. Nimrod looked at him suspiciously, wondering why the door had been closed. He looked all round the room but could see nothing to complain of. He sniffed the air to try if he could detect the odour of tobacco, and if he had not been suffering a cold in the head there is no doubt that he would have perceived it. However, as it was he could smell nothing but all the same he was not quite satisfied, although he remembered that Crass always gave Philpot a good character.
He hadn’t been getting his revenge for quite five minutes when Hunter quietly turned the door handle. Philpot quickly put out his pipe and got down from his spot to open the door. Once Hunter stepped in, Philpot shut it again and climbed the steps, continuing to strip the wall just above. Nimrod eyed him suspiciously, wondering why the door was closed. He glanced around the room but couldn’t find anything to complain about. He sniffed the air, trying to catch a whiff of tobacco, and if he hadn’t been dealing with a cold, he surely would have noticed it. As it was, he couldn’t smell anything, but he still felt a bit uneasy, even though he remembered that Crass always spoke highly of Philpot.
“I don’t like to have men working on a job like this with the door shut,” he said at length. “It always gives me the idear that the man’s ’avin a mike. You can do what you’re doin’ just as well with the door open.”
“I don’t like having guys work on a job like this with the door shut,” he said after a while. “It always makes me think the guy's up to something. You can do what you’re doing just as well with the door open.”
Philpot, muttering something about it being all the same to him—shut or open—got down from the steps and opened the door. Hunter went out again without making any further remark and once more began crawling over the house.
Philpot, grumbling that it didn’t matter to him—whether it was shut or open—got off the steps and opened the door. Hunter went outside again without saying anything more and started crawling over the house again.
Owen was working by himself in a room on the same floor as Philpot. He was at the window, burning off with a paraffin torch-lamp those parts of the old paintwork that were blistered and cracked.
Owen was working alone in a room on the same floor as Philpot. He was at the window, using a paraffin torch lamp to remove the blistered and cracked parts of the old paint.
In this work the flame of the lamp is directed against the old paint, which becomes soft and is removed with a chisel knife, or a scraper called a shavehook. The door was ajar and he had opened the top sash of the window for the purpose of letting in some fresh air, because the atmosphere of the room was foul with the fumes of the lamp and the smell of the burning paint, besides being heavy with moisture. The ceiling had only just been water washed and the walls had just been stripped. The old paper, saturated with water, was piled up in a heap in the middle of the floor.
In this work, the light from the lamp is aimed at the old paint, which softens and is removed using a chisel or a scraper known as a shavehook. The door was slightly open, and he had raised the top window sash to let in some fresh air since the room was filled with the fumes from the lamp and the smell of burning paint, as well as being damp with moisture. The ceiling had just been washed down, and the walls had recently been stripped. The old, waterlogged wallpaper was stacked in a pile in the middle of the floor.
Presently, as he was working he began to feel conscious of some other presence in the room; he looked round. The door was open about six inches and in the opening appeared a long, pale face with a huge chin, surmounted by a bowler hat and ornamented with a large red nose, a drooping moustache and two small, glittering eyes set very close together. For some seconds this apparition regarded Owen intently, then it was silently withdrawn, and he was again alone. He had been so surprised and startled that he had nearly dropped the lamp, and now that the ghastly countenance was gone, Owen felt the blood surge into his own cheeks. He trembled with suppressed fury and longed to be able to go out there on the landing and hurl the lamp into Hunter’s face.
As he was working, he suddenly became aware of another presence in the room; he glanced around. The door was open about six inches, and in the opening appeared a long, pale face with a huge chin, topped with a bowler hat and featuring a large red nose, a drooping mustache, and two small, shiny eyes set very close together. For a few seconds, this strange figure stared at Owen intently, then it silently withdrew, leaving him alone again. He had been so shocked and startled that he almost dropped the lamp, and now that the ghastly face was gone, Owen felt the blood rush to his cheeks. He shook with suppressed rage and wished he could go out there on the landing and throw the lamp at Hunter’s face.
Meanwhile, on the landing outside Owen’s door, Hunter stood thinking. Someone must be got rid of to make room for the cheap man tomorrow. He had hoped to catch somebody doing something that would have served as an excuse for instant dismissal, but there was now no hope of that happening. What was to be done? He would like to get rid of Linden, who was now really too old to be of much use, but as the old man had worked for Rushton on and off for many years, Hunter felt that he could scarcely sack him off hand without some reasonable pretext. Still, the fellow was really not worth the money he was getting. Sevenpence an hour was an absurdly large wage for an old man like him. It was preposterous: he would have to go, excuse or no excuse.
Meanwhile, on the landing outside Owen’s door, Hunter stood thinking. Someone needed to be let go to make room for the cheap guy tomorrow. He had hoped to catch someone doing something that would give him a good reason for immediate dismissal, but that wasn’t going to happen now. What could he do? He wanted to get rid of Linden, who was really too old to be much help anymore, but since the old man had worked for Rushton on and off for many years, Hunter felt he couldn’t just fire him without a valid reason. Still, the guy wasn’t worth the money he was making. Sevenpence an hour was way too much for an old man like him. It was ridiculous: he had to go, reason or no reason.
Hunter crawled downstairs again.
Hunter crawled down the stairs again.
Jack Linden was about sixty-seven years old, but like Philpot, and as is usual with working men, he appeared older, because he had had to work very hard all his life, frequently without proper food and clothing. His life had been passed in the midst of a civilization which he had never been permitted to enjoy the benefits of. But of course he knew nothing about all this. He had never expected or wished to be allowed to enjoy such things; he had always been of opinion that they were never intended for the likes of him. He called himself a Conservative and was very patriotic.
Jack Linden was about sixty-seven years old, but like Philpot, and as is common with working men, he looked older because he had to work extremely hard all his life, often without proper food and clothing. His life had been spent in a society that he was never able to enjoy the benefits of. But of course, he didn't know anything about this. He had never anticipated or wanted to experience such things; he always believed they were never meant for someone like him. He considered himself a Conservative and was very patriotic.
At the time when the Boer War commenced, Linden was an enthusiastic jingo: his enthusiasm had been somewhat damped when his youngest son, a reservist, had to go to the front, where he died of fever and exposure. When this soldier son went away, he left his wife and two children, aged respectively four and five years at that time, in his father’s care. After he died they stayed on with the old people. The young woman earned a little occasionally by doing needlework, but was really dependent on her father-in-law. Notwithstanding his poverty, he was glad to have them in the house, because of late years his wife had been getting very feeble, and, since the shock occasioned by the news of the death of her son, needed someone constantly with her.
At the time the Boer War started, Linden was a passionate patriot; his enthusiasm had faded somewhat when his youngest son, a reservist, had to go to the front, where he died of fever and exposure. When this soldier son left, he entrusted his wife and two children, who were four and five years old at the time, to his father's care. After his death, they stayed with the grandparents. The young woman occasionally earned a little income doing needlework, but she was mostly reliant on her father-in-law. Despite his financial struggles, he was happy to have them in the house, as his wife had been getting very weak in recent years, and after the shock of their son's death, she needed someone there with her all the time.
Linden was still working at the vestibule doors when the manager came downstairs. Misery stood watching him for some minutes without speaking. At last he said loudly:
Linden was still working at the front doors when the manager came downstairs. Misery stood there watching him for a few minutes without saying anything. Finally, he said loudly:
“How much longer are you going to be messing about those doors? Why don’t you get them under colour? You were fooling about there when I was here this morning. Do you think it’ll pay to have you playing about there hour after hour with a bit of pumice stone? Get the work done! Or if you don’t want to, I’ll very soon find someone else who does! I’ve been noticing your style of doing things for some time past and I want you to understand that you can’t play the fool with me. There’s plenty of better men than you walking about. If you can’t do more than you’ve been doing lately you can clear out; we can do without you even when we’re busy.”
“How much longer are you going to mess around with those doors? Why don’t you get them painted? You were goofing off there when I was here this morning. Do you really think it’s worth it to spend hour after hour with a piece of pumice stone? Get the work done! If you’re not up for it, I’ll quickly find someone else who is! I’ve been noticing how you work for a while now, and I want to make it clear that you can’t mess around with me. There are plenty of people who are better than you out there. If you can’t do more than what you’ve been doing lately, you can leave; we can manage without you even when we’re busy.”
Old Jack trembled. He tried to answer, but was unable to speak. If he had been a slave and had failed to satisfy his master, the latter might have tied him up somewhere and thrashed him. Hunter could not do that; he could only take his food away. Old Jack was frightened—it was not only HIS food that might be taken away. At last, with a great effort, for the words seemed to stick in his throat, he said:
Old Jack trembled. He tried to answer, but couldn’t get the words out. If he had been a slave and didn’t meet his master’s expectations, the master could have tied him up and beaten him. Hunter couldn’t do that; he could only take his food away. Old Jack was scared—it wasn’t just HIS food that could be taken away. Finally, after a huge effort, as the words felt like they were stuck in his throat, he said:
“I must clean the work down, sir, before I go on painting.”
“I need to clean up the workspace, sir, before I continue painting.”
“I’m not talking about what you’re doing, but the time it takes you to do it!” shouted Hunter. “And I don’t want any back answers or argument about it. You must move yourself a bit quicker or leave it alone altogether.”
“I’m not talking about what you’re doing, but the time it takes you to do it!” shouted Hunter. “And I don’t want any smart remarks or arguments about it. You need to move a little faster or just don’t bother at all.”
Linden did not answer: he went on with his work, his hand trembling to such an extent that he was scarcely able to hold the pumice stone.
Linden didn’t reply; he continued his work, his hand shaking so much that he could barely grip the pumice stone.
Hunter shouted so loud that his voice filled all the house. Everyone heard and was afraid. Who would be the next? they thought.
Hunter shouted so loudly that his voice echoed throughout the entire house. Everyone heard and felt scared. Who would be next? they wondered.
Finding that Linden made no further answer, Misery again began walking about the house.
Finding that Linden had nothing more to say, Misery started pacing around the house again.
As he looked at them the men did their work in a nervous, clumsy, hasty sort of way. They made all sorts of mistakes and messes. Payne, the foreman carpenter, was putting some new boards on a part of the drawing-room floor: he was in such a state of panic that, while driving a nail, he accidentally struck the thumb of his left hand a severe blow with his hammer. Bundy was also working in the drawing-room putting some white-glazed tiles in the fireplace. Whilst cutting one of these in half in order to fit it into its place, he inflicted a deep gash on one of his fingers. He was afraid to leave off to bind it up while Hunter was there, and consequently as he worked the white tiles became all smeared and spattered with blood. Easton, who was working with Harlow on a plank, washing off the old distemper from the hall ceiling, was so upset that he was scarcely able to stand on the plank, and presently the brush fell from his trembling hand with a crash upon the floor.
As he watched them, the men worked in a nervous, awkward, and rushed manner. They made all kinds of mistakes and created messes. Payne, the foreman carpenter, was laying down new boards in part of the drawing-room floor; he was so flustered that while hammering a nail, he accidentally hit his left thumb hard with the hammer. Bundy was also in the drawing-room, putting white-glazed tiles in the fireplace. While trying to cut one in half to fit it, he accidentally cut deeply into one of his fingers. He was too afraid to stop and bandage it while Hunter was around, so as he worked, the white tiles ended up smeared and splattered with blood. Easton, who was working with Harlow on a plank, removing the old paint from the hall ceiling, was so upset that he could barely balance on the plank, and soon the brush fell from his shaking hand with a loud crash on the floor.
Everyone was afraid. They knew that it was impossible to get a job for any other firm. They knew that this man had the power to deprive them of the means of earning a living; that he possessed the power to deprive their children of bread.
Everyone was scared. They realized that it was impossible to get a job with any other company. They understood that this man had the power to take away their ability to earn a living; that he could take away their children’s food.
Owen, listening to Hunter over the banisters upstairs, felt that he would like to take him by the throat with one hand and smash his face in with the other.
Owen, listening to Hunter from upstairs, felt like he wanted to grab him by the throat with one hand and punch his face with the other.
And then?
So what?
Why then he would be sent to gaol, or at the best he would lose his employment: his food and that of his family would be taken away. That was why he only ground his teeth and cursed and beat the wall with his clenched fist. So! and so! and so!
Why then would he be sent to jail, or at best lose his job: his food and that of his family would be taken away. That’s why he just gritted his teeth and cursed and beat the wall with his clenched fist. So! and so! and so!
If it were not for them!
If it weren't for them!
Owen’s imagination ran riot.
Owen's imagination ran wild.
First he would seize him by the collar with his left hand, dig his knuckles into his throat, force him up against the wall and then, with his right fist, smash! smash! smash! until Hunter’s face was all cut and covered with blood.
First he would grab him by the collar with his left hand, dig his knuckles into his throat, shove him against the wall, and then, with his right fist, smash! smash! smash! until Hunter’s face was all cut and covered in blood.
But then, what about those at home? Was it not braver and more manly to endure in silence?
But then, what about those at home? Wasn't it braver and more manly to endure in silence?
Owen leaned against the wall, white-faced, panting and exhausted.
Owen leaned against the wall, pale, breathing hard and worn out.
Downstairs, Misery was still going to and fro in the house and walking up and down in it. Presently he stopped to look at Sawkins’ work. This man was painting the woodwork of the back staircase. Although the old paintwork here was very dirty and greasy, Misery had given orders that it was not to be cleaned before being painted.
Downstairs, Misery was still moving around the house and pacing back and forth. Soon, he paused to check out Sawkins’ work. This guy was painting the woodwork of the back staircase. Even though the old paint in this area was really dirty and greasy, Misery had instructed that it shouldn’t be cleaned before painting.
“Just dust it down and slobber the colour on,” he had said. Consequently, when Crass made the paint, he had put into it an extra large quantity of dryers. To a certain extent this destroyed the “body” of the colour: it did not cover well; it would require two coats. When Hunter perceived this he was furious. He was sure it could be made to do with one coat with a little care; he believed Sawkins was doing it like this on purpose. Really, these men seemed to have no conscience.
“Just wipe it down and slather on the paint,” he had said. As a result, when Crass mixed the paint, he added an unusually large amount of dryers. This somewhat ruined the “body” of the color: it didn’t cover well and would need two coats. When Hunter realized this, he was furious. He was convinced it could be done with one coat if done carefully; he believed Sawkins was doing it this way on purpose. Honestly, these guys seemed to have no conscience.
Two coats! and he had estimated for only three.
Two coats! And he had only planned for three.
“Crass!”
"Rude!"
“Yes, sir.”
"Yes, sir."
“Come here!”
“Come over here!”
“Yes, sir.”
“Yup, sure.”
Crass came hurrying along.
Crass rushed over.
“What’s the meaning of this? Didn’t I tell you to make this do with one coat? Look at it!”
“What’s going on here? Didn’t I tell you to get by with just one coat? Look at this!”
“It’s like this, sir,” said Crass. “If it had been washed down—”
“It’s like this, sir,” Crass said. “If it had been cleaned up—”
“Washed down be damned,” shouted Hunter. “The reason is that the colour ain’t thick enough. Take the paint and put a little more body in it and we’ll soon see whether it can be done or not. I can make it cover if you can’t.”
“Washed down be damned,” shouted Hunter. “The reason is that the color isn’t thick enough. Take the paint and add a little more body to it, and we’ll soon see if it can be done or not. I can make it cover if you can’t.”
Crass took the paint, and, superintended by Hunter, made it thicker. Misery then seized the brush and prepared to demonstrate the possibility of finishing the work with one coat. Crass and Sawkins looked on in silence.
Crass took the paint and, supervised by Hunter, made it thicker. Misery then grabbed the brush and got ready to show that it was possible to finish the job with just one coat. Crass and Sawkins watched quietly.
Just as Misery was about to commence he fancied he heard someone whispering somewhere. He laid down the brush and crawled stealthily upstairs to see who it was. Directly his back was turned Crass seized a bottle of oil that was standing near and, tipping about half a pint of it into the paint, stirred it up quickly. Misery returned almost immediately: he had not caught anyone; it must have been fancy. He took up the brush and began to paint. The result was worse than Sawkins!
Just as Misery was about to start, he thought he heard someone whispering nearby. He put down the brush and quietly made his way upstairs to check it out. As soon as his back was turned, Crass grabbed a bottle of oil that was sitting nearby and poured about half a pint of it into the paint, stirring it up quickly. Misery came back almost right away; he hadn’t seen anyone, it must have just been his imagination. He picked up the brush and began to paint. The result was even worse than Sawkins!
He messed and fooled about for some time, but could not make it come right. At last he gave it up.
He messed around for a while, but couldn’t get it to work. Finally, he gave up.
“I suppose it’ll have to have two coats after all,” he said, mournfully. “But it’s a thousand pities.”
“I guess it’ll need two coats after all,” he said, sadly. “But it’s such a shame.”
He almost wept.
He nearly cried.
The firm would be ruined if things went on like this.
The company would be destroyed if things continued like this.
“You’d better go on with it,” he said as he laid down the brush.
“You should just go for it,” he said as he set down the brush.
He began to walk about the house again. He wanted to go away now, but he did not want them to know that he was gone, so he sneaked out of the back door, crept around the house and out of the gate, mounted his bicycle and rode away.
He started to walk around the house again. He wanted to leave now, but he didn't want them to know he was gone, so he quietly slipped out the back door, moved around the house, and out the gate, got on his bike, and rode away.
No one saw him go.
No one saw him leave.
For some time the only sounds that broke the silence were the noises made by the hands as they worked. The musical ringing of Bundy’s trowel, the noise of the carpenters’ hammers and saws and the occasional moving of a pair of steps.
For a while, the only sounds that disrupted the silence were the noises made by the hands at work. The melodic ringing of Bundy’s trowel, the sounds of the carpenters’ hammers and saws, and the occasional movement of a pair of steps.
No one dared to speak.
No one spoke up.
At last Philpot could stand it no longer. He was very thirsty.
At last, Philpot couldn't take it anymore. He was really thirsty.
He had kept the door of his room open since Hunter arrived.
He had kept his room door open since Hunter arrived.
He listened intently. He felt certain that Hunter must be gone: he looked across the landing and could see Owen working in the front room. Philpot made a little ball of paper and threw it at him to attract his attention. Owen looked round and Philpot began to make signals: he pointed downwards with one hand and jerked the thumb of the other over his shoulder in the direction of the town, winking grotesquely the while. This Owen interpreted to be an inquiry as to whether Hunter had departed. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders to intimate that he did not know.
He listened closely. He was sure that Hunter had to be gone; he looked across the landing and saw Owen working in the front room. Philpot crumpled a piece of paper into a small ball and tossed it at him to get his attention. Owen turned around, and Philpot started signaling: he pointed down with one hand and gave a thumbs-up over his shoulder towards the town, winking exaggeratedly the whole time. Owen took this to mean a question about whether Hunter had left. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders to indicate that he didn't know.
Philpot cautiously crossed the landing and peeped furtively over the banisters, listening breathlessly. “Was it gorn or not?” he wondered.
Philpot carefully crossed the landing and peeked over the banisters, listening intently. “Had it gone or not?” he wondered.
He crept along on tiptoe towards Owen’s room, glancing left and right, the trowel in his hand, and looking like a stage murderer. “Do you think it’s gorn?” he asked in a hoarse whisper when he reached Owen’s door.
He quietly tiptoed toward Owen’s room, glancing side to side, the trowel in his hand, looking like a character from a thriller. “Do you think it’s gone?” he asked in a raspy whisper when he reached Owen’s door.
“I don’t know,” replied Owen in a low tone.
"I don't know," Owen replied quietly.
Philpot wondered. He MUST have a drink, but it would never do for Hunter to see him with the bottle: he must find out somehow whether he was gone or not.
Philpot thought to himself. He really needed a drink, but he couldn't let Hunter see him with the bottle: he had to find out somehow whether Hunter was still around or not.
At last an idea came. He would go downstairs to get some more cement. Having confided this plan to Owen, he crept quietly back to the room in which he had been working, then he walked noisily across the landing again.
At last, an idea struck him. He would head downstairs to grab some more cement. After sharing this plan with Owen, he quietly returned to the room where he had been working, then walked loudly across the landing again.
“Got a bit of stopping to spare, Frank?” he asked in a loud voice.
“Got a little extra time to spare, Frank?” he asked in a loud voice.
“No,” replied Owen. “I’m not using it.”
“No,” Owen said. “I’m not using it.”
“Then I suppose I’ll have to go down and get some. Is there anything I can bring up for you?”
“Then I guess I’ll have to go down and get some. Is there anything I can bring back for you?”
“No, thanks,” replied Owen.
“No, thanks,” Owen replied.
Philpot marched boldly down to the scullery, which Crass had utilized as a paint-shop. Crass was there mixing some colour.
Philpot confidently walked down to the scullery, which Crass had turned into a paint shop. Crass was there mixing some paint.
“I want a bit of stopping,” Philpot said as he helped himself to some.
“I need to take a break,” Philpot said as he helped himself to some.
“Is the b—r gorn?” whispered Crass.
“Is the b—r gone?” whispered Crass.
“I don’t know,” replied Philpot. “Where’s his bike?”
“I don’t know,” Philpot replied. “Where’s his bike?”
“’E always leaves it outside the gate, so’s we can’t see it,” replied Crass.
“Like, he always leaves it outside the gate, so we can’t see it,” replied Crass.
“Tell you what,” whispered Philpot, after a pause. “Give the boy a hempty bottle and let ’im go to the gate and look to the bikes there. If Misery sees him ’e can pretend to be goin’ to the shop for some hoil.”
“Here’s the deal,” whispered Philpot, after a pause. “Give the boy an empty bottle and let him go to the gate to check on the bikes. If Misery sees him, he can pretend he’s heading to the shop for some oil.”
This was done. Bert went to the gate and returned almost immediately: the bike was gone. As the good news spread through the house a chorus of thanksgiving burst forth.
This was done. Bert went to the gate and came back almost right away: the bike was missing. As the good news spread through the house, a chorus of thanks erupted.
“Thank Gord!” said one.
“Thank goodness!” said one.
“Hope the b—r falls orf and breaks ’is bloody neck,” said another.
“Hope the bastard falls off and breaks his damn neck,” said another.
“These Bible-thumpers are all the same; no one ever knew one to be any good yet,” cried a third.
“These Bible-thumpers are all the same; I’ve never met one who was any good,” shouted a third.
Directly they knew for certain that he was gone, nearly everyone left off work for a few minutes to curse him. Then they again went on working and now that they were relieved of the embarrassment that Misery’s presence inspired, they made better progress. A few of them lit their pipes and smoked as they worked.
As soon as they confirmed that he was really gone, almost everyone took a few minutes to complain about him. Then they got back to work, and now that they didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness his presence caused, they made more progress. A few of them lit their pipes and smoked while they worked.
One of these was old Jack Linden. He was upset by the bullying he had received, and when he noticed some of the others smoking he thought he would have a pipe; it might steady his nerves. As a rule he did not smoke when working; it was contrary to orders.
One of these was old Jack Linden. He was frustrated by the bullying he had faced, and when he saw some of the others smoking, he thought he would have a pipe; it might calm his nerves. Generally, he didn’t smoke while working; it was against the rules.
As Philpot was returning to work again he paused for a moment to whisper to Linden, with the result that the latter accompanied him upstairs.
As Philpot was heading back to work, he took a moment to whisper to Linden, resulting in Linden joining him upstairs.
On reaching Philpot’s room the latter placed the step-ladder near the cupboard and, taking down the bottle of beer, handed it to Linden with the remark, “Get some of that acrost yer, matey; it’ll put yer right.”
On reaching Philpot’s room, he set the step-ladder next to the cupboard and, taking down the bottle of beer, handed it to Linden with the comment, “Have some of this, buddy; it’ll do you good.”
While Linden was taking a hasty drink, Joe kept watch on the landing outside in case Hunter should suddenly and unexpectedly reappear.
While Linden took a quick drink, Joe kept an eye on the landing outside in case Hunter suddenly showed up again.
When Linden was gone downstairs again, Philpot, having finished what remained of the beer and hidden the bottle up the chimney, resumed the work of stopping up the holes and cracks in the ceiling and walls. He must make a bit of a show tonight or there would be a hell of a row when Misery came in the morning.
When Linden went back downstairs, Philpot, having finished the last of the beer and tucked the bottle up the chimney, got back to patching the holes and cracks in the ceiling and walls. He needed to put on a good show tonight or there would be a big argument when Misery came in the morning.
Owen worked on in a disheartened, sullen way. He felt like a beaten dog.
Owen kept working in a defeated, gloomy manner. He felt like a kicked dog.
He was more indignant on poor old Linden’s account than on his own, and was oppressed by a sense of impotence and shameful degradation.
He felt more furious on behalf of poor old Linden than for himself, and he was overwhelmed by a feeling of powerlessness and shameful humiliation.
All his life it had been the same: incessant work under similar more or less humiliating conditions, and with no more result than being just able to avoid starvation.
All his life, it had been the same: endless work under pretty much the same humiliating conditions, and with no better result than barely managing to avoid starvation.
And the future, as far as he could see, was as hopeless as the past; darker, for there would surely come a time, if he lived long enough, when he would be unable to work any more.
And the future, from what he could see, looked just as hopeless as the past; even darker, since there would definitely come a time, if he lived long enough, when he wouldn't be able to work anymore.
He thought of his child. Was he to be a slave and a drudge all his life also?
He thought about his child. Was he going to be a slave and a laborer for his entire life too?
It would be better for the boy to die now.
It would be better for the boy to die now.
As Owen thought of his child’s future there sprung up within him a feeling of hatred and fury against the majority of his fellow workmen.
As Owen considered his child’s future, he felt a surge of hatred and anger toward most of his fellow workers.
They were the enemy. Those who not only quietly submitted like so many cattle to the existing state of things, but defended it, and opposed and ridiculed any suggestion to alter it.
They were the enemy. Those who not only quietly accepted the current situation like so many cattle, but also defended it, and opposed and mocked any suggestion to change it.
They were the real oppressors—the men who spoke of themselves as “The likes of us,” who, having lived in poverty and degradation all their lives considered that what had been good enough for them was good enough for the children they had been the cause of bringing into existence.
They were the true oppressors—the men who referred to themselves as “People like us,” who, having lived in poverty and misery their entire lives, believed that what was good enough for them was also good enough for the children they had brought into the world.
He hated and despised them because they calmly saw their children condemned to hard labour and poverty for life, and deliberately refused to make any effort to secure for them better conditions than those they had themselves.
He hated and despised them because they calmly watched their children condemned to a life of hard work and poverty, and intentionally chose not to make any effort to provide them with better conditions than what they had experienced themselves.
It was because they were indifferent to the fate of THEIR children that he would be unable to secure a natural and human life for HIS. It was their apathy or active opposition that made it impossible to establish a better system of society under which those who did their fair share of the world’s work would be honoured and rewarded. Instead of helping to do this, they abased themselves, and grovelled before their oppressors, and compelled and taught their children to do the same. THEY were the people who were really responsible for the continuance of the present system.
It was because they didn't care about the fate of THEIR children that he wouldn't be able to secure a natural and humane life for HIS. Their indifference or outright opposition made it impossible to create a better society where those who contributed fairly to the world would be recognized and rewarded. Instead of helping to make this happen, they degraded themselves, groveled before their oppressors, and forced their children to do the same. THEY were the ones truly responsible for the ongoing existence of the current system.
Owen laughed bitterly to himself. What a very comical system it was.
Owen laughed bitterly to himself. What a ridiculous system it was.
Those who worked were looked upon with contempt, and subjected to every possible indignity. Nearly everything they produced was taken away from them and enjoyed by the people who did nothing. And then the workers bowed down and grovelled before those who had robbed them of the fruits of their labour and were childishly grateful to them for leaving anything at all.
Those who worked were treated with disdain and faced every kind of humiliation. Almost everything they created was taken from them and enjoyed by those who did nothing. Then, the workers would bow down and grovel before those who had stolen the results of their hard work and were naively grateful for being allowed to keep anything at all.
No wonder the rich despised them and looked upon them as dirt. They WERE despicable. They WERE dirt. They admitted it and gloried in it.
No wonder the wealthy looked down on them and saw them as worthless. They WERE despicable. They WERE worthless. They accepted it and took pride in it.
While these thoughts were seething in Owen’s mind, his fellow workmen were still patiently toiling on downstairs. Most of them had by this time dismissed Hunter from their thoughts. They did not take things so seriously as Owen. They flattered themselves that they had more sense than that. It could not be altered. Grin and bear it. After all, it was only for life! Make the best of things, and get your own back whenever you get a chance.
While these thoughts were boiling in Owen’s mind, his co-workers were still diligently working downstairs. At this point, most of them had already stopped thinking about Hunter. They didn’t take things as seriously as Owen did. They convinced themselves that they were smarter than that. It couldn’t be changed. Just grin and bear it. After all, it was only for life! Make the most of it and get your revenge whenever you can.
Presently Harlow began to sing. He had a good voice and it was a good song, but his mates just then did not appreciate either one or the other. His singing was the signal for an outburst of exclamations and catcalls.
Presently, Harlow started to sing. He had a great voice, and it was a nice song, but his friends didn't appreciate either at that moment. His singing triggered a wave of exclamations and catcalls.
“Shut it, for Christ’s sake!”
“Be quiet, for goodness' sake!”
“That’s enough of that bloody row!”
“That’s enough of that damn argument!”
And so on. Harlow stopped.
And so forth. Harlow stopped.
“How’s the enemy?” asked Easton presently, addressing no one in particular.
“How’s the enemy?” Easton asked casually, not really talking to anyone in particular.
“Don’t know,” replied Bundy. “It must be about half past four. Ask Slyme; he’s got a watch.”
“Not sure,” replied Bundy. “It’s probably around four-thirty. Ask Slyme; he has a watch.”
It was a quarter past four.
It was 4:15 PM.
“It gets dark very early now,” said Easton.
“It gets dark really early now,” said Easton.
“Yes,” replied Bundy. “It’s been very dull all day. I think it’s goin’ to rain. Listen to the wind.”
“Yes,” replied Bundy. “It’s been really boring all day. I think it’s going to rain. Listen to the wind.”
“I ’ope not,” replied Easton. “That means a wet shirt goin’ ’ome.”
“I hope not,” replied Easton. “That means a wet shirt going home.”
He called out to old Jack Linden, who was still working at the front doors:
He called out to old Jack Linden, who was still working at the front doors:
“Is it raining, Jack?”
"Is it raining, Jack?"
Old Jack, his pipe still in his mouth, turned to look at the weather. It was raining, but Linden did not see the large drops which splashed heavily upon the ground. He saw only Hunter, who was standing at the gate, watching him. For a few seconds the two men looked at each other in silence. Linden was paralysed with fear. Recovering himself, he hastily removed his pipe, but it was too late.
Old Jack, his pipe still in his mouth, turned to check the weather. It was raining, but Linden didn’t notice the big drops splashing heavily on the ground. He only saw Hunter, who was standing at the gate, watching him. For a few seconds, the two men stared at each other in silence. Linden was frozen with fear. After a moment, he quickly took out his pipe, but it was too late.
Misery strode up.
Misery walked up.
“I don’t pay you for smoking,” he said, loudly. “Make out your time sheet, take it to the office and get your money. I’ve had enough of you!”
“I’m not paying you to smoke,” he said, loudly. “Fill out your time sheet, take it to the office, and get your pay. I’m done with you!”
Jack made no attempt to defend himself: he knew it was of no use. He silently put aside the things he had been using, went into the room where he had left his tool-bag and coat, removed his apron and white jacket, folded them up and put them into his tool-bag along with the tools he had been using—a chisel-knife and a shavehook—put on his coat, and, with the tool-bag slung over his shoulder, went away from the house.
Jack didn’t try to defend himself; he knew it was pointless. He quietly set aside the items he had been using, then went into the room where he had left his tool bag and coat. He took off his apron and white jacket, folded them, and placed them into his tool bag along with the tools he had been using—a chisel knife and a shavehook. He put on his coat, slung the tool bag over his shoulder, and left the house.
Without speaking to anyone else, Hunter then hastily walked over the place, noting what progress had been made by each man during his absence. He then rode away, as he wanted to get to the office in time to give Linden his money.
Without talking to anyone else, Hunter quickly walked over to the area, observing what each man had accomplished during his time away. He then rode off, eager to reach the office in time to give Linden his money.
It was now very cold and dark within the house, and as the gas was not yet laid on, Crass distributed a number of candles to the men, who worked silently, each occupied with his own gloomy thoughts. Who would be the next?
It was really cold and dark inside the house now, and since the gas wasn't installed yet, Crass handed out a few candles to the men, who worked quietly, each lost in their own dark thoughts. Who would be next?
Outside, sombre masses of lead-coloured clouds gathered ominously in the tempestuous sky. The gale roared loudly round the old-fashioned house and the windows rattled discordantly. Rain fell in torrents.
Outside, dark gray clouds gathered ominously in the stormy sky. The wind howled around the old house, and the windows rattled noisily. Rain poured down in sheets.
They said it meant getting wet through going home, but all the same, Thank God it was nearly five o’clock!
They said it meant getting soaked on the way home, but either way, Thank God it was almost five o’clock!
Chapter 3
The Financiers
That night as Easton walked home through the rain he felt very depressed. It had been a very bad summer for most people and he had not fared better than the rest. A few weeks with one firm, a few days with another, then out of a job, then on again for a month perhaps, and so on.
That night as Easton walked home in the rain, he felt really down. It had been a rough summer for most people, and he wasn’t doing any better than anyone else. A few weeks with one company, a few days with another, then out of a job, back in for maybe a month, and so on.
William Easton was a man of medium height, about twenty-three years old, with fair hair and moustache and blue eyes. He wore a stand-up collar with a coloured tie and his clothes, though shabby, were clean and neat.
William Easton was a man of average height, around twenty-three years old, with light hair and a mustache and blue eyes. He wore a stand-up collar with a colored tie, and his clothes, though worn, were clean and tidy.
He was married: his wife was a young woman whose acquaintance he had made when he happened to be employed with others painting the outside of the house where she was a general servant. They had “walked out” for about fifteen months. Easton had been in no hurry to marry, for he knew that, taking good times with bad, his wages did no average a pound a week. At the end of that time, however, he found that he could not honourably delay longer, so they were married.
He was married: his wife was a young woman he had met while working with others painting the exterior of the house where she worked as a general servant. They had been dating for about fifteen months. Easton hadn't rushed into marriage because, considering the good times and the bad, his wages barely added up to a pound a week. However, after that time, he realized he could no longer postpone things honorably, so they got married.
That was twelve months ago.
That was a year ago.
As a single man he had never troubled much if he happened to be out of work; he always had enough to live on and pocket money besides; but now that he was married it was different; the fear of being “out” haunted him all the time.
As a single guy, he never really worried much about being unemployed; he always had enough to get by and even some extra cash. But now that he was married, it felt different; the fear of being out of work haunted him constantly.
He had started for Rushton & Co. on the previous Monday after having been idle for three weeks, and as the house where he was working had to be done right through he had congratulated himself on having secured a job that would last till Christmas; but he now began to fear that what had befallen Jack Linden might also happen to himself at any time. He would have to be very careful not to offend Crass in any way. He was afraid the latter did not like him very much as it was. Easton knew that Crass could get him the sack at any time, and would not scruple to do so if he wanted to make room for some crony of his own. Crass was the “coddy” or foreman of the job. Considered as a workman he had no very unusual abilities; he was if anything inferior to the majority of his fellow workmen. But although he had but little real ability he pretended to know everything, and the vague references he was in the habit of making to “tones”, and “shades”, and “harmony”, had so impressed Hunter that the latter had a high opinion of him as a workman. It was by pushing himself forward in this way and by judicious toadying to Hunter that Crass managed to get himself put in charge of work.
He started working for Rushton & Co. the previous Monday after being out of work for three weeks. Since the house he was working on needed a complete job, he congratulated himself on getting a position that would last until Christmas. However, he now worried that what happened to Jack Linden could happen to him at any moment. He realized he needed to be very careful not to upset Crass in any way. He was concerned that Crass didn’t like him very much as it was. Easton knew that Crass could get him fired anytime he wanted and wouldn’t hesitate to do so if he needed to make space for one of his buddies. Crass was the foreman of the job. As a worker, he didn’t have any extraordinary skills; in fact, he was probably below average compared to most of his colleagues. But even though he had little real talent, he acted like he knew everything. The vague mentions he often made about “tones,” “shades,” and “harmony” impressed Hunter so much that Hunter held him in high regard as a worker. It was by promoting himself this way and by flattering Hunter that Crass managed to get himself put in charge of the work.
Although Crass did as little work as possible himself he took care that the others worked hard. Any man who failed to satisfy him in this respect he reported to Hunter as being “no good”, or “too slow for a funeral”. The result was that this man was dispensed with at the end of the week. The men knew this, and most of them feared the wily Crass accordingly, though there were a few whose known abilities placed them to a certain extent above the reach of his malice. Frank Owen was one of these.
Although Crass did the bare minimum himself, he made sure that the others worked hard. Any guy who didn't meet his expectations got reported to Hunter as being “no good” or “too slow for a funeral.” As a result, that guy was let go at the end of the week. The workers were aware of this, and most of them were wary of the crafty Crass, though there were a few whose proven skills kept them somewhat safe from his spite. Frank Owen was one of those.
There were others who by the judicious administration of pipefuls of tobacco and pints of beer, managed to keep in Crass’s good graces and often retained their employment when better workmen were “stood off”.
There were others who, by wisely managing their smokes and pints of beer, were able to stay in Crass’s good books and often kept their jobs even when more skilled workers were let go.
As he walked home through the rain thinking of these things, Easton realized that it was not possible to foresee what a day or even an hour might bring forth.
As he walked home through the rain, reflecting on these thoughts, Easton understood that it was impossible to predict what a day or even an hour might bring.
By this time he had arrived at his home; it was a small house, one of a long row of similar ones, and it contained altogether four rooms.
By this time, he had reached his house; it was a small home, part of a long line of similar ones, and it had a total of four rooms.
The front door opened into a passage about two feet six inches wide and ten feet in length, covered with oilcloth. At the end of the passage was a flight of stairs leading to the upper part of the house. The first door on the left led into the front sitting-room, an apartment about nine feet square, with a bay window. This room was very rarely used and was always very tidy and clean. The mantelpiece was of wood painted black and ornamented with jagged streaks of red and yellow, which were supposed to give it the appearance of marble. On the walls was a paper with a pale terra-cotta ground and a pattern consisting of large white roses with chocolate coloured leaves and stalks.
The front door opened into a hallway about two and a half feet wide and ten feet long, covered with oilcloth. At the end of the hallway was a set of stairs leading to the upper part of the house. The first door on the left opened into the front sitting room, a space about nine feet square, with a bay window. This room was very seldom used and was always neat and clean. The mantelpiece was made of wood painted black and decorated with jagged streaks of red and yellow, designed to look like marble. The walls were covered with pale terra-cotta wallpaper featuring large white roses with brown leaves and stems.
There was a small iron fender with fire-irons to match, and on the mantelshelf stood a clock in a polished wood case, a pair of blue glass vases, and some photographs in frames. The floor was covered with oilcloth of a tile pattern in yellow and red. On the walls were two or three framed coloured prints such as are presented with Christmas numbers of illustrated papers. There was also a photograph of a group of Sunday School girls with their teachers with the church for the background. In the centre of the room was a round deal table about three feet six inches across, with the legs stained red to look like mahogany. Against one wall was an old couch covered with faded cretonne, four chairs to match standing backs to wall in different parts of the room. The table was covered with a red cloth with a yellow crewel work design in the centre and in each of the four corners, the edges being overcast in the same material. On the table were a lamp and a number of brightly bound books.
There was a small iron fender with matching fire tools, and on the mantelpiece stood a clock in a polished wood case, a pair of blue glass vases, and some photos in frames. The floor was covered with oilcloth in a yellow and red tile pattern. On the walls hung a couple of framed colored prints, similar to those given away with holiday issues of illustrated magazines. There was also a photo of a group of Sunday School girls with their teachers, with the church in the background. In the center of the room was a round table made of deal, about three and a half feet across, with legs stained red to resemble mahogany. Against one wall was an old couch covered in faded fabric, with four matching chairs positioned against the walls in different areas of the room. The table was draped with a red cloth featuring a yellow embroidery design in the center and in each of the four corners, with the edges overstitched in the same material. On the table were a lamp and a stack of brightly bound books.
Some of these things, as the couch and the chairs, Easton had bought second-hand and had done up himself. The table, oilcloth, fender, hearthrug, etc, had been obtained on the hire system and were not yet paid for. The windows were draped with white lace curtains and in the bay was a small bamboo table on which reposed a large Holy Bible, cheaply but showily bound.
Some of these items, like the couch and chairs, Easton had purchased second-hand and had refurbished himself. The table, oilcloth, fender, hearth rug, and so on had been obtained through a hire purchase plan and weren't fully paid off yet. The windows were covered with white lace curtains, and in the bay was a small bamboo table that held a large Holy Bible, which was cheaply yet flamboyantly bound.
If anyone had ever opened this book they would have found that its pages were as clean as the other things in the room, and on the flyleaf might have been read the following inscription: “To dear Ruth, from her loving friend Mrs Starvem with the prayer that God’s word may be her guide and that Jesus may be her very own Saviour. Oct. 12. 19—”
If anyone had ever opened this book, they would have found that its pages were just as clean as everything else in the room, and on the flyleaf they might have read the following inscription: “To dear Ruth, from her loving friend Mrs. Starvem, with the hope that God’s word may guide her and that Jesus may be her very own Savior. Oct. 12. 19—”
Mrs Starvem was Ruth’s former mistress, and this had been her parting gift when Ruth left to get married. It was supposed to be a keepsake, but as Ruth never opened the book and never willingly allowed her thoughts to dwell upon the scenes of which it reminded her, she had forgotten the existence of Mrs Starvem almost as completely as that well-to-do and pious lady had forgotten hers.
Mrs. Starvem was Ruth's former employer, and this was her farewell gift when Ruth got married. It was meant to be a keepsake, but since Ruth never opened the book and never allowed herself to think about the memories it brought up, she had almost completely forgotten about Mrs. Starvem, just as that wealthy and devout lady had forgotten about her.
For Ruth, the memory of the time she spent in the house of “her loving friend” was the reverse of pleasant. It comprised a series of recollections of petty tyrannies, insults and indignities. Six years of cruelly excessive work, beginning every morning two or three hours before the rest of the household were awake and ceasing only when she went exhausted to bed, late at night.
For Ruth, the memory of her time in "her loving friend's" house was anything but pleasant. It was a collection of experiences filled with small tyrannies, insults, and humiliations. Six years of brutally excessive work, starting every morning two or three hours before everyone else in the house woke up and ending only when she collapsed into bed, exhausted, late at night.
She had been what is called a “slavey” but if she had been really a slave her owner would have had some regard for her health and welfare: her “loving friend” had had none. Mrs Starvem’s only thought had been to get out of Ruth the greatest possible amount of labour and to give her as little as possible in return.
She had been what’s known as a “slavey,” but if she had actually been a slave, her owner would have cared for her health and well-being: her “loving friend” did not. Mrs. Starvem’s only concern was to extract the maximum amount of work from Ruth while giving her the bare minimum in return.
When Ruth looked back upon that dreadful time she saw it, as one might say, surrounded by a halo of religion. She never passed by a chapel or heard the name of God, or the singing of a hymn, without thinking of her former mistress. To have looked into this Bible would have reminded her of Mrs Starvem; that was one of the reasons why the book reposed, unopened and unread, a mere ornament on the table in the bay window.
When Ruth looked back on that awful time, she saw it, as some might say, surrounded by a sense of faith. She couldn’t pass by a chapel or hear God’s name or a hymn without thinking of her former mistress. Just opening this Bible would remind her of Mrs. Starvem; that was one of the reasons why the book sat there, unopened and unread, just a decoration on the table in the bay window.
The second door in the passage near the foot of the stairs led into the kitchen or living-room: from here another door led into the scullery. Upstairs were two bedrooms.
The second door in the hallway near the bottom of the stairs opened into the kitchen or living room: from there, another door opened into the utility room. Upstairs were two bedrooms.
As Easton entered the house, his wife met him in the passage and asked him not to make a noise as the child had just gone to sleep. They kissed each other and she helped him to remove his wet overcoat. Then they both went softly into the kitchen.
As Easton walked into the house, his wife greeted him in the hallway and asked him to keep it down since the child had just fallen asleep. They kissed each other, and she helped him take off his wet overcoat. Then they both quietly made their way into the kitchen.
This room was about the same size as the sitting-room. At one end was a small range with an oven and a boiler, and a high mantelpiece painted black. On the mantelshelf was a small round alarm clock and some brightly polished tin canisters. At the other end of the room, facing the fireplace, was a small dresser on the shelves of which were neatly arranged a number of plates and dishes. The walls were papered with oak paper. On one wall, between two coloured almanacks, hung a tin lamp with a reflector behind the light. In the middle of the room was an oblong deal table with a white tablecloth upon which the tea things were set ready. There were four kitchen chairs, two of which were placed close to the table. Overhead, across the room, about eighteen inches down from the ceiling, were stretched several cords upon which were drying a number of linen or calico undergarments, a coloured shirt, and Easton’s white apron and jacket. On the back of a chair at one side of the fire more clothes were drying. At the other side on the floor was a wicker cradle in which a baby was sleeping. Nearby stood a chair with a towel hung on the back, arranged so as to shade the infant’s face from the light of the lamp. An air of homely comfort pervaded the room; the atmosphere was warm, and the fire blazed cheerfully over the whitened hearth.
This room was about the same size as the living room. At one end was a small stove with an oven and a water heater, and a tall black-painted mantelpiece. On the mantel, there was a small round alarm clock and some shiny tin canisters. At the other end of the room, facing the fireplace, was a small dresser with neatly arranged plates and dishes on its shelves. The walls were covered with oak-patterned wallpaper. On one wall, between two colorful calendars, hung a tin lamp with a reflector behind the light. In the middle of the room was a rectangular wooden table with a white tablecloth, set with the tea things. There were four kitchen chairs, two of which were placed close to the table. Above, across the room, about eighteen inches down from the ceiling, were several cords stretching across to dry a number of linen or cotton undergarments, a colorful shirt, and Easton’s white apron and jacket. On the back of a chair next to the fire, more clothes were drying. On the other side, on the floor, was a wicker cradle with a sleeping baby. Nearby stood a chair with a towel draped over the back, arranged to shade the infant’s face from the light of the lamp. The room had a cozy, comfortable vibe; the atmosphere was warm, and the fire blazed cheerfully in the clean hearth.
They walked softly over and stood by the cradle side looking at the child; as they looked the baby kept moving uneasily in its sleep. Its face was very flushed and its eyes were moving under the half-closed lids. Every now and again its lips were drawn back slightly, showing part of the gums; presently it began to whimper, drawing up its knees as if in pain.
They walked quietly over and stood by the cradle, watching the baby; as they did, the child stirred restlessly in its sleep. Its face was very red, and its eyes were moving beneath half-closed lids. Every so often, its lips would curl back slightly, revealing part of its gums; soon, it started to whimper, pulling its knees up as if it were in pain.
“He seems to have something wrong with him,” said Easton.
“He seems to have something off about him,” said Easton.
“I think it’s his teeth,” replied the mother. “He’s been very restless all day and he was awake nearly all last night.”
“I think it’s his teeth,” said the mother. “He’s been really fussy all day and was awake almost all night.”
“P’r’aps he’s hungry.”
"Maybe he's hungry."
“No, it can’t be that. He had the best part of an egg this morning and I’ve nursed him several times today. And then at dinner-time he had a whole saucer full of fried potatoes with little bits of bacon in it.”
“No, it can't be that. He had most of an egg this morning, and I’ve fed him several times today. Then at dinner, he had an entire saucer full of fried potatoes with small pieces of bacon in it.”
Again the infant whimpered and twisted in its sleep, its lips drawn back showing the gums: its knees pressed closely to its body, the little fists clenched, and face flushed. Then after a few seconds it became placid: the mouth resumed its usual shape; the limbs relaxed and the child slumbered peacefully.
Again the baby whimpered and squirmed in its sleep, its lips pulled back showing its gums: its knees drawn tightly to its body, little fists clenched, and face flushed. Then after a few seconds, it became calm: the mouth returned to its usual shape; the limbs relaxed, and the child slept peacefully.
“Don’t you think he’s getting thin?” asked Easton. “It may be fancy, but he don’t seem to me to be as big now as he was three months ago.”
“Don’t you think he’s getting skinny?” asked Easton. “It might be just my imagination, but he doesn't seem as big to me as he did three months ago.”
“No, he’s not quite so fat,” admitted Ruth. “It’s his teeth what’s wearing him out; he don’t hardly get no rest at all with them.”
“No, he’s not that fat,” Ruth admitted. “It’s his teeth that are wearing him out; he hardly gets any rest at all because of them.”
They continued looking at him a little longer. Ruth thought he was a very beautiful child: he would be eight months old on Sunday. They were sorry they could do nothing to ease his pain, but consoled themselves with the reflection that he would be all right once those teeth were through.
They kept looking at him for a bit longer. Ruth thought he was a really cute baby: he would turn eight months old on Sunday. They felt bad that they couldn't do anything to ease his discomfort, but they comforted themselves with the thought that he'd be fine once those teeth came in.
“Well, let’s have some tea,” said Easton at last.
“Well, let’s have some tea,” Easton finally said.
Whilst he removed his wet boots and socks and placed them in front of the fire to dry and put on dry socks and a pair of slippers in their stead, Ruth half filled a tin basin with hot water from the boiler and gave it to him, and he then went to the scullery, added some cold water and began to wash the paint off his hands. This done he returned to the kitchen and sat down at the table.
While he took off his wet boots and socks and set them in front of the fire to dry, he put on dry socks and a pair of slippers instead. Ruth filled a tin basin halfway with hot water from the boiler and handed it to him. He then went to the scullery, added some cold water, and started washing the paint off his hands. Once he was done, he returned to the kitchen and sat down at the table.
“I couldn’t think what to give you to eat tonight,” said Ruth as she poured out the tea. “I hadn’t got no money left and there wasn’t nothing in the house except bread and butter and that piece of cheese, so I cut some bread and butter and put some thin slices of cheese on it and toasted it on a place in front of the fire. I hope you’ll like it: it was the best I could do.”
“I couldn’t figure out what to make you for dinner tonight,” said Ruth as she poured the tea. “I didn’t have any money left and there was nothing in the house except bread and butter and that piece of cheese, so I sliced some bread, added butter, and put thin slices of cheese on top, then toasted it in front of the fire. I hope you’ll like it; it was the best I could do.”
“That’s all right: it smells very nice anyway, and I’m very hungry.”
“That’s okay: it smells really good anyway, and I’m super hungry.”
As they were taking their tea Easton told his wife about Linden’s affair and his apprehensions as to what might befall himself. They were both very indignant, and sorry for poor old Linden, but their sympathy for him was soon forgotten in their fears for their own immediate future.
As they were having their tea, Easton told his wife about Linden’s affair and his worries about what could happen to him. They were both really upset and felt bad for poor old Linden, but their sympathy for him quickly faded as they focused on their own immediate concerns.
They remained at the table in silence for some time: then,
They sat at the table in silence for a while; then,
“How much rent do we owe now?” asked Easton.
“How much rent do we owe now?” Easton asked.
“Four weeks, and I promised the collector the last time he called that we’d pay two weeks next Monday. He was quite nasty about it.”
“Four weeks, and I told the collector the last time he called that we’d pay two weeks next Monday. He was really rude about it.”
“Well, I suppose you’ll have to pay it, that’s all,” said Easton.
“Well, I guess you’ll just have to pay it, that’s it,” said Easton.
“How much money will you have tomorrow?” asked Ruth.
“How much money will you have tomorrow?” Ruth asked.
He began to reckon up his time: he started on Monday and today was Friday: five days, from seven to five, less half an hour for breakfast and an hour for dinner, eight and a half hours a day—forty-two hours and a half. At sevenpence an hour that came to one pound four and ninepence halfpenny.
He started calculating his hours: he began on Monday and today is Friday: five days, from seven to five, minus half an hour for breakfast and an hour for lunch, which is eight and a half hours a day—totaling forty-two and a half hours. At seven pence an hour, that adds up to one pound four shillings and nine and a half pence.
“You know I only started on Monday,” he said, “so there’s no back day to come. Tomorrow goes into next week.”
“You know I just started on Monday,” he said, “so there’s no previous day to reference. Tomorrow carries over into next week.”
“Yes, I know,” replied Ruth.
“Yes, I know,” Ruth replied.
“If we pay the two week’s rent that’ll leave us twelve shillings to live on.”
“If we pay the two weeks' rent, we'll have twelve shillings left to live on.”
“But we won’t be able to keep all of that,” said Ruth, “because there’s other things to pay.”
“But we won’t be able to keep all of that,” said Ruth, “because there are other things to pay for.”
“What other things?”
“What else?”
“We owe the baker eight shillings for the bread he let us have while you were not working, and there’s about twelve shillings owing for groceries. We’ll have to pay them something on account. Then we want some more coal; there’s only about a shovelful left, and—”
“We owe the baker eight shillings for the bread he gave us while you weren’t working, and there’s about twelve shillings due for groceries. We’ll need to pay them something on account. Then we need more coal; there’s only about a shovelful left, and—”
“Wait a minnit,” said Easton. “The best way is to write out a list of everything we owe; then we shall know exactly where we are. You get me a piece of paper and tell me what to write. Then we’ll see what it all comes to.”
“Hold on a second,” said Easton. “The best way is to make a list of everything we owe; then we'll know exactly where we stand. You get me a piece of paper and tell me what to write. Then we’ll see what it all adds up to.”
“Do you mean everything we owe, or everything we must pay tomorrow.”
“Are you referring to everything we owe, or everything we have to pay tomorrow?”
“I think we’d better make a list of all we owe first.”
“I think we should probably make a list of everything we owe first.”
While they were talking the baby was sleeping restlessly, occasionally uttering plaintive little cries. The mother now went and knelt at the side of the cradle, which she gently rocked with one hand, patting the infant with the other.
While they were talking, the baby was sleeping fitfully, occasionally letting out soft, sad cries. The mother then went and knelt beside the cradle, gently rocking it with one hand while patting the baby with the other.
“Except the furniture people, the biggest thing we owe is the rent,” she said when Easton was ready to begin.
“Besides the furniture people, the biggest thing we owe is the rent,” she said when Easton was ready to start.
“It seems to me,” said he, as, after having cleared a space on the table and arranged the paper, he began to sharpen his pencil with a table-knife, “that you don’t manage things as well as you might. If you was to make a list of just the things you MUST have before you went out of a Saturday, you’d find the money would go much farther. Instead of doing that you just take the money in your hand without knowing exactly what you’re going to do with it, and when you come back it’s all gone and next to nothing to show for it.”
“It seems to me,” he said, as he cleared a space on the table and arranged the paper, starting to sharpen his pencil with a table knife, “that you don’t manage things as well as you could. If you made a list of just the things you MUST have before you head out on a Saturday, you’d find the money would last much longer. Instead of doing that, you just take the money in your hand without knowing exactly what you’re going to do with it, and when you come back, it’s all gone with hardly anything to show for it.”
His wife made no reply: her head was bent over the child.
His wife didn't respond; she was focused on the child.
“Now, let’s see,” went on her husband. “First of all there’s the rent. How much did you say we owe?”
“Now, let’s see,” her husband continued. “First of all, there’s the rent. How much did you say we owe?”
“Four weeks. That’s the three weeks you were out and this week.”
“Four weeks. That’s the three weeks you were gone and this week.”
“Four sixes is twenty-four; that’s one pound four,” said Easton as he wrote it down. “Next?”
“Four sixes is twenty-four; that’s one pound four,” Easton said as he wrote it down. “What’s next?”
“Grocer, twelve shillings.”
“Grocery, twelve shillings.”
Easton looked up in astonishment.
Easton looked up in shock.
“Twelve shillings. Why, didn’t you tell me only the other day that you’d paid up all we owed for groceries?”
“Twelve shillings. Didn’t you just tell me the other day that you paid off everything we owed for groceries?”
“Don’t you remember we owed thirty-five shillings last spring? Well, I’ve been paying that bit by bit all the summer. I paid the last of it the week you finished your last job. Then you were out three weeks—up till last Friday—and as we had nothing in hand I had to get what we wanted without paying for it.”
“Don’t you remember we owed thirty-five shillings last spring? Well, I’ve been paying that little by little all summer. I paid the last of it the week you finished your last job. Then you were out for three weeks—up until last Friday—and since we didn’t have anything saved, I had to get what we needed without paying for it.”
“But do you mean to say it cost us three shillings a week for tea and sugar and butter?”
"But are you saying it cost us three shillings a week for tea, sugar, and butter?"
“It’s not only them. There’s been bacon and eggs and cheese and other things.”
“It’s not just them. There’s been bacon, eggs, cheese, and other stuff.”
The man was beginning to become impatient.
The man was starting to get impatient.
“Well,” he said, “What else?”
“Well,” he said, “What now?”
“We owe the baker eight shillings. We did owe nearly a pound, but I’ve been paying it off a little at a time.”
“We owe the baker eight shillings. We used to owe almost a pound, but I’ve been paying it down bit by bit.”
This was added to the list.
This was added to the list.
“Then there’s the milkman. I’ve not paid him for four weeks. He hasn’t sent a bill yet, but you can reckon it up; we have two penn’orth every day.”
“Then there’s the milkman. I haven’t paid him for four weeks. He hasn't sent a bill yet, but you can figure it out; we get two pence worth every day.”
“That’s four and eight,” said Easton, writing it down. “Anything else?”
“That’s four and eight,” Easton said, jotting it down. “Anything else?”
“One and seven to the greengrocer for potatoes, cabbage, and paraffin oil.”
“One and seven to the grocery store for potatoes, cabbage, and kerosene.”
“Anything else?”
“Anything else?”
“We owe the butcher two and sevenpence.”
“We owe the butcher two pounds and seven pence.”
“Why, we haven’t had any meat for a long time,” said Easton. “When was it?”
“Wow, we haven't had any meat in a long time,” Easton said. “When was the last time?”
“Three weeks ago; don’t you remember? A small leg of mutton,”
“Three weeks ago; don’t you remember? A small leg of lamb,”
“Oh, yes,” and he added the item.
“Oh, yes,” he said, adding the item.
“Then there’s the instalments for the furniture and oilcloth—twelve shillings. A letter came from them today. And there’s something else.”
“Then there are the payments for the furniture and oilcloth—twelve shillings. I got a letter from them today. And there’s something else.”
She took three letters from the pocket of her dress and handed them to him.
She took three letters from her dress pocket and gave them to him.
“They all came today. I didn’t show them to you before as I didn’t want to upset you before you had your tea.”
“They all came today. I didn’t show them to you earlier because I didn’t want to upset you before you had your tea.”
Easton drew the first letter from its envelope.
Easton took the first letter out of its envelope.
CORPORATION OF MUGSBOROUGH
General District and Special Rates
FINAL NOTICE
CORPORATION OF MUGSBOROUGH
General District and Special Rates
FINAL NOTICE
MR W. EASTON,
M.R. W. Easton,
I have to remind you that the amount due from you as under, in respect of the above Rates, has not been paid, and to request that you will forward the same within Fourteen Days from this date. You are hereby informed that after this notice no further call will be made, or intimation given, before legal proceedings are taken to enforce payment.
I need to remind you that the amount you owe for the above rates hasn’t been paid, and I request that you send it within fourteen days from today. Please be advised that after this notice, no further reminders will be sent before legal action is taken to collect the payment.
By order of the Council.
As directed by the Council.
JAMES LEAH.
Collector, No. 2 District.
James Leah.
Collector, District 2.
District Rate .......................... £- 13 11
Special Rate ........................... 10 2
________
£1 4 1
District Rate .......................... £13 11
Special Rate ........................... 10 2
________
£1 4 1
The second communication was dated from the office of the Assistant Overseer of the Poor. It was also a Final Notice and was worded in almost exactly the same way as the other, the principal difference being that it was “By order of the Overseers” instead of “the Council”. It demanded the sum of £1 1s 5-1/2d for Poor Rate within fourteen days, and threatened legal proceedings in default.
The second message came from the office of the Assistant Overseer of the Poor. It was also a Final Notice and was nearly identical in wording to the previous one, with the main difference being that it stated “By order of the Overseers” instead of “the Council.” It demanded the amount of £1 1s 5-1/2d for Poor Rate within fourteen days and warned of legal action if not paid.
Easton laid this down and began to read the third letter—
Easton put this down and started reading the third letter—
J. DIDLUM & CO LTD.
Complete House Furnishers
QUALITY STREET, MUGSBOROUGH
J. DIDLUM & CO LTD.
Complete House Furnishers
QUALITY STREET, MUGSBOROUGH
MR W. EASTON,
MR W. EASTON,
SIR: We have to remind you that three monthly payments of four shillings each (12/- in all) became due on the first of this month, and we must request you to let us have this amount BY RETURN OF POST.
SIR: We need to remind you that three monthly payments of four shillings each (12/- total) were due on the first of this month, and we must ask you to send us this amount BY RETURN OF POST.
Under the terms of your agreement you guaranteed that the money should be paid on the Saturday of every fourth week. To prevent unpleasantness, we must request you for the future to forward the full amount punctually upon that day.
Under the terms of your agreement, you guaranteed that the money would be paid on the Saturday of every fourth week. To avoid any issues, we need you to ensure the full amount is sent on that day moving forward.
Yours truly,
J. DIDLUM & CO. LTD.
Sincerely,
J. DIDLUM & CO. LTD.
He read these communications several times in silence and finally with an oath threw them down on the table.
He read these messages in silence several times and finally, with a curse, tossed them onto the table.
“How much do we still owe for the oilcloth and the furniture?” he asked.
“How much do we still owe for the oilcloth and the furniture?” he asked.
“I don’t know exactly. It was seven pound odd, and we’ve had the things about six months. We paid one pound down and three or four instalments. I’ll get the card if you like.”
"I’m not really sure. It was around seven pounds, and we’ve had them for about six months. We paid one pound upfront and then three or four installments. I can get the card if you want."
“No; never mind. Say we’ve paid one pound twelve; so we still owe about six pound.”
“No, never mind. Let’s say we’ve paid one pound twelve; so we still owe about six pounds.”
He added this amount to the list.
He added this amount to the list.
“I think it’s a great pity we ever had the things at all,” he said, peevishly. “It would have been better to have gone without until we could pay cash for them: but you would have your way, of course. Now we’ll have this bloody debt dragging on us for years, and before the dam stuff is paid for it’ll be worn out.”
“I think it's such a shame we ever got these things,” he said irritably. “It would have been better to wait until we could pay for them in cash, but of course, you had to get your way. Now we’ll have this annoying debt hanging over us for years, and by the time the stupid stuff is paid off, it’ll be broken down.”
The woman did not reply at once. She was bending down over the cradle arranging the coverings which the restless movements of the child had disordered. She was crying silently, unnoticed by her husband.
The woman didn't respond right away. She was leaning over the cradle, fixing the blankets that the child's restless movements had messed up. She was quietly crying, unnoticed by her husband.
For months past—in fact ever since the child was born—she had been existing without sufficient food. If Easton was unemployed they had to stint themselves so as to avoid getting further into debt than was absolutely necessary. When he was working they had to go short in order to pay what they owed; but of what there was Easton himself, without knowing it, always had the greater share. If he was at work she would pack into his dinner basket overnight the best there was in the house. When he was out of work she often pretended, as she gave him his meals, that she had had hers while he was out. And all the time the baby was draining her life away and her work was never done.
For months now—ever since the baby was born—she had been getting by on very little food. If Easton was out of work, they had to limit what they spent to avoid sinking deeper into debt. When he was employed, they had to cut back to pay off what they owed, but Easton always unknowingly got the larger portion of whatever they had. When he worked, she would pack the best food in his lunchbox the night before. When he was unemployed, she often pretended to have eaten while he was out when she served him meals. All the while, the baby was draining her strength, and her work never seemed to end.
She felt very weak and weary as she crouched there, crying furtively and trying not to let him see.
She felt really weak and tired as she crouched there, crying quietly and trying not to let him notice.
At last she said, without looking round:
At last she said, without turning around:
“You know quite well that you were just as much in favour of getting them as I was. If we hadn’t got the oilcloth there would have been illness in the house because of the way the wind used to come up between the floorboards. Even now of a windy day the oilcloth moves up and down.”
“You know very well that you were just as eager to get them as I was. If we hadn’t gotten the oilcloth, there would have been sickness in the house because of how the wind used to come up between the floorboards. Even now, on a windy day, the oilcloth moves up and down.”
“Well, I’m sure I don’t know,” said Easton, as he looked alternatively at the list of debts and the three letters. “I give you nearly every farthing I earn and I never interfere about anything, because I think it’s your part to attend to the house, but it seems to me you don’t manage things properly.”
“Well, I really don’t know,” Easton said, glancing back and forth between the list of debts and the three letters. “I give you almost every penny I make, and I never get involved in anything because I believe it’s your responsibility to take care of the house, but it seems to me you’re not managing things well.”
The woman suddenly burst into a passion of weeping, laying her head on the seat of the chair that was standing near the cradle.
The woman suddenly broke down in tears, resting her head on the seat of the chair next to the cradle.
Easton started up in surprise.
Easton reacted in surprise.
“Why, what’s the matter?” he said.
"What's wrong?" he said.
Then as he looked down upon the quivering form of the sobbing woman, he was ashamed. He knelt down by her, embracing her and apologizing, protesting that he had not meant to hurt her like that.
Then as he looked down at the trembling figure of the crying woman, he felt ashamed. He knelt beside her, holding her and apologizing, insisting that he hadn’t intended to hurt her like that.
“I always do the best I can with the money,” Ruth sobbed. “I never spend a farthing on myself, but you don’t seem to understand how hard it is. I don’t care nothing about having to go without things myself, but I can’t bear it when you speak to me like you do lately. You seem to blame me for everything. You usen’t to speak to me like that before I—before—Oh, I am so tired—I am so tired, I wish I could lie down somewhere and sleep and never wake up any more.”
“I always try my best with the money,” Ruth sobbed. “I never spend a penny on myself, but you don’t seem to get how hard it is. I don’t mind going without things for myself, but I can’t stand it when you talk to me the way you have been lately. You seem to blame me for everything. You didn’t used to talk to me like that before I—before—Oh, I am so tired—I am so tired, I wish I could just lie down somewhere and sleep and never wake up again.”
She turned away from him, half kneeling, half sitting on the floor, her arms folded on the seat of the chair, and her head resting upon them. She was crying in a heartbroken helpless way.
She turned away from him, half kneeling, half sitting on the floor, her arms folded on the seat of the chair, and her head resting on them. She was crying in a heartbroken, helpless way.
“I’m sorry I spoke to you like that,” said Easton, awkwardly. “I didn’t mean what I said. It’s all my fault. I leave things too much to you, and it’s more than you can be expected to manage. I’ll help you to think things out in future; only forgive me, I’m very sorry. I know you try your best.”
“I’m sorry I talked to you like that,” Easton said awkwardly. “I didn’t mean what I said. It’s all my fault. I rely on you too much, and it’s more than you should have to handle. I’ll help you figure things out in the future; just forgive me, I’m really sorry. I know you’re doing your best.”
She suffered him to draw her to him, laying her head on his shoulder as he kissed and fondled her, protesting that he would rather be poor and hungry with her than share riches with anyone else.
She allowed him to pull her close, resting her head on his shoulder as he kissed and caressed her, insisting that he would rather be broke and hungry with her than enjoy wealth with anyone else.
The child in the cradle—who had been twisting and turning restlessly all this time—now began to cry loudly. The mother took it from the cradle and began to hush and soothe it, walking about the room and rocking it in her arms. The child, however, continued to scream, so she sat down to nurse it: for a little while the infant refused to drink, struggling and kicking in its mother’s arms, then for a few minutes it was quiet, taking the milk in a half-hearted, fretful way. Then it began to scream and twist and struggle.
The baby in the crib—who had been tossing and turning restlessly all this time—now started to cry loudly. The mother took the baby out of the crib and began to comfort and soothe it, walking around the room and rocking it in her arms. However, the baby kept screaming, so she sat down to nurse it: for a little while, the infant resisted, wriggling and kicking in its mother's arms, then for a few minutes it was calm, drinking the milk in a half-hearted, fussy way. Then it began to scream and twist and struggle again.
They both looked at it in a helpless manner. Whatever could be the matter with it? It must be those teeth.
They both looked at it helplessly. What could be wrong with it? It has to be those teeth.
Then suddenly as they were soothing and patting him, the child vomited all over its own and its mother’s clothing a mass of undigested food. Mingled with the curdled milk were fragments of egg, little bits of bacon, bread and particles of potato.
Then suddenly, while they were calming and patting him, the child vomited all over his own clothes and his mother's a big mass of undigested food. Mixed in with the curdled milk were bits of egg, small pieces of bacon, bread, and chunks of potato.
Having rid his stomach of this unnatural burden, the unfortunate baby began to cry afresh, his face very pale, his lips colourless, and his eyes red-rimmed and running with water.
Having emptied his stomach of this unnatural burden, the poor baby started to cry again, his face very pale, his lips colorless, and his eyes red-rimmed and watery.
Easton walked about with him while Ruth cleaned up the mess and got ready some fresh clothing. They both agreed that it was the coming teeth that had upset the poor child’s digestion. It would be a good job when they were through.
Easton walked around with him while Ruth cleaned up the mess and got some fresh clothes ready. They both agreed that it was the upcoming teeth that had upset the poor kid’s digestion. It would be a relief once they were done.
This work finished, Easton, who was still convinced in his own mind that with the aid of a little common sense and judicious management their affairs might be arranged more satisfactorily, said:
This work finished, Easton, who still believed that with a bit of common sense and smart planning their situation could be handled better, said:
“We may as well make a list of all the things we must pay and buy tomorrow. The great thing is to think out exactly what you are going to do before you spend anything; that saves you from getting things you don’t really need and prevents you forgetting the things you MUST have. Now, first of all, the rent; two weeks, twelve shillings.”
“We should make a list of everything we need to pay for and buy tomorrow. The key is to plan exactly what you're going to do before spending any money; that way, you avoid buying things you don’t actually need and make sure you don’t forget the things you absolutely have to get. First on the list is the rent; two weeks, twelve shillings.”
He took a fresh piece of paper and wrote this item down.
He grabbed a new piece of paper and wrote this down.
“What else is there that we must pay or buy tomorrow?”
“What else do we need to pay for or get tomorrow?”
“Well, you know I promised the baker and the grocer that I would begin to pay them directly you got a job, and if I don’t keep my word they won’t let us have anything another time, so you’d better put down two shillings each for them.
“Well, you know I promised the baker and the grocer that I would start paying them directly. You got a job, and if I don’t keep my word, they won’t let us get anything another time, so you’d better put down two shillings each for them."
“I’ve got that,” said Easton.
"I've got this," said Easton.
“Two and seven for the butcher. We must pay that. I’m ashamed to pass the shop, because when I got the meat I promised to pay him the next week, and it’s nearly three weeks ago now.”
“Two pounds and seven shillings for the butcher. We have to pay that. I feel embarrassed walking past the shop because when I got the meat, I promised to pay him next week, and it’s been almost three weeks now.”
“I’ve put that down. What else?”
“I’ve written that down. What’s next?”
“A hundred of coal: one and six.”
“A hundredweight of coal: one shilling and sixpence.”
“Next?”
“What's next?”
“The instalment for the furniture and floor-cloth, twelve shillings.”
“The payment for the furniture and floor cloth is twelve shillings.”
“Next?”
"What's next?"
“We owe the milkman four weeks; we’d better pay one week on account; that’s one and two.”
“We owe the milkman for four weeks; we should probably pay him for one week now; that’s one and two.”
“Next?”
“What's next?”
“The greengrocer; one shilling on account.”
“The grocer; one shilling owed.”
“Anything else?”
“Anything else?”
“We shall want a piece of meat of some kind; we’ve had none for nearly three weeks. You’d better say one and six for that.”
“We need to get some kind of meat; we haven’t had any for almost three weeks. You should budget one and six for that.”
“That’s down.”
“That’s offline.”
“One and nine for bread; that’s one loaf a day.”
“One and nine for bread; that’s one loaf a day.”
“But I’ve got two shillings down for bread already,” said Easton.
“But I’ve already put down two shillings for bread,” said Easton.
“Yes, I know, dear, but that’s to go towards paying off what we owe, and what you have down for the grocer and milkman’s the same.”
“Yes, I know, dear, but that’s to go towards paying off what we owe, and what you have listed for the grocery store and milk delivery is the same.”
“Well, go on, for Christ’s sake, and let’s get it down,” said Easton, irritably.
“Well, go on, for God’s sake, and let’s get it done,” said Easton, annoyed.
“We can’t say less than three shillings for groceries.”
“We can’t sell groceries for less than three shillings.”
Easton looked carefully at his list. This time he felt sure that the item was already down; but finding he was mistaken he said nothing and added the amount.
Easton examined his list closely. This time he was confident that the item was already noted; however, realizing he was wrong, he said nothing and wrote down the amount.
“Well, I’ve got that. What else?”
“Well, I’ve got that. What else?”
“Milk, one and two.”
"Milk, one and two."
“Next?”
“What's next?”
“Vegetables, eightpence.”
"Veggies, eight pence."
“Yes.”
"Yeah."
“Paraffin oil and firewood, sixpence.”
“Paraffin oil and firewood, six pence.”
Again the financier scrutinized the list. He was positive that it was down already. However, he could not find it, so the sixpence was added to the column of figures.
Again the financier examined the list closely. He was sure it had been recorded already. However, he couldn't find it, so the sixpence was added to the column of numbers.
“Then there’s your boots; you can’t go about with them old things in this weather much longer, and they won’t stand mending again. You remember the old man said they were not worth it when you had that patch put on a few weeks ago.”
“Then there are your boots; you can’t keep wearing those old things in this weather for much longer, and they won’t hold up to another repair. You remember the old man said they weren’t worth it when you had that patch put on a few weeks ago.”
“Yes. I was thinking of buying a new pair tomorrow. My socks was wet through tonight. If it’s raining some morning when I’m going out and I have to work all day with wet feet I shall be laid up.”
“Yeah. I was thinking of getting a new pair tomorrow. My socks were soaked through tonight. If it’s raining one morning when I’m heading out and I have to work all day with wet feet, I’m going to be stuck.”
“At that second-hand shop down in High Street I saw when I was out this afternoon a very good pair just your size, for two shillings.”
“At that second-hand shop on High Street, I saw a really good pair that’s just your size for two shillings when I was out this afternoon.”
Easton did not reply at once. He did not much fancy wearing the cast-off boots of some stranger, who for all he knew might have suffered from some disease, but then remembering that his old ones were literally falling off his feet he realized that he had practically no choice.
Easton didn’t respond right away. He wasn’t keen on wearing the worn-out boots of a stranger, who, for all he knew, might have had some illness. But then, recalling that his old ones were literally falling apart, he understood he had basically no choice.
“If you’re quite sure they’ll fit you’d better get them. It’s better to do that than for me to catch cold and be laid up for God knows how long.”
“If you’re sure they’ll fit, you should go ahead and get them. It’s better to do that than for me to catch a cold and be out for who knows how long.”
So the two shillings were added to the list.
So the two shillings were added to the list.
“Is there anything else?”
“Anything else?”
“How much does it all come to now?” asked Ruth.
“How much does it all add up to now?” asked Ruth.
Easton added it all up. When he had finished he remained staring at the figures in consternation for a long time without speaking.
Easton totaled everything up. When he finished, he kept staring at the numbers in shock for a long time without saying a word.
“Jesus Christ!” he ejaculated at last.
“Jesus Christ!” he exclaimed at last.
“What’s it come to?” asked Ruth.
“What’s it come to?” Ruth asked.
“Forty-four and tenpence.”
“Forty-four and ten pence.”
“I knew we wouldn’t have enough,” said Ruth, wearily. “Now if you think I manage so badly, p’raps you can tell me which of these things we ought to leave out.”
“I knew we wouldn’t have enough,” Ruth said tiredly. “If you think I’m managing so poorly, maybe you can tell me which of these things we should leave out.”
“We’d be all right if it wasn’t for the debts,” said Easton, doggedly.
“We’d be fine if it weren’t for the debts,” Easton said, stubbornly.
“When you’re not working, we must either get into debt or starve.”
“When you’re not working, we either have to go into debt or go hungry.”
Easton made no answer.
Easton didn't respond.
“What’ll we do about the rates?” asked Ruth.
“What are we going to do about the rates?” asked Ruth.
“I’m sure I don’t know: there’s nothing left to pawn except my black coat and vest. You might get something on that.”
“I really don’t know: there’s nothing left to sell except my black coat and vest. You might be able to get something for that.”
“It’ll have to be paid somehow,” said Ruth, “or you’ll be taken off to jail for a month, the same as Mrs Newman’s husband was last winter.”
“It’ll need to be paid somehow,” said Ruth, “or you’ll end up in jail for a month, just like Mrs. Newman’s husband was last winter.”
“Well, you’d better take the coat and vest and see what you can get on ’em tomorrow.”
“Well, you should take the coat and vest and see what you can get for them tomorrow.”
“Yes,” said Ruth; “and there’s that brown silk dress of mine—you know, the one I wore when we was married—I might get something on that, because we won’t get enough on the coat and vest. I don’t like parting with the dress, although I never wear it; but we’ll be sure to be able to get it out again, won’t we?”
“Yes,” said Ruth; “and there’s that brown silk dress of mine—you know, the one I wore when we got married—I might be able to get something for that, because we won’t get enough for the coat and vest. I don’t want to part with the dress, even though I never wear it; but we’ll definitely be able to get it back again, right?”
“Of course,” said Easton.
"Sure," said Easton.
They remained silent for some time, Easton staring at the list of debts and the letters. She was wondering if he still thought she managed badly, and what he would do about it. She knew she had always done her best. At last she said, wistfully, trying to speak plainly for there seemed to be a lump in her throat: “And what about tomorrow? Would you like to spend the money yourself, or shall I manage as I’ve done before, or will you tell me what to do?”
They sat in silence for a while, Easton looking at the list of debts and the letters. She was thinking about whether he still believed she handled things poorly, and what his plans might be. She knew she had always tried her hardest. Finally, she said, with a touch of longing, trying to speak clearly since there felt like a lump in her throat: “So, what about tomorrow? Do you want to take care of the money yourself, or should I handle it as I have before, or will you guide me on what to do?”
“I don’t know, dear,” said Easton, sheepishly. “I think you’d better do as you think best.”
“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Easton said, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I think you should just go with what you think is best.”
“Oh, I’ll manage all right, dear, you’ll see,” replied Ruth, who seemed to think it a sort of honour to be allowed to starve herself and wear shabby clothes.
“Oh, I’ll be fine, dear, you’ll see,” replied Ruth, who seemed to think it was a kind of privilege to be allowed to starve herself and wear old clothes.
The baby, who had been for some time quietly sitting upon his mother’s lap, looking wonderingly at the fire—his teeth appeared to trouble him less since he got rid of the eggs and bacon and potatoes—now began to nod and doze, which Easton perceiving, suggested that the infant should not be allowed to go to sleep with an empty stomach, because it would probably wake up hungry in the middle of the night. He therefore woke him up as much as possible and mashed a little of the bread and toasted cheese with a little warm milk. Then taking the baby from Ruth he began to try to induce it to eat. As soon, however, as the child understood his object, it began to scream at the top of its voice, closing its lips firmly and turning its head rapidly from side to side every time the spoon approached its mouth. It made such a dreadful noise that Easton at last gave in. He began to walk about the room with it, and presently the child sobbed itself to sleep. After putting the baby into its cradle Ruth set about preparing Easton’s breakfast and packing it into his basket. This did not take very long, there being only bread and butter—or, to be more correct, margarine.
The baby, who had been quietly sitting on his mom’s lap, watching the fire with curiosity—his teeth seemed to bother him less since he stopped eating eggs, bacon, and potatoes—now started to nod off. Easton noticed this and suggested that the baby shouldn’t fall asleep on an empty stomach, as it would likely wake up hungry in the middle of the night. So, he did his best to wake the baby up and mashed some bread and toasted cheese with warm milk. Then, taking the baby from Ruth, he tried to get the little one to eat. However, as soon as the child realized what he was trying to do, it started screaming at the top of its lungs, clamping its lips tightly and turning its head from side to side every time the spoon came near. The noise was so terrible that Easton eventually gave up. He started walking around the room with the baby, and soon the child cried itself to sleep. After placing the baby in its cradle, Ruth got to work preparing Easton’s breakfast and packing it into his basket. It didn’t take long, since there was just bread and butter—or, to be more accurate, margarine.
Then she poured what tea was left in the tea-pot into a small saucepan and placed it on the top of the oven, but away from the fire, cut two more slices of bread and spread on them all the margarine that was left; then put them on a plate on the table, covering them with a saucer to prevent them getting hard and dry during the night. Near the plate she placed a clean cup and saucer and the milk and sugar.
Then she poured the remaining tea from the teapot into a small saucepan and set it on the stove, but away from the flame. She cut two more slices of bread and spread all the leftover margarine on them, then put them on a plate on the table, covering them with a saucer to keep them from getting hard and dry overnight. Next to the plate, she placed a clean cup and saucer along with the milk and sugar.
In the morning Easton would light the fire and warm up the tea in the saucepan so as to have a cup of tea before going out. If Ruth was awake and he was not pressed for time, he generally took a cup of tea to her in bed.
In the morning, Easton would start the fire and heat up the tea in the saucepan to have a cup of tea before heading out. If Ruth was awake and he wasn't in a hurry, he usually brought her a cup of tea in bed.
Nothing now remained to be done but to put some coal and wood ready in the fender so that there would be no unnecessary delay in the morning.
Nothing was left to do except get some coal and wood ready in the fender so there would be no unnecessary delays in the morning.
The baby was still sleeping and Ruth did not like to wake him up yet to dress him for the night. Easton was sitting by the fire smoking, so everything being done, Ruth sat down at the table and began sewing. Presently she spoke:
The baby was still sleeping, and Ruth didn't want to wake him up just yet to get him ready for bed. Easton was sitting by the fire, smoking, so since everything was taken care of, Ruth sat down at the table and started sewing. Soon, she spoke:
“I wish you’d let me try to let that back room upstairs: the woman next door has got hers let unfurnished to an elderly woman and her husband for two shillings a week. If we could get someone like that it would be better than having an empty room in the house.”
“I wish you’d let me try to rent out that back room upstairs: the woman next door has rented hers unfurnished to an elderly couple for two shillings a week. If we could find someone like that, it would be better than having an empty room in the house.”
“And we’d always have them messing about down here, cooking and washing and one thing and another,” objected Easton; “they’d be more trouble than they was worth.”
“And they'd always be down here messing around, cooking and washing and all sorts,” Easton complained; “they'd be more trouble than they're worth.”
“Well, we might try and furnish it. There’s Mrs Crass across the road has got two lodgers in one room. They pay her twelve shillings a week each; board, lodging and washing. That’s one pound four she has coming in reglar every week. If we could do the same we’d very soon be out of debt.”
“Well, we could try to furnish it. Mrs. Crass across the street has two lodgers in one room. They each pay her twelve shillings a week; that includes food, a place to stay, and laundry. That’s a steady one pound four coming in every week. If we could do the same, we’d be out of debt in no time.”
“What’s the good of talking? You’d never be able to do the work even if we had the furniture.”
“What’s the point of talking? You wouldn’t be able to do the work even if we had the furniture.”
“Oh, the work’s nothing,” replied Ruth, “and as for the furniture, we’ve got plenty of spare bedclothes, and we could easily manage without a washstand in our room for a bit, so the only thing we really want is a small bedstead and mattress; we could get them very cheap second-hand.”
“Oh, the work is no big deal,” replied Ruth, “and when it comes to the furniture, we have plenty of extra bedclothes, and we could easily do without a washstand in our room for a while. So the only thing we really need is a small bed frame and mattress; we could find them pretty cheap second-hand.”
“There ought to be a chest of drawers,” said Easton doubtfully.
“There should be a chest of drawers,” Easton said uncertainly.
“I don’t think so,” replied Ruth. “There’s a cupboard in the room and whoever took it would be sure to have a box.”
“I don’t think so,” replied Ruth. “There’s a cupboard in the room, and whoever took it would definitely have a box.”
“Well, if you think you can do the work I’ve no objection,” said Easton. “It’ll be a nuisance having a stranger in the way all the time, but I suppose we must do something of the sort or else we’ll have to give up the house and take a couple of rooms somewhere. That would be worse than having lodgers ourselves.
“Well, if you think you can handle the work, I don’t have a problem with that,” said Easton. “It’ll be annoying having a stranger around all the time, but I guess we have to do something like this, or else we’ll have to give up the house and find a couple of rooms somewhere. That would be worse than having lodgers ourselves."
“Let’s go and have a look at the room,” he added, getting up and taking the lamp from the wall.
“Let’s go check out the room,” he said, standing up and taking the lamp off the wall.
They had to go up two flights of stairs before arriving at the top landing, where there were two doors, one leading into the front room—their bedroom—and the other into the empty back room. These two doors were at right angles to each other. The wallpaper in the back room was damaged and soiled in several places.
They had to go up two flights of stairs before reaching the top landing, where there were two doors: one leading into the front room—their bedroom—and the other into the vacant back room. These two doors were at right angles to each other. The wallpaper in the back room was torn and dirty in several spots.
“There’s nearly a whole roll of this paper on the top of the cupboard,” said Ruth. “You could easily mend all those places. We could hang up a few almanacks on the walls; our washstand could go there by the window; a chair just there, and the bed along that wall behind the door. It’s only a small window, so I could easily manage to make a curtain out of something. I’m sure I could make the room look quite nice without spending hardly anything.”
“There’s almost a whole roll of this paper on top of the cupboard,” said Ruth. “You could easily fix all those spots. We could hang a few calendars on the walls; our washstand could go by the window; a chair right there, and the bed along that wall behind the door. It’s just a small window, so I could easily make a curtain out of something. I’m sure I could make the room look really nice without spending hardly anything.”
Easton reached down the roll of paper. It was the same pattern as that on the wall. The latter was a good deal faded, of course, but it would not matter much if the patches showed a little. They returned to the kitchen.
Easton picked up the roll of paper. It had the same pattern as the one on the wall. The wall's design was quite faded, but it wouldn't be a big deal if the patches were a little noticeable. They went back to the kitchen.
“Do you think you know anyone who would take it?” asked Ruth. Easton smoked thoughtfully.
“Do you think you know anyone who would take it?” Ruth asked. Easton smoked, deep in thought.
“No,” he said at length. “But I’ll mention it to one or two of the chaps on the job; they might know of someone.”
“No,” he said after a while. “But I’ll bring it up to a couple of the guys at work; they might know someone.”
“And I’ll get Mrs Crass to ask her lodgers: p’raps they might have a friend what would like to live near them.”
“And I’ll have Mrs. Crass ask her lodgers: maybe they know a friend who would like to live nearby.”
So it was settled; and as the fire was nearly out and it was getting late, they prepared to retire for the night. The baby was still sleeping so Easton lifted it, cradle and all, and carried it up the narrow staircase into the front bedroom, Ruth leading the way, carrying the lamp and some clothes for the child. So that the infant might be within easy reach of its mother during the night, two chairs were arranged close to her side of the bed and the cradle placed on them.
So it was decided; and since the fire was almost out and it was getting late, they got ready to turn in for the night. The baby was still sleeping, so Easton picked it up, cradle and all, and carried it up the narrow stairs to the front bedroom, with Ruth leading the way, holding the lamp and some clothes for the baby. To keep the infant within easy reach of its mother during the night, they set up two chairs close to her side of the bed and placed the cradle on them.
“Now we’ve forgot the clock,” said Easton, pausing. He was half undressed and had already removed his slippers.
“Now we've forgotten the time,” said Easton, stopping for a moment. He was half undressed and had already taken off his slippers.
“I’ll slip down and get it,” said Ruth.
“I'll go down and get it,” said Ruth.
“Never mind, I’ll go,” said Easton, beginning to put his slippers on again.
“Never mind, I’ll go,” Easton said, starting to put his slippers back on.
“No, you get into bed. I’ve not started undressing yet. I’ll get it,” replied Ruth who was already on her way down.
“No, you get into bed. I haven't started to undress yet. I’ll take care of it,” replied Ruth, who was already heading down.
“I don’t know as it was worth the trouble of going down,” said Ruth when she returned with the clock. “It stopped three or four times today.”
“I don’t know if it was worth the trouble of going down,” Ruth said as she came back with the clock. “It stopped three or four times today.”
“Well, I hope it don’t stop in the night,” Easton said. “It would be a bit of all right not knowing what time it was in the morning. I suppose the next thing will be that we’ll have to buy a new clock.”
“Well, I hope it doesn't stop at night,” Easton said. “It would be pretty annoying not knowing what time it is in the morning. I guess the next thing we’ll have to do is buy a new clock.”
He woke several times during the night and struck a match to see if it was yet time to get up. At half past two the clock was still going and he again fell asleep. The next time he work up the ticking had ceased. He wondered what time it was? It was still very dark, but that was nothing to go by, because it was always dark at six now. He was wide awake: it must be nearly time to get up. It would never do to be late; he might get the sack.
He woke up several times during the night and struck a match to check if it was time to get up yet. At 2:30, the clock was still ticking, so he fell back asleep. The next time he woke up, the ticking had stopped. He wondered what time it was. It was still very dark, but that didn't help since it was always dark at six these days. He was wide awake; it had to be almost time to get up. He couldn't afford to be late; he might get fired.
He got up and dressed himself. Ruth was asleep, so he crept quietly downstairs, lit the fire and heated the tea. When it was ready he went softly upstairs again. Ruth was still sleeping, so he decided not to disturb her. Returning to the kitchen, he poured out and drank a cup of tea, put on his boots, overcoat and hat and taking his basket went out of the house.
He got up and got dressed. Ruth was asleep, so he quietly tiptoed downstairs, started the fire, and warmed up the tea. Once it was ready, he softly went back upstairs. Ruth was still sleeping, so he chose not to wake her. Going back to the kitchen, he poured himself a cup of tea and drank it, then put on his boots, overcoat, and hat, grabbed his basket, and stepped out of the house.
The rain was still falling and it was very cold and dark. There was no one else in the street. Easton shivered as he walked along wondering what time it could be. He remembered there was a clock over the front of a jeweller’s shop a little way down the main road. When he arrived at this place he found that the clock being so high up he could not see the figures on the face distinctly, because it was still very dark. He stood staring for a few minutes vainly trying to see what time it was when suddenly the light of a bull’s-eye lantern was flashed into his eyes.
The rain was still pouring, and it was really cold and dark. There was no one else on the street. Easton shivered as he walked along, wondering what time it could be. He remembered there was a clock above the entrance of a jewelry shop a bit further down the main road. When he got there, he found that the clock was too high up for him to see the numbers clearly because it was still very dark. He stood staring for a few minutes, trying in vain to figure out the time when suddenly, the light from a bull’s-eye lantern was thrown into his eyes.
“You’re about very early,” said a voice, the owner of which Easton could not see. The light blinded him.
“You're about to be very early,” said a voice that Easton couldn’t see. The light was blinding him.
“What time is it?” said Easton. “I’ve got to get to work at seven and our clock stopped during the night.”
“What time is it?” Easton asked. “I need to get to work by seven, and our clock stopped overnight.”
“Where are you working?”
"Where do you work?"
“At ‘The Cave’ in Elmore Road. You know, near the old toll gate.”
“At ‘The Cave’ on Elmore Road. You know, close to the old toll gate.”
“What are you doing there and who are you working for?” the policeman demanded.
“What are you doing there and who are you working for?” the police officer demanded.
Easton explained.
Easton clarified.
“Well,” said the constable, “it’s very strange that you should be wandering about at this hour. It’s only about three-quarters of an hour’s walk from here to Elmore Road. You say you’ve got to get there at seven, and it’s only a quarter to four now. Where do you live? What’s your name?” Easton gave his name and address and began repeating the story about the clock having stopped.
“Well,” said the constable, “it's really odd that you're out and about at this time. It's just about a 45-minute walk from here to Elmore Road. You say you need to be there by seven, and it's only a quarter to four right now. Where do you live? What's your name?” Easton provided his name and address and started telling the story about the clock being stopped.
“What you say may be all right or it may not,” interrupted the policeman. “I’m not sure but that I ought to take you to the station. All I know about you is that I find you loitering outside this shop. What have you got in that basket?”
“What you’re saying might be true or it might not,” the policeman interrupted. “I’m not sure if I should take you to the station. All I know about you is that I see you hanging around outside this shop. What do you have in that basket?”
“Only my breakfast,” Easton said, opening the basket and displaying its contents.
“Just my breakfast,” Easton said, opening the basket and showing what was inside.
“I’m inclined to believe what you say,” said the policeman, after a pause. “But to make quite sure I’ll go home with you. It’s on my beat, and I don’t want to run you in if you’re what you say you are, but I should advise you to buy a decent clock, or you’ll be getting yourself into trouble.”
“I’m inclined to believe you,” said the policeman, after a pause. “But just to be sure, I’ll come home with you. It’s on my route, and I don’t want to arrest you if you’re telling the truth, but I suggest you get a decent clock, or you might get yourself into trouble.”
When they arrived at the house Easton opened the door, and after making some entries in his note-book the officer went away, much to the relief of Easton, who went upstairs, set the hands of the clock right and started it going again. He then removed his overcoat and lay down on the bed in his clothes, covering himself with the quilt. After a while he fell asleep, and when he awoke the clock was still ticking.
When they got to the house, Easton opened the door, and after jotting down some notes, the officer left, much to Easton's relief. He went upstairs, fixed the clock, and got it going again. Then he took off his overcoat and lay down on the bed in his clothes, covering himself with the quilt. After a bit, he fell asleep, and when he woke up, the clock was still ticking.
The time was exactly seven o’clock.
It was exactly 7:00.
Chapter 4
The Placard
Frank Owen was the son of a journeyman carpenter who had died of consumption when the boy was only five years old. After that his mother earned a scanty living as a needle-woman. When Frank was thirteen he went to work for a master decorator who was a man of a type that has now almost disappeared, being not merely an employer but a craftsman of a high order.
Frank Owen was the son of a skilled carpenter who had died of tuberculosis when Frank was just five years old. After that, his mother barely made enough money working as a seamstress. When Frank turned thirteen, he started working for a master decorator who was the kind of person that’s almost gone now; he was not just a boss but also a highly skilled craftsman.
He was an old man when Frank Owen went to work for him. At one time he had had a good business in the town, and used to boast that he had always done good work, had found pleasure in doing it and had been well paid for it. But of late years the number of his customers had dwindled considerably, for there had arisen a new generation which cared nothing about craftsmanship or art, and everything for cheapness and profit. From this man and by laborious study and practice in his spare time, aided by a certain measure of natural ability, the boy acquired a knowledge of decorative painting and design, and graining and signwriting.
He was an old man when Frank Owen started working for him. At one point, he had a thriving business in town and would proudly say that he always produced quality work, enjoyed doing it, and was well compensated. However, in recent years, his customer base had shrunk significantly, as a new generation emerged that valued cheapness and profit over craftsmanship or art. From this man, and through hard work and practice in his free time, along with a bit of natural talent, the boy learned about decorative painting and design, graining, and signwriting.
Frank’s mother died when he was twenty-four, and a year afterwards he married the daughter of a fellow workman. In those days trade was fairly good and although there was not much demand for the more artistic kinds of work, still the fact that he was capable of doing them, if required, made it comparatively easy for him to obtain employment. Owen and his wife were very happy. They had one child—a boy—and for some years all went well. But gradually this state of things altered: broadly speaking, the change came slowly and imperceptibly, although there were occasional sudden fluctuations.
Frank’s mother passed away when he was twenty-four, and a year later he married the daughter of a coworker. Back then, business was doing fairly well, and even though there wasn’t much demand for more artistic types of work, the fact that he could do them when needed made it relatively easy for him to find jobs. Owen and his wife were very happy. They had one child—a boy—and for several years everything was fine. But over time, this situation changed: generally speaking, the change was slow and barely noticeable, although there were occasional sudden ups and downs.
Even in summer he could not always find work: and in winter it was almost impossible to get a job of any sort. At last, about twelve months before the date that this story opens, he determined to leave his wife and child at home and go to try his fortune in London. When he got employment he would send for them.
Even in the summer, he couldn't always find work, and in the winter, it was nearly impossible to get any kind of job. Finally, about a year before this story begins, he decided to leave his wife and child at home and head to London to seek his fortune. Once he found a job, he would send for them.
It was a vain hope. He found London, if anything, worse than his native town. Wherever he went he was confronted with the legend: “No hands wanted”. He walked the streets day after day; pawned or sold all his clothes save those he stood in, and stayed in London for six months, sometimes starving and only occasionally obtaining a few days or weeks work.
It was a pointless hope. He discovered London to be, if anything, worse than his hometown. No matter where he went, he was met with the sign: “No hands wanted.” He walked the streets day after day; pawned or sold all his clothes except for what he was wearing, and stayed in London for six months, sometimes starving and only occasionally finding a few days or weeks of work.
At the end of that time he was forced to give in. The privations he had endured, the strain on his mind and the foul atmosphere of the city combined to defeat him. Symptoms of the disease that had killed his father began to manifest themselves, and yielding to the repeated entreaties of his wife he returned to his native town, the shadow of his former self.
At the end of that time, he had to give in. The hardships he had gone through, the pressure on his mind, and the toxic environment of the city all took their toll on him. Symptoms of the disease that had killed his father began to show, and after his wife urged him repeatedly, he returned to his hometown, a shadow of his former self.
That was six months ago, and since then he had worked for Rushton & Co. Occasionally when they had no work in hand, he was “stood off” until something came in.
That was six months ago, and since then he had been working for Rushton & Co. Sometimes, when there was no work available, he was “let go” until something came up.
Ever since his return from London, Owen had been gradually abandoning himself to hopelessness. Every day he felt that the disease he suffered from was obtaining a stronger grip on him. The doctor told him to “take plenty of nourishing food”, and prescribed costly medicines which Owen had not the money to buy.
Ever since he got back from London, Owen had been slowly giving in to despair. Every day, he felt like the illness he was dealing with was taking a stronger hold on him. The doctor advised him to “eat plenty of healthy food” and prescribed expensive medications that Owen couldn’t afford.
Then there was his wife. Naturally delicate, she needed many things that he was unable to procure for her. And the boy—what hope was there for him? Often as Owen moodily thought of their circumstances and prospects he told himself that it would be far better if they could all three die now, together.
Then there was his wife. Naturally fragile, she needed many things that he couldn't provide for her. And the boy—what hope was there for him? Often, as Owen gloomily reflected on their situation and future, he told himself that it would be much better if they could all three die now, together.
He was tired of suffering himself, tired of impotently watching the sufferings of his wife, and appalled at the thought of what was in store for the child.
He was exhausted from his own suffering, fed up with helplessly watching his wife's pain, and horrified at what awaited the child.
Of this nature were his reflections as he walked homewards on the evening of the day when old Linden was dismissed. There was no reason to believe or hope that the existing state of things would be altered for a long time to come.
Of this nature were his thoughts as he walked home on the evening when old Linden was let go. There was no reason to believe or hope that the current situation would change anytime soon.
Thousands of people like himself dragged out a wretched existence on the very verge of starvation, and for the greater number of people life was one long struggle against poverty. Yet practically none of these people knew or even troubled themselves to inquire why they were in that condition; and for anyone else to try to explain to them was a ridiculous waste of time, for they did not want to know.
Thousands of people like him were living a miserable life on the edge of starvation, and for most of them, life was just a constant fight against poverty. Yet almost none of these people understood or even bothered to ask why they were in such a situation; and trying to explain it to them was a pointless effort, as they didn’t want to know.
The remedy was so simple, the evil so great and so glaringly evident that the only possible explanation of its continued existence was that the majority of his fellow workers were devoid of the power of reasoning. If these people were not mentally deficient they would of their own accord have swept this silly system away long ago. It would not have been necessary for anyone to teach them that it was wrong.
The solution was so straightforward, the problem so significant and so obviously clear that the only reason for its ongoing existence was that most of his coworkers lacked the ability to think critically. If these people weren't lacking in intelligence, they would have gotten rid of this ridiculous system on their own a long time ago. Nobody would have needed to show them that it was wrong.
Why, even those who were successful or wealthy could not be sure that they would not eventually die of want. In every workhouse might be found people who had at one time occupied good positions; and their downfall was not in every case their own fault.
Why, even those who were successful or wealthy could not be sure they wouldn't eventually die from lack. In every workhouse, you could find people who had once held good positions; and their downfall wasn’t always their own fault.
No matter how prosperous a man might be, he could not be certain that his children would never want for bread. There were thousands living in misery on starvation wages whose parents had been wealthy people.
No matter how wealthy a man might be, he couldn't be sure that his children would never go hungry. There were thousands suffering in poverty on meager wages whose parents had once been affluent people.
As Owen strode rapidly along, his mind filled with these thoughts, he was almost unconscious of the fact that he was wet through to the skin. He was without an overcoat, it was pawned in London, and he had not yet been able to redeem it. His boots were leaky and sodden with mud and rain.
As Owen walked quickly, lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed that he was soaked to the skin. He didn’t have an overcoat; it was pawned in London, and he hadn’t been able to get it back yet. His boots were leaky and soaked with mud and rain.
He was nearly home now. At the corner of the street in which he lived there was a newsagent’s shop and on a board outside the door was displayed a placard:
He was almost home now. At the corner of the street where he lived, there was a newsagent's shop, and on a board outside the door was a sign:
TERRIBLE DOMESTIC TRAGEDY
DOUBLE MURDER AND SUICIDE
He went in to buy a copy of the paper. He was a frequent customer here, and as he entered the shopkeeper greeted him by name.
He went in to buy a copy of the newspaper. He was a regular customer here, and as he walked in, the shopkeeper greeted him by name.
“Dreadful weather,” he remarked as he handed Owen the paper. “It makes things pretty bad in your line, I suppose?”
“Terrible weather,” he said as he handed Owen the paper. “I guess it makes things pretty tough in your job, right?”
“Yes,” responded Owen, “there’s a lot of men idle, but fortunately I happen to be working inside.”
“Yes,” replied Owen, “there are a lot of guys sitting around, but luckily I’m working inside.”
“You’re one of the lucky ones, then,” said the other. “You know, there’ll be a job here for some of ’em as soon as the weather gets a little better. All the outside of this block is going to be done up. That’s a pretty big job, isn’t it?”
“You’re one of the lucky ones, then,” said the other. “You know, there’ll be a job here for some of them as soon as the weather gets a little better. All the outside of this block is going to be fixed up. That’s a pretty big job, right?”
“Yes,” returned Owen. “Who’s going to do it?”
“Yes,” Owen replied. “Who’s going to take care of it?”
“Makehaste and Sloggit. You know, they’ve got a place over at Windley.”
“Makehaste and Sloggit. You know, they have a spot over at Windley.”
“Yes, I know the firm,” said Owen, grimly. He had worked for them once or twice himself.
“Yeah, I know the company,” Owen said, looking serious. He had worked for them a few times himself.
“The foreman was in here today,” the shopkeeper went on. “He said they’re going to make a start Monday morning if it’s fine.”
“The foreman was here today,” the shopkeeper continued. “He said they’re going to get started Monday morning if the weather is good.”
“Well, I hope it will be,” said Owen, “because things are very quiet just now.”
"Well, I hope so," said Owen, "because things are pretty quiet right now."
Wishing the other “Good night”, Owen again proceeded homewards.
Wishing the other a “Good night,” Owen made his way home again.
Half-way down the street he paused irresolutely: he was thinking of the news he had just heard and of Jack Linden.
Halfway down the street, he stopped uncertainly: he was thinking about the news he had just heard and Jack Linden.
As soon as it became generally known that this work was about to be started there was sure to be a rush for it, and it would be a case of first come, first served. If he saw Jack tonight the old man might be in time to secure a job.
As soon as everyone found out that this project was about to kick off, there was definitely going to be a rush for it, and it would be a matter of first come, first served. If he saw Jack tonight, the old man might make it in time to grab a job.
Owen hesitated: he was wet through: it was a long way to Linden’s place, nearly twenty minutes’ walk. Still, he would like to let him know, because unless he was one of the first to apply, Linden would not stand such a good chance as a younger man. Owen said to himself that if he walked very fast there was not much risk of catching cold. Standing about in wet clothes might be dangerous, but so long as one kept moving it was all right.
Owen hesitated; he was completely soaked. It was a long walk to Linden's place, almost twenty minutes. Still, he wanted to let him know because unless he was one of the first to apply, Linden wouldn't have as good a chance as a younger guy. Owen told himself that if he walked really fast, there wasn’t much chance of getting a cold. Hanging around in wet clothes could be risky, but as long as he kept moving, it would be fine.
He turned back and set off in the direction of Linden’s house: although he was but a few yards from his own home, he decided not to go in because his wife would be sure to try to persuade him not to go out again.
He turned around and headed towards Linden’s house: even though he was just a few yards from his own home, he chose not to go inside because his wife would definitely try to convince him not to go out again.
As he hurried along he presently noticed a small dark object on the doorstep of an untenanted house. He stopped to examine it more closely and perceived that it was a small black kitten. The tiny creature came towards him and began walking about his feet, looking into his face and crying piteously. He stooped down and stroked it, shuddering as his hands came in contact with its emaciated body. Its fur was saturated with rain and every joint of its backbone was distinctly perceptible to the touch. As he caressed it, the starving creature mewed pathetically.
As he rushed by, he soon spotted a small dark object on the doorstep of an empty house. He paused to take a closer look and realized it was a little black kitten. The tiny creature approached him, weaving around his feet, looking up at him and meowing sadly. He bent down and stroked it, shuddering as he felt its bony body. Its fur was soaked with rain, and he could feel every joint of its spine under his touch. As he petted it, the starving kitten mewed pitifully.
Owen decided to take it home to the boy, and as he picked it up and put it inside his coat the little outcast began to purr.
Owen decided to take it home to the boy, and as he picked it up and tucked it inside his coat, the little stray began to purr.
This incident served to turn his thoughts into another channel. If, as so many people pretended to believe, there was an infinitely loving God, how was it that this helpless creature that He had made was condemned to suffer? It had never done any harm, and was in no sense responsible for the fact that it existed. Was God unaware of the miseries of His creatures? If so, then He was not all-knowing. Was God aware of their sufferings, but unable to help them? Then He was not all-powerful. Had He the power but not the will to make His creatures happy? Then He was not good. No; it was impossible to believe in the existence of an individual, infinite God. In fact, no one did so believe; and least of all those who pretended for various reasons to be the disciples and followers of Christ. The anti-Christs who went about singing hymns, making long prayers and crying Lord, Lord, but never doing the things which He said, who were known by their words to be unbelievers and infidels, unfaithful to the Master they pretended to serve, their lives being passed in deliberate and systematic disregard of His teachings and Commandments. It was not necessary to call in the evidence of science, or to refer to the supposed inconsistencies, impossibilities, contradictions and absurdities contained in the Bible, in order to prove there was no truth in the Christian religion. All that was necessary was to look at the conduct of the individuals who were its votaries.
This incident changed his thinking completely. If, as so many people claimed to believe, there is an infinitely loving God, then why was this helpless creature He made forced to suffer? It had never done anything wrong and wasn't responsible for its own existence. Was God unaware of the suffering of His creations? If that’s the case, then He isn't all-knowing. If He knew about their suffering but couldn't help, then He isn't all-powerful. If He had the power but chose not to make His creations happy, then He isn't good. No; it’s impossible to believe in a personal, infinite God. In reality, no one really believes that; especially not those who pretend for various reasons to be followers of Christ. The anti-Christs who sing hymns, make long prayers, and shout "Lord, Lord," but never actually do what He said, reveal their unbelief. They are unfaithful to the Master they claim to serve, living lives that ignore His teachings and commandments. It isn't necessary to bring in scientific evidence or point out the supposed inconsistencies, impossibilities, contradictions, and absurdities in the Bible to prove that there is no truth in Christianity. All you need to do is observe the behavior of the individuals who follow it.
Chapter 5
The Clock-case
Jack Linden lived in a small cottage in Windley. He had occupied this house ever since his marriage, over thirty years ago.
Jack Linden lived in a little cottage in Windley. He had been in this house since his marriage, more than thirty years ago.
His home and garden were his hobby: he was always doing something; painting, whitewashing, papering and so forth. The result was that although the house itself was not of much account he had managed to get it into very good order, and as a result it was very clean and comfortable.
His home and garden were his passion: he was always busy doing something; painting, whitewashing, wallpapering, and so on. The result was that although the house itself wasn’t anything special, he had managed to get it in great shape, making it very clean and comfortable.
Another result of his industry was that—seeing the improved appearance of the place—the landlord had on two occasions raised the rent. When Linden first took the house the rent was six shillings a week. Five years after, it was raised to seven shillings, and after the lapse of another five years it had been increased to eight shillings.
Another result of his hard work was that—seeing the better look of the place—the landlord had raised the rent twice. When Linden first rented the house, the rent was six shillings a week. Five years later, it went up to seven shillings, and after another five years, it increased to eight shillings.
During the thirty years of his tenancy he had paid altogether nearly six hundred pounds in rent, more than double the amount of the present value of the house. Jack did not complain of this—in fact he was very well satisfied. He often said that Mr Sweater was a very good landlord, because on several occasions when, being out of work, he had been a few weeks behind with his rent the agent acting for the benevolent Mr Sweater had allowed Linden to pay off the arrears by instalments. As old Jack was in the habit of remarking, many a landlord would have sold up their furniture and turned them into the street.
During the thirty years he lived there, he paid nearly six hundred pounds in rent, which was more than double what the house is worth today. Jack didn’t complain about this—in fact, he was quite happy. He often said that Mr. Sweater was a great landlord because on several occasions when he was out of work and fell a few weeks behind on rent, the agent for the kind Mr. Sweater let him pay off the back rent in installments. As old Jack liked to point out, many landlords would have sold their furniture and kicked them out onto the street.
As the reader is already aware, Linden’s household consisted of his wife, his two grandchildren and his daughter-in-law, the widow and children of his youngest son, a reservist, who died while serving in the South African War. This man had been a plasterer, and just before the war he was working for Rushton & Co.
As the reader already knows, Linden's household included his wife, his two grandchildren, and his daughter-in-law, the widow and children of his youngest son, a reservist who died while serving in the South African War. This man had been a plasterer, and right before the war, he was working for Rushton & Co.
They had just finished their tea when Owen knocked at their front door. The young woman went to see who was there.
They had just finished their tea when Owen knocked on their front door. The young woman went to see who it was.
“Is Mr Linden in?”
"Is Mr. Linden here?"
“Yes. Who is it?”
“Yeah. Who’s there?”
“My name’s Owen.”
"I'm Owen."
Old Jack, however, had already recognized Owen’s voice, and came to the door, wondering what he wanted.
Old Jack, however, had already recognized Owen’s voice and came to the door, curious about what he wanted.
“As I was going home I heard that Makehaste and Sloggit are going to start a large job on Monday, so I thought I’d run over and let you know.”
“As I was heading home, I heard that Makehaste and Sloggit are starting a big job on Monday, so I thought I’d swing by and let you know.”
“Are they?” said Linden. “I’ll go and see them in the morning. But I’m afraid I won’t stand much chance, because a lot of their regular hands are waiting for a job; but I’ll go and see ’em all the same.”
“Are they?” Linden said. “I’ll go check on them in the morning. But I'm worried I won’t have much luck since a lot of their regular workers are looking for a job; still, I’ll go and see them anyway.”
“Well, you know, it’s a big job. All the outside of that block at the corner of Kerk Street and Lord Street. They’re almost sure to want a few extra hands.”
“Well, you know, it’s a big job. All the outside of that block at the corner of Kerk Street and Lord Street. They’re almost definitely going to want a few extra hands.”
“Yes, there’s something in that,” said Linden. “Anyhow, I’m much obliged to you for letting me know; but come in out of the rain. You must be wet through.”
“Yes, that makes sense,” said Linden. “Anyway, I really appreciate you telling me; but come in out of the rain. You must be soaked.”
“No; I won’t stay,” responded Owen. “I don’t want to stand about any longer than I can help in these wet clothes.”
“No; I won’t stay,” Owen replied. “I don’t want to be stuck in these wet clothes any longer than necessary.”
“But it won’t take you a minit to drink a cup of tea,” Linden insisted. “I won’t ask you to stop longer than that.”
“But it won't take you a minute to drink a cup of tea,” Linden insisted. “I won’t ask you to stop longer than that.”
Owen entered; the old man closed the door and led the way into the kitchen. At one side of the fire, Linden’s wife, a frail-looking old lady with white hair, was seated in a large armchair, knitting. Linden sat down in a similar chair on the other side. The two grandchildren, a boy and girl about seven and eight years, respectively, were still seated at the table.
Owen walked in; the old man shut the door and guided him into the kitchen. On one side of the fireplace, Linden’s wife, a fragile-looking elderly woman with white hair, was sitting in a big armchair, knitting. Linden took a seat in a similar chair on the opposite side. The two grandkids, a boy and a girl around seven and eight years old, were still sitting at the table.
Standing by the side of the dresser at one end of the room was a treadle sewing machine, and on one end of the dresser was a a pile of sewing: ladies’ blouses in process of making. This was another instance of the goodness of Mr Sweater, from whom Linden’s daughter-in-law obtained the work. It was not much, because she was only able to do it in her spare time, but then, as she often remarked, every little helped.
Standing beside the dresser at one end of the room was a treadle sewing machine, and on one end of the dresser was a pile of sewing: ladies’ blouses in progress. This was another example of Mr. Sweater's kindness, from whom Linden’s daughter-in-law got the work. It wasn’t much since she could only do it in her free time, but as she often said, every little bit helped.
The floor was covered with linoleum: there were a number of framed pictures on the walls, and on the high mantelshelf were a number of brightly polished tins and copper utensils. The room had that indescribably homelike, cosy air that is found only in those houses in which the inhabitants have dwelt for a very long time.
The floor was covered with linoleum; there were several framed pictures on the walls, and on the high mantelpiece were a variety of shiny tins and copper utensils. The room had that uniquely cozy, homey feel that’s found only in homes where the residents have lived for a long time.
The younger woman was already pouring out a cup of tea.
The younger woman was already pouring a cup of tea.
Old Mrs Linden, who had never seen Owen before, although she had heard of him, belonged to the Church of England and was intensely religious. She looked curiously at the Atheist as he entered the room. He had taken off his hat and she was surprised to find that he was not repulsive to look at, rather the contrary. But then she remembered that Satan often appears as an angel of light. Appearances are deceitful. She wished that John had not asked him into the house and hoped that no evil consequences would follow. As she looked at him, she was horrified to perceive a small black head with a pair of glistening green eyes peeping out of the breast of his coat, and immediately afterwards the kitten, catching sight of the cups and saucers on the table, began to mew frantically and scrambled suddenly out of its shelter, inflicting a severe scratch on Owen’s restraining hands as it jumped to the floor.
Old Mrs. Linden, who had never met Owen before but had heard about him, was a devout member of the Church of England. She looked at the Atheist with curiosity as he entered the room. He had taken off his hat, and she was surprised to see that he wasn’t unpleasant to look at; in fact, he was quite the opposite. But then she remembered that Satan often presents himself as an angel of light. Appearances can be deceiving. She wished John hadn’t invited him into the house and hoped no bad consequences would come of it. As she watched him, she was horrified to notice a small black head with a pair of shiny green eyes peeking out from the front of his coat, and just after that, the kitten, spotting the cups and saucers on the table, started mewing loudly and suddenly scrambled out of its hiding place, scratching Owen’s hands as it jumped to the floor.
It clambered up the tablecloth and began rushing all over the table, darting madly from one plate to another, seeking something to eat.
It climbed up the tablecloth and started rushing all over the table, darting wildly from one plate to another, looking for something to eat.
The children screamed with delight. Their grandmother was filled with a feeling of superstitious alarm. Linden and the young woman stood staring with astonishment at the unexpected visitor.
The kids screamed with excitement. Their grandmother felt a wave of uneasy superstition. Linden and the young woman stood there, staring in shock at the surprise guest.
Before the kitten had time to do any damage, Owen caught hold of it and, despite its struggles, lifted it off the table.
Before the kitten could cause any trouble, Owen grabbed it and, despite its squirming, lifted it off the table.
“I found it in the street as I was coming along,” he said. “It seems to be starving.”
“I found it in the street while I was walking,” he said. “It looks like it’s starving.”
“Poor little thing. I’ll give it something,” exclaimed the young woman.
“Poor little thing. I’ll give it something,” said the young woman.
She put some milk and bread into a saucer for it and the kitten ate ravenously, almost upsetting the saucer in its eagerness, much to the amusement of the two children, who stood by watching it admiringly.
She poured some milk and placed bread in a saucer for it, and the kitten ate hungrily, almost knocking the saucer over in its excitement, much to the delight of the two kids who stood by, watching it with admiration.
Their mother now handed Owen a cup of tea. Linden insisted on his sitting down and then began to talk about Hunter.
Their mom now handed Owen a cup of tea. Linden insisted that he sit down and then started talking about Hunter.
“You know I had to spend some time on them doors to make ’em look anything at all; but it wasn’t the time I took, or even the smoking what made ’im go on like that. He knows very well the time it takes. The real reason is that he thinks I was gettin’ too much money. Work is done so rough nowadays that chaps like Sawkins is good enough for most of it. Hunter shoved me off just because I was getting the top money, and you’ll see I won’t be the only one.”
"You know I had to spend some time on those doors to make them look decent at all; but it wasn’t the time I spent, or even the smoking that made him act like that. He knows perfectly well how long it takes. The real reason is that he thinks I was getting paid too much. Work is done so poorly these days that guys like Sawkins are good enough for most of it. Hunter pushed me out just because I was making the top pay, and you’ll see I won’t be the only one."
“I’m afraid you’re right,” returned Owen. “Did you see Rushton when you went for your money?”
“I’m afraid you’re right,” Owen replied. “Did you see Rushton when you went to get your money?”
“Yes,” replied Linden. “I hurried up as fast as I could, but Hunter was there first. He passed me on his bike before I got half-way, so I suppose he told his tale before I came. Anyway, when I started to speak to Mr Rushton he wouldn’t listen. Said he couldn’t interfere between Mr Hunter and the men.”
“Yes,” replied Linden. “I rushed as fast as I could, but Hunter got there first. He zoomed past me on his bike before I even made it halfway, so I guess he shared his story before I arrived. Anyway, when I tried talking to Mr. Rushton, he wouldn’t listen. He said he couldn’t get involved in the situation between Mr. Hunter and the guys.”
“Ah! They’re a bad lot, them two,” said the old woman, shaking her head sagely. “But it’ll all come ’ome to ’em, you’ll see. They’ll never prosper. The Lord will punish them.”
“Ah! Those two are trouble,” said the old woman, shaking her head wisely. “But it’ll all catch up to them, you’ll see. They’ll never succeed. God will take care of them.”
Owen did not feel very confident of that. Most of the people he knew who had prospered were very similar in character to the two worthies in question. However, he did not want to argue with this poor old woman.
Owen didn't feel very confident about that. Most of the people he knew who had succeeded were quite similar in character to the two individuals in question. However, he didn't want to argue with this poor old woman.
“When Tom was called up to go to the war,” said the young woman, bitterly, “Mr Rushton shook hands with him and promised to give him a job when he came back. But now that poor Tom’s gone and they know that me and the children’s got no one to look to but Father, they do THIS.”
“When Tom was drafted to go to war,” the young woman said bitterly, “Mr. Rushton shook his hand and promised to give him a job when he returned. But now that poor Tom’s gone and they know that me and the kids have no one to rely on but Father, they do THIS.”
Although at the mention of her dead son’s name old Mrs Linden was evidently distressed, she was still mindful of the Atheist’s presence, and hastened to rebuke her daughter-in-law.
Although old Mrs. Linden was clearly upset at the mention of her deceased son's name, she was still aware of the Atheist's presence and quickly moved to reprimand her daughter-in-law.
“You shouldn’t say we’ve got no one to look to, Mary,” she said. “We’re not as them who are without God and without hope in the world. The Lord is our shepherd. He careth for the widow and the fatherless.”
“You shouldn’t say we have no one to look to, Mary,” she said. “We’re not like those who are without God and without hope in the world. The Lord is our shepherd. He cares for the widow and the fatherless.”
Owen was very doubtful about this also. He had seen so many badly cared-for children about the streets lately, and what he remembered of his own sorrowful childhood was all evidence to the contrary.
Owen was really unsure about this too. He had seen so many neglected children on the streets recently, and what he recalled from his own sad childhood contradicted that.
An awkward silence succeeded. Owen did not wish to continue this conversation: he was afraid that he might say something that would hurt the old woman. Besides, he was anxious to get away; he began to feel cold in his wet clothes.
An awkward silence followed. Owen didn't want to keep this conversation going: he was scared he might say something that would upset the old woman. Plus, he was eager to leave; he was starting to feel cold in his damp clothes.
As he put his empty cup on the table he said:
As he set his empty cup down on the table, he said:
“Well, I must be going. They’ll be thinking I’m lost, at home.”
“Well, I should get going. They’ll think I’m lost at home.”
The kitten had finished all the bread and milk and was gravely washing its face with one of its forepaws, to the great admiration of the two children, who were sitting on the floor beside it. It was an artful-looking kitten, all black, with a very large head and a very small body. It reminded Owen of a tadpole.
The kitten had eaten all the bread and milk and was seriously cleaning its face with one of its front paws, much to the delight of the two kids sitting on the floor next to it. It was a clever-looking kitten, completely black, with a huge head and a tiny body. It reminded Owen of a tadpole.
“Do you like cats?” he asked, addressing the children.
“Do you like cats?” he asked, looking at the kids.
“Yes,” said the boy. “Give it to us, will you, mister?”
“Yes,” said the boy. “Can you give it to us, please, sir?”
“Oh, do leave it ’ere, mister,” exclaimed the little girl. “I’ll look after it.”
“Oh, just leave it here, mister,” said the little girl. “I’ll take care of it.”
“So will I,” said the boy.
“So will I,” said the boy.
“But haven’t you one of your own?” asked Owen.
“But don’t you have one of your own?” Owen asked.
“Yes; we’ve got a big one.”
“Yes, we have a big one.”
“Well, if you have one already and I give you this, then you’d have two cats, and I’d have none. That wouldn’t be fair, would it?”
“Well, if you already have one and I give you this, then you’d have two cats, and I’d have none. That wouldn’t be fair, right?”
“Well, you can ’ave a lend of our cat for a little while if you give us this kitten,” said the boy, after a moment’s thought.
"Well, you can borrow our cat for a little while if you give us this kitten," said the boy, after a moment's thought.
“Why would you rather have the kitten?”
“Why would you prefer the kitten?”
“Because it would play: our cat don’t want to play, it’s too old.”
“Because it would play: our cat doesn’t want to play, it’s too old.”
“Perhaps you’re too rough with it,” returned Owen.
“Maybe you’re too rough with it,” Owen replied.
“No, it ain’t that; it’s just because it’s old.”
“No, that’s not it; it’s just because it’s old.”
“You know cats is just the same as people,” explained the little girl, wisely. “When they’re grown up I suppose they’ve got their troubles to think about.”
“You know, cats are just like people,” the little girl explained wisely. “When they grow up, I guess they have their own problems to think about.”
Owen wondered how long it would be before her troubles commenced. As he gazed at these two little orphans he thought of his own child, and of the rough and thorny way they would all three have to travel if they were so unfortunate as to outlive their childhood.
Owen wondered how long it would be before her problems started. As he looked at the two little orphans, he thought about his own child, and about the tough and challenging path they would all have to walk if they were unfortunate enough to live past their childhood.
“Can we ’ave it, mister?” repeated the boy.
“Can we have it, mister?” repeated the boy.
Owen would have liked to grant the children’s request, but he wanted the kitten himself. Therefore he was relieved when their grandmother exclaimed:
Owen wanted to say yes to the kids, but he really wanted the kitten for himself. So he felt relieved when their grandmother said:
“We don’t want no more cats ’ere: we’ve got one already; that’s quite enough.”
“We don’t want any more cats here: we already have one; that’s more than enough.”
She was not yet quite satisfied in her mind that the creature was not an incarnation of the Devil, but whether it was or not she did not want it, or anything else of Owen’s, in this house. She wished he would go, and take his kitten or his familiar or whatever it was, with him. No good could come of his being there. Was it not written in the Word: “If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maran-atha.” She did not know exactly what Anathema Maran-atha meant, but there could be no doubt that it was something very unpleasant. It was a terrible thing that this blasphemer who—as she had heard—did not believe there was a Hell and said that the Bible was not the Word of God, should be here in the house sitting on one of their chairs, drinking from one of their cups, and talking to their children.
She wasn't completely convinced that the creature wasn't a representation of the Devil, but regardless of that, she didn't want it, or anything else belonging to Owen, in this house. She wished he would leave and take his kitten or familiar or whatever it was with him. Nothing good could come from his presence. Wasn't it written in the Word: “If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maran-atha.” She didn't know exactly what Anathema Maran-atha meant, but it was definitely something very unpleasant. It was awful that this blasphemer—who, as she had heard, didn't believe there was a Hell and claimed that the Bible wasn't the Word of God—should be here in the house, sitting on one of their chairs, drinking from one of their cups, and talking to their children.
The children stood by wistfully when Owen put the kitten under his coat and rose to go away.
The kids stood by with longing as Owen tucked the kitten under his coat and got ready to leave.
As Linden prepared to accompany him to the front door, Owen, happening to notice a timepiece standing on a small table in the recess at one side of the fireplace, exclaimed:
As Linden got ready to go with him to the front door, Owen, noticing a clock on a small table tucked away beside the fireplace, exclaimed:
“That’s a very nice clock.”
“That’s a really nice clock.”
“Yes, it’s all right, ain’t it?” said old Jack, with a touch of pride. “Poor Tom made that: not the clock itself, but just the case.”
“Yes, it’s fine, isn’t it?” said old Jack, with a hint of pride. “Poor Tom made that: not the clock itself, but just the case.”
It was the case that had attracted Owen’s attention. It stood about two feet high and was made of fretwork in the form of an Indian mosque, with a pointed dome and pinnacles. It was a very beautiful thing and must have cost many hours of patient labour.
It was the case that had caught Owen’s eye. It stood about two feet tall and was crafted from intricate fretwork shaped like an Indian mosque, complete with a pointed dome and spires. It was a stunning piece and must have taken many hours of dedicated work.
“Yes,” said the old woman, in a trembling, broken voice, and looking at Owen with a pathetic expression. “Months and months he worked at it, and no one ever guessed who it were for. And then, when my birthday came round, the very first thing I saw when I woke up in the morning were the clock standing on a chair by the bed with a card:
“Yes,” said the old woman, in a shaky, broken voice, looking at Owen with a sad expression. “He worked on it for months and months, and no one ever figured out who it was for. Then, when my birthday came around, the very first thing I saw when I woke up in the morning was the clock standing on a chair by the bed with a card:
“To dear mother, from her loving son, Tom.
Wishing her many happy birthdays.”
“To dear mom, from her loving son, Tom.
Wishing her many happy birthdays.”
“But he never had another birthday himself, because just five months afterwards he were sent out to Africa, and he’d only been there five weeks when he died. Five years ago, come the fifteenth of next month.”
“But he never had another birthday himself, because just five months later he was sent out to Africa, and he’d only been there five weeks when he died. Five years ago, on the fifteenth of next month.”
Owen, inwardly regretting that he had unintentionally broached so painful a subject, tried to think of some suitable reply, but had to content himself with murmuring some words of admiration of the work.
Owen, secretly regretting that he had accidentally brought up such a painful topic, tried to come up with a suitable response, but had to settle for mumbling some words of admiration for the work.
As he wished her good night, the old woman, looking at him, could not help observing that he appeared very frail and ill: his face was very thin and pale, and his eyes were unnaturally bright.
As he said good night to her, the old woman, looking at him, couldn’t help but notice that he seemed very weak and sick: his face was very thin and pale, and his eyes were unusually bright.
Possibly the Lord in His infinite loving kindness and mercy was chastening this unhappy castaway in order that He might bring him to Himself. After all, he was not altogether bad: it was certainly very thoughtful of him to come all this way to let John know about that job. She observed that he had no overcoat, and the storm was still raging fiercely outside, furious gusts of wind frequently striking the house and shaking it to its very foundations.
Possibly the Lord, in His infinite love and mercy, was trying to teach this unhappy outcast a lesson so that He could draw him closer to Himself. After all, he wasn't totally bad; it was really considerate of him to come all this way to tell John about that job. She noticed that he didn't have an overcoat, and the storm was still raging hard outside, with fierce gusts of wind repeatedly hitting the house and shaking it to its very foundations.
The natural kindliness of her character asserted itself; her better feelings were aroused, triumphing momentarily over the bigotry of her religious opinions.
The natural kindness of her character came through; her better feelings were stirred, briefly overcoming the narrow-mindedness of her religious beliefs.
“Why, you ain’t got no overcoat!” she exclaimed. “You’ll be soaked goin’ ’ome in this rain.” Then, turning to her husband, she continued: “There’s that old one of yours; you might lend him that; it would be better than nothing.”
“Why, you don’t have an overcoat!” she exclaimed. “You’ll be soaked going home in this rain.” Then, turning to her husband, she continued: “There’s that old one of yours; you could lend him that; it would be better than nothing.”
But Owen would not hear of this: he thought, as he became very conscious of the clammy feel of his saturated clothing, that he could not get much wetter than he already was. Linden accompanied him as far as the front door, and Owen once more set out on his way homeward through the storm that howled around like a wild beast hungry for its prey.
But Owen wouldn't entertain that idea: he realized, feeling the dampness of his soaked clothes, that he couldn’t possibly get any wetter than he already was. Linden walked him to the front door, and Owen set off again on his way home through the storm that raged around him like a wild animal craving its prey.
Chapter 6
It is not My Crime
Owen and his family occupied the top floor of a house that had once been a large private dwelling but which had been transformed into a series of flats. It was situated in Lord Street, almost in the centre of the town.
Owen and his family lived on the top floor of a house that used to be a large private home but had been turned into a series of apartments. It was located on Lord Street, almost at the center of town.
At one time this had been a most aristocratic locality, but most of the former residents had migrated to the newer suburb at the west of the town. Notwithstanding this fact, Lord Street was still a most respectable neighbourhood, the inhabitants generally being of a very superior type: shop-walkers, shop assistants, barber’s clerks, boarding house keepers, a coal merchant, and even two retired jerry-builders.
At one point, this area was very upscale, but most of the former residents moved to the newer suburb on the west side of town. Despite this, Lord Street remained a respectable neighborhood, with the residents mostly being of a high quality: shop workers, shop assistants, barbers, boarding house owners, a coal merchant, and even two retired builders known for their shoddy work.
There were four other flats in the house in which Owen lived. No. 1 (the basement) was occupied by an estate agent’s clerk. No. 2—on a level with the street—was the habitat of the family of Mr Trafaim, a cadaverous-looking gentleman who wore a top hat, boasted of his French descent, and was a shop-walker at Sweater’s Emporium. No. 3 was tenanted by an insurance agent, and in No. 4 dwelt a tallyman’s traveller.
There were four other apartments in the building where Owen lived. Unit 1 (the basement) was occupied by an estate agent’s clerk. Unit 2—on the same level as the street—was home to the family of Mr. Trafaim, a gaunt-looking man who wore a top hat, claimed to have French ancestry, and worked as a shop assistant at Sweater’s Emporium. Unit 3 was rented by an insurance agent, and in Unit 4 lived a traveling salesman for a tallyman.
Lord Street—like most other similar neighbourhoods—supplied a striking answer to those futile theorists who prate of the equality of mankind, for the inhabitants instinctively formed themselves into groups, the more superior types drawing together, separating themselves from the inferior, and rising naturally to the top, while the others gathered themselves into distinct classes, grading downwards, or else isolated themselves altogether; being refused admission to the circles they desired to enter, and in their turn refusing to associate with their inferiors.
Lord Street—like most other similar neighborhoods—provided a clear answer to those pointless theorists who talk about the equality of mankind. The residents naturally grouped themselves, with the more elite types coming together and separating from the less privileged, rising to the top, while the others formed distinct classes, moving downward or completely isolating themselves. They were denied entry to the circles they wanted to join and, in turn, refused to associate with those they considered beneath them.
The most exclusive set consisted of the families of the coal merchant, the two retired jerry-builders and Mr Trafaim, whose superiority was demonstrated by the fact that, to say nothing of his French extraction, he wore—in addition to the top hat aforesaid—a frock coat and a pair of lavender trousers every day. The coal merchant and the jerry builders also wore top hats, lavender trousers and frock coats, but only on Sundays and other special occasions. The estate agent’s clerk and the insurance agent, though excluded from the higher circle, belonged to another select coterie from which they excluded in their turn all persons of inferior rank, such as shop assistants or barbers.
The most exclusive group was made up of the families of the coal merchant, the two retired builders known for their shoddy construction, and Mr. Trafaim. His status was clear not only because of his French background, but also because he wore—a top hat, a frock coat, and a pair of lavender trousers every day. The coal merchant and the builders also wore top hats, lavender trousers, and frock coats, but only on Sundays and special occasions. The estate agent’s clerk and the insurance agent, while excluded from the upper circle, belonged to another select group that excluded anyone of lower status, such as shop assistants or barbers.
The only individual who was received with equal cordiality by all ranks, was the tallyman’s traveller. But whatever differences existed amongst them regarding each other’s social standing they were unanimous on one point at least: they were indignant at Owen’s presumption in coming to live in such a refined locality.
The only person who was welcomed equally by everyone was the tallyman's traveler. But no matter what differences they had about each other's social status, they all agreed on one thing: they were offended by Owen's boldness in moving into such an upscale area.
This low fellow, this common workman, with his paint-bespattered clothing, his broken boots, and his generally shabby appearance, was a disgrace to the street; and as for his wife she was not much better, because although whenever she came out she was always neatly dressed, yet most of the neighbours knew perfectly well that she had been wearing the same white straw hat all the time she had been there. In fact, the only tolerable one of the family was the boy, and they were forced to admit that he was always very well dressed; so well indeed as to occasion some surprise, until they found out that all the boy’s clothes were home-made. Then their surprise was changed into a somewhat grudging admiration of the skill displayed, mingled with contempt for the poverty which made its exercise necessary.
This low-life guy, this ordinary worker, with his paint-splattered clothes, his worn-out boots, and his generally shabby look, was an embarrassment to the street; and as for his wife, she wasn't much better. Even though she always dressed neatly when she went out, most of the neighbors knew she had been wearing the same white straw hat the entire time she had been there. In fact, the only decent one in the family was the boy, and they had to admit that he was always very well dressed; so well, in fact, that it surprised them until they found out all of the boy’s clothes were homemade. Then their surprise turned into a bit of grudging admiration for the skill involved, mixed with contempt for the poverty that made it necessary.
The indignation of the neighbours was increased when it became known that Owen and his wife were not Christians: then indeed everyone agreed that the landlord ought to be ashamed of himself for letting the top flat to such people.
The neighbors' outrage grew when it was revealed that Owen and his wife weren’t Christians; at that point, everyone agreed that the landlord should be embarrassed for renting the top flat to such individuals.
But although the hearts of these disciples of the meek and lowly Jewish carpenter were filled with uncharitableness, they were powerless to do much harm. The landlord regarded their opinion with indifference. All he cared about was the money: although he also was a sincere Christian, he would not have hesitated to let the top flat to Satan himself, provided he was certain of receiving the rent regularly.
But even though the hearts of these followers of the humble Jewish carpenter were filled with unkindness, they were unable to do much damage. The landlord paid no attention to their opinions. All he cared about was the money: even though he was also a sincere Christian, he wouldn’t have hesitated to rent the top flat to Satan himself, as long as he was sure to get the rent on time.
The only one upon whom the Christians were able to inflict any suffering was the child. At first when he used to go out into the street to play, the other children, acting on their parents’ instructions, refused to associate with him, or taunted him with his parents’ poverty. Occasionally he came home heartbroken and in tears because he had been excluded from some game.
The only person the Christians could hurt was the child. At first, when he went out to play in the street, the other kids, following their parents’ orders, wouldn’t play with him or would mock him for his family’s poverty. Sometimes he came home heartbroken and in tears because he had been left out of a game.
At first, sometimes the mothers of some of the better-class children used to come out with a comical assumption of superiority and dignity and compel their children to leave off playing with Frankie and some other poorly dressed children who used to play in that street. These females were usually overdressed and wore a lot of jewellery. Most of them fancied they were ladies, and if they had only had the sense to keep their mouths shut, other people might possibly have shared the same delusion.
At first, some of the mothers of the more affluent kids would come out with a funny sense of superiority and dignity, urging their children to stop playing with Frankie and the other kids in the street who weren’t as well-dressed. These women were usually dressed to the nines and adorned with lots of jewelry. Most of them believed they were ladies, and if they had just kept their mouths shut, maybe others would have bought into the same illusion.
But this was now a rare occurrence, because the parents of the other children found it a matter of considerable difficulty to prevent their youngsters from associating with those of inferior rank, for when left to themselves the children disregarded all such distinctions. Frequently in that street was to be seen the appalling spectacle of the ten-year-old son of the refined and fashionable Trafaim dragging along a cart constructed of a sugar box and an old pair of perambulator wheels with no tyres, in which reposed the plebeian Frankie Owen, armed with a whip, and the dowdy daughter of a barber’s clerk: while the nine-year-old heir of the coal merchant rushed up behind...
But this was now a rare sight, because the parents of the other kids found it really hard to keep their children from hanging out with those of lower status, since when left to their own devices, the kids ignored all those differences. Often in that street, you could see the shocking sight of the ten-year-old son of the classy and trendy Trafaim pulling a cart made from a sugar box and an old set of stroller wheels without tires, in which the not-so-posh Frankie Owen sat with a whip, along with the plain daughter of a barber's clerk; while the nine-year-old heir of the coal merchant rushed up behind...
Owen’s wife and little son were waiting for him in the living room. This room was about twelve feet square and the ceiling—which was low and irregularly shaped, showing in places the formation of the roof—had been decorated by Owen with painted ornaments.
Owen’s wife and young son were waiting for him in the living room. This room was roughly twelve feet square, and the ceiling—which was low and oddly shaped, revealing parts of the roof—had been decorated by Owen with painted ornaments.
There were three or four chairs, and an oblong table, covered with a clean white tablecloth, set ready for tea. In the recess at the right of the fireplace—an ordinary open grate—were a number of shelves filled with a miscellaneous collection of books, most of which had been bought second-hand.
There were three or four chairs and a long table, covered with a clean white tablecloth, set up for tea. In the nook to the right of the fireplace—an ordinary open grate—were several shelves filled with a mix of books, most of which had been purchased second-hand.
There were also a number of new books, mostly cheap editions in paper covers.
There were also several new books, mostly inexpensive editions in paperback.
Over the back of a chair at one side of the fire, was hanging an old suit of Owen’s, and some underclothing, which his wife had placed there to air, knowing that he would be wet through by the time he arrived home...
Over the back of a chair beside the fire hung an old suit of Owen’s and some underwear that his wife had put there to air out, knowing he would be soaked by the time he got home...
The woman was half-sitting, half lying, on a couch by the other side of the fire. She was very thin, and her pale face bore the traces of much physical and mental suffering. She was sewing, a task which her reclining position rendered somewhat difficult. Although she was really only twenty-eight years of age, she appeared older.
The woman was half-sitting, half-lying on a couch by the other side of the fire. She was very thin, and her pale face showed signs of a lot of physical and mental suffering. She was sewing, a task that was somewhat difficult due to her position. Even though she was only twenty-eight years old, she looked older.
The boy, who was sitting on the hearthrug playing with some toys, bore a strong resemblance to his mother. He also, appeared very fragile and in his childish face was reproduced much of the delicate prettiness which she had once possessed. His feminine appearance was increased by the fact that his yellow hair hung in long curls on his shoulders. The pride with which his mother regarded this long hair was by no means shared by Frankie himself, for he was always entreating her to cut it off.
The boy, sitting on the living room rug playing with some toys, looked just like his mom. He seemed very fragile, and his childlike face had a lot of the delicate beauty she once had. His feminine look was heightened by his long, curly yellow hair that fell over his shoulders. While his mom was proud of his long hair, Frankie himself didn't feel the same way and constantly begged her to cut it off.
Presently the boy stood up and walking gravely over to the window, looked down into the street, scanning the pavement for as far as he could see: he had been doing this at intervals for the last hour.
Currently, the boy stood up and walked seriously over to the window, looking down into the street, scanning the pavement as far as he could see; he had been doing this periodically for the last hour.
“I wonder wherever he’s got to,” he said, as he returned to the fire.
“I wonder where he’s gone,” he said, as he walked back to the fire.
“I’m sure I don’t know,” returned his mother. “Perhaps he’s had to work overtime.”
“I really don’t know,” his mother replied. “Maybe he had to work late.”
“You know, I’ve been thinking lately,” observed Frankie, after a pause, “that it’s a great mistake for Dad to go out working at all. I believe that’s the very reason why we’re so poor.”
“You know, I’ve been thinking lately,” Frankie said after a pause, “that it’s a big mistake for Dad to go out and work at all. I really think that’s the main reason why we’re so broke.”
“Nearly everyone who works is more or less poor, dear, but if Dad didn’t go out to work we’d be even poorer than we are now. We should have nothing to eat.”
“Almost everyone who works is kind of broke, dear, but if Dad didn’t go out to work, we’d be even poorer than we are now. We wouldn’t have anything to eat.”
“But Dad says that the people who do nothing get lots of everything.”
“But Dad says that people who don’t do anything get a lot of everything.”
“Yes, and it’s quite true that most of the people who never do any work get lots of everything, but where do they get it from? And how do they get it?”
“Yes, and it’s true that most people who don’t do any work get a lot of everything, but where do they get it from? And how do they get it?”
“I’m sure I don’t know,” replied Frankie, shaking his head in a puzzled fashion.
“I have no idea,” Frankie replied, shaking his head in confusion.
“Supposing Dad didn’t go to work, or that he had no work to go to, or that he was ill and not able to do any work, then we’d have no money to buy anything. How should we get on then?”
“Suppose Dad didn’t go to work, or that he had no job to go to, or that he was sick and unable to work, then we wouldn’t have any money to buy anything. How would we manage then?”
“I’m sure I don’t know,” repeated Frankie, looking round the room in a thoughtful manner, “The chairs that’s left aren’t good enough to sell, and we can’t sell the beds, or your sofa, but you might pawn my velvet suit.”
“I really don’t know,” Frankie said again, glancing around the room with a thoughtful look. “The chairs that are left aren’t nice enough to sell, and we can’t sell the beds or your sofa, but you could pawn my velvet suit.”
“But even if all the things were good enough to sell, the money we’d get for them wouldn’t last very long, and what should we do then?”
“But even if everything was good enough to sell, the money we’d get for it wouldn’t last long, and what would we do then?”
“Well, I suppose we’d have to go without, that’s all, the same as we did when Dad was in London.”
“Well, I guess we’ll just have to do without, just like we did when Dad was in London.”
“But how do the people who never do any work manage to get lots of money then?” added Frankie.
“But how do people who never work manage to make so much money?” added Frankie.
“Oh, there’s lots of different ways. For instance, you remember when Dad was in London, and we had no food in the house, I had to sell the easy chair.”
“Oh, there are plenty of different ways. For example, remember when Dad was in London and we had no food in the house? I had to sell the easy chair.”
Frankie nodded. “Yes,” he said, “I remember you wrote a note and I took it to the shop, and afterwards old Didlum came up here and bought it, and then his cart came and a man took it away.”
Frankie nodded. “Yeah,” he said, “I remember you wrote a note and I took it to the shop, and then old Didlum came up here and bought it, and after that, his cart came and a guy took it away.”
“And do you remember how much he gave us for it?”
“And do you remember how much he gave us for it?”
“Five shillings,” replied Frankie, promptly. He was well acquainted with the details of the transaction, having often heard his father and mother discuss it.
“Five shillings,” Frankie replied quickly. He knew all the details of the deal since he had often heard his parents talk about it.
“And when we saw it in his shop window a little while afterwards, what price was marked on it?”
“And when we saw it in his shop window a little while later, what price was listed on it?”
“Fifteen shillings.”
"Fifteen shillings."
“Well, that’s one way of getting money without working.”
“Well, that’s one way to make money without having to work.”
Frankie played with his toys in silence for some minutes. At last he said:
Frankie played quietly with his toys for a few minutes. Finally, he said:
“What other ways?”
“What other options?”
“Some people who have some money already get more in this way: they find some people who have no money and say to them, ‘Come and work for us.’ Then the people who have the money pay the workers just enough wages to keep them alive whilst they are at work. Then, when the things that the working people have been making are finished, the workers are sent away, and as they still have no money, they are soon starving. In the meantime the people who had the money take all the things that the workers have made and sell them for a great deal more money than they gave to the workers for making them. That’s another way of getting lots of money without doing any useful work.”
“Some people who already have money find ways to get more: they look for those who have none and say, ‘Come work for us.’ Then the wealthy pay these workers just enough to keep them alive while they work. Once the workers finish making the products, they’re sent away, and since they still have no money, they quickly end up starving. Meanwhile, the people with money take everything the workers produced and sell it for much more than they paid the workers to make it. That’s another way to make a lot of money without doing any real work.”
“But is there no way to get rich without doing such things as that?”
“But is there really no way to get rich without doing stuff like that?”
“It’s not possible for anyone to become rich without cheating other people.”
“It’s impossible for anyone to get rich without cheating others.”
“What about our schoolmaster then? He doesn’t do any work.”
“What about our teacher then? He doesn’t do any work.”
“Don’t you think it’s useful and necessary and also very hard work teaching all those boys every day? I don’t think I should like to have to do it.”
“Don’t you think it’s important and also really tough work teaching all those boys every day? I don’t think I’d want to do it.”
“Yes, I suppose what he does is some use,” said Frankie thoughtfully. “And it must be rather hard too, I should think. I’ve noticed he looks a bit worried sometimes, and sometimes he gets into a fine old wax when the boys don’t pay proper attention.”
“Yes, I guess what he does is somewhat useful,” said Frankie thoughtfully. “And it must be pretty difficult too, I’d imagine. I’ve noticed he looks a bit stressed sometimes, and sometimes he gets really worked up when the boys don’t pay proper attention.”
The child again went over to the window, and pulling back the edge of the blind looked down the deserted rain washed street.
The child went back to the window and pulled back the edge of the blind to look down the empty, rain-soaked street.
“What about the vicar?” he remarked as he returned.
“What about the vicar?” he said as he came back.
Although Frankie did not go to church or Sunday School, the day school that he had attended was that attached to the parish church, and the vicar was in the habit of looking in occasionally.
Although Frankie didn't go to church or Sunday School, the day school he had attended was connected to the parish church, and the vicar had a habit of stopping by now and then.
“Ah, he really is one of those who live without doing any necessary work, and of all the people who do nothing, the vicar is one of the very worst.”
“Ah, he really is one of those who live without doing any necessary work, and of all the people who do nothing, the vicar is one of the very worst.”
Frankie looked up at his mother with some surprise, not because he entertained any very high opinion of clergymen in general, for, having been an attentive listener to many conversations between his parents, he had of course assimilated their opinions as far as his infant understanding permitted, but because at the school the scholars were taught to regard the gentleman in question with the most profound reverence and respect.
Frankie looked up at his mom in surprise, not because he had a particularly high opinion of clergymen in general—after all, he had listened closely to many conversations between his parents and absorbed their views as much as a young child could—but because at school, the students were taught to see the man in question with deep reverence and respect.
“Why, Mum?” he asked.
“Why, Mom?” he asked.
“For this reason, dearie. You know that all the beautiful things which the people who do nothing have are made by the people who work, don’t you?”
“For this reason, my dear. You know that all the beautiful things that people who don’t do anything have are created by those who work, right?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“And you know that those who work have to eat the very worst food, and wear the very worst clothes, and live in the very worst homes.”
“And you know that those who work have to eat the worst food, wear the worst clothes, and live in the worst homes.”
“Yes,” said Frankie.
"Yeah," said Frankie.
“And sometimes they have nothing to eat at all, and no clothes to wear except rags, and even no homes to live in.”
“And sometimes they have nothing to eat at all, no clothes to wear except rags, and even no homes to live in.”
“Yes,” repeated the child.
“Yes,” the child said again.
“Well, the vicar goes about telling the Idlers that it’s quite right for them to do nothing, and that God meant them to have nearly everything that is made by those who work. In fact, he tells them that God made the poor for the use of the rich. Then he goes to the workers and tells them that God meant them to work very hard and to give all the good things they make to those who do nothing, and that they should be very thankful to God and to the idlers for being allowed to have even the very worst food to eat and the rags, and broken boots to wear. He also tells them that they mustn’t grumble, or be discontented because they’re poor in this world, but that they must wait till they’re dead, and then God will reward them by letting them go to a place called Heaven.”
“Well, the vicar goes around telling the Idlers that it's perfectly fine for them to do nothing and that God intends for them to enjoy almost everything created by those who work. In fact, he tells them that God made the poor for the benefit of the rich. Then he talks to the workers and says that God wants them to work very hard and give all the good things they produce to those who do nothing, and that they should be extremely grateful to God and to the Idlers for being allowed to have even the most basic food and tattered clothes, along with worn-out shoes. He also tells them that they shouldn't complain or be unhappy about being poor in this world, but that they must wait until they're dead, and then God will reward them by allowing them to go to a place called Heaven.”
Frankie laughed.
Frankie chuckled.
“And what about the Idlers?” he asked.
“And what about the Idlers?” he asked.
“The vicar says that if they believe everything he tells them and give him some of the money they make out of the workers, then God will let them into heaven also.”
“The vicar says that if they believe everything he tells them and give him a portion of the money they earn from the workers, then God will let them into heaven too.”
“Well, that’s not fair doos, is it, Mum?” said Frankie with some indignation.
“Well, that’s not fair, is it, Mom?” Frankie said, feeling a bit upset.
“It wouldn’t be if it were true, but then you see it’s not true, it can’t be true.”
“It wouldn’t be if it were true, but then you see it’s not true, it can't be true.”
“Why can’t it, Mum?”
“Why not, Mom?”
“Oh, for many reasons: to begin with, the vicar doesn’t believe it himself: he only pretends to. For instance, he pretends to believe the Bible, but if we read the Bible we find that Jesus said that God is our father and that all the people in the world are His children, all brothers and sisters. But the vicar says that although Jesus said ‘brothers and sisters’ He really ought to have said ‘masters and servants’. Again, Jesus said that His disciples should not think of tomorrow, or save up a lot of money for themselves, but they should be unselfish and help those who are in need. Jesus said that His disciples must not think about their own future needs at all, because God will provide for them if they only do as He commands. But the vicar says that is all nonsense.
“Oh, for many reasons: to start, the vicar doesn’t actually believe it himself; he just pretends to. For example, he pretends to believe the Bible, but if we read the Bible, we see that Jesus said that God is our Father and that all the people in the world are His children, all brothers and sisters. But the vicar claims that even though Jesus said ‘brothers and sisters,’ He really should have said ‘masters and servants.’ Furthermore, Jesus stated that His disciples should not worry about tomorrow or hoard money for themselves, but they should be selfless and assist those in need. Jesus emphasized that His disciples shouldn’t be concerned about their future at all, because God will take care of them if they just follow His commands. Yet the vicar dismisses that as nonsense.”
“Jesus also said that if anyone tried to do His disciples harm, they must never resist, but forgive those who injured them and pray God to forgive them also. But the vicar says this is all nonsense too. He says that the world would never be able to go on if we did as Jesus taught. The vicar teaches that the way to deal with those that injure us is to have them put into prison, or—if they belong to some other country—to take guns and knives and murder them, and burn their houses. So you see the vicar doesn’t really believe or do any of the things that Jesus said: he only pretends.”
“Jesus also said that if anyone tried to harm His disciples, they should never resist but should forgive those who hurt them and pray for God to forgive them too. But the vicar says this is all nonsense as well. He claims that the world wouldn’t be able to function if we followed Jesus' teachings. The vicar teaches that the way to handle those who injure us is to have them imprisoned, or—if they’re from another country—to take guns and knives to kill them and burn their homes. So you can see the vicar doesn’t actually believe in or practice any of the things Jesus taught; he just pretends.”
“But why does he pretend, and go about talking like that, Mum? What does he do it for?”
“But why does he act like that and talk like that, Mom? What’s the point of it?”
“Because he wishes to live without working himself, dear.”
“Because he wants to live without doing any work himself, dear.”
“And don’t the people know he’s only pretending?”
“And don’t people realize he’s just pretending?”
“Some of them do. Most of the idlers know that what the vicar says is not true, but they pretend to believe it, and give him money for saying it, because they want him to go on telling it to the workers so that they will go on working and keep quiet and be afraid to think for themselves.”
“Some of them do. Most of the lazy ones know that what the vicar says isn’t true, but they act like they believe it and give him money for saying it because they want him to keep telling it to the workers so that they will continue working, stay quiet, and be too afraid to think for themselves.”
“And what about the workers? Do they believe it?
“And what about the workers? Do they actually believe it?
“Most of them do, because when they were little children like you, their mothers taught them to believe, without thinking, whatever the vicar said, and that God made them for the use of the idlers. When they went to school, they were taught the same thing: and now that they’re grown up they really believe it, and they go to work and give nearly everything they make to the idlers, and have next to nothing left for themselves and their children. That’s the reason why the workers’ children have very bad clothes to wear and sometimes no food to eat; and that’s how it is that the idlers and their children have more clothes than they need and more food than they can eat. Some of them have so much food that they are not able to eat it. They just waste it or throw it away.”
“Most of them do, because when they were little kids like you, their moms taught them to believe, without questioning, whatever the vicar said, and that God made them for the benefit of the lazy. When they went to school, they learned the same thing: and now that they’re adults, they truly believe it. They go to work and give almost everything they earn to the lazy, leaving themselves and their kids with almost nothing. That’s why the workers’ kids wear very poor clothes and sometimes go without food; and that’s why the lazy and their kids have more clothes than they need and more food than they can eat. Some of them have so much food that they can’t finish it. They just waste it or throw it away.”
“When I’m grown up into a man,” said Frankie, with a flushed face, “I’m going to be one of the workers, and when we’ve made a lot of things, I shall stand up and tell the others what to do. If any of the idlers come to take our things away, they’ll get something they won’t like.”
“When I’m grown up into a man,” said Frankie, blushing, “I’m going to be one of the workers, and when we’ve created a lot of things, I’ll stand up and tell the others what to do. If any of the lazy ones come to take our stuff away, they’ll get something they won’t like.”
In a state of suppressed excitement and scarcely conscious of what he was doing, the boy began gathering up the toys and throwing them violently one by one into the box.
In a state of barely contained excitement and hardly aware of his actions, the boy started picking up the toys and tossing them one by one into the box with force.
“I’ll teach ’em to come taking our things away,” he exclaimed, relapsing momentarily into his street style of speaking.
“I’ll show them not to come and take our stuff,” he exclaimed, slipping back into his street style of speaking.
“First of all we’ll all stand quietly on one side. Then when the idlers come in and start touching our things, we’ll go up to ’em and say, ‘’Ere, watcher doin’ of? Just you put it down, will yer?’ And if they don’t put it down at once, it’ll be the worse for ’em, I can tell you.”
“First, we’ll all stand quietly to one side. Then, when the idle ones come in and start touching our stuff, we’ll go up to them and say, ‘Hey, what are you doing? Just put that down, will you?’ And if they don’t put it down right away, it’ll be bad for them, I can tell you.”
All the toys being collected, Frankie picked up the box and placed it noisily in its accustomed corner of the room.
All the toys were gathered up, and Frankie grabbed the box and noisily set it in its usual corner of the room.
“I should think the workers will be jolly glad when they see me coming to tell them what to do, shouldn’t you, Mum?”
“I think the workers will be really happy to see me coming to tell them what to do, don’t you, Mom?”
“I don’t know dear; you see so many people have tried to tell them, but they won’t listen, they don’t want to hear. They think it’s quite right that they should work very hard all their lives, and quite right that most of the things they help to make should be taken away from them by the people who do nothing. The workers think that their children are not as good as the children of the idlers, and they teach their children that as soon as ever they are old enough they must be satisfied to work very hard and to have only very bad food and clothes and homes.”
“I don’t know, dear; so many people have tried to tell them, but they won’t listen, they don’t want to hear. They believe it’s perfectly fine for them to work really hard all their lives, and perfectly fine that most of what they help create is taken away by those who do nothing. The workers think their kids are not as good as the kids of the idle, and they teach their children that as soon as they’re old enough, they must be content to work really hard and have only poor food, clothes, and homes.”
“Then I should think the workers ought to be jolly ashamed of themselves, Mum, don’t you?”
“Then I think the workers should be really ashamed of themselves, Mom, don’t you?”
“Well, in one sense they ought, but you must remember that that’s what they’ve always been taught themselves. First, their mothers and fathers told them so; then, their schoolteachers told them so; and then, when they went to church, the vicar and the Sunday School teacher told them the same thing. So you can’t be surprised that they now really believe that God made them and their children to make things for the use of the people who do nothing.”
“Well, in a way they should, but you have to keep in mind that’s what they’ve always been taught. First, their parents told them that; then, their teachers did; and when they went to church, the pastor and the Sunday School teacher said the same thing. So you can’t be surprised that they now genuinely believe that God created them and their children to produce things for the benefit of the people who don’t do anything.”
“But you’d think their own sense would tell them! How can it be right for the people who do nothing to have the very best and most of everything that’s made, and the very ones who make everything to have hardly any. Why even I know better than that, and I’m only six and a half years old.”
“But you’d think they’d have enough sense! How can it be fair for the people who do nothing to have the best and most of everything that’s made, while the ones who actually make everything have so little? I know better than that, and I’m only six and a half years old.”
“But then you’re different, dearie, you’ve been taught to think about it, and Dad and I have explained it to you, often.”
“But you’re different, sweetie, you’ve learned to think about it, and Dad and I have explained it to you, many times.”
“Yes, I know,” replied Frankie confidently. “But even if you’d never taught me, I’m sure I should have tumbled to it all right by myself; I’m not such a juggins as you think I am.”
“Yes, I know,” replied Frankie confidently. “But even if you hadn’t taught me, I’m sure I would have figured it out on my own; I’m not as clueless as you think I am.”
“So you might, but you wouldn’t if you’d been brought up in the same way as most of the workers. They’ve been taught that it’s very wicked to use their own judgement, or to think. And their children are being taught so now. Do you remember what you told me the other day, when you came home from school, about the Scripture lesson?”
“So you might, but you wouldn’t if you’d been raised like most of the workers. They’ve been taught that it’s really wrong to use their own judgment or to think. And their kids are being taught the same now. Do you remember what you told me the other day when you got home from school about the Bible lesson?”
“About St Thomas?”
"Info on St. Thomas?"
“Yes. What did the teacher say St Thomas was?”
“Yes. What did the teacher say St. Thomas was?”
“She said he was a bad example; and she said I was worse than him because I asked too many foolish questions. She always gets in a wax if I talk too much.”
“She said he was a bad influence; and she said I was worse than him because I asked too many silly questions. She always gets annoyed if I talk too much.”
“Well, why did she call St Thomas a bad example?”
“Well, why did she say St. Thomas is a bad example?”
“Because he wouldn’t believe what he was told.”
“Because he didn’t believe what he was told.”
“Exactly: well, when you told Dad about it what did he say?”
“Exactly: so, when you told Dad about it, what did he say?”
“Dad told me that really St Thomas was the only sensible man in the whole crowd of Apostles. That is,” added Frankie, correcting himself, “if there ever was such a man at all.”
“Dad told me that St. Thomas was truly the only reasonable guy in the entire group of Apostles. That is,” Frankie added, correcting himself, “if there was ever such a guy at all.”
“But did Dad say that there never was such a man?”
“But did Dad say that there was never such a man?”
“No; he said HE didn’t believe there ever was, but he told me to just listen to what the teacher said about such things, and then to think about it in my own mind, and wait till I’m grown up and then I can use my own judgement.”
“No; he said he didn’t believe there ever was, but he told me to just listen to what the teacher said about those things, think about it in my own mind, and then wait until I’m grown up so I can use my own judgment.”
“Well, now, that’s what YOU were told, but all the other children’s mothers and fathers tell them to believe, without thinking, whatever the teacher says. So it will be no wonder if those children are not able to think for themselves when they’re grown up, will it?”
“Well, now, that’s what YOU were told, but all the other kids’ parents tell them to believe, without questioning, whatever the teacher says. So it’s no surprise if those kids can’t think for themselves when they’re adults, right?”
“Don’t you think it will be any use, then, for me to tell them what to do to the Idlers?” asked Frankie, dejectedly.
“Don’t you think it’ll be any use for me to tell them what to do about the Idlers?” Frankie asked, feeling down.
“Hark!” said his mother, holding up her finger.
“Listen!” said his mother, holding up her finger.
“Dad!” cried Frankie, rushing to the door and flinging it open. He ran along the passage and opened the staircase door before Owen reached the top of the last flight of stairs.
“Dad!” shouted Frankie, sprinting to the door and throwing it open. He dashed down the hallway and opened the staircase door just before Owen got to the top of the last flight of stairs.
“Why ever do you come up at such a rate,” reproachfully exclaimed Owen’s wife as he came into the room exhausted from the climb upstairs and sank panting into the nearest chair.
“Why do you come in at such a pace?” Owen’s wife said reproachfully as he entered the room, worn out from the climb upstairs, and sank, panting, into the nearest chair.
“I al-ways-for-get,” he replied, when he had in some degree recovered. As he lay back in the chair, his face haggard and of a ghastly whiteness, and with the water dripping from his saturated clothing, Owen presented a terrible appearance.
“I always forget,” he replied, after he had somewhat recovered. As he leaned back in the chair, his face was drawn and pale, with water dripping from his soaked clothes, Owen looked terrifying.
Frankie noticed with childish terror the extreme alarm with which his mother looked at his father.
Frankie noticed with childlike fear the intense worry in his mother’s gaze as she looked at his father.
“You’re always doing it,” he said with a whimper. “How many more times will Mother have to tell you about it before you take any notice?”
“You're always doing this,” he said with a whimper. “How many more times will Mom have to tell you about it before you pay attention?”
“It’s all right, old chap,” said Owen, drawing the child nearer to him and kissing the curly head. “Listen, and see if you can guess what I’ve got for you under my coat.”
“It’s okay, buddy,” said Owen, pulling the child closer and kissing his curly head. “Listen, and see if you can guess what I have for you under my coat.”
In the silence the purring of the kitten was distinctly audible.
In the quiet, the kitten's purring was clearly audible.
“A kitten!” cried the boy, taking it out of its hiding-place. “All black, and I believe it’s half a Persian. Just the very thing I wanted.”
“A kitten!” the boy exclaimed, pulling it out of its hiding spot. “All black, and I think it’s half Persian. Exactly what I wanted.”
While Frankie amused himself playing with the kitten, which had been provided with another saucer of bread and milk, Owen went into the bedroom to put on the dry clothes, and then, those that he had taken off having been placed with his boots near the fire to dry, he explained as they were taking tea the reason of his late homecoming.
While Frankie entertained himself playing with the kitten, which had been given another saucer of bread and milk, Owen went into the bedroom to put on his dry clothes. Once he changed, leaving his wet ones and boots by the fire to dry, he explained the reason for his late return home as they were having tea.
“I’m afraid he won’t find it very easy to get another job,” he remarked, referring to Linden. “Even in the summer nobody will be inclined to take him on. He’s too old.”
“I’m afraid he won’t have an easy time finding another job,” he said, referring to Linden. “Even in the summer, no one will want to hire him. He’s too old.”
“It’s a dreadful prospect for the two children,” answered his wife.
“It’s a terrible situation for the two kids,” replied his wife.
“Yes,” replied Owen bitterly. “It’s the children who will suffer most. As for Linden and his wife, although of course one can’t help feeling sorry for them, at the same time there’s no getting away from the fact that they deserve to suffer. All their lives they’ve been working like brutes and living in poverty. Although they have done more than their fair share of the work, they have never enjoyed anything like a fair share of the things they have helped to produce. And yet, all their lives they have supported and defended the system that robbed them, and have resisted and ridiculed every proposal to alter it. It’s wrong to feel sorry for such people; they deserve to suffer.”
“Yes,” Owen replied bitterly. “It’s the kids who will suffer the most. As for Linden and his wife, while it’s hard not to feel sorry for them, the truth is they deserve to suffer. They’ve worked their entire lives like animals and lived in poverty. Even though they’ve done more than their fair share of the work, they’ve never really enjoyed a fair share of what they helped create. Yet, all their lives they’ve supported and defended the system that cheated them and laughed at any suggestions to change it. It’s not right to feel sorry for people like them; they deserve to suffer.”
After tea, as he watched his wife clearing away the tea things and rearranging the drying clothing by the fire, Owen for the first time noticed that she looked unusually ill.
After tea, as he watched his wife cleaning up the tea things and rearranging the drying clothes by the fire, Owen noticed for the first time that she seemed unusually unwell.
“You don’t look well tonight, Nora,” he said, crossing over to her and putting his arm around her.
“You don’t look good tonight, Nora,” he said, walking over to her and putting his arm around her.
“I don’t feel well,” she replied, resting her head wearily against his shoulder. “I’ve been very bad all day and I had to lie down nearly all the afternoon. I don’t know how I should have managed to get the tea ready if it had not been for Frankie.”
“I don’t feel well,” she said, leaning her head tiredly against his shoulder. “I’ve been feeling really bad all day, and I had to lie down for almost the whole afternoon. I don’t know how I would have managed to make the tea if it hadn’t been for Frankie.”
“I set the table for you, didn’t I, Mum?” said Frankie with pride; “and tidied up the room as well.”
“I set the table for you, didn’t I, Mom?” said Frankie proudly; “and I cleaned up the room, too.”
“Yes, darling, you helped me a lot,” she answered, and Frankie went over to her and kissed her hand.
“Yes, sweetheart, you really helped me,” she replied, and Frankie walked over to her and kissed her hand.
“Well, you’d better go to bed at once,” said Owen. “I can put Frankie to bed presently and do whatever else is necessary.”
“Well, you should go to bed right now,” said Owen. “I can put Frankie to bed soon and take care of anything else that needs doing.”
“But there are so many things to attend to. I want to see that your clothes are properly dry and to put something ready for you to take in the morning before you go out, and then there’s your breakfast to pack up—”
“But there are so many things to take care of. I want to make sure your clothes are properly dry and to get something ready for you to grab in the morning before you head out, and then there’s your breakfast to pack up—”
“I can manage all that.”
"I got this."
“I didn’t want to give way to it like this,” the woman said, “because I know you must be tired out yourself, but I really do feel quite done up now.”
“I didn’t want to give in like this,” the woman said, “because I know you must be pretty worn out too, but I honestly feel completely exhausted now.”
“Oh, I’m all right,” replied Owen, who was really so fatigued that he was scarcely able to stand. “I’ll go and draw the blinds down and light the other lamp; so say good night to Frankie and come at once.”
“Oh, I’m fine,” replied Owen, who was actually so tired that he could hardly stand. “I’ll go pull down the blinds and turn on the other lamp; so say good night to Frankie and come right back.”
“I won’t say good night properly, now, Mum,” remarked the boy, “because Dad can carry me into your room before he puts me into bed.”
“I won't say good night properly now, Mom,” the boy said, “because Dad can carry me into your room before he puts me to bed.”
A little later, as Owen was undressing Frankie, the latter remarked as he looked affectionately at the kitten, which was sitting on the hearthrug watching the child’s every movement under the impression that it was part of some game:
A little later, as Owen was taking Frankie’s clothes off, Frankie said, looking affectionately at the kitten, which was sitting on the rug and watching the child's every move, thinking it was part of some game:
“What name do you think we ought to call it, Dad?”
“What do you think we should name it, Dad?”
“You may give him any name you like,” replied Owen, absently.
“You can call him whatever name you want,” replied Owen, distractedly.
“I know a dog that lives down the road,” said the boy, “his name is Major. How would that do? Or we might call him Sergeant.”
“I know a dog that lives down the road,” said the boy, “his name is Major. How does that sound? Or we could call him Sergeant.”
The kitten, observing that he was the subject of their conversation, purred loudly and winked as if to intimate that he did not care what rank was conferred upon him so long as the commisariat department was properly attended to.
The kitten, noticing that he was the topic of their discussion, purred loudly and winked as if to say that he didn’t care what title he was given as long as the food supplies were well taken care of.
“I don’t know, though,” continued Frankie, thoughtfully. “They’re all right names for dogs, but I think they’re too big for a kitten, don’t you, Dad?”
“I don’t know, though,” Frankie continued, thoughtfully. “They’re all good names for dogs, but I think they’re too big for a kitten, don’t you, Dad?”
“Yes, p’raps they are,” said Owen.
“Yes, maybe they are,” said Owen.
“Most cats are called Tom or Kitty, but I don’t want a COMMON name for him.”
“Most cats are named Tom or Kitty, but I don’t want a COMMON name for him.”
“Well, can’t you call him after someone you know?”
“Well, can’t you just call him after someone you know?”
“I know; I’ll call him after a little girl that comes to our school; a fine name, Maud! That’ll be a good one, won’t it Dad?”
“I know; I’ll name him after a girl from our school; a nice name, Maud! That’ll be a good one, right Dad?”
“Yes,” said Owen.
“Yes,” Owen said.
“I say, Dad,” said Frankie, suddenly realizing the awful fact that he was being put to bed. “You’re forgetting all about my story, and you promised that you’d have a game of trains with me tonight.”
“I say, Dad,” Frankie said, suddenly realizing the awful truth that he was being put to bed. “You’re forgetting all about my story, and you promised that you’d play trains with me tonight.”
“I hadn’t forgotten, but I was hoping that you had, because I’m very tired and it’s very late, long past your usual bedtime, you know. You can take the kitten to bed with you tonight and I’ll tell you two stories tomorrow, because it’s Saturday.”
“I hadn’t forgotten, but I was hoping you had, because I’m really tired and it’s super late, way past your usual bedtime, you know. You can take the kitten to bed with you tonight and I’ll tell you two stories tomorrow since it’s Saturday.”
“All right, then,” said the boy, contentedly; “and I’ll get the railway station built and I’ll have the lines chalked on the floor, and the signals put up before you come home, so that there’ll be no time wasted. And I’ll put one chair at one end of the room and another chair at the other end, and tie some string across for telegraph wires. That’ll be a very good idea, won’t it, Dad?” and Owen agreed.
"Okay, then," the boy said happily, "I'll build the train station and chalk the tracks on the floor, and set up the signals before you get home, so there won't be any time wasted. I'll place one chair at one end of the room and another chair at the other end, and I'll tie some string across for telegraph wires. That's a great idea, right, Dad?" Owen agreed.
“But of course I’ll come to meet you just the same as other Saturdays, because I’m going to buy a ha’porth of milk for the kitten out of my penny.”
“But of course I’ll come to meet you just like other Saturdays, because I’m going to buy a half-penny worth of milk for the kitten out of my penny.”
After the child was in bed, Owen sat alone by the table in the draughty sitting-room, thinking. Although there was a bright fire, the room was very cold, being so close to the roof. The wind roared loudly round the gables, shaking the house in a way that threatened every moment to hurl it to the ground. The lamp on the table had a green glass reservoir which was half full of oil. Owen watched this with unconscious fascination. Every time a gust of wind struck the house the oil in the lamp was agitated and rippled against the glass like the waves of a miniature sea. Staring abstractedly at the lamp, he thought of the future.
After the child went to bed, Owen sat by himself at the table in the chilly living room, lost in thought. Even with a bright fire, the room was really cold because it was so close to the roof. The wind howled loudly around the corners, shaking the house in a way that threatened to knock it down at any moment. The lamp on the table had a green glass reservoir that was half full of oil. Owen watched it with a kind of unconscious fascination. Every time a gust of wind hit the house, the oil in the lamp rippled against the glass like the waves of a tiny sea. Staring blankly at the lamp, he thought about the future.
A few years ago the future had seemed a region of wonderful and mysterious possibilities of good, but tonight the thought brought no such illusions, for he knew that the story of the future was to be much the same as the story of the past.
A few years ago, the future felt like a place full of amazing and mysterious opportunities for good, but tonight that thought offered no such illusions, as he realized that the story of the future would be very much like the story of the past.
The story of the past would continue to repeat itself for a few years longer. He would continue to work and they would all three continue to do without most of the necessaries of life. When there was no work they would starve.
The story of the past would keep repeating itself for a few more years. He would keep working, and all three of them would keep doing without most of life's necessities. When there was no work, they would go hungry.
For himself he did not care much because he knew that at the best—or worst—it would only be a very few years. Even if he were to have proper food and clothing and be able to take reasonable care of himself, he could not live much longer; but when that time came, what was to become of THEM?
For himself, he didn't care much because he knew that at best—or worst—it would only be a few more years. Even if he had proper food and clothing and could take decent care of himself, he couldn't live much longer; but when that time came, what would happen to THEM?
There would be some hope for the boy if he were more robust and if his character were less gentle and more selfish. Under the present system it was impossible for anyone to succeed in life without injuring other people and treating them and making use of them as one would not like to be treated and made use of oneself.
There might be some hope for the boy if he were stronger and if his character were less kind and more self-centered. In the current system, it's impossible for anyone to succeed in life without hurting others and treating them in ways that you wouldn't want to be treated yourself.
In order to succeed in the world it was necessary to be brutal, selfish and unfeeling: to push others aside and to take advantage of their misfortunes: to undersell and crush out one’s competitors by fair means or foul: to consider one’s own interests first in every case, absolutely regardless of the wellbeing of others.
To succeed in the world, you had to be ruthless, self-centered, and heartless: to push others out of the way and take advantage of their misfortunes: to undercut and eliminate competitors by any means necessary: to prioritize your own interests in every situation, completely ignoring the wellbeing of others.
That was the ideal character. Owen knew that Frankie’s character did not come up to this lofty ideal. Then there was Nora, how would she fare?
That was the perfect character. Owen knew that Frankie’s character didn’t match this high standard. Then there was Nora; how would she do?
Owen stood up and began walking about the room, oppressed with a kind of terror. Presently he returned to the fire and began rearranging the clothes that were drying. He found that the boots, having been placed too near the fire, had dried too quickly and consequently the sole of one of them had begun to split away from the upper: he remedied this as well as he was able and then turned the wetter parts of the clothing to the fire. Whilst doing this he noticed the newspaper, which he had forgotten, in the coat pocket. He drew it out with an exclamation of pleasure. Here was something to distract his thoughts: if not instructive or comforting, it would at any rate be interesting and even amusing to read the reports of the self-satisfied, futile talk of the profound statesmen who with comical gravity presided over the working of the Great System which their combined wisdom pronounced to be the best that could possibly be devised. But tonight Owen was not to read of those things, for as soon as he opened the paper his attention was riveted by the staring headline of one of the principal columns:
Owen stood up and started walking around the room, feeling a sense of dread. Soon, he went back to the fire and started rearranging the clothes that were drying. He noticed that the boots, having been placed too close to the fire, dried too fast, causing the sole of one of them to begin separating from the upper part. He fixed it as best as he could and then turned the wetter parts of the clothing towards the fire. While doing this, he remembered the newspaper he had forgotten in the coat pocket. He pulled it out with a pleased exclamation. This was something to take his mind off things: if it wasn't educational or comforting, at least it would be interesting and even entertaining to read the reports of the smug, pointless discussions from the serious politicians who humorously and seriously managed the Great System that they all claimed was the best possible arrangement. But tonight, Owen wouldn't be reading about those matters, because as soon as he opened the paper, his attention was drawn to the glaring headline of one of the main columns:
TERRIBLE DOMESTIC TRAGEDY
Wife And Two Children Killed
Suicide of the Murderer
It was one of the ordinary poverty crimes. The man had been without employment for many weeks and they had been living by pawning or selling their furniture and other possessions. But even this resource must have failed at last, and when one day the neighbours noticed that the blinds remained down and that there was a strange silence about the house, no one coming out or going in, suspicions that something was wrong were quickly aroused. When the police entered the house, they found, in one of the upper rooms, the dead bodies of the woman and the two children, with their throats severed, laid out side by side upon the bed, which was saturated with their blood.
It was just another case of desperate crime due to poverty. The man had been out of work for weeks, and they had been surviving by pawning and selling their furniture and other belongings. But even that option must have run out eventually, and when the neighbors noticed that the blinds stayed down and a strange silence hung around the house, with no one coming or going, suspicions quickly arose that something was wrong. When the police entered the house, they found, in one of the upstairs rooms, the dead bodies of the woman and her two children, their throats cut, laid out side by side on the bed, which was soaked in their blood.
There was no bedstead and no furniture in the room except the straw mattress and the ragged clothes and blankets which formed the bed upon the floor.
There was no bed frame and no furniture in the room except for the straw mattress and the worn clothes and blankets that made up the bed on the floor.
The man’s body was found in the kitchen, lying with outstretched arms face downwards on the floor, surrounded by the blood that had poured from the wound in his throat which had evidently been inflicted by the razor that was grasped in his right hand.
The man's body was discovered in the kitchen, lying face down on the floor with his arms outstretched, surrounded by the blood that had flowed from the wound in his throat, clearly inflicted by the razor he was holding in his right hand.
No particle of food was found in the house, and on a nail in the wall in the kitchen was hung a piece of blood-smeared paper on which was written in pencil:
No food was found in the house, and on a nail in the wall of the kitchen was a piece of blood-stained paper, on which was written in pencil:
“This is not my crime, but society’s.”
“This isn’t my crime, but society’s.”
The report went on to explain that the deed must have been perpetrated during a fit of temporary insanity brought on by the sufferings the man had endured.
The report continued to explain that the act must have been committed during a moment of temporary insanity triggered by the hardships the man had faced.
“Insanity!” muttered Owen, as he read this glib theory. “Insanity! It seems to me that he would have been insane if he had NOT killed them.”
“Insanity!” muttered Owen as he read this smooth theory. “Insanity! It seems to me he would have been insane if he hadn’t killed them.”
Surely it was wiser and better and kinder to send them all to sleep, than to let them continue to suffer.
Surely it was smarter, better, and kinder to put them all to sleep than to let them keep suffering.
At the same time he thought it very strange that the man should have chosen to do it that way, when there were so many other cleaner, easier and more painless ways of accomplishing the same object. He wondered why it was that most of these killings were done in more or less the same crude, cruel messy way. No; HE would set about it in a different fashion. He would get some charcoal, then he would paste strips of paper over the joinings of the door and windows of the room and close the register of the grate. Then he would kindle the charcoal on a tray or something in the middle of the room, and then they would all three just lie down together and sleep; and that would be the end of everything. There would be no pain, no blood, and no mess.
At the same time, he found it very strange that the man decided to do it that way when there were so many cleaner, easier, and less painful methods to achieve the same goal. He wondered why most of these killings were carried out in a similarly crude, cruel, and messy manner. No; he would take a different approach. He would get some charcoal, then he would tape strips of paper over the seams of the door and windows in the room and close the register of the fireplace. Then he would ignite the charcoal on a tray or something in the middle of the room, and they would all three just lie down together and sleep; and that would be the end of everything. There would be no pain, no blood, and no mess.
Or one could take poison. Of course, there was a certain amount of difficulty in procuring it, but it would not be impossible to find some pretext for buying some laudanum: one could buy several small quantities at different shops until one had sufficient. Then he remembered that he had read somewhere that vermillion, one of the colours he frequently had to use in his work, was one of the most deadly poisons: and there was some other stuff that photographers used, which was very easy to procure. Of course, one would have to be very careful about poisons, so as not to select one that would cause a lot of pain. It would be necessary to find out exactly how the stuff acted before using it. It would not be very difficult to do so. Then he remembered that among his books was one that probably contained some information about this subject. He went over to the book-shelf and presently found the volume; it was called The Cyclopedia of Practical Medicine, rather an old book, a little out of date, perhaps, but still it might contain the information he wanted. Opening it, he turned to the table of contents. Many different subjects were mentioned there and presently he found the one he sought:
Or one could take poison. Sure, getting it might be a bit tricky, but it wouldn’t be impossible to come up with a reason to buy some laudanum: one could purchase several small amounts at different stores until there was enough. Then he remembered reading somewhere that vermillion, one of the colors he often used in his work, was one of the most lethal poisons. There was also some other substance that photographers used, which was really easy to find. Of course, you’d have to be careful with poisons to ensure you didn’t pick one that would cause a lot of pain. It would be important to figure out exactly how the stuff worked before using it. That wouldn’t be too hard to do. Then he recalled that among his books was one that probably had information on this topic. He walked over to the bookshelf and soon found the book; it was called The Cyclopedia of Practical Medicine, an older book, maybe a bit outdated, but it might still have the information he needed. Opening it, he flipped to the table of contents. There were many different topics listed, and eventually, he found the one he was looking for:
Poisons: chemically, physiologically and
pathologically considered.
Corrosive Poisons.
Narcotic Poisons.
Slow Poisons.
Consecutive Poisons.
Accumulative Poisons.
Poisons: chemically, physiologically and
pathologically considered.
Corrosive Poisons.
Narcotic Poisons.
Slow Poisons.
Consecutive Poisons.
Accumulative Poisons.
He turned to the chapter indicated and, reading it, he was astonished to find what a number of poisons there were within easy reach of whoever wished to make use of them: poisons that could be relied upon to do their work certainly, quickly and without pain. Why, it was not even necessary to buy them: one could gather them from the hedges by the road side and in the fields.
He turned to the chapter indicated and, upon reading it, he was amazed to discover how many poisons were readily available to anyone who wanted to use them: poisons that could be trusted to get the job done quickly, effectively, and without any pain. In fact, it wasn’t even necessary to purchase them; one could collect them from the bushes along the roadside and in the fields.
The more he thought of it the stranger it seemed that such a clumsy method as a razor should be so popular. Why almost any other way would be better and easier than that. Strangulation or even hanging, though the latter method could scarcely be adopted in that house, because there were no beams or rafters or anything from which it would be possible to suspend a cord. Still, he could drive some large nails or hooks into one of the walls. For that matter, there were already some clothes-hooks on some of the doors. He began to think that this would be an even more excellent way than poison or charcoal; he could easily pretend to Frankie that he was going to show him some new kind of play.
The more he thought about it, the weirder it seemed that such a clumsy method as a razor was so popular. Almost any other way would be easier and better than that. Strangulation or even hanging, though the latter option would be hard to pull off in that house because there were no beams or rafters or anything to hang a cord from. Still, he could drive some large nails or hooks into one of the walls. In fact, there were already some clothes hooks on some of the doors. He started to think that this could be an even better way than poison or charcoal; he could easily convince Frankie that he was going to show him some new kind of game.
He could arrange the cord on the hook on one of the doors and then under pretence of play, it would be done. The boy would offer no resistance, and in a few minutes it would all be over.
He could hang the cord on the hook on one of the doors and then, pretending it was just a game, it would all get done. The boy wouldn't resist at all, and in a few minutes, it would all be finished.
He threw down the book and pressed his hands over his ears: he fancied he could hear the boy’s hands and feet beating against the panels of the door as he struggled in his death agony.
He tossed the book aside and covered his ears: he imagined he could hear the boy's hands and feet pounding against the door as he struggled in his final moments.
Then, as his arms fell nervelessly by his side again, he thought that he heard Frankie’s voice calling.
Then, as his arms fell weakly by his side again, he thought he heard Frankie’s voice calling.
“Dad! Dad!”
“Dad! Dad!”
Owen hastily opened the door.
Owen quickly opened the door.
“Are you calling, Frankie?”
“Are you calling, Frankie?”
“Yes. I’ve been calling you quite a long time.”
“Yes. I’ve been trying to reach you for a while.”
“What do you want?”
"What do you need?"
“I want you to come here. I want to tell you something.”
“I want you to come over. I need to tell you something.”
“Well, what is it dear? I thought you were asleep a long time ago,” said Owen as he came into the room.
“Well, what is it, dear? I thought you were asleep ages ago,” said Owen as he walked into the room.
“That’s just what I want to speak to you about: the kitten’s gone to sleep all right, but I can’t go. I’ve tried all different ways, counting and all, but it’s no use, so I thought I’d ask you if you’d mind coming and staying with me, and letting me hold your hand for a little while and then p’raps I could go.”
“That’s exactly what I want to talk to you about: the kitten is asleep, but I can’t leave. I’ve tried everything, counting and all, but nothing works. So I thought I’d ask if you’d mind coming and staying with me, and letting me hold your hand for a bit, and maybe then I could go.”
The boy twined his arms round Owen’s neck and hugged him very tightly.
The boy wrapped his arms around Owen's neck and hugged him tightly.
“Oh, Dad, I love you so much!” he said. “I love you so much, I could squeeze you to death.”
“Oh, Dad, I love you so much!” he said. “I love you so much, I could hug you to death.”
“I’m afraid you will, if you squeeze me so tightly as that.”
“I’m worried you will if you hold me that tightly.”
The boy laughed softly as he relaxed his hold. “That WOULD be a funny way of showing you how much I love you, wouldn’t it, Dad? Squeezing you to death!”
The boy chuckled quietly as he loosened his grip. “That WOULD be a hilarious way to show you how much I love you, right, Dad? Squeezing you to death!”
“Yes, I suppose it would,” replied Owen huskily, as he tucked the bedclothes round the child’s shoulders. “But don’t talk any more, dear; just hold my hand and try to sleep.”
“Yes, I guess it would,” Owen said softly, as he wrapped the blankets around the child’s shoulders. “But don’t say anything else, sweetie; just hold my hand and try to sleep.”
“All right,” said Frankie.
“Alright,” said Frankie.
Lying there very quietly, holding his father’s hand and occasionally kissing it, the child presently fell asleep. Then Owen got up very gently and, having taken the kitten out of the bed again and arranged the bedclothes, he softly kissed the boy’s forehead and returned to the other room.
Lying there quietly, holding his dad's hand and occasionally kissing it, the child soon fell asleep. Then Owen got up gently, took the kitten out of the bed again, and straightened the covers. He softly kissed the boy's forehead and went back to the other room.
Looking about for a suitable place for the kitten to sleep in, he noticed Frankie’s toy box, and having emptied the toys on to the floor in a corner of the room, he made a bed in the box with some rags and placed it on its side on the hearthrug, facing the fire, and with some difficulty persuaded the kitten to lie in it. Then, having placed the chairs on which his clothes were drying at a safe distance from the fire, he went into the bedroom. Nora was still awake.
Looking around for a good spot for the kitten to sleep, he noticed Frankie’s toy box. After dumping the toys onto the floor in a corner of the room, he created a bed in the box with some rags and set it on its side on the hearthrug, facing the fire. With some effort, he convinced the kitten to lie down in it. Then, after moving the chairs with his drying clothes farther away from the fire, he went into the bedroom. Nora was still awake.
“Are you feeling any better, dear?” he said.
“Are you feeling any better, sweetheart?” he said.
“Yes, I’m ever so much better since I’ve been in bed, but I can’t help worrying about your clothes. I’m afraid they’ll never be dry enough for you to put on the first thing in the morning. Couldn’t you stay at home till after breakfast, just for once?”
“Yes, I feel so much better since I've been in bed, but I can't stop worrying about your clothes. I'm afraid they won't be dry enough for you to wear first thing in the morning. Couldn't you stay home until after breakfast, just this once?”
“No; I mustn’t do that. If I did Hunter would probably tell me to stay away altogether. I believe he would be glad of an excuse to get rid of another full-price man just now.”
“No; I shouldn’t do that. If I did, Hunter would probably tell me to stay away completely. I think he’d be happy to have an excuse to get rid of another full-price guy right now.”
“But if it’s raining like this in the morning, you’ll be wet through before you get there.”
“But if it’s raining like this in the morning, you’ll be soaked by the time you arrive.”
“It’s no good worrying about that dear: besides, I can wear this old coat that I have on now, over the other.”
“It’s no use worrying about that, dear: besides, I can just wear this old coat I have on now over the other one.”
“And if you wrap your old shoes in some paper, and take them with you, you can take off your wet boots as soon as you get to the place.”
“And if you wrap your old shoes in some paper and bring them with you, you can take off your wet boots as soon as you arrive.”
“Yes, all right,” responded Owen. “Besides,” he added, reassuringly, “even if I do get a little wet, we always have a fire there, you know.”
“Yes, okay,” Owen replied. “Besides,” he added, trying to reassure, “even if I get a little wet, we’ll always have a fire there, you know.”
“Well, I hope the weather will be a little better than this in the morning,” said Nora. “Isn’t it a dreadful night! I keep feeling afraid that the house is going to be blown down.”
“Well, I hope the weather is a bit better than this in the morning,” said Nora. “Isn’t it a terrible night! I keep feeling scared that the house is going to be blown down.”
Long after Nora was asleep, Owen lay listening to the howling of the wind and the noise of the rain as it poured heavily on the roof...
Long after Nora had fallen asleep, Owen lay there listening to the wind howling and the rain pouring heavily on the roof...
Chapter 7
The Exterminating Machines
“Come on, Saturday!” shouted Philpot, just after seven o’clock one Monday morning as they were getting ready to commence work.
“Come on, Saturday!” shouted Philpot, just after seven o’clock on a Monday morning as they were getting ready to start work.
It was still dark outside, but the scullery was dimly illuminated by the flickering light of two candles which Crass had lighted and stuck on the shelf over the fireplace in order to enable him to see to serve out the different lots of paints and brushes to the men.
It was still dark outside, but the kitchen was softly lit by the flickering light of two candles that Crass had lit and placed on the shelf above the fireplace so he could see to hand out the various lots of paints and brushes to the workers.
“Yes, it do seem a ’ell of a long week, don’t it?” remarked Harlow as he hung his overcoat on a nail and proceeded to put on his apron and blouse. “I’ve ’ad bloody near enough of it already.”
“Yes, it does seem like a really long week, doesn’t it?” Harlow said as he hung his overcoat on a nail and started putting on his apron and blouse. “I’ve had just about enough of it already.”
“Wish to Christ it was breakfast-time,” growled the more easily satisfied Easton.
“Wish to God it was breakfast-time,” grumbled the more easily satisfied Easton.
Extraordinary as it may appear, none of them took any pride in their work: they did not “love” it. They had no conception of that lofty ideal of “work for work’s sake”, which is so popular with the people who do nothing. On the contrary, when the workers arrived in the morning they wished it was breakfast-time. When they resumed work after breakfast they wished it was dinner-time. After dinner they wished it was one o’clock on Saturday.
As surprising as it seems, none of them took any pride in what they did: they didn’t “love” it. They had no understanding of that high-minded idea of “work for work’s sake,” which is so favored by people who don’t do anything. Instead, when the workers showed up in the morning, they wished it was breakfast time. When they got back to work after breakfast, they wished it was time for lunch. After lunch, they wished it was one o’clock on Saturday.
So they went on, day after day, year after year, wishing their time was over and, without realizing it, really wishing that they were dead.
So they continued on, day after day, year after year, wishing their time would end and, without even realizing it, truly wishing they were dead.
How extraordinary this must appear to those idealists who believe in “work for work’s sake”, but who themselves do nothing but devour or use and enjoy or waste the things that are produced by the labour of those others who are not themselves permitted to enjoy a fair share of the good things they help to create?
How extraordinary this must seem to those idealists who believe in "work for work's sake," but who themselves do nothing but consume, use, enjoy, or waste the things produced by the labor of others who aren’t allowed to enjoy a fair share of the good things they help create?
Crass poured several lots of colour into several pots.
Crass poured a bunch of colors into several pots.
“Harlow,” he said, “you and Sawkins, when he comes, can go up and do the top bedrooms out with this colour. You’ll find a couple of candles up there. It’s only goin’ to ’ave one coat, so see that you make it cover all right, and just look after Sawkins a bit so as ’e doesn’t make a bloody mess of it. You do the doors and windows, and let ’im do the cupboards and skirtings.”
“Harlow,” he said, “you and Sawkins, when he arrives, can go upstairs and paint the top bedrooms with this color. You’ll find a couple of candles up there. It’s only going to need one coat, so make sure it covers well, and keep an eye on Sawkins a bit so he doesn’t make a mess of it. You do the doors and windows, and let him take care of the cupboards and skirting boards.”
“That’s a bit of all right, I must say,” Harlow said, addressing the company generally. “We’ve got to teach a b—r like ’im so as ’e can do us out of a job presently by working under price.”
“That’s pretty good, I have to say,” Harlow said, speaking to everyone. “We need to teach a guy like him so he can take our jobs by underpricing us.”
“Well, I can’t ’elp it,” growled Crass. “You know ’ow it is: ’Unter sends ’im ’ere to do paintin’, and I’ve got to put ’im on it. There ain’t nothing else for ’im to do.”
“Well, I can’t help it,” growled Crass. “You know how it is: Hunter sends him here to do painting, and I’ve got to assign him to it. There’s nothing else for him to do.”
Further discussion on this subject was prevented by Sawkins’ arrival, nearly a quarter of an hour late.
Further discussion on this topic was interrupted by Sawkins’ arrival, nearly fifteen minutes late.
“Oh, you ’ave come, then,” sneered Crass. “Thought p’raps you’d gorn for a ’oliday.”
“Oh, you’ve shown up, then,” sneered Crass. “Thought maybe you’d gone on vacation.”
Sawkins muttered something about oversleeping himself, and having hastily put on his apron, he went upstairs with Harlow.
Sawkins mumbled something about sleeping in, and after quickly putting on his apron, he went upstairs with Harlow.
“Now, let’s see,” Crass said, addressing Philpot. “You and Newman ’ad better go and make a start on the second floor: this is the colour, and ’ere’s a couple of candles. You’d better not both go in one room or ’Unter will growl about it. You take one of the front and let Newman take one of the back rooms. Take a bit of stoppin’ with you: they’re goin’ to ’ave two coats, but you’d better putty up the ’oles as well as you can, this time.”
“Alright, let’s see,” Crass said to Philpot. “You and Newman should head up to the second floor and get started: this is the color, and here are a couple of candles. You both shouldn’t work in the same room or Hunter will complain about it. You take one of the front rooms and let Newman take one of the back rooms. Bring some stoppings with you: they’re going to need two coats, but you should also fill in the holes as best you can this time.”
“Only two coats!” said Philpot. “Them rooms will never look nothing with two coats—a light colour like this.”
“Only two coats!” said Philpot. “Those rooms will never look right with just two coats—especially a light color like this.”
“It’s only goin’ to get two, anyway,” returned Crass, testily. “’Unter said so, so you’ll ’ave to do the best you can with ’em, and get ’em smeared over middlin’ sudden, too.”
“It’s only going to get two, anyway,” Crass replied irritably. “‘Unter said so, so you’ll have to do the best you can with them, and get them spread out pretty quickly, too.”
Crass did not think it necessary to mention that according to the copy of the specification of the work which he had in his pocket the rooms in question were supposed to have four coats.
Crass didn't think it was important to point out that, according to the copy of the work specifications he had in his pocket, the rooms in question were supposed to have four coats.
Crass now turned to Owen.
Crass now looked at Owen.
“There’s that drorin’-room,” he said. “I don’t know what’s goin’ to be done with that yet. I don’t think they’ve decided about it. Whatever’s to be done to it will be an extra, because all that’s said about it in the contract is to face it up with putty and give it one coat of white. So you and Easton ’ad better get on with it.”
“There's that drawing room,” he said. “I don't know what's going to be done with it yet. I don't think they've made a decision about it. Whatever is going to be done will be extra, because all that's mentioned in the contract is to fill it in with putty and give it one coat of white. So you and Easton had better get on with it.”
Slyme was busy softening some putty by rubbing and squeezing it between his hands.
Slyme was busy softening some putty by working it between his hands.
“I suppose I’d better finish the room I started on on Saturday?” he asked.
“I guess I should finish the room I started on Saturday?” he asked.
“All right,” replied Crass. “Have you got enough colour?”
“All right,” Crass replied. “Do you have enough color?”
“Yes,” said Slyme.
“Yeah,” said Slyme.
As he passed through the kitchen on the way to his work, Slyme accosted Bert, the boy, who was engaged in lighting, with some pieces of wood, a fire to boil the water to make the tea for breakfast at eight o’clock.
As he walked through the kitchen on his way to work, Slyme approached Bert, the boy, who was busy trying to light a fire with some pieces of wood to boil water for making tea for breakfast at eight o’clock.
“There’s a bloater I want’s cooked,” he said.
"There’s a bloater I want cooked," he said.
“All right,” replied Bert. “Put it over there on the dresser along of Philpot’s and mine.”
“All right,” Bert said. “Put it over there on the dresser next to Philpot’s and mine.”
Slyme took the bloater from his food basket, but as he was about to put it in the place indicated, he observed that his was rather a larger one than either of the other two. This was an important matter. After they were cooked it would not be easy to say which was which: he might possibly be given one of the smaller ones instead of his own. He took out his pocket knife and cut off the tail of the large bloater.
Slyme took the bloater from his food basket, but just as he was about to place it where he was supposed to, he noticed that his was a lot bigger than the other two. This was a big deal. Once they were cooked, it wouldn’t be easy to tell which one was which: he might end up with one of the smaller ones instead of his own. He pulled out his pocket knife and cut off the tail of the large bloater.
“’Ere it is, then,” he said to Bert. “I’ve cut the tail of mine so as you’ll know which it is.”
“Here it is, then,” he said to Bert. “I’ve cut the tail of mine so you’ll know which one it is.”
It was now about twenty minutes past seven and all the other men having been started at work, Crass washed his hands under the tap. Then he went into the kitchen and having rigged up a seat by taking two of the drawers out of the dresser and placing them on the floor about six feet apart and laying a plank across, he sat down in front of the fire, which was now burning brightly under the pail, and, lighting his pipe, began to smoke. The boy went into the scullery and began washing up the cups and jars for the men to drink out of.
It was now about twenty minutes after seven, and with all the other guys already at work, Crass washed his hands at the tap. Then he headed into the kitchen and set up a seat by pulling two drawers out of the dresser, placing them about six feet apart, and laying a plank across them. He sat down in front of the fire, which was now burning brightly under the pail, lit his pipe, and started smoking. The boy went into the scullery to wash the cups and jars for the men to use.
Bert was a lean, undersized boy about fifteen years of age and about four feet nine inches in height. He had light brown hair and hazel grey eyes, and his clothes were of many colours, being thickly encrusted with paint, the result of the unskillful manner in which he did his work, for he had only been at the trade about a year. Some of the men had nicknamed him “the walking paint-shop”, a title which Bert accepted good-humouredly.
Bert was a slim, small boy about fifteen years old and around four feet nine inches tall. He had light brown hair and hazel-gray eyes, and his clothes were a mix of colors, heavily covered in paint due to the clumsy way he worked; he had only been in the trade for about a year. Some of the guys had nicknamed him "the walking paint shop," a name Bert took in stride.
This boy was an orphan. His father had been a railway porter who had worked very laboriously for twelve or fourteen hours every day for many years, with the usual result, namely, that he and his family lived in a condition of perpetual poverty. Bert, who was their only child and not very robust, had early shown a talent for drawing, so when his father died a little over a year ago, his mother readily assented when the boy said that he wished to become a decorator. It was a nice light trade, and she thought that a really good painter, such as she was sure he would become, was at least always able to earn a good living. Resolving to give the boy the best possible chance, she decided if possible to place him at Rushton’s, that being one of the leading firms in the town. At first Mr Rushton demanded ten pounds as a premium, the boy to be bound for five years, no wages the first year, two shillings a week the second, and a rise of one shilling every year for the remainder of the term. Afterwards, as a special favour—a matter of charity, in fact, as she was a very poor woman—he agreed to accept five pounds.
This boy was an orphan. His dad had been a railway porter who worked really hard for twelve or fourteen hours a day for many years, which meant he and his family lived in constant poverty. Bert, their only child and not very strong, had shown a talent for drawing from an early age. So, when his dad died a little over a year ago, his mom easily agreed when Bert said he wanted to become a decorator. It was a nice, light trade, and she believed that a really good painter, which she was sure he would become, could at least earn a decent living. Wanting to give her son the best shot, she decided to try and get him into Rushton’s, which was one of the top firms in town. At first, Mr. Rushton asked for ten pounds as a premium, with Bert committing for five years, no wages the first year, two shillings a week the second, and a shilling raise every year for the rest of the term. Later on, as a special favor—a charitable gesture since she was very poor—he agreed to take five pounds.
This sum represented the thrifty savings of years, but the poor woman parted with it willingly in order that the boy should become a skilled workman. So Bert was apprenticed—bound for five years—to Rushton & Co.
This amount was the result of years of careful saving, but the woman willingly gave it up so the boy could become a skilled worker. So, Bert was apprenticed—committed for five years—to Rushton & Co.
For the first few months his life had been spent in the paint-shop at the yard, a place that was something between a cellar and a stable. There, surrounded by the poisonous pigments and materials of the trade, the youthful artisan worked, generally alone, cleaning the dirty paint-pots brought in by the workmen from finished “jobs” outside, and occasionally mixing paint according to the instructions of Mr Hunter, or one of the sub-foremen.
For the first few months, he spent his life in the paint shop at the yard, a place that was somewhere between a basement and a stable. There, surrounded by the toxic paints and materials of the trade, the young craftsman worked, usually alone, cleaning the dirty paint cans brought in by the workers from completed “jobs” outside, and occasionally mixing paint according to the instructions of Mr. Hunter or one of the sub-foremen.
Sometimes he was sent out to carry materials to the places where the men were working—heavy loads of paint or white lead—sometimes pails of whitewash that his slender arms had been too feeble to carry more than a few yards at a time.
Sometimes he was sent out to bring materials to where the men were working—heavy loads of paint or white lead—sometimes buckets of whitewash that his slender arms were too weak to carry more than a few yards at a time.
Often his fragile, childish figure was seen staggering manfully along, bending beneath the weight of a pair of steps or a heavy plank.
Often, his fragile, childish frame was seen struggling bravely along, bending under the weight of a pair of stairs or a heavy plank.
He could manage a good many parcels at once: some in each hand and some tied together with string and slung over his shoulders. Occasionally, however, there were more than he could carry; then they were put into a handcart which he pushed or dragged after him to the distant jobs.
He could handle quite a few parcels at once: some in each hand and others tied together with string and slung over his shoulders. However, sometimes there were more than he could carry; in those cases, they were loaded into a handcart that he would push or pull behind him to the faraway jobs.
That first winter the boy’s days were chiefly spent in the damp, evil-smelling, stone-flagged paint-shop, without even a fire to warm the clammy atmosphere.
That first winter, the boy mostly spent his days in the damp, foul-smelling, stone-tiled paint shop, with no fire to warm the chilly air.
But in all this he had seen no hardship. With the unconsciousness of boyhood, he worked hard and cheerfully. As time went on, the goal of his childish ambition was reached—he was sent out to work with the men! And he carried the same spirit with him, always doing his best to oblige those with whom he was working.
But in all this, he hadn’t experienced any difficulty. With the innocent mindset of youth, he worked hard and happily. As time passed, he achieved the goal of his childhood dreams—he was sent out to work with the men! And he brought that same attitude along, always trying his best to help those he was working with.
He tried hard to learn, and to be a good boy, and he succeeded, fairly well.
He worked really hard to learn and be a good kid, and he did pretty well.
He soon became a favourite with Owen, for whom he conceived a great respect and affection, for he observed that whenever there was any special work of any kind to be done it was Owen who did it. On such occasions, Bert, in his artful, boyish way, would scheme to be sent to assist Owen, and the latter whenever possible used to ask that the boy might be allowed to work with him.
He quickly became a favorite of Owen, for whom he had a lot of respect and fondness, since he noticed that whenever there was any important task to be done, it was always Owen who took it on. During those times, Bert would, in his clever, playful way, try to get assigned to help Owen, and Owen would often request that the boy be allowed to work with him.
Bert’s regard for Owen was equalled in intensity by his dislike of Crass, who was in the habit of jeering at the boy’s aspirations. “There’ll be plenty of time for you to think about doin’ fancy work after you’ve learnt to do plain painting,” he would say.
Bert’s respect for Owen was matched only by his dislike of Crass, who often mocked the boy’s dreams. “You’ll have plenty of time to think about doing fancy work after you’ve learned how to do basic painting,” he would say.
This morning, when he had finished washing up the cups and mugs, Bert returned with them to the kitchen.
This morning, after he finished washing the cups and mugs, Bert brought them back to the kitchen.
“Now let’s see,” said Crass, thoughtfully, “You’ve put the tea in the pail, I s’pose.”
“Now let’s see,” said Crass, thinking, “I assume you’ve put the tea in the pail.”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“And now you want a job, don’t you?”
“And now you want a job, right?”
“Yes,” replied the boy.
"Yeah," replied the boy.
“Well, get a bucket of water and that old brush and a swab, and go and wash off the old whitewash and colouring orf the pantry ceiling and walls.”
“Well, grab a bucket of water, that old brush, and a mop, and go wash off the old whitewash and paint from the pantry ceiling and walls.”
“All right,” said Bert. When he got as far as the door leading into the scullery he looked round and said:
“All right,” said Bert. When he reached the door leading into the scullery, he looked back and said:
“I’ve got to git them three bloaters cooked by breakfast time.”
“I need to get those three bloaters cooked by breakfast time.”
“Never mind about that,” said Crass. “I’ll do them.”
“Forget about that,” said Crass. “I’ll handle it.”
Bert got the pail and the brush, drew some water from the tap, got a pair of steps and a short plank, one end of which he rested on the bottom shelf of the pantry and the other on the steps, and proceeded to carry out Crass’s instructions.
Bert grabbed the bucket and the brush, filled it with water from the faucet, took a pair of step stools and a small plank, resting one end on the bottom shelf of the pantry and the other on the stools, and started following Crass’s instructions.
It was very cold and damp and miserable in the pantry, and the candle only made it seem more so. Bert shivered: he would like to have put his jacket on, but that was out of the question at a job like this. He lifted the bucket of water on to one of the shelves and, climbing up on to the plank, took the brush from the water and soaked about a square yard of the ceiling; then he began to scrub it with the brush.
It was really cold, damp, and uncomfortable in the pantry, and the candle only made it feel worse. Bert shivered; he would have liked to put on his jacket, but that wasn’t an option for a job like this. He lifted the bucket of water onto one of the shelves and climbed up onto the plank, took the brush from the water, and soaked about a square yard of the ceiling; then he started scrubbing it with the brush.
He was not very skilful yet, and as he scrubbed the water ran down over the stock of the brush, over his hand and down his uplifted arm, wetting the turned-up sleeves of his shirt. When he had scrubbed it sufficiently he rinsed it off as well as he could with the brush, and then, to finish with, he thrust his hand into the pail of water and, taking out the swab, wrung the water out of it and wiped the part of the ceiling that he had washed. Then he dropped it back into the pail, and shook his numbed fingers to restore the circulation. Then he peeped into the kitchen, where Crass was still seated by the fire, smoking and toasting one of the bloaters at the end of a pointed stick. Bert wished he would go upstairs, or anywhere, so that he himself might go and have a warm at the fire.
He wasn't very skilled yet, and as he scrubbed, the water ran down the brush handle, over his hand and down his raised arm, soaking the rolled-up sleeves of his shirt. Once he had scrubbed it enough, he rinsed it off as best he could with the brush, and then, to finish up, he plunged his hand into the bucket of water and, pulling out the mop, wrung out the water and wiped down the part of the ceiling he had cleaned. After that, he tossed it back into the bucket and shook his numb fingers to get the circulation going. Then he peeked into the kitchen, where Crass was still sitting by the fire, smoking and toasting a bloater at the end of a pointed stick. Bert wished he would go upstairs, or anywhere, so he could go and warm himself by the fire.
“’E might just as well ’ave let me do them bloaters,” he muttered to himself, regarding Crass malignantly through the crack of the door. “This is a fine job to give to anybody—a cold mornin’ like this.”
“He might as well have let me do those bloaters,” he muttered to himself, glaring at Crass through the crack of the door. “This is a great job to assign to anyone—on a cold morning like this.”
He shifted the pail of water a little further along the shelf and went on with the work.
He moved the bucket of water a bit further along the shelf and continued with the work.
A little later, Crass, still sitting by the fire, heard footsteps approaching along the passage. He started up guiltily and, thrusting the hand holding his pipe into his apron pocket, retreated hastily into the scullery. He thought it might be Hunter, who was in the habit of turning up at all sorts of unlikely times, but it was only Easton.
A little later, Crass, still sitting by the fire, heard footsteps coming down the hallway. He jumped up, feeling guilty, and quickly shoved the hand holding his pipe into his apron pocket before retreating hurriedly into the scullery. He thought it might be Hunter, who usually showed up at all sorts of random times, but it was just Easton.
“I’ve got a bit of bacon I want the young ’un to toast for me,” he said as Crass came back.
“I’ve got a bit of bacon I want the kid to toast for me,” he said as Crass came back.
“You can do it yourself if you like,” replied Crass affably, looking at his watch. “It’s about ten to eight.”
“You can do it yourself if you want,” Crass replied kindly, glancing at his watch. “It’s almost eight.”
Easton had been working for Rushton & Co. for a fortnight, and had been wise enough to stand Crass a drink on several occasions: he was consequently in that gentleman’s good books for the time being.
Easton had been working for Rushton & Co. for two weeks and had smartly bought Crass a drink a few times. As a result, he was in that guy's good graces for the moment.
“How are you getting on in there?” Crass asked, alluding to the work Easton and Owen were doing in the drawing-room. “You ain’t fell out with your mate yet, I s’pose?”
“How’s it going in there?” Crass asked, referring to the work Easton and Owen were doing in the drawing-room. “You haven't had a falling out with your friend yet, I assume?”
“No; ’e ain’t got much to say this morning; ’is cough’s pretty bad. I can generally manage to get on orl right with anybody, you know,” Easton added.
“No; he doesn’t have much to say this morning; his cough is pretty bad. I can usually get along just fine with anyone, you know,” Easton added.
“Well, so can I as a rule, but I get a bit sick listening to that bloody fool. Accordin’ to ’im, everything’s wrong. One day it’s religion, another it’s politics, and the next it’s something else.”
“Well, I usually can, but I get a little sick of listening to that stupid fool. According to him, everything's wrong. One day it’s religion, another it’s politics, and the next it’s something else.”
“Yes, it is a bit thick; too much of it,” agreed Easton, “but I don’t take no notice of the bloody fool: that’s the best way.”
“Yeah, it’s a bit much; too much of it,” Easton agreed, “but I don’t pay any attention to the idiot: that’s the best approach.”
“Of course, we know that things is a bit bad just now,” Crass went on, “but if the likes of ’im could ’ave their own way they’d make ’em a bloody sight worse.”
“Of course, we know that things are a bit bad right now,” Crass continued, “but if people like him had their way, they’d make things a whole lot worse.”
“That’s just what I say,” replied Easton.
"That's exactly what I mean," Easton replied.
“I’ve got a pill ready for ’im, though, next time ’e start yappin’,” Crass continued as he drew a small piece of printed paper from his waistcoat pocket. “Just read that; it’s out of the Obscurer.”
“I’ve got a pill ready for him, though, next time he starts yapping,” Crass continued as he pulled out a small piece of printed paper from his waistcoat pocket. “Just read that; it’s from the Obscurer.”
Easton took the newspaper cutting and read it: “Very good,” he remarked as he handed it back.
Easton took the newspaper clipping and read it: “Very good,” he said as he handed it back.
“Yes, I think that’ll about shut ’im up. Did yer notice the other day when we was talking about poverty and men bein’ out of work, ’ow ’e dodged out of answerin’ wot I said about machinery bein’ the cause of it? ’e never answered me! Started talkin’ about something else.”
“Yes, I think that’ll probably shut him up. Did you notice the other day when we were talking about poverty and men being out of work, how he avoided answering what I said about machinery being the cause of it? He never answered me! Started talking about something else.”
“Yes, I remember ’e never answered it,” said Easton, who had really no recollection of the incident at all.
“Yes, I remember he never answered it,” Easton said, even though he had no memory of the incident at all.
“I mean to tackle ’im about it at breakfast-time. I don’t see why ’e should be allowed to get out of it like that. There was a bloke down at the ‘Cricketers’ the other night talkin’ about the same thing—a chap as takes a interest in politics and the like, and ’e said the very same as me. Why, the number of men what’s been throwed out of work by all this ’ere new-fangled machinery is something chronic!”
“I plan to confront him about it at breakfast. I don’t understand why he should be able to avoid it like that. There was a guy down at the ‘Cricketers’ the other night talking about the same issue—a guy who's interested in politics and all that, and he said the exact same thing as me. I mean, the number of men who have been laid off because of all this new machinery is just crazy!”
“Of course,” agreed Easton, “everyone knows it.”
“Of course,” Easton agreed, “everyone knows that.”
“You ought to give us a look in at the ‘Cricketers’ some night. There’s a lot of decent chaps comes there.”
“You should come by the ‘Cricketers’ one night. There are a lot of good guys who hang out there.”
“Yes, I think I will.”
“Yeah, I think I will.”
“What ’ouse do you usually use?” asked Crass after a pause.
“What house do you usually use?” asked Crass after a pause.
Easton laughed. “Well, to tell you the truth I’ve not used anywhere’s lately. Been ’avin too many ’ollerdays.”
Easton laughed. “Honestly, I haven’t used anywhere lately. I’ve been having too many holidays.”
“That do make a bit of difference, don’t it?” said Crass. “But you’ll be all right ’ere, till this job’s done. Just watch yerself a bit, and don’t get comin’ late in the mornin’s. Old Nimrod’s dead nuts on that.”
“Doesn’t that make a bit of a difference?” said Crass. “But you’ll be fine here until this job is done. Just keep an eye on yourself and don’t show up late in the mornings. Old Nimrod is really strict about that.”
“I’ll see to that all right,” replied Easton. “I don’t believe in losing time when there IS work to do. It’s bad enough when you can’t get it.”
“I’ll take care of that,” Easton replied. “I don’t believe in wasting time when there’s work to do. It’s frustrating enough when you can’t even get it.”
“You know,” Crass went on, confidentially. “Between me an’ you an’ the gatepost, as the sayin’ is, I don’t think Mr bloody Owen will be ’ere much longer. Nimrod ’ates the sight of ’im.”
“You know,” Crass continued, speaking in a low voice. “Between you, me, and the gatepost, as the saying goes, I don’t think Mr. damn Owen will be here much longer. Nimrod can’t stand the sight of him.”
Easton had it in his mind to say that Nimrod seemed to hate the sight of all of them: but he made no remark, and Crass continued:
Easton thought about saying that Nimrod seemed to dislike seeing any of them, but he kept quiet, and Crass went on:
“’E’s ’eard all about the way Owen goes on about politics and religion, an’ one thing an’ another, an’ about the firm scampin’ the work. You know that sort of talk don’t do, does it?”
“He's heard all about how Owen keeps going on about politics and religion, and everything else, and about how the firm is slacking off on the work. You know that kind of talk isn’t good, right?”
“Of course not.”
"Definitely not."
“’Unter would ’ave got rid of ’im long ago, but it wasn’t ’im as took ’im on in the first place. It was Rushton ’imself as give ’im a start. It seems Owen took a lot of samples of ’is work an’ showed ’em to the Bloke.”
“’Unter would have gotten rid of him a long time ago, but it wasn’t him who brought him on in the first place. It was Rushton himself who gave him a start. It seems Owen took a lot of samples of his work and showed them to the Bloke.”
“Is them the things wot’s ’angin’ up in the shop-winder?”
“Are those the things hanging up in the shop window?”
“Yes!” said Crass, contemptuously. “But ’e’s no good on plain work. Of course ’e does a bit of grainin’ an’ writin’—after a fashion—when there’s any to do, and that ain’t often, but on plain work, why, Sawkins is as good as ’im for most of it, any day!”
“Yeah!” said Crass, with disdain. “But he’s not great at basic tasks. Sure, he can do a little bit of grinding and writing—sort of—when there’s some to do, which isn’t often, but for basic work, Sawkins can handle most of it just as well, any day!”
“Yes, I suppose ’e is,” replied Easton, feeling rather ashamed of himself for the part he was taking in this conversation.
"Yeah, I guess he is," Easton replied, feeling pretty ashamed of himself for being part of this conversation.
Although he had for the moment forgotten the existence of Bert, Crass had instinctively lowered his voice, but the boy—who had left off working to warm his hands by putting them into his trousers pockets—managed, by listening attentively, to hear every word.
Although he had temporarily forgotten about Bert, Crass instinctively lowered his voice. However, the boy—who had stopped working to warm his hands by putting them in his trouser pockets—managed to hear every word by listening intently.
“You know there’s plenty of people wouldn’t give the firm no more work if they knowed about it,” Crass continued. “Just fancy sendin’ a b—r like that to work in a lady’s or gentleman’s ’ouse—a bloody Atheist!”
“You know there are a lot of people who wouldn’t give the firm any more work if they knew about it,” Crass continued. “Just imagine sending a b—r like that to work in a lady’s or gentleman’s house—a bloody Atheist!”
“Yes, it is a bit orf, when you look at it like that.”
“Yes, it is a bit odd when you look at it like that.”
“I know my missis—for one—wouldn’t ’ave a feller like that in our place. We ’ad a lodger once and she found out that ’e was a freethinker or something, and she cleared ’im out, bloody quick, I can tell yer!”
“I know my wife—she definitely wouldn’t want a guy like that in our house. We had a lodger once and when she found out he was a freethinker or something, she kicked him out really fast, I can tell you!”
“Oh, by the way,” said Easton, glad of an opportunity to change the subject, “you don’t happen to know of anyone as wants a room, do you? We’ve got one more than we want, so the wife thought that we might as well let it.”
“Oh, by the way,” Easton said, happy for a chance to switch topics, “do you know anyone who’s looking for a room? We have one more than we need, so my wife thought we might as well rent it out.”
Crass thought for a moment. “Can’t say as I do,” he answered, doubtfully. “Slyme was talking last week about leaving the place ’e’s lodging at, but I don’t know whether ’e’s got another place to go to. You might ask him. I don’t know of anyone else.”
Crass thought for a moment. “I can’t say I do,” he replied, uncertain. “Slyme was talking last week about leaving the place he’s staying at, but I’m not sure if he found another place to go. You could ask him. I don’t know anyone else.”
“I’ll speak to ’im,” replied Easton. “What’s the time? it must be nearly on it.”
“I’ll talk to him,” Easton replied. “What time is it? It must be almost time.”
“So it is: just on eight,” exclaimed Crass, and drawing his whistle he blew a shrill blast upon it to apprise the others of the fact.
“So it is: just about eight,” exclaimed Crass, and pulling out his whistle he blew a sharp blast on it to let the others know.
“Has anyone seen old Jack Linden since ’e got the push?” inquired Harlow during breakfast.
“Has anyone seen old Jack Linden since he got the boot?” Harlow asked during breakfast.
“I seen ’im Saterdy,” said Slyme.
“I saw him Saturday,” said Slyme.
“Is ’e doin’ anything?”
“Is he doing anything?”
“I don’t know: I didn’t ’ave time to speak to ’im.”
“I don’t know; I didn’t have time to talk to him.”
“No, ’e ain’t got nothing,” remarked Philpot. “I seen ’im Saterdy night, an’ ’e told me ’e’s been walkin’ about ever since.”
“No, he doesn’t have anything,” Philpot said. “I saw him Saturday night, and he told me he’s been walking around ever since.”
Philpot did not add that he had “lent” Linden a shilling, which he never expected to see again.
Philpot didn't mention that he had "loaned" Linden a shilling, which he never thought he would get back.
“’E won’t be able to get a job again in a ’urry,” remarked Easton. “’E’s too old.”
“ He won’t be able to get a job again anytime soon,” remarked Easton. “He’s too old.”
“You know, after all, you can’t blame Misery for sackin’ ’im,” said Crass after a pause. “’E was too slow for a funeral.”
“You know, you can’t really blame Misery for firing him,” Crass said after a pause. “He was just too slow for a funeral.”
“I wonder how much YOU’LL be able to do when you’re as old as he is?” said Owen.
“I wonder how much YOU'LL be able to do when you're as old as he is?” said Owen.
“P’raps I won’t want to do nothing,” replied Crass with a feeble laugh. “I’m goin’ to live on me means.”
“Maybe I won’t want to do anything,” replied Crass with a weak laugh. “I’m going to live within my means.”
“I should say the best thing old Jack could do would be to go in the union,” said Harlow.
“I think the best thing old Jack could do is to join the union,” said Harlow.
“Yes: I reckon that’s what’ll be the end of it,” said Easton in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Yes: I think that’s how it’ll turn out,” said Easton in a straightforward tone.
“It’s a grand finish, isn’t it?” observed Owen. “After working hard all one’s life to be treated like a criminal at the end.”
“It’s a great ending, isn’t it?” Owen said. “After working hard your whole life to be treated like a criminal in the end.”
“I don’t know what you call bein’ treated like criminals,” exclaimed Crass. “I reckon they ’as a bloody fine time of it, an’ we’ve got to find the money.”
“I don’t know what you’d call being treated like criminals,” Crass exclaimed. “I guess they’re having a great time with it, and we have to find the money.”
“Oh, for God’s sake don’t start no more arguments,” cried Harlow, addressing Owen. “We ’ad enough of that last week. You can’t expect a boss to employ a man when ’e’s too old to work.”
“Oh, for God’s sake, don’t start any more arguments,” Harlow shouted at Owen. “We had enough of that last week. You can’t expect a boss to hire someone who’s too old to work.”
“Of course not,” said Crass.
“Of course not,” Crass replied.
Philpot said—nothing.
Philpot said nothing.
“I don’t see no sense in always grumblin’,” Crass proceeded. “These things can’t be altered. You can’t expect there can be plenty of work for everyone with all this ’ere labour-savin’ machinery what’s been invented.”
“I don’t see any sense in always complaining,” Crass continued. “These things can’t be changed. You can’t expect there to be enough work for everyone with all this labor-saving machinery that’s been invented.”
“Of course,” said Harlow, “the people what used to be employed on the work what’s now done by machinery, has to find something else to do. Some of ’em goes to our trade, for instance: the result is there’s too many at it, and there ain’t enough work to keep ’em all goin’.”
“Of course,” said Harlow, “the people who used to work in jobs that are now done by machines have to find something else to do. Some of them go into our trade, for example: the result is that there are too many of them, and there isn’t enough work to keep them all going.”
“Yes,” cried Crass, eagerly. “That’s just what I say. Machinery is the real cause of the poverty. That’s what I said the other day.”
"Yes," shouted Crass, eagerly. "That's exactly what I've been saying. Machinery is the real reason for poverty. That's what I mentioned the other day."
“Machinery is undoubtedly the cause of unemployment,” replied Owen, “but it’s not the cause of poverty: that’s another matter altogether.”
“Machinery definitely causes unemployment,” Owen replied, “but it’s not the reason for poverty: that’s a completely different issue.”
The others laughed derisively.
The others laughed mockingly.
“Well, it seems to me to amount to the same thing,” said Harlow, and nearly everyone agreed.
“Well, it seems to me like it amounts to the same thing,” said Harlow, and almost everyone agreed.
“It doesn’t seem to me to amount to the same thing,” Owen replied. “In my opinion, we are all in a state of poverty even when we have employment—the condition we are reduced to when we’re out of work is more properly described as destitution.”
“It doesn’t seem to me that it’s the same thing,” Owen replied. “I believe we are all in a state of poverty even when we have jobs—the situation we find ourselves in when we’re out of work is better described as destitution.”
“Poverty,” continued Owen after a short silence, “consists in a shortage of the necessaries of life. When those things are so scarce or so dear that people are unable to obtain sufficient of them to satisfy all their needs, those people are in a condition of poverty. If you think that the machinery, which makes it possible to produce all the necessaries of life in abundance, is the cause of the shortage, it seems to me that there must be something the matter with your minds.”
“Poverty,” continued Owen after a brief pause, “is about not having enough essential things for life. When those essentials are so limited or so expensive that people can't get enough to meet all their needs, those people are living in poverty. If you believe that the machinery that allows us to produce all the essentials of life in abundance is the reason for the shortage, then it looks like there's something off with your thinking.”
“Oh, of course we’re all bloody fools except you,” snarled Crass. “When they were servin’ out the sense, they give you such a ’ell of a lot, there wasn’t none left for nobody else.”
“Oh, of course we’re all complete idiots except you,” sneered Crass. “When they were handing out common sense, they gave you so much that there wasn’t any left for anyone else.”
“If there wasn’t something wrong with your minds,” continued Owen, “you would be able to see that we might have ‘Plenty of Work’ and yet be in a state of destitution. The miserable wretches who toil sixteen or eighteen hours a day—father, mother and even the little children—making match-boxes, or shirts or blouses, have ‘plenty of work’, but I for one don’t envy them. Perhaps you think that if there was no machinery and we all had to work thirteen or fourteen hours a day in order to obtain a bare living, we should not be in a condition of poverty? Talk about there being something the matter with your minds! If there were not, you wouldn’t talk one day about Tariff Reform as a remedy for unemployment and then the next day admit that Machinery is the cause of it! Tariff Reform won’t do away with the machinery, will it?”
“If there wasn’t something wrong with your thinking,” Owen continued, “you’d see that we can have ‘Plenty of Work’ and still be living in poverty. The poor people who work sixteen or eighteen hours a day—fathers, mothers, and even little kids—making matchboxes or shirts or blouses have ‘plenty of work’, but I don’t envy them at all. Maybe you think that if there were no machines and we all had to work thirteen or fourteen hours a day just to get by, we wouldn’t be in poverty? Talk about something being off with your thinking! If it weren’t, you wouldn’t talk one day about Tariff Reform as a solution for unemployment and then the next day acknowledge that machinery is the cause of it! Tariff Reform isn’t going to get rid of the machines, is it?”
“Tariff Reform is the remedy for bad trade,” returned Crass.
“Tariff reform is the solution for poor trade,” replied Crass.
“In that case Tariff Reform is the remedy for a disease that does not exist. If you would only take the trouble to investigate for yourself you would find out that trade was never so good as it is at present: the output—the quantity of commodities of every kind—produced in and exported from this country is greater than it has ever been before. The fortunes amassed in business are larger than ever before: but at the same time—owing, as you have just admitted—to the continued introduction and extended use of wages-saving machinery, the number of human beings being employed is steadily decreasing. I have here,” continued Owen, taking out his pocket-book, “some figures which I copied from the Daily Mail Year Book for 1907, page 33:
“In that case, tariff reform is a solution for a problem that doesn’t exist. If you took the time to look into it yourself, you would find that trade has never been better than it is now: the output—the amount of goods of every type—produced in and exported from this country is greater than it ever has been. The fortunes made in business are larger than ever before; however, at the same time—due, as you just acknowledged, to the ongoing introduction and expanded use of labor-saving machines—the number of people being employed is steadily declining. I have here,” continued Owen, taking out his wallet, “some figures that I copied from the Daily Mail Year Book for 1907, page 33:
“‘It is a very noticeable fact that although the number of factories and their value have vastly increased in the United Kingdom, there is an absolute decrease in the number of men and women employed in those factories between 1895 and 1901. This is doubtless due to the displacement of hand labour by machinery!’
“‘It’s pretty clear that even though the number of factories and their value have significantly increased in the United Kingdom, there is a total decrease in the number of men and women employed in those factories from 1895 to 1901. This is likely because machinery has replaced manual labor!’”
“Will Tariff Reform deal with that? Are the good, kind capitalists going to abandon the use of wages-saving machinery if we tax all foreign-made goods? Does what you call ‘Free Trade’ help us here? Or do you think that abolishing the House of Lords, or disestablishing the Church, will enable the workers who are displaced to obtain employment? Since it IS true—as you admit—that machinery is the principal cause of unemployment, what are you going to do about it? What’s your remedy?”
“Will tariff reform solve that? Are the good, kind capitalists going to stop using wage-saving machines if we tax all foreign-made goods? Does what you call ‘free trade’ help us here? Or do you think that getting rid of the House of Lords or disestablishing the Church will help the displaced workers find jobs? Since it’s true—as you admit—that machinery is the main cause of unemployment, what are you going to do about it? What’s your solution?”
No one answered, because none of them knew of any remedy: and Crass began to feel sorry that he had re-introduced the subject at all.
No one responded, because they all had no idea what to do: and Crass started to regret bringing it up again.
“In the near future,” continued Owen, “it is probable that horses will be almost entirely superseded by motor cars and electric trams. As the services of horses will be no longer required, all but a few of those animals will be caused to die out: they will no longer be bred to the same extent as formerly. We can’t blame the horses for allowing themselves to be exterminated. They have not sufficient intelligence to understand what’s being done. Therefore they will submit tamely to the extinction of the greater number of their kind.
“In the near future,” Owen continued, “it's likely that horses will be almost completely replaced by cars and electric trams. Since the need for horses will decrease, most of them will gradually die out: they won’t be bred as much as they used to be. We can’t fault the horses for letting themselves be wiped out. They don’t have the intelligence to grasp what’s happening. So, they will passively accept the extinction of most of their kind."
“As we have seen, a great deal of the work which was formerly done by human beings is now being done by machinery. This machinery belongs to a few people: it is worked for the benefit of those few, just the same as were the human beings it displaced. These Few have no longer any need of the services of so many human workers, so they propose to exterminate them! The unnecessary human beings are to be allowed to starve to death! And they are also to be taught that it is wrong to marry and breed children, because the Sacred Few do not require so many people to work for them as before!”
“As we've seen, a lot of the work that used to be done by people is now handled by machines. These machines belong to a small group: they operate for the benefit of that group, just like the humans they replaced. This group no longer needs so many workers, so they plan to get rid of them! The unnecessary people are just going to be left to starve! They’re also going to be told that it's wrong to marry and have kids because the Sacred Few don't need as many people working for them as they did before!”
“Yes, and you’ll never be able to prevent it, mate!” shouted Crass.
“Yes, and you’ll never be able to stop it, buddy!” shouted Crass.
“Why can’t we?”
"Why can't we?"
“Because it can’t be done!” cried Crass fiercely. “It’s impossible!”
“Because it can’t be done!” shouted Crass angrily. “It’s impossible!”
“You’re always sayin’ that everything’s all wrong,” complained Harlow, “but why the ’ell don’t you tell us ’ow they’re goin’ to be put right?”
“You're always saying that everything's messed up,” complained Harlow, “but why the hell don't you tell us how they're going to get fixed?”
“It doesn’t seem to me as if any of you really wish to know. I believe that even if it were proved that it could be done, most of you would be sorry and would do all you could to prevent it.”
“It doesn’t seem to me like any of you really want to know. I believe that even if it were proven that it could be done, most of you would regret it and would do everything you could to stop it.”
“’E don’t know ’isself,” sneered Crass. “Accordin’ to ’im, Tariff Reform ain’t no bloody good—Free Trade ain’t no bloody good, and everybody else is wrong! But when you arst ’im what ought to be done—’e’s flummoxed.”
“'He doesn’t even know himself,” sneered Crass. “According to him, Tariff Reform is no good—Free Trade is no good, and everyone else is wrong! But when you ask him what should be done—he’s stumped.”
Crass did not feel very satisfied with the result of this machinery argument, but he consoled himself with the reflection that he would be able to flatten out his opponent on another subject. The cutting from the Obscurer which he had in his pocket would take a bit of answering! When you have a thing in print—in black and white—why there it is, and you can’t get away from it! If it wasn’t right, a paper like that would never have printed it. However, as it was now nearly half past eight, he resolved to defer this triumph till another occasion. It was too good a thing to be disposed of in a hurry.
Crass didn't feel very satisfied with the outcome of the machinery argument, but he reassured himself by thinking that he would be able to shut down his opponent on another topic. The article from the Obscurer that he had in his pocket would require some explaining! When something is in print—black and white—there it is, and you can't just ignore it! If it wasn't accurate, a paper like that wouldn't have published it. However, since it was now almost half past eight, he decided to save this triumph for another time. It was too valuable to rush through.
Chapter 8
The Cap on the Stairs
After breakfast, when they were working together in the drawing-room, Easton, desiring to do Owen a good turn, thought he would put him on his guard, and repeated to him in a whisper the substance of the conversation he had held with Crass concerning him.
After breakfast, while they were working together in the drawing room, Easton, wanting to do Owen a favor, decided to give him a heads-up and quietly shared with him the main points of the conversation he had with Crass about him.
“Of course, you needn’t mention that I told you, Frank,” he said, “but I thought I ought to let you know: you can take it from me, Crass ain’t no friend of yours.”
“Of course, you don’t have to say I told you, Frank,” he said, “but I thought you should know: trust me, Crass isn’t any friend of yours.”
“I’ve know that for a long time, mate,” replied Owen. “Thanks for telling me, all the same.”
“I’ve known that for a long time, buddy,” replied Owen. “Thanks for letting me know, anyway.”
“The bloody rotter’s no friend of mine either, or anyone else’s, for that matter,” Easton continued, “but of course it doesn’t do to fall out with ’im because you never know what he’d go and say to ol’ ’Unter.”
“The bloody jerk isn’t a friend of mine either, or anyone else’s, for that matter,” Easton continued, “but of course it’s not smart to have a falling out with him because you never know what he might tell old Hunter.”
“Yes, one has to remember that.”
“Yes, you have to keep that in mind.”
“Of course we all know what’s the matter with ’im as far as YOU’RE concerned,” Easton went on. “He don’t like ’avin’ anyone on the firm wot knows more about the work than ’e does ’imself—thinks ’e might git worked out of ’is job.”
“Of course we all know what’s bothering him as far as YOU’RE concerned,” Easton continued. “He doesn’t like having anyone at the firm who knows more about the work than he does—thinks he might get pushed out of his job.”
Owen laughed bitterly.
Owen laughed cynically.
“He needn’t be afraid of ME on THAT account. I wouldn’t have his job if it were offered to me.”
"He doesn't need to worry about me for that reason. I wouldn't take his job even if it was offered to me."
“But ’e don’t think so,” replied Easton, “and that’s why ’e’s got ’is knife into you.”
“But he doesn’t think so,” replied Easton, “and that’s why he’s got his knife into you.”
“I believe that what he said about Hunter is true enough,” said Owen. “Every time he comes here he tries to goad me into doing or saying something that would give him an excuse to tell me to clear out. I might have done it before now if I had not guessed what he was after, and been on my guard.”
“I think what he said about Hunter is mostly true,” said Owen. “Every time he comes here, he tries to provoke me into doing or saying something that would give him a reason to tell me to leave. I might have done it by now if I hadn’t figured out what he was after and stayed cautious.”
Meantime, Crass, in the kitchen, had resumed his seat by the fire with the purpose of finishing his pipe of tobacco. Presently he took out his pocket-book and began to write in it with a piece of black-lead pencil. When the pipe was smoked out he knocked the bowl against the grate to get rid of the ash, and placed the pipe in his waistcoat pocket. Then, having torn out the leaf on which he had been writing, he got up and went into the pantry, where Bert was still struggling with the old whitewash.
Meanwhile, Crass was back in the kitchen, sitting by the fire to finish his pipe of tobacco. After a bit, he took out his wallet and started writing in it with a pencil. Once he finished smoking, he tapped the bowl against the grate to empty the ash and put the pipe in his waistcoat pocket. Then, after tearing out the page he had been writing on, he got up and went into the pantry, where Bert was still battling with the old whitewash.
“Ain’t yer nearly finished? I don’t want yer to stop in ’ere all day, yer know.”
“Aren’t you almost done? I don’t want you to be stuck in here all day, you know.”
“I ain’t got much more to do now,” said the boy. “Just this bit under the bottom shelf and then I’m done.”
“I don’t have much more to do now,” said the boy. “Just this little bit under the bottom shelf and then I’m finished.”
“Yes, and a bloody fine mess you’ve made, what I can see of it!” growled Crass. “Look at all this water on the floor!”
“Yes, and it's a really big mess you’ve made, from what I can see!” growled Crass. “Look at all this water on the floor!”
Bert looked guiltily at the floor and turned very red.
Bert looked at the floor with guilt and turned bright red.
“I’ll clean it all up”, he stammered. “As soon as I’ve got this bit of wall done, I’ll wipe all the mess up with the swab.”
“I’ll clean it all up,” he stammered. “As soon as I finish this section of the wall, I’ll wipe up the mess with the mop.”
Crass now took a pot of paint and some brushes and, having put some more fuel on the fire, began in a leisurely way to paint some of the woodwork in the kitchen. Presently Bert came in.
Crass now grabbed a can of paint and some brushes and, after adding more wood to the fire, started casually painting some of the woodwork in the kitchen. Soon, Bert walked in.
“I’ve finished there,” he said.
“I’m done there,” he said.
“About time, too. You’ll ’ave to look a bit livelier than you do, you know, or me and you will fall out.”
“About time, too. You’ll have to look a bit more lively than you do, you know, or you and I are going to have a problem.”
Bert did not answer.
Bert didn't respond.
“Now I’ve got another job for yer. You’re fond of drorin, ain’t yer?” continued Crass in a jeering tone.
“Now I’ve got another job for you. You like drawing, right?” continued Crass in a mocking tone.
“Yes, a little,” replied the boy, shamefacedly.
“Yes, a little,” the boy replied, feeling embarrassed.
“Well,” said Crass, giving him the leaf he had torn out of the pocket-book, “you can go up to the yard and git them things and put ’em on a truck and dror it up ’ere, and git back as soon as you can. Just look at the paper and see if you understand it before you go. I don’t want you to make no mistakes.”
“Well,” said Crass, handing him the page he had ripped out of the notebook, “you can go to the yard, grab those things, load them onto a truck, and bring it back here as quickly as you can. Just read the paper and make sure you understand it before you leave. I don’t want you to mess anything up.”
Bert took the paper and with some difficulty read as follows:
Bert took the paper and, with some effort, read the following:
1 pare steppes 8 foot
1/2 gallon Plastor off perish
1 pale off witewosh
12 lbs wite led
1/2 gallon Linsede Hoil
Do. Do. turps
1 pair steppes 8 foot
1/2 gallon Plaster of Paris
1 pail of whitewash
12 lbs white lead
1/2 gallon Linseed Oil
Same. Same. turpentine
“I can make it out all right.”
“I can figure it out just fine.”
“You’d better bring the big truck,” said Crass, “because I want you to take the venetian blinds with you on it when you take it back tonight. They’ve got to be painted at the shop.”
“You’d better bring the big truck,” said Crass, “because I want you to take the venetian blinds with you when you take it back tonight. They need to be painted at the shop.”
“All right.”
"Okay."
When the boy had departed Crass took a stroll through the house to see how the others were getting on. Then he returned to the kitchen and proceeded with his work.
When the boy left, Crass walked around the house to check on how everyone else was doing. Then he went back to the kitchen and continued with his work.
Crass was about thirty-eight years of age, rather above middle height and rather stout. He had a considerable quantity of curly black hair and wore a short beard of the same colour. His head was rather large, but low, and flat on top. When among his cronies he was in the habit of referring to his obesity as the result of good nature and a contented mind. Behind his back other people attributed it to beer, some even going to far as to nickname him the “tank”.
Crass was around thirty-eight years old, fairly tall, and somewhat overweight. He had a lot of curly black hair and sported a short beard that was the same color. His head was quite large, but low and flat on top. When he was with his friends, he liked to say that his weight came from his good-natured personality and a happy mind. However, behind his back, others said it was due to beer, with some even going so far as to call him the “tank.”
There was no work of a noisy kind being done this morning. Both the carpenters and the bricklayers having been taken away, temporarily, to another “job”. At the same time there was not absolute silence: occasionally Crass could hear the voices of the other workmen as they spoke to each other, sometimes shouting from one room to another. Now and then Harlow’s voice rang through the house as he sang snatches of music-hall songs or a verse of a Moody and Sankey hymn, and occasionally some of the others joined in the chorus or interrupted the singer with squeals and catcalls. Once or twice Crass was on the point of telling them to make less row: there would be a fine to do if Nimrod came and heard them. Just as he had made up his mind to tell them to stop the noise, it ceased of itself and he heard loud whispers:
There wasn't any noisy work happening this morning. Both the carpenters and the bricklayers had been temporarily sent to another “job.” At the same time, it wasn't completely silent: now and then, Crass could hear the voices of the other workers chatting, sometimes shouting from one room to another. Occasionally, Harlow's voice echoed through the house as he sang bits of music-hall songs or a verse from a Moody and Sankey hymn, and sometimes others joined in the chorus or interrupted him with squeals and catcalls. A couple of times, Crass almost told them to keep it down: it would be trouble if Nimrod showed up and heard them. Just when he was about to say something about the noise, it stopped on its own, and he heard loud whispers:
“Look out! Someone’s comin’.”
"Watch out! Someone's coming."
The house became very quiet.
The house grew very quiet.
Crass put out his pipe and opened the window and the back door to get rid of the smell of the tobacco smoke. Then he shifted the pair of steps noisily, and proceeded to work more quickly than before. Most likely it was old Misery.
Crass put out his pipe and opened the window and the back door to get rid of the smell of tobacco smoke. Then he noisily moved the pair of steps and got to work faster than before. It was probably old Misery.
He worked on for some time in silence, but no one came to the kitchen: whoever it was must have gone upstairs. Crass listened attentively. Who could it be? He would have liked to go to see whom it was, but at the same time, if it were Nimrod, Crass wished to be discovered at work. He therefore waited a little longer and presently he heard the sound of voices upstairs but was unable to recognize them. He was just about to go out into the passage to listen, when whoever it was began coming downstairs. Crass at once resumed his work. The footsteps came along the passage leading to the kitchen: slow, heavy, ponderous footsteps, but yet the sound was not such as would be made by a man heavily shod. It was not Misery, evidently.
He worked in silence for a while, but no one came into the kitchen; whoever it was must have gone upstairs. Crass listened closely. Who could it be? He wanted to go see who it was, but at the same time, if it was Nimrod, Crass preferred to be found working. So he waited a little longer and soon heard voices upstairs, but he couldn't make out who they were. Just as he was about to step into the hallway to listen, he heard whoever it was coming downstairs. Crass immediately went back to his work. The footsteps came down the
As the footsteps entered the kitchen, Crass looked round and beheld a very tall, obese figure, with a large, fleshy, coarse-featured, clean-shaven face, and a great double chin, the complexion being of the colour and appearance of the fat of uncooked bacon. A very large fleshy nose and weak-looking pale blue eyes, the slightly inflamed lids being almost destitute of eye-lashes. He had large fat feet cased in soft calfskin boots, with drab-coloured spats. His overcoat, heavily trimmed with sealskin, reached just below the knees, and although the trousers were very wide they were filled by the fat legs within, the shape of the calves being distinctly perceptible. Even as the feet seemed about to burst the uppers of the boots, so the legs appeared to threaten the trousers with disruption. This man was so large that his figure completely filled up the doorway, and as he came in he stooped slightly to avoid damaging the glittering silk hat on his head. One gloved hand was thrust into the pocket of the overcoat and in the other he carried a small Gladstone bag.
As the footsteps entered the kitchen, Crass looked around and saw a very tall, overweight figure with a large, fleshy, coarse-featured, clean-shaven face and a huge double chin, the complexion resembling the fat of raw bacon. He had a very large, fleshy nose and weak-looking pale blue eyes, the slightly red eyelids nearly devoid of eyelashes. His large, fat feet were stuffed into soft calfskin boots, accented with drab-colored spats. His overcoat, heavily trimmed with sealskin, reached just below his knees, and although the trousers were very wide, they were stretched tight by his fat legs, the shape of his calves clearly visible. Just like his feet seemed ready to burst the tops of the boots, his legs looked like they might tear the trousers apart. This man was so big that he completely filled the doorway, and as he walked in, he leaned slightly to avoid hitting the shiny silk hat on his head. One gloved hand was shoved into the pocket of his overcoat while the other held a small Gladstone bag.
When Crass beheld this being, he touched his cap respectfully.
When Crass saw this person, he politely tipped his cap.
“Good morning, sir!”
"Good morning, sir!"
“Good morning. They told me upstairs that I should find the foreman here. Are you the foreman?”
“Good morning. They told me upstairs that I should find the supervisor here. Are you the supervisor?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“I see you’re getting on with the work here.”
“I see you’re making progress with the work here.”
“Ho yes sir, we’re beginning to make a bit hov a show now, sir,” replied Crass, speaking as if he had a hot potato in his mouth.
“Yeah, sure, we’re starting to put on quite a show now,” replied Crass, speaking as if he had a hot potato in his mouth.
“Mr Rushton isn’t here yet, I suppose?”
“Mr. Rushton isn’t here yet, I guess?”
“No, sir: ’e don’t horfun come hon the job hin the mornin, sir; ’e generally comes hafternoons, sir, but Mr ’Unter’s halmost sure to be ’ere presently, sir.”
“No, sir: he doesn’t usually come on the job in the morning, sir; he generally comes in the afternoons, sir, but Mr. Hunter is almost sure to be here soon, sir.”
“It’s Mr Rushton I want to see: I arranged to meet him here at ten o’clock; but”—looking at his watch—“I’m rather before my time.”
“It’s Mr. Rushton I want to see: I set up a meeting with him here at ten o’clock; but”—glancing at his watch—“I’m a bit early.”
“He’ll be here presently, I suppose,” added Mr Sweater. “I’ll just take a look round till he comes.”
“He should be here soon, I guess,” Mr. Sweater said. “I’ll just look around until he arrives.”
“Yes, sir,” responded Crass, walking behind him obsequiously as he went out of the room.
“Yes, sir,” Crass replied, following him closely and obediently as he exited the room.
Hoping that the gentleman might give him a shilling, Crass followed him into the front hall and began explaining what progress had so far been made with the work, but as Mr Sweater answered only by monosyllables and grunts, Crass presently concluded that his conversation was not appreciated and returned to the kitchen.
Hoping the man might give him a shilling, Crass followed him into the front hall and started explaining the progress that had been made with the work, but since Mr. Sweater responded only with one-word answers and grunts, Crass soon figured that his conversation wasn't appreciated and went back to the kitchen.
Meantime, upstairs, Philpot had gone into Newman’s room and was discussing with him the possibility of extracting from Mr Sweater the price of a little light refreshment.
Meantime, upstairs, Philpot had entered Newman’s room and was talking to him about the chance of getting Mr. Sweater to pay for some light snacks.
“I think,” he remarked, “that we oughter see-ise this ’ere tuneropperty to touch ’im for an allowance.”
“I think,” he said, “that we should take this opportunity to ask him for an allowance.”
“We won’t git nothin’ out of ’IM, mate,” returned Newman. “’E’s a red-’ot teetotaller.”
“We won’t get anything out of him, mate,” replied Newman. “He’s a hot-headed teetotaler.”
“That don’t matter. ’Ow’s ’e to know that we buys beer with it? We might ’ave tea, or ginger ale, or lime-juice and glycerine for all ’e knows!”
“That doesn’t matter. How is he supposed to know that we buy beer with it? We could have tea, or ginger ale, or lime juice and glycerin for all he knows!”
Mr Sweater now began ponderously re-ascending the stairs and presently came into the room where Philpot was. The latter greeted him with respectful cordiality:
Mr. Sweater slowly started going back up the stairs and soon entered the room where Philpot was. The latter welcomed him with friendly respect:
“Good morning, sir.”
“Good morning, sir.”
“Good morning. You’ve begun painting up here, then.”
“Good morning. Looks like you’ve started painting up here, then.”
“Yes, sir, we’ve made a start on it,” replied Philpot, affably.
“Yes, sir, we’ve started on it,” replied Philpot, friendly.
“Is this door wet?” asked Sweater, glancing apprehensively at the sleeve of his coat.
“Is this door wet?” asked Sweater, looking nervously at the sleeve of his coat.
“Yes, sir,” answered Philpot, and added, as he looked meaningly at the great man, “the paint is wet, sir, but the PAINTERS is dry.”
“Yes, sir,” replied Philpot, and added, glancing knowingly at the great man, “the paint is wet, sir, but the PAINTERS are dry.”
“Confound it!” exclaimed Sweater, ignoring, or not hearing the latter part of Philpot’s reply. “I’ve got some of the beastly stuff on my coat sleeve.”
“Damn it!” shouted Sweater, ignoring or not hearing the last part of Philpot’s reply. “I’ve got some of that nasty stuff on my coat sleeve.”
“Oh, that’s nothing, sir,” cried Philpot, secretly delighted. “I’ll get that orf for yer in no time. You wait just ’arf a mo!”
“Oh, that’s nothing, sir,” Philpot said, secretly thrilled. “I’ll get that off for you in no time. Just wait a sec!”
He had a piece of clean rag in his tool bag, and there was a can of turps in the room. Moistening the rag slightly with turps he carefully removed the paint from Sweater’s sleeve.
He had a clean rag in his tool bag, and there was a can of turpentine in the room. Dipping the rag lightly in the turpentine, he carefully wiped the paint off Sweater’s sleeve.
“It’s all orf now, sir,” he remarked, as he rubbed the place with a dry part of the rag. “The smell of the turps will go away in about a hour’s time.”
“It’s all gone now, sir,” he said, as he wiped the spot with a dry part of the rag. “The smell of the turpentine will fade in about an hour.”
“Thanks,” said Sweater.
“Thanks,” said Sweater.
Philpot looked at him wistfully, but Sweater evidently did not understand, and began looking about the room.
Philpot looked at him with longing, but Sweater clearly didn’t get it and started scanning the room.
“I see they’ve put a new piece of skirting here,” he observed.
“I see they’ve put new baseboards here,” he noted.
“Yes, sir,” said Newman, who came into the room just then to get the turps. “The old piece was all to bits with dry-rot.”
“Yes, sir,” said Newman, who walked into the room at that moment to get the turps. “The old piece was totally falling apart with dry rot.”
“I feel as if I ’ad a touch of the dry-rot meself, don’t you?” said Philpot to Newman, who smiled feebly and cast a sidelong glance at Sweater, who did not appear to notice the significance of the remark, but walked out of the room and began climbing up to the next floor, where Harlow and Sawkins were working.
“I feel like I’ve got a bit of dry rot myself, don’t you?” Philpot said to Newman, who smiled weakly and shot a sideways look at Sweater, who didn’t seem to catch the meaning of the comment but walked out of the room and started heading up to the next floor, where Harlow and Sawkins were working.
“Well, there’s a bleeder for yer!” said Philpot with indignation. “After all the trouble I took to clean ’is coat! Not a bloody stiver! Well, it takes the cake, don’t it?”
“Well, there’s a problem for you!” said Philpot angrily. “After all the effort I put into cleaning his coat! Not a single penny! Well, this really takes the cake, doesn’t it?”
“I told you ’ow it would be, didn’t I?” replied Newman.
“I told you how it would be, didn’t I?” replied Newman.
“P’raps I didn’t make it plain enough,” said Philpot, thoughtfully. “We must try to get some of our own back somehow, you know.”
“Maybe I didn’t make it clear enough,” said Philpot, thinking it over. “We need to find a way to get some of our own back somehow, you know.”
Going out on the landing he called softly upstairs.
Going out onto the landing, he softly called upstairs.
“I say, Harlow.”
"I'm telling you, Harlow."
“Hallo,” said that individual, looking over the banisters.
“Hello,” said that person, looking over the banisters.
“’Ow are yer getting on up there?”
“How are you doing up there?”
“Oh, all right, you know.”
“Oh, fine, you know.”
“Pretty dry job, ain’t it?” Philpot continued, raising his voice a little and winking at Harlow.
“Pretty boring job, right?” Philpot said, raising his voice a bit and winking at Harlow.
“Yes, it is, rather,” replied Harlow with a grin.
“Yes, it really is,” replied Harlow with a grin.
“I think this would be a very good time to take up the collection, don’t you?”
“I think this is a great time to take up the collection, don’t you?”
“Yes, it wouldn’t be a bad idear.”
“Yes, it wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
“Well, I’ll put me cap on the stairs,” said Philpot, suiting the action to the word. “You never knows yer luck. Things is gettin’ a bit serious on this floor, you know; my mate’s fainted away once already!”
“Well, I’ll put my cap on the stairs,” said Philpot, doing just that. “You never know your luck. Things are getting a bit serious on this floor, you know; my friend has fainted once already!”
Philpot now went back to his room to await developments: but as Sweater made no sign, he returned to the landing and again hailed Harlow.
Philpot went back to his room to wait for updates, but since Sweater didn't respond, he went back to the landing and called out to Harlow again.
“I always reckon a man can work all the better after ’e’s ’ad a drink: you can seem to get over more of it, like.”
“I always think a guy can work better after he’s had a drink: it feels like you can get through more of it, you know?”
“Oh, that’s true enough,” responded Harlow. “I’ve often noticed it meself.”
“Oh, that’s definitely true,” replied Harlow. “I’ve noticed it myself too.”
Sweater came out of the front bedroom and passed into one of the back rooms without any notice of either of the men.
Sweater left the front bedroom and went into one of the back rooms without either of the men noticing.
“I’m afraid it’s a frost, mate,” Harlow whispered, and Philpot, shaking his head sadly, returned to work; but in a little while he came out again and once more accosted Harlow.
“I’m afraid it’s a frost, buddy,” Harlow whispered, and Philpot, shaking his head sadly, went back to work; but after a while, he came out again and approached Harlow once more.
“I knowed a case once,” he said in a melancholy tone, “where a chap died—of thirst—on a job just like this; and at the inquest the doctor said as ’arf a pint would ’a saved ’im!”
“I knew a case once,” he said in a melancholy tone, “where a guy died—of thirst—on a job just like this; and at the inquest, the doctor said half a pint would have saved him!”
“It must ’ave been a norrible death,” remarked Harlow.
“It must have been a horrible death,” Harlow remarked.
“’Orrible ain’t the work for it, mate,” replied Philpot, mournfully. “It was something chronic!”
“Awful isn’t the word for it, man,” replied Philpot, sadly. “It was something else entirely!”
After this final heartrending appeal to Sweater’s humanity they returned to work, satisfied that, whatever the result of their efforts, they had done their best. They had placed the matter fully and fairly before him: nothing more could be said: the issue now rested entirely with him.
After this final emotional plea to Sweater’s humanity, they went back to work, feeling that no matter how things turned out, they had given it their all. They had presented the situation honestly and completely to him: there was nothing more to discuss: the decision was now entirely in his hands.
But it was all in vain. Sweater either did not or would not understand, and when he came downstairs he took no notice whatever of the cap which Philpot had placed so conspicuously in the centre of the landing floor.
But it was all for nothing. Sweater either didn’t understand or just wouldn’t acknowledge, and when he came downstairs, he completely ignored the cap that Philpot had placed so obviously in the middle of the landing floor.
Chapter 9
Who is to Pay?
Sweater reached the hall almost at the same moment that Rushton entered by the front door. They greeted each other in a friendly way and after a few remarks concerning the work that was being done, they went into the drawing-room where Owen and Easton were and Rushton said:
Sweater arrived in the hall just as Rushton walked in through the front door. They greeted each other warmly, and after chatting briefly about the work that was happening, they went into the drawing room where Owen and Easton were, and Rushton said:
“What about this room? Have you made up your mind what you’re going to have done to it?”
“What about this room? Have you decided what you want to do with it?”
“Yes,” replied Sweater; “but I’ll tell you about that afterwards. What I’m anxious about is the drains. Have you brought the plans?”
“Yes,” replied Sweater, “but I’ll explain that later. What I’m concerned about is the drains. Did you bring the plans?”
“Yes.”
“Yup.”
“What’s it going to cost?”
“How much will it cost?”
“Just wait a minute,” said Rushton, with a slight gesture calling Sweater’s attention to the presence of the two workmen. Sweater understood.
“Just wait a minute,” Rushton said, making a small gesture to get Sweater's attention on the two workmen nearby. Sweater got it.
“You might leave that for a few minutes, will you?” Rushton continued, addressing Owen and Easton. “Go and get on with something else for a little while.”
“You can leave that for a few minutes, right?” Rushton said, looking at Owen and Easton. “Why don’t you go do something else for a little while?”
When they were alone, Rushton closed the door and remarked: “It’s always as well not to let these fellows know more than is necessary.”
When they were alone, Rushton closed the door and said, “It’s always best not to let these guys know more than they need to.”
Sweater agreed.
Sweater approved.
“Now this ’ere drain work is really two separate jobs,” said Rushton. “First, the drains of the house: that is, the part of the work that’s actually on your ground. When that’s done, there will ’ave to be a pipe carried right along under this private road to the main road to connect the drains of the house with the town main. You follow me?”
“Now this drain work is actually two separate jobs,” said Rushton. “First, the drains for the house; that is, the part of the work that’s actually on your property. Once that’s done, there will need to be a pipe running all the way underneath this private road to the main road to connect the drains of the house with the town main. You with me?”
“Perfectly. What’s it going to cost for the lot?”
“Perfectly. How much is it going to cost for the whole thing?”
“For the drains of the house, £25.0.0. and for the connecting pipe £30.0.0. £55.0.0. for the lot.”
“For the drains of the house, £25.00 and for the connecting pipe £30.00. £55.00 for the whole thing.”
“Um! That the lower you can do it for, eh?”
“Um! Is that the lowest you can go for it, huh?”
“That’s the lowest. I’ve figured it out most carefully, the time and materials, and that’s practically all I’m charging you.”
"That's the absolute minimum. I've calculated everything really carefully—the time and materials—and that’s pretty much all I'm charging you."
The truth of the matter was that Rushton had had nothing whatever to do with estimating the cost of this work: he had not the necessary knowledge to do so. Hunter had drawn the plans, calculated the cost and prepared the estimate.
The truth is that Rushton had nothing to do with estimating the cost of this work: he didn't have the necessary knowledge to do so. Hunter had drawn the plans, calculated the cost, and prepared the estimate.
“I’ve been thinking over this business lately,” said Sweater, looking at Rushton with a cunning leer. “I don’t see why I should have to pay for the connecting pipe. The Corporation ought to pay for that. What do you say?”
“I’ve been thinking about this situation lately,” said Sweater, giving Rushton a sly grin. “I don’t understand why I should have to cover the cost of the connecting pipe. The Corporation should take care of that. What do you think?”
Rushton laughed. “I don’t see why not,” he replied.
Rushton laughed. “I don’t see why not,” he said.
“I think we could arrange it all right, don’t you?” Sweater went on. “Anyhow, the work will have to be done, so you’d better let ’em get on with it. £55.0.0. covers both jobs, you say?”
“I think we can figure it out, don’t you?” Sweater continued. “Either way, the work needs to be done, so you should let them get started. £55.0.0. covers both jobs, right?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“Oh, all right, you get on with it and we’ll see what can be done with the Corporation later on.”
“Oh, fine, you go ahead and we’ll figure out what to do with the Corporation later.”
“I don’t suppose we’ll find ’em very difficult to deal with,” said Rushton with a grin, and Sweater smiled agreement.
“I don’t think we’ll find them very hard to deal with,” said Rushton with a grin, and Sweater nodded in agreement.
As they were passing through the hall they met Hunter, who had just arrived. He was rather surprised to see them, as he knew nothing of their appointment. He wished them “Good morning” in an awkward hesitating undertone as if he were doubtful how his greeting would be received. Sweater nodded slightly, but Rushton ignored him altogether and Nimrod passed on looking and feeling like a disreputable cur that had just been kicked.
As they walked through the hall, they ran into Hunter, who had just arrived. He was quite surprised to see them since he wasn't aware of their meeting. He awkwardly said "Good morning" in a hesitant tone, unsure of how they would react. Sweater gave a slight nod, but Rushton completely ignored him, and Nimrod moved on, looking and feeling like a disgraced dog that had just been kicked.
As Sweater and Rushton walked together about the house, Hunter hovered about them at a respectable distance, hoping that presently some notice might be taken of him. His dismal countenance became even longer than usual when he observed that they were about to leave the house without appearing even to know that he was there. However, just as they were going out, Rushton paused on the threshold and called him:
As Sweater and Rushton strolled around the house, Hunter lingered nearby at a respectful distance, hoping they would eventually acknowledge him. His gloomy expression grew even more pronounced when he saw they were about to leave without seeming to notice he was there. However, just as they were about to step outside, Rushton stopped at the door and called him:
“Mr Hunter!”
“Mr. Hunter!”
“Yes, sir.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Nimrod ran to him like a dog taken notice of by his master: if he had possessed a tail, it is probable that he would have wagged it. Rushton gave him the plans with an intimation that the work was to be proceeded with.
Nimrod ran to him like a dog that spotted its owner: if he had a tail, he probably would have wagged it. Rushton handed him the plans, indicating that they were to move forward with the work.
For some time after they were gone, Hunter crawled silently about the house, in and out of the rooms, up and down the corridors and the staircases. After a while he went into the room where Newman was and stood quietly watching him for about ten minutes as he worked. The man was painting the skirting, and just then he came to a part that was split in several places, so he took his knife and began to fill the cracks with putty. He was so nervous under Hunter’s scrutiny that his hand trembled to such an extent that it took him about twice as long as it should have done, and Hunter told him so with brutal directness.
For a while after they left, Hunter moved quietly around the house, going in and out of rooms, up and down the hallways and stairs. Eventually, he entered the room where Newman was and stood silently watching him for about ten minutes as he worked. The man was painting the baseboards, and just then, he reached a section that was cracked in several places, so he took out his knife and started filling the gaps with putty. He was so nervous under Hunter's watchful gaze that his hand shook to the point that it took him about twice as long as it should have, and Hunter pointed this out to him with brutal honesty.
“Never mind about puttying up such little cracks as them!” he shouted. “Fill ’em up with the paint. We can’t afford to pay you for messing about like that!”
“Forget about fixing those tiny cracks!” he shouted. “Just paint over them. We can’t afford to pay you for messing around like that!”
Newman made no reply.
Newman didn’t respond.
Misery found no excuse for bullying anyone else, because they were all tearing into it for all they were worth. As he wandered up and down the house like an evil spirit, he was followed by the furtively unfriendly glances of the men, who cursed him in their hearts as he passed.
Misery had no reason to take it out on anyone else since everyone was going after it with full force. As he roamed around the house like a dark shadow, he was trailed by the secretly hostile looks from the men, who silently cursed him as he walked by.
He sneaked into the drawing-room and after standing with a malignant expression, silently watching Owen and Easton, he came out again without having uttered a word.
He quietly slipped into the living room and stood there with a malicious look, silently watching Owen and Easton. Then he left again without saying a word.
Although he frequently acted in this manner, yet somehow today the circumstance worried Owen considerably. He wondered uneasily what it meant, and began to feel vaguely apprehensive. Hunter’s silence seemed more menacing than his speech.
Although he often behaved like this, today the situation troubled Owen a lot. He felt uneasy about what it meant and started to feel vaguely anxious. Hunter's silence felt more threatening than his words.
Chapter 10
The Long Hill
Bert arrived at the shop and with as little delay as possible loaded up the handcart with all the things he had been sent for and started on the return journey. He got on all right in the town, because the roads were level and smooth, being paved with wood blocks. If it had only been like that all the way it would have been easy enough, although he was a small boy for such a large truck, and such a heavy load. While the wood road lasted the principal trouble he experienced was the difficulty of seeing where he was going, the handcart being so high and himself so short. The pair of steps on the cart of course made it all the worse in that respect. However, by taking great care he managed to get through the town all right, although he narrowly escaped colliding with several vehicles, including two or three motor cars and an electric tram, besides nearly knocking over an old woman who was carrying a large bundle of washing. From time to time he saw other small boys of his acquaintance, some of them former schoolmates. Some of these passed by carrying heavy loads of groceries in baskets, and others with wooden trays full of joints of meat.
Bert arrived at the shop and quickly loaded the handcart with everything he had been sent to get and started his way back. He moved along fine in the town, since the roads were level and smooth, paved with wooden blocks. If only it had been that easy all the way, it would have been simple enough, even though he was a small boy dealing with such a big cart and a heavy load. While the wooden road lasted, his main challenge was seeing where he was going because the handcart was so high and he was so short. The pair of steps on the cart only made this worse. Still, by being very careful, he managed to get through the town without any major issues, though he came close to colliding with several vehicles, including a few cars and an electric tram, and almost knocked over an old woman carrying a large bundle of laundry. Occasionally, he spotted other boys he knew, some of them former classmates. Some of them passed by carrying heavy grocery loads in baskets, while others had wooden trays filled with cuts of meat.
Unfortunately, the wood paving ceased at the very place where the ground began to rise. Bert now found himself at the beginning of a long stretch of macadamized road which rose slightly and persistently throughout its whole length. Bert had pushed a cart up this road many times before and consequently knew the best method of tackling it. Experience had taught him that a full frontal attack on this hill was liable to failure, so on this occasion he followed his usual plan of making diagonal movements, crossing the road repeatedly from right to left and left to right, after the fashion of a sailing ship tacking against the wind, and halting about every twenty yards to rest and take breath. The distance he was to go was regulated, not so much by his powers of endurance as by the various objects by the wayside—the lamp-posts, for instance. During each rest he used to look ahead and select a certain lamp-post or street corner as the next stopping-place, and when he started again he used to make the most strenuous and desperate efforts to reach it.
Unfortunately, the wooden path ended right where the ground started to slope up. Bert now found himself at the beginning of a long stretch of paved road that gradually rose the whole way. He had pushed a cart up this road many times before, so he knew the best way to handle it. Experience had taught him that charging straight up the hill usually didn't work, so this time he stuck to his usual strategy of moving diagonally, crossing from right to left and left to right like a sailboat tacking against the wind, and stopping about every twenty yards to catch his breath. The distance he needed to cover was determined not so much by how much energy he had left, but by various objects along the way—like lamp-posts. During each break, he would look ahead and pick out a specific lamp-post or street corner as his next stopping point, and when he started again, he would make every effort to reach it.
Generally the goal he selected was too distant, for he usually overestimated his strength, and whenever he was forced to give in he ran the truck against the kerb and stood there panting for breath and feeling profoundly disappointed at his failure.
Generally, the goal he chose was too far away, as he often overestimated his strength. Whenever he had to give up, he would slam the truck against the curb and stand there, out of breath and feeling deeply disappointed in himself for failing.
On the present occasion, during one of these rests, it flashed upon him that he was being a very long time: he would have to buck up or he would get into a row: he was not even half-way up the road yet!
On this occasion, during one of these breaks, it suddenly hit him that he had been taking a very long time; he needed to step it up or he would get into trouble: he wasn't even halfway up the road yet!
Selecting a distant lamp-post, he determined to reach it before resting again.
Selecting a distant lamp post, he decided to reach it before taking another break.
The cart had a single shaft with a cross-piece at the end, forming the handle: he gripped this fiercely with both hands and, placing his chest against it, with a mighty effort he pushed the cart before him.
The cart had one shaft with a crossbar at the end, creating the handle: he clutched it tightly with both hands and, pressing his chest against it, he made a huge effort to push the cart ahead of him.
It seemed to get heavier and heavier every foot of the way. His whole body, but especially the thighs and calves of his legs, pained terribly, but still he strained and struggled and said to himself that he would not give in until he reached the lamp-post.
It felt like it got heavier and heavier with every step. His entire body, especially the thighs and calves of his legs, hurt like crazy, but he kept pushing through and told himself he wouldn't give up until he reached the lamp-post.
Finding that the handle hurt his chest, he lowered it to his waist, but that being even more painful he raised it again to his chest, and struggled savagely on, panting for breath and with his heart beating wildly.
Finding that the handle hurt his chest, he lowered it to his waist, but that was even more painful, so he raised it again to his chest and fought fiercely on, gasping for breath and with his heart racing wildly.
The cart became heavier and heavier. After a while it seemed to the boy as if there were someone at the front of it trying to push him back down the hill. This was such a funny idea that for a moment he felt inclined to laugh, but the inclination went almost as soon as it came and was replaced by the dread that he would not be able to hold out long enough to reach the lamp-post, after all. Clenching his teeth, he made a tremendous effort and staggered forward two or three more steps and then—the cart stopped. He struggled with it despairingly for a few seconds, but all the strength had suddenly gone out of him: his legs felt so weak that he nearly collapsed on to the ground, and the cart began to move backwards down the hill. He was just able to stick to it and guide it so that it ran into and rested against the kerb, and then he stood holding it in a half-dazed way, very pale, saturated with perspiration, and trembling. His legs in particular shook so much that he felt that unless he could sit down for a little, he would FALL down.
The cart got heavier and heavier. After a while, it felt to the boy as if someone was at the front trying to push him back down the hill. It was such a funny thought that he was momentarily tempted to laugh, but that feeling quickly faded, replaced by the fear that he wouldn’t be able to hold on long enough to reach the lamp-post after all. Gritting his teeth, he made a huge effort and staggered forward two or three more steps, and then—the cart stopped. He struggled with it desperately for a few seconds, but all his strength suddenly disappeared; his legs felt so weak that he nearly collapsed onto the ground, and the cart began to roll backward down the hill. He just managed to keep hold of it and steer it so that it ran into and rested against the curb. Then he stood there holding it in a half-dazed state, very pale, drenched in sweat, and trembling. His legs, in particular, shook so much that he felt like unless he could sit down for a bit, he would FALL down.
He lowered the handle very carefully so as not to spill the whitewash out of the pail which was hanging from a hook under the cart, then, sitting down on the kerbstone, he leaned wearily against the wheel.
He carefully lowered the handle to avoid spilling the whitewash from the bucket hanging from a hook under the cart. Then, sitting down on the curb, he leaned wearily against the wheel.
A little way down the road was a church with a clock in the tower. It was five minutes to ten by this clock. Bert said to himself that when it was ten he would make another start.
A short distance down the road was a church with a clock in the tower. It was five minutes to ten by this clock. Bert thought to himself that when it hit ten, he would try again.
Whilst he was resting he thought of many things. Just behind that church was a field with several ponds in it where he used to go with other boys to catch effets. If it were not for the cart he would go across now, to see whether there were any there still. He remembered that he had been very eager to leave school and go to work, but they used to be fine old times after all.
While he was resting, he thought about many things. Just behind that church was a field with several ponds where he used to go with other boys to catch fish. If it weren’t for the cart, he would go across now to check if there were any still there. He remembered that he had been very eager to leave school and start working, but those had been great times after all.
Then he thought of the day when his mother took him to Mr Rushton’s office to “bind” him. He remembered that day very vividly: it was almost a year ago. How nervous he had been! His hand had trembled so that he was scarcely able to hold the pen. And even when it was all over, they had both felt very miserable, somehow. His mother had been very nervous in the office also, and when they got home she cried a lot and called him her poor little fatherless boy, and said she hoped he would be good and try to learn. And then he cried as well, and promised her that he would do his best. He reflected with pride that he was keeping his promise about being a good boy and trying to learn: in fact, he knew a great deal about the trade already—he could paint back doors as well as anybody! and railings as well. Owen had taught him lots of things and had promised to do some patterns of graining for him so that he might practise copying them at home in the evenings. Owen was a fine chap. Bert resolved that he would tell him what Crass had been saying to Easton. Just fancy, the cheek of a rotter like Crass, trying to get Owen the sack! It would be more like it if Crass was to be sacked himself, so that Owen could be the foreman.
Then he thought about the day his mom took him to Mr. Rushton’s office to "bind" him. He remembered that day very clearly: it was almost a year ago. He had been so nervous! His hand trembled so much that he could barely hold the pen. And even when it was all over, they both felt pretty miserable for some reason. His mom had been really anxious in the office too, and when they got home, she cried a lot and called him her poor little fatherless boy, saying she hoped he would be good and try to learn. And then he cried too and promised her he would do his best. He felt proud that he was keeping his promise to be a good boy and try to learn: in fact, he already knew a lot about the trade—he could paint back doors as well as anyone! and railings too. Owen had taught him a lot and promised to give him some patterns of graining so he could practice copying them at home in the evenings. Owen was a great guy. Bert decided he would tell him what Crass had been saying to Easton. Just imagine, the nerve of a jerk like Crass trying to get Owen fired! It would be more appropriate if Crass got fired instead, so Owen could be the foreman.
One minute to ten.
One minute till ten.
With a heavy heart Bert watched the clock. His legs were still aching very badly. He could not see the hands of the clock moving, but they were creeping on all the same. Now, the minute hand was over the edge of the number, and he began to deliberate whether he might not rest for another five minutes? But he had been such a long time already on his errand that he dismissed the thought. The minute hand was now upright and it was time to go on.
With a heavy heart, Bert watched the clock. His legs were still really aching. He couldn't see the hands of the clock moving, but they were still creeping along. Now, the minute hand was past the edge of the number, and he started to wonder if he could rest for another five minutes. But he had already been on his errand for so long that he brushed the thought aside. The minute hand was now vertical, and it was time to keep going.
Just as he was about to get up a harsh voice behind him said:
Just as he was about to stand up, a harsh voice behind him said:
“How much longer are you going to sit there?”
“How much longer are you going to just sit there?”
Bert started up guiltily, and found himself confronted by Mr Rushton, who was regarding him with an angry frown, whilst close by towered the colossal figure of the obese Sweater, the expression on his greasy countenance betokening the pain he experienced on beholding such an appalling example of juvenile depravity.
Bert jumped up, feeling guilty, and saw Mr. Rushton looking at him with an angry frown. Nearby, the huge figure of the overweight Sweater loomed, his greasy face showing the disgust he felt at seeing such a terrible example of youthful misbehavior.
“What do you mean by sich conduct?” demanded Rushton, indignantly. “The idear of sitting there like that when most likely the men are waiting for them things?”
“What do you mean by that behavior?” Rushton asked, indignantly. “The idea of sitting there like that when the men are probably waiting for those things?”
Crimson with shame and confusion, the boy made no reply.
Crimson with shame and confusion, the boy said nothing.
“You’ve been there a long time,” continued Rushton, “I’ve been watchin’ you all the time I’ve been comin’ down the road.”
“You’ve been there a while,” Rushton continued, “I’ve been watching you the whole time I’ve been coming down the road.”
Bert tried to speak to explain why he had been resting, but his mouth and his tongue had become quite parched from terror and he was unable to articulate a single word.
Bert tried to explain why he had been resting, but his mouth and tongue were so dry from fear that he couldn't say a single word.
“You know, that’s not the way to get on in life, my boy,” observed Sweater lifting his forefinger and shaking his fat head reproachfully.
“You know, that’s not how you get ahead in life, my boy,” said Sweater, lifting his finger and shaking his head disapprovingly.
“Get along with you at once!” Rushton said, roughly. “I’m surprised at yer! The idear! Sitting down in my time!”
“Get out of here right now!” Rushton said harshly. “I’m shocked at you! The audacity! Sitting down during my time!”
This was quite true. Rushton was not merely angry, but astonished at the audacity of the boy. That anyone in his employment should dare to have the impertinence to sit down in his time was incredible.
This was completely true. Rushton was not just angry but shocked at the nerve of the boy. That anyone working for him would have the audacity to sit down on his time was unbelievable.
The boy lifted the handle of the cart and once more began to push it up the hill. It seemed heavier now that ever, but he managed to get on somehow. He kept glancing back after Rushton and Sweater, who presently turned a corner and were lost to view: then he ran the cart to the kerb again to have a breathe. He couldn’t have kept up much further without a spell even if they had still been watching him, but he didn’t rest for more than about half a minute this time, because he was afraid they might be peeping round the corner at him.
The boy grabbed the handle of the cart and started pushing it up the hill again. It felt heavier than ever, but he somehow managed to keep going. He kept looking back at Rushton and Sweater, who soon turned a corner and disappeared from sight. Then he ran the cart back to the curb to take a breath. He couldn't have gone much further without a break even if they were still keeping an eye on him, but he didn't rest for more than about half a minute this time because he was worried they might be sneaking a glance around the corner at him.
After this he gave up the lamp-post system and halted for a minute or so at regular short intervals. In this way, he at length reached the top of the hill, and with a sigh of relief congratulated himself that the journey was practically over.
After this, he abandoned the lamp-post system and stopped for a minute or so at regular short intervals. This way, he eventually reached the top of the hill and, with a sigh of relief, congratulated himself that the journey was almost over.
Just before he arrived at the gate of the house, he saw Hunter sneak out and mount his bicycle and ride away. Bert wheeled his cart up to the front door and began carrying in the things. Whilst thus engaged he noticed Philpot peeping cautiously over the banisters of the staircase, and called out to him:
Just before he got to the gate of the house, he saw Hunter sneak out, hop on his bike, and ride off. Bert rolled his cart up to the front door and started bringing in the items. While doing this, he noticed Philpot cautiously peeking over the staircase banister and called out to him:
“Give us a hand with this bucket of whitewash, will yer, Joe?”
“Can you help us out with this bucket of whitewash, Joe?”
“Certainly, me son, with the greatest of hagony,” replied Philpot as he hurried down the stairs.
“Of course, my son, with the utmost difficulty,” replied Philpot as he hurried down the stairs.
As they were carrying it in Philpot winked at Bert and whispered:
As they were carrying it in, Philpot winked at Bert and whispered:
“Did yer see Pontius Pilate anywheres outside?”
“Did you see Pontius Pilate anywhere outside?”
“’E went away on ’is bike just as I come in at the gate.”
“He rode away on his bike just as I came in through the gate.”
“Did ’e? Thank Gord for that! I don’t wish ’im no ’arm,” said Philpot, fervently, “but I ’opes ’e gets runned over with a motor.”
“Did he? Thank God for that! I don’t want any harm to come to him,” said Philpot, earnestly, “but I hope he gets run over by a car.”
In this wish Bert entirely concurred, and similar charitable sentiments were expressed by all the others as soon as they heard that Misery was gone.
In this wish, Bert completely agreed, and the same kind feelings were shared by everyone else as soon as they learned that Misery was gone.
Just before four o’clock that afternoon Bert began to load up the truck with the venetian blinds, which had been taken down some days previously.
Just before four o’clock that afternoon, Bert started loading the truck with the Venetian blinds that had been taken down a few days earlier.
“I wonder who’ll have the job of paintin’ ’em?” remarked Philpot to Newman.
“I wonder who will have the job of painting them?” Philpot said to Newman.
“P’raps’s they’ll take a couple of us away from ere.”
“Maybe they’ll take a couple of us away from here.”
“I shouldn’t think so. We’re short-’anded ’ere already. Most likely they’ll put on a couple of fresh ’ands. There’s a ’ell of a lot of work in all them blinds, you know: I reckon they’ll ’ave to ’ave three or four coats, the state they’re in.”
“I don’t think so. We’re already short-staffed here. They’ll probably bring in a couple of new workers. There’s a ton of work to do on all those blinds, you know: I figure they’ll need three or four coats, given how they look.”
“Yes. No doubt that’s what will be done,” replied Newman, and added with a mirthless laugh:
“Yes. No doubt that’s what will be done,” replied Newman, and added with a hollow laugh:
“I don’t suppose they’ll have much difficulty in getting a couple of chaps.”
“I don’t think they’ll have much trouble getting a couple of guys.”
“No, you’re right, mate. There’s plenty of ’em walkin’ about as a week’s work would be a Gordsend to.”
“No, you’re right, man. There are plenty of them walking around like a week’s paycheck would be a blessing to them.”
“Come to think of it,” continued Newman after a pause, “I believe the firm used to give all their blind work to old Latham, the venetian blind maker. Prap’s they’ll give ’im this lot to do.”
“Now that I think about it,” Newman continued after a pause, “I believe the firm used to send all their blind work to old Latham, the Venetian blind maker. Maybe they’ll give him this batch to do.”
“Very likely,” replied Philpot, “I should think ’e can do ’em cheaper even than us chaps, and that’s all the firm cares about.”
“Very likely,” replied Philpot, “I think he can do them cheaper than us guys, and that’s all the company cares about.”
How far their conjectures were fulfilled will appear later.
How much their predictions turned out to be true will become clear later.
Shortly after Bert was gone it became so dark that it was necessary to light the candles, and Philpot remarked that although he hated working under such conditions, yet he was always glad when lighting up time came, because then knocking off time was not very far behind.
Shortly after Bert left, it got so dark that they had to light the candles, and Philpot commented that even though he disliked working in those conditions, he was always happy when it was time to light them up because that meant quitting time was not far off.
About five minutes to five, just as they were all putting their things away for the night, Nimrod suddenly appeared in the house. He had come hoping to find some of them ready dressed to go home before the proper time. Having failed in this laudable enterprise, he stood silently by himself for some seconds in the drawing-room. This was a spacious and lofty apartment with a large semicircular bay window. Round the ceiling was a deep cornice. In the semi-darkness the room appeared to be of even greater proportions than it really was. After standing thinking in this room for a little while, Hunter turned and strode out to the kitchen, where the men were preparing to go home. Owen was taking off his blouse and apron as the other entered. Hunter addressed him with a malevolent snarl:
About five minutes to five, just as everyone was wrapping up for the night, Nimrod suddenly showed up in the house. He had come hoping to catch some of them ready to head home early. After failing in this noble effort, he stood quietly by himself in the drawing-room for a few seconds. It was a spacious and tall room with a large semicircular bay window. The ceiling had a deep cornice. In the dim light, the room seemed even bigger than it really was. After thinking for a bit, Hunter turned and walked out to the kitchen, where the men were getting ready to go home. Owen was taking off his shirt and apron as Hunter entered. Hunter addressed him with a spiteful sneer:
“You can call at the office tonight as you go home.”
“You can stop by the office tonight on your way home.”
Owen’s heart seemed to stop beating. All the petty annoyances he had endured from Hunter rushed into his memory, together with what Easton had told him that morning. He stood, still and speechless, holding his apron in his hand and staring at the manager.
Owen’s heart felt like it stopped. All the little annoyances he had put up with from Hunter flooded back into his mind, along with what Easton had told him that morning. He stood there, frozen and speechless, holding his apron in his hand and staring at the manager.
“What for?” he ejaculated at length. “What’s the matter?”
“What for?” he exclaimed finally. “What’s wrong?”
“You’ll find out what you’re wanted for when you get there,” returned Hunter as he went out of the room and away from the house.
“You’ll find out what you’re needed for when you get there,” Hunter replied as he left the room and walked away from the house.
When he was gone a dead silence prevailed. The hands ceased their preparations for departure and looked at each other and at Owen in astonishment. To stand a man off like that—when the job was not half finished—and for no apparent reason: and of a Monday, too. It was unheard of. There was a general chorus of indignation. Harlow and Philpot especially were very wroth.
When he left, there was a complete silence. The crew stopped getting ready to leave and exchanged shocked looks with each other and Owen. To dismiss a man like that—when the work wasn’t even halfway done—and for no obvious reason: and on a Monday, no less. It was unheard of. Everyone was indignant. Harlow and Philpot, in particular, were very angry.
“If it comes to that,” Harlow shouted, “they’ve got no bloody right to do it! We’re entitled to an hour’s notice.”
“If it comes to that,” Harlow shouted, “they have no right to do it! We deserve an hour’s notice.”
“Of course we are!” cried Philpot, his goggle eyes rolling wildly with wrath. “And I should ’ave it too, if it was me. You take my tip, Frank: CHARGE UP TO SIX O’CLOCK on yer time sheet and get some of your own back.”
“Of course we are!” yelled Philpot, his bulging eyes darting around with anger. “And I’d do the same if I were you. Take my advice, Frank: CLOCK IN UNTIL SIX O’CLOCK on your time sheet and get some payback.”
Everyone joined in the outburst of indignant protest. Everyone, that is, except Crass and Slyme. But then they were not exactly in the kitchen: they were out in the scullery putting their things away, and so it happened that they said nothing, although they exchanged significant looks.
Everyone joined in the outburst of indignant protest. Everyone, that is, except Crass and Slyme. But they weren't exactly in the kitchen; they were out in the scullery putting their things away, and so it happened that they said nothing, although they exchanged meaningful looks.
Owen had by this time recovered his self-possession. He collected all his tools and put them with his apron and blouse into his tool-bag with the purpose of taking them with him that night, but on reflection he resolved not to do so. After all, it was not absolutely certain that he was going to be “stood off”: possibly they were going to send him on some other job.
Owen had regained his composure by this point. He gathered all his tools and put them along with his apron and blouse into his tool bag, intending to take them with him that night. However, after thinking it over, he decided against it. After all, it wasn't entirely certain that he was going to be “stood off”; they might send him on another job instead.
They kept all together—some walking on the pavement and some in the road—until they got down town, and then separated. Crass, Sawkins, Bundy and Philpot adjourned to the “Cricketers” for a drink, Newman went on by himself, Slyme accompanied Easton who had arranged with him to come that night to see the bedroom, and Owen went in the direction of the office.
They all stuck together—some walking on the sidewalk and some in the street—until they reached downtown, and then they split up. Crass, Sawkins, Bundy, and Philpot headed to the "Cricketers" for a drink, Newman went on his own, Slyme went with Easton, who had made plans for him to come that night to check out the bedroom, and Owen walked toward the office.
Chapter 11
Hands and Brains
Rushton & Co.’s premises were situated in one of the principal streets of Mugsborough and consisted of a double-fronted shop with plate glass windows. The shop extended right through to the narrow back street which ran behind it. The front part of the shop was stocked with wall-hangings, mouldings, stands showing patterns of embossed wall and ceiling decorations, cases of brushes, tins of varnish and enamel, and similar things.
Rushton & Co.'s store was located on one of the main streets in Mugsborough and featured a double-fronted shop with plate glass windows. The shop stretched all the way to the narrow back street behind it. The front section was filled with wall hangings, moldings, display stands featuring patterns of embossed wall and ceiling decorations, cases of brushes, cans of varnish and enamel, and other similar items.
The office was at the rear and was separated from the rest of the shop by a partition, glazed with muranese obscured glass. This office had two doors, one in the partition, giving access to the front shop, and the other by the side of the window and opening on to the back street. The glass of the lower sash of the back window consisted of one large pane on which was painted “Rushton & Co.” in black letters on a white ground.
The office was at the back and was separated from the rest of the shop by a partition made of frosted Murano glass. This office had two doors: one in the partition that led to the front shop, and the other next to the window that opened onto the back street. The lower pane of the back window had a large piece of glass with “Rushton & Co.” painted in black letters on a white background.
Owen stood outside this window for two or three seconds before knocking. There was a bright light in the office. Then he knocked at the door, which was at once opened from the inside by Hunter, and Owen went in.
Owen stood outside the window for a couple of seconds before knocking. There was a bright light in the office. Then he knocked on the door, which was immediately opened from the inside by Hunter, and Owen went in.
Rushton was seated in an armchair at his desk, smoking a cigar and reading one of several letters that were lying before him. At the back was a large unframed photograph of the size known as half-plate of the interior of some building. At another desk, or rather table, at the other side of the office, a young woman was sitting writing in a large ledger. There was a typewriting machine on the table at her side.
Rushton was sitting in an armchair at his desk, smoking a cigar and reading one of several letters laid out in front of him. In the back, there was a large unframed photograph, half-plate size, showing the interior of some building. At another desk, or rather table, on the other side of the office, a young woman was writing in a large ledger. There was a typewriter on the table next to her.
Rushton glanced up carelessly as Owen came in, but took no further notice of him.
Rushton looked up absentmindedly when Owen walked in, but didn’t pay him any more attention.
“Just wait a minute,” Hunter said to Owen, and then, after conversing in a low tone with Rushton for a few minutes, the foreman put on his hat and went out of the office through the partition door which led into the front shop.
“Just wait a minute,” Hunter said to Owen. After talking quietly with Rushton for a few minutes, the foreman put on his hat and left the office through the partition door that led into the front shop.
Owen stood waiting for Rushton to speak. He wondered why Hunter had sneaked off and felt inclined to open the door and call him back. One thing he was determined about: he meant to have some explanation: he would not submit tamely to be dismissed without any just reason.
Owen stood there waiting for Rushton to say something. He wondered why Hunter had slipped away and felt tempted to open the door and bring him back. One thing he was sure about: he wanted some kind of explanation; he would not quietly accept being dismissed without a good reason.
When he had finished reading the letter, Rushton looked up, and, leaning comfortably back in his chair, he blew a cloud of smoke from his cigar, and said in an affable, indulgent tone, such as one might use to a child:
When he finished reading the letter, Rushton looked up, leaned back comfortably in his chair, blew a puff of smoke from his cigar, and said in a friendly, easygoing tone, like one might use with a child:
“You’re a bit of a hartist, ain’t yer?”
“You're a bit of an artist, aren't you?”
Owen was so surprised at this reception that he was for the moment unable to reply.
Owen was so taken aback by this welcome that he couldn't respond for a moment.
“You know what I mean,” continued Rushton; “decorating work, something like them samples of yours what’s hanging up there.”
“You know what I mean,” Rushton continued; “decorating work, something like those samples of yours that are hanging up there.”
He noticed the embarrassment of Owen’s manner, and was gratified. He thought the man was confused at being spoken to by such a superior person as himself.
He noticed how embarrassed Owen seemed and felt pleased. He thought the guy was flustered at being addressed by someone of his status.
Mr Rushton was about thirty-five years of age, with light grey eyes, fair hair and moustache, and his complexion was a whitey drab. He was tall—about five feet ten inches—and rather clumsily built; not corpulent, but fat—in good condition. He appeared to be very well fed and well cared for generally. His clothes were well made, of good quality and fitted him perfectly. He was dressed in a grey Norfolk suit, dark brown boots and knitted woollen stockings reaching to the knee.
Mr. Rushton was around thirty-five years old, with light gray eyes, fair hair and a mustache, and his complexion was a pale, dull color. He was tall—about five feet ten inches—and somewhat clumsily built; not overweight, but solid—in good shape. He seemed to be well-fed and generally well-kept. His clothes were well-made, high quality, and fit him perfectly. He was wearing a gray Norfolk suit, dark brown boots, and knitted wool socks that went up to his knees.
He was a man who took himself very seriously. There was an air of pomposity and arrogant importance about him which—considering who and what he was—would have been entertaining to any observer gifted with a sense of humour.
He was a man who took himself very seriously. There was an air of arrogance and self-importance about him that—given who he was—would have been amusing to anyone with a sense of humor.
“Yes,” replied Owen at last. “I can do a little of that sort of work, although of course I don’t profess to be able to do it as well or as quickly as a man who does nothing else.”
“Yes,” Owen finally replied. “I can do a bit of that kind of work, but of course, I’m not claiming I can do it as well or as quickly as someone who does it all the time.”
“Oh, no, of course not, but I think you could manage this all right. It’s that drawing-room at the “Cave”. Mr Sweater’s been speaking to me about it. It seems that when he was over in Paris some time since he saw a room that took his fancy. The walls and ceiling was not papered, but painted: you know what I mean; sort of panelled out, and decorated with stencils and hand painting. This ’ere’s a photer of it: it’s done in a sort of JAPANESE fashion.”
“Oh, no, of course not, but I think you could handle this just fine. It’s that drawing room at the “Cave.” Mr. Sweater has been talking to me about it. Apparently, when he was in Paris a while back, he saw a room that caught his eye. The walls and ceiling weren’t wallpapered, but painted—you know what I mean; kind of paneled and decorated with stencils and hand painting. Here’s a photo of it: it’s done in a sort of JAPANESE style.”
He handed the photograph to Owen as he spoke. It represented a room, the walls and ceiling of which were decorated in a Moorish style.
He handed the photograph to Owen as he spoke. It showed a room, with walls and a ceiling decorated in a Moorish style.
“At first Mr Sweater thought of getting a firm from London to do it, but ’e gave up the idear on account of the expense; but if you can do it so that it doesn’t cost too much, I think I can persuade ’im to go in for it. But if it’s goin’ to cost a lot it won’t come off at all. ’E’ll just ’ave a frieze put up and ’ave the room papered in the ordinary way.”
“At first, Mr. Sweater considered hiring a company from London to handle it, but he abandoned the idea because of the cost. However, if you can do it without spending too much, I think I can convince him to go for it. But if it’s going to be expensive, it won’t happen at all. He'll just have a frieze put up and have the room wallpapered the usual way.”
This was not true: Rushton said it in case Owen might want to be paid extra wages while doing the work. The truth was that Sweater was going to have the room decorated in any case, and intended to get a London firm to do it. He had consented rather unwillingly to let Rushton & Co. submit him an estimate, because he thought they would not be able to do the work satisfactorily.
This wasn't true: Rushton said it in case Owen wanted to be paid extra while doing the work. The reality was that Sweater planned to have the room decorated anyway and intended to hire a London firm for the job. He had reluctantly agreed to let Rushton & Co. give him an estimate because he doubted they could do the work satisfactorily.
Owen examined the photograph closely.
Owen studied the photo closely.
“Could you do anything like that in that room?”
“Could you do anything like that in this room?”
“Yes, I think so,” replied Owen.
“Yes, I think so,” Owen replied.
“Well, you know, I don’t want you to start on the job and not be able to finish it. Can you do it or not?”
“Well, you know, I don’t want you to start the job and then not be able to finish it. Can you do it or not?”
Rushton felt sure that Owen could do it, and was very desirous that he should undertake it, but he did not want him to know that. He wished to convey the impression that he was almost indifferent whether Owen did the work or not. In fact, he wished to seem to be conferring a favour upon him by procuring him such a nice job as this.
Rushton was confident that Owen could handle it and really wanted him to take it on, but he didn’t want Owen to realize that. He wanted to come off as if he didn’t really care whether Owen did the work or not. In reality, he aimed to give the impression that he was doing Owen a favor by getting him such a great opportunity.
“I’ll tell you what I CAN do,” Owen replied. “I can make you a watercolour sketch—a design—and if you think it good enough, of course, I can reproduce it on the ceiling and the walls, and I can let you know, within a little, how long it will take.”
“I’ll tell you what I CAN do,” Owen replied. “I can create a watercolor sketch—a design—and if you think it’s good enough, I can definitely reproduce it on the ceiling and the walls, and I’ll let you know shortly how long it will take.”
Rushton appeared to reflect. Owen stood examining the photograph and began to feel an intense desire to do the work.
Rushton seemed to think for a moment. Owen looked at the photograph and started to feel a strong urge to do the work.
Rushton shook his head dubiously.
Rushton shook his head skeptically.
“If I let you spend a lot of time over the sketches and then Mr Sweater does not approve of your design, where do I come in?”
“If I let you spend a lot of time on the sketches and then Mr. Sweater doesn’t approve your design, what’s my role in this?”
“Well, suppose we put it like this: I’ll draw the design at home in the evenings—in my own time. If it’s accepted, I’ll charge you for the time I’ve spent upon it. If it’s not suitable, I won’t charge the time at all.”
“Well, let’s put it this way: I’ll sketch the design at home in the evenings—on my own time. If you like it, I’ll bill you for the time I spent on it. If it doesn’t work, I won’t charge you for the time at all.”
Rushton brightened up considerably. “All right. You can do so,” he said with an affectation of good nature, “but you mustn’t pile it on too thick, in any case, you know, because, as I said before, ’e don’t want to spend too much money on it. In fact, if it’s going to cost a great deal ’e simply won’t ’ave it done at all.”
Rushton perked up a lot. “Okay. Go ahead,” he said with a fake cheerfulness, “but don’t overdo it, because, like I mentioned before, he doesn’t want to spend too much on it. Honestly, if it’s going to cost a lot, he just won’t have it done at all.”
Rushton knew Owen well enough to be sure that no consideration of time or pains would prevent him from putting the very best that was in him into this work. He knew that if the man did the room at all there was no likelihood of his scamping it for the sake of getting it done quickly; and for that matter Rushton did not wish him to hurry over it. All that he wanted to do was to impress upon Owen from the very first that he must not charge too much time. Any profit that it was possible to make out of the work, Rushton meant to secure for himself. He was a smart man, this Rushton, he possessed the ideal character: the kind of character that is necessary for any man who wishes to succeed in business—to get on in life. In other words, his disposition was very similar to that of a pig—he was intensely selfish.
Rushton knew Owen well enough to be sure that nothing would stop him from putting his best effort into this work. He was aware that if Owen took on the project, he wouldn’t cut corners just to finish quickly; in fact, Rushton didn’t want him to rush. All he wanted was to make it clear to Owen from the start that he shouldn’t spend too much time on it. Any profit from the job, Rushton intended to keep for himself. Rushton was a sharp guy, possessing the ideal traits needed for anyone who wants to succeed in business and get ahead in life. In other words, his nature was quite similar to that of a pig—he was extremely self-centered.
No one had any right to condemn him for this, because all who live under the present system practise selfishness, more or less. We must be selfish: the System demands it. We must be selfish or we shall be hungry and ragged and finally die in the gutter. The more selfish we are the better off we shall be. In the “Battle of Life” only the selfish and cunning are able to survive: all others are beaten down and trampled under foot. No one can justly be blamed for acting selfishly—it is a matter of self-preservation—we must either injure or be injured. It is the system that deserves to be blamed. What those who wish to perpetuate the system deserve is another question.
No one has the right to judge him for this, because everyone living under the current system practices selfishness to some extent. We have to be selfish; the system demands it. We need to be selfish, or we’ll end up hungry, destitute, and eventually dead in the streets. The more selfish we are, the better off we’ll be. In the “Battle of Life,” only the selfish and shrewd can survive; everyone else gets crushed and left behind. No one can reasonably be blamed for acting selfishly—it's about self-preservation—we must either hurt others or be hurt ourselves. The system is what deserves blame. What those who want to keep the system intact deserve is a different question.
“When do you think you’ll have the drawings ready?” inquired Rushton. “Can you get them done tonight?”
“When do you think you’ll have the drawings ready?” Rushton asked. “Can you finish them tonight?”
“I’m afraid not,” replied Owen, feeling inclined to laugh at the absurdity of the question. “It will need a little thinking about.”
“I’m afraid not,” replied Owen, feeling like laughing at how ridiculous the question was. “It'll take a bit of thought.”
“When can you have them ready then? This is Monday. Wednesday morning?”
“When can you have them ready? It's Monday. How about Wednesday morning?”
Owen hesitated.
Owen paused.
“We don’t want to keep ’im waiting too long, you know, or ’e may give up the idear altogether.”
“We don’t want to keep him waiting too long, you know, or he might give up the idea altogether.”
“Well, say Friday morning, then,” said Owen, resolving that he would stay up all night if necessary to get it done.
“Well, let’s say Friday morning, then,” Owen said, deciding he would stay up all night if he had to in order to finish it.
Rushton shook his head.
Rushton shook his head.
“Can’t you get it done before that? I’m afraid that if we keeps ’im waiting all that time we may lose the job altogether.”
“Can’t you finish it before then? I’m worried that if we keep him waiting that long, we might lose the job completely.”
“I can’t get them done any quicker in my spare time,” returned Owen, flushing. “If you like to let me stay home tomorrow and charge the time the same as if I had gone to work at the house, I could go to my ordinary work on Wednesday and let you have the drawings on Thursday morning.”
“I can’t finish them any faster in my free time,” Owen replied, blushing. “If you’d let me stay home tomorrow and count that time as if I had gone to work at the office, I could do my regular job on Wednesday and have the drawings ready for you on Thursday morning.”
“Oh, all right,” said Rushton as he returned to the perusal of his letters.
“Oh, fine,” said Rushton as he went back to looking through his letters.
That night, long after his wife and Frankie were asleep, Owen worked in the sitting-room, searching through old numbers of the Decorators’ Journal and through the illustrations in other books of designs for examples of Moorish work, and making rough sketches in pencil.
That night, long after his wife and Frankie had fallen asleep, Owen sat in the living room, browsing through old issues of the Decorators' Journal and flipping through illustrations in other design books to find examples of Moorish work. He was making rough sketches with a pencil.
He did not attempt to finish anything yet: it was necessary to think first; but he roughed out the general plan, and when at last he did go to bed he could not sleep for a long time. He almost fancied he was in the drawing-room at the “Cave”. First of all it would be necessary to take down the ugly plaster centre flower with its crevices all filled up with old whitewash. The cornice was all right; it was fortunately a very simple one, with a deep cove and without many enrichments. Then, when the walls and the ceiling had been properly prepared, the ornamentation would be proceeded with. The walls, divided into panels and arches containing painted designs and lattice-work; the panels of the door decorated in a similar manner. The mouldings of the door and window frames picked out with colours and gold so as to be in character with the other work; the cove of the cornice, a dull yellow with a bold ornament in colour—gold was not advisable in the hollow because of the unequal distribution of the light, but some of the smaller mouldings of the cornice should be gold. On the ceiling there would be one large panel covered with an appropriate design in gold and colours and surrounded by a wide margin or border. To separate this margin from the centre panel there would be a narrow border, and another border—but wider—round the outer edge of the margin, where the ceiling met the cornice. Both these borders and the margin would be covered with ornamentation in colour and gold. Great care would be necessary when deciding what parts were to be gilded because—whilst large masses of gilding are apt to look garish and in bad taste—a lot of fine gold lines are ineffective, especially on a flat surface, where they do not always catch the light. Process by process he traced the work, and saw it advancing stage by stage until, finally, the large apartment was transformed and glorified. And then in the midst of the pleasure he experienced in the planning of the work there came the fear that perhaps they would not have it done at all.
He didn't try to finish anything yet; he needed to think first. But he sketched out the general plan, and when he finally went to bed, he couldn't sleep for a long time. He almost imagined he was in the drawing-room at the "Cave." First, it would be necessary to remove the ugly plaster center flower with its cracks filled with old whitewash. The cornice was fine; thankfully, it was very simple, with a deep cove and not many decorations. Then, once the walls and ceiling were properly prepared, the decoration would begin. The walls would be divided into panels and arches featuring painted designs and lattice-work; the door panels would be decorated similarly. The moldings of the door and window frames would be highlighted with colors and gold to match the other work; the cove of the cornice would be a dull yellow with a bold colored ornament—gold wasn’t ideal in the hollow due to uneven light distribution, but some of the smaller moldings of the cornice should be gold. On the ceiling, there would be one large panel covered with an appropriate design in gold and colors, surrounded by a wide margin or border. To separate this margin from the center panel, there would be a narrow border, and another wider border around the outer edge of the margin, where the ceiling met the cornice. Both these borders and the margin would be adorned with decorations in color and gold. Careful thought would be needed when deciding which parts to gild because while large areas of gold can look flashy and tacky, lots of fine gold lines can be ineffective, especially on a flat surface, where they don’t always catch the light. Step by step, he traced the work, watching it progress until, finally, the large room was transformed and glorified. And then, amid the pleasure he felt in planning the work, came the fear that perhaps they wouldn’t get it done at all.
The question, what personal advantage would he gain never once occurred to Owen. He simply wanted to do the work; and he was so fully occupied with thinking and planning how it was to be done that the question of profit was crowded out.
The question of what personal benefit he would get never crossed Owen's mind. He just wanted to get the job done; and he was so focused on thinking and planning how to do it that the idea of profit was completely pushed aside.
But although this question of what profit could be made out of the work never occurred to Owen, it would in due course by fully considered by Mr Rushton. In fact, it was the only thing about the work that Mr Rushton would think of at all: how much money could be made out of it. This is what is meant by the oft-quoted saying, “The men work with their hands—the master works with his brains.”
But even though Owen never thought about what profit could come from the work, Mr. Rushton would eventually give it a lot of thought. In fact, it was the only aspect of the work that Mr. Rushton cared about: how much money could be made from it. This reflects the well-known saying, “The workers use their hands—the master uses his brain.”
Chapter 12
The Letting of the Room
It will be remembered that when the men separated, Owen going to the office to see Rushton, and the others on their several ways, Easton and Slyme went together.
It will be remembered that when the men parted ways, Owen headed to the office to see Rushton, while the others went their separate ways. Easton and Slyme went together.
During the day Easton had found an opportunity of speaking to him about the bedroom. Slyme was about to leave the place where he was at present lodging, and he told Easton that although he had almost decided on another place he would take a look at the room. At Easton’s suggestion they arranged that Slyme was to accompany him home that night. As the former remarked, Slyme could come to see the place, and if he didn’t like it as well as the other he was thinking of taking, there was no harm done.
During the day, Easton found a chance to talk to him about the bedroom. Slyme was about to leave his current lodging and told Easton that even though he was almost set on another place, he would check out the room. Following Easton’s suggestion, they agreed that Slyme would come home with him that night. As Easton pointed out, Slyme could see the place, and if he didn’t like it as much as the other option he was considering, it wouldn’t be a big deal.
Ruth had contrived to furnish the room. Some of the things she had obtained on credit from a second-hand furniture dealer. Exactly how she had managed, Easton did not know, but it was done.
Ruth had figured out how to furnish the room. Some of the items she had gotten on credit from a thrift furniture store. Exactly how she had pulled it off, Easton didn’t know, but it was done.
“This is the house,” said Easton. As they passed through, the gate creaked loudly on its hinges and then closed of itself rather noisily.
“This is the house,” said Easton. As they passed through, the gate creaked loudly on its hinges and then closed by itself rather noisily.
Ruth had just been putting the child to sleep and she stood up as they came in, hastily fastening the bodice of her dress as she did so.
Ruth had just finished putting the child to sleep and stood up as they walked in, quickly fastening the bodice of her dress as she did.
“I’ve brought a gentleman to see you,” said Easton.
“I’ve brought someone to see you,” said Easton.
Although she knew that he was looking out for someone for the room, Ruth had not expected him to bring anyone home in this sudden manner, and she could not help wishing that he had told her beforehand of his intention. It being Monday, she had been very busy all day and she was conscious that she was rather untidy in her appearance. Her long brown hair was twisted loosely into a coil behind her head. She blushed in an embarrassed way as the young man stared at her.
Although she knew he was looking for someone to share the room, Ruth hadn’t expected him to bring anyone home so suddenly, and she couldn't help wishing he had given her a heads-up about it. Since it was Monday, she had been really busy all day, and she realized she looked a bit disheveled. Her long brown hair was loosely twisted into a coil behind her head. She felt embarrassed as the young man stared at her.
Easton introduced Slyme by name and they shook hands; and then at Ruth’s suggestion Easton took a light to show him the room, and while they were gone Ruth hurriedly tidied her hair and dress.
Easton introduced Slyme by name, and they shook hands. Then, at Ruth’s suggestion, Easton grabbed a light to show him the room. While they were gone, Ruth quickly fixed her hair and dress.
When they came down again Slyme said he thought the room would suit him very well. What were the terms?
When they came down again, Slyme said he thought the room would be a great fit for him. What were the terms?
Did he wish to take the room only—just to lodge? inquired Ruth, or would he prefer to board as well?
Did he want to rent just the room—just to stay? Ruth asked, or would he prefer to have meals included too?
Slyme intimated that he desired the latter arrangement.
Slyme suggested that he preferred the latter option.
In that case she thought twelve shillings a week would be fair. She believed that was about the usual amount. Of course that would include washing, and if his clothes needed a little mending she would do it for him.
In that case, she thought twelve shillings a week would be fair. She believed that was about the usual amount. Of course, that would include washing, and if his clothes needed a bit of mending, she would take care of it for him.
Slyme expressed himself satisfied with these terms, which were as Ruth had said—about the usual ones. He would take the room, but he was not leaving his present lodgings until Saturday. It was therefore agreed that he was to bring his box on Saturday evening.
Slyme said he was happy with these terms, which were just what Ruth had mentioned—basically the standard ones. He would take the room, but he wouldn't be leaving his current place until Saturday. So, it was agreed that he would bring his box on Saturday evening.
When he had gone, Easton and Ruth stood looking at each other in silence. Ever since this plan of letting the room first occurred to them they had been very anxious to accomplish it; and yet, now that it was done, they felt dissatisfied and unhappy, as if they had suddenly experienced some irreparable misfortune. In that moment they remembered nothing of the darker side of their life together. The hard times and the privations were far off and seemed insignificant beside the fact that this stranger was for the future to share their home. To Ruth especially it seemed that the happiness of the past twelve months had suddenly come to an end. She shrank with involuntary aversion and apprehension from the picture that rose before her of the future in which this intruder appeared the most prominent figure, dominating everything and interfering with every detail of their home life. Of course they had known all this before, but somehow it had never seemed so objectionable as it did now, and as Easton thought of it he was filled with an unreasonable resentment against Slyme, as if the latter had forced himself upon them against their will.
When he left, Easton and Ruth stood silently looking at each other. Ever since the idea of letting the room had first come to them, they had been eager to make it happen; yet now that it was done, they felt dissatisfied and unhappy, as if they had just gone through some unavoidable tragedy. In that moment, they couldn't recall the darker times they had shared. The struggles and hardships seemed distant and insignificant compared to the fact that this stranger would now be sharing their home. For Ruth, it felt like the happiness of the past twelve months had abruptly ended. She recoiled with a deep aversion and anxiety at the thought of the future where this intruder loomed large, dominating everything and interfering with the details of their home life. Of course, they had known this would happen, but somehow it had never felt as intolerable as it did now, and as Easton considered it, he felt an unreasonable anger towards Slyme, as if Slyme had imposed himself on them against their wishes.
“Damn him!” he thought. “I wish I’d never brought him here at all!”
“Damn him!” he thought. “I wish I’d never brought him here!”
Ruth did not appear to him to be very happy about it either.
Ruth didn't seem very happy about it either.
“Well?” he said at last. “What do you think of him?”
“Well?” he finally said. “What do you think of him?”
“Oh, he’ll be all right, I suppose.”
“Oh, he’ll be fine, I guess.”
“For my part, I wish he wasn’t coming,” Easton continued.
“For my part, I wish he wasn’t coming,” Easton continued.
“That’s just what I was thinking,” replied Ruth dejectedly. “I don’t like him at all. I seemed to turn against him directly he came in the door.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Ruth replied, feeling down. “I really don’t like him. It was like I turned against him the moment he walked in the door.”
“I’ve a good mind to back out of it, somehow, tomorrow,” exclaimed Easton after another silence. “I could tell him we’ve unexpectedly got some friends coming to stay with us.”
“I’m seriously thinking about backing out of it, somehow, tomorrow,” Easton said after another pause. “I could tell him we have some friends coming over unexpectedly.”
“Yes,” said Ruth eagerly. “It would be easy enough to make some excuse or other.”
“Yes,” Ruth said excitedly. “It would be pretty easy to come up with some excuse or another.”
As this way of escape presented itself she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her mind, but almost in the same instant she remembered the reasons which had at first led them to think of letting the room, and she added, disconsolately:
As this escape option appeared, she felt like a weight had been lifted from her mind, but almost immediately, she remembered the reasons that had initially made them consider renting the room, and she said, sadly:
“It’s foolish for us to go on like this, dear. We must let the room and it might just as well be him as anyone else. We must make the best of it, that’s all.”
“It’s pointless for us to keep going like this, darling. We have to accept the situation, and it could just as easily be him as anyone else. We have to make the best of it, that's all.”
Easton stood with his back to the fire, staring gloomily at her.
Easton stood with his back to the fire, looking bleakly at her.
“Yes, I suppose that’s the right way to look at it,” he replied at length. “If we can’t stand it, we’ll give up the house and take a couple of rooms, or a small flat—if we can get one.”
“Yes, I guess that’s the right way to see it,” he said after a moment. “If we can’t handle it, we’ll give up the house and get a couple of rooms, or a small apartment—if we can find one.”
Ruth agreed, although neither alternative was very inviting. The unwelcome alteration in their circumstances was after all not altogether without its compensations, because from the moment of arriving at this decision their love for each other seemed to be renewed and intensified. They remembered with acute regret that hitherto they had not always fully appreciated the happiness of that exclusive companionship of which there now remained to them but one week more. For once the present was esteemed at its proper value, being invested with some of the glamour which almost always envelops the past.
Ruth agreed, even though neither option was very appealing. The unwelcome change in their situation did have its perks, because ever since they made this decision, their love for each other felt refreshed and stronger. They looked back with deep regret at how they hadn’t always valued the joy of their unique companionship, which now had only one week left. For once, the present was appreciated for what it was, wrapped in some of the nostalgia that usually surrounds the past.
Chapter 13
Penal Servitude and Death
On Tuesday—the day after his interview with Rushton—Owen remained at home working at the drawings. He did not get them finished, but they were so far advanced that he thought he would be able to complete them after tea on Wednesday evening. He did not go to work until after breakfast on Wednesday and his continued absence served to confirm the opinion of the other workmen that he had been discharged. This belief was further strengthened by the fact that a new hand had been sent to the house by Hunter, who came himself also at about a quarter past seven and very nearly caught Philpot in the act of smoking.
On Tuesday—the day after his interview with Rushton—Owen stayed home working on the drawings. He didn't finish them, but they were advanced enough that he thought he could complete them after tea on Wednesday evening. He didn’t go to work until after breakfast on Wednesday, and his continued absence made the other workers believe he had been let go. This idea was reinforced by the fact that Hunter had sent a new worker to the house, and he himself showed up around a quarter past seven and almost caught Philpot smoking.
During breakfast, Philpot, addressing Crass and referring to Hunter, inquired anxiously:
During breakfast, Philpot turned to Crass and, mentioning Hunter, asked nervously:
“’Ow’s ’is temper this mornin’, Bob?”
“How’s his temper this morning, Bob?”
“As mild as milk,” replied Crass. “You’d think butter wouldn’t melt in ’is mouth.”
“As gentle as milk,” Crass replied. “You’d think butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.”
“Seemed quite pleased with ’isself, didn’t ’e?” said Harlow.
“Seemed pretty satisfied with himself, didn’t he?” said Harlow.
“Yes,” remarked Newman. “’E said good morning to me!”
“Yes,” Newman said. “He said good morning to me!”
“So ’e did to me!” said Easton. “’E come inter the drorin’-room an’ ’e ses, ‘Oh, you’re in ’ere are yer, Easton,’ ’e ses—just like that, quite affable like. So I ses, ‘Yes, sir.’ ‘Well,’ ’e ses, ‘get it slobbered over as quick as you can,’ ’e ses, ‘’cos we ain’t got much for this job: don’t spend a lot of time puttying up. Just smear it over an’ let it go!’”
“So he did to me!” said Easton. “He came into the drawing room and he says, ‘Oh, you’re in here, are you, Easton?’—just like that, all friendly. So I said, ‘Yes, sir.’ ‘Well,’ he says, ‘get it done as quickly as you can,’ he says, ‘because we don’t have much for this job: don’t spend too much time fixing it up. Just slap it on and let it be!’”
“’E certinly seemed very pleased about something,” said Harlow. “I thought prap’s there was a undertaking job in: one o’ them generally puts ’im in a good humour.”
“'He certainly seemed very pleased about something,” said Harlow. “I thought maybe there was a job opportunity: one of those usually puts him in a good mood.”
“I believe that nothing would please ’im so much as to see a epidemic break out,” remarked Philpot. “Small-pox, Hinfluenza, Cholery morbus, or anything like that.”
“I think nothing would make him happier than to see an epidemic break out,” Philpot said. “Smallpox, influenza, cholera, or something like that.”
“Yes: don’t you remember ’ow good-tempered ’e was last summer when there was such a lot of Scarlet Fever about?” observed Harlow.
“Yes: don’t you remember how good-natured he was last summer when there was so much Scarlet Fever going around?” Harlow pointed out.
“Yes,” said Crass with a chuckle. “I recollect we ’ad six children’s funerals to do in one week. Ole Misery was as pleased as Punch, because of course as a rule there ain’t many boxin’-up jobs in the summer. It’s in winter as hundertakers reaps their ’arvest.”
“Yeah,” Crass said with a laugh. “I remember we had six children’s funerals to handle in one week. Old Misery was as happy as can be, because usually there aren’t many coffin jobs in the summer. It’s in winter that undertakers reap their harvest.”
“We ain’t ’ad very many this winter, though, so far,” said Harlow.
“We haven’t had very many this winter, though, so far,” said Harlow.
“Not so many as usual,” admitted Crass, “but still, we can’t grumble: we’ve ’ad one nearly every week since the beginning of October. That’s not so bad, you know.”
“Not as many as usual,” Crass admitted, “but still, we can’t complain: we’ve had one nearly every week since the beginning of October. That’s not too bad, you know.”
Crass took a lively interest in the undertaking department of Rushton & Co.’s business. He always had the job of polishing or varnishing the coffin and assisting to take it home and to “lift in” the corpse, besides acting as one of the bearers at the funeral. This work was more highly paid for than painting.
Crass was very interested in the undertaking department of Rushton & Co.’s business. He usually had the task of polishing or varnishing the coffin and helping to take it home and to “lift in” the body, in addition to being one of the bearers at the funeral. This work paid better than painting.
“But I don’t think there’s no funeral job in,” added Crass after a pause. “I think it’s because ’e’s glad to see the end of Owen, if yeh ask me.”
“But I don’t think there’s any funeral job in,” added Crass after a pause. “I think it’s because he’s glad to see the end of Owen, if you ask me.”
“Praps that ’as got something to do with it,” said Harlow. “But all the same I don’t call that a proper way to treat anyone—givin’ a man the push in that way just because ’e ’appened to ’ave a spite against ’im.”
“Maybe that has something to do with it,” said Harlow. “But still, I don’t think that’s a proper way to treat anyone—shoving a guy away like that just because he happened to hold a grudge against him.”
“It’s wot I call a bl—dy shame!” cried Philpot. “Owen’s a chap wots always ready to do a good turn to anybody, and ’e knows ’is work, although ’e is a bit of a nuisance sometimes, I must admit, when ’e gets on about Socialism.”
“It’s what I call a bloody shame!” cried Philpot. “Owen’s a guy who’s always ready to help anyone, and he knows his stuff, even though he can be a bit of a nuisance sometimes, I have to admit, when he goes on about Socialism.”
“I suppose Misery didn’t say nothin’ about ’im this mornin’?” inquired Easton.
“I guess Misery didn’t say anything about him this morning?” Easton asked.
“No,” replied Crass, and added: “I only ’ope Owen don’t think as I never said anything against ’im. ’E looked at me very funny that night after Nimrod went away. Owen needn’t think nothing like that about ME, because I’m a chap like this—if I couldn’t do nobody no good, I wouldn’t never do ’em no ’arm!”
“No,” replied Crass, and added: “I just hope Owen doesn’t think I ever said anything bad about him. He looked at me really strangely that night after Nimrod left. Owen shouldn’t think anything like that about ME, because I’m a guy like this—if I couldn’t do anyone any good, I’d never do them any harm!”
At this some of the others furtively exchanged significant glances, and Harlow began to smile, but no one said anything.
At this, some of the others exchanged meaningful looks in secrecy, and Harlow started to smile, but no one spoke up.
Philpot, noticing that the newcomer had not helped himself to any tea, called Bert’s attention to the fact and the boy filled Owen’s cup and passed it over to the new hand.
Philpot, seeing that the newcomer hadn’t poured himself any tea, pointed it out to Bert, who filled Owen’s cup and handed it over to the new guy.
Their conjectures regarding the cause of Hunter’s good humour were all wrong. As the reader knows, Owen had not been discharged at all, and there was nobody dead. The real reason was that, having decided to take on another man, Hunter had experienced no difficulty in getting one at the same reduced rate as that which Newman was working for, there being such numbers of men out of employment. Hitherto the usual rate of pay in Mugsborough had been sevenpence an hour for skilled painters. The reader will remember that Newman consented to accept a job at sixpence halfpenny. So far none of the other workmen knew that Newman was working under price: he had told no one, not feeling sure whether he was the only one or not. The man whom Hunter had taken on that morning also decided in his mind that he would keep his own counsel concerning what pay he was to receive, until he found out what the others were getting.
Their guesses about why Hunter was in such a good mood were all off. As you know, Owen hadn’t been let go at all, and nobody had died. The real reason was that Hunter, having decided to hire another person, easily found one willing to work for the same low rate that Newman was getting, since there were so many unemployed men. Until now, the usual pay rate in Mugsborough had been sevenpence an hour for skilled painters. You’ll remember that Newman agreed to take a job for sixpence halfpenny. So far, none of the other workers knew that Newman was working for less than the going rate: he hadn’t told anyone because he wasn’t sure if he was the only one doing it. The man Hunter hired that morning also decided to keep to himself what he was getting paid until he figured out what the others were earning.
Just before half past eight Owen arrived and was immediately assailed with questions as to what had transpired at the office. Crass listened with ill-concealed chagrin to Owen’s account, but most of the others were genuinely pleased.
Just before 8:30, Owen arrived and was immediately bombarded with questions about what happened at the office. Crass listened with barely hidden annoyance to Owen’s story, but most of the others were genuinely happy.
“But what a way to speak to anybody!” observed Harlow, referring to Hunter’s manner on the previous Monday night.
“But what a way to talk to anyone!” Harlow commented, referring to Hunter’s attitude the previous Monday night.
“You know, I reckon if ole Misery ’ad four legs, ’e’d make a very good pig,” said Philpot, solemnly, “and you can’t expect nothin’ from a pig but a grunt.”
“You know, I think if that old Misery had four legs, he’d be a really good pig,” Philpot said seriously, “and you can’t expect anything from a pig but a grunt.”
During the morning, as Easton and Owen were working together in the drawing-room, the former remarked:
During the morning, as Easton and Owen were working together in the living room, Easton said:
“Did I tell you I had a room I wanted to let, Frank?”
“Did I mention I have a room I want to rent out, Frank?”
“Yes, I think you did.”
"Yeah, I think you did."
“Well, I’ve let it to Slyme. I think he seems a very decent sort of chap, don’t you?”
"Well, I’ve given it to Slyme. I think he seems like a pretty decent guy, don’t you?"
“Yes, I suppose he is,” replied Owen, hesitatingly. “I know nothing against him.”
“Yes, I guess he is,” replied Owen, hesitantly. “I don’t know anything bad about him.”
“Of course, we’d rather ’ave the ’ouse to ourselves if we could afford it, but work is so scarce lately. I’ve been figuring out exactly what my money has averaged for the last twelve months and how much a week do you think it comes to?”
“Of course, we’d prefer to have the house to ourselves if we could afford it, but work has been so scarce lately. I’ve been calculating what my money has averaged over the last twelve months, and how much do you think it comes to each week?”
“God only knows,” said Owen. “How much?”
“God only knows,” Owen said. “How much?”
“About eighteen bob.”
“About eighteen bucks.”
“So you see we had to do something,” continued Easton; “and I reckon we’re lucky to get a respectable sort of chap like Slyme, religious and teetotal and all that, you know. Don’t you think so?”
“So you see, we had to take action,” Easton continued. “And I guess we’re lucky to have a decent guy like Slyme, religious and sober and all that, right? Don’t you think?”
“Yes, I suppose you are,” said Owen, who, although he intensely disliked Slyme, knew nothing definite against him.
“Yes, I guess you are,” said Owen, who, even though he strongly disliked Slyme, didn’t have any solid proof against him.
They worked in silence for some time, and then Owen said:
They worked quietly for a while, and then Owen said:
“At the present time there are thousands of people so badly off that, compared with them, WE are RICH. Their sufferings are so great that compared with them, we may be said to be living in luxury. You know that, don’t you?”
“At the moment, there are thousands of people who are in such dire situations that, compared to them, WE are RICH. Their suffering is so severe that, compared to them, we can say we are living in luxury. You understand that, right?”
“Yes, that’s true enough, mate. We really ought to be very thankful: we ought to consider ourselves lucky to ’ave a inside job like this when there’s such a lot of chaps walkin’ about doin’ nothing.”
“Yes, that's definitely true, buddy. We should really be grateful: we should see ourselves as lucky to have an easy job like this when there are so many guys out there doing nothing.”
“Yes,” said Owen: “we’re lucky! Although we’re in a condition of abject, miserable poverty we must consider ourselves lucky that we’re not actually starving.”
“Yes,” said Owen, “we’re fortunate! Even though we’re in a state of extreme, miserable poverty, we should count ourselves lucky that we’re not actually starving.”
Owen was painting the door; Easton was doing the skirting. This work caused no noise, so they were able to converse without difficulty.
Owen was painting the door; Easton was working on the skirting. This task was quiet, so they could chat easily.
“Do you think it’s right for us to tamely make up our minds to live for the rest of our lives under such conditions as that?”
“Do you think it's okay for us to just accept living the rest of our lives under these conditions?”
“No; certainly not,” replied Easton; “but things are sure to get better presently. Trade hasn’t always been as bad as it is now. Why, you can remember as well as I can a few years ago there was so much work that we was putting in fourteen and sixteen hours a day. I used to be so done up by the end of the week that I used to stay in bed nearly all day on Sunday.”
“No, definitely not,” Easton replied. “But things will get better soon. Trade hasn’t always been this bad. You can remember just like I can that a few years ago, there was so much work that we were putting in fourteen to sixteen hours a day. I used to be so worn out by the end of the week that I would stay in bed almost all day on Sunday.”
“But don’t you think it’s worth while trying to find out whether it’s possible to so arrange things that we may be able to live like civilized human beings without being alternately worked to death or starved?”
“But don’t you think it’s worth trying to figure out if we can arrange things so that we can live like civilized human beings without being constantly worked to death or starving?”
“I don’t see how we’re goin’ to alter things,” answered Easton. “At the present time, from what I hear, work is scarce everywhere. WE can’t MAKE work, can we?”
“I don’t see how we’re going to change anything,” Easton replied. “Right now, from what I hear, jobs are hard to find everywhere. We can’t CREATE jobs, can we?”
“Do you think, then, that the affairs of the world are something like the wind or the weather—altogether beyond our control? And that if they’re bad we can do nothing but just sit down and wait for them to get better?”
“Do you think that the events in the world are like the wind or the weather—completely out of our control? And that if they’re bad, we can only sit back and wait for them to improve?”
“Well, I don’t see ’ow we can odds it. If the people wot’s got the money won’t spend it, the likes of me and you can’t make ’em, can we?”
"Well, I don't see how we can change that. If the people with the money won't spend it, folks like you and me can't make them, can we?"
Owen looked curiously at Easton.
Owen looked curiously at Easton.
“I suppose you’re about twenty-six now,” he said. “That means that you have about another thirty years to live. Of course, if you had proper food and clothes and hadn’t to work more than a reasonable number of hours every day, there is no natural reason why you should not live for another fifty or sixty years: but we’ll say thirty. Do you mean to say that you are able to contemplate with indifference the prospect of living for another thirty years under such conditions as those we endure at present?”
“I guess you’re around twenty-six now,” he said. “That means you have about another thirty years to live. Of course, if you had proper food and clothing and didn’t have to work more than a reasonable number of hours every day, there’s no natural reason why you couldn’t live for another fifty or sixty years: but let’s say thirty. Are you really able to think without care about living for another thirty years under the conditions we’re facing right now?”
Easton made no reply.
Easton didn't respond.
“If you were to commit some serious breach of the law, and were sentenced next week to ten years’ penal servitude, you’d probably think your fate a very pitiable one: yet you appear to submit quite cheerfully to this other sentence, which is—that you shall die a premature death after you have done another thirty years’ hard labour.”
“If you were to break the law badly and got sentenced next week to ten years in prison, you’d probably think your situation was really unfortunate. Yet you seem to accept this other sentence quite cheerfully, which is—that you’ll die an early death after working hard for another thirty years.”
Easton continued painting the skirting.
Easton kept painting the trim.
“When there’s no work,” Owen went on, taking another dip of paint as he spoke and starting on one of the lower panels of the door, “when there’s no work, you will either starve or get into debt. When—as at present—there is a little work, you will live in a state of semi-starvation. When times are what you call ‘good’, you will work for twelve or fourteen hours a day and—if you’re VERY lucky—occasionally all night. The extra money you then earn will go to pay your debts so that you may be able to get credit again when there’s no work.”
“When there’s no work,” Owen continued, dipping his brush into the paint again as he spoke and starting on one of the lower panels of the door, “when there’s no work, you either starve or go into debt. When—like now—there’s a little work, you live in a constant state of near-starvation. When times are what you call ‘good,’ you’ll be working twelve or fourteen hours a day and—if you’re REALLY lucky—sometimes all night. The extra money you make will just go towards paying off your debts so you can get credit again when there’s no work.”
Easton put some putty in a crack in the skirting.
Easton filled a crack in the baseboard with some putty.
“In consequence of living in this manner, you will die at least twenty years sooner than is natural, or, should you have an unusually strong constitution and live after you cease to be able to work, you will be put into a kind of jail and treated like a criminal for the remainder of your life.”
“In living like this, you will likely die at least twenty years earlier than normal, or, if you have an unusually strong body and continue to live after you can’t work anymore, you’ll be treated like a prisoner for the rest of your life.”
Having faced up the cracks, Easton resumed the painting of the skirting.
Having dealt with the cracks, Easton went back to painting the skirting.
“If it were proposed to make a law that all working men and women were to be put to death—smothered, or hung, or poisoned, or put into a lethal chamber—as soon as they reached the age of fifty years, there is not the slightest doubt that you would join in the uproar of protest that would ensue. Yet you submit tamely to have your life shortened by slow starvation, overwork, lack of proper boots and clothing, and through having often to turn out and go to work when you are so ill that you ought to be in bed receiving medical care.”
“If someone suggested a law that said all working men and women should be killed—smothered, hung, poisoned, or put in a lethal chamber—once they turned fifty, there’s no doubt you would join the loud outcry of protest that would follow. Yet you quietly accept having your life cut short by slow starvation, overwork, inadequate clothing and footwear, and often having to go to work when you're too sick to even get out of bed and get medical care.”
Easton made no reply: he knew that all this was true, but he was not without a large share of the false pride which prompts us to hide our poverty and to pretend that we are much better off than we really are. He was at that moment wearing the pair of second-hand boots that Ruth had bought for him, but he had told Harlow—who had passed some remark about them—that he had had them for years, wearing them only for best. He felt very resentful as he listened to the other’s talk, and Owen perceived it, but nevertheless he continued:
Easton didn’t say anything. He knew all of this was true, but he had a decent amount of false pride that makes us hide our struggles and pretend we're better off than we really are. At that moment, he was wearing the second-hand boots that Ruth had bought for him, but he had told Harlow—who had made a comment about them—that he had owned them for years and only wore them on special occasions. He felt really upset as he listened to the other person's conversation, and Owen noticed it, but still he went on:
“Unless the present system is altered, that is all we have to look forward to; and yet you’re one of the upholders of the present system—you help to perpetuate it!”
“Unless the current system changes, that’s all we can expect; and yet you’re one of the supporters of the current system—you help to sustain it!”
“’Ow do I help to perpetuate it?” demanded Easton.
“'How do I help to keep it going?” demanded Easton.
“By not trying to find out how to end it—by not helping those who are trying to bring a better state of things into existence. Even if you are indifferent to your own fate—as you seem to be—you have no right to be indifferent to that of the child for whose existence in this world you are responsible. Every man who is not helping to bring about a better state of affairs for the future is helping to perpetuate the present misery, and is therefore the enemy of his own children. There is no such thing as being neutral: we must either help or hinder.”
“By not trying to figure out how to change things—by not supporting those who are working to improve the situation. Even if you don’t care about your own future—as it seems—you have no right to be indifferent to the child whose life you’re responsible for. Any person who isn’t working to create a better future is helping to maintain the current suffering, and is therefore an enemy to their own children. There’s no such thing as neutrality: we must either help or hurt.”
As Owen opened the door to paint its edge, Bert came along the passage.
As Owen opened the door to paint its edge, Bert walked down the hallway.
“Look out!” he cried, “Misery’s comin’ up the road. ’E’ll be ’ere in a minit.”
“Watch out!” he yelled, “Misery’s coming down the road. He’ll be here in a minute.”
It was not often that Easton was glad to hear of the approach of Nimrod, but on this occasion he heard Bert’s message with a sigh of relief.
It wasn't common for Easton to be happy about Nimrod's arrival, but this time he received Bert's message with a sigh of relief.
“I say,” added the boy in a whisper to Owen, “if it comes orf—I mean if you gets the job to do this room—will you ask to ’ave me along of you?”
“I say,” the boy whispered to Owen, “if it comes off—I mean if you get the job to do this room—will you ask to have me with you?”
“Yes, all right, sonny,” replied Owen, and Bert went off to warn the others.
“Yes, okay, kid,” replied Owen, and Bert went off to let the others know.
Unaware that he had been observed, Nimrod sneaked stealthily into the house and began softly crawling about from room to room, peeping around corners and squinting through the cracks of doors, and looking through keyholes. He was almost pleased to see that everybody was very hard at work, but on going into Newman’s room Misery was not satisfied with the progress made since his last visit. The fact was that Newman had been forgetting himself again this morning. He had been taking a little pains with the work, doing it something like properly, instead of scamping and rushing it in the usual way. The result was that he had not done enough.
Unaware that he was being watched, Nimrod stealthily slipped into the house and began quietly moving from room to room, peeking around corners, squinting through door cracks, and looking through keyholes. He was almost pleased to see that everyone was working hard, but when he entered Newman’s room, Misery was not happy with the progress since his last visit. The truth was that Newman had slipped up again that morning. He had actually been putting some effort into the work, doing it somewhat properly instead of rushing through it like usual. The result was that he hadn’t done enough.
“You know, Newman, this kind of thing won’t do!” Nimrod howled. “You must get over a bit more than this or you won’t suit me! If you can’t move yourself a bit quicker I shall ’ave to get someone else. You’ve been in this room since seven o’clock this morning and it’s dam near time you was out of it!”
“You know, Newman, this kind of thing isn’t acceptable!” Nimrod shouted. “You need to step it up or you won’t work for me! If you can’t move a bit faster, I’ll have to find someone else. You’ve been in this room since seven o’clock this morning, and it’s about time you got out of it!”
Newman muttered something about being nearly finished now, and Hunter ascended to the next landing—the attics, where the cheap man—Sawkins, the labourer—was at work. Harlow had been taken away from the attics to go on with some of the better work, so Sawkins was now working alone. He had been slogging into it like a Trojan and had done quite a lot. He had painted not only the sashes of the window, but also a large part of the glass, and when doing the skirting he had included part of the floor, sometimes an inch, sometimes half an inch.
Newman mumbled something about being almost done now, and Hunter headed up to the next floor—the attics, where the cheap guy—Sawkins, the laborer—was working. Harlow had been taken off the attics to do some of the better jobs, so Sawkins was now on his own. He had been working really hard and had made a good amount of progress. He had painted not only the window frames but also a large portion of the glass, and while working on the skirting, he had also painted part of the floor, sometimes an inch, sometimes half an inch.
The paint was of a dark drab colour and the surface of the newly painted doors bore a strong resemblance to corduroy cloth, and from the bottom corners of nearly every panel there was trickling down a large tear, as if the doors were weeping for the degenerate condition of the decorative arts. But these tears caused no throb of pity in the bosom of Misery: neither did the corduroy-like surface of the work grate upon his feelings. He perceived them not. He saw only that there was a Lot of Work done and his soul was filled with rapture as he reflected that the man who had accomplished all this was paid only fivepence an hour. At the same time it would never do to let Sawkins know that he was satisfied with the progress made, so he said:
The paint was a dark, dull color, and the surface of the freshly painted doors looked a lot like corduroy fabric. From the bottom corners of almost every panel, large tears were trickling down, as if the doors were crying for the sad state of the decorative arts. But these tears didn’t stir any pity in Misery; nor did the corduroy-like texture bother him. He didn’t notice them at all. He only saw that a lot of work had been done, and his heart swelled with joy as he thought about how the person who did all this was only paid five pence an hour. At the same time, he knew he couldn’t let Sawkins know he was pleased with the progress, so he said:
“I don’t want you to stand too much over this up ’ere, you know, Sawkins. Just mop it over anyhow, and get away from it as quick as you can.”
“I don’t want you to linger too much here, you know, Sawkins. Just wipe it down however you can, and leave as soon as possible.”
“All right, sir,” replied Sawkins, wiping the sweat from his brow as Misery began crawling downstairs again.
“All right, sir,” replied Sawkins, wiping the sweat from his forehead as Misery started making her way down the stairs again.
“Where’s Harlow got to, then?” he demanded of Philpot. “’E wasn’t ’ere just now, when I came up.”
“Where’s Harlow gone to, then?” he asked Philpot. “He wasn’t here just now when I came up.”
“’E’s gorn downstairs, sir, out the back,” replied Joe, jerking his thumb over his shoulder and winking at Hunter. “’E’ll be back in ’arf a mo.” And indeed at that moment Harlow was just coming upstairs again.
“He's gone downstairs, sir, out the back,” replied Joe, pointing his thumb over his shoulder and winking at Hunter. “He'll be back in half a minute.” And indeed at that moment, Harlow was just coming upstairs again.
“’Ere, we can’t allow this kind of thing in workin’ hours, you know.” Hunter bellowed. “There’s plenty of time for that in the dinner hour!”
“Hey, we can't allow this kind of thing during working hours, you know.” Hunter shouted. “There's plenty of time for that during dinner hour!”
Nimrod now went down to the drawing-room, which Easton and Owen had been painting. He stood here deep in thought for some time, mentally comparing the quantity of work done by the two men in this room with that done by Sawkins in the attics. Misery was not a painter himself: he was a carpenter, and he thought but little of the difference in the quality of the work: to him it was all about the same: just plain painting.
Nimrod now went down to the living room, which Easton and Owen had been painting. He stood there lost in thought for a while, mentally comparing the amount of work done by the two men in this room with what Sawkins had done in the attics. Misery wasn’t a painter himself; he was a carpenter, and he didn’t think much about the difference in the quality of the work. To him, it was all pretty much the same: just plain painting.
“I believe it would pay us a great deal better,” he thought to himself, “if we could get hold of a few more lightweights like Sawkins.” And with his mind filled with this reflection he shortly afterwards sneaked stealthily from the house.
“I think it would benefit us a lot more,” he thought to himself, “if we could find a few more easy targets like Sawkins.” And with this thought on his mind, he soon slipped quietly out of the house.
Chapter 14
Three Children. The Wages of Intelligence
Owen spent the greater part of the dinner hour by himself in the drawing-room making pencil sketches in his pocket-book and taking measurements. In the evening after leaving off, instead of going straight home as usual he went round to the Free Library to see if he could find anything concerning Moorish decorative work in any of the books there. Although it was only a small and ill-equipped institution he was rewarded by the discovery of illustrations of several examples of which he made sketches. After about an hour spent this way, as he was proceeding homewards he observed two children—a boy and a girl—whose appearance seemed familiar. They were standing at the window of a sweetstuff shop examining the wares exposed therein. As Owen came up the children turned round and they recognized each other simultaneously. They were Charley and Elsie Linden. Owen spoke to them as he drew near and the boy appealed to him for his opinion concerning a dispute they had been having.
Owen spent most of dinner alone in the drawing room, making pencil sketches in his notebook and taking measurements. Later in the evening, instead of heading straight home like he usually did, he decided to stop by the Free Library to see if he could find any information about Moorish decorative work in the books there. Even though it was a small and poorly stocked place, he was pleased to discover illustrations of several examples, which he sketched. After about an hour, while he was making his way home, he noticed two kids—a boy and a girl—whose faces looked familiar. They were standing at the window of a candy shop, checking out the treats on display. As Owen approached, the kids turned around, and they recognized each other at the same time. They were Charley and Elsie Linden. Owen spoke to them as he got closer, and the boy asked him for his opinion on a disagreement they were having.
“I say, mister. Which do you think is the best: a fardensworth of everlasting stickjaw torfee, or a prize packet?”
“I say, mister. Which do you think is better: a fardensworth of everlasting stickjaw toffee, or a prize packet?”
“I’d rather have a prize packet,” replied Owen, unhesitatingly.
“I’d prefer a prize packet,” Owen replied confidently.
“There! I told you so!” cried Elsie, triumphantly.
“There! I told you so!” Elsie exclaimed triumphantly.
“Well, I don’t care. I’d sooner ’ave the torfee,” said Charley, doggedly.
“Well, I don’t care. I’d rather have the trophy,” said Charley, stubbornly.
“Why, can’t you agree which of the two to buy?”
“Why can’t you decide which one to buy?”
“Oh no, it’s not that,” replied Elsie. “We was only just SUPPOSING what we’d buy if we ’ad a fardin; but we’re not really goin’ to buy nothing, because we ain’t got no money.”
“Oh no, it’s not that,” replied Elsie. “We were just SUPPOSING what we’d buy if we had a fardin; but we’re not really going to buy anything, because we don’t have any money.”
“Oh, I see,” said Owen. “But I think I have some money,” and putting his hand into his pocket he produced two halfpennies and gave one to each of the children, who immediately went in to buy the toffee and the prize packet, and when they came out he walked along with them, as they were going in the same direction as he was: indeed, they would have to pass by his house.
“Oh, I get it,” said Owen. “But I think I have some money,” and reaching into his pocket, he pulled out two halfpennies and gave one to each of the kids. They quickly went in to buy the toffee and the prize packet, and when they came out, he walked along with them since they were headed the same way he was: in fact, they would need to pass by his house.
“Has your grandfather got anything to do yet?” he inquired as they went along.
“Does your grandfather have anything to do yet?” he asked as they walked along.
“No. ’E’s still walkin’ about, mister,” replied Charley.
“No. He’s still walking around, mister,” replied Charley.
When they reached Owen’s door he invited them to come up to see the kitten, which they had been inquiring about on the way. Frankie was delighted with these two visitors, and whilst they were eating some home-made cakes that Nora gave them, he entertained them by displaying the contents of his toy box, and the antics of the kitten, which was the best toy of all, for it invented new games all the time: acrobatic performances on the rails of chairs; curtain climbing; running slides up and down the oilcloth; hiding and peeping round corners and under the sofa. The kitten cut so many comical capers, and in a little while the children began to create such an uproar, that Nora had to interfere lest the people in the flat underneath should be annoyed.
When they got to Owen's door, he invited them inside to see the kitten they had been asking about on the way. Frankie was thrilled to have these two visitors, and while they enjoyed some homemade cakes that Nora had given them, he entertained them by showing off what was in his toy box and the kitten's playful antics, which were the best entertainment of all since it constantly came up with new games: doing acrobatics on the arms of the chairs, climbing the curtains, sliding up and down the oilcloth, and hiding to peek around corners and under the sofa. The kitten did so many funny things, and before long, the kids were making such a ruckus that Nora had to step in to prevent the people in the flat below from getting annoyed.
However, Elsie and Charley were not able to stay very long, because their mother would be anxious about them, but they promised to come again some other day to play with Frankie.
However, Elsie and Charley couldn’t stay for long because their mom would be worried about them, but they promised to come back another day to play with Frankie.
“I’m going to ’ave a prize next Sunday at our Sunday School,” said Elsie as they were leaving.
“I’m going to have a prize next Sunday at our Sunday School,” said Elsie as they were leaving.
“What are you going to get it for?” asked Nora.
“What are you planning to get it for?” asked Nora.
“’Cause I learned my text properly. I had to learn the whole of the first chapter of Matthew by heart and I never made one single mistake! So teacher said she’d give me a nice book next Sunday.”
“'Cause I learned my lines properly. I had to memorize the entire first chapter of Matthew, and I didn't make a single mistake! So the teacher said she’d give me a nice book next Sunday.”
“I ’ad one too, the other week, about six months ago, didn’t I, Elsie?” said Charley.
"I had one too, the other week, about six months ago, didn't I, Elsie?" said Charley.
“Yes,” replied Elsie and added: “Do they give prizes at your Sunday School, Frankie?”
“Yes,” replied Elsie, and added, “Do they give out prizes at your Sunday School, Frankie?”
“I don’t go to Sunday School.”
“I don’t go to Sunday School.”
“Ain’t you never been?” said Charley in a tone of surprise.
“Aren’t you ever been?” Charley said, sounding surprised.
“No,” replied Frankie. “Dad says I have quite enough of school all the week.”
“No,” Frankie replied. “Dad says I have plenty of school all week.”
“You ought to come to ours, man!” urged Charley. “It’s not like being in school at all! And we ’as a treat in the summer, and prizes and sometimes a magic lantern ’tainment. It ain’t ’arf all right, I can tell you.”
“You should come over to our place, man!” Charley insisted. “It’s nothing like being in school! We have a summer treat, and prizes, and sometimes a magic lantern show. It’s really great, I promise you.”
Frankie looked inquiringly at his mother.
Frankie looked questioningly at his mom.
“Might I go, Mum?”
"Can I go, Mom?"
“Yes, if you like, dear.”
“Sure, if you want, dear.”
“But I don’t know the way.”
“But I don’t know the way.”
“Oh, it’s not far from ’ere,” cried Charley. “We ’as to pass by your ’ouse when we’re goin’, so I’ll call for you on Sunday if you like.”
“Oh, it’s not far from here,” Charley exclaimed. “We have to pass by your house when we go, so I’ll pick you up on Sunday if you want.”
“It’s only just round in Duke Street; you know, the ‘Shining Light Chapel’,” said Elsie. “It commences at three o’clock.”
“It’s just around the corner on Duke Street; you know, the ‘Shining Light Chapel,’” said Elsie. “It starts at three o’clock.”
“All right,” said Nora. “I’ll have Frankie ready at a quarter to three. But now you must run home as fast as you can. Did you like those cakes?”
“All right,” said Nora. “I’ll have Frankie ready at 2:45. But now you need to run home as fast as you can. Did you enjoy those cakes?”
“Yes, thank you very much,” answered Elsie.
“Yes, thank you so much,” replied Elsie.
“Not ’arf!” said Charley.
“Not half!” said Charley.
“Does your mother make cakes for you sometimes?”
“Does your mom make cakes for you sometimes?”
“She used to, but she’s too busy now, making blouses and one thing and another,” Elsie answered.
“She used to, but she’s too busy now, making blouses and doing this and that,” Elsie answered.
“I suppose she hasn’t much time for cooking,” said Nora, “so I’ve wrapped up some more of those cakes in this parcel for you to take home for tomorrow. I think you can manage to carry it all right, can’t you, Charley?”
“I guess she doesn't have much time for cooking,” said Nora, “so I’ve packed up some more of those cakes in this parcel for you to take home for tomorrow. I think you can handle carrying it, right, Charley?”
“I think I’d better carry it myself,” said Elsie. “Charley’s SO careless, he’s sure to lose some of them.”
“I think I should just carry it myself,” said Elsie. “Charley is so careless, he’s bound to lose some of them.”
“I ain’t no more careless than you are,” cried Charley, indignantly. “What about the time you dropped the quarter of butter you was sent for in the mud?”
“I’m not any more careless than you are,” Charley shouted, indignantly. “What about the time you dropped the quarter of butter you went to get in the mud?”
“That wasn’t carelessness: that was an accident, and it wasn’t butter at all: it was margarine, so there!”
“That wasn’t carelessness: that was an accident, and it wasn’t butter at all: it was margarine, so there!”
Eventually it was arranged that they were to carry the parcel in turns, Elsie to have first innings. Frankie went downstairs to the front door with them to see them off, and as they went down the street he shouted after them:
Eventually, they decided to take turns carrying the parcel, with Elsie going first. Frankie went downstairs to the front door with them to send them off, and as they walked down the street, he called out after them:
“Mind you remember, next Sunday!”
"Don’t forget, next Sunday!"
“All right,” Charley shouted back. “We shan’t forget.”
“Okay,” Charley shouted back. “We won’t forget.”
On Thursday Owen stayed at home until after breakfast to finish the designs which he had promised to have ready that morning.
On Thursday, Owen stayed home until after breakfast to finish the designs he had promised to have ready that morning.
When he took them to the office at nine o’clock, the hour at which he had arranged to meet Rushton, the latter had not yet arrived, and he did not put in an appearance until half an hour later. Like the majority of people who do brain work, he needed a great deal more rest than those who do only mere physical labour.
When he brought them to the office at nine o'clock, the time he had set to meet Rushton, Rushton hadn't shown up yet, and he didn't arrive until half an hour later. Like most people who do mental work, he needed a lot more rest than those who only do physical labor.
“Oh, you’ve brought them sketches, I suppose,” he remarked in a surly tone as he came in. “You know, there was no need for you to wait: you could ’ave left ’em ’ere and gone on to your job.”
“Oh, you’ve brought the sketches, I guess,” he said in a grumpy tone as he came in. “You know, you didn’t have to wait: you could have just left them here and gone on to your job.”
He sat down at his desk and looked carelessly at the drawing that Owen handed to him. It was on a sheet of paper about twenty-four by eighteen inches. The design was drawn with pencil and one half of it was coloured.
He sat down at his desk and glanced absently at the drawing that Owen gave him. It was on a sheet of paper about twenty-four by eighteen inches. The design was sketched with a pencil and half of it was colored.
“That’s for the ceiling,” said Owen. “I hadn’t time to colour all of it.”
“That’s for the ceiling,” Owen said. “I didn’t have time to paint all of it.”
With an affectation of indifference, Rushton laid the drawing down and took the other which Owen handed to him.
With a pretended indifference, Rushton set the drawing aside and took the other one that Owen handed to him.
“This is for the large wall. The same design would be adapted for the other walls; and this one shows the door and the panels under the window.”
“This is for the big wall. The same design will be modified for the other walls; and this one shows the door and the panels under the window.”
Rushton expressed no opinion about the merits of the drawings. He examined them carelessly one after the other, and then, laying them down, he inquired:
Rushton didn’t share his thoughts on the value of the drawings. He looked at them haphazardly, one after another, and then, after putting them down, he asked:
“How long would it take you to do this work—if we get the job?”
“How long would it take you to complete this work—if we get the job?”
“About three weeks: say 150 hours. That is—the decorative work only. Of course, the walls and ceiling would have to be painted first: they will need three coats of white.”
“About three weeks: that’s around 150 hours. That is—the decorative work only. Of course, the walls and ceiling will have to be painted first: they will need three coats of white.”
Rushton scribbled a note on a piece of paper.
Rushton quickly wrote a note on a piece of paper.
“Well,” he said, after a pause, “you can leave these ’ere and I’ll see Mr Sweater about it and tell ’im what it will cost, and if he decides to have it done I’ll let you know.”
“Well,” he said after a moment, “you can leave these here, and I’ll talk to Mr. Sweater about it and let him know what it will cost. If he decides to move forward, I’ll get back to you.”
He put the drawings aside with the air of a man who has other matters to attend to, and began to open one of the several letters that were on his desk. He meant this as an intimation that the audience was at an end and that he desired the “hand” to retire from the presence. Owen understood this, but he did not retire, because it was necessary to mention one or two things which Rushton would have to allow for when preparing the estimate.
He set the drawings aside like someone who has more important things to deal with and started to open one of the several letters on his desk. He intended this as a hint that the meeting was over and that he wanted the "hand" to leave the room. Owen got the message, but he didn’t leave because he needed to mention a couple of things that Rushton would need to consider when preparing the estimate.
“Of course I should want some help,” he said. “I should need a man occasionally, and the boy most of the time. Then there’s the gold leaf—say, fifteen books.”
“Of course I would want some help,” he said. “I would need a man sometimes, and the boy most of the time. Then there’s the gold leaf—let's say, fifteen books.”
“Don’t you think it would be possible to use gold paint?”
“Don’t you think it would be possible to use gold paint?”
“I’m afraid not.”
"Sorry, but no."
“Is there anything else?” inquired Rushton as he finished writing down these items.
“Is there anything else?” Rushton asked as he finished writing down these items.
“I think that’s all, except a few sheets of cartridge paper for stencils and working drawings. The quantity of paint necessary for the decorative work will be very small.”
“I think that’s about it, except for a few sheets of cartridge paper for stencils and working drawings. The amount of paint needed for the decorative work will be minimal.”
As soon as Owen was gone, Rushton took up the designs and examined them attentively.
As soon as Owen left, Rushton picked up the designs and studied them closely.
“These are all right,” he muttered. “Good enough for anywhere. If he can paint anything like as well as this on the walls and ceiling of the room, it will stand all the looking at that anyone in this town is likely to give it.”
“These are all fine,” he muttered. “Good enough for anywhere. If he can paint anything as well as this on the walls and ceiling of the room, it will hold up to all the attention that anyone in this town is likely to give it.”
“Let’s see,” he continued. “He said three weeks, but he’s so anxious to do the job that he’s most likely under-estimated the time; I’d better allow four weeks: that means about 200 hours: 200 hours at eight-pence: how much is that? And say he has a painter to help him half the time. 100 hours at sixpence-ha’penny.”
“Let’s see,” he continued. “He said three weeks, but he’s so eager to get the job done that he’s probably underestimated the time; I’d better plan for four weeks: that’s about 200 hours: 200 hours at eight pence: how much does that come to? And let’s say he has a painter to help him half the time. 100 hours at six pence and a half.”
He consulted a ready reckoner that was on the desk.
He checked a reference book that was on the desk.
“Time, £9.7.6. Materials: fifteen books of gold, say a pound. Then there’s the cartridge paper and the colours—say another pound, at the outside. Boy’s time? Well, he gets no wages as yet, so we needn’t mention that at all. Then there’s the preparing of the room. Three coats of white paint. I wish Hunter was here to give me an idea what it will cost.”
“Time, £9.7.6. Materials: fifteen gold books, about a pound. Then there’s the cartridge paper and the colors—let’s say another pound, at most. As for the boy’s time? Well, he doesn’t get paid yet, so we can skip that. Then there’s prepping the room. Three coats of white paint. I wish Hunter were here to give me an idea of the cost.”
As if in answer to his wish, Nimrod entered the office at that moment, and in reply to Rushton’s query said that to give the walls and ceiling three coats of paint would cost about three pounds five for time and material. Between them the two brain workers figured that fifteen pounds would cover the entire cost of the work—painting and decorating.
As if in response to his wish, Nimrod walked into the office at that moment, and in answer to Rushton's question, he said that painting the walls and ceiling with three coats would cost around three pounds five for labor and materials. Together, the two thinkers calculated that fifteen pounds would cover the total cost of the work—painting and decorating.
“Well, I reckon we can charge Sweater forty-five pounds for it,” said Rushton. “It isn’t like an ordinary job, you know. If he gets a London firm to do it, it’ll cost him double that, if not more.”
“Well, I think we can charge Sweater forty-five pounds for it,” said Rushton. “This isn’t just a regular job, you know. If he gets a London firm to do it, it’ll cost him twice that, if not more.”
Having arrived at this decision, Rushton rung up Sweater’s Emporium on the telephone, and, finding that Mr Sweater was there, he rolled up the designs and set out for that gentleman’s office.
Having made this decision, Rushton called Sweater’s Emporium on the phone, and, seeing that Mr. Sweater was there, he rolled up the designs and headed to his office.
The men work with their hands, and the masters work with their brains. What a dreadful calamity it would be for the world and for mankind if all these brain workers were to go on strike.
The men use their hands for labor, while the masters use their intellect for work. It would be a terrible disaster for the world and for humanity if all these thinkers decided to go on strike.
Chapter 15
The Undeserving Persons and the Upper and Nether Millstones
Hunter had taken on three more painters that morning. Bundy and two labourers had commenced the work of putting in the new drains; the carpenters were back again doing some extra work, and there was also a plumber working on the house; so there was quite a little crowd in the kitchen at dinner-time. Crass had been waiting for a suitable opportunity to produce the newspaper cutting which it will be remembered he showed to Easton on Monday morning, but he had waited in vain, for there had been scarcely any “political” talk at meal-times all the week, and it was now Thursday. As far as Owen was concerned, his thoughts were so occupied with the designs for the drawing-room that he had no time for anything else, and most of the others were only too willing to avoid a subject which frequently led to unpleasantness. As a rule Crass himself had no liking for such discussion, but he was so confident of being able to “flatten out” Owen with the cutting from the Obscurer that he had several times tried to lead the conversation into the desired channel, but so far without success.
Hunter had hired three more painters that morning. Bundy and two laborers had started working on the new drains; the carpenters were back doing some extra work, and there was also a plumber at the house, so there was quite a crowd in the kitchen at lunchtime. Crass had been waiting for the right moment to bring up the newspaper clipping he had shown to Easton on Monday morning, but he had waited in vain since there had been hardly any “political” talk during meals all week, and now it was Thursday. As for Owen, his mind was so focused on the designs for the drawing-room that he had no time for anything else, and most of the others were more than willing to avoid a topic that often led to awkwardness. Generally, Crass didn't enjoy such discussions, but he was so sure he could "put Owen in his place" with the clipping from the Obscurer that he had tried several times to steer the conversation that way, but so far without any luck.
During dinner—as they called it—various subjects were discussed. Harlow mentioned that he had found traces of bugs in one of the bedrooms upstairs and this called forth a number of anecdotes of those vermin and of houses infested by them. Philpot remembered working in a house over at Windley; the people who lived in it were very dirty and had very little furniture; no bedsteads, the beds consisting of dilapidated mattresses and rags on the floor. He declared that these ragged mattresses used to wander about the rooms by themselves. The house was so full of fleas that if one placed a sheet of newspaper on the floor one could hear and see them jumping on it. In fact, directly one went into that house one was covered from head to foot with fleas! During the few days he worked at that place, he lost several pounds in weight, and of evenings as he walked homewards the children and people in the streets, observing his ravaged countenance, thought he was suffering from some disease and used to get out of his way when they saw him coming.
During dinner—what they called it—various topics came up. Harlow mentioned that he had found signs of bugs in one of the upstairs bedrooms, which led to a bunch of stories about those pests and homes infested with them. Philpot recalled working in a house over in Windley; the people living there were really dirty and had almost no furniture; no bed frames, just worn-out mattresses and rags on the floor. He claimed those ragged mattresses would move around the rooms on their own. The house was so infested with fleas that if you laid a sheet of newspaper on the floor, you could hear and see them jumping on it. In fact, as soon as you stepped into that house, you were covered from head to toe in fleas! During the few days he worked there, he lost several pounds, and in the evenings, as he walked home, the children and people in the streets would see his worn-out face and think he was sick, so they would move out of his way when they saw him coming.
There were several other of these narratives, four or five men talking at the top of their voices at the same time, each one telling a different story. At first each story-teller addressed himself to the company generally, but after a while, finding it impossible to make himself heard, he would select some particular individual who seemed disposed to listen and tell him the story. It sometimes happened that in the middle of the tale the man to whom it was being told would remember a somewhat similar adventure of his own, which he would immediately proceed to relate without waiting for the other to finish, and each of them was generally so interested in the gruesome details of his own story that he was unconscious of the fact that the other was telling one at all. In a contest of this kind the victory usually went to the man with the loudest voice, but sometimes a man who had a weak voice, scored by repeating the same tale several times until someone heard it.
There were several other stories like this, with four or five guys talking at the top of their lungs all at once, each sharing a different story. At first, each storyteller addressed the whole group, but after a while, realizing he couldn’t be heard, he would pick out someone who seemed interested and tell them his story. Sometimes, in the middle of the tale, the listener would remember a similar experience and jump in to share his own story without waiting for the other to finish. Both of them were usually so caught up in the gory details of their own stories that they didn’t even notice the other was talking. In a showdown like this, the one with the loudest voice usually won, but occasionally a person with a softer voice would succeed by repeating the same story until someone finally listened.
Barrington, who seldom spoke and was an ideal listener, was appropriated by several men in succession, who each told him a different yarn. There was one man sitting on an up-ended pail in the far corner of the room and it was evident from the movements of his lips that he also was relating a story, although nobody knew what it was about or heard a single word of it, for no one took the slightest notice of him...
Barrington, who rarely spoke and was a perfect listener, was taken on by several men one after another, each sharing a different story with him. In the far corner of the room, there was a man sitting on an overturned bucket, and it was clear from the way his lips moved that he was telling a story too, even though no one had a clue what it was about or heard a single word, as nobody paid him any attention...
When the uproar had subsided Harlow remembered the case of a family whose house got into such a condition that the landlord had given them notice and the father had committed suicide because the painters had come to turn ’em out of house and home. There were a man, his wife and daughter—a girl about seventeen—living in the house, and all three of ’em used to drink like hell. As for the woman, she COULD shift it and no mistake! Several times a day she used to send the girl with a jug to the pub at the corner. When the old man was out, one could have anything one liked to ask for from either of ’em for half a pint of beer, but for his part, said Harlow, he could never fancy it. They were both too ugly.
When the noise died down, Harlow remembered a family whose home had gotten so bad that the landlord had given them an eviction notice, and the father had killed himself when the painters came to throw them out. There was a man, his wife, and their daughter—a girl of about seventeen—living in the house, and all three of them drank heavily. The woman could really hold her liquor! Several times a day, she would send the girl with a jug to the pub around the corner. When the old man was out, you could get anything you wanted from either of them for half a pint of beer, but for his part, Harlow said he couldn't stand it. They were both too unattractive.
The finale of this tale was received with a burst of incredulous laughter by those who heard it.
The ending of this story was met with a wave of surprised laughter from those who heard it.
“Do you ’ear what Harlow says, Bob?” Easton shouted to Crass.
“Do you hear what Harlow is saying, Bob?” Easton yelled to Crass.
“No. What was it?”
“No. What was that?”
“’E ses ’e once ’ad a chance to ’ave something but ’e wouldn’t take it on because it was too ugly!”
“Once he had a chance to have something, but he wouldn’t take it because it was too ugly!”
“If it ’ad bin me, I should ’ave shut me bl—y eyes,” cried Sawkins. “I wouldn’t pass it for a trifle like that.”
“If it had been me, I would have shut my bloody eyes,” cried Sawkins. “I wouldn’t let it go for something so small.”
“No,” said Crass amid laughter, “and you can bet your life ’e didn’t lose it neither, although ’e tries to make ’imself out to be so innocent.”
“No,” said Crass with a laugh, “and you can bet your life he didn’t lose it either, even though he tries to act all innocent.”
“I always though old Harlow was a bl—y liar,” remarked Bundy, “but now we knows ’e is.”
“I always thought old Harlow was a bloody liar,” remarked Bundy, “but now we know he is.”
Although everyone pretended to disbelieve him, Harlow stuck to his version of the story.
Although everyone acted like they didn’t believe him, Harlow held on to his version of the story.
“It’s not their face you want, you know,” added Bundy as he helped himself to some more tea.
“It’s not their face you want, you know,” Bundy said as he poured himself more tea.
“I know it wasn’t my old woman’s face that I was after last night,” observed Crass; and then he proceeded amid roars of laughter to give a minutely detailed account of what had taken place between himself and his wife after they had retired for the night.
“I know it wasn’t my wife’s face that I was after last night,” Crass said, and then he went on, amid loud laughter, to give a detailed account of what happened between him and his wife after they went to bed.
This story reminded the man on the pail of a very strange dream he had had a few weeks previously: “I dreamt I was walkin’ along the top of a ’igh cliff or some sich place, and all of a sudden the ground give way under me feet and I began to slip down and down and to save meself from going over I made a grab at a tuft of grass as was growin’ just within reach of me ’and. And then I thought that some feller was ’ittin me on the ’ead with a bl—y great stick, and tryin’ to make me let go of the tuft of grass. And then I woke up to find my old woman shouting out and punchin’ me with ’er fists. She said I was pullin’ ’er ’air!”
This story reminded the man with the pail of a very strange dream he had a few weeks ago: “I dreamt I was walking along the edge of a high cliff or some place like that, and suddenly the ground gave way beneath my feet, and I started to slip down and down. To save myself from falling over, I grabbed a tuft of grass that was growing just within reach of my hand. Then I thought some guy was hitting me on the head with a huge stick and trying to make me let go of the tuft of grass. And then I woke up to find my wife yelling and punching me with her fists. She said I was pulling her hair!”
While the room was in an uproar with the merriment induced by these stories, Crass rose from his seat and crossed over to where his overcoat was hanging on a nail in the wall, and took from the pocket a piece of card about eight inches by about four inches. One side of it was covered with printing, and as he returned to his seat Crass called upon the others to listen while he read it aloud. He said it was one of the best things he had ever seen: it had been given to him by a bloke in the Cricketers the other night.
While the room was filled with laughter from these stories, Crass got up from his seat and went over to grab his overcoat hanging on a nail in the wall. He took out a card about eight inches by four inches from the pocket. One side was printed, and as he walked back to his seat, Crass urged the others to pay attention while he read it out loud. He said it was one of the best things he had ever come across: a guy in the Cricketers had given it to him the other night.
Crass was not a very good reader, but he was able to read this all right because he had read it so often that he almost knew it by heart. It was entitled “The Art of Flatulence”, and it consisted of a number of rules and definitions. Shouts of laughter greeted the reading of each paragraph, and when he had ended, the piece of dirty card was handed round for the benefit of those who wished to read it for themselves. Several of the men, however, when it was offered to them, refused to take it, and with evident disgust suggested that it should be put into the fire. This view did not commend itself to Crass, who, after the others had finished with it, put it back in the pocket of his coat.
Crass wasn't the best reader, but he could read this just fine because he had gone through it so many times that he almost knew it by heart. It was called “The Art of Flatulence,” and it included a bunch of rules and definitions. Laughter erupted after each paragraph was read, and when he finished, the dirty piece of cardboard was passed around for anyone who wanted to read it themselves. However, several of the guys refused to take it when it was offered to them and, clearly disgusted, suggested it should be burned. Crass didn’t agree with this idea, and after everyone else was done with it, he put it back in his coat pocket.
Meanwhile, Bundy stood up to help himself to some more tea. The cup he was drinking from had a large piece broken out of one side and did not hold much, so he usually had to have three or four helpings.
Meanwhile, Bundy got up to pour himself some more tea. The cup he was using had a big chunk broken out of one side and didn't hold much, so he usually had to fill it three or four times.
“Anyone else want any” he asked.
“Does anyone else want some?” he asked.
Several cups and jars were passed to him. These vessels had been standing on the floor, and the floor was very dirty and covered with dust, so before dipping them into the pail, Bundy—who had been working at the drains all morning—wiped the bottoms of the jars upon his trousers, on the same place where he was in the habit of wiping his hands when he happened to get some dirt on them. He filled the jars so full that as he held them by the rims and passed them to their owners part of the contents slopped over and trickled through his fingers. By the time he had finished the floor was covered with little pools of tea.
Several cups and jars were handed to him. These containers had been sitting on the floor, which was very dirty and coated with dust, so before dipping them into the bucket, Bundy—who had been working on the drains all morning—wiped the bottoms of the jars on his pants, the same spot he typically used to clean his hands when he got dirt on them. He filled the jars so full that as he held them by the rims and handed them to their owners, some of the contents spilled over and dripped through his fingers. By the time he finished, the floor was covered with small puddles of tea.
“They say that Gord made everything for some useful purpose,” remarked Harlow, reverting to the original subject, “but I should like to know what the hell’s the use of sich things as bugs and fleas and the like.”
“They say that Gord made everything for a purpose,” Harlow said, going back to the original topic, “but I’d really like to know what on earth the point is of things like bugs and fleas and stuff.”
“To teach people to keep theirselves clean, of course,” said Slyme.
"To teach people to keep themselves clean, of course," said Slyme.
“That’s a funny subject, ain’t it?” continued Harlow, ignoring Slyme’s answer. “They say as all diseases is caused by little insects. If Gord ’adn’t made no cancer germs or consumption microbes there wouldn’t be no cancer or consumption.”
"That’s a funny topic, isn’t it?” Harlow kept going, ignoring Slyme’s response. “They say that all diseases are caused by tiny bugs. If God hadn’t created cancer germs or tuberculosis microbes, there wouldn’t be any cancer or tuberculosis.”
“That’s one of the proofs that there ISN’T an individual God,” said Owen. “If we were to believe that the universe and everything that lives was deliberately designed and created by God, then we must also believe that He made his disease germs you are speaking of for the purpose of torturing His other creatures.”
“That’s one of the proofs that there isn’t an individual God,” said Owen. “If we’re going to believe that the universe and everything in it was intentionally designed and created by God, then we also have to believe that He created those disease germs you’re talking about just to torture His other creations.”
“You can’t tell me a bloody yarn like that,” interposed Crass, roughly. “There’s a Ruler over us, mate, and so you’re likely to find out.”
“You can’t spin a story like that,” Crass interrupted, sharply. “There’s someone watching over us, buddy, and you’ll soon find out.”
“If Gord didn’t create the world, ’ow did it come ’ere?” demanded Slyme.
“If Gord didn’t create the world, how did it get here?” demanded Slyme.
“I know no more about that than you do,” replied Owen. “That is—I know nothing. The only difference between us is that you THINK you know. You think you know that God made the universe; how long it took Him to do it; why He made it; how long it’s been in existence and how it will finally pass away. You also imagine you know that we shall live after we’re dead; where we shall go, and the kind of existence we shall have. In fact, in the excess of your ‘humility’, you think you know all about it. But really you know no more of these things than any other human being does; that is, you know NOTHING.”
"I don't know any more about that than you do," Owen replied. "What I mean is—I know nothing. The only difference between us is that you THINK you know. You believe you know that God created the universe; how long it took Him; why He did it; how long it’s been around and how it will eventually end. You also think you know that we'll live on after we die; where we'll go, and what our existence will be like. In fact, in your excessive ‘humility’, you think you have it all figured out. But honestly, you know just as little about these things as anyone else; that is, you know NOTHING."
“That’s only YOUR opinion,” said Slyme.
“That's just YOUR opinion,” Slyme said.
“If we care to take the trouble to learn,” Owen went on, “we can know a little of how the universe has grown and changed; but of the beginning we know nothing.”
“If we’re willing to put in the effort to learn,” Owen continued, “we can understand a bit about how the universe has developed and evolved; but we know nothing about the beginning.”
“That’s just my opinion, matey,” observed Philpot. “It’s just a bloody mystery, and that’s all about it.”
“That's just my opinion, buddy,” Philpot noted. “It's just a damn mystery, and that's all there is to it.”
“I don’t pretend to ’ave no ’ead knowledge,” said Slyme, “but ’ead knowledge won’t save a man’s soul: it’s ’EART knowledge as does that. I knows in my ’eart as my sins is all hunder the Blood, and it’s knowin’ that, wot’s given ’appiness and the peace which passes all understanding to me ever since I’ve been a Christian.”
“I don’t pretend to have any head knowledge,” said Slyme, “but head knowledge won’t save a person’s soul: it’s heart knowledge that does that. I know in my heart that my sins are all under the Blood, and knowing that is what has given me happiness and the peace that goes beyond all understanding ever since I became a Christian.”
“Glory, glory, hallelujah!” shouted Bundy, and nearly everyone laughed.
“Glory, glory, hallelujah!” shouted Bundy, and almost everyone laughed.
“‘Christian’ is right,” sneered Owen. “You’ve got some title to call yourself a Christian, haven’t you? As for the happiness that passes all understanding, it certainly passes MY understanding how you can be happy when you believe that millions of people are being tortured in Hell; and it also passes my understanding why you are not ashamed of yourself for being happy under such circumstances.”
“‘Christian’ is spot on,” Owen scoffed. “You've really earned that title, haven’t you? As for the happiness that surpasses all understanding, it definitely goes beyond MY understanding how you can be happy knowing that millions of people are being tortured in Hell; and I also don’t get why you aren’t ashamed of yourself for being happy in such a situation.”
“Ah, well, you’ll find it all out when you come to die, mate,” replied Slyme in a threatening tone. “You’ll think and talk different then!”
“Ah, well, you’ll figure it all out when it’s your time to go, buddy,” Slyme replied in a menacing tone. “You’ll think and talk differently then!”
“That’s just wot gets over me,” observed Harlow. “It don’t seem right that after living in misery and poverty all our bloody lives, workin’ and slavin’ all the hours that Gord A’mighty sends, that we’re to be bloody well set fire and burned in ’ell for all eternity! It don’t seem feasible to me, you know.”
“That’s just what gets to me,” Harlow said. “It doesn’t seem right that after living in misery and poverty all our damn lives, working and slaving all the hours God Almighty gives us, we’re supposed to be set on fire and burned in hell for all eternity! It doesn’t seem feasible to me, you know.”
“It’s my belief,” said Philpot, profoundly, “that when you’re dead, you’re done for. That’s the end of you.”
“It’s my belief,” Philpot said seriously, “that when you’re dead, you’re finished. That’s the end of you.”
“That’s what I say,” remarked Easton. “As for all this religious business, it’s just a money-making dodge. It’s the parson’s trade, just the same as painting is ours, only there’s no work attached to it and the pay’s a bloody sight better than ours is.”
“That’s what I say,” Easton said. “As for all this religious stuff, it’s just a way to make money. It’s the preacher’s job, just like painting is ours, but there’s no real work involved, and the pay is way better than what we get.”
“It’s their livin’, and a bloody good livin’ too, if you ask me,” said Bundy.
“It’s their life, and a damn good one too, if you ask me,” said Bundy.
“Yes,” said Harlow; “they lives on the fat o’ the land, and wears the best of everything, and they does nothing for it but talk a lot of twaddle two or three times a week. The rest of the time they spend cadgin’ money orf silly old women who thinks it’s a sorter fire insurance.”
“Yes,” said Harlow; “they live off the fat of the land, wear the best of everything, and they do nothing for it but talk a lot of nonsense two or three times a week. The rest of the time they spend conning money from silly old women who think it’s a kind of fire insurance.”
“It’s an old sayin’ and a true one,” chimed in the man on the upturned pail. “Parsons and publicans is the worst enemies the workin’ man ever ’ad. There may be SOME good “uns, but they’re few and far between.”
“It’s an old saying and a true one,” chimed in the man sitting on the upturned bucket. “Ministers and pub owners are the worst enemies the working man ever had. There may be some good ones, but they’re rare.”
“If I could only get a job like the Harchbishop of Canterbury,” said Philpot, solemnly, “I’d leave this firm.”
“If I could just get a job like the Archbishop of Canterbury,” said Philpot seriously, “I’d quit this firm.”
“So would I,” said Harlow, “if I was the Harchbishop of Canterbury, I’d take my pot and brushes down the office and shy ’em through the bloody winder and tell ole Misery to go to ’ell.”
“Same here,” said Harlow. “If I were the Archbishop of Canterbury, I’d take my paint and brushes to the office and throw them through the damn window and tell old Misery to go to hell.”
“Religion is a thing that don’t trouble ME much,” remarked Newman; “and as for what happens to you after death, it’s a thing I believe in leavin’ till you comes to it—there’s no sense in meetin’ trouble ’arfway. All the things they tells us may be true or they may not, but it takes me all my time to look after THIS world. I don’t believe I’ve been to church more than arf a dozen times since I’ve been married—that’s over fifteen years ago now—and then it’s been when the kids ’ave been christened. The old woman goes sometimes and of course the young ’uns goes; you’ve got to tell ’em something or other, and they might as well learn what they teaches at the Sunday School as anything else.”
“Religion doesn’t really bother me,” Newman said. “As for what happens to you after you die, I think it’s best to leave that until it happens—there’s no point in worrying about it before it arrives. Everything they tell us might be true or it might not, but I find it’s plenty of work taking care of this world. I don’t think I’ve been to church more than about a dozen times since I got married—over fifteen years ago now—and usually it’s just for the kids’ christenings. My wife goes sometimes, and of course the little ones go; you have to teach them something, so they might as well learn what they teach at Sunday School as anything else.”
A general murmur of approval greeted this. It seemed to be the almost unanimous opinion, that, whether it were true or not, “religion” was a nice thing to teach children.
A general murmur of approval followed this. It seemed to be the nearly unanimous opinion that, whether it was true or not, “religion” was a good thing to teach kids.
“I’ve not been even once since I was married,” said Harlow, “and I sometimes wish to Christ I ’adn’t gorn then.”
“I haven't been even once since I got married,” said Harlow, “and I sometimes wish to God I hadn't gone then.”
“I don’t see as it matters a dam wot a man believes,” said Philpot, “as long as you don’t do no ’arm to nobody. If you see a poor b—r wot’s down on ’is luck, give ’im a ’elpin’ ’and. Even if you ain’t got no money you can say a kind word. If a man does ’is work and looks arter “is ’ome and ’is young ’uns, and does a good turn to a fellow creature when ’e can, I reckon ’e stands as much chance of getting into ’eaven—if there is sich a place—as some of these ’ere Bible-busters, whether ’e ever goes to church or chapel or not.”
“I don’t see how it matters what a man believes,” said Philpot, “as long as you don’t hurt anyone. If you see a poor guy who’s down on his luck, give him a helping hand. Even if you don’t have any money, you can say a kind word. If a man does his work and takes care of his home and his kids, and does a good deed for someone else when he can, I think he has just as good a chance of getting into heaven—if there is such a place— as some of these Bible-thumpers, whether he ever goes to church or chapel or not.”
These sentiments were echoed by everyone with the solitary exception of Slyme, who said that Philpot would find out his mistake after he was dead, when he would have to stand before the Great White Throne for judgement!
These feelings were shared by everyone except Slyme, who said that Philpot would realize his mistake after he died, when he would have to stand before the Great White Throne for judgment!
“And at the Last Day, when yer sees the moon turned inter Blood, you’ll be cryin’ hout for the mountings and the rocks to fall on yer and ’ide yer from the wrath of the Lamb!”
“And on the Last Day, when you see the moon turn into Blood, you’ll be crying out for the mountains and the rocks to fall on you and hide you from the wrath of the Lamb!”
The others laughed derisively.
The others laughed mockingly.
“I’m a Bush Baptist meself,” remarked the man on the upturned pail. This individual, Dick Wantley by name, was of what is usually termed a “rugged” cast of countenance. He reminded one strongly of an ancient gargoyle, or a dragon.
“I’m a Bush Baptist myself,” said the man on the turned-over pail. This person, named Dick Wantley, had what you might typically call a “rugged” face. He strongly resembled an old gargoyle or a dragon.
Most of the hands had by now lit their pipes, but there were a few who preferred chewing their tobacco. As they smoked or chewed they expectorated upon the floor or into the fire. Wantley was one of those who preferred chewing and he had been spitting upon the floor to such an extent that he was by this time partly surrounded by a kind of semicircular moat of dark brown spittle.
Most of the guys had lit their pipes by now, but there were a few who preferred chewing tobacco. As they smoked or chewed, they spat on the floor or into the fire. Wantley was one of those who preferred chewing, and he had been spitting on the floor so much that he was partly surrounded by a sort of semicircular moat of dark brown saliva.
“I’m a Bush Baptist!” he shouted across the moat, “and you all knows wot that is.”
“I’m a Bush Baptist!” he yelled across the moat, “and you all know what that is.”
This confession of faith caused a fresh outburst of hilarity, because of course everyone knew what a Bush Baptist was.
This declaration of faith sparked a new wave of laughter since everyone clearly knew what a Bush Baptist was.
“If ’evven’s goin’ to be full of sich b—r’s as Hunter,” observed Eaton, “I think I’d rather go to the other place.”
“If Heaven’s going to be full of such bastards as Hunter,” Eaton remarked, “I think I’d rather go to the other place.”
“If ever ole Misery DOES get into ’eaven,” said Philpot, “’e won’t stop there very long. I reckon ’e’ll be chucked out of it before ’e’s been there a week, because ’e’s sure to start pinchin’ the jewels out of the other saints’ crowns.”
“If old Misery ever gets into heaven,” said Philpot, “he won’t stay there very long. I bet he’ll be thrown out before he’s been there a week because he’s definitely going to start stealing the jewels from the other saints’ crowns.”
“Well, if they won’t ’ave ’im in ’eaven, I’m sure I don’t know wot’s to become of ’im,” said Harlow with pretended concern, “because I don’t believe ’e’d be allowed into ’ell, now.”
“Well, if they won’t have him in heaven, I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen to him,” said Harlow with fake concern, “because I don’t think he’d be allowed into hell, either.”
“Why not?” demanded Bundy. “I should think it’s just the bloody place for sich b—r’s as ’im.”
“Why not?” demanded Bundy. “I would think it’s just the perfect place for such bastards as him.”
“So it used to be at one time o’ day, but they’ve changed all that now. They’ve ’ad a revolution down there: deposed the Devil, elected a parson as President, and started puttin’ the fire out.”
“So it used to be like that once, but they’ve changed all of that now. They’ve had a revolution down there: overthrew the Devil, elected a pastor as President, and started putting the fire out.”
“From what I hears of it,” continued Harlow when the laughter had ceased, “’ell is a bloody fine place to live in just now. There’s underground railways and ’lectric trams, and at the corner of nearly every street there’s a sort of pub where you can buy ice-cream, lemon squash, four ale, and American cold drinks; and you’re allowed to sit in a refrigerator for two hours for a tanner.”
“From what I hear,” Harlow continued when the laughter died down, “hell is a pretty nice place to be right now. There are underground trains and electric trams, and at the corner of nearly every street, there’s some kind of pub where you can buy ice cream, lemonade, draft beer, and American soft drinks; and you can sit in a fridge for two hours for just six pence.”
Although they laughed and made fun of these things the reader must not think that they really doubted the truth of the Christian religion, because—although they had all been brought up by “Christian” parents and had been “educated” in “Christian” schools—none of them knew enough about Christianity to either really believe it or disbelieve it. The imposters who obtain a comfortable living by pretending to be the ministers and disciples of the Workman of Nazareth are too cunning to encourage their dupes to acquire anything approaching an intelligent understanding of the subject. They do not want people to know or understand anything: they want them to have Faith—to believe without knowledge, understanding, or evidence. For years Harlow and his mates—when children—had been “taught” “Christianity” in day school, Sunday School and in church or chapel, and now they knew practically nothing about it! But they were “Christians” all the same. They believed that the Bible was the word of God, but they didn’t know where it came from, how long it had been in existence, who wrote it, who translated it or how many different versions there were. Most of them were almost totally unacquainted with the contents of the book itself. But all the same, they believed it—after a fashion.
Although they laughed and mocked these things, the reader shouldn't think they actually doubted the truth of the Christian religion. Even though they had all been raised by "Christian" parents and educated in "Christian" schools, none of them knew enough about Christianity to truly believe in it or disbelieve it. The imposters who make a comfortable living by pretending to be the ministers and followers of the Workman of Nazareth are too clever to encourage their followers to gain anything like a real understanding of the subject. They don't want people to know or understand anything; they want them to have Faith—to believe without knowledge, understanding, or evidence. For years, Harlow and his friends—when they were kids—had been "taught" "Christianity" in day school, Sunday School, and at church or chapel, and now they knew practically nothing about it! But they were still "Christians." They believed that the Bible was the word of God, but they didn’t know where it came from, how long it had existed, who wrote it, who translated it, or how many different versions there were. Most of them were almost completely unfamiliar with the contents of the book itself. Yet, they believed it—sort of.
“But puttin’ all jokes aside,” said Philpot, “I can’t believe there’s sich a place as ’ell. There may be some kind of punishment, but I don’t believe it’s a real fire.”
“But putting all jokes aside,” said Philpot, “I can’t believe there’s such a place as hell. There might be some kind of punishment, but I don’t think it’s actual fire.”
“Nor nobody else, what’s got any sense,” replied Harlow, contemptuously.
“Nor anyone else with any sense,” Harlow replied, disdainfully.
“I believe as THIS world is ’ell,” said Crass, looking around with a philosophic expression. This opinion was echoed by most of the others, although Slyme remained silent and Owen laughed.
“I believe this world is hell,” said Crass, looking around with a thoughtful expression. Most of the others agreed with this opinion, although Slyme stayed quiet and Owen laughed.
“Wot the bloody ’ell are YOU laughin’ at?” Crass demanded in an indignant tone.
“What the hell are YOU laughing at?” Crass demanded indignantly.
“I was laughing because you said you think this world is hell.”
“I was laughing because you said you think this world is terrible.”
“Well, I don’t see nothing to laugh at in that,” said Crass.
“Well, I don’t see anything to laugh at in that,” said Crass.
“So it IS a ’ell,” said Easton. “There can’t be anywheres much worse than this.”
“So it IS hell,” said Easton. “There can’t be anywhere much worse than this.”
“’Ear, ’ear,” said the man behind the moat.
“Hey, hey,” said the man behind the moat.
“What I was laughing at is this,” said Owen. “The present system of managing the affairs of the world is so bad and has produced such dreadful results that you are of the opinion that the earth is a hell: and yet you are a Conservative! You wish to preserve the present system—the system which has made the world into a hell!”
“What I’m laughing at is this,” said Owen. “The current way of running the world is so awful and has led to such terrible outcomes that you think the earth is a hell: and yet you’re a Conservative! You want to keep the current system—the system that has turned the world into a hell!”
“I thought we shouldn’t get through the dinner hour without politics if Owen was ’ere,” growled Bundy. “Bloody sickenin’ I call it.”
“I thought we shouldn’t get through dinner without talking politics if Owen was here,” grumbled Bundy. “It’s absolutely disgusting, I think.”
“Don’t be ’ard on ’im,” said Philpot. “’E’s been very quiet for the last few days.”
"Don't be hard on him," said Philpot. "He's been really quiet for the last few days."
“We’ll ’ave to go through it today, though,” remarked Harlow despairingly. “I can see it comin’.”
“We’ll have to go through it today, though,” Harlow said with a sigh. “I can see it coming.”
“I’M not goin’ through it,” said Bundy, “I’m orf!” And he accordingly drank the remainder of his tea, closed his empty dinner basket and, having placed it on the mantelshelf, made for the door.
“I’m not going through with it,” said Bundy, “I’m outta here!” He then finished his tea, shut his empty dinner basket, placed it on the mantel, and headed for the door.
“I’ll leave you to it,” he said as he went out. The others laughed.
“I'll let you handle it,” he said as he walked out. The others laughed.
Crass, remembering the cutting from the Obscurer that he had in his pocket, was secretly very pleased at the turn the conversation was taking. He turned roughly on Owen:
Crass, remembering the clipping from the Obscurer that he had in his pocket, was secretly quite happy about how the conversation was going. He turned sharply to Owen:
“The other day, when we was talkin’ about the cause of poverty, you contradicted everybody. Everyone else was wrong! But you yourself couldn’t tell us what’s the cause of poverty, could you?”
“The other day, when we were talking about the cause of poverty, you contradicted everyone. Everyone else was wrong! But you yourself couldn’t tell us what the cause of poverty is, could you?”
“I think I could.”
"I believe I can."
“Oh, of course, you think you know,” sneered Crass, “and of course you think your opinion’s right and everybody else’s is wrong.”
“Oh, of course, you think you know,” mocked Crass, “and of course you think your opinion is right and everyone else’s is wrong.”
“Yes,” replied Owen.
“Yes,” Owen replied.
Several men expressed their abhorrence of this intolerant attitude of Owen’s, but the latter rejoined:
Several men expressed their disgust with Owen's intolerant attitude, but he responded:
“Of course I think that my opinions are right and that everyone who differs from me is wrong. If I didn’t think their opinions were wrong I wouldn’t differ from them. If I didn’t think my own opinions right I wouldn’t hold them.”
“Of course I believe my opinions are correct and that anyone who disagrees with me is mistaken. If I didn’t think their opinions were wrong, I wouldn’t disagree with them. If I didn’t believe my own opinions were right, I wouldn’t stand by them.”
“But there’s no need to keep on arguin’ about it day after day,” said Crass. “You’ve got your opinion and I’ve got mine. Let everyone enjoy his own opinion, I say.”
“But there’s no need to keep arguing about it day after day,” said Crass. “You have your opinion and I have mine. Let everyone enjoy their own opinion, I say.”
A murmur of approbation from the crowd greeted these sentiments; but Owen rejoined:
A low murmur of approval from the crowd followed these sentiments; but Owen responded:
“But we can’t both be right; if your opinions are right and mine are not, how am I to find out the truth if we never talk about them?”
“But we can't both be correct; if your views are accurate and mine aren't, how am I supposed to discover the truth if we never discuss them?”
“Well, wot do you reckon is the cause of poverty, then?” demanded Easton.
“Well, what do you think is the cause of poverty, then?” asked Easton.
“The present system—competition—capitalism.”
"Current system: competition and capitalism."
“It’s all very well to talk like that,” snarled Crass, to whom this statement conveyed no meaning whatever. “But ’ow do you make it out?”
“It’s all nice to talk like that,” sneered Crass, who found this statement completely meaningless. “But how do you figure that?”
“Well, I put it like that for the sake of shortness,” replied Owen. “Suppose some people were living in a house—”
“Well, I said it that way to keep it brief,” replied Owen. “Imagine some people living in a house—”
“More supposin’!” sneered Crass.
“More guessing!” sneered Crass.
“And suppose they were always ill, and suppose that the house was badly built, the walls so constructed that they drew and retained moisture, the roof broken and leaky, the drains defective, the doors and windows ill-fitting and the rooms badly shaped and draughty. If you were asked to name, in a word, the cause of the ill-health of the people who lived there you would say—the house. All the tinkering in the world would not make that house fit to live in; the only thing to do with it would be to pull it down and build another. Well, we’re all living in a house called the Money System; and as a result most of us are suffering from a disease called poverty. There’s so much the matter with the present system that it’s no good tinkering at it. Everything about it is wrong and there’s nothing about it that’s right. There’s only one thing to be done with it and that is to smash it up and have a different system altogether. We must get out of it.”
“And let’s say they were always unwell, and let’s say the house was poorly built, the walls designed to soak up and keep moisture, the roof broken and leaking, the drains faulty, the doors and windows not fitting properly, and the rooms oddly shaped and drafty. If you were asked to pinpoint, in one word, the reason for the ill-health of the people living there, you would say—the house. No amount of fixing would make that house livable; the only option would be to tear it down and build a new one. Well, we’re all living in a house called the Money System; and because of that, most of us are dealing with a problem known as poverty. There’s so much wrong with the current system that there’s no point in trying to fix it. Everything about it is flawed, and nothing about it is right. The only solution is to break it apart and create a whole new system. We need to get out of it.”
“It seems to me that that’s just what you’re trying to do,” remanded Harlow, sarcastically. “You seem to be tryin’ to get out of answering the question what Easton asked you.”
“It looks like that's exactly what you're doing,” Harlow said with sarcasm. “You seem to be trying to avoid answering the question Easton asked you.”
“Yes!” cried Crass, fiercely. “Why don’t you answer the bloody question? Wot’s the cause of poverty?”
“Yeah!” shouted Crass, angrily. “Why won’t you answer the damn question? What’s behind poverty?”
“What the ’ell’s the matter with the present system?” demanded Sawkins.
“What the hell is wrong with the current system?” demanded Sawkins.
“’Ow’s it goin’ to be altered?” said Newman.
"How is it going to be changed?" asked Newman.
“Wot the bloody ’ell sort of a system do YOU think we ought to ’ave?” shouted the man behind the moat.
“What's the heck kind of system do YOU think we should have?” shouted the man behind the moat.
“It can’t never be altered,” said Philpot. “Human nature’s human nature and you can’t get away from it.”
“It can’t be changed,” said Philpot. “Human nature is human nature, and you can’t escape it.”
“Never mind about human nature,” shouted Crass. “Stick to the point. Wot’s the cause of poverty?”
“Forget about human nature,” shouted Crass. “Get to the point. What’s causing poverty?”
“Oh, b—r the cause of poverty!” said one of the new hands. “I’ve ’ad enough of this bloody row.” And he stood up and prepared to go out of the room.
“Oh, screw the cause of poverty!” said one of the new guys. “I’ve had enough of this damn noise.” And he stood up and got ready to leave the room.
This individual had two patches on the seat of his trousers and the bottoms of the legs of that garment were frayed and ragged. He had been out of work for about six weeks previous to having been taken on by Rushton & Co. During most of that time he and his family had been existing in a condition of semi-starvation on the earnings of his wife as a charwoman and on the scraps of food she brought home from the houses where she worked. But all the same, the question of what is the cause of poverty had no interest for him.
This person had two patches on the seat of his pants, and the hems were frayed and worn. He had been unemployed for about six weeks before getting hired by Rushton & Co. During most of that time, he and his family had been living in a state of near-starvation on his wife's earnings as a cleaner and the leftovers she brought home from the places she worked. Still, the question of what causes poverty didn't interest him at all.
“There are many causes,” answered Owen, “but they are all part of and inseparable from the system. In order to do away with poverty we must destroy the causes: to do away with the causes we must destroy the whole system.”
“There are many causes,” Owen replied, “but they’re all interconnected and part of the system. To eliminate poverty, we need to eliminate the causes; to eliminate the causes, we have to dismantle the entire system.”
“What are the causes, then?”
“What are the causes?”
“Well, money, for one thing.”
"Well, money is one reason."
This extraordinary assertion was greeted with a roar of merriment, in the midst of which Philpot was heard to say that to listen to Owen was as good as going to a circus. Money was the cause of poverty!
This outrageous statement was met with a burst of laughter, during which Philpot was heard saying that listening to Owen was just as entertaining as going to a circus. Money was the root of poverty!
“I always thought it was the want of it!” said the man with the patches on the seat of his trousers as he passed out of the door.
“I always thought it was the lack of it!” said the man with the patched-up seat of his pants as he walked out the door.
“Other things,” continued Owen, “are private ownership of land, private ownership of railways, tramways, gasworks, waterworks, private ownership of factories, and the other means of producing the necessaries and comforts of life. Competition in business—”
“Other things,” continued Owen, “include private ownership of land, private ownership of railways, tramways, gasworks, waterworks, private ownership of factories, and other means of producing the essentials and comforts of life. Competition in business—”
“But ’ow do you make it out?” demanded Crass, impatiently.
“But how do you figure it out?” Crass asked, impatiently.
Owen hesitated. To his mind the thing appeared very clear and simple. The causes of poverty were so glaringly evident that he marvelled that any rational being should fail to perceive them; but at the same time he found it very difficult to define them himself. He could not think of words that would convey his thoughts clearly to these others who seemed so hostile and unwilling to understand, and who appeared to have made up their minds to oppose and reject whatever he said. They did not know what were the causes of poverty and apparently they did not WANT to know.
Owen hesitated. To him, the situation seemed very clear and simple. The reasons for poverty were so obvious that he wondered how any rational person couldn't see them; yet he found it hard to define them himself. He struggled to find the right words to express his thoughts to those around him who seemed so unfriendly and unwilling to understand, and who appeared determined to dismiss whatever he said. They didn't understand the causes of poverty, and it seemed like they didn't WANT to know.
“Well, I’ll try to show you one of the causes,” he said nervously at last.
“Well, I’ll try to show you one of the reasons,” he said nervously at last.
He picked up a piece of charred wood that had fallen from the fire and knelt down and began to draw upon the floor. Most of the others regarded him, with looks in which an indulgent, contemptuous kind of interest mingled with an air of superiority and patronage. There was no doubt, they thought, that Owen was a clever sort of chap: his work proved that: but he was certainly a little bit mad.
He picked up a piece of burned wood that had fallen from the fire and knelt down to start drawing on the floor. Most of the others watched him, their expressions a mix of indulgent, contemptuous curiosity combined with a sense of superiority and condescension. There was no doubt, they thought, that Owen was a smart guy: his work showed that. But he was definitely a bit crazy.
By this time Owen had drawn a circle about two feet in diameter. Inside he had drawn two squares, one much larger than the other. These two squares he filled in solid black with the charcoal.
By this time, Owen had drawn a circle about two feet wide. Inside, he had drawn two squares, one much larger than the other. He filled both squares solid black with the charcoal.
“Wot’s it all about?” asked Crass with a sneer.
“What's it all about?” asked Crass with a sneer.
“Why, can’t you see?” said Philpot with a wink. “’E’s goin’ to do some conjurin’! In a minit ’e’ll make something pass out o’ one o’ them squares into the other and no one won’t see ’ow it’s done.”
“Why, can’t you see?” said Philpot with a wink. “He’s going to do some magic! In a minute he’ll make something move from one of those squares to the other and no one will see how it’s done.”
When he had finished drawing, Owen remained for a few minutes awkwardly silent, oppressed by the anticipation of ridicule and a sense of his inability to put his thoughts into plain language. He began to wish that he had not undertaken this task. At last, with an effort, he began to speak in a halting, nervous way:
When he finished drawing, Owen stayed quiet for a few minutes, feeling awkward and weighed down by the worry of being made fun of and his struggle to express his thoughts clearly. He started to regret taking on this task. Finally, with some effort, he began to speak in a hesitant, nervous manner:
![[Illustration]](images/circle.png)
“This circle—or rather the space inside the circle—is supposed to represent England.”
“This circle—or rather the space within the circle—is meant to represent England.”
“Well, I never knowed it was round before,” jeered Crass. “I’ve heard as the WORLD is round—”
“Well, I never knew it was round before,” mocked Crass. “I’ve heard that the WORLD is round—”
“I never said it was the shape—I said it was supposed to REPRESENT England.”
“I never said it was the shape—I said it was meant to REPRESENT England.”
“Oh, I see. I thought we’d very soon begin supposin’.”
“Oh, I get it. I thought we’d be starting to assume things really soon.”
“The two black squares,” continued Owen, “represent the people who live in the country. The small square represents a few thousand people. The large square stands for the remainder—about forty millions—that is, the majority.”
“The two black squares,” continued Owen, “represent the people living in the country. The small square stands for a few thousand people. The large square represents the rest—about forty million—meaning the majority.”
“We ain’t sich bloody fools as to think that the largest number is the minority,” interrupted Crass.
“We're not such bloody fools as to think that the largest number is the minority,” interrupted Crass.
“The greater number of the people represented by the large black square work for their living: and in return for their labour they receive money: some more, some less than others.”
“The majority of the people represented by the large black square work for a living, and in exchange for their labor, they earn money—some earn more, while others earn less.”
“You don’t think they’d be sich bloody fools as to work for nothing, do you?” said Newman.
“You don’t think they’d be such idiots as to work for free, do you?” said Newman.
“I suppose you think they ought all to get the same wages!” cried Harlow. “Do you think it’s right that a scavenger should get as much as a painter?”
“I guess you think they should all be paid the same!” yelled Harlow. “Do you really think it’s fair for a garbage collector to make as much as an artist?”
“I’m not speaking about that at all,” replied Owen. “I’m trying to show you what I think is one of the causes of poverty.”
“I’m not talking about that at all,” replied Owen. “I’m trying to show you what I think is one of the reasons for poverty.”
“Shut up, can’t you, Harlow,” remonstrated Philpot, who began to feel interested. “We can’t all talk at once.”
“Shut up, can you, Harlow,” Philpot scolded, who was starting to feel intrigued. “We can’t all talk at the same time.”
“I know we can’t,” replied Harlow in an aggrieved tone: “but ’e takes sich a ’ell of a time to say wot ’e’s got to say. Nobody else can’t get a word in edgeways.”
“I know we can’t,” replied Harlow in an annoyed tone, “but he takes forever to say what he’s got to say. Nobody else can get a word in.”
“In order that these people may live,” continued Owen, pointing to the large black square, “it is first necessary that they shall have a PLACE to live in—”
“In order for these people to live,” continued Owen, pointing to the large black square, “it’s first necessary that they have a PLACE to live in—”
“Well! I should never a thought it!” exclaimed the man on the pail, pretending to be much impressed. The others laughed, and two or three of them went out of the room, contemptuously remarking to each other in an audible undertone as they went:
“Well! I would have never thought that!” exclaimed the man on the pail, acting as if he was really impressed. The others laughed, and two or three of them left the room, scornfully whispering to each other as they exited:
“Bloody rot!”
“Bloody hell!”
“Wonder wot the bloody ’ell ’e thinks ’e is? A sort of schoolmaster?”
“Wonder what the hell he thinks he is? Some kind of schoolmaster?”
Owen’s nervousness increased as he continued:
Owen’s anxiety grew as he carried on:
“Now, they can’t live in the air or in the sea. These people are land animals, therefore they must live on the land.”
“Now, they can’t live in the air or in the sea. These beings are terrestrial animals, so they have to live on land.”
“Wot do yer mean by animals?” demanded Slyme.
“What do you mean by animals?” asked Slyme.
“A human bean ain’t a animal!” said Crass indignantly.
“A human being isn’t an animal!” said Crass indignantly.
“Yes, we are!” cried Harlow. “Go into any chemist’s shop you like and ask the bloke, and ’e’ll tell you—”
“Yes, we are!” shouted Harlow. “Go into any drugstore you like and ask the guy, and he’ll tell you—”
“Oh, blow that!” interrupted Philpot. “Let’s ’ear wot Owen’s sayin’.”
“Oh, forget that!” interrupted Philpot. “Let’s hear what Owen’s saying.”
“They must live on the land: and that’s the beginning of the trouble; because—under the present system—the majority of the people have really no right to be in the country at all! Under the present system the country belongs to a few—those who are here represented by this small black square. If it would pay them to do so, and if they felt so disposed, these few people have a perfect right—under the present system—to order everyone else to clear out!
“They have to live on the land, and that’s where the trouble starts; because—under the current system—the majority of the people don’t actually have the right to be in the country! Under the current system, the country belongs to a few—those represented by this small black square. If it was profitable for them and if they wanted to, these few people have every right—under the current system—to tell everyone else to leave!”
“But they don’t do that, they allow the majority to remain in the land on one condition—that is, they must pay rent to the few for the privilege of being permitted to live in the land of their birth. The amount of rent demanded by those who own this country is so large that, in order to pay it, the greater number of the majority have often to deprive themselves and their children, not only of the comforts, but even the necessaries of life. In the case of the working classes the rent absorbs at the lowest possible estimate, about one-third of their total earnings, for it must be remembered that the rent is an expense that goes on all the time, whether they are employed or not. If they get into arrears when out of work, they have to pay double when they get employment again.
“But they don’t do that; they let the majority stay on the land under one condition—that they must pay rent to a few for the privilege of living in the place where they were born. The rent charged by those who own this country is so high that, to afford it, most people often have to sacrifice their own comforts and even the basic necessities of life for themselves and their children. For the working class, rent takes up at least about one-third of their total earnings, and it’s important to remember that rent is a constant expense, whether they are working or not. If they fall behind on payments while unemployed, they have to pay double when they finally find work again."
“The majority work hard and live in poverty in order that the minority may live in luxury without working at all, and as the majority are mostly fools, they not only agree to pass their lives in incessant slavery and want, in order to pay this rent to those who own the country, but they say it is quite right that they should have to do so, and are very grateful to the little minority for allowing them to remain in the country at all.”
“The majority work hard and live in poverty so that the minority can live in luxury without doing any work, and since the majority are mostly oblivious, they not only accept a life of constant struggle and deprivation to pay rent to those who own the land, but they believe it’s completely fair and are very thankful to the small minority for letting them stay in the country at all.”
Owen paused, and immediately there arose a great clamour from his listeners.
Owen stopped, and instantly a loud uproar erupted from his audience.
“So it IS right, ain’t it?” shouted Crass. “If you ’ad a ’ouse and let it to someone, you’d want your rent, wouldn’t yer?”
“So it IS right, isn’t it?” shouted Crass. “If you had a house and rented it out to someone, you’d want your rent, wouldn’t you?”
“I suppose,” said Slyme with resentment, for he had some shares in a local building society, “after a man’s been careful, and scraping and saving and going without things he ought to ’ave ’ad all ’is life, and managed to buy a few ’ouses to support ’im in ’is old age—they ought all to be took away from ’im? Some people,” he added, “ain’t got common honesty.”
“I guess,” said Slyme with bitterness, since he had some shares in a local building society, “after a man’s been careful, scrimping and saving and going without things he should have had all his life, and managed to buy a few houses to support him in his old age—they should just take all that away from him? Some people,” he added, “just don’t have basic honesty.”
Nearly everyone had something to say in reprobation of the views suggested by Owen. Harlow, in a brief but powerful speech, bristling with numerous sanguinary references to the bottomless pit, protested against any interference with the sacred rights of property. Easton listened with a puzzled expression, and Philpot’s goggle eyes rolled horribly as he glared silently at the circle and the two squares.
Nearly everyone had something to say in disapproval of Owen's ideas. Harlow, in a short but passionate speech full of violent references to the depths of hell, protested any interference with the sacred rights of property. Easton listened with a confused look, and Philpot’s wide eyes rolled dramatically as he silently glared at the crowd and the two squares.
“By far the greatest part of the land,” said Owen when the row had ceased, “is held by people who have absolutely no moral right to it. Possession of much of it was obtained by means of murder and theft perpetrated by the ancestors of the present holders. In other cases, when some king or prince wanted to get rid of a mistress of whom he had grown weary, he presented a tract of our country to some “nobleman” on condition that he would marry the female. Vast estates were also bestowed upon the remote ancestors of the present holders in return for real or alleged services. Listen to this,” he continued as he took a small newspaper cutting from his pocket-book.
“Most of the land,” Owen said when the commotion died down, “is owned by people who have no moral right to it. Much of it was acquired through murder and theft committed by the ancestors of today’s owners. In other instances, when a king or prince wanted to get rid of a mistress he was tired of, he gave a piece of our country to some ‘nobleman’ on the condition that he would marry her. Huge estates were also granted to the distant ancestors of the current owners in exchange for actual or supposed services. Listen to this,” he said as he pulled a small newspaper clipping from his wallet.
Crass looked at the piece of paper dolefully. It reminded him of the one he had in his own pocket, which he was beginning to fear that he would not have an opportunity of producing today after all.
Crass looked at the piece of paper sadly. It reminded him of the one he had in his own pocket, which he was starting to worry he wouldn’t get a chance to show today after all.
“Ballcartridge Rent Day.
“Ball cartridge Rent Day.”
“The hundredth anniversary of the Battle of Ballcartridge occurred yesterday and in accordance with custom the Duke of Ballcartridge handed to the authorities the little flag which he annually presents to the State in virtue of his tenure of the vast tract of this country which was presented to one of his ancestors—the first Duke—in addition to his salary, for his services at the battle of Ballcartridge.
“The hundredth anniversary of the Battle of Ballcartridge happened yesterday, and as per tradition, the Duke of Ballcartridge gave the authorities the small flag that he presents to the State every year because of his ownership of the large piece of land in this country that was given to one of his ancestors—the first Duke—in addition to his salary for his services at the Battle of Ballcartridge.”
“The flag—which is the only rent the Duke has to pay for the great estate which brings him in several hundreds of thousands of pounds per annum—is a small tricoloured one with a staff surmounted by an eagle.
“The flag—which is the only fee the Duke has to pay for the large estate that earns him several hundreds of thousands of pounds a year—is a small tricolor one with a pole topped by an eagle.
“The Duke of Blankmind also presents the State with a little coloured silk flag every year in return for being allowed to retain possession of that part of England which was presented—in addition to his salary—to one of His Grace’s very remote ancestors, for his services at the battle of Commissariat—in the Netherlands.
“The Duke of Blankmind also gives the State a small colored silk flag every year in exchange for being allowed to keep that part of England which was given—in addition to his salary—to one of His Grace’s very distant ancestors, for his services at the battle of Commissariat—in the Netherlands."
“The Duke of Southward is another instance,” continued Owen. “He ‘owns’ miles of the country we speak of as ‘ours’. Much of his part consists of confiscated monastery lands which were stolen from the owners by King Henry VIII and presented to the ancestors of the present Duke.
“The Duke of Southward is another example,” Owen continued. “He ‘owns’ miles of the land we refer to as ‘ours’. A lot of what he possesses comes from monastery lands that were taken from their owners by King Henry VIII and given to the ancestors of the current Duke.
“Whether it was right or wrong that these parts of our country should ever have been given to those people—the question whether those ancestor persons were really deserving cases or not—is a thing we need not trouble ourselves about now. But the present holders are certainly not deserving people. They do not even take the trouble to pretend they are. They have done nothing and they do nothing to justify their possession of these ‘estates’ as they call them. And in my opinion no man who is in his right mind can really think it’s just that these people should be allowed to prey upon their fellow men as they are doing now. Or that it is right that their children should be allowed to continue to prey upon our children for ever! The thousands of people on those estates work and live in poverty in order that these three men and their families may enjoy leisure and luxury. Just think of the absurdity of it!” continued Owen, pointing to the drawings. “All those people allowing themselves to be overworked and bullied and starved and robbed by this little crowd here!”
“Whether it was right or wrong for these parts of our country to have been given to those people—the question of whether those ancestors were actually deserving cases or not—is something we don’t need to worry about now. But the current owners are definitely not deserving people. They don’t even pretend to be. They haven’t done anything and they don’t do anything to justify their ownership of these ‘estates’ as they call them. In my opinion, no one in their right mind can genuinely believe it’s fair for these people to exploit their fellow human beings as they are doing now. Or that it’s right for their children to keep exploiting our children forever! The thousands of people on those estates work and live in poverty just so these three men and their families can enjoy leisure and luxury. Just think about how ridiculous that is!” continued Owen, pointing to the drawings. “All those people allowing themselves to be overworked, bullied, starved, and robbed by this small group here!”
Observing signs of a renewal of the storm of protests, Owen hurriedly concluded:
Observing signs that the storm of protests was starting again, Owen quickly concluded:
“Whether it’s right or wrong, you can’t deny that the fact that this small minority possesses nearly all the land of the country is one of the principal causes of the poverty of the majority.”
“Whether it's fair or not, you can't deny that the reality of this small minority owning almost all the land in the country is one of the main reasons for the poverty of the majority.”
“Well, that seems true enough,” said Easton, slowly. “The rent’s the biggest item a workin’ man’s got to pay. When you’re out of work and you can’t afford other things, you goes without ’em, but the rent ’as to be paid whether you’re workin’ or not.”
“Well, that seems pretty accurate,” said Easton, slowly. “The rent is the biggest expense a working man has to deal with. When you’re unemployed and can’t pay for other stuff, you can go without it, but the rent has to be paid whether you’re working or not.”
“Yes, that’s true enough,” said Harlow impatiently; “but you gets value for yer money: you can’t expect to get a ’ouse for nothing.”
“Yes, that's true,” Harlow said impatiently. “But you get your money's worth; you can’t expect to get a house for free.”
“Suppose we admits as it’s wrong, just for the sake of argyment,” said Crass in a jeering tone. “Wot then? Wot about it? ’Ow’s it agoin’ to be altered.”
“Let's say we admit it's wrong, just for the sake of argument,” said Crass in a mocking tone. “So what? What about it? How's it going to change?”
“Yes!” cried Harlow triumphantly. “That’s the bloody question! ’Ow’s it goin’ to be altered? It can’t be done!”
“Yes!” shouted Harlow triumphantly. “That’s the damn question! How’s it going to be changed? It can’t be done!”
There was a general murmur of satisfaction. Nearly everyone seemed very pleased to think that the existing state of things could not possibly be altered.
There was a low buzz of contentment. Almost everyone looked quite happy to realize that the current situation couldn't possibly change.
“Whether it can be altered or not, whether it’s right or wrong, landlordism is one of the causes of poverty,” Owen repeated. “Poverty is not caused by men and women getting married; it’s not caused by machinery; it’s not caused by ‘over-production’; it’s not caused by drink or laziness; and it’s not caused by ‘over-population’. It’s caused by Private Monopoly. That is the present system. They have monopolized everything that it is possible to monopolize; they have got the whole earth, the minerals in the earth and the streams that water the earth. The only reason they have not monopolized the daylight and the air is that it is not possible to do it. If it were possible to construct huge gasometers and to draw together and compress within them the whole of the atmosphere, it would have been done long ago, and we should have been compelled to work for them in order to get money to buy air to breathe. And if that seemingly impossible thing were accomplished tomorrow, you would see thousands of people dying for want of air—or of the money to buy it—even as now thousands are dying for want of the other necessities of life. You would see people going about gasping for breath, and telling each other that the likes of them could not expect to have air to breathe unless they had the money to pay for it. Most of you here, for instance, would think and say so. Even as you think at present that it’s right for so few people to own the Earth, the Minerals and the Water, which are all just as necessary as is the air. In exactly the same spirit as you now say: ‘It’s Their Land,’ ‘It’s Their Water,’ ‘It’s Their Coal,’ ‘It’s Their Iron,’ so you would say ‘It’s Their Air,’ ‘These are their gasometers, and what right have the likes of us to expect them to allow us to breathe for nothing?’ And even while he is doing this the air monopolist will be preaching sermons on the Brotherhood of Man; he will be dispensing advice on ‘Christian Duty’ in the Sunday magazines; he will give utterance to numerous more or less moral maxims for the guidance of the young. And meantime, all around, people will be dying for want of some of the air that he will have bottled up in his gasometers. And when you are all dragging out a miserable existence, gasping for breath or dying for want of air, if one of your number suggests smashing a hole in the side of one of the gasometers, you will all fall upon him in the name of law and order, and after doing your best to tear him limb from limb, you’ll drag him, covered with blood, in triumph to the nearest Police Station and deliver him up to ‘justice’ in the hope of being given a few half-pounds of air for your trouble.”
“Whether it can be changed or not, whether it's right or wrong, landlordism is one of the reasons for poverty,” Owen repeated. “Poverty isn’t caused by people getting married; it’s not caused by machines; it’s not caused by ‘over-production’; it’s not caused by alcohol or laziness; and it’s not caused by ‘over-population’. It’s caused by Private Monopoly. That is the current system. They have monopolized everything possible to monopolize; they have taken control of the entire earth, the minerals in the earth, and the streams that water the earth. The only reason they haven’t monopolized daylight and air is that it’s not feasible. If it were possible to build huge gas containers and to gather and compress the entire atmosphere into them, it would have been done a long time ago, and we would have had to work for them to earn money to buy air to breathe. And if that seemingly impossible scenario were realized tomorrow, you would see thousands of people dying from lack of air—or from the lack of money to buy it—just as today thousands are dying from lacking other necessities of life. You would see people struggling for breath, telling each other that folks like them couldn’t expect to have air unless they paid for it. Most of you here, for example, would think and say the same. Just like you currently believe it’s fair for so few to own the Earth, the Minerals, and the Water, which are all just as essential as air. In exactly the same way you now say: ‘It’s Their Land,’ ‘It’s Their Water,’ ‘It’s Their Coal,’ ‘It’s Their Iron,’ so you would say ‘It’s Their Air,’ ‘These are their gas containers, and what right do we have to expect them to let us breathe for free?’ And while all this is happening, the air monopolist will be preaching about the Brotherhood of Man; he will be giving advice on ‘Christian Duty’ in the Sunday magazines; he will share countless moral maxims to guide the young. And meanwhile, all around, people will be dying for the air that he will have bottled up in his gas containers. And when you are all struggling through a miserable existence, gasping for breath or dying for a lack of air, if one of you suggests breaking into one of the gas containers, you will all turn on him in the name of law and order, and after trying your best to tear him apart, you’ll drag him, covered in blood, in triumph to the nearest Police Station and hand him over to ‘justice’ in hopes of getting a few half-pounds of air for your trouble.”
“I suppose you think the landlords ought to let people live in their ’ouses for nothing?” said Crass, breaking the silence that followed.
“I guess you think landlords should just let people live in their houses for free?” said Crass, breaking the silence that followed.
“Certainly,” remarked Harlow, pretending to be suddenly converted to Owen’s views, “I reckon the landlord ought to pay the rent to the tenant!”
“Sure,” Harlow said, pretending to suddenly agree with Owen’s views, “I guess the landlord should pay the rent to the tenant!”
“Of course, Landlordism is not the only cause,” said Owen, ignoring these remarks. “The wonderful system fosters a great many others. Employers of labour, for instance, are as great a cause of poverty as landlords are.”
“Of course, landlordism isn’t the only cause,” Owen said, dismissing those comments. “This incredible system creates many other issues. Employers of labor, for example, are just as big a cause of poverty as landlords are.”
This extraordinary statement was received with astonished silence.
This amazing statement was met with stunned silence.
“Do you mean to say that if I’m out of work and a master gives me a job, that ’e’s doin’ me a injury?” said Crass at length.
“Are you saying that if I’m unemployed and a boss gives me a job, he’s actually doing me harm?” said Crass after a while.
“No, of course not,” replied Owen.
“No, of course not,” Owen replied.
“Well, what the bloody ’ell DO yer mean, then?”
“Well, what the hell do you mean, then?”
“I mean this: supposing that the owner of a house wishes to have it repainted. What does he usually do?”
“I mean this: suppose a homeowner wants to repaint their house. What do they usually do?”
“As a rule, ’e goes to three or four master painters and asks ’em to give ’im a price for the job.”
“As a rule, he goes to three or four master painters and asks them to give him a quote for the job.”
“Yes; and those master painters are so eager to get the work that they cut the price down to what they think is the lowest possible point,” answered Owen, “and the lowest usually gets the job. The successful tenderer has usually cut the price so fine that to make it pay he has to scamp the work, pay low wages, and drive and sweat the men whom he employs. He wants them to do two days’ work for one day’s pay. The result is that a job which—if it were done properly—would employ say twenty men for two months, is rushed and scamped in half that time with half that number of men.
“Yes, and those top painters are so eager to get the job that they lower their prices to what they think is the absolute minimum,” Owen replied, “and the lowest bid usually wins. The successful bidder has typically cut the price so much that to make a profit, they have to cut corners, pay low wages, and push the workers to their limits. They expect them to do two days’ work for just one day’s pay. The end result is that a project that—if done right—would take around twenty workers two months, is rushed and poorly executed in half that time with only half that number of workers.”
“This means that—in one such case as this—ten men are deprived of one month’s employment; and ten other men are deprived of two months’ employment; and all because the employers have been cutting each other’s throats to get the work.”
“This means that—in a situation like this—ten men lose one month's worth of work; and ten other men lose two months' worth of work; all because the employers have been undercutting each other to secure the jobs.”
“And we can’t ’elp ourselves, you nor me either,” said Harlow. “Supposing one of us on this job was to make up ’is mind not to tear into it like we do, but just keep on steady and do a fair day’s work: wot would ’appen?”
“And we can’t help ourselves, you or me either,” said Harlow. “What if one of us on this job decided not to dive into it like we do, but just kept it steady and did a fair day's work: what would happen?”
No one answered; but the same thought was in everyone’s mind. Such a one would be quickly marked by Hunter; and even if the latter failed to notice it would not be long before Crass reported his conduct.
No one replied; but everyone was thinking the same thing. That person would be quickly noticed by Hunter; and even if Hunter overlooked it, Crass would soon report their behavior.
“We can’t ’elp ourselves,” said Easton, gloomily. “If one man won’t do it there’s twenty others ready to take ’is place.”
“We can’t help ourselves,” said Easton, gloomily. “If one guy won’t do it, there are twenty others ready to take his place.”
“We could help ourselves to a certain extent if we would stand by each other. If, for instance, we all belonged to the Society,” said Owen.
“We could help ourselves to a degree if we support each other. If, for example, we all joined the Society,” said Owen.
“I don’t believe in the Society,” observed Crass. “I can’t see as it’s right that a inferior man should ’ave the same wages as me.”
“I don’t believe in the Society,” Crass said. “I can’t see how it’s fair that an inferior man should have the same wages as me.”
“They’re a drunken lot of beer-swillers,” remarked Slyme. “That’s why they always ’as their meetings in public ’ouses.”
“They’re a bunch of drunks,” Slyme said. “That’s why they always hold their meetings in pubs.”
Harlow made no comment on this question. He had at one time belonged to the Union and he was rather ashamed of having fallen away from it.
Harlow didn't respond to this question. He used to be part of the Union, and he felt pretty embarrassed about having drifted away from it.
“Wot good ’as the Society ever done ’ere?” said Easton. “None that I ever ’eard of.”
“What's the Society ever done here?” said Easton. “Nothing that I’ve ever heard of.”
“It might be able to do some good if most of us belonged to it; but after all, that’s another matter. Whether we could help ourselves or not, the fact remains that we don’t. But you must admit that this competition of the employers is one of the causes of unemployment and poverty, because it’s not only in our line—exactly the same thing happens in every other trade and industry. Competing employers are the upper and nether millstones which grind the workers between them.”
“It might do some good if most of us were part of it; but that’s a different issue. Regardless of whether we can help ourselves or not, the truth is we don’t. But you have to acknowledge that this competition among employers is one of the reasons for unemployment and poverty, as it happens not just in our field—exactly the same thing occurs in every other trade and industry. Competing employers are the upper and lower millstones that grind the workers between them.”
“I suppose you think there oughtn’t to be no employers at all?” sneered Crass. “Or p’raps you think the masters ought to do all the bloody work theirselves, and give us the money?”
“I guess you think there shouldn’t be any employers at all?” sneered Crass. “Or maybe you think the bosses should do all the damn work themselves and just give us the money?”
“I don’t see ’ow its goin’ to be altered,” remarked Harlow. “There MUST be masters, and SOMEONE ’as to take charge of the work and do the thinkin’.”
“I don’t see how it’s going to change,” Harlow said. “There HAVE to be leaders, and SOMEONE needs to take charge of the work and do the thinking.”
“Whether it can be altered or not,” said Owen, “Landlordism and Competing Employers are two of the causes of poverty. But of course they’re only a small part of the system which produces luxury, refinement and culture for a few, and condemns the majority to a lifelong struggle with adversity, and many thousands to degradation, hunger and rags. This is the system you all uphold and defend, although you don’t mind admitting that it has made the world into a hell.”
“Whether it can be changed or not,” Owen said, “landlordism and competing employers are two of the reasons for poverty. But they’re just a small part of a system that creates luxury, refinement, and culture for a few, while condemning the majority to a lifelong battle with hardship, and many thousands to degradation, hunger, and rags. This is the system you all support and defend, even if you don’t mind acknowledging that it has turned the world into a hell.”
Crass slowly drew the Obscurer cutting from his waistcoat pocket, but after a moment’s thought he replaced it, deciding to defer its production till a more suitable occasion.
Crass slowly pulled out the Obscurer cutting from his waistcoat pocket, but after a moment of thought, he put it back, deciding to save it for a more appropriate time.
“But you ’aven’t told us yet ’ow you makes out that money causes poverty,” cried Harlow, winking at the others. “That’s what I’M anxious to ’ear about!”
“But you haven’t told us yet how you figure that money causes poverty,” shouted Harlow, winking at the others. “That’s what I’m eager to hear about!”
“So am I,” remarked the man behind the moat. “I was just wondering whether I ’adn’t better tell ole Misery that I don’t want no wages this week.”
“So am I,” said the man behind the moat. “I was just thinking I should probably tell old Misery that I don’t want any wages this week.”
“I think I’ll tell ’im on Saterday to keep MY money and get ’imself a few drinks with it,” said Philpot. “It might cheer ’im up a bit and make ’im a little more sociable and friendly like.”
“I think I’ll tell him on Saturday to keep my money and get himself a few drinks with it,” said Philpot. “It might cheer him up a bit and make him a little more sociable and friendly.”
“Money IS the principal cause of poverty,” said Owen.
“Money IS the main reason for poverty,” said Owen.
“’Ow do yer make it out?” cried Sawkins.
“'How do you figure it out?” shouted Sawkins.
But their curiosity had to remain unsatisfied for the time being because Crass announced that it was “just on it”.
But their curiosity had to stay unsatisfied for now because Crass announced that it was “just on it.”
Chapter 16
True Freedom
About three o’clock that afternoon, Rushton suddenly appeared and began walking silently about the house, and listening outside the doors of rooms where the hands were working. He did not succeed in catching anyone idling or smoking or talking. The nearest approach to what the men called “a capture” that he made was, as he stood outside the door of one of the upper rooms in which Philpot and Harlow were working, he heard them singing one of Sankey’s hymns—“Work! for the night is coming”. He listened to two verses and several repetitions of the chorus. Being a “Christian”, he could scarcely object to this, especially as by peeping through the partly open door he could see that they were suiting the action to the word. When he went into the room they glanced around to see who it was, and stopped singing. Rushton did not speak, but stood in the middle of the floor, silently watching them as they worked, for about a quarter of an hour. Then, without having uttered a syllable, he turned and went out.
About three o’clock that afternoon, Rushton suddenly showed up and started walking quietly around the house, listening outside the doors of rooms where the workers were. He didn’t manage to catch anyone slacking off, smoking, or chatting. The closest he got to what the men called “a capture” was when he stood outside the door of one of the upper rooms where Philpot and Harlow were working; he heard them singing one of Sankey’s hymns—“Work! for the night is coming.” He listened to two verses and several repetitions of the chorus. Being a “Christian,” he couldn’t really object to this, especially since by peeking through the partly open door, he could see that they were putting their words into action. When he walked into the room, they looked around to see who it was and stopped singing. Rushton didn’t say anything, but stood in the middle of the floor, silently watching them as they worked for about fifteen minutes. Then, without saying a word, he turned and left.
They heard him softly descend the stairs, and Harlow, turning to Philpot said in a hoarse whisper:
They heard him quietly come down the stairs, and Harlow, turning to Philpot, said in a raspy whisper:
“What do you think of the b—r, standing there watchin’ us like that, as if we was a couple of bloody convicts? If it wasn’t that I’ve got someone else beside myself to think of, I would ’ave sloshed the bloody sod in the mouth with this pound brush!”
“What do you think of the b—r, standing there watching us like that, as if we were a couple of damn convicts? If it wasn't for the fact that I've got someone else besides myself to think of, I would’ve smashed the bloody jerk in the mouth with this pound brush!”
“Yes; it does make yer feel like that, mate,” replied Philpot, “but of course we mustn’t give way to it.”
“Yes, it really makes you feel that way, buddy,” replied Philpot, “but of course, we shouldn’t give in to it.”
“Several times,” continued Harlow, who was livid with anger, “I was on the point of turnin’ round and sayin’ to ’im, ‘What the bloody ’ell do you mean by standin’ there and watchin’ me, you bloody, psalm-singin’ swine?’ It took me all my time to keep it in, I can tell you.”
“Several times,” Harlow continued, clearly furious, “I almost turned around and said to him, ‘What the hell do you mean by just standing there and watching me, you damn, psalm-singing pig?’ It took everything I had to hold it in, I swear.”
Meanwhile, Rushton was still going about the house, occasionally standing and watching the other men in the same manner as he had watched Philpot and Harlow.
Meanwhile, Rushton continued walking around the house, occasionally stopping to observe the other men in the same way he had watched Philpot and Harlow.
None of the men looked round from their work or spoke either to Rushton or to each other. The only sounds heard were the noises made by the saws and hammers of the carpenters who were fixing the frieze rails and dado rails or repairing parts of the woodwork in some of the rooms.
None of the men turned away from their work or spoke to Rushton or each other. The only sounds heard were the noises from the saws and hammers of the carpenters who were putting up the frieze rails and dado rails or fixing parts of the woodwork in some of the rooms.
Crass placed himself in Rushton’s way several times with the hope of being spoken to, but beyond curtly acknowledging the “foreman’s” servile “Good hafternoon, sir,” the master took no notice of him.
Crass put himself in Rushton’s path several times hoping to be talked to, but apart from briefly acknowledging the “foreman’s” obsequious “Good afternoon, sir,” the boss didn’t pay him any attention.
After about an hour spent in this manner Rushton went away, but as no one saw him go, it was not until some considerable time after his departure that they knew that he was gone.
After about an hour spent this way, Rushton left, but since no one noticed him leaving, it wasn't until a while after he was gone that they realized he had left.
Owen was secretly very disappointed. “I thought he had come to tell me about the drawing-room,” he said to himself, “but I suppose it’s not decided yet.”
Owen was secretly really disappointed. “I thought he had come to tell me about the living room,” he said to himself, “but I guess it’s not decided yet.”
Just as the “hands” were beginning to breathe freely again, Misery arrived, carrying some rolled-up papers in his hand. He also flitted silently from one room to another, peering round corners and listening at doors in the hope of seeing or hearing something which would give him an excuse for making an example of someone. Disappointed in this, he presently crawled upstairs to the room where Owen was working and, handing to him the roll of papers he had been carrying, said:
Just as the “hands” were starting to relax again, Misery showed up, holding some rolled-up papers. He moved quietly from one room to another, glancing around corners and eavesdropping at doors, hoping to catch sight or sound of something that would give him a reason to make an example of someone. When that didn’t happen, he eventually crept upstairs to the room where Owen was working and, handing him the roll of papers he had been carrying, said:
“Mr Sweater has decided to ’ave this work done, so you can start on it as soon as you like.”
“Mr. Sweater has decided to have this work done, so you can start on it whenever you want.”
It is impossible to describe, without appearing to exaggerate, the emotions experienced by Owen as he heard this announcement. For one thing it meant that the work at this house would last longer than it would otherwise have done; and it also meant that he would be paid for the extra time he had spent on the drawings, besides having his wages increased—for he was always paid an extra penny an hour when engaged on special work, such as graining or sign-writing or work of the present kind. But these considerations did not occur to him at the moment at all, for to him it meant much more. Since his first conversation on the subject with Rushton he had though of little else than this work.
It’s hard to describe, without sounding like I'm exaggerating, the emotions Owen felt when he heard this announcement. For one, it meant that the work at this house would take longer than expected; it also meant he’d be paid for the additional time he spent on the drawings, plus his wages would go up—he always got an extra penny an hour when doing special tasks, like graining, sign-writing, or similar work. But those thoughts didn’t cross his mind at that moment at all, because to him, it meant so much more. Since his first talk about it with Rushton, he had thought of nothing else but this work.
In a sense he had been DOING it ever since. He had thought and planned and altered the details of the work repeatedly. The colours for the different parts had been selected and rejected and re-selected over and over again. A keen desire to do the work had grown within him, but he had scarcely allowed himself to hope that it would be done at all. His face flushed slightly as he took the drawings from Hunter.
In a way, he had been working on it ever since. He had thought about, planned, and changed the details of the project repeatedly. The colors for the different parts had been chosen, dismissed, and chosen again countless times. A strong desire to complete the work had developed within him, but he had hardly allowed himself to believe it would ever be finished. His face turned slightly red as he took the drawings from Hunter.
“You can make a start on it tomorrow morning,” continued that gentleman. “I’ll tell Crass to send someone else up ’ere to finish this room.”
“You can start on it tomorrow morning,” the man said. “I’ll tell Crass to send someone else up here to finish this room.”
“I shan’t be able to commence tomorrow, because the ceiling and walls will have to be painted first.”
“I won’t be able to start tomorrow because the ceiling and walls need to be painted first.”
“Yes: I know. You and Easton can do that. One coat tomorrow, another on Friday and the third on Saturday—that is, unless you can make it do with two coats. Even if it has to be the three, you will be able to go on with your decoratin’ on Monday.”
“Yes, I get it. You and Easton can handle that. One coat tomorrow, another on Friday, and the last one on Saturday—unless you can manage with just two coats. Even if you need all three, you’ll still be able to continue your decorating on Monday.”
“I won’t be able to start on Monday, because I shall have to make some working drawings first.”
“I can’t start on Monday because I need to create some working drawings first.”
“Workin’ drorins!” ejaculated Misery with a puzzled expression. “Wot workin’ drorins? You’ve got them, ain’t yer?” pointing to the roll of papers.
“Working drawings!” exclaimed Misery with a puzzled look. “What working drawings? You have them, don’t you?” he said, pointing to the roll of papers.
“Yes: but as the same ornaments are repeated several times, I shall have to make a number of full-sized drawings, with perforated outlines, to transfer the design to the walls,” said Owen, and he proceeded to laboriously explain the processes.
“Yes: but since the same decorations are repeated multiple times, I’ll need to create several full-sized drawings with perforated outlines to transfer the design to the walls,” Owen said, and he went on to carefully explain the processes.
Nimrod looked at him suspiciously. “Is all that really necessary?” he asked. “Couldn’t you just copy it on the wall, free-hand?”
Nimrod looked at him with suspicion. “Is all that really necessary?” he asked. “Can’t you just sketch it on the wall by hand?”
“No; that wouldn’t do. It would take much longer that way.”
“No, that wouldn’t work. It would take way longer that way.”
This consideration appealed to Misery.
This thought appealed to Misery.
“Ah, well,” he sighed. “I s’pose you’ll ’ave to do it the way you said; but for goodness sake don’t spend too much time over it, because we’ve took it very cheap. We only took it on so as you could ’ave a job, not that we expect to make any profit out of it.”
“Ah, well,” he sighed. “I guess you’ll have to do it the way you said; but please don’t spend too much time on it, because we got it for a really low price. We only took it on so you could have a job, not because we expect to make any profit from it.”
“And I shall have to cut some stencils, so I shall need several sheets of cartridge paper.”
“And I need to cut some stencils, so I’ll need a few sheets of cartridge paper.”
Upon hearing of this additional expense, Misery’s long visage appeared to become several inches longer; but after a moment’s thought he brightened up.
Upon hearing about this extra cost, Misery's long face seemed to get a few inches longer; but after a moment of consideration, he cheered up.
“I’ll tell you what!” he exclaimed with a cunning leer, “there’s lots of odd rolls of wallpaper down at the shop. Couldn’t you manage with some of that?”
“I’ll tell you what!” he said with a sly grin, “there are plenty of random rolls of wallpaper down at the shop. Couldn’t you use some of that?”
“I’m afraid it wouldn’t do,” replied Owen doubtfully, “but I’ll have a look at it and if possible I’ll use it.”
“I’m not sure it would work,” Owen replied hesitantly, “but I’ll take a look at it and if I can, I’ll use it.”
“Yes, do!” said Misery, pleased at the thought of saving something. “Call at the shop on your way home tonight, and we’ll see what we can find. ’Ow long do you think it’ll take you to make the drorins and the stencils?”
“Yes, definitely!” said Misery, happy at the idea of saving something. “Stop by the shop on your way home tonight, and we’ll see what we can find. How long do you think it’ll take you to make the drawings and the stencils?”
“Well, today’s Thursday. If you let someone else help Easton to get the room ready, I think I can get them done in time to bring them with me on Monday morning.”
“Well, today’s Thursday. If you let someone else help Easton get the room ready, I think I can have them done in time to bring with me on Monday morning.”
“Wot do yer mean, ‘bring them with you’?” demanded Nimrod.
“What's that supposed to mean, ‘bring them with you’?” demanded Nimrod.
“I shall have to do them at home, you know.”
“I will have to do them at home, you know.”
“Do ’em at ’ome! Why can’t you do ’em ’ere?”
“Do them at home! Why can’t you do them here?”
“Well, there’s no table, for one thing.”
“Well, there’s no table, for starters.”
“Oh, but we can soon fit you out with a table. You can ’ave a pair of paperhanger’s tressels and boards for that matter.”
“Oh, but we can quickly get you set up with a table. You can have a pair of painter’s trestles and boards, for that matter.”
“I have a lot of sketches and things at home that I couldn’t very well bring here,” said Owen.
“I have a lot of sketches and stuff at home that I couldn’t really bring here,” said Owen.
Misery argued about it for a long time, insisting that the drawings should be made either on the “job” or at the paint-shop down at the yard. How, he asked, was he to know at what hour Owen commenced or left off working, if the latter did them at home?
Misery debated this for a long time, insisting that the drawings should be made either on the “job” or at the paint shop down at the yard. How, he asked, was he supposed to know what time Owen started or stopped working if he did them at home?
“I shan’t charge any more time than I really work,” replied Owen. “I can’t possibly do them here or at the paint-shop. I know I should only make a mess of them under such conditions.”
“I won’t charge for any time I don’t actually work,” Owen replied. “I really can’t do them here or at the paint shop. I know I would just end up making a mess of them in those conditions.”
“Well, I s’pose you’ll ’ave to ’ave your own way,” said Misery, dolefully. “I’ll let Harlow help Easton paint the room out, so as you can get your stencils and things ready. But for Gord’s sake get ’em done as quick as you can. If you could manage to get done by Friday and come down and help Easton on Saturday, it would be so much the better. And when you do get a start on the decoratin’, I shouldn’t take too much care over it, you know, if I was you, because we ’ad to take the job for next to nothing or Mr Sweater would never ’ave ’ad it done at all!”
“Well, I guess you’ll have to have your way,” said Misery, sadly. “I’ll let Harlow help Easton paint the room so you can get your stencils and stuff ready. But for goodness' sake, get them done as quickly as you can. If you could finish by Friday and come down to help Easton on Saturday, that would be great. And when you do start decorating, I wouldn’t worry too much about it, you know, if I were you, because we had to take the job for almost nothing or Mr. Sweater would never have gotten it done at all!”
Nimrod now began to crawl about the house, snarling and grumbling at everyone.
Nimrod started to crawl around the house, growling and complaining at everyone.
“Now then, you chaps. Rouse yourselves!” he bellowed, “you seem to think this is a ’orspital. If some of you don’t make a better show than this, I’ll ’ave to ’ave a Alteration! There’s plenty of chaps walkin’ about doin’ nothin’ who’ll be only too glad of a job!”
“Alright, you guys. Wake up!” he shouted, “you all act like this is a hospital. If some of you don’t step it up, I’ll have to make some changes! There are plenty of guys hanging around doing nothing who would be more than happy to have a job!”
He went into the scullery, where Crass was mixing some colour.
He walked into the kitchen, where Crass was mixing some paint.
“Look ’ere, Crass!” he said. “I’m not at all satisfied with the way you’re gettin’ on with the work. You must push the chaps a bit more than you’re doin’. There’s not enough being done, by a long way. We shall lose money over this job before we’re finished!”
“Listen up, Crass!” he said. “I’m really not happy with how you’re managing the work. You need to motivate the guys a lot more than you are. There’s way too little being done. We’re going to lose money on this project if things keep going like this!”
Crass—whose fat face had turned a ghastly green with fright—mumbled something about getting on with it as fast as he could.
Crass—whose chubby face had turned a sickly green with fear—mumbled something about getting it over with as quickly as he could.
“Well, you’ll ’ave to make ’em move a bit quicker than this!” Misery howled, “or there’ll ’ave to be a ALTERATION!”
“Well, you’ll have to make them move a bit quicker than this!” Misery howled, “or there will have to be a CHANGE!”
By an “alteration” Crass understood that he might get the sack, or that someone else might be put in charge of the job, and that would of course reduce him to the ranks and do away with his chance of being kept on longer than the others. He determined to try to ingratiate himself with Hunter and appease his wrath by sacrificing someone else. He glanced cautiously into the kitchen and up the passage and then, lowering his voice, he said:
By "alteration," Crass understood that he could be fired, or that someone else might take over the job, which would obviously demote him and eliminate his chance of staying on longer than the others. He decided to try to win over Hunter and calm him down by throwing someone else under the bus. He looked carefully into the kitchen and down the hallway, and then, lowering his voice, he said:
“They all shapes pretty well, except Newman. I would ’ave told you about ’im before, but I thought I’d give ’im a fair chance. I’ve spoke to ’im several times myself about not doin’ enough, but it don’t seem to make no difference.”
“They all seem to do pretty well, except for Newman. I would have mentioned him earlier, but I thought I’d give him a fair chance. I’ve talked to him several times about not doing enough, but it doesn’t seem to make any difference.”
“I’ve ’ad me eye on ’im meself for some time,” replied Nimrod in the same tone. “Anybody would think the work was goin’ to be sent to a Exhibition, the way ’e messes about with it, rubbing it with glasspaper and stopping up every little crack! I can’t understand where ’e gets all the glasspaper FROM.”
“I’ve had my eye on him for a while,” replied Nimrod in the same tone. “You’d think the work was going to be sent to an exhibition, the way he messes around with it, sanding it down and filling in every little crack! I can’t figure out where he gets all the sandpaper from.”
“’E brings it ’isself!” said Crass hoarsely. “I know for a fact that ’e bought two ’a’penny sheets of it, last week out of ’is own money!”
“‘He brings it himself!” said Crass hoarsely. “I know for a fact that he bought two halfpenny sheets of it last week with his own money!”
“Oh, ’e did, did ’e?” snarled Misery. “I’ll give ’im glasspaper! I’ll ’ave a Alteration!”
“Oh, he did, did he?” snarled Misery. “I’ll give him sandpaper! I’ll have a change!”
He went into the hall, where he remained alone for a considerable time, brooding. At last, with the manner of one who has resolved on a certain course of action, he turned and entered the room where Philpot and Harlow were working.
He walked into the hall, where he stayed by himself for quite a while, deep in thought. Finally, with the attitude of someone who has made a decision, he turned and went into the room where Philpot and Harlow were working.
“You both get sevenpence an hour, don’t you?” he said.
“You both make seven pence an hour, right?” he said.
They both replied to the affirmative.
They both said yes.
“I’ve never worked under price yet,” added Harlow.
“I’ve never worked for less than the price,” added Harlow.
“Nor me neither,” observed Philpot.
“Me neither,” observed Philpot.
“Well, of course you can please yourselves,” Hunter continued, “but after this week we’ve decided not to pay more than six and a half. Things is cut so fine nowadays that we can’t afford to go on payin’ sevenpence any longer. You can work up till tomorrow night on the old terms, but if you’re not willin’ to accept six and a half you needn’t come on Saturday morning. Please yourselves. Take it or leave it.”
“Well, of course you can do what you want,” Hunter continued, “but after this week we’ve decided not to pay more than six and a half. Times are so tight right now that we can’t keep paying sevenpence anymore. You can work until tomorrow night on the old terms, but if you’re not willing to accept six and a half, then you don’t need to come in on Saturday morning. It’s up to you. Take it or leave it.”
Harlow and Philpot were both too much astonished to say anything in reply to this cheerful announcement, and Hunter, with the final remark, “You can think it over,” left them and went to deliver the same ultimatum to all the other full-price men, who took it in the same way as Philpot and Harlow had done. Crass and Owen were the only two whose wages were not reduced.
Harlow and Philpot were both too shocked to respond to this cheerful announcement, and Hunter, with his final comment, “You can think it over,” left them and went to share the same ultimatum with all the other full-price workers, who reacted just like Philpot and Harlow had. Crass and Owen were the only two whose wages weren't cut.
It will be remembered that Newman was one of those who were already working for the reduced rate. Misery found him alone in one of the upper rooms, to which he was giving the final coat. He was at his old tricks. The woodwork of the cupboard he was doing was in a rather damaged condition, and he was facing up the dents with white-lead putty before painting it. He knew quite well that Hunter objected to any but very large holes or cracks being stopped, and yet somehow or other he could not scamp the work to the extent that he was ordered to; and so, almost by stealth, he was in the habit of doing it—not properly but as well as he dared. He even went to the length of occasionally buying a few sheets of glasspaper with his own money, as Crass had told Hunter. When the latter came into the room he stood with a sneer on his face, watching Newman for about five minutes before he spoke. The workman became very nervous and awkward under this scrutiny.
It should be noted that Newman was one of those already working for the lower wage. Misery found him alone in one of the upper rooms, where he was applying the final coat. He was up to his usual ways. The woodwork of the cupboard he was working on was in pretty bad shape, and he was filling in the dents with white lead putty before painting it. He knew very well that Hunter didn't approve of fixing anything but very large holes or cracks, yet somehow he couldn't bring himself to cut corners to the extent that he was instructed to. So, almost secretly, he had gotten into the habit of doing it—not perfectly, but as well as he could. He even went as far as occasionally buying a few sheets of sandpaper with his own money, as Crass had mentioned to Hunter. When the latter entered the room, he stood there with a sneer on his face, watching Newman for about five minutes before saying anything. The worker became very nervous and uncomfortable under this gaze.
“You can make out yer time-sheet and come to the office for yer money at five o’clock,” said Nimrod at last. “We shan’t require your valuable services no more after tonight.”
“You can fill out your time sheet and come to the office for your paycheck at five o’clock,” said Nimrod finally. “We won’t need your valuable services anymore after tonight.”
Newman went white.
Newman turned pale.
“Why, what’s wrong?” said he. “What have I done?”
“Why, what’s wrong?” he asked. “What did I do?”
“Oh, it’s not wot you’ve DONE,” replied Misery. “It’s wot you’ve not done. That’s wot’s wrong! You’ve not done enough, that’s all!” And without further parley he turned and went out.
“Oh, it’s not what you’ve DONE,” replied Misery. “It’s what you haven’t done. That’s what’s wrong! You haven’t done enough, that’s all!” And without any more discussion, he turned and walked out.
Newman stood in the darkening room feeling as if his heart had turned to lead. There rose before his mind the picture of his home and family. He could see them as they were at this very moment, the wife probably just beginning to prepare the evening meal, and the children setting the cups and saucers and other things on the kitchen table—a noisy work, enlivened with many a frolic and childish dispute. Even the two-year-old baby insisted on helping, although she always put everything in the wrong place and made all sorts of funny mistakes. They had all been so happy lately because they knew that he had work that would last till nearly Christmas—if not longer. And now this had happened—to plunge them back into the abyss of wretchedness from which they had so recently escaped. They still owed several weeks’ rent, and were already so much in debt to the baker and the grocer that it was hopeless to expect any further credit.
Newman stood in the darkening room, feeling as if his heart had turned to lead. He could picture his home and family in his mind. He envisioned them at this very moment, his wife probably just starting to prepare the evening meal, while the kids set the cups, saucers, and other things on the kitchen table—a loud task filled with playful antics and childish arguments. Even the two-year-old insisted on helping, although she always put everything in the wrong place and made all sorts of silly mistakes. They had all been so happy lately because they knew he had work that would last until nearly Christmas—if not longer. And now this had happened—to plunge them back into the depths of misery from which they had just recently escaped. They still owed several weeks’ rent and were already so deep in debt to the baker and the grocer that it was hopeless to expect any more credit.
“My God!” said Newman, realizing the almost utter hopelessness of the chance of obtaining another “job” and unconsciously speaking aloud. “My God! How can I tell them? What WILL become of us?”
“My God!” said Newman, realizing just how hopeless it was to find another “job” and unintentionally speaking out loud. “My God! How am I going to explain this to them? What will happen to us?”
Having accomplished the objects of his visit, Hunter shortly afterwards departed, possibly congratulating himself that he had not been hiding his light under a bushel, but that he had set it upon a candlestick and given light unto all that were within that house.
Having achieved the goals of his visit, Hunter left soon after, likely feeling proud that he hadn’t been keeping his talents hidden, but instead had put them on display for everyone in the house to see.
As soon as they knew that he was gone, the men began to gather into little groups, but in a little while they nearly all found themselves in the kitchen, discussing the reduction. Sawkins and the other “lightweights” remained at their work. Some of them got only fourpence halfpenny—Sawkins was paid fivepence—so none of these were affected by the change. The other two fresh hands—the journeymen—joined the crowd in the kitchen, being anxious to conceal the fact that they had agreed to accept the reduced rate before being “taken on”. Owen also was there, having heard the news from Philpot.
As soon as they realized he was gone, the men started to gather in small groups, but before long, almost all of them ended up in the kitchen, talking about the pay cut. Sawkins and the other "lightweights" kept working. Some of them earned only fourpence halfpenny—Sawkins was paid fivepence—so they weren't impacted by the change. The other two new guys—the journeymen—joined the crowd in the kitchen, eager to hide the fact that they had agreed to take the lower rate before getting hired. Owen was also there, having heard the news from Philpot.
There was a lot of furious talk. At first several of them spoke of “chucking up”, at once; but others were more prudent, for they knew that if they did leave there were dozens of others who would be eager to take their places.
There was a lot of angry discussion. At first, several of them talked about "quitting" right away, but others were more cautious because they knew that if they left, there were plenty of others who would be ready to take their spots.
“After all, you know,” said Slyme, who had—stowed away somewhere at the back of his head—an idea of presently starting business on his own account: he was only waiting until he had saved enough money, “after all, there’s something in what ’Unter says. It’s very ’ard to get a fair price for work nowadays. Things IS cut very fine.”
“After all, you know,” said Slyme, who had—stashed away somewhere in the back of his mind—an idea of starting his own business soon: he was just waiting until he had saved enough money, “after all, there’s some truth in what ’Unter says. It’s really hard to get a fair price for work these days. Things are really tight.”
“Yes! We know all about that!” shouted Harlow. “And who the bloody ’ell is it cuts ’em? Why, sich b—rs as ’Unter and Rushton! If this firm ’adn’t cut this job so fine, some other firm would ’ave ’ad it for more money. Rushton’s cuttin’ it fine didn’t MAKE this job, did it? It would ’ave been done just the same if they ’adn’t tendered for it at all! The only difference is that we should ’ave been workin’ for some other master.”
“Yes! We know all about that!” shouted Harlow. “And who the hell is doing the cutting? People like Unter and Rushton! If this company hadn’t trimmed this job so closely, another company would have taken it for more money. Rushton’s tight cutting didn’t CREATE this job, did it? It would have been done just the same if they hadn’t bid on it at all! The only difference is that we would have been working for someone else.”
“I don’t believe the bloody job’s cut fine at all!” said Philpot.
“I don’t think the damn job is precise at all!” said Philpot.
“Rushton is a pal of Sweater’s and they’re both members of the Town Council.”
“Rushton is a friend of Sweater’s, and they’re both on the Town Council.”
“That may be,” replied Slyme; “but all the same I believe Sweater got several other prices besides Rushton’s—friend or no friend; and you can’t blame ’im: it’s only business. But pr’aps Rushton got the preference—Sweater may ’ave told ’im the others’ prices.”
“That might be true,” replied Slyme, “but either way, I think Sweater got several other offers besides Rushton’s—friend or not; and you can’t really blame him: it’s just business. But maybe Rushton got the priority—Sweater might have shared the other offers with him.”
“Yes, and a bloody fine lot of prices they was, too, if the truth was known!” said Bundy. “There was six other firms after this job to my knowledge—Pushem and Sloggem, Bluffum and Doemdown, Dodger and Scampit, Snatcham and Graball, Smeeriton and Leavit, Makehaste and Sloggitt, and Gord only knows ’ow many more.”
“Yes, and they were really great prices, to be honest!” said Bundy. “As far as I know, six other companies were after this job—Pushem and Sloggem, Bluffum and Doemdown, Dodger and Scampit, Snatcham and Graball, Smeeriton and Leavit, Makehaste and Sloggitt, and God only knows how many more.”
At this moment Newman came into the room. He looked so white and upset that the others involuntarily paused in their conversation.
At that moment, Newman walked into the room. He looked so pale and distressed that everyone else instinctively stopped talking.
“Well, what do YOU think of it?” asked Harlow.
“Well, what do YOU think about it?” Harlow asked.
“Think of what?” said Newman.
"What are you thinking about?" said Newman.
“Why, didn’t ’Unter tell you?” cried several voices, whose owners looked suspiciously at him. They thought—if Hunter had not spoken to Newman, it must be because he was already working under price. There had been a rumour going about the last few days to that effect.
“Why, didn’t Hunter tell you?” shouted several voices, their owners eyeing him warily. They figured—if Hunter hadn’t talked to Newman, it must be because he was already working for less. There had been a rumor going around the last few days to that effect.
“Didn’t Misery tell you? They’re not goin’ to pay more than six and a half after this week.”
“Didn’t Misery tell you? They’re not going to pay more than six and a half after this week.”
“That’s not what ’e said to me. ’E just told me to knock off. Said I didn’t do enough for ’em.”
“That’s not what he told me. He just said to stop. Said I didn’t do enough for them.”
“Jesus Christ!” exclaimed Crass, pretending to be overcome with surprise.
“Jesus Christ!” Crass exclaimed, pretending to be totally shocked.
Newman’s account of what had transpired was listened to in gloomy silence. Those who—a few minutes previously—had been talking loudly of chucking up the job became filled with apprehension that they might be served in the same manner as he had been. Crass was one of the loudest in his expression of astonishment and indignation, but he rather overdid it and only succeeded in confirming the secret suspicion of the others that he had had something to do with Hunter’s action.
Newman’s account of what had happened was heard in heavy silence. Those who, just a few minutes earlier, had been loudly discussing quitting the job were now worried they might face the same fate as he had. Crass was one of the most vocal in showing his surprise and anger, but he went a bit overboard and only managed to reinforce the others' hidden suspicion that he had played a part in Hunter’s decision.
The result of the discussion was that they decided to submit to Misery’s terms for the time being, until they could see a chance of getting work elsewhere.
The outcome of the discussion was that they agreed to accept Misery’s terms for now, until they could find an opportunity to get work somewhere else.
As Owen had to go to the office to see the wallpaper spoken of by Hunter, he accompanied Newman when the latter went to get his wages. Nimrod was waiting for them, and had the money ready in an envelope, which he handed to Newman, who took it without speaking and went away.
As Owen had to go to the office to check out the wallpaper that Hunter mentioned, he went with Newman when Newman went to collect his pay. Nimrod was waiting for them and had the money ready in an envelope, which he gave to Newman. Newman took it without saying a word and left.
Misery had been rummaging amongst the old wallpapers, and had got out a great heap of odd rolls, which he now submitted to Owen, but after examining them the latter said that they were unsuitable for the purpose, so after some argument Misery was compelled to sign an order for some proper cartridge paper, which Owen obtained at a stationer’s on his way home.
Misery was going through the old wallpaper, digging out a big pile of random rolls that he showed to Owen. After looking them over, Owen said they weren't right for what he needed. So after some back-and-forth, Misery had to sign an order for some good cartridge paper, which Owen picked up at a stationery store on his way home.
The next morning, when Misery went to the “Cave”, he was in a fearful rage, and he kicked up a terrible row with Crass. He said that Mr Rushton had been complaining of the lack of discipline on the job, and he told Crass to tell all the hands that for the future singing in working hours was strictly forbidden, and anyone caught breaking this rule would be instantly dismissed.
The next morning, when Misery went to the “Cave,” he was extremely angry and started a huge argument with Crass. He said that Mr. Rushton had been complaining about the lack of discipline on the job, and he told Crass to inform everyone that from now on, singing during work hours was strictly prohibited, and anyone caught violating this rule would be fired on the spot.
Several times during the following days Nimrod called at Owen’s flat to see how the work was progressing and to impress upon him the necessity of not taking too much trouble over it.
Several times over the next few days, Nimrod stopped by Owen’s apartment to check on the progress of the work and to emphasize the importance of not overdoing it.
Chapter 17
The Rev. John Starr
“What time is it now, Mum?” asked Frankie as soon as he had finished dinner on the following Sunday.
“What time is it now, Mom?” asked Frankie as soon as he finished dinner the next Sunday.
“Two o’clock.”
"2 PM."
“Hooray! Only one more hour and Charley will be here! Oh, I wish it was three o’clock now, don’t you, Mother?”
“Hooray! Just one more hour until Charley gets here! Oh, I wish it was three o’clock already, don’t you, Mom?”
“No, dear, I don’t. You’re not dressed yet, you know.”
“No, sweetheart, I don’t. You still aren’t dressed, you know.”
Frankie made a grimace.
Frankie grimaced.
“You’re surely not going to make me wear my velvets, are you, Mum? Can’t I go just as I am, in my old clothes?”
“Are you really going to make me wear my fancy clothes, Mom? Can’t I just go like this, in my old clothes?”
The “velvets” was a brown suit of that material that Nora had made out of the least worn parts of an old costume of her own.
The “velvets” was a brown suit made from that fabric that Nora had created using the least worn pieces of an old outfit of hers.
“Of course not: if you went as you are now, you’d have everyone staring at you.”
“Of course not: if you went like this, everyone would be staring at you.”
“Well, I suppose I’ll have to put up with it,” said Frankie, resignedly.
“Well, I guess I’ll have to deal with it,” said Frankie, reluctantly.
“And I think you’d better begin to dress me now, don’t you?”
“And I think it’s time for you to start getting me ready now, don’t you?”
“Oh, there’s plenty of time yet; you’d only make yourself untidy and then I should have the trouble all over again. Play with your toys a little while, and when I’ve done the washing up I’ll get you ready.”
“Oh, there’s still plenty of time; you’d just end up making a mess and then I’d have to deal with it all over again. Play with your toys for a bit, and when I’m done with the dishes, I’ll help you get ready.”
Frankie obeyed, and for about ten minutes his mother heard him in the next room rummaging in the box where he stored his collection of “things”. At the end of that time, however, he returned to the kitchen. “Is it time to dress me yet, Mum?”
Frankie did as he was told, and for about ten minutes his mom heard him in the next room digging through the box where he kept his collection of “things.” After that time, he came back to the kitchen. “Is it time to get me dressed yet, Mom?”
“No, dear, not yet. You needn’t be afraid; you’ll be ready in plenty of time.”
“No, dear, not yet. You don’t need to be scared; you’ll be ready with plenty of time to spare.”
“But I can’t help being afraid; you might forget.”
“But I can’t help feeling scared; you might forget.”
“Oh, I shan’t forget. There’s lots of time.”
“Oh, I won't forget. There’s plenty of time.”
“Well, you know, I should be much easier in my mind if you would dress me now, because perhaps our clock’s wrong, or p’r’aps when you begin dressing me you’ll find some buttons off or something, and then there’ll be a lot of time wasted sewing them on; or p’r’aps you won’t be able to find my clean stockings or something and then while you’re looking for it Charley might come, and if he sees I’m not ready he mightn’t wait for me.”
“Well, you know, I’d feel a lot better if you dressed me now, because maybe our clock is wrong, or when you start dressing me, you might find some buttons missing or something, and then we’d waste a lot of time sewing them on; or maybe you won’t be able to find my clean stockings or something, and while you’re looking for them, Charley might come, and if he sees I’m not ready, he might not wait for me.”
“Oh, dear!” said Nora, pretending to be alarmed at this appalling list of possibilities. “I suppose it will be safer to dress you at once. It’s very evident you won’t let me have much peace until it is done, but mind when you’re dressed you’ll have to sit down quietly and wait till he comes, because I don’t want the trouble of dressing you twice.”
“Oh no!” said Nora, pretending to be shocked by this terrible list of possibilities. “I guess it’s better to get you dressed right away. It’s clear you won’t let me have any peace until it’s done, but just know that once you’re dressed, you’ll need to sit down quietly and wait until he arrives, because I really don’t want to deal with dressing you again.”
“Oh, I don’t mind sitting still,” returned Frankie, loftily. “That’s very easy.
“Oh, I don’t mind sitting still,” Frankie replied, confidently. “That’s really easy.”
“I don’t mind having to take care of my clothes,” said Frankie as his mother—having washed and dressed him, was putting the finishing touches to his hair, brushing and combing and curling the long yellow locks into ringlets round her fingers, “the only thing I don’t like is having my hair done. You know all these curls are quite unnecessary. I’m sure it would save you a lot of trouble if you wouldn’t mind cutting them off.”
“I don’t mind taking care of my clothes,” said Frankie as his mother—having washed and dressed him—was putting the finishing touches on his hair, brushing, combing, and curling the long yellow locks into ringlets around her fingers. “The only thing I don’t like is having my hair done. You know, all these curls are totally unnecessary. I’m sure it would save you a lot of trouble if you could just cut them off.”
Nora did not answer: somehow or other she was unwilling to comply with this often-repeated entreaty. It seemed to her that when this hair was cut off the child would have become a different individual—more separate and independent.
Nora didn't respond; for some reason, she was reluctant to agree to this frequently made request. It felt to her that once this hair was cut, the child would become a different person—more distinct and independent.
“If you don’t want to cut it off for your own sake, you might do it for my sake, because I think it’s the reason some of the big boys don’t want to play with me, and some of them shout after me and say I’m a girl, and sometimes they sneak up behind me and pull it. Only yesterday I had to have a fight with a boy for doing it: and even Charley Linden laughs at me, and he’s my best friend—except you and Dad of course.
“If you don’t want to cut it off for your own good, you might do it for me, because I think it’s why some of the other boys don’t want to hang out with me. Some of them shout at me and call me a girl, and sometimes they sneak up behind me and pull it. Just yesterday, I had to fight a boy for doing it, and even Charley Linden laughs at me, and he’s my best friend—other than you and Dad, of course.”
“Why don’t you cut it off, Mum?”
“Why don’t you just cut it off, Mom?”
“I am going to cut it as I promised you, after your next birthday.”
“I'll cut it just like I promised you, after your next birthday.”
“Then I shall be jolly glad when it comes. Won’t you? Why, what’s the matter, Mum? What are you crying for?” Frankie was so concerned that he began to cry also, wondering if he had done or said something wrong. He kissed her repeatedly, stroking her face with his hand. “What’s the matter, Mother?”
“Then I’ll be really happy when it comes. Won’t you? Why, what’s wrong, Mom? Why are you crying?” Frankie was so worried that he started to cry too, thinking he might have done or said something wrong. He kissed her over and over, gently stroking her face with his hand. “What’s wrong, Mom?”
“I was thinking that when you’re over seven and you’ve had your hair cut short you won’t be a baby any more.”
“I was thinking that when you’re over seven and you’ve got your hair cut short, you won’t be a little kid anymore.”
“Why, I’m not a baby now, am I? Here, look at this!”
“Why, I’m not a baby anymore, am I? Look at this!”
He strode over to the wall and, dragging out two chairs, he placed them in the middle of the room, back to back, about fifteen inches apart, and before his mother realized what he was doing he had climbed up and stood with one leg on the back of each chair.
He walked over to the wall and, pulling out two chairs, he set them in the middle of the room, back to back, about fifteen inches apart. Before his mother noticed what he was up to, he had climbed up and was standing with one leg on the back of each chair.
“I should like to see a baby who could do this,” he cried, with his face wet with tears. “You needn’t lift me down. I can get down by myself. Babies can’t do tricks like these or even wipe up the spoons and forks or sweep the passage. But you needn’t cut it off if you don’t want to. I’ll bear it as long as you like. Only don’t cry any more, because it makes me miserable. If I cry when I fall down or when you pull my hair when you’re combing it you always tell me to bear it like a man and not be a baby, and now you’re crying yourself just because I’m not a baby. You ought to be jolly glad that I’m nearly grown up into a man, because you know I’ve promised to build you a house with the money I earn, and then you needn’t do no more work. We’ll have a servant the same as the people downstairs, and Dad can stop at home and sit by the fire and read the paper or play with me and Maud and have pillow fights and tell stories and—”
“I’d love to see a baby who could do this,” he shouted, tears streaming down his face. “You don’t need to help me down. I can get down myself. Babies can’t do tricks like this or even clean the spoons and forks or sweep the hallway. But you don’t have to stop if you don’t want to. I can handle it for as long as you need. Just don’t cry anymore because it makes me really sad. When I cry after I fall or when you pull my hair while combing it, you always tell me to toughen up and not act like a baby, and now you’re crying just because I’m not a baby. You should be really happy that I’m almost grown into a man because you know I’ve promised to build you a house with the money I earn, and then you won’t have to work anymore. We’ll have a servant just like the people downstairs, and Dad can stay home, sit by the fire, read the newspaper, or play with me and Maud, have pillow fights, and tell stories and—”
“It’s all right, dearie,” said Nora, kissing him. “I’m not crying now, and you mustn’t either, or your eyes will be all red and you won’t be able to go with Charley at all.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Nora said, kissing him. “I’m not crying now, and you shouldn’t either, or your eyes will be all red and you won’t be able to go with Charley at all.”
When she had finished dressing him, Frankie sat for some time in silence, apparently lost in thought. At last he said:
When she finished getting him ready, Frankie sat in silence for a while, seemingly deep in thought. Finally, he spoke:
“Why don’t you get a baby, Mother? You could nurse it, and I could have it to play with instead of going out in the street.”
“Why don’t you have a baby, Mom? You could take care of it, and I’d have someone to play with instead of hanging out on the street.”
“We can’t afford to keep a baby, dear. You know, even as it is, sometimes we have to go without things we want because we haven’t the money to buy them. Babies need many things that cost lots of money.”
“We can’t afford to have a baby, honey. You know that sometimes we have to skip things we want because we don’t have the money for them. Babies need a lot of stuff that costs a lot of money.”
“When I build our house when I’m a man, I’ll take jolly good care not to have a gas-stove in it. That’s what runs away with all the money; we’re always putting pennies in the slot. And that reminds me: Charley said I’ll have to take a ha’penny to put in the mishnery box. Oh, dear, I’m tired of sitting still. I wish he’d come. What time is it now, Mother?”
“When I build our house when I’m grown up, I’ll make sure not to have a gas stove in it. That’s what eats up all the money; we’re always feeding coins into it. And that reminds me: Charley said I need to bring a halfpenny to put in the missionary box. Oh, man, I’m tired of just sitting here. I wish he’d hurry up. What time is it now, Mom?”
Before she could answer both Frankie’s anxiety and the painful ordeal of sitting still were terminated by the loud peal at the bell announcing Charley’s arrival, and Frankie, without troubling to observe the usual formality of looking out of the window to see if it was a runaway ring, had clattered half-way downstairs before he heard his mother calling him to come back for the halfpenny; then he clattered up again and then down again at such a rate and with so much noise as to rouse the indignation of all the respectable people in the house.
Before she could respond, both Frankie’s anxiety and the uncomfortable task of sitting still ended with the loud ring of the bell announcing Charley’s arrival. Without bothering to check the window to see if it was actually a runaway ring, Frankie dashed halfway down the stairs. It was then that he heard his mother calling him back for the halfpenny. So, he rushed back up and then down again, making so much noise that it disturbed the respectable people living in the house.
When he arrived at the bottom of the stairs he remembered that he had omitted to say goodbye, and as it was too far to go up again he rang the bell and then went into the middle of the road and looked up at the window that Nora opened.
When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he realized he had forgotten to say goodbye. Since it was too far to go back up, he rang the bell and then stood in the middle of the road, looking up at the window that Nora had opened.
“Goodbye, Mother,” he shouted. “Tell Dad I forgot to say it before I came down.”
“Bye, Mom,” he yelled. “Tell Dad I forgot to say it before I came down.”
The School was not conducted in the chapel itself, but in a large lecture hall under it. At one end was a small platform raised about six inches from the floor; on this was a chair and a small table. A number of groups of chairs and benches were arranged at intervals round the sides and in the centre of the room, each group of seats accommodating a separate class. On the walls—which were painted a pale green—were a number of coloured pictures: Moses striking the Rock, the Israelites dancing round the Golden Calf, and so on. As the reader is aware, Frankie had never been to a Sunday School of any kind before, and he stood for a moment looking in at the door and half afraid to enter. The lessons had already commenced, but the scholars had not yet settled down to work.
The School wasn't held in the chapel itself, but in a large lecture hall beneath it. At one end, there was a small platform raised about six inches off the floor; on it sat a chair and a small table. Several groups of chairs and benches were set up at intervals around the sides and in the center of the room, with each group accommodating a separate class. The walls, painted a light green, displayed several colorful pictures: Moses striking the Rock, the Israelites dancing around the Golden Calf, and so on. As you might know, Frankie had never been to any Sunday School before, and he stood at the door for a moment, feeling a bit nervous about entering. The lessons had already started, but the students hadn't settled down to work yet.
The scene was one of some disorder: some of the children talking, laughing or playing, and the teachers alternately threatening and coaxing them. The girls’ and the very young children’s classes were presided over by ladies: the boys’ teachers were men.
The scene was a bit chaotic: some of the kids were chatting, laughing, or playing, while the teachers were switching between threatening and trying to persuade them. The classes for girls and the little ones were led by women, while the boys' classes were taught by men.
The reader already has some slight knowledge of a few of these people. There was Mr Didlum, Mr Sweater, Mr Rushton and Mr Hunter and Mrs Starvem (Ruth Easton’s former mistress). On this occasion, in addition to the teachers and other officials of the Sunday School, there were also present a considerable number of prettily dressed ladies and a few gentlemen, who had come in the hope of meeting the Rev. John Starr, the young clergyman who was going to be their minister for the next few weeks during the absence of their regular shepherd, Mr Belcher, who was going away for a holiday for the benefit of his health. Mr Belcher was not suffering from any particular malady, but was merely “run down”, and rumour had it that this condition had been brought about by the rigorous asceticism of his life and his intense devotion to the arduous labours of his holy calling.
The reader already knows a bit about some of these people. There was Mr. Didlum, Mr. Sweater, Mr. Rushton, Mr. Hunter, and Mrs. Starvem (Ruth Easton’s former mistress). On this occasion, along with the teachers and other officials of the Sunday School, there were also quite a few nicely dressed ladies and a few gentlemen, who had come hoping to meet the Rev. John Starr, the young clergyman who would be their minister for the next few weeks while their regular minister, Mr. Belcher, was away on holiday to improve his health. Mr. Belcher wasn’t suffering from any specific illness; he was just feeling “run down,” and the rumor was that this condition was due to the strict asceticism of his lifestyle and his deep devotion to the demanding work of his religious duties.
Mr Starr had conducted the service in the Shining Light Chapel that morning, and a great sensation had been produced by the young minister’s earnest and eloquent address, which was of a very different style from that of their regular minister. Although perhaps they had not quite grasped the real significance of all that he had said, most of them had been favourably impressed by the young clergyman’s appearance and manner in the morning: but that might have arisen from prepossession and force of habit, for they were accustomed, as a matter of course, to think well of any minister. There were, however, one or two members of the congregation who were not without some misgivings and doubts as to the soundness of his doctrines. Mr Starr had promised that he would look in some time during the afternoon to say a few words to the Sunday School children, and consequently on this particular afternoon all the grown-ups were looking forward so eagerly to hearing him again that not much was done in the way of lessons. Every time a late arrival entered all eyes were directed towards the door in the hope and expectation that it was he.
Mr. Starr had led the service at Shining Light Chapel that morning, and the young minister’s passionate and articulate speech had made quite an impression, differing significantly from their regular minister's style. While they might not have fully understood the deeper meaning of everything he said, most of them found themselves positively impacted by the young clergyman’s presence and demeanor that morning. However, this could have been due to bias and habit, as they were used to generally thinking well of any minister. Still, there were a couple of congregation members who had some concerns and doubts about the validity of his teachings. Mr. Starr had promised to stop by later in the afternoon to say a few words to the Sunday School kids, so on that particular afternoon, all the adults were eagerly anticipating hearing him again, resulting in not much being accomplished in their lessons. Each time someone arrived late, all eyes turned toward the door in hope that it was him.
When Frankie, standing at the door, saw all the people looking at him he drew back timidly.
When Frankie stood at the door and saw everyone looking at him, he stepped back shyly.
“Come on, man,” said Charley. “You needn’t be afraid; it’s not like a weekday school; they can’t do nothing to us, not even if we don’t behave ourselves. There’s our class over in that corner and that’s our teacher, Mr Hunter. You can sit next to me. Come on!”
“Come on, dude,” said Charley. “You don’t have to be scared; it’s not like a regular school day; they can’t do anything to us, not even if we act up. There’s our class over in that corner and that’s our teacher, Mr. Hunter. You can sit next to me. Let’s go!”
Thus encouraged, Frankie followed Charley over to the class, and both sat down. The teacher was so kind and spoke so gently to the children that in a few minutes Frankie felt quite at home.
Thus encouraged, Frankie followed Charley over to the class, and both sat down. The teacher was so kind and spoke so gently to the children that in a few minutes, Frankie felt right at home.
When Hunter noticed how well cared for and well dressed he was he thought the child must belong to well-to-do, respectable parents.
When Hunter saw how well taken care of and stylishly dressed he was, he thought the child must come from wealthy, respectable parents.
Frankie did not pay much attention to the lesson, for he was too much interested in the pictures on the walls and in looking at the other children. He also noticed a very fat man who was not teaching at all, but drifted aimlessly about the room from one class to another. After a time he came and stood by the class where Frankie was, and, after nodding to Hunter, remained near, listening and smiling patronizingly at the children. He was arrayed in a long garment of costly black cloth, a sort of frock coat, and by the rotundity of his figure he seemed to be one of those accustomed to sit in the chief places at feasts. This was the Rev. Mr Belcher, minister of the Shining Light Chapel. His short, thick neck was surrounded by a studless collar, and apparently buttonless, being fastened in some mysterious way known only to himself, and he showed no shirt front.
Frankie didn’t pay much attention to the lesson because he was too interested in the pictures on the walls and watching the other kids. He also noticed a very heavy man who wasn’t teaching at all but was wandering aimlessly around the room from one class to another. After a while, he came over and stood by the class where Frankie was, nodding to Hunter and staying close, listening and smiling condescendingly at the children. He was dressed in a long, expensive black coat, kind of like a frock coat, and his round figure suggested he was someone used to sitting in the best seats at feasts. This was Rev. Mr. Belcher, the minister of the Shining Light Chapel. His short, thick neck was surrounded by a collar without studs and seemingly no buttons, fastened in some mysterious way known only to him, and he didn’t show any shirt front.
The long garment beforementioned was unbuttoned and through the opening there protruded a vast expanse of waistcoat and trousers, distended almost to bursting by the huge globe of flesh they contained. A gold watch-chain with a locket extended partly across the visible portion of the envelope of the globe. He had very large feet which were carefully encased in soft calfskin boots. If he had removed the long garment, this individual would have resembled a balloon: the feet representing the car and the small head that surmounted the globe, the safety valve; as it was it did actually serve the purpose of a safety valve, the owner being, in consequence of gross overfeeding and lack of natural exercise, afflicted with chronic flatulence, which manifested itself in frequent belchings forth through the mouth of the foul gases generated in the stomach by the decomposition of the foods with which it was generally loaded. But as the Rev. Mr Belcher had never been seen with his coat off, no one ever noticed the resemblance. It was not necessary for him to take his coat off: his part in life was not to help to produce, but to help to devour the produce of the labour of others.
The long coat mentioned earlier was unbuttoned, revealing a large expanse of waistcoat and trousers, stretched almost to the limit by the massive body it contained. A gold watch-chain with a locket hung partly across the visible area of the body. He had very large feet that were carefully fitted into soft calfskin boots. If he had taken off the coat, this person would have looked like a balloon: the feet representing the base and the small head on top acting as the release valve; as it was, it actually functioned as a safety valve, with the owner suffering from chronic flatulence due to overeating and lack of exercise, which resulted in frequent belching of foul gases created in the stomach from the decomposed food he usually consumed. But since the Rev. Mr. Belcher had never been seen without his coat, no one ever noticed the resemblance. He didn't need to take off his coat: his role in life was not to help produce, but to help consume the produce of others' labor.
After exchanging a few words and grins with Hunter, he moved on to another class, and presently Frankie with a feeling of awe noticed that the confused murmuring sound that had hitherto pervaded the place was hushed. The time allotted for lessons had expired, and the teachers were quietly distributing hymn-books to the children. Meanwhile the balloon had drifted up to the end of the hall and had ascended the platform, where it remained stationary by the side of the table, occasionally emitting puffs of gas through the safety valve. On the table were several books, and also a pile of folded cards. These latter were about six inches by three inches; there was some printing on the outside: one of them was lying open on the table, showing the inside, which was ruled and had money columns.
After exchanging a few words and smiles with Hunter, he moved on to another class, and soon Frankie, feeling a sense of awe, noticed that the chaotic murmuring that had filled the room had gone quiet. The time for lessons had ended, and the teachers were quietly handing out hymn books to the students. Meanwhile, the balloon had floated up to the far end of the hall and had risen to the platform, where it stayed still beside the table, occasionally releasing puffs of gas through the safety valve. On the table were several books and a stack of folded cards. These cards were about six inches by three inches; there was some text printed on the outside. One of them was open on the table, showing the inside, which was lined with columns for money.
Presently Mr Belcher reached out a flabby white hand and, taking up one of the folded cards, he looked around upon the under-fed, ill-clad children with a large, sweet, benevolent, fatherly smile, and then in a drawling voice occasionally broken by explosions of flatulence, he said:
Presently, Mr. Belcher reached out a soft, pale hand and picked up one of the folded cards. He looked around at the undernourished, poorly dressed kids with a big, warm, fatherly smile, and then, in a slow voice occasionally interrupted by bursts of flatulence, he said:
“My dear children. This afternoon as I was standing near Brother Hunter’s class I heard him telling them of the wanderings of the Children of Israel in the wilderness, and of all the wonderful things that were done for them; and I thought how sad it was that they were so ungrateful.
“My dear children. This afternoon as I was standing near Brother Hunter’s class, I heard him talking to them about the journey of the Children of Israel in the wilderness and all the amazing things that were done for them. I thought it was really unfortunate how ungrateful they were.”
“Now those ungrateful Israelites had received many things, but we have even more cause to be grateful than they had, for we have received even more abundantly than they did.” (Here the good man’s voice was stilled by a succession of explosions.) “And I am sure,” he resumed, “that none of you would like to be even as those Israelites, ungrateful for all the good things you have received. Oh, how thankful you should be for having been made happy English children. Now, I am sure that you are grateful and that you will all be very glad of an opportunity of showing your gratitude by doing something in return.
“Now those ungrateful Israelites received a lot, but we have even more reasons to be thankful than they did, because we have received much more abundantly than they did.” (At this point, the good man’s voice was interrupted by a series of loud explosions.) “And I know,” he continued, “that none of you would want to be like those Israelites, ungrateful for all the good things you have. Oh, how thankful you should be for being happy English children. Now, I'm sure you're all grateful and that you'll be eager to show your appreciation by doing something in return.
“Doubtless some of you have noticed the unseemly condition of the interior of our Chapel. The flooring is broken in countless places, the walls are sadly in need of cleansing and distempering, and they also need cementing externally to keep out the draught. The seats and benches and the chairs are also in a most unseemly condition and need varnishing.
“Surely some of you have noticed the poor state of our Chapel’s interior. The flooring is damaged in many spots, the walls really need cleaning and repainting, and they also need cementing outside to block the draft. The seats, benches, and chairs are also in bad shape and need varnishing.”
“Now, therefore, after much earnest meditation and prayer, it has been decided to open a Subscription List, and although times are very hard just now, we believe we shall succeed in getting enough to have the work done; so I want each one of you to take one of these cards and go round to all your friends to see how much you can collect. It doesn’t matter how trifling the amounts are, because the smallest donations will be thankfully received.
“Now, after a lot of serious thinking and prayer, we've decided to start a Subscription List. Even though times are really tough right now, we believe we can get enough support to make this happen. So, I want each of you to take one of these cards and go around to all your friends to see how much you can collect. It doesn’t matter how small the amounts are, because even the tiniest donations will be greatly appreciated.”
“Now, I hope you will all do your very best. Ask everyone you know; do not refrain from asking people because you think that they are too poor to give a donation, but remind them that if they cannot give their thousands they can give the widow’s mite. Ask Everyone! First of all ask those whom you feel certain will give: then ask all those whom you think may possibly give: and, finally, ask all those whom you feel certain will not give: and you will be surprised to find that many of these last will donate abundantly.
“Now, I hope you all do your very best. Ask everyone you know; don’t hesitate to ask people just because you think they don't have enough to donate, but remind them that even if they can’t give a lot, they can still contribute something small. Ask everyone! First, ask those you know will definitely give; then ask those who might consider it; and finally, ask those you think definitely won’t donate. You’ll be surprised to see that many of the last group will give generously.”
“If your friends are very poor and unable to give a large donation at one time, a good plan would be to arrange to call upon them every Saturday afternoon with your card to collect their donations. And while you are asking others, do not forget to give what you can yourselves. Just a little self-denial, and those pennies and half-pennies which you so often spend on sweets and other unnecessary things might be given—as a donation—to the good cause.”
“If your friends are really struggling financially and can't make a big donation at once, a great idea would be to visit them every Saturday afternoon with your card to gather their contributions. And while you're asking others, don't forget to chip in yourself. Just a bit of self-control, and the pennies and small coins you often spend on snacks and other non-essentials could be donated to the cause.”
Here the holy man paused again, and there was a rumbling, gurgling noise in the interior of the balloon, followed by several escapes of gas through the safety valve. The paroxysm over, the apostle of self-denial continued:
Here the holy man paused again, and there was a rumbling, gurgling noise inside the balloon, followed by several releases of gas through the safety valve. Once the commotion subsided, the apostle of self-denial continued:
“All those who wish to collect donations will stay behind for a few minutes after school, when Brother Hunter—who has kindly consented to act as secretary to the fund—will issue the cards.
“All those who want to collect donations will stay after school for a few minutes when Brother Hunter—who has kindly agreed to be the secretary for the fund—will hand out the cards.
“I would like here to say a few words of thanks to Brother Hunter for the great interest he has displayed in this matter, and for all the trouble he is taking to help us to gather in the donations.”
“I'd like to take a moment to thank Brother Hunter for his strong interest in this matter and for all the effort he’s putting in to help us collect the donations.”
This tribute was well deserved; Hunter in fact had originated the whole scheme in the hope of securing the job for Rushton & Co., and two-and-a-half per cent of the profits for himself.
This tribute was well deserved; Hunter had actually come up with the entire plan in hopes of landing the job for Rushton & Co., and securing two-and-a-half percent of the profits for himself.
Mr Belcher now replaced the collecting card on the table and, taking up one of the hymn-books, gave out the words and afterwards conducted the singing, flourishing one fat, flabby white hand in the air and holding the book in the other.
Mr. Belcher now put the collecting card back on the table and, picking up one of the hymn books, announced the words and then led the singing, waving one chubby, soft white hand in the air and holding the book in the other.
As the last strains of the music died away, he closed his eyes and a sweet smile widened his mouth as he stretched forth his right hand, open, palm down, with the fingers close together, and said:
As the last notes of the music faded, he closed his eyes and a sweet smile spread across his face as he stretched out his right hand, open, palm down, with his fingers together, and said:
“Let us pray.”
"Let's pray."
With much shuffling of feet everyone knelt down. Hunter’s lanky form was distributed over a very large area; his body lay along one of the benches, his legs and feet sprawled over the floor, and his huge hands clasped the sides of the seat. His eyes were tightly closed and an expression of the most intense misery pervaded his long face.
With a lot of shuffling, everyone knelt down. Hunter's tall, thin frame spread out over a large area; his body lay along one of the benches, his legs and feet spread out on the floor, and his huge hands gripped the sides of the seat. His eyes were tightly shut, and a look of deep misery covered his long face.
Mrs Starvem, being so fat that she knew if she once knelt down she would never be able to get up again, compromised by sitting on the extreme edge of her chair, resting her elbows on the back of the seat in front of her, and burying her face in her hands. It was a very large face, but her hands were capacious enough to receive it.
Mrs. Starvem was so heavy that she knew if she ever knelt down, she wouldn't be able to get back up. Instead, she settled for sitting on the very edge of her chair, resting her elbows on the back of the seat in front of her and covering her face with her hands. Her face was quite large, but her hands were big enough to hold it.
In a seat at the back of the hall knelt a pale-faced, weary-looking little woman about thirty-six years of age, very shabbily dressed, who had come in during the singing. This was Mrs White, the caretaker, Bert White’s mother. When her husband died, the committee of the Chapel, out of charity, gave her this work, for which they paid her six shillings a week. Of course, they could not offer her full employment; the idea was that she could get other work as well, charing and things of that kind, and do the Chapel work in between. There wasn’t much to do: just the heating furnace to light when necessary; the Chapel, committee rooms, classrooms and Sunday School to sweep and scrub out occasionally; the hymn-books to collect, etc. Whenever they had a tea meeting—which was on an average about twice a week—there were the trestle tables to fix up, the chairs to arrange, the table to set out, and then, supervised by Miss Didlum or some other lady, the tea to make. There was rather a lot to do on the days following these functions: the washing up, the tables and chairs to put away, the floor to sweep, and so on; but the extra work was supposed to be compensated by the cakes and broken victuals generally left over from the feast, which were much appreciated as a welcome change from the bread and dripping or margarine that constituted Mrs White’s and Bert’s usual fare.
In a seat at the back of the hall knelt a pale-faced, tired-looking woman in her mid-thirties, dressed very poorly, who had come in during the singing. This was Mrs. White, the caretaker, Bert White’s mother. After her husband passed away, the Chapel committee, out of kindness, gave her this job, for which they paid her six shillings a week. Naturally, they couldn’t provide her with full-time work; the idea was that she could find other jobs too, like cleaning and similar tasks, and do the Chapel work in between. There wasn’t much to do: just lighting the heating furnace when needed; occasionally sweeping and scrubbing the Chapel, committee rooms, classrooms, and Sunday School; collecting the hymn books, etc. Whenever they had a tea meeting—which happened about twice a week—there were the trestle tables to set up, chairs to arrange, the table to prepare, and then, under the supervision of Miss Didlum or another lady, the tea to make. There was quite a bit to handle on the days after these events: washing up, putting away the tables and chairs, sweeping the floor, and so on; but the extra work was supposed to be balanced out by the cakes and leftover food usually left over from the feast, which were greatly appreciated as a welcome change from the bread and dripping or margarine that made up Mrs. White’s and Bert’s usual meals.
There were several advantages attached to the position: the caretaker became acquainted with the leading members and their wives, some of who, out of charity, occasionally gave her a day’s work as charwoman, the wages being on about the same generous scale as those she earned at the Chapel, sometimes supplemented by a parcel of broken victuals or some castoff clothing.
There were several perks to the job: the caretaker got to know the key members and their wives, some of whom, out of kindness, would occasionally hire her for a day's work as a cleaner, with pay roughly matching the decent rates she earned at the Chapel, sometimes complemented by a bag of leftover food or some hand-me-down clothes.
An evil-minded, worldly or unconverted person might possibly sum up the matter thus: these people required this work done: they employed this woman to do it, taking advantage of her poverty to impose upon her conditions of price and labour that they would not have liked to endure themselves. Although she worked very hard, early and late, the money they paid her as wages was insufficient to enable her to provide herself with the bare necessaries of life. Then her employers, being good, kind, generous, Christian people, came to the rescue and bestowed charity, in the form of cast-off clothing and broken victuals.
An evil-minded, worldly, or unconverted person might sum it up this way: these people needed this work done, so they hired this woman, taking advantage of her poverty to impose terms of pay and labor that they wouldn’t want to endure themselves. Even though she worked extremely hard, early and late, the wages they paid her weren’t enough for her to cover the basic necessities of life. Then her employers, being good, kind, generous, Christian people, stepped in and offered charity in the form of used clothing and leftover food.
Should any such evil-minded, worldly or unconverted persons happen to read these lines, it is a sufficient answer to their impious and malicious criticisms to say that no such thoughts ever entered the simple mind of Mrs White herself: on the contrary, this very afternoon as she knelt in the Chapel, wearing an old mantle that some years previously had adorned the obese person of the saintly Mrs Starvem, her heart was filled with gratitude towards her generous benefactors.
Should any evil-minded, worldly, or unconverted individuals happen to read these lines, it's enough to respond to their wicked and spiteful criticisms by saying that such thoughts never crossed the simple mind of Mrs. White herself. On the contrary, just this afternoon, as she knelt in the Chapel wearing an old cloak that some years earlier had belonged to the plump figure of the saintly Mrs. Starvem, her heart was filled with gratitude towards her generous benefactors.
During the prayer the door was softly opened: a gentleman in clerical dress entered on tiptoe and knelt down next to Mr Didlum. He came in very softly, but all the same most of those present heard him and lifted their heads or peeped through their fingers to see who it was, and when they recognized him a sound like a sigh swept through the hall.
During the prayer, the door quietly opened: a man in clerical attire crept in on tiptoe and knelt beside Mr. Didlum. He entered very quietly, but still, most of the people there heard him and lifted their heads or peeked through their fingers to see who it was, and when they recognized him, a sound like a sigh swept through the hall.
At the end of the prayer, amid groans and cries of “Amen”, the balloon slowly descended from the platform, and collapsed into one of the seats, and everyone rose up from the floor. When all were seated and the shuffling, coughing and blowing of noses had ceased Mr Didlum stood up and said:
At the end of the prayer, with groans and shouts of “Amen,” the balloon slowly floated down from the platform and landed in one of the seats, and everyone got up from the floor. When everyone was seated and the shuffling, coughing, and nose blowing had stopped, Mr. Didlum stood up and said:
“Before we sing the closin’ ’ymn, the gentleman hon my left, the Rev. Mr John Starr, will say a few words.”
“Before we sing the closing hymn, the gentleman on my left, the Rev. Mr. John Starr, will say a few words.”
An expectant murmur rippled through the hall. The ladies lifted their eyebrows and nodded, smiled and whispered to each other; the gentlemen assumed various attitudes and expressions; the children were very quiet. Everyone was in a state of suppressed excitement as John Starr rose from his seat and, stepping up on to the platform, stood by the side of the table, facing them.
An eager buzz filled the hall. The women raised their eyebrows, nodded, smiled, and whispered to one another; the men took on different postures and looks; the kids were very quiet. Everyone was filled with excitement as John Starr got up from his seat, stepped onto the platform, and stood beside the table, facing the crowd.
He was about twenty-six years of age, tall and slenderly built. His clean-cut, intellectual face, with its lofty forehead, and his air of refinement and culture were in striking contrast to the coarse appearance of the other adults in the room: the vulgar, ignorant, uncultivated crowd of profit-mongers and hucksters in front of him. But it was not merely his air of good breeding and the general comeliness of his exterior that attracted and held one. There was an indefinable something about him—an atmosphere of gentleness and love that seemed to radiate from his whole being, almost compelling confidence and affection from all those with whom he came in contact. As he stood there facing the others with an inexpressibly winning smile upon his comely face, it seemed impossible that there could be any fellowship between him and them.
He was about twenty-six years old, tall and slim. His sharp, intellectual face, with its high forehead, along with his refined and cultured demeanor, stood out in stark contrast to the rough appearance of the other adults in the room: the crass, uninformed, and unrefined group of profit-driven individuals in front of him. But it wasn't just his air of good breeding and overall attractiveness that drew people in. There was an indescribable quality about him—an aura of kindness and love that seemed to emanate from him, almost demanding trust and warmth from everyone he interacted with. As he stood there facing the others with an incredibly charming smile on his handsome face, it felt impossible that there could be any connection between him and them.
There was nothing in his appearance to give anyone even an inkling of the truth, which was: that he was there for the purpose of bolstering up the characters of the despicable crew of sweaters and slave-drivers who paid his wages.
There was nothing about his looks to hint at the truth, which was that he was there to support the reputations of the awful group of exploiters and taskmasters who paid him.
He did not give a very long address this afternoon—only just a Few Words; but they were very precious, original and illuminating. He told them of certain Thoughts that had occurred to his mind on his way there that afternoon; and as they listened, Sweater, Rushton, Didlum, Hunter, and the other disciples exchanged significant looks and gestures. Was it not magnificent! Such power! Such reasoning! In fact, as they afterwards modestly admitted to each other, it was so profound that even they experienced great difficulty in fathoming the speaker’s meaning.
He didn’t give a very long speech this afternoon—just a few words; but they were really valuable, unique, and eye-opening. He shared some thoughts that came to him on his way there that afternoon; and as they listened, Sweater, Rushton, Didlum, Hunter, and the other followers exchanged meaningful looks and gestures. Wasn’t it amazing! Such power! Such logic! In fact, as they later modestly confessed to one another, it was so deep that even they struggled to fully understand what the speaker meant.
As for the ladies, they were motionless and dumb with admiration. They sat with flushed faces, shining eyes and palpitating hearts, looking hungrily at the dear man as he proceeded:
As for the women, they were still and speechless with admiration. They sat with flushed faces, sparkling eyes, and racing hearts, looking eagerly at the dear man as he continued:
“Unfortunately, our time this afternoon does not permit us to dwell at length upon these Thoughts. Perhaps at some future date we may have the blessed privilege of so doing; but this afternoon I have been asked to say a Few Words on another subject. The failing health of your dear minister has for some time past engaged the anxious attention of the congregation.”
“Unfortunately, we don’t have enough time this afternoon to explore these thoughts in depth. Maybe in the future, we’ll have the wonderful opportunity to do so; but today I’ve been asked to share a few words on a different topic. The declining health of your beloved minister has been a concern for the congregation for some time now.”
Sympathetic glances were directed towards the interesting invalid; the ladies murmured, “Poor dear!” and other expressions of anxious concern.
Sympathetic glances were cast toward the intriguing person with a disability; the women whispered, “Poor thing!” and other words of worried concern.
“Although naturally robust,” continued Starr, ’long, continued Overwork, the loving solicitude for Others that often prevented him taking even necessary repose, and a too rigorous devotion to the practice of Self-denial have at last brought about the inevitable Breakdown, and rendered a period of Rest absolutely imperative.”
“Although naturally strong,” continued Starr, “long hours of work, the caring concern for others that often kept him from even taking necessary breaks, and a harsh dedication to the practice of self-denial have finally led to an unavoidable breakdown, making a period of rest absolutely necessary.”
The orator paused to take breath, and the silence that ensued was disturbed only by faint rumblings in the interior of the ascetic victim of overwork.
The speaker paused to catch his breath, and the silence that followed was broken only by soft rumblings from the exhausted body of the hardworking ascetic.
“With this laudable object,” proceeded Starr, “a Subscription List was quietly opened about a month ago, and those dear children who had cards and assisted in the good work of collecting donations will be pleased to hear that altogether a goodly sum was gathered, but as it was not quite enough, the committee voted a further amount out of the General Fund, and at a special meeting held last Friday evening, your dear Shepherd was presented with an illuminated address, and a purse of gold sufficient to defray the expenses of a month’s holiday in the South of France.
“With this admirable goal,” continued Starr, “a Subscription List was quietly started about a month ago, and those lovely children who had cards and helped with collecting donations will be happy to hear that a nice amount was gathered. However, since it wasn’t quite enough, the committee agreed to allocate additional funds from the General Fund. At a special meeting last Friday evening, your dear Shepherd was presented with a beautifully decorated certificate and a purse of gold that covers the expenses for a month’s holiday in the South of France."
“Although, of course, he regrets being separated from you even for such a brief period he feels that in going he is choosing the lesser of two evils. It is better to go to the South of France for a month than to continue Working in spite of the warnings of exhausted nature and perhaps be taken away from you altogether—to Heaven.”
“Even though he obviously regrets being apart from you, even for a short time, he thinks that leaving is the better option. It's preferable to spend a month in the South of France than to keep working despite the signs of his exhaustion and risk being taken away from you completely—to Heaven.”
“God forbid!” fervently ejaculated several disciples, and a ghastly pallor overspread the features of the object of their prayers.
“God forbid!” several disciples exclaimed passionately, and a sickly pallor spread across the face of the person they were praying for.
“Even as it is there is a certain amount of danger. Let us hope and pray for the best, but if the worst should happen and he is called upon to Ascend, there will be some satisfaction in knowing that you have done what you could to avert the dreadful calamity.”
“Even with things as they are, there’s still some danger. Let’s hope and pray for the best, but if the worst happens and he is called to Ascend, at least you can take some comfort in knowing that you did everything you could to prevent the terrible disaster.”
Here, probably as a precaution against the possibility of an involuntary ascent, a large quantity of gas was permitted to escape through the safety valve of the balloon.
Here, likely as a safety measure to prevent an unintentional rise, a significant amount of gas was allowed to escape through the balloon's safety valve.
“He sets out on his pilgrimage tomorrow,” concluded Starr, “and I am sure he will be followed by the good wishes and prayers of all the members of his flock.”
“He’s starting his journey tomorrow,” Starr concluded, “and I’m sure he’ll be supported by the good wishes and prayers of everyone in his congregation.”
The reverend gentleman resumed his seat, and almost immediately it became evident from the oscillations of the balloon that Mr Belcher was desirous of rising to say a Few Words in acknowledgement, but he was restrained by the entreaties of those near him, who besought him not to exhaust himself. He afterwards said that he would not have been able to say much even if they had permitted him to speak, because he felt too full.
The reverend gentleman sat back down, and almost right away, it was clear from the movement of the balloon that Mr. Belcher wanted to stand up and say a few words in acknowledgment, but he was urged by those around him not to wear himself out. He later mentioned that even if they had let him speak, he wouldn't have been able to say much because he felt too overwhelmed.
“During the absence of our beloved pastor,” said Brother Didlum, who now rose to give out the closing hymn, “his flock will not be left hentirely without a shepherd, for we ’ave arranged with Mr Starr to come and say a Few Words to us hevery Sunday.”
“While our beloved pastor is away,” Brother Didlum said, standing up to lead the closing hymn, “his congregation won’t be completely without guidance, because we’ve arranged for Mr. Starr to come and share a few words with us every Sunday.”
From the manner in which they constantly referred to themselves, it might have been thought that they were a flock of sheep instead of being what they really were—a pack of wolves.
From the way they kept talking about themselves, you could think they were a flock of sheep instead of what they actually were—a pack of wolves.
When they heard Brother Didlum’s announcement a murmur of intense rapture rose from the ladies, and Mr Starr rolled his eyes and smiled sweetly. Brother Didlum did not mention the details of the “arrangement”, to have done so at that time would have been most unseemly, but the following extract from the accounts of the chapel will not be out of place here: “Paid to Rev. John Starr for Sunday, Nov. 14—£4.4.0 per the treasurer.” It was not a large sum considering the great services rendered by Mr Starr, but, small as it was, it is to be feared that many worldly, unconverted persons will think it was far too much to pay for a Few Words, even such wise words as Mr John Starr’s admittedly always were. But the Labourer is worthy of his hire.
When they heard Brother Didlum’s announcement, a wave of excitement swept through the ladies, and Mr. Starr rolled his eyes and smiled sweetly. Brother Didlum didn’t go into detail about the “arrangement”; discussing it then would have been quite inappropriate. This excerpt from the chapel’s accounts fits here: “Paid to Rev. John Starr for Sunday, Nov. 14—£4.4.0 per the treasurer.” It wasn’t a large amount considering the significant services Mr. Starr provided, but, even though it was small, it’s likely that many worldly, unconverted people will believe it was way too much to pay for a few words, even for the wise words that Mr. John Starr always had. But the laborer is worthy of his hire.
After the “service” was over, most of the children, including Charley and Frankie, remained to get collecting cards. Mr Starr was surrounded by a crowd of admirers, and a little later, when he rode away with Mr Belcher and Mr Sweater in the latter’s motor car, the ladies looked hungrily after that conveyance, listening to the melancholy “pip, pip” of its hooter and trying to console themselves with the reflection that they would see him again in a few hours’ time at the evening service.
After the “service” was over, most of the kids, including Charley and Frankie, stuck around to get collecting cards. Mr. Starr was surrounded by a group of fans, and later, when he drove off with Mr. Belcher and Mr. Sweater in the latter’s car, the ladies watched eagerly as the vehicle left, listening to the sad “pip, pip” of its horn and trying to comfort themselves with the thought that they would see him again in a few hours at the evening service.
Chapter 18
The Lodger
In accordance with his arrangement with Hunter, Owen commenced the work in the drawing-room on the Monday morning. Harlow and Easton were distempering some of the ceilings, and about ten o’clock they went down to the scullery to get some more whitewash. Crass was there as usual, pretending to be very busy mixing colours.
In line with his agreement with Hunter, Owen started the work in the living room on Monday morning. Harlow and Easton were applying a new coat to some of the ceilings, and around ten o’clock, they headed down to the pantry to grab some more whitewash. Crass was there as usual, acting like he was really busy mixing colors.
“Well, wot do you think of it?” he said as he served them with what they required.
“Well, what do you think of it?” he said as he provided them with what they needed.
“Think of what?” asked Easton.
“Think of what?” Easton asked.
“Why, hour speshul hartist,” replied Crass with a sneer. “Do you think ’e’s goin’ to get through with it?”
“Why, our special artist,” replied Crass with a sneer. “Do you think he’s going to manage it?”
“Shouldn’t like to say,” replied Easton guardedly.
“Wouldn't want to say,” Easton replied cautiously.
“You know it’s one thing to draw on a bit of paper and colour it with a penny box of paints, and quite another thing to do it on a wall or ceiling,” continued Crass. “Ain’t it?”
“You know, it’s one thing to draw on a piece of paper and color it with a cheap set of paints, and quite another to do it on a wall or ceiling,” Crass continued. “Right?”
“Yes; that’s true enough,” said Harlow.
“Yes, that’s definitely true,” said Harlow.
“Do you believe they’re ’is own designs?” Crass went on.
“Do you think they’re his own designs?” Crass continued.
“Be rather ’ard to tell,” remarked Easton, embarrassed.
“It's pretty hard to say,” Easton said, feeling embarrassed.
Neither Harlow nor Easton shared Crass’s sentiments in this matter, but at the same time they could not afford to offend him by sticking up for Owen.
Neither Harlow nor Easton agreed with Crass on this issue, but at the same time, they couldn’t risk offending him by defending Owen.
“If you was to ast me, quietly,” Crass added, “I should be more inclined to say as ’e copied it all out of some book.”
“If you were to ask me, quietly,” Crass added, “I’d be more inclined to say that he copied it all out of some book.”
“That’s just about the size of it, mate,” agreed Harlow.
"That’s pretty much it, buddy," Harlow agreed.
“It would be a bit of all right if ’e was to make a bloody mess of it, wouldn’t it?” Crass continued with a malignant leer.
“It would be kind of funny if he were to really mess it up, wouldn’t it?” Crass continued with a nasty grin.
“Not arf!” said Harlow.
"Not at all!" said Harlow.
When the two men regained the upper landing on which they were working they exchanged significant glances and laughed quietly. Hearing these half-suppressed sounds of merriment, Philpot, who was working alone in a room close by, put his head out of the doorway.
When the two men reached the upper landing where they were working, they exchanged meaningful glances and laughed softly. Hearing those barely contained sounds of laughter, Philpot, who was working alone in a nearby room, peeked his head out of the doorway.
“Wot’s the game?” he inquired in a low voice.
“What's the game?” he asked in a low voice.
“Ole Crass ain’t arf wild about Owen doin’ that room,” replied Harlow, and repeated the substance of Crass’s remarks.
“Ole Crass isn’t too happy about Owen doing that room,” replied Harlow, and repeated what Crass had said.
“It is a bit of a take-down for the bleeder, ain’t it, ’avin’ to play second fiddle,” said Philpot with a delighted grin.
“It’s a bit of a knock for the loser, isn’t it, having to play second fiddle,” said Philpot with a delighted grin.
“’E’s ’opin’ Owen’ll make a mess of it,” Easton whispered.
“He's hoping Owen will mess it up,” Easton whispered.
“Well, ’e’ll be disappointed, mate,” answered Philpot. “I was workin’ along of Owen for Pushem and Sloggem about two year ago, and I seen ’im do a job down at the Royal ’Otel—the smokin’-room ceilin’ it was—and I can tell you it looked a bloody treat!”
“Well, he’ll be disappointed, mate,” replied Philpot. “I was working with Owen for Pushem and Sloggem about two years ago, and I saw him do a job down at the Royal Hotel—the smoking room ceiling, to be exact—and I can tell you it looked amazing!”
“I’ve heard tell of it,” said Harlow.
"I've heard about it," said Harlow.
“There’s no doubt Owen knows ’is work,” remarked Easton, “although ’e is a bit orf is onion about Socialism.”
“There's no doubt Owen knows his stuff,” said Easton, “even though he is a bit off his rocker about Socialism.”
“I don’t know so much about that, mate,” returned Philpot. “I agree with a lot that ’e ses. I’ve often thought the same things meself, but I can’t talk like ’im, ’cause I ain’t got no ’ead for it.”
“I don’t know about that, buddy,” Philpot replied. “I agree with a lot of what he says. I’ve often thought the same things myself, but I can’t talk like he does because I don’t have a knack for it.”
“I agree with some of it too,” said Harlow with a laugh, “but all the same ’e does say some bloody silly things, you must admit. For instance, that stuff about money bein’ the cause of poverty.”
“I agree with some of it too,” said Harlow with a laugh, “but still, you have to admit he says some really silly things. For example, that idea that money is the cause of poverty.”
“Yes. I can’t exactly see that meself,” agreed Philpot.
“Yeah. I can’t really see that myself,” agreed Philpot.
“We must tackle ’im about that at dinner-time,” said Harlow. “I should rather like to ’ear ’ow ’e makes it out.”
“We need to confront him about that at dinner,” said Harlow. “I’d really like to hear how he justifies it.”
“For Gord’s sake don’t go startin’ no arguments at dinner-time,” said Easton. “Leave ’im alone when ’e is quiet.”
“For Gord’s sake, don’t start any arguments at dinner,” Easton said. “Just leave him alone when he’s quiet.”
“Yes; let’s ’ave our dinner in peace, if possible,” said Philpot. “Sh!!” he added, hoarsely, suddenly holding up his hand warningly. They listened intently. It was evident from the creaking of the stairs that someone was crawling up them. Philpot instantly disappeared. Harlow lifted up the pail of whitewash and set it down again noisily.
“Yeah; let’s have our dinner in peace, if we can,” said Philpot. “Sh!!” he added, hoarsely, suddenly raising his hand in a warning gesture. They listened closely. It was obvious from the creaking of the stairs that someone was making their way up. Philpot immediately vanished. Harlow picked up the pail of whitewash and then set it down again loudly.
“I think we’d better ’ave the steps and the plank over this side, Easton,” he said in a loud voice.
“I think we should have the steps and the plank over here, Easton,” he said loudly.
“Yes. I think that’ll be the best way,” replied Easton.
“Yes. I think that’s the best way to go,” replied Easton.
While they were arranging their scaffold to do the ceiling Crass arrived on the landing. He made no remark at first, but walked into the room to see how many ceilings they had done.
While they were setting up their scaffold to work on the ceiling, Crass showed up on the landing. He didn’t say anything at first but walked into the room to check how many ceilings they had completed.
“You’d better look alive, you chaps,” he said as he went downstairs again. “If we don’t get these ceilings finished by dinner-time, Nimrod’s sure to ramp.”
“You’d better stay alert, guys,” he said as he went downstairs again. “If we don’t get these ceilings done by dinner time, Nimrod’s definitely going to freak out.”
“All right,” said Harlow, gruffly. “We’ll bloody soon slosh ’em over.”
“All right,” Harlow said gruffly. “We’ll really soon spill them over.”
“Slosh” was a very suitable word; very descriptive of the manner in which the work was done. The cornices of the staircase ceilings were enriched with plaster ornaments. These ceilings were supposed to have been washed off, but as the men who were put to do that work had not been allowed sufficient time to do it properly, the crevices of the ornaments were still filled up with old whitewash, and by the time Harlow and Easton had “sloshed” a lot more whitewash on to them they were mere formless unsightly lumps of plaster. The “hands” who did the “washing off” were not to blame. They had been hunted away from the work before it was half done.
“Slosh” was a perfect word; it really described how the work was done. The cornices of the staircase ceilings were decorated with plaster ornaments. These ceilings were supposed to have been cleaned, but since the workers assigned to that task hadn’t been given enough time to do it right, the crevices of the ornaments were still packed with old whitewash. By the time Harlow and Easton had “sloshed” a lot more whitewash onto them, they were just formless, unattractive lumps of plaster. The workers who did the “washing off” weren’t at fault. They had been sent away from the job before it was halfway finished.
While Harlow and Easton were distempering these ceilings, Philpot and the other hands were proceeding with the painting in different parts of the inside of the house, and Owen, assisted by Bert, was getting on with the work in the drawing-room, striking chalk lines and measuring and setting out the different panels.
While Harlow and Easton were prepping these ceilings, Philpot and the other workers were painting various areas inside the house, and Owen, with Bert's help, was making progress in the drawing room, drawing chalk lines, measuring, and outlining the different panels.
There were no “political” arguments that day at dinner-time, to the disappointment of Crass, who was still waiting for an opportunity to produce the Obscurer cutting. After dinner, when the others had all gone back to their work, Philpot unobtrusively returned to the kitchen and gathered up the discarded paper wrappers in which some of the men had brought their food. Spreading one of these open, he shook the crumbs from the others upon it. In this way and by picking up particles of bread from the floor, he collected a little pile of crumbs and crusts. To these he added some fragments that he had left from his own dinner. He then took the parcel upstairs and opening one of the windows threw the crumbs on to the roof of the portico. He had scarcely closed the window when two starlings fluttered down and began to eat. Philpot watching them furtively from behind the shutter. The afternoon passed uneventfully. From one till five seemed a very long time to most of the hands, but to Owen and his mate, who were doing something in which they were able to feel some interest and pleasure, the time passed so rapidly that they both regretted the approach of evening.
There were no “political” debates that day at dinner, which disappointed Crass, who was still waiting for a chance to pull out the Obscurer cutting. After dinner, when everyone else had returned to their work, Philpot quietly went back to the kitchen and picked up the used paper wrappers some of the men had used for their food. He spread one of these open and shook the crumbs from the others onto it. By doing this and picking up bits of bread from the floor, he managed to collect a small pile of crumbs and crusts. He added some leftover pieces from his own meal to this. Then he took the bundle upstairs and, opening one of the windows, tossed the crumbs onto the roof of the portico. He had barely closed the window when two starlings swooped down and started to eat. Philpot watched them discreetly from behind the shutter. The afternoon went by without incident. From one to five felt very long to most of the workers, but to Owen and his partner, who were engaged in something that interested them, time flew by so quickly that they both wished the evening wouldn’t come.
“Other days,” remarked Bert, “I always keeps on wishin’ it was time to go ’ome, but today seems to ’ave gorn like lightnin’!”
“Other days,” Bert said, “I always keep wishing it was time to go home, but today feels like it’s zipped by like lightning!”
After leaving off that night, all the men kept together till they arrived down town, and then separated. Owen went by himself: Easton, Philpot, Crass and Bundy adjourned to the “Cricketers Arms” to have a drink together before going home, and Slyme, who was a teetotaler, went by himself, although he was now lodging with Easton.
After wrapping up that night, the guys stuck together until they got downtown, and then they split up. Owen went off on his own; Easton, Philpot, Crass, and Bundy headed to the "Cricketers Arms" for a drink together before heading home, while Slyme, who didn’t drink, went off by himself, even though he was currently staying with Easton.
“Don’t wait for me,” said the latter as he went off with Crass and the others. “I shall most likely catch you up before you get there.”
“Don’t wait for me,” said the latter as he left with Crass and the others. “I’ll probably catch up to you before you get there.”
“All right,” replied Slyme.
"Okay," replied Slyme.
This evening Slyme did not take the direct road home. He turned into the main street, and, pausing before the window of a toy shop, examined the articles displayed therein attentively. After some minutes he appeared to have come to a decision, and entering the shop he purchased a baby’s rattle for fourpence halfpenny. It was a pretty toy made of white bone and coloured wool, with a number of little bells hanging upon it, and a ring of white bone at the end of the handle.
This evening, Slyme didn’t take the straight path home. He turned onto the main street and stopped in front of a toy store, carefully looking at the items on display. After a few minutes, he seemed to make up his mind and went into the shop, buying a baby’s rattle for fourpence halfpenny. It was a nice toy made of white bone and colorful wool, with several little bells hanging from it and a ring of white bone at the end of the handle.
When he came out of the shop Slyme set out for home, this time walking rapidly. When he entered the house Ruth was sitting by the fire with the baby on her lap. She looked up with an expression of disappointment as she perceived that he was alone.
When he left the shop, Slyme headed home, this time walking quickly. When he walked into the house, Ruth was sitting by the fire with the baby on her lap. She looked up with a disappointed expression when she noticed he was alone.
“Where’s Will got to again?” she asked.
“Where did Will go again?” she asked.
“He’s gone to ’ave a drink with some of the chaps. He said he wouldn’t be long,” replied Slyme as he put his food basket on the dresser and went upstairs to his room to wash and to change his clothes.
“He's gone to have a drink with some of the guys. He said he wouldn't be long,” replied Slyme as he set his food basket on the dresser and went upstairs to his room to wash up and change his clothes.
When he came down again, Easton had not yet arrived.
When he came down again, Easton still hadn't arrived.
“Everything’s ready, except just to make the tea,” said Ruth, who was evidently annoyed at the continued absence of Easton, “so you may as well have yours now.”
“Everything’s ready, except for making the tea,” said Ruth, clearly annoyed by Easton's ongoing absence, “so you might as well have yours now.”
“I’m in no hurry. I’ll wait a little and see if he comes. He’s sure to be here soon.”
“I’m not in a rush. I’ll hang out for a bit and see if he shows up. He should be here soon.”
“If you’re sure you don’t mind, I shall be glad if you will wait,” said Ruth, “because it will save me making two lots of tea.”
“If you’re really okay with it, I’d be happy if you could wait,” said Ruth, “because it’ll save me from making two pots of tea.”
They waited for about half an hour, talking at intervals in a constrained, awkward way about trivial subjects. Then as Easton did not come, Ruth decided to serve Slyme without waiting any longer. With this intention she laid the baby in its cot, but the child resented this arrangement and began to cry, so she had to hold him under her left arm while she made the tea. Seeing her in this predicament, Slyme exclaimed, holding out his hands:
They waited for about thirty minutes, chatting every now and then in a stiff, awkward way about insignificant things. When Easton didn't show up, Ruth decided to serve Slyme without waiting any longer. With that in mind, she laid the baby in its crib, but the child didn't like this and started to cry, so she had to hold him under her left arm while she made the tea. Seeing her in this situation, Slyme exclaimed, holding out his hands:
“Here, let me hold him while you do that.”
“Here, let me hold him while you take care of that.”
“Will you?” said Ruth, who, in spite of her instinctive dislike of the man, could not help feeling gratified with this attention. “Well, mind you don’t let him fall.”
“Will you?” Ruth said, who, despite her natural dislike for the man, couldn’t help but feel pleased by the attention. “Just make sure you don’t let him fall.”
But the instant Slyme took hold of the child it began to cry even louder than it did when it was put into the cradle.
But the moment Slyme grabbed the child, it started to cry even louder than when it was put into the crib.
“He’s always like that with strangers,” apologized Ruth as she took him back again.
“He’s always like that with new people,” Ruth said apologetically as she led him back again.
“Wait a minute,” said Slyme, “I’ve got something upstairs in my pocket that will keep him quiet. I’d forgotten all about it.”
“Hold on a sec,” said Slyme, “I’ve got something up in my pocket that will make him quiet. I totally forgot about it.”
He went up to his room and presently returned with the rattle. When the baby saw the bright colours and heard the tinkling of the bells he crowed with delight, and reached out his hands eagerly towards it and allowed Slyme to take him without a murmur of protest. Before Ruth had finished making and serving the tea the man and child were on the very best of terms with each other, so much so indeed that when Ruth had finished and went to take him again, the baby seemed reluctant to part from Slyme, who had been dancing him in the air and tickling him in the most delightful way.
He went up to his room and soon came back with the rattle. When the baby saw the bright colors and heard the tinkling of the bells, he squealed with joy and reached out eagerly for it, letting Slyme pick him up without any fuss. By the time Ruth had finished making and serving the tea, the man and child were getting along really well. In fact, when Ruth finished and went to take him back, the baby seemed hesitant to leave Slyme, who had been lifting him in the air and tickling him in the most fun way.
Ruth, too, began to have a better opinion of Slyme, and felt inclined to reproach herself for having taken such an unreasonable dislike of him at first. He was evidently a very good sort of fellow after all.
Ruth also started to think more positively of Slyme and felt like she should be disappointed in herself for having such an unreasonable dislike of him at first. He turned out to be a pretty decent guy after all.
The baby had by this time discovered the use of the bone ring at the end of the handle of the toy and was biting it energetically.
The baby had by this time figured out how to use the bone ring at the end of the toy's handle and was biting it enthusiastically.
“It’s a very beautiful rattle,” said Ruth. “Thank you very much for it. It’s just the very thing he wanted.”
“It’s such a beautiful rattle,” Ruth said. “Thank you so much for it. It’s exactly what he wanted.”
“I heard you say the other day that he wanted something of the kind to bite on to help his teeth through,” answered Slyme, “and when I happened to notice that in the shop I remembered what you said and thought I’d bring it home.”
“I heard you mention the other day that he wanted something to chew on to help with his teeth,” Slyme replied, “and when I noticed it in the shop, I remembered what you said and decided to bring it home.”
The baby took the ring out of its mouth and shaking the rattle frantically in the air laughed and crowed merrily, looking at Slyme.
The baby took the ring out of its mouth and, shaking the rattle wildly in the air, laughed and gurgled happily while looking at Slyme.
“Dad! Dad! Dad!” he cried, holding out his arms.
“Dad! Dad! Dad!” he shouted, stretching out his arms.
Slyme and Ruth burst out laughing.
Slyme and Ruth started laughing uncontrollably.
“That’s not your Dad, you silly boy,” she said, kissing the child as she spoke. “Your dad ought to be ashamed of himself for staying out like this. We’ll give him dad, dad, dad, when he does come home, won’t we?”
“That's not your dad, you silly boy,” she said, kissing the child as she spoke. “Your dad should be ashamed of himself for staying out like this. We'll give him a hard time when he does come home, won’t we?”
But the baby only shook the rattle and rang the bells and laughed and crowed and laughed again, louder than ever.
But the baby just shook the rattle, rang the bells, laughed, and squealed with joy, laughing even louder than before.
Chapter 19
The Filling of the Tank
Viewed from outside, the “Cricketers Arms” was a pretentious-looking building with plate-glass windows and a profusion of gilding. The pilasters were painted in imitation of different marbles and the doors grained to represent costly woods. There were panels containing painted advertisements of wines and spirits and beer, written in gold, and ornamented with gaudy colours. On the lintel over the principal entrance was inscribed in small white letters:
Viewed from the outside, the “Cricketers Arms” was an ostentatious building with large glass windows and plenty of gold detailing. The columns were painted to look like various types of marble, and the doors were finished to resemble expensive woods. There were panels featuring painted ads for wine, spirits, and beer, written in gold and decorated with bright colors. Above the main entrance, there was an inscription in small white letters:
“A. Harpy. Licensed to sell wines, spirits and malt liquor by retail to be consumed either on or off the premises.”
“A. Harpy. Licensed to sell wine, spirits, and beer at retail for consumption either on-site or to-go.”
The bar was arranged in the usual way, being divided into several compartments. First there was the “Saloon Bar”: on the glass of the door leading into this was fixed a printed bill: “No four ale served in this bar.” Next to the saloon bar was the jug and bottle department, much appreciated by ladies who wished to indulge in a drop of gin on the quiet. There were also two small “private” bars, only capable of holding two or three persons, where nothing less than fourpennyworth of spirits or glasses of ale at threepence were served. Finally, the public bar, the largest compartment of all. At each end, separating it from the other departments, was a wooden partition, painted and varnished.
The bar was set up in the usual way, divided into several sections. First was the “Saloon Bar”: a printed sign on the glass door said, “No four ale served in this bar.” Next to the saloon bar was the jug and bottle area, popular with women who wanted to enjoy a bit of gin discreetly. There were also two small “private” bars, each only fitting two or three people, where you could only get a minimum of fourpennyworth of spirits or glasses of ale for threepence. Finally, there was the public bar, the largest section of all. At each end, wooden partitions painted and varnished separated it from the other areas.
Wooden forms fixed across the partitions and against the walls under the windows provided seating accommodation for the customers. A large automatic musical instrument—a “penny in the slot” polyphone—resembling a grandfather’s clock in shape—stood against one of the partitions and close up to the counter, so that those behind the bar could reach to wind it up. Hanging on the partition near the polyphone was a board about fifteen inches square, over the surface of which were distributed a number of small hooks, numbered. At the bottom of the board was a net made of fine twine, extended by means of a semi-circular piece of wire. In this net several india-rubber rings about three inches in diameter were lying. There was no table in the place but jutting out from the other partition was a hinged flap about three feet long by twenty inches wide, which could be folded down when not in use. This was the shove-ha’penny board. The coins—old French pennies—used in playing this game were kept behind the bar and might be borrowed on application. On the partition, just above the shove-ha’penny board was a neatly printed notice, framed and glazed:
Wooden benches fixed across the partitions and against the walls under the windows provided seating for customers. A large automatic musical instrument—a “penny in the slot” polyphone—shaped like a grandfather clock—stood against one of the partitions and close to the counter, so that those behind the bar could easily wind it up. Hanging on the partition near the polyphone was a board about fifteen inches square, featuring a number of small, numbered hooks distributed across its surface. At the bottom of the board was a net made of fine twine, stretched out by a semi-circular piece of wire. Inside this net lay several rubber rings about three inches in diameter. There was no table in the place, but jutting out from the other partition was a hinged flap about three feet long and twenty inches wide, which could be folded down when not in use. This was the shove-ha’penny board. The coins—old French pennies—used for playing this game were kept behind the bar and could be borrowed upon request. On the partition, just above the shove-ha’penny board was a neatly printed notice, framed and glazed:
NOTICE
Gentlemen using this house are requested to
refrain from using obscene language.
NOTICE
Gentlemen using this house are requested to
avoid using offensive language.
Alongside this notice were a number of gaudily-coloured bills advertising the local theatre and the music-hall, and another of a travelling circus and menagerie, then visiting the town and encamped on a piece of waste ground about half-way on the road to Windley. The fittings behind the bar, and the counter, were of polished mahogany, with silvered plate glass at the back of the shelves. On the shelves were rows of bottles and cut-glass decanters, gin, whisky, brandy and wines and liqueurs of different kinds.
Alongside this notice were several brightly-colored flyers advertising the local theater and the music hall, as well as one for a traveling circus and menagerie that was visiting the town and set up on a piece of unused land about halfway to Windley. The furnishings behind the bar and the counter were made of polished mahogany, with silver plate glass at the back of the shelves. On the shelves were rows of bottles and cut-glass decanters containing gin, whiskey, brandy, and various wines and liqueurs.
When Crass, Philpot, Easton and Bundy entered, the landlord, a well-fed, prosperous-looking individual in white shirt-sleeves, and a bright maroon fancy waistcoat with a massive gold watch-chain and a diamond ring, was conversing in an affable, friendly way with one of his regular customers, who was sitting on the end of the seat close to the counter, a shabbily dressed, bleary-eyed, degraded, beer-sodden, trembling wretch, who spent the greater part of every day, and all his money, in this bar. He was a miserable-looking wreck of a man about thirty years of age, supposed to be a carpenter, although he never worked at that trade now. It was commonly said that some years previously he had married a woman considerably his senior, the landlady of a third-rate lodging-house. This business was evidently sufficiently prosperous to enable him to exist without working and to maintain himself in a condition of perpetual semi-intoxication. This besotted wretch practically lived at the “Cricketers”. He came regularly every morning and sometimes earned a pint of beer by assisting the barman to sweep up the sawdust or clean the windows. He usually remained in the bar until closing time every night. He was a very good customer; not only did he spend whatever money he could get hold of himself, but he was the cause of others spending money, for he was acquainted with most of the other regular customers, who, knowing his impecunious condition, often stood him a drink “for the good of the house”.
When Crass, Philpot, Easton, and Bundy walked in, the landlord, a well-fed, successful-looking guy in white shirt sleeves and a bright maroon waistcoat with a big gold watch chain and a diamond ring, was chatting amiably with one of his regulars. This regular, sitting at the end of the seat near the counter, was a scruffy, bleary-eyed, down-and-out guy who spent most of his days and all his money in this bar. He looked like a total wreck, about thirty years old, and was thought to be a carpenter, although he hadn't worked in that trade for a long time. It was often said that years ago he married a woman much older than him, who was the landlady of a run-down boarding house. This business seemed to be doing well enough to let him live without working and keep himself in a constant state of near-intoxication. This drunken loser practically lived at the “Cricketers.” He showed up every morning and sometimes earned a pint by helping the barman clean up the sawdust or wash the windows. He usually stayed in the bar until closing time each night. He was a very good customer; not only did he spend any money he could get his hands on, but he also encouraged others to spend money too, since he knew most of the other regulars who, aware of his financial struggles, often bought him a drink “for the good of the house.”
The only other occupant of the public bar—previous to the entrance of Crass and his mates—was a semi-drunken man, who appeared to be a house-painter, sitting on the form near the shove-ha’penny board. He was wearing a battered bowler hat and the usual shabby clothes. This individual had a very thin, pale face, with a large, high-bridged nose, and bore a striking resemblance to the portraits of the first Duke of Wellington. He was not a regular customer here, having dropped in casually about two o’clock and had remained ever since. He was beginning to show the effects of the drink he had taken during that time.
The only other person in the public bar—before Crass and his friends came in—was a slightly drunk man who looked like a house painter, sitting on the bench near the shove-ha’penny board. He was wearing a worn-out bowler hat and the usual ragged clothes. This guy had a very thin, pale face with a large, high nose and looked a lot like the portraits of the first Duke of Wellington. He wasn't a regular here, having dropped in casually around two o'clock and stayed ever since. He was starting to show signs of the drinking he had done during that time.
As Crass and the others came in they were hailed with enthusiasm by the landlord and the Besotted Wretch, while the semi-drunk workman regarded them with fishy eyes and stupid curiosity.
As Crass and the others walked in, they were greeted with excitement by the landlord and the Besotted Wretch, while the half-drunk worker looked at them with glazed eyes and dull curiosity.
“Wot cheer, Bob?” said the landlord, affably, addressing Crass, and nodding familiarly to the others. “’Ow goes it?”
“Hey there, Bob,” said the landlord, friendly, talking to Crass and giving a casual nod to the others. “How’s it going?”
“All reet me ole dear!” replied Crass, jovially. “’Ow’s yerself?”
“All right, my dear!” replied Crass cheerfully. “How are you doing?”
“A.1,” replied the “Old Dear”, getting up from his chair in readiness to execute their orders.
“A.1,” replied the “Old Dear,” getting up from his chair, ready to carry out their instructions.
“Well, wot’s it to be?” inquired Philpot of the others generally.
“Well, what’s it going to be?” Philpot asked the others generally.
“Mine’s a pint o’ beer,” said Crass.
“Mine’s a pint of beer,” said Crass.
“Half for me,” said Bundy.
“Half for me,” said Bundy.
“Half o’ beer for me too,” replied Easton.
“Half a beer for me too,” replied Easton.
“That’s one pint, two ’arves, and a pint o’ porter for meself,” said Philpot, turning and addressing the Old Dear.
"That's one pint, two halves, and a pint of porter for me," said Philpot, turning to speak to the Old Dear.
While the landlord was serving these drinks the Besotted Wretch finished his beer and set the empty glass down on the counter, and Philpot observing this, said to him:
While the landlord was serving these drinks, the drunk finished his beer and set the empty glass down on the counter. Philpot, noticing this, said to him:
“’Ave one along o’ me?”
“Have one along with me?”
“I don’t mind if I do,” replied the other.
“I don’t mind if I do,” replied the other.
When the drinks were served, Philpot, instead of paying for them, winked significantly at the landlord, who nodded silently and unobtrusively made an entry in an account book that was lying on one of the shelves. Although it was only Monday and he had been at work all the previous week, Philpot was already stony broke. This was accounted for by the fact that on Saturday he had paid his landlady something on account of the arrears of board and lodging money that had accumulated while he was out of work; and he had also paid the Old Dear four shillings for drinks obtained on tick during the last week.
When the drinks were served, Philpot, instead of paying for them, gave a knowing wink to the landlord, who nodded silently and discreetly jotted it down in an account book on one of the shelves. Even though it was just Monday and he had worked all of the previous week, Philpot was already broke. This was because he had paid his landlady some money towards the back rent for board and lodging that had piled up while he was unemployed; and he had also given the Old Dear four shillings for drinks he had gotten on credit last week.
“Well, ’ere’s the skin orf yer nose,” said Crass, nodding to Philpot, and taking a long pull at the pint glass which the latter had handed to him.
“Well, here’s the skin off your nose,” said Crass, nodding to Philpot, and taking a long drink from the pint glass that Philpot had given him.
Similar appropriate and friendly sentiments were expressed by the others and suitably acknowledged by Philpot, the founder of the feast.
Similar warm and friendly feelings were shared by the others and were appropriately recognized by Philpot, the host of the gathering.
The Old Dear now put a penny in the slot of the polyphone, and winding it up started it playing. It was some unfamiliar tune, but when the Semi-drunk Painter heard it he rose unsteadily to his feet and began shuffling and dancing about, singing:
The old lady now dropped a penny into the slot of the jukebox, and after winding it up, she got it playing. It was a tune she didn't recognize, but when the slightly tipsy painter heard it, he got unsteadily to his feet and started shuffling and dancing around, singing:
“Oh, we’ll inwite you to the wedding,
An’ we’ll ’ave a glorious time!
Where the boys an’ girls is a-dancing,
An’ we’ll all get drunk on wine.”
“Oh, we’ll invite you to the wedding,
And we’ll have a great time!
Where the boys and girls are dancing,
And we’ll all get drunk on wine.”
“’Ere! that’s quite enough o’ that!” cried the landlord, roughly. “We don’t want that row ’ere.”
“Hey! That’s more than enough of that!” yelled the landlord, harshly. “We don’t want that commotion here.”
The Semi-drunk stopped, and looking stupidly at the Old Dear, sank abashed on to the seat again.
The semi-drunk stopped and, staring blankly at the old lady, sat down in embarrassment once more.
“Well, we may as well sit as stand—for a few minutes,” remarked Crass, suiting the action to the word. The others followed his example.
“Well, we might as well sit instead of standing—for a few minutes,” Crass said, doing just that. The others followed his lead.
At frequent intervals the bar was entered by fresh customers, most of them working men on their way home, who ordered and drank their pint or half-pint of ale or porter and left at once. Bundy began reading the advertisement of the circus and menageries and a conversation ensued concerning the wonderful performances of the trained animals. The Old Dear said that some of them had as much sense as human beings, and the manner with which he made this statement implied that he thought it was a testimonial to the sagacity of the brutes. He further said that he had heard—a little earlier in the evening—a rumour that one of the wild animals, a bear or something, had broken loose and was at present at large. This was what he had heard—he didn’t know if it were true or not. For his own part he didn’t believe it, and his hearers agreed that it was highly improbable. Nobody ever knew how these silly yarns got about.
At regular intervals, new customers entered the bar, mostly working men on their way home, who ordered and downed their pint or half-pint of ale or porter before leaving right away. Bundy started reading an advertisement for the circus and menageries, leading to a conversation about the amazing performances of the trained animals. The Old Dear remarked that some of them were as smart as humans, and the way he said it suggested he believed it was proof of the animals' intelligence. He also mentioned that he had heard—a little earlier that evening—a rumor that one of the wild animals, a bear or something, had escaped and was currently on the loose. This was what he had heard—he didn’t know if it was true or not. As for himself, he didn’t believe it, and his listeners agreed that it seemed very unlikely. Nobody ever knew how these silly stories spread around.
Presently the Besotted Wretch got up and, taking the india-rubber rings out of the net with a trembling hand, began throwing them one at a time at the hooks on the board. The rest of the company watched him with much interest, laughing when he made a very bad shot and applauding when he scored.
Presently, the lovelorn fool got up and, with a shaking hand, took the rubber rings out of the net and started tossing them one by one at the hooks on the board. The others watched him with great interest, laughing when he missed badly and cheering when he hit a target.
“’E’s a bit orf tonight,” remarked Philpot aside to Easton, “but as a rule ’e’s a fair knockout at it. Throws a splendid ring.”
“He's a bit off tonight,” Philpot said to Easton, “but usually he's pretty great at it. He puts on a fantastic show.”
The Semi-drunk regarded the proceedings of the Besotted Wretch with an expression of profound contempt.
The Semi-drunk watched the actions of the Besotted Wretch with a look of deep disdain.
“You can’t play for nuts,” he said scornfully.
“You can’t play for nothing,” he said scornfully.
“Can’t I? I can play you, anyway.”
“Can’t I? I can still play you, though.”
“Right you are! I’ll play you for drinks round!” cried the Semi-drunk.
"You're right! I'll challenge you to a drink!" shouted the Semi-drunk.
For a moment the Besotted Wretch hesitated. He had not money enough to pay for drinks round. However, feeling confident of winning, he replied:
For a moment, the love-struck fool hesitated. He didn't have enough money to buy a round of drinks. However, feeling sure he was going to win, he said:
“Come on then. What’s it to be? Fifty up?”
“Come on then. What’s it going to be? Fifty up?”
“Anything you like! Fifty or a ’undred or a bloody million!”
“Anything you want! Fifty or a hundred or a freaking million!”
“Better make it fifty for a start.”
"Let’s begin with fifty."
“All right!”
“Okay!”
“You play first if you like.”
"You can go first if you want."
“All right,” agreed the Semi-drunk, anxious to distinguish himself. Holding the six rings in his left hand, the man stood in the middle of the floor at a distance of about three yards from the board, with his right foot advanced. Taking one of the rings between the forefinger and thumb of his right hand, and closing his left eye, he carefully “sighted” the centre hook, No. 13; then he slowly extended his arm to its full length in the direction of the board: then bending his elbow, he brought his hand back again until it nearly touched his chin, and slowly extended his arm again. He repeated these movements several times, whilst the others watched with bated breath. Getting it right at last he suddenly shot the ring at the board, but it did not go on No. 13; it went over the partition into the private bar.
“Okay,” the Semi-drunk agreed, eager to stand out. With the six rings in his left hand, the man stood in the center of the floor about three yards from the board, his right foot forward. He picked up one of the rings with his right hand, pinching it between his forefinger and thumb, and closed his left eye to carefully line up the center hook, No. 13. Then, he gradually stretched his arm out fully toward the board. After bending his elbow, he brought his hand back close to his chin before extending his arm again. He repeated these motions several times while the others watched with held breath. Finally getting it right, he abruptly threw the ring at the board, but instead of hitting No. 13, it flew over the partition into the private bar.
This feat was greeted with a roar of laughter. The player stared at the board in a dazed way, wondering what had become of the ring. When someone in the next bar threw it over the partition again, he realized what had happened and, turning to the company with a sickly smile, remarked:
This achievement was met with a burst of laughter. The player looked at the board in confusion, trying to figure out where the ring had gone. When someone in the next bar tossed it over the divider again, he understood what had occurred and, turning to the group with a weak smile, said:
“I ain’t got properly used to this board yet: that’s the reason of it.”
“I haven't really gotten used to this board yet: that's why.”
He now began throwing the other rings at the board rather wildly, without troubling to take aim. One struck the partition to the right of the board: one to the left: one underneath: one went over the counter, one on the floor, the other—the last—hit the board, and amid a shout of applause, caught on the centre hook No. 13, the highest number it was possible to score with a single throw.
He started tossing the other rings at the board pretty wildly, without bothering to aim. One hit the wall to the right of the board, one to the left, one underneath, one flew over the counter, one landed on the floor, and the last one — it hit the board and, amid a shout of applause, caught on the center hook No. 13, the highest score possible with a single throw.
“I shall be all right now that I’ve got the range,” observed the Semi-drunk as he made way for his opponent.
“I'll be fine now that I've got the advantage,” the Semi-drunk said as he stepped aside for his opponent.
“You’ll see something now,” whispered Philpot to Easton. “This bloke is a dandy!”
“You’ll see something now,” whispered Philpot to Easton. “This guy is a dandy!”
The Besotted Wretch took up his position and with an affectation of carelessness began throwing the rings. It was really a remarkable exhibition, for notwithstanding the fact that his hand trembled like the proverbial aspen leaf, he succeeded in striking the board almost in the centre every time; but somehow or other most of them failed to catch on the hooks and fell into the net. When he finished his innings, he had only scored 4, two of the rings having caught on the No. 2 hook.
The infatuated fool took his place and, pretending to be casual, started tossing the rings. It was quite a show, because even though his hand shook like a leaf in the wind, he managed to hit the board almost in the center every time; but somehow most of them didn’t land on the hooks and ended up in the net. When he wrapped up his turn, he had only scored 4, with two of the rings snagging on the No. 2 hook.
“’Ard lines,” remarked Bundy as he finished his beer and put the glass down on the counter.
“Hard lines,” Bundy said as he finished his beer and set the glass down on the counter.
“Drink up and ’ave another,” said Easton as he drained his own glass.
“Drink up and have another,” said Easton as he finished his own glass.
“I don’t mind if I do,” replied Crass, pouring what remained of the pint down his throat.
“I don’t mind if I do,” Crass replied, downing the rest of the pint.
Philpot’s glass had been empty for some time.
Philpot's glass had been empty for a while.
“Same again,” said Easton, addressing the Old Dear and putting six pennies on the counter.
“Same again,” Easton said to the Old Dear, placing six pennies on the counter.
By this time the Semi-drunk had again opened fire on the board, but he seemed to have lost the range, for none of the rings scored.
By this time, the Semi-drunk had started shooting at the board again, but he seemed to have lost his aim, as none of the rings hit the target.
They flew all over the place, and he finished his innings without increasing his total.
They flew everywhere, and he completed his innings without increasing his score.
The Besotted Wretch now sailed in and speedily piled up 37. Then the Semi-drunk had another go, and succeeded in getting 8. His case appeared hopeless, but his opponent in his next innings seemed to go all to pieces. Twice he missed the board altogether, and when he did hit it he failed to score, until the very last throw, when he made 1. Then the Semi-drunk went in again and got 10.
The Besotted Wretch sailed in and quickly racked up 37. Then the Semi-drunk took another shot and managed to score 8. His situation seemed dire, but his opponent fell apart in the next round. He completely missed the board twice, and when he finally hit it, he couldn’t score, until the very last throw, when he got 1. Then the Semi-drunk went again and scored 10.
The scores were now:
The scores are now:
Besotted Wretch ........................ 42
Semi-drunk ................................ 31
Besotted Wretch ........................ 42
Semi-drunk ................................ 31
So far it was impossible to foresee the end. It was anybody’s game. Crass became so excited that he absentmindedly opened his mouth and shot his second pint down into his stomach with a single gulp, and Bundy also drained his glass and called upon Philpot and Easton to drink up and have another, which they accordingly did.
So far, it was impossible to predict the outcome. It was anyone's game. Crass got so excited that he mindlessly opened his mouth and downed his second pint in one go, and Bundy also finished his drink and encouraged Philpot and Easton to finish up and have another, which they did.
While the Semi-drunk was having his next innings, the Besotted Wretch placed a penny on the counter and called for a half a pint, which he drank in the hope of steadying his nerves for a great effort. His opponent meanwhile threw the rings at the board and missed it every time, but all the same he scored, for one ring, after striking the partition about a foot above the board, fell down and caught on the hook.
While the Semi-drunk was having his next turn, the Besotted Wretch put a penny on the counter and ordered a half pint, which he drank in hopes of calming his nerves for a big effort. His opponent, in the meantime, threw the rings at the board and missed every time, but still managed to score because one ring, after hitting the partition about a foot above the board, fell down and caught on the hook.
The other man now began his innings, playing very carefully, and nearly every ring scored. As he played, the others uttered exclamations of admiration and called out the result of every throw.
The other guy now started his turn, playing very cautiously, and almost every hit counted. As he played, the others shouted expressions of admiration and announced the result of every throw.
“One!”
"One!"
“One again!”
"One more time!"
“Miss! No! Got ’im! Two!”
"Miss! No! Got him! Two!"
“Miss!”
"Excuse me!"
“Miss!”
"Excuse me!"
“Four!”
"Four!"
The Semi-drunk accepted his defeat with a good grace, and after explaining that he was a bit out of practice, placed a shilling on the counter and invited the company to give their orders. Everyone asked for “the same again,” but the landlord served Easton, Bundy and the Besotted Wretch with pints instead of half-pints as before, so there was no change out of the shilling.
The semi-drunk accepted his defeat graciously, and after explaining that he was a bit out of practice, put a shilling on the counter and invited everyone to place their orders. Everyone asked for "the same again," but the landlord served Easton, Bundy, and the Besotted Wretch pints instead of half-pints like before, so there was no change from the shilling.
“You know, there’s a great deal in not bein’ used to the board,” said the Semi-drunk.
“You know, there’s a lot to not being used to the board,” said the Semi-drunk.
“There’s no disgrace in bein’ beat by a man like ’im, mate,” said Philpot. “’E’s a champion!”
“There's no shame in being beaten by a guy like him, buddy,” said Philpot. “He's a champion!”
“Yes, there’s no mistake about it. ’E throws a splendid ring!” said Bundy.
“Yes, there’s no doubt about it. He throws an amazing ring!” said Bundy.
This was the general verdict. The Semi-drunk, though beaten, was not disgraced: and he was so affected by the good feeling manifested by the company that he presently produced a sixpence and insisted on paying for another half-pint all round.
This was the general opinion. The slightly drunk guy, although defeated, wasn’t embarrassed: and he was so touched by the kindness shown by the group that he quickly pulled out a sixpence and insisted on buying another half-pint for everyone.
Crass had gone outside during this conversation, but he returned in a few minutes. “I feel a bit easier now,” he remarked with a laugh as he took the half-pint glass that the Semi-drunk passed to him with a shaking hand. One after the other, within a few minutes, the rest followed Crass’s example, going outside and returning almost immediately: and as Bundy, who was the last to return, came back he exclaimed:
Crass had stepped outside during this chat, but he came back a few minutes later. “I feel a lot better now,” he joked as he took the half-pint glass that the Semi-drunk handed him with a trembling hand. One by one, within a few minutes, the others followed Crass’s lead, going outside and coming back almost right away. And when Bundy, the last to return, walked in, he exclaimed:
“Let’s ’ave a game of shove-’a’penny.”
“Let’s have a game of shove-a-penny.”
“All right,” said Easton, who was beginning to feel reckless. “But drink up first, and let’s ’ave another.”
“All right,” said Easton, who was starting to feel bold. “But finish your drink first, and let’s have another.”
He had only sevenpence left, just enough to pay for another pint for Crass and half a pint for everyone else.
He only had seven pence left, just enough to buy another pint for Crass and half a pint for everyone else.
The shove-ha’penny table was a planed mahogany board with a number of parallel lines scored across it. The game is played by placing the coin at the end of the board—the rim slightly overhanging the edge—and striking it with the back part of the palm of the hand, regulating the force of the blow according to the distance it is desired to drive the coin.
The shove-ha’penny table was a smooth mahogany board with several parallel lines etched across it. The game is played by placing a coin at one end of the board, with the rim slightly hanging over the edge, and striking it with the back of your hand, adjusting the force of the hit based on how far you want to send the coin.
“What’s become of Alf tonight?” inquired Philpot of the landlord whilst Easton and Bundy were playing. Alf was the barman.
“What happened to Alf tonight?” Philpot asked the landlord while Easton and Bundy were playing. Alf was the bartender.
“’E’s doing a bit of a job down in the cellar; some of the valves gone a bit wrong. But the missus is comin’ down to lend me a hand presently. ’Ere she is now.”
“He's working on a few things in the cellar; some of the valves are a bit off. But my wife is coming down to help me out soon. Here she is now.”
The landlady—who at this moment entered through the door at the back of the bar—was a large woman with a highly-coloured countenance and a tremendous bust, incased in a black dress with a shot silk blouse. She had several jewelled gold rings on the fingers of each fat white hand, and a long gold watch guard hung round her fat neck. She greeted Crass and Philpot with condescension, smiling affably upon them.
The landlady—who just walked in through the back door of the bar—was a large woman with a colorful face and a big chest, dressed in a black dress with a shiny silk blouse. She wore several jeweled gold rings on each of her chubby white fingers, and a long gold watch chain hung around her thick neck. She greeted Crass and Philpot with a condescending smile, looking friendly toward them.
Meantime the game of shove-ha’penny proceeded merrily, the Semi-drunk taking a great interest in it and tendering advice to both players impartially. Bundy was badly beaten, and then Easton suggested that it was time to think of going home. This proposal—slightly modified—met with general approval, the modification being suggested by Philpot, who insisted on standing one final round of drinks before they went.
Meantime, the game of shove-ha’penny was going strong, with the partially inebriated player showing a lot of interest and giving advice to both players equally. Bundy was getting crushed, and then Easton suggested it was time to think about heading home. This idea—slightly changed—was welcomed by everyone, with the change proposed by Philpot, who insisted on buying one last round of drinks before they left.
While they were pouring this down their throats, Crass took a penny from his waistcoat pocket and put it in the slot of the polyphone. The landlord put a fresh disc into it and wound it up and it began to play “The Boys of the Bulldog Breed.” The Semi-drunk happened to know the words of the chorus of this song, and when he heard the music he started unsteadily to his feet and with many fierce looks and gestures began to roar at the top of his voice:
While they were gulping this down, Crass took a penny from his waistcoat pocket and dropped it in the polyphone. The landlord loaded a new disc into it, wound it up, and it started playing “The Boys of the Bulldog Breed.” The Semi-drunk happened to know the words to the chorus of the song, and when he heard the music, he unsteadily stood up and, with a lot of intense looks and gestures, began to shout at the top of his lungs:
“They may build their ships, my lads,
And try to play the game,
But they can’t build the boys of the Bulldog breed,
Wot made ole Hingland’s—”
“They can build their ships, guys,
And try to play the game,
But they can’t create the boys of the Bulldog breed,
Who made old England’s—”
“’Ere! Stop that, will yer?” cried the Old Dear, fiercely. “I told you once before that I don’t allow that sort of thing in my ’ouse!”
“Hey! Cut that out, will you?” shouted the Old Dear, angrily. “I already told you that I don’t allow that kind of behavior in my house!”
The Semi-drunk stopped in confusion.
The tipsy person stopped in confusion.
“I don’t mean no ’arm,” he said unsteadily, appealing to the company.
“I don’t mean any harm,” he said unsteadily, appealing to the group.
“I don’t want no chin from you!” said the Old Dear with a ferocious scowl. “If you want to make that row you can go somewheres else, and the sooner you goes the better. You’ve been ’ere long enough.”
“I don’t want any trouble from you!” said the Old Dear with a fierce scowl. “If you want to cause that commotion, you can go somewhere else, and the sooner you leave, the better. You’ve been here long enough.”
This was true. The man had been there long enough to spend every penny he had been possessed of when he first came: he had no money left now, a fact that the observant and experienced landlord had divined some time ago. He therefore wished to get rid of the fellow before the drink affected him further and made him helplessly drunk. The Semi-drunk listened with indignation and wrath to the landlord’s insulting words.
This was true. The man had been there long enough to spend every penny he had when he first arrived: he had no money left now, something the observant and experienced landlord had figured out a while ago. He wanted to get rid of the guy before the drink took over and made him completely drunk. The semi-drunk listened with anger and rage to the landlord’s insulting words.
“I shall go when the bloody ’ell I like!” he shouted. “I shan’t ask you nor nobody else! Who the bloody ’ell are you? You’re nobody! See? Nobody! It’s orf the likes of me that you gets your bloody livin’! I shall stop ’ere as long as I bloody well like, and if you don’t like it you can go to ’ell!”
“I'll go whenever I want!” he shouted. “I won’t ask you or anyone else! Who do you think you are? You’re nobody! Got it? Nobody! It’s people like me who pay your bills! I’ll stay here as long as I want, and if you don’t like it, you can deal with it!”
“Oh! Yer will, will yer?” said the Old Dear. “We’ll soon see about that.” And, opening the door at the back of the bar, he roared out:
“Oh! You will, will you?” said the Old Dear. “We’ll find out about that soon enough.” And, opening the door at the back of the bar, he shouted out:
“Alf!”
“Alf!”
“Yes, sir,” replied a voice, evidently from the basement.
“Yeah, sure,” replied a voice, clearly from the basement.
“Just come up ’ere.”
“Just come up here.”
“All right,” replied the voice, and footsteps were heard ascending some stairs.
“All right,” said the voice, and footsteps were heard coming up some stairs.
“You’ll see some fun in a minute,” gleefully remarked Crass to Easton.
“You’ll see some fun in a minute,” Crass said happily to Easton.
The polyphone continued to play “The Boys of the Bulldog Breed.”
The polyphone kept playing “The Boys of the Bulldog Breed.”
Philpot crossed over to the Semi-drunk. “Look ’ere, old man,” he whispered, “take my tip and go ’ome quietly. You’ll only git the worse of it, you know.”
Philpot walked over to the Semi-drunk. “Hey there, old man,” he whispered, “take my advice and go home quietly. You'll only get in more trouble, you know.”
“Not me, mate,” replied the other, shaking his head doggedly. “’Ere I am, and ’ere I’m goin’ to bloody well stop.”
“Not me, man,” replied the other, shaking his head stubbornly. “Here I am, and here I’m going to freaking stop.”
“No, you ain’t,” replied Philpot coaxingly. “Look ’ere. I’ll tell you wot we’ll do. You ’ave just one more ’arf-pint along of me, and then we’ll both go ’ome together. I’ll see you safe ’ome.”
“No, you’re not,” Philpot said softly. “Listen, here’s the plan. You have just one more half-pint with me, and then we’ll both head home together. I’ll make sure you get home safely.”
“See me safe ’ome! Wotcher mean?” indignantly demanded the other. “Do you think I’m drunk or wot?”
“See me home safe! What do you mean?” the other person demanded angrily. “Do you think I’m drunk or what?”
“No. Certainly not,” replied Philpot, hastily. “You’re all right, as right as I am myself. But you know wot I mean. Let’s go ’ome. You don’t want to stop ’ere all night, do you?”
“No. Definitely not,” Philpot replied quickly. “You’re fine, just as fine as I am. But you know what I mean. Let’s go home. You don’t want to stay here all night, do you?”
By this time Alf had arrived at the door of the back of the bar. He was a burly young man about twenty-two or twenty-three years of age.
By this time, Alf had reached the back door of the bar. He was a broad, young guy around twenty-two or twenty-three years old.
“Put it outside,” growled the landlord, indicating the culprit.
“Put it outside,” the landlord snarled, pointing at the culprit.
The barman instantly vaulted over the counter, and, having opened wide the door leading into the street, he turned to the half-drunken man and, jerking his thumb in the direction of the door, said:
The bartender quickly jumped over the counter, and after swinging the door open to the street, he turned to the tipsy man and, pointing towards the door with his thumb, said:
“Are yer goin’?”
"Are you going?"
“I’m goin’ to ’ave ’arf a pint along of this genelman first—”
“I’m going to have half a pint with this gentleman first—”
“Yes. It’s all right,” said Philpot to the landlord. “Let’s ’ave two ’arf-pints, and say no more about it.”
“Yeah. It’s fine,” Philpot told the landlord. “Let’s have two half-pints and not make a big deal out of it.”
“You mind your own business,” shouted the landlord, turning savagely on him. “’E’ll get no more ’ere! I don’t want no drunken men in my ’ouse. Who asked you to interfere?”
“You mind your own business,” shouted the landlord, turning angrily on him. “He won’t get any more here! I don’t want any drunken men in my house. Who asked you to interfere?”
“Now then!” exclaimed the barman to the cause of the trouble, “Outside!”
“Alright then!” shouted the bartender at the source of the trouble, “Get outside!”
“Not me!” said the Semi-drunk firmly. “Not before I’ve ’ad my ’arf—”
“Not me!” said the Semi-drunk firmly. “Not before I’ve had my half—”
But before he could conclude, the barman had clutched him by the collar, dragged him violently to the door and shot him into the middle of the road, where he fell in a heap almost under the wheels of a brewer’s dray that happened to be passing. This accomplished, Alf shut the door and retired behind the counter again.
But before he could finish, the bartender grabbed him by the collar, yanked him roughly to the door, and tossed him out into the middle of the road, where he collapsed almost right under the wheels of a passing delivery cart. After doing this, Alf shut the door and went back behind the counter.
“Serve ’im bloody well right,” said Crass.
"Serves him right," said Crass.
“I couldn’t ’elp laughin’ when I seen ’im go flyin’ through the bloody door,” said Bundy.
“I couldn’t help laughing when I saw him fly through the damn door,” said Bundy.
“You oughter ’ave more sense than to go interferin’ like that,” said Crass to Philpot. “It was nothing to do with you.”
“You should have more sense than to interfere like that,” Crass said to Philpot. “It had nothing to do with you.”
Philpot made no reply. He was standing with his back to the others, peeping out into the street over the top of the window casing. Then he opened the door and went out into the street. Crass and the others—through the window—watched him assist the Semi-drunk to his feet and rub some of the dirt off his clothes, and presently after some argument they saw the two go away together arm in arm.
Philpot didn’t say anything. He stood with his back to the others, looking out into the street over the top of the window frame. Then he opened the door and stepped outside. Crass and the others—through the window—watched him help the Semi-drunk to his feet and brush some dirt off his clothes, and after some back-and-forth, they saw the two leave together arm in arm.
Crass and the others laughed, and returned to their half-finished drinks.
Crass and the others laughed and went back to their half-empty drinks.
“Why, old Joe ain’t drunk ’ardly ’arf of ’is!” cried Easton, seeing Philpot’s porter on the counter. “Fancy going away like that!”
“Why, old Joe barely drank half of his!” cried Easton, looking at Philpot’s porter on the counter. “Can you believe he left like that!”
“More fool ’im,” growled Crass. “There was no need for it: the man’s all right.”
“More fool him,” Crass grumbled. “There was no need for it; the guy’s fine.”
The Besotted Wretch gulped his beer down as quickly as he could, with his eyes fixed greedily on Philpot’s glass. He had just finished his own and was about to suggest that it was a pity to waste the porter when Philpot unexpectedly reappeared.
The Besotted Wretch downed his beer as fast as he could, with his eyes greedily glued to Philpot’s glass. He had just finished his own and was about to say it was a shame to waste the porter when Philpot suddenly showed up again.
“Hullo! What ’ave you done with ’im?” inquired Crass.
“Hullo! What have you done with him?” inquired Crass.
“I think ’e’ll be all right,” replied Philpot. “He wouldn’t let me go no further with ’im: said if I didn’t go away, ’e’d go for me! But I believe ’e’ll be all right. I think the fall sobered ’im a bit.”
"I think he'll be fine," replied Philpot. "He wouldn't let me go any further with him: said if I didn't leave, he'd come after me! But I believe he'll be fine. I think the fall made him think a little."
“Oh, ’e’s all right,” said Crass offhandedly. “There’s nothing the matter with ’im.”
“Oh, he’s fine,” said Crass casually. “There’s nothing wrong with him.”
Philpot now drank his porter, and bidding “good night” to the Old Dear, the landlady and the Besotted Wretch, they all set out for home. As they went along the dark and lonely thoroughfare that led over the hill to Windley, they heard from time to time the weird roaring of the wild animals in the menagerie that was encamped in the adjacent field. Just as they reached a very gloomy and deserted part, they suddenly observed a dark object in the middle of the road some distance in front of them. It seemed to be a large animal of some kind and was coming slowly and stealthily towards them.
Philpot now finished his porter and said “good night” to the Old Dear, the landlady, and the Besotted Wretch. They all headed home. As they walked along the dark and quiet road that led over the hill to Windley, they occasionally heard the strange roaring of the wild animals from the menagerie set up in the nearby field. Just as they reached a very dark and deserted area, they suddenly spotted a dark shape in the middle of the road a little way ahead. It looked like a large animal of some sort and was moving slowly and quietly toward them.
They stopped, peering in a half-frightened way through the darkness. The animal continued to approach. Bundy stooped down to the ground, groping about in search of a stone, and—with the exception of Crass, who was too frightened to move—the others followed his example. They found several large stones and stood waiting for the creature—whatever it was—to come a little nearer so as to get a fair shot at it. They were about to let fly when the creature fell over on its side and moaned as if in pain. Observing this, the four men advanced cautiously towards it. Bundy struck a match and held it over the prostrate figure. It was the Semi-drunk.
They stopped, looking through the darkness, half scared. The animal kept coming closer. Bundy bent down, searching for a stone, and except for Crass, who was too scared to move, the others did the same. They found several big stones and waited for the creature—whatever it was—to come a bit closer so they could take a shot at it. Just as they were about to throw, the creature fell over on its side and groaned like it was in pain. Seeing this, the four men moved carefully towards it. Bundy struck a match and held it over the figure lying on the ground. It was the Semi-drunk.
After parting from Philpot, the poor wretch had managed to walk all right for some distance. As Philpot had remarked, the fall had to some extent sobered him; but he had not gone very far before the drink he had taken began to affect him again and he had fallen down. Finding it impossible to get up, he began crawling along on his hands and knees, unconscious of the fact that he was travelling in the wrong direction. Even this mode of progression failed him at last, and he would probably have been run over if they had not found him. They raised him up, and Philpot, exhorting him to “pull himself together” inquired where he lived. The man had sense enough left to be able to tell them his address, which was fortunately at Windley, where they all resided.
After saying goodbye to Philpot, the poor guy managed to walk okay for a while. As Philpot pointed out, the fall had somewhat sobered him up; but he hadn't gone very far before the alcohol he had consumed started to take its toll again, and he fell down. Realizing he couldn't get up, he began to crawl on his hands and knees, completely unaware that he was going the wrong way. Eventually, even that way of moving failed him, and he would probably have been hit by a car if they hadn't found him. They picked him up, and Philpot, urging him to “get it together,” asked where he lived. The man still had enough sense to give them his address, which luckily was in Windley, where they all lived.
Bundy and Philpot took him home, separating from Crass and Easton at the corner of the street where both the latter lived.
Bundy and Philpot took him home, parting ways with Crass and Easton at the corner of the street where both of them lived.
Crass felt very full and satisfied with himself. He had had six and a half pints of beer, and had listened to two selections on the polyphone at a total cost of one penny.
Crass felt completely full and pleased with himself. He had enjoyed six and a half pints of beer and listened to two tracks on the polyphone for just one penny.
Easton had but a few yards to go before reaching his own house after parting from Crass, but he paused directly he heard the latter’s door close, and leaning against a street lamp yielded to the feeling of giddiness and nausea that he had been fighting against all the way home. All the inanimate objects around him seemed to be in motion. The lights of the distant street lamps appeared to be floating about the pavement and the roadway rose and fell like the surface of a troubled sea. He searched his pockets for his handkerchief and having found it wiped his mouth, inwardly congratulating himself that Crass was not there to see him. Resuming his walk, after a few minutes he reached his own home. As he passed through, the gate closed of itself after him, clanging loudly. He went rather unsteadily up the narrow path that led to his front door and entered.
Easton had only a few yards to go before reaching his house after saying goodbye to Crass, but he stopped as soon as he heard Crass's door shut. Leaning against a street lamp, he finally gave in to the dizziness and nausea he'd been fighting off all the way home. Everything around him seemed to sway. The distant street lamp lights looked like they were floating above the pavement, and the road beneath him felt like it was rolling like the surface of a choppy sea. He rummaged through his pockets for his handkerchief and found it, wiping his mouth while secretly feeling grateful that Crass wasn't there to witness him like this. After a few moments, he continued walking and soon arrived at his home. As he walked through, the gate shut behind him with a loud clang. He made his way unsteadily up the narrow path to his front door and stepped inside.
The baby was asleep in the cradle. Slyme had gone up to his own room, and Ruth was sitting sewing by the fireside. The table was still set for two persons, for she had not yet taken her tea.
The baby was asleep in the crib. Slyme had gone up to his room, and Ruth was sitting and sewing by the fireplace. The table was still set for two, as she hadn’t had her tea yet.
Easton lurched in noisily. “’Ello, old girl!” he cried, throwing his dinner basket carelessly on the floor with an affectation of joviality and resting his hands on the table to support himself. “I’ve come at last, you see.”
Easton stumbled in loudly. “Hey there, old girl!” he shouted, tossing his dinner basket carelessly onto the floor with a fake cheerfulness and leaning on the table for support. “I’ve finally arrived, you see.”
Ruth left off sewing, and, letting her hands fall into her lap, sat looking at him. She had never seen him like this before. His face was ghastly pale, the eyes bloodshot and red-rimmed, the lips tremulous and moist, and the ends of the hair of his fair moustache, stuck together with saliva and stained with beer, hung untidily round his mouth in damp clusters.
Ruth stopped sewing, and, letting her hands drop into her lap, sat there looking at him. She had never seen him like this before. His face was ghostly pale, his eyes bloodshot and rimmed in red, his lips shaking and moist, and the ends of his light mustache were stuck together with saliva and stained with beer, hanging messily around his mouth in damp clumps.
Perceiving that she did not speak or smile, Easton concluded that she was angry and became grave himself.
Noticing that she didn’t talk or smile, Easton figured she was upset and grew serious himself.
“I’ve come at last, you see, my dear; better late than never.”
“I've finally arrived, you see, my dear; better late than never.”
He found it very difficult to speak plainly, for his lips trembled and refused to form the words.
He found it really hard to speak clearly because his lips shook and wouldn't form the words.
“I don’t know so much about that,” said Ruth, inclined to cry and trying not to let him see the pity she could not help feeling for him. “A nice state you’re in. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.”
“I’m not sure about that,” Ruth said, feeling like she might cry and trying not to let him see the sympathy she couldn’t help feeling for him. “What a mess you’re in. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Easton shook his head and laughed foolishly. “Don’t be angry, Ruth. It’s no good, you know.”
Easton shook his head and laughed awkwardly. “Don’t be mad, Ruth. It’s pointless, you know.”
He walked clumsily towards her, still leaning on the table to steady himself.
He walked awkwardly toward her, still leaning on the table for support.
“Don’t be angry,” he mumbled as he stooped over her, putting his arm round her neck and his face close to hers. “It’s no good being angry, you know, dear.”
“Don’t be mad,” he mumbled as he leaned over her, putting his arm around her neck and bringing his face close to hers. “There’s no point in being angry, you know, sweetheart.”
She shrank away, shuddering with involuntary disgust as he pressed his wet lips and filthy moustache upon her mouth. His fetid breath, foul with the smell of tobacco and beer, and the odour of the stale tobacco smoke that exuded from his clothes filled her with loathing. He kissed her repeatedly and when at last he released her she hastily wiped her face with her handkerchief and shivered.
She recoiled, shuddering with involuntary disgust as he pressed his wet lips and dirty mustache against her mouth. His awful breath, reeking of tobacco and beer, along with the stench of stale smoke from his clothes, filled her with revulsion. He kissed her over and over, and when he finally let her go, she quickly wiped her face with her handkerchief and shivered.
Easton said he did not want any tea, and went upstairs to bed almost immediately. Ruth did not want any tea either now, although she had been very hungry before he came home. She sat up very late, sewing, and when at length she did go upstairs she found him lying on his back, partly undressed on the outside of the bedclothes, with his mouth wide open, breathing stertorously.
Easton said he didn't want any tea and went upstairs to bed almost right away. Ruth didn't want any tea either now, even though she had been really hungry before he got home. She stayed up really late, sewing, and when she finally went upstairs, she found him lying on his back, partly undressed outside the blankets, with his mouth wide open, breathing heavily.
Chapter 20
The Forty Thieves. The Battle: Brigands versus Bandits
This is an even more unusually dull and uninteresting chapter, and introduces several matters that may appear to have nothing to do with the case. The reader is nevertheless entreated to peruse it, because it contains certain information necessary to an understanding of this history.
This is an even more unusually boring and uninteresting chapter, and it introduces several topics that may seem unrelated to the case. However, the reader is encouraged to read it, as it includes important information needed to understand this story.
The town of Mugsborough was governed by a set of individuals called the Municipal Council. Most of these “representatives of the people” were well-to-do or retired tradesmen. In the opinion of the inhabitants of Mugsborough, the fact that a man had succeeded in accumulating money in business was a clear demonstration of his fitness to be entrusted with the business of the town.
The town of Mugsborough was run by a group known as the Municipal Council. Most of these “representatives of the people” were successful or retired business owners. The people of Mugsborough believed that a man’s ability to make money in business proved he was capable of handling the town's affairs.
Consequently, when that very able and successful man of business Mr George Rushton was put up for election to the Council he was returned by a large majority of the votes of the working men who thought him an ideal personage...
Consequently, when the very capable and successful businessman Mr. George Rushton was nominated for election to the Council, he was elected by a large majority of the votes from the working men who saw him as an ideal candidate...
These Brigands did just as they pleased. No one ever interfered with them. They never consulted the ratepayers in any way. Even at election time they did not trouble to hold meetings: each one of them just issued a kind of manifesto setting forth his many noble qualities and calling upon the people for their votes: and the latter never failed to respond. They elected the same old crew time after time...
These bandits did whatever they wanted. No one ever got in their way. They never bothered to consult the taxpayers. Even during elections, they didn't hold meetings; each one just put out a sort of manifesto highlighting their impressive qualities and asking for votes, and the people always complied. They kept re-electing the same old group over and over...
The Brigands committed their depredations almost unhindered, for the voters were engaged in the Battle of Life. Take the public park for instance. Like so many swine around a trough—they were so busily engaged in this battle that most of them had no time to go to the park, or they might have noticed that there were not so many costly plants there as there should have been. And if they had inquired further they would have discovered that nearly all the members of the Town Council had very fine gardens. There was reason for these gardens being so grand, for the public park was systematically robbed of its best to make them so.
The Brigands carried out their thefts almost without resistance, as the voters were caught up in the struggles of everyday life. Take the public park, for example. Like a bunch of pigs around a trough—they were so wrapped up in this fight that most of them didn’t even have time to go to the park, or they might have noticed that there weren’t as many expensive plants there as there should have been. And if they had looked into it further, they would have found that nearly all the members of the Town Council had beautiful gardens. There was a reason for these gardens being so impressive, as the public park was systematically stripped of its best plants to make them that way.
There was a lake in the park where large numbers of ducks and geese were kept at the ratepayers’ expense. In addition to the food provided for these fowl with public money, visitors to the park used to bring them bags of biscuits and bread crusts. When the ducks and geese were nicely fattened the Brigands used to carry them off and devour them at home. When they became tired of eating duck or goose, some of the Councillors made arrangements with certain butchers and traded away the birds for meat.
There was a lake in the park where a lot of ducks and geese were kept at the expense of the local taxpayers. Besides the food provided for these birds with public funds, visitors to the park would bring them bags of biscuits and bread crusts. When the ducks and geese got nice and plump, the Brigands would take them and eat them at home. When they grew tired of duck or goose, some of the Councillors made deals with certain butchers and exchanged the birds for meat.
One of the most energetic members of the Band was Mr Jeremiah Didlum, the house-furnisher, who did a large hire system trade. He had an extensive stock of second-hand furniture that he had resumed possession of when the unfortunate would-be purchasers failed to pay the instalments regularly. Other of the second-hand things had been purchased for a fraction of their real value at Sheriff’s sales or from people whom misfortune or want of employment had reduced to the necessity of selling their household possessions.
One of the most active members of the Band was Mr. Jeremiah Didlum, the furniture dealer, who ran a large rental business. He had a vast inventory of used furniture that he had taken back when the unfortunate buyers couldn’t keep up with the payments. Some of the second-hand items were bought at bargain prices from sheriff's sales or from individuals who, due to hardship or unemployment, were forced to sell their household belongings.
Another notable member of the Band was Mr Amos Grinder, who had practically monopolized the greengrocery trade and now owned nearly all the fruiterers’ shops in the town. As for the other shops, if they did not buy their stocks from him—or, rather, the company of which he was managing director and principal shareholder—if these other fruiterers and greengrocers did not buy their stuff from his company, he tried to smash them by opening branches in their immediate neighbourhood and selling below cost. He was a self-made man: an example of what may be accomplished by cunning and selfishness.
Another notable member of the Band was Mr. Amos Grinder, who had practically cornered the greengrocery market and now owned nearly all the fruit shops in town. As for the other shops, if they didn’t buy their stock from him—or, more accurately, from the company where he was the managing director and main shareholder—if these other fruit and vegetable sellers didn’t get their goods from his company, he tried to crush them by opening branches nearby and selling at a loss. He was a self-made man: an example of what can be achieved through cunning and selfishness.
Then there was the Chief of the Band—Mr Adam Sweater, the Mayor. He was always the Chief, although he was not always Mayor, it being the rule that the latter “honour” should be enjoyed by all the members of the Band in turn. A bright “honour”, forsooth! to be the first citizen in a community composed for the most part of ignorant semi-imbeciles, slaves, slave-drivers and psalm-singing hypocrites. Mr Sweater was the managing director and principal shareholder of a large drapery business in which he had amassed a considerable fortune. This was not very surprising, considering that he paid none of his workpeople fair wages and many of them no wages at all. He employed a great number of girls and young women who were supposed to be learning dressmaking, mantle-making or millinery. These were all indentured apprentices, some of whom had paid premiums of from five to ten pounds. They were “bound” for three years. For the first two years they received no wages: the third year they got a shilling or eightpence a week. At the end of the third year they usually got the sack, unless they were willing to stay on as improvers at from three shillings to four and sixpence per week.
Then there was the Chief of the Band—Mr. Adam Sweater, the Mayor. He was always the Chief, even though he wasn't always the Mayor, since the rule was that the latter "honor" should be held by all the members of the Band in rotation. A bright "honor," indeed! to be the first citizen in a community mostly made up of ignorant semi-imbeciles, slaves, slave-drivers, and hypocritical psalm-singers. Mr. Sweater was the managing director and main shareholder of a large clothing business where he had built up a significant fortune. This wasn’t too surprising, considering he paid none of his workers fair wages and many of them no wages at all. He employed a lot of girls and young women who were supposedly learning dressmaking, mantle-making, or millinery. These were all indentured apprentices, some of whom had paid fees of between five and ten pounds. They were "bound" for three years. For the first two years, they received no wages; in the third year, they got a shilling or eightpence a week. At the end of the third year, they typically got fired, unless they were willing to continue as improvers for between three shillings and four shillings and sixpence a week.
They worked from half past eight in the morning till eight at night, with an interval of an hour for dinner, and at half past four they ceased work for fifteen minutes for tea. This was provided by the firm—half a pint for each girl, but they had to bring their own milk and sugar and bread and butter.
They worked from 8:30 AM to 8 PM, with a one-hour break for dinner, and at 4:30 PM they stopped working for 15 minutes for tea. The company provided tea—half a pint for each girl—but they had to bring their own milk, sugar, and bread and butter.
Few of the girls ever learned their trades thoroughly. Some were taught to make sleeves; others cuffs or button-holes, and so on. The result was that in a short time each one became very expert and quick at one thing; and although their proficiency in this one thing would never enable them to earn a decent living, it enabled Mr Sweater to make money during the period of their apprenticeship, and that was all he cared about.
Few of the girls ever really learned their trades. Some were taught to make sleeves, others cuffs or buttonholes, and so on. As a result, they quickly became very skilled at one specific task. Even though mastering just one skill would never be enough for them to earn a decent living, it allowed Mr. Sweater to profit during their apprenticeship, and that was all he cared about.
Occasionally a girl of intelligence and spirit would insist on the fulfilment of the terms of her indentures, and sometimes the parents would protest. If this were persisted in those girls got on better: but even these were turned to good account by the wily Sweater, who induced the best of them to remain after their time was up by paying them what appeared—by contrast with the other girls’ money—good wages, sometimes even seven or eight shillings a week! and liberal promises of future advancement. These girls then became a sort of reserve who could be called up to crush any manifestation of discontent on the part of the leading hands.
Occasionally, a smart and spirited girl would demand that her contract terms be honored, and sometimes the parents would object. If they persisted, these girls did better: but even they were cleverly used by the cunning Sweater, who convinced the best of them to stay after their time was up by offering what seemed like—compared to the other girls’ pay—good wages, sometimes even seven or eight shillings a week! plus generous promises for future advancement. These girls then became a sort of backup force that could be called upon to suppress any signs of unrest from the main workers.
The greater number of the girls, however, submitted tamely to the conditions imposed upon them. They were too young to realize the wrong that was being done them. As for their parents, it never occurred to them to doubt the sincerity of so good a man as Mr Sweater, who was always prominent in every good and charitable work.
The majority of the girls, however, accepted the conditions imposed on them without protest. They were too young to understand the injustice being done to them. As for their parents, they never thought to question the sincerity of someone as good as Mr. Sweater, who was always involved in every charitable effort.
At the expiration of the girl’s apprenticeship, if the parents complained of her want of proficiency, the pious Sweater would attribute it to idleness or incapacity, and as the people were generally poor he seldom or never had any trouble with them. This was how he fulfilled the unctuous promise made to the confiding parents at the time the girl was handed over to his tender mercy—that he would “make a woman of her”.
At the end of the girl's training period, if her parents expressed concerns about her lack of skills, the devout Sweater would blame it on laziness or inability, and since most people were poor, he rarely faced any issues with them. This was how he kept the reassuring promise made to the trusting parents when the girl was placed under his care—that he would “make a woman of her.”
This method of obtaining labour by false pretences and without payment, which enabled him to produce costly articles for a mere fraction of the price for which they were eventually sold, was adopted in other departments of his business. He procured shop assistants of both sexes on the same terms. A youth was indentured, usually for five years, to be “Made a Man of” and “Turned out fit to take a Position in any House”. If possible, a premium, five, ten, or twenty pounds—according to their circumstances—would be extracted from the parents. For the first three years, no wages: after that, perhaps two or three shillings a week.
This method of getting labor through deception and without paying anyone, which allowed him to create expensive items for just a small fraction of the price they were eventually sold for, was also used in other areas of his business. He hired shop assistants of both genders under the same conditions. A young person was bound to a contract, typically for five years, to be “Made a Man of” and “Turned out fit to take a Position in any House.” If possible, a fee, ranging from five, ten, or twenty pounds—depending on their situation—would be collected from the parents. For the first three years, there were no wages: after that, maybe two or three shillings a week.
At the end of the five years the work of “Making a Man of him” would be completed. Mr Sweater would then congratulate him and assure him that he was qualified to assume a “position” in any House but regret that there was no longer any room for him in his. Business was so bad. Still, if the Man wished he might stay on until he secured a better “position” and, as a matter of generosity, although he did not really need the Man’s services, he would pay him ten shillings per week!
At the end of the five years, the work of “Making a Man of him” would be finished. Mr. Sweater would then congratulate him and assure him that he was qualified to take a “position” in any company, but he would regret that there was no longer any room for him in his. Business was really bad. Still, if the Man wanted, he could stay until he found a better “position,” and out of kindness, even though he didn't actually need the Man’s help, he would pay him ten shillings a week!
Provided he was not addicted to drinking, smoking, gambling or the Stock Exchange, or going to theatres, the young man’s future was thus assured. Even if he were unsuccessful in his efforts to obtain another position he could save a portion of his salary and eventually commence business on his own account.
Provided he wasn't addicted to drinking, smoking, gambling, the stock market, or going to theaters, the young man's future was secure. Even if he didn't succeed in finding another job, he could save part of his salary and eventually start his own business.
However, the branch of Mr Sweater’s business to which it is desired to especially direct the reader’s attention was the Homeworkers Department. He employed a large number of women making ladies’ blouses, fancy aprons and children’s pinafores. Most of these articles were disposed of wholesale in London and elsewhere, but some were retailed at “Sweaters” Emporium” in Mugsborough and at the firm’s other retail establishments throughout the county. Many of the women workers were widows with children, who were glad to obtain any employment that did not take them away from their homes and families.
However, the part of Mr. Sweater’s business that we want to highlight is the Homeworkers Department. He employed a large number of women making ladies’ blouses, fancy aprons, and children’s pinafores. Most of these items were sold in bulk in London and other places, but some were sold at “Sweater’s Emporium” in Mugsborough and at the company’s other retail locations throughout the county. Many of the women workers were widows with children, who were happy to find any job that allowed them to stay at home with their families.
The blouses were paid for at the rate of from two shillings to five shillings a dozen, the women having to provide their own machine and cotton, besides calling for and delivering the work. These poor women were able to clear from six to eight shillings a week: and to earn even that they had to work almost incessantly for fourteen or sixteen hours a day. There was no time for cooking and very little to cook, for they lived principally on bread and margarine and tea. Their homes were squalid, their children half-starved and raggedly clothed in grotesque garments hastily fashioned out of the cast-off clothes of charitable neighbours.
The blouses were paid for at a rate of two to five shillings per dozen, with the women needing to provide their own sewing machines and cotton, as well as picking up and dropping off the work. These poor women managed to earn between six and eight shillings a week, but to make that much, they had to work almost continuously for fourteen to sixteen hours a day. There was no time for cooking, and very little food to prepare, as they primarily lived on bread, margarine, and tea. Their homes were in terrible condition, their children were malnourished and dressed in ragged clothes made from the hand-me-downs of kind neighbors.
But it was not in vain that these women toiled every weary day until exhaustion compelled them to cease. It was not in vain that they passed their cheerless lives bending with aching shoulders over the thankless work that barely brought them bread. It was not in vain that they and their children went famished and in rags, for after all, the principal object of their labour was accomplished: the Good Cause was advanced. Mr Sweater waxed rich and increased in goods and respectability.
But it wasn't for nothing that these women worked hard every tiring day until they were too exhausted to continue. It wasn't for nothing that they spent their dreary lives hunched over the unappreciated tasks that barely provided for them. It wasn't for nothing that they and their children went hungry and dressed in rags, because in the end, the main goal of their efforts was achieved: the Good Cause moved forward. Mr. Sweater became wealthy and gained more possessions and respectability.
Of course, none of those women were COMPELLED to engage in that glorious cause. No one is compelled to accept any particular set of conditions in a free country like this. Mr Trafaim—the manager of Sweater’s Homework Department—always put the matter before them in the plainest, fairest possible way. There was the work: that was the figure! And those who didn’t like it could leave it. There was no compulsion.
Of course, none of those women were forced to take part in that noble cause. No one is forced to accept any specific set of conditions in a free country like this. Mr. Trafaim—the manager of Sweater’s Homework Department—always presented the situation to them in the clearest, fairest way possible. There was the job: that was the pay! And those who didn’t like it could walk away. There was no pressure.
Sometimes some perverse creature belonging to that numerous class who are too lazy to work DID leave it! But as the manager said, there were plenty of others who were only too glad to take it. In fact, such was the enthusiasm amongst these women—especially such of them as had little children to provide for—and such was their zeal for the Cause, that some of them have been known to positively beg to be allowed to work!
Sometimes a lazy person from that large group who are too unwilling to work DID leave it! But as the manager said, there were plenty of others eager to take it. In fact, the enthusiasm among these women—especially those with small children to care for—and their dedication to the Cause was so strong that some of them have literally begged to be allowed to work!
By these and similar means Adam Sweater had contrived to lay up for himself a large amount of treasure upon earth, besides attaining undoubted respectability; for that he was respectable no one questioned. He went to chapel twice every Sunday, his obese figure arrayed in costly apparel, consisting—with other things—of grey trousers, a long garment called a frock-coat, a tall silk hat, a quantity of jewellery and a morocco-bound gilt-edged Bible. He was an official of some sort of the Shining Light Chapel. His name appeared in nearly every published list of charitable subscriptions. No starving wretch had ever appealed to him in vain for a penny soup ticket.
By using these and similar tactics, Adam Sweater had managed to accumulate a significant amount of wealth on earth, in addition to achieving undeniable respectability; no one doubted that he was a respectable man. He attended church twice every Sunday, his hefty figure dressed in expensive clothes, which included—among other things—gray trousers, a long coat known as a frock coat, a tall silk hat, a lot of jewelry, and a gilded Bible bound in morocco leather. He held some sort of official position at the Shining Light Chapel. His name appeared on nearly every published list of charitable donations. No desperate person had ever asked him for help in vain for a soup ticket.
Small wonder that when this good and public-spirited man offered his services to the town—free of charge—the intelligent working men of Mugsborough accepted his offer with enthusiastic applause. The fact that he had made money in business was a proof of his intellectual capacity. His much-advertised benevolence was a guarantee that his abilities would be used to further not his own private interests, but the interests of every section of the community, especially those of the working classes, of whom the majority of his constituents was composed.
It's no surprise that when this good and community-minded man offered his services to the town—at no cost—the savvy working men of Mugsborough accepted his offer with enthusiastic applause. The fact that he had made money in business showed his smarts. His highly publicized kindness reassured everyone that his skills would be used to benefit not just his own interests, but those of all parts of the community, especially the working class, which made up most of his constituents.
As for the shopkeepers, they were all so absorbed in their own business—so busily engaged chasing their employees, adding up their accounts, and dressing themselves up in feeble imitation of the “Haristocracy”—that they were incapable of taking a really intelligent interest in anything else. They thought of the Town Council as a kind of Paradise reserved exclusively for jerry-builders and successful tradesmen. Possibly, some day, if they succeeded in making money, they might become town councillors themselves! but in the meantime public affairs were no particular concern of theirs. So some of them voted for Adam Sweater because he was a Liberal and some of them voted against him for the same “reason”.
The shopkeepers were so caught up in their own lives—busy chasing their employees, balancing their accounts, and trying to dress in a weak imitation of the "upper class"—that they couldn’t take a real interest in anything else. They viewed the Town Council as a sort of paradise meant only for shoddy builders and successful businesspeople. Maybe someday, if they made enough money, they could become town councillors themselves! But for now, public affairs didn’t really matter to them. So some of them voted for Adam Sweater because he was a Liberal, while others voted against him for the same "reason."
Now and then, when details of some unusually scandalous proceeding of the Council’s leaked out, the townspeople—roused for a brief space from their customary indifference—would discuss the matter in a casual, half-indignant, half-amused, helpless sort of way; but always as if it were something that did not directly concern them. It was during some such nine days’ wonder that the title of “The Forty Thieves” was bestowed on the members of the Council by their semi-imbecile constituents, who, not possessing sufficient intelligence to devise means of punishing the culprits, affected to regard the manoeuvres of the Brigands as a huge joke.
Now and then, when details of some unusually scandalous action by the Council leaked out, the townspeople—briefly shaken from their usual indifference—would talk about it in a casual, half-indignant, half-amused, and helpless kind of way; but always as if it were something that didn’t really involve them. It was during one of those brief moments of outrage that the nickname “The Forty Thieves” was given to the members of the Council by their somewhat clueless constituents, who, lacking the intelligence to come up with ways to punish the wrongdoers, pretended to see the actions of the Brigands as a big joke.
There was only one member of the Council who did not belong to the Band—Councillor Weakling, a retired physician; but unfortunately he also was a respectable man. When he saw something going forwards that he did not think was right, he protested and voted against it and then—he collapsed! There was nothing of the low agitator about HIM. As for the Brigands, they laughed at his protests and his vote did not matter.
There was only one member of the Council who wasn't part of the Band—Councillor Weakling, a retired doctor; but unfortunately, he was also a respectable guy. Whenever he saw something happening that he thought was wrong, he would protest and vote against it, and then—he collapsed! He was nothing like a low-level troublemaker. The Brigands just laughed at his protests, and his vote didn’t count for anything.
With this one exception, the other members of the band were very similar in character to Sweater, Rushton, Didlum and Grinder. They had all joined the Band with the same objects, self-glorification and the advancement of their private interests. These were the real reasons why they besought the ratepayers to elect them to the Council, but of course none of them ever admitted that such was the case. No! When these noble-minded altruists offered their services to the town they asked the people to believe that they were actuated by a desire to give their time and abilities for the purpose of furthering the interests of Others, which was much the same as asking them to believe that it is possible for the leopard to change his spots.
With this one exception, the other band members were pretty much like Sweater, Rushton, Didlum, and Grinder. They all joined the band for the same reasons: to boost their own egos and promote their personal agendas. Those were the real reasons they pleaded with the ratepayers to vote them onto the Council, but of course, none of them ever confessed to that. No! When these supposedly noble altruists offered their services to the town, they wanted people to believe that their motivation was to dedicate their time and skills to help others, which was a bit like asking them to believe that a leopard can change its spots.
Owing to the extraordinary apathy of the other inhabitants, the Brigands were able to carry out their depredations undisturbed. Daylight robberies were of frequent occurrence.
Due to the complete indifference of the other residents, the Brigands were able to carry out their attacks without any interference. Daylight robberies happened all the time.
For many years these Brigands had looked with greedy eyes upon the huge profits of the Gas Company. They thought it was a beastly shame that those other bandits should be always raiding the town and getting clear away with such rich spoils.
For many years these brigands had looked with greedy eyes at the huge profits of the gas company. They thought it was a disgrace that those other criminals kept raiding the town and getting away with such rich rewards.
At length—about two years ago—after much study and many private consultations, a plan of campaign was evolved; a secret council of war was held, presided over by Mr Sweater, and the Brigands formed themselves into an association called “The Mugsborough Electric Light Supply and Installation Coy. Ltd.”, and bound themselves by a solemn oath to do their best to drive the Gas Works Bandits out of the town and to capture the spoils at present enjoyed by the latter for themselves.
At last—about two years ago—after a lot of study and many private meetings, a plan of action was created; a secret war council was held, led by Mr. Sweater, and the Brigands formed an organization called “The Mugsborough Electric Light Supply and Installation Co. Ltd.” They made a serious promise to do their best to drive the Gas Works Bandits out of the town and take the profits currently enjoyed by them for themselves.
There was a large piece of ground, the property of the town, that was a suitable site for the works; so in their character of directors of the Electric Light Coy. they offered to buy this land from the Municipality—or, in other words, from themselves—for about half its value.
There was a large piece of land owned by the town that was a good spot for the project, so acting as the leaders of the Electric Light Company, they proposed to purchase this land from the Municipality—or, in other words, from themselves—for about half its worth.
At the meeting of the Town Council when this offer was considered, all the members present, with the solitary exception of Dr Weakling, being shareholders in the newly formed company, Councillor Rushton moved a resolution in favour of accepting it. He said that every encouragement should be given to the promoters of the Electric Light Coy., those public-spirited citizens who had come forward and were willing to risk their capital in an undertaking that would be a benefit to every class of residents in the town that they all loved so well. (Applause.) There could be no doubt that the introduction of the electric light would be a great addition to the attractions of Mugsborough, but there was another and more urgent reason that disposed him to do whatever he could to encourage the Company to proceed with this work. Unfortunately, as was usual at that time of the year (Mr Rushton’s voice trembled with emotion) the town was full of unemployed. (The Mayor, Alderman Sweater, and all the other Councillors shook their heads sadly; they were visibly affected.) There was no doubt that the starting of that work at that time would be an inestimable boon to the working-classes. As the representative of a working-class ward he was in favour of accepting the offer of the Company. (Hear. Hear.)
At the Town Council meeting where this offer was discussed, all the members present, except for Dr. Weakling, were shareholders in the newly formed company. Councillor Rushton put forward a motion to accept it. He stated that we should fully support the promoters of the Electric Light Company, those civic-minded citizens who had stepped up and were ready to invest their capital in a project that would benefit everyone in the town that they all cherished so much. (Applause.) There was no doubt that bringing in electric light would greatly enhance Mugsborough’s appeal, but there was another, more pressing reason that motivated him to do everything he could to encourage the Company to move forward with this project. Unfortunately, as was common around this time of year (Mr. Rushton’s voice shook with emotion), the town was filled with unemployed people. (The Mayor, Alderman Sweater, and all the other Councillors nodded in sadness; they were visibly moved.) There was no doubt that starting this work now would be an invaluable blessing for the working class. As the representative of a working-class ward, he supported accepting the Company’s offer. (Hear. Hear.)
Councillor Didlum seconded. In his opinion, it would be nothing short of a crime to oppose anything that would provide work for the unemployed.
Councillor Didlum seconded. In his view, it would be a crime to oppose anything that would create jobs for the unemployed.
Councillor Weakling moved that the offer be refused. (Shame.) He admitted that the electric light would be an improvement to the town, and in view of the existing distress he would be glad to see the work started, but the price mentioned was altogether too low. It was not more than half the value of the land. (Derisive laughter.)
Councillor Weakling proposed that the offer be turned down. (That's embarrassing.) He acknowledged that the electric light would enhance the town, and considering the current hardships, he would be happy to see the project begin, but the price quoted was far too low. It was only about half the value of the land. (Laughs of ridicule.)
Councillor Grinder said he was astonished at the attitude taken up by Councillor Weakling. In his (Grinder’s) opinion it was disgraceful that a member of the council should deliberately try to wreck a project which would do so much towards relieving the unemployed.
Councillor Grinder said he was shocked by the attitude of Councillor Weakling. In his (Grinder’s) opinion, it was shameful for a council member to intentionally sabotage a project that would help so many unemployed people.
The Mayor, Alderman Sweater, said that he could not allow the amendment to be discussed until it was seconded: if there were no seconder he would put the original motion.
The Mayor, Alderman Sweater, said that he couldn’t allow the amendment to be discussed until it was seconded: if there was no one to second it, he would move forward with the original motion.
There was no seconder, because everyone except Weakling was in favour of the resolution, which was carried amid loud cheers, and the representatives of the ratepayers proceeded to the consideration of the next business.
There was no one to second it, because everyone except Weakling supported the resolution, which passed with loud cheers, and the representatives of the ratepayers moved on to the next item on the agenda.
Councillor Didlum proposed that the duty on all coal brought into the borough be raised from two shillings to three shillings per ton.
Councillor Didlum suggested that the tax on all coal brought into the borough be increased from two shillings to three shillings per ton.
Councillor Rushton seconded. The largest consumer of coal was the Gas Coy., and, considering the great profits made by that company, they were quite justified in increasing the duty to the highest figure the Act permitted.
Councillor Rushton seconded. The biggest coal user was the Gas Company, and considering the huge profits made by that company, they were completely justified in raising the duty to the maximum amount allowed by the Act.
After a feeble protest from Weakling, who said it would only increase the price of gas and coal without interfering with the profits of the Gas Coy., this was also carried, and after some other business had been transacted, the Band dispersed.
After a weak protest from Weakling, who mentioned that it would just raise the price of gas and coal without affecting the profits of the Gas Company, this was also approved. After completing some other business, the Band broke up.
That meeting was held two years ago, and since that time the Electric Light Works had been built and the war against the gasworks carried on vigorously. After several encounters, in which they lost a few customers and a portion of the public lighting, the Gasworks Bandits retreated out of the town and entrenched themselves in a strong position beyond the borough boundary, where they erected a number of gasometers. They were thus enabled to pour gas into the town at long range without having to pay the coal dues.
That meeting happened two years ago, and since then, the Electric Light Works has been built, and the fight against the gasworks has been ongoing. After several confrontations, during which they lost some customers and a part of the public lighting, the Gasworks Bandits withdrew from the town and set up a strong position beyond the borough boundary, where they built several gasometers. This allowed them to supply gas to the town from a distance without having to pay for coal dues.
This masterly stratagem created something like a panic in the ranks of the Forty Thieves. At the end of two years they found themselves exhausted with the protracted campaign, their movements hampered by a lot of worn-out plant and antiquated machinery, and harassed on every side by the lower charges of the Gas Coy. They were reluctantly constrained to admit that the attempt to undermine the Gasworks was a melancholy failure, and that the Mugsborough Electric Light and Installation Coy. was a veritable white elephant. They began to ask themselves what they should do with it; and some of them even urged unconditional surrender, or an appeal to the arbitration of the Bankruptcy Court.
This clever plan caused a bit of a panic among the Forty Thieves. After two years, they found themselves worn out from the long campaign, struggling with outdated equipment and old machines, and under constant pressure from the lower rates of the Gas Company. They reluctantly had to face the fact that their attempt to take over the Gasworks was a sad failure, and that the Mugsborough Electric Light and Installation Company was a real burden. They started to wonder what to do with it; some even suggested giving up completely or asking the Bankruptcy Court for help.
In the midst of all the confusion and demoralization there was, however, one man who did not lose his presence of mind, who in this dark hour of disaster remained calm and immovable, and like a vast mountain of flesh reared his head above the storm, whose mighty intellect perceived a way to turn this apparently hopeless defeat into a glorious victory. That man was Adam Sweater, the Chief of the Band.
In the middle of all the chaos and discouragement, there was one man who kept his cool, who, during this dark time of disaster, stayed calm and steady, like a huge mountain standing tall in the storm, whose great mind found a way to transform this seemingly hopeless defeat into a glorious victory. That man was Adam Sweater, the Chief of the Band.
Chapter 21
The Reign of Terror. The Great Money Trick
During the next four weeks the usual reign of terror continued at “The Cave”. The men slaved like so many convicts under the vigilant surveillance of Crass, Misery and Rushton. No one felt free from observation for a single moment. It happened frequently that a man who was working alone—as he thought—on turning round would find Hunter or Rushton standing behind him: or one would look up from his work to catch sight of a face watching him through a door or a window or over the banisters. If they happened to be working in a room on the ground floor, or at a window on any floor, they knew that both Rushton and Hunter were in the habit of hiding among the trees that surrounded the house, and spying upon them thus.
During the next four weeks, the usual reign of terror continued at “The Cave.” The men worked like prisoners under the watchful eyes of Crass, Misery, and Rushton. No one felt free from scrutiny for even a second. It often happened that a man who thought he was alone would turn around to find Hunter or Rushton standing right behind him, or he would look up from his work and see a face watching him through a door, a window, or over the railings. If they happened to be working in a room on the ground floor or by a window on any floor, they knew that both Rushton and Hunter liked to hide among the trees surrounding the house, spying on them from there.
There was a plumber working outside repairing the guttering that ran round the bottom edge of the roof. This poor wretch’s life was a perfect misery: he fancied he saw Hunter or Rushton in every bush. He had two ladders to work from, and since these ladders had been in use Misery had thought of a new way of spying on the men. Finding that he never succeeded in catching anyone doing anything wrong when he entered the house by one of the doors, Misery adopted the plan of crawling up one of the ladders, getting in through one of the upper windows and creeping softly downstairs and in and out of the rooms. Even then he never caught anyone, but that did not matter, for he accomplished his principal purpose—every man seemed afraid to cease working for even an instant.
There was a plumber outside fixing the guttering around the bottom of the roof. This poor guy's life was a complete nightmare; he thought he saw Hunter or Rushton in every bush. He had two ladders to work from, and since those ladders had been used, Misery came up with a new way to spy on the men. Finding that he never managed to catch anyone doing anything wrong when he entered the house through one of the doors, Misery decided to climb up one of the ladders, get in through one of the upper windows, and quietly creep downstairs and in and out of the rooms. Even then, he never caught anyone, but that didn’t matter because he achieved his main goal—every man seemed too scared to stop working for even a second.
The result of all this was, of course, that the work progressed rapidly towards completion. The hands grumbled and cursed, but all the same every man tore into it for all he was worth. Although he did next to nothing himself, Crass watched and urged on the others. He was “in charge of the job”: he knew that unless he succeeded in making this work pay he would not be put in charge of another job. On the other hand, if he did make it pay he would be given the preference over others and be kept on as long as the firm had any work. The firm would give him the preference only as long as it paid them to do so.
The result of all this was that the work moved quickly toward completion. The workers complained and swore, but still, every man put in his best effort. Even though he barely did anything himself, Crass watched and encouraged the others. He was “in charge of the job”: he knew that if he didn’t make this work profitable, he wouldn’t be given another opportunity to lead. On the flip side, if he did make it profitable, he would be favored over the others and kept on as long as the company had work. The company would only favor him as long as it benefited them to do so.
As for the hands, each man knew that there was no chance of obtaining work anywhere else at present; there were dozens of men out of employment already. Besides, even if there had been a chance of getting another job somewhere else, they knew that the conditions were more or less the same on every firm. Some were even worse than this one. Each man knew that unless he did as much as ever he could, Crass would report him for being slow. They knew also that when the job began to draw to a close the number of men employed upon it would be reduced, and when that time came the hands who did the most work would be kept on and the slower ones discharged. It was therefore in the hope of being one of the favoured few that while inwardly cursing the rest for “tearing into it”, everyone as a matter of self-preservation went and “tore into it” themselves.
As for the workers, each guy knew there was no chance of finding work anywhere else right now; there were plenty of people already out of a job. Plus, even if there had been a chance to find another job somewhere, they realized that the conditions were pretty much the same at every company. Some were even worse than this one. Each worker understood that unless he put in as much effort as he could, Crass would report him for being slow. They also knew that as the job got closer to the end, the number of workers on it would be cut down, and when that happened, the employees who did the most work would be kept on while the slower ones would be let go. So, with the hope of being one of the lucky few, while secretly complaining about the others for “going all out,” everyone, as a way to protect themselves, ended up “going all out” too.
They all cursed Crass, but most of them would have been very glad to change places with him: and if any one of them had been in his place they would have been compelled to act in the same way—or lose the job.
They all complained about Crass, but most of them would have been very happy to switch places with him: and if any one of them had been in his position, they would have had to act the same way—or risk losing their job.
They all reviled Hunter, but most of them would have been glad to change places with him also: and if any one of them had been in his place they would have been compelled to do the same things, or lose the job.
They all criticized Hunter, but most of them would have gladly swapped places with him too: and if any of them had been in his position, they would have had to do the same things or risk losing the job.
They all hated and blamed Rushton. Yet if they had been in Rushton’s place they would have been compelled to adopt the same methods, or become bankrupt: for it is obvious that the only way to compete successfully against other employers who are sweaters is to be a sweater yourself. Therefore no one who is an upholder of the present system can consistently blame any of these men. Blame the system.
They all hated and blamed Rushton. Yet if they had been in Rushton’s position, they would have had to use the same methods or risk going bankrupt: it’s clear that the only way to compete effectively against other employers who exploit workers is to exploit workers yourself. So, no one who supports the current system can consistently blame any of these men. Blame the system.
If you, reader, had been one of the hands, would you have slogged? Or would you have preferred to starve and see your family starve? If you had been in Crass’s place, would you have resigned rather than do such dirty work? If you had had Hunter’s berth, would you have given it up and voluntarily reduced yourself to the level of the hands? If you had been Rushton, would you rather have become bankrupt than treat your “hands” and your customers in the same way as your competitors treated theirs? It may be that, so placed, you—being the noble-minded paragon that you are—would have behaved unselfishly. But no one has any right to expect you to sacrifice yourself for the benefit of other people who would only call you a fool for your pains. It may be true that if any one of the hands—Owen, for instance—had been an employer of labour, he would have done the same as other employers. Some people seem to think that proves that the present system is all right! But really it only proves that the present system compels selfishness. One must either trample upon others or be trampled upon oneself. Happiness might be possible if everyone were unselfish; if everyone thought of the welfare of his neighbour before thinking of his own. But as there is only a very small percentage of such unselfish people in the world, the present system has made the earth into a sort of hell. Under the present system there is not sufficient of anything for everyone to have enough. Consequently there is a fight—called by Christians the “Battle of Life”. In this fight some get more than they need, some barely enough, some very little, and some none at all. The more aggressive, cunning, unfeeling and selfish you are the better it will be for you. As long as this “Battle of Life” System endures, we have no right to blame other people for doing the same things that we are ourselves compelled to do. Blame the system.
If you were one of the workers, would you have struggled through it? Or would you have chosen to starve and let your family starve too? If you were in Crass’s position, would you have quit rather than do such unpleasant work? If you had Hunter’s job, would you have given it up and willingly lowered yourself to the level of the workers? If you were Rushton, would you rather go bankrupt than treat your workers and customers the same way your competitors treated theirs? Maybe, in that situation, you—being the noble person you are—would have acted selflessly. But no one can expect you to sacrifice yourself for the sake of other people who would just call you foolish for it. It could be true that if any of the workers—like Owen, for example—had been an employer, they would have acted like other employers do. Some people think this shows that the current system is fine! But it really just shows that the current system encourages selfishness. You either step on others or get stepped on yourself. Happiness could be possible if everyone were selfless; if everyone prioritized their neighbor's well-being over their own. But since there are only a very small number of such selfless people in the world, the current system has turned life into a kind of hell. Under this system, there's not enough of anything for everyone to have what they need. As a result, there's a struggle—what Christians call the “Battle of Life.” In this struggle, some get more than they need, some barely get enough, some get very little, and some get nothing at all. The more aggressive, cunning, unfeeling, and selfish you are, the better off you'll be. As long as this “Battle of Life” system continues, we have no right to blame others for doing the same things we feel forced to do. Blame the system.
But that IS just what the hands did not do. They blamed each other; they blamed Crass, and Hunter, and Rushton, but with the Great System of which they were all more or less the victims they were quite content, being persuaded that it was the only one possible and the best that human wisdom could devise. The reason why they all believed this was because not one of them had ever troubled to inquire whether it would not be possible to order things differently. They were content with the present system. If they had not been content they would have been anxious to find some way to alter it. But they had never taken the trouble to seriously inquire whether it was possible to find some better way, and although they all knew in a hazy fashion that other methods of managing the affairs of the world had already been proposed, they neglected to inquire whether these other methods were possible or practicable, and they were ready and willing to oppose with ignorant ridicule or brutal force any man who was foolish or quixotic enough to try to explain to them the details of what he thought was a better way. They accepted the present system in the same way as they accepted the alternating seasons. They knew that there was spring and summer and autumn and winter. As to how these different seasons came to be, or what caused them, they hadn’t the remotest notion, and it is extremely doubtful whether the question had ever occurred to any of them: but there is no doubt whatever about the fact that none of them knew. From their infancy they had been trained to distrust their own intelligence, and to leave the management of the affairs of the world—and for that matter of the next world too—to their betters; and now most of them were absolutely incapable of thinking of any abstract subject whatever. Nearly all their betters—that is, the people who do nothing—were unanimous in agreeing that the present system is a very good one and that it is impossible to alter or improve it. Therefore Crass and his mates, although they knew nothing whatever about it themselves, accepted it as an established, incontrovertible fact that the existing state of things is immutable. They believed it because someone else told them so. They would have believed anything: on one condition—namely, that they were told to believe it by their betters. They said it was surely not for the Like of Them to think that they knew better than those who were more educated and had plenty of time to study.
But that's exactly what the hands didn't do. They blamed each other; they blamed Crass, Hunter, and Rushton, but they were pretty satisfied with the Great System that made them all victims in some way, convinced it was the only possible and best one human wisdom could come up with. The reason they all believed this was that none of them ever bothered to ask if it was possible to organize things differently. They were okay with the current system. If they had been unhappy, they would have sought a way to change it. But they never made the effort to seriously explore whether there was a better way, and even though they all had a vague awareness that other methods for managing the world's affairs had been suggested, they didn’t bother to find out if those alternatives were feasible or practical. They were ready to oppose with ignorance, ridicule, or brute force anyone who dared to explain what they thought was a better way. They accepted the current system just like they accepted the changing seasons. They knew there was spring, summer, autumn, and winter. As for how these different seasons came about or what caused them, they had no clue, and it's very doubtful the question ever crossed their minds; but there's no doubt none of them knew. From childhood, they had been trained to doubt their own intelligence and to leave the management of worldly affairs—and even the next world—to their betters; and now most of them were completely incapable of thinking about any abstract topic at all. Almost all their betters—that is, the people who do nothing—agreed that the current system was a good one and that it couldn't be changed or improved. So Crass and his friends, even though they knew nothing about it themselves, accepted it as an established, undeniable fact that the current situation was unchangeable. They believed it because someone else told them so. They would have believed anything: on one condition—that it was conveyed to them by their betters. They thought it surely wasn’t for people like them to believe they knew better than those who were more educated and had plenty of time to study.
As the work in the drawing-room proceeded, Crass abandoned the hope that Owen was going to make a mess of it. Some of the rooms upstairs being now ready for papering, Slyme was started on that work, Bert being taken away from Owen to assist Slyme as paste boy, and it was arranged that Crass should help Owen whenever he needed someone to lend him a hand.
As the work in the living room continued, Crass gave up on the idea that Owen was going to mess it up. Since some of the rooms upstairs were now ready for wallpaper, Slyme started working on that, and Bert was pulled away from Owen to help Slyme as the person who applied the paste. It was also decided that Crass would assist Owen whenever he needed an extra pair of hands.
Sweater came frequently during these four weeks, being interested in the progress of the work. On these occasions Crass always managed to be present in the drawing-room and did most of the talking. Owen was very satisfied with this arrangement, for he was always ill at ease when conversing with a man like Sweater, who spoke in an offensively patronizing way and expected common people to kowtow to and “Sir” him at every second word. Crass however, seemed to enjoy doing that kind of thing. He did not exactly grovel on the floor, when Sweater spoke to him, but he contrived to convey the impression that he was willing to do so if desired.
Sweater visited often over those four weeks, showing interest in the project’s progress. During these visits, Crass always made sure to be in the living room and did most of the talking. Owen was quite happy with this setup since he felt uncomfortable speaking with someone like Sweater, who had a really annoying condescending tone and expected regular people to bow down to him and say "Sir" every other word. Crass, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy that sort of thing. He didn’t exactly crawl on the floor when Sweater addressed him, but he managed to give the impression that he would if asked.
Outside the house Bundy and his mates had dug deep trenches in the damp ground in which they were laying new drains. This work, like that of the painting of the inside of the house, was nearly completed. It was a miserable job. Owing to the fact that there had been a spell of bad weather the ground was sodden with rain and there was mud everywhere, the men’s clothing and boots being caked with it. But the worst thing about the job was the smell. For years the old drain-pipes had been defective and leaky. The ground a few feet below the surface was saturated with fetid moisture and a stench as of a thousand putrefying corpse emanated from the opened earth. The clothing of the men who were working in the trenches became saturated with this fearful odour, and for that matter, so did the men themselves.
Outside the house, Bundy and his friends had dug deep trenches in the wet ground where they were laying new drains. This work, like painting the inside of the house, was almost finished. It was a terrible job. Because of a stretch of bad weather, the ground was soaked with rain and there was mud everywhere, and the men's clothes and boots were covered in it. But the worst part of the job was the smell. For years, the old drain pipes had been faulty and leaking. The ground a few feet below the surface was soaked with foul moisture and a stench like a thousand rotting corpses came from the open earth. The clothes of the men working in the trenches were soaked with this awful odor, and so were the men themselves.
They said they could smell and taste it all the time, even when they were away from the work at home, and when they were at meals. Although they smoked their pipes all the time they were at work, Misery having ungraciously given them permission, several times Bundy and one or other of his mates were attacked with fits of vomiting.
They said they could smell and taste it all the time, even when they were at home away from work, and during meals. Even though they smoked their pipes constantly while working, with Misery having reluctantly given them permission, several times Bundy and one or another of his coworkers were hit with bouts of vomiting.
But, as they began to realize that the finish of the job was in sight, a kind of panic seized upon the hands, especially those who had been taken on last and who would therefore be the first to be “stood still”. Easton, however, felt pretty confident that Crass would do his best to get him kept on till the end of the job, for they had become quite chummy lately, usually spending a few evenings together at the Cricketers every week.
But as they started to see that the end of the job was near, a sense of panic spread among the workers, especially those who had joined last and would be the first to be let go. Easton, however, felt pretty sure that Crass would do everything he could to keep him on until the job was finished, since they had become quite friendly lately, often spending a few evenings together at the Cricketers each week.
“There’ll be a bloody slaughter ’ere soon,” remarked Harlow to Philpot one day as they were painting the banisters of the staircase. “I reckon next week will about finish the inside.”
“There’s going to be a bloody slaughter here soon,” Harlow told Philpot one day while they were painting the staircase banisters. “I think next week will just about wrap up the inside.”
“And the outside ain’t goin’ to take very long, you know,” replied Philpot.
“And the outside isn’t going to take very long, you know,” replied Philpot.
“They ain’t got no other work in, have they?”
“They don’t have any other work in, do they?”
“Not that I knows of,” replied Philpot gloomily; “and I don’t think anyone else has either.”
“Not that I know of,” replied Philpot gloomily; “and I don’t think anyone else does either.”
“You know that little place they call the ‘Kiosk’ down the Grand Parade, near the bandstand,” asked Harlow after a pause.
“You know that little spot they call the ‘Kiosk’ down the Grand Parade, close to the bandstand,” Harlow asked after a pause.
“Where they used to sell refreshments?”
“Where did they used to sell snacks?”
“Yes; it belongs to the Corporation, you know.”
“Yes, it belongs to the Corporation, you know.”
“It’s been closed up lately, ain’t it?”
“It’s been shut lately, hasn’t it?”
“Yes; the people who ’ad it couldn’t make it pay; but I ’eard last night that Grinder the fruit-merchant is goin’ to open it again. If it’s true, there’ll be a bit of a job there for someone, because it’ll ’ave to be done up.”
“Yes; the people who had it couldn’t make it profitable; but I heard last night that Grinder the fruit merchant is going to reopen it. If it’s true, there will be a job there for someone, because it will need to be renovated.”
“Well, I hope it does come orf,” replied Philpot. “It’ll be a job for some poor b—rs.”
“Well, I hope it does happen,” replied Philpot. “It’ll be a job for some poor bastards.”
“I wonder if they’ve started anyone yet on the venetian blinds for this ’ouse?” remarked Easton after a pause.
“I wonder if they’ve started working on the venetian blinds for this house yet?” Easton said after a pause.
“I don’t know,” replied Philpot.
“I don’t know,” Philpot replied.
They relapsed into silence for a while.
They fell silent for a while.
“I wonder what time it is?” said Philpot at length. “I don’t know ’ow you feel, but I begin to want my dinner.”
“I wonder what time it is?” Philpot said finally. “I don’t know how you feel, but I’m starting to want my dinner.”
“That’s just what I was thinking; it can’t be very far off it now. It’s nearly ’arf an hour since Bert went down to make the tea. It seems a ’ell of a long morning to me.”
"That's exactly what I was thinking; it can't be too far off now. It's been almost half an hour since Bert went to make the tea. It feels like a really long morning to me."
“So it does to me,” said Philpot; “slip upstairs and ask Slyme what time it is.”
“So it does to me,” said Philpot. “Go upstairs and ask Slyme what time it is.”
Harlow laid his brush across the top of his paint-pot and went upstairs. He was wearing a pair of cloth slippers, and walked softly, not wishing that Crass should hear him leaving his work, so it happened that without any intention of spying on Slyme, Harlow reached the door of the room in which the former was working without being heard and, entering suddenly, surprised Slyme—who was standing near the fireplace—in the act of breaking a whole roll of wallpaper across his knee as one might break a stick. On the floor beside him was what had been another roll, now broken into two pieces. When Harlow came in, Slyme started, and his face became crimson with confusion. He hastily gathered the broken rolls together and, stooping down, thrust the pieces up the flue of the grate and closed the register.
Harlow laid his brush over the top of his paint can and headed upstairs. He was wearing cloth slippers and walked softly, not wanting Crass to hear him leaving his work. So, without meaning to spy on Slyme, Harlow reached the door of the room where the latter was working without being noticed. When he entered suddenly, he caught Slyme—who was standing near the fireplace—in the act of breaking a whole roll of wallpaper across his knee like it was a stick. On the floor next to him was what had been another roll, now broken into two pieces. When Harlow walked in, Slyme jumped and his face turned bright red with embarrassment. He quickly gathered the broken rolls together and, bending down, shoved the pieces up the flue of the grate and closed the register.
“Wot’s the bloody game?” inquired Harlow.
“What's the bloody game?” Harlow asked.
Slyme laughed with an affectation of carelessness, but his hands trembled and his face was now very pale.
Slyme laughed in a way that seemed casual, but his hands shook and his face was now very pale.
“We must get our own back somehow, you know, Fred,” he said.
“We need to get our revenge somehow, you know, Fred,” he said.
Harlow did not reply. He did not understand. After puzzling over it for a few minutes, he gave it up.
Harlow didn't respond. He didn't get it. After thinking about it for a few minutes, he let it go.
“What’s the time?” he asked.
“What time is it?” he asked.
“Fifteen minutes to twelve,” said Slyme and added, as Harlow was going away: “Don’t mention anything about that paper to Crass or any of the others.”
“Fifteen minutes to twelve,” Slyme said and added, as Harlow was leaving: “Don’t say anything about that paper to Crass or the others.”
“I shan’t say nothing,” replied Harlow.
“I won’t say anything,” replied Harlow.
Gradually, as he pondered over it, Harlow began to comprehend the meaning of the destruction of the two rolls of paper. Slyme was doing the paperhanging piecework—so much for each roll hung. Four of the rooms upstairs had been done with the same pattern, and Hunter—who was not over-skilful in such matters—had evidently sent more paper than was necessary. By getting rid of these two rolls, Slyme would be able to make it appear that he had hung two rolls more than was really the case. He had broken the rolls so as to be able to take them away from the house without being detected, and he had hidden them up the chimney until he got an opportunity of so doing. Harlow had just arrived at this solution of the problem when, hearing the lower flight of stairs creaking, he peeped over and observed Misery crawling up. He had come to see if anyone had stopped work before the proper time. Passing the two workmen without speaking, he ascended to the next floor, and entered the room where Slyme was.
Gradually, as he thought it over, Harlow started to understand the significance of the destruction of the two rolls of paper. Slyme was taking on the paper-hanging piecework—getting paid for each roll he hung. Four of the rooms upstairs had been done with the same pattern, and Hunter—who wasn’t particularly skilled at this—had clearly sent more paper than necessary. By getting rid of these two rolls, Slyme could make it look like he had hung two rolls more than he actually had. He had torn the rolls apart to take them away from the house without being caught, and he had hidden them up the chimney until he found a chance to get rid of them. Harlow had just figured out this solution when he heard the lower flight of stairs creaking, and he peeked over to see Misery crawling up. He had come to check if anyone had stopped work before they were supposed to. Without saying a word to the two workers, he went up to the next floor and entered the room where Slyme was.
“You’d better not do this room yet,” said Hunter. “There’s to be a new grate and mantelpiece put in.”
“You shouldn’t work on this room yet,” said Hunter. “They’re going to install a new grate and mantelpiece.”
He crossed over to the fireplace and stood looking at it thoughtfully for a few minutes.
He walked over to the fireplace and stood there, staring at it thoughtfully for a few minutes.
“It’s not a bad little grate, you know, is it?” he remarked. “We’ll be able to use it somewhere or other.”
“It’s not a bad little grate, you know, is it?” he said. “We’ll be able to use it somewhere.”
“Yes; it’s all right,” said Slyme, whose heart was beating like a steam-hammer.
“Yes; it’s all good,” said Slyme, whose heart was pounding like a steam hammer.
“Do for a front room in a cottage,” continued Misery, stooping down to examine it more closely. “There’s nothing broke that I can see.”
“Would be great for a living room in a cottage,” continued Misery, bending down to take a closer look. “I don’t see anything broken.”
He put his hand against the register and vainly tried to push it open. “H’m, there’s something wrong ’ere,” he remarked, pushing harder.
He placed his hand on the vent and unsuccessfully tried to pry it open. “Hmm, something's not right here,” he said, pushing harder.
“Most likely a brick or some plaster fallen down,” gasped Slyme, coming to Misery’s assistance. “Shall I try to open it?”
“Most likely a brick or some plaster fell down,” gasped Slyme, rushing to help Misery. “Should I try to open it?”
“Don’t trouble,” replied Nimrod, rising to his feet. “It’s most likely what you say. I’ll see that the new grate is sent up after dinner. Bundy can fix it this afternoon and then you can go on papering as soon as you like.”
“Don’t worry,” replied Nimrod, getting up. “You’re probably right. I’ll make sure the new grate is sent up after dinner. Bundy can install it this afternoon, and then you can start papering whenever you want.”
With this, Misery went out of the room, downstairs and away from the house, and Slyme wiped the sweat from his forehead with his handkerchief. Then he knelt down and, opening the register, he took out the broken rolls of paper and hid them up the chimney of the next room. While he was doing this the sound of Crass’s whistle shrilled through the house.
With this, Misery left the room, went downstairs, and walked away from the house. Slyme wiped the sweat from his forehead with his handkerchief. Then he knelt down, opened the register, took out the torn rolls of paper, and hid them up the chimney in the next room. While he was doing this, Crass's whistle shrieked through the house.
“Thank Gord!” exclaimed Philpot fervently as he laid his brushes on the top of his pot and joined in the general rush to the kitchen. The scene here is already familiar to the reader. For seats, the two pairs of steps laid on their sides parallel to each other, about eight feet apart and at right angles to the fireplace, with the long plank placed across; and the upturned pails and the drawers of the dresser. The floor unswept and littered with dirt, scraps of paper, bits of plaster, pieces of lead pipe and dried mud; and in the midst, the steaming bucket of stewed tea and the collection of cracked cups, jam-jars and condensed milk tins. And on the seats the men in their shabby and in some cases ragged clothing sitting and eating their coarse food and cracking jokes.
“Thank God!” exclaimed Philpot excitedly as he set his brushes on top of his pot and joined in the rush to the kitchen. The scene here is already familiar to the reader. For seats, there are two pairs of steps laid on their sides, parallel to each other, about eight feet apart and at right angles to the fireplace, with a long plank placed across them; plus some upturned pails and the drawers of the dresser. The floor is unswept and littered with dirt, scraps of paper, bits of plaster, pieces of lead pipe, and dried mud; and in the middle, there’s a steaming bucket of stewed tea and a collection of cracked cups, jam jars, and condensed milk tins. On the seats, the men in their shabby and, in some cases, ragged clothes are sitting, eating their coarse food and cracking jokes.
It was a pathetic and wonderful and at the same time a despicable spectacle. Pathetic that human beings should be condemned to spend the greater part of their lives amid such surroundings, because it must be remembered that most of their time was spent on some job or other. When “The Cave” was finished they would go to some similar “job”, if they were lucky enough to find one. Wonderful, because although they knew that they did more than their fair share of the great work of producing the necessaries and comforts of life, they did not think they were entitled to a fair share of the good things they helped to create! And despicable, because although they saw their children condemned to the same life of degradation, hard labour and privation, yet they refused to help to bring about a better state of affairs. Most of them thought that what had been good enough for themselves was good enough for their children.
It was a sad, yet amazing, and at the same time a shameful sight. Sad because it’s tragic that people have to spend most of their lives in such conditions, especially since a lot of their time was spent working at some job or another. When "The Cave" was over, they would head off to some similar "job," if they were lucky enough to find one. Amazing, because even though they knew they contributed their fair share to producing the essentials and comforts of life, they didn’t believe they deserved a fair portion of the good things they helped create! And shameful, because even though they saw their kids doomed to the same life of hardship, tough labor, and lack, they still refused to help change things for the better. Most of them thought what was good enough for them was good enough for their kids.
It seemed as if they regarded their own children with a kind of contempt, as being only fit to grow up to be the servants of the children of such people as Rushton and Sweater. But it must be remembered that they had been taught self-contempt when they were children. In the so-called “Christian” schools they attended then they were taught to “order themselves lowly and reverently towards their betters”, and they were now actually sending their own children to learn the same degrading lessons in their turn! They had a vast amount of consideration for their betters, and for the children of their betters, but very little for their own children, for each other, or for themselves.
It felt like they viewed their own kids with a sort of disdain, believing they were only meant to grow up as servants for the kids of wealthy people like Rushton and Sweater. But it’s important to remember that they had learned to look down on themselves when they were young. In the so-called "Christian" schools they went to back then, they were taught to "behave humbly and respectfully toward their superiors," and now they were actually sending their own kids to learn the same humiliating lessons all over again! They had a lot of respect for their superiors and for the children of those superiors, but very little for their own kids, for each other, or for themselves.
That was why they sat there in their rags and ate their coarse food, and cracked their coarser jokes, and drank the dreadful tea, and were content! So long as they had Plenty of Work and plenty of—Something—to eat, and somebody else’s cast-off clothes to wear, they were content! And they were proud of it. They gloried in it. They agreed and assured each other that the good things of life were not intended for the “Likes of them”, or their children.
That’s why they sat there in their rags, eating their rough food, telling their rougher jokes, drinking the awful tea, and feeling satisfied! As long as they had plenty of work and enough—something—to eat, and someone else's discarded clothes to wear, they were happy! And they were proud of it. They reveled in it. They all agreed and reassured each other that the good things in life weren’t meant for “people like them” or their kids.
“Wot’s become of the Professor?” asked the gentleman who sat on the upturned pail in the corner, referring to Owen, who had not yet come down from his work.
"WWhat's happened to the Professor?" asked the man sitting on the overturned bucket in the corner, referring to Owen, who still hadn't come down from his work.
“P’raps ’e’s preparing ’is sermon,” remarked Harlow with a laugh.
“Maybe he’s getting ready for his sermon,” Harlow said with a laugh.
“We ain’t ’ad no lectures from ’im lately, since ’e’s been on that room,” observed Easton. “’Ave we?”
“We haven’t had any lectures from him lately, since he’s been on that room,” observed Easton. “Have we?”
“Dam good job too!” exclaimed Sawkins. “It gives me the pip to ’ear ’im, the same old thing over and over again.”
“Damn good job too!” exclaimed Sawkins. “It really annoys me to hear him, the same old thing over and over again.”
“Poor ole Frank,” remarked Harlow. “’E does upset ’isself about things, don’t ’e?”
“Poor old Frank,” Harlow commented. “He does get himself worked up about things, doesn’t he?”
“More fool ’im!” said Bundy. “I’ll take bloody good care I don’t go worryin’ myself to death like ’e’s doin’, about such dam rot as that.”
“More fool him!” said Bundy. “I’ll make sure I don’t stress myself to death like he is, worrying about such nonsense.”
“I do believe that’s wot makes ’im look so bad as ’e does,” observed Harlow. “Several times this morning I couldn’t help noticing the way ’e kept on coughing.”
“I really think that’s what makes him look so bad,” Harlow said. “Several times this morning, I couldn’t help but notice how he kept coughing.”
“I thought ’e seemed to be a bit better lately,” Philpot observed; “more cheerful and happier like, and more inclined for a bit of fun.”
“I thought he seemed to be a bit better lately,” Philpot observed; “more cheerful and happier, kind of, and more up for a bit of fun.”
“He’s a funny sort of chap, ain’t he?” said Bundy. “One day quite jolly, singing and cracking jokes and tellin’ yarns, and the next you can’t hardly get a word out of ’im.”
“He's a funny kind of guy, isn't he?” said Bundy. “One day he's all cheerful, singing and cracking jokes and telling stories, and the next you can barely get a word out of him.”
“Bloody rot, I call it,” chimed in the man on the pail. “Wot the ’ell’s the use of the likes of us troublin’ our ’eads about politics?”
“Bloody nonsense, I call it,” added the man on the bucket. “What’s the point of us worrying about politics?”
“Oh, I don’t see that.” replied Harlow. “We’ve got votes and we’re really the people what control the affairs of the country, so I reckon we ought to take SOME interest in it, but at the same time I can’t see no sense in this ’ere Socialist wangle that Owen’s always talkin’ about.”
“Oh, I don’t see that,” replied Harlow. “We have the votes, and we’re really the ones who control the country’s affairs, so I think we should take SOME interest in it. But at the same time, I don’t see any sense in this Socialist stuff that Owen’s always talking about.”
“Nor nobody else neither,” said Crass with a jeering laugh.
“Nor nobody else either,” said Crass with a mocking laugh.
“Even if all the bloody money in the world WAS divided out equal,” said the man on the pail, profoundly, “it wouldn’t do no good! In six months’ time it would be all back in the same ’ands again.”
“Even if all the damn money in the world was divided equally,” said the man on the pail, seriously, “it wouldn’t help at all! In six months, it would all be back in the same hands again.”
“Of course,” said everybody.
"Of course," everyone said.
“But ’e ’ad a cuff the other day about money bein’ no good at all!” observed Easton. “Don’t you remember ’e said as money was the principal cause of poverty?”
“But he had a fit the other day about how money is no good at all!” observed Easton. “Don’t you remember he said that money was the main cause of poverty?”
“So it is the principal cause of poverty,” said Owen, who entered at that moment.
“So that’s the main cause of poverty,” said Owen, who walked in at that moment.
“Hooray!” shouted Philpot, leading off a cheer which the others took up. “The Professor ’as arrived and will now proceed to say a few remarks.”
“Yay!” shouted Philpot, starting a cheer that the others picked up. “The Professor has arrived and will now share a few words.”
A roar of merriment greeted this sally.
A burst of laughter welcomed this outburst.
“Let’s ’ave our bloody dinner first, for Christ’s sake,” appealed Harlow, with mock despair.
“Let’s have our damn dinner first, for heaven's sake,” Harlow pleaded, with fake desperation.
As Owen, having filled his cup with tea, sat down in his usual place, Philpot rose solemnly to his feet, and, looking round the company, said:
As Owen, having poured himself a cup of tea, sat down in his regular spot, Philpot stood up seriously and, looking around at everyone, said:
“Genelmen, with your kind permission, as soon as the Professor ’as finished ’is dinner ’e will deliver ’is well-known lecture, entitled, ‘Money the Principal Cause of being ’ard up’, proving as money ain’t no good to nobody. At the hend of the lecture a collection will be took up to provide the lecturer with a little encouragement.” Philpot resumed his seat amid cheers.
“Gentlemen, with your kind permission, as soon as the Professor has finished his dinner, he will give his famous lecture titled, ‘Money the Main Reason for Being Broke,’ demonstrating that money isn’t really useful to anyone. At the end of the lecture, there will be a collection to give the lecturer a bit of support.” Philpot returned to his seat to cheers.
As soon as they had finished eating, some of the men began to make remarks about the lecture, but Owen only laughed and went on reading the piece of newspaper that his dinner had been wrapped in. Usually most of the men went out for a walk after dinner, but as it happened to be raining that day they were determined, if possible, to make Owen fulfill the engagement made in his name by Philpot.
As soon as they finished eating, some of the guys started making comments about the lecture, but Owen just laughed and kept reading the newspaper that his dinner had been wrapped in. Normally, most of the guys would go out for a walk after dinner, but since it was raining that day, they were determined to get Owen to honor the commitment Philpot made for him.
“Let’s ’oot ’im,” said Harlow, and the suggestion was at once acted upon; howls, groans and catcalls filled the air, mingled with cries of “Fraud!” “Imposter!” “Give us our money back!” “Let’s wreck the ’all!” and so on.
“Let’s get rid of him,” said Harlow, and the suggestion was immediately put into action; howls, groans, and catcalls filled the air, mixed with shouts of “Fraud!” “Imposter!” “Give us our money back!” “Let’s wreck the hall!” and so on.
“Come on ’ere,” cried Philpot, putting his hand on Owen’s shoulder. “Prove that money is the cause of poverty.”
“Come here,” shouted Philpot, placing his hand on Owen’s shoulder. “Prove that money is the reason for poverty.”
“It’s one thing to say it and another to prove it,” sneered Crass, who was anxious for an opportunity to produce the long-deferred Obscurer cutting.
“It’s one thing to say it and another to prove it,” sneered Crass, who was eager for a chance to bring out the long-delayed Obscurer cutting.
“Money IS the real cause of poverty,” said Owen.
“Money IS the real cause of poverty,” said Owen.
“Prove it,” repeated Crass.
"Prove it," Crass repeated.
“Money is the cause of poverty because it is the device by which those who are too lazy to work are enabled to rob the workers of the fruits of their labours.”
“Money is the reason for poverty because it allows those who are too lazy to work to take advantage of the workers and steal the rewards of their efforts.”
“Prove it,” said Crass.
"Prove it," said Crass.
Owen slowly folded up the piece of newspaper he had been reading and put it into his pocket.
Owen carefully folded the newspaper he had been reading and placed it in his pocket.
“All right,” he replied. “I’ll show you how the Great Money Trick is worked.”
“All right,” he replied. “I’ll show you how the Great Money Trick is done.”
Owen opened his dinner basket and took from it two slices of bread but as these were not sufficient, he requested that anyone who had some bread left would give it to him. They gave him several pieces, which he placed in a heap on a clean piece of paper, and, having borrowed the pocket knives they used to cut and eat their dinners with from Easton, Harlow and Philpot, he addressed them as follows:
Owen opened his dinner basket and took out two slices of bread, but as that wasn't enough, he asked anyone who had extra bread to share some with him. They gave him several pieces, which he piled up on a clean piece of paper. After borrowing the pocket knives from Easton, Harlow, and Philpot, he spoke to them like this:
“These pieces of bread represent the raw materials which exist naturally in and on the earth for the use of mankind; they were not made by any human being, but were created by the Great Spirit for the benefit and sustenance of all, the same as were the air and the light of the sun.”
“These pieces of bread symbolize the natural resources that exist in and on the earth for people to use; they weren't made by anyone, but were created by the Great Spirit for the benefit and nourishment of everyone, just like the air and sunlight.”
“You’re about as fair-speakin’ a man as I’ve met for some time,” said Harlow, winking at the others.
"You’re one of the most honest guys I've met in a while,” said Harlow, winking at the others.
“Yes, mate,” said Philpot. “Anyone would agree to that much! It’s as clear as mud.”
“Yes, buddy,” said Philpot. “Anyone would agree to that! It’s as clear as mud.”
“Now,” continued Owen, “I am a capitalist; or, rather, I represent the landlord and capitalist class. That is to say, all these raw materials belong to me. It does not matter for our present argument how I obtained possession of them, or whether I have any real right to them; the only thing that matters now is the admitted fact that all the raw materials which are necessary for the production of the necessaries of life are now the property of the Landlord and Capitalist class. I am that class: all these raw materials belong to me.”
“Now,” Owen continued, “I’m a capitalist; or more accurately, I represent the landlord and capitalist class. In other words, all these raw materials are mine. It doesn’t matter for our current discussion how I came to own them or whether I even have a legitimate claim to them; what’s important right now is the accepted fact that all the raw materials essential for producing the necessities of life belong to the landlord and capitalist class. I am that class: all these raw materials are mine.”
“Good enough!” agreed Philpot.
“Sounds good!” agreed Philpot.
“Now you three represent the Working class: you have nothing—and for my part, although I have all these raw materials, they are of no use to me—what I need is—the things that can be made out of these raw materials by Work: but as I am too lazy to work myself, I have invented the Money Trick to make you work FOR me. But first I must explain that I possess something else beside the raw materials. These three knives represent—all the machinery of production; the factories, tools, railways, and so forth, without which the necessaries of life cannot be produced in abundance. And these three coins’—taking three halfpennies from his pocket—“represent my Money Capital.”
“Now you three represent the working class: you have nothing—and as for me, even though I have all these raw materials, they’re useless to me—what I need are the things that can be made from these raw materials through work. But since I'm too lazy to work myself, I've come up with the Money Trick to make you work FOR me. However, I must first explain that I have something else besides the raw materials. These three knives represent all the machinery of production; the factories, tools, railways, and so on, without which we can't produce the essentials of life in abundance. And these three coins—taking three halfpennies from his pocket—represent my Money Capital.”
“But before we go any further,” said Owen, interrupting himself, “it is most important that you remember that I am not supposed to be merely ‘a’ capitalist. I represent the whole Capitalist Class. You are not supposed to be just three workers—you represent the whole Working Class.”
“But before we go any further,” Owen interrupted himself, “it’s really important for you to remember that I’m not just ‘a’ capitalist. I represent the entire Capitalist Class. You guys aren’t just three workers—you represent the whole Working Class.”
“All right, all right,” said Crass, impatiently, “we all understand that. Git on with it.”
“All right, all right,” Crass said impatiently, “we all get that. Just get on with it.”
Owen proceeded to cut up one of the slices of bread into a number of little square blocks.
Owen started chopping one of the slices of bread into several small square pieces.
“These represent the things which are produced by labour, aided by machinery, from the raw materials. We will suppose that three of these blocks represent—a week’s work. We will suppose that a week’s work is worth—one pound: and we will suppose that each of these ha’pennies is a sovereign. We’d be able to do the trick better if we had real sovereigns, but I forgot to bring any with me.”
“These represent the things produced by labor, supported by machinery, from raw materials. Let's say that three of these blocks represent a week's work. We'll assume that a week's work is worth one pound, and that each of these halfpennies is a sovereign. We could illustrate this better with real sovereigns, but I forgot to bring any with me.”
“I’d lend you some,” said Philpot, regretfully, “but I left me purse on our grand pianner.”
“I’d lend you some,” said Philpot, sadly, “but I left my wallet on our grand piano.”
As by a strange coincidence nobody happened to have any gold with them, it was decided to make shift with the halfpence.
As it turned out, nobody had any gold with them, so they decided to make do with the pennies.
“Now this is the way the trick works—”
“Now this is how the trick works—”
“Before you goes on with it,” interrupted Philpot, apprehensively, “don’t you think we’d better ’ave someone to keep watch at the gate in case a Slop comes along? We don’t want to get runned in, you know.”
“Before you go on with it,” interrupted Philpot, nervously, “don’t you think we should have someone keep an eye on the gate in case a Slop shows up? We don’t want to get caught, you know.”
“I don’t think there’s any need for that,” replied Owen, “there’s only one slop who’d interfere with us for playing this game, and that’s Police Constable Socialism.”
“I don’t think that’s necessary,” replied Owen, “there’s only one person who’d butt in on us playing this game, and that’s Officer Socialism.”
“Never mind about Socialism,” said Crass, irritably. “Get along with the bloody trick.”
“Forget about Socialism,” Crass said irritably. “Just get on with the damn trick.”
Owen now addressed himself to the working classes as represented by Philpot, Harlow and Easton.
Owen now spoke to the working class as represented by Philpot, Harlow, and Easton.
“You say that you are all in need of employment, and as I am the kind-hearted capitalist class I am going to invest all my money in various industries, so as to give you Plenty of Work. I shall pay each of you one pound per week, and a week’s work is—you must each produce three of these square blocks. For doing this work you will each receive your wages; the money will be your own, to do as you like with, and the things you produce will of course be mine, to do as I like with. You will each take one of these machines and as soon as you have done a week’s work, you shall have your money.”
“You say that you all need jobs, and since I’m the generous member of the capitalist class, I’m going to invest all my money in different industries to provide you with plenty of work. I will pay each of you one pound per week, and for a week’s work, you each need to produce three of these square blocks. For completing this work, you’ll receive your wages; the money will be yours to spend however you want, and the things you produce will, of course, belong to me, for me to use as I wish. You’ll each take one of these machines, and as soon as you’ve completed a week’s work, you’ll get your money.”
The Working Classes accordingly set to work, and the Capitalist class sat down and watched them. As soon as they had finished, they passed the nine little blocks to Owen, who placed them on a piece of paper by his side and paid the workers their wages.
The Working Classes got to work, while the Capitalist class just sat back and watched. Once they were done, they handed the nine small blocks to Owen, who set them down on a piece of paper next to him and paid the workers their wages.
“These blocks represent the necessaries of life. You can’t live without some of these things, but as they belong to me, you will have to buy them from me: my price for these blocks is—one pound each.”
“These blocks represent the essentials of life. You can’t survive without some of these things, but since they belong to me, you’ll have to buy them from me: my price for these blocks is—one pound each.”
As the working classes were in need of the necessaries of life and as they could not eat, drink or wear the useless money, they were compelled to agree to the kind Capitalist’s terms. They each bought back and at once consumed one-third of the produce of their labour. The capitalist class also devoured two of the square blocks, and so the net result of the week’s work was that the kind capitalist had consumed two pounds worth of the things produced by the labour of the others, and reckoning the squares at their market value of one pound each, he had more than doubled his capital, for he still possessed the three pounds in money and in addition four pounds worth of goods. As for the working classes, Philpot, Harlow and Easton, having each consumed the pound’s worth of necessaries they had bought with their wages, they were again in precisely the same condition as when they started work—they had nothing.
As the working class needed the essentials of life and couldn’t eat, drink, or wear useless money, they were forced to accept the generous capitalist's terms. They each bought back and immediately consumed one-third of what they produced. The capitalist also consumed two of the square blocks, so the net result of the week’s work was that the generous capitalist had consumed two pounds worth of the goods produced by the labor of others. Valuing the squares at their market price of one pound each, he had more than doubled his capital; he still had three pounds in cash and an additional four pounds worth of goods. As for the working class—Philpot, Harlow, and Easton—they had each consumed the pound's worth of essentials they bought with their wages, leaving them in exactly the same situation as when they began working—they had nothing.
This process was repeated several times: for each week’s work the producers were paid their wages. They kept on working and spending all their earnings. The kind-hearted capitalist consumed twice as much as any one of them and his pile of wealth continually increased. In a little while—reckoning the little squares at their market value of one pound each—he was worth about one hundred pounds, and the working classes were still in the same condition as when they began, and were still tearing into their work as if their lives depended upon it.
This process happened over and over again: for every week’s work, the producers got paid. They kept working and spending all their earnings. The generous capitalist consumed twice as much as any of them, and his wealth kept growing. Before long—counting the small squares at their market value of one pound each—he was worth around one hundred pounds, while the working class remained in the same situation as when they started, still throwing themselves into their work as if their lives depended on it.
After a while the rest of the crowd began to laugh, and their merriment increased when the kind-hearted capitalist, just after having sold a pound’s worth of necessaries to each of his workers, suddenly took their tools—the Machinery of Production—the knives away from them, and informed them that as owing to Over Production all his store-houses were glutted with the necessaries of life, he had decided to close down the works.
After a while, the rest of the crowd started laughing, and their excitement grew when the kind-hearted businessman, just after selling a pound of essentials to each of his workers, suddenly took their tools—the Machinery of Production—their knives away from them, and told them that because of overproduction, all his warehouses were overflowing with the necessities of life, he had decided to shut down the factory.
“Well, and wot the bloody ’ell are we to do now?” demanded Philpot.
“Well, what the hell are we supposed to do now?” asked Philpot.
“That’s not my business,” replied the kind-hearted capitalist. “I’ve paid you your wages, and provided you with Plenty of Work for a long time past. I have no more work for you to do at present. Come round again in a few months’ time and I’ll see what I can do for you.”
“That's not my problem,” replied the kind-hearted business owner. “I've paid you your wages and given you plenty of work for a long time. Right now, I don’t have any more work for you. Come back in a few months, and I’ll see what I can do for you.”
“But what about the necessaries of life?” demanded Harlow. “We must have something to eat.”
“But what about the essentials of life?” Harlow asked. “We need to have something to eat.”
“Of course you must,” replied the capitalist, affably; “and I shall be very pleased to sell you some.”
“Of course you must,” the capitalist said cheerfully; “and I’d be very happy to sell you some.”
“But we ain’t got no bloody money!”
“But we don't have any damn money!”
“Well, you can’t expect me to give you my goods for nothing! You didn’t work for me for nothing, you know. I paid you for your work and you should have saved something: you should have been thrifty like me. Look how I have got on by being thrifty!”
“Well, you can’t expect me to give you my stuff for free! You didn’t work for me for free, you know. I paid you for your work and you should have saved something: you should have been frugal like me. Look how well I’ve done by being frugal!”
The unemployed looked blankly at each other, but the rest of the crowd only laughed; and then the three unemployed began to abuse the kind-hearted Capitalist, demanding that he should give them some of the necessaries of life that he had piled up in his warehouses, or to be allowed to work and produce some more for their own needs; and even threatened to take some of the things by force if he did not comply with their demands. But the kind-hearted Capitalist told them not to be insolent, and spoke to them about honesty, and said if they were not careful he would have their faces battered in for them by the police, or if necessary he would call out the military and have them shot down like dogs, the same as he had done before at Featherstone and Belfast.
The unemployed stared at each other in confusion, while the rest of the crowd just laughed; then the three unemployed started to shout at the kind-hearted Capitalist, demanding that he give them some of the essentials he had stored away in his warehouses or let them work to earn what they needed; they even threatened to take what they wanted by force if he didn’t meet their demands. But the kind-hearted Capitalist told them not to be disrespectful, lectured them about honesty, and warned that if they weren't careful, he would have the police beat them up, or, if necessary, he would call in the military and have them shot down like dogs, just like he had done before in Featherstone and Belfast.
“Of course,” continued the kind-hearted capitalist, “if it were not for foreign competition I should be able to sell these things that you have made, and then I should be able to give you Plenty of Work again: but until I have sold them to somebody or other, or until I have used them myself, you will have to remain idle.”
“Of course,” continued the kind-hearted businessman, “if it weren't for foreign competition, I would be able to sell these things you made, and then I could give you plenty of work again. But until I sell them to someone or use them myself, you'll have to stay idle.”
“Well, this takes the bloody biskit, don’t it?” said Harlow.
“Well, this takes the damn biscuit, doesn’t it?” said Harlow.
“The only thing as I can see for it,” said Philpot mournfully, “is to ’ave a unemployed procession.”
“The only thing I can think of,” Philpot said sadly, “is to hold an unemployed march.”
“That’s the idear,” said Harlow, and the three began to march about the room in Indian file, singing:
“That’s the idea,” said Harlow, and the three started to march around the room in single file, singing:
“We’ve got no work to do-oo-oo”
We’ve got no work to do-oo-oo!
Just because we’ve been workin’ a dam sight too hard,
Now we’ve got no work to do.”
“We’ve got no work to do-oo-oo”
We’ve got no work to do-oo-oo!
Just because we’ve been working way too hard,
Now we’ve got no work to do.”
As they marched round, the crowd jeered at them and made offensive remarks. Crass said that anyone could see that they were a lot of lazy, drunken loafers who had never done a fair day’s work in their lives and never intended to.
As they marched around, the crowd mocked them and made rude comments. Crass said that anyone could tell they were just a bunch of lazy, drunk slackers who had never put in an honest day’s work in their lives and never planned to.
“We shan’t never get nothing like this, you know,” said Philpot. “Let’s try the religious dodge.”
“We're never going to get anything like this, you know,” said Philpot. “Let's try the religious angle.”
“All right,” agreed Harlow. “What shall we give ’em?”
“All right,” agreed Harlow. “What should we give them?”
“I know!” cried Philpot after a moment’s deliberation. “‘Let my lower lights be burning.’ That always makes ’em part up.”
“I know!” shouted Philpot after thinking for a moment. “‘Let my lower lights be burning.’ That always makes them split up.”
The three unemployed accordingly resumed their march round the room, singing mournfully and imitating the usual whine of street-singers:
The three unemployed then continued their march around the room, singing sadly and mimicking the familiar whine of street performers:
“Trim your fee-bil lamp me brither-in,
Some poor sail-er tempest torst,
Strugglin’ ’ard to save the ’arb-er,
Hin the dark-niss may be lorst,
So let my lower lights be burning,
Send ’er gleam acrost the wave,
Some poor shipwrecked, struggling seaman,
You may rescue, you may save.”
“Trim your lighthouse lamp, my brother,
Some poor sailor is tossed by the storm,
Struggling hard to save the harbor,
In the darkness, he may be lost,
So let my lower lights be burning,
Send their gleam across the wave,
Some poor shipwrecked, struggling sailor,
You might rescue, you might save.”
“Kind frens,” said Philpot, removing his cap and addressing the crowd, “we’re hall honest British workin’ men, but we’ve been hout of work for the last twenty years on account of foreign competition and over-production. We don’t come hout ’ere because we’re too lazy to work; it’s because we can’t get a job. If it wasn’t for foreign competition, the kind’earted Hinglish capitalists would be able to sell their goods and give us Plenty of Work, and if they could, I assure you that we should hall be perfectly willing and contented to go on workin’ our bloody guts out for the benefit of our masters for the rest of our lives. We’re quite willin’ to work: that’s hall we arst for—Plenty of Work—but as we can’t get it we’re forced to come out ’ere and arst you to spare a few coppers towards a crust of bread and a night’s lodgin’.”
“Kind friends,” said Philpot, taking off his hat and addressing the crowd, “we’re all honest British working men, but we’ve been out of work for the last twenty years because of foreign competition and overproduction. We’re not here because we’re too lazy to work; it’s because we can’t find a job. If it weren’t for foreign competition, the kind-hearted English capitalists would be able to sell their goods and provide us with plenty of work, and if they could, I assure you we would all be willing and happy to work our butts off for the benefit of our bosses for the rest of our lives. We’re completely willing to work: that’s all we ask for—plenty of work—but since we can’t get it, we’re forced to come out here and ask you to spare a few coins for a bit of bread and a night's lodging.”
As Philpot held out his cap for subscriptions, some of them attempted to expectorate into it, but the more charitable put in pieces of cinder or dirt from the floor, and the kind-hearted capitalist was so affected by the sight of their misery that he gave them one of the sovereigns he had in his pocket: but as this was of no use to them they immediately returned it to him in exchange for one of the small squares of the necessaries of life, which they divided and greedily devoured. And when they had finished eating they gathered round the philanthropist and sang, “For he’s a jolly good fellow,” and afterwards Harlow suggested that they should ask him if he would allow them to elect him to Parliament.
As Philpot held out his hat for donations, some people tried to spit into it, but the more generous ones dropped in bits of coal or dirt from the floor. The kind-hearted capitalist was so moved by their suffering that he gave them one of the gold coins he had in his pocket. But since it wasn't useful to them, they quickly returned it in exchange for one of the small squares of essential goods, which they shared and eagerly ate. Once they finished eating, they gathered around the philanthropist and sang, “For he’s a jolly good fellow,” and then Harlow suggested they should ask him if he would let them elect him to Parliament.
Chapter 22
The Phrenologist
The following morning—Saturday—the men went about their work in gloomy silence; there were but few attempts at conversation and no jests or singing. The terror of the impending slaughter pervaded the house. Even those who were confident of being spared and kept on till the job was finished shared the general depression, not only out of sympathy for the doomed, but because they knew that a similar fate awaited themselves a little later on.
The next morning—Saturday—the men carried on with their work in a heavy silence; there were only a few half-hearted attempts at conversation and no jokes or singing. The dread of the upcoming slaughter filled the house. Even those who believed they would be safe and continued working until the task was done felt the overall gloom, not just out of sympathy for those about to die, but because they were aware that a similar fate awaited them soon after.
They all waited anxiously for Nimrod to come, but hour after hour dragged slowly by and he did not arrive. At half past eleven some of those who had made up their minds that they were to be “stood still” began to hope that the slaughter was to be deferred for a few days: after all, there was plenty of work still to be done: even if all hands were kept on, the job could scarcely be finished in another week. Anyhow, it would not be very long now before they would know one way or the other. If he did not come before twelve, it was all right: all the hands were paid by the hour and were therefore entitled to an hour’s notice.
They all waited anxiously for Nimrod to arrive, but hour after hour crawled by and he still didn’t show up. By 11:30, some of those who had convinced themselves they were going to be “stood still” began to hope that the slaughter would be postponed for a few days: after all, there was still plenty of work to do; even if everyone stayed on, it would barely be finished in another week. Anyway, it wouldn’t be long before they found out one way or the other. If he didn’t show up by noon, it was fine: all the workers were paid by the hour and were entitled to an hour's notice.
Easton and Harlow were working together on the staircase, finishing the doors and other woodwork with white enamel. The men had not been allowed to spend the time necessary to prepare this work in a proper manner, it had not been rubbed down smooth or properly filled up, and it had not had a sufficient number of coats of paint to make it solid white. Now that the glossy enamel was put on, the work looked rather rough and shady.
Easton and Harlow were working together on the staircase, finishing the doors and other woodwork with white enamel. The men hadn’t been given enough time to prepare this work properly; it hadn’t been smoothed out or filled in correctly, and it hadn’t received enough coats of paint to look solid white. Now that the glossy enamel was applied, the work looked pretty rough and uneven.
“It ain’t ’arf all right, ain’t it?” remarked Harlow, sarcastically, indicating the door he had just finished.
“It’s not half bad, is it?” Harlow said sarcastically, pointing to the door he had just finished.
Easton laughed: “I can’t understand how people pass such work,” he said.
Easton laughed, "I don’t get how people can get away with such work," he said.
“Old Sweater did make some remark about it the other day,” replied Harlow, “and I heard Misery tell ’im it was impossible to make a perfect job of such old doors.”
“Old Sweater did say something about it the other day,” Harlow replied, “and I heard Misery tell him it was impossible to do a perfect job on such old doors.”
“I believe that man’s the biggest liar Gord ever made,” said Easton, an opinion in which Harlow entirely concurred.
“I think man is the biggest liar Gord ever created,” said Easton, a view that Harlow completely agreed with.
“I wonder what the time is?” said the latter after a pause.
“I wonder what time it is?” said the other one after a pause.
“I don’t know exactly,” replied Easton, “but it can’t be far off twelve.”
“I’m not sure exactly,” Easton replied, “but it can’t be too far from twelve.”
“’E don’t seem to be comin’, does ’e?” Harlow continued.
" doesn’t look like he’s coming, does he?" Harlow continued.
“No: and I shouldn’t be surprised if ’e didn’t turn up at all, now. P’raps ’e don’t mean to stop nobody today after all.”
“No: and I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t show up at all now. Maybe he doesn’t intend to stop anyone today after all.”
They spoke in hushed tones and glanced cautiously about them fearful of being heard or observed.
They talked quietly and looked around nervously, afraid of being heard or seen.
“This is a bloody life, ain’t it?” Harlow said, bitterly. “Workin’ our guts out like a lot of slaves for the benefit of other people, and then as soon as they’ve done with you, you’re chucked aside like a dirty rag.”
“This is a tough life, isn’t it?” Harlow said, bitterly. “Working our asses off like a bunch of slaves for the benefit of other people, and then as soon as they’re done with you, you’re thrown aside like a used rag.”
“Yes: and I begin to think that a great deal of what Owen says is true. But for my part I can’t see ’ow it’s ever goin’ to be altered, can you?”
“Yes: and I'm starting to believe that a lot of what Owen says is true. But for me, I can’t see how it’s ever going to change, can you?”
“Blowed if I know, mate. But whether it can be altered or not, there’s one thing very certain; it won’t be done in our time.”
“Blowed if I know, mate. But whether it can be changed or not, there’s one thing that’s very certain; it won’t be done in our time.”
Neither of them seemed to think that if the “alteration” they spoke of were to be accomplished at all they themselves would have to help to bring it about.
Neither of them seemed to believe that if the "change" they were talking about was going to happen at all, they would have to play a part in making it happen.
“I wonder what they’re doin’ about the venetian blinds?” said Easton. “Is there anyone doin’ em yet?”
“I wonder what they’re doing about the venetian blinds?” said Easton. “Is anyone working on them yet?”
“I don’t know; ain’t ’eard nothing about ’em since the boy took ’em to the shop.”
“I don’t know; I haven’t heard anything about them since the boy took them to the shop.”
There was quite a mystery about these blinds. About a month ago they were taken to the paint-shop down at the yard to be repainted and re-harnessed, and since then nothing had been heard of them by the men working at the “Cave”.
There was quite a mystery surrounding these blinds. About a month ago, they were sent to the paint shop in the yard to be repainted and re-harnessed, and since then, the guys working at the “Cave” hadn’t heard a thing about them.
“P’hap’s a couple of us will be sent there to do ’em next week,” remarked Harlow.
“Maybe a couple of us will be sent there to take care of them next week,” Harlow said.
“P’hap’s so. Most likely they’ll ’ave to be done in a bloody ’urry at the last minute.”
“Probably. Most likely they’ll have to be done in a rush at the last minute.”
Presently Harlow—who was very anxious to know what time it was—went downstairs to ask Slyme. It was twenty minutes to twelve.
Presently, Harlow—who was really eager to find out what time it was—went downstairs to ask Slyme. It was twenty minutes to twelve.
From the window of the room where Slyme was papering, one could see into the front garden. Harlow paused a moment to watch Bundy and the labourers, who were still working in the trenches at the drains, and as he looked out he saw Hunter approaching the house. Harlow drew back hastily and returned to his work, and as he went he passed the word to the other men, warning them of the approach of Misery.
From the window of the room where Slyme was putting up wallpaper, you could see into the front garden. Harlow stopped for a moment to watch Bundy and the workers, who were still digging in the trenches for the drains, and as he looked out, he noticed Hunter walking towards the house. Harlow quickly stepped back and got back to his work, and as he did, he whispered to the other men, alerting them about Misery coming.
Hunter entered in his usual manner and, after crawling quietly about the house for about ten minutes, he went into the drawing room.
Hunter entered in his usual way and, after quietly moving around the house for about ten minutes, he went into the living room.
“I see you’re putting the finishing touches on at last,” he said.
“I see you’re finally wrapping things up,” he said.
“Yes,” replied Owen. “I’ve only got this bit of outlining to do now.”
“Yes,” replied Owen. “I just have this little bit of outlining to finish now.”
“Ah, well, it looks very nice, of course,” said Misery in a voice of mourning, “but we’ve lost money over it. It’s taken you a week longer to do than we allowed for; you said three weeks and it’s taken you a month; and we only allowed for fifteen books of gold, but you’ve been and used twenty-three.”
“Ah, well, it looks great, of course,” said Misery in a mournful tone, “but we’ve lost money on it. It took you a week longer than we planned; you said three weeks, and it took you a month; we only budgeted for fifteen books of gold, but you went ahead and used twenty-three.”
“You can hardly blame me for that, you know,” answered Owen. “I could have got it done in the three weeks, but Mr Rushton told me not to hurry for the sake of a day or two, because he wanted a good job. He said he would rather lose a little over it than spoil it; and as for the extra gold, that was also his order.”
“You can’t really blame me for that, you know,” Owen replied. “I could have finished it in three weeks, but Mr. Rushton told me not to rush for just a day or two because he wanted it done well. He said he’d rather lose a bit of time than mess it up; and about the extra gold, that was his request too.”
“Well, I suppose it can’t be helped,” whined Misery. “Anyhow, I’m very glad it’s done, because this kind of work don’t pay. We’ll ’ave you back on the brush on Monday morning; we want to get outside done next week if it keeps fine.”
“Well, I guess it can't be helped,” complained Misery. “Anyway, I’m really glad it’s done because this kind of work doesn’t pay. We’ll have you back painting on Monday morning; we want to get the outside done next week if the weather stays nice.”
The “brush” alluded to by Nimrod was the large “pound” brush used in ordinary painting.
The "brush" mentioned by Nimrod was the large "pound" brush used in regular painting.
Misery now began wandering about the house, in and out of the rooms, sometimes standing for several minutes silently watching the hands as they worked. As he watched them the men became nervous and awkward, each one dreading that he might be one of those who were to be paid off at one o’clock.
Misery started moving around the house, going in and out of the rooms, sometimes standing silently for several minutes, watching the hands as they worked. As he observed them, the men became anxious and uncomfortable, each one fearing that they might be one of the ones to be paid off at one o’clock.
At about five minutes to twelve Hunter went down to the paint-shop—the scullery—where Crass was mixing some colour, and getting ready some “empties” to be taken to the yard.
At around five minutes to twelve, Hunter went down to the paint shop—the scullery—where Crass was mixing some color and preparing some "empties" to be taken to the yard.
“I suppose the b—r’s gone to ask Crass which of us is the least use,” whispered Harlow to Easton.
“I guess the b—r’s gone to ask Crass which of us is the least useful,” whispered Harlow to Easton.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if it was you and me, for two,” replied the latter in the same tone. “You can’t trust Crass you know, for all ’e seems so friendly to our faces. You never know what ’e ses behind our backs.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if it was just the two of us,” replied the other in the same tone. “You can’t trust Crass, you know, even though he seems so friendly to our faces. You never know what he says behind our backs.”
“You may be sure it won’t be Sawkins or any of the other light-weights, because Nimrod won’t want to pay us sixpence ha’penny for painting guttering and rainpipes when THEY can do it near enough for fourpence ha’penny and fivepence. They won’t be able to do the sashes, though, will they?”
“You can be sure it won’t be Sawkins or any of the other low-level guys, because Nimrod isn’t going to pay us six and a half pence for painting the guttering and downspouts when THEY can do it for about four pence or five. But they won’t be able to do the sashes, right?”
“I don’t know so much about that,” replied Easton. “Anything seems to be good enough for Hunter.”
“I don’t really know about that,” Easton replied. “Anything seems to be good enough for Hunter.”
“Look out! Ere ’e comes!” said Harlow, and they both relapsed into silence and busied themselves with their work. Misery stood watching them for some time without speaking, and then went out of the house. They crept cautiously to the window of a room that overlooked the garden and, peeping furtively out, they saw him standing on the brink of one of the trenches, moodily watching Bundy and his mates as they toiled at the drains. Then, to their surprise and relief, he turned and went out of the gate! They just caught sight of one of the wheels of his bicycle as he rode away.
“Watch out! Here he comes!” said Harlow, and they both fell silent and focused on their work. Misery stood watching them for a while without saying anything, and then left the house. They moved cautiously to the window of a room that overlooked the garden and, peeking out, they saw him standing at the edge of one of the trenches, moodily observing Bundy and his friends as they worked on the drains. Then, to their surprise and relief, he turned and left through the gate! They barely caught a glimpse of one of the wheels of his bicycle as he rode away.
The slaughter was evidently to be put off until next week! It seemed too good to be true.
The slaughter was clearly going to be postponed until next week! It felt too good to be true.
“P’hap’s ’e’s left a message for some of us with Crass?” suggested Easton. “I don’t think it’s likely, but it’s just possible.”
“Maybe he left a message for some of us with Crass?” suggested Easton. “I don’t think it’s likely, but it’s possible.”
“Well, I’m goin’ down to ask ’im,” said Harlow, desperately. “We may as well know the worst at once.”
“Well, I’m going to ask him,” said Harlow, desperately. “We might as well know the worst right away.”
He returned in a few minutes with the information that Hunter had decided not to stop anyone that day because he wanted to get the outside finished during the next week, if possible.
He came back a few minutes later with the news that Hunter had chosen not to stop anyone that day because he wanted to finish the outside by next week, if he could.
The hands received this intelligence with mixed feelings, because although it left them safe for the present, it meant that nearly everybody would certainly be stopped next Saturday, if not before; whereas if a few had been sacked today it would have made it all the better for the rest. Still, this aspect of the business did not greatly interfere with the relief that they all felt at knowing that the immediate danger was over; and the fact that it was Saturday—pay-day—also served to revive their drooping spirits. They all felt pretty certain that Misery would return no more that day, and presently Harlow began to sing the old favourite, “Work! for the night is coming!” the refrain of which was soon taken up by nearly everyone in the house:
The hands received this news with mixed emotions, because while it kept them safe for now, it meant that almost everyone would definitely be stopped next Saturday, if not sooner; whereas if a few had been fired today, it would have been better for the rest. Still, this part of the situation didn’t really overshadow the relief they all felt from knowing that the immediate threat was gone; and the fact that it was Saturday—payday—also helped lift their spirits. They all felt pretty sure that Misery wouldn’t come back that day, and soon Harlow started singing the old favorite, “Work! for the night is coming!” which was quickly joined by nearly everyone in the house:
“Work! for the night is coming,
Work in the morning hours.
Work! for the night is coming,
Work ’mid springing flowers.
“Work while the dew is sparkling,
Work in the noonday sun!
Work! for the night is coming
When man’s work is done!”
“Work! for the night is coming,
Work in the morning hours.
Work! for the night is coming,
Work among blooming flowers.
“Work while the dew is shining,
Work in the midday sun!
Work! for the night is coming
When man’s work is done!”
When this hymn was finished, someone else, imitating the whine of a street-singer, started, “Oh, where is my wandering boy tonight?” and then Harlow—who by some strange chance had a penny—took it out of his pocket and dropped it on the floor, the ringing of the coin being greeted with shouts of “Thank you, kind lady,” from several of the singers. This little action of Harlow’s was the means of bringing a most extraordinary circumstance to light. Although it was Saturday morning, several of the others had pennies or half-pence! and at the conclusion of each verse they all followed Harlow’s example and the house resounded with the ringing of falling coins, cries of “Thank you, kind lady,” “Thank you, sir,” and “Gord bless you,” mingled with shouts of laughter.
When this hymn was done, someone else, mimicking the whine of a street singer, started, “Oh, where is my wandering boy tonight?” Then Harlow—who, for some strange reason, had a penny—pulled it out of his pocket and dropped it on the floor. The sound of the coin hitting the ground was met with shouts of “Thank you, kind lady,” from several of the singers. This small act by Harlow revealed something quite extraordinary. Even though it was Saturday morning, some of the others had pennies or half-pennies! At the end of each verse, they all followed Harlow’s lead, and the place filled with the sound of coins falling, mixed with cries of “Thank you, kind lady,” “Thank you, sir,” and “God bless you,” along with bursts of laughter.
“My wandering boy” was followed by a choice selection of choruses of well-known music-hall songs, including “Goodbye, my Bluebell”, “The Honeysuckle and the Bee”, “I’ve got ’em!” and “The Church Parade”, the whole being tastefully varied and interspersed with howls, shrieks, curses, catcalls, and downward explosions of flatulence.
“My wandering boy” was followed by a carefully chosen mix of popular music-hall songs, including “Goodbye, my Bluebell,” “The Honeysuckle and the Bee,” “I’ve got ’em!” and “The Church Parade,” all tastefully varied and mixed with howls, shrieks, curses, catcalls, and loud flatulence.
In the midst of the uproar Crass came upstairs.
In the middle of the chaos, Crass came upstairs.
“’Ere!” he shouted. “For Christ’s sake make less row! Suppose Nimrod was to come back!”
“Hey!” he shouted. “For God’s sake, be quieter! What if Nimrod comes back?”
“Oh, he ain’t comin’ any more today,” said Harlow, recklessly.
“Oh, he’s not coming anymore today,” said Harlow, carelessly.
“Besides, what if ’e does come?” cried Easton. ’Oo cares for ’im?”
“Besides, what if he does show up?” shouted Easton. “Who cares about him?”
“Well, we never know; and for that matter Rushton or Sweater might come at any minit.”
“Well, we never know; and for that matter, Rushton or Sweater might show up at any minute.”
With this, Crass went muttering back to the scullery, and the men relapsed into their usual silence.
With that, Crass muttered back to the kitchen, and the men fell back into their usual silence.
At ten minutes to one they all ceased work, put away their colours and locked up the house. There were a number of ’empties” to be taken away and left at the yard on their way to the office; these Crass divided amongst the others—carrying nothing himself—and then they all set out for the office to get their money, cracking jokes as they went along. Harlow and Easton enlivened the journey by coughing significantly whenever they met a young woman, and audibly making some complimentary remark about her personal appearance. If the girl smiled, each of them eagerly claimed to have “seen her first”, but if she appeared offended or “stuck up”, they suggested that she was cross-cut or that she had been eating vinegar with a fork. Now and then they kissed their hands affectionately to servant-girls whom they saw looking out of windows. Some of these girls laughed, others looked indignant, but whichever way they took it was equally amusing to Crass and the rest, who were like a crowd of boys just let out of school.
At ten minutes to one, they all stopped working, put away their paint, and locked up the house. There were a few empty bottles to be taken back and left at the yard on their way to the office; Crass distributed these among the others—carrying nothing himself—and then they all headed to the office to collect their pay, joking as they walked. Harlow and Easton made the trip more entertaining by coughing pointedly whenever they saw a young woman and making loud compliments about her looks. If the girl smiled, each one eagerly claimed to have “seen her first,” but if she looked offended or “stuck up,” they suggested that she was cross-eyed or had been eating vinegar with a fork. Occasionally, they blew kisses to maidens they saw looking out of windows. Some of these girls laughed, while others looked annoyed, but no matter how they reacted, it was equally funny to Crass and the others, who were like a bunch of boys just released from school.
It will be remembered that there was a back door to Rushton’s office; in this door was a small sliding panel or trap-door with a little shelf at the bottom. The men stood in the road on the pavement outside the closed door, their money being passed out to them through the sliding panel. As there was no shelter, when it rained they occasionally got wet through while waiting to be paid. With some firms it is customary to call out the names of the men and pay them in order of seniority or ability, but there was no such system here; the man who got to the aperture first was paid first, and so on. The result was that there was always a sort of miniature “Battle of Life”, the men pushing and struggling against each other as if their lives depended upon their being paid by a certain time.
It’s important to note that there was a back door to Rushton’s office; in this door was a small sliding panel or trap-door with a little shelf at the bottom. The men stood outside the closed door on the pavement, waiting for their money to be passed out to them through the sliding panel. Without any shelter, they occasionally got wet while waiting to be paid when it rained. With some companies, it's typical to call out the names of the workers and pay them based on seniority or skill, but that wasn’t the case here; the man who reached the opening first got paid first, and so on. As a result, there was always a kind of miniature "Battle of Life," with the men pushing and struggling against each other as if their lives depended on getting paid at a certain time.
On the ledge of the little window through which their money was passed there was always a Hospital collection-box. Every man put either a penny or twopence into this box. Of course, it was not compulsory to do so, but they all did, because they felt that any man who omitted to contribute might be “marked”. They did not all agree with contributing to the Hospital, for several reasons. They knew that the doctors at the Hospital made a practice of using the free patients to make experiments upon, and they also knew that the so-called “free” patients who contribute so very largely directly to the maintenance of such institutions, get scant consideration when they apply for the “free” treatment, and are plainly given to understand that they are receiving “charity”. Some of the men thought that, considering the extent to which they contributed, they should be entitled to attention as a right.
On the ledge of the small window where their money was passed, there was always a hospital donation box. Every guy dropped in either a penny or two pence. It wasn't mandatory, but everyone did it because they felt that anyone who didn’t contribute might be “marked.” Not everyone agreed with donating to the hospital for several reasons. They knew that the doctors at the hospital often used the free patients for experiments, and they also knew that the so-called “free” patients who contributed a lot to the upkeep of such places received very little consideration when they sought “free” treatment, and were made to feel as if they were getting “charity.” Some of the men thought that given how much they contributed, they should be entitled to care as a right.
After receiving their wages, Crass, Easton, Bundy, Philpot, Harlow and a few others adjourned to the Cricketers for a drink. Owen went away alone, and Slyme also went on by himself. There was no use waiting for Easton to come out of the public house, because there was no knowing how long he would be; he might stay half an hour or two hours.
After getting their pay, Crass, Easton, Bundy, Philpot, Harlow, and a few others headed over to the Cricketers for a drink. Owen walked off by himself, and Slyme also went on his own. There was no point in waiting for Easton to come out of the pub, as it was impossible to know how long he'd be; he could be in there for half an hour or two hours.
On his way home, in accordance with his usual custom, Slyme called at the Post Office to put some of his wages in the bank. Like most other “Christians”, he believed in taking thought for the morrow, what he should eat and drink and wherewithal he was to be clothed. He thought it wise to layup for himself as much treasure upon earth as possible. The fact that Jesus said that His disciples were not to do these things made no more difference to Slyme’s conduct than it does to the conduct of any other “Christian”. They are all agreed that when Jesus said this He meant something else: and all the other inconvenient things that Jesus said are disposed of in the same way. For instance, these “disciples” assure us that when Jesus said, “Resist not evil”, “If a man smite thee upon the right cheek turn unto him also the left”, He really meant “Turn on to him a Maxim gun; disembowel him with a bayonet or batter in his skull with the butt end of a rifle!” When He said, “If one take thy coat, give him thy cloak also,” the “Christians” say that what He really meant was: “If one take thy coat, give him six months’ hard labour.” A few of the followers of Jesus admit that He really did mean just what He said, but they say that the world would never be able to go on if they followed out His teachings! That is true. It is probably the effect that Jesus intended His teachings to produce. It is altogether improbable that He wished the world to continue along its present lines. But, if these pretended followers really think—as they say that they do—that the teachings of Jesus are ridiculous and impracticable, why continue the hypocritical farce of calling themselves “Christians” when they don’t really believe in or follow Him at all?
On his way home, as he usually did, Slyme stopped by the Post Office to deposit some of his paycheck into the bank. Like most other "Christians," he believed in worrying about the future—what he would eat and drink and how he would be clothed. He thought it was smart to accumulate as much wealth on earth as he could. The fact that Jesus said His disciples shouldn't do these things didn't change Slyme's behavior any more than it affects any other "Christian." They all agree that when Jesus said this, He meant something different: and all the other inconvenient things Jesus said are dismissed in the same manner. For example, these "disciples" tell us that when Jesus said, "Resist not evil," or "If a man smites you on the right cheek, turn to him the left," He really meant, "Fight back with a machine gun; stab him with a bayonet or smash his skull with a rifle!" When He said, "If someone takes your coat, give them your cloak as well," the "Christians" interpret it as: "If someone takes your coat, make them do six months of hard labor." A few followers of Jesus admit that He actually meant what He said, but they argue that the world couldn't function if they followed His teachings! That’s true. It’s likely the effect Jesus intended His teachings to have. It's hard to believe He wanted the world to keep going as it currently does. But if these so-called followers truly believe—as they claim—that Jesus' teachings are absurd and unworkable, why keep up the hypocritical act of calling themselves "Christians" when they don't genuinely believe in or follow Him at all?
As Jesus himself pointed out, there’s no sense in calling Him “Lord, Lord” when they do not the things that He said.
As Jesus himself pointed out, there’s no point in calling Him “Lord, Lord” when they don’t do what He said.
This banking transaction finished, Slyme resumed his homeward way, stopping only to purchase some sweets at a confectioner’s. He spent a whole sixpence at once in this shop on a glass jar of sweets for the baby.
This banking transaction completed, Slyme continued on his way home, stopping only to buy some candy at a candy store. He spent a whole sixpence at once in this shop on a glass jar of sweets for the baby.
Ruth was not surprised when she saw him come in alone; it was the usual thing since Easton had become so friendly with Crass.
Ruth wasn't surprised when she saw him walk in alone; it was the norm ever since Easton became so friendly with Crass.
She made no reference to his absence, but Slyme noticed with secret chagrin that she was annoyed and disappointed. She was just finishing scrubbing the kitchen floor and little Freddie was sitting up in a baby’s high chair that had a little shelf or table fixed in front of it. To keep him amused while she did her work, Ruth had given him a piece of bread and raspberry jam, which the child had rubbed all over his face and into his scalp, evidently being under the impression that it was something for the improvement of the complexion, or a cure for baldness. He now looked as if he had been in a fight or a railway accident. The child hailed the arrival of Slyme with enthusiasm, being so overcome with emotion that he began to shed tears, and was only pacified when the man gave him the jar of sweets and took him out of the chair.
She didn't mention his absence, but Slyme couldn't help but notice with secret disappointment that she was annoyed. She was just finishing scrubbing the kitchen floor while little Freddie sat up in a high chair that had a small table attached to it. To keep him entertained while she worked, Ruth had given him a piece of bread with raspberry jam, which the child had smeared all over his face and into his hair, clearly thinking it was some sort of beauty treatment or cure for baldness. He now looked like he had just been in a fight or a train wreck. The child greeted Slyme's arrival with excitement, so overwhelmed with emotion that he started to cry, and he was only calmed down when the man handed him the jar of sweets and lifted him out of the chair.
Slyme’s presence in the house had not proved so irksome as Easton and Ruth had dreaded it would be. Indeed, at first, he made a point of retiring to his own room after tea every evening, until they invited him to stay downstairs in the kitchen. Nearly every Wednesday and Saturday he went to a meeting, or an open-air preaching, when the weather permitted, for he was one of a little zealous band of people connected with the Shining Light Chapel who carried on the “open-air” work all the year round. After a while, the Eastons not only became reconciled to his presence in the house, but were even glad of it. Ruth especially would often have been very lonely if he had not been there, for it had lately become Easton’s custom to spend a few evenings every week with Crass at the Cricketers.
Slyme’s presence in the house turned out to be less annoying than Easton and Ruth had feared. In fact, at first, he made it a point to head to his own room after tea every evening until they invited him to stay downstairs in the kitchen. Almost every Wednesday and Saturday, he attended a meeting or an outdoor preaching session, weather permitting, because he was part of a small enthusiastic group connected with the Shining Light Chapel that carried out the “open-air” work year-round. Over time, the Eastons not only got used to having him around but even appreciated it. Ruth, in particular, would often have felt quite lonely if he hadn’t been there, since it had recently become Easton’s routine to spend several evenings each week with Crass at the Cricketers.
When at home Slyme passed his time playing a mandolin or making fretwork photo frames. Ruth had the baby’s photograph taken a few weeks after Slyme came, and the frame he made for it was now one of the ornaments of the sitting-room. The instinctive, unreasoning aversion she had at first felt for him had passed away. In a quiet, unobtrusive manner he did her so many little services that she found it impossible to dislike him. At first, she used to address him as “Mr” but after a time she fell naturally into Easton’s practice of calling him by his first name.
When at home, Slyme spent his time playing the mandolin or making decorative photo frames. Ruth had the baby's picture taken a few weeks after Slyme arrived, and the frame he crafted for it was now one of the decorations in the living room. The instinctive dislike she initially felt for him had faded. In a quiet, unassuming way, he helped her with so many little things that she found it impossible to dislike him. At first, she referred to him as "Mr." but over time, she naturally began calling him by his first name, just like Easton did.
As for the baby, he made no secret of his affection for the lodger, who nursed and played with him for hours at a stretch.
As for the baby, he was open about his affection for the lodger, who cared for and played with him for hours on end.
“I’ll serve your dinner now, Alf,” said Ruth when she had finished scrubbing the floor, “but I’ll wait for mine for a little while. Will may come.”
“I’ll serve your dinner now, Alf,” said Ruth after she finished scrubbing the floor, “but I’ll hold off on mine for a little while. Will might come.”
“I’m in no hurry,” replied Slyme. “I’ll go and have a wash; he may be here then.”
“I’m not in a rush,” replied Slyme. “I’ll go wash up; he might be here by then.”
As he spoke, Slyme—who had been sitting by the fire nursing the baby—who was trying to swallow the jar of sweets—put the child back into the high chair, giving him one of the sticks of sweet out of the jar to keep him quiet; and went upstairs to his own room. He came down again in about a quarter of an hour, and Ruth proceeded to serve his dinner, for Easton was still absent.
As he talked, Slyme—who had been sitting by the fire taking care of the baby—who was trying to eat the jar of candies—put the child back into the high chair, giving him one of the candy sticks from the jar to keep him quiet; and went upstairs to his own room. He came back down after about fifteen minutes, and Ruth began to serve his dinner, since Easton was still gone.
“If I was you, I wouldn’t wait for Will,” said Slyme, “he may not come for another hour or two. It’s after two o’clock now, and I’m sure you must be hungry.”
“If I were you, I wouldn’t wait for Will,” said Slyme, “he might not show up for another hour or two. It’s past two o’clock now, and I’m sure you must be hungry.”
“I suppose I may as well,” replied Ruth, hesitatingly. “He’ll most likely get some bread and cheese at the ‘Cricketers’, same as he did last Saturday.”
“I guess I might as well,” Ruth said, hesitantly. “He’ll probably grab some bread and cheese at the ‘Cricketers’, just like he did last Saturday.”
“Almost sure to,” responded Slyme.
“Pretty much,” responded Slyme.
The baby had had his face washed while Slyme was upstairs. Directly he saw his mother eating he threw away the sugar-stick and began to cry, holding out his arms to her. She had to take him on her lap whilst she ate her dinner, and feed him with pieces from her plate.
The baby had his face cleaned while Slyme was upstairs. As soon as he saw his mom eating, he tossed the sugar stick aside and started to cry, reaching out for her. She had to hold him on her lap while she ate her dinner and feed him bits from her plate.
Slyme talked all the time, principally about the child. He was very fond of children, he said, and always got on well with them, but he had really never known such an intelligent child—for his age—as Freddie. His fellow-workmen would have been astonished had they been present to hear him talking about the shape of the baby’s head. They would have been astonished at the amount of knowledge he appeared to possess of the science of Phrenology. Ruth, at any rate, thought he was very clever.
Slyme talked non-stop, mainly about the kid. He claimed to love kids and always got along with them, but he had never encountered such a smart child—especially for his age—as Freddie. His co-workers would have been shocked if they had heard him discussing the shape of the baby’s head. They would have been surprised by how much he seemed to know about the science of Phrenology. Ruth, at least, thought he was really clever.
After a time the child began to grow fretful and refused to eat; when his mother gave him a fresh piece of sugar-stick out of the jar he threw it peevishly on the floor and began to whimper, rubbing his face against his mother’s bosom and pulling at her dress with his hands. When Slyme first came Ruth had made a practice of withdrawing from the room if he happened to be present when she wanted to nurse the child, but lately she had been less sensitive. She was sitting with her back to the window and she partly covered the baby’s face with a light shawl that she wore. By the time they finished dinner the child had dozed off to sleep. Slyme got up from his chair and stood with his back to the fire, looking down at them; presently he spoke, referring, of course, to the baby:
After a while, the child started to get cranky and refused to eat; when his mother offered him a fresh piece of candy from the jar, he sulkily threw it on the floor and started to whimper, rubbing his face against his mother’s chest and tugging at her dress with his hands. When Slyme first arrived, Ruth usually stepped out of the room if he was there when she wanted to nurse the child, but lately she had been less concerned about it. She was sitting with her back to the window and partly covered the baby’s face with a light shawl she was wearing. By the time they finished dinner, the child had fallen asleep. Slyme got up from his chair and stood with his back to the fire, looking down at them; eventually, he spoke, referring, of course, to the baby:
“He’s very like you, isn’t he?”
“He’s a lot like you, isn’t he?”
“Yes,” replied Ruth. “Everyone says he takes after me.”
“Yes,” replied Ruth. “Everyone says he looks like me.”
Slyme moved a little closer, bending down to look at the slumbering infant.
Slyme moved a bit closer, leaning down to see the sleeping baby.
“You know, at first I thought he was a girl,” he continued after a pause. “He seems almost too pretty for a boy, doesn’t he?”
“You know, at first I thought he was a girl,” he continued after a pause. “He seems almost too pretty for a guy, doesn’t he?”
Ruth smiled. “People always take him for a girl at first,” she said. “Yesterday I took him with me to the Monopole Stores to buy some things, and the manager would hardly believe it wasn’t a girl.”
Ruth smiled. “People always mistake him for a girl at first,” she said. “Yesterday I took him with me to the Monopole Stores to buy some stuff, and the manager could hardly believe he wasn’t a girl.”
The man reached out his hand and stroked the baby’s face.
The man reached out his hand and gently touched the baby’s face.
Although Slyme’s behaviour had hitherto always been very correct, yet there was occasionally an indefinable something in his manner when they were alone that made Ruth feel conscious and embarrassed. Now, as she glanced up at him and saw the expression on his face she crimsoned with confusion and hastily lowered her eyes without replying to his last remark. He did not speak again either, and they remained for several minutes in silence, as if spellbound, Ruth oppressed with instinctive dread, and Slyme scarcely less agitated, his face flushed and his heart beating wildly. He trembled as he stood over her, hesitating and afraid.
Although Slyme’s behavior had always been very proper before, there was sometimes an unexplainable feeling in his demeanor when they were alone that made Ruth feel self-conscious and awkward. Now, as she looked up at him and saw the expression on his face, she blushed with embarrassment and quickly lowered her eyes without answering his last comment. He didn’t speak again either, and they stayed silent for several minutes, as if under a spell, with Ruth feeling a deep sense of dread, and Slyme equally shaken, his face flushed and his heart racing. He trembled as he stood over her, hesitating and fearful.
And then the silence was suddenly broken by the creaking and clanging of the front gate, heralding the tardy coming of Easton. Slyme went out into the scullery and, taking down the blacking brushes from the shelf, began cleaning his boots.
And then the silence was suddenly interrupted by the creaking and clanging of the front gate, announcing the late arrival of Easton. Slyme went into the scullery and, taking the blacking brushes down from the shelf, started cleaning his boots.
It was plain from Easton’s appearance and manner that he had been drinking, but Ruth did not reproach him in any way; on the contrary, she seemed almost feverishly anxious to attend to his comfort.
It was obvious from Easton’s look and behavior that he had been drinking, but Ruth didn't blame him at all; instead, she seemed almost desperately eager to make sure he was comfortable.
When Slyme finished cleaning his boots he went upstairs to his room, receiving a careless greeting from Easton as he passed through the kitchen. He felt nervous and apprehensive that Ruth might say something to Easton, and was not quite able to reassure himself with the reflection that, after all, there was nothing to tell. As for Ruth, she had to postpone the execution of her hastily formed resolution to tell her husband of Slyme’s strange behaviour, for Easton fell asleep in his chair before he had finished his dinner, and she had some difficulty in waking him sufficiently to persuade him to go upstairs to bed, where he remained until tea-time. Probably he would not have come down even then if it had not been for the fact that he had made an appointment to meet Crass at the Cricketers.
When Slyme finished cleaning his boots, he went upstairs to his room, receiving a casual greeting from Easton as he passed through the kitchen. He felt nervous and worried that Ruth might say something to Easton, and he couldn’t quite reassure himself with the thought that, after all, there was nothing to reveal. As for Ruth, she had to delay her suddenly formed decision to tell her husband about Slyme’s odd behavior, since Easton fell asleep in his chair before finishing his dinner, and she struggled to wake him enough to convince him to go upstairs to bed, where he stayed until tea-time. He probably wouldn’t have come down even then if it hadn’t been for the fact that he had made plans to meet Crass at the Cricketers.
Whilst Easton was asleep, Slyme had been downstairs in the kitchen, making a fretwork frame. He played with Freddie while Ruth prepared the tea, and he appeared to her to be so unconscious of having done anything unusual that she began to think that she must have been mistaken in imagining that he had intended anything wrong.
While Easton was asleep, Slyme had been downstairs in the kitchen, making a decorative frame. He played with Freddie while Ruth prepared the tea, and he seemed so unaware of having done anything out of the ordinary that she started to think she must have been wrong to imagine he had any bad intentions.
After tea, Slyme put on his best clothes to go to his usual “open-air” meeting. As a rule Easton and Ruth went out marketing together every Saturday night, but this evening he could not wait for her because he had promised to meet Crass at seven o’clock; so he arranged to see her down town at eight.
After tea, Slyme got dressed in his best clothes to head to his regular “outdoor” meeting. Normally, Easton and Ruth went grocery shopping together every Saturday night, but tonight he couldn’t wait for her because he had promised to meet Crass at seven o’clock; so he planned to meet her downtown at eight.
Chapter 23
The “Open-air”
During the last few weeks ever since he had been engaged on the decoration of the drawing-room, Owen had been so absorbed in his work that he had no time for other things. Of course, all he was paid for was the time he actually worked, but really every waking moment of his time was given to the task. Now that it was finished he felt something like one aroused from a dream to the stern realities and terrors of life. By the end of next week, the inside of the house and part of the outside would be finished, and as far as he knew the firm had nothing else to do at present. Most of the other employers in the town were in the same plight, and it would be of no use to apply even to such of them as had something to do, for they were not likely to take on a fresh man while some of their regular hands were idle.
Over the past few weeks, since he started decorating the living room, Owen had become so immersed in his work that he had no time for anything else. He was only paid for the actual hours he worked, but truly every waking moment was dedicated to the job. Now that it was done, he felt like someone waking from a dream to face the harsh realities and fears of life. By the end of next week, the inside of the house and part of the outside would be complete, and as far as he knew, the company had no other projects lined up. Most of the other employers in town were in the same situation, and it would be pointless to apply to those who had work available because they were unlikely to hire someone new while their regular workers were still waiting for tasks.
For the last month he had forgotten that he was ill; he had forgotten that when the work at “The Cave” was finished he would have to stand off with the rest of the hands. In brief, he had forgotten for the time being that, like the majority of his fellow workmen, he was on the brink of destitution, and that a few weeks of unemployment or idleness meant starvation. As far as illness was concerned, he was even worse off than most others, for the greater number of them were members of some sick benefit club, but Owen’s ill-health rendered him ineligible for membership of such societies.
For the past month, he had completely forgotten that he was sick; he had forgotten that once the work at “The Cave” was done, he would have to step back along with the other workers. In short, he had temporarily forgotten that, like most of his coworkers, he was on the edge of poverty, and that just a few weeks without work or any income could mean starvation. When it came to his illness, he was even worse off than many others, since most of them were part of some kind of sick benefit club, but Owen’s poor health made him ineligible for membership in those organizations.
As he walked homewards after being paid, feeling unutterably depressed and weary, he began once more to think of the future; and the more he thought of it the more dreadful it appeared. Even looking at it in the best possible light—supposing he did not fall too ill to work, or lose his employment from some other cause—what was there to live for? He had been working all this week. These few coins that he held in his hand were the result, and he laughed bitterly as he thought of all they had to try to do with this money, and of all that would have to be left undone.
As he walked home after being paid, feeling completely depressed and exhausted, he started to think about the future again; and the more he considered it, the more terrifying it seemed. Even if he looked at it in the best possible way—assuming he didn’t get too sick to work or lose his job for some other reason—what was there to live for? He had been working all week. These few coins in his hand were the result, and he laughed bitterly as he thought about everything they would have to do with this money, and everything that would have to be left undone.
As he turned the corner of Kerk Street he saw Frankie coming to meet him, and the boy catching sight of him at the same moment began running and leapt into his arms with a joyous whoop.
As he turned the corner of Kerk Street, he saw Frankie approaching, and the boy, noticing him at the same time, started running and jumped into his arms with a happy shout.
“Mother told me to tell you to buy something for dinner before you come home, because there’s nothing in the house.”
“Mom asked me to tell you to pick up something for dinner on your way home because there’s nothing in the house.”
“Did she tell you what I was to get?”
“Did she tell you what I was supposed to get?”
“She did tell me something, but I forget what it was. But I know she said to get anything you like if you couldn’t get what she told me to tell you.”
“She did tell me something, but I can’t remember what it was. But I know she said to get anything you want if you couldn’t get what she asked me to tell you.”
“Well, we’ll go and see what we can find,” said Owen.
“Well, let’s go see what we can find,” said Owen.
“If I were you, I’d get a tin of salmon or some eggs and bacon,” suggested Frankie as he skipped along holding his father’s hand. “We don’t want anything that’s a lot of trouble to cook, you know, because Mum’s not very well today.”
“If I were you, I’d grab a can of salmon or some eggs and bacon,” suggested Frankie as he skipped along holding his dad’s hand. “We don’t want anything that’s too complicated to cook, you know, since Mom’s not feeling great today.”
“Is she up?”
"Is she awake?"
“She’s been up all the morning, but she’s lying down now. We’ve done all the work, though. While she was making the beds I started washing up the cups and saucers without telling her, but when she came in and saw what a mess I’d made on the floor, she had to stop me doing it, and she had to change nearly all my clothes as well, because I was almost wet through; but I managed the wiping up all right when she did the washing, and I swept the passage and put all my things tidy and made the cat’s bed. And that just reminds me: will you please give me my penny now? I promised the cat that I’d bring him back some meat.”
“She’s been up all morning, but she’s lying down now. We’ve done all the work, though. While she was making the beds, I started washing the cups and saucers without telling her, but when she came in and saw the mess I’d made on the floor, she had to stop me, and she had to change almost all my clothes too because I was nearly soaked; but I managed the wiping up just fine when she did the washing, and I swept the hallway and tidied up all my things and made the cat’s bed. And that reminds me: can you please give me my penny now? I promised the cat that I’d bring him back some meat.”
Owen complied with the boy’s request, and while the latter went to the butcher’s for the meat, Owen went into the grocer’s to get something for dinner, it being arranged that they were to meet again at the corner of the street. Owen was at the appointed place first and after waiting some time and seeing no sign of the boy he decided to go towards the butcher’s to meet him. When he came in sight of the shop he saw the boy standing outside in earnest conversation with the butcher, a jolly-looking stoutly built man, with a very red face. Owen perceived at once that the child was trying to explain something, because Frankie had a habit of holding his head sideways and supplementing his speech by spreading out his fingers and making quaint gestures with his hands whenever he found it difficult to make himself understood. The boy was doing this now, waving one hand about with the fingers and thumb extended wide, and with the other flourishing a paper parcel which evidently contained the pieces of meat. Presently the man laughed heartily and after shaking hands with Frankie went into the shop to attend to a customer, and Frankie rejoined his father.
Owen agreed to the boy’s request, and while the boy went to the butcher’s for the meat, Owen headed into the grocer’s to pick up something for dinner. They had arranged to meet again at the corner of the street. Owen got to the meeting spot first and after waiting for a while without seeing the boy, he decided to walk toward the butcher’s to meet him. As he approached the shop, he saw the boy standing outside, having an intense conversation with the butcher, a cheerful, stocky man with a very red face. Owen quickly noticed that the boy was trying to explain something because Frankie had a habit of tilting his head and using his hands to gesture in unique ways whenever he struggled to get his point across. The boy was doing just that now, waving one hand around with his fingers and thumb spread wide, while the other hand held up a paper parcel that clearly contained the meat. Soon, the man laughed heartily and after shaking hands with Frankie, went into the shop to help a customer, and Frankie rejoined his father.
“That butcher’s a very decent sort of chap, you know, Dad,” he said. “He wouldn’t take a penny for the meat.”
“That butcher’s a really good guy, you know, Dad,” he said. “He wouldn’t charge anything for the meat.”
“Is that what you were talking to him about?”
“Is that what you were discussing with him?”
“No; we were talking about Socialism. You see, this is the second time he wouldn’t take the money, and the first time he did it I thought he must be a Socialist, but I didn’t ask him then. But when he did it again this time I asked him if he was. So he said, No. He said he wasn’t quite mad yet. So I said, ‘If you think that Socialists are all mad, you’re very much mistaken, because I’m a Socialist myself, and I’m quite sure I’M not mad.’ So he said he knew I was all right, but he didn’t understand anything about Socialism himself—only that it meant sharing out all the money so that everyone could have the same. So then I told him that’s not Socialism at all! And when I explained it to him properly and advised him to be one, he said he’d think about it. So I said if he’d only do that he’d be sure to change over to our side; and then he laughed and promised to let me know next time he sees me, and I promised to lend him some literature. You won’t mind, will you, Dad?”
“No; we were talking about Socialism. This is the second time he wouldn’t take the money, and the first time he did it, I thought he must be a Socialist, but I didn’t ask him then. When he did it again this time, I asked him if he was. He said no. He said he wasn’t quite mad yet. So I replied, ‘If you think that Socialists are all mad, you’ve got it very wrong, because I’m a Socialist myself, and I’m sure I’m not mad.’ He said he knew I was okay, but he didn’t understand anything about Socialism—only that it meant sharing all the money so everyone could have the same. I told him that’s not Socialism at all! When I explained it to him properly and suggested he consider being one, he said he’d think about it. I told him that if he did that, he’d definitely switch over to our side; then he laughed and promised to let me know the next time he sees me, and I promised to lend him some reading material. You won’t mind, will you, Dad?”
“Of course not; when we get home we’ll have a look through what we’ve got and you can take him some of them.”
“Of course not; when we get home, we’ll go through what we have, and you can take some of them to him.”
“I know!” cried Frankie eagerly. “The two very best of all. Happy Britain and England for the English.”
“I know!” Frankie exclaimed excitedly. “The two absolute best: Happy Britain and England for the English.”
He knew that these were “two of the best” because he had often heard his father and mother say so, and he had noticed that whenever a Socialist friend came to visit them, he was also of the same opinion.
He knew these were “two of the best” because he had often heard his parents say so, and he had noticed that whenever a Socialist friend came to visit, they agreed too.
As a rule on Saturday evenings they all three went out together to do the marketing, but on this occasion, in consequence of Nora being unwell, Owen and Frankie went by themselves. The frequent recurrence of his wife’s illness served to increase Owen’s pessimism with regard to the future, and the fact that he was unable to procure for her the comforts she needed was not calculated to dispel the depression that filled his mind as he reflected that there was no hope of better times.
As a rule, on Saturday evenings, the three of them went out together to do the grocery shopping, but this time, since Nora was feeling unwell, Owen and Frankie went alone. The regular occurrence of his wife’s illnesses made Owen more pessimistic about the future, and the fact that he couldn’t provide her with the comforts she needed only added to the gloom he felt as he realized there was no hope for better days ahead.
In the majority of cases, for a workman there is no hope of advancement. After he has learnt his trade and become a “journeyma” all progress ceases. He is at the goal. After he has been working ten or twenty years he commands no more than he did at first—a bare living wage—sufficient money to purchase fuel to keep the human machine working. As he grows older he will have to be content with even less; and all the time he holds his employment at the caprice and by the favour of his masters, who regard him merely as a piece of mechanism that enables them to accumulate money—a thing which they are justified in casting aside as soon as it becomes unprofitable. And the workman must not only be an efficient money-producing machine, but he must also be the servile subject of his masters. If he is not abjectly civil and humble, if he will not submit tamely to insult, indignity, and every form of contemptuous treatment that occasion makes possible, he can be dismissed, and replaced in a moment by one of the crowd of unemployed who are always waiting for his job. This is the status of the majority of the “Heirs of all the ages” under the present system.
In most cases, workers have little hope of getting ahead. Once they learn their trade and become a “journeyman,” their progress halts. They reach their peak. After ten or twenty years of work, they earn no more than they did at the start—a meager wage—just enough to buy fuel to keep themselves going. As they age, they may have to settle for even less; and all the while, they hold their jobs at the whim and favor of their employers, who see them as just a mechanism that helps them make money—a thing they can easily discard as soon as it stops being profitable. Workers must not only be efficient money-making machines, but they also have to be submissive to their employers. If they aren’t overly polite and humble, if they won’t endure insults, humiliation, and every possible form of contempt, they can be fired and quickly replaced by someone from the endless line of unemployed waiting for their position. This is the reality for most of the “Heirs of all the ages” in today’s system.
As he walked through the crowded streets holding Frankie by the hand, Owen thought that to voluntarily continue to live such a life as this betokened a degraded mind. To allow one’s child to grow up to suffer it in turn was an act of callous, criminal cruelty.
As he walked through the packed streets, holding Frankie’s hand, Owen thought that choosing to keep living a life like this showed a degraded mindset. Letting your child grow up to experience the same suffering was an act of heartless, criminal cruelty.
In this matter he held different opinions from most of his fellow workmen. The greater number of them were quite willing and content that their children should be made into beasts of burden for the benefit of other people. As he looked down upon the little, frail figure trotting along by his side, Owen thought for the thousandth time that it would be far better for the child to die now: he would never be fit to be a soldier in the ferocious Christian Battle of Life.
In this matter, he had different opinions from most of his coworkers. The majority of them were perfectly fine with their children being turned into laborers for the benefit of others. As he looked down at the tiny, delicate figure walking beside him, Owen thought for the thousandth time that it would be much better for the child to die now: he would never be fit to be a soldier in the brutal Christian Battle of Life.
Then he remembered Nora. Although she was always brave, and never complained, he knew that her life was one of almost incessant physical suffering; and as for himself he was tired and sick of it all. He had been working like a slave all his life and there was nothing to show for it—there never would be anything to show for it. He thought of the man who had killed his wife and children. The jury had returned the usual verdict, “Temporary Insanity”. It never seemed to occur to these people that the truth was that to continue to suffer hopelessly like this was evidence of permanent insanity.
Then he remembered Nora. Although she was always brave and never complained, he knew her life was filled with almost constant physical pain; as for himself, he was exhausted and fed up with it all. He had been working like a dog his entire life, and there was nothing to show for it—there would never be anything to show for it. He thought about the man who had killed his wife and kids. The jury had given the usual verdict, “Temporary Insanity.” It never seemed to cross their minds that the real truth was that continuing to suffer hopelessly like this was a sign of permanent insanity.
But supposing that bodily death was not the end. Suppose there was some kind of a God? If there were, it wasn’t unreasonable to think that the Being who was capable of creating such a world as this and who seemed so callously indifferent to the unhappiness of His creatures, would also be capable of devising and creating the other Hell that most people believed in.
But what if physical death wasn’t the end? What if there was some kind of God? If there were, it wouldn’t be crazy to think that the Being who could create a world like this and seemed so uncaring about the suffering of His creatures could also be capable of imagining and creating the other Hell that most people believed in.
Although it was December the evening was mild and clear. The full moon deluged the town with silvery light, and the cloudless sky was jewelled with myriads of glittering stars.
Although it was December, the evening was warm and clear. The full moon bathed the town in silvery light, and the clear sky was adorned with countless sparkling stars.
Looking out into the unfathomable infinity of space, Owen wondered what manner of Being or Power it was that had originated and sustained all this? Considered as an explanation of the existence of the universe, the orthodox Christian religion was too absurd to merit a second thought. But then, every other conceivable hypothesis was also—ultimately—unsatisfactory and even ridiculous. To believe that the universe as it is now has existed from all eternity without any Cause is surely ridiculous. But to say that it was created by a Being who existed without a Cause from all eternity is equally ridiculous. In fact, it was only postponing the difficulty one stage. Evolution was not more satisfactory, because although it was undoubtedly true as far as it went, it only went part of the way, leaving the great question still unanswered by assuming the existence—in the beginning—of the elements of matter, without a cause! The question remained unanswered because it was unanswerable. Regarding this problem man was but—
Looking out into the endless expanse of space, Owen wondered what kind of Being or Force had created and maintained all of this. As an explanation for the existence of the universe, traditional Christian beliefs seemed too absurd to take seriously. However, every other possible explanation was ultimately unsatisfactory and even laughable. To think that the universe has existed forever without any Cause is surely absurd. But claiming it was created by a Being that itself has existed without a Cause for all eternity is just as absurd. In fact, that just pushes the problem back one step. Evolution doesn’t fully satisfy either because, while it's clearly true to some extent, it only explains part of the story, leaving the major question unanswered by assuming the existence of the basic elements of matter without a cause! The question remained unanswered because it was unanswerable. In relation to this issue, humanity was just—
“An infant crying in the night,
An infant crying for the light
And with no language but a cry.”
“An infant crying at night,
An infant crying for the light
And with no words but a cry.”
All the same, it did not follow, because one could not explain the mystery oneself, that it was right to try to believe an unreasonable explanation offered by someone else.
All the same, it didn’t mean that just because one couldn’t explain the mystery themselves, it was correct to accept an unreasonable explanation provided by someone else.
But although he reasoned like this, Owen could not help longing for something to believe, for some hope for the future; something to compensate for the unhappiness of the present. In one sense, he thought, how good it would be if Christianity were true, and after all the sorrow there was to be an eternity of happiness such as it had never entered into the heart of man to conceive? If only that were true, nothing else would matter. How contemptible and insignificant the very worst that could happen here would be if one knew that this life was only a short journey that was to terminate at the beginning of an eternity of joy? But no one really believed this; and as for those who pretended to do so—their lives showed that they did not believe it at all. Their greed and inhumanity—their ferocious determination to secure for themselves the good things of THIS world—were conclusive proofs of their hypocrisy and infidelity.
But even though he thought this way, Owen couldn't help but wish for something to believe in, some hope for the future; something to make up for the unhappiness of the present. He thought, how great would it be if Christianity were true, and after all the sorrow, there was to be an eternity of happiness that had never even crossed the mind of man? If only that were true, nothing else would matter. How petty and trivial the very worst that could happen here would feel if one knew that this life was just a short journey ending in an eternity of joy? But no one really believed this; and as for those who acted like they did—their lives proved they didn't believe it at all. Their greed and lack of humanity—their fierce determination to grab hold of the pleasures of THIS world—were clear signs of their hypocrisy and disbelief.
“Dad,” said Frankie, suddenly, “let’s go over and hear what that man’s saying.” He pointed across the way to where—a little distance back from the main road, just round the corner of a side street—a group of people were standing encircling a large lantern fixed on the top of a pole about seven feet high, which was being held by one of the men. A bright light was burning inside this lantern and on the pane of white, obscured glass which formed the sides, visible from where Owen and Frankie were standing, was written in bold plain letters that were readable even at that distance, the text:
“Dad,” Frankie said suddenly, “let’s go over and see what that guy’s talking about.” He pointed across the way to where, a short distance off the main road, just around the corner of a side street, a group of people was gathered around a large lantern mounted on a pole about seven feet high, which one of the men was holding. A bright light was shining inside the lantern, and on the pane of white, frosted glass that made up the sides, clearly visible from where Owen and Frankie were standing, bold letters readable even from that distance read:
“Be not deceived: God is not mocked!”
The man whose voice had attracted Frankie’s attention was reading out a verse of a hymn:
The man whose voice had caught Frankie’s attention was reading a verse from a hymn:
“I heard the voice of Jesus say,
Behold, I freely give,
The living water, thirsty one,
Stoop down and drink, and live.
I came to Jesus and I drank
Of that life giving stream,
My thirst was quenched,
My soul revived,
And now I live in Him.”
“I heard Jesus say,
Look, I freely give,
The living water, thirsty one,
Bend down and drink, and live.
I went to Jesus and I drank
From that life-giving stream,
My thirst was satisfied,
My soul revived,
And now I live in Him.”
The individual who gave out this hymn was a tall, thin man whose clothes hung loosely on the angles of his round-shouldered, bony form. His long, thin legs—about which the baggy trousers hung in ungraceful folds—were slightly knock-kneed, and terminated in large, flat feet. His arms were very long even for such a tall man, and the huge, bony hands were gnarled and knotted. Regardless of the season, he had removed his bowler hat, revealing his forehead, which was high, flat and narrow. His nose was a large, fleshy, hawklike beak, and from the side of each nostril a deep indentation extended downwards until it disappeared in the drooping moustache that concealed his mouth when he was not speaking, but the vast extent of which was perceptible now as he opened it to call out the words of the hymn. His chin was large and extraordinarily long: the eyes were pale blue, very small and close together, surmounted by spare, light-coloured, almost invisible eyebrows with a deep vertical cleft between them over the nose. His head—covered with thick, coarse brown hair—was very large, especially at the back; the ears were small and laid close to the head. If one were to make a full-face drawing of his cadaverous visage, it would be found that the outline resembled that of the lid of a coffin.
The person who handed out this hymn was a tall, skinny man whose clothes hung loosely off his angular, bony frame. His long, thin legs—where the baggy pants draped awkwardly—were slightly knock-kneed and ended in big, flat feet. His arms were unusually long for someone of his height, and his huge, bony hands were gnarled and knotted. No matter the season, he had taken off his bowler hat, exposing his high, flat, narrow forehead. His nose was a large, fleshy, hawk-like beak, and from the sides of each nostril, a deep indentation extended down until it disappeared into the drooping mustache that covered his mouth when he wasn’t speaking, although it was quite noticeable now as he opened it to shout the words of the hymn. His chin was big and unusually long: his pale blue eyes were very small and close together, topped by sparse, light-colored, nearly invisible eyebrows, with a deep vertical crease between them over the nose. His head—covered with thick, coarse brown hair—was quite large, especially in the back; his ears were small and close to his head. If someone were to draw a full-face portrait of his skeletal face, the outline would resemble that of a coffin lid.
As Owen and Frankie drew near, the boy tugged at his father’s hand and whispered: “Dad! that’s the teacher at the Sunday School where I went that day with Charley and Elsie.”
As Owen and Frankie got closer, the boy pulled on his dad's hand and whispered, “Dad! That’s the teacher from the Sunday School I went to that day with Charley and Elsie.”
Owen looked quickly and saw that it was Hunter.
Owen glanced over quickly and saw that it was Hunter.
As Hunter ceased reading out the words of the hymn, the little company of evangelists began to sing, accompanied by the strains of a small but peculiarly sweet-toned organ. A few persons in the crowd joined in, the words being familiar to them. During the singing their faces were a study, they all looked so profoundly solemn and miserable, as if they were a gang of condemned criminals waiting to be led forth to execution. The great number of the people standing around appeared to be listening more out of idle curiosity than anything else, and two well-dressed young men—evidently strangers and visitors to the town—amused themselves by making audible remarks about the texts on the lantern. There was also a shabbily dressed, semi-drunken man in a battered bowler hat who stood on the inner edge of the crowd, almost in the ring itself, with folded arms and an expression of scorn. He had a very thin, pale face with a large, high-bridged nose, and bore a striking resemblance to the First Duke of Wellington.
As Hunter stopped reading the words of the hymn, the small group of evangelists started to sing, accompanied by the sound of a small but unusually sweet-toned organ. A few people in the crowd joined in, the words being familiar to them. During the singing, their faces were quite a sight; they all looked so deeply serious and miserable, as if they were a group of condemned criminals waiting to be taken to their execution. The large number of people standing around seemed to be listening more out of idle curiosity than anything else, and two well-dressed young men—clearly strangers visiting the town—were entertaining themselves by making loud comments about the texts on the lantern. There was also a scruffy, semi-drunk man in a battered bowler hat who stood on the inner edge of the crowd, almost in the ring itself, with his arms crossed and an expression of disdain. He had a very thin, pale face with a large, prominent nose, and he bore a striking resemblance to the First Duke of Wellington.
As the singing proceeded, the scornful expression faded from the visage of the Semi-drunk, and he not only joined in, but unfolded his arms and began waving them about as if he were conducting the music.
As the singing went on, the mocking look disappeared from the face of the Semi-drunk, and he not only joined in but also unfolded his arms and started waving them around as if he were conducting the music.
By the time the singing was over a considerable crowd had gathered, and then one of the evangelists, the same man who had given out the hymn, stepped into the middle of the ring. He had evidently been offended by the unseemly conduct of the two well-dressed young men, for after a preliminary glance round upon the crowd, he fixed his gaze upon the pair, and immediately launched out upon a long tirade against what he called “Infidelity”. Then, having heartily denounced all those who—as he put it—“refused” to believe, he proceeded to ridicule those half-and-half believers, who, while professing to believe the Bible, rejected the doctrine of Hell. That the existence of a place of eternal torture is taught in the Bible, he tried to prove by a long succession of texts. As he proceeded he became very excited, and the contemptuous laughter of the two unbelievers seemed to make him worse. He shouted and raved, literally foaming at the mouth and glaring in a frenzied manner around upon the faces of the crowd.
By the time the singing finished, a large crowd had gathered, and then one of the evangelists, the same guy who had led the hymn, stepped into the middle of the ring. He clearly seemed annoyed by the inappropriate behavior of the two well-dressed young men. After scanning the crowd, he focused on them and immediately launched into a lengthy rant about what he called “Infidelity.” Then, after fiercely condemning everyone who—according to him—“refused” to believe, he started mocking those who kind of believed, the ones who claimed to believe the Bible but rejected the idea of Hell. He tried to prove that the Bible teaches the existence of a place of eternal torture by citing a long list of verses. As he went on, he got really worked up, and the dismissive laughter of the two skeptics seemed to fuel his anger. He shouted and raved, literally foaming at the mouth and glaring wildly at the faces in the crowd.
“There is a Hell!” he shouted. “And understand this clearly—‘The wicked shall be turned into hell’—‘He that believeth not shall be damned.’”
“There is a Hell!” he shouted. “And understand this clearly—‘The wicked will be cast into hell’—‘Those who do not believe will be condemned.’”
“Well, then, you’ll stand a very good chance of being damned also,” exclaimed one of the two young men.
“Well, then, you’ll have a pretty good chance of getting damned too,” one of the two young men exclaimed.
“’Ow do you make it out?” demanded the preacher, wiping the froth from his lips and the perspiration from his forehead with his handkerchief.
“'How do you make it out?” demanded the preacher, wiping the foam from his lips and the sweat from his forehead with his handkerchief.
“Why, because you don’t believe the Bible yourselves.”
“Why? Because you don’t actually believe the Bible.”
Nimrod and the other evangelists laughed, and looked pityingly at the young man.
Nimrod and the other evangelists laughed and looked at the young man with pity.
“Ah, my dear brother,” said Misery. “That’s your delusion. I thank God I do believe it, every word!”
“Ah, my dear brother,” said Misery. “That’s your misconception. I thank God that I truly believe it, every word!”
“Amen,” fervently ejaculated Slyme and several of the other disciples.
“Amen,” passionately exclaimed Slyme and a few of the other disciples.
“Oh no, you don’t,” replied the other. “And I can prove you don’t.”
“Oh no, you don’t,” the other person replied. “And I can prove you wrong.”
“Prove it, then,” said Nimrod.
“Prove it, then,” Nimrod said.
“Read out the 17th and 18th verses of the XVIth chapter of Mark,” said the disturber of the meeting. The crowd began to close in on the centre, the better to hear the dispute. Misery, standing close to the lantern, found the verse mentioned and read aloud as follows:
“Read out the 17th and 18th verses of the 16th chapter of Mark,” said the disruptor of the meeting. The crowd started to gather around the center to hear the argument better. Misery, standing close to the lantern, found the verse mentioned and read aloud as follows:
“And these signs shall follow them that believe. In my name shall they cast out devils: they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing it shall not hurt them: they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.”
“And these signs will accompany those who believe. In my name, they will drive out demons; they will speak in new languages. They will pick up snakes; and if they drink anything poisonous, it will not harm them: they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will get well.”
“Well, you can’t heal the sick, neither can you speak new languages or cast out devils: but perhaps you can drink deadly things without suffering harm.” The speaker here suddenly drew from his waistcoat pocket a small glass bottle and held it out towards Misery, who shrank from it with horror as he continued: “I have here a most deadly poison. There is in this bottle sufficient strychnine to kill a dozen unbelievers. Drink it! And if it doesn’t harm you, we’ll know that you really are a believer and that what you believe is the truth!”
“Well, you can’t heal the sick, you can’t speak new languages, and you can’t cast out demons: but maybe you can drink something deadly and not get hurt.” The speaker suddenly pulled a small glass bottle from his waistcoat pocket and held it out to Misery, who recoiled in horror as he continued: “I have a very deadly poison here. This bottle contains enough strychnine to kill a dozen nonbelievers. Drink it! And if it doesn’t harm you, we’ll know that you truly are a believer and that what you believe is the truth!”
“’Ear, ’ear!” said the Semi-drunk, who had listened to the progress of the argument with great interest. “’Ear, ’ear! That’s fair enough. Git it acrost yer chest.”
“Hey, hey!” said the Semi-drunk, who had followed the argument with great interest. “Hey, hey! That’s fair enough. Get it off your chest.”
Some of the people in the crowd began to laugh, and voices were heard from several quarters calling upon Misery to drink the strychnine.
Some people in the crowd started laughing, and voices from different directions叫 for Misery to drink the strychnine.
“Now, if you’ll allow me, I’ll explain to you what that there verse means,” said Hunter. “If you read it carefully—WITH the context—”
“Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll explain what that verse means,” said Hunter. “If you read it carefully—with the context—”
“I don’t want you to tell me what it means,” interrupted the other. “I am able to read for myself. Whatever you may say, or pretend to think it means, I know what it says.”
“I don’t need you to explain it to me,” interrupted the other. “I can read for myself. No matter what you might say or pretend to think it means, I know what it says.”
“Hear, Hear,” shouted several voices, and angry cries of “Why don’t you drink the poison?” began to be heard from the outskirts of the crowd.
“Hear, Hear,” shouted several voices, and angry shouts of “Why don’t you drink the poison?” started to be heard from the edges of the crowd.
“Are you going to drink it or not?” demanded the man with the bottle.
“Are you going to drink it or not?” asked the man with the bottle.
“No! I’m not such a fool!” retorted Misery, fiercely, and a loud shout of laughter broke from the crowd.
“No! I’m not that stupid!” Misery shot back angrily, and a loud uproar of laughter erupted from the crowd.
“P’haps some of the other ‘believers’ would like to,” said the young man sneeringly, looking round upon the disciples. As no one seemed desirous of availing himself of this offer, the man returned the bottle regretfully to his pocket.
“Maybe some of the other ‘believers’ would want to,” said the young man sarcastically, glancing around at the disciples. Since no one appeared interested in taking him up on this offer, he regretfully put the bottle back in his pocket.
“I suppose,” said Misery, regarding the owner of the strychnine with a sneer, “I suppose you’re one of them there hired critics wot’s goin’ about the country doin’ the Devil’s work?”
“I guess,” said Misery, looking at the owner of the strychnine with a sneer, “I guess you’re one of those hired critics going around the country doing the Devil’s work?”
“Wot I wants to know is this ’ere,” said the Semi-drunk, suddenly advancing into the middle of the ring and speaking in a loud voice. “Where did Cain get ’is wife from?”
"Wot I want to know is this," said the Semi-drunk, suddenly stepping into the center of the circle and speaking loudly. "Where did Cain get his wife from?"
“Don’t answer ’im, Brother ’Unter,” said Mr Didlum, one of the disciples. This was rather an unnecessary piece of advice, because Misery did not know the answer.
“Don’t respond to him, Brother Unter,” said Mr. Didlum, one of the followers. This was somewhat unnecessary advice, as Misery didn’t know the answer.
An individual in a long black garment—the “minister”—now whispered something to Miss Didlum, who was seated at the organ, whereupon she began to play, and the “believers” began to sing, as loud as they could so as to drown the voices of the disturbers of the meeting, a song called “Oh, that will be Glory for me!”
An individual in a long black robe—the “minister”—now leaned in to whisper something to Miss Didlum, who was at the organ. She then started to play, and the “believers” began to sing as loudly as possible to drown out the voices of those disrupting the meeting, a song called “Oh, that will be Glory for me!”
After this hymn the “minister” invited a shabbily dressed “brother”—a working-man member of the PSA, to say a “few words”, and the latter accordingly stepped into the centre of the ring and held forth as follows:
After this hymn, the “minister” invited a poorly dressed “brother”—a working-class member of the PSA—to say a “few words.” The man then stepped into the center of the ring and spoke as follows:
“My dear frens, I thank Gord tonight that I can stand ’ere tonight, hout in the hopen hair and tell hall you dear people tonight of hall wot’s been done for ME. Ho my dear frens hi ham so glad tonight as I can stand ’ere tonight and say as hall my sins is hunder the blood tonight and wot ’E’s done for me ’E can do for you tonight. If you’ll honly do as I done and just acknowledge yourself a lost sinner—”
“My dear friends, I thank God tonight that I can stand here tonight, out in the hopeful air, and tell all you dear people about all that’s been done for ME. Oh, my dear friends, I am so glad tonight that I can stand here and say that all my sins are under the blood tonight, and what He’s done for me, He can do for you tonight. If you’ll only do as I did and just acknowledge yourself as a lost sinner—”
“Yes! that’s the honly way!” shouted Nimrod.
“Yes! That’s the only way!” shouted Nimrod.
“Amen,” cried all the other believers.
“Amen,” shouted all the other believers.
“—If you’ll honly come to ’im tonight in the same way as I done you’ll see wot ’E’s done for me ’E can do for you. Ho my dear frens, don’t go puttin’ it orf from day to day like a door turnin’ on its ’inges, don’t put orf to some more convenient time because you may never ’ave another chance. ’Im that bein’ orfen reproved ’ardeneth ’is neck shall be suddenly cut orf and that without remedy. Ho come to ’im tonight, for ’Is name’s sake and to ’Im we’ll give hall the glory. Amen.”
“—If you come to Him tonight the same way I did, you’ll see what He’s done for me, and He can do for you. Oh, my dear friends, don’t keep putting it off from day to day like a door turning on its hinges. Don’t wait for a more convenient time because you may never have another chance. He who is often reproved and hardens his neck will be suddenly cut off, and that without remedy. Oh, come to Him tonight, for His name’s sake, and to Him we’ll give all the glory. Amen.”
“Amen,” said the believers, fervently, and then the man who was dressed in the long garment entreated all those who were not yet true believers—and doers—of the word to join earnestly and MEANINGLY in the singing of the closing hymn, which he was about to read out to them.
“Amen,” said the believers passionately, and then the man in the long robe urged everyone who wasn’t yet a true believer—and doer—of the word to join in sincerely and MEANINGFULLY in singing the closing hymn, which he was about to read to them.
The Semi-drunk obligingly conducted as before, and the crowd faded away with the last notes of the music.
The semi-drunk person willingly led as before, and the crowd dispersed with the final notes of the music.
Chapter 24
Ruth
As has already been stated, hitherto Slyme had passed the greater number of his evenings at home, but during the following three weeks a change took place in his habits in this respect. He now went out nearly every night and did not return until after ten o’clock. On meeting nights he always changed his attire, dressing himself as on Sundays, but on the other occasions he went out in his week-day clothes. Ruth often wondered where he went on those nights, but he never volunteered the information and she never asked him.
As mentioned before, until now Slyme had spent most of his evenings at home, but over the next three weeks, his habits changed. He started going out almost every night and wouldn’t come back until after ten o'clock. On meeting nights, he always dressed up like it was Sunday, but on other nights, he wore his regular clothes. Ruth often wondered where he went during those nights, but he never shared that information, and she never asked.
Easton had chummed up with a lot of the regular customers at the “Cricketers”, where he now spent most of his spare time, drinking beer, telling yarns or playing shove-ha’penny or hooks and rings. When he had no cash the Old Dear gave him credit until Saturday. At first, the place had not had much attraction for him, and he really went there only for the purpose of “keeping in’ with Crass: but after a time he found it a very congenial way of passing his evenings...
Easton had become friends with a lot of the regulars at the “Cricketers,” where he now spent most of his free time, drinking beer, telling stories, or playing shove-ha’penny or hooks and rings. When he was short on cash, the Old Dear let him run a tab until Saturday. At first, he didn’t find the place particularly appealing and only went to stay on Crass's good side, but after a while, he discovered it was a really enjoyable way to spend his evenings...
One evening, Ruth saw Slyme meet Crass as if by appointment and as the two men went away together she returned to her housework wondering what it meant.
One evening, Ruth saw Slyme meeting Crass as if they had made plans, and as the two men walked off together, she went back to her housework, curious about what it meant.
Meantime, Crass and Slyme proceeded on their way down town. It was about half past six o’clock: the shops and streets were brilliantly lighted, and as they went along they saw numerous groups of men talking together in a listless way. Most of them were artisans and labourers out of employment and evidently in no great hurry to go home. Some of them had neither tea nor fire to go to, and stayed away from home as long as possible so as not to be compelled to look upon the misery of those who were waiting for them there. Others hung about hoping against all probability that they might even yet—although it was so late—hear of some job to be started somewhere or other.
Meanwhile, Crass and Slyme continued their way downtown. It was around 6:30 PM: the shops and streets were brightly lit, and as they walked, they saw numerous groups of men talking in a casual manner. Most of them were unemployed artisans and laborers who clearly weren’t in a hurry to head home. Some of them had no tea or fire to return to and stayed out as long as they could to avoid facing the misery of those waiting for them at home. Others lingered around, hoping against all odds that they might still hear of a job opening up somewhere, even though it was getting late.
As they passed one of these groups they recognized and nodded to Newman and old Jack Linden, and the former left the others and came up to Crass and Slyme, who did not pause, so Newman walked along with them.
As they walked by one of these groups, they recognized and nodded at Newman and old Jack Linden. Newman left the others and approached Crass and Slyme, who didn’t stop, so Newman walked alongside them.
“Anything fresh in, Bob?” he asked.
“Got anything new in, Bob?” he asked.
“No; we ain’t got ’ardly anything,” replied Crass. “I reckon we shall finish up at ‘The Cave’ next week, and then I suppose we shall all be stood orf. We’ve got several plumbers on, and I believe there’s a little gas-fitting work in, but next to nothing in our line.”
“No; we hardly have anything,” replied Crass. “I think we’ll wrap things up at ‘The Cave’ next week, and then I guess we’ll all be out of work. We’ve got a few plumbers here, and I believe there’s a bit of gas-fitting to do, but there’s basically nothing for us.”
“I suppose you don’t know of any other firm what’s got anything?”
“I guess you don’t know of any other company that has anything?”
“No, I don’t, mate. Between you and me, I don’t think any of ’em has; they’re all in about the same fix.”
“No, I don’t, buddy. Just between us, I don’t think any of them has; they’re all in pretty much the same situation.”
“I’ve not done anything since I left, you know,” said Newman, “and we’ve just about got as far as we can get, at home.”
“I haven’t done anything since I left, you know,” said Newman, “and we’ve pretty much reached the limit of what we can do at home.”
Slyme and Crass said nothing in reply to this. They wished that Newman would take himself off, because they did not want him to know where they were going.
Slyme and Crass didn't say anything in response to this. They hoped Newman would leave them alone because they didn't want him to find out where they were headed.
However, Newman continued to accompany them and an awkward silence succeeded. He seemed to wish to say something more, and they both guessed what it was. So they walked along as rapidly as possible in order not to give him any encouragement. At last Newman blurted out:
However, Newman kept following them and an uncomfortable silence fell over the group. He appeared to want to say something more, and they both knew what it was. So they hurried along as quickly as possible to avoid giving him any encouragement. Finally, Newman blurted out:
“I suppose—you don’t happen—either of you—to have a tanner you could lend me? I’ll let you have it back—when I get a job.”
“I guess you two don’t happen to have a tanner I could borrow? I’ll return it once I find a job.”
“I ain’t mate,” replied Crass. “I’m sorry; if I ’ad one on me, you should ’ave it, with pleasure.”
“I’m not your buddy,” replied Crass. “I’m sorry; if I had one on me, you would get it, no problem.”
Slyme also expressed his regret that he had no money with him, and at the corner of the next street Newman—ashamed of having asked—wished them “good night” and went away.
Slyme also said he was sorry that he didn’t have any money on him, and at the corner of the next street, Newman—embarrassed for having asked—wished them "good night" and left.
Slyme and Crass hurried along and presently arrived at Rushton & Co.’s shop. The windows were lit up with electric light, displaying an assortment of wallpapers, gas and electric light fittings, glass shades, globes, tins of enamel, paint and varnish. Several framed show-cards—“Estimates Free”, “First class work only, at moderate charges”, “Only First Class Workmen Employed” and several others of the same type. On one side wall of the window was a large shield-shaped board covered with black velvet on which a number of brass fittings for coffins were arranged. The shield was on an oak mount with the inscription: “Funerals conducted on modern principles”.
Slyme and Crass rushed over and soon reached Rushton & Co.'s shop. The windows glowed with electric lights, showcasing a variety of wallpapers, gas and electric light fixtures, glass shades, globes, and cans of enamel, paint, and varnish. Several framed signs read: “Free Estimates,” “Top-notch work only, at reasonable rates,” “Only the Best Tradespeople Employed,” and other similar messages. On one side wall of the window, there was a large shield-shaped board covered in black velvet displaying a selection of brass fittings for coffins. The shield was mounted on oak with the inscription: “Funerals conducted on modern principles.”
Slyme waited outside while Crass went in. Mr Budd, the shopman, was down at the far end near the glazed partition which separated Mr Rushton’s office from the front shop. As Crass entered, Budd—who was a pale-faced, unhealthy-looking, undersized youth about twenty years of age—looked round and, with a grimace, motioned him to walk softly. Crass paused, wondering what the other meant; but the shopman beckoned him to advance, grinning and winking and jerking his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the office. Crass hesitated, fearing that possibly the miserable Budd had gone—or been driven—out of his mind; but as the latter continued to beckon and grin and point towards the office Crass screwed up his courage and followed him behind one of the showcases, and applying his eye to a crack in the woodwork of the partition indicated by Budd, he could see Mr Rushton in the act of kissing and embracing Miss Wade, the young lady clerk. Crass watched them for some time and then whispered to Budd to call Slyme, and when the latter came they all three took turns at peeping through the crack in the partition.
Slyme waited outside while Crass went in. Mr. Budd, the shop assistant, was at the far end near the glass partition that separated Mr. Rushton’s office from the front shop. As Crass entered, Budd—who was a pale, unhealthy-looking, undersized guy about twenty years old—looked around and, with a grimace, signaled him to walk quietly. Crass paused, wondering what Budd meant; but the shop assistant waved him forward, grinning, winking, and pointing over his shoulder towards the office. Crass hesitated, fearing that Budd had gone—or been driven—mad; but as Budd kept beckoning, grinning, and pointing towards the office, Crass gathered his courage and followed him behind one of the showcases. He put his eye to a crack in the woodwork of the partition that Budd indicated, and he could see Mr. Rushton kissing and hugging Miss Wade, the young female clerk. Crass watched them for a while and then whispered to Budd to call Slyme, and when Slyme arrived, the three of them took turns peeking through the crack in the partition.
When they had looked their fill they came out from behind the showcase, almost bursting with suppressed merriment. Budd reached down a key from where it was hanging on a hook on the wall and gave it to Crass and the two resumed their interrupted journey. But before they had proceeded a dozen yards from the shop, they were accosted by a short, elderly man with grey hair and a beard. This man looked about sixty-five years of age, and was very shabbily dressed. The ends of the sleeves of his coat were frayed and ragged, and the elbows were worn threadbare. His boots were patched, broken, and down at heel, and the knees and bottoms of the legs of his trousers were in the same condition as the sleeves of his coat. This man’s name was Latham; he was a venetian blind maker and repairer. With his son, he was supposed to be “in business” on his own account, but as most of their work was done for “the trade”, that is, for such firms as Rushton & Co., they would be more correctly described as men who did piecework at home.
When they had taken in all they wanted to see, they stepped out from behind the display, practically bursting with suppressed laughter. Budd grabbed a key from where it was hanging on a hook on the wall and handed it to Crass, and the two continued their interrupted journey. But before they had gone a dozen yards from the shop, they were approached by a short, elderly man with gray hair and a beard. This man looked to be about sixty-five years old and was dressed very poorly. The ends of the sleeves of his coat were frayed and ragged, and the elbows were worn thin. His boots were patched, broken, and had worn-down heels, and the knees and bottoms of his trousers were in the same condition as the sleeves of his coat. This man's name was Latham; he was a venetian blind maker and repairer. With his son, he was supposed to be “in business” for himself, but since most of their work was done for “the trade,” meaning firms like Rushton & Co., it would be more accurate to describe them as men who did piecework from home.
He had been “in business”—as he called it—for about forty years working, working, always working; and ever since his son became old enough to labour he had helped his father in the philanthropic task of manufacturing profits for the sweaters who employed them. They had been so busy running after work, and working for the benefit of others, that they had overlooked the fact that they were only earning a bare living for themselves and now, after forty years’ hard labour, the old man was clothed in rags and on the verge of destitution.
He had been "in business"—as he called it—for about forty years, constantly working, always working; and ever since his son was old enough to help out, he had joined his father in the charitable task of generating profits for the companies that employed them. They had been so focused on chasing after work and putting in effort for others that they failed to realize they were only earning just enough to get by, and now, after forty years of hard work, the old man was dressed in rags and close to poverty.
“Is Rushton there?” he asked.
“Is Rushton around?” he asked.
“Yes, I think so,” replied Crass, attempting to pass on; but the old man detained him.
“Yes, I think so,” Crass replied, trying to move on; but the old man stopped him.
“He promised to let us know about them blinds for ‘The Cave’. We gave ’im a price for ’em about a month ago. In fact, we gave ’im two prices, because he said the first was too high. Five and six a set I asked ’im! take ’em right through the ’ole ’ouse! one with another—big and little. Two coats of paint, and new tapes and cords. That wasn’t too much, was it?”
“He promised to update us about the blinds for ‘The Cave’. We gave him a quote for them about a month ago. Actually, we provided him with two quotes because he thought the first one was too high. I asked him for five and six a set! That would cover the whole house! One for each window—big and small. Two coats of paint, plus new tapes and cords. That wasn’t too much, right?”
“No,” said Crass, walking on; “that was cheap enough!”
“No,” said Crass, continuing on; “that was pretty cheap!”
“He said it was too much,” continued Latham. “Said as ’e could get ’em done cheaper! But I say as no one can’t do it and make a living.”
He said it was too much,” continued Latham. “He said he could get them done cheaper! But I say no one can do it and make a living.”
As he walked along, talking, between Crass and Slyme, the old man became very excited.
As he walked along, chatting, between Crass and Slyme, the old man got really excited.
“But we ’adn’t nothing to do to speak of, so my son told ’im we’d do ’em for five bob a set, and ’e said ’e’d let us know, but we ain’t ’eard nothing from ’im yet, so I thought I’d try and see ’im tonight.”
“But we didn’t have anything to do, so my son told him we’d do them for five bucks a set, and he said he’d let us know, but we haven’t heard anything from him yet, so I thought I’d try to see him tonight.”
“Well, you’ll find ’im in there now,” said Slyme with a peculiar look, and walking faster. “Good night.”
“Well, you’ll find him in there now,” said Slyme with a strange look, walking faster. “Good night.”
“I won’t take ’em on for no less!” cried the old man as he turned back. “I’ve got my livin’ to get, and my son’s got ’is wife and little ’uns to keep. We can’t work for nothing!”
“I won’t take them on for any less!” shouted the old man as he turned back. “I’ve got to make a living, and my son has his wife and kids to support. We can’t work for free!”
“Certainly not,” said Crass, glad to get away at last. “Good night, and good luck to you.”
“Definitely not,” said Crass, happy to finally escape. “Good night, and good luck to you.”
As soon as they were out of hearing, they both burst out laughing at the old man’s vehemence.
As soon as they were out of earshot, they both started laughing at the old man's intensity.
“Seemed quite upset about it,” said Slyme; and they laughed again.
“Seemed really upset about it,” said Slyme; and they laughed again.
They now left the main road and pursued their way through a number of badly lighted, mean-looking streets, and finally turning down a kind of alley, arrived at their destination. On one side of this street was a row of small houses; facing these were a number of buildings of a miscellaneous description—sheds and stables; and beyond these a plot of waste ground on which could be seen, looming weirdly through the dusk, a number of empty carts and waggons with their shafts resting on the ground or reared up into the air. Threading their way carefully through these and avoiding as much as possible the mud, pools of water, and rubbish which covered the ground, they arrived at a large gate fastened with a padlock. Applying the key, Crass swung back the gate and they found themselves in a large yard filled with building materials and plant, ladders, huge tressels, planks and beams of wood, hand-carts, and wheelbarrows, heaps of sand and mortar and innumerable other things that assumed strange fantastic shapes in the semi-darkness. Crates and packing cases, lengths of iron guttering and rain-pipes, old door-frames and other woodwork that had been taken from buildings where alterations had been made. And over all these things, a gloomy, indistinct and shapeless mass, rose the buildings and sheds that comprised Rushton & Co.’s workshop.
They left the main road and made their way through several poorly lit, rundown streets, finally turning into an alley and reaching their destination. On one side of the street was a row of small houses; across from them were various buildings, like sheds and stables; beyond those was a stretch of wasteland where, in the dim light, they could see empty carts and wagons looking eerie, with their shafts either resting on the ground or pointed up into the air. Carefully navigating through these obstacles and trying to avoid the mud, puddles, and trash that covered the ground, they reached a large gate secured with a padlock. Crass used the key to unlock the gate, and they entered a spacious yard filled with construction materials—ladders, massive trestles, planks, and beams of wood, hand carts and wheelbarrows, piles of sand and mortar, and countless other items that took on strange and fantastical forms in the low light. Crates and packing boxes, lengths of iron gutters and downspouts, old door frames and other wood pieces from buildings that had been remodeled. Above all this, a dark, vague, and formless mass loomed—the buildings and sheds that made up Rushton & Co.’s workshop.
Crass struck a match, and Slyme, stooping down, drew a key from a crevice in the wall near one of the doors, which he unlocked, and they entered. Crass struck another match and lit the gas at the jointed bracket fixed to the wall. This was the paint-shop. At one end was a fireplace without a grate but with an iron bar fixed across the blackened chimney for the purpose of suspending pails or pots over the fire, which was usually made of wood on the hearthstone. All round the walls of the shop—which had once been whitewashed, but were now covered with smears of paint of every colour where the men had “rubbed out” their brushes—were rows of shelves with kegs of paint upon them. In front of the window was a long bench covered with an untidy litter of dirty paint-pots, including several earthenware mixing vessels or mortars, the sides of these being thickly coated with dried paint. Scattered about the stone floor were a number of dirty pails, either empty or containing stale whitewash; and standing on a sort of low platform or shelf at one end of the shop were four large round tanks fitted with taps and labelled “Boiled Oil”, “Turps”, “Linseed Oil”, “Turps Substitute”. The lower parts of the walls were discoloured with moisture. The atmosphere was cold and damp and foul with the sickening odours of the poisonous materials.
Crass struck a match, and Slyme, bending down, pulled a key from a crevice in the wall near one of the doors, which he unlocked, and they went inside. Crass struck another match and turned on the gas at the jointed bracket fixed to the wall. This was the paint shop. At one end was a fireplace without a grate but with an iron bar across the blackened chimney to hang pails or pots over the fire, which was usually made of wood on the hearth. All around the walls of the shop—which had once been whitewashed but were now splattered with paint of every color from where the men had “rubbed out” their brushes—were rows of shelves stacked with kegs of paint. In front of the window was a long bench covered with a messy collection of dirty paint pots, including several earthenware mixing vessels or mortars, the sides of which were thickly coated with dried paint. Scattered across the stone floor were several dirty pails, either empty or containing stale whitewash; and sitting on a kind of low platform or shelf at one end of the shop were four large round tanks equipped with taps labeled “Boiled Oil,” “Turps,” “Linseed Oil,” “Turps Substitute.” The lower parts of the walls were stained with moisture. The atmosphere was cold, damp, and filled with the nauseating odors of the toxic materials.
It was in this place that Bert—the apprentice—spent most of his time, cleaning out pots and pails, during slack periods when there were no jobs going on outside.
It was in this place that Bert—the apprentice—spent most of his time, cleaning out pots and buckets during slow periods when there were no jobs happening outside.
In the middle of the shop, under a two-armed gas pendant, was another table or bench, also thickly coated with old, dried paint, and by the side of this were two large stands on which were hanging up to dry some of the lathes of the venetian blinds belonging to “The Cave”, which Crass and Slyme were painting—piecework—in their spare time. The remainder of the lathes were leaning against the walls or piled in stacks on the table.
In the middle of the shop, under a two-armed gas light, was another table or bench, also thickly covered with old, dried paint. Beside it were two large stands where some of the slats of the Venetian blinds belonging to “The Cave” were hanging up to dry, which Crass and Slyme were painting on the side. The rest of the slats were leaning against the walls or piled in stacks on the table.
Crass shivered with cold as he lit the two gas-jets. “Make a bit of a fire, Alf,” he said, “while I gets the colour ready.”
Crass shivered from the cold as he lit the two gas jets. “Make a fire, Alf,” he said, “while I get the color ready.”
Slyme went outside and presently returned with his arms full of old wood, which he smashed up and threw into the fireplace; then he took an empty paint-pot and filled it with turpentine from the big tank and emptied it over the wood. Amongst the pots on the mixing bench he found one full of old paint, and he threw this over the wood also, and in a few minutes he had made a roaring fire.
Slyme went outside and soon came back with his arms full of old wood, which he broke up and tossed into the fireplace; then he grabbed an empty paint can, filled it with turpentine from the big tank, and poured it over the wood. Among the cans on the mixing bench, he found one filled with old paint, and he poured that over the wood too, and in just a few minutes, he had created a roaring fire.
Meantime, Crass had prepared the paint and brushes and taken down the lathes from the drying frames. The two men now proceeded with the painting of the blinds, working rapidly, each lathe being hung on the wires of the drying frame after being painted. They talked freely as they worked, having no fear of being overheard by Rushton or Nimrod. This job was piecework, so it didn’t matter whether they talked or not. They waxed hilarious over Old Latham’s discomfiture and wondered what he would say if he could see them now. Then the conversation drifted to the subject of the private characters of the other men who were employed by Rushton & Co., and an impartial listener—had there been one there—would have been forced to come to the same conclusion as Crass and Slyme did: namely, that they themselves were the only two decent fellows on the firm. There was something wrong or shady about everybody else. That bloke Barrington, for instance—it was a very funny business, you know, for a chap like ’im to be workin’ as a labourer, it looked very suspicious. Nobody knowed exactly who ’e was or where ’e come from, but anyone could tell ’e’d been a toff. It was very certain ’e’d never bin brought up to work for ’is livin’. The most probable explanation was that ’e’d committed some crime and bin disowned by ’is family—pinched some money, or forged a cheque or something like that. Then there was that Sawkins. He was no class whatever. It was a well-known fact that he used to go round to Misery’s house nearly every night to tell him every little thing that had happened on the job during the day! As for Payne, the foreman carpenter, the man was a perfect fool: he’d find out the difference if ever he got the sack from Rushton’s and went to work for some other firm! He didn’t understand his trade, and he couldn’t make a coffin properly to save ’is life! Then there was that rotter Owen; there was a bright specimen for yer! An Atheist! didn’t believe in no God or Devil or nothing else. A pretty state of things there would be if these Socialists could have their own way: for one thing, nobody would be allowed to work overtime!
Meanwhile, Crass had gotten the paint and brushes ready and taken down the lathes from the drying frames. The two men then got to work painting the blinds, moving quickly, hanging each lathe on the drying frame wires after it was painted. They chatted freely as they worked, not worried about being overheard by Rushton or Nimrod. Since this job was piecework, it didn't matter whether they talked or not. They laughed heartily about Old Latham's embarrassment and speculated on what he would say if he could see them now. The conversation then shifted to the personal lives of the other men working for Rushton & Co., and an impartial listener—if there had been one—would have had to agree with Crass and Slyme: they were the only two decent guys in the company. There was something off or shady about everyone else. Take that guy Barrington, for example—it was pretty odd for someone like him to be working as a laborer, which looked very suspicious. Nobody really knew who he was or where he came from, but it was obvious he had been from a well-off background. It was clear he hadn’t been raised to work for a living. The most likely explanation was that he had committed some crime and was disowned by his family—maybe he stole some money or forged a check or something like that. Then there was Sawkins. He had no class at all. It was common knowledge that he went to Misery’s house almost every night to spill all the little details about what had happened at work during the day! As for Payne, the foreman carpenter, he was a complete idiot: he would find out what the difference was if he ever got fired from Rushton’s and had to work for another company! He didn’t know his trade, and he wouldn’t be able to properly make a coffin to save his life! And then there was that jerk Owen; what a specimen! An atheist! He didn't believe in any God or Devil or anything else. Just think how things would turn out if these Socialists got their way: for one, nobody would be allowed to work overtime!
Crass and Slyme worked and talked in this manner till ten o’clock, and then they extinguished the fire by throwing some water on it—put out the gas and locked up the shop and the yard, dropping the key of the latter into the letter-box at Rushton’s office on their way home.
Crass and Slyme worked and talked this way until ten o’clock, and then they put out the fire by throwing some water on it—turned off the gas and locked up the shop and the yard, dropping the key for the yard into the letterbox at Rushton’s office on their way home.
In this way they worked at the blinds nearly every night for three weeks.
In this way, they worked on the blinds almost every night for three weeks.
When Saturday arrived the men working at “The Cave” were again surprised that nobody was sacked, and they were divided in opinion as to the reason, some thinking that Nimrod was determined to keep them all on till the job was finished, so as to get it done as quickly as possible; and others boldly asserting the truth of a rumour that had been going about for several days that the firm had another big job in. Mr Sweater had bought another house; Rushton had to do it up, and they were all to be kept on to start this other work as soon as “The Cave” was finished. Crass knew no more than anyone else and he maintained a discreet silence, but the fact that he did not contradict the rumour served to strengthen it. The only foundation that existed for this report was that Rushton and Misery had been seen looking over the garden gate of a large empty house near “The Cave”. But although it had such an insignificant beginning, the rumour had grown and increased in detail and importance day by day. That very morning at breakfast-time, the man on the pail had announced that he had heard on the very best authority that Mr Sweater had sold all his interest in the great business that bore his name and was about to retire into private life, and that he intended to buy up all the house property in the neighbourhood of “The Cave”. Another individual—one of the new hands—said that he had heard someone else—in a public house—say that Rushton was about to marry one of Sweater’s daughters, and that Sweater intended to give the couple a house to live in, as a wedding present: but the fact that Rushton was already married and the father of four children, rather knocked the bottom out of this story, so it was regretfully dismissed. Whatever the reason, the fact remained that nobody had been discharged, and when pay-time arrived they set out for the office in high spirits.
When Saturday came, the guys working at “The Cave” were once again surprised that nobody got fired, and opinions were split on why that was. Some thought Nimrod was set on keeping everyone around until the job was done so they could finish as quickly as possible, while others confidently claimed the rumor circulating for days was true—that the firm had another big project lined up. Mr. Sweater had bought another house; Rushton was supposed to renovate it, and they were all meant to stay on to start this new work as soon as “The Cave” was completed. Crass didn’t know any more than anyone else and remained quiet, but the fact that he didn’t deny the rumor only made it stronger. The only evidence for this gossip was that Rushton and Misery were seen peering over the garden gate of a large empty house near “The Cave.” But despite its trivial origin, the rumor had grown and gained details and significance day by day. That very morning at breakfast, the guy on the pail announced that he had heard from a reliable source that Mr. Sweater sold all his interests in the big business named after him and was planning to retire to private life, intending to buy up all the real estate around “The Cave.” Another person—one of the new workers—said he heard someone else in a bar mention that Rushton was about to marry one of Sweater’s daughters, and Sweater was planning to give them a house as a wedding gift. However, since Rushton was already married with four kids, that story was quickly shot down. Whatever the reason, the fact was that nobody had been let go, and when it was time to get paid, they headed to the office in great spirits.
That evening, the weather being fine, Slyme went out as usual to his open-air meeting, but Easton departed from HIS usual custom of rushing off to the “Cricketers” directly he had had his tea, having on this occasion promised to wait for Ruth and to go with her to do the marketing. The baby was left at home alone, asleep in the cradle.
That evening, with great weather, Slyme went out as usual to his outdoor meeting, but Easton broke his usual habit of heading straight to the “Cricketers” right after dinner, as he had promised to wait for Ruth and go shopping with her this time. The baby was left home alone, sleeping in the cradle.
By the time they had made all their purchases they had a fairly heavy load. Easton carried the string-bag containing the potatoes and other vegetables, and the meat, and Ruth, the groceries. On their way home, they had to pass the “Cricketers” and just before they reached that part of their journey they met Mr and Mrs Crass, who were also out marketing. They both insisted on Easton and Ruth going in to have a drink with them. Ruth did not want to go, but she allowed herself to be persuaded for she could see that Easton was beginning to get angry with her for refusing. Crass had on a new overcoat and a new hat, with dark grey trousers and yellow boots, and a “stand-up” collar with a bright blue tie. His wife—a fat, vulgar-looking, well-preserved woman about forty—was arrayed in a dark red “motor” costume, with hat to match. Both Easton and Ruth—whose best clothes had all been pawned to raise the money to pay the poor rate—felt very mean and shabby before them.
By the time they finished their shopping, they had a pretty heavy load. Easton carried the bag with the potatoes and other vegetables, as well as the meat, while Ruth took care of the groceries. On their way home, they had to pass the “Cricketers,” and just before they reached that part of their journey, they ran into Mr. and Mrs. Crass, who were also out shopping. They both insisted that Easton and Ruth come in for a drink with them. Ruth didn’t really want to go, but she let herself be convinced because she could see that Easton was starting to get upset with her for refusing. Crass was wearing a new overcoat and a new hat, along with dark grey trousers and yellow boots, and a “stand-up” collar with a bright blue tie. His wife—a heavyset, tacky-looking woman who was about forty but looked well-kept—was dressed in a dark red “motor” outfit with a matching hat. Both Easton and Ruth—whose best clothes had all been pawned to raise money for the poor rate—felt very inferior and shabby next to them.
When they got inside, Crass paid for the first round of drinks, a pint of Old Six for himself; the same for Easton, half a pint for Mrs Easton and threepenny-worth of gin for Mrs Crass.
When they got inside, Crass bought the first round of drinks, a pint of Old Six for himself; the same for Easton, half a pint for Mrs. Easton, and threepenny-worth of gin for Mrs. Crass.
The Besotted Wretch was there, just finishing a game of hooks and rings with the Semi-drunk—who had called round on the day after he was thrown out, to apologize for his conduct to the Old Dear, and had since then become one of the regular customers. Philpot was absent. He had been there that afternoon, so the Old Dear said, but he had gone home about five o’clock, and had not been back since. He was almost sure to look in again in the course of the evening.
The Besotted Wretch was there, just finishing a game of hooks and rings with the Semi-drunk—who had stopped by the day after he got thrown out, to apologize for how he treated the Old Dear, and had since become a regular customer. Philpot was missing. The Old Dear mentioned that he had been there that afternoon, but he left around five o'clock and hadn’t returned since. He was pretty likely to drop by again later in the evening.
Although the house was not nearly so full as it would have been if times had been better, there was a large number of people there, for the “Cricketers” was one of the most popular houses in the town. Another thing that helped to make them busy was the fact that two other public houses in the vicinity had recently been closed up. There were people in all the compartments. Some of the seats in the public bar were occupied by women, some young and accompanied by their husbands, some old and evidently sodden with drink. In one corner of the public bar, drinking beer or gin with a number of young fellows, were three young girls who worked at a steam laundry in the neighbourhood. Two large, fat, gipsy-looking women: evidently hawkers, for on the floor beside them were two baskets containing bundles of flowers—chrysanthemums and Michaelmas daisies. There were also two very plainly and shabbily dressed women about thirty-five years of age, who were always to be found there on Saturday nights, drinking with any man who was willing to pay for them. The behaviour of these two women was very quiet and their manners unobtrusive. They seemed to realize that they were there only on sufferance, and their demeanour was shamefaced and humble.
Although the house wasn't nearly as crowded as it would have been if times had been better, there were still a lot of people there, as the "Cricketers" was one of the most popular pubs in town. Another reason for the busyness was that two nearby public houses had recently closed down. There were people in every section. Some of the seats in the public bar were taken by women—some young with their husbands, some older and clearly tipsy. In one corner of the public bar, three young girls from a local steam laundry were drinking beer or gin with a group of young guys. Two large, overweight, gipsy-looking women were obviously hawkers, as they had two baskets beside them filled with bundles of flowers—chrysanthemums and Michaelmas daisies. There were also two very plainly and shabbily dressed women around thirty-five years old, who could always be found there on Saturday nights, drinking with any man willing to pay for them. These two women's behavior was very quiet, and their manners were unobtrusive. They seemed to know they were there only by the goodwill of others, and their demeanor was somewhat embarrassed and humble.
The majority of the guests were standing. The floor was sprinkled with sawdust which served to soak up the beer that slopped out of the glasses of those whose hands were too unsteady to hold them upright. The air was foul with the smell of beer, spirits and tobacco smoke, and the uproar was deafening, for nearly everyone was talking at the same time, their voices clashing discordantly with the strains of the Polyphone, which was playing “The Garden of Your Heart”. In one corner a group of men convulsed with laughter at the details of a dirty story related by one of their number. Several impatient customers were banging the bottoms of their empty glasses or pewters on the counter and shouting their orders for more beer. Oaths, curses and obscene expressions resounded on every hand, coming almost as frequently from the women as the men. And over all the rattle of money, the ringing of the cash register. The clinking and rattling of the glasses and pewter pots as they were being washed, and the gurgling noise made by the beer as it poured into the drinking vessels from the taps of the beer engine, whose handles were almost incessantly manipulated by the barman, the Old Dear and the glittering landlady, whose silken blouse, bejewelled hair, ears, neck and fingers scintillated gloriously in the blaze of the gaslight.
The majority of the guests were standing. The floor was covered in sawdust that soaked up the beer spilling from the glasses of those whose hands were too shaky to keep them steady. The air was thick with the smells of beer, liquor, and tobacco smoke, and the noise was overwhelming, as nearly everyone was talking at once, their voices clashing discordantly with the music from the Polyphone, which was playing “The Garden of Your Heart.” In one corner, a group of men were laughing hard at the details of a dirty joke told by one of them. Several impatient customers were banging the bottoms of their empty glasses or metal cups on the counter, shouting their orders for more beer. Oaths, curses, and obscene remarks echoed everywhere, coming almost as often from women as from men. Amid it all was the sound of money clinking, the cash register ringing, and the clattering of glasses and metal mugs being washed. The gurgling sound of beer poured into drinking vessels from the taps of the beer engine added to the chaos, with the barman, the Old Dear, and the glamorous landlady constantly working the handles. Her silken blouse and bejeweled hair, ears, neck, and fingers sparkled brilliantly in the glow of the gaslight.
The scene was so novel and strange to Ruth that she felt dazed and bewildered. Previous to her marriage she had been a total abstainer, but since then she had occasionally taken a glass of beer with Easton for company’s sake with their Sunday dinner at home; but it was generally Easton who went out and bought the beer in a jug. Once or twice she had bought it herself at an Off Licence beer-shop near where they lived, but she had never before been in a public house to drink. She was so confused and ill at ease that she scarcely heard or understood Mrs Crass, who talked incessantly, principally about their other residents in North Street where they both resided; and about Mr Crass. She also promised Ruth to introduce her presently—if he came in, as he was almost certain to do—to Mr Partaker, one of her two lodgers, a most superior young man, who had been with them now for over three years and would not leave on any account. In fact, he had been their lodger in their old house, and when they moved he came with them to North Street, although it was farther away from his place of business than their former residence. Mrs Crass talked a lot more of the same sort of stuff, to which Ruth listened like one in a dream, and answered with an occasional yes or no.
The scene was so new and strange to Ruth that she felt dazed and confused. Before her marriage, she had never touched alcohol, but since then she had occasionally had a glass of beer with Easton during their Sunday dinners at home; usually, it was Easton who went out to buy the beer in a jug. A couple of times, she had bought it herself at an Off Licence beer shop near where they lived, but she had never been in a pub to drink. She felt so out of place and uncomfortable that she barely heard or understood Mrs. Crass, who chatted nonstop, mostly about the other people living in North Street where they both lived, and about Mr. Crass. She also promised Ruth that she would introduce her to Mr. Partaker, one of her two lodgers, if he came in, which he was almost sure to do. Mr. Partaker was a really great young man who had been living with them for over three years and wouldn’t leave for any reason. In fact, he had been their lodger in their old house, and when they moved, he came with them to North Street, even though it was farther from his job than their previous home. Mrs. Crass continued to talk about all this kind of stuff while Ruth listened like she was in a haze, responding with the occasional yes or no.
Meantime, Crass and Easton—the latter had deposited the string-bag on the seat at Ruth’s side—and the Semi-drunk and the Besotted Wretch, arranged to play a match of Hooks and Rings, the losers to pay for drinks for all the party, including the two women. Crass and the Semi-drunk tossed up for sides. Crass won and picked the Besotted Wretch, and the game began. It was a one-sided affair from the first, for Easton and the Semi-drunk were no match for the other two. The end of it was that Easton and his partner had to pay for the drinks. The four men had a pint each of four ale, and Mrs Crass had another threepennyworth of gin. Ruth protested that she did not want any more to drink, but the others ridiculed this, and both the Besotted Wretch and the Semi-drunk seemed to regard her unwillingness as a personal insult, so she allowed them to get her another half-pint of beer, which she was compelled to drink, because she was conscious that the others were watching her to see that she did so.
Meanwhile, Crass and Easton—the latter had put the string bag on the seat next to Ruth—and the Semi-drunk and the Besotted Wretch, decided to play a game of Hooks and Rings, with the losers buying drinks for everyone, including the two women. Crass and the Semi-drunk flipped a coin to choose sides. Crass won and selected the Besotted Wretch, and the game started. It quickly became clear it was one-sided, as Easton and the Semi-drunk couldn't keep up with the other two. In the end, Easton and his partner had to pay for the drinks. The four men each had a pint of ale, and Mrs. Crass ordered another threepennyworth of gin. Ruth objected, saying she didn’t want any more to drink, but the others mocked her, and both the Besotted Wretch and the Semi-drunk took her reluctance as a personal affront. So, she reluctantly let them buy her another half-pint of beer, which she felt forced to drink, aware that the others were watching her to make sure she did.
The Semi-drunk now suggested a return match. He wished to have his revenge. He was a little out of practice, he said, and was only just getting his hand in as they were finishing the other game. Crass and his partner readily assented, and in spite of Ruth’s whispered entreaty that they should return home without further delay, Easton insisted on joining the game.
The partially drunk guy now suggested a rematch. He wanted to get his revenge. He mentioned that he was a bit out of practice and was just starting to get the hang of it as they wrapped up the previous game. Crass and his partner happily agreed, and despite Ruth's quiet plea for them to head home right away, Easton insisted on joining the game.
Although they played more carefully than before, and notwithstanding the fact that the Besotted Wretch was very drunk, Easton and his partner were again beaten and once more had to pay for the drinks. The men had a pint each as before. Mrs Crass—upon whom the liquor so far seemed to have no effect—had another threepennyworth of gin; and Ruth consented to take another glass of beer on condition that Easton would come away directly their drinks were finished. Easton agreed to do so, but instead of keeping his word he began to play a four-handed game of shove-ha’penny with the other three, the sides and stakes being arranged as before.
Although they were playing more cautiously than before, and even though the Besotted Wretch was extremely drunk, Easton and his partner lost again and had to pay for the drinks once more. The men each had a pint again. Mrs. Crass—who so far didn’t seem affected by the alcohol—had another threepennyworth of gin; and Ruth agreed to have another glass of beer on the condition that Easton would leave as soon as their drinks were finished. Easton promised to do that, but instead of keeping his word, he started a four-handed game of shove-ha’penny with the other three, with the teams and bets set up as before.
The liquor was by this time beginning to have some effect upon Ruth: she felt dizzy and confused. Whenever it was necessary to reply to Mrs Crass’s talk she found some difficulty in articulating the words and she knew she was not answering very intelligently. Even when Mrs Crass introduced her to the interesting Mr Partaker, who arrived about this time, she was scarcely able to collect herself sufficiently to decline that fascinating gentleman’s invitation to have another drink with himself and Mrs Crass.
The alcohol was starting to affect Ruth: she felt dizzy and confused. Whenever she needed to respond to Mrs. Crass’s conversation, she struggled to get the words out and realized she wasn’t answering very smartly. Even when Mrs. Crass introduced her to the interesting Mr. Partaker, who showed up around this time, she could barely compose herself enough to decline that charming guy’s invitation to grab another drink with him and Mrs. Crass.
After a time a kind of terror took possession of her, and she resolved that if Easton would not come when he had finished the game he was playing, she would go home without him.
After a while, a kind of fear overcame her, and she decided that if Easton didn't come when he finished the game he was playing, she would go home without him.
Meantime the game of shove-ha’penny proceeded merrily, the majority of the male guests crowding round the board, applauding or censuring the players as occasion demanded. The Semi-drunk was in high glee, for Crass was not much of a hand at this game, and the Besotted Wretch, although playing well, was not able to make up for his partner’s want of skill. As the game drew near its end and it became more and more certain that his opponents would be defeated, the joy of the Semi-drunk was unbounded, and he challenged them to make it double or quits—a generous offer which they wisely declined, and shortly afterwards, seeing that their position was hopeless, they capitulated and prepared to pay the penalty of the vanquished.
Meanwhile, the game of shove-ha'penny continued happily, with most of the male guests gathering around the board, cheering or criticizing the players as needed. The Semi-drunk was in a great mood, because Crass wasn't very good at this game, and the Besotted Wretch, although playing well, couldn't compensate for his partner's lack of skill. As the game approached its end and it became clearer that his opponents were going to lose, the joy of the Semi-drunk was limitless, and he challenged them to make it double or nothing—a generous offer they wisely turned down. Shortly after, realizing that their situation was hopeless, they surrendered and prepared to face the consequences of their defeat.
Crass ordered the drinks and the Besotted Wretch paid half the damage—a pint of four ale for each of the men and the same as before for the ladies. The Old Dear executed the order, but by mistake, being very busy, he served two “threes” of gin instead of one. Ruth did not want any more at all, but she was afraid to say so, and she did not like to make any fuss about it being the wrong drink, especially as they all assured her that the spirits would do her more good than beer. She did not want either; she wanted to get away, and would have liked to empty the stuff out of the glass on the floor, but she was afraid that Mrs Crass or one of the others might see her doing so, and there might be some trouble about it. Anyway, it seemed easier to drink this small quantity of spirits and water than a big glass of beer, the very thought of which now made her feel ill. She drank the stuff which Easton handed to her at a single draught and, handing back the empty glass with a shudder, stood up resolutely.
Crass ordered the drinks, and the Besotted Wretch covered half the bill—a pint of ale for each of the guys and the same for the women. The Old Dear took care of the order, but in the chaos, he served two “threes” of gin instead of one. Ruth didn’t want any more at all, but she was too afraid to speak up, and she didn’t want to make a scene about the wrong drink, especially since everyone kept telling her that the spirits would be better for her than beer. She didn’t want either; she just wanted to leave and would have preferred to pour the drink out on the floor, but she worried that Mrs. Crass or someone else could see her do it, which might cause some drama. Anyway, it felt easier to down this small glass of spirits and water rather than a big glass of beer, the thought of which made her queasy. She gulped down what Easton handed her in one go and, shuddering as she returned the empty glass, stood up with determination.
“Are you coming home now? You promised you would,” she said.
“Are you coming home now? You promised you would,” she said.
“All right: presently,” replied Easton. “There’s plenty of time; it’s not nine yet.”
“All right, I'll be there soon,” replied Easton. “There's plenty of time; it's not even nine yet.”
“That doesn’t matter; it’s quite late enough. You know we’ve left the child at home alone in the house. You promised you’d come as soon as you’d finished that other game.”
“That doesn’t matter; it’s already late. You know we’ve left the kid home alone. You promised you’d come right after you finished that other game.”
“All right, all right,” answered Easton impatiently. “Just wait a minute, I want to see this, and then I’ll come.”
“All right, all right,” Easton replied, feeling impatient. “Just hold on for a second, I want to check this out, and then I’ll join you.”
“This” was a most interesting problem propounded by Crass, who had arranged eleven matches side by side on the shove-ha’penny board. The problem was to take none away and yet leave only nine. Nearly all the men in the bar were crowding round the shove-ha’penny board, some with knitted brows and drunken gravity trying to solve the puzzle and others waiting curiously for the result. Easton crossed over to see how it was done, and as none of the crowd were able to do the trick, Crass showed that it could be accomplished by simply arranging the eleven matches so as to form the word NINE. Everybody said it was very good indeed, very clever and interesting. But the Semi-drunk and the Besotted Wretch were reminded by this trick of several others equally good, and they proceeded to do them; and then the men had another pint each all round as a reviver after the mental strain of the last few minutes.
“This” was a really interesting problem posed by Crass, who had arranged eleven matches side by side on the shove-ha’penny board. The challenge was to take none away and still leave only nine. Most of the men in the bar crowded around the shove-ha’penny board, some with furrowed brows and serious expressions trying to solve the puzzle, while others waited curiously for the outcome. Easton walked over to see how it worked, and since none of the crowd could figure it out, Crass demonstrated that it could be done by simply arranging the eleven matches to spell the word NINE. Everyone agreed it was very clever and intriguing. But the Semi-drunk and the Besotted Wretch were reminded of several other equally good tricks, and they started performing them; then the men all had another pint each as a way to refresh themselves after the mental workout of the last few minutes.
Easton did not know any tricks himself, but he was an interested spectator of those done by several others until Ruth came over and touched his arm.
Easton didn't know any tricks himself, but he was a curious spectator of the ones done by several others until Ruth came over and touched his arm.
“Aren’t you coming?”
"Aren't you coming?"
“Wait a minute, can’t you?” cried Easton roughly. “What’s your hurry?”
“Wait a second, can’t you?” Easton said harshly. “What’s the rush?”
“I don’t want to stay here any longer,” said Ruth, hysterically. “You said you’d come as soon as you saw that trick. If you don’t come, I shall go home by myself. I don’t want to stay in this place any longer.”
“I don’t want to stay here any longer,” Ruth said, panicking. “You promised you’d come as soon as you saw that trick. If you don’t come, I’m going home by myself. I can’t stay in this place any longer.”
“Well, go by yourself if you want to!” shouted Easton fiercely, pushing her away from him. “I shall stop ’ere as long as I please, and if you don’t like it you can do the other thing.”
“Well, go on your own if that's what you want!” shouted Easton angrily, shoving her away from him. “I’ll stay here as long as I want, and if you don’t like it, you can deal with it.”
Ruth staggered and nearly fell from the force of the push he gave her, and the man turned again to the table to watch the Semi-drunk, who was arranging six matches so as to form the numeral XII, and who said he could prove that this was equal to a thousand.
Ruth stumbled and almost fell from the force of the shove he gave her, and the man turned back to the table to watch the semi-drunk guy, who was arranging six matches to form the number XII and claimed he could prove that this was equal to a thousand.
Ruth waited a few minutes longer, and then as Easton took no further notice of her, she took up the string-bag and the other parcels, and without staying to say good night to Mrs Crass—who was earnestly conversing with the interesting Partaker—she with some difficulty opened the door and went out into the street. The cold night air felt refreshing and sweet after the foul atmosphere of the public house, but after a little while she began to feel faint and dizzy, and was conscious also that she was walking unsteadily, and she fancied that people stared at her strangely as they passed. The parcels felt very heavy and awkward to carry, and the string-bag seemed as if it were filled with lead.
Ruth waited a few more minutes, and when Easton didn’t pay her any more attention, she picked up the string bag and the other packages. Without bothering to say goodnight to Mrs. Crass—who was deeply engaged in conversation with the intriguing Partaker—she struggled a bit to open the door and stepped out into the street. The cold night air felt refreshing and sweet after the unpleasant atmosphere of the pub, but after a little while, she started to feel faint and dizzy. She also realized that she was walking unsteadily, and it seemed like people were staring at her strangely as they passed by. The packages felt very heavy and awkward to carry, and the string bag felt like it was filled with lead.
Although under ordinary circumstances it was only about ten minutes’ walk home from here, she resolved to go by one of the trams which passed by the end of North Street. With this intention, she put down her bag on the pavement at the stopping-place, and waited, resting her hand on the iron pillar at the corner of the street, where a little crowd of people were standing evidently with the same object as herself. Two trains passed without stopping, for they were already full of passengers, a common circumstance on Saturday nights. The next one stopped, and several persons alighted, and then ensued a fierce struggle amongst the waiting crowd for the vacant seats. Men and women pushed, pulled and almost fought, shoving their fists and elbows into each other’s sides and breasts and faces. Ruth was quickly thrust aside and nearly knocked down, and the tram, having taken aboard as many passengers as it had accommodation for, passed on. She waited for the next one, and the same scene was enacted with the same result for her, and then, reflecting that if she had not stayed for these trams she might have been home by now, she determined to resume her walk. The parcels felt heavier than ever, and she had not proceeded very far before she was compelled to put the bag down again upon the pavement, outside an empty house.
Although it usually took about ten minutes to walk home from here, she decided to take one of the trams that passed by the end of North Street. With that in mind, she set her bag down on the pavement at the stop and waited, resting her hand on the iron pole at the corner of the street, where a small crowd of people was clearly waiting for the same thing. Two trams passed without stopping since they were already full of passengers, which was a common occurrence on Saturday nights. The next one did stop, and several people got off, leading to a fierce scramble among the waiting crowd for the open seats. Men and women pushed, pulled, and almost fought, jabbing their fists and elbows into each other's sides and faces. Ruth was quickly shoved aside and nearly knocked over, and the tram, having taken on as many passengers as it could, continued on. She waited for the next one, and the same scene played out with the same result for her. Then, realizing that if she hadn’t waited for these trams, she could have been home by now, she decided to start walking again. The parcels felt heavier than ever, and she hadn’t gone very far before she had to set the bag down again on the pavement, outside an empty house.
Leaning against the railings, she felt very tired and ill. Everything around her—the street, the houses, the traffic—seemed vague and shadowy and unreal. Several people looked curiously at her as they passed, but by this time she was scarcely conscious of their scrutiny.
Leaning against the railing, she felt really tired and sick. Everything around her—the street, the houses, the traffic—seemed fuzzy and shadowy and unreal. Several people glanced at her with curiosity as they walked by, but by then she was hardly aware of their gaze.
Slyme had gone that evening to the usual “open-air” conducted by the Shining Light Mission. The weather being fine, they had a most successful meeting, the disciples, including Hunter, Rushton, Sweater, Didlum, and Mrs Starvem—Ruth’s former mistress—assembled in great force so as to be able to deal more effectively with any infidels or hired critics or drunken scoffers who might try to disturb the proceedings; and—possibly as an evidence of how much real faith there was in them—they had also arranged to have a police officer in attendance, to protect them from what they called the “Powers of Darkness”. One might be excused for thinking that—if they really believed—they would have relied rather upon those powers of Light which they professed to represent on this planet to protect them without troubling to call in the aid of such a “worldly” force as the police. However, it came to pass that on this occasion the only infidels present were those who were conducting the meeting, but as these consisted for the most part of members of the chapel, it will be seen that the infidel fraternity was strongly represented.
Slyme had gone that evening to the usual “open-air” service organized by the Shining Light Mission. With the weather being nice, they had a very successful meeting. The followers, including Hunter, Rushton, Sweater, Didlum, and Mrs. Starvem—Ruth’s old mistress—showed up in large numbers to handle any non-believers, critics, or drunk hecklers who might try to disrupt the event. They had even decided to have a police officer present for protection against what they called the “Powers of Darkness.” One could think that—if they truly believed—they would have relied more on the powers of Light they claimed to represent on this planet, instead of calling in a “worldly” force like the police. However, it turned out that on this occasion, the only non-believers present were those running the meeting. Since most of them were chapel members, it’s clear that the non-believer group was well represented.
On his way home after the meeting Slyme had to pass by the “Cricketers” and as he drew near the place he wondered if Easton was there, but he did not like to go and look in, because he was afraid someone might see him coming away and perhaps think he had been in to drink. Just as he arrived opposite the house another man opened the door of the public bar and entered, enabling Slyme to catch a momentary glimpse of the interior, where he saw Easton and Crass with a number of others who were strangers to him, laughing and drinking together.
On his way home after the meeting, Slyme had to walk past the “Cricketers,” and as he got closer, he wondered if Easton was inside. However, he didn’t want to look in because he was worried someone might see him leave and think he had been drinking. Just as he reached in front of the bar, another man opened the door and went inside, allowing Slyme to get a quick glimpse of the interior, where he saw Easton and Crass along with several others he didn’t know, laughing and drinking together.
Slyme hurried away; it had turned very cold, and he was anxious to get home. As he approached the place where the trams stopped to take up passengers and saw that there was a tram in sight he resolved to wait for it and ride home: but when the tram arrived there were only one or two seats vacant, and although he did his best to secure one of these he was unsuccessful, and after a moment’s hesitation he decided that it would be quicker to walk than to wait for the next one. He accordingly resumed his journey, but he had not gone very far when he saw a small crowd of people on the pavement on the other side of the road outside an unoccupied house, and although he was in a hurry to get home he crossed over to see what was the matter. There were about twenty people standing there, and in the centre close to the railing there were three or four women whom Slyme could not see although he could hear their voices.
Slyme hurried away; it had become really cold, and he was eager to get home. As he got closer to the tram stop, he spotted a tram coming, so he decided to wait for it to ride home. However, when the tram arrived, there were only one or two seats available, and despite his efforts to grab one, he wasn’t able to. After a brief hesitation, he concluded that walking would be faster than waiting for the next tram. He continued on his way, but not long after, he noticed a small crowd of people on the sidewalk across the street in front of an empty house. Even though he was in a hurry to get home, he crossed the street to see what was happening. There were about twenty people gathered, and in the middle, near the railing, were three or four women whose voices he could hear, but he couldn't see them.
“What’s up?” he inquired of a man on the edge of the crowd.
“What's up?” he asked a man on the edge of the crowd.
“Oh, nothing much,” returned the other. “Some young woman; she’s either ill, come over faint, or something—or else she’s had a drop too much.”
“Oh, not much,” the other replied. “Just some young woman; she’s either sick, feeling lightheaded, or something—or maybe she’s had a bit too much to drink.”
“Quite a respectable-looking young party, too,” said another man.
"Looks like a pretty respectable young group, too," said another man.
Several young fellows in the crowd were amusing themselves by making suggestive jokes about the young woman and causing some laughter by the expressions of mock sympathy.
Several young guys in the crowd were having fun by making suggestive jokes about the young woman and getting some laughs with their exaggerated expressions of fake sympathy.
“Doesn’t anyone know who she is?” said the second man who had spoken in reply to Slyme’s inquiry.
“Doesn’t anyone know who she is?” said the second man who responded to Slyme’s question.
“No,” said a woman who was standing a little nearer the middle of the crowd. “And she won’t say where she lives.”
“No,” said a woman who was standing a bit closer to the center of the crowd. “And she won’t say where she lives.”
“She’ll be all right now she’s had that glass of soda,” said another man, elbowing his way out of the crowd. As this individual came out, Slyme managed to work himself a little further into the group of people, and he uttered an involuntary cry of astonishment as he caught sight of Ruth, very pale, and looking very ill, as she stood clasping one of the railings with her left hand and holding the packages of groceries in the other. She had by this time recovered sufficiently to feel overwhelmed with shame and confusion before the crowd of strangers who hemmed her in on every side, and some of whom she could hear laughing and joking about her. It was therefore with a sensation of intense relief and gratitude that she saw Slyme’s familiar face and heard his friendly voice as he forced his way through to her side.
“She’ll be fine now that she’s had that glass of soda,” said another man, pushing his way out of the crowd. As he came out, Slyme managed to squeeze a little further into the group of people, and he let out an involuntary cry of surprise when he saw Ruth, very pale and looking really unwell, standing with one hand gripping one of the railings and holding the grocery bags in the other. By this time, she had recovered enough to feel deeply ashamed and confused in front of the crowd of strangers surrounding her, some of whom she could hear laughing and joking about her. So, she felt a wave of intense relief and gratitude when she saw Slyme’s familiar face and heard his friendly voice as he pushed through to her side.
“I can walk home all right now,” she stammered in reply to his anxious questioning. “If you wouldn’t mind carrying some of these things for me.”
“I can walk home fine now,” she stammered in response to his worried questioning. “If you wouldn’t mind carrying some of these things for me.”
He insisted on taking all the parcels, and the crowd, having jumped to the conclusion that he was the young woman’s husband began to dwindle away, one of the jokers remarking “It’s all over!” in a loud voice as he took himself off.
He insisted on taking all the packages, and the crowd, having assumed he was the young woman’s husband, started to thin out, with one of the jokers shouting, “It’s all over!” as he left.
It was only about seven minutes’ walk home from there, and as the streets along which they had to pass were not very brilliantly lighted, Ruth was able to lean on Slyme’s arm most of the way. When they arrived home, after she had removed her hat, he made her sit down in the armchair by the fire, which was burning brightly, and the kettle was singing on the hob, for she had banked up the fire with cinders and small coal before she went out.
It was only about a seven-minute walk home from there, and since the streets they passed through weren’t very well lit, Ruth leaned on Slyme’s arm for most of the way. When they got home, after she took off her hat, he made her sit down in the armchair by the fire, which was burning brightly, and the kettle was whistling on the stove because she had piled up the fire with cinders and small coal before she went out.
The baby was still asleep in the cradle, but his slumbers had evidently not been of the most restful kind, for he had kicked all the bedclothes off him and was lying all uncovered. Ruth obeyed passively when Slyme told her to sit down, and, lying back languidly in the armchair, she watched him through half-closed eyes and with a slight flush on her face as he deftly covered the sleeping child with the bedclothes and settled him more comfortably in the cot.
The baby was still asleep in the crib, but it was clear he hadn't been sleeping very well, since he had kicked all the blankets off and was lying completely uncovered. Ruth complied quietly when Slyme instructed her to sit down, and as she relaxed back in the armchair, she watched him with half-open eyes and a slight blush on her face while he skillfully covered the sleeping child with the blankets and made him more comfortable in the crib.
Slyme now turned his attention to the fire, and as he placed the kettle upon it he remarked: “As soon as the water boils I’ll make you some strong tea.”
Slyme now focused on the fire, and as he set the kettle on it, he said: “As soon as the water boils, I’ll make you some strong tea.”
During their walk home she had acquainted Slyme with the cause of her being in the condition in which he found her in the street, and as she reclined in the armchair, drowsily watching him, she wondered what would have happened to her if he had not passed by when he did.
During their walk home, she had explained to Slyme why she was in the situation he found her in on the street, and as she relaxed in the armchair, drowsily watching him, she wondered what would have happened to her if he hadn't walked by when he did.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked, looking down at her.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked, looking down at her.
“Yes, thanks. I feel quite well now; but I’m afraid I’ve given you a lot of trouble.”
“Yes, thanks. I'm feeling much better now; but I’m afraid I’ve caused you a lot of trouble.”
“No, you haven’t. Nothing I can do for you is a trouble to me. But don’t you think you’d better take your jacket off? Here, let me help you.”
“No, you haven’t. Helping you isn’t a hassle for me at all. But don’t you think it’s better to take your jacket off? Here, let me help you with that.”
It took a very long time to get this jacket off, because whilst he was helping her, Slyme kissed her repeatedly and passionately as she lay limp and unresisting in his arms.
It took a long time to get this jacket off because, while he was helping her, Slyme kissed her over and over, passionately, as she lay there limp and unresisting in his arms.
Chapter 25
The Oblong
During the following week the work at “The Cave” progressed rapidly towards completion, although, the hours of daylight being so few, the men worked only from 8 A.M. till 4 P.M. and they had their breakfasts before they came. This made 40 hours a week, so that those who were paid sevenpence an hour earned £1.3.4. Those who got sixpence-halfpenny drew £1.1.8. Those whose wages were fivepence an hour were paid the princely sum of 16/8d. for their week’s hard labour, and those whose rate was fourpence-halfpenny “picked up” 15/-.
During the next week, work at “The Cave” moved quickly toward completion. However, since there were only a few hours of daylight, the men worked from 8 A.M. to 4 P.M., and they had their breakfasts before arriving. This added up to 40 hours a week, so those who were paid seven pence an hour earned £1.3.4. Those who got six and a half pence made £1.1.8. Those earning five pence an hour received the respectable sum of 16/8d for a week of hard work, and those at four and a half pence “picked up” 15/-.
And yet there are people who have the insolence to say that Drink is the cause of poverty.
And yet there are people who have the audacity to claim that drinking is the cause of poverty.
And many of the persons who say this, spend more money than that on drink themselves—every day of their useless lives.
And many of the people who say this spend more money than that on drinks themselves—every day of their pointless lives.
By Tuesday night all the inside was finished with the exception of the kitchen and scullery. The painting of the kitchen had been delayed owing to the non-arrival of the new cooking range, and the scullery was still used as the paint shop. The outside work was also nearly finished: all the first coating was done and the second coating was being proceeded with. According to the specification, all the outside woodwork was supposed to have three coats, and the guttering, rain-pipes and other ironwork two coats, but Crass and Hunter had arranged to make two coats do for most of the windows and woodwork, and all the ironwork was to be made to do with one coat only. The windows were painted in two colours: the sashes dark green and the frames white. All the rest—gables, doors, railings, guttering, etc.—was dark green; and all the dark green paint was made with boiled linseed oil and varnish; no turpentine being allowed to be used on this part of the work.
By Tuesday night, everything inside was done except for the kitchen and the scullery. The kitchen painting was postponed because the new cooking range hadn’t arrived, and the scullery was still being used as a paint shop. The exterior work was also almost complete: the first coat was finished, and they were working on the second coat. According to the specifications, all the outside woodwork was supposed to get three coats, while the guttering, rain pipes, and other metalwork were to have two coats, but Crass and Hunter decided to only do two coats for most of the windows and woodwork, and all the metalwork would only get one coat. The windows were painted in two colors: the sashes were dark green and the frames were white. Everything else—gables, doors, railings, guttering, etc.—was dark green, and all the dark green paint was made with boiled linseed oil and varnish; no turpentine was allowed for this part of the work.
“This is some bloody fine stuff to ’ave to use, ain’t it?” remarked Harlow to Philpot on Wednesday morning. “It’s more like a lot of treacle than anything else.”
“This is some really great stuff to have, isn’t it?” Harlow said to Philpot on Wednesday morning. “It’s more like a lot of syrup than anything else.”
“Yes: and it won’t arf blister next summer when it gets a bit of sun on it,” replied Philpot with a grin.
“Yeah: and it’s going to really blister next summer when it sees some sun,” replied Philpot with a grin.
“I suppose they’re afraid that if they was to put a little turps in, it wouldn’t bear out, and they’d ’ave to give it another coat.”
“I guess they’re worried that if they put a little turps in, it wouldn’t hold up, and they’d have to apply another coat.”
“You can bet yer life that’s the reason,” said Philpot. “But all the same I mean to pinch a drop to put in mine as soon as Crass is gorn.”
“You can bet your life that’s the reason,” said Philpot. “But still, I plan to sneak a little to add to mine as soon as Crass is gone.”
“Gorn where?”
"Go where?"
“Why, didn’t you know? there’s another funeral on today? Didn’t you see that corfin plate what Owen was writing in the drorin’-room last Saturday morning?”
“Why, didn’t you know? There’s another funeral today? Didn’t you see that coffin plate that Owen was working on in the drawing-room last Saturday morning?”
“No, I wasn’t ’ere. Don’t you remember I was sent away to do a ceilin’ and a bit of painting over at Windley?”
“No, I wasn’t here. Don’t you remember I was sent away to do a ceiling and do some painting over at Windley?”
“Oh, of course; I forgot,” exclaimed Philpot.
“Oh, of course; I totally forgot,” exclaimed Philpot.
“I reckon Crass and Slyme must be making a small fortune out of all these funerals,” said Harlow. “This makes the fourth in the last fortnight. What is it they gets for ’em?”
“I think Crass and Slyme are probably making a pretty good amount of money from all these funerals,” said Harlow. “This is the fourth one in the last two weeks. How much do they charge for them?”
“A shillin’ for taking” ’ome the corfin and liftin’ in the corpse, and four bob for the funeral—five bob altogether.”
“A shilling for bringing home the coffin and lifting in the body, and four shillings for the funeral—five shillings altogether.”
“That’s a bit of all right, ain’t it?” said Harlow. “A couple of them in a week besides your week’s wages, eh? Five bob for two or three hours work!”
"That's not bad at all, is it?" said Harlow. "A couple of those in a week on top of your weekly pay, right? Five bucks for two or three hours of work!"
“Yes, the money’s all right, mate, but they’re welcome to it for my part. I don’t want to go messin’ about with no corpses,” replied Philpot with a shudder.
“Yeah, the money’s fine, buddy, but they can have it as far as I’m concerned. I’m not interested in messing around with any dead bodies,” Philpot replied with a shudder.
“Who is this last party what’s dead?” asked Harlow after a pause.
“Who is this last person who’s dead?” asked Harlow after a pause.
“It’s a parson what used to belong to the ‘Shining Light’ Chapel. He’d been abroad for ’is ’ollerdays—to Monte Carlo. It seems ’e was ill before ’e went away, but the change did ’im a lot of good; in fact, ’e was quite recovered, and ’e was coming back again. But while ’e was standin’ on the platform at Monte Carlo Station waitin’ for the train, a porter runned into ’im with a barrer load o’ luggage, and ’e blowed up.”
“It’s a pastor who used to belong to the ‘Shining Light’ Chapel. He had been abroad for his holidays—to Monte Carlo. It seems he was sick before he went away, but the change did him a lot of good; in fact, he was completely recovered and was coming back again. But while he was standing on the platform at Monte Carlo Station waiting for the train, a porter ran into him with a barrow loaded with luggage, and he lost his temper.”
“Blowed up?”
"Blew up?"
“Yes,” repeated Philpot. “Blowed up! Busted! Exploded! All into pieces. But they swep” ’em all up and put it in a corfin and it’s to be planted this afternoon.”
“Yes,” Philpot said again. “Blown up! Blasted! Exploded! Totally destroyed. But they cleaned it all up and put it in a coffin, and it’s going to be buried this afternoon.”
Harlow maintained an awestruck silence, and Philpot continued:
Harlow stayed silent in amazement, and Philpot went on:
“I had a drink the other night with a butcher bloke what used to serve this parson with meat, and we was talkin’ about what a strange sort of death it was, but ’e said ’e wasn’t at all surprised to ’ear of it; the only thing as ’e wondered at was that the man didn’t blow up long ago, considerin’ the amount of grub as ’e used to make away with. He ses the quantities of stuff as ’e’s took there and seen other tradesmen take was something chronic. Tons of it!”
“I had a drink the other night with a butcher who used to supply meat to this priest, and we were talking about what a strange kind of death it was. But he said he wasn’t surprised to hear about it at all; the only thing he wondered was why the man didn’t blow up a long time ago, considering how much food he used to eat. He said the amounts of stuff he’s seen there and other tradesmen take were unbelievable. Tons of it!”
“What was the parson’s name?” asked Harlow.
“What was the pastor's name?” Harlow asked.
“Belcher. You must ’ave noticed ’im about the town. A very fat chap,” replied Philpot. “I’m sorry you wasn’t ’ere on Saturday to see the corfin plate. Frank called me in to see the wordin’ when ’e’d finished it. It had on: ‘Jonydab Belcher. Born January 1st, 1849. Ascended, December 8th, 19—’”
“Belcher. You must have seen him around town. A really fat guy,” replied Philpot. “I’m sorry you weren’t here on Saturday to check out the coffin plate. Frank called me in to see the wording when he finished it. It read: ‘Jonydab Belcher. Born January 1st, 1849. Ascended, December 8th, 19—’”
“Oh, I know the bloke now!” cried Harlow. “I remember my youngsters bringin’ ’ome a subscription list what they’d got up at the Sunday School to send ’im away for a ’ollerday because ’e was ill, and I gave ’em a penny each to put on their cards because I didn’t want ’em to feel mean before the other young ’uns.”
“Oh, I know the guy now!” shouted Harlow. “I remember my kids bringing home a subscription list they started at Sunday School to send him away on holiday because he was sick, and I gave them a penny each to put on their cards because I didn’t want them to feel cheap in front of the other kids.”
“Yes, it’s the same party. Two or three young ’uns asked me to give ’em something to put on at the time. And I see they’ve got another subscription list on now. I met one of Newman’s children yesterday and she showed it to me. It’s for an entertainment and a Christmas Tree for all the children what goes to the Sunday School, so I didn’t mind giving just a trifle for anything like that.”...
“Yes, it’s the same party. A couple of kids asked me to give them something to wear at the time. And I see they have another subscription list out now. I ran into one of Newman’s kids yesterday and she showed it to me. It’s for an event and a Christmas Tree for all the children who go to the Sunday School, so I didn’t mind contributing a little for something like that.”
“Seems to be gettin’ colder, don’t it?”
“Looks like it's getting colder, doesn’t it?”
“It’s enough to freeze the ears orf a brass monkey!” remarked Easton as he descended from a ladder close by and, placing his pot of paint on the pound, began to try to warm his hands by rubbing and beating them together.
“It’s cold enough to freeze the ears off a brass monkey!” Easton said as he came down from a nearby ladder and, setting his pot of paint on the ground, began rubbing his hands together to warm them up.
He was trembling, and his teeth were chattering with cold.
He was shivering, and his teeth were clattering from the cold.
“I could just do with a nice pint of beer, now,” he said as he stamped his feet on the pound.
“I could really go for a nice cold beer right now,” he said as he stamped his feet on the ground.
“That’s just what I was thinkin’,” said Philpot, wistfully, “and what’s more, I mean to ’ave one, too, at dinner-time. I shall nip down to the ‘Cricketers’. Even if I don’t get back till a few minutes after one, it won’t matter, because Crass and Nimrod will be gorn to the funeral.”
"That's exactly what I was thinking," said Philpot, with a hint of longing, "and what's more, I'm planning to have one, too, at dinner time. I'm going to run down to the 'Cricketers'. Even if I don't get back until a few minutes after one, it won't matter because Crass and Nimrod will be gone to the funeral."
“Will you bring me a pint back with you, in a bottle?” asked Easton.
“Can you bring me a pint in a bottle when you come back?” asked Easton.
“Yes, certainly,” said Philpot.
"Absolutely," said Philpot.
Harlow said nothing. He also would have liked a pint of beer, but, as was usual with him, he had not the necessary cash. Having restored the circulation to a certain extent, they now resumed their work, and only just in time, for a few minutes afterwards they observed Misery peeping round the corner of the house at them and they wondered how long he had been there, and whether he had overheard their conversation.
Harlow didn’t say anything. He also would have liked a beer, but, as usual for him, he didn’t have enough cash. After getting their circulation going again, they went back to work, just in time, because a few minutes later, they saw Misery peeking around the corner of the house at them. They wondered how long he had been there and if he had heard their conversation.
At twelve o’clock Crass and Slyme cleared off in a great hurry, and a little while afterwards, Philpot took off his apron and put on his coat to go to the “Cricketers”. When the others found out where he was going, several of them asked him to bring back a drink for them, and then someone suggested that all those who wanted some beer should give twopence each. This was done: one shilling and fourpence was collected and given to Philpot, who was to bring back a gallon of beer in a jar. He promised to get back as soon as ever he could, and some of the shareholders decided not to drink any tea with their dinners, but to wait for the beer, although they knew that it would be nearly time to resume work before he could get back. It would be a quarter to one at the very earliest.
At noon, Crass and Slyme hurried off, and shortly after, Philpot took off his apron and put on his coat to head to the “Cricketers.” When the others found out where he was going, several of them asked him to grab a drink for them, and then someone suggested that anyone who wanted beer should chip in two pence each. This was done: they collected one shilling and four pence and handed it to Philpot, who was supposed to bring back a gallon of beer in a jar. He promised to return as quickly as he could, and some of the shareholders decided not to have tea with their dinners, opting to wait for the beer, even though they knew it would be almost time to get back to work by the time he returned. It would be a quarter to one at the earliest.
The minutes dragged slowly by, and after a while the only man on the job who had a watch began to lose his temper and refused to answer any more inquiries concerning the time. So presently Bert was sent up to the top of the house to look at a church clock which was visible therefrom, and when he came down he reported that it was ten minutes to one.
The minutes passed painfully slow, and eventually, the only guy on the job with a watch started to lose his cool and stopped answering questions about the time. So, eventually, Bert was sent to the top of the house to check a church clock that could be seen from there, and when he came back down, he reported that it was ten minutes to one.
Symptoms of anxiety now began to manifest themselves amongst the shareholders, several of whom went down to the main road to see if Philpot was yet in sight, but each returned with the same report—they could see nothing of him.
Symptoms of anxiety started showing up among the shareholders, several of whom went down to the main road to check if Philpot was in sight yet, but each returned with the same report—they couldn’t see him at all.
No one was formally “in charge” of the job during Crass’s absence, but they all returned to their work promptly at one because they feared that Sawkins or some other sneak might report any irregularity to Crass or Misery.
No one was officially “in charge” of the job while Crass was gone, but they all got back to work right at one because they were worried that Sawkins or some other snitch might tell Crass or Misery about any problems.
At a quarter-past one, Philpot was still missing and the uneasiness of the shareholders began to develop into a panic. Some of them plainly expressed the opinion that he had gone on the razzle with the money. As the time wore on, this became the general opinion. At two o’clock, all hope of his return having been abandoned, two or three of the shareholders went and drank some of the cold tea.
At 1:15, Philpot was still missing, and the shareholders' unease started to turn into a panic. Some openly suggested that he had taken off with the money. As time went on, this idea became the common belief. By 2:00, with all hope of his return gone, a couple of shareholders went to have some cold tea.
Their fears were only too well founded, for they saw no more of Philpot till the next morning, when he arrived looking very sheepish and repentant and promised to refund all the money on Saturday. He also made a long, rambling statement from which it appeared that on his way to the “Cricketers” he met a couple of chaps whom he knew who were out of work, and he invited them to come and have a drink. When they got to the pub, they found there the Semi-drunk and the Besotted Wretch. One drink led to another, and then they started arguing, and he had forgotten all about the gallon of beer until he woke up this morning.
Their fears were completely justified because they didn’t see Philpot again until the next morning. He showed up looking embarrassed and sorry, promising to pay back all the money by Saturday. He also gave a long, rambling explanation, saying that on his way to the "Cricketers," he ran into a couple of friends who were unemployed, and he invited them for a drink. Once they got to the pub, they found the Semi-drunk and the Besotted Wretch there. One drink led to another, and then they started arguing, and he completely forgot about the gallon of beer until he woke up this morning.
Whilst Philpot was making this explanation they were putting on their aprons and blouses, and Crass was serving out the lots of colour. Slyme took no part in the conversation, but got ready as quickly as possible and went outside to make a start. The reason for this haste soon became apparent to some of the others, for they noticed that he had selected and commenced painting a large window that was so situated as to be sheltered from the keen wind that was blowing.
While Philpot was explaining this, they were putting on their aprons and blouses, and Crass was handing out the colors. Slyme didn’t join the conversation but hurried to get ready and went outside to begin his work. The reason for his rush quickly became clear to some of the others, as they saw that he had chosen and started painting a large window that was positioned to be protected from the chilly wind that was blowing.
The basement of the house was slightly below the level of the ground and there was a sort of a trench or area about three feet deep in front of the basement windows. The banks of this trench were covered with rose trees and evergreens, and the bottom was a mass of slimy, evil-smelling, rain-sodden earth, foul with the excrement of nocturnal animals. To second-coat these basement windows, Philpot and Harlow had to get down into and stand in all this filth, which soaked through the worn and broken soles of their boots. As they worked, the thorns of the rose trees caught and tore their clothing and lacerated the flesh of their half-frozen hands.
The basement of the house was slightly below ground level, and there was a trench about three feet deep in front of the basement windows. The sides of this trench were lined with rose bushes and evergreens, while the bottom was a disgusting, smelly, rain-soaked mass of dirt, tainted with the waste of nighttime animals. To apply a second coat to these basement windows, Philpot and Harlow had to get down into this muck, which seeped through the worn-out soles of their boots. As they worked, the thorns from the rose bushes snagged and ripped their clothes and sliced into the skin of their half-frozen hands.
Owen and Easton were working on ladders doing the windows immediately above Philpot and Harlow, Sawkins, on another ladder, was painting one of the gables, and the other men were working at different parts of the outside of the house. The boy Bert was painting the iron railings of the front fence. The weather was bitterly cold, the sun was concealed by the dreary expanse of grey cloud that covered the wintry sky.
Owen and Easton were on ladders cleaning the windows just above Philpot and Harlow. Sawkins, on another ladder, was painting one of the gables, and the other guys were working on different parts of the outside of the house. The boy Bert was painting the iron railings of the front fence. The weather was freezing, and the sun was hidden behind the dull gray clouds that covered the winter sky.
As they stood there working most of the time they were almost perfectly motionless, the only part of their bodies that were exercised being their right arms. The work they were now doing required to be done very carefully and deliberately, otherwise the glass would be “messed up” or the white paint of the frames would “run into” the dark green of the sashes, both colours being wet at the same time, each man having two pots of paint and two sets of brushes. The wind was not blowing in sudden gusts, but swept by in a strong, persistent current that penetrated their clothing and left them trembling and numb with cold. It blew from the right; and it was all the worse on that account, because the right arm, being in use, left that side of the body fully exposed. They were able to keep their left hands in their trousers pockets and the left arm close to the side most of the time. This made a lot of difference.
As they stood there working most of the time, they were almost completely still, with only their right arms in motion. The job they were doing needed to be done very carefully and deliberately; otherwise, the glass could get “messed up” or the white paint on the frames might “run into” the dark green of the sashes, both colors being wet at the same time. Each man had two pots of paint and two sets of brushes. The wind wasn't blowing in sudden gusts but was a strong, steady current that cut through their clothes and left them shivering and numb with cold. It blew from the right, making it worse since the right arm was in use, leaving that side of their bodies fully exposed. They managed to keep their left hands in their trouser pockets and their left arms close to their sides most of the time, which made a big difference.
Another reason why it is worse when the wind strikes upon one from the right side is that the buttons on a man’s coat are always on the right side, and consequently the wind gets underneath. Philpot realized this all the more because some of the buttons on his coat and waistcoat were missing.
Another reason why it feels worse when the wind hits you from the right side is that the buttons on a man's coat are usually on the right, so the wind gets underneath. Philpot noticed this even more because some of the buttons on his coat and waistcoat were missing.
As they worked on, trembling with cold, and with their teeth chattering, their faces and hands became of that pale violet colour generally seen on the lips of a corpse. Their eyes became full of water and the lids were red and inflamed. Philpot’s and Harlow’s boots were soon wet through, with the water they absorbed from the damp ground, and their feet were sore and intensely painful with cold.
As they continued to work, shivering from the cold and with their teeth chattering, their faces and hands turned a pale violet color usually seen on a corpse's lips. Their eyes filled with tears, and their eyelids were red and swollen. Philpot's and Harlow's boots were quickly soaked from the damp ground, leaving their feet sore and extremely painful from the cold.
Their hands, of course, suffered the most, becoming so numbed that they were unable to feel the brushes they held; in fact, presently, as Philpot was taking a dip of colour, the brush fell from his hand into the pot; and then, finding that he was unable to move his fingers, he put his hand into his trousers pocket to thaw, and began to walk about, stamping his feet upon the ground. His example was quickly followed by Owen, Easton and Harlow, and they all went round the corner to the sheltered side of the house where Slyme was working, and began walking up and down, rubbing their hands, stamping their feet and swinging their arms to warm themselves.
Their hands, of course, suffered the most, becoming so numb that they couldn’t feel the brushes they were holding; in fact, just then, as Philpot was dipping his brush in color, it slipped from his hand and fell into the pot. Realizing he couldn’t move his fingers, he shoved his hand into his trouser pocket to warm it up, and started walking around, stomping his feet on the ground. Owen, Easton, and Harlow quickly followed his lead, and they all headed around the corner to the sheltered side of the house where Slyme was working. They began walking back and forth, rubbing their hands, stomping their feet, and swinging their arms to get warm.
“If I thought Nimrod wasn’t comin’, I’d put my overcoat on and work in it,” remarked Philpot, “but you never knows when to expect the b—r, and if ’e saw me in it, it would mean the bloody push.”
“If I thought Nimrod wasn’t coming, I’d put my overcoat on and work in it,” Philpot said, “but you never know when to expect the bastard, and if he saw me in it, it would mean the hell.”
“It wouldn’t interfere with our workin’ if we did wear ’em,” said Easton; “in fact, we’d be able to work all the quicker if we wasn’t so cold.”
“It wouldn’t mess with our work if we wore them,” Easton said; “in fact, we’d be able to work even faster if we weren’t so cold.”
“Even if Misery didn’t come, I suppose Crass would ’ave something to say if we did put ’em on,” continued Philpot.
“Even if Misery didn’t show up, I guess Crass would still have something to say if we did put them on,” Philpot continued.
“Well, yer couldn’t blame ’im if ’e did say something, could yer?” said Slyme, offensively. “Crass would get into a row ’imself if ’Unter came and saw us workin’ in overcoats. It would look ridiclus.”
“Well, you couldn’t blame him if he did say something, could you?” said Slyme, rudely. “Crass would get into trouble himself if Hunter came and saw us working in overcoats. It would look ridiculous.”
Slyme suffered less from the cold than any of them, not only because he had secured the most sheltered window, but also because he was better clothed than most of the rest.
Slyme felt the cold less than anyone else, not just because he had the most protected window, but also because he was dressed better than most of the others.
“What’s Crass supposed to be doin’ inside?” asked Easton as he tramped up and down, with his shoulders hunched up and his hands thrust deep into the pockets of his trousers.
“What’s Crass supposed to be doing inside?” asked Easton as he paced back and forth, with his shoulders hunched and his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
“Blowed if I know,” replied Philpot. “Messin’ about touchin’ up or makin’ colour. He never does ’is share of a job like this; ’e knows ’ow to work things all right for ’isself.”
“Honestly, I have no idea,” replied Philpot. “Messing around with touch-ups or colors. He never does his part in a job like this; he knows how to handle things to benefit himself.”
“What if ’e does? We’d be the same if we was in ’is place, and so would anybody else,” said Slyme, and added sarcastically: “Or p’haps you’d give all the soft jobs to other people and do all the rough yerself!”
“What if he does? We’d be the same if we were in his shoes, and so would anyone else,” said Slyme, and added sarcastically, “Or maybe you’d give all the easy jobs to other people and do all the hard work yourself!”
Slyme knew that, although they were speaking of Crass, they were also alluding to himself, and as he replied to Philpot he looked slyly at Owen, who had so far taken no part in the conversation.
Slyme knew that even though they were talking about Crass, they were also hinting at him. As he responded to Philpot, he shot a sly glance at Owen, who hadn't gotten involved in the conversation so far.
“It’s not a question of what we would do,” chimed in Harlow. “It’s a question of what’s fair. If it’s not fair for Crass to pick all the soft jobs for ’imself and leave all the rough for others, the fact that we might do the same if we ’ad the chance don’t make it right.”
“It’s not about what we would do,” Harlow interjected. “It’s about what’s fair. If it’s not fair for Crass to take all the easy jobs for himself and leave all the hard ones for others, the fact that we might do the same if we had the chance doesn’t make it right.”
“No one can be blamed for doing the best he can for himself under existing circumstances,” said Owen in reply to Slyme’s questioning look. “That is the principle of the present system—every man for himself and the devil take the rest. For my own part I don’t pretend to practise unselfishness. I don’t pretend to guide my actions by the rules laid down in the Sermon on the Mount. But it’s certainly surprising to hear you who profess to be a follower of Christ—advocating selfishness. Or, rather, it would be surprising if it were not that the name of ‘Christian’ has ceased to signify one who follows Christ, and has come to mean only liar and hypocrite.”
“No one can be blamed for doing their best for themselves under the current circumstances,” Owen said in response to Slyme’s questioning look. “That’s the principle of the current system—every person for themselves and let the rest take care of themselves. As for me, I don’t pretend to be selfless. I don’t try to follow the rules laid out in the Sermon on the Mount. But it’s definitely surprising to hear you, who claim to be a follower of Christ—advocating for selfishness. Or rather, it would be surprising if it weren’t for the fact that the term ‘Christian’ no longer signifies someone who follows Christ, and now just means liar and hypocrite.”
Slyme made no answer. Possibly the fact that he was a true believer enabled him to bear this insult with meekness and humility.
Slyme didn't respond. Maybe the fact that he was a true believer allowed him to handle this insult with patience and humility.
“I wonder what time it is?” interposed Philpot.
“I wonder what time it is?” Philpot interjected.
Slyme looked at his watch. It was nearly ten o’clock.
Slyme checked his watch. It was almost ten o’clock.
“Jesus Christ! Is that all?” growled Easton as they returned to work. “Two hours more before dinner!”
“Jesus Christ! Is that it?” Easton grumbled as they got back to work. “Two more hours until dinner!”
Only two more hours, but to these miserable, half-starved, ill-clad wretches, standing here in the bitter wind that pierced their clothing and seemed to be tearing at their very hearts and lungs with icy fingers, it appeared like an eternity. To judge by the eagerness with which they longed for dinner-time, one might have thought they had some glorious banquet to look forward to instead of bread and cheese and onions, or bloaters—and stewed tea.
Only two more hours, but to these miserable, half-starved, poorly dressed people, standing here in the bitter wind that cut through their clothes and seemed to be ripping at their hearts and lungs with icy fingers, it felt like an eternity. From the way they longed for dinner time, you might think they had an amazing feast to look forward to instead of just bread and cheese and onions, or bloaters—and stewed tea.
Two more hours of torture before dinner; and three more hours after that. And then, thank God, it would be too dark to see to work any longer.
Two more hours of agony before dinner; and three more hours after that. Then, thank God, it would be too dark to continue working.
It would have been much better for them if, instead of being “Freemen”, they had been slaves, and the property, instead of the hirelings, of Mr Rushton. As it was, HE would not have cared if one or all of them had become ill or died from the effects of exposure. It would have made no difference to him. There were plenty of others out of work and on the verge of starvation who would be very glad to take their places. But if they had been Rushton’s property, such work as this would have been deferred until it could be done without danger to the health and lives of the slaves; or at any rate, even if it were proceeded with during such weather, their owner would have seen to it that they were properly clothed and fed; he would have taken as much care of them as he would of his horse.
It would have been much better for them if, instead of being “Freemen,” they had been slaves and the property, rather than the hirelings, of Mr. Rushton. As it was, he wouldn’t have cared if one or all of them got sick or died from exposure. It wouldn’t have made a difference to him. There were plenty of others out of work and on the brink of starvation who would have been more than happy to take their places. But if they had been Rushton’s property, such work would have been postponed until it could be done without putting the health and lives of the slaves at risk; or at least, even if it were done in such weather, their owner would have made sure they were properly clothed and fed; he would have taken care of them just like he would of his horse.
People always take great care of their horses. If they were to overwork a horse and make it ill, it would cost something for medicine and the veterinary surgeon, to say nothing of the animal’s board and lodging. If they were to work their horses to death, they would have to buy others. But none of these considerations applies to workmen. If they work a man to death they can get another for nothing at the corner of the next street. They don’t have to buy him; all they have to do is to give him enough money to provide him with food and clothing—of a kind—while he is working for them. If they only make him ill, they will not have to feed him or provide him with medical care while he is laid up. He will either go without these things or pay for them himself. At the same time it must be admitted that the workman scores over both the horse and the slave, inasmuch as he enjoys the priceless blessing of Freedom. If he does not like the hirer’s conditions he need not accept them. He can refuse to work, and he can go and starve. There are no ropes on him. He is a Free man. He is the Heir of all the Ages. He enjoys perfect Liberty. He has the right to choose freely which he will do—Submit or Starve. Eat dirt or eat nothing.
People always take great care of their horses. If they overwork a horse and make it sick, it will cost money for medicine and the vet, not to mention the animal’s food and lodging. If they work their horses to death, they will need to buy new ones. But none of this applies to workers. If they work a man to death, they can just find another one for free on the next street corner. They don’t have to buy him; all they need to do is pay him enough to get by with food and clothing—of a sort—while he works for them. If they only make him sick, they won’t have to feed him or provide medical care while he’s laid up. He’ll either go without or pay for it himself. At the same time, it must be noted that the worker has an advantage over both the horse and the slave, as he enjoys the priceless gift of Freedom. If he doesn’t like the employer’s conditions, he doesn’t have to accept them. He can refuse to work, and he can go and starve. There are no chains on him. He is a Free man. He is the Heir of all the Ages. He enjoys perfect Liberty. He has the right to choose freely what he will do—Submit or Starve. Eat dirt or eat nothing.
The wind blew colder and colder. The sky, which at first had shown small patches of blue through rifts in the masses of clouds, had now become uniformly grey. There was every indication of an impending fall of snow.
The wind blew colder and colder. The sky, which at first had shown small patches of blue through breaks in the clouds, had now turned completely grey. There were clear signs that snow was about to fall.
The men perceived this with conflicting feelings. If it did commence to snow, they would not be able to continue this work, and therefore they found themselves involuntarily wishing that it would snow, or rain, or hail, or anything that would stop the work. But on the other hand, if the weather prevented them getting on with the outside, some of them would have to “stand off”, because the inside was practically finished. None of them wished to lose any time if they could possibly help it, because there were only ten days more before Christmas.
The men felt torn about this situation. If it started to snow, they wouldn’t be able to keep working, so they found themselves secretly hoping for snow, rain, hail—anything to halt the work. But on the flip side, if the weather kept them from finishing outside, some of them would have to “stand off,” since the inside was nearly done. None of them wanted to waste any time if they could avoid it, especially with only ten days left until Christmas.
The morning slowly wore away and the snow did not fall. The hands worked on in silence, for they were in no mood for talking, and not only that, but they were afraid that Hunter or Rushton or Crass might be watching them from behind some bush or tree, or through some of the windows. This dread possessed them to such an extent that most of them were almost afraid even to look round, and kept steadily on at work. None of them wished to spoil his chance of being kept on to help to do the other house that it was reported Rushton & Co. were going to “do up” for Mr Sweater.
The morning dragged on, and the snow still hadn’t fallen. The workers kept at it in silence, not in the mood to chat, and worried that Hunter, Rushton, or Crass might be watching them from behind a bush or a tree, or through the windows. This fear dominated them to the point where most were even hesitant to look around and just focused on their tasks. None of them wanted to ruin their chances of being kept on to help with the other house that it was rumored Rushton & Co. were going to fix up for Mr. Sweater.
Twelve o’clock came at last, and Crass’s whistle had scarcely ceased to sound before they all assembled in the kitchen before the roaring fire. Sweater had sent in two tons of coal and had given orders that fires were to be lit every day in nearly every room to make the house habitable by Christmas.
Twelve o’clock finally arrived, and Crass’s whistle had barely stopped when everyone gathered in the kitchen in front of the blazing fire. Sweater had sent in two tons of coal and had instructed that fires should be lit daily in almost every room to make the house livable by Christmas.
“I wonder if it’s true as the firm’s got another job to do for old Sweater?” remarked Harlow as he was toasting a bloater on the end of the pointed stick.
“I wonder if it’s true that the firm has another job for old Sweater?” Harlow said while toasting a bloater on the end of a pointed stick.
“True? No!” said the man on the pail scornfully. “It’s all bogy. You know that empty ’ouse as they said Sweater ’ad bought—the one that Rushton and Nimrod was seen lookin’ at?”
“Really? No way!” said the man on the bucket with contempt. “It’s all nonsense. You know that empty house they said Sweater had bought—the one that Rushton and Nimrod were spotted checking out?”
“Yes,” replied Harlow. The other men listened with evident interest. “Well, they wasn’t pricing it up after all! The landlord of that ’ouse is abroad, and there was some plants in the garden as Rushton thought ’e’d like, and ’e was tellin’ Misery which ones ’e wanted. And afterwards old Pontius Pilate came up with Ned Dawson and a truck. They made two or three journeys and took bloody near everything in the garden as was worth takin’. What didn’t go to Rushton’s place went to ’Unter’s.”
“Yes,” replied Harlow. The other men listened with obvious interest. “Well, they weren't actually pricing it after all! The landlord of that house is overseas, and there were some plants in the garden that Rushton thought he’d like, and he was telling Misery which ones he wanted. Then old Pontius Pilate showed up with Ned Dawson and a truck. They made two or three trips and took almost everything in the garden that was worth taking. What didn’t go to Rushton’s place went to Hunter’s.”
The disappointment of their hopes for another job was almost forgotten in their interest in this story.
The disappointment of their hopes for another job was nearly forgotten in their interest in this story.
“Who told you about it?” said Harlow.
“Who told you about it?” Harlow asked.
“Ned Dawson ’imself. It’s right enough what I say. Ask ’im.”
“Ned Dawson himself. It’s true what I’m saying. Just ask him.”
Ned Dawson, usually called “Bundy’s mate”, had been away from the house for a few days down at the yard doing odd jobs, and had only come back to the “Cave” that morning. On being appealed to, he corroborated Dick Wantley’s statement.
Ned Dawson, often referred to as “Bundy’s mate,” had been away from the house for a few days working on various tasks at the yard and had just returned to the “Cave” that morning. When asked, he confirmed Dick Wantley’s statement.
“They’ll be gettin’ theirselves into trouble if they ain’t careful,” remarked Easton.
“They're going to get themselves into trouble if they’re not careful,” remarked Easton.
“Oh, no they won’t, Rushton’s too artful for that. It seems the agent is a pal of ’is, and they worked it between ’em.”
“Oh, no they won’t, Rushton’s too clever for that. It looks like the agent is a friend of his, and they worked it out between them.”
“Wot a bloody cheek, though!” exclaimed Harlow.
“What's a bloody cheek, though!” exclaimed Harlow.
“Oh, that’s nothing to some of the things I’ve known ’em do before now,” said the man on the pail. “Why, don’t you remember, back in the summer, that carved hoak hall table as Rushton pinched out of that ’ouse on Grand Parade?”
“Oh, that’s nothing compared to some of the things I’ve seen them do before now,” said the man on the pail. “Why, don’t you remember, back in the summer, that carved oak hall table that Rushton took from that house on Grand Parade?”
“Yes; that was a bit of all right too, wasn’t it?” cried Philpot, and several of the others laughed.
“Yes, that was pretty good too, right?” shouted Philpot, and a few of the others laughed.
“You know, that big ’ouse we did up last summer—No. 596,” Wantley continued, for the benefit of those not “in the know”. “Well, it ’ad bin empty for a long time and we found this ’ere table in a cupboard under the stairs. A bloody fine table it was too. One of them bracket tables what you fix to the wall, without no legs. It ’ad a ’arf-round marble top to it, and underneath was a carved hoak figger, a mermaid, with ’er arms up over ’er ’ead ’oldin’ up the table top—something splendid!” The man on the pail waxed enthusiastic as he thought of it. “Must ’ave been worth at least five quid. Well, just as we pulled this ’ere table out, who should come in but Rushton, and when ’e seen it, ’e tells Crass to cover it over with a sack and not to let nobody see it. And then ’e clears orf to the shop and sends the boy down with the truck and ’as it took up to ’is own ’ouse, and it’s there now, fixed in the front ’all. I was sent up there a couple of months ago to paint and varnish the lobby doors and I seen it meself. There’s a pitcher called ‘The Day of Judgement’ ’angin’ on the wall just over it—thunder and lightning and earthquakes and corpses gettin’ up out o’ their graves—something bloody ’orrible! And underneath the picture is a card with a tex out of the Bible—‘Christ is the ’ead of this ’ouse: the unknown guest at every meal. The silent listener to every conversation.’ I was workin’ there for three or four days and I got to know it orf by ’eart.”
“You know that big house we renovated last summer—No. 596,” Wantley continued, for the benefit of those who weren’t "in the know." “Well, it had been empty for a long time, and we found this table in a cupboard under the stairs. It was a really nice table too. One of those bracket tables that you attach to the wall, without any legs. It had a half-round marble top, and underneath was a carved oak figure, a mermaid, with her arms up over her head holding up the table top—something amazing! The guy on the pail got excited just thinking about it. It must have been worth at least five pounds. Just as we pulled this table out, who should walk in but Rushton, and when he saw it, he told Crass to cover it up with a sack and not to let anyone see it. Then he rushed off to the shop, sent the kid down with a truck, and had it taken up to his own house, where it is now, fixed in the front hall. I was sent there a couple of months ago to paint and varnish the lobby doors, and I saw it myself. There’s a painting called ‘The Day of Judgment’ hanging on the wall right above it—thunder and lightning and earthquakes and corpses rising from their graves—something really horrible! And underneath the painting is a card with a Bible verse—‘Christ is the head of this house: the unknown guest at every meal. The silent listener to every conversation.’ I worked there for three or four days, and I memorized it by heart.”
“Well, that takes the biskit, don’t it?” said Philpot.
“Well, that takes the cake, doesn’t it?” said Philpot.
“Yes: but the best of it was,” the man on the pail proceeded, “the best of it was, when ole Misery ’eard about the table, ’e was so bloody wild because ’e didn’t get it ’imself that ’e went upstairs and pinched one of the venetian blinds and ’ad it took up to ’is own ’ouse by the boy, and a few days arterwards one of the carpenters ’ad to go and fix it up in ’is bedroom.”
“Yeah, but the best part was,” the man on the pail continued, “the best part was, when old Misery heard about the table, he got so furious because he didn’t get it himself that he went upstairs and stole one of the venetian blinds and had the boy take it to his own house, and a few days later one of the carpenters had to go and fix it up in his bedroom.”
“And wasn’t it never found out?” inquired Easton.
"And was it never found out?" Easton asked.
“Well, there was a bit of talk about it. The agent wanted to know where it was, but Pontius Pilate swore black and white as there ’adn’t been no blind in that room, and the end of it was that the firm got the order to supply a new one.”
“Well, there was some discussion about it. The agent wanted to know where it was, but Pontius Pilate insisted firmly that there hadn’t been any blinds in that room, and ultimately, the company was given the order to provide a new one.”
“What I can’t understand is, who did the table belong to?” said Harlow.
“What I don’t get is, who did the table belong to?” said Harlow.
“It was a fixture belongin’ to the ’ouse,” replied Wantley. “But I suppose the former tenants had some piece of furniture of their own that they wanted to put in the ’all where this table was fixed, so they took it down and stored it away in this ’ere cupboard, and when they left the ’ouse I suppose they didn’t trouble to put it back again. Anyway, there was the mark on the wall where it used to be fixed, but when we did the staircase down, the place was papered over, and I suppose the landlord or the agent never give the table a thought. Anyhow, Rushton got away with it all right.”
“It was a fixture that belonged to the house,” replied Wantley. “But I guess the previous tenants had some furniture of their own that they wanted to put in the hall where this table was fixed, so they took it down and stored it in this cupboard, and when they left the house, I suppose they didn’t bother to put it back. Anyway, there was a mark on the wall where it used to be fixed, but when we did the staircase down, the place was wallpapered over, and I guess the landlord or the agent never gave the table a second thought. Either way, Rushton got away with it just fine.”
A number of similar stories were related by several others concerning the doings of different employers they had worked for, but after a time the conversation reverted to the subject that was uppermost in their thoughts—the impending slaughter, and the improbability of being able to obtain another job, considering the large number of men who were already out of employment.
A number of similar stories were shared by several others about the actions of different employers they had worked for, but eventually, the conversation went back to the topic that was on everyone’s mind—the upcoming layoffs and the unlikelihood of finding another job, given the large number of men already out of work.
“I can’t make it out, myself,” remarked Easton. “Things seems to get worse every year. There don’t seem to be ’arf the work about that there used to be, and even what there is is messed up anyhow, as if the people who ’as it done can’t afford to pay for it.”
“I can’t figure it out, honestly,” Easton said. “Things seem to get worse every year. There doesn’t seem to be half the work there used to be, and even what there is is messed up anyway, like the people who are getting it done can’t afford to pay for it.”
“Yes,” said Harlow; “that’s true enough. Why, just look at the work that’s in one o’ them ’ouses on the Grand Parade. People must ’ave ’ad more money to spend in those days, you know; all those massive curtain cornishes over the drawing- and dining-room winders—gilded solid! Why, nowadays they’d want all the bloody ’ouse done down right through—inside and out, for the money it cost to gild one of them.”
“Yes,” said Harlow; “that’s definitely true. Just look at the work that’s in one of those houses on the Grand Parade. People must have had more money to spend back then, you know; all those huge curtain cornices over the drawing and dining room windows—gilded solid! Nowadays, they’d want the entire house renovated inside and out for the price it costs to gild just one of those.”
“It seems that nearly everybody is more or less ’ard up nowadays,” said Philpot. “I’m jiggered if I can understand it, but there it is.”
“It seems like almost everyone is pretty broke these days,” said Philpot. “I’m baffled as to why, but that’s the situation.”
“You should ast Owen to explain it to yer,” remarked Crass with a jeering laugh. “’E knows all about wot’s the cause of poverty, but ’e won’t tell nobody. ’E’s been GOIN’ to tell us wot it is for a long time past, but it don’t seem to come orf.”
“You should ask Owen to explain it to you,” Crass said with a mocking laugh. “He knows all about what causes poverty, but he won’t tell anyone. He’s been planning to tell us what it is for a long time now, but it doesn’t seem to happen.”
Crass had not yet had an opportunity of producing the Obscurer cutting, and he made this remark in the hope of turning the conversation into a channel that would enable him to do so. But Owen did not respond, and went on reading his newspaper.
Crass still hadn't had a chance to show the Obscurer cutting, and he made this comment hoping to steer the conversation in a way that would allow him to do so. But Owen didn't react and kept reading his newspaper.
“We ain’t ’ad no lectures at all lately, ’ave we?” said Harlow in an injured tone. “I think it’s about time Owen explained what the real cause of poverty is. I’m beginning to get anxious about it.”
“We haven’t had any lectures lately, have we?” Harlow said in a hurt tone. “I think it’s time Owen explained what the real cause of poverty is. I’m starting to get worried about it.”
The others laughed.
The others giggled.
When Philpot had finished eating his dinner he went out of the kitchen and presently returned with a small pair of steps, which he opened and placed in a corner of the room, with the back of the steps facing the audience.
When Philpot finished his dinner, he left the kitchen and soon came back with a small set of steps, which he opened and set in a corner of the room, with the back of the steps facing the audience.
“There you are, me son!” he exclaimed to Owen. “There’s a pulpit for yer.”
“There you are, son!” he said to Owen. “There’s a pulpit for you.”
“Yes! come on ’ere!” cried Crass, feeling in his waistcoat pocket for the cutting. “Tell us wot’s the real cause of poverty.”
“Yeah! Come over here!” shouted Crass, searching his waistcoat pocket for the clipping. “Tell us what’s really causing poverty.”
“’Ear, ’ear,” shouted the man on the pail. “Git up into the bloody pulpit and give us a sermon.”
“Hey, hey,” shouted the man on the pail. “Get up into the damn pulpit and give us a sermon.”
As Owen made no response to the invitations, the crowd began to hoot and groan.
As Owen didn’t respond to the invitations, the crowd started to boo and groan.
“Come on, man,” whispered Philpot, winking his goggle eye persuasively at Owen. “Come on, just for a bit of turn, to pass the time away.”
“Come on, man,” whispered Philpot, winking his goggle eye suggestively at Owen. “Come on, just for a little change, to pass the time.”
Owen accordingly ascended the steps—much to the secret delight of Crass—and was immediately greeted with a round of enthusiastic applause.
Owen then went up the steps—much to Crass's hidden joy—and was immediately met with a round of enthusiastic applause.
“There you are, you see,” said Philpot, addressing the meeting. “It’s no use booin’ and threatenin’, because ’e’s one of them lecturers wot can honly be managed with kindness. If it ’adn’t a bin for me, ’e wouldn’t ’ave agreed to speak at all.”
“There you are, you see,” said Philpot, talking to the group. “It's no good booing and threatening, because he’s one of those lecturers who can only be handled with kindness. If it hadn't been for me, he wouldn't have agreed to speak at all.”
Philpot having been unanimously elected chairman, proposed by Harlow and seconded by the man on the pail, Owen commenced:
Philpot was unanimously elected as chairman, proposed by Harlow and seconded by Owen, who was sitting on the pail, and he began:
“Mr Chairman and gentlemen:
“Chairman and gentlemen:
“Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, it is with some degree of hesitation that I venture to address myself to such a large, distinguished, fashionable, and intelligent looking audience as that which I have the honour of seeing before me on the present occasion.” (Applause.)
“Since I'm not used to public speaking, I hesitate a bit as I prepare to address such a large, distinguished, stylish, and smart-looking audience like the one I have the honor of seeing in front of me today.” (Applause.)
“One of the finest speakers I’ve ever ’eard!” remarked the man on the pail in a loud whisper to the chairman, who motioned him to be silent.
“One of the best speakers I’ve ever heard!” the man on the pail said in a loud whisper to the chairman, who signaled for him to be quiet.
Owen continued:
Owen went on:
“In some of my previous lectures I have endeavoured to convince you that money is in itself of no value and of no real use whatever. In this I am afraid I have been rather unsuccessful.”
“In some of my earlier lectures, I tried to persuade you that money itself holds no value and is of no real use at all. Unfortunately, I fear I haven't been very successful.”
“Not a bit of it, mate,” cried Crass, sarcastically. “We all agrees with it.”
“Not at all, buddy,” Crass shouted, sarcastically. “We all agree with it.”
“’Ear, ’ear,” shouted Easton. “If a bloke was to come in ’ere now and orfer to give me a quid—I’d refuse it!”
“Listen up,” shouted Easton. “If someone were to walk in here right now and offer me a quid—I’d turn it down!”
“So would I,” said Philpot.
“Same here,” said Philpot.
“Well, whether you agree or not, the fact remains. A man might possess so much money that, in England, he would be comparatively rich, and yet if he went to some country where the cost of living is very high he would find himself in a condition of poverty. Or one might conceivably be in a place where the necessaries of life could not be bought for money at all. Therefore it is more conducive to an intelligent understanding of the subject if we say that to be rich consists not necessarily in having much money, but in being able to enjoy an abundance of the things that are made by work; and that poverty consists not merely in being without money, but in being short of the necessaries and comforts of life—or in other words in being short of the Benefits of Civilization, the things that are all, without exception, produced by work. Whether you agree or not with anything else that I say, you will all admit that that is our condition at the present time. We do not enjoy a full share of the benefits of civilization—we are all in a state of more or less abject poverty.”
“Well, whether you agree or not, the fact remains. A man might have so much money that, in England, he would be considered fairly wealthy, and yet if he went to a country where the cost of living is very high, he would find himself in a state of poverty. Or one might find themselves in a place where the basic necessities of life can’t be bought with money at all. Therefore, it’s more helpful for understanding if we say that being rich doesn’t necessarily mean having a lot of money, but rather being able to enjoy an abundance of things produced by work; and that poverty isn’t just being without money, but being lacking in the essentials and comforts of life—in other words, being deprived of the Benefits of Civilization, which are all produced by work. Whether you agree or disagree with anything else I say, you’ll all admit that this is our situation right now. We don’t fully enjoy the benefits of civilization—we are all in a state of varying degrees of hardship.”
“Question!” cried Crass, and there were loud murmurs of indignant dissent from several quarters as Owen proceeded:
“Question!” shouted Crass, and there were loud murmurs of angry disagreement from several areas as Owen continued:
“How does it happen that we are so short of the things that are made by work?”
“How is it that we are so lacking in the things created by labor?”
“The reason why we’re short of the things that’s made by work,” interrupted Crass, mimicking Owen’s manner, “is that we ain’t got the bloody money to buy ’em.”
“The reason we don’t have the stuff that’s made by work,” interrupted Crass, copying Owen’s style, “is that we don’t have the damn money to buy it.”
“Yes,” said the man on the pail; “and as I said before, if all the money in the country was shared out equal today according to Owen’s ideas—in six months’ time it would be all back again in the same ’ands as it is now, and what are you goin’ to do then?”
“Yes,” said the man on the bucket; “and like I said before, if all the money in the country were distributed evenly today based on Owen’s ideas—in six months’ time, it would all end up back in the same hands as it is now, so what are you going to do then?”
“Share again, of course.”
“Share again, sure.”
This answer came derisively from several places at the same instant, and then they all began speaking at once, vying with each other in ridiculing the foolishness of “them there Socialists”, whom they called “The Sharers Out”.
This response came mockingly from various directions all at once, and then they all started talking over each other, competing to make fun of the stupidity of “those Socialists,” whom they referred to as “The Sharers Out.”
Barrington was almost the only one who took no part in the conversation. He was seated in his customary place and, as usual, silently smoking, apparently oblivious to his surroundings.
Barrington was pretty much the only one not engaging in the conversation. He sat in his usual spot, quietly smoking, seemingly unaware of what was happening around him.
“I never said anything about ‘sharing out all the money’,” said Owen during a lull in the storm, “and I don’t know of any Socialist who advocates anything of the kind. Can any of you tell me the name of someone who proposes to do so?”
“I never said anything about ‘sharing out all the money,’” Owen said during a break in the storm, “and I don’t know any Socialist who supports that idea. Can any of you tell me the name of someone who suggests doing that?”
No one answered, as Owen repeated his inquiry, this time addressing himself directly to Crass, who had been one of the loudest in denouncing and ridiculing the “Sharers Out”. Thus cornered, Crass—who knew absolutely nothing about the subject—for a few moments looked rather foolish. Then he began to talk in a very loud voice:
No one replied, so Owen asked again, this time directing his question straight at Crass, who had been one of the most vocal in criticizing and mocking the “Sharers Out.” With no way to escape, Crass—who didn't know anything about the topic—looked pretty foolish for a moment. Then he started to speak in a very loud voice:
“Why, it’s a well-known fact. Everybody knows that’s what they wants. But they take bloody good care they don’t act up to it theirselves, though. Look at them there Labour members of Parliament—a lot of b—rs what’s too bloody lazy to work for their livin’! What the bloody ’ell was they before they got there? Only workin’ men, the same as you and me! But they’ve got the gift o’ the gab and—”
“Why, it's a well-known fact. Everyone knows that's what they want. But they make sure they don’t live up to it themselves, though. Look at those Labour members of Parliament—a bunch of lazy people who won’t work for a living! What the hell were they before they got there? Just working men, just like you and me! But they’ve got the gift of the gab and—”
“Yes, we know all about that,” said Owen, “but what I’m asking you is to tell us who advocates taking all the money in the country and sharing it out equally?”
“Yes, we know all about that,” Owen said, “but what I want to know is who supports taking all the money in the country and dividing it equally?”
“And I say that everybody knows that’s what they’re after!” shouted Crass. “And you know it as well as I do. A fine thing!” he added indignantly. “Accordin’ to that idear, a bloody scavenger or a farm labourer ought to get as much wages as you or me!”
“And I tell you, everyone knows that’s what they want!” shouted Crass. “And you know it just as well as I do. What a joke!” he added angrily. “According to that idea, a bloody scavenger or a farm laborer should earn just as much as you or me!”
“We can talk about that some other time. What I want to know at present is—what authority have you for saying that Socialists believe in sharing out all the money equally amongst all the people?”
“We can discuss that later. What I want to know right now is—what makes you think that Socialists believe in distributing all the money equally among everyone?”
“Well, that’s what I’ve always understood they believed in doing,” said Crass rather lamely.
“Well, that’s what I’ve always understood they believed in doing,” Crass said weakly.
“It’s a well-known fact,” said several others.
“It’s a widely recognized fact,” said several others.
“Come to think of it,” continued Crass as he drew the Obscurer cutting from his waistcoat pocket, “I’ve got a little thing ’ere that I’ve been goin’ to read to yer. It’s out of the Obscurer. I’d forgotten all about it.”
“Now that you mention it,” Crass said as he pulled the Obscurer cutting from his waistcoat pocket, “I have this thing here that I’ve been meaning to read to you. It’s from the Obscurer. I totally forgot about it.”
Remarking that the print was too small for his own eyes, he passed the slip of paper to Harlow, who read aloud as follows:
Noting that the font was too small for him to read, he handed the slip of paper to Harlow, who read aloud:
PROVE YOUR PRINCIPLES: OR, LOOK AT BOTH SIDES
PROVE YOUR PRINCIPLES: OR, CONSIDER BOTH SIDES
“I wish I could open your eyes to the true misery of our condition: injustice, tyranny and oppression!” said a discontented hack to a weary-looking cob as they stood side by side in unhired cabs.
“I wish I could show you just how miserable our situation really is: injustice, tyranny, and oppression!” said a disgruntled writer to a tired-looking cab driver as they stood side by side in unbooked cabs.
“I’d rather have them opened to something pleasant, thank you,” replied the cob.
“I’d prefer them to be open to something nice, thanks,” replied the cob.
“I am sorry for you. If you could enter into the noble aspirations—” the hack began.
“I feel sorry for you. If you could get involved in the noble aspirations—” the hack started.
“Talk plain. What would you have?” said the cob, interrupting him.
“Speak straightforwardly. What do you want?” said the cob, cutting him off.
“What would I have? Why, equality, and share and share alike all over the world,” said the hack.
“What do I want? Well, equality, and for everyone to share everything equally all around the world,” said the hack.
“You mean that?” said the cob. “Of course I do. What right have those sleek, pampered hunters and racers to their warm stables and high feed, their grooms and jockeys? It is really heart-sickening to think of it,” replied the hack.
“You really mean that?” said the cob. “Of course I do. What right do those fancy, spoiled hunters and racers have to their warm stables and expensive feed, their grooms and jockeys? It’s honestly heartbreaking to think about it,” replied the hack.
“I don’t know but you may be right,” said the cob, “and to show I’m in earnest, as no doubt you are, let me have half the good beans you have in your bag, and you shall have half the musty oats and chaff I have in mine. There’s nothing like proving one’s principles.”
“I don’t know, but you might be right,” said the cob, “and to show I’m serious, just like you are, let me have half the good beans you have in your bag, and you can have half the stale oats and chaff I have in mine. There’s nothing better than proving your principles.”
Original Parables. By Mrs Prosier.
Original Parables. By Mrs. Prosier.
“There you are!” cried several voices.
“There you are!” shouted several voices.
“What does that mean?” cried Crass, triumphantly. “Why don’t you go and share your wages with the chaps what’s out of work?”
“What does that mean?” yelled Crass, happily. “Why don’t you go and share your pay with the guys who are out of work?”
“What does it mean?” replied Owen contemptuously. “It means that if the Editor of the Obscurer put that in his paper as an argument against Socialism, either he is of feeble intellect himself or else he thinks that the majority of his readers are. That isn’t an argument against Socialism—it’s an argument against the hypocrites who pretend to be Christians—the people who profess to ‘Love their neighbours as themselves’—who pretend to believe in Universal Brotherhood, and that they do not love the world or the things of the world and say that they are merely ‘Pilgrims on their way to a better land’. As for why I don’t do it—why should I? I don’t pretend to be a Christian. But you’re all ‘Christians’—why don’t you do it?”
“What does that even mean?” Owen replied with disdain. “It means that if the Editor of the Obscurer put that in his paper as an argument against Socialism, he's either not very bright himself or he thinks that most of his readers aren't. That’s not an argument against Socialism—it’s an argument against the hypocrites who pretend to be Christians—the ones who claim to ‘Love their neighbors as themselves’—who act like they believe in Universal Brotherhood, and say they don’t care about the world and its temptations, claiming they are just ‘Pilgrims on their way to a better land.’ As for why I don’t do it—why should I? I don’t pretend to be a Christian. But you’re all ‘Christians’—why don’t you do it?”
“We’re not talkin’ about religion,” exclaimed Crass, impatiently.
“We're not talking about religion,” Crass exclaimed, impatiently.
“Then what are you talking about? I never said anything about ‘Sharing Out’ or ‘Bearing one another’s burdens’. I don’t profess to ‘Give to everyone who asks of me’ or to ‘Give my cloak to the man who take away my coat’. I have read that Christ taught that His followers must do all these things, but as I do not pretend to be one of His followers I don’t do them. But you believe in Christianity: why don’t you do the things that He said?”
“Then what are you talking about? I never mentioned anything about ‘Sharing Out’ or ‘Bearing one another’s burdens.’ I don’t claim to ‘Give to everyone who asks me’ or to ‘Give my cloak to the person who takes my coat.’ I’ve read that Christ taught His followers to do all these things, but since I don’t pretend to be one of His followers, I don’t do them. But you believe in Christianity: why don’t you do the things He said?”
As nobody seemed to know the answer to this question, the lecturer proceeded:
As no one seemed to know the answer to this question, the lecturer continued:
“In this matter the difference between so-called ‘Christians’ and Socialists is this: Christ taught the Fatherhood of God and the Brotherhood of Men. Those who today pretend to be Christ’s followers hypocritically profess to carry out those teachings now. But they don’t. They have arranged ‘The Battle of Life’ system instead!
“In this situation, the difference between so-called ‘Christians’ and Socialists is this: Christ taught the Fatherhood of God and the Brotherhood of Men. Those who claim to be Christ’s followers today hypocritically say they follow those teachings now. But they don’t. They’ve set up ‘The Battle of Life’ system instead!
“The Socialist—very much against his will—finds himself in the midst of this horrible battle, and he appeals to the other combatants to cease from fighting and to establish a system of Brotherly Love and Mutual Helpfulness, but he does not hypocritically pretend to practise brotherly love towards those who will not agree to his appeal, and who compel him to fight with them for his very life. He knows that in this battle he must either fight or go under. Therefore, in self-defiance, he fights; but all the time he continues his appeal for the cessation of the slaughter. He pleads for the changing of the system. He advocates Co-operation instead of Competition: but how can he co-operate with people who insist on competing with him? No individual can practise co-operation by himself! Socialism can only be practised by the Community—that is the meaning of the word. At present, the other members of the community—the ‘Christians’—deride and oppose the Socialist’s appeal.
“The Socialist—very much against his will—finds himself caught up in this terrible battle, and he calls on the other fighters to stop and create a system of Brotherhood and Mutual Support. However, he doesn’t pretend to show brotherly love to those who won’t listen to him and force him to fight for his survival. He understands that in this fight, he has to either defend himself or be defeated. So, in defiance of his better nature, he fights; but all the while, he continues to plead for an end to the violence. He advocates for changing the system. He supports Cooperation over Competition: but how can he cooperate with people who are determined to compete against him? No one can practice cooperation alone! Socialism can only be practiced by the Community—that’s what the term means. Right now, the other members of the community—the ‘Christians’—mock and oppose the Socialist’s plea.
“It is these pretended Christians who do not practise what they preach, because, all the time they are singing their songs of Brotherhood and Love, they are fighting with each other, and strangling each other and trampling each other underfoot in their horrible ‘Battle of Life’!
“It is these fake Christians who don’t practice what they preach, because, while they sing their songs of Brotherhood and Love, they are fighting with each other, choking each other, and trampling each other in their terrible ‘Battle of Life’!
“No Socialist suggests ‘Sharing out’ money or anything else in the manner you say. And another thing: if you only had a little more sense you might be able to perceive that this stock ‘argument’ of yours is really an argument against the present system, inasmuch as it proves that Money is in itself of no use whatever. Supposing all the money was shared out equally; and suppose there was enough of it for everyone to have ten thousand pounds; and suppose they then all thought they were rich and none of them would work. What would they live on? Their money? Could they eat it or drink it or wear it? It wouldn’t take them very long to find out that this wonderful money—which under the present system is the most powerful thing in existence—is really of no more use than so much dirt. They would speedily perish, not from lack of money, but from lack of wealth—that is, from lack of things that are made by work. And further, it is quite true that if all the money were distributed equally amongst all the people tomorrow, it would all be up in heaps again in a very short time. But that only proves that while the present Money System remains, it will be impossible to do away with poverty, for heaps in some places mean little or nothing in other places. Therefore while the money system lasts we are bound to have poverty and all the evils it brings in its train.”
“No socialist advocates for ‘sharing out’ money or anything else the way you described. And another thing: if you had a bit more common sense, you might realize that this stock ‘argument’ of yours actually works against the current system, as it shows that money, in itself, is useless. Imagine if all the money was shared equally; let’s say everyone received ten thousand pounds, and they all believed they were rich and refused to work. What would they survive on? Their money? Can they eat it, drink it, or wear it? It wouldn’t take long for them to discover that this so-called wonderful money— which under the current system is the most powerful thing— is really no more useful than dirt. They would quickly find themselves perishing, not from a lack of money, but from a lack of wealth—that is, from a lack of things created by work. Moreover, it’s true that if all the money were distributed equally among the people tomorrow, it would all end up in piles again very soon. But that just proves that as long as the current money system exists, we won’t be able to eliminate poverty, because piles in some areas mean very little in others. Therefore, while the money system continues, we are destined to have poverty and all the problems it brings.”
“Oh, of course everybody’s an idjit except you,” sneered Crass, who was beginning to feel rather fogged.
“Oh, of course everyone’s an idiot except you,” mocked Crass, who was starting to feel a bit confused.
“I rise to a pint of order,” said Easton.
"I rise to a point of order," said Easton.
“And I rise to order a pint,” cried Philpot.
“And I’m going to get a pint,” shouted Philpot.
“Order what the bloody ’ell you like,” remarked Harlow, “so long as I ’aven’t got to pay for it.”
“Order whatever you want,” Harlow said, “as long as I don’t have to pay for it.”
“Mine’s a pint of porter,” observed the man on the pail.
“Give me a pint of porter,” said the man on the bucket.
“The pint is,” proceeded Easton, “when does the lecturer intend to explain to us what is the real cause of poverty.”
“The point is,” continued Easton, “when is the lecturer going to explain to us what the real cause of poverty is?”
“’Ear, ’ear,” cried Harlow. “That’s what I want to know, too.”
“Listen up,” Harlow shouted. “That’s what I want to know, too.”
“And what I should like to know is, who is supposed to be givin’ this ’ere lecture?” inquired the man on the pail.
“And what I want to know is, who’s supposed to be giving this lecture?” asked the man on the pail.
“Why, Owen, of course,” replied Harlow.
"Sure, Owen," Harlow replied.
“Well, why don’t you try to keep quiet for a few minutes and let ’im get on with it?”
“Well, why don’t you try to stay quiet for a few minutes and let him get on with it?”
“The next b—r wot interrupts,” cried Philpot, rolling up his shirt-sleeves and glaring threateningly round upon the meeting. “The next b—r wot interrupts goes out through the bloody winder!”
“The next person who interrupts,” shouted Philpot, rolling up his shirt sleeves and glaring menacingly around the meeting. “The next person who interrupts gets thrown out the damn window!”
At this, everybody pretended to be very frightened, and edged away as far as possible from Philpot. Easton, who was sitting next to him, got up and crossed over to Owen’s vacant seat. The man on the pail was the only one who did not seem nervous; perhaps he felt safer because he was, as usual, surrounded by a moat.
At this, everyone acted really scared and moved as far away from Philpot as they could. Easton, who was sitting next to him, stood up and moved over to Owen's empty seat. The guy on the pail was the only one who didn’t seem anxious; maybe he felt safer because he was, as always, surrounded by a moat.
“Poverty,” resumed the lecturer, “consists in a shortage of the necessaries of life—or rather, of the benefits of civilization.”
“Poverty,” the lecturer continued, “is when there's not enough of the essentials for life—or more specifically, the advantages of society.”
“You’ve said that about a ’undred times before,” snarled Crass.
“You’ve said that about a hundred times before,” snarled Crass.
“I know I have; and I have no doubt I shall have to say it about five hundred times more before you understand what it means.”
“I know I have; and I have no doubt I’ll have to say it about five hundred more times before you understand what it means.”
“Get on with the bloody lecture,” shouted the man on the pail. “Never mind arguin’ the point.”
“Just get on with the damn lecture,” the guy on the pail yelled. “Forget about arguing the point.”
“Well, keep horder, can’t you?” cried Philpot, fiercely, “and give the man a chance.”
“Well, keep it together, can’t you?” shouted Philpot, angrily, “and give the guy a chance.”
“All these things are produced in the same way,” proceeded Owen. “They are made from the Raw materials by those who work—aided by machinery. When we inquire into the cause of the present shortage of these things, the first question we should ask is—Are there not sufficient of the raw materials in existence to enable us to produce enough to satisfy the needs of all?
“All these things are produced in the same way,” Owen continued. “They are made from raw materials by workers—with the help of machinery. When we look into why there is a shortage of these items, the first question we should ask is—Are there enough raw materials available to produce what we need to satisfy everyone?”
“The answer to this question is—There are undoubtedly more than sufficient of all the raw materials.
“The answer to this question is—There are definitely more than enough of all the raw materials.
“Insufficiency of raw material is therefore not the cause. We must look in another direction.
“Insufficient raw materials are not the cause. We need to look elsewhere.”
“The next question is—Are we short of labour? Is there not a sufficient number of people able and willing to work? Or is there not enough machinery?
“The next question is—Are we short on labor? Is there not a sufficient number of people who are able and willing to work? Or is there not enough machinery?”
“The answers to these questions are—There are plenty of people able and willing to work, and there is plenty of machinery!
“The answers to these questions are—There are lots of people who can and want to work, and there’s plenty of machinery!”
“These things being so, how comes this extraordinary result? How is it that the benefits of civilization are not produced in sufficient quantity to satisfy the needs of all? How is it that the majority of the people always have to go without most of the refinements, comforts, and pleasures of life, and very often without even the bare necessaries of existence?
“These things being so, how does this unusual result happen? How come the benefits of civilization aren’t produced in enough quantity to meet everyone’s needs? Why do most people still have to go without many of the luxuries, comforts, and pleasures of life, and often even without the basic necessities for survival?”
“Plenty of materials—Plenty of Labour—Plenty of Machinery—and, nearly everybody going short of nearly everything!
“Lots of materials—Lots of labor—Lots of machinery—and, almost everyone is running low on just about everything!
“The cause of this extraordinary state of affairs is that although we possess the means of producing more than abundance for all, we also have an imbecile system of managing our affairs.
“The reason for this unusual situation is that even though we have the ability to produce more than enough for everyone, we also have a foolish system for managing our resources.”
“The present Money System prevents us from doing the necessary work, and consequently causes the majority of the population to go short of the things that can be made by work. They suffer want in the midst of the means of producing abundance. They remain idle because they are bound and fettered with a chain of gold.
“The current money system stops us from doing the essential work, which leads to most people not having access to the goods that could be produced. They experience scarcity even though there are resources available to create plenty. They stay idle because they are restricted and constrained by a chain of gold.”
“Let us examine the details of this insane, idiotic, imbecile system.”
“Let’s look at the details of this crazy, dumb, foolish system.”
Owen now asked Philpot to pass him a piece of charred wood from under the grate, and having obtained what he wanted, he drew upon the wall a quadrangular figure about four feet in length and one foot deep. The walls of the kitchen had not yet been cleaned off, so it did not matter about disfiguring them.
Owen now asked Philpot to hand him a piece of charred wood from under the grate, and once he had what he needed, he drew a rectangular shape on the wall that was about four feet long and one foot deep. The kitchen walls still hadn't been cleaned, so it didn't matter if he messed them up.
“To find out the cause of the shortage in this country of the things that can be made by work it is first of all necessary to find out how people spend their time. Now this square represents the whole of the adult population of this country. There are many different classes of people, engaged in a great number of different occupations. Some of them are helping to produce the benefits of civilization, and some are not. All these people help to consume these things, but when we inquire into their occupations we shall find that although the majority are workers, only a comparatively small number are engaged in actually producing either the benefits of civilization or the necessaries of life.”...
“To understand the reason behind the shortage of work-made products in this country, we first need to look at how people spend their time. This square represents the entire adult population of the country. There are many different groups of people involved in a wide variety of jobs. Some contribute to the benefits of civilization, while others do not. All these people help to consume these products, but when we examine their jobs, we find that although most are workers, only a relatively small number are actually involved in producing either the benefits of civilization or the essentials of life.”
Order being once more restored, the lecturer turned again to the drawing on the wall and stretched out his hand, evidently with the intention of making some addition to it, but instead of doing so he paused irresolutely, and faltering, let his arm drop down again by his side.
Order being restored once more, the lecturer turned back to the drawing on the wall and reached out his hand, clearly intending to add something to it, but instead of following through, he hesitated, faltering, and let his arm drop back down to his side.
An absolute, disconcerting silence reigned. His embarrassment and nervousness increased. He knew that they were unwilling to hear or talk or think about such subjects as the cause of poverty at all. They preferred to make fun of and ridicule them. He knew they would refuse to try to see the meaning of what he wished to say if it were at all difficult or obscure. How was he to put it to them so that they would HAVE to understand it whether they wished to or not. It was almost impossible.
An overwhelming, uncomfortable silence filled the room. His embarrassment and anxiety grew. He realized they didn't want to hear or discuss the reasons behind poverty at all. They would rather laugh at and mock those topics. He understood they would turn away from any deeper meaning in what he wanted to say if it was even slightly complicated or unclear. How could he express it in a way that would force them to understand, whether they wanted to or not? It seemed nearly impossible.
It would be easy enough to convince them if they would only take a LITTLE trouble and try to understand, but he knew that they certainly would not “worry” themselves about such a subject as this; it was not as if it were some really important matter, such as a smutty story, a game of hooks and rings or shove-ha’penny, something concerning football or cricket, horse-racing or the doings of some Royal personage or aristocrat.
It would be simple enough to persuade them if they would just put in a LITTLE effort and try to understand, but he knew that they definitely wouldn’t “bother” themselves with a topic like this; it wasn’t exactly a crucial issue, like a scandalous story, a game of ring toss or shove-halfpenny, something related to football or cricket, horse racing, or the activities of some royal figure or aristocrat.
The problem of the cause of poverty was only something that concerned their own and their children’s future welfare. Such an unimportant matter, being undeserving of any earnest attention, must be put before them so clearly and plainly that they would be compelled to understand it at a glance; and it was almost impossible to do it.
The issue of why poverty exists was just something that affected their own and their kids' future well-being. Such a trivial matter, that didn’t warrant any serious focus, had to be presented to them in such a straightforward way that they would have to get it instantly; and it was nearly impossible to achieve.
Observing his hesitation, some of the men began to snigger. “’E seems to ’ave got ’isself into a bit of a fog,” remarked Crass in a loud whisper to Slyme, who laughed.
Observing his hesitation, some of the men started to chuckle. “He seems to have gotten himself into a bit of a fog,” Crass said in a loud whisper to Slyme, who laughed.
The sound roused Owen, who resumed:
The noise woke Owen up, who continued:
“All these people help to consume the things produced by labour. We will now divide them into separate classes. Those who help to produce; those who do nothing, those who do harm, and those who are engaged in unnecessary work.”
“All these people help to consume the things produced by labor. We will now categorize them into different classes: those who help to produce, those who do nothing, those who cause harm, and those who are involved in unnecessary work.”
“And,” sneered Crass, “those who are engaged in unnecessary talk.”
“And,” mocked Crass, “those who are caught up in pointless chatter.”
“First we will separate those who not only do nothing, but do not even pretend to be of any use; people who would consider themselves disgraced if they by any chance did any useful work. This class includes tramps, beggars, the ‘Aristocracy’, ‘Society’ people, great landowners, and generally all those possessed of hereditary wealth.”
“First, we will separate those who not only do nothing but also don’t even pretend to be useful; people who would feel ashamed to do any useful work by any chance. This group includes tramps, beggars, the 'Aristocracy', 'Society' people, wealthy landowners, and generally anyone with inherited wealth.”
As he spoke he drew a vertical line across one end of the oblong.
As he spoke, he drew a vertical line across one end of the rectangle.
1 | |
Tramps | |
Beggars | |
Society | |
People | |
Aristoc- | |
racy | |
Great | |
Landowners | |
All those | |
possessed | |
of | |
hereditary | |
wealth |
“These people do absolutely nothing except devour or enjoy the things produced by the labours of others.
“These people do nothing but consume or enjoy what others work hard to produce."
“Our next division represents those who do work of a kind—‘mental’ work if you like to call it so—work that benefits themselves and harms other people. Employers—or rather Exploiters of Labour; Thieves, Swindlers, Pickpockets; profit seeking share-holders; burglars; Bishops; Financiers; Capitalists, and those persons humorously called ‘Ministers’ of religion. If you remember that the word ‘minister’ means ‘servant’ you will be able to see the joke.
1 | 2 | |
Tramps | Exploiters | |
Beggars | of Labour | |
Society | Thieves | |
People | Swindlers | |
Aristoc- | Pickpockets | |
racy | Burglars | |
Great | Bishops | |
Landowners | Financiers | |
All those | Capitalists | |
possessed | Share- | |
of | holders | |
hereditary | Ministers | |
wealth | of religion |
“None of these people produce anything themselves, but by means of cunning and scheming they contrive between them to obtain possession of a very large portion of the things produced by the labour of others.
“None of these people create anything themselves, but through cleverness and plotting, they manage to take control of a significant portion of what is produced by the work of others.”
“Number three stands for those who work for wages or salaries, doing unnecessary work. That is, producing things or doing things which—though useful and necessary to the Imbecile System—cannot be described as the necessaries of life or the benefits of civilization. This is the largest section of all. It comprises Commercial Travellers, Canvassers, Insurance agents, commission agents, the great number of Shop Assistants, the majority of clerks, workmen employed in the construction and adornment of business premises, people occupied with what they call ‘Business’, which means being very busy without producing anything. Then there is a vast army of people engaged in designing, composing, painting or printing advertisements, things which are for the most part of no utility whatever, the object of most advertisements is merely to persuade people to buy from one firm rather than from another. If you want some butter it doesn’t matter whether you buy it from Brown or Jones or Robinson.”
“Number three refers to those who work for wages or salaries, doing unnecessary jobs. That means producing or performing tasks that—while they may be useful and necessary to the Inefficient System—aren’t essentials for life or for the benefits of society. This is the largest category of all. It includes Sales Representatives, Marketers, Insurance Agents, Commission Agents, a huge number of Retail Staff, most clerks, and workers involved in the building and decoration of business spaces, as well as people busy with what they call ‘Business,’ which means being extremely busy without actually creating anything. There’s also a large group of people working in designing, composing, painting, or printing advertisements—most of which are pretty pointless. The main goal of most advertisements is simply to convince people to buy from one company instead of another. If you want some butter, it doesn’t really matter whether you get it from Brown, Jones, or Robinson.”
1 | 2 | 3 | |
Tramps | Exploiters | All those | |
Beggars | of Labour | engaged in | |
Society | Thieves | unnecessary | |
People | Swindlers | work | |
Aristoc- | Pickpockets | ||
racy | Burglars | ||
Great | Bishops | ||
Landowners | Financiers | ||
All those | Capitalists | ||
possessed | Share- | ||
of | holders | ||
hereditary | Ministers | ||
wealth | of religion |
During the delivery of this part of the lecture, the audience began to manifest symptoms of impatience and dissent. Perceiving this, Owen, speaking very rapidly, continued:
During this part of the lecture, the audience started to show signs of impatience and disagreement. Noticing this, Owen spoke quickly and continued:
“If you go down town, you will see half a dozen drapers’ shops within a stone’s-throw of each other—often even next door to each other—all selling the same things. You can’t possibly think that all those shops are really necessary? You know that one of them would serve the purpose for which they are all intended—to store and serve as a centre for the distribution of the things that are made by work. If you will admit that five out of the six shops are not really necessary, you must also admit that the men who built them, and the salesmen and women or other assistants engaged in them, and the men who design and write and print their advertisements are all doing unnecessary work; all really wasting their time and labour, time and labour that might be employed in helping to produce these things that we are at present short of. You must admit that none of these people are engaged in producing either the necessaries of life or the benefits of civilization. They buy them, and sell them, and handle them, and haggle over them, and display them, in the plate glass windows of ‘Stores’ and ‘Emporiums’ and make profit out of them, and use them, but these people themselves produce nothing that is necessary to life or happiness, and the things that some of them do produce are only necessary to the present imbecile system.”
“If you go downtown, you’ll see half a dozen fabric stores within a stone's throw of each other—often even next door to each other—all selling the same things. You can’t seriously think that all those shops are really necessary? You know one of them would serve the purpose they all have—to store and distribute the things that people make. If you can agree that five out of the six stores aren’t really needed, you also have to admit that the people who built them, along with the salespeople and other staff, and the ones who design, write, and print their ads are all doing unnecessary work; they’re all wasting their time and effort, time and effort that could be better spent helping produce the things we currently lack. You have to acknowledge that none of these people are actually producing the essentials of life or the benefits of civilization. They buy, sell, handle, haggle over, and display these items in the glass windows of ‘Stores’ and ‘Emporiums’ and profit off them, but these people themselves create nothing necessary for life or happiness, and what some of them do produce is only needed for the current ridiculous system.”
“What the ’ell sort of a bloody system do you think we ought to ’ave, then?” interrupted the man on the pail.
“What the hell kind of messed-up system do you think we should have, then?” interrupted the man on the pail.
“Yes: you’re very good at finding fault,” sneered Slyme, “but why don’t you tell us ’ow it’s all going to be put right?”
“Yes: you’re really good at finding faults,” Slyme mocked, “but why don’t you explain how everything is going to be fixed?”
“Well, that’s not what we’re talking about now, is it?” replied Owen. “At present we’re only trying to find out how it is that there is not sufficient produced for everyone to have enough of the things that are made by work. Although most of the people in number three work very hard, they produce Nothing.”
“Well, that’s not what we’re discussing right now, is it?” replied Owen. “Right now, we’re just trying to figure out why there isn’t enough being produced for everyone to have enough of the things that come from work. Even though most of the people in number three work really hard, they produce nothing.”
“This is a lot of bloody rot!” exclaimed Crass, impatiently.
“This is a load of absolute nonsense!” exclaimed Crass, impatiently.
“Even if there is more shops than what’s actually necessary,” cried Harlow, “it all helps people to get a livin’! If half of ’em was shut up, it would just mean that all them what works there would be out of a job. Live and let live, I say: all these things makes work.”
“Even if there are more shops than what’s really needed,” Harlow exclaimed, “it all helps people make a living! If half of them were to close, it would just mean that all those who work there would be out of a job. Live and let live, I say: all these things create jobs.”
“’Ear, ’ear,” shouted the man behind the moat.
“Hey, hey,” shouted the man behind the moat.
“Yes, I know it makes ‘work’,” replied Owen, “but we can’t live on mere ‘work’, you know. To live in comfort we need a sufficiency of the things that can be made by work. A man might work very hard and yet be wasting his time if he were not producing something necessary or useful.
“Yes, I know it requires ‘work’,” Owen replied, “but we can’t survive on just ‘work’, you know. To live comfortably, we need enough of the things that can be created through work. A person might work really hard and still be wasting their time if they’re not producing something essential or useful.
“Why are there so many shops and stores and emporiums? Do you imagine they exist for the purpose of giving those who build them, or work in them, a chance to earn a living? Nothing of the sort. They are carried on, and exorbitant prices are charged for the articles they sell, to enable the proprietors to amass fortunes, and to pay extortionate rents to the landlords. That is why the wages and salaries of nearly all those who do the work created by these businesses are cut down to the lowest possible point.”
“Why are there so many shops, stores, and markets? Do you think they exist to give the people who build or work in them a way to make a living? Not at all. They operate, and charge ridiculous prices for the items they sell, to help the owners get rich and pay outrageous rents to the landlords. That's why the wages and salaries of almost everyone working in these businesses are kept as low as possible.”
“We knows all about that,” said Crass, “but you can’t get away from it that all these things makes Work; and that’s what we wants—Plenty of Work.”
“We know all about that,” said Crass, “but you can’t escape the fact that all these things create Work; and that’s what we want—Plenty of Work.”
Cries of “’Ear, ’ear,” and expressions of dissent from the views expressed by the lecturer resounded through the room, nearly everyone speaking at the same time. After a while, when the row had in some measure subsided, Owen resumed:
Cries of "Hear, hear," and expressions of disagreement with the lecturer's views echoed throughout the room, with almost everyone talking at once. After a while, when the commotion had somewhat calmed down, Owen continued:
“Nature has not provided ready-made all the things necessary for the life and happiness of mankind. In order to obtain these things we have to Work. The only rational labour is that which is directed to the creation of those things. Any kind of work which does not help us to attain this object is a ridiculous, idiotic, criminal, imbecile, waste of time.
“Nature hasn’t provided ready-made all the things needed for the life and happiness of humanity. To get these things, we have to work. The only sensible labor is the kind that contributes to creating those things. Any type of work that doesn’t help us achieve this goal is a pointless, foolish, harmful, stupid, waste of time.”
“That is what the great army of people represented by division number three are doing at present: they are all very busy—working very hard—but to all useful intents and purposes they are doing Nothing.”
“That is what the large group of people represented by division number three are doing right now: they are all very busy—working extremely hard—but for all practical purposes, they are doing nothing.”
“Well, all right,” said Harlow. “’Ave it yer own way, but there’s no need to keep on repeating the same thing over an’ over again.”
“Well, fine,” said Harlow. “Do it your way, but there’s no need to keep repeating the same thing over and over again.”
“The next division,” resumed Owen, “stands for those who are engaged in really useful work—the production of the benefits of civilization—the necessaries, refinements and comforts of life.”
“The next division,” continued Owen, “represents those who are involved in truly valuable work—the creation of the benefits of civilization—the essentials, luxuries, and comforts of life.”
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | |
Tramps | Exploiters | All those | All those | |
Beggars | of Labour | engaged in | engaged in | |
Society | Thieves | unnecessary | necessary | U |
People | Swindlers | work | work—the | N |
Aristoc- | Pickpockets | production | E | |
racy | Burglars | of the | M | |
Great | Bishops | benefits | P | |
Landowners | Financiers | of | L | |
All those | Capitalists | civiliz- | O | |
possessed | Share- | ation | Y | |
of | holders | E | ||
hereditary | Ministers | D | ||
wealth | of religion |
“Hooray!” shouted Philpot, leading off a cheer which was taken up enthusiastically by the crowd, “Hooray! This is where WE comes in,” he added, nodding his head and winking his goggle eyes at the meeting.
“Hooray!” shouted Philpot, kicking off a cheer that the crowd eagerly joined in, “Hooray! This is where WE come in,” he added, nodding and winking his goggle eyes at the meeting.
“I wish to call the chairman to horder,” said the man on the pail.
“I want to call the chairman to order,” said the man on the pail.
When Owen had finished writing in the list of occupations several members of the audience rose to point out that those engaged in the production of beer had been omitted. Owen rectified this serious oversight and proceeded:
When Owen finished adding to the list of occupations, several audience members stood up to point out that those involved in beer production were missing. Owen corrected this major oversight and continued:
“As most of the people in number four are out of work at least one quarter of their time, we must reduce the size of this division by one fourth—so. The grey part represents the unemployed.”
“As most of the people in number four are out of work at least one quarter of their time, we need to cut this division by one fourth—so. The grey part shows the unemployed.”
“But some of those in number three are often unemployed as well,” said Harlow.
“But some of the people in number three are often unemployed too,” said Harlow.
Yes: but as THEY produce nothing even when they are at work we need not trouble to classify them unemployed, because our present purpose is only to discover the reason why there is not enough produced for everyone to enjoy abundance; and this—the Present System of conducting our affairs—is the reason of the shortage—the cause of poverty. When you reflect that all the other people are devouring the things produced by those in number four—can you wonder that there is not plenty for all?”
Yes: but since THEY produce nothing even when they’re working, we don't need to worry about classifying them as unemployed, because our main goal is simply to find out why there isn’t enough produced for everyone to enjoy abundance; and this—the current system of managing our affairs—is the reason for the shortage—the cause of poverty. When you consider that all the other people are consuming the things produced by those in number four—can you be surprised that there isn’t enough for everyone?
“‘Devouring’ is a good word,” said Philpot, and the others laughed.
“‘Devouring’ is a great word,” Philpot said, and the others laughed.
The lecturer now drew a small square upon the wall below the other drawing. This square he filled in solid black.
The lecturer now drew a small square on the wall below the other drawing. He filled this square in completely with black.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | |
Tramps | Exploiters | All those | All those | |
Beggars | of Labour | engaged in | engaged in | |
Society | Thieves | unnecessary | necessary | U |
People | Swindlers | work | work—the | N |
Aristoc- | Pickpockets | production | E | |
racy | Burglars | of the | M | |
Great | Bishops | benefits | P | |
Landowners | Financiers | of | L | |
All those | Capitalists | civiliz- | O | |
possessed | Share- | ation | Y | |
of | holders | E | ||
hereditary | Ministers | D | ||
wealth | of religion |
This represents the total of the things produced by the people in division 4. |
![]() |
“This represents the total amount of the benefits of civilization and necessaries of life produced by the people in number four. We now proceed to ‘Share Out’ the things in the same way as they are actually divided amongst the different classes of the population under the present imbecile system.
“This represents the total amount of the benefits of civilization and necessities of life produced by the people in number four. We now proceed to ‘Share Out’ the things in the same way they are actually divided among the different classes of the population under the current foolish system."
“As the people in divisions one and two are universally considered to be the most worthy and deserving we give them—two-thirds of the whole.
“As the people in divisions one and two are widely regarded as the most worthy and deserving, we allocate to them two-thirds of the total.”
“The remainder we give to be ‘Shared Out’ amongst the people represented by divisions three and four.
“The rest we give to be ‘Shared Out’ among the people represented by divisions three and four.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | |
Tramps | Exploiters | All those | All those | |
Beggars | of Labour | engaged in | engaged in | |
Society | Thieves | unnecessary | necessary | U |
People | Swindlers | work | work—the | N |
Aristoc- | Pickpockets | production | E | |
racy | Burglars | of the | M | |
Great | Bishops | benefits | P | |
Landowners | Financiers | of | L | |
All those | Capitalists | civiliz- | O | |
possessed | Share- | ation | Y | |
of | holders | E | ||
hereditary | Ministers | D | ||
wealth | of religion |
\___________ ____________/ \___________ ___________/ \/ \/ |
![[Illustration]](images/blocks.png)
How the things produced by the people in division 4 are “shared
out” amongst the different classes of the population.
How the things made by the people in division 4 are “shared out” among the different classes of the population.
“Now you mustn’t run away with the idea that the people in three and four take their share quietly and divide the things equally between them. Not at all. Some get very little, some none, some more than a fair share. It is in these two divisions that the ferocious ‘Battle of Life’ ranges most fiercely; and of course in this battle the weak and the virtuous fare the worst. Even those whose exceptional abilities or opportunities enable them to succeed, are compelled to practise selfishness, because a man of exceptional ability who was not selfish would devote his abilities to relieving the manifest sufferings of others, and not to his own profit, and if he did the former he would not be successful in the sense that the world understands the word. All those who really seek to ‘Love their neighbour as themselves’, or to return good for evil, the gentle, the kind, and all those who refrain from doing to others the things they would not like to suffer themselves; all these are of necessity found amongst the vanquished; because only the worst—only those who are aggressive, cunning, selfish and mean are fitted to survive. And all these people in numbers three and four are so fully occupied in this dreadful struggle to secure a little, that but few of them pause to inquire why there are not more of the things they are fighting for, or why it is necessary to fight like this at all!”
“Now, don’t get the wrong idea that the people in groups three and four take their share calmly and divide things equally among themselves. Not at all. Some get very little, some get nothing, and some get more than their fair share. It's in these two groups that the brutal ‘Battle of Life’ rages most fiercely; and of course, in this battle, the weak and the virtuous suffer the most. Even those with exceptional skills or opportunities that help them succeed have to act selfishly, because a person with exceptional ability who isn’t selfish would use their talents to ease the obvious suffering of others instead of for their own gain, and if they did the former, they wouldn’t be successful in the way the world defines success. All those who truly try to ‘Love their neighbor as themselves’, or to respond to wrongs with kindness—the gentle, the kind, and everyone who avoids doing to others what they wouldn’t want done to themselves; all of these people inevitably end up among the defeated; because only the worst—only those who are aggressive, cunning, selfish, and mean—are suited to survive. And all these people in groups three and four are so caught up in this terrible struggle to grab a little for themselves that very few take a moment to wonder why there aren’t more of the things they are fighting for, or why it’s even necessary to fight like this at all!”
For a few minutes silence prevailed, each man’s mind being busy trying to think of some objection to the lecturer’s arguments.
For a few minutes, there was silence as each person tried to come up with some counterargument to the lecturer's points.
“How could the small number of people in number one and two consume as much as you’ve given ’em in your drorin’?” demanded Crass.
“How could the few people in one and two eat as much as you’ve given them in your drawing?” demanded Crass.
“They don’t actually consume all of it,” replied Owen. “Much of it is wantonly wasted. They also make fortunes by selling some of it in foreign countries; but they consume a great part of it themselves, because the amount of labour expended on the things enjoyed by these people is greater than that expended in the production of the things used by the workers. Most of the people who do nothing get the best of everything. More than three-quarters of the time of the working classes is spent in producing the things used by the wealthy. Compare the quality and quantity of the clothing possessed by the wife or daughter of a rich man with that of the wife or daughter of a worker. The time and labour spent on producing the one is twenty times greater in one case than in the other; and it’s the same with everything else. Their homes, their clothing, boots, hats, jewellery, and their food. Everything must be of the very best that art or long and painful labour can produce. But for most of those whose labour produces all these good things—anything is considered good enough. For themselves, the philanthropic workers manufacture shoddy cloth—that is, cheap cloth made of old rags and dirt; and shoddy, uncomfortable ironclad boots. If you see a workman wearing a really good suit of clothes you may safely conclude that he is either leading an unnatural life—that is, he is not married—or that he has obtained it from a tallyman on the hire system and has not yet paid for it—or that it is someone else’s cast-off suit that he has bought second-hand or had given to him by some charitable person. It’s the same with the food. All the ducks and geese, pheasants, partridges, and all the very best parts of the very best meat—all the soles and the finest plaice and salmon and trout—”
“They don’t actually use all of it,” Owen replied. “A lot of it is just wasted. They also make a fortune by selling some of it in other countries, but they consume a large part themselves, because the amount of labor that goes into the things enjoyed by these people is greater than what’s spent on the things used by workers. Most of the people who do nothing get the best of everything. More than three-quarters of the time of the working class is spent producing items for the wealthy. Just look at the quality and quantity of clothing owned by the wife or daughter of a rich man compared to that of a worker's family. The time and labor put into one is twenty times greater than the other; and this goes for everything else too. Their homes, their clothes, their boots, hats, jewelry, and food—all must be the absolute best that art or long, hard work can create. But for most of those whose labor produces these good things, anything is deemed good enough. The workers themselves make low-quality cloth—that is, cheap fabric made from old rags and dirt; and cheap, uncomfortable boots. If you see a worker wearing a really nice suit, you can bet he’s either living an unusual life—that is, he’s not married—or he got it from a loan arrangement and hasn’t paid for it yet—or it’s someone else’s hand-me-down that he bought second-hand or received from a charitable person. It’s the same situation with food. All the ducks and geese, pheasants, partridges, and all the best cuts of the best meats—all the soles and the finest plaice and salmon and trout—”
“’Ere chuck it,” cried Harlow, fiercely. “We don’t want to ’ear no more of it,” and several others protested against the lecturer wasting time on such mere details.
“Just throw it away,” shouted Harlow, angrily. “We don’t want to hear any more of this,” and several others complained about the lecturer wasting time on such trivial details.
“—all the very best of everything is reserved exclusively for the enjoyment of the people in divisions one and two, while the workers subsist on block ornaments, margarine, adulterated tea, mysterious beer, and are content—only grumbling when they are unable to obtain even such fare as this.”
“—all the best things in life are kept solely for the enjoyment of those in divisions one and two, while the workers get by on cheap decorations, margarine, low-quality tea, strange beer, and are satisfied—only complaining when they can’t even get these basic items.”
Owen paused and a gloomy silence followed, but suddenly Crass brightened up. He detected a serious flaw in the lecturer’s argument.
Owen stopped, and a heavy silence filled the room, but suddenly Crass perked up. He spotted a major flaw in the lecturer’s argument.
“You say the people in one and two gets all the best of everything, but what about the tramps and beggars? You’ve got them in division one.”
“You say the people in groups one and two get all the best of everything, but what about the homeless and beggars? You have them in division one.”
“Yes, I know. You see, that’s the proper place for them. They belong to a Loafer class. They are no better mentally or morally than any of the other loafers in that division; neither are they of any more use. Of course, when we consider them in relation to the amount they consume of the things produced by others, they are not so harmful as the other loafers, because they consume comparatively little. But all the same they are in their right place in that division. All those people don’t get the same share. The section represents not individuals—but the loafer class.”
“Yes, I get it. Look, that’s where they belong. They fit into the Loafer category. They aren’t any smarter or better in terms of morals than the other loafers in that group; they don’t contribute any more either. Sure, when we think about how much they use of what others produce, they’re not as damaging as the other loafers, because they use a lot less. But still, they’re exactly where they should be in that group. Not everyone gets an equal share. This section represents not individuals—but the loafer class.”
“But I thought you said you was goin’ to prove that money was the cause of poverty,” said Easton.
“But I thought you said you were going to prove that money was the cause of poverty,” Easton said.
“So it is,” said Owen. “Can’t you see that it’s money that’s caused all these people to lose sight of the true purpose of labour—the production of the things we need? All these people are suffering from the delusion that it doesn’t matter what kind of work they do—or whether they merely do nothing—so long as they get MONEY for doing it. Under the present extraordinary system, that’s the only object they have in view—to get money. Their ideas are so topsy-turvey that they regard with contempt those who are engaged in useful work! With the exception of criminals and the poorer sort of loafers, the working classes are considered to be the lowest and least worthy in the community. Those who manage to get money for doing something other than productive work are considered more worthy of respect on that account. Those who do nothing themselves, but get money out of the labour of others, are regarded as being more worthy still! But the ones who are esteemed most of all and honoured above all the rest, are those who obtain money for doing absolutely nothing!”
“So it is,” said Owen. “Can’t you see that money is what’s made all these people lose sight of the true purpose of work—the creation of the things we need? All these people are under the illusion that it doesn’t matter what kind of work they do—or if they do nothing at all—as long as they get MONEY for it. In this crazy system, that’s their only goal—to get money. Their views are so messed up that they look down on those who are doing meaningful work! Except for criminals and some of the poorer loafers, the working class is seen as the lowest and least deserving in society. Those who manage to earn money for doing something other than productive work are considered more deserving of respect. Even more so are those who don’t do anything themselves but profit from the labor of others! But the ones who are valued the most and praised above everyone else are those who get money for doing absolutely nothing!”
“But I can’t see as that proves that money is the cause of poverty,” said Easton.
“But I can’t see how that proves that money causes poverty,” said Easton.
“Look here,” said Owen. “The people in number four produce everything, don’t they?”
“Check this out,” said Owen. “The people in number four make everything, right?”
“Yes; we knows all about that,” interrupted Harlow. “But they gets paid for it, don’t they? They gets their wages.”
“Yeah; we know all about that,” interrupted Harlow. “But they get paid for it, right? They get their wages.”
“Yes, and what does their wages consist of?” said Owen.
“Yes, and what do they get paid?” Owen asked.
“Why, money, of course,” replied Harlow, impatiently.
“Why, money, of course,” Harlow replied, getting impatient.
“And what do they do with their money when they get it? Do they eat it, or drink it, or wear it?”
“And what do they do with their money when they get it? Do they eat it, drink it, or wear it?”
At this apparently absurd question several of those who had hitherto been attentive listeners laughed derisively; it was really very difficult to listen patiently to such nonsense.
At this seemingly ridiculous question, several of the attentive listeners laughed mockingly; it was genuinely hard to patiently listen to such nonsense.
“Of course they don’t,” answered Harlow scornfully. “They buy the things they want with it.”
“Of course they don’t,” Harlow replied with disdain. “They use it to buy the things they want.”
“Do you think that most of them manage to save a part of their wages—put it away in the bank.”
“Do you think most of them are able to save some of their pay—stash it in the bank?”
“Well, I can speak for meself,” replied Harlow amid laughter. “It takes me all my bloody time to pay my rent and other expenses and to keep my little lot in shoe leather, and it’s dam little I spend on beer; p’r’aps a tanner or a bob a week at the most.”
“Well, I can speak for myself,” replied Harlow amid laughter. “It takes me all my damn time to pay my rent and other bills and to keep my little family in shoes, and I spend very little on beer; maybe a dime or a dollar a week at the most.”
“A single man can save money if he likes,” said Slyme.
“A single guy can save money if he wants to,” said Slyme.
“I’m not speaking of single men,” replied Owen. “I’m referring to those who live natural lives.”
“I’m not talking about single men,” replied Owen. “I’m referring to those who live authentic lives.”
“What about all the money what’s in the Post Office Savings Bank, and Building and Friendly Societies?” said Crass.
“What about all the money in the Post Office Savings Bank and Building and Friendly Societies?” said Crass.
“A very large part of that belongs to people who are in business, or who have some other source of income than their own wages. There are some exceptionally fortunate workers who happen to have good situations and higher wages than the ordinary run of workmen. Then there are some who are so placed—by letting lodgings, for instance—that they are able to live rent free. Others whose wives go out to work; and others again who have exceptional jobs and work a lot of overtime—but these are all exceptional cases.”
“A significant portion of that goes to people who are in business or have some other source of income besides their wages. There are some particularly fortunate workers who have good jobs and earn higher wages than most workers. Then there are those who can live rent-free, such as those who rent out rooms. Others have wives who work, and there are still others with unique jobs who take on a lot of overtime—but these are all rare situations.”
“I say as no married workin’ man can save any money at all!” shouted Harlow, “not unless ’e goes without some of even the few things we are able to get—and makes ’is wife and kids go without as well.”
“I say that no married working man can save any money at all!” shouted Harlow, “not unless he goes without some of the few things we are able to get—and makes his wife and kids go without too.”
“’Ear, ’ear,” said everybody except Crass and Slyme, who were both thrifty working men, and each of them had some money saved in one or other of the institutions mentioned.
“‘Hear, hear,’” said everyone except Crass and Slyme, who were both frugal working men, and each of them had some money saved in one or another of the institutions mentioned.
“Then that means,” said Owen, “that means that the wages the people in division four receive is not equivalent to the work they do.”
“Then that means,” said Owen, “that the wages the people in division four receive aren’t equivalent to the work they do.”
“Wotcher mean, equivalent?” cried Crass. “Why the ’ell don’t yer talk plain English without draggin’ in a lot of long words wot nobody can’t understand?”
“What's that supposed to mean, equivalent?” yelled Crass. “Why the hell don’t you just speak plain English instead of dragging in a bunch of long words that nobody can understand?”
“I mean this,” replied Owen, speaking very slowly. “Everything is produced by the people in number four. In return for their work they are given—Money, and the things they have made become the property of the people who do nothing. Then, as the money is of no use, the workers go to shops and give it away in exchange for some of the things they themselves have made. They spend—or give back—ALL their wages; but as the money they got as wages is not equal in value to the things they produced, they find that they are only able to buy back a VERY SMALL PART. So you see that these little discs of metal—this Money—is a device for enabling those who do not work to rob the workers of the greater part of the fruits of their toil.”
“I mean this,” Owen replied slowly. “Everything is created by the people in apartment four. In exchange for their work, they receive money, and the things they’ve made become the property of those who don’t contribute. Then, since the money is of no real value, the workers go to stores and give it away to buy back some of the things they’ve produced themselves. They spend—or give back—ALL their earnings; but because the money they earned doesn’t match the value of what they created, they find they can only afford to buy back a VERY SMALL PORTION. So you see, these little discs of metal—this Money—is a tool that allows those who don’t work to take most of the benefits of the workers’ efforts.”
The silence that ensued was broken by Crass.
The silence that followed was interrupted by Crass.
“It sounds very pretty,” he sneered, “but I can’t make no ’ead or tail of it, meself.”
"It sounds really nice," he mocked, "but I can't make heads or tails of it, myself."
“Look here!” cried Owen. “The producing class—these people in number four are supposed to be paid for their work. Their wages are supposed to be equal in value to their work. But it’s not so. If it were, by spending all their wages, the producing class would be able to buy back All they had produced.”
“Look at this!” Owen shouted. “The working class—these people in number four are supposed to get paid for what they do. Their pay is supposed to match the value of their work. But that isn’t the case. If it were true, by spending all their earnings, the working class would be able to buy back everything they produced.”
Owen ceased speaking and silence once more ensued. No one gave any sign of understanding, or of agreeing or of disagreeing with what he had said. Their attitude was strictly neutral. Barrington’s pipe had gone out during the argument. He relit it from the fire with a piece of twisted paper.
Owen stopped talking and silence filled the room again. Nobody showed any sign of understanding, agreeing, or disagreeing with what he had said. Their stance was completely neutral. Barrington's pipe had gone out during the debate. He lit it again from the fire using a piece of twisted paper.
“If their wages were really equal in value to the product of their labour,” Owen repeated, “they would be able to buy back not a small part—but the Whole.”...
“If their wages were truly equal to the value of the products of their work,” Owen repeated, “they would be able to buy back not just a small part—but the Whole.”...
At this, a remark from Bundy caused a shout of laughter, and when Wantley added point to the joke by making a sound like the discharge of a pistol the merriment increased tenfold.
At this, something Bundy said made everyone laugh, and when Wantley added to the joke by mimicking the sound of a gun going off, the laughter grew even louder.
“Well, that’s done it,” remarked Easton, as he got up and opened the window.
“Well, that’s done it,” Easton said as he stood up and opened the window.
“It’s about time you was buried, if the smell’s anything to go by,” said Harlow, addressing Wantley, who laughed and appeared to think he had distinguished himself.
“It’s about time you were buried, if the smell is anything to go by,” said Harlow, speaking to Wantley, who laughed and seemed to think he had done something impressive.
“But even if we include the whole of the working classes,” continued Owen, “that is, the people in number three as well as those in number four, we find that their combined wages are insufficient to buy the things made by the producers. The total value of the wealth produced in this country during the last year was £1,800,000,000, and the total amount paid in wages during the same period was only £600,000,000. In other words, by means of the Money Trick, the workers were robbed of two-thirds of the value of their labour. All the people in numbers three and four are working and suffering and starving and fighting in order that the rich people in numbers one and two may live in luxury, and do nothing. These are the wretches who cause poverty: they not only devour or waste or hoard the things made by the worker, but as soon as their own wants are supplied—they compel the workers to cease working and prevent them producing the things they need. Most of these people!” cried Owen, his usually pale face flushing red and his eyes shining with sudden anger, “most of these people do not deserve to be called human beings at all! They’re devils! They know that whilst they are indulging in pleasures of every kind—all around them men and women and little children are existing in want or dying of hunger.”
“But even if we consider the entire working class,” Owen continued, “that is, the people in group three as well as those in group four, we see that their combined wages aren’t enough to buy the goods produced by the producers. The total value of wealth created in this country over the last year was £1,800,000,000, while the total amount paid in wages during that same time was only £600,000,000. In other words, through the Money Trick, the workers were robbed of two-thirds of the value of their labor. Everyone in groups three and four is working and suffering and starving and fighting so that the wealthy in groups one and two can live in luxury and do nothing. These are the wretches who create poverty: they not only consume or waste or hoard the things made by the workers, but as soon as their own needs are met—they force the workers to stop working and block them from producing what they need. Most of these people!” Owen exclaimed, his usually pale face turning red and his eyes shining with sudden anger, “most of these people don’t even deserve to be called human beings! They’re devils! They know that while they indulge in pleasures of every kind—men, women, and little children all around them are living in want or dying of hunger.”
The silence which followed was at length broken by Harlow:
The silence that followed was eventually broken by Harlow:
“You say the workers is entitled to all they produce, but you forget there’s the raw materials to pay for. They don’t make them, you know.”
“You say the workers deserve everything they create, but you forget there are raw materials to pay for. They don’t make those, you know.”
“Of course the workers don’t create the raw materials,” replied Owen. “But I am not aware that the capitalists or the landlords do so either. The raw materials exist in abundance in and on the earth, but they are of no use until labour has been applied to them.”
“Of course the workers don’t create the raw materials,” Owen replied. “But I’m not sure that the capitalists or the landlords do either. The raw materials are plentiful on and in the earth, but they’re useless until labor is applied to them.”
“But then, you see, the earth belongs to the landlords!” cried Crass, unguardedly.
“But then, you see, the land belongs to the landlords!” cried Crass, openly.
“I know that; and of course you think it’s right that the whole country should belong to a few people—”
“I know that; and of course you think it’s fair that the whole country should belong to just a few people—”
“I must call the lecturer to horder,” interrupted Philpot. “The land question is not before the meeting at present.”
“I need to call the lecturer to order,” interrupted Philpot. “The land question isn’t on the agenda for this meeting right now.”
“You talk about the producers being robbed of most of the value of what they produce,” said Harlow, “but you must remember that it ain’t all produced by hand labour. What about the things what’s made by machinery?”
“You talk about the producers being robbed of most of the value of what they create,” Harlow said, “but you have to remember that it’s not all produced by manual labor. What about the things that are made by machinery?”
“The machines themselves were made by the workers,” returned Owen, “but of course they do not belong to the workers, who have been robbed of them by means of the Money Trick.”
“The machines themselves were built by the workers,” Owen replied, “but obviously, they don’t belong to the workers, who have been cheated out of them through the Money Trick.”
“But who invented all the machinery?” cried Crass.
“But who came up with all the machinery?” shouted Crass.
“That’s more than you or I or anyone else can say,” returned Owen, “but it certainly wasn’t the wealthy loafer class, or the landlords, or the employers. Most of the men who invented the machinery lived and died unknown, in poverty and often in actual want. The inventors too were robbed by the exploiter-of-labour class. There are no men living at present who can justly claim to have invented the machinery that exists today. The most they can truthfully say is that they have added to or improved upon the ideas of those who lived and worked before them. Even Watt and Stevenson merely improved upon steam engines and locomotives already existing. Your question has really nothing to do with the subject we are discussing: we are only trying to find out why the majority of people have to go short of the benefits of civilization. One of the causes is—the majority of the population are engaged in work that does not produce those things; and most of what IS produced is appropriated and wasted by those who have no right to it.
"That's more than you, I, or anyone else can claim," Owen replied, "but it definitely wasn't the wealthy freeloaders, the landlords, or the employers. Most of the people who invented the machinery lived and died unknown, in poverty, and often in real need. The inventors were also exploited by the labor class. There are no living people today who can rightfully say they invented the machinery we have now. The best they can honestly claim is that they've added to or improved on the ideas of those who came before them. Even Watt and Stevenson just enhanced existing steam engines and locomotives. Your question really isn't related to the topic we're discussing: we're just trying to figure out why the majority of people lack the benefits of civilization. One reason is that most of the population is doing work that doesn't produce those benefits; and most of what IS produced is taken and wasted by those who have no right to it."
“The workers produce Everything! If you walk through the streets of a town or a city, and look around, Everything that you can see—Factories, Machinery, Houses, Railways, Tramways, Canals, Furniture, Clothing, Food and the very road or pavement you stand upon were all made by the working class, who spend all their wages in buying back only a very small part of the things they produce. Therefore what remains in the possession of their masters represents the difference between the value of the work done and the wages paid for doing it. This systematic robbery has been going on for generations, the value of the accumulated loot is enormous, and all of it, all the wealth at present in the possession of the rich, is rightly the property of the working class—it has been stolen from them by means of the Money Trick.”...
“The workers create everything! If you walk through the streets of a town or city and look around, everything you can see—factories, machinery, houses, railways, tramways, canals, furniture, clothing, food, and even the road or pavement you’re standing on—was all made by the working class, who spend all their earnings buying back only a tiny fraction of the things they produce. So what remains in the hands of their masters represents the difference between the value of the work done and the wages paid for it. This systematic theft has been happening for generations, and the value of the accumulated wealth is massive; everything currently owned by the rich rightfully belongs to the working class—it has been taken from them through the Money Trick.”
For some moments an oppressive silence prevailed. The men stared with puzzled, uncomfortable looks alternately at each other and at the drawings on the wall. They were compelled to do a little thinking on their own account, and it was a process to which they were unaccustomed. In their infancy they had been taught to distrust their own intelligence and to leave “thinking” to their “pastors” and masters and to their “betters” generally. All their lives they had been true to this teaching, they had always had blind, unreasoning faith in the wisdom and humanity of their pastors and masters. That was the reason why they and their children had been all their lives on the verge of starvation and nakedness, whilst their “betters”—who did nothing but the thinking—went clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day.
For a while, there was a heavy silence. The men looked at each other and the drawings on the wall with confused, uncomfortable expressions. They had to do some thinking for themselves, which was something they weren't used to. From a young age, they had been taught to distrust their own intelligence and to leave "thinking" to their "pastors," masters, and generally their "betters." They had followed this lesson throughout their lives, always having blind, unreasoning faith in the wisdom and kindness of their pastors and masters. That’s why they and their children had lived their whole lives on the brink of starvation and poverty, while their “betters” — who did nothing but think — wore fine clothes and lived in luxury every day.
Several men had risen from their seats and were attentively studying the diagrams Owen had drawn on the wall; and nearly all the others were making the same mental efforts—they were trying to think of something to say in defence of those who robbed them of the fruits of their toil.
Several men had gotten up from their seats and were closely looking at the diagrams Owen had drawn on the wall; and almost all the others were making the same mental effort—they were trying to come up with something to say in defense of those who had taken the rewards of their hard work.
“I don’t see no bloody sense in always runnin’ down the rich,” said Harlow at last. “There’s always been rich and poor in the world and there always will be.”
“I don’t see any sense in always criticizing the rich,” Harlow finally said. “There have always been rich and poor people in the world, and there always will be.”
“Of course,” said Slyme. “It says in the Bible that the poor shall always be with us.”
“Of course,” said Slyme. “It says in the Bible that the poor will always be among us.”
“What the bloody ’ell kind of system do you think we ought to ’ave?” demanded Crass. “If everything’s wrong, ’ow’s it goin’ to be altered?”
“What the heck kind of system do you think we should have?” demanded Crass. “If everything’s wrong, how’s it going to be changed?”
At this, everybody brightened up again, and exchanged looks of satisfaction and relief. Of course! It wasn’t necessary to think about these things at all! Nothing could ever be altered: it had always been more or less the same, and it always would be.
At this, everyone perked up again and shared looks of satisfaction and relief. Of course! There was no need to dwell on these things at all! Nothing could ever change: it had always been pretty much the same, and it always would be.
“It seems to me that you all HOPE it is impossible to alter it,” said Owen. “Without trying to find out whether it could be done, you persuade yourselves that it is impossible, and then, instead of being sorry, you’re glad!”
“It seems to me that you all HOPE it can't be changed,” Owen said. “Without even trying to see if it can be done, you convince yourselves that it’s impossible, and instead of feeling sorry about it, you’re actually happy!”
Some of them laughed in a silly, half-ashamed way.
Some of them laughed in a goofy, somewhat embarrassed way.
“How do YOU reckon it could be altered?” said Harlow.
“How do you think it could be changed?” Harlow asked.
“The way to alter it is, first to enlighten the people as to the real cause of their sufferings, and then—”
“The way to change things is, first to inform the people about the real reasons for their struggles, and then—”
“Well,” interrupted Crass, with a self-satisfied chuckle, “it’ll take a better bloody man than you to enlighten ME!”
“Well,” interrupted Crass, with a self-satisfied chuckle, “it’ll take a better damn man than you to enlighten ME!”
“I don’t want to be henlightened into Darkness!” said Slyme piously.
“I don’t want to be enlightened into Darkness!” said Slyme earnestly.
“But what sort of System do you propose, then?” repeated Harlow.
“But what kind of system are you suggesting, then?” Harlow repeated.
“After you’ve got ’em all enlightened—if you don’t believe in sharing out all the money equal, how ARE you goin’ to alter it?”
“After you've got them all informed—if you don't believe in sharing all the money equally, how are you going to change that?”
“I don’t know ’ow ’e’s goin’ to alter it,” sneered Crass, looking at his watch and standing up, “but I do know what the time is—two minits past one!”
“I don’t know how he’s going to change it,” sneered Crass, checking his watch and standing up, “but I do know what time it is—two minutes past one!”
“The next lecture,” said Philpot, addressing the meeting as they all prepared to return to work, “the next lecture will be postponded till tomorrer at the usual time, when it will be my painful dooty to call upon Mr Owen to give ’is well-known and most hobnoxious address entitled ‘Work and how to avoid it.’ Hall them as wants to be henlightened kindly attend.”
“The next lecture,” said Philpot, addressing the meeting as they all prepared to return to work, “the next lecture will be postponed until tomorrow at the usual time, when it will be my unpleasant duty to invite Mr. Owen to give his well-known and most obnoxious address titled ‘Work and How to Avoid It.’ All those who want to be enlightened, please attend.”
“Or hall them as don’t get the sack tonight,” remarked Easton grimly.
“Or hope that they don’t get fired tonight,” Easton said grimly.
Chapter 26
The Slaughter
During the afternoon, Rushton and Sweater visited the house, the latter having an appointment to meet there a gardener to whom he wished to give instructions concerning the laying out of the grounds, which had been torn up for the purpose of putting in the new drains. Sweater had already arranged with the head gardener of the public park to steal some of the best plants from that place and have them sent up to “The Cave”. These plants had been arriving in small lots for about a week. They must have been brought there either in the evening after the men left off or very early in the morning before they came. The two gentlemen remained at the house for about half an hour and as they went away the mournful sound of the Town Hall bell—which was always tolled to summon meetings of the Council—was heard in the distance, and the hands remarked to each other that another robbery was about to be perpetrated.
During the afternoon, Rushton and Sweater went to the house, with Sweater scheduled to meet a gardener there to give him instructions on how to layout the grounds, which had been dug up to install new drains. Sweater had already coordinated with the head gardener of the public park to sneak some of the best plants from there and have them sent to “The Cave.” These plants had been arriving in small batches for about a week. They must have been brought in either after the workers left in the evening or very early in the morning before they arrived. The two men stayed at the house for about half an hour, and as they left, they heard the sad sound of the Town Hall bell—always rung to call Council meetings—in the distance. The hands commented to each other that another robbery was about to take place.
Hunter did not come to the job again that day: he had been sent by Rushton to price some work for which the firm was going to tender an estimate. There was only one person who felt any regret at his absence, and that was Mrs White—Bert’s mother, who had been working at “The Cave” for several days, scrubbing the floors. As a rule, Hunter paid her wages every night, and on this occasion she happened to need the money even more than usual. As leaving off time drew near, she mentioned the matter to Crass, who advised her to call at the office on her way home and ask the young lady clerk for the money. As Hunter did not appear, she followed the foreman’s advice.
Hunter didn’t show up for work that day. Rushton had sent him to get quotes for a job the company was going to bid on. The only person who missed him was Mrs. White—Bert’s mom—who had been cleaning the floors at "The Cave" for several days. Typically, Hunter paid her at the end of each day, and this time she really needed the money. As quitting time approached, she brought it up with Crass, who suggested she stop by the office on her way home and ask the young lady clerk for her pay. Since Hunter didn’t show, she took the foreman’s advice.
When she reached the shop Rushton was just coming out. She explained to him what she wanted and he instructed Mr Budd to tell Miss Wade to pay her. The shopman accordingly escorted her to the office at the back of the shop, and the young lady book-keeper—after referring to former entries to make quite certain of the amount, paid her the sum that Hunter had represented as her wages, the same amount that Miss Wade had on the previous occasions given him to pay the charwoman. When Mrs White got outside she found that she held in her hand half a crown instead of the two shillings she usually received from Mr Hunter. At first she felt inclined to take it back, but after some hesitation she thought it better to wait until she saw Hunter, when she could tell him about it; but the next morning when she saw the disciple at “The Cave” he broached the subject first, and told her that Miss Wade had made a mistake. And that evening when he paid her, he deducted the sixpence from the usual two shillings.
When she got to the shop, Rushton was just coming out. She told him what she needed, and he told Mr. Budd to let Miss Wade know to pay her. The shopkeeper then took her to the office in the back of the shop, and the young lady bookkeeper—after checking previous entries to confirm the amount—gave her the sum that Hunter had said was her wages, the same amount that Miss Wade had previously handed him to pay the cleaner. When Mrs. White stepped outside, she realized she was holding half a crown instead of the usual two shillings she got from Mr. Hunter. At first, she thought about returning it, but after some thought, she decided it was better to wait until she saw Hunter to tell him about it. However, the next morning when she saw him at “The Cave,” he brought up the topic first and mentioned that Miss Wade had made a mistake. That evening, when he paid her, he deducted the sixpence from the usual two shillings.
The lecture announced by Philpot was not delivered. Anxiously awaiting the impending slaughter the men kept tearing into it as usual, for they generally keep working in the usual way, each one trying to outdo the others so as not to lose his chance of being one of the lucky ones...
The lecture that Philpot announced never happened. The guys, nervously waiting for the upcoming chaos, kept pushing through it as they usually do, each one trying to outdo the others so they wouldn't miss their shot at being one of the lucky ones...
Misery now went round and informed all the men with the exception of Crass, Owen, Slyme and Sawkins—that they would have to stand off that night. He told them that the firm had several jobs in view—work they had tendered for and hoped to get, and said they could look round after Christmas and he might—possibly—be able to start some of them again. They would be paid at the office tomorrow—Saturday—at one o’clock as usual, but if any of them wished they could have their money tonight. The men thanked him, and most of them said they would come for their wages at the usual pay-time, and would call round as he suggested, after the holidays, to see if there was anything to do.
Misery now went around and told all the guys except for Crass, Owen, Slyme, and Sawkins that they would have to take the night off. He mentioned that the company had several projects lined up—jobs they had bid on and were hoping to land—and said they could check back after Christmas, and he might—possibly—be able to start some of them again. They would get paid at the office tomorrow—Saturday—at one o’clock as usual, but if anyone wanted, they could pick up their money tonight. The men thanked him, and most said they would come for their wages at the usual time and would stop by as he suggested after the holidays to see if there was anything available.
In all, fifteen men—including Philpot, Harlow, Easton and Ned Dawson, were to “stand off” that night. They took their dismissal stolidly, without any remark, some of them even with an affectation of indifference, but there were few attempts at conversation afterwards. The little work that remained to be done they did in silence, every man oppressed by the same terror—the dread of the impending want, the privation and unhappiness that they knew they and their families would have to suffer during the next few months.
In total, fifteen men—including Philpot, Harlow, Easton, and Ned Dawson—were supposed to “stand off” that night. They accepted their dismissal calmly, without saying anything, some even pretending to be indifferent, but there were hardly any conversations afterwards. The little work that was left to do was completed in silence, with each man weighed down by the same fear—the anxiety about the upcoming hardship, the lack and misery that they knew they and their families would have to face over the next few months.
Bundy and his mate Dawson were working in the kitchen fixing the new range in place of the old one which they had taken out. They had been engaged on this job all day, and their hands and faces and clothes were covered with soot, which they had also contrived to smear and dab all over the surfaces of the doors and other woodwork in the room, much to the indignation of Crass and Slyme, who had to wash it all off before they could put on the final coat of paint.
Bundy and his buddy Dawson were in the kitchen installing the new stove to replace the old one they had removed. They had been at it all day, and their hands, faces, and clothes were covered in soot, which they had also managed to smear all over the doors and other woodwork in the room. This caused quite a bit of irritation for Crass and Slyme, who had to clean everything off before they could apply the final coat of paint.
“You can’t help makin’ a little mess on a job of this kind, you know,” remarked Bundy, as he was giving the finishing touches to the work, making good the broken parts of the wall with cement, whilst his mate was clearing away the debris.
“You can’t help making a little mess on a job like this, you know,” remarked Bundy, as he put the finishing touches on the work, repairing the broken parts of the wall with cement, while his partner was clearing away the debris.
“Yes; but there’s no need to claw “old of the bloody doors every time you goes in and out,” snarled Crass, “and you could ’ave put yer tools on the floor instead of makin’ a bench of the dresser.”
“Yes; but there’s no need to scrape the bloody doors every time you go in and out,” snapped Crass, “and you could have put your tools on the floor instead of turning the dresser into a bench.”
“You can ’ave the bloody place all to yerself in about five minutes,” replied Bundy, as he assisted to lift a sack of cement weighing about two hundredweight on to Dawson’s back. “We’re finished now.”
“You can have the whole place to yourself in about five minutes,” replied Bundy, as he helped lift a sack of cement weighing around two hundred pounds onto Dawson’s back. “We’re done now.”
When they had cleared away all the dirt and fragments of bricks and mortar, while Crass and Slyme proceeded with the painting, Bundy and Dawson loaded up their hand-cart with the old range and the bags of unused cement and plaster, which they took back to the yard. Meantime, Misery was wandering about the house and gounds like an evil spirit seeking rest and finding none. He stood for some time gloomily watching the four gardeners, who were busily at work laying strips of turf, mowing the lawn, rolling the gravel paths and trimming the trees and bushes. The boy Bert, Philpot, Harlow, Easton and Sawkins were loading a hand-cart with ladders and empty paint-pots to return to the yard. Just as they were setting out, Misery stopped them, remarking that the cart was not half loaded—he said it would take a month to get all the stuff away if they went on like that; so by his directions they placed another long ladder on top of the pile and once more started on their way, but before they had gone two dozen yards one of the wheels of the cart collapsed and the load was scattered over the roadway. Bert was at the same side of the cart as the wheel that broke and he was thrown violently to the ground, where he lay half stunned, in the midst of the ladders and planks. When they got him out they were astonished to find that, thanks to the special Providence that watches over all small boys, he was almost unhurt—just a little dazed, that was all; and by the time Sawkins returned with another cart, Bert was able to help to gather up the fallen paint-pots and to accompany the men with the load to the yard. At the corner of the road they paused to take a last look at the “job”.
When they had cleared away all the dirt and bits of bricks and mortar, Crass and Slyme continued painting while Bundy and Dawson loaded their hand cart with the old range and bags of unused cement and plaster, which they took back to the yard. Meanwhile, Misery was wandering around the house and grounds like a restless spirit, unable to find peace. He stood for a while, gloomily watching the four gardeners who were hard at work laying turf, mowing the lawn, rolling the gravel paths, and trimming the trees and bushes. The boys Bert, Philpot, Harlow, Easton, and Sawkins were loading a hand cart with ladders and empty paint cans to return to the yard. Just as they were about to leave, Misery stopped them, saying the cart wasn’t fully loaded—he claimed it would take a month to get rid of everything if they kept loading it that way. So, following his instructions, they added another long ladder on top of the pile and set off again, but before they had gone twenty yards, one of the cart’s wheels broke, causing the load to spill onto the road. Bert was on the same side as the broken wheel and was thrown hard to the ground, where he lay half-stunned among the ladders and planks. When they managed to get him out, they were shocked to find that, thanks to the special protection that looks out for all small boys, he was mostly unhurt—just a little dazed, that was all; and by the time Sawkins returned with another cart, Bert was able to help gather up the fallen paint cans and accompany the men with the load back to the yard. At the corner of the road, they paused to take one last look at the “job.”
“There it stands!” said Harlow, tragically, extending his arm towards the house. “There it stands! A job that if they’d only have let us do it properly, couldn’t ’ave been done with the number of ’ands we’ve ’ad, in less than four months; and there it is, finished, messed up, slobbered over and scamped, in nine weeks!”
“There it is!” Harlow said dramatically, pointing at the house. “There it is! A job that if they’d just let us do it right, couldn’t have been finished with the number of workers we had in less than four months; and there it is, completed, botched, disrespected, and rushed, in nine weeks!”
“Yes, and now we can all go to ’ell,” said Philpot, gloomily.
“Yes, and now we can all go to hell,” Philpot said glumly.
At the yard they found Bundy and his mate, Ned Dawson, who helped them to hang up the ladders in their usual places. Philpot was glad to get out of assisting to do this, for he had contracted a rather severe attack of rheumatism when working outside at the “Cave”. Whilst the others were putting the ladders away he assisted Bert to carry the paint-pots and buckets into the paint shop, and while there he filled a small medicine bottle he had brought with him for the purpose, with turpentine from the tank. He wanted this stuff to rub into his shoulders and legs, and as he secreted the bottle in the inner pocket of his coat, he muttered: “This is where we gets some of our own back.”
At the yard, they found Bundy and his buddy, Ned Dawson, who helped them hang up the ladders in their usual spots. Philpot was relieved to skip this task because he had developed a pretty bad case of rheumatism while working outside at the “Cave.” While the others were putting the ladders away, he helped Bert carry the paint pots and buckets into the paint shop. While he was there, he filled a small medicine bottle he brought for that purpose with turpentine from the tank. He needed this stuff to rub on his shoulders and legs, and as he tucked the bottle into the inner pocket of his coat, he mumbled, “This is where we get some of our own back.”
They took the key of the yard to the office and as they separated to go home Bundy suggested that the best thing they could do would be to sew their bloody mouths up for a few months, because there was not much probability of their getting another job until about March.
They took the yard key to the office, and when they split up to head home, Bundy suggested that the best thing they could do was to keep quiet for a few months since it was unlikely they'd find another job until around March.
The next morning while Crass and Slyme were finishing inside, Owen wrote the two gates. On the front entrance “The Cave” and on the back “Tradesmens Entrance”, in gilded letters. In the meantime, Sawkins and Bert made several journeys to the Yard with the hand-cart.
The next morning while Crass and Slyme were wrapping up inside, Owen painted the two gates. On the front entrance, he wrote "The Cave," and on the back, "Tradesmen's Entrance," in gold letters. In the meantime, Sawkins and Bert made several trips to the Yard with the handcart.
Crass—working in the kitchen with Slyme—was very silent and thoughtful. Ever since the job was started, every time Mr Sweater had visited the house to see what progress was being made, Crass had been grovelling to him in the hope of receiving a tip when the work was finished. He had been very careful to act upon any suggestions that Sweater had made from time to time and on several occasions had taken a lot of trouble to get just the right tints of certain colours, making up a number of different shades and combinations, and doing parts of the skirtings or mouldings of rooms in order that Mr Sweater might see exactly—before they went on with it—what it would look like when finished. He made a great pretence of deferring to Sweater’s opinion, and assured him that he did not care how much trouble he took as long as he—Sweater—was pleased. In fact, it was no trouble at all: it was a pleasure. As the work neared completion, Crass began to speculate upon the probable amount of the donation he would receive as the reward of nine weeks of cringing, fawning, abject servility. He thought it quite possible that he might get a quid: it would not be too much, considering all the trouble he had taken. It was well worth it. At any rate, he felt certain that he was sure to get ten bob; a gentleman like Mr Sweater would never have the cheek to offer less. The more he thought about it the more improbable it appeared that the amount would be less than a quid, and he made up his mind that whatever he got he would take good care that none of the other men knew anything about it. HE was the one who had had all the worry of the job, and he was the only one entitled to anything there was to be had. Besides, even if he got a quid, by the time you divided that up amongst a dozen—or even amongst two or three—it would not be worth having.
Crass—working in the kitchen with Slyme—was very quiet and pensive. Ever since the job started, every time Mr. Sweater had come over to check on the progress, Crass had been kissing up to him, hoping for a tip when the work was finished. He had been careful to follow any suggestions Sweater made and had gone to great lengths to mix just the right shades of certain colors, creating various tones and combinations, and painting parts of the skirtings or moldings so Mr. Sweater could see exactly—before they proceeded—what it would look like when done. He pretended to value Sweater’s opinion highly and assured him that he didn’t mind how much effort he put in as long as Sweater was happy. In reality, it was no trouble; it was a pleasure. As the work got closer to completion, Crass began to think about how much he might get as a reward for nine weeks of bowing, flattering, and serving. He figured there was a good chance he might get a quid: it wouldn’t be too much considering all the hassle he had gone through. It was worth it. At the very least, he was sure he would get ten bob; a guy like Mr. Sweater wouldn’t have the nerve to offer less. The more he thought about it, the more unlikely it seemed that the amount would be less than a quid, and he decided that whatever he got would be kept secret from the other workers. He was the one who had dealt with all the stress of the job, and he was the only one entitled to any of the reward. Besides, even if he got a quid, by the time it was split among a dozen—or even two or three—it wouldn’t be worth it.
At about eleven o’clock Mr Sweater arrived and began to walk over the house, followed by Crass, who carried a pot of paint and a small brush and made believe to be “touching up” and finishing off parts of the work. As Sweater went from one room to another Crass repeatedly placed himself in the way in the hope of being spoken to, but Sweater took no notice of him whatever. Once or twice Crass’s heart began to beat quickly as he furtively watched the great man and saw him thrust his thumb and finger into his waistcoat pocket, but on each occasion Sweater withdrew his hand with nothing in it. After a while, observing that the gentleman was about to depart without having spoken, Crass determined to break the ice himself.
At around eleven o’clock, Mr. Sweater arrived and started walking around the house, followed by Crass, who was carrying a paint pot and a small brush, pretending to be “touching up” and finishing part of the work. As Sweater moved from room to room, Crass repeatedly positioned himself in the way, hoping to get a word from him, but Sweater completely ignored him. A couple of times, Crass’s heart raced as he secretly watched the important man reach into his waistcoat pocket, but each time Sweater pulled his hand out empty. After a while, noticing that the gentleman was about to leave without saying anything, Crass decided to take the initiative and break the silence himself.
“It’s a little better weather we’re ’avin’ now, sir.”
“It’s a bit nicer out now, sir.”
“Yes,” replied Sweater.
“Yeah,” replied Sweater.
“I was beginnin’ to be afraid as I shouldn’t be hable to git heverything finished in time for you to move in before Christmas, sir,” Crass continued, “but it’s hall done now, sir.”
“I was starting to get worried that I wouldn't be able to get everything finished in time for you to move in before Christmas, sir,” Crass continued, “but it’s all done now, sir.”
Sweater made no reply.
Sweater didn't respond.
“I’ve kept the fire agoin’ in hall the rooms has you told me, sir,” resumed Crass after a pause. “I think you’ll find as the place is nice and dry, sir; the honly places as is a bit damp is the kitchen and scullery and the other rooms in the basement, sir, but of course that’s nearly halways the case, sir, when the rooms is partly hunderground, sir.
“I’ve kept the fire going in all the rooms like you told me, sir,” Crass continued after a pause. “I think you’ll find that the place is nice and dry, sir; the only places that are a bit damp are the kitchen, the scullery, and the other rooms in the basement, sir, but of course that’s pretty much always the case, sir, when the rooms are partially underground, sir.”
“But of course it don’t matter so much about the basement, sir, because it’s honly the servants what ’as to use it, sir, and even down there it’ll be hall right hin the summer, sir.”
“But of course it doesn’t matter that much about the basement, sir, because it’s only the servants who have to use it, sir, and even down there it’ll be just fine in the summer, sir.”
One would scarcely think, from the contemptuous way in which he spoke of “servants” that Crass’s own daughter was “in service”, but such was the case.
One would hardly believe, from the dismissive way he talked about “servants,” that Crass’s own daughter was “in service,” but that was the situation.
“Oh, yes, there’s no doubt about that,” replied Sweater as he moved towards the door; “there’s no doubt it will be dry enough in the summer. Good morning.”
“Oh, yes, there’s no doubt about that,” replied Sweater as he walked toward the door; “there’s no doubt it will be dry enough in the summer. Good morning.”
“Good morning to YOU, sir,” said Crass, following him. “I ’opes as you’re pleased with all the work, sir; everything satisfactory, sir.”
“Good morning to you, sir,” Crass said, following him. “I hope you're happy with all the work, sir; everything satisfactory, sir.”
“Oh, yes. I think it looks very nice; very nice indeed; I’m very pleased with it,” said Sweater affably. “Good morning.”
“Oh, yes. I think it looks really nice; really nice indeed; I’m very happy with it,” said Sweater cheerfully. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, sir,” replied the foreman with a sickly smile as Sweater departed.
“Good morning, sir,” the foreman said with a weak smile as Sweater left.
When the other was gone, Crass sat down dejectedly on the bottom step of the stairs, overwhelmed with the ruin of his hopes and expectations. He tried to comfort himself with the reflection that all hope was not lost, because he would have to come to the house again on Monday and Tuesday to fix the venetian blinds; but all the same he could not help thinking that it was only a very faint hope, for he felt that if Sweater had intended giving anything he would have done so today; and it was very improbable that he would see Sweater on Monday or Tuesday at all, for the latter did not usually visit the job in the early part of the week. However, Crass made up his mind to hope for the best, and, pulling himself together, he presently returned to the kitchen, where he found Slyme and Sawkins waiting for him. He had not mentioned his hopes of a tip to either of them, but they did not need any telling and they were both determined to have their share of whatever he got. They eyed him keenly as he entered.
When the other person left, Crass sat down sadly on the bottom step of the stairs, feeling crushed by the collapse of his hopes and expectations. He tried to reassure himself by thinking that all hope wasn't lost, since he would have to come back to the house on Monday and Tuesday to fix the Venetian blinds; but still, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was just a slim chance, because he believed that if Sweater had meant to give anything, he would have done it today. It was also unlikely that he would see Sweater on Monday or Tuesday at all, as Sweater didn't usually visit the job early in the week. Nevertheless, Crass decided to stay optimistic, and, gathering himself, he went back to the kitchen, where he found Slyme and Sawkins waiting for him. He hadn't mentioned his tip expectations to either of them, but they didn't need to be told and were both determined to get their share of whatever he received. They watched him closely as he walked in.
“What did ’e give yer?” demanded Sawkins, going straight to the point.
“What did he give you?” asked Sawkins, getting straight to the point.
“Give me?” replied Crass. “Nothing!”
“Give me?” Crass replied. “Nothing!”
Slyme laughed in a sneering, incredulous way, but Sawkins was inclined to be abusive. He averred that he had been watching Crass and Sweater and had seen the latter put his thumb and finger into his waistcoat pocket as he walked into the dining-room, followed by Crass. It took the latter a long time to convince his two workmates of the truth of his own account, but he succeeded at last, and they all three agreed that Old Sweater was a sanguinary rotter, and they lamented over the decay of the good old-fashioned customs.
Slyme laughed in a mocking, disbelieving way, but Sawkins was more inclined to be rude. He claimed that he had been watching Crass and Sweater and had seen the latter put his thumb and finger into his waistcoat pocket as he walked into the dining room, followed by Crass. It took Crass a while to convince his two coworkers of the truth of his story, but he eventually did, and the three of them agreed that Old Sweater was a real jerk, lamenting the decline of good old-fashioned customs.
“Why, at one time o’ day,” said Crass, “only a few years ago, if you went to a gentleman’s ’ouse to paint one or two rooms you could always be sure of a bob or two when you’d finished.”
“Why, not too long ago,” said Crass, “if you went to a gentleman’s house to paint a couple of rooms, you could always expect to get a quid or two when you were done.”
By half past twelve everything was squared up, and, having loaded up the hand-cart with all that remained of the materials, dirty paint-pots and plant, they all set out together for the yard, to put all the things away before going to the office for their money. Sawkins took the handle of the cart, Slyme and Crass walked at one side and Owen and Bert at the other. There was no need to push, for the road was downhill most of the way; so much so that they had all to help to hold back the cart, which travelled so rapidly that Bert found it difficult to keep pace with the others and frequently broke into a trot to recover lost ground, and Crass—being fleshy and bloated with beer, besides being unused to much exertion—began to perspire and soon appealed to the others not to let it go so fast—there was no need to get done before one o’clock.
By 12:30, everything was wrapped up. After loading the handcart with the leftover materials, dirty paint pots, and plants, they all headed to the yard to put things away before going to the office to collect their pay. Sawkins took the handle of the cart, while Slyme and Crass walked on one side, and Owen and Bert walked on the other. They didn't need to push because the road sloped downhill most of the way; in fact, they all had to help slow the cart down, which was moving so fast that Bert struggled to keep up with the others and often had to jog to regain his position. Crass—heavyset, bloated from beer, and not used to much exercise—started to sweat and soon asked the others not to let the cart go so quickly—there was no rush to finish before one o'clock.
Chapter 27
The March of the Imperialists
It was an unusually fine day for the time of year, and as they passed along the Grand Parade—which faced due south—they felt quite warm. The Parade was crowded with richly dressed and bejewelled loafers, whose countenances in many instances bore unmistakable signs of drunkenness and gluttony. Some of the females had tried to conceal the ravages of vice and dissipation by coating their faces with powder and paint. Mingling with and part of this crowd were a number of well-fed-looking individuals dressed in long garments of black cloth of the finest texture, and broad-brimmed soft felt hats. Most of these persons had gold rings on their soft white fingers and glove-like kid or calfskin boots on their feet. They belonged to the great army of imposters who obtain an easy living by taking advantage of the ignorance and simplicity of their fellow-men, and pretending to be the “followers” and “servants” of the lowly Carpenter of Nazareth—the Man of Sorrows, who had not where to lay His head.
It was an unusually nice day for the season, and as they walked along the Grand Parade—which faced directly south—they felt quite warm. The Parade was packed with extravagantly dressed and jeweled loafers, many of whom showed clear signs of drunkenness and indulgence on their faces. Some of the women had tried to hide the effects of vice and excess by plastering their faces with powder and makeup. Among this crowd were several well-fed individuals wearing long coats made of the finest black cloth and wide-brimmed soft felt hats. Most of them had gold rings on their soft, white fingers and wore glove-like leather boots. They were part of the vast group of con artists who make a living by exploiting the ignorance and naivety of others, pretending to be the “followers” and “servants” of the humble Carpenter from Nazareth—the Man of Sorrows, who had no place to rest His head.
None of these black-garbed “disciples” were associating with the groups of unemployed carpenters, bricklayers, plasterers, and painters who stood here and there in the carriage-way dressed in mean and shabby clothing and with faces pale with privation. Many of these latter were known to our friends with the cart, and nodded to them as they passed. Now and then some of them came over and walked a little distance by their side, inquiring whether there was any news of another job at Rushton’s.
None of these black-clad “disciples” were mingling with the groups of unemployed carpenters, bricklayers, plasterers, and painters who stood here and there in the roadway dressed in ragged and shabby clothes, their faces pale from hardship. Many of these individuals were familiar to our friends with the cart, and they nodded as they passed by. Occasionally, some of them would come over and walk a short distance alongside them, asking if there was any word about another job at Rushton’s.
When they were about half-way down the Parade, just near the Fountain, Crass and his mates encountered a number of men on whose arms were white bands with the word “Collector” in black letters. They carried collecting boxes and accosted the people in the street, begging for money for the unemployed. These men were a kind of skirmishers for the main body, which could be seen some distance behind.
When they were about halfway down the Parade, right by the Fountain, Crass and his friends came across several men wearing white armbands that said “Collector” in black letters. They were carrying collection boxes and approached people on the street, asking for donations for the unemployed. These men were like scouts for the larger group, which could be seen a bit further back.
As the procession drew near, Sawkins steered the cart into the kerb and halted as they went past. There were about three hundred men altogether, marching four abreast. They carried three large white banners with black letters, “Thanks to our Subscribers”, “In aid of Genuine Unemployed”, “The Children must be Fed”. Although there were a number of artisans in the procession, the majority of the men belonged to what is called the unskilled labourer class. The skilled artisan does not as a rule take part in such a procession except as a very last resource... And all the time he strives to keep up an appearance of being well-to-do, and would be highly indignant if anyone suggested that he was really in a condition of abject, miserable poverty. Although he knows that his children are often not so well fed as are the pet dogs and cats of his “betters”, he tries to bluff his neighbours into thinking that he has some mysterious private means of which they know nothing, and conceals his poverty as if it were a crime. Most of this class of men would rather starve than beg. Consequently not more than a quarter of the men in the procession were skilled artisans; the majority were labourers.
As the procession approached, Sawkins pulled the cart to the curb and stopped as they passed by. There were about three hundred men in total, marching four across. They carried three large white banners with black lettering: “Thanks to our Subscribers,” “In Aid of Genuine Unemployed,” and “The Children Must Be Fed.” While there were some skilled workers in the procession, most of the men were from what's known as the unskilled labor class. Skilled workers usually don’t participate in such marches unless it’s a last resort... They constantly try to maintain an appearance of being well-off and would be very upset if anyone suggested that they were in a state of extreme poverty. Even though they know their children often eat less than the pampered pets of the wealthy, they try to trick their neighbors into believing they have some hidden source of income that no one knows about, hiding their financial struggles as if it were a crime. Most of these men would rather go hungry than beg. As a result, no more than a quarter of the men in the procession were skilled workers; the majority were laborers.
There was also a sprinkling of those unfortunate outcasts of society—tramps and destitute, drunken loafers. If the self-righteous hypocrites who despise these poor wretches had been subjected to the same conditions, the majority of them would inevitably have become the same as these.
There was also a mix of those unfortunate outcasts of society—homeless people and broke, drunken drifters. If the self-righteous hypocrites who look down on these poor souls had faced the same circumstances, most of them would likely have ended up like these.
Haggard and pale, shabbily or raggedly dressed, their boots broken and down at heel, they slouched past. Some of them stared about with a dazed or half-wild expression, but most of them walked with downcast eyes or staring blankly straight in front of them. They appeared utterly broken-spirited, hopeless and ashamed...
Haggard and pale, poorly dressed and ragged, their boots worn out and falling apart, they trudged by. Some of them looked around with a dazed or wild expression, but most kept their eyes lowered or stared blankly ahead. They seemed completely defeated, hopeless, and ashamed...
“Anyone can see what THEY are,” sneered Crass, “there isn’t fifty genuine tradesmen in the whole crowd, and most of ’em wouldn’t work if they ’ad the offer of it.”
“Anyone can see what they are,” Crass sneered, “there aren’t fifty real tradesmen in the whole crowd, and most of them wouldn’t work even if they were offered a job.”
“That’s just what I was thinkin’,” agreed Sawkins with a laugh.
"That’s exactly what I was thinking," agreed Sawkins with a laugh.
“There will be plenty of time to say that when they have been offered work and have refused to do it,” said Owen.
“There will be plenty of time to say that when they’ve been offered jobs and have turned them down,” said Owen.
“This sort of thing does the town a lot of ’arm,” remarked Slyme; “it oughtn’t to be allowed; the police ought to stop it. It’s enough to drive all the gentry out of the place!”
“This kind of thing really hurts the town,” Slyme said. “It shouldn’t be allowed; the police should put a stop to it. It’s enough to drive all the upper-class people out of here!”
“Bloody disgraceful, I call it,” said Crass, “marchin’ along the Grand Parade on a beautiful day like this, just at the very time when most of the gentry is out enjoyin’ the fresh hair.”
“Absolutely disgraceful, I say,” Crass remarked, “strolling down the Grand Parade on a lovely day like this, just when most of the upper class is out enjoying the fresh air.”
“I suppose you think they ought to stay at home and starve quietly,” said Owen. “I don’t see why these men should care what harm they do to the town; the town doesn’t seem to care much what becomes of THEM.”
“I guess you think they should just stay at home and starve in silence,” said Owen. “I don’t understand why these guys should worry about the damage they do to the town; the town doesn’t seem to care much about what happens to THEM.”
“Do you believe in this sort of thing, then?” asked Slyme.
“Do you believe in this kind of thing, then?” asked Slyme.
“No; certainly not. I don’t believe in begging as a favour for what one is entitled to demand as a right from the thieves who have robbed them and who are now enjoying the fruits of their labour. From the look of shame on their faces you might think that they were the criminals instead of being the victims.”
“No; definitely not. I don’t believe in pleading for something that one has the right to demand from the thieves who have taken it and who are now enjoying the benefits of their labor. By the way they look ashamed, you might think they were the criminals instead of the victims.”
“Well you must admit that most of them is very inferior men,” said Crass with a self-satisfied air. “There’s very few mechanics amongst em.”
“Well, you have to admit that most of them are pretty inferior men,” said Crass with a self-satisfied tone. “There are very few mechanics among them.”
“What about it if they are? What difference does that make?” replied Owen. “They’re human beings, and they have as much right to live as anyone else. What is called unskilled labour is just as necessary and useful as yours or mine. I am no more capable of doing the ‘unskilled’ labour that most of these men do than most of them would be capable of doing my work.”
“What if they are? What does that matter?” Owen replied. “They’re human beings and have every right to live just like anyone else. What people call unskilled labor is just as important and valuable as yours or mine. I’m no more able to do the ‘unskilled’ work that most of these men do than most of them would be able to handle my job.”
“Well, if they was skilled tradesmen, they might find it easier to get a job,” said Crass.
“Well, if they were skilled tradesmen, they might find it easier to get a job,” said Crass.
Owen laughed offensively.
Owen laughed inappropriately.
“Do you mean to say you think that if all these men could be transformed into skilled carpenters, plasterers, bricklayers, and painters, that it would be easier for all those other chaps whom we passed a little while ago to get work? Is it possible that you or any other sane man can believe anything so silly as that?”
"Are you really suggesting that if all these guys were turned into skilled carpenters, plasterers, bricklayers, and painters, it would make it easier for those other guys we just saw to find jobs? Can you or anyone else in their right mind actually believe something that ridiculous?"
Crass did not reply.
Crass didn't respond.
“If there is not enough work to employ all the mechanics whom we see standing idle about the streets, how would it help these labourers in the procession if they could all become skilled workmen?”
“If there isn't enough work to employ all the mechanics we see hanging around the streets, how would it benefit these laborers in the parade if they could all become skilled workers?”
Still Crass did not answer, and neither Slyme nor Sawkins came to his assistance.
Still, Crass didn’t answer, and neither Slyme nor Sawkins came to help him.
“If that could be done,” continued Owen, “it would simply make things worse for those who are already skilled mechanics. A greater number of skilled workers—keener competition for skilled workmen’s jobs—a larger number of mechanics out of employment, and consequently, improved opportunities for employers to reduce wages. That is probably the reason why the Liberal Party—which consists for the most part of exploiters of labour—procured the great Jim Scalds to tell us that improved technical education is the remedy for unemployment and poverty.”
“If that could be done,” Owen continued, “it would just make things worse for those who are already skilled mechanics. More skilled workers mean tougher competition for jobs, a larger number of mechanics out of work, and as a result, better chances for employers to cut wages. That’s likely why the Liberal Party—made up mostly of labor exploiters—got the great Jim Scalds to tell us that better technical education is the solution for unemployment and poverty.”
“I suppose you think Jim Scalds is a bloody fool, the same as everybody else what don’t see things YOUR way?” said Sawkins.
“I guess you think Jim Scalds is a complete idiot, just like everyone else who doesn’t see things YOUR way?” said Sawkins.
“I should think he was a fool if I thought he believed what he says. But I don’t think he believes it. He says it because he thinks the majority of the working classes are such fools that they will believe him. If he didn’t think that most of us are fools he wouldn’t tell us such a yarn as that.”
“I would consider him a fool if I believed he actually thinks what he says. But I don’t think he believes it. He says it because he thinks that most of the working class are such fools that they will buy into it. If he didn’t think that most of us are fools, he wouldn’t spin such a tale.”
“And I suppose you think as ’is opinion ain’t far wrong,” snarled Crass.
“And I guess you think his opinion isn't too far off,” snarled Crass.
“We shall be better able to judge of that after the next General Election,” replied Owen. “If the working classes again elect a majority of Liberal or Tory landlords and employers to rule over them, it will prove that Jim Scalds’ estimate of their intelligence is about right.”
“We’ll have a better idea after the next General Election,” Owen replied. “If the working class chooses a majority of Liberal or Tory landlords and employers to govern them again, it’ll show that Jim Scalds’ assessment of their intelligence is pretty accurate.”
“Well, anyhow,” persisted Slyme, “I don’t think it’s a right thing that they should be allowed to go marchin’ about like that—driving visitors out of the town.”
“Well, anyway,” Slyme continued, “I don’t think it’s right for them to be allowed to march around like that—scaring visitors away from the town.”
“What do you think they ought to do, then?” demanded Owen.
“What do you think they should do, then?” asked Owen.
“Let the b—rs go to the bloody workhouse!” shouted Crass.
“Let the b—rs go to the damn workhouse!” shouted Crass.
“But before they could be received there they would have to be absolutely homeless and destitute, and then the ratepayers would have to keep them. It costs about twelve shillings a week for each inmate, so it seems to me that it would be more sensible and economical for the community to employ them on some productive work.”
“But before they could be taken in there, they would have to be completely homeless and broke, and then the taxpayers would need to support them. It costs about twelve shillings a week for each person, so it seems to me that it would be more practical and cost-effective for the community to put them to work on something productive.”
They had by this time arrived at the yard. The steps and ladders were put away in their places and the dirty paint-pots and pails were placed in the paint-shop on the bench and on the floor. With what had previously been brought back there were a great many of these things, all needing to be cleaned out, so Bert at any rate stood in no danger of being out of employment for some time to come.
They had now gotten to the yard. The steps and ladders were put back in their spots, and the dirty paint pots and buckets were set in the paint shop on the bench and the floor. With what had been brought back before, there were a lot of these items, all needing to be cleaned out, so Bert wasn't at risk of being unemployed for quite a while.
When they were paid at the office, Owen on opening his envelope found it contained as usual, a time sheet for the next week, which meant that he was not “stood off” although he did not know what work there would be to do. Crass and Slyme were both to go to the “Cave” to fix the venetian blinds, and Sawkins also was to come to work as usual.
When they got their pay at the office, Owen opened his envelope and found, like always, a time sheet for the next week, which meant he wasn't "laid off," even though he had no idea what work would be available. Crass and Slyme were both headed to the “Cave” to fix the Venetian blinds, and Sawkins was also expected to come to work as usual.
Chapter 28
The Week before Christmas
During the next week Owen painted a sign on the outer wall of one of the workshops at the yard, and he also wrote the name of the firm on three of the handcarts.
During the next week, Owen painted a sign on the outside wall of one of the workshops in the yard, and he also wrote the name of the company on three of the handcarts.
These and other odd jobs kept him employed a few hours every day, so that he was not actually out of work.
These and other odd jobs kept him busy for a few hours each day, so he wasn't actually unemployed.
One afternoon—there being nothing to do—he went home at three o’clock, but almost as soon as he reached the house Bert White came with a coffin-plate which had to be written at once. The lad said he had been instructed to wait for it.
One afternoon—since there was nothing to do—he went home at three o'clock, but almost as soon as he got there, Bert White arrived with a coffin plate that needed to be written right away. The guy said he had been told to wait for it.
Nora gave the boy some tea and bread and butter to eat whilst Owen was doing the coffin-plate, and presently Frankie—who had been playing out in the street—made his appearance. The two boys were already known to each other, for Bert had been there several times before—on errands similar to the present one, or to take lessons on graining and letter-painting from Owen.
Nora gave the boy some tea and bread and butter to eat while Owen was working on the coffin plate, and soon Frankie—who had been playing outside—showed up. The two boys were already acquainted, as Bert had been there several times before—either for similar tasks or to take lessons in graining and letter painting from Owen.
“I’m going to have a party next Monday—after Christmas,” remarked Frankie. “Mother told me I might ask you if you’ll come?”
“I’m having a party next Monday—after Christmas,” Frankie said. “Mom said I could ask you if you’d come?”
“All right,” said Bert; “and I’ll bring my Pandoramer.”
“All right,” said Bert, “and I’ll bring my Pandoramer.”
“What is it? Is it alive?” asked Frankie with a puzzled look.
“What is it? Is it alive?” Frankie asked, looking confused.
“Alive! No, of course not,” replied Bert with a superior air. “It’s a show, like they have at the Hippodrome or the Circus.”
“Alive! No, of course not,” Bert replied with a condescending tone. “It’s a performance, like the ones they have at the Hippodrome or the Circus.”
“How big is it?”
“How large is it?”
“Not very big: it’s made out of a sugar-box. I made it myself. It’s not quite finished yet, but I shall get it done this week. There’s a band as well, you know. I do that part with this.”
“Not very big: it’s made out of a sugar box. I made it myself. It’s not completely finished yet, but I’ll get it done this week. There’s a band too, you know. I handle that part with this.”
“This” was a large mouth organ which he produced from the inner pocket of his coat.
“This” was a large harmonica that he pulled out from the inner pocket of his coat.
“Play something now.”
"Play something now."
Bert accordingly played, and Frankie sang at the top of his voice a selection of popular songs, including “The Old Bull and Bush”, “Has Anyone seen a German Band?”, “Waiting at the Church” and finally—possibly as a dirge for the individual whose coffin-plate Owen was writing—“Goodbye, Mignonette” and “I wouldn’t leave my little wooden hut for you”.
Bert played, and Frankie sang at the top of his lungs a mix of popular songs, including “The Old Bull and Bush,” “Has Anyone Seen a German Band?”, “Waiting at the Church,” and finally—possibly as a tribute to the person whose coffin plate Owen was writing—“Goodbye, Mignonette” and “I wouldn’t leave my little wooden hut for you.”
“You don’t know what’s in that,” said Frankie, referring to a large earthenware bread-pan which Nora had just asked Owen to help her to lift from the floor on to one of the chairs. The vessel in question was covered with a clean white cloth.
“You don’t know what’s in that,” Frankie said, pointing to a large earthenware bread pan that Nora had just asked Owen to help her lift from the floor to one of the chairs. The pan was covered with a clean white cloth.
“Christmas pudding,” replied Bert, promptly.
“Christmas pudding,” replied Bert, quickly.
“Guessed right first time!” cried Frankie. “We got the things out of the Christmas Club on Saturday. We’ve been paying in ever since last Christmas. We’re going to mix it now, and you can have a stir too if you like, for luck.”
“Got it right the first time!” shouted Frankie. “We took the stuff out of the Christmas Club on Saturday. We’ve been putting money in ever since last Christmas. We’re going to mix it now, and you can stir it too if you want, for good luck.”
Whilst they were stirring the pudding, Frankie several times requested the others to feel his muscle: he said he felt sure that he would soon be strong enough to go out to work, and he explained to Bert that the extraordinary strength he possessed was to be attributed to the fact that he lived almost exclusively on porridge and milk.
While they were stirring the pudding, Frankie repeatedly asked the others to feel his muscle. He said he was confident that he would soon be strong enough to go out to work, and he explained to Bert that his amazing strength came from the fact that he mostly lived on porridge and milk.
For the rest of the week, Owen continued to work down at the yard with Sawkins, Crass, and Slyme, painting some of the ladders, steps and other plant belonging to the firm. These things had to have two coats of paint and the name Rushton & Co. written on them. As soon as they had got some of them second-coated, Owen went on with the writing, leaving the painting for the others, so as to share the work as fairly as possible. Several times during the week one or other of them was taken away to do some other work; once Crass and Slyme had to go and wash off and whiten a ceiling somewhere, and several times Sawkins was sent out to assist the plumbers.
For the rest of the week, Owen kept working down at the yard with Sawkins, Crass, and Slyme, painting some of the ladders, steps, and other equipment belonging to the company. These items needed two coats of paint and the name Rushton & Co. written on them. Once they had finished a few of them with the second coat, Owen started doing the writing, leaving the painting to the others to share the workload as fairly as possible. Several times during the week, one of them was pulled away to do other tasks; once, Crass and Slyme had to go wash and whiten a ceiling somewhere, and several times Sawkins was sent out to help the plumbers.
Every day some of the men who had been “stood off” called at the yard to ask if any other “jobs” had “come in’. From these callers they heard all the news. Old Jack Linden had not succeeded in getting anything to do at the trade since he was discharged from Rushton’s, and it was reported that he was trying to earn a little money by hawking bloaters from house to house. As for Philpot, he said that he had been round to nearly all the firms in the town and none of them had any work to speak of.
Every day, some of the guys who had been let go stopped by the yard to see if any new jobs had come in. From these visitors, they got all the updates. Old Jack Linden hadn’t managed to find any work in the trade since he was let go from Rushton’s, and it was said that he was trying to make a little money by selling bloaters door to door. As for Philpot, he mentioned that he had been to almost all the companies in town, and none of them had any decent work available.
Newman—the man whom the reader will remember was sacked for taking too much pains with his work—had been arrested and sentenced to a month’s imprisonment because he had not been able to pay his poor rates, and the Board of Guardians were allowing his wife three shillings a week to maintain herself and the three children. Philpot had been to see them, and she told him that the landlord was threatening to turn them into the street; he would have seized their furniture and sold it if it had been worth the expense of the doing.
Newman—the guy who the reader will remember got fired for caring too much about his work—had been arrested and sentenced to a month in jail because he couldn't pay his property taxes. The Board of Guardians was giving his wife three shillings a week to take care of herself and their three kids. Philpot had visited them, and she told him that the landlord was threatening to kick them out onto the street; he would have taken their furniture and sold it if it had been worth the trouble.
“I feel ashamed of meself,” Philpot added in confidence to Owen, “when I think of all the money I chuck away on beer. If it wasn’t for that, I shouldn’t be in such a hole meself now, and I might be able to lend ’em a ’elpin’ ’and.”
"I feel ashamed of myself," Philpot confided to Owen, "when I think about all the money I waste on beer. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't be in such a bad spot right now, and I might be able to lend them a helping hand."
“It ain’t so much that I likes the beer, you know,” he continued; “it’s the company. When you ain’t got no ’ome, in a manner o’ speakin’, like me, the pub’s about the only place where you can get a little enjoyment. But you ain’t very welcome there unless you spends your money.”
“It’s not so much that I like the beer, you know,” he continued; “it’s the company. When you don’t really have a home, in a way, like me, the pub is about the only place where you can get a little enjoyment. But you aren’t very welcome there unless you spend your money.”
“Is the three shillings all they have to live on?”
“Is three shillings all they have to survive on?”
“I think she goes out charin’ when she can get it,” replied Philpot, “but I don’t see as she can do a great deal o’ that with three young “uns to look after, and from what I hear of it she’s only just got over a illness and ain’t fit to do much.”
“I think she goes out working when she can,” replied Philpot, “but I don’t see how she can do much of that with three young kids to take care of, and from what I hear, she just got over an illness and isn’t really fit to do much.”
“My God!” said Owen.
“Oh my God!” said Owen.
“I’ll tell you what,” said Philpot. “I’ve been thinking we might get up a bit of a subscription for ’em. There’s several chaps in work what knows Newman, and if they was each to give a trifle we could get enough to pay for a Christmas dinner, anyway. I’ve brought a sheet of foolscap with me, and I was goin’ to ask you to write out the heading for me.”
“I’ll tell you what,” said Philpot. “I’ve been thinking we should start a little fundraiser for them. There are several guys at work who know Newman, and if each of them could chip in a little, we could gather enough to cover a Christmas dinner, at least. I brought a piece of paper with me, and I was going to ask you to write the heading for me.”
As there was no pen available at the workshop, Philpot waited till four o’clock and then accompanied Owen home, where the heading of the list was written. Owen put his name down for a shilling and Philpot his for a similar amount.
As there was no pen available at the workshop, Philpot waited until four o’clock and then walked home with Owen, where they wrote the heading of the list. Owen added his name for a shilling, and Philpot did the same for a similar amount.
Philpot stayed to tea and accepted an invitation to spend Christmas Day with them, and to come to Frankie’s party on the Monday after.
Philpot stayed for tea and accepted an invitation to spend Christmas Day with them, and to come to Frankie’s party that following Monday.
The next morning Philpot brought the list to the yard and Crass and Slyme put their names down for a shilling each, and Sawkins for threepence, it being arranged that the money was to be paid on payday—Christmas Eve. In the meantime, Philpot was to see as many as he could of those who were in work, at other firms and get as many subscriptions as possible.
The next morning, Philpot took the list to the yard, and Crass and Slyme signed up for a shilling each, while Sawkins put down threepence. They agreed that the money would be collected on payday—Christmas Eve. In the meantime, Philpot was to talk to as many people as he could who were working at other companies and gather as many subscriptions as possible.
At pay-time on Christmas Eve Philpot turned up with the list and Owen and the others paid him the amounts they had put their names down for. From other men he had succeeded in obtaining nine and sixpence, mostly in sixpences and threepences. Some of this money he had already received, but for the most part he had made appointments with the subscribers to call at their homes that evening. It was decided that Owen should accompany him and also go with him to hand over the money to Mrs Newman.
At pay-time on Christmas Eve, Philpot showed up with the list, and Owen and the others paid him the amounts they had signed up for. He had managed to collect nine shillings and sixpence from other men, mostly in sixpences and threepences. He had already received some of this money, but most of it required him to meet the subscribers at their homes that evening. It was agreed that Owen would go with him and also help deliver the money to Mrs. Newman.
It took them nearly three hours to get in all the money, for the places they had to go to were in different localities, and in one or two cases they had to wait because their man had not yet come home, and sometimes it was not possible to get away without wasting a little time in talk. In three instances those who had put their names down for threepence increased the amount to sixpence and one who had promised sixpence gave a shilling. There were two items of threepence each which they did not get at all, the individuals who had put their names down having gone upon the drunk. Another cause of delay was that they met or called on several other men who had not yet been asked for a subscription, and there were several others—including some members of the Painters Society whom Owen had spoken to during the week—who had promised him to give a subscription. In the end they succeeded in increasing the total amount to nineteen and ninepence, and they then put three-halfpence each to make it up to a pound.
It took them nearly three hours to collect all the money because the places they had to go were in different areas. In a couple of cases, they had to wait because the person they were looking for hadn’t come home yet, and sometimes they couldn’t leave without spending a bit of time chatting. In three instances, those who had pledged threepence increased their contributions to sixpence, and one person who had promised sixpence ended up giving a shilling. There were two items of threepence each that they didn't collect at all because the people who had signed up for them had gone drinking. Another reason for the delay was that they met or visited several other men who hadn’t been asked for a contribution yet. There were also some others—including a few members of the Painters Society whom Owen had talked to during the week—who had promised to donate. In the end, they managed to raise a total of nineteen and ninepence, and then they each added three-halfpence to round it up to a pound.
The Newmans lived in a small house the rent of which was six shillings per week and taxes. To reach the house one had to go down a dark and narrow passage between two shops, the house being in a kind of well, surrounded by the high walls of the back parts of larger buildings—chiefly business premises and offices. The air did not circulate very freely in this place, and the rays of the sun never reached it. In the summer the atmosphere was close and foul with the various odours which came from the back-yards of the adjoining buildings, and in the winter it was dark and damp and gloomy, a culture-ground for bacteria and microbes. The majority of those who profess to be desirous of preventing and curing the disease called consumption must be either hypocrites or fools, for they ridicule the suggestion that it is necessary first to cure and prevent the poverty that compels badly clothed and half-starved human beings to sleep in such dens as this.
The Newmans lived in a small house that cost six shillings a week in rent plus taxes. To get to the house, you had to walk down a dark and narrow passage between two shops, as the house was tucked away in a kind of well, surrounded by the tall walls of larger buildings—mostly businesses and offices. The air didn’t flow very well in this place, and sunlight never reached it. In the summer, the atmosphere was stuffy and unpleasant due to the various odors from the backyards of the neighboring buildings, and in the winter, it was dark, damp, and gloomy—a breeding ground for bacteria and germs. Most people who claim to want to prevent and cure tuberculosis must be either hypocrites or fools, as they mock the idea that it’s essential to first address and prevent the poverty that forces poorly clothed and underfed people to sleep in places like this.
The front door opened into the living-room or, rather, kitchen, which was dimly lighted by a small paraffin lamp on the table, where were also some tea-cups and saucers, each of a different pattern, and the remains of a loaf of bread. The wallpaper was old and discoloured; a few almanacs and unframed prints were fixed to the walls, and on the mantelshelf were some cracked and worthless vases and ornaments. At one time they had possessed a clock and an overmantel and some framed pictures, but they had all been sold to obtain money to buy food. Nearly everything of any value had been parted with for the same reason—the furniture, the pictures, the bedclothes, the carpet and the oilcloth, piece by piece, nearly everything that had once constituted the home—had been either pawned or sold to buy food or to pay rent during the times when Newman was out of work—periods that had recurred during the last few years with constantly increasing frequency and duration. Now there was nothing left but these few old broken chairs and the deal table which no one would buy; and upstairs, the wretched bedsteads and mattresses whereon they slept at night, covering themselves with worn-out remnants of blankets and the clothes they wore during the day.
The front door opened into the living room, or rather, the kitchen, which was dimly lit by a small paraffin lamp on the table, where there were also some tea cups and saucers, each with a different pattern, along with the leftover loaf of bread. The wallpaper was old and faded; a few calendars and unframed prints were hung on the walls, and on the mantelpiece were some cracked and worthless vases and knickknacks. At one time, they had a clock, an overmantel, and some framed pictures, but those had all been sold to buy food. Almost everything of value had been given up for the same reason—the furniture, the pictures, the bed linens, the carpet, and the oilcloth, piece by piece, nearly everything that had once made up the home—had been either pawned or sold to buy food or pay rent during the times when Newman was unemployed—periods that had become more frequent and longer over the past few years. Now, there was nothing left but a few old broken chairs and the table that no one wanted to buy; and upstairs, the miserable bed frames and mattresses where they slept at night, covering themselves with worn-out scraps of blankets and the clothes they wore during the day.
In answer to Philpot’s knock, the door was opened by a little girl about seven years old, who at once recognized Philpot, and called out his name to her mother, and the latter came also to the door, closely followed by two other children, a little, fragile-looking girl about three, and a boy about five years of age, who held on to her skirt and peered curiously at the visitors. Mrs Newman was about thirty, and her appearance confirmed the statement of Philpot that she had only just recovered from an illness; she was very white and thin and dejected-looking. When Philpot explained the object of their visit and handed her the money, the poor woman burst into tears, and the two smaller children—thinking that this piece of paper betokened some fresh calamity—began to cry also. They remembered that all their troubles had been preceded by the visits of men who brought pieces of paper, and it was rather difficult to reassure them.
In response to Philpot’s knock, a little girl around seven years old opened the door. She immediately recognized Philpot and called out his name to her mom, who came to the door as well, followed closely by two other kids: a delicate-looking girl about three and a five-year-old boy who clung to her skirt and peeked curiously at the visitors. Mrs. Newman was about thirty, and her appearance confirmed Philpot's claim that she had only just recovered from an illness; she looked very pale, thin, and downcast. When Philpot explained why they were there and handed her the money, the poor woman burst into tears, which made the two smaller children—thinking this piece of paper signified yet another disaster—start crying too. They remembered that all their troubles had started with visits from men who brought pieces of paper, making it pretty difficult to comfort them.
That evening, after Frankie was asleep, Owen and Nora went out to do their Christmas marketing. They had not much money to spend, for Owen had brought home only seventeen shillings. He had worked thirty-three hours—that came to nineteen and threepence—one shilling and threehalfpence had gone on the subscription list, and he had given the rest of the coppers to a ragged wreck of a man who was singing a hymn in the street. The other shilling had been deducted from his wages in repayment of a “sub” he had had during the week.
That evening, after Frankie fell asleep, Owen and Nora went out to do their Christmas shopping. They didn't have much money to spend, since Owen had brought home only seventeen shillings. He had worked thirty-three hours, which totaled nineteen and threepence—one shilling and threehalfpence went to the subscription list, and he gave the rest of the coins to a ragged man singing a hymn in the street. The other shilling was taken from his wages to pay back a "sub" he had borrowed during the week.
There was a great deal to be done with this seventeen shillings. First of all there was the rent—seven shillings—that left ten. Then there was the week’s bread bill—one and threepence. They had a pint of milk every day, chiefly for the boy’s sake—that came to one and two. Then there was one and eight for a hundredweight of coal that had been bought on credit. Fortunately, there were no groceries to buy, for the things they had obtained with their Christmas Club money would be more than sufficient for the ensuing week.
There was a lot to cover with these seventeen shillings. First, there was the rent—seven shillings—which left ten. Then came the week's bread bill—one and threepence. They got a pint of milk every day, mostly for the boy—that cost one and two. Then there was one and eight for a hundredweight of coal that they had bought on credit. Fortunately, there were no groceries to buy, since the items they had gotten with their Christmas Club money would be more than enough for the upcoming week.
Frankie’s stockings were all broken and beyond mending, so it was positively necessary to buy him another pair for fivepence three-farthings. These stockings were not much good—a pair at double the price would have been much cheaper, for they would have lasted three or four times longer; but they could not afford to buy the dearer kind. It was just the same with the coal: if they had been able to afford it, they could have bought a ton of the same class of coal for twenty-six shillings, but buying it as they did, by the hundredweight, they had to pay at the rate of thirty-three shillings and fourpence a ton. It was just the same with nearly everything else. This is how the working classes are robbed. Although their incomes are the lowest, they are compelled to buy the most expensive articles—that is, the lowest-priced articles. Everybody knows that good clothes, boots or furniture are really the cheapest in the end, although they cost more money at first; but the working classes can seldom or never afford to buy good things; they have to buy cheap rubbish which is dear at any price.
Frankie's stockings were all torn and beyond repair, so it was absolutely necessary to buy him another pair for five pence three farthings. These stockings weren't very good—a pair at double the price would have been much cheaper because they would have lasted three or four times longer; but they couldn’t afford to buy the more expensive kind. It was the same with coal: if they had been able to afford it, they could have bought a ton of the same type of coal for twenty-six shillings, but buying it as they did, by the hundredweight, they had to pay thirty-three shillings and four pence a ton. It was the same with nearly everything else. This is how the working class gets taken advantage of. Even though their incomes are the lowest, they are forced to buy the most expensive items—that is, the cheapest items. Everyone knows that high-quality clothes, boots, or furniture are actually the cheapest in the long run, even though they cost more upfront; but the working class can rarely or never afford to buy quality items; they have to buy cheap junk which ends up costing more.
Six weeks previously Owen bought a pair of second-hand boots for three shillings and they were now literally falling to pieces. Nora’s shoes were in much the same condition, but, as she said, it did not matter so much about hers because there was no need for her to go out if the weather were not fine.
Six weeks ago, Owen bought a pair of used boots for three shillings, and they were now literally falling apart. Nora's shoes were in pretty much the same state, but, as she pointed out, it wasn't as big of a deal for her since she didn't need to go out unless the weather was nice.
In addition to the articles already mentioned, they had to spend fourpence for half a gallon of paraffin oil, and to put sixpence into the slot of the gas-stove. This reduced the money to five and sevenpence farthing, and of this it was necessary to spend a shilling on potatoes and other vegetables.
In addition to the articles already mentioned, they had to spend four pence for half a gallon of paraffin oil, and put six pence in the slot of the gas stove. This brought the money down to five shillings and seven pence farthing, and of this, it was necessary to spend a shilling on potatoes and other vegetables.
They both needed some new underclothing, for what they had was so old and worn that it was quite useless for the purpose it was supposed to serve; but there was no use thinking of these things, for they had now only four shillings and sevenpence farthing left, and all that would be needed for toys. They had to buy something special for Frankie for Christmas, and it would also be necessary to buy something for each of the children who were coming to the party on the following Monday. Fortunately, there was no meat to buy, for Nora had been paying into the Christmas Club at the butcher’s as well as at the grocer’s. So this necessary was already paid for.
They both needed some new underwear because what they had was so old and worn that it was practically useless; but it was pointless to think about it since they only had four shillings and sevenpence farthing left, and all of that would have to go toward toys. They needed to buy something special for Frankie for Christmas, and it was also necessary to get something for each of the kids who were coming to the party the following Monday. Luckily, there was no meat to buy since Nora had been putting money into the Christmas Club at the butcher's as well as at the grocer's. So that expense was already covered.
They stopped to look at the display of toys at Sweater’s Emporium. For several days past Frankie had been talking of the wonders contained in these windows, so they wished if possible to buy him something here. They recognized many of the things from the description the boy had given of them, but nearly everything was so dear that for a long time they looked in vain for something it would be possible to buy.
They paused to check out the toy display at Sweater’s Emporium. For the past few days, Frankie had been raving about the amazing things in these windows, so they hoped to buy him something special here. They recognized many of the items from the way the boy had described them, but almost everything was so expensive that they spent a long time searching without finding anything they could afford.
“That’s the engine he talks so much about,” said Nora, indicating a model railway locomotive; “that one marked five shillings.”
“That’s the engine he talks so much about,” said Nora, pointing to a model railway locomotive; “that one priced at five shillings.”
“It might just as well be marked five pounds as far as we’re concerned,” replied Owen.
“It might as well be marked five pounds as far as we're concerned,” replied Owen.
As they were speaking, one of the salesmen appeared at the back of the window and, reaching forward, removed the engine. It was probably the last one of the kind and had evidently just been sold. Owen and Nora experienced a certain amount of consolation in knowing that even if they had the money they would not have been able to buy it.
As they were talking, a salesman showed up at the back of the window and, reaching forward, took out the engine. It was likely the last one of its kind and had obviously just been sold. Owen and Nora felt somewhat reassured knowing that even if they had the money, they still wouldn't have been able to buy it.
After lengthy consideration, they decided on a clockwork engine at a shilling, but the other toys they resolved to buy at a cheaper shop. Nora went into the Emporium to get the toy and whilst Owen was waiting for her Mr and Mrs Rushton came out. They did not appear to see Owen, who observed that the shape of one of several parcels they carried suggested that it contained the engine that had been taken from the window a little while before.
After thinking about it for a while, they settled on a clockwork engine for a shilling, but they chose to buy the other toys from a less expensive store. Nora went into the Emporium to get the toy, and while Owen waited for her, Mr. and Mrs. Rushton came out. They didn’t seem to notice Owen, who noticed that the shape of one of the several parcels they were carrying looked like it contained the engine that had been taken from the window a little earlier.
When Nora returned with her purchase, they went in search of a cheaper place and after a time they found what they wanted. For sixpence they bought a cardboard box that had come all the way from Japan and contained a whole family of dolls—father, mother and four children of different sizes. A box of paints, threepence: a sixpenny tea service, a threepenny drawing slate, and a rag doll, sixpence.
When Nora came back with her purchase, they looked for a cheaper option and eventually found what they were looking for. For six pence, they bought a cardboard box that had come all the way from Japan and contained a whole family of dolls—father, mother, and four children of different sizes. A box of paints was three pence; a six-penny tea set, a three-penny drawing slate, and a rag doll for six pence.
On their way home they called at a greengrocer’s where Owen had ordered and paid for a small Christmas tree a few weeks before; and as they were turning the corner of the street where they lived they met Crass, half-drunk, with a fine fat goose slung over his shoulder by its neck. He greeted Owen jovially and held up the bird for their inspection.
On their way home, they stopped at a greengrocer's where Owen had ordered and paid for a small Christmas tree a few weeks earlier; and as they turned the corner onto their street, they saw Crass, half-drunk, with a nice fat goose hanging over his shoulder by its neck. He greeted Owen cheerfully and held up the bird for them to see.
“Not a bad tanner’s-worth, eh?” he hiccoughed. “This makes two we’ve got. I won this and a box of cigars—fifty—for a tanner, and the other one I got out of the Club at our Church Mission ’all: threepence a week for twenty-eight weeks; that makes seven bob. But,” he added, confidentially, “you couldn’t buy ’em for that price in a shop, you know. They costs the committee a good bit more nor that—wholesale; but we’ve got some rich gents on our committee and they makes up the difference,” and with a nod and a cunning leer he lurched off.
“Not a bad find for a penny, huh?” he hiccupped. “This makes two we’ve got. I won this and a box of cigars—fifty—for a penny, and the other one I got out of the Club at our Church Mission hall: threepence a week for twenty-eight weeks; that totals seven shillings. But,” he added, confidentially, “you couldn’t buy them for that price in a store, you know. They cost the committee quite a bit more than that—wholesale; but we’ve got some wealthy guys on our committee and they cover the extra costs,” and with a nod and a sly grin, he stumbled off.
Frankie was sleeping soundly when they reached home, and so was the kitten, which was curled up on the quilt on the foot of the bed. After they had had some supper, although it was after eleven o’clock, Owen fixed the tree in a large flower-pot that had served a similar purpose before, and Nora brought out from the place where it had been stored away since last Christmas a cardboard box containing a lot of glittering tinsel ornaments—globes of silvered or gilded or painted glass, birds, butterflies and stars. Some of these things had done duty three Christmases ago and although they were in some instances slightly tarnished most of them were as good as new. In addition to these and the toys they had bought that evening they had a box of bon-bons and a box of small coloured wax candles, both of which had formed part of the things they got from the grocer’s with the Christmas Club money; and there were also a lot of little coloured paper bags of sweets, and a number of sugar and chocolate toys and animals which had been bought two or three at a time for several weeks past and put away for this occasion. There was something suitable for each child that was coming, with the exception of Bert White; they had intended to include a sixpenny pocket knife for him in their purchases that evening, but as they had not been able to afford this Owen decided to give him an old set of steel graining combs which he knew the lad had often longed to possess. The tin case containing these tools was accordingly wrapped in some red tissue paper and hung on the tree with the other things.
Frankie was sleeping soundly when they got home, and so was the kitten, curled up on the quilt at the foot of the bed. After they had dinner, even though it was past eleven o’clock, Owen set up the tree in a large flower pot that had been used for the same purpose before. Nora brought out a cardboard box filled with shiny tinsel ornaments that had been stored away since last Christmas—glittering globes of silver, gold, or painted glass, along with birds, butterflies, and stars. Some of these decorations were from three Christmases ago, and while a few were a bit tarnished, most of them looked brand new. On top of these and the toys they had bought that night, they also had a box of bon-bons and a box of small colored wax candles, both of which had been purchased with their Christmas Club money at the grocer’s. There were also several little colored paper bags of sweets and a number of sugar and chocolate toys and animals, collected a few at a time over the past weeks for this occasion. There was something special for each child who was coming, except for Bert White; they had planned to include a sixpenny pocket knife for him in their shopping that night, but since they couldn’t afford it, Owen decided to give him an old set of steel graining combs that he knew the boy had always wanted. The tin case containing these tools was wrapped in red tissue paper and hung on the tree with the other decorations.
They moved about as quietly as possible so as not to disturb those who were sleeping in the rooms beneath, because long before they were finished the people in the other parts of the house had all retired to rest, and silence had fallen on the deserted streets outside. As they were putting the final touches to their work the profound stillness of the night was suddenly broken by the voices of a band of carol-singers.
They moved around as quietly as they could to avoid waking up those sleeping in the rooms below. Long before they finished, everyone else in the house had gone to bed, and silence settled over the empty streets outside. Just as they were adding the final touches to their work, the deep stillness of the night was suddenly interrupted by the voices of a group of carolers.
The sound overwhelmed them with memories of other and happier times, and Nora stretched out her hands impulsively to Owen, who drew her close to his side.
The sound flooded them with memories of better and happier times, and Nora instinctively reached out to Owen, who pulled her close to his side.
They had been married just over eight years, and although during all that time they had never been really free from anxiety for the future, yet on no previous Christmas had they been quite so poor as now. During the last few years periods of unemployment had gradually become more frequent and protracted, and the attempt he had made in the early part of the year to get work elsewhere had only resulted in plunging them into even greater poverty than before. But all the same there was much to be thankful for: poor though they were, they were far better off than many thousands of others: they still had food and shelter, and they had each other and the boy.
They had been married for just over eight years, and although they had always felt some anxiety about the future, never before had they been this poor at Christmas. In recent years, periods of unemployment had become more frequent and lasted longer, and his attempt earlier this year to find work elsewhere had only left them in even worse financial trouble. Despite that, there was still much to be grateful for: poor as they were, they were better off than thousands of others; they still had food and a place to live, and they had each other and their son.
Before they went to bed Owen carried the tree into Frankie’s bedroom and placed it so that he would be able to see it in all its glittering glory as soon as he awoke on Christmas morning.
Before they went to bed, Owen brought the tree into Frankie’s bedroom and set it up so Frankie could see it in all its sparkling glory as soon as he woke up on Christmas morning.
Chapter 29
The Pandorama
Although the party was not supposed to begin till six o’clock, Bert turned up at half past four, bringing the “Pandoramer” with him.
Although the party wasn't supposed to start until six o'clock, Bert showed up at four thirty, bringing the “Pandoramer” with him.
At about half past five the other guests began to arrive. Elsie and Charley Linden came first, the girl in a pretty blue frock trimmed with white lace, and Charley resplendent in a new suit, which, like his sister’s dress, had been made out of somebody’s cast-off clothes that had been given to their mother by a visiting lady. It had taken Mrs Linden many hours of hard work to contrive these garments; in fact, more time than the things were worth, for although they looked all right—especially Elsie’s—the stuff was so old that it would not wear very long: but this was the only way in which she could get clothes for the children at all: she certainly could not afford to buy them any. So she spent hours and hours making things that she knew would fall to pieces almost as soon as they were made.
At around 5:30, the other guests started to arrive. Elsie and Charley Linden were the first ones there, with Elsie wearing a cute blue dress trimmed with white lace, and Charley looking sharp in a new suit that, like his sister’s dress, was made from someone else's discarded clothes that a visiting lady had given to their mom. It took Mrs. Linden many hours of hard work to put these outfits together; in fact, she spent more time than they were worth because, while they looked fine—especially Elsie’s—the fabric was so old that it wouldn’t last long. But this was the only way she could get clothes for the kids at all; there was no way she could afford to buy them any. So she dedicated countless hours making clothes that she knew would fall apart almost right after she finished them.
After these came Nellie, Rosie and Tommy Newman. These presented a much less prosperous appearance than the other two. Their mother was not so skilful at contriving new clothes out of old. Nellie was wearing a grown-up woman’s blouse, and by way of ulster she had on an old-fashioned jacket of thick cloth with large pearl buttons. This was also a grown-up woman’s garment: it was shaped to fit the figure of a tall woman with wide shoulders and a small waist; consequently, it did not fit Nellie to perfection. The waist reached below the poor child’s hips.
After them came Nellie, Rosie, and Tommy Newman. They looked a lot less well-off than the other two. Their mom wasn’t as good at making new clothes from old ones. Nellie was wearing a grown-up woman’s blouse, and for a coat, she had on an old-fashioned jacket made of thick cloth with big pearl buttons. This was also a grown-up woman’s piece; it was designed to fit a tall woman with broad shoulders and a small waist, so it didn’t really fit Nellie well. The waist went down below the poor girl’s hips.
Tommy was arrayed in the patched remains of what had once been a good suit of clothes. They had been purchased at a second-hand shop last summer and had been his “best” for several months, but they were now much too small for him.
Tommy was dressed in the tattered remnants of what used to be a decent suit. He had bought them at a thrift store last summer, and they had been his "best" outfit for a few months, but now they were way too small for him.
Little Rosie—who was only just over three years old—was better off than either of the other two, for she had a red cloth dress that fitted her perfectly: indeed, as the district visitor who gave it to her mother had remarked, it looked as if it had been made for her.
Little Rosie—who was just over three years old—was better off than either of the other two, because she had a red cloth dress that fit her perfectly: in fact, as the district visitor who gave it to her mother had commented, it looked like it was made just for her.
“It’s not much to look at,” observed Nellie, referring to her big jacket, “but all the same we was very glad of it when the rain came on.”
“It doesn’t look like much,” Nellie remarked, pointing to her oversized jacket, “but we were really grateful for it when the rain started.”
The coat was so big that by withdrawing her arms from the sleeves and using it as a cloak or shawl she had managed to make it do for all three of them.
The coat was so large that by pulling her arms out of the sleeves and using it like a cloak or shawl, she had managed to make it work for all three of them.
Tommy’s boots were so broken that the wet had got in and saturated his stockings, so Nora made him take them all off and wear some old ones of Frankie’s whilst his own were drying at the fire.
Tommy’s boots were so worn out that they let in water and soaked his socks, so Nora made him take them off and wear some old ones of Frankie’s while his were drying by the fire.
Philpot, with two large paper bags full of oranges and nuts, arrived just as they were sitting down to tea—or rather cocoa—for with the exception of Bert all the children expressed a preference for the latter beverage. Bert would have liked to have cocoa also, but hearing that the grown-ups were going to have tea, he thought it would be more manly to do the same. This question of having tea or cocoa for tea became a cause of much uproarious merriment on the part of the children, who asked each other repeatedly which they liked best, “tea tea?” or “cocoa tea?” They thought it so funny that they said it over and over again, screaming with laughter all the while, until Tommy got a piece of cake stuck in his throat and became nearly black in the face, and then Philpot had to turn him upside down and punch him in the back to save him from choking to death. This rather sobered the others, but for some time afterwards whenever they looked at each other they began to laugh afresh because they thought it was such a good joke.
Philpot arrived with two big paper bags full of oranges and nuts just as they were sitting down for tea—or rather cocoa—since except for Bert, all the kids preferred the latter drink. Bert would have liked cocoa too, but when he heard the adults were having tea, he thought it would be more grown-up to join them. This debate over having tea or cocoa for tea turned into a source of endless laughter for the kids, who kept asking one another which they liked better, “tea tea?” or “cocoa tea?” They found it so hilarious that they repeated it over and over, laughing so hard that when Tommy got a piece of cake stuck in his throat and nearly turned blue, Philpot had to flip him upside down and thump his back to prevent him from choking. This did make the others a bit serious, but for a while afterward, every time they looked at each other, they burst into laughter again, thinking it was such a funny story.
When they had filled themselves up with the “cocoa-tea” and cakes and bread and jam, Elsie Linden and Nellie Newman helped to clear away the cups and saucers, and then Owen lit the candles on the Christmas tree and distributed the toys to the children, and a little while afterwards Philpot—who had got a funny-looking mask out of one of the bon-bons—started a fine game pretending to be a dreadful wild animal which he called a Pandroculus, and crawling about on all fours, rolled his goggle eyes and growled out he must have a little boy or girl to eat for his supper.
After they had filled up on the “cocoa-tea,” cakes, bread, and jam, Elsie Linden and Nellie Newman helped clear away the cups and saucers. Then Owen lit the candles on the Christmas tree and handed out the toys to the kids. A little while later, Philpot—who had gotten a funny-looking mask from one of the bon-bons—started a hilarious game pretending to be a scary wild animal he called a Pandroculus. Crawling around on all fours, he rolled his wide eyes and growled that he needed a little boy or girl to eat for his supper.
He looked so terrible that although they knew it was only a joke they were almost afraid of him, and ran away laughing and screaming to shelter themselves behind Nora or Owen; but all the same, whenever Philpot left off playing, they entreated him to “be it again”, and so he had to keep on being a Pandroculus, until exhaustion compelled him to return to his natural form.
He looked so scary that even though they knew it was just a joke, they were almost afraid of him and ran away laughing and screaming to hide behind Nora or Owen. Still, every time Philpot stopped playing, they begged him to "do it again," so he had to keep being a Pandroculus until he got too tired and had to go back to his normal self.
After this they all sat round the table and had a game of cards; “Snap”, they called it, but nobody paid much attention to the rules of the game: everyone seemed to think that the principal thing to do was to kick up as much row as possible. After a while Philpot suggested a change to “Beggar my neighbour”, and won quite a lot of cards before they found out that he had hidden all the jacks in the pocket of his coat, and then they mobbed him for a cheat. He might have been seriously injured if it had not been for Bert, who created a diversion by standing on a chair and announcing that he was about to introduce to their notice “Bert White’s World-famed Pandorama” as exhibited before all the nobility and crowned heads of Europe, England, Ireland and Scotland, including North America and Wales.
After that, they all gathered around the table and played a game of cards; they called it “Snap,” but nobody really paid attention to the rules. Everyone seemed to think the main goal was to make as much noise as possible. After a while, Philpot suggested switching to “Beggar My Neighbour” and ended up winning a bunch of cards before they discovered he had hidden all the jacks in his coat pocket, and then they rushed him for cheating. He might have been seriously hurt if it hadn't been for Bert, who created a distraction by standing on a chair and announcing that he was about to present “Bert White’s World-famed Pandorama,” which had been shown to all the nobility and crowned heads of Europe, England, Ireland, Scotland, North America, and Wales.
Loud cheers greeted the conclusion of Bert’s speech. The box was placed on the table, which was then moved to the end of the room, and the chairs were ranged in two rows in front.
Loud cheers welcomed the end of Bert's speech. The box was set on the table, which was then pushed to the back of the room, and the chairs were arranged in two rows in front.
The “Pandorama” consisted of a stage-front made of painted cardboard and fixed on the front of a wooden box about three feet long by two feet six inches high, and about one foot deep from back to front. The “Show” was a lot of pictures cut out of illustrated weekly papers and pasted together, end to end, so as to form a long strip or ribbon. Bert had coloured all the pictures with water-colours.
The “Pandorama” was made up of a painted cardboard stage front attached to the front of a wooden box that was about three feet long, two and a half feet high, and one foot deep. The “Show” featured a series of images cut from illustrated weekly magazines and glued together to create a long strip or ribbon. Bert had colored all the pictures with watercolors.
Just behind the wings of the stage-front at each end of the box—was an upright roller, and the long strip of pictures was rolled up on this. The upper ends of the rollers came through the top of the box and had handles attached to them. When these handles were turned the pictures passed across the stage, unrolling from one roller and rolling on to the other, and were illuminated by the light of three candles placed behind.
Just behind the wings of the stage at each end of the box was an upright roller, and the long strip of pictures was rolled up on this. The top ends of the rollers came through the top of the box and had handles attached to them. When these handles were turned, the pictures moved across the stage, unrolling from one roller and rolling onto the other, illuminated by the light of three candles placed behind.
The idea of constructing this machine had been suggested to Bert by a panorama entertainment he had been to see some time before.
The idea of building this machine was suggested to Bert by a panorama show he had attended some time ago.
“The Style of the decorations,” he remarked, alluding to the painted stage-front, “is Moorish.”
“The style of the decorations,” he said, referring to the painted stage front, “is Moorish.”
He lit the candles at the back of the stage and, having borrowed a tea-tray from Nora, desired the audience to take their seats. When they had all done so, he requested Owen to put out the lamp and the candles on the tree, and then he made another speech, imitating the manner of the lecturer at the panorama entertainment before mentioned.
He lit the candles at the back of the stage and, having borrowed a tea tray from Nora, asked the audience to take their seats. Once everyone was seated, he asked Owen to turn off the lamp and the candles on the tree, and then he gave another speech, mimicking the style of the speaker at the previously mentioned panorama show.
“Ladies and Gentlemen: with your kind permission I am about to hinterduce to your notice some pitchers of events in different parts of the world. As each pitcher appears on the stage I will give a short explanation of the subject, and afterwards the band will play a suitable collection of appropriated music, consisting of hymns and all the latest and most popular songs of the day, and the audience is kindly requested to join in the chorus.
“Ladies and Gentlemen: with your permission, I’m about to introduce some images of events happening in different parts of the world. As each image appears on stage, I’ll provide a brief explanation of the subject, and afterward, the band will play a fitting selection of music, including hymns and all the latest and most popular songs of the day. We kindly ask the audience to join in the chorus.”
“Our first scene,” continued Bert as he turned the handles and brought the picture into view, “represents the docks at Southampton; the magnificent steamer which you see lying alongside the shore is the ship which is waiting to take us to foreign parts. As we have already paid our fare, we will now go on board and set sail.”
“Our first scene,” Bert continued as he turned the handles to reveal the picture, “shows the docks at Southampton; the magnificent steamer you see docked at the shore is the ship that's waiting to take us to far-off places. Since we've already paid for our tickets, let’s go on board and get ready to set sail.”
As an accompaniment to this picture Bert played the tune of “Goodbye, Dolly, I must leave you”, and by the time the audience had finished singing the chorus he had rolled on another scene, which depicted a dreadful storm at sea, with a large ship evidently on the point of foundering. The waves were running mountains high and the inky clouds were riven by forked lightning. To increase the terrifying effect, Bert rattled the tea tray and played “The Bay of Biscay”, and the children sung the chorus whilst he rolled the next picture into view. This scene showed the streets of a large city; mounted police with drawn swords were dispersing a crowd: several men had been ridden down and were being trampled under the hoofs of the horses, and a number of others were bleeding profusely from wounds on the head and face.
As Bert played the tune of “Goodbye, Dolly, I must leave you” to go along with the picture, the audience finished singing the chorus just as he rolled on the next scene, which showed a terrible storm at sea, with a large ship clearly about to sink. The waves were towering high, and dark clouds were split by lightning strikes. To heighten the scary atmosphere, Bert rattled the tea tray and played “The Bay of Biscay,” while the children sang the chorus as he brought the next picture into view. This scene displayed the streets of a big city; mounted police with drawn swords were breaking up a crowd: several men had been run over and were being trampled by the horses, and a number of others were bleeding heavily from injuries to their heads and faces.
“After a rather stormy passage we arrives safely at the beautiful city of Berlin, in Germany, just in time to see a procession of unemployed workmen being charged by the military police. This picture is hintitled ‘Tariff Reform means Work for All’.”
“After a pretty rough journey, we arrived safely in the beautiful city of Berlin, Germany, just in time to see a procession of unemployed workers being charged by the military police. This scene is captioned ‘Tariff Reform means Work for All.’”
As an appropriate musical selection Bert played the tune of a well-known song, and the children sang the words:
As a fitting music choice, Bert played a popular song, and the kids sang the lyrics:
“To be there! to be there!
Oh, I knew what it was to be there!
And when they tore me clothes,
Blacked me eyes and broke me nose,
Then I knew what it was to be there!”
“To be there! to be there!
Oh, I knew what it meant to be there!
And when they ripped my clothes,
Punched me in the face and broke my nose,
Then I understood what it meant to be there!”
During the singing Bert turned the handles backwards and again brought on the picture of the storm at sea.
During the song, Bert turned the handles backward and once again displayed the image of the storm at sea.
“As we don’t want to get knocked on the ’ed, we clears out of Berlin as soon as we can—whiles we’re safe—and once more embarks on our gallint ship, and after a few more turns of the ’andle we finds ourselves back once more in Merry Hingland, where we see the inside of a blacksmith’s shop with a lot of half-starved women making iron chains. They work seventy hours a week for seven shillings. Our next scene is hintitled ‘The Hook and Eye Carders’. ’Ere we see the inside of a room in Slumtown, with a mother and three children and the old grandmother sewin’ hooks and eyes on cards to be sold in drapers’ shops. It ses underneath the pitcher that 384 hooks and 384 eyes has to be joined together and sewed on cards for one penny.”
“As we don’t want to get hit on the head, we clear out of Berlin as soon as we can—while we’re safe—and once again board our gallant ship, and after a few more twists of the handle we find ourselves back in Merry England, where we see the inside of a blacksmith’s shop with a lot of half-starved women making iron chains. They work seventy hours a week for seven shillings. Our next scene is titled ‘The Hook and Eye Carders’. Here we see the inside of a room in Slumtown, with a mother and three children and the old grandmother sewing hooks and eyes onto cards to be sold in drapers’ shops. It says underneath the picture that 384 hooks and 384 eyes have to be joined together and sewn onto cards for one penny.”
While this picture was being rolled away the band played and the children sang with great enthusiasm:
While this picture was being rolled away, the band played and the kids sang with great enthusiasm:
“Rule, Brittania, Brittania rules the waves!
Britons, never, never, never shall be slaves!”
“Rule, Britannia, Britannia rules the seas!
Britons will never, never, never be slaves!”
“Our next picture is called ‘An Englishman’s Home’. ’Ere we see the inside of another room in Slumtown, with the father and mother and four children sitting down to dinner—bread and drippin’ and tea. It ses underneath the pitcher that there’s Thirteen millions of people in England always on the verge of starvation. These people that you see in the pitcher might be able to get a better dinner than this if it wasn’t that most of the money wot the bloke earns ’as to pay the rent. Again we turns the ’andle and presently we comes to another very beautiful scene—‘Early Morning in Trafalgar Square’. ’Ere we see a lot of Englishmen who have been sleepin’ out all night because they ain’t got no ’omes to go to.”
“Our next picture is called ‘An Englishman’s Home’. Here we see the inside of another room in Slumtown, with the father and mother and four children sitting down to dinner—bread and dripping and tea. It says underneath the picture that there are thirteen million people in England always on the verge of starvation. These people you see in the picture might be able to get a better dinner than this if it weren’t for the fact that most of the money the guy earns has to pay the rent. Again, we turn the handle and soon we come to another very beautiful scene—‘Early Morning in Trafalgar Square’. Here we see a lot of Englishmen who have been sleeping out all night because they don’t have homes to go to.”
As a suitable selection for this picture, Bert played the tune of a music-hall song, the words of which were familiar to all the youngsters, who sang at the top of their voices:
As a good choice for this scene, Bert played a tune from a popular music-hall song, the lyrics of which were well-known to all the kids, who sang at the top of their lungs:
“I live in Trafalgar Square,
With four lions to guard me,
Pictures and statues all over the place,
Lord Nelson staring me straight in the face,
Of course it’s rather draughty,
But still I’m sure you’ll agree,
If it’s good enough for Lord Nelson,
It’s quite good enough for me.”
“I live in Trafalgar Square,
With four lions watching over me,
Pictures and statues everywhere,
Lord Nelson looking right at me,
It’s a bit drafty, sure,
But I’m sure you’ll agree,
If it’s good enough for Lord Nelson,
It’s definitely good enough for me.”
“Next we ’ave a view of the dining-hall at the Topside Hotel in London, where we see the tables set for a millionaires’ banquet. The forks and spoons is made of solid gold and the plates is made of silver. The flowers that you see on the tables and ’angin’ down from the ceilin’ and on the walls is worth £2,000 and it cost the bloke wot give the supper over £30,000 for this one beano. A few more turns of the ’andle shows us another glorious banquet—the King of Rhineland being entertained by the people of England. Next we finds ourselves looking on at the Lord Mayor’s supper at the Mansion House. All the fat men that you see sittin’ at the tables is Liberal and Tory Members of Parlimint. After this we ’ave a very beautiful pitcher hintitled ‘Four footed Haristocrats’. ’Ere you see Lady Slumrent’s pet dogs sittin’ up on chairs at their dinner table with white linen napkins tied round their necks, eatin’ orf silver plates like human people and being waited on by real live waiters in hevening dress. Lady Slumrent is very fond of her pretty pets and she does not allow them to be fed on anything but the very best food; they gets chicken, rump steak, mutton chops, rice pudding, jelly and custard.”
“Next we have a view of the dining hall at the Topside Hotel in London, where we see the tables set for a millionaires’ banquet. The forks and spoons are made of solid gold and the plates are made of silver. The flowers that you see on the tables and hanging down from the ceiling and on the walls are worth £2,000, and it cost the guy who hosted the dinner over £30,000 for this one event. A few more turns of the handle shows us another glorious banquet—the King of Rhineland being entertained by the people of England. Next, we find ourselves looking at the Lord Mayor’s supper at the Mansion House. All the well-fed men sitting at the tables are Liberal and Tory Members of Parliament. After this, we have a very beautiful picture titled ‘Four-Footed Aristocrats’. Here you see Lady Slumrent’s pet dogs sitting up on chairs at their dinner table with white linen napkins tied around their necks, eating off silver plates like human beings and being waited on by real live waiters in evening dress. Lady Slumrent is very fond of her pretty pets and she does not allow them to be fed anything but the very best food; they get chicken, rump steak, mutton chops, rice pudding, jelly, and custard.”
“I wished I was a pet dog, don’t you?” remarked Tommy Newman to Charley Linden.
“I wish I were a pet dog, don't you?” Tommy Newman said to Charley Linden.
“Not arf!” replied Charley.
“Not at all!” replied Charley.
“Here we see another unemployed procession,” continued Bert as he rolled another picture into sight; “2,000 able-bodied men who are not allowed to work. Next we see the hinterior of a Hindustrial ’Ome—Blind children and cripples working for their living. Our next scene is called ‘Cheap Labour’. ’Ere we see a lot of small boys about twelve and thirteen years old bein’ served out with their Labour Stifficats, which gives ’em the right to go to work and earn money to help their unemployed fathers to pay the slum rent.
“Here we see another group of unemployed people,” continued Bert as he rolled another image into view; “2,000 able-bodied men who can’t find work. Next, we see the inside of an Industrial Home—blind children and disabled people working to support themselves. Our next scene is called ‘Cheap Labor.’ Here we see a bunch of boys around twelve and thirteen years old getting their Labor Certificates, which gives them the right to work and earn money to help their unemployed fathers pay the slum rent.
“Once more we turns the ’andle and brings on one of our finest scenes. This lovely pitcher is hintitled ‘The Hangel of Charity’, and shows us the beautiful Lady Slumrent seated at the table in a cosy corner of ’er charmin’ boodore, writin’ out a little cheque for the relief of the poor of Slumtown.
“Once more we turn the handle and bring on one of our finest scenes. This lovely picture is titled ‘The Angel of Charity,’ and shows the beautiful Lady Slumrent seated at the table in a cozy corner of her charming boudoir, writing out a little check for the relief of the poor of Slumtown.”
“Our next scene is called ‘The Rival Candidates, or, a Scene during the General Election’. On the left you will observe, standin’ up in a motor car, a swell bloke with a eyeglass stuck in one eye, and a overcoat with a big fur collar and cuffs, addressing the crowd: this is the Honourable Augustus Slumrent, the Conservative candidate. On the other side of the road we see another motor car and another swell bloke with a round pane of glass in one eye and a overcoat with a big fur collar and cuffs, standing up in the car and addressin’ the crowd. This is Mr Mandriver, the Liberal candidate. The crowds of shabby-lookin’ chaps standin’ round the motor cars wavin’ their ’ats and cheerin’ is workin’ men. Both the candidates is tellin’ ’em the same old story, and each of ’em is askin’ the workin’ men to elect ’im to Parlimint, and promisin’ to do something or other to make things better for the lower horders.”
“Our next scene is called ‘The Rival Candidates, or, a Scene during the General Election’. On the left, you’ll see a well-dressed man with an eyeglass in one eye, wearing a fur-collared overcoat, standing in a motor car and addressing the crowd: this is the Honourable Augustus Slumrent, the Conservative candidate. On the other side of the road is another motor car with another well-dressed man, also wearing a fur-collared overcoat and with a round lens in one eye, standing in the car and speaking to the crowd. This is Mr. Mandriver, the Liberal candidate. The crowds of scruffy-looking guys surrounding the motor cars, waving their hats and cheering, are working men. Both candidates are telling them the same old story, asking the working men to elect them to Parliament, and promising to do something or other to improve conditions for the lower classes.”
As an appropriate selection to go with this picture, Bert played the tune of a popular song, the words being well known to the children, who sang enthusiastically, clapping their hands and stamping their feet on the floor in time with the music:
As a fitting choice to accompany this picture, Bert played a well-known song that the kids loved. They sang along excitedly, clapping their hands and stomping their feet to the beat of the music:
“We’ve both been there before,
Many a time, many a time!
We’ve both been there before,
Many a time!
Where many a gallon of beer has gone.
To colour his nose and mine,
We’ve both been there before,
Many a time, many a time!”
“We’ve both been there before,
So many times, so many times!
We’ve both been there before,
So many times!
Where countless gallons of beer have flowed.
To tint his nose and mine,
We’ve both been there before,
So many times, so many times!”
At the conclusion of the singing, Bert turned another picture into view.
At the end of the singing, Bert turned another picture around for everyone to see.
“’Ere we ’ave another election scene. At each side we see the two candidates the same as in the last pitcher. In the middle of the road we see a man lying on the ground, covered with blood, with a lot of Liberal and Tory working men kickin’ ’im, jumpin’ on ’im, and stampin’ on ’is face with their ’obnailed boots. The bloke on the ground is a Socialist, and the reason why they’re kickin’ ’is face in is because ’e said that the only difference between Slumrent and Mandriver was that they was both alike.”
“Before we have another election scene. On each side, we see the two candidates just like in the last picture. In the middle of the road, there’s a man lying on the ground, covered in blood, with a bunch of Liberal and Tory workers kicking him, jumping on him, and stomping on his face with their nailed boots. The guy on the ground is a Socialist, and the reason they’re beating him up is that he said the only difference between Slumrent and Mandriver is that they’re both the same.”
While the audience were admiring this picture, Bert played another well-known tune, and the children sang the words:
While the audience was admiring this picture, Bert played another popular song, and the kids sang the lyrics:
“Two lovely black eyes,
Oh what a surprise!
Only for telling a man he was wrong,
Two lovely black eyes.”
“Two beautiful black eyes,
Oh what a surprise!
Just for telling a man he was wrong,
Two beautiful black eyes.”
Bert continued to turn the handles of the rollers and a long succession of pictures passed across the stage, to the delight of the children, who cheered and sang as occasion demanded, but the most enthusiastic outburst of all greeted the appearance of the final picture, which was a portrait of the King. Directly the children saw it—without waiting for the band—they gave three cheers and began to sing the chorus of the National Anthem.
Bert kept turning the handles of the rollers, and a continuous stream of pictures moved across the stage, much to the delight of the kids, who cheered and sang whenever it felt right. However, the biggest reaction came when the last picture appeared, which was a portrait of the King. As soon as the kids saw it—without waiting for the band—they cheered three times and started singing the chorus of the National Anthem.
A round of applause for Bert concluded the Pandorama performance; the lamp and the candles of the Christmas tree were relit—for although all the toys had been taken off, the tree still made a fine show with the shining glass ornaments—and then they had some more games; blind man’s buff, a tug-of-war—in which Philpot was defeated with great laughter—and a lot of other games. And when they were tired of these, each child “said a piece” or sung a song, learnt specially for the occasion. The only one who had not come prepared in this respect was little Rosie, and even she—so as to be the same as the others—insisted on reciting the only piece she knew. Kneeling on the hearthrug, she put her hands together, palm to palm, and shutting her eyes very tightly she repeated the verse she always said every night before going to bed:
A round of applause for Bert wrapped up the Pandorama performance; the lamp and Christmas tree candles were relit—since all the toys had been taken off, the tree still looked great with the shining glass ornaments—and then they played some more games: blind man’s buff, a tug-of-war—where Philpot was defeated amidst great laughter—and a bunch of other games. When they got tired of those, each child recited a poem or sang a song, which they learned especially for the occasion. The only one who wasn’t prepared was little Rosie, but even she—wanting to be like the others—insisted on reciting the only piece she knew. Kneeling on the hearthrug, she put her hands together, palms touching, and tightly closed her eyes as she repeated the verse she always said every night before bed:
“Gentle Jesus, meek and mild,
Look on me, a little child.
Pity my simplicity,
Suffer me to come to Thee.”
“Gentle Jesus, kind and mild,
Look at me, a little child.
Have compassion for my simplicity,
Allow me to come to You.”
Then she stood up and kissed everyone in turn, and Philpot crossed over and began looking out of the window, and coughed, and blew his nose, because a nut that he had been eating had gone down the wrong way.
Then she stood up and kissed everyone one by one, and Philpot walked over and started looking out the window, coughing and blowing his nose because a nut he had been eating got stuck in the wrong way.
Most of them were by this time quite tired out, so after some supper the party broke up. Although they were nearly all very sleepy, none of them were very willing to go, but they were consoled by the thought of another entertainment to which they were going later on in the week—the Band of Hope Tea and Prize Distribution at the Shining Light Chapel.
Most of them were pretty worn out by this point, so after some dinner, the gathering came to an end. Even though they were all feeling quite sleepy, nobody was eager to leave, but they found comfort in the idea of another event they were attending later in the week—the Band of Hope Tea and Prize Distribution at the Shining Light Chapel.
Bert undertook to see Elsie and Charley safely home, and Philpot volunteered to accompany Nellie and Tommy Newman, and to carry Rosie, who was so tired that she fell asleep on his shoulder before they left the house.
Bert took it upon himself to make sure Elsie and Charley got home safely, while Philpot offered to go with Nellie and Tommy Newman, carrying Rosie, who was so exhausted that she fell asleep on his shoulder before they left the house.
As they were going down the stairs Frankie held a hurried consultation with his mother, with the result that he was able to shout after them an invitation to come again next Christmas.
As they were heading down the stairs, Frankie quickly discussed something with his mother, resulting in him being able to call out an invitation for them to come back next Christmas.
Chapter 30
The Brigands hold a Council of War
It being now what is usually called the festive season—possibly because at this period of the year a greater number of people are suffering from hunger and cold than at any other time—the reader will not be surprised at being invited to another little party which took place on the day after the one we have just left. The scene was Mr Sweater’s office. Mr Sweater was seated at his desk, but with his chair swung round to enable him to face his guests—Messrs Rushton, Didlum, and Grinder, who were also seated.
It’s now what is typically known as the holiday season—perhaps because more people are dealing with hunger and cold during this time than at any other time of year—the reader won’t be surprised to hear about another small gathering that happened the day after the one we just discussed. The setting was Mr. Sweater’s office. Mr. Sweater sat at his desk, but his chair was turned around so he could face his guests—Messrs. Rushton, Didlum, and Grinder, who were also seated.
“Something will ’ave to be done, and that very soon,” Grinder was saying. “We can’t go on much longer as we’re doing at present. For my part, I think the best thing to do is to chuck up the sponge at once; the company is practically bankrupt now, and the longer we waits the worser it will be.”
“Something needs to be done, and fast,” Grinder was saying. “We can’t keep going like this much longer. Personally, I think the best thing to do is to throw in the towel right away; the company is practically bankrupt now, and the longer we wait, the worse it will get.”
“That’s just my opinion,” said Didlum dejectedly. “If we could supply the electric light at the same price as gas, or a little cheaper, we might have some chance; but we can’t do it. The fact is that the machinery we’ve got is no dam good; it’s too small and it’s wore out, consequently the light we supply is inferior to gas and costs more.”
“That’s just how I see it,” Didlum said sadly. “If we could provide electric light at the same price as gas, or even a bit cheaper, we might have a shot; but we can’t. The truth is that the equipment we have is no good; it’s too small and it’s worn out, so the light we offer is worse than gas and costs more.”
“Yes, I think we’re fairly beaten this time,” said Rushton. “Why, even if the Gas Coy hadn’t moved their works beyond the borough boundary, still we shouldn’t ’ave been hable to compete with ’em.”
“Yes, I think we’re pretty much outmatched this time,” said Rushton. “Honestly, even if the Gas Company hadn’t pushed their work outside the borough boundary, we still wouldn’t have been able to compete with them.”
“Of course not,” said Grinder. “The truth of the matter is just wot Didlum says. Our machinery is too small, it’s worn hout, and good for nothing but to be throwed on the scrap-heap. So there’s only one thing left to do and that is—go into liquidation.”
“Of course not,” said Grinder. “The truth is exactly what Didlum says. Our equipment is too small, it’s worn out, and it’s only good for throwing on the scrap heap. So there’s only one thing left to do, and that is—go into liquidation.”
“I don’t see it,” remarked Sweater.
“I don’t see it,” said Sweater.
“Well, what do you propose, then?” demanded Grinder. “Reconstruct the company? Ask the shareholders for more money? Pull down the works and build fresh, and buy some new machinery? And then most likely not make a do of it after all? Not for me, old chap! I’ve ’ad enough. You won’t catch me chuckin’ good money after bad in that way.”
“Well, what do you suggest, then?” Grinder asked. “Rebuild the company? Ask the shareholders for more money? Tear everything down and start over, and get some new equipment? And then probably not succeed anyway? Not for me, buddy! I’ve had enough. You won’t see me throwing good money after bad like that.”
“Nor me neither,” said Rushton.
“Me neither,” said Rushton.
“Dead orf!” remarked Didlum, very decidedly.
“Dead orf!” Didlum said, with great certainty.
Sweater laughed quietly. “I’m not such a fool as to suggest anything of that sort,” he said. “You seem to forget that I am one of the largest shareholders myself. No. What I propose is that we Sell Out.”
Sweater laughed softly. “I’m not foolish enough to suggest anything like that,” he said. “You seem to forget that I’m one of the largest shareholders too. No. What I’m proposing is that we Sell Out.”
“Sell out!” replied Grinder with a contemptuous laugh in which the others joined. “Who’s going to buy the shares of a concern that’s practically bankrupt and never paid a dividend?”
“Sell out!” Grinder said with a scornful laugh that the others joined in on. “Who’s going to buy shares in a company that’s basically broke and has never paid a dividend?”
“I’ve tried to sell my little lot several times already,” said Didlum with a sickly smile, “but nobody won’t buy ’em.”
“I’ve tried to sell my little lot several times already,” said Didlum with a weak smile, “but nobody will buy them.”
“Who’s to buy?” repeated Sweater, replying to Grinder. “The municipality of course! The ratepayers. Why shouldn’t Mugsborough go in for Socialism as well as other towns?”
“Who’s going to buy?” repeated Sweater, answering Grinder. “The municipality, of course! The taxpayers. Why shouldn’t Mugsborough adopt Socialism like other towns?”
Rushton, Didlum and Grinder fairly gasped for breath: the audacity of the chief’s proposal nearly paralysed them.
Rushton, Didlum, and Grinder were literally gasping for air; the boldness of the chief's proposal almost left them frozen.
“I’m afraid we should never git away with it,” ejaculated Didlum, as soon as he could speak. “When the people tumbled to it, there’d be no hend of a row.”
“I’m afraid we could never get away with it,” exclaimed Didlum, as soon as he could speak. “When people caught on, there’d be no end of a mess.”
“PEOPLE! ROW!” replied Sweater, scornfully. “The majority of the people will never know anything about it! Listen to me—”
“PEOPLE! ROW!” replied Sweater, contemptuously. “Most people will never know anything about it! Listen to me—”
“Are you quite sure as we can’t be over’eard?” interrupted Rushton, glancing nervously at the door and round the office.
“Are you absolutely sure we won’t be overheard?” Rushton interrupted, glancing nervously at the door and around the office.
“It’s all right,” answered Sweater, who nevertheless lowered his voice almost to a whisper, and the others drew their chairs closer and bent forward to listen.
“It’s okay,” replied Sweater, who still lowered his voice nearly to a whisper, and the others scooted their chairs closer and leaned in to listen.
“You know we still have a little money in hand: well, what I propose is this: At the annual meeting, which, as you know, comes off next week, we’ll arrange for the Secretary to read a highly satisfactory report, and we’ll declare a dividend of 15 per cent—we can arrange it somehow between us. Of course, we’ll have to cook the accounts a little, but I’ll see that it’s done properly. The other shareholders are not going to ask any awkward questions, and we all understand each other.”
“You know we still have some money left: well, here’s what I’m thinking: At the annual meeting, which, as you know, is happening next week, we’ll have the Secretary present a really positive report, and we’ll announce a 15 percent dividend—we can figure it out together. Of course, we’ll need to adjust the accounts a bit, but I’ll make sure it’s done right. The other shareholders aren’t going to ask any tough questions, and we’re all on the same page.”
Sweater paused, and regarded the other three brigands intently. “Do you follow me?” he asked.
Sweater stopped and looked closely at the other three bandits. “Are you with me?” he asked.
“Yes, yes,” said Didlum eagerly. “Go on with it.” And Rushton and Grinder nodded assent.
“Yeah, yeah,” Didlum said eagerly. “Keep going.” And Rushton and Grinder nodded in agreement.
“Afterwards,” resumed Sweater, “I’ll arrange for a good report of the meeting to appear in the Weekly Ananias. I’ll instruct the Editor to write it himself, and I’ll tell him just what to say. I’ll also get him to write a leading article about it, saying that electricity is sure to supersede gas for lighting purposes in the very near future. Then the article will go on to refer to the huge profits made by the Gas Coy and to say how much better it would have been if the town had bought the gasworks years ago, so that those profits might have been used to reduce the rates, the same as has been done in other towns. Finally, the article will declare that it’s a great pity that the Electric Light Supply should be in the hands of a private company, and to suggest that an effort be made to acquire it for the town.
“Afterwards,” Sweater continued, “I’ll make sure a good report of the meeting gets published in the Weekly Ananias. I’ll have the Editor write it himself, and I’ll tell him exactly what to say. I’ll also get him to write a lead article about it, claiming that electricity is definitely going to replace gas for lighting in the very near future. Then the article will mention the huge profits made by the Gas Company and state how much better it would have been if the town had purchased the gasworks years ago, so those profits could have been used to lower rates, just like in other towns. Finally, the article will say it’s a real shame that the Electric Light Supply is controlled by a private company and suggest that we should try to acquire it for the town.
“In the meantime we can all go about—in a very quiet and judicious way, of course—bragging about what a good thing we’ve got, and saying we don’t mean to sell. We shall say that we’ve overcome all the initial expenses and difficulties connected with the installation of the works—that we are only just beginning to reap the reward of our industry and enterprise, and so on.
“In the meantime, we can all go around—in a very subtle and smart way, of course—talking about what a great opportunity we have and saying we have no intention of selling. We'll say that we've overcome all the initial costs and challenges related to setting up the business—that we are only just starting to enjoy the benefits of our hard work and initiative, and so on."
“Then,” continued the Chief, “we can arrange for it to be proposed in the Council that the Town should purchase the Electric Light Works.”
“Then,” continued the Chief, “we can propose to the Council that the Town should buy the Electric Light Works.”
“But not by one of us four, you know,” said Grinder with a cunning leer.
“But not by one of us four, you know,” Grinder said with a sly grin.
“Certainly not; that would give the show away at once. There are, as you know—several members of the Band who are not shareholders in the company; we’ll get some of them to do most of the talking. We, being the directors of the company, must pretend to be against selling, and stick out for our own price; and when we do finally consent we must make out that we are sacrificing our private interests for the good of the Town. We’ll get a committee appointed—we’ll have an expert engineer down from London—I know a man that will suit our purpose admirably—we’ll pay him a trifle and he’ll say whatever we tell him to—and we’ll rush the whole business through before you can say ‘Jack Robinson’, and before the rate-payers have time to realize what’s being done. Not that we need worry ourselves much about them. Most of them take no interest in public affairs, but even if there is something said, it won’t matter much to us once we’ve got the money. It’ll be a nine days’ wonder and then we’ll hear no more of it.”
“Definitely not; that would reveal everything right away. As you know, there are several members of the Band who don’t own shares in the company; we’ll have some of them do most of the talking. We, as the directors of the company, need to act like we’re against selling and hold out for our own price; and when we finally agree, we’ll make it seem like we’re sacrificing our own interests for the benefit of the Town. We’ll get a committee set up—we’ll bring an expert engineer down from London—I know just the right guy for the job—we’ll pay him a small fee, and he’ll say whatever we ask—then we’ll push the whole thing through before you can say ‘Jack Robinson’, and before the taxpayers realize what’s happening. Not that we need to worry too much about them. Most of them don’t care about public issues, but even if there is some fuss, it won’t concern us much once we’ve got the money. It’ll be a short-lived sensation and then we won’t hear another word about it.”
As the Chief ceased speaking, the other brigands also remained silent, speechless with admiration of his cleverness.
As the Chief stopped speaking, the other bandits stayed quiet, amazed by his cleverness.
“Well, what do you think of it?” he asked.
“Well, what do you think?” he asked.
“Think of it!” cried Grinder, enthusiastically. “I think it’s splendid! Nothing could be better. If we can honly git away with it, I reckon it’ll be one of the smartest thing we’ve ever done.”
“Think about it!” shouted Grinder, excitedly. “I think it’s amazing! Nothing could be better. If we can actually get away with it, I believe it’ll be one of the smartest things we’ve ever done.”
“Smart ain’t the word for it,” observed Rushton.
“Smart isn’t the right word for it,” Rushton noted.
“There’s no doubt it’s a grand idear!” exclaimed Didlum, “and I’ve just thought of something else that might be done to help it along. We could arrange to ’ave a lot of letters sent ‘To the Editor of the Obscurer’ and ‘To the Editor of the Ananias,’ and ‘To the Editor of the Weekly Chloroform’ in favour of the scheme.”
“There’s no doubt it’s a great idea!” exclaimed Didlum. “And I just thought of something else we could do to support it. We could organize a bunch of letters addressed ‘To the Editor of the Obscurer,’ ‘To the Editor of the Ananias,’ and ‘To the Editor of the Weekly Chloroform’ in favor of the scheme.”
“Yes, that’s a very good idea,” said Grinder. “For that matter the editors could write them to themselves and sign them ‘Progress’, ‘Ratepayer’, ‘Advance Mugsborough’, and sich-like.”
“Yes, that’s a great idea,” said Grinder. “In fact, the editors could just write those to themselves and sign them 'Progress', 'Ratepayer', 'Advance Mugsborough', and similar.”
“Yes, that’s all right,” said the Chief, thoughtfully, “but we must be careful not to overdo it; of course there will have to be a certain amount of publicity, but we don’t want to create too much interest in it.”
“Yes, that’s all good,” said the Chief, thoughtfully, “but we have to be careful not to go overboard; of course, we’ll need to get some publicity, but we don’t want to draw too much attention to it.”
“Come to think of it,” observed Rushton arrogantly, “why should we trouble ourselves about the opinion of the ratepayers at all? Why should we trouble to fake the books, or declare a dividend or ’ave the harticles in the papers or anything else? We’ve got the game in our own ’ands; we’ve got a majority in the Council, and, as Mr Sweater ses, very few people even take the trouble to read the reports of the meetings.”
“Now that I think about it,” Rushton said arrogantly, “why should we even care about what the ratepayers think? Why bother faking the books, declaring a dividend, or having the articles in the papers or anything else? We’ve got control in our own hands; we have the majority on the Council, and, as Mr. Sweater says, very few people actually take the time to read the meeting reports.”
“Yes, that’s right enough,” said Grinder. “But it’s just them few wot would make a lot of trouble and talk; THEY’RE the very people we ’as to think about. If we can only manage to put THEM in a fog we’ll be all right, and the way to do it is as Mr Sweater proposes.”
“Yes, that’s true,” said Grinder. “But it’s just those few who would cause a lot of trouble and gossip; THEY’RE the very people we have to consider. If we can just manage to confuse THEM, we’ll be fine, and the way to do it is as Mr. Sweater suggests.”
“Yes, I think so,” said the Chief. “We must be very careful. I can work it all right in the Ananias and the Chloroform, and of course you’ll see that the Obscurer backs us up.”
“Yes, I think so,” said the Chief. “We need to be very careful. I can manage everything with the Ananias and the Chloroform, and of course you'll make sure the Obscurer supports us.”
“I’ll take care of that,” said Grinder, grimly.
“I’ll handle that,” said Grinder, sternly.
The three local papers were run by limited companies. Sweater held nearly all the shares of the Ananias and of the Weekly Chloroform, and controlled their policy and contents. Grinder occupied the same position with regard to the Obscurer. The editors were a sort of marionettes who danced as Sweater and Grinder pulled the strings.
The three local newspapers were managed by limited companies. Sweater owned almost all the shares of the Ananias and the Weekly Chloroform, controlling their direction and content. Grinder had the same role with the Obscurer. The editors were like puppets who performed as Sweater and Grinder pulled the strings.
“I wonder how Dr Weakling will take it?” remarked Rushton.
“I wonder how Dr. Weakling will react?” Rushton said.
“That’s the very thing I was just thinkin’ about,” cried Didlum. “Don’t you think it would be a good plan if we could arrange to ’ave somebody took bad—you know, fall down in a fit or something in the street just outside the Town “All just before the matter is brought forward in the Council, and then ’ave someone to come and call ’im out to attend to the party wot’s ill, and keep ’im out till the business is done.”
“That's exactly what I was just thinking about,” exclaimed Didlum. “Don’t you think it would be a good idea if we could arrange for someone to have a seizure or something in the street just outside Town Hall right before the matter is brought up in the Council? Then we could have someone come and call him out to help the person who's sick and keep him occupied until the business is finished.”
“Yes, that’s a capital idear,” said Grinder thoughtfully. “But who could we get to ’ave the fit? It would ’ave to be someone we could trust, you know.”
“Yes, that’s a brilliant idea,” said Grinder thoughtfully. “But who could we get to have the fit? It would have to be someone we could trust, you know.”
“’Ow about Rushton? You wouldn’t mind doin’ it, would yer?” inquired Didlum.
“How about Rushton? You wouldn’t mind doing it, would you?” asked Didlum.
“I should strongly object,” said Rushton haughtily. He regarded the suggestion that he should act such an undignified part, as a kind of sacrilege.
“I strongly object,” Rushton said arrogantly. He saw the idea of playing such an undignified role as a kind of sacrilege.
“Then I’ll do it meself if necessary,” said Didlum. “I’m not proud when there’s money to be made; anything for an honest living.”
“Then I’ll just do it myself if I have to,” said Didlum. “I’m not too proud when there’s money to be made; I’ll do anything for an honest living.”
“Well, I think we’re all agreed, so far,” remarked Sweater. The others signified assent.
“Well, I think we all agree so far,” Sweater said. The others nodded in agreement.
“And I think we all deserve a drink,” the Chief continued, producing a decanter and a box of cigars from a cupboard by the side of his desk. “Pass that water bottle from behind you, Didlum.”
“And I think we all deserve a drink,” the Chief continued, pulling out a decanter and a box of cigars from a cupboard next to his desk. “Hand me that water bottle from behind you, Didlum.”
“I suppose nobody won’t be comin’ in?” said the latter, anxiously. “I’m a teetotaler, you know.”
“I guess nobody will be coming in?” said the latter, nervously. “I’m a teetotaler, you know.”
“Oh, it’s all right,” said Sweater, taking four glasses out of the cupboard and pouring out the whisky. “I’ve given orders that we’re not to be disturbed for anyone. Say when.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” said Sweater, pulling four glasses out of the cupboard and pouring the whisky. “I’ve told everyone not to interrupt us. Just say when.”
“Well, ’ere’s success to Socialism,” cried Grinder, raising his glass, and taking a big drink.
"Well, here’s to the success of Socialism," cried Grinder, raising his glass and taking a big sip.
“Amen—’ear, ’ear, I mean,” said Didlum, hastily correcting himself.
“Amen—'hear, 'hear, I mean,” said Didlum, quickly fixing his mistake.
“Wot I likes about this ’ere business is that we’re not only doin’ ourselves a bit of good,” continued Grinder with a laugh, “we’re not only doin’ ourselves a bit of good, but we’re likewise doin’ the Socialists a lot of ’arm. When the ratepayers ’ave bought the Works, and they begins to kick up a row because they’re losin’ money over it—we can tell ’em that it’s Socialism! And then they’ll say that if that’s Socialism they don’t want no more of it.”
“What's great about this business,” Grinder continued with a laugh, “is that we’re not just doing a little good for ourselves, but we’re also causing a lot of trouble for the Socialists. When the ratepayers buy the Works, and they start complaining because they’re losing money on it—we can tell them that it’s Socialism! And then they’ll say that if that’s what Socialism looks like, they don’t want anything to do with it.”
The other brigands laughed gleefully, and some of Didlum’s whisky went down the wrong way and nearly sent him into a fit.
The other robbers laughed joyfully, and some of Didlum's whisky went down the wrong way, almost making him choke.
“You might as well kill a man at once,” he protested as he wiped the tears from his eyes, “you might as well kill a man at once as choke ’im to death.”
“You might as well just kill a man right away,” he protested as he wiped the tears from his eyes, “you might as well kill a man right away as choke him to death.”
“And now I’ve got a bit of good news for you,” said the Chief as he put his empty glass down.
“And now I’ve got some good news for you,” said the Chief as he set his empty glass down.
The others became serious at once.
The others got serious right away.
“Although we’ve had a very rough time of it in our contest with the Gasworks Company, and although we’ve got the worst of it, it hasn’t been all lavender for them, you know. They’ve not enjoyed themselves either: we hit them pretty hard when we put up the coal dues.”
“Even though we've had a tough time dealing with the Gasworks Company, and we’ve come out worse for it, it hasn't been all smooth sailing for them either, you know. They haven't had it easy: we hit them pretty hard when we raised the coal fees.”
“A damn good job too,” said Grinder malignantly.
“A really good job too,” said Grinder maliciously.
“Well,” continued Sweater, “they’re just as sick of the fight as they want to be, because of course they don’t know exactly how badly we’ve been hit. For all they know, we could have continued the struggle indefinitely: and—well, to make a long story short, I’ve had a talk with the managing director and one or two others, and they’re willing to let us in with them. So that we can put the money we get for the Electric Light Works into gas shares!”
“Well,” continued Sweater, “they’re just as tired of the fight as they want to be because, of course, they don’t know exactly how badly we’ve been affected. For all they know, we could have kept going indefinitely: and—well, to cut a long story short, I’ve talked with the managing director and a couple of others, and they’re willing to let us join them. So we can invest the money we get from the Electric Light Works into gas shares!”
This was such splendid news that they had another drink on the strength of it, and Didlum said that one of the first things they would have to do would be to totally abolish the Coal Dues, because they pressed so hard on the poor.
This was such great news that they had another drink to celebrate, and Didlum said that one of the first things they should do is completely get rid of the Coal Dues, because they were such a burden on the poor.
Chapter 31
The Deserter
About the end of January, Slyme left Easton’s. The latter had not succeeded in getting anything to do since the work at “The Cave” was finished, and latterly the quality of the food had been falling off. The twelve shillings Slyme paid for his board and lodging was all that Ruth had to keep house with. She had tried to get some work to do herself, but generally without success; there were one or two jobs that she might have had if she had been able to give her whole time to them, but of course that was not possible; the child and the housework had to be attended to, and Slyme’s meals had to be prepared. Nevertheless, she contrived to get away several times when she had a chance of earning a few shillings by doing a day’s charing for some lady or other, and then she left everything in such order at home that Easton was able to manage all right while she was away. On these occasions, she usually left the baby with Owen’s wife, who was an old schoolmate of hers. Nora was the more willing to render her this service because Frankie used to be so highly delighted whenever it happened. He never tired of playing with the child, and for several days afterwards he used to worry his mother with entreaties to buy a baby of their own.
About the end of January, Slyme left Easton’s. Easton hadn't been able to find any work since the job at “The Cave” wrapped up, and lately the food quality had been getting worse. The twelve shillings Slyme paid for his board and lodging was all that Ruth had to manage the household. She tried to find some work for herself, but usually without luck; there were a couple of jobs she could’ve taken if she could dedicate her full time to them, but that wasn’t possible. She had to take care of the child and the housework, and prepare Slyme’s meals. Nonetheless, she managed to step out several times when she had a chance to earn a few shillings by doing a day’s cleaning for some lady, and she left everything in order at home so Easton could handle things while she was gone. During these times, she usually left the baby with Owen’s wife, who was an old classmate of hers. Nora was more than happy to help because Frankie always got so excited when it happened. He never tired of playing with the child, and for several days afterward, he would pester his mother with requests to buy a baby of their own.
Easton earned a few shillings occasionally; now and then he got a job to clean windows, and once or twice he did a few days’ or hours’ work with some other painter who had been fortunate enough to get a little job “on his own”—such as a ceiling to wash and whiten, or a room or two to paint; but such jobs were few.
Easton occasionally made a few shillings; sometimes he got a job cleaning windows, and once or twice he worked for a few days or hours with another painter who had been lucky enough to land a small job on his own—like washing and whitening a ceiling, or painting one or two rooms; but these opportunities were rare.
Sometimes, when they were very hard up, they sold something; the Bible that used to lie on the little table in the bay window was one of the first things to be parted with. Ruth erased the inscription from the fly-leaf and then they sold the book at a second-hand shop for two shillings. As time went on, they sold nearly everything that was saleable, except of course, the things that were obtained on the hire system.
Sometimes, when they were really short on money, they sold something; the Bible that used to sit on the little table in the bay window was one of the first things to go. Ruth wiped the inscription from the fly-leaf and then they sold the book at a thrift store for two shillings. As time passed, they sold almost everything that could be sold, except of course, the items that were rented.
Slyme could see that they were getting very much into debt and behind with the rent, and on two occasions already Easton had borrowed five shillings from him, which he might never be able to pay back. Another thing was that Slyme was always in fear that Ruth—who had never wholly abandoned herself to wrongdoing—might tell Easton what had happened; more than once she had talked of doing so, and the principal reason why she refrained was that she knew that even if he forgave her, he could never think the same of her as before. Slyme repeatedly urged this view upon her, pointing out that no good could result from such a confession.
Slyme could see that they were getting deeply in debt and falling behind on the rent, and on two occasions already, Easton had borrowed five shillings from him, which he might never be able to pay back. Another thing was that Slyme was always afraid that Ruth—who had never completely given herself over to wrongdoing—might tell Easton what had happened; more than once she had mentioned doing so, and the main reason she held back was that she knew that even if he forgave her, he would never see her the same way as before. Slyme repeatedly pressed this point to her, noting that no good could come from such a confession.
Latterly the house had become very uncomfortable. It was not only that the food was bad and that sometimes there was no fire, but Ruth and Easton were nearly always quarrelling about something or other. She scarcely spoke to Slyme at all, and avoided sitting at the table with him whenever possible. He was in constant dread that Easton might notice her manner towards him, and seek for some explanation. Altogether the situation was so unpleasant that Slyme determined to clear out. He made the excuse that he had been offered a few weeks’ work at a place some little distance outside the town. After he was gone they lived for several weeks in semi-starvation on what credit they could get and by selling the furniture or anything else they possessed that could be turned into money. The things out of Slyme’s room were sold almost directly he left.
Recently, the house had become very uncomfortable. It wasn't just that the food was bad and sometimes there was no fire, but Ruth and Easton were almost always arguing about something. She barely spoke to Slyme at all and avoided sitting at the table with him whenever she could. He was constantly worried that Easton might notice her behavior toward him and ask for an explanation. Overall, the situation was so unpleasant that Slyme decided to leave. He made up an excuse that he had been offered a few weeks of work at a place a little distance outside of town. After he left, they lived for several weeks in near starvation, relying on whatever credit they could get and selling furniture or anything else they had that could be turned into money. The items from Slyme's room were sold almost immediately after he left.
Chapter 32
The Veteran
Old Jack Linden had tried hard to earn a little money by selling bloaters, but they often went bad, and even when he managed to sell them all the profit was so slight that it was not worth doing.
Old Jack Linden had worked really hard to make some money by selling bloaters, but they often spoiled, and even when he managed to sell them all, the profit was so small that it wasn’t worth the effort.
Before the work at “The Cave” was finished, Philpot was a good friend to them; he frequently gave old Jack sixpence or a shilling and often brought a bag of cakes or buns for the children. Sometimes he came to tea with them on Sundays as an excuse for bringing a tin of salmon.
Before the work at “The Cave” was finished, Philpot was a good friend to them; he often gave old Jack sixpence or a shilling and frequently brought a bag of cakes or buns for the kids. Sometimes he came over for tea on Sundays as an excuse to bring a tin of salmon.
Elsie and Charley frequently went to Owen’s house to take tea with Frankie; in fact, whilst Owen had anything to do, they almost lived there, for both Owen and Nora, knowing that the Lindens had nothing to live on except the earnings of the young woman, encouraged the children to come often.
Elsie and Charley often went to Owen’s house to have tea with Frankie; in fact, as long as Owen had anything to do, they practically lived there, since both Owen and Nora, aware that the Lindens had no income other than the young woman's earnings, encouraged the kids to visit frequently.
Old Jack made some hopeless attempts to get work—work of any kind, but nobody wanted him; and to make things worse, his eyesight, which had been failing for a long time, became very bad. Once he was given a job by a big provision firm to carry an advertisement about the streets. The man who had been carrying it before—an old soldier—had been sacked the previous day for getting drunk while on duty. The advertisement was not an ordinary pair of sandwich boards, but a sort of box without any bottom or lid, a wooden frame, four sides covered with canvas, on which were pasted printed bills advertising margarine. Each side of this box or frame was rather larger than an ordinary sandwich board.
Old Jack made some desperate attempts to find work—any kind of work—but nobody wanted him. To make matters worse, his eyesight, which had been deteriorating for a while, got really bad. One time, a big food company hired him to carry an advertisement around the streets. The guy who had done it before—an old soldier—was fired the day before for being drunk on the job. The advertisement wasn’t just a regular set of sandwich boards; it was more like a box that had no top or bottom, a wooden frame with four sides covered in canvas, where printed bills advertising margarine were pasted. Each side of this box or frame was a bit larger than a regular sandwich board.
Old Linden had to get inside this thing and carry it about the streets; two straps fixed across the top of the frame and passing one over each of his shoulders enabled him to carry it. It swayed about a good deal as he walked along, especially when the wind caught it, but there were two handles inside to hold it steady by. The pay was eighteenpence a day, and he had to travel a certain route, up and down the busiest streets.
Old Linden had to get inside this thing and carry it around the streets; two straps fixed across the top of the frame and going over each of his shoulders let him carry it. It swayed quite a bit as he walked, especially when the wind caught it, but there were two handles inside to hold it steady. He was paid eighteen pence a day, and he had to travel a specific route, up and down the busiest streets.
At first the frame did not feel very heavy, but the weight seemed to increase as the time went on, and the straps hurt his shoulders. He felt very much ashamed, also, whenever he encountered any of his old mates, some of whom laughed at him.
At first, the frame didn’t feel too heavy, but it started to feel heavier as time passed, and the straps dug into his shoulders. He also felt really embarrassed whenever he ran into any of his old friends, some of whom laughed at him.
In consequence of the frame requiring so much attention to keep it steady, and being unused to the work, and his sight so bad, he several times narrowly escaped being run over. Another thing that added to his embarrassment was the jeering of the other sandwichmen, the loafers outside the public houses, and the boys, who shouted “old Jack in the box” after him. Sometimes the boys threw refuse at the frame, and once a decayed orange thrown by one of them knocked his hat off.
Due to the frame needing so much attention to keep it stable, and since he wasn't used to the work and his eyesight was poor, he nearly got run over several times. Another thing that made him uncomfortable was the mocking from the other sandwich men, the loafers hanging out by the pubs, and the boys who called out “old Jack in the box” after him. Sometimes the kids even threw trash at the frame, and once a rotten orange thrown by one of them knocked his hat off.
By the time evening came he was scarcely able to stand for weariness. His shoulders, his legs and his feet ached terribly, and as he was taking the thing back to the shop he was accosted by a ragged, dirty-looking, beer-sodden old man whose face was inflamed with drink and fury. This was the old soldier who had been discharged the previous day. He cursed and swore in the most awful manner and accused Linden of “taking the bread out of his mouth”, and, shaking his fist fiercely at him, shouted that he had a good mind to knock his face through his head and out of the back of his neck. He might possibly have tried to put this threat into practice but for the timely appearance of a policeman, when he calmed down at once and took himself off.
By the time evening arrived, he could barely stand from exhaustion. His shoulders, legs, and feet ached horribly, and while he was returning the item to the shop, a ragged, dirty-looking old man, who smelled of beer, confronted him. The man’s face was flushed from drinking and anger. This was the old soldier who had been discharged the day before. He cursed and swore in the worst way possible, accusing Linden of “taking food out of his mouth,” and, shaking his fist angrily at him, yelled that he was ready to knock his face right through the back of his head. He might have attempted to carry out this threat if a policeman hadn’t shown up just in time, which made him calm down immediately and leave.
Jack did not go back the next day; he felt that he would rather starve than have any more of the advertisement frame, and after this he seemed to abandon all hope of earning money: wherever he went it was the same—no one wanted him. So he just wandered about the streets aimlessly, now and then meeting an old workmate who asked him to have a drink, but this was not often, for nearly all of them were out of work and penniless.
Jack didn't go back the next day; he'd rather go hungry than deal with that advertising frame again. After that, he pretty much gave up on the idea of making any money. No matter where he went, it was the same—no one wanted to hire him. So he just drifted around the streets with no real purpose, occasionally running into an old coworker who would invite him for a drink, but this didn't happen often since almost all of them were out of work and broke.
Chapter 33
The Soldier’s Children
During most of this time, Jack Linden’s daughter-in-law had “Plenty of Work”, making blouses and pinafores for Sweater & Co. She had so much to do that one might have thought that the Tory Millennium had arrived, and that Tariff Reform was already an accomplished fact.
During this time, Jack Linden’s daughter-in-law had “Plenty of Work,” making blouses and pinafores for Sweater & Co. She was so busy that you might have thought the Tory Millennium had come, and that Tariff Reform was already a done deal.
She had Plenty of Work.
She had a lot of work.
At first they had employed her exclusively on the cheapest kind of blouses—those that were paid for at the rate of two shillings a dozen, but they did not give her many of that sort now. She did the work so neatly that they kept her busy on the better qualities, which did not pay her so well, because although she was paid more per dozen, there was a great deal more work in them than in the cheaper kinds. Once she had a very special one to make, for which she was paid six shillings; but it took her four and a half days—working early and late—to do it. The lady who bought this blouse was told that it came from Paris, and paid three guineas for it. But of course Mrs Linden knew nothing of that, and even if she had known, it would have made no difference to her.
At first, they had her working only on the cheapest blouses—ones that paid two shillings for a dozen—but they don’t give her many of those anymore. She did the work so well that they kept her busy on higher-quality pieces, which didn’t pay her as much. Even though she earned more per dozen, there was a lot more work involved than with the cheaper ones. Once, she had a special order to fill for six shillings; it took her four and a half days—working early and late—to finish it. The lady who bought this blouse was told it was from Paris and paid three guineas for it. But of course, Mrs. Linden didn’t know anything about that, and even if she had, it wouldn’t have made any difference to her.
Most of the money she earned went to pay the rent, and sometimes there was only two or three shillings left to buy food for all of them: sometimes not even so much, because although she had Plenty of Work she was not always able to do it. There were times when the strain of working the machine was unendurable: her shoulders ached, her arms became cramped, and her eyes pained so that it was impossible to continue. Then for a change she would leave the sewing and do some housework.
Most of the money she made went to pay the rent, and sometimes there was only two or three shillings left to buy food for all of them; sometimes not even that much, because even though she had Plenty of Work, she wasn’t always able to do it. There were times when the strain of working the machine was unbearable: her shoulders hurt, her arms became cramped, and her eyes ached so much that it was impossible to keep going. Then, for a change, she would leave the sewing and do some housework.
Once, when they owed four weeks’ rent, the agent was so threatening that they were terrified at the thought of being sold up and turned out of the house, and so she decided to sell the round mahogany table and some of the other things out of the sitting-room. Nearly all the furniture that was in the house now belonged to her, and had formed her home before her husband died. The old people had given most of their things away at different times to their other sons since she had come to live there. These men were all married and all in employment. One was a fitter at the gasworks; the second was a railway porter, and the other was a butcher; but now that the old man was out of work they seldom came to the house. The last time they had been there was on Christmas Eve, and then there had been such a terrible row between them that the children had been awakened by it and frightened nearly out of their lives. The cause of the row was that some time previously they had mutually agreed to each give a shilling a week to the old people. They had done this for three weeks and after that the butcher had stopped his contribution: it had occurred to him that he was not to be expected to help to keep his brother’s widow and her children. If the old people liked to give up the house and go to live in a room somewhere by themselves, he would continue paying his shilling a week, but not otherwise. Upon this the railway porter and the gas-fitter also ceased paying. They said it wasn’t fair that they should pay a shilling a week each when the butcher—who was the eldest and earned the best wages—paid nothing. Provided he paid, they would pay; but if he didn’t pay anything, neither would they. On Christmas Eve they all happened to come to the house at the same time; each denounced the others, and after nearly coming to blows they all went away raging and cursing and had not been near the place since.
Once, when they owed four weeks’ rent, the agent was so aggressive that they were scared of being evicted from their home. So, she decided to sell the round mahogany table and some other items from the sitting room. Almost all the furniture in the house belonged to her and had made up her home before her husband died. The older couple had given most of their belongings to their other sons over time since she had moved in. These men were all married and employed. One was a fitter at the gasworks, the second was a railway porter, and the other was a butcher; but now that the old man was unemployed, they rarely visited. The last time they had been over was on Christmas Eve, and there was such a huge fight between them that it woke the children and scared them almost to death. The argument stemmed from a previous agreement to each contribute a shilling a week for the old couple's support. They had kept this up for three weeks before the butcher decided to stop his contributions. He thought he shouldn’t have to support his brother’s widow and her kids. He said if the old couple wanted to move out and live in a room by themselves, he would continue giving a shilling a week, but not otherwise. Following this, the railway porter and the gas-fitter also stopped their payments. They argued it wasn’t right for them to each pay a shilling a week when the butcher, who was the oldest and made the most money, was contributing nothing. They agreed to pay only if he paid. On Christmas Eve, they all showed up at the same time, each blaming the others, and after nearly coming to blows, they left angry and swearing, and hadn't been back since.
As soon as she decided to sell the things, Mary went to Didlum’s second-hand furniture store, and the manager said he would ask Mr Didlum to call and see the table and other articles. She waited anxiously all the morning, but he did not appear, so she went once more to the shop to remind him. When he did come at last he was very contemptuous of the table and of everything else she offered to sell. Five shillings was the very most he could think of giving for the table, and even then he doubted whether he would ever get his money back. Eventually he gave her thirty shillings for the table, the overmantel, the easy chair, three other chairs and the two best pictures—one a large steel engraving of “The Good Samaritan” and the other “Christ Blessing Little Children”.
As soon as she decided to sell her stuff, Mary went to Didlum’s second-hand furniture store, and the manager said he would have Mr. Didlum come by to check out the table and other items. She waited nervously all morning, but he didn’t show up, so she went back to the shop to remind him. When he finally arrived, he was very dismissive of the table and everything else she wanted to sell. Five shillings was the absolute maximum he could consider offering for the table, and even then he questioned whether he would ever make his money back. In the end, he gave her thirty shillings for the table, the overmantel, the easy chair, three other chairs, and the two best pictures—one a large steel engraving of “The Good Samaritan” and the other “Christ Blessing Little Children.”
He paid the money at once; half an hour afterwards the van came to take the things away, and when they were gone, Mary sank down on the hearthrug in the wrecked room and sobbed as if her heart would break.
He paid the money right away; half an hour later, the van arrived to pick up the things, and when they were gone, Mary collapsed on the hearthrug in the damaged room and cried as if her heart would shatter.
This was the first of several similar transactions. Slowly, piece by piece, in order to buy food and to pay the rent, the furniture was sold. Every time Didlum came he affected to be doing them a very great favour by buying the things at all. Almost an act of charity. He did not want them. Business was so bad: it might be years before he could sell them again, and so on. Once or twice he asked Mary if she did not want to sell the clock—the one that her late husband had made for his mother, but Mary shrank from the thought of selling this, until at last there was nothing else left that Didlum would buy, and one week, when Mary was too ill to do any needlework—it had to go. He gave them ten shillings for it.
This was the first of several similar transactions. Slowly, piece by piece, to buy food and pay the rent, the furniture was sold. Every time Didlum came, he acted like he was doing them a huge favor by buying the stuff at all. Almost like an act of charity. He didn't really want them. Business was so bad; it might be years before he could sell them again, and so on. Once or twice he asked Mary if she wanted to sell the clock—the one her late husband made for his mother—but Mary couldn’t bear to part with it. Eventually, there was nothing else left that Didlum would buy, and one week, when Mary was too sick to do any needlework, it had to go. He offered them ten shillings for it.
Mary had expected the old woman to be heartbroken at having to part with this clock, but she was surprised to see her almost indifferent. The truth was, that lately both the old people seemed stunned, and incapable of taking an intelligent interest in what was happening around them, and Mary had to attend to everything.
Mary had expected the old woman to be heartbroken about parting with the clock, but she was surprised to find her almost indifferent. The truth was that lately, both old people seemed dazed and unable to take a genuine interest in what was going on around them, leaving Mary to handle everything.
From time to time nearly all their other possessions—things of inferior value that Didlum would not look at, she carried out and sold at small second-hand shops in back streets or pledged at the pawn-broker’s. The feather pillows, sheets, and blankets: bits of carpet or oilcloth, and as much of their clothing as was saleable or pawnable. They felt the loss of the bedclothes more than anything else, for although all the clothes they wore during the day, and all the old clothes and dresses in the house, and even an old coloured tablecloth, were put on the beds at night, they did not compensate for the blankets, and they were often unable to sleep on account of the intense cold.
From time to time, almost all of their other belongings—things of little value that Didlum wouldn’t even consider—she took out and sold at small second-hand shops in back alleys or pawned at the pawn shop. The feather pillows, sheets, and blankets; bits of carpet or oilcloth, and as much of their clothes as could be sold or pawned. They missed the bedclothes more than anything else because, even though all the clothes they wore during the day, along with all the old clothes and dresses in the house, and even an old colored tablecloth, were put on the beds at night, they didn’t make up for the blankets, and they often struggled to sleep due to the intense cold.
A lady district visitor who called occasionally sometimes gave Mary an order for a hundredweight of coal or a shillingsworth of groceries, or a ticket for a quart of soup, which Elsie fetched in the evening from the Soup Kitchen. But this was not very often, because, as the lady said, there were so many cases similar to theirs that it was impossible to do more than a very little for any one of them.
A lady from the district who visited occasionally sometimes gave Mary an order for a hundredweight of coal, a few groceries worth a shilling, or a ticket for a quart of soup that Elsie would pick up from the Soup Kitchen in the evening. But this didn't happen very often because, as the lady said, there were so many cases like theirs that it was impossible to do much for any single one of them.
Sometimes Mary became so weak and exhausted through overwork, worry, and lack of proper food that she broke down altogether for the time being, and positively could not do any work at all. Then she used to lie down on the bed in her room and cry.
Sometimes Mary became so weak and worn out from overworking, stressing out, and not eating properly that she completely broke down for a while and really couldn't do any work at all. Then she would lie down on her bed and cry.
Whenever she became like this, Elsie and Charley used to do the housework when they came home from school, and make tea and toast for her, and bring it to the bedside on a chair so that she could eat lying down. When there was no margarine or dripping to put on the toast, they made it very thin and crisp and pretended it was biscuit.
Whenever she was like this, Elsie and Charley would do the housework when they got home from school, make tea and toast for her, and bring it to her bedside on a chair so she could eat while lying down. When there was no margarine or dripping to spread on the toast, they made it really thin and crisp and pretended it was a cookie.
The children rather enjoyed these times; the quiet and leisure was so different from other days when their mother was so busy she had no time to speak to them.
The kids really liked these moments; the peace and free time were such a change from other days when their mom was so busy she couldn't even talk to them.
They would sit on the side of the bed, the old grandmother in her chair opposite with the cat beside her listening to the conversation and purring or mewing whenever they stroked it or spoke to it. They talked principally of the future. Elsie said she was going to be a teacher and earn a lot of money to bring home to her mother to buy things with. Charley was thinking of opening a grocer’s shop and having a horse and cart. When one has a grocer’s shop, there is always plenty to eat; even if you have no money, you can take as much as you like out of your shop—good stuff, too, tins of salmon, jam, sardines, eggs, cakes, biscuits and all those sorts of things—and one was almost certain to have some money every day, because it wasn’t likely that a whole day would go by without someone or other coming into the shop to buy something. When delivering the groceries with the horse and cart, he would give rides to all the boys he knew, and in the summertime, after the work was done and the shop shut up, Mother and Elsie and Granny could also come for long rides into the country.
They would sit on the edge of the bed, the old grandmother in her chair across from them with the cat beside her, listening to the conversation and purring or meowing whenever they petted it or talked to it. They mostly talked about the future. Elsie said she wanted to be a teacher and make a lot of money to bring home to her mom to buy things with. Charley was thinking about opening a grocery store and having a horse and cart. When you have a grocery store, there’s always plenty to eat; even if you don’t have money, you can take as much as you want from your shop—good stuff, too, cans of salmon, jam, sardines, eggs, cakes, cookies, and all that kind of stuff—and you’re almost guaranteed to make some money every day, since it’s unlikely a whole day would pass without someone coming into the store to buy something. While delivering groceries with the horse and cart, he would give rides to all the boys he knew, and in the summertime, after the work was done and the store was closed, Mom, Elsie, and Granny could join him for long rides into the countryside.
The old grandmother—who had latterly become quite childish—used to sit and listen to all this talk with a superior air. Sometimes she argued with the children about their plans, and ridiculed them. She used to say with a chuckle that she had heard people talk like that before—lots of times—but it never came to nothing in the end.
The old grandmother—who had lately become quite childlike—would sit and listen to all this conversation with a condescending attitude. Sometimes she would debate with the kids about their plans and mock them. She would chuckle and say that she had heard people talk like that before—lots of times—but it never led to anything in the end.
One week about the middle of February, when they were in very sore straits indeed, old Jack applied to the secretary of the Organized Benevolence Society for assistance. It was about eleven o’clock in the morning when he turned the corner of the street where the office of the society was situated and saw a crowd of about thirty men waiting for the doors to be opened in order to apply for soup tickets. Some of these men were of the tramp or the drunken loafer class; some were old, broken-down workmen like himself, and others were labourers wearing corduroy or moleskin trousers with straps round their legs under their knees.
One week in mid-February, when they were really struggling, old Jack went to the secretary of the Organized Benevolence Society for help. It was around eleven o’clock in the morning when he turned the corner of the street where the society's office was located and saw a crowd of about thirty men waiting for the doors to open so they could get soup tickets. Some of these men were tramps or drunken loafers; some were older, worn-out workers like him, and others were laborers wearing corduroy or moleskin pants with straps around their legs just below their knees.
Linden waited at a distance until all these were gone before he went in. The secretary received him sympathetically and gave him a big form to fill up, but as Linden’s eyes were so bad and his hand so unsteady the secretary very obligingly wrote in the answers himself, and informed him that he would inquire into the case and lay his application before the committee at the next meeting, which was to be held on the following Thursday—it was then Monday.
Linden waited at a distance until everyone else had left before he went in. The secretary greeted him kindly and handed him a large form to fill out, but since Linden's eyesight was poor and his hands were unsteady, the secretary kindly took it upon himself to write in the answers. He told Linden that he would look into the case and present his application to the committee at the next meeting, which was scheduled for the following Thursday—it was Monday then.
Linden explained to him that they were actually starving. He had been out of work for sixteen weeks, and during all that time they had lived for the most part on the earnings of his daughter-in-law, but she had not done anything for nearly a fortnight now, because the firm she worked for had not had any work for her to do. There was no food in the house and the children were crying for something to eat. All last week they had been going to school hungry, for they had had nothing but dry bread and tea every day: but this week—as far as he could see—they would not get even that. After some further talk the secretary gave him two soup tickets and an order for a loaf of bread, and repeated his promise to inquire into the case and bring it before the committee.
Linden told him they were really starving. He had been out of work for sixteen weeks, and during that time they mostly relied on his daughter-in-law’s income. But she hadn’t worked in nearly two weeks because her company didn’t have any work for her. There was no food in the house, and the kids were crying for something to eat. All last week, they had gone to school hungry, surviving on just dry bread and tea every day; but this week—at least from what he could tell—they wouldn’t even get that. After some more discussion, the secretary gave him two soup tickets and a voucher for a loaf of bread and promised to look into their situation and present it to the committee.
As Jack was returning home he passed the Soup Kitchen, where he saw the same lot of men who had been to the office of the Organized Benevolence Society for the soup tickets. They were waiting in a long line to be admitted. The premises being so small, the proprietor served them in batches of ten at a time.
As Jack was heading home, he walked by the Soup Kitchen, where he saw the same group of men who had been to the Organized Benevolence Society's office for soup tickets. They were lining up to get in. Since the place was so small, the owner served them in groups of ten at a time.
On Wednesday the secretary called at the house, and on Friday Jack received a letter from him to the effect that the case had been duly considered by the committee, who had come to the conclusion that as it was a “chronic” case they were unable to deal with it, and advised him to apply to the Board of Guardians. This was what Linden had hitherto shrunk from doing, but the situation was desperate. They owed five weeks’ rent, and to crown their misfortune his eyesight had become so bad that even if there had been any prospect of obtaining work it was very doubtful if he could have managed to do it. So Linden, feeling utterly crushed and degraded, swallowed all that remained of his pride and went like a beaten dog to see the relieving officer, who took him before the Board, who did not think it a suitable case for out-relief, and after some preliminaries it was arranged that Linden and his wife were to go into the workhouse, and Mary was to be allowed three shillings a week to help her to support herself and the two children. As for Linden’s sons, the Guardians intimated their Intention of compelling them to contribute towards the cost of their parents’ maintenance.
On Wednesday, the secretary came by the house, and on Friday Jack got a letter from him saying that the committee had considered the case and concluded that since it was a “chronic” situation, they couldn’t handle it and advised him to apply to the Board of Guardians. This was what Linden had been avoiding, but the situation was desperate. They owed five weeks' rent, and to make matters worse, his eyesight had gotten so bad that even if there had been a chance of finding work, it was unlikely he could manage it. So Linden, feeling completely crushed and humiliated, set aside his pride and went like a beaten dog to see the relief officer, who took him in front of the Board. The Board didn’t think it was a suitable case for outside help, and after a few discussions, it was decided that Linden and his wife would go into the workhouse, and Mary would receive three shillings a week to help support herself and the two kids. As for Linden's sons, the Guardians indicated they planned to make them contribute to their parents’ maintenance costs.
Mary accompanied the old people to the gates of their future dwelling-place, and when she returned home she found there a letter addressed to J. Linden. It was from the house agent and contained a notice to leave the house before the end of the ensuing week. Nothing was said about the rent that was due. Perhaps Mr Sweater thought that as he had already received nearly six hundred pounds in rent from Linden he could afford to be generous about the five weeks that were still owing—or perhaps he thought there was no possibility of getting the money. However that may have been, there was no reference to it in the letter—it was simply a notice to clear out, addressed to Linden, but meant for Mary.
Mary walked the elderly residents to the gates of their new home, and when she came back, she found a letter addressed to J. Linden. It was from the real estate agent and contained a notice to vacate the house by the end of the coming week. There was no mention of the rent that was overdue. Maybe Mr. Sweater thought that since he had already collected nearly six hundred pounds in rent from Linden, he could afford to be lenient about the five weeks still owed—or maybe he figured there was no chance of getting the money. Regardless, the letter made no mention of it—it was just a notice to move out, addressed to Linden but intended for Mary.
It was about half past three o’clock in the afternoon when she returned home and found this letter on the floor in the front passage. She was faint with fatigue and hunger, for she had had nothing but a cup of tea and a slice of bread that day, and her fare had not been much better for many weeks past. The children were at school, and the house—now almost destitute of furniture and without carpets or oilcloth on the floors—was deserted and cold and silent as a tomb. On the kitchen table were a few cracked cups and saucers, a broken knife, some lead teaspoons, a part of a loaf, a small basin containing some dripping and a brown earthenware teapot with a broken spout. Near the table were two broken kitchen chairs, one with the top cross-piece gone from the back, and the other with no back to the seat at all. The bareness of the walls was relieved only by a coloured almanac and some paper pictures which the children had tacked upon them, and by the side of the fireplace was the empty wicker chair where the old woman used to sit. There was no fire in the grate, and the cold hearth was untidy with an accumulation of ashes, for during the trouble of these last few days she had not had time or heart to do any housework. The floor was unswept and littered with scraps of paper and dust: in one corner was a heap of twigs and small branches of trees that Charley had found somewhere and brought home for the fire.
It was around 3:30 in the afternoon when she got home and found this letter on the floor in the hallway. She was weak from exhaustion and hunger, having only had a cup of tea and a slice of bread that day, and her meals had been barely better for many weeks. The kids were at school, and the house—now nearly empty of furniture and lacking carpets or oilcloth on the floors—was deserted, cold, and as silent as a grave. On the kitchen table were a few chipped cups and saucers, a broken knife, some metal teaspoons, part of a loaf of bread, a small bowl with some drippings, and a brown ceramic teapot with a broken spout. Next to the table were two broken kitchen chairs, one missing the top cross piece from the back and the other with no back at all. The bare walls were only decorated by a colorful almanac and some paper pictures the children had put up, and beside the fireplace was the empty wicker chair where the old woman used to sit. There was no fire in the grate, and the cold hearth was messy with a pile of ashes, as she hadn’t had the time or energy to clean during the troubles of the past few days. The floor was unswept and scattered with bits of paper and dust: in one corner was a pile of twigs and small branches that Charley had picked up somewhere and brought home for the fire.
The same disorder prevailed all through the house: all the doors were open, and from where she stood in the kitchen she could see the bed she shared with Elsie, with its heterogeneous heap of coverings. The sitting-room contained nothing but a collection of odds and ends of rubbish which belonged to Charley—his “things” as he called them—bits of wood, string and rope; one wheel of a perambulator, a top, an iron hoop and so on. Through the other door was visible the dilapidated bedstead that had been used by the old people, with a similar lot of bedclothes to those on her own bed, and the torn, ragged covering of the mattress through the side of which the flock was protruding and falling in particles on to the floor.
The same chaos filled the house: all the doors were open, and from where she stood in the kitchen, she could see the bed she shared with Elsie, with its mismatched pile of blankets. The living room had nothing but a mix of random junk that belonged to Charley—his “stuff,” as he called it—pieces of wood, string and rope; one wheel of a stroller, a top, an iron hoop, and so on. Through the other door, you could see the worn-out bed frame that had been used by the old people, with a similar collection of bedclothes to those on her own bed, and the torn, ragged cover of the mattress, with stuffing poking out and falling onto the floor.
As she stood there with the letter in her hand—faint and weary in the midst of all this desolation, it seemed to her as if the whole world were falling to pieces and crumbling away all around her.
As she stood there with the letter in her hand—feeling faint and tired amidst all this devastation, it seemed to her that the entire world was falling apart and crumbling away around her.
Chapter 34
The Beginning of the End
During the months of January and February, Owen, Crass, Slyme and Sawkins continued to work at irregular intervals for Rushton & Co., although—even when there was anything to do—they now put in only six hours a day, commencing in the morning and leaving off at four, with an hour’s interval for dinner between twelve and one. They finished the “plant” and painted the front of Rushton’s shop. When all this was completed, as no other work came in, they all had to “stand off” with the exception of Sawkins, who was kept on because he was cheap and able to do all sorts of odd jobs, such as unstopping drains, repairing leaky roofs, rough painting or lime-washing, and he was also useful as a labourer for the plumbers, of whom there were now three employed at Rushton’s, the severe weather which had come in with January having made a lot of work in that trade. With the exception of this one branch, practically all work was at a standstill.
During January and February, Owen, Crass, Slyme, and Sawkins continued to work for Rushton & Co. at irregular intervals, but even when there was work to do, they only worked six hours a day, starting in the morning and finishing at four, with an hour for lunch between twelve and one. They completed the “plant” and painted the front of Rushton’s shop. Once all this was done, since no new work came in, everyone had to be "stood off" except for Sawkins, who was kept on because he was inexpensive and could handle all sorts of odd jobs like unclogging drains, fixing leaky roofs, rough painting, or lime-washing. He was also helpful as a laborer for the plumbers, of whom there were now three working at Rushton’s, since the harsh weather that started in January had created a lot of work in that field. Aside from this one area, nearly all work had come to a halt.
During this time Rushton & Co. had had several “boxing-up” jobs to do, and Crass always did the polishing of the coffins on these occasions, besides assisting to take the “box” home when finished and to “lift in” the corpse, and afterwards he always acted as one of the bearers at the funerals. For an ordinary class funeral he usually put in about three hours for the polishing; that came to one and nine. Taking home the coffin and lifting in the corpse, one shilling—usually there were two men to do this besides Hunter, who always accompanied them to superintend the work—attending the funeral and acting as bearer, four shillings: so that altogether Crass made six shillings and ninepence out of each funeral, and sometimes a little more. For instance, when there was an unusually good-class corpse they had a double coffin and then of course there were two “lifts in”, for the shell was taken home first and the outer coffin perhaps a day or two later: this made another shilling. No matter how expensive the funeral was, the bearers never got any more money. Sometimes the carpenter and Crass were able to charge an hour or two more on the making and polishing of a coffin for a good job, but that was all. Sometimes, when there was a very cheap job, they were paid only three shillings for attending as bearers, but this was not often: as a rule they got the same amount whether it was a cheap funeral or an expensive one. Slyme earned only five shillings out of each funeral, and Owen only one and six—for writing the coffin plate.
During this time, Rushton & Co. had several "boxing-up" jobs to do, and Crass always polished the coffins for these jobs, as well as helped carry the "box" home when it was finished and "lift in" the body. Afterwards, he would also be one of the bearers at the funerals. For an average funeral, he usually spent about three hours polishing, which paid him one and nine. Carrying the coffin and lifting in the body cost one shilling—usually there were two men doing this alongside Hunter, who always came along to supervise the work—attending the funeral and serving as a bearer earned him four shillings. So, all in all, Crass made six shillings and ninepence from each funeral, and sometimes a bit more. For instance, if they had a really high-class body, they used a double coffin, which meant there would be two "lifts in" since the shell would be taken home first and the outer coffin typically a day or two later; this added another shilling. Regardless of how expensive the funeral was, the bearers never got paid any more. Sometimes the carpenter and Crass could charge an extra hour or two for making and polishing a coffin for a good job, but that was about it. There were occasions when they were only paid three shillings to attend as bearers for a very cheap job, but that wasn't common; generally, they received the same pay whether the funeral was inexpensive or costly. Slyme earned only five shillings from each funeral, and Owen got just one and six for writing the coffin plate.
Sometimes there were three or four funerals in a week, and then Crass did very well indeed. He still had the two young men lodgers at his house, and although one of them was out of work he was still able to pay his way because he had some money in the bank.
Sometimes there were three or four funerals in a week, and then Crass did really well. He still had the two young male lodgers at his house, and even though one of them was unemployed, he was still able to pay his share because he had some savings in the bank.
One of the funeral jobs led to a terrible row between Crass and Sawkins. The corpse was that of a well-to-do woman who had been ill for a long time with cancer of the stomach, and after the funeral Rushton & Co. had to clean and repaint and paper the room she had occupied during her illness. Although cancer is not supposed to be an infectious disease, they had orders to take all the bedding away and have it burnt. Sawkins was instructed to take a truck to the house and get the bedding and take it to the town Refuse Destructor to be destroyed. There were two feather beds, a bolster and two pillows: they were such good things that Sawkins secretly resolved that instead of taking them to the Destructor he would take them to a second-hand dealer and sell them.
One of the funeral jobs sparked a huge argument between Crass and Sawkins. The deceased was a wealthy woman who had been suffering from stomach cancer for a long time, and after the funeral, Rushton & Co. needed to clean, repaint, and wallpaper the room she had used during her illness. Even though cancer isn't considered contagious, they were ordered to dispose of all the bedding and have it burned. Sawkins was told to take a truck to the house, collect the bedding, and bring it to the town's Refuse Destructor for disposal. There were two feather beds, a bolster, and two pillows; they were in such good condition that Sawkins secretly decided that instead of taking them to the Destructor, he would sell them to a second-hand dealer.
As he was coming away from the house with the things he met Hunter, who told him that he wanted him for some other work; so he was to take the truck to the yard and leave it there for the present; he could take the bedding to the Destructor later on in the day. Sawkins did as Hunter ordered, and in the meantime Crass, who happened to be working at the yard painting some venetian blinds, saw the things on the truck, and, hearing what was to be done with them, he also thought it was a pity that such good things should be destroyed: so when Sawkins came in the afternoon to take them away Crass told him he need not trouble; “I’m goin’ to ’ave that lot,” he said; “they’re too good to chuck away; there’s nothing wrong with ’em.”
As he was leaving the house with the items, he ran into Hunter, who told him he needed him for another task. So, he was supposed to take the truck to the yard and leave it there for now; he could drop off the bedding at the Destructor later in the day. Sawkins did as Hunter instructed, and meanwhile, Crass, who was at the yard painting some Venetian blinds, noticed the items on the truck. Hearing what was going to happen to them, he thought it was a shame that such good things would be destroyed. So when Sawkins came back in the afternoon to pick them up, Crass told him not to worry; “I’m going to take that lot,” he said; “they're too good to throw away; there’s nothing wrong with them.”
This did not suit Sawkins at all. He said he had been told to take them to the Destructor, and he was going to do so. He was dragging the cart out of the yard when Crass rushed up and lifted the bundle off and carried it into the paint-shop. Sawkins ran after him and they began to curse and swear at each other; Crass accusing Sawkins of intending to take the things to the marine stores and sell them. Sawkins seized hold of the bundle with the object of replacing it on the cart, but Crass got hold of it as well and they had a tussle for it—a kind of tug of war—reeling and struggling all over the shop, cursing and swearing horribly all the time. Finally, Sawkins—being the better man of the two—succeeded in wrenching the bundle away and put it on the cart again, and then Crass hurriedly put on his coat and said he was going to the office to ask Mr Rushton if he might have the things. Upon hearing this, Sawkins became so infuriated that he lifted the bundle off the cart and, throwing it upon the muddy ground, right into a pool of dirty water, trampled it underfoot; and then, taking out his clasp knife, began savagely hacking and ripping the ticking so that the feathers all came falling out. In a few minutes he had damaged the things beyond hope of repair, while Crass stood by, white and trembling, watching the proceedings but lacking the courage to interfere.
This really didn’t sit well with Sawkins at all. He said he had been instructed to take them to the Destructor, and he planned to do just that. He was pulling the cart out of the yard when Crass rushed over, lifted the bundle off, and carried it into the paint shop. Sawkins chased after him, and they started hurling insults at each other; Crass accused Sawkins of wanting to take the stuff to the marine stores and sell it. Sawkins grabbed the bundle to put it back on the cart, but Crass got hold of it too, and they ended up in a struggle—a sort of tug-of-war—reeling and fighting all over the shop, cursing and swearing horribly the entire time. Eventually, Sawkins—being the stronger of the two—managed to yank the bundle away and put it back on the cart. Crass then quickly put on his coat and said he was going to the office to ask Mr. Rushton if he could have the items. Hearing this made Sawkins so furious that he lifted the bundle off the cart, threw it onto the muddy ground, right into a puddle of dirty water, and stomped on it. Then, pulling out his clasp knife, he viciously started cutting and tearing the ticking, causing feathers to fall everywhere. In just a few minutes, he had ruined the items beyond repair, while Crass stood by, pale and shaking, watching but too scared to intervene.
“Now go to the office and ask Rushton for ’em, if you like!” shouted Sawkins. “You can ’ave ’em now, if you want ’em.”
“Now go to the office and ask Rushton for them, if you want!” shouted Sawkins. “You can have them now, if you want.”
Crass made no answer and, after a moment’s hesitation, went back to his work, and Sawkins piled the things on the cart once more and took them away to the Destructor. He would not be able to sell them now, but at any rate he had stopped that dirty swine Crass from getting them.
Crass didn't respond and, after a brief pause, returned to his work. Sawkins loaded the items back onto the cart and took them to the Destructor. He wouldn't be able to sell them now, but at least he had prevented that filthy pig Crass from getting them.
When Crass went back to the paint-shop he found there one of the pillows which had fallen out of the bundle during the struggle. He took it home with him that evening and slept upon it. It was a fine pillow, much fuller and softer and more cosy than the one he had been accustomed to.
When Crass returned to the paint shop, he discovered one of the pillows that had fallen out of the bundle during the fight. He brought it home with him that evening and slept on it. It was a great pillow, much fuller, softer, and cozier than the one he was used to.
A few days afterwards when he was working at the room where the woman died, they gave him some other things that had belonged to her to do away with, and amongst them was a kind of wrap of grey knitted wool. Crass kept this for himself: it was just the thing to wrap round one’s neck when going to work on a cold morning, and he used it for that purpose all through the winter. In addition to the funerals, there was a little other work: sometimes a room or two to be painted and papered and ceilings whitened, and once they had the outside of two small cottages to paint—doors and windows—two coats. All four of them worked at this job and it was finished in two days. And so they went on.
A few days later, while he was working in the room where the woman had died, they gave him some other items that belonged to her to dispose of, including a gray knitted wool wrap. Crass kept it for himself; it was perfect for wrapping around his neck on a cold morning commute, and he used it for that purpose all winter. Besides the funerals, there was a bit of other work: sometimes a room or two needed painting and wallpapering, and they had to whiten the ceilings. Once, they painted the outside of two small cottages—doors and windows—with two coats. All four of them worked on this job and finished it in two days. And that’s how they kept going.
Some weeks Crass earned a pound or eighteen shillings; sometimes a little more, generally less and occasionally nothing at all.
Some weeks, Crass earned a pound or eighteen shillings; sometimes a bit more, usually less, and occasionally nothing at all.
There was a lot of jealousy and ill-feeling amongst them about the work. Slyme and Crass were both aggrieved about Sawkins whenever they were idle, especially if the latter were painting or whitewashing, and their indignation was shared by all the others who were “off”. Harlow swore horribly about it, and they all agreed that it was disgraceful that a bloody labourer should be employed doing what ought to be skilled work for fivepence an hour, while properly qualified men were “walking about”. These other men were also incensed against Slyme and Crass because the latter were given the preference whenever there was a little job to do, and it was darkly insinuated that in order to secure this preference these two were working for sixpence an hour. There was no love lost between Crass and Slyme either: Crass was furious whenever it happened that Slyme had a few hours’ work to do if he himself were idle, and if ever Crass was working while Slyme was “standing still” the latter went about amongst the other unemployed men saying ugly things about Crass, whom he accused of being a “crawler”. Owen also came in for his share of abuse and blame: most of them said that a man like him should stick out for higher wages whether employed on special work or not, and then he would not get any preference. But all the same, whatever they said about each other behind each other’s backs, they were all most friendly to each other when they met face to face.
There was a lot of jealousy and bad vibes among them about the work. Slyme and Crass were both upset about Sawkins whenever they were slacking off, especially if the latter was painting or whitewashing, and their anger was shared by everyone else who wasn’t working. Harlow swore about it, and they all agreed it was disgraceful for a damn laborer to be doing what should be skilled work for five pence an hour, while properly qualified guys were just “walking around.” The other guys were also mad at Slyme and Crass because the latter got chosen first whenever there was a small job to do, and it was darkly hinted that to get this preference, these two were working for six pence an hour. There was no love between Crass and Slyme either: Crass got furious whenever it turned out that Slyme had a few hours of work while he was idle, and if Crass was working while Slyme was “doing nothing,” Slyme would go around to the other unemployed men saying nasty things about Crass, accusing him of being a “crawler.” Owen also got his share of criticism and blame: most of them said a man like him should push for higher wages whether he was doing special work or not, and then he wouldn’t be favored. But still, no matter what they said about each other behind their backs, they were all very friendly to one another when they met face to face.
Once or twice Owen did some work—such as graining a door or writing a sign—for one or other of his fellow workmen who had managed to secure a little job “on his own”, but putting it all together, the coffin-plates and other work at Rushton’s and all, his earnings had not averaged ten shillings a week for the last six weeks. Often they had no coal and sometimes not even a penny to put into the gas meter, and then, having nothing left good enough to pawn, he sometimes obtained a few pence by selling some of his books to second-hand book dealers. However, bad as their condition was, Owen knew that they were better off than the majority of the others, for whenever he went out he was certain to meet numbers of men whom he had worked with at different times, who said—some of them—that they had been idle for ten, twelve, fifteen and in some cases for twenty weeks without having earned a shilling.
Once or twice, Owen did some work—like painting a door or making a sign—for one of his coworkers who had managed to get a small job “on his own,” but overall, between the coffin plates and other work at Rushton’s, his earnings hadn't averaged ten shillings a week for the last six weeks. Often, they had no coal and sometimes not even a penny to put in the gas meter, and then, with nothing left valuable enough to pawn, he occasionally made a few pence by selling some of his books to second-hand dealers. However, as bad as their situation was, Owen knew they were better off than most others, because whenever he went out, he would always run into many men he had worked with at different times, some of whom said they had been out of work for ten, twelve, fifteen, and in some cases, twenty weeks without earning a single shilling.
Owen used to wonder how they managed to continue to exist. Most of them were wearing other people’s cast-off clothes, hats, and boots, which had in some instances been given to their wives by “visiting ladies”, or by the people at whose houses their wives went to work, charing. As for food, most of them lived on such credit as they could get, and on the scraps of broken victuals and meat that their wives brought home from the places they worked at. Some of them had grown-up sons and daughters who still lived with them and whose earnings kept their homes together, and the wives of some of them eked out a miserable existence by letting lodgings.
Owen used to wonder how they managed to keep going. Most of them were wearing other people's hand-me-down clothes, hats, and boots, which in some cases had been given to their wives by "visiting ladies," or by the people whose homes their wives cleaned. When it came to food, most of them survived on whatever credit they could get, and on the leftovers and scraps of food that their wives brought home from their jobs. Some of them had grown children still living at home, and their earnings helped keep the household afloat, while the wives of some managed to scrape by by renting out rooms.
The week before old Linden went into the workhouse Owen earned nothing, and to make matters worse the grocer from whom they usually bought their things suddenly refused to let them have any more credit. Owen went to see him, and the man said he was very sorry, but he could not let them have anything more without the money; he did not mind waiting a few weeks for what was already owing, but he could not let the amount get any higher; his books were full of bad debts already. In conclusion, he said that he hoped Owen would not do as so many others had done and take his ready money elsewhere. People came and got credit from him when they were hard up, and afterwards spent their ready money at the Monopole Company’s stores on the other side of the street, because their goods were a trifle cheaper, and it was not fair. Owen admitted that it was not fair, but reminded him that they always bought their things at his shop. The grocer, however, was inexorable; he repeated several times that his books were full of bad debts and his own creditors were pressing him. During their conversation the shopkeeper’s eyes wandered continually to the big store on the other side of the street; the huge, gilded letters of the name “Monopole Stores” seemed to have an irresistible attraction for him. Once he interrupted himself in the middle of a sentence to point out to Owen a little girl who was just coming out of the Stores with a small parcel in her hand.
The week before old Linden went into the workhouse, Owen didn’t earn anything, and to make matters worse, the grocer they usually bought from suddenly refused to give them any more credit. Owen went to talk to him, and the man said he was really sorry, but he couldn't allow them to take anything else without cash; he didn’t mind waiting a few weeks for what they already owed, but he couldn’t let that total get any higher since his records were filled with unpaid debts already. In the end, he said he hoped Owen wouldn’t do what so many others had done and take his cash somewhere else. People came to him for credit when they were struggling, only to spend their cash at the Monopole Company’s stores on the other side of the street, because their prices were slightly lower, and that wasn’t fair. Owen agreed it wasn't fair, but reminded him that they always bought their stuff at his shop. However, the grocer was unyielding; he repeated several times that his books were filled with bad debts and his own creditors were pressing him. During their conversation, the shopkeeper's eyes kept drifting to the large store across the street; the big, gold letters spelling “Monopole Stores” seemed to draw him in. At one point, he stopped mid-sentence to point out to Owen a little girl just coming out of the store with a small package in her hand.
“Her father owes me nearly thirty shillings,” he said, “but they spend their ready money there.”
“Her dad owes me almost thirty shillings,” he said, “but they spend their cash there.”
The front of the grocer’s shop badly needed repainting, and the name on the fascia, “A. Smallman”, was so faded as to be almost indecipherable. It had been Owen’s intention to offer to do this work—the cost to go against his account—but the man appeared to be so harassed that Owen refrained from making the suggestion.
The front of the grocery store really needed a fresh coat of paint, and the name on the sign, “A. Smallman,” was so worn down it was almost unreadable. Owen had planned to offer to take care of this work—the expense to be charged to his account—but the guy seemed so overwhelmed that Owen held back from suggesting it.
They still had credit at the baker’s, but they did not take much bread: when one has had scarcely anything else but bread to eat for nearly a month one finds it difficult to eat at all. That same day, when he returned home after his interview with the grocer, they had a loaf of beautiful fresh bread, but none of them could eat it, although they were hungry: it seemed to stick in their throats, and they could not swallow it even with the help of a drink of tea. But they drank the tea, which was the one thing that enabled them to go on living.
They still had credit at the bakery, but they didn't take much bread. When you’ve eaten almost nothing but bread for nearly a month, it's hard to eat at all. That same day, when he got home after his meeting with the grocer, they had a loaf of fresh bread, but none of them could eat it, even though they were hungry. It felt like it was stuck in their throats, and they couldn’t swallow it, even with a sip of tea. But they drank the tea, which was the one thing that helped them keep going.
The next week Owen earned eight shillings altogether: a few hours he put in assisting Crass to wash off and whiten a ceiling and paint a room, and there was one coffin-plate. He wrote the latter at home, and while he was doing it he heard Frankie—who was out in the scullery with Nora—say to her:
The next week, Owen made a total of eight shillings: he spent a few hours helping Crass wash and whiten a ceiling and paint a room, and there was one coffin plate. He wrote the latter at home, and while he was doing it, he heard Frankie—who was out in the scullery with Nora—say to her:
“Mother, how many more days to you think we’ll have to have only dry bread and tea?”
“Mom, how many more days do you think we’ll have to survive on just dry bread and tea?”
Owen’s heart seemed to stop as he heard the child’s question and listened for Nora’s answer, but the question was not to be answered at all just then, for at that moment they heard someone running up the stairs and presently the door was unceremoniously thrown open and Charley Linden rushed into the house, out of breath, hatless, and crying piteously. His clothes were old and ragged; they had been patched at the knees and elbows, but the patches were tearing away from the rotting fabric into which they had been sewn. He had on a pair of black stockings full of holes through which the skin was showing. The soles of his boots were worn through at one side right to the uppers, and as he walked the sides of his bare heels came into contact with the floor, the front part of the sole of one boot was separated from the upper, and his bare toes, red with cold and covered with mud, protruded through the gap. Some sharp substance—a nail or a piece of glass or flint—had evidently lacerated his right foot, for blood was oozing from the broken heel of his boot on to the floor.
Owen's heart seemed to stop when he heard the child's question and listened for Nora's answer, but the question would go unanswered for the moment, because just then they heard someone running up the stairs, and suddenly the door was flung open as Charley Linden burst into the house, out of breath, without a hat, and crying desperately. His clothes were old and tattered; they had been patched at the knees and elbows, but the patches were coming loose from the rotting fabric they were stitched into. He wore a pair of black stockings full of holes that revealed his skin. The soles of his boots were worn through on one side down to the upper part, and as he walked, the sides of his bare heels touched the floor; the front part of one boot's sole had separated from the upper, exposing his bare toes, red from the cold and covered in mud. Some sharp object—a nail, a piece of glass, or flint—had clearly cut into his right foot, as blood was seeping from the broken heel of his boot onto the floor.
They were unable to make much sense of the confused story he told them through his sobs as soon as he was able to speak. All that was clear was that there was something very serious the matter at home: he thought his mother must be either dying or dead, because she did not speak or move or open her eyes, and “please, please, please will you come home with me and see her?”
They couldn't make much sense of the jumbled story he shared through his tears as soon as he could speak. The only thing that was clear was that something very serious was going on at home: he thought his mom might be either dying or dead, because she didn't talk, move, or open her eyes, and "please, please, please will you come home with me and see her?"
While Nora was getting ready to go with the boy, Owen made him sit on a chair, and having removed the boot from the foot that was bleeding, washed the cut with some warm water and bandaged it with a piece of clean rag, and then they tried to persuade him to stay there with Frankie while Nora went to see his mother, but the boy would not hear of it. So Frankie went with them instead. Owen could not go because he had to finish the coffin-plate, which was only just commenced.
While Nora was getting ready to leave with the boy, Owen made him sit in a chair, removed the boot from his bleeding foot, cleaned the cut with some warm water, and bandaged it with a piece of clean cloth. They then tried to convince him to stay with Frankie while Nora went to see his mother, but the boy refused to agree. So Frankie went with them instead. Owen couldn't go because he had to finish the coffin plate, which he had just started working on.
It will be remembered that we left Mary Linden alone in the house after she returned from seeing the old people away. When the children came home from school, about half an hour afterwards, they found her sitting in one of the chairs with her head resting on her arms on the table, unconscious. They were terrified, because they could not awaken her and began to cry, but presently Charley thought of Frankie’s mother and, telling his sister to stay there while he was gone, he started off at a run for Owen’s house, leaving the front door wide open after him.
It will be remembered that we left Mary Linden alone in the house after she returned from seeing the old folks off. When the kids came home from school about half an hour later, they found her sitting in one of the chairs with her head resting on her arms on the table, unconscious. They were terrified because they couldn't wake her up and started to cry, but eventually Charley thought of Frankie’s mom and told his sister to stay there while he ran off to Owen’s house, leaving the front door wide open behind him.
When Nora and the two boys reached the house they found there two other women neighbours, who had heard Elsie crying and had come to see what was wrong. Mary had recovered from her faint and was lying down on the bed. Nora stayed with her for some time after the other women went away. She lit the fire and gave the children their tea—there was still some coal and food left of what had been bought with the three shillings obtained from the Board of Guardians—and afterwards she tidied the house.
When Nora and the two boys got to the house, they found two other neighbor women there who had heard Elsie crying and came to see what was going on. Mary had come to after her faint and was lying on the bed. Nora stayed with her for a while after the other women left. She lit the fire and made tea for the kids—there was still some coal and food left from what had been bought with the three shillings they got from the Board of Guardians—and then she cleaned up the house.
Mary said that she did not know exactly what she would have to do in the future. If she could get a room somewhere for two or three shillings a week, her allowance from the Guardians would pay the rent, and she would be able to earn enough for herself and the children to live on.
Mary said she didn't know exactly what she would have to do in the future. If she could find a room somewhere for two or three shillings a week, her allowance from the Guardians would cover the rent, and she would be able to earn enough for herself and the kids to live on.
This was the substance of the story that Nora told Owen when she returned home. He had finished writing the coffin-plate, and as it was now nearly dry he put on his coat and took it down to the carpenter’s shop at the yard.
This was the essence of the story that Nora shared with Owen when she got home. He had finished writing the inscription for the coffin plate, and since it was almost dry, he put on his coat and took it down to the carpenter’s shop in the yard.
On his way back he met Easton, who had been hanging about in the vain hope of seeing Hunter and finding out if there was any chance of a job. As they walked along together, Easton confided to Owen that he had earned scarcely anything since he had been stood off at Rushton’s, and what he had earned had gone, as usual, to pay the rent. Slyme had left them some time ago. Ruth did not seem able to get on with him; she had been in a funny sort of temper altogether, but since he had gone she had had a little work at a boarding-house on the Grand Parade. But things had been going from bad to worse. They had not been able to keep up the payments for the furniture they had hired, so the things had been seized and carted off. They had even stripped the oilcloth from the floor. Easton remarked he was sorry he had not tacked the bloody stuff down in such a manner that they would not have been able to take it up without destroying it. He had been to see Didlum, who said he didn’t want to be hard on them, and that he would keep the things together for three months, and if Easton had paid up arrears by that time he could have them back again, but there was, in Easton’s opinion, very little chance of that.
On his way back, he ran into Easton, who had been lingering around in the hope of seeing Hunter and figuring out if there was any possibility of a job. As they walked together, Easton opened up to Owen about how he hadn’t made much money since being laid off at Rushton’s, and what little he had earned went, as always, to cover the rent. Slyme had left them some time ago. Ruth seemed to struggle getting along with him; she had been in a weird mood overall, but since he left, she had managed to get a bit of work at a boarding house on the Grand Parade. But things had only gotten worse. They hadn’t been able to keep up with the payments for the furniture they had rented, so it had been seized and taken away. They even stripped the oilcloth off the floor. Easton mentioned he regretted not securing the damn stuff down well enough that it couldn’t be lifted without ruining it. He had visited Didlum, who said he didn’t want to be too harsh on them and that he would keep their belongings for three months. If Easton managed to pay the back rent by then, he could get them back, but in Easton’s opinion, there was very little chance of that.
Owen listened with contempt and anger. Here was a man who grumbled at the present state of things, yet took no trouble to think for himself and try to alter them, and who at the first chance would vote for the perpetuation of the System which produced his misery.
Owen listened with disdain and anger. Here was a guy who complained about the current state of things but didn't bother to think for himself or try to change them, and who at the first opportunity would vote to keep the System that caused his suffering.
“Have you heard that old Jack Linden and his wife went to the workhouse today,” he said.
“Have you heard that old Jack Linden and his wife went to the workhouse today?” he said.
“No,” replied Easton, indifferently. “It’s only what I expected.”
“No,” Easton replied, unfazed. “It’s exactly what I expected.”
Owen then suggested it would not be a bad plan for Easton to let his front room, now that it was empty, to Mrs Linden, who would be sure to pay her rent, which would help Easton to pay his. Easton agreed and said he would mention it to Ruth, and a few minutes later they parted.
Owen then suggested it wouldn’t be a bad idea for Easton to rent out his front room, now that it was empty, to Mrs. Linden, who would definitely pay her rent, which would help Easton cover his own. Easton agreed and said he would bring it up to Ruth, and a few minutes later they said their goodbyes.
The next morning Nora found Ruth talking to Mary Linden about the room and as the Eastons lived only about five minutes’ walk away, they all three went round there in order that Mary might see the room. The appearance of the house from outside was unaltered: the white lace curtains still draped the windows of the front room; and in the centre of the bay was what appeared to be a small round table covered with a red cloth, and upon it a geranium in a flowerpot standing in a saucer with a frill of coloured tissue paper round it. These things and the curtains, which fell close together, made it impossible for anyone to see that the room was, otherwise, unfurnished. The “table” consisted of an empty wooden box—procured from the grocer’s—stood on end, with the lid of the scullery copper placed upside down upon it for a top and covered with an old piece of red cloth. The purpose of this was to prevent the neighbours from thinking that they were hard up; although they knew that nearly all those same neighbours were in more or less similar straits.
The next morning, Nora found Ruth talking to Mary Linden about the room, and since the Eastons lived only about a five-minute walk away, the three of them went over so Mary could see it. The house looked the same from the outside: the white lace curtains still hung in the front room windows, and in the center of the bay, there was what looked like a small round table covered with a red cloth, with a geranium in a flowerpot sitting on a saucer wrapped in colorful tissue paper. These items and the closely drawn curtains made it impossible to see that the room was otherwise unfurnished. The “table” was actually an empty wooden box borrowed from the grocer that was placed on end, with the lid of the scullery copper upside down on top, covered with an old piece of red cloth. This was meant to keep the neighbors from thinking they were struggling financially, even though they knew that nearly all of those same neighbors were in similar situations.
It was not a very large room, considering that it would have to serve all purposes for herself and the two children, but Mrs Linden knew that it was not likely that she would be able to get one as good elsewhere for the same price, so she agreed to take it from the following Monday at two shillings a week.
It wasn't a very big room, especially since it needed to work for her and her two kids, but Mrs. Linden realized she probably couldn't find one as nice anywhere else for the same price, so she decided to take it starting the following Monday for two shillings a week.
As the distance was so short they were able to carry most of the smaller things to their new home during the next few days, and on the Monday evening, when it was dark. Owen and Easton brought the remainder on a truck they borrowed for the purpose from Hunter.
As the distance was so short, they were able to carry most of the smaller items to their new home over the next few days, and on Monday evening, when it was dark, Owen and Easton brought the rest on a truck they borrowed for this purpose from Hunter.
During the last weeks of February the severity of the weather increased. There was a heavy fall of snow on the 20th followed by a hard frost which lasted several days.
During the last weeks of February, the weather got harsher. There was a heavy snowfall on the 20th, followed by a hard freeze that lasted for several days.
About ten o’clock one night a policeman found a man lying unconscious in the middle of a lonely road. At first he thought the man was drunk, and after dragging him on to the footpath out of the way of passing vehicles he went for the stretcher. They took the man to the station and put him into a cell, which was already occupied by a man who had been caught in the act of stealing a swede turnip from a barn. When the police surgeon came he pronounced the supposed drunken man to be dying from bronchitis and want of food; and he further said that there was nothing to indicate that the man was addicted to drink. When the inquest was held a few days afterwards, the coroner remarked that it was the third case of death from destitution that had occurred in the town within six weeks.
About ten o’clock one night, a police officer found a man lying unconscious in the middle of a deserted road. At first, he thought the man was just drunk, so after dragging him onto the sidewalk to get him
The evidence showed that the man was a plasterer who had walked from London with the hope of finding work somewhere in the country. He had no money in his possession when he was found by the policeman; all that his pockets contained being several pawn-tickets and a letter from his wife, which was not found until after he died, because it was in an inner pocket of his waistcoat. A few days before this inquest was held, the man who had been arrested for stealing the turnip had been taken before the magistrates. The poor wretch said he did it because he was starving, but Aldermen Sweater and Grinder, after telling him that starvation was no excuse for dishonesty, sentenced him to pay a fine of seven shillings and costs, or go to prison for seven days with hard labour. As the convict had neither money nor friends, he had to go to jail, where he was, after all, better off than most of those who were still outside because they lacked either the courage or the opportunity to steal something to relieve their sufferings.
The evidence revealed that the man was a plasterer who had traveled from London, hoping to find work somewhere in the countryside. He had no money on him when the police officer found him; his pockets only held a few pawn tickets and a letter from his wife, which wasn't discovered until after he passed away because it was tucked in an inner pocket of his waistcoat. A few days before this inquest took place, the man who was arrested for stealing the turnip had been brought before the magistrates. The poor guy claimed he did it because he was starving, but Aldermen Sweater and Grinder, after telling him that starvation wasn’t an excuse for dishonesty, sentenced him to pay a fine of seven shillings and costs, or serve seven days in prison with hard labor. Since the convict had neither money nor friends, he had to go to jail, where, in the end, he was better off than many who were still outside, lacking either the courage or the opportunity to steal something to ease their suffering.
As time went on the long-continued privation began to tell upon Owen and his family. He had a severe cough: his eyes became deeply sunken and of remarkable brilliancy, and his thin face was always either deathly pale or dyed with a crimson flush.
As time passed, the prolonged hardship began to affect Owen and his family. He developed a severe cough; his eyes became deeply sunken yet remarkably bright, and his thin face was constantly either deathly pale or flushed with a crimson hue.
Frankie also began to show the effects of being obliged to go so often without his porridge and milk; he became very pale and thin and his long hair came out in handfuls when his mother combed or brushed it. This was a great trouble to the boy, who, since hearing the story of Samson read out of the Bible at school, had ceased from asking to have his hair cut short, lest he should lose his strength in consequence. He used to test himself by going through a certain exercise he had himself invented, with a flat iron, and he was always much relieved when he found that, notwithstanding the loss of the porridge, he was still able to lift the iron the proper number of times. But after a while, as he found that it became increasingly difficult to go through the exercise, he gave it up altogether, secretly resolving to wait until “Dad” had more work to do, so that he could have the porridge and milk again. He was sorry to have to discontinue the exercise, but he said nothing about it to his father or mother because he did not want to “worry” them...
Frankie also started to show the effects of having to go without his porridge and milk so often; he became very pale and thin, and his long hair came out in clumps when his mom combed or brushed it. This was a big source of anxiety for the boy, who, after hearing the story of Samson read in the Bible at school, had stopped asking to have his hair cut short, afraid he might lose his strength. He used to test himself with an exercise he’d invented using a flat iron, and he always felt relieved when he found that, despite missing his porridge, he could still lift the iron the right number of times. But after a while, as he noticed that it was getting harder to do the exercise, he completely gave it up, secretly deciding to wait until “Dad” had more work to do, so he could have porridge and milk again. He was sad to stop the exercise, but he didn’t mention it to his dad or mom because he didn’t want to “worry” them...
Sometimes Nora managed to get a small job of needlework. On one occasion a woman with a small son brought a parcel of garments belonging to herself or her husband, an old ulster, several coats, and so on—things that although they were too old-fashioned or shabby to wear, yet might look all right if turned and made up for the boy.
Sometimes Nora was able to get a little needlework job. One time, a woman with a young son brought a bundle of clothes that belonged to either her or her husband—an old overcoat, several jackets, and so on—things that, while too outdated or worn to wear, could still look decent if they were turned inside out and tailored for the boy.
Nora undertook to do this, and after working several hours every day for a week she earned four shillings: and even then the woman thought it was so dear that she did not bring any more.
Nora decided to do this, and after working several hours every day for a week, she earned four shillings. Even then, the woman thought it was too expensive, so she didn't buy any more.
Another time Mrs Easton got her some work at a boarding-house where she herself was employed. The servant was laid up, and they wanted some help for a few days. The pay was to be two shillings a day, and dinner. Owen did not want her to go because he feared she was not strong enough to do the work, but he gave way at last and Nora went. She had to do the bedrooms, and on the evening of the second day, as a result of the constant running up and down the stairs carrying heavy cans and pails of water, she was in such intense pain that she was scarcely able to walk home, and for several days afterwards had to lie in bed through a recurrence of her old illness, which caused her to suffer untold agony whenever she tried to stand.
Another time, Mrs. Easton got her a job at a boarding house where she worked. The regular servant was out sick, and they needed help for a few days. The pay was two shillings a day, plus dinner. Owen didn’t want her to go because he worried she wasn’t strong enough for the job, but he eventually gave in, and Nora went. She had to clean the bedrooms, and on the second evening, after constantly running up and down the stairs with heavy cans and buckets of water, she was in such severe pain that she could barely walk home. For several days afterward, she had to stay in bed due to a flare-up of her old illness, which caused her excruciating pain whenever she tried to stand.
Owen was alternately dejected and maddened by the knowledge of his own helplessness: when he was not doing anything for Rushton he went about the town trying to find some other work, but usually with scant success. He did some samples of showcard and window tickets and endeavoured to get some orders by canvassing the shops in the town, but this was also a failure, for these people generally had a ticket-writer to whom they usually gave their work. He did get a few trifling orders, but they were scarcely worth doing at the price he got for them. He used to feel like a criminal when he went into the shops to ask them for the work, because he realized fully that, in effect, he was saying to them: “Take your work away from the other man, and employ me.” He was so conscious of this that it gave him a shamefaced manner, which, coupled as it was with his shabby clothing, did not create a very favourable impression upon those he addressed, who usually treated him with about as much courtesy as they would have extended to any other sort of beggar. Generally, after a day’s canvassing, he returned home unsuccessful and faint with hunger and fatigue.
Owen was often feeling down and frustrated by his own powerlessness: when he wasn’t working for Rushton, he wandered around town looking for other jobs, but usually had little luck. He created some sample showcards and window tickets and tried to get orders by visiting local shops, but this also failed, as most of these shops already had a ticket-writer they relied on for their work. He managed to get a few small orders, but they weren’t worth the effort given the low pay. He felt guilty every time he approached shops to ask for work because he understood that he was really saying, “Take your business away from the other guy and give it to me.” This awareness made him act shamefully, and combined with his worn-out clothes, it didn’t leave a good impression on those he approached, who usually treated him with the same respect they would show to any other sort of beggar. Typically, after a day of searching, he came home empty-handed and weak from hunger and exhaustion.
Once, when there was a bitterly cold east wind blowing, he was out on one of these canvassing expeditions and contracted a severe cold: his chest became so bad that he found it almost impossible to speak, because the effort to do so often brought on a violent fit of coughing. It was during this time that a firm of drapers, for whom he had done some showcards, sent him an order for one they wanted in a hurry, it had to be delivered the next morning, so he stayed up by himself till nearly midnight to do it. As he worked, he felt a strange sensation in his chest: it was not exactly a pain, and he would have found it difficult to describe it in words—it was just a sensation. He did not attach much importance to it, thinking it an effect of the cold he had taken, but whatever it was he could not help feeling conscious of it all the time.
Once, when a bitterly cold east wind was blowing, he was out on one of those canvassing trips and caught a bad cold: his chest got so bad that he found it nearly impossible to speak because even trying to talk often triggered a violent coughing fit. During this time, a drapery company, for whom he had done some showcards, sent him an urgent order for one that needed to be delivered the next morning, so he stayed up alone until nearly midnight to finish it. As he worked, he felt a strange sensation in his chest: it wasn’t exactly pain, and he would have had a hard time describing it in words—it was just a feeling. He didn’t think much of it, assuming it was just a result of the cold he had caught, but whatever it was, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being aware of it all the time.
Frankie had been put to bed that evening at the customary hour, but did not seem to be sleeping as well as usual. Owen could hear him twisting and turning about and uttering little cries in his sleep.
Frankie had been put to bed that evening at the usual time, but he didn't seem to be sleeping as well as normal. Owen could hear him tossing and turning and making small cries in his sleep.
He left his work several times to go into the boy’s room and cover him with the bedclothes which his restless movements had disordered. As the time wore on, the child became more tranquil, and about eleven o’clock, when Owen went in to look at him, he found him in a deep sleep, lying on his side with his head thrown back on the pillow, breathing so softly through his slightly parted lips that the sound was almost imperceptible. The fair hair that clustered round his forehead was damp with perspiration, and he was so still and pale and silent that one might have thought he was sleeping the sleep that knows no awakening.
He stepped away from his work several times to check on the boy in his room, tucking him back under the bedcovers that his restless movements had kicked off. As time passed, the child became calmer, and around eleven o’clock, when Owen went in to check on him, he found him fast asleep, lying on his side with his head tilted back on the pillow, breathing so softly through his slightly parted lips that it was almost silent. The blond hair that framed his forehead was damp with sweat, and he lay so still, pale, and quiet that one might have thought he was in a sleep from which he would never wake.
About an hour later, when he had finished writing the showcard, Owen went out into the scullery to wash his hands before going to bed: and whilst he was drying them on the towel, the strange sensation he had been conscious of all the evening became more intense, and a few seconds afterwards he was terrified to find his mouth suddenly filled with blood.
About an hour later, after he finished writing the showcard, Owen went into the scullery to wash his hands before heading to bed. While he was drying them on the towel, the strange feeling he had experienced all evening grew stronger, and a few seconds later, he was horrified to discover that his mouth was suddenly filled with blood.
For what seemed an eternity he fought for breath against the suffocating torrent, and when at length it stopped, he sank trembling into a chair by the side of the table, holding the towel to his mouth and scarcely daring to breathe, whilst a cold sweat streamed from every pore and gathered in large drops upon his forehead.
For what felt like forever, he struggled to breathe against the overwhelming flood, and when it finally ceased, he collapsed, shaking, into a chair next to the table, pressing the towel to his mouth and barely daring to breathe, while a cold sweat poured from every pore and gathered in big drops on his forehead.
Through the deathlike silence of the night there came from time to time the chimes of the clock of a distant church, but he continued to sit there motionless, taking no heed of the passing hours, and possessed with an awful terror.
Through the eerie silence of the night, the distant church clock chimed occasionally, but he sat there still, ignoring the passing hours, gripped by a deep terror.
So this was the beginning of the end! And afterwards the other two would be left by themselves at the mercy of the world. In a few years’ time the boy would be like Bert White, in the clutches of some psalm-singing devil like Hunter or Rushton, who would use him as if he were a beast of burden. He imagined he could see him now as he would be then: worked, driven, and bullied, carrying loads, dragging carts, and running here and there, trying his best to satisfy the brutal tyrants, whose only thought would be to get profit out of him for themselves. If he lived, it would be to grow up with his body deformed and dwarfed by unnatural labour and with his mind stultified, degraded and brutalized by ignorance and poverty. As this vision of the child’s future rose before him, Owen resolved that it should never be! He would not leave them alone and defenceless in the midst of the “Christian” wolves who were waiting to rend them as soon as he was gone. If he could not give them happiness, he could at least put them out of the reach of further suffering. If he could not stay with them, they would have to come with him. It would be kinder and more merciful.
So this was the beginning of the end! After this, the other two would be left alone to face the world. In a few years, the boy would be like Bert White, trapped by some psalm-singing devil like Hunter or Rushton, who would treat him like a beast of burden. He imagined he could see him now as he would be then: worked to the bone, pushed around, and bullied, carrying heavy loads, dragging carts, and running back and forth, doing his best to please the cruel tyrants, whose only concern would be getting whatever they could out of him for themselves. If he survived, it would be to grow up with a body distorted and stunted by unnatural labor, and a mind dulled, degraded, and brutalized by ignorance and poverty. As this bleak vision of the child’s future filled his mind, Owen vowed that it would never happen! He wouldn’t abandon them, defenseless in the midst of the “Christian” wolves eagerly waiting to tear them apart as soon as he was gone. If he couldn’t give them happiness, he could at least spare them from further suffering. If he couldn’t stay with them, they would have to come with him. It would be kinder and more compassionate.
Chapter 35
Facing the “Problem”
Nearly every other firm in the town was in much the same plight as Rushton & Co.; none of them had anything to speak of to do, and the workmen no longer troubled to go to the different shops asking for a job. They knew it was of no use. Most of them just walked about aimlessly or stood talking in groups in the streets, principally in the neighbourhood of the Wage Slave Market near the fountain on the Grand Parade. They congregated here in such numbers that one or two residents wrote to the local papers complaining of the “nuisance”, and pointing out that it was calculated to drive the “better-class” visitors out of the town. After this two or three extra policemen were put on duty near the fountain with instructions to “move on” any groups of unemployed that formed. They could not stop them from coming there, but they prevented them standing about.
Almost every other company in town was in the same situation as Rushton & Co.; none of them had any work available, and the workers had stopped bothering to go to different shops looking for jobs. They realized it was pointless. Most of them just wandered around aimlessly or stood in groups chatting on the streets, mainly around the Wage Slave Market near the fountain on the Grand Parade. They gathered in such large numbers that a couple of residents wrote to the local newspapers complaining about the “nuisance,” claiming it was likely to drive away the “better-class” visitors from the town. After that, two or three extra police officers were assigned near the fountain with orders to “move on” any groups of unemployed people that formed. They couldn’t stop them from coming there, but they could prevent them from loitering.
The processions of unemployed continued every day, and the money they begged from the public was divided equally amongst those who took part. Sometimes it amounted to one and sixpence each, sometimes it was a little more and sometimes a little less. These men presented a terrible spectacle as they slunk through the dreary streets, through the rain or the snow, with the slush soaking into their broken boots, and, worse still, with the bitterly cold east wind penetrating their rotten clothing and freezing their famished bodies.
The daily marches of the unemployed persisted, and the money they collected from the public was shared equally among the participants. At times, it came to one shilling and sixpence each, at other times a bit more or a bit less. These men presented a grim sight as they trudged through the bleak streets, in the rain or snow, with the slush soaking into their worn-out boots, and, even worse, with the biting cold east wind cutting through their tattered clothes and chilling their starving bodies.
The majority of the skilled workers still held aloof from these processions, although their haggard faces bore involuntary testimony to their sufferings. Although privation reigned supreme in their desolate homes, where there was often neither food nor light nor fire, they were too “proud” to parade their misery before each other or the world. They secretly sold or pawned their clothing and their furniture and lived in semi-starvation on the proceeds, and on credit, but they would not beg. Many of them even echoed the sentiments of those who had written to the papers, and with a strange lack of class-sympathy blamed those who took part in the processions. They said it was that sort of thing that drove the “better class” away, injured the town, and caused all the poverty and unemployment. However, some of them accepted charity in other ways; district visitors distributed tickets for coal and groceries. Not that that sort of thing made much difference; there was usually a great deal of fuss and advice, many quotations of Scripture, and very little groceries. And even what there was generally went to the least-deserving people, because the only way to obtain any of this sort of “charity” is by hypocritically pretending to be religious: and the greater the hypocrite, the greater the quantity of coal and groceries. These “charitable” people went into the wretched homes of the poor and—in effect—said: “Abandon every particle of self-respect: cringe and fawn: come to church: bow down and grovel to us, and in return we’ll give you a ticket that you can take to a certain shop and exchange for a shillingsworth of groceries. And, if you’re very servile and humble we may give you another one next week.”
The majority of skilled workers still stayed away from these parades, even though their worn faces showed their struggles. Although they faced extreme hardship in their empty homes, often lacking food, light, or heat, they were too “proud” to show their pain to one another or to the world. They secretly sold or pawned their clothes and furniture, surviving on the little money they got and on credit, but they refused to beg. Many of them even echoed the views of those who wrote to the newspapers, blaming the participants in the parades for driving away the “better class,” hurting the town, and causing the poverty and unemployment. However, some accepted help in other forms; community volunteers handed out tickets for coal and groceries. Yet that kind of help didn’t make much difference; there was usually a lot of fuss and advice, many quotes from the Bible, and very few groceries. And even what little there was typically went to the least deserving people, because the only way to get this kind of “charity” was by pretending to be religious: the bigger the hypocrite, the more coal and groceries they received. These “charitable” folks went into the miserable homes of the poor and essentially said: “Give up every bit of self-respect: bow and scrape: come to church: kneel and grovel to us, and in return, we’ll give you a ticket to exchange for a small amount of groceries. And, if you’re very submissive and humble, we might give you another one next week.”
They never gave the “case” the money. The ticket system serves three purposes. It prevents the “case” abusing the “charity” by spending the money on drink. It advertises the benevolence of the donors: and it enables the grocer—who is usually a member of the church—to get rid of any stale or damaged stock he may have on hand.
They never gave the “case” the money. The ticket system serves three purposes. It stops the “case” from misusing the “charity” by spending the money on alcohol. It promotes the generosity of the donors; and it allows the grocer—who is usually a church member—to clear out any stale or damaged goods he may have in stock.
When these visiting ladies went into a workman’s house and found it clean and decently furnished, and the children clean and tidy, they came to the conclusion that those people were not suitable “cases” for assistance. Perhaps the children had had next to nothing to eat, and would have been in rags if the mother had not worked like a slave washing and mending their clothes. But these were not the sort of cases that the visiting ladies assisted; they only gave to those who were in a state of absolute squalor and destitution, and then only on condition that they whined and grovelled.
When these visiting ladies entered a worker's home and saw it was clean and nicely furnished, with the children neat and tidy, they decided that those people weren't the right "cases" for help. Maybe the kids had barely eaten and would have been in rags if the mother hadn't worked tirelessly to wash and repair their clothes. But those weren't the kinds of cases the visiting ladies helped; they only offered support to those living in complete squalor and poverty, and even then only if they complained and begged.
In addition to this district visitor business, the well-to-do inhabitants and the local authorities attempted—or rather, pretended—to grapple with the poverty “problem” in many other ways, and the columns of the local papers were filled with letters from all sorts of cranks who suggested various remedies. One individual, whose income was derived from brewery shares, attributed the prevailing distress to the drunken and improvident habits of the lower orders. Another suggested that it was a Divine protest against the growth of Ritualism and what he called “fleshly religion”, and suggested a day of humiliation and prayer. A great number of well-fed persons thought this such an excellent proposition that they proceeded to put it into practice. They prayed, whilst the unemployed and the little children fasted.
In addition to the business from district visitors, the wealthy residents and local authorities tried—or at least pretended—to tackle the poverty "problem" in many other ways, and the local newspapers were filled with letters from all kinds of oddballs suggesting various solutions. One person, whose income came from brewery stocks, claimed that the widespread suffering was due to the drinking and careless habits of the lower classes. Another argued that it was a Divine protest against the rise of Ritualism and what he called "fleshly religion," proposing a day of humiliation and prayer. A large number of well-fed individuals thought this was such a great idea that they went ahead and did it. They prayed, while the unemployed and young children went without food.
If one had not been oppressed by the tragedy of Want and Misery, one might have laughed at the farcical, imbecile measures that were taken to relieve it. Several churches held what they called “Rummage” or “Jumble” sales. They sent out circulars something like this:
If someone hadn’t been weighed down by the tragedy of Need and Suffering, they might have laughed at the ridiculous, foolish actions taken to address it. Several churches organized what they referred to as “Rummage” or “Jumble” sales. They sent out circulars that looked something like this:
JUMBLE SALE
in aid of the Unemployed.
Yard Sale
to support the Unemployed.
If you have any articles of any description which are of no further use to you, we should be grateful for them, and if you will kindly fill in annexed form and post it to us, we will send and collect them.
If you have any items that you no longer need, we would really appreciate them. Please fill out the attached form and send it back to us, and we will arrange to collect them.
On the day of the sale the parish room was transformed into a kind of Marine Stores, filled with all manner of rubbish, with the parson and the visiting ladies grinning in the midst. The things were sold for next to nothing to such as cared to buy them, and the local rag-and-bone man reaped a fine harvest. The proceeds of these sales were distributed in “charity” and it was usually a case of much cry and little wool.
On the day of the sale, the parish room turned into a sort of thrift store, crammed with all kinds of junk, with the pastor and the visiting ladies smiling among it all. The items were sold for next to nothing to anyone interested in buying them, and the local scrap dealer had a great day. The money from these sales was given to “charity,” but it often meant a lot of noise and not much impact.
There was a religious organization, called “The Mugsborough Skull and Crossbones Boys”, which existed for the purpose of perpetuating the great religious festival of Guy Fawkes. This association also came to the aid of the unemployed and organized a Grand Fancy Dress Carnival and Torchlight Procession. When this took place, although there was a slight sprinkling of individuals dressed in tawdry costumes as cavaliers of the time of Charles I, and a few more as highwaymen or footpads, the majority of the processionists were boys in women’s clothes, or wearing sacks with holes cut in them for their heads and arms, and with their faces smeared with soot. There were also a number of men carrying frying-pans in which they burnt red and blue fire. The procession—or rather, mob—was headed by a band, and the band was headed by two men, arm in arm, one very tall, dressed to represent Satan, in red tights, with horns on his head, and smoking a large cigar, and the other attired in the no less picturesque costume of a bishop of the Established Church.
There was a religious group called “The Mugsborough Skull and Crossbones Boys,” which aimed to keep alive the great religious celebration of Guy Fawkes. This organization also helped the unemployed and organized a Grand Fancy Dress Carnival and Torchlight Procession. During this event, although there were a few people dressed in flashy costumes as cavaliers from the time of Charles I, and a handful as highwaymen, most of the participants were boys in women’s clothes or wearing sacks with holes cut out for their heads and arms, their faces smeared with soot. There were also several men carrying frying pans in which they burned red and blue fire. The procession—or rather, crowd—was led by a band, and at the front of the band were two men, arm in arm: one very tall, dressed to look like Satan in red tights, with horns on his head and smoking a large cigar, and the other wearing the equally eye-catching outfit of a bishop from the Established Church.
This crew paraded the town, howling and dancing, carrying flaring torches, burning the blue and red fire, and some of them singing silly or obscene songs; whilst the collectors ran about with the boxes begging for money from people who were in most cases nearly as poverty-stricken as the unemployed they were asked to assist. The money thus obtained was afterwards handed over to the Secretary of the Organized Benevolence Society, Mr Sawney Grinder.
This group marched through the town, shouting and dancing, holding bright torches, creating blue and red flames, and some of them singing silly or inappropriate songs. Meanwhile, the fundraisers ran around with boxes asking for donations from people who were often just as broke as the unemployed they were trying to help. The money collected was later given to the Secretary of the Organized Benevolence Society, Mr. Sawney Grinder.
Then there was the Soup Kitchen, which was really an inferior eating-house in a mean street. The man who ran this was a relative of the secretary of the OBS. He cadged all the ingredients for the soup from different tradespeople: bones and scraps of meat from butchers: pea meal and split peas from provision dealers: vegetables from greengrocers: stale bread from bakers, and so on. Well-intentioned, charitable old women with more money than sense sent him donations in cash, and he sold the soup for a penny a basin—or a penny a quart to those who brought jugs.
Then there was the Soup Kitchen, which was basically a rundown eatery on a shabby street. The guy who ran it was a relative of the OBS secretary. He begged for all the ingredients for the soup from different local businesses: bones and leftover meat from butchers, pea meal and split peas from grocery stores, vegetables from greengrocers, stale bread from bakers, and so on. Well-meaning, charitable older women who had more money than common sense sent him cash donations, and he sold the soup for a penny a bowl—or a penny a quart for those who brought their own jugs.
He had a large number of shilling books printed, each containing thirteen penny tickets. The Organized Benevolence Society bought a lot of these books and resold them to benevolent persons, or gave them away to “deserving cases”. It was this connection with the OBS that gave the Soup Kitchen a semi-official character in the estimation of the public, and furnished the proprietor with the excuse for cadging the materials and money donations.
He had a lot of shilling books printed, each containing thirteen penny tickets. The Organized Benevolence Society bought many of these books and resold them to charitable people or gave them away to “deserving cases.” It was this link with the OBS that gave the Soup Kitchen a semi-official status in the public's eyes and provided the owner with a reason to ask for supplies and monetary donations.
In the case of the Soup Kitchen, as with the unemployed processions, most of those who benefited were unskilled labourers or derelicts: with but few exceptions the unemployed artisans—although their need was just as great as that of the others—avoided the place as if it were infected with the plague. They were afraid even to pass through the street where it was situated lest anyone seeing them coming from that direction should think they had been there. But all the same, some of them allowed their children to go there by stealth, by night, to buy some of this charity-tainted food.
In the case of the Soup Kitchen, just like with the jobless protests, most of the people who benefited were unskilled workers or drifters. With only a few exceptions, the unemployed skilled workers—who needed help just as much as everyone else—steered clear of the place as if it were contagious. They were even afraid to walk through the street where it was located, worried that anyone seeing them come from that direction would think they had visited. Still, some of them let their kids sneak over there at night to get some of that charity-laden food.
Another brilliant scheme, practical and statesmanlike, so different from the wild projects of demented Socialists, was started by the Rev. Mr Bosher, a popular preacher, the Vicar of the fashionable Church of the Whited Sepulchre. He collected some subscriptions from a number of semi-imbecile old women who attended his church. With some of this money he bought a quantity of timber and opened what he called a Labour Yard, where he employed a number of men sawing firewood. Being a clergyman, and because he said he wanted it for a charitable purpose, of course he obtained the timber very cheaply—for about half what anyone else would have had to pay for it.
Another clever plan, practical and statesmanlike, so different from the crazy ideas of misguided Socialists, was launched by Rev. Mr. Bosher, a well-liked preacher and the Vicar of the stylish Church of the Whited Sepulchre. He gathered some donations from a group of somewhat clueless older women who attended his church. With some of this money, he bought a load of timber and opened what he called a Labour Yard, where he hired a number of men to saw firewood. Being a clergyman, and because he claimed he wanted it for a charitable purpose, he was able to get the timber at a very low price—around half of what anyone else would have had to pay for it.
The wood-sawing was done piecework. A log of wood about the size of a railway sleeper had to be sawn into twelve pieces, and each of these had to be chopped into four. For sawing and chopping one log in this manner the worker was paid ninepence. One log made two bags of firewood, which were sold for a shilling each—a trifle under the usual price. The men who delivered the bags were paid three half-pence for each two bags.
The wood cutting was done on a piecework basis. A log of wood roughly the size of a railway sleeper had to be cut into twelve pieces, and each of these had to be chopped into four. For cutting and chopping one log like this, the worker earned nine pence. One log resulted in two bags of firewood, which were sold for a shilling each—a bit below the usual price. The guys who delivered the bags were paid three half-pence for every two bags.
As there were such a lot of men wanting to do this work, no one was allowed to do more than three lots in one day—that came to two shillings and threepence—and no one was allowed to do more than two days in one week.
As there were so many men wanting to do this work, no one was allowed to do more than three lots in one day—that came to two shillings and threepence—and no one was allowed to work more than two days in one week.
The Vicar had a number of bills printed and displayed in shop windows calling attention to what he was doing, and informing the public that orders could be sent to the Vicarage by post and would receive prompt attention and the fuel could be delivered at any address—Messrs Rushton & Co. having very kindly lent a handcart for the use of the men employed at the Labour Yard.
The Vicar had several bills printed and put up in shop windows to let people know what he was doing. They informed the public that orders could be sent to the Vicarage by mail and would be taken care of quickly. The fuel could be delivered to any address, as Messrs Rushton & Co. had generously provided a handcart for the workers at the Labour Yard.
As a result of the appearance of this bill, and of the laudatory notices in the columns of the Ananias, the Obscurer, and the Chloroform—the papers did not mind giving the business a free advertisement, because it was a charitable concern—many persons withdrew their custom from those who usually supplied them with firewood, and gave their orders to the Yard; and they had the satisfaction of getting their fuel cheaper than before and of performing a charitable action at the same time.
As a result of this bill coming out, and the positive coverage in the Ananias, the Obscurer, and the Chloroform—since these papers didn't mind giving the business free advertising because it was for a good cause—many people stopped buying firewood from their usual suppliers and instead ordered from the Yard; they were happy to get their fuel at a lower price while also doing something charitable at the same time.
As a remedy for unemployment this scheme was on a par with the method of the tailor in the fable who thought to lengthen his cloth by cutting a piece off one end and sewing it on to the other; but there was one thing about it that recommended it to the Vicar—it was self-supporting. He found that there would be no need to use all the money he had extracted from the semi-imbecile old ladies for timber, so he bought himself a Newfoundland dog, an antique set of carved ivory chessmen, and a dozen bottles of whisky with the remainder of the cash.
As a solution for unemployment, this plan was just as ridiculous as the tailor in the fable who thought he could make his cloth longer by cutting a piece from one end and sewing it onto the other. However, there was one aspect of it that appealed to the Vicar—it was self-sustaining. He realized that he wouldn't have to spend all the money he had gotten from the somewhat naïve old ladies on timber, so he treated himself to a Newfoundland dog, a vintage set of carved ivory chess pieces, and a dozen bottles of whiskey with the leftover cash.
The reverend gentleman hit upon yet another means of helping the poor. He wrote a letter to the Weekly Chloroform appealing for cast-off boots for poor children. This was considered such a splendid idea that the editors of all the local papers referred to it in leading articles, and several other letters were written by prominent citizens extolling the wisdom and benevolence of the profound Bosher. Most of the boots that were sent in response to this appeal had been worn until they needed repair—in a very large proportion of instances, until they were beyond repair. The poor people to whom they were given could not afford to have them mended before using them, and the result was that the boots generally began to fall to pieces after a few days’ wear.
The reverend gentleman came up with another way to help the poor. He wrote a letter to the Weekly Chloroform asking for used boots for underprivileged children. This was seen as such a great idea that the editors of all the local newspapers wrote about it in leading articles, and several other letters from prominent citizens praised the wisdom and kindness of the thoughtful Bosher. Most of the boots sent in response to this request had been worn out to the point where they needed repairs—often to the extent that they were irreparable. The poor people who received them couldn't afford to get them fixed before wearing them, so the boots usually started to break down after just a few days of use.
This scheme amounted to very little. It did not increase the number of cast-off boots, and most of the people who “cast off” their boots generally gave them to someone or other. The only difference it can have made was that possibly a few persons who usually threw their boots away or sold them to second-hand dealers may have been induced to send them to Mr Bosher instead. But all the same nearly everybody said it was a splendid idea: its originator was applauded as a public benefactor, and the pettifogging busybodies who amused themselves with what they were pleased to term “charitable work” went into imbecile ecstasies over him.
This plan turned out to be pretty useless. It didn't really increase the number of discarded boots, and most people who got rid of their boots typically gave them to someone else. The only possible difference was that a few individuals who usually tossed their boots or sold them to thrift shops might have been convinced to send them to Mr. Bosher instead. Still, almost everyone praised it as a fantastic idea: its creator was celebrated as a public hero, and the meddling do-gooders who entertained themselves with what they called "charitable work" were in a state of ridiculous excitement over him.
Chapter 36
The O.B.S.
One of the most important agencies for the relief of distress was the Organized Benevolence Society. This association received money from many sources. The proceeds of the fancy-dress carnival; the collections from different churches and chapels which held special services in aid of the unemployed; the weekly collections made by the employees of several local firms and business houses; the proceeds of concerts, bazaars, and entertainments, donations from charitable persons, and the subscriptions of the members. The society also received large quantities of cast-off clothing and boots, and tickets of admission to hospitals, convalescent homes and dispensaries from subscribers to those institutions, or from people like Rushton & Co., who had collecting-boxes in their workshops and offices.
One of the most important organizations for helping those in need was the Organized Benevolence Society. This group received funds from various sources. The money came from the fancy-dress carnival, collections from different churches and chapels that held special services to support the unemployed, weekly contributions from employees of several local companies and businesses, proceeds from concerts, fairs, and events, along with donations from generous individuals and subscriptions from members. The society also received a large amount of donated clothing and shoes, plus tickets for hospitals, recovery homes, and clinics from subscribers to those places or from businesses like Rushton & Co., which had donation boxes in their workspaces and offices.
Altogether during the last year the Society had received from various sources about three hundred pounds in hard cash. This money was devoted to the relief of cases of distress.
Altogether, in the past year, the Society had received about three hundred pounds in cash from various sources. This money was used to help people in need.
The largest item in the expenditure of the Society was the salary of the General Secretary, Mr Sawney Grinder—a most deserving case—who was paid one hundred pounds a year.
The biggest expense for the Society was the salary of the General Secretary, Mr. Sawney Grinder—who truly deserved it—earning one hundred pounds a year.
After the death of the previous secretary there were so many candidates for the vacant post that the election of the new secretary was a rather exciting affair. The excitement was all the more intense because it was restrained. A special meeting of the society was held: the Mayor, Alderman Sweater, presided, and amongst those present were Councillors Rushton, Didlum and Grinder, Mrs Starvem, Rev. Mr Bosher, a number of the rich, semi-imbecile old women who had helped to open the Labour Yard, and several other “ladies”. Some of these were the district visitors already alluded to, most of them the wives of wealthy citizens and retired tradesmen, richly dressed, ignorant, insolent, overbearing frumps, who—after filling themselves with good things in their own luxurious homes—went flouncing into the poverty-stricken dwellings of their poor “sisters” and talked to them of “religion”, lectured them about sobriety and thrift, and—sometimes—gave them tickets for soup or orders for shillingsworths of groceries or coal. Some of these overfed females—the wives of tradesmen, for instance—belonged to the Organized Benevolence Society, and engaged in this “work” for the purpose of becoming acquainted with people of superior social position—one of the members was a colonel, and Sir Graball D’Encloseland—the Member of Parliament for the borough—also belonged to the Society and occasionally attended its meetings. Others took up district visiting as a hobby; they had nothing to do, and being densely ignorant and of inferior mentality, they had no desire or capacity for any intellectual pursuit. So they took up this work for the pleasure of playing the grand lady and the superior person at a very small expense. Other of these visiting ladies were middle-aged, unmarried women with small private incomes—some of them well-meaning, compassionate, gentle creatures who did this work because they sincerely desired to help others, and they knew of no better way. These did not take much part in the business of the meetings; they paid their subscriptions and helped to distribute the cast-off clothing and boots to those who needed them, and occasionally obtained from the secretary an order for provisions or coal or bread for some poverty-stricken family; but the poor, toil-worn women whom they visited welcomed them more for their sisterly sympathy than for the gifts they brought. Some of the visiting ladies were of this character—but they were not many. They were as a few fragrant flowers amidst a dense accumulation of noxious weeds. They were examples of humility and kindness shining amidst a vile and loathsome mass of hypocrisy, arrogance, and cant.
After the previous secretary passed away, there were so many candidates for the open position that the election of the new secretary became quite an event. The excitement grew even more because it was kept under control. A special meeting of the society was convened: the Mayor, Alderman Sweater, presided, and among those present were Councillors Rushton, Didlum, and Grinder, Mrs. Starvem, Rev. Mr. Bosher, a number of wealthy, semi-imbecilic older women who had helped to establish the Labour Yard, and several other “ladies.” Some of these were the district visitors mentioned earlier, most of whom were the wives of affluent citizens and retired tradespeople, dressed lavishly, ignorant, arrogant, domineering women who—after feasting on rich foods in their own comfortable homes—would strut into the impoverished homes of their poor “sisters” and preach to them about “religion,” lecture them about sobriety and thrift, and sometimes give them tickets for soup or vouchers for small amounts of groceries or coal. Some of these overindulged women—the wives of tradesmen, for example—were part of the Organized Benevolence Society and engaged in this “work” to mingle with people of higher social status—one of the members was a colonel, and Sir Graball D’Encloseland—the Member of Parliament for the borough—also belonged to the Society and occasionally attended its meetings. Others took up district visiting as a pastime; they had nothing else to do, and being quite ignorant and of lower intelligence, they had no interest or ability for any intellectual engagement. So they pursued this activity for the fun of playing the grand lady and acting superior at very little cost. Some of these visiting women were middle-aged, unmarried women with small personal incomes—some of them well-meaning, compassionate, kind souls who did this work because they genuinely wanted to help others, and they didn’t know a better way. These women didn’t participate much in the meetings; they paid their dues and helped to distribute gently used clothing and shoes to those in need, and occasionally got from the secretary an order for provisions or coal or bread for some struggling family; but the poor, weary women they visited welcomed them more for their genuine sympathy than for the gifts they brought. Some of the visiting ladies fit this description—but they were few. They were like a few fragrant flowers in a dense patch of noxious weeds. They were examples of humility and kindness shining amidst a vile and loathsome mass of hypocrisy, arrogance, and pretense.
When the Chairman had opened the meeting, Mr Rushton moved a vote of condolence with the relatives of the late secretary whom he eulogized in the most extraordinary terms.
When the Chairman started the meeting, Mr. Rushton proposed a vote of condolence for the family of the late secretary, whom he praised in the highest terms.
“The poor of Mugsborough had lost a kind and sympathetic friend”, “One who had devoted his life to helping the needy”, and so on and so forth. (As a matter of fact, most of the time of the defunct had been passed in helping himself, but Rushton said nothing about that.)
“The poor of Mugsborough had lost a kind and caring friend,” “One who had dedicated his life to helping those in need,” and so on. (Actually, most of the time the deceased had spent helping himself, but Rushton didn’t mention that.)
Mr Didlum seconded the vote of condolence in similar terms, and it was carried unanimously. Then the Chairman said that the next business was to elect a successor to the departed paragon; and immediately no fewer than nine members rose to propose a suitable person—they each had a noble-minded friend or relative willing to sacrifice himself for the good of the poor.
Mr. Didlum supported the vote of condolence in similar terms, and it passed unanimously. Then the Chairman mentioned that the next order of business was to elect a successor to the late paragon; instantly, no less than nine members stood up to suggest a suitable candidate—they each had a generous-minded friend or relative ready to put themselves forward for the benefit of the less fortunate.
The nine Benevolent stood looking at each other and at the Chairman with sickly smiles upon their hypocritical faces. It was a dramatic moment. No one spoke. It was necessary to be careful. It would never do to have a contest. The Secretary of the OBS was usually regarded as a sort of philanthropist by the outside public, and it was necessary to keep this fiction alive.
The nine Benevolent stood looking at each other and at the Chairman with weak smiles on their insincere faces. It was an intense moment. No one said anything. They had to be cautious. It wouldn't be good to have a showdown. The Secretary of the OBS was usually seen as a kind of philanthropist by the public, and it was important to maintain this illusion.
For one or two minutes an awkward silence reigned. Then, one after another they all reluctantly resumed their seats with the exception of Mr Amos Grinder, who said he wished to propose his nephew, Mr Sawney Grinder, a young man of a most benevolent disposition who was desirous of immolating himself upon the altar of charity for the benefit of the poor—or words to that effect.
For a minute or two, an uncomfortable silence filled the room. Then, one by one, everyone slowly returned to their seats except for Mr. Amos Grinder, who expressed his wish to propose his nephew, Mr. Sawney Grinder, a kind young man eager to dedicate himself to charity for the sake of helping the poor—or something like that.
Mr Didlum seconded, and there being no other nomination—for they all knew that it would give the game away to have a contest—the Chairman put Mr Grinder’s proposal to the meeting and declared it carried unanimously.
Mr. Didlum seconded the motion, and since there were no other nominations—everyone knew that having a contest would spoil things—the Chairman put Mr. Grinder’s proposal to the meeting and declared it passed unanimously.
Another considerable item in the expenditure of the society was the rent of the offices—a house in a back street. The landlord of this place was another very deserving case.
Another significant expense for the society was the rent for the offices—a building located on a side street. The landlord of this place was another truly deserving case.
There were numerous other expenses: stationery and stamps, printing, and so on, and what was left of the money was used for the purpose for which it had been given—a reasonable amount being kept in hand for future expenses. All the details were of course duly set forth in the Report and Balance Sheet at the annual meetings. No copy of this document was ever handed to the reporters for publication; it was read to the meeting by the Secretary; the representatives of the Press took notes, and in the reports of the meeting that subsequently appeared in the local papers the thing was so mixed up and garbled together that the few people who read it could not make head or tail of it. The only thing that was clear was that the society had been doing a great deal of good to someone or other, and that more money was urgently needed to carry on the work. It usually appeared something like this:
There were a lot of other expenses: stationery and stamps, printing, and so on, and what was left of the money was used for its intended purpose—a reasonable amount was kept aside for future costs. All the details were, of course, outlined in the Report and Balance Sheet at the annual meetings. No copy of this document was ever given to reporters for publication; it was read at the meeting by the Secretary. The press representatives took notes, and in the reports that later appeared in the local papers, everything was so mixed up and jumbled that the few people who read it couldn’t make heads or tails of it. The only clear takeaway was that the society had been doing a lot of good for someone and that more money was urgently needed to continue the work. It usually looked something like this:
HELPING THE NEEDY
Mugsborough Organized Benevolence Society
Annual Meeting at the Town Hall
A Splendid record of Miscellaneous and Valuable Work.
HELPING THE NEEDY
Mugsborough Organized Benevolence Society
Annual Meeting at the Town Hall
An Impressive record of Diverse and Valuable Work.
The annual meeting of the above Society was held yesterday at the Town Hall. The Mayor, Alderman Sweater, presided, and amongst those present were Sir Graball D’Encloseland, Lady D’Encloseland, Lady Slumrent. Rev. Mr Bosher, Mr Cheeseman, Mrs Bilder, Mrs Grosare, Mrs Daree, Mrs Butcher, Mrs Taylor, Mrs Baker, Mrs Starvem, Mrs Slodging, Mrs M. B. Sile, Mrs Knobrane, Mrs M. T. Head, Mr Rushton, Mr Didlum, Mr Grinder and (here followed about a quarter of a column of names of other charitable persons, all subscribers to the Society).
The annual meeting of the Society mentioned above took place yesterday at the Town Hall. The Mayor, Alderman Sweater, chaired the meeting, and among those present were Sir Graball D’Encloseland, Lady D’Encloseland, Lady Slumrent, Rev. Mr. Bosher, Mr. Cheeseman, Mrs. Bilder, Mrs. Grosare, Mrs. Daree, Mrs. Butcher, Mrs. Taylor, Mrs. Baker, Mrs. Starvem, Mrs. Slodging, Mrs. M. B. Sile, Mrs. Knobrane, Mrs. M. T. Head, Mr. Rushton, Mr. Didlum, Mr. Grinder, and a list of about twenty-five other charitable individuals who were all supporters of the Society.
The Secretary read the annual report which contained the following amongst other interesting items:
The Secretary read the annual report, which included the following, among other interesting points:
During the year, 1,972 applications for assistance have been received, and of this number 1,302 have been assisted as follows: Bread or grocery orders, 273. Coal or coke orders, 57. Nourishment 579. (Applause.) Pairs of boots granted, 29. Clothing, 105. Crutch granted to poor man, 1. Nurses provided, 2. Hospital tickets, 26. Sent to Consumption Sanatorium, 1. Twenty-nine persons, whose cases being chronic, were referred to the Poor Law Guardians. Work found for 19 persons. (Cheers.) Pedlar’s licences, 4. Dispensary tickets, 24. Bedding redeemed, 1. Loans granted to people to enable them to pay their rent, 8. (Loud cheers.) Dental tickets, 2. Railway fares for men who were going away from the town to employment elsewhere, 12. (Great cheering.) Loans granted, 5. Advertisements for employment, 4— and so on.
During the year, 1,972 applications for assistance have been received, and out of this number, 1,302 have been helped as follows: Bread or grocery orders, 273. Coal or coke orders, 57. Nourishment, 579. (Applause.) Pairs of boots granted, 29. Clothing, 105. Crutch granted to a man in need, 1. Nurses provided, 2. Hospital tickets, 26. Sent to a consumption sanatorium, 1. Twenty-nine individuals, whose cases are chronic, were referred to the Poor Law Guardians. Work found for 19 people. (Cheers.) Pedlar’s licenses, 4. Dispensary tickets, 24. Bedding redeemed, 1. Loans granted to individuals to help them pay their rent, 8. (Loud cheers.) Dental tickets, 2. Railway fares for men leaving town for jobs elsewhere, 12. (Great cheering.) Loans granted, 5. Job ads posted, 4— and so on.
There was about another quarter of a column of these details, the reading of which was punctuated with applause and concluded with: “Leaving 670 cases which for various reasons the Society was unable to assist”. The report then went on to explain that the work of inquiring into the genuineness of the applications entailed a lot of labour on the part of the Secretary, some cases taking several days. No fewer than 649 letters had been sent out from the office, and 97 postcards. (Applause.) Very few cash gifts were granted, as it was most necessary to guard against the Charity being abused. (Hear, hear.)
There was about another quarter of a column of these details, the reading of which was met with applause and concluded with: “Leaving 670 cases that the Society was unable to assist for various reasons.” The report then explained that checking the legitimacy of the applications required a lot of work from the Secretary, with some cases taking several days. No fewer than 649 letters had been sent out from the office, and 97 postcards. (Applause.) Very few cash gifts were given, as it was crucial to protect against the potential misuse of the Charity. (Hear, hear.)
Then followed a most remarkable paragraph headed “The Balance Sheet”, which—as it was put—“included the following”. “The following” was a jumbled list of items of expenditure, subscriptions, donations, legacies, and collections, winding up with “the general summary showed a balance in hand of £178.4.6’. (They always kept a good balance in hand because of the Secretary’s salary and the rent of the offices.)
Then came a very notable paragraph titled “The Balance Sheet,” which—as it stated—“included the following.” “The following” was a mixed list of expenses, subscriptions, donations, legacies, and collections, ending with “the general summary showed a balance in hand of £178.4.6.” (They always maintained a healthy balance because of the Secretary’s salary and the rent for the offices.)
After this very explicit financial statement came the most important part of the report: “Thanks are expressed to Sir Graball D’Encloseland for a donation of 2 guineas. Mrs Grosare, 1 guinea. Mrs Starvem, Hospital tickets. Lady Slumrent, letter of admission to Convalescent Home. Mrs Knobrane, 1 guinea. Mrs M.B. Sile, 1 guinea. Mrs M.T. Head, 1 guinea. Mrs Sledging, gifts of clothing”—and so on for another quarter of a column, the whole concluding with a vote of thanks to the Secretary and an urgent appeal to the charitable public for more funds to enable the Society to continue its noble work.
After this clear financial statement came the most important part of the report: “Thanks to Sir Graball D’Encloseland for a donation of £2. Mrs Grosare, £1. Mrs Starvem, hospital tickets. Lady Slumrent, a letter of admission to the Convalescent Home. Mrs Knobrane, £1. Mrs M.B. Sile, £1. Mrs M.T. Head, £1. Mrs Sledging, donations of clothing”—and so on for another quarter of a column, the whole concluding with a vote of thanks to the Secretary and an urgent request to the charitable public for more funds to help the Society continue its important work.
Meantime, in spite of this and kindred organizations the conditions of the under-paid poverty stricken and unemployed workers remained the same. Although the people who got the grocery and coal orders, the “Nourishment”, and the cast-off clothes and boots, were very glad to have them, yet these things did far more harm than good. They humiliated, degraded and pauperized those who received them, and the existence of the societies prevented the problem being grappled with in a sane and practical manner. The people lacked the necessaries of life: the necessaries of life are produced by Work: these people were willing to work, but were prevented from doing so by the idiotic system of society which these “charitable” people are determined to do their best to perpetuate.
In the meantime, despite this and similar organizations, the conditions of underpaid, impoverished, and unemployed workers remained unchanged. Even though the people receiving grocery and coal orders, "Nourishment," and second-hand clothes and boots were grateful for them, these items did more harm than good. They humiliated, degraded, and impoverished those who received assistance, and the existence of these societies prevented the issue from being addressed in a rational and practical way. People lacked the essentials of life: the essentials of life are provided through work. These individuals were willing to work but were blocked from doing so by the ridiculous societal system that these "charitable" people are determined to uphold.
If the people who expect to be praised and glorified for being charitable were never to give another farthing it would be far better for the industrious poor, because then the community as a whole would be compelled to deal with the absurd and unnecessary state of affairs that exists today—millions of people living and dying in wretchedness and poverty in an age when science and machinery have made it possible to produce such an abundance of everything that everyone might enjoy plenty and comfort. It if were not for all this so-called charity the starving unemployed men all over the country would demand to be allowed to work and produce the things they are perishing for want of, instead of being—as they are now—content to wear their masters’ cast-off clothing and to eat the crumbs that fall from his table.
If the people who expect to be praised and celebrated for being charitable never gave another dime, it would be much better for the hardworking poor. Then the community as a whole would have to confront the ridiculous and unnecessary situation we have today—millions of people living and dying in misery and poverty in an era where science and technology could provide enough for everyone to enjoy comfort and abundance. If it weren't for all this so-called charity, the starving unemployed all over the country would insist on being allowed to work and create the things they desperately need, instead of being—like they are now—satisfied to wear their employers’ discarded clothes and eat the scraps that fall from their tables.
Chapter 37
A Brilliant Epigram
All through the winter, the wise, practical, philanthropic, fat persons whom the people of Mugsborough had elected to manage their affairs—or whom they permitted to manage them without being elected—continued to grapple, or to pretend to grapple, with the “problem” of unemployment and poverty. They continued to hold meetings, rummage and jumble sales, entertainments and special services. They continued to distribute the rotten cast-off clothing and boots, and the nourishment tickets. They were all so sorry for the poor, especially for the “dear little children”. They did all sorts of things to help the children. In fact, there was nothing that they would not do for them except levy a halfpenny rate. It would never do to do that. It might pauperize the parents and destroy parental responsibility. They evidently thought that it would be better to destroy the health or even the lives of the “dear little children” than to pauperize the parents or undermine parental responsibility. These people seemed to think that the children were the property of their parents. They did not have sense enough to see that the children are not the property of their parents at all, but the property of the community. When they attain to manhood and womanhood they will be, if mentally or physically inefficient, a burden on the community; if they become criminals, they will prey upon the community, and if they are healthy, educated and brought up in good surroundings, they will become useful citizens, able to render valuable service, not merely to their parents, but to the community. Therefore the children are the property of the community, and it is the business and to the interest of the community to see that their constitutions are not undermined by starvation. The Secretary of the local Trades Council, a body formed of delegates from all the different trades unions in the town, wrote a letter to the Obscurer, setting forth this view. He pointed out that a halfpenny rate in that town would produce a sum of £800, which would be more than sufficient to provide food for all the hungry schoolchildren. In the next issue of the paper several other letters appeared from leading citizens, including, of course, Sweater, Rushton, Didlum and Grinder, ridiculing the proposal of the Trades Council, who were insultingly alluded to as “pothouse politicians”, “beer-sodden agitators” and so forth. Their right to be regarded as representatives of the working men was denied, and Grinder, who, having made inquiries amongst working men, was acquainted with the facts, stated that there was scarcely one of the local branches of the trades unions which had more than a dozen members; and as Grinder’s statement was true, the Secretary was unable to contradict it. The majority of the working men were also very indignant when they heard about the Secretary’s letter: they said the rates were quite high enough as it was, and they sneered at him for presuming to write to the papers at all:
All through the winter, the wise, practical, philanthropic, overweight individuals that the people of Mugsborough had chosen to run things—or the ones they allowed to run things without being elected—kept trying, or at least pretending to try, to tackle the "problem" of unemployment and poverty. They kept holding meetings, rummage sales, entertainment events, and special services. They continued to hand out worn-out clothing and shoes, along with food vouchers. They were all very sympathetic to the poor, especially for the "little children." They did all sorts of things to help the kids. In fact, there was nothing they wouldn’t do for them except impose a small tax. They couldn’t possibly do that. It might make the parents dependent and ruin their sense of responsibility. They clearly thought it was better to harm the health or even the lives of the "little children" than to make the parents dependent or undermine their responsibility. These people seemed to believe that the children belonged to their parents. They didn’t realize that children don't belong to their parents at all, but to the community. When they grow up, if they are mentally or physically impaired, they will be a burden on society; if they turn to crime, they will harm the community, and if they are healthy, educated, and raised in good conditions, they will become productive citizens who can provide value not just to their parents, but to the community. Therefore, the children belong to the community, and it is the responsibility and interest of the community to ensure that their health is not compromised by hunger. The Secretary of the local Trades Council, a group made up of delegates from all the different trade unions in town, wrote a letter to the Obscurer outlining this perspective. He pointed out that a small tax in that town would raise £800, which would be more than enough to feed all the hungry schoolchildren. In the next issue of the paper, several other letters appeared from prominent citizens, including, of course, Sweater, Rushton, Didlum, and Grinder, mocking the Trades Council’s proposal, insulting them as "pothouse politicians," "beer-soaked agitators," and so on. They denied the Trades Council's right to be considered representatives of the working class, and Grinder, who had asked local workers for their opinions, noted that hardly any of the local trade unions had more than a dozen members; and since Grinder’s statement was true, the Secretary couldn’t dispute it. Most of the working men were also very upset when they heard about the Secretary’s letter: they said the taxes were already too high, and they ridiculed him for even thinking he could write to the papers.
“Who the bloody ’ell was ’e?” they said. “’E was not a Gentleman! ’E was only a workin’ man the same as themselves—a common carpenter! What the ’ell did ’e know about it? Nothing. ’E was just trying to make ’isself out to be Somebody, that was all. The idea of one of the likes of them writing to the papers!”
“Who the heck was he?” they said. “He wasn’t a gentleman! He was just a working man like us—a regular carpenter! What did he know about it? Nothing. He was just trying to make himself seem important, that's all. The idea of someone like him writing to the papers!”
One day, having nothing better to do, Owen was looking at some books that were exposed for sale on a table outside a second-hand furniture shop. One book in particular took his attention: he read several pages with great interest, and regretted that he had not the necessary sixpence to buy it. The title of the book was: Consumption: Its Causes and Its Cure. The author was a well-known physician who devoted his whole attention to the study of that disease. Amongst other things, the book gave rules for the feeding of delicate children, and there were also several different dietaries recommended for adult persons suffering from the disease. One of these dietaries amused him very much, because as far as the majority of those who suffer from consumption are concerned, the good doctor might just as well have prescribed a trip to the moon:
One day, with nothing better to do, Owen was browsing some books for sale on a table outside a second-hand furniture shop. One book, in particular, caught his eye: he read several pages with great interest and wished he had the sixpence needed to buy it. The title of the book was: Consumption: Its Causes and Its Cure. The author was a well-known doctor who focused entirely on studying that disease. The book included guidelines for feeding delicate children, along with several different diets recommended for adults suffering from the disease. One of these diets made him laugh, because for most people suffering from consumption, the good doctor might as well have prescribed a trip to the moon:
“Immediately on waking in the morning, half a pint of milk—this should be hot, if possible—with a small slice of bread and butter.
“Right after waking up in the morning, half a pint of milk—ideally hot—along with a small slice of bread and butter."
“At breakfast: half a pint of milk, with coffee, chocolate, or oatmeal: eggs and bacon, bread and butter, or dry toast.
“At breakfast: half a pint of milk, with coffee, chocolate, or oatmeal; eggs and bacon, bread and butter, or dry toast.”
“At eleven o’clock: half a pint of milk with an egg beaten up in it or some beef tea and bread and butter.
“At eleven o’clock: half a pint of milk with a beaten egg in it or some beef broth with bread and butter.
“At one o’clock: half a pint of warm milk with a biscuit or sandwich.
“At one o’clock: half a pint of warm milk with a cookie or sandwich.
“At two o’clock: fish and roast mutton, or a mutton chop, with as much fat as possible: poultry, game, etc., may be taken with vegetables, and milk pudding.
“At two o’clock: fish and roasted lamb, or a lamb chop, with as much fat as possible: poultry, game, etc., can be served with vegetables and milk pudding.”
“At five o’clock: hot milk with coffee or chocolate, bread and butter, watercress, etc.
“At five o’clock: hot milk with coffee or chocolate, bread and butter, watercress, etc.
“At eight o’clock: a pint of milk, with oatmeal or chocolate, and gluten bread, or two lightly boiled eggs with bread and butter.
“At eight o’clock: a pint of milk, with oatmeal or chocolate, and gluten-free bread, or two soft-boiled eggs with bread and butter.
“Before retiring to rest: a glass of warm milk.
“Before going to bed: a glass of warm milk.
“During the night: a glass of milk with a biscuit or bread and butter should be placed by the bedside and be eaten if the patient awakes.”
“During the night, a glass of milk with a biscuit or bread and butter should be set by the bedside to be eaten if the patient wakes up.”
Whilst Owen was reading this book, Crass, Harlow, Philpot and Easton were talking together on the other side of the street, and presently Crass caught sight of him. They had been discussing the Secretary’s letter re the halfpenny rate, and as Owen was one of the members of the Trades Council, Crass suggested that they should go across and tackle him about it.
While Owen was reading this book, Crass, Harlow, Philpot, and Easton were chatting together on the other side of the street, and soon Crass spotted him. They had been talking about the Secretary's letter regarding the halfpenny rate, and since Owen was a member of the Trades Council, Crass suggested that they should go over and confront him about it.
“How much is your house assessed at?” asked Owen after listening for about a quarter of an hour to Crass’s objection.
“How much is your house assessed for?” Owen asked after listening for about fifteen minutes to Crass’s objection.
“Fourteen pound,” replied Crass.
"Fourteen pounds," replied Crass.
“That means that you would have to pay sevenpence per year if we had a halfpenny rate. Wouldn’t it be worth sevenpence a year to you to know that there were no starving children in the town?”
“That means you would have to pay seven pence a year if we had a halfpenny rate. Wouldn’t it be worth seven pence a year to you to know that there were no starving children in town?”
“Why should I ’ave to ’elp to keep the children of a man who’s too lazy to work, or spends all ’is money on drink?” shouted Crass. “’Ow are yer goin’ to make out about the likes o’ them?”
“Why should I have to help support the kids of a guy who's too lazy to work, or blows all his money on booze?” shouted Crass. “How are you going to justify helping people like them?”
“If his children are starving we should feed them first, and punish him afterwards.”
“If his kids are hungry, we should feed them first and deal with him later.”
“The rates is quite high enough as it is,” grumbled Harlow, who had four children himself.
“The rates are already high enough,” grumbled Harlow, who had four kids of his own.
“That’s quite true, but you must remember that the rates the working classes at present pay are spent mostly for the benefit of other people. Good roads are maintained for people who ride in motor cars and carriages; the Park and the Town Band for those who have leisure to enjoy them; the Police force to protect the property of those who have something to lose, and so on. But if we pay this rate we shall get something for our money.”
“That’s totally true, but you have to remember that the taxes the working-class people currently pay mostly benefit others. Nice roads are kept up for people who drive cars and ride in carriages; the park and the town band are for those who have the free time to enjoy them; the police force is there to protect the property of those who own something valuable, and so on. But if we pay these taxes, we’ll actually get something for our money.”
“We gets the benefit of the good roads when we ’as to push a ’andcart with a load o’ paint and ladders,” said Easton.
“We get the benefit of the good roads when we have to push a handcart with a load of paint and ladders,” said Easton.
“Of course,” said Crass, “and besides, the workin’ class gets the benefit of all the other things too, because it all makes work.”
“Of course,” said Crass, “and besides, the working class benefits from all the other things too, because it all creates jobs.”
“Well, for my part,” said Philpot, “I wouldn’t mind payin’ my share towards a ’appeny rate, although I ain’t got no kids o’ me own.”
“Well, for my part,” said Philpot, “I wouldn’t mind paying my share toward a penny rate, even though I don’t have any kids of my own.”
The hostility of most of the working men to the proposed rate was almost as bitter as that of the “better” classes—the noble-minded philanthropists who were always gushing out their sympathy for the “dear little ones”, the loathsome hypocrites who pretended that there was no need to levy a rate because they were willing to give sufficient money in the form of charity to meet the case: but the children continued to go hungry all the same.
The dislike most of the working men had for the proposed rate was nearly as intense as that of the "better" classes—the well-meaning philanthropists who always expressed their sympathy for the "dear little ones," the disgusting hypocrites who claimed that there was no need to impose a rate because they were willing to donate enough money in charity to solve the problem: yet the children still went hungry.
“Loathsome hypocrites” may seem a hard saying, but it was a matter of common knowledge that the majority of the children attending the local elementary schools were insufficiently fed. It was admitted that the money that could be raised by a halfpenny rate would be more than sufficient to provide them all with one good meal every day. The charity-mongers who professed such extravagant sympathy with the “dear little children” resisted the levying of the rate “because it would press so heavily on the poorer ratepayers”, and said that they were willing to give more in voluntary charity than the rate would amount to: but, the “dear little children”—as they were so fond of calling them—continued to go to school hungry all the same.
“Loathsome hypocrites” might sound extreme, but everyone knew that most of the kids at the local elementary schools weren't getting enough to eat. It was acknowledged that the funds raised from a small tax would easily cover providing each child with a decent meal every day. The charity enthusiasts who claimed to care so much for the “dear little children” opposed the tax, saying it would be too hard on the poorer taxpayers, and they claimed they would donate more in voluntary charity than the tax would raise. Yet, those “dear little children”—as they liked to call them—continued to attend school hungry.
To judge them by their profession and their performances, it appeared that these good kind persons were willing to do any mortal thing for the “dear little children” except allow them to be fed.
To evaluate them based on their jobs and actions, it seemed that these good-hearted individuals were ready to do anything for the “dear little children” except let them be fed.
If these people had really meant to do what they pretended, they would not have cared whether they paid the money to a rate-collector or to the secretary of a charity society and they would have preferred to accomplish their object in the most efficient and economical way.
If these people had genuinely intended to do what they claimed, they wouldn't have cared whether they paid the money to a tax collector or to the secretary of a charity organization, and they would have preferred to achieve their goal in the most effective and cost-efficient way.
But although they would not allow the children to be fed, they went to church and to chapel, glittering with jewellery, their fat carcases clothed in rich raiment, and sat with smug smiles upon their faces listening to the fat parsons reading out of a Book that none of them seemed able to understand, for this was what they read:
But even though they wouldn’t let the kids eat, they went to church and chapel, decked out in jewelry, their overweight bodies dressed in fancy clothes, sitting with self-satisfied smiles on their faces while listening to the pompous ministers reading from a Book that none of them seemed to comprehend, because this was what they read:
“And Jesus called a little child unto Him, and set him in the midst of them, and said: Whosoever shall receive one such little child in My name, receiveth Me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
“And Jesus called a little child to Him, and placed him in the middle of them, and said: Whoever welcomes one of these little children in My name welcomes Me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for that person to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
“Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones, for I say unto you that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of My Father.”
“Be careful not to look down on any of these little ones, because I tell you, their angels in heaven always see the face of My Father.”
And this: “Then shall He say unto them: Depart from me, ye cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: for I was an hungered and ye gave Me no meat: I was thirsty and ye gave Me no drink: I was a stranger and ye took Me not in; naked, and ye clothed Me not.
And this: “Then He will say to them: Depart from Me, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels: for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; I was a stranger and you didn’t take Me in; I was naked and you didn’t clothe Me.
“Then shall they answer: ‘Lord, when saw we Thee an hungered or athirst or a stranger or naked, or sick, and did not minister unto Thee?’ and He shall answer them, ‘Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to Me.’”
“Then they will respond: ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked, or sick, and not help You?’ And He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me.’”
These were the sayings that the infidel parsons mouthed in the infidel temples to the richly dressed infidel congregations, who heard but did not understand, for their hearts were become gross and their ears dull of hearing. And meantime, all around them, in the alley and the slum, and more terrible still—because more secret—in the better sort of streets where lived the respectable class of skilled artisans, the little children became thinner and paler day by day for lack of proper food, and went to bed early because there was no fire.
These were the words that the non-believing preachers spoke in the non-believing places of worship to the well-dressed non-believing congregations, who listened but didn’t understand, because their hearts had hardened and their ears were dull. Meanwhile, all around them, in the alleys and slums, and even more alarmingly—in the nicer streets where the respectable skilled workers lived—little children became thinner and paler each day from not having enough food, and went to bed early because there was no heat.
Sir Graball D’Encloseland, the Member of Parliament for the borough, was one of the bitterest opponents of the halfpenny rate, but as he thought it was probable that there would soon be another General Election and he wanted the children’s fathers to vote for him again, he was willing to do something for them in another way. He had a ten-year-old daughter whose birthday was in that month, so the kind-hearted Baronet made arrangements to give a Tea to all the school children in the town in honour of the occasion. The tea was served in the schoolrooms and each child was presented with a gilt-edged card on which was a printed portrait of the little hostess, with “From your loving little friend, Honoria D’Encloseland”, in gold letters. During the evening the little girl, accompanied by Sir Graball and Lady D’Encloseland, motored round to all the schools where the tea was being consumed: the Baronet made a few remarks, and Honoria made a pretty little speech, specially learnt for the occasion, at each place, and they were loudly cheered and greatly admired in response. The enthusiasm was not confined to the boys and girls, for while the speechmaking was going on inside, a little crowd of grown-up children were gathered round outside the entrance, worshipping the motor car: and when the little party came out the crowd worshipped them also, going into imbecile ecstasies of admiration of their benevolence and their beautiful clothes.
Sir Graball D’Encloseland, the MP for the borough, was one of the fiercest opponents of the halfpenny rate, but since he figured there would soon be another General Election and he wanted the children’s fathers to vote for him again, he decided to do something for them in another way. He had a ten-year-old daughter whose birthday was this month, so the kind-hearted Baronet arranged a tea party for all the school children in town to celebrate the occasion. The tea was served in the schoolrooms, and each child received a fancy card featuring a printed portrait of the little hostess, with “From your loving little friend, Honoria D’Encloseland” in gold letters. During the evening, the little girl, accompanied by Sir Graball and Lady D’Encloseland, drove around to all the schools where the tea was being served: the Baronet made a few remarks, and Honoria gave a sweet little speech, specially prepared for the occasion, at each location, receiving loud cheers and much admiration in return. The excitement wasn’t just from the boys and girls; while the speeches were happening inside, a small crowd of grown-ups gathered outside the entrance, admiring the motor car. When the little group came out, the crowd turned their admiration towards them, going into silly fits of excitement over their generosity and their lovely clothes.
For several weeks everybody in the town was in raptures over this tea—or, rather, everybody except a miserable little minority of Socialists, who said it was bribery, an electioneering dodge, that did no real good, and who continued to clamour for a halfpenny rate.
For several weeks, everyone in town was ecstatic about this tea—or rather, everyone except a small group of unhappy Socialists, who claimed it was bribery, a trick to win votes, that didn’t actually help anyone, and who kept demanding a halfpenny rate.
Another specious fraud was the “Distress Committee”. This body—or corpse, for there was not much vitality in it—was supposed to exist for the purpose of providing employment for “deserving cases”. One might be excused for thinking that any man—no matter what his past may have been—who is willing to work for his living is a “deserving case”: but this was evidently not the opinion of the persons who devised the regulations for the working of this committee. Every applicant for work was immediately given a long job, and presented with a double sheet of foolscap paper to do it with. Now, if the object of the committee had been to furnish the applicant with material for the manufacture of an appropriate headdress for himself, no one could reasonably have found fault with them: but the foolscap was not to be utilized in that way; it was called a “Record Paper”, three pages of it were covered with insulting, inquisitive, irrelevant questions concerning the private affairs and past life of the “case” who wished to be permitted to work for his living, and all these had to be answered to the satisfaction of Messrs D’Encloseland, Bosher, Sweater, Rushton, Didlum, Grinder and the other members of the committee, before the case stood any chance of getting employment.
Another misleading scam was the “Distress Committee.” This group—or more like a corpse, since it had little vitality—was supposedly created to provide jobs for “deserving cases.” One might reasonably think that any person—regardless of their past—who is willing to work for a living is a “deserving case.” However, that clearly wasn’t the view of those who set the rules for this committee. Every job applicant was immediately handed a lengthy task and given a double sheet of foolscap paper to complete it. Now, if the committee's goal had been to supply the applicant with materials to create a suitable hat for themselves, it would have been hard to criticize them. But the foolscap wasn’t meant for that; it was labeled a “Record Paper,” and three pages were filled with insulting, intrusive, irrelevant questions about the applicant's private life and history. All these had to be answered to the satisfaction of Messrs D’Encloseland, Bosher, Sweater, Rushton, Didlum, Grinder, and the other committee members before the person stood any chance of getting a job.
However, notwithstanding the offensive nature of the questions on the application form, during the five months that this precious committee was in session, no fewer than 1,237 broken-spirited and humble “lion’s whelps” filled up the forms and answered the questions as meekly as if they had been sheep. The funds of the committee consisted of £500, obtained from the Imperial Exchequer, and about £250 in charitable donations. This money was used to pay wages for certain work—some of which would have had to be done even if the committee had never existed—and if each of the 1,237 applicants had had an equal share of the work, the wages they would have received would have amounted to about twelve shillings each. This was what the “practical” persons, the “business-men”, called “dealing with the problem of unemployment”. Imagine having to keep your family for five months with twelve shillings!
However, despite the offensive nature of the questions on the application form, during the five months that this important committee was in session, no fewer than 1,237 broken-spirited and humble “lion’s whelps” filled out the forms and answered the questions as meekly as if they were sheep. The committee's funds totaled £500, obtained from the Imperial Exchequer, and about £250 in charitable donations. This money was used to pay wages for certain work—some of which would have needed to be done even if the committee had never existed—and if each of the 1,237 applicants had an equal share of the work, the wages they would have received would have amounted to about twelve shillings each. This was what the “practical” people, the “businessmen,” called “dealing with the problem of unemployment.” Imagine having to support your family for five months on twelve shillings!
And, if you like, imagine that the Government grant had been four times as much as it was, and that the charity had amounted to four times as much as it did, and then fancy having to keep your family for five months with two pounds eight shillings!
And, if you want, picture that the government grant was four times what it actually was, and that the charity had totaled four times what it did, and then try to imagine keeping your family for five months on just two pounds eight shillings!
It is true that some of the members of the committee would have been very glad if they had been able to put the means of earning a living within the reach of every man who was willing to work; but they simply did not know what to do, or how to do it. They were not ignorant of the reality of the evil they were supposed to be “dealing with”—appalling evidences of it faced them on every side, and as, after all, these committee men were human beings and not devils, they would have been glad to mitigate it if they could have done so without hurting themselves: but the truth was that they did not know what to do!
It’s true that some members of the committee would have been really happy if they could have found a way to help every person willing to work earn a living; but they just didn’t know what to do or how to do it. They weren’t blind to the harsh realities of the problem they were supposed to be tackling—there were shocking signs of it all around them, and since these committee members were human and not monsters, they would have liked to make things better if they could do so without putting themselves at risk. But the reality was that they didn’t know what to do!
These are the “practical” men; the monopolists of intelligence, the wise individuals who control the affairs of the world: it is in accordance with the ideas of such men as these that the conditions of human life are regulated.
These are the "practical" men; the monopolizers of knowledge, the smart individuals who run the world: it is based on the ideas of people like them that the conditions of human life are determined.
This is the position:
This is the role:
It is admitted that never before in the history of mankind was it possible to produce the necessaries of life in such abundance as at present.
It is acknowledged that never before in human history has it been possible to produce the essentials of life in such abundance as it is today.
The management of the affairs of the world—the business of arranging the conditions under which we live—is at present in the hands of Practical, Level-headed, Sensible Business-men.
The management of the world’s affairs—the task of organizing the conditions in which we live—is currently in the hands of practical, level-headed, sensible businesspeople.
The result of their management is, that the majority of the people find it a hard struggle to live. Large numbers exist in perpetual poverty: a great many more periodically starve: many actually die of want: hundreds destroy themselves rather than continue to live and suffer.
The result of their management is that most people find it a tough challenge to get by. A large number live in constant poverty; many more experience hunger periodically; some even die from lack of basic needs; hundreds take their own lives rather than keep living in pain.
When the Practical, Level-headed, Sensible Business-men are asked why they do not remedy this state of things, they reply that they do not know what to do! or, that it is impossible to remedy it!
When practical, level-headed, sensible businesspeople are asked why they don't fix this situation, they say they don't know what to do! Or, that it's impossible to fix it!
And yet it is admitted that it is now possible to produce the necessaries of life, in greater abundance than ever before!
And yet, it's widely accepted that we can now produce the essentials of life in greater abundance than ever before!
With lavish kindness, the Supreme Being had provided all things necessary for the existence and happiness of his creatures. To suggest that it is not so is a blasphemous lie: it is to suggest that the Supreme Being is not good or even just. On every side there is an overflowing superfluity of the materials requisite for the production of all the necessaries of life: from these materials everything we need may be produced in abundance—by Work. Here was an army of people lacking the things that may be made by work, standing idle. Willing to work; clamouring to be allowed to work, and the Practical, Level-headed, Sensible Business-men did not know what to do!
With generous kindness, the Supreme Being has provided everything necessary for the existence and happiness of His creations. To claim otherwise is a blasphemous lie: it implies that the Supreme Being is neither good nor even fair. All around us, there is an overwhelming abundance of resources needed to produce the essentials of life: from these resources, everything we need can be produced in plenty—through Work. Here was a group of people without the things that can be made by work, standing idle. Eager to work; begging to be allowed to work, yet the Practical, Level-headed, Sensible Businessmen didn't know what to do!
Of course, the real reason for the difficulty is that the raw materials that were created for the use and benefit of all have been stolen by a small number, who refuse to allow them to be used for the purposes for which they were intended. This numerically insignificant minority refused to allow the majority to work and produce the things they need; and what work they do graciously permit to be done is not done with the object of producing the necessaries of life for those who work, but for the purpose of creating profit for their masters.
Of course, the real reason for the struggle is that the resources meant for everyone's use and benefit have been taken by a small group, who won’t let them be used for their original purpose. This tiny minority won’t let the majority work to create what they need; and any work they do allow is not aimed at providing the essentials of life for those doing the work, but rather at generating profit for their bosses.
And then, strangest fact of all, the people who find it a hard struggle to live, or who exist in dreadful poverty and sometimes starve, instead of trying to understand the causes of their misery and to find out a remedy themselves, spend all their time applauding the Practical, Sensible, Level-headed Business-men, who bungle and mismanage their affairs, and pay them huge salaries for doing so. Sir Graball D’Encloseland, for instance, was a “Secretary of State” and was paid £5,000 a year. When he first got the job the wages were only a beggarly £2,000, but as he found it impossible to exist on less than £100 a week he decided to raise his salary to that amount; and the foolish people who find it a hard struggle to live paid it willingly, and when they saw the beautiful motor car and the lovely clothes and jewellery he purchased for his wife with the money, and heard the Great Speech he made—telling them how the shortage of everything was caused by Over-production and Foreign Competition, they clapped their hands and went frantic with admiration. Their only regret was that there were no horses attached to the motor car, because if there had been, they could have taken them out and harnessed themselves to it instead.
And then, the strangest thing of all is that the people who struggle to get by, or who live in terrible poverty and sometimes go hungry, instead of trying to understand why they're suffering and finding a solution themselves, spend all their time praising the Practical, Sensible, Level-headed Businessmen who mishandle their affairs and get paid huge salaries for it. For example, Sir Graball D’Encloseland was a “Secretary of State” and earned £5,000 a year. When he first got the job, the salary was just a measly £2,000, but since he found it impossible to live on less than £100 a week, he decided to raise his salary to that amount; and the foolish people who struggle to make ends meet paid it without question. When they saw the fancy car and the beautiful clothes and jewelry he bought for his wife with that money, and listened to the Grand Speech he gave—claiming that the shortage of everything was due to Over-production and Foreign Competition—they cheered wildly with admiration. Their only regret was that there were no horses attached to the car, because if there had been, they could have taken them out and harnessed themselves to it instead.
Nothing delighted the childish minds of these poor people so much as listening to or reading extracts from the speeches of such men as these; so in order to amuse them, every now and then, in the midst of all the wretchedness, some of the great statesmen made “great speeches” full of cunning phrases intended to hoodwink the fools who had elected them. The very same week that Sir Graball’s salary was increased to £5,000 a year, all the papers were full of a very fine one that he made. They appeared with large headlines like this:
Nothing thrilled the simple minds of these poor people more than listening to or reading excerpts from the speeches of men like these; so to entertain them, every now and then, amid all the misery, some of the prominent politicians delivered “great speeches” packed with clever phrases meant to deceive the fools who had voted for them. The very same week that Sir Graball’s salary was raised to £5,000 a year, all the newspapers featured a very impressive one that he gave. They showed up with large headlines like this:
GREAT SPEECH BY SIR GRABALL D’ENCLOSELAND
Brilliant Epigram!
None should have more than they need, whilst any have less than they need!
GREAT SPEECH BY SIR GRABALL D’ENCLOSELAND
Brilliant Epigram!
No one should have more than they need while others have less than they need!
The hypocrisy of such a saying in the mouth of a man who was drawing a salary of five thousand pounds a year did not appear to occur to anyone. On the contrary, the hired scribes of the capitalist Press wrote columns of fulsome admiration of the miserable claptrap, and the working men who had elected this man went into raptures over the “Brilliant Epigram” as if it were good to eat. They cut it out of the papers and carried it about with them: they showed it to each other: they read it and repeated it to each other: they wondered at it and were delighted with it, grinning and gibbering at each other in the exuberance of their imbecile enthusiasm.
The hypocrisy of a statement like that coming from a man earning five thousand pounds a year didn’t seem to bother anyone. In fact, the paid writers of the capitalist media wrote columns praising the ridiculous nonsense, and the working men who had voted for this guy were thrilled with the “Brilliant Epigram” as if it was something amazing. They tore it out of the newspapers and carried it around with them: they shared it with one another: they read it and recited it to each other: they marveled at it and were thrilled by it, grinning and chattering away in their mindless excitement.
The Distress Committee was not the only body pretending to “deal” with the poverty “problem”: its efforts were supplemented by all the other agencies already mentioned—the Labour Yard, the Rummage Sales, the Organized Benevolence Society, and so on, to say nothing of a most benevolent scheme originated by the management of Sweater’s Emporium, who announced in a letter that was published in the local Press that they were prepared to employ fifty men for one week to carry sandwich boards at one shilling—and a loaf of bread—per day.
The Distress Committee wasn't the only group pretending to tackle the poverty issue: its efforts were backed by all the other agencies already mentioned—the Labour Yard, the Rummage Sales, the Organized Benevolence Society, and more, not to mention a very generous plan started by the management of Sweater’s Emporium, who announced in a letter published in the local press that they were ready to hire fifty men for one week to carry sandwich boards for one shilling—and a loaf of bread—per day.
They got the men; some unskilled labourers, a few old, worn out artisans whom misery had deprived of the last vestiges of pride or shame; a number of habitual drunkards and loafers, and a non-descript lot of poor ragged old men—old soldiers and others of whom it would be impossible to say what they had once been.
They found the men: some unskilled laborers, a few old, exhausted craftsmen whom hardship had stripped of their last bits of pride or shame; a number of habitual drunks and layabouts, and a mixed group of poor, ragged old men—former soldiers and others whose past identities were impossible to discern.
The procession of sandwich men was headed by the Semi-drunk and the Besotted Wretch, and each board was covered with a printed poster: “Great Sale of Ladies’ Blouses now Proceeding at Adam Sweater’s Emporium.”
The parade of sandwich board guys was led by the Half-drunk and the Total Mess, and each board was covered with a printed sign: “Huge Sale on Women’s Blouses Happening Now at Adam Sweater’s Emporium.”
Besides this artful scheme of Sweater’s for getting a good advertisement on the cheap, numerous other plans for providing employment or alleviating the prevailing misery were put forward in the columns of the local papers and at the various meetings that were held. Any foolish, idiotic, useless suggestion was certain to receive respectful attention; any crafty plan devised in his own interest or for his own profit by one or other of the crew of sweaters and landlords who controlled the town was sure to be approved of by the other inhabitants of Mugsborough, the majority of whom were persons of feeble intellect who not only allowed themselves to be robbed and exploited by a few cunning scoundrels, but venerated and applauded them for doing it.
Besides this clever scheme of Sweater’s to get cheap advertising, many other ideas for providing jobs or easing the widespread hardship were presented in the local newspapers and at various meetings. Any foolish or pointless suggestion was guaranteed to get respectful attention; any sneaky plan made for personal gain by one of the group of sweaters and landlords running the town was sure to be supported by the other residents of Mugsborough. Most of these residents were simple-minded people who not only let themselves be taken advantage of by a few crafty rogues but actually admired and praised them for it.
Chapter 38
The Brigands’ Cave
One evening in the drawing-room at “The Cave” there was a meeting of a number of the “Shining Lights” to arrange the details of a Rummage Sale, that was to be held in aid of the unemployed. It was an informal affair, and while they were waiting for the other luminaries, the early arrivals, Messrs Rushton, Didlum and Grinder, Mr Oyley Sweater, the Borough Surveyor, Mr Wireman, the electrical engineer who had been engaged as an “expert” to examine and report on the Electric Light Works, and two or three other gentlemen—all members of the Band—took advantage of the opportunity to discuss a number of things they were mutually interested in, which were to be dealt with at the meeting of the Town Council the next day. First, there was the affair of the untenanted Kiosk on the Grand Parade. This building belonged to the Corporation, and “The Cosy Corner Refreshment Coy.” of which Mr Grinder was the managing director, was thinking of hiring it to open as a high-class refreshment lounge, provided the Corporation would make certain alterations and let the place at a reasonable rent. Another item which was to be discussed at the Council meeting was Mr Sweater’s generous offer to the Corporation respecting the new drain connecting “The Cave” with the Town Main.
One evening in the living room at “The Cave,” a group of the “Shining Lights” met to sort out the details for a Rummage Sale to help the unemployed. It was a casual gathering, and while they were waiting for the other members to arrive, the first to show up—Mr. Rushton, Mr. Didlum, Mr. Grinder, Mr. Oyley Sweater, the Borough Surveyor, Mr. Wireman, the electrical engineer hired as an “expert” to assess the Electric Light Works, and a couple of other gentlemen—all part of the group—took the chance to talk about several topics that they were all interested in, which would be on the agenda for the Town Council meeting the next day. First up was the issue of the vacant Kiosk on the Grand Parade. This building was owned by the Corporation, and “The Cosy Corner Refreshment Coy.,” led by Mr. Grinder, was considering renting it to open a high-end refreshment lounge if the Corporation made some specific changes and agreed to a reasonable rent. Another topic for discussion at the Council meeting was Mr. Sweater’s generous proposal to the Corporation about the new drain connecting “The Cave” with the Town Main.
The report of Mr Wireman, the electrical expert, was also to be dealt with, and afterwards a resolution in favour of the purchase of the Mugsborough Electric light and Installation Co. Ltd by the town, was to be proposed.
The report from Mr. Wireman, the electrical expert, was also to be addressed, and afterwards, a resolution in favor of the town buying the Mugsborough Electric Light and Installation Co. Ltd was to be proposed.
In addition to these matters, several other items, including a proposal by Mr Didlum for an important reform in the matter of conducting the meetings of the Council, formed subjects for animated conversation between the brigands and their host.
In addition to these matters, several other items, including a proposal by Mr. Didlum for an important reform in how the Council meetings are conducted, sparked lively discussions between the brigands and their host.
During this discussion other luminaries arrived, including several ladies and the Rev. Mr Bosher, of the Church of the Whited Sepulchre.
During this discussion, other notable people arrived, including several women and Reverend Mr. Bosher from the Church of the Whited Sepulchre.
The drawing-room of “The Cave” was now elaborately furnished. A large mirror in a richly gilt frame reached from the carved marble mantelpiece to the cornice. A magnificent clock in an alabaster case stood in the centre of the mantelpiece and was flanked by two exquisitely painted and gilded vases of Dresden ware. The windows were draped with costly hangings, the floor was covered with a luxurious carpet and expensive rugs. Sumptuously upholstered couches and easy chairs added to the comfort of the apartment, which was warmed by the immense fire of coal and oak logs that blazed and crackled in the grate.
The drawing room of “The Cave” was now beautifully furnished. A large mirror in an ornate gold frame stretched from the carved marble mantel to the ceiling. A stunning clock in an alabaster case sat in the center of the mantelpiece, flanked by two intricately painted and gilded vases from Dresden. The windows were dressed with expensive drapes, the floor covered with a plush carpet and costly rugs. Luxuriously upholstered couches and armchairs added to the comfort of the room, which was warmed by the huge fire of coal and oak logs that blazed and crackled in the fireplace.
The conversation now became general and at times highly philosophical in character, although Mr Bosher did not take much part, being too busily engaged gobbling up the biscuits and tea, and only occasionally spluttering out a reply when a remark or question was directly addressed to him.
The conversation turned into a general discussion that was sometimes very philosophical, although Mr. Bosher didn't contribute much since he was too busy devouring the biscuits and tea, only occasionally mumbling a response when someone directly asked him a question or made a comment.
This was Mr Grinder’s first visit at the house, and he expressed his admiration of the manner in which the ceiling and the walls were decorated, remarking that he had always liked this ’ere Japanese style.
This was Mr. Grinder’s first visit to the house, and he expressed his admiration for the way the ceiling and walls were decorated, noting that he has always liked this Japanese style.
Mr Bosher, with his mouth full of biscuit, mumbled that it was sweetly pretty—charming—beautifully done—must have cost a lot of money.
Mr. Bosher, with his mouth full of cookie, mumbled that it was really pretty—charming—beautifully done—must have cost a lot of money.
“Hardly wot you’d call Japanese, though, is it?” observed Didlum, looking round with the air of a connoisseur. “I should be inclined to say it was rather more of the—er—Chinese or Egyptian.”
“Hardly what you’d call Japanese, though, right?” noted Didlum, glancing around with the attitude of an expert. “I’d say it’s more of the—uh—Chinese or Egyptian.”
“Moorish,” explained Mr Sweater with a smile. “I got the idear at the Paris Exhibition. It’s simler to the decorations in the ‘Halambara’, the palace of the Sultan of Morocco. That clock there is in the same style.”
“Moorish,” explained Mr. Sweater with a smile. “I got the idea at the Paris Exhibition. It’s similar to the decorations in the ‘Halambara,’ the palace of the Sultan of Morocco. That clock over there is in the same style.”
The case of the clock referred to—which stood on a table in a corner of the room—was of fretwork, in the form of an Indian Mosque, with a pointed dome and pinnacles. This was the case that Mary Linden had sold to Didlum; the latter had had it stained a dark colour and polished and further improved it by substituting a clock of more suitable design than the one it originally held. Mr Sweater had noticed it in Didlum’s window and, seeing that the design was similar in character to the painted decorations on the ceiling and walls of his drawing-room, had purchased it.
The clock case mentioned—sitting on a table in the corner of the room—was made of intricate woodwork, shaped like an Indian Mosque, complete with a pointed dome and spires. This was the case that Mary Linden sold to Didlum, who then had it stained a dark color, polished it, and upgraded it by replacing the original clock with one that had a more fitting design. Mr. Sweater spotted it in Didlum’s window and, noticing that the design matched the painted decorations on the ceiling and walls of his living room, decided to buy it.
“I went to the Paris Exhibition meself,” said Grinder, when everyone had admired the exquisite workmanship of the clock-case. “I remember ’avin’ a look at the moon through that big telescope. I was never so surprised in me life: you can see it quite plain, and it’s round!”
“I went to the Paris Exhibition myself,” said Grinder, after everyone had admired the amazing craftsmanship of the clock case. “I remember looking at the moon through that big telescope. I’ve never been so surprised in my life: you can see it clearly, and it’s round!”
“Round?” said Didlum with a puzzled look. “Round? Of course it’s round! You didn’t used to think it was square, did yer?”
“Round?” Didlum asked, looking confused. “Round? Of course it’s round! You didn’t really think it was square, did you?”
“No, of course not, but I always used to think it was flat—like a plate, but it’s round like a football.”
“No, of course not, but I always thought it was flat—like a plate, but it’s round like a football.”
“Certainly: the moon is a very simler body to the earth,” explained Didlum, describing an aerial circle with a wave of his hand. “They moves through the air together, but the earth is always nearest to the sun and consequently once a fortnight the shadder of the earth falls on the moon and darkens it so that it’s invisible to the naked eye. The new moon is caused by the moon movin’ a little bit out of the earth’s shadder, and it keeps on comin’ more and more until we gets the full moon; and then it goes back again into the shadder; and so it keeps on.”
“Of course, the moon is very similar to the earth,” Didlum explained, drawing an imaginary circle in the air with his hand. “They move through the sky together, but the earth is always closest to the sun, so about every two weeks, the earth’s shadow falls on the moon and makes it invisible to the naked eye. The new moon happens when the moon moves just out of the earth’s shadow, and it keeps getting more visible until we see the full moon; then it goes back into the shadow, and it keeps happening like that.”
For about a minute everyone looked very solemn, and the profound silence was disturbed only by the crunching of the biscuits between the jaws of Mr Bosher, and by certain gurglings in the interior of that gentleman.
For about a minute, everyone looked very serious, and the deep silence was only broken by the crunching of the biscuits between Mr. Bosher's teeth and some gurgling sounds coming from his stomach.
“Science is a wonderful thing,” said Mr Sweater at length, wagging his head gravely, “wonderful!”
“Science is an amazing thing,” said Mr. Sweater after a moment, shaking his head seriously, “incredible!”
“Yes: but a lot of it is mere theory, you know,” observed Rushton. “Take this idear that the world is round, for instance; I fail to see it! And then they say as Hawstralia is on the other side of the globe, underneath our feet. In my opinion it’s ridiculous, because if it was true, wot’s to prevent the people droppin’ orf?”
"Yes, but a lot of it is just theory, you know," said Rushton. "Take this idea that the world is round, for example; I just don't see it! And then they say that Australia is on the other side of the globe, beneath our feet. In my opinion, it's ridiculous because if it were true, what would stop people from falling off?"
“Yes: well, of course it’s very strange,” admitted Sweater. “I’ve often thought of that myself. If it was true, we ought to be able to walk on the ceiling of this room, for instance; but of course we know that’s impossible, and I really don’t see that the other is any more reasonable.”
“Yes, well, it’s definitely very strange,” Sweater admitted. “I’ve thought about that myself a lot. If it were true, we should be able to walk on the ceiling of this room, for example; but obviously, we know that’s impossible, and I really don’t think the other idea is any more rational.”
“I’ve often noticed flies walkin’ on the ceilin’,” remarked Didlum, who felt called upon to defend the globular theory.
“I’ve often noticed flies walking on the ceiling,” said Didlum, who felt it was his duty to defend the globular theory.
“Yes; but they’re different,” replied Rushton. “Flies is provided by nature with a gluey substance which oozes out of their feet for the purpose of enabling them to walk upside down.”
“Yes; but they’re different,” replied Rushton. “Flies have a sticky substance that comes from their feet, which helps them walk upside down.”
“There’s one thing that seems to me to finish that idear once for all,” said Grinder, “and that is—water always finds its own level. You can’t get away from that; and if the world was round, as they want us to believe, all the water would run off except just a little at the top. To my mind, that settles the whole argymint.”
"There's one thing that makes it clear to me that we should end that idea once and for all," said Grinder, "and that's that water always finds its own level. You can't escape that; and if the world were round, as they're trying to convince us, all the water would run off except for a little bit at the top. In my opinion, that settles the whole argument."
“Another thing that gets over me,” continued Rushton, “is this: according to science, the earth turns round on its axle at the rate of twenty miles a minit. Well, what about when a lark goes up in the sky and stays there about a quarter of an hour? Why, if it was true that the earth was turnin’ round at that rate all the time, when the bird came down it would find itself ’undreds of miles away from the place where it went up from! But that doesn’t ’appen at all; the bird always comes down in the same spot.”
“Another thing that gets to me,” continued Rushton, “is this: according to science, the earth spins on its axis at a rate of twenty miles a minute. Well, what about when a lark goes up into the sky and stays there for about fifteen minutes? If it were true that the earth was spinning at that speed all the time, when the bird came down, it would find itself hundreds of miles away from where it took off! But that doesn’t happen at all; the bird always comes back to the same spot.”
“Yes, and the same thing applies to balloons and flyin’ machines,” said Grinder. “If it was true that the world is spinnin’ round on its axle so quick as that, if a man started out from Calais to fly to Dover, by the time he got to England he’d find ’imself in North America, or p’r’aps farther off still.”
"Yeah, and the same goes for balloons and flying machines," said Grinder. "If it were true that the world is spinning on its axis that fast, if a guy took off from Calais to fly to Dover, by the time he reached England, he'd end up in North America, or even farther away."
“And if it was true that the world goes round the sun at the rate they makes out, when a balloon went up, the earth would run away from it! They’d never be able to get back again!” remarked Rushton.
“And if it’s really true that the world orbits the sun at the speed they claim, then when a balloon goes up, the earth would just move away from it! They’d never be able to get back down again!” Rushton said.
This was so obvious that nearly everyone said there was probably something in it, and Didlum could think of no reply. Mr Bosher upon being appealed to for his opinion, explained that science was alright in its way, but unreliable: the things scientists said yesterday they contradicted today, and what they said today they would probably repudiate tomorrow. It was necessary to be very cautious before accepting any of their assertions.
This was so obvious that almost everyone said there was probably something to it, and Didlum couldn't think of a response. Mr. Bosher, when asked for his opinion, explained that science was fine in its own way, but unreliable: the things scientists claimed yesterday were contradicted today, and what they said today they would likely deny tomorrow. It was important to be very careful before accepting any of their claims.
“Talking about science,” said Grinder, as the holy man relapsed into silence and started on another biscuit and a fresh cup of tea. “Talking about science reminds me of a conversation I ’ad with Dr Weakling the other day. You know, he believes we’re all descended from monkeys.”
“Talking about science,” Grinder said, as the holy man fell silent and started on another biscuit and a fresh cup of tea. “Talking about science reminds me of a conversation I had with Dr. Weakling the other day. You know, he believes we’re all descended from monkeys.”
Everyone laughed; the thing was so absurd: the idea of placing intellectual beings on a level with animals!
Everyone laughed; it was so ridiculous: the idea of putting intelligent beings on the same level as animals!
“But just wait till you hear how nicely I flattened ’im out,” continued Grinder. “After we’d been arguin’ a long time about wot ’e called everlution or some sich name, and a lot more tommy-rot that I couldn’t make no ’ead or tail of—and to tell you the truth I don’t believe ’e understood ’arf of it ’imself—I ses to ’im, ‘Well,’ I ses, ‘if it’s true that we’re hall descended from monkeys,’ I ses, ‘I think your famly must ’ave left orf where mine begun.’”
“But just wait until you hear how well I put him in his place,” Grinder continued. “After we’d been arguing for a long time about what he called evolution or some such term, and a lot more nonsense that I couldn’t make heads or tails of—and to be honest, I don't think he understood half of it himself—I said to him, ‘Well,’ I said, ‘if it’s true that we’re all descended from monkeys,’ I said, ‘I think your family must have branched off where mine started.’”
In the midst of the laughter that greeted the conclusion of Grinder’s story it was seen that Mr Bosher had become black in the face. He was waving his arms and writhing about like one in a fit, his goggle eyes bursting from their sockets, whilst his huge stomach quivering spasmodically, alternately contracted and expanded as if it were about to explode.
In the middle of the laughter that followed Grinder’s story, people noticed that Mr. Bosher was turning pale with anger. He was flailing his arms and squirming like he was having a seizure, his bulging eyes nearly popping out of his head, while his massive stomach trembled uncontrollably, alternating between tightening and loosening as if it was going to burst.
In the exuberance of his mirth, the unfortunate disciple had swallowed two biscuits at once. Everybody rushed to his assistance, Grinder and Didlum seized an arm and a shoulder each and forced his head down. Rushton punched him in the back and the ladies shrieked with alarm. They gave him a big drink of tea to help to get the biscuits down, and when he at last succeeded in swallowing them he sat in the armchair with his eyes red-rimmed and full of tears, which ran down over his white, flabby face.
In his laughter, the poor disciple had swallowed two biscuits at once. Everyone rushed to help him, with Grinder and Didlum grabbing one arm and a shoulder each to push his head down. Rushton punched him in the back, and the ladies screamed in alarm. They gave him a big drink of tea to help wash the biscuits down, and when he finally managed to swallow them, he sat in the armchair with red-rimmed eyes full of tears that streamed down his white, flabby face.
The arrival of the other members of the committee put an end to the interesting discussion, and they shortly afterwards proceeded with the business for which the meeting had been called—the arrangements for the forthcoming Rummage Sale.
The arrival of the other committee members stopped the interesting discussion, and they soon continued with the purpose of the meeting—the plans for the upcoming Rummage Sale.
Chapter 39
The Brigands at Work
The next day, at the meeting of the Town Council, Mr Wireman’s report concerning the Electric Light Works was read. The expert’s opinion was so favourable—and it was endorsed by the Borough Engineer, Mr Oyley Sweater—that a resolution was unanimously carried in favour of acquiring the Works for the town, and a secret committee was appointed to arrange the preliminaries. Alderman Sweater then suggested that a suitable honorarium be voted to Mr Wireman for his services. This was greeted with a murmur of approval from most of the members, and Mr Didlum rose with the intention of proposing a resolution to that effect when he was interrupted by Alderman Grinder, who said he couldn’t see no sense in giving the man a thing like that. “Why not give him a sum of money?”
The next day, at the Town Council meeting, Mr. Wireman’s report on the Electric Light Works was shared. The expert’s opinion was very positive—and it was supported by the Borough Engineer, Mr. Oyley Sweater—so a resolution was passed unanimously to acquire the Works for the town, and a secret committee was formed to handle the preliminary arrangements. Alderman Sweater then suggested that a suitable honorarium be given to Mr. Wireman for his services. This was met with a murmur of approval from most members, and Mr. Didlum stood up intending to propose a resolution to that effect when he was interrupted by Alderman Grinder, who said he didn’t see any sense in giving the man something like that. “Why not just give him a sum of money?”
Several members said “Hear, hear,” to this, but some of the others laughed.
Several members said, “Hear, hear,” to this, but some of the others laughed.
“I can’t see nothing to laugh at,” cried Grinder angrily. “For my part I wouldn’t give you tuppence for all the honorariums in the country. I move that we pay ’im a sum of money.”
“I can’t see anything to laugh at,” shouted Grinder angrily. “As far as I’m concerned, I wouldn’t pay you a dime for all the honors in the country. I propose we give him some money.”
“I’ll second that,” said another member of the Band—one of those who had cried “Hear, Hear.”
“I'll second that," said another member of the Band—one of those who had shouted "Hear, Hear."
Alderman Sweater said that there seemed to be a little misunderstanding and explained that an honorarium WAS a sum of money.
Alderman Sweater said that there seemed to be a slight misunderstanding and explained that an honorarium was a sum of money.
“Oh, well, in that case I’ll withdraw my resolution,” said Grinder. “I thought you wanted to give ’im a ’luminated address or something like that.”
“Oh, well, in that case I’ll take back my proposal,” said Grinder. “I thought you wanted to give him an illuminated address or something like that.”
Didlum now moved that a letter of thanks and a fee of fifty guineas be voted to Mr Wireman, and this was also unanimously agreed to. Dr Weakling said that it seemed rather a lot, but he did not go so far as to vote against it.
Didlum then proposed that a thank-you letter and a payment of fifty guineas be given to Mr. Wireman, and this was also approved unanimously. Dr. Weakling mentioned that it seemed like quite a lot, but he didn’t go as far as to vote against it.
The next business was the proposal that the Corporation should take over the drain connecting Mr Sweater’s house with the town main. Mr Sweater—being a public-spirited man—proposed to hand this connecting drain—which ran through a private road—over to the Corporation to be theirs and their successors for ever, on condition that they would pay him the cost of construction—£55—and agreed to keep it in proper repair. After a brief discussion it was decided to take over the drain on the terms offered, and then Councillor Didlum proposed a vote of thanks to Alderman Sweater for his generosity in the matter: this was promptly seconded by Councillor Rushton and would have been carried nem. con., but for the disgraceful conduct of Dr Weakling, who had the bad taste to suggest that the amount was about double what the drain could possibly have cost to construct, that it was of no use to the Corporation at all, and that they would merely acquire the liability to keep it in repair.
The next item on the agenda was the proposal for the Corporation to take over the drain that connected Mr. Sweater’s house to the town’s main drain. Mr. Sweater, being a community-minded individual, offered to transfer this connecting drain—which ran along a private road—to the Corporation for them and their successors forever, on the condition that they would reimburse him for the construction cost of £55 and agree to keep it properly maintained. After a brief discussion, it was decided to accept the drain on the proposed terms, and then Councillor Didlum suggested a vote of thanks to Alderman Sweater for his generosity in this matter. This was quickly seconded by Councillor Rushton and would have passed unanimously, except for the unfortunate comments made by Dr. Weakling, who had the bad taste to claim that the amount was nearly double what the drain could have cost to build, that it was useless to the Corporation, and that they would merely be taking on the responsibility for its maintenance.
However, no one took the trouble to reply to Weakling, and the Band proceeded to the consideration of the next business, which was Mr Grinder’s offer—on behalf of the “Cosy Corner Refreshment Company”—to take the Kiosk on the Grand Parade. Mr Grinder submitted a plan of certain alterations that he would require the Corporation to make at the Kiosk, and, provided the Council agreed to do this work he was willing to take a lease of the place for five years at £20 per year.
However, no one bothered to respond to Weakling, and the Band moved on to the next item on the agenda, which was Mr. Grinder’s proposal—on behalf of the “Cosy Corner Refreshment Company”—to lease the Kiosk on the Grand Parade. Mr. Grinder presented a plan for some changes he needed the Corporation to make at the Kiosk, and if the Council agreed to do this work, he was ready to lease the place for five years at £20 a year.
Councillor Didlum proposed that the offer of the “Cosy Corner Refreshment Co. Ltd” be accepted and the required alterations proceeded with at once. The Kiosk had brought in no rent for nearly two years, but, apart from that consideration, if they accepted this offer they would be able to set some of the unemployed to work. (Applause.)
Councillor Didlum recommended accepting the offer from “Cosy Corner Refreshment Co. Ltd” and starting the necessary changes immediately. The Kiosk hadn’t generated any rent for almost two years, but beyond that point, by accepting this offer, they could employ some of the unemployed. (Applause.)
Councillor Rushton seconded.
Councillor Rushton agreed.
Dr Weakling pointed out that as the proposed alterations would cost about £175—according to the estimate of the Borough Engineer—and, the rent being only £20 a year, it would mean that the Council would be £75 out of pocket at the end of the five years; to say nothing of the expense of keeping the place in repair during all that time. (Disturbance.) He moved as an amendment that the alterations be made, and that they then invite tenders, and let the place to the highest bidder. (Great uproar.)
Dr. Weakling noted that since the proposed changes would cost around £175—based on the Borough Engineer's estimate—and the rent was only £20 a year, the Council would end up £75 short after five years; not to mention the costs of maintaining the property throughout that time. (Disturbance.) He suggested as an amendment that the alterations be made, then invite bids, and lease the place to the highest bidder. (Great uproar.)
Councillor Rushton said he was disgusted with the attitude taken up by that man Weakling. (Applause.) Perhaps it was hardly right to call him a man. (Hear! Hear!) In the matter of these alterations they had had the use of Councillor Grinder’s brains: it was he who first thought of making these improvements in the Kiosk, and therefore he—or rather the company he represented—had a moral right to the tenancy. (Loud cheers.)
Councillor Rushton said he was appalled by the attitude shown by that guy Weakling. (Applause.) Maybe it wasn’t entirely fair to call him a man. (Hear! Hear!) When it came to these changes, they had benefited from Councillor Grinder’s insights: he was the one who initially proposed the improvements to the Kiosk, so he—or rather the company he represents—had a moral right to the lease. (Loud cheers.)
Dr Weakling said that he thought it was understood that when a man was elected to that Council it was because he was supposed to be willing to use his brains for the benefit of his constituents. (Sardonic laughter.)
Dr. Weakling mentioned that he believed it was clear that when someone was elected to that Council, it was because they were expected to use their intelligence for the benefit of their constituents. (Sardonic laughter.)
The Mayor asked if there was any seconder to Weakling’s amendment, and as there was not the original proposition was put and carried.
The Mayor asked if anyone would second Weakling’s amendment, and since there wasn’t, the original proposal was put to a vote and passed.
Councillor Rushton suggested that a large shelter with seating accommodation for about two hundred persons should be erected on the Grand Parade near the Kiosk. The shelter would serve as a protection against rain, or the rays of the sun in summer. It would add materially to the comfort of visitors and would be a notable addition to the attractions of the town.
Councillor Rushton proposed building a large shelter with seating for about two hundred people on the Grand Parade near the Kiosk. The shelter would provide protection from the rain and the sun in summer. It would greatly enhance the comfort of visitors and be a significant addition to the town's attractions.
Councillor Didlum said it was a very good idear, and proposed that the Surveyor be instructed to get out the plans.
Councillor Didlum said it was a really good idea and suggested that the Surveyor be directed to prepare the plans.
Dr Weakling opposed the motion. (Laughter.) It seemed to him that the object was to benefit, not the town, but Mr Grinder. (Disturbance.) If this shelter were erected, it would increase the value of the Kiosk as a refreshment bar by a hundred per cent. If Mr Grinder wanted a shelter for his customers he should pay for it himself. (Uproar.) He (Dr Weakling) was sorry to have to say it, but he could not help thinking that this was a Put-up job. (Loud cries of “Withdraw” “Apologize” “Cast ’im out” and terrific uproar.)
Dr. Weakling opposed the motion. (Laughter.) He believed the goal was to help not the town, but Mr. Grinder. (Disturbance.) If this shelter were built, it would boost the value of the Kiosk as a refreshment bar by a hundred percent. If Mr. Grinder wanted a shelter for his customers, he should pay for it himself. (Uproar.) He (Dr. Weakling) regretted to say it, but he couldn't shake the feeling that this was set up. (Loud shouts of “Withdraw,” “Apologize,” “Get him out,” and a huge uproar.)
Weakling did not apologize or withdraw, but he said no more. Didlum’s proposition was carried, and the “Band” went on to the next item on the agenda, which was a proposal by Councillor Didlum to increase the salary of Mr Oyley Sweater, the Borough Engineer, from fifteen pounds to seventeen pounds per week.
Weakling didn’t apologize or back down, but he didn’t say anything else. Didlum’s proposal passed, and the “Band” moved on to the next item on the agenda, which was Councillor Didlum’s suggestion to raise Mr. Oyley Sweater’s salary, the Borough Engineer, from fifteen pounds to seventeen pounds a week.
Councillor Didlum said that when they had a good man they ought to appreciate him. (Applause.) Compared with other officials, the Borough Engineer was not fairly paid. (Hear, hear.) The magistrates’ clerk received seventeen pounds a week. The Town Clerk seventeen pounds per week. He did not wish it to be understood that he thought those gentlemen were overpaid—far from it. (Hear, hear.) It was not that they got too much but that the Engineer got too little. How could they expect a man like that to exist on a paltry fifteen pounds a week? Why, it was nothing more or less than sweating! (Hear, hear.) He had much pleasure in moving that the Borough Engineer’s salary be increased to seventeen pounds a week, and that his annual holiday be extended from a fortnight to one calendar month with hard la—he begged pardon—with full pay. (Loud cheers.)
Councillor Didlum said that when they have a good person, they should appreciate them. (Applause.) Compared to other officials, the Borough Engineer isn’t paid fairly. (Hear, hear.) The magistrates’ clerk earns seventeen pounds a week. The Town Clerk earns seventeen pounds a week. He didn’t want it to be thought that he believed those gentlemen were overpaid—far from it. (Hear, hear.) It’s not that they make too much, but that the Engineer makes too little. How can they expect someone like that to live on a measly fifteen pounds a week? That’s basically exploitation! (Hear, hear.) He was pleased to propose that the Borough Engineer’s salary be raised to seventeen pounds a week, and that his annual vacation be increased from two weeks to one full month with full pay. (Loud cheers.)
Councillor Rushton said that he did not propose to make a long speech—it was not necessary. He would content himself with formally seconding Councillor Didlum’s excellent proposition. (Applause.)
Councillor Rushton stated that he didn’t intend to give a lengthy speech—it wasn’t needed. He would simply support Councillor Didlum’s excellent proposal. (Applause.)
Councillor Weakling, whose rising was greeted with derisive laughter, said he must oppose the resolution. He wished it to be understood that he was not actuated by any feeling of personal animosity towards the Borough Engineer, but at the same time he considered it his duty to say that in his (Dr Weakling’s) opinion, that official would be dear at half the price they were now paying him. (Disturbance.) He did not appear to understand his business, nearly all the work that was done cost in the end about double what the Borough Engineer estimated it could be done for. (Liar.) He considered him to be a grossly incompetent person (uproar) and was of opinion that if they were to advertise they could get dozens of better men who would be glad to do the work for five pounds a week. He moved that Mr Oyley Sweater be asked to resign and that they advertise for a man at five pounds a week. (Great uproar.)
Councillor Weakling, who was met with mocking laughter, stated that he had to oppose the resolution. He wanted it to be clear that he wasn’t motivated by any personal dislike towards the Borough Engineer, but he felt it was his duty to say that, in his (Dr. Weakling’s) opinion, that official was not worth even half of what they were currently paying him. (Disturbance.) He didn’t seem to understand his job; almost all the work done ultimately cost about double what the Borough Engineer estimated it would. (Liar.) He considered him to be extremely incompetent (uproar) and believed that if they put out an ad, they could find dozens of better candidates who would be happy to take the job for five pounds a week. He moved that Mr. Oyley Sweater be asked to resign and that they advertise for a new hire at five pounds a week. (Great uproar.)
Councillor Grinder rose to a point of order. He appealed to the Chairman to squash the amendment. (Applause.)
Councillor Grinder stood up to address a point of order. He urged the Chairman to dismiss the amendment. (Applause.)
Councillor Didlum remarked that he supposed Councillor Grinder meant “quash”: in that case, he would support the suggestion.
Councillor Didlum said that he assumed Councillor Grinder meant "quash": if that's the case, he would back the suggestion.
Councillor Grinder said it was about time they put a stopper on that feller Weakling. He (Grinder) did not care whether they called it squashing or quashing; it was all the same so long as they nipped him in the bud. (Cheers.) The man was a disgrace to the Council; always interfering and hindering the business.
Councillor Grinder said it was about time they put an end to that guy Weakling. He (Grinder) didn’t care whether they called it stopping or shutting down; it was all the same as long as they dealt with him early on. (Cheers.) The guy was a disgrace to the Council; always getting in the way and holding up the work.
The Mayor—Alderman Sweater—said that he did not think it consistent with the dignity of that Council to waste any more time over this scurrilous amendment. (Applause.) He was proud to say that it had never even been seconded, and therefore he would put Mr Didlum’s resolution—a proposition which he had no hesitation in saying reflected the highest credit upon that gentleman and upon all those who supported it. (Vociferous cheers.)
The Mayor, Alderman Sweater, stated that he didn't believe it was fitting for the Council to waste any more time on this disrespectful amendment. (Applause.) He was proud to mention that it hadn’t even been seconded, and so he would present Mr. Didlum’s resolution—a proposal that he confidently said brought great honor to both that gentleman and everyone who supported it. (Loud cheers.)
All those who were in favour signified their approval in the customary manner, and as Weakling was the only one opposed, the resolution was carried and the meeting proceeded to the next business.
All those who supported it showed their approval in the usual way, and since Weakling was the only one against it, the resolution passed and the meeting moved on to the next item.
Councillor Rushton said that several influential ratepayers and employers of labour had complained to him about the high wages of the Corporation workmen, some of whom were paid sevenpence-halfpenny an hour. Sevenpence an hour was the maximum wage paid to skilled workmen by private employers in that town, and he failed to see why the Corporation should pay more. (Hear, hear.) It had a very bad effect on the minds of the men in the employment of private firms, tending to make them dissatisfied with their wages. The same state of affairs prevailed with regard to the unskilled labourers in the Council’s employment. Private employers could get that class of labour for fourpence-halfpenny or fivepence an hour, and yet the corporation paid fivepence-halfpenny and even sixpence for the same class of work. (Shame.) It was not fair to the ratepayers. (Hear, hear.) Considering that the men in the employment of the Corporation had almost constant work, if there was to be a difference at all, they should get not more, but less, than those who worked for private firms. (Cheers.) He moved that the wages of the Corporation workmen be reduced in all cases to the same level as those paid by private firms.
Councillor Rushton said that several influential taxpayers and employers had complained to him about the high wages of the Corporation workers, some of whom were paid seven and a half pence an hour. Seven pence an hour was the maximum wage paid to skilled workers by private employers in that town, and he couldn’t understand why the Corporation should pay more. (Hear, hear.) This had a very negative effect on the morale of the men working for private companies, making them dissatisfied with their pay. The same situation applied to the unskilled laborers employed by the Council. Private employers could hire that type of labor for four and a half pence or five pence an hour, yet the Corporation paid five and a half pence and even six pence for the same kind of work. (Shame.) It was unfair to the taxpayers. (Hear, hear.) Considering that the men working for the Corporation had almost consistent work, if there was to be any difference at all, they should earn not more, but less, than those working for private companies. (Cheers.) He moved that the wages of the Corporation workers be reduced in all cases to match those paid by private firms.
Councillor Grinder seconded. He said it amounted to a positive scandal. Why, in the summer-time some of these men drew as much as 35/- in a single week! (Shame.) and it was quite common for unskilled labourers—fellers who did nothing but the very hardest and most laborious work, sich as carrying sacks of cement, or digging up the roads to get at the drains, and sich-like easy jobs—to walk off with 25/- a week! (Sensation.) He had often noticed some of these men swaggering about the town on Sundays, dressed like millionaires and cigared up! They seemed quite a different class of men from those who worked for private firms, and to look at the way some of their children was dressed you’d think their fathers was Cabinet Minstrels! No wonder the ratepayers complained of the high rates. Another grievance was that all the Corporation workmen were allowed two days’ holiday every year, in addition to the Bank Holidays, and were paid for them! (Cries of “Shame”, “Scandalous”, “Disgraceful”, etc.) No private contractor paid his men for Bank Holidays, and why should the Corporation do so? He had much pleasure in seconding Councillor Rushton’s resolution.
Councillor Grinder seconded the motion. He said it was basically a scandal. In the summer, some of these guys made as much as £35 in a single week! (Shame.) It was pretty common for unskilled laborers—guys who did nothing but the toughest and most grueling work, like carrying bags of cement or digging up roads to access the drains, and other similar tough jobs—to take home £25 a week! (Sensation.) He often noticed some of these men strutting around town on Sundays, dressed like millionaires and smoking cigars! They seemed like a completely different class of people compared to those who worked for private companies, and just by looking at how some of their kids were dressed, you'd think their dads were Cabinet Ministers! No wonder the ratepayers were complaining about the high taxes. Another issue was that all the Corporation workers got two days off every year, in addition to the Bank Holidays, and they were paid for it! (Cries of “Shame,” “Scandalous,” “Disgraceful,” etc.) No private contractor paid his workers for Bank Holidays, so why should the Corporation do that? He was pleased to second Councillor Rushton’s resolution.
Councillor Weakling opposed the motion. He thought that 35/- a week was little enough for a man to keep a wife and family with (Rot), even if all the men got it regularly, which they did not. Members should consider what was the average amount per week throughout the whole year, not merely the busy time, and if they did that they would find that even the skilled men did not average more than 25/- a week, and in many cases not so much. If this subject had not been introduced by Councillor Rushton, he (Dr Weakling) had intended to propose that the wages of the Corporation workmen should be increased to the standard recognized by the Trades Unions. (Loud laughter.) It had been proved that the notoriously short lives of the working people—whose average span of life was about twenty years less than that of the well-to-do classes—their increasingly inferior physique, and the high rate of mortality amongst their children was caused by the wretched remuneration they received for hard and tiring work, the excessive number of hours they have to work, when employed, the bad quality of their food, the badly constructed and insanitary homes their poverty compels them to occupy, and the anxiety, worry, and depression of mind they have to suffer when out of employment. (Cries of “Rot”, “Bosh”, and loud laughter.) Councillor Didlum said, “Rot”. It was a very good word to describe the disease that was sapping the foundations of society and destroying the health and happiness and the very lives of so many of their fellow countrymen and women. (Renewed merriment and shouts of “Go and buy a red tie.”) He appealed to the members to reject the resolution. He was very glad to say that he believed it was true that the workmen in the employ of the Corporation were a little better off than those in the employ of private contractors, and if it were so, it was as it should be. They had need to be better off than the poverty-stricken, half-starved poor wretches who worked for private firms.
Councillor Weakling opposed the motion. He believed that £35 a week was barely enough for a man to support a wife and family (Rot), especially considering that not all the men received it consistently, which they didn't. Members should think about what the average amount was per week over the entire year, not just during busy periods, and they would see that even skilled workers averaged no more than £25 a week, and often even less. If Councillor Rushton hadn't brought this topic up, he (Dr. Weakling) had planned to suggest that the wages of the Corporation workers should be raised to the level recognized by the Trade Unions. (Loud laughter.) It has been demonstrated that the notoriously shorter lifespan of working people—whose average lifespan was about twenty years less than that of the wealthier classes—their increasingly poor physical health, and the high mortality rate among their children are all the result of the miserable pay they receive for hard, exhausting work, the excessive hours they are forced to work when employed, the low quality of their food, the poorly built and unsanitary homes their poverty forces them to live in, and the stress, worry, and depression they experience when unemployed. (Cries of “Rot,” “Bosh,” and loud laughter.) Councillor Didlum shouted, “Rot.” It was a perfect word to describe the problem that was undermining society and ruining the health, happiness, and lives of so many of their fellow countrymen and women. (More laughter and shouts of “Go and buy a red tie.”) He urged the members to reject the resolution. He was pleased to say that he believed it was true that the workers employed by the Corporation were slightly better off than those working for private contractors, and if that were the case, it was as it should be. They needed to be better off than the impoverished, half-starved individuals who worked for private firms.
Councillor Didlum said that it was very evident that Dr Weakling had obtained his seat on that Council by false pretences. If he had told the ratepayers that he was a Socialist, they would never have elected him. (Hear, hear.) Practically every Christian minister in the country would agree with him (Didlum) when he said that the poverty of the working classes was caused not by the “wretched remuneration they receive as wages”, but by Drink. (Loud applause.) And he was very sure that the testimony of the clergy of all denominations was more to be relied upon than the opinion of a man like Dr Weakling. (Hear, hear.)
Councillor Didlum stated that it was clear that Dr. Weakling had secured his position on the Council under false pretenses. If he had informed the voters that he was a Socialist, they would never have elected him. (Hear, hear.) Almost every Christian minister in the country would agree with him (Didlum) when he said that the poverty of the working class was caused not by the “pitiful wages they receive,” but by alcohol. (Loud applause.) And he was confident that the insights of clergy from all denominations were more trustworthy than the views of a man like Dr. Weakling. (Hear, hear.)
Dr Weakling said that if some of the clergymen referred to or some of the members of the council had to exist and toil amid the same sordid surroundings, overcrowding and ignorance as some of the working classes, they would probably seek to secure some share of pleasure and forgetfulness in drink themselves! (Great uproar and shouts of “Order”, “Withdraw”, “Apologize”.)
Dr. Weakling said that if some of the clergymen mentioned or some of the council members had to live and work in the same grim conditions, overcrowding, and ignorance as some of the working class, they would probably be looking to grab some pleasure and escape in drink themselves! (Great uproar and shouts of “Order,” “Withdraw,” “Apologize.”)
Councillor Grinder said that even if it was true that the haverage lives of the working classes was twenty years shorter than those of the better classes, he could not see what it had got to do with Dr Weakling. (Hear, hear.) So long as the working class was contented to die twenty years before their time, he failed to see what it had got to do with other people. They was not runnin’ short of workers, was they? There was still plenty of ’em left. (Laughter.) So long as the workin’ class was satisfied to die orf—let ’em die orf! It was a free country. (Applause.) The workin’ class adn’t arst Dr Weakling to stick up for them, had they? If they wasn’t satisfied, they would stick up for theirselves! The working men didn’t want the likes of Dr Weakling to stick up for them, and they would let ’im know it when the next election came round. If he (Grinder) was a wordly man, he would not mind betting that the workin’ men of Dr Weakling’s ward would give him “the dirty kick out” next November. (Applause.)
Councillor Grinder said that even if it were true that the average lifespan of the working class was twenty years shorter than that of the upper class, he couldn't see how that was Dr. Weakling's problem. (Hear, hear.) As long as the working class was okay with dying twenty years early, he didn’t understand how it concerned anyone else. They weren’t running low on workers, were they? There were still plenty of them around. (Laughter.) As long as the working class was fine with dying off—let them die off! It’s a free country. (Applause.) The working class didn’t ask Dr. Weakling to defend them, did they? If they weren’t satisfied, they would stand up for themselves! The working men didn’t want someone like Dr. Weakling to advocate for them, and they’d make that clear when the next election came around. If he (Grinder) were a savvy guy, he wouldn’t be surprised if the working men in Dr. Weakling’s district gave him “the dirty kick out” next November. (Applause.)
Councillor Weakling, who knew that this was probably true, made no further protest. Rushton’s proposition was carried, and then the Clerk announced that the next item was the resolution Mr Didlum had given notice of at the last meeting, and the Mayor accordingly called upon that gentleman.
Councillor Weakling, who realized that this was likely true, didn't protest any further. Rushton’s proposal passed, and then the Clerk announced that the next item was the resolution Mr. Didlum had mentioned at the last meeting, so the Mayor called on him.
Councillor Didlum, who was received with loud cheers, said that unfortunately a certain member of that Council seemed to think he had a right to oppose nearly everything that was brought forward.
Councillor Didlum, welcomed with loud cheers, expressed that unfortunately, a particular member of that Council appeared to believe he had the right to oppose almost everything that was presented.
(The majority of the members of the Band glared malignantly at Weakling.)
(The majority of the members of the Band glared maliciously at Weakling.)
He hoped that for once the individual he referred to would have the decency to restrain himself, because the resolution he (Didlum) was about to have the honour of proposing was one that he believed no right-minded man—no matter what his politics or religious opinions—could possibly object to; and he trusted that for the credit of the Council it would be entered on the records as an unopposed motion. The resolution was as follows:
He hoped that for once the person he was talking about would have the decency to hold back, because the resolution he (Didlum) was about to propose was one that he believed no reasonable person—regardless of their politics or religious beliefs—could possibly disagree with; and he trusted that for the sake of the Council's reputation, it would be recorded as an unopposed motion. The resolution was as follows:
“That from this date all the meetings of this Council shall be opened with prayer and closed with the singing of the Doxology.” (Loud applause.)
“That from this date all the meetings of this Council shall start with prayer and end with the singing of the Doxology.” (Loud applause.)
Councillor Rushton seconded the resolution, which was also supported by Mr Grinder, who said that at a time like the present, when there was sich a lot of infiddles about who said that we all came from monkeys, the Council would be showing a good example to the working classes by adopting the resolution.
Councillor Rushton seconded the resolution, which was also supported by Mr. Grinder, who said that at a time like now, when there are so many skeptics claiming that we all descended from monkeys, the Council would be setting a good example for the working class by adopting the resolution.
Councillor Weakling said nothing, so the new rule was carried nem. con., and as there was no more business to be done it was put into operation for the first time there and then. Mr Sweater conducting the singing with a roll of paper—the plan of the drain of “The Cave”—and each member singing a different tune.
Councillor Weakling stayed silent, so the new rule was passed unanimously, and since there was no more business to discuss, it was put into effect immediately. Mr. Sweater led the singing with a roll of paper—the blueprint for the drain of “The Cave”—and each member sang a different tune.
Weakling withdrew during the singing, and afterwards, before the Band dispersed, it was agreed that a certain number of them were to meet the Chief at the Cave, on the following evening to arrange the details of the proposed raid on the finances of the town in connection with the sale of the Electric Light Works.
Weakling stepped back during the singing, and afterward, before the Band broke up, they agreed that some of them would meet the Chief at the Cave the next evening to sort out the details of the planned raid on the town's finances related to the sale of the Electric Light Works.
Chapter 40
Vive la System!
The alterations which the Corporation had undertaken to make in the Kiosk on the Grand Parade provided employment for several carpenters and plasterers for about three weeks, and afterwards for several painters. This fact was sufficient to secure the working men’s unqualified approval of the action of the Council in letting the place to Grinder, and Councillor Weakling’s opposition—the reasons of which they did not take the trouble to inquire into or understand—they as heartily condemned. All they knew or cared was that he had tried to prevent the work being done, and that he had referred in insulting terms to the working men of the town. What right had he to call them half-starved, poverty-stricken, poor wretches? If it came to being poverty-stricken, according to all accounts, he wasn’t any too well orf hisself. Some of those blokes who went swaggering about in frock-coats and pot-’ats was just as ’ard up as anyone else if the truth was known.
The changes that the Corporation decided to make in the Kiosk on the Grand Parade provided work for several carpenters and plasterers for about three weeks, and then for some painters afterward. This was enough to earn the working men’s full support for the Council's decision to lease the place to Grinder, while they strongly condemned Councillor Weakling’s opposition—without bothering to ask why he was against it or to understand his reasons. All they knew was that he tried to stop the work from happening and insulted the working men of the town. What right did he have to call them half-starved, poverty-stricken, poor wretches? If anyone was poverty-stricken, by all accounts, he wasn’t in any better shape himself. Some of those guys who swaggered around in frock coats and top hats were just as hard up as anyone else if the truth be told.
As for the Corporation workmen, it was quite right that their wages should be reduced. Why should they get more money than anyone else?
As for the Corporation workers, it was completely fair for their wages to be cut. Why should they earn more than anyone else?
“It’s us what’s got to find the money,” they said. “We’re the ratepayers, and why should we have to pay them more wages than we get ourselves? And why should they be paid for holidays any more than us?”
“It’s us who needs to find the money,” they said. “We’re the ratepayers, so why should we have to pay them more in wages than we earn ourselves? And why should they get paid for holidays more than we do?”
During the next few weeks the dearth of employment continued, for, of course, the work at the Kiosk and the few others jobs that were being done did not make much difference to the general situation. Groups of workmen stood at the corners or walked aimlessly about the streets. Most of them no longer troubled to go to the different firms to ask for work, they were usually told that they would be sent for if wanted.
During the next few weeks, the lack of jobs continued because the work at the Kiosk and a few other jobs available didn't really improve the overall situation. Groups of workers stood at the corners or walked aimlessly around the streets. Most of them had stopped bothering to go to the different companies to ask for work; they were often told that they would be contacted if they were needed.
During this time Owen did his best to convert the other men to his views. He had accumulated a little library of Socialist books and pamphlets which he lent to those he hoped to influence. Some of them took these books and promised, with the air of men who were conferring a great favour, that they would read them. As a rule, when they returned them it was with vague expressions of approval, but they usually evinced a disinclination to discuss the contents in detail because, in nine instances out of ten, they had not attempted to read them. As for those who did make a half-hearted effort to do so, in the majority of cases their minds were so rusty and stultified by long years of disuse, that, although the pamphlets were generally written in such simple language that a child might have understood, the argument was generally too obscure to be grasped by men whose minds were addled by the stories told them by their Liberal and Tory masters. Some, when Owen offered to lend them some books or pamphlets refused to accept them, and others who did him the great favour of accepting them, afterwards boasted that they had used them as toilet paper.
During this time, Owen did his best to persuade the other men to see things his way. He had built up a small collection of Socialist books and pamphlets that he lent to those he hoped to influence. Some of them accepted the books and promised, with the attitude of people doing a big favor, that they would read them. Generally, when they returned them, it was with vague comments of approval, but they usually showed little interest in discussing the contents in detail because, in nine out of ten cases, they hadn’t even tried to read them. As for those who made a half-hearted attempt, most of their minds were so rusty and dulled by years of disuse that, even though the pamphlets were generally written in simple language that a child could understand, the arguments were often too unclear for men whose thoughts were clouded by the stories told to them by their Liberal and Tory leaders. Some, when Owen offered to lend them books or pamphlets, refused to take them, while others who did him the "great favor" of accepting them later bragged that they used them as toilet paper.
Owen frequently entered into long arguments with the other men, saying that it was the duty of the State to provide productive work for all those who were willing to do it. Some few of them listened like men who only vaguely understood, but were willing to be convinced.
Owen often got into lengthy debates with the other men, arguing that it was the government's responsibility to provide productive work for everyone who was ready to do it. A few of them listened like people who only half understood but were open to being persuaded.
“Yes, mate. It’s right enough what you say,” they would remark. “Something ought to be done.”
“Yes, dude. What you’re saying is spot on,” they would reply. “Something needs to be done.”
Others ridiculed this doctrine of State employment: It was all very fine, but where was the money to come from? And then those who had been disposed to agree with Owen could relapse into their old apathy.
Others mocked this idea of government jobs: It sounded good, but where would the money come from? And then those who had been inclined to agree with Owen could fall back into their old indifference.
There were others who did not listen so quietly, but shouted with many curses that it was the likes of such fellows as Owen who were responsible for all the depression in trade. All this talk about Socialism and State employment was frightening Capital out of the country. Those who had money were afraid to invest it in industries, or to have any work done for fear they would be robbed. When Owen quoted statistics to prove that as far as commerce and the quantity produced of commodities of all kinds was concerned, the last year had been a record one, they became more infuriated than ever, and talked threateningly of what they would like to do to those bloody Socialists who were upsetting everything.
There were others who didn’t stay quiet; they shouted with all sorts of curses, blaming people like Owen for the downturn in trade. They claimed that all this talk about Socialism and government jobs was scaring away investment. Those with money were too afraid to invest in businesses or even get any work done because they feared being ripped off. When Owen brought up statistics to show that, in terms of commerce and the volume of goods produced, the past year had been the best on record, they got even angrier and threatened what they would do to those damn Socialists who were causing chaos.
One day Crass, who was one of these upholders of the existing system, scored off Owen finely. A little group of them were standing talking in the Wage Slave Market near the Fountain. In the course of the argument, Owen made the remark that under existing conditions life was not worth living, and Crass said that if he really thought so, there was no compulsion about it; if he wasn’t satisfied—if he didn’t want to live—he could go and die. Why the hell didn’t he go and make a hole in the water, or cut his bloody throat?
One day, Crass, who was one of those supporters of the current system, took a jab at Owen. A small group of them were chatting in the Wage Slave Market by the Fountain. During the argument, Owen commented that under the current conditions, life wasn’t worth living, and Crass replied that if he really believed that, there was no obligation to stick around; if he wasn’t happy—if he didn’t want to live—he could just go and die. Why didn’t he just go drown himself or slice his own throat?
On this particular occasion the subject of the argument was—at first—the recent increase of the Borough Engineer’s salary to seventeen pounds per week. Owen had said it was robbery, but the majority of the others expressed their approval of the increase. They asked Owen if he expected a man like that to work for nothing! It was not as if he were one of the likes of themselves. They said that, as for it being robbery, Owen would be very glad to have the chance of getting it himself. Most of them seemed to think the fact that anyone would be glad to have seventeen pounds a week, proved that it was right for them to pay that amount to the Borough Engineer!
On this occasion, the argument was initially about the recent raise in the Borough Engineer’s salary to seventeen pounds a week. Owen called it theft, but most of the others supported the raise. They asked Owen if he really thought someone like that should work for free! He wasn't one of the regular folks like them. They argued that, if it were theft, Owen would be thrilled to get that kind of pay himself. Most of them seemed to believe that the mere fact that anyone would be happy to earn seventeen pounds a week justified paying that amount to the Borough Engineer!
Usually whenever Owen reflected upon the gross injustices, and inhumanity of the existing social disorder, he became convinced that it could not possibly last; it was bound to fall to pieces because of its own rottenness. It was not just, it was not common sense, and therefore it could not endure. But always after one of these arguments—or, rather, disputes—with his fellow workmen, he almost relapsed into hopelessness and despondency, for then he realized how vast and how strong are the fortifications that surround the present system; the great barriers and ramparts of invincible ignorance, apathy and self-contempt, which will have to be broken down before the system of society of which they are the defences, can be swept away.
Whenever Owen thought about the terrible injustices and inhumanity of the current social system, he became convinced that it couldn’t possibly last; it was bound to collapse because of its own corruption. It was unjust, it didn’t make sense, and therefore it couldn’t endure. But after one of these arguments—or, rather, debates—with his fellow workers, he often fell into hopelessness and despair, realizing just how vast and powerful the defenses are that protect the current system; the great barriers and walls of relentless ignorance, apathy, and self-loathing, which will need to be dismantled before the societal structure they defend can be taken down.
At other times as he thought of this marvellous system, it presented itself to him in such an aspect of almost comical absurdity that he was forced to laugh and to wonder whether it really existed at all, or if it were only an illusion of his own disordered mind.
At other times, as he thought about this amazing system, it struck him as almost comically absurd, making him laugh and wonder whether it really existed at all or if it was just an illusion created by his own chaotic mind.
One of the things that the human race needed in order to exist was shelter; so with much painful labour they had constructed a large number of houses. Thousands of these houses were now standing unoccupied, while millions of the people who had helped to build the houses were either homeless or herding together in overcrowded hovels.
One of the things that people needed to survive was shelter, so they worked hard to build a lot of houses. Thousands of these houses were now empty, while millions of the people who had helped construct them were either homeless or crammed into overcrowded shacks.
These human beings had such a strange system of arranging their affairs that if anyone were to go and burn down a lot of the houses he would be conferring a great boon upon those who had built them, because such an act would “Make a lot more work!”
These people had such a weird way of organizing their lives that if someone were to go and burn down many of their houses, they would actually be doing a huge favor for those who built them, because that kind of act would “Create a lot more work!”
Another very comical thing was that thousands of people wore broken boots and ragged clothes, while millions of pairs of boots and abundance of clothing, which they had helped to make, were locked up in warehouses, and the System had the keys.
Another funny thing was that thousands of people wore broken boots and torn clothes, while millions of pairs of boots and plenty of clothing, which they had helped to make, were stored away in warehouses, and the System had the keys.
Thousands of people lacked the necessaries of life. The necessaries of life are all produced by work. The people who lacked begged to be allowed to work and create those things of which they stood in need. But the System prevented them from so doing.
Thousands of people didn't have the basics needed to live. The basics of life come from hard work. Those who were struggling begged for the chance to work and make what they needed. But the System stopped them from doing that.
If anyone asked the System why it prevented these people from producing the things of which they were in want, the System replied:
If anyone asked the System why it stopped these people from making the things they needed, the System responded:
“Because they have already produced too much. The markets are glutted. The warehouses are filled and overflowing, and there is nothing more for them to do.”
“Because they've already produced too much. The markets are oversaturated. The warehouses are packed and overflowing, and there's nothing more they can do.”
There was in existence a huge accumulation of everything necessary. A great number of the people whose labour had produced that vast store were now living in want, but the System said that they could not be permitted to partake of the things they had created. Then, after a time, when these people, being reduced to the last extreme of misery, cried out that they and their children were dying of hunger, the System grudgingly unlocked the doors of the great warehouses, and taking out a small part of the things that were stored within, distributed it amongst the famished workers, at the same time reminding them that it was Charity, because all the things in the warehouses, although they had been made by the workers, were now the property of the people who do nothing.
There was a huge pile of everything needed. Many of the people who had worked hard to create that massive stock were now struggling to get by, but the System claimed they couldn't be allowed to use the things they had made. Then, after a while, when these people, pushed to the brink of starvation, begged that they and their children were dying of hunger, the System reluctantly opened the doors of the large warehouses and took out a small portion of the stored goods, distributing it among the starving workers, while reminding them that it was Charity because all the items in the warehouses, even though made by the workers, now belonged to those who do nothing.
And then the starving, bootless, ragged, stupid wretches fell down and worshipped the System, and offered up their children as living sacrifices upon its altars, saying:
And then the starving, shoeless, ragged, foolish wretches collapsed and worshiped the System, offering their children as living sacrifices on its altars, saying:
“This beautiful System is the only one possible, and the best that human wisdom can devise. May the System live for ever! Cursed be those who seek to destroy the System!”
“This amazing System is the only one possible and the best that human intelligence can come up with. May the System live forever! Cursed be those who try to destroy the System!”
As the absurdity of the thing forced itself upon him, Owen, in spite of the unhappiness he felt at the sight of all the misery by which he was surrounded, laughed aloud and said to himself that if he was sane, then all these people must be mad.
As the absurdity of the situation hit him, Owen, despite the sadness he felt from all the misery around him, laughed out loud and thought to himself that if he was sane, then everyone else had to be crazy.
In the face of such colossal imbecility it was absurd to hope for any immediate improvement. The little already accomplished was the work of a few self-sacrificing enthusiasts, battling against the opposition of those they sought to benefit, and the results of their labours were, in many instances, as pearls cast before the swine who stood watching for opportunities to fall upon and rend their benefactors.
In the face of such huge foolishness, it was ridiculous to expect any quick improvement. The little progress that had been made came from a handful of selfless enthusiasts fighting against the resistance of those they were trying to help, and often their efforts were like pearls thrown before pigs who were just waiting for a chance to attack their helpers.
There was only one hope. It was possible that the monopolists, encouraged by the extraordinary stupidity and apathy of the people would proceed to lay upon them even greater burdens, until at last, goaded by suffering, and not having sufficient intelligence to understand any other remedy, these miserable wretches would turn upon their oppressors and drown both them and their System in a sea of blood.
There was only one hope. It was possible that the monopolists, motivated by the incredible ignorance and indifference of the people, would continue to impose even greater burdens on them. Eventually, pushed by suffering and lacking the understanding to see any other solution, these miserable individuals would rise up against their oppressors and drown both them and their System in a flood of blood.
Besides the work at the Kiosk, towards the end of March things gradually began to improve in other directions. Several firms began to take on a few hands. Several large empty houses that were relet had to be renovated for their new tenants, and there was a fair amount of inside work arising out of the annual spring-cleaning in other houses. There was not enough work to keep everyone employed, and most of those who were taken on as a rule only managed to make a few hours a week, but still it was better than absolute idleness, and there also began to be talk of several large outside jobs that were to be done as soon as the weather was settled.
Besides the work at the Kiosk, by the end of March, things started to get better in other areas. Several companies began to hire a few workers. A number of large empty houses that were rented out needed to be renovated for their new tenants, and there was quite a bit of inside work from the annual spring cleaning in other homes. There wasn't enough work to keep everyone employed, and most of those who were hired only managed to get a few hours a week, but it was still better than complete idleness, and there was also talk of several big outside projects that would start as soon as the weather improved.
This bad weather, by the way, was a sort of boon to the defenders of the present system, who were hard-up for sensible arguments to explain the cause of poverty. One of the principal causes was, of course, the weather, which was keeping everything back. There was not the slightest doubt that if only the weather would allow there would always be plenty of work, and poverty would be abolished.
This bad weather, by the way, was a kind of blessing for those defending the current system, who were struggling to find reasonable arguments to explain the cause of poverty. One of the main reasons was, of course, the weather, which was holding everything back. There was no doubt that if only the weather would cooperate, there would always be plenty of jobs, and poverty would be eliminated.
Rushton & Co. had a fair share of what work there was, and Crass, Sawkins, Slyme and Owen were kept employed pretty regularly, although they did not start until half past eight and left off at four. At different houses in various parts of the town they had ceilings to wash off and distemper, to strip the old paper from the walls, and to repaint and paper the rooms, and sometimes there were the venetian blinds to repair and repaint. Occasionally a few extra hands were taken on for a few days, and discharged again as soon as the job they were taken on to do was finished.
Rushton & Co. had a decent amount of work going on, and Crass, Sawkins, Slyme, and Owen were kept busy pretty regularly, even though they didn’t start until 8:30 and finished at 4. They worked at different houses around town, washing ceilings, stripping old wallpaper, and repainting and wallpapering rooms. Sometimes, they also fixed and repainted the Venetian blinds. Occasionally, a few extra workers were brought on for a few days and let go right after the job they were hired for was done.
The defenders of the existing system may possibly believe that the knowledge that they would be discharged directly the job was done was a very good incentive to industry, that they would naturally under these circumstances do their best to get the work done as quickly as possible. But then it must be remembered that most of the defenders of the existing system are so constituted, that they can believe anything provided it is not true and sufficiently silly.
The supporters of the current system might think that knowing they would be let go as soon as the job was finished is a great motivator to work hard, making them want to complete the tasks as quickly as possible. However, it should be noted that many of these supporters are the type of people who can believe anything as long as it’s not true and is ridiculous enough.
All the same, it was a fact that the workmen did do their very best to get over this work in the shortest possible time, because although they knew that to do so was contrary to their own interests, they also knew that it would be very much more contrary to their interests not to do so. Their only chance of being kept on if other work came in was to tear into it for all they were worth. Consequently, most of the work was rushed and botched and slobbered over in about half the time that it would have taken to do it properly. Rooms for which the customers paid to have three coats of paint were scamped with one or two. What Misery did not know about scamping and faking the work, the men suggested to and showed him in the hope of currying favour with him in order that they might get the preference over others and be sent for when the next job came in. This is the principal incentive provided by the present system, the incentive to cheat. These fellows cheated the customers of their money. They cheated themselves and their fellow workmen of work, and their children of bread, but it was all for a good cause—to make profit for their master.
Still, it was true that the workers did their best to complete the job as quickly as possible. Even though they knew this was against their own interests, they also understood that it would be far worse for them not to rush. Their only chance of staying employed if more work came in was to give it their all. As a result, a lot of the work was hurried and poorly done in about half the time it would have taken to do it right. Rooms that customers paid for to have three coats of paint were finished with just one or two. What Misery didn’t know about cutting corners and faking the work, the men pointed out and demonstrated in hopes of winning his favor, so they could be preferred over others and called back for the next job. This is the main motivation created by the current system: the incentive to cheat. These guys cheated the customers out of their money. They cheated themselves and their fellow workers out of jobs, and their children out of food, but it was all for a good cause—to make a profit for their boss.
Harlow and Slyme did one job—a room that Rushton & Co. had contracted to paint three coats. It was finished with two and the men cleared away their paints. The next day, when Slyme went there to paper the room, the lady of the house said that the painting was not yet finished—it was to have another coat. Slyme assured her that it had already had three, but, as the lady insisted, Slyme went to the shop and sought out Misery. Harlow had been stood off, as there was not another job in just then, but fortunately he happened to be standing in the street outside the shop, so they called him and then the three of them went round to the job and swore that the room had had three coats. The lady protested that it was not so. She had watched the progress of the work. Besides, it was impossible; they had only been there three days. The first day they had not put any paint on at all; they had done the ceiling and stripped the walls; the painting was not started till the second day. How then could it have had three coats? Misery explained the mystery: he said that for first coating they had an extra special very fast-drying paint—paint that dried so quickly that they were able to give the work two coats in one day. For instance, one man did the window, the other the door: when these were finished both men did the skirting; by the time the skirting was finished the door and window were dry enough to second coat; and then, on the following day—the finishing coat!
Harlow and Slyme did one job—a room that Rushton & Co. had contracted to paint three coats. It was finished with two, and the men cleaned up their paints. The next day, when Slyme went there to put up wallpaper, the lady of the house said that the painting wasn’t done yet—it was supposed to have another coat. Slyme told her it had already been painted three times, but since the lady insisted, Slyme went to the shop and looked for Misery. Harlow had been laid off because there wasn’t another job available at that moment, but luckily he was standing right outside the shop, so they called him, and the three of them went back to the job and swore that the room had received three coats. The lady protested that it wasn’t true. She had watched the work closely. Besides, it didn’t make sense; they had only been there three days. On the first day, they hadn’t applied any paint at all; they did the ceiling and stripped the walls; the painting didn’t start until the second day. So how could it have had three coats? Misery explained the mystery: he said that for the first coat they used an extra special fast-drying paint—paint that dried so quickly that they could do two coats in one day. For example, one man did the window, the other did the door: when these were finished, both men worked on the skirting; by the time they were done with the skirting, the door and window were dry enough for a second coat; and then, on the following day—the final coat!
Of course, this extra special quick-drying paint was very expensive, but the firm did not mind that. They knew that most of their customers wished to have their work finished as quickly as possible, and their study was to give satisfaction to the customers. This explanation satisfied the lady—a poverty-stricken widow making a precarious living by taking in lodgers—who was the more easily deceived because she regarded Misery as a very holy man, having seen him preaching in the street on many occasions.
Of course, this special quick-drying paint was quite pricey, but the company didn’t care. They understood that most of their customers wanted their projects completed as quickly as possible, and their mission was to keep the customers happy. This explanation satisfied the lady—a struggling widow trying to make ends meet by renting out rooms—who was more easily convinced since she saw Misery as a very righteous man, having seen him preach on the street many times.
There was another job at another boarding-house that Owen and Easton did—two rooms which had to be painted three coats of white paint and one of enamel, making four coats altogether. That was what the firm had contracted to do. As the old paint in these rooms was of a rather dark shade it was absolutely necessary to give the work three coats before enamelling it. Misery wanted them to let it go with two, but Owen pointed out that if they did so it would be such a ghastly mess that it would never pass. After thinking the matter over for a few minutes, Misery told them to go on with the third coat of paint. Then he went downstairs and asked to see the lady of the house. He explained to her that, in consequence of the old paint being so dark, he found that it would be necessary, in order to make a good job of it, to give the work four coats before enamelling it. Of course, they had agreed for only three, but as they always made a point of doing their work in a first-class manner rather than not make a good job, they would give it the extra coat for nothing, but he was sure she would not wish them to do that. The lady said that she did not want them to work for nothing, and she wanted it done properly. If it were necessary to give it an extra coat, they must do so and she would pay for it. How much would it be? Misery told her. The lady was satisfied, and Misery was in the seventh heaven. Then he went upstairs again and warned Owen and Easton to be sure to say, if they were asked, that the work had had four coats.
There was another job at another boarding house that Owen and Easton worked on—two rooms that needed three coats of white paint and one coat of enamel, making a total of four coats. That was what the company had agreed to do. Since the old paint in these rooms was a pretty dark color, it was essential to apply three coats before adding the enamel. Misery wanted them to settle for two, but Owen pointed out that it would look terrible if they did that, and it wouldn’t pass inspection. After thinking it over for a few minutes, Misery told them to continue with the third coat. Then he went downstairs to talk to the lady of the house. He explained that due to the dark old paint, they needed to apply four coats in order to do a good job. Of course, they had only agreed to three, but since they always strived to do their work to the highest standard rather than risk doing a subpar job, they would do the extra coat for free, though he was sure she wouldn’t want them to do that. The lady said she didn’t want them to work for free; she wanted it done right. If they needed to add an extra coat, they should go ahead and she would pay for it. How much would it be? Misery told her, and she was satisfied. Misery was on cloud nine. Then he went back upstairs and warned Owen and Easton to make sure to say, if they were asked, that the work had had four coats.
It would not be reasonable to blame Misery or Rushton for not wishing to do good, honest work—there was no incentive. When they secured a contract, if they had thought first of making the very best possible job of it, they would not have made so much profit. The incentive was not to do the work as well as possible, but to do as little as possible. The incentive was not to make good work, but to make good profit.
It wouldn't be fair to blame Misery or Rushton for not wanting to do good, honest work—there was no motivation. When they landed a contract, if they had prioritized doing the absolute best job, they wouldn't have made as much money. The motivation was not to do the work as well as they could, but to do as little as they could. The goal was not to create quality work, but to achieve high profits.
The same rule applied to the workers. They could not justly be blamed for not doing good work—there was no incentive. To do good work requires time and pains. Most of them would have liked to take time and pains, because all those who are capable of doing good work find pleasure and happiness in doing it, and have pride in it when done: but there was no incentive, unless the certainty of getting the sack could be called an incentive, for it was a moral certainty that any man who was caught taking time and pains with his work would be promptly presented with the order of the boot. But there was plenty of incentive to hurry and scamp and slobber and botch.
The same rule applied to the workers. They couldn’t fairly be blamed for not doing good work—there was no incentive. Doing good work takes time and effort. Most of them would have liked to take that time and put in the effort because everyone capable of producing quality work finds joy and satisfaction in it, and feels proud of the results: but there was no incentive, unless you could call the fear of getting fired an incentive, as it was a moral certainty that anyone who was caught taking their time and putting in effort on their work would quickly be shown the door. However, there was plenty of incentive to rush, cut corners, and do a poor job.
There was another job at a lodging-house—two rooms to be painted and papered. The landlord paid for the work, but the tenant had the privilege of choosing the paper. She could have any pattern she liked so long as the cost did not exceed one shilling per roll, Rushton’s estimate being for paper of that price. Misery sent her several patterns of sixpenny papers, marked at a shilling, to choose from, but she did not fancy any of them, and said that she would come to the shop to make her selection. So Hunter tore round to the shop in a great hurry to get there before her. In his haste to dismount, he fell off his bicycle into the muddy road, and nearly smashed the plate-glass window with the handle-bar of the machine as he placed it against the shop front before going in.
There was another job at a boarding house—two rooms needed to be painted and papered. The landlord covered the costs, but the tenant had the right to choose the wallpaper. She could select any design she wanted as long as it didn’t cost more than one shilling per roll, since Rushton’s estimate was based on that price. Misery sent her several options of sixpenny papers, labeled at a shilling, to choose from, but she didn’t like any of them and said she would visit the shop to make her choice. So Hunter hurried to the shop to get there before her. In his rush to get off his bike, he fell into the muddy road and almost smashed the plate-glass window with the handlebars as he leaned the bike against the shop front before going in.
Without waiting to clean the mud off his clothes, he ordered Budd, the pimply-faced shopman, to get out rolls of all the sixpenny papers they had, and then they both set to work and altered the price marked upon them from sixpence to a shilling. Then they got out a number of shilling papers and altered the price marked upon them, changing it from a shilling to one and six.
Without taking a moment to clean the mud off his clothes, he told Budd, the awkward shop attendant, to pull out all the sixpenny papers they had. They both got to work, changing the price on each from sixpence to a shilling. Then, they took out several shilling papers and changed the price on those too, bumping it up from a shilling to one and six.
When the unfortunate woman arrived, Misery was waiting for her with a benign smile upon his long visage. He showed her all the sixpenny ones, but she did not like any of them, so after a while Nimrod suggested that perhaps she would like a paper of a little better quality, and she could pay the trifling difference out of her own pocket. Then he showed her the shilling papers that he had marked up to one and sixpence, and eventually the lady selected one of these and paid the extra sixpence per roll herself, as Nimrod suggested. There were fifteen rolls of paper altogether—seven for one room and eight for the other—so that in addition to the ordinary profit on the sale of the paper—about two hundred and seventy-five per cent.—the firm made seven and sixpence on this transaction. They might have done better out of the job itself if Slyme had not been hanging the paper piece-work, for, the two rooms being of the same pattern, he could easily have managed to do them with fourteen rolls; in fact, that was all he did use, but he cut up and partly destroyed the one that was over so that he could charge for hanging it.
When the unfortunate woman arrived, Misery was waiting for her with a friendly smile on his long face. He showed her all the sixpenny ones, but she didn’t like any of them, so after a while, Nimrod suggested that maybe she would prefer a paper of a slightly better quality, and she could cover the small difference herself. Then he showed her the shilling papers he had marked up to one and sixpence, and eventually, the lady chose one of these and paid the extra sixpence per roll herself, as Nimrod suggested. There were fifteen rolls of paper in total—seven for one room and eight for the other—so, in addition to the normal profit on the sale of the paper—about two hundred and seventy-five percent—the company made seven and sixpence on this sale. They could have made more from the job itself if Slyme hadn’t been hanging the paper piece-work, because the two rooms were the same pattern, and he could easily have done them with fourteen rolls; in fact, that’s all he used, but he cut up and partially ruined the leftover one so that he could charge for hanging it.
Owen was working there at the same time, for the painting of the rooms was not done before Slyme papered them; the finishing coat was put on after the paper was hung. He noticed Slyme destroying the paper and, guessing the reason, asked him how he could reconcile such conduct as that with his profession of religion.
Owen was working there at the same time because the rooms weren’t painted before Slyme put up the wallpaper; the final coat was applied after the wallpaper was hung. He saw Slyme tearing down the paper and, figuring out why, asked him how he could justify such behavior alongside his religious beliefs.
Slyme replied that the fact that he was a Christian did not imply that he never did anything wrong: if he committed a sin, he was a Christian all the same, and it would be forgiven him for the sake of the Blood. As for this affair of the paper, it was a matter between himself and God, and Owen had no right to set himself up as a Judge.
Slyme responded that just because he was a Christian didn’t mean he never did anything wrong: if he sinned, he was still a Christian, and it would be forgiven because of the Blood. As for the issue with the paper, it was between him and God, and Owen had no right to act as a Judge.
In addition to all this work, there were a number of funerals. Crass and Slyme did very well out of it all, working all day white-washing or painting, and sometimes part of the night painting venetian blinds or polishing coffins and taking them home, to say nothing of the lifting in of the corpses and afterwards acting as bearers.
In addition to all this work, there were a number of funerals. Crass and Slyme did really well out of it all, working all day whitewashing or painting, and sometimes part of the night painting Venetian blinds or polishing coffins and taking them home, not to mention lifting the corpses and later acting as bearers.
As time went on, the number of small jobs increased, and as the days grew longer the men were allowed to put in a greater number of hours. Most of the firms had some work, but there was never enough to keep all the men in the town employed at the same time. It worked like this: Every firm had a certain number of men who were regarded as the regular hands. When there was any work to do, they got the preference over strangers or outsiders. When things were busy, outsiders were taken on temporarily. When the work fell off, these casual hands were the first to be “stood still”. If it continued to fall off, the old hands were also stood still in order of seniority, the older hands being preferred to strangers—so long, of course, as they were not old in the sense of being aged or inefficient.
As time went on, the number of small jobs increased, and as the days got longer, the men were allowed to work more hours. Most of the companies had some work available, but there was never enough to keep all the men in town employed at the same time. Here’s how it worked: Every company had a set number of guys considered the regular workers. When there was work to do, they got priority over strangers or newcomers. When things were busy, outsiders were brought on temporarily. When the work slowed down, these temporary workers were the first to be let go. If it continued to decline, the regular workers were also let go in order of seniority, with the more experienced workers preferred over newcomers— as long as, of course, they weren't old in the sense of being elderly or unable to perform.
This kind of thing usually continued all through the spring and summer. In good years the men of all trades, carpenters, bricklayers, plasterers, painters and so on, were able to keep almost regularly at work, except in wet weather.
This kind of thing usually went on throughout the spring and summer. In good years, workers from all trades—carpenters, bricklayers, plasterers, painters, and so on—were able to stay consistently employed, except during rainy weather.
The difference between a good and bad spring and summer is that in good years it is sometimes possible to make a little overtime, and the periods of unemployment are shorter and less frequent than in bad years. It is rare even in good years for one of the casual hands to be employed by one firm for more than one, two or three months without a break. It is usual for them to put in a month with one firm, then a fortnight with another, then perhaps six weeks somewhere else, and often between there are two or three days or even weeks of enforced idleness. This sort of thing goes on all through spring, summer and autumn.
The difference between a good and bad spring and summer is that in good years, it’s sometimes possible to earn a little extra money, and the periods of unemployment are shorter and happen less often than in bad years. Even in good years, it’s rare for a temporary worker to be employed by one company for more than one, two, or three months without a break. They usually work a month at one company, then a couple of weeks at another, maybe six weeks at a different place, and often in between, there are two or three days or even weeks of forced downtime. This pattern continues throughout spring, summer, and autumn.
Chapter 41
The Easter Offering. The Beano Meeting
By the beginning of April, Rushton & Co. were again working nine hours a day, from seven in the morning till five-thirty at night, and after Easter they started working full time from 6 A.M. till 5.30 P.M., eleven and a half hours—or, rather, ten hours, for they had to lose half an hour at breakfast and an hour at dinner.
By the start of April, Rushton & Co. were back to working nine hours a day, from seven in the morning until five-thirty in the evening, and after Easter, they began working full-time from 6 A.M. to 5:30 P.M., which is eleven and a half hours—or actually ten hours, since they had to take half an hour for breakfast and an hour for lunch.
Just before Easter several of the men asked Hunter if they might be allowed to work on Good Friday and Easter Monday, as, they said, they had had enough holidays during the winter; they had no money to spare for holiday-making, and they did not wish to lose two days’ pay when there was work to be done. Hunter told them that there was not sufficient work in to justify him in doing as they requested: things were getting very slack again, and Mr Rushton had decided to cease work from Thursday night till Tuesday morning. They were thus prevented from working on Good Friday, but it is true that not more than one working man in fifty went to any religious service on that day or on any other day during the Easter festival. On the contrary, this festival was the occasion of much cursing and blaspheming on the part of those whose penniless, poverty-stricken condition it helped to aggravate by enforcing unprofitable idleness which they lacked the means to enjoy.
Just before Easter, several men asked Hunter if they could work on Good Friday and Easter Monday. They said they had had enough time off during the winter, didn’t have any money for vacations, and didn’t want to lose two days’ pay when there was work available. Hunter told them there wasn’t enough work to justify their request; things were slowing down again, and Mr. Rushton had decided to stop work from Thursday night until Tuesday morning. Therefore, they couldn’t work on Good Friday, but it’s true that no more than one in fifty workers attended any religious service that day or any other day during the Easter festival. On the contrary, this holiday often led to a lot of cursing and blasphemy from those whose broke and struggling situation was made worse by forcing them into unproductive idleness that they couldn’t afford to enjoy.
During these holidays some of the men did little jobs on their own account and others put in the whole time—including Good Friday and Easter Sunday—gardening, digging and planting their plots of allotment ground.
During these holidays, some of the men did small jobs for themselves, while others spent all their time—even on Good Friday and Easter Sunday—gardening, digging, and planting on their allotment plots.
When Owen arrived home one evening during the week before Easter, Frankie gave him an envelope which he had brought home from school. It contained a printed leaflet:
When Owen got home one evening the week before Easter, Frankie handed him an envelope that he had brought home from school. It had a printed leaflet inside:
CHURCH OF THE WHITED SEPULCHRE,
MUGSBOROUGH
CHURCH OF THE WHITED SEPULCHRE, MUGSBOROUGH
Easter 19—
Easter 19—
Dear Sir (or Madam),
Dear Sir/Madam,
In accordance with the usual custom we invite you to join with us in presenting the Vicar, the Rev. Habbakuk Bosher, with an Easter Offering, as a token of affection and regard.
In line with our usual tradition, we invite you to join us in presenting the Vicar, the Rev. Habbakuk Bosher, with an Easter Offering as a sign of our love and respect.
Yours faithfully,
Sincerely,
A. Cheeseman }
W. Taylor } Churchwardens
A. Cheeseman }
W. Taylor } Churchwardens
Mr Bosher’s income from various sources connected with the church was over six hundred pounds a year, or about twelve pounds per week, but as that sum was evidently insufficient, his admirers had adopted this device for supplementing it. Frankie said all the boys had one of these letters and were going to ask their fathers for some money to give towards the Easter offering. Most of them expected to get twopence.
Mr. Bosher’s income from various church-related sources was over six hundred pounds a year, or about twelve pounds a week. Since that amount was clearly not enough, his supporters had come up with this idea to help him out. Frankie mentioned that all the boys had one of these letters and were planning to ask their dads for some money to contribute to the Easter offering. Most of them expected to receive two pence.
As the boy had evidently set his heart on doing the same as the other children, Owen gave him the twopence, and they afterwards learned that the Easter Offering for that year was one hundred and twenty-seven pounds, which was made up of the amounts collected from the parishioners by the children, the district visitors and the verger, the collection at a special Service, and donations from the feeble-minded old females elsewhere referred to.
As the boy clearly wanted to do what the other kids were doing, Owen gave him the two pence, and later they found out that the Easter Offering for that year was one hundred and twenty-seven pounds. This amount came from the collections made by the kids, the district visitors, and the verger, the collection at a special service, and donations from the elderly women mentioned elsewhere.
By the end of April nearly all the old hands were back at work, and several casual hands had also been taken on, the Semi-drunk being one of the number. In addition to these, Misery had taken on a number of what he called “lightweights”, men who were not really skilled workmen, but had picked up sufficient knowledge of the simpler parts of the trade to be able to get over it passably. These were paid fivepence or fivepence-halfpenny, and were employed in preference to those who had served their time, because the latter wanted more money and therefore were only employed when absolutely necessary. Besides the lightweights there were a few young fellows called improvers, who were also employed because they were cheap.
By the end of April, almost all the experienced workers were back on the job, and several temporary workers had also been hired, including the Semi-drunk. Alongside them, Misery brought in a number of what he called “lightweights,” guys who weren’t really skilled tradesmen but had learned enough about the simpler tasks to manage decently. They were paid five pence or five and a half pence, and they were preferred over those who had completed their apprenticeships because the latter wanted higher pay and were only brought in when absolutely necessary. In addition to the lightweights, there were a few young guys called improvers, who were also hired because they were inexpensive.
Crass now acted as colourman, having been appointed possibly because he knew absolutely nothing about the laws of colour. As most of the work consisted of small jobs, all the paint and distemper was mixed up at the shop and sent out ready for use to the various jobs.
Crass now worked as the color guy, probably because he didn't know anything about color laws. Since most of the work involved small tasks, all the paint and distemper were mixed at the shop and sent out ready to use for the different jobs.
Sawkins or some of the other lightweights generally carried the heavier lots of colour or scaffolding, but the smaller lots of colour or such things as a pair of steps or a painter’s plank were usually sent by the boy, whose slender legs had become quite bowed since he had been engaged helping the other philanthropists to make money for Mr Rushton.
Sawkins or some of the other lighter guys usually handled the heavier loads of color or scaffolding, but the smaller loads of color or items like a pair of steps or a painter’s plank were typically sent by the boy, whose thin legs had become somewhat bowed since he started helping the other philanthropists to make money for Mr. Rushton.
Crass’s work as colourman was simplified, to a certain extent, by the great number of specially prepared paints and distempers in all colours, supplied by the manufacturers ready for use. Most of these new-fangled concoctions were regarded with an eye of suspicion and dislike by the hands, and Philpot voiced the general opinion about them one day during a dinner-hour discussion when he said they might appear to be all right for a time, but they would probably not last, because they was mostly made of kimicles.
Crass's job as a color mixer was made easier, to some degree, by the large variety of specially made paints and distempers in all colors, provided by the manufacturers and ready to use. Most of these trendy mixtures were viewed with suspicion and dislike by the workers, and Philpot expressed the general sentiment about them one day during a lunch discussion when he said they might seem fine for a while, but they probably wouldn't last because they were mostly made of chemicals.
One of these new-fashioned paints was called “Petrifying Liquid”, and was used for first-coating decaying stone or plaster work. It was also supposed to be used for thinning up a certain kind of patent distemper, but when Misery found out that it was possible to thin the latter with water, the use of “Petrifying Liquid” for that purpose was discontinued. This “Petrifying Liquid” was a source of much merriment to the hands. The name was applied to the tea that they made in buckets on some of the jobs, and also to the four-ale that was supplied by certain pubs.
One of these trendy paints was called “Petrifying Liquid,” and it was used as a first coat for decaying stone or plaster. It was also meant to be used for thinning a specific kind of patent distemper, but when Misery discovered that it was possible to thin it with water, the use of “Petrifying Liquid” for that purpose stopped. This “Petrifying Liquid” was a source of a lot of laughs among the workers. The name was used for the tea they brewed in buckets on some jobs, and also for the four-ale provided by certain pubs.
One of the new inventions was regarded with a certain amount of indignation by the hands: it was a white enamel, and they objected to it for two reasons—one was because, as Philpot remarked, it dried so quickly that you had to work like greased lightning; you had to be all over the door directly you started it.
One of the new inventions was met with some anger by the workers: it was a white enamel, and they had two objections to it—firstly, as Philpot pointed out, it dried so quickly that you had to work at lightning speed; you had to cover the entire door as soon as you began.
The other reason was that, because it dried so quickly, it was necessary to keep closed the doors and windows of the room where it was being used, and the smell was so awful that it brought on fits of dizziness and sometimes vomiting. Needless to say, the fact that it compelled those who used it to work quickly recommended the stuff to Misery.
The other reason was that, since it dried so quickly, it was necessary to keep the doors and windows of the room closed while it was being used. The smell was so horrible that it caused dizziness and sometimes vomiting. Obviously, the fact that it forced people to work quickly made it appealing to Misery.
As for the smell, he did not care about that; he did not have to inhale the fumes himself.
As for the smell, he didn’t care about that; he didn’t have to breathe in the fumes himself.
It was just about this time that Crass, after due consultation with several of the others, including Philpot, Harlow, Bundy, Slyme, Easton and the Semi-drunk, decided to call a meeting of the hands for the purpose of considering the advisability of holding the usual Beano later on in the summer. The meeting was held in the carpenter’s shop down at the yard one evening at six o’clock, which allowed time for those interested to attend after leaving work.
It was around this time that Crass, after discussing it with several others, including Philpot, Harlow, Bundy, Slyme, Easton, and the guy who was half-drunk, decided to call a meeting of the workers to think about whether to have the usual Beano later in the summer. The meeting took place in the carpenter’s shop at the yard one evening at six o’clock, giving those interested a chance to come after finishing work.
The hands sat on the benches or carpenter’s stools, or reclined upon heaps of shavings. On a pair of tressels in the centre of the workshop stood a large oak coffin which Crass had just finished polishing.
The hands rested on benches or carpenter's stools, or lay back on piles of shavings. In the middle of the workshop, there was a large oak coffin that Crass had just finished polishing, sitting on a pair of trestles.
When all those who were expected to turn up had arrived, Payne, the foreman carpenter—the man who made the coffins—was voted to the chair on the proposition of Crass, seconded by Philpot, and then a solemn silence ensued, which was broken at last by the chairman, who, in a lengthy speech, explained the object of the meeting. Possibly with a laudable desire that there should be no mistake about it, he took the trouble to explain several times, going over the same ground and repeating the same words over and over again, whilst the audience waited in a deathlike and miserable silence for him to leave off. Payne, however, did not appear to have any intention of leaving off, for he continued, like a man in a trance, to repeat what he had said before, seeming to be under the impression that he had to make a separate explanation to each individual member of the audience. At last the crowd could stand it no longer, and began to shout “Hear, hear” and to bang bits of wood and hammers on the floor and the benches; and then, after a final repetition of the statement, that the object of the meeting was to consider the advisability of holding an outing, or beanfeast, the chairman collapsed on to a carpenter’s stool and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
When everyone who was expected to show up had arrived, Payne, the foreman carpenter—the guy who made the coffins—was nominated to chair the meeting by Crass and seconded by Philpot. A heavy silence followed, which was finally broken by the chairman, who, in a long-winded speech, explained the purpose of the meeting. Maybe wanting to make sure there was no confusion, he took the time to clarify multiple times, going over the same points and repeating the same phrases while the audience sat in a dead silence, looking miserable, waiting for him to stop. However, Payne seemed determined to keep going, like he was in a trance, continuing to repeat himself as if he needed to explain it to each person in the audience individually. Eventually, the crowd couldn’t take it anymore and started shouting “Hear, hear!” and banging pieces of wood and hammers on the floor and benches. After one last repetition of the statement that the purpose of the meeting was to discuss whether to hold an outing, or beanfeast, the chairman slumped onto a carpenter’s stool and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
Crass then reminded the meeting that the last year’s Beano had been an unqualified success, and for his part he would be very sorry if they did not have one this year. Last year they had four brakes, and they went to Tubberton Village.
Crass then reminded the meeting that last year's Beano had been a huge success, and he would be really disappointed if they didn't have one this year. Last year, they had four breaks, and they went to Tubberton Village.
It was true that there was nothing much to see at Tubberton, but there was one thing they could rely on getting there that they could not be sure of getting for the same money anywhere else, and that was—a good feed. (Applause.) Just for the sake of getting on with the business, he would propose that they decide to go to Tubberton, and that a committee be appointed to make arrangements—about the dinner—with the landlord of the Queen Elizabeth’s Head at that place.
It was true that there wasn't much to see in Tubberton, but there was one thing they could count on getting there that they couldn't be sure of getting for the same price anywhere else, and that was—a good meal. (Applause.) To keep things moving, he would suggest that they decide to go to Tubberton and that a committee be formed to make arrangements—about the dinner—with the landlord of the Queen Elizabeth’s Head in that town.
Philpot seconded the motion, and Payne was about to call for a show of hands when Harlow rose to a point of order. It appeared to him that they were getting on a bit too fast. The proper way to do this business was first to take the feeling of the meeting as to whether they wished to have a Beano at all, and then, if the meeting was in favour of it, they could decide where they were to go, and whether they would have a whole day or only half a day.
Philpot supported the motion, and Payne was about to ask for a show of hands when Harlow raised a point of order. He felt they were moving a bit too quickly. The correct way to handle this was to first gauge the meeting's feelings about whether they even wanted to have a Beano at all, and then, if the meeting was in favor, they could figure out where to go and whether they wanted to spend a whole day or just half a day.
The Semi-drunk said that he didn’t care a dreadful expression where they went: he was willing to abide by the decision of the majority. (Applause.) It was a matter of indifference to him whether they had a day, or half a day, or two days; he was agreeable to anything.
The Semi-drunk said he didn't care one bit where they went: he was okay with whatever the majority decided. (Applause.) It didn't matter to him whether they had a day, half a day, or two days; he was fine with anything.
Easton suggested that a special saloon carriage might be engaged, and they could go and visit Madame Tussaud’s Waxworks. He had never been to that place and had often wished to see it. But Philpot objected that if they went there, Madame Tussaud’s might be unwilling to let them out again.
Easton proposed that they could book a special train car and visit Madame Tussaud’s Waxworks. He had never been there and often wanted to see it. However, Philpot countered that if they went there, Madame Tussaud’s might not let them leave again.
Bundy endorsed the remarks that had fallen from Crass with reference to Tubberton. He did not care where they went, they would never get such a good spread for the money as they did last year at the Queen Elizabeth. (Cheers.)
Bundy agreed with what Crass had said about Tubberton. He didn’t care where they went; they would never get such a great meal for the money as they did last year at the Queen Elizabeth. (Cheers.)
The chairman said that he remembered the last Beano very well. They had half a day—left off work on Saturday at twelve instead of one—so there was only one hour’s wages lost—they went home, had a wash and changed their clothes, and got up to the Cricketers, where the brakes was waiting, at one. Then they had the two hours’ drive to Tubberton, stopping on the way for drinks at the Blue Lion, the Warrior’s Head, the Bird in Hand, the Dewdrop Inn and the World Turned Upside Down. (Applause.) They arrived at the Queen Elizabeth at three-thirty, and the dinner was ready; and it was one of the finest blow-outs he had ever had. (Hear, hear.) There was soup, vegetables, roast beef, roast mutton, lamb and mint sauce, plum duff, Yorkshire, and a lot more. The landlord of the Elizabeth kept as good a drop of beer as anyone could wish to drink, and as for the teetotallers, they could have tea, coffee or ginger beer.
The chairman said he remembered the last Beano very well. They got half a day off—left work on Saturday at noon instead of one—so they only lost an hour’s pay. They went home, washed up, changed their clothes, and made it to the Cricketers, where the bus was waiting, by one o'clock. Then they had a two-hour drive to Tubberton, stopping along the way for drinks at the Blue Lion, the Warrior’s Head, the Bird in Hand, the Dewdrop Inn, and the World Turned Upside Down. (Applause.) They arrived at the Queen Elizabeth at 3:30 PM, and dinner was ready; it was one of the best feasts he’d ever had. (Hear, hear.) There was soup, vegetables, roast beef, roast mutton, lamb with mint sauce, plum duff, Yorkshire pudding, and a lot more. The landlord of the Elizabeth served as good a pint of beer as anyone could want, and for the teetotalers, they could have tea, coffee, or ginger beer.
Having thus made another start, Payne found it very difficult to leave off, and was proceeding to relate further details of the last Beano when Harlow again rose up from his heap of shavings and said he wished to call the chairman to order. (Hear, hear.) What the hell was the use of all this discussion before they had even decided to have a Beano at all! Was the meeting in favour of a Beano or not? That was the question.
Having made another start, Payne found it really hard to stop and was about to share more details about the last Beano when Harlow got up again from his pile of shavings and said he wanted to call the chairman to order. (Hear, hear.) What was the point of all this discussion when they hadn’t even decided whether to have a Beano at all! Was the meeting in favor of a Beano or not? That was the question.
A prolonged and awkward silence followed. Everyone was very uncomfortable, looking stolidly on the ground or staring straight in front of them.
A long and awkward silence followed. Everyone felt really uncomfortable, staring blankly at the ground or straight ahead.
At last Easton broke the silence by suggesting that it would not be a bad plan if someone was to make a motion that a Beano be held. This was greeted with a general murmur of “Hear, hear,” followed by another awkward pause, and then the chairman asked Easton if he would move a resolution to that effect. After some hesitation, Easton agreed, and formally moved: “That this meeting is in favour of a Beano.”
At last, Easton broke the silence by suggesting that it wouldn't be a bad idea for someone to propose having a Beano. This was met with a general murmur of "Hear, hear," followed by another awkward pause, and then the chairman asked Easton if he would put forward a resolution to that effect. After some hesitation, Easton agreed and formally proposed: "That this meeting is in favor of a Beano."
The Semi-drunk said that, in order to get on with the business, he would second the resolution. But meantime, several arguments had broken out between the advocates of different places, and several men began to relate anecdotes of previous Beanos. Nearly everyone was speaking at once and it was some time before the chairman was able to put the resolution. Finding it impossible to make his voice heard above the uproar, he began to hammer on the bench with a wooden mallet, and to shout requests for order, but this only served to increase the din. Some of them looked at him curiously and wondered what was the matter with him, but the majority were so interested in their own arguments that they did not notice him at all.
The semi-drunk guy said that, to move things along, he'd support the resolution. But in the meantime, arguments broke out among the supporters of different places, and a few people started sharing stories about past Beanos. Almost everyone was talking at the same time, and it took a while before the chairman could put the resolution forward. Since he couldn't get his voice heard over the noise, he started banging on the table with a wooden mallet and shouting for order, but that just made the chaos worse. Some people looked at him in confusion, wondering what was going on with him, but most were so caught up in their own debates that they didn’t pay any attention to him at all.
Whilst the chairman was trying to get the attention of the meeting in order to put the question, Bundy had become involved in an argument with several of the new hands who claimed to know of an even better place than the Queen Elizabeth, a pub called “The New Found Out”, at Mirkfield, a few miles further on than Tubberton, and another individual joined in the dispute, alleging that a house called “The Three Loggerheads” at Slushton-cum-Dryditch was the finest place for a Beano within a hundred miles of Mugsborough. He went there last year with Pushem and Driver’s crowd, and they had roast beef, goose, jam tarts, mince pies, sardines, blancmange, calves’ feet jelly and one pint for each man was included in the cost of the dinner. In the middle of the discussion, they noticed that most of the others were holding up their hands, so to show there was no ill feeling they held up theirs also and then the chairman declared it was carried unanimously.
While the chairman was trying to get the attention of the meeting to ask his question, Bundy had gotten into an argument with several of the new guys who claimed to know an even better pub than the Queen Elizabeth, a place called “The New Found Out” in Mirkfield, which was a few miles past Tubberton. Another person jumped into the debate, insisting that a pub called “The Three Loggerheads” in Slushton-cum-Dryditch was the best spot for a Beano within a hundred miles of Mugsborough. He had gone there last year with Pushem and Driver’s group, and they had roast beef, goose, jam tarts, mince pies, sardines, blancmange, calves’ feet jelly, and one pint for each man was included in the dinner cost. In the middle of the discussion, they noticed that most of the others were raising their hands, so to show there were no hard feelings, they raised theirs too, and then the chairman announced that it was carried unanimously.
Bundy said he would like to ask the chairman to read out the resolution which had just been passed, as he had not caught the words.
Bundy said he would like to ask the chairman to read the resolution that had just been passed, as he hadn't heard what was said.
The chairman replied that there was no written resolution. The motion was just to express the feeling of this meeting as to whether there was to be an outing or not.
The chairman responded that there wasn't a written resolution. The motion was simply to express the sentiment of this meeting regarding whether there should be an outing or not.
Bundy said he was only asking a civil question, a point of information: all he wanted to know was, what was the terms of the resolution? Was they in favour of the Beano or not?
Bundy said he was just asking a simple question, a point of information: all he wanted to know was, what were the terms of the resolution? Were they in favor of the Beano or not?
The chairman responded that the meeting was unanimously in favour. (Applause.)
The chairman said that everyone at the meeting was in favor. (Applause.)
Harlow said that the next thing to be done was to decide upon the date. Crass suggested the last Saturday in August. That would give them plenty of time to pay in.
Harlow said that the next thing to do was to choose the date. Crass suggested the last Saturday in August. That would give them plenty of time to pay up.
Sawkins asked whether it was proposed to have a day or only half a day. He himself was in favour of the whole day. It would only mean losing a morning’s work. It was hardly worth going at all if they only had half the day.
Sawkins asked if they were planning to have a full day or just half a day. He personally preferred a full day. It would only mean missing out on a morning's work. It hardly seemed worthwhile to go at all if they only had half a day.
The Semi-drunk remarked that he had just thought of a very good place to go if they decided to have a change. Three years ago he was working for Dauber and Botchit and they went to “The First In and the Last Out” at Bashford. It was a very small place, but there was a field where you could have a game of cricket or football, and the dinner was A1 at Lloyds. There was also a skittle alley attached to the pub and no charge was made for the use of it. There was a bit of a river there, and one of the chaps got so drunk that he went orf his onion and jumped into the water, and when they got him out the village policeman locked him up, and the next day he was took before the beak and fined two pounds or a month’s hard labour for trying to commit suicide.
The semi-drunk guy said he just thought of a really good place to go if they wanted a change. Three years ago, he was working for Dauber and Botchit, and they went to “The First In and the Last Out” in Bashford. It was a tiny place, but there was a field where you could play cricket or football, and the dinner at Lloyds was top-notch. There was also a skittle alley connected to the pub, and they didn’t charge for using it. There was a little river nearby, and one of the guys got so drunk that he lost it and jumped into the water. When they pulled him out, the village policeman arrested him, and the next day he was taken before the judge and fined two pounds or a month of hard labor for trying to commit suicide.
Easton pointed out that there was another way to look at it: supposing they decided to have the Beano, he supposed it would come to about six shillings a head. If they had it at the end of August and started paying in now, say a tanner a week, they would have plenty of time to make up the amount, but supposing the work fell off and some of them got the push?
Easton noted that there was another perspective to consider: if they went ahead with the Beano, he estimated it would cost around six shillings per person. If they held it at the end of August and began saving now, let’s say a tanner each week, they would have more than enough time to gather the funds, but what if the work slowed down and some of them lost their jobs?
Crass said that in that case a man could either have his money back or he could leave it, and continue his payments even if he were working for some other firm; the fact that he was off from Rushton’s would not prevent him from going to the Beano.
Crass said that in that case, a man could either get his money back or leave it and keep making his payments even if he was working for another company; the fact that he wasn't at Rushton’s wouldn't stop him from going to the Beano.
Harlow proposed that they decide to go to the Queen Elizabeth the same as last year, and that they have half a day.
Harlow suggested that they should go to the Queen Elizabeth like they did last year, and that they should have half a day.
Philpot said that, in order to get on with the business, he would second the resolution.
Philpot said that, to move forward with the discussion, he would support the resolution.
Bundy suggested—as an amendment—that it should be a whole day, starting from the Cricketers at nine in the morning, and Sawkins said that, in order to get on with the business, he would second the amendment.
Bundy proposed an amendment for it to be a full day, beginning with the Cricketers at nine in the morning, and Sawkins said that to move things along, he would second the amendment.
One of the new hands said he wished to move another amendment. He proposed to strike out the Queen Elizabeth and substitute the Three Loggerheads.
One of the new members said he wanted to propose another amendment. He suggested removing the Queen Elizabeth and replacing it with the Three Loggerheads.
The Chairman—after a pause—inquired if there were any seconder to this, and the Semi-drunk said that, although he did not care much where they went, still, to get on with the business, he would second the amendment, although for his own part he would prefer to go to the “First In and Last Out” at Bashford.
The Chairman—after a moment—asked if there was a second to this, and the semi-drunk replied that, although he didn't really care where they ended up, to move things along, he would second the amendment, even though he personally would rather go to the “First In and Last Out” at Bashford.
The new hand offered to withdraw his suggestion re the Three Loggerheads in favour of the Semi-drunk’s proposition, but the latter said it didn’t matter; it could go as it was.
The new guy offered to take back his suggestion about the Three Loggerheads in favor of the Semi-drunk’s idea, but the Semi-drunk said it didn’t matter; it could stay as it was.
As it was getting rather late, several men went home, and cries of “Put the question” began to be heard on all sides; the chairman accordingly was proceeding to put Harlow’s proposition when the new hand interrupted him by pointing out that it was his duty as chairman to put the amendments first. This produced another long discussion, in the course of which a very tall, thin man who had a harsh, metallic voice gave a long rambling lecture about the rules of order and the conduct of public meetings. He spoke very slowly and deliberately, using very long words and dealing with the subject in an exhaustive manner. A resolution was a resolution, and an amendment was an amendment; then there was what was called an amendment to an amendment; the procedure of the House of Commons differed very materially from that of the House of Lords—and so on.
As it was getting late, several men went home, and shouts of “Put the question” were heard all around; the chairman was about to present Harlow’s proposal when a new member interrupted him, pointing out that it was his duty as chairman to address the amendments first. This sparked another lengthy discussion, during which a very tall, thin man with a harsh, metallic voice gave a long, rambling lecture about the rules of order and how public meetings should be conducted. He spoke very slowly and deliberately, using long words and covering the topic thoroughly. A resolution was a resolution, and an amendment was an amendment; then there was something called an amendment to an amendment; the process of the House of Commons was quite different from that of the House of Lords—and so on.
This man kept on talking for about ten minutes, and might have continued for ten hours if he had not been rudely interrupted by Harlow, who said that it seemed to him that they were likely to stay there all night if they went on like they were going. He wanted his tea, and he would also like to get a few hours’ sleep before having to resume work in the morning. He was getting about sick of all this talk. (Hear, hear.) In order to get on with the business, he would withdraw his resolution if the others would withdraw their amendments. If they would agree to do this, he would then propose another resolution which—if carried—would meet all the requirements of the case. (Applause.)
This guy kept talking for about ten minutes and could have gone on for ten hours if Harlow hadn't interrupted him rudely. Harlow pointed out that if they kept this up, they’d probably be there all night. He wanted his tea and also needed a few hours of sleep before getting back to work in the morning. He was getting pretty tired of all this talking. (Hear, hear.) To move things along, he would take back his resolution if everyone else would drop their amendments. If they'd agree to that, he would then suggest a new resolution which—if passed—would cover all the requirements of the situation. (Applause.)
The man with the metallic voice observed that it was not necessary to ask the consent of those who had moved amendments: if the original proposition was withdrawed, all the amendments fell to the ground.
The man with the metallic voice noted that it wasn’t necessary to get the agreement of those who had proposed amendments: if the original proposal was withdrawn, all the amendments became irrelevant.
“Last year,” observed Crass, “when we was goin’ out of the room after we’d finished our dinner at the Queen Elizabeth, the landlord pointed to the table and said, ‘There’s enough left over for you all to ’ave another lot.’” (Cheers.)
“Last year,” Crass noted, “when we were leaving the room after we finished our dinner at the Queen Elizabeth, the landlord pointed to the table and said, ‘There’s enough leftovers for all of you to have another serving.’” (Cheers.)
Harlow said that he would move that it be held on the last Saturday in August; that it be for half a day, starting at one o’clock so that they could work up till twelve, which would mean that they would only have to lose one hour’s pay: that they go to the same place as last year—the Queen Elizabeth. (Hear, hear.) That the same committee that acted last year—Crass and Bundy—be appointed to make all the arrangements and collect the subscriptions. (Applause.)
Harlow suggested that the event be held on the last Saturday in August, for half a day, starting at one o’clock, so they could work until noon, which would mean they would only lose one hour's pay. He proposed they go to the same place as last year—the Queen Elizabeth. (Cheers.) He also recommended that the same committee from last year—Crass and Bundy—be appointed to handle all the arrangements and collect the contributions. (Applause.)
The tall man observed that this was what was called a compound resolution, and was proceeding to explain further when the chairman exclaimed that it did not matter a dam’ what it was called—would anyone second it? The Semi-drunk said that he would—in order to get on with the business.
The tall man noted that this was what they referred to as a compound resolution and was about to explain more when the chairman interrupted, saying it didn’t matter what it was called—would anyone second it? The semi-drunk replied that he would—in order to move things along.
Bundy moved, and Sawkins seconded, as an amendment, that it should be a whole day.
Bundy made a motion, and Sawkins seconded, proposing that it should be a full day.
The new hand moved to substitute the Loggerheads for the Queen Elizabeth.
The new hand replaced the Loggerheads with the Queen Elizabeth.
Easton proposed to substitute Madame Tussaud’s Waxworks for the Queen Elizabeth. He said he moved this just to test the feeling of the meeting.
Easton suggested replacing Queen Elizabeth with Madame Tussaud’s Waxworks. He mentioned that he was doing this just to gauge the mood of the meeting.
Harlow pointed out that it would cost at least a pound a head to defray the expenses of such a trip. The railway fares, tram fares in London, meals—for it would be necessary to have a whole day—and other incidental expenses; to say nothing of the loss of wages. It would not be possible for any of them to save the necessary amount during the next four months. (Hear, hear.)
Harlow pointed out that it would cost at least a pound per person to cover the expenses of such a trip. The train fares, tram fares in London, meals—since it would be necessary to have a whole day—and other incidental costs; not to mention the loss of wages. None of them would be able to save the required amount in the next four months. (Hear, hear.)
Philpot repeated his warning as to the danger of visiting Madame Tussaud’s. He was certain that if she once got them in there she would never let them out again. He had no desire to pass the rest of his life as an image in a museum.
Philpot repeated his warning about the risk of going to Madame Tussaud’s. He was sure that if she got them in there, she would never let them leave. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life as a figure in a museum.
One of the new hands—a man with a red tie—said that they would look well, after having been soaked for a month or two in petrifying liquid, chained up in the Chamber of Horrors with labels round their necks—“Specimens of Liberal and Conservative upholders of the Capitalist System, 20 century”.
One of the newcomers—a guy in a red tie—said they would look great, after being soaked for a month or two in some preserving solution, locked up in the Chamber of Horrors with labels around their necks—“Specimens of Liberal and Conservative supporters of the Capitalist System, 20th century.”
Crass protested against the introduction of politics into that meeting. (Hear, hear.) The remarks of the last speakers were most uncalled-for.
Crass objected to the introduction of politics into that meeting. (Hear, hear.) What the last speakers said was completely unnecessary.
Easton said that he would withdraw his amendment.
Easton said he would take back his amendment.
Acting under the directions of the man with the metallic voice, the chairman now proceeded to put the amendment to the vote. Bundy’s proposal that it should be a whole day was defeated, only himself, Sawkins and the Semi-drunk being in favour. The motion to substitute the Loggerheads for the Queen Elizabeth was also defeated, and the compound resolution proposed by Harlow was then carried nem. con.
Acting on the instructions of the man with the metallic voice, the chairman moved to put the amendment to a vote. Bundy’s proposal for it to be a full day was defeated, with only him, Sawkins, and the Semi-drunk supporting it. The motion to replace the Queen Elizabeth with the Loggerheads was also rejected, and Harlow's combined resolution was then passed unanimously.
Philpot now proposed a hearty vote of thanks to the chairman for the very able manner in which he had conducted the meeting. When this had been unanimously agreed to, the Semi-drunk moved a similar tribute of gratitude to Crass for his services to the cause and the meeting dispersed.
Philpot now suggested a warm vote of thanks to the chairman for the skillful way he had run the meeting. Once everyone agreed to this, the Semi-drunk proposed a similar expression of gratitude to Crass for his contributions to the cause, and the meeting came to an end.
Chapter 42
June
During the early part of May the weather was exceptionally bad, with bitterly cold winds. Rain fell nearly every day, covering the roads with a slush that penetrated the rotten leather of the cheap or second-hand boots worn by the workmen. This weather had the effect of stopping nearly all outside work, and also caused a lot of illness, for those who were so fortunate as to have inside jobs frequently got wet through on their way to work in the morning and had to work all day in damp clothing, and with their boots saturated with water. It was also a source of trouble to those of the men who had allotments, because if it had been fine they would have been able to do something to their gardens while they were out of work.
During early May, the weather was really terrible, with freezing cold winds. It rained almost every day, making the roads muddy and soaking through the worn-out leather of the cheap or second-hand boots worn by the workers. This weather stopped almost all outdoor work and led to a lot of illness, since those lucky enough to have indoor jobs often got drenched on their way to work in the morning and had to spend the entire day in wet clothes and with waterlogged boots. It was also a hassle for those men who had gardens because if the weather had been nice, they could have done some work in their gardens while they were out of work.
Newman had not succeeded in getting a job at the trade since he came out of prison, but he tried to make a little money by hawking bananas. Philpot—when he was at work—used often to buy a tanner’s or a bob’s worth from him and give them to Mrs Linden’s children. On Saturdays Old Joe used to waylay these children and buy them bags of cakes at the bakers. One week when he knew that Mrs Linden had not had much work to do, he devised a very cunning scheme to help her. He had been working with Slyme, who was papering a large boarded ceiling in a shop. It had to be covered with unbleached calico before it could be papered and when the work was done there were a number of narrow pieces of calico left over. These he collected and tore into strips about six inches wide which he took round to Mrs Linden, and asked her to sew them together, end to end, so as to make one long strip: then this long strip had to be cut into four pieces of equal length and the edges sewn together in such a manner that it would form a long tube. Philpot told her that it was required for some work that Rushton’s were doing, and said he had undertaken to get the sewing done. The firm would have to pay for it, so she could charge a good price.
Newman hadn’t managed to find a job since getting out of prison, but he tried to make some money by selling bananas. Philpot, when he was working, would often buy a few for a couple of coins and give them to Mrs. Linden’s kids. On Saturdays, Old Joe would catch these kids and buy them bags of cakes from the bakery. One week, knowing that Mrs. Linden hadn’t had much work lately, he came up with a clever plan to help her. He had been working with Slyme, who was putting up wallpaper on a large boarded ceiling in a shop. It needed to be covered with unbleached calico first, and when they finished, there were a number of narrow strips of calico left over. He collected these and tore them into strips about six inches wide, which he took to Mrs. Linden, asking her to sew them together end to end to make one long strip. Then this long strip needed to be cut into four equal pieces, and the edges sewn together in a way that would create a long tube. Philpot told her it was needed for some work that Rushton’s were doing and mentioned that he had promised to get the sewing done. The company would pay for it, so she could charge a decent price.
“You see,” he said with a wink, “this is one of those jobs where we gets a chance to get some of our own back.”
“You see,” he said with a wink, “this is one of those jobs where we get a chance to take some of our own back.”
Mary thought it was rather a strange sort of job, but she did as Philpot directed and when he came for the stuff and asked how much it was she said threepence: it had only taken about half an hour. Philpot ridiculed this: it was not nearly enough. THEY were not supposed to know how long it took: it ought to be a bob at the very least. So, after some hesitation she made out a bill for that amount on a half-sheet of note-paper. He brought her the money the next Saturday afternoon and went off chuckling to himself over the success of the scheme. It did not occur to him until the next day that he might just as well have got her to make him an apron or two: and when he did think of this he said that after all it didn’t matter, because if he had done that it would have been necessary to buy new calico, and anyhow, it could be done some other time.
Mary thought it was a pretty strange job, but she followed Philpot's instructions, and when he came for the items and asked how much it was, she said threepence: it had only taken about half an hour. Philpot laughed at this: it wasn’t nearly enough. THEY weren’t supposed to know how long it took: it should be at least a bob. So, after some hesitation, she wrote a bill for that amount on a half-sheet of note paper. He brought her the money the following Saturday afternoon and walked away chuckling to himself about the success of the scheme. It didn’t occur to him until the next day that he could have asked her to make him an apron or two: and when he did think of it, he said it didn’t really matter, because if he had done that, he would have needed to buy new calico, and anyway, it could be done some other time.
Newman did not make his fortune out of the bananas—seldom more than two shillings a day—and consequently he was very glad when Philpot called at his house one evening and told him there was a chance of a job at Rushton’s. Newman accordingly went to the yard the next morning, taking his apron and blouse and his bag of tools with him, ready to start work. He got there at about quarter to six and was waiting outside when Hunter arrived. The latter was secretly very glad to see him, for there was a rush of work in and they were short of men. He did not let this appear, of course, but hesitated for a few minutes when Newman repeated the usual formula: “Any chance of a job, sir?”
Newman didn't make much money from the bananas—rarely more than two shillings a day—and so he was really happy when Philpot came by his house one evening and told him there was a chance for a job at Rushton’s. Newman went to the yard the next morning, bringing his apron, blouse, and tool bag, ready to start work. He arrived around a quarter to six and was waiting outside when Hunter showed up. Hunter was secretly relieved to see him because they had a lot of work and were short-staffed. He didn’t let that show, of course, but hesitated for a few minutes when Newman asked, “Any chance of a job, sir?”
“We wasn’t at all satisfied with you last time you was on, you know,” said Misery. “Still, I don’t mind giving you another chance. But if you want to hold your job you’ll have to move yourself a bit quicker than you did before.”
“We weren’t at all satisfied with you last time you were on, you know,” said Misery. “Still, I don’t mind giving you another chance. But if you want to keep your job, you’ll have to move a bit faster than you did before.”
Towards the end of the month things began to improve all round. The weather became finer and more settled. As time went on the improvement was maintained and nearly everyone was employed. Rushton’s were so busy that they took on several other old hands who had been sacked the previous year for being too slow.
Towards the end of the month, things started to get better all around. The weather improved and became more stable. As time went on, the improvement continued, and almost everyone found work. Rushton's was so busy that they hired several former employees who had been let go the previous year for being too slow.
Thanks to the influence of Crass, Easton was now regarded as one of the regular hands. He had recently resumed the practice of spending some of his evenings at the Cricketers. It is probable that even if it had not been for his friendship with Crass, he would still have continued to frequent the public house, for things were not very comfortable at home. Somehow or other, Ruth and he seemed to be always quarrelling, and he was satisfied that it was not always his fault. Sometimes, after the day’s work was over he would go home resolved to be good friends with her: he would plan on his way homewards to suggest to her that they should have their tea and then go out for a walk with the child. Once or twice she agreed, but on each occasion, they quarrelled before they got home again. So after a time he gave up trying to be friends with her and went out by himself every evening as soon as he had had his tea.
Thanks to Crass's influence, Easton was now seen as one of the regulars. He had recently started spending some of his evenings at the Cricketers. It's likely that even if it weren't for his friendship with Crass, he would still have kept going to the pub, since things weren't very comfortable at home. For some reason, Ruth and he seemed to always be arguing, and he was convinced that it wasn't always his fault. Sometimes, after work, he would go home determined to make peace with her; he would think on the way home about suggesting they have their tea and then go out for a walk with the child. A couple of times she agreed, but each time they ended up arguing before they even got home. Eventually, he stopped trying to get along with her and started going out by himself every evening right after he had his tea.
Mary Linden, who was still lodging with them, could not help perceiving their unhappiness: she frequently noticed that Ruth’s eyes were red and swollen as if with crying, and she gently sought to gain her confidence, but without success. On one occasion when Mary was trying to advise her, Ruth burst out into a terrible fit of weeping, but she would not say what was the cause—except that her head was aching—she was not well, that was all.
Mary Linden, who was still staying with them, couldn't help but notice their unhappiness: she often saw that Ruth's eyes were red and puffy as if she had been crying, and she tried to earn her trust, but it didn’t work. One time when Mary was trying to offer her some advice, Ruth suddenly broke down in tears, but she wouldn't say why—only that her head hurt—she just wasn’t feeling well, that was all.
Sometimes Easton passed the evening at the Cricketers but frequently he went over to the allotments, where Harlow had a plot of ground. Harlow used to get up about four o’clock in the morning and put in an hour or so at his garden before going to work; and every evening as soon as he had finished tea he used to go there again and work till it was dark. Sometimes he did not go home to tea at all, but went straight from work to the garden, and his children used to bring his tea to him there in a glass bottle, with something to eat in a little basket. He had four children, none of whom were yet old enough to go to work, and as may be imagined, he found it a pretty hard struggle to live. He was not a teetotaller, but as he often remarked, “what the publicans got from him wouldn’t make them very fat”, for he often went for weeks together without tasting the stuff, except a glass or two with the Sunday dinner, which he did not regard as an unnecessary expense, because it was almost as cheap as tea or coffee.
Sometimes Easton spent the evening at the Cricketers, but often he headed over to the allotments, where Harlow had a garden plot. Harlow used to wake up around four in the morning and spend an hour or so in his garden before going to work; then every evening, as soon as he finished dinner, he would go back and work until it got dark. Sometimes he wouldn't even go home for dinner, heading straight from work to the garden, and his kids would bring him his tea in a glass bottle, along with something to eat in a little basket. He had four children, none old enough to work yet, and as you can imagine, he found it quite a struggle to make ends meet. He wasn't a teetotaler, but as he often said, “the pubs wouldn't get rich off him,” since he sometimes went weeks without a drink, except for a glass or two during Sunday dinner, which he didn't see as an unnecessary expense because it was almost as cheap as tea or coffee.
Fortunately his wife was a good needlewoman, and as sober and industrious as himself; by dint of slaving incessantly from morning till night she managed to keep her home fairly comfortable and the children clean and decently dressed; they always looked respectable, although they did not always have enough proper food to eat. They looked so respectable that none of the “visiting ladies” ever regarded them as deserving cases.
Fortunately, his wife was a skilled seamstress, just as serious and hardworking as he was; by working tirelessly from morning till night, she managed to keep their home fairly comfortable and the kids clean and dressed decently. They always looked respectable, even though they didn’t always have enough proper food to eat. They appeared so respectable that none of the “visiting ladies” ever considered them as families in need.
Harlow paid fifteen shillings a year for his plot of ground, and although it meant a lot of hard work it was also a source of pleasure and some profit. He generally made a few shillings out of the flowers, besides having enough potatoes and other vegetables to last them nearly all the year.
Harlow paid fifteen shillings a year for his piece of land, and while it required a lot of hard work, it also brought him joy and some profit. He usually earned a few shillings from the flowers, along with enough potatoes and other vegetables to last them nearly the whole year.
Sometimes Easton went over to the allotments and lent Harlow a hand with this gardening work, but whether he went there or to the Cricketers, he usually returned home about half past nine, and then went straight to bed, often without speaking a single word to Ruth, who for her part seldom spoke to him except to answer something he said, or to ask some necessary question. At first, Easton used to think that it was all because of the way he had behaved to her in the public house, but when he apologized—as he did several times—and begged her to forgive him and forget about it, she always said it was all right; there was nothing to forgive. Then, after a time, he began to think it was on account of their poverty and the loss of their home, for nearly all their furniture had been sold during the last winter. But whenever he talked of trying to buy some more things to make the place comfortable again, she did not appear to take any interest: the house was neat enough as it was: they could manage very well, she said, indifferently.
Sometimes Easton would head over to the community gardens and help Harlow with his gardening, but whether he went there or to the Cricketers, he usually came home around 9:30 and went straight to bed, often without saying a word to Ruth, who rarely spoke to him unless it was to respond to something he said or to ask a necessary question. At first, Easton thought it was all because of how he had treated her at the pub, but when he apologized—as he did several times—and asked her to forgive him and move on, she always said it was fine; there was nothing to forgive. Over time, he started to think it was because of their financial struggles and the loss of their home, since they had sold almost all their furniture during the past winter. But whenever he mentioned trying to get more things to make the place comfortable again, she didn’t seem interested: the house was neat enough as it was, she said, and they could manage just fine.
One evening, about the middle of June, when he had been over to the allotments, Easton brought her home a bunch of flowers that Harlow had given him—some red and white roses and some pansies. When he came in, Ruth was packing his food basket for the next day. The baby was asleep in its cot on the floor near the window. Although it was nearly nine o’clock the lamp had not yet been lighted and the mournful twilight that entered the room through the open window increased the desolation of its appearance. The fire had burnt itself out and the grate was filled with ashes. On the hearth was an old rug made of jute that had once been printed in bright colours which had faded away till the whole surface had become almost uniformly drab, showing scarcely any trace of the original pattern. The rest of the floor was bare except for two or three small pieces of old carpet that Ruth had bought for a few pence at different times at some inferior second-hand shop. The chairs and the table were almost the only things that were left of the original furniture of the room, and except for three or four plates of different patterns and sizes and a few cups and saucers, the shelves of the dresser were bare.
One evening, around the middle of June, after visiting the allotments, Easton brought home a bunch of flowers that Harlow had given him—some red and white roses and some pansies. When he walked in, Ruth was packing his food basket for the next day. The baby was asleep in its crib on the floor near the window. Even though it was almost nine o’clock, the lamp hadn’t been turned on yet, and the gloomy twilight streaming in through the open window made the room look even more desolate. The fire had burned out, leaving the grate filled with ashes. On the hearth was an old jute rug that had once been printed in vibrant colors, which had faded so much that the whole surface was almost uniformly dull, showing hardly any traces of the original pattern. The rest of the floor was bare except for a couple of small pieces of old carpet that Ruth had picked up for a few pennies at various second-hand shops. The chairs and table were nearly the only remnants of the room’s original furniture, and aside from three or four mismatched plates and a few cups and saucers, the shelves of the dresser were empty.
The stillness of the atmosphere was disturbed only by the occasional sound of the wheels of a passing vehicle and the strangely distinct voices of some children who were playing in the street.
The quiet atmosphere was interrupted only by the occasional sound of a passing vehicle's wheels and the surprisingly clear voices of some kids playing in the street.
“I’ve brought you these,” said Easton, offering her the flowers. “I thought you’d like them. I got them from Harlow. You know I’ve been helping him a little with his garden.”
“I brought you these,” Easton said, handing her the flowers. “I thought you’d like them. I got them from Harlow. You know I’ve been helping him out a bit with his garden.”
At first he thought she did not want to take them. She was standing at the table with her back to the window, so that he was unable to see the expression of her face, and she hesitated for a moment before she faltered out some words of thanks and took the flowers, which she put down on the table almost as soon as she touched them.
At first, he thought she didn't want to take them. She was standing at the table with her back to the window, so he couldn't see her facial expression, and she hesitated for a moment before she mumbled some words of thanks and took the flowers, which she set down on the table almost as soon as she touched them.
Offended at what he considered her contemptuous indifference, Easton made no further attempt at conversation but went into the scullery to wash his hands, and then went up to bed.
Offended by what he saw as her dismissive indifference, Easton didn’t try to talk again but went into the kitchen to wash his hands and then headed to bed.
Downstairs, for a long time after he was gone, Ruth sat alone by the fireless grate, in the silence and the gathering shadows, holding the bunch of flowers in her hand, living over again the events of the last year, and consumed with an agony of remorse.
Downstairs, long after he had left, Ruth sat by the cold fireplace, in the silence and the deepening shadows, holding the bunch of flowers in her hand, replaying the events of the past year, and overwhelmed with a deep sense of regret.
The presence of Mary Linden and the two children in the house probably saved Ruth from being more unhappy than she was. Little Elsie had made an arrangement with her to be allowed to take the baby out for walks, and in return Ruth did Elsie’s housework. As for Mary, she had not much time to do anything but sew, almost the only relaxation she knew being when she took the work home, and on Sunday, which she usually devoted to a general clean-up of the room, and to mending the children’s clothes. Sometimes on Sunday evening she used to go with Ruth and the children to see Mrs Owen, who, although she was not ill enough to stay in bed, seldom went out of the house. She had never really recovered from the attack of illness which was brought on by her work at the boarding house. The doctor had been to see her once or twice and had prescribed—rest. She was to lie down as much as possible, not to do any heavy work—not to carry or lift any heavy articles, scrub floors, make beds, or anything of that sort: and she was to take plenty of nourishing food, beef tea, chicken, a little wine and so on. He did not suggest a trip round the world in a steam yacht or a visit to Switzerland—perhaps he thought they might not be able to afford it. Sometimes she was so ill that she had to observe one at least of the doctor’s instructions—to lie down: and then she would worry and fret because she was not able to do the housework and because Owen had to prepare his own tea when he came home at night. On one of these occasions it would have been necessary for Owen to stay at home from work if it had not been for Mrs Easton, who came for several days in succession to look after her and attend to the house.
The presence of Mary Linden and the two kids in the house probably kept Ruth from being even more miserable than she already was. Little Elsie had arranged to take the baby out for walks in exchange for Ruth handling her housework. As for Mary, she barely had time for anything other than sewing; her only real relaxation came when she took work home or on Sundays, which she usually spent deep cleaning the room and mending the kids’ clothes. Sometimes on Sunday evenings, she would go with Ruth and the children to visit Mrs. Owen, who, although she wasn’t sick enough to stay in bed, rarely left the house. She had never really bounced back from the illness triggered by her work at the boarding house. The doctor had seen her a couple of times and had prescribed—rest. She was supposed to lie down as much as possible, avoid heavy work—no lifting or carrying heavy items, scrubbing floors, making beds, or anything like that—and eat plenty of nourishing food like beef tea, chicken, and a little wine. He didn’t suggest a world cruise on a steam yacht or a trip to Switzerland—maybe he thought they couldn't afford it. Sometimes she felt so unwell that she had to follow at least one of the doctor's orders—to lie down—and then she’d worry because she couldn't do the housework and because Owen had to make his own dinner when he got home at night. On one of those occasions, Owen would have needed to stay home from work if it weren't for Mrs. Easton, who came for several days in a row to take care of her and manage the house.
Fortunately, Owen’s health was better since the weather had become warmer. For a long time after the attack of haemorrhage he had while writing the show-card he used to dread going to sleep at night for fear it should recur. He had heard of people dying in their sleep from that cause. But this terror gradually left him. Nora knew nothing of what occurred that night: to have told her would have done no good, but on the contrary would have caused her a lot of useless anxiety. Sometimes he doubted whether it was right not to tell her, but as time went by and his health continued to improve he was glad he had said nothing about it.
Fortunately, Owen’s health had improved since the weather got warmer. After the hemorrhage he experienced while making the show-card, he used to dread going to sleep at night, worried it might happen again. He had heard about people dying in their sleep from that. But that fear eventually faded. Nora was unaware of what happened that night; telling her wouldn’t have helped and would have only caused her unnecessary worry. Sometimes he questioned if it was right not to tell her, but as time passed and his health kept getting better, he was relieved he hadn’t said anything about it.
Frankie had lately resumed his athletic exercises with the flat iron: his strength was returning since Owen had been working regularly, because he had been having his porridge and milk again and also some Parrish’s Food which a chemist at Windley was selling large bottles of for a shilling. He used to have what he called a “party” two or three times a week with Elsie, Charley and Easton’s baby as the guests. Sometimes, if Mrs Owen were not well, Elsie used to stay in with her after tea and do some housework while the boys went out to play, but more frequently the four children used to go together to the park to play or sail boats on the lake. Once one of the boats was becalmed about a couple of yards from shore and while trying to reach it with a stick Frankie fell into the water, and when Charley tried to drag him out he fell in also. Elsie put the baby down on the bank and seized hold of Charley and while she was trying to get him out, the baby began rolling down, and would probably have tumbled in as well if a man who happened to be passing by had not rushed up in time to prevent it. Fortunately the water at that place was only about two feet deep, so the boys were not much the worse for their ducking. They returned home wet through, smothered with mud, and feeling very important, like boys who had distinguished themselves.
Frankie recently started his workouts with the flat iron again. His strength was coming back since Owen had been working out regularly, plus he was eating porridge and milk again, along with some Parrish’s Food that a chemist in Windley was selling in large bottles for a shilling. He would host what he called a “party” two or three times a week with Elsie, Charley, and Easton’s baby as the guests. Sometimes, when Mrs. Owen wasn’t feeling well, Elsie would stay home with her after tea to help with some chores while the boys went out to play, but more often the four kids would head to the park together to play or sail boats on the lake. Once, one of the boats got stuck a couple of yards from shore, and while Frankie was trying to reach it with a stick, he fell into the water. When Charley attempted to pull him out, he ended up falling in too. Elsie set the baby down on the bank and grabbed Charley, and while she was trying to get him out, the baby started rolling down and would have fallen in as well if a man passing by hadn’t rushed over just in time to stop it. Luckily, the water there was only about two feet deep, so the boys were fine after their dip. They came home soaking wet, covered in mud, and feeling really proud, like boys who had achieved something special.
After this, whenever she could manage to spare the time, Ruth Easton used to go with the children to the park. There was a kind of summer-house near the shore of the lake, only a few feet away from the water’s edge, surrounded and shaded by trees, whose branches arched over the path and drooped down to the surface of the water. While the children played Ruth used to sit in this arbour and sew, but often her work was neglected and forgotten as she gazed pensively at the water, which just there looked very still, and dark, and deep, for it was sheltered from the wind and over-shadowed by the trees that lined the banks at the end of the lake.
After this, whenever she could find the time, Ruth Easton would take the kids to the park. There was a kind of summerhouse near the edge of the lake, just a few feet from the water, surrounded and shaded by trees, whose branches arched over the path and dipped down to the surface of the water. While the kids played, Ruth would sit in this nook and sew, but often her work was set aside and forgotten as she stared thoughtfully at the water, which there looked very calm, dark, and deep, since it was protected from the wind and overshadowed by the trees lining the banks at the end of the lake.
Sometimes, if it happened to be raining, instead of going out the children used to have some games in the house. On one such occasion Frankie produced the flat iron and went through the exercise, and Charley had a go as well. But although he was slightly older and taller than Frankie he could not lift the iron so often or hold it out so long as the other, a failure that Frankie attributed to the fact that Charley had too much tea and bread and butter instead of porridge and milk and Parrish’s Food. Charley was so upset about his lack of strength that he arranged with Frankie to come home with him the next day after school to see his mother about it. Mrs Linden had a flat iron, so they gave a demonstration of their respective powers before her. Mrs Easton being also present, by request, because Frankie said that the diet in question was suitable for babies as well as big children. He had been brought up on it ever since he could remember, and it was almost as cheap as bread and butter and tea.
Sometimes, when it was raining, instead of going outside, the kids would play games at home. On one of those occasions, Frankie brought out the flat iron and demonstrated how to use it, and Charley had a turn as well. But even though he was a bit older and taller than Frankie, he struggled to lift the iron as often or hold it out as long as Frankie could. Frankie blamed this on the fact that Charley had too much tea and bread and butter instead of porridge and milk and Parrish’s Food. Charley was so frustrated about his lack of strength that he planned with Frankie to go home with him the next day after school to talk to his mom about it. Mrs. Linden had a flat iron, so they decided to show her what they could do. Mrs. Easton was also there at Frankie's request because he said the diet in question was good for both babies and older kids. He had been raised on it for as long as he could remember, and it was almost as affordable as bread and butter and tea.
The result of the exhibition was that Mrs Linden promised to make porridge for Charley and Elsie whenever she could spare the time, and Mrs Easton said she would try it for the baby also.
The outcome of the exhibition was that Mrs. Linden promised to make porridge for Charley and Elsie whenever she could find the time, and Mrs. Easton said she would give it a shot for the baby too.
Chapter 43
The Good Old Summer-time
All through the summer the crowd of ragged-trousered philanthropists continued to toil and sweat at their noble and unselfish task of making money for Mr Rushton.
All summer long, the group of ragged trousered philanthropists kept working hard and sweating for their noble and selfless task of making money for Mr. Rushton.
Painting the outsides of houses and shops, washing off and distempering ceilings, stripping old paper off walls, painting and papering rooms and staircases, building new rooms or other additions to old houses or business premises, digging up old drains, repairing leaky roofs and broken windows.
Painting the exteriors of houses and shops, cleaning and repainting ceilings, removing old wallpaper from walls, painting and wallpapering rooms and staircases, adding new rooms or other extensions to old houses or businesses, digging up old drains, fixing leaky roofs and broken windows.
Their zeal and enthusiasm in the good cause was unbounded. They were supposed to start work at six o’clock, but most of them were usually to be found waiting outside the job at about a quarter to that hour, sitting on the kerbstones or the doorstep.
Their passion and excitement for the cause were limitless. They were supposed to start work at six o’clock, but most of them could typically be found waiting outside the job around a quarter to that hour, sitting on the curb or the doorstep.
Their operations extended all over the town: at all hours of the day they were to be seen either going or returning from “jobs”, carrying ladders, planks, pots of paint, pails of whitewash, earthenware, chimney pots, drainpipes, lengths of guttering, closet pans, grates, bundles of wallpaper, buckets of paste, sacks of cement, and loads of bricks and mortar. Quite a common spectacle—for gods and men—was a procession consisting of a handcart loaded up with such materials being pushed or dragged through the public streets by about half a dozen of these Imperialists in broken boots and with battered, stained, discoloured bowler hats, or caps splashed with paint and whitewash; their stand-up collars dirty, limp and crumpled, and their rotten second-hand misfit clothing saturated with sweat and plastered with mortar.
Their work extended all over the town: at all hours of the day, you could see them either going to or coming back from “jobs,” carrying ladders, planks, cans of paint, buckets of whitewash, pottery, chimney pots, drainpipes, sections of guttering, toilet bowls, grates, rolls of wallpaper, buckets of paste, sacks of cement, and loads of bricks and mortar. It was a pretty common sight—both for people and onlookers—a procession of a handcart loaded up with such materials being pushed or pulled through the streets by about half a dozen of these workers in worn-out boots and beat-up, stained, discolored bowler hats, or caps splattered with paint and whitewash; their stand-up collars dirty, limp, and wrinkled, and their shabby, second-hand ill-fitting clothes soaked with sweat and covered in mortar.
Even the assistants in the grocers’ and drapers’ shops laughed and ridiculed and pointed the finger of scorn at them as they passed.
Even the shop assistants in the grocery and fabric stores laughed, mocked, and pointed in scorn at them as they walked by.
The superior classes—those who do nothing—regarded them as a sort of lower animals. A letter appeared in the Obscurer one week from one of these well-dressed loafers, complaining of the annoyance caused to the better-class visitors by workmen walking on the pavement as they passed along the Grand Parade in the evening on their way home from work, and suggesting that they should walk in the roadway. When they heard of the letter a lot of the workmen adopted the suggestion and walked in the road so as to avoid contaminating the idlers.
The upper classes—those who do nothing—saw them as a kind of lower animals. One week, a letter showed up in the Obscurer from one of these well-dressed loungers, complaining about the irritation workmen caused to the more privileged visitors by walking on the sidewalk as they made their way home from work along the Grand Parade in the evening, and suggested that they should walk in the street instead. After hearing about the letter, many of the workers followed the suggestion and walked in the road to avoid bothering the idle.
This letter was followed by others of a somewhat similar kind, and one or two written in a patronizing strain in defence of the working classes by persons who evidently knew nothing about them. There was also a letter from an individual who signed himself “Morpheus” complaining that he was often awakened out of his beauty sleep in the middle of the night by the clattering noise of the workmen’s boots as they passed his house on their way to work in the morning. “Morpheus” wrote that not only did they make a dreadful noise with their horrible iron-clad boots, but they were in the habit of coughing and spitting a great deal, which was very unpleasant to hear, and they conversed in loud tones. Sometimes their conversation was not at all edifying, for it consisted largely of bad language, which “Morpheus” assumed to be attributable to the fact that they were out of temper because they had to rise so early.
This letter was followed by a few others that were kind of similar, and one or two that had a patronizing tone, defending the working class by people who clearly knew nothing about them. There was also a letter from someone who signed as "Morpheus," complaining that he was often woken from his beauty sleep in the middle of the night by the loud noise of the workers' boots as they passed his house on their way to work in the morning. "Morpheus" wrote that not only did they make an awful noise with their clunky boots, but they also had a habit of coughing and spitting a lot, which was really unpleasant to hear, and they talked loudly. Sometimes their conversations were far from wholesome, as they included a lot of profanity, which "Morpheus" assumed was because they were in a bad mood for having to get up so early.
As a rule they worked till half-past five in the evening, and by the time they reached home it was six o’clock. When they had taken their evening meal and had a wash it was nearly eight: about nine most of them went to bed so as to be able to get up about half past four the next morning to make a cup of tea before leaving home at half past five to go to work again. Frequently it happened that they had to leave home earlier than this, because their “job” was more than half an hour’s walk away. It did not matter how far away the “job” was from the shop, the men had to walk to and fro in their own time, for Trades Union rules were a dead letter in Mugsborough. There were no tram fares or train fares or walking time allowed for the likes of them.
As a rule, they worked until 5:30 PM, and by the time they got home, it was 6:00. After having dinner and washing up, it was nearly 8:00; most of them went to bed around 9:00 so they could wake up at 4:30 the next morning to make a cup of tea before leaving the house at 5:30 to go back to work. Often, they had to leave home even earlier because their job was more than a half-hour walk away. It didn't matter how far their job was from the shop; the men had to walk back and forth during their own time since Trades Union rules were completely ignored in Mugsborough. There were no tram fares, train fares, or walking time permitted for people like them.
Ninety-nine out of every hundred of them did not believe in such things as those: they had much more sense than to join Trades Unions: on the contrary, they believed in placing themselves entirely at the mercy of their good, kind Liberal and Tory masters.
Ninety-nine out of every hundred of them didn't believe in things like that: they were way too sensible to join Trade Unions; instead, they trusted themselves completely to the care of their generous, kind Liberal and Tory bosses.
Very frequently it happened, when only a few men were working together, that it was not convenient to make tea for breakfast or dinner, and then some of them brought tea with them ready made in bottles and drank it cold; but most of them went to the nearest pub and ate their food there with a glass of beer. Even those who would rather have had tea or coffee had beer, because if they went to a temperance restaurant or coffee tavern it generally happened that they were not treated very civilly unless they bought something to eat as well as to drink, and the tea at such places was really dearer than beer, and the latter was certainly quite as good to drink as the stewed tea or the liquid mud that was sold as coffee at cheap “Workmen’s” Eating Houses.
Very often, when only a few guys were working together, it wasn't practical to make tea for breakfast or dinner. So, some of them brought ready-made tea in bottles and drank it cold. But most went to the nearest pub and had their meals there with a beer. Even those who would have preferred tea or coffee opted for beer because, if they went to a temperance restaurant or coffee shop, they usually weren't treated very well unless they also ordered food. Plus, the tea at those places was actually more expensive than beer, and beer was definitely just as good to drink as the weak tea or the terrible coffee that was served at cheap "Workmen’s" Eating Houses.
There were some who were—as they thought—exceptionally lucky: the firms they worked for were busy enough to let them work two hours’ overtime every night—till half past seven—without stopping for tea. Most of these arrived home about eight, completely flattened out. Then they had some tea and a wash and before they knew where they were it was about half past nine. Then they went to sleep again till half past four or five the next morning.
There were some who believed they were really lucky: the companies they worked for were so busy that they could put in two hours of overtime every night—until 7:30—without a break for tea. Most of them got home around 8, completely exhausted. Then they had some tea and cleaned up, and before they realized it, it was about 9:30. After that, they went to sleep again until around 4:30 or 5 the next morning.
They were usually so tired when they got home at night that they never had any inclination for study or any kind of self-improvement, even if they had had the time. They had plenty of time to study during the winter: and their favourite subject then was, how to preserve themselves from starving to death.
They were usually so exhausted when they got home at night that they had no desire for studying or any kind of self-improvement, even if they had the time. They had plenty of time to study during the winter, and their favorite topic then was how to keep themselves from starving to death.
This overtime, however, was the exception, for although in former years it had been the almost invariable rule to work till half past seven in summer, most of the firms now made a practice of ceasing work at five-thirty. The revolution which had taken place in this matter was a favourite topic of conversation amongst the men, who spoke regretfully of the glorious past, when things were busy, and they used to work fifteen, sixteen and even eighteen hours a day. But nowadays there were nearly as many chaps out of work in the summer as in the winter. They used to discuss the causes of the change. One was, of course, the fact that there was not so much building going on as formerly, and another was the speeding up and slave-driving, and the manner in which the work was now done, or rather scamped. As old Philpot said, he could remember the time, when he was a nipper, when such a “job” as that at “The Cave” would have lasted at least six months, and they would have had more hands on it too! But it would have been done properly, not messed up like that was: all the woodwork would have been rubbed down with pumice stone and water: all the knots cut out and the holes properly filled up, and the work properly rubbed down with glass-paper between every coat. But nowadays the only place you’d see a bit of pumice stone was in a glass case in a museum, with a label on it: “Pumice Stone: formerly used by house-painters.”
This overtime, however, was the exception. Although in previous years it was almost always the rule to work until half past seven in the summer, most companies now made it a practice to stop work at five-thirty. The shift that had happened in this regard was a popular topic of conversation among the guys, who spoke nostalgically about the glorious past when things were busy, and they used to work fifteen, sixteen, or even eighteen hours a day. But these days, there were almost as many guys out of work in the summer as in the winter. They would discuss the reasons for the change. One was, of course, that there wasn't as much building happening as before, and another was the pressure and harsh work conditions, and the way work was now done, or rather rushed. As old Philpot said, he could remember a time, when he was young, when a "job" like that at "The Cave" would have taken at least six months and had more workers on it too. But it would have been done right, not botched like it was: all the woodwork would have been smoothed down with pumice stone and water, all the knots would have been cut out, and the holes properly filled in, with the work properly sanded between each coat. But these days, the only place you’d see a bit of pumice stone was in a glass case in a museum, with a label on it: “Pumice Stone: formerly used by house-painters.”
Most of them spoke of those bygone times with poignant regret, but there were a few—generally fellows who had been contaminated by contact with Socialists or whose characters had been warped and degraded by the perusal of Socialist literature—who said that they did not desire to work overtime at all—ten hours a day were quite enough for them—in fact they would rather do only eight. What they wanted, they said, was not more work, but more grub, more clothes, more leisure, more pleasure and better homes. They wanted to be able to go for country walks or bicycle rides, to go out fishing or to go to the seaside and bathe and lie on the beach and so forth. But these were only a very few; there were not many so selfish as this. The majority desired nothing but to be allowed to work, and as for their children, why, “what was good enough for themselves oughter be good enough for the kids”.
Most of them talked about those past times with a deep sense of loss, but there were a few—mostly guys who had been influenced by Socialists or whose views had been twisted and degraded by reading Socialist literature—who said they didn’t want to work overtime at all—ten hours a day was plenty for them—in fact, they’d rather just work eight. What they wanted, they said, wasn’t more work, but more food, more clothes, more free time, more fun, and better homes. They wanted to be able to take country walks or go for bike rides, to fish, or to visit the beach to swim and relax. But these were just a tiny minority; not many were that selfish. The majority just wanted the chance to work, and as for their kids, well, “what was good enough for them ought to be good enough for the kids.”
They often said that such things as leisure, culture, pleasure and the benefits of civilization were never intended for “the likes of us”.
They often said that things like leisure, culture, pleasure, and the benefits of civilization were never meant for "people like us."
They did not—all—actually say this, but that was what their conduct amounted to; for they not only refused to help to bring about a better state of things for their children, but they ridiculed and opposed and cursed and abused those who were trying to do it for them. The foulest words that came out of their mouths were directed against the men of their own class in the House of Commons—the Labour Members—and especially the Socialists, whom they spoke of as fellows who were too bloody lazy to work for a living, and who wanted the working classes to keep them.
They didn’t all explicitly say this, but that was the message their actions conveyed; they not only refused to help create a better future for their children, but they also mocked, opposed, and harshly criticized those who were trying to do it for them. The worst insults they hurled were aimed at the members of their own class in the House of Commons—the Labour Members—especially the Socialists, whom they referred to as people who were too lazy to earn a living and wanted the working class to support them.
Some of them said that they did not believe in helping their children to become anything better than their parents had been because in such cases the children, when they grew up, “looked down” upon and were ashamed of their fathers and mothers! They seemed to think that if they loved and did their duty to their children, the probability was that the children would prove ungrateful: as if even if that were true, it would be any excuse for their indifference.
Some of them said they didn’t believe in helping their kids become better than their parents had been because, in those cases, the kids would, when they grew up, “look down on” and be ashamed of their moms and dads! They seemed to think that if they loved and did their duty by their kids, the kids would likely be ungrateful: as if, even if that were true, it would be any reason for their indifference.
Another cause of the shortage of work was the intrusion into the trade of so many outsiders: fellows like Sawkins and the other lightweights. Whatever other causes there were, there could be no doubt that the hurrying and scamping was a very real one. Every “job” had to be done at once! as if it were a matter of life or death! It must be finished by a certain time. If the “job” was at an empty house, Misery’s yarn was that it was let! the people were coming in at the end of the week! therefore everything must be finished by Wednesday night. All the ceilings had to be washed off, the walls stripped and repapered, and two coats of paint inside and outside the house. New drains were to be put in, and all broken windows and locks and broken plaster repaired. A number of men—usually about half as many as there should have been—would be sent to do the work, and one man was put in charge of the “job”. These sub-foremen or “coddies” knew that if they “made their jobs pay” they would be put in charge of others and be kept on in preference to other men as long as the firm had any work; so they helped Misery to scheme and scamp the work and watched and drove the men under their charge; and these latter poor wretches, knowing that their only chance of retaining their employment was to “tear into it”, tore into it like so many maniacs. Instead of cleaning any parts of the woodwork that were greasy or very dirty, they brushed them over with a coat of spirit varnish before painting to make sure that the paint would dry: places where the plaster of the walls was damaged were repaired with what was humorously called “garden cement”—which was the technical term for dirt out of the garden—and the surface was skimmed over with proper material. Ceilings that were not very dirty were not washed off, but dusted, and lightly gone over with a thin coat of whitewash. The old paper was often left upon the walls of rooms that were supposed to be stripped before being repapered, and to conceal this the joints of the old paper were rubbed down so that they should not be perceptible through the new paper. As far as possible, Misery and the sub-foreman avoided doing the work the customers paid for, and even what little they did was hurried over anyhow.
Another reason for the lack of work was the invasion of so many outsiders in the trade: guys like Sawkins and the other lightweights. Whatever other factors were at play, there’s no doubt that the rushing and cutting corners was a very real issue. Every “job” had to be done immediately, as if it was a matter of life or death! It had to be finished by a certain time. If the “job” was at an empty house, Misery’s story was that it was rented! People were moving in at the end of the week! So everything had to be completed by Wednesday night. All the ceilings had to be cleaned, the walls stripped and repapered, and two coats of paint applied inside and outside the house. New drains were to be installed, and all broken windows, locks, and damaged plaster repaired. A number of men—usually about half as many as needed—were sent to do the work, and one man was assigned to oversee the “job.” These sub-foremen or “coddies” knew that if they “made their jobs pay,” they would get assigned to others and kept on as long as the firm had work; so they helped Misery scheme and cut corners and watched over the men under their charge. These unfortunate workers, realizing that their only chance of keeping their jobs was to “go for it,” threw themselves into the work like maniacs. Instead of cleaning any greasy or dirty woodwork, they brushed it with a coat of spirit varnish before painting to ensure the paint would dry; areas where the plaster was damaged were fixed with what was jokingly called “garden cement”—the technical term for dirt from the garden—and then skimmed with proper material. Ceilings that weren’t very dirty weren’t washed but just dusted and lightly covered with a thin coat of whitewash. The old paper was often left on the walls of rooms that were supposed to be stripped before being repapered, and to hide this, the seams of the old paper were smoothed down so they wouldn’t be visible through the new paper. As much as possible, Misery and the sub-foreman avoided doing the work that customers were paying for, and even what little they did was rushed and poorly done.
A reign of terror—the terror of the sack—prevailed on all the “jobs”, which were carried on to the accompaniment of a series of alarums and excursions: no man felt safe for a moment: at the most unexpected times Misery would arrive and rush like a whirlwind all over the “job”. If he happened to find a man having a spell the culprit was immediately discharged, but he did not get the opportunity of doing this very often for everybody was too terrified to leave off working even for a few minutes’ rest.
A reign of terror—the terror of the sack—took over all the “jobs,” which were carried out with constant alarms and disruptions: no one felt safe for a second. Misery would show up unexpectedly and sweep through the “job” like a whirlwind. If he caught someone taking a break, the person was immediately fired, but this didn’t happen often because everyone was too scared to stop working, even for a few minutes of rest.
From the moment of Hunter’s arrival until his departure, a state of panic, hurry, scurry and turmoil reigned. His strident voice rang through the house as he bellowed out to them to “Rouse themselves! Get it done! Smear it on anyhow! Tar it over! We’ve got another job to start when you’ve done this!”
From the moment Hunter arrived until he left, there was chaos, rushing, and confusion everywhere. His loud voice echoed through the house as he shouted at them to “Wake up! Get it done! Slap it on anyway! Cover it up! We’ve got another job to start once you finish this!”
Occasionally, just to keep the others up to concert pitch, he used to sack one of the men for being too slow. They all trembled before him and ran about whenever he spoke to or called them, because they knew that there were always a lot of other men out of work who would be willing and eager to fill their places if they got the sack.
Occasionally, just to keep the others on their toes, he would fire one of the guys for being too slow. They all trembled around him and hurried whenever he spoke to or called them because they knew there were always plenty of other people looking for work who would be more than happy to take their jobs if they got let go.
Although it was now summer, and the Distress Committee and all the other committees had suspended operations, there was still always a large number of men hanging about the vicinity of the Fountain on the Parade—The Wage Slave Market. When men finished up for the firm they were working for they usually made for that place. Any master in want of a wage slave for a few hours, days or weeks could always buy one there. The men knew this and they also knew that if they got the sack from one firm it was no easy matter to get another job, and that was why they were terrified.
Although it was now summer and the Distress Committee and all the other committees had stopped their operations, there were still many men loitering around the Fountain on the Parade—The Wage Slave Market. When men finished work for their company, they usually headed to that spot. Any employer in need of a temporary worker for a few hours, days, or weeks could always find one there. The men were aware of this, and they also understood that if they were let go from one job, it wasn’t easy to find another, which is why they were so scared.
When Misery was gone—to repeat the same performance at some other job—the sub-foreman would have a crawl round to see how the chaps were getting on: to find out if they had used up all their paint yet, or to bring them some putty so that they should not have to leave their work to go to get anything themselves: and then very often Rushton himself would come and stalk quietly about the house or stand silently behind the men, watching them as they worked. He seldom spoke to anyone, but just stood there like a graven image, or walked about like a dumb animal—a pig, as the men used to say. This individual had a very exalted idea of his own importance and dignity. One man got the sack for presuming to stop him in the street to ask some questions about some work that was being done.
When Misery left—to go do the same thing at another job—the sub-foreman would take a walk around to see how the guys were doing: to check if they had used up all their paint or to bring them some putty so they wouldn’t have to leave their work to get anything themselves. And often, Rushton himself would come and quietly wander around the house or stand silently behind the workers, watching them as they did their tasks. He hardly ever spoke to anyone, just stood there like a statue or walked around like a dumb animal—a pig, as the workers used to say. This guy had a very inflated sense of his own importance and dignity. One man got fired for daring to stop him in the street to ask some questions about a job that was being done.
Misery went round to all the jobs the next day and told all the “coddies” to tell all the hands that they were never to speak to Mr Rushton if they met him in the street, and the following Saturday the man who had so offended was given his back day, ostensibly because there was nothing for him to do, but really for the reason stated above.
Misery went around to all the jobs the next day and told all the “coddies” to inform all the workers that they were never to talk to Mr. Rushton if they saw him on the street. Then, the following Saturday, the man who had offended was given his day off, supposedly because there was nothing for him to do, but really for the reason mentioned above.
There was one job, the outside of a large house that stood on elevated ground overlooking the town. The men who were working there were even more than usually uncomfortable, for it was said that Rushton used to sit in his office and watch them through a telescope.
There was one job: the outside of a big house that was on a hill overlooking the town. The workers there were even more uncomfortable than usual because it was rumored that Rushton used to sit in his office and watch them through a telescope.
Sometimes, when it was really necessary to get a job done by a certain time, they had to work late, perhaps till eight or nine o’clock. No time was allowed for tea, but some of them brought sufficient food with them in the morning to enable them to have a little about six o’clock in the evening. Others arranged for their children to bring them some tea from home. As a rule, they partook of this without stopping work: they had it on the floor beside them and ate and drank and worked at the same time—a paint-brushful of white lead in one hand, and a piece of bread and margarine in the other. On some jobs, if the “coddy” happened to be a decent sort, they posted a sentry to look out for Hunter or Rushton while the others knocked off for a few minutes to snatch a mouthful of grub; but it was not safe always to do this, for there was often some crawling sneak with an ambition to become a “coddy” who would not scruple to curry favour with Misery by reporting the crime.
Sometimes, when it was really important to finish a job by a certain time, they had to work late, maybe until eight or nine o’clock. They didn’t have time for tea, but some of them brought enough food with them in the morning to have a little around six o’clock in the evening. Others arranged for their kids to bring them some tea from home. Generally, they had this without stopping work: they kept it on the floor beside them and ate, drank, and worked at the same time—a paintbrush full of white lead in one hand and a piece of bread and margarine in the other. On some jobs, if the “coddy” happened to be a decent person, they would get someone to watch out for Hunter or Rushton while the others took a few minutes to grab a bite to eat; but it wasn’t always safe to do this, as there was often some sneaky person with ambitions to become a “coddy” who wouldn’t hesitate to try to impress Misery by reporting the offense.
As an additional precaution against the possibility of any of the men idling or wasting their time, each one was given a time-sheet on which he was required to account for every minute of the day. The form of these sheets vary slightly with different firms: that of Rushton & Co., was as shown.
As an extra precaution to prevent any of the men from slacking off or wasting time, each one was given a time-sheet where he had to record every minute of the day. The layout of these sheets varies slightly from company to company: the one from Rushton & Co. is shown.
Time Sheet | ||
OF WORK DONE BY | IN THE EMPLOY OF | |
RUSHTON & CO | ||
BUILDERS & DECORATORS | : | MUGSBOROUGH |
NO SMOKING OR INTOXICANTS ALLOWED DURING WORKING HOURS | ||
EACH PIECE OF WORK MUST BE FULLY DESCRIBED, WHAT IT WAS, AND HOW LONG IT TOOK TO DO. |
Where Working | Time When Started |
Time When Finished |
Hours | What Doing | |
Sat. | |||||
Mon. | |||||
Tues. | |||||
Wed. | |||||
Thur. | |||||
Fri. | |||||
Total Hours |
One Monday morning Misery gave each of the sub-foremen an envelope containing one of the firm’s memorandum forms. Crass opened his and found the following:
One Monday morning, Misery handed each of the sub-foremen an envelope with one of the company’s memo forms inside. Crass opened his and found this:
Crass
Rude
When you are on a job with men under you, check and initial their time-sheets every night.
When you're supervising a team, make sure to review and sign their time sheets every night.
If they are called away and sent to some other job, or stood off, check and initial their time-sheets as they leave your job.
If they are reassigned to another job or held back, make sure to check and initial their time sheets as they leave your job.
Any man coming on your job during the day, you must take note of the exact time of his arrival, and see that his sheet is charged right.
Any man who comes to your job during the day, you need to record the exact time of his arrival and make sure his sheet is correctly filled out.
Any man who is slow or lazy, or any man that you notice talking more than is necessary during working hours, you must report him to Mr Hunter. We expect you and the other foremen to help us to carry out these rules, AND ANY INFORMATION GIVEN US ABOUT ANY MAN IS TREATED IN CONFIDENCE.
Any man who is slow or lazy, or anyone you notice talking more than necessary during working hours, must be reported to Mr. Hunter. We expect you and the other foremen to help us enforce these rules, AND ANY INFORMATION YOU PROVIDE ABOUT ANY MAN WILL BE KEPT CONFIDENTIAL.
Rushton & Co.
Rushton & Co.
Note: This applies to all men of all trades who come on the jobs of which you are the foreman.
Note: This applies to all men in every trade who work on the jobs where you are the foreman.
Every week the time-sheets were scrutinized, and every now and then a man would be “had up on the carpet” in the office before Rushton and Misery, and interrogated as to why he had taken fifteen hours to do ten hours work? In the event of the accused being unable to give a satisfactory explanation of his conduct he was usually sacked on the spot.
Every week, the time sheets were closely examined, and every now and then, a guy would be called into the office to face Rushton and Misery, and grilled about why he had taken fifteen hours to complete ten hours of work. If the person couldn't provide a convincing explanation for his actions, he was usually fired on the spot.
Misery was frequently called “up on the carpet” himself.
Misery was often called "on the carpet" himself.
If he made a mistake in figuring out a “job”, and gave in too high a tender for it, so that the firm did not get the work, Rushton grumbled. If the price was so low that there was not enough profit, Rushton was very unpleasant about it, and whenever it happened that there was not only no profit but an actual loss, Rushton created such a terrible disturbance that Misery was nearly frightened to death and used to get on his bicycle and rush off to the nearest “job” and howl and bellow at the “chaps” to get it done.
If he made a mistake in quoting a “job” and offered too high a bid, resulting in the firm not getting the work, Rushton complained. If the price was so low that there wasn’t enough profit, Rushton was really unpleasant about it, and whenever it turned out that there was not only no profit but an actual loss, Rushton caused such an awful scene that Misery was almost scared to death and would hop on his bicycle to rush off to the nearest “job” and yell at the “guys” to finish it.
All the time the capabilities of the men—especially with regard to speed—were carefully watched and noted: and whenever there was a slackness of work and it was necessary to discharge some hands those that were slow or took too much pains were weeded out: this of course was known to the men and it had the desired effect upon them.
All the time, the abilities of the workers—especially in terms of speed—were closely monitored and recorded: whenever there was a drop in productivity and it was necessary to let some people go, those who were slow or put in too much effort were filtered out: this, of course, was known to the workers and it had the intended effect on them.
In justice to Rushton and Hunter, it must be remembered that there was a certain amount of excuse for all this driving and cheating, because they had to compete with all the other firms, who conducted their business in precisely the same way. It was not their fault, but the fault of the system.
In fairness to Rushton and Hunter, it’s important to remember that there was some justification for all the aggressive tactics and dishonesty, as they had to compete with all the other companies that operated in exactly the same manner. It wasn't their fault, but rather a flaw in the system.
A dozen firms tendered for every “job”, and of course the lowest tender usually obtained the work. Knowing this, they all cut the price down to the lowest possible figure and the workmen had to suffer.
A dozen companies bid for every "job," and naturally, the lowest bid usually got the work. Knowing this, they all lowered their prices to the bare minimum, and the workers had to pay the price.
The trouble was that there were too many “masters”. It would have been far better for the workmen if nine out of every ten of the employers had never started business. Then the others would have been able to get a better price for their work, and the men might have had better wages and conditions. The hands, however, made no such allowances or excuses as these for Misery and Rushton. They never thought or spoke of them except with hatred and curses. But whenever either of them came to the “job” the “coddies” cringed and grovelled before them, greeting them with disgustingly servile salutations, plentifully interspersed with the word “Sir”, greetings which were frequently either ignored altogether or answered with an inarticulate grunt. They said “Sir” at nearly every second word: it made one feel sick to hear them because it was not courtesy: they were never courteous to each other, it was simply abject servility and self-contempt.
The problem was that there were too many “masters.” It would have been much better for the workers if nine out of ten employers had never started their businesses. Then the others could have offered a better price for their work, and the men might have had better wages and working conditions. However, the workers didn't make any allowances or excuses for Misery and Rushton. They never thought or spoke of them except with hatred and curses. But whenever either of them showed up at the “job,” the “coddies” cringed and groveled before them, greeting them with disgustingly servile salutations, often heavily peppered with the word “Sir.” These greetings were usually either completely ignored or met with a grunt. They said “Sir” almost every other word; it was sickening to hear them because it wasn’t about courtesy. They were never courteous to each other; it was simply extreme servility and self-hatred.
One of the results of all the frenzied hurrying was that every now and then there was an accident: somebody got hurt: and it was strange that accidents were not more frequent, considering the risks that were taken. When they happened to be working on ladders in busy streets they were not often allowed to have anyone to stand at the foot, and the consequence was that all sorts and conditions of people came into violent collision with the bottoms of the ladders. Small boys playing in the reckless manner characteristic of their years rushed up against them. Errand boys, absorbed in the perusal of penny instalments of the adventures of Claude Duval, and carrying large baskets of green-groceries, wandered into them. Blind men fell foul of them. Adventurous schoolboys climbed up them. People with large feet became entangled in them. Fat persons of both sexes who thought it unlucky to walk underneath, tried to negotiate the narrow strip of pavement between the foot of the ladder and the kerb, and in their passage knocked up against the ladder and sometimes fell into the road. Nursemaids wheeling perambulators—lolling over the handle, which they usually held with their left hands, the right holding a copy of Orange Blossoms or some halfpenny paper, and so interested in the story of the Marquis of Lymejuice—a young man of noble presence and fabulous wealth, with a drooping golden moustache and very long legs, who, notwithstanding the diabolical machinations of Lady Sibyl Malvoise, who loves him as well as a woman with a name like that is capable of loving anyone, is determined to wed none other than the scullery-maid at the Village Inn—inevitably bashed the perambulators into the ladders. Even when the girls were not reading they nearly always ran into the ladders, which seemed to possess a magnetic attraction for perambulators and go-carts of all kinds, whether propelled by nurses or mothers. Sometimes they would advance very cautiously towards the ladder: then, when they got very near, hesitate a little whether to go under or run the risk of falling into the street by essaying the narrow passage: then they would get very close up to the foot of the ladder, and dodge and dance about, and give the cart little pushes from side to side, until at last the magnetic influence exerted itself and the perambulator crashed into the ladder, perhaps at the very moment that the man at the top was stretching out to do some part of the work almost beyond his reach.
One of the results of all the frantic rushing was that sometimes there were accidents: someone got hurt, and it was surprising that accidents weren’t more common, considering the risks involved. When they were working on ladders in busy streets, they often didn't have anyone to stand at the bottom, which meant all sorts of people ended up colliding violently with the feet of the ladders. Little boys, playing in their typical reckless way, would run into them. Delivery boys, lost in reading cheap installments of the adventures of Claude Duval while carrying big baskets of groceries, would wander right into them. Blind men tripped over them. Daring schoolboys climbed up them. People with large feet got tangled in them. Overweight individuals of both genders, thinking it was bad luck to walk under the ladders, attempted to navigate the narrow strip of pavement between the bottom of the ladder and the curb, often bumping into the ladder and sometimes falling into the road. Nannies pushing strollers—slouching over the handle usually held with their left hands, while their right clutched a copy of Orange Blossoms or some cheap paper, engrossed in the story of the Marquis of Lymejuice—a dashing young man with a golden mustache and very long legs, who, despite the devious schemes of Lady Sibyl Malvoise (who loves him as much as a woman with a name like that is capable of loving anyone), is determined to marry no one other than the scullery maid at the Village Inn—would inevitably crash the strollers into the ladders. Even when the girls weren’t reading, they frequently ran into the ladders, which seemed to have a magnetic pull on strollers and go-carts of all kinds, whether pushed by nannies or moms. Sometimes they would approach the ladder very cautiously, hesitating a bit to decide whether to go underneath or risk falling into the street by trying to squeeze through the tight space. Then they’d get really close to the foot of the ladder, dodging and dancing around, giving the cart little pushes from side to side until the magnetic force took over, and the stroller would slam into the ladder, perhaps just as the worker at the top was reaching out to do some part of the job nearly out of his reach.
Once Harlow had just started painting some rainpipes from the top of a 40-ft ladder when one of several small boys who were playing in the street ran violently against the foot. Harlow was so startled that he dropped his brushes and clutched wildly at the ladder, which turned completely round and slid about six feet along the parapet into the angle of the wall, with Harlow hanging beneath by his hands. The paint pot was hanging by a hook from one of the rungs, and the jerk scattered the brown paint it contained all over Harlow and all over the brickwork of the front of the house. He managed to descend safely by clasping his legs round the sides of the ladder and sliding down. When Misery came there was a row about what he called carelessness. And the next day Harlow had to wear his Sunday trousers to work.
Once Harlow had just started painting some rainpipes from the top of a 40-foot ladder when one of the little boys playing in the street crashed into the base of it. Harlow was so startled that he dropped his brushes and grabbed frantically at the ladder, which completely flipped around and slid about six feet along the parapet into the corner of the wall, with Harlow hanging on underneath by his hands. The paint can was hanging by a hook from one of the rungs, and the sudden movement splattered the brown paint all over Harlow and the brickwork of the front of the house. He managed to get down safely by wrapping his legs around the sides of the ladder and sliding down. When Misery showed up, there was a big fuss about what he called carelessness. And the next day, Harlow had to wear his Sunday trousers to work.
On another occasion they were painting the outside of a house called “Gothic Lodge”. At one corner it had a tower surmounted by a spire or steeple, and this steeple terminated with an ornamental wrought-iron pinnacle which had to be painted. The ladder they had was not quite long enough, and besides that, as it had to stand in a sort of a courtyard at the base of the tower, it was impossible to slant it sufficiently: instead of lying along the roof of the steeple, it was sticking up in the air.
On another occasion, they were painting the outside of a house called “Gothic Lodge.” At one corner, it had a tower topped with a spire or steeple, and this steeple ended with an ornate wrought-iron pinnacle that needed to be painted. The ladder they had wasn’t quite long enough, and since it had to stand in a kind of courtyard at the base of the tower, it was impossible to angle it properly: instead of resting against the roof of the steeple, it was sticking straight up into the air.
When Easton went up to paint the pinnacle he had to stand on almost the very top rung of the ladder, to be exact, the third from the top, and lean over to steady himself by holding on to the pinnacle with his left hand while he used the brush with his right. As it was only about twenty minutes’ work there were two men to hold the foot of the ladder.
When Easton went up to paint the top, he had to stand on almost the highest rung of the ladder, to be precise, the third from the top. He leaned over to steady himself by gripping the pinnacle with his left hand while using the brush with his right. Since it was only about twenty minutes of work, there were two guys holding the base of the ladder.
It was cheaper to do it this way than to rig up a proper scaffold, which would have entailed perhaps two hours’ work for two or three men. Of course it was very dangerous, but that did not matter at all, because even if the man fell it would make no difference to the firm—all the men were insured and somehow or other, although they frequently had narrow escapes, they did not often come to grief.
It was cheaper to do it this way than to set up a proper scaffold, which would have taken maybe two hours of work for two or three guys. Sure, it was super dangerous, but that didn’t matter at all, because even if someone fell, it wouldn’t make a difference to the company—everyone was insured, and somehow, even though they often had close calls, they usually didn’t get hurt.
On this occasion, just as Easton was finishing he felt the pinnacle that he was holding on to give way, and he got such a fright that his heart nearly stopped beating. He let go his hold and steadied himself on the ladder as well as he was able, and when he had descended three or four steps—into comparative safety—he remained clinging convulsively to the ladder and feeling so limp that he was unable to go down any further for several minutes. When he arrived at the bottom and the others noticed how white and trembling he was, he told them about the pinnacle being loose, and the “coddy” coming along just then, they told him about it, and suggested that it should be repaired, as otherwise it might fall down and hurt someone: but the “coddy” was afraid that if they reported it they might be blamed for breaking it, and the owner might expect the firm to put it right for nothing, so they decided to say nothing about it. The pinnacle is still on the apex of the steeple waiting for a sufficiently strong wind to blow it down on somebody’s head.
On this occasion, just as Easton was finishing up, he felt the pinnacle he was holding onto start to give way, and it scared him so much that his heart nearly stopped. He let go and tried to steady himself on the ladder as best as he could, and when he had descended three or four steps—into relative safety—he clung tightly to the ladder, feeling so weak that he couldn't go down any further for several minutes. When he reached the bottom and the others saw how pale and shaky he was, he told them about the loose pinnacle and the “coddy” coming by at that moment. They suggested it should be fixed, as it might fall and hurt someone; however, the “coddy” was worried that if they reported it, they might get blamed for breaking it, and the owner might expect the company to fix it for free. So, they decided to stay quiet about it. The pinnacle is still sitting on top of the steeple, just waiting for a strong enough wind to knock it down on someone’s head.
When the other men heard of Easton’s “narrow shave”, most of them said that it would have served him bloody well right if he had fallen and broken his neck: he should have refused to go up at all without a proper scaffold. That was what THEY would have done. If Misery or the coddy had ordered any of THEM to go up and paint the pinnacle off that ladder, they would have chucked their tools down and demanded their ha’pence!
When the other guys heard about Easton’s “narrow escape,” most of them said it would’ve served him right if he had fallen and broken his neck: he should’ve refused to go up at all without a proper scaffold. That’s what THEY would’ve done. If Misery or the boss had told any of THEM to go up and paint the top of that ladder, they would’ve thrown their tools down and demanded their pay!
That was what they said, but somehow or other it never happened that any of them ever “chucked their tools down” at all, although such dangerous jobs were of very frequent occurrence.
That’s what they said, but somehow it never actually happened that any of them ever “threw their tools down” at all, even though those risky jobs happened quite often.
The scamping business was not confined to houses or properties of an inferior class: it was the general rule. Large good-class houses, villas and mansions, the residences of wealthy people, were done in exactly the same way. Generally in such places costly and beautiful materials were spoilt in the using.
The scam business wasn't limited to lower-class houses or properties; it was the norm. Large, high-quality homes, villas, and mansions—the residences of wealthy individuals—were handled in the exact same manner. Typically, in these places, expensive and beautiful materials were wasted in the process.
There was a large mansion where the interior woodwork—the doors, windows and staircase—had to be finished in white enamel. It was rather an old house and the woodwork needed rubbing down and filling up before being repainted, but of course there was not time for that, so they painted it without properly preparing it and when it was enamelled the rough, uneven surface of the wood looked horrible: but the owner appeared quite satisfied because it was nice and shiny. The dining-room of the same house was papered with a beautiful and expensive plush paper. The ground of this wall-hanging was made to imitate crimson watered silk, and it was covered with a raised pattern in plush of the same colour. The price marked on the back of this paper in the pattern book was eighteen shillings a roll. Slyme was paid sixpence a roll for hanging it: the room took ten rolls, so it cost nine pounds for the paper and five shillings to hang it! To fix such a paper as this properly the walls should first be done with a plain lining paper of the same colour as the ground of the wallpaper itself, because unless the paperhanger “lapps” the joints—which should not be done—they are apt to open a little as the paper dries and to show the white wall underneath—Slyme suggested this lining to Misery, who would not entertain the idea for a moment—they had gone to quite enough expense as it was, stripping the old paper off!
There was a big mansion where the woodwork on the doors, windows, and staircase had to be finished in white enamel. It was quite an old house, and the woodwork needed sanding and filling before being repainted, but of course there wasn't time for that, so they painted it without proper preparation. When it was enamelled, the rough, uneven surface of the wood looked terrible, but the owner seemed satisfied because it was nice and shiny. The dining room in the same house was decorated with a beautiful and expensive plush wallpaper. The background of this wall covering was designed to look like crimson watered silk, and it was covered with a raised plush pattern in the same color. The price listed on the back of this paper in the pattern book was eighteen shillings a roll. Slyme was paid sixpence per roll for hanging it: the room required ten rolls, costing nine pounds for the paper and five shillings for the hanging! To install this kind of wallpaper properly, the walls should first be covered with a plain lining paper in the same color as the wallpaper itself because unless the paperhanger overlaps the joints—which shouldn't be done—they might open a bit as the paper dries and reveal the white wall underneath. Slyme suggested using this lining to Misery, who wouldn’t consider it for a second—they had already spent enough as it was, stripping off the old paper!
So Slyme went ahead, and as he had to make his wages, he could not spend a great deal of time over it. Some of the joints were “lapped” and some were butted, and two or three weeks after the owner of the house moved in, as the paper became more dry, the joints began to open and to show the white plaster of the wall, and then Owen had to go there with a small pot of crimson paint and a little brush, and touch out the white line.
So Slyme proceeded, and since he needed to earn his pay, he couldn’t spend too much time on it. Some of the joints were “lapped” and some were butted, and a couple of weeks after the homeowner moved in, as the wallpaper dried out, the joints started to open up and reveal the white plaster of the wall. Then Owen had to go there with a small pot of crimson paint and a tiny brush to touch up the white line.
While he was doing this he noticed and touched up a number of other faults; places where Slyme—in his haste to get the work done—had slobbered and smeared the face of the paper with fingermarks and paste.
While he was doing this, he noticed and fixed several other mistakes: spots where Slyme—eager to finish the job—had left smudges and fingerprints on the paper with glue.
The same ghastly mess was made of several other “jobs” besides this one, and presently they adopted the plan of painting strips of colour on the wall in the places where the joints would come, so that if they opened the white wall would not show: but it was found that the paste on the back of the paper dragged the paint off the wall, and when the joints opened the white streaks showed all the same, so Misery abandoned all attempts to prevent joints showing, and if a customer complained, he sent someone to “touch it up”: but the lining paper was never used, unless the customer or the architect knew enough about the work to insist upon it.
The same messy situation happened with several other “jobs” besides this one, and soon they decided to paint strips of color on the wall where the joints would be, so that when they opened it, the white wall wouldn’t be visible. However, they found that the paste on the back of the paper pulled the paint off the wall, and when the joints opened, the white streaks showed anyway. So, Misery gave up on trying to hide the joints, and if a customer complained, he would send someone to “fix it up.” But the lining paper was hardly ever used unless the customer or architect knew enough about the work to insist on it.
In other parts of the same house the ceilings, the friezes, and the dados, were covered with “embossed” or “relief” papers. These hangings require very careful handling, for the raised parts are easily damaged; but the men who fixed them were not allowed to take the pains and time necessary to make good work: consequently in many places—especially at the joints—the pattern was flattened out and obliterated.
In other areas of the same house, the ceilings, friezes, and dados were decorated with "embossed" or "relief" papers. These hangings need to be handled very carefully because the raised parts can be easily damaged. However, the workers who installed them weren't given the time and attention needed to do a proper job; as a result, in many spots—especially at the seams—the pattern became flattened and faded.
The ceiling of the drawing-room was done with a very thick high-relief paper that was made in sheets about two feet square. These squares were not very true in shape: they had evidently warped in drying after manufacture: to make them match anything like properly would need considerable time and care. But the men were not allowed to take the necessary time. The result was that when it was finished it presented a sort of “higgledy-piggledy” appearance. But it didn’t matter: nothing seemed to matter except to get it done. One would think from the way the hands were driven and chivvied and hurried over the work that they were being paid five or six shillings an hour instead of as many pence.
The ceiling of the living room was covered with a thick high-relief paper made in sheets about two feet square. These squares weren't very uniform in shape; they had clearly warped while drying after production. Getting them to match properly would have taken significant time and effort. But the workers weren't allowed to take the necessary time. The result was that when it was done, it had a sort of chaotic appearance. But it didn't matter: nothing seemed to matter except getting it finished. One would think from the way the workers were rushed and pressured that they were being paid five or six shillings an hour instead of just a few pence.
“Get it done!” shouted Misery from morning till night. “For God’s sake get it done! Haven’t you finished yet? We’re losing money over this ‘job’! If you chaps don’t wake up and move a bit quicker, I shall see if I can’t get somebody else who will.”
“Get it done!” shouted Misery from morning to night. “For God’s sake, get it done! Haven’t you finished yet? We’re losing money over this ‘job’! If you guys don’t wake up and move a bit quicker, I’ll see if I can find someone else who will.”
These costly embossed decorations were usually finished in white; but instead of carefully coating them with specially prepared paint of patent distemper, which would need two or three coats, they slobbered one thick coat of common whitewash on to it with ordinary whitewash brushes.
These expensive embossed decorations were typically finished in white; however, instead of carefully applying specially prepared paint or patent distemper, which would require two or three coats, they just slathered on one thick layer of regular whitewash with standard whitewash brushes.
This was a most economical way to get over it, because it made it unnecessary to stop up the joints beforehand—the whitewash filled up all the cracks: and it also filled up the hollow parts, the crevices and interstices of the ornament, destroying the sharp outlines of the beautiful designs and reducing the whole to a lumpy, formless mass. But that did not matter either, so long as they got it done.
This was a really cost-effective way to handle it because it eliminated the need to seal the joints first—the whitewash filled in all the cracks and also covered the hollow areas, the crevices, and gaps in the decoration, blurring the clear outlines of the beautiful designs and turning everything into a lumpy, shapeless blob. But that didn’t matter, as long as they finished the job.
The architect didn’t notice it, because he knew that the more Rushton & Co. made out of the “job”, the more he himself would make.
The architect didn't notice it because he understood that the more Rushton & Co. profited from the "job," the more he would benefit too.
The man who had to pay for the work didn’t notice it; he had the fullest confidence in the architect.
The man who had to pay for the work didn’t see it; he fully trusted the architect.
At the risk of wearying the long-suffering reader, mention must be made of an affair that happened at this particular “job”.
At the risk of exhausting the patient reader, I need to mention an incident that took place at this specific "job."
The windows were all fitted with venetian blinds. The gentleman for whom all the work was being done had only just purchased the house, but he preferred roller blinds: he had had roller blinds in his former residence—which he had just sold—and as these roller blinds were about the right size, he decided to have them fitted to the windows of his new house: so he instructed Mr Rushton to have all the venetian blinds taken down and stored away up in the loft under the roof. Mr Rushton promised to have this done; but they were not ALL put away under the roof: he had four of them taken to his own place and fitted up in the conservatory. They were a little too large, so they had to be narrowed before they were fixed.
The windows all had venetian blinds. The man for whom all the work was being done had just bought the house, but he preferred roller blinds: he had roller blinds in his previous home—which he had just sold—and since these roller blinds were about the right size, he decided to have them installed in his new house. So, he told Mr. Rushton to take down all the venetian blinds and store them in the loft under the roof. Mr. Rushton said he would take care of it; however, not all of them got put away in the attic: he took four of them to his own place and installed them in the conservatory. They were a bit too large, so they had to be resized before they were hung up.
The sequel was rather interesting, for it happened that when the gentleman attempted to take the roller blinds from his old house, the person to whom he had sold it refused to allow them to be removed; claiming that when he bought the house, he bought the blinds also. There was a little dispute, but eventually it was settled that way and the gentleman decided that he would have the venetian blinds in his new house after all, and instructed the people who moved his furniture to take the venetians down again from under the roof, and refix them, and then, of course, it was discovered that four of the blinds were missing. Mr Rushton was sent for, and he said that he couldn’t understand it at all! The only possible explanation that he could think of was that some of his workmen must have stolen them! He would make inquiries, and endeavour to discover the culprits, but in any case, as this had happened while things were in his charge, if he did not succeed in recovering them, he would replace them.
The sequel was quite interesting because when the gentleman tried to take the roller blinds from his old house, the person he sold it to refused to let him remove them, claiming that when he bought the house, he also bought the blinds. There was a bit of a dispute, but in the end, it was settled that way, and the gentleman decided he would have the Venetian blinds in his new house after all. He instructed the movers to take down the blinds from the roof and reinstall them. Then, of course, it was discovered that four of the blinds were missing. Mr. Rushton was called, and he said he couldn’t understand it at all! The only explanation he could come up with was that some of his workers must have stolen them! He would look into it and try to find the people responsible, but in any case, since this happened while the items were in his care, if he couldn’t recover them, he would replace them.
As the blinds had been narrowed to fit the conservatory he had to have four new ones made.
As the blinds had been adjusted to fit the conservatory, he needed to have four new ones made.
The customer was of course quite satisfied, although very sorry for Mr Rushton. They had a little chat about it. Rushton told the gentleman that he would be astonished if he knew all the facts: the difficulties one has to contend with in dealing with working men: one has to watch them continually! directly one’s back is turned they leave off working! They come late in the morning, and go home before the proper time at night, and then unless one actually happens to catch them—they charge the full number of hours on their time sheets! Every now and then something would be missing, and of course Nobody knew anything about it. Sometimes one would go unexpectedly to a “job” and find a lot of them drunk. Of course one tried to cope with these evils by means of rules and restrictions and organization, but it was very difficult—one could not be everywhere or have eyes at the back of one’s head. The gentleman said that he had some idea of what it was like: he had had something to do with the lower orders himself at one time and another, and he knew they needed a lot of watching.
The customer was definitely satisfied, though he felt really sorry for Mr. Rushton. They had a brief chat about it. Rushton told the man that he would be amazed if he knew all the details: the challenges of dealing with working-class men; you have to keep an eye on them all the time! The moment you turn your back, they stop working! They show up late in the morning and leave early in the evening, and then unless you actually catch them, they claim the full number of hours on their timesheets! Every now and then, something would go missing, and of course nobody knew anything about it. Sometimes, you would drop by a "job" unexpectedly and find a bunch of them drunk. You try to manage these issues with rules, restrictions, and organization, but it's really tough—you can't be everywhere or have eyes in the back of your head. The gentleman said he had some idea of what it was like: he had dealt with the lower classes himself at different times, and he knew they required a lot of supervision.
Rushton felt rather sick over this affair, but he consoled himself by reflecting that he had got clear away with several valuable rose trees and other plants which he had stolen out of the garden, and that a ladder which had been discovered in the hayloft over the stable and taken—by his instructions—to the “yard” when the “job” was finished had not been missed.
Rushton felt pretty sick about this situation, but he comforted himself by thinking that he had managed to sneak away with several valuable rose bushes and other plants he had taken from the garden. He also thought about how a ladder that had been found in the hayloft over the stable and taken—to his instructions—to the “yard” when the “job” was done hadn't been noticed.
Another circumstance which helped to compensate for the blinds was that the brass fittings throughout the house, finger-plates, sash-lifts and locks, bolts and door handles, which were supposed to be all new and which the customer had paid a good price for—were really all the old ones which Misery had had re-lacquered and refixed.
Another factor that helped make up for the blinds was that the brass fixtures throughout the house—finger plates, sash lifts, locks, bolts, and door handles—were supposedly all new and the customer paid a good price for them. In reality, they were actually the old ones that Misery had re-lacquered and reattached.
There was nothing unusual about this affair of the blinds, for Rushton and Misery robbed everybody. They made a practice of annexing every thing they could lay their hands upon, provided it could be done without danger to themselves. They never did anything of a heroic or dare-devil character: they had not the courage to break into banks or jewellers’ shops in the middle of the night, or to go out picking pockets: all their robberies were of the sneak-thief order.
There was nothing unusual about this situation with the blinds, because Rushton and Misery robbed everyone. They made a habit of taking anything they could get their hands on, as long as it didn't put them in danger. They never did anything brave or reckless; they didn't have the guts to break into banks or jewelry stores at night, or to go pickpocketing. All their thefts were the sneaky kind.
At one house that they “did up” Misery made a big haul. He had to get up into the loft under the roof to see what was the matter with the water tank. When he got up there he found a very fine hall gas lamp made of wrought brass and copper with stained and painted glass sides. Although covered with dust, it was otherwise in perfect condition, so Misery had it taken to his own house and cleaned up and fixed in the hall.
At one house they renovated, Misery scored big. He had to climb up into the attic to check on the water tank. When he got up there, he discovered a beautiful hall gas lamp made of wrought brass and copper, with stained and painted glass panels. Even though it was covered in dust, it was otherwise in perfect condition, so Misery had it taken to his own house, cleaned up, and installed in the hall.
In the same loft there were a lot of old brass picture rods and other fittings, and three very good planks, each about ten feet in length; these latter had been placed across the rafters so that one could walk easily and safely over to the tank. But Misery thought they would be very useful to the firm for whitewashing ceilings and other work, so he had them taken to the yard along with the old brass, which was worth about fourpence a pound.
In the same loft, there were several old brass picture rods and other fittings, along with three really good planks, each around ten feet long. These planks had been laid across the rafters so that you could walk easily and safely over to the tank. But Misery thought they would be very useful for the company for whitewashing ceilings and other tasks, so he had them taken to the yard along with the old brass, which was worth about four pence a pound.
There was another house that had to be painted inside: the people who used to live there had only just left: they had moved to some other town, and the house had been re-let before they vacated it. The new tenant had agreed with the agent that the house was to be renovated throughout before he took possession.
There was another house that needed to be painted inside: the previous occupants had just moved out; they had relocated to another town, and the house had been rented out again before they officially left. The new tenant had arranged with the agent for the house to be renovated completely before he moved in.
The day after the old tenants moved away, the agent gave Rushton the key so that he could go to see what was to be done and give an estimate for the work.
The day after the previous tenants moved out, the agent handed Rushton the key so he could check out what needed to be done and provide an estimate for the work.
While Rushton and Misery were looking over the house they discovered a large barometer hanging on the wall behind the front door: it had been overlooked by those who removed the furniture. Before returning the key to the agent, Rushton sent one of his men to the house for the barometer, which he kept in his office for a few weeks to see if there would be any inquiries about it. If there had been, it would have been easy to say that he had brought it there for safety—to take care of till he could find the owner. The people to whom it belonged thought the thing had been lost or stolen in transit, and afterwards one of the workmen who had assisted to pack and remove the furniture was dismissed from his employment on suspicion of having had something to do with its disappearance. No one ever thought of Rushton in connection with the matter, so after about a month he had it taken to his own dwelling and hung up in the hall near the carved oak marble-topped console table that he had sneaked last summer from 596 Grand Parade.
While Rushton and Misery were checking out the house, they found a big barometer hanging on the wall behind the front door. It had been missed by the people who took the furniture away. Before returning the key to the agent, Rushton sent one of his guys to grab the barometer, which he kept in his office for a few weeks to see if anyone would ask about it. If someone did, he could just say he took it there for safekeeping until he could find the owner. The original owners thought it was lost or stolen during the move, and later, one of the workers who helped pack and move the furniture was fired because they suspected he might have been involved in its disappearance. No one ever connected Rushton to the situation, so after about a month, he had it moved to his own place and hung it up in the hall next to the carved oak marble-topped console table that he had snuck out last summer from 596 Grand Parade.
And there it hangs unto this day: and close behind it, supported by cords of crimson silk, is a beautiful bevelled-edged card about a foot square, and upon this card is written, in letters of gold: “Christ is the head of this house; the unseen Guest at every meal, the silent Listener to every conversation.”
And there it hangs to this day: and right behind it, held up by crimson silk cords, is a beautiful card with beveled edges, about a foot square, and on this card it says, in gold letters: “Christ is the head of this house; the unseen Guest at every meal, the silent Listener to every conversation.”
And on the other side of the barometer is another card of the same kind and size which says: “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.”
And on the other side of the barometer is another card of the same kind and size that says: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
From another place they stole two large brass chandeliers. This house had been empty for a very long time, and its owner—who did not reside in the town—wished to sell it. The agent, to improve the chances of a sale, decided to have the house overhauled and redecorated. Rushton & Co.’s tender being the lowest, they got the work. The chandeliers in the drawing-room and the dining-room were of massive brass, but they were all blackened and tarnished. Misery suggested to the agent that they could be cleaned and relacquered, which would make them equal to new: in fact, they would be better than new ones, for such things as these were not made now, and for once Misery was telling the truth. The agent agreed and the work was done: it was an extra, of course, and as the firm got twice as much for the job as they paid for having it done, they were almost satisfied.
From another place, they stole two large brass chandeliers. This house had been empty for a very long time, and its owner—who didn’t live in town—wanted to sell it. To improve the chances of a sale, the agent decided to renovate and redecorate the house. Since Rushton & Co.’s bid was the lowest, they got the job. The chandeliers in the living room and dining room were massive brass pieces, but they were all blackened and tarnished. Misery suggested to the agent that they could be cleaned and relacquered, which would make them look like new. In fact, they would be better than new ones because things like this aren’t made anymore, and for once, Misery was telling the truth. The agent agreed, and the work was done: it was an extra cost, of course, and since the firm charged twice as much for the job as they paid to have it done, they were almost satisfied.
When this and all the other work was finished they sent in their account and were paid.
When this and all the other work was done, they submitted their invoice and got paid.
Some months afterwards the house was sold, and Nimrod interviewed the new proprietor with the object of securing the order for any work that he might want done. He was successful. The papers on the walls of several of the rooms were not to the new owner’s taste, and, of course, the woodwork would have to be re-painted to harmonize with the new paper. There was a lot of other work besides this: a new conservatory to build, a more modern bath and heating apparatus to be put in, and the electric light to be installed, the new people having an objection to the use of gas.
Some months later, the house was sold, and Nimrod met with the new owner to secure any work he might need done. He was successful. The wallpaper in several rooms wasn't to the new owner's liking, and the woodwork would need to be repainted to match the new paper. There was a lot more work to do as well: building a new conservatory, installing a more modern bathroom and heating system, and setting up electric lighting, as the new owners preferred not to use gas.
The specifications were prepared by an architect, and Rushton secured the work. When the chandeliers were taken down, the men, instructed by Misery, put them on a handcart, and covered them over with sacks and dust-sheets and took them to the front shop, where they were placed for sale with the other stock.
The specifications were created by an architect, and Rushton got the job. When the chandeliers were taken down, the workers, directed by Misery, loaded them onto a handcart, covered them with sacks and dust sheets, and took them to the front shop, where they were displayed for sale alongside the other inventory.
When all the work at the house was finished, it occurred to Rushton and Nimrod that when the architect came to examine and pass the work before giving them the certificate that would enable them to present their account, he might remember the chandeliers and inquire what had become of them. So they were again placed on the handcart, covered with sacks and dust-sheets, taken back to the house and put up in the loft under the roof so that, if he asked for them, there they were.
When all the work at the house was done, Rushton and Nimrod realized that when the architect came to check and approve the work before giving them the certificate that would allow them to submit their bill, he might recall the chandeliers and ask what happened to them. So they put them back on the handcart, covered them with sacks and dust-sheets, took them back to the house, and stored them in the loft under the roof so that if he asked for them, they would be right there.
The architect came, looked ever the house, passed the work, and gave his certificate; he never mentioned or thought of the chandeliers. The owner of the house was present and asked for Rushton’s bill, for which he at once gave them a cheque and Rushton and Misery almost grovelled and wallowed on the ground before him. Throughout the whole interview the architect and the “gentleman” had kept their hats on, but Rushton and Nimrod had been respectfully uncovered all the time, and as they followed the other two about the house their bearing had been expressive of the most abject servility.
The architect arrived, looked over the house, approved the work, and issued his certificate; he never mentioned or considered the chandeliers. The homeowner was present and asked for Rushton’s bill, for which he immediately wrote a check, and Rushton and Misery nearly prostrated themselves before him. Throughout the entire meeting, the architect and the “gentleman” kept their hats on, while Rushton and Nimrod remained respectfully bareheaded the whole time. As they followed the other two around the house, their demeanor conveyed the utmost servility.
When the architect and the owner were gone the two chandeliers were taken down again from under the roof, and put upon a handcart, covered over with sacks and dust-sheets and taken back to the shop and again placed for sale with the other stock.
When the architect and the owner left, the two chandeliers were taken down from the ceiling, placed on a handcart, covered with sacks and dust sheets, and returned to the shop to be put up for sale again with the other inventory.
These are only a few of the petty thefts committed by these people. To give anything approaching a full account of all the rest would require a separate volume.
These are just a few of the minor thefts committed by these individuals. Providing a complete account of all the others would need a separate volume.
As a result of all the hurrying and scamping, every now and again the men found that they had worked themselves out of a job.
As a result of all the rushing and scrambling, now and then the men found that they had worked themselves out of a job.
Several times during the summer the firm had scarcely anything to do, and nearly everybody had to stand off for a few days or weeks.
Several times during the summer, the company had almost no work, and nearly everyone had to take a few days or weeks off.
When Newman got his first start in the early part of the year he had only been working for about a fortnight when—with several others—he was “stood off”. Fortunately, however, the day after he left Rushtons, he was lucky enough to get a start for another firm, Driver and Botchit, where he worked for nearly a month, and then he was again given a job at Rushton’s, who happened to be busy again.
When Newman got his first job earlier this year, he had only been working for about two weeks when—along with several others—he was laid off. Luckily, the day after he left Rushtons, he was fortunate enough to land a position at another company, Driver and Botchit, where he worked for almost a month, and then he was offered a job at Rushton’s again, as they happened to be busy once more.
He did not have to lose much time, for he “finished up” for Driver and Botchit on a Thursday night and on the Friday he interviewed Misery, who told him they were about to commence a fresh “job” on the following Monday morning at six o’clock, and that he could start with them. So this time Newman was only out of work the Friday and Saturday, which was another stroke of luck, because it often happens that a man has to lose a week or more after “finishing up” for one firm before he gets another “job”.
He didn’t have to waste much time, since he wrapped things up for Driver and Botchit on a Thursday night, and on Friday he interviewed Misery. Misery told him they were starting a new “job” that coming Monday morning at six o’clock, and he could join them. So this time, Newman was only out of work on Friday and Saturday, which was another lucky break, because it’s common for someone to be out of work for a week or more after finishing with one company before finding another “job.”
All through the summer Crass continued to be the general “colour-man”, most of his time being spent at the shop mixing up colours for all the different “jobs”. He also acted as a sort of lieutenant to Hunter, who, as the reader has already been informed, was not a practical painter. When there was a price to be given for some painting work, Misery sometimes took Crass with him to look over it and help him to estimate the amount of time and material it would take. Crass was thus in a position of more than ordinary importance, not only being superior to the “hands”, but also ranking above the other sub-foremen who had charge of the “jobs”.
All summer long, Crass was the go-to guy for colors, spending most of his time at the shop mixing shades for all the different projects. He also acted as a sort of assistant to Hunter, who, as you already know, wasn’t an experienced painter. When it came to quoting prices for painting jobs, Misery sometimes took Crass along to assess the work and help estimate the time and materials needed. This put Crass in a position of above-average importance, as he was not only in charge of the workers but also ranked higher than the other sub-foremen overseeing the projects.
It was Crass and these sub-foremen who were to blame for most of the scamping and driving, because if it had not been for them neither Rushton nor Hunter would have known how to scheme the work.
It was Crass and those sub-foremen who were responsible for most of the shoddy work and pushing, because without them, neither Rushton nor Hunter would have known how to plan the job.
Of course, Hunter and Rushton wanted to drive and scamp, but not being practical men they would not have known how if it had not been for Crass and the others, who put them up to all the tricks of the trade.
Of course, Hunter and Rushton wanted to drive and mess around, but since they weren’t practical guys, they wouldn’t have had a clue how to do it if it weren’t for Crass and the others, who taught them all the tricks of the trade.
Crass knew that when the men stayed till half past seven they were in the habit of ceasing work for a few minutes to eat a mouthful of grub about six o’clock, so he suggested to Misery that as it was not possible to stop this, it would be a good plan to make the men stop work altogether from half past five till six, and lose half an hour’s pay; and to make up the time, instead of leaving off at seven-thirty, they could work till eight.
Crass realized that when the workers stayed until 7:30, they usually took a break around 6:00 to grab a quick bite to eat. So, he proposed to Misery that since it was impossible to avoid this break, it would be better to have the workers stop entirely from 5:30 to 6:00 and lose half an hour's pay. To make up for the lost time, instead of finishing at 7:30, they could work until 8:00.
Misery had known of and winked at the former practice, for he knew that the men could not work all that time without something to eat, but Crass’s suggestion seemed a much better way, and it was adopted.
Misery was aware of and acknowledged the old way, knowing that the men couldn't work for so long without food, but Crass’s idea seemed like a much better solution, and it was accepted.
When the other masters in Mugsborough heard of this great reform they all followed suit, and it became the rule in that town, whenever it was necessary to work overtime, for the men to stay till eight instead of half past seven as formerly, and they got no more pay than before.
When the other masters in Mugsborough heard about this big change, they all followed along, and it became the norm in that town. Whenever overtime was needed, the men stayed until eight instead of half past seven like before, and they didn’t receive any extra pay.
Previous to this summer it had been the almost invariable rule to have two men in each room that was being painted, but Crass pointed out to Misery that under such circumstances they wasted time talking to each other, and they also acted as a check on one another: each of them regulated the amount of work he did by the amount the other did, and if the “job” took too long it was always difficult to decide which of the two was to blame: but if they were made to work alone, each of them would be on his mettle; he would not know how much the others were doing, and the fear of being considered slow in comparison with others would make them all tear into it all they could.
Before this summer, it was almost always the case to have two guys in each room that was being painted. But Crass pointed out to Misery that in those situations, they ended up wasting time chatting with each other, and they also held each other back: each one would gauge how much work to do based on how much the other was doing. If the “job” took too long, it was always hard to figure out who was at fault. However, if they worked alone, each guy would be more motivated; he wouldn’t know how much the others were doing, and the fear of being seen as slow in comparison would push them all to work as hard as they could.
Misery thought this a very good idea, so the solitary system was introduced, and as far as practicable, one room, one man became the rule.
Misery thought this was a great idea, so the solitary system was put into place, and as much as possible, one room, one man became the standard.
They even tried to make the men distemper large ceilings single-handed, and succeeded in one or two cases, but after several ceilings had been spoilt and had to be washed off and done over again, they gave that up: but nearly all the other work was now arranged on the “solitary system”, and it worked splendidly: each man was constantly in a state of panic as to whether the others were doing more work than himself.
They even tried to have the men handle large ceilings on their own, and they managed to do it in one or two instances, but after several ceilings got ruined and had to be redone, they abandoned that approach. However, almost all the other work was now set up on the “solitary system,” and it worked really well: each man was always worried about whether the others were working harder than he was.
Another suggestion that Crass made to Misery was that the sub-foremen should be instructed never to send a man into a room to prepare it for painting.
Another suggestion that Crass made to Misery was that the sub-foremen should be told never to send a worker into a room to get it ready for painting.
“If you sends a man into a room to get it ready,” said Crass, “’e makes a meal of it! ’E spends as much time messin’ about rubbin’ down and stoppin’ up as it would take to paint it. But,” he added, with a cunning leer, “give ’em a bit of putty and a little bit of glass-paper, and the paint at the stand, and then ’e gits it in ’is mind as ’e’s going in there to paint it! And ’e doesn’t mess about much over the preparing of it”.
“If you send a guy into a room to get it ready,” said Crass, “he takes forever! He spends just as much time messing around sanding and filling as it would take to actually paint it. But,” he added, with a sly grin, “give him some putty and a bit of sandpaper, along with the paint at the stand, and then he thinks he’s going in there to paint it! And he doesn’t mess around much with the preparations.”
These and many other suggestions—all sorts of devices for scamping and getting over the work—were schemed out by Crass and the other sub-foremen, who put them into practice and showed them to Misery and Rushton in the hope of currying favour with them and being “kept on”. And between the lot of them they made life a veritable hell for themselves, and the hands, and everybody else around them. And the mainspring of it all was—the greed and selfishness of one man, who desired to accumulate money! For this was the only object of all the driving and bullying and hatred and cursing and unhappiness—to make money for Rushton, who evidently considered himself a deserving case.
These and many other ideas—all kinds of schemes to cut corners and get the job done—were developed by Crass and the other sub-foremen, who put them into action and showed them to Misery and Rushton in hopes of winning their favor and being kept on staff. Together, they created a real hell for themselves, the workers, and everyone else around them. And at the heart of it all was the greed and selfishness of one man, who wanted to pile up wealth! This was the sole reason behind all the pressure, bullying, hatred, cursing, and unhappiness—to make money for Rushton, who clearly thought he deserved it.
It is sad and discreditable, but nevertheless true, that some of the more selfish of the philanthropists often became weary of well-doing, and lost all enthusiasm in the good cause. At such times they used to say that they were “Bloody well fed up” with the whole business and “Tired of tearing their bloody guts out for the benefit of other people” and every now and then some of these fellows would “chuck up” work, and go on the booze, sometimes stopping away for two or three days or a week at a time. And then, when it was all over, they came back, very penitent, to ask for another “start”, but they generally found that their places had been filled.
It’s unfortunate and shameful, but it’s still true that some of the more self-centered philanthropists often got tired of doing good and lost all passion for the cause. During those times, they would say they were “bloody well fed up” with the whole thing and “tired of tearing their bloody guts out for the benefit of other people.” Every now and then, some of these guys would “chuck up” work and go on a bender, sometimes disappearing for two or three days or even a week. When it was all over, they’d come back, very sorry, to ask for another “start,” but they usually found that their positions had already been filled.
If they happened to be good “sloggers”—men who made a practice of “tearing their guts out” when they did work—they were usually forgiven, and after being admonished by Misery, permitted to resume work, with the understanding that if ever it occurred again they would get the “infernal”—which means the final and irrevocable—sack.
If they happened to be good "sloggers"—guys who really put their all into their work—they were generally forgiven. After a talk from Misery, they were allowed to get back to it, with the understanding that if it happened again, they would get the "infernal"—which means the final and irreversible—boot.
There was once a job at a shop that had been a high-class restaurant kept by a renowned Italian chef. It had been known as
There was once a job at a shop that had been a fancy restaurant run by a famous Italian chef. It was known as
“MACARONI’S ROYAL ITALIAN CAFE”
Situated on the Grand Parade, it was a favourite resort of the “Elite”, who frequented it for afternoon tea and coffee and for little suppers after the theatre.
Located on the Grand Parade, it was a popular spot for the "Elite," who often visited for afternoon tea and coffee and for light dinners after the theater.
It had plate-glass windows, resplendent with gilding, marble-topped tables with snow white covers, vases of flowers, and all the other appurtenances of glittering cut glass and silver. The obsequious waiters were in evening dress, the walls were covered with lofty plate-glass mirrors in carved and gilded frames, and at certain hours of the day and night an orchestra consisting of two violins and a harp discoursed selections of classic music.
It had large plate-glass windows, shining with gold accents, marble-topped tables with crisp white tablecloths, vases of flowers, and all the other accessories of sparkling cut glass and silver. The overly polite waiters were dressed in formal attire, the walls were lined with tall plate-glass mirrors in ornate, gold frames, and at certain times of the day and night, an orchestra made up of two violins and a harp played classic music.
But of late years the business had not been paying, and finally the proprietor went bankrupt and was sold out. The place was shut up for several months before the shop was let to a firm of dealers in fancy articles, and the other part was transformed into flats.
But in recent years, the business hadn't been profitable, and eventually the owner went bankrupt and was sold off. The place was closed for several months before the shop was rented out to a company selling fancy goods, and the other part was turned into apartments.
Rushton had the contract for the work. When the men went there to “do it up” they found the interior of the house in a state of indescribable filth: the ceilings discoloured with smoke and hung with cobwebs, the wallpapers smeared and black with grease, the handrails and the newel posts of the staircase were clammy with filth, and the edges of the doors near the handles were blackened with greasy dirt and finger-marks. The tops of the skirtings, the mouldings of the doors, the sashes of the windows and the corners of the floors were thick with the accumulated dust of years.
Rushton had the contract for the work. When the guys arrived to "fix it up," they found the inside of the house in an unspeakable mess: the ceilings were stained with smoke and covered in cobwebs, the wallpaper was smeared and grimy, the handrails and newel posts of the staircase were sticky with dirt, and the edges of the doors near the handles were smudged with greasy grime and fingerprints. The tops of the skirtings, the door moldings, the window sashes, and the corners of the floors were coated in years of built-up dust.
In one of the upper rooms which had evidently been used as a nursery or playroom for the children of the renowned chef, the wallpaper for about two feet above the skirting was blackened with grease and ornamented with childish drawings made with burnt sticks and blacklead pencils, the door being covered with similar artistic efforts, to say nothing of some rude attempts at carving, evidently executed with an axe or a hammer. But all this filth was nothing compared with the unspeakable condition of the kitchen and scullery, a detailed description of which would cause the blood of the reader to curdle, and each particular hair of his head to stand on end.
In one of the upstairs rooms that clearly had been used as a nursery or playroom for the children of the famous chef, the wallpaper about two feet above the baseboard was stained with grease and decorated with childish drawings made with burnt sticks and graphite pencils. The door was also covered with similar artistic efforts, not to mention some crude attempts at carving, clearly done with an axe or a hammer. But all this mess was nothing compared to the unimaginable state of the kitchen and scullery, a detailed description of which would make the reader’s blood run cold and every hair on their head stand on end.
Let it suffice to say that the walls, the ceiling, the floor, the paintwork, the gas-stove, the kitchen range, the dresser and everything else were uniformly absolutely and literally—black. And the black was composed of soot and grease.
Let’s just say that the walls, ceiling, floor, paint, gas stove, kitchen range, dresser, and everything else were all completely and literally—black. And the black was made up of soot and grease.
In front of the window there was a fixture—a kind of bench or table, deeply scored with marks of knives like a butcher’s block. The sill of the window was about six inches lower than the top of the table, so that between the glass of the lower sash of the window, which had evidently never been raised, and the back of the table, there was a long narrow cavity or trough, about six inches deep, four inches wide and as long as the width of the window, the sill forming the bottom of the cavity.
In front of the window was a fixture—a sort of bench or table, heavily marked with knife cuts like a butcher's block. The window sill was about six inches lower than the top of the table, creating a long narrow space or trough between the glass of the lower window sash, which clearly had never been raised, and the back of the table. This trough was about six inches deep, four inches wide, and as long as the width of the window, with the sill serving as the bottom of the trough.
This trough was filled with all manner of abominations: fragments of fat and decomposed meat, legs of rabbits and fowls, vegetable matter, broken knives and forks, and hair: and the glass of the window was caked with filth of the same description.
This trough was filled with all sorts of disgusting things: bits of fat and rotting meat, rabbit and bird legs, vegetable scraps, broken knives and forks, and hair; and the window glass was coated with the same kind of filth.
This job was the cause of the sacking of the Semi-drunk and another man named Bill Bates, who were sent into the kitchen to clean it down and prepare it for painting and distempering.
This job led to the firing of the Semi-drunk and another guy named Bill Bates, who were sent into the kitchen to clean it up and get it ready for painting and repainting.
They commenced to do it, but it made them feel so ill that they went out and had a pint each, and after that they made another start at it. But it was not long before they felt that it was imperatively necessary to have another drink. So they went over to the pub, and this time they had two pints each. Bill paid for the first two and then the Semi-drunk refused to return to work unless Bill would consent to have another pint with him before going back. When they had drunk the two pints, they decided—in order to save themselves the trouble and risk of coming away from the job—to take a couple of quarts back with them in two bottles, which the landlord of the pub lent them, charging twopence on each bottle, to be refunded when they were returned.
They started to do it, but it made them feel so sick that they went out and had a pint each. After that, they gave it another shot. But it wasn’t long before they felt they really needed another drink. So they headed over to the pub, and this time they had two pints each. Bill paid for the first two, and then the Semi-drunk refused to go back to work unless Bill agreed to have another pint with him first. After they finished the two pints, they decided—so they wouldn't have the hassle of leaving the job again—to take a couple of quarts back with them in two bottles, which the pub landlord lent them, charging two pence for each bottle, to be refunded when they were returned.
When they got back to the job they found the “coddy” in the kitchen, looking for them and he began to talk and grumble, but the Semi-drunk soon shut him up: he told him he could either have a drink out of one of the bottles or a punch in the bloody nose—whichever he liked! Or if he did not fancy either of these alternatives, he could go to hell!
When they returned to work, they found the "coddy" in the kitchen, looking for them. He started to talk and complain, but the semi-drunk quickly silenced him. He told him he could either have a drink from one of the bottles or a punch in the nose—his choice! Or if he didn’t want either option, he could go to hell!
As the “coddy” was a sensible man he took the beer and advised them to pull themselves together and try to get some work done before Misery came, which they promised to do.
As the “coddy” was a sensible guy, he took the beer and told them to get it together and try to get some work done before Misery arrived, which they agreed to do.
When the “coddy” was gone they made another attempt at the work. Misery came a little while afterwards and began shouting at them because he said he could not see what they had done. It looked as if they had been asleep all the morning: Here it was nearly ten o’clock, and as far as he could see, they had done Nothing!
When the “coddy” was gone, they tried again with the work. Misery showed up a little later and started yelling at them because he said he couldn’t tell what they had accomplished. It seemed like they had been asleep all morning: Here it was nearly ten o’clock, and as far as he could see, they had done nothing!
When he was gone they drank the rest of the beer and then they began to feel inclined to laugh. What did they care for Hunter or Rushton either? To hell with both of ’em! They left off scraping and scrubbing, and began throwing buckets of water over the dresser and the walls, laughing uproariously all the time.
When he left, they finished the rest of the beer and started feeling like laughing. What did they care about Hunter or Rushton? Forget both of them! They stopped cleaning and started throwing buckets of water over the dresser and the walls, laughing loudly the whole time.
“We’ll show the b—s how to wash down paintwork!” shouted the Semi-drunk, as he stood in the middle of the room and hurled a pailful of water over the door of the cupboard. “Bring us another bucket of water, Bill.”
“We’ll show those guys how to wash down paintwork!” shouted the semi-drunk, as he stood in the middle of the room and threw a bucket of water over the cupboard door. “Bring us another bucket of water, Bill.”
Bill was out in the scullery filling his pail under the tap, and laughing so much that he could scarcely stand. As soon as it was full he passed it to the Semi-drunk, who threw it bodily, pail and all, on to the bench in front of the window, smashing one of the panes of glass. The water poured off the table and all over the floor.
Bill was in the kitchen filling his bucket under the tap, laughing so hard he could barely stand. Once it was full, he handed it to the Semi-drunk, who threw it onto the bench in front of the window, shattering one of the panes of glass. Water spilled off the table and soaked the floor.
Bill brought the next pailful in and threw it at the kitchen door, splitting one of the panels from top to bottom, and then they threw about half a dozen more pailfuls over the dresser.
Bill brought in the next bucket and slammed it against the kitchen door, breaking one of the panels from top to bottom, and then they tossed about half a dozen more buckets over the dresser.
“We’ll show the b—rs how to clean paintwork,” they shouted, as they hurled the buckets at the walls and doors.
“We’ll show those idiots how to clean paintwork,” they shouted, as they threw the buckets at the walls and doors.
By this time the floor was deluged with water, which mingled with the filth and formed a sea of mud.
By this time, the floor was soaked with water, which mixed with the dirt and created a sea of mud.
They left the two taps running in the scullery and as the waste pipe of the sink was choked up with dirt, the sink filled up and overflowed like a miniature Niagara.
They left the two faucets running in the kitchen, and since the drainpipe for the sink was clogged with dirt, the sink filled up and overflowed like a tiny Niagara Falls.
The water ran out under the doors into the back-yard, and along the passage out to the front door. But Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk remained in the kitchen, smashing the pails at the walls and doors and the dresser, and cursing and laughing hysterically.
The water flowed out under the doors into the backyard and along the hallway to the front door. But Bill Bates and the semi-drunk stayed in the kitchen, slamming the buckets against the walls, doors, and the dresser, while cursing and laughing uncontrollably.
They had just filled the two buckets and were bringing them into the kitchen when they heard Hunter’s voice in the passage, shouting out inquiries as to where all that water came from. Then they heard him advancing towards them and they stood waiting for him with the pails in their hands, and directly he opened the door and put his head into the room they let fly the two pails at him. Unfortunately, they were too drunk and excited to aim straight. One pail struck the middle rail of the door and the other the wall by the side of it.
They had just filled the two buckets and were bringing them into the kitchen when they heard Hunter's voice in the hallway, shouting questions about where all that water came from. Then they heard him getting closer, so they stood there waiting for him with the buckets in their hands. As soon as he opened the door and stuck his head into the room, they threw the two buckets at him. Unfortunately, they were too drunk and excited to aim properly. One bucket hit the center of the door, and the other hit the wall next to it.
Misery hastily shut the door again and ran upstairs, and presently the “coddy” came down and called out to them from the passage.
Misery quickly closed the door again and ran upstairs, and soon the “coddy” came down and called out to them from the hallway.
They went out to see what he wanted, and he told them that Misery had gone to the office to get their wages ready: they were to make out their time sheets and go for their money at once. Misery had said that if they were not there in ten minutes he would have the pair of them locked up.
They went out to find out what he needed, and he told them that Misery had gone to the office to get their pay ready: they were to fill out their time sheets and go get their money right away. Misery had said that if they weren't there in ten minutes, he would have both of them locked up.
The Semi-drunk said that nothing would suit them better than to have all their pieces at once—they had spent all their money and wanted another drink. Bill Bates concurred, so they borrowed a piece of blacklead pencil from the “coddy” and made out their time sheets, took off their aprons, put them into their tool bags, and went to the office for their money, which Misery passed out to them through the trap-door.
The semi-drunk said that nothing would be better for them than to have all their stuff at once—they had spent all their money and wanted another drink. Bill Bates agreed, so they borrowed a piece of pencil from the “coddy” and filled out their time sheets, took off their aprons, put them into their tool bags, and went to the office for their pay, which Misery handed out to them through the trap-door.
The news of this exploit spread all over the town during that day and evening, and although it was in July, the next morning at six o’clock there were half a dozen men waiting at the yard to ask Misery if there was “any chance of a job”.
The news of this feat spread throughout the town that day and evening, and even though it was July, the next morning at six o'clock, there were a handful of men waiting in the yard to ask Misery if there was "any chance of a job."
Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk had had their spree and had got the sack for it and most of the chaps said it served them right. Such conduct as that was going too far.
Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk had their fun and got fired for it, and most of the guys said they deserved it. That kind of behavior was just too much.
Most of them would have said the same thing no matter what the circumstances might have been. They had very little sympathy for each other at any time.
Most of them would have said the same thing regardless of the situation. They had very little sympathy for each other at any time.
Often, when, for instance, one man was sent away from one “job” to another, the others would go into his room and look at the work he had been doing, and pick out all the faults they could find and show them to each other, making all sorts of ill-natured remarks about the absent one meanwhile. “Jist run yer nose over that door, Jim,” one would say in a tone of disgust. “Wotcher think of it? Did yer ever see sich a mess in yer life? Calls hisself a painter!” And the other man would shake his head sadly and say that although the one who had done it had never been up to much as a workman, he could do it a bit better than that if he liked, but the fact was that he never gave himself time to do anything properly: he was always tearing his bloody guts out! Why, he’d only been in this room about four hours from start to finish! He ought to have a watering cart to follow him about, because he worked at such a hell of a rate you couldn’t see him for dust! And then the first man would reply that other people could do as they liked, but for his part, HE was not going to tear his guts out for nobody!
Often, when one guy was sent from one "job" to another, the others would go into his space and check out the work he’d been doing, pointing out all the mistakes they could find and showing them to each other while making all kinds of nasty comments about the guy who was gone. “Just take a look at that door, Jim,” one would say in a disgusted tone. “What do you think? Have you ever seen such a mess in your life? Calls himself a painter!” And the other guy would shake his head sadly and say that even though the one who did it had never been that great as a worker, he could do it a bit better than that if he wanted to, but the truth was he never took the time to do anything right: he was always working himself to the bone! I mean, he’d only been in that room about four hours from start to finish! He should have a watering cart following him around because he worked so fast you couldn’t even see him for dust! Then the first guy would respond that other people could do whatever they wanted, but as for him, HE wasn’t going to kill himself for anyone!
The second man would applaud these sentiments and say that he wasn’t going to tear his out either: and then they would both go back to their respective rooms and tear into the work for all they were worth, making the same sort of “job” as the one they had been criticizing, and afterwards, when the other’s back was turned, each of them in turn would sneak into the other’s room and criticize it and point out the faults to anyone else who happened to be near at hand.
The second guy agreed with this viewpoint and said he wasn't going to rip his apart either. Then they would both head back to their own rooms and dive into the work as hard as they could, creating the same kind of “job” they had been criticizing. Later, when the other wasn't watching, each would sneak into the other's room, criticize it, and point out the flaws to anyone nearby.
Harlow was working at the place that had been Macaroni’s Cafe when one day a note was sent to him from Hunter at the shop. It was written on a scrap of wallpaper, and worded in the usual manner of such notes—as if the writer had studied how to avoid all suspicion of being unduly civil:
Harlow was working at what used to be Macaroni’s Cafe when one day he received a note from Hunter at the shop. It was scrawled on a piece of wallpaper and phrased in the typical style of such notes—as if the writer had learned how to avoid raising any suspicion of being overly polite:
Harlow go to the yard at once take your tools with you.
Crass will tell you where you have to go.
J.H.
Harlow, go to the yard right away and take your tools with you.
Crass will let you know where you need to go.
J.H.
They were just finishing their dinners when the boy brought this note; and after reading it aloud for the benefit of the others, Harlow remarked that it was worded in much the same way in which one would speak to a dog. The others said nothing; but after he was gone the other men—who all considered that it was ridiculous for the “likes of us” to expect or wish to be treated with common civility—laughed about it, and said that Harlow was beginning to think he was Somebody: they supposed it was through readin’ all those books what Owen was always lendin’ ’im. And then one of them got a piece of paper and wrote a note to be given to Harlow at the first opportunity. This note was properly worded, written in a manner suitable for a gentleman like him, neatly folded and addressed:
They were just finishing their dinners when the boy brought this note; and after reading it aloud for everyone else, Harlow commented that it sounded a lot like how you’d talk to a dog. The others didn’t say anything, but after he left, the other men—who all thought it was silly for “people like us” to expect or want to be treated with any basic respect—laughed about it, saying that Harlow was starting to think he was important: they figured it was because of all those books Owen was always lending him. Then one of them grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note to be given to Harlow at the first chance. This note was properly worded, written in a way suitable for a gentleman like him, neatly folded and addressed:
Mr Harlow Esq.,
c/o Macaroni’s Royal Cafe
till called for.
Mr. Harlow Esq.,
c/o Macaroni’s Royal Cafe
until called for.
Mister Harlow,
Mr. Harlow,
Dear Sir: Wood you kinely oblige me bi cummin to the paint shop as soon as you can make it convenient as there is a sealin’ to be wite-woshed hoppin this is not trubbling you to much
Dear Sir: Would you kindly oblige me by coming to the paint shop as soon as you can make it convenient, as there is a ceiling to be whitewashed? Hoping this is not troubling you too much.
I remane
Yours respeckfully
Pontius Pilate.
I remain
Yours respectfully
Pontius Pilate.
This note was read out for the amusement of the company and afterwards stored away in the writer’s pocket till such a time as an opportunity should occur of giving it to Harlow.
This note was read aloud for the entertainment of the group and then kept in the writer’s pocket until there was a chance to give it to Harlow.
As the writer of the note was on his way back to his room to resume work he was accosted by a man who had gone into Harlow’s room to criticize it, and had succeeded in finding several faults which he pointed out to the other, and of course they were both very much disgusted with Harlow.
As the note's writer was heading back to his room to get back to work, he was approached by a man who had entered Harlow’s room to critique it. He managed to find several issues, which he pointed out to the writer, and naturally, they were both really disappointed with Harlow.
“I can’t think why the coddy keeps him on the job,” said the first man. “Between you and me, if I had charge of a job, and Misery sent Harlow there—I’d send ’im back to the shop.”
“I can’t understand why the boss keeps him on the job,” said the first man. “Honestly, if I were in charge and Misery sent Harlow there—I’d send him back to the shop.”
“Same as you,” agreed the other as he went back to tear into his own room. “Same as you, old man: I shouldn’t ’ave ’im neither.”
“Just like you,” the other agreed as he headed back to his own room. “Just like you, man: I shouldn’t have him either.”
It must not be supposed from this that either of these two men were on exceptionally bad terms with Harlow; they were just as good friends with him—to his face—as they were with each other—to each other’s faces—and it was just their way: that was all.
It shouldn't be assumed from this that either of these two men had a particularly bad relationship with Harlow; they were just as good friends with him—to his face—as they were with each other—to each other's faces—and that was simply their way: that was all.
If it had been one or both of these two who had gone away instead of Harlow, just the same things would have been said about them by the others who remained—it was merely their usual way of speaking about each other behind each other’s backs.
If it had been one or both of these two who had left instead of Harlow, the same things would have been said about them by the others who stayed—it was just their typical way of talking about each other when they weren't around.
It was always the same: if any one of them made a mistake or had an accident or got into any trouble he seldom or never got any sympathy from his fellow workmen. On the contrary, most of them at such times seemed rather pleased than otherwise.
It was always the same: if any one of them messed up, had an accident, or got into trouble, he rarely, if ever, received any sympathy from his coworkers. Instead, most of them seemed more pleased than concerned at such times.
There was a poor devil—a stranger in the town; he came from London—who got the sack for breaking some glass. He had been sent to “burn off” some old paint of the woodwork of a window. He was not very skilful in the use of the burning-off lamp, because on the firm when he had been working in London it was a job that the ordinary hands were seldom or never called upon to do. There were one or two men who did it all. For that matter, not many of Rushton’s men were very skilful at it either. It was a job everybody tried to get out of, because nearly always the lamp went wrong and there was a row about the time the work took. So they worked this job on to the stranger.
There was a poor guy—a newcomer in town; he came from London—who got fired for breaking some glass. He had been sent to "burn off" some old paint from the woodwork of a window. He wasn't very skilled in using the burning-off lamp, because back in London, when he was working, it was a task that the regular workers were rarely called to do. Only a couple of guys handled it. To be honest, not many of Rushton's workers were very good at it either. It was a task everyone tried to avoid, because almost always the lamp malfunctioned, and there would be a fuss about how long it took to complete the work. So they assigned this job to the newcomer.
This man had been out of work for a long time before he got a start at Rushton’s, and he was very anxious not to lose the job, because he had a wife and family in London. When the “coddy” told him to go and burn off this window he did not like to say that he was not used to the work: he hoped to be able to do it. But he was very nervous, and the end was that although he managed to do the burning off all right, just as he was finishing he accidentally allowed the flame of the lamp to come into contact with a large pane of glass and broke it.
This guy had been unemployed for a long time before he finally got a job at Rushton’s, and he was really keen not to lose it because he had a wife and kids back in London. When the “coddy” told him to go and burn off this window, he didn’t want to admit that he wasn't familiar with the work; he hoped he could handle it. But he was really nervous, and in the end, even though he managed to do the burning off fine, just as he was finishing up, he accidentally let the flame from the lamp touch a big pane of glass and broke it.
They sent to the shop for a new pane of glass, and the man stayed late that night and put it in in his own time, thus bearing half the cost of repairing it.
They ordered a new piece of glass from the shop, and the man stayed late that night to install it on his own time, covering half the cost of the repair.
Things were not very busy just then, and on the following Saturday two of the hands were “stood off”. The stranger was one of them, and nearly everybody was very pleased. At mealtimes the story of the broken window was repeatedly told amid jeering laughter. It really seemed as if a certain amount of indignation was felt that a stranger—especially such an inferior person as this chap who did not know how to use a lamp—should have had the cheek to try to earn his living at all! One thing was very certain—they said, gleefully—he would never get another job at Rushton’s: that was one good thing.
Things weren't very busy at that moment, and the following Saturday, two of the workers were let go. One of them was the newcomer, and nearly everyone was pretty happy about it. At mealtimes, the story of the broken window was told over and over, accompanied by mocking laughter. It really seemed like there was a bit of anger that a stranger—especially someone so inept like this guy who didn't even know how to use a lamp—had the nerve to try to make a living here at all! One thing was for sure—they said with glee—he would never get another job at Rushton’s: that was definitely a good thing.
And yet they all knew that this accident might have happened to any one of them.
And yet they all knew that this accident could have happened to any one of them.
Once a couple of men got the sack because a ceiling they distempered had to be washed off and done again. It was not really the men’s fault at all: it was a ceiling that needed special treatment and they had not been allowed to do it properly.
Once a couple of guys were fired because a ceiling they painted had to be washed off and redone. It really wasn’t the guys’ fault at all; it was a ceiling that required special treatment, and they hadn’t been allowed to do it the right way.
But all the same, when they got the sack most of the others laughed and sneered and were glad. Perhaps because they thought that the fact that these two unfortunates had been disgraced, increased their own chances of being “kept on”. And so it was with nearly everything. With a few exceptions, they had an immense amount of respect for Rushton and Hunter, and very little respect or sympathy for each other.
But still, when they were fired, most of the others laughed, mocked, and felt pleased. Maybe it was because they believed that the disgrace of these two unfortunate people improved their own chances of being “kept on.” And that was true for almost everything. With a few exceptions, they had a huge amount of respect for Rushton and Hunter, and very little respect or sympathy for one another.
Exactly the same lack of feeling for each other prevailed amongst the members of all the different trades. Everybody seemed glad if anybody got into trouble for any reason whatever.
Exactly the same lack of caring for one another was common among the members of all the different trades. Everyone seemed pleased if someone got into trouble for any reason at all.
There was a garden gate that had been made at the carpenter’s shop: it was not very well put together, and for the usual reason; the man had not been allowed the time to do it properly. After it was fixed, one of his shopmates wrote upon it with lead pencil in big letters: “This is good work for a joiner. Order one ton of putty.”
There was a garden gate that had been made at the carpenter’s shop: it wasn't very well put together, and for the usual reason; the man hadn't been given enough time to do it properly. After it was fixed, one of his coworkers wrote on it with a lead pencil in big letters: “This is good work for a joiner. Order one ton of putty.”
But to hear them talking in the pub of a Saturday afternoon just after pay-time one would think them the best friends and mates and the most independent spirits in the world, fellows whom it would be very dangerous to trifle with, and who would stick up for each other through thick and thin. All sorts of stories were related of the wonderful things they had done and said; of jobs they had “chucked up”, and masters they had “told off”: of pails of whitewash thrown over offending employers, and of horrible assaults and batteries committed upon the same. But strange to say, for some reason or other, it seldom happened that a third party ever witnessed any of these prodigies. It seemed as if a chivalrous desire to spare the feelings of their victims had always prevented them from doing or saying anything to them in the presence of witnesses.
But if you listened to them chatting in the pub on a Saturday afternoon just after payday, you’d think they were the best friends, buddies, and the most free-spirited people in the world—guys you definitely wouldn’t want to mess with, and who would always have each other’s backs no matter what. They shared all kinds of stories about the amazing things they’d done and said; about jobs they’d quit, and bosses they’d put in their place; about buckets of whitewash thrown on offending employers, and terrible assaults and battery committed against the same. But oddly enough, for some reason, a third party rarely ever witnessed any of these amazing feats. It seemed like their noble desire to spare their victims' feelings always stopped them from doing or saying anything in front of witnesses.
When he had drunk a few pints, Crass was a very good hand at these stories. Here is one that he told in the bar of the Cricketers on the Saturday afternoon of the same week that Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk got the sack. The Cricketers was only a few minutes walk from the shop and at pay-time a number of the men used to go in there to take a drink before going home.
When he had a few pints, Crass was great at telling stories. Here’s one he shared in the bar of the Cricketers on the Saturday afternoon of the same week that Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk got fired. The Cricketers was just a few minutes' walk from the shop, and at pay time, several of the guys would stop in there for a drink before heading home.
“Last Thursday night about five o’clock, ’Unter comes inter the paint-shop an’ ses to me, ‘I wants a pail o’ wash made up tonight, Crass,’ ’e ses, ‘ready for fust thing in the mornin’,’ ’e ses. ‘Oh,’ I ses, lookin’ ’im straight in the bloody eye, ‘Oh, yer do, do yer?’—just like that. ‘Yes,’ ’e ses. ‘Well, you can bloody well make it yerself!’ I ses, ‘’cos I ain’t agoin’ to,’ I ses—just like that. ‘Wot the ’ell do yer mean,’ I ses, ‘by comin’ ’ere at this time o’ night with a order like that?’ I ses. You’d a larfed,” continued Crass, as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand after taking another drink out of his glass, and looking round to note the effect of the story, “you’d a larfed if you’d bin there. ’E was fairly flabbergasted! And wen I said that to ’im I see ’is jaw drop! An’ then ’e started apoligizing and said as ’e ’adn’t meant no offence, but I told ’im bloody straight not to come no more of it. ‘You bring the horder at a reasonable time,’ I ses—just like that—‘and I’ll attend to it,’ I ses, ‘but not otherwise,’ I ses.”
"Last Thursday night around five o’clock, 'Unter comes into the paint shop and says to me, ‘I want a bucket of wash ready tonight, Crass,’ he says, ‘for first thing in the morning,’ he says. ‘Oh,’ I say, looking him straight in the eye, ‘Oh, you do, do you?’—just like that. ‘Yes,’ he says. ‘Well, you can make it yourself!’ I say, ‘because I’m not going to,’ I say—just like that. ‘What the hell do you mean,’ I say, ‘by coming here at this time of night with an order like that?’ I say. You would have laughed,” continued Crass, as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand after taking another drink from his glass, and looking around to gauge the reaction to the story, “you would have laughed if you had been there. He was completely taken aback! And when I said that to him, I saw his jaw drop! And then he started apologizing and said he hadn’t meant any offense, but I told him straight out not to bring any more of that. ‘You bring the order at a reasonable time,’ I say—just like that—‘and I’ll take care of it,’ I say, ‘but not otherwise,’ I say.”
As he concluded this story, Crass drained his glass and gazed round upon the audience, who were full of admiration. They looked at each other and at Crass and nodded their heads approvingly. Yes, undoubtedly, that was the proper way to deal with such bounders as Nimrod; take up a strong attitude, an’ let ’em see as you’ll stand no nonsense!
As he finished this story, Crass emptied his glass and looked around at the audience, who were full of admiration. They exchanged glances and nodded their heads in approval at Crass. Yes, there was no doubt that was the right way to handle such jerks like Nimrod; take a firm stand and let them know you won’t put up with any nonsense!
“Yer don’t blame me, do yer?” continued Crass. “Why should we put up with a lot of old buck from the likes of ’im! We’re not a lot of bloody Chinamen, are we?”
“Don’t blame me, do you?” continued Crass. “Why should we put up with a bunch of nonsense from someone like him! We’re not a bunch of bloody Chinese, are we?”
So far from blaming him, they all assured him that they would have acted in precisely the same way under similar circumstances.
Instead of blaming him, they all assured him that they would have done exactly the same thing in the same situation.
“For my part, I’m a bloke like this,” said a tall man with a very loud voice—a chap who nearly fell down dead every time Rushton or Misery looked at him. “I’m a bloke like this ’ere: I never stands no cheek from no gaffers! If a guv’nor ses two bloody words to me, I downs me tools and I ses to ’im, ‘Wot! Don’t I suit yer, guv’ner? Ain’t I done enuff for yer? Werry good! Gimmie me bleedin’ a’pence.’”
“For me, I’m a guy like this,” said a tall man with a very loud voice—a guy who nearly dropped dead every time Rushton or Misery looked at him. “I’m a guy like this here: I never take any crap from any bosses! If a supervisor says two damn words to me, I put down my tools and say to him, ‘What! Don’t I suit you, boss? Haven’t I done enough for you? Alright then! Give me my damn penny.’”
“Quite right too,” said everybody. That was the way to serve ’em. If only everyone would do the same as the tall man—who had just paid for another round of drinks—things would be a lot more comfortable than they was.
“Exactly,” everyone agreed. That was the way to handle it. If only everyone would act like the tall man—who had just bought another round of drinks—things would be a lot more comfortable than they were.
“Last summer I was workin’ for ole Buncer,” said a little man with a cutaway coat several sizes too large for him. “I was workin’ for ole Buncer, over at Windley, an’ you all knows as ’e don’t arf lower it. Well, one day, when I knowed ’e was on the drunk, I ’ad to first coat a room out—white; so thinks I to meself, If I buck up I shall be able to get this lot done by about four o’clock, an’ then I can clear orf ’ome. ’Cos I reckoned as ’e’d be about flattened out by that time, an’ you know ’e ain’t got no foreman. So I tears into it an’ gets this ’ere room done about a quarter past four, an’ I’d just got me things put away for the night w’en ’oo should come fallin’ up the bloody stairs but ole Buncer, drunk as a howl! An’ no sooner ’e gits inter the room than ’e starts yappin’ an’ rampin’. ‘Is this ’ere hall you’ve done?’ ’e shouts out. ‘Wotcher bin up to hall day?’ ’e ses, an’ ’e keeps on shouting” an’ swearin’ till at last I couldn’t stand it no longer, ’cos you can guess I wasn’t in a very good temper with ’im comin’ along jist then w’en I thought I was goin’ to get orf a bit early—so w’en ’e kept on shoutin’ I never made no answer to ’im, but ups with me fist an’ I gives ’im a slosh in the dial an’ stopped ’is clock! Then I chucked the pot o’ w’ite paint hover ’im, an’ kicked ’im down the bloody stairs.”
“Last summer I was working for old Buncer,” said a little man in a cutaway coat that was several sizes too big for him. “I was working for old Buncer over at Windley, and you all know he doesn't ease up. Well, one day, when I knew he was drunk, I had to paint a room—white; so I thought to myself, If I hurry up, I’ll be able to finish this by about four o’clock, and then I can head home. Because I figured he’d be completely knocked out by then, and you know he doesn’t have a foreman. So I got to work and finished the room around a quarter past four, and I had just put my things away for the night when who should come stumbling up the stairs but old Buncer, as drunk as a skunk! And no sooner did he get into the room than he started yapping and ranting. ‘Is this hall you’ve done?’ he shouts. ‘What have you been up to all day?’ he says, and he keeps shouting and swearing until finally, I couldn’t take it anymore because you can guess I wasn’t in a very good mood with him showing up just when I thought I was going to get off a bit early—so when he kept shouting, I didn’t respond, but I raised my fist and gave him a punch in the face and knocked him out! Then I dumped the pot of white paint over him and kicked him down the stairs.”
“Serve ’im blooming well right, too,” said Crass as he took a fresh glass of beer from one of the others, who had just “stood” another round.
“Serve him blooming well right, too,” said Crass as he grabbed a fresh glass of beer from one of the others, who had just bought another round.
“What did the b—r say to that?” inquired the tall man.
“What did the b—r say to that?” asked the tall man.
“Not a bloody word!” replied the little man, “’E picked ’isself up, and called a keb wot was passin’ an’ got inter it an’ went ’ome; an’ I never seen no more of ’im until about ’arf-past eleven the next day, w’en I was second-coatin’ the room, an’ ’e comes up with a noo suit o’ clothes on, an’ arsts me if I’d like to come hover to the pub an’ ’ave a drink? So we goes hover, an’ ’e calls for a w’iskey an’ soda for isself an’ arsts me wot I’d ’ave, so I ’ad the same. An’ w’ile we was gettin’ it down us, ’e ses to me, ‘Ah, Garge,’ ’e ses. ‘You losed your temper with me yesterday,’” ’e ses.”
“Not a single word!” replied the little man. “He got himself up, flagged down a cab that was passing by, climbed in, and went home. I didn’t see him again until around half-past eleven the next day when I was putting a second coat of paint on the room. He came in wearing a new suit and asked me if I’d like to go over to the pub for a drink. So we went over, and he ordered a whiskey and soda for himself and asked me what I’d like, so I had the same. And while we were drinking, he said to me, ‘Ah, Garge,’ he said. ‘You lost your temper with me yesterday,’ he said.”
“There you are, you see!” said the tall man. “There’s an example for yer! If you ’adn’t served ’im as you did you’d most likely ’ave ’ad to put up with a lot more ole buck.”
“There you are, you see!” said the tall man. “There’s an example for you! If you hadn’t treated him the way you did, you’d probably have had to deal with a lot more trouble.”
They all agreed that the little man had done quite right: they all said that they didn’ blame him in the least: they would all have done the same: in fact, this was the way they all conducted themselves whenever occasion demanded it. To hear them talk, one would imagine that such affairs as the recent exploit of Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk were constantly taking place, instead of only occurring about once in a blue moon.
They all agreed that the little man did the right thing: they all said they didn’t blame him at all: they would all have done the same: in fact, this was how they all acted whenever the situation called for it. Listening to them, you would think that incidents like Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk happened all the time, instead of just once in a while.
Crass stood the final round of drinks, and as he evidently thought that circumstance deserved to be signalized in some special manner, he proposed the following toast, which was drunk with enthusiasm:
Crass poured the last round of drinks, and since he clearly believed that moment called for some kind of special recognition, he proposed the following toast, which everyone enthusiastically accepted:
“To hell with the man,
May he never grow fat,
What carries two faces,
Under one ’at.”
“To hell with the man,
May he never grow fat,
What has two faces,
Under one hat.”
Rushton & Co. did a lot of work that summer. They did not have many big jobs, but there were a lot of little ones, and the boy Bert was kept busy running from one to the other. He spent most of his time dragging a handcart with loads of paint, or planks and steps, and seldom went out to work with the men, for when he was not taking things out to the various places where the philanthropists were working, he was in the paintshop at the yard, scraping out dirty paint-pots or helping Crass to mix up colours. Although scarcely anyone seemed to notice it, the boy presented a truly pitiable spectacle. He was very pale and thin. Dragging the handcart did not help him to put on flesh, for the weather was very hot and the work made him sweat.
Rushton & Co. did a lot of work that summer. They didn't have many big jobs, but there were plenty of small ones, and the boy Bert was kept busy running from one to the other. He spent most of his time hauling a handcart loaded with paint, planks, and steps, and rarely worked alongside the men. When he wasn't delivering supplies to the various sites where the philanthropists were working, he was in the paint shop at the yard, scraping out dirty paint pots or helping Crass mix colors. Although hardly anyone seemed to notice, the boy presented a truly sad sight. He was very pale and thin. Dragging the handcart didn’t help him gain weight, as it was extremely hot, and the work made him sweat.
His home was right away on the other side of Windley. It took him more than three-quarters of an hour to walk to the shop, and as he had to be at work at six, that meant that he had to leave home at a few minutes past five every morning, so that he always got up about half past four.
His home was just on the other side of Windley. It took him over forty-five minutes to walk to the shop, and since he had to be at work at six, that meant he had to leave home a few minutes after five every morning, which meant he always got up around four-thirty.
He was wearing a man’s coat—or rather jacket—which gave the upper part of his body a bulky appearance. The trousers were part of a suit of his own, and were somewhat narrowly cut, as is the rule with boys’ cheap ready-made trousers. These thin legs appearing under the big jacket gave him a rather grotesque appearance, which was heightened by the fact that all his clothes, cap, coat, waistcoat, trousers and boots, were smothered with paint and distemper of various colours, and there were generally a few streaks of paint of some sort or other upon his face, and of course his hands—especially round the fingernails—were grimed with it. But the worst of all were the dreadful hobnailed boots: the leather of the uppers of these was an eighth of an inch thick, and very stiff. Across the fore part of the boot this hard leather had warped into ridges and valleys, which chafed his feet, and made them bleed. The soles were five-eighths of an inch thick, covered with hobnails, and were as hard and inflexible and almost as heavy as iron. These boots hurt his feet dreadfully and made him feel very tired and miserable, for he had such a lot of walking to do. He used to be jolly glad when dinner-time came, for then he used to get out of sight in some quiet spot and lie down for the whole hour. His favourite dining-place was up in the loft over the carpenter’s shop, where they stored the mouldings and architraves. No one ever came there at that hour, and after he had eaten his dinner he used to lie down and think and rest.
He was wearing a man’s coat—or rather a jacket—which made his upper body look bulky. The trousers were part of his own suit and were cut rather narrow, like boys’ cheap ready-made pants. Those skinny legs under the oversized jacket gave him a pretty awkward look, which was made worse by the fact that all his clothes—cap, coat, vest, trousers, and boots—were covered in paint and different colors of distemper. There were usually a few streaks of paint on his face too, and of course his hands—especially around the fingernails—were dirty with it. But the worst part was the terrible hobnailed boots: the leather on these was about an eighth of an inch thick and very stiff. The front of the boots had warped into ridges and valleys, which chafed his feet and made them bleed. The soles were nearly five-eighths of an inch thick, covered with hobnails, and were as hard, stiff, and almost as heavy as iron. These boots hurt his feet a lot and made him feel really tired and miserable, especially since he had so much walking to do. He was always really glad when it was time for dinner because then he could find a quiet spot to lie down for the whole hour. His favorite place to eat was up in the loft over the carpenter’s shop, where they stored the moldings and architraves. No one ever came there at that time, and after he finished eating, he would lie down to think and rest.
He nearly always had an hour for dinner, but he did not always have it at the same time: sometimes he had it at twelve o’clock and sometimes not till two. It all depended upon what stuff had to be taken to the job.
He almost always had an hour for dinner, but he didn't always have it at the same time: sometimes he had it at twelve o'clock and other times not until two. It all depended on what materials needed to be taken to the job.
Often it happened that some men at a distant job required some material to use immediately after dinner, and perhaps Crass was not able to get it ready till twelve o’clock, so that it was not possible to take it before dinner-time, and if Bert left it till after dinner the men would be wasting their time waiting for it: so in such cases he took it there first and had his dinner when he came back.
Often, some guys working on a job far away needed some materials to use right after dinner, and maybe Crass couldn't have it ready until midnight, making it impossible to get it before dinnertime. If Bert waited until after dinner to deliver it, the guys would end up wasting their time waiting. So, in those situations, he would take it there first and eat his dinner when he got back.
Sometimes he got back about half past twelve, and it was necessary for him to take out another lot of material at one o’clock.
Sometimes he returned around twelve-thirty, and he needed to take out another batch of material at one o'clock.
In such a case he “charged” half an hour overtime on his time sheet—he used to get twopence an hour for overtime.
In this situation, he recorded half an hour of overtime on his timesheet—he used to earn two pence an hour for overtime.
Sometimes Crass sent him with a handcart to one job to get a pair of steps or tressels, or a plank, or some material or other, and take them to another job, and on these occasions it was often very late before he was able to take his meals. Instead of getting his breakfast at eight, it was often nearly nine before he got back to the shop, and frequently he had to go without dinner until half past one or two.
Sometimes Crass sent him with a handcart to one job to pick up a pair of steps, trestles, a plank, or some other material, and take them to another job. On these occasions, it was often very late before he could eat. Instead of having breakfast at eight, it was often nearly nine by the time he got back to the shop, and frequently he had to skip lunch until half past one or two.
Sometimes he could scarcely manage to carry the pots of paint to the jobs; his feet were so hot and sore. When he had to push the cart it was worse still, and often when knocking-off time came he felt so tired that he could scarcely manage to walk home.
Sometimes he could barely carry the paint cans to the job sites; his feet were so hot and sore. It was even worse when he had to push the cart, and often by quitting time, he felt so exhausted that he could hardly make it home.
But the weather was not always hot or fine: sometimes it was quite cold, almost like winter, and there was a lot of rain that summer. At such times the boy frequently got wet through several times a day as he went from one job to another, and he had to work all the time in his wet clothes and boots, which were usually old and out of repair and let in the water.
But the weather wasn't always hot or nice: sometimes it was pretty cold, almost like winter, and there was a lot of rain that summer. During those times, the boy often got soaked several times a day as he moved from one job to another, and he had to keep working in his wet clothes and boots, which were usually old and torn and let in the water.
One of the worst jobs that he had to do was when a new stock of white lead came in. This stuff came in wooden barrels containing two hundredweight, and he used to have to dig it out of these barrels with a trowel, and put it into a metal tank, where it was kept covered with water, and the empty barrels were returned to the makers.
One of the worst tasks he had to carry out was when a new shipment of white lead arrived. This material came in wooden barrels weighing two hundredweight, and he had to scoop it out of these barrels with a trowel and transfer it into a metal tank, where it was kept submerged in water, and the empty barrels were sent back to the manufacturers.
When he was doing this work he usually managed to get himself smeared all over with the white lead, and this circumstance, and the fact that he was always handling paint or some poisonous material or other was doubtless the cause of the terrible pains he often had in his stomach—pains that sometimes caused him to throw himself down and roll on the ground in agony.
When he was working, he often ended up covered in white lead, and this, along with the fact that he was always dealing with paint or some toxic material, was probably why he frequently experienced terrible stomach pains—pains that sometimes made him throw himself on the ground and roll around in agony.
One afternoon Crass sent him with a handcart to a job that Easton, Philpot, Harlow and Owen were just finishing. He got there about half past four and helped the men to load up the things, and afterwards walked alongside the cart with them back to the shop.
One afternoon, Crass sent him with a handcart to a job that Easton, Philpot, Harlow, and Owen were just finishing up. He arrived around 4:30 and helped the guys load up their stuff, and afterwards walked alongside the cart with them back to the shop.
On the way they all noticed and remarked to each other that the boy looked tired and pale and that he seemed to limp: but he did not say anything, although he guessed that they were talking about him. They arrived at the shop a little before knocking-off time—about ten minutes past five. Bert helped them to unload, and afterwards, while they were putting their things away and “charging up” the unused materials they had brought back, he pushed the cart over to the shed where it was kept, on the other side of the yard. He did not return to the shop at once and a few minutes later when Harlow came out into the yard to get a bucket of water to wash their hands with, he saw the boy leaning on the side of the cart, crying, and holding one foot off the ground.
On the way, they all noticed and commented to each other that the boy looked tired and pale, and he seemed to be limping. He didn’t say anything, even though he sensed they were talking about him. They arrived at the shop just before quitting time—around ten minutes past five. Bert helped them unload, and afterwards, while they were putting their things away and logging the unused materials they brought back, he pushed the cart over to the shed where it was stored, on the other side of the yard. He didn’t go back to the shop right away, and a few minutes later, when Harlow came out into the yard to grab a bucket of water to wash their hands, he saw the boy leaning against the cart, crying, and holding one foot off the ground.
Harlow asked him what was the matter, and while he was speaking to him the others came out to see what was up: the boy said he had rheumatism or growing pains or something in his leg, “just here near the knee”. But he didn’t say much, he just cried miserably, and turned his head slowly from side to side, avoiding the looks of the men because he felt ashamed that they should see him cry.
Harlow asked him what was wrong, and while he talked to him, the others came out to see what was going on. The boy said he had rheumatism or growing pains or something in his leg, “right here near the knee.” But he didn’t say much; he just cried sadly and slowly turned his head from side to side, avoiding the men’s gazes because he felt embarrassed for them to see him cry.
When they saw how ill and miserable he looked, the men all put their hands in their pockets to get some coppers to give to him so that he could ride home on the tram. They gave him fivepence altogether, more than enough to ride all the way; and Crass told him to go at once—there was no need to wait till half past; but before he went Philpot got a small glass bottle out of his tool bag and filled it with oil and turps—two of turps and one of oil—which he gave to Bert to rub into his leg before going to bed: The turps—he explained—was to cure the pain and the oil was to prevent it from hurting the skin. He was to get his mother to rub it in for him if he were too tired to do it himself. Bert promised to observe these directions, and, drying his tears, took his dinner basket and limped off to catch the tram.
When they saw how sick and miserable he looked, the men all reached into their pockets to find some change to give him so he could take the tram home. They handed him five pence altogether, more than enough for the ride; Crass told him to go right away—no need to wait until half past. But before he left, Philpot took a small glass bottle out of his tool bag and filled it with oil and turpentine—two parts turpentine and one part oil—which he gave to Bert to rub into his leg before going to bed. He explained that the turpentine was to relieve the pain and the oil was to protect his skin from irritation. He should have his mother help if he felt too tired to do it himself. Bert promised to follow these instructions, wiped his tears, grabbed his dinner basket, and limped off to catch the tram.
It was a few days after this that Hunter met with an accident. He was tearing off on his bicycle to one of the jobs about five minutes to twelve to see if he could catch anyone leaving off for dinner before the proper time, and while going down a rather steep hill the front brake broke—the rubbers of the rear one were worn out and failed to act—so Misery to save himself from being smashed against the railings of the houses at the bottom of the hill, threw himself off the machine, with the result that his head and face and hands were terribly cut and bruised. He was so badly knocked about that he had to remain at home for nearly three weeks, much to the delight of the men and the annoyance—one might even say the indignation—of Mr Rushton, who did not know enough about the work to make out estimates without assistance. There were several large jobs to be tendered for at the same time, so Rushton sent the specifications round to Hunter’s house for him to figure out the prices, and nearly all the time that Misery was at home he was sitting up in bed, swathed in bandages, trying to calculate the probable cost of these jobs. Rushton did not come to see him, but he sent Bert nearly every day, either with some specifications, or some accounts, or something of that sort, or with a note inquiring when Hunter thought he would be able to return to work.
A few days later, Hunter had an accident. He was racing on his bike to a job about five minutes before noon, hoping to catch someone leaving for lunch early. While going down a steep hill, the front brake failed—the rubber on the rear brake was worn out and didn’t work—so to avoid crashing into the railings at the bottom of the hill, he hurled himself off the bike, resulting in severe cuts and bruises on his head, face, and hands. He was injured badly enough that he had to stay home for nearly three weeks, much to the delight of the other workers and the frustration—some might even say the anger—of Mr. Rushton, who didn’t know enough about the work to put together estimates without help. There were several large projects up for bidding at the same time, so Rushton sent the specifications to Hunter’s house for him to calculate the costs. Almost all the time Hunter was home, he was sitting up in bed, wrapped in bandages, trying to figure out the likely costs of these projects. Rushton didn’t visit him, but he sent Bert nearly every day, either with specifications, accounts, or something similar, or with a note asking when Hunter thought he could return to work.
All sorts of rumours became prevalent amongst the men concerning Hunter’s condition. He had “broken his spiral column”, he had “conjunction of the brain”, or he had injured his “innards” and would probably never be able to “do no more slave-drivin’”. Crass—who had helped Mr Rushton to “price up” several small jobs—began to think it might not be altogether a bad thing for himself if something were to happen to Hunter, and he began to put on side and to assume airs of authority. He got one of the light-weights to assist him in his work of colourman and made him do all the hard work, while he spent part of his own time visiting the different jobs to see how the work progressed.
All kinds of rumors spread among the men about Hunter’s condition. They said he had “broken his spine,” he had a “brain injury,” or he had hurt his “insides” and would probably never be able to “drive slaves” again. Crass—who had helped Mr. Rushton to “price out” several small jobs—started to think that it might not be such a bad thing for him if something happened to Hunter. He began to act superior and took on an air of authority. He got one of the lighter workers to help him as a color man and made him do all the hard work while he spent part of his time checking in on the different jobs to see how things were going.
Crass’s appearance did him justice. He was wearing a pair of sporting trousers the pattern of which consisted of large black and white squares. The previous owner of these trousers was taller and slighter than Crass, so although the legs were about a couple of inches too long, they fitted him rather tightly, so much so that it was fortunate that he had his present job of colourman, for if he had had to do any climbing up and down ladders or steps, the trousers would have burst. His jacket was also two or three sizes too small, and the sleeves were so short that the cuffs of his flanelette shirt were visible. This coat was made of serge, and its colour had presumably once been blue, but it was now a sort of heliotrope and violet: the greater part being of the former tint, and the parts under the sleeves of the latter. This jacket fitted very tightly across the shoulders and back and being much too short left his tightly clad posteriors exposed to view.
Crass’s appearance was quite fitting. He was wearing a pair of sporty trousers with a large black and white check pattern. The previous owner of these trousers was taller and slimmer than Crass, so even though the legs were a couple of inches too long, they fit him quite snugly. Lucky for him, he had his current job as a color man, because if he had to do any climbing up and down ladders or steps, the trousers might have split. His jacket was also two or three sizes too small, and the sleeves were so short that the cuffs of his flannel shirt were visible. This coat was made of serge, and it used to be blue, but now it was more of a mix between heliotrope and violet: mostly heliotrope, with some violet under the sleeves. The jacket fit very tightly across his shoulders and back, and being much too short, it left his snugly fitted backside on display.
He however seemed quite unconscious of anything peculiar in his appearance and was so bumptious and offensive that most of the men were almost glad when Nimrod came back. They said that if Crass ever got the job he would be a dam’ sight worse than Hunter. As for the latter, for a little while after his return to work it was said that his illness had improved his character: he had had time to think things over; and in short, he was ever so much better than before: but it was not long before this story began to be told the other way round. He was worse than ever! and a thing that happened about a fortnight after his return caused more ill feeling and resentment against him and Rushton than had ever existed previously. What led up to it was something that was done by Bundy’s mate, Ted Dawson.
He, however, seemed completely unaware of anything unusual about his appearance and was so arrogant and annoying that most of the guys were almost relieved when Nimrod returned. They said that if Crass ever got the job, he would be a hell of a lot worse than Hunter. As for Hunter, for a little while after he came back to work, people said his illness had improved his character: he had time to reflect; in short, he was way better than before. But it didn't take long for that story to change. He was worse than ever! And an incident that occurred about two weeks after his return caused more resentment and negative feelings towards him and Rushton than had ever been there before. What led up to it was something done by Bundy’s partner, Ted Dawson.
This poor wretch was scarcely ever seen without a load of some sort or other: carrying a sack of cement or plaster, a heavy ladder, a big bucket of mortar, or dragging a load of scaffolding on a cart. He must have been nearly as strong as a horse, because after working in this manner for Rushton & Co. from six in the morning till half past five at night, he usually went to work in his garden for two or three hours after tea, and frequently went there for an hour or so in the morning before going to work. The poor devil needed the produce of his garden to supplement his wages, for he had a wife and three children to provide for and he earned only—or rather, to be correct, he was paid only—fourpence an hour.
This poor guy was hardly ever seen without some kind of heavy load: carrying a bag of cement or plaster, a big ladder, a bucket of mortar, or dragging a cart full of scaffolding. He must have been almost as strong as a horse because after working for Rushton & Co. from six in the morning until five thirty at night, he usually worked in his garden for two or three hours after dinner and often spent an hour or so there in the morning before heading to work. The poor guy needed what he grew in his garden to help make ends meet since he had a wife and three kids to take care of, and he earned only—or more accurately, he was paid only—fourpence an hour.
There was an old house to which they were making some alterations and repairs, and there was a lot of old wood taken out of it: old, decayed floorboards and stuff of that kind, wood that was of no use whatever except to burn.
There was an old house where they were doing some renovations and repairs, and a lot of old wood was taken out: old, rotting floorboards and things like that, wood that was useless for anything except to burn.
Bundy and his mate were working there, and one night, Misery came a few minutes before half past five and caught Dawson in the act of tying up a small bundle of this wood. When Hunter asked him what he was going to do with it he made no attempt at prevarication or concealment: he said he was going to take it home for fire-wood, because it was of no other use. Misery kicked up a devil of a row and ordered him to leave the wood where it was: it had to be taken to the yard, and it was nothing to do with Dawson or anyone else whether it was any use or not! If he caught anyone taking wood away he would sack them on the spot. Hunter shouted very loud so that all the others might hear, and as they were all listening attentively in the next room, where they were taking their aprons off preparatory to going home, they got the full benefit of his remarks.
Bundy and his buddy were working there, and one night, Misery showed up a few minutes before half past five and caught Dawson in the act of tying up a small bundle of wood. When Hunter asked him what he was planning to do with it, he didn’t try to lie or hide anything: he said he was taking it home for firewood because it was no good for anything else. Misery kicked up a huge fuss and told him to leave the wood where it was; it had to go to the yard, and it was none of Dawson's business or anyone else's whether it was useful or not! If he caught anyone taking wood away, he would fire them on the spot. Hunter shouted really loud so that everyone else could hear, and since they were all listening closely in the next room, where they were taking off their aprons before heading home, they got to hear everything he said.
The following Saturday when the hands went to the office for their money they were each presented with a printed card bearing the following legend:
The next Saturday, when the workers went to the office to get their pay, each of them was given a printed card that said the following:
Under no circumstances is any article or material, however trifling, to be taken away by workmen for their private use, whether waste material or not, from any workshop or place where work is being done. Foremen are hereby instructed to see that this order is obeyed and to report any such act coming to their knowledge. Any man breaking this rule will be either dismissed without notice or given into custody.
Under no circumstances can any article or material, no matter how small, be taken by workers for their personal use, whether it’s waste material or not, from any workshop or place where work is happening. Foremen are instructed to ensure that this rule is followed and to report any violations they become aware of. Anyone who breaks this rule will be either dismissed without warning or taken into custody.
Rushton & Co.
Rushton & Co.
Most of the men took these cards with the envelopes containing their wages and walked away without making any comment—in fact, most of them were some distance away before they realized exactly what the card was about. Two or three of them stood a few steps away from the pay window in full view of Rushton and Misery and ostentatiously tore the thing into pieces and threw them into the street. One man remained at the pay window while he read the card—and then flung it with an obscene curse into Rushton’s face, and demanded his back day, which they gave him without any remark or delay, the other men who were not yet paid having to wait while he made out his time-sheet for that morning.
Most of the guys took their cards with the envelopes containing their pay and walked off without saying anything—in fact, most of them were quite a distance away before they realized what the card was really about. Two or three of them stood a few steps away from the pay window, clearly in view of Rushton and Misery, and dramatically ripped the card into pieces and tossed them onto the street. One man stayed at the pay window to read the card—and then threw it back at Rushton’s face with a vulgar curse, demanding his payment for the previous day, which they gave him right away without any comments or delays, while the other guys who hadn’t been paid yet had to wait while he filled out his time-sheet for that morning.
The story of this card spread all over the place in a very short time. It became the talk of every shop in the town. Whenever any of Rushton’s men encountered the employees of another firm, the latter used to shout after them—“However trifling!”—or “Look out, chaps! ’Ere comes some of Rushton’s pickpockets.”
The story of this card spread all over pretty quickly. It became the talk of every store in town. Whenever any of Rushton’s guys ran into employees from another company, they would yell after them—“Whatever, it’s no big deal!”—or “Watch out, guys! Here come some of Rushton’s pickpockets.”
Amongst Rushton’s men themselves it became a standing joke or form of greeting to say when one met another—“Remember! However trifling!”
Among Rushton’s men, it turned into a running joke or a way of greeting each other to say when they met, “Remember! No matter how insignificant!”
If one of their number was seen going home with an unusual amount of paint or whitewash on his hands or clothes, the others would threaten to report him for stealing the material. They used to say that however trifling the quantity, it was against orders to take it away.
If one of them was spotted heading home with an unusual amount of paint or whitewash on his hands or clothes, the others would threaten to report him for stealing the supplies. They would say that no matter how small the amount, it was against the rules to take it.
Harlow drew up a list of rules which he said Mr Rushton had instructed him to communicate to the men. One of these rules provided that everybody was to be weighed upon arrival at the job in the morning and again at leaving-off time: any man found to have increased in weight was to be discharged.
Harlow made a list of rules that he said Mr. Rushton asked him to share with the workers. One of these rules stated that everyone would be weighed when they arrived for work in the morning and again at the end of the day: any man found to have gained weight would be fired.
There was also much cursing and covert resentment about it; the men used to say that such a thing as that looked well coming from the likes of Rushton and Hunter, and they used to remind each other of the affair of the marble-topped console table, the barometer, the venetian blinds and all the other robberies.
There was a lot of swearing and hidden anger about it; the guys would say that it was fitting for people like Rushton and Hunter to act like that, and they would remind each other of the incident with the marble-topped console table, the barometer, the Venetian blinds, and all the other thefts.
None of them ever said anything to either Misery or Rushton about the cards, but one morning when the latter was reading his letters at the breakfast table, on opening one of them he found that it contained one of the notices, smeared with human excrement. He did not eat any more breakfast that morning.
None of them ever mentioned anything to either Misery or Rushton about the cards, but one morning, while Rushton was reading his letters at the breakfast table, he opened one of them and found a notice inside, smeared with human waste. He didn’t finish his breakfast that morning.
It was not to be much wondered at that none of them had the courage to openly resent the conditions under which they had to work, for although it was summer, there were many men out of employment, and it was much easier to get the sack than it was to get another job.
It’s not surprising that none of them had the guts to openly complain about the conditions they worked in, because even though it was summer, a lot of men were out of work, and it was much easier to get fired than to find a new job.
None of the men were ever caught stealing anything, however trifling, but all the same during the course of the summer five or six of them were captured by the police and sent to jail—for not being able to pay their poor rates.
None of the men were ever caught stealing anything, no matter how small, but still, over the summer, five or six of them were picked up by the police and sent to jail—for being unable to pay their poor rates.
All through the summer Owen continued to make himself objectionable and to incur the ridicule of his fellow workmen by talking about the causes of poverty and of ways to abolish it.
All summer long, Owen kept being annoying and facing mockery from his coworkers by discussing the reasons for poverty and how to eliminate it.
Most of the men kept two shillings or half a crown of their wages back from their wives for pocket money, which they spent on beer and tobacco. There were a very few who spent a little more than this, and there were a still smaller number who spent so much in this way that their families had to suffer in consequence.
Most of the men held back two shillings or half a crown of their wages from their wives for pocket money, which they used for beer and tobacco. A small number spent a bit more than this, and an even smaller group spent so much that their families had to deal with the consequences.
Most of those who kept back half a crown or three shillings from their wives did so on the understanding that they were to buy their clothing out of it. Some of them had to pay a shilling a week to a tallyman or credit clothier. These were the ones who indulged in shoddy new suits—at long intervals. Others bought—or got their wives to buy for them—their clothes at second-hand shops, “paying off” about a shilling or so a week and not receiving the things till they were paid for.
Most of the guys who held back half a crown or three shillings from their wives did it with the idea that they would use it to buy their clothes. Some had to pay a shilling a week to a tallyman or a credit clothier. These were the ones who treated themselves to low-quality new suits—only every once in a while. Others would buy—or have their wives buy for them—their clothes at thrift shops, “paying off” around a shilling a week and not getting the items until they were fully paid for.
There were a very large proportion of them who did not spend even a shilling a week for drink: and there were numerous others who, while not being formally total abstainers, yet often went for weeks together without either entering a public house or tasting intoxicating drink in any form.
There was a huge number of them who didn’t spend even a penny a week on alcohol; and there were many others who, while not officially teetotalers, often went weeks without stepping into a bar or consuming any kind of alcoholic drink.
Then there were others who, instead of drinking tea or coffee or cocoa with their dinners or suppers, drank beer. This did not cost more than the teetotal drinks, but all the same there are some persons who say that those who swell the “Nation’s Drink Bill” by drinking beer with their dinners or suppers are a kind of criminal, and that they ought to be compelled to drink something else: that is, if they are working people. As for the idle classes, they of course are to be allowed to continue to make merry, “drinking whisky, wine and sherry”, to say nothing of having their beer in by the barrel and the dozen—or forty dozen—bottles. But of course that’s a different matter, because these people make so much money out of the labour of the working classes that they can afford to indulge in this way without depriving their children of the necessaries of life.
Then there were others who, instead of having tea, coffee, or cocoa with their dinners or suppers, chose to drink beer. It didn't cost more than the non-alcoholic drinks, but still, some people claim that those who contribute to the “Nation’s Drink Bill” by having beer with their meals are a sort of criminal and should be forced to drink something else—especially if they’re working-class. As for the upper classes, they’re allowed to keep enjoying themselves, “drinking whisky, wine, and sherry,” not to mention having their beer by the barrel or by the dozen—or forty dozen—bottles. But of course, that’s a different story because these people make so much money from the labor of the working class that they can afford to indulge without depriving their children of the essentials of life.
There is no more cowardly, dastardly slander than is contained in the assertion that the majority or any considerable proportion of working men neglect their families through drink. It is a condemned lie. There are some who do, but they are not even a large minority. They are few and far between, and are regarded with contempt by their fellow workmen.
There’s no more cowardly, despicable slander than the claim that most or a significant number of working men neglect their families because of alcohol. It’s a blatant lie. While some do, they don’t even make up a large minority. They are rare and looked down upon by their fellow workers.
It will be said that their families had to suffer for want of even the little that most of them spent in that way: but the persons that use this argument should carry it to its logical conclusion. Tea is an unnecessary and harmful drink; it has been condemned by medical men so often that to enumerate its evil qualities here would be waste of time. The same can be said of nearly all the cheap temperance drinks; they are unnecessary and harmful and cost money, and, like beer, are drunk only for pleasure.
It will be argued that their families had to suffer because they couldn't even afford the little that most of them spent in that way: but those who make this argument should take it to its logical conclusion. Tea is an unnecessary and harmful drink; medical professionals have condemned it so frequently that listing its negative effects here would be a waste of time. The same can be said for almost all inexpensive non-alcoholic drinks; they are unnecessary and harmful, cost money, and, like beer, are consumed solely for enjoyment.
What right has anyone to say to working men that when their work is done they should not find pleasure in drinking a glass or two of beer together in a tavern or anywhere else? Let those who would presume to condemn them carry their argument to its logical conclusion and condemn pleasure of every kind. Let them persuade the working classes to lead still simpler lives; to drink water instead of such unwholesome things as tea, coffee, beer, lemonade and all the other harmful and unnecessary stuff. They would then be able to live ever so much more cheaply, and as wages are always and everywhere regulated by the cost of living, they would be able to work for lower pay.
What right does anyone have to tell working people that after a long day, they shouldn’t enjoy having a glass or two of beer with friends at a bar or anywhere else? Those who want to judge them should take their argument to its extreme and condemn all forms of enjoyment. They should try to convince the working class to live even simpler lives; to drink water instead of things like tea, coffee, beer, lemonade, and all the other unhealthy and unnecessary drinks. Then they could live much more affordably, and since wages are always based on the cost of living, they could end up working for less pay.
These people are fond of quoting the figures of the “Nation’s Drink Bill,” as if all this money were spent by the working classes! But if the amount of money spent in drink by the “aristocracy”, the clergy and the middle classes were deducted from the “Nation’s Drink Bill”, it would be seen that the amount spent per head by the working classes is not so alarming after all; and would probably not be much larger than the amount spent on drink by those who consume tea and coffee and all the other unwholesome and unnecessary “temperance” drinks.
These people love to quote the figures from the "Nation’s Drink Bill," as if all that money were spent by the working class! But if you subtract the money spent on drinks by the "aristocracy," the clergy, and the middle classes from the "Nation’s Drink Bill," it becomes clear that the amount spent per person by the working class isn’t so shocking after all; it would likely be not much higher than what those who drink tea, coffee, and all the other unhealthy and unnecessary "temperance" drinks spend.
The fact that some of Rushton’s men spent about two shillings a week on drink while they were in employment was not the cause of their poverty. If they had never spent a farthing for drink, and if their wretched wages had been increased fifty percent, they would still have been in a condition of the most abject and miserable poverty, for nearly all the benefits and privileges of civilization, nearly everything that makes life worth living, would still have been beyond their reach.
The reality that some of Rushton’s men spent around two shillings a week on alcohol while they were working was not what caused their poverty. Even if they had never spent a penny on drinks, and if their pitiful wages had been raised by fifty percent, they would still have been in a state of extreme and miserable poverty, because nearly all the benefits and privileges of society, almost everything that makes life enjoyable, would still have been out of their reach.
It is inevitable, so long as men have to live and work under such heartbreaking, uninteresting conditions as at present that a certain proportion of them will seek forgetfulness and momentary happiness in the tavern, and the only remedy for this evil is to remove the cause; and while that is in process, there is something else that can be done and that is, instead of allowing filthy drinking dens, presided over by persons whose interest it is to encourage men to drink more bad beer than is good for them or than they can afford,—to have civilized institutions run by the State or the municipalities for use and not merely for profit. Decent pleasure houses, where no drunkenness or filthiness would be tolerated—where one could buy real beer or coffee or tea or any other refreshments; where men could repair when their day’s work was over and spend an hour or two in rational intercourse with their fellows or listen to music and singing. Taverns to which they could take their wives and children without fear of defilement, for a place that is not fit for the presence of a woman or a child is not fit to exist at all.
It’s unavoidable that as long as people have to live and work in the heartbreaking and uninteresting conditions of today, some of them will look for escape and brief happiness in bars. The only way to fix this issue is to eliminate the cause. While that happens, we can do something else: instead of allowing dirty drinking establishments run by people who profit from getting men to consume more bad beer than is healthy or affordable, we should create civilized places managed by the state or local governments that focus on use rather than just profit. We need decent entertainment venues where drunkenness and filth are not allowed—places where you can buy quality beer, coffee, tea, or other refreshments; where people can unwind after a long day and enjoy meaningful conversations with others or listen to music and singing. Taverns where they can bring their wives and kids without worrying about inappropriate behavior, because any place that isn’t suitable for women or children has no right to exist at all.
Owen, being a teetotaller, did not spend any of his money on drink; but he spent a lot on what he called “The Cause”. Every week he bought some penny or twopenny pamphlets or some leaflets about Socialism, which he lent or gave to his mates; and in this way and by means of much talk he succeeded in converting a few to his party. Philpot, Harlow and a few others used to listen with interest, and some of them even paid for the pamphlets they obtained from Owen, and after reading them themselves, passed them on to others, and also occasionally “got up” arguments on their own accounts. Others were simply indifferent, or treated the subject as a kind of joke, ridiculing the suggestion that it was possible to abolish poverty. They repeated that there had “always been rich and poor in the world and there always would be, so there was an end of it”. But the majority were bitterly hostile; not to Owen, but to Socialism. For the man himself most of them had a certain amount of liking, especially the ordinary hands because it was known that he was not a “master’s man” and that he had declined to “take charge” of jobs which Misery had offered to him. But to Socialism they were savagely and malignantly opposed. Some of those who had shown some symptoms of Socialism during the past winter when they were starving had now quite recovered and were stout defenders of the Present System.
Owen, being a non-drinker, didn’t spend any of his money on alcohol; instead, he invested a lot in what he called “The Cause.” Every week, he bought some penny or two-penny pamphlets or leaflets about Socialism, which he lent or gave to his friends; through this and a lot of discussion, he managed to convince a few of them to join his side. Philpot, Harlow, and a few others listened with interest, and some even paid for the pamphlets they got from Owen. After reading them, they passed them on to others and sometimes even sparked up their own discussions. Others were just indifferent or treated the topic as a joke, mocking the idea that poverty could be eliminated. They insisted that there had “always been rich and poor in the world and there always would be, so that’s that.” But most were fiercely against Socialism; not against Owen personally, as many liked him, especially the regular workers, because it was known he wasn’t a “company man” and had turned down opportunities to “take charge” of jobs offered by Misery. However, they were vehemently and maliciously opposed to Socialism. Some who had shown interest in Socialism during the previous winter when they were struggling had now fully recovered and were staunch supporters of the current system.
Barrington was still working for the firm and continued to maintain his manner of reserve, seldom speaking unless addressed but all the same, for several reasons, it began to be rumoured that he shared Owen’s views. He always paid for the pamphlets that Owen gave him, and on one occasion, when Owen bought a thousand leaflets to give away, Barrington contributed a shilling towards the half-crown that Owen paid for them. But he never took any part in the arguments that sometimes raged during the dinner-hour or at breakfast-time.
Barrington was still working for the company and kept up his usual demeanor of silence, rarely speaking unless he was directly addressed. Still, for a few reasons, rumors started to spread that he agreed with Owen’s views. He always paid for the pamphlets that Owen handed him, and once, when Owen purchased a thousand leaflets to distribute, Barrington pitched in a shilling toward the two-and-six that Owen spent on them. However, he never joined in the debates that occasionally erupted during lunch or breakfast.
It was a good thing for Owen that he had his enthusiasm for “the cause” to occupy his mind. Socialism was to him what drink was to some of the others—the thing that enable them to forget and tolerate the conditions under which they were forced to exist. Some of them were so muddled with beer, and others so besotted with admiration of their Liberal and Tory masters, that they were oblivious of the misery of their own lives, and in a similar way, Owen was so much occupied in trying to rouse them from their lethargy and so engrossed in trying to think out new arguments to convince them of the possibility of bringing about an improvement in their condition that he had no time to dwell upon his own poverty; the money that he spent on leaflets and pamphlets to give away might have been better spent on food and clothing for himself, because most of those to whom he gave them were by no means grateful; but he never thought of that; and after all, nearly everyone spends money on some hobby or other. Some people deny themselves the necessaries or comforts of life in order that they may be able to help to fatten a publican. Others deny themselves in order to enable a lazy parson to live in idleness and luxury; and others spend much time and money that they really need for themselves in buying Socialist literature to give away to people who don’t want to know about Socialism.
It was a good thing for Owen that he had his passion for “the cause” to keep him occupied. To him, socialism was like alcohol to some of the others—it helped them forget and endure the harsh realities of their lives. Some were so out of it from beer, while others were so enamored with their Liberal and Tory leaders, that they didn’t even notice the misery around them. In the same way, Owen was so focused on trying to awaken them from their apathy and so wrapped up in developing new arguments to persuade them that change was possible, that he had no time to think about his own poverty. The money he spent on leaflets and pamphlets to distribute might have been better spent on food and clothing for himself, especially since most of those he gave them to were far from grateful; but he never considered that. After all, nearly everyone spends money on some hobby or another. Some people go without life’s essentials or comforts just to keep a pub owner in business. Others forgo things they need to support a lazy pastor living in comfort and excess; and then there are those who waste a lot of time and money they can’t really afford buying socialist literature to hand out to people uninterested in socialism.
One Sunday morning towards the end of July, a band of about twenty-five men and women on bicycles invaded the town. Two of them—who rode a few yards in front of the others, had affixed to the handlebars of each of their machines a slender, upright standard from the top of one of which fluttered a small flag of crimson silk with “International Brotherhood and Peace” in gold letters. The other standard was similar in size and colour, but with a different legend: “One for all and All for one.”
One Sunday morning toward the end of July, a group of about twenty-five men and women on bikes took over the town. Two of them—who rode a little ahead of the others—had attached a tall, thin flagpole to the handlebars of their bikes. At the top of one of the flagpoles fluttered a small crimson silk flag that read “International Brotherhood and Peace” in gold letters. The other flagpole was the same size and color, but it had a different message: “One for all and All for one.”
As they rode along they gave leaflets to the people in the streets, and whenever they came to a place where there were many people they dismounted and walked about, giving their leaflets to whoever would accept them. They made several long halts during their progress along the Grand Parade, where there was a considerable crowd, and then they rode over the hill to Windley, which they reached a little before opening time. There were little crowds waiting outside the several public houses and a number of people passing through the streets on their way home from Church and Chapel. The strangers distributed leaflets to all those who would take them, and they went through a lot of the side streets, putting leaflets under the doors and in the letter-boxes. When they had exhausted their stock they remounted and rode back the way they came.
As they rode along, they handed out leaflets to people in the streets, and whenever they reached an area with a lot of people, they got off their bikes and walked around, giving their leaflets to anyone willing to take them. They made several long stops during their ride along the Grand Parade, where there was a large crowd, and then they rode over the hill to Windley, arriving just before it opened. There were small groups waiting outside various pubs, and a number of people walking through the streets on their way home from Church and Chapel. The newcomers distributed leaflets to everyone who would accept them, and they went through many of the side streets, slipping leaflets under doors and into mailboxes. Once they ran out of leaflets, they got back on their bikes and rode back the way they came.
Meantime the news of their arrival had spread, and as they returned through the town they were greeted with jeers and booing. Presently someone threw a stone, and as there happened to be plenty of stones just there several others followed suit and began running after the retreating cyclists, throwing stones, hooting and cursing.
Meantime, the news of their arrival had spread, and as they made their way back through the town, they were met with jeers and boos. Soon, someone threw a stone, and since there were plenty of stones around, several others joined in and started chasing after the cyclists who were retreating, throwing stones and shouting curses.
The leaflet which had given rise to all this fury read as follows:
The leaflet that started all this outrage said:
WHAT IS SOCIALISM?
What is socialism?
At present the workers, with hand and brain produce continually food, clothing and all useful and beautiful things in great abundance.
At present, workers use their hands and minds to continuously produce food, clothing, and all kinds of useful and beautiful things in large quantities.
BUT THEY LABOUR IN VAIN—for they are mostly poor and often in want. They find it a hard struggle to live. Their women and children suffer, and their old age is branded with pauperism.
BUT THEY LABOR IN VAIN—for they are mostly poor and often in need. They find it a tough struggle to get by. Their women and children suffer, and their old age is marked by poverty.
Socialism is a plan by which poverty will be abolished, and everyone enabled to live in plenty and comfort, with leisure and opportunity for ampler life.
Socialism is a strategy aimed at eliminating poverty and ensuring that everyone can live comfortably and abundantly, with time and opportunities for a fuller life.
If you wish to hear more of this plan, come to the field at the Cross Roads on the hill at Windley, on Tuesday evening next at 8 P.M. and
If you want to hear more about this plan, come to the field at the Cross Roads on the hill at Windley, next Tuesday evening at 8 PM, and
LOOK OUT FOR THE SOCIALIST VAN
LOOK OUT FOR THE SOCIALIST VAN
The cyclists rode away amid showers of stones without sustaining much damage. One had his hand cut and another, who happened to look round, was struck on the forehead, but these were the only casualties.
The cyclists rode off while getting pelted with stones but didn’t get hurt too badly. One person had his hand cut, and another, who happened to glance back, got hit on the forehead, but those were the only injuries.
On the following Tuesday evening, long before the appointed time, there was a large crowd assembled at the cross roads or the hill at Windley, waiting for the appearance of the van, and they were evidently prepared to give the Socialists a warm reception. There was only one policeman in uniform there but there were several in plain clothes amongst the crowd.
On the next Tuesday evening, well before the scheduled time, a big crowd gathered at the crossroads or the hill at Windley, waiting for the van to show up, and they clearly seemed ready to give the Socialists a lively welcome. There was only one uniformed policeman present, but there were several in plain clothes mixed in with the crowd.
Crass, Dick Wantley, the Semi-drunk, Sawkins, Bill Bates and several other frequenters of the Cricketers were amongst the crowd, and there were also a sprinkling of tradespeople, including the Old Dear and Mr Smallman, the grocer, and a few ladies and gentlemen—wealthy visitors—but the bulk of the crowd were working men, labourers, mechanics and boys.
Crass, Dick Wantley, the semi-drunk, Sawkins, Bill Bates, and several other regulars at the Cricketers were in the crowd. There were also a few local tradespeople, including the Old Dear and Mr. Smallman, the grocer, along with some wealthy visitors—ladies and gentlemen—but most of the crowd consisted of working men, laborers, mechanics, and boys.
As it was quite evident that the crowd meant mischief—many of them had their pockets filled with stones and were armed with sticks—several of the Socialists were in favour of going to meet the van to endeavour to persuade those in charge from coming, and with that object they withdrew from the crowd, which was already regarding them with menacing looks, and went down the road in the direction from which the van was expected to come. They had not gone very far, however, before the people, divining what they were going to do, began to follow them and while they were hesitating what course to pursue, the Socialist van, escorted by five or six men on bicycles, appeared round the corner at the bottom of the hill.
It was pretty clear that the crowd was up to no good—many had their pockets stuffed with stones and were carrying sticks—so several of the Socialists wanted to go meet the van to try to convince the people in charge not to come. With that goal in mind, they stepped away from the crowd, which was already glaring at them threateningly, and headed down the road toward where the van was expected. However, they hadn’t gone very far before the crowd figured out what they were up to and started to follow them. Just as they were trying to decide what to do, the Socialist van, accompanied by five or six men on bikes, turned the corner at the bottom of the hill.
As soon as the crowd saw it, they gave an exultant cheer, or, rather, yell, and began running down the hill to meet it, and in a few minutes it was surrounded by a howling mob. The van was drawn by two horses; there was a door and a small platform at the back and over this was a sign with white letters on a red ground: “Socialism, the only hope of the Workers.”
As soon as the crowd saw it, they erupted in cheers, or rather, shouts, and started racing down the hill to meet it. Within minutes, it was surrounded by an enthusiastic mob. The van was pulled by two horses; there was a door and a small platform at the back, and above this was a sign with white letters on a red background: “Socialism, the only hope of the Workers.”
The driver pulled up, and another man on the platform at the rear attempted to address the crowd, but his voice was inaudible in the din of howls, catcalls, hooting and obscene curses. After about an hour of this, as the crowd began pushing against the van and trying to overturn it, the terrified horses commenced to get restive and uncontrollable, and the man on the box attempted to drive up the hill. This seemed to still further infuriate the horde of savages who surrounded the van. Numbers of them clutched the wheels and turned them the reverse way, screaming that it must go back to where it came from; several of them accordingly seized the horses’ heads and, amid cheers, turned them round.
The driver pulled up, and another guy on the platform at the back tried to speak to the crowd, but nobody could hear him over the noise of howls, catcalls, hooting, and vulgar insults. After about an hour of this, as the crowd started pushing against the van and trying to flip it over, the scared horses began to get restless and out of control, so the guy in front tried to drive up the hill. This only made the group of rowdy people around the van even angrier. Many of them grabbed the wheels and turned them backward, shouting that it should go back to where it came from; several of them then took hold of the horses’ heads and, amid cheers, turned them around.
The man on the platform was still trying to make himself heard, but without success. The strangers who had come with the van and the little group of local Socialists, who had forced their way through the crowd and gathered together close to the platform in front of the would-be speaker, only increased the din by their shouts of appeal to the crowd to “give the man a fair chance”. This little bodyguard closed round the van as it began to move slowly downhill, but they were not sufficiently numerous to protect it from the crowd, which, not being satisfied with the rate at which the van was proceeding, began to shout to each other to “Run it away!” “Take the brake off!” and several savage rushes were made with the intention of putting these suggestions into execution.
The man on the platform was still trying to get himself heard, but had no luck. The strangers who came with the van, along with the small group of local Socialists who pushed their way through the crowd to gather close to the speaker, only added to the noise by shouting to the crowd to "give the man a fair chance." This little support group surrounded the van as it started moving slowly downhill, but they weren't enough to protect it from the crowd, which, unhappy with the van's speed, began shouting to each other to "Run it away!" "Take the brake off!" and made several aggressive attempts to follow through on those suggestions.
Some of the defenders were hampered with their bicycles, but they resisted as well as they were able, and succeeded in keeping the crowd off until the foot of the hill was reached, and then someone threw the first stone, which by a strange chance happened to strike one of the cyclists whose head was already bandaged—it was the same man who had been hit on the Sunday. This stone was soon followed by others, and the man on the platform was the next to be struck. He got it right on the mouth, and as he put up his handkerchief to staunch the blood another struck him on the forehead just above the temple, and he dropped forward on his face on to the platform as if he had been shot.
Some of the defenders were struggling with their bicycles, but they fought back as best as they could and managed to keep the crowd at bay until they reached the bottom of the hill. Then, someone threw the first stone, which, by a strange coincidence, hit one of the cyclists whose head was already bandaged—it was the same guy who had been injured on Sunday. This stone was quickly followed by others, and the man on the platform was the next target. He got hit right in the mouth, and as he raised his handkerchief to stop the bleeding, another stone struck him on the forehead just above the temple, causing him to fall forward onto the platform as if he had been shot.
As the speed of the vehicle increased, a regular hail of stones fell upon the roof and against the sides of the van and whizzed past the retreating cyclists, while the crowd followed close behind, cheering, shrieking out volleys of obscene curses, and howling like wolves.
As the vehicle sped up, a constant barrage of stones rained down on the roof and hit the sides of the van, whizzing by the cyclists who were trying to escape, while the crowd surged behind them, cheering, shouting a stream of foul curses, and howling like wolves.
“We’ll give the b—rs Socialism!” shouted Crass, who was literally foaming at the mouth.
“We’ll give those bastards Socialism!” shouted Crass, who was literally foaming at the mouth.
“We’ll teach ’em to come ’ere trying to undermined our bloody morality,” howled Dick Wantley as he hurled a lump of granite that he had torn up from the macadamized road at one of the cyclists.
“We’ll teach them to come here trying to undermine our damn morality,” shouted Dick Wantley as he threw a chunk of granite that he had ripped up from the paved road at one of the cyclists.
They ran on after the van until it was out of range, and then they bethought themselves of the local Socialists; but they were nowhere to be seen; they had prudently withdrawn as soon as the van had got fairly under way, and the victory being complete, the upholders of the present system returned to the piece of waste ground on the top of the hill, where a gentleman in a silk hat and frockcoat stood up on a little hillock and made a speech. He said nothing about the Distress Committee or the Soup Kitchen or the children who went to school without proper clothes or food, and made no reference to what was to be done next winter, when nearly everybody would be out of work. These were matters he and they were evidently not at all interested in. But he said a good deal about the Glorious Empire! and the Flag! and the Royal Family. The things he said were received with rapturous applause, and at the conclusion of his address, the crowd sang the National Anthem with great enthusiasm and dispersed, congratulating themselves that they had shown to the best of their ability what Mugsborough thought of Socialism and the general opinion of the crowd was that they would hear nothing more from the Socialist van.
They chased after the van until it was out of sight, and then they remembered the local Socialists; however, they were nowhere to be found. They had wisely backed off as soon as the van had really gotten going, and with their victory complete, the supporters of the current system returned to the patch of waste ground on top of the hill, where a man in a top hat and formal coat stood on a small mound and gave a speech. He didn’t mention the Distress Committee or the Soup Kitchen or the kids who went to school without proper clothes or food, nor did he talk about what would happen next winter when almost everyone would be unemployed. Clearly, these issues didn’t interest him or his supporters at all. Instead, he rambled on about the Glorious Empire! and the Flag! and the Royal Family. His words were met with enthusiastic applause, and at the end of his speech, the crowd sang the National Anthem with great fervor and then broke up, patting themselves on the back for showing what Mugsborough thought of Socialism. The general sentiment was that they wouldn’t be hearing from the Socialist van again.
But in this they were mistaken, for the very next Sunday evening a crowd of Socialists suddenly materialized at the Cross Roads. Some of them had come by train, others had walked from different places and some had cycled.
But in this they were wrong, because the very next Sunday evening a crowd of Socialists suddenly showed up at the Cross Roads. Some had come by train, others had walked from various places, and some had cycled.
A crowd gathered and the Socialists held a meeting, two speeches being delivered before the crowd recovered from their surprise at the temerity of these other Britishers who apparently had not sense enough to understand that they had been finally defeated and obliterated last Tuesday evening: and when the cyclist with the bandaged head got up on the hillock some of the crowd actually joined in the hand-clapping with which the Socialists greeted him.
A crowd gathered, and the Socialists held a meeting. Two speeches were delivered before the crowd got over their shock at the boldness of these other British people who seemed not to realize that they had been completely defeated and wiped out last Tuesday evening. When the cyclist with the bandaged head stood up on the little mound, some people in the crowd actually joined in the applause that the Socialists gave him.
In the course of his speech he informed them that the man who had come with the van and who had been felled whilst attempting to speak from the platform was now in hospital. For some time it had been probable that he would not recover, but he was now out of danger, and as soon as he was well enough there was no doubt that he would come there again.
During his speech, he told them that the man who had arrived with the van and had been knocked down while trying to speak from the platform was now in the hospital. For a while, it seemed likely that he wouldn't recover, but he was now out of danger, and as soon as he was well enough, there was no doubt that he would come back again.
Upon this Crass shouted out that if ever the Vanners did return, they would finish what they had begun last Tuesday. He would not get off so easy next time. But when he said this, Crass—not being able to see into the future—did not know what the reader will learn in due time, that the man was to return to that place under different circumstances.
Upon this, Crass shouted that if the Vanners ever came back, they would finish what they started last Tuesday. He wouldn’t get off so easily next time. But when he said this, Crass—unable to see into the future—did not know what the reader will find out in time, that the man would return to that place under different circumstances.
When they had finished their speech-making one of the strangers who was acting as chairman invited the audience to put questions, but as nobody wanted to ask any, he invited anyone who disagreed with what had been said to get up on the hillock and state his objections, so that the audience might have an opportunity of judging for themselves which side was right; but this invitation was also neglected. Then the chairman announced that they were coming there again next Sunday at the same time, when a comrade would speak on “Unemployment and Poverty, the Cause and the Remedy”, and then the strangers sang a song called “England Arise”, the first verse being:
When they finished their speeches, one of the strangers acting as the chair invited the audience to ask questions, but since no one seemed interested, he encouraged anyone who disagreed with what had been said to step up on the hillock and share their objections, allowing the audience to judge for themselves which side was correct; however, this invitation was also ignored. Then the chair announced they would return the following Sunday at the same time, where a comrade would discuss “Unemployment and Poverty, the Cause and the Remedy,” and afterward, the strangers sang a song called “England Arise,” with the first verse being:
England Arise, the long, long night is over,
Faint in the east, behold the Dawn appear
Out of your evil dream of toil and sorrow
Arise, O England! for the day is here!
England, rise up; the long, long night is finally over,
Faint in the east, see the dawn breaking
Out of your dark dreams of hard work and sadness
Get up, England! The day has come!
During the progress of the meeting several of the strangers had been going out amongst the crowd giving away leaflets, which many of the people gloomily refused to accept, and selling penny pamphlets, of which they managed to dispose of about three dozen.
During the meeting, several strangers were mingling with the crowd, handing out leaflets that many people grimly refused to take, and selling cheap pamphlets, managing to sell about three dozen.
Before declaring the meeting closed, the chairman said that the speaker who was coming next week resided in London: he was not a millionaire, but a workman, the same as nearly all those who were there present. They were not going to pay him anything for coming, but they intended to pay his railway fare. Therefore next Sunday after the meeting there would be a collection, and anything over the amount of the fare would be used for the purchase of more leaflets such as those they were now giving away. He hoped that anyone who thought that any of the money went into the pockets of those who held the meeting would come and join: then they could have their share.
Before wrapping up the meeting, the chairman mentioned that the speaker coming next week lives in London. He’s not a millionaire, but a working-class person, just like most of the people present. They aren't going to pay him to come, but they plan to cover his train fare. So, next Sunday after the meeting, there will be a collection, and any money collected beyond the fare will be used to buy more leaflets like the ones they’re currently handing out. He encouraged anyone who thinks that any of the money goes into the pockets of the organizers to join in; that way, they can have their share.
The meeting now terminated and the Socialists were suffered to depart in peace. Some of them, however, lingered amongst the crowd after the main body had departed, and for a long time after the meeting was over little groups remained on the field excitedly discussing the speeches or the leaflets.
The meeting was now over, and the Socialists were allowed to leave in peace. However, some of them hung around the crowd after the main group had left, and for a while after the meeting ended, small groups stayed in the field, excitedly talking about the speeches and the pamphlets.
The next Sunday evening when the Socialists came they found the field at the Cross Roads in the possession of a furious, hostile mob, who refused to allow them to speak, and finally they had to go away without having held a meeting. They came again the next Sunday, and on this occasion they had a speaker with a very loud—literally a stentorian—voice, and he succeeded in delivering an address, but as only those who were very close were able to hear him, and as they were all Socialists, it was not of much effect upon those for whom it was intended.
The next Sunday evening when the Socialists arrived, they found the field at the Cross Roads filled with an angry, hostile crowd that wouldn’t let them speak, forcing them to leave without holding a meeting. They returned the following Sunday, and this time they had a speaker with an extremely loud—literally a booming—voice, and he managed to give a speech. However, since only those who were very close could hear him, and they were all Socialists, it didn’t really impact the people it was meant for.
They came again the next Sunday and nearly every other Sunday during the summer: sometimes they were permitted to hold their meeting in comparative peace and at other times there was a row. They made several converts, and many people declared themselves in favour of some of the things advocated, but they were never able to form a branch of their society there, because nearly all those who were convinced were afraid to publicly declare themselves lest they should lose their employment or customers.
They came back the next Sunday and almost every other Sunday in the summer: sometimes they were allowed to hold their meeting in relative peace, and other times there was a commotion. They made several converts, and many people supported some of the ideas they promoted, but they never managed to create a local branch of their society because almost all of those convinced were afraid to speak out publicly for fear of losing their jobs or customers.
Chapter 44
The Beano
Now and then a transient gleam of sunshine penetrated the gloom in which the lives of the philanthropists were passed. The cheerless monotony was sometimes enlivened with a little innocent merriment. Every now and then there was a funeral which took Misery and Crass away for the whole afternoon, and although they always tried to keep the dates secret, the men generally knew when they were gone.
Now and then, a fleeting glimpse of sunshine broke through the gloom that surrounded the lives of the philanthropists. The cheerless routine was occasionally brightened by a bit of harmless fun. Every so often, there was a funeral that took Misery and Crass away for the whole afternoon, and even though they always tried to keep the dates hush-hush, the men usually found out when they were gone.
Sometimes the people in whose houses they were working regaled them with tea, bread and butter, cake or other light refreshments, and occasionally even with beer—very different stuff from the petrifying liquid they bought at the Cricketers for twopence a pint. At other places, where the people of the house were not so generously disposed, the servants made up for it, and entertained them in a similar manner without the knowledge of their masters and mistresses. Even when the mistresses were too cunning to permit of this, they were seldom able to prevent the men from embracing the domestics, who for their part were quite often willing to be embraced; it was an agreeable episode that helped to vary the monotony of their lives, and there was no harm done.
Sometimes the people in the houses they worked in treated them to tea, bread and butter, cake, or other light snacks, and occasionally even beer—very different from the awful stuff they bought at the Cricketers for two pence a pint. In other places, where the homeowners weren’t as generous, the servants made up for it and entertained them in a similar way without their masters and mistresses knowing. Even when the mistresses were too clever to allow this, they rarely managed to stop the men from hugging the domestic staff, who were often quite willing to be hugged; it was a pleasant break that helped change the routine of their lives, and no harm was done.
It was rather hard lines on the philanthropists sometimes when they happened to be working in inhabited houses of the better sort. They always had to go in and out by the back way, generally through the kitchen, and the crackling and hissing of the poultry and the joints of meat roasting in the ovens, and the odours of fruit pies and tarts, and plum puddings and sage and onions, were simply maddening. In the back-yards of these houses there were usually huge stacks of empty beer, stout and wine bottles, and others that had contained whisky, brandy or champagne.
It was pretty tough on the philanthropists sometimes when they ended up working in nicer homes. They always had to come and go through the back entrance, usually through the kitchen, and the sounds of chickens and meat sizzling in the ovens, along with the scents of fruit pies, tarts, plum puddings, and sage and onions, were just maddening. In the backyards of these houses, there were usually big piles of empty beer, stout, and wine bottles, as well as those that had held whisky, brandy, or champagne.
The smells of the delicious viands that were being prepared in the kitchen often penetrated into the dismantled rooms that the philanthropists were renovating, sometimes just as they were eating their own wretched fare out of their dinner basket, and washing it down with draughts of the cold tea or the petrifying liquid they sometimes brought with them in bottles.
The smells of the tasty dishes being cooked in the kitchen often drifted into the broken-down rooms that the philanthropists were fixing up, sometimes just as they were eating their own terrible food from their dinner basket, washing it down with sips of cold tea or the dreadful liquid they sometimes brought in bottles.
Sometimes, as has been said, the people of the house used to send up some tea and bread and butter or cakes or other refreshments to the workmen, but whenever Hunter got to know of it being done he used to speak to the people about it and request that it be discontinued, as it caused the men to waste their time.
Sometimes, as mentioned, the people in the house would send up some tea and bread and butter or cakes or other snacks to the workers. However, whenever Hunter found out this was happening, he would talk to them about it and ask them to stop, as it caused the men to waste their time.
But the event of the year was the Beano, which took place on the last Saturday in August, after they had been paying in for about four months. The cost of the outing was to be five shillings a head, so this was the amount each man had to pay in, but it was expected that the total cost—the hire of the brakes and the cost of the dinner—would come out at a trifle less than the amount stated, and in that case the surplus would be shared out after the dinner. The amount of the share-out would be greater or less according to other circumstances, for it generally happened that apart from the subscriptions of the men, the Beano fund was swelled by charitable donations from several quarters, as will be seen later on.
But the event of the year was the Beano, which took place on the last Saturday in August, after they had been contributing for about four months. The cost of the outing was set at five shillings per person, so this was the amount each man had to chip in, but it was expected that the total cost—the hire of the buses and the dinner—would be slightly less than the stated amount, and in that case, the leftover would be divided after the dinner. The amount of the payout would vary depending on other circumstances, as it usually happened that besides the contributions from the men, the Beano fund was boosted by donations from several sources, as will be explained later on.
When the eventful day arrived, the hands, instead of working till one, were paid at twelve o’clock and rushed off home to have a wash and change.
When the big day finally came, the workers, instead of clocking out at one, got paid at noon and hurried home to wash up and change.
The brakes were to start from the “Cricketers” at one, but it was arranged, for the convenience of those who lived at Windley, that they were to be picked up at the Cross Roads at one-thirty.
The bus was supposed to leave from the “Cricketers” at one, but it was arranged, for the convenience of those living in Windley, that they would be picked up at the Cross Roads at one-thirty.
There were four brakes altogether—three large ones for the men and one small one for the accommodation of Mr Rushton and a few of his personal friends, Didlum, Grinder, Mr Toonarf, an architect and Mr Lettum, a house and estate Agent. One of the drivers was accompanied by a friend who carried a long coachman’s horn. This gentleman was not paid to come, but, being out of work, he thought that the men would be sure to stand him a few drinks and that they would probably make a collection for him in return for his services.
There were four coaches in total—three big ones for the men and one small one for Mr. Rushton and a few of his close friends: Didlum, Grinder, Mr. Toonarf, an architect, and Mr. Lettum, a realtor. One of the drivers had a friend with him who carried a long coachman’s horn. This guy wasn’t being paid to be there, but since he was out of work, he figured the men would definitely buy him a few drinks, and they’d likely pitch in some money for his help.
Most of the chaps were smoking twopenny cigars, and had one or two drinks with each other to try to cheer themselves up before they started, but all the same it was a melancholy procession that wended its way up the hill to Windley. To judge from the mournful expression on the long face of Misery, who sat on the box beside the driver of the first large brake, and the downcast appearance of the majority of the men, one might have thought that it was a funeral rather than a pleasure party, or that they were a contingent of lost souls being conducted to the banks of the Styx. The man who from time to time sounded the coachman’s horn might have passed as the angel sounding the last trump, and the fumes of the cigars were typical of the smoke of their torment, which ascendeth up for ever and ever.
Most of the guys were smoking cheap cigars and sharing a drink or two with each other to try to lighten the mood before they started, but it was still a gloomy group making its way up the hill to Windley. Judging by the sad look on Misery’s long face, who sat on the box next to the driver of the first big carriage, and the downcast expressions of most of the men, you might have thought it was a funeral instead of a fun outing, or that they were a group of lost souls being led to the banks of the Styx. The guy who occasionally blew the coachman’s horn could have been mistaken for the angel sounding the last trumpet, and the smoke from the cigars was like the smoke of their suffering, rising up forever and ever.
A brief halt was made at the Cross Roads to pick up several of the men, including Philpot, Harlow, Easton, Ned Dawson, Sawkins, Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk. The two last-named were now working for Smeariton and Leavit, but as they had been paying in from the first, they had elected to go to the Beano rather than have their money back. The Semi-drunk and one or two other habitual boozers were very shabby and down at heel, but the majority of the men were decently dressed. Some had taken their Sunday clothes out of pawn especially for the occasion. Others were arrayed in new suits which they were going to pay for at the rate of a shilling a week. Some had bought themselves second-hand suits, one or two were wearing their working clothes brushed and cleaned up, and some were wearing Sunday clothes that had not been taken out of pawn for the simple reason that the pawnbrokers would not take them in. These garments were in what might be called a transition stage—old-fashioned and shiny with wear, but yet too good to take for working in, even if their owners had been in a position to buy some others to take their place for best. Crass, Slyme and one or two of the single men, however, were howling swells, sporting stand-up collars and bowler hats of the latest type, in contradistinction to some of the others, who were wearing hats of antique patterns, and collars of various shapes with jagged edges. Harlow had on an old straw hat that his wife had cleaned up with oxalic acid, and Easton had carefully dyed the faded binding of his black bowler with ink. Their boots were the worst part of their attire: without counting Rushton and his friends, there were thirty-seven men altogether, including Nimrod, and there were not half a dozen pairs of really good boots amongst the whole crowd.
A quick stop was made at the Cross Roads to pick up several of the men, including Philpot, Harlow, Easton, Ned Dawson, Sawkins, Bill Bates, and the Semi-drunk. The last two were now working for Smeariton and Leavit, but since they had been contributing from the start, they chose to go to the Beano instead of getting their money back. The Semi-drunk and a few other regular drinkers looked quite shabby and down on their luck, but most of the men were dressed fairly well. Some had taken their Sunday clothes out of pawn just for this occasion. Others were showing off new suits that they were going to pay off at a rate of a shilling a week. Some had bought second-hand suits, a couple were in their work clothes that had been cleaned up, and some were wearing Sunday clothes that hadn’t been redeemed from pawn simply because the pawnbrokers wouldn’t take them in. These outfits were what you might call in a transition stage—old-fashioned and shiny from wear, but still too good to use for working in, even if their owners could afford to buy something else for special occasions. Crass, Slyme, and a few of the single guys, however, looked sharp, wearing stand-up collars and the latest bowler hats, unlike some others who sported very old-fashioned hats and collars with odd shapes and jagged edges. Harlow had on an old straw hat that his wife cleaned up with oxalic acid, and Easton had carefully dyed the faded band of his black bowler with ink. Their boots were the worst part of their outfits: not counting Rushton and his friends, there were thirty-seven men altogether, including Nimrod, and there weren’t even half a dozen pairs of really good boots among the whole group.
When all were seated a fresh start was made. The small brake, with Rushton, Didlum, Grinder and two or three other members of the Band, led the way. Next came the largest brake with Misery on the box. Beside the driver of the third brake was Payne, the foreman carpenter. Crass occupied a similar position of honour on the fourth brake, on the back step of which was perched the man with the coachman’s horn.
When everyone was seated, they set off again. The small carriage, with Rushton, Didlum, Grinder, and a couple of other members of the group, took the lead. Next was the largest carriage with Misery at the front. Beside the driver of the third carriage was Payne, the foreman carpenter. Crass had a similar prominent position on the fourth carriage, where the man with the coachman’s horn was perched on the back step.
Crass—who had engaged the brakes—had arranged with the drivers that the cortege should pass through the street where he and Easton lived, and as they went by Mrs Crass was standing at the door with the two young men lodgers, who waved their handkerchiefs and shouted greetings. A little further on Mrs Linden and Easton’s wife were standing at the door to see them go by. In fact, the notes of the coachman’s horn alarmed most of the inhabitants, who crowded to their windows and doors to gaze upon the dismal procession as it passed.
Crass—who had applied the brakes—had made arrangements with the drivers for the procession to go through the street where he and Easton lived. As they passed by, Mrs. Crass was at the door with the two young male lodgers, who waved their handkerchiefs and shouted cheers. A bit further down, Mrs. Linden and Easton's wife were standing at the door to watch them go by. In fact, the sound of the coachman's horn startled most of the residents, who rushed to their windows and doors to watch the gloomy procession as it moved along.
The mean streets of Windley were soon left far behind and they found themselves journeying along a sunlit, winding road, bordered with hedges of hawthorn, holly and briar, past rich, brown fields of standing corn, shimmering with gleams of gold, past apple-orchards where bending boughs were heavily loaded with mellow fruits exhaling fragrant odours, through the cool shades of lofty avenues of venerable oaks, whose overarched and interlacing branches formed a roof of green, gilt and illuminated with quivering spots and shafts of sunlight that filtered through the trembling leaves; over old mossy stone bridges, spanning limpid streams that duplicated the blue sky and the fleecy clouds; and then again, stretching away to the horizon on every side over more fields, some rich with harvest, others filled with drowsing cattle or with flocks of timid sheep that scampered away at the sound of the passing carriages. Several times they saw merry little companies of rabbits frisking gaily in and out of the hedges or in the fields beside the sheep and cattle. At intervals, away in the distance, nestling in the hollows or amid sheltering trees, groups of farm buildings and stacks of hay; and further on, the square ivy-clad tower of an ancient church, or perhaps a solitary windmill with its revolving sails alternately flashing and darkening in the rays of the sun. Past thatched wayside cottages whose inhabitants came out to wave their hands in friendly greeting. Past groups of sunburnt, golden-haired children who climbed on fences and five-barred gates, and waved their hats and cheered, or ran behind the brakes for the pennies the men threw down to them.
The busy streets of Windley were soon a distant memory as they traveled along a sunny, winding road lined with hawthorn, holly, and brambles, passing lush, brown fields of ripening corn shimmering with golden light, moving by apple orchards with heavy branches full of ripe fruit releasing sweet scents, through the cool shade of tall avenues of ancient oaks, whose arching and intertwined branches created a green canopy, flickering with spots and beams of sunlight filtering through the rustling leaves; over old, mossy stone bridges spanning clear streams that mirrored the blue sky and fluffy clouds; and then stretching away to the horizon on every side over more fields, some rich with harvest, others dotted with dozing cattle or timid sheep that would scatter at the sound of passing carriages. They often spotted cheerful little groups of rabbits darting in and out of the hedges or frolicking in the fields alongside the sheep and cattle. Occasionally, in the distance, nestled in the valleys or among protective trees, there were clusters of farm buildings and haystacks; further on, the square ivy-covered tower of an old church, or maybe a solitary windmill with its spinning sails alternately glinting and darkening in the sunlight. They passed thatched roadside cottages where the residents came out to wave friendly greetings. They saw groups of sun-kissed, golden-haired kids climbing on fences and five-barred gates, waving their hats and cheering, or running behind the carriages for the pennies the men tossed to them.
From time to time the men in the brakes made half-hearted attempts at singing, but it never came to much, because most of them were too hungry and miserable. They had not had time to take any dinner and would not have taken any even if they had the time, for they wished to reserve their appetites for the banquet at the Queen Elizabeth, which they expected to reach about half past three. However, they cheered up a little after the first halt—at the Blue Lion, where most of them got down and had a drink. Some of them, including the Semi-drunk, Ned Dawson, Bill Bates and Joe Philpot—had two or three drinks, and felt so much happier for them that, shortly after they started off again, sounds of melody were heard from the brake the three first named rode in—the one presided over by Crass—but it was not very successful, and even after the second halt—about five miles further on—at the Warrior’s Head, they found it impossible to sing with any heartiness. Fitful bursts of song arose from time to time from each of the brakes in turn, only to die mournfully away. It is not easy to sing on an empty stomach even if one has got a little beer in it; and so it was with most of them. They were not in a mood to sing, or to properly appreciate the scenes through which they were passing. They wanted their dinners, and that was the reason why this long ride, instead of being a pleasure, became after a while, a weary journey that seemed as if it were never coming to an end.
From time to time, the guys in the carriages made half-hearted attempts at singing, but it never really worked out, because most of them were too hungry and miserable. They hadn’t had time for dinner and wouldn’t have eaten even if they had, since they wanted to save their appetites for the feast at the Queen Elizabeth, which they expected to reach around 3:30. However, they perked up a bit after the first stop—at the Blue Lion, where most of them got off for a drink. Some of them, including the semi-drunken Ned Dawson, Bill Bates, and Joe Philpot, had two or three drinks and felt so much happier that shortly after they set off again, cheerful sounds came from the carriage that the first three named rode in—the one run by Crass—but it wasn’t very successful. Even after the second stop—about five miles later—at the Warrior’s Head, they found it impossible to sing with any enthusiasm. Random bursts of song came up now and then from each carriage, only to fade away sadly. It’s tough to sing on an empty stomach, even if you have a little beer in you, and that was the case for most of them. They weren’t in the mood to sing or really enjoy the sights they were passing by. They just wanted their dinners, and that’s why this long ride, instead of being enjoyable, turned into a tiring journey that felt like it would never end.
The next stop was at the Bird in Hand, a wayside public house that stood all by itself in a lonely hollow. The landlord was a fat, jolly-looking man, and there were several customers in the bar—men who looked like farm-labourers, but there were no other houses to be seen anywhere. This extraordinary circumstance exercised the minds of our travellers and formed the principal topic of conversation until they arrived at the Dew Drop Inn, about half an hour afterwards. The first brake, containing Rushton and his friends, passed on without stopping here. The occupants of the second brake, which was only a little way behind the first, were divided in opinion whether to stop or go on. Some shouted out to the driver to pull up, others ordered him to proceed, and more were undecided which course to pursue—a state of mind that was not shared by the coachman, who, knowing that if they stopped somebody or other would be sure to stand him a drink, had no difficulty whatever in coming to a decision, but drew rein at the inn, an example that was followed by both the other carriages as they drove up.
The next stop was at the Bird in Hand, a roadside pub that stood alone in a quiet hollow. The landlord was a plump, cheerful guy, and there were several customers in the bar—men who looked like farm workers, but there were no other houses in sight. This strange situation puzzled our travelers and became the main topic of conversation until they reached the Dew Drop Inn about half an hour later. The first carriage, carrying Rushton and his friends, passed by without stopping. The passengers of the second carriage, which was only a little bit behind the first, couldn’t agree on whether to stop or keep going. Some shouted for the driver to pull over, others told him to continue, and more were unsure about which way to go—a mindset not shared by the coachman, who knew that if they stopped, someone would definitely buy him a drink. He had no trouble deciding and brought the carriage to a halt at the inn, a move that both of the other carriages followed as they approached.
It was a very brief halt, not more than half the men getting down at all, and those who remained in the brakes grumbled so much at the delay that the others drank their beer as quickly as possible and the journey was resumed once more, almost in silence. No attempts at singing, no noisy laughter; they scarcely spoke to each other, but sat gloomily gazing out over the surrounding country.
It was a quick stop, with hardly half the guys getting out at all, and those who stayed in the seats complained so much about the wait that the others downed their beer as fast as they could, and the trip continued once again, almost silently. There were no attempts at singing, no loud laughter; they barely talked to one another and just sat there, gloomily staring out at the landscape.
Instructions had been given to the drivers not to stop again till they reached the Queen Elizabeth, and they therefore drove past the World Turned Upside Down without stopping, much to the chagrin of the landlord of that house, who stood at the door with a sickly smile upon his face. Some of those who knew him shouted out that they would give him a call on their way back, and with this he had to be content.
Instructions had been given to the drivers not to stop again until they reached the Queen Elizabeth, so they drove past the World Turned Upside Down without stopping, much to the annoyance of the landlord, who stood at the door with a forced smile on his face. Some of those who knew him shouted that they would visit him on their way back, and he had to be satisfied with that.
They reached the long-desired Queen Elizabeth at twenty minutes to four, and were immediately ushered into a large room where a round table and two long ones were set for dinner—and they were set in a manner worthy of the reputation of the house.
They arrived at the much-anticipated Queen Elizabeth at ten to four, and were quickly led into a large room where a round table and two long ones were prepared for dinner—and the setup was impressive, living up to the establishment's reputation.
The cloths that covered the tables and the serviettes, arranged fanwise in the drinking glasses, were literally as white as snow, and about a dozen knives and forks and spoons were laid for each person. Down the centre of the table glasses of delicious yellow custard and cut-glass dishes of glistening red and golden jelly alternated with vases of sweet-smelling flowers.
The tablecloths and napkins, arranged like fans in the glasses, were as white as snow, and each place setting featured about a dozen knives, forks, and spoons. In the center of the table, there were glasses of tasty yellow custard and cut-glass bowls of shiny red and golden jelly, alternating with vases of fragrant flowers.
The floor of the dining-room was covered with oilcloth—red flowers on a pale yellow ground; the pattern was worn off in places, but it was all very clean and shining. Whether one looked at the walls with the old-fashioned varnished oak paper, or at the glossy piano standing across the corner near the white-curtained window, at the shining oak chairs or through the open casement doors that led into the shady garden beyond, the dominating impression one received was that everything was exquisitely clean.
The dining room floor was covered with oilcloth—red flowers on a light yellow background; the pattern was faded in spots, but it was all very clean and shiny. Whether you looked at the walls with the vintage varnished oak wallpaper, or at the glossy piano tucked in the corner by the white-curtained window, at the polished oak chairs, or through the open casement doors leading into the shady garden outside, the overwhelming impression was that everything was beautifully clean.
The landlord announced that dinner would be served in ten minutes, and while they were waiting some of them indulged in a drink at the bar—just as an appetizer—whilst the others strolled in the garden or, by the landlord’s invitation, looked over the house. Amongst other places, they glanced into the kitchen, where the landlady was superintending the preparation of the feast, and in this place, with its whitewashed walls and red-tiled floor, as in every other part of the house, the same absolute cleanliness reigned supreme.
The landlord announced that dinner would be ready in ten minutes, and while they waited, some had a drink at the bar—just as a little appetizer—while others walked in the garden or, at the landlord’s invitation, checked out the house. They peeked into the kitchen, where the landlady was overseeing the meal preparation, and in this room, with its clean white walls and red-tiled floor, just like in every other part of the house, everything was impeccably clean.
“It’s a bit differint from the Royal Caff, where we got the sack, ain’t it?” remarked the Semi-drunk to Bill Bates as they made their way to the dining-room in response to the announcement that dinner was ready.
“It’s a bit different from the Royal Caff, where we got fired, right?” commented the Semi-drunk to Bill Bates as they headed to the dining room after the announcement that dinner was ready.
“Not arf!” replied Bill.
"Not at all!" replied Bill.
Rushton, with Didlum and Grinder and his other friends, sat at the round table near the piano. Hunter took the head of the longer of the other two tables and Crass the foot, and on either side of Crass were Bundy and Slyme, who had acted with him as the Committee who had arranged the Beano. Payne, the foreman carpenter, occupied the head of the other table.
Rushton, along with Didlum, Grinder, and his other friends, sat at the round table by the piano. Hunter took the head of the longer of the other two tables, with Crass at the foot. On either side of Crass were Bundy and Slyme, who had worked with him as the committee that organized the Beano. Payne, the foreman carpenter, sat at the head of the other table.
The dinner was all that could be desired; it was almost as good as the kind of dinner that is enjoyed every day by those persons who are too lazy to work but are cunning enough to make others work for them.
The dinner was everything one could want; it was almost as good as the kind of dinner that people enjoy every day if they're too lazy to work but smart enough to have others do the work for them.
There was soup, several entrees, roast beef, boiled mutton, roast turkey, roast goose, ham, cabbage, peas, beans and sweets galore, plum pudding, custard, jelly, fruit tarts, bread and cheese and as much beer or lemonade as they liked to pay for, the drinks being an extra; and afterwards the waiters brought in cups of coffee for those who desired it. Everything was up to the knocker, and although they were somewhat bewildered by the multitude of knives and forks, they all, with one or two exceptions, rose to the occasion and enjoyed themselves famously. The excellent decorum observed being marred only by one or two regrettable incidents. The first of these occurred almost as soon as they sat down, when Ned Dawson who, although a big strong fellow, was not able to stand much beer, not being used to it, was taken ill and had to be escorted from the room by his mate Bundy and another man. They left him somewhere outside and he came back again about ten minutes afterwards, much better but looking rather pale, and took his seat with the others.
There was soup, several main dishes, roast beef, boiled mutton, roast turkey, roast goose, ham, cabbage, peas, beans, and plenty of desserts—plum pudding, custard, jelly, fruit tarts, bread and cheese—along with as much beer or lemonade as they wanted to pay for, the drinks being extra; and afterwards, the waiters brought in cups of coffee for those who wanted it. Everything was top-notch, and even though they were a bit confused by the number of knives and forks, most of them rose to the occasion and had a great time, with only one or two exceptions. The excellent decorum was only slightly disturbed by a couple of unfortunate incidents. The first happened almost as soon as they sat down, when Ned Dawson, a big, strong guy who wasn't used to drinking much beer, got sick and had to be taken out of the room by his friend Bundy and another guy. They left him somewhere outside, and he came back about ten minutes later, feeling much better but looking a bit pale, and took his seat with the others.
The turkeys, the roast beef and the boiled mutton, the peas and beans and the cabbage, disappeared with astonishing rapidity, which was not to be wondered at, for they were all very hungry from the long drive, and nearly everyone made a point of having at least one helping of everything there was to be had. Some of them went in for two lots of soup. Then for the next course, boiled mutton and ham or turkey: then some roast beef and goose. Then a little more boiled mutton with a little roast beef. Each of the three boys devoured several times his own weight of everything, to say nothing of numerous bottles of lemonade and champagne ginger beer.
The turkeys, roast beef, and boiled mutton, along with the peas, beans, and cabbage, disappeared incredibly fast, which wasn't surprising since everyone was really hungry from the long drive, and almost everyone made sure to have at least one serving of everything available. Some even had two servings of soup. For the next course, they had boiled mutton and ham or turkey, followed by roast beef and goose. Then a bit more boiled mutton along with some roast beef. Each of the three boys ate several times their own weight in everything, not to mention the many bottles of lemonade and champagne ginger beer.
Crass frequently paused to mop the perspiration from his face and neck with his serviette. In fact everybody had a good time. There was enough and to spare of everything to eat, the beer was of the best, and all the time, amid the rattle of the crockery and the knives and forks, the proceedings were enlivened by many jests and flashes of wit that continuously kept the table in a roar.
Crass often stopped to wipe the sweat from his face and neck with his napkin. In fact, everyone was having a great time. There was more than enough food to go around, the beer was top-notch, and throughout the clatter of dishes and cutlery, the atmosphere was filled with jokes and witty banter that kept everyone laughing.
“Chuck us over another dollop of that there white stuff, Bob,” shouted the Semi-drunk to Crass, indicating the blancmange.
“Pass us another scoop of that white stuff, Bob,” shouted the Semi-drunk to Crass, pointing at the blancmange.
Crass reached out his hand and took hold of the dish containing the “white stuff”, but instead of passing it to the Semi-drunk, he proceeded to demolish it himself, gobbling it up quickly directly from the dish with a spoon.
Crass reached out and grabbed the dish with the "white stuff," but instead of handing it to the Semi-drunk, he started to devour it himself, quickly eating straight from the dish with a spoon.
“Why, you’re eating it all yerself, yer bleeder,” cried the Semi-drunk indignantly, as soon as he realized what was happening.
“Why are you eating it all by yourself, you greedy person?” shouted the Semi-drunk indignantly as soon as he realized what was happening.
“That’s all right, matey,” replied Crass affably as he deposited the empty dish on the table. “It don’t matter, there’s plenty more where it come from. Tell the landlord to bring in another lot.”
“That’s okay, buddy,” Crass said cheerfully as he set the empty dish on the table. “It doesn’t matter, there’s plenty more where that came from. Tell the landlord to bring in another batch.”
Upon being applied to, the landlord, who was assisted by his daughter, two other young women and two young men, brought in several more lots and so the Semi-drunk was appeased.
Upon being approached, the landlord, who was helped by his daughter, two other young women, and two young men, brought in several more lots, and that satisfied the Semi-drunk.
As for the plum-pudding—it was a fair knock-out; just like Christmas: but as Ned Dawson and Bill Bates had drunk all the sauce before the pudding was served, they all had to have their first helping without any. However, as the landlord brought in another lot shortly afterwards, that didn’t matter either.
As for the plum pudding—it was a real hit; just like Christmas. But since Ned Dawson and Bill Bates had finished all the sauce before the pudding was served, everyone had to take their first serving without any. However, since the landlord brought in another batch shortly after, it didn’t matter either.
As soon as dinner was over, Crass rose to make his statement as secretary. Thirty-seven men had paid five shillings each: that made nine pounds five shillings. The committee had decided that the three boys—the painters’ boy, the carpenters’ boy and the front shop boy—should be allowed to come half-price: that made it nine pounds twelve and six. In addition to paying the ordinary five-shilling subscription, Mr Rushton had given one pound ten towards the expenses. (Loud cheers.) And several other gentlemen had also given something towards it. Mr Sweater, of the Cave, one pound. (Applause.) Mr Grinder, ten shillings in addition to the five-shilling subscription. (Applause.) Mr Lettum, ten shillings, as well as the five-shilling subscription. (Applause.) Mr Didlum, ten shillings in addition to the five shillings. (Cheers.) Mr Toonarf, ten shillings as well as the five-shilling subscription. They had also written to some of the manufacturers who supplied the firm with materials, and asked them to give something: some of ’em had sent half a crown, some five shillings, some hadn’t answered at all, and two of ’em had written back to say that as things is cut so fine nowadays, they didn’t hardly get no profit on their stuff, so they couldn’t afford to give nothing; but out of all the firms they wrote to they managed to get thirty-two and sixpence altogether, making a grand total of seventeen pounds.
As soon as dinner wrapped up, Crass stood up to present his report as secretary. Thirty-seven men had each paid five shillings, totaling nine pounds five shillings. The committee decided that the three boys—the painters' boy, the carpenters' boy, and the front shop boy—would be allowed to pay half-price, bringing the total to nine pounds twelve and six. Aside from the usual five-shilling subscription, Mr. Rushton had contributed one pound ten towards the expenses. (Loud cheers.) Several other gentlemen also made contributions. Mr. Sweater from the Cave gave one pound. (Applause.) Mr. Grinder added ten shillings on top of the five-shilling subscription. (Applause.) Mr. Lettum donated ten shillings, in addition to the five-shilling subscription. (Applause.) Mr. Didlum contributed ten shillings beyond the five shillings. (Cheers.) Mr. Toonarf gave ten shillings as well as the five-shilling subscription. They also reached out to some manufacturers who supplied the firm with materials, asking for donations: some sent half a crown, some gave five shillings, some didn’t respond at all, and two wrote back saying that times are tough and they barely make any profit, so they couldn’t afford to donate anything; but from all the firms they contacted, they managed to collect thirty-two and sixpence in total, making a grand total of seventeen pounds.
As for the expenses, the dinner was two and six a head, and there was forty-five of them there, so that came to five pounds twelve and six. Then there was the hire of the brakes, also two and six a head, five pound twelve and six, which left a surplus of five pound fifteen to be shared out (applause), which came to three shillings each for the thirty-seven men, and one and fourpence for each of the boys. (Loud and prolonged cheers.)
As for the costs, the dinner was two shillings and sixpence each, and there were forty-five people there, so that totaled five pounds twelve shillings and sixpence. Then there was the rental of the brakes, also two shillings and sixpence each, adding another five pounds twelve shillings and sixpence, which left a surplus of five pounds fifteen shillings to be divided up (applause), amounting to three shillings each for the thirty-seven men, and one shilling and fourpence for each of the boys. (Loud and prolonged cheers.)
Crass, Slyme and Bundy now walked round the tables distributing the share-out, which was very welcome to everybody, especially those who had spent nearly all their money during the journey from Mugsborough, and when this ceremony was completed, Philpot moved a hearty vote of thanks to the committee for the manner in which they had carried out their duties, which was agreed to with acclamation. Then they made a collection for the waiters, and the three waitresses, which amounted to eleven shillings, for which the host returned thanks on behalf of the recipients, who were all smiles.
Crass, Slyme, and Bundy walked around the tables handing out the money, which everyone appreciated, especially those who had spent almost all their cash during the trip from Mugsborough. Once this was done, Philpot proposed a sincere vote of thanks to the committee for how well they had done their jobs, which everyone agreed to with enthusiasm. Then, they took up a collection for the waiters and the three waitresses, which totaled eleven shillings. The host thanked everyone on behalf of the recipients, who were all beaming.
Then Mr Rushton requested the landlord to serve drinks and cigars all round. Some had cigarettes and the teetotallers had lemonade or ginger beer. Those who did not smoke themselves took the cigar all the same and gave it to someone else who did. When all were supplied there suddenly arose loud cries of “Order!” and it was seen that Hunter was upon his feet.
Then Mr. Rushton asked the landlord to serve drinks and cigars for everyone. Some had cigarettes, and the non-drinkers had lemonade or ginger beer. Those who didn’t smoke took a cigar anyway and gave it to someone else who did. Once everyone was served, loud shouts of “Order!” broke out, and it became clear that Hunter was standing up.
As soon as silence was obtained, Misery said that he believed that everyone there present would agree with him, when he said that they should not let the occasion pass without drinking the ’ealth of their esteemed and respected employer, Mr Rushton. (Hear, hear.) Some of them had worked for Mr Rushton on and off for many years, and as far as THEY was concerned it was not necessary for him (Hunter) to say much in praise of Mr Rushton. (Hear, hear.) They knew Mr Rushton as well as he did himself and to know him was to esteem him. (Cheers.) As for the new hands, although they did not know Mr Rushton as well as the old hands did, he felt sure that they would agree that as no one could wish for a better master. (Loud applause.) He had much pleasure in asking them to drink Mr Rushton’s health. Everyone rose.
As soon as there was quiet, Misery said he was sure everyone there would agree with him that they shouldn’t let this moment go by without raising a glass to their valued employer, Mr. Rushton. (Hear, hear.) Some of them had worked for Mr. Rushton on and off for many years, and for them, it wasn’t necessary for him (Hunter) to say much in praise of Mr. Rushton. (Hear, hear.) They knew Mr. Rushton as well as he did, and to know him was to respect him. (Cheers.) As for the new employees, even though they didn’t know Mr. Rushton as well as the veterans did, he was confident they would all agree that nobody could ask for a better boss. (Loud applause.) He was pleased to invite them to drink to Mr. Rushton’s health. Everyone stood up.
“Musical honours, chaps,” shouted Crass, waving his glass and leading off the singing which was immediately joined in with great enthusiasm by most of the men, the Semi-drunk conducting the music with a table knife:
“Cheers to the music, guys,” shouted Crass, raising his glass and kicking off the singing, which was quickly joined by most of the men with great enthusiasm, while the Semi-drunk led the music with a table knife:
For he’s a jolly good fellow,
For he’s a jolly good fellow,
For he’s a jolly good fel-ell-O,
And so say all of us,
So ’ip, ’ip, ’ip, ’ooray!
So ’ip, ’ip, ’ip, ’ooray!
For he's a great guy,
For he's a great guy,
For he's a great guy,
And that's what we all say,
So hip, hip, hooray!
So hip, hip, hooray!
For he’s a jolly good fellow,
For ’e’s a jolly good fellow
For ’e’s a jolly good fel-ell-O,
And so say all of us.
For he’s a great guy,
For he’s a great guy,
For he’s a great gu-uy,
And so say all of us.
“Now three cheers!” shouted Crass, leading off.
“Now let’s give three cheers!” shouted Crass, starting it off.
Hip, hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray!
Everyone present drank Rushton’s health, or at any rate went through the motions of doing so, but during the roar of cheering and singing that preceded it several of the men stood with expressions of contempt or uneasiness upon their faces, silently watching the enthusiasts or looking at the ceiling or on the floor.
Everyone there raised a glass to Rushton’s health, or at least pretended to, but during the loud cheers and singing that came before, several of the men stood with looks of disdain or discomfort on their faces, silently observing the excited crowd or staring at the ceiling or the floor.
“I will say this much,” remarked the Semi-drunk as they all resumed their seats—he had had several drinks during dinner, besides those he had taken on the journey—“I will say this much, although I did have a little misunderstanding with Mr Hunter when I was workin’ at the Royal Caff, I must admit that this is the best firm that’s ever worked under me.”
“I’ll say this,” the semi-drunk said as they all sat back down—he had a few drinks during dinner, plus some on the way—“I’ll say this much, even though I did have a little misunderstanding with Mr. Hunter when I was working at the Royal Caff, I have to admit that this is the best company I’ve ever worked for.”
This statement caused a shout of laughter, which, however, died away as Mr Rushton rose to acknowledge the toast to his health. He said that he had now been in business for nearly sixteen years and this was—he believed—the eleventh outing he had had the pleasure of attending. During all that time the business had steadily progressed and had increased in volume from year to year, and he hoped and believed that the progress made in the past would be continued in the future. (Hear, hear.) Of course, he realized that the success of the business depended very largely upon the men as well as upon himself; he did his best in trying to get work for them, and it was necessary—if the business was to go on and prosper—that they should also do their best to get the work done when he had secured it for them. (Hear, hear.) The masters could not do without the men, and the men could not live without the masters. (Hear, hear.) It was a matter of division of labour: the men worked with their hands and the masters worked with their brains, and one was no use without the other. He hoped the good feeling which had hitherto existed between himself and his workmen would always continue, and he thanked them for the way in which they had responded to the toast of his health.
This statement led to a burst of laughter, but it faded away as Mr. Rushton stood up to acknowledge the toast to his health. He mentioned that he had been in business for nearly sixteen years and this was—he believed—the eleventh event he had the pleasure of attending. Throughout this time, the business had steadily progressed and grown in volume year after year, and he hoped and believed that the progress achieved in the past would continue in the future. (Hear, hear.) Of course, he understood that the success of the business depended greatly on the men as well as on himself; he did his best to find work for them, and it was necessary—if the business was to continue and thrive—that they also did their best to complete the work once he secured it for them. (Hear, hear.) The masters couldn’t do without the men, and the men couldn’t live without the masters. (Hear, hear.) It was a matter of division of labor: the men worked with their hands and the masters worked with their brains, and neither was useful without the other. He hoped the positive relationship that had existed between himself and his workers would always remain, and he thanked them for the way they responded to the toast of his health.
Loud cheers greeted the conclusion of this speech, and then Crass stood up and said that he begged to propose the health of Mr ’Unter. (Hear, hear.) He wasn’t going to make a long speech as he wasn’t much of a speaker. (Cries of “You’re all right,” “Go on,” etc.) But he felt sure as they would all hagree with him when he said that—next to Mr Rushton—there wasn’t no one the men had more respect and liking for than Mr ’Unter. (Cheers.) A few weeks ago when Mr ’Unter was laid up, many of them began to be afraid as they was going to lose ’im. He was sure that all the ’ands was glad to ’ave this hoppertunity of congratulating him on his recovery (Hear, hear) and of wishing him the best of ’ealth in the future and hoping as he would be spared to come to a good many more Beanos.
Loud cheers filled the room at the end of the speech, and then Crass stood up and said he wanted to propose a toast to Mr. ’Unter. (Hear, hear.) He wasn’t planning to give a long speech since he wasn’t much of a speaker. (Cries of “You’re all right,” “Go on,” etc.) But he was sure everyone would agree with him when he said that—after Mr. Rushton—there wasn’t anyone the men respected and liked more than Mr. ’Unter. (Cheers.) A few weeks ago, when Mr. ’Unter was laid up, many of them started to worry they might lose him. He was sure everyone was happy to have this opportunity to congratulate him on his recovery (Hear, hear) and to wish him good health in the future, hoping he would be around for many more Beanos.
Loud applause greeted the conclusion of Crass’s remarks, and once more the meeting burst into song:
Loud applause welcomed the end of Crass’s comments, and once again the meeting erupted into song:
For he’s a jolly good fellow
For he’s a jolly good fellow.
For he’s a jolly good fellow,
And so say all of us.
So ’ip, ’ip, ’ip, ’ooray!
So ’ip, ’ip, ’ip, ’ooray!
For he’s a great guy
For he’s a great guy.
For he’s a great guy,
And so says all of us.
So hip, hip, hip, hooray!
So hip, hip, hip, hooray!
When they had done cheering, Nimrod rose. His voice trembled a little as he thanked them for their kindness, and said that he hoped he deserved their goodwill. He could only say that as he was sure as he always tried to be fair and considerate to everyone. (Cheers.) He would now request the landlord to replenish their glasses. (Hear, hear.)
When they finished cheering, Nimrod stood up. His voice shook a bit as he thanked them for their kindness and said that he hoped he deserved their goodwill. He could only express that he always tried to be fair and considerate to everyone. (Cheers.) He would now ask the landlord to refill their glasses. (Hear, hear.)
As soon as the drinks were served, Nimrod again rose and said he wished to propose the healths of their visitors who had so kindly contributed to their expenses—Mr Lettum, Mr Didlum, Mr Toonarf and Mr Grinder. (Cheers.) They were very pleased and proud to see them there (Hear, hear), and he was sure the men would agree with him when he said that Messrs Lettum, Didlum, Toonarf and Grinder were jolly good fellows.
As soon as the drinks were served, Nimrod stood up again and said he wanted to propose a toast to their guests who had generously helped with their expenses—Mr. Lettum, Mr. Didlum, Mr. Toonarf, and Mr. Grinder. (Cheers.) They were really happy and proud to have them there (Hear, hear), and he was sure everyone would agree with him when he said that Messrs. Lettum, Didlum, Toonarf, and Grinder were great guys.
To judge from the manner in which they sang the chorus and cheered, it was quite evident that most of the hands did agree. When they left off, Grinder rose to reply on behalf of those included in the toast. He said that it gave them much pleasure to be there and take part in such pleasant proceedings and they were glad to think that they had been able to help to bring it about. It was very gratifying to see the good feeling that existed between Mr Rushton and his workmen, which was as it should be, because masters and men was really fellow workers—the masters did the brain work, the men the ’and work. They was both workers, and their interests was the same. He liked to see men doing their best for their master and knowing that their master was doing his best for them, that he was not only a master, but a friend. That was what he (Grinder) liked to see—master and men pulling together—doing their best, and realizing that their interests was identical. (Cheers.) If only all masters and men would do this they would find that everything would go on all right, there would be more work and less poverty. Let the men do their best for their masters, and the masters do their best for their men, and they would find that that was the true solution of the social problem, and not the silly nonsense that was talked by people what went about with red flags. (Cheers and laughter.) Most of those fellows were chaps who was too lazy to work for their livin’. (Hear, hear.) They could take it from him that, if ever the Socialists got the upper hand there would just be a few of the hartful dodgers who would get all the cream, and there would be nothing left but ’ard work for the rest. (Hear. hear.) That’s wot hall those hagitators was after: they wanted them (his hearers) to work and keep ’em in idleness. (Hear, hear.) On behalf of Mr Didlum, Mr Toonarf, Mr Lettum and himself, he thanked them for their good wishes, and hoped to be with them on a sim’ler occasion in the future.
To judge by how they sang the chorus and cheered, it was clear that most of the attendees agreed. When they finished, Grinder stood up to respond on behalf of those included in the toast. He mentioned that it brought them great joy to be there and participate in such enjoyable events, and they were happy to have played a part in making it happen. It was very satisfying to see the good relationship between Mr. Rushton and his workers, which was as it should be, because employers and employees were really coworkers—the employers handled the planning, and the employees did the hands-on work. They were both workers, and their interests were the same. He liked seeing employees putting in their best effort for their boss while knowing their boss was also doing his best for them, that he wasn't just an employer but a friend. That was what he (Grinder) appreciated—employers and employees working together, giving their best, and understanding that their interests aligned. (Cheers.) If only all employers and employees would act this way, everything would go smoothly; there would be more jobs and less poverty. Let the employees strive for their employers, and the employers strive for their employees, and they would discover that was the real solution to the social issue, not the meaningless chatter from those waving red flags. (Cheers and laughter.) Most of those people were just guys who were too lazy to work for a living. (Hear, hear.) He could assure them that if ever the Socialists gained power, it would only be a few crafty frauds who would benefit, leaving hard work for everyone else. (Hear, hear.) That’s what all those agitators wanted: they wanted the audience to work while they lounged around. (Hear, hear.) On behalf of Mr. Didlum, Mr. Toonarf, Mr. Lettum, and himself, he thanked them for their good wishes and looked forward to being with them on a similar occasion in the future.
Loud cheers greeted the termination of his speech, but it was obvious from some of the men’s faces that they resented Grinder’s remarks. These men ridiculed Socialism and regularly voted for the continuance of capitalism, and yet they were disgusted and angry with Grinder! There was also a small number of Socialists—not more than half a dozen altogether—who did not join in the applause. These men were all sitting at the end of the long table presided over by Payne. None of them had joined in the applause that greeted the speeches, and so far neither had they made any protest. Some of them turned very red as they listened to the concluding sentences of Grinder’s oration, and others laughed, but none of them said anything. They knew before they came that there was sure to be a lot of “Jolly good fellow” business and speechmaking, and they had agreed together beforehand to take no part one way or the other, and to refrain from openly dissenting from anything that might be said, but they had not anticipated anything quite so strong as this.
Loud cheers filled the room as his speech wrapped up, but it was clear from the expressions on some of the men's faces that they disapproved of Grinder's comments. These men mocked Socialism and consistently voted to maintain capitalism, yet they felt disgusted and angry with Grinder! There were also a few Socialists—not more than six in total—who didn’t join in the applause. They were all sitting at the end of the long table hosted by Payne. None of them clapped for the speeches, and up to this point, they hadn’t protested either. Some of them blushed deeply while listening to the final lines of Grinder’s speech, and others laughed, but none of them spoke up. They had known before arriving that there would be plenty of “Jolly good fellow” moments and speeches, and they had agreed in advance to remain neutral and not openly disagree with anything that was said, but they hadn’t expected anything quite as intense as this.
When Grinder sat down some of those who had applauded him began to jeer at the Socialists.
When Grinder sat down, some of the people who had clapped for him started to mock the Socialists.
“What have you got to say to that?” they shouted. “That’s up against yer!”
“What do you have to say to that?” they yelled. “That’s what you get!”
“They ain’t got nothing to say now.”
“They don’t have anything to say now.”
“Why don’t some of you get up and make a speech?”
“Why don’t some of you stand up and give a speech?”
This last appeared to be a very good idea to those Liberals and Tories who had not liked Grinder’s observations, so they all began to shout “Owen!” “Owen!” “Come on ’ere. Get up and make a speech!” “Be a man!” and so on. Several of those who had been loudest in applauding Grinder also joined in the demand that Owen should make a speech, because they were certain that Grinder and the other gentlemen would be able to dispose of all his arguments; but Owen and the other Socialists made no response except to laugh, so presently Crass tied a white handkerchief on a cane walking-stick that belonged to Mr Didlum, and stuck it in the vase of flowers that stood on the end of the table where the Socialist group were sitting.
This seemed like a great idea to the Liberals and Tories who weren't fans of Grinder’s comments, so they all started yelling, “Owen!” “Owen!” “Get up here and give a speech!” “Be a man!” and so on. Several of those who had cheered the loudest for Grinder also joined in asking Owen to speak because they were sure Grinder and the other guys could counter all his arguments; but Owen and the other Socialists just laughed and didn’t respond. Then Crass tied a white handkerchief to Mr. Didlum's walking stick and put it in the vase of flowers on the table where the Socialist group was sitting.
When the noise had in some measure ceased, Grinder again rose. “When I made the few remarks that I did, I didn’t know as there was any Socialists ’ere: I could tell from the look of you that most of you had more sense. At the same time I’m rather glad I said what I did, because it just shows you what sort of chaps these Socialists are. They’re pretty artful—they know when to talk and when to keep their mouths shut. What they like is to get hold of a few ignorant workin’ men in a workshop or a public house, and then they can talk by the mile—reg’ler shop lawyers, you know wot I mean—I’m right and everybody else is wrong. (Laughter.) You know the sort of thing I mean. When they finds theirselves in the company of edicated people wot knows a little more than they does theirselves, and who isn’t likely to be misled by a lot of claptrap, why then, mum’s the word. So next time you hears any of these shop lawyers’ arguments, you’ll know how much it’s worth.”
When the noise had quieted down a bit, Grinder stood up again. “When I made the few comments I did, I didn’t think there were any Socialists here: I could tell from the looks on your faces that most of you had more sense. At the same time, I’m actually glad I said what I did, because it shows you what these Socialists are really like. They’re pretty clever—they know when to speak and when to stay quiet. What they like is to snag a few clueless working men in a workshop or a pub, and then they can talk endlessly—regular shop lawyers, you know what I mean—I’m right and everyone else is wrong. (Laughter.) You know what I’m talking about. When they find themselves with educated people who know a bit more than they do and who aren’t likely to be fooled by a bunch of nonsense, well then, they zip it. So the next time you hear any of these shop lawyers’ arguments, you’ll know how much they’re worth.”
Most of the men were delighted with this speech, which was received with much laughing and knocking on the tables. They remarked to each other that Grinder was a smart man: he’d got the Socialists weighed up just about right—to an ounce.
Most of the guys were thrilled with this speech, which was met with a lot of laughter and banging on the tables. They told each other that Grinder was a smart guy: he had the Socialists figured out just perfectly—to the last detail.
Then, it was seen that Barrington was on his feet facing Grinder and a sudden, awe-filled silence fell.
Then, it was noticed that Barrington was standing up, facing Grinder, and a sudden, tense silence fell over the room.
“It may or may not be true,” began Barrington, “that Socialists always know when to speak and when to keep silent, but the present occasion hardly seemed a suitable one to discuss such subjects.
“It may or may not be true,” started Barrington, “that Socialists always know when to talk and when to stay quiet, but this situation hardly seems like the right time to bring up those topics.”
“We are here today as friends and want to forget our differences and enjoy ourselves for a few hours. But after what Mr Grinder has said I am quite ready to reply to him to the best of my ability.
“We're here today as friends and want to put our differences aside and have a good time for a few hours. But after what Mr. Grinder has said, I'm ready to respond to him as best as I can."
“The fact that I am a Socialist and that I am here today as one of Mr Rushton’s employees should be an answer to the charge that Socialists are too lazy to work for their living. And as to taking advantage of the ignorance and simplicity of working men and trying to mislead them with nonsensical claptrap, it would have been more to the point if Mr Grinder had taken some particular Socialist doctrine and had proved it to be untrue or misleading, instead of adopting the cowardly method of making vague general charges that he cannot substantiate. He would find it far more difficult to do that than it would be for a Socialist to show that most of what Mr Grinder himself has been telling us is nonsensical claptrap of the most misleading kind. He tells us that the employers work with their brains and the men with their hands. If it is true that no brains are required to do manual labour, why put idiots into imbecile asylums? Why not let them do some of the hand work for which no brains are required? As they are idiots, they would probably be willing to work for even less than the ideal ‘living wage’. If Mr Grinder had ever tried, he would know that manual workers have to concentrate their minds and their attention on their work or they would not be able to do it at all. His talk about employers being not only the masters but the ‘friends’ of their workmen is also mere claptrap because he knows as well as we do, that no matter how good or benevolent an employer may be, no matter how much he might desire to give his men good conditions, it is impossible for him to do so, because he has to compete against other employers who do not do that. It is the bad employer—the sweating, slave-driving employer—who sets the pace and the others have to adopt the same methods—very often against their inclinations—or they would not be able to compete with him. If any employer today were to resolve to pay his workmen not less wages than he would be able to live upon in comfort himself, that he would not require them to do more work in a day than he himself would like to perform every day of his own life, Mr Grinder knows as well as we do that such an employer would be bankrupt in a month; because he would not be able to get any work except by taking it at the same price as the sweaters and the slave-drivers.
"The fact that I'm a Socialist and that I'm here today as one of Mr. Rushton’s employees should be a response to the claim that Socialists are too lazy to earn a living. And regarding the accusation that we exploit the ignorance and simplicity of working men to mislead them with nonsense, it would have been more effective if Mr. Grinder had singled out a specific Socialist belief and demonstrated it to be false or misleading, rather than using the cowardly tactic of making unfounded general accusations. He would find it much harder to do that than it would be for a Socialist to show that much of what Mr. Grinder has been saying is misleading nonsense. He claims that employers use their brains while workers use their hands. If manual labor truly requires no brains, then why do we send idiots to mental institutions? Why not let them do some of the hand work that supposedly requires no intelligence? As they are considered idiots, they’d probably be willing to work for even less than the so-called 'living wage.' If Mr. Grinder had ever bothered to consider this, he would understand that manual workers need to focus their minds and attention on their tasks, or they wouldn't be able to do them at all. His assertion that employers are not only the masters but also the 'friends' of their workers is also just nonsense because he knows as well as we do that, no matter how good or well-meaning an employer might be, it’s impossible for him to offer decent conditions, as he has to compete against other employers who don’t do the same. It’s the bad employer—the one who exploits and mistreats his workers—who sets the standard, and others are forced to follow suit, often against their better judgment, or they risk going out of business. If any employer today were to decide to pay his workers a wage that he himself could live on comfortably, and if he wouldn't require them to work more hours in a day than he would be willing to work himself, Mr. Grinder knows as well as we do that such an employer would be bankrupt within a month; he wouldn't be able to secure any work unless he matched the rates of the exploitative employers."
“He also tells us that the interests of masters and men are identical; but if an employer has a contract, it is to his interest to get the work done as soon as possible; the sooner it is done the more profit he will make; but the more quickly it is done, the sooner will the men be out of employment. How then can it be true that their interests are identical?
“He also tells us that the interests of employers and employees are the same; but if an employer has a contract, it's in their interest to get the work done as quickly as possible; the faster it's done, the more profit they'll make; but the quicker it's finished, the sooner the workers will be out of a job. So how can it be true that their interests are the same?”
“Again, let us suppose that an employer is, say, thirty years of age when he commences business, and that he carries it on for twenty years. Let us assume that he employs forty men more or less regularly during that period and that the average age of these men is also thirty years at the time the employer commences business. At the end of the twenty years it usually happens that the employer has made enough money to enable him to live for the remainder of his life in ease and comfort. But what about the workman? All through those twenty years they have earned but a bare living wage and have had to endure such privations that those who are not already dead are broken in health.
“Again, let’s say an employer is around thirty years old when he starts his business, and he runs it for twenty years. Let’s assume he regularly employs about forty men during that time and that the average age of these men is also thirty when the employer begins. By the end of the twenty years, it often turns out that the employer has made enough money to comfortably live for the rest of his life. But what about the workers? Throughout those twenty years, they have earned just enough to get by and have had to face such hardships that those who aren’t already dead are struggling with their health.”
“In the case of the employer there had been twenty years of steady progress towards ease and leisure and independence. In the case of the majority of the men there were twenty years of deterioration, twenty years of steady, continuous and hopeless progress towards physical and mental inefficiency: towards the scrap-heap, the work-house, and premature death. What is it but false, misleading, nonsensical claptrap to say that their interests were identical with those of their employer?
“In the case of the employer, there had been twenty years of steady progress towards comfort, leisure, and independence. For most of the workers, there were twenty years of decline, twenty years of consistent, ongoing, and hopeless progress towards physical and mental inefficiency: towards the scrap heap, the workhouse, and premature death. What is it but false, misleading, nonsensical talk to say that their interests were the same as those of their employer?”
“Such talk as that is not likely to deceive any but children or fools. We are not children, but it is very evident that Mr Grinder thinks that we are fools.
“Talk like that is unlikely to fool anyone except kids or idiots. We're not kids, but it's clear that Mr. Grinder thinks we're idiots.”
“Occasionally it happens, through one or more of a hundred different circumstances over which he has no control, or through some error of judgement, that after many years of laborious mental work an employer is overtaken by misfortune, and finds himself no better and even worse off than when he started; but these are exceptional cases, and even if he becomes absolutely bankrupt he is no worse off than the majority of the workmen.
“Sometimes, due to countless different factors beyond his control, or because of a mistake in judgment, an employer can find himself facing misfortune after years of hard mental work, and ends up no better off or even worse than when he began. However, these are rare instances, and even if he goes completely bankrupt, he is still no worse off than most of the workers.”
“At the same time it is quite true that the real interests of employers and workmen are the same, but not in the sense that Mr Grinder would have us believe. Under the existing system of society but a very few people, no matter how well off they may be, can be certain that they or their children will not eventually come to want; and even those who think they are secure themselves, find their happiness diminished by the knowledge of the poverty and misery that surrounds them on every side.
“At the same time, it's true that the true interests of employers and workers are aligned, but not in the way Mr. Grinder suggests. In the current societal system, very few people, regardless of how well off they are, can be sure that they or their children won't eventually face hardship; and even those who believe they are secure find their happiness affected by the awareness of the poverty and misery that surrounds them.”
“In that sense only is it true that the interests of masters and men are identical, for it is to the interest of all, both rich and poor, to help to destroy a system that inflicts suffering upon the many and allows true happiness to none. It is to the interest of all to try and find a better way.”
“In that sense, it’s only true that the interests of employers and employees are the same because it benefits everyone, both rich and poor, to work towards dismantling a system that causes suffering for the majority and offers genuine happiness to none. It’s in everyone’s interest to seek out a better way.”
Here Crass jumped up and interrupted, shouting out that they hadn’t come there to listen to a lot of speechmaking—a remark that was greeted with unbounded applause by most of those present. Loud cries of “Hear, hear!” resounded through the room, and the Semi-drunk suggested that someone should sing a song.
Here Crass jumped up and interrupted, yelling that they hadn’t come there to listen to a bunch of speeches—a comment that was met with enthusiastic applause from most of the people present. Loud shouts of “Hear, hear!” echoed through the room, and the Semi-drunk suggested that someone should sing a song.
The men who had clamoured for a speech from Owen said nothing, and Mr Grinder, who had been feeling rather uncomfortable, was secretly very glad of the interruption.
The men who had been demanding a speech from Owen said nothing, and Mr. Grinder, who had been feeling quite uneasy, was secretly very relieved by the interruption.
The Semi-drunk’s suggestion that someone should sing a song was received with unqualified approbation by everybody, including Barrington and the other Socialists, who desired nothing better than that the time should be passed in a manner suitable to the occasion. The landlord’s daughter, a rosy girl of about twenty years of age, in a pink print dress, sat down at the piano, and the Semi-drunk, taking his place at the side of the instrument and facing the audience, sang the first song with appropriate gestures, the chorus being rendered enthusiastically by the full strength of the company, including Misery, who by this time was slightly drunk from drinking gin and ginger beer:
The Semi-drunk’s idea that someone should sing a song was met with complete approval by everyone, including Barrington and the other Socialists, who couldn't have asked for a better way to pass the time. The landlord’s daughter, a cheerful girl about twenty, dressed in a pink print dress, sat down at the piano. The Semi-drunk took his place next to the piano and faced the audience, singing the first song with fitting gestures, while everyone joined enthusiastically in the chorus, including Misery, who was a bit tipsy from drinking gin and ginger beer by then.
“Come, come, come an’ ’ave a drink with me
Down by the ole Bull and Bush.
Come, come, come an’ shake ’ands with me
Down by the ole Bull and Bush.
Wot cheer me little Germin band!
Fol the diddle di do!
Come an’ take ’old of me ’and
Come, come, come an’ ’ave a drink with me,
Down by the old Bull and Bush,
Bush! Bush!”
“Come on, come on, come have a drink with me
Down by the old Bull and Bush.
Come on, come on, come shake hands with me
Down by the old Bull and Bush.
What’s up, my little German band!
Fol the diddle di do!
Come and take hold of my hand
Come on, come on, come have a drink with me,
Down by the old Bull and Bush,
Bush! Bush!”
Protracted knocking on the tables greeted the end of the song, but as the Semi-drunk knew no other except odd verses and choruses, he called upon Crass for the next, and that gentleman accordingly sang “Work, Boys, Work” to the tune of “Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are marching”. As this song is the Marseillaise of the Tariff Reform Party, voicing as it does the highest ideals of the Tory workmen of this country, it was an unqualified success, for most of them were Conservatives.
Prolonged knocking on the tables marked the end of the song, but since the Semi-drunk only knew some random verses and choruses, he asked Crass for the next one, and that guy then sang “Work, Boys, Work” to the tune of “Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are marching.” Since this song is the anthem of the Tariff Reform Party, expressing the highest ideals of the Tory workers in this country, it was a definite hit, as most of them were Conservatives.
“Now I’m not a wealthy man,
But I lives upon a plan
Wot will render me as ’appy as a King;
An’ if you will allow, I’ll sing it to you now,
For time you know is always on the wing.
“Now I’m not a rich guy,
But I live by a plan
That will make me as happy as a King;
And if you’ll let me, I’ll sing it to you now,
Because time, you know, is always flying by.
Work, boys, work and be contented
So long as you’ve enough to buy a meal.
For if you will but try, you’ll be wealthy—bye and bye—
If you’ll only put yer shoulder to the wheel.”
Work, guys, work and be happy
As long as you’ve got enough to buy a meal.
Because if you just try, you’ll be rich—eventually—
If you’ll only put your shoulder to the wheel.”
“Altogether, boys,” shouted Grinder, who was a strong Tariff Reformer, and was delighted to see that most of the men were of the same way of thinking; and the “boys” roared out the chorus once more:
“Alright, everyone,” shouted Grinder, who was a strong supporter of Tariff Reform, and was thrilled to see that most of the guys shared his views; and the “boys” erupted into the chorus once again:
Work, boys, work and be contented
So long as you’ve enough to buy a meal
For if you will but try, you’ll be wealthy—bye and bye
If you’ll only put your shoulder to the wheel.
Work, guys, work and be happy
As long as you have enough to buy a meal
Because if you try, you’ll be rich—eventually
If you just put your shoulder to the wheel.
As they sang the words of this noble chorus the Tories seemed to become inspired with lofty enthusiasm. It is of course impossible to say for certain, but probably as they sang there arose before their exalted imaginations, a vision of the Past, and looking down the long vista of the years that were gone, they saw that from their childhood they had been years of poverty and joyless toil. They saw their fathers and mothers, weaned and broken with privation and excessive labour, sinking unhonoured into the welcome oblivion of the grave.
As they sang the lyrics to this powerful anthem, the Tories appeared to be filled with a grand enthusiasm. It’s hard to say for sure, but as they sang, they likely envisioned the past; looking back down the long stretch of years that had passed, they recognized that their lives had been filled with struggles and endless work without happiness since childhood. They saw their parents, worn down and exhausted from hardship and relentless labor, quietly fading into the comforting forgetfulness of death.
And then, as a change came over the spirit of their dream, they saw the Future, with their own children travelling along the same weary road to the same kind of goal.
And then, as a shift happened in the spirit of their dream, they saw the Future, with their own kids making the same exhausting journey toward the same kind of goal.
It is possible that visions of this character were conjured up in their minds by the singing, for the words of the song gave expression to their ideal of what human life should be. That was all they wanted—to be allowed to work like brutes for the benefit of other people. They did not want to be civilized themselves and they intended to take good care that the children they had brought into the world should never enjoy the benefits of civilization either. As they often said:
It’s possible that the singing sparked images of this character in their minds, as the lyrics reflected their ideal vision of what life should be. That was all they desired—to be permitted to toil like beasts for the sake of others. They didn’t want to be civilized themselves, and they planned to ensure that the children they had brought into the world would never experience the advantages of civilization either. As they often stated:
“Who and what are our children that they shouldn’t be made to work for their betters? They’re not Gentry’s children, are they? The good things of life was never meant for the likes of them. Let ’em work! That’s wot the likes of them was made for, and if we can only get Tariff Reform for ’em they will always be sure of plenty of it—not only Full Time, but Overtime! As for edication, travellin’ in furrin’ parts, an’ enjoying life an’ all sich things as that, they was never meant for the likes of our children—they’re meant for Gentry’s children! Our children is only like so much dirt compared with Gentry’s children! That’s wot the likes of us is made for—to Work for Gentry, so as they can ’ave plenty of time to enjoy theirselves; and the Gentry is made to ’ave a good time so as the likes of us can ’ave Plenty of Work.”
“Who are our children that they shouldn’t have to work for their betters? They’re not the Gentry’s kids, are they? Good things in life were never meant for them. Let them work! That’s what they’re for, and if we can get Tariff Reform for them, they’ll always have plenty—not just Full Time, but Overtime too! As for education, traveling abroad, and enjoying life and all those things, they were never meant for our children—they’re for the Gentry’s kids! Our children are nothing compared to the Gentry’s children! That’s what people like us are meant to do—to work for the Gentry so they can have plenty of time to enjoy themselves; and the Gentry are meant to have a good time so people like us can have plenty of work.”
There were several more verses, and by the time they had sung them all, the Tories were in a state of wild enthusiasm. Even Ned Dawson, who had fallen asleep with his head pillowed on his arms on the table, roused himself up at the end of each verse, and after having joined in the chorus, went to sleep again.
There were several more verses, and by the time they had sung them all, the Tories were extremely excited. Even Ned Dawson, who had dozed off with his head resting on his arms on the table, perked up at the end of each verse, sang along with the chorus, and then went back to sleep.
At the end of the song they gave three cheers for Tariff Reform and Plenty of Work, and then Crass, who, as the singer of the last song, had the right to call upon the next man, nominated Philpot, who received an ovation when he stood up, for he was a general favourite. He never did no harm to nobody, and he was always wiling to do anyone a good turn whenever he had the opportunity. Shouts of “Good old Joe” resounded through the room as he crossed over to the piano, and in response to numerous requests for “The old song” he began to sing “The Flower Show”:
At the end of the song, they cheered for Tariff Reform and Plenty of Work, and then Crass, who had sung the last song and had the right to pick the next performer, nominated Philpot. He received a warm welcome when he stood up because he was a crowd favorite. He never harmed anyone and was always willing to help out whenever he could. Cheers of “Good old Joe” echoed through the room as he walked over to the piano, and in response to many requests for “The old song,” he started to sing “The Flower Show”:
“Whilst walkin’ out the other night, not knowing where to go
I saw a bill upon a wall about a Flower Show.
So I thought the flowers I’d go and see to pass away the night.
And when I got into that Show it was a curious sight.
So with your kind intention and a little of your aid,
Tonight some flowers I’ll mention which I hope will never fade.”
“While walking out the other night, unsure of where to go
I saw a poster on a wall about a Flower Show.
So I figured I’d check out the flowers to pass the time.
When I arrived at the Show, it was an interesting sight.
With your kind help and a bit of support,
Tonight, I’ll mention some flowers that I hope will never fade.”
Omnes:
To-night some flowers I’ll mention which I hope will never fade.”
Omnes:
Tonight, I’ll talk about some flowers that I hope will never wilt.
There were several more verses, from which it appeared that the principal flowers in the Show were the Rose, the Thistle and the Shamrock.
There were several more verses, from which it seemed that the main flowers in the Show were the Rose, the Thistle, and the Shamrock.
When he had finished, the applause was so deafening and the demands for an encore so persistent that to satisfy them he sang another old favourite—“Won’t you buy my pretty flowers?”
When he finished, the applause was so loud and the requests for an encore so relentless that to please them, he sang another classic—“Won’t you buy my pretty flowers?”
“Ever coming, ever going,
Men and women hurry by,
Heedless of the tear-drops gleaming,
In her sad and wistful eye
How her little heart is sighing
Thro’ the cold and dreary hours,
Only listen to her crying,
‘Won’t you buy my pretty flowers?’”
“Always coming, always going,
Men and women rush past,
Ignoring the tear drops shining,
In her sad and longing eye.
How her little heart is aching
Through the cold and dreary hours,
Just listen to her calling,
‘Will you buy my pretty flowers?’”
When the last verse of this song had been sung five er six times, Philpot exercised his right of nominating the next singer, and called upon Dick Wantley, who with many suggestive gestures and grimaces sang “Put me amongst the girls”, and afterwards called upon Payne, the foreman carpenter, who gave “I’m the Marquis of Camberwell Green”.
When the last verse of this song had been sung five or six times, Philpot took his turn to pick the next singer and chose Dick Wantley, who, with lots of expressive gestures and funny faces, sang “Put me Among the Girls,” and then called on Payne, the foreman carpenter, who performed “I’m the Marquis of Camberwell Green.”
There was a lot of what music-hall artists call “business” attached to his song, and as he proceeded, Payne, who was ghastly pale and very nervous, went through a lot of galvanic motions and gestures, bowing and scraping and sliding about and flourishing his handkerchief in imitation of the courtly graces of the Marquis. During this performance the audience maintained an appalling silence, which so embarrassed Payne that before he was half-way through the song he had to stop because he could not remember the rest. However, to make up for this failure he sang another called “We all must die, like the fire in the grate”. This also was received in a very lukewarm manner by the crowd, some of whom laughed and others suggested that if he couldn’t sing any better than that, the sooner he was dead the better.
There was a lot of what music-hall performers refer to as "business" added to his song, and as he continued, Payne, who looked pale and was quite nervous, went through a lot of exaggerated motions and gestures, bowing, scraping, sliding around, and waving his handkerchief like a graceful nobleman. During this act, the audience stayed shockingly quiet, which made Payne so uncomfortable that by the time he was halfway through the song, he had to stop because he couldn't remember the rest. To make up for this, he sang another song called "We all must die, like the fire in the grate." This too was met with little enthusiasm from the crowd, with some laughing and others suggesting that if he couldn't sing any better than that, the sooner he was dead, the better.
This was followed by another Tory ballad, the chorus being as follows:
This was followed by another Tory song, the chorus being as follows:
“His clothes may be ragged, his hands may be soiled.
But where’s the disgrace if for bread he has toiled.
His “art is in the right place, deny it no one can
The backbone of Old England is the honest workin’ man.”
“His clothes might be torn, his hands might be dirty.
But where’s the shame if he’s worked hard for his bread?
His “art is in the right place, no one can deny it
The backbone of Old England is the honest working man.”
After a few more songs it was decided to adjourn to a field at the rear of the tavern to have a game of cricket. Sides were formed, Rushton, Didlum, Grinder, and the other gentlemen taking part just as if they were only common people, and while the game was in progress the rest played ring quoits or reclined on the grass watching the players, whilst the remainder amused themselves drinking beer and playing cards and shove-ha’penny in the bar parlour, or taking walks around the village sampling the beer at the other pubs, of which there were three.
After a few more songs, it was decided to move to a field behind the tavern for a game of cricket. Teams were formed, and Rushton, Didlum, Grinder, and the other gentlemen participated just like regular folks. While the game was underway, others played ring quoits or lounged on the grass watching the players, while the rest enjoyed drinking beer and playing cards or shove-ha’penny in the bar parlor, or took walks around the village checking out the beer at the other three pubs.
The time passed in this manner until seven o’clock, the hour at which it had been arranged to start on the return journey; but about a quarter of an hour before they set out an unpleasant incident occurred.
The time went by like this until seven o’clock, when they had planned to start the trip back; however, about fifteen minutes before they left, an unpleasant incident happened.
During the time that they were playing cricket a party of glee singers, consisting of four young girls and five men, three of whom were young fellows, the other two being rather elderly, possibly the fathers of some of the younger members of the party, came into the field and sang several part songs for their entertainment. Towards the close of the game most of the men had assembled in this field, and during a pause in the singing the musicians sent one of their number, a shy girl about eighteen years of age—who seemed as if she would rather that someone else had the task—amongst the crowd to make a collection. The girl was very nervous and blushed as she murmured her request, and held out a straw hat that evidently belonged to one of the male members of the glee party. A few of the men gave pennies, some refused or pretended not to see either the girl or the hat, others offered to give her some money for a kiss, but what caused the trouble was that two or three of those who had been drinking more than was good for them dropped the still burning ends of their cigars, all wet with saliva as they were, into the hat and Dick Wantley spit into it.
While they were playing cricket, a group of singers, made up of four young girls and five men—three of whom were young and two a bit older, likely the fathers of some of the younger ones—came into the field and performed several part songs for fun. Toward the end of the game, most of the men had gathered in the field, and during a break in the singing, the musicians sent one of their group, a shy girl around eighteen, who looked like she would have preferred someone else to take the task, into the crowd to collect donations. The girl was very nervous and blushed as she softly asked for contributions, holding out a straw hat that clearly belonged to one of the male glee members. A few of the men tossed in some coins, some ignored her or pretended not to see either her or the hat, and others suggested they would give her money for a kiss. The real trouble started when two or three men who had been drinking a little too much dropped their still-burning cigar ends, all wet with spit, into the hat, and Dick Wantley spat into it.
The girl hastily returned to her companions, and as she went some of the men who had witnessed the behaviour of those who had insulted her, advised them to make themselves scarce, as they stood a good chance of getting a thrashing from the girl’s friends. They said it would serve them dam’ well right if they did get a hammering.
The girl quickly went back to her friends, and as she did, some of the men who had seen how those guys treated her warned them to get lost, as they were likely to get beaten up by the girl’s friends. They said it would be totally deserved if they ended up getting beaten up.
Partly sobered by fear, the three culprits sneaked off and hid themselves, pale and trembling with terror, under the box seats of the three brakes. They had scarcely left when the men of the glee party came running up, furiously demanding to see those who had insulted the girl. As they could get no satisfactory answer, one of their number ran back and presently returned, bringing the girl with him, the other young women following a little way behind.
Partly sobered by fear, the three culprits sneaked away and hid, pale and trembling with terror, under the seats of the three carriages. They had barely left when the group from the glee party came rushing up, angrily demanding to see those who had insulted the girl. When they didn't get a satisfactory answer, one of them ran back and soon returned, bringing the girl with him, while the other young women followed a bit behind.
She said she could not see the men they were looking for, so they went down to the public house to see if they could find them there, some of Rushton’s men accompanying them and protesting their indignation.
She said she couldn’t see the men they were looking for, so they went down to the pub to see if they could find them there, with some of Rushton’s men joining them and expressing their anger.
The time passed quickly enough and by half past seven the brakes were loaded up again and a start made for the return journey.
The time flew by, and by 7:30, the brakes were loaded up again and the return trip began.
They called at all the taverns on the road, and by the time they reached the Blue Lion half of them were three sheets in the wind, and five or six were very drunk, including the driver of Crass’s brake and the man with the bugle. The latter was so far gone that they had to let him lie down in the bottom of the carriage amongst their feet, where he fell asleep, while the others amused themselves by blowing weird shrieks out of the horn.
They stopped at every tavern along the way, and by the time they got to the Blue Lion, half of them were pretty tipsy, and five or six were completely wasted, including the driver of Crass’s cart and the guy with the bugle. The latter was so far gone that they had to let him lie down in the bottom of the carriage among their feet, where he fell asleep while the others had fun blowing strange sounds out of the horn.
There was an automatic penny-in-the-slot piano at the Blue Lion and as that was the last house of the road they made a rather long stop there, playing hooks and rings, shove-ha’penny, drinking, singing, dancing and finally quarrelling.
There was a coin-operated piano at the Blue Lion, and since it was the last place on the road, they lingered there for quite a while, playing games like hooks and rings, shove-ha’penny, drinking, singing, dancing, and eventually getting into arguments.
Several of them seemed disposed to quarrel with Newman. All sorts of offensive remarks were made at him in his hearing. Once someone ostentatiously knocked his glass of lemonade over, and a little later someone else collided violently with him just as he was in the act of drinking, causing his lemonade to spill all over his clothes. The worst of it was that most of these rowdy ones were his fellow passengers in Crass’s brake, and there was not much chance of getting a seat in either of the other carriages, for they were overcrowded already.
Several of them seemed ready to pick a fight with Newman. All kinds of rude comments were directed at him within earshot. At one point, someone dramatically knocked over his glass of lemonade, and a little later, someone else bumped into him hard just as he was about to take a drink, spilling lemonade all over his clothes. The worst part was that most of these rowdy people were his fellow passengers in Crass’s carriage, and there wasn’t much chance of finding a seat in either of the other carriages since they were already overcrowded.
From the remarks he overheard from time to time, Newman guessed the reason of their hostility, and as their manner towards him grew more menacing, he became so nervous that he began to think of quietly sneaking off and walking the remainder of the way home by himself, unless he could get somebody in one of the other brakes to change seats with him.
From the comments he occasionally overheard, Newman figured out the reason for their hostility, and as their attitude toward him became more threatening, he grew so anxious that he started considering quietly slipping away and walking the rest of the way home alone, unless he could find someone in one of the other buses to switch seats with him.
Whilst these thoughts were agitating his mind, Dick Wantley suddenly shouted out that he was going to go for the dirty tyke who had offered to work under price last winter.
While these thoughts were disturbing his mind, Dick Wantley suddenly shouted that he was going to go after the dirty kid who had offered to work for less than the going rate last winter.
It was his fault that they were all working for sixpence halfpenny and he was going to wipe the floor with him. Some of his friends eagerly offered to assist, but others interposed, and for a time it looked as if there was going to be a free fight, the aggressors struggling hard to get at their inoffensive victim.
It was his fault that they were all working for practically nothing, and he was going to take him down. Some of his friends eagerly offered to help, but others stepped in, and for a moment it seemed like there was going to be a brawl, with the attackers working hard to get to their defenseless target.
Eventually, however, Newman found a seat in Misery’s brake, squatting on the floor with his back to the horses, thankful enough to be out of reach of the drunken savages, who were now roaring out ribald songs and startling the countryside, as they drove along, with unearthly blasts on the coach horn.
Eventually, however, Newman found a spot in Misery’s brake, sitting on the floor with his back to the horses, grateful to be out of reach of the drunken rowdies, who were now belting out crude songs and disturbing the countryside with loud blasts on the coach horn as they drove along.
Meantime, although none of them seemed to notice it, the brake was travelling at a furious rate, and swaying about from side to side in a very erratic manner. It would have been the last carriage, but things had got a bit mixed at the Blue Lion and, instead of bringing up the rear of the procession, it was now second, just behind the small vehicle containing Rushton and his friends.
Meantime, even though none of them seemed to notice, the brake was moving at a crazy speed, swaying from side to side in a really unpredictable way. It should have been the last carriage, but things got a bit mixed up at the Blue Lion, and instead of being at the back of the procession, it was now second, just behind the small vehicle with Rushton and his friends.
Crass several times reminded them that the other carriage was so near that Rushton must be able to hear every word that was said, and these repeated admonitions at length enraged the Semi-drunk, who shouted out that they didn’t care a b—r if he could hear. Who the bloody hell was he? To hell with him!
Crass several times pointed out that the other carriage was so close that Rushton must be able to hear everything being said, and these repeated warnings eventually annoyed the Semi-drunk, who shouted out that they didn’t care if he could hear. Who the hell was he? To hell with him!
“Damn Rushton, and you too!” cried Bill Bates, addressing Crass. “You’re only a dirty toe-rag! That’s all you are—a bloody rotter! That’s the only reason you gets put in charge of jobs—’cos you’re a good nigger-driver! You’re a bloody sight worse than Rushton or Misery either! Who was it started the one-man, one-room dodge, eh? Why, you, yer bleeder!”
“Damn Rushton, and you too!” shouted Bill Bates, directing his anger at Crass. “You’re just a filthy lowlife! That’s all you are—a total jerk! That’s the only reason you get put in charge of jobs—because you know how to push people around! You’re way worse than Rushton or Misery combined! Who was it that came up with the one-man, one-room scam, huh? It was you, you idiot!”
“Knock ’im orf ’is bleedin’ perch,” suggested Bundy.
“Knock him off his freaking perch,” suggested Bundy.
Everybody seemed to think this was a very good idea, but when the Semi-drunk attempted to rise for the purpose of carrying it out, he was thrown down by a sudden lurch of the carriage on the top of the prostrate figure of the bugle man and by the time the others had assisted him back to his seat they had forgotten all about their plan of getting rid of Crass.
Everybody thought this was a great idea, but when the Semi-drunk tried to get up to go through with it, a sudden jolt of the carriage knocked him down onto the fallen bugle man. By the time the others helped him back to his seat, they had completely forgotten about their plan to get rid of Crass.
Meantime the speed of the vehicle had increased to a fearful rate.
Meanwhile, the speed of the vehicle had picked up to a terrifying level.
Rushton and the other occupants of the little wagonette in front had been for some time shouting to them to moderate the pace of their horses, but as the driver of Crass’s brake was too drunk to understand what they said he took no notice, and they had no alternative but to increase their own speed to avoid being run down. The drunken driver now began to imagine that they were trying to race him, and became fired with the determination to pass them. It was a very narrow road, but there was just about room to do it, and he had sufficient confidence in his own skill with the ribbons to believe that he could get past in safety.
Rushton and the others in the little wagonette in front had been shouting for a while, asking them to slow down their horses. However, since the driver of Crass’s brake was too drunk to understand, he ignored them, leaving them no choice but to speed up to avoid getting hit. The drunk driver started to think they were trying to race him and became determined to overtake them. The road was quite narrow, but there was just enough space to attempt it, and he was confident in his driving skills to believe he could get past safely.
The terrified gesticulations and the shouts of Rushton’s party only served to infuriate him, because he imagined that they were jeering at him for not being able to overtake them. He stood up on the footboard and lashed the horses till they almost flew over the ground, while the carriage swayed and skidded in a fearful manner.
The frantic waving and shouting from Rushton’s group only made him more angry, as he thought they were mocking him for not being able to catch up. He got up on the footboard and whipped the horses until they almost flew across the ground, while the carriage swayed and skidded dangerously.
In front, the horses of Rushton’s conveyance were also galloping at top speed, the vehicle bounding and reeling from one side of the road to the other, whilst its terrified occupants, whose faces were blanched with apprehension, sat clinging to their seats and to each other, their eyes projecting from the sockets as they gazed back with terror at their pursuers, some of whom were encouraging the drunken driver with promises of quarts of beer, and urging on the horses with curses and yells.
In front, the horses pulling Rushton’s vehicle were also racing at full speed, the carriage bouncing and swaying from one side of the road to the other, while its terrified passengers, their faces pale with fear, clung to their seats and to each other, their eyes wide and bulging as they looked back in terror at their pursuers. Some of the pursuers were egging on the drunken driver with promises of pints of beer, and shouting curses and screams to spur the horses on.
Crass’s fat face was pallid with fear as he clung trembling to his seat. Another man, very drunk and oblivious of everything, was leaning over the side of the brake, spewing into the road, while the remainder, taking no interest in the race, amused themselves by singing—conducted by the Semi-drunk—as loud as they could roar:
Crass’s round face was pale with fear as he clung, shaking, to his seat. Another man, extremely drunk and unaware of anything going on, was leaning over the side of the brake, throwing up into the road, while the others, uninterested in the race, entertained themselves by singing—led by the Semi-drunk—as loudly as they could.
“Has anyone seen a Germin band,
Germin Band, Germin Band?
I’ve been lookin’ about,
Pom—Pom, Pom, Pom, Pom!
“Has anyone seen a Germin band,
Germin Band, Germin Band?
I’ve been searching around,
Pom—Pom, Pom, Pom, Pom!
“I’ve searched every pub, both near and far,
Near and far, near and far,
I want my Fritz,
What plays tiddley bits
On the big trombone!”
“I’ve looked in every pub, both nearby and far away,
Nearby and far away, nearby and far away,
I want my Fritz,
Who plays little tunes
On the big trombone!”
The other two brakes had fallen far behind. The one presided over by Hunter contained a mournful crew. Nimrod himself, from the effects of numerous drinks of ginger beer with secret dashes of gin in it, had become at length crying drunk, and sat weeping in gloomy silence beside the driver, a picture of lachrymose misery and but dimly conscious of his surroundings, and Slyme, who rode with Hunter because he was a fellow member of the Shining Light Chapel. Then there was another paperhanger—an unhappy wretch who was afflicted with religious mania; he had brought a lot of tracts with him which he had distributed to the other men, to the villagers of Tubberton and to anybody else who would take them.
The other two groups had fallen way behind. The one led by Hunter had a mournful bunch. Nimrod himself, thanks to too many ginger beers with secret shots of gin, had become utterly drunk and sat next to the driver, sobbing in gloomy silence, a picture of miserable despair and barely aware of his surroundings. Slyme rode with Hunter because he was a fellow member of the Shining Light Chapel. Then there was another paperhanger—an unhappy soul who was obsessed with religious fervor; he had brought a bunch of tracts with him that he handed out to the other men, the villagers of Tubberton, and anyone else who would take them.
Most of the other men who rode in Nimrod’s brake were of the “religious” working man type. Ignorant, shallow-pated dolts, without as much intellectuality as an average cat. Attendants at various PSAs and “Church Mission Halls” who went every Sunday afternoon to be lectured on their duty to their betters and to have their minds—save the mark!—addled and stultified by such persons as Rushton, Sweater, Didlum and Grinder, not to mention such mental specialists as the holy reverend Belchers and Boshers, and such persons as John Starr.
Most of the other guys who rode in Nimrod's brake were the "religious" working-class type. Ignorant, shallow-headed fools, lacking the smarts of an average cat. They were regulars at various PSAs and "Church Mission Halls," going every Sunday afternoon to be lectured on their duty to their superiors and to have their minds—God help us!—muddled and dumbed down by individuals like Rushton, Sweater, Didlum, and Grinder, not to mention the so-called mental experts like the holy reverend Belchers and Boshers, along with people like John Starr.
At these meetings none of the “respectable” working men were allowed to ask any questions, or to object to, or find fault with anything that was said, or to argue, or discuss, or criticize. They had to sit there like a lot of children while they were lectured and preached at and patronized. Even as sheep before their shearers are dumb, so they were not permitted to open their mouths. For that matter they did not wish to be allowed to ask any questions, or to discuss anything. They would not have been able to. They sat there and listened to what was said, but they had but a very hazy conception of what it was all about.
At these meetings, none of the "respectable" working men were allowed to ask questions, raise objections, or criticize anything that was said, nor were they allowed to argue or discuss. They had to sit there like children while they were lectured, preached at, and treated condescendingly. Just like sheep are silent before their shearers, they weren’t permitted to speak. In fact, they didn't even want the chance to ask questions or discuss anything. They wouldn't have been able to anyway. They sat there and listened, but they had only a vague idea of what it was all about.
Most of them belonged to these PSAs merely for the sake of the loaves and fishes. Every now and then they were awarded prizes—Self-help by Smiles, and other books suitable for perusal by persons suffering from almost complete obliteration of the mental faculties. Besides other benefits there was usually a Christmas Club attached to the “PSA” or “Mission” and the things were sold to the members slightly below cost as a reward for their servility.
Most of them were part of these PSAs just for the benefits. Occasionally, they received prizes—Self-help books by Smiles and other reads that were suitable for people with nearly nonexistent mental faculties. In addition to that, there was usually a Christmas Club linked to the “PSA” or “Mission,” and items were sold to members at a slightly reduced price as a reward for their submission.
They were for the most part tame, broken-spirited, poor wretches who contentedly resigned themselves to a life of miserable toil and poverty, and with callous indifference abandoned their offspring to the same fate. Compared with such as these, the savages of New Guinea or the Red Indians are immensely higher in the scale of manhood. They are free! They call no man master; and if they do not enjoy the benefits of science and civilization, neither do they toil to create those things for the benefit of others. And as for their children—most of those savages would rather knock them on the head with a tomahawk than allow them to grow up to be half-starved drudges for other men.
They were mostly tame, broken-spirited, poor souls who willingly accepted a life of hard work and poverty, and with complete disregard, abandoned their children to the same fate. Compared to them, the tribes of New Guinea or the Native Americans are far superior in terms of humanity. They are free! They answer to no one; and while they may not benefit from science and civilization, they also don’t labor to create those things for others’ gain. As for their kids—most of those tribes would rather hit them over the head with a club than let them grow up to be half-starved laborers for someone else.
But these were not free: their servile lives were spent in grovelling and cringing and toiling and running about like little dogs at the behest of their numerous masters. And as for the benefits of science and civilization, their only share was to work and help to make them, and then to watch other men enjoy them. And all the time they were tame and quiet and content and said, “The likes of us can’t expect to ’ave nothing better, and as for our children wot’s been good enough for us is good enough for the likes of them.”
But these people weren't free: their lives were spent groveling, cringing, toiling, and running around like little dogs for their many masters. As for the benefits of science and civilization, all they got was to work and help create them, only to watch others enjoy them. They were always tame, quiet, and content, saying, “People like us can't expect anything better, and what's been good enough for us is good enough for our children.”
But although they were so religious and respectable and so contented to be robbed on a large scale, yet in small matters, in the commonplace and petty affairs of their everyday existence, most of these men were acutely alive to what their enfeebled minds conceived to be their own selfish interests, and they possessed a large share of that singular cunning which characterizes this form of dementia.
But even though they were very religious, respectable, and accepting of being robbed on a large scale, in small matters—like the ordinary and trivial aspects of their daily lives—most of these men were highly aware of what they believed to be their own selfish interests, and they displayed a significant amount of that peculiar cunning that often accompanies this kind of mental weakness.
That was why they had chosen to ride in Nimrod’s brake—because they wished to chum up with him as much as possible, in order to increase their chances of being kept on in preference to others who were not so respectable.
That’s why they decided to ride in Nimrod’s brake—because they wanted to get to know him as much as they could, to boost their chances of being kept on instead of others who weren’t as respectable.
Some of these poor creatures had very large heads, but a close examination would have shown that the size was due to the extraordinary thickness of the bones. The cavity of the skull was not so large as the outward appearance of the head would have led a casual observer to suppose, and even in those instances where the brain was of a fair size, it was of inferior quality, being coarse in texture and to a great extent composed of fat.
Some of these unfortunate beings had very large heads, but a closer look would reveal that the size was due to the unusually thick bones. The space inside the skull wasn’t as big as a casual observer might think just by looking at the head, and even in cases where the brain was reasonably sized, it was of poor quality, being rough in texture and mostly made up of fat.
Although most of them were regular attendants at some place of so-called worship, they were not all teetotallers, and some of them were now in different stages of intoxication, not because they had had a great deal to drink, but because—being usually abstemious—it did not take very much to make them drunk.
Although most of them regularly attended some place of supposed worship, they weren't all sober, and some of them were at various levels of drunkenness, not because they had consumed a lot, but because—being usually temperate—it didn't take much for them to get intoxicated.
From time to time this miserable crew tried to enliven the journey by singing, but as most of them only knew odd choruses it did not come to much. As for the few who did happen to know all the words of a song, they either had no voices or were not inclined to sing. The most successful contribution was that of the religious maniac, who sang several hymns, the choruses being joined in by everybody, both drunk and sober.
From time to time, this miserable group tried to liven up the journey by singing, but since most of them only knew random choruses, it didn't amount to much. As for the few who did know all the words to a song, they either had no voices or just didn't feel like singing. The most successful contribution came from the religious fanatic, who sang several hymns, with everyone—both drunk and sober—joining in the choruses.
The strains of these hymns, wafted back through the balmy air to the last coach, were the cause of much hilarity to its occupants who also sang the choruses. As they had all been brought up under “Christian” influences and educated in “Christian” schools, they all knew the words: “Work, for the night is coming”, “Turn poor Sinner and escape Eternal Fire”, “Pull for the Shore” and “Where is my Wandering Boy?”
The tunes of these hymns floated back through the warm air to the last coach, causing lots of laughter among its passengers, who joined in singing the choruses. Since they had all been raised with “Christian” influences and educated in “Christian” schools, they knew the words: “Work, for the night is coming,” “Turn, poor sinner, and escape eternal fire,” “Pull for the shore,” and “Where is my wandering boy?”
The last reminded Harlow of a song he knew nearly all the words of, “Take the news to Mother”, the singing of which was much appreciated by all present and when it was finished they sang it all over again, Philpot being so affected that he actually shed tears; and Easton confided to Owen that there was no getting away from the fact that a boy’s best friend is his mother.
The last reminded Harlow of a song he knew almost all the lyrics to, “Take the news to Mother.” Everyone present really enjoyed the singing, and after it finished, they sang it again. Philpot was so moved that he actually cried; and Easton told Owen that there's no denying a boy’s best friend is his mother.
In this last carriage, as in the other two, there were several men who were more or less intoxicated and for the same reason—because not being used to taking much liquor, the few extra glasses they had drunk had got into their heads. They were as sober a lot of fellows as need be at ordinary times, and they had flocked together in this brake because they were all of about the same character—not tame, contented imbeciles like most of those in Misery’s carnage, but men something like Harlow, who, although dissatisfied with their condition, doggedly continued the hopeless, weary struggle against their fate.
In this last carriage, just like in the other two, there were several guys who were more or less drunk, and for the same reason—since they weren’t used to drinking much, the few extra drinks they had consumed had gone to their heads. Usually, they were pretty sober guys, and they had gathered in this carriage because they were all somewhat alike—not submissive, content fools like most of those in Misery’s wreckage, but men more like Harlow, who, although unhappy with their situation, stubbornly kept up the endless, tiring fight against their fate.
They were not teetotallers and they never went to either church or chapel, but they spent little in drink or on any form of enjoyment—an occasional glass of beer or a still rarer visit to a music-hall and now and then an outing more or less similar to this being the sum total of their pleasures.
They didn't avoid alcohol and never attended church or chapel, but they rarely spent money on drinks or any kind of entertainment—maybe an occasional beer, a very rare trip to a music hall, and sometimes an outing like this were the extent of their enjoyment.
These four brakes might fitly be regarded as so many travelling lunatic asylums, the inmates of each exhibiting different degrees and forms of mental disorder.
These four brakes can be seen as traveling mental hospitals, with the people in each one displaying different levels and types of mental illness.
The occupants of the first—Rushton, Didlum and Co.—might be classed as criminal lunatics who injured others as well as themselves. In a properly constituted system of society such men as these would be regarded as a danger to the community, and would be placed under such restraint as would effectually prevent them from harming themselves or others. These wretches had abandoned every thought and thing that tends to the elevation of humanity. They had given up everything that makes life good and beautiful, in order to carry on a mad struggle to acquire money which they would never be sufficiently cultured to properly enjoy. Deaf and blind to every other consideration, to this end they had degraded their intellects by concentrating them upon the minutest details of expense and profit, and for their reward they raked in their harvest of muck and lucre along with the hatred and curses of those they injured in the process. They knew that the money they accumulated was foul with the sweat of their brother men, and wet with the tears of little children, but they were deaf and blind and callous to the consequences of their greed. Devoid of every ennobling thought or aspiration, they grovelled on the filthy ground, tearing up the flowers to get at the worms.
The people in the first group—Rushton, Didlum and Co.—could be seen as criminal lunatics who harmed not only others but also themselves. In a well-structured society, these individuals would be considered a threat to the community and would be kept under control to make sure they couldn't hurt themselves or anyone else. These miserable souls had given up all thoughts and things that uplift humanity. They sacrificed everything that makes life good and beautiful to pursue a crazy attempt to acquire money that they would never have the sophistication to enjoy properly. Ignoring everything else, they lowered their intellects by fixating on the tiniest details of expenses and profits, and in return, they collected their dirty earnings along with the hatred and curses of those they harmed in the process. They were aware that the money they accumulated was tainted with the sweat of their fellow humans and soaked with the tears of little children, but they were indifferent and insensitive to the consequences of their greed. Lacking any noble thoughts or dreams, they crawled on the filthy ground, tearing up flowers to reach the worms.
In the coach presided over by Crass, Bill Bates, the Semi-drunk and the other two or three habitual boozers were all men who had been driven mad by their environment. At one time most of them had been fellows like Harlow, working early and late whenever they got the chance, only to see their earnings swallowed up in a few minutes every Saturday by the landlord and all the other host of harpies and profitmongers, who were waiting to demand it as soon as it was earned. In the years that were gone, most of these men used to take all their money home religiously every Saturday and give it to the “old girl” for the house, and then, lo and behold, in a moment, yea, even in the twinkling of an eye, it was all gone! Melted away like snow in the sun! and nothing to show for it except an insufficiency of the bare necessaries of life! But after a time they had become heartbroken and sick and tired of that sort of thing. They hankered after a little pleasure, a little excitement, a little fun, and they found that it was possible to buy something like those in quart pots at the pub. They knew they were not the genuine articles, but they were better than nothing at all, and so they gave up the practice of giving all their money to the old girl to give to the landlord and the other harpies, and bought beer with some of it instead; and after a time their minds became so disordered from drinking so much of this beer, that they cared nothing whether the rent was paid or not. They cared but little whether the old girl and the children had food or clothes. They said, “To hell with everything and everyone,” and they cared for nothing so long as they could get plenty of beer.
In the coach led by Crass, Bill Bates, the semi-drunk, and two or three other regular drinkers were all men driven mad by their surroundings. At one point, most of them had been like Harlow, working long hours whenever they could, only to see their paychecks vanish within minutes every Saturday as their landlord and a slew of other profiteers pounced on it as soon as it was earned. Back in the day, these men would religiously take all their earnings home every Saturday to give to the “old girl” for the household, and then, just like that, in the blink of an eye, it was all gone! Disappeared like snow in the sun! And there was nothing to show for it except a lack of the basic necessities of life! But eventually, they became heartbroken and fed up with that situation. They craved a bit of enjoyment, some excitement, some fun, and they discovered that they could buy something like excitement in pints at the pub. They knew it wasn’t the real thing, but it was better than nothing at all, so they stopped giving all their money to the “old girl” to pass on to the landlord and the other parasites, and instead bought beer with some of it; over time, their minds became so clouded from all the drinking that they didn’t care whether the rent was paid or not. They didn’t worry much about whether the “old girl” and the kids had food or clothes. They thought, “To hell with everything and everyone,” and didn’t care about anything as long as they could get plenty of beer.
The occupants of Nimrod’s coach have already been described and most of them may correctly be classed as being similar to cretin idiots of the third degree—very cunning and selfish, and able to read and write, but with very little understanding of what they read except on the most common topics.
The people in Nimrod’s coach have already been described, and most of them can accurately be categorized as resembling third-degree morons—very sly and selfish, able to read and write, but with very little comprehension of what they read, except on the most basic subjects.
As for those who rode with Harlow in the last coach, most of them, as has been already intimated, were men of similar character to himself. The greater number of them fairly good workmen and—unlike the boozers in Crass’s coach—not yet quite heartbroken, but still continuing the hopeless struggle against poverty. These differed from Nimrod’s lot inasmuch as they were not content. They were always complaining of their wretched circumstances, and found a certain kind of pleasure in listening to the tirades of the Socialists against the existing social conditions, and professing their concurrence with many of the sentiments expressed, and a desire to bring about a better state of affairs.
As for those who rode with Harlow in the last coach, most of them, as mentioned before, were men of a similar character to his. The majority were decent workers and—unlike the drinkers in Crass’s coach—not completely defeated, but still engaged in the endless battle against poverty. They were different from Nimrod’s group in that they were not satisfied. They constantly complained about their miserable situations and found a certain kind of pleasure in listening to the Socialists rant about the current social conditions, showing agreement with many of the views expressed and wanting to create a better situation.
Most of them appeared to be quite sane, being able to converse intelligently on any ordinary subject without discovering any symptoms of mental disorder, and it was not until the topic of Parliamentary elections was mentioned that evidence of their insanity was forthcoming. It then almost invariably appeared that they were subject to the most extraordinary hallucinations and extravagant delusions, the commonest being that the best thing that the working people could do to bring about an improvement in their condition, was to continue to elect their Liberal and Tory employers to make laws for and to rule over them! At such times, if anyone ventured to point out to them that that was what they had been doing all their lives, and referred them to the manifold evidences that met them wherever they turned their eyes of its folly and futility, they were generally immediately seized with a paroxysm of the most furious mania, and were with difficulty prevented from savagely assaulting those who differed from them.
Most of them seemed pretty sane, able to have intelligent conversations on ordinary topics without showing any signs of mental illness. It wasn't until someone brought up Parliamentary elections that their insanity became clear. It usually turned out that they were experiencing the most bizarre hallucinations and wild delusions, the most common being that the best thing working people could do to improve their situation was to keep electing their Liberal and Tory employers to make laws for them and govern them! At these moments, if anyone dared to point out that this was exactly what they had been doing their entire lives and referenced the numerous signs of its foolishness and futility around them, they would often erupt into a fit of rage and were barely held back from attacking those who disagreed with them.
They were usually found in a similar condition of maniacal excitement for some time preceding and during a Parliamentary election, but afterwards they usually manifested that modification of insanity which is called melancholia. In fact they alternated between these two forms of the disease. During elections, the highest state of exalted mania; and at ordinary times—presumably as a result of reading about the proceedings in Parliament of the persons whom they had elected—in a state of melancholic depression, in their case an instance of hope deferred making the heart sick.
They were often seen in a state of wild excitement for a while before and during a Parliamentary election, but afterwards they typically showed the more subdued form of insanity known as melancholia. In fact, they alternated between these two states of mind. During elections, they experienced the peak of intense mania; at other times—likely due to reading about the actions of the representatives they had elected—they fell into a state of melancholic depression, a clear example of hope deferred making the heart sick.
This condition occasionally proved to be the stage of transition into yet another modification of the disease—that known as dipsomania, the phase exhibited by Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk.
This condition sometimes turned out to be a step towards yet another form of the disease—known as dipsomania, the phase shown by Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk.
Yet another form of insanity was that shown by the Socialists. Like most of their fellow passengers in the last coach, the majority of these individuals appeared to be of perfectly sound mind. Upon entering into conversation with them one found that they reasoned correctly and even brilliantly. They had divided their favourite subject into three parts. First; an exact definition of the condition known as Poverty. Secondly; a knowledge of the causes of Poverty; and thirdly, a rational plan for the cure of Poverty. Those who were opposed to them always failed to refute their arguments, and feared, and nearly always refused, to meet them in fair fight—in open debate—preferring to use the cowardly and despicable weapons of slander and misrepresentation. The fact that these Socialists never encountered their opponents except to defeat them, was a powerful testimony to the accuracy of their reasonings and the correctness of their conclusions—and yet they were undoubtedly mad. One might converse with them for an indefinite time on the three divisions of their subject without eliciting any proofs of insanity, but directly one inquired what means they proposed to employ in order to bring about the adoption of their plan, they replied that they hoped to do so by reasoning with the others!
Yet another kind of madness was exhibited by the Socialists. Like most of their fellow travelers in the last carriage, most of these individuals seemed perfectly sane. When you engaged them in conversation, you found that they reasoned accurately and even brilliantly. They split their favorite topic into three parts. First, an exact definition of what Poverty is. Second, an understanding of the causes of Poverty; and third, a sensible plan to eliminate Poverty. Those who disagreed with them always failed to counter their arguments and often avoided a fair confrontation—in open debate—preferring to use the cowardly and despicable tactics of slander and misrepresentation. The fact that these Socialists only faced their opponents to defeat them was strong evidence of the soundness of their reasoning and the validity of their conclusions—and yet they were undoubtedly crazy. You could talk to them for an endless amount of time about the three aspects of their topic without finding any signs of insanity, but as soon as you asked what methods they intended to use to get their plan accepted, they responded that they hoped to achieve it by reasoning with others!
Although they had sense enough to understand the real causes of poverty, and the only cure for poverty, they were nevertheless so foolish that they entertained the delusion that it is possible to reason with demented persons, whereas every sane person knows that to reason with a maniac is not only fruitless, but rather tends to fix more deeply the erroneous impressions of his disordered mind.
Although they were smart enough to grasp the real reasons behind poverty and the only solution to it, they were still misguided enough to believe that it's possible to reason with crazy people. Every sane person knows that trying to reason with a maniac is not only pointless, but it actually tends to reinforce the false beliefs in his disturbed mind.
The wagonette containing Rushton and his friends continued to fly over the road, pursued by the one in which rode Crass, Bill Bates, and the Semi-drunk; but notwithstanding all the efforts of the drunken driver, they were unable to overtake or pass the smaller vehicle, and when they reached the foot of the hill that led up to Windley the distance between the two carriages rapidly increased, and the race was reluctantly abandoned.
The wagonette with Rushton and his friends sped down the road, being chased by the one carrying Crass, Bill Bates, and the Semi-drunk. Despite the drunken driver's attempts, they couldn't catch up to or overtake the smaller vehicle. When they reached the bottom of the hill leading up to Windley, the gap between the two wagons quickly widened, and they reluctantly gave up the chase.
When they reached the top of the hill Rushton and his friends did not wait for the others, but drove off towards Mugsborough as fast as they could.
When they got to the top of the hill, Rushton and his friends didn’t wait for the others and sped off towards Mugsborough as fast as they could.
Crass’s brake was the next to arrive at the summit, and they halted there to wait for the other two conveyances and when they came up all those who lived nearby got out, and some of them sang “God Save the King”, and then with shouts of “Good Night”, and cries of “Don’t forget six o’clock Monday morning”, they dispersed to their homes and the carriages moved off once more.
Crass’s carriage was the next to reach the top, and they stopped there to wait for the other two vehicles. When they arrived, all the local residents got out, and some of them sang “God Save the King.” Then, with shouts of “Good Night” and calls of “Don’t forget six o’clock Monday morning,” they went back to their homes, and the carriages moved off again.
At intervals as they passed through Windley brief stoppages were made in order to enable others to get out, and by the time they reached the top of the long incline that led down into Mugsborough it was nearly twelve o’clock and the brakes were almost empty, the only passengers being Owen and four or five others who lived down town. By ones and twos these also departed, disappearing into the obscurity of the night, until there was none left, and the Beano was an event of the past.
At various points while they traveled through Windley, they made quick stops to let people off. By the time they got to the top of the long hill leading down into Mugsborough, it was almost midnight and the bus was nearly empty. The only passengers left were Owen and four or five others who lived downtown. One by one, they got off, fading into the darkness of the night, until there was no one left and the Beano was just a memory.
Chapter 45
The Great Oration
The outlook for the approaching winter was—as usual—gloomy in the extreme. One of the leading daily newspapers published an article prophesying a period of severe industrial depression. “As the warehouses were glutted with the things produced by the working classes, there was no need for them to do any more work—at present; and so they would now have to go and starve until such time as their masters had sold or consumed the things already produced.” Of course, the writer of the article did not put it exactly like that, but that was what it amounted to. This article was quoted by nearly all the other papers, both Liberal and Conservative. The Tory papers—ignoring the fact that all the Protectionist countries were in exactly the same condition, published yards of misleading articles about Tariff Reform. The Liberal papers said Tariff Reform was no remedy. Look at America and Germany—worse than here! Still, the situation was undoubtedly very serious—continued the Liberal papers—and Something would have to be done. They did not say exactly what, because, of course, they did not know; but Something would have to be done—tomorrow. They talked vaguely about Re-afforestation, and Reclaiming of Foreshores, and Sea walls: but of course there was the question of Cost! that was a difficulty. But all the same Something would have to be done. Some Experiments must be tried! Great caution was necessary in dealing with such difficult problems! We must go slow, and if in the meantime a few thousand children die of starvation, or become “rickety” or consumptive through lack of proper nutrition it is, of course, very regrettable, but after all they are only working-class children, so it doesn’t matter a great deal.
The outlook for the upcoming winter was, as usual, extremely gloomy. One of the major daily newspapers published an article predicting a period of severe industrial downturn. “Since warehouses are overflowing with goods made by the working class, there’s no need for them to work any more right now; so they will have to go and starve until their employers sell or use what has already been produced.” Of course, the writer didn’t phrase it exactly that way, but that was essentially the message. This article was cited by almost all other newspapers, both Liberal and Conservative. The Tory papers—ignoring the fact that other Protectionist countries were in the same situation—published numerous misleading articles about Tariff Reform. The Liberal papers argued that Tariff Reform wasn’t a solution. Look at America and Germany—they're worse than us! Still, the situation was undoubtedly very serious, the Liberal papers continued, and something needed to be done. They didn’t specify what, because they didn’t know; but something had to happen—tomorrow. They vaguely mentioned reforestation, reclaiming shorelines, and building seawalls; but of course, there was the issue of cost! That was a challenge. But still, something would have to happen. Some experiments needed to be tried! Great caution was necessary when handling such tricky problems! We need to take it slow, and if in the meantime a few thousand children die of starvation, or become "rickety" or develop consumption from lack of proper nutrition, it’s really regrettable, but after all, they’re just working-class kids, so it doesn’t matter that much.
Most of the writers of these Liberal and Tory papers seemed to think that all that was necessary was to find “Work” for the “working” class! That was their conception of a civilized nation in the twentieth century! For the majority of the people to work like brutes in order to obtain a “living wage” for themselves and to create luxuries for a small minority of persons who are too lazy to work at all! And although this was all they thought was necessary, they did not know what to do in order to bring even that much to pass! Winter was returning, bringing in its train the usual crop of horrors, and the Liberal and Tory monopolists of wisdom did not know what to do!
Most of the writers for these Liberal and Tory papers seemed to believe that all that was needed was to find “Work” for the “working” class! That was their idea of a civilized nation in the twentieth century! For the majority of people to work hard just to make a “living wage” for themselves while creating luxuries for a small group of people who are too lazy to work at all! And even though this was all they thought was necessary, they had no idea how to even make that happen! Winter was coming back, bringing the usual problems, and the Liberal and Tory so-called experts didn’t know what to do!
Rushton’s had so little work in that nearly all the hands expected that they would be slaughtered the next Saturday after the “Beano” and there was one man—Jim Smith he was called—who was not allowed to live even till then: he got the sack before breakfast on the Monday morning after the Beano.
Rushton had so little work that almost all the employees figured they would be let go the following Saturday after the “Beano,” and there was one guy—his name was Jim Smith—who wasn’t even allowed to wait that long: he got fired before breakfast on the Monday morning after the Beano.
This man was about forty-five years old, but very short for his age, being only a little over five feet in height. The other men used to say that Little Jim was not made right, for while his body was big enough for a six-footer, his legs were very short, and the fact that he was rather inclined to be fat added to the oddity of his appearance.
This man was around forty-five years old, but he was quite short for his age, standing just a little over five feet tall. The other men often said that Little Jim wasn't built right because, while his body was big enough for someone six feet tall, his legs were very short. The fact that he was also a bit on the heavy side made his appearance even more unusual.
On the Monday morning after the Beano he was painting an upper room in a house where several other men were working, and it was customary for the coddy to shout “Yo! Ho!” at mealtimes, to let the hands know when it was time to leave off work. At about ten minutes to eight, Jim had squared the part of the work he had been doing—the window—so he decided not to start on the door or the skirting until after breakfast. Whilst he was waiting for the foreman to shout “Yo! Ho!” his mind reverted to the Beano, and he began to hum the tunes of some of the songs that had been sung. He hummed the tune of “He’s a jolly good fellow”, and he could not get the tune out of his mind: it kept buzzing in his head. He wondered what time it was? It could not be very far off eight now, to judge by the amount of work he had done since six o’clock. He had rubbed down and stopped all the woodwork and painted the window. A jolly good two hours’ work! He was only getting sixpence-halfpenny an hour and if he hadn’t earned a bob he hadn’t earned nothing! Anyhow, whether he had done enough for ’em or not he wasn’t goin’ to do no more before breakfast.
On the Monday morning after the Beano, he was painting an upper room in a house where several other men were working. It was customary for the foreman to shout “Yo! Ho!” at mealtimes to let the workers know when it was time to stop working. At about ten minutes to eight, Jim had finished his part of the work—the window—so he decided not to start on the door or the skirting until after breakfast. While he was waiting for the foreman to shout “Yo! Ho!”, his mind drifted back to the Beano, and he started to hum the tunes of some of the songs that had been sung. He hummed the tune of “He’s a jolly good fellow,” and he couldn’t shake it from his mind; it kept buzzing in his head. He wondered what time it was. It couldn’t be too far off eight now, judging by how much work he had done since six o’clock. He had sanded and finished all the woodwork and painted the window. A pretty good two hours’ work! He was only earning sixpence-halfpenny an hour, and if he hadn’t made a bob, he hadn’t made anything! Anyway, whether he had done enough for them or not, he wasn’t going to do any more before breakfast.
The tune of “He’s a jolly good fellow” was still buzzing in his head; he thrust his hands deep down in his trouser pockets, and began to polka round the room, humming softly:
The tune of “He’s a jolly good fellow” was still playing in his head; he stuffed his hands deep into his pants pockets and started to dance around the room, humming softly:
“I won’t do no more before breakfast!
I won’t do no more before breakfast!
I won’t do no more before breakfast!
So ’ip ’ip ’ip ’ooray!
So ’ip ’ip ’ip ’ooray So ’ip ’ip ’ooray!
I won’t do no more before breakfast—etc.”
“I won’t do anything else before breakfast!
I won’t do anything else before breakfast!
I won’t do anything else before breakfast!
So hip hip hooray!
So hip hip hooray So hip hooray!
I won’t do anything else before breakfast—etc.”
“No! and you won’t do but very little after breakfast, here!” shouted Hunter, suddenly entering the room.
“No! and you won’t do much after breakfast, here!” shouted Hunter, suddenly entering the room.
“I’ve bin watchin’ of you through the crack of the door for the last ’arf hour; and you’ve not done a dam’ stroke all the time. You make out yer time sheet, and go to the office at nine o’clock and git yer money; we can’t afford to pay you for playing the fool.”
“I’ve been watching you through the crack of the door for the last half hour, and you haven’t done a damn thing this whole time. You fill out your timesheet, go to the office at nine o’clock, and get your money; we can’t afford to pay you for acting foolish.”
Leaving the man dumbfounded and without waiting for a reply, Misery went downstairs and after kicking up a devil of a row with the foreman for the lack of discipline on the job, he instructed him that Smith was not to be permitted to resume work after breakfast. Then he rode away. He had come in so stealthily that no one had known anything of his arrival until they heard him bellowing at Smith.
Leaving the man speechless and without waiting for a response, Misery went downstairs and, after causing a big scene with the foreman about the lack of discipline on the job, he directed him that Smith was not allowed to return to work after breakfast. Then he rode off. He had arrived so quietly that no one knew he was there until they heard him shouting at Smith.
The latter did not stay to take breakfast but went off at once, and when he was gone the other chaps said it served him bloody well right: he was always singing, he ought to have more sense. You can’t do as you like nowadays you know!
The guy didn't stick around for breakfast but left immediately, and once he was gone, the others said he totally deserved it: he was always singing, and he should be smarter about it. You can't just do whatever you want these days, you know!
Easton—who was working at another job with Crass as his foreman—knew that unless some more work came in he was likely to be one of those who would have to go. As far as he could see it was only a week or two at the most before everything would be finished up. But notwithstanding the prospect of being out of work so soon he was far happier than he had been for several months past, for he imagined he had discovered the cause of Ruth’s strange manner.
Easton—who was working at another job with Crass as his supervisor—knew that unless more work came in, he was likely to be one of those who would have to go. From what he could tell, it would only be a week or two at most before everything wrapped up. But despite the possibility of being unemployed so soon, he felt much happier than he had been for several months, as he believed he had figured out the reason for Ruth’s odd behavior.
This knowledge came to him on the night of the Beano. When he arrived home he found that Ruth had already gone to bed: she had not been well, and it was Mrs Linden’s explanation of her illness that led Easton to think that he had discovered the cause of the unhappiness of the last few months. Now that he knew—as he thought—he blamed himself for not having been more considerate and patient with her. At the same time he was at a loss to understand why she had not told him about it herself. The only explanation he could think of was the one suggested by Mrs Linden—that at such times women often behaved strangely. However that might be, he was glad to think he knew the reason of it all, and he resolved that he would be more gentle and forebearing with her.
This realization hit him on the night of the Beano. When he got home, he saw that Ruth had already gone to bed; she hadn't been well, and it was Mrs. Linden's explanation of her illness that made Easton think he had figured out the reason for her unhappiness in recent months. Now that he believed he knew—the way he thought he did—he felt guilty for not being more considerate and patient with her. At the same time, he was puzzled about why she hadn’t shared this with him. The only explanation he could think of was the one Mrs. Linden suggested—that women often acted strangely during such times. Regardless of that, he was relieved to think he understood the cause of it all, and he decided he would be gentler and more patient with her.
The place where he was working was practically finished. It was a large house called “The Refuge”, very similar to “The Cave”, and during the last week or two, it had become what they called a “hospital”. That is, as the other jobs became finished the men were nearly all sent to this one, so that there was quite a large crowd of them there. The inside work was all finished—with the exception of the kitchen, which was used as a mess room, and the scullery, which was the paint shop.
The place where he was working was almost done. It was a big house called “The Refuge,” which looked a lot like “The Cave,” and over the past week or two, it had turned into what they referred to as a “hospital.” That is, as the other tasks wrapped up, most of the workers were sent here, so there was quite a crowd of them. The interior work was all complete—except for the kitchen, which was being used as a mess room, and the scullery, which served as the paint shop.
Everybody was working on the job. Poor old Joe Philpot, whose rheumatism had been very bad lately, was doing a very rough job—painting the gable from a long ladder.
Everybody was working on the job. Poor old Joe Philpot, whose rheumatism had been really bad lately, was doing a tough job—painting the gable from a tall ladder.
But though there were plenty of younger men more suitable for this, Philpot did not care to complain for fear Crass or Misery should think he was not up to his work. At dinner time all the old hands assembled in the kitchen, including Crass, Easton, Harlow, Bundy and Dick Wantley, who still sat on a pail behind his usual moat.
But even though there were a lot of younger guys more fit for this, Philpot didn’t want to complain because he was afraid Crass or Misery might think he wasn’t capable of doing his job. At dinner time, all the experienced workers gathered in the kitchen, including Crass, Easton, Harlow, Bundy, and Dick Wantley, who was still sitting on a pail behind his usual spot.
Philpot and Harlow were absent and everybody wondered what had become of them.
Philpot and Harlow were missing, and everyone was curious about what happened to them.
Several times during the morning they had been seen whispering together and comparing scraps of paper, and various theories were put forward to account for their disappearance. Most of the men thought they must have heard something good about the probable winner of the Handicap and had gone to put something on. Some others thought that perhaps they had heard of another “job” about to be started by some other firm and had gone to inquire about it.
Several times in the morning, they were spotted whispering to each other and comparing bits of paper, sparking various theories about where they had gone. Most of the guys figured they must have caught wind of some insider info on the likely winner of the Handicap and went to place a bet. Others speculated that maybe they heard about another "job" that some other company was about to start and went to check it out.
“Looks to me as if they’ll stand a very good chance of gettin’ drowned if they’re gone very far,” remarked Easton, referring to the weather. It had been threatening to rain all the morning, and during the last few minutes it had become so dark that Crass lit the gas, so that—as he expressed it—they should be able to see the way to their mouths. Outside, the wind grew more boisterous every moment; the darkness continued to increase, and presently there succeeded a torrential downfall of rain, which beat fiercely against the windows, and poured in torrents down the glass. The men glanced gloomily at each other. No more work could be done outside that day, and there was nothing left to do inside. As they were paid by the hour, this would mean that they would have to lose half a day’s pay.
“Seems to me like they’re going to have a good chance of getting drowned if they’re out there too long,” Easton said, commenting on the weather. It had been threatening to rain all morning, and in the last few minutes, it got so dark that Crass turned on the gas so they could see their way to their drinks. Outside, the wind got stronger by the minute; the darkness continued to deepen, and soon a heavy downpour started, pounding against the windows and streaming down the glass. The men looked at each other glumly. No more work could be done outside that day, and there was nothing left to do inside. Since they were paid hourly, this meant they would lose half a day’s pay.
“If it keeps on like this we won’t be able to do no more work, and we won’t be able to go home either,” remarked Easton.
“If it keeps going like this, we won’t be able to do any more work, and we won’t be able to go home either,” Easton remarked.
“Well, we’re all right ’ere, ain’t we?” said the man behind the moat; “there’s a nice fire and plenty of heasy chairs. Wot the ’ell more do you want?”
“Well, we’re all right here, aren’t we?” said the man behind the moat; “there’s a nice fire and plenty of easy chairs. What the hell more do you want?”
“Yes,” remarked another philosopher. “If we only had a shove-ha’penny table or a ring board, I reckon we should be able to enjoy ourselves all right.”
“Yes,” said another philosopher. “If we just had a shove-ha’penny table or a ring board, I think we’d be able to have a good time.”
Philpot and Harlow were still absent, and the others again fell to wondering where they could be.
Philpot and Harlow were still missing, and the others once again started wondering where they could be.
“I see old Joe up on ’is ladder only a few minutes before twelve,” remarked Wantley.
“I saw old Joe on his ladder just a few minutes before noon,” Wantley said.
Everyone agreed that it was a mystery.
Everyone agreed that it was a mystery.
At this moment the two truants returned, looking very important.
At this moment, the two delinquents came back, looking very significant.
Philpot was armed with a hammer and carried a pair of steps, while Harlow bore a large piece of wallpaper which the two of them proceeded to tack on the wall, much to the amusement of the others, who read the announcement opposite written in charcoal.
Philpot had a hammer and was holding a pair of stepladders, while Harlow carried a big piece of wallpaper that they both started to tack onto the wall, much to the amusement of the others, who were reading the announcement written in charcoal on the opposite side.
Every day at meals since Barrington’s unexpected outburst at the Beano dinner, the men had been trying their best to “kid him on” to make another speech, but so far without success. If anything, he had been even more silent and reserved than before, as if he felt some regret that he had spoken as he had on that occasion. Crass and his disciples attributed Barrington’s manner to fear that he was going to get the sack for his trouble and they agreed amongst themselves that it would serve him bloody well right if ’e did get the push.
Every day during meals since Barrington’s surprising outburst at the Beano dinner, the guys had been doing their best to tease him into making another speech, but so far, they hadn’t succeeded. If anything, he had been even more quiet and withdrawn than before, as if he felt some regret for what he’d said at that time. Crass and his followers thought Barrington’s behavior was because he was scared he’d get fired for it, and they all agreed among themselves that it would be justifiably harsh if he did get the boot.
When they had fixed the poster on the wall, Philpot stood the steps in the corner of the room, with the back part facing outwards, and then, everything being ready for the lecturer, the two sat down in their accustomed places and began to eat their dinners, Harlow remarking that they would have to buck up or they would be too late for the meeting; and the rest of the crowd began to discuss the poster.
When they had put the poster on the wall, Philpot positioned the steps in the corner of the room with the backside facing out, and then, everything ready for the lecturer, the two sat down in their usual spots and started eating their dinners. Harlow noted that they needed to hurry up or they would be late for the meeting, while the rest of the crowd began discussing the poster.
“Wot the ’ell does PLO mean?” demanded Bundy, with a puzzled expression.
“What's the heck does PLO mean?” asked Bundy, looking confused.
“Plain Layer On,” answered Philpot modestly.
“Plain Layer On,” Philpot replied modestly.
“’Ave you ever ’eard the Professor preach before?” inquired the man on the pail, addressing Bundy.
“Have you ever heard the Professor speak before?” asked the man on the pail, addressing Bundy.
Imperial Bankquet Hall
“The Refuge”
on Thursday at 12.30 prompt
Professor Barrington
WILL DELIVER A
ORATION
ENTITLED
THE GREAT SECRET, OR
HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT WORK
The Rev. Joe Philpot PLO
(Late absconding secretary of the light refreshment fund)
Will take the chair and anything else
he can lay his hands on.
At The End Of The Lecture
A MEETING WILL BE
ARRANGED
And carried out according to the
Marquis of Queensbury’s Rules.
A Collection will be took up
in aid of the cost of printing
Imperial Banquet Hall
“The Refuge”
on Thursday at 12:30 sharp
Professor Barrington
WILL PRESENT A
SPEECH
TITLED
THE GREAT SECRET, OR
HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT WORK
The Rev. Joe Philpot PLO
(Formerly the missing secretary of the light refreshment fund)
Will oversee the event and anything else
he can grab hold of.
After The Lecture
A meeting will be scheduled.
And conducted according to the
Marquis of Queensbury’s Rules.
A Collection will be taken
to help cover the printing costs.
“Only once, at the Beano,” replied that individual; “an’ that was once too often!”
“Only once, at the Beano,” that person replied; “and that was once too many!”
“Finest speaker I ever ’eard,” said the man on the pail with enthusiasm. “I wouldn’t miss this lecture for anything: this is one of ’is best subjects. I got ’ere about two hours before the doors was opened, so as to be sure to get a seat.”
“Best speaker I’ve ever heard,” said the man on the pail with excitement. “I wouldn’t miss this lecture for anything: this is one of his best topics. I got here about two hours before the doors opened to make sure I’d get a seat.”
“Yes, it’s a very good subject,” said Crass, with a sneer. “I believe most of the Labour Members in Parliament is well up in it.”
“Yes, it’s a really interesting topic,” Crass said with a smirk. “I think most of the Labour Members in Parliament are quite knowledgeable about it.”
“And wot about the other members?” demanded Philpot. “Seems to me as if most of them knows something about it too.”
“And what about the other members?” asked Philpot. “It seems to me that most of them know something about it too.”
“The difference is,” said Owen, “the working classes voluntarily pay to keep the Labour Members, but whether they like it or not, they have to keep the others.”
“The difference is,” said Owen, “the working classes willingly pay to support the Labour Members, but whether they want to or not, they have to support the others.”
“The Labour members is sent to the ’Ouse of Commons,” said Harlow, “and paid their wages to do certain work for the benefit of the working classes, just the same as we’re sent ’ere and paid our wages by the Bloke to paint this ’ouse.”
“The Labour members are sent to the House of Commons,” said Harlow, “and paid their wages to do specific work for the benefit of the working class, just like we’re sent here and paid our wages by the Bloke to paint this house.”
“Yes,” said Crass; “but if we didn’t do the work we’re paid to do, we should bloody soon get the sack.”
“Yes,” said Crass; “but if we didn’t do the work we’re paid to do, we’d quickly get fired.”
“I can’t see how we’ve got to keep the other members,” said Slyme; “they’re mostly rich men, and they live on their own money.”
“I don’t see why we need to keep the other members,” said Slyme; “they're mostly wealthy guys, and they rely on their own money.”
“Of course,” said Crass. “And I should like to know where we should be without ’em! Talk about us keepin’ them! It seems to me more like it that they keeps us! The likes of us lives on rich people. Where should we be if it wasn’t for all the money they spend and the work they ’as done? If the owner of this ’ouse ’adn’t ’ad the money to spend to ’ave it done up, most of us would ’ave bin out of work this last six weeks, and starvin’, the same as lots of others ’as been.”
“Of course,” said Crass. “And I’d like to know where we’d be without them! People act like we’re the ones supporting them! It seems more like they’re supporting us! People like us survive on the wealth of the rich. Where would we be if it weren’t for all the money they spend and the work they’ve done? If the owner of this house hadn’t had the money to renovate it, most of us would have been out of work for the last six weeks and starving, just like so many others have been.”
“Oh yes, that’s right enough,” agreed Bundy. “Labour is no good without Capital. Before any work can be done there’s one thing necessary, and that’s money. It would be easy to find work for all the unemployed if the local authorities could only raise the money.”
“Oh yes, that’s absolutely true,” Bundy agreed. “Labor is useless without capital. Before any work can happen, the one thing we need is money. It would be easy to create jobs for all the unemployed if the local authorities could just find the funds.”
“Yes; that’s quite true,” said Owen. “And that proves that money is the cause of poverty, because poverty consists in being short of the necessaries of life: the necessaries of life are all produced by labour applied to the raw materials: the raw materials exist in abundance and there are plenty of people able and willing to work; but under present conditions no work can be done without money; and so we have the spectacle of a great army of people compelled to stand idle and starve by the side of the raw materials from which their labour could produce abundance of all the things they need—they are rendered helpless by the power of Money! Those who possess all the money say that the necessaries of life shall not be produced except for their profit.”
“Yes, that's totally true,” said Owen. “And that shows that money is the root of poverty, because poverty means lacking the essentials of life: the essentials of life come from labor applied to raw materials. There is plenty of raw material available and many people who are willing and able to work; but right now, no work can happen without money. So we see a huge number of people forced to stand around doing nothing and starving next to the raw materials that their work could turn into plenty of everything they need—they're made powerless by the influence of Money! Those who have all the money decide that the essentials of life won't be produced unless it's for their profit.”
“Yes! and you can’t alter it,” said Crass, triumphantly. “It’s always been like it, and it always will be like it.”
“Yes! And you can’t change it,” Crass said triumphantly. “It’s always been this way, and it always will be.”
“’Ear! ’Ear!” shouted the man behind the moat. “There’s always been rich and poor in the world, and there always will be.”
“Hey! Hey!” shouted the man behind the moat. “There have always been rich and poor in the world, and there always will be.”
Several others expressed their enthusiastic agreement with Crass’s opinion, and most of them appeared to be highly delighted to think that the existing state of affairs could never be altered.
Several others showed their enthusiastic agreement with Crass's opinion, and most of them seemed really pleased to think that the current situation could never change.
“It hasn’t always been like it, and it won’t always be like it,” said Owen. “The time will come, and it’s not very far distant, when the necessaries of life will be produced for use and not for profit. The time is coming when it will no longer be possible for a few selfish people to condemn thousands of men and women and little children to live in misery and die of want.”
“It hasn’t always been this way, and it won’t always be this way,” Owen said. “The time will come, and it’s not too far off, when the essentials of life will be made for use, not for profit. The time is coming when it will no longer be possible for a few selfish people to force thousands of men, women, and little children to live in misery and die from lack.”
“Ah well, it won’t be in your time, or mine either,” said Crass gleefully, and most of the others laughed with imbecile satisfaction.
“Ah well, it won’t happen in your time, or mine either,” said Crass happily, and most of the others laughed with silly satisfaction.
“I’ve ’eard a ’ell of a lot about this ’ere Socialism,” remarked the man behind the moat, “but up to now I’ve never met nobody wot could tell you plainly exactly wot it is.”
“I’ve heard a lot about this Socialism thing,” said the man behind the moat, “but up until now, I’ve never met anyone who could clearly explain exactly what it is.”
“Yes; that’s what I should like to know too,” said Easton.
“Yes; that’s what I’d like to know too,” said Easton.
“Socialism means, ‘What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine’s me own,’” observed Bundy, and during the laughter that greeted this definition Slyme was heard to say that Socialism meant Materialism, Atheism and Free Love, and if it were ever to come about it would degrade men and women to the level of brute beasts. Harlow said Socialism was a beautiful ideal, which he for one would be very glad to see realized, and he was afraid it was altogether too good to be practical, because human nature is too mean and selfish. Sawkins said that Socialism was a lot of bloody rot, and Crass expressed the opinion—which he had culled from the delectable columns of the Obscurer—that it meant robbing the industrious for the benefit of the idle and thriftless.
“Socialism means, ‘What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is my own,’” observed Bundy, and during the laughter that followed this definition, Slyme was heard to say that Socialism meant Materialism, Atheism, and Free Love, and if it ever happened, it would reduce men and women to the level of brute beasts. Harlow said Socialism was a beautiful ideal, which he would love to see realized, but he feared it was probably too good to be practical because human nature is too mean and selfish. Sawkins stated that Socialism was a load of nonsense, and Crass expressed the opinion—which he had picked up from the entertaining columns of the Obscurer—that it meant robbing the hardworking for the benefit of the lazy and irresponsible.
Philpot had by this time finished his bread and cheese, and, having taken a final draught of tea, he rose to his feet, and crossing over to the corner of the room, ascended the pulpit, being immediately greeted with a tremendous outburst of hooting, howling and booing, which he smilingly acknowledged by removing his cap from his bald head and bowing repeatedly. When the storm of shrieks, yells, groans and catcalls had in some degree subsided, and Philpot was able to make himself heard, he addressed the meeting as follows:
Philpot had just finished his bread and cheese and, after taking a final sip of tea, stood up. He walked over to the corner of the room and climbed up to the pulpit, where he was immediately met with a loud chorus of hooting, howling, and booing. He smiled and acknowledged this by taking off his cap and bowing repeatedly. Once the chaos of shouts, yells, groans, and catcalls had calmed down a bit and he could be heard, he addressed the gathering like this:
“Gentlemen: First of all I beg to thank you very sincerely for the magnificent and cordial reception you have given me on this occasion, and I shall try to deserve your good opinion by opening the meeting as briefly as possible.
“Gentlemen: First of all, I sincerely thank you for the warm and generous welcome you've given me today. I'll do my best to earn your good opinion by keeping this meeting as brief as possible."
“Putting all jokes aside, I think we’re all agreed about one thing, and that is, that there’s plenty of room for improvement in things in general. (Hear, hear.) As our other lecturer, Professor Owen, pointed out in one of ’is lectures and as most of you ’ave read in the newspapers, although British trade was never so good before as it is now, there was never so much misery and poverty, and so many people out of work, and so many small shopkeepers goin’ up the spout as there is at this partickiler time. Now, some people tells us as the way to put everything right is to ’ave Free Trade and plenty of cheap food. Well, we’ve got them all now, but the misery seems to go on all around us all the same. Then there’s other people tells us as the “Friscal Policy” is the thing to put everything right. (‘Hear, hear’ from Crass and several others.) And then there’s another lot that ses that Socialism is the only remedy. Well, we all know pretty well wot Free Trade and Protection means, but most of us don’t know exactly what Socialism means; and I say as it’s the dooty of every man to try and find out which is the right thing to vote for, and when ’e’s found it out, to do wot ’e can to ’elp to bring it about. And that’s the reason we’ve gorn to the enormous expense of engaging Professor Barrington to come ’ere this afternoon and tell us exactly what Socialism is.
“Putting all jokes aside, I think we can all agree on one thing, and that is, there’s a lot of room for improvement in general. (Hear, hear.) As our other lecturer, Professor Owen, pointed out in one of his lectures and as most of you have read in the newspapers, even though British trade has never been as good as it is now, there has never been so much misery and poverty, so many people out of work, and so many small shopkeepers going bankrupt as there are at this particular time. Now, some people tell us that the way to fix everything is to have Free Trade and plenty of cheap food. Well, we have all that now, but the misery seems to persist all around us just the same. Then there are other people who say that “Fiscal Policy” is the solution to make everything right. (‘Hear, hear’ from Crass and several others.) And then there are another group who say that Socialism is the only remedy. Well, we all pretty much know what Free Trade and Protection mean, but most of us don’t know exactly what Socialism means; and I believe it’s the duty of every man to try and find out what is the right thing to vote for, and once he discovers it, to do what he can to help make it happen. And that’s the reason we’ve gone to the significant expense of bringing in Professor Barrington to come here this afternoon and explain exactly what Socialism is.”
“As I ’ope you’re all just as anxious to ’ear it as I am myself, I will not stand between you and the lecturer no longer, but will now call upon ’im to address you.”
“As I hope you’re all just as eager to hear it as I am, I won’t keep you from the speaker any longer and will now invite him to address you.”
Philpot was loudly applauded as he descended from the pulpit, and in response to the clamorous demands of the crowd, Barrington, who in the meantime had yielded to Owen’s entreaties that he would avail himself of this opportunity of proclaiming the glad tidings of the good time that is to be, got up on the steps in his turn.
Philpot received a loud round of applause as he stepped down from the pulpit. In response to the enthusiastic calls from the crowd, Barrington, who had given in to Owen’s pleas to take this chance to share the exciting news of the great times ahead, got up on the steps in his turn.
Harlow, desiring that everything should be done decently and in order, had meantime arranged in front of the pulpit a carpenter’s sawing stool, and an empty pail with a small piece of board laid across it, to serve as a seat and a table for the chairman. Over the table he draped a large red handkerchief. At the right he placed a plumber’s large hammer; at the left, a battered and much-chipped jam-jar, full of tea. Philpot having taken his seat on the pail at this table and announced his intention of bashing out with the hammer the brains of any individual who ventured to disturb the meeting, Barrington commenced:
Harlow, wanting everything to be done properly and in order, had set up a carpenter’s sawing stool in front of the pulpit, along with an empty bucket and a small piece of wood laid across it to function as a seat and table for the chairman. He draped a large red handkerchief over the table. On the right, he placed a plumber’s large hammer; on the left, an old, chipped jam jar full of tea. Philpot took his seat on the bucket at this table and announced his plan to use the hammer to bash the brains out of anyone who dared to interrupt the meeting, and Barrington began:
“Mr Chairman and Gentlemen. For the sake of clearness, and in order to avoid confusing one subject with another, I have decided to divide the oration into two parts. First, I will try to explain as well as I am able what Socialism is. I will try to describe to you the plan or system upon which the Co-operative Commonwealth of the future will be organized; and, secondly, I will try to tell you how it can be brought about. But before proceeding with the first part of the subject, I would like to refer very slightly to the widespread delusion that Socialism is impossible because it means a complete change from an order of things which has always existed. We constantly hear it said that because there have always been rich and poor in the world, there always must be. I want to point out to you first of all, that it is not true that even in its essential features, the present system has existed from all time; it is not true that there have always been rich and poor in the world, in the sense that we understand riches and poverty today.
“Mr. Chairman and everyone here, to keep things clear and avoid mixing up different topics, I’ve decided to split this speech into two parts. First, I’ll do my best to explain what Socialism is. I’ll describe the plan or system that the Co-operative Commonwealth of the future will be built on; and secondly, I’ll outline how we can achieve it. But before diving into the first part, I want to briefly address the common misconception that Socialism is impossible because it would require a complete shift from a system that has always existed. We often hear that since there have always been rich and poor in the world, there will always be. I want to point out that it isn’t true that the current system has existed forever in its essential features; it isn’t accurate to say that there have always been rich and poor in the world in the way we understand wealth and poverty today.”
“These statements are lies that have been invented for the purpose of creating in us a feeling of resignation to the evils of our condition. They are lies which have been fostered by those who imagine that it is to their interest that we should be content to see our children condemned to the same poverty and degradation that we have endured ourselves.
“These statements are lies designed to make us accept the hardships of our situation. They are falsehoods promoted by those who believe it benefits them for us to be satisfied with seeing our children trapped in the same poverty and misery that we have suffered.”
I do not propose—because there is not time, although it is really part of my subject—to go back to the beginnings of history, and describe in detail the different systems of social organization which evolved from and superseded each other at different periods, but it is necessary to remind you that the changes that have taken place in the past have been even greater than the change proposed by Socialists today. The change from savagery and cannibalism when men used to devour the captives they took in war—to the beginning of chattel slavery, when the tribes or clans into which mankind were divided—whose social organization was a kind of Communism, all the individuals belonging to the tribe being practically social equals, members of one great family—found it more profitable to keep their captives as slaves than to eat them. The change from the primitive Communism of the tribes, into the more individualistic organization of the nations, and the development of private ownership of the land and slaves and means of subsistence. The change from chattel slavery into Feudalism; and the change from Feudalism into the earlier form of Capitalism; and the equally great change from what might be called the individualistic capitalism which displaced Feudalism, to the system of Co-operative Capitalism and Wage Slavery of today.”
I don’t suggest going back to the early days of history, as there isn’t enough time for that, and although it’s part of my topic, I need to point out that the changes in the past have been even bigger than what Socialists are proposing today. The shift from savagery and cannibalism, when people would eat the captives they took in war, to the start of chattel slavery, occurred when tribes or clans, which were a form of Communism in that all members were basically social equals and part of one big family, found it more beneficial to keep their captives as slaves instead of eating them. The transition from the early Communism of tribes to a more individualistic setup in nations and the rise of private ownership of land, slaves, and means of sustenance. The move from chattel slavery to Feudalism, and then from Feudalism to the earlier stage of Capitalism; followed by the significant shift from what could be seen as individualistic capitalism that replaced Feudalism to the system of Co-operative Capitalism and Wage Slavery we see today.
“I believe you must ’ave swollered a bloody dictionary,” exclaimed the man behind the moat.
“I think you must have swallowed a damn dictionary,” shouted the man behind the moat.
“Keep horder,” shouted Philpot, fiercely, striking the table with the hammer, and there were loud shouts of “Chair” and “Chuck ’im out,” from several quarters.
“Keep horder,” shouted Philpot angrily, slamming the table with the hammer, and there were loud cries of “Chair” and “Throw him out,” from several directions.
When order was restored, the lecturer proceeded:
When things were back in order, the lecturer continued:
“So it is not true that practically the same state of affairs as we have today has always existed. It is not true that anything like the poverty that prevails at present existed at any previous period of the world’s history. When the workers were the property of their masters, it was to their owners’ interest to see that they were properly clothed and fed; they were not allowed to be idle, and they were not allowed to starve. Under Feudalism also, although there were certain intolerable circumstances, the position of the workers was, economically, infinitely better than it is today. The worker was in subjection to his Lord, but in return his lord had certain responsibilities and duties to perform, and there was a large measure of community of interest between them.
“So it's not accurate to say that the current situation has always been the same. It's not true that the level of poverty we see today existed in any past era of history. When workers were owned by their masters, it was in the owners' best interest to make sure they were properly clothed and fed; they couldn't be idle or allowed to starve. Under Feudalism, even though there were some unbearable conditions, the economic status of workers was, in many ways, better than it is today. The worker was bound to his Lord, but in exchange, the lord had certain responsibilities and duties, and there was a significant level of shared interest between them.”
“I do not intend to dwell upon this point at length, but in support of what I have said I will quote as nearly as I can from memory the words of the historian Froude.
“I don’t plan to spend too much time on this point, but to back up what I’ve said, I will quote as closely as I can from memory the words of the historian Froude.
“‘I do not believe,’ says Mr Froude, ‘that the condition of the people in Mediaeval Europe was as miserable as is pretended. I do not believe that the distribution of the necessaries of life was as unequal as it is at present. If the tenant lived hard, the lord had little luxury. Earls and countesses breakfasted at five in the morning, on salt beef and herring, a slice of bread and a draught of ale from a blackjack. Lords and servants dined in the same hall and shared the same meal.’
“‘I don't believe,’ says Mr. Froude, ‘that the living conditions of people in Medieval Europe were as terrible as is claimed. I don't think the distribution of life's essentials was as uneven as it is today. If the tenant had a tough life, the lord wasn't living in luxury either. Earls and countesses had breakfast at five in the morning, eating salt beef and herring, a slice of bread, and a drink of ale from a jug. Lords and their servants dined in the same hall and shared the same meal.’”
“When we arrive at the system that displaced Feudalism, we find that the condition of the workers was better in every way than it is at present. The instruments of production—the primitive machinery and the tools necessary for the creation of wealth—belonged to the skilled workers who used them, and the things they produced were also the property of those who made them.
“When we reach the system that replaced Feudalism, we see that workers' conditions were better in every way than they are now. The means of production—the basic machinery and tools needed to create wealth—were owned by the skilled workers who used them, and the products they made also belonged to the people who created them.”
“In those days a master painter, a master shoemaker, a master saddler, or any other master tradesmen, was really a skilled artisan working on his own account. He usually had one or two apprentices, who were socially his equals, eating at the same table and associating with the other members of his family. It was quite a common occurrence for the apprentice—after he had attained proficiency in his work—to marry his master’s daughter and succeed to his master’s business. In those days to be a ‘master’ tradesman meant to be master of the trade, not merely of some underpaid drudges in one’s employment. The apprentices were there to master the trade, qualifying themselves to become master workers themselves; not mere sweaters and exploiters of the labour of others, but useful members of society. In those days, because there was no labour-saving machinery the community was dependent for its existence on the productions of hand labour. Consequently the majority of the people were employed in some kind of productive work, and the workers were honoured and respected citizens, living in comfort on the fruits of their labour. They were not rich as we understand wealth now, but they did not starve and they were not regarded with contempt, as are their successors of today.
“In those days, a master painter, master shoemaker, master saddler, or any other skilled tradesperson was truly a talented artisan working independently. He typically had one or two apprentices, who were socially his equals, sharing meals and socializing with his family. It was quite common for an apprentice—after gaining proficiency in his trade—to marry his master’s daughter and take over his master’s business. Back then, being a ‘master’ tradesperson meant truly mastering the trade, not just overseeing some underpaid workers. The apprentices were there to learn the trade, preparing themselves to become master workers in their own right; they were not just laborers exploiting others’ work but valuable members of society. At that time, because there was no labor-saving machinery, the community relied on the output of hand labor for its survival. As a result, most people were engaged in some form of productive work, and the workers were honored and respected citizens, living comfortably from the rewards of their labor. They weren’t rich by today's standards, but they didn’t go hungry and weren’t looked down upon, unlike many of their modern counterparts.”
“The next great change came with the introduction of steam machinery. That power came to the aid of mankind in their struggle for existence, enabling them to create easily and in abundance those things of which they had previously been able to produce only a bare sufficiency. A wonderful power—equalling and surpassing the marvels that were imagined by the writers of fairy tales and Eastern stories—a power so vast—so marvellous, that it is difficult to find words to convey anything like an adequate conception of it.
“The next big change happened when steam machinery was introduced. This power helped humanity in their fight for survival, allowing them to create easily and in large quantities things they could only produce in small amounts before. It was an amazing power—equaling and surpassing the wonders imagined by fairy tale writers and stories from the East—so vast and incredible that it’s hard to find words to express even a glimpse of it.”
“We all remember the story, in The Arabian Nights, of Aladdin, who in his poverty became possessed of the Wonderful Lamp and—he was poor no longer. He merely had to rub the Lamp—the Genie appeared, and at Aladdin’s command he produced an abundance of everything that the youth could ask or dream of. With the discovery of steam machinery, mankind became possessed of a similar power to that imagined by the Eastern writer. At the command of its masters the Wonderful Lamp of Machinery produces an enormous, overwhelming, stupendous abundance and superfluity of every material thing necessary for human existence and happiness. With less labour than was formerly required to cultivate acres, we can now cultivate miles of land. In response to human industry, aided by science and machinery, the fruitful earth teems with such lavish abundance as was never known or deemed possible before. If you go into the different factories and workshops you will see prodigious quantities of commodities of every kind pouring out of the wonderful machinery, literally like water from a tap.
“We all remember the story from The Arabian Nights about Aladdin, who, despite being poor, came into possession of the Wonderful Lamp and—he was no longer poor. All he had to do was rub the Lamp, and the Genie appeared. At Aladdin’s command, he produced an abundance of everything the young man could ask for or dream about. With the advent of steam machinery, humanity gained a similar power to what was imagined by the Eastern storyteller. At the command of its operators, the Wonderful Lamp of Machinery generates an enormous, overwhelming abundance of every material thing necessary for human existence and happiness. With less labor than was previously required to farm acres, we can now cultivate miles of land. In response to human effort, supported by science and machinery, the fertile earth overflows with such lavish abundance as was never known or thought possible before. If you visit different factories and workshops, you will see incredible amounts of goods of every kind pouring out of the amazing machinery, literally like water from a tap.”
“One would naturally and reasonably suppose that the discovery or invention of such an aid to human industry would result in increased happiness and comfort for every one; but as you all know, the reverse is the case; and the reason of that extraordinary result, is the reason of all the poverty and unhappiness that we see around us and endure today—it is simply because—the machinery became the property of a comparatively few individuals and private companies, who use it not for the benefit of the community but to create profits for themselves.
“One would naturally and reasonably think that discovering or inventing such a tool for human work would lead to more happiness and comfort for everyone; but as you all know, that’s not the case; and the reason for this unusual outcome is the same reason for all the poverty and unhappiness we see around us today—it’s simply because the machinery became the property of a relatively small number of individuals and private companies, who use it not for the benefit of the community but to make profits for themselves.”
“As this labour-saving machinery became more extensively used, the prosperous class of skilled workers gradually disappeared. Some of the wealthier of them became distributers instead of producers of wealth; that is to say, they became shopkeepers, retailing the commodities that were produced for the most part by machinery. But the majority of them in course of time degenerated into a class of mere wage earners, having no property in the machines they used, and no property in the things they made.
“As this labor-saving machinery became more widely used, the prosperous class of skilled workers slowly vanished. Some of the wealthier individuals transitioned from producers to distributors; in other words, they became shopkeepers, selling the goods that were mostly made by machines. However, the majority eventually turned into a class of simple wage earners, owning neither the machines they operated nor the products they created.”
“They sold their labour for so much per hour, and when they could not find any employer to buy it from them, they were reduced to destitution.
“They sold their labor for a set hourly rate, and when they couldn't find any employer to hire them, they were left in extreme poverty."
“Whilst the unemployed workers were starving and those in employment not much better off, the individuals and private companies who owned the machinery accumulated fortunes; but their profits were diminished and their working expenses increased by what led to the latest great change in the organization of the production of the necessaries of life—the formation of the Limited Companies and the Trusts; the decision of the private companies to combine and co-operate with each other in order to increase their profits and decrease their working expenses. The results of these combines have been—an increase in the quantities of the things produced: a decrease in the number of wage earners employed—and enormously increased profits for the shareholders.
“While unemployed workers were starving and those with jobs weren’t much better off, the individuals and private companies that owned the machinery made huge fortunes; however, their profits were reduced and their operating costs increased by what led to the latest major change in how essential goods were produced—the rise of Limited Companies and Trusts. This was the choice of private companies to come together and collaborate with one another to boost their profits and lower their expenses. The outcomes of these mergers have been—an increase in the volume of goods produced: a decrease in the number of workers employed—and massively increased profits for the shareholders.”
“But it is not only the wage-earning class that is being hurt; for while they are being annihilated by the machinery and the efficient organization of industry by the trusts that control and are beginning to monopolize production, the shopkeeping classes are also being slowly but surely crushed out of existence by the huge companies that are able by the greater magnitude of their operations to buy and sell more cheaply than the small traders.
“But it’s not just the working class that’s suffering; while they’re being pushed out by machines and the efficient organization of industry led by trusts that control and are starting to monopolize production, small business owners are also being gradually eliminated by the large companies that can operate on a larger scale, buying and selling more cheaply than the smaller retailers.”
“The consequence of all this is that the majority of the people are in a condition of more or less abject poverty—living from hand to mouth. It is an admitted fact that about thirteen millions of our people are always on the verge of starvation. The significant results of this poverty face us on every side. The alarming and persistent increase of insanity. The large number of would-be recruits for the army who have to be rejected because they are physically unfit; and the shameful condition of the children of the poor. More than one-third of the children of the working classes in London have some sort of mental or physical defect; defects in development; defects of eyesight; abnormal nervousness; rickets, and mental dullness. The difference in height and weight and general condition of the children in poor schools and the children of the so-called better classes, constitutes a crime that calls aloud to Heaven for vengeance upon those who are responsible for it.
“The consequence of all this is that most people are living in a state of severe poverty—struggling to get by day to day. It's a known fact that about thirteen million of our citizens are always on the brink of starvation. The significant effects of this poverty are evident all around us. There’s a worrying and ongoing rise in mental illness. A large number of potential army recruits are turned away because they are physically unfit; and the disgraceful situation of children from low-income families is alarming. More than a third of the children from working-class families in London have some form of mental or physical impairment; issues in development; vision problems; extreme nervousness; rickets, and cognitive delays. The contrast in height, weight, and overall health between children in underprivileged schools and those from what are considered better backgrounds is a crime that cries out to Heaven for justice against those responsible for it.”
“It is childish to imagine that any measure of Tariff Reform or Political Reform such as a paltry tax on foreign-made goods or abolishing the House of Lords, or disestablishing the Church—or miserable Old Age Pensions, or a contemptible tax on land, can deal with such a state of affairs as this. They have no House of Lords in America or France, and yet their condition is not materially different from ours. You may be deceived into thinking that such measures as those are great things. You may fight for them and vote for them, but after you have got them you will find that they will make no appreciable improvement in your condition. You will still have to slave and drudge to gain a bare sufficiency of the necessaries of life. You will still have to eat the same kind of food and wear the same kind of clothes and boots as now. Your masters will still have you in their power to insult and sweat and drive. Your general condition will be just the same as at present because such measures as those are not remedies but red herrings, intended by those who trail them to draw us away from the only remedy, which is to be found only in the Public Ownership of the Machinery, and the National Organization of Industry for the production and distribution of the necessaries of life, not for the profit of a few but for the benefit of all!
“It’s naïve to think that any changes like Tariff Reform or Political Reform, such as a small tax on foreign-made products or getting rid of the House of Lords, or disbanding the Church—or pathetic Old Age Pensions, or a trivial tax on land, can actually address the situation we’re in. They don't have a House of Lords in America or France, and yet their situation isn’t that different from ours. You might be misled into believing that measures like these are substantial. You might fight for them and vote for them, but once you have them, you’ll realize they won’t make a significant difference in your life. You’ll still have to work hard just to meet basic needs. You’ll continue to eat the same kind of food and wear the same clothes and shoes as you do now. Your bosses will still have the power to insult and exploit you. Your overall situation will be just as it is now because these measures aren’t solutions but distractions, designed by those promoting them to steer us away from the only real solution, which is Public Ownership of the Means of Production and the National Organization of Industry for creating and distributing the essentials of life, not for the profit of a few but for the benefit of everyone!”
“That is the next great change; not merely desirable, but imperatively necessary and inevitable! That is Socialism!
“That is the next big change; not just desirable, but absolutely necessary and unavoidable! That is Socialism!
“It is not a wild dream of Superhuman Unselfishness. No one will be asked to sacrifice himself for the benefit of others or to love his neighbours better than himself as is the case under the present system, which demands that the majority shall unselfishly be content to labour and live in wretchedness for the benefit of a few. There is no such principle of Philanthropy in Socialism, which simply means that even as all industries are now owned by shareholders, and organized and directed by committees and officers elected by the shareholders, so shall they in future belong to the State, that is, the whole people—and they shall be organized and directed by committees and officers elected by the community.
“It’s not a far-fetched idea of selfless superhuman generosity. No one will be asked to sacrifice themselves for others or to love their neighbors more than themselves, as is the case in the current system, which requires the majority to selflessly accept laboring and living in misery for the benefit of a few. There’s no principle of philanthropy in socialism, which simply means that just as all industries are currently owned by shareholders and organized and directed by committees and officers chosen by the shareholders, they will in the future belong to the state, meaning the entire community—and they will be organized and directed by committees and officers elected by the community.”
“Under existing circumstances the community is exposed to the danger of being invaded and robbed and massacred by some foreign power. Therefore the community has organized and owns and controls an Army and Navy to protect it from that danger. Under existing circumstances the community is menaced by another equally great danger—the people are mentally and physically degenerating from lack of proper food and clothing. Socialists say that the community should undertake and organize the business of producing and distributing all these things; that the State should be the only employer of labour and should own all the factories, mills, mines, farms, railways, fishing fleets, sheep farms, poultry farms and cattle ranches.
“Given the current situation, the community is at risk of being invaded, robbed, and massacred by a foreign power. As a result, the community has organized and controls an Army and Navy to protect itself from this threat. Additionally, the community faces another serious danger—the people are suffering mentally and physically due to a lack of adequate food and clothing. Socialists argue that the community should take charge of producing and distributing these essentials; that the State should be the only employer of labor and should own all factories, mills, mines, farms, railways, fishing fleets, sheep farms, poultry farms, and cattle ranches.”
“Under existing circumstances the community is degenerating mentally and physically because the majority cannot afford to have decent houses to live in. Socialists say that the community should take in hand the business of providing proper houses for all its members, that the State should be the only landlord, that all the land and all the houses should belong to the whole people...
“Given the current situation, the community is declining both mentally and physically because most people can't afford decent housing. Socialists argue that the community should take responsibility for providing proper homes for everyone, that the State should be the sole landlord, and that all land and all houses should belong to the entire population…
“We must do this if we are to keep our old place in the van of human progress. A nation of ignorant, unintelligent, half-starved, broken-spirited degenerates cannot hope to lead humanity in its never-ceasing march onward to the conquest of the future.
“We need to do this if we want to maintain our position at the forefront of human progress. A nation of uninformed, uneducated, undernourished, and demoralized individuals cannot expect to guide humanity in its ongoing journey towards the future.”
“Vain, mightiest fleet of iron framed;
Vain the all-shattering guns
Unless proud England keep, untamed,
The stout hearts of her sons.
“Futile, greatest fleet of iron made;
Futile the destructive guns
Unless proud England holds, unbroken,
The strong hearts of her sons.
“All the evils that I have referred to are only symptoms of the one disease that is sapping the moral, mental and physical life of the nation, and all attempts to cure these symptoms are foredoomed to failure, simply because they are the symptoms and not the disease. All the talk of Temperance, and the attempts to compel temperance, are foredoomed to failure, because drunkenness is a symptom, and not the disease.
“All the problems I've mentioned are just signs of the one issue that's draining the moral, mental, and physical vitality of the nation, and all efforts to address these problems are destined to fail, simply because they are just symptoms and not the actual disease. All the discussions about temperance and the efforts to enforce it are bound to fail, because alcoholism is a symptom, not the disease.”
“India is a rich productive country. Every year millions of pounds worth of wealth are produced by her people, only to be stolen from them by means of the Money Trick by the capitalist and official class. Her industrious sons and daughters, who are nearly all total abstainers, live in abject poverty, and their misery is not caused by laziness or want of thrift, or by Intemperance. They are poor for the same reason that we are poor—Because we are Robbed.
“India is a resource-rich country. Every year, millions of pounds' worth of wealth are generated by its people, only to be taken from them through the Money Trick used by the capitalist and ruling class. Her hardworking sons and daughters, who are almost all total abstainers, live in extreme poverty, and their suffering is not due to laziness, lack of thrift, or intemperance. They are poor for the same reason we are poor—because we are robbed.”
“The hundreds of thousands of pounds that are yearly wasted in well-meant but useless charity accomplish no lasting good, because while charity soothes the symptoms it ignores the disease, which is—the PRIVATE OWNERSHIP of the means of producing the necessaries of life, and the restriction of production, by a few selfish individuals for their own profit. And for that disease there is no other remedy than the one I have told you of—the PUBLIC OWNERSHIP and cultivation of the land, the PUBLIC OWNERSHIP of the mines, railways, canals, ships, factories and all the other means of production, and the establishment of an Industrial Civil Service—a National Army of Industry—for the purpose of producing the necessaries, comforts and refinements of life in that abundance which has been made possible by science and machinery—for the use and benefit of the whole of the people.”
“The hundreds of thousands of pounds wasted each year on well-intentioned but ineffective charity do no lasting good because, while charity addresses the symptoms, it overlooks the root problem, which is the PRIVATE OWNERSHIP of the means of producing life's necessities, and the limitation of production by a few selfish individuals for their own gain. The only solution to this issue is what I have previously mentioned—the PUBLIC OWNERSHIP and farming of land, the PUBLIC OWNERSHIP of mines, railways, canals, ships, factories, and all other means of production, along with the creation of an Industrial Civil Service—a National Army of Industry—to produce the necessities, comforts, and luxuries of life in the abundance that science and machinery have made possible—for the use and benefit of the whole of the people.”
“Yes: and where’s the money to come from for all this?” shouted Crass, fiercely.
“Yes: and where’s the money for all this going to come from?” shouted Crass, angrily.
“Hear, hear,” cried the man behind the moat.
“Hear, hear,” shouted the man behind the moat.
“There’s no money difficulty about it,” replied Barrington. “We can easily find all the money we shall need.”
“Money isn’t an issue,” Barrington said. “We can easily find all the funds we’ll need.”
“Of course,” said Slyme, who had been reading the Daily Ananias, “there’s all the money in the Post Office Savings Bank. The Socialists could steal that for a start; and as for the mines and land and factories, they can all be took from the owners by force.”
“Of course,” said Slyme, who had been reading the Daily Ananias, “there’s all the money in the Post Office Savings Bank. The Socialists could take that to begin with; and as for the mines, land, and factories, they can all be taken from the owners by force.”
“There will be no need for force and no need to steal anything from anybody.”
“There won’t be any need for force and no need to take anything from anyone.”
“And there’s another thing I objects to,” said Crass. “And that’s all this ’ere talk about hignorance: wot about all the money wots spent every year for edication?”
“And there’s another thing I object to,” said Crass. “And that’s all this talk about ignorance: what about all the money that’s spent every year on education?”
“You should rather say—‘What about all the money that’s wasted every year on education?’ What can be more brutal and senseless than trying to ‘educate’ a poor little, hungry, ill-clad child? Such so-called ‘instruction’ is like the seed in the parable of the Sower, which fell on stony ground and withered away because it had no depth of earth; and even in those cases where it does take root and grow, it becomes like the seed that fell among thorns and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it bore no fruit.
“You should rather say—‘What about all the money that gets wasted every year on education?’ What could be more cruel and pointless than trying to ‘educate’ a poor, hungry, poorly dressed child? That so-called ‘instruction’ is like the seed in the parable of the Sower, which fell on rocky ground and withered away because it had no depth of soil; and even in those cases where it does take root and grow, it becomes like the seed that fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, preventing it from bearing any fruit.”
“The majority of us forget in a year or two all that we learnt at school because the conditions of our lives are such as to destroy all inclination for culture or refinement. We must see that the children are properly clothed and fed and that they are not made to get up in the middle of the night to go to work for several hours before they go to school. We must make it illegal for any greedy, heartless profit-hunter to hire them and make them labour for several hours in the evening after school, or all day and till nearly midnight on Saturday. We must first see that our children are cared for, as well as the children of savage races, before we can expect a proper return for the money that we spend on education.”
“The majority of us forget within a year or two everything we learned in school because our life circumstances crush any desire for culture or refinement. We need to ensure that kids are properly clothed and fed and that they aren’t forced to wake up in the middle of the night to work for several hours before school. We must make it illegal for any greedy, heartless profit-seeker to hire them and make them work several hours in the evenings after school, or all day until nearly midnight on Saturdays. We have to prioritize taking care of our children, just like we do for the children of underprivileged groups, before we can expect any real value from the money we put into education.”
“I don’t mind admitting that this ’ere scheme of national ownership and industries is all right if it could only be done,” said Harlow, “but at present, all the land, railways and factories, belongs to private capitalists; they can’t be bought without money, and you say you ain’t goin’ to take ’em away by force, so I should like to know how the bloody ’ell you are goin’ to get ’em?”
“I don't mind saying that this whole idea of national ownership of industries is fine if it could actually happen,” Harlow said, “but right now, all the land, railways, and factories are owned by private capitalists; you can't just buy them without money, and since you say you aren’t going to take them away by force, I’d really like to know how the hell you plan to get them?”
“We certainly don’t propose to buy them with money, for the simple reason that there is not sufficient money in existence to pay for them.
“We definitely don’t plan to buy them with money, simply because there isn’t enough money in existence to pay for them."
“If all the gold and silver money in the World were gathered together into one heap, it would scarcely be sufficient to buy all the private property in England. The people who own all these things now never really paid for them with money—they obtained possession of them by means of the ‘Money Trick’ which Owen explained to us some time ago.”
“If all the gold and silver money in the world were collected into one pile, it would hardly be enough to purchase all the private property in England. The people who own all these things now didn’t actually pay for them with money—they acquired them through what Owen described to us some time ago as the ‘Money Trick.’”
“They obtained possession of them by usin’ their brain,” said Crass. “Exactly,” replied the lecturer. “They tell us themselves that that is how they got them away from us; they call their profits the ‘wages of intelligence’. Whilst we have been working, they have been using their intelligence in order to obtain possession of the things we have created. The time has now arrived for us to use our intelligence in order to get back the things they have robbed us of, and to prevent them from robbing us any more. As for how it is to be done, we might copy the methods that they have found so successful.”
“They got control of those things by using their brains,” said Crass. “Exactly,” replied the lecturer. “They tell us that’s how they took them from us; they call their profits the ‘wages of intelligence’. While we’ve been working, they’ve been using their intelligence to take possession of what we’ve created. The time has come for us to use our intelligence to reclaim what they’ve stolen from us and to stop them from robbing us further. As for how to do it, we could adopt the methods they’ve found so effective.”
“Oh, then you DO mean to rob them after all,” cried Slyme, triumphantly. “If it’s true that they robbed the workers, and if we’re to adopt the same method then we’ll be robbers too!”
“Oh, so you DO plan to rob them after all,” Slyme exclaimed triumphantly. “If it’s true that they cheated the workers, and if we’re going to use the same approach, then we’ll be robbers too!”
“When a thief is caught having in his possession the property of others it is not robbery to take the things away from him and to restore them to their rightful owners,” retorted Barrington.
“When a thief is caught with someone else's property, it’s not considered robbery to take those things from him and give them back to their rightful owners,” Barrington shot back.
“I can’t allow this ’ere disorder to go on no longer,” shouted Philpot, banging the table with the plumber’s hammer as several men began talking at the same time.
“I can’t let this disorder continue any longer,” shouted Philpot, slamming the table with the plumber’s hammer as several men started talking all at once.
“There will be plenty of tuneropperty for questions and opposition at the hend of the horation, when the pulpit will be throwed open to anyone as likes to debate the question. I now calls upon the professor to proceed with the second part of the horation: and anyone wot interrupts will get a lick under the ear-’ole with this”—waving the hammer—“and the body will be chucked out of the bloody winder.”
“There will be plenty of opportunities for questions and disagreement at the end of the speech, when the pulpit will be open to anyone who wants to debate the topic. I now call upon the professor to continue with the second part of the speech; anyone who interrupts will get a hit under the ear with this”—waving the hammer—“and the person will be thrown out of the window.”
Loud cheers greeted this announcement. It was still raining heavily, so they thought they might as well pass the time listening to Barrington as in any other way.
Loud cheers followed this announcement. It was still pouring rain, so they figured they might as well spend the time listening to Barrington like they would in any other way.
“A large part of the land may be got back in the same way as it was taken from us. The ancestors of the present holders obtained possession of it by simply passing Acts of Enclosure: the nation should regain possession of those lands by passing Acts of Resumption. And with regard to the other land, the present holders should be allowed to retain possession of it during their lives and then it should revert to the State, to be used for the benefit of all. Britain should belong to the British people, not to a few selfish individuals. As for the railways, they have already been nationalized in some other countries, and what other countries can do we can do also. In New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, Germany, Belgium, Italy, Japan and some other countries some of the railways are already the property of the State. As for the method by which we can obtain possession of them, the difficulty is not to discover a method, but rather to decide which of many methods we shall adopt. One method would be to simply pass an Act declaring that as it was contrary to the public interest that they should be owned by private individuals, the railways would henceforth be the property of the nation. All railways servants, managers and officials would continue in their employment; the only difference being that they would now be in the employ of the State. As to the shareholders—”
“A large part of the land can be reclaimed just like it was taken from us. The ancestors of the current landowners acquired it by passing Acts of Enclosure; the nation should reclaim those lands by passing Acts of Resumption. As for the other land, the current owners should be allowed to keep it for their lifetime, after which it should go back to the State to benefit everyone. Britain should belong to the British people, not to a few greedy individuals. Regarding the railways, they have already been nationalized in other countries, and what other nations can do, we can do as well. In New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, Germany, Belgium, Italy, Japan, and some other nations, some railways already belong to the State. The challenge isn't figuring out how to take them back, but rather deciding which of the many methods we should choose. One approach could be to pass a law stating that it’s against the public interest for them to be owned by private individuals, so the railways would now belong to the nation. All railway workers, managers, and officials would keep their jobs; the only change would be that they would now work for the State. As for the shareholders—”
“They could all be knocked on the ’ead, I suppose,” interrupted Crass.
“They could all be knocked on the head, I guess,” interrupted Crass.
“Or go to the workhouse,” said Slyme.
“Or go to the workhouse,” Slyme said.
“Or to ’ell,” suggested the man behind the moat.
“Or to hell,” suggested the man behind the moat.
“—The State would continue to pay to the shareholders the same dividends they had received on an average for, say, the previous three years. These payments would be continued to the present shareholders for life, or the payments might be limited to a stated number of years and the shares would be made non-transferable, like the railway tickets of today. As for the factories, shops, and other means of production and distribution, the State must adopt the same methods of doing business as the present owners. I mean that even as the big Trusts and companies are crushing—by competition—the individual workers and small traders, so the State should crush the trusts by competition. It is surely justifiable for the State to do for the benefit of the whole people that which the capitalists are already doing for the profit of a few shareholders. The first step in this direction will be the establishment of Retail Stores for the purpose of supplying all national and municipal employees with the necessaries of life at the lowest possible prices. At first the Administration will purchase these things from the private manufacturers, in such large quantities that it will be able to obtain them at the very cheapest rate, and as there will be no heavy rents to pay for showy shops, and no advertising expenses, and as the object of the Administration will be not to make profit, but to supply its workmen and officials with goods at the lowest price, they will be able to sell them much cheaper than the profit-making private stores.
“The State would keep paying shareholders the same dividends they’ve received on average for, say, the past three years. These payments would continue for the current shareholders for life, or they might be limited to a set number of years, and the shares would be made non-transferable, like today’s railway tickets. Regarding factories, shops, and other means of production and distribution, the State must use the same business methods as the current owners. Just as the big Trusts and companies are pushing out individual workers and small traders through competition, the State should push back against the trusts through competition. It’s surely justified for the State to do for the benefit of everyone what the capitalists are already doing for the profit of a few shareholders. The first step in this direction would be to set up Retail Stores to provide all national and municipal employees with the essentials of life at the lowest possible prices. Initially, the Administration will buy these items from private manufacturers in such large quantities that it can get them at the cheapest rates. Since there won’t be heavy rents for flashy shops or advertising costs, and since the Administration’s goal will be to not make a profit but to provide its workers and officials with goods at the lowest prices, they will be able to sell them much cheaper than profit-driven private stores.”
“The National Service Retail Stores will be for the benefit of only those in the public service; and gold, silver or copper money will not be accepted in payment for the things sold. At first, all public servants will continue to be paid in metal money, but those who desire it will be paid all or part of their wages in paper money of the same nominal value, which will be accepted in payment for their purchases at the National Stores and at the National Hotels, Restaurants and other places which will be established for the convenience of those in the State service. The money will resemble bank-notes. It will be made of a special very strong paper, and will be of all value, from a penny to a pound.
“The National Service Retail Stores will serve only those in public service, and gold, silver, or copper coins will not be accepted as payment for items sold. Initially, all public servants will continue to receive their salaries in metal coins, but those who want it will be able to receive all or part of their wages in paper money of the same value. This paper money will be accepted for purchases at the National Stores, as well as at National Hotels, Restaurants, and other locations set up for the convenience of State service employees. The money will look like banknotes. It will be made of a special, very durable paper and will come in values ranging from a penny to a pound.”
“As the National Service Stores will sell practically everything that could be obtained elsewhere, and as twenty shillings in paper money will be able to purchase much more at the stores than twenty shillings of metal money would purchase anywhere else, it will not be long before nearly all public servants will prefer to be paid in paper money. As far as paying the salaries and wages of most of its officials and workmen is concerned, the Administration will not then have any need of metal money. But it will require metal money to pay the private manufacturers who supply the goods sold in the National Stores. But—all these things are made by labour; so in order to avoid having to pay metal money for them, the State will now commence to employ productive labour. All the public land suitable for the purpose will be put into cultivation and State factories will be established for manufacturing food, boots, clothing, furniture and all other necessaries and comforts of life. All those who are out of employment and willing to work, will be given employment on these farms and in these factories. In order that the men employed shall not have to work unpleasantly hard, and that their hours of labour may be as short as possible—at first, say, eight hours per day—and also to make sure that the greatest possible quantity of everything shall be produced, these factories and farms will be equipped with the most up-to-date and efficient labour-saving machinery. The people employed in the farms and factories will be paid with paper money... The commodities they produce will go to replenish the stocks of the National Service Stores, where the workers will be able to purchase with their paper money everything they need.
“As the National Service Stores will sell almost everything that can be found elsewhere, and since twenty shillings in paper money will buy much more at the stores than twenty shillings in metal money would buy anywhere else, it won't be long before nearly all public servants will prefer to be paid in paper money. In terms of paying the salaries and wages of most of its officials and workers, the Administration won't need metal money. However, it will need metal money to pay the private manufacturers who supply the goods sold in the National Stores. But—all these goods are produced by labor; so to avoid having to pay in metal money for them, the State will now start employing productive labor. All available public land will be cultivated, and State factories will be established to produce food, boots, clothing, furniture, and all other necessities and comforts of life. Those who are unemployed and willing to work will be given jobs on these farms and in these factories. To ensure that employees do not have to work too hard and that their working hours are as short as possible—initially, say, eight hours a day—and to maximize production, these factories and farms will be equipped with the latest and most efficient labor-saving machinery. The people working on the farms and in the factories will be paid with paper money... The goods they produce will replenish the stock of the National Service Stores, where the workers can buy everything they need with their paper money.”
“As we shall employ the greatest possible number of labour-saving machines, and adopt the most scientific methods in our farms and factories, the quantities of goods we shall be able to produce will be so enormous that we shall be able to pay our workers very high wages—in paper money—and we shall be able to sell our produce so cheaply, that all public servants will be able to enjoy abundance of everything.
“As we use as many labor-saving machines as possible and implement the most efficient methods in our farms and factories, the amount of goods we’ll produce will be so vast that we’ll be able to pay our workers very high wages—in paper money—and we’ll be able to sell our products so cheaply that all public servants will be able to enjoy plenty of everything.”
“When the workers who are being exploited and sweated by the private capitalists realize how much worse off they are than the workers in the employ of the State, they will come and ask to be allowed to work for the State, and also, for paper money. That will mean that the State Army of Productive Workers will be continually increasing in numbers. More State factories will be built, more land will be put into cultivation. Men will be given employment making bricks, woodwork, paints, glass, wallpapers and all kinds of building materials and others will be set to work building—on State land—beautiful houses, which will be let to those employed in the service of the State. The rent will be paid with paper money.
“When the workers who are being exploited and overworked by private capitalists realize how much worse off they are compared to the workers employed by the State, they will come and ask to work for the State and also for paper money. This will mean that the State Army of Productive Workers will continually grow in number. More State factories will be built, and more land will be cultivated. People will be hired to make bricks, woodwork, paints, glass, wallpapers, and all types of building materials, while others will be tasked with constructing beautiful houses on State land, which will be rented to those working in State service. The rent will be paid with paper money."
“State fishing fleets will be established and the quantities of commodities of all kinds produced will be so great that the State employees and officials will not be able to use it all. With their paper money they will be able to buy enough and more than enough to satisfy all their needs abundantly, but there will still be a great and continuously increasing surplus stock in the possession of the State.
“State fishing fleets will be set up, and the amount of resources produced will be so large that State employees and officials won’t be able to use it all. With their paper money, they’ll be able to buy enough and more than enough to meet all their needs abundantly, but there will still be a significant and ever-growing surplus stored by the State.”
“The Socialist Administration will now acquire or build fleets of steam trading vessels, which will of course be manned and officered by State employees—the same as the Royal Navy is now. These fleets of National trading vessels will carry the surplus stocks I have mentioned, to foreign countries, and will there sell or exchange them for some of the products of those countries, things that we do not produce ourselves. These things will be brought to England and sold at the National Service Stores, at the lowest possible price, for paper money, to those in the service of the State. This of course will only have the effect of introducing greater variety into the stocks—it will not diminish the surplus: and as there would be no sense in continuing to produce more of these things than necessary, it would then be the duty of the Administration to curtail or restrict production of the necessaries of life. This could be done by reducing the hours of the workers without reducing their wages so as to enable them to continue to purchase as much as before.
“The Socialist Administration will now acquire or build fleets of steam trading vessels, which will be staffed and managed by State employees, just like the Royal Navy is today. These fleets of national trading vessels will transport the surplus stocks I mentioned to foreign countries, where they will sell or exchange them for products that we don't produce ourselves. These items will be brought to England and sold at the National Service Stores at the lowest possible price, for paper money, to those who serve the State. This will only serve to introduce more variety into the stocks—it won't reduce the surplus: and since there would be no point in continuing to produce more of these items than necessary, it will then be the Administration's responsibility to limit or cut back production of essential goods. This could be achieved by reducing workers' hours without lowering their wages, so they can still afford to buy as much as before.”
“Another way of preventing over production of mere necessaries and comforts will be to employ a large number of workers producing the refinements and pleasures of life, more artistic houses, furniture, pictures, musical instruments and so forth.
“Another way to prevent overproduction of just basic necessities and comforts is to hire a lot of workers to create the finer things and pleasures in life, like more artistic houses, furniture, artwork, musical instruments, and so on.”
“In the centre of every district a large Institute or pleasure house could be erected, containing a magnificently appointed and decorated theatre; Concert Hall, Lecture Hall, Gymnasium, Billiard Rooms, Reading Rooms, Refreshment Rooms, and so on. A detachment of the Industrial Army would be employed as actors, artistes, musicians, singers and entertainers. In fact everyone that could be spared from the most important work of all—that of producing the necessaries of life—would be employed in creating pleasure, culture, and education. All these people—like the other branches of the public service—would be paid with paper money, and with it all of them would be able to purchase abundance of all those things which constitute civilization.
“In the center of every district, a large institute or recreational center could be built, featuring a beautifully designed theater, concert hall, lecture hall, gym, billiard rooms, reading rooms, refreshment areas, and more. A group from the Industrial Army would serve as actors, artists, musicians, singers, and entertainers. In fact, everyone who could be spared from the most important job of all—producing the essentials of life—would be engaged in providing pleasure, culture, and education. All these individuals, like other public service workers, would be paid with paper money, which would allow them to buy plenty of all the things that make up civilization.
“Meanwhile, as a result of all this, the kind-hearted private employers and capitalists would find that no one would come and work for them to be driven and bullied and sweated for a miserable trifle of metal money that is scarcely enough to purchase sufficient of the necessaries of life to keep body and soul together.
“Meanwhile, because of all this, the kind-hearted private employers and capitalists would discover that no one wanted to come work for them just to be pushed around, mistreated, and overworked for a tiny amount of money that’s barely enough to buy the essentials needed to survive.”
“These kind-hearted capitalists will protest against what they will call the unfair competition of State industry, and some of them may threaten to leave the country and take their capital with them... As most of these persons are too lazy to work, and as we will not need their money, we shall be very glad to see them go. But with regard to their real capital—their factories, farms, mines or machinery—that will be a different matter... To allow these things to remain idle and unproductive would constitute an injury to the community. So a law will be passed, declaring that all land not cultivated by the owner, or any factory shut down for more than a specified time, will be taken possession of by the State and worked for the benefit of the community... Fair compensation will be paid in paper money to the former owners, who will be granted an income or pension of so much a year either for life or for a stated period according to circumstances and the ages of the persons concerned.
“These compassionate capitalists will protest against what they will call unfair competition from state-run industries, and some of them may threaten to leave the country with their investments... Since most of these individuals are too unwilling to work, and since we won’t need their money, we’ll be quite happy to see them go. But regarding their real assets—like their factories, farms, mines, or machinery—that’s a different story... Allowing these resources to sit idle and unproductive would harm the community. Therefore, a law will be enacted stating that any land not farmed by the owner or any factory that remains closed for more than a specified period will be taken over by the state and utilized for the community’s benefit... Fair compensation will be provided in paper currency to the former owners, who will receive an annual income or pension for life or for a set period depending on circumstances and the ages of those involved.”
“As for the private traders, the wholesale and retail dealers in the things produced by labour, they will be forced by the State competition to close down their shops and warehouses—first, because they will not be able to replenish their stocks; and, secondly, because even if they were able to do so, they would not be able to sell them. This will throw out of work a great host of people who are at present engaged in useless occupations; the managers and assistants in the shops of which we now see half a dozen of the same sort in a single street; the thousands of men and women who are slaving away their lives producing advertisements, for, in most cases, a miserable pittance of metal money, with which many of them are unable to procure sufficient of the necessaries of life to secure them from starvation.
“As for the private traders, the wholesale and retail sellers of goods created through labor, they will be forced by competition from the State to shut down their shops and warehouses—first, because they won’t be able to restock their inventory; and second, because even if they could, they wouldn’t be able to sell anything. This will put a lot of people out of work who are currently stuck in pointless jobs; the managers and assistants in stores, where we often see multiple shops of the same kind on a single street; the thousands of men and women toiling away to produce advertisements, often for a small amount of money, which many of them can’t use to buy enough basic necessities to avoid starvation."
“The masons, carpenters, painters, glaziers, and all the others engaged in maintaining these unnecessary stores and shops will all be thrown out of employment, but all of them who are willing to work will be welcomed by the State and will be at once employed helping either to produce or distribute the necessaries and comforts of life. They will have to work fewer hours than before... They will not have to work so hard—for there will be no need to drive or bully, because there will be plenty of people to do the work, and most of it will be done by machinery—and with their paper money they will be able to buy abundance of the things they help to produce. The shops and stores where these people were formerly employed will be acquired by the State, which will pay the former owners fair compensation in the same manner as to the factory owners. Some of the buildings will be utilized by the State as National Service Stores, others transformed into factories and others will be pulled down to make room for dwellings, or public buildings... It will be the duty of the Government to build a sufficient number of houses to accommodate the families of all those in its employment, and as a consequence of this and because of the general disorganization and decay of what is now called ‘business’, all other house property of all kinds will rapidly depreciate in value. The slums and the wretched dwellings now occupied by the working classes—the miserable, uncomfortable, jerry-built ‘villas’ occupied by the lower middle classes and by ‘business’ people, will be left empty and valueless upon the hands of their rack renting landlords, who will very soon voluntarily offer to hand them and the ground they stand upon to the state on the same terms as those accorded to the other property owners, namely—in return for a pension. Some of these people will be content to live in idleness on the income allowed them for life as compensation by the State: others will devote themselves to art or science and some others will offer their services to the community as managers and superintendents, and the State will always be glad to employ all those who are willing to help in the Great Work of production and distribution.
“The masons, carpenters, painters, glaziers, and everyone else working in these unnecessary stores and shops will all lose their jobs, but those who want to work will be welcomed by the State and will be quickly employed to help either produce or distribute the essentials and comforts of life. They will have to work fewer hours than before... They won’t have to work as hard—there won’t be a need to push or pressure anyone, because there will be plenty of people available to do the work, and most of it will be done by machines—and with their paper money, they will be able to buy plenty of the things they help produce. The shops and stores where these people were previously employed will be taken over by the State, which will compensate the former owners fairly, just like with the factory owners. Some buildings will be used by the State as National Service Stores, others turned into factories, and some will be demolished to make space for homes or public buildings... It will be the responsibility of the Government to construct enough houses for the families of all those it employs, and as a result of this, along with the overall disruption and decline of what’s currently called ‘business’, all other types of property will quickly lose value. The slums and the terrible homes now occupied by the working class—the miserable, uncomfortable, poorly built ‘villas’ occupied by the lower middle class and ‘business’ people—will be left vacant and worthless to their greedy landlords, who will soon willingly offer to hand them over to the State on the same terms as the other property owners, that is—in exchange for a pension. Some of these individuals will be happy to live in comfort on the income provided for life as compensation by the State; others will turn to art or science, and some will volunteer as managers and supervisors, with the State always eager to employ those willing to contribute to the Great Work of production and distribution.
“By this time the nation will be the sole employer of labour, and as no one will be able to procure the necessaries of life without paper money, and as the only way to obtain this will be working, it will mean that every mentally and physically capable person in the community will be helping in the great work of PRODUCTION and DISTRIBUTION. We shall not need as at present, to maintain a police force to protect the property of the idle rich from the starving wretches whom they have robbed. There will be no unemployed and no overlapping of labour, which will be organized and concentrated for the accomplishment of the only rational object—the creation of the things we require... For every one labour-saving machine in use today, we will, if necessary, employ a thousand machines! and consequently there will be produced such a stupendous, enormous, prodigious, overwhelming abundance of everything that soon the Community will be faced once more with the serious problem of OVER-PRODUCTION.
“By this time, the nation will be the only employer of labor, and since no one will be able to get the essentials of life without paper money, and the only way to earn this will be through work, it will mean that every mentally and physically capable person in the community will be contributing to the significant task of PRODUCTION and DISTRIBUTION. We won’t need, as we do now, to have a police force to protect the wealth of the idle rich from the starving people they have exploited. There will be no unemployment and no duplication of labor, which will be organized and focused on achieving the only sensible goal—the creation of the things we need... For every labor-saving machine in use today, we will, if necessary, employ a thousand machines! Consequently, there will be such an incredible, immense, overwhelming abundance of everything that soon the Community will once again face the serious issue of OVER-PRODUCTION.”
“To deal with this, it will be necessary to reduce the hours of our workers to four or five hours a day... All young people will be allowed to continue at public schools and universities and will not be required to take any part in the work or the nation until they are twenty-one years of age. At the age of forty-five, everyone will be allowed to retire from the State service on full pay... All these will be able to spend the rest of their days according to their own inclinations; some will settle down quietly at home, and amuse themselves in the same ways as people of wealth and leisure do at the present day—with some hobby, or by taking part in the organization of social functions, such as balls, parties, entertainments, the organization of Public Games and Athletic Tournaments, Races and all kinds of sports.
“To handle this, we need to cut our workers' hours to four or five a day... All young people will be allowed to continue in public schools and universities and won’t have to participate in work or national duties until they turn twenty-one. At forty-five, everyone will be able to retire from government jobs with full pay... They will be free to spend the rest of their lives however they choose; some will settle down at home and entertain themselves in the same ways as wealthy and leisurely people do today—with hobbies or by organizing social events like balls, parties, entertainment, public games, athletic tournaments, races, and all kinds of sports.”
“Some will prefer to continue in the service of the State. Actors, artists, sculptors, musicians and others will go on working for their own pleasure and honour... Some will devote their leisure to science, art, or literature. Others will prefer to travel on the State steamships to different parts of the world to see for themselves all those things of which most of us have now but a dim and vague conception. The wonders of India and Egypt, the glories of Rome, the artistic treasures of the continent and the sublime scenery of other lands.
“Some will choose to keep working for the government. Actors, artists, sculptors, musicians, and others will continue to create for their enjoyment and recognition... Some will dedicate their free time to science, art, or literature. Others will opt to travel on the government steamships to various parts of the world to experience firsthand all the things that most of us can only vaguely imagine. The wonders of India and Egypt, the glories of Rome, the artistic treasures of the continent, and the breathtaking scenery of other countries.”
“Thus—for the first time in the history of humanity—the benefits and pleasures conferred upon mankind by science and civilization will be enjoyed equally by all, upon the one condition, that they shall do their share of the work, that is necessary in order to make all these things possible.
“Thus—for the first time in human history—the benefits and pleasures brought to humanity by science and civilization will be enjoyed equally by everyone, as long as they contribute their fair share of the work needed to make all of this possible.
“These are the principles upon which the CO-OPERATIVE COMMONWEALTH of the future will be organized. The State in which no one will be distinguished or honoured above his fellows except for Virtue or Talent. Where no man will find his profit in another’s loss, and we shall no longer be masters and servants, but brothers, free men, and friends. Where there will be no weary, broken men and women passing their joyless lives in toil and want, and no little children crying because they are hungry or cold.
“These are the principles on which the CO-OPERATIVE COMMONWEALTH of the future will be built. A State where no one will be recognized or celebrated above others except for their Virtue or Talent. A place where no one profits from another’s hardship, and we will no longer be masters and servants, but brothers, free individuals, and friends. A society without exhausted, broken men and women living joyless lives of struggle and need, and without little children crying because they are hungry or cold.”
“A State wherein it will be possible to put into practice the teachings of Him whom so many now pretend to follow. A society which shall have justice and co-operation for its foundation, and International Brotherhood and love for its law.
“A society where it will be possible to put into practice the teachings of Him whom so many now claim to follow. A community built on justice and cooperation as its foundation, and international brotherhood and love as its guiding principles.”
“Such are the days that shall be! but
What are the deeds of today,
In the days of the years we dwell in,
That wear our lives away?
Why, then, and for what we are waiting?
There are but three words to speak
‘We will it,’ and what is the foreman
but the dream strong wakened and weak?
“Oh, why and for what are we waiting, while
our brothers droop and die?
And on every wind of the heavens, a
wasted life goes by.
“How long shall they reproach us, where
crowd on crowd they dwell
Poor ghosts of the wicked city,
gold crushed, hungry hell?
“Through squalid life they laboured in
sordid grief they died
Those sons of a mighty mother, those
props of England’s pride.
They are gone, there is none can undo
it, nor save our souls from the curse,
But many a million cometh, and shall
they be better or worse?
“Such are the days that will come! But
What are the actions of today,
In the years we live in,
That wear our lives away?
So why are we waiting?
There are just three words to say:
‘We will it,’ and what is the leader
but the dream, strong when awake and weak?
“Oh, why and for what are we waiting, while
our brothers fade and die?
And on every breeze of the heavens, a
wasted life passes by.
“How long will they mock us, where
crowd upon crowd they dwell
Poor ghosts of the wicked city,
gold crushed, hungry hell?
“Through miserable lives they labored in
sordid grief they died
Those sons of a mighty mother, those
supports of England’s pride.
They are gone, and no one can undo
it, nor save our souls from the curse,
But many millions will come, and shall
they be better or worse?
“It is We must answer and hasten and open wide the door,
For the rich man’s hurrying terror, and the slow foot hope of the poor,
Yea, the voiceless wrath of the wretched and their unlearned discontent,
We must give it voice and wisdom, till the waiting tide be spent
Come then since all things call us, the living and the dead,
And o’er the weltering tangle a glimmering light is shed.”
“We must respond quickly and open the door wide,
For the rich man's rushing fear, and the slow hope of the poor,
Yes, the silent anger of the miserable and their uneducated discontent,
We must give it a voice and understanding, until the waiting tide is gone.
Come then, since everything is calling us, the living and the dead,
And over the chaotic mess, a glimmering light shines.”
As Barrington descended from the Pulpit and walked back to his accustomed seat, a loud shout of applause burst from a few men in the crowd, who stood up and waved their caps and cheered again and again. When order was restored, Philpot rose and addressed the meeting:
As Barrington stepped down from the Pulpit and made his way back to his usual seat, a loud cheer erupted from a few men in the crowd, who stood up, waved their hats, and cheered over and over. Once order was restored, Philpot stood up and spoke to the audience:
“Is there any gentleman wot would like to ask the Speaker a question?”
“Is there any gentleman who would like to ask the Speaker a question?”
No one spoke and the Chairman again put the question without obtaining any response, but at length one of the new hands who had been “taken on” about a week previously to replace another painter who had been sacked for being too slow—stood up and said there was one point that he would like a little more information about. This man had two patches on the seat of his trousers, which were also very much frayed and ragged at the bottoms of the legs: the lining of his coat was all in rags, as were also the bottoms of the sleeves; his boots were old and had been many times mended and patched; the sole of one of them had begun to separate from the upper and he had sewn these parts together with a few stitches of copper wire. He had been out of employment for several weeks and it was evident from the pinched expression of his still haggard face that during that time he had not had sufficient to eat. This man was not a drunkard, neither was he one of those semi-mythical persons who are too lazy to work. He was married and had several children. One of them, a boy of fourteen years old, earned five shillings a week as a light porter at a Grocer’s.
No one said anything, and the Chairman asked the question again without getting a response. Finally, one of the new guys who had been hired about a week ago to replace another painter who got fired for being too slow stood up and said there was one thing he wanted more information on. This man had two patches on the seat of his pants, which were also very frayed and ragged at the bottoms of the legs. The lining of his coat was in tatters, as were the bottoms of the sleeves. His boots were old and had been patched up many times; the sole of one had started to come apart from the upper part, and he had stitched them together with a few pieces of copper wire. He had been out of work for several weeks, and it was clear from the tight look on his still tired face that he hadn’t eaten enough during that time. This man was not a drunk, nor was he one of those semi-mythical people who are too lazy to work. He was married and had several children. One of them, a fourteen-year-old boy, earned five shillings a week as a light porter at a grocery store.
Being a householder the man had a vote, but he had never hitherto taken much interest in what he called “politics”. In his opinion, those matters were not for the likes of him. He believed in leaving such difficult subjects to be dealt with by his betters. In his present unhappy condition he was a walking testimonial to the wisdom and virtue and benevolence of those same “betters” who have hitherto managed the affairs of the world with results so very satisfactory for themselves.
Being a homeowner, the man had a vote, but he had never really cared much about what he called “politics.” In his view, those issues weren't meant for people like him. He thought it was best to leave such complicated topics to his supposed superiors. In his current unhappy state, he was a living example of the wisdom, virtue, and kindness of those same “superiors” who had previously run the world's affairs with results that were very satisfactory for themselves.
“I should like to ask the speaker,” he said, “supposin’ all this that ’e talks about is done—what’s to become of the King, and the Royal Family, and all the Big Pots?”
“I would like to ask the speaker,” he said, “assuming everything he talks about actually happens—what will happen to the King, the Royal Family, and all the important people?”
“’Ear, ’ear,” cried Crass, eagerly—and Ned Dawson and the man behind the moat both said that that was what they would like to know, too.
“Hey, hey,” shouted Crass, excitedly—and Ned Dawson and the guy behind the moat both said that’s what they wanted to know as well.
“I am much more concerned about what is to become of ourselves if these things are not done,” replied Barrington. “I think we should try to cultivate a little more respect of our own families and to concern ourselves a little less about ‘Royal’ Families. I fail to see any reason why we should worry ourselves about those people; they’re all right—they have all they need, and as far as I am aware, nobody wishes to harm them and they are well able to look after themselves. They will fare the same as the other rich people.”
“I’m much more worried about what’s going to happen to us if we don’t take action,” Barrington replied. “I think we should work on showing a bit more respect for our own families and care a little less about ‘Royal’ Families. I really don’t see why we should be concerned about them; they’re doing just fine—they have everything they need, and as far as I know, no one wants to hurt them, and they can take care of themselves. They’ll end up fine, just like other rich people.”
“I should like to ask,” said Harlow, “wot’s to become of all the gold and silver and copper money? Wouldn’t it be of no use at all?”
“I’d like to ask,” said Harlow, “what’s going to happen to all the gold, silver, and copper coins? Wouldn’t they be completely useless?”
“It would be of far more use under Socialism than it is at present. The State would of course become possessed of a large quantity of it in the early stages of the development of the Socialist system, because—at first—while the State would be paying all its officers and productive workers in paper, the rest of the community—those not in State employ—would be paying their taxes in gold as at present. All travellers on the State railways—other than State employees—would pay their fares in metal money, and gold and silver would pour into the State Treasury from many other sources. The State would receive gold and silver and—for the most part—pay out paper. By the time the system of State employment was fully established, gold and silver would only be of value as metal and the State would purchase it from whoever possessed and wished to sell it—at so much per pound as raw material: instead of hiding it away in the vaults of banks, or locking it up in iron safes, we shall make use of it. Some of the gold will be manufactured into articles of jewellery, to be sold for paper money and worn by the sweethearts and wives and daughters of the workers; some of it will be beaten out into gold leaf to be used in the decoration of the houses of the citizens and of public buildings. As for the silver, it will be made into various articles of utility for domestic use. The workers will not then, as now, have to eat their food with poisonous lead or brass spoons and forks, we shall have these things of silver and if there is not enough silver we shall probably have a non-poisonous alloy of that metal.”
“It would be way more useful under Socialism than it is now. The State would, of course, acquire a large amount of it in the early stages of the Socialist system because—initially—while the State would be paying all its officials and productive workers in paper money, the rest of the community—those not working for the State—would still pay their taxes in gold like they do now. All travelers on the State railways—aside from State employees—would pay their fares in coins, and gold and silver would flow into the State Treasury from many other sources. The State would collect gold and silver and mostly pay out paper money. By the time the State employment system is fully established, gold and silver would only have value as metal, and the State would buy it from anyone who wants to sell it—at a certain rate per pound as raw material: instead of stashing it away in bank vaults or locking it up in safes, we will put it to use. Some of the gold will be made into jewelry, which will be sold for paper money and worn by the sweethearts, wives, and daughters of the workers; some will be flattened into gold leaf for decorating the homes of citizens and public buildings. As for the silver, it will be crafted into various useful items for home use. The workers won’t have to eat with harmful lead or brass spoons and forks anymore; we’ll have these things made of silver, and if there isn’t enough silver, we’ll probably create a safe alloy of that metal.”
“As far as I can make out,” said Harlow, “the paper money will be just as valuable as gold and silver is now. Well, wot’s to prevent artful dodgers like old Misery and Rushton saving it up and buying and selling things with it, and so livin’ without work?”
“As far as I can tell,” said Harlow, “the paper money will be just as valuable as gold and silver are now. Well, what’s to stop clever schemers like old Misery and Rushton from saving it up and buying and selling things with it, and so living without working?”
“Of course,” said Crass, scornfully. “It would never do!”
“Of course,” Crass said with disdain. “That would never work!”
“That’s a very simple matter; any man who lives without doing any useful work is living on the labour of others, he is robbing others of part of the result of their labour. The object of Socialism is to stop this robbery, to make it impossible. So no one will be able to hoard up or accumulate the paper money because it will be dated, and will become worthless if it is not spent within a certain time after its issue. As for buying and selling for profit—from whom would they buy? And to whom would they sell?”
"That's a pretty straightforward issue; anyone who lives without contributing useful work is living off the efforts of others, essentially stealing a portion of their hard work. The goal of Socialism is to put an end to this theft and make it impossible. So, nobody will be able to hoard or accumulate paper money because it will have an expiration date and lose its value if it's not spent within a specific timeframe after it's issued. As for making profits from buying and selling—who would they buy from? And who would they sell to?"
“Well, they might buy some of the things the workers didn’t want, for less than the workers paid for them, and then they could sell ’em again.”
“Well, they might buy some of the stuff the workers didn't want, for less than what the workers paid for it, and then they could sell it again.”
“They’d have to sell them for less than the price charged at the National Stores, and if you think about it a little you’ll see that it would not be very profitable. It would be with the object of preventing any attempts at private trading that the Administration would refuse to pay compensation to private owners in a lump sum. All such compensations would be paid, as I said, in the form of a pension of so much per year.
“They’d have to sell them for less than what the National Stores charge, and if you think about it a bit, you’ll realize that it wouldn’t be very profitable. The Administration would refuse to pay private owners a one-time compensation to prevent any attempts at private trading. Instead, all such compensations would be paid, as I mentioned, as an annual pension.”
“Another very effective way to prevent private trading would be to make it a criminal offence against the well-being of the community. At present many forms of business are illegal unless you take out a licence; under Socialism no one would be allowed to trade without a licence, and no licences would be issued.”
“Another very effective way to stop private trading would be to make it a crime that harms the community. Right now, many types of business are illegal unless you get a license; under Socialism, no one would be allowed to trade without a license, and no licenses would be given out.”
“Wouldn’t a man be allowed to save up his money if he wanted to,” demanded Slyme with indignation.
“Isn't a man allowed to save his money if he wants to?” Slyme demanded with frustration.
“There will be nothing to prevent a man going without some of the things he might have if he is foolish enough to do so, but he would never be able to save up enough to avoid doing his share of useful service. Besides, what need would there be for anyone to save? One’s old age would be provided for. No one could ever be out of employment. If one was ill the State hospitals and Medical Service would be free. As for one’s children, they would attend the State Free Schools and Colleges and when of age they would enter the State Service, their futures provided for. Can you tell us why anyone would need or wish to save?”
“There’s nothing stopping a person from going without some things they could have if they’re foolish enough to do so, but they’d never be able to save enough to skip out on doing their share of useful work. Besides, why would anyone need to save? Old age would be taken care of. No one would ever be unemployed. If someone got sick, the state hospitals and medical services would be free. As for one’s children, they’d go to the state-funded schools and colleges, and when they’re of age, they’d join the state service, with their futures secured. Can you explain why anyone would need or want to save?”
Slyme couldn’t.
Slyme couldn't.
“Are there any more questions?” demanded Philpot.
“Are there any more questions?” Philpot asked.
“While we are speaking of money,” added Barrington, “I should like to remind you that even under the present system there are many things which cost money to maintain, that we enjoy without having to pay for directly. The public roads and pavements cost money to make and maintain and light. So do the parks, museums and bridges. But they are free to all. Under a Socialist Administration this principle will be extended—in addition to the free services we enjoy now we shall then maintain the trains and railways for the use of the public, free. And as time goes on, this method of doing business will be adopted in many other directions.”
“Since we're talking about money,” Barrington added, “I want to point out that even with the current system, there are many things that cost money to keep up, but we enjoy them without having to pay directly. The public roads, sidewalks, and streetlights all require funding to build and maintain. So do the parks, museums, and bridges. But they’re free for everyone. Under a Socialist Administration, this idea will be expanded—along with the free services we currently have, we will also provide trains and railways for public use at no cost. And as time goes on, this way of doing things will be adopted in many other areas.”
“I’ve read somewhere,” said Harlow, “that whenever a Government in any country has started issuing paper money it has always led to bankruptcy. How do you know that the same thing would not happen under a Socialist Administration?”
“I’ve read somewhere,” said Harlow, “that whenever a government in any country starts issuing paper money, it always leads to bankruptcy. How do you know the same thing wouldn’t happen under a Socialist Administration?”
“’Ear, ’ear,” said Crass. “I was just goin’ to say the same thing.”
“Hey, hey,” said Crass. “I was just about to say the same thing.”
“If the Government of a country began to issue large amounts of paper money under the present system,” Barrington replied, “it would inevitably lead to bankruptcy, for the simple reason that paper money under the present system—bank-notes, bank drafts, postal orders, cheques or any other form—is merely a printed promise to pay the amount—in gold or silver—on demand or at a certain date. Under the present system if a Government issues more paper money than it possesses gold and silver to redeem, it is of course bankrupt. But the paper money that will be issued under a Socialist Administration will not be a promise to pay in gold or silver on demand or at any time. It will be a promise to supply commodities to the amount specified on the note, and as there could be no dearth of those things there could be no possibility of bankruptcy.”
“If a country's government started printing a lot of paper money under the current system,” Barrington responded, “it would definitely lead to bankruptcy, simply because paper money in the current system—bank notes, bank drafts, postal orders, checks, or any other form—is just a printed promise to pay the amount—in gold or silver—on demand or at a specific time. In the current system, if a government issues more paper money than it has gold and silver to back it up, it is obviously bankrupt. However, the paper money that would be issued under a Socialist Administration won’t be a promise to pay in gold or silver on demand or at any time. It will be a promise to provide goods worth the amount stated on the note, and since there wouldn't be a shortage of those goods, there couldn’t be any possibility of bankruptcy.”
“I should like to know who’s goin’ to appoint the hofficers of this ’ere hindustrial harmy,” said the man on the pail. “We don’t want to be bullied and chivied and chased about by a lot of sergeants and corporals like a lot of soldiers, you know.”
“I’d like to know who’s going to appoint the officers of this industrial army,” said the man on the pail. “We don’t want to be pushed around and chased by a bunch of sergeants and corporals like a bunch of soldiers, you know.”
“’Ear, ’ear,” said Crass. “You must ’ave some masters. Someone’s got to be in charge of the work.”
“Hey, hey,” said Crass. “You need to have some bosses. Someone’s got to oversee the work.”
“We don’t have to put up with any bullying or chivying or chasing now, do we?” said Barrington. “So of course we could not have anything of that sort under Socialism. We could not put up with it at all! Even if it were only for four or five hours a day. Under the present system we have no voice in appointing our masters and overseers and foremen—we have no choice as to what master we shall work under. If our masters do not treat us fairly we have no remedy against them. Under Socialism it will be different; the workers will be part of the community; the officers or managers and foremen will be the servants of the community, and if any one of these men were to abuse his position he could be promptly removed. As for the details of the organization of the Industrial Army, the difficulty is, again, not so much to devise a way, but to decide which of many ways would be the best, and the perfect way will probably be developed only after experiment and experience. The one thing we have to hold fast to is the fundamental principle of State employment or National service. Production for use and not for profit. The national organization of industry under democratic control. One way of arranging this business would be for the community to elect a Parliament in much the same way as is done at present. The only persons eligible for election to be veterans of the industrial Army, men and women who had put in their twenty-five years of service.
“We don’t have to deal with any bullying, nagging, or harassment now, do we?” said Barrington. “So, of course, we couldn’t have anything like that under Socialism. We couldn't tolerate it at all! Even if it were only for four or five hours a day. Under the current system, we have no say in choosing our bosses and supervisors—we have no choice about who we’ll work for. If our bosses don’t treat us fairly, we have no way to challenge them. Under Socialism, things will be different; the workers will be part of the community; the managers and supervisors will be the servants of the community, and if any of these individuals abuses their position, they can be quickly removed. As for how the Industrial Army will be organized, the challenge isn’t just figuring it out, but rather deciding which of the many options is best, and the ideal solution will likely evolve through experimentation and experience. The key principle we must stick to is the foundation of State employment or National service. Production for use, not for profit. A national organization of industry under democratic control. One approach could be for the community to elect a Parliament similar to how it’s done now. The only people eligible for election would be veterans of the Industrial Army—men and women who have completed their twenty-five years of service.
“This Administrative Body would have control of the different State Departments. There would be a Department of Agriculture, a Department of Railways and so on, each with its minister and staff.
“This Administrative Body would manage the various State Departments. There would be a Department of Agriculture, a Department of Railways, and so on, each with its own minister and staff.
“All these Members of Parliament would be the relatives—in some cases the mothers and fathers of those in the Industrial Service, and they would be relied upon to see that the conditions of that service were the best possible.
“All these Members of Parliament would be relatives—in some cases the mothers and fathers of those in the Industrial Service, and they would be expected to ensure that the conditions of that service were the best possible.
“As for the different branches of the State Service, they could be organized on somewhat the same lines as the different branches of the Public Service are now—like the Navy, the Post Office and as the State Railways in some other countries, or as are the different branches of the Military Army, with the difference that all promotions will be from the ranks, by examinations, and by merit only. As every recruit will have had the same class of education they will all have absolute equality of opportunity and the men who would attain to positions of authority would be the best men, and not as at present, the worst.”
“As for the different branches of the State Service, they could be organized similarly to how the various branches of the Public Service are structured now—like the Navy, the Post Office, and the State Railways in some other countries, or like the different branches of the Military. The key difference would be that all promotions would come from within, based on exams and merit alone. Since every recruit will have received the same level of education, everyone will have equal opportunity, and the people who rise to positions of authority will actually be the best candidates, instead of, as it is now, the worst.”
“How do you make that out?” demanded Crass.
“How do you figure that?” demanded Crass.
“Under the present system, the men who become masters and employers succeed because they are cunning and selfish, not because they understand or are capable of doing the work out of which they make their money. Most of the employers in the building trade for instance would be incapable of doing any skilled work. Very few of them would be worth their salt as journeymen. The only work they do is to scheme to reap the benefit of the labour of others.
“Under the current system, the people who become bosses and employers succeed because they are shrewd and self-serving, not because they understand or are capable of doing the work that earns them money. Most of the employers in the construction industry, for example, would be unable to perform any skilled work. Very few of them would hold up as journeymen. The only work they do is to devise plans to benefit from the labor of others.”
“The men who now become managers and foremen are selected not because of their ability as craftsmen, but because they are good slave-drivers and useful producers of profit for their employers.”
“The men who now become managers and foremen are chosen not for their skills as craftsmen, but because they are effective taskmasters and valuable profit generators for their employers.”
“How are you goin’ to prevent the selfish and cunnin’, as you call ’em, from gettin’ on top THEN as they do now?” said Harlow.
“How are you going to stop the selfish and sly ones, as you call them, from getting ahead then like they do now?” said Harlow.
“The fact that all workers will receive the same pay, no matter what class of work they are engaged in, or what their position, will ensure our getting the very best man to do all the higher work and to organize our business.”
“The fact that all workers will earn the same pay, regardless of the type of work they do or their position, will guarantee that we get the very best person to handle all the higher-level tasks and manage our business.”
Crass laughed: “What! Everybody to get the same wages?”
Crass laughed, “What! Everyone should get the same pay?”
“Yes: there will be such an enormous quantity of everything produced, that their wages will enable everyone to purchase abundance of everything they require. Even if some were paid more than others they would not be able to spend it. There would be no need to save it, and as there will be no starving poor, there will be no one to give it away to. If it were possible to save and accumulate money it would bring into being an idle class, living on their fellows: it would lead to the downfall of our system, and a return to the same anarchy that exists at present. Besides, if higher wages were paid to those engaged in the higher work or occupying positions of authority it would prevent our getting the best men. Unfit persons would try for the positions because of the higher pay. That is what happens now. Under the present system men intrigue for and obtain or are pitchforked into positions for which they have no natural ability at all; the only reason they desire these positions is because of the salaries attached to them. These fellows get the money and the work is done by underpaid subordinates whom the world never hears of. Under Socialism, this money incentive will be done away with, and consequently the only men who will try for these positions will be those who, being naturally fitted for the work, would like to do it. For instance a man who is a born organizer will not refuse to undertake such work because he will not be paid more for it. Such a man will desire to do it and will esteem it a privilege to be allowed to do it. He will revel in it. To think out all the details of some undertaking, to plan and scheme and organize, is not work for a man like that. It is a pleasure. But for a man who has sought and secured such a position, not because he liked the work, but because he liked the salary—such work as this would be unpleasant labour. Under Socialism the unfit man would not apply for that post but would strive after some other for which he was fit and which he would therefore desire and enjoy. There are some men who would rather have charge of and organize and be responsible for work than do it with their hands. There are others who would rather do delicate or difficult or artistic work, than plain work. A man who is a born artist would rather paint a frieze or a picture or carve a statue than he would do plain work, or take charge of and direct the labour of others. And there are another sort of men who would rather do ordinary plain work than take charge, or attempt higher branches for which they have neither liking or natural talent.
“Yes: there will be such a huge amount of everything produced that people's wages will allow everyone to buy plenty of what they need. Even if some people earn more than others, they won’t be able to spend it all. There won’t be a need to save money, and since there won’t be starving poor people, there won’t be anyone to give it away to. If it were possible to save and accumulate money, it would create a class of idle people living off others, leading to the collapse of our system and a return to the same chaos we have now. Also, if higher wages were paid to those doing more skilled jobs or in positions of authority, it would stop us from getting the best candidates. Unqualified people would pursue these positions just for the higher pay. That’s what happens now. In the current system, people scheme to get into roles for which they have no real ability; they only want the positions because of the salaries. These individuals get the money while the actual work gets done by underpaid subordinates who go unnoticed. Under Socialism, this monetary incentive will be removed, so the only people who will seek out these roles will be those who are naturally suited for the work and genuinely want to do it. For example, a person who is a natural organizer won’t refuse to take on this kind of work just because the pay isn’t higher. Such a person will want to do it and see it as a privilege. They will thrive on it. Figuring out all the details of a project, planning, scheming, and organizing isn’t work for someone like that; it’s enjoyable. But for someone who seeks and secures a position not because they enjoy the work but because they like the salary, it would be difficult labor. Under Socialism, unfit individuals wouldn’t apply for that position but would aim for something else that they are suited for and would therefore want and enjoy. Some people prefer to oversee, organize, and be responsible for work rather than do it physically. Others would rather engage in intricate, challenging, or artistic tasks than do simple work. A naturally talented artist would prefer to paint a mural, create a painting, or sculpt a statue instead of doing basic work or directing the labor of others. There are also people who would rather perform routine work than take charge or attempt more advanced tasks for which they neither have interest nor skill.”
“But there is one thing—a most important point that you seem to entirely lose sight of, and that is, that all these different kinds and classes are equal in one respect—THEY ARE ALL EQUALLY NECESSARY. Each is a necessary and indispensable part of the whole; therefore everyone who has done his full share of necessary work is justly entitled to a full share of the results. The men who put the slates on are just as indispensable as the men who lay the foundations. The work of the men who build the walls and make the doors is just as necessary as the work of the men who decorate the cornice. None of them would be of much use without the architect, and the plans of the architect would come to nothing, his building would be a mere castle in the air, if it were not for the other workers. Each part of the work is equally necessary, useful and indispensable if the building is to be perfected. Some of these men work harder with their brains than with their hands and some work harder with their hands than with their brains, BUT EACH ONE DOES HIS FULL SHARE OF THE WORK. This truth will be recognized and acted upon by those who build up and maintain the fabric of our Co-operative Commonwealth. Every man who does his full share of the useful and necessary work according to his abilities shall have his full share of the total result. Herein will be its great difference from the present system, under which it is possible for the cunning and selfish ones to take advantage of the simplicity of others and rob them of part of the fruits of their labour. As for those who will be engaged in the higher branches, they will be sufficiently rewarded by being privileged to do the work they are fitted for and enjoy. The only men and women who are capable of good and great work of any kind are those who, being naturally fit for it, love the work for its own sake and not for the money it brings them. Under the present system, many men who have no need of money produce great works, not for gain but for pleasure: their wealth enables them to follow their natural inclinations. Under the present system many men and women capable of great works are prevented from giving expression to their powers by poverty and lack of opportunity: they live in sorrow and die heartbroken, and the community is the loser. These are the men and women who will be our artists, sculptors, architects, engineers and captains of industry.
“But there's one thing—a really important point you seem to completely overlook, and that is, all these different kinds and classes are equal in one way—THEY ARE ALL EQUALLY NECESSARY. Each is a crucial and essential part of the whole; therefore, everyone who has done their fair share of necessary work is justly entitled to a fair share of the outcomes. The people who put on the slates are just as critical as those who lay the foundations. The work of those who build the walls and install the doors is just as vital as the work of those who decorate the cornice. None of them would be very useful without the architect, and the architect's plans would amount to nothing, his building would be just an illusion, if it weren't for the other workers. Each part of the work is equally necessary, useful, and indispensable if the building is to be perfect. Some of these people work harder with their minds than with their hands and some work harder with their hands than with their minds, BUT EACH ONE DOES THEIR FULL SHARE OF THE WORK. This truth will be recognized and acted upon by those who build and maintain the structure of our Co-operative Commonwealth. Every person who does their full share of the useful and necessary work according to their abilities will receive their full share of the total outcome. This is where it will greatly differ from the current system, under which the clever and selfish can take advantage of the simplicity of others and rob them of part of the fruits of their labor. As for those engaged in the higher fields, they will be adequately rewarded by being able to do the work they are suited for and enjoy. The only people capable of doing good and great work of any kind are those who, being naturally fit for it, love the work for its own sake and not for the money it brings. Under the current system, many who don’t need money create great works, not for profit but for enjoyment: their wealth allows them to follow their true inclinations. Under this system, many capable individuals are kept from expressing their talents by poverty and lack of opportunity: they live in sorrow and die heartbroken, and the community suffers as a result. These are the individuals who will become our artists, sculptors, architects, engineers, and leaders in industry.”
“Under the present system there are men at the head of affairs whose only object is the accumulation of money. Some of them possess great abilities and the system has practically compelled them to employ those abilities for their own selfish ends to the hurt of the community. Some of them have built up great fortunes out of the sweat and blood and tears of men and women and little children. For those who delight in such work as this, there will be no place in our Co-operative Commonwealth.”
“Right now, there are people in charge whose only goal is to make money. Some of them are really capable, but the system basically forces them to use their talents for their own selfish purposes, which harms the community. Many have amassed huge fortunes from the hard work and struggles of men, women, and young children. In our Cooperative Commonwealth, there won’t be any room for those who take pleasure in this kind of work.”
“Is there any more questions?” demanded Philpot.
“Are there any more questions?” Philpot asked.
“Yes,” said Harlow. “If there won’t be no extry pay and if anybody will have all they need for just doing their part of the work, what encouragement will there be for anyone to worry his brains out trying to invent some new machine, or make some new discovery?”
“Yes,” said Harlow. “If there won’t be any extra pay and if everyone gets what they need for just doing their part of the work, what motivation will anyone have to stress themselves out trying to invent a new machine or make a new discovery?”
“Well,” said Barrington, “I think that’s covered by the last answer, but if it were found necessary—which is highly improbable—to offer some material reward in addition to the respect, esteem or honour that would be enjoyed by the author of an invention that was a boon to the community, it could be arranged by allowing him to retire before the expiration of his twenty-five years service. The boon he had conferred on the community by the invention, would be considered equivalent to so many years work. But a man like that would not desire to cease working; that sort go on working all their lives, for love. There’s Edison for instance. He is one of the very few inventors who have made money out of their work; he is a rich man, but the only use his wealth seems to be to him is to procure himself facilities for going on with his work; his life is a round of what some people would call painful labour: but it is not painful labour to him; it’s just pleasure, he works for the love of it. Another way would be to absolve a man of that sort from the necessity of ordinary work, so as to give him a chance to get on with other inventions. It would be to the interests of the community to encourage him in every way and to place materials and facilities at his disposal.
“Well,” said Barrington, “I think that’s covered by the last answer, but if it were necessary—which is highly unlikely—to offer some kind of material reward in addition to the respect, esteem, or honor that would be given to the author of an invention that benefited the community, it could be arranged by allowing him to retire before his twenty-five years of service are up. The benefit he provided with the invention would be considered equivalent to so many years of work. But a person like that wouldn’t want to stop working; those kinds of people continue to work their whole lives, out of passion. There’s Edison, for example. He is one of the very few inventors who have actually made money from their work; he’s wealthy, but the only real purpose his wealth seems to serve is to give him the means to keep working; his life is filled with what some might call grueling labor, but it’s not grueling for him; it’s just enjoyable, he works for the love of it. Another option would be to free someone like him from the need for regular work, so he can focus on other inventions. It would be in the community's best interest to support him in every way possible and provide him with materials and resources.”
“But you must remember that even under the present system, Honour and Praise are held to be greater than money. How many soldiers would prefer money to the honour of wearing the intrinsically valueless Victoria Cross?
“But you must remember that even under the current system, Honor and Praise are considered more valuable than money. How many soldiers would choose money over the honor of wearing the intrinsically worthless Victoria Cross?
“Even now men think less of money than they do of the respect, esteem or honour they are able to procure with it. Many men spend the greater part of their lives striving to accumulate money, and when they have succeeded, they proceed to spend it to obtain the respect of their fellow-men. Some of them spend thousands of pounds for the honour of being able to write ‘MP’ after their names. Others buy titles. Others pay huge sums to gain admission to exclusive circles of society. Others give the money away in charity, or found libraries or universities. The reason they do these things is that they desire to be applauded and honoured by their fellow-men.
“Even today, people value respect, esteem, and honor more than money. Many individuals spend most of their lives trying to accumulate wealth, and once they succeed, they use it to gain the respect of others. Some spend thousands of pounds just to be able to add 'MP' after their names. Others purchase titles. Some pay large sums to gain entry into exclusive social circles. Others donate their money to charity or establish libraries or universities. They do these things because they want to be admired and recognized by their peers.”
“This desire is strongest in the most capable men—the men of genius. Therefore, under Socialism the principal incentive to great work will be the same as now—Honour and Praise. But, under the present system, Honour and Praise can be bought with money, and it does not matter much how the money was obtained.
“This desire is strongest in the most capable men—the men of genius. Therefore, under Socialism, the main motivation for great work will be the same as it is now—Honor and Praise. However, under the current system, Honor and Praise can be purchased with money, and it doesn't really matter how the money was obtained.”
“Under Socialism it will be different. The Cross of Honour and the Laurel Crown will not be bought and sold for filthy lucre. They will be the supreme rewards of Virtue and of Talent.”
“Under Socialism, things will be different. The Cross of Honour and the Laurel Crown won’t be bought and sold for dirty money. They will be the highest rewards for Virtue and Talent.”
“Anyone else like to be flattened out?” inquired Philpot.
“Anyone else want to get flattened?” Philpot asked.
“What would you do with them what spends all their money in drink?” asked Slyme.
“What would you do with someone who spends all their money on drinking?” asked Slyme.
“I might reasonably ask you, ‘What’s done with them or what you propose to do with them now?’ There are many men and women whose lives are so full of toil and sorrow and the misery caused by abject poverty, who are so shut out from all that makes life worth living, that the time they spend in the public house is the only ray of sunshine in their cheerless lives. Their mental and material poverty is so great that they are deprived of and incapable of understanding the intellectual and social pleasures of civilization... Under Socialism there will be no such class as this. Everyone will be educated, and social life and rational pleasure will be within the reach of all. Therefore we do not believe that there will be such a class. Any individuals who abandoned themselves to such a course would be avoided by their fellows; but if they became very degraded, we should still remember that they were our brother men and women, and we should regard them as suffering from a disease inherited from their uncivilized forefathers and try to cure them by placing them under some restraint: in an institute for instance.”
“I could reasonably ask you, ‘What’s happening with them or what do you plan to do with them now?’ There are many men and women whose lives are filled with hard work and pain due to extreme poverty. They are so excluded from everything that makes life enjoyable that the time they spend in the pub is the only bright spot in their gloomy existence. Their mental and material poverty is so severe that they lack the ability to appreciate the intellectual and social benefits of civilization... Under Socialism, this class won’t exist. Everyone will be educated, and social life and meaningful enjoyment will be accessible to all. Therefore, we believe that such a class will not be present. Individuals who choose to live like that would be avoided by their peers; but if they become very lost, we should still remember that they are our fellow men and women, and we should view them as suffering from a condition passed down from their uncivilized ancestors, and seek to help them by placing them in some form of care: like in a rehabilitation center, for example.”
“Another good way to deal with ’em,” said Harlow, “would be to allow them double pay, so as they could drink themselves to death. We could do without the likes of them.”
“Another good way to handle them,” said Harlow, “would be to give them double pay, so they could drink themselves to death. We could do without people like them.”
“Call the next case,” said Philpot.
“Call the next case,” said Philpot.
“This ’ere abundance that you’re always talking about,” said Crass, “you can’t be sure that it would be possible to produce all that. You’re only assoomin’ that it could be done.”
“This abundance you keep mentioning,” Crass said, “you can’t be sure that it could actually be produced. You’re just assuming it can be done.”
Barrington pointed to the still visible outlines of the “Hoblong” that Owen had drawn on the wall to illustrate a previous lecture.
Barrington pointed to the outlines of the “Hoblong” that Owen had drawn on the wall for a previous lecture, which were still visible.
“Even under the present silly system of restricted production, with the majority of the population engaged in useless, unproductive, unnecessary work, and large numbers never doing any work at all, there is enough produced to go all round after a fashion. More than enough, for in consequence of what they call ‘Over-Production’, the markets are periodically glutted with commodities of all kinds, and then for a time the factories are closed and production ceases. And yet we can all manage to exist—after a fashion. This proves that if productive industry were organized on the lines advocated by Socialists there could be produced such a prodigious quantity of everything, that everyone could live in plenty and comfort. The problem of how to produce sufficient for all to enjoy abundance is already solved: the problem that then remains is—How to get rid of those whose greed and callous indifference to the sufferings of others, prevents it being done.”
“Even with the current ridiculous system of limited production, where most people are stuck in pointless, unproductive, and unnecessary jobs, and many aren’t working at all, there’s still enough produced to go around in some way. In fact, there’s more than enough, because of what they call ‘overproduction’—the markets often get flooded with all kinds of goods, leading to temporary factory closures and a halt in production. Yet somehow, we all manage to get by—barely. This shows that if productive industry were organized according to Socialist principles, we could produce an incredible amount of everything, allowing everyone to live in abundance and comfort. The question of how to produce enough for everyone to enjoy plenty is already answered; the remaining issue is—how to deal with those whose greed and indifference to others’ suffering prevent this from happening.”
“Yes! and you’ll never be able to get rid of ’em, mate,” cried Crass, triumphantly—and the man with the copper wire stitches in his boot said that it couldn’t be done.
“Yeah! And you’ll never be able to get rid of them, buddy,” shouted Crass, triumphantly—and the guy with the copper wire stitches in his boot said it couldn’t be done.
“Well, we mean to have a good try, anyhow,” said Barrington.
“Well, we’re definitely going to give it a good shot, anyway,” said Barrington.
Crass and most of the others tried hard to think of something to say in defence of the existing state of affairs, or against the proposals put forward by the lecturer; but finding nothing, they maintained a sullen and gloomy silence. The man with the copper wire stitches in his boot in particular appeared to be very much upset; perhaps he was afraid that if the things advocated by the speaker ever came to pass he would not have any boots at all. To assume that he had some such thought as this, is the only rational way to account for his hostility, for in his case no change could have been for the worse unless it reduced him to almost absolute nakedness and starvation.
Crass and the others struggled to come up with something to say in defense of the current situation or against the lecturer's proposals; but since they couldn’t think of anything, they stayed silent and sullen. The guy with the copper wire stitches in his boot seemed particularly upset; maybe he was worried that if the speaker’s ideas ever happened, he wouldn’t have any boots at all. Assuming he had a thought like that is the only logical way to understand his anger, because for him, no change could be worse unless it left him almost completely naked and starving.
To judge by their unwillingness to consider any proposals to alter the present system, one might have supposed that they were afraid of losing something, instead of having nothing to lose—except their poverty.
To judge by their refusal to consider any proposals to change the current system, one might think they were afraid of losing something, rather than having nothing to lose—except their poverty.
It was not till the chairman had made several urgent appeals for more questions that Crass brightened up: a glad smile slowly spread over and illuminated his greasy visage: he had at last thought of a most serious and insurmountable obstacle to the establishment of the Co-operative Commonwealth.
It wasn’t until the chairman made several urgent requests for more questions that Crass perked up: a pleased smile gradually spread across and lit up his greasy face: he had finally come up with a very significant and insurmountable barrier to the creation of the Co-operative Commonwealth.
“What,” he demanded, in a loud voice, “what are you goin’ to do, in this ’ere Socialist Republic of yours, with them wot WON’T WORK!”
“What,” he shouted, “what are you going to do, in this Socialist Republic of yours, with those who WON’T WORK!”
As Crass flung this bombshell into the Socialist camp, the miserable, ragged-trousered crew around him could scarce forbear a cheer; but the more intelligent part of the audience only laughed.
As Crass dropped this shocking news into the Socialist camp, the miserable, ragged-trousered group around him could hardly hold back a cheer; but the more thoughtful members of the audience just laughed.
“We don’t believe that there will be any such people as that,” said Barrington.
“We don’t think there will be any people like that,” said Barrington.
“There’s plenty of ’em about now, anyway,” sneered Crass.
“There are a lot of them around now, anyway,” sneered Crass.
“You can’t change ’uman nature, you know,” cried the man behind the moat, and the one who had the copper wire stitches in his boot laughed scornfully.
“You can’t change human nature, you know,” shouted the man behind the moat, and the one with the copper wire stitches in his boot laughed mockingly.
“Yes, I know there are plenty such now,” rejoined Barrington. “It’s only what is to be expected, considering that practically all workers live in poverty, and are regarded with contempt. The conditions under which most of the work is done at present are so unpleasant and degrading that everyone refuses to do any unless they are compelled; none of us here, for instance, would continue to work for Rushton if it were not for the fact that we have either to do so or starve; and when we do work we only just earn enough to keep body and soul together. Under the present system everybody who can possibly manage to do so avoids doing any work, the only difference being that some people do their loafing better than others. The aristocracy are too lazy to work, but they seem to get on all right; they have their tenants to work for them. Rushton is too lazy to work, so he has arranged that we and Nimrod shall work instead, and he fares much better than any of us who do work. Then there is another kind of loafers who go about begging and occasionally starving rather than submit to such abominable conditions as are offered to them. These last are generally not much worse off than we are and they are often better off. At present, people have everything to gain and but little to lose by refusing to work. Under Socialism it would be just the reverse; the conditions of labour would be so pleasant, the hours of obligatory work so few, and the reward so great, that it is absurd to imagine that any one would be so foolish as to incur the contempt of his fellows and make himself a social outcast by refusing to do the small share of work demanded of him by the community of which he was a member.
“Yes, I know there are plenty of them now,” Barrington replied. “It’s what you’d expect, considering that almost all workers live in poverty and are looked down upon. The conditions for most jobs currently are so unpleasant and degrading that everyone avoids doing any work unless they have to; none of us here, for example, would continue to work for Rushton if it weren’t for the fact that we either have to or we’ll starve. And when we do work, we barely earn enough to make ends meet. Under the current system, everyone who can avoid working does so, with the only difference being that some people are better at slacking off than others. The wealthy are too lazy to work, but they manage just fine; they have their tenants to do the hard work for them. Rushton is too lazy to work, so he’s arranged for us and Nimrod to do it instead, and he does a lot better than any of us who actually work. Then there’s another group of loafers who wander around begging and sometimes starving rather than put up with the terrible conditions offered to them. These people are often no worse off than we are, and sometimes they’re better off. Right now, people have everything to gain and very little to lose by refusing to work. Under Socialism, it would be the opposite; the working conditions would be so pleasant, the required hours so short, and the rewards so great that it’s absurd to think anyone would be foolish enough to incur the contempt of their peers and make themselves a social outcast by refusing to do their small part of the work that the community expects of them.”
“As for what we should do to such individuals if there did happen to be some, I can assure you that we would not treat them as you treat them now. We would not dress them up in silk and satin and broadcloth and fine linen: we would not embellish them, as you do, with jewels of gold and jewels of silver and with precious stones; neither should we allow them to fare sumptuously every day. Our method of dealing with them would be quite different from yours. In the Co-operative Commonwealth there will be no place for loafers; whether they call themselves aristocrats or tramps, those who are too lazy to work shall have no share in the things that are produced by the labour of others. Those who do nothing shall have nothing. If any man will not work, neither shall he eat. Under the present system a man who is really too lazy to work may stop you in the street and tell you that he cannot get employment. For all you know, he may be telling the truth, and if you have any feeling and are able, you will help him. But in the Socialist State no one would have such an excuse, because everyone that was willing would be welcome to come and help in the work of producing wealth and happiness for all, and afterwards he would also be welcome to his full share of the results.”
“As for what we should do with such individuals if they do exist, I can assure you that we wouldn't treat them as you do now. We wouldn’t dress them in silk and satin and fine fabrics: we wouldn’t adorn them, as you do, with gold and silver jewels and precious stones; we also wouldn’t let them live lavishly every day. Our approach to dealing with them would be completely different from yours. In the Co-operative Commonwealth, there will be no place for slackers; whether they call themselves aristocrats or hobos, those who are too lazy to work will not share in the fruits of others' labor. Those who do nothing will have nothing. If a person won’t work, they won't eat. Under the current system, someone who is genuinely too lazy to work might stop you in the street and say they can’t find a job. For all you know, they might be telling the truth, and if you have any compassion and the means, you’ll help them. But in the Socialist State, no one would have such an excuse, because anyone willing to contribute would be welcome to join in the effort to create wealth and happiness for all, and afterwards they’d also be welcome to their fair share of the outcomes.”
“Any more complaints?” inquired the chairman, breaking the gloomy silence that followed.
“Any more complaints?” the chairman asked, interrupting the heavy silence that followed.
“I don’t want anyone to think that I am blaming any of these present-day loafers,” Barrington added. “The wealthy ones cannot be expected voluntarily to come and work under existing conditions and if they were to do so they would be doing more harm than good—they would be doing some poor wretches out of employment. They are not to be blamed; the people who are to blame are the working classes themselves, who demand and vote for the continuance of the present system. As for the other class of loafers—those at the bottom, the tramps and people of that sort, if they were to become sober and industrious tomorrow, they also would be doing more harm than good to the other workers; it would increase the competition for work. If all the loafers in Mugsborough could suddenly be transformed into decent house painters next week, Nimrod might be able to cut down the wages another penny an hour. I don’t wish to speak disrespectfully of these tramps at all. Some of them are such simply because they would rather starve than submit to the degrading conditions that we submit to, they do not see the force of being bullied and chased, and driven about in order to gain semi-starvation and rags. They are able to get those without working; and I sometimes think that they are more worthy of respect and are altogether a nobler type of beings than a lot of broken-spirited wretches like ourselves, who are always at the mercy of our masters, and always in dread of the sack.”
“I don’t want anyone to think that I’m blaming any of these modern slackers,” Barrington added. “The wealthy can’t be expected to come and work under the current conditions voluntarily, and if they did, they’d end up causing more harm than good—they would be taking jobs away from some poor folks. They aren’t to be blamed; the ones who are to blame are the working class themselves, who demand and vote for the continuation of the current system. As for the other group of slackers—those at the bottom, the homeless and people like that, if they were to suddenly become sober and hardworking, they’d also be doing more harm than good to the other workers; it would increase competition for jobs. If all the loafers in Mugsborough were suddenly able to turn into decent house painters next week, Nimrod could cut wages by another penny an hour. I don’t want to speak disrespectfully of these homeless people at all. Some of them are in that situation simply because they’d rather starve than put up with the degrading conditions we endure; they don’t see the point in being bullied and chased around just to achieve semi-starvation and tattered clothing. They can obtain those without working; and sometimes I think they deserve more respect and are altogether a nobler type of person than a lot of broken-spirited folks like us, who are always at the mercy of our bosses and constantly fearing being fired.”
“Any more questions?” said the chairman.
“Any more questions?” asked the chairman.
“Do you mean to say as the time will ever come when the gentry will mix up on equal terms with the likes of us?” demanded the man behind the moat, scornfully.
“Are you really saying that there will come a time when the upper class will interact with people like us on equal footing?” the man behind the moat asked sarcastically.
“Oh, no,” replied the lecturer. “When we get Socialism there won’t be any people like us. Everybody will be civilized.”
“Oh, no,” replied the lecturer. “When we have Socialism, there won’t be any people like us. Everyone will be civilized.”
The man behind the moat did not seem very satisfied with this answer, and told the others that he could not see anything to laugh at.
The man behind the moat didn’t seem very happy with this answer and told the others that he couldn’t see anything funny.
“Is there any more questions?” cried Philpot. “Now is your chance to get some of your own back, but don’t hall speak at once.”
“Are there any more questions?” shouted Philpot. “Now’s your chance to get back at some of you, but don’t all speak at once.”
“I should like to know who’s goin’ to do all the dirty work?” said Slyme. “If everyone is to be allowed to choose ’is own trade, who’d be fool enough to choose to be a scavenger, a sweep, a dustman or a sewer man? nobody wouldn’t want to do such jobs as them and everyone would be after the soft jobs.”
“I’d like to know who’s going to do all the dirty work?” said Slyme. “If everyone gets to choose their own job, who would be foolish enough to pick being a scavenger, a janitor, a garbage collector, or a sewer worker? No one would want to take on those kinds of jobs, and everyone would want the easy ones.”
“Of course,” cried Crass, eagerly clutching at this last straw. “The thing sounds all right till you comes to look into it, but it wouldn’t never work!”
“Of course,” shouted Crass, eagerly grabbing at this last hope. “It all seems fine until you actually look into it, but it would never work!”
“It would be very easy to deal with any difficulty of that sort,” replied Barrington, “if it were found that too many people were desirous of pursuing certain callings, it would be known that the conditions attached to those kinds of work were unfairly easy, as compared with other lines, so the conditions in those trades would be made more severe. A higher degree of skill would be required. If we found that too many persons wished to be doctors, architects, engineers and so forth, we would increase the severity of the examinations. This would scare away all but the most gifted and enthusiastic. We should thus at one stroke reduce the number of applicants and secure the very best men for the work—we should have better doctors, better architects, better engineers than before.
“It would be really simple to handle any issue like that,” replied Barrington. “If we found that too many people wanted to go after certain jobs, it would show that the requirements for those types of work were too easy compared to others. So, we would tighten the conditions in those fields. We would require a higher level of skill. If we noticed that too many people wanted to be doctors, architects, engineers, and so on, we would make the exams tougher. This would scare away all but the most talented and passionate individuals. In doing so, we’d instantly reduce the number of applicants and attract the very best people for the job—we’d have better doctors, better architects, better engineers than before.”
“As regards those disagreeable tasks for which there was a difficulty in obtaining volunteers, we should adopt the opposite means. Suppose that six hours was the general thing; and we found that we could not get any sewer men; we should reduce the hours of labour in that department to four, or if necessary to two, in order to compensate for the disagreeable nature of the work.
“As for those unpleasant tasks that were hard to get volunteers for, we should take the opposite approach. Let’s say six hours was the standard; if we found we couldn't get any sewer workers, we should cut the work hours in that area down to four, or even two if needed, to make up for how unpleasant the job is.”
“Another way out of such difficulties would be to have a separate division of the Industrial army to do all such work, and to make it obligatory for every man to put in his first year of State service as a member of this corps. There would be no hardship in that. Everyone gets the benefit of such work; there would be no injustice in requiring everyone to share. This would have the effect also of stimulating invention; it would be to everyone’s interest to think out means of doing away with such kinds of work and there is no doubt that most of it will be done by machinery in some way or other. A few years ago the only way to light up the streets of a town was to go round to each separate gas lamp and light each jet, one at a time: now, we press a few buttons and light up the town with electricity. In the future we shall probably be able to press a button and flush the sewers.”
“Another way to solve these difficulties would be to create a separate division of the Industrial Army to handle all such tasks and to require that every man spends his first year of State service as part of this unit. There wouldn't be any unfairness in that. Everyone benefits from this work, so it’s only fair that everyone contributes. This would also encourage innovation; it would be in everyone's best interest to come up with ways to eliminate these types of work, and it's likely that most of it will eventually be done by machines. A few years ago, the only way to light up a town's streets was to go to each individual gas lamp and light each flame one at a time; now, we just press a few buttons and the town lights up with electricity. In the future, we’ll probably just press a button and flush the sewers.”
“What about religion?” said Slyme. “I suppose there won’t be no churches nor chapels; we shall all have to be atheists.”
“What about religion?” Slyme asked. “I guess there won’t be any churches or chapels; we’ll all have to be atheists.”
“Everybody will be perfectly free to enjoy their own opinions and to practise any religion they like; but no religion or sect will be maintained by the State. If any congregation or body of people wish to have a building for their own exclusive use as a church or chapel or lecture hall it will be supplied to them by the State on the same terms as those upon which dwelling houses will be supplied; the State will construct the special kind of building and the congregation will have to pay the rent, the amount to be based on the cost of construction, in paper money of course. As far as the embellishment or decoration of such places is concerned, there will of course be nothing to prevent the members of the congregation if they wish from doing any such work as that themselves in their own spare time of which they will have plenty.”
“Everyone will be completely free to hold their own opinions and practice any religion they choose; however, no religion or sect will be supported by the State. If any group of people wants to have a building for their exclusive use as a church, chapel, or lecture hall, the State will provide it to them under the same conditions as those for residential housing; the State will build the specific type of building, and the group will need to pay rent, which will be based on the construction costs, in paper money, of course. Regarding the decoration or embellishment of these places, there will be nothing stopping the members of the group from doing such work themselves in their own free time, which they will have plenty of.”
“If everybody’s got to do their share of work, where’s the minister and clergymen to come from?”
“If everyone has to pull their weight, where are the minister and clergy supposed to come from?”
“There are at least three ways out of that difficulty. First, ministers of religion could be drawn from the ranks of the Veterans—men over forty-five years old who had completed their term of State service. You must remember that these will not be worn out wrecks, as too many of the working classes are at that age now. They will have had good food and clothing and good general conditions all their lives; and consequently they will be in the very prime of life. They will be younger than many of us now are at thirty; they will be ideal men for the positions we are speaking of. All well educated in their youth, and all will have had plenty of leisure for self culture during the years of their State service and they will have the additional recommendation that their congregation will not be required to pay anything for their services.
“There are at least three ways to tackle that issue. First, we could select ministers from the ranks of the Veterans—men over forty-five who have completed their term of State service. It's important to remember that these won’t be worn-out individuals, unlike many in the working class at that age today. They will have enjoyed good food, clothing, and overall decent living conditions throughout their lives; as a result, they’ll be in their prime. In fact, they’ll be younger than many of us are at thirty; they’ll be perfect for the positions we’re discussing. All will have received a good education in their youth and will have had plenty of free time for self-improvement during their years of State service, plus they offer the added benefit that their congregation won’t have to pay for their services.”
“Another way: If a congregation wished to retain the full-time services of a young man whom they thought specially gifted but who had not completed his term of State service, they could secure him by paying the State for his services; thus the young man would still remain in State employment, he would still continue to receive his pay from the National Treasury, and at the age of forty-five would be entitled to his pension like any other worker, and after that the congregation would not have to pay the State anything.
“Another way: If a congregation wanted to keep a young man they believed was especially talented but who hadn’t finished his time in State service, they could do so by compensating the State for his services; this way, the young man would still be employed by the State, continue to receive his salary from the National Treasury, and at the age of forty-five would be eligible for his pension like any other worker. After that, the congregation wouldn’t have to pay the State anything.”
“A third—and as it seems to me, the most respectable way—would be for the individual in question to act as minister or pastor or lecturer or whatever it was, to the congregation without seeking to get out of doing his share of the State service. The hours of obligatory work would be so short and the work so light that he would have abundance of leisure to prepare his orations without sponging on his co-religionists.”
“A third—and what seems to me the most respectable approach—would be for the individual in question to serve as a minister, pastor, lecturer, or whatever title fits, to the congregation while still fulfilling their obligations to the State. The required work hours would be minimal and the tasks so manageable that they would have plenty of free time to prepare their speeches without relying on their fellow believers.”
“’Ear, ’ear!” cried Harlow.
“Hey, hey!” cried Harlow.
“Of course,” added Barrington, “it would not only be congregations of Christians who could adopt any of these methods. It is possible that a congregation of agnostics, for instance, might want a separate building or to maintain a lecturer.”
“Of course,” added Barrington, “it wouldn’t just be Christian congregations that could use any of these methods. A group of agnostics, for example, might want their own building or to hire a speaker.”
“What the ’ell’s an agnostic?” demanded Bundy.
“What the hell's an agnostic?” asked Bundy.
“An agnostic,” said the man behind the moat, “is a bloke wot don’t believe nothing unless ’e see it with ’is own eyes.”
“An agnostic,” said the man behind the moat, “is a guy who doesn’t believe anything unless he sees it with his own eyes.”
“All these details,” continued the speaker, “of the organization of affairs and the work of the Co-operative Commonwealth, are things which do not concern us at all. They have merely been suggested by different individuals as showing some ways in which these things could be arranged. The exact methods to be adopted will be decided upon by the opinion of the majority when the work is being done. Meantime, what we have to do is to insist upon the duty of the State to provide productive work for the unemployed, the State feeding of schoolchildren, the nationalization or Socialization of Railways; Land; the Trusts, and all public services that are still in the hands of private companies. If you wish to see these things done, you must cease from voting for Liberal and Tory sweaters, shareholders of companies, lawyers, aristocrats, and capitalists; and you must fill the House of Commons with Revolutionary Socialists. That is—with men who are in favour of completely changing the present system. And in the day that you do that, you will have solved the poverty ‘problem’. No more tramping the streets begging for a job! No more hungry children at home. No more broken boots and ragged clothes. No more women and children killing themselves with painful labour whilst strong men stand idly by; but joyous work and joyous leisure for all.”
“All these details,” continued the speaker, “about how things should be organized and the workings of the Co-operative Commonwealth don’t concern us right now. They’ve just been put forward by various people as examples of how things could be arranged. The exact methods we'll use will be decided by the majority when the work starts. In the meantime, we need to emphasize the government's responsibility to provide jobs for the unemployed, to feed schoolchildren, and to nationalize or socialize railways, land, trusts, and all public services still controlled by private companies. If you want to see these changes happen, stop voting for Liberal and Tory politicians, shareholders, lawyers, aristocrats, and capitalists; instead, fill the House of Commons with Revolutionary Socialists. That means electing people who are committed to completely transforming the current system. The day you do that, you will have solved the poverty ‘problem’. No more wandering the streets looking for a job! No more hungry children at home. No more worn-out shoes and tattered clothes. No more women and children toiling away while strong men stand by doing nothing; instead, everyone will have meaningful work and enjoyable leisure time.”
“Is there any more questions?” cried Philpot.
“Are there any more questions?” shouted Philpot.
“Is it true,” said Easton, “that Socialists intend to do away with the Army and Navy?”
“Is it true,” Easton asked, “that Socialists plan to get rid of the Army and Navy?”
“Yes; it is true. Socialists believe in International Brotherhood and peace. Nearly all wars are caused by profit-seeking capitalists, seeking new fields for commercial exploitation, and by aristocrats who make it the means of glorifying themselves in the eyes of the deluded common people. You must remember that Socialism is not only a national, but an international movement and when it is realized, there will be no possibility of war, and we shall no longer need to maintain an army and navy, or to waste a lot of labour building warships or manufacturing arms and ammunition. All those people who are now employed will then be at liberty to assist in the great work of producing the benefits of civilization; creating wealth and knowledge and happiness for themselves and others—Socialism means Peace on earth and goodwill to all mankind. But in the meantime we know that the people of other nations are not yet all Socialists; we do not forget that in foreign countries—just the same as in Britain—there are large numbers of profit seeking capitalists, who are so destitute of humanity, that if they thought it could be done successfully and with profit to themselves they would not scruple to come here to murder and to rob. We do not forget that in foreign countries—the same as here—there are plenty of so-called ‘Christian’ bishops and priests always ready to give their benediction to any such murderous projects, and to blasphemously pray to the Supreme Being to help his children to slay each other like wild beasts. And knowing and remembering all this, we realize that until we have done away with capitalism, aristocracy and anti-Christian clericalism, it is our duty to be prepared to defend our homes and our native land. And therefore we are in favour of maintaining national defensive forces in the highest possible state of efficiency. But that does not mean that we are in favour of the present system of organizing those forces. We do not believe in conscription, and we do not believe that the nation should continue to maintain a professional standing army to be used at home for the purpose of butchering men and women of the working classes in the interests of a handful of capitalists, as has been done at Featherstone and Belfast; or to be used abroad to murder and rob the people of other nations. Socialists advocate the establishment of a National Citizen Army, for defensive purposes only. We believe that every able bodied man should be compelled to belong to this force and to undergo a course of military training, but without making him into a professional soldier, or taking him away from civil life, depriving him of the rights of citizenship or making him subject to military ‘law’ which is only another name for tyranny and despotism. This Citizen Army could be organized on somewhat similar lines to the present Territorial Force, with certain differences. For instance, we do not believe—as our present rulers do—that wealth and aristocratic influence are the two most essential qualifications for an efficient officer; we believe that all ranks should be attainable by any man, no matter how poor, who is capable of passing the necessary examinations, and that there should be no expense attached to those positions which the Government grant, or the pay, is not sufficient to cover. The officers could be appointed in any one of several ways: They might be elected by the men they would have to command, the only qualification required being that they had passed their examinations, or they might be appointed according to merit—the candidate obtaining the highest number of marks at the examinations to have the first call on any vacant post, and so on in order of merit. We believe in the total abolition of courts martial, any offence against discipline should be punishable by the ordinary civil law—no member of the Citizen Army being deprived of the rights of a citizen.”
“Yes, it's true. Socialists believe in international brotherhood and peace. Almost all wars are caused by profit-driven capitalists looking for new opportunities to exploit, and by aristocrats who use war to glorify themselves in the eyes of the misled common people. You must remember that Socialism is not just a national movement but also an international one, and when it's realized, there will be no possibility of war. We won’t need to maintain an army or navy, and we won’t waste labor building warships or manufacturing weapons and ammunition. Everyone currently employed in these areas will be free to contribute to the great work of creating the benefits of civilization—generating wealth, knowledge, and happiness for themselves and others. Socialism means peace on earth and goodwill toward all humanity. However, we know that people from other nations are not all Socialists yet; we can’t forget that, just like in Britain, there are many profit-driven capitalists abroad who lack humanity and would murder and rob if they thought they could do it successfully and profitably. We also can’t forget that, like here, there are plenty of so-called ‘Christian’ bishops and priests in other countries who are eager to bless such murderous plans and pray to the Supreme Being for help in slaughtering each other like wild beasts. Understanding all this, we realize that until we eliminate capitalism, aristocracy, and anti-Christian clericalism, it is our duty to be ready to defend our homes and our country. Therefore, we support maintaining national defense forces at the highest level of efficiency. But this doesn’t mean we support the current way of organizing these forces. We don’t believe in conscription, and we don’t believe the nation should maintain a professional standing army used at home to murder working-class men and women for the benefit of a few capitalists, as has happened in Featherstone and Belfast; or to be sent abroad to kill and rob the people of other nations. Socialists propose establishing a National Citizen Army for defensive purposes only. We believe every able-bodied man should be required to be part of this force and go through military training, but without being turned into a professional soldier or taken away from civilian life, losing their rights as citizens, or being subjected to military ‘law,’ which is just another term for tyranny and oppression. This Citizen Army could be organized somewhat like the current Territorial Force, but with certain differences. For instance, we don’t believe—like our current leaders do—that wealth and aristocratic influence are the two most important qualifications for an effective officer; we believe that any man who can pass the necessary exams should be able to reach any rank, regardless of his wealth, and that there shouldn’t be any costs involved for those positions which the Government grants, or the pay should be enough to cover. Officers could be appointed in several ways: they might be elected by the men they command, with the only requirement being that they pass their exams, or they could be appointed based on merit—the candidate with the highest marks in the exams gets first choice of any open position, and so on in order of merit. We believe in completely abolishing courts martial; any disciplinary offenses should be punished by regular civil law—with no member of the Citizen Army losing their rights as a citizen.”
“What about the Navy?” cried several voices.
“What about the Navy?” shouted several voices.
“Nobody wants to interfere with the Navy except to make its organization more democratic—the same as that of the Citizen Army—and to protect its members from tyranny by entitling them to be tried in a civil court for any alleged offence.
“Nobody wants to mess with the Navy except to make its organization more democratic—just like the Citizen Army—and to protect its members from tyranny by giving them the right to be tried in a civil court for any alleged offense.
“It has been proved that if the soil of this country were scientifically cultivated, it is capable of producing sufficient to maintain a population of a hundred millions of people. Our present population is only about forty millions, but so long as the land remains in the possession of persons who refuse to allow it to be cultivated we shall continue to be dependent on other countries for our food supply. So long as we are in that position, and so long as foreign countries are governed by Liberal and Tory capitalists, we shall need the Navy to protect our overseas commerce from them. If we had a Citizen Army such as I have mentioned, of nine or ten millions of men and if the land of this country was properly cultivated, we should be invincible at home. No foreign power would ever be mad enough to attempt to land their forces on our shores. But they would now be able to starve us all to death in a month if it were not for the Navy. It’s a sensible and creditable position, isn’t it?” concluded Barrington. “Even in times of peace, thousands of people standing idle and tamely starving in their own fertile country, because a few land ‘Lords’ forbid them to cultivate it.”
“It has been proven that if the soil in this country were scientifically cultivated, it could produce enough to sustain a population of a hundred million people. Our current population is only about forty million, but as long as the land remains in the hands of people who refuse to let it be cultivated, we will continue to rely on other countries for our food supply. As long as we are in this situation, and as long as foreign countries are led by Liberal and Tory capitalists, we will need the Navy to protect our overseas commerce from them. If we had a Citizen Army like I mentioned, of nine or ten million men, and if this country’s land was properly cultivated, we would be unbeatable at home. No foreign power would ever be foolish enough to try to land their forces on our shores. However, they could now starve us all within a month if it weren’t for the Navy. It’s a sensible and respectable position, don’t you think?” concluded Barrington. “Even in times of peace, thousands of people stand idle and are starving in their own fertile country because a few land ‘lords’ forbid them from cultivating it.”
“Is there any more questions?” demanded Philpot, breaking a prolonged silence.
“Are there any more questions?” asked Philpot, interrupting a long silence.
“Would any Liberal or Tory capitalist like to get up into the pulpit and oppose the speaker?” the chairman went on, finding that no one responded to his appeal for questions.
“Would any Liberal or Tory capitalist like to step up to the pulpit and challenge the speaker?” the chairman continued, noticing that no one was answering his call for questions.
The silence continued.
The silence lingered.
“As there’s no more questions and no one won’t get up into the pulpit, it is now my painful duty to call upon someone to move a resolution.”
“As there are no more questions and no one is going to get up into the pulpit, it is now my unfortunate responsibility to ask someone to propose a resolution.”
“Well, Mr Chairman,” said Harlow, “I may say that when I came on this firm I was a Liberal, but through listenin’ to several lectures by Professor Owen and attendin’ the meetings on the hill at Windley and reading the books and pamphlets I bought there and from Owen, I came to the conclusion some time ago that it’s a mug’s game for us to vote for capitalists whether they calls theirselves Liberals or Tories. They’re all alike when you’re workin’ for ’em; I defy any man to say what’s the difference between a Liberal and a Tory employer. There is none—there can’t be; they’re both sweaters, and they’ve got to be, or they wouldn’t be able to compete with each other. And since that’s what they are, I say it’s a mug’s game for us to vote ’em into Parliament to rule over us and to make laws that we’ve got to abide by whether we like it or not. There’s nothing to choose between ’em, and the proof of it is that it’s never made much difference to us which party was in or which was out. It’s quite true that in the past both of ’em have passed good laws, but they’ve only done it when public opinion was so strong in favour of it that they knew there was no getting out of it, and then it was a toss up which side did it.
“Well, Mr. Chairman,” said Harlow, “I can say that when I joined this firm, I was a Liberal. But after listening to several lectures by Professor Owen, attending meetings on the hill at Windley, and reading the books and pamphlets I got there and from Owen, I realized a while ago that voting for capitalists, whether they call themselves Liberals or Tories, is a fool's game for us. They’re all the same when you work for them; I challenge anyone to point out the difference between a Liberal and a Tory employer. There isn’t one—there can’t be; they’re both exploiters, and they have to be, or they wouldn’t be able to compete with each other. And since that’s the case, I say it’s a fool's game for us to vote them into Parliament to rule over us and create laws that we have to follow whether we like it or not. There’s no real choice between them, and the evidence is that it’s never made much of a difference to us which party is in or out of power. It’s true that in the past both have passed some good laws, but only when public opinion was so strong in support of it that they knew they couldn’t avoid it, and then it was a toss-up which side actually did it.”
“That’s the way I’ve been lookin’ at things lately, and I’d almost made up my mind never to vote no more, or to trouble myself about politics at all, because although I could see there was no sense in voting for Liberal or Tory capitalists, at the same time I must admit I couldn’t make out how Socialism was going to help us. But the explanation of it which Professor Barrington has given us this afternoon has been a bit of an eye opener for me, and with your permission I should like to move as a resolution, ‘That it is the opinion of this meeting that Socialism is the only remedy for Unemployment and Poverty.’”
"That’s how I’ve been thinking about things lately, and I was really close to deciding never to vote again or worry about politics at all, because while I could see that voting for either Liberal or Tory capitalists didn’t make much sense, I also have to admit I couldn’t figure out how Socialism was going to help us. But the explanation that Professor Barrington gave us this afternoon really opened my eyes, and with your permission, I’d like to propose a resolution: ‘That this meeting agrees Socialism is the only solution for Unemployment and Poverty.’"
The conclusion of Harlow’s address was greeted with loud cheers from the Socialists, but most of the Liberal and Tory supporters of the present system maintained a sulky silence.
The end of Harlow’s speech was met with loud cheers from the Socialists, but most of the Liberal and Tory supporters of the current system stayed silent, looking sullen.
“I’ll second that resolution,” said Easton.
“I agree with that resolution,” said Easton.
“And I’ll lay a bob both ways,” remarked Bundy. The resolution was then put, and though the majority were against it, the Chairman declared it was carried unanimously.
“And I’ll bet a dollar on both sides,” said Bundy. The resolution was then put to a vote, and although the majority opposed it, the Chairman announced it was approved unanimously.
By this time the violence of the storm had in a great measure abated, but as rain was still falling it was decided not to attempt to resume work that day. Besides, it would have been too late, even if the weather had cleared up.
By this time, the storm's intensity had mostly lessened, but since rain was still falling, it was decided not to attempt to resume work that day. Besides, it would have been too late even if the weather had cleared up.
“P’raps it’s just as well it ’as rained,” remarked one man. “If it ’adn’t some of us might ’ave got the sack tonight. As it is, there’ll be hardly enough for all of us to do tomorrer and Saturday mornin’ even if it is fine.”
“Maybe it’s just as well it’s rained,” said one man. “If it hadn’t, some of us might have gotten fired tonight. As it is, there’ll barely be enough for all of us to do tomorrow and Saturday morning, even if it is nice out.”
This was true: nearly all the outside was finished, and what remained to be done was ready for the final coat. Inside all there was to do was to colour wash the walls and to give the woodwork of the kitchen and scullery the last coat of paint.
This was true: almost everything on the outside was done, and what was left was ready for the final coat. On the inside, all that was left to do was to wash the walls with color and give the kitchen and scullery woodwork the last coat of paint.
It was inevitable—unless the firm had some other work for them to do somewhere else—that there would be a great slaughter on Saturday.
It was unavoidable—unless the firm had some other work for them to do elsewhere—that there would be a huge massacre on Saturday.
“Now,” said Philpot, assuming what he meant to be the manner of a school teacher addressing children, “I wants you hall to make a speshall heffort and get ’ere very early in the mornin’—say about four o’clock—and them wot doos the most work tomorrer, will get a prize on Saturday.”
“Now,” said Philpot, trying to sound like a school teacher talking to kids, “I want all of you to make a special effort and get here very early in the morning—say around four o’clock—and those who do the most work tomorrow will get a prize on Saturday.”
“What’ll it be, the sack?” inquired Harlow.
“What’s it gonna be, the sack?” Harlow asked.
“Yes,” replied Philpot, “and not honly will you get a prize for good conduck tomorrer, but if you all keep on workin’ like we’ve bin doing lately till you’re too hold and wore hout to do any more, you’ll be allowed to go to a nice workhouse for the rest of your lives! and each one of you will be given a title—‘Pauper!’”
“Yes,” replied Philpot, “and not only will you get a reward for good behavior tomorrow, but if you all keep working like we have been lately until you’re too old and worn out to do anything else, you’ll be allowed to go to a nice workhouse for the rest of your lives! And each one of you will be given a title—‘Pauper!’”
And they laughed!
And they laughed!
Although the majority of them had mothers or fathers or other near relatives who had already succeeded to the title—they laughed!
Although most of them had mothers, fathers, or other close relatives who had already inherited the title—they laughed!
As they were going home, Crass paused at the gate, and pointing up to the large gable at the end of the house, he said to Philpot:
As they were heading home, Crass stopped at the gate, and pointing up to the big gable at the end of the house, he said to Philpot:
“You’ll want the longest ladder—the 65, for that, tomorrow.”
“You’ll need the longest ladder—the 65 for that, tomorrow.”
Philpot looked up at the gable.
Philpot looked up at the roof.
It was very high.
It was really high.
Chapter 46
The “Sixty-five”
The next morning after breakfast, Philpot, Sawkins, Harlow and Barrington went to the Yard to get the long ladder—the 65—so called because it had sixty-five rungs. It was really what is known as a builder’s scaffold ladder, and it had been strengthened by several iron bolts or rods which passed through just under some of the rungs. One side of the ladder had an iron band or ribbon twisted and nailed round it spirally. It was not at all suitable for painters’ work, being altogether too heavy and cumbrous. However, as none of the others were long enough to reach the high gable at the Refuge, they managed, with a struggle, to get it down from the hooks and put it on one of the handcarts and soon passed through the streets of mean and dingy houses in the vicinity of the yard, and began the ascent of the long hill.
The next morning after breakfast, Philpot, Sawkins, Harlow, and Barrington went to the yard to grab the long ladder—the 65—named that because it had sixty-five rungs. It was actually a builder’s scaffold ladder, reinforced with several iron bolts or rods that ran through just below some of the rungs. One side of the ladder had an iron band twisted and nailed around it in a spiral. It wasn’t suitable for painting work at all, as it was way too heavy and cumbersome. However, since none of the other ladders were tall enough to reach the high gable at the Refuge, they managed, after some struggle, to get it down from the hooks, put it on one of the handcarts, and soon made their way through the streets of shabby, worn-out houses in the area and started climbing the long hill.
There had been a lot of rain during the night, and the sky was still overcast with dark grey clouds. The cart went heavily over the muddy road; Sawkins was at the helm, holding the end of the ladder and steering; the others walked a little further ahead, at the sides of the cart.
There had been a lot of rain overnight, and the sky was still covered with dark grey clouds. The cart struggled to move over the muddy road; Sawkins was in charge, holding the end of the ladder and steering; the others walked a bit ahead, on the sides of the cart.
It was such hard work that by the time they were half-way up the hill they were so exhausted and out of breath that they had to stop for a rest.
It was such hard work that by the time they were halfway up the hill, they were so tired and out of breath that they had to take a break.
“This is a bit of all right, ain’t it?” remarked Harlow as he took off his cap and wiped the sweat from his forehead with his handkerchief.
“This is pretty great, isn’t it?” Harlow said as he took off his cap and wiped the sweat from his forehead with his handkerchief.
While they rested they kept a good look out for Rushton or Hunter, who were likely to pass by at any moment.
While they rested, they kept a close watch for Rushton or Hunter, who could show up at any moment.
At first, no one made any reply to Harlow’s observation, for they were all out of breath and Philpot’s lean fingers trembled violently as he wiped the perspiration from his face.
At first, nobody responded to Harlow's comment because they were all out of breath, and Philpot's thin fingers shook uncontrollably as he wiped the sweat from his face.
“Yes, mate,” he said despondently, after a while. “It’s one way of gettin’ a livin’ and there’s plenty better ways.”
“Yes, man,” he said gloomily after a while. “It’s one way to make a living, but there are a lot of better ways.”
In addition to the fact that his rheumatism was exceptionally bad, he felt unusually low-spirited this morning; the gloomy weather and the prospect of a long day of ladder work probably had something to do with it.
In addition to his really bad rheumatism, he felt especially down this morning; the dreary weather and the thought of a long day of ladder work probably contributed to it.
“A ‘living’ is right,” said Barrington bitterly. He also was exhausted with the struggle up the hill and enraged by the woebegone appearance of poor old Philpot, who was panting and quivering from the exertion.
“A ‘living’ is right,” Barrington said bitterly. He was also worn out from the struggle up the hill and infuriated by the sad sight of poor old Philpot, who was panting and trembling from the effort.
They relapsed into silence. The unaccountable depression that possessed Philpot deprived him of all his usual jocularity and filled him with melancholy thoughts. He had travelled up and down this hill a great many times before under similar circumstances and he said to himself that if he had half a quid now for every time he had pushed a cart up this road, he wouldn’t need to do anyone out of a job all the rest of his life.
They fell silent again. The inexplicable sadness that overtook Philpot stripped him of his usual humor and filled him with gloomy thoughts. He had traveled up and down this hill countless times before in similar situations, and he told himself that if he had five pounds for every time he had pushed a cart up this road, he wouldn't have to take anyone's job for the rest of his life.
The shop where he had been apprenticed used to be just down at the bottom; the place had been pulled down years ago, and the ground was now occupied by more pretentious buildings. Not quite so far down the road—on the other side—he could see the church where he used to attend Sunday School when he was a boy, and where he was married just thirty years ago. Presently—when they reached the top of the hill—he would be able to look across the valley and see the spire of the other church, the one in the graveyard, where all those who were dear to him had been one by one laid to rest. He felt that he would not be sorry when the time came to join them there. Possibly, in the next world—if there were such a place—they might all be together once more.
The shop where he did his apprenticeship used to be right at the bottom; it was torn down years ago, and now there were fancier buildings on the site. Not too far down the road—on the other side—he could see the church where he attended Sunday School as a kid and where he got married just thirty years ago. Soon—when they reached the top of the hill—he would be able to look across the valley and see the spire of the other church, the one in the graveyard, where everyone he loved had been laid to rest one by one. He felt that he wouldn’t mind when the time came to join them there. Maybe, in the next world—if there is such a place—they could all be together again.
He was suddenly aroused from these thoughts by an exclamation from Harlow.
He was suddenly pulled out of these thoughts by an exclamation from Harlow.
“Look out! Here comes Rushton.”
“Watch out! Here comes Rushton.”
They immediately resumed their journey. Rushton was coming up the hill in his dog-cart with Grinder sitting by his side. They passed so closely that Philpot—who was on that side of the cart—was splashed with mud from the wheels of the trap.
They quickly continued their journey. Rushton was driving up the hill in his dog cart, with Grinder sitting next to him. They passed so close that Philpot—who was on that side of the cart—got splashed with mud from the wheels of the trap.
“Them’s some of your chaps, ain’t they?” remarked Grinder.
“Those are some of your guys, right?” Grinder said.
“Yes,” replied Rushton. “We’re doing a job up this way.”
“Yes,” Rushton replied. “We’re working on a project around here.”
“I should ’ave thought it would pay you better to use a ’orse for sich work as that,” said Grinder.
“I should have thought it would be more beneficial to use a horse for work like that,” said Grinder.
“We do use the horses whenever it’s necessary for very big loads, you know,” answered Rushton, and added with a laugh: “But the donkeys are quite strong enough for such a job as that.”
“We do use the horses whenever it’s necessary for really big loads, you know,” Rushton replied, adding with a laugh, “But the donkeys are strong enough for a job like that.”
The “donkeys” struggled on up the hill for about another hundred yards and then they were forced to halt again.
The “donkeys” struggled up the hill for another hundred yards or so and then had to stop again.
“We mustn’t stop long, you know,” said Harlow. “Most likely he’s gone to the job, and he’ll wait to see how long it takes us to get there.”
“We shouldn’t stick around too long, you know,” Harlow said. “He’s probably gone to the job, and he’ll be waiting to see how long it takes us to get there.”
Barrington felt inclined to say that in that case Rushton would have to wait, but he remained silent, for he remembered that although he personally did not care a brass button whether he got the sack or not, the others were not so fortunately circumstanced.
Barrington felt like saying that in that case Rushton would have to wait, but he stayed quiet because he remembered that, although he personally didn't care at all if he got fired or not, the others weren't as lucky.
Whilst they were resting, another two-legged donkey passed by pushing another cart—or rather, holding it back, for he was coming slowly down the hill. Another Heir of all the ages—another Imperialist—a degraded, brutalized wretch, clad in filthy, stinking rags, his toes protruding from the rotten broken boots that were tied with bits of string upon his stockingless feet. The ramshackle cart was loaded with empty bottles and putrid rags, heaped loosely in the cart and packed into a large sack. Old coats and trousers, dresses, petticoats, and under-clothing, greasy, mildewed and malodorous. As he crept along with his eyes on the ground, the man gave utterance at intervals to uncouth, inarticulate sounds.
While they were resting, another two-legged donkey walked by, dragging along a cart—or rather, holding it back, since he was coming slowly down the hill. Another heir of all the ages—another imperialist—a degraded, brutalized wretch, dressed in filthy, stinking rags, with his toes sticking out from rotten, broken boots tied with bits of string on his bare feet. The shabby cart was loaded with empty bottles and disgusting rags, piled loosely in the cart and stuffed into a large sack. Old coats, pants, dresses, petticoats, and underwear, greasy, moldy, and smelly. As he shuffled along, staring at the ground, the man occasionally made strange, inarticulate sounds.
“That’s another way of gettin’ a livin’,” said Sawkins with a laugh as the miserable creature slunk past.
"That’s another way to make a living," said Sawkins with a laugh as the miserable person walked by.
Harlow also laughed, and Barrington regarded them curiously. He thought it strange that they did not seem to realize that they might some day become like this man themselves.
Harlow also laughed, and Barrington looked at them with curiosity. He thought it was odd that they didn’t seem to understand that they could one day end up like this man themselves.
“I’ve often wondered what they does with all them dirty old rags,” said Philpot.
“I’ve often wondered what they do with all those dirty old rags,” said Philpot.
“Made into paper,” replied Harlow, briefly.
"Turned into paper," Harlow replied shortly.
“Some of them are,” said Barrington, “and some are manufactured into shoddy cloth and made into Sunday clothes for working men.”
“Some of them are,” said Barrington, “and some are made into low-quality fabric and turned into Sunday clothes for working men.”
“There’s all sorts of different ways of gettin’ a livin’,” remarked Sawkins, after a pause. “I read in a paper the other day about a bloke wot goes about lookin’ for open trap doors and cellar flaps in front of shops. As soon as he spotted one open, he used to go and fall down in it; and then he’d be took to the ’orspital, and when he got better he used to go and threaten to bring a action against the shop-keeper and get damages, and most of ’em used to part up without goin’ in front of the judge at all. But one day a slop was a watchin’ of ’im, and seen ’im chuck ’isself down one, and when they picked ’im up they found he’d broke his leg. So they took ’im to the ’orspital and when he came out and went round to the shop and started talkin’ about bringin’ a action for damages, the slop collared ’im and they give ’im six months.”
“There are all sorts of ways to make a living,” Sawkins remarked after a pause. “I read in a newspaper the other day about a guy who goes around looking for open trap doors and cellar flaps in front of shops. As soon as he spots one open, he falls down into it; then he gets taken to the hospital, and when he gets better, he threatens to sue the shopkeeper for damages. Most of them end up settling without going to court at all. But one day, a cop was watching him and saw him throw himself down one, and when they picked him up, they found he had broken his leg. So they took him to the hospital, and when he came out and went to the shop to start talking about suing for damages, the cop grabbed him, and they gave him six months.”
“Yes, I read about that,” said Harlow, “and there was another case of a chap who was run over by a motor, and they tried to make out as ’e put ’isself in the way on purpose; but ’e got some money out of the swell it belonged to; a ’undered pound I think it was.”
“Yes, I read about that,” Harlow said, “and there was another case of a guy who was hit by a car, and they tried to claim he stepped in front of it on purpose; but he got some money from the rich guy it belonged to; I think it was a hundred pounds.”
“I only wish as one of their motors would run inter me,” said Philpot, making a feeble attempt at a joke. “I lay I’d get some a’ me own back out of ’em.”
“I only wish one of their motors would run into me,” said Philpot, making a weak attempt at a joke. “I bet I’d get some of my own back out of them.”
The others laughed, and Harlow was about to make some reply but at that moment a cyclist appeared coming down the hill from the direction of the job. It was Nimrod, so they resumed their journey once more and presently Hunter shot past on his machine without taking any notice of them...
The others laughed, and Harlow was about to say something back, but at that moment, a cyclist came down the hill from the direction of the job. It was Nimrod, so they continued on their way, and soon Hunter zoomed past on his bike without acknowledging them...
When they arrived they found that Rushton had not been there at all, but Nimrod had. Crass said that he had kicked up no end of a row because they had not called at the yard at six o’clock that morning for the ladder, instead of going for it after breakfast—making two journeys instead of one, and he had also been ratty because the big gable had not been started the first thing that morning.
When they arrived, they discovered that Rushton wasn’t there at all, but Nimrod was. Crass said he had caused a huge fuss because they hadn’t picked up the ladder at the yard at six o'clock that morning, choosing to get it after breakfast instead—making two trips instead of one. He had also been irritable because they hadn’t started the big gable first thing that morning.
They carried the ladder into the garden and laid it on the ground along the side of the house where the gable was. A brick wall about eight feet high separated the grounds of “The Refuge” from those of the premises next door. Between this wall and the side wall of the house was a space about six feet wide and this space formed a kind of alley or lane or passage along the side of the house. They laid the ladder on the ground along this passage, the “foot” was placed about half-way through; just under the centre of the gable, and as it lay there, the other end of the ladder reached right out to the front railings.
They carried the ladder into the garden and laid it on the ground along the side of the house where the gable was. A brick wall about eight feet high separated the grounds of “The Refuge” from the neighboring property. Between this wall and the side wall of the house was a space about six feet wide, creating a sort of alley or passage along the side of the house. They placed the ladder in this passage, with the "foot" positioned about halfway in; just under the center of the gable, and as it lay there, the other end of the ladder extended right out to the front railings.
Next, it was necessary that two men should go up into the attic—the window of which was just under the point of the gable—and drop the end of a long rope down to the others who would tie it to the top of the ladder. Then two men would stand on the bottom rung, so as to keep the “foot” down, and the three others would have to raise the ladder up, while the two men up in the attic hauled on the rope.
Next, two men needed to go up into the attic—the window of which was located just under the peak of the gable—and drop the end of a long rope down to the others who would tie it to the top of the ladder. Then, two men would stand on the bottom rung to keep the “foot” stable, while the other three would lift the ladder up, with the two men in the attic pulling on the rope.
They called Bundy and his mate Ned Dawson to help, and it was arranged that Harlow and Crass should stand on the foot because they were the heaviest. Philpot, Bundy, and Barrington were to “raise”, and Dawson and Sawkins were to go up to the attic and haul on the rope.
They called Bundy and his friend Ned Dawson for assistance, and it was decided that Harlow and Crass would stay at the bottom since they were the heaviest. Philpot, Bundy, and Barrington would do the lifting, while Dawson and Sawkins would head up to the attic to pull on the rope.
“Where’s the rope?” asked Crass.
“Where’s the rope?” asked Crass.
The others looked blankly at him. None of them had thought of bringing one from the yard.
The others stared at him in confusion. None of them had thought to bring one from the yard.
“Why, ain’t there one ’ere?” asked Philpot.
“Why, isn’t there one here?” asked Philpot.
“One ’ere? Of course there ain’t one ’ere!” snarled Crass. “Do you mean to say as you ain’t brought one, then?”
“Is there one here? Of course there isn't one here!” Crass snapped. “Are you saying that you didn't bring one, then?”
Philpot stammered out something about having thought there was one at the house already, and the others said they had not thought about it at all.
Philpot stumbled over his words, saying he thought there was already one at the house, and the others admitted they hadn’t considered it at all.
“Well, what the bloody hell are we to do now?” cried Crass, angrily.
“Well, what the hell are we supposed to do now?” shouted Crass, angrily.
“I’ll go to the yard and get one,” suggested Barrington. “I can do it in twenty minutes there and back.”
“I'll head to the yard and grab one,” Barrington suggested. “I can be there and back in twenty minutes.”
“Yes! and a bloody fine row there’d be if Hunter was to see you! ’Ere it’s nearly ten o’clock and we ain’t made a start on this gable wot we ought to ’ave started first thing this morning.”
“Yeah! There would be a huge fight if Hunter saw you! Look, it’s almost ten o’clock and we haven’t even started on this gable that we should have started on first thing this morning.”
“Couldn’t we tie two or three of those short ropes together?” suggested Philpot. “Those that the other two ladders was spliced with?”
“Couldn’t we tie two or three of those short ropes together?” suggested Philpot. “Those that the other two ladders were spliced with?”
As there was sure to be a row if they delayed long enough to send to the yard, it was decided to act on Philpot’s suggestion.
Since there would definitely be a scene if they took too long to send for the yard, they decided to go with Philpot’s suggestion.
Several of the short ropes were accordingly tied together but upon examination it was found that some parts were so weak that even Crass had to admit it would be dangerous to attempt to haul the heavy ladder up with them.
Several of the short ropes were tied together, but upon inspection, it was found that some sections were so weak that even Crass had to admit it would be risky to try to lift the heavy ladder with them.
“Well, the only thing as I can see for it,” he said, “is that the boy will ’ave to go down to the yard and get the long rope. It won’t do for anyone else to go: there’s been one row already about the waste of time because we didn’t call at the yard for the ladder at six o’clock.”
“Well, the only thing I can think of,” he said, “is that the kid will have to go down to the yard and grab the long rope. It won’t be good for anyone else to go: there’s already been a fight about wasting time because we didn’t stop by the yard for the ladder at six o’clock.”
Bert was down in the basement of the house limewashing a cellar. Crass called him up and gave him the necessary instructions, chief of which was to get back again as soon as ever he could. The boy ran off, and while they were waiting for him to come back the others went on with their several jobs. Philpot returned to the small gable he had been painting before breakfast, which he had not quite finished. As he worked a sudden and unaccountable terror took possession of him. He did not want to do that other gable; he felt too ill; and he almost resolved that he would ask Crass if he would mind letting him do something else. There were several younger men who would not object to doing it—it would be mere child’s play to them, and Barrington had already—yesterday—offered to change jobs with him.
Bert was in the basement of the house limewashing a cellar. Crass called him up and gave him the necessary instructions, mainly to come back as soon as he could. The boy ran off, and while they waited for his return, the others continued with their various tasks. Philpot went back to the small gable he had been painting before breakfast, which he hadn’t quite finished. As he worked, a sudden and unexplainable fear overwhelmed him. He didn’t want to do the other gable; he felt too sick, and he almost decided to ask Crass if he would mind letting him do something else. There were a few younger guys who wouldn’t mind taking it on—it would be easy for them, and Barrington had already—yesterday—offered to switch jobs with him.
But then, when he thought of what the probable consequences would be, he hesitated to take that course, and tried to persuade himself that he would be able to get through with the work all right. He did not want Crass or Hunter to mark him as being too old for ladder work.
But then, when he considered the likely consequences, he hesitated to take that path and tried to convince himself that he could handle the job just fine. He didn’t want Crass or Hunter to see him as too old for ladder work.
Bert came back in about half an hour flushed and sweating with the weight of the rope and with the speed he had made. He delivered it to Crass and then returned to his cellar and went on with the limewashing, while Crass passed the word for Philpot and the others to come and raise the ladder. He handed the rope to Ned Dawson, who took it up to the attic, accompanied by Sawkins; arrived there they lowered one end out of the window down to the others.
Bert came back in about half an hour, flushed and sweating from carrying the rope and the speed he had gone. He handed it over to Crass and then went back to his cellar to continue limewashing, while Crass called for Philpot and the others to come and raise the ladder. He gave the rope to Ned Dawson, who took it up to the attic, with Sawkins following. Once they got there, they lowered one end out of the window down to the others.
“If you ask me,” said Ned Dawson, who was critically examining the strands of the rope as he passed it out through the open window, “If you ask me, I don’t see as this is much better than the one we made up by tyin’ the short pieces together. Look ’ere,”—he indicated a part of the rope that was very frayed and worn—“and ’ere’s another place just as bad.”
“If you ask me,” said Ned Dawson, who was closely inspecting the strands of the rope as he passed it through the open window, “I don’t think this is any better than the one we made by tying the short pieces together. Look here,”—he pointed out a section of the rope that was frayed and worn—“and here’s another spot just as bad.”
“Well, for Christ’s sake don’t say nothing about it now,” replied Sawkins. “There’s been enough talk and waste of time over this job already.”
“Well, for heaven's sake, don’t say anything about it now,” replied Sawkins. “There’s been enough talk and time wasted on this job already.”
Ned made no answer and the end having by this time reached the ground, Bundy made it fast to the ladder, about six rungs from the top.
Ned didn't respond, and by this point, the end had reached the ground. Bundy secured it to the ladder, about six rungs from the top.
The ladder was lying on the ground, parallel to the side of the house. The task of raising it would have been much easier if they had been able to lay it at right angles to the house wall, but this was impossible because of the premises next door and the garden wall between the two houses. On account of its having to be raised in this manner the men at the top would not be able to get a straight pull on the rope; they would have to stand back in the room without being able to see the ladder, and the rope would have to be drawn round the corner of the window, rasping against the edge of the stone sill and the brickwork.
The ladder was lying on the ground, parallel to the side of the house. It would have been much easier to raise if they could have placed it at a right angle to the wall, but that wasn't possible because of the property next door and the garden wall between the two houses. Because of having to raise it this way, the men at the top wouldn’t be able to pull the rope straight; they would have to stand back in the room without seeing the ladder, and the rope would need to be pulled around the corner of the window, scraping against the edge of the stone sill and the brickwork.
The end of the rope having been made fast to the top of the ladder, Crass and Harlow stood on the foot and the other three raised the top from the ground; as Barrington was the tallest, he took the middle position—underneath the ladder—grasping the rungs, Philpot being on his left and Bundy on his right, each holding one side of the ladder.
The end of the rope was secured to the top of the ladder, Crass and Harlow stood at the bottom, while the other three lifted the top off the ground. Since Barrington was the tallest, he took the middle spot—under the ladder—holding onto the rungs, with Philpot on his left and Bundy on his right, each one gripping a side of the ladder.
At a signal from Crass, Dawson and Sawkins began to haul on the rope, and the top of the ladder began to rise slowly into the air.
At a cue from Crass, Dawson and Sawkins started pulling on the rope, and the top of the ladder began to lift slowly into the air.
Philpot was not of much use at this work, which made it all the harder for the other two who were lifting, besides putting an extra strain on the rope. His lack of strength, and the efforts of Barrington and Bundy to make up for him caused the ladder to sway from side to side, as it would not have done if they had all been equally capable.
Philpot wasn't very helpful with this task, which made it even harder for the other two who were lifting, adding extra pressure on the rope as well. His weakness, along with Barrington and Bundy trying to compensate for him, caused the ladder to wobble from side to side, something that wouldn't have happened if they all had equal strength.
Meanwhile, upstairs, Dawson and Sawkins—although the ladder was as yet only a little more than half the way up—noticed, as they hauled and strained on the rope, that it had worn a groove for itself in the corner of the brickwork at the side of the window; and every now and then, although they pulled with all their strength, they were not able to draw in any part of the rope at all; and it seemed to them as if those others down below must have let go their hold altogether, or ceased lifting.
Meanwhile, upstairs, Dawson and Sawkins—although the ladder was only a little more than halfway up—noticed, as they pulled and strained on the rope, that it had worn a groove in the corner of the brickwork by the window. Every now and then, even though they pulled with all their strength, they couldn't bring in any part of the rope at all. It seemed to them as if the people below must have let go of their hold completely or stopped lifting.
That was what actually happened. The three men found the weight so overpowering, that once or twice they were compelled to relax their efforts for a few seconds, and at those times the rope had to carry the whole weight of the ladder; and the part of the rope that had to bear the greatest strain was the part that chanced to be at the angle of the brickwork at the side of the window. And presently it happened that one of the frayed and worn places that Dawson had remarked about was just at the angle during one of those momentary pauses. On one end there hung the ponderous ladder, straining the frayed rope against the corner of the brickwork and the sharp edge of the stone sill, at the other end were Dawson and Sawkins pulling with all their strength, and in that instant the rope snapped like a piece of thread. One end remained in the hands of Sawkins and Dawson, who reeled backwards into the room, and the other end flew up into the air, writhing like the lash of a gigantic whip. For a moment the heavy ladder swayed from side to side: Barrington, standing underneath, with his hands raised above his head grasping one of the rungs, struggled desperately to hold it up. At his right stood Bundy, also with arms upraised holding the side; and on the left, between the ladder and the wall, was Philpot.
That’s what actually happened. The three men found the weight so overwhelming that a couple of times they had to take a break for a few seconds, and during those moments the rope had to support the entire weight of the ladder. The part of the rope that took the most strain was the section at the angle of the brickwork by the window. Eventually, one of the frayed spots that Dawson had mentioned was right at that angle during one of those brief pauses. At one end, the heavy ladder was pulling the frayed rope against the corner of the brickwork and the sharp edge of the stone sill, while at the other end, Dawson and Sawkins were pulling with all their might, and in that instant the rope snapped like a thread. One end stayed in the hands of Sawkins and Dawson, who stumbled backward into the room, while the other end shot up into the air, twisting like the whip of a giant. For a moment, the heavy ladder swayed side to side: Barrington, standing underneath it with his hands raised, grabbing one of the rungs, struggled desperately to hold it up. To his right was Bundy, also with his arms raised holding onto the side; and on the left, between the ladder and the wall, was Philpot.
For a brief space they strove fiercely to support the overpowering weight, but Philpot had no strength, and the ladder, swaying over to the left, crashed down, crushing him upon the ground and against the wall of the house. He fell face downwards, with the ladder across his shoulders; the side that had the iron bands twisted round it fell across the back of his neck, forcing his face against the bricks at the base of the wall. He uttered no cry and was quite still, with blood streaming from the cuts on his face and trickling from his ears.
For a moment, they struggled hard to hold up the crushing weight, but Philpot lacked the strength, and the ladder, swaying to the left, came crashing down, crushing him against the ground and the wall of the house. He fell face down, with the ladder across his shoulders; the side with the iron bands twisted around it landed across the back of his neck, pushing his face into the bricks at the base of the wall. He didn't cry out and was completely still, with blood streaming from the cuts on his face and trickling from his ears.
Barrington was also hurled to the ground with his head and arms under the ladder; his head and face were cut and bleeding and he was unconscious; none of the others was hurt, for they had all had time to jump clear when the ladder fell. Their shouts soon brought all the other men running to the spot, and the ladder was quickly lifted off the two motionless figures. At first it seemed that Philpot was dead, but Easton rushed off for a neighbouring doctor, who came in a few minutes.
Barrington was thrown to the ground, with his head and arms trapped under the ladder. His head and face were bleeding, and he was unconscious. The others managed to jump out of the way when the ladder fell, so they were all unharmed. Their shouts quickly brought the other men running to the scene, and they soon lifted the ladder off the two still figures. At first, it looked like Philpot was dead, but Easton ran to get a nearby doctor, who arrived in a few minutes.
He knelt down and carefully examined the crushed and motionless form of Philpot, while the other men stood by in terrified silence.
He knelt down and carefully looked over the crushed and motionless body of Philpot, while the other men stood by in terrified silence.
Barrington, who fortunately was but momentarily stunned was sitting against the wall and had suffered nothing more serious than minor cuts and bruises.
Barrington, who thankfully was only briefly dazed, was sitting against the wall and had only sustained minor cuts and bruises.
The doctor’s examination of Philpot was a very brief one, and when he rose from his knees, even before he spoke they knew from his manner that their worst fears were realized.
The doctor's examination of Philpot was very quick, and when he got up from his knees, even before he said anything, they could tell from his demeanor that their worst fears had come true.
Philpot was dead.
Philpot is dead.
Chapter 47
The Ghouls
Barrington did not do any more work that day, but before going home he went to the doctor’s house and the latter dressed the cuts on his head and arms. Philpot’s body was taken away on the ambulance to the mortuary.
Barrington didn’t do any more work that day, but before heading home, he stopped by the doctor’s house, where the doctor treated the cuts on his head and arms. Philpot’s body was taken away by ambulance to the morgue.
Hunter arrived at the house shortly afterwards and at once began to shout and bully because the painting of the gable was not yet commenced. When he heard of the accident he blamed them for using the rope, and said they should have asked for a new one. Before he went away he had a long, private conversation with Crass, who told him that Philpot had no relatives and that his life was insured for ten pounds in a society of which Crass was also a member. He knew that Philpot had arranged that in the event of his death the money was to be paid to the old woman with whom he lodged, who was a very close friend. The result of this confidential talk was that Crass and Hunter came to the conclusion that it was probable that she would be very glad to be relieved of the trouble of attending to the business of the funeral, and that Crass, as a close friend of the dead man, and a fellow member of the society, was the most suitable person to take charge of the business for her. He was already slightly acquainted with the old lady, so he would go to see her at once and get her authority to act on her behalf. Of course, they would not be able to do much until after the inquest, but they could get the coffin made—as Hunter knew the mortuary keeper there would be no difficulty about getting in for a minute to measure the corpse.
Hunter arrived at the house soon after and immediately started shouting and complaining because the painting of the gable hadn’t started yet. When he heard about the accident, he blamed them for using the rope and insisted they should have requested a new one. Before he left, he had a long, private conversation with Crass, who informed him that Philpot had no relatives and that his life was insured for ten pounds with a society of which Crass was also a member. He knew that Philpot had arranged for the money to go to the old woman he lived with, who was a very close friend. From this confidential talk, Crass and Hunter concluded that she would likely appreciate being relieved of the burdens of arranging the funeral, and that Crass, as a close friend of the deceased and a fellow member of the society, was the best person to take care of the arrangements for her. He was already a bit familiar with the old lady, so he would go see her right away to get her permission to act on her behalf. Of course, they wouldn’t be able to do much until after the inquest, but they could arrange to have the coffin made—since Hunter knew the mortuary keeper, there wouldn’t be any trouble getting in for a moment to measure the body.
This matter having been arranged, Hunter departed to order a new rope, and shortly afterwards Crass—having made sure that everyone would have plenty to do while he was gone—quietly slipped away to go to see Philpot’s landlady. He went off so secretly that the men did not know that he had been away at all until they saw him come back just before twelve o’clock.
This situation settled, Hunter left to get a new rope, and soon after, Crass—making sure everyone had enough work to keep them busy while he was gone—quietly slipped away to visit Philpot’s landlady. He left so discreetly that the men didn’t realize he was gone until they saw him return just before noon.
The new rope was brought to the house about one o’clock and this time the ladder was raised without any mishap. Harlow was put on to paint the gable, and he felt so nervous that he was allowed to have Sawkins to stand by and hold the ladder all the time. Everyone felt nervous that afternoon, and they all went about their work in an unusually careful manner.
The new rope was delivered to the house around one o’clock, and this time the ladder was set up without any issues. Harlow was assigned to paint the gable, and he was so anxious that they let him have Sawkins stand by to hold the ladder the whole time. Everyone felt on edge that afternoon, and they all went about their tasks unusually carefully.
When Bert had finished limewashing the cellar, Crass set him to work outside, painting the gate of the side entrance. While the boy was thus occupied he was accosted by a solemn-looking man who asked him about the accident. The solemn stranger was very sympathetic and inquired what was the name of the man who had been killed, and whether he was married. Bert informed him that Philpot was a widower, and that he had no children.
When Bert finished limewashing the cellar, Crass had him work outside, painting the side entrance gate. While he was busy, a serious-looking man approached him and asked about the accident. The solemn stranger was very sympathetic and wanted to know the name of the man who had died and if he was married. Bert told him that Philpot was a widower and had no children.
“Ah, well, that’s so much the better, isn’t it?” said the stranger shaking his head mournfully. “It’s a dreadful thing, you know, when there’s children left unprovided for. You don’t happen to know where he lived, do you?”
“Ah, well, that’s even better, isn’t it?” said the stranger, shaking his head sadly. “It’s a terrible thing, you know, when there are children left without support. You don’t happen to know where he lived, do you?”
“Yes,” said Bert, mentioning the address and beginning to wonder what the solemn man wanted to know for, and why he appeared to be so sorry for Philpot since it was quite evident that he had never known him.
“Yes,” said Bert, giving the address and starting to wonder what the serious man wanted to know and why he seemed so sorry for Philpot, even though it was clear that he had never met him.
“Thanks very much,” said the man, pulling out his pocket-book and making a note of it. “Thanks very much indeed. Good afternoon,” and he hurried off.
“Thanks a lot,” said the man, pulling out his wallet and making a note of it. “Thanks so much. Have a good afternoon,” and he quickly left.
“Good afternoon, sir,” said Bert and he turned to resume his work. Crass came along the garden just as the mysterious stranger was disappearing round the corner.
“Good afternoon, sir,” Bert said as he turned back to his work. Crass walked through the garden just as the mysterious stranger was rounding the corner.
“What did HE want?” said Crass, who had seen the man talking to Bert.
“What did he want?” said Crass, who had seen the man talking to Bert.
“I don’t know exactly; he was asking about the accident, and whether Joe left any children, and where he lived. He must be a very decent sort of chap, I should think. He seems quite sorry about it.”
“I’m not sure; he was asking about the accident, whether Joe had any kids, and where he lived. He must be a really decent guy, I think. He seems genuinely sorry about it.”
“Oh, he does, does he?” said Crass, with a peculiar expression. “Don’t you know who he is?”
“Oh, he does, does he?” Crass said, with a strange look on his face. “Don’t you know who he is?”
“No,” replied the boy; “but I thought p’raps he was a reporter of some paper.”
“No,” replied the boy; “but I thought maybe he was a reporter for some newspaper.”
“’E ain’t no reporter: that’s old Snatchum the undertaker. ’E’s smellin’ round after a job; but ’e’s out of it this time, smart as ’e thinks ’e is.”
“’He’s not a reporter: that’s old Snatchum the undertaker. He’s sniffing around for a job; but he’s out of luck this time, as clever as he thinks he is.”
Barrington came back the next morning to work, and at breakfast-time there was a lot of talk about the accident. They said that it was all very well for Hunter to talk like that about the rope, but he had known for a long time that it was nearly worn out. Newman said that only about three weeks previously when they were raising a ladder at another job he had shown the rope to him, and Misery had replied that there was nothing wrong with it. Several others besides Newman claimed to have mentioned the matter to Hunter, and each of them said he had received the same sort of reply. But when Barrington suggested that they should attend the inquest and give evidence to that effect, they all became suddenly silent and in a conversation Barrington afterwards had with Newman the latter pointed out that if he were to do so, it would do no good to Philpot. It would not bring him back but it would be sure to do himself a lot of harm. He would never get another job at Rushton’s and probably many of the other employers would “mark him” as well.
Barrington returned to work the next morning, and at breakfast, there was a lot of buzz about the accident. People said it was easy for Hunter to talk about the rope, but he had known for a long time that it was nearly worn out. Newman mentioned that just about three weeks earlier, when they were raising a ladder at another site, Hunter had shown him the rope, and Misery had replied that there was nothing wrong with it. Several others, besides Newman, claimed they had brought this issue up with Hunter, and each of them said they received the same kind of response. But when Barrington suggested attending the inquest to testify about that, everyone suddenly went quiet. In a later conversation with Newman, he pointed out that if Barrington went through with it, it wouldn't help Philpot. It wouldn’t bring him back, but it would definitely harm Barrington. He would likely never get another job at Rushton’s, and probably many other employers would also "mark him" negatively.
“So if YOU say anything about it,” concluded Newman, “don’t bring my name into it.”
“So if YOU say anything about it,” Newman finished, “don’t mention my name.”
Barrington was constrained to admit that all things considered it was right for Newman to mind his own business. He felt that it would not be fair to urge him or anyone else to do or say anything that would injure themselves.
Barrington had to acknowledge that, when looking at the bigger picture, it was right for Newman to focus on his own concerns. He believed it wouldn’t be fair to push him or anyone else to do or say anything that could harm themselves.
Misery came to the house about eleven o’clock and informed several of the hands that as work was very slack they would get their back day at pay time. He said that the firm had tendered for one or two jobs, so they could call round about Wednesday and perhaps he might then be able to give some of them another start. Barrington was not one of those who were “stood off”, although he had expected to be on account of the speech he had made at the Beano, and everyone said that he would have got the push sure enough if it had not been for the accident.
Misery arrived at the house around eleven o’clock and told several of the workers that since business was really slow, they would get their pay for a day they didn't work at pay time. He mentioned that the company had bid on a couple of jobs, so they could check back around Wednesday, and maybe he could then offer some of them another chance at work. Barrington wasn't one of those who were “laid off,” even though he thought he would be because of the speech he gave at the Beano, and everyone said he definitely would have been let go if it hadn't been for the accident.
Before he went away, Nimrod instructed Owen and Crass to go to the yard at once: they would there find Payne the carpenter, who was making Philpot’s coffin, which would be ready for Crass to varnish by the time they got there.
Before he left, Nimrod told Owen and Crass to head to the yard right away: they would find Payne the carpenter there, who was working on Philpot’s coffin, which would be ready for Crass to varnish by the time they arrived.
Misery told Owen that he had left the coffin plate and the instructions with Payne and added that he was not to take too much time over the writing, because it was a very cheap job.
Misery told Owen that he had left the coffin plate and the instructions with Payne and mentioned that he shouldn't spend too much time on the writing because it was a very low-budget job.
When they arrived at the yard, Payne was just finishing the coffin, which was of elm. All that remained to be done to it was the pitching of the joints inside and Payne was in the act of lifting the pot of boiling pitch off the fire to do this.
When they got to the yard, Payne was just wrapping up the coffin, which was made of elm. All that was left to do was to seal the joints inside, and Payne was in the process of lifting the pot of boiling pitch off the fire to do this.
As it was such a cheap job, there was no time to polish it properly, so Crass proceeded to give it a couple of coats of spirit varnish, and while he was doing this Owen wrote the plate, which was made of very thin zinc lacquered over to make it look like brass:
As it was such a cheap job, there was no time to finish it properly, so Crass went ahead and gave it a couple of coats of spirit varnish. While he was doing this, Owen wrote on the plate, which was made of very thin zinc coated to look like brass:
JOSEPH PHILPOT
Died
September 1st 19—
Aged 56 years.
The inquest was held on the following Monday morning, and as both Rushton and Hunter thought it possible that Barrington might attempt to impute some blame to them, they had worked the oracle and had contrived to have several friends of their own put on the jury. There was, however, no need for their alarm, because Barrington could not say that he had himself noticed, or called Hunter’s attention to the state of the rope; and he did not wish to mention the names of the others without their permission. The evidence of Crass and the other men who were called was to the effect that it was a pure accident. None of them had noticed that the rope was unsound. Hunter also swore that he did not know of it—none of the men had ever called his attention to it; if they had done so he would have procured a new one immediately.
The inquest took place the following Monday morning, and since both Rushton and Hunter thought Barrington might try to blame them, they had worked things out to ensure a few of their friends were on the jury. However, there was no reason for their concern because Barrington couldn’t say he had noticed or pointed out to Hunter that the rope was in bad shape; he also didn’t want to name the others without their consent. The testimonies from Crass and the other men called to testify indicated that it was just an accident. None of them had noticed that the rope was faulty. Hunter also testified that he wasn’t aware of it—none of the men had ever brought it to his attention; if they had, he would have replaced it immediately.
Philpot’s landlady and Mr Rushton were also called as witnesses, and the end was that the jury returned a verdict of accidental death, and added that they did not think any blame attached to anyone.
Philpot's landlady and Mr. Rushton were also called as witnesses, and in the end, the jury returned a verdict of accidental death, stating that they did not believe anyone was to blame.
The coroner discharged the jury, and as they and the witnesses passed out of the room, Hunter followed Rushton outside, with the hope of being honoured by a little conversation with him on the satisfactory issue of the case; but Rushton went off without taking any notice of him, so Hunter returned to the room where the court had been held to get the coroner’s certificate authorizing the interment of the body. This document is usually handed to the friends of the deceased or to the undertaker acting for them. When Hunter got back to the room he found that during his absence the coroner had given it to Philpot’s landlady, who had taken it with her. He accordingly hastened outside again to ask her for it, but the woman was nowhere to be seen.
The coroner dismissed the jury, and as they and the witnesses left the room, Hunter followed Rushton outside, hoping to have a brief conversation with him about the favorable outcome of the case. However, Rushton ignored him and walked away, so Hunter returned to the courtroom to collect the coroner’s certificate permitting the burial of the body. This document is typically given to the deceased’s friends or the undertaker acting on their behalf. When Hunter returned to the room, he discovered that during his absence, the coroner had given it to Philpot’s landlady, who had already left with it. He quickly went outside again to ask her for it, but the woman was nowhere to be found.
Crass and the other men were also gone; they had hurried off to return to work, and after a moment’s hesitation Hunter decided that it did not matter much about the certificate. Crass had arranged the business with the landlady and he could get the paper from her later on. Having come to this conclusion, he dismissed the subject from his mind: he had several prices to work out that afternoon—estimates from some jobs the firm was going to tender for.
Crass and the other guys were also gone; they rushed off to get back to work, and after a brief pause, Hunter figured the certificate wasn’t a big deal. Crass had already taken care of it with the landlady, and he could grab the paper from her later. With this settled, he pushed the thought aside: he had several prices to calculate that afternoon—quotes for some jobs the company was going to bid on.
That evening, after having been home to tea, Crass and Sawkins met by appointment at the carpenter’s shop to take the coffin to the mortuary, where Misery had arranged to meet them at half past eight o’clock. Hunter’s plan was to have the funeral take place from the mortuary, which was only about a quarter of an hour’s walk from the yard; so tonight they were just going to lift in the body and get the lid screwed down.
That evening, after having tea at home, Crass and Sawkins met as planned at the carpenter’s shop to take the coffin to the morgue, where Misery had arranged to meet them at 8:30 PM. Hunter’s plan was to have the funeral take place from the morgue, which was only about a fifteen-minute walk from the yard; so tonight they were just going to put in the body and get the lid screwed down.
It was blowing hard and raining heavily when Crass and Sawkins set out, carrying the coffin—covered with a black cloth—on their shoulders. They also took a small pair of tressels for the coffin to stand on. Crass carried one of these slung over his arm and Sawkins the other.
It was really windy and pouring rain when Crass and Sawkins headed out, carrying the coffin—wrapped in a black cloth—on their shoulders. They also brought a small pair of tressels for the coffin to rest on. Crass had one of these slung over his arm and Sawkins had the other.
On their way they had to pass the “Cricketers” and the place looked so inviting that they decided to stop and have a drink—just to keep the damp out, and as they could not very well take the coffin inside with them, they stood it up against the brick wall a little way from the side of the door: as Crass remarked with a laugh, there was not much danger of anyone pinching it. The Old Dear served them and just as they finished drinking the two half-pints there was a loud crash outside and Crass and Sawkins rushed out and found that the coffin had blown down and was lying bottom upwards across the pavement, while the black cloth that had been wrapped round it was out in the middle of the muddy road. Having recovered this, they shook as much of the dirt off as they could, and having wrapped it round the coffin again they resumed their journey to the mortuary, where they found Hunter waiting for them, engaged in earnest conversation with the keeper. The electric light was switched on, and as Crass and Sawkins came in they saw that the marble slab was empty.
On their way, they had to pass “Cricketers,” and the place looked so inviting that they decided to stop for a drink—just to keep warm. Since they couldn't really take the coffin inside with them, they leaned it against the brick wall a short distance from the door. As Crass joked, there wasn't much chance of anyone stealing it. The Old Dear served them, and just as they finished their two half-pints, there was a loud crash outside. Crass and Sawkins rushed out and found that the coffin had blown over and was lying upside down on the pavement, while the black cloth that had wrapped it was out in the muddy road. They retrieved it, shook off as much dirt as they could, wrapped it around the coffin again, and continued their journey to the mortuary, where they found Hunter waiting for them, deep in conversation with the keeper. The electric light was on, and as Crass and Sawkins entered, they noticed that the marble slab was empty.
The corpse was gone.
The body was gone.
“Snatchum came this afternoon with a hand-truck and a corfin,” explained the keeper. “I was out at the time, and the missis thought it was all right so she let him have the key.”
“Snatchum came this afternoon with a hand truck and a coffin,” explained the keeper. “I was out at the time, and my wife thought it was fine, so she gave him the key.”
Hunter and Crass looked blankly at each other.
Hunter and Crass stared at each other in confusion.
“Well, this takes the biskit!” said the latter as soon as he could speak.
“Well, this takes the cake!” said the latter as soon as he could speak.
“I thought you said you had settled everything all right with the old woman?” said Hunter.
“I thought you said you had everything sorted out with the old woman?” said Hunter.
“So I did,” replied Crass. “I seen ’er on Friday, and I told ’er to leave it all to me to attend to, and she said she would. I told ’er that Philpot said to me that if ever anything ’appened to ’im I was to take charge of everything for ’er, because I was ’is best friend. And I told ’er we’d do it as cheap as possible.”
“So I did,” replied Crass. “I saw her on Friday, and I told her to let me handle everything, and she agreed. I told her that Philpot mentioned to me that if anything ever happened to him, I was to take care of everything for her because I was his best friend. And I told her we’d do it as cheaply as possible.”
“Well, it seems to me as you’ve bungled it somehow,” said Nimrod, gloomily. “I ought to have gone and seen ’er myself, I was afraid you’d make a mess of it,” he added in a wailing tone. “It’s always the same; everything that I don’t attend to myself goes wrong.”
“Well, it looks like you've messed it up somehow,” said Nimrod, looking upset. “I should have gone to see her myself; I was worried you'd screw it up,” he added in a complaining tone. “It’s always the same; everything I don’t handle myself goes wrong.”
An uncomfortable silence fell. Crass thought that the principal piece of bungling in this affair was Hunter’s failure to secure possession of the Coroner’s certificate after the inquest, but he was afraid to say so.
An awkward silence settled in. Crass believed that the main mistake in this situation was Hunter not getting hold of the Coroner’s certificate after the inquest, but he was hesitant to speak up about it.
Outside, the rain was still falling and drove in through the partly open door, causing the atmosphere of the mortuary to be even more than usually cold and damp. The empty coffin had been reared against one of the walls and the marble slab was still stained with blood, for the keeper had not had time to clean it since the body had been removed.
Outside, the rain was still pouring in through the partly open door, making the atmosphere of the mortuary even colder and damper than usual. The empty coffin was propped against one of the walls, and the marble slab was still stained with blood because the caretaker hadn’t had time to clean it since the body was taken away.
“I can see ’ow it’s been worked,” said Crass at last. “There’s one of the members of the club who works for Snatchum, and ’e’s took it on ’isself to give the order for the funeral; but ’e’s got no right to do it.”
“I can see how it’s been arranged,” Crass finally said. “One of the club members works for Snatchum, and he’s taken it upon himself to give the order for the funeral; but he has no right to do that.”
“Right or no right, ’e’s done it,” replied Misery, “so you’d better take the box back to the shop.”
“Right or wrong, he did it,” replied Misery, “so you’d better take the box back to the store.”
Crass and Sawkins accordingly returned to the workshop, where they were presently joined by Nimrod.
Crass and Sawkins went back to the workshop, where they were soon joined by Nimrod.
“I’ve been thinking this business over as I came along,” he said, “and I don’t see being beat like this by Snatchum; so you two can just put the tressels and the box on a hand cart and we’ll take it over to Philpot’s house.”
“I’ve been thinking about this situation as I walked here,” he said, “and I can’t let Snatchum beat me like this; so you two can just put the supports and the box on a hand cart and we’ll take it over to Philpot’s house.”
Nimrod walked on the pavement while the other two pushed the cart, and it was about half past nine, when they arrived at the street in Windley where Philpot used to live. They halted in a dark part of the street a few yards away from the house and on the opposite side.
Nimrod walked on the sidewalk while the other two pushed the cart, and it was around 9:30 when they reached the street in Windley where Philpot used to live. They stopped in a dark area of the street a few yards away from the house and on the other side.
“I think the best thing we can do,” said Misery, “is for me and Sawkins to wait ’ere while you go to the ’ouse and see ’ow the land lies. You’ve done all the business with ’er so far. It’s no use takin’ the box unless we know the corpse is there; for all we know, Snatchum may ’ave taken it ’ome with ’im.”
“I think the best thing we can do,” said Misery, “is for me and Sawkins to wait here while you go to the house and see what’s going on. You’ve handled all the dealings with her so far. There’s no point in taking the box unless we know the body is there; for all we know, Snatchum might have taken it home with him.”
“Yes; I think that’ll be the best way,” agreed Crass, after a moment’s thought.
“Yeah; I think that’ll be the best way,” agreed Crass, after a moment of thought.
Nimrod and Sawkins accordingly took shelter in the doorway of an empty house, leaving the handcart at the kerb, while Crass went across the street and knocked at Philpot’s door. They saw it opened by an elderly woman holding a lighted candle in her hand; then Crass went inside and the door was shut. In about a quarter of an hour he reappeared and, leaving the door partly open behind him, he came out and crossed over to where the others were waiting. As he drew near they could see that he carried a piece of paper in his hand.
Nimrod and Sawkins found shelter in the doorway of an empty house, leaving the handcart by the curb, while Crass crossed the street and knocked on Philpot’s door. They watched as an elderly woman opened it, holding a lit candle; then Crass went inside, and the door closed. After about fifteen minutes, he came back out, leaving the door partially open behind him, and walked over to where the others were waiting. As he got closer, they noticed he was holding a piece of paper.
“It’s all right,” he said in a hoarse whisper as he came up. I’ve got the stifficut.”
“It’s okay,” he said in a raspy whisper as he came up. “I’ve got the stuff figured out.”
Misery took the paper eagerly and scanned it by the light of a match that Crass struck. It was the certificate right enough, and with a sigh of relief Hunter put it into his note-book and stowed it safely away in the inner pocket of his coat, while Crass explained the result of his errand.
Misery grabbed the paper eagerly and looked it over by the light of a match that Crass struck. It was indeed the certificate, and with a sigh of relief, Hunter placed it into his notebook and tucked it securely in the inner pocket of his coat, while Crass explained the outcome of his errand.
It appeared that the other member of the Society, accompanied by Snatchum, had called upon the old woman and had bluffed her into giving them the order for the funeral. It was they who had put her up to getting the certificate from the Coroner—they had been careful to keep away from the inquest themselves so as not to arouse Hunter’s or Crass’s suspicions.
It seemed that another member of the Society, along with Snatchum, had visited the old woman and had pressured her into giving them the funeral order. They were the ones who had encouraged her to obtain the certificate from the Coroner—they had made sure to stay away from the inquest themselves to avoid raising Hunter’s or Crass’s suspicions.
“When they brought the body ’ome this afternoon,” Crass went on, “Snatchum tried to get the stifficut orf ’er, but she’d been thinkin’ things over and she was a bit frightened ’cos she knowed she’d made arrangements with me, and she thought she’d better see me first; so she told ’im she’d give it to ’im on Thursday; that’s the day as ’e was goin’ to ’ave the funeral.”
“When they brought the body home this afternoon,” Crass continued, “Snatchum tried to take the stiff off her, but she’d been thinking things over and was a bit scared because she knew she had made plans with me, and she thought she should see me first; so she told him she’d give it to him on Thursday; that’s the day he was going to have the funeral.”
“He’ll find he’s a day too late,” said Misery, with a ghastly grin. “We’ll get the job done on Wednesday.”
“He’ll find he’s a day too late,” said Misery, with a sickly grin. “We’ll wrap things up on Wednesday.”
“She didn’t want to give it to me, at first,” Crass concluded, “but I told ’er we’d see ’er right if old Snatchum tried to make ’er pay for the other coffin.”
“She didn’t want to give it to me at first,” Crass said, “but I told her we’d take care of her if old Snatchum tried to make her pay for the other coffin.”
“I don’t think he’s likely to make much fuss about it,” said Hunter. “He won’t want everybody to know he was so anxious for the job.”
“I doubt he'll make a big deal out of it,” said Hunter. “He won’t want everyone to know he was so eager for the job.”
Crass and Sawkins pushed the handcart over to the other side of the road and then, lifting the coffin off, they carried it into the house, Nimrod going first.
Crass and Sawkins wheeled the handcart across the street, and then, lifting the coffin off, they brought it into the house, with Nimrod leading the way.
The old woman was waiting for them with the candle at the end of the passage.
The old woman was waiting for them with the candle at the end of the corridor.
“I shall be very glad when it’s all over,” she said, as she led the way up the narrow stairs, closely followed by Hunter, who carried the tressels, Crass and Sawkins, bringing up the rear with the coffin. “I shall be very glad when it’s all over, for I’m sick and tired of answerin’ the door to undertakers. If there’s been one ’ere since Friday there’s been a dozen, all after the job, not to mention all the cards what’s been put under the door, besides the one’s what I’ve had give to me by different people. I had a pair of boots bein’ mended and the man took the trouble to bring ’em ’ome when they was finished—a thing ’e’s never done before—just for an excuse to give me an undertaker’s card.
“I'll be really glad when it’s all over,” she said, as she led the way up the narrow stairs, closely followed by Hunter, who carried the trestles, with Crass and Sawkins bringing up the rear with the coffin. “I’ll be really glad when it’s all over because I’m sick and tired of answering the door to undertakers. If there’s been one here since Friday, there’s been a dozen, all after the job, not to mention all the cards that have been slipped under the door, besides the ones I’ve been given by different people. I had a pair of boots being mended, and the guy took the time to bring them home when they were done—a thing he’s never done before—just as an excuse to hand me an undertaker’s card.
“Then the milkman brought one, and so did the baker, and the greengrocer give me another when I went in there on Saturday to buy some vegetables for Sunday dinner.”
“Then the milkman delivered one, and so did the baker, and the greengrocer gave me another when I went in there on Saturday to buy some vegetables for Sunday dinner.”
Arrived at the top landing the old woman opened a door and entered a small and wretchedly furnished room.
Arriving at the top landing, the old woman opened a door and stepped into a small, poorly furnished room.
Across the lower sash of the window hung a tattered piece of lace curtain. The low ceiling was cracked and discoloured.
Across the bottom of the window hung a worn piece of lace curtain. The low ceiling was cracked and stained.
There was a rickety little wooden washstand, and along one side of the room a narrow bed covered with a ragged grey quilt, on which lay a bundle containing the clothes that the dead man was wearing at the time of the accident.
There was a shaky little wooden washstand, and along one side of the room was a narrow bed covered with a worn grey quilt, on which lay a bundle containing the clothes the dead man was wearing at the time of the accident.
There was a little table in front of the window, with a small looking-glass upon it, and a cane-seated chair was placed by the bedside and the floor was covered with a faded piece of drab-coloured carpet of no perceptible pattern, worn into holes in several places.
There was a small table in front of the window, with a little mirror on it, and a cane-seated chair was positioned by the bed, while the floor was covered with a worn-out, faded drab-colored carpet that had no noticeable pattern and had holes in several spots.
In the middle of this dreary room, upon a pair of tressels, was the coffin containing Philpot’s body. Seen by the dim and flickering light of the candle, the aspect of this coffin, covered over with a white sheet, was terrible in its silent, pathetic solitude.
In the center of this gloomy room, on a couple of trestle tables, was the coffin holding Philpot’s body. Under the dim and flickering light of the candle, the sight of this coffin, draped with a white sheet, was frightening in its quiet, sorrowful isolation.
Hunter placed the pair of tressels he had been carrying against the wall, and the other two put the empty coffin on the floor by the side of the bed. The old woman stood the candlestick on the mantelpiece, and withdrew, remarking that they would not need her assistance. The three men then removed their overcoats and laid them on the end of the bed, and from the pocket of his Crass took out two large screwdrivers, one of which he handed to Hunter. Sawkins held the candle while they unscrewed and took off the lid of the coffin they had brought with them: it was not quite empty, for they had brought a bag of tools inside it.
Hunter set the pair of trestles he had been carrying against the wall, while the other two placed the empty coffin on the floor next to the bed. The old woman set the candlestick on the mantelpiece and stepped back, saying they wouldn’t need her help. The three men then took off their overcoats and draped them over the end of the bed. From the pocket of his coat, one of them pulled out two large screwdrivers, handing one to Hunter. Sawkins held the candle as they unscrewed and removed the lid of the coffin they had brought with them: it wasn't completely empty, as they had stashed a bag of tools inside it.
“I think we shall be able to work better if we takes the other one orf the trussels and puts it on the floor,” remarked Crass.
“I think we’ll be able to work better if we take the other one off the trestles and put it on the floor,” said Crass.
“Yes, I think so, too,” replied Hunter.
“Yes, I think so too,” replied Hunter.
Crass took off the sheet and threw it on the bed, revealing the other coffin, which was very similar in appearance to the one they had brought with them, being of elms, with the usual imitation brass furniture. Hunter took hold of the head and Crass the foot and they lifted it off the tressels on to the floor.
Crass pulled off the sheet and tossed it onto the bed, uncovering the other coffin, which looked a lot like the one they had brought with them, made of elm and featuring the typical fake brass fittings. Hunter grabbed the head while Crass took hold of the foot, and together they lifted it off the trestles and onto the floor.
“’E’s not very ’eavy; that’s one good thing,” observed Hunter.
“He's not very heavy; that’s one good thing,” noted Hunter.
“’E always was a very thin chap,” replied Crass.
“He always was a very skinny guy,” replied Crass.
The screws that held down the lid had been covered over with large-headed brass nails which had to be wrenched off before they could get at the screws, of which there were eight altogether. It was evident from the appearance of the beads of these screws that they were old ones that had been used for some purpose before: they were rusty and of different sizes, some being rather larger or smaller, than they should have been. They were screwed in so firmly that by the time they had drawn half of them out the two men were streaming with perspiration. After a while Hunter took the candle from Sawkins and the latter had a try at the screws.
The screws fastening the lid had been concealed by large-headed brass nails that needed to be pried off before they could access the screws, which numbered eight in total. It was clear from the condition of the screw heads that they were previously used for something else: they were rusty and varied in size, some being noticeably larger or smaller than they should have been. They were screwed in so tightly that by the time they managed to remove half of them, both men were sweating profusely. After a while, Hunter took the candle from Sawkins, and the latter had a go at the screws.
“Anyone would think the dam’ things had been there for a ’undred years,” remarked Hunter, savagely, as he wiped the sweat from his face and neck with his handkerchief.
“Anyone would think those damn things had been there for a hundred years,” Hunter said angrily, wiping the sweat from his face and neck with his handkerchief.
Kneeling on the lid of the coffin and panting and grunting with the exertion, the other two continued to struggle with their task. Suddenly Crass uttered an obscene curse; he had broken off one side of the head of the screw he was trying to turn and almost at the same instant a similar misfortune happened to Sawkins.
Kneeling on the lid of the coffin and breathing heavily with effort, the other two kept struggling with their task. Suddenly, Crass shouted a foul curse; he had snapped off one side of the screw he was trying to turn and just moments later, a similar disaster happened to Sawkins.
After this, Hunter again took a screwdriver himself, and when they got all the screws out with the exception of the two broken ones, Crass took a hammer and chisel out of the bag and proceeded to cut off what was left of the tops of the two that remained. But even after this was done the two screws still held the lid on the coffin, and so they had to hammer the end of the blade of the chisel underneath and lever the lid up so that they could get hold of it with their fingers. It split up one side as they tore it off, exposing the dead man to view.
After this, Hunter grabbed a screwdriver again, and once they got all the screws out except for the two broken ones, Crass took a hammer and chisel from the bag and started to cut off what was left of the tops of the two that remained. But even after that, the two screws still held the coffin lid in place, so they had to hammer the end of the chisel blade underneath and pry the lid up so they could grab it with their fingers. It split up one side as they pulled it off, exposing the dead man inside.
Although the marks of the cuts and bruises were still visible on Philpot’s face, they were softened down by the pallor of death, and a placid, peaceful expression pervaded his features. His hands were crossed upon his breast, and as he lay there in the snow-white grave clothes, almost covered in by the white lace frill that bordered the sides of the coffin, he looked like one in a profound and tranquil sleep.
Although the scars from the cuts and bruises were still noticeable on Philpot's face, they were softened by the pale look of death, and a calm, peaceful expression filled his features. His hands were crossed over his chest, and as he lay there in the bright white burial clothes, nearly concealed by the white lace trim along the sides of the coffin, he appeared as if he were in a deep and serene sleep.
They laid the broken lid on the bed, and placed the two coffins side by side on the floor as close together as possible. Sawkins stood at one side holding the candle in his left hand and ready to render with his right any assistance that might unexpectedly prove to be necessary. Crass, standing at the foot, took hold of the body by the ankles, while Hunter at the other end seized it by the shoulders with his huge, clawlike hands, which resembled the talons of some obscene bird of prey, and they dragged it out and placed it in the other coffin.
They laid the broken lid on the bed and set the two coffins side by side on the floor as close together as they could get them. Sawkins stood to one side, holding the candle in his left hand and ready to help with his right if anything unexpected came up. Crass, standing at the foot, grabbed the body by the ankles, while Hunter at the other end took hold of it by the shoulders with his huge, claw-like hands that looked like the talons of some disgusting bird of prey, and they dragged it out and put it in the other coffin.
Whilst Hunter—hovering ghoulishly over the corpse—arranged the grave clothes and the frilling, Crass laid the broken cover on the top of the other coffin and pushed it under the bed out of the way. Then he selected the necessary screws and nails from the bag, and Hunter having by this time finished, they proceeded to screw down the lid. Then they lifted the coffin on to the tressels, covering it over with the sheet, and the appearance it then presented was so exactly similar to what they had seen when they first entered the room, that it caused the same thought to occur to all of them: Suppose Snatchum took it into his head to come there and take the body out again? If he were to do so and take it up to the cemetery they might be compelled to give up the certificate to him and then all their trouble would be lost.
While Hunter hovered ominously over the corpse, arranging the burial clothes and the trim, Crass placed the broken lid on top of the other coffin and pushed it under the bed to clear the space. Then he picked out the needed screws and nails from the bag, and once Hunter was done, they both started to screw down the lid. After that, they lifted the coffin onto the trestles, covering it with a sheet. The sight it presented was so strikingly similar to what they had seen when they first entered the room that it sparked the same concern in all of them: What if Snatchum decided to come back and take the body out again? If he did that and took it to the cemetery, they might have to hand over the certificate to him, and all their efforts would be wasted.
After a brief consultation, they resolved that it would be safer to take the corpse on the handcart to the yard and keep it in the carpenter’s shop until the funeral, which could take place from there. Crass and Sawkins accordingly lifted the coffin off the tressels, and—while Hunter held the light—proceeded to carry it downstairs, a task of considerable difficulty owing to the narrowness of the staircase and the landing. However, they got it down at last and, having put it on the handcart, covered it over with the black wrapper. It was still raining and the lamp in the cart was nearly out, so Sawkins trimmed the wick and relit it before they started.
After a quick discussion, they decided it would be safer to transport the body on the handcart to the yard and store it in the carpenter’s shop until the funeral, which could happen from there. Crass and Sawkins lifted the coffin off the supports, and—while Hunter held the light—they began to carry it downstairs, which was quite difficult because of the narrow staircase and landing. Eventually, they got it down and placed it on the handcart, covering it with the black cloth. It was still raining, and the lamp on the cart was almost out, so Sawkins trimmed the wick and relit it before they set off.
Hunter wished them “Good-night” at the corner of the street, because it was not necessary for him to accompany them to the yard—they would be able to manage all that remained to be done by themselves. He said he would make the arrangements for the funeral as soon as he possibly could the next morning, and he would come to the job and let them know, as soon as he knew himself, at what time they would have to be in attendance to act as bearers. He had gone a little distance on his way when he stopped and turned back to them.
Hunter wished them “Good night” at the corner of the street because he didn’t need to walk them to the yard—they could handle the rest on their own. He said he would make the funeral arrangements as soon as he could the next morning and would come by to let them know when they needed to be there to serve as bearers. He walked a short distance before stopping and turning back to them.
“It’s not necessary for either of you to make a song about this business, you know,” he said.
“It’s not necessary for either of you to make a song about this situation, you know,” he said.
The two men said that they quite understood that: he could depend on their keeping their mouths shut.
The two men said they completely understood that he could count on them to keep quiet.
When Hunter had gone, Crass drew out his watch. It was a quarter to eleven. A little way down the road the lights of a public house were gleaming through the mist.
When Hunter left, Crass pulled out his watch. It was a quarter to eleven. A bit down the road, the lights of a pub were shining through the fog.
“We shall be just in time to get a drink before closing time if we buck up,” he said. And with this object they hurried on as fast as they could.
“We'll make it just in time for a drink before closing if we hurry,” he said. And with that goal in mind, they rushed as quickly as they could.
When they reached the tavern they left the cart standing by the kerb, and went inside, where Crass ordered two pints of four-ale, which he permitted Sawkins to pay for.
When they got to the tavern, they parked the cart by the curb and went inside, where Crass ordered two pints of four-ale and let Sawkins cover the cost.
“How are we going on about this job?” inquired the latter after they had each taken a long drink, for they were thirsty after their exertions. ‘I reckon we ought to ’ave more than a bob for it, don’t you? It’s not like a ordinary ‘lift in’.”
“How are we handling this job?” the latter asked after they had both taken a long drink, as they were thirsty from their efforts. “I think we should get more than a pound for it, don’t you? It’s not just a regular ‘lift-in.’”
“Of course it ain’t,” replied Crass. “We ought to ’ave about, say”—reflecting—“say arf a dollar each at the very least.”
“Of course it isn’t,” Crass replied. “We should have about, let’s say”—thinking for a moment—“maybe half a dollar each at the very least.”
“Little enough too,” said Sawkins. “I was going to say arf a crown, myself.”
“Not much at all,” said Sawkins. “I was going to say half a crown, myself.”
Crass agreed that even half a crown would not be too much.
Crass agreed that even two shillings and six pence wouldn't be too much.
“’Ow are we goin’ on about chargin’ it on our time sheets?” asked Sawkins, after a pause. “If we just put a ‘lift in’, they might only pay us a bob as usual.”
“Hey, how are we supposed to charge this on our time sheets?” asked Sawkins, after a pause. “If we just say we did a ‘lift’, they might only pay us a quid like usual.”
As a rule when they had taken a coffin home, they wrote on their time sheets, “One lift in”, for which they were usually paid one shilling, unless it happened to be a very high-class funeral, when they sometimes got one and sixpence. They were never paid by the hour for these jobs.
As a rule, when they brought a coffin home, they wrote on their timesheets, "One lift in," for which they usually got paid one shilling, unless it was a really fancy funeral, in which case they sometimes received one and sixpence. They were never paid by the hour for these jobs.
Crass smoked reflectively.
Crass smoked thoughtfully.
“I think the best way will be to put it like this,” he said at length. “‘Philpot’s funeral. One lift out and one lift in. Also takin’ corpse to carpenter’s shop.’ ’Ow would that do?”
“I think the best way to put it is like this,” he said after a moment. “’Philpot’s funeral. One lift out and one lift in. Also taking the body to the carpenter’s shop.’ How does that sound?”
Sawkins said that would be a very good way to put it, and they finished their beer just as the landlord intimated that it was closing time. The cart was standing where they left it, the black cloth saturated with the rain, which dripped mournfully from its sable folds.
Sawkins said that was a great way to put it, and they finished their beer just as the landlord hinted that it was closing time. The cart was where they had left it, the black cloth soaked with rain, which dripped sadly from its dark folds.
When they reached the plot of waste ground over which they had to pass in order to reach the gates of the yard, they had to proceed very cautiously, for it was very dark, and the lantern did not give much light. A number of carts and lorries were standing there, and the path wound through pools of water and heaps of refuse. After much difficulty and jolting, they reached the gate, which Crass unlocked with the key he had obtained from the office earlier in the evening. They soon opened the door of the carpenter’s shop and, after lighting the gas, they arranged the tressels and then brought in the coffin and placed it upon them. Then they locked the door and placed the key in its usual hiding-place, but the key of the outer gate they took with them and dropped into the letter-box at the office, which they had to pass on their way home.
When they got to the empty lot they needed to cross to reach the yard gates, they had to be really careful because it was very dark, and the lantern didn't provide much light. There were several carts and trucks parked there, and the path twisted through puddles and piles of garbage. After a lot of struggle and bouncing around, they finally arrived at the gate, which Crass unlocked with the key he had picked up from the office earlier in the evening. They quickly opened the carpenter’s shop door, lit the gas, set up the trestles, and then brought in the coffin and placed it on top of them. After that, they locked the door and put the key in its usual hiding spot, but they took the key for the outer gate with them and dropped it into the letterbox at the office, which they passed on their way home.
As they turned away from the door, they were suddenly confronted by a policeman who flashed his lantern in their faces and demanded to know why they had tried the lock...
As they stepped away from the door, they were suddenly confronted by a police officer who shone his flashlight in their faces and asked why they had tried to unlock it...
The next morning was a very busy one for Hunter, who had to see several new jobs commenced. They were all small affairs. Most of them would only take two or three days from start to finish.
The next morning was quite busy for Hunter, who had to oversee several new jobs starting up. They were all minor projects. Most of them would only take two or three days to complete from beginning to end.
Attending to this work occupied most of his morning, but all the same he managed to do the necessary business connected with the funeral, which he arranged to take place at two o’clock on Wednesday afternoon from the mortuary, where the coffin had been removed during the day, Hunter deciding that it would not look well to have the funeral start from the workshop.
Taking care of this task took up most of his morning, but he still managed to handle the necessary arrangements for the funeral, which he scheduled for two o’clock on Wednesday afternoon at the mortuary, where the coffin had been moved during the day. Hunter thought it wouldn’t look right to hold the funeral from the workshop.
Although Hunter had kept it as quiet as possible, there was a small crowd, including several old workmates of Philpot’s who happened to be out of work, waiting outside the mortuary to see the funeral start, and amongst them were Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk, who were both sober. Barrington and Owen were also there, having left work for the day in order to go to the funeral. They were there too in a sense as the representatives of the other workmen, for Barrington carried a large wreath which had been subscribed for voluntarily by Rushton’s men. They could not all afford to lose the time to attend the funeral, although most of them would have liked to pay that tribute of regard to their old mate, so they had done this as the next best thing. Attached to the wreath was a strip of white satin ribbon, upon which Owen had painted a suitable inscription.
Although Hunter had tried to keep it as low-key as possible, there was a small crowd waiting outside the mortuary to see the funeral begin, including several of Philpot’s old colleagues who were currently out of work. Among them were Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk, both of whom were sober. Barrington and Owen were also there, having taken the day off to attend the funeral. In a way, they represented the other workers, as Barrington carried a large wreath collected voluntarily from Rushton’s team. Not everyone could afford to take time off to attend the funeral, but most would have liked to show their respect for their old friend, so they contributed in this way. Attached to the wreath was a piece of white satin ribbon, where Owen had painted an appropriate message.
Promptly at two o’clock the hearse and the mourning coach drove up with Hunter and the four bearers—Crass, Slyme, Payne and Sawkins, all dressed in black with frock coats and silk hats. Although they were nominally attired in the same way, there was a remarkable dissimilarity in their appearance. Crass’s coat was of smooth, intensely black cloth, having been recently dyed, and his hat was rather low in the crown, being of that shape that curved outwards towards the top. Hunter’s coat was a kind of serge with a rather rusty cast of colour and his hat was very tall and straight, slightly narrower at the crown than at the brim. As for the others, each of them had a hat of a different fashion and date, and their “black” clothes ranged from rusty brown to dark blue.
Promptly at two o’clock, the hearse and the mourning coach pulled up with Hunter and the four pallbearers—Crass, Slyme, Payne, and Sawkins—all dressed in black with frock coats and silk hats. Even though they were all wearing similar outfits, there was a striking difference in their appearance. Crass’s coat was made of smooth, deep black fabric, freshly dyed, and his hat had a low crown that curved outward at the top. Hunter’s coat was some kind of serge in a rather dull color, and his hat was tall and straight, a bit narrower at the top than at the brim. As for the others, each had a hat of a different style and era, and their “black” clothes ranged from rusty brown to dark blue.
These differences were due to the fact that most of the garments had been purchased at different times from different second-hand clothes shops, and never being used except on such occasions as the present, they lasted for an indefinite time.
These differences were because most of the clothes had been bought at different times from various thrift shops, and since they were only worn on occasions like this one, they lasted for an unknown amount of time.
When the coffin was brought out and placed in the hearse, Hunter laid upon it the wreath that Barrington gave him, together with another he had brought himself, which had a similar ribbon with the words: “From Rushton & Co. With deep sympathy.”
When the coffin was taken out and put in the hearse, Hunter laid the wreath that Barrington gave him on top of it, along with another one he had brought himself, which had a similar ribbon that read: “From Rushton & Co. With deep sympathy.”
Seeing that Barrington and Owen were the only occupants of the carriage, Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk came up to the door and asked if there was any objection to their coming and as neither Owen nor Barrington objected, they did not think it necessary to ask anyone else’s permission, so they got in.
Seeing that Barrington and Owen were the only ones in the carriage, Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk approached the door and asked if it was okay for them to join. Since neither Owen nor Barrington had any objections, they figured it wasn’t necessary to ask anyone else’s permission, so they climbed in.
Meanwhile, Hunter had taken his position a few yards in front of the hearse and the bearers each his proper position, two on each side. As the procession turned into the main road, they saw Snatchum standing at the corner looking very gloomy. Hunter kept his eyes fixed straight ahead and affected not to see him, but Crass could not resist the temptation to indulge in a jeering smile, which so enraged Snatchum that he shouted out:
Meanwhile, Hunter stood a few yards in front of the hearse, and the bearers took their places, two on each side. As the procession entered the main road, they noticed Snatchum at the corner, looking very miserable. Hunter kept his gaze straight ahead, pretending not to notice him, but Crass couldn't help but smirk, which made Snatchum so furious that he shouted out:
“It don’t matter! I shan’t lose much! I can use it for someone else!”
“It doesn’t matter! I won’t lose much! I can use it for someone else!”
The distance to the cemetery was about three miles, so as soon as they got out of the busy streets of the town, Hunter called a halt, and got up on the hearse beside the driver, Crass sat on the other side, and two of the other bearers stood in the space behind the driver’s seat, the fourth getting up beside the driver of the coach; and then they proceeded at a rapid pace.
The cemetery was about three miles away, so once they left the busy streets of town, Hunter called for a stop and climbed up onto the hearse next to the driver. Crass sat on the other side, while two of the other bearers stood in the space behind the driver's seat, with the fourth joining the coach driver. They then moved forward at a fast pace.
As they drew near to the cemetery they slowed down, and finally stopped when about fifty yards from the gate. Then Hunter and the bearers resumed their former position, and they passed through the open gate and up to the door of the church, where they were received by the clerk—a man in a rusty black cassock, who stood by while they carried the coffin in and placed it on a kind of elevated table which revolved on a pivot. They brought it in footfirst, and as soon as they had placed it upon the table, the clerk swung it round so as to bring the foot of the coffin towards the door ready to be carried out again.
As they got closer to the cemetery, they slowed down and finally stopped about fifty yards from the gate. Then Hunter and the bearers took their previous positions again, and they walked through the open gate and up to the church door, where they were greeted by the clerk—a man in a worn black robe, who stood by while they brought the coffin inside and set it on an elevated table that spun on a pivot. They brought it in footfirst, and as soon as they placed it on the table, the clerk turned it to face the door, ready to carry it out again.
There was a special pew set apart for the undertakers, and in this Hunter and the bearers took their seats to await the arrival of the clergyman. Barrington and the three others sat on the opposite side. There was no altar or pulpit in this church, but a kind of reading desk stood on a slightly raised platform at the other end of the aisle.
There was a special pew reserved for the undertakers, and here Hunter and the bearers took their seats to wait for the clergyman to arrive. Barrington and the three others sat on the opposite side. There was no altar or pulpit in this church, but there was a sort of reading desk on a slightly raised platform at the other end of the aisle.
After a wait of about ten minutes, the clergyman entered and, at once proceeding to the desk, began to recite in a rapid and wholly unintelligible manner the usual office. If it had not been for the fact that each of his hearers had a copy of the words—for there was a little book in each pew—none of them would have been able to gather the sense of what the man was gabbling. Under any other circumstances, the spectacle of a human being mouthing in this absurd way would have compelled laughter, and so would the suggestion that this individual really believed that he was addressing the Supreme Being. His attitude and manner were contemptuously indifferent. While he recited, intoned, or gabbled, the words of the office, he was reading the certificate and some other paper the clerk had placed upon the desk, and when he had finished reading these, his gaze wandered abstractedly round the chapel, resting for a long time with an expression of curiosity upon Bill Bates and the Semi-drunk, who were doing their best to follow in their books the words he was repeating. He next turned his attention to his fingers, holding his hand away from him nearly at arm’s length and critically examining the nails.
After waiting about ten minutes, the clergyman walked in and immediately went to the desk, beginning to recite the usual service in a fast and completely unclear way. If each person hadn’t had a copy of the words—since there was a little book in each pew—none of them would have been able to make sense of what he was mumbling. Under different circumstances, watching someone speak in such a ridiculous manner would have made people laugh, just as it would have been funny to think that he genuinely believed he was talking to the Supreme Being. His attitude and demeanor were dismissively indifferent. While he recited, intoned, or mumbled the office words, he was also reading a certificate and some other papers the clerk had left on the desk, and when he finished, he looked around the chapel absentmindedly, lingering with curiosity on Bill Bates and the semi-drunk, who were trying to follow along in their books. He then focused on his own fingers, holding his hand out nearly at arm’s length and critically inspecting his nails.
From time to time as this miserable mockery proceeded the clerk in the rusty black cassock mechanically droned out a sonorous “Ah-men”, and after the conclusion of the lesson the clergyman went out of the church, taking a short cut through the grave-stones and monuments, while the bearers again shouldered the coffin and followed the clerk to the grave. When they arrived within a few yards of their destination, they were rejoined by the clergyman, who was waiting for them at the corner of one of the paths. He put himself at the head of the procession with an open book in his hand, and as they walked slowly along, he resumed his reading or repetition of the words of the service.
From time to time, as this miserable charade continued, the clerk in the shabby black robe mechanically droned out a loud “Amen,” and after the lesson was over, the clergyman left the church, taking a shortcut through the gravestones and monuments, while the bearers lifted the coffin again and followed the clerk to the grave. When they got within a few yards of their destination, they were met by the clergyman, who was waiting for them at the corner of one of the paths. He took the lead of the procession with a book open in his hand, and as they walked slowly along, he resumed reading or reciting the words of the service.
He had on an old black cassock and a much soiled and slightly torn surplice. The unseemly appearance of this dirty garment was heightened by the circumstance that he had not taken the trouble to adjust it properly. It hung all lop-sided, showing about six inches more of the black cassock underneath one side than the other. However, perhaps it is not right to criticize this person’s appearance so severely, because the poor fellow was paid only seven-and-six for each burial, and as this was only the fourth funeral he had officiated at that day, probably he could not afford to wear clean linen—at any rate, not for the funerals of the lower classes.
He wore an old black cassock and a really dirty, slightly torn surplice. The messy look of this stained garment was made worse by the fact that he hadn’t bothered to put it on correctly. It hung all crooked, showing about six inches more of the black cassock on one side than the other. However, it might not be fair to judge this person's appearance too harshly, since the poor guy only made seven-and-six for each burial, and since this was only the fourth funeral he had officiated that day, he probably couldn’t afford to wear clean clothes—at least not for the funerals of the lower classes.
He continued his unintelligible jargon while they were lowering the coffin into the grave, and those who happened to know the words of the office by heart were, with some difficulty, able to understand what he was saying:
He kept going with his confusing speech while they were lowering the coffin into the grave, and those who happened to know the words of the service by heart could, with some effort, understand what he was saying:
“Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of His great mercy to take unto Himself the soul of our Dear Brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth; ashes to ashes, dust to dust—”
“For as much as it has pleased Almighty God, in His great mercy, to take the soul of our dear brother who has passed away, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth; ashes to ashes, dust to dust—”
The earth fell from the clerk’s hand and rattled on the lid of the coffin with a mournful sound, and when the clergyman had finished repeating the remainder of the service, he turned and walked away in the direction of the church. Hunter and the rest of the funeral party made their way back towards the gate of the cemetery where the hearse and the carriage were waiting.
The dirt slipped from the clerk’s hand and clinked against the coffin lid with a sad sound. After the clergyman finished the rest of the service, he turned and walked toward the church. Hunter and the rest of the funeral group headed back to the cemetery gate where the hearse and carriage were waiting.
On their way they saw another funeral procession coming towards them. It was a very plain-looking closed hearse with only one horse. There was no undertaker in front and no bearers walked by the sides.
On their way, they saw another funeral procession approaching them. It was a simple closed hearse pulled by just one horse. There was no undertaker in front, and no pallbearers walked alongside.
It was a pauper’s funeral.
It was a poor person's funeral.
Three men, evidently dressed in their Sunday clothes, followed behind the hearse. As they reached the church door, four old men who were dressed in ordinary everyday clothes, came forward and opening the hearse took out the coffin and carried it into the church, followed by the other three, who were evidently relatives of the deceased. The four old men were paupers—inmates of the workhouse, who were paid sixpence each for acting as bearers.
Three men, clearly in their Sunday best, walked behind the hearse. When they got to the church door, four old men in regular clothes stepped forward, opened the hearse, took out the coffin, and carried it into the church, followed by the other three, who were obviously relatives of the deceased. The four old men were poor—residents of the workhouse—who were paid sixpence each to serve as bearers.
They were just taking out the coffin from the hearse as Hunter’s party was passing, and most of the latter paused for a moment and watched them carry it into the church. The roughly made coffin was of white deal, not painted or covered in any way, and devoid of any fittings or ornament with the exception of a square piece of zinc on the lid. None of Rushton’s party was near enough to recognize any of the mourners or to read what was written on the zinc, but if they had been they would have seen, roughly painted in black letters
They were just pulling the coffin out of the hearse as Hunter’s group walked by, and most of them stopped for a moment to watch as it was carried into the church. The coffin was roughly made of white wood, not painted or covered, and it had no hardware or decorations except for a square piece of zinc on the lid. None of Rushton’s group was close enough to recognize any of the mourners or to see what was written on the zinc, but if they had been, they would have noticed that it was scrawled in black letters.
J.L.
Aged 67
and some of them would have recognized the three mourners who were Jack Linden’s sons.
and some of them would have recognized the three mourners who were Jack Linden’s sons.
As for the bearers, they were all retired working men who had come into their “titles”. One of them was old Latham, the venetian blind maker.
As for the bearers, they were all retired working men who had inherited their “titles.” One of them was old Latham, the Venetian blind maker.
Chapter 48
The Wise men of the East
At the end of the following week there was a terrible slaughter at Rushton’s. Barrington and all the casual hands were sacked, including Newman, Easton and Harlow, and there was so little work that it looked as if everyone else would have to stand off also. The summer was practically over, so those who were stood off had but a poor chance of getting a start anywhere else, because most other firms were discharging hands as well.
At the end of the following week, there was a devastating layoff at Rushton’s. Barrington and all the temporary workers were let go, including Newman, Easton, and Harlow, and there was so little work that it seemed like everyone else would also be out of a job. Summer was almost over, so those who were let go had very little chance of finding work elsewhere, since most other companies were also laying off staff.
There was only one other shop in the town that was doing anything at all to speak of, and that was the firm of Dauber and Botchit. This firm had come very much to the front during the summer, and had captured several big jobs that Rushton & Co. had expected to get, besides taking away several of the latter’s old customers.
There was only one other shop in town that was doing anything noteworthy, and that was Dauber and Botchit. This firm had really stepped up over the summer, landing several big projects that Rushton & Co. had been counting on, and they also stole some of Rushton & Co.'s long-time customers.
This firm took work at almost half the price that Rushton’s could do it for, and they had a foreman whose little finger was thicker than Nimrod’s thigh. Some of the men who had worked for both firms during the summer, said that after working for Dauber and Botchit, working for Rushton seemed like having a holiday.
This company charged about half of what Rushton’s would for the same work, and they had a foreman whose pinky was thicker than Nimrod’s thigh. Some of the guys who had worked for both companies over the summer said that after working for Dauber and Botchit, working for Rushton felt like a vacation.
“There’s one bloke there,” said Newman, in conversation with Harlow and Easton. “There’s one bloke there wot puts up twenty-five rolls o’ paper in a day an’ trims and pastes for ’imself; and as for the painters, nearly everyone of ’em gets over as much work as us three put together, and if you’re working there you’ve got to do the same or get the sack.”
“There’s one guy there,” said Newman, chatting with Harlow and Easton. “There’s one guy there who puts up twenty-five rolls of paper in a day and trims and pastes for himself; and as for the painters, nearly every single one of them does as much work as the three of us combined, and if you’re working there, you’ve got to do the same or get fired.”
However much truth or falsehood or exaggeration there may have been in the stories of the sweating and driving that prevailed at Dauber and Botchit’s, it was an indisputable fact that the other builders found it very difficult to compete with them, and between the lot of them what work there was to do was all finished or messed up in about a quarter of the time that it would have taken to do it properly.
However much truth, falsehood, or exaggeration there was in the stories of the sweating and driving that went on at Dauber and Botchit’s, it was a clear fact that the other builders found it really tough to compete with them. Together, they managed to finish or screw up all the work in about a quarter of the time it would have taken to do it right.
By the end of September there were great numbers of men out of employment, and the practical persons who controlled the town were already preparing to enact the usual farce of “Dealing” with the distress that was certain to ensue. The Rev. Mr Bosher talked of reopening the Labour Yard; the secretary of the OBS appealed for more money and cast-off clothing and boots—the funds of the Society had been depleted by the payment of his quarter’s salary. There were rumours that the Soup Kitchen would be reopened at an early date for the sale of “nourishment”, and charitable persons began to talk of Rummage Sales and soup tickets.
By the end of September, there were a lot of unemployed people, and the practical leaders of the town were already getting ready to put on the usual show of “dealing” with the inevitable hardship. Rev. Mr. Bosher mentioned reopening the Labour Yard; the secretary of the OBS asked for more donations of money, used clothing, and boots—his salary for the quarter had drained the Society’s funds. There were rumors that the Soup Kitchen would be reopening soon to sell “nourishment,” and generous folks started discussing Rummage Sales and soup tickets.
Now and then, whenever a “job” “came in”, a few of Rushton’s men were able to put in a few hours’ work, but Barrington never went back. His manner of life was the subject of much speculation on the part of his former workmates, who were not a little puzzled by the fact that he was much better dressed than they had ever known him to be before, and that he was never without money. He generally had a tanner or a bob to lend, and was always ready to stand a drink, to say nothing of what it must have cost him for the quantities of Socialist pamphlets and leaflets that he gave away broadcast. He lodged over at Windley, but he used to take his meals at a little coffee tavern down town, where he used often to invite one or two of his old mates to take dinner with him. It sometimes happened that one of them would invite him home of an evening, to drink a cup of tea, or to see some curiosity that the other thought would interest him, and on these occasions—if there were any children in the house to which they were going—Barrington usually made a point of going into a shop on their way, and buying a bag of cakes or fruit for them.
Now and then, whenever a “job” “came in,” a few of Rushton’s men managed to put in some hours of work, but Barrington never returned. His lifestyle became a topic of much speculation among his former coworkers, who were quite puzzled by the fact that he was dressed better than they’d ever seen him before and that he always had money. He usually had a few bucks to lend and was always ready to buy a round, not to mention what it must have cost him for all the Socialist pamphlets and leaflets he handed out. He lived in Windley but would have his meals at a little coffee shop downtown, where he often invited one or two of his old pals to join him for dinner. Sometimes, one of them would invite him over in the evening for a cup of tea or to see something interesting that they thought he would like, and on those occasions—if there were kids in the house they were visiting—Barrington usually made it a point to stop at a shop on the way and buy a bag of cakes or fruit for them.
All sorts of theories were put forward to account for his apparent affluence. Some said he was a toff in disguise; others that he had rich relations who were ashamed of him because he was a Socialist, and who allowed him so much a week so long as he kept away from them and did not use his real name. Some of the Liberals said that he was in the pay of the Tories, who were seeking by underhand methods to split up the Progressive Liberal Party. Just about that time several burglaries took place in the town, the thieves getting clear away with the plunder, and this circumstance led to a dark rumour that Barrington was the culprit, and that it was these ill-gotten gains that he was spending so freely.
All kinds of theories were proposed to explain his apparent wealth. Some claimed he was a rich person pretending to be someone else; others suggested he had wealthy relatives who were embarrassed by him because he was a Socialist, and who gave him a weekly allowance as long as he stayed away from them and didn’t use his real name. Some Liberals argued that he was being funded by the Conservatives, who were trying to secretly divide the Progressive Liberal Party. Around that time, there were several burglaries in town, with the thieves escaping with the stolen goods, and this led to a troubling rumor that Barrington was the one behind it, and that it was this ill-gotten money he was spending so liberally.
About the middle of October an event happened that drew the town into a state of wild excitement, and such comparatively unimportant subjects as unemployment and starvation were almost forgotten.
About the middle of October, an event occurred that sent the town into a frenzy of excitement, and issues like unemployment and starvation were nearly forgotten.
Sir Graball D’Encloseland had been promoted to yet a higher post in the service of the country that he owned such a large part of; he was not only to have a higher and more honourable position, but also—as was nothing but right—a higher salary. His pay was to be increased to seven thousand five hundred a year or one hundred and fifty pounds per week, and in consequence of this promotion it was necessary for him to resign his seat and seek re-election.
Sir Graball D’Encloseland had been promoted to an even higher position in the service of the country he owned such a large part of; he was not only going to have a more prestigious role but also—as was only fair—a higher salary. His pay would be raised to seven thousand five hundred a year or one hundred and fifty pounds per week, and because of this promotion, he had to resign his seat and run for re-election.
The ragged-trousered Tory workmen as they loitered about the streets, their stomachs empty, said to each other that it was a great honour for Mugsborough that their Member should be promoted in this way. They boasted about it and assumed as much swagger in their gait as their broken boots permitted.
The shabby-dressed Tory workers hanging around the streets, their stomachs empty, told each other that it was a huge honor for Mugsborough that their Member was being promoted like this. They bragged about it and walked with as much swagger as their worn-out boots would allow.
They stuck election cards bearing Sir Graball’s photograph in their windows and tied bits of blue and yellow ribbon—Sir Graball’s colours—on their underfed children.
They put election cards with Sir Graball’s photo in their windows and tied pieces of blue and yellow ribbon—Sir Graball’s colors—on their undernourished kids.
The Liberals were furious. They said that an election had been sprung on them—they had been taken a mean advantage of—they had no candidate ready.
The Liberals were livid. They claimed that an election had been forced on them—they had been unfairly taken advantage of—they had no candidate prepared.
They had no complaint to make about the salary, all they complained of was the short notice. It wasn’t fair because while they—the leading Liberals—had been treating the electors with the contemptuous indifference that is customary, Sir Graball D’Encloseland had been most active amongst his constituents for months past, cunningly preparing for the contest. He had really been electioneering for the past six months! Last winter he had kicked off at quite a number of football matches besides doing all sorts of things for the local teams. He had joined the Buffalos and the Druids, been elected President of the Skull and Crossbones Boys’ Society, and, although he was not himself an abstainer, he was so friendly to Temperance that he had on several occasions, taken the chair at teetotal meetings, to say nothing of the teas to the poor school children and things of that sort. In short, he had been quite an active politician, in the Tory sense of the word, for months past and the poor Liberals had not smelt a rat until the election was sprung upon them.
They didn’t have any complaints about the salary; their only issue was the short notice. It wasn’t fair because while they—the leading Liberals—had been treating voters with the typical disregard, Sir Graball D’Encloseland had been actively engaging with his constituents for months, cleverly getting ready for the election. He had really been campaigning for the past six months! Last winter, he showed up at quite a few football matches, along with supporting local teams in various ways. He joined the Buffalos and the Druids, was elected President of the Skull and Crossbones Boys’ Society, and even though he wasn't an abstainer himself, he was so supportive of Temperance that he had chaired teetotal meetings on several occasions, not to mention hosting teas for poor school children and similar activities. In short, he had been a pretty active politician, in the Tory sense, for months, while the poor Liberals didn’t realize what was happening until the election was suddenly upon them.
A hurried meeting of the Liberal Three Hundred was held, and a deputation sent to London to find a candidate but as there was only a week before polling day they were unsuccessful in their mission. Another meeting was held, presided over by Mr Adam Sweater—Rushton and Didlum also being present.
A quick meeting of the Liberal Three Hundred took place, and a delegation was sent to London to find a candidate, but since there was only a week left before polling day, they couldn’t accomplish their task. Another meeting was held, led by Mr. Adam Sweater, with Rushton and Didlum also in attendance.
Profound dejection was depicted on the countenances of those assembled slave-drivers as they listened to the delegates’ report. The sombre silence that followed was broken at length by Mr Rushton, who suddenly started up and said that he began to think they had made a mistake in going outside the constituency at all to look for a man. It was strange but true that a prophet never received honour in his own land. They had been wasting the precious time running about all over the country, begging and praying for a candidate, and overlooking the fact that they had in their midst a gentleman—a fellow townsman, who, he believed, would have a better chance of success than any stranger. Surely they would all agree—if they could only prevail upon him to stand—that Adam Sweater would be an ideal Liberal Candidate!
Profound disappointment was visible on the faces of the gathered slave-drivers as they listened to the delegates’ report. The heavy silence that followed was finally broken by Mr. Rushton, who suddenly stood up and said that he was starting to think they had made a mistake by looking outside their community for a candidate. It was odd but true that a prophet never gets recognized in their own land. They had been wasting valuable time running around the country, pleading for a candidate, while overlooking the fact that they had a gentleman right in their midst—a fellow townsman, who he believed would have a better chance of success than any outsider. Surely they would all agree—if they could just convince him to run—that Adam Sweater would be the perfect Liberal Candidate!
While Mr Rushton was speaking the drooping spirits of the Three Hundred were reviving, and at the name of Sweater they all began to clap their hands and stamp their feet. Loud shouts of enthusiastic approval burst forth, and cries of “Good old Sweater” resounded through the room.
While Mr. Rushton was speaking, the low spirits of the Three Hundred were lifting, and at the mention of Sweater, they all started to clap their hands and stamp their feet. Loud shouts of enthusiastic approval erupted, and cries of “Good old Sweater” echoed throughout the room.
When Sweater rose to reply, the tumult died away as suddenly as it had commenced. He thanked them for the honour they were conferring upon him. There was no time to waste in words or idle compliments; rather than allow the Enemy to have a walk-over, he would accede to their request and contest the seat.
When Sweater stood up to respond, the noise quieted down just as quickly as it had started. He thanked them for the honor they were giving him. There was no time to waste on words or empty flattery; instead of letting the Enemy have an easy win, he would agree to their request and fight for the seat.
A roar of applause burst from the throats of the delighted Three Hundred.
A loud cheer erupted from the excited Three Hundred.
Outside the hall in which the meeting was being held a large crowd of poverty-stricken Liberal working men, many of them wearing broken boots and other men’s cast-off clothing, was waiting to hear the report of the slave-drivers’ deputation, and as soon as Sweater had consented to be nominated, Didlum rushed and opened the window overlooking the street and shouted the good news down to the crowd, which joined in the cheering. In response to their demands for a speech, Sweater brought his obese carcass to the window and addressed a few words to them, reminding them of the shortness of the time at their disposal, and entreating them to work hard in order that the Grand old Flag might be carried to victory.
Outside the hall where the meeting was taking place, a large crowd of struggling Liberal workers, many of them wearing worn-out boots and other people’s discarded clothes, was waiting to hear the report from the slave-drivers’ delegation. As soon as Sweater agreed to be nominated, Didlum rushed to the window facing the street and shouted the good news to the crowd, who started cheering. Responding to their calls for a speech, Sweater heaved his hefty body to the window and said a few words to them, reminding them that time was short and urging them to work hard so the Grand Old Flag could be carried to victory.
At such times these people forgot all about unemployment and starvation, and became enthusiastic about “Grand old Flags”. Their devotion to this flag was so great that so long as they were able to carry it to victory, they did not mind being poverty stricken and hungry and ragged; all that mattered was to score off their hated “enemies” their fellow countrymen the Tories, and carry the grand old flag to victory. The fact that they had carried the flag to victory so often in the past without obtaining any of the spoils, did not seem to damp their ardour in the least. Being philanthropists, they were content—after winning the victory—that their masters should always do the looting.
At times like these, people forgot all about unemployment and hunger, and got really pumped up about "Grand Old Flags." Their loyalty to this flag was so strong that as long as they could carry it to victory, they didn’t care about being poor, hungry, and ragged; all that mattered was beating their hated "enemies," their fellow countrymen the Tories, and bringing the grand old flag to victory. The fact that they had won battles carrying the flag so many times in the past without getting any rewards didn’t seem to dampen their enthusiasm at all. Being philanthropists, they were satisfied—after winning the battle—that their leaders should always do the looting.
At the conclusion of Sweater’s remarks the philanthropists gave three frantic cheers and then someone in the crowd shouted “What’s the colour?” After a hasty consultation with Rushton, who being a “master” decorator, was thought to be an authority on colours—green—grass green—was decided upon, and the information was shouted down to the crowd, who cheered again. Then a rush was made to Sweater’s Emporium and several yards of cheap green ribbon were bought, and divided up into little pieces, which they tied into their buttonholes, and thus appropriately decorated, formed themselves into military order, four deep, and marched through all the principal streets, up and down the Grand Parade, round and round the Fountain, and finally over the hill to Windley, singing to the tune of “Tramp, tramp, tramp, the Boys are marching”:
At the end of Sweater’s speech, the philanthropists cheered loudly three times, and then someone in the crowd yelled, “What’s the color?” After a quick discussion with Rushton, who was considered an expert on colors as a “master” decorator, they decided on green—grass green. This was announced to the crowd, who cheered again. Then everyone rushed to Sweater’s Emporium, bought several yards of cheap green ribbon, and cut it into small pieces, which they pinned into their buttonholes. With their decorations in place, they arranged themselves in military formation, four deep, and marched through all the main streets, up and down the Grand Parade, around the Fountain, and finally over the hill to Windley, singing to the tune of “Tramp, tramp, tramp, the Boys are marching.”
“Vote, Vote, Vote for Adam Sweater!
Hang old Closeland on a tree!
Adam Sweater is our man,
And we’ll have him if we can,
Then we’ll always have the biggest loaf for tea.”
“Vote, Vote, Vote for Adam Sweater!
Hang old Closeland on a tree!
Adam Sweater is our guy,
And we’ll get him if we try,
Then we’ll always have the biggest loaf for tea.”
The spectacle presented by these men—some of them with grey heads and beards—as they marked time or tramped along singing this childish twaddle, would have been amusing if it had not been disgusting.
The scene put on by these men—some of them with gray hair and beards—as they marched in place or walked along singing this silly nonsense, would have been entertaining if it weren't so gross.
By way of variety they sang several other things, including:
By way of variety, they sang a few other things, including:
“We’ll hang ole Closeland
On a sour apple tree,”
“We’ll hang old Closeland
On a sour apple tree,”
and
and
“Rally, Rally, men of Windley
For Sweater’s sure to win.”
“Rally, rally, guys of Windley
For Sweater’s definitely going to win.”
As they passed the big church in Quality Street, the clock began to strike. It was one of those that strike four chimes at each quarter of the hour. It was now ten o’clock so there were sixteen musical chimes:
As they walked by the big church on Quality Street, the clock started to chime. It was one of those clocks that chimes four times at every quarter hour. It was now ten o’clock, so there were sixteen musical chimes:
Ding, dong! Ding Dong!
Ding dong! Ding dong!
Ding dong! Ding dong!
Ding dong! Ding dong!
Ding, dong! Ding Dong!
Ding dong! Ding dong!
Ding dong! Ding dong!
Ding dong! Ding dong!
They all chanted A-dam Sweat-er” in time with the striking clock. In the same way the Tories would chant:
They all chanted "A-dam Sweat-er" in rhythm with the ticking clock. In the same way, the Tories would chant:
“Grab—all Close—land!
Grab—all Close—land!
Grab—all Close—land!
Grab—all Close—land!”
"Grab all the nearby land!
Grab all the nearby land!
Grab all the nearby land!
Grab all the nearby land!"
The town was soon deluged with mendacious literature and smothered with huge posters:
The town was quickly flooded with false advertising and buried under large posters:
“Vote for Adam Sweater!
The Working-man’s Friend!”
“Vote for Sweater and Temperance Reform.”
“Vote for Sweater—Free Trade and Cheap Food.”
“Vote for Adam Sweater!
The Working Man’s Friend!”
“Vote for Sweater and Temperance Reform.”
“Vote for Sweater—Free Trade and Affordable Food.”
or
or
“Vote for D’Encloseland: Tariff Reform and Plenty of Work!”
“Vote for D’Encloseland: Tax Reforms and Lots of Jobs!”
This beautiful idea—“Plenty of Work”—appealed strongly to the Tory workmen. They seemed to regard themselves and their children as a sort of machines or beasts of burden, created for the purpose of working for the benefit of other people. They did not think it right that they should Live, and enjoy the benefits of civilization. All they desired for themselves and their children was “Plenty of Work”.
This appealing concept—“Plenty of Work”—strongly resonated with the Tory workers. They viewed themselves and their children as a kind of machines or pack animals, made to work for the benefit of others. They didn't believe it was fair that they should live and enjoy the advantages of civilization. All they wanted for themselves and their children was “Plenty of Work.”
They marched about the streets singing their Marseillaise, “Work, Boys, Work and be contented”, to the tune of “Tramp, tramp, tramp the Boys are marching”, and at intervals as they tramped along, they gave three cheers for Sir Graball, Tariff Reform, and—Plenty of Work.
They marched through the streets singing their Marseillaise, “Work, Guys, Work and be happy,” to the tune of “Tramp, tramp, tramp the Guys are marching,” and at times as they walked along, they cheered three times for Sir Graball, Tariff Reform, and—Lots of Work.
Both sides imported gangs of hired orators who held forth every night at the corners of the principal streets, and on the open spaces from portable platforms, and from motor cars and lorries. The Tories said that the Liberal Party in the House of Commons was composed principally of scoundrels and fools, the Liberals said that the Tory Party were fools and scoundrels. A host of richly dressed canvassers descended upon Windley in carriages and motor cars, and begged for votes from the poverty-stricken working men who lived there.
Both sides brought in groups of paid speakers who spoke every night at the corners of the main streets and in open spaces, using portable platforms, cars, and trucks. The Tories claimed that the Liberal Party in the House of Commons was mainly made up of crooks and idiots, while the Liberals argued that the Tory Party consisted of idiots and crooks. A bunch of well-dressed campaigners arrived in carriages and cars, asking for votes from the struggling working-class men who lived there.
One evening a Liberal demonstration was held at the Cross Roads on Windley Hill. Notwithstanding the cold weather, there was a great crowd of shabbily dressed people, many of whom had not had a really good meal for months. It was a clear night. The moon was at the full, and the scene was further illuminated by the fitful glare of several torches, stuck on the end of twelve-foot poles. The platform was a large lorry, and there were several speakers, including Adam Sweater himself and a real live Liberal Peer—Lord Ammenegg. This individual had made a considerable fortune in the grocery and provision line, and had been elevated to the Peerage by the last Liberal Government on account of his services to the Party, and in consideration of other considerations.
One evening, there was a Liberal demonstration at the Cross Roads on Windley Hill. Despite the cold weather, a large crowd of poorly dressed people gathered, many of whom hadn’t had a decent meal in months. It was a clear night, with a full moon lighting up the scene, along with the flickering light from several torches mounted on twelve-foot poles. The platform was a big lorry, and there were several speakers, including Adam Sweater himself and a genuine Liberal Peer—Lord Ammenegg. This guy had made a decent fortune in grocery and provisions and was made a Peer by the last Liberal Government for his contributions to the Party and for other reasons.
Both Sweater and Ammenegg were to speak at two other meetings that night and were not expected at Windley until about eight-thirty, so to keep the ball rolling till they arrived, several other gentlemen, including Rushton—who presided—and Didlum, and one of the five pounds a week orators, addressed the meeting. Mingled with the crowd were about twenty rough-looking men—strangers to the town—who wore huge green rosettes and loudly applauded the speakers. They also distributed Sweater literature and cards with lists of the different meetings that were to be held during the election. These men were bullies hired by Sweater’s agent. They came from the neighbourhood of Seven Dials in London and were paid ten shillings a day. One of their duties was to incite the crowd to bash anyone who disturbed the meetings or tried to put awkward questions to the speakers.
Both Sweater and Ammenegg were scheduled to speak at two other meetings that night and wouldn’t be at Windley until around eight-thirty. To keep things moving until their arrival, several other gentlemen, including Rushton—who was in charge—Didlum, and one of the speakers who earned five pounds a week, addressed the gathering. Among the crowd were about twenty rough-looking men—strangers to the town—wearing large green rosettes and loudly applauding the speakers. They were also handing out Sweater literature and cards that listed the various meetings set to take place during the election. These men were thugs hired by Sweater’s agent. They came from the Seven Dials area in London and were paid ten shillings a day. One of their roles was to incite the crowd to intimidate anyone who disturbed the meetings or attempted to ask challenging questions of the speakers.
The hired orator was a tall, slight man with dark hair, beard and moustache, he might have been called well-looking if it had not been for an ugly scar upon his forehead, which gave him a rather sinister appearance. He was an effective speaker; the audience punctuated his speech with cheers, and when he wound up with an earnest appeal to them—as working men—to vote for Adam Sweater, their enthusiasm knew no bounds.
The hired speaker was a tall, thin guy with dark hair, a beard, and a mustache. He could have been considered good-looking if it weren't for the ugly scar on his forehead, which made him look a bit threatening. He was a powerful speaker; the crowd cheered throughout his talk, and when he ended with a passionate plea for them—as working men—to vote for Adam Sweater, their excitement was off the charts.
“I’ve seen him somewhere before,” remarked Barrington, who was standing in the crowd with Harlow, Owen and Easton.
“I’ve seen him somewhere before,” said Barrington, who was standing in the crowd with Harlow, Owen, and Easton.
“So have I,” said Owen, with a puzzled expression. “But for the life of me, I can’t remember where.”
“So have I,” said Owen, looking confused. “But for the life of me, I can’t remember where.”
Harlow and Easton also thought they had seen the man before, but their speculations were put an end to by the roar of cheering that heralded the arrival of the motor car, containing Adam Sweater and his friend, Lord Ammenegg. Unfortunately, those who had arranged the meeting had forgotten to provide a pair of steps, so Sweater found it a matter of considerable difficulty to mount the platform. However, while his friends were hoisting and pushing him up, the meeting beguiled the time by singing:
Harlow and Easton also thought they had seen the guy before, but their guesses were interrupted by the loud cheers that announced the arrival of the motor car with Adam Sweater and his friend, Lord Ammenegg. Unfortunately, the people who organized the meeting forgot to provide a pair of steps, so Sweater had a tough time getting onto the platform. However, while his friends were lifting and pushing him up, the meeting passed the time by singing:
“Vote, vote, vote for Adam Sweater.”
“Vote, vote, vote for Adam Sweater.”
After a terrible struggle they succeeded in getting him on to the cart, and while he was recovering his wind, Rushton made a few remarks to the crowd. Sweater then advanced to the front, but in consequence of the cheering and singing, he was unable to make himself heard for several minutes.
After a tough struggle, they managed to get him onto the cart, and while he was catching his breath, Rushton made a few comments to the crowd. Sweater then stepped to the front, but because of the cheering and singing, he couldn't make himself heard for several minutes.
When at length he was able to proceed, he made a very clever speech—it had been specially written for him and had cost ten guineas. A large part of it consisted of warnings against the dangers of Socialism. Sweater had carefully rehearsed this speech and he delivered it very effectively. Some of those Socialists, he said, were well-meaning but mistaken people, who did not realize the harm that would result if their extraordinary ideas were ever put into practice. He lowered his voice to a blood-curdling stage whisper as he asked:
When he was finally able to continue, he gave a really smart speech—it had been specially written for him and cost ten guineas. A big part of it was warnings about the dangers of Socialism. Sweater had practiced this speech a lot, and he delivered it very effectively. Some of those Socialists, he said, were well-meaning but misguided people who didn't understand the harm that would come if their extreme ideas were ever put into action. He lowered his voice to a chilling stage whisper as he asked:
“What is this Socialism that we hear so much about, but which so few understand? What is it, and what does it mean?”
“What is this Socialism that we hear so much about, but which so few understand? What is it, and what does it mean?”
Then, raising his voice till it rang through the air and fell upon the ears of the assembled multitude like the clanging of a funeral bell, he continued:
Then, raising his voice until it echoed through the air and struck the ears of the gathered crowd like the tolling of a funeral bell, he continued:
“It is madness! Chaos! Anarchy! It means Ruin! Black Ruin for the rich, and consequently, of course, Blacker Ruin still for the poor!”
“It’s madness! Chaos! Anarchy! It spells disaster! Total disaster for the wealthy, and naturally, even worse disaster for the poor!”
As Sweater paused, a thrill of horror ran through the meeting. Men wearing broken boots and with patches upon the seats and knees, and ragged fringes round the bottoms of the legs of their trousers, grew pale, and glanced apprehensively at each other. If ever Socialism did come to pass, they evidently thought it very probable that they would have to walk about in a sort of prehistoric highland costume, without any trousers or boots at all.
As Sweater paused, a wave of fear swept through the meeting. Men in worn-out boots, patched-up pants, and frayed edges on the bottoms of their trousers turned pale and exchanged nervous looks. They clearly believed that if Socialism ever happened, it was likely they would have to roam around in some kind of ancient highland outfit, without any trousers or boots whatsoever.
Toil-worn women, most of them dressed in other women’s shabby cast-off clothing—weary, tired-looking mothers who fed their children for the most part on adulterated tea, tinned skimmed milk and bread and margarine, grew furious as they thought of the wicked Socialists who were trying to bring Ruin upon them.
Toil-worn women, many of them wearing tattered clothes from others—exhausted, worn-out mothers who often fed their kids with cheap tea, canned skim milk, bread, and margarine—became furious when they thought of the evil Socialists trying to bring disaster upon them.
It never occurred to any of these poor people that they were in a condition of Ruin, Black Ruin, already. But if Sweater had suddenly found himself reduced to the same social condition as the majority of those he addressed, there is not much doubt that he would have thought that he was in a condition of Black Ruin.
It never crossed any of these unfortunate people's minds that they were already in a state of Ruin, Black Ruin, in fact. But if Sweater were to suddenly find himself in the same social situation as most of those he spoke to, there's little doubt he would have believed he was in a state of Black Ruin.
The awful silence that had fallen on the panic-stricken crowd, was presently broken by a ragged-trousered Philanthropist, who shouted out:
The heavy silence that had settled over the terrified crowd was soon interrupted by a man in ragged trousers, who yelled:
“We knows wot they are, sir. Most of ’em is chaps wot’s got tired of workin’ for their livin’, so they wants us to keep ’em.”
“We know what they are, sir. Most of them are guys who got tired of working for a living, so they want us to support them.”
Encouraged by numerous expressions of approval from the other Philanthropists, the man continued:
Encouraged by many signs of approval from the other philanthropists, the man continued:
“But we ain’t such fools as they thinks, and so they’ll find out next Monday. Most of ’em wants ’angin’, and I wouldn’t mind lendin’ a ’and with the rope myself.”
“But we’re not as foolish as they think, and they’ll realize that next Monday. Most of them want hanging, and I wouldn’t mind helping out with the rope myself.”
Applause and laughter greeted these noble sentiments, and Sweater resumed his address, when another man—evidently a Socialist—for he was accompanied by three or four others who like himself wore red ties—interrupted and said that he would like to ask him a question. No notice was taken of this request either by Mr Sweater or the chairman, but a few angry cries of “Order!” came from the crowd. Sweater continued, but the man again interrupted and the cries of the crowd became more threatening. Rushton started up and said that he could not allow the speaker to be interrupted, but if the gentleman would wait till the end of the meeting, he would have an opportunity of asking his question then.
Applause and laughter welcomed these noble sentiments, and Sweater continued his speech when another man—clearly a Socialist, as he was with three or four others who also wore red ties—interrupted and said he wanted to ask a question. Neither Mr. Sweater nor the chairman acknowledged this request, but a few angry shouts of “Order!” rang out from the crowd. Sweater kept going, but the man interrupted again, and the crowd's shouts grew more hostile. Rushton stood up and said he couldn't allow the speaker to be interrupted, but if the gentleman would wait until the end of the meeting, he could ask his question then.
The man said he would wait as desired; Sweater resumed his oration, and presently the interrupter and his friends found themselves surrounded by the gang of hired bullies who wore the big rosettes and who glared menacingly at them.
The man said he would wait as needed; Sweater continued his speech, and soon the interrupter and his friends realized they were surrounded by a group of hired thugs wearing large rosettes, who were glaring at them threateningly.
Sweater concluded his speech with an appeal to the crowd to deal a “Slashing Bow at the Enemy” next Monday, and then amid a storm of applause, Lord Ammenegg stepped to the front. He said that he did not intend to inflict a long speech upon them that evening, and as it was nomination day tomorrow he would not be able to have the honour of addressing them again during the election; but even if he had wished to make a long speech, it would be very difficult after the brilliant and eloquent address they had just listened to from Mr Sweater, for it seemed to him (Ammenegg) that Adam Sweater had left nothing for anyone else to say. But he would like to tell them of a Thought that had occurred to him that evening. They read in the Bible that the Wise Men came from the East. Windley, as they all knew, was the East end of the town. They were the men of the East, and he was sure that next Monday they would prove that they were the Wise Men of the East, by voting for Adam Sweater and putting him at the top of the poll with a “Thumping Majority”.
Sweater wrapped up his speech by asking the crowd to deliver a “Slashing Bow at the Enemy” next Monday, and as applause erupted, Lord Ammenegg stepped forward. He mentioned that he didn’t plan to give them a long speech that evening. Since tomorrow was nomination day, he wouldn’t get the chance to speak to them again during the election. Even if he wanted to give a longer speech, it would be tough after the brilliant and eloquent address they just heard from Mr. Sweater, because it seemed to him (Ammenegg) that Adam Sweater had said it all. However, he wanted to share a thought that had come to him that evening. They read in the Bible that the Wise Men came from the East. Windley, as everyone knew, was the East end of town. They were the men of the East, and he was confident that next Monday, they would show they were the Wise Men of the East by voting for Adam Sweater and placing him at the top of the poll with a “Thumping Majority.”
The Wise Men of the East greeted Ammenegg’s remarks with prolonged, imbecile cheers, and amid the tumult his Lordship and Sweater got into the motor car and cleared off without giving the man with the red tie or anyone else who desired to ask questions any opportunity of doing so. Rushton and the other leaders got into another motor car, and followed the first to take part in another meeting down-town, which was to be addressed by the great Sir Featherstone Blood.
The Wise Men of the East responded to Ammenegg’s comments with loud, foolish cheers, and in the chaos, his Lordship and Sweater got into the car and drove off, leaving the man with the red tie and anyone else who wanted to ask questions without a chance to speak. Rushton and the other leaders climbed into another car and followed the first one to attend another meeting downtown, which would be led by the renowned Sir Featherstone Blood.
The crowd now resolved itself into military order, headed by the men with torches and a large white banner on which was written in huge black letters, “Our man is Adam Sweater”.
The crowd now organized itself into military formation, led by the men with torches and a large white banner that displayed in big black letters, “Our guy is Adam Sweater.”
They marched down the hill singing, and when they reached the Fountain on the Grand Parade they saw another crowd holding a meeting there. These were Tories and they became so infuriated at the sound of the Liberal songs and by the sight of the banner, that they abandoned their meeting and charged the processionists. A free fight ensued. Both sides fought like savages, but as the Liberals were outnumbered by about three to one, they were driven off the field with great slaughter; most of the torch poles were taken from them, and the banner was torn to ribbons. Then the Tories went back to the Fountain carrying the captured torches, and singing to the tune of “Has anyone seen a German Band?”
They marched down the hill singing, and when they got to the Fountain on the Grand Parade, they saw another crowd having a meeting there. These were Tories, and they became so furious at the sound of the Liberal songs and the sight of the banner that they abandoned their meeting and charged at the marchers. A brawl broke out. Both sides fought fiercely, but since the Liberals were outnumbered about three to one, they were pushed off the field with heavy losses; most of the torch poles were taken from them, and the banner was ripped to shreds. Then the Tories returned to the Fountain carrying the stolen torches and singing to the tune of “Has anyone seen a German Band?”
“Has anyone seen a Lib’ral Flag,
Lib’ral Flag, Lib’ral Flag?”
“Has anyone seen a Liberal Flag,
Liberal Flag, Liberal Flag?”
While the Tories resumed their meeting at the Fountain, the Liberals rallied in one of the back streets. Messengers were sent in various directions for reinforcements, and about half an hour afterwards they emerged from their retreat and swooped down upon the Tory meeting. They overturned the platform, recaptured their torches, tore the enemy’s banner to tatters and drove them from their position. Then the Liberals in their turn paraded the streets singing “Has anyone seen a Tory Flag?” and proceeded to the hall where Sir Featherstone was speaking, arriving as the audience left.
While the Tories resumed their meeting at the Fountain, the Liberals gathered in one of the back streets. Messengers were sent out in different directions to call for reinforcements, and about half an hour later, they came out of hiding and charged at the Tory meeting. They knocked down the platform, reclaimed their torches, ripped the enemy’s banner to shreds, and drove them away from their spot. Then, the Liberals paraded the streets singing “Has anyone seen a Tory Flag?” and made their way to the hall where Sir Featherstone was speaking, arriving just as the audience was leaving.
The crowd that came pouring out of the hall was worked up to a frenzy of enthusiasm, for the speech they had just listened to had been a sort of manifesto to the country.
The crowd that rushed out of the hall was fired up with excitement because the speech they had just heard felt like a manifesto for the country.
In response to the cheering of the processionists—who, of course, had not heard the speech, but were cheering from force of habit—Sir Featherstone Blood stood up in the carriage and addressed the crowd, briefly outlining the great measures of Social Reform that his party proposed to enact to improve the condition of the working classes; and as they listened, the Wise Men grew delirious with enthusiasm. He referred to Land Taxes and Death Duties which would provide money to build battleships to protect the property of the rich, and provide Work for the poor. Another tax was to provide a nice, smooth road for the rich to ride upon in motor cars—and to provide Work for the poor. Another tax would be used for Development, which would also make Work for the poor. And so on. A great point was made of the fact that the rich were actually to be made to pay something towards the cost of their road themselves! But nothing was said about how they would get the money to do it. No reference was made to how the workers would be sweated and driven and starved to earn Dividends and Rent and Interest and Profits to put into the pockets of the rich before the latter would be able to pay for anything at all.
In response to the cheers from the parade participants—who, of course, hadn't heard the speech but were cheering out of habit—Sir Featherstone Blood stood up in the carriage and addressed the crowd, briefly outlining the major Social Reform measures his party planned to implement to improve the lives of working-class people. As they listened, the Wise Men became wildly enthusiastic. He talked about Land Taxes and Death Duties that would generate money to build battleships to protect the property of the wealthy and create jobs for the poor. Another tax would fund a smooth road for the rich to drive their cars on—and also create jobs for the poor. Another tax would be used for Development, which would similarly create jobs for the poor. And so on. It was emphasized that the wealthy would actually have to pay something towards the cost of their road themselves! But there was no mention of how they would raise the money to do it. No reference was made to how workers would be overworked, pressured, and starved to earn Dividends and Rent and Interest and Profits that would fill the pockets of the rich before they could pay for anything at all.
These are the things, Gentlemen, that we propose to do for you, and, at the rate of progress which we propose to adopt, I say without fear or contradiction, that within the next Five Hundred years we shall so reform social conditions in this country, that the working classes will be able to enjoy some of the benefits of civilization.
These are the things we plan to do for you, gentlemen, and based on the rate of progress we intend to take, I can confidently say that within the next five hundred years, we will reform social conditions in this country enough for the working class to enjoy some benefits of civilization.
“The only question before you is: Are you willing to wait for Five Hundred Years?”
“The only question for you is: Are you willing to wait for Five Hundred Years?”
“Yes, sir,” shouted the Wise Men with enthusiasm at the glorious prospect.
“Yes, sir,” shouted the Wise Men eagerly at the amazing prospect.
“Yes, Sir: we’ll wait a thousand years if you like, Sir!”
“Yeah, sure: we’ll wait a thousand years if that’s what you want!”
“I’ve been waiting all my life,” said one poor old veteran, who had assisted to “carry the ‘Old Flag’ to victory” times out of number in the past and who for his share of the spoils of those victories was now in a condition of abject, miserable poverty, with the portals of the workhouse yawning open to receive him; “I’ve waited all my life, hoping and trusting for better conditions so a few more years won’t make much difference to me.”
“I’ve been waiting my whole life,” said one poor old veteran, who had helped “carry the ‘Old Flag’ to victory” countless times in the past and who, for his share of the rewards from those victories, was now living in complete, miserable poverty, with the doors of the workhouse wide open to welcome him; “I’ve waited my whole life, hoping and trusting for better conditions, so a few more years won’t make much difference to me.”
“Don’t you trouble to ’urry yourself, Sir,” shouted another Solomon in the crowd. “We don’t mind waiting. Take your own time, Sir. You know better than the likes of us ’ow long it ought to take.”
“Don't rush yourself, Sir,” shouted another Solomon in the crowd. “We don’t mind waiting. Take your own time, Sir. You know better than we do how long it should take.”
In conclusion, the great man warned them against being led away by the Socialists, those foolish, unreasonable, impractical people who wanted to see an immediate improvement in their condition; and he reminded them that Rome was not built in a day.
In conclusion, the great man warned them not to be swayed by the Socialists, those naïve, unreasonable, and impractical individuals who were eager for an immediate upgrade in their situation; he reminded them that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
The Wise Men applauded lustily. It did not appear to occur to any of them that the rate at which the ancient Roman conducted their building operations had nothing whatever to do with the case.
The Wise Men clapped enthusiastically. It didn't seem to cross any of their minds that the speed at which the ancient Romans carried out their construction projects had nothing to do with the situation.
Sir Featherstone Blood sat down amid a wild storm of cheering, and then the procession reformed, and, reinforced by the audience from the hall, they proceeded to march about the dreary streets, singing, to the tune of the “Men of Harlech”:
Sir Featherstone Blood took a seat in the midst of a loud storm of cheers, and then the procession rearranged itself, with the crowd from the hall joining in, as they began marching through the gloomy streets, singing to the tune of “Men of Harlech”:
“Vote for Sweater, Vote for Sweater!
Vote for Sweater, VOTE FOR SWEATER!
“He’s the Man, who has a plan,
To liberate and reinstate the workers!
“Men of Mugs’bro”, show your mettle,
Let them see that you’re in fettle!
Once for all this question settle
Sweater shall Prevail!”
“Vote for Sweater, Vote for Sweater!
Vote for Sweater, VOTE FOR SWEATER!
“He’s the guy with a plan,
To free and restore the workers!
“Men of Mugs’bro,” show your strength,
Let them see that you’re in good shape!
Once and for all, let’s settle this
Sweater will win!”
The carriage containing Sir Featherstone, Adam Sweater, and Rushton and Didlum was in the middle of the procession. The banner and the torches were at the head, and the grandeur of the scene was heightened by four men who walked—two on each side of the carriage, burning green fire in frying pans. As they passed by the Slave Market, a poor, shabbily dressed wretch whose boots were so worn and rotten that they were almost falling off his feet, climbed up a lamp-post, and taking off his cap waved it in the air and shrieked out: “Three Cheers for Sir Featherstone Blood, our future Prime Minister!”
The carriage with Sir Featherstone, Adam Sweater, and Rushton and Didlum was at the center of the parade. The banner and torches led the way, and the spectacle was made even more impressive by four men walking on either side of the carriage, holding frying pans filled with burning green fire. As they passed the Slave Market, a poorly dressed man whose boots were so tattered they were nearly falling off scrambled up a lamp post, took off his cap, waved it in the air, and shouted, “Three cheers for Sir Featherstone Blood, our future Prime Minister!”
The Philanthropists cheered themselves hoarse and finally took the horses out of the traces and harnessed themselves to the carriage instead.
The Philanthropists cheered themselves hoarse and eventually took the horses out of the traces and hitched themselves to the carriage instead.
“’Ow much wages will Sir Featherstone get if ’e is made Prime Minister?” asked Harlow of another Philanthropist who was also pushing up behind the carriage.
“Hey, how much will Sir Featherstone make if he becomes Prime Minister?” Harlow asked another philanthropist who was also following behind the carriage.
“Five thousand a year,” replied the other, who by some strange chance happened to know. “That comes to a ’underd pounds a week.”
"Five thousand a year," replied the other, who for some odd reason happened to know. "That comes to a hundred pounds a week."
“Little enough, too, for a man like ’im,” said Harlow.
“Not much, either, for a guy like him,” said Harlow.
“You’re right, mate,” said the other, with deep sympathy in his voice. “Last time ’e ’eld office ’e was only in for five years, so ’e only made twenty-five thousand pounds out of it. Of course ’e got a pension as well—two thousand a year for life, I think it is; but after all, what’s that—for a man like ’im?”
“You're right, man,” said the other, with genuine sympathy in his voice. “The last time he held office, he was only in for five years, so he only made twenty-five thousand pounds from it. Of course, he got a pension too—two thousand a year for life, I believe; but really, what's that for someone like him?”
“Nothing,” replied Harlow, in a tone of commiseration, and Newman, who was also there, helping to drag the carriage, said that it ought to be at least double that amount.
“Nothing,” replied Harlow, with a tone of sympathy, and Newman, who was also there helping to pull the carriage, said it should be at least twice that amount.
However, they found some consolation in knowing that Sir Featherstone would not have to wait till he was seventy before he obtained his pension; he would get it directly he came out of office.
However, they found some comfort in knowing that Sir Featherstone wouldn’t have to wait until he was seventy to receive his pension; he would get it as soon as he left office.
The following evening Barrington, Owen and a few others of the same way of thinking, who had subscribed enough money between them to purchase a lot of Socialist leaflets, employed themselves distributing them to the crowds at the Liberal and Tory meetings, and whilst they were doing this they frequently became involved in arguments with the supporters of the capitalist system. In their attempts to persuade others to refrain from voting for either of the candidates, they were opposed even by some who professed to believe in Socialism, who said that as there was no better Socialist candidate the thing to do was to vote for the better of the two. This was the view of Harlow and Easton, whom they met. Harlow had a green ribbon in his buttonhole, but Easton wore D’Encloseland’s colours.
The next evening, Barrington, Owen, and a few like-minded people pooled their money to buy a bunch of Socialist leaflets and spent their time handing them out to the crowds at the Liberal and Tory meetings. While doing this, they often found themselves in debates with supporters of the capitalist system. In their efforts to convince others not to vote for either candidate, they faced opposition even from some who claimed to believe in Socialism. These individuals argued that since there was no better Socialist candidate, the best course of action was to vote for the lesser of the two evils. This was the opinion of Harlow and Easton, whom they encountered. Harlow had a green ribbon in his buttonhole, while Easton wore D’Encloseland’s colors.
One man said that if he had his way, all those who had votes should be compelled to record them—whether they liked it or not—or be disenfranchised! Barrington asked him if he believed in Tarrif Reform. The man said no.
One guy said that if he had it his way, everyone who could vote should be required to cast their votes—whether they wanted to or not—or they would lose their voting rights! Barrington asked him if he believed in Tariff Reform. The guy said no.
“Why not?” demanded Barrington.
“Why not?” Barrington asked.
The other replied that he opposed Tariff Reform because he believed it would ruin the country. Barrington inquired if he were a supporter of Socialism. The man said he was not, and when further questioned he said that he believed if it were ever adopted it would bring black ruin upon the country—he believed this because Mr Sweater had said so. When Barrington asked him—supposing there were only two candidates, one a Socialist and the other a Tariff Reformer—how would he like to be compelled to vote for one of them, he was at a loss for an answer.
The other person said he was against Tariff Reform because he thought it would destroy the country. Barrington asked if he supported Socialism. The man replied that he did not, and when pressed further, he said he believed that if it were ever put in place, it would lead to total disaster for the nation—he thought this because Mr. Sweater had claimed so. When Barrington asked him—if there were only two candidates, one a Socialist and the other a Tariff Reformer—how he would feel about being forced to vote for one of them, he didn’t know how to respond.
During the next few days the contest continued. The hired orators continued to pour forth their streams of eloquence; and tons of literature flooded the town. The walls were covered with huge posters: “Another Liberal Lie.” “Another Tory Fraud.”
During the next few days, the contest went on. The hired speakers kept delivering their impressive speeches, and tons of literature filled the town. The walls were plastered with big posters: “Another Liberal Lie.” “Another Tory Fraud.”
Unconsciously each of these two parties put in some splendid work for Socialism, in so much that each of them thoroughly exposed the hypocrisy of the other. If the people had only had the sense, they might have seen that the quarrel between the Liberal and Tory leaders was merely a quarrel between thieves over the spoil; but unfortunately most of the people had not the sense to perceive this. They were blinded by bigoted devotion to their parties, and—inflamed with maniacal enthusiasm—thought of nothing but “carrying their flags to victory”.
Unknowingly, both sides did some great work for Socialism by fully revealing the hypocrisy of the other. If the people had just been aware, they might have realized that the fight between the Liberal and Tory leaders was just a dispute between thieves over the loot; but sadly, most people lacked the insight to see this. They were blinded by their passionate loyalty to their parties and, caught up in frenzied enthusiasm, only thought about “carrying their flags to victory.”
At considerable danger to themselves, Barrington, Owen and the other Socialists continued to distribute their leaflets and to heckle the Liberal and Tory speakers. They asked the Tories to explain the prevalence of unemployment and poverty in protected countries, like Germany and America, and at Sweater’s meetings they requested to be informed what was the Liberal remedy for unemployment. From both parties the Socialists obtained the same kinds of answer—threats of violence and requests “not to disturb the meeting”.
At great risk to themselves, Barrington, Owen, and the other Socialists kept handing out their leaflets and interrupting the Liberal and Tory speakers. They challenged the Tories to explain why unemployment and poverty were so widespread in protected countries like Germany and America, and at Sweater’s meetings, they wanted to know what the Liberal solution was for unemployment. From both parties, the Socialists received the same types of responses—threats of violence and requests “not to disturb the meeting.”
These Socialists held quite a lot of informal meetings on their own. Every now and then when they were giving their leaflets away, some unwary supporter of the capitalist system would start an argument, and soon a crowd would gather round and listen.
These Socialists had a lot of casual meetings among themselves. Occasionally, when they were handing out their leaflets, some unsuspecting supporter of capitalism would spark a debate, and before long, a crowd would form around them and listen.
Sometimes the Socialists succeeded in arguing their opponents to an absolute standstill, for the Liberals and Tories found it impossible to deny that machinery is the cause of the overcrowded state of the labour market; that the overcrowded labour market is the cause of unemployment; that the fact of there being always an army of unemployed waiting to take other men’s jobs away from them destroys the independence of those who are in employment and keeps them in subjection to their masters. They found it impossible to deny that this machinery is being used, not for the benefit of all, but to make fortunes for a few. In short, they were unable to disprove that the monopoly of the land and machinery by a comparatively few persons, is the cause of the poverty of the majority. But when these arguments that they were unable to answer were put before them and when it was pointed out that the only possible remedy was the Public Ownership and Management of the Means of production, they remained angrily silent, having no alternative plan to suggest.
Sometimes the Socialists managed to argue their opponents into a complete deadlock, as the Liberals and Tories found it impossible to deny that machinery is the reason for the overcrowded labor market; that the overcrowded labor market leads to unemployment; that having a constant pool of unemployed people ready to take others' jobs undermines the independence of those who are employed and keeps them submissive to their bosses. They couldn't deny that this machinery is being used, not for the benefit of everyone, but to enrich a select few. In short, they were unable to refute the claim that the monopoly of land and machinery by a relatively small group of people is the cause of the majority's poverty. But when they were faced with these unanswerable arguments and it was pointed out that the only viable solution was Public Ownership and Management of the Means of Production, they remained angrily silent, having no alternative plan to propose.
At other times the meeting resolved itself into a number of quarrelsome disputes between the Liberals and Tories that formed the crowd, which split itself up into a lot of little groups and whatever the original subject might have been they soon drifted to a hundred other things, for most of the supporters of the present system seemed incapable of pursuing any one subject to its logical conclusion. A discussion would be started about something or other; presently an unimportant side issue would crop up, then the original subject would be left unfinished, and they would argue and shout about the side issue. In a little while another side issue would arise, and then the first side issue would be abandoned also unfinished, and an angry wrangle about the second issue would ensue, the original subject being altogether forgotten.
At other times, the meeting turned into a series of heated arguments between the Liberals and Tories in the crowd, which broke into several small groups. No matter what the original topic was, they quickly veered off to a hundred other things, as most of the supporters of the current system seemed unable to stick to one topic long enough to reach a conclusion. A discussion would begin about one thing or another; soon, a minor side issue would pop up, then they’d leave the original topic unfinished and start arguing and shouting about the side issue. Before long, another side issue would arise, and the first side issue would also go unresolved, leading to a heated debate about the second issue while the original topic was completely forgotten.
They did not seem to really desire to discover the truth or to find out the best way to bring about an improvement in their condition, their only object seemed to be to score off their opponents.
They didn't really seem interested in finding the truth or figuring out the best way to improve their situation; their only goal appeared to be to one-up their opponents.
Usually after one of these arguments, Owen would wander off by himself, with his head throbbing and a feeling of unutterable depression and misery at his heart; weighed down by a growing conviction of the hopelessness of everything, of the folly of expecting that his fellow workmen would ever be willing to try to understand for themselves the causes that produced their sufferings. It was not that those causes were so obscure that it required exceptional intelligence to perceive them; the causes of all the misery were so apparent that a little child could easily be made to understand both the disease and the remedy; but it seemed to him that the majority of his fellow workmen had become so convinced of their own intellectual inferiority that they did not dare to rely on their own intelligence to guide them, preferring to resign the management of their affairs unreservedly into the hands of those who battened upon and robbed them. They did not know the causes of the poverty that perpetually held them and their children in its cruel grip, and—they did not want to know! And if one explained those causes to them in such language and in such a manner that they were almost compelled to understand, and afterwards pointed out to them the obvious remedy, they were neither glad nor responsive, but remained silent and were angry because they found themselves unable to answer and disprove.
Usually after one of these arguments, Owen would walk away by himself, his head pounding and a deep sense of depression and misery weighing on his heart; burdened by a growing belief in the hopelessness of everything, and the foolishness of thinking that his fellow workers would ever want to understand for themselves the reasons for their suffering. It wasn’t that those reasons were so unclear that it took extraordinary intelligence to see them; the sources of all the misery were so obvious that even a child could easily grasp both the problem and the solution. But he felt that most of his fellow workers had become so convinced of their own lack of intelligence that they didn’t dare trust their own judgment, preferring to completely hand over control of their lives to those who profited from and exploited them. They didn’t know the reasons for the poverty that constantly trapped them and their children in its harsh grasp, and—they didn’t want to know! Even when one explained those reasons in clear language that nearly forced them to understand, and then pointed out the obvious solution, they were neither happy nor responsive, but remained silent and angry because they found themselves unable to refute it.
They remained silent; afraid to trust their own intelligence, and the reason of this attitude was that they had to choose between the evidence and their own intelligence, and the stories told them by their masters and exploiters. And when it came to making this choice they deemed it safer to follow their old guides, than to rely on their own judgement, because from their very infancy they had had drilled into them the doctrine of their own mental and social inferiority, and their conviction of the truth of this doctrine was voiced in the degraded expression that fell so frequently from their lips, when speaking of themselves and each other—“The Likes of Us!”
They stayed quiet, afraid to trust their own intelligence. The reason for this was that they had to choose between the evidence and their own understanding, versus the stories told to them by their bosses and exploiters. When it came time to make this choice, they felt it was safer to stick with their old guides rather than trust their own judgment. From a young age, they had been taught the belief in their own mental and social inferiority, and their conviction in this belief was expressed in the degrading phrase that often slipped from their lips when talking about themselves and each other—“The Likes of Us!”
They did not know the causes of their poverty, they did not want to know, they did not want to hear.
They didn't understand the reasons for their poverty, they didn't want to know, and they didn't want to listen.
All they desired was to be left alone so that they might continue to worship and follow those who took advantage of their simplicity, and robbed them of the fruits of their toil; their old leaders, the fools or scoundrels who fed them with words, who had led them into the desolation where they now seemed to be content to grind out treasure for their masters, and to starve when those masters did not find it profitable to employ them. It was as if a flock of foolish sheep placed themselves under the protection of a pack of ravening wolves.
All they wanted was to be left alone so they could keep worshiping and following those who exploited their innocence and took away the rewards of their hard work; their old leaders, the idiots or crooks who fed them empty promises, had led them into the misery where they now seemed okay with toiling for their masters and starving when those masters found it unprofitable to hire them. It was like a group of naive sheep putting themselves under the protection of a pack of hungry wolves.
Several times the small band of Socialists narrowly escaped being mobbed, but they succeeded in disposing of most of their leaflets without any serious trouble. Towards the latter part of one evening Barrington and Owen became separated from the others, and shortly afterwards these two lost each other in the crush.
Several times, the small group of Socialists narrowly avoided being mobbed, but they managed to hand out most of their leaflets without any major issues. Towards the end of one evening, Barrington and Owen got separated from the others, and shortly after that, the two lost track of each other in the crowd.
About nine o’clock, Barrington was in a large Liberal crowd, listening to the same hired orator who had spoken a few evenings before on the hill—the man with the scar on his forehead. The crowd was applauding him loudly and Barrington again fell to wondering where he had seen this man before. As on the previous occasion, this speaker made no reference to Socialism, confining himself to other matters. Barrington examined him closely, trying to recall under what circumstances they had met previously, and presently he remembered that this was one of the Socialists who had come with the band of cyclists into the town that Sunday morning, away back at the beginning of the summer, the man who had come afterwards with the van, and who had been struck down by a stone while attempting to speak from the platform of the van, the man who had been nearly killed by the upholders of the capitalist system. It was the same man! The Socialist had been clean-shaven—this man wore beard and moustache—but Barrington was certain he was the same.
About nine o’clock, Barrington was in a large Liberal crowd, listening to the same hired speaker who had talked a few nights earlier on the hill—the guy with the scar on his forehead. The crowd was clapping for him loudly, and Barrington found himself wondering again where he had seen this man before. Just like the last time, this speaker didn’t mention Socialism, sticking to other topics. Barrington watched him closely, trying to remember how they had met before, and eventually realized that this was one of the Socialists who had arrived with the group of cyclists in town that Sunday morning back at the beginning of summer, the man who had shown up later with the van, and who had been struck by a stone while trying to speak from the platform of the van, the man who had nearly been killed by those defending the capitalist system. It was definitely the same guy! The Socialist had been clean-shaven—this man had a beard and moustache—but Barrington was sure he was the same person.
When the man had concluded his speech he got down and stood in the shade behind the platform, while someone else addressed the meeting, and Barrington went round to where he was standing, intending to speak to him.
When the man finished his speech, he got down and stood in the shade behind the platform while someone else spoke to the meeting. Barrington walked over to where he was standing, planning to talk to him.
All around them, pandemonium reigned supreme. They were in the vicinity of the Slave Market, near the Fountain, on the Grand Parade, where several roads met; there was a meeting going on at every corner, and a number of others in different parts of the roadway and on the pavement of the Parade. Some of these meetings were being carried on by two or three men, who spoke in turn from small, portable platforms they carried with them, and placed wherever they thought there was a chance of getting an audience.
All around them, chaos was at its peak. They were near the Slave Market, close to the Fountain, on the Grand Parade, where several roads intersected; there was a gathering happening at every corner, and many more in different areas of the road and on the pavement of the Parade. Some of these gatherings were led by two or three men, who took turns speaking from small, portable platforms they carried with them, setting them up wherever they thought they might attract an audience.
Every now and then some of these poor wretches—they were all paid speakers—were surrounded and savagely mauled and beaten by a hostile crowd. If they were Tariff Reformers the Liberals mobbed them, and vice versa. Lines of rowdies swaggered to and fro, arm in arm, singing, “Vote, Vote, Vote, for good ole Closeland” or “good ole Sweater”, according as they were green or blue and yellow. Gangs of hooligans paraded up and down, armed with sticks, singing, howling, cursing and looking for someone to hit. Others stood in groups on the pavement with their hands thrust in their pockets, or leaned against walls or the shutters of the shops with expressions of ecstatic imbecility on their faces, chanting the mournful dirge to the tune of the church chimes,
Every now and then, some of these poor souls—they were all paid speakers—were surrounded and violently attacked by a hostile crowd. If they were Tariff Reformers, the Liberals would mob them, and vice versa. Groups of rowdies swaggered back and forth, arm in arm, singing, “Vote, Vote, Vote, for good old Closeland” or “good old Sweater,” depending on whether they were green or blue and yellow. Teams of troublemakers paraded up and down, armed with sticks, singing, yelling, swearing, and looking for someone to hit. Others stood in groups on the sidewalk with their hands shoved in their pockets, or leaned against walls or shop shutters with blank, ecstatic looks on their faces, chanting a mournful tune to the beat of the church bells.
“Good—ole—Sweat—er
Good—ole—Sweat—er
Good—ole—Sweat—er
Good—ole—Sweat—er.”
"Good old sweater
Good old sweater
Good old sweater
Good old sweater."
Other groups—to the same tune—sang “Good—ole—Close—land”; and every now and again they used to leave off singing and begin to beat each other. Fights used to take place, often between workmen, about the respective merits of Adam Sweater and Sir Graball D’Encloseland.
Other groups, singing along the same lines, would belt out “Good-ole-Close-land”; and now and then, they'd stop singing to start beating each other up. Fights would break out, often among workers, over who was better: Adam Sweater or Sir Graball D’Encloseland.
The walls were covered with huge Liberal and Tory posters, which showed in every line the contempt of those who published them for the intelligence of the working men to whom they were addressed. There was one Tory poster that represented the interior of a public house; in front of the bar, with a quart pot in his hand, a clay pipe in his mouth, and a load of tools on his back, stood a degraded-looking brute who represented the Tory ideal of what an Englishman should be; the letterpress on the poster said it was a man! This is the ideal of manhood that they hold up to the majority of their fellow countrymen, but privately—amongst themselves—the Tory aristocrats regard such “men” with far less respect than they do the lower animals. Horses or dogs, for instance.
The walls were plastered with massive Liberal and Tory posters, which made it clear in every line that the publishers held a low opinion of the intelligence of the working men they were targeting. One Tory poster depicted the inside of a pub; in front of the bar, clutching a quart pot, smoking a clay pipe, and weighed down by a load of tools, stood a pitiful-looking figure who embodied the Tory vision of an Englishman. The text on the poster claimed it was a man! This is the ideal of masculinity they present to the majority of their fellow citizens, but in private—among themselves—the Tory elites have far less respect for such “men” than they do for lower animals, like horses or dogs, for example.
The Liberal posters were not quite so offensive. They were more cunning, more specious, more hypocritical and consequently more calculated to mislead and deceive the more intelligent of the voters.
The Liberal posters weren’t as outrageous. They were more sneaky, more misleading, more hypocritical, and therefore more likely to confuse and trick the smarter voters.
When Barrington got round to the back of the platform, he found the man with the scarred face standing alone and gloomily silent in the shadow. Barrington gave him one of the Socialist leaflets, which he took, and after glancing at it, put it in his coat pocket without making any remark.
When Barrington reached the back of the platform, he saw the man with the scarred face standing by himself, quietly brooding in the shadows. Barrington handed him one of the Socialist leaflets, which the man accepted, briefly looked at, and then tucked into his coat pocket without saying a word.
“I hope you’ll excuse me for asking, but were you not formerly a Socialist?” said Barrington.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but weren’t you a Socialist before?” said Barrington.
Even in the semi-darkness Barrington saw the other man flush deeply and then become very pale, and the unsightly scar upon his forehead showed with ghastly distinctiveness.
Even in the dim light, Barrington noticed the other man turn red, then go pale, and the ugly scar on his forehead stood out in a chillingly clear way.
“I am still a Socialist: no man who has once been a Socialist can ever cease to be one.”
“I am still a Socialist: no one who has ever been a Socialist can stop being one.”
“You seem to have accomplished that impossibility, to judge by the work you are at present engaged in. You must have changed your opinions since you were here last.”
“You seem to have achieved that impossible task, judging by the work you’re currently doing. You must have changed your mind since you were last here.”
“No one who has been a Socialist can ever cease to be one. It is impossible for a man who has once acquired knowledge ever to relinquish it. A Socialist is one who understands the causes of the misery and degradation we see all around us; who knows the only remedy, and knows that that remedy—the state of society that will be called Socialism—must eventually be adopted; is the only alternative to the extermination of the majority of the working people; but it does not follow that everyone who has sense enough to acquire that amount of knowledge, must, in addition, be willing to sacrifice himself in order to help to bring that state of society into being. When I first acquired that knowledge,” he continued, bitterly, “I was eager to tell the good news to others. I sacrificed my time, my money, and my health in order that I might teach others what I had learned myself. I did it willingly and happily, because I thought they would be glad to hear, and that they were worth the sacrifices I made for their sakes. But I know better now.”
“No one who has been a Socialist can ever stop being one. It’s impossible for someone who has gained knowledge to give it up. A Socialist is someone who understands the reasons for the suffering and degradation all around us; who knows the only solution, and understands that solution—the society that will be called Socialism—must eventually be accepted; it’s the only alternative to the destruction of most working people. However, that doesn’t mean everyone who is smart enough to gain that knowledge must also be willing to sacrifice themselves to help create that society. When I first gained that knowledge,” he continued, bitterly, “I was eager to share the good news with others. I sacrificed my time, my money, and my health to teach others what I had learned. I did it willingly and happily because I thought they would appreciate it and that they were worth the sacrifices I made for them. But I know better now.”
“Even if you no longer believe in working for Socialism, there’s no need to work AGAINST it. If you are not disposed to sacrifice yourself in order to do good to others, you might at least refrain from doing evil. If you don’t want to help to bring about a better state of affairs, there’s no reason why you should help to perpetuate the present system.”
“Even if you no longer believe in working for socialism, there’s no need to work against it. If you aren’t willing to sacrifice for the good of others, you could at least avoid doing harm. If you don’t want to help create a better situation, there’s no reason to support the current system.”
The other man laughed bitterly. “Oh yes, there is, and a very good reason too.”
The other man laughed harshly. “Oh yes, there is, and a really good reason for it too.”
“I don’t think you could show me a reason,” said Barrington.
“I don’t think you can give me a reason,” Barrington said.
The man with the scar laughed again, the same unpleasant, mirthless laugh, and thrusting his hand into his trouser pocket drew it out again full of silver coins, amongst which one or two gold pieces glittered.
The man with the scar laughed again, the same unpleasant, humorless laugh, and thrusting his hand into his pants pocket pulled it out again full of silver coins, among which one or two gold pieces shone.
“That is my reason. When I devoted my life and what abilities I possess to the service of my fellow workmen; when I sought to teach them how to break their chains; when I tried to show them how they might save their children from poverty and shameful servitude, I did not want them to give me money. I did it for love. And they paid me with hatred and injury. But since I have been helping their masters to rob them, they have treated me with respect.”
“That’s my reason. When I dedicated my life and the skills I have to help my fellow workers; when I tried to teach them how to break free from their chains; when I worked to show them how to save their children from poverty and disgraceful servitude, I didn’t want them to pay me. I did it out of love. And they responded with hatred and harm. But since I’ve been assisting their bosses in taking from them, they’ve treated me with respect.”
Barrington made no reply and the other man, having returned the money to his pocket, indicated the crowd with a sweep of his hand.
Barrington didn't respond, and the other man, after putting the money back in his pocket, gestured towards the crowd with a wave of his hand.
“Look at them!” he continued with a contemptuous laugh. “Look at them! the people you are trying to make idealists of! Look at them! Some of them howling and roaring like wild beasts, or laughing like idiots, others standing with dull and stupid faces devoid of any trace of intelligence or expression, listening to the speakers whose words convey no meaning to their stultified minds, and others with their eyes gleaming with savage hatred of their fellow men, watching eagerly for an opportunity to provoke a quarrel that they may gratify their brutal natures by striking someone—their eyes are hungry for the sight of blood! Can’t you see that these people, whom you are trying to make understand your plan for the regeneration of the world, your doctrine of universal brotherhood and love are for the most part—intellectually—on a level with Hottentots? The only things they feel any real interest in are beer, football, betting and—of course—one other subject. Their highest ambition is to be allowed to Work. And they desire nothing better for their children!
“Look at them!” he continued with a scornful laugh. “Look at them! the people you’re trying to turn into idealists! Look at them! Some of them howling and roaring like wild animals, or laughing like fools, others standing there with blank and stupid faces, completely lacking any sign of intelligence or expression, listening to the speakers whose words mean nothing to their dull minds, and others with their eyes shining with fierce hatred for their fellow humans, eagerly waiting for a chance to start a fight so they can indulge their brutal instincts by hitting someone—their eyes are hungry for the sight of blood! Can’t you see that these people, whom you’re trying to make understand your plan for fixing the world, your ideas of universal brotherhood and love, are for the most part—intellectually—on a level with Hottentots? The only things they actually care about are beer, football, gambling and—of course—one other topic. Their biggest dream is to be allowed to Work. And they want nothing more for their children!
“They have never had an independent thought in their lives. These are the people whom you hope to inspire with lofty ideals! You might just as well try to make a gold brooch out of a lump of dung! Try to reason with them, to uplift them, to teach them the way to higher things. Devote your whole life and intelligence to the work of trying to get better conditions for them, and you will find that they themselves are the enemy you will have to fight against. They’ll hate you, and, if they get the chance, they’ll tear you to pieces. But if you’re a sensible man you’ll use whatever talents and intelligence you possess for your own benefit. Don’t think about Socialism or any other ‘ism’. Concentrate your mind on getting money—it doesn’t matter how you get it, but—get it. If you can’t get it honestly, get it dishonestly, but get it! it is the only thing that counts. Do as I do—rob them! exploit them! and then they’ll have some respect for you.”
“They’ve never had an independent thought in their lives. These are the people you hope to inspire with grand ideals! You might as well try to turn a lump of crap into a gold brooch! Try to reason with them, uplift them, teach them about better things. Devote your entire life and intelligence to getting them better conditions, and you’ll find that they themselves are the enemy you’ll have to fight against. They’ll hate you, and if they get the chance, they’ll tear you apart. But if you’re sensible, you’ll use whatever talents and intelligence you have for your own benefit. Don’t worry about Socialism or any other ‘ism.’ Focus on getting money—it doesn’t matter how, just get it. If you can’t get it honestly, get it dishonestly, but get it! It’s the only thing that matters. Do as I do—take from them! exploit them! and then they’ll have some respect for you.”
“There’s something in what you say,” replied Barrington, after a long pause, “but it’s not all. Circumstances make us what we are; and anyhow, the children are worth fighting for.”
“There’s some truth in what you’re saying,” Barrington replied after a long pause, “but it’s not the whole picture. Our circumstances shape who we are; and besides, the kids are worth fighting for.”
“You may think so now,” said the other, “but you’ll come to see it my way some day. As for the children—if their parents are satisfied to let them grow up to be half-starved drudges for other people, I don’t see why you or I need trouble about it. If you like to listen to reason,” he continued after a pause, “I can put you on to something that will be worth more to you than all your Socialism.”
“You might think that now,” said the other, “but you’ll eventually see it my way. As for the kids—if their parents are okay with them growing up to be overworked and underfed for others, I don’t see why it should concern either of us. If you're open to hearing reason,” he continued after a pause, “I can share something with you that will be more valuable than all your Socialism.”
“What do you mean?”
"What do you mean?"
“Look here: you’re a Socialist; well, I’m a Socialist too: that is, I have sense enough to believe that Socialism is practical and inevitable and right; it will come when the majority of the people are sufficiently enlightened to demand it, but that enlightenment will never be brought about by reasoning or arguing with them, for these people are simply not intellectually capable of abstract reasoning—they can’t grasp theories. You know what the late Lord Salisbury said about them when somebody proposed to give them some free libraries: He said: ‘They don’t want libraries: give them a circus.’ You see these Liberals and Tories understand the sort of people they have to deal with; they know that although their bodies are the bodies of grown men, their minds are the minds of little children. That is why it has been possible to deceive and bluff and rob them for so long. But your party persists in regarding them as rational beings, and that’s where you make a mistake—you’re simply wasting your time.
“Look here: you’re a Socialist; well, I’m a Socialist too. I believe that Socialism is practical, inevitable, and right. It will come when the majority of the people are enlightened enough to demand it, but that enlightenment won’t come from reasoning or arguing with them, because these people just can’t handle abstract reasoning—they can’t understand theories. Remember what the late Lord Salisbury said when someone suggested giving them free libraries? He said, ‘They don’t want libraries: give them a circus.’ You see, these Liberals and Tories know the kind of people they’re dealing with; they understand that even though their bodies are those of grown adults, their minds are like those of little children. That’s why it’s been easy to deceive, bluff, and exploit them for so long. But your party keeps treating them as rational beings, and that’s where you’re going wrong—you’re just wasting your time.”
“The only way in which it is possible to teach these people is by means of object lessons, and those are being placed before them in increasing numbers every day. The trustification of industry—the object lesson which demonstrates the possibility of collective ownership—will in time compel even these to understand, and by the time they have learnt that, they will also have learned by bitter experience and not from theoretical teaching, that they must either own the trusts or perish, and then, and not till then, they will achieve Socialism. But meanwhile we have this election. Do you think it will make any real difference—for good or evil—which of these two men is elected?”
“The only way to teach these people is through object lessons, and more of them are being shown every day. The merging of industries—the object lesson that shows the possibility of collective ownership—will eventually make even they understand. By the time they figure that out, they will have also learned through tough experience, not just from theory, that they must either own the trusts or face extinction, and only then will they achieve socialism. But for now, we have this election. Do you think it will truly matter—positively or negatively—who of these two men is elected?”
“No.”
“No.”
“Well, you can’t keep them both out—you have no candidate of your own—why should you object to earning a few pounds by helping one of them to get in? There are plenty of voters who are doubtful what to do; as you and I know there is every excuse for them being unable to make up their minds which of these two candidates is the worse, a word from your party would decide them. Since you have no candidate of your own you will be doing no harm to Socialism and you will be doing yourself a bit of good. If you like to come along with me now, I’ll introduce you to Sweater’s agent—no one need know anything about it.”
“Well, you can’t keep both of them out—you don’t have a candidate of your own—so why should you care about making a little money by helping one of them get elected? There are a lot of voters who are unsure about what to do; as you and I know, there are plenty of reasons for them to struggle with deciding which of these two candidates is worse, a word from your party would sway them. Since you don’t have your own candidate, you won’t harm Socialism, and you’ll be doing yourself a favor. If you want to come with me now, I can introduce you to Sweater’s agent—no one has to know anything about it.”
He slipped his arm through Barrington’s, but the latter released himself.
He linked his arm with Barrington's, but Barrington pulled away.
“Please yourself,” said the other with an affectation of indifference. “You know your own business best. You may choose to be a Jesus Christ if you like, but for my part I’m finished. For the future I intend to look after myself. As for these people—they vote for what they want; they get—what they vote for; and by God, they deserve nothing better! They are being beaten with whips of their own choosing and if I had my way they should be chastised with scorpions! For them, the present system means joyless drudgery, semi-starvation, rags and premature death. They vote for it all and uphold it. Well, let them have what they vote for—let them drudge—let them starve!”
“Do what you want,” the other replied, pretending to be indifferent. “You know your own business best. You can choose to be a Jesus Christ if that’s what you want
The man with the scarred face ceased speaking, and for some moments Barrington did not reply.
The man with the scarred face stopped talking, and for a few moments, Barrington didn’t respond.
“I suppose there is some excuse for your feeling as you do,” he said slowly at last, “but it seems to me that you do not make enough allowance for the circumstances. From their infancy most of them have been taught by priests and parents to regard themselves and their own class with contempt—a sort of lower animals—and to regard those who possess wealth with veneration, as superior beings. The idea that they are really human creatures, naturally absolutely the same as their so-called betters, naturally equal in every way, naturally different from them only in those ways in which their so-called superiors differ from each other, and inferior to them only because they have been deprived of education, culture and opportunity—you know as well as I do that they have all been taught to regard that idea as preposterous.
“I guess there’s some reason for your feelings,” he said slowly at last, “but it seems to me that you don’t account enough for the circumstances. From a young age, most of them have been taught by priests and parents to look down on themselves and their own class—as if they’re a sort of lower animals—and to hold those with wealth in awe, as if they’re superior beings. The notion that they are actually human beings, just as equal as their so-called betters, truly equal in every way, and only different from them in the ways that their supposed superiors differ from each other, and inferior to them only because they lack education, culture, and opportunities—you know as well as I do that they’ve all been taught to see that idea as ridiculous.”
“The self-styled ‘Christian’ priests who say—with their tongues in their cheeks—that God is our Father and that all men are brethren, have succeeded in convincing the majority of the ‘brethren’ that it is their duty to be content in their degradation, and to order themselves lowly and reverently towards their masters. Your resentment should be directed against the deceivers, not against the dupes.”
“The so-called ‘Christian’ priests who jokingly say that God is our Father and that everyone is brothers have managed to convince most of their ‘brothers’ that it’s their obligation to accept their degradation and to behave humbly and respectfully towards their masters. You should direct your anger at the deceivers, not the fooled.”
The other man laughed bitterly.
The other man laughed cynically.
“Well, go and try to undeceive them,” he said, as he returned to the platform in response to a call from his associates. “Go and try to teach them that the Supreme Being made the earth and all its fullness for the use and benefit of all His children. Go and try to explain to them that they are poor in body and mind and social condition, not because of any natural inferiority, but because they have been robbed of their inheritance. Go and try to show them how to secure that inheritance for themselves and their children—and see how grateful they’ll be to you.”
“Well, go and try to convince them otherwise,” he said as he returned to the platform in response to a call from his colleagues. “Go and try to teach them that the Supreme Being created the earth and everything in it for the benefit of all His children. Go and try to explain to them that they are lacking in body, mind, and social status, not due to any natural inferiority, but because they have been stripped of their rightful inheritance. Go and try to show them how to claim that inheritance for themselves and their children—and see how grateful they’ll be to you.”
For the next hour Barrington walked about the crowded streets in a dispirited fashion. His conversation with the renegade seemed to have taken all the heart out of him. He still had a number of the leaflets, but the task of distributing them had suddenly grown distasteful and after a while he discontinued it. All his enthusiasm was gone. Like one awakened from a dream he saw the people who surrounded him in a different light. For the first time he properly appreciated the offensiveness of most of those to whom he offered the handbills; some, without even troubling to ascertain what they were about, rudely refused to accept them; some took them and after glancing at the printing, crushed them in their hands and ostentatiously threw them away. Others, who recognized him as a Socialist, angrily or contemptuously declined them, often with curses or injurious words.
For the next hour, Barrington wandered through the crowded streets feeling dejected. His conversation with the renegade had drained all of his energy. He still had a bunch of leaflets, but the idea of handing them out had suddenly become unappealing, and eventually, he stopped. All his enthusiasm had vanished. It was as if he had woken up from a dream, and he saw the people around him in a new way. For the first time, he really noticed how offensive most of those he offered the handbills to were; some, without even bothering to find out what they were about, rudely turned them down; others took them, glanced at the print, crushed them in their hands, and ostentatiously tossed them away. Still others, who recognized him as a Socialist, angrily or scornfully rejected them, often with insults or curses.
His attention was presently attracted to a crowd of about thirty or forty people, congregated near a gas lamp at the roadside. The sound of many angry voices rose from the centre of this group, and as he stood on the outskirts of the crowd, Barrington, being tall, was able to look into the centre, where he saw Owen. The light of the street lamp fell full upon the latter’s pale face, as he stood silent in the midst of a ring of infuriated men, who were all howling at him at once, and whose malignant faces bore expressions of savage hatred, as they shouted out the foolish accusations and slanders they had read in the Liberal and Tory papers.
His attention was quickly drawn to a crowd of about thirty or forty people gathered around a street lamp on the side of the road. The sound of many angry voices rose from the center of this group, and as he stood on the edge of the crowd, Barrington, being tall, was able to see into the middle, where he spotted Owen. The light from the street lamp illuminated Owen’s pale face as he stood quietly in the midst of a circle of furious men, all shouting at him at the same time, their twisted faces showing expressions of intense hatred as they hurled the ridiculous accusations and insults they had read in the Liberal and Tory newspapers.
Socialists wished to do away with religion and morality! to establish free love and atheism! All the money that the working classes had saved up in the Post Office and the Friendly Societies, was to be Robbed from them and divided up amongst a lot of drunken loafers who were too lazy to work. The King and all the Royal Family were to be Done Away with! and so on.
Socialists wanted to eliminate religion and morality! to promote free love and atheism! All the money that the working class had saved in the Post Office and Friendly Societies was to be taken from them and shared among a group of lazy drunks who were too idle to work. The King and the entire Royal Family were to be removed! and so on.
Owen made no attempt to reply, and the manner of the crowd became every moment more threatening. It was evident that several of them found it difficult to refrain from attacking him. It was a splendid opportunity of doing a little fighting without running any risks. This fellow was all by himself, and did not appear to be much of a man even at that. Those in the middle were encouraged by shouts from others in the crowd, who urged them to “Go for him” and at last—almost at the instant of Barrington’s arrival—one of the heroes, unable to contain himself any longer, lifted a heavy stick and struck Owen savagely across the face. The sight of the blood maddened the others, and in an instant everyone who could get within striking distance joined furiously in the onslaught, reaching eagerly over each other’s shoulders, showering blows upon him with sticks and fists, and before Barrington could reach his side, they had Owen down on the ground, and had begun to use their boots upon him.
Owen didn't try to respond, and the crowd's behavior grew more threatening by the moment. It was clear that several of them were struggling to hold back from attacking him. It was a perfect chance for some fighting without facing any real consequences. This guy was all alone and didn’t seem too tough, even then. Those in the center were egged on by shouts from others in the crowd, who encouraged them to “Go for him,” and finally—just as Barrington was arriving—one of the tough guys, unable to hold back any longer, picked up a heavy stick and swung it brutally across Owen's face. Seeing the blood drove the others wild, and in an instant, everyone who could reach him jumped into the attack, eagerly stretching over each other's shoulders and raining down blows with sticks and fists. Before Barrington could get to him, they had Owen on the ground and had started kicking him.
Barrington felt like a wild beast himself, as he fiercely fought his way through the crowd, spurning them to right and left with fists and elbows. He reached the centre in time to seize the uplifted arm of the man who had led the attack and wrenching the stick from his hand, he felled him to the ground with a single blow. The remainder shrank back, and meantime the crowd was augmented by others who came running up.
Barrington felt like a wild animal as he fought his way through the crowd, pushing people aside with his fists and elbows. He reached the center just in time to grab the raised arm of the man who had started the attack. Wrenching the stick from his hand, he brought him down to the ground with a single blow. The others shrank back, and meanwhile, the crowd grew as more people came running up.
Some of these newcomers were Liberals and some Tories, and as these did not know what the row was about they attacked each other. The Liberals went for those who wore Tory colours and vice versa, and in a few seconds there was a general free fight, though most of the original crowd ran away, and in the confusion that ended, Barrington and Owen got out of the crowd without further molestation.
Some of these newcomers were Liberals and some were Tories, and since they didn't know what the fight was about, they started attacking each other. The Liberals targeted those wearing Tory colors and vice versa, and within seconds, a full-on brawl broke out, although most of the original crowd scattered. In the chaos that followed, Barrington and Owen managed to escape from the crowd without any more trouble.
Monday was the last day of the election—polling day—and in consequence of the number of motor cars that were flying about, the streets were hardly safe for ordinary traffic. The wealthy persons who owned these carriages...
Monday was the last day of the election—polling day—and because of all the cars zooming around, the streets were barely safe for regular traffic. The rich people who owned these vehicles...
The result of the poll was to be shown on an illuminated sign at the Town Hall, at eleven o’clock that night, and long before that hour a vast crowd gathered in the adjacent streets. About ten o’clock it began to rain, but the crowd stood its ground and increased in numbers as the time went by. At a quarter to eleven the rain increased to a terrible downpour, but the people remained waiting to know which hero had conquered. Eleven o’clock came and an intense silence fell upon the crowd, whose eyes were fixed eagerly upon the window where the sign was to be exhibited. To judge by the extraordinary interest displayed by these people, one might have thought that they expected to reap some great benefit or to sustain some great loss from the result, but of course that was not the case, for most of them knew perfectly well that the result of this election would make no more real difference to them than all the other elections that had gone before.
The poll results were set to be displayed on a bright sign at the Town Hall at eleven o’clock that night, and long before that, a huge crowd gathered in the nearby streets. Around ten o’clock, it started to rain, but the crowd held its ground and grew in number as time passed. By a quarter to eleven, the rain turned into a heavy downpour, yet the people continued to wait to find out which hero had won. When eleven o’clock arrived, a deep silence fell over the crowd, their eyes eagerly fixed on the window where the sign was to be shown. Judging by the extraordinary interest of these people, one might think they expected to gain something significant or face a huge loss from the outcome, but that wasn't really the case—most of them understood that the result of this election would matter no more to them than all the previous elections.
They wondered what the figures would be. There were ten thousand voters on the register. At a quarter past eleven the sign was illuminated, but the figures were not yet shown. Next, the names of the two candidates were slid into sight, the figures were still missing, but D’Encloseland’s name was on top, and a hoarse roar of triumph came from the throats of his admirers. Then the two slides with the names were withdrawn, and the sign was again left blank. After a time the people began to murmur at all this delay and messing about, and presently some of them began to groan and hoot.
They were curious about what the numbers would be. There were ten thousand voters registered. At quarter past eleven, the sign lit up, but the numbers still hadn't appeared. Next, the names of the two candidates slid into view, but the numbers were still absent; D’Encloseland’s name was on top, and a loud cheer of victory erupted from his supporters. Then the two name slides were taken away, and the sign was blank again. After a while, people started to grumble about the delay and confusion, and soon, some began to boo and jeer.
After a few minutes the names were again slid into view, this time with Sweater’s name on top, and the figures appeared immediately afterwards:
After a few minutes, the names reappeared, this time with Sweater's name at the top, followed immediately by the figures:
Sweater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4,221
D’Encloseland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4,200
Sweater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4,221
D’Encloseland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4,200
It was several seconds before the Liberals could believe their eyes; it was too good to be true. It is impossible to say what was the reason of the wild outburst of delighted enthusiasm that followed, but whatever the reason, whatever the benefit was that they expected to reap—there was the fact. They were all cheering and dancing and shaking hands with each other, and some of them were so overcome with inexplicable joy that they were scarcely able to speak. It was altogether extraordinary and unaccountable.
It took the Liberals several seconds to believe what they were seeing; it felt too good to be true. It's hard to say what triggered the wild wave of happiness that followed, but whatever the reason and whatever benefits they anticipated—there it was. They were all cheering, dancing, and shaking hands with one another, and some were so overwhelmed with joy that they could hardly speak. It was truly remarkable and inexplicable.
A few minutes after the declaration, Sweater appeared at the window and made a sort of a speech, but only fragments of it were audible to the cheering crowd who at intervals caught such phrases as “Slashing Blow”, “Sweep the Country”, “Grand Old Liberal Flag”, and so on. Next D’Encloseland appeared and he was seen to shake hands with Mr Sweater, whom he referred to as “My friend”.
A few minutes after the announcement, Sweater showed up at the window and gave a sort of speech, but only bits of it were heard by the cheering crowd, which occasionally caught phrases like “Slashing Blow,” “Sweep the Country,” “Grand Old Liberal Flag,” and so on. Then D’Encloseland came out and he was seen shaking hands with Mr. Sweater, whom he called “My friend.”
When the two “friends” disappeared from the window, the part of the Liberal crowd that was not engaged in hand-to-hand fights with their enemies—the Tories—made a rush to the front entrance of the Town Hall, where Sweater’s carriage was waiting, and as soon as he had placed his plump rotundity inside, they took the horses out and amid frantic cheers harnessed themselves to it instead and dragged it through the mud and the pouring rain all the way to “The Cave”—most of them were accustomed to acting as beasts of burden—where he again addressed a few words to them from the porch.
When the two "friends" left the window, the part of the Liberal crowd that wasn't busy fighting the Tories rushed to the front entrance of the Town Hall, where Sweater's carriage was waiting. As soon as he got in, they pulled the horses out and, amidst wild cheers, hitched themselves to the carriage instead and dragged it through the mud and pouring rain all the way to "The Cave." Most of them were used to acting like pack animals, where he spoke a few words to them again from the porch.
Afterwards as they walked home saturated with rain and covered from head to foot with mud, they said it was a great victory for the cause of progress!
Afterwards, as they walked home drenched from the rain and covered head to toe in mud, they said it was a huge win for the cause of progress!
Truly the wolves have an easy prey.
Truly, the wolves have easy prey.
Chapter 49
The Undesired
That evening about seven o’clock, whilst Easton was down-town seeing the last of the election, Ruth’s child was born.
That evening around seven o’clock, while Easton was downtown wrapping up the election, Ruth’s baby was born.
After the doctor was gone, Mary Linden stayed with her during the hours that elapsed before Easton came home, and downstairs Elsie and Charley—who were allowed to stay up late to help their mother because Mrs Easton was ill—crept about very quietly, and conversed in hushed tones as they washed up the tea things and swept the floor and tidied the kitchen.
After the doctor left, Mary Linden stayed with her during the hours before Easton got home, and downstairs Elsie and Charley—who were allowed to stay up late to help their mom because Mrs. Easton was sick—tipped around quietly and talked in low voices as they cleaned up the tea things, swept the floor, and straightened the kitchen.
Easton did not return until after midnight, and all through the intervening hours, Ruth, weak and tired, but unable to sleep, was lying in bed with the child by her side. Her wide-open eyes appeared unnaturally large and brilliant, in contrast with the almost death-like paleness of her face, and there was a look of fear in them, as she waited and listened for the sound of Easton’s footsteps.
Easton didn't come back until after midnight, and during the long hours in between, Ruth, weak and exhausted but unable to sleep, lay in bed with the child beside her. Her wide-open eyes looked unnaturally large and bright, contrasting with the almost lifeless paleness of her face, and there was a look of fear in them as she waited and listened for the sound of Easton's footsteps.
Outside, the silence of the night was disturbed by many unusual noises: a far-off roar, as of the breaking of waves on a seashore, arose from the direction of the town, where the last scenes of the election were being enacted. Every few minutes motor cars rushed past the house at a furious rate, and the air was full of the sounds of distant shouts and singing.
Outside, the quiet of the night was broken by a lot of strange sounds: a distant roar, like the crashing of waves on a beach, came from the direction of the town, where the final moments of the election were unfolding. Every few minutes, cars zoomed past the house at high speed, and the air was filled with the sounds of distant cheers and singing.
Ruth listened and started nervously at every passing footstep. Those who can imagine the kind of expression there would be upon the face of a hunted thief, who, finding himself encompassed and brought to bay by his pursuers, looks wildly around in a vain search for some way of escape, may be able to form some conception of the terror-stricken way in which she listened to every sound that penetrated into the stillness of the dimly lighted room. And ever and again, when her wandering glance reverted to the frail atom of humanity nestling by her side, her brows contracted and her eyes filled with bitter tears, as she weakly reached out her trembling hand to adjust its coverings, faintly murmuring, with quivering lips and a bursting heart, some words of endearment and pity. And then—alarmed by the footsteps of some chance passerby, or by the closing of the door of a neighbouring house, and fearing that it was the sound she had been waiting for and dreading through all those weary hours, she would turn in terror to Mary Linden, sitting in the chair at the bedside, sewing by the light of the shaded lamp, and take hold of her arm as if seeking protection from some impending danger.
Ruth listened intently, flinching at every footstep that passed by. Anyone who can imagine the expression on a hunted thief’s face—surrounded and cornered by pursuers, desperately looking around for a way to escape—can grasp the sheer panic in the way she reacted to every sound that broke the silence of the dimly lit room. Periodically, when her wandering gaze fell back on the fragile life snuggled beside her, her brows would knit together and tears would well up in her eyes. Weakly, she would reach out her trembling hand to adjust the covers, murmuring soft words of love and sympathy through quivering lips and a breaking heart. Then, startled by the footsteps of a random passerby or the closing door of a nearby house, fearing it was the sound she had been dreading all those long hours, she would turn in fright to Mary Linden, who was sitting in the chair by the bedside, sewing under the light of the shaded lamp. Ruth would grip her arm, seeking comfort from some impending threat.
It was after twelve o’clock when Easton came home. Ruth recognized his footsteps before he reached the house, and her heart seemed to stop beating when she heard the clang of the gate, as it closed after he had passed through.
It was after twelve o'clock when Easton got home. Ruth recognized his footsteps before he reached the house, and her heart seemed to stop when she heard the clang of the gate as it closed after he passed through.
It had been Mary’s intention to withdraw before he came into the room, but the sick woman clung to her in such evident fear, and entreated her so earnestly not to go away, that she remained.
It was Mary’s intention to leave before he entered the room, but the sick woman held onto her with such clear fear and begged her so sincerely not to leave that she stayed.
It was with a feeling of keen disappointment that Easton noticed how Ruth shrank away from him, for he had expected and hoped, that after this, they would be good friends once more; but he tried to think that it was because she was ill, and when she would not let him touch the child lest he should awaken it, he agreed without question.
It was with a deep sense of disappointment that Easton saw how Ruth pulled away from him, as he had hoped that after this, they would be good friends again. But he tried to convince himself it was because she was unwell, and when she wouldn’t let him touch the child for fear of waking it, he accepted her wishes without hesitation.
The next day, and for the greater part of the time during the next fortnight, Ruth was in a raging fever. There were intervals when although weak and exhausted, she was in her right mind, but most of the time she was quite unconscious of her surroundings and often delirious. Mrs Owen came every day to help to look after her, because Mary just then had a lot of needlework to do, and consequently could only give part of her time to Ruth, who, in her delirium, lived and told over and over again all the sorrow and suffering of the last few months. And so the two friends, watching by her bedside, learned her dreadful secret.
The next day, and for most of the following two weeks, Ruth was burning with fever. There were moments when, although weak and drained, she was aware of her surroundings, but for the most part, she was completely unaware and often in a delirious state. Mrs. Owen came every day to help care for her, since Mary had a lot of sewing to finish and could only spare some time for Ruth, who, in her delirium, kept reliving and recounting all the pain and suffering from the last few months. In this way, the two friends, sitting by her bedside, discovered her terrible secret.
Sometimes—in her delirium—she seemed possessed of an intense and terrible loathing for the poor little creature she had brought into the world, and was with difficulty prevented from doing it violence. Once she seized it cruelly and threw it fiercely from her to the foot of the bed, as if it had been some poisonous or loathsome thing. And so it often became necessary to take the child away out of the room, so that she could not see or hear it, but when her senses came back to her, her first thought was for the child, and there must have been in her mind some faint recollection of what she had said and done in her madness, for when she saw that the baby was not in its accustomed place her distress and alarm were painful to see, as she entreated them with tears to give it back to her. And then she would kiss and fondle it with all manner of endearing words, and cry bitterly.
Sometimes—in her delirium—she seemed filled with an intense and terrible hatred for the poor little creature she had brought into the world, and she had to be restrained from harming it. Once, she cruelly grabbed it and threw it fiercely from her to the foot of the bed, as if it were some poisonous or disgusting thing. It often became necessary to take the child out of the room so that she couldn’t see or hear it, but when her senses returned, her first thought was for the child, and she must have had some vague memory of what she had said and done in her madness. When she saw that the baby was not in its usual spot, her distress and panic were painful to witness, as she pleaded with tears for them to bring it back to her. Then she would kiss and cuddle it with all sorts of affectionate words and cry bitterly.
Easton did not see or hear most of this; he only knew that she was very ill; for he went out every day on the almost hopeless quest for work. Rushton’s had next to nothing to do, and most of the other shops were in a similar plight. Dauber and Botchit had one or two jobs going on, and Easton tried several times to get a start for them, but was always told they were full up. The sweating methods of this firm continued to form a favourite topic of conversation with the unemployed workmen, who railed at and cursed them horribly. It had leaked out that they were paying only sixpence an hour to most of the skilled workmen in their employment, and even then the conditions under which they worked were, if possible, worse than those obtaining at most other firms. The men were treated like so many convicts, and every job was a hell where driving and bullying reigned supreme, and obscene curses and blasphemy polluted the air from morning till night. The resentment of those who were out of work was directed, not only against the heads of the firm, but also against the miserable, half-starved drudges in their employment. These poor wretches were denounced as “scabs” and “wastrels” by the unemployed workmen but all the same, whenever Dauber and Botchit wanted some extra hands they never had any difficulty in obtaining them, and it often happened that those who had been loudest and bitterest in their denunciations were amongst the first to rush off eagerly to apply there for a job whenever there was a chance of getting one.
Easton didn’t see or hear most of this; he just knew that she was very sick, because he went out every day on the nearly pointless hunt for work. Rushton’s had almost nothing available, and most of the other shops were in the same situation. Dauber and Botchit had a job or two happening, and Easton tried several times to get on with them but was always told they were fully staffed. The harsh practices of this company continued to be a favorite topic of conversation among the unemployed workers, who complained and cursed them fiercely. It got out that they were paying only sixpence an hour to most of the skilled workers they employed, and even then, the working conditions were, if anything, worse than at most other companies. The men were treated like criminals, and every job felt like a hell where pressure and bullying ruled, with foul curses and blasphemy filling the air from morning to night. The anger of those without work was directed not only at the company leaders but also at the miserable, half-starved workers in their employ. These poor souls were called “scabs” and “wastrels” by the unemployed, yet whenever Dauber and Botchit needed extra hands, they had no trouble finding them, and it often happened that those who had been the loudest and most bitter in their criticism were among the first to rush off eagerly to apply for a job there whenever there was a chance of getting one.
Frequently the light was seen burning late at night in Rushton’s office, where Nimrod and his master were figuring out prices and writing out estimates, cutting down the amounts to the lowest possible point in the hope of underbidding their rivals. Now and then they were successful but whether they secured the work or not, Nimrod always appeared equally miserable. If they got the “job” it often showed such a small margin of profit that Rushton used to grumble at him and suggest mismanagement. If their estimates were too high and they lost the work, he used to demand of Nimrod why it was possible for Dauber and Botchit to do work so much more cheaply.
Often, the light could be seen shining late at night in Rushton’s office, where Nimrod and his boss were calculating prices and writing up estimates, cutting them down to the bare minimum in hopes of underbidding their competitors. Sometimes they were successful, but regardless of whether they won the job or not, Nimrod always seemed just as unhappy. If they landed the project, it usually had such a slim profit margin that Rushton would complain to him and suggest that they were mismanaging things. If their estimates were too high and they lost the job, he would ask Nimrod why Dauber and Botchit could do the work for so much less.
As the unemployed workmen stood in groups at the corners or walked aimlessly about the streets, they often saw Hunter pass by on his bicycle, looking worried and harassed. He was such a picture of misery, that it began to be rumoured amongst the men, that he had never been the same since the time he had that fall off the bike; and some of them declared, that they wouldn’t mind betting that ole Misery would finish up by going off his bloody rocker.
As the unemployed workers gathered in groups at the corners or wandered aimlessly through the streets, they often saw Hunter ride by on his bicycle, looking stressed and overwhelmed. He looked so miserable that rumors started to spread among the men that he had never been the same since he fell off the bike; some of them even said they wouldn’t be surprised if old Misery ended up losing his mind.
At intervals—whenever a job came in—Owen, Crass, Slyme, Sawkins and one or two others, continued to be employed at Rushton’s, but they seldom managed to make more than two or three days a week, even when there was anything to do.
At times—whenever a job came in—Owen, Crass, Slyme, Sawkins, and a couple of others kept getting work at Rushton’s, but they rarely managed to get more than two or three days a week, even when there was something to do.
Chapter 50
Sundered
During the next few weeks Ruth continued very ill. Although the delirium had left her and did not return, her manner was still very strange, and it was remarkable that she slept but little and at long intervals. Mrs Owen came to look after her every day, not going back to her own home till the evening. Frankie used to call for her as he came out of school and then they used to go home together, taking little Freddie Easton with them also, for his own mother was not able to look after him and Mary Linden had so much other work to do.
During the next few weeks, Ruth remained very sick. Even though the delirium was gone and didn’t come back, her behavior was still quite odd, and it was noteworthy that she slept very little and only at long intervals. Mrs. Owen came to take care of her every day, not returning to her own home until the evening. Frankie would pick her up after school, and then they would head home together, bringing little Freddie Easton along, since his own mother couldn’t take care of him and Mary Linden had too much other work to do.
On Wednesday evening, when the child was about five weeks old, as Mrs Owen was wishing her good night, Ruth took hold of her hand and after saying how grateful she was for all that she had done, she asked whether—supposing anything happened to herself—Nora would promise to take charge of Freddie for Easton. Owen’s wife gave the required promise, at the same time affecting to regard the supposition as altogether unlikely, and assuring her that she would soon be better, but she secretly wondered why Ruth had not mentioned the other child as well.
On Wednesday evening, when the baby was about five weeks old, as Mrs. Owen was saying goodnight, Ruth grabbed her hand and, after expressing her gratitude for everything she had done, she asked if, in case something happened to her, Nora would promise to look after Freddie for Easton. Owen’s wife made the promise, pretending to think that the idea was completely unlikely, and assured her that she would be better soon, but she secretly wondered why Ruth hadn’t mentioned the other child too.
Nora went away about five o’clock, leaving Ruth’s bedroom door open so that Mrs Linden could hear her call if she needed anything. About a quarter of an hour after Nora and the two children had gone, Mary Linden went upstairs to see Ruth, who appeared to have fallen fast asleep; so she returned to her needlework downstairs. The weather had been very cloudy all day, there had been rain at intervals and it was a dark evening, so dark that she had to light the lamp to see her work. Charley sat on the hearthrug in front of the fire repairing one of the wheels of a wooden cart that he had made with the assistance of another boy, and Elsie busied herself preparing the tea.
Nora left around five o’clock, leaving Ruth’s bedroom door open so Mrs. Linden could hear her if she needed anything. About fifteen minutes after Nora and the two kids had gone, Mary Linden went upstairs to check on Ruth, who seemed to be fast asleep, so she went back downstairs to her sewing. The weather had been very cloudy all day, with rain at times, and it was a dark evening, so dark that she had to light the lamp to see her work. Charley sat on the hearth rug in front of the fire fixing one of the wheels of a wooden cart he had made with another boy, while Elsie kept herself busy making tea.
Easton was not yet home; Rushton & Co. had a few jobs to do and he had been at work since the previous Thursday. The place where he was working was some considerable distance away, so it was nearly half past six when he came home. They heard him at the gate and at her mother’s direction Elsie went quickly to the front door, which was ajar, to ask him to walk as quietly as possible so as not to wake Ruth.
Easton wasn't home yet; Rushton & Co. had a few tasks to finish, and he had been working since last Thursday. The site he was at was quite a distance away, so it was nearly 6:30 when he finally got home. They heard him at the gate, and following her mother's instructions, Elsie quickly went to the front door, which was slightly open, to ask him to be as quiet as possible so he wouldn't wake Ruth.
Mary had prepared the table for his tea in the kitchen, where there was a bright fire with the kettle singing on the hob. He lit the lamp and after removing his hat and overcoat, put the kettle on the fire and while he was waiting for it to boil he went softly upstairs. There was no lamp burning in the bedroom and the place would have been in utter darkness but for the red glow of the fire, which did not dispel the prevailing obscurity sufficiently to enable him to discern the different objects in the room distinctly. The intense silence that reigned struck him with a sudden terror. He crossed swiftly over to the bed and a moment’s examination sufficed to tell him that it was empty. He called her name, but there was no answer, and a hurried search only made it certain that she was nowhere in the house.
Mary had set the table for his tea in the kitchen, where a bright fire burned and the kettle was whistling on the stove. He lit the lamp and, after taking off his hat and coat, placed the kettle on the fire. While waiting for it to boil, he quietly went upstairs. There was no lamp on in the bedroom, and the room would have been completely dark if not for the red glow from the fire, which didn’t quite light up enough for him to clearly make out the different objects in the room. The heavy silence made him feel a sudden chill. He quickly walked over to the bed, and a quick glance was enough to tell him it was empty. He called her name, but there was no response, and a frantic search only confirmed that she wasn’t anywhere in the house.
Mrs Linden now remembered what Owen’s wife had told her of the strange request that Ruth had made, and as she recounted it to Easton, his fears became intensified a thousandfold. He was unable to form any opinion of the reason of her going or of where she had gone, as he rushed out to seek for her. Almost unconsciously he directed his steps to Owen’s house, and afterwards the two men went to every place where they thought it possible she might have gone, but without finding any trace of her.
Mrs. Linden now recalled what Owen’s wife had shared about Ruth's unusual request, and as she told Easton, his worries grew exponentially. He couldn’t figure out why she had left or where she might be, and he quickly rushed out to look for her. Almost instinctively, he made his way to Owen’s house, and afterward, the two men searched everywhere they thought she could have gone, but they found no sign of her.
Her father lived a short distance outside the town, and this was one of the first places they went to, although Easton did not think it likely she would go there, for she had not been on friendly terms with her stepmother, and as he had anticipated, it was a fruitless journey.
Her father lived just outside the town, and this was one of the first places they visited, although Easton didn’t think she would actually go there since she hadn’t had a good relationship with her stepmother. As he had expected, it turned out to be a wasted trip.
They sought for her in every conceivable place, returning often to Easton’s house to see if she had come home, but they found no trace of her, nor met anyone who had seen her, which was, perhaps, because the dreary, rain-washed streets were deserted by all except those whose business compelled them to be out.
They looked for her everywhere they could think of, often returning to Easton’s house to check if she had come back, but they found no sign of her and didn’t run into anyone who had seen her. This was probably because the gloomy, rain-soaked streets were empty, except for those whose work forced them to be out.
About eleven o’clock Nora was standing at the front door waiting for Owen and Easton, when she thought she could discern a woman’s figure in the shadow of the piers of the gate opposite. It was an unoccupied house with a garden in front, and the outlines of the bushes it contained were so vague in the darkness that it was impossible to be certain; but the longer she looked the more convinced she became that there was someone there. At last she summoned sufficient courage to cross over the road, and as she nervously drew near the gate it became evident that she had not been mistaken. There was a woman standing there—a woman with a child in her arms, leaning against one of the pillars and holding the iron bars of the gate with her left hand. It was Ruth. Nora recognized her even in the semi-darkness. Her attitude was one of extreme exhaustion, and as Nora touched her, she perceived that she was wet through and trembling; but although she was almost fainting with fatigue she would not consent to go indoors until repeatedly assured that Easton was not there, and that Nora would not let him see her if he came. And when at length she yielded and went into the house she would not sit down or take off her hat or jacket until—crouching on the floor beside Nora’s chair with her face hidden in the latter’s lap—she had sobbed out her pitiful confession, the same things that she had unwittingly told to the same hearer so often before during the illness, the only fact that was new was the account of her wanderings that night.
About eleven o’clock, Nora was standing at the front door waiting for Owen and Easton when she thought she saw a woman’s figure in the shadow of the gate across the street. It was an empty house with a garden in front, and the outlines of the bushes were so faint in the dark that she couldn't be sure; but the longer she stared, the more convinced she became that someone was there. Finally, she gathered enough courage to cross the street, and as she nervously approached the gate, it became clear that she hadn’t been mistaken. There was a woman standing there—a woman with a child in her arms, leaning against one of the pillars and holding onto the iron bars of the gate with her left hand. It was Ruth. Nora recognized her even in the dim light. Her posture showed extreme fatigue, and as Nora touched her, she realized that Ruth was soaked and shivering; but even though she was nearly fainting from exhaustion, she refused to go inside until she was repeatedly assured that Easton wasn’t there and that Nora wouldn’t let him see her if he came. When she finally agreed to enter the house, she wouldn’t sit down or remove her hat or jacket until—crouching on the floor beside Nora’s chair with her face buried in Nora's lap—she had sobbed out her heartbreaking confession, the same things she had unknowingly shared with the same listener numerous times before during her illness, with the only new detail being the story of her wanderings that night.
She cried so bitterly and looked so forlorn and heartbroken and ashamed as she faltered out her woeful story; so consumed with self-condemnation, making no excuse for herself except to repeat over and over again that she had never meant to do wrong, that Nora could not refrain from weeping also as she listened.
She cried so hard and looked so sad, heartbroken, and ashamed as she stumbled through her heartbreaking story; so filled with self-blame, making no excuses for herself except to keep saying that she never meant to do anything wrong, that Nora couldn't help but cry too as she listened.
It appeared that, unable to bear the reproach that Easton’s presence seemed to imply, or to endure the burden of her secret any longer, and always haunted by the thought of the lake in the park, Ruth had formed the dreadful resolution of taking her own life and the child’s. When she arrived at the park gates they were closed and locked for the night but she remembered that there was another means of entering—the place at the far end of the valley where the park was not fenced in, so she had gone there—nearly three miles—only to find that railings had recently been erected and therefore it was no longer possible to get into the park by that way. And then, when she found it impossible to put her resolve into practice, she had realized for the first time the folly and wickedness of the act she had meant to commit. But although she had abandoned her first intention, she said she could never go home again; she would take a room somewhere and get some work to do, or perhaps she might be able to get a situation where they would allow her to have the child with her, or failing that she would work and pay someone to look after it; but she could never go home any more. If she only had somewhere to stay for a few days until she could get something to do, she was sure she would be able to earn her living, but she could not go back home; she felt that she would rather walk about the streets all night than go there again.
It seemed that, unable to handle the shame that Easton's presence brought, or to carry the weight of her secret any longer, and constantly thinking about the lake in the park, Ruth had made the terrible decision to end her own life and that of her child. When she reached the park gates, they were closed and locked for the night, but she remembered another way in—the spot at the far end of the valley where the park wasn't fenced off. She walked nearly three miles only to find that new railings had been put up, making it impossible to enter the park that way. When she realized she couldn't go through with her plan, she finally understood the foolishness and wrongness of what she had intended to do. Even though she had given up on her initial plan, she thought she could never go home again; she would find a room somewhere and get some work, or perhaps she could find a job that would let her keep her child with her. If not, she would work to pay someone to take care of it. But she couldn't return home. If only she had somewhere to stay for a few days until she found work, she was sure she could manage on her own. However, she couldn't go back home; she felt she would rather wander the streets all night than return there.
It was arranged that Ruth should have the small apartment which had been Frankie’s playroom, the necessary furniture being obtained from a second-hand shop close by. Easton did not learn the real reason of her flight until three days afterwards. At first he attributed it to a recurrence of the mental disorder that she had suffered from after the birth of the child, and he had been glad to leave her at Owen’s place in Nora’s care, but on the evening of the third day when he returned home from work, he found a letter in Ruth’s handwriting which told him all there was to tell.
It was decided that Ruth would take the small apartment that had been Frankie’s playroom, with the necessary furniture coming from a nearby thrift shop. Easton didn’t find out the real reason for her departure until three days later. Initially, he thought it was a relapse of the mental issues she had experienced after giving birth to their child, and he had been relieved to leave her in Owen’s care, with Nora looking after her. However, on the evening of the third day, when he came home from work, he found a letter in Ruth’s handwriting that explained everything.
When he recovered from the stupefaction into which he was thrown by the perusal of this letter, his first thought was to seek out Slyme, but he found upon inquiring that the latter had left the town the previous morning. Slyme’s landlady said he had told her that he had been offered several months’ work in London, which he had accepted. The truth was that Slyme had heard of Ruth’s flight—nearly everyone knew about it as a result of the inquiries that had been made for her—and, guessing the cause, he had prudently cleared out.
When he recovered from the shock of reading the letter, his first thought was to find Slyme, but he discovered that Slyme had left town the day before. Slyme’s landlady said he had mentioned that he’d been offered several months’ work in London, which he accepted. The truth was that Slyme had heard about Ruth’s escape—almost everyone knew due to the search efforts for her—and, sensing what was happening, he had wisely gotten out of town.
Easton made no attempt to see Ruth, but he went to Owen’s and took Freddie away, saying he would pay Mrs Linden to look after the child whilst he was at work. His manner was that of a deeply injured man—the possibility that he was in any way to blame for what had happened did not seem to occur to his mind at all.
Easton didn't try to see Ruth, but he went to Owen's and took Freddie with him, saying he would pay Mrs. Linden to watch the kid while he was at work. He acted like a man who had been seriously wronged—the idea that he could be at fault for what happened didn't seem to cross his mind at all.
As for Ruth she made no resistance to his taking the child away from her, although she cried about it in secret. She got some work a few days afterwards—helping the servants at one of the large boarding-houses on the Grand Parade.
As for Ruth, she didn't fight him when he took the child away, even though she secretly cried about it. A few days later, she found some work helping the staff at one of the big boarding houses on the Grand Parade.
Nora looked after the baby for her while she was at work, an arrangement that pleased Frankie vastly; he said it was almost as good as having a baby of their very own.
Nora took care of the baby for her while she was at work, which made Frankie really happy; he said it was almost like having a baby of their own.
For the first few weeks after Ruth went away Easton tried to persuade himself that he did not very much regret what had happened. Mrs Linden looked after Freddie, and Easton tried to believe that he would really be better off now that he had only himself and the child to provide for.
For the first few weeks after Ruth left, Easton tried to convince himself that he didn't regret what had happened much. Mrs. Linden took care of Freddie, and Easton tried to believe that he would be better off now that he only had himself and the child to support.
At first, whenever he happened to meet Owen, they used to speak of Ruth, or to be more correct, Easton used to speak of her; but one day when the two men were working together Owen had expressed himself rather offensively. He seemed to think that Easton was more to blame than she was; and afterwards they avoided the subject, although Easton found it difficult to avoid the thoughts the other man’s words suggested.
At first, whenever he ran into Owen, they would talk about Ruth, or to be more accurate, Easton would talk about her; but one day when the two men were working together, Owen said something quite offensive. He seemed to believe that Easton was more at fault than she was; after that, they steered clear of the topic, even though Easton struggled to shake off the thoughts that Owen's words brought up.
Now and then he heard of Ruth and learnt that she was still working at the same place; and once he met her suddenly and unexpectedly in the street. They passed each other hurriedly and he did not see the scarlet flush that for an instant dyed her face, nor the deathly pallor that succeeded it.
Now and then he heard about Ruth and found out she was still working at the same place; and once he ran into her unexpectedly on the street. They rushed past each other, and he didn't notice the flash of red that briefly colored her face, nor the deathly pale look that followed it.
He never went to Owen’s place or sent any communication to Ruth, nor did she ever send him any; but although Easton did not know it she frequently saw Freddie, for when Elsie Linden took the child out she often called to see Mrs Owen.
He never visited Owen's house or reached out to Ruth, and she never reached out to him either; however, even though Easton wasn’t aware, she often met with Freddie, since when Elsie Linden took the child out, she would frequently stop by to see Mrs. Owen.
As time went on and the resentment he had felt towards her lost its first bitterness, Easton began to think there was perhaps some little justification for what Owen had said, and gradually there grew within him an immense desire for reconciliation—to start afresh and to forget all that had happened; but the more he thought of this the more hopeless and impossible of realization it seemed.
As time passed and the resentment he had towards her faded, Easton started to believe there might be some small justification for what Owen had said. Gradually, he developed a strong desire for reconciliation—to start over and forget everything that had happened. However, the more he contemplated this, the more hopeless and impossible it seemed.
Although perhaps he was not conscious of it, this desire arose solely from selfish motives. The money he earned seemed to melt away almost as soon as he received it; to his surprise he found that he was not nearly so well off in regard to personal comfort as he had been formerly, and the house seemed to grow more dreary and desolate as the wintry days dragged slowly by. Sometimes—when he had the money—he sought forgetfulness in the society of Crass and the other frequenters of the Cricketers, but somehow or other he could not take the same pleasure in the conversation of these people as formerly, when he had found it—as he now sometimes wondered to remember—so entertaining as to almost make him forget Ruth’s existence.
Although he might not have been aware of it, this desire came purely from selfish reasons. The money he made seemed to vanish almost as soon as he got it; he was surprised to find that he wasn’t as comfortable as he used to be, and the house felt more dreary and lonely as the winter days dragged on. Sometimes—when he had some cash—he tried to escape in the company of Crass and the other regulars at the Cricketers, but for some reason, he couldn’t enjoy their conversations as much as he used to, when he had found them—he sometimes wondered now—so entertaining that they nearly made him forget about Ruth.
One evening about three weeks before Christmas, as he and Owen were walking homewards together from work, Easton reverted for the first time to their former conversation. He spoke with a superior air: his manner and tone indicating that he thought he was behaving with great generosity. He would be willing to forgive her and have her back, he said, if she would come: but he would never be able to tolerate the child. Of course it might be sent to an orphanage or some similar institution, but he was afraid Ruth would never consent to that, and he knew that her stepmother would not take it.
One evening about three weeks before Christmas, as he and Owen were walking home from work, Easton brought up their previous conversation for the first time. He spoke with an air of superiority, his tone and manner suggesting that he felt he was being very generous. He said he would be willing to forgive her and take her back if she wanted to, but he could never accept the child. Of course, the child could be sent to an orphanage or something like it, but he doubted Ruth would ever agree to that, and he knew her stepmother wouldn’t take the child either.
“If you can persuade her to return to you, we’ll take the child,” said Owen.
“If you can convince her to come back to you, we’ll take the kid,” Owen said.
“Do you think your wife would be willing?”
“Do you think your wife would be open to it?”
“She has already suggested doing so.”
“She has already suggested doing that.”
“To Ruth?”
"To Ruth?"
“No: to me. We thought it a possible way for you, and my wife would like to have the child.”
“No: for me. We thought it could be a possibility for you, and my wife would like to have the child.”
“But would you be able to afford it?” said Easton.
“But can you afford it?” Easton asked.
“We should manage all right.”
"We should be fine."
“Of course,” said Easton, “if Slyme comes back he might agree to pay something for its keep.”
“Of course,” said Easton, “if Slyme comes back, he might agree to pay something for its care.”
Owen flushed.
Owen blushed.
“I wouldn’t take his money.”
“I wouldn’t take his cash.”
After a long pause Easton continued: “Would you mind asking Mrs Owen to suggest it to Ruth?”
After a long pause, Easton continued, “Could you ask Mrs. Owen to suggest it to Ruth?”
“If you like I’ll get her to suggest it—as a message from you.”
“If you want, I can have her suggest it—as a message from you.”
“What I meant,” said Easton hesitatingly, “was that your wife might just suggest it—casual like—and advise her that it would be the best way, and then you could let me know what Ruth said.”
“What I meant,” Easton said hesitantly, “was that your wife might just bring it up casually and suggest that it would be the best way, and then you could let me know what Ruth said.”
“No,” replied Owen, unable any longer to control his resentment of the other’s manner, “as things stand now, if it were not for the other child, I should advise her to have nothing further to do with you. You seem to think that you are acting a very generous part in being ‘willing’ to have her back, but she’s better off now than she was with you. I see no reason—except for the other child—why she should go back to you. As far as I understand it, you had a good wife and you ill-treated her.”
“No,” Owen said, unable to hold back his anger at the other person’s attitude. “Given the current situation, if it weren’t for the other child, I would tell her to cut ties with you. You act like you’re being really generous by saying you’re ‘willing’ to take her back, but she’s better off now without you. I see no reason—aside from the other child—why she should return to you. From what I know, you had a good wife and you treated her badly.”
“I never ill-treated her! I never raised my hand to her—at least only once, and then I didn’t hurt her. Does she say I ill-treated her.”
“I never mistreated her! I never laid a hand on her—at least only once, and even then I didn’t hurt her. Does she say I mistreated her?”
“Oh no: from what my wife tells me she only blames herself, but I’m drawing my own conclusions. You may not have struck her, but you did worse—you treated her with indifference and exposed her to temptation. What has happened is the natural result of your neglect and want of care for her. The responsibility for what has happened is mainly yours, but apparently you wish to pose now as being very generous and to ‘forgive her’—you’re ‘willing’ to take her back; but it seems to me that it would be more fitting that you should ask her to forgive you.”
“Oh no: from what my wife tells me, she only blames herself, but I’m drawing my own conclusions. You may not have physically harmed her, but you did something worse—you treated her with indifference and put her in a position where she could be tempted. What has happened is a natural outcome of your neglect and lack of care for her. The responsibility for what has occurred mainly falls on you, but apparently, you now want to act like you’re being very generous and ‘forgive her’—you’re ‘willing’ to take her back; but it seems to me that it would be more appropriate for you to ask her to forgive you.”
Easton made no answer and after a long silence the other continued:
Easton didn't respond, and after a long pause, the other person went on:
“I would not advise her to go back to you on such terms as you seem to think right, because if you became reconciled on such terms I don’t think either of you could be happy. Your only chance of happiness is to realize that you have both done wrong; that each of you has something to forgive; to forgive and never speak of it again.”
“I wouldn’t recommend that she go back to you under the conditions you seem to believe are okay, because if you two got back together like that, I don’t think either of you would be happy. Your only chance at happiness is to understand that you’ve both made mistakes; that each of you has something to forgive; to forgive and never bring it up again.”
Easton made no reply and a few minutes afterwards, their ways diverging, they wished each other “Good night”.
Easton didn't respond, and a few minutes later, as they went their separate ways, they said "Good night" to each other.
They were working for Rushton—painting the outside of a new conservatory at Mr Sweater’s house, “The Cave”. This job was finished the next day and at four o’clock the boy brought the handcart, which they loaded with their ladders and other materials. They took these back to the yard and then, as it was Friday night, they went up to the front shop and handed in their time sheets. Afterwards, as they were about to separate, Easton again referred to the subject of their conversation of the previous evening. He had been very reserved and silent all day, scarcely uttering a word except when the work they had been engaged in made it necessary to do so, and there was now a sort of catch in his voice as he spoke.
They were working for Rushton—painting the outside of a new conservatory at Mr. Sweater’s house, “The Cave.” They finished this job the next day, and at four o’clock, the boy brought the handcart, which they loaded with their ladders and other materials. They took everything back to the yard and then, since it was Friday night, they went up to the front shop and submitted their time sheets. Later, as they were about to part ways, Easton brought up the topic of their conversation from the previous evening again. He had been very reserved and quiet all day, barely saying anything except when it was necessary for the work they were doing, and now there was a sort of tremor in his voice as he spoke.
“I’ve been thinking over what you said last night; it’s quite true. I’ve been a great deal to blame. I wrote to Ruth last night and admitted it to her. I’ll take it as a favour if you and your wife will say what you can to help me get her back.”
“I’ve been reflecting on what you said last night; it’s definitely true. I’ve been mostly at fault. I wrote to Ruth last night and acknowledged it to her. I would really appreciate it if you and your wife could say whatever you can to help me win her back.”
Owen stretched out his hand and as the other took it, said: “You may rely on us both to do our best.”
Owen reached out his hand, and as the other person took it, he said, “You can count on both of us to give it our all.”
Chapter 51
The Widow’s Son
The next morning when they went to the yard at half past eight o’clock Hunter told them that there was nothing to do, but that they had better come on Monday in case some work came in. They accordingly went on the Monday, and Tuesday and Wednesday, but as nothing “came in’ of course they did not do any work. On Thursday morning the weather was dark and bitterly cold. The sky presented an unbroken expanse of dull grey and a keen north wind swept through the cheerless streets. Owen—who had caught cold whilst painting the outside of the conservatory at Sweater’s house the previous week—did not get to the yard until ten o’clock. He felt so ill that he would not have gone at all if they had not needed the money he would be able to earn if there was anything to do. Strange though it may appear to the advocates of thrift, although he had been so fortunate as to be in employment when so many others were idle, they had not saved any money. On the contrary, during all the summer they had not been able to afford to have proper food or clothing. Every week most of the money went to pay arrears of rent or some other debts, so that even whilst he was at work they had often to go without some of the necessaries of life. They had broken boots, shabby, insufficient clothing, and barely enough to eat.
The next morning, when they went to the yard at 8:30, Hunter told them there was nothing to do, but they should come back on Monday in case any work came in. So, they showed up on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, but since nothing "came in," they obviously didn’t do any work. On Thursday morning, the weather was dark and bitterly cold. The sky was a dull gray as a sharp north wind swept through the grim streets. Owen, who had caught a cold while painting the outside of the conservatory at Sweater’s house the week before, didn’t get to the yard until 10:00. He felt so sick that he wouldn’t have gone at all if they hadn’t needed the money he could earn if there was anything to do. Strange as it may seem to those who promote saving money, even though he was lucky to be employed when so many others were out of work, they hadn’t saved any money. On the contrary, all summer they couldn’t afford proper food or clothing. Most of the money went each week to pay overdue rent or some other debts, so even while he was working, they often had to go without some basic necessities. They had broken boots, ragged, insufficient clothing, and barely enough to eat.
The weather had become so bitterly cold that, fearing he would be laid up if he went without it any longer, he took his overcoat out of pawn, and that week they had to almost starve. Not that it was much better other weeks, for lately he had only been making six and a half hours a day—from eight-thirty in the morning till four o’clock in the evening, and on Saturday only four and a half hours—from half past eight till one. This made his wages—at sevenpence an hour—twenty-one shillings and sevenpence a week—that is, when there was work to do every day, which was not always. Sometimes they had to stand idle three days out of six. The wages of those who got sixpence halfpenny came out at one pound and twopence—when they worked every day—and as for those who—like Sawkins—received only fivepence, their week’s wages amounted to fifteen and sixpence.
The weather had become so bitterly cold that, fearing he would get sick if he went without it any longer, he took his overcoat out of pawn, and that week they had to almost starve. Not that it was much better in other weeks, since lately he had only been working six and a half hours a day—from eight-thirty in the morning until four o’clock in the evening, and on Saturday only four and a half hours—from half past eight until one. This brought his wages—at seven pence an hour—to twenty-one shillings and seven pence a week—that is, when there was work to do every day, which wasn’t always the case. Sometimes they had to stand idle three days out of six. The wages of those who earned six pence halfpenny came out to one pound and two pence—when they worked every day—and as for those who—like Sawkins—received only five pence, their week’s wages added up to fifteen and six pence.
When they were only employed for two or three days or perhaps only a few hours, their “Saturday night” sometimes amounted to half a sovereign, seven and sixpence, five shillings or even less. Then most of them said that it was better than nothing at all.
When they worked for just two or three days or maybe only a few hours, their “Saturday night” sometimes added up to half a sovereign, seven and sixpence, five shillings, or even less. Most of them claimed it was better than nothing at all.
Many of them were married men, so, in order to make existence possible, their wives went out charing or worked in laundries. They had children whom they had to bring up for the most part on “skim” milk, bread, margarine, and adulterated tea. Many of these children—little mites of eight or nine years—went to work for two or three hours in the morning before going to school; the same in the evening after school, and all day on Saturday, carrying butchers’ trays loaded with meat, baskets of groceries and vegetables, cans of paraffin oil, selling or delivering newspapers, and carrying milk. As soon as they were old enough they got Half Time certificates and directly they were fourteen they left school altogether and went to work all the day. When they were old enough some of them tried to join the Army or Navy, but were found physically unfit.
Many of them were married men, so to make ends meet, their wives took on cleaning jobs or worked in laundries. They had kids who mainly survived on “skim” milk, bread, margarine, and cheap tea. Many of these children—little ones around eight or nine years old—worked for two or three hours in the morning before school; the same in the evening after school, and all day on Saturday, carrying trays of meat from butchers, baskets of groceries and veggies, cans of paraffin oil, selling or delivering newspapers, and transporting milk. Once they were old enough, they got Half Time certificates, and as soon as they turned fourteen, they dropped out of school completely and worked all day. When they were old enough, some of them tried to enlist in the Army or Navy, but they were found physically unfit.
It is not much to be wondered at that when they became a little older they were so degenerate intellectually that they imagined that the surest way to obtain better conditions would be to elect gangs of Liberal and Tory land-grabbers, sweaters, swindlers and lawyers to rule over them.
It’s not surprising that as they got older, they became so intellectually lacking that they thought the best way to improve their situation was to elect groups of Liberal and Tory land-grabbers, exploiters, frauds, and lawyers to govern them.
When Owen arrived at the yard he found Bert White cleaning out the dirty pots in the paint-shop. The noise he made with the scraping knife prevented him from hearing Owen’s approach and the latter stood watching him for some minutes without speaking. The stone floor of the paint shop was damp and shiny and the whole place was chilly as a tomb. The boy was trembling with cold and he looked pitifully undersized and frail as he bent over his work with an old apron girt about him. Because it was so cold he was wearing his jacket with the ends of the sleeves turned back to keep them clean, or to prevent them getting any dirtier, for they were already in the same condition as the rest of his attire, which was thickly encrusted with dried paint of many colours, and his hands and fingernails were grimed with it.
When Owen got to the yard, he saw Bert White cleaning out the dirty pots in the paint shop. The noise from the scraping knife made it hard for Bert to hear Owen coming, so Owen stood there watching him for a few minutes without saying anything. The stone floor of the paint shop was damp and shiny, and the whole place felt as cold as a tomb. The boy was shivering from the chill, looking sadly small and fragile as he bent over his work in an old apron. Because it was so cold, he had his jacket on, with the sleeves turned back to keep them clean or to stop them from getting any dirtier, since they were already as filthy as the rest of his clothes, which were thick with dried paint in various colors, and his hands and fingernails were dirty too.
As he watched the poor boy bending over his task, Owen thought of Frankie, and with a feeling akin to terror wondered whether he would ever be in a similar plight.
As he watched the struggling boy focus on his work, Owen thought of Frankie and, feeling a sense of dread, wondered if he would ever find himself in the same situation.
When he saw Owen, the boy left off working and wished him good morning, remarking that it was very cold.
When he saw Owen, the boy stopped working and said good morning, pointing out that it was really cold.
“Why don’t you light a fire? There’s lots of wood lying about the yard.”
“Why don’t you start a fire? There’s plenty of wood lying around outside.”
“No,” said Bert shaking his head. “That would never do! Misery wouldn’t ’arf ramp if ’e caught me at it. I used to ’ave a fire ’ere last winter till Rushton found out, and ’e kicked up an orful row and told me to move meself and get some work done and then I wouldn’t feel the cold.”
“No,” said Bert, shaking his head. “That wouldn’t work at all! Misery would totally freak out if he caught me doing that. I used to have a fire here last winter until Rushton found out, and he threw a huge fit and told me to get myself in gear and do some work so I wouldn’t feel the cold.”
“Oh, he said that, did he?” said Owen, his pale face becoming suddenly suffused with blood. “We’ll see about that.”
“Oh, he said that, did he?” Owen replied, his pale face suddenly flushing with color. “We’ll see about that.”
He went out into the yard and crossing over to where—under a shed—there was a great heap of waste wood, stuff that had been taken out of places where Rushton & Co. had made alterations, he gathered an armful of it and was returning to the paintshop when Sawkins accosted him.
He went out into the yard and walked over to where—under a shed—there was a big pile of scrap wood, stuff that had been removed from places where Rushton & Co. had made changes. He gathered an armful of it and was heading back to the paint shop when Sawkins approached him.
“You mustn’t go burnin’ any of that, you know! That’s all got to be saved and took up to the bloke’s house. Misery spoke about it only this mornin’.”
“You shouldn’t go burning any of that, you know! It all needs to be saved and taken up to the guy’s house. Misery mentioned it just this morning.”
Owen did not answer him. He carried the wood into the shop and after throwing it into the fireplace he poured some old paint over it, and, applying a match, produced a roaring fire. Then he brought in several more armfuls of wood and piled them in a corner of the shop. Bert took no part in these proceedings, and at first rather disapproved of them because he was afraid there would be trouble when Misery came, but when the fire was an accomplished fact he warmed his hands and shifted his work to the other side of the bench so as to get the benefit of the heat.
Owen didn't respond. He carried the wood into the shop, tossed it into the fireplace, poured some old paint over it, and then struck a match to create a roaring fire. After that, he brought in several more armfuls of wood and stacked them in a corner of the shop. Bert didn’t get involved in what was happening at first and was somewhat against it because he worried there would be trouble when Misery arrived, but once the fire was going strong, he warmed his hands and moved his work to the other side of the bench to enjoy the heat.
Owen waited for about half an hour to see if Hunter would return, but as that disciple did not appear, he decided not to wait any longer. Before leaving he gave Bert some instructions:
Owen waited for about thirty minutes to see if Hunter would come back, but since that disciple didn’t show up, he decided to leave. Before going, he gave Bert some instructions:
“Keep up the fire with all the old paint that you can scrape off those things and any other old paint or rubbish that’s here, and whenever it grows dull put more wood on. There’s a lot of old stuff here that’s of no use except to be thrown away or burnt. Burn it all. If Hunter says anything, tell him that I lit the fire, and that I told you to keep it burning. If you want more wood, go out and take it.”
“Keep the fire going with as much old paint as you can scrape off those things and any other old paint or junk that's around here. Whenever it starts to dwindle, add more wood. There’s a lot of old stuff here that’s useless except to be thrown away or burned. Burn it all. If Hunter asks about it, just say I started the fire and that I told you to keep it burning. If you need more wood, go outside and get it.”
“All right,” replied Bert.
"Okay," replied Bert.
On his way out Owen spoke to Sawkins. His manner was so menacing, his face so pale, and there was such a strange glare in his eyes, that the latter thought of the talk there had been about Owen being mad, and felt half afraid of him.
On his way out, Owen talked to Sawkins. He was so threatening, his face so pale, and there was such a strange glint in his eyes that Sawkins remembered the gossip about Owen being crazy and felt somewhat scared of him.
“I am going to the office to see Rushton; if Hunter comes here, you say I told you to tell him that if I find the boy in that shop again without a fire, I’ll report it to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. And as for you, if the boy comes out here to get more wood, don’t you attempt to interfere with him.”
“I’m going to the office to see Rushton; if Hunter shows up, you tell him I said that if I catch the boy in that shop again without a fire, I’ll report it to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. And as for you, if the boy comes out here to get more wood, don’t try to interfere with him.”
“I don’t want to interfere with the bloody kid,” grunted Sawkins. “It seems to me as if he’s gorn orf ’is bloody crumpet,” he added as he watched Owen walking rapidly down the street. “I can’t understand why people can’t mind their own bloody business: anyone would think the boy belonged to ’IM.”
“I don’t want to get involved with that damn kid,” grunted Sawkins. “It looks to me like he’s gone off his damn rocker,” he added as he watched Owen walking quickly down the street. “I can’t understand why people can’t mind their own damn business: you’d think the boy belonged to him.”
That was just how the matter presented itself to Owen. The idea that it was his own child who was to be treated in this way possessed and infuriated him as he strode savagely along. In the vicinity of the Slave Market on the Grand Parade he passed—without seeing them—several groups of unemployed artisans whom he knew. Some of them were offended and remarked that he was getting stuck up, but others, observing how strange he looked, repeated the old prophecy that one of these days Owen would go out of his mind.
That was exactly how Owen saw things. The thought that it was his own child being treated this way consumed and angered him as he walked fiercely along. Near the Slave Market on the Grand Parade, he walked past—without noticing them—several groups of unemployed workers he recognized. Some were offended and said he was getting arrogant, but others, noticing how unusual he looked, brought up the old saying that one day Owen would lose his mind.
As he drew near to his destination large flakes of snow began to fall. He walked so rapidly and was in such a fury that by the time he reached the shop he was scarcely able to speak.
As he got closer to his destination, big flakes of snow started to fall. He walked so quickly and was so angry that by the time he arrived at the shop, he could hardly speak.
“Is—Hunter—or Rushton here?” he demanded of the shopman.
“Is Hunter or Rushton here?” he asked the shop assistant.
“Hunter isn’t, but the guv’nor is. What was it you wanted?”
“Hunter isn’t, but the boss is. What did you want?”
“He’ll soon—know—that,” panted Owen as he strode up to the office door, and without troubling to knock, flung it violently open and entered.
“He’ll soon know that,” panted Owen as he walked up to the office door, and without bothering to knock, flung it open and stepped inside.
The atmosphere of this place was very different from that of the damp cellar where Bert was working. A grate fitted with asbestos blocks and lit with gas communicated a genial warmth to the air.
The atmosphere in this place was totally different from the damp cellar where Bert was working. A grate filled with asbestos blocks and lit by gas gave a cozy warmth to the air.
Rushton was standing leaning over Miss Wade’s chair with his left arm round her neck. Owen recollected afterwards that her dress was disarranged. She retired hastily to the far end of the room as Rushton jumped away from her, and stared in amazement and confusion at the intruder—he was too astonished and embarrassed to speak. Owen stood panting and quivering in the middle of the office and pointed a trembling finger at his employer:
Rushton was leaning over Miss Wade's chair with his left arm around her neck. Owen later remembered that her dress was messed up. She quickly moved to the far end of the room as Rushton jumped away from her, staring in shock and confusion at the intruder—he was too surprised and embarrassed to say anything. Owen stood panting and shaking in the middle of the office, pointing a trembling finger at his boss:
“I’ve come—here—to tell—you—that—if I find young—Bert White—working—down in that shop—without a fire—I’ll have you prosecuted. The place is not good enough for a stable—if you owned a valuable dog—you wouldn’t keep it there—I give you fair warning—I know—enough—about you—to put you—where you deserve to be—if you don’t treat him better I’ll have you punished I’ll show you up.”
“I’ve come here to tell you that if I find young Bert White working down in that shop without a fire, I’ll have you prosecuted. That place isn’t fit for a stable—if you owned a valuable dog, you wouldn’t keep it there. I’m giving you fair warning—I know enough about you to put you where you deserve to be. If you don’t treat him better, I’ll have you punished. I’ll expose you.”
Rushton continued to stare at him in mingled confusion, fear and perplexity; he did not yet comprehend exactly what it was all about; he was guiltily conscious of so many things which he might reasonably fear to be shown up or prosecuted for if they were known, and the fact of being caught under such circumstances with Miss Wade helped to reduce him to a condition approaching terror.
Rushton kept staring at him, feeling a mix of confusion, fear, and bewilderment; he still didn't fully understand what was happening. He was acutely aware of so many things that he could justifiably be afraid of being exposed or prosecuted for if they came to light, and being found in such a situation with Miss Wade only intensified his sense of impending dread.
“If the boy has been there without a fire, I ’aven’t known anything about it,” he stammered at last. “Mr ’Unter has charge of all those matters.”
“If the boy has been there without a fire, I haven’t known anything about it,” he stammered finally. “Mr. Hunter is in charge of all those matters.”
“You—yourself—forbade him—to make a fire last winter—and anyhow—you know about it now. You obtained money from his mother under the pretence—that you were going—to teach him a trade—but for the last twelve months—you have been using him—as if he were—a beast of burden. I advise you to see to it—or I shall—find—means—to make you—wish you had done so.”
“You—yourself—told him not to make a fire last winter—and anyway—you know about it now. You got money from his mother pretending that you were going to teach him a trade—but for the last twelve months—you’ve been using him—like he’s a beast of burden. I advise you to take care of it—or I’ll—find a way—to make you—regret not doing so.”
With this Owen turned and went out, leaving the door open, and Rushton in a state of mind compounded of fear, amazement and anger.
With that, Owen turned and walked out, leaving the door open, while Rushton was overwhelmed with a mix of fear, shock, and anger.
As he walked homewards through the snow-storm, Owen began to realize that the consequence of what he had done would be that Rushton would not give him any more work, and as he reflected on all that this would mean to those at home, for a moment he doubted whether he had done right. But when he told Nora what had happened she said there were plenty of other firms in the town who would employ him—when they had the work. He had done without Rushton before and could do so again; for her part—whatever the consequences might be—she was glad that he had acted as he did.
As he walked home through the snowstorm, Owen started to realize that because of what he had done, Rushton wouldn't give him any more work. As he thought about what this would mean for those at home, he briefly questioned whether he had made the right choice. But when he told Nora what happened, she said there were plenty of other companies in town that would hire him—when they had the work available. He had managed without Rushton before and could do it again; as far as she was concerned—regardless of the outcomes—she was glad he had acted as he did.
“We’ll get through somehow, I suppose,” said Owen, wearily. “There’s not much chance of getting a job anywhere else just now, but I shall try to get some work on my own account. I shall do some samples of show-cards the same as I did last winter and try to get orders from some of the shops—they usually want something extra at this time, but I’m afraid it is rather too late: most of them already have all they want.”
“We'll manage somehow, I guess,” said Owen, tiredly. “There isn’t much chance of finding a job anywhere else right now, but I’ll try to get some work on my own. I’ll make some samples of show cards like I did last winter and try to get orders from some shops—they usually need something extra at this time, but I'm afraid it's a bit too late: most of them already have everything they need.”
“I shouldn’t go out again today if I were you,” said Nora, noticing how ill he looked. “You should stay at home and read, or write up those minutes.”
“I wouldn’t go out again today if I were you,” Nora said, seeing how unwell he looked. “You should stay home and read or finish up those minutes.”
The minutes referred to were those of the last meeting of the local branch of the Painters’ Society, of which Owen was the secretary, and as the snow continued to fall, he occupied himself after dinner in the manner his wife suggested, until four o’clock, when Frankie returned from school bringing with him a large snowball, and crying out as a piece of good news that the snow was still falling heavily, and that he believed it was freezing!
The minutes mentioned were from the last meeting of the local branch of the Painters’ Society, where Owen served as the secretary. As the snow kept falling, he kept himself busy after dinner in the way his wife suggested, until four o’clock, when Frankie came home from school with a big snowball, shouting excitedly that the snow was still coming down hard and that he thought it was freezing!
They went to bed very early that night, for it was necessary to economize the coal, and not only that, but—because the rooms were so near the roof—it was not possible to keep the place warm no matter how much coal was used. The fire seemed, if anything, to make the place colder, for it caused the outer air to pour in through the joints of the ill-fitting doors and windows.
They went to bed really early that night because they needed to conserve coal. Also, since the rooms were so close to the roof, it was impossible to keep the place warm no matter how much coal they used. The fire actually seemed to make things colder, as it let the outside air rush in through the gaps in the poorly fitting doors and windows.
Owen lay awake for the greater part of the night. The terror of the future made rest or sleep impossible. He got up very early the next morning—long before it was light—and after lighting the fire, set about preparing the samples he had mentioned to Nora, but found that it would not be possible to do much in this direction without buying more cardboard, for most of what he had was not in good condition.
Owen lay awake for most of the night. The fear of the future made it impossible to rest or sleep. He got up very early the next morning—long before it was light—and after lighting the fire, he started preparing the samples he had mentioned to Nora, but realized he couldn't do much without buying more cardboard, as most of what he had was in bad shape.
They had bread and butter and tea for breakfast. Frankie had his in bed and it was decided to keep him away from school until after dinner because the weather was so very cold and his only pair of boots were so saturated with moisture from having been out in the snow the previous day.
They had toast and tea for breakfast. Frankie had his in bed, and it was decided to keep him home from school until after dinner because it was really cold, and his only pair of boots were soaking wet from being out in the snow the day before.
“I shall make a few inquiries to see if there’s any other work to be had before I buy the cardboard,” said Owen, “although I’m afraid it’s not much use.”
“I’ll ask around to see if there’s any other work available before I buy the cardboard,” said Owen, “but I’m afraid it’s probably not going to help much.”
Just as he was preparing to go out, the front door bell rang, and as he was going down to answer it he saw Bert White coming upstairs. The boy was carrying a flat, brown-paper parcel under his arm.
Just as he was getting ready to head out, the front doorbell rang, and as he went downstairs to answer it, he saw Bert White coming up. The boy was carrying a flat, brown paper package under his arm.
“A corfin plate,” he explained as he arrived at the door. “Wanted at once—Misery ses you can do it at ’ome, an’ I’ve got to wait for it.”
“A coffin plate,” he explained as he reached the door. “Needed right away—Misery says you can do it at home, and I’ve got to wait for it.”
Owen and his wife looked at each other with intense relief. So he was not to be dismissed after all. It was almost too good to be true.
Owen and his wife looked at each other with deep relief. So he wasn't going to be let go after all. It was almost too good to be true.
“There’s a piece of paper inside the parcel with the name of the party what’s dead,” continued Bert, “and here’s a little bottle of Brunswick black for you to do the inscription with.”
“There’s a piece of paper inside the package with the name of the deceased party,” Bert continued, “and here’s a small bottle of Brunswick black ink for you to write the inscription with.”
“Did he send any other message?”
“Did he send any other messages?”
“Yes: he told me to tell you there’s a job to be started Monday morning—a couple of rooms to be done out somewhere. Got to be finished by Thursday; and there’s another job ’e wants you to do this afternoon—after dinner—so you’ve got to come to the yard at one o’clock. ’E told me to tell you ’e meant to leave a message for you yesterday morning, but ’e forgot.”
“Yes, he asked me to let you know there’s a job starting Monday morning—some rooms that need to be finished somewhere. It has to be done by Thursday; and there’s another job he wants you to do this afternoon—after dinner—so you need to be at the yard by one o’clock. He mentioned he meant to leave you a message yesterday morning, but he forgot.”
“What did he say to you about the fire—anything?”
“What did he tell you about the fire—anything?”
“Yes: they both of ’em came about an hour after you went away—Misery and the Bloke too—but they didn’t kick up a row. I wasn’t arf frightened, I can tell you, when I saw ’em both coming, but they was quite nice. The Bloke ses to me, ‘Ah, that’s right, my boy,’ ’e ses. ‘Keep up a good fire. I’m going to send you some coke,’ ’e ses. And then they ’ad a look round and ’e told Sawkins to put some new panes of glass where the winder was broken, and—you know that great big packing-case what was under the truck shed?”
“Yes, they both showed up about an hour after you left—Misery and the Guy too—but they didn’t cause any trouble. I was really scared when I saw them coming, but they were actually quite nice. The Guy said to me, ‘Ah, that’s right, my boy. Keep the fire going. I’m going to send you some coal,’ he said. Then they looked around, and he told Sawkins to put some new panes of glass where the window was broken, and—you know that big packing case that was under the truck shed?”
“Yes.”
"Sure."
“Well, ’e told Sawkins to saw it up and cover over the stone floor of the paint-shop with it. It ain’t ’arf all right there now. I’ve cleared out all the muck from under the benches and we’ve got two sacks of coke sent from the gas-works, and the Bloke told me when that’s all used up I’ve got to get a order orf Miss Wade for another lot.”
“Well, he told Sawkins to saw it up and cover over the stone floor of the paint shop with it. It’s looking pretty good there now. I’ve cleaned out all the mess from under the benches, and we’ve got two sacks of coke sent from the gas works. The guy told me when that’s all used up I’ve got to get an order from Miss Wade for another batch.”
At one o’clock Owen was at the yard, where he saw Misery, who instructed him to go to the front shop and paint some numbers on the racks where the wallpapers were stored. Whilst he was doing this work Rushton came in and greeted him in a very friendly way.
At one o’clock, Owen was in the yard, where he saw Misery, who told him to go to the front shop and paint some numbers on the racks where the wallpapers were stored. While he was doing this, Rushton came in and greeted him in a very friendly manner.
“I’m very glad you let me know about the boy working in that paint-shop,” he observed after a few preliminary remarks. “I can assure you as I don’t want the lad to be uncomfortable, but you know I can’t attend to everything myself. I’m much obliged to you for telling me about it; I think you did quite right; I should have done the same myself.”
“I’m really glad you told me about the boy working in that paint shop,” he said after a few casual comments. “I want to make sure the kid isn’t uncomfortable, but you know I can’t handle everything on my own. I really appreciate you bringing it up; I think you did the right thing; I would have done the same.”
Owen did not know what to reply, but Rushton walked off without waiting...
Owen didn't know how to respond, but Rushton walked away without waiting...
Chapter 52
“It’s a Far, Far Better Thing that I do, than I have Ever Done”
Although Owen, Easton and Crass and a few others were so lucky as to have had a little work to do during the last few months, the majority of their fellow workmen had been altogether out of employment most of the time, and meanwhile the practical business-men, and the pretended disciples of Christ—the liars and hypocrites who professed to believe that all men are brothers and God their Father—had continued to enact the usual farce that they called “Dealing” with the misery that surrounded them on every side. They continued to organize “Rummage” and “Jumble” sales and bazaars, and to distribute their rotten cast-off clothes and boots and their broken victuals and soup to such of the Brethren as were sufficiently degraded to beg for them. The beautiful Distress Committee was also in full operation; over a thousand Brethren had registered themselves on its books. Of this number—after careful investigation—the committee had found that no fewer than six hundred and seventy-two were deserving of being allowed to work for their living. The Committee would probably have given these six hundred and seventy-two the necessary permission, but it was somewhat handicapped by the fact that the funds at its disposal were only sufficient to enable that number of Brethren to be employed for about three days. However, by adopting a policy of temporizing, delay, and general artful dodging, the Committee managed to create the impression that they were Dealing with the Problem.
Although Owen, Easton, Crass, and a few others were fortunate enough to have had a bit of work in the past few months, most of their fellow workers had been completely unemployed for most of the time. Meanwhile, the business people and the fake followers of Christ—the liars and hypocrites who claimed to believe that all men are brothers and God is their Father—continued to play out the usual charade they called “Dealing” with the suffering around them. They kept organizing “Rummage” and “Jumble” sales and bazaars, handing out their worn-out clothes and boots, and their spoiled food and soup to those who were desperate enough to beg for them. The lovely Distress Committee was also in full swing; over a thousand members had signed up. After careful investigation, the committee found that at least six hundred and seventy-two of these members were worthy of being allowed to earn a living. The Committee would have likely granted these six hundred and seventy-two the necessary permission, but they were somewhat limited by the fact that their funds were only enough to employ that many members for about three days. However, by playing for time, delaying, and using clever evasions, the Committee managed to give the impression that they were addressing the Problem.
If it had not been for a cunning device invented by Brother Rushton, a much larger number of the Brethren would have succeeded in registering themselves as unemployed on the books of the Committee. In previous years it had been the practice to issue an application form called a “Record Paper” to any Brother who asked for one, and the Brother returned it after filling it in himself. At a secret meeting of the Committee Rushton proposed—amid laughter and applause, it was such a good joke—a new and better way, calculated to keep down the number of applicants. The result of this innovation was that no more forms were issued, but the applicants for work were admitted into the office one at a time, and were there examined by a junior clerk, somewhat after the manner of a French Juge d’Instruction interrogating a criminal, the clerk filling in the form according to the replies of the culprit.
If it hadn't been for a clever system created by Brother Rushton, many more Brethren would have managed to register as unemployed with the Committee. In the past, anyone who requested it was given an application form called a “Record Paper,” which they filled out themselves and returned. During a secret Committee meeting, Rushton suggested—a proposal met with laughter and applause because it was such a great joke—a new and improved method aimed at reducing the number of applicants. The outcome of this change was that no more forms were given out; instead, job seekers were brought into the office one at a time and interviewed by a junior clerk, somewhat like a French judge interrogating a suspect, with the clerk completing the form based on the answers from the individual.
“What’s your name?”
"What's your name?"
“Where do you live?”
“Where do you stay?”
“How long have you been living there?”
“How long have you lived there?”
“Where did you live before you went there?”
“Where did you live before you moved there?”
“How long were you living at that place?”
“How long did you live at that place?”
“Why did you move?”
“Why did you relocate?”
“Did you owe any rent when you left?”
“Did you have any rent to pay when you left?”
“What was your previous address?”
“What was your last address?”
“How old are you? When was your last birthday?”
“How old are you? When did you last celebrate your birthday?”
“What is your Trade, Calling, Employment, or Occupation?”
“What is your trade, job, profession, or occupation?”
“Are you Married or single or a Widower or what?”
“Are you married, single, a widower, or what?”
“How many children have you? How many boys? How many girls? Do they go to work? What do they earn?”
“How many kids do you have? How many boys? How many girls? Do they work? How much do they make?”
“What kind of a house do you live in? How many rooms are there?”
“What kind of house do you live in? How many rooms does it have?”
“How much rent do you owe?”
“How much rent do you owe?”
“Who was your last employer? What was the foreman’s name? How long did you work there? What kind of work did you do? Why did you leave?”
“Who was your last boss? What was the foreman’s name? How long did you work there? What kind of work did you do? Why did you leave?”
“What have you been doing for the last five years? What kind of work, how many hours a day? What wages did you get?”
“What have you been doing for the last five years? What kind of work, how many hours a day? What were your wages?”
“Give the full names and addresses of all the different employers you have worked for during the last five years, and the reasons why you left them.”
“Please provide the full names and addresses of all the different employers you’ve worked for in the last five years, along with the reasons you left each position.”
“Give the names of all the foremen you have worked under during the last five years.”
“List the names of all the foremen you've worked for in the last five years.”
“Does your wife earn anything? How much?”
“Does your wife make any money? How much?”
“Do you get any money from any Club or Society, or from any Charity, or from any other source?”
“Do you receive any money from any Club or Society, any Charity, or any other source?”
“Have you ever received Poor Relief?”
“Have you ever gotten financial help from the government?”
“Have you ever worked for a Distress Committee before?”
“Have you ever worked for a Distress Committee before?”
“Have you ever done any other kinds of work than those you have mentioned? Do you think you would be fit for any other kind?”
“Have you ever done any other types of work besides the ones you've mentioned? Do you think you would be suitable for any other kind?”
“Have you any references?” and so on and so forth.
“Do you have any references?” and so on and so forth.
When the criminal had answered all the questions, and when his answers had all been duly written down, he was informed that a member of the Committee, or an Authorized Officer, or some Other Person, would in due course visit his home and make inquiries about him, after which the Authorized Officer or Other Person would make a report to the Committee, who would consider it at their next meeting.
When the criminal had answered all the questions, and his answers had been properly recorded, he was told that a member of the Committee, or an Authorized Officer, or some Other Person, would eventually visit his home to ask further questions about him. After that, the Authorized Officer or Other Person would submit a report to the Committee, who would review it at their next meeting.
As the interrogation of each criminal occupied about half an hour, to say nothing of the time he was kept waiting, it will be seen that as a means of keeping down the number of registered unemployed the idea worked splendidly.
As each criminal interrogation took about half an hour, not to mention the time he spent waiting, it's clear that this method worked exceptionally well to reduce the number of registered unemployed.
When Rushton introduced this new rule it was carried unanimously, Dr Weakling being the only dissentient, but of course he—as Brother Grinder remarked—was always opposed to any sensible proposal. There was one consolation, however, Grinder added, they was not likely to be pestered with ’im much longer; the first of November was coming and if he—Grinder—knowed anything of working men they was sure to give Weakling the dirty kick out directly they got the chance.
When Rushton introduced this new rule, it was passed unanimously, with Dr. Weakling being the only one against it. But of course, as Brother Grinder pointed out, he was always opposed to any sensible proposal. There was one consolation, Grinder added—they probably wouldn't have to put up with him much longer; November 1st was coming, and if he—Grinder—knew anything about working men, they would definitely give Weakling the boot as soon as they got the chance.
A few days afterwards the result of the municipal election justified Brother Grinder’s prognostications, for the working men voters of Dr Weakling’s ward did give him the dirty kick out: but Rushton, Didlum, Grinder and several other members of the band were triumphantly returned with increased majorities.
A few days later, the outcome of the municipal election confirmed Brother Grinder’s predictions, as the working-class voters in Dr. Weakling’s ward kicked him out: however, Rushton, Didlum, Grinder, and several other members of the group were triumphantly re-elected with larger majorities.
Mr Dauber, of Dauber and Botchit, had already been elected a Guardian of the Poor.
Mr. Dauber, from Dauber and Botchit, had already been elected as a Guardian of the Poor.
During all this time Hunter, who looked more worried and miserable as the dreary weeks went by, was occupied every day in supervising what work was being done and in running about seeking for more. Nearly every night he remained at the office until a late hour, poring over specifications and making out estimates. The police had become so accustomed to seeing the light in the office that as a rule they took no notice of it, but one Thursday night—exactly one week after the scene between Owen and Rushton about the boy—the constable on the beat observed the light there much later than usual. At first he paid no particular attention to the fact, but when night merged into morning and the light still remained, his curiosity was aroused.
During this time, Hunter, who looked more anxious and unhappy as the depressing weeks passed, spent every day supervising the work being done and searching for more tasks. Almost every night, he stayed at the office until late, going over specifications and preparing estimates. The police had gotten so used to seeing the office light on that they usually ignored it, but one Thursday night—exactly one week after the incident between Owen and Rushton regarding the boy—the constable on duty noticed the light was still on much later than usual. At first, he didn’t think much of it, but as night turned into morning and the light was still there, his curiosity was piqued.
He knocked at the door, but no one came in answer, and no sound disturbed the deathlike stillness that reigned within. The door was locked, but he was not able to tell whether it had been closed from the inside or outside, because it had a spring latch. The office window was low down, but it was not possible to see in because the back of the glass had been painted.
He knocked on the door, but no one answered, and the eerie silence inside was unsettling. The door was locked, but he couldn't tell if it was shut from the inside or outside because it had a spring latch. The office window was low, but it was impossible to see inside since the back of the glass had been painted over.
The constable thought that the most probable explanation of the mystery was that whoever had been there earlier in the evening had forgotten to turn out the light when they went away; it was not likely that thieves or anyone who had no business to be there would advertise their presence by lighting the gas.
The constable believed that the most likely explanation for the mystery was that whoever had been there earlier in the evening forgot to turn off the light before they left; it was unlikely that thieves or anyone who shouldn't be there would draw attention to themselves by turning on the gas.
He made a note of the incident in his pocket-book and was about to resume his beat when he was joined by his inspector. The latter agreed that the conclusion arrived at by the constable was probably the right one and they were about to pass on when the inspector noticed a small speck of light shining through the lower part of the painted window, where a small piece of the paint had either been scratched or had shelled off the glass. He knelt down and found that it was possible to get a view of the interior of the office, and as he peered through he gave a low exclamation. When he made way for his subordinate to look in his turn, the constable was with some difficulty able to distinguish the figure of a man lying prone upon the floor.
He jotted down the incident in his notebook and was about to continue his patrol when his inspector joined him. The inspector agreed that the constable's conclusion was likely correct, and just as they were about to move on, he noticed a small glimmer of light shining through the lower part of the painted window, where a bit of paint had been scratched or peeled off. He knelt down and discovered he could see inside the office, and as he looked through, he let out a quiet exclamation. When he stepped aside for his subordinate to take a look, the constable struggled a bit to make out the figure of a man lying flat on the floor.
It was an easy task for the burly policeman to force open the office door: a single push of his shoulder wrenched it from its fastenings and as it flew back the socket of the lock fell with a splash into a great pool of blood that had accumulated against the threshold, flowing from the place where Hunter was lying on his back, his arms extended and his head nearly severed from his body. On the floor, close to his right hand, was an open razor. An overturned chair lay on the floor by the side of the table where he usually worked, the table itself being littered with papers and drenched with blood.
It was an easy job for the big cop to force open the office door: a single push of his shoulder wrenched it from its hinges, and as it swung back, the lock fell with a splash into a large pool of blood that had collected at the threshold, flowing from the spot where Hunter lay on his back, his arms stretched out and his head nearly severed from his body. On the floor, near his right hand, was an open razor. An overturned chair was lying on the floor next to the table where he usually worked, and the table itself was cluttered with papers and soaked in blood.
Within the next few days Crass resumed the role he had played when Hunter was ill during the summer, taking charge of the work and generally doing his best to fill the dead man’s place, although—as he confided to certain of his cronies in the bar of the Cricketers—he had no intention of allowing Rushton to do the same as Hunter had done. One of his first jobs—on the morning after the discovery of the body—was to go with Mr Rushton to look over a house where some work was to be done for which an estimate had to be given. It was this estimate that Hunter had been trying to make out the previous evening in the office, for they found that the papers on his table were covered with figures and writing relating to this work. These papers justified the subsequent verdict of the Coroner’s jury that Hunter committed suicide in a fit of temporary insanity, for they were covered with a lot of meaningless scribbling, the words wrongly spelt and having no intelligible connection with each other. There was one sum that he had evidently tried repeatedly to do correctly, but which came wrong in a different way every time. The fact that he had the razor in his possession seemed to point to his having premeditated the act, but this was accounted for at the inquest by the evidence of the last person who saw him alive, a hairdresser, who stated that Hunter had left the razor with him to be sharpened a few days previously and that he had called for it on the evening of the tragedy. He had ground this razor for Mr Hunter several times before.
Within the next few days, Crass stepped back into the role he had taken on when Hunter was sick during the summer, taking charge of the work and doing his best to fill the deceased man's position, although—as he confided to some of his buddies in the bar of the Cricketers—he had no intention of letting Rushton do what Hunter had done. One of his first tasks—on the morning after the body was found—was to go with Mr. Rushton to check out a house where some work needed to be done, for which they had to provide an estimate. This was the estimate Hunter had been trying to complete the previous evening in the office; they found that the papers on his desk were filled with numbers and notes related to this work. These papers supported the subsequent verdict of the Coroner’s jury that Hunter committed suicide in a moment of temporary insanity, as they were filled with a lot of nonsensical scribbles, with misspelled words that had no clear connection to one another. There was one calculation he had evidently attempted multiple times to get right, but it was wrong in a different way each time. The fact that he had the razor with him seemed to indicate that he had premeditated the act, but this was explained at the inquest by the testimony of the last person who saw him alive, a hairdresser, who stated that Hunter had left the razor with him to be sharpened a few days earlier and that he had picked it up on the evening of the tragedy. He had sharpened this razor for Mr. Hunter several times before.
Crass took charge of all the arrangements for the funeral. He bought a new second-hand pair of black trousers at a cast-off clothing shop in honour of the occasion, and discarded his own low-crowned silk hat—which was getting rather shabby—in favour of Hunter’s tall one, which he found in the office and annexed without hesitation or scruple. It was rather large for him, but he put some folded strips of paper inside the leather lining. Crass was a proud man as he walked in Hunter’s place at the head of the procession, trying to look solemn, but with a half-smile on his fat, pasty face, destitute of colour except one spot on his chin near his underlip, where there was a small patch of inflammation about the size of a threepenny piece. This spot had been there for a very long time. At first—as well as he could remember—it was only a small pimple, but it had grown larger, with something the appearance of scurvy. Crass attributed its continuation to the cold having “got into it last winter”. It was rather strange, too, because he generally took care of himself when it was cold: he always wore the warm wrap that had formerly belonged to the old lady who died of cancer. However, Crass did not worry much about this little sore place; he just put a little zinc ointment on it occasionally and had no doubt that it would get well in time.
Crass handled all the arrangements for the funeral. He bought a new second-hand pair of black pants at a thrift store to honor the occasion and discarded his own worn-out low-crowned silk hat for Hunter's tall one, which he found in the office and took without hesitation. It was a bit big for him, but he stuffed some folded strips of paper inside the leather lining. Crass felt proud as he walked in Hunter's place at the front of the procession, trying to look serious, but a half-smile crept onto his chubby, pale face, which had no color except for a spot on his chin near his lower lip, where a small patch of inflammation the size of a threepenny coin had been for a long time. At first—and as far back as he could remember—it was just a small pimple, but it had grown larger, resembling something like scurvy. Crass believed it persisted because the cold had "got into it last winter." It was odd, though, because he usually took care of himself in cold weather: he always wore the warm wrap that used to belong to the old lady who died of cancer. Still, Crass didn't worry much about this little sore spot; he just applied some zinc ointment on it now and then and was confident it would heal in time.
Chapter 53
Barrington Finds a Situation
The revulsion of feeling that Barrington experienced during the progress of the election was intensified by the final result. The blind, stupid, enthusiastic admiration displayed by the philanthropists for those who exploited and robbed them; their extraordinary apathy with regard to their own interests; the patient, broken-spirited way in which they endured their sufferings, tamely submitting to live in poverty in the midst of the wealth they had helped to create; their callous indifference to the fate of their children, and the savage hatred they exhibited towards anyone who dared to suggest the possibility of better things, forced upon him the thought that the hopes he cherished were impossible of realization. The words of the renegade Socialist recurred constantly to his mind:
The disgust that Barrington felt during the election grew even stronger with the final outcome. The blind, senseless admiration shown by the philanthropists for those who took advantage of and exploited them; their incredible indifference to their own interests; the way they patiently endured their struggles, passively accepting a life of poverty amidst the wealth they had helped to create; their heartless apathy towards the fate of their children, and the fierce anger they showed towards anyone who dared to suggest a chance for better options, made him realize that the hopes he had held onto were unlikely to come true. The words of the turncoat Socialist echoed constantly in his mind:
“You can be a Jesus Christ if you like, but for my part I’m finished. For the future I intend to look after myself. As for these people, they vote for what they want, they get what they vote for, and, by God! they deserve nothing better! They are being beaten with whips of their own choosing, and if I had my way they should be chastised with scorpions. For them, the present system means joyless drudgery, semi-starvation, rags and premature death; and they vote for it and uphold it. Let them have what they vote for! Let them drudge and let them starve!”
“You can be like Jesus if you want, but as for me, I'm done. From now on, I'm taking care of myself. These people vote for what they want, they get what they vote for, and honestly, they deserve no better! They're suffering from the consequences of their own choices, and if it were up to me, they should face even harsher consequences. For them, the current system means endless hard work, barely scraping by, wearing rags, and dying young; yet they keep voting for it and supporting it. Let them have what they choose! Let them work themselves to the bone and let them go hungry!”
These words kept ringing in his ears as he walked through the crowded streets early one fine evening a few days before Christmas. The shops were all brilliantly lighted for the display of their Christmas stores, and the pavements and even the carriageways were thronged with sightseers.
These words kept echoing in his mind as he strolled through the busy streets one nice evening a few days before Christmas. The shops were all brightly lit to showcase their Christmas displays, and the sidewalks and even the roads were packed with onlookers.
Barrington was specially interested in the groups of shabbily dressed men and women and children who gathered in the roadway in front of the poulterers’ and butchers’ shops, gazing at the meat and the serried rows of turkeys and geese decorated with coloured ribbons and rosettes. He knew that to come here and look at these things was the only share many of these poor people would have of them, and he marvelled greatly at their wonderful patience and abject resignation.
Barrington was particularly interested in the groups of poorly dressed men, women, and children who congregated in front of the poultry and butcher shops, staring at the meat and the neatly arranged rows of turkeys and geese adorned with colorful ribbons and rosettes. He realized that for many of these disadvantaged people, merely coming here to look was the only experience they would have of these items, and he was genuinely amazed by their incredible patience and complete resignation.
But what struck him most of all was the appearance of many of the women, evidently working men’s wives. Their faded, ill-fitting garments and the tired, sad expressions on their pale and careworn faces. Some of them were alone; others were accompanied by little children who trotted along trustfully clinging to their mothers’ hands. The sight of these poor little ones, their utter helplessness and dependence, their patched unsightly clothing and broken boots, and the wistful looks on their pitiful faces as they gazed into the windows of the toy-shops, sent a pang of actual physical pain to his heart and filled his eyes with tears. He knew that these children—naked of joy and all that makes life dear—were being tortured by the sight of the things that were placed so cruelly before their eyes, but which they were not permitted to touch or to share; and, like Joseph of old, his heart yearned over his younger brethren.
But what struck him the most was the look of many of the women, clearly the wives of working men. Their worn, ill-fitting clothes and the tired, sad expressions on their pale and exhausted faces. Some were alone; others were with little kids who trotted along trustingly, holding onto their mothers’ hands. The sight of these poor little ones, their complete helplessness and dependence, their patched, unappealing clothes and broken shoes, and the longing looks on their pitiful faces as they stared into the windows of the toy shops, gave him an actual physical pain in his heart and brought tears to his eyes. He knew that these children—devoid of joy and everything that makes life precious—were being tormented by the sight of things that were so cruelly displayed before them, but which they were not allowed to touch or enjoy; and, like Joseph of old, his heart ached for his younger siblings.
He felt like a criminal because he was warmly clad and well fed in the midst of all this want and unhappiness, and he flushed with shame because he had momentarily faltered in his devotion to the noblest cause that any man could be privileged to fight for—the uplifting of the disconsolate and the oppressed.
He felt like a criminal because he was well-dressed and well-fed amidst all this poverty and unhappiness, and he blushed with shame for briefly wavering in his commitment to the most noble cause any person could be privileged to fight for—the upliftment of the sad and the oppressed.
He presently came to a large toy shop outside which several children were standing admiring the contents of the window. He recognized some of these children and paused to watch them and to listen to their talk. They did not notice him standing behind them as they ranged to and fro before the window, and as he looked at them, he was reminded of the way in which captive animals walk up and down behind the bars of their cages. These children wandered repeatedly, backwards and forwards from one end of the window to the other, with their little hands pressed against the impenetrable plate glass, choosing and pointing out to each other the particular toys that took their fancies.
He soon arrived at a big toy store, where several kids were gathered, admiring the display in the window. He recognized some of the kids and stopped to watch them and listen to their chatter. They didn't notice him standing behind them as they moved back and forth in front of the window, and as he observed them, he was reminded of how captive animals pace behind the bars of their cages. These kids wandered repeatedly, back and forth from one end of the window to the other, with their small hands pressed against the thick glass, selecting and pointing out the toys that caught their interest.
“That’s mine!” cried Charley Linden, enthusiastically indicating a large strongly built waggon. “If I had that I’d give Freddie rides in it and bring home lots of firewood, and we could play at fire engines as well.”
“That’s mine!” shouted Charley Linden, excitedly pointing to a large, sturdy wagon. “If I had that, I’d give Freddie rides in it and bring home a ton of firewood, and we could pretend to be firemen too.”
“I’d rather have this railway,” said Frankie Owen. “There’s a real tunnel and real coal in the tenders; then there’s the station and the signals and a place to turn the engine round, and a red lantern to light when there’s danger on the line.”
“I’d rather have this railway,” said Frankie Owen. “There’s a real tunnel and real coal in the tenders; then there’s the station and the signals and a spot to turn the engine around, and a red lantern to light up when there’s danger on the line.”
“Mine’s this doll—not the biggest one, the one in pink with clothes that you can take off,” said Elsie; “and this tea set; and this needlecase for Mother.”
“Mine’s this doll—not the biggest one, the pink one with clothes that you can take off,” said Elsie; “and this tea set; and this needle case for Mom.”
Little Freddie had let go his hold of Elsie, to whom he usually clung tightly and was clapping his hands and chuckling with delight and desire. “Gee-gee?” he cried eagerly. “Gee-gee. Pwetty Gee-gee! Fweddy want gee-gee!”
Little Freddie had released his grip on Elsie, whom he usually clung to tightly, and was clapping his hands and giggling with excitement and longing. "Horsey?" he exclaimed eagerly. "Horsey. Pretty horsey! Freddie wants horsey!"
“But it’s no use lookin’ at them any longer,” continued Elsie, with a sigh, as she took hold of Freddie’s hand to lead him away. “It’s no use lookin’ at ’em any longer; the likes of us can’t expect to have such good things as them.”
“But it’s pointless to keep staring at them,” Elsie said with a sigh as she grabbed Freddie’s hand to pull him away. “It’s pointless to keep looking at them; people like us can’t expect to have things as nice as they do.”
This remark served to recall Frankie and Charley to the stern realities of life, and turning reluctantly away from the window they prepared to follow Elsie, but Freddie had not yet learnt the lesson—he had not lived long enough to understand that the good things of the world were not for the likes of him; so when Elsie attempted to draw him away he pursed up his underlip and began to cry, repeating that he wanted a gee-gee. The other children clustered round trying to coax and comfort him by telling him that no one was allowed to have anything out of the windows yet—until Christmas—and that Santa Claus would be sure to bring him a gee-gee then; but these arguments failed to make any impression on Freddie, who tearfully insisted upon being supplied at once.
This comment reminded Frankie and Charley of the harsh realities of life, and as they reluctantly turned away from the window, they got ready to follow Elsie. However, Freddie hadn’t learned that lesson yet—he hadn’t lived long enough to understand that the good things in life weren’t meant for someone like him. So when Elsie tried to pull him away, he pouted and started to cry, insisting that he wanted a pony. The other kids gathered around to try to coax and comfort him, telling him that no one was allowed to have anything from the windows yet—until Christmas—and that Santa Claus would definitely bring him a pony then. But these arguments didn’t have any effect on Freddie, who tearfully demanded to get one right away.
Whilst they were thus occupied they caught sight of Barrington, whom they hailed with evident pleasure born of the recollection of certain gifts of pennies and cakes they had at different times received from him.
While they were busy, they spotted Barrington, and they called out to him with clear joy, remembering the pennies and cakes they had received from him at various times.
“Hello, Mr Barrington,” said the two boys in a breath.
“Hey, Mr. Barrington,” said the two boys in unison.
“Hello,” replied Barrington, as he patted the baby’s cheek. “What’s the matter here? What’s Freddie crying for?”
“Hi,” said Barrington, as he gently patted the baby's cheek. “What’s going on? Why is Freddie crying?”
“He wants that there ’orse, mister, the one with the real “air on,” said Charley, smiling indulgently like a grown-up person who realized the absurdity of the demand.
“He wants that horse, mister, the one with the real hair,” said Charley, smiling indulgently like an adult who understood how ridiculous the request was.
“Fweddie want gee-gee,” repeated the child, taking hold of Barrington’s hand and returning to the window. “Nice gee-gee.”
“Freddie wants a horse,” repeated the child, grabbing Barrington’s hand and going back to the window. “Nice horse.”
“Tell him that Santa Claus’ll bring it to him on Christmas,” whispered Elsie. “P’raps he’ll believe you and that’ll satisfy him, and he’s sure to forget all about it in a little while.”
“Tell him that Santa Claus will bring it to him on Christmas,” whispered Elsie. “Maybe he’ll believe you and that will satisfy him, and he’s bound to forget all about it in a little while.”
“Are you still out of work, Mr Barrington?” inquired Frankie.
“Are you still unemployed, Mr. Barrington?” asked Frankie.
“No,” replied Barrington slowly. “I’ve got something to do at last.”
“No,” Barrington replied slowly. “I finally have something to do.”
“Well, that’s a good job, ain’t it?” remarked Charley.
“Well, that’s a good job, isn’t it?” Charley said.
“Yes,” said Barrington. “And whom do you think I’m working for?”
“Yes,” said Barrington. “And who do you think I’m working for?”
“Who?”
“Who’s that?”
“Santa Claus.”
"Santa."
“Santa Claus!” echoed the children, opening their eyes to the fullest extent.
“Santa Claus!” the children shouted, their eyes wide open.
“Yes,” continued Barrington, solemnly. “You know, he is a very old man now, so old that he can’t do all his work himself. Last year he was so tired that he wasn’t able to get round to all the children he wanted to give things to, and consequently a great many of them never got anything at all. So this year he’s given me a job to help him. He’s given me some money and a list of children’s names, and against their names are written the toys they are to have. My work is to buy the things and give them to the boys and girls whose names are on the list.”
“Yes,” Barrington continued seriously. “You know, he’s really old now, so old that he can’t handle all his tasks by himself. Last year he was so worn out that he couldn’t make it to all the kids he wanted to give gifts to, and as a result, a lot of them didn’t get anything at all. So this year he’s assigned me to help him out. He’s given me some money and a list of kids’ names, along with the toys they’re supposed to receive. My job is to buy the gifts and deliver them to the boys and girls on the list.”
The children listened to this narrative with bated breath. Incredible as the story seemed, Barrington’s manner was so earnest as to almost compel belief.
The kids listened to this story with their hearts racing. As unbelievable as the tale sounded, Barrington's serious tone made it hard not to believe.
“Really and truly, or are you only having a game?” said Frankie at length, speaking almost in a whisper. Elsie and Charley maintained an awestruck silence, while Freddie beat upon the glass with the palms of his hands.
“Seriously, or are you just playing around?” Frankie finally said, almost whispering. Elsie and Charley stayed silent in amazement, while Freddie pounded on the glass with his hands.
“Really and truly,” replied Barrington unblushingly as he took out his pocket-book and turned over the leaves. “I’ve got the list here; perhaps your names are down for something.”
“Honestly,” Barrington said confidently as he pulled out his wallet and flipped through the pages. “I have the list right here; maybe your names are on it for something.”
The three children turned pale and their hearts beat violently as they listened wide-eyed for what was to follow.
The three kids went pale and their hearts raced as they listened with wide eyes for what was coming next.
“Let me see,” continued Barrington, scanning the pages of the book, “Why, yes, here they are! Elsie Linden, one doll with clothes that can be taken off, one tea-set, one needlecase. Freddie Easton, one horse with real hair. Charley Linden, one four-wheeled waggon full of groceries. Frankie Owen, one railway with tunnel, station, train with real coal for engine, signals, red lamp and place to turn the engines round.”
“Let me see,” Barrington said, looking through the pages of the book. “Oh, yes, here they are! Elsie Linden, one doll with removable clothes, one tea set, one needle case. Freddie Easton, one horse with real hair. Charley Linden, one four-wheeled wagon full of groceries. Frankie Owen, one train set with a tunnel, station, train with real coal for the engine, signals, red lamp, and a place to turn the engines around.”
Barrington closed the book: “So you may as well have your things now,” he continued, speaking in a matter-of-fact tone. “We’ll buy them here; it will save me a lot of work. I shall not have the trouble of taking them round to where you live. It’s lucky I happened to meet you, isn’t it?”
Barrington closed the book. “You might as well take your things now,” he said in a straightforward tone. “We’ll buy them here; it’ll save me a lot of effort. I won’t have to deal with bringing them to your place. It’s lucky I ran into you, right?”
The children were breathless with emotion, but they just managed to gasp out that it was—very lucky.
The kids were so overwhelmed with emotion that they could barely gasp out that it was—really lucky.
As they followed him into the shop, Freddie was the only one of the four whose condition was anything like normal. All the others were in a half-dazed state. Frankie was afraid that he was not really awake at all. It couldn’t be true; it must be a dream.
As they walked into the shop behind him, Freddie was the only one of the four who seemed anything close to normal. The others were all in a half-dazed state. Frankie was worried that he wasn't really awake at all. It couldn’t be real; it had to be a dream.
In addition to the hair, the horse was furnished with four wheels. They did not have it made into a parcel, but tied some string to it and handed it over to its new owner. The elder children were scarcely conscious of what took place inside the shop; they knew that Barrington was talking to the shopman, but they did not hear what was said—the sound seemed far away and unreal.
In addition to the hair, the horse was fitted with four wheels. They didn’t package it up but tied some string to it and handed it over to its new owner. The older kids barely noticed what was happening inside the shop; they knew Barrington was talking to the shopkeeper, but they couldn’t hear what was being said—the sound felt distant and unreal.
The shopman made the doll, the tea-set and the needlecase into one parcel and gave it to Elsie. The railway, in a stout cardboard box, was also wrapped up in brown paper, and Frankie’s heart nearly burst when the man put the package into his arms.
The shopkeeper wrapped the doll, the tea set, and the needle case into one package and handed it to Elsie. The train set, in a sturdy cardboard box, was also wrapped in brown paper, and Frankie felt like his heart was going to explode when the man placed the package in his arms.
When they came out of the toy shop they said “Good night” to Frankie, who went off carrying his parcel very carefully and feeling as if he were walking on air. The others went into a provision merchant’s near by, where the groceries were purchased and packed into the waggon.
When they left the toy store, they said "Good night" to Frankie, who walked away carefully with his package, feeling like he was walking on air. The others went into a nearby grocery store, where they bought groceries and loaded them into the wagon.
Then Barrington, upon referring to the list to make quite certain that he had not forgotten anything, found that Santa Claus had put down a pair of boots each for Elsie and Charley, and when they went to buy these, it was seen that their stockings were all ragged and full of holes, so they went to a draper’s and bought some stocking also. Barrington said that although they were not on the list, he was sure Santa Claus would not object—he had probably meant them to have them, but had forgotten to put them down.
Then Barrington checked the list to make sure he hadn't overlooked anything and noticed that Santa Claus had included a pair of boots for both Elsie and Charley. When they went to buy these, they realized their stockings were all torn and full of holes, so they stopped by a store and bought some new stockings too. Barrington said that even though they weren't on the list, he was sure Santa Claus wouldn't mind—he probably intended for them to have them but just forgot to write them down.
Chapter 54
The End
The following evening Barrington called at Owen’s place. He said he was going home for the holidays and had come to say goodbye for a time.
The next evening, Barrington stopped by Owen's place. He mentioned he was heading home for the holidays and wanted to say goodbye for a while.
Owen had not been doing very well during these last few months, although he was one of the few lucky ones who had had some small share of work. Most of the money he earned went for rent, to pay which they often had to go short of food. Lately his chest had become so bad that the slightest exertion brought on fits of coughing and breathlessness, which made it almost impossible to work even when he had the opportunity; often it was only by an almost superhuman effort of will that he was able to continue working at all. He contrived to keep up appearances to a certain extent before Rushton, who, although he knew that Owen was not so strong as the other men, was inclined to overlook it so long as he was able to do his share of work, for Owen was a very useful hand when things were busy. But lately some of the men with whom he worked began to manifest dissatisfaction at having him for a mate. When two men are working together, the master expects to see two men’s work done, and if one of the two is not able to do his share it makes it all the harder for the other.
Owen hadn't been doing well over the last few months, even though he was one of the few fortunate ones who managed to get some work. Most of the money he made went toward rent, and as a result, they often had to skimp on food. Recently, his health had deteriorated to the point where even the slightest effort triggered coughing fits and breathlessness, making it nearly impossible for him to work, even when there was a chance to do so; often, it took an immense effort just for him to keep going. He managed to maintain a decent front in front of Rushton, who, despite knowing that Owen was not as strong as the other men, tended to look the other way as long as Owen could pull his weight, especially since he was a valuable worker when things got busy. However, recently, some of the men he worked with started expressing dissatisfaction about having him as a partner. When two guys are working together, the boss expects to see the combined output of both, and if one isn't pulling his weight, it makes things much harder for the other.
He never had the money to go to a doctor to get advice, but earlier in the winter he had obtained from Rushton a ticket for the local hospital. Every Saturday throughout the year when the men were paid they were expected to put a penny or twopence in the hospital box. Contributions were obtained in this way from every firm and workshop in the town. The masters periodically handed these boxes over to the hospital authorities and received in return some tickets which they gave to anyone who needed and asked for them. The employer had to fill in the ticket or application form with the name and address of the applicant, and to certify that in his opinion the individual was a deserving case, “suitable to receive this charity”. In common with the majority of workmen, Owen had a sort of horror of going for advice to this hospital, but he was so ill that he stifled his pride and went. It happened that it turned out to be more expensive than going to a private doctor, for he had to be at the hospital at a certain hour on a particular morning. To do this he had to stay away from work. The medicine they prescribed and which he had to buy did him no good, for the truth was that it was not medicine that he—like thousands of others—needed, but proper conditions of life and proper food; things that had been for years past as much out of his reach as if he had been dying alone in the middle of a desert.
He never had the money to visit a doctor for advice, but earlier in the winter he had gotten a ticket for the local hospital from Rushton. Every Saturday throughout the year, when the guys got paid, they were expected to drop a penny or two into the hospital box. Contributions were gathered this way from every company and workshop in town. The bosses would periodically hand these boxes over to the hospital authorities and, in return, receive some tickets to give to anyone who needed one and asked for it. The employer had to fill out the ticket or application form with the name and address of the person requesting it and confirm that, in their opinion, the individual deserved “to receive this charity.” Like most workers, Owen had a sort of dread about seeking advice at the hospital, but he was so ill that he swallowed his pride and went. Unfortunately, it turned out to be more expensive than seeing a private doctor because he had to be at the hospital at a specific time on a particular morning. To do this, he had to miss work. The medicine they prescribed, which he had to buy, didn’t help him at all; the truth was that what he—like thousands of others—really needed was proper living conditions and proper food; things that had been out of reach for years, as if he were suffering alone in the middle of a desert.
Occasionally Nora contrived—by going without some other necessary—to buy him a bottle of one of the many much-advertised medicines; but although some of these things were good she was not able to buy enough for him to derive any benefit from them.
Occasionally, Nora figured out a way—by giving up something else she needed—to buy him a bottle of one of the many heavily advertised medicines; but even though some of these were effective, she couldn't buy enough for him to actually gain any benefit from them.
Although he was often seized with a kind of terror of the future—of being unable to work—he fought against these feelings and tried to believe that when the weather became warmer he would be all right once more.
Though he often felt a kind of fear about the future—worrying that he wouldn't be able to work—he battled against these feelings and tried to convince himself that when the weather turned warmer, he would be okay again.
When Barrington came in Owen was sitting in a deck-chair by the fire in the sitting-room. He had been to work that day with Harlow, washing off the ceilings and stripping the old paper from the walls of two rooms in Rushton’s home, and he looked very haggard and exhausted.
When Barrington walked in, Owen was sitting in a deck chair by the fire in the living room. He had spent the day working with Harlow, washing the ceilings and removing the old wallpaper from the walls of two rooms in Rushton’s house, and he looked very worn out and tired.
“I have never told you before,” said Barrington, after they had been talking for a while, “but I suppose you have guessed that I did not work for Rushton because I needed to do so in order to live. I just wanted to see things for myself; to see life as it is lived by the majority. My father is a wealthy man. He doesn’t approve of my opinions, but at the same time he does not interfere with me for holding them, and I have a fairly liberal allowance which I spent in my own way. I’m going to pass Christmas with my own people, but in the spring I intend to fit out a Socialist Van, and then I shall come back here. We’ll have some of the best speakers in the movement; we’ll hold meetings every night; we’ll drench the town with literature, and we’ll start a branch of the party.”
“I’ve never told you this before,” Barrington said after they had been talking for a while, “but I guess you’ve figured out that I didn’t work for Rushton because I had to in order to survive. I just wanted to experience things for myself; to see life as most people live it. My father is rich. He doesn’t agree with my views, but he also doesn’t interfere with me for having them, and I get a pretty generous allowance that I spend as I please. I’m going to spend Christmas with my family, but in the spring, I plan to set up a Socialist Van and then return here. We’ll have some of the best speakers in the movement; we’ll hold meetings every night; we’ll flood the town with literature, and we’ll start a local branch of the party.”
Owen’s eye kindled and his pale face flushed.
Owen's eyes lit up and his pale face turned red.
“I shall be able to do something to advertise the meetings,” he said. “For instance, I could paint some posters and placards.”
“I can do something to promote the meetings,” he said. “For example, I could create some posters and signs.”
“And I can help to give away handbills,” chimed in Frankie, looking up from the floor, where he was seated working the railway. “I know a lot of boys who’ll come along with me to put ’em under the doors as well.”
“And I can help hand out flyers,” Frankie chimed in, looking up from the floor, where he was seated working on the railway. “I know a lot of guys who’ll come with me to slip them under the doors too.”
They were in the sitting-room and the door was shut. Mrs Owen was in the next room with Ruth. While the two men were talking the front-door bell was heard to ring and Frankie ran out to see who it was, closing the door after him. Barrington and Owen continued their conversation, and from time to time they could hear a low murmur of voices from the adjoining room. After a little while they heard some one go out by the front door, and almost immediately afterward Frankie—wild with excitement, burst into the room, crying out:
They were in the living room with the door closed. Mrs. Owen was in the next room with Ruth. While the two men were talking, the front doorbell rang, and Frankie ran out to see who it was, closing the door behind him. Barrington and Owen kept their conversation going, and occasionally they could hear quiet voices from the nearby room. After a little while, they heard someone leave through the front door, and almost immediately afterward, Frankie—caught up in excitement—broke into the room, shouting:
“Dad and Mr Barrington! Three cheers!” And he began capering gleefully about the room, evidently transported with joy.
“Dad and Mr. Barrington! Three cheers!” He started dancing around the room happily, clearly overwhelmed with joy.
“What are the cheers to be for?” inquired Barrington, rather mystified by this extraordinary conduct.
“What are the cheers for?” Barrington asked, quite puzzled by this strange behavior.
“Mr Easton came with Freddie to see Mrs Easton, and she’s gone home again with them,” replied Freddie, “and—she’s given the baby to us for a Christmas box!”
“Mr. Easton came with Freddie to see Mrs. Easton, and she’s gone home with them again,” replied Freddie, “and—she’s given the baby to us for a Christmas gift!”
Barrington was already familiar with the fact of Easton’s separation from his wife, and Owen now told him the Story of their reconciliation.
Barrington already knew that Easton was separated from his wife, and Owen now shared the story of their reconciliation.
Barrington took his leave shortly afterwards. His train left at eight; it was already nearly half past seven, and he said he had a letter to write. Nora brought the baby in to show him before he went, and then she helped Frankie to put on his overcoat, for Barrington had requested that the boy might be permitted to go a little way with him.
Barrington said goodbye soon after. His train was scheduled to leave at eight; it was already almost half past seven, and he mentioned he needed to write a letter. Nora brought the baby in to show him before he left, and then she helped Frankie put on his overcoat, since Barrington had asked if the boy could walk with him for a bit.
There was a stationer’s shop at the end of the street. He went in here and bought a sheet of notepaper and an envelope, and, having borrowed the pen and ink, wrote a letter which he enclosed in the envelope with the two other pieces that he took out of his pocketbook. Having addressed the letter he came out of the shop; Frankie was waiting for him outside. He gave the letter to the boy.
There was a stationery store at the end of the street. He went inside and bought a sheet of notepaper and an envelope, and after borrowing a pen and ink, he wrote a letter which he put in the envelope along with two other items he took out of his wallet. After addressing the letter, he came out of the store; Frankie was waiting for him outside. He handed the letter to the boy.
“I want you to take this straight home and give it to your dad. I don’t want you to stop to play or even to speak to anyone till you get home.”
“I want you to take this straight home and give it to your dad. Don’t stop to play or talk to anyone until you get home.”
“All right,” replied Frankie. “I won’t stop running all the way.”
“All right,” Frankie said. “I won’t stop running the whole way.”
Barrington hesitated and looked at his watch. “I think I have time to go back with you as far as your front door,” he said, “then I shall be quite sure you haven’t lost it.”
Barrington paused and checked his watch. “I think I can walk back with you to your front door,” he said, “then I’ll be completely sure you haven’t lost it.”
They accordingly retraced their steps and in a few minutes reached the entrance to the house. Barrington opened the door and stood for a moment in the hall watching Frankie ascend the stairs.
They retraced their steps and, within a few minutes, arrived at the entrance to the house. Barrington opened the door and paused in the hall, watching Frankie go up the stairs.
“Will your train cross over the bridge?” inquired the boy, pausing and looking over the banisters.
“Is your train going to cross the bridge?” the boy asked, stopping and looking over the railing.
“Yes. Why?”
"Yeah. Why?"
“Because we can see the bridge from our front-room window, and if you were to wave your handkerchief as your train goes over the bridge, we could wave back.”
“Since we can see the bridge from our living room window, if you wave your handkerchief while your train crosses the bridge, we could wave back.”
“All right. I’ll do so. Goodbye.”
“All right. I’ll do it. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye.”
"See you later."
Barrington waited till he heard Frankie open and close the door of Owen’s flat, and then he hurried away. When he gained the main road he heard the sound of singing and saw a crowd at the corner of one of the side-streets. As he drew near he perceived that it was a religious meeting.
Barrington waited until he heard Frankie open and close the door of Owen’s flat, and then he rushed away. Once he reached the main road, he heard singing and noticed a crowd at the corner of one of the side streets. As he got closer, he realized it was a religious meeting.
There was a lighted lamp on a standard in the centre of the crowd and on the glass of this lamp was painted: “Be not deceived: God is not mocked.”
There was a lamp lit on a stand in the middle of the crowd, and on the glass of this lamp was written: “Don’t be fooled: God is not mocked.”
Mr Rushton was preaching in the centre of the ring. He said that they had come hout there that evening to tell the Glad Tidings of Great Joy to hall those dear people that he saw standing around. The members of the Shining Light Chapel—to which he himself belonged—was the organizers of that meeting but it was not a sectarian meeting, for he was ’appy to say that several members of other denominations was there co-operating with them in the good work. As he continued his address, Rushton repeatedly referred to the individuals who composed the crowd as his “Brothers and Sisters” and, strange to say, nobody laughed.
Mr. Rushton was preaching in the center of the ring. He said that they had come out there that evening to share the Glad Tidings of Great Joy with all those dear people he saw standing around. The members of the Shining Light Chapel—to which he belonged—were the organizers of that meeting, but it wasn't a sectarian gathering, as he was happy to say that several members of other denominations were there cooperating with them in the good work. As he continued his speech, Rushton repeatedly referred to the people in the crowd as his “Brothers and Sisters,” and surprisingly, nobody laughed.
Barrington looked round upon the “Brothers”: Mr Sweater, resplendent in a new silk hat of the latest fashion, and a fur-trimmed overcoat. The Rev. Mr Bosher, Vicar of the Church of the Whited Sepulchre, Mr Grinder—one of the churchwardens at the same place of alleged worship—both dressed in broadcloth and fine linen and glossy silk hats, while their general appearance testified to the fact that they had fared sumptuously for many days. Mr Didlum, Mrs Starvem, Mr Dauber, Mr Botchit, Mr Smeeriton, and Mr Leavit.
Barrington looked around at the "Brothers": Mr. Sweater, looking sharp in a new silk hat that's all the rage, and a fur-trimmed overcoat. The Rev. Mr. Bosher, Vicar of the Church of the Whited Sepulchre, and Mr. Grinder—one of the churchwardens at that same supposed place of worship—were both dressed in fine cloth and luxurious linen, sporting shiny silk hats, and their overall appearance made it clear they had been living it up for quite a while. Mr. Didlum, Mrs. Starvem, Mr. Dauber, Mr. Botchit, Mr. Smeeriton, and Mr. Leavit.
And in the midst was the Rev. John Starr, doing the work for which he was paid.
And in the middle was Rev. John Starr, doing the job he was paid to do.
As he stood there in the forefront of this company, there was nothing in his refined and comely exterior to indicate that his real function was to pander to and flatter them; to invest with an air of respectability and rectitude the abominably selfish lives of the gang of swindlers, slave-drivers and petty tyrants who formed the majority of the congregation of the Shining Light Chapel.
As he stood there at the front of this group, there was nothing in his polished and attractive appearance to suggest that his true job was to pander to and flatter them; to give an impression of respectability and integrity to the shockingly selfish lives of the group of con artists, slave drivers, and petty tyrants who made up most of the congregation of the Shining Light Chapel.
He was doing the work for which he was paid. By the mere fact of his presence there, condoning and justifying the crimes of these typical representatives of that despicable class whose greed and inhumanity have made the earth into a hell.
He was doing the work he was paid for. Just by being there, he was accepting and justifying the actions of these typical representatives of that contemptible class whose greed and cruelty have turned the world into a hell.
There was also a number of “respectable”, well-dressed people who looked as if they could do with a good meal, and a couple of shabbily dressed, poverty-stricken-looking individuals who seemed rather out of place in the glittering throng.
There were also a number of “respectable,” well-dressed people who looked like they could use a good meal, along with a couple of poorly dressed, visibly poor individuals who seemed pretty out of place in the glamorous crowd.
The remainder of the Brothers consisted of half-starved, pale-faced working men and women, most of them dressed in other people’s cast-off clothing, and with broken, patched-up, leaky boots on their feet.
The rest of the Brothers were half-starved, pale-faced workers—men and women—most of whom were wearing other people’s discarded clothing, with broken, patched-up, and leaky boots on their feet.
Rushton having concluded his address, Didlum stepped forward to give out the words of the hymn the former had quoted at the conclusion of his remarks:
Rushton finished his speech, and Didlum stepped up to share the words of the hymn that Rushton had quoted at the end of his remarks:
“Oh, come and jine this ’oly band,
And hon to glory go.”
“Oh, come and join this holy band,
And on to glory go.”
Strange and incredible as it may appear to the reader, although none of them ever did any of the things Jesus said, the people who were conducting this meeting had the effrontery to claim to be followers of Christ—Christians!
Strange and unbelievable as it may seem to the reader, even though none of them ever did anything Jesus said, the people leading this meeting had the nerve to claim to be followers of Christ—Christians!
Jesus said: “Lay not up for yourselves treasure upon earth”, “Love not the world nor the things of the world”, “Woe unto you that are rich—it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.” Yet all these self-styled “Followers” of Christ made the accumulation of money the principal business of their lives.
Jesus said: “Don’t store up treasures on earth,” “Don’t love the world or the things in it,” “Woe to you who are rich—it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven.” Yet all these so-called “Followers” of Christ made accumulating money the main focus of their lives.
Jesus said: “Be ye not called masters; for they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves will not touch them with one of their fingers. For one is your master, even Christ, and ye are all brethren.” But nearly all these alleged followers of the humble Workman of Nazareth claimed to be other people’s masters or mistresses. And as for being all brethren, whilst most of these were arrayed in broadcloth and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day, they knew that all around them thousands of those they hypocritically called their “brethren”, men, women and little children, were slowly perishing of hunger and cold; and we have already seen how much brotherhood existed between Sweater and Rushton and the miserable, half-starved wretches in their employment.
Jesus said, “Don’t let anyone call you masters, because they put heavy burdens on people and make them suffer, but they won’t lift a finger to help. For there is only one Master, even Christ, and you are all brothers.” But almost all these supposed followers of the humble worker from Nazareth claimed to be masters or mistresses over others. And as for being all brothers, while most of them dressed in fine clothes and lived lavishly every day, they knew that around them thousands of those they hypocritically referred to as their “brothers”—men, women, and little children—were slowly dying from hunger and cold. We’ve already seen how much brotherhood there was between Sweater and Rushton and the miserable, half-starved people they exploited.
Whenever they were asked why they did not practise the things Jesus preached, they replied that it is impossible to do so! They did not seem to realize that when they said this they were saying, in effect, that Jesus taught an impracticable religion; and they appeared to forget that Jesus said, “Wherefore call ye me Lord, Lord, when ye do not the things I say?...” “Whosoever heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them not, shall be likened to a foolish man who built his house upon the sand.”
Whenever they were asked why they didn't practice the things Jesus preached, they replied that it was impossible to do so! They didn't seem to realize that by saying this, they were claiming that Jesus taught an unworkable religion; and they appeared to forget that Jesus said, “Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and don’t do what I say?...” “Anyone who hears these words of mine and doesn't act on them is like a foolish person who built
But although none of these self-styled “Followers” of Christ, ever did the things that Jesus said, they talked a great deal about them, and sang hymns, and for a pretence made long prayers, and came out here to exhort those who were still in darkness to forsake their evil ways. And they procured this lantern and wrote a text upon it: “Be not deceived, God is not mocked.”
But even though none of these so-called “Followers” of Christ ever actually did what Jesus said, they talked a lot about it, sang hymns, and pretended to pray for a long time. They came out here to urge those still in darkness to give up their bad ways. They got this lantern and wrote a message on it: “Don’t be fooled, God is not mocked.”
They stigmatized as “infidels” all those who differed from them, forgetting that the only real infidels are those who are systematically false and unfaithful to the Master they pretend to love and serve.
They labeled as “infidels” everyone who disagreed with them, overlooking the fact that the only true infidels are those who are consistently dishonest and unfaithful to the Master they claim to love and serve.
Grinder, having a slight cold, had not spoken this evening, but several other infidels, including Sweater, Didlum, Bosher, and Starr, had addressed the meeting, making a special appeal to the working people, of whom the majority of the crowd was composed, to give up all the vain pleasures of the world in which they at present indulged, and, as Rushton had eloquently put it at the close of his remarks:
Grinder, who had a bit of a cold, hadn’t said anything this evening, but several other non-believers, including Sweater, Didlum, Bosher, and Starr, had spoken to the gathering. They made a strong appeal to the working-class people, who made up most of the crowd, to let go of all the pointless pleasures of the world they were currently enjoying. As Rushton had powerfully stated at the end of his comments:
“Come and jine this ’Oly band and hon to glory go!”
“Come and join this holy band and head to glory!”
As Didlum finished reading out the words, the lady at the harmonium struck up the tune of the hymns, and the disciples all joined in the singing:
As Didlum finished reading the words, the woman at the harmonium started playing the tune of the hymns, and all the disciples joined in the singing:
“Oh, come and join this ’oly band and hon to glory go.”
“Oh, come and join this holy band and head to glory.”
During the singing certain of the disciples went about amongst the crowd distributing tracts. Presently one of them offered one to Barrington and as the latter looked at the man he saw that it was Slyme, who also recognized him at the same instant and greeted him by name. Barrington made no reply except to decline the tract:
During the singing, some of the disciples moved through the crowd handing out brochures. Soon, one of them offered one to Barrington, and when he looked at the man, he realized it was Slyme, who recognized him at the same moment and greeted him by name. Barrington didn’t respond except to decline the brochure:
“I don’t want that—from you,” he said contemptuously.
“I don’t want that—from you,” he said with disdain.
Slyme turned red. “Oh, I know what you’re thinking of,” he said after a pause and speaking in an injured tone; “but you shouldn’t judge anyone too hard. It wasn’t only my fault, and you don’t know ’ow much I’ve suffered for it. If it ’adn’t been for the Lord, I believe I should ’ave drownded myself.”
Slyme blushed. “Oh, I know what you're thinking,” he said after a pause, his tone sounding hurt. “But you shouldn't judge anyone too harshly. It wasn't all my fault, and you have no idea how much I've suffered because of it. If it hadn’t been for the Lord, I think I would have drowned myself.”
Barrington made no answer and Slyme slunk off, and when the hymn was finished Brother Sweater stood forth and gave all those present a hearty invitation to attend the services to be held during the ensuing week at the Chapel of the Shining Light. He invited them there specially, of course, because it was the place with which he was himself connected, but he entreated and begged of them even if they would not come there to go Somewhere; there were plenty of other places of worship in the town; in fact, there was one at the corner of nearly every street. Those who did not fancy the services at the Shining Light could go to the Church of the Whited Sepulchre, but he really did hope that all those dear people whom he saw standing round would go Somewhere.
Barrington stayed silent, and Slyme quietly left. Once the hymn was over, Brother Sweater stepped forward and warmly invited everyone there to join the services happening that week at the Chapel of the Shining Light. He emphasized the invitation because it was his own connection, but he truly pleaded with them that even if they didn’t go there, they should find somewhere else to attend. There were plenty of other places to worship in town; in fact, there was one at almost every street corner. For those who weren’t keen on the Shining Light, they could go to the Church of the Whited Sepulchre, but he really hoped that all the lovely people he saw standing around would go somewhere.
A short prayer from Bosher closed the meeting, and now the reason for the presence of the two poverty-stricken-looking shabbily dressed disciples was made manifest, for while the better dressed and therefore more respectable Brothers were shaking hands with and grinning at each other or hovering round the two clergymen and Mr Sweater, these two poor wretches carried away the harmonium and the lantern, together with the hymn books and what remained of the tracts. As Barrington hurried off to catch the train one of the “Followers” gave him a card which he read by the light of a street lamp—
A brief prayer from Bosher wrapped up the meeting, and the reason for the presence of the two poorly dressed disciples became clear. While the better-dressed and therefore more respectable Brothers were shaking hands, smiling at one another, or lingering around the two clergymen and Mr. Sweater, these two unfortunate souls took away the harmonium, the lantern, the hymn books, and the remaining tracts. As Barrington rushed off to catch the train, one of the “Followers” handed him a card, which he read by the light of a street lamp—
Come and join the Brotherhood
at the Shining Light Chapel
PSA
Every Sunday at 3 o’clock.
Let Brotherly Love Continue.
“Oh come and join this Holy Band
and on to Glory go.”
Come and be a part of the Brotherhood
at the Shining Light Chapel
PSA
Every Sunday at 3 PM.
Let Brotherly Love Continue.
“Oh come and join this Holy Band
and on to Glory go.”
Barrington thought he would rather go to hell—if there were such a place—with some decent people, than share “glory” with a crew like this.
Barrington thought he would prefer to go to hell—if such a place existed—with some decent people than share “glory” with a group like this.
Nora sat sewing by the fireside in the front room, with the baby asleep in her lap. Owen was reclining in the deck-chair opposite. They had both been rather silent and thoughtful since Barrington’s departure. It was mainly by their efforts that the reconciliation between Easton and Ruth had been effected and they had been so desirous of accomplishing that result that they had not given much thought to their own position.
Nora was sitting by the fire in the living room, sewing with the baby asleep in her lap. Owen was leaning back in the deck chair across from her. They had both been pretty quiet and reflective since Barrington left. It was largely due to their efforts that Easton and Ruth had been reconciled, and they had been so eager to achieve that outcome that they hadn't paid much attention to their own situation.
“I feel that I could not bear to part with her for anything now,” said Nora at last breaking the long silence, “and Frankie is so fond of her too. But all the same I can’t feel happy about it when I think how ill you are.”
“I feel like I couldn’t stand to be away from her for anything right now,” Nora finally said, breaking the long silence, “and Frankie loves her so much too. But still, I can’t feel happy about it when I think about how sick you are.”
“Oh, I shall be all right when the weather gets a little warmer,” said Owen, affecting a cheerfulness he did not feel. “We have always pulled through somehow or other; the poor little thing is not going to make much difference, and she’ll be as well off with us as she would have been if Ruth had not gone back.”
“Oh, I’ll be fine once the weather warms up a bit,” said Owen, trying to sound cheerful, even though he didn’t feel that way. “We’ve always managed to get through somehow; the poor little one isn’t going to change much, and she’ll be just as well off with us as she would have been if Ruth hadn’t left.”
As he spoke he leaned over and touched the hand of the sleeping child and the little fingers closed round one of his with a clutch that sent a thrill all through him. As he looked at this little helpless, dependent creature, he realized with a kind of thankfulness that he would never have the heart to carry out the dreadful project he had sometimes entertained in hours of despondency.
As he spoke, he leaned over and gently touched the hand of the sleeping child, and the little fingers wrapped around one of his with a grip that sent a thrill through him. Looking at this small, helpless, dependent creature, he felt a wave of gratitude wash over him, realizing that he would never have the heart to follow through on the terrible plan he had occasionally considered during moments of despair.
“We’ve always got through somehow or other,” he repeated, “and we’ll do so still.”
“We’ve always managed to get by one way or another,” he repeated, “and we’ll keep doing it.”
Presently they heard Frankie’s footsteps ascending the stairs and a moment afterwards the boy entered the room.
Presently, they heard Frankie’s footsteps coming up the stairs, and a moment later, the boy walked into the room.
“We have to look out of the window and wave to Mr Barrington when his train goes over the bridge,” he cried breathlessly. “And he’s sent this letter. Open the window, quick, Dad, or it may be too late.”
“We need to look out the window and wave to Mr. Barrington when his train goes over the bridge,” he shouted, out of breath. “And he sent this letter. Open the window, hurry, Dad, or it might be too late.”
“There’s plenty of time yet,” replied Owen, smiling at the boy’s impetuosity. “Nearly twenty minutes. We don’t want the window open all that time. It’s only a quarter to eight by our clock now, and that’s five minutes fast.”
“There’s plenty of time left,” Owen said, smiling at the boy’s eagerness. “Almost twenty minutes. We don’t want the window to be open that long. It’s only a quarter to eight by our clock now, and that’s five minutes fast.”
However, so as to make quite certain that the train should not run past unnoticed, Frankie pulled up the blind and, rubbing the steam off the glass, took up his station at the window to watch for its coming, while Owen opened the letter:
However, to make sure the train didn't go by unnoticed, Frankie pulled up the blind and, wiping the steam off the glass, took his position at the window to watch for it, while Owen opened the letter:
“Dear Owen,
“Hey Owen,
“Enclosed you will find two bank-notes, one for ten pounds and the other for five. The first I beg you will accept from me for yourself in the same spirit that I offer it, and as I would accept it from you if our positions were reversed. If I were in need, I know that you would willingly share with me whatever you had and I could not hurt you by refusing. The other note I want you to change tomorrow morning. Give three pounds of it to Mrs Linden and the remainder to Bert White’s mother.
“Enclosed you will find two banknotes, one for ten pounds and the other for five. Please accept the first one from me for yourself in the same spirit I’m giving it, just as I would accept it from you if our positions were switched. If I were in need, I know you would happily share whatever you had, and I couldn’t hurt you by refusing. The other note I want you to exchange tomorrow morning. Give three pounds of it to Mrs. Linden and the rest to Bert White’s mother.”
“Wishing you all a happy Xmas and hoping to find you well and eager for the fray when I come back in the spring,
"Wishing you all a happy Christmas and hoping to find you well and ready for the challenge when I come back in the spring,"
“Yours for the cause,
“George Barrington.”
“Yours for the cause,
“George Barrington.”
Owen read it over two or three times before he could properly understand it and then, without a word of comment—for he could not have spoken at that moment to save his life—he passed it to Nora, who felt, as she read it in her turn, as if a great burden had been lifted from her heart. All the undefined terror of the future faded away as she thought of all this small piece of paper made possible.
Owen read it two or three times before he could truly understand it, and then, without saying a word—he couldn’t have spoken at that moment to save his life—he handed it to Nora. As she read it, she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her heart. All the vague fear of the future disappeared as she considered everything this little piece of paper had made possible.
Meanwhile, Frankie, at the window, was straining his eyes in the direction of the station.
Meanwhile, Frankie, at the window, was squinting his eyes towards the station.
“Don’t you think we’d better have the window open now, Dad?” he said at last as the clock struck eight. “The steam keeps coming on the glass as fast as I wipe it off and I can’t see out properly. I’m sure it’s nearly time now; p’raps our clock isn’t as fast as you think it is.”
“Don’t you think we should open the window now, Dad?” he finally said as the clock struck eight. “The steam keeps fogging up the glass as fast as I wipe it away, and I can’t see outside properly. I’m sure it’s almost time now; maybe our clock isn’t as fast as you think it is.”
“All right, we’ll have it open now, so as to be on the safe side,” said Owen as he stood up and raised the sash, and Nora, having wrapped the child up in a shawl, joined them at the window.
“All right, we’ll open it now, just to be safe,” said Owen as he stood up and raised the window, and Nora, having wrapped the child in a shawl, joined them by the window.
“It can’t be much longer now, you know,” said Frankie. “The line’s clear. They turned the red light off the signal just before you opened the window.”
“It can't be much longer now, you know,” Frankie said. “The line's clear. They turned off the red light on the signal just before you opened the window.”
In a very few minutes they heard the whistle of the locomotive as it drew out of the station, then, an instant before the engine itself came into sight round the bend, the brightly polished rails were illuminated, shining like burnished gold in the glare of its headlight; a few seconds afterwards the train emerged into view, gathering speed as it came along the short stretch of straight way, and a moment later it thundered across the bridge. It was too far away to recognize his face, but they saw someone looking out of a carriage window waving a handkerchief, and they knew it was Barrington as they waved theirs in return. Soon there remained nothing visible of the train except the lights at the rear of the guard’s van, and presently even those vanished into the surrounding darkness.
In just a few minutes, they heard the whistle of the train as it pulled out of the station. Then, just before the engine came into view around the bend, the shiny rails glowed, gleaming like polished gold in the beam of its headlights. A few seconds later, the train came into sight, picking up speed as it traveled along the short stretch of track, and moments later, it thundered across the bridge. It was too far away to see his face, but they noticed someone looking out of a carriage window waving a handkerchief, and they recognized it was Barrington as they waved theirs back. Soon, the only thing left to see of the train were the lights at the back of the guard’s van, and eventually, even those disappeared into the dark.
The lofty window at which they were standing overlooked several of the adjacent streets and a great part of the town. On the other side of the road were several empty houses, bristling with different house agents’ advertisement boards and bills. About twenty yards away, the shop formerly tenanted by Mr Smallman, the grocer, who had become bankrupt two or three months previously, was also plastered with similar decorations. A little further on, at the opposite corner, were the premises of the Monopole Provision Stores, where brilliant lights were just being extinguished, for they, like most of the other shops, were closing their premises for the night, and the streets took on a more cheerless air as one after another their lights disappeared.
The large window they were standing by looked out over several nearby streets and a large part of the town. Across the road, there were several vacant houses covered with various real estate agents' signs and flyers. About twenty yards away was the shop that used to be run by Mr. Smallman, the grocer, who had gone bankrupt a couple of months earlier, and it was plastered with similar signs. A little further down, at the opposite corner, were the Monopole Provision Stores, where bright lights were just being turned off, as they, like most other shops, were closing up for the night, and the streets began to feel increasingly gloomy as one by one their lights went out.
It had been a fine day, and during the earlier part of the evening the moon, nearly at the full, had been shining in a clear and starry sky; but a strong north-east wind had sprung up within the last hour; the weather had become bitterly cold and the stars were rapidly being concealed from view by the dense banks of clouds that were slowly accumulating overhead.
It had been a great day, and earlier in the evening the nearly full moon was shining in a clear, starry sky. But a strong northeast wind had picked up in the last hour; the weather turned bitterly cold, and the stars were quickly disappearing from sight behind the thick clouds that were slowly gathering above.
As they remained at the window looking out over this scene for a few minutes after the train had passed out of sight, it seemed to Owen that the gathering darkness was as a curtain that concealed from view the Infamy existing beyond. In every country, myriads of armed men waiting for their masters to give them the signal to fall upon and rend each other like wild beasts. All around was a state of dreadful anarchy; abundant riches, luxury, vice, hypocrisy, poverty, starvation, and crime. Men literally fighting with each other for the privilege of working for their bread, and little children crying with hunger and cold and slowly perishing of want.
As they stood at the window gazing out at the scene for a few minutes after the train disappeared, Owen felt that the growing darkness was like a curtain hiding the horrible truth beyond. In every country, countless armed men were waiting for their leaders to signal them to attack and tear each other apart like wild animals. All around was a terrible chaos; there was an abundance of wealth, luxury, corruption, hypocrisy, poverty, starvation, and crime. Men were literally battling each other for the chance to earn a living, while little children cried from hunger and cold, slowly dying from lack of basic needs.
The gloomy shadows enshrouding the streets, concealing for the time their grey and mournful air of poverty and hidden suffering, and the black masses of cloud gathering so menacingly in the tempestuous sky, seemed typical of the Nemesis which was overtaking the Capitalist System. That atrocious system which, having attained to the fullest measure of detestable injustice and cruelty, was now fast crumbling into ruin, inevitably doomed to be overwhelmed because it was all so wicked and abominable, inevitably doomed to sink under the blight and curse of senseless and unprofitable selfishness out of existence for ever, its memory universally execrated and abhorred.
The dark shadows covering the streets, temporarily hiding their dull and sorrowful look of poverty and hidden pain, along with the thick clouds gathering ominously in the stormy sky, seemed to represent the retribution that was falling upon the Capitalist System. That terrible system, which had reached the highest level of injustice and cruelty, was now quickly falling apart, inevitably destined to be overwhelmed because it was so evil and loathsome, doomed to fade away forever under the weight and curse of pointless and selfish greed, its memory universally despised and condemned.
But from these ruins was surely growing the glorious fabric of the Co-operative Commonwealth. Mankind, awaking from the long night of bondage and mourning and arising from the dust wherein they had lain prone so long, were at last looking upward to the light that was riving asunder and dissolving the dark clouds which had so long concealed from them the face of heaven. The light that will shine upon the world wide Fatherland and illumine the gilded domes and glittering pinnacles of the beautiful cities of the future, where men shall dwell together in true brotherhood and goodwill and joy. The Golden Light that will be diffused throughout all the happy world from the rays of the risen sun of Socialism.
But from these ruins was surely growing the glorious foundation of the Co-operative Commonwealth. Humanity, awakening from the long night of oppression and sorrow, was finally rising from the dust where they had been lying for so long, and beginning to look up to the light that was tearing apart and dissolving the dark clouds that had long hidden the face of heaven from them. The light that will shine upon the world-wide Fatherland and illuminate the golden domes and shining spires of the beautiful cities of the future, where people will live together in true brotherhood, goodwill, and joy. The Golden Light that will spread throughout the happy world from the rays of the risen sun of Socialism.
Appendix
Mugsborough
Mugsborough was a town of about eighty thousand inhabitants, about two hundred miles from London. It was built in a verdant valley. Looking west, north or east from the vicinity of the fountain on the Grand Parade in the centre of the town, one saw a succession of pine-clad hills. To the south, as far as the eye could see, stretched a vast, cultivated plain that extended to the south coast, one hundred miles away. The climate was supposed to be cool in summer and mild in winter.
Mugsborough was a town of around eighty thousand residents, about two hundred miles from London. It was located in a green valley. When you looked west, north, or east from the area around the fountain on the Grand Parade in the center of town, you could see a line of hills covered in pine trees. To the south, as far as the eye could reach, there was a large, cultivated flatland that stretched all the way to the southern coast, a hundred miles away. The climate was thought to be cool in summer and mild in winter.
The town proper nestled in the valley: to the west, the most beautiful and sheltered part was the suburb of Irene: here were the homes of the wealthy residents and prosperous tradespeople, and numerous boarding-houses for the accommodation of well-to-do visitors. East, the town extended up the slope to the top of the hill and down the other side to the suburb of Windley, where the majority of the working classes lived.
The town itself was nestled in the valley: to the west, the prettiest and most sheltered area was the suburb of Irene: this is where the homes of wealthy residents and successful tradespeople were, along with many boarding houses for well-off visitors. To the east, the town spread up the slope to the top of the hill and down the other side to the suburb of Windley, where most of the working-class people lived.
Years ago, when the facilities for foreign travel were fewer and more costly, Mugsborough was a favourite resort of the upper classes, but of late years most of these patriots have adopted the practice of going on the Continent to spend the money they obtain from the working people of England. However, Mugsborough still retained some semblance of prosperity. Summer or winter the place was usually fairly full of what were called good-class visitors, either holidaymakers or invalids. The Grand Parade was generally crowded with well-dressed people and carriages. The shops appeared to be well-patronized and at the time of our story an air of prosperity pervaded the town. But this fair outward appearance was deceitful. The town was really a vast whited sepulchre; for notwithstanding the natural advantages of the place the majority of the inhabitants existed in a state of perpetual poverty which in many cases bordered on destitution. One of the reasons for this was that a great part of the incomes of the tradespeople and boarding-house-keepers and about a third of the wages of the working classes were paid away as rent and rates.
Years ago, when traveling abroad was less accessible and more expensive, Mugsborough was a popular destination for the upper classes. Recently, however, many of these vacationers have chosen to go to Europe to spend the money they earn from England's working people. Still, Mugsborough managed to maintain some appearance of prosperity. Whether in summer or winter, the area was usually filled with what were considered high-class visitors, either vacationers or those recuperating. The Grand Parade was often bustling with well-dressed individuals and carriages. The shops seemed to be thriving, and during the time of our story, a sense of prosperity filled the town. But this attractive exterior was misleading. The town was essentially a large, empty shell; despite its natural advantages, most residents lived in constant poverty, which in many cases was nearly destitute. One reason for this was that a significant portion of the income of shopkeepers and boarding-house owners, along with about a third of the wages of the working class, was spent on rent and taxes.
For years the Corporation had been borrowing money for necessary public works and improvements, and as the indebtedness of the town increased the rates rose in proportion, because the only works and services undertaken by the Council were such as did not yield revenue. Every public service capable of returning direct profit was in the hands of private companies, and the shares of the private companies were in the hands of the members of the Corporation, and the members of the Corporation were in the hands of the four most able and intellectual of their number, Councillors Sweater, Rushton, Didlum and Grinder, each of whom was a director of one or more of the numerous companies which battened on the town.
For years, the Corporation had been borrowing money for essential public works and improvements. As the town's debt grew, the rates increased accordingly because the only projects and services the Council undertook didn’t generate any revenue. Any public service that could provide direct profit was managed by private companies, and the shares of those companies were owned by the Corporation members. The members of the Corporation were influenced by the four most capable and intellectual among them: Councillors Sweater, Rushton, Didlum, and Grinder, each of whom was a director of one or more of the many companies profiting from the town.
The Tramway Company, the Water Works Company, the Public Baths Company, the Winter Gardens Company, the Grand Hotel Company and numerous others. There was, however, one Company in which Sweater, Rushton, Didlum and Grinder had no shares, and that was the Gas Company, the oldest and most flourishing of them all. This institution had grown with the place; most of the original promoters were dead, and the greater number of the present shareholders were non-residents; although they lived on the town, they did not live in it.
The Tramway Company, the Water Works Company, the Public Baths Company, the Winter Gardens Company, the Grand Hotel Company, and many others. However, there was one company that Sweater, Rushton, Didlum, and Grinder didn’t have any shares in, and that was the Gas Company, the oldest and most successful of them all. This company had developed alongside the town; most of the original founders were gone, and most of the current shareholders didn’t live locally; even though they owned property in the town, they weren’t actually living in it.
The profits made by this Company were so great that, being prevented by law from paying a larger dividend than ten percent, they frequently found it a difficult matter to decide what to do with the money. They paid the Directors and principal officials—themselves shareholders, of course—enormous salaries. They built and furnished costly and luxurious offices and gave the rest to the shareholders in the form of Bonuses.
The profits made by this Company were so significant that, limited by law to a maximum dividend of ten percent, they often struggled to decide what to do with the excess money. They paid the Directors and key officials—who were also shareholders—huge salaries. They constructed and equipped expensive and lavish offices and distributed the remainder to the shareholders as Bonuses.
There was one way in which the Company might have used some of the profits: it might have granted shorter hours and higher wages to the workmen whose health was destroyed and whose lives were shortened by the terrible labour of the retort-houses and the limesheds; but of course none of the directors or shareholders ever thought of doing that. It was not the business of the Company to concern itself about them.
There was one way the Company could have used some of the profits: it could have given shorter hours and higher pay to the workers whose health was ruined and whose lives were cut short by the exhausting work in the retort houses and limesheds; but of course, none of the directors or shareholders ever considered doing that. It wasn't the Company's responsibility to care about them.
Years ago, when it might have been done for a comparatively small amount, some hare-brained Socialists suggested that the town should buy the Gas Works, but the project was wrecked by the inhabitants, upon whom the mere mention of the word Socialist had the same effect that the sight of a red rag is popularly supposed to have on a bull.
Years ago, when it could have been accomplished for a relatively small amount, some reckless Socialists proposed that the town should purchase the Gas Works, but the idea was destroyed by the residents, who reacted to the mere mention of the word Socialist as if it were a red flag to a bull.
Of course, even now it was still possible to buy out the Company, but it was supposed that it would cost so much that it was generally considered to be impracticable.
Of course, it was still possible to buy out the Company, but it was believed that it would cost so much that it was widely seen as impractical.
Although they declined to buy the Gas works, the people of Mugsborough had to buy the gas. The amount paid by the municipality to the Company for the public lighting of the town loomed large in the accounts of the Council. They managed to get some of their own back by imposing a duty of two shillings a ton upon coals imported into the Borough, but although it cost the Gas Works a lot of money for coal dues the Company in its turn got its own back by increasing the price of gas they sold to the inhabitants of the town...
Although they chose not to purchase the Gas works, the residents of Mugsborough had to buy gas. The amount paid by the municipality to the Company for public lighting took up a big chunk of the Council's budget. They tried to offset their expenses by imposing a fee of two shillings per ton on coal brought into the Borough, but even though the Gas Works spent a lot on coal fees, the Company managed to recover its losses by raising the price of gas sold to the town's residents...
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