This is a modern-English version of The Dwelling Place of Light — Complete, originally written by Churchill, Winston. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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THE DWELLING-PLACE OF LIGHT





By Winston Churchill





1917



















CHAPTER I

In this modern industrial civilization of which we are sometimes wont to boast, a certain glacier-like process may be observed. The bewildered, the helpless—and there are many—are torn from the parent rock, crushed, rolled smooth, and left stranded in strange places. Thus was Edward Bumpus severed and rolled from the ancestral ledge, from the firm granite of seemingly stable and lasting things, into shifting shale; surrounded by fragments of cliffs from distant lands he had never seen. Thus, at five and fifty, he found himself gate-keeper of the leviathan Chippering Mill in the city of Hampton.

In this modern industrial society we often like to brag about, there's a glacier-like process happening. The confused and helpless—and there are plenty of them—are ripped from their roots, crushed, smoothed over, and left stranded in unfamiliar places. That's how Edward Bumpus was taken from the solid ground of his ancestry, from the firm granite of seemingly stable and lasting things, into shifting shale; surrounded by bits of cliffs from distant lands he had never seen. So, at fifty-five, he found himself as the gatekeeper of the massive Chippering Mill in the city of Hampton.

That the polyglot, smoky settlement sprawling on both sides of an historic river should be a part of his native New England seemed at times to be a hideous dream; nor could he comprehend what had happened to him, and to the world of order and standards and religious sanctions into which he had been born. His had been a life of relinquishments. For a long time he had clung to the institution he had been taught to believe was the rock of ages, the Congregational Church, finally to abandon it; even that assuming a form fantastic and unreal, as embodied in the edifice three blocks distant from Fillmore Street which he had attended for a brief time, some ten years before, after his arrival in Hampton. The building, indeed, was symbolic of a decadent and bewildered Puritanism in its pathetic attempt to keep abreast with the age, to compromise with anarchy, merely achieving a nondescript medley of rounded, knob-like towers covered with mulberry-stained shingles. And the minister was sensational and dramatic. He looked like an actor, he aroused in Edward Bumpus an inherent prejudice that condemned the stage. Half a block from this tabernacle stood a Roman Catholic Church, prosperous, brazen, serene, flaunting an eternal permanence amidst the chaos which had succeeded permanence!

That the diverse, smoky town sprawling on both sides of a historic river was part of his native New England felt at times like a terrible nightmare; he couldn’t understand what had happened to him and to the orderly world of standards and religious beliefs he had been born into. His life had been filled with sacrifices. For a long time, he had held on to the institution he had been taught to believe was everlasting, the Congregational Church, only to finally let it go; this too took on a strange and unreal shape, as represented by the building three blocks away from Fillmore Street which he had attended briefly about ten years earlier, after he arrived in Hampton. The building was indeed symbolic of a fading and confused Puritanism in its sad effort to keep up with modern times, trying to compromise with chaos but only becoming a mixed bag of rounded, knob-like towers covered in mulberry-stained shingles. The minister was flashy and dramatic. He looked like an actor, and he sparked in Edward Bumpus an inherent bias that condemned the theater. Half a block from this church stood a Roman Catholic Church, thriving, bold, and calm, showcasing a lasting presence amidst the chaos that had replaced permanence!

There were, to be sure, other Protestant churches where Edward Bumpus and his wife might have gone. One in particular, which he passed on his way to the mill, with its terraced steeple and classic facade, preserved all the outward semblance of the old Order that once had seemed so enduring and secure. He hesitated to join the decorous and dwindling congregation,—the remains of a social stratum from which he had been pried loose; and—more irony—this street, called Warren, of arching elms and white-gabled houses, was now the abiding place of those prosperous Irish who had moved thither from the tenements and ruled the city.

There were definitely other Protestant churches where Edward Bumpus and his wife could have gone. One in particular, which he passed on his way to the mill, with its tiered steeple and classic facade, maintained all the outward appearance of the old Order that once seemed so lasting and secure. He hesitated to join the proper and shrinking congregation—the remnants of a social class from which he had been pushed away; and—more ironically—this street, called Warren, lined with arching elms and white-gabled houses, was now home to those prosperous Irish who had moved there from the tenements and dominated the city.

On just such a street in the once thriving New England village of Dolton had Edward been born. In Dolton Bumpus was once a name of names, rooted there since the seventeenth century, and if you had cared to listen he would have told you, in a dialect precise but colloquial, the history of a family that by right of priority and service should have been destined to inherit the land, but whose descendants were preserved to see it delivered to the alien. The God of Cotton Mather and Jonathan Edwards had been tried in the balance and found wanting. Edward could never understand this; or why the Universe, so long static and immutable, had suddenly begun to move. He had always been prudent, but in spite of youthful “advantages,” of an education, so called, from a sectarian college on a hill, he had never been taught that, while prudence may prosper in a static world, it is a futile virtue in a dynamic one. Experience even had been powerless to impress this upon him. For more than twenty years after leaving college he had clung to a clerkship in a Dolton mercantile establishment before he felt justified in marrying Hannah, the daughter of Elmer Wench, when the mercantile establishment amalgamated with a rival—and Edward's services were no longer required. During the succession of precarious places with decreasing salaries he had subsequently held a terrified sense of economic pressure had gradually crept over him, presently growing strong enough, after two girls had arrived, to compel the abridgment of the family....It would be painful to record in detail the cracking-off process, the slipping into shale, the rolling, the ending up in Hampton, where Edward had now for some dozen years been keeper of one of the gates in the frowning brick wall bordering the canal,—a position obtained for him by a compassionate but not too prudent childhood friend who had risen in life and knew the agent of the Chippering Mill, Mr. Claude Ditmar. Thus had virtue failed to hold its own.

On a street like this in the once-thriving New England village of Dolton, Edward was born. In Dolton, Bumpus was once a prominent name, rooted there since the seventeenth century, and if you had taken a moment to listen, he would have shared, in an exact yet casual dialect, the history of a family that, based on their long-standing presence and contributions, should have inherited the land, but whose descendants were left to watch it handed over to outsiders. The God of Cotton Mather and Jonathan Edwards had been weighed and found lacking. Edward could never grasp this, or why the Universe, which had been so stable and unchanging, had suddenly started to shift. He had always been cautious, but despite having youthful "advantages," including a so-called education from a sectarian college on a hill, he had never learned that while caution might thrive in a stable world, it is a pointless quality in a changing one. Even experience failed to teach him this lesson. For over twenty years after leaving college, he had held onto a clerk position in a Dolton store before he felt it was time to marry Hannah, the daughter of Elmer Wench, after the store merged with a competitor and Edward's job was no longer needed. Throughout a series of unstable jobs with lower pay, he lived with a constant sense of financial pressure that gradually grew stronger, especially after having two daughters, forcing the family to make sacrifices. It would be painful to detail the breakdown process, the slipping away, the decline, ending up in Hampton, where Edward had now been the gatekeeper for one of the gates in the grim brick wall along the canal for about twelve years—a position arranged for him by a kind but not very wise childhood friend who had succeeded in life and knew Mr. Claude Ditmar, the agent of the Chippering Mill. This is how virtue failed to prevail.

One might have thought in all these years he had sat within the gates staring at the brick row of the company's boarding houses on the opposite bank of the canal that reflection might have brought a certain degree of enlightenment. It was not so. The fog of Edward's bewilderment never cleared, and the unformed question was ever clamouring for an answer—how had it happened? Job's cry. How had it happened to an honest and virtuous man, the days of whose forebears had been long in the land which the Lord their God had given them? Inherently American, though lacking the saving quality of push that had been the making of men like Ditmar, he never ceased to regard with resentment and distrust the hordes of foreigners trooping between the pillars, though he refrained from expressing these sentiments in public; a bent, broad shouldered, silent man of that unmistakable physiognomy which, in the seventeenth century, almost wholly deserted the old England for the new. The ancestral features were there, the lips—covered by a grizzled moustache moulded for the precise formation that emphasizes such syllables as el, the hooked nose and sallow cheeks, the grizzled brows and grey eyes drawn down at the corners. But for all its ancestral strength of feature, it was a face from which will had been extracted, and lacked the fire and fanaticism, the indomitable hardness it should have proclaimed, and which have been so characteristically embodied in Mr. St. Gaudens's statue of the Puritan. His clothes were slightly shabby, but always neat.

One might have thought that after all these years sitting by the gates, staring at the row of company boarding houses across the canal, he might have gained some clarity. But that wasn't the case. Edward's confusion never faded, and the vague question was always demanding an answer—how did this happen? It was Job's cry. How did it happen to a good and virtuous man, whose ancestors had long established themselves in the land God had given them? Inherently American, though lacking the drive that had shaped men like Ditmar, he continued to feel resentment and distrust toward the waves of foreigners passing through the pillars, even though he held back these feelings in public; a stooped, broad-shouldered, silent man with that unmistakable face which, in the seventeenth century, mostly left old England for the new world. The family traits were evident: his lips—hidden behind a grizzled mustache shaped to accentuate certain sounds like "el," the hooked nose and pale cheeks, the grizzled brows and gray eyes that slanted down at the corners. But for all its ancestral strength, his face had a lack of will, missing the fire and passion, the unyielding toughness it should have displayed, which was so vividly captured in Mr. St. Gaudens's statue of the Puritan. His clothes were a bit worn, but always tidy.

Little as one might have guessed it, however, what may be called a certain transmuted enthusiasm was alive in him. He had a hobby almost amounting to an obsession, not uncommon amongst Americans who have slipped downward in the social scale. It was the Bumpus Family in America. He collected documents about his ancestors and relations, he wrote letters with a fine, painful penmanship on a ruled block he bought at Hartshorne's drug store to distant Bumpuses in Kansas and Illinois and Michigan, common descendants of Ebenezer, the original immigrant, of Dolton. Many of these western kinsmen answered: not so the magisterial Bumpus who lived in Boston on the water side of Beacon, whom likewise he had ventured to address,—to the indignation and disgust of his elder daughter, Janet.

As little as anyone might have suspected, there was a certain transformed enthusiasm in him. He had a hobby that was almost an obsession, which isn't uncommon among Americans who have fallen down the social ladder. It was the Bumpus Family in America. He collected documents about his ancestors and relatives, and he wrote letters in a careful, painstaking handwriting on a ruled pad he bought at Hartshorne's drugstore to distant Bumpuses in Kansas, Illinois, and Michigan, common descendants of Ebenezer, the original immigrant from Dolton. Many of these western relatives wrote back; however, the prominent Bumpus living in Boston by the waterfront, whom he also dared to contact, did not respond—much to the frustration and disgust of his older daughter, Janet.

“Why are you so proud of Ebenezer?” she demanded once, scornfully.

“Why are you so proud of Ebenezer?” she asked sharply.

“Why? Aren't we descended from him?”

“Why? Aren't we related to him?”

“How many generations?”

"How many generations are there?"

“Seven,” said Edward, promptly, emphasizing the last syllable.

“Seven,” Edward said, emphasizing the last syllable.

Janet was quick at figures. She made a mental calculation.

Janet was good with numbers. She did the math in her head.

“Well, you've got one hundred and twenty-seven other ancestors of Ebenezer's time, haven't you?”

“Well, you have one hundred and twenty-seven other ancestors from Ebenezer's time, right?”

Edward was a little surprised. He had never thought of this, but his ardour for Ebenezer remained undampened. Genealogy—his own—had become his religion, and instead of going to church he spent his Sunday mornings poring over papers of various degrees of discolouration, making careful notes on the ruled block.

Edward was a bit surprised. He had never considered this before, but his passion for Ebenezer was still strong. Genealogy—his own—had become his religion, and instead of going to church, he spent his Sunday mornings going through papers of various levels of fading, making detailed notes on the lined pages.

This consciousness of his descent from good American stock that had somehow been deprived of its heritage, while a grievance to him, was also a comfort. It had a compensating side, in spite of the lack of sympathy of his daughters and his wife. Hannah Bumpus took the situation more grimly: she was a logical projection in a new environment of the religious fatalism of ancestors whose God was a God of vengeance. She did not concern herself as to what all this vengeance was about; life was a trap into which all mortals walked sooner or later, and her particular trap had a treadmill,—a round of household duties she kept whirling with an energy that might have made their fortunes if she had been the head of the family. It is bad to be a fatalist unless one has an incontrovertible belief in one's destiny,—which Hannah had not. But she kept the little flat with its worn furniture,—which had known so many journeys—as clean as a merchant ship of old Salem, and when it was scoured and dusted to her satisfaction she would sally forth to Bonnaccossi's grocery and provision store on the corner to do her bargaining in competition with the Italian housewives of the neighborhood. She was wont, indeed, to pause outside for a moment, her quick eye encompassing the coloured prints of red and yellow jellies cast in rounded moulds, decked with slices of orange, the gaudy boxes of cereals and buckwheat flour, the “Brookfield” eggs in packages. Significant, this modern package system, of an era of flats with little storage space. She took in at a glance the blue lettered placard announcing the current price of butterine, and walked around to the other side of the store, on Holmes Street, where the beef and bacon hung, where the sidewalk stands were filled, in the autumn, with cranberries, apples, cabbages, and spinach.

This awareness of his background from good American roots that had somehow lost its heritage was both a grievance and a comfort for him. Even though his daughters and wife didn’t sympathize, it had its upsides. Hannah Bumpus viewed the situation more seriously: she was a logical reflection of her ancestors' religious fatalism in a new setting where their God was one of vengeance. She didn't care about the reasons behind this vengeance; life was a trap that all mortals eventually fall into, and her particular trap had a treadmill—an endless cycle of household chores she tackled with an energy that could have made them wealthy if she were the head of the family. It’s tough to be a fatalist unless you firmly believe in your destiny—which Hannah did not. But she kept the little apartment with its worn furniture, which had seen so many journeys, as clean as an old Salem merchant ship, and when she had scrubbed and dusted to her satisfaction, she would head out to Bonnaccossi's grocery and provision store on the corner to bargain with the Italian housewives in the neighborhood. She often paused outside for a moment, her sharp eye taking in the colorful displays of red and yellow jellies in rounded molds, adorned with orange slices, the vibrant boxes of cereals and buckwheat flour, and the “Brookfield” eggs in packages. This modern packaging system was significant in an era of apartments with little storage space. She quickly noted the blue-lettered sign announcing the current price of butterine and walked around to the other side of the store, on Holmes Street, where the beef and bacon hung and the sidewalk stands were filled in the autumn with cranberries, apples, cabbages, and spinach.

With little outer complaint she had adapted herself to the constantly lowering levels to which her husband had dropped, and if she hoped that in Fillmore Street they had reached bottom, she did not say so. Her unbetrayed regret was for the loss of what she would have called “respectability”; and the giving up, long ago, in the little city which had been their home, of the servant girl had been the first wrench. Until they came to Hampton they had always lived in houses, and her adaptation to a flat had been hard—a flat without a parlour. Hannah Bumpus regarded a parlour as necessary to a respectable family as a wedding ring to a virtuous woman. Janet and Lise would be growing up, there would be young men, and no place to see them save the sidewalks. The fear that haunted her came true, and she never was reconciled. The two girls went to the public schools, and afterwards, inevitably, to work, and it seemed to be a part of her punishment for the sins of her forefathers that she had no more control over them than if they had been boarders; while she looked on helplessly, they did what they pleased; Janet, whom she never understood, was almost as much a source of apprehension as Lise, who became part and parcel of all Hannah deemed reprehensible in this new America which she refused to recognize and acknowledge as her own country.

With little outward complaint, she had adjusted to the continually declining situation her husband had created, and although she hoped that in Fillmore Street they had hit rock bottom, she never voiced that thought. Her silent regret was for the loss of what she would have called "respectability"; giving up the servant girl long ago in the small city that had been their home was the first harsh blow. Until they arrived in Hampton, they had always lived in houses, and transitioning to a flat had been difficult—a flat without a living room. Hannah Bumpus believed a living room was as essential to a respectable family as a wedding ring is to a virtuous woman. Janet and Lise were growing up; there would be young men, and no place to meet them except on the sidewalks. Her fears came true, and she never found peace with it. The two girls attended public schools and eventually went to work, and it felt like part of her punishment for her ancestors' sins that she had no more control over them than if they were boarders; while she watched helplessly, they did whatever they wanted. Janet, whom she never understood, was almost as much a source of worry as Lise, who embodied everything Hannah considered wrong in this new America, which she refused to accept as her own country.

To send them through the public schools had been a struggle. Hannah used to lie awake nights wondering what would happen if Edward became sick. It worried her that they never saved any money: try as she would to cut the expenses down, there was a limit of decency; New England thrift, hitherto justly celebrated, was put to shame by that which the foreigners displayed, and which would have delighted the souls of gentlemen of the Manchester school. Every once in a while there rose up before her fabulous instances of this thrift, of Italians and Jews who, ignorant emigrants, had entered the mills only a few years before they, the Bumpuses, had come to Hampton, and were now independent property owners. Still rankling in Hannah's memory was a day when Lise had returned from school, dark and mutinous, with a tale of such a family. One of the younger children was a classmate.

Sending them to public schools had been a struggle. Hannah would lie awake at night, worrying about what would happen if Edward got sick. It bothered her that they never saved any money: no matter how hard she tried to cut expenses, there was a limit to what was decent; New England thrift, once justly celebrated, was overshadowed by the savings displayed by the immigrants, which would have impressed the gentlemen of the Manchester school. Every so often, she'd think of incredible examples of this thrift—Italians and Jews who, as clueless immigrants, had started working in the mills just a few years before the Bumpuses arrived in Hampton, and now were independent homeowners. Still fresh in Hannah's mind was a day when Lise came home from school, angry and sullen, with a story about such a family. One of the younger children was in her class.

“They live on Jordan Street in a house, and Laura has roller skates. I don't see why I can't.”

“They live on Jordan Street in a house, and Laura has roller skates. I don't see why I can't.”

This was one of the occasions on which Hannah had given vent to her indignation. Lise was fourteen. Her open rebellion was less annoying than Janet's silent reproach, but at least she had something to take hold of.

This was one of the times when Hannah had expressed her anger. Lise was fourteen. Her open defiance was less frustrating than Janet's quiet disapproval, but at least she had something to engage with.

“Well, Lise,” she said, shifting the saucepan to another part of the stove, “I guess if your father and I had put both you girls in the mills and crowded into one room and cooked in a corner, and lived on onions and macaroni, and put four boarders each in the other rooms, I guess we could have had a house, too. We can start in right now, if you're willing.”

“Okay, Lise,” she said, moving the saucepan to a different spot on the stove, “I guess if your dad and I had put both you girls to work in the mills, crammed into one room, cooked in a corner, lived on onions and macaroni, and had four renters in the other rooms, we could have had a house, too. We can get started right now, if you're up for it.”

But Lise had only looked darker.

But Lise just looked even dimmer.

“I don't see why father can't make money—other men do.”

“I don’t understand why dad can’t make money—other guys do.”

“Isn't he working as hard as he can to send you to school, and give you a chance?”

“Isn't he doing everything he can to send you to school and give you a chance?”

“I don't want that kind of a chance. There's Sadie Howard at school—she don't have to work. She liked me before she found out where I lived...”

“I don't want that kind of chance. There's Sadie Howard at school—she doesn't have to work. She liked me before she found out where I lived...”

There was an element of selfishness in Hannah's mania for keeping busy, for doing all their housework and cooking herself. She could not bear to have her daughters interfere; perhaps she did not want to give herself time to think. Her affection for Edward, such as it was, her loyalty to him, was the logical result of a conviction ingrained in early youth that marriage was an indissoluble bond; a point of views once having a religious sanction, no less powerful now that—all unconsciously—it had deteriorated into a superstition. Hannah, being a fatalist, was not religious. The beliefs of other days, when she had donned her best dress and gone to church on Sundays, had simply lapsed and left—habits. No new beliefs had taken their place....

There was a bit of selfishness in Hannah's obsession with staying busy, doing all the housework and cooking by herself. She couldn't stand her daughters getting involved; maybe she didn't want to give herself a moment to think. Her feelings for Edward, however limited they were, her loyalty to him, came from a deep-seated belief she developed in her youth that marriage was an unbreakable bond. This view, which once had strong religious backing, was now just a superstition she held unconsciously. Hannah, as a fatalist, was not religious. The beliefs from earlier days when she would dress her best and go to church on Sundays had faded into mere habits. No new beliefs had taken their place...

Even after Janet and Lise had gone to work the household never seemed to gain that margin of safety for which Hannah yearned. Always, when they were on the verge of putting something by, some untoward need or accident seemed to arise on purpose to swallow it up: Edward, for instance, had been forced to buy a new overcoat, the linoleum on the dining-room floor must be renewed, and Lise had had a spell of sickness, losing her position in a flower shop. Afterwards, when she became a saleslady in the Bagatelle, that flamboyant department store in Faber Street, she earned four dollars and a half a week. Two of these were supposed to go into the common fund, but there were clothes to buy; Lise loved finery, and Hannah had not every week the heart to insist. Even when, on an occasional Saturday night the girl somewhat consciously and defiantly flung down the money on the dining-room table she pretended not to notice it. But Janet, who was earning six dollars as a stenographer in the office of the Chippering Mill, regularly gave half of hers.

Even after Janet and Lise went to work, the household never seemed to achieve that sense of security Hannah longed for. Every time they were about to save a little, some unexpected need or accident seemed to come up just to take it away: for example, Edward had to buy a new overcoat, they needed to replace the linoleum in the dining room, and Lise got sick, which caused her to lose her job at the flower shop. Later, when she became a saleslady at the flashy Bagatelle department store on Faber Street, she earned four and a half dollars a week. Two of those dollars were supposed to go into the household fund, but there were clothes to buy; Lise loved nice things, and Hannah didn’t always have the heart to insist on it every week. Even when, on the rare Saturday nights, Lise somewhat consciously and defiantly tossed her money onto the dining table, Hannah pretended not to see it. But Janet, who earned six dollars as a stenographer at the Chippering Mill, consistently gave half of her paycheck.

The girls could have made more money as operatives, but strangely enough in the Bumpus family social hopes were not yet extinct.

The girls could have made more money as agents, but oddly enough, in the Bumpus family, social aspirations were still alive.

Sharply, rudely, the cold stillness of the winter mornings was broken by agitating waves of sound, penetrating the souls of sleepers. Janet would stir, her mind still lingering on some dream, soon to fade into the inexpressible, in which she had been near to the fulfilment of a heart's desire. Each morning, as the clamour grew louder, there was an interval of bewilderment, of revulsion, until the realization came of mill bells swinging in high cupolas above the river,—one rousing another. She could even distinguish the bells: the deep-toned, penetrating one belonged to the Patuxent Mill, over on the west side, while the Arundel had a high, ominous reverberation like a fire bell. When at last the clangings had ceased she would lie listening to the overtones throbbing in the air, high and low, high and low; lie shrinking, awaiting the second summons that never failed to terrify, the siren of the Chippering Mill,—to her the cry of an insistent, hungry monster demanding its daily food, the symbol of a stern, ugly, and unrelenting necessity.

Suddenly and harshly, the cold silence of winter mornings was shattered by waves of sound that pierced the souls of those still asleep. Janet would stir, her mind still caught up in a fading dream where she was close to realizing a deep desire. Each morning, as the noise grew louder, there was a moment of confusion and discomfort until she recognized the sound of mill bells ringing in the high cupolas above the river, one awakening another. She could even identify the bells: the deep, resonant one belonged to the Patuxent Mill on the west side, while the Arundel had a high, ominous tone like a fire bell. When the clanging finally stopped, she would lie there, listening to the resonances echoing in the air, high and low; she would shrink back, anticipating the second call that always terrified her, the siren of the Chippering Mill—which sounded to her like the cry of a relentless, hungry beast demanding its daily feed, a symbol of harsh, ugly necessity.

Beside her in the bed she could feel the soft body of her younger sister cuddling up to her in fright. In such rare moments as this her heart melted towards Lise, and she would fling a protecting arm about her. A sense of Lise's need of protection invaded her, a sharp conviction, like a pang, that Lise was destined to wander: Janet was never so conscious of the feeling as in this dark hour, though it came to her at other times, when they were not quarreling. Quarreling seemed to be the normal reaction between them.

Beside her in bed, she could feel the soft body of her younger sister cuddling up to her in fear. In these rare moments, her heart melted for Lise, and she would wrap a protective arm around her. A sense of Lise's need for protection washed over her, a sharp conviction, like a pang, that Lise was meant to struggle: Janet was never more aware of this feeling than in this dark hour, even though it came to her at other times when they weren't arguing. Fighting seemed to be their usual dynamic.

It was Janet, presently, who would get up, shivering, close the window, and light the gas, revealing the room which the two girls shared together. Against the middle of one wall was the bed, opposite this a travel-dented walnut bureau with a marble top, with an oval mirror into which were stuck numerous magazine portraits of the masculine and feminine talent adorning the American stage, a preponderance of the music hall variety. There were pictures of other artists whom the recondite would have recognized as “movie” stars, amazing yet veridic stories of whose wealth Lise read in the daily press: all possessed limousines—an infallible proof, to Lise, of the measure of artistic greatness. Between one of these movie millionaires and an ex-legitimate lady who now found vaudeville profitable was wedged the likeness of a popular idol whose connection with the footlights would doubtless be contingent upon a triumphant acquittal at the hands of a jury of her countrymen, and whose trial for murder, in Chicago, was chronicled daily in thousands of newspapers and followed by Lise with breathless interest and sympathy. She was wont to stare at this lady while dressing and exclaim:—“Say, I hope they put it all over that district attorney!”

It was Janet who would get up, shivering, close the window, and light the gas, revealing the room that the two girls shared. Against the middle of one wall was the bed, and opposite it was a travel-worn walnut dresser with a marble top, featuring an oval mirror into which were stuck numerous magazine portraits of male and female stars of the American stage, mostly from the music hall scene. There were pictures of other artists whom the more knowledgeable would recognize as “movie” stars, amazing yet true stories of their wealth that Lise read about in the daily news: all had limousines—an undeniable proof, to Lise, of how great they were. Between one of these movie millionaires and a former stage actress who now found success in vaudeville was a picture of a popular idol whose connection to the spotlight would likely depend on a successful acquittal by a jury of her peers, and whose murder trial in Chicago was reported daily in thousands of newspapers, followed by Lise with eager interest and sympathy. She often stared at this lady while getting ready and exclaimed: “I really hope they nail that district attorney!”

To such sentiments, though deeply felt by her sister, Janet remained cold, though she was, as will be seen, capable of enthusiasms. Lise was a truer daughter of her time and country in that she had the national contempt for law, was imbued with the American hero-worship of criminals that caused the bombardment of Cora Wellman's jail with candy, fruit and flowers and impassioned letters. Janet recalled there had been others before Mrs. Wellman, caught within the meshes of the law, who had incited in her sister a similar partisanship.

To such feelings, which her sister deeply experienced, Janet remained indifferent, although she was, as we will see, capable of strong emotions. Lise was a more genuine representative of her time and country in that she shared the national disdain for the law and was influenced by the American idolization of criminals, which led to the bombardment of Cora Wellman's jail with candy, fruit, flowers, and passionate letters. Janet remembered that there had been others before Mrs. Wellman, entangled in the law, who had stirred similar loyalty in her sister.

It was Lise who had given the note of ornamentation to the bedroom. Against the cheap faded lilac and gold wall-paper were tacked photo-engravings that had taken the younger sister's fancy: a young man and woman, clad in scanty bathing suits, seated side by side in a careening sail boat,—the work of a popular illustrator whose manly and womanly “types” had become national ideals.

It was Lise who had added some decoration to the bedroom. Against the cheap, faded lilac and gold wallpaper were pinned photo engravings that had caught the younger sister's attention: a young man and woman, wearing minimal bathing suits, sitting side by side in a wild sailboat—the work of a well-known illustrator whose masculine and feminine "types" had become national symbols.

There were other drawings, if not all by the same hand, at least by the same school; one, sketched in bold strokes, of a dinner party in a stately neo-classic dining-room, the table laden with flowers and silver, the bare-throated women with jewels. A more critical eye than Lise's, gazing upon this portrayal of the Valhalla of success, might have detected in the young men, immaculate in evening dress, a certain effort to feel at home, to converse naturally, which their square jaws and square shoulders belied. This was no doubt the fault of the artist's models, who had failed to live up to the part. At any rate, the sight of these young gods of leisure, the contemplation of the stolid butler and plush footmen in the background never failed to make Lise's heart beat faster.

There were other drawings, and while they might not all be by the same artist, they definitely came from the same style; one was a bold sketch of a dinner party in an elegant neo-classical dining room, the table filled with flowers and silver, and the women adorned with jewels. A more discerning eye than Lise's, looking at this depiction of success, might have noticed that the young men, sharply dressed for the evening, were putting in a lot of effort to seem casual and chatty, which their strong jaws and broad shoulders contradicted. This was probably due to the artist’s models not living up to their roles. Anyway, seeing these young icons of leisure and the stoic butler along with the plush footmen in the background always made Lise’s heart race.

On the marble of the bureau amidst a litter of toilet articles, and bought by Lise for a quarter at the Bagatelle bargain counter, was an oval photograph frame from which the silver wash had begun to rub off, and the band of purple velvet inside the metal had whitened. The frame always contained the current object of Lise's affections, though the exhibits—as Janet said—were subject to change without notice. The Adonis who now reigned had black hair cut in the prevailing Hampton fashion, very long in front and hanging down over his eyes like a Scottish terrier's; very long behind, too, but ending suddenly, shaved in a careful curve at the neck and around the ears. It had almost the appearance of a Japanese wig. The manly beauty of Mr. Max Wylie was of the lantern-jawed order, and in his photograph he conveyed the astonished and pained air of one who has been suddenly seized by an invisible officer of the law from behind. This effect, one presently perceived, was due to the high, stiff collar, the “Torture Brand,” Janet called it, when she and her sister were engaged in one of their frequent controversies about life in general: the obvious retort to this remark, which Lise never failed to make, was that Janet could boast of no beaux at all.

On the marble of the dresser, amidst a mess of beauty products, was an oval photo frame that Lise had picked up for a quarter at the Bagatelle bargain counter. The silver finish was starting to wear off, and the purple velvet inside the frame had faded to white. The frame always held the current crush of Lise, although, as Janet put it, the displays were subject to change without notice. The latest heartthrob had black hair styled in the trendy Hampton look, very long in front, hanging down over his eyes like a Scottish terrier's; it was also very long in the back but ended abruptly, shaved into a neat curve at the neck and around the ears. It almost looked like a Japanese wig. Mr. Max Wylie had a manly beauty defined by a strong jaw, and in his photo, he had the bewildered and pained expression of someone who has just been surprised by an unseen police officer from behind. This effect, one soon noticed, was due to the high, stiff collar that Janet called the “Torture Brand” when she and her sister were having one of their frequent debates about life in general. Lise never missed the chance to retort that Janet didn’t have any suitors at all.

It is only fair to add that the photograph scarcely did Mr. Wylie justice. In real life he did not wear the collar, he was free and easy in his manners, sure of his powers of conquest. As Lise observed, he had made a home-run with her at Slattery's Riverside Park. “Sadie Hartmann was sure sore when I tangoed off with him,” she would observe reminiscently....

It’s only fair to say that the photo didn’t really capture Mr. Wylie well. In person, he didn’t wear the collar; he was relaxed and confident, sure of his ability to charm. As Lise noted, he had totally hit a home run with her at Slattery’s Riverside Park. “Sadie Hartmann was definitely upset when I danced off with him,” she would say with a hint of nostalgia…

It was Lise's habit to slight her morning toilet, to linger until the last minute in bed, which she left in reluctant haste to stand before the bureau frantically combing out kinks of the brown hair falling over her shoulders before jamming it down across her forehead in the latest mode. Thus occupied, she revealed a certain petulant beauty. Like the majority of shop-girls, she was small, but her figure was good, her skin white; her discontented mouth gave her the touch of piquancy apt to play havoc with the work of the world. In winter breakfast was eaten by the light of a rococo metal lamp set in the centre of the table. This was to save gas. There was usually a rump steak and potatoes, bread and “creamery” butterine, and the inevitable New England doughnuts. At six thirty the whistles screeched again,—a warning note, the signal for Edward's departure; and presently, after a brief respite, the heavy bells once more began their clamour, not to die down until ten minutes of seven, when the last of the stragglers had hurried through the mill gates.

It was Lise's routine to neglect her morning preparations, to stay in bed until the last moment, which she left in a hurry to stand at the dresser, frantically untangling the brown hair that fell over her shoulders before pushing it down across her forehead in the latest style. In that moment, she showed a certain sulky beauty. Like most shop girls, she was petite, but her figure was good, her skin fair; her dissatisfied mouth gave her a hint of spice that could disrupt the world's work. In winter, breakfast was eaten under the light of a fancy metal lamp in the center of the table to save on gas. Breakfast usually consisted of a rump steak and potatoes, bread, and “creamery” butter substitute, along with the usual New England doughnuts. At six-thirty, the whistles shrieked again—a warning, signaling Edward's departure; and soon, after a brief pause, the heavy bells began their loud ringing once more, continuing until ten minutes to seven, when the last of the latecomers rushed through the mill gates.

The Bumpus flat included the second floor of a small wooden house whose owner had once been evilly inspired to paint it a livid clay-yellow—as though insisting that ugliness were an essential attribute of domesticity. A bay ran up the two stories, and at the left were two narrow doorways, one for each flat. On the right the house was separated from its neighbour by a narrow interval, giving but a precarious light to the two middle rooms, the diningroom and kitchen. The very unattractiveness of such a home, however, had certain compensations for Janet, after the effort of early rising had been surmounted, felt a real relief in leaving it; a relief, too, in leaving Fillmore Street, every feature of which was indelibly fixed in her mind, opposite was the blind brick face of a warehouse, and next to that the converted dwelling house that held the shop of A. Bauer, with the familiar replica of a green ten-cent trading stamp painted above it and the somewhat ironical announcement—when boar frost whitened the pavement—that ice-cold soda was to be had within, as well as cigars and tobacco, fruit and candy. Then came a tenement, under which two enterprising Greeks by the name of Pappas—spelled Papas lower down—conducted a business called “The Gentleman,” a tailoring, pressing, and dyeing establishment. Janet could see the brilliantined black heads of the two proprietors bending over their boards, and sometimes they would be lifted to smile at her as she passed. The Pappas Brothers were evidently as happy in this drab environment as they had ever been on the sunny mountain slopes of Hellas, and Janet sometimes wondered at this, for she had gathered from her education in the Charming public school that Greece was beautiful.

The Bumpus flat was on the second floor of a small wooden house that had been poorly painted a bright clay-yellow, as if to assert that ugliness was a necessary part of home life. A staircase ran up the two stories, and on the left were two narrow doorways, one for each flat. On the right, the house was separated from its neighbor by a tight space, allowing only a little light into the two middle rooms—the dining room and kitchen. The unattractiveness of this home had its silver linings for Janet, who felt a genuine sense of relief in leaving it after the struggle of getting up early. She also felt relieved to leave Fillmore Street, every detail of which was permanently etched in her memory. Across from her was the blank brick wall of a warehouse, next to that was a converted house that housed A. Bauer's shop, with a familiar painted green ten-cent trading stamp above it and the somewhat ironic sign—especially when frost covered the pavement—advertising ice-cold soda inside, along with cigars, tobacco, fruit, and candy. Then there was a tenement building, where two enterprising Greeks named Pappas—spelled Papas further down—ran a business called “The Gentleman,” a tailoring, pressing, and dyeing shop. Janet often saw the slick black heads of the two owners bent over their work, and sometimes they would look up and smile at her as she walked by. The Pappas Brothers seemed just as content in this dull setting as they had been on the sunny mountain slopes of Greece, which made Janet curious, as she had learned in her local public school that Greece was beautiful.

She was one of the unfortunate who love beauty, who are condemned to dwell in exile, unacquainted with what they love. Desire was incandescent within her breast. Desire for what? It would have been some relief to know. She could not, like Lise, find joy and forgetfulness at dance halls, at the “movies,” at Slattery's Riverside Park in summer, in “joy rides” with the Max Wylies of Hampton. And beside, the Max Wylies were afraid of her. If at times she wished for wealth, it was because wealth held the magic of emancipation from surroundings against which her soul revolted. Vividly idealized but unconfided was the memory of a seaside village, the scene of one of the brief sojourns of her childhood, where the air was fragrant with the breath of salt marshes, where she recalled, through the vines of a porch, a shining glimpse of the sea at the end of a little street....

She was one of the unfortunate people who love beauty and are doomed to live in exile, unfamiliar with what they love. Desire burned brightly within her. Desire for what? It would have been somewhat comforting to know. She couldn’t, like Lise, find joy and escape in dance halls, at the movies, at Slattery's Riverside Park in the summer, or on joy rides with the Max Wylies of Hampton. Besides, the Max Wylies were intimidated by her. If she sometimes wished for wealth, it was because wealth promised freedom from her surroundings, which her soul rejected. The memory of a seaside village from her childhood was vividly idealized yet unspoken, where the air was filled with the scent of salt marshes, and she remembered, through the vines of a porch, a shining glimpse of the sea at the end of a little street....

Next to Pappas Brothers was the grey wooden building of Mule Spinners' Hall, that elite organization of skilled labour, and underneath it the store of Johnny Tiernan, its windows piled up with stoves and stovepipes, sheet iron and cooking utensils. Mr. Tiernan, like the Greeks, was happy, too: unlike the Greeks, he never appeared to be busy, and yet he throve. He was very proud of the business in which he had invested his savings, but he seemed to have other affairs lying blithely on his mind, affairs of moment to the community, as the frequent presence of the huge policemen, aldermen, and other important looking persons bore witness. He hailed by name Italians, Greeks, Belgians, Syrians, and “French”; he hailed Janet, too, with respectful cheerfulness, taking off his hat. He possessed the rare, warm vitality that is irresistible. A native of Hampton, still in his thirties, his sharp little nose and twinkling blue eyes proclaimed the wisdom that is born and not made; his stiff hair had a twist like the bristles in the cleaning rod of a gun.

Next to Pappas Brothers was the gray wooden building of Mule Spinners' Hall, that exclusive group of skilled workers, and below it was Johnny Tiernan's store, its windows stacked with stoves and stovepipes, sheet metal, and kitchenware. Mr. Tiernan, like the Greeks, was happy too; but unlike them, he never seemed busy, and yet he was thriving. He was very proud of the business he had invested his savings in, but he seemed to have other matters cheerfully on his mind, matters important to the community, as evidenced by the frequent presence of the big policemen, aldermen, and other important-looking folks. He greeted Italians, Greeks, Belgians, Syrians, and “French” by name; he even greeted Janet with respectful cheer, taking off his hat. He had that rare, warm charm that is irresistible. A native of Hampton, still in his thirties, his sharp little nose and twinkling blue eyes showed the wisdom that is innate rather than learned; his stiff hair had a curl like the bristles on a gun cleaning rod.

He gave Janet the odd impression that he understood her. And she did not understand herself!

He gave Janet the strange feeling that he really got her. And she didn't even understand herself!

By the time she reached the Common the winter sun, as though red from exertion, had begun to dispel the smoke and heavy morning mists. She disliked winter, the lumpy brown turf mildewed by the frost, but one day she was moved by a quality, hitherto unsuspected, in the delicate tracery against the sky made by the slender branches of the great elms and maples. She halted on the pavement, her eyes raised, heedless of passers-by, feeling within her a throb of the longing that could be so oddly and unexpectedly aroused.

By the time she got to the Common, the winter sun, looking red from effort, had started to clear away the smoke and heavy morning fog. She didn't like winter, the lumpy brown ground covered in frost, but one day she was touched by an unexpected beauty in the delicate patterns against the sky made by the slender branches of the large elms and maples. She stopped on the pavement, her eyes raised, oblivious to people passing by, feeling a pulse of longing that could spring up in such strange and unexpected ways.

Her way lay along Faber Street, the main artery of Hampton, a wide strip of asphalt threaded with car tracks, lined on both sides with incongruous edifices indicative of a rapid, undiscriminating, and artless prosperity. There were long stretches of “ten foot” buildings, so called on account of the single story, their height deceptively enhanced by the superimposition of huge and gaudy signs, one on top of another, announcing the merits of “Stewart's Amberine Ale,” of “Cooley's Oats, the Digestible Breakfast Food,” of graphophones and “spring heeled” shoes, tobacco, and naphtha soaps. “No, We don't give Trading Stamps, Our Products are Worth all You Pay.” These “ten foot” stores were the repositories of pianos, automobiles, hardware, and millinery, and interspersed amongst them were buildings of various heights; The Bagatelle, where Lise worked, the Wilmot Hotel, office buildings, and an occasional relic of old Hampton, like that housing the Banner. Here, during those months when the sun made the asphalt soft, on a scaffolding spanning the window of the store, might be seen a perspiring young man in his shirt sleeves chalking up baseball scores for the benefit of a crowd below. Then came the funereal, liver-coloured, long-windowed Hinckley Block (1872), and on the corner a modern, glorified drugstore thrusting forth plate glass bays—two on Faber Street and three on Stanley—filled with cameras and candy, hot water bags, throat sprays, catarrh and kidney cures, calendars, fountain pens, stationery, and handy alcohol lamps. Flanking the sidewalks, symbolizing and completing the heterogeneous and bewildering effect of the street were long rows of heavy hemlock trunks, unpainted and stripped of bark, with crosstrees bearing webs of wires. Trolley cars rattled along, banging their gongs, trucks rumbled across the tracks, automobiles uttered frenzied screeches behind startled pedestrians. Janet was always galvanized into alertness here, Faber Street being no place to dream. By night an endless procession moved up one sidewalk and down another, staring hypnotically at the flash-in and flash-out electric, signs that kept the breakfast foods and ales, the safety razors, soaps, and soups incessantly in the minds of a fickle public.

Her path took her along Faber Street, the main street of Hampton, a wide stretch of asphalt lined with car tracks and flanked on both sides by a mix of buildings representing a rapid, indiscriminate, and simplistic kind of prosperity. There were long sections of “ten-foot” buildings, named for their single story, their height deceptively increased by oversized, flashy signs stacked on top of each other, promoting “Stewart's Amberine Ale,” “Cooley's Oats, the Digestible Breakfast Food,” graphophones, and “spring-heeled” shoes, as well as tobacco and naphtha soaps. “No, We don't give Trading Stamps, Our Products are Worth all You Pay.” These “ten-foot” stores sold pianos, cars, hardware, and hats, interspersed with variously sized buildings; The Bagatelle, where Lise worked, the Wilmot Hotel, office buildings, and an occasional remnant of old Hampton, like the building housing the Banner. Here, during the months when the sun softened the asphalt, you might spot a sweating young man in his shirtsleeves on scaffolding, chalking up baseball scores for the crowd below. Then came the dreary, dark-colored, long-windowed Hinckley Block (1872), and on the corner, a modernized drugstore with big glass windows—two on Faber Street and three on Stanley—stocked with cameras, candy, hot water bags, throat sprays, remedies for catarrh and kidney issues, calendars, fountain pens, stationery, and portable alcohol lamps. Flanking the sidewalks, adding to the eclectic and confusing vibe of the street were long rows of heavy hemlock trunks, unpainted and stripped of bark, with crossbeams framing webs of wires. Trolley cars clattered along, ringing their bells, trucks rumbled over the tracks, and cars let out frantic honks that startled pedestrians. Janet was always jolted into alertness here, as Faber Street was no place for daydreaming. At night, an endless stream of people moved up one side of the street and down the other, staring blankly at the flashing electric signs that constantly reminded the unpredictable public about breakfast foods, ales, safety razors, soaps, and soups.

Two blocks from Faber Street was the North Canal, with a granite-paved roadway between it and the monotonous row of company boarding houses. Even in bright weather Janet felt a sense of oppression here; on dark, misty mornings the stern, huge battlements of the mills lining the farther bank were menacing indeed, bristling with projections, towers, and chimneys, flanked by heavy walls. Had her experience included Europe, her imagination might have seized the medieval parallel,—the arched bridges flung at intervals across the water, lacking only chains to raise them in case of siege. The place was always ominously suggestive of impending strife. Janet's soul was a sensitive instrument, but she suffered from an inability to find parallels, and thus to translate her impressions intellectually. Her feeling about the mills was that they were at once fortress and prison, and she a slave driven thither day after day by an all-compelling power; as much a slave as those who trooped in through the gates in the winter dawn, and wore down, four times a day, the oak treads of the circular tower stairs.

Two blocks from Faber Street was the North Canal, with a granite-paved road between it and the monotonous row of company boarding houses. Even in bright weather, Janet felt a sense of heaviness here; on dark, misty mornings, the imposing, massive walls of the mills lining the far bank were truly menacing, filled with protrusions, towers, and chimneys, surrounded by thick walls. If she had traveled to Europe, her imagination might have made a medieval connection—the arched bridges scattered across the water, lacking only chains to raise them in case of an attack. The place always gave off a threatening vibe of approaching conflict. Janet's soul was a sensitive instrument, but she struggled to find comparisons and thus could not translate her impressions into clear thoughts. Her feeling about the mills was that they were both a fortress and a prison, and she was a slave forced there day after day by an overwhelming power; as much a slave as those who filed in through the gates in the winter dawn, wearing down the oak treads of the circular tower stairs four times a day.

The sound of the looms was like heavy rain hissing on the waters of the canal.

The sound of the looms was like heavy rain hissing on the water of the canal.

The administrative offices of a giant mill such as the Chippering in Hampton are labyrinthine. Janet did not enter by the great gates her father kept, but walked through an open courtyard into a vestibule where, day and night, a watchman stood; she climbed iron-shod stairs, passed the doorway leading to the paymaster's suite, to catch a glimpse, behind the grill, of numerous young men settling down at those mysterious and complicated machines that kept so unerring a record, in dollars and cents, of the human labour of the operatives. There were other suites for the superintendents, for the purchasing agent; and at the end of the corridor, on the south side of the mill, she entered the outer of the two rooms reserved for Mr. Claude Ditmar, the Agent and general-in-chief himself of this vast establishment. In this outer office, behind the rail that ran the length of it, Janet worked; from the window where her typewriter stood was a sheer drop of eighty feet or so to the river, which ran here swiftly through a wide canon whose sides were formed by miles and miles of mills, built on buttressed stone walls to retain the banks. The prison-like buildings on the farther shore were also of colossal size, casting their shadows far out into the waters; while in the distance, up and down the stream, could be seen the delicate web of the Stanley and Warren Street bridges, with trolley cars like toys gliding over them, with insect pedestrians creeping along the footpaths.

The administrative offices of a giant mill like the Chippering in Hampton are complicated. Janet didn’t enter through the grand gates her father controlled, but walked through an open courtyard into a lobby where a security guard stood day and night; she climbed iron stairs, passed the doorway leading to the paymaster’s office, catching a glimpse, behind the grill, of several young men settling in at those mysterious and complex machines that accurately tracked the hours worked by the employees in dollars and cents. There were other offices for the superintendents and the purchasing agent; at the end of the hallway, on the south side of the mill, she entered the outer of the two rooms reserved for Mr. Claude Ditmar, the Agent and head of this vast operation. In this outer office, behind the rail that ran the length of it, Janet worked; from the window where her typewriter was, there was a sheer drop of about eighty feet to the river, which flowed quickly through a wide canyon lined with miles of mills built on strong stone walls to hold back the banks. The prison-like buildings on the opposite shore were also massive, casting their shadows far into the water; while in the distance, up and down the stream, you could see the delicate structure of the Stanley and Warren Street bridges, with trolley cars gliding over them like toys, and pedestrians moving slowly along the sidewalks.

Mr. Ditmar's immediate staff consisted of Mr. Price, an elderly bachelor of tried efficiency whose peculiar genius lay in computation, of a young Mr. Caldwell who, during the four years since he had left Harvard, had been learning the textile industry, of Miss Ottway, and Janet. Miss Ottway was the agent's private stenographer, a strongly built, capable woman with immense reserves seemingly inexhaustible. She had a deep, masculine voice, not unmusical, the hint of a masculine moustache, a masculine manner of taking to any job that came to hand. Nerves were things unknown to her: she was granite, Janet tempered steel. Janet was the second stenographer, and performed, besides, any odd tasks that might be assigned.

Mr. Ditmar's immediate team included Mr. Price, an older bachelor known for his proven efficiency and unique talent for calculations, a young Mr. Caldwell who, in the four years since graduating from Harvard, had been getting to know the textile industry, Miss Ottway, and Janet. Miss Ottway was the agent's personal stenographer, a strong, capable woman with seemingly endless reserves of energy. She had a deep, masculine voice that wasn’t unpleasant, a hint of a masculine mustache, and a straightforward, no-nonsense approach to any task she took on. She didn’t know what nerves were; she was solid as rock, while Janet was like tempered steel. Janet was the second stenographer and also handled any odd jobs assigned to her.

There were, in the various offices of the superintendents, the paymaster and purchasing agent, other young women stenographers whose companionship Janet, had she been differently organized, might have found congenial, but something in her refused to dissolve to their proffered friendship. She had but one friend,—if Eda Rawle, who worked in a bank, and whom she had met at a lunch counter by accident, may be called so. As has been admirably said in another language, one kisses, the other offers a cheek: Janet offered the cheek. All unconsciously she sought a relationship rarely to be found in banks and business offices; would yield herself to none other. The young women stenographers in the Chippering Mill, respectable, industrious girls, were attracted by a certain indefinable quality, but finding they made no progress in their advances, presently desisted they were somewhat afraid of her; as one of them remarked, “You always knew she was there.” Miss Lottie Meyers, who worked in the office of Mr. Orcutt, the superintendent across the hall, experienced a brief infatuation that turned to hate. She chewed gum incessantly, Janet found her cheap perfume insupportable; Miss Meyers, for her part, declared that Janet was “queer” and “stuck up,” thought herself better than the rest of them. Lottie Meyers was the leader of a group of four or five which gathered in the hallway at the end of the noon hour to enter animatedly into a discussion of waists, hats, and lingerie, to ogle and exchange persiflages with the young men of the paymaster's corps, to giggle, to relate, sotto voce, certain stories that ended invariably in hysterical laughter. Janet detested these conversations. And the sex question, subtly suggested if not openly dealt with, to her was a mystery over which she did not dare to ponder, terrible, yet too sacred to be degraded. Her feelings, concealed under an exterior of self-possession, deceptive to the casual observer, sometimes became molten, and she was frightened by a passion that made her tremble—a passion by no means always consciously identified with men, embodying all the fierce unexpressed and unsatisfied desires of her life.

In the various offices of the superintendents, paymaster, and purchasing agent, there were other young women stenographers whose company Janet might have enjoyed, had she been different. But something in her held back from accepting their offered friendship. She had only one friend—if Eda Rawle, who worked in a bank and whom she met by chance at a lunch counter, could be called that. As has been well said in another language, one friend reaches out, the other presents a cheek: Janet presented the cheek. Unconsciously, she sought a relationship that was rare in banks and offices; she wouldn’t give herself to anyone else. The young women stenographers at the Chippering Mill, respectable and hardworking, were drawn to her for an undefinable reason, but when they realized their efforts were going nowhere, they backed off. They were a little intimidated by her; as one of them said, “You always knew she was there.” Miss Lottie Meyers, who worked in Mr. Orcutt's office across the hall, had a brief crush on Janet that turned into resentment. She chewed gum continuously, and Janet found her cheap perfume unbearable; on the other hand, Lottie thought Janet was “weird” and “stuck up,” acting like she was better than everyone else. Lottie led a group of four or five who gathered in the hallway after lunch to chat excitedly about clothes, flirting with the young men from the paymaster's office, giggling and sharing stories that always ended in loud laughter. Janet hated those conversations. The topic of sex, subtly hinted at but rarely discussed openly, was a mystery to her—terrifying yet too sacred to be cheapened. Her emotions, hidden beneath a calm exterior that might deceive an onlooker, sometimes became overwhelming, and she felt frightened by a passion that made her tremble—a passion that was not always consciously linked to men, embodying all the fierce, unexpressed desires of her life.

These emotions, often suggested by some hint of beauty, as of the sun glinting on the river on a bright blue day, had a sudden way of possessing her, and the longing they induced was pain. Longing for what? For some unimagined existence where beauty dwelt, and light, where the ecstasy induced by these was neither moiled nor degraded; where shame, as now, might not assail her. Why should she feel her body hot with shame, her cheeks afire? At such moments she would turn to the typewriter, her fingers striking the keys with amazing rapidity, with extraordinary accuracy and force,—force vaguely disturbing to Mr. Claude Ditmar as he entered the office one morning and involuntarily paused to watch her. She was unaware of his gaze, but her colour was like a crimson signal that flashed to him and was gone. Why had he never noticed her before? All these months, for more than a year, perhaps,—she had been in his office, and he had not so much as looked at her twice. The unguessed answer was that he had never surprised her in a vivid moment. He had a flair for women, though he had never encountered any possessing the higher values, and it was characteristic of the plane of his mental processes that this one should remind him now of a dark, lithe panther, tensely strung, capable of fierceness. The pain of having her scratch him would be delectable.

These emotions, often hinted at by some glimpse of beauty, like the sun reflecting on the river on a bright blue day, would suddenly take over her, and the longing they created felt like pain. Longing for what? For some unknown existence where beauty and light existed, where the ecstasy they brought was neither muddled nor diminished; a place where shame, as she felt now, wouldn't haunt her. Why should she feel her body burning with shame, her cheeks flushed? In those moments, she would turn to the typewriter, her fingers hitting the keys with incredible speed, extraordinary accuracy, and force—which vaguely unsettled Mr. Claude Ditmar as he walked into the office one morning and unintentionally paused to watch her. She was oblivious to his gaze, but her color was like a crimson signal that flashed to him and then disappeared. Why had he never noticed her before? All these months, for over a year, perhaps—she had been in his office, and he hadn't even looked at her twice. The unspoken truth was that he had never caught her in a striking moment. He had a knack for women, though he had never met one with the deeper qualities, and it was typical of his mindset that this one now reminded him of a dark, sleek panther, tightly wound, capable of intensity. The thrill of having her scratch him would be delightful.

When he measured her it was to discover that she was not so little, and the shoulder-curve of her uplifted arms, as her fingers played over the keys, seemed to belie that apparent slimness. And had he not been unacquainted with the subtleties of the French mind and language, he might have classed her as a fausse maigre. Her head was small, her hair like a dark, blurred shadow clinging round it. He wanted to examine her hair, to see whether it would not betray, at closer range, an imperceptible wave,—but not daring to linger he went into his office, closed the door, and sat down with a sensation akin to weakness, somewhat appalled by his discovery, considerably amazed at his previous stupidity. He had thought of Janet—when she had entered his mind at all—as unobtrusive, demure; now he recognized this demureness as repression. Her qualities needed illumination, and he, Claude Ditmar, had seen them struck with fire. He wondered whether any other man had been as fortunate.

When he measured her, he realized she wasn't really that small, and the curve of her shoulders as her fingers danced over the keys made her look more solid than she appeared. If he hadn't been unfamiliar with the nuances of the French mind and language, he might have thought of her as a “false slim.” Her head was small, and her hair was like a dark, blurred shadow wrapping around it. He wanted to check her hair to see if it revealed any subtle wave up close, but not wanting to linger too long, he went into his office, closed the door, and sat down feeling slightly weak, somewhat shocked by his discovery and quite amazed at how clueless he'd been before. He had thought of Janet—when he thought of her at all—as unobtrusive and reserved; now he realized that this reserve was actually repression. Her qualities needed to be brought to light, and he, Claude Ditmar, had seen them ignited. He wondered if any other man had been as lucky.

Later in the morning, quite casually, he made inquiries of Miss Ottway, who liked Janet and was willing to do her a good turn.

Later in the morning, pretty casually, he asked Miss Ottway, who liked Janet and was happy to help her out.

“Why, she's a clever girl, Mr. Ditmar, a good stenographer, and conscientious in her work. She's very quick, too.

“Why, she's a smart girl, Mr. Ditmar, a good typist, and dedicated to her work. She's also really fast.”

“Yes, I've noticed that,” Ditmar replied, who was quite willing to have it thought that his inquiry was concerned with Janet's aptitude for business.

“Yes, I’ve noticed that,” Ditmar replied, eager for others to think his question was about Janet’s skills in business.

“She keeps to herself and minds her own affairs. You can see she comes of good stock.” Miss Ottway herself was proud of her New England blood. “Her father, you know, is the gatekeeper down there. He's been unfortunate.”

“She keeps to herself and looks after her own business. You can tell she comes from a good family.” Miss Ottway herself was proud of her New England roots. “Her father, you know, is the gatekeeper down there. He’s had some bad luck.”

“You don't say—I didn't connect her with him. Fine looking old man. A friend of mine who recommended him told me he'd seen better days....”

“You don't say—I didn't connect her with him. Good-looking old man. A friend of mine who recommended him said he’d seen better days....”





CHAPTER II

In spite of the surprising discovery in his office of a young woman of such a disquieting, galvanic quality, it must not be supposed that Mr. Claude Ditmar intended to infringe upon a fixed principle. He had principles. For him, as for the patriarchs and householders of Israel, the seventh commandment was only relative, yet hitherto he had held rigidly to that relativity, laying down the sound doctrine that women and business would not mix: or, as he put it to his intimates, no sensible man would fool with a girl in his office. Hence it may be implied that Mr. Ditmar's experiences with the opposite sex had been on a property basis. He was one of those busy and successful persons who had never appreciated or acquired the art of quasi-platonic amenities, whose idea of a good time was limited to discreet excursions with cronies, likewise busy and successful persons who, by reason of having married early and unwisely, are strangers to the delights of that higher social intercourse chronicled in novels and the public prints. If one may conveniently overlook the joys of a companionship of the soul, it is quite as possible to have a taste in women as in champagne or cigars. Mr. Ditmar preferred blondes, and he liked them rather stout, a predilection that had led him into matrimony with a lady of this description: a somewhat sticky, candy-eating lady with a mania for card parties, who undoubtedly would have dyed her hair if she had lived. He was not inconsolable, but he had had enough of marriage to learn that it demands a somewhat exorbitant price for joys otherwise more reasonably to be obtained.

Despite the surprising discovery of a young woman with such a unsettling, electric presence in his office, it shouldn't be assumed that Mr. Claude Ditmar intended to break a fundamental principle. He had principles. For him, like the patriarchs and heads of households in Israel, the seventh commandment was just relative, yet until now he had strictly adhered to that relativity, insisting that women and business shouldn’t mix: or, as he told his friends, no sensible man should get involved with a girl in his office. Therefore, it can be inferred that Mr. Ditmar's experiences with women had been more transactional. He was one of those busy and successful individuals who had never understood or developed the skill for casual yet meaningful interactions, whose idea of a good time was limited to discreet outings with friends, also busy and successful, who, having married young and unwisely, are unfamiliar with the pleasures of deeper social connections described in novels and the media. If one conveniently overlooks the joys of a soulful companionship, it is entirely possible to have preferences in women just like in champagne or cigars. Mr. Ditmar preferred blondes, and he liked them somewhat plump, a preference that led him to marry a woman fitting that description: a somewhat sticky, candy-loving lady obsessed with card parties, who surely would have dyed her hair if she had lived longer. He was not heartbroken, but he had experienced enough of marriage to realize that it comes at a rather steep cost for joys that are more easily found elsewhere.

He was left a widower with two children, a girl of thirteen and a boy of twelve, both somewhat large for their ages. Amy attended the only private institution for the instruction of her sex of which Hampton could boast; George continued at a public school. The late Mrs. Ditmar for some years before her demise had begun to give evidence of certain restless aspirations to which American ladies of her type and situation seem peculiarly liable, and with a view to their ultimate realization she had inaugurated a Jericho-like campaign. Death had released Ditmar from its increasing pressure. For his wife had possessed that admirable substitute for character, persistence, had been expert in the use of importunity, often an efficient weapon in the hands of the female economically dependent. The daughter of a defunct cashier of the Hampton National Bank, when she had married Ditmar, then one of the superintendents of the Chippering and already a marked man, she had deemed herself fortunate among women, looking forward to a life of ease and idleness and candy in great abundance,—a dream temporarily shattered by the unforeseen discomfort of bringing two children into the world, with an interval of scarcely a year between them. Her parents from an excess of native modesty having failed to enlighten her on this subject, her feelings were those of outraged astonishment, and she was quite determined not to repeat the experience a third time. Knowledge thus belatedly acquired, for a while she abandoned herself to the satisfaction afforded by the ability to take a commanding position in Hampton society, gradually to become aware of the need of a more commodious residence. In a certain kind of intuition she was rich. Her husband had meanwhile become Agent of the Chippering Mill, and she strongly suspected that his prudent reticence on the state of his finances was the best indication of an increasing prosperity. He had indeed made money, been given many opportunities for profitable investments; but the argument for social pre-eminence did not appeal to him: tears and reproaches, recriminations, when frequently applied, succeeded better; like many married men, what he most desired was to be let alone; but in some unaccountable way she had come to suspect that his preference for blondes was of a more liberal nature than at first, in her innocence, she had realized. She was jealous, too, of his cronies, in spite of the fact that these gentlemen, when they met her, treated her with an elaborate politeness; and she accused him with entire justice of being more intimate with them than with her, with whom he was united in holy bonds. The inevitable result of these tactics was the modern mansion in the upper part of Warren Street, known as the “residential” district. Built on a wide lot, with a garage on one side to the rear, with a cement driveway divided into squares, and a wall of democratic height separating its lawn from the sidewalk, the house may for the present be better imagined than described.

He became a widower with two kids, a thirteen-year-old girl and a twelve-year-old boy, both a bit larger than their peers. Amy was enrolled in the only private school for girls that Hampton had to offer; George continued at a public school. The late Mrs. Ditmar had shown signs of some restless ambitions for several years before her passing, which seemed to affect American women in her position. To achieve them, she had launched a concerted effort. Death had freed Ditmar from this growing burden. His wife had that admirable substitute for character—persistence—and was skilled at using insistence, often a useful tool for economically dependent women. The daughter of a deceased cashier from the Hampton National Bank, when she married Ditmar, then one of the superintendents at the Chippering and already a notable figure, she considered herself lucky among women, anticipating a life of comfort, leisure, and abundant sweets—a dream temporarily interrupted by the unexpected challenges of having two children a little less than a year apart. Her parents, due to excessive modesty, never explained this matter to her, leaving her feeling outraged and surprised, and she was determined not to go through that experience again. With this late-found knowledge, she briefly indulged in the satisfaction of being in a prominent position in Hampton society, slowly realizing the need for a bigger home. In a certain intuitive sense, she was wealthy. Meanwhile, her husband had become the Agent of the Chippering Mill, and she strongly suspected that his careful silence about their finances indicated growing prosperity. He had indeed made money and had many chances for good investments, but the notion of social prominence didn’t appeal to him: tears, accusations, and blame, when used frequently, worked better; like many married men, what he really wanted was to be left alone. Yet, in some inexplicable way, she began to suspect that his interest in blondes was broader than she had initially thought in her innocence. She was also jealous of his friends, even though these men treated her with excessive politeness when they met. She justly accused him of being closer to them than to her, with whom he was bound in marriage. The inevitable outcome of these dynamics was the modern house in the upper part of Warren Street, known as the “residential” area. Built on a large lot, featuring a garage on one side at the back, a cement driveway arranged in squares, and a fence of average height dividing its yard from the sidewalk, the house is better imagined than described for now.

A pious chronicler of a more orthodox age would doubtless have deemed it a judgment that Cora Ditmar survived but two years to enjoy the glories of the Warren Street house. For a while her husband indulged in a foolish optimism, only to learn that the habit of matrimonial blackmail, once acquired, is not easily shed. Scarcely had he settled down to the belief that by the gratification of her supreme desire he had achieved comparative peace, than he began to suspect her native self-confidence of cherishing visions of a career contemplating nothing less than the eventual abandonment of Hampton itself as a field too limited for her social talents and his business ability and bank account—at which she was pleased to hint. Hampton suited Ditmar, his passion was the Chippering Mill; and he was in process of steeling himself to resist, whatever the costs, this preposterous plan when he was mercifully released by death. Her intention of sending the children away to acquire a culture and finish Hampton did not afford,—George to Silliston Academy, Amy to a fashionable boarding school,—he had not opposed, yet he did not take the idea with sufficient seriousness to carry it out. The children remained at home, more or less—increasingly less—in the charge of an elderly woman who acted as housekeeper.

A devoted chronicler from a more traditional era would likely see it as a sign that Cora Ditmar lived just two years to enjoy the splendor of the Warren Street house. For a while, her husband entertained a misguided optimism, only to discover that once the habit of marital manipulation sets in, it's hard to break. As soon as he settled into the idea that by fulfilling her ultimate desire he had found some peace, he began to suspect that her inherent self-confidence was nurturing dreams of a future that involved nothing less than leaving Hampton altogether, viewing it as too limited for her social skills and his business acumen and bank account—something she was eager to imply. Hampton worked for Ditmar; his passion was the Chippering Mill; and he was gearing up to resist, no matter the cost, this ridiculous idea when he was thankfully freed by death. He didn’t oppose her plan to send the kids away to gain a better education—George to Silliston Academy, Amy to an elite boarding school—but he also didn’t take the idea seriously enough to make it happen. The kids stayed at home, more or less—increasingly less—under the care of an elderly woman who served as housekeeper.

Ditmar had miraculously regained his freedom. And now, when he made trips to New York and Boston, combining business with pleasure, there were no questions asked, no troublesome fictions to be composed. More frequently he was in Boston, where he belonged to a large and comfortable club, not too exacting in regard to membership, and here he met his cronies and sometimes planned excursions with them, automobile trips in summer to the White Mountains or choice little resorts to spend Sundays and holidays, generally taking with them a case of champagne and several bags of golf sticks. He was fond of shooting, and belonged to a duck club on the Cape, where poker and bridge were not tabooed. To his intimates he was known as “Dit.” Nor is it surprising that his attitude toward women had become in general one of resentment; matrimony he now regarded as unmitigated folly. At five and forty he was a vital, dominating, dust-coloured man six feet and half an inch in height, weighing a hundred and ninety pounds, and thus a trifle fleshy. When relaxed, and in congenial company, he looked rather boyish, an aspect characteristic of many American business men of to-day.

Ditmar had miraculously regained his freedom. Now, when he traveled to New York and Boston, mixing business with pleasure, no one asked questions, and he didn't have to create any troublesome stories. He spent more time in Boston, where he belonged to a large and comfortable club that wasn't very strict about membership. Here, he met up with his friends and sometimes planned outings with them, like summer road trips to the White Mountains or nice little spots to spend Sundays and holidays, usually bringing along a case of champagne and a few bags of golf clubs. He enjoyed shooting and was a member of a duck club on the Cape, where poker and bridge weren't frowned upon. His close friends called him “Dit.” It wasn't surprising that he had developed a generally resentful attitude toward women; he now saw marriage as complete foolishness. At forty-five, he was a vital, commanding man, six feet and half an inch tall, weighing one hundred ninety pounds, a bit on the hefty side. When he relaxed and was with good company, he appeared quite boyish, a look characteristic of many American businessmen today.

His head was large, he wore his hair short, his features also proclaimed him as belonging to a modern American type in that they were not clear-cut, but rather indefinable; a bristling, short-cropped moustache gave him a certain efficient, military look which, when introduced to strangers as “Colonel,” was apt to deceive them into thinking him an army officer. The title he had once received as a member of the staff of the governor of the state, and was a tribute to a gregariousness and political influence rather than to a genius for the art of war. Ex officio, as the agent of the Chippering Mill and a man of substance to boot, he was “in” politics, hail fellow well met with and an individual to be taken into account by politicians from the governor and member of congress down. He was efficient, of course; he had efficient hands and shrewd, efficient eyes, and the military impression was deepened by his manner of dealing with people, his conversation being yea, yea and nay, nay,—save with his cronies and those of the other sex from whom he had something to gain. His clothes always looked new, of pronounced patterns and light colours set aside for him by an obsequious tailor in Boston.

His head was large, he kept his hair short, and his features hinted that he belonged to a modern American type—they weren't sharply defined, but rather vague. His bristly, short moustache gave him a somewhat efficient, military vibe, which sometimes led strangers to mistakenly think he was an army officer when they were introduced to him as “Colonel.” The title he had earned while working for the governor was more about his sociability and political connections than any military skill. As the representative of the Chippering Mill and a man of means, he was involved in politics, well-liked, and a person who politicians from the governor to congress members sought to engage. He was efficient, of course; he had capable hands and sharp, perceptive eyes, and his military air was reinforced by the way he interacted with people. His conversations were straightforward—yes or no—except with his close friends or women he could benefit from. His clothes always looked new, featuring bold patterns and lighter colors specifically tailored for him by a flattering tailor in Boston.

If a human being in such an enviable position as that of agent of the Chippering Mill can be regarded as property, it might be said that Mr. Claude Ditmar belonged to the Chipperings of Boston, a family still owning a controlling interest in the company. His loyalty to them and to the mill he so ably conducted was the great loyalty of his life. For Ditmar, a Chippering could do no wrong. It had been the keen eye of Mr. Stephen Chippering that first had marked him, questioned him, recognized his ability, and from the moment of that encounter his advance had been rapid. When old Stephen had been called to his fathers, Ditmar's allegiance was automatically, as it were, transferred to the two sons, George and Worthington, already members of the board of directors. Sometimes Ditmar called on them at their homes, which stood overlooking the waters of the Charles River Basin. The attitude toward him of the Chipperings and their wives was one of an interesting adjustment of feudalism to democracy. They were fond of him, grateful to him, treating him with a frank camaraderie that had in it not the slightest touch of condescension, but Ditmar would have been the first to recognize that there were limits to the intimacy. They did not, for instance—no doubt out of consideration—invite him to their dinner parties or take him to their club, which was not the same as that to which he himself belonged. He felt no animus. Nor would he, surprising though it may seem, have changed places with the Chipperings. At an early age, and quite unconsciously, he had accepted property as the ruling power of the universe, and when family was added thereto the combination was nothing less than divine.

If someone in such a sought-after position as the agent of the Chippering Mill can be seen as property, it could be said that Mr. Claude Ditmar belonged to the Chippering family of Boston, who still held a controlling interest in the company. His loyalty to them and to the mill he managed so well was the main loyalty of his life. For Ditmar, a Chippering could do no wrong. It was Mr. Stephen Chippering's sharp eye that first spotted him, questioned him, recognized his talent, and from that moment, his rise was swift. When old Stephen passed away, Ditmar's allegiance automatically shifted to his two sons, George and Worthington, who were already on the board of directors. Sometimes, Ditmar visited them at their homes, which overlooked the waters of the Charles River Basin. The way the Chipperings and their wives treated him was an interesting mix of feudalism and democracy. They cared for him and appreciated him, showing him genuine friendship that had no hint of condescension, but Ditmar would have been the first to acknowledge that there were limits to their closeness. They didn’t, for example—likely out of consideration—invite him to their dinner parties or take him to their club, which was not the same one he belonged to. He felt no resentment. Nor would he, surprisingly, have wanted to switch places with the Chipperings. At a young age, and quite unconsciously, he had accepted property as the dominant force in the universe, and when family was added to that, the combination felt nothing short of divine.

There were times, especially during the long winters, when life became almost unbearable for Janet, and she was seized by a desire to run away from Fillmore Street, from the mills, from Hampton itself. Only she did not know where to go, or how to get away. She was convinced of the existence in the world of delightful spots where might be found congenial people with whom it would be a joy to talk. Fillmore Street, certainly, did not contain any such. The office was not so bad. It is true that in the mornings, as she entered West Street, the sight of the dark facade of the fortress-like structure, emblematic of the captivity in which she passed her days, rarely failed to arouse in her sensations of oppression and revolt; but here, at least, she discovered an outlet for her energies; she was often too busy to reflect, and at odd moments she could find a certain solace and companionship in the river, so intent, so purposeful, so beautiful, so undisturbed by the inconcinnity, the clatter and confusion of Hampton as it flowed serenely under the bridges and between the mills toward the sea. Toward the sea!

There were times, especially during the long winters, when life became almost unbearable for Janet, and she felt a strong urge to escape from Fillmore Street, from the mills, from Hampton itself. The problem was she didn’t know where to go or how to get away. She was sure there were beautiful places in the world filled with friendly people who would be a joy to talk to. Fillmore Street definitely didn’t have any of those. The office wasn’t that bad, though. It’s true that in the mornings, as she walked down West Street, the sight of the dark, fortress-like building—a symbol of her captivity during the day—often made her feel oppressed and rebellious. But at least here, she found a way to channel her energy; she was usually too busy to think, and during rare moments, she could find some comfort and companionship in the river, so focused, so purposeful, so beautiful, so unaffected by the chaos, noise, and confusion of Hampton as it flowed calmly under the bridges and between the mills towards the sea. Towards the sea!

It was when, at night, she went back to Fillmore Street—when she thought of the monotony, yes, and the sordidness of home, when she let herself in at the door and climbed the dark and narrow stairway, that her feet grew leaden. In spite of the fact that Hannah was a good housekeeper and prided herself on cleanliness, the tiny flat reeked with the smell of cooking, and Janet, from the upper hall, had a glimpse of a thin, angular woman with a scrawny neck, with scant grey hair tightly drawn into a knot, in a gingham apron covering an old dress bending over the kitchen stove. And occasionally, despite a resentment that fate should have dealt thus inconsiderately with the family, Janet felt pity welling within her. After supper, when Lise had departed with her best young man, Hannah would occasionally, though grudgingly, permit Janet to help her with the dishes.

It was at night when she returned to Fillmore Street—thinking about the dullness and ugliness of home—that her feet felt heavy. Even though Hannah was a good housekeeper and took pride in keeping things clean, the small apartment smelled strongly of cooking. From the upper hall, Janet caught a glimpse of a thin, angular woman with a skinny neck and sparse grey hair pulled back into a tight knot, wearing a gingham apron over an old dress, bent over the kitchen stove. Sometimes, despite feeling frustrated that fate had treated the family so unfairly, Janet felt a sense of pity rising within her. After dinner, when Lise had left with her boyfriend, Hannah would sometimes, though reluctantly, let Janet help her with the dishes.

“You work all day, you have a right to rest.”

“You work all day; you deserve to take a break.”

“But I don't want to rest,” Janet would declare, and rub the dishes the harder. With the spirit underlying this protest, Hannah sympathized. Mother and daughter were alike in that both were inarticulate, but Janet had a secret contempt for Hannah's uncomplaining stoicism. She loved her mother, in a way, especially at certain times,—though she often wondered why she was unable to realize more fully the filial affection of tradition; but in moments of softening, such as these, she was filled with rage at the thought of any woman endowed with energy permitting herself to be overtaken and overwhelmed by such a fate as Hannah's: divorce, desertion, anything, she thought, would have been better—anything but to be cheated out of life. Feeling the fires of rebellion burning hotly within her,—rebellion against environment and driving necessity she would glance at her mother and ask herself whether it were possible that Hannah had ever known longings, had ever been wrung by inexpressible desires,—desires in which the undiscovered spiritual was so alarmingly compounded with the undiscovered physical. She would have died rather than speak to Hannah of these unfulfilled experiences, and the mere thought of confiding them to any person appalled her. Even if there existed some wonderful, understanding being to whom she might be able thus to empty her soul, the thought of the ecstasy of that kenosis was too troubling to be dwelt upon.

“But I don't want to rest,” Janet would say, and scrub the dishes even harder. Hannah understood the feeling behind this protest. Mother and daughter were similar in that both struggled to express themselves, but Janet secretly looked down on Hannah's quiet acceptance. She loved her mother, in a way, especially at certain times—though she often wondered why she couldn't feel the same traditional affection more deeply. In tender moments like these, she felt a rush of anger at the thought of any woman with energy letting herself be overtaken and crushed by a fate like Hannah's: divorce, abandonment—she thought anything would be better than being robbed of life. With the flames of rebellion burning fiercely inside her—rebellion against her surroundings and the demands of life—she would glance at her mother and ask herself if it was possible that Hannah had ever felt longings, ever experienced those inexpressible desires—desires where the unknown spiritual blended alarmingly with the unknown physical. She would have rather died than talk to Hannah about these unfulfilled experiences, and just the idea of confiding them to anyone terrified her. Even if there was some amazing, understanding person to whom she could pour out her heart, the thought of that kind of release was too troubling to think about.

She had tried reading, with unfortunate results,—perhaps because no Virgil had as yet appeared to guide her through the mysteries of that realm. Her schooling had failed to instil into her a discriminating taste for literature; and when, on occasions, she had entered the Public Library opposite the Common it had been to stare hopelessly at rows of books whose authors and titles offered no clue to their contents. Her few choices had not been happy, they had failed to interest and thrill...

She had tried reading, but it didn’t go well—maybe because no Virgil had come along to help her navigate the mysteries of that world. Her education hadn't given her a refined taste for literature; and when she occasionally entered the Public Library across from the Common, it was just to hopelessly gaze at rows of books whose authors and titles gave no hint about their contents. Her few selections hadn’t been great, and they hadn’t sparked her interest or excitement...

Of the Bumpus family Lise alone found refuge, distraction, and excitement in the vulgar modern world by which they were surrounded, and of whose heedlessness and remorselessness they were the victims. Lise went out into it, became a part of it, returning only to sleep and eat,—a tendency Hannah found unaccountable, and against which even her stoicism was not wholly proof. Scarce an evening went by without an expression of uneasiness from Hannah.

Of the Bumpus family, Lise was the only one who found escape, distraction, and excitement in the loud, modern world around them, which they were victims of due to its indifference and cruelty. Lise ventured into it, became part of it, returning only to sleep and eat—something Hannah couldn’t understand, and even her stoic nature wasn’t entirely immune to it. Hardly a night went by without Hannah expressing her worries.

“She didn't happen to mention where she was going, did she, Janet?” Hannah would query, when she had finished her work and put on her spectacles to read the Banner.

“She didn't say where she was going, did she, Janet?” Hannah would ask when she had finished her work and put on her glasses to read the Banner.

“To the movies, I suppose,” Janet would reply. Although well aware that her sister indulged in other distractions, she thought it useless to add to Hannah's disquietude. And if she had little patience with Lise, she had less with the helpless attitude of her parents.

“To the movies, I guess,” Janet would reply. Even though she knew her sister was into other distractions, she thought it was pointless to add to Hannah's unease. And if she had little patience with Lise, she had even less for the helplessness of her parents.

“Well,” Hannah would add, “I never can get used to her going out nights the way she does, and with young men and women I don't know anything about. I wasn't brought up that way. But as long as she's got to work for a living I guess there's no help for it.”

“Well,” Hannah would add, “I can never get used to her going out at night like she does, especially with young men and women I don’t know anything about. I wasn’t raised that way. But as long as she has to work for a living, I guess there’s nothing we can do about it.”

And she would glance at Edward. It was obviously due to his inability adequately to cope with modern conditions that his daughters were forced to toil, but this was the nearest she ever came to reproaching him. If he heard, he acquiesced humbly, and in silence: more often than not he was oblivious, buried in the mazes of the Bumpus family history, his papers spread out on the red cloth of the dining-room table, under the lamp. Sometimes in his simplicity and with the enthusiasm that demands listeners he would read aloud to them a letter, recently received from a distant kinsman, an Alpheus Bumpus, let us say, who had migrated to California in search of wealth and fame, and who had found neither. In spite of age and misfortunes, the liberal attitude of these western members of the family was always a matter of perplexity to Edward.

And she would look over at Edward. It was clear that his struggle to adapt to modern life was the reason his daughters had to work hard, but this was the closest she ever came to blaming him. If he noticed, he accepted it quietly and humbly; more often than not, he was unaware, lost in the complexities of the Bumpus family history, with his papers spread out on the red tablecloth of the dining room under the lamp. Sometimes, in his simplicity and with the eagerness that calls for an audience, he would read aloud to them a letter he had recently received from a distant relative, let’s say an Alpheus Bumpus, who had moved to California in search of wealth and fame but had found neither. Despite age and challenges, the open-mindedness of these western relatives always puzzled Edward.

“He tells me they're going to give women the ballot,—doesn't appear to be much concerned about his own womenfolks going to the polls.”

“He says they're going to give women the right to vote,—doesn't seem too worried about his own women going to the polls.”

“Why shouldn't they, if they want to?” Janet would exclaim, though she had given little thought to the question.

“Why shouldn't they, if they want to?” Janet would say, even though she hadn’t put much thought into the question.

Edward would mildly ignore this challenge.

Edward would casually overlook this challenge.

“He has a house on what they call Russian Hill, and he can watch the vessels as they come in from Japan,” he would continue in his precise voice, emphasizing admirably the last syllables of the words “Russian,” “vessels,” and “Japan.” “Wouldn't you like to see the letter?”

“He has a house on what they call Russian Hill, and he can watch the vessels as they come in from Japan,” he would continue in his precise voice, emphasizing admirably the last syllables of the words “Russian,” “vessels,” and “Japan.” “Wouldn't you like to see the letter?”

To do Hannah justice, although she was quite incapable of sharing his passion, she frequently feigned an interest, took the letter, presently handing it on to Janet who, in deciphering Alpheus's trembling calligraphy, pondered over his manifold woes. Alpheus's son, who had had a good position in a sporting goods establishment on Market Street, was sick and in danger of losing it, the son's wife expecting an addition to the family, the house on Russian Hill mortgaged. Alpheus, a veteran of the Civil War, had been for many years preparing his reminiscences, but the newspapers nowadays seemed to care nothing for matters of solid worth, and so far had refused to publish them.... Janet, as she read, reflected that these letters invariably had to relate tales of failures, of disappointed hopes; she wondered at her father's perennial interest in failures,—provided they were those of his family; and the next evening, as he wrote painfully on his ruled paper, she knew that he in turn was pouring out his soul to Alpheus, recounting, with an emotion by no means unpleasurable, to this sympathetic but remote relative the story of his own failure!

To give Hannah credit, even though she couldn't really share his passion, she often pretended to be interested. She took the letter and handed it off to Janet, who, while trying to read Alpheus's shaky handwriting, thought about his many troubles. Alpheus's son, who had a decent job at a sporting goods store on Market Street, was sick and about to lose it, while his wife was expecting a baby and their house on Russian Hill was mortgaged. Alpheus, a Civil War veteran, had been working on his memoirs for many years, but newspapers these days seemed uninterested in things of real value, and had so far refused to publish them. As Janet read, she realized that these letters always seemed to tell stories of failures and unmet hopes. She found it interesting that her father was so fascinated by failures—as long as they were in his family. And the next evening, as he wrote carefully on his lined paper, she knew he was pouring his heart out to Alpheus, sharing the story of his own failure with this sympathetic but distant relative, with emotions that were far from unpleasant.

If the city of Hampton was emblematic of our modern world in which haphazardness has replaced order, Fillmore Street may be likened to a back eddy of the muddy and troubled waters, in which all sorts of flotsam and jetsam had collected. Or, to find perhaps an even more striking illustration of the process that made Hampton in general and Fillmore Street in particular, one had only to take the trolley to Glendale, the Italian settlement on the road leading to the old New England village of Shrewsbury. Janet sometimes walked there, alone or with her friend Eda Rawle. Disintegration itself—in a paradoxically pathetic attempt at reconstruction—had built Glendale. Human hands, Italian hands. Nor, surprising though it may seem, were these descendants of the people of the Renaissance in the least offended by their handiwork. When the southern European migration had begun and real estate became valuable, one by one the more decorous edifices of the old American order had been torn down and carried piecemeal by sons of Italy to the bare hills of Glendale, there to enter into new combinations representing, to an eye craving harmony, the last word of a chaos, of a mental indigestion, of a colour scheme crying aloud to heaven for retribution. Standing alone and bare amidst its truck gardens, hideous, extreme, though typical of the entire settlement, composed of fragments ripped from once-appropriate settings, is a house with a tiny body painted strawberry-red, with scroll-work shutters a tender green; surmounting the structure and almost equalling it in size is a sky-blue cupola, once the white crown of the Sutter mansion, the pride of old Hampton. The walls of this dwelling were wrested from the sides of Mackey's Tavern, while the shutters for many years adorned the parsonage of the old First Church. Similarly, in Hampton and in Fillmore Street, lived in enforced neighbourliness human fragments once having their places in crystallized communities where existence had been regarded as solved. Here there was but one order,—if such it may be called,—one relationship, direct, or indirect, one necessity claiming them all—the mills.

If the city of Hampton represented our modern world where chaos has taken the place of order, Fillmore Street could be compared to a back eddy in the murky and troubled waters, gathering all kinds of debris. To find an even clearer example of the process that shaped Hampton in general and Fillmore Street in particular, you only had to take the trolley to Glendale, the Italian settlement on the road to the old New England village of Shrewsbury. Janet sometimes walked there, either alone or with her friend Eda Rawle. Disintegration itself—ironically attempting to rebuild—had created Glendale. Human hands, Italian hands. Surprisingly, these descendants of Renaissance people weren’t the least bit offended by their creations. When southern European migration began and real estate became valuable, the more elegant buildings of the old American order were gradually torn down and taken piece by piece by sons of Italy to the bare hills of Glendale, where they formed new combinations that, to someone craving harmony, represented the chaotic aftermath of confusion, a mental overload, and a color scheme screaming for justice. Standing alone and bare among its truck gardens, ugly yet typical of the whole settlement, is a house with a small body painted strawberry-red and shutters with a soft green scroll design; above it, almost as large as the house itself, is a sky-blue cupola, once the white crown of the Sutter mansion, the pride of old Hampton. The walls of this house were taken from Mackey's Tavern, while the shutters had adorned the parsonage of the old First Church for many years. Similarly, in Hampton and on Fillmore Street, lived human fragments that had once belonged to solid communities where life was considered settled. Here, there was only one order—if it could even be called that—one relationship, either direct or indirect, one necessity that connected them all—the mills.

Like the boards forming the walls of the shacks at Glendale, these human planks torn from an earlier social structure were likewise warped, which is to say they were dominated by obsessions. Edward's was the Bumpus family; and Chris Auermann, who lived in the flat below, was convinced that the history of mankind is a deplorable record of havoc caused by women. Perhaps he was right, but the conviction was none the less an obsession. He came from a little village near Wittenburg that has scarcely changed since Luther's time. Like most residents of Hampton who did not work in the mills, he ministered to those who did, or to those who sold merchandise to the workers, cutting their hair in his barber shop on Faber Street.

Like the boards making up the walls of the shacks in Glendale, these people, stripped from an earlier social structure, were also warped by their obsessions. Edward was obsessed with the Bumpus family; Chris Auermann, who lived in the apartment below, believed that the history of mankind is a sad account of destruction caused by women. Maybe he was right, but that belief was still an obsession. He came from a small village near Wittenburg that hasn’t changed much since Luther’s time. Like most residents of Hampton who didn’t work in the mills, he served those who did, or those who sold goods to the workers, cutting hair in his barber shop on Faber Street.

The Bumpuses, save Lise, clinging to a native individualism and pride, preferred isolation to companionship with the other pieces of driftwood by which they were surrounded, and with which the summer season compelled a certain enforced contact. When the heat in the little dining-room grew unbearable, they were driven to take refuge on the front steps shared in common with the household of the barber. It is true that the barber's wife was a mild hausfrau who had little to say, and that their lodgers, two young Germans who worked in the mills, spent most of their evenings at a bowling club; but Auermann himself, exhaling a strong odour of bay rum, would arrive promptly at quarter past eight, take off his coat, and thus, as it were stripped for action, would turn upon the defenceless Edward.

The Bumpuses, except for Lise, holding onto their independent spirit and pride, preferred being alone rather than associating with the other nearby people they were stuck with during the summer. When it got too hot in the small dining room, they had no choice but to hang out on the shared front steps with the barber's family. It’s true that the barber's wife was a quiet woman who didn’t say much, and their tenants, two young German guys who worked in the mills, spent most of their nights at a bowling club. However, Auermann himself, giving off a strong smell of bay rum, would show up right at eight fifteen, take off his coat, and, in a way, getting ready for action, would turn his attention to the defenseless Edward.

“Vill you mention one great man—yoost one—who is not greater if the vimmen leave him alone?” he would demand. “Is it Anthony, the conqueror of Egypt and the East? I vill show you Cleopatra. Und Burns, and Napoleon, the greatest man what ever lived—vimmen again. I tell you there is no Elba, no St. Helena if it is not for the vimmen. Und vat vill you say of Goethe?”

“Can you name one great man—just one—who isn't greater if women leave him alone?” he would ask. “Is it Anthony, the conqueror of Egypt and the East? I'll show you Cleopatra. And Burns, and Napoleon, the greatest man who ever lived—women again. I tell you there is no Elba, no St. Helena if it weren't for women. And what will you say about Goethe?”

Poor Edward could think of nothing to say of Goethe.

Poor Edward couldn't think of anything to say about Goethe.

“He is great, I grant you,” Chris would admit, “but vat is he if the vimmen leave him alone? Divine yoost that.” And he would proceed to cite endless examples of generals and statesmen whose wives or mistresses had been their bane. Futile Edward's attempts to shift the conversation to the subject of his own obsession; the German was by far the more aggressive, he would have none of it. Perhaps if Edward had been willing to concede that the Bumpuses had been brought to their present lowly estate by the sinister agency of the fair sex Chris might conditionally have accepted the theme. Hannah, contemptuously waving a tattered palm leaf fan, was silent; but on one occasion Janet took away the barber's breath by suddenly observing:—“You never seem to think of the women whose lives are ruined by men, Mr. Auermann.”

“He's great, I’ll give you that,” Chris would admit, “but what is he if the women leave him alone? Just divine that.” And he would go on to list endless examples of generals and politicians whose wives or mistresses had been their downfall. Futile Edward tried to steer the conversation towards his own obsession; the German was much more aggressive and wouldn’t let that happen. Maybe if Edward had been willing to concede that the Bumpuses had ended up in their current lowly state because of the harmful influence of women, Chris might have conditionally accepted the topic. Hannah, dismissively waving a worn-out palm leaf fan, stayed quiet; but once, Janet shocked the barber by suddenly stating, “You never seem to think about the women whose lives are ruined by men, Mr. Auermann.”

It was unheard-of, this invasion of a man's argument by a woman, and by a young woman at that. He glared at her through his spectacles, took them off, wiped them, replaced them, and glared at her again. He did not like Janet; she was capable of what may be called a speaking silence, and he had never been wholly unaware of her disapproval and ridicule. Perhaps he recognized in her, instinctively, the potential qualities of that emerging modern woman who to him was anathema.

It was unheard of for a woman, especially a young one, to challenge a man's argument. He glared at her through his glasses, took them off, wiped them, put them back on, and glared at her again. He didn’t like Janet; she had a way of being silently expressive, and he was always somewhat aware of her disapproval and mockery. Maybe he instinctively recognized in her the qualities of the modern woman that he found so repulsive.

“It is somethings I don't think about,” he said.

“It’s something I don't think about,” he said.

He was a wizened little man with faience-blue eyes, and sat habitually hunched up with his hands folded across his shins.

He was a wrinkled little man with bright blue eyes, and he usually sat hunched over with his hands folded across his shins.

“Nam fuit ante Helenam”—as Darwin quotes. Toward all the masculine residents of Fillmore Street, save one, the barber's attitude was one of unconcealed scorn for an inability to recognize female perfidy. With Johnny Tiernan alone he refused to enter the lists. When the popular proprietor of the tin shop came sauntering along the sidewalk with nose uptilted, waving genial greetings to the various groups on the steps, Chris Auermann's expression would suddenly change to one of fatuous playfulness.

“Nam fuit ante Helenam”—as Darwin quotes. Toward all the men living on Fillmore Street, except for one, the barber showed open disdain for their failure to see female treachery. He wouldn’t engage with Johnny Tiernan at all. When the well-liked owner of the tin shop strolled down the sidewalk with his nose in the air, cheerfully greeting the different groups on the steps, Chris Auermann's expression would instantly shift to one of silly playfulness.

“What's this I hear about giving the girls the vote, Chris?” Johnny would innocently inquire, winking at Janet, invariably running his hand through the wiry red hair that resumed its corkscrew twist as soon as he released it. And Chris would as invariably reply:—“You have the dandruffs—yes? You come to my shop, I give you somethings....”

“What's this I hear about giving the girls the vote, Chris?” Johnny would innocently ask, winking at Janet, always running his hand through his wiry red hair that twisted back into its corkscrew curls as soon as he let go. And Chris would always respond:—“You have dandruff—right? You come to my shop, I give you something....”

Sometimes the barber, in search of a more aggressive adversary than Edward, would pay visits, when as likely as not another neighbour with profound convictions and a craving for proselytes would swoop down on the defenceless Bumpuses: Joe Shivers, for instance, who lived in one of the tenements above the cleaning and dyeing establishment kept by the Pappas Bros., and known as “The Gentleman.” In the daytime Mr. Shivers was a model of acquiescence in a system he would have designated as one of industrial feudalism, his duty being to examine the rolls of cloth as they came from the looms of the Arundel Mill, in case of imperfections handing them over to the women menders: at night, to borrow a vivid expression from Lise, he was “batty in the belfry” on the subject of socialism. Unlike the barber, whom he could not abide, for him the cleavage of the world was between labour and capital instead of man and woman; his philosophy was stern and naturalistic; the universe—the origin of which he did not discuss—just an accidental assemblage of capricious forces over which human intelligence was one day to triumph. Squatting on the lowest step, his face upturned, by the light of the arc sputtering above the street he looked like a yellow frog, his eager eyes directed toward Janet, whom he suspected of intelligence.

Sometimes the barber, looking for a tougher opponent than Edward, would drop by, and it was likely that another neighbor with strong beliefs and a desire to convert others would swoop down on the defenseless Bumpuses: Joe Shivers, for example, who lived in one of the apartments above the cleaning and dyeing shop run by the Pappas Bros., known as “The Gentleman.” During the day, Mr. Shivers was a model of compliance in a system he would call industrial feudalism, responsible for checking the rolls of cloth coming from the looms of the Arundel Mill, passing any imperfect pieces to the women menders. At night, to borrow a colorful phrase from Lise, he was “batty in the belfry” about socialism. Unlike the barber, whom he couldn’t stand, he saw the world split between labor and capital instead of male and female; his philosophy was strict and naturalistic; the universe—the origin of which he wouldn’t discuss—was just a random mix of unpredictable forces that human intelligence was destined to conquer one day. Squatting on the lowest step, his face tilted up, under the flickering arc light above the street he looked like a yellow frog, his eager eyes fixed on Janet, whom he believed to be intelligent.

“If there was a God, a nice, kind, all-powerful God, would he permit what happened in one of the loom-rooms last week? A Polak girl gets her hair caught in the belt pfff!” He had a marvellously realistic gift when it came to horrors: Janet felt her hair coming out by the roots. Although she never went to church, she did not like to think that no God existed. Of this Mr. Shivers was very positive. Edward, too, listened uneasily, hemmed and hawed, making ineffectual attempts to combat Mr. Shivers's socialism with a deeply-rooted native individualism that Shivers declared as defunct as Christianity.

“If there was a God, a nice, kind, all-powerful God, would he allow what happened in one of the loom rooms last week? A Polish girl got her hair caught in the belt—pfff!” He had a chillingly realistic way of talking about horrors: Janet felt her hair being ripped out by the roots. Even though she never went to church, she didn't want to believe that no God existed. Mr. Shivers was very sure about that. Edward, too, listened uneasily, stumbling over his words, making weak attempts to counter Mr. Shivers's socialism with a deeply rooted individualism that Shivers claimed was as outdated as Christianity.

“If it is possible for the workingman to rise under a capitalistic system, why do you not rise, then? Why do I not rise? I'm as good as Ditmar, I'm better educated, but we're all slaves. What right has a man to make you and me work for him just because he has capital?”

“If it’s possible for the working man to succeed in a capitalist system, then why don’t you and I succeed? I’m just as good as Ditmar; I’m better educated, but we’re all stuck. What right does a man have to make you and me work for him just because he has money?”

“Why, the right of capital,” Edward would reply.

“Why, the right of capital,” Edward would respond.

Mr. Shivers, with the manner of one dealing with an incurable romanticism and sentimentality, would lift his hands in despair. And in spite of the fact that Janet detested him, he sometimes exercised over her a paradoxical fascination, suggesting as he did unexplored intellectual realms. She despised her father for not being able to crush the little man. Edward would make pathetic attempts to capture the role Shivers had appropriated, to be the practical party himself, to convict Shivers of idealism. Socialism scandalized him, outraged, even more than atheism, something within him he held sacred, and he was greatly annoyed because he was unable adequately to express this feeling.

Mr. Shivers, acting like someone dealing with an incurable romanticism and sentimentality, would raise his hands in despair. And even though Janet couldn't stand him, he sometimes had a weird fascination over her, hinting at unexplored intellectual areas. She looked down on her father for not being able to put the little man in his place. Edward would make sad attempts to take on the role Shivers had claimed, trying to be the practical one himself, to prove Shivers wrong about idealism. Socialism shocked him, outraged him even more than atheism, which was something he held sacred, and he was really frustrated because he couldn't express this feeling properly.

“You can't change human nature, Mr. Shivers,” Edward would insist in his precise but ineffectual manner. “We all want property, you would accept a fortune if it was offered to you, and so should I. Americans will never become socialists.”

“You can't change human nature, Mr. Shivers,” Edward would insist in his precise but ineffective way. “We all want possessions; you would take a fortune if it was offered to you, and so would I. Americans will never become socialists.”

“But look at me, wasn't I born in Meriden, Connecticut? Ain't that Yankee enough for you?” Thus Mr. Shivers sought blandly to confound him.

“But look at me, wasn’t I born in Meriden, Connecticut? Isn’t that Yankee enough for you?” So Mr. Shivers tried calmly to confuse him.

A Yankee Shades of the Pilgrim fathers, of seven, generations of Bumpuses! A Yankee who used his hands in that way, a Yankee with a nose like that, a Yankee with a bald swathe down the middle of his crown and bunches of black, moth-eaten hair on either side! But Edward, too polite to descend to personalities, was silent....

A Yankee with the traits of the Pilgrim fathers, from seven generations of Bumpuses! A Yankee who worked with his hands like that, a Yankee with a nose like that, a Yankee with a bald patch on the top of his head and tufts of scraggly black hair on either side! But Edward, too polite to stoop to personal insults, stayed quiet...

In brief, this very politeness of Edward's, which his ancestors would have scorned, this consideration and lack of self-assertion made him the favourite prey of the many “characters” in Fillmore Street whose sanity had been disturbed by pressure from above, in whose systems had lodged the germs of those exotic social doctrines floating so freely in the air of our modern industrial communities.... Chester Glenn remains for a passing mention. A Yankee of Yankees, this, born on a New Hampshire farm, and to the ordinary traveller on the Wigmore branch of the railroad just a good-natured, round-faced, tobacco-chewing brakeman who would take a seat beside ladies of his acquaintance aid make himself agreeable until it was time to rise and bawl out, in the approved manner of his profession, the name of the next station. Fillmore Street knew that the flat visored cap which his corporation compelled him to wear covered a brain into which had penetrated the maggot of the Single Tax. When he encountered Mr. Shivers or Auermann the talk became coruscating..

In summary, Edward’s politeness, which his ancestors would have looked down on, along with his thoughtfulness and lack of self-importance, made him an easy target for the various "characters" on Fillmore Street. These individuals, whose mental stability had been shaken by pressures from above, had absorbed the seeds of those exotic social ideas that were so prevalent in our modern industrial society. Chester Glenn deserves a brief mention. A true Yankee, he was born on a farm in New Hampshire. To the average traveler on the Wigmore branch of the railway, he was just a friendly, round-faced, tobacco-chewing brakeman who would sit next to familiar ladies and chat until it was time to stand up and loudly announce the name of the next station in the customary way of his job. Fillmore Street knew that the flat-brimmed cap he was forced to wear concealed a mind that had been influenced by the concept of the Single Tax. Conversations with Mr. Shivers or Auermann would spark with energy.

Eda Rawle, Janet's solitary friend of these days, must also be mentioned, though the friendship was merely an episode in Janet's life. Their first meeting was at Grady's quick-lunch counter in Faber Street, which they both frequented at one time, and the fact that each had ordered a ham sandwich, a cup of coffee, and a confection—new to Grady's—known as a Napoleon had led to conversation.

Eda Rawle, Janet's only friend these days, should also be noted, even though their friendship was just a brief moment in Janet's life. They first met at Grady's quick-lunch counter on Faber Street, a place they both used to go to. The fact that they both ordered a ham sandwich, a cup of coffee, and a dessert—new to Grady's—called a Napoleon sparked their conversation.

Eda, of course, was the aggressor; she was irresistibly drawn, she would not be repulsed. A stenographer in the Wessex National Bank, she boarded with a Welsh family in Spruce Street; matter-of-fact, plodding, commonplace, resembling—as Janet thought—a horse, possessing, indeed many of the noble qualities of that animal, she might have been thought the last person in the world to discern and appreciate in Janet the hidden elements of a mysterious fire. In appearance Miss Rawle was of a type not infrequent in Anglo-Saxon lands, strikingly blonde, with high malar bones, white eyelashes, and eyes of a metallic blue, cheeks of an amazing elasticity that worked rather painfully as she talked or smiled, drawing back inadequate lips, revealing long, white teeth and vivid gums. It was the craving in her for romance Janet assuaged; Eda's was the love content to pour out, that demands little. She was capable of immolation. Janet was by no means ungrateful for the warmth of such affection, though in moments conscious of a certain perplexity and sadness because she was able to give such a meagre return for the wealth of its offering.

Eda was definitely the one pursuing; she couldn’t help herself and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She worked as a stenographer at the Wessex National Bank and lived with a Welsh family on Spruce Street. She was practical, hardworking, and pretty ordinary—like a horse, in Janet’s opinion—possessing many admirable qualities of that animal. It seemed unlikely that she would recognize and value the hidden sparks of passion in Janet. Miss Rawle had a common appearance found in Anglo-Saxon countries: strikingly blonde with high cheekbones, white eyelashes, and metallic blue eyes. Her cheeks had an incredible elasticity that pulled her inadequate lips back painfully as she talked or smiled, revealing long white teeth and vibrant gums. It was Eda’s yearning for romance that Janet fulfilled; Eda was the type of love that flowed easily and demanded little in return. She was capable of self-sacrifice. Janet did appreciate the warmth of such affection, but at times felt a certain confusion and sadness for being able to give so little back in exchange for its abundant generosity.

In other moments, when the world seemed all disorder and chaos,—as Mr. Shivers described it,—or when she felt within her, like demons, those inexpressible longings and desires, leaping and straining, pulling her, almost irresistibly, she knew not whither, Eda shone forth like a light in the darkness, like the beacon of a refuge and a shelter. Eda had faith in her, even when Janet had lost faith in herself: she went to Eda in the same spirit that Marguerite went to church; though she, Janet, more resembled Faust, being—save in these hours of lowered vitality—of the forth-faring kind.... Unable to confess the need that drove her, she arrived in Eda's little bedroom to be taken into Eda's arms. Janet was immeasurably the stronger of the two, but Eda possessed the masculine trait of protectiveness, the universe never bothered her, she was one of those persons—called fortunate—to whom the orthodox Christian virtues come as naturally as sun or air. Passion, when sanctified by matrimony, was her ideal, and now it was always in terms of Janet she dreamed of it, having read about it in volumes her friend would not touch, and never having experienced deeply its discomforts. Sanctified or unsanctified, Janet regarded it with terror, and whenever Eda innocently broached the subject she recoiled. Once Eda exclaimed:—“When you do fall in love, Janet, you must tell me all about it, every word!”

In other moments, when the world felt completely chaotic—as Mr. Shivers described it—or when she felt within her, like demons, those overwhelming longings and desires, pulling her almost uncontrollably, she didn’t know where to go, Eda shone like a light in the darkness, like a beacon of safety and comfort. Eda believed in her, even when Janet had lost faith in herself: she turned to Eda with the same devotion that Marguerite had for church; though Janet, aside from these times of low energy, was more of an adventurous spirit.... Unable to admit the need that drove her, she arrived in Eda's small bedroom to be embraced by Eda. Janet was undeniably the stronger of the two, but Eda had the protective instinct of a man; the universe never fazed her, she was one of those people—considered lucky—who embodied the traditional Christian virtues as effortlessly as breathing. Passion, when blessed by marriage, was her ideal, and she always envisioned it in connection with Janet, having read about it in books her friend wouldn’t touch, and never having truly experienced its challenges. Whether blessed or unblessed, Janet viewed it with dread, and whenever Eda innocently brought it up, she shrank back. Once Eda exclaimed: “When you do fall in love, Janet, you have to tell me everything about it, every word!”

Janet blushed hotly, and was silent. In Eda's mind such an affair was a kind of glorified fireworks ending in a cluster of stars, in Janet's a volcanic eruption to turn the world red. Such was the difference between them.

Janet blushed deeply and stayed quiet. In Eda's mind, that kind of situation felt like a spectacular fireworks display ending in a shower of stars; in Janet's, it was like a volcanic eruption that would turn the world red. That was the difference between them.

Their dissipations together consisted of “sundaes” at a drug-store, or sometimes of movie shows at the Star or the Alhambra. Stereotyped on Eda's face during the legitimately tender passages of these dramas was an expression of rapture, a smile made peculiarly infatuate by that vertical line in her cheeks, that inadequacy of lip and preponderance of white teeth and red gums. It irritated, almost infuriated Janet, to whom it appeared as the logical reflection of what was passing on the screen; she averted her glance from both, staring into her lap, filled with shame that the relation between the sexes should be thus exposed to public gaze, parodied, sentimentalized, degraded.... There were, however, marvels to stir her, strange landscapes, cities, seas, and ships,—once a fire in the forest of a western reserve with gigantic tongues of orange flame leaping from tree to tree. The movies brought the world to Hampton, the great world into which she longed to fare, brought the world to her! Remote mountain hamlets from Japan, minarets and muezzins from the Orient, pyramids from Egypt, domes from Moscow resembling gilded beets turned upside down; grey houses of parliament by the Thames, the Tower of London, the Palaces of Potsdam, the Tai Mahal. Strange lands indeed, and stranger peoples! booted Russians in blouses, naked Equatorial savages tattooed and amazingly adorned, soldiers and sailors, presidents, princes and emperors brought into such startling proximity one could easily imagine one's self exchanging the time of day! Incredible to Janet how the audiences, how even Eda accepted with American complacency what were to her never-ending miracles; the yearning to see more, to know more, became acute, like a pain, but even as she sought to devour these scenes, to drink in every detail, with tantalizing swiftness they were whisked away. They were peepholes in the walls of her prison; and at night she often charmed herself to sleep with remembered visions of wide, empty, treeshaded terraces reserved for kings.

Their outings usually involved having “sundaes” at a drugstore or catching movies at the Star or the Alhambra. During the genuinely sweet moments of these films, Eda's face would light up with an expression of joy, her smile made especially captivating by the vertical line in her cheeks, her thin lips, and her prominent white teeth contrasting with her red gums. It drove Janet almost to the point of anger, as it seemed like a direct reflection of what was happening on-screen; she would look away, staring down into her lap, feeling embarrassed that the differences between men and women were so openly displayed, mocked, sentimentalized, and belittled. Yet, there were wonders that captivated her—breathtaking landscapes, cities, oceans, and ships. Once, there was a scene of a wildfire in a western forest, with huge orange flames jumping from tree to tree. The movies brought the world to Hampton, the vast world she longed to explore, right to her! Distant mountain villages in Japan, minarets and muezzins from the East, pyramids from Egypt, domes from Moscow that looked like upside-down golden beets; the grey Houses of Parliament by the Thames, the Tower of London, the palaces of Potsdam, the Taj Mahal. Strange lands indeed, and even stranger people! Booted Russians in tunics, naked savages from the equator adorned with tattoos, soldiers, sailors, presidents, princes, and emperors brought so close together that one could easily imagine greeting them! It was unbelievable to Janet how the audiences, including Eda, accepted what she viewed as endless miracles with casual American ease; her desire to see and learn more grew intense, like a painful longing, but just as she tried to soak in each scene, they disappeared in an instant. They were tiny windows into her prison; at night, she would often drift off to sleep with memories of wide, empty, tree-shaded terraces meant for kings.

But Eda, however complacent her interest in the scenes themselves, was thrilled to the marrow by their effect on Janet, who was her medium. Emerging from the vestibule of the theatre, Janet seemed not to see the slushy street, her eyes shone with a silver light like that of a mountain lake in a stormy sunset. And they walked in silence until Janet would exclaim:

But Eda, no matter how satisfied she was with the scenes themselves, was completely captivated by how they affected Janet, who was her connection to it all. As they stepped out of the theater, Janet seemed unaware of the wet street; her eyes sparkled with a silvery light like a mountain lake at a stormy sunset. They walked in silence until Janet finally exclaimed:

“Oh Eda, wouldn't you love to travel!”

“Oh Eda, don’t you wish you could travel!”

Thus Eda Rawle was brought in contact with values she herself was powerless to detect, and which did not become values until they had passed through Janet. One “educative” reel they had seen had begun with scenes in a lumber camp high in the mountains of Galicia, where grow forests of the priceless pine that becomes, after years of drying and seasoning, the sounding board of the Stradivarius and the harp. Even then it must respond to a Player. Eda, though failing to apply this poetic parallel, when alone in her little room in the Welsh boarding-house often indulged in an ecstasy of speculation as to that man, hidden in the mists of the future, whose destiny it would be to awaken her friend. Hampton did not contain him,—of this she was sure; and in her efforts to visualize him she had recourse to the movies, seeking him amongst that brilliant company of personages who stood so haughtily or walked so indifferently across the ephemeral brightness of the screen.

Thus, Eda Rawle encountered values that she was unable to recognize, which only became valuable after being shaped by Janet. One educational film they watched began with scenes from a lumber camp high in the mountains of Galicia, where forests of the precious pine grow, the type that, after years of drying and seasoning, becomes the sounding board for Stradivariuses and harps. Even then, it needed a Player to truly come alive. Although Eda didn't connect this poetic idea, she often found herself lost in thoughts in her small room at the Welsh boarding house, daydreaming about the man who, shrouded in the mists of the future, would be destined to awaken her friend. She was certain he wasn't in Hampton; in her attempts to picture him, she turned to the movies, searching for him among the vibrant characters who either carried themselves with pride or moved indifferently across the fleeting glow of the screen.

By virtue of these marvels of the movies: Hampton ugly and sordid Hampton!—actually began for Janet to take on a romantic tinge. Were not the strange peoples of the earth flocking to Hampton? She saw them arriving at the station, straight from Ellis Island, bewildered, ticketed like dumb animals, the women draped in the soft, exotic colours many of them were presently to exchange for the cheap and gaudy apparel of Faber Street. She sought to summon up in her mind the glimpses she had had of the wonderful lands from which they had come, to imagine their lives in that earlier environment. Sometimes she wandered, alone or with Eda, through the various quarters of the city. Each quarter had a flavour of its own, a synthetic flavour belonging neither to the old nor to the new, yet partaking of both: a difference in atmosphere to which Janet was keenly sensitive. In the German quarter, to the north, one felt a sort of ornamental bleakness—if the expression may be permitted: the tenements here were clean and not too crowded, the scroll-work on their superimposed porches, like that decorating the Turnverein and the stem Lutheran Church, was eloquent of a Teutonic inheritance: The Belgians were to the west, beyond the base-ball park and the car barns, their grey houses scattered among new streets beside the scarred and frowning face of Torrey's hill. Almost under the hill itself, which threatened to roll down on it, and facing a bottomless, muddy street, was the quaint little building giving the note of foreign thrift, of socialism and shrewdness, of joie de vivre to the settlement, the Franco-Belgian co-operative store, with its salle de reunion above and a stage for amateur theatricals. Standing in the mud outside, Janet would gaze through the tiny windows in the stucco wall at the baskets prepared for each household laid in neat rows beside the counter; at the old man with the watery blue eyes and lacing of red in his withered cheeks who spoke no English, whose duty it was to distribute the baskets to the women and children as they called.

By the wonders of movies: ugly and grimy Hampton!—Janet began to see Hampton in a more romantic light. Weren’t people from all over the world arriving in Hampton? She noticed them coming into the station, straight from Ellis Island, confused, carrying tickets like livestock, the women draped in soft, exotic colors that many would soon trade for the cheap and flashy clothes of Faber Street. She tried to recall the glimpses she’d had of the amazing places they came from, imagining their lives in those earlier environments. Sometimes, she wandered alone or with Eda through different neighborhoods in the city. Each neighborhood had its own unique vibe, a blend of the old and the new, which Janet could feel deeply. In the German neighborhood to the north, there was a kind of decorative bleakness—if that’s the right phrase: the tenements were clean and not too crowded, the scrollwork on their porches, like that of the Turnverein and the Lutheran Church, spoke of a Teutonic heritage. The Belgians were to the west, past the baseball park and the streetcar barns, their gray houses sprinkled among new roads at the foot of the rugged, imposing Torrey’s hill. Almost under the hill, which seemed ready to slide down, and facing a muddy, bottomless street, was a quaint little building adding a note of foreign thriftiness, socialism, and liveliness to the settlement—the Franco-Belgian co-operative store, with its meeting room above and a stage for amateur plays. Standing in the mud outside, Janet would gaze through the small windows in the stucco wall at the baskets prepared for each household, neatly lined up next to the counter; at the old man with watery blue eyes and hints of red in his weathered cheeks who spoke no English, whose job it was to hand out the baskets to the women and children as they came.

Turning eastward again, one came to Dey Street, in the heart of Hampton, where Hibernian Hall stood alone and grim, sole testimony of the departed Hibernian glories of a district where the present Irish rulers of the city had once lived and gossiped and fought in the days when the mill bells had roused the boarding-house keepers at half past four of a winter morning. Beside the hall was a corner lot, heaped high with hills of ashes and rubbish like the vomitings of some filthy volcano; the unsightliness of which was half concealed by huge signs announcing the merits of chewing gums, tobaccos, and cereals. But why had the departure of the Irish, the coming of the Syrians made Dey Street dark, narrow, mysterious, oriental? changed the very aspect of its architecture? Was it the coffee-houses? One of these, in front of which Janet liked to linger, was set weirdly into an old New England cottage, and had, apparently, fathomless depths. In summer the whole front of it lay open to the street, and here all day long, beside the table where the charcoal squares were set to dry, could be seen saffron-coloured Armenians absorbed in a Turkish game played on a backgammon board, their gentleness and that of the loiterers looking on in strange contrast with their hawk-like profiles and burning eyes. Behind this group, in the half light of the middle interior, could be discerned an American soda-water fountain of a bygone fashion, on its marble counter oddly shaped bottles containing rose and violet syrups; there was a bottle-shaped stove, and on the walls, in gilt frames, pictures evidently dating from the period in American art that flourished when Franklin Pierce was President; and there was an array of marble topped tables extending far back into the shadows. Behind the fountain was a sort of cupboard—suggestive of the Arabian Nights, which Janet had never read—from which, occasionally, the fat proprietor emerged bearing Turkish coffee or long Turkish pipes.

Turning east again, you reach Dey Street, right in the heart of Hampton, where Hibernian Hall stood alone and grim, the only reminder of the lost Hibernian glory in an area where the current Irish leaders of the city had once lived, socialized, and fought during the days when the mill bells woke up the boarding-house owners at half past four on winter mornings. Next to the hall was a corner lot, piled high with mounds of ashes and trash like the aftermath of some disgusting volcano; the ugliness of it was partially hidden by large signs advertising chewing gum, tobacco, and cereals. But why did the Irish leaving and the arrival of the Syrians make Dey Street dark, narrow, mysterious, and exotic? Why did it change the look of its architecture? Was it the coffee shops? One of these, where Janet liked to linger, was oddly built into an old New England cottage and seemed to have endless depths. In summer, the entire front opened up to the street, and all day long, beside the table where the charcoal squares were drying, you could see saffron-colored Armenians engrossed in a Turkish game played on a backgammon board, their gentleness contrasting strangely with their hawk-like features and intense eyes. Behind this group, in the dim light of the interior, you could make out an old-fashioned American soda fountain, with oddly shaped bottles of rose and violet syrups on its marble counter; there was a bottle-shaped stove, and the walls were lined with gilt-framed pictures that clearly dated back to the period in American art that thrived when Franklin Pierce was President; and there was a row of marble-topped tables extending far into the shadows. Behind the fountain was a sort of cupboard—reminiscent of the Arabian Nights, which Janet had never read—from which the plump owner would occasionally appear, carrying Turkish coffee or long Turkish pipes.

When not thus occupied the proprietor carried a baby. The street swarmed with babies, and mothers nursed them on the door-steps. And in this teeming, prolific street one could scarcely move without stepping on a fat, almond eyed child, though some, indeed, were wheeled; wheeled in all sorts of queer contrivances by one another, by fathers with ragged black moustaches and eagle noses who, to the despair of mill superintendents, had decided in the morning that three days' wages would since to support their families for the week.... In the midst of the throng might be seen occasionally the stout and comfortable and not too immaculate figure of a shovel bearded Syrian priest, in a frock coat and square-topped “Derby” hat, sailing along serenely, heedless of the children who scattered out of his path.

When not busy, the owner carried a baby. The street was full of babies, and mothers were nursing them on the doorsteps. In this crowded, thriving street, it was hard to move without stepping on a plump, almond-eyed child, though some were indeed in strollers; pushed in all sorts of odd contraptions by fathers with ragged black mustaches and sharp noses who, to the frustration of factory managers, had decided that three days' wages would be enough to support their families for the week... Amid the crowd, one could occasionally see the stout and comfortable, not-so-clean figure of a shovel-bearded Syrian priest, dressed in a frock coat and wearing a square-topped "Derby" hat, moving along peacefully, oblivious to the children that scattered from his path.

Nearby was the quarter of the Canadian French, scarcely now to be called foreigners, though still somewhat reminiscent of the cramped little towns in the northern wilderness of water and forest. On one corner stood almost invariably a “Pharmacie Francaise”; the signs were in French, and the elders spoke the patois. These, despite the mill pallor, retained in their faces, in their eyes, a suggestion of the outdoor look of their ancestors, the coureurs des bois, but the children spoke English, and the young men, as they played baseball in the street or in the corner lots might be heard shouting out derisively the cry of the section hands so familiar in mill cities, “Doff, you beggars you, doff!”

Nearby was the neighborhood of the Canadian French, hardly foreign anymore, though still a bit reminiscent of the cramped little towns in the northern wilderness of water and forest. On one corner, there was almost always a “Pharmacie Francaise”; the signs were in French, and the elders spoke in a local dialect. These individuals, despite their pale, mill-worn faces, still had a hint of the outdoor spirit from their ancestors, the coureurs des bois. However, the children spoke English, and the young men, as they played baseball in the street or in the empty lots, could be heard shouting mockingly the familiar cry of the section workers in mill cities, “Doff, you beggars you, doff!”

Occasionally the two girls strayed into that wide thoroughfare not far from the canal, known by the classic name of Hawthorne, which the Italians had appropriated to themselves. This street, too, in spite of the telegraph poles flaunting crude arms in front of its windows, in spite of the trolley running down its middle, had acquired a character, a unity all its own, a warmth and picturesqueness that in the lingering light of summer evenings assumed an indefinable significance. It was not Italy, but it was something—something proclaimed in the ornate, leaning lines of the pillared balconies of the yellow tenement on the second block, in the stone-vaulted entrance of the low house next door, in fantastically coloured walls, in curtained windows out of which leaned swarthy, earringed women. Blocking the end of the street, in stern contrast, was the huge Clarendon Mill with its sinister brick pillars running up the six stories between the glass. Here likewise the sidewalks overflowed with children, large-headed, with great, lustrous eyes, mute, appealing, the eyes of cattle. Unlike American children, they never seemed to be playing. Among the groups of elders gathered for gossip were piratical Calabrians in sombre clothes, descended from Greek ancestors, once the terrors of the Adriatic Sea. The women, lingering in the doorways, hemmed in by more children, were for the most part squat and plump, but once in a while Janet's glance was caught and held by a strange, sharp beauty worthy of a cameo.

Occasionally, the two girls wandered into that wide street not far from the canal, known by the classic name of Hawthorne, which the Italians had claimed for themselves. This street, despite the telegraph poles flaunting crude arms in front of its windows, and the trolley running down its middle, had developed its own character, unity, warmth, and charm that, in the fading light of summer evenings, took on an indescribable significance. It wasn't Italy, but it was something—something expressed in the ornate, slanted lines of the pillared balconies of the yellow tenement on the second block, in the stone-vaulted entrance of the low house next door, in the vibrantly colored walls, and in curtained windows where swarthy, earring-wearing women leaned out. At the end of the street, in stark contrast, was the massive Clarendon Mill with its grim brick pillars rising six stories between the glass. Here, too, the sidewalks were crowded with children, big-headed with bright, lustrous eyes, silent and pleading, like the eyes of cattle. Unlike American children, they never seemed to be playing. Among the groups of adults gathered to gossip were piratical Calabrians in dark clothing, descended from Greek ancestors who once terrorized the Adriatic Sea. The women, lingering in the doorways, surrounded by more children, were mostly short and plump, but every once in a while, Janet's gaze was caught and held by a peculiar, sharp beauty deserving of a cameo.

Opposite the Clarendon Mill on the corner of East Street was a provision store with stands of fruit and vegetables encroaching on the pavement. Janet's eye was attracted by a box of olives.

Opposite the Clarendon Mill on the corner of East Street was a grocery store with displays of fruit and vegetables spilling onto the sidewalk. Janet's attention was drawn to a box of olives.

“Oh Eda,” she cried, “do you remember, we saw them being picked—in the movies? All those old trees on the side of a hill?”

“Oh Eda,” she exclaimed, “do you remember when we saw them getting picked—in the movies? All those old trees on the hillside?”

“Why, that's so,” said Eda. “You never would have thought anything'd grow on those trees.”

“Absolutely,” said Eda. “You would never have guessed anything could grow on those trees.”

The young Italian who kept the store gave them a friendly grin.

The young Italian running the store gave them a friendly smile.

“You lika the olives?” he asked, putting some of the shining black fruit into their hands. Eda bit one dubiously with her long, white teeth, and giggled.

“Do you like olives?” he asked, placing some of the shiny black fruit into their hands. Eda took a bite with her long, white teeth, and giggled.

“Don't they taste funny!” she exclaimed.

“Don't they taste weird!” she exclaimed.

“Good—very good,” he asserted gravely, and it was to Janet he turned, as though recognizing a discrimination not to be found in her companion. She nodded affirmatively. The strange taste of the fruit enhanced her sense of adventure, she tried to imagine herself among the gatherers in the grove; she glanced at the young man to perceive that he was tall and well formed, with remarkably expressive eyes almost the colour of the olives themselves. It surprised her that she liked him, though he was an Italian and a foreigner: a certain debonnair dignity in him appealed to her—a quality lacking in many of her own countrymen.

“Good—very good,” he said seriously, turning to Janet as if he recognized a distinction that wasn’t present in her companion. She nodded in agreement. The unusual taste of the fruit heightened her sense of adventure; she imagined herself among the gatherers in the grove. She glanced at the young man and noticed he was tall and well-built, with strikingly expressive eyes almost the same color as the olives. She was surprised that she liked him, even though he was Italian and a foreigner: there was a charming dignity about him that appealed to her—a quality that many of her own countrymen lacked.

And she wanted to talk to him about Italy,—only she did not know how to begin,—when a customer appeared, an Italian woman who conversed with him in soft, liquid tones that moved her....

And she wanted to talk to him about Italy—but she didn't know how to start—when a customer showed up, an Italian woman who spoke to him in gentle, fluid tones that captivated her....

Sometimes on these walks—especially if the day were grey and sombre—Janet's sense of romance and adventure deepened, became more poignant, charged with presage. These feelings, vague and unaccountable, she was utterly unable to confide to Eda, yet the very fear they inspired was fascinating; a fear and a hope that some day, in all this Babel of peoples, something would happen! It was as though the conflicting soul of the city and her own soul were one....

Sometimes on these walks—especially if the day was gray and gloomy—Janet's sense of romance and adventure deepened, becoming more intense and filled with meaning. These emotions, vague and hard to explain, were ones she couldn’t share with Eda, yet the very fear they brought was intriguing; a fear mixed with hope that someday, in this chaotic mix of people, something significant would occur! It felt as if the city’s conflicting spirit and her own were connected....





CHAPTER III

Lise was the only member of the Bumpus family who did not find uncongenial such distractions and companionships as were offered by the civilization that surrounded them. The Bagatelle she despised; that was slavery—but slavery out of which she might any day be snatched, like Leila Hawtrey, by a prince charming who had made a success in life. Success to Lise meant money. Although what some sentimental sociologists might call a victim of our civilization, Lise would not have changed it, since it produced not only Lise herself, but also those fabulous financiers with yachts and motors and town and country houses she read about in the supplements of the Sunday newspapers. It contained her purgatory, which she regarded in good conventional fashion as a mere temporary place of detention, and likewise the heaven toward which she strained, the dwelling-place of light. In short, her philosophy was that of the modern, orthodox American, tinged by a somewhat commercialized Sunday school tradition of an earlier day, and highly approved by the censors of the movies. The peculiar kind of abstinence once euphemistically known as “virtue,” particularly if it were combined with beauty, never failed of its reward. Lise, in this sense, was indeed virtuous, and her mirror told her she was beautiful. Almost anything could happen to such a lady: any day she might be carried up into heaven by that modern chariot of fire, the motor car, driven by a celestial chauffeur.

Lise was the only member of the Bumpus family who didn’t find the distractions and company offered by their surrounding civilization unappealing. She despised the Bagatelle; that was slavery—but a slavery from which she could be rescued at any moment, like Leila Hawtrey, by a charming prince who had achieved success in life. To Lise, success meant money. Even though some sentimental sociologists might label her a victim of our civilization, Lise wouldn’t change it, since it produced not just herself, but also the wealthy financiers with yachts, cars, and fancy homes she read about in the Sunday newspaper supplements. It was her purgatory, viewed in a conventional way as merely a temporary holding area, and also the heaven she aspired to, a place filled with light. In short, her philosophy reflected that of the modern, traditional American, influenced by a somewhat commercialized Sunday school tradition from earlier times, and highly approved by movie censors. The unique kind of restraint once called “virtue,” especially when mixed with beauty, always received its rewards. In this sense, Lise was indeed virtuous, and her mirror confirmed her beauty. Almost anything could happen to a woman like her: any day she might be swept up to heaven by that modern chariot of fire, the car, driven by a heavenly chauffeur.

One man's meat being another's poison, Lise absorbed from the movies an element by which her sister Janet was repelled. A popular production known as “Leila of Hawtrey's” contained her creed,—Hawtrey's being a glittering metropolitan restaurant where men of the world are wont to gather and discuss the stock market, and Leila a beautiful, blonde and orphaned waitress upon whom several of the fashionable frequenters had exercised seductive powers in vain. They lay in wait for her at the side entrance, followed her, while one dissipated and desperate person, married, and said to move in the most exclusive circles, sent her an offer of a yearly income in five figures, the note being reproduced on the screen, and Leila pictured reading it in her frigid hall-bedroom. There are complications; she is in debt, and the proprietor of Hawtrey's has threatened to discharge her and in order that the magnitude of the temptation may be most effectively realized the vision appears of Leila herself, wrapped in furs, stepping out of a limousine and into an elevator lifting her to an apartment containing silk curtains, a Canet bed, a French maid, and a Pomeranian. Virtue totters, but triumphs, being reinforced by two more visions the first of these portrays Leila, prematurely old, dragging herself along pavements under the metallic Broadway lights accosting gentlemen in evening dress; and the second reveals her in the country, kneeling beside a dying mother's bed, giving her promise to remain true to the Christian teachings of her childhood.

One person's pleasure is another's poison; Lise got something from the movies that her sister Janet couldn’t stand. A popular film called “Leila of Hawtrey's” captured her beliefs. Hawtrey's was a fancy city restaurant where worldly men gathered to talk about the stock market, and Leila was a beautiful blonde waitress and an orphan, whom several stylish patrons had tried and failed to seduce. They would wait for her at the side entrance, follow her; one married and desperate man, who was said to move in the most elite circles, even offered her a six-figure annual salary, the note shown on screen, with Leila reading it in her cold room. There are complications; she is in debt, and the owner of Hawtrey's has threatened to fire her. To emphasize the temptation, a vision appears of Leila herself, wrapped in furs, stepping out of a limousine and into an elevator that takes her to an apartment with silk curtains, a Canet bed, a French maid, and a Pomeranian. Virtue wavers but ultimately prevails, supported by two more visions: the first shows Leila, aged before her time, dragging herself along the pavement under the harsh Broadway lights, approaching men in tuxedos; the second reveals her in the countryside, kneeling beside her dying mother’s bed, promising to stay true to the Christian principles she was raised with.

And virtue is rewarded, lavishly, as virtue should be, in dollars and cents, in stocks and bonds, in pearls and diamonds. Popular fancy takes kindly to rough but honest westerners who have begun life in flannel shirts, who have struck gold and come to New York with a fortune but despising effeteness; such a one, tanned by the mountain sun, embarrassed in raiment supplied by a Fifth Avenue tailor, takes a table one evening at Hawtrey's and of course falls desperately in love. He means marriage from the first, and his faith in Leila is great enough to survive what appears to be an almost total eclipse of her virtue. Through the machinations of the influential villain, and lured by the false pretence that one of her girl friends is ill, she is enticed into a mysterious house of a sinister elegance, and apparently irretrievably compromised. The westerner follows, forces his way through the portals, engages the villain, and vanquishes him. Leila becomes a Bride. We behold her, at the end, mistress of one of those magnificent stone mansions with grilled vestibules and negro butlers into whose sacred precincts we are occasionally, in the movies, somewhat breathlessly ushered—a long way from Hawtrey's restaurant and a hall-bedroom. A long way, too, from the Bagatelle and Fillmore Street—but to Lise a way not impossible, nor even improbable.

And virtue is rewarded generously, as it should be, in cash, in stocks and bonds, in pearls and diamonds. People are drawn to rugged but honest westerners who started out in flannel shirts, struck gold, and came to New York with their fortunes while looking down on pretentiousness; this type, sunburned from the mountains, awkward in clothes from a Fifth Avenue tailor, ends up at a table one night at Hawtrey's and inevitably falls head over heels in love. From the start, he wants marriage, and he believes in Leila enough to withstand what seems like an almost total loss of her virtue. Due to the scheming of a powerful villain, and tricked by the false claim that one of her friends is sick, she is lured into a mysterious house exuding a dark elegance, seemingly ruined. The westerner follows, barges in, confronts the villain, and defeats him. Leila becomes a bride. In the end, we see her as the mistress of one of those grand stone mansions with wrought-iron entrances and African American butlers, places we’re sometimes breathlessly shown in the movies—a long way from Hawtrey's restaurant and a small, shared room. It’s also a long way from Bagatelle and Fillmore Street—but for Lise, it’s a journey that feels possible, maybe even likely.

This work of art, conveying the moral that virtue is an economic asset, made a great impression on Lise. Good Old Testament doctrine, set forth in the Book of Job itself. And Leila, pictured as holding out for a higher price and getting it, encouraged Lise to hold out also. Mr. Wiley, in whose company she had seen this play, and whose likeness filled the plush and silver-plated frame on her bureau, remained ironically ignorant of the fact that he had paid out his money to make definite an ambition, an ideal hitherto nebulous in the mind of the lady whom he adored. Nor did Lise enlighten him, being gifted with a certain inscrutableness. As a matter of fact it had never been her intention to accept him, but now that she was able concretely to visualize her Lochinvar of the future, Mr. Whey's lack of qualifications became the more apparent. In the first place, he had been born in Lowell and had never been west of Worcester; in the second, his salary was sixteen dollars a week: it is true she had once fancied the Scottish terrier style of hair-cut abruptly ending in the rounded line of the shaven neck, but Lochinvar had been close-cropped. Mr. Wiley, close-cropped, would have resembled a convict.

This artwork, conveying the idea that virtue is a valuable asset, made a strong impression on Lise. It reflected solid Old Testament teachings, as outlined in the Book of Job. And Leila, portrayed as holding out for a better offer and succeeding, inspired Lise to do the same. Mr. Wiley, with whom she had watched this play, and whose image filled the plush and silver-plated frame on her dresser, remained ironically unaware that he had spent his money to solidify an ambition, an ideal that had previously been unclear to the woman he adored. Lise also didn’t enlighten him, as she had a certain mysteriousness about her. In fact, she had never intended to accept him, but now that she could clearly picture her ideal partner for the future, Mr. Whey’s shortcomings became more obvious. For one, he was born in Lowell and had never traveled west of Worcester; for another, he earned just sixteen dollars a week. It’s true she had once liked the Scottish terrier-style haircut that ended in a smooth line at the neck, but Lochinvar had been closely cropped. Mr. Wiley, with that same close-cropped look, would have reminded her of a convict.

Mr. Wiley was in love, there could be no doubt about that, and if he had not always meant marriage, he meant it now, having reached a state where no folly seems preposterous. The manner of their meeting had had just the adventurous and romantic touch that Lise liked, one of her favourite amusements in the intervals between “steadies” being to walk up and down Faber Street of an evening after supper, arm in arm with two or three other young ladies, all chewing gum, wheeling into store windows and wheeling out again, pretending the utmost indifference to melting glances cast in their direction. An exciting sport, though incomprehensible to masculine intelligence. It was a principle with Lise to pay no attention to any young man who was not “presented,” those venturing to approach her with the ready formula “Haven't we met before?” being instantly congealed. She was strict as to etiquette. But Mr. Wiley, it seemed, could claim acquaintance with Miss Schuler, one of the ladies to whose arm Lise's was linked, and he had the further advantage of appearing in a large and seductive touring car, painted green, with an eagle poised above the hood and its name, Wizard, in a handwriting rounded and bold, written in nickel across the radiator. He greeted Miss Schuler effusively, but his eye was on Lise from the first, and it was she he took with, him in the front seat, indifferent to the giggling behind. Ever since then Lise had had a motor at her disposal, and on Sundays they took long “joy rides” beyond the borders of the state. But it must not be imagined that Mr. Whey was the proprietor of the vehicle; nor was he a chauffeur,—her American pride would not have permitted her to keep company with a chauffeur: he was the demonstrator for the Wizard, something of a wizard himself, as Lise had to admit when they whizzed over the tarvia of the Riverside Boulevard at fifty or sixty miles an hour with the miner cut out—a favourite diversion of Mr. Whey's, who did not feel he was going unless he was accompanied by a noise like that of a mitrailleuse in action. Lise, experiencing a ravishing terror, hung on to her hat with one hand and to Mr. Wiley with the other, her code permitting this; permitting him also, occasionally, when they found themselves in tenebrous portions of Slattery's Riverside Park, to put his arm around her waist and kiss her. So much did Lise's virtue allow, and no more, the result being that he existed in a tantalizing state of hope and excitement most detrimental to the nerves.

Mr. Wiley was definitely in love, there was no doubt about that, and even if he hadn’t always planned on marriage, he did now, having reached a point where any kind of foolishness seemed reasonable. The way they met had just the adventurous and romantic vibe that Lise loved, one of her favorite pastimes when she wasn’t with a steady boyfriend was to stroll up and down Faber Street in the evenings after dinner, arm in arm with a couple of other young ladies, all chewing gum, swerving into store windows and then swerving out again, pretending to be completely indifferent to the longing glances thrown their way. It was an exciting game, even if it made no sense to guys. Lise had a rule to ignore any young man who wasn’t “introduced,” and those who dared to approach her with the typical “Haven’t we met before?” were instantly shut down. She was strict about etiquette. But Mr. Wiley, it seemed, could claim to know Miss Schuler, one of the ladies Lise was linked with, and he also had the advantage of driving a big, attractive touring car, painted green, with an eagle perched on the hood and its name, Wizard, written in bold, rounded nickel letters across the radiator. He greeted Miss Schuler warmly, but his eyes were on Lise from the start, and it was she he took with him in the front seat, ignoring the giggles from behind. Since then, Lise had a car at her disposal, and on Sundays they went on long “joy rides” beyond the state lines. But it shouldn’t be thought that Mr. Whey owned the car; nor was he a chauffeur—her American pride wouldn’t have let her be seen with a chauffeur: he was the demonstrator for the Wizard, something of a wizard himself, as Lise had to admit when they zoomed over the smooth Riverside Boulevard at fifty or sixty miles an hour, with the miner cut out—a favorite thrill of Mr. Whey’s, who didn’t feel properly accompanied unless there was a noise like machine-gun fire. Lise, caught between exhilaration and fear, held onto her hat with one hand and Mr. Wiley with the other, her code allowing for that; allowing him, too, occasionally, when they found themselves in dark corners of Slattery’s Riverside Park, to put his arm around her waist and kiss her. That was as far as Lise’s virtue would go, leaving him in a teasing state of hope and excitement that was really hard on his nerves.

He never lost, however,—in public at least, or before Lise's family,—the fine careless, jaunty air of the demonstrator, of the free-lance for whom seventy miles an hour has no terrors; the automobile, apparently, like the ship, sets a stamp upon its votaries. No Elizabethan buccaneer swooping down on defenceless coasts ever exceeded in audacity Mr. Wiley's invasion of quiet Fillmore Street. He would draw up with an ear-splitting screaming of brakes in front of the clay-yellow house, and sometimes the muffler, as though unable to repress its approval of the performance, would let out a belated pop that never failed to jar the innermost being of Auermann, who had been shot at, or rather shot past, by an Italian, and knew what it was. He hated automobiles, he hated Mr. Wiley.

He never lost, at least in public or in front of Lise's family, his laid-back, confident vibe as a showman, the free spirit for whom going seventy miles an hour was child's play; it seemed that both cars and ships left a mark on their fans. No Elizabethan pirate swooping down on unprotected shores matched the boldness of Mr. Wiley's arrival on quiet Fillmore Street. He would pull up with a deafening screech of brakes right in front of the clay-yellow house, and sometimes the muffler, as if unable to hold back its excitement, would let out a late pop that always jolted Auermann to his core, a man who had been shot at, or more accurately, shot past, by an Italian and knew how it felt. He hated cars, he hated Mr. Wiley.

“Vat you do?” he would demand, glaring.

“What are you doing?” he would ask, staring.

And Mr. Wiley would laugh insolently.

And Mr. Wiley would laugh arrogantly.

“You think I done it, do you, Dutchie—huh!”

“You think I did it, do you, Dutchie—huh!”

He would saunter past, up the stairs, and into the Bumpus dining-room, often before the family had finished their evening meal. Lise alone made him welcome, albeit demurely; but Mr. Wiley, not having sensibilities, was proof against Hannah's coldness and Janet's hostility. With unerring instinct he singled out Edward as his victim.

He would stroll by, up the stairs, and into the Bumpus dining room, often before the family had finished their dinner. Only Lise welcomed him, although shyly; but Mr. Wiley, lacking sensitivities, wasn't affected by Hannah's chilliness or Janet's hostility. With a keen instinct, he targeted Edward as his victim.

“How's Mr. Bumpus this evening?” he would genially inquire.

“How's Mr. Bumpus tonight?” he would ask in a friendly way.

Edward invariably assured Mr. Wiley that he was well, invariably took a drink of coffee to emphasize the fact, as though the act of lifting his cup had in it some magic to ward off the contempt of his wife and elder daughter.

Edward always reassured Mr. Wiley that he was fine, consistently had a sip of coffee to stress his point, as if the simple act of raising his cup had some sort of magic to protect him from the disdain of his wife and older daughter.

“Well, I've got it pretty straight that the Arundel's going to run nights, starting next week,” Lise's suitor would continue.

“Well, I've got it all figured out that the Arundel's going to be open at night, starting next week,” Lise's suitor would continue.

And to save his soul Edward could not refrain from answering, “You don't say so!” He feigned interest in the information that the Hampton Ball Team, owing to an unsatisfactory season, was to change managers next year. Mr. Wiley possessed the gift of gathering recondite bits of news, he had confidence in his topics and in his manner of dealing with them; and Edward, pretending to be entertained, went so far in his politeness as to ask Mr. Wiley if he had had supper.

And to save face, Edward couldn't help but respond, “You don't say!” He pretended to be interested in the news that the Hampton Ball Team, after a disappointing season, was going to change managers next year. Mr. Wiley had a knack for picking up obscure bits of information; he was confident in his topics and how he presented them. Edward, acting entertained, went so far in his politeness as to ask Mr. Wiley if he had had dinner.

“I don't care if I sample one of Mis' Bumpus's doughnuts,” Mr. Wiley would reply politely, reaching out a large hand that gave evidence, in spite of Sapolio, of an intimacy with grease cups and splash pans. “I guess there's nobody in this burg can make doughnuts to beat yours, Miss Bumpus.”

“I don't mind having one of Miss Bumpus's doughnuts,” Mr. Wiley would reply kindly, extending a big hand that showed, despite his cleanliness, a familiarity with grease cups and splash pans. “I suppose there's no one in this town who can make doughnuts better than yours, Miss Bumpus.”

If she had only known which doughnut he would take; Hannah sometimes thought she might have been capable of putting arsenic in it. Her icy silence did not detract from the delights of his gestation.

If she had only known which doughnut he would pick; Hannah sometimes thought she might have actually been able to put arsenic in it. Her cold silence didn’t take away from the joys of his development.

Occasionally, somewhat to Edward's alarm, Hannah demanded: “Where are you taking Lise this evening?”

Occasionally, to Edward's surprise, Hannah asked, “Where are you taking Lise tonight?”

Mr. Wiley's wisdom led him to be vague.

Mr. Wiley's wisdom made him unclear.

“Oh, just for a little spin up the boulevard. Maybe we'll pick up Ella Schuler and one or two other young ladies.”

“Oh, just for a quick drive down the boulevard. Maybe we’ll pick up Ella Schuler and a couple of other girls.”

Hannah and Janet knew very well he had no intention of doing this, and Hannah did not attempt to conceal her incredulity. As a matter of fact, Lise sometimes did insist on a “party.”

Hannah and Janet knew very well he had no intention of doing this, and Hannah did not try to hide her disbelief. In fact, Lise sometimes did insist on a “party.”

“I want you should bring her back by ten o'clock. That's late enough for a girl who works to be out. It's late enough for any girl.”

“I want you to bring her back by ten o'clock. That's late enough for a girl who works to be out. It's late enough for any girl.”

“Sure, Mis' Bumpus,” Wiley would respond easily.

“Sure, Ms. Bumpus,” Wiley would reply casually.

Hannah chafed because she had no power to enforce this, because Mr. Wiley and Lise understood she had no power. Lise went to put on her hat; if she skimped her toilet in the morning, she made up for it in the evening when she came home from the store, and was often late for supper. In the meantime, while Lise was in the bedroom adding these last touches, Edward would contemptibly continue the conversation, fingering the Evening Banner as it lay in his lap, while Mr. Wiley helped himself boldly to another doughnut, taking—as Janet observed—elaborate precautions to spill none of the crumbs on a brown suit, supposed to be the last creation in male attire. Behind a plate glass window in Faber Street, belonging to a firm of “custom” tailors whose stores had invaded every important city in the country, and who made clothes for “college” men, only the week before Mr. Wiley had seen this same suit artistically folded, combined with a coloured shirt, brown socks, and tie and “torture” collar—lures for the discriminating. Owing to certain expenses connected with Lise, he had been unable to acquire the shirt and the tie, but he had bought the suit in the hope and belief that she would find him irresistible therein. It pleased him, too, to be taken for a “college” man, and on beholding in the mirror his broadened shoulders and diminished waist he was quite convinced his money had not been spent in vain; that strange young ladies—to whom, despite his infatuation for the younger Miss Bumpus, he was not wholly indifferent—would mistake him for an undergraduate of Harvard,—an imposition concerning which he had no scruples. But Lise, though shaken, had not capitulated.....

Hannah was frustrated because she had no authority to enforce this, knowing that Mr. Wiley and Lise were aware of her lack of power. Lise went to put on her hat; if she rushed her morning routine, she made up for it in the evening after returning from the store, often arriving late for dinner. In the meantime, while Lise was in the bedroom putting on the finishing touches, Edward would snidely continue their conversation, fiddling with the Evening Banner in his lap, while Mr. Wiley boldly helped himself to another doughnut, taking—as Janet noted—careful measures to avoid spilling crumbs on his brown suit, thought to be the latest in men's fashion. Behind a plate glass window on Faber Street, owned by a "custom" tailor firm that had spread to every major city in the country and made clothes for "college" men, Mr. Wiley had seen this same suit artfully displayed just a week before, paired with a colorful shirt, brown socks, a tie, and a “torture” collar—temptations for those with discerning tastes. Due to some expenses related to Lise, he hadn't been able to buy the shirt and tie, but he had purchased the suit hoping she would find him irresistible in it. It also pleased him to pass for a "college" man, and when he saw his broadened shoulders and slimmer waist in the mirror, he was quite convinced his money had been well spent; he imagined that attractive young women—who, despite his crush on the younger Miss Bumpus, he found somewhat appealing—would mistake him for a Harvard undergraduate, an act he had no qualms about. But Lise, although shaken, had not given in...

When she returned to the dining-room, arrayed in her own finery, demure, triumphant, and had carried off Mr. Whey there would ensue an interval of silence broken only by the clattering together of the dishes Hannah snatched up.

When she came back to the dining room, dressed in her own fancy clothes, modest yet victorious, and had taken Mr. Whey away, there would be a moment of silence, interrupted only by the clattering of the dishes Hannah hurriedly grabbed.

“I guess he's the kind of son-in-law would suit you,” she threw over her shoulder once to Edward.

“I guess he’s the kind of son-in-law that would be good for you,” she said to Edward as she walked away.

“Why?” he inquired, letting down his newspaper nervously.

“Why?” he asked, lowering his newspaper anxiously.

“Well, you seem to favour him, to make things as pleasant for him as you can.”

“Well, you seem to like him and do everything you can to make things nice for him.”

Edward would grow warm with a sense of injustice, the inference being that he was to blame for Mr. Wiley; if he had been a different kind of father another sort of suitor would be courting Lise.

Edward would feel a surge of anger over the unfairness, implying that he was responsible for Mr. Wiley; if he had been a different type of father, a different kind of suitor would be pursuing Lise.

“I have to be civil,” he protested. He pronounced that, word “civil” exquisitely, giving equal value to both syllables.

“I have to be polite,” he protested. He pronounced the word “polite” perfectly, giving equal emphasis to both syllables.

“Civil!” Hannah scoffed, as she left the room; and to Janet, who had followed her into the kitchen, she added: “That's the trouble with your father, he's always be'n a little too civil. Edward Bumpus is just as simple as a child, he's afraid of offending folks' feelings.... Think of being polite to that Whey!” In those two words Hannah announced eloquently her utter condemnation of the demonstrator of the Wizard. It was characteristic of her, however, when she went back for another load of dishes and perceived that Edward was only pretending to read his Banner, to attempt to ease her husband's feelings. She thought it queer because she was still fond of Edward Bumpus, after all he had “brought on her.”

“Civil!” Hannah scoffed as she left the room. To Janet, who followed her into the kitchen, she added, “That's the problem with your dad; he's always been a little too polite. Edward Bumpus is as simple as a child—he's scared of hurting people’s feelings... Can you imagine being nice to that Whey?” With those two words, Hannah clearly expressed her total disapproval of the Wizard’s demonstrator. It was typical of her, though, when she went back for another load of dishes and noticed that Edward was only pretending to read his Banner, to try to soften her husband’s feelings. She found it strange because she still had a soft spot for Edward Bumpus, given all that he had “put her through.”

“It's Lise,” she said, as though speaking to Janet, “she attracts 'em. Sometimes I just can't get used to it that she's my daughter. I don't know who she takes after. She's not like any of my kin, nor any of the Bumpuses.”

“It's Lise,” she said, as if talking to Janet, “she draws them in. Sometimes I can’t wrap my head around the fact that she’s my daughter. I have no idea who she gets it from. She’s nothing like my family or any of the Bumpuses.”

“What can you do?” asked Edward. “You can't order him out of the house. It's better for him to come here. And you can't stop Lise from going with him—she's earning her own money....”

“What can you do?” Edward asked. “You can't kick him out of the house. It's better for him to be here. And you can't stop Lise from going with him—she's making her own money....”

They had talked over the predicament before, and always came to the same impasse. In the privacy of the kitchen Hannah paused suddenly in her energetic rubbing of a plate and with supreme courage uttered a question.

They had discussed the situation before and always reached the same deadlock. In the privacy of the kitchen, Hannah suddenly stopped her vigorous scrubbing of a plate and, with great courage, asked a question.

“Janet, do you calculate he means anything wrong?”

“Janet, do you think he means anything bad?”

“I don't know what he means,” Janet replied, unwilling to give Mr. Wiley credit for anything, “but I know this, that Lise is too smart to let him take advantage of her.”

“I don't know what he means,” Janet replied, not wanting to give Mr. Wiley any credit, “but I know this: Lise is too smart to let him take advantage of her.”

Hannah ruminated. Cleverness as the modern substitute for feminine virtue did not appeal to her, but she let it pass. She was in no mood to quarrel with any quality that would ward off disgrace.

Hannah thought to herself. Being clever as the new version of feminine virtue didn’t interest her, but she ignored it. She wasn’t in the mood to argue with anything that could prevent shame.

“I don't know what to make of Lise—she don't appear to have any principles....”

“I don't know what to think of Lise—she doesn’t seem to have any principles....”

If the Wiley affair lasted longer than those preceding it, this was because former suitors had not commanded automobiles. When Mr. Wiley lost his automobile he lost his luck—if it may be called such. One April evening, after a stroll with Eda, Janet reached home about nine o'clock to find Lise already in their room, to remark upon the absence of Mr. Wiley's picture from the frame.

If the Wiley situation lasted longer than the ones before it, it was because previous admirers didn't have cars. When Mr. Wiley lost his car, he lost his luck—if you can call it that. One April evening, after a walk with Eda, Janet got home around nine o'clock to find Lise already in their room, pointing out that Mr. Wiley's picture was missing from the frame.

“I'm through with him,” Lise declared briefly, tugging at her hair.

“I'm done with him,” Lise said quickly, tugging at her hair.

“Through with him?” Janet repeated.

“Done with him?” Janet repeated.

Lise paused in her labours and looked at her sister steadily. “I handed him the mit—do you get me?”

Lise paused in her work and looked at her sister intently. “I gave him the mit—do you understand?”

“But why?”

"But why though?"

“Why? I was sick of him—ain't that enough? And then he got mixed up with a Glendale trolley and smashed his radiator, and the Wizard people sacked him. I always told him he was too fly. It's lucky for him I wasn't in the car.”

“Why? I was tired of him— isn’t that enough? Then he got into an accident with a Glendale trolley and wrecked his radiator, and the Wizard people fired him. I always told him he was too slick. It's a good thing I wasn't in the car.”

“It's lucky for you,” said Janet. Presently she inquired curiously: “Aren't you sorry?”

“It's lucky for you,” Janet said. Then she asked with curiosity, “Aren't you sorry?”

“Nix.” Lise shook her head, which was now bowed, her face hidden by hair. “Didn't I tell you I was sick of him? But he sure was some spender,” she added, as though in justice bound to give him his due.

“Nix.” Lise shook her head, which was now bowed, her face hidden by hair. “Didn't I tell you I was done with him? But he really knew how to spend money,” she added, as if she felt obligated to give him some credit.

Janet was shocked by the ruthlessness of it, for Lise appeared relieved, almost gay. She handed Janet a box containing five peppermint creams—all that remained of Mr. Wiley's last gift.

Janet was taken aback by how ruthless it was, because Lise seemed relieved, almost happy. She gave Janet a box with five peppermint creams—just what was left of Mr. Wiley's last gift.

One morning in the late spring Janet crossed the Warren Street bridge, the upper of the two spider-like structures to be seen from her office window, spanning the river beside the great Hampton dam. The day, dedicated to the memory of heroes fallen in the Civil War, the thirtieth of May, was a legal holiday. Gradually Janet had acquired a dread of holidays as opportunities never realized, as intervals that should have been filled with unmitigated joys, and yet were invariably wasted, usually in walks with Eda Rawle. To-day, feeling an irresistible longing for freedom, for beauty, for adventure, for quest and discovery of she knew not what, she avoided Eda, and after gazing awhile at the sunlight dancing in the white mist below the falls, she walked on, southward, until she had left behind her the last straggling houses of the city and found herself on a wide, tarvia road that led, ultimately, to Boston. So read the sign.

One morning in late spring, Janet crossed the Warren Street bridge, the upper of the two spider-like structures visible from her office window, spanning the river next to the large Hampton dam. The day, honoring the heroes who fell in the Civil War, was May thirtieth, a public holiday. Over time, Janet had come to dread holidays as missed opportunities, as moments that should have been filled with pure joy but were always wasted, usually spent walking with Eda Rawle. Today, feeling an irresistible desire for freedom, beauty, adventure, and a quest for something she couldn’t quite name, she avoided Eda. After watching the sunlight dance in the white mist below the falls for a while, she continued south until she had left behind the last scattered houses of the city and found herself on a wide, tarvia road that ultimately led to Boston. So read the sign.

Great maples, heavy with leaves, stood out against the soft blue of the sky, and the sunlight poured over everything, bathing the stone walls, the thatches of the farmhouses, extracting from the copses of stunted pine a pungent, reviving perfume. Sometimes she stopped to rest on the pine needles, and walked on again, aimlessly, following the road because it was the easiest way. There were spring flowers in the farmhouse yards, masses of lilacs whose purple she drank in eagerly; the air, which had just a tang of New England sharpness, was filled with tender sounds, the clucking of hens, snatches of the songs of birds, the rustling of maple leaves in the fitful breeze. A chipmunk ran down an elm and stood staring at her with beady, inquisitive eyes, motionless save for his quivering tail, and she put forth her hand, shyly, beseechingly, as though he held the secret of life she craved. But he darted away.

Great maples, dense with leaves, contrasted beautifully against the soft blue sky, while sunlight poured over everything, illuminating the stone walls and the thatched roofs of the farmhouses, and drawing out a fresh, strong scent from the clusters of stunted pine trees. Sometimes she paused to rest on the pine needles, then continued walking, aimlessly, choosing the road because it was the easiest option. There were spring flowers in the farmhouse yards, clusters of lilacs that she eagerly took in; the air, with just a hint of New England crispness, was filled with gentle sounds—the clucking of hens, snippets of birdsong, and the rustling of maple leaves in the gentle breeze. A chipmunk scurried down an elm tree and stared at her with beady, curious eyes, completely still except for its twitching tail. She reached out her hand, shyly and hopefully, as if it held the secret to the life she longed for. But he quickly dashed away.

She looked around her unceasingly, at the sky, at the trees, at the flowers and ferns and fields, at the vireos and thrushes, the robins and tanagers gashing in and out amidst the foliage, and she was filled with a strange yearning to expand and expand until she should become a part of all nature, be absorbed into it, cease to be herself. Never before had she known just that feeling, that degree of ecstasy mingled with divine discontent.... Occasionally, intruding faintly upon the countryside peace, she was aware of a distant humming sound that grew louder and louder until there shot roaring past her an automobile filled with noisy folk, leaving behind it a suffocating cloud of dust. Even these intrusions, reminders of the city she had left, were powerless to destroy her mood, and she began to skip, like a schoolgirl, pausing once in a while to look around her fearfully, lest she was observed; and it pleased her to think that she had escaped forever, that she would never go back: she cried aloud, as she skipped, “I won't go back, I won't go back,” keeping time with her feet until she was out of breath and almost intoxicated, delirious, casting herself down, her heart beating wildly, on a bank of ferns, burying her face in them. She had really stopped because a pebble had got into her shoe, and as she took it out she looked at her bare heel and remarked ruefully:—“Those twenty-five cent stockings aren't worth buying!”

She kept looking around her, at the sky, the trees, the flowers, ferns, and fields, at the vireos and thrushes, the robins and tanagers darting in and out of the leaves, and she was filled with a strange desire to grow and grow until she became part of nature, absorbed into it, losing her sense of self. She had never experienced this feeling before, this mix of ecstasy and divine restlessness... Occasionally, breaking the peaceful countryside silence, she heard a distant buzzing sound that got louder and louder until an automobile sped past her, filled with loud people, leaving a suffocating cloud of dust in its wake. Even these interruptions, reminders of the city she had left behind, couldn’t ruin her mood, and she started to skip like a schoolgirl, stopping now and then to glance around nervously, as if she might be seen; it made her happy to think she had escaped for good, that she would never go back: she shouted joyfully, as she skipped, “I won’t go back, I won’t go back,” matching her words to her steps until she was out of breath and almost giddy, collapsing onto a bank of ferns, burying her face in them. She had actually stopped because a pebble was in her shoe, and as she pulled it out, she looked at her bare heel and said with a sigh, “Those twenty-five cent stockings aren’t worth buying!”

Economic problems, however, were powerless to worry her to-day, when the sun shone and the wind blew and the ferns, washed by the rill running through the culvert under the road, gave forth a delicious moist odour reminding her of the flower store where her sister Lise had once been employed. But at length she arose, and after an hour or more of sauntering the farming landscape was left behind, the crumbling stone fences were replaced by a well-kept retaining wall capped by a privet hedge, through which, between stone pillars, a driveway entered and mounted the shaded slope, turning and twisting until lost to view. But afar, standing on the distant crest, through the tree trunks and foliage Janet saw one end of the mansion to which it led, and ventured timidly but eagerly in among the trees in the hope of satisfying her new-born curiosity. Try as she would, she never could get any but disappointing and partial glimpses of a house which, because of the mystery of its setting, fired her imagination, started her to wondering why it was that some were permitted to live in the midst of such beauty while she was condemned to spend her days in Fillmore Street and the prison of the mill. She was not even allowed to look at it! The thought was like a cloud across the sun.

Economic problems, however, didn't worry her today, as the sun shone and the wind blew, and the ferns, soaked by the stream running through the culvert under the road, gave off a wonderful, fresh scent that reminded her of the flower shop where her sister Lise had once worked. But eventually, she stood up, and after an hour or so of wandering, she left behind the farming landscape. The crumbling stone fences were replaced by a neatly kept retaining wall topped with a privet hedge, through which, between stone pillars, a driveway entered and climbed up the shaded slope, twisting and turning until it disappeared from view. But far off, standing on the distant rise, through the tree trunks and foliage, Janet caught a glimpse of one end of the mansion it led to, and she ventured timidly yet eagerly among the trees, hoping to satisfy her newfound curiosity. No matter how hard she tried, she could only catch disappointing, partial views of a house that, due to the mystery of its surroundings, ignited her imagination and made her wonder why some people were allowed to live in such beauty while she had to spend her days on Fillmore Street and in the confines of the mill. She wasn't even allowed to look at it! The thought felt like a cloud blocking the sun.

However, when she had regained the tarvia road and walked a little way the shadow suddenly passed, and she stood surprised. The sight of a long common with its ancient trees in the fullness of glory, dense maples, sturdy oaks, strong, graceful elms that cast flickering, lacy shadows across the road filled her with satisfaction, with a sense of peace deepened by the awareness, in the background, ranged along the common on either side, of stately, dignified buildings, each in an appropriate frame of foliage. With the essence rather than the detail of all this her consciousness became steeped; she was naturally ignorant of the great good fortune of Silliston Academy of having been spared with one or two exceptions—donations during those artistically lean years of the nineteenth century when American architecture affected the Gothic, the Mansard, and the subsequent hybrid. She knew this must be Silliston, the seat of that famous academy of which she had heard.

However, when she got back on the tarvia road and walked a little further, the shadow suddenly disappeared, and she stood there, surprised. The view of a long common with its ancient trees in full bloom, thick maples, sturdy oaks, and strong, graceful elms casting flickering, lacy shadows across the road filled her with satisfaction and a sense of peace, deepened by the realization that, in the background, stately, dignified buildings lined the common on either side, each framed perfectly by the surrounding foliage. Her awareness soaked in the essence of it all rather than the details; she was blissfully unaware of the great fortune of Silliston Academy having been spared—save for one or two exceptions—donations during those artistically lean years of the nineteenth century when American architecture leaned towards Gothic, Mansard, and later hybrids. She knew this must be Silliston, the home of that famous academy she had heard about.

The older school buildings and instructors' houses, most of them white or creamy yellow, were native Colonial, with tall, graceful chimneys and classic pillars and delicate balustrades, eloquent at once of the racial inheritance of the Republic and of a bygone individuality, dignity, and pride. And the modern architect, of whose work there was an abundance, had graciously and intuitively held this earlier note and developed it. He was an American, but an American who had been trained. The result was harmony, life as it should proceed, the new growing out of the old. And no greater tribute can be paid to Janet Bumpus than that it pleased her, struck and set exquisitely vibrating within her responsive chords. For the first time in her adult life she stood in the presence of tradition, of a tradition inherently if unconsciously the innermost reality of her being a tradition that miraculously was not dead, since after all the years it had begun to put forth these vigorous shoots....

The older school buildings and teachers' houses, mostly white or creamy yellow, were classic Colonial style, featuring tall, elegant chimneys, classic pillars, and delicate railings. They reflected the racial heritage of the Republic and a lost individuality, dignity, and pride. The modern architect, whose work was plentiful, had intuitively embraced this earlier style and expanded upon it. He was an American, but one who had received formal training. The outcome was harmony, a life as it should unfold, with the new emerging from the old. And there can be no greater tribute to Janet Bumpus than that it brought her joy, resonating beautifully within her. For the first time in her adult life, she stood in the presence of tradition—one that was inherently, albeit unconsciously, the core of her being—a tradition that miraculously was not dead, as it had begun to sprout these vibrant new shoots after all these years.

What Janet chiefly realized was the delicious, contented sense of having come, visually at least, to the home for which she had longed. But her humour was that of a child who has strayed, to find its true dwelling place in a region of beauty hitherto unexplored and unexperienced, tinged, therefore, with unreality, with mystery,—an effect enhanced by the chance stillness and emptiness of the place. She wandered up and down the Common, whose vivid green was starred with golden dandelions; and then, spying the arched and shady vista of a lane, entered it, bent on new discoveries. It led past one of the newer buildings, the library—as she read in a carved inscription over the door—plunged into shade again presently to emerge at a square farmhouse, ancient and weathered, with a great square chimney thrust out of the very middle of the ridge-pole,—a landmark left by one of the earliest of Silliston's settlers. Presiding over it, embracing and protecting it, was a splendid tree. The place was evidently in process of reconstruction and repair, the roof had been newly shingled, new frames, with old-fashioned, tiny panes had been put in the windows; a little garden was being laid out under the sheltering branches of the tree, and between the lane and the garden, half finished, was a fence of an original and pleasing design, consisting of pillars placed at intervals with upright pickets between, the pickets sawed in curves, making a line that drooped in the middle. Janet did not perceive the workman engaged in building this fence until the sound of his hammer attracted her attention. His back was bent, he was absorbed in his task.

What Janet mainly felt was the delightful, satisfied sense of having arrived, at least visually, at the home she had longed for. But her mood was like that of a child who has wandered off, discovering its true home in an area of beauty that was previously unexplored and unexperienced, thus steeped in unreality and mystery—an effect heightened by the stillness and emptiness of the place. She strolled up and down the Common, its vibrant green dotted with golden dandelions; then, spotting the arched and shaded path of a lane, she entered it, eager for new discoveries. It passed by one of the newer buildings, the library—as she read in a carved inscription above the door—then plunged into shade again before emerging at a square farmhouse, old and weathered, with a large square chimney sticking out from the middle of the roof—a landmark left by one of Silliston's earliest settlers. Overseeing it, embracing and protecting it, was a magnificent tree. The place was clearly undergoing renovations, the roof newly shingled, new frames with old-fashioned, tiny panes installed in the windows; a small garden was being created under the tree's sheltering branches, and between the lane and the half-finished garden was a fence with an original and attractive design, featuring pillars spaced out with upright pickets in between, the pickets curved and drooping in the center. Janet didn’t notice the worker building this fence until the sound of his hammer caught her attention. He was bent over, focused on his work.

“Are there any stores near here?” she inquired.

“Are there any stores nearby?” she asked.

He straightened up. “Why yes,” he replied, “come to think of it, I have seen stores, I'm sure I have.”

He sat up straight. “Oh yeah,” he said, “now that I think about it, I have seen stores, I’m sure of it.”

Janet laughed; his expression, his manner of speech were so delightfully whimsical, so in keeping with the spirit of her day, and he seemed to accept her sudden appearance in the precise make-believe humour she could have wished. And yet she stood a little struck with timidity, puzzled by the contradictions he presented of youth and age, of shrewdness, experience and candour, of gentility and manual toil. He must have been about thirty-five; he was hatless, and his hair, uncombed but not unkempt, was greying at the temples; his eyes—which she noticed particularly—were keen yet kindly, the irises delicately stencilled in a remarkable blue; his speech was colloquial yet cultivated, his workman's clothes belied his bearing.

Janet laughed; his expression and way of speaking were so charmingly whimsical, perfectly matching the vibe of her day, and he seemed to take her sudden appearance with the playful humor she could have hoped for. Yet, she felt a bit shy, confused by the contradictions he embodied of youth and age, cleverness, experience, and openness, elegance and hard work. He must have been around thirty-five; he was hatless, and his hair, messy but not unkempt, was greying at the temples. His eyes—which she particularly noticed—were sharp yet kind, with irises beautifully tinted in an unusual blue; his way of speaking was casual yet refined, and his work clothes contrasted with his demeanor.

“Yes, there are stores, in the village,” he went on, “but isn't it a holiday, or Sunday—perhaps—or something of the kind?”

“Yes, there are stores in the village,” he continued, “but isn’t it a holiday, or maybe Sunday—or something like that?”

“It's Decoration Day,” she reminded him, with deepening surprise.

“It's Decoration Day,” she reminded him, her surprise growing.

“So it is! And all the storekeepers have gone on picnics in their automobiles, or else they're playing golf. Nobody's working today.”

“So it is! And all the shopkeepers have gone on picnics in their cars, or else they're playing golf. Nobody's working today.”

“But you—aren't you working?” she inquired.

“But you—aren't you working?” she asked.

“Working?” he repeated. “I suppose some people would call it work. I—I hadn't thought of it in that way.”

“Working?” he repeated. “I guess some people would call it work. I—I hadn't looked at it that way.”

“You mean—you like it,” Janet was inspired to say.

“You mean—you actually like it,” Janet was inspired to say.

“Well, yes,” he confessed. “I suppose I do.”

“Well, yes,” he admitted. “I guess I do.”

Her cheeks dimpled. If her wonder had increased, her embarrassment had flown, and he seemed suddenly an old acquaintance. She had, however, profound doubts now of his being a carpenter.

Her cheeks dimpled. If her amazement had grown, her embarrassment had disappeared, and he suddenly felt like an old friend. She did, however, have serious doubts about him being a carpenter now.

“Were you thinking of going shopping?” he asked, and at the very ludicrousness of the notion she laughed again. She discovered a keen relish for this kind of humour, but it was new to her experience, and she could not cope with it.

“Were you planning to go shopping?” he asked, and at the sheer ridiculousness of the idea, she laughed again. She found a real enjoyment in this kind of humor, but it was a new experience for her, and she couldn't handle it.

“Only to buy some crackers, or a sandwich,” she replied, and blushed.

“Just to get some crackers or a sandwich,” she said, blushing.

“Oh,” he said. “Down in the village, on the corner where the cars stop, is a restaurant. It's not as good as the Parker House in Boston, I believe, but they do have sandwiches, yes, and coffee. At least they call it coffee.”

“Oh,” he said. “In the village, at the corner where the cars stop, there's a restaurant. It’s not as good as the Parker House in Boston, I think, but they do have sandwiches, and coffee. Well, at least they call it coffee.”

“Oh, thank you,” she said.

“Thanks so much,” she said.

“You'd better wait till you try it,” he warned her.

“You should wait until you try it,” he warned her.

“Oh, I don't mind, I don't want much.” And she was impelled to add: “It's such a beautiful day.”

“Oh, I don’t mind, I don’t want much.” And she felt the need to add: “It’s such a beautiful day.”

“It's absurd to get hungry on such a day—absurd,” he agreed.

“It's ridiculous to feel hungry on a day like this—ridiculous,” he agreed.

“Yes, it is,” she laughed. “I'm not really hungry, but I haven't time to get back to Hampton for dinner.” Suddenly she grew hot at the thought that he might suspect her of hinting. “You see, I live in Hampton,” she went on hurriedly, “I'm a stenographer there, in the Chippering Mill, and I was just out for a walk, and—I came farther than I intended.” She had made it worse.

“Yes, it is,” she laughed. “I'm not really hungry, but I don't have time to get back to Hampton for dinner.” Suddenly, she felt a rush of heat at the thought that he might think she was hinting. “You see, I live in Hampton,” she continued quickly, “I’m a stenographer there at Chippering Mill, and I was just out for a walk, and—I went farther than I planned.” She had just made it worse.

But he said, “Oh, you came from Hampton!” with an intonation of surprise, of incredulity even, that soothed and even amused while it did not deceive her. Not that the superior intelligence of which she had begun to suspect him had been put to any real test by the discovery of her home, and she was quite sure her modest suit of blue serge and her $2.99 pongee blouse proclaimed her as a working girl of the mill city. “I've been to Hampton,” he declared, just as though it were four thousand miles away instead of four.

But he said, “Oh, you’re from Hampton!” with a tone of surprise, even disbelief, that was calming and even amusing, though it didn’t fool her. Not that the sharpness she had started to suspect in him had been genuinely challenged by learning where she was from, and she was sure her simple blue serge outfit and $2.99 pongee blouse showed she was just a working girl from the mill city. “I’ve been to Hampton,” he said confidently, as if it were four thousand miles away instead of just four.

“But I've never been here before, to Silliston,” she responded in the same spirit: and she added wistfully, “it must be nice to live in such a beautiful place as this!”

“But I've never been here before, to Silliston,” she replied with the same feeling, and she added with a hint of longing, “it must be great to live in such a beautiful place like this!”

“Yes, it is nice,” he agreed. “We have our troubles, too,—but it's nice.”

“Yes, it is nice,” he agreed. “We have our issues as well,—but it's nice.”

She ventured a second, appraising glance. His head, which he carried a little flung back, his voice, his easy and confident bearing—all these contradicted the saw and the hammer, the flannel shirt, open at the neck, the khaki trousers still bearing the price tag. And curiosity beginning to get the better of her, she was emboldened to pay a compliment to the fence. If one had to work, it must be a pleasure to work on things pleasing to the eye—such was her inference.

She took a second, assessing look. The way he held his head slightly back, his voice, and his relaxed, self-assured demeanor—all of this contrasted with the saw and hammer, the flannel shirt unbuttoned at the collar, and the khaki pants still with the price tag attached. As her curiosity grew, she felt brave enough to compliment the fence. If you had to work, it must be nice to work on things that are pleasing to the eye—that was her conclusion.

“Why, I'm glad you like it,” he said heartily. “I was just hoping some one would come along here and admire it. Now—what colour would you paint it?”

“I'm really glad you like it,” he said enthusiastically. “I was just hoping someone would come by and appreciate it. So—what color would you paint it?”

“Are you a painter, too?”

“Are you a painter as well?”

“After a fashion. I'm a sort of man of all work—I thought of painting it white, with the pillars green.”

“Kind of. I’m a bit of a jack-of-all-trades—I was thinking of painting it white, with green pillars.”

“I think that would be pretty,” she answered, judicially, after a moment's thought. “What else can you do?”

“I think that would be nice,” she replied thoughtfully after a moment. “What else can you do?”

He appeared to be pondering his accomplishments.

He seemed to be reflecting on his achievements.

“Well, I can doctor trees,” he said, pointing an efficient finger at the magnificent maple sheltering, like a guardian deity, the old farmhouse. “I put in those patches.”

"Well, I can take care of trees," he said, pointing decisively at the magnificent maple that stood like a protective deity over the old farmhouse. "I added those patches."

“They're cement,” she exclaimed. “I never heard of putting cement in trees.”

“They're made of cement,” she exclaimed. “I’ve never heard of putting cement in trees.”

“They don't seem to mind.”

"They don't seem to care."

“Are the holes very deep?”

"Are the holes really deep?"

“Pretty deep.”

“Really deep.”

“But I should think the tree would be dead.”

“But I would think the tree would be dead.”

“Well, you see the life of a tree is right under the bark. If you can keep the outer covering intact, the tree will live.”

“Well, the life of a tree is just beneath the bark. If you can keep the outer layer whole, the tree will survive.”

“Why did you let the holes get so deep?”

“Why did you let the holes get so deep?”

“I've just come here. The house was like the tree the shingles all rotten, but the beams were sound. Those beams were hewn out of the forest two hundred and fifty years ago.”

“I’ve just arrived here. The house was like the tree—its shingles were all rotting, but the beams were solid. Those beams were cut from the forest two hundred and fifty years ago.”

“Gracious!” said Janet. “And how old is the tree?”

“Wow!” said Janet. “And how old is the tree?”

“I should say about a hundred. I suppose it wouldn't care to admit it.”

"I’d say about a hundred. I guess it wouldn’t want to admit that."

“How do you know?” she inquired.

“How do you know?” she asked.

“Oh, I'm very intimate with trees. I find out their secrets.”

“Oh, I’m really close to trees. I discover their secrets.”

“It's your house!” she exclaimed, somewhat appalled by the discovery.

“It's your house!” she exclaimed, a bit shocked by the discovery.

“Yes—yes it is,” he answered, looking around at it and then in an indescribably comical manner down at his clothes. His gesture, his expression implied that her mistake was a most natural one.

“Yes—yes it is,” he replied, glancing around and then, in an incredibly funny way, down at his clothes. His gesture and expression suggested that her mistake was completely understandable.

“Excuse me, I thought—” she began, blushing hotly, yet wanting to laugh again.

“Excuse me, I thought—” she started, blushing deeply, but still wanting to laugh again.

“I don't blame you—why shouldn't you?” he interrupted her. “I haven't got used to it yet, and there is something amusing about—my owning a house. When the parlour's finished I'll have to wear a stiff collar, I suppose, in order to live up to it.”

“I don't blame you—why should you?” he interrupted her. “I still haven't gotten used to it, and there's something funny about—me owning a house. When the living room's done, I guess I'll have to wear a stiff collar to match the place.”

Her laughter broke forth, and she tried to imagine him in a stiff collar.... But she was more perplexed than ever. She stood balancing on one foot, poised for departure.

Her laughter erupted, and she tried to picture him in a stiff collar... But she was more confused than ever. She stood on one foot, ready to leave.

“I ought to be going,” she said, as though she had been paying him a formal visit.

“I should be going,” she said, as if she had been on a formal visit to him.

“Don't hurry,” he protested cordially. “Why hurry back to Hampton?”

“Don’t rush,” he said kindly. “Why rush back to Hampton?”

“I never want to go back!” she cried with a vehemence that caused him to contemplate her anew, suddenly revealing the intense, passionate quality which had so disturbed Mr. Ditmar. She stood transformed. “I hate it!” she declared. “It's so ugly, I never want to see it again.”

“I never want to go back!” she cried with an intensity that made him look at her again, suddenly revealing the deep passion that had so unsettled Mr. Ditmar. She looked completely changed. “I hate it!” she said. “It’s so ugly, I never want to see it again.”

“Yes, it is ugly,” he confessed. “Since you admit it, I don't mind saying so. But it's interesting, in a way.” Though his humorous moods had delighted her, she felt subtly flattered because he had grown more serious.

“Yes, it’s ugly,” he admitted. “Since you acknowledge it, I don’t mind saying so. But it’s interesting, in a way.” Although his funny side had amused her, she felt a bit flattered that he had become more serious.

“It is interesting,” she agreed. She was almost impelled to tell him why, in her excursions to the various quarters, she had found Hampton interesting, but a shyness born of respect for the store of knowledge she divined in him restrained her. She was curious to know what this man saw in Hampton. His opinion would be worth something. Unlike her neighbours in Fillmore Street, he was not what her sister Lise would call “nutty”; he had an air of fine sanity, of freedom, of detachment,—though the word did not occur to her; he betrayed no bitter sense of injustice, and his beliefs were uncoloured by the obsession of a single panacea. “Why do you think it's interesting?” she demanded.

“It’s interesting,” she agreed. She almost felt compelled to tell him why, during her trips to different neighborhoods, she had found Hampton fascinating, but a shyness stemming from respect for the knowledge she sensed in him held her back. She wanted to know what this man thought of Hampton. His opinion would hold some weight. Unlike her neighbors on Fillmore Street, he wasn’t what her sister Lise would call “crazy”; he had an air of solid sanity, freedom, and detachment — though that word didn’t come to her mind; he showed no bitter sense of injustice, and his beliefs weren't clouded by the obsession with a single solution. “Why do you think it’s interesting?” she asked.

“Well, I'm always expecting to hear that it's blown up. It reminds me of nitro-glycerine,” he added, smiling.

“Well, I’m always waiting to hear that it’s blown up. It reminds me of nitroglycerin,” he added, smiling.

She repeated the word.

She said the word again.

“An explosive, you know—they put it in dynamite. They say a man once made it by accident, and locked up his laboratory and ran home—and never went back.”

“An explosive, you know—they use it in dynamite. They say a guy once created it by accident, locked up his lab, ran home—and never returned.”

“I know what you mean!” she cried, her eyes alight with excitement. “All those foreigners! I've felt it that something would happen, some day, it frightened me, and yet I wished that something would happen. Only, I never would have thought of—nitro-glycerine.”

“I know what you mean!” she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “All those foreigners! I’ve had this feeling that something was going to happen one day; it scared me, but I also hoped something would occur. It’s just that I never would have imagined—nitroglycerin.”

She was unaware of the added interest in his regard. But he answered lightly enough:—“Oh, not only the foreigners. Human chemicals—you can't play with human chemicals any more than you can play with real ones—you've got to know something about chemistry.”

She didn't realize he was more interested in her than she thought. But he replied casually, “Oh, it's not just the foreigners. Human interactions— you can't mess with human interactions any more than you can mess with actual chemicals—you have to know something about the science behind it.”

This remark was beyond her depth.

This comment was too much for her to handle.

“Who is playing with them?” she asked.

“Who’s playing with them?” she asked.

“Everybody—no one in particular. Nobody seems to know much about them, yet,” he replied, and seemed disinclined to pursue the subject. A robin with a worm in its bill was hopping across the grass; he whistled softly, the bird stopped, cocking its head and regarding them. Suddenly, in conflict with her desire to remain indefinitely talking with this strange man, Janet felt an intense impulse to leave. She could bear the conversation no longer, she might burst into tears—such was the extraordinary effect he had produced on her.

“Everyone—no one specific. Nobody really knows much about them yet,” he replied, seeming reluctant to continue the conversation. A robin with a worm in its beak was hopping across the grass; he whistled softly, and the bird stopped, tilting its head to look at them. Suddenly, despite her desire to keep talking to this mysterious man, Janet felt a strong urge to leave. She couldn’t handle the conversation any longer; she might start crying—such was the incredible effect he had on her.

“I must go,—I'm ever so much obliged to you,” she said.

“I have to leave—I really appreciate it,” she said.

“Drop in again,” he said, as he took her trembling hand.... When she had walked a little way she looked back over her shoulder to see him leaning idly against the post, gazing after her, and waving his hammer in friendly fashion.

“Drop by again,” he said, taking her shaking hand.... After she had walked a short distance, she looked back over her shoulder to see him casually leaning against the post, watching her, and waving his hammer in a friendly way.

For a while her feet fairly flew, and her heart beat tumultuously, keeping time with her racing thoughts. She walked about the Common, seeing nothing, paying no attention to the passers-by, who glanced at her curiously. But at length as she grew calmer the needs of a youthful and vigorous body became imperative, and realizing suddenly that she was tired and hungry, sought and found the little restaurant in the village below. She journeyed back to Hampton pondering what this man had said to her; speculating, rather breathlessly, whether he had been impelled to conversation by a natural kindness and courtesy, or whether he really had discovered something in her worthy of addressing, as he implied. Resentment burned in her breast, she became suddenly blinded by tears: she might never see him again, and if only she were “educated” she might know him, become his friend. Even in this desire she was not conventional, and in the few moments of their contact he had developed rather than transformed what she meant by “education.” She thought of it not as knowledge reeking of books and schools, but as the acquirement of the freemasonry which he so evidently possessed, existence on terms of understanding, confidence, and freedom with nature; as having the world open up to one like a flower filled with colour and life. She thought of the robin, of the tree whose secrets he had learned, of a mental range including even that medley of human beings amongst whom she lived. And the fact that something of his meaning had eluded her grasp made her rebel all the more bitterly against the lack of a greater knowledge....

For a while, her feet moved quickly, and her heart raced, matching her swirling thoughts. She walked around the Common, not really seeing anything, ignoring the curious glances of passersby. But eventually, as she started to calm down, the needs of her young, energetic body became undeniable, and realizing suddenly that she was tired and hungry, she sought out and found the little restaurant in the village below. As she made her way back to Hampton, she pondered what this man had said to her; she breathlessly wondered whether his conversation had been motivated by genuine kindness and politeness or if he really had seen something in her that deserved his attention, as he suggested. Resentment burned within her, and suddenly she was overwhelmed with tears: she might never see him again, and if only she were “educated,” she might know him and become his friend. Even in this wish, she was not conventional, and in the brief moments they had shared, he had developed rather than changed what she meant by “education.” She thought of it not as knowledge filled with books and schools but as gaining a bond that he clearly possessed, living with understanding, trust, and freedom in nature; it was feeling like the world opened up like a flower bursting with color and life. She thought about the robin and the tree whose secrets he had learned, and she imagined a mental range that included even the chaotic mix of people among whom she lived. The fact that some of his meaning had slipped from her grasp made her rebel even more bitterly against her lack of greater knowledge...

Often during the weeks that followed he dwelt in her mind as she sat at her desk and stared out across the river, and several times that summer she started to walk to Silliston. But always she turned back. Perhaps she feared to break the charm of that memory....

Often during the weeks that followed, he occupied her thoughts as she sat at her desk and looked out across the river. Several times that summer, she started to walk to Silliston. But each time, she turned back. Maybe she was afraid to ruin the magic of that memory...





CHAPTER IV

Our American climate is notoriously capricious. Even as Janet trudged homeward on that Memorial Day afternoon from her Cinderella-like adventure in Silliston the sun grew hot, the air lost its tonic, becoming moist and tepid, white clouds with dark edges were piled up in the western sky. The automobiles of the holiday makers swarmed ceaselessly over the tarvia. Valiantly as she strove to cling to her dream, remorseless reality was at work dragging her back, reclaiming her; excitement and physical exercise drained her vitality, her feet were sore, sadness invaded her as she came in view of the ragged outline of the city she had left so joyfully in the morning. Summer, that most depressing of seasons in an environment of drab houses and grey pavements, was at hand, listless householders and their families were already, seeking refuge on front steps she passed on her way to Fillmore Street.

Our American weather is famously unpredictable. As Janet walked home on that Memorial Day afternoon after her fairy-tale adventure in Silliston, the sun became intense, the air lost its refreshing quality, turning humid and warm, and white clouds with dark edges piled up in the western sky. The cars of holiday travelers buzzed endlessly over the pavement. As much as she tried to hold onto her dream, harsh reality was pulling her back, reclaiming her; excitement and physical activity sapped her energy, her feet ached, and sadness washed over her as she caught sight of the worn silhouette of the city she had left so joyfully in the morning. Summer, the most disheartening season in a setting of dull houses and gray sidewalks, was approaching, and aimless homeowners and their families were already seeking refuge on the front steps she passed on her way to Fillmore Street.

It was about half past five when she arrived. Lise, her waist removed, was seated in a rocking chair at the window overlooking the littered yards and the backs of the tenements on Rutger Street. And Lise, despite the heaviness of the air, was dreaming. Of such delicate texture was the fabric of Janet's dreams that not only sordid reality, but contact with other dreams of a different nature, such as her sister's, often sufficed to dissolve them. She resented, for instance, the presence in the plush oval of Mr. Eustace Arlington; the movie star whose likeness had replaced Mr. Wiley's, and who had played the part of the western hero in “Leila of Hawtrey's.” With his burning eyes and sensual face betraying the puffiness that comes from over-indulgence, he was not Janet's ideal of a hero, western or otherwise. And now Lise was holding a newspaper: not the Banner, whose provinciality she scorned, but a popular Boston sheet to be had for a cent, printed at ten in the morning and labelled “Three O'clock Edition,” with huge red headlines stretched across the top of the page:—

It was around 5:30 when she got there. Lise, her waist gone, was sitting in a rocking chair by the window, looking out over the messy yards and the backs of the apartment buildings on Rutger Street. And Lise, despite the heavy air, was daydreaming. Janet's dreams were so fragile that not only harsh reality but even interactions with other, different dreams, like her sister’s, could easily make them vanish. She found it annoying, for example, that Mr. Eustace Arlington took up space in the soft oval of her thoughts; the movie star who had taken Mr. Wiley's place, having played the role of the western hero in “Leila of Hawtrey's.” With his intense eyes and attractive face showing the signs of too much indulgence, he was not Janet's idea of a hero, western or otherwise. And now Lise was holding a newspaper: not the Banner, which she looked down on for being provincial, but a popular Boston paper you could get for a cent, printed at ten in the morning and called the “Three O'clock Edition,” with big red headlines stretched across the top of the page:—

        “JURY FINDS IN MISS NEALY'S FAVOR.”
 
        “JURY RULES IN MISS NEALY'S FAVOR.”

As Janet entered Lise looked up and exclaimed:—“Say, that Nealy girl's won out!”

As Janet walked in, Lise looked up and said, “Hey, that Nealy girl has won!”

“Who is she?” Janet inquired listlessly.

“Who is she?” Janet asked wearily.

“You are from the country, all right,” was her sister's rejoinder. “I would have bet there wasn't a Reub in the state that wasn't wise to the Ferris breach of promise case, and here you blow in after the show's over and want to know who Nelly Nealy is. If that doesn't beat the band!”

“You're definitely from the country,” her sister replied. “I would have bet that everyone in the state knew about the Ferris breach of promise case, and here you come in after the drama's all done wanting to know who Nelly Nealy is. Unbelievable!”

“This woman sued a man named Ferris—is that it?”

“This woman sued a guy named Ferris—is that right?”

“A man named Ferris!” Lise repeated, with the air of being appalled by her sister's ignorance. “I guess you never heard of Ferris, either—the biggest copper man in Boston. He could buy Hampton, and never feel it, and they say his house in Brighton cost half a million dollars. Nelly Nealy put her damages at one hundred and fifty thousand and stung him for seventy five. I wish I'd been in court when that jury came back! There's her picture.”

“A man named Ferris!” Lise repeated, sounding shocked by her sister's lack of knowledge. “I guess you’ve never heard of Ferris, either—the biggest copper magnate in Boston. He could buy Hampton without even noticing it, and they say his house in Brighton cost half a million dollars. Nelly Nealy claimed her damages were one hundred and fifty thousand and got him to pay seventy-five. I wish I’d been in court when that jury returned! There’s her picture.”

To Janet, especially in the mood of reaction in which she found herself that evening, Lise's intense excitement, passionate partisanship and approval of Miss Nealy were incomprehensible, repellent. However, she took the sheet, gazing at the image of the lady who, recently an obscure stenographer, had suddenly leaped into fame and become a “headliner,” the envied of thousands of working girls all over New England. Miss Nealy, in spite of the “glare of publicity” she deplored, had borne up admirably under the strain, and evidently had been able to consume three meals a day and give some thought to her costumes. Her smile under the picture hat was coquettish, if not bold. The special article, signed by a lady reporter whose sympathies were by no means concealed and whose talents were given free rein, related how the white-haired mother had wept tears of joy; how Miss Nealy herself had been awhile too overcome to speak, and then had recovered sufficiently to express her gratitude to the twelve gentlemen who had vindicated the honour of American womanhood. Mr. Ferris, she reiterated, was a brute; never as long as she lived would she be able to forget how she had loved and believed in him, and how, when at length she unwillingly became convinces of his perfidy, she had been “prostrated,” unable to support her old mother. She had not, naturally, yet decided how she would invest her fortune; as for going on the stage, that had been suggested, but she had made no plans. “Scores of women sympathizers” had escorted her to a waiting automobile....

To Janet, especially in the reactive mood she was in that evening, Lise's intense excitement, passionate support, and admiration for Miss Nealy were puzzling and off-putting. However, she took the sheet and looked at the picture of the woman who had recently been an unknown stenographer but had suddenly risen to fame and become a "headliner," envied by thousands of working girls across New England. Despite the "glare of publicity" she disliked, Miss Nealy had handled the pressure admirably and was evidently managing to eat three meals a day and think about her outfits. Her smile under the fancy hat was flirty, if not bold. The special article, written by a female reporter whose biases were clear and whose talent was on full display, described how Miss Nealy's white-haired mother had cried tears of joy; how Miss Nealy had been too overwhelmed to speak at first, but then had regained her composure enough to express her gratitude to the twelve men who had defended the honor of American womanhood. She insisted that Mr. Ferris was a brute; she would never forget how much she had loved and believed in him, and how, when she finally realized his betrayal, she had been "prostrated," unable to support her aging mother. She had not yet decided how she would spend her newfound fortune; going on stage had been suggested, but she hadn’t made any plans. "Scores of women supporters" had escorted her to a waiting car...

Janet, impelled by the fascination akin to disgust, read thus far, and flinging the newspaper on the floor, began to tidy herself for supper. But presently, when she heard Lise sigh, she could contain herself no longer.

Janet, driven by a mix of fascination and disgust, read this far, and after tossing the newspaper on the floor, started getting ready for dinner. But soon, when she heard Lise sigh, she couldn't hold herself back any longer.

“I don't see how you can read such stuff as that,” she exclaimed. “It's—it's horrible.”

“I don't see how you can read stuff like that,” she exclaimed. “It's—it's awful.”

“Horrible?” Lise repeated.

"Horrible?" Lise echoed.

Janet swung round from the washbasin, her hands dripping.

Janet turned away from the sink, her hands dripping.

“Instead of getting seventy five thousand dollars she ought to be tarred and feathered. She's nothing but a blackmailer.”

“Instead of getting seventy-five thousand dollars, she should be tarred and feathered. She's nothing but a blackmailer.”

Lise, aroused from her visions, demanded vehemently “Ain't he a millionaire?”

Lise, awakened from her daydreams, insisted passionately, “Isn’t he a millionaire?”

“What difference does that make?” Janet retorted. “And you can't tell me she didn't know what she was up to all along—with that face.”

“What difference does that make?” Janet shot back. “And you can't tell me she didn’t know what she was doing the whole time—with that face.”

“I'd have sued him, all right,” declared Lise, defiantly.

“I would have definitely sued him,” Lise declared, defiantly.

“Then you'd be a blackmailer, too. I'd sooner scrub floors, I'd sooner starve than do such a thing—take money for my affections. In the first place, I'd have more pride, and in the second place, if I really loved a man, seventy five thousand or seventy five million dollars wouldn't help me any. Where do you get such ideas? Decent people don't have them.”

“Then you’d be a blackmailer, too. I’d rather clean floors or go hungry than do something like that—take money for my feelings. First of all, I have more pride than that, and secondly, if I truly loved a guy, seventy-five thousand or seventy-five million dollars wouldn’t mean anything to me. Where do you get these ideas? Good people don’t think like that.”

Janet turned to the basin again and began rubbing her face vigorously—ceasing for an instance to make sure of the identity of a sound reaching her ears despite the splashing of water. Lise was sobbing. Janet dried her face and hands, arranged her hair, and sat down on the windowsill; the scorn and anger, which had been so intense as completely to possess her, melting into a pity and contempt not unmixed with bewilderment. Ordinarily Lise was hard, impervious to such reproaches, holding her own in the passionate quarrels that occasionally took place between them yet there were times, such as this, when her resistance broke down unexpectedly, and she lost all self control. She rocked to and fro in the chair, her shoulders bowed, her face hidden in her hands. Janet reached out and touched her.

Janet turned back to the sink and started rubbing her face hard—stopping for a moment to focus on a sound she heard despite the splashing water. Lise was crying. Janet dried her face and hands, fixed her hair, and sat on the windowsill; the scorn and anger that had consumed her slowly turned into pity and a mix of contempt and confusion. Lise was usually tough, able to stand her ground during their passionate arguments, but sometimes, like now, her defenses crumbled, and she lost control completely. She rocked back and forth in the chair, her shoulders hunched, her face hidden in her hands. Janet reached out and touched her.

“Don't be silly,” she began, rather sharply, “just because I said it was a disgrace to have such ideas. Well, it is.”

“Don't be ridiculous,” she started, a bit sharply, “just because I said it was a disgrace to have those kinds of thoughts. It totally is.”

“I'm not silly,” said Lise. “I'm sick of that job at the Bagatelle”—sob—“there's nothing in it—I'm going to quit—I wish to God I was dead! Standing on your feet all day till you're wore out for six dollars a week—what's there in it?”—sob—“With that guy Walters who walks the floor never lettin' up on you. He come up to me yesterday and says, 'I didn't know you was near sighted, Miss Bumpus' just because there was a customer Annie Hatch was too lazy to wait on”—sob—“That's his line of dope—thinks he's sarcastic—and he's sweet on Annie. Tomorrow I'm going to tell him to go to hell. I'm through I'm sick of it, I tell you”—sob—“I'd rather be dead than slave like that for six dollars.”

“I'm not crazy,” Lise said. “I'm tired of that job at the Bagatelle”—sob—“there’s nothing in it—I’m going to quit—I wish to God I was dead! Standing on your feet all day until you’re worn out for six dollars a week—what's the point?”—sob—“With that guy Walters pacing around, never letting up on you. He came up to me yesterday and said, 'I didn’t know you were nearsighted, Miss Bumpus,' just because there was a customer Annie Hatch was too lazy to help”—sob—“That’s his routine—thinks he’s being clever—and he’s into Annie. Tomorrow I’m going to tell him to go to hell. I’m done, I’m sick of it, I’m telling you”—sob—“I’d rather be dead than work like that for six dollars.”

“Where are you going?” asked Janet.

“Where are you headed?” asked Janet.

“I don't know—I don't care. What's the difference? any place'd be better than this.” For awhile she continued to cry on a ridiculously high, though subdued, whining note, her breath catching at intervals. A feeling of helplessness, of utter desolation crept over Janet; powerless to comfort herself, how could she comfort her sister? She glanced around the familiar, sordid room, at the magazine pages against the faded wall-paper, at the littered bureau and the littered bed, over which Lise's clothes were flung. It was hot and close even now, in summer it would be stifling. Suddenly a flash of sympathy revealed to her a glimpse of the truth that Lise, too, after her own nature, sought beauty and freedom! Never did she come as near comprehending Lise as in such moments as this, and when, on dark winter mornings, her sister clung to her, terrified by the siren. Lise was a child, and the thought that she, Janet, was powerless to change her was a part of the tragic tenderness. What would become of Lise? And what would become of her, Janet?... So she clung, desperately, to her sister's hand until at last Lise roused herself, her hair awry, her face puckered and wet with tears and perspiration.

“I don’t know—I don’t care. What’s the difference? Any place would be better than this.” For a while, she continued to cry in a ridiculously high, but quiet, whine, her breath catching every so often. A feeling of helplessness, of complete despair, washed over Janet; if she couldn’t comfort herself, how could she comfort her sister? She looked around the familiar, messy room, at the magazine pages stuck to the faded wallpaper, at the cluttered dresser and the messy bed, where Lise’s clothes were thrown. It was hot and stuffy even now; in the summer, it would be suffocating. Suddenly, a wave of sympathy gave her a realization that Lise, too, in her own way, was searching for beauty and freedom! She never felt closer to understanding Lise than in moments like this, and on dark winter mornings when her sister clung to her, scared of the siren. Lise was like a child, and the thought that she, Janet, couldn’t change her was part of the heartbreaking tenderness. What would happen to Lise? And what would happen to her, Janet?... So she held onto her sister’s hand tightly until Lise finally pulled herself together, her hair messy, her face wrinkled and wet with tears and sweat.

“I can't stand it any more—I've just got to go away anywhere,” she said, and the cry found an echo in Janet's heart....

“I can't take it anymore—I just have to get away, anywhere,” she said, and her words resonated in Janet's heart....

But the next morning Lise went back to the Bagatelle, and Janet to the mill....

But the next morning Lise returned to the Bagatelle, and Janet went back to the mill....

The fact that Lise's love affairs had not been prospering undoubtedly had something to do with the fit of depression into which she had fallen that evening. A month or so before she had acquired another beau. It was understood by Lise's friends and Lise's family, though not by the gentleman himself, that his position was only temporary or at most probationary; he had not even succeeded to the rights, title, and privileges of the late Mr. Wiley, though occupying a higher position in the social scale—being the agent of a patent lawn sprinkler with an office in Faber Street.

The fact that Lise's romantic relationships hadn't been going well definitely contributed to the depression she fell into that evening. About a month earlier, she had taken on another boyfriend. It was clear to Lise's friends and family, though not to the guy himself, that his role was only temporary or, at best, on probation; he hadn't even inherited the rights, title, and privileges of the late Mr. Wiley, even though he held a higher social status—he was the agent for a patent lawn sprinkler with an office on Faber Street.

“Stick to him and you'll wear diamonds—that's what he tries to put across,” was Lise's comment on Mr. Frear's method, and thus Janet gained the impression that her sister's feelings were not deeply involved. “If I thought he'd make good with the sprinkler I might talk business. But say, he's one of those ginks that's always tryin' to beat the bank. He's never done a day's work in his life. Last year he was passing around Foley's magazine, and before that he was with the race track that went out of business because the ministers got nutty over it. Well, he may win out,” she added reflectively, “those guys sometimes do put the game on the blink. He sure is a good spender when the orders come in, with a line of talk to make you holler for mercy.”

“Stick with him and you’ll end up wearing diamonds—that’s his angle,” Lise said about Mr. Frear’s approach, and Janet got the feeling that her sister wasn’t too invested. “If I thought he’d actually follow through, I might consider doing business. But really, he’s one of those guys who’s always trying to game the system. He’s never had a real job in his life. Last year, he was peddling Foley’s magazine, and before that, he worked at a racetrack that shut down because the ministers got all worked up over it. Well, he might just come out on top,” she added pensively, “those kinds of guys sometimes manage to turn the tables. He’s definitely a big spender when the deals come through, with a smooth talk that’ll make you cry for help.”

Mr. Frear's “line of talk” came wholly, astonishingly, from one side of his mouth—the left side. As a muscular feat it was a triumph. A deaf person on his right side would not have known he was speaking. The effect was secretive, extraordinarily confidential; enabling him to sell sprinklers, it ought to have helped him to make love, so distinctly personal was it, implying as it did that the individual addressed was alone of all the world worthy of consideration. Among his friends it was regarded as an accomplishment, but Lise was critical, especially since he did not look into one's eyes, but gazed off into space, as though he weren't talking at all.

Mr. Frear’s “line of talk” came completely, surprisingly, from the left side of his mouth. As a physical act, it was impressive. A deaf person on his right side wouldn’t have even known he was speaking. The effect was secretive, almost too personal; it helped him sell sprinklers and should have made flirting easier, given how distinctly intimate it felt, suggesting that the person he was talking to was the only one in the world that mattered. Among his friends, it was seen as a skill, but Lise was critical, especially since he didn’t look anyone in the eyes but stared off into space, as if he weren’t talking at all.

She had once inquired if the right side of his face was paralyzed.

She once asked if the right side of his face was paralyzed.

She permitted him to take her, however, to Gruber's Cafe, to the movies, and one or two select dance halls, and to Slattery's Riverside Park, where one evening she had encountered the rejected Mr. Wiley.

She allowed him to take her to Gruber's Cafe, the movies, a couple of exclusive dance halls, and to Slattery's Riverside Park, where one evening she ran into the rejected Mr. Wiley.

“Say, he was sore!” she told Janet the next morning, relating the incident with relish, “for two cents he would have knocked Charlie over the ropes. I guess he could do it, too, all right.”

“Honestly, he was furious!” she told Janet the next morning, sharing the story enthusiastically, “if he had two cents, he would have pushed Charlie right over the ropes. I’m pretty sure he could have done it, no doubt.”

Janet found it curious that Lise should display such vindictiveness toward Mr. Wiley, who was more sinned against than sinning. She was moved to inquire after his welfare.

Janet found it strange that Lise showed such bitterness toward Mr. Wiley, who was more wronged than wrongdoer. She felt compelled to ask about his well-being.

“He's got one of them red motorcycles,” said Lise. “He was gay with it too—when we was waiting for the boulevard trolley he opened her up and went right between Charlie and me. I had to laugh. He's got a job over in Haverhill you can't hold that guy under water long.”

“He's got one of those red motorcycles,” Lise said. “He was showing it off too—when we were waiting for the boulevard trolley, he revved it up and zipped right between Charlie and me. I couldn't help but laugh. He has a job over in Haverhill; you can't keep that guy down for long.”

Apparently Lise had no regrets. But her premonitions concerning Mr. Frear proved to be justified. He did not “make good.” One morning the little office on Faber Street where the sprinklers were displayed was closed, Hampton knew him no more, and the police alone were sincerely regretful. It seemed that of late he had been keeping all the money for the sprinklers, and spending a good deal of it on Lise. At the time she accepted the affair with stoical pessimism, as one who has learned what to expect of the world, though her moral sense was not profoundly disturbed by the reflection that she had indulged in the delights of Slattery's and Gruber's and a Sunday at “the Beach” at the expense of the Cascade Sprinkler Company of Boston. Mr. Frear inconsiderately neglected to prepare her for his departure, the news of which was conveyed to her in a singular manner, and by none other than Mr. Johnny Tiernan of the tin shop,—their conversation throwing some light, not only on Lise's sophistication, but on the admirable and intricate operation of Hampton's city government. About five o'clock Lise was coming home along Fillmore Street after an uneventful, tedious and manless holiday spent in the company of Miss Schuler and other friends when she perceived Mr. Tiernan seated on his steps, grinning and waving a tattered palm-leaf fan.

Apparently, Lise had no regrets. But her suspicions about Mr. Frear turned out to be right. He didn't "make good." One morning, the small office on Faber Street where the sprinklers were displayed was closed, Hampton didn’t know him anymore, and only the police were genuinely upset. It seemed that lately he had been keeping all the money from the sprinklers and spending a good amount of it on Lise. At the time, she accepted the situation with a resigned attitude, like someone who knows what to expect from the world, though her conscience wasn't greatly troubled by the fact that she had enjoyed the luxuries of Slattery's and Gruber's and a Sunday at “the Beach” at the expense of the Cascade Sprinkler Company of Boston. Mr. Frear carelessly failed to prepare her for his departure, the news of which reached her in an unusual way, delivered by none other than Mr. Johnny Tiernan from the tin shop— their conversation shedding light not only on Lise's worldliness but also on the impressive yet complex functioning of Hampton's city government. Around five o'clock, Lise was walking home along Fillmore Street after a dull, uneventful holiday spent with Miss Schuler and other friends when she noticed Mr. Tiernan sitting on his steps, grinning and waving a worn-out palm-leaf fan.

“The mercury is sure on the jump,” he observed. “You'd think it was July.”

“The temperature is definitely rising,” he noted. “You'd think it was July.”

And Lise agreed.

And Lise said yes.

“I suppose you'll be going to Tim Slattery's place tonight,” he went on. “It's the coolest spot this side of the Atlantic Ocean.”

“I guess you're heading to Tim Slattery's place tonight,” he continued. “It's the best spot this side of the Atlantic.”

There was, apparently, nothing cryptic in this remark, yet it is worth noting that Lise instantly became suspicious.

There was, apparently, nothing mysterious about this comment, but it’s worth mentioning that Lise immediately became suspicious.

“Why would I be going out there?” she inquired innocently, darting at him a dark, coquettish glance.

“Why would I be going out there?” she asked playfully, shooting him a sultry look.

Mr. Tiernan regarded her guilelessly, but there was admiration in his soul; not because of her unquestioned feminine attractions,—he being somewhat amazingly proof against such things,—but because it was conveyed to him in some unaccountable way that her suspicions were aroused. The brain beneath that corkscrew hair was worthy of a Richelieu. Mr. Tiernan's estimate of Miss Lise Bumpus, if he could have been induced to reveal it, would have been worth listening to.

Mr. Tiernan looked at her innocently, but he admired her; not because of her undeniable feminine charms—he was surprisingly resistant to such things—but because he somehow sensed that her suspicions were piqued. The mind under that curly hair was reminiscent of a Richelieu. Mr. Tiernan's opinion of Miss Lise Bumpus, if he had been persuaded to share it, would have been interesting to hear.

“And why wouldn't you?” he replied heartily. “Don't I see all the pretty young ladies out there, including yourself, and you dancing with the Cascade man. Why is it you'll never give me a dance?”

“And why wouldn’t you?” he said cheerfully. “Can’t I see all the pretty young ladies out there, including you, dancing with the Cascade guy? Why won’t you ever dance with me?”

“Why is it you never ask me?” demanded Lise.

“Why don’t you ever ask me?” Lise asked.

“What chance have I got, against him?”

“What chance do I have against him?”

“He don't own me,” said Lise.

“He doesn’t own me,” said Lise.

Mr. Tiernan threw back his head, and laughed.

Mr. Tiernan threw his head back and laughed.

“Well, if you're there to-night, tangoin' with him and I come up and says, 'Miss Bumpus, the pleasure is mine,' I'm wondering what would happen.”

“Well, if you’re there tonight, dancing with him, and I come over and say, 'Miss Bumpus, it’s a pleasure to meet you,' I’m curious about what would happen.”

“I'm not going to Slattery's to-night,” she declared having that instant arrived at this conclusion.

“I'm not going to Slattery's tonight,” she declared, having just come to that conclusion.

“And where then? I'll come along, if there's a chance for me.”

“And where to next? I’ll join you if there’s a chance for me.”

“Quit your kidding,” Lise reproved him.

“Stop joking around,” Lise told him.

Mr. Tiernan suddenly looked very solemn:

Mr. Tiernan suddenly looked very serious:

“Kidding, is it? Me kiddin' you? Give me a chance, that's all I'm asking. Where will you be, now?”

“Kidding, really? Me joking with you? Just give me a chance, that's all I'm asking. Where will you be now?”

“Is Frear wanted?” she demanded.

“Is Frear wanted?” she asked.

Mr. Tiernan's expression changed. His nose seemed to become more pointed, his eyes to twinkle more merrily than ever. He didn't take the trouble, now, to conceal his admiration.

Mr. Tiernan's expression shifted. His nose appeared to become sharper, and his eyes sparkled more cheerfully than ever. He no longer bothered to hide his admiration.

“Sure, Miss Bumpus,” he said, “if you was a man, we'd have you on the force to-morrow.”

“Sure, Miss Bumpus,” he said, “if you were a man, we’d have you on the force tomorrow.”

“What's he wanted for?”

"What does he want for?"

“Well,” said Johnny, “a little matter of sprinklin'. He's been sprinklin' his company's water without a license.”

“Well,” said Johnny, “it's just a small issue of sprinkling. He's been using his company's water for sprinkling without a license.”

She was silent a moment before she exclaimed:—“I ought to have been wise that he was a crook!”

She was quiet for a moment before she exclaimed, “I should have known he was a fraud!”

“Well,” said Johnny consolingly, “there's others that ought to have been wise, too. The Cascade people had no business takin' on a man that couldn't use but half of his mouth.”

“Well,” said Johnny reassuringly, “there are others who should have known better too. The Cascade folks shouldn't have hired a guy who could only use half of his mouth.”

This seemed to Lise a reflection on her judgment. She proceeded to clear herself.

This felt to Lise like a judgment on her decision-making. She went on to defend herself.

“He was nothing to me. He never gave me no rest. He used to come 'round and pester me to go out with him—”

“He meant nothing to me. He never gave me any peace. He would come around and bug me to go out with him—”

“Sure!” interrupted Mr. Tiernan. “Don't I know how it is with the likes of him! A good time's a good time, and no harm in it. But the point is” and here he cocked his nose—“the point is, where is he? Where will he be tonight?”

“Sure!” interrupted Mr. Tiernan. “I know how it is with guys like him! A good time is a good time, and there's nothing wrong with that. But the point is” and here he tilted his nose—“the point is, where is he? Where will he be tonight?”

All at once Lise grew vehement, almost tearful.

All of a sudden, Lise became intense and nearly brought to tears.

“I don't know—honest to God, I don't. If I did I'd tell you. Last night he said he might be out of town. He didn't say where he was going.” She fumbled in her bag, drawing out an imitation lace handkerchief and pressing it to her eyes.

“I have no idea—really, I don’t. If I did, I’d let you know. Last night he mentioned he might be out of town. He didn’t say where he was headed.” She rummaged through her bag, pulling out a fake lace handkerchief and pressing it to her eyes.

“There now!” exclaimed Mr. Tiernan, soothingly. “How would you know? And he deceivin' you like he did the company—”

“There now!” Mr. Tiernan said gently. “How would you know? And he’s fooling you just like he did the company—”

“He didn't deceive me,” cried Lise.

“He didn't trick me,” cried Lise.

“Listen,” said Mr. Tiernan, who had risen and laid his hand on her arm. “It's not young ladies like you that works and are self-respecting that any one would be troublin', and you the daughter of such a fine man as your father. Run along, now, I won't be detaining you, Miss Bumpus, and you'll accept my apology. I guess we'll never see him in Hampton again....”

“Listen,” said Mr. Tiernan, who had stood up and placed his hand on her arm. “It's not young ladies like you who work and have self-respect that anyone would be bothering, especially since you're the daughter of such a fine man as your father. Go on now, I won’t keep you, Miss Bumpus, and you’ll accept my apology. I guess we’ll never see him in Hampton again....”

Some twenty minutes later he sauntered down the street, saluting acquaintances, and threading his way across the Common entered a grimy brick building where a huge policeman with an insignia on his arm was seated behind a desk. Mr. Tiernan leaned on the desk, and reflectively lighted a Thomas-Jefferson-Five-Cent Cigar, Union Label, the excellencies of which were set forth on large signs above the “ten foot” buildings on Faber Street.

Some twenty minutes later, he casually walked down the street, greeting acquaintances and making his way across the Common. He entered a dirty brick building where a large policeman with a badge on his arm sat behind a desk. Mr. Tiernan leaned on the desk and thoughtfully lit a Thomas Jefferson Five-Cent Cigar, Union Label, the quality of which was advertised on big signs above the “ten-foot” buildings on Faber Street.

“She don't know nothing, Mike,” he remarked. “I guess he got wise this morning.”

“She doesn't know anything, Mike,” he said. “I think he figured it out this morning.”

The sergeant nodded....

The sergeant nodded.





CHAPTER V

To feel potential within one's self the capacity to live and yet to have no means of realizing this capacity is doubtless one of the least comfortable and agreeable of human experiences. Such, as summer came on, was Janet's case. The memory of that visit to Silliston lingered in her mind, sometimes to flare up so vividly as to make her existence seem unbearable. How wonderful, she thought, to be able to dwell in such a beautiful place, to have as friends and companions such amusing and intelligent people as the stranger with whom she had talked! Were all the inhabitants of Silliston like him? They must be, since it was a seat of learning. Lise's cry, “I've just got to go away, anywhere,” found an echo in Janet's soul. Why shouldn't she go away? She was capable of taking care of herself, she was a good stenographer, her salary had been raised twice in two years,—why should she allow consideration for her family to stand in the way of what she felt would be self realization? Unconsciously she was a true modern in that the virtues known as duty and self sacrifice did not appeal to her,—she got from them neither benefit nor satisfaction, she understood instinctively that they were impeding to growth. Unlike Lise, she was able to see life as it is, she did not expect of it miracles, economic or matrimonial. Nothing would happen unless she made it happen. She was twenty-one, earning nine dollars a week, of which she now contributed five to the household,—her father, with characteristic incompetence, having taken out a larger insurance policy than he could reasonably carry. Of the remaining four dollars she spent more than one on lunches, there were dresses and underclothing, shoes and stockings to buy, in spite of darning and mending; little treats with Eda that mounted up; and occasionally the dentist—for Janet would not neglect her teeth as Lise neglected hers. She managed to save something, but it was very little. And she was desperately unhappy when she contemplated the grey and monotonous vista of the years ahead, saw herself growing older and older, driven always by the stern necessity of accumulating a margin against possible disasters; little by little drying up, losing, by withering disuse, those rich faculties of enjoyment with which she was endowed, and which at once fascinated and frightened her. Marriage, in such an environment, offered no solution; marriage meant dependence, from which her very nature revolted: and in her existence, drab and necessitous though it were, was still a remnant of freedom that marriage would compel her to surrender....

To feel potential within oneself—the ability to live fully yet having no way to realize that potential—is one of the least comfortable and enjoyable human experiences. This was exactly how Janet felt as summer approached. The memory of her visit to Silliston lingered in her mind, sometimes flaring up so intensely that it made her life seem unbearable. How wonderful it would be, she thought, to live in such a beautiful place and have friends who were as interesting and intelligent as the stranger she had spoken with! Were all the people in Silliston like him? They must be, since it was a center of learning. Lise's cry, “I've just got to go away, anywhere,” resonated with Janet's feelings. Why shouldn't she go? She could take care of herself; she was a good stenographer, and her salary had been raised twice in two years. Why should she let her responsibility to her family hold her back from what she felt would be self-fulfillment? Unconsciously, she was a true modern in that the values of duty and self-sacrifice didn't appeal to her—she derived no benefit or satisfaction from them and instinctively understood that they hindered her growth. Unlike Lise, she could see life as it really was; she didn't expect miracles, whether financial or romantic. Nothing would change unless she made it happen. At twenty-one, she was earning nine dollars a week and contributed five to the household, as her father, in his typical incompetence, had taken out a larger insurance policy than he could reasonably manage. Of the remaining four dollars, she spent over one on lunches, plus there were dresses, underwear, shoes, and stockings to buy, despite the darning and mending; little treats with Eda that added up; and occasionally the dentist—Janet refused to neglect her teeth like Lise did. She managed to save a little, but it was hardly enough. And she felt desperately unhappy when she thought about the gray and monotonous future ahead, picturing herself getting older and older, always pushed by the harsh need to save for potential disasters; slowly drying up, losing those rich abilities to enjoy life that both fascinated and scared her. Marriage, in such an environment, offered no answer; marriage meant dependence, which her very nature resisted. Even in her dull and difficult life, there was still a sense of freedom that marriage would force her to give up...

One warm evening, oppressed by such reflections, she had started home when she remembered having left her bag in the office, and retraced her steps. As she turned the corner of West Street, she saw, beside the canal and directly in front of the bridge, a new and smart-looking automobile, painted crimson and black, of the type known as a runabout, which she recognized as belonging to Mr. Ditmar. Indeed, at that moment Mr. Ditmar himself was stepping off the end of the bridge and about to start the engine when, dropping the crank, he walked to the dashboard and apparently became absorbed in some mechanisms there. Was it the glance cast in her direction that had caused him to delay his departure? Janet was seized by a sudden and rather absurd desire to retreat, but Canal Street being empty, such an action would appear eccentric, and she came slowly forward, pretending not to see her employer, ridiculing to herself the idea that he had noticed her. Much to her annoyance, however, her embarrassment persisted, and she knew it was due to the memory of certain incidents, each in itself almost negligible, but cumulatively amounting to a suspicion that for some months he had been aware of her: many times when he had passed through the outer office she had felt his eyes upon her, had been impelled to look up from her work to surprise in them a certain glow to make her bow her head again in warm confusion. Now, as she approached him, she was pleasantly but rather guiltily conscious of the more rapid beating of the blood that precedes an adventure, yet sufficiently self-possessed to note the becoming nature of the light flannel suit axed rather rakish Panama he had pushed back from his forehead. It was not until she had almost passed him that he straightened up, lifted the Panama, tentatively, and not too far, startling her.

One warm evening, lost in her thoughts, she started heading home when she remembered she had left her bag at the office and turned back. As she rounded the corner of West Street, she spotted a new, stylish car, painted red and black, parked by the canal right in front of the bridge. She recognized it as Mr. Ditmar’s. At that moment, Mr. Ditmar was stepping off the end of the bridge, about to start the engine when he dropped the crank and walked over to the dashboard, seemingly focused on some mechanisms. Had he glanced her way and delayed leaving because of it? Janet suddenly felt an odd urge to turn around, but with Canal Street being deserted, such a move would seem strange, so she continued forward slowly, pretending not to see her boss, internally mocking the thought that he had noticed her. However, much to her annoyance, her embarrassment lingered, stemming from memories of certain incidents that were almost insignificant on their own but added up to a feeling that he had been aware of her for months: many times when he passed through the outer office, she felt his gaze on her and was compelled to look up, only to catch a look in his eyes that made her look down in warm confusion. Now, as she got closer to him, she felt a guilty thrill, the quickened heartbeat that comes before an adventure, but she was calm enough to appreciate the stylish light flannel suit and the slightly rakish Panama hat he had tipped back from his forehead. It wasn’t until she was nearly past him that he straightened up, lifted the Panama hat, tentatively and not too high, startling her.

“Good afternoon, Miss Bumpus,” he said. “I thought you had gone.”

“Good afternoon, Miss Bumpus,” he said. “I thought you had left.”

“I left my bag in the office,” she replied, with the outward calmness that rarely deserted her—the calmness, indeed, that had piqued him and was leading him on to rashness.

“I left my bag in the office,” she replied, with the composed demeanor that seldom left her—the same calmness that had intrigued him and pushed him toward recklessness.

“Oh,” he said. “Simmons will get it for you.” Simmons was the watchman who stood in the vestibule of the office entrance.

“Oh,” he said. “Simmons will get it for you.” Simmons was the security guard who stood in the lobby of the office entrance.

“Thanks. I can get it myself,” she told him, and would have gone on had he not addressed her again. “I was just starting out for a spin. What do you think of the car? It's good looking, isn't it?” He stood off and surveyed it, laughing a little, and in his laugh she detected a note apologetic, at variance with the conception she had formed of his character, though not alien, indeed, to the dust-coloured vigour of the man. She scarcely recognized Ditmar as he stood there, yet he excited her, she felt from him an undercurrent of something that caused her inwardly to tremble. “See how the lines are carried through.” He indicated this by a wave of his hand, but his eyes were now on her.

“Thanks. I can handle it myself,” she said to him, and would have continued if he hadn’t spoken to her again. “I was just about to take it for a spin. What do you think of the car? It looks great, right?” He stepped back and looked it over, laughing a bit, and in his laugh she sensed a hint of apology, which didn’t match the image she had of his character, although it was still somewhat aligned with the rugged energy of the man. She hardly recognized Ditmar as he stood there, yet he intrigued her; she could feel an underlying current from him that made her heart race. “Look how the lines flow.” He pointed this out with a wave of his hand, but his eyes were now focused on her.

“It is pretty,” she agreed.

“It’s nice,” she agreed.

In contrast to the defensive tactics which other ladies of his acquaintance had adopted, tactics of a patently coy and coquettish nature, this self-collected manner was new and spicy, challenging to powers never as yet fully exerted while beneath her manner he felt throbbing that rare and dangerous thing in women, a temperament, for which men have given their souls. This conviction of her possession of a temperament,—he could not have defined the word, emotional rather than intellectual, produced the apologetic attitude she was quick to sense. He had never been, at least during his maturity, at a loss with the other sex, and he found the experience delicious.

In contrast to the defensive strategies that other women he knew had taken on, which were obviously playful and flirtatious, her composed demeanor was refreshing and intriguing. It presented a challenge to aspects of himself that had never been fully explored; beneath her surface, he sensed that rare and dangerous quality found in women—a genuine temperament, for which men have sacrificed a lot. This belief in her possessing such a temperament—he couldn't define it, but it felt more emotional than intellectual—made him feel apologetic, and she quickly picked up on that. He had never been unsure around women, at least not in his adult life, and he found this experience exhilarating.

“You like pretty things, I'm sure of that,” he hazarded. But she did not ask him how he knew, she simply assented. He raised the hood, revealing the engine. “Isn't that pretty? See how nicely everything is adjusted in that little space to do the particular work for which it is designed.”

"You like nice things, I'm sure of that," he guessed. But she didn't ask him how he knew; she just agreed. He lifted the hood, showing the engine. "Isn't that nice? Look at how perfectly everything is arranged in that small area to do the specific job it was made for."

Thus appealed to, she came forward and stopped, still standing off a little way, but near enough to see, gazing at the shining copper caps on the cylinders, at the bright rods and gears.

Thus appealed to, she stepped closer and paused, still standing a bit away, but near enough to see, gazing at the shiny copper caps on the cylinders, at the bright rods and gears.

“It looks intricate,” said Mr. Ditmar, “but really it's very simple. The gasoline comes in here from the tank behind—this is called the carburetor, it has a jet to vaporize the gasoline, and the vapour is sucked into each of these cylinders in turn when the piston moves—like this.” He sought to explain the action of the piston. “That compresses it, and then a tiny electric spark comes just at the right moment to explode it, and the explosion sends the piston down again, and turns the shaft. Well, all four cylinders have an explosion one right after another, and that keeps the shaft going.” Whereupon the most important personage in Hampton, the head of the great Chippering Mill proceeded, for the benefit of a humble assistant stenographer, to remove the floor boards behind the dash. “There's the shaft, come here and look at it.” She obeyed, standing beside him, almost touching him, his arm, indeed, brushing her sleeve, and into his voice crept a tremor. “The shaft turns the rear wheels by means of a gear at right angles on the axle, and the rear wheels drive the car. Do you see?”

“It looks complicated,” Mr. Ditmar said, “but it's actually pretty simple. The gasoline comes in from the tank at the back—this part is called the carburetor. It has a jet that vaporizes the gasoline, and the vapor is drawn into each of these cylinders in order when the piston moves—like this.” He tried to demonstrate how the piston worked. “That compresses it, and then a tiny electric spark ignites it at just the right moment, causing an explosion that pushes the piston down again and turns the shaft. All four cylinders have explosions one after the other, and that keeps the shaft moving.” Then, the most important person in Hampton, the head of the great Chippering Mill, began to remove the floorboards behind the dashboard for the benefit of a humble assistant stenographer. “There’s the shaft; come take a look,” he said. She stepped closer, standing next to him, their arms almost brushing, and a tremor entered his voice. “The shaft turns the rear wheels using a gear at a right angle on the axle, and the rear wheels drive the car. Do you see?”

“Yes,” she answered faintly, honesty compelling her to add: “a little.”

"Yeah," she replied softly, feeling obligated to add, "a little."

He was looking, now, not at the machinery, but intently at her, and she could feel the blood flooding into her cheeks and temples. She was even compelled for an instant to return his glance, and from his eyes into hers leaped a flame that ran scorching through her body. Then she knew with conviction that the explanation of the automobile had been an excuse; she had comprehended almost nothing of it, but she had been impressed by the facility with which he described it, by his evident mastery over it. She had noticed his hands, how thick his fingers were and close together; yet how deftly he had used them, without smearing the cuffs of his silk shirt or the sleeves of his coat with the oil that glistened everywhere.

He was now focused not on the machinery, but intently on her, and she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks and temples. For a moment, she was even compelled to meet his gaze, and a spark leaped from his eyes to hers, sending a wave of heat through her body. In that moment, she realized with certainty that his explanation of the car had been a pretext; she understood almost nothing of it, but she was struck by how easily he spoke about it, his evident mastery of the subject. She noticed his hands, how thick his fingers were and how close together; yet he handled everything so skillfully, without smudging the cuffs of his silk shirt or the sleeves of his coat with the oil that was everywhere.

“I like machinery,” he told her as he replaced the boards. “I like to take care of it myself.”

“I love machines,” he told her while he was putting the boards back. “I prefer to take care of it myself.”

“It must be interesting,” she assented, aware of the inadequacy of the remark, and resenting in herself an inarticulateness seemingly imposed by inhibition connected with his nearness. Fascination and antagonism were struggling within her. Her desire to get away grew desperate.

“It must be interesting,” she agreed, knowing her response was inadequate, and feeling frustrated by her inability to express herself, which seemed tied to his closeness. Both fascination and resentment were battling inside her. Her urge to escape became overwhelming.

“Thank you for showing it to me.” With an effort of will she moved toward the bridge, but was impelled by a consciousness of the abruptness of her departure to look back at him once—and smile, to experience again the thrill of the current he sped after her. By lifting his hat, a little higher, a little more confidently than in the first instance, he made her leaving seem more gracious, the act somehow conveying an acknowledgment on his part that their relationship had changed.

“Thank you for showing it to me.” With determination, she walked toward the bridge, but feeling the suddenness of her departure, she turned back to him once—and smiled, reliving the excitement of the pull he had on her. By lifting his hat a bit higher and with more confidence than before, he made her departure feel more gracious, as if acknowledging that their relationship had shifted.

Once across the bridge and in the mill, she fairly ran up the stairs and into the empty office, to perceive her bag lying on the desk where she had left it, and sat down for a few minutes beside the window, her heart pounding in her breast as though she had barely escaped an accident threatening her with physical annihilation. Something had happened to her at last! But what did it mean? Where would it lead? Her fear, her antagonism, of which she was still conscious, her resentment that Ditmar had thus surreptitiously chosen to approach her in a moment when they were unobserved were mingled with a throbbing exultation in that he had noticed her, that there was something in her to attract him in that way, to make his voice thicker and his smile apologetic when he spoke to her. Of that “something-in-her” she had been aware before, but never had it been so unmistakably recognized and beckoned to from without. She was at once terrified, excited—and flattered.

Once she crossed the bridge and entered the mill, she dashed up the stairs and into the empty office, noticing her bag lying on the desk where she had left it. She sat down for a few minutes by the window, her heart racing as if she had just escaped a serious accident. Something had finally happened to her! But what did it mean? Where would it lead? Her fear and resentment, which were still lingering, mixed with a thrilling joy that Ditmar had noticed her, that something about her had attracted him, making his voice thicker and his smile apologetic when he spoke to her. She had always been aware of that “something-in-her,” but it had never been so clearly recognized and acknowledged from the outside. She felt both terrified and excited—and flattered.

At length, growing calmer, she made her way out of the building. When she reached the vestibule she had a moment of sharp apprehension, of paradoxical hope, that Ditmar might still be there, awaiting her. But he had gone....

At last, feeling calmer, she made her way out of the building. When she reached the entrance, she had a brief moment of intense anxiety, a strange sense of hope, that Ditmar might still be there, waiting for her. But he had left...

In spite of her efforts to dismiss the matter from her mind, to persuade herself there had been no significance in the encounter, when she was seated at her typewriter the next morning she experienced a renewal of the palpitation of the evening before, and at the sound of every step in the corridor she started. Of this tendency she was profoundly ashamed. And when at last Ditmar arrived, though the blood rose to her temples, she kept her eyes fixed on the keys. He went quickly into his room: she was convinced he had not so much as glanced at her.... As the days went by, however, she was annoyed by the discovery that his continued ignoring of her presence brought more resentment than relief, she detected in it a deliberation implying between them a guilty secret: she hated secrecy, though secrecy contained a thrill. Then, one morning when she was alone in the office with young Caldwell, who was absorbed in some reports, Ditmar entered unexpectedly and looked her full in the eyes, surprising her into answering his glance before she could turn away, hating herself and hating him. Hate, she determined, was her prevailing sentiment in regard to Mr. Ditmar.

Despite her attempts to push the situation out of her mind and convince herself that the encounter hadn’t meant anything, when she sat down at her typewriter the next morning, she felt a rush of anxiety just like the night before. Every time she heard footsteps in the corridor, she flinched. She felt deeply embarrassed by this reaction. When Ditmar finally showed up, even though her heart raced, she kept her eyes glued to the keys. He hurried into his room, and she was sure he didn’t even look at her. As the days passed, she grew frustrated to realize that his continued disregard for her presence stirred more resentment than relief. She sensed that it suggested a shared secret between them, something she loathed, even if it came with a certain thrill. Then one morning, when she was alone in the office with young Caldwell, who was focused on some reports, Ditmar came in unexpectedly and locked eyes with her, catching her off guard and forcing her to meet his gaze before she could look away. She felt a mix of self-loathing and anger towards him. Hate, she decided, was her dominant feeling when it came to Mr. Ditmar.

The following Monday Miss Ottway overtook her, at noon, on the stairs.

The following Monday, Miss Ottway caught up with her at noon on the stairs.

“Janet, I wanted to speak to you, to tell you I'm leaving,” she said.

“Janet, I wanted to talk to you, to let you know I'm leaving,” she said.

“Leaving!” repeated Janet, who had regarded Miss Ottway as a fixture.

“Leaving!” Janet repeated, having thought of Miss Ottway as a constant presence.

“I'm going to Boston,” Miss Ottway explained, in her deep, musical voice. “I've always wanted to go, I have an unmarried sister there of whom I'm very fond, and Mr. Ditmar knows that. He's got me a place with the Treasurer, Mr. Semple.”

“I'm going to Boston,” Miss Ottway said, in her rich, melodic voice. “I've always wanted to go. I have an unmarried sister there whom I’m very fond of, and Mr. Ditmar knows that. He got me a position with the Treasurer, Mr. Semple.”

“Oh, I'm sorry you're going, though of course I'm glad for you,” Janet said sincerely, for she liked and respected Miss Ottway, and was conscious in the older woman of a certain kindly interest.

“Oh, I’m sorry you’re leaving, but I’m really happy for you,” Janet said genuinely, because she liked and respected Miss Ottway, and she sensed a kind of warm interest from the older woman.

“Janet, I've recommended you to Mr. Ditmar for my place.”

“Janet, I told Mr. Ditmar to consider you for my position.”

“Oh!” cried Janet, faintly.

“Oh!” cried Janet, weakly.

“It was he who asked about you, he thinks you are reliable and quick and clever, and I was very glad to say a good word for you, my dear, since I could honestly do so.” Miss Ottway drew Janet's arm through hers and patted it affectionately. “Of course you'll have to expect some jealousy, there are older women in the other offices who will think they ought to have the place, but if you attend to your own affairs, as you always have done, there won't be any trouble.”

“It was he who asked about you; he thinks you’re dependable, fast, and smart, and I was really happy to say something nice about you, my dear, since I could honestly do so.” Miss Ottway linked her arm with Janet's and patted it affectionately. “Of course, you should expect some jealousy; there are older women in the other offices who will feel they deserve the position, but if you focus on your own work, as you always have, there won’t be any issues.”

“Oh, I won't take the place, I can't!” Janet cried, so passionately that Miss Ottway looked at her in surprise. “I'm awfully grateful to you,” she added, flushing crimson, “I—I'm afraid I'm not equal to it.”

“Oh, I can't take the position, I can't!” Janet exclaimed, so passionately that Miss Ottway stared at her in surprise. “I'm really grateful to you,” she added, blushing deeply, “I—I’m afraid I'm not up to it.”

“Nonsense,” said the other with decision. “You'd be very foolish not to try it. You won't get as much as I do, at first, at any rate, but a little more money won't be unwelcome, I guess. Mr. Ditmar will speak to you this afternoon. I leave on Saturday. I'm real glad to do you a good turn, Janet, and I know you'll get along,” Miss Ottway added impulsively as they parted at the corner of Faber Street. “I've always thought a good deal of you.”

“Nonsense,” the other replied firmly. “You’d be really silly not to give it a shot. You might not make as much as I do right away, but I’m sure a little extra cash won’t hurt. Mr. Ditmar will talk to you this afternoon. I’m leaving on Saturday. I’m really glad I could help you out, Janet, and I know you’ll do just fine,” Miss Ottway added impulsively as they parted at the corner of Faber Street. “I’ve always thought highly of you.”

For awhile Janet stood still, staring after the sturdy figure of her friend, heedless of the noonday crowd that bumped her. Then she went to Grady's Quick Lunch Counter and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk, which she consumed slowly, profoundly sunk in thought. Presently Eda Rawle arrived, and noticing her preoccupation, inquired what was the matter.

For a while, Janet stood still, watching her strong friend walk away, oblivious to the busy crowd around her. Eventually, she went to Grady's Quick Lunch Counter and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk, which she ate slowly, deep in thought. Soon, Eda Rawle showed up and, noticing her distraction, asked what was wrong.

“Nothing,” said Janet....

“Nothing,” Janet said....

At two o'clock, when Ditmar returned to the office, he called Miss Ottway, who presently came out to summon Janet to his presence. Fresh, immaculate, yet virile in his light suit and silk shirt with red stripes, he was seated at his desk engaged in turning over some papers in a drawer. He kept her waiting a moment, and then said, with apparent casualness:—“Is that you, Miss Bumpus? Would you mind closing the door?”

At two o'clock, when Ditmar got back to the office, he called for Miss Ottway, who soon came out to bring Janet to see him. Looking fresh and polished, yet masculine in his light suit and silk shirt with red stripes, he was sitting at his desk, sorting through some papers in a drawer. He made her wait for a moment, then said, sounding casual, "Is that you, Miss Bumpus? Could you please close the door?"

Janet obeyed, and again stood before him. He looked up. A suggestion of tenseness in her pose betraying an inner attitude of alertness, of defiance, conveyed to him sharply and deliciously once more the panther-like impression he had received when first, as a woman, she had come to his notice. The renewed and heightened perception of this feral quality in her aroused a sense of danger by no means unpleasurable, though warning him that he was about to take an unprecedented step, being drawn beyond the limits of caution he had previously set for himself in divorcing business and sex. Though he was by no means self-convinced of an intention to push the adventure, preferring to leave its possibilities open, he strove in voice and manner to be business-like; and instinct, perhaps, whispered that she might take alarm.

Janet complied and stood before him again. He looked up. A hint of tension in her stance revealed an inner sense of alertness and defiance, sharply and intensely reminding him of the panther-like impression she had made on him when he first noticed her as a woman. The renewed awareness of this wild quality in her stirred a sense of danger that was oddly pleasurable, even though it warned him he was about to take an unprecedented step, crossing the boundaries he had set for himself between business and pleasure. Although he wasn’t fully convinced of an intention to pursue the adventure, preferring to keep its possibilities open, he tried to appear professional in voice and demeanor; instinctively, he felt she might become alarmed.

“Sit down, Miss Bumpus,” he said pleasantly, as he closed the drawer.

“Please take a seat, Miss Bumpus,” he said kindly, as he shut the drawer.

She seated herself on an office chair.

She sat down on an office chair.

“Do you like your work here?” he inquired.

“Do you enjoy your job here?” he asked.

“No,” said Janet.

“No,” Janet said.

“Why not?” he demanded, staring at her.

“Why not?” he asked, looking at her.

“Why should I?” she retorted.

“Why should I?” she snapped.

“Well—what's the trouble with it? It isn't as hard as it would be in some other places, is it?”

“Well—what’s the problem with it? It isn't as difficult as it would be in some other places, right?”

“I'm not saying anything against the place.”

“I'm not saying anything bad about the place.”

“What, then?”

"What's next?"

“You asked me if I liked my work. I don't.”

“You asked me if I liked my job. I don’t.”

“Then why do you do it?” he demanded.

“Then why do you do that?” he asked.

“To live,” she replied.

"To live," she said.

He smiled, but his gesture as he stroked his moustache implied a slight annoyance at her composure. He found it difficult with this dark, self-contained young woman to sustain the role of benefactor.

He smiled, but the way he stroked his moustache suggested he was slightly annoyed by her calmness. He found it hard to keep up the role of a benefactor with this dark, reserved young woman.

“What kind of work would you like to do?” he demanded.

“What kind of work do you want to do?” he asked.

“I don't know. I haven't got the choice, anyway,” she said.

“I don't know. I don’t really have a choice, anyway,” she said.

He observed that she did her work well, to which she made no answer. She refused to help him, although Miss Ottway must have warned her. She acted as though she were conferring the favour. And yet, clearing his throat, he was impelled to say:—“Miss Ottway's leaving me, she's going into the Boston office with Mr. Semple, the treasurer of the corporation. I shall miss her, she's an able and reliable woman, and she knows my ways.” He paused, fingering his paper knife. “The fact is, Miss Bumpus, she's spoken highly of you, she tells me you're quick and accurate and painstaking—I've noticed that for myself. She seems to think you could do her work, and recommends that I give you a trial. You understand, of course, that the position is in a way confidential, and that you could not expect at first, at any rate, the salary Miss Ottway has had, but I'm willing to offer you fourteen dollars a week to begin with, and afterwards, if we get along together, to give you more. What do you say?”

He noticed that she did her work well, but she didn’t respond. She refused to help him, even though Miss Ottway must have warned her. She acted like she was doing him a favor. Still, clearing his throat, he felt compelled to say: “Miss Ottway is leaving me; she’s going to the Boston office with Mr. Semple, the treasurer of the corporation. I’m going to miss her; she’s capable and dependable, and she understands my ways.” He paused, fiddling with his paper knife. “Actually, Miss Bumpus, she’s spoken highly of you; she tells me you’re quick, accurate, and diligent—I’ve noticed that myself. She seems to think you could handle her work and recommends that I give you a chance. You understand, of course, that the position is somewhat confidential, and you shouldn’t expect the same salary Miss Ottway has had at first, but I’m willing to offer you fourteen dollars a week to start, and if we work well together, I can give you more later. What do you think?”

“I'd like to try it, Mr. Ditmar,” Janet said, and added nothing, no word of gratitude or of appreciation to that consent.

“I want to try it, Mr. Ditmar,” Janet said, not adding anything else, no thanks or appreciation for that agreement.

“Very well then,” he replied, “that's settled. Miss Ottway will explain things to you, and tell you about my peculiarities. And when she goes you can take her desk, by the window nearest my door.”

“Okay then,” he replied, “that's decided. Miss Ottway will fill you in and tell you about my quirks. And when she leaves, you can use her desk by the window closest to my door.”

Ditmar sat idle for some minutes after she had gone, staring through the open doorway into the outer office....

Ditmar sat still for a few minutes after she left, gazing through the open doorway into the outer office....

To Ditmar she had given no evidence of the storm his offer had created in her breast, and it was characteristic also that she waited until supper was nearly over to inform her family, making the announcement in a matter-of-fact tone, just as though it were not the unique piece of good fortune that had come to the Bumpuses since Edward had been eliminated from the mercantile establishment at Dolton. The news was received with something like consternation. For the moment Hannah was incapable of speech, and her hand trembled as she resumed the cutting of the pie: but hope surged within her despite her effort to keep it down, her determination to remain true to the fatalism from which she had paradoxically derived so much comfort. The effect on Edward, while somewhat less violent, was temporarily to take away his appetite. Hope, to flower in him, needed but little watering. Great was his faith in the Bumpus blood, and secretly he had always regarded his eldest daughter as the chosen vessel for their redemption.

To Ditmar, she showed no signs of the turmoil his proposal had stirred in her heart, and it was typical of her to wait until almost the end of supper to inform her family, delivering the news in a straightforward way, as if it weren’t the rare stroke of luck that had come to the Bumpuses since Edward was let go from the store in Dolton. The announcement was met with a sort of shock. For a moment, Hannah was lost for words, her hand shaking as she went back to slicing the pie; yet, hope rose within her despite her attempts to suppress it, her determination to stick to the fatalism that had strangely given her so much comfort. The impact on Edward, while a bit less intense, caused him to lose his appetite for a bit. Hope needed little encouragement to bloom in him. He had great faith in the Bumpus lineage and secretly had always seen his eldest daughter as the key to their salvation.

“Well, I swan!” he exclaimed, staring at her in admiration and neglecting his pie, “I've always thought you had it in you to get on, Janet. I guess I've told you you've always put me in mind of Eliza Bumpus—the one that held out against the Indians till her husband came back with the neighbours. I was just reading about her again the other night.”

“Wow!” he exclaimed, staring at her in admiration and ignoring his pie, “I've always known you had what it takes to succeed, Janet. I think I’ve mentioned that you remind me of Eliza Bumpus—the one who stood strong against the Indians until her husband returned with the neighbors. I was just reading about her again the other night.”

“Yes, you've told us, Edward,” said Hannah.

“Yes, you’ve told us, Edward,” Hannah said.

“She had gumption,” he went on, undismayed. “And from what I can gather of her looks I calculate you favour her—she was dark and not so very tall—not so tall as you, I guess. So you're goin'” (he pronounced it very slowly) “you're goin' to be Mr. Ditmar's private stenographer! He's a smart man, Mr. Ditmar, he's a good man, too. All you've got to do is to behave right by him. He always speaks to me when he passes by the gate. I was sorry for him when his wife died—a young woman, too. And he's never married again! Well, I swan!”

“She had guts,” he continued, unfazed. “And from what I can tell by her looks, I figure you like her—she was dark and not very tall—not as tall as you, I guess. So you're going” (he said it very slowly) “you're going to be Mr. Ditmar's personal stenographer! He's a smart guy, Mr. Ditmar, and he's a good guy, too. All you have to do is treat him right. He always talks to me when he walks by the gate. I felt bad for him when his wife passed away—a young woman, too. And he's never remarried! Well, I’ll be!”

“You'd better quit swanning,” exclaimed Hannah. “And what's Mr. Ditmar's goodness got to do with it? He's found-out Janet has sense, she's willing and hard working, he won't” (pronounced want) “he won't be the loser by it, and he's not giving her what he gave Miss Ottway. It's just like you, thinking he's doing her a good turn.”

“You'd better stop showing off,” Hannah exclaimed. “And what does Mr. Ditmar's kindness have to do with it? He's realized that Janet is sensible, she’s eager, and she works hard; he won’t be the loser because of it, and he's not giving her what he gave to Miss Ottway. It’s just like you, thinking he’s doing her a favor.”

“I'm not saying Janet isn't smart,” he protested, “but I know it's hard to get work with so many folks after every job.”

“I'm not saying Janet isn't smart,” he argued, “but I know it's tough to find a job with so many people competing for every position.”

“Maybe it ain't so hard when you've got some get-up and go,” Hannah retorted rather cruelly. It was thus characteristically and with unintentional sharpness she expressed her maternal pride by a reflection not only upon Edward, but Lise also. Janet had grown warm at the mention of Ditmar's name.

“Maybe it isn't so tough when you've got some energy,” Hannah snapped rather harshly. It was typical for her, with unintentional sharpness, to show her maternal pride by reflecting not just on Edward, but also on Lise. Janet had felt a warmth at the mention of Ditmar's name.

“It was Miss Ottway who recommended me,” she said, glancing at her sister, who during this conversation had sat in silence. Lise's expression, normally suggestive of a discontent not unbecoming to her type, had grown almost sullen. Hannah's brisk gathering up of the dishes was suddenly arrested.

“It was Miss Ottway who recommended me,” she said, glancing at her sister, who had been silent during this conversation. Lise's expression, usually hinting at a discontent suited to her type, had become almost gloomy. Hannah's quick tidying up of the dishes came to a sudden stop.

“Lise, why don't you say something to your sister? Ain't you glad she's got the place?”

“Lise, why don’t you say something to your sister? Aren’t you happy she got the place?”

“Sure, I'm glad,” said Lise, and began to unscrew the top of the salt shaker. “I don't see why I couldn't get a raise, too. I work just as hard as she does.”

“Sure, I'm glad,” said Lise, starting to unscrew the top of the salt shaker. “I don't see why I couldn't get a raise, too. I work just as hard as she does.”

Edward, who had never got a “raise” in his life, was smitten with compunction and sympathy.

Edward, who had never received a “raise” in his life, was filled with guilt and compassion.

“Give 'em time, Lise,” he said consolingly. “You ain't so old as Janet.”

“Give them some time, Lise,” he said reassuringly. “You’re not as old as Janet.”

“Time!” she cried, flaring up and suddenly losing her control. “I've got a picture of Waiters giving me a raise I know the girls that get raises from him.”

“Time!” she shouted, suddenly losing her cool. “I've got a picture of Waiters giving me a raise. I know the girls who get raises from him.”

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” Hannah declared. “There—you've spilled the salt!”

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Hannah said. “Look—you’ve spilled the salt!”

But Lise, suddenly bursting into tears, got up and left the room. Edward picked up the Banner and pretended to read it, while Janet collected the salt and put it back into the shaker. Hannah, gathering up the rest of the dishes, disappeared into the kitchen, but presently returned, as though she had forgotten something.

But Lise, suddenly breaking down in tears, got up and left the room. Edward picked up the Banner and pretended to read it, while Janet gathered the salt and put it back into the shaker. Hannah, cleaning up the rest of the dishes, went into the kitchen but soon came back, as if she had forgotten something.

“Hadn't you better go after her?” she said to Janet.

“Shouldn't you go after her?” she said to Janet.

“I'm afraid it won't be any use. She's got sort of queer, lately—she thinks they're down on her.”

“I'm afraid it won't help. She's been acting a bit weird lately—she thinks everyone is against her.”

“I'm sorry I spoke so sharp. But then—” Hannah shook her head, and her sentence remained unfinished.

“I'm sorry I spoke so harshly. But then—” Hannah shook her head, and her sentence remained unfinished.

Janet sought her sister, but returned after a brief interval, with the news that Lise had gone out.

Janet looked for her sister but came back after a short while with the news that Lise had left.

One of the delights of friendship, as is well known, is the exchange of confidences of joy or sorrow, but there was, in Janet's promotion, something intensely personal to increase her natural reserve. Her feelings toward Ditmar were so mingled as to defy analysis, and several days went by before she could bring herself to inform Eda Rawle of the new business relationship in which she stood to the agent of the Chippering Mill. The sky was still bright as they walked out Warren Street after supper, Eda bewailing the trials of the day just ended: Mr. Frye, the cashier of the bank, had had one of his cantankerous fits, had found fault with her punctuation, nothing she had done had pleased him. But presently, when they had come to what the Banner called the “residential district,” she was cheered by the sight of the green lawns, the flowerbeds and shrubbery, the mansions of those inhabitants of Hampton unfamiliar with boardinghouses and tenements. Before one of these she paused, retaining Janet by the arm, exclaiming wistfully:

One of the joys of friendship, as we all know, is sharing our secrets, whether they’re about happiness or sadness. However, Janet’s promotion brought up something deeply personal that made her naturally reserved. Her feelings for Ditmar were so mixed that she couldn’t figure them out, and several days passed before she could tell Eda Rawle about her new job with the agent of the Chippering Mill. The sky was still bright as they walked down Warren Street after dinner, with Eda complaining about the challenges of the day just gone: Mr. Frye, the bank’s cashier, had been in one of his bad moods, criticizing her punctuation, and nothing she did seemed to make him happy. But soon, as they reached what the Banner labeled the “residential district,” she felt uplifted by the sight of green lawns, flowerbeds, and shrubbery, the grand homes of people in Hampton who didn’t know what boardinghouses and tenements were like. She stopped in front of one of these houses, holding onto Janet’s arm and exclaimed wistfully:

“Wouldn't you like to live there? That belongs to your boss.”

“Wouldn't you want to live there? That's your boss's place.”

Janet, who had been dreaming as she gazed at the facade of rough stucco that once had sufficed to fill the ambitions of the late Mrs. Ditmar, recognized it as soon as Eda spoke, and dragged her friend hastily, almost roughly along the sidewalk until they had reached the end of the block. Janet was red.

Janet, lost in thought as she looked at the rough stucco facade that once fulfilled the dreams of the late Mrs. Ditmar, recognized it the moment Eda spoke. She quickly pulled her friend along the sidewalk, almost dragging her, until they reached the end of the block. Janet was flushed.

“What's the matter?” demanded Eda, as soon as she had recovered from her surprise.

“What's wrong?” Eda asked, as soon as she got over her surprise.

“Nothing,” said Janet. “Only—I'm in his office.”

“Nothing,” Janet said. “Just that—I’m in his office.”

“But what of it? You've got a right to look at his house, haven't you?”

“But what about it? You have the right to look at his house, don’t you?”

“Why yes,—a right,” Janet assented. Knowing Eda's ambitions for her were not those of a business career, she was in terror lest her friend should scent a romance, and for this reason she had never spoken of the symptoms Ditmar had betrayed. She attempted to convey to Eda the doubtful taste of staring point-blank at the house of one's employer, especially when he might be concealed behind a curtain.

“Of course,” Janet agreed. Knowing that Eda didn’t have ambitions for a business career, she was scared that her friend might pick up on a romance, which is why she had never mentioned the signs Ditmar had shown. She tried to hint to Eda about how awkward it was to stare directly at your boss's house, especially when he might be hiding behind a curtain.

“You see,” she added, “Miss Ottway's recommended me for her place—she's going away.”

“You see,” she added, “Miss Ottway has recommended me for her position—she's leaving.”

“Janet!” cried Eda. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“Janet!” yelled Eda. “Why didn’t you let me know?”

“Well,” said Janet guiltily, “it's only a trial. I don't know whether he'll keep me or not.”

“Well,” Janet said, feeling guilty, “it’s just a trial. I’m not sure if he’ll keep me or not.”

“Of course he'll keep you,” said Eda, warmly. “If that isn't just like you, not saying a word about it. Gee, if I'd had a raise like that I just couldn't wait to tell you. But then, I'm not smart like you.”

“Of course he’ll keep you,” Eda said warmly. “Isn’t that just like you, not saying a word about it? Wow, if I’d gotten a raise like that, I wouldn’t be able to wait to tell you. But then, I’m not as smart as you.”

“Don't be silly,” said Janet, out of humour with herself, and annoyed because she could not then appreciate Eda's generosity.

“Don't be ridiculous,” said Janet, frustrated with herself and annoyed because she couldn't appreciate Eda's kindness at that moment.

“We've just got to celebrate!” declared Eda, who had the gift, which Janet lacked, of taking her joys vicariously; and her romantic and somewhat medieval proclivities would permit no such momentous occasion to pass without an appropriate festal symbol. “We'll have a spree on Saturday—the circus is coming then.”

“We’ve got to celebrate!” declared Eda, who had the ability that Janet lacked to enjoy her happiness through others; and her romantic and somewhat old-fashioned tendencies wouldn’t let such an important occasion go by without a fitting celebration. “We’ll have a party on Saturday—the circus is coming then.”

“It'll be my spree,” insisted Janet, her heart warming. “I've got the raise....”

“It'll be my treat,” insisted Janet, her heart brightening. “I got the raise....”

On Saturday, accordingly, they met at Grady's for lunch, Eda attired in her best blouse of pale blue, and when they emerged from the restaurant, despite the torrid heat, she beheld Faber Street as in holiday garb as they made their way to the cool recesses of Winterhalter's to complete the feast. That glorified drug-store with the five bays included in its manifold functions a department rivalling Delmonico's, with electric fans and marble-topped tables and white-clad waiters who took one's order and filled it at the soda fountain. It mattered little to Eda that the young man awaiting their commands had pimples and long hair and grinned affectionately as he greeted them.

On Saturday, they met at Grady's for lunch, with Eda dressed in her best light blue blouse. When they came out of the restaurant, despite the sweltering heat, she saw Faber Street looking festive as they headed to the cool spots of Winterhalter's to finish their meal. That fancy drugstore, with its five sections, included a department that gave Delmonico's a run for its money, complete with electric fans, marble-topped tables, and white-uniformed waiters who took orders and served them at the soda fountain. Eda didn't mind that the young man waiting on them had acne, long hair, and greeted them with a friendly grin.

“Hello, girls!” he said. “What strikes you to-day?”

“Hey, girls!” he said. “What catches your attention today?”

“Me for a raspberry nut sundae,” announced Eda, and Janet, being unable to imagine any more delectable confection, assented. The penetrating odour peculiar to drugstores, dominated by menthol and some unnamable but ancient remedy for catarrh, was powerless to interfere with their enjoyment.

“I'm getting a raspberry nut sundae,” said Eda, and Janet, unable to picture anything more delicious, agreed. The strong smell typical of drugstores, filled with menthol and some mysterious but old remedy for colds, couldn’t spoil their enjoyment.

The circus began at two. Rather than cling to the straps of a crowded car they chose to walk, following the familiar route of the trolley past the car barns and the base-ball park to the bare field under the seared face of Torrey's Hill, where circuses were wont to settle. A sirocco-like breeze from the southwest whirled into eddies the clouds of germ-laden dust stirred up by the automobiles, blowing their skirts against their legs, and sometimes they were forced to turn, clinging to their hats, confused and giggling, conscious of male glances. The crowd, increasing as they proceeded, was in holiday mood; young men with a newly-washed aspect, in Faber Street suits, chaffed boisterously groups of girls, who retorted with shrill cries and shrieks of laughter; amorous couples strolled, arm in arm, oblivious, as though the place were as empty as Eden; lady-killers with exaggerated square shoulders, wearing bright neckties, their predatory instincts alert, hovered about in eager search of adventure. There were men-killers, too, usually to be found in pairs, in startling costumes they had been persuaded were the latest Paris models,—imitations of French cocottes in Hampton, proof of the smallness of our modern world. Eda regarded them superciliously.

The circus started at two. Instead of squeezing into a crowded car, they opted to walk along the familiar path of the trolley, passing the car barns and the baseball park to the empty field under the sun-baked slope of Torrey's Hill, where circuses usually set up. A warm breeze from the southwest whipped up the dust clouds stirred by the cars, blowing against their legs and occasionally forcing them to turn, clutching their hats, feeling a bit disoriented and giggling, aware of the male attention. The crowd grew as they moved forward, in a festive mood; young men looking freshly scrubbed in their Faber Street suits joked loudly with groups of girls, who responded with high-pitched laughter and squeals; couples walked closely, completely unaware, as if the area were as deserted as Eden; flirtatious guys with broad shoulders, sporting bright ties, eagerly searched for excitement. There were also flirtatious women, usually found in pairs, dressed in eye-catching outfits they were convinced were the latest Paris trends—mimicking French ladies of the night right in Hampton, showing how small our modern world really is. Eda looked at them with disdain.

“They'd like you to think they'd never been near a loom or a bobbin!” she exclaimed.

“They want you to believe they’ve never been near a loom or a bobbin!” she exclaimed.

In addition to these more conspicuous elements, the crowd contained sober operatives of the skilled sort possessed of sufficient means to bring hither their families, including the baby; there were section-hands and foremen, slashers, mule spinners, beamers, French-Canadians, Irish, Scotch, Welsh and English, Germans, with only an occasional Italian, Lithuanian, or Jew. Peanut and popcorn men, venders of tamales and Chile-con-carne hoarsely shouted their wares, while from afar could be heard the muffled booming of a band. Janet's heart beat faster. She regarded with a tinge of awe the vast expanse of tent that rose before her eyes, the wind sending ripples along the heavy canvas from circumference to tent pole. She bought the tickets; they entered the circular enclosure where the animals were kept; where the strong beams of the sun, in trying to force their way through the canvas roof, created an unnatural, jaundiced twilight, the weirdness of which was somehow enhanced by the hoarse, amazingly penetrating growls of beasts. Suddenly a lion near them raised a shaggy head, emitting a series of undulating, soul-shaking roars.

In addition to these more obvious elements, the crowd included serious workers with enough money to bring their families along, including the baby; there were section workers and foremen, loggers, mule spinners, weavers, French-Canadians, Irish, Scots, Welsh, English, Germans, and only an occasional Italian, Lithuanian, or Jew. Peanut and popcorn vendors, sellers of tamales and chili con carne shouted out their goods, while in the distance, the muffled sound of a band could be heard. Janet's heart raced. She looked at the huge expanse of tent in awe, the wind causing ripples in the heavy canvas from the edges to the tent pole. She bought the tickets; they entered the circular enclosure where the animals were kept; where the strong rays of the sun, trying to break through the canvas roof, created an unnatural, sickly twilight, made even stranger by the deep, penetrating growls of the animals. Suddenly, a lion nearby lifted its shaggy head and let out a series of powerful, soul-shaking roars.

“Ah, what's eatin' you?” demanded a thick-necked youth, pretending not to be awestricken by this demonstration.

“Hey, what’s bothering you?” asked a bulky young man, pretending not to be impressed by this display.

“Suppose he'd get out!” cried Eda, drawing Janet away.

“Imagine if he got out!” cried Eda, pulling Janet away.

“I wouldn't let him hurt you, dearie,” the young man assured her.

“I wouldn't let him hurt you, sweetie,” the young man promised her.

“You!” she retorted contemptuously, but grinned in spite of herself, showing her gums.

“You!” she shot back with disdain, but couldn’t help but smile a little, revealing her gums.

The vague feeling of terror inspired by this tent was a part of its fascination, for it seemed pregnant with potential tragedies suggested by the juxtaposition of helpless babies and wild beasts, the babies crying or staring in blank amazement at padding tigers whose phosphorescent eyes never left these morsels beyond the bars. The two girls wandered about, their arms closely locked, but the strange atmosphere, the roars of the beasts, the ineffable, pungent odour of the circus, of sawdust mingled with the effluvia of animals, had aroused an excitement that was slow in subsiding. Some time elapsed before they were capable of taking a normal interest in the various exhibits.

The vague sense of fear that this tent inspired was part of its allure, as it seemed full of potential tragedies suggested by the contrast between helpless babies and wild animals, the babies either crying or staring in wide-eyed wonder at padded tigers whose glowing eyes never left these little ones beyond the bars. The two girls walked around, their arms tightly linked, but the unusual atmosphere, the roars of the animals, and the intense, unique smell of the circus—sawdust mixed with the scents of the animals—had stirred up an excitement that took a while to fade. It took some time before they could take an ordinary interest in the various exhibits.

“'Adjutant Bird,'” Janet read presently from a legend on one of the compartments of a cage devoted to birds, and surveying the somewhat dissolute occupant. “Why, he's just like one of those tall mashers who stay at the Wilmot and stand on the sidewalk,—travelling men, you know.”

“'Adjutant Bird,'” Janet read from a label on one of the compartments of a cage for birds, looking at the somewhat disheveled occupant. “Wow, he’s just like one of those tall guys who hang out at the Wilmot and stand on the sidewalk—traveling salesmen, you know.”

“Say-isn't he?” Eda agreed. “Isn't he pleased with himself, and his feet crossed!”

“Isn't he?” Eda agreed. “Isn't he so pleased with himself, with his feet crossed!”

“And see this one, Eda—he's a 'Harpy Eagle.' There's somebody we know looks just like that. Wait a minute—I'll tell you—it's the woman who sits in the cashier's cage at Grady's.”

“And look at this one, Eda—he's a 'Harpy Eagle.' There's someone we know who looks exactly like that. Hold on a second—I’ll tell you—it’s the woman who works at the cash register at Grady's.”

“If it sure isn't!” said Eda.

“If it really isn't!” said Eda.

“She has the same fluffy, light hair—hairpins can't keep it down, and she looks at you in that same sort of surprised way with her head on one side when you hand in your check.”

“She has the same fluffy, light hair—hairpins can't hold it down, and she looks at you with that same surprised expression, tilting her head to one side when you hand in your check.”

“Why, it's true to the life!” cried Eda enthusiastically. “She thinks she's got all the men cinched,—she does and she's forty if she's a day.”

“Wow, it's so realistic!” Eda exclaimed excitedly. “She thinks she has all the men locked down—she really does, and she's at least forty.”

These comparisons brought them to a pitch of risible enjoyment amply sustained by the spectacle in the monkey cage, to which presently they turned. A chimpanzee, with a solicitation more than human, was solemnly searching a friend for fleas in the midst of a pandemonium of chattering and screeching and chasing, of rattling of bars and trapezes carried on by their companions.

These comparisons led them to a level of laughter that was fully supported by the scene in the monkey cage, which they soon focused on. A chimpanzee, with a more human-like eagerness, was seriously searching a companion for fleas amidst a chaos of chattering, screeching, and running around, along with the rattling of bars and trapezes being used by their friends.

“Well, young ladies,” said a voice, “come to pay a call on your relations—have ye?”

“Well, young ladies,” said a voice, “are you here to visit your relatives?”

Eda giggled hysterically. An elderly man was standing beside them. He was shabbily dressed, his own features were wizened, almost simian, and by his friendly and fatuous smile Janet recognized one of the harmless obsessed in which Hampton abounded.

Eda laughed uncontrollably. An old man was standing next to them. He was poorly dressed, his features were wrinkled, almost monkey-like, and from his friendly but silly smile, Janet realized he was one of the harmless eccentrics that Hampton had plenty of.

“Relations!” Eda exclaimed.

“Connections!” Eda exclaimed.

“You and me, yes, and her,” he answered, looking at Janet, though at first he had apparently entertained some doubt as to this inclusion, “we're all descended from them.” His gesture triumphantly indicated the denizens of the cage.

“You and me, yeah, and her,” he replied, glancing at Janet, though at first he seemed a bit unsure about including her, “we're all descended from them.” His gesture proudly pointed to the people in the cage.

“What are you giving us?” said Eda.

“What are you giving us?” Eda asked.

“Ain't you never read Darwin?” he demanded. “If you had, you'd know they're our ancestors, you'd know we came from them instead of Adam and Eve. That there's a fable.”

“Aren't you ever read Darwin?” he demanded. “If you had, you'd know they're our ancestors, you'd know we came from them instead of Adam and Eve. That there's a myth.”

“I'll never believe I came from them,” cried Eda, vehement in her disgust.

"I can't believe I came from them," Eda exclaimed, clearly disgusted.

But Janet laughed. “What's the difference? Some of us aren't any better than monkeys, anyway.”

But Janet laughed. “What’s the difference? Some of us aren’t any better than monkeys, anyway.”

“That's so,” said the man approvingly. “That's so.” He wanted to continue the conversation, but they left him rather ruthlessly. And when, from the entrance to the performance tent, they glanced back over their shoulders, he was still gazing at his cousins behind the bars, seemingly deriving an acute pleasure from his consciousness of the connection....

“That's right,” the man said with approval. “That's right.” He wanted to keep the conversation going, but they left him rather harshly. And when, from the entrance to the performance tent, they looked back over their shoulders, he was still looking at his cousins behind the bars, seemingly finding great enjoyment in knowing their connection....





CHAPTER VI

Modern business, by reason of the mingling of the sexes it involves, for the playwright and the novelist and the sociologist is full of interesting and dramatic situations, and in it may be studied, undoubtedly, one phase of the evolution tending to transform if not disintegrate certain institutions hitherto the corner-stones of society. Our stage is set. A young woman, conscious of ability, owes her promotion primarily to certain dynamic feminine qualities with which she is endowed. And though she may make an elaborate pretense of ignoring the fact, in her heart she knows and resents it, while at the same time, paradoxically, she gets a thrill from it,—a sustaining and inspiring thrill of power! On its face it is a business arrangement; secretly,—attempt to repudiate this as one may,—it is tinged with the colours of high adventure. When Janet entered into the intimate relationship with Mr. Claude Ditmar necessitated by her new duties as his private stenographer her attitude, slightly defiant, was the irreproachable one of a strict attention to duty. All unconsciously she was a true daughter of the twentieth century, and probably a feminist at heart, which is to say that her conduct was determined by no preconceived or handed-down notions of what was proper and lady-like. For feminism, in a sense, is a return to atavism, and sex antagonism and sex attraction are functions of the same thing. There were moments when she believed herself to hate Mr. Ditmar, when she treated him with an aloofness, an impersonality unsurpassed; moments when he paused in his dictation to stare at her in astonishment. He, who flattered himself that he understood women!

Modern business, because of the interactions between men and women it involves, is full of interesting and dramatic situations for playwrights, novelists, and sociologists. It certainly showcases one aspect of the evolution that is changing, if not breaking down, certain institutions that have long been the foundations of society. Our stage is set. A young woman, aware of her abilities, owes her promotion mainly to certain powerful feminine traits she possesses. And even though she might pretend not to notice, deep down she knows and resents this, while at the same time, paradoxically, she feels a thrill from it—a sustaining and inspiring thrill of power! On the surface, it’s a business arrangement; secretly—no matter how much one tries to deny it—it has the excitement of high adventure. When Janet entered into the close relationship with Mr. Claude Ditmar required by her new role as his private secretary, her slightly defiant attitude was simply one of strict focus on her responsibilities. Unconsciously, she embodied the spirit of the twentieth century and was likely a feminist at heart, meaning her actions were not dictated by outdated ideas about what was appropriate and ladylike. In a sense, feminism represents a return to our primal instincts, where gender conflict and attraction are two sides of the same coin. There were times she thought she hated Mr. Ditmar, treating him with an unbeatable aloofness and impersonality; moments when he stopped dictating to stare at her in astonishment. He, who believed he understood women!

She would show him!—such was her dominating determination. Her promotion assumed the guise of a challenge, of a gauntlet flung down at the feet of her sex. In a certain way, an insult, though incredibly stimulating. If he flattered himself that he had done her a favour, if he entertained the notion that he could presently take advantage of the contact with her now achieved to make unbusinesslike advances—well, he would find out. He had proclaimed his desire for an able assistant in Miss Ottway's place—he would get one, and nothing more. She watched narrowly, a l'affut, as the French say, for any signs of sentiment, and indeed this awareness of her being on guard may have had some influence on Mr. Ditmar's own attitude, likewise irreproachable.... A rather anaemic young woman, a Miss Annie James, was hired for Janet's old place.

She would show him!—that was her strong determination. Her promotion felt like a challenge, like a gauntlet thrown down at the feet of her gender. In a way, it was an insult, though incredibly motivating. If he thought he had done her a favor, if he entertained the idea that he could take advantage of their new connection to make unprofessional advances—well, he was in for a surprise. He had expressed his desire for a capable assistant in place of Miss Ottway—he would get one, and nothing more. She watched closely, on the lookout, as the French say, for any signs of affection, and this awareness of her being on guard might have influenced Mr. Ditmar's own behavior, which was also above reproach.... A rather pale young woman, Miss Annie James, was hired to take Janet's old position.

In spite of this aloofness and alertness, for the first time in her life Janet felt the exuberance of being in touch with affairs of import. Hitherto the mill had been merely a greedy monster claiming her freedom and draining her energies in tasks routine, such as the copying of meaningless documents and rows of figures; now, supplied with stimulus and a motive, the Corporation began to take on significance, and she flung herself into the work with an ardour hitherto unknown, determined to make herself so valuable to Ditmar that the time would come when he could not do without her. She strove to memorize certain names and addresses, lest time be lost in looking them up, to familiarize herself with the ordinary run of his correspondence, to recall what letters were to be marked “personal,” to anticipate matters of routine, in order that he might not have the tedium of repeating instructions; she acquired the faculty of keeping his engagements in her head; she came early to the office, remaining after hours, going through the files, becoming familiar with his system; and she learned to sort out his correspondence, sifting the important from the unimportant, to protect him, more and more, from numerous visitors who called only to waste his time. Her instinct for the detection of book-agents, no matter how brisk and businesslike they might appear, was unerring—she remembered faces and the names belonging to them: an individual once observed to be persona non grata never succeeded in passing her twice. On one occasion Ditmar came out of his office to see the back of one of these visitors disappearing into the corridor.

In spite of this distance and alertness, for the first time in her life, Janet felt the excitement of being involved in important matters. Until now, the mill had just been a selfish entity that took away her freedom and drained her energy with tedious tasks, like copying pointless documents and endless figures; but now, with motivation and purpose, the Corporation started to have meaning, and she threw herself into the work with a passion she had never known before, determined to make herself indispensable to Ditmar, so that one day he couldn’t do without her. She worked hard to memorize certain names and addresses to save time, got to know the usual flow of his correspondence, remembered which letters needed to be marked “personal,” anticipated routine matters, so he wouldn’t have to repeat instructions; she developed the ability to keep track of his appointments in her mind; she arrived early at the office, stayed late, sorted through the files, got familiar with his system; and she learned to sift through his correspondence, distinguishing the important from the unimportant, to shield him more and more from various visitors who just wanted to waste his time. Her instinct for spotting book agents, no matter how sharp and professional they seemed, was infallible—she remembered faces and their associated names: someone once labeled as persona non grata never managed to get past her twice. On one occasion, Ditmar stepped out of his office to see one of these visitors disappearing down the hallway.

“Who was that?” he asked.

“Who was that?” he asked.

“His name is McCalla,” she said. “I thought you didn't want to be bothered.”

“His name is McCalla,” she said. “I thought you didn’t want to be disturbed.”

“But how in thunder did you get rid of him?” he demanded.

“But how the heck did you get rid of him?” he asked.

“Oh, I just wouldn't let him in,” she replied demurely.

“Oh, I just wouldn’t let him in,” she replied shyly.

And Ditmar went away, wondering.... Thus she studied him, without permitting him to suspect it, learning his idiosyncrasies, his attitude toward all those with whom daily he came in contact, only to find herself approving. She was forced to admit that he was a judge of men, compelled to admire his adroitness in dealing with them. He could be democratic or autocratic as occasion demanded; he knew when to yield, and when to remain inflexible. One morning, for instance, there arrived from New York a dapper salesman whose jauntily tied bow, whose thin hair—carefully parted to conceal an incipient baldness—whose wary and slightly weary eyes all impressively suggested the metropolitan atmosphere of high pressure and sophistication from which he had emerged. He had a machine to sell; an amazing machine, endowed with human intelligence and more than human infallibility; for when it made a mistake it stopped. It was designed for the express purpose of eliminating from the payroll the skilled and sharp-eyed women who are known as “drawers-in,” who sit all day long under a north light patiently threading the ends of the warp through the heddles of the loom harness. Janet's imagination was gradually fired as she listened to the visitor's eloquence; and the textile industry, which hitherto had seemed to her uninteresting and sordid, took on the colours of romance.

And Ditmar walked away, thinking.... She observed him carefully, without letting him notice, learning his quirks and his attitude towards everyone he interacted with daily, only to find herself approving. She had to admit that he was a good judge of character, and she couldn’t help but admire his skill in handling people. He could be either democratic or autocratic depending on the situation; he knew when to back down and when to stand his ground. One morning, for example, a stylish salesman arrived from New York, his bow tie perfectly tied, his thin hair—neatly parted to hide a hint of baldness—his cautious and slightly tired eyes all impressively conveying the bustling, high-pressure atmosphere of the city he came from. He had a machine to sell; an incredible machine, equipped with human-like intelligence and more than human reliability; for if it made a mistake, it would stop. It was designed to replace the skilled and watchful women known as “drawers-in,” who spend all day under a north light carefully threading the warp ends through the heddles of the loom. Janet’s imagination was gradually ignited as she listened to the visitor’s persuasive talk; the textile industry, which had previously seemed dull and grim to her, transformed into something vibrant and romantic.

“Now I've made up my mind we'll place one with you, Mr. Ditmar,” the salesman concluded. “I don't object to telling you we'd rather have one in the Chippering than in any mill in New England.”

“Now I've decided we’ll put one with you, Mr. Ditmar,” the salesman said. “I don’t mind telling you we’d prefer having one in the Chippering than in any mill in New England.”

Janet was surprised, almost shocked to see Ditmar shake his head, yet she felt a certain reluctant admiration because he had not been swayed by blandishments. At such moments, when he was bent on refusing a request, he seemed physically to acquire massiveness,—and he had a dogged way of chewing his cigar.

Janet was surprised, almost shocked, to see Ditmar shake his head, but she felt a certain reluctant admiration because he had not been influenced by flattery. At times like these, when he was determined to turn down a request, he seemed to physically take up more space—and he had a stubborn way of chewing his cigar.

“I don't want it, yet,” he replied, “not until you improve it.” And she was impressed by the fact that he seemed to know as much about the machine as the salesman himself. In spite of protests, denials, appeals, he remained firm. “When you get rid of the defects I've mentioned come back, Mr. Hicks—but don't come back until then.”

“I don't want it yet,” he replied, “not until you fix it.” And she was impressed that he seemed to know as much about the machine as the salesman did. Despite protests, denials, and pleas, he stood his ground. “When you fix the issues I've pointed out, come back, Mr. Hicks—but don't come back until then.”

And Mr. Hicks departed, discomfited....

And Mr. Hicks left, embarrassed....

Ditmar knew what he wanted. Of the mill he was the absolute master, familiar with every process, carrying constantly in his mind how many spindles, how many looms were at work; and if anything untoward happened, becoming aware of it by what seemed to Janet a subconscious process, sending for the superintendent of the department: for Mr. Orcutt, perhaps, whose office was across the hall—a tall, lean, spectacled man of fifty who looked like a schoolmaster.

Ditmar knew exactly what he wanted. He was the complete authority in the mill, aware of every process, always keeping track of how many spindles and looms were in operation. If something went wrong, he seemed to sense it instinctively, prompting him to call for the department superintendent—maybe Mr. Orcutt, whose office was across the hall. Mr. Orcutt was a tall, skinny man in his fifties, wearing glasses, and he looked a lot like a schoolteacher.

“Orcutt, what's the matter with the opener in Cooney's room?”

“Orcutt, what's wrong with the opener in Cooney's room?”

“Why, the blower's out of order.”

“Wow, the blower isn't working.”

“Well, whose fault is it?”....

“Well, whose fault is that?”

He knew every watchman and foreman in the mill, and many of the second hands. The old workers, men and women who had been in the Chippering employ through good and bad times for years, had a place in his affections, but toward the labour force in general his attitude was impersonal. The mill had to be run, and people to be got to run it. With him, first and last and always it was the mill, and little by little what had been for Janet a heterogeneous mass of machinery and human beings became unified and personified in Claude Ditmar. It was odd how the essence and quality of that great building had changed for her; how the very roaring of the looms, as she drew near the canal in the mornings, had ceased to be sinister and depressing, but bore now a burden like a great battle song to excite and inspire, to remind her that she had been snatched as by a miracle from the commonplace. And all this was a function of Ditmar.

He knew every watchman and foreman in the mill, along with many of the second hands. The long-time workers, both men and women who had been with Chippering through thick and thin for years, held a special place in his heart, but he was generally indifferent towards the labor force as a whole. The mill had to operate, and people were needed to keep it running. For him, it was always about the mill first and foremost, and little by little, what had been for Janet a jumbled crowd of machines and people became unified and embodied in Claude Ditmar. It was strange how the essence and character of that massive building had shifted for her; how the loud clattering of the looms, as she approached the canal in the mornings, had stopped feeling ominous and taxing, and now resonated like a grand battle anthem to motivate and uplift her, reminding her that she had been miraculously pulled away from the ordinary. And all this was because of Ditmar.

Life had become portentous. And she was troubled by no qualms of logic, but gloried, womanlike, in her lack of it. She did not ask herself why she had deliberately enlarged upon Miss Ottway's duties, invaded debatable ground in part inevitably personal, flung herself with such abandon into the enterprise of his life's passion, at the same time maintaining a deceptive attitude of detachment, half deceiving herself that it was zeal for the work by which she was actuated. In her soul she knew better. She was really pouring fuel on the flames. She read him, up to a certain point—as far as was necessary; and beneath his attempts at self-control she was conscious of a dynamic desire that betrayed itself in many acts and signs,—as when he brushed against her; and occasionally when he gave evidence with his subordinates of a certain shortness of temper unusual with him she experienced a vaguely alarming but delicious thrill of power. And this, of all men, was the great Mr. Ditmar! Was she in love with him? That question did not trouble her either. She continued to experience in his presence waves of antagonism and attraction, revealing to her depths and possibilities of her nature that frightened while they fascinated. It never occurred to her to desist. That craving in her for high adventure was not to be denied.

Life had become heavy with meaning. She wasn’t troubled by any logical doubts but reveled, as women often do, in that lack of reasoning. She didn’t question why she had chosen to elaborate on Miss Ottway’s responsibilities, stepped into uncertain, partly personal territory, and thrown herself into the pursuit of his life's passion while pretending to be detached, half-convincing herself that it was just her enthusiasm for the work driving her. Deep down, she knew better. She was really adding fuel to the fire. She understood him, to a point—as much as was necessary; and under his efforts to keep himself in check, she sensed a powerful desire that revealed itself in many actions and signs—like when he brushed against her. Occasionally, when he showed signs of unusual irritability with his subordinates, she felt a vaguely alarming yet thrilling sense of power. And this was the great Mr. Ditmar! Was she in love with him? That thought didn’t trouble her either. She continued to feel waves of both resistance and attraction in his presence, exposing parts of her nature that both frightened and fascinated her. It never occurred to her to pull back. That yearning for high adventure within her couldn’t be ignored.

On summer evenings it had been Ditmar's habit when in Hampton to stroll about his lawn, from time to time changing the position of the sprinkler, smoking a cigar, and reflecting pleasantly upon his existence. His house, as he gazed at it against the whitening sky, was an eminently satisfactory abode, his wife was dead, his children gave him no trouble; he felt a glow of paternal pride in his son as the boy raced up and down the sidewalk on a bicycle; George was manly, large and strong for his age, and had a domineering way with other boys that gave Ditmar secret pleasure. Of Amy, who was showing a tendency to stoutness, and who had inherited her mother's liking for candy and romances, Ditmar thought scarcely at all: he would glance at her as she lounged, reading, in a chair on the porch, but she did not come within his range of problems. He had, in short, everything to make a reasonable man content, a life nicely compounded of sustenance, pleasure, and business,—business naturally being the greatest of these. He was—though he did not know it—ethically and philosophically right in squaring his morals with his occupation, and his had been the good fortune to live in a world whose codes and conventions had been carefully adjusted to the pursuit of that particular brand of happiness he had made his own. Why, then, in the name of that happiness, of the peace and sanity and pleasurable effort it had brought him, had he allowed and even encouraged the advent of a new element that threatened to destroy the equilibrium achieved? an element refusing to be classified under the head of property, since it involved something he desired and could not buy? A woman who was not property, who resisted the attempt to be turned into property, was an anomaly in Ditmar's universe. He had not, of course, existed for more than forty years without having heard and read of and even encountered in an acquaintance or two the species of sex attraction sentimentally called love that sometimes made fools of men and played havoc with more important affairs, but in his experience it had never interfered with his sanity or his appetite or the Chippering Mill: it had never made his cigars taste bitter; it had never caused a deterioration in the appreciation of what he had achieved and held. But now he was experiencing strange symptoms of an intensity out of all proportion to that of former relations with the other sex. What was most unusual for him, he was alarmed and depressed, at moments irritable. He regretted the capricious and apparently accidental impulse that had made him pretend to tinker with his automobile that day by the canal, that had led him to the incomparable idiocy of getting rid of Miss Ottway and installing the disturber of his peace as his private stenographer.

On summer evenings, Ditmar usually liked to walk around his lawn in Hampton, shifting the sprinkler every now and then while smoking a cigar and enjoying his thoughts about life. His house, framed against the lightening sky, was a very satisfying place to live, especially since his wife had passed away and his children caused him no issues. He felt a sense of pride watching his son race up and down the sidewalk on a bike; George was strong and manly for his age and had a commanding presence among other boys, which made Ditmar feel pleased inside. He hardly thought about Amy, who was starting to gain weight and had taken after her mother with her love for candy and romance novels; he’d glance at her lounging on the porch reading, but she wasn’t part of his concerns. In short, he had everything to keep a reasonable man happy—a life nicely balanced with sustenance, enjoyment, and work, with work being the most important of all. Unbeknownst to him, he was ethically and philosophically justified in aligning his morals with his career, and he was fortunate to live in a world where the rules catered to the type of happiness he had cultivated. So why, in the name of that happiness and the peace, sanity, and enjoyment it brought him, had he allowed and even welcomed a new factor that threatened to upset the balance he had achieved? This factor couldn’t be categorized as property, as it involved something he desired but couldn’t purchase—a woman who was not an object, who resisted being treated as one, was an anomaly in Ditmar's world. Of course, he hadn’t lived for over forty years without hearing, reading about, and even encountering a few instances of the kind of romantic attraction often called love that could sometimes make men act foolishly and mess up more serious matters. But in his experience, it had never interfered with his sanity, his appetite, or the Chippering Mill; it had never soured the taste of his cigars or diminished his appreciation for what he had achieved. Yet now, he was feeling strange symptoms that were far more intense than any past interactions with women. What was most peculiar for him was that he felt alarmed and down, at times even irritable. He regretted the random, seemingly accidental impulse that had made him pretend to fix his car that day by the canal, leading him to the ridiculous decision to let go of Miss Ottway and hire the source of his disruption as his personal secretary.

What the devil was it in her that made him so uncomfortable? When in his office he had difficulty in keeping his mind on matters of import; he would watch her furtively as she went about the room with the lithe and noiseless movements that excited him the more because he suspected beneath her outward and restrained demeanour a fierceness he craved yet feared. He thought of her continually as a panther, a panther he had caught and could not tame; he hadn't even caught her, since she might escape at any time. He took precautions not to alarm her. When she brushed against him he trembled. Continually she baffled and puzzled him, and he never could tell of what she was thinking. She represented a whole set of new and undetermined values for which he had no precedents, and unlike every woman he had known—including his wife—she had an integrity of her own, seemingly beyond the reach of all influences economic and social. All the more exasperating, therefore, was a propinquity creating an intimacy without substance, or without the substance he craved for she had magically become for him a sort of enveloping, protecting atmosphere. In an astonishingly brief time he had fallen into the habit of talking things over with her; naturally not affairs of the first importance, but matters such as the economy of his time: when, for instance, it was most convenient for him to go to Boston; and he would find that she had telephoned, without being told, to the office there when to expect him, to his chauffeur to be on hand. He never had to tell her a thing twice, nor did she interrupt—as Miss Ottway sometimes had done—the processes of his thought. Without realizing it he fell into the habit of listening for the inflections of her voice, and though he had never lacked the power of making decisions, she somehow made these easier for him especially if, a human equation were involved.

What was it about her that made him so uneasy? When he was in his office, he struggled to focus on important matters; he would sneak glances at her as she moved around the room with graceful, silent motions that only excited him more because he suspected there was a fierce intensity beneath her calm exterior that he both desired and feared. He constantly thought of her as a panther—one he had captured but couldn’t tame; he hadn’t even really captured her since she could slip away at any moment. He made sure not to startle her. When she brushed against him, he felt a shiver. She constantly baffled and puzzled him, and he could never figure out what she was thinking. She represented a whole new set of undefined values for which he had no prior experience, and unlike every woman he had known—including his wife—she had a depth of integrity that seemed untouched by economic and social influences. This made her presence even more frustrating, creating a closeness that lacked the substance he longed for, as she had somehow become a sort of protective force for him. In an incredibly short time, he had gotten used to discussing things with her; not the most critical issues, but things like how to best manage his time: for example, when it would be most convenient for him to go to Boston. He found that she had called the office there without being told to arrange for his arrival, ensuring his chauffeur would be ready. He never had to repeat himself with her, nor did she interrupt—unlike Miss Ottway, who sometimes disrupted his train of thought. Without even realizing it, he started to listen for her voice’s inflections, and though he had always been capable of making decisions, she somehow made this process easier for him, especially when there were human factors involved.

He had, at least, the consolation—if it were one—of reflecting that his reputation was safe, that there would be no scandal, since two are necessary to make the kind of scandal he had always feared, and Miss Bumpus, apparently, had no intention of being the second party. Yet she was not virtuous, as he had hitherto defined the word. Of this he was sure. No woman who moved about as she did, who had such an effect on him, who had on occasions, though inadvertently, returned the lightning of his glances, whose rare laughter resembled grace notes, and in whose hair was that almost imperceptible kink, could be virtuous. This instinctive conviction inflamed him. For the first time in his life he began to doubt the universal conquering quality of his own charms,—and when such a thing happens to a man like Ditmar he is in danger of hell-fire. He indulged less and less in the convivial meetings and excursions that hitherto had given him relaxation and enjoyment, and if his cronies inquired as to the reasons for his neglect of them he failed to answer with his usual geniality.

He had, at least, the small comfort—if you could call it that—of knowing that his reputation was intact, that there wouldn’t be any scandal since it takes two to create the kind of scandal he had always dreaded, and Miss Bumpus, it seemed, had no plans to be the other half. Yet she wasn’t virtuous, at least not in the way he had always understood the term. He was certain of this. No woman who carried herself the way she did, who had such an effect on him, who had, although unintentionally, returned his intense gazes, whose rare laughter sounded like musical accents, and in whose hair there was that almost undetectable wave, could be virtuous. This gut feeling excited him. For the first time in his life, he started to question the universal appeal of his own charms—and when that happens to a man like Ditmar, he's in serious trouble. He started to participate less and less in the social gatherings and outings that used to bring him relaxation and joy, and when his friends asked why he was avoiding them, he couldn’t respond with his usual warmth.

“Everything going all right up at the mills, Colonel?” he was asked one day by Mr. Madden, the treasurer of a large shoe company, when they met on the marble tiles of the hall in their Boston club.

“Is everything going well at the mills, Colonel?” he was asked one day by Mr. Madden, the treasurer of a large shoe company, when they met on the marble tiles of the hall in their Boston club.

“All right. Why?”

“Okay. Why?”

“Well,” replied Madden, conciliatingly, “you seem kind of preoccupied, that's all. I didn't know but what the fifty-four hour bill the legislature's just put through might be worrying you.”

“Well,” replied Madden, trying to be soothing, “you seem a bit distracted, that's all. I thought the fifty-four hour bill that just got passed might be on your mind.”

“We'll handle that situation when the time comes,” said Ditmar. He accepted a gin rickey, but declined rather curtly the suggestion of a little spree over Sunday to a resort on the Cape which formerly he would have found enticing. On another occasion he encountered in the lobby of the Parker House a more intimate friend, Chester Sprole, sallow, self-made, somewhat corpulent, one of those lawyers hail fellows well met in business circles and looked upon askance by the Brahmins of their profession; more than half politician, he had been in Congress, and from time to time was retained by large business interests because of his persuasive gifts with committees of the legislature—though these had been powerless to avert the recent calamity of the women and children's fifty-four hour bill. Mr. Sprole's hair was prematurely white, and the crow's-feet at the corners of his eyes were not the result of legal worries.

“We'll deal with that situation when the time comes,” said Ditmar. He accepted a gin rickey but flatly turned down the idea of a little getaway over the weekend to a resort on the Cape, which he would have found tempting before. At another time, he ran into a closer friend, Chester Sprole, in the lobby of the Parker House. Sprole was pale, self-made, somewhat overweight, one of those lawyers who was friendly in business circles but looked down upon by the elites of their profession; more than half a politician, he had been in Congress, and every now and then was hired by large businesses because of his persuasive skills with legislative committees—though those efforts had failed to prevent the recent disaster of the fifty-four hour bill for women and children. Mr. Sprole's hair was prematurely white, and the crow's-feet at the corners of his eyes weren't from legal stress.

“Hullo, Dit,” he said jovially.

“Hey, Dit,” he said cheerfully.

“Hullo, Ches,” said Ditmar.

“Hey, Ches,” said Ditmar.

“Now you're the very chap I wanted to see. Where have you been keeping yourself lately? Come out to the farm to-night,—same of the boys'll be there.” Mr. Sprole, like many a self-made man, was proud of his farm, though he did not lead a wholly bucolic existence.

“Now you're just the person I wanted to see. Where have you been hanging out lately? Come out to the farm tonight—some of the guys will be there.” Mr. Sprole, like many self-made men, was proud of his farm, even though he didn’t live a completely rural life.

“I can't, Ches,” answered Ditmar. “I've got to go back to Hampton.”

“I can't, Ches,” Ditmar replied. “I have to go back to Hampton.”

This statement Mr. Sprole unwisely accepted as a fiction. He took hold of Ditmar's arm.

This statement Mr. Sprole foolishly accepted as a lie. He grabbed Ditmar's arm.

“A lady—eh—what?”

"A lady—uh—what?"

“I've got to go back to Hampton,” repeated Ditmar, with a suggestion of truculence that took his friend aback. Not for worlds would Mr. Sprole have offended the agent of the Chippering Mill.

“I have to go back to Hampton,” Ditmar said again, sounding a bit aggressive, which surprised his friend. Mr. Sprole would never intentionally upset the representative of the Chippering Mill.

“I was only joking, Claude,” he hastened to explain. Ditmar, somewhat mollified but still dejected, sought the dining-room when the lawyer had gone.

“I was just kidding, Claude,” he quickly clarified. Ditmar, a bit appeased but still downcast, headed to the dining room after the lawyer left.

“All alone to-night, Colonel?” asked the coloured head waiter, obsequiously.

“All alone tonight, Colonel?” asked the Black head waiter, politely.

Ditmar demanded a table in the corner, and consumed a solitary meal.

Ditmar requested a table in the corner and had a meal by himself.

Very naturally Janet was aware of the change in Ditmar, and knew the cause of it. Her feelings were complicated. He, the most important man in Hampton, the self-sufficient, the powerful, the hitherto distant and unattainable head of the vast organization known as the Chippering Mill, of which she was an insignificant unit, at times became for her just a man—a man for whom she had achieved a delicious contempt. And the knowledge that she, if she chose, could sway and dominate him by the mere exercise of that strange feminine force within her was intoxicating and terrifying. She read this in a thousand signs; in his glances; in his movements revealing a desire to touch her; in little things he said, apparently insignificant, yet fraught with meaning; in a constant recurrence of the apologetic attitude—so alien to the Ditmar formerly conceived—of which he had given evidence that day by the canal: and from this attitude emanated, paradoxically, a virile and galvanic current profoundly disturbing. Sometimes when he bent over her she experienced a commingled ecstasy and fear that he would seize her in his arms. Yet the tension was not constant, rising and falling with his moods and struggles, all of which she read—unguessed by him—as easily as a printed page by the gift that dispenses with laborious processes of the intellect. On the other hand, a resentment boiled within her his masculine mind failed to fathom. Stevenson said of John Knox that many women had come to learn from him, but he had never condescended to become a learner in return—a remark more or less applicable to Ditmar. She was, perforce, thrilled that he was virile and wanted her, but because he wanted her clandestinely her pride revolted, divining his fear of scandal and hating him for it like a thoroughbred. To do her justice, marriage never occurred to her. She was not so commonplace.

Very naturally, Janet noticed the change in Ditmar and knew why it was happening. Her feelings were complicated. He was the most important man in Hampton—confident, powerful, and previously distant and unattainable, head of the enormous organization known as the Chippering Mill, of which she was just a small part. At times, he became just a man to her—a man for whom she had developed a satisfying contempt. And the realization that she could, if she wanted, influence and dominate him with that strange feminine force inside her was both intoxicating and frightening. She saw this in a thousand signs: in his glances, in his movements that showed a desire to touch her, in little comments that seemed insignificant but were full of meaning, and in the constant apologetic attitude—so different from the Ditmar she had previously imagined—that he showed that day by the canal. From this attitude came, paradoxically, a strong and invigorating energy that was deeply unsettling. Sometimes when he leaned over her, she felt a mix of ecstasy and fear, worrying that he might pull her into his arms. Yet the intensity of this feeling wasn’t constant; it fluctuated with his moods and inner conflicts, which she interpreted—unnoticed by him—as easily as reading a printed page, thanks to a gift that bypassed tedious intellectual processes. On the flip side, there was a simmering resentment within her that his male mind couldn’t grasp. Stevenson remarked about John Knox that many women learned from him, but he never lowered himself to learn from them—a comment that applied to Ditmar as well. She was, after all, thrilled that he was masculine and desired her, but because he wanted her secretly, her pride rebelled, sensing his fear of scandal and resenting him for it like a thoroughbred. To be fair, marriage never crossed her mind. She wasn’t that ordinary.

There were times, however, when the tension between them would relax, when some incident occurred to focus Ditmar's interest on the enterprise that had absorbed and unified his life, the Chippering Mill. One day in September, for instance, after an absence in New York, he returned to the office late in the afternoon, and she was quick to sense his elation, to recognize in him the restored presence of the quality of elan, of command, of singleness of purpose that had characterized him before she had become his stenographer. At first, as he read his mail, he seemed scarcely conscious of her presence. She stood by the window, awaiting his pleasure, watching the white mist as it rolled over the floor of the river, catching glimpses in vivid, saffron blurs of the lights of the Arundel Mill on the farther shore. Autumn was at hand. Suddenly she heard Ditmar speaking.

There were times when the tension between them would ease, usually when something happened to draw Ditmar's attention back to the work that had consumed and unified his life, the Chippering Mill. One day in September, for example, after a trip to New York, he returned to the office late in the afternoon. She quickly picked up on his excitement, recognizing in him the revived qualities of energy, authority, and focus that had defined him before she became his stenographer. At first, as he went through his mail, he seemed barely aware of her presence. She stood by the window, waiting for him, watching the white mist rolling over the river's surface and catching bright flashes of the lights from the Arundel Mill on the opposite shore. Autumn was approaching. Suddenly, she heard Ditmar speaking.

“Would you mind staying a little while longer this evening, Miss Bumpus?”

“Could you stay a bit longer this evening, Miss Bumpus?”

“Not at all,” she replied, turning.

“Not at all,” she said, turning.

On his face was a smile, almost boyish.

On his face was a smile that looked almost boyish.

“The fact is, I think I've got hold of the biggest single order that ever came into any mill in New England,” he declared.

“The truth is, I think I've landed the biggest single order that’s ever come into any mill in New England,” he declared.

“Oh, I'm glad,” she said quickly.

“Oh, I’m so glad,” she said quickly.

“The cotton cards—?” he demanded.

“The cotton cards—?” he asked.

She knew he referred to the schedules, based on the current prices of cotton, made out in the agent's office and sent in duplicate to the selling house, in Boston. She got them from the shelf; and as he went over them she heard him repeating the names of various goods now become familiar, pongees, poplins, percales and voiles, garbardines and galateas, lawns, organdies, crepes, and Madras shirtings, while he wrote down figures on a sheet of paper. So complete was his absorption in this task that Janet, although she had resented the insinuating pressure of his former attitude toward her, felt a paradoxical sensation of jealousy. Presently, without looking up, he told her to call up the Boston office and ask for Mr. Fraile, the cotton buyer; and she learned from the talk over the telephone though it was mostly about “futures”—that Ditmar had lingered for a conference in Boston on his way back from New York. Afterwards, having dictated two telegrams which she wrote out on her machine, he leaned back in his chair; and though the business for the day was ended, showed a desire to detain her. His mood became communicative.

She knew he was talking about the schedules, based on the current cotton prices, created in the agent's office and sent in duplicate to the selling house in Boston. She got them from the shelf; and as he reviewed them, she heard him repeating the names of various goods that had become familiar: pongees, poplins, percales, and voiles, gabardines and galateas, lawns, organdies, crepes, and Madras shirtings, while he wrote down figures on a sheet of paper. He was so focused on this task that Janet, even though she had resented the subtle pressure of his earlier attitude toward her, felt a strange sense of jealousy. Soon, without looking up, he told her to call the Boston office and ask for Mr. Fraile, the cotton buyer; and from the conversation over the phone, which was mostly about "futures," she learned that Ditmar had stayed in Boston for a conference on his way back from New York. Afterward, having dictated two telegrams that she typed up on her machine, he leaned back in his chair; and even though the day's business was done, he seemed eager to keep her there. His mood became more open.

“I've been on the trail of that order for a month,” he declared. “Of course it isn't my business to get orders, but to manage this mill, and that's enough for one man, God knows. But I heard the Bradlaughs were in the market for these goods, and I told the selling house to lie low, that I'd go after it. I knew I could get away with it, if anybody could. I went to the Bradlaughs and sat down on 'em, I lived with 'em, ate with 'em, brought 'em home at night. I didn't let 'em alone a minute until they handed it over. I wasn't going to give any other mill in New England or any of those southern concerns a chance to walk off with it—not on your life! Why, we have the facilities. There isn't another mill in the country can turn it out in the time they ask, and even we will have to go some to do it. But we'll do it, by George, unless I'm struck by lightning.”

“I've been tracking that order for a month,” he said. “Of course, it's not really my job to secure orders, but to manage this mill, and that's more than enough for one person, believe me. But I heard the Bradlaughs were interested in these goods, so I told the sales team to hold back while I pursued it. I knew I could pull it off if anyone could. I went to the Bradlaughs and got close with them, I lived with them, ate with them, and brought them home at night. I didn't leave them alone for a second until they gave it to me. I wasn't going to let any other mill in New England or any of those southern companies get a shot at it—not a chance! We have the resources. There's no other mill in the country that can produce it in the timeframe they want, and even we will have to push it to make it happen. But we'll do it, I swear, unless I get struck by lightning.”

He leaned forward, hitting the desk with his fist, and Janet, standing beside him, smiled. She had the tempting gift of silence. Forgetting her twinge of jealousy, she was drawn toward him now, and in this mood of boyish exuberance, of self-confidence and pride in his powers and success she liked him better than ever before. She had, for the first time, the curious feeling of being years older than he, yet this did not detract from a new-born admiration.

He leaned forward, pounding the desk with his fist, and Janet, standing next to him, smiled. She had the alluring ability to stay quiet. Putting aside her hint of jealousy, she was attracted to him now, and in this moment of youthful excitement, self-assurance, and pride in his abilities and achievements, she liked him more than ever. For the first time, she felt strangely older than him, yet this only added to her newfound admiration.

“I made this mill, and I'm proud of it,” he went on. “When old Stephen Chippering put me in charge he was losing money, he'd had three agents in four years. The old man knew I had it in me, and I knew it, if I do say it myself. All this union labour talk about shorter hours makes me sick—why, there was a time when I worked ten and twelve hours a day, and I'm man enough to do it yet, if I have to. When the last agent—that was Cort—was sacked I went to Boston on my own hook and tackled the old gentleman—that's the only way to get anywhere. I couldn't bear to see the mill going to scrap, and I told him a thing or two,—I had the facts and the figures. Stephen Chippering was a big man, but he had a streak of obstinacy in him, he was conservative, you bet. I had to get it across to him there was a lot of dead wood in this plant, I had to wake him up to the fact that the twentieth century was here. He had to be shown—he was from Boston, you know—” Ditmar laughed—“but he was all wool and a yard wide, and he liked me and trusted me.

“I built this mill, and I’m proud of it,” he continued. “When old Stephen Chippering put me in charge, he was losing money; he’d gone through three agents in four years. The old man knew I had it in me, and I knew it too, if I may say so. All this talk about union labor wanting shorter hours makes me sick—there was a time when I worked ten to twelve hours a day, and I’m still capable of doing it if I need to. When the last agent—that was Cort—got fired, I went to Boston on my own and confronted the old gentleman—that's the only way to make progress. I couldn’t stand to see the mill go to ruin, so I told him a few things—I had the facts and figures. Stephen Chippering was a significant figure, but he had a stubborn streak in him; he was conservative, that’s for sure. I had to make it clear to him that there was a lot of dead weight in this plant, and I had to wake him up to the fact that the twentieth century was here. He needed to be shown—he was from Boston, you know—” Ditmar laughed—“but he was all wool and a yard wide, and he liked me and trusted me.”

“That was in nineteen hundred. I can remember the interview as well as if it had happened last night—we sat up until two o'clock in the morning in that library of his with the marble busts and the leather-bound books and the double windows looking out over the Charles, where the wind was blowing a gale. And at last he said, 'All right, Claude, go ahead. I'll put you in as agent, and stand behind you.' And by thunder, he did stand behind me. He was quiet, the finest looking old man I ever saw in my life, straight as a ramrod, with a little white goatee and a red, weathered face full of creases, and a skin that looked as if it had been pricked all over with needles—the old Boston sort. They don't seem to turn 'em out any more. Why, I have a picture of him here.”

“That was in 1900. I can remember the interview as clearly as if it happened last night—we stayed up until two in the morning in his library with the marble busts, leather-bound books, and double windows overlooking the Charles, where the wind was howling. And finally, he said, 'All right, Claude, go ahead. I'll put you in as agent and support you.' And by gosh, he really did support me. He was quiet, the best-looking old man I've ever seen, straight as a ramrod, with a little white goatee and a red, weathered face full of wrinkles, and skin that looked like it had been pricked all over with needles—the old Boston type. They don't seem to make them like that anymore. I have a picture of him here.”

He opened a drawer in his desk and drew out a photograph. Janet gazed at it sympathetically.

He opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a photo. Janet looked at it with empathy.

“It doesn't give you any notion of those eyes of his,” Ditmar said, reminiscently. “They looked right through a man's skull, no matter how thick it was. If anything went wrong, I never wasted any time in telling him about it, and I guess it was one reason he liked me. Some of the people up here didn't understand him, kow-towed to him, they were scared of him, and if he thought they had something up their sleeves he looked as if he were going to eat 'em alive. Regular fighting eyes, the kind that get inside of a man and turn the light on. And he sat so still—made you ashamed of yourself. Well, he was a born fighter, went from Harvard into the Rebellion and was left for dead at Seven Oaks, where one of the company found him and saved him. He set that may up for life, and never talked about it, either. See what he wrote on the bottom—'To my friend, Claude Ditmar, Stephen Chippering.' And believe me, when he once called a man a friend he never took it back. I know one thing, I'll never get another friend like him.”

“It doesn't capture the essence of his eyes,” Ditmar said, thoughtfully. “They looked right through a person's skull, no matter how thick it was. If something went wrong, I never hesitated to tell him, and I guess that’s one reason he liked me. Some of the folks up here didn’t get him; they fawned over him, were scared of him, and if he thought they were hiding something, he looked like he was ready to tear them apart. He had intense, fighting eyes, the kind that penetrates a person and lights them up from within. And he sat so still—it made you feel embarrassed about yourself. Well, he was a natural fighter, went from Harvard into the Rebellion and was left for dead at Seven Oaks, where one of the crew found him and saved him. He set that guy up for life and never spoke a word about it. Look at what he wrote on the bottom—'To my friend, Claude Ditmar, Stephen Chippering.' And believe me, once he called someone a friend, he never took it back. I know one thing, I’ll never find another friend like him.”

With a gesture that gave her a new insight into Ditmar, reverently he took the picture from her hand and placed it back in the drawer. She was stirred, almost to tears, and moved away from him a little, as though to lessen by distance the sudden attraction he had begun to exert: yet she lingered, half leaning, half sitting on the corner of the big desk, her head bent toward him, her eyes filled with light. She was wondering whether he could ever love a woman as he loved this man of whom he had spoken, whether he could be as true to a woman. His own attitude seemed never to have been more impersonal, but she had ceased to resent it; something within her whispered that she was the conductor, the inspirer..

With a gesture that gave her new insight into Ditmar, he respectfully took the picture from her hand and placed it back in the drawer. She was moved, almost to tears, and backed away from him a bit, as if to lessen the sudden attraction he had begun to create: yet she lingered, half leaning, half sitting on the corner of the big desk, her head tilted toward him, her eyes shining. She was wondering whether he could ever love a woman as much as he loved the man he had spoken about, whether he could be as loyal to a woman. His attitude seemed to be more impersonal than ever, but she had stopped resenting it; something within her whispered that she was the conductor, the inspirer.

“I wish Stephen Chippering could have lived to see this order,” he exclaimed, “to see the Chippering Mill to-day! I guess he'd be proud of it, I guess he wouldn't regret having put me in as agent.”

“I wish Stephen Chippering could have lived to see this order,” he exclaimed, “to see the Chippering Mill today! I bet he'd be proud of it, and I bet he wouldn't regret making me the agent.”

Janet did not reply. She could not. She sat regarding him intently, and when he raised his eyes and caught her luminous glance, his expression changed, she knew Stephen Chippering had passed from his mind.

Janet didn’t respond. She couldn’t. She sat looking at him intently, and when he looked up and met her bright gaze, his expression shifted; she realized Stephen Chippering was no longer on his mind.

“I hope you like it here,” he said. His voice had become vibrant, ingratiating, he had changed from the master to the suppliant—and yet she was not displeased. Power had suddenly flowed back into her, and with it an exhilarating self-command.

“I hope you like it here,” he said. His voice was lively and charming, shifting from the master to the one seeking favor—and yet she didn’t mind. Power had suddenly returned to her, along with an exciting sense of self-control.

“I do like it,” she answered.

“I do like it,” she replied.

“But you said, when I asked you to be my stenographer, that you didn't care for your work.”

“But you said, when I asked you to be my stenographer, that you didn't like your job.”

“Oh, this is different.”

“Oh, this is new.”

“How?”

“Whaaat?”

“I'm interested, the mill means something to me now you see, I'm not just copying things I don't know anything about.”

“I'm interested; the mill means something to me now, you see. I'm not just mimicking things I don't understand.”

“I'm glad you're interested,” he said, in the same odd, awkward tone. “I've never had any one in the office who did my work as well. Now Miss Ottway was a good stenographer, she was capable, and a fine woman, but she never got the idea, the spirit of the mill in her as you've got it, and she wasn't able to save me trouble, as you do. It's remarkable how you've come to understand, and in such a short time.”

“I'm glad you're interested,” he said in the same strange, uncomfortable tone. “I've never had anyone in the office who did my work as well. Miss Ottway was a good stenographer; she was capable and a great woman, but she never really grasped the idea, the spirit of the mill like you have, and she couldn't save me the trouble that you do. It's impressive how you've come to understand everything in such a short time.”

Janet coloured. She did not look at him, but had risen and begun to straighten out the papers beside her.

Janet blushed. She didn’t look at him, but got up and started organizing the papers next to her.

“There are lots of other things I'd like to understand,” she said.

“There are a lot of other things I’d like to understand,” she said.

“What?” he demanded.

"What?" he asked.

“Well—about the mill. I never thought much about it before, I always hated it,” she cried, dropping the papers and suddenly facing him. “It was just drudgery. But now I want to learn everything, all I can, I'd like to see the machinery.”

“Well—about the mill. I never gave it much thought before; I always hated it,” she exclaimed, dropping the papers and turning to face him. “It was just hard work. But now I want to learn everything I can; I'd really like to see the machinery.”

“I'll take you through myself—to-morrow,” he declared.

“I'll personally take you through tomorrow,” he said.

His evident agitation made her pause. They were alone, the outer office deserted, and the Ditmar she saw now, whom she had summoned up with ridiculous ease by virtue of that mysterious power within her, was no longer the agent of the Chippering Mill, a boy filled with enthusiasm by a business achievement, but a man, the incarnation and expression of masculine desire desire for her. She knew she could compel him, if she chose, to throw caution to the winds.

His obvious agitation made her stop. They were alone; the outer office was empty, and the Ditmar she saw now, whom she had called forth with surprising ease thanks to that mysterious power inside her, was no longer the representative of the Chippering Mill, a young man brimming with excitement over a business success, but a man, the embodiment and expression of male desire for her. She knew she could make him, if she wanted, throw caution aside.

“Oh no!” she exclaimed. She was afraid of him, she shrank from such a conspicuous sign of his favour.

“Oh no!” she shouted. She was scared of him; she pulled away from such an obvious sign of his attention.

“Why not?” he asked.

"Why not?" he asked.

“Because I don't want you to,” she said, and realized, as soon as she had spoken, that her words might imply the existence of a something between them never before hinted at by her. “I'll get Mr. Caldwell to take me through.” She moved toward the door, and turned; though still on fire within, her manner had become demure, repressed. “Did you wish anything more this evening?” she inquired.

“Because I don’t want you to,” she said, and instantly realized, as soon as she spoke, that her words could suggest something between them that she had never hinted at before. “I’ll get Mr. Caldwell to take me through.” She moved toward the door and turned; although she was still burning inside, her demeanor had become modest and controlled. “Did you want anything else this evening?” she asked.

“That's all,” he said, and she saw that he was gripping the arms of his chair....

“That's it,” he said, and she noticed that he was gripping the arms of his chair....





CHAPTER VII

Autumn was at hand. All day it had rained, but now, as night fell and Janet went homeward, the white mist from the river was creeping stealthily over the city, disguising the familiar and sordid landmarks. These had become beautiful, mysterious, somehow appealing. The electric arcs, splotches in the veil, revealed on the Common phantom trees; and in the distance, against the blurred lights from the Warren Street stores skirting the park could be seen phantom vehicles, phantom people moving to and fro. Thus, it seemed to Janet, invaded by a pearly mist was her own soul, in which she walked in wonder,—a mist shot through and through with soft, exhilarating lights half disclosing yet transforming and etherealizing certain landmark's there on which, formerly, she had not cared to gaze. She was thinking of Ditmar as she had left him gripping his chair, as he had dismissed her for the day, curtly, almost savagely. She had wounded and repelled him, and lingering in her was that exquisite touch of fear—a fear now not so much inspired by Ditmar as by the semi-acknowledged recognition of certain tendencies and capacities within herself. Yet she rejoiced in them, she was glad she had hurt Ditmar, she would hurt him again. Still palpitating, she reached the house in Fillmore Street, halting a moment with her hand on the door, knowing her face was flushed, anxious lest her mother or Lise might notice something unusual in her manner. But, when she had slowly mounted the stairs and lighted the gas in the bedroom the sight of her sister's clothes cast over the chairs was proof that Lise had already donned her evening finery and departed. The room was filled with the stale smell of clothes, which Janet detested. She flung open the windows. She took off her hat and swiftly tidied herself, yet the relief she felt at Lise's absence was modified by a sudden, vehement protest against sordidness. Why should she not live by herself amidst clean and tidy surroundings? She had begun to earn enough, and somehow a vista had been opened up—a vista whose end she could not see, alluring, enticing.... In the dining-room, by the cleared table, her father was reading the Banner; her mother appeared in the kitchen door.

Autumn was approaching. It had rained all day, but now, as night fell and Janet headed home, the white mist from the river was quietly creeping over the city, hiding the familiar and grim landmarks. These had turned beautiful, mysterious, and strangely appealing. The electric lights, spots in the fog, revealed ghostly trees in the park; and in the distance, against the hazy glow from the Warren Street shops bordering the park, shadowy vehicles and figures moved back and forth. To Janet, it felt as if her own soul was enveloped in this pearly mist, walking in awe—a mist filled with soft, exhilarating lights that partially revealed yet transformed and etherealized certain landmarks she had previously ignored. She thought of Ditmar as she had left him, gripping his chair, having dismissed her for the day, curtly and almost brutally. She had hurt and pushed him away, and lingering within her was that intense feeling of fear—not so much because of Ditmar, but from the semi-acknowledged recognition of certain tendencies and abilities within herself. Yet she took satisfaction in them; she was glad she had hurt Ditmar and would do it again. Heart still racing, she reached her house on Fillmore Street, pausing with her hand on the door, aware that her face was flushed and nervous that her mother or Lise might notice something off about her. However, when she slowly climbed the stairs and turned on the gas in her bedroom, the sight of her sister's clothes strewn over the chairs confirmed that Lise had already changed into her evening outfit and left. The room was filled with the musty smell of clothing, which Janet hated. She threw open the windows. She took off her hat and quickly tidied herself, but her relief at Lise's absence was dampened by a sudden, strong dislike for the unpleasantness around her. Why shouldn’t she live by herself in a clean and tidy space? She had started earning enough money, and somehow, a new path had opened up—a path whose end she couldn't see, yet it was inviting and enticing.... In the dining room, at the cleared table, her father was reading the Banner; her mother appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“What in the world happened to you, Janet?” she exclaimed.

“What on earth happened to you, Janet?” she said.

“Nothing,” said Janet. “Mr. Ditmar asked me to stay—that was all. He'd been away.”

“Nothing,” said Janet. “Mr. Ditmar asked me to stay—that's it. He'd been away.”

“I was worried, I was going to make your father go down to the mill. I've saved you some supper.”

“I was worried I would have to send your dad down to the mill. I saved you some dinner.”

“I don't want much,” Janet told her, “I'm not hungry.”

“I don't want much,” Janet said to her, “I'm not hungry.”

“I guess you have to work too hard in that new place,” said Hannah, as she brought in the filled plate from the oven.

“I guess you have to work pretty hard at that new place,” said Hannah, as she brought in the filled plate from the oven.

“Well, it seems to agree with her, mother,” declared Edward, who could always be counted on to say the wrong thing with the best of intentions. “I never saw her looking as well—why, I swan, she's getting real pretty!”

“Well, it seems to suit her, mom,” Edward said, who could always be relied on to say the wrong thing with the best intentions. “I’ve never seen her look as good—wow, she's getting really pretty!”

Hannah darted at him a glance, but restrained herself, and Janet reddened as she tried to eat the beans placed before her. The pork had browned and hardened at the edges, the gravy had spread, a crust covered the potatoes. When her father resumed his reading of the Banner and her mother went back into the kitchen she began to speculate rather resentfully and yet excitedly why it was that this adventure with a man, with Ditmar, made her look better, feel better,—more alive. She was too honest to disguise from herself that it was an adventure, a high one, fraught with all sorts of possibilities, dangers, and delights. Her promotion had been merely incidental. Both her mother and father, did they know the true circumstances,—that Mr. Ditmar desired her, was perhaps in love with her—would be disturbed. Undoubtedly they would have believed that she could “take care” of herself. She knew that matters could not go on as they were, that she would either have to leave Mr. Ditmar or—and here she baulked at being logical. She had no intention of leaving him: to remain, according to the notions of her parents, would be wrong. Why was it that doing wrong agreed with her, energized her, made her more alert, cleverer, keying up her faculties? turned life from a dull affair into a momentous one? To abandon Ditmar would be to slump back into the humdrum, into something from which she had magically been emancipated, symbolized by the home in which she sat; by the red-checked tablecloth, the ugly metal lamp, the cherry chairs with the frayed seats, the horsehair sofa from which the stuffing protruded, the tawdry pillow with its colours, once gay, that Lise had bought at a bargain at the Bagatelle.... The wooden clock with the round face and quaint landscape below—the family's most cherished heirloom—though long familiar, was not so bad; but the two yellowed engravings on the wall offended her. They had been wedding presents to Edward's father. One represented a stupid German peasant woman holding a baby, and standing in front of a thatched cottage; its companion was a sylvan scene in which certain wooden rustics were supposed to be enjoying themselves. Between the two, and dotted with flyspecks, hung an insurance calendar on which was a huge head of a lady, florid, fluffy-haired, flirtatious. Lise thought her beautiful.

Hannah shot him a quick glance but held back, while Janet blushed as she tried to eat the beans in front of her. The pork was browned and tough around the edges, the gravy had spread, and a crust coated the potatoes. When her dad went back to reading the Banner and her mom retreated to the kitchen, she started to think, a bit resentfully but also excitedly, about why this adventure with a man, with Ditmar, made her feel better, more alive. She was too honest to deny to herself that it was an adventure, a big one, full of all kinds of possibilities, risks, and thrills. Her promotion had just been a side note. If her parents knew the real situation—that Mr. Ditmar wanted her, maybe even loved her—they would be worried. They would probably think she could "take care" of herself. She understood that things couldn’t stay the same; she would either have to leave Mr. Ditmar or—this is where she hesitated to be logical. She had no plans to leave him; staying, according to her parents' views, would be wrong. Why was it that doing something wrong felt right to her, energized her, made her sharper, turned her life from boring into something significant? Leaving Ditmar would mean falling back into the mundane, into a life from which she had somehow been set free, symbolized by the home she was in, by the red-checked tablecloth, the ugly metal lamp, the cherry chairs with their frayed seats, the horsehair sofa with stuffing sticking out, the cheap pillow once colorful that Lise had bought on sale at the Bagatelle.... The wooden clock with the round face and charming scene below—the family's most treasured heirloom—though long familiar, wasn’t so bad; but the two yellowed prints on the wall annoyed her. They had been wedding gifts to Edward's father. One showed a dull German peasant woman with a baby in front of a thatched cottage; the other was a landscape with some wooden country folk who were supposed to be having fun. In between them, speckled with fly droppings, hung an insurance calendar featuring a large image of a lady—florid, with fluffy hair, and flirtatious. Lise thought she was beautiful.

The room was ugly. She had long known that, but tonight the realization came to her that what she chiefly resented in it was the note it proclaimed—the note of a mute acquiescence, without protest or struggle, in what life might send. It reflected accurately the attitude of her parents, particularly of her father. With an odd sense of detachment, of critical remoteness and contempt she glanced at him as he sat stupidly absorbed in his newspaper, his face puckered, his lips pursed, and Ditmar rose before her—Ditmar, the embodiment of an indomitableness that refused to be beaten and crushed. She thought of the story he had told her, how by self-assertion and persistence he had become agent of the Chippering Mill, how he had convinced Mr. Stephen Chippering of his ability. She could not think of the mill as belonging to the Chipperings and the other stockholders, but to Ditmar, who had shaped it into an expression of himself, since it was his ideal. And now it seemed that he had made it hers also. She regretted having repulsed him, pushed her plate away from her, and rose.

The room was ugly. She had known that for a long time, but tonight she realized that what she mainly resented about it was the message it sent—the message of silent acceptance, without protest or struggle, in whatever life threw her way. It mirrored exactly how her parents, especially her father, felt. With a strange sense of detachment and critical disdain, she glanced at him as he sat mindlessly absorbed in his newspaper, his face wrinkled and lips pursed. In her mind, Ditmar emerged—Ditmar, the personification of an unyielding spirit that wouldn’t be defeated or crushed. She remembered the story he had told her about how he became the agent of the Chippering Mill through self-assertion and perseverance, how he had convinced Mr. Stephen Chippering of his capabilities. She couldn’t see the mill as belonging to the Chipperings and the other stockholders; it felt like Ditmar’s, since he had molded it into something that represented him, as it was his dream. Now it seemed he had made it hers as well. She regretted having pushed him away, moved her plate aside, and stood up.

“You haven't eaten anything,” said Hannah, who had come into the room. “Where are you going?”

“You haven't eaten anything,” Hannah said as she walked into the room. “Where are you headed?”

“Out—to Eda's,” Janet answered....

“Out—to Eda’s,” Janet replied....

“It's late,” Hannah objected. But Janet departed. Instead of going to Eda's she walked alone, seeking the quieter streets that her thoughts might flow undisturbed. At ten o'clock, when she returned, the light was out in the diningroom, her sister had not come in, and she began slowly to undress, pausing every now and then to sit on the bed and dream; once she surprised herself gazing into the glass with a rapt expression that was almost a smile. What was it about her that had attracted Ditmar? No other man had ever noticed it. She had never thought herself good looking, and now—it was astonishing!—she seemed to have changed, and she saw with pride that her arms and neck were shapely, that her dark hair fell down in a cascade over her white shoulders to her waist. She caressed it; it was fine. When she looked again, a radiancy seemed to envelop her. She braided her hair slowly, in two long plaits, looking shyly in the mirror and always seeing that radiancy....

“It's late,” Hannah protested. But Janet left anyway. Instead of going to Eda's, she walked alone, looking for the quieter streets where her thoughts could flow without interruption. When she got back at ten o'clock, the light was off in the dining room, her sister hadn’t come home, and she started to undress slowly, taking breaks to sit on the bed and daydream; once, she caught herself staring into the mirror with a look that was almost a smile. What was it about her that had drawn Ditmar in? No other man had ever noticed her like that. She had never thought of herself as attractive, and now—it was incredible!—she felt like she had changed, and she saw with pride that her arms and neck were shapely, that her dark hair cascaded over her fair shoulders down to her waist. She touched it; it felt so nice. When she looked again, a glow seemed to surround her. She carefully braided her hair into two long plaits, glancing shyly in the mirror and always seeing that glow...

Suddenly it occurred to her with a shock that she was doing exactly what she had despised Lise for doing, and leaving the mirror she hurried her toilet, put out the light, and got into bed. For a long time, however, she remained wakeful, turning first on one side and then on the other, trying to banish from her mind the episode that had excited her. But always it came back again. She saw Ditmar before her, virile, vital, electric with desire. At last she fell asleep.

Suddenly, it hit her that she was doing exactly what she had looked down on Lise for, and leaving the mirror, she rushed to finish getting ready, turned off the light, and climbed into bed. For a long time, though, she couldn’t sleep, tossing from one side to the other, trying to push out of her mind the incident that had stirred her up. But it always returned. She envisioned Ditmar in front of her, strong, vibrant, charged with desire. Eventually, she fell asleep.

Gradually she was awakened by something penetrating her consciousness, something insistent, pervasive, unescapable, which in drowsiness she could not define. The gas was burning, Lise had come in, and was moving peculiarly about the room. Janet watched her. She stood in front of the bureau, just as Janet herself had done, her hands at her throat. At last she let them fall, her head turning slowly, as though drawn, by some irresistible, hypnotic power, and their eyes met. Lise's were filmed, like those of a dog whose head is being stroked, expressing a luxuriant dreaminess uncomprehending, passionate.

Slowly, she was brought to consciousness by something that was pushing into her awareness, something persistent, all-encompassing, and impossible to ignore, which she couldn’t quite identify in her haze. The gas was burning, Lise had entered the room, and was moving oddly around the space. Janet observed her. She stood in front of the dresser, just like Janet had, her hands at her throat. Finally, she let them drop, her head turning slowly as if pulled by some irresistible, hypnotic force, and their eyes locked. Lise's eyes were glazed, like a dog enjoying a gentle petting, filled with a lush, dreamy incomprehension, full of passion.

“Say, did I wake you?” she asked. “I did my best not to make any noise—honest to God.”

“Hey, did I wake you?” she asked. “I tried really hard not to make any noise—swear to God.”

“It wasn't the noise that woke me up,” said Janet.

“It wasn't the noise that woke me up,” Janet said.

“It couldn't have been.”

"It can't have been."

“You've been drinking!” said Janet, slowly.

“You've been drinking!” Janet said slowly.

Lise giggled.

Lise laughed.

“What's it to you, angel face!” she inquired. “Quiet down, now, and go bye-bye.”

“What's it to you, pretty boy!” she asked. “Calm down now, and go to sleep.”

Janet sprang from the bed, seized her by the shoulders, and shook her. She was limp. She began to whimper.

Janet jumped out of bed, grabbed her by the shoulders, and shook her. She was unresponsive. She started to whimper.

“Cut it out—leave me go. It ain't nothing to you what I do—I just had a highball.”

“Cut it out—let me go. It doesn't matter to you what I do—I just had a drink.”

Janet released her and drew back.

Janet let go of her and stepped back.

“I just had a highball—honest to God!”

“I just had a highball—swear to God!”

“Don't say that again!” whispered Janet, fiercely.

“Don't say that again!” Janet hissed, fiercely.

“Oh, very well. For God's sake, go to bed and leave me alone—I can take care of myself, I guess—I ain't nutty enough to hit the booze. But I ain't like you—I've got to have a little fun to keep alive.”

“Oh, fine. For goodness' sake, go to bed and leave me alone—I can take care of myself, I guess—I’m not crazy enough to start drinking. But I’m not like you—I need to have a little fun to feel alive.”

“A little fun!” Janet exclaimed. The phrase struck her sharply. A little fun to keep alive!

“A little fun!” Janet exclaimed. The phrase hit her hard. A little fun to stay alive!

With that same peculiar, cautious movement she had observed, Lise approached a chair, and sank into it,—jerking her head in the direction of the room where Hannah and Edward slept.

With the same strange, careful movement she had noticed, Lise walked over to a chair and sat down, tilting her head towards the room where Hannah and Edward were sleeping.

“D'you want to wake 'em up? Is that your game?” she asked, and began to fumble at her belt. Overcoming with an effort a disgust amounting to nausea, Janet approached her sister again, little by little undressing her, and finally getting her into bed, when she immediately fell into a profound slumber. Janet, too, got into bed, but sleep was impossible: the odour lurked like a foul spirit in the darkness, mingling with the stagnant, damp air that came in at the open window, fairly saturating her with horror: it seemed the very essence of degradation. But as she lay on the edge of the bed, shrinking from contamination, in the throes of excitement inspired by an unnamed fear, she grew hot, she could feel and almost hear the pounding of her heart. She rose, felt around in the clammy darkness for her wrapper and slippers, gained the door, crept through the dark hall to the dining-room, where she stealthily lit the lamp; darkness had become a terror. A cockroach scurried across the linoleum. The room was warm and close, it reeked with the smell of stale food, but at least she found relief from that other odour. She sank down on the sofa.

“Do you want to wake them up? Is that what you're trying to do?” she asked, starting to fumble with her belt. Fighting against a nausea-inducing disgust, Janet approached her sister again, slowly undressing her, and finally getting her into bed, where she immediately fell into a deep sleep. Janet got into bed as well, but sleep was impossible: the smell lingered like a foul spirit in the darkness, mixing with the stagnant, damp air coming in through the open window, overwhelming her with horror—it felt like the very essence of degradation. As she lay on the edge of the bed, recoiling from the contamination, caught up in a fear she couldn't name, she grew hot and could feel her heart pounding almost audibly. She got up, fumbled in the clammy darkness for her robe and slippers, made her way to the door, crept through the dark hallway to the dining room, where she quietly lit the lamp; the darkness had turned into a source of terror. A cockroach scurried across the linoleum. The room was warm and stuffy, and it smelled like stale food, but at least she got some relief from that other odor. She sank down onto the sofa.

Her sister was drunk. That in itself was terrible enough, yet it was not the drunkenness alone that had sickened Janet, but the suggestion of something else. Where had Lise been? In whose company had she become drunk? Of late, in contrast to a former communicativeness, Lise had been singularly secretive as to her companions, and the manner in which her evenings were spent; and she, Janet, had grown too self-absorbed to be curious. Lise, with her shopgirl's cynical knowledge of life and its pitfalls and the high valuation at which she held her charms, had seemed secure from danger; but Janet recalled her discouragement, her threat to leave the Bagatelle. Since then there had been something furtive about her. Now, because that odour of alcohol Lise exhaled had destroyed in Janet the sense of exhilaration, of life on a higher plane she had begun to feel, and filled her with degradation, she hated Lise, felt for her sister no strain of pity. A proof, had she recognized it, that immorality is not a matter of laws and decrees, but of individual emotions. A few hours before she had seen nothing wrong in her relationship with Ditmar: now she beheld him selfish, ruthless, pursuing her for one end, his own gratification. As a man, he had become an enemy. Ditmar was like all other men who exploited her sex without compunction, but the thought that she was like Lise, asleep in a drunken stupor, that their cases differed only in degree, was insupportable.

Her sister was drunk. That alone was bad enough, but it wasn't just the drunkenness that made Janet feel sick; it was the possibility of something more. Where had Lise been? Who had she been with when she got drunk? Recently, unlike before when she was open, Lise had become really secretive about her friends and how she spent her evenings; and Janet had been too wrapped up in her own life to care. Lise, with her cynical understanding of life and its traps, and her high opinion of her own looks, had seemed safe from trouble; but Janet remembered her disappointment and her threat to quit the Bagatelle. Since then, Lise had been acting shady. Now, the smell of alcohol Lise carried had taken away Janet's feeling of excitement, the sense of living on a higher level she had just started to experience, and replaced it with a feeling of shame. She hated Lise and felt no pity for her sister. It was a sign, if she had recognized it, that immorality isn’t about laws or rules, but about personal feelings. A few hours ago, she hadn't seen anything wrong with her relationship with Ditmar; now she saw him as selfish and ruthless, only after his own satisfaction. As a man, he had turned into an enemy. Ditmar was like all the other men who took advantage of her sexuality without regret, but the idea that she was like Lise, passed out in a drunken haze, and that their situations were only different in severity, was unbearable.

At last she fell asleep from sheer weariness, to dream she was with Ditmar at some place in the country under spreading trees, Silliston, perhaps—Silliston Common, cleverly disguised: nor was she quite sure, always, that the man was Ditmar; he had a way of changing, of resembling the man she had met in Silliston whom she had mistaken for a carpenter. He was pleading with her, in his voice was the peculiar vibrancy that thrilled her, that summoned some answering thing out of the depths of her, and she felt herself yielding with a strange ecstasy in which were mingled joy and terror. The terror was conquering the joy, and suddenly he stood transformed before her eyes, caricatured, become a shrieking monster from whom she sought in agony to escape.... In this paralysis of fear she awoke, staring with wide eyes at the flickering flame of the lamp, to a world filled with excruciating sound—the siren of the Chippering Mill! She lay trembling with the horror of the dream-spell upon her, still more than half convinced that the siren was Ditmar's voice, his true expression. He was waiting to devour her. Would the sound never end?...

At last, she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion, dreaming that she was with Ditmar in some rural spot underneath sprawling trees, possibly Silliston—Silliston Common, cleverly disguised. She wasn't always certain that the man was Ditmar; he had a way of changing, resembling the guy she had encountered in Silliston whom she had mistaken for a carpenter. He was pleading with her, and his voice had a unique vibrancy that thrilled her, awakening something deep within her, and she felt herself giving in to a strange ecstasy filled with joy and terror. The fear was overtaking the joy, and suddenly he transformed before her eyes, becoming a grotesque, shrieking monster from whom she desperately sought to escape. In that paralyzing fear, she woke up, staring wide-eyed at the flickering flame of the lamp, confronted with a world filled with agonizing sound—the siren of the Chippering Mill! She lay trembling, haunted by the terror of her dream, still more than half convinced that the siren was Ditmar's voice, his true self. He was waiting to consume her. Would the sound never stop?

Then, remembering where she was, alarmed lest her mother might come in and find her there, she left the sofa, turned out the sputtering lamp, and ran into the bedroom. Rain was splashing on the bricks of the passage-way outside, the shadows of the night still lurked in the corners; by the grey light she gazed at Lise, who breathed loudly and stirred uneasily, her mouth open, her lips parched. Janet touched her.

Then, realizing where she was and worried that her mother might come in and find her there, she got off the sofa, turned off the flickering lamp, and dashed into the bedroom. Rain was splattering against the bricks of the hallway outside, and the shadows of the night still hung in the corners; in the dim light, she looked at Lise, who was breathing heavily and tossing restlessly, her mouth open and her lips dry. Janet reached out to touch her.

“Lise—get up!” she said. “It's time to get up.” She shook her.

“Lise—wake up!” she said. “It's time to get up.” She shook her.

“Leave me alone—can't you?”

"Can you just leave me alone?"

“It's time to get up. The whistle has sounded.”

“It's time to get up. The alarm has gone off.”

Lise heavily opened her eyes. They were bloodshot.

Lise opened her eyes wide. They were bloodshot.

“I don't want to get up. I won't get up.”

“I don't want to get up. I'm not getting up.”

“But you must,” insisted Janet, tightening her hold. “You've got to—you've got to eat breakfast and go to work.”

“But you have to,” insisted Janet, tightening her grip. “You need to—you need to eat breakfast and get to work.”

“I don't want any breakfast, I ain't going to work any more.”

"I don't want any breakfast; I'm not going to work anymore."

A gust of wind blew inward the cheap lace curtains, and the physical effect of it emphasized the chill that struck Janet's heart. She got up and closed the window, lit the gas, and returning to the bed, shook Lise again.

A gust of wind blew in through the cheap lace curtains, and the chilly air intensified the cold feeling that hit Janet's heart. She got up and closed the window, turned on the gas, and went back to the bed to shake Lise again.

“Listen,” she said, “if you don't get up I'll tell mother what happened last night.”

“Hey,” she said, “if you don’t get up, I’ll tell Mom what happened last night.”

“Say, you wouldn't—!” exclaimed Lise, angrily.

“Seriously, you wouldn't—!” exclaimed Lise, angrily.

“Get up!” Janet commanded, and watched her rather anxiously, uncertain as to the after effects of drunkenness. But Lise got up. She sat on the edge of the bed and yawned, putting her hand to her forehead.

“Get up!” Janet ordered, watching her with some anxiety, unsure about the aftermath of the drinking. But Lise got up. She sat on the edge of the bed and yawned, putting her hand to her forehead.

“I've sure got a head on me,” she remarked.

“I’ve definitely got my thoughts in order,” she remarked.

Janet was silent, angrier than ever, shocked that tragedy, degradation, could be accepted thus circumstantially. Lise proceeded to put up her hair. She seemed to be mistress of herself; only tired, gaping frequently. Once she remarked:—“I don't see the good of getting nutty over a highball.”

Janet was quiet, angrier than ever, shocked that tragedy and degradation could be accepted so casually. Lise started to put up her hair. She seemed in control of herself, just tired and yawning often. At one point, she said, “I don’t see the point of getting wasted over a drink.”

Seeing that Janet was not to be led into controversy, she grew morose.

Seeing that Janet was not going to get into an argument, she became withdrawn.

Breakfast in Fillmore Street, never a lively meal, was more dismal than usual that morning, eaten to the accompaniment of slopping water from the roofs on the pavement of the passage. The indisposition of Lise passed unobserved by both Hannah and Edward; and at twenty minutes to eight the two girls, with rubbers and umbrellas, left the house together, though it was Janet's custom to depart earlier, since she had farther to go. Lise, suspicious, maintained an obstinate silence, keeping close to the curb. They reached the corner by the provision shop with the pink and orange chromos of jellies in the window.

Breakfast on Fillmore Street, which was never an exciting meal, felt even more grim that morning, overshadowed by the sound of water sloshing off the roofs onto the pavement. Lise's illness went unnoticed by both Hannah and Edward; at twenty minutes to eight, the two girls left the house together with their rain boots and umbrellas, even though Janet usually left earlier since she had a longer distance to travel. Lise, feeling uneasy, stubbornly stayed silent, walking closely along the curb. They reached the corner by the grocery store with the pink and orange pictures of jellies in the window.

“Lise, has anything happened to you?” demanded Janet suddenly. “I want you to tell me.”

“Lise, has something happened to you?” Janet suddenly asked. “I need you to tell me.”

“Anything happened—what do you mean? Anything happened?”

“Something happened—what do you mean? Something happened?”

“You know very well what I mean.”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“Well, suppose something has happened?” Lise's reply was pert, defiant. “What's it to you? If anything's happened, it's happened to me—hasn't it?”

“Well, what if something has happened?” Lise's response was sharp and challenging. “What’s it to you? If something happened, it happened to me—right?”

Janet approached her.

Janet walked up to her.

“What are you trying to do?” said Lise. “Push me into the gutter?”

“What are you trying to do?” Lise asked. “Are you trying to push me into the gutter?”

“I guess you're there already,” said Janet.

“I guess you're already there,” said Janet.

Lise was roused to a sudden pitch of fury. She turned on Janet and thrust her back.

Lise was suddenly filled with rage. She faced Janet and pushed her away.

“Well, if I am who's going to blame me?” she cried. “If you had to work all day in that hole, standing on your feet, picked on by yaps for six a week, I guess you wouldn't talk virtuous, either. It's easy for you to shoot off your mouth, you've got a soft snap with Ditmar.”

“Well, if I am, who's going to blame me?” she yelled. “If you had to work all day in that dump, standing on your feet, picked on by jerks for six a week, I guess you wouldn't act all high and mighty, either. It's easy for you to run your mouth; you've got it easy with Ditmar.”

Janet was outraged. She could not restrain her anger.

Janet was furious. She couldn't hold back her anger.

“How dare you say that?” she demanded.

“How dare you say that?” she asked.

Lise was cowed.

Lise was intimidated.

“Well, you drove me to it—you make me mad enough to say anything. Just because I went to Gruber's with Neva Lorrie and a couple of gentlemen—they were gentlemen all right, as much gentlemen as Ditmar—you come at me and tell me I'm all to the bad.” She began to sob. “I'm as straight as you are. How was I to know the highball was stiff? Maybe I was tired—anyhow, it put me on the queer, and everything in the joint began to tango 'round me—and Neva came home with me.”

“Well, you pushed me to this—you make me so mad I could say anything. Just because I went to Gruber's with Neva Lorrie and a couple of guys—they were definitely gentlemen, just as much as Ditmar—you confront me and say I'm no good.” She started to cry. “I'm as decent as you are. How was I supposed to know the highball was strong? Maybe I was tired—anyway, it put me in a weird mood, and everything in the place started to swirl around me—and Neva came home with me.”

Janet felt a surge of relief, in which were mingled anxiety and resentment: relief because she was convinced that Lise was telling the truth, anxiety because she feared for Lise's future, resentment because Ditmar had been mentioned. Still, what she had feared most had not come to pass. Lise left her abruptly, darting down a street that led to a back entrance of the Bagatelle, and Janet pursued her way. Where, she wondered, would it all end? Lise had escaped so far, but drunkenness was an ominous sign. And “gentlemen”? What kind of gentlemen had taken her sister to Gruber's? Would Ditmar do that sort of thing if he had a chance?

Janet felt a wave of relief mixed with anxiety and resentment: relief because she was sure Lise was being honest, anxiety because she worried about Lise's future, and resentment because Ditmar had been brought up. Still, what she had dreaded the most hadn't happened. Lise left her suddenly, rushing down a street that led to a back entrance of the Bagatelle, and Janet continued on her way. Where would it all end, she wondered? Lise had managed to escape so far, but her drunkenness was a troubling sign. And “gentlemen”? What kind of gentlemen had taken her sister to Gruber's? Would Ditmar actually do something like that if he had the chance?

The pavement in front of the company boarding-houses by the canal was plastered with sodden leaves whipped from the maples by the driving rain in the night. The sky above the mills was sepia. White lights were burning in the loom rooms. When she reached the vestibule Simmons, the watchman, informed her that Mr. Ditmar had already been there, and left for Boston.

The sidewalk in front of the company boarding houses by the canal was covered in wet leaves that had been blown off the maples by the heavy rain overnight. The sky above the mills was a brownish hue. Bright white lights were on in the loom rooms. When she got to the entrance, Simmons, the watchman, told her that Mr. Ditmar had already been there and had left for Boston.

Janet did not like to acknowledge to herself her disappointment on learning that Ditmar had gone to Boston. She knew he had had no such intention the night before; an accumulated mail and many matters demanding decisions were awaiting him; and his sudden departure seemed an act directed personally against her, in the nature of a retaliation, since she had offended and repulsed him. Through Lise's degrading act she had arrived at the conclusion that all adventure and consequent suffering had to do with Man—a conviction peculiarly maddening to such temperaments as Janet's. Therefore she interpreted her suffering in terms of Ditmar, she had looked forward to tormenting him again, and by departing he had deliberately balked and cheated her. The rain fell ceaselessly out of black skies, night seemed ever ready to descend on the river, a darkness—according to young Mr. Caldwell—due not to the clouds alone, but to forest fires many hundreds of miles away, in Canada. As the day wore on, however, her anger gradually gave place to an extreme weariness and depression, and yet she dreaded going home, inventing things for herself to do; arranging and rearranging Ditmar's papers that he might have less trouble in sorting them, putting those uppermost which she thought he would deem the most important. Perhaps he would come in, late! In a world of impending chaos the brilliantly lighted office was a tiny refuge to which she clung. At last she put on her coat and rubbers, faring forth reluctantly into the wet.

Janet didn’t want to admit to herself how disappointed she felt when she found out Ditmar had gone to Boston. She knew he hadn’t planned on that the night before; he had a pile of mail and many decisions waiting for him, and his sudden departure felt personal, like a retaliation for how she had offended and pushed him away. After Lise’s humiliating act, she concluded that all adventure and suffering were tied to men—a realization that drove her particularly mad. As a result, she saw her pain in terms of Ditmar; she had anticipated the chance to provoke him again, and by leaving, he had intentionally thwarted her. The rain fell continuously from the dark skies, and night seemed ready to fall over the river, a darkness that young Mr. Caldwell said was not just from the clouds, but also from forest fires hundreds of miles away in Canada. However, as the day went on, her anger slowly shifted to extreme weariness and sadness, and she dreaded going home, inventing tasks to keep herself busy—organizing Ditmar's papers so he’d have an easier time sorting through them, putting the ones she thought were most important on top. Maybe he would come in late! In a world that felt chaotic, the brightly lit office was a small refuge she clung to. Finally, she put on her coat and rubber boots and reluctantly stepped out into the rain.

At first when she entered the bedroom she thought it empty, though the gas was burning, and them she saw Lise lying face downward on the bed. For a moment she stood still, then closed the door softly.

At first, when she walked into the bedroom, she thought it was empty, even though the gas was on. Then she noticed Lise lying face down on the bed. For a moment, she stood frozen, then gently closed the door.

“Lise,” she said.

"Lise," she said.

“What?”

"What?"

Janet sat down on the bed, putting out her hand. Unconsciously she began to stroke Lise's hand, and presently it turned and tightened on her own.

Janet sat on the bed and reached out her hand. Without realizing it, she started to stroke Lise's hand, and soon Lise turned her hand and grasped Janet's firmly.

“Lise,” she said, “I understand why you—” she could not bring herself to pronounce the words “got drunk,”—“I understand why you did it. I oughtn't to have talked to you that way. But it was terrible to wake up and see you.”

“Lise,” she said, “I get why you—” she couldn’t bring herself to say “got drunk,”—“I understand why you did it. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. But it was awful to wake up and see you.”

For awhile Lise did not reply. Then she raised herself, feeling her hair with an involuntary gesture, regarding her sister with a bewildered look, her face puckered. Her eyes burned, and under them were black shadows.

For a while, Lise didn’t respond. Then she straightened up, instinctively touching her hair, looking at her sister with a confused expression, her face wrinkled. Her eyes were intense, and there were dark circles beneath them.

“How do you mean—you understand?” she asked slowly. “You never hit the booze.”

“How do you mean—you understand?” she asked slowly. “You never drink.”

Even Lise's language, which ordinarily offended her, failed to change her sudden impassioned and repentant mood. She was astonished at herself for this sudden softening, since she did not really love Lise, and all day she had hated her, wished never to see her again.

Even Lise's words, which usually bothered her, didn’t change her sudden passionate and regretful mood. She was surprised at herself for this sudden change of heart, since she didn’t actually love Lise, and all day she had disliked her, wishing she would never see her again.

“No, but I can understand how it would be to want to,” Janet said. “Lise, I guess we're searching—both of us for something we'll never find.”

“No, but I get why someone would want to,” Janet said. “Lise, I think we’re both searching for something we’ll never find.”

Lise stared at her with a contracted, puzzled expression, as of a person awaking from sleep, all of whose faculties are being strained toward comprehension.

Lise stared at her with a confused, furrowed brow, like someone just waking up, straining to understand what was happening.

“What do you mean?” she demanded. “You and me? You're all right—you've got no kick coming.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “You and me? You're fine—you have nothing to complain about.”

“Life is hard, it's hard on girls like us—we want things we can't
have.” Janet was at a loss to express herself.

 “Well, it ain't any pipe dream,” Lise agreed. Her glance turned
involuntarily toward the picture of the Olympian dinner party pinned on
the wall. “Swells have a good time,” she added.
“Life is tough, especially for girls like us—we want things we can’t have.” Janet struggled to find the words.

“Well, it’s not just some fantasy,” Lise agreed. Her gaze unintentionally drifted to the picture of the fancy dinner party pinned to the wall. “Rich people have a great time,” she added.

“Maybe they pay for it, too,” said Janet.

“Maybe they pay for it, too,” Janet said.

“I wouldn't holler about paying—it's paying and not getting the goods,” declared Lise.

“I wouldn't shout about paying—it's paying and not getting what you ordered,” declared Lise.

“You'll pay, and you won't get it. That kind of life is—hell,” Janet cried.

“You'll pay, and you won't get it. That kind of life is—hell,” Janet cried.

Self-centered as Lise was, absorbed in her own trouble and present physical discomfort, this unaccustomed word from her sister and the vehemence with which it was spoken surprised and frightened her, brought home to her some hint of the terror in Janet's soul.

Self-absorbed as Lise was, caught up in her own issues and physical discomfort, this unexpected word from her sister and the intensity with which it was said shocked and scared her, making her realize just a glimpse of the fear in Janet's heart.

“Me for the water wagon,” she said.

“Me for the water wagon,” she said.

Janet was not convinced. She had hoped to discover the identity of the man who had taken Lise to Gruber's, but she did not attempt to continue the conversation. She rose and took off her hat.

Janet wasn't convinced. She had hoped to find out who the man was that took Lise to Gruber's, but she didn't try to keep the conversation going. She got up and took off her hat.

“Why don't you go to bed?” she asked. “I'll tell mother you have a headache and bring in your supper.”

“Why don’t you go to bed?” she asked. “I’ll tell mom you have a headache and bring your dinner in.”

“Well, I don't care if I do,” replied Lise, gratefully.

“Well, I don’t care if I do,” replied Lise, with gratitude.

Perhaps the most disconcerting characteristic of that complex affair, the human organism, is the lack of continuity of its moods. The soul, so called, is as sensitive to physical conditions as a barometer: affected by lack of sleep, by smells and sounds, by food, by the weather—whether a day be sapphire or obsidian. And the resolutions arising from one mood are thwarted by the actions of the next. Janet had observed this phenomenon, and sometimes, when it troubled her, she thought herself the most inconsistent and vacillating of creatures. She had resolved, far instance, before she fell asleep, to leave the Chippering Mill, to banish Ditmar from her life, to get a position in Boston, whence she could send some of her wages home: and in the morning, as she made her way to the office, the determination gave her a sense of peace and unity. But the northwest wind was blowing. It had chased away the mist and the clouds, the smoke from Canada. The sun shone with a high brilliancy, the elms of the Common cast sharp, black shadow-patterns on the pavements, and when she reached the office and looked out of his window she saw the blue river covered with quicksilver waves chasing one another across the current. Ditmar had not yet returned to Hampton. About ten o'clock, as she was copying out some figures for Mr. Price, young Mr. Caldwell approached her. He had a Boston newspaper in his hand.

Perhaps the most unsettling thing about that complicated situation, the human body, is how inconsistent its moods are. The so-called soul is as sensitive to physical conditions as a barometer: influenced by lack of sleep, by smells and sounds, by food, and by the weather—whether the day is bright and clear or dark and dreary. The decisions made in one mood are undermined by the next. Janet had noticed this pattern, and sometimes, when it bothered her, she thought of herself as the most inconsistent and indecisive person. For example, before she fell asleep, she decided to leave the Chippering Mill, to get Ditmar out of her life, to find a job in Boston, from where she could send some of her earnings home: and in the morning, as she walked to the office, that determination gave her a sense of peace and wholeness. But the northwest wind was blowing. It had cleared away the mist and clouds, the smoke from Canada. The sun was shining brilliantly, the elms in the Common cast sharp, black shadow patterns on the sidewalks, and when she reached the office and looked out the window, she saw the blue river covered with shimmering waves chasing each other across the current. Ditmar had not yet returned to Hampton. Around ten o'clock, while she was copying some figures for Mr. Price, young Mr. Caldwell came up to her. He was holding a Boston newspaper.

“Have you seen this article about Mr. Ditmar?” he asked.

“Have you seen this article about Mr. Ditmar?” he asked.

“About Mr. Ditmar? No.”

“Mr. Ditmar? Nah.”

“It's quite a send-off for the Colonel,” said Caldwell, who was wont at times to use the title facetiously. “Listen; 'One of the most notable figures in the Textile industry of the United States, Claude Ditmar, Agent of the Chippering Mill.'” Caldwell spread out the page and pointed to a picture. “There he is, as large as life.”

“It's quite a send-off for the Colonel,” said Caldwell, who sometimes used the title jokingly. “Listen; 'One of the most notable figures in the textile industry of the United States, Claude Ditmar, Agent of the Chippering Mill.'” Caldwell spread out the page and pointed to a picture. “There he is, as big as life.”

A little larger than life, Janet thought. Ditmar was one of those men who, as the expression goes, “take” well, a valuable asset in semi-public careers; and as he stood in the sunlight on the steps of the building where they had “snap-shotted” him he appeared even more massive, forceful, and preponderant than she had known him. Beholding him thus set forth and praised in a public print, he seemed suddenly to have been distantly removed from her, to have reacquired at a bound the dizzy importance he had possessed for her before she became his stenographer. She found it impossible to realize that this was the Ditmar who had pursued and desired her; at times supplicating, apologetic, abject; and again revealed by the light in his eyes and the trembling of his hand as the sinister and ruthless predatory male from whom—since the revelation in her sister Lise she had determined to flee, and whom she had persuaded herself she despised. He was a bigger man than she had thought, and as she read rapidly down the column the fascination that crept over her was mingled with disquieting doubt of her own powers: it was now difficult to believe she had dominated or could ever dominate this self-sufficient, successful person, the list of whose achievements and qualities was so alluringly set forth by an interviewer who himself had fallen a victim.

A little bigger than life, Janet thought. Ditmar was one of those guys who, as the saying goes, “take” well, a valuable trait in semi-public careers; and as he stood in the sunlight on the steps of the building where they had “snap-shotted” him, he seemed even more massive, assertive, and dominant than she had known him to be. Seeing him so publicly displayed and praised, he suddenly appeared to be distantly removed from her, having regained the overwhelming importance he once held for her before she became his stenographer. She found it hard to remember that this was the Ditmar who had pursued and wanted her; at times begging, apologetic, and submissive; and again brought to light by the glimmer in his eyes and the shake of his hand as the menacing and relentless predatory man from whom—ever since her sister Lise's revelation—she had resolved to escape, and whom she had convinced herself she despised. He was a bigger man than she had thought, and as she quickly read through the column, the fascination that washed over her was mixed with unsettling doubt about her own abilities: it was now hard to believe she had ever controlled or could ever control this independent, successful man, the list of whose achievements and qualities was so enticingly laid out by an interviewer who had himself fallen prey.

The article carried the implication that the modern, practical, American business man was the highest type as yet evolved by civilization: and Ditmar, referred to as “a wizard of the textile industry,” was emphatically one who had earned the gratitude of the grand old Commonwealth. By the efforts of such sons she continued to maintain her commanding position among her sister states. Prominent among the qualities contributing to his success was open-mindedness, “a willingness to be shown,” to scrap machinery when his competitors still clung to older methods. The Chippering Mill had never had a serious strike,—indication of an ability to deal with labour; and Mr. Ditmar's views on labour followed: if his people had a grievance, let them come to him, and settle it between them. No unions. He had consistently refused to recognize them. There was mention of the Bradlaugh order as being the largest commission ever given to a single mill, a reference to the excitement and speculation it had aroused in trade circles. Claude Ditmar's ability to put it through was unquestioned; one had only to look at him,—tenacity, forcefulness, executiveness were written all over him.... In addition, the article contained much material of an autobiographical nature that must—Janet thought—have been supplied by Ditmar himself, whose modesty had evidently shrunk from the cruder self-eulogy of an interview. But she recognized several characteristic phrases.

The article suggested that the modern, practical American businessman was the best type that civilization had produced so far, and Ditmar, called “a wizard of the textile industry,” was definitely someone who had earned the gratitude of the grand old Commonwealth. Thanks to efforts from people like him, she continued to hold her strong position among her sister states. Among the qualities that contributed to his success was open-mindedness, “a willingness to be shown,” and the ability to change out machinery while his competitors still relied on older methods. The Chippering Mill had never experienced a serious strike, which showed an ability to handle labor relations; Mr. Ditmar's views on labor were clear: if his workers had a problem, they should come to him and resolve it directly. No unions. He had consistently refused to acknowledge them. There was mention of the Bradlaugh order being the largest commission ever given to a single mill, which highlighted the excitement and speculation it generated in trade circles. Claude Ditmar's capability to see it through was undeniable; one only had to look at him to see tenacity, forcefulness, and decisiveness written all over him. Additionally, the article included a lot of autobiographical material that Janet thought must have been provided by Ditmar himself, whose modesty seemed to shy away from the more blatant self-promotion typical of an interview. But she recognized several characteristic phrases.

Caldwell, watching her as she read, was suddenly fascinated. During a trip abroad, while still an undergraduate, he had once seen the face of an actress, a really good Parisian actress, light up in that way; and it had revealed to him, in a flash, the meaning of enthusiasm. Now Janet became vivid for him. There must be something unusual in a person whose feelings could be so intense, whose emotions rang so true. He was not unsophisticated. He had sometimes wondered why Ditmar had promoted her, though acknowledging her ability. He admired Ditmar, but had no illusions about him. Harvard, and birth in a social stratum where emphasis is superfluous, enabled him to smile at the reporter's exuberance; and he was the more drawn toward her to see on Janet's flushed face the hint of a smile as she looked up at him when she had finished.

Caldwell, watching her as she read, suddenly found himself captivated. During a trip abroad, when he was still in college, he had once seen a talented Parisian actress’s face light up in that same way, and in that moment, he understood what true enthusiasm meant. Now, Janet seemed vibrant to him. There had to be something special about someone whose feelings were so intense and whose emotions felt so genuine. He wasn't naive. He had sometimes questioned why Ditmar had promoted her, even though he recognized her talent. He admired Ditmar but wasn’t under any illusions about him. His Harvard background and upbringing in a social class where pretension was unnecessary allowed him to smirk at the reporter's enthusiasm; he felt even more drawn to her when he saw a hint of a smile on Janet's flushed face as she looked up at him after finishing.

“The Colonel hypnotized that reporter,” he said, as he took the paper; and her laugh, despite its little tremor, betrayed in her an unsuspected, humorous sense of proportion. “Well, I'll take off my hat to him,” Caldwell went on. “He is a wonder, he's got the mill right up to capacity in a week. He's agreed to deliver those goods to the Bradlaughs by the first of April, you know, and Holster, of the Clarendon, swears it can't be done, he says Ditmar's crazy. Well, I stand to lose twenty-five dollars on him.”

“The Colonel hypnotized that reporter,” he said, as he took the paper; and her laugh, despite its little tremor, revealed an unexpected, humorous sense of proportion. “Well, I'll give him credit for that,” Caldwell continued. “He’s impressive, he’s got the mill running at full capacity in just a week. He’s promised to deliver those goods to the Bradlaughs by the first of April, and Holster from the Clarendon insists it can’t be done, he says Ditmar's lost his mind. Well, I’m on the hook for twenty-five dollars if he can’t pull it off.”

This loyalty pleased Janet, it had the strange effect of reviving loyalty in her. She liked this evidence of Dick Caldwell's confidence. He was a self-contained and industrious young man, with crisp curly hair, cordial and friendly yet never intimate with the other employer; liked by them—but it was tacitly understood his footing differed from theirs. He was a cousin of the Chipperings, and destined for rapid promotion. He went away every Saturday, it was known that he spent Sundays and holidays in delightful places, to return reddened and tanned; and though he never spoke about these excursions, and put on no airs of superiority, there was that in his manner and even in the cut of his well-worn suits proclaiming him as belonging to a sphere not theirs, to a category of fortunate beings whose stumbles are not fatal, who are sustained from above. Even Ditmar was not of these.

This loyalty made Janet happy; it strangely revived her own sense of loyalty. She appreciated the way Dick Caldwell showed his confidence. He was a self-sufficient and hardworking young man, with tight curly hair, friendly and approachable, yet never too close with the other employees; they liked him, but it was clear his position was different from theirs. He was a cousin of the Chipperings and was on track for quick advancement. He left every Saturday, and it was known he spent Sundays and holidays in amazing places, returning sunburned and tanned; even though he never talked about these trips and didn’t act superior, there was something in his demeanor and even in the style of his well-worn suits that marked him as belonging to a different circle, one of fortunate people whose missteps aren't deadly, who have support from above. Even Ditmar wasn’t one of them.

“I've just been showing a lot of highbrows through the mill,” he told Janet. “They asked questions enough to swamp a professor of economics.”

“I've just been showing a bunch of highbrows around,” he told Janet. “They asked so many questions it could drown a professor of economics.”

And Janet was suddenly impelled to ask:—“Will you take me through sometime, Mr. Caldwell?”

And Janet suddenly felt compelled to ask, “Will you show me around sometime, Mr. Caldwell?”

“You've never been through?” he exclaimed. “Why, we'll go now, if you can spare the time.”

“You've never been?!” he said, excitedly. “Well, let's go right now, if you have the time.”

Her face had become scarlet.

Her face turned bright red.

“Don't tell Mr. Ditmar,” she begged. “You see—he wanted to take me himself.”

“Don’t tell Mr. Ditmar,” she pleaded. “You see—he wanted to take me himself.”

“Not a word,” Caldwell promised as they left the office together and went downstairs to the strong iron doors that led to the Cotton Department. The showing through of occasional visitors had grown rather tiresome; but now his curiosity and interest were aroused, he was conscious of a keen stimulation when he glanced at Janet's face. Its illumination perplexed him. The effect was that of a picture obscurely hung and hitherto scarcely noticed on which the light had suddenly been turned. It glowed with a strange and disturbing radiance....

“Not a word,” Caldwell promised as they left the office together and went downstairs to the heavy iron doors that led to the Cotton Department. The occasional visitors had become pretty tiresome; but now his curiosity and interest were piqued, and he felt a strong excitement when he looked at Janet's face. Its brightness confused him. It was like a painting that had been dimly lit and previously hardly noticed, and now the light had suddenly been turned on. It shone with a strange and unsettling glow....

As for Janet, she was as one brought suddenly to the realization of a miracle in whose presence she had lived for many years and never before suspected; the miracle of machinery, of the triumph of man over nature. In the brief space of an hour she beheld the dirty bales flung off the freight cars on the sidings transformed into delicate fabrics wound from the looms; cotton that only last summer, perhaps, while she sat typewriting at her window, had been growing in the fields of the South. She had seen it torn by the bale-breakers, blown into the openers, loosened, cleansed, and dried; taken up by the lappers, pressed into batting, and passed on to the carding machines, to emerge like a wisp of white smoke in a sliver and coil automatically in a can. Once more it was flattened into a lap, given to a comber that felt out its fibres, removing with superhuman precision those for the finer fabric too short, thrusting it forth again in another filmy sliver ready for the drawing frames. Six of these gossamer ropes were taken up, and again six. Then came the Blubbers and the roving frames, twisting and winding, the while maintaining the most delicate of tensions lest the rope break, running the strands together into a thread constantly growing stronger and finer, until it was ready for spinning.

As for Janet, she suddenly realized she had been living in the presence of a miracle she had never noticed before: the miracle of machinery and humanity's triumph over nature. In just an hour, she watched as dirty bales thrown off the freight cars on the sidings were transformed into delicate fabrics spun from the looms; cotton that had perhaps been growing in the fields of the South just last summer while she typed at her window. She saw it being torn apart by the bale-breakers, blown into the openers, loosened, cleaned, and dried; then picked up by the lappers, pressed into batting, and sent to the carding machines, emerging like a wisp of white smoke and automatically coiling into a can. It was flattened into a lap, handed to a comber that meticulously sorted its fibers, removing with incredible precision the ones too short for the finer fabric, then pushing out another delicate sliver ready for the drawing frames. Six of these gossamer strands were taken up, then another six. Next came the Blubbers and the roving frames, twisting and winding, while keeping the most delicate tension to prevent the rope from breaking, as the strands were combined into a thread that grew stronger and finer until it was ready for spinning.

Caldwell stood close to her, shouting his explanations in her ear, while she strained to follow them. But she was bewildered and entranced by the marvellous swiftness, accuracy and ease with which each of the complex machines, fed by human hands, performed its function. These human hands were swift, too, as when they thrust the bobbins of roving on the ring-spinning frames to be twisted into yarn. She saw a woman, in the space of an instant, mend a broken thread. Women and boys were here, doffer boys to lift off the full bobbins of yarn with one hand and set on the empty bobbins with the other: while skilled workmen, alert for the first sign of trouble, followed up and down in its travels the long frame of the mule-spinner. After the spinning, the heavy spools of yarn were carried to a beam-warper, standing alone like a huge spider's web, where hundreds of threads were stretched symmetrically and wound evenly, side by side, on a large cylinder, forming the warp of the fabric to be woven on the loom. First, however, this warp must be stiffened or “slashed” in starch and tallow, dried over heated drums, and finally wound around one great beam from which the multitude of threads are taken up, one by one, and slipped through the eyes of the loom harnesses by women who sit all day under the north windows overlooking the canal—the “drawers-in” of whom Ditmar had spoken. Then the harnesses are put on the loom, the threads attached to the cylinder on which the cloth is to be wound. The looms absorbed and fascinated Janet above all else. It seemed as if she would never tire of watching the rhythmic rise and fall of the harnesses,—each rapid movement making a V in the warp, within the angle of which the tiny shuttles darted to and fro, to and fro, carrying the thread that filled the cloth with a swiftness so great the eye could scarcely follow it; to be caught on the other side when the angle closed, and flung back, and back again! And in the elaborate patterns not one, but several harnesses were used, each awaiting its turn for the impulse bidding it rise and fall!... Abruptly, as she gazed, one of the machines halted, a weaver hurried up, searched the warp for the broken thread, tied it, and started the loom again.

Caldwell stood close to her, shouting his explanations in her ear, while she struggled to keep up. But she was both confused and captivated by the amazing speed, precision, and ease with which each complex machine, operated by human hands, did its job. These human hands were quick, too, as they pushed the bobbins of roving onto the ring-spinning frames to be twisted into yarn. In an instant, she saw a woman mend a broken thread. Women and boys were all around, doffer boys lifting off the full bobbins of yarn with one hand and placing the empty ones with the other; skilled workers, on the lookout for the first hint of trouble, moved up and down beside the long mule-spinner frame. After spinning, the heavy spools of yarn were taken to a beam-warper, standing alone like a giant spider's web, where hundreds of threads were evenly stretched and wound side by side on a large cylinder, forming the warp of the fabric to be woven on the loom. First, though, this warp had to be stiffened or “slashed” in starch and tallow, dried over heated drums, and finally wound around a large beam from which multiple threads are pulled up, one by one, and slipped through the eyes of the loom harnesses by women who sat all day under the north windows overlooking the canal—the “drawers-in” Ditmar had mentioned. Then the harnesses are placed on the loom, the threads connected to the cylinder where the cloth will be wound. The looms fascinated Janet above all else. It seemed like she would never get tired of watching the rhythmic rise and fall of the harnesses—each quick movement creating a V in the warp, in which the tiny shuttles darted back and forth, moving the thread that filled the cloth with such speed that the eye could hardly follow it; caught on the other side when the angle closed, then thrown back, and back again! And in the intricate patterns, not just one, but several harnesses were used, each waiting for its turn to rise and fall! Suddenly, as she watched, one of the machines stopped, a weaver rushed over, searched the warp for the broken thread, tied it, and restarted the loom.

“That's intelligent of it,” said Caldwell, in her ear. But she could only nod in reply.

“That's smart of it,” said Caldwell, in her ear. But she could only nod in response.

The noise in the weaving rooms was deafening, the heat oppressive. She began to wonder how these men and women, boys and girls bore the strain all day long. She had never thought much about them before save to compare vaguely their drudgery with that from which now she had been emancipated; but she began to feel a new respect, a new concern, a new curiosity and interest as she watched them passing from place to place with indifference between the whirling belts, up and down the narrow aisles, flanked on either side by that bewildering, clattering machinery whose polished surfaces continually caught and flung back the light of the electric bulbs on the ceiling. How was it possible to live for hours at a time in this bedlam without losing presence of mind and thrusting hand or body in the wrong place, or becoming deaf? She had never before realized what mill work meant, though she had read of the accidents. But these people—even the children—seemed oblivious to the din and the danger, intent on their tasks, unconscious of the presence of a visitor, save occasionally when she caught a swift glance from a woman or girl a glance, perhaps, of envy or even of hostility. The dark, foreign faces glowed, and instantly grew dull again, and then she was aware of lurking terrors, despite her exaltation, her sense now of belonging to another world, a world somehow associated with Ditmar. Was it not he who had lifted her farther above all this? Was it not by grace of her association with him she was there, a spectator of the toil beneath? Yet the terror persisted. She, presently, would step out of the noise, the oppressive moist heat of the drawing and spinning rooms, the constant, remorseless menace of whirling wheels and cogs and belts. But they?... She drew closer to Caldwell's side.

The noise in the weaving rooms was deafening, and the heat was stifling. She started to wonder how these men and women, boys and girls managed to handle the strain all day long. She had never thought much about them before, except to vaguely compare their hard work to what she had now escaped from; but she began to feel a new respect, a new concern, a newfound curiosity and interest as she watched them moving from place to place, indifferent to the whirling belts, navigating up and down the narrow aisles, flanked on both sides by the bewildering, clattering machinery whose polished surfaces kept catching and reflecting the light from the electric bulbs overhead. How was it possible to live for hours in this chaos without losing their senses or accidentally putting a hand or body in harm's way, or going deaf? She had never realized what working in a mill really meant, even though she had read about the accidents. But these workers—even the children—seemed oblivious to the noise and danger, focused on their tasks, unaware of her presence, except for the occasional quick glance from a woman or girl—a look that might have held envy or even hostility. The dark, foreign faces would light up for a moment, then grow dull again, and she sensed there were hidden fears, despite her excitement and her feeling of being part of another world, a world somehow connected to Ditmar. Wasn't he the one who had lifted her far above all of this? Wasn't it because of her association with him that she was there, witnessing the toil below? Yet the fear remained. Soon, she would step away from the noise, the stifling heat of the drawing and spinning rooms, the constant, relentless threat from whirling wheels and cogs and belts. But what about them?... She moved closer to Caldwell's side.

“I never knew—” she said. “It must be hard to work here.”

“I never knew—” she said. “It must be tough to work here.”

He smiled at her, reassuringly.

He smiled at her reassuringly.

“Oh, they don't mind it,” he replied. “It's like a health resort compared to the conditions most of them live in at home. Why, there's plenty of ventilation here, and you've got to have a certain amount of heat and moisture, because when cotton is cold and dry it can't be drawn or spin, and when it's hot and dry the electricity is troublesome. If you think this moisture is bad you ought to see a mill with the old vapour-pot system with the steam shooting out into the room. Look here!” He led Janet to the apparatus in which the pure air is forced through wet cloths, removing the dust, explaining how the ventilation and humidity were regulated automatically, how the temperature of the room was controlled by a thermostat.

“Oh, they don’t mind it,” he replied. “It’s like a health resort compared to where most of them live at home. There’s plenty of ventilation here, and you need a certain level of heat and moisture because when cotton is cold and dry, it can’t be processed or spun, and when it’s hot and dry, the electricity acts up. If you think this moisture is bad, you should see a mill with the old steam system, with steam shooting out into the room. Look at this!” He led Janet to the equipment that forces clean air through wet cloths, removing the dust, explaining how the ventilation and humidity were automatically regulated and how the room temperature was controlled by a thermostat.

“There isn't an agent in the country who's more concerned about the welfare of his operatives than Mr. Ditmar. He's made a study of it, he's spent thousands of dollars, and as soon as these machines became practical he put 'em in. The other day when I was going through the room one of these shuttles flew off, as they sometimes do when the looms are running at high speed. A woman was pretty badly hurt. Ditmar came right down.”

“There isn't an agent in the country who's more worried about the well-being of his workers than Mr. Ditmar. He's researched it extensively, spent thousands of dollars, and as soon as these machines became practical, he installed them. The other day when I was in the room, one of these shuttles shot off unexpectedly, which happens sometimes when the looms are running fast. A woman got hurt pretty badly. Ditmar came down immediately.”

“He really cares about them,” said Janet. She liked Caldwell's praise of Ditmar, yet she spoke a little doubtfully.

“He really cares about them,” Janet said. She appreciated Caldwell's praise of Ditmar, but she spoke with a hint of doubt.

“Of course he cares. But it's common sense to make 'em as comfortable and happy as possible—isn't it? He won't stand for being held up, and he'd be stiff enough if it came to a strike. I don't blame him for that. Do you?”

“Of course he cares. But it's common sense to make them as comfortable and happy as possible, right? He won't tolerate any delays, and he'd be pretty tough if it came to a strike. I don’t blame him for that. Do you?”

Janet was wondering how ruthless Ditmar could be if his will were crossed.... They had left the room with its noise and heat behind them and were descending the worn, oaken treads of the spiral stairway of a neighbouring tower. Janet shivered a little, and her face seemed almost feverish as she turned to Caldwell and thanked him.

Janet was thinking about how ruthless Ditmar could be if someone went against his wishes.... They had left the noisy, hot room behind and were going down the worn, wooden steps of the spiral stairway in a nearby tower. Janet shivered slightly, and her face looked almost feverish as she turned to Caldwell and thanked him.

“Oh, it was a pleasure, Miss Bumpus,” he declared. “And sometime, when you want to see the Print Works or the Worsted Department, let me know—I'm your man. And—I won't mention it.”

“Oh, it was a pleasure, Miss Bumpus,” he said. “And whenever you want to check out the Print Works or the Worsted Department, just let me know—I'm your guy. And—I won't say a word about it.”

She did not answer. As they made their way back to the office he glanced at her covertly, astonished at the emotional effect in her their tour had produced. Though not of an inflammable temperament, he himself was stirred, and it was she who, unaccountably, had stirred him: suggested, in these processes he saw every day, and in which he was indeed interested, something deeper, more significant and human than he had guessed, and which he was unable to define....

She didn’t answer. As they walked back to the office, he stole a glance at her, surprised by the emotional impact their tour had on her. Although he wasn’t usually easily affected, he found himself moved, and it was her—somehow—who had sparked this reaction in him. In the processes he observed every day, which he was genuinely interested in, she suggested something deeper, more meaningful, and more human than he had realized, though he couldn’t quite articulate what it was...

Janet herself did not know why this intimate view of the mills, of the people who worked in them had so greatly moved her. All day she thought of them. And the distant throb of the machinery she felt when her typewriter was silent meant something to her now—she could not say what. When she found herself listening for it, her heart beat faster. She had lived and worked beside it, and it had not existed for her, it had had no meaning, the mills might have been empty. She had, indeed, many, many times seen these men and women, boys and girls trooping away from work, she had strolled through the quarters in which they lived, speculated on the lands from which they had come; but she had never really thought of them as human beings, individuals, with problems and joys and sorrows and hopes and fears like her own. Some such discovery was borne in upon her. And always an essential function of this revelation, looming larger than ever in her consciousness, was Ditmar. It was for Ditmar they toiled, in Ditmar's hands were their very existences, his was the stupendous responsibility and power.

Janet herself didn’t know why this close-up view of the mills and the people who worked there had affected her so deeply. All day, she thought about them. Now, the distant hum of the machinery that she felt when her typewriter was silent meant something to her—she couldn’t quite express what. When she found herself listening for it, her heart raced. She had lived and worked next to it, but it hadn’t meant anything to her; it could have been empty. Many times, she had seen these men and women, boys and girls leaving work; she had walked through the neighborhoods where they lived and wondered about the places they had come from. But she had never really considered them as individuals with their own struggles, joys, sorrows, hopes, and fears, just like hers. Some kind of realization hit her. And at the center of this revelation, larger than ever in her mind, was Ditmar. They worked for Ditmar; their very lives were in his hands, and he held tremendous responsibility and power.

As the afternoon wore, desire to see these toilers once more took possession of her. From the white cupola perched above the huge mass of the Clarendon Mill across the water sounded the single stroke of a bell, and suddenly the air was pulsing with sounds flung back and forth by the walls lining the river. Seizing her hat and coat, she ran down the stairs and through the vestibule and along the track by the canal to the great gates, which her father was in the act of unbarring. She took a stand beside him, by the gatehouse. Edward showed a mild surprise.

As the afternoon went on, she felt a strong urge to see the workers again. From the white dome perched above the massive Clarendon Mill across the water, the soft sound of a bell ringing echoed, and suddenly the air was alive with sounds bouncing off the walls by the river. Grabbing her hat and coat, she dashed down the stairs, through the entrance, and along the path by the canal to the big gates, which her father was just unlocking. She stood next to him by the gatehouse. Edward looked mildly surprised.

“There ain't anything troubling you—is there, Janet?” he asked.

“There isn't anything bothering you, is there, Janet?” he asked.

She shook her head.

She shook her head.

“I wanted to see the hands come out,” she said.

"I wanted to see the hands come out," she said.

Sometimes, as at present, he found Janet's whims unaccountable.

Sometimes, like now, he found Janet's quirks unpredictable.

“Well, I should have presumed you'd know what they look like by this time. You'd better stay right close to me, they're a rough lot, with no respect or consideration for decent folks—these foreigners. I never could see why the government lets 'em all come over here.” He put on the word “foreigners” an emphasis of contempt and indignation, pathetic because of its peculiar note of futility. Janet paid no attention to him. Her ears were strained to catch the rumble of feet descending the tower stairs, her eyes to see the vanguard as it came from the doorway—the first tricklings of a flood that instantly filled the yard and swept onward and outward, irresistibly, through the narrow gorge of the gates. Impossible to realize this as the force which, when distributed over the great spaces of the mills, performed an orderly and useful task! for it was now a turbid and lawless torrent unconscious of its swollen powers, menacing, breathlessly exciting to behold. It seemed to Janet indeed a torrent as she clung to the side of the gatehouse as one might cling to the steep bank of a mountain brook after a cloud-burst. And suddenly she had plunged into it. The desire was absurd, perhaps, but not to be denied,—the desire to mix with it, feel it, be submerged and swept away by it, losing all sense of identity. She heard her father call after her, faintly—the thought crossed her mind that his appeals were always faint,—and then she was being carried along the canal, eastward, the pressure relaxing somewhat when the draining of the side streets began.

“Well, I should have figured you'd know what they look like by now. You'd better stay close to me; they're a rough crowd, with no respect or consideration for decent people—these foreigners. I never understood why the government allows them all to come here.” He put extra emphasis on the word “foreigners,” sounding contemptuous and outraged, which was almost sad because of its futile tone. Janet ignored him. She strained to hear the sound of footsteps descending the tower stairs and kept her eyes on the doorway, waiting for the first wave to appear—the initial trickle of a flood that quickly filled the yard and surged onward and outward, unstoppable, through the narrow gates. It was hard to believe that this chaotic force, when spread over the vast spaces of the mills, performed a structured and productive task! Now it was a turbulent and unruly torrent, unaware of its own power, threatening yet thrilling to watch. To Janet, it felt like a torrent as she clung to the side of the gatehouse, much like someone would cling to the steep edge of a mountain stream after a heavy rain. And suddenly, she jumped right into it. The urge was ridiculous, sure, but it couldn’t be ignored—the desire to blend in, to feel it, to be overwhelmed and carried away by it, losing all sense of who she was. She heard her father calling after her, faintly—the thought crossed her mind that his calls were always faint—and then she was swept along the canal, heading eastward, the pressure easing slightly as the side streets began to drain.

She remembered, oddly, the Stanley Street bridge where the many streams met and mingled, streams from the Arundel, the Patuxent, the Arlington and the Clarendon; and, eager to prolong and intensify her sensations, hurried thither, reaching it at last and thrusting her way outward until she had gained the middle, where she stood grasping the rail. The great structure was a-tremble from the assault, its footpaths and its roadway overrun with workers, dodging between trolleys and trucks,—some darting nimbly, dinner pails in hand, along the steel girders. Doffer boys romped and whistled, young girls in jaunty, Faber Street clothes and flowered hats, linked to one another for protection, chewed gum and joked, but for the most part these workers were silent, the apathy of their faces making a strange contrast with the hurry, hurry of their feet and set intentness of their bodies as they sped homeward to the tenements. And the clothes of these were drab, save when the occasional colour of a hooded peasant's shawl, like the slightly faded tints of an old master, lit up a group of women. Here, going home to their children, were Italian mothers bred through centuries to endurance and patience; sallow Jewesses, gaunt, bearded Jews with shadowy, half-closed eyes and wrinkled brows, broad-faced Lithuanians, flat-headed Russians; swarthy Italian men and pale, blond Germans mingled with muddy Syrians and nondescript Canadians. And suddenly the bridge was empty, the army vanished as swiftly as it came!

She oddly remembered the Stanley Street bridge where many streams came together—the Arundel, the Patuxent, the Arlington, and the Clarendon. Wanting to extend and deepen her feelings, she hurried there, finally reaching it and pushing her way to the center, where she held onto the rail. The massive structure shook from the bustle, its sidewalks and roadway crowded with workers, weaving between trolleys and trucks—some moving quickly with lunch pails in hand along the steel beams. Young boys played and whistled, while young girls in trendy Faber Street outfits and floral hats clung to each other for safety, chewing gum and joking. But mostly, these workers were quiet, their faces showing a strange contrast to the rush of their feet and the focused determination of their bodies as they headed home to the tenements. Their clothes were dull, except for occasional glimpses of color from a hooded peasant's shawl, which brightened a group of women. Here were Italian mothers returning home to their children, bred through generations for endurance and patience; pale Jewish women and thin, bearded men with shadowy, half-closed eyes and wrinkled brows; broad-faced Lithuanians and flat-headed Russians; dark-skinned Italian men and light-haired Germans mixed with muddy Syrians and indistinct Canadians. And just like that, the bridge was empty, the crowd vanishing as quickly as it had appeared!

Janet turned. Through the haze of smoke she saw the sun drop like a ball of fire cooled to redness, whose course is spent. The delicate lines of the upper bridge were drawn in sepia against crimson-gilt; for an instant the cupola of the Clarendon became jasper, and far, far above floated in the azure a cloud of pink jeweller's cotton. Even as she strove to fix these colours in her mind they vanished, the western sky faded to magenta, to purple-mauve; the corridor of the river darkened, on either side pale lights sparkled from the windows of the mills, while down the deepened blue of the waters came floating iridescent suds from the washing of the wools. It was given to her to know that which an artist of living memory has called the incommunicable thrill of things....

Janet turned. Through the haze of smoke, she saw the sun drop like a ball of fire, cooling to a deep red as it finished its descent. The delicate lines of the upper bridge stood out in sepia against the crimson glow; for a moment, the cupola of the Clarendon looked like jasper, and far above, a cloud of pink fluff floated in the blue sky. Just as she tried to lock these colors in her memory, they faded. The western sky changed to magenta, then to purple-mauve; the river corridor darkened, and on either side, soft lights twinkled from the mill windows. Meanwhile, iridescent bubbles from the wool washing floated down the deepening blue waters. She experienced what a contemporary artist once called the indescribable thrill of things...





CHAPTER VIII

The after-effects of this experience of Janet's were not what ordinarily are called “spiritual,” though we may some day arrive at a saner meaning of the term, include within it the impulses and needs of the entire organism. It left her with a renewed sense of energy and restlessness, brought her nearer to high discoveries of mysterious joys which a voice out of the past called upon her to forego, a voice somehow identified with her father! It was faint, ineffectual. In obeying it, would she not lose all life had to give? When she came in to supper her father was concerned about her because, instead of walking home with him she had left him without explanation to plunge into the crowd of workers. Her evident state of excitement had worried him, her caprice was beyond his comprehension. And how could she explain the motives that led to it? She was sure he had never felt like that; and as she evaded his questions the something within her demanding life and expression grew stronger and more rebellious, more contemptuous of the fear-precepts congenial to a nature timorous and less vitalized.

The after-effects of Janet's experience weren't what people usually call “spiritual,” although we might eventually come to a clearer understanding of the term that includes the drives and needs of the whole person. It left her with a fresh burst of energy and restlessness, bringing her closer to profound discoveries of mysterious joys that a voice from her past urged her to let go of—a voice that somehow reminded her of her father! It was faint and ineffective. By following it, would she lose everything life had to offer? When she came in for dinner, her father was worried about her because, instead of walking home with him, she had left him without any explanation to dive into the crowd of workers. Her visible state of excitement had him concerned; her unpredictable behavior was beyond his understanding. And how could she explain the reasons behind it? She was certain he had never felt that way; and as she avoided his questions, the part of her that demanded life and expression grew stronger and more defiant, increasingly scornful of the fear-based principles that suited a timid and less vigorous nature.

After supper, unable to sit still, she went out, and, filled with the spirit of adventure, hurried toward Faber Street, which was already thronging with people. It was bright here and gay, the shops glittered, and she wandered from window to window until she found herself staring at a suit of blue cloth hung on a form, beneath which was a card that read, “Marked down to $20.” And suddenly the suggestion flashed into her mind, why shouldn't she buy it? She had the money, she needed a new suit for the winter, the one she possessed was getting shabby...but behind the excuse of necessity was the real reason triumphantly proclaiming itself—she would look pretty in it, she would be transformed, she would be buying a new character to which she would have to live up. The old Janet would be cast off with the old raiment; the new suit would announce to herself and to the world a Janet in whom were released all those longings hitherto disguised and suppressed, and now become insupportable! This was what the purchase meant, a change of existence as complete as that between the moth and the butterfly; and the realization of this fact, of the audacity she was resolved to commit made her hot as she gazed at the suit. It was modest enough, yet it had a certain distinction of cut, it looked expensive: twenty dollars was not cheap, to be sure, but as the placard announced, it had the air of being much more costly—even more costly than thirty dollars, which seemed fabulous. Though she strove to remain outwardly calm, her heart beat rapidly as she entered the store and asked for the costume, and was somewhat reassured by the comportment of the saleswoman, who did not appear to think the request preposterous, to regard her as a spendthrift and a profligate. She took down the suit from the form and led Janet to a cabinet in the back of the shop, where it was tried on.

After dinner, unable to sit still, she went outside, filled with a sense of adventure, and hurried toward Faber Street, which was already bustling with people. It was lively and bright here, the shops sparkled, and she wandered from window to window until she found herself staring at a blue cloth suit displayed on a mannequin, beneath which was a tag that read, “Marked down to $20.” Suddenly, the thought struck her—why shouldn't she buy it? She had the money, she needed a new suit for the winter, the one she had was getting old...but behind the excuse of necessity was the real reason making itself known—she would look pretty in it, she would be transformed, she would be buying a new identity that she would have to live up to. The old Janet would be shed along with the old clothes; the new suit would signal to herself and the world a Janet who had released all those longings that had been hidden and suppressed, and were now impossible to ignore! This was what the purchase represented, a change of life as complete as that between a moth and a butterfly; and the realization of this fact, of the boldness she was ready to embrace, made her feel warm as she gazed at the suit. It was simple enough, yet it had a certain elegance in its design, it looked expensive: twenty dollars wasn’t cheap, for sure, but as the sign suggested, it had the appearance of being worth much more—even more than thirty dollars, which seemed outrageous. Though she tried to stay calm on the outside, her heart raced as she entered the store and asked for the suit, feeling somewhat reassured by the demeanor of the saleswoman, who didn’t seem to think her request was ridiculous or view her as a spendthrift. The saleswoman took the suit off the mannequin and led Janet to a fitting room in the back of the shop, where she tried it on.

“It's worth every bit of thirty dollars,” she heard the woman say, “but we've had it here for some time, and it's no use for our trade. You can't sell anything like that in Hampton, there's no taste here, it's too good, it ain't showy enough. My, it fits you like it was made for you, and it's just your style—and you can see it wants a lady to wear it. Your old suit is too tight—I guess you've filled out some since you bought it.”

“It's worth every bit of thirty dollars,” she heard the woman say, “but we’ve had it here for a while, and it’s not useful for our business. You can't sell anything like that in Hampton, there’s no taste here; it’s too nice, and it isn't flashy enough. Wow, it fits you like it was made for you, and it’s totally your style—and you can tell it deserves a lady to wear it. Your old suit is too tight—I bet you’ve filled out a bit since you bought it.”

She turned Janet around and around, patting the skirt here and there, and then stood off a little way, with clasped hands, her expression almost rapturous. Janet's breath came fast as she gazed into the mirror and buttoned up the coat. Was the woman's admiration cleverly feigned? this image she beheld an illusion? or did she really look different, distinguished? and if not beautiful—alluring? She had had a momentary apprehension, almost sickening, that she would be too conspicuous, but the saleswoman had anticipated that objection with the magical word “lady.”

She turned Janet around, adjusting the skirt here and there, and then stepped back a bit, with her hands clasped, her expression almost ecstatic. Janet’s heart raced as she looked in the mirror and fastened the coat. Was the woman’s admiration just a clever act? Was this reflection some kind of illusion? Or did she actually look different, sophisticated? And if not beautiful—then at least captivating? She had a brief, almost nauseating worry that she would stand out too much, but the saleswoman had countered that concern with the enchanting word “lady.”

“I'll take it,” she announced.

"I'll take it," she said.

“Well, you couldn't have done better if you'd gone to Boston,” declared the woman. “It's one chance in a thousand. Will you wear it?”

“Well, you couldn't have done better if you'd gone to Boston,” the woman said. “It's a one in a thousand chance. Will you wear it?”

“Yes,” said Janet faintly.... “Just put my old suit in a box, and I'll call for it in an hour.”

“Yes,” said Janet faintly.... “Just put my old suit in a box, and I'll pick it up in an hour.”

The woman's sympathetic smile followed her as she left the shop. She had an instant of hesitation, of an almost panicky desire to go back and repair her folly, ere it was too late. Why had she taken her money with her that evening, if not with some deliberate though undefined purpose? But she was ashamed to face the saleswoman again, and her elation was not to be repressed—an elation optically presented by a huge electric sign on the farther side of the street that flashed through all the colours of the spectrum, surrounded by running fire like the running fire in her soul. Deliciously self-conscious, her gaze fixed ahead, she pressed through the Wednesday night crowds, young mill men and women in their best clothes, housewives and fathers of families with children and bundles. In front of the Banner office a group blocked the pavement staring up at the news bulletin, which she paused to read. “Five Millionaire Directors Indicted in New York,” “State Treasurer Accused of Graft,” “Murdock Fortune Contested by Heirs.” The phrases seemed meaningless, and she hurried on again.... She was being noticed! A man looked at her, twice, the first glance accidental, the second arresting, appealing, subtly flattering, agitating—she was sure he had turned and was following her. She hastened her steps. It was wicked, what she was doing, but she gloried in it; and even the sight, in burning red letters, of Gruber's Cafe failed to bring on a revulsion by its association with her sister Lise. The fact that Lise had got drunk there meant nothing to her now. She gazed curiously at the illuminated, orange-coloured panes separated by curving leads, at the design of a harp in green, at the sign “Ladies' Entrance”; listened eagerly to the sounds of voices and laughter that came from within. She looked cautiously over her shoulder, a shadow appeared, she heard a voice, low, insinuating....

The woman smiled sympathetically as she left the shop. She hesitated for a moment, feeling an almost panicky urge to go back and fix her mistake before it was too late. Why had she brought her money that evening if not for some intentional yet vague purpose? But she felt embarrassed to face the saleswoman again, and her excitement was hard to contain—an excitement mirrored by a massive neon sign across the street, flashing all the colors of the spectrum, surrounded by flickering lights like the fire in her heart. Self-consciously enjoying the moment, she kept her eyes straight ahead and pushed through the Wednesday night crowds, where young mill workers dressed in their best outfits mingled with housewives and fathers with children and bags. In front of the Banner office, a group was blocking the sidewalk, staring up at the news bulletin, which she paused to read. “Five Millionaire Directors Indicted in New York,” “State Treasurer Accused of Graft,” “Murdock Fortune Contested by Heirs.” The headlines felt meaningless, and she quickly moved on... She was being noticed! A man looked at her twice; the first glance was accidental, and the second was intentional, appealing, subtly flattering, and it made her uneasy—she was sure he turned and started following her. She quickened her pace. It felt naughty, what she was doing, but she reveled in it; even the sight of Gruber's Cafe in bold red letters failed to sicken her given its connection to her sister Lise. The fact that Lise had gotten drunk there didn’t matter to her anymore. She looked curiously at the illuminated orange panes separated by curving leads, at the green harp design, at the sign saying “Ladies' Entrance,” and listened eagerly to the sounds of voices and laughter coming from inside. She glanced cautiously over her shoulder, a shadow passed by, and she heard a voice, low and suggestive…

Four blocks farther down she stopped. The man was no longer following her. She had been almost self-convinced of an intention to go to Eda's—not quite. Of late her conscience had reproached her about Eda, Janet had neglected her. She told herself she was afraid of Eda's uncanny and somewhat nauseating flair for romance; and to show Eda the new suit, though she would relish her friend's praise, would be the equivalent of announcing an affair of the heart which she, Janet, would have indignantly to deny. She was not going to Eda's. She knew now where she was going. A prepared but hitherto undisclosed decree of fate had bade her put money in her bag that evening, directed her to the shop to buy the dress, and would presently impel her to go to West Street—nay, was even now so impelling her. Ahead of her were the lights of the Chippering Mill, in her ears was the rhythmic sound of the looms working of nights on the Bradlaugh order. She reached the canal. The white arc above the end of the bridge cast sharp, black shadows of the branches of the trees on the granite, the thousand windows of the mill shone yellow, reflected in the black water. Twice she started to go, twice she paused, held by the presage of a coming event, a presage that robbed her of complete surprise when she heard footsteps on the bridge, saw the figure of a man halting at the crown of the arch to look back at the building he had left, his shoulders squared, his hand firmly clasping the rail. Her heart was throbbing with the looms, and yet she stood motionless, until he turned and came rapidly down the slope of the arch and stopped in front of her. Under the arc lamp it was almost as bright as day.

Four blocks down, she stopped. The man was no longer following her. She had almost convinced herself that she intended to go to Eda’s—not quite. Lately, her conscience had been bothering her about Eda; Janet had been neglecting her. She told herself she was afraid of Eda’s strange and somewhat sickening knack for romance, and showing Eda the new suit, even though she would enjoy her friend’s praise, would feel like announcing a romantic relationship that she, Janet, would have to indignantly deny. She wasn’t going to Eda’s. Now, she knew where she was headed. A planned but previously unstated decree of fate had urged her to put money in her bag that evening, guided her to the shop to buy the dress, and was now pushing her to go to West Street—nay, was even now urging her on. Ahead of her were the lights of the Chippering Mill, and in her ears was the rhythmic sound of the looms working at night on the Bradlaugh order. She reached the canal. The white arc above the end of the bridge cast sharp, black shadows of the tree branches on the granite; the thousand windows of the mill glowed yellow, reflected in the dark water. Twice she started to leave, twice she paused, held back by the sense of an impending event, a feeling that stripped her of complete surprise when she heard footsteps on the bridge, saw the figure of a man stopping at the top of the arch to look back at the building he had left, his shoulders squared, his hand firmly gripping the rail. Her heart was pounding with the rhythm of the looms, yet she stood still until he turned and quickly came down the slope of the arch, stopping in front of her. Under the arc lamp, it was almost as bright as day.

“Miss Bumpus!” he exclaimed.

“Ms. Bumpus!” he exclaimed.

“Mr. Ditmar” she said.

“Mr. Ditmar,” she said.

“Were you—were you coming to the office?”

“Were you—were you heading to the office?”

“I was just out walking,” she told him. “I thought you were in Boston.”

“I was just out for a walk,” she said to him. “I thought you were in Boston.”

“I came home,” he informed her, somewhat superfluously, his eyes never leaving her, wandering hungrily from her face to her new suit, and back again to her face. “I got here on the seven o'clock train, I wanted to see about those new Blubbers.”

“I got home,” he told her, a bit unnecessarily, his eyes glued to her, moving eagerly from her face to her new suit, and then back to her face. “I arrived on the seven o'clock train; I wanted to check out those new Blubbers.”

“They finished setting them up this afternoon,” she said.

“They finished setting them up this afternoon,” she said.

“How did you know?”

"How did you find out?"

“I asked Mr. Orcutt about it—I thought you might telephone.”

“I asked Mr. Orcutt about it—I thought you might give him a call.”

“You're a wonder,” was his comment. “Well, we've got a running start on that order,” and he threw a glance over his shoulder at the mill. “Everything going full speed ahead. When we put it through I guess I'll have to give you some of the credit.”

“You're amazing,” he said. “Well, we’ve got a solid start on that task,” and he looked back at the mill. “Everything’s moving full speed ahead. When we finish it up, I guess I'll have to give you some of the credit.”

“Oh, I haven't done anything,” she protested.

“Oh, I haven't done anything,” she insisted.

“More than you think. You've taken so much off my shoulders I couldn't get along without you.” His voice vibrated, reminding her of the voices of those who made sentimental recitations for the graphophone. It sounded absurd, yet it did not repel her: something within her responded to it. “Which way were you going?” he inquired.

“More than you realize. You've lifted so much off my shoulders; I couldn't manage without you.” His voice resonated, reminding her of those who made heartfelt recordings for the gramophone. It sounded silly, yet it didn't push her away: something inside her connected with it. “Which way were you headed?” he asked.

“Home,” she said.

"Home," she said.

“Where do you live?”

“Where do you stay?”

“In Fillmore Street.” And she added with a touch of defiance: “It's a little street, three blocks above Hawthorne, off East Street.”

“In Fillmore Street.” And she added with a hint of defiance: “It's a small street, three blocks above Hawthorne, off East Street.”

“Oh yes,” he said vaguely, as though he had not understood. “I'll come with you as far as the bridge—along the canal. I've got so much to say to you.”

“Oh yeah,” he said vaguely, as if he hadn't understood. “I’ll go with you as far as the bridge—along the canal. I’ve got so much to tell you.”

“Can't you say it to-morrow?”

“Can't you say it tomorrow?”

“No, I can't; there are so many people in the office—so many interruptions, I mean. And then, you never give me a chance.”

“No, I can't; there are too many people in the office—so many distractions, you know? And besides, you never give me a chance.”

She stood hesitating, a struggle going on within her. He had proposed the route along the canal because nobody would be likely to recognize them, and her pride resented this. On the other hand, there was the sweet allurement of the adventure she craved, which indeed she had come out to seek and by a strange fatality found—since he had appeared on the bridge almost as soon as she reached it. The sense of fate was strong upon her. Curiosity urged her, and, thanks to the eulogy she had read of him that day, to the added impression of his power conveyed by the trip through the mills, Ditmar loomed larger than ever in her consciousness.

She stood there, hesitating, a conflict brewing inside her. He had suggested taking the path along the canal because it was unlikely anyone would recognize them, and her pride was uncomfortable with that. On the other hand, there was the enticing thrill of the adventure she wanted, which she had actually set out to find and, through some strange twist of fate, had discovered—since he showed up on the bridge almost as soon as she got there. The feeling of destiny was intense for her. Curiosity pushed her forward, and, thanks to the glowing review she had read about him that day, combined with the impression of his strength from the trip through the mills, Ditmar seemed more significant than ever in her mind.

“What do you want to say?” she asked.

“What do you want to say?” she asked.

“Oh, lots of things.”

"Oh, many things."

She felt his hand slipping under her arm, his fingers pressing gently but firmly into her flesh, and the experience of being impelled by a power stronger than herself, a masculine power, was delicious. Her arm seemed to burn where he touched her.

She felt his hand slide under her arm, his fingers pressing gently yet firmly into her skin, and the sensation of being driven by a force greater than herself, a masculine force, was intoxicating. Her arm seemed to tingle where he touched her.

“Have I done something to offend you?” she heard him say. “Or is it because you don't like me?”

“Did I do something to upset you?” she heard him say. “Or is it because you don't like me?”

“I'm not sure whether I like you or not,” she told him. “I don't like seeing you—this way. And why should you want to know me and see me outside of the office? I'm only your stenographer.”

“I'm not sure if I like you or not,” she told him. “I don't like seeing you—like this. And why would you want to know me and see me outside of the office? I'm just your stenographer.”

“Because you're you—because you're different from any woman I ever met. You don't understand what you are—you don't see yourself.”

“Because you’re you—because you’re different from any woman I’ve ever met. You don’t realize what you are—you don’t see yourself.”

“I made up my mind last night I wouldn't stay in your office any longer,” she informed him.

“I decided last night that I wouldn’t stay in your office any longer,” she told him.

“For God's sake, why?” he exclaimed. “I've been afraid of that. Don't go—I don't know what I'd do. I'll be careful—I won't get you talked about.”

“For God's sake, why?” he shouted. “I’ve been worried about that. Don’t go—I don’t know what I’d do. I’ll be careful—I won’t let anyone talk about you.”

“Talked about!” She tore herself away from him. “Why should you get me talked about?” she cried.

“Talked about!” She pulled away from him. “Why should you make me the topic of conversation?” she exclaimed.

He was frightened. “No, no,” he stammered, “I didn't mean—”

He was scared. “No, no,” he stuttered, “I didn't mean—”

“What did you mean?”

"What do you mean?"

“Well—as you say, you're my stenographer, but that's no reason why we shouldn't be friends. I only meant—I wouldn't do anything to make our friendship the subject of gossip.”

“Well—as you said, you're my assistant, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. I just meant—I wouldn't do anything to make our friendship the topic of gossip.”

Suddenly she began to find a certain amusement in his confusion and penitence, she achieved a pleasurable sense of advantage, of power over him.

Suddenly, she started to find some amusement in his confusion and regret; she felt a satisfying sense of superiority, of control over him.

“Why should you want me? I don't know anything, I've never had any advantages—and you have so much. I read an article in the newspaper about you today—Mr. Caldwell gave it to me—”

“Why would you want me? I don't know anything, I've never had any advantages—and you have so much. I saw an article about you in the newspaper today—Mr. Caldwell gave it to me—”

“Did you like it?” he interrupted, naively.

“Did you like it?” he interrupted, innocently.

“Well, in some places it was rather funny.”

“Well, in some places it was pretty funny.”

“Funny? How?”

"Funny? In what way?"

“Oh, I don't know.” She had been quick to grasp in it the journalistic lack of restraint hinted at by Caldwell. “I liked it, but I thought it praised you too much, it didn't criticize you enough.”

“Oh, I don't know.” She quickly picked up on the lack of restraint in the journalism that Caldwell implied. “I liked it, but I thought it praised you too much; it didn't criticize you enough.”

He laughed. In spite of his discomfort, he found her candour refreshing. From the women to whom he had hitherto made love he had never got anything but flattery.

He laughed. Despite his discomfort, he found her honesty refreshing. From the women he had been with before, he had only ever received flattery.

“I want you to criticize me,” he said.

“I want you to critique me,” he said.

But she went on relentlessly:—“When I read in that article how successful you were, and how you'd got everything you'd started out to get, and how some day you might be treasurer and president of the Chippering Mill, well—” Despairing of giving adequate expression to her meaning, she added, “I didn't see how we could be friends.”

But she kept going:—“When I read that article about how successful you were and how you achieved everything you set out to achieve, and how someday you might be treasurer and president of the Chippering Mill, well—” Struggling to express her feelings, she added, “I didn't see how we could be friends.”

“You wanted me for a friend?” he interrupted eagerly.

“You wanted me to be your friend?” he interrupted excitedly.

“I couldn't help knowing you wanted me—you've shown it so plainly. But I didn't see how it could be. You asked me where I lived—in a little flat that's no better than a tenement. I suppose you would call it a tenement. It's dark and ugly, it only has four rooms, and it smells of cooking. You couldn't come there—don't you see how impossible it is? And you wouldn't care to be talked about yourself, either,” she added vehemently.

“I couldn't help but know you wanted me—you've made it so obvious. But I didn't see how it could work out. You asked me where I lived—in a small apartment that's really just a rundown place. I guess you’d call it a tenement. It’s dark and unattractive, it only has four rooms, and it smells like cooking. You couldn't come there—don't you see how impossible that is? And you wouldn't want people talking about you either,” she added passionately.

This defiant sincerity took him aback. He groped for words.

This bold honesty caught him off guard. He struggled to find the right words.

“Listen!” he urged. “I don't want to do anything you wouldn't like, and honestly I don't know what I'd do if you left me. I've come to depend on you. And you may not believe it, but when I got that Bradlaugh order I thought of you, I said to myself 'She'll be pleased, she'll help me to put it over.'”

“Listen!” he said urgently. “I don’t want to do anything that would upset you, and honestly, I have no idea what I’d do if you left me. I’ve come to rely on you. And you might not believe it, but when I got that Bradlaugh order, you were the first person I thought of. I told myself, ‘She’ll be happy about this; she’ll help me make it happen.’”

She thrilled at this, she even suffered him, for some reason unknown to herself, to take her arm again.

She was excited by this, and for some unknown reason, she even allowed him to take her arm again.

“How could I help you?”

"How can I help you?"

“Oh, in a thousand ways—you ought to know, you do a good deal of thinking for me, and you can help me by just being there. I can't explain it, but I feel somehow that things will go right. I've come to depend on you.”

“Oh, in a thousand ways—you should know, you think for me a lot, and just having you around helps. I can't explain it, but I somehow feel that everything will be okay. I've come to rely on you.”

He was a little surprised to find himself saying these things he had not intended to say, and the lighter touch he had always possessed in dealing with the other sex, making him the envied of his friends, had apparently abandoned him. He was appalled at the possibility of losing her.

He was a bit surprised to find himself saying things he hadn't meant to say, and the easy charm he usually had with women, which made his friends envious, seemed to have left him. He was horrified at the thought of losing her.

“I've never met a woman like you,” he went on, as she remained silent. “You're different—I don't know what it is about you, but you are.” His voice was low, caressing, his head was bent down to her, his shoulder pressed against her shoulder. “I've never had a woman friend before, I've never wanted one until now.”

“I've never met a woman like you,” he continued, while she stayed quiet. “You’re unique—I can’t quite put my finger on it, but you are.” His voice was soft and soothing, his head leaned towards her, his shoulder touching hers. “I’ve never had a woman friend before; I’ve never wanted one until now.”

She wondered about his wife.

She wondered about his spouse.

“You've got brains—I've never met a woman with brains.”

“You're smart—I’ve never met a woman who's this smart.”

“Oh, is that why?” she exclaimed.

“Oh, is that why?” she said.

“You're beautiful,” he whispered. “It's queer, but I didn't know it at first. You're more beautiful to-night than I've ever seen you.”

“You're beautiful,” he whispered. “It's strange, but I didn't realize it at first. You're more beautiful tonight than I've ever seen you.”

They had come almost to Warren Street. Suddenly realizing that they were standing in the light, that people were passing to and fro over the end of the bridge, she drew away from him once more, this time more gently.

They had almost reached Warren Street. Suddenly aware that they were standing in the light, with people walking back and forth at the end of the bridge, she pulled away from him again, this time more softly.

“Let's walk back a little way,” he proposed.

“Let's walk back for a bit,” he suggested.

“I must go home—it's late.”

"I need to go home—it's late."

“It's only nine o'clock.”

"It's just nine o'clock."

“I have an errand to do, and they'll expect me. Good night.”

“I have something to take care of, and they'll be waiting for me. Good night.”

“Just one more turn!” he pleaded.

“Just one more turn!” he begged.

But she shook her head, backing away from him.

But she shook her head and took a step back from him.

“You'll see me to-morrow,” she told him. She didn't know why she said that. She hurried along Warren Street without once looking over her shoulder; her feet seemed scarcely to touch the ground, the sound of music was in her ears, the lights sparkled. She had had an adventure, at last, an adventure that magically had transformed her life! She was beautiful! No one had ever told her that before. And he had said that he needed her. She smiled as, with an access of tenderness, in spite of his experience and power she suddenly felt years older than Ditmar. She could help him!...

“You’ll see me tomorrow,” she said to him. She didn’t know why she said that. She hurried down Warren Street without once looking back; her feet barely seemed to touch the ground, the sound of music was in her ears, and the lights sparkled. She had finally had an adventure, an adventure that had magically changed her life! She was beautiful! No one had ever told her that before. And he had said he needed her. She smiled as, in a rush of tenderness, she suddenly felt years older than Ditmar, despite his experience and power. She could help him!...

She was breathless when she reached the shop in Faber Street.

She was out of breath when she got to the store on Faber Street.

“I hope I haven't kept you waiting,” she said.

“I hope I didn't keep you waiting,” she said.

“Oh no, we don't close until ten,” answered the saleswoman. She was seated quietly sewing under the lamp.

“Oh no, we don't close until ten,” replied the saleswoman. She was sitting quietly, sewing under the lamp.

“I wonder whether you'd mind if I put on my old suit again, and carried this?” Janet asked.

“I wonder if you’d mind if I put on my old suit again and carried this?” Janet asked.

The expression of sympathy and understanding in the woman's eyes, as she rose, brought the blood swiftly to Janet's face. She felt that her secret had been guessed. The change effected, Janet went homeward swiftly, to encounter, on the corner of Faber Street, her sister Lise, whose attention was immediately attracted by the bundle.

The sympathy and understanding in the woman's eyes made Janet blush. She felt like her secret had been figured out. After that moment, Janet hurried home and ran into her sister Lise on the corner of Faber Street, who instantly noticed the bundle.

“What have you got there, angel face?” she demanded.

“What do you have there, angel face?” she asked.

“A new suit,” said Janet.

“A new suit,” said Janet.

“You don't tell me—where'd you get it? at the Paris?”

“You're not going to tell me—where did you get it? In Paris?”

“No, at Dowling's.”

“No, at Dowling's.”

“Say, I'll bet it was that plain blue thing marked down to twenty!”

“Say, I bet it was that simple blue one that got marked down to twenty!”

“Well, what if it was?”

“Well, what if it is?”

Lise, when surprised or scornful, had a peculiarly irritating way of whistling through her teeth.

Lise, when she was surprised or mocking, had a particularly annoying way of whistling through her teeth.

“Twenty bucks! Gee, you'll be getting your clothes in Boston next. Well, as sure as I live when I went by that window the other day when they first knocked it down I said to Sadie, 'those are the rags Janet would buy if she had the ready.' Have you got another raise out of Ditmar?”

“Twenty bucks! Wow, you'll be picking up your clothes in Boston next. Well, I swear when I walked by that window the other day when they first took it down, I told Sadie, 'those are the clothes Janet would buy if she had the cash.' Have you gotten another raise from Ditmar?”

“If I have, it isn't any business of yours,” Janet retorted. “I've got a right to do as I please with my own money.”

“If I do, it’s none of your business,” Janet shot back. “I have the right to do what I want with my own money.”

“Oh sure,” said Lise, and added darkly: “I guess Ditmar likes to see you look well.”

“Oh sure,” Lise said, adding with a hint of bitterness, “I guess Ditmar likes seeing you look good.”

After this Janet refused obstinately to speak to Lise, to answer, when they reached home, her pleadings and complaints to their mother that Janet had bought a new suit and refused to exhibit it. And finally, when they had got to bed, Janet lay long awake in passionate revolt against this new expression of the sordidness and lack of privacy in which she was forced to live, made the more intolerable by the close, sultry darkness of the room and the snoring of Lise.

After this, Janet stubbornly refused to talk to Lise or respond when they got home to her pleas and complaints to their mother that Janet had bought a new outfit and wouldn’t show it off. Finally, once they were in bed, Janet lay awake for a long time, intensely upset about this new display of the harshness and lack of privacy in her life. The situation was made even worse by the stuffy darkness of the room and Lise's snoring.

In the morning, however, after a groping period of semiconsciousness during the ringing of the bells, the siren startled her into awareness and alertness. It had not wholly lost its note of terror, but the note had somehow become exhilarating, an invitation to adventure and to life; and Lise's sarcastic comments as to the probable reasons why she did not put on the new suit had host their power of exasperation. Janet compromised, wearing a blouse of china silk hitherto reserved for “best.” The day was bright, and she went rapidly toward the mill, glorying in the sunshine and the autumn sharpness of the air; and her thoughts were not so much of Ditmar as of something beyond him, of which he was the medium. She was going, not to meet him, but to meet that. When she reached the office she felt weak, her fingers trembled as she took off her hat and jacket and began to sort out the mail. And she had to calm herself with the assurance that her relationship with Ditmar had undergone no change. She had merely met him by the canal, and he had talked to her. That was all. He had, of course, taken her arm: it tingled when she remembered it. But when he suddenly entered the room her heart gave a bound. He closed the door, he took off his hat, and stood gazing at her—while she continued arranging letters. Presently she was forced to glance at him. His bearing, his look, his confident smile all proclaimed that he, at least, believed things to be changed. He glowed with health and vigour, with an aggressiveness from which she shrank, yet found delicious.

In the morning, after a hazy period of semi-consciousness during the ringing of the bells, the siren jolted her awake and alert. It still had a hint of terror, but that aspect had somehow turned exhilarating, like an invitation to adventure and life; and Lise's sarcastic remarks about why she didn't wear the new suit had lost their ability to frustrate her. Janet settled for a blouse made of fine silk that she usually saved for special occasions. The day was bright, and she hurried toward the mill, basking in the sunshine and the crispness of the autumn air; her thoughts were less about Ditmar and more about something beyond him, which he represented. She wasn't going to meet him but to meet that. When she arrived at the office, she felt weak, her fingers trembling as she took off her hat and jacket and started sorting through the mail. She had to reassure herself that her relationship with Ditmar hadn't changed. She had simply seen him by the canal, and he had talked to her. That was it. He had, of course, taken her arm, and it tingled when she thought of it. But when he suddenly walked into the room, her heart raced. He closed the door, took off his hat, and stood staring at her while she continued to arrange the letters. Soon, she had to look at him. His posture, his expression, his confident smile all suggested he believed things had changed. He radiated health and energy, with an assertiveness that both intimidated her and felt thrilling.

“How are you this morning?” he said at last—this morning as distinguished from all other mornings.

“How are you this morning?” he finally asked—this morning, as different from all other mornings.

“I'm well, as usual,” she answered. She herself was sometimes surprised by her ability to remain outwardly calm.

“I'm good, as usual,” she replied. She was occasionally surprised by her ability to stay composed on the outside.

“Why did you run away from me last night?”

“Why did you take off on me last night?”

“I didn't run away, I had to go home,” she said, still arranging the letters.

“I didn't run away; I had to go home,” she said, still organizing the letters.

“We could have had a little walk. I don't believe you had to go home at all. You just wanted an excuse to get away from me.”

“We could have taken a little walk. I don't think you really had to go home. You just wanted a reason to leave me.”

“I didn't need an excuse,” she told him. He moved toward her, but she took a paper from the desk and carried it to a file across the room.

“I didn't need an excuse,” she said to him. He stepped closer, but she picked up a paper from the desk and walked it over to a file on the other side of the room.

“I thought we were going to be friends,” he said.

“I thought we were going to be friends,” he said.

“Being friends doesn't mean being foolish,” she retorted. “And Mr. Orcutt's waiting to see you.”

“Just because we're friends doesn't mean we have to act stupid,” she shot back. “And Mr. Orcutt is waiting to see you.”

“Let him wait.”

“Have him wait.”

He sat down at his desk, but his blood was warm, and he read the typewritten words of the topmost letter of the pile without so much as grasping the meaning of them. From time to time he glanced up at Janet as she flitted about the room. By George, she was more desirable than he had ever dared to imagine! He felt temporarily balked, but hopeful. On his way to the mill he had dwelt with Epicurean indulgence on this sight of her, and he had not been disappointed. He had also thought that he might venture upon more than the mere feasting of his eyes, yet found an inspiring alleviation in the fact that she by no means absolutely repulsed him. Her attitude toward him had undergone a subtle transformation. There could be no doubt of that. She was almost coquettish. His eyes lingered. The china silk blouse was slightly open at the neck, suggesting the fullness of her throat; it clung to the outline of her shoulders. Overcome by an impulse he could not control, he got up and went toward her, but she avoided him.

He sat down at his desk, but his blood was warm, and he read the typewritten words of the top letter in the pile without really understanding them. From time to time, he glanced up at Janet as she moved around the room. Wow, she was more attractive than he had ever dared to imagine! He felt temporarily held back, but hopeful. On his way to the mill, he had enjoyed the sight of her, and he had not been disappointed. He had also thought about going beyond just looking at her, yet found some comfort in the fact that she didn’t completely reject him. Her attitude toward him had changed subtly. There was no doubt about it. She was almost flirtatious. His eyes lingered. The silk blouse was slightly open at the neck, hinting at the fullness of her throat; it hugged the shape of her shoulders. Overcome by an impulse he couldn’t control, he got up and walked toward her, but she walked away from him.

“I'll tell Mr. Orcutt you've come,” she said, rather breathlessly, as she reached the door and opened it. Ditmar halted in his steps at the sight of the tall, spectacled figure of the superintendent on the threshold.

“I'll let Mr. Orcutt know you're here,” she said, a bit out of breath, as she reached the door and opened it. Ditmar stopped in his tracks at the sight of the tall, bespectacled figure of the superintendent standing in the doorway.

Orcutt hesitated, looking from one to the other.

Orcutt hesitated, glancing between the two.

“I've been waiting for you,” he said, after a moment, “the rest of that lot didn't come in this morning. I've telephoned to the freight agent.”

“I've been waiting for you,” he said after a moment. “The rest of that group didn’t arrive this morning. I called the freight agent.”

Ditmar stared at him uncomprehendingly. Orcutt repeated the information.

Ditmar stared at him in confusion. Orcutt repeated the information.

“Oh well, keep after him, get him to trace them.”

“Oh well, keep following him, get him to track them down.”

“I'm doing that,” replied the conscientious Orcutt.

“I'm doing that,” replied the diligent Orcutt.

“How's everything else going?” Ditmar demanded, with unlooked-for geniality. “You mustn't take things too hard, Orcutt, don't wear yourself out.”

“How's everything else going?” Ditmar asked, surprisingly friendly. “You shouldn’t take things too hard, Orcutt; don’t wear yourself out.”

Mr. Orcutt was relieved. He had expected an outburst of the exasperation that lately had characterized his superior. They began to chat. Janet had escaped.

Mr. Orcutt felt a sense of relief. He had anticipated an explosion of frustration that had recently defined his boss. They started to talk. Janet had gotten away.

“Miss Bumpus told me you wanted to see me. I was just going to ring you up,” Ditmar informed him.

“Miss Bumpus told me you wanted to see me. I was just about to call you,” Ditmar told him.

“She's a clever young woman, seems to take such an interest in things,” Orcutt observed. “And she's always on the job. Only yesterday I saw her going through the mill with young Caldwell.”

“She's a bright young woman, seems to have a real curiosity about things,” Orcutt noted. “And she's always working hard. Just yesterday, I saw her checking things out with young Caldwell.”

Ditmar dropped the paper-weight he held.

Ditmar dropped the paperweight he was holding.

“Oh, she went through, did she?”

“Oh, she made it through, did she?”

After Orcutt departed he sat for awhile whistling a tune, from a popular musical play, keeping time by drumming with his fingers on the desk.

After Orcutt left, he sat for a while whistling a tune from a popular musical, keeping time by tapping his fingers on the desk.

That Mr. Semple, the mill treasurer, came down from Boston that morning to confer with Ditmar was for Janet in the nature of a reprieve. She sat by her window, and as her fingers flew over the typewriter keys she was swept by surges of heat in which ecstasy and shame and terror were strangely commingled. A voice within her said, “This can't go on, this can't go on! It's too terrible! Everyone in the office will notice it—there will be a scandal. I ought to go away while there is yet time—to-day.” Though the instinct of flight was strong within her, she was filled with rebellion at the thought of leaving when Adventure was flooding her drab world with light, even as the mill across the waters was transfigured by the heavy golden wash of the autumn sun. She had made at length the discovery that Adventure had to do with Man, was inconceivable without him.

That morning, Mr. Semple, the mill treasurer, came down from Boston to meet with Ditmar, which felt like a reprieve for Janet. Sitting by her window, her fingers flew over the typewriter keys as she was overwhelmed by waves of heat where ecstasy, shame, and terror were oddly mixed together. A voice inside her kept saying, “This can't continue, this can't continue! It's too awful! Everyone in the office will notice—there will be a scandal. I should leave while there's still time—today.” Even though she felt a strong urge to escape, she was filled with defiance at the idea of leaving when Adventure was brightening her dull world, just as the mill across the water was illuminated by the warm golden light of the autumn sun. Eventually, she realized that Adventure was tied to Man; it seemed unimaginable without him.

Racked by these conflicting impulses of self-preservation on the one hand and what seemed self-realization on the other, she started when, toward the middle of the afternoon, she heard Ditmar's voice summoning her to take his letters; and went palpitating, leaving the door open behind her, seating herself on the far side of the desk, her head bent over her book. Her neck, where her hair grew in wisps behind her ear, seemed to burn: Ditmar's glance was focussed there. Her hands were cold as she wrote.... Then, like a deliverer, she saw young Caldwell coming in from the outer office, holding a card in his hand which he gave to Ditmar, who sat staring at it.

Conflicted between the urge to protect herself and the desire for self-fulfillment, she jumped when she heard Ditmar's voice calling her to take his letters in the middle of the afternoon. She approached, heart racing, leaving the door open behind her, and took a seat on the far side of the desk, with her head lowered over her book. Her neck, where her hair fell in wisps behind her ear, felt hot; Ditmar's gaze was fixed there. Her hands were cold as she wrote.... Then, like a breath of fresh air, she saw young Caldwell enter from the outer office, holding a card that he handed to Ditmar, who sat there staring at it.

“Siddons?” he said. “Who's Siddons?”

"Siddons?" he asked. "Who's Siddons?"

Janet, who had risen, spoke up.

Janet, who had gotten up, spoke up.

“Why, he's been making the Hampton 'survey.' You wrote him you'd see him—don't you remember, Mr. Ditmar?”

“Why, he’s been working on the Hampton 'survey.' You told him you’d meet him—don’t you remember, Mr. Ditmar?”

“Don't go!” exclaimed Ditmar. “You can't tell what those confounded reformers will accuse you of if you don't have a witness.”

“Don't leave!” Ditmar shouted. “You never know what those annoying reformers will blame you for if you don't have someone to back you up.”

Janet sat down again. The sharpness of Ditmar's tone was an exhilarating reminder of the fact that, in dealing with strangers, he had come more or less to rely on her instinctive judgment; while the implied appeal of his manner on such occasions emphasized the pleasurable sense of his dependence, of her own usefulness. Besides, she had been curious about the 'survey' at the time it was first mentioned, she wished to hear Ditmar's views concerning it. Mr. Siddons proved to be a small and sallow young man with a pointed nose and bright, bulbous brown eyes like a chipmunk's. Indeed, he reminded one of a chipmunk. As he whisked himself in and seized Ditmar's hand he gave a confused impression of polite self-effacement as well as of dignity and self-assertion; he had the air of one who expects opposition, and though by no means desiring it, is prepared to deal with it. Janet smiled. She had a sudden impulse to drop the heavy book that lay on the corner of the desk to see if he would jump.

Janet sat down again. The sharpness of Ditmar's tone was an exciting reminder that, when dealing with strangers, he had come to rely on her instincts; meanwhile, the subtle appeal of his manner during these times highlighted the enjoyable sense of his dependence on her and her own usefulness. Besides, she had been curious about the 'survey' ever since it was first mentioned and wanted to hear Ditmar's thoughts on it. Mr. Siddons turned out to be a small, pale young man with a pointed nose and bright, bulging brown eyes like a chipmunk's. In fact, he reminded one of a chipmunk. As he rushed in and grabbed Ditmar's hand, he gave a mixed impression of polite humility as well as dignity and self-assertion; he seemed like someone who expects opposition and, while not wanting it, is ready to handle it. Janet smiled. She suddenly felt the urge to drop the heavy book resting on the corner of the desk to see if he would flinch.

“How do you do, Mr. Ditmar?” he said. “I've been hoping to have this pleasure.”

“How’s it going, Mr. Ditmar?” he said. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”

“My secretary, Miss Bumpus,” said Ditmar.

“My secretary, Miss Bumpus,” Ditmar said.

Mr. Siddons quivered and bowed. Ditmar, sinking ponderously into his chair, seemed suddenly, ironically amused, grinning at Janet as he opened a drawer of his desk and offered the visitor a cigar.

Mr. Siddons trembled and nodded. Ditmar, heavily settling into his chair, seemed unexpectedly, ironically amused, smiling at Janet as he opened a drawer in his desk and offered the visitor a cigar.

“Thanks, I don't smoke,” said Mr. Siddons.

“Thanks, I don’t smoke,” said Mr. Siddons.

Ditmar lit one for himself.

Ditmar lit one for himself.

“Now, what can I do for you?” he asked.

“Now, what can I do for you?” he asked.

“Well, as I wrote you in my letter, I was engaged to make as thorough an examination as possible of the living conditions and housing of the operatives in the city of Hampton. I'm sure you'd be interested in hearing something of the situation we found.”

“Well, as I mentioned in my letter, I was tasked with conducting a complete examination of the living conditions and housing of the workers in the city of Hampton. I'm sure you'd be interested in hearing about the situation we discovered.”

“I suppose you've been through our mills,” said Ditmar.

“I guess you've been through our mills,” Ditmar said.

“No, the fact is—”

“No, the truth is—”

“You ought to go through. I think it might interest you,” Ditmar put a slight emphasis on the pronoun. “We rather pride ourselves on making things comfortable and healthy for our people.”

“You should check it out. I think it might interest you,” Ditmar put a slight emphasis on the pronoun. “We take pride in making things comfortable and healthy for our people.”

“I've no doubt of it—in fact, I've been so informed. It's because of your concern for the welfare of your workers in the mills that I ventured to come and talk to you of how most of them live when they're at home,” replied Siddons, as Janet thought, rather neatly. “Perhaps, though living in Hampton, you don't quite realize what the conditions are. I know a man who has lived in Boston ten years and who hasn't ever seen the Bunker Hill monument.”

“I have no doubt about it—in fact, I’ve been told the same. It's because you care about your workers' well-being in the mills that I took the chance to come and discuss how most of them live when they're at home,” replied Siddons, as Janet thought, quite elegantly. “Perhaps, living in Hampton, you don’t fully grasp what the conditions are like. I know a guy who’s lived in Boston for ten years and has never seen the Bunker Hill monument.”

“The Bunker Hill monument's a public affair,” retorted Ditmar, “anybody can go there who has enough curiosity and interest. But I don't see how you can expect me to follow these people home and make them clean up their garbage and wash their babies. I shouldn't want anybody to interfere with my private affairs.”

“The Bunker Hill monument is a public place,” Ditmar shot back, “anyone can visit if they’re curious and interested. But I don’t understand how you expect me to follow these people home and make them clean up their trash and wash their kids. I wouldn’t want anyone interfering with my personal life.”

“But when you get to a point where private affairs become a public menace?” Siddons objected. “Mr. Ditmar, I've seen block after block of tenements ready to crumble. There are no provisions for foundations, thickness of walls, size of timbers and columns, and if these houses had been deliberately erected to make a bonfire they couldn't have answered the purpose better. If it were not for the danger to life and the pity of making thousands of families homeless, a conflagration would be a blessing, although I believe the entire north or south side of the city would go under certain conditions. The best thing you could do would be to burn whole rows of these tenements, they are ideal breeding grounds for disease. In the older sections of the city you've got hundreds of rear houses here, houses moved back on the lots, in some extreme cases with only four-foot courts littered with refuse,—houses without light, without ventilation, and many of the rooms where these people are cooking and eating and sleeping are so damp and foul they're not fit to put dogs in. You've got some blocks with a density of over five hundred to the acre, and your average density is considerably over a hundred.”

“But what do you do when private issues turn into a public threat?” Siddons argued. “Mr. Ditmar, I’ve seen block after block of tenements on the verge of falling apart. There are no standards for foundations, wall thickness, or the size of the timber and columns, and if these buildings were intentionally built to be a fire hazard, they couldn’t serve that purpose better. If it weren’t for the danger to lives and the tragedy of making thousands of families homeless, a fire would actually be a blessing, though I believe the entire north or south side of the city could easily go up in flames under certain conditions. The best thing you could do would be to burn entire rows of these tenements, as they are perfect breeding grounds for disease. In the older parts of the city, there are hundreds of rear houses here, houses pushed back on the lots, in some cases with only four-foot alleys filled with trash—houses without light, without ventilation, and many of the rooms where these people cook, eat, and sleep are so damp and filthy that they aren't even fit for dogs. Some blocks have a density of over five hundred people per acre, and your average density is well over a hundred.”

“Are things any worse than in any other manufacturing city?” asked Ditmar.

“Are things any worse than in any other manufacturing city?” Ditmar asked.

“That isn't the point,” said Siddons. “The point is that they're bad, they're dangerous, they're inhuman. If you could go into these tenements as I have done and see the way some of these people live, it would make you sick the Poles and Lithuanians and Italians especially. You wouldn't treat cattle that way. In some households of five rooms, including the kitchen, I found as many as fourteen, fifteen, and once seventeen people living. You've got an alarming infant death-rate.”

"That’s not the issue,” said Siddons. “The issue is that they’re bad, they’re dangerous, they’re inhumane. If you could step into these tenements like I have and see how some of these people live, it would make you sick, especially the Poles, Lithuanians, and Italians. You wouldn’t treat animals that way. In some five-room households, including the kitchen, I found as many as fourteen, fifteen, and even seventeen people living there. You have a shocking infant death rate.”

“Isn't it because these people want to live that way?” Ditmar inquired. “They actually like it, they wouldn't be happy in anything but a pig-sty—they had 'em in Europe. And what do you expect us to do? Buy land and build flats for them? Inside of a month they'd have all the woodwork stripped off for kindling, the drainage stopped up, the bathtubs filled with ashes. I know, because it's been tried.”

“Isn’t it because these people want to live like that?” Ditmar asked. “They really enjoy it; they wouldn’t be happy anywhere else but in a dump—they had it in Europe. And what do you expect us to do? Buy land and build apartments for them? Within a month, they’d have all the woodwork taken off for firewood, the drainage clogged, and the bathtubs filled with ashes. I know, because it’s been tried.”

Tilted back in his chair, he blew a cloud of smoke toward the ceiling, and his eyes sought Janet's. She avoided them, resenting a little the assumption of approval she read in them. Her mind, sensitive to new ideas, had been keenly stimulated as she listened to Siddons, who began patiently to dwell once more on the ill effect of the conditions he had discovered on the welfare of the entire community. She had never thought of this. She was surprised that Ditmar should seem to belittle it. Siddons was a new type in her experience. She could understand and to a certain extent maliciously enjoy Ditmar's growing exasperation with him; he had a formal, precise manner of talking, as though he spent most of his time presenting cases in committees: and in warding off Ditmar's objections he was forever indulging in such maddening phrases as, “Before we come to that, let me say a word just here.” Ditmar hated words. His outbursts, his efforts to stop the flow of them were not unlike the futile charges of a large and powerful animal harassed by a smaller and more agile one. With nimble politeness, with an exasperating air of deference to Ditmar's opinions, Mr. Siddons gave ground, only to return to the charge; yet, despite a manner and method which, when contrasted to Ditmar's, verged on the ludicrous, Mr. Siddons had a force and fire of his own, nervous, almost fanatical: when he dwelt on the misery he had seen, and his voice trembled from the intensity of his feeling, Janet began to be moved. It was odd, considering the struggle for existence of her own family, that these foreigners had remained outside the range of her sympathy.

Leaning back in his chair, he exhaled a puff of smoke toward the ceiling and locked eyes with Janet. She looked away, slightly annoyed by the sense of approval she thought she detected in his gaze. Her mind, open to new ideas, had been noticeably sparked as she listened to Siddons, who was now patiently discussing the negative impact of the conditions he had found on the well-being of the entire community. She had never considered this before and was surprised that Ditmar seemed to downplay it. Siddons was a different kind of person than she was used to. She could understand, and somewhat enjoy, Ditmar's growing frustration with him; he had a formal, precise way of speaking, as if he spent most of his time presenting cases to committees. In countering Ditmar's objections, he often used frustrating phrases like, “Before we get to that, let me just say a word here.” Ditmar despised such words. His outbursts and attempts to stifle the torrent of them resembled the desperate lunges of a large, powerful animal bothered by a smaller, quicker one. With agile politeness and a maddening sense of respect for Ditmar's opinions, Mr. Siddons would give ground only to come back stronger; yet, despite a style that seemed almost ridiculous in contrast to Ditmar's, Mr. Siddons possessed his own intensity and passion, almost fanatical: as he recounted the suffering he had witnessed, his voice shook with emotion, and Janet began to feel something. It was strange, given her family's struggle to get by, that these outsiders had somehow stayed outside her circle of compassion.

“I guess you'll find,” Ditmar had interrupted peremptorily, “I guess you'll find, if you look up the savings banks statistics, these people have got millions tucked away. And they send a lot of it to the other side, they go back themselves, and though they live like cattle, they manage to buy land. Ask the real estate men. Why, I could show you a dozen who worked in the mills a few years ago and are capitalists to-day.”

“I guess you’ll see,” Ditmar interrupted firmly, “if you check the savings bank statistics, these people have millions saved up. They send a lot of it overseas, they go back themselves, and even though they live in terrible conditions, they still manage to buy land. Just ask the real estate agents. I could show you a dozen who were working in the mills a few years ago and are now capitalists.”

“I don't doubt it, Mr. Ditmar,” Siddons gracefully conceded. “But what does it prove? Merely the cruelty of an economic system based on ruthless competition. The great majority who are unable to survive the test pay the price. And the community also pays the price, the state and nation pay it. And we have this misery on our consciences. I've no doubt you could show me some who have grown rich, but if you would let me I could take you to families in desperate want, living in rooms too dark to read in at midday in clear weather, where the husband doesn't get more than seven dollars a week when the mills are running full time, where the woman has to look out for the children and work for the lodgers, and even with lodgers they get into debt, and the woman has to go into the mills to earn money for winter clothing. I've seen enough instances of this kind to offset the savings bank argument. And even then, when you have a family where the wife and older children work, where the babies are put out to board, where there are three and four lodgers in a room, why do you suppose they live that way? Isn't it in the hope of freeing themselves ultimately from these very conditions? And aren't these conditions a disgrace to Hampton and America?”

“I don’t doubt it, Mr. Ditmar,” Siddons gracefully conceded. “But what does it prove? Just the cruelty of an economic system based on cutthroat competition. The vast majority who can't make it through the struggle pay the price. And the community also pays the price, as do the state and nation. We carry this misery on our consciences. I have no doubt you could show me some who have become wealthy, but if you'll let me, I could take you to families in dire need, living in rooms too dark to read in at midday even on clear days, where the husband earns no more than seven dollars a week when the mills are running full time, where the wife has to care for the kids and pick up work from lodgers, and even with lodgers, they fall into debt, forcing the wife to work in the mills just to afford winter clothing. I've seen enough cases like this to counter the savings bank argument. And even then, when you have a family where the wife and older kids work, where the babies are sent out to be looked after, and where there are three or four lodgers in a room, why do you think they live like that? Isn’t it in the hope of eventually escaping these very conditions? And aren't these conditions a disgrace to Hampton and America?”

“Well, what am I to do about it?” Ditmar demanded.

“Well, what am I supposed to do about it?” Ditmar demanded.

“I see that these operatives have comfortable and healthful surroundings in the mill, I've spent money to put in the latest appliances. That's more than a good many mills I could mention attempt.”

“I see that these workers have comfortable and healthy environments in the mill; I've invested in the latest equipment. That's more than many mills I could name even try to do.”

“You are a person of influence, Mr. Ditmar, you have more influence than any man in Hampton. You can bring pressure to bear on the city council to enforce and improve the building ordinances, you can organize a campaign of public opinion against certain property owners.”

“You're an influential person, Mr. Ditmar; you have more power than anyone in Hampton. You can urge the city council to enforce and enhance the building codes, and you can rally public opinion against certain property owners.”

“Yes,” retorted Ditmar, “and what then? You raise the rents, and you won't get anybody to live in the houses. They'll move out to settlements like Glendale full of dirt and vermin and disease and live as they're accustomed to. What you reformers are actually driving at is that we should raise wages—isn't it? If we raised wages they'd live like rats anyway. I give you credit for sincerity, Mr. Siddons, but I don't want you to think I'm not as much interested in the welfare of these people as you and the men behind you. The trouble is, you only see one side of this question. When you're in my position, you're up against hard facts. We can't pay a dubber or a drawing tender any more than he's worth, whether he has a wife or children in the mills or whether he hasn't. We're in competition with other mills, we're in competition with the South. We can't regulate the cost of living. We do our best to make things right in the mills, and that's all we can do. We can't afford to be sentimental about life. Competition's got to be the rule, the world's made that way. Some are efficient and some aren't. Good God, any man who's had anything to do with hiring labour and running a plant has that drummed into him hard. You talk about ordinances, laws—there are enough laws and ordinances in this city and in this state right now. If we have any more the mills will have to shut down, and these people will starve—all of 'em.” Ditmar's chair came down on its four legs, and he flung his cigar away. “Send me a copy of your survey when it's published. I'll look it over.”

“Yeah,” Ditmar shot back, “and then what? You raise the rents, and no one will want to live in the houses. They'll just move out to places like Glendale, full of dirt, pests, and sickness, and live the way they always do. What you reformers really want is for us to raise wages, right? Even if we raised wages, they’d still live like rats. I respect your honesty, Mr. Siddons, but don’t think I’m not just as concerned about these people as you and your supporters are. The problem is, you only see one side of this issue. When you're in my position, you’re faced with tough realities. We can’t pay a laborer or a skilled worker more than they’re worth, whether they have a family or not. We’re competing with other mills, we’re competing with the South. We can’t control the cost of living. We do our best to ensure decent conditions in the mills, and that’s all we can do. We can’t afford to be sentimental about life. Competition has to be the standard; that’s how the world works. Some people are efficient and some aren’t. Honestly, anyone who has ever hired workers and run a plant knows that lesson really well. You talk about regulations and laws—there are already plenty of laws and regulations in this city and state. If we get any more, the mills will have to shut down, and these people will starve—every last one of them.” Ditmar’s chair hit the floor, and he tossed his cigar aside. “When your survey is published, send me a copy. I’ll check it out.”

“Well, what do you think of the nerve of a man like that?” Ditmar exploded, when Mr. Siddons had bowed himself out. “Comes in here to advise me that it's my business to look out for the whole city of Hampton. I'd like to see him up against this low-class European labour trying to run a mill with them. They're here one day and there the next, they don't know what loyalty is. You've got to drive 'em—if you give 'em an inch they'll jump at your throat, dynamite your property. Why, there's nothing I wouldn't do for them if I could depend on them, I'd build 'em houses, I'd have automobiles to take 'em home. As it is, I do my best, though they don't deserve it,—in slack seasons I run half time when I oughtn't to be running at all.”

“Well, what do you think of the nerve of a guy like that?” Ditmar exploded after Mr. Siddons had left. “He comes in here to tell me that it’s my job to look out for the whole city of Hampton. I’d like to see him deal with this low-class European labor trying to run a mill with them. They’re here one day and gone the next; they don’t understand loyalty. You’ve got to push them—if you give them an inch, they’ll go for your throat and blow up your property. Honestly, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them if I could count on them. I’d build them houses; I’d have cars to take them home. As it stands, I do my best, even though they don’t deserve it—in slow seasons, I run half-time when I really shouldn’t be running at all.”

His tone betrayed an effort of self-justification, and his irritation had been increased by the suspicion in Janet of a certain lack of the sympathy on which he had counted. She sat silent, gazing searchingly at his face.

His tone revealed that he was trying to justify himself, and his irritation grew because he suspected that Janet didn't share the sympathy he had been counting on. She sat quietly, looking intently at his face.

“What's the matter?” he demanded. “You don't mean to say you agree with that kind of talk?”

“What's wrong?” he asked. “You don't actually agree with that kind of talk, do you?”

“I was wondering—” she began.

"I was just thinking—" she began.

“What?”

“What?”

“If you were—if you could really understand those who are driven to work in order to keep alive?”

“If you were—if you could truly grasp what motivates those who have to work just to survive?”

“Understand them! Why not?” he asked.

“Understand them! Why not?” he asked.

“Because—because you're on top, you've always been successful, you're pretty much your own master—and that makes it different. I'm not blaming you—in your place I'd be the same, I'm sure. But this man, Siddons, made me think. I've lived like that, you see, I know what it is, in a way.”

“Because—because you’re at the top, you’ve always been successful, you’re basically in control of your own life—and that changes things. I’m not blaming you—in your position, I’d probably feel the same way, for sure. But this guy, Siddons, got me thinking. I’ve lived like that, you know, I understand what it’s like, in a way.”

“Not like these foreigners!” he protested.

“Not like these outsiders!” he protested.

“Oh, almost as bad,” she cried with vehemence, and Ditmar, stopped suddenly in his pacing as by a physical force, looked at her with the startled air of the male who has inadvertently touched off one of the many hidden springs in the feminine emotional mechanism. “How do you know what it is to live in a squalid, ugly street, in dark little rooms that smell of cooking, and not be able to have any of the finer, beautiful things in life? Unless you'd wanted these things as I've wanted them, you couldn't know. Oh, I can understand what it would feel like to strike, to wish to dynamite men like you!”

“Oh, it’s almost as bad,” she exclaimed passionately, and Ditmar, suddenly halted in his pacing as if struck by a physical force, looked at her with the startled expression of a man who has accidentally set off one of the many hidden triggers in a woman’s emotional system. “How do you know what it’s like to live on a grimy, ugly street, in small dark rooms that smell like cooking, and not be able to have any of the finer, beautiful things in life? Unless you’ve wanted those things as much as I have, you wouldn’t understand. Oh, I can imagine what it would feel like to strike out, to want to blow up men like you!”

“You can!” he exclaimed in amazement. “You!”

“You can!” he said in disbelief. “You!”

“Yes, me. You don't understand these people, you couldn't feel sorry for them any more than you could feel sorry for me. You want them to run your mills for you, you don't want to know how they feel or how they live, and you just want me—for your pleasure.”

“Yes, me. You don't get these people; you couldn't feel sorry for them any more than you could for me. You want them to work your mills for you, you don't care about how they feel or how they live, and you just want me—for your enjoyment.”

He was indeed momentarily taken aback by this taunt, which no woman in his experience had had the wit and spirit to fling at him, but he was not the type of man to be shocked by it. On the contrary, it swept away his irritation, and as a revelation of her inner moltenness stirred him to a fever heat as he approached and stood over her.

He was briefly surprised by this insult, which no woman he had ever met had the cleverness and boldness to throw at him, but he wasn’t the kind of man to be offended by it. On the contrary, it wiped away his annoyance, and as a glimpse into her passionate nature excited him, he moved closer and stood over her.

“You little—panther!” he whispered. “You want beautiful things, do you? Well, I'll give 'em to you. I'll take care of you.”

“You little—panther!” he whispered. “You want beautiful things, huh? Well, I’ll make that happen for you. I’ll take care of you.”

“Do you think I want them from you?” she retorted, almost in tears. “Do you think I want anybody to take care of me? That shows how little you know me. I want to be independent, to do my work and pay for what I get.”

“Do you think I want them from you?” she shot back, nearly in tears. “Do you really think I want anyone to take care of me? That just shows how little you know me. I want to be independent, to do my own work and pay for what I get.”

Janet herself was far from comprehending the complexity of her feelings. Ditmar had not apologized or feigned an altruism for which she would indeed have despised him. The ruthlessness of his laugh—the laugh of the red-blooded man who makes laws that he himself may be lawless shook her with a wild appeal. “What do I care about any others—I want you!” such was its message. And against this paradoxical wish to be conquered, intensified by the magnetic field of his passion, battled her self-assertion, her pride, her innate desire to be free, to escape now from a domination the thought of which filled her with terror. She felt his cheek brushing against her hair, his fingers straying along her arm; for the moment she was hideously yet deliciously powerless. Then the emotion of terror conquered—terror of the unknown—and she sprang away, dropping her note-book and running to the window, where she stood swaying.

Janet was far from understanding the complexity of her feelings. Ditmar hadn't apologized or pretended to be altruistic in a way that she would have actually hated him for. The harshness of his laugh—the laugh of a man who makes laws while being lawless himself—gave her a wild sense of allure. “What do I care about anyone else—I want you!” that was its message. And against this conflicting desire to be taken over, heightened by the pull of his passion, fought her self-assertion, her pride, her deep need for freedom, to escape from a control that terrified her. She felt his cheek brushing against her hair, his fingers wandering along her arm; for a moment, she was disturbingly yet thrillingly powerless. Then the emotion of fear took over—fear of the unknown—and she jumped away, dropping her notebook and running to the window, where she stood swaying.

“Janet, you're killing me,” she heard him say. “For God's sake, why can't you trust me?”

“Janet, you're driving me crazy,” she heard him say. “Seriously, why can't you trust me?”

She did not answer, but gazed out at the primrose lights beginning to twinkle fantastically in the distant mills. Presently she turned. Ditmar was in his chair. She crossed the room to the electric switch, turning on the flood of light, picked up her tote-book and sat down again.

She didn't respond, but stared at the twinkling primrose lights in the distant mills. After a moment, she turned around. Ditmar was in his chair. She walked across the room to the light switch, turned on the bright lights, picked up her tote bag, and sat down again.

“Don't you intend to answer your letters?” she asked.

“Are you planning to answer your letters?” she asked.

He reached out gropingly toward the pile of his correspondence, seized the topmost letter, and began to dictate, savagely. She experienced a certain exultation, a renewed and pleasurable sense of power as she took down his words.

He reached out awkwardly toward the stack of his letters, grabbed the top one, and started to dictate, angrily. She felt a rush of excitement, a fresh and enjoyable sense of control as she wrote down his words.





CHAPTER IX

At certain moments during the days that followed the degree of tension her relationship with Ditmar had achieved tested the limits of Janet's ingenuity and powers of resistance. Yet the sense of mastery at being able to hold such a man in leash was by no means unpleasurable to a young woman of her vitality and spirit. There was always the excitement that the leash might break—and then what? Here was a situation, she knew instinctively, that could not last, one fraught with all sorts of possibilities, intoxicating or abhorrent to contemplate; and for that very reason fascinating. When she was away from Ditmar and tried to think about it she fell into an abject perplexity, so full was it of anomalies and contradictions, of conflicting impulses; so far beyond her knowledge and experience. For Janet had been born in an age which is rapidly discarding blanket morality and taboos, which has as yet to achieve the morality of scientific knowledge, of the individual instance. Tradition, convention, the awful examples portrayed for gain in the movies, even her mother's pessimistic attitude in regard to the freedom with which the sexes mingle to-day were powerless to influence her. The thought, however, that she might fundamentally resemble her sister Lise, despite a fancied superiority, did occasionally shake her and bring about a revulsion against Ditmar. Janet's problem was in truth, though she failed so to specialize it, the supreme problem of our time: what is the path to self-realization? how achieve emancipation from the commonplace?

At times during the days that followed, the level of tension in Janet's relationship with Ditmar pushed her creativity and resilience to their limits. Still, the thrill of being able to keep such a man under control was definitely pleasurable for a young woman with her energy and spirit. There was always the thrill that the control might slip—and then what? She instinctively knew this situation couldn't last; it was filled with all kinds of possibilities, both exciting and disturbing to think about, and that was precisely what made it captivating. When she was away from Ditmar and tried to think it through, she found herself in complete confusion, as it was filled with weirdities and contradictions, with conflicting desires; it was far beyond her understanding and experience. Janet had been born in an era that is quickly shedding outdated morals and taboos, one that has yet to embrace the morality of scientific knowledge and individual circumstances. Tradition, social norms, the disturbing portrayals for profit in movies, and even her mother's cynical view of how freely the genders interact today had no real effect on her. However, the thought that she might be fundamentally similar to her sister Lise, despite believing she was superior, occasionally unsettled her and caused a backlash against Ditmar. The real issue for Janet, although she struggled to pin it down, was the ultimate question of our time: what is the path to self-realization? How do you break free from the ordinary?

Was she in love with Ditmar? The question was distasteful, she avoided it, for enough of the tatters of orthodox Christianity clung to her to cause her to feel shame when she contemplated the feelings he aroused in her. It was when she asked herself what his intentions were that her resentment burned, pride and a sense of her own value convinced her that he had deeply insulted her in not offering marriage. Plainly, he did not intend to offer marriage; on the other hand, if he had done so, a profound, self-respecting and moral instinct in her would, in her present mood, have led her to refuse. She felt a fine scorn for the woman who, under the circumstances, would insist upon a bond and all a man's worldly goods in return for that which it was her privilege to give freely; while the notion of servility, of economic dependence—though she did not so phrase it—repelled her far more than the possibility of social ruin.

Was she in love with Ditmar? The question made her uncomfortable, so she pushed it away, as enough remnants of traditional Christianity lingered to make her feel ashamed when she thought about the feelings he stirred in her. It was when she wondered what his intentions were that her anger flared up; pride and a sense of her own worth made her believe he had seriously disrespected her by not proposing marriage. Clearly, he didn’t plan to offer marriage; yet, if he had, a strong sense of self-respect and morality within her would have driven her to turn him down in her current state of mind. She felt disdain for any woman who, under these circumstances, would demand a commitment and all of a man's material possessions in exchange for what she could offer freely; the idea of submission, of being financially dependent—though she didn’t articulate it that way—bothered her much more than the risk of social disgrace.

This she did not contemplate at all; her impulse to leave Hampton and Ditmar had nothing to do with that....

This never crossed her mind at all; her urge to leave Hampton and Ditmar had nothing to do with that....

Away from Ditmar, this war of inclinations possessed her waking mind, invaded her dreams. When she likened herself to the other exploited beings he drove to run his mills and fill his orders,—of whom Mr. Siddons had spoken—her resolution to leave Hampton gained such definite ascendancy that her departure seemed only a matter of hours.

Away from Ditmar, this battle of desires occupied her thoughts, invaded her dreams. When she compared herself to the other exploited individuals he had forced to work in his mills and fulfill his orders—whom Mr. Siddons had mentioned—her determination to leave Hampton grew so strong that her departure felt like it was just hours away.

In this perspective Ditmar appeared so ruthless, his purpose to use her and fling her away so palpable, that she despised herself for having hesitated. A longing for retaliation consumed her; she wished to hurt him before she left. At such times, however, unforeseen events invariably intruded to complicate her feelings and alter her plans. One evening at supper, for instance, when she seemed at last to have achieved the comparative peace of mind that follows a decision after struggle, she gradually became aware of an outburst from Hannah concerning the stove, the condition of which for many months had been a menace to the welfare of the family. Edward, it appeared, had remarked mildly on the absence of beans.

In this moment, Ditmar seemed so heartless, his intention to use her and toss her aside so obvious, that she felt ashamed for having hesitated. A desire for revenge consumed her; she wanted to hurt him before she left. However, during such times, unexpected events always seemed to complicate her emotions and change her plans. One evening at dinner, for example, when she finally felt like she had found the peace of mind that comes after making a tough decision, she gradually noticed Hannah explode about the stove, which had been a threat to the family’s well-being for months. It turned out that Edward had casually mentioned the lack of beans.

“Beans!” Hannah cried. “You're lucky to have any supper at all. I just wish I could get you to take a look at that oven—there's a hole you can put your hand through, if you've a mind to. I've done my best, I've made out to patch it from time to time, and to-day I had Mr. Tiernan in. He says it's a miracle I've been able to bake anything. A new one'll cost thirty dollars, and I don't know where the money's coming from to buy it. And the fire-box is most worn through.”

“Beans!” Hannah exclaimed. “You're lucky to have any dinner at all. I just wish you’d check out that oven—there’s a hole you can stick your hand through, if you want to. I’ve done my best, patched it up when I could, and today I had Mr. Tiernan come by. He says it’s amazing I’ve been able to bake anything at all. A new one will cost thirty dollars, and I have no idea where the money’s going to come from to buy it. And the fire-box is almost worn through.”

“Well, mother, we'll see what we can do,” said Edward.

“Well, mom, we'll see what we can do,” said Edward.

“You're always seeing what you can do, but I notice you never do anything,” retorted Hannah; and Edward had the wisdom not to reply. Beside his place lay a lengthy, close-written letter, and from time to time, as he ate his canned pears, his hand turned over one of its many sheets.

“You always talk about what you can do, but I see you never actually do anything,” Hannah shot back; and Edward was smart enough not to respond. Next to him was a long, closely written letter, and occasionally, as he ate his canned pears, he flipped over one of its many pages.

“It's from Eben Wheeler, says he's been considerably troubled with asthma,” he observed presently. “His mother was a Bumpus, a daughter of Caleb-descended from Robert, who went from Dolton to Tewksbury in 1816, and fought in the war of 1812. I've told you about him. This Caleb was born in '53, and he's living now with his daughter's family in Detroit.... Son-in-law's named Nott, doing well with a construction company. Now I never could find out before what became of Robert's descendants. He married Sarah Styles” (reading painfully) “'and they had issue, John, Robert, Anne, Susan, Eliphalet. John went to Middlebury, Vermont, and married.'”

“It's from Eben Wheeler; he says he's been dealing with asthma,” he noted after a moment. “His mother was a Bumpus, a daughter of Caleb, who was descended from Robert, who moved from Dolton to Tewksbury in 1816 and fought in the War of 1812. I've mentioned him to you. This Caleb was born in '53, and he's currently living with his daughter's family in Detroit.... His son-in-law's named Nott and is doing well with a construction company. I never could find out before what happened to Robert's descendants. He married Sarah Styles” (reading painfully) “'and they had children: John, Robert, Anne, Susan, Eliphalet. John went to Middlebury, Vermont, and got married.'”

Hannah, gathering up the plates, clattered them together noisily.

Hannah, grabbing the plates, banged them together loudly.

“A lot of good it does us to have all that information about Eben Wheeler's asthma!” she complained. “It'll buy us a new stove, I guess. Him and his old Bumpus papers! If the house burned down over our heads that's all he'd think of.”

“A lot of good it does us to have all that information about Eben Wheeler's asthma!" she complained. "I guess it'll buy us a new stove. Him and his old Bumpus papers! If the house burned down over our heads, that's all he'd think of.”

As she passed to and fro from the dining-room to the kitchen Hannah's lamentations continued, grew more and more querulous. Accustomed as Janet was to these frequent arraignments of her father's inefficiency, it was gradually borne in upon her now—despite a preoccupation with her own fate—that the affair thus plaintively voiced by her mother was in effect a family crisis of the first magnitude. She was stirred anew to anger and revolt against a life so precarious and sordid as to be threatened in its continuity by the absurd failure of a stove, when, glancing at her sister, she felt a sharp pang of self-conviction, of self-disgust. Was she, also, like that, indifferent and self-absorbed? Lise, in her evening finery, looking occasionally at the clock, was awaiting the hour set for a rendezvous, whiling away the time with the Boston evening sheet whose glaring red headlines stretched across the page. When the newspaper fell to her lap a dreamy expression clouded Lise's eyes. She was thinking of some man! Quickly Janet looked away, at her father, only to be repelled anew by the expression, almost of fatuity, she discovered on his face as he bent over the letter once more. Suddenly she experienced an overwhelming realization of the desperation of Hannah's plight,—the destiny of spending one's days, without sympathy, toiling in the confinement of these rooms to supply their bodily needs. Never had a destiny seemed so appalling. And yet Janet resented that pity. The effect of it was to fetter and inhibit; from the moment of its intrusion she was no longer a free agent, to leave Hampton and Ditmar when she chose. Without her, this family was helpless. She rose, and picked up some of the dishes. Hannah snatched them from her hands.

As Hannah moved back and forth between the dining room and the kitchen, her complaints became more and more whiny. Although Janet was used to hearing her mother criticize her father's ineffectiveness, it was finally sinking in that the issue her mother was lamenting was actually a serious family crisis. She felt a renewed sense of anger and frustration at a life so unstable and bleak that it could be disrupted by the ridiculous failure of a stove. Then, glancing at her sister, she felt a sharp pang of guilt and self-loathing. Was she also indifferent and self-absorbed? Lise, dressed up for the evening, kept checking the clock as she waited for a date, passing the time with the Boston newspaper that had bold red headlines across the page. When the newspaper slipped onto her lap, a dreamy look crossed Lise's face. She was thinking about some guy! Quickly, Janet looked away, focusing on her father, only to be put off again by the almost silly expression she saw on his face as he bent over a letter again. Suddenly, she fully grasped the desperation of Hannah's situation—the fate of spending her days in this place without support, working endlessly to meet their basic needs. Never had a future seemed so dreadful. Yet, Janet resented that feeling of pity. It made her feel trapped and restricted; once that feeling hit her, she could no longer simply leave Hampton and Ditmar whenever she wanted. Without her, this family was powerless. She stood up and started gathering some of the dishes, but Hannah quickly snatched them from her hands.

“Leave 'em alone, Janet!” she said with unaccustomed sharpness. “I guess I ain't too feeble to handle 'em yet.”

“Leave them alone, Janet!” she said with unexpected sharpness. “I guess I'm not too weak to deal with them yet.”

And a flash of new understanding came to Janet. The dishes were vicarious, a substitute for that greater destiny out of which Hannah had been cheated by fate. A substitute, yes, and perhaps become something of a mania, like her father's Bumpus papers.... Janet left the room swiftly, entered the bedroom, put on her coat and hat, and went out. Across the street the light in Mr. Tiernan's shop was still burning, and through the window she perceived Mr. Tiernan himself tilted back in his chair, his feet on the table, the tip of his nose pointed straight at the ceiling. When the bell betrayed the opening of the door he let down his chair on the floor with a bang.

And a sudden realization hit Janet. The dishes were a way to experience something else, a substitute for the bigger destiny that fate had denied Hannah. A substitute, sure, and maybe it had even turned into a bit of an obsession, like her dad's Bumpus papers.... Janet quickly left the room, went into the bedroom, put on her coat and hat, and stepped outside. Across the street, the light in Mr. Tiernan's shop was still on, and through the window, she saw Mr. Tiernan himself reclining in his chair, his feet on the table, the tip of his nose aimed straight at the ceiling. When the bell signaled the door opening, he slammed his chair down onto the floor with a bang.

“Why, it's Miss Janet!” he exclaimed. “How are you this evening, now? I was just hoping some one would pay me a call.”

“Wow, it's Miss Janet!” he said. “How are you this evening? I was just hoping someone would come by to visit.”

Twinkling at her, he managed, somewhat magically, to dispel her temper of pessimism, and she was moved to reply:—“You know you were having a beautiful time, all by yourself.”

Twinkling at her, he somehow managed to magically lift her mood of pessimism, and she felt compelled to respond:—“You know you were having a great time, all on your own.”

“A beautiful time, is it? Maybe it's because I was dreaming of some young lady a-coming to pay me a visit.”

“A beautiful time, isn’t it? Maybe it’s because I was dreaming about a young lady coming to see me.”

“Well, dreams never come up to expectations, do they?”

“Well, dreams never live up to expectations, do they?”

“Then it's dreaming I am, still,” retorted Mr. Tiernan, quickly.

“Then I’m still dreaming,” Mr. Tiernan replied briskly.

Janet laughed. His tone, though bantering, was respectful. One of the secrets of Mr. Tiernan's very human success was due to his ability to estimate his fellow creatures. His manner of treating Janet, for instance, was quite different from that he employed in dealing with Lise. In the course of one interview he had conveyed to Lise, without arousing her antagonism, the conviction that it was wiser to trust him than to attempt to pull wool over his eyes. Janet had the intelligence to trust him; and to-night, as she faced him, the fact was brought home to her with peculiar force that this wiry-haired little man was the person above all others of her immediate acquaintance to seek in time of trouble. It was his great quality. Moreover, Mr. Tiernan, even in his morning greetings as she passed, always contrived to convey to her, in some unaccountable fashion, the admiration and regard in which he held her, and the effect of her contact with him was invariably to give her a certain objective image of herself, an increased self-confidence and self-respect. For instance, by the light dancing in Mr. Tiernan's eyes as he regarded her, she saw herself now as the mainstay of the helpless family in the clay-yellow flat across the street. And there was nothing, she was convinced, Mr. Tiernan did not know about that family. So she said:—“I've come to see about the stove.”

Janet laughed. His tone, while playful, was respectful. One of the secrets to Mr. Tiernan's very human success was his ability to read people. The way he treated Janet, for example, was completely different from how he dealt with Lise. During one meeting, he managed to communicate to Lise, without causing her to push back, that it was smarter to trust him than to think she could outsmart him. Janet had the intelligence to trust him; and tonight, as she faced him, it struck her with unusual intensity that this wiry-haired little man was the person she should turn to in times of trouble. That was his greatest quality. Furthermore, even during their morning greetings as she passed by, Mr. Tiernan always managed to express, in some mysterious way, the admiration and respect he had for her. The effect of being around him always gave her a clearer image of herself, boosting her self-confidence and self-respect. For instance, by the sparkle in Mr. Tiernan's eyes when he looked at her, she saw herself as the backbone of the struggling family in the clay-yellow flat across the street. And she was convinced there was nothing Mr. Tiernan didn't know about that family. So she said, “I've come to see about the stove.”

“Sure,” he replied, as much as to say that the visit was not unexpected. “Well, I've been thinking about it, Miss Janet. I've got a stove here I know'll suit your mother. It's a Reading, it's almost new. Ye'd better be having a look at it yourself.”

“Sure,” he said, making it clear that the visit wasn’t a surprise. “Well, I've been thinking about it, Miss Janet. I have a stove here that I know will be perfect for your mom. It's a Reading, and it's almost new. You should take a look at it yourself.”

He led her into a chaos of stoves, grates, and pipes at the back of the store.

He took her into a messy area filled with stoves, grates, and pipes at the back of the store.

“It's in need of a little polish,” he added, as he turned on a light, “but it's sound, and a good baker, and economical with coal.” He opened the oven and took off the lids.

“It's in need of a little polish,” he added, as he turned on a light, “but it's solid, a good baker, and economical with coal.” He opened the oven and took off the lids.

“I'm afraid I don't know much about stoves,” she told him. “But I'll trust your judgment. How much is it?” she inquired hesitatingly.

“I'm not really familiar with stoves,” she said to him. “But I'll trust your judgment. How much is it?” she asked hesitantly.

He ran his hand through his corkscrewed hair, his familiar gesture.

He ran his hand through his curly hair, a gesture he did often.

“Well, I'm willing to let ye have it for twenty-five dollars. If that's too much—mebbe we can find another.”

“Well, I'm willing to let you have it for twenty-five dollars. If that's too much—maybe we can find another.”

“Can you put it in to-morrow morning?” she asked.

“Can you put it in tomorrow morning?” she asked.

“I can that,” he said. She drew out her purse. “Ye needn't be paying for it all at once,” he protested, laying a hand on her arm. “You won't be running away.”

“I can do that,” he said. She took out her purse. “You don't have to pay for it all at once,” he protested, placing a hand on her arm. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Oh, I'd rather—I have the money,” she declared hurriedly; and she turned her back that he might not perceive, when she had extracted the bills, how little was left in her purse.

“Oh, I’d rather—I have the money,” she said quickly; and she turned her back so he wouldn’t see how little was left in her purse after she took out the bills.

“I'll wager ye won't be wanting another soon,” he said, as he escorted her to the door. And he held it open, politely, looking after her, until she had crossed the street, calling out a cheerful “Goodnight” that had in it something of a benediction. She avoided the dining-room and went straight to bed, in a strange medley of feelings. The self-sacrifice had brought a certain self-satisfaction not wholly unpleasant. She had been equal to the situation, and a part of her being approved of this,—a part which had been suppressed in another mood wherein she had become convinced that self-realization lay elsewhere. Life was indeed a bewildering thing....

“I bet you won’t want another one anytime soon,” he said as he walked her to the door. He held it open politely, watching her until she crossed the street, calling out a cheerful “Goodnight” that felt a bit like a blessing. She skipped the dining room and went straight to bed, feeling a confusing mix of emotions. The self-sacrifice had given her a sense of self-satisfaction that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. She had handled the situation well, and a part of her appreciated this—a part that had been stifled in a different mood when she had convinced herself that self-fulfillment was found elsewhere. Life really is a confusing thing...

The next morning, at breakfast, though her mother's complaints continued, Janet was silent as to her purchase, and she lingered on her return home in the evening because she now felt a reluctance to appear in the role of protector and preserver of the family. She would have preferred, if possible, to give the stove anonymously. Not that the expression of Hannah's gratitude was maudlin; she glared at Janet when she entered the dining-room and exclaimed: “You hadn't ought to have gone and done it!”

The next morning, at breakfast, even though her mom kept complaining, Janet stayed quiet about her purchase. She took her time getting home that evening because she now felt hesitant to play the role of the family's protector. If she could, she would have preferred to give the stove anonymously. It wasn’t that Hannah's gratitude was overly emotional; she shot Janet a glare when she walked into the dining room and said, “You shouldn’t have gone and done that!”

And Janet retorted, with almost equal vehemence:—“Somebody had to do it—didn't they? Who else was there?”

And Janet replied, just as passionately, “Someone had to do it—right? Who else was there?”

“It's a shame for you to spend your money on such things. You'd ought to save it you'll need it,” Hannah continued illogically.

“It's a shame for you to spend your money on that stuff. You should save it; you'll need it,” Hannah continued illogically.

“It's lucky I had the money,” said Janet.

“I'm glad I had the money,” said Janet.

Both Janet and Hannah knew that these recriminations, from the other, were the explosive expressions of deep feeling. Janet knew that her mother was profoundly moved by her sacrifice. She herself was moved by Hannah's plight, but tenderness and pity were complicated by a renewed sense of rebellion against an existence that exacted such a situation.

Both Janet and Hannah understood that their accusations towards each other were intense outbursts of strong emotions. Janet realized that her mother was deeply affected by her sacrifice. She, in turn, felt compassion for Hannah's situation, but her feelings of tenderness and pity were mixed with a fresh sense of defiance against a life that demanded such a scenario.

“I hope the stove's all right, mother,” she said. “Mr. Tiernan seemed to think it was a good one.”

“I hope the stove is okay, Mom,” she said. “Mr. Tiernan seemed to think it was a good one.”

“It's a different thing,” declared Hannah. “I was just wondering this evening, before you came in, how I ever made out to cook anything on the other. Come and see how nice it looks.”

“It's a different thing,” Hannah said. “I was just thinking this evening, before you came in, how I ever managed to cook anything on the other. Come and see how nice it looks.”

Janet followed her into the kitchen. As they stood close together gazing at the new purchase Janet was uncomfortably aware of drops that ran a little way in the furrows of Hannah's cheeks, stopped, and ran on again. She seized her apron and clapped it to her face.

Janet followed her into the kitchen. As they stood close together looking at the new purchase, Janet felt uneasy noticing the drops that ran a little in the lines on Hannah's cheeks, paused, and then continued to run again. She grabbed her apron and pressed it to her face.

“You hadn't ought to be made to do it!” she sobbed.

“You shouldn’t have to do it!” she cried.

And Janet was suddenly impelled to commit an act rare in their intercourse. She kissed her, swiftly, on the cheek, and fled from the room....

And Janet was suddenly driven to do something unusual for them. She quickly kissed her on the cheek and ran out of the room....

Supper was an ordeal. Janet did not relish her enthronement as a heroine, she deplored and even resented her mother's attitude toward her father, which puzzled her; for the studied cruelty of it seemed to belie her affection for him. Every act and gesture and speech of Hannah's took on the complexion of an invidious reference to her reliability as compared with Edward's worthlessness as a provider; and she contrived in some sort to make the meal a sacrament in commemoration of her elder daughter's act.

Supper was a struggle. Janet didn’t enjoy being treated like a heroine; she felt sorry for and even resented her mother’s attitude toward her father, which confused her. The deliberate harshness of it seemed to contradict her love for him. Every action, gesture, and word from Hannah felt like a jab at Janet’s reliability compared to Edward’s failure as a provider, and somehow, she managed to turn the meal into a ritual celebrating her older daughter’s actions.

“I guess you notice the difference in that pork,” she would exclaim, and when he praised it and attributed its excellence to Janet's gift Hannah observed: “As long as you ain't got a son, you're lucky to have a daughter like her!”

“I guess you notice the difference in that pork,” she would exclaim, and when he praised it and credited its excellence to Janet's talent, Hannah remarked: “As long as you don't have a son, you're lucky to have a daughter like her!”

Janet squirmed. Her father's acceptance of his comparative worthlessness was so abject that her pity was transferred to him, though she scorned him, as on former occasions, for the self-depreciation that made him powerless before her mother's reproaches. After the meal was over he sat listlessly on the sofa, like a visitor whose presence is endured, pathetically refraining from that occupation in which his soul found refreshment and peace, the compilation of the Bumpus genealogy. That evening the papers remained under the lid of the desk in the corner, untouched.

Janet squirmed. Her father's complete acceptance of his own worthlessness was so extreme that she felt sorry for him, even though she looked down on him, just like before, for the way he undervalued himself and became helpless in the face of her mother's criticism. After dinner, he sat there on the sofa, like a guest whose presence is tolerated, desperately holding back from what truly brought him joy and comfort, working on the Bumpus family tree. That evening, the papers stayed untouched under the lid of the desk in the corner.

What troubled Janet above all, however, was the attitude of Lise, who also came in for her share of implied reproach. Of late Lise had become an increased source of anxiety to Hannah, who was unwisely resolved to make this occasion an object lesson. And though parental tenderness had often moved her to excuse and defend Lise for an increasing remissness in failing to contribute to the household expenses, she was now quite relentless in her efforts to wring from Lise an acknowledgment of the nobility of her sister's act, of qualities in Janet that she, Lise, might do well to cultivate. Lise was equally determined to withhold any such acknowledgment; in her face grew that familiar mutinous look that Hannah invariably failed to recognize as a danger signal; and with it another—the sophisticated expression of one who knows life and ridicules the lack of such knowledge in others. Its implication was made certain when the two girls were alone in their bedroom after supper. Lise, feverishly occupied with her toilet, on her departure broke the silence there by inquiring:—“Say, if I had your easy money, I might buy a stove, too. How much does Ditmar give you, sweetheart?”

What bothered Janet the most, though, was Lise's attitude, which also drew its share of silent criticism. Recently, Lise had become a bigger source of stress for Hannah, who foolishly decided to use this occasion as a teaching moment. While parental love had often led her to excuse and defend Lise for her increasing failure to pitch in with household expenses, she was now relentless in trying to get Lise to acknowledge the value of her sister’s gesture and the traits in Janet that Lise would benefit from developing. Lise, on the other hand, was just as determined to refuse any such acknowledgment; a familiar rebellious look appeared on her face that Hannah consistently failed to recognize as a warning sign, along with another—an air of sophistication that suggested she understood life and mocked the ignorance of others. This became all the more clear when the two girls were alone in their bedroom after dinner. As Lise busily worked on her appearance, she broke the silence by asking, “Hey, if I had your easy money, I could buy a stove too. How much does Ditmar give you, sweetheart?”

Janet, infuriated, flew at her sister. Lise struggled to escape.

Janet, furious, charged at her sister. Lise fought to get away.

“Leave me go” she whimpered in genuine alarm, and when at length she was released she went to the mirror and began straightening her hat, which had flopped to one side of her head. “I didn't mean nothin', I was only kiddie' you—what's the use of gettin' nutty over a jest?”

“Let me go,” she said in real distress, and when she was finally released, she went to the mirror and started fixing her hat, which had tilted to one side of her head. “I didn't mean anything; I was just messing with you—what’s the point in getting upset over a joke?”

“I'm not like-you,” said Janet.

“I'm not like you,” said Janet.

“I was only kiddin', I tell you,” insisted Lise, with a hat pin in her mouth. “Forget it.”

“I was just joking, I swear,” Lise insisted, with a hat pin in her mouth. “Just forget it.”

When Lise had gone out Janet sat down in the rocking-chair and began to rock agitatedly. What had really made her angry, she began to perceive, was the realization of a certain amount of truth in her sister's intimation concerning Ditmar. Why should she have, in Lise, continually before her eyes a degraded caricature of her own aspirations and ideals? or was Lise a mirror—somewhat tarnished, indeed—in which she read the truth about herself? For some time Janet had more than suspected that her sister possessed a new lover—a lover whom she refrained from discussing; an ominous sign, since it had been her habit to dangle her conquests before Janet's eyes, to discuss their merits and demerits with an engaging though cynical freedom. Although the existence of this gentleman was based on evidence purely circumstantial, Janet was inclined to believe him of a type wholly different from his predecessors; and the fact that his attentions were curiously intermittent and irregular inclined her to the theory that he was not a resident of Hampton. What was he like? It revolted her to reflect that he might in some ways possibly resemble Ditmar. Thus he became the object of a morbid speculation, especially at such times as this, when Lise attired herself in her new winter finery and went forth to meet him. Janet, also, had recently been self-convicted of sharing with Lise the same questionable tendency toward self-adornment to please the eye of man. The very next Saturday night after she had indulged in that mad extravagance of the blue suit, Lise had brought home from the window of The Paris in Faber Street a hat that had excited the cupidity and admiration of Miss Schuler and herself, and in front of which they had stood languishing on three successive evenings. In its acquisition Lise had expended almost the whole of a week's salary. Its colour was purple, on three sides were massed drooping lilac feathers, but over the left ear the wide brim was caught up and held by a crescent of brilliant paste stones. Shortly after this purchase—the next week, in fact,—The Paris had alluringly and craftily displayed, for the tempting sum of $6.29, the very cloak ordained by providence to “go” with the hat. Miss Schuler declared it would be a crime to fail to take advantage of such an opportunity but the trouble was that Lise had had to wait for two more pay-days and endure the suspense arising from the possibility that some young lady of taste and means might meanwhile become its happy proprietor. Had not the saleslady been obdurate, Lise would have had it on credit; but she did succeed, by an initial payment the ensuing Saturday, in having it withdrawn from public gaze. The second Saturday Lise triumphantly brought the cloak home; a velvet cloak,—if the eyes could be believed,—velvet bordering on plush, with a dark purple ground delicately and artistically spotted with a lilac to match the hat feathers, and edged with a material which—if not too impudently examined and no questions asked—might be mistaken, by the uninitiated male, for the fur of a white fox. Both investments had been made, needless to say, on the strength of Janet's increased salary; and Lise, when Janet had surprised her before the bureau rapturously surveying the combination, justified herself with a defiant apology.

When Lise left, Janet settled into the rocking chair and began to rock nervously. What really made her angry, she started to realize, was the awareness of some truth in her sister's hint about Ditmar. Why should she constantly have Lise, a warped reflection of her dreams and ideals, before her? Or was Lise like a mirror—slightly tarnished indeed—through which she saw the truth about herself? For a while, Janet had suspected that her sister had a new boyfriend—a boyfriend she didn’t talk about; this was a bad sign since Lise usually loved to show off her romantic conquests and discuss their pros and cons with an entertaining yet cynical honesty. Though the existence of this guy was based purely on circumstantial evidence, Janet thought he was completely different from the previous ones; his sporadic and inconsistent attention led her to believe he might not even live in Hampton. What was he like? The idea that he might, in some ways, resemble Ditmar disgusted her. Thus, he became the focus of a troubling curiosity, especially at times like this when Lise dressed up in her new winter clothes and went out to meet him. Recently, Janet had also realized that she shared with Lise the same questionable habit of wanting to impress men with her looks. The very next Saturday night after she splurged on that blue suit, Lise had brought home a hat from the display at The Paris on Faber Street that had caught the envy and admiration of Miss Schuler and herself, and they had lingered in front of it for three nights in a row. Lise had spent nearly all of a week's paycheck on it. It was purple, with drooping lilac feathers on three sides, but over the left ear, the wide brim was elegantly held up by a crescent of sparkling fake gems. Shortly after this purchase—actually the following week—The Paris had cleverly showcased, for the tempting price of $6.29, the very cloak that seemed destined to “go” with the hat. Miss Schuler insisted it would be a crime not to take advantage of such an opportunity, but the problem was that Lise had to wait for two more paydays and endure the anxiety of possibly watching some tastefully dressed young lady snap it up in the meantime. Had the saleslady not been firm about it, Lise would have put it on credit; however, she did manage to secure it with an initial payment the following Saturday, removing it from public sight. The next Saturday, Lise triumphantly brought the cloak home; a velvet cloak—if her eyes could be trusted—bordering on plush, with a dark purple base beautifully and artistically dotted with lilac to match the hat feathers, and edged with material that—if not too closely examined and with no questions asked—might be mistaken, by an untrained male, for white fox fur. Both purchases had, needless to say, been made on the back of Janet's increased salary; and when Janet surprised Lise before the dresser, admiring the ensemble, Lise defended herself with a bold apology.

“I just had to have something—what with winter coming on,” she declared, seizing the hand mirror in order to view the back. “You might as well get your clothes chick, while you're about it—and I didn't have to dig up twenty bones, neither—nor anything like it—” a reflection on Janet's most blue suit and her abnormal extravagance. For it was Lise's habit to carry the war into the enemy's country. “Sadie's dippy about it—says it puts her in mind of one of the swells snapshotted in last Sunday's supplement. Well, dearie, how does the effect get you?” and she wheeled around for her sister's inspection.

“I just had to get something—especially with winter coming up,” she said, grabbing the hand mirror to check the back. “You might as well get your clothes all set while you're at it—and I didn't have to spend a fortune, either—nothing like that—” a jab at Janet's bright blue suit and her excessive spending. Lise liked to take the fight to the enemy. “Sadie's crazy about it—says it reminds her of one of the fancy people featured in last Sunday's magazine. So, how does it look to you?” and she turned around for her sister to check it out.

“If you take my advice, you'll be careful not to be caught out in the rain.”

“If you take my advice, you'll be careful not to get caught in the rain.”

“What's chewin' you now?” demanded Lise. She was not lacking in imagination of a certain sort, and Janet's remark did not fail in its purpose of summoning up a somewhat abject image of herself in wet velvet and bedraggled feathers—an image suggestive of a certain hunted type of woman Lise and her kind held in peculiar horror. And she was the more resentful because she felt, instinctively, that the memory of this suggestion would never be completely eradicated: it would persist, like a canker, to mar the completeness of her enjoyment of these clothes. She swung on Janet furiously.

“What's bothering you now?” Lise demanded. She had a certain kind of imagination, and Janet's comment succeeded in bringing up a pretty humiliating picture of herself in wet velvet and messy feathers—an image that reminded Lise and her friends of a type of woman they found particularly unsettling. She felt even more resentful because she sensed, deep down, that the memory of this suggestion would never fully disappear: it would linger, like a sore, ruining her overall enjoyment of these clothes. She turned on Janet furiously.

“I get you, all right!” she cried. “I guess I know what's eatin' you! You've got money to burn and you're sore because I spend mine to buy what I need. You don't know how to dress yourself any more than one of them Polak girls in the mills, and you don't want anybody else to look nice.”

“I get you, for sure!” she shouted. “I guess I understand what's bothering you! You've got money to burn and you're upset because I spend mine on what I need. You can't dress yourself any better than one of those Polish girls in the mills, and you don't want anyone else to look nice.”

And Janet was impelled to make a retort of almost equal crudity:—“If I were a man and saw you in those clothes I wouldn't wait for an introduction. You asked me what I thought. I don't care about the money!” she exclaimed passionately. “I've often told you you were pretty enough without having to wear that kind of thing—to make men stare at you.”

And Janet felt the urge to respond just as bluntly: “If I were a guy and saw you in those clothes, I wouldn't even wait for an introduction. You wanted to know what I thought. I don't care about the money!” she said passionately. “I've told you many times that you're pretty enough without needing to wear that kind of stuff to get men to look at you.”

“I want to know if I don't always look like a lady! And there's no man living would try to pick me up more than once.” The nasal note in Lise's voice had grown higher and shriller, she was almost weeping with anger. “You want me to go 'round lookin' like a floorwasher.”

“I want to know if I don't always look like a lady! And there's no guy out there who would try to pick me up more than once.” The nasal tone in Lise's voice had gotten higher and more piercing; she was almost crying with anger. “You want me to walk around looking like a floor cleaner.”

“I'd rather look like a floorwasher than—than another kind of woman,” Janet declared.

“I'd rather look like a floor cleaner than—than any other kind of woman,” Janet declared.

“Well, you've got your wish, sweetheart,” said Lise. “You needn't be scared anybody will pick you up.”

“Well, you got what you wanted, babe,” Lise said. “You don't have to worry about anyone picking you up.”

“I'm not,” said Janet....

“I'm not,” said Janet....

This quarrel had taken place a week or so before Janet's purchase of the stove. Hannah, too, was outraged by Lise's costume, and had also been moved to protest; futile protest. Its only effect on Lise was to convince her of the existence of a prearranged plan of persecution, to make her more secretive and sullen than ever before.

This argument happened about a week before Janet bought the stove. Hannah was also appalled by Lise's outfit and felt compelled to speak out; it was a pointless protest. The only thing it achieved was to make Lise believe there was a coordinated effort to target her, which only made her more secretive and moody than ever.

“Sometimes I just can't believe she's my daughter,” Hannah said dejectedly to Janet when they were alone together in the kitchen after Lise had gone out. “I'm fond of her because she's my own flesh and blood—I'm ashamed of it, but I can't help it. I guess it's what the minister in Dolton used to call a visitation. I suppose I deserve it, but sometimes I think maybe if your father had been different he might have been able to put a stop to the way she's going on. She ain't like any of the Wenches, nor any of the Bumpuses, so far's I'm able to find out. She just don't seem to have any notion about right and wrong. Well, the world has got all jumbled up—it beats me.”

“Sometimes I just can't believe she's my daughter,” Hannah said sadly to Janet when they were alone in the kitchen after Lise had stepped out. “I care about her because she's my own flesh and blood—I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I can't help it. I guess it's what the minister in Dolton used to call a visitation. I suppose I deserve it, but sometimes I think maybe if your father had been different, he might have been able to stop her from acting this way. She isn’t like any of the Wenches or the Bumpuses, as far as I can tell. She just doesn’t seem to have any sense of right and wrong. Well, the world has become so messed up—it puzzles me.”

Hannah wrung out the mop viciously and hung it over the sink.

Hannah wrung out the mop aggressively and hung it over the sink.

“I used to hope some respectable man would come along, but I've quit hopin'. I don't know as any respectable man would want Lise, or that I could honestly wish him to have her.”

“I used to hope that a decent guy would come along, but I’ve given up on that. I don’t think any decent guy would want Lise, or that I could truly wish for him to have her.”

“Mother!” protested Janet. Sometimes, in those conversations, she was somewhat paradoxically impelled to defend her sister.

“Mom!” protested Janet. Sometimes, during those talks, she felt oddly compelled to defend her sister.

“Well, I don't,” insisted Hannah, “that's a fact. I'll tell you what she looks like in that hat and cloak—a bad woman. I don't say she is—I don't know what I'd do if I thought she was, but I never expected my daughter to look like one.”

“Well, I don't,” insisted Hannah, “that's a fact. I'll tell you what she looks like in that hat and cloak—a bad woman. I don't say she is—I don’t know what I’d do if I thought she was, but I never expected my daughter to look like one.”

“Oh, Lise can take care of herself,” Janet said, in spite of certain recent misgivings.

“Oh, Lise can handle herself,” Janet said, despite some recent doubts.

“This town's Sodom and Gomorrah rolled into one,” declared Hannah who, from early habit, was occasionally prone to use scriptural parallels. And after a moment's silence she inquired: “Who's this man that's payin' her attention now?”

“This town's like Sodom and Gomorrah combined,” Hannah said, who was sometimes prone to use biblical references out of habit. After a moment of silence, she asked, “Who's this guy that's paying her attention now?”

“I don't know,” replied Janet, “I don't know that there's anybody.”

“I don't know,” Janet replied, “I don’t think there’s anyone.”

“I guess there is,” said Hannah. “I used to think that that Wiley was low enough, but I could see him. It was some satisfaction. I could know the worst, anyhow.... I guess it's about time for another flood.”

“I guess there is,” said Hannah. “I used to think that Wiley was pretty low, but I could see him. It was somewhat satisfying. I could know the worst, anyway.... I guess it's about time for another flood.”

This talk had left Janet in one of these introspective states so frequent in her recent experience. Her mother had used the words “right” and “wrong.” But what was “right,” or “wrong?” There was no use asking Hannah, who—she perceived—was as confused and bewildered as herself. Did she refuse to encourage Mr. Ditmar because it was wrong? because, if she acceded to his desires, and what were often her own, she would be punished in an after life? She was not at all sure whether she believed in an after life,—a lack of faith that had, of late, sorely troubled her friend Eda Rawle, who had “got religion” from an itinerant evangelist and was now working off, in a “live” church, some of the emotional idealism which is the result of a balked sex instinct in young unmarried women of a certain mentality and unendowed with good looks. This was not, of course, Janet's explanation of the change in her friend, of whom she now saw less and less. They had had arguments, in which neither gained any ground. For the first time in their intercourse, ideas had come between them, Eda having developed a surprising self-assertion when her new convictions were attacked, a dogged loyalty to a scheme of salvation that Janet found neither inspiring nor convincing. She resented being prayed for, and an Eda fervent in good works bored her more than ever. Eda was deeply pained by Janet's increasing avoidance of her company, yet her heroine-worship persisted. Her continued regard for her friend might possibly be compared to the attitude of an orthodox Baptist who has developed a hobby, let us say, for Napoleon Bonaparte.

This conversation had left Janet in one of those reflective moods that were becoming common for her lately. Her mother had used the terms “right” and “wrong.” But what did “right” or “wrong” even mean? There was no point in asking Hannah, who—Janet noticed—was just as confused and lost as she was. Did she refuse to support Mr. Ditmar because it was wrong? Because if she gave in to his desires, which often mirrored her own, she would face consequences in an afterlife? She wasn't even sure if she believed in an afterlife—this uncertainty had been troubling her friend Eda Rawle, who had “found religion” through a traveling evangelist and was now channeling some of the emotional idealism resulting from unfulfilled desires in young, unmarried women who weren’t particularly attractive. This, however, wasn’t how Janet thought about the change in her friend, whom she was starting to see less and less. They’d had arguments where neither made any headway. For the first time in their friendship, ideas had come between them, with Eda showing a surprising assertiveness when her new beliefs were challenged, displaying a stubborn loyalty to a system of salvation that Janet found neither inspiring nor convincing. She resented being prayed for, and Eda's enthusiasm for good deeds annoyed her more than ever. Eda was genuinely hurt by Janet's growing distance, yet her admiration for her friend continued. Her ongoing affection for Janet could be likened to an orthodox Baptist who has developed a pastime, let’s say, for Napoleon Bonaparte.

Janet was not wholly without remorse. She valued Eda's devotion, she sincerely regretted the fact, on Eda's account as well as her own, that it was a devotion of no use to her in the present crisis nor indeed in any crisis likely to confront her in life: she had felt instinctively from the first that the friendship was not founded on, mental harmony, and now it was brought home to her that Eda's solution could never be hers. Eda would have been thrilled on learning of Ditmar's attentions, would have advocated the adoption of a campaign leading up to matrimony. In matrimony, for Eda, the soul was safe. Eda would have been horrified that Janet should have dallied with any other relationship; God would punish her. Janet, in her conflict between alternate longing and repugnance, was not concerned with the laws and retributions of God. She felt, indeed, the need of counsel, and knew not where to turn for it,—the modern need for other than supernatural sanctions. She did not resist her desire for Ditmar because she believed, in the orthodox sense, that it was wrong, but because it involved a loss of self-respect, a surrender of the personality from the very contemplation of which she shrank. She was a true daughter of her time.

Janet felt some remorse. She appreciated Eda's loyalty and truly regretted that, for both their sakes, it was useless in the current situation or any future challenges she might face. From the start, she sensed that their friendship wasn't based on mental compatibility, and now it was clear to her that Eda's solution could never be her own. Eda would have been excited to hear about Ditmar's interest and would have pushed for a campaign that led to marriage. For Eda, marriage meant safety for the soul. Eda would have been appalled at the idea of Janet entertaining any other relationship; she believed it would bring divine punishment. Janet, caught between wanting and rejecting this connection, didn't think about God's laws and consequences. She did feel the need for guidance but had no idea where to find it—reflecting a modern desire for something beyond spiritual rules. She didn’t resist her feelings for Ditmar because she thought it was wrong in a traditional sense but because she knew it would lead to a loss of self-respect and a surrender of her identity, which she found repulsive. She truly embodied her era.

On Friday afternoon, shortly after Ditmar had begun to dictate his correspondence, Mr. Holster, the agent of the Clarendon Mill, arrived and interrupted him. Janet had taken advantage of the opportunity to file away some answered letters when her attention was distracted from her work by the conversation, which had gradually grown louder. The two men were standing by the window, facing one another, in an attitude that struck her as dramatic. Both were vital figures, dominant types which had survived and prevailed in that upper world of unrelenting struggle for supremacy into which, through her relation to Ditmar, she had been projected, and the significance of which she had now begun to realize. She surveyed Holster critically. He was short, heavily built, with an almost grotesque width of shoulder, a muddy complexion, thick lips, and kinky, greasy black hair that glistened in the sun. His nasal voice was complaining, yet distinctly aggressive, and he emphasized his words by gestures. The veins stood out on his forehead. She wondered what his history had been. She compared him to Ditmar, on whose dust-grey face she was quick to detect a look she had seen before—a contraction of the eyes, a tightening of the muscles of the jaw. That look, and the peculiarly set attitude of the body accompanying it, aroused in her a responsive sense of championship.

On Friday afternoon, just after Ditmar started dictating his correspondence, Mr. Holster, the agent from Clarendon Mill, showed up and interrupted him. Janet took the chance to organize some answered letters when she got distracted by their conversation, which had gradually gotten louder. The two men were standing by the window, facing each other in a way that felt dramatic to her. Both were strong personalities, dominant types who had survived and thrived in that tough world of constant competition for power, a world she was beginning to understand through her connection to Ditmar. She looked at Holster critically. He was short, stocky, with almost exaggeratedly broad shoulders, a dull complexion, thick lips, and curly, greasy black hair that shone in the sunlight. His nasal voice had a whiny tone but was also clearly aggressive, and he gestured emphatically as he spoke. The veins stood out on his forehead. She found herself curious about his past. She compared him to Ditmar, noticing a look she recognized on Ditmar's dust-grey face—a squint in his eyes and a tightness in his jaw. That look, along with the oddly tense position of his body, stirred something in her, a feeling of wanting to stand up for him.

“All right, Ditmar,” she heard the other exclaim. “I tell you again you'll never be able to pull it off.”

“All right, Ditmar,” she heard the other person exclaim. “I’m telling you again, you’ll never be able to pull it off.”

Ditmar's laugh was short, defiant.

Ditmar's laugh was brief and defiant.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Why not! Because the fifty-four hour law goes into effect in January.”

“Why not! Because the fifty-four hour law kicks in this January.”

“What's that got to do with it?” Ditmar demanded.

“What's that got to do with anything?” Ditmar asked.

“You'll see—you'll remember what I told you fellows at the conference after that bill went through and that damned demagogue of a governor insisted on signing it. I said, if we tried to cut wages down to a fifty-four hour basis we'd have a strike on our hands in every mill in Hampton,—didn't I? I said it would cost us millions of dollars, and make all the other strikes we've had here look like fifty cents. Didn't I say that? Hammond, our president, backed me up, and Rogers of the wool people. You remember? You were the man who stood out against it, and they listened to you, they voted to cut down the pay and say nothing about it. Wait until those first pay envelopes are opened after that law goes into effect. You'll see what'll happen! You'll never be able to fill that Bradlaugh order in God's world.”

“You'll see—you'll remember what I told you guys at the conference after that bill passed and that damned demagogue of a governor insisted on signing it. I said if we tried to cut wages down to a fifty-four hour basis, we'd have a strike on our hands in every mill in Hampton—didn't I? I said it would cost us millions of dollars, and make all the other strikes we've had here look like pocket change. Didn't I say that? Hammond, our president, backed me up, and Rogers from the wool folks. You remember? You were the one who stood against it, and they listened to you; they voted to reduce the pay and said nothing about it. Just wait until those first pay envelopes are opened after that law kicks in. You'll see what happens! You'll never be able to fill that Bradlaugh order in this world.”

“Oh hell,” retorted Ditmar, contemptuously. “You're always for lying down, Holster. Why don't you hand over your mill to the unions and go to work on a farm? You might as well, if you're going to let the unions run the state. Why not have socialism right now, and cut out the agony? When they got the politicians to make the last cut from fifty-six to fifty-four and we kept on payin' 'em for fifty-six, against my advice, what happened? Did they thank us? I guess not. Were they contented? Not on your life. They went right on agitating, throwing scares into the party conventions and into the House and Senate Committees,—and now it's fifty-four hours. It'll be fifty in a couple of years, and then we'll have to scrap our machinery and turn over the trade to the South and donate our mills to the state for insane asylums.”

“Oh come on,” Ditmar shot back, with a sneer. “You’re always ready to give up, Holster. Why don’t you just hand your mill over to the unions and start farming? You might as well, if you’re going to let the unions control everything. Why not just go full socialism now and skip the hassle? When they got the politicians to lower the working hours from fifty-six to fifty-four and we kept paying them for fifty-six, despite my warnings, what happened? Did they appreciate it? I doubt it. Were they satisfied? Not a chance. They just kept stirring up trouble, causing panic at the party conventions and in the House and Senate committees—and now it’s down to fifty-four hours. In a couple of years, it’ll be fifty, and then we’ll have to scrap our machines, hand our trade over to the South, and donate our mills to the state for mental hospitals.”

“No, if we handle this thing right, we'll have the public on our side. They're getting sick of the unions now.”

“No, if we manage this the right way, we'll have the public on our side. They’re getting fed up with the unions now.”

Ditmar went to the desk for a cigar, bit it off, and lighted it.

Ditmar walked over to the desk for a cigar, bit off the end, and lit it.

“The public!” he exclaimed contemptuously. “A whole lot of good they'll do us.”

“The public!” he exclaimed with disdain. “What good will they do us?”

Holster approached him, menacingly, until the two men stood almost touching, and for a moment it seemed to Janet as if the agent of the Clarendon were ready to strike Ditmar. She held her breath, her blood ran faster,—the conflict between these two made an elemental appeal.

Holster moved closer to him, threateningly, until the two men were nearly touching, and for a moment, it looked to Janet like the agent from Clarendon was about to hit Ditmar. She held her breath, her heart raced—the tension between them felt intense and raw.

“All right—remember what I say—wait and see where you come out with that order.” Holster's voice trembled with anger. He hesitated, and left the office abruptly. Ditmar stood gazing after him for a moment and then, taking his cigar from his mouth, turned and smiled at Janet and seated himself in his chair. His eyes, still narrowed, had in them a gleam of triumph that thrilled her. Combat seemed to stimulate and energize him.

“All right—just remember what I said—wait and see where that order takes you.” Holster's voice shook with anger. He paused for a moment and then left the office suddenly. Ditmar stood watching him go for a bit before taking his cigar out of his mouth, turning to smile at Janet, and sitting down in his chair. His eyes, still narrowed, sparkled with a gleam of triumph that excited her. Fighting seemed to boost and energize him.

“He thought he could bluff me into splitting that Bradlaugh order with the Clarendon,” Ditmar exclaimed. “Well, he'll have to guess again. I've got his number.” He began to turn over his letters. “Let's see, where were we? Tell Caldwell not to let in any more idiots, and shut the door.”

“He thought he could trick me into sharing that Bradlaugh order with the Clarendon,” Ditmar exclaimed. “Well, he’ll have to think again. I’ve got him figured out.” He started sifting through his letters. “Let’s see, where were we? Tell Caldwell not to let any more fools in, and close the door.”

Janet obeyed, and when she returned Ditmar was making notes with a pencil on a pad. The conversation with Holter had given her a new idea of Ditmar's daring in attempting to fill the Bradlaugh order with the Chippering Mills alone, had aroused in her more strongly than ever that hot loyalty to the mills with which he had inspired her; and that strange surge of sympathy, of fellow-feeling for the operatives she had experienced after the interview with Mr. Siddons, of rebellion against him, the conviction that she also was one of the slaves he exploited, had wholly disappeared. Ditmar was the Chippering Mills, and she, somehow, enlisted once again on his side.

Janet did as she was told, and when she came back, Ditmar was jotting down notes with a pencil on a pad. Her conversation with Holter had given her a fresh perspective on Ditmar's boldness in trying to fulfill the Bradlaugh order using only the Chippering Mills, and it had intensified her loyalty to the mills that he had instilled in her. The strange feeling of sympathy and solidarity with the workers that she had felt after her meeting with Mr. Siddons, along with her rebellious feelings against him and the belief that she was just another one of the people he exploited, had completely faded away. Ditmar represented the Chippering Mills, and somehow, she found herself on his side once again.

“By the way,” he said abruptly, “you won't mention this—I know.”

“By the way,” he said suddenly, “you won’t bring this up—I know.”

“Won't mention what?” she asked.

"What's not being mentioned?" she asked.

“This matter about the pay envelopes—that we don't intend to continue giving the operatives fifty-six hours' pay for fifty-four when this law goes into effect. They're like animals, most of 'em, they don't reason, and it might make trouble if it got out now. You understand. They'd have time to brood over it, to get the agitators started. When the time comes they may kick a little, but they'll quiet down. And it'll teach 'em a lesson.”

“This situation with the pay envelopes—we're not planning to keep giving the workers fifty-six hours' pay for fifty-four when this law kicks in. Most of them are like animals; they don’t think things through, and it could cause problems if word got out now. Do you understand? They’d have time to overthink it, to get the troublemakers involved. When the time comes, they might protest a bit, but they’ll settle down. And it will teach them a lesson.”

“I never mention anything I hear in this office,” she told him.

“I never talk about anything I hear in this office,” she told him.

“I know you don't,” he assured her, apologetically. “I oughtn't to have said that—it was only to put you on your guard, in case you heard it spoken of. You see how important it is, how much trouble an agitator might make by getting them stirred up? You can see what it means to me, with this order on my hands. I've staked everything on it.”

“I know you don't,” he assured her, apologetically. “I shouldn’t have said that—it was just to make you aware, in case you heard someone mention it. You see how important this is, how much trouble a troublemaker could cause by getting them riled up? You understand what it means for me, with this order on my hands. I've put everything on the line for it.”

“But—when the law goes into effect? when the operatives find out that they are not receiving their full wages—as Mr. Holster said?” Janet inquired.

“But—when does the law take effect? What happens when the workers find out that they’re not getting their full pay—as Mr. Holster mentioned?” Janet asked.

“Why, they may grumble a little—but I'll be on the lookout for any move. I'll see to that. I'll teach 'em a lesson as to how far they can push this business of shorter hours and equal pay. It's the unskilled workers who are mostly affected, you understand, and they're not organized. If we can keep out the agitators, we're all right. Even then, I'll show 'em they can't come in here and exploit my operatives.”

“Sure, they might complain a bit—but I'll be ready for any moves they make. I'll make sure of that. I'll teach them a lesson about how far they can go with this whole shorter hours and equal pay thing. It’s mainly the unskilled workers who are impacted, you see, and they’re not organized. If we can keep the troublemakers out, we’re fine. Even then, I’ll show them they can’t just come in here and take advantage of my workers.”

In the mood in which she found herself his self-confidence, his aggressiveness continued to inspire and even to agitate her, to compel her to accept his point of view.

In the mood she was in, his self-confidence and assertiveness continued to inspire and even unsettle her, forcing her to agree with his perspective.

“Why,” he continued, “I trust you as I never trusted anybody else. I've told you that before. Ever since you've been here you've made life a different thing for me—just by your being here. I don't know what I'd do without you. You've got so much sense about things—about people,—and I sometimes think you've got almost the same feeling about these mills that I have. You didn't tell me you went through the mills with Caldwell the other day,” he added, accusingly.

“Why,” he continued, “I trust you like I've never trusted anyone else. I’ve said that before. Ever since you arrived, you’ve changed my life—just by being here. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You have so much insight about things—about people—and I sometimes feel like you share the same feelings about these mills as I do. You didn’t mention that you went through the mills with Caldwell the other day,” he added, accusingly.

“I—I forgot,” said Janet. “Why should I tell—you?” She knew that all thought of Holster had already slipped from his mind. She did not look up. “If you're not going to finish your letters,” she said, a little faintly, “I've got some copying to do.”

“I—I forgot,” said Janet. “Why should I tell you?” She knew that all thought of Holster had already faded from his mind. She didn’t look up. “If you’re not going to finish your letters,” she said, a bit weakly, “I’ve got some copying to do.”

“You're a deep one,” he said. And as he turned to the pile of correspondence she heard him sigh. He began to dictate. She took down his sentences automatically, scarcely knowing what she was writing; he was making love to her as intensely as though his words had been the absolute expression of his desire instead of the commonplace mediums of commercial intercourse. Presently he stopped and began fumbling in one of the drawers of his desk.

“You’re quite something,” he said. When he turned to the stack of letters, she heard him sigh. He started to dictate. She typed out his sentences on autopilot, barely aware of what she was writing; he was flirting with her as passionately as if his words were the purest expression of his desire rather than just the usual tools of business communication. Soon, he stopped and started rummaging through one of the drawers of his desk.

“Where is the memorandum I made last week for Percy and Company?”

“Where's the memo I created last week for Percy and Company?”

“Isn't it there?” she asked.

"Isn't it there?" she asked.

But he continued to fumble, running through the papers and disarranging them until she could stand it no longer.

But he kept fumbling, tossing the papers around and making a mess until she couldn’t take it anymore.

“You never know where to find anything,” she declared, rising and darting around the desk and bending over the drawer, her deft fingers rapidly separating the papers. She drew forth the memorandum triumphantly.

“You never know where to find anything,” she said, getting up and moving around the desk, bending over the drawer as her quick fingers sorted through the papers. She pulled out the memorandum with triumph.

“There!” she exclaimed. “It was right before your eyes.”

“There!” she said. “It was right in front of you.”

As she thrust it at him his hand closed over hers. She felt him drawing her, irresistibly.

As she pushed it toward him, his hand wrapped around hers. She felt him pulling her in, uncontrollably.

“Janet!” he said. “For God's sake—you're killing me—don't you know it? I can't stand it any longer!”

“Janet!” he said. “For heaven's sake—you’re driving me crazy—don’t you get it? I can’t take it anymore!”

“Don't!” she whispered, terror-stricken, straining away from him. “Mr. Ditmar—let me go!”

“Don’t!” she whispered, terrified, pulling away from him. “Mr. Ditmar—let me go!”

A silent struggle ensued, she resisting him with all the aroused strength and fierceness of her nature. He kissed her hair, her neck,—she had never imagined such a force as this, she felt herself weakening, welcoming the annihilation of his embrace.

A quiet battle took place, with her pushing back against him using all the awakened strength and intensity of her being. He kissed her hair and her neck—she had never experienced such power before; she felt herself losing control, embracing the end that came with his hold.

“Mr. Ditmar!” she cried. “Somebody will come in.”

“Mr. Ditmar!” she shouted. “Someone will come in.”

Her fingers sank into his neck, she tried to hurt him and by a final effort flung herself free and fled to the other side of the room.

Her fingers dug into his neck as she tried to hurt him, and with one last effort, she broke free and ran to the other side of the room.

“You little—wildcat!” she heard him exclaim, saw him put his handkerchief to his neck where her fingers had been, saw a red stain on it. “I'll have you yet!”

“You little—wildcat!” she heard him shout, saw him press his handkerchief to his neck where her fingers had been, noticed a red stain on it. “I’ll get you yet!”

But even then, as she stood leaning against the wall, motionless save for the surging of her breast, there was about her the same strange, feral inscrutableness. He was baffled, he could not tell what she was thinking. She seemed, unconquered, to triumph over her disarray and the agitation of her body. Then, with an involuntary gesture she raised her hands to her hair, smoothing it, and without seeming haste left the room, not so much as glancing at him, closing the door behind her.

But even then, as she stood against the wall, still except for the rise and fall of her chest, there was still that same strange, wild mystery about her. He was confused; he couldn't figure out what she was thinking. She seemed to triumph over her disorder and the anxiety in her body, unconquered. Then, with a natural gesture, she raised her hands to her hair, smoothing it out, and without rushing, she left the room, barely glancing at him, closing the door behind her.

She reached her table in the outer office and sat down, gazing out of the window. The face of the world—the river, the mills, and the bridge—was changed, tinged with a new and unreal quality. She, too, must be changed. She wasn't, couldn't be the same person who had entered that room of Ditmar's earlier in the afternoon! Mr. Caldwell made a commonplace remark, she heard herself answer him. Her mind was numb, only her body seemed swept by fire, by emotions—emotions of fear, of anger, of desire so intense as to make her helpless. And when at length she reached out for a sheet of carbon paper her hand trembled so she could scarcely hold it. Only by degrees was she able to get sufficient control of herself to begin her copying, when she found a certain relief in action—her hands flying over the keys, tearing off the finished sheets, and replacing them with others. She did not want to think, to decide, and yet she knew—something was trying to tell her that the moment for decision had come. She must leave, now. If she stayed on, this tremendous adventure she longed for and dreaded was inevitable. Fear and fascination battled within her. To run away was to deny life; to remain, to taste and savour it. She had tasted it—was it sweet?—that sense of being swept away, engulfed by an elemental power beyond them both, yet in them both? She felt him drawing her to him, and she struggling yet inwardly longing to yield. And the scarlet stain on his handkerchief—when she thought of that her blood throbbed, her face burned.

She got to her desk in the outer office and sat down, staring out the window. The world outside—the river, the mills, and the bridge—looked different, almost surreal. She, too, must have changed. She couldn’t possibly be the same person who had walked into Ditmar's office earlier that afternoon! Mr. Caldwell made a typical comment, and she heard herself respond. Her mind felt blank; only her body was on fire with emotions—fear, anger, and a desire so intense it left her feeling powerless. When she finally reached for a piece of carbon paper, her hand shook so much she could barely hold it. Gradually, she managed to regain enough control to start copying, finding some relief in the action—her fingers flying over the keys, crumpling the completed sheets, and putting new ones in place. She didn’t want to think or make decisions, yet she knew—something was telling her the time to make a choice had come. She had to leave, now. If she stayed, this huge adventure she both craved and feared would be unavoidable. Fear and fascination wrestled inside her. To run away would mean denying life; to stay meant experiencing it fully. She had felt it—was it sweet?—that feeling of being swept away, consumed by a raw power that existed in both of them? She sensed him pulling her closer, and she was both resisting and inwardly wanting to give in. And the red stain on his handkerchief—just thinking about it made her heart race and her face flush.

At last the door of the inner office opened, and Ditmar came out and stood by the rail. His voice was queer, scarcely recognizable.

At last, the door to the inner office opened, and Ditmar came out and stood by the rail. His voice sounded strange, barely recognizable.

“Miss Bumpus—would you mind coming into my room a moment, before you leave?” he said.

“Miss Bumpus—could you come into my room for a moment before you leave?” he said.

She rose instantly and followed him, closing the door behind her, but standing at bay against it, her hand on the knob.

She immediately got up and followed him, closing the door behind her, but then stood against it with her hand on the doorknob.

“I'm not going to touch you—you needn't be afraid,” he said. Reassured by the unsteadiness of his voice she raised her eyes to perceive that his face was ashy, his manner nervous, apprehensive, conciliatory,—a Ditmar she had difficulty in recognizing. “I didn't mean to frighten, to offend you,” he went on. “Something got hold of me. I was crazy, I couldn't help it—I won't do it again, if you'll stay. I give you my word.”

“I'm not going to touch you—you don’t need to be scared,” he said. Reassured by the shakiness in his voice, she looked up and noticed that his face was pale, his demeanor nervous, anxious, and trying to placate her— a Ditmar she found hard to recognize. “I didn’t mean to scare or upset you,” he continued. “Something just took over me. I was out of control, I couldn’t help it—I won’t do it again, if you stay. You have my word.”

She did not reply. After a pause he began again, repeating himself.

She didn’t respond. After a moment, he started again, saying the same thing.

“I didn't mean to do it. I was carried away—it all happened before I knew. I—I wouldn't frighten you that way for anything in the world.”

“I didn't mean to do it. I got caught up in the moment—it all happened before I realized. I—I would never want to scare you like that for anything in the world.”

Still she was silent.

She remained silent.

“For God's sake, speak to me!” he cried. “Say you forgive me—give me another chance!”

“For God's sake, talk to me!” he shouted. “Say you forgive me—give me another shot!”

But she continued to gaze at him with widened, enigmatic eyes—whether of reproach or contempt or anger he could not say. The situation transcended his experience. He took an uncertain step toward her, as though half expecting her to flee, and stopped.

But she kept looking at him with wide, mysterious eyes—whether out of reproach, contempt, or anger, he couldn’t tell. The situation was beyond his experience. He took a hesitant step toward her, almost expecting her to run away, and then stopped.

“Listen!” he pleaded. “I can't talk to you here. Won't you give me a chance to explain—to put myself right? You know what I think of you, how I respect and—admire you. If you'll only let me see you somewhere—anywhere, outside of the office, for a little while, I can't tell you how much I'd appreciate it. I'm sure you don't understand how I feel—I couldn't bear to lose you. I'll be down by the canal—near the bridge—at eight o'clock to-night. I'll wait for you. You'll come? Say you'll come, and give me another chance!”

“Listen!” he begged. “I can't talk to you here. Please give me a chance to explain myself. You know how I feel about you, how much I respect and admire you. If you could just let me see you somewhere—anywhere, outside of the office, for a little while, I would really appreciate it. I don't think you understand how I feel—I couldn't stand to lose you. I'll be down by the canal—near the bridge—at eight o'clock tonight. I'll wait for you. You will come? Please say you'll come and give me another chance!”

“Aren't you going to finish your letters?” she asked.

“Aren't you going to finish your letters?” she asked.

He stared at her in sheer perplexity. “Letters!” he exclaimed. “Damn the letters! Do you think I could write any letters now?”

He looked at her in total confusion. “Letters!” he exclaimed. “Forget the letters! Do you think I can write any letters right now?”

As a faint ray in dark waters, a gleam seemed to dance in the shadows of her eyes, yet was gone so swiftly that he could not be sure of having seen it. Had she smiled?

As a faint light in dark water, a glimmer seemed to dance in the shadows of her eyes, but it disappeared so quickly that he couldn't be sure he had seen it. Did she smile?

“I'll be there,” he cried. “I'll wait for you.”

“I'll be there,” he shouted. “I'll wait for you.”

She turned from him, opened the door, and went out.

She turned away from him, opened the door, and stepped outside.

That evening, as Janet was wiping the dishes handed her by her mother, she was repeating to herself “Shall I go—or shan't I?”—just as if the matter were in doubt. But in her heart she was convinced of its predetermination by some power other than her own volition. With this feeling, that she really had no choice, that she was being guided and impelled, she went to her bedroom after finishing her task. The hands of the old dining-room clock pointed to quarter of eight, and Lise had already made her toilet and departed. Janet opened the wardrobe, looked at the new blue suit hanging so neatly on its wire holder, hesitated, and closed the door again. Here, at any rate, seemed a choice. She would not wear that, to-night. She tidied her hair, put on her hat and coat, and went out; but once in the street she did not hurry, though she knew the calmness she apparently experienced to be false: the calmness of fatality, because she was obeying a complicated impulse stronger than herself—an impulse that at times seemed mere curiosity. Somewhere, removed from her immediate consciousness, a storm was raging; she was aware of a disturbance that reached her faintly, like the distant throbbing of the looms she heard when she turned from Faber into West Street She had not been able to eat any supper. That throbbing of the looms in the night! As it grew louder and louder the tension within her increased, broke its bounds, set her heart to throbbing too—throbbing wildly. She halted, and went on again, precipitately, but once more slowed her steps as she came to West Street and the glare of light at the end of the bridge; at a little distance, under the chequered shadows of the bare branches, she saw something move—a man, Ditmar. She stood motionless as he hurried toward her.

That evening, as Janet was drying the dishes her mother handed her, she kept saying to herself, “Should I go—or shouldn’t I?”—as if it were still a question. But deep down, she was sure it was already decided by some force beyond her control. Feeling that she really had no choice, that she was being led and pushed, she went to her bedroom once she finished her chores. The old dining room clock said it was a quarter to eight, and Lise had already gotten ready and left. Janet opened the closet, looked at the new blue suit hanging neatly on its hanger, hesitated, and then closed the door again. Here, at least, it felt like there was a choice. She wouldn’t wear that tonight. She fixed her hair, put on her hat and coat, and went outside; but once on the street, she didn’t rush, even though she knew the calm she seemed to feel was just a façade: a calmness of fate, because she was following a complicated impulse stronger than herself—an impulse that sometimes felt like mere curiosity. Somewhere, beneath her conscious thoughts, a storm was brewing; she sensed a disturbance faintly, like the distant pounding of the looms she heard when she turned from Faber onto West Street. She hadn’t been able to eat any dinner. That pounding of the looms at night! As it grew louder, the tension inside her built up, broke free, and made her heart beat wildly. She stopped, then continued on quickly, but slowed down again as she reached West Street and the bright lights at the end of the bridge; a little distance away, under the patterned shadows of the bare branches, she saw something move—a man, Ditmar. She stood still as he hurried toward her.

“You've come! You've forgiven me?” he asked.

"You made it! You forgave me?" he asked.

“Why were you—down there?” she asked.

“Why were you—down there?” she asked.

“Why? Because I thought—I thought you wouldn't want anybody to know—”

“Why? Because I thought—I thought you wouldn’t want anyone to find out—”

It was quite natural that he should not wish to be seen; although she had no feeling of guilt, she herself did not wish their meeting known. She resented the subterfuge in him, but she made no comment because his perplexity, his embarrassment were gratifying to her resentment, were restoring her self-possession, giving her a sense of power.

It was completely understandable that he didn't want to be seen; even though she felt no guilt, she also didn't want anyone to know about their meeting. She disliked his deceit but didn't say anything because his confusion and embarrassment satisfied her resentment, helped her regain her composure, and gave her a feeling of power.

“We can't stay here,” he went on, after a moment. “Let's take a little walk—I've got a lot to say to you. I want to put myself right.” He tried to take her arm, but she avoided him. They started along the canal in the direction of the Stanley Street bridge. “Don't you care for me a little?” he demanded.

“We can't stay here,” he continued after a moment. “Let's take a little walk—I have a lot to say to you. I want to clear the air.” He tried to take her arm, but she pulled away. They began walking along the canal toward the Stanley Street bridge. “Don’t you care about me at all?” he asked.

“Why should I?” she parried.

“Why should I?” she retorted.

“Then—why did you come?”

"Then—what made you come?"

“To hear what you had to say.”

“To hear what you have to say.”

“You mean—about this afternoon?”

"You mean—about today afternoon?"

“Partly,” said Janet.

"Partly," Janet replied.

“Well—we'll talk it all over. I wanted to explain about this afternoon, especially. I'm sorry—”

“Well—we'll discuss everything. I wanted to explain about this afternoon, in particular. I'm sorry—”

“Sorry!” she exclaimed.

“Sorry!” she said.

The vehemence of her rebuke—for he recognized it as such—took him completely aback. Thus she was wont, at the most unexpected moments, to betray the passion within her, the passion that made him sick with desire. How was he to conquer a woman of this type, who never took refuge in the conventional tactics of her sex, as he had known them?

The intensity of her criticism—he knew it was that—caught him completely off guard. She had a knack for revealing her inner fire at the most surprising times, a fire that made him feel dizzy with longing. How was he supposed to win over a woman like her, who never relied on the usual strategies of her gender, as he had experienced them?

“I didn't mean that,” he explained desperately. “My God—to feel you, to have you in my arms—! I was sorry because I frightened you. But when you came near me that way I just couldn't help it. You drove me to it.”

“I didn't mean that,” he said urgently. “Oh my God—to feel you, to have you in my arms—! I was sorry because I scared you. But when you got close to me like that, I just couldn't help it. You pushed me to it.”

“Drove you to it!”

"Got you into this!"

“You don't understand, you don't know how—how wonderful you are. You make me crazy. I love you, I want you as I've never wanted any woman before—in a different way. I can't explain it. I've got so that I can't live without you.” He flung his arm toward the lights of the mills. “That—that used to be everything to me, I lived for it. I don't say I've been a saint—but I never really cared anything about any woman until I knew you, until that day I went through the office and saw you what you were. You don't understand, I tell you. I'm sorry for what I did to-day because it offended you—but you drove me to it. Most of the time you seem cold, you're like an iceberg, you make me think you hate me, and then all of a sudden you'll be kind, as you were the other night, as you seemed this afternoon—you make me think I've got a chance, and then, when you came near me, when you touched my hand—why, I didn't know what I was doing. I just had to have you. A man like me can't stand it.”

“You don't get it, you have no idea how amazing you are. You drive me crazy. I love you, I want you more than I've ever wanted any woman—it's different this time. I can't put it into words. I've reached a point where I can't live without you.” He waved his arm towards the mill lights. “That— that used to mean everything to me, I lived for it. I'm not saying I've been perfect—but I never really cared about any woman until I met you, until that day I walked through the office and saw you for who you are. You don't get it, I’m telling you. I regret what I did today because it upset you—but you pushed me to it. Most of the time you seem so distant, like an iceberg, it makes me think you can't stand me, and then suddenly you'll be warm, like you were the other night, like you seemed this afternoon—you make me think I have a chance, and then, when you were close to me, when you touched my hand—honestly, I lost control. I just had to have you. A guy like me can't take it.”

“Then I'd better go away,” she said. “I ought to have gone long ago.”

“Then I should just leave,” she said. “I should have left a long time ago.”

“Why?” he cried. “Why? What's your reason? Why do you want to ruin my life? You've—you've woven yourself into it—you're a part of it. I never knew what it was to care for a woman before, I tell you. There's that mill,” he repeated, naively. “I've made it the best mill in the country, I've got the biggest order that ever came to any mill—if you went away I wouldn't care a continental about it. If you went away I wouldn't have any ambition left. Because you're a part of it, don't you see? You—you sort of stand for it now, in my mind. I'm not literary, I can't express what I'd like to say, but sometimes I used to think of that mill as a woman—and now you've come along—” Ditmar stopped, for lack of adequate eloquence.

“Why?” he shouted. “Why? What’s your reason? Why do you want to ruin my life? You've woven yourself into it—you’re a part of it. I never knew what it was to care for a woman before, I tell you. There's that mill,” he repeated, naively. “I've made it the best mill in the country, I've got the biggest order that’s ever come to any mill—if you left, I wouldn’t care at all. If you left, I wouldn’t have any ambition left. Because you’re a part of it, don’t you see? You sort of represent it now, in my mind. I’m not good with words, I can't express what I want to say, but sometimes I used to think of that mill as a woman—and now you’ve come along—” Ditmar stopped, struggling to find the right words.

She smiled in the darkness at his boyish fervour,—one of the aspects of the successful Ditmar, the Ditmar of great affairs, that appealed to her most strongly. She was softened, touched; she felt, too, a responsive thrill to such a desire as his. Yet she did not reply. She could not. She was learning that emotion is never simple. And some inhibition, the identity of which was temporarily obscured still persisted, pervading her consciousness....

She smiled in the darkness at his youthful enthusiasm—one of the qualities of the successful Ditmar, the Ditmar of big projects, that attracted her the most. She felt softened and moved; she also experienced a similar excitement to his longing. Yet she didn’t respond. She couldn’t. She was realizing that emotions are never straightforward. And some kind of restraint, the exact nature of which was still unclear, remained, filling her mind...

They were crossing the bridge at Stanley Street, now deserted, and by common consent they paused in the middle of it, leaning on the rail. The hideous chocolate factory on the point was concealed by the night,—only the lights were there, trembling on the surface of the river. Against the flushed sky above the city were silhouetted the high chimneys of the power plant. Ditmar's shoulder touched hers. He was still pleading, but she seemed rather to be listening to the symphony of the unseen waters falling over the dam. His words were like that, suggestive of a torrent into which she longed to fling herself, yet refrained, without knowing why. Her hands tightened on the rail; suddenly she let it go, and led the way toward the unfrequented district of the south side. It was the road to Silliston, but she had forgotten that. Ditmar, regaining her side, continued his pleading. He spoke of his loneliness, which he had never realized. He needed her. And she experienced an answering pang. It still seemed incredible that he, too, who had so much, should feel that gnawing need for human sympathy and understanding that had so often made her unhappy. And because of the response his need aroused in her she did not reflect whether he could fulfil her own need, whether he could ever understand her; whether, at any time, she could unreservedly pour herself out to him.

They were crossing the bridge on Stanley Street, now empty, and they both decided to stop in the middle of it, leaning on the railing. The ugly chocolate factory at the point was hidden by the night—only the lights were visible, shimmering on the river's surface. Against the glowing sky above the city, the tall chimneys of the power plant stood out. Ditmar's shoulder bumped against hers. He was still pleading, but she seemed more focused on the symphony of the unseen waters spilling over the dam. His words were like that, tempting her to dive into a torrent she both craved and hesitated to join, not knowing why. Her hands tightened around the railing; then, suddenly, she let go and started toward the quiet area on the south side. It was the path to Silliston, but she had forgotten that. Ditmar, catching up to her, continued to plead. He talked about his loneliness, which he had never truly recognized. He needed her. And she felt a corresponding ache. It still seemed unbelievable that he, too, who had so much, could feel that gnawing need for human connection and understanding that had often left her feeling unhappy. And because of the response his need stirred in her, she didn’t stop to consider whether he could meet her own needs, whether he could ever really understand her; whether, at any point, she could fully open up to him.

“I don't see why you want me,” she interrupted him at last. “I've never had any advantages, I don't know anything. I've never had a chance to learn. I've told you that before.”

“I don't understand why you want me,” she finally interrupted him. “I've never had any advantages, I don't know anything. I've never had the opportunity to learn. I've mentioned that to you before.”

“What difference does that make? You've got more sense than any woman I ever saw,” he declared.

“What difference does that make? You’re smarter than any woman I’ve ever seen,” he said.

“It makes a great deal of difference to me,” she insisted—and the sound of these words on her own lips was like a summons arousing her from a dream. The sordidness of her life, its cruel lack of opportunity in contrast with the gifts she felt to be hers, and on which he had dwelt, was swept back into her mind. Self-pity, dignity, and inherent self-respect struggled against her woman's desire to give; an inherited racial pride whispered that she was worthy of the best, but because she had lacked the chance, he refrained from offering her what he would have laid at the feet of another woman.

“It matters a lot to me,” she insisted—and hearing those words come from her own lips felt like a wake-up call pulling her out of a dream. The harsh reality of her life, its cruel lack of opportunities compared to the talents she believed she had, and which he had acknowledged, flooded back into her mind. Self-pity, dignity, and inherent self-respect battled against her desire to give; a deep-rooted pride reminded her that she deserved the best, but since she hadn’t been given the chance, he held back from offering her what he would have freely given to another woman.

“I'll give you advantages—there's nothing I wouldn't give you. Why won't you come to me? I'll take care of you.”

“I'll give you everything you want—there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Why won't you come to me? I'll look after you.”

“Do you think I want to be taken care of?” She wheeled on him so swiftly that he started back. “Is that what you think I want?”

“Do you think I want to be taken care of?” She turned on him so quickly that he stepped back. “Is that what you think I want?”

“No, no,” he protested, when he recovered his speech.

“No, no,” he protested, as he regained his ability to speak.

“Do you think I'm after—what you can give me?” she shot at him. “What you can buy for me?”

“Do you think I'm interested in—what you have to offer me?” she shot back at him. “What you can purchase for me?”

To tell the truth, he had not thought anything about it, that was the trouble. And her question, instead of enlightening him, only added to his confusion and bewilderment.

To be honest, he hadn’t thought about it at all, and that was the problem. Her question, instead of clarifying things for him, just made his confusion and bewilderment worse.

“I'm always getting in wrong with you,” he told her, pathetically. “There isn't anything I'd stop at to make you happy, Janet, that's what I'm trying to say. I'd go the limit.”

“I'm always messing things up with you,” he told her, feeling sorry for himself. “I would do anything to make you happy, Janet, that's what I'm trying to say. I'd go all out.”

“Your limit!” she exclaimed.

“Your limit!” she said.

“What do you mean?” he demanded. But she had become inarticulate—cryptic, to him. He could get nothing more out of her.

“What do you mean?” he asked. But she had become mum—mysterious, to him. He couldn’t get anything more out of her.

“You don't understand me—you never will!” she cried, and burst into tears—tears of rage she tried in vain to control. The world was black with his ignorance. She hated herself, she hated him. Her sobs shook her convulsively, and she scarcely heard him as he walked beside her along the empty road, pleading and clumsily seeking to comfort her. Once or twice she felt his hand on her shoulders.... And then, unlooked for and unbidden, pity began to invade her. Absurd to pity him! She fought against it, but the thought of Ditmar reduced to abjectness gained ground. After all, he had tried to be generous, he had done his best, he loved her, he needed her—the words rang in her heart. After all, he did not realize how could she expect him to realize? and her imagination conjured up the situation in a new perspective. Her sobs gradually ceased, and presently she stopped in the middle of the road and regarded him. He seemed utterly miserable, like a hurt child whom she longed to comfort. But what she said was:—“I ought to be going home.”

“You don’t get me—you never will!” she shouted, and burst into tears—tears of anger she couldn’t control. The world felt dark because of his ignorance. She hated herself, she hated him. Her sobs shook her violently, and she barely heard him as he walked next to her on the empty road, awkwardly trying to comfort her. Once or twice, she felt his hand on her shoulders... And then, unexpectedly and against her will, pity started to seep in. It was silly to feel sorry for him! She resisted it, but the image of Ditmar in a pitiful state took hold. After all, he had tried to be generous, he had done his best, he loved her, he needed her—the words echoed in her heart. After all, he didn’t understand—how could she expect him to? Her imagination began to reshape the situation. Her sobs gradually faded, and soon she stopped in the middle of the road and looked at him. He seemed completely miserable, like a hurt child that she wanted to comfort. But what she said was: “I should probably head home.”

“Not yet!” he begged. “It's early. You say I don't understand you, Janet—my God, I wish I did! It breaks me all up to see you cry like that.”

“Not yet!” he pleaded. “It’s too soon. You say I don’t get you, Janet—oh my God, I wish I did! It kills me to see you cry like that.”

“I'm sorry,” she said, after a moment. “I—I can't make you understand. I guess I'm not like anybody else I'm queer—I can't help it. You must let me go, I only make you unhappy.”

“I'm sorry,” she said after a moment. “I—I can't make you understand. I guess I'm not like anyone else. I'm different—I can't help it. You have to let me go; I only make you unhappy.”

“Let you go!” he cried—and then in utter self-forgetfulness she yielded her lips to his. A sound penetrated the night, she drew back from his arms and stood silhouetted against the glare of the approaching headlight of a trolley car, and as it came roaring down on them she hailed it. Ditmar seized her arm.

“Let you go!” he shouted—and then, completely lost in the moment, she surrendered her lips to his. A noise pierced the night, and she pulled away from his embrace, standing outlined against the bright light of an oncoming trolley car. As it rushed toward them, she waved it down. Ditmar grabbed her arm.

“You're not going—now?” he said hoarsely.

“Are you not going—now?” he said hoarsely.

“I must,” she whispered. “I want to be alone—I want to think. You must let me.”

“I have to,” she whispered. “I need to be alone—I need to think. You have to let me.”

“I'll see you to-morrow?”

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

“I don't know—I want to think. I'm—I'm tired.”

“I don't know—I just want to think. I'm—I'm tired.”

The brakes screamed as the car came joltingly to a stop. She flew up the steps, glancing around to see whether Ditmar had followed her, and saw him still standing in the road. The car was empty of passengers, but the conductor must have seen her leaving a man in this lonely spot. She glanced at his face, white and pinched and apathetic—he must have seen hundreds of similar episodes in the course of his nightly duties. He was unmoved as he took her fare. Nevertheless, at the thought that these other episodes might resemble hers, her face flamed—she grew hot all over. What should she do now? She could not think. Confused with her shame was the memory of a delirious joy, yet no sooner would she give herself up, trembling, to this memory when in turn it was penetrated by qualms of resentment, defiling its purity. Was Ditmar ashamed of her?... When she reached home and had got into bed she wept a little, but her tears were neither of joy nor sorrow. Her capacity for both was exhausted. In this strange mood she fell asleep nor did she waken when, at midnight, Lise stealthily crept in beside her.

The brakes screeched as the car came to a sudden stop. She rushed up the steps, looking around to see if Ditmar had followed her, and saw him still standing in the road. The car was empty, but the driver must have noticed her leaving a man in this deserted spot. She glanced at his face, pale and tight-lipped and indifferent—he had probably witnessed hundreds of similar scenes during his nightly shifts. He remained unaffected as he collected her fare. Still, the thought that these other situations might be similar to hers made her face burn—she felt hot all over. What should she do now? She couldn't think. Mixed in with her shame was the memory of a blissful joy, but just as she surrendered herself to that memory, it was tainted by feelings of resentment, ruining its purity. Was Ditmar ashamed of her?... When she got home and got into bed, she cried a little, but her tears were neither from joy nor sadness. Her ability to feel both was drained. In this strange state of mind, she fell asleep and didn’t wake up when, at midnight, Lise quietly crept in beside her.





CHAPTER X

Ditmar stood staring after the trolley car that bore Janet away until it became a tiny speck of light in the distance. Then he started to walk toward Hampton; in the unwonted exercise was an outlet for the pent-up energy her departure had thwarted; and presently his body was warm with a physical heat that found its counterpart in a delicious, emotional glow of anticipation, of exultant satisfaction. After all, he could not expect to travel too fast with her. Had he not at least gained a signal victory? When he remembered her lips—which she had indubitably given him!—he increased his stride, and in what seemed an incredibly brief time he had recrossed the bridge, covered the long residential blocks of Warren Street, and gained his own door.

Ditmar stood watching the trolley car take Janet away until it was just a small dot of light in the distance. Then he started walking toward Hampton; the unusual exercise helped release the pent-up energy that her departure had built up. Soon, his body was warm with a physical heat that matched a wonderful, emotional excitement and satisfaction. After all, he couldn’t expect to rush things with her. Hadn’t he at least achieved a significant victory? When he thought of her lips—which she had definitely given him!—he picked up his pace, and what felt like no time at all later, he had crossed the bridge again, walked through the long residential blocks of Warren Street, and reached his own door.

The house was quiet, the children having gone to bed, and he groped his way through the dark parlour to his den, turning on the electric switch, sinking into an armchair, and lighting a cigar. He liked this room of his, which still retained something of that flavour of a refuge and sanctuary it had so eminently possessed in the now forgotten days of matrimonial conflict. One of the few elements of agreement he had held in common with the late Mrs. Ditmar was a similarity of taste in household decoration, and they had gone together to a great emporium in Boston to choose the furniture and fittings. The lamp in the centre of the table was a bronze column supporting a hemisphere of heavy red and emerald glass, the colours woven into an intricate and bizarre design, after the manner of the art nouveau—so the zealous salesman had informed them. Cora Ditmar, when exhibiting this lamp to admiring visitors, had remembered the phrase, though her pronunciation of it, according to the standard of the Sorbonne, left something to be desired. The table and chairs, of heavy, shiny oak marvellously and precisely carved by machines, matched the big panels of the wainscot. The windows were high in the wall, thus preventing any intrusion from the clothes-yard on which they looked. The bookcases, protected by leaded panes, held countless volumes of the fiction from which Cora Ditmar had derived her knowledge of the great world outside of Hampton, together with certain sets she had bought, not only as ornaments, but with a praiseworthy view to future culture,—such as Whitmarsh's Library of the Best Literature. These volumes, alas, were still uncut; but some of the pages of the novels—if one cared to open them—were stained with chocolate. The steam radiator was a decoration in itself, the fireplace set in the red and yellow tiles that made the hearth. Above the oak mantel, in a gold frame, was a large coloured print of a Magdalen, doubled up in grief, with a glory of loose, Titian hair, chosen by Ditmar himself as expressing the nearest possible artistic representation of his ideal of the female form. Cora Ditmar's objections on the score of voluptuousness and of insufficient clothing had been vain. She had recognized no immorality of sentimentality in the art itself; what she felt, and with some justice, was that this particular Magdalen was unrepentant, and that Ditmar knew it. And the picture remained an offence to her as long as she lived. Formerly he had enjoyed the contemplation of this figure, reminding him, as it did, of mellowed moments in conquests of the past; suggesting also possibilities of the future. For he had been quick to discount the attitude of bowed despair, the sop flung by a sensuous artist to Christian orthodoxy. He had been sceptical about despair—feminine despair, which could always be cured by gifts and baubles. But to-night, as he raised his eyes, he felt a queer sensation marring the ecstatic perfection of his mood. That quality in the picture which so long had satisfied and entranced him had now become repellent, an ugly significant reflection of something—something in himself he was suddenly eager to repudiate and deny. It was with a certain amazement that he found himself on his feet with the picture in his hand, gazing at the empty space where it had hung. For he had had no apparent intention of obeying that impulse. What should he do with it? Light the fire and burn it—frame and all? The frame was an integral part of it. What would his housekeeper say? But now that he had actually removed it from the wall he could not replace it, so he opened the closet door and thrust it into a corner among relics which had found refuge there. He had put his past in the closet; yet the relief he felt was mingled with the peculiar qualm that follows the discovery of symptoms never before remarked. Why should this woman have this extraordinary effect of making him dissatisfied with himself? He sat down again and tried to review the affair from that first day when he had surprised in her eyes the flame dwelling in her. She had completely upset his life, increasingly distracted his mind until now he could imagine no peace unless he possessed her. Hitherto he had recognized in his feeling for her nothing but that same desire he had had for other women, intensified to a degree never before experienced. But this sudden access of morality—he did not actually define it as such—was disquieting. And in the feverish, semi-objective survey he was now making of his emotional tract he was discovering the presence of other disturbing symptoms such as an unwonted tenderness, a consideration almost amounting to pity which at times he had vaguely sensed yet never sought imaginatively to grasp. It bewildered him by hampering a ruthlessness hitherto absolute. The fierceness of her inflamed his passion, yet he recognized dimly behind this fierceness an instinct of self-protection—and he thought of her in this moment as a struggling bird that fluttered out of his hands when they were ready to close over her. So it had been to-night. He might have kept her, prevented her from taking the car. Yet he had let her go! There came again, utterly to blot this out, the memory of her lips.

The house was quiet, the kids having gone to bed, and he felt his way through the dark living room to his study, switching on the lights, sinking into an armchair, and lighting a cigar. He liked this room, which still held some of the cozy feel of a refuge and sanctuary it had once provided during the now-forgotten days of marital conflict. One of the few things he and the late Mrs. Ditmar had agreed on was their taste in home decor, and they had gone together to a big department store in Boston to pick out the furniture and fittings. The lamp in the center of the table was a bronze column supporting a heavy red and green glass shade, with colors woven into an intricate and unusual pattern, just as the enthusiastic salesperson had described. Cora Ditmar, when showcasing this lamp to impressed guests, had remembered the term, although her pronunciation, according to Sorbonne standards, left something to be desired. The table and chairs, made of heavy, shiny oak and expertly carved by machines, matched the large panels of the wainscoting. The windows were high in the wall, which prevented any view from the backyard they overlooked. The bookcases, protected by leaded glass, held countless volumes of the fiction that Cora Ditmar had used to understand the larger world beyond Hampton, along with certain sets she had bought not just as decorations, but with the noble aim of future enlightenment—like Whitmarsh's Library of the Best Literature. Sadly, these volumes remained unopened; nonetheless, some pages of the novels—if one cared to open them—were stained with chocolate. The steam radiator was a decoration by itself, and the fireplace was set in bright red and yellow tiles that framed the hearth. Above the oak mantel, in a gold frame, hung a large colored print of a Magdalen, hunched over in grief, with a cascade of loose, Titian hair, chosen by Ditmar himself as the closest artistic representation of his ideal female form. Cora Ditmar's objections regarding its sensuality and lack of clothing were in vain. She felt no immorality in the art itself; what she sensed—and with some justification—was that this particular Magdalen appeared unapologetic, and that Ditmar was aware of it. The picture remained a source of irritation for her as long as she lived. He had once enjoyed contemplating this figure, as it reminded him of soft moments from past conquests, also suggesting possibilities for the future. He’d been quick to dismiss the attitude of bowed despair, which he saw as a token gesture from a sensual artist to appease Christian orthodoxy. He had been skeptical of despair—particularly feminine despair, which he believed could always be soothed with gifts and trinkets. But tonight, as he lifted his eyes, he felt an odd sensation ruining the ecstatic mood he had cultivated. The quality in the picture that had long satisfied and captivated him had now turned repulsive, a disturbing reflection of something—something in himself he suddenly wanted to reject. He found himself surprised to be standing with the picture in his hands, looking at the vacant space where it had hung. He hadn’t planned to act on that impulse. What was he supposed to do with it? Light a fire and burn it, frame and all? The frame was essential to it. What would his housekeeper think? But now that he had removed it from the wall, he couldn’t put it back, so he opened the closet door and pushed it into a corner among the relics collected there. He had stored his past in the closet; yet the relief he felt was mixed with the strange unease that comes from noticing new symptoms one had never recognized before. Why did this woman have such a profound effect of making him unhappy with himself? He sat down again and tried to rethink everything from that first day he noticed the spark in her eyes. She had completely disrupted his life, increasingly distracted his thoughts until now he couldn't imagine any peace unless he had her. Until now, he had seen his feelings for her as just that same desire he felt for other women, intensified to a level he had never experienced before. But this sudden wave of morality—he didn’t exactly define it as such—was unsettling. And in the frenzied, semi-objective assessment he was now making of his emotions, he was discovering the presence of other troubling symptoms, like an unexpected tenderness, a consideration that almost amounted to pity, which at times he had sort of felt but never fully confronted. It confused him by obstructing a ruthlessness he had always maintained. The fierceness of her stirred his passion, yet he dimly recognized beneath that fierceness an instinct for self-protection—and he thought of her in that moment as a struggling bird that had fluttered from his grasp just as he was about to hold her tightly. That’s how it had been tonight. He could have kept her from taking the car. Yet he had let her go! And then came the overwhelming, debilitating memory of her lips.

Even then, there had been something sorrowful in that kiss, a quality he resented as troubling, a flavour that came to him after the wildness was spent. What was she struggling against? What was behind her resistance? She loved him! It had never before occurred to him to enter into the nature of her feelings, having been so preoccupied with and tortured by his own. This realization, that she loved him, as it persisted, began to make him uneasy, though it should, according to all experience, have been a reason for sheer exultation. He began to see that with her it involved complications, responsibilities, disclosures, perhaps all of those things he had formerly avoided and resented in woman. He thought of certain friends of his who had become tangled up—of one in particular whose bank account had been powerless to extricate him.... And he was ashamed of himself.

Even then, there was something sad about that kiss, a quality he found troubling, a feeling that hit him after the excitement faded. What was she fighting against? What was behind her resistance? She loved him! It had never crossed his mind to understand her feelings, as he had been so caught up in and tormented by his own. This realization that she loved him, as it lingered, started to make him feel uneasy, even though it should have been a reason for pure joy based on all his past experiences. He began to see that with her came complications, responsibilities, disclosures, maybe all those things he had previously avoided and resented in women. He thought of certain friends of his who got caught up in relationships—especially one whose bank account had been powerless to help him out.... And he felt ashamed of himself.

In view of the nature of his sex experience, of his habit of applying his imagination solely to matters of business rather than to affairs of the heart,—if his previous episodes may be so designated,—his failure to surmise that a wish for marriage might be at the back of her resistance is not so surprising as it may seem; he laid down, half smoked, his third cigar. The suspicion followed swiftly on his recalling to mind her vehement repudiation of his proffered gifts did he think she wanted what he could buy for her! She was not purchasable—that way. He ought to have known it, he hadn't realized what he was saying. But marriage! Literally it had never occurred to him to image her in a relation he himself associated with shackles. One of the unconscious causes of his fascination was just her emancipation from and innocence of that herd-convention to which most women—even those who lack wedding rings—are slaves. The force of such an appeal to a man of Ditmar's type must not be underestimated. And the idea that she, too, might prefer the sanction of the law, the gilded cage as a popular song which once had taken his fancy illuminatingly expressed it—seemed utterly incongruous with the freedom and daring of her spirit, was a sobering shock. Was he prepared to marry her, if he could obtain her in no other way? The question demanded a survey of his actual position of which he was at the moment incapable. There were his children! He had never sought to arrive at even an approximate estimate of the boy and girl as factors in his life, to consider his feelings toward them; but now, though he believed himself a man who gave no weight to social considerations—he had scorned this tendency in his wife—he was to realize the presence of ambitions for them. He was young, he was astonishingly successful; he had reason to think, with his opportunities and the investments he already had made, that he might some day be moderately rich; and he had at times even imagined himself in later life as the possessor of one of those elaborate country places to be glimpsed from the high roads in certain localities, which the sophisticated are able to recognize as the seats of the socially ineligible, but which to Ditmar were outward and visible emblems of success. He liked to think of George as the inheritor of such a place, as the son of a millionaire, as a “college graduate,” as an influential man of affairs; he liked to imagine Amy as the wife of such another. In short, Ditmar's wife had left him, as an unconscious legacy, her aspirations for their children's social prestige....

In light of his sexual experiences and his tendency to focus his imagination on business rather than romance—if we can call his past encounters that—it's not so surprising that he didn't realize a desire for marriage could be behind her reluctance. He put down his half-smoked third cigar. The thought quickly followed when he remembered her strong rejection of his offered gifts; did he really think she wanted what he could buy for her? She wasn't for sale like that. He should have understood that, but he hadn’t fully grasped what he was saying. But marriage! He had never pictured her in a relationship he connected with being stuck or trapped. One reason he was drawn to her was her freedom from and innocence of the societal norms that most women—even those without wedding rings—were bound by. The attraction such a quality had for someone like Ditmar should not be underestimated. The idea that she might also want the legal approval and the “gilded cage,” as a catchy song he once liked put it, felt completely contradictory to the freedom and boldness of her spirit, which was a tough realization to face. Was he willing to marry her if that was the only way to have her? This question required him to reflect on his current situation, something he wasn't ready to do at that moment. Then there were his kids! He had never really tried to assess how his son and daughter factored into his life or think about his feelings toward them; but now, even though he considered himself a man who didn’t care about social status—something he had criticized in his wife—he began to recognize his ambitions for them. He was young and surprisingly successful; he had reasons to believe that with his opportunities and the investments he had already made, he might one day be fairly wealthy. He even occasionally imagined himself later in life owning one of those grand country estates you can spot from the highways in certain areas, which the elite recognize as belonging to the socially outcast, but which for Ditmar were clear indicators of success. He liked to picture George inheriting such a place, as the son of a millionaire, as a “college graduate,” as a powerful figure in business; he enjoyed envisioning Amy as the wife of someone like that. In short, Ditmar's wife had left him, as an unintentional legacy, her hopes for their children’s social status.

The polished oak grandfather's clock in the hall had struck one before he went to bed, mentally wearied by an unwonted problem involving, in addition to self-interest, an element of ethics, of affection not wholly compounded of desire.

The shiny oak grandfather clock in the hall had struck one before he went to bed, mentally exhausted by an unusual problem that included not just self-interest, but also a mix of ethics and a kind of affection that wasn't entirely driven by desire.

He slept soundly, however. He was one of those fortunate beings who come into the world with digestive organs and thyroid glands in that condition which—so physiologists tell us—makes for a sanguine temperament. And his course of action, though not decided upon, no longer appeared as a problem; it differed from a business matter in that it could wait. As sufficient proof of his liver having rescued him from doubts and qualms he was able to whistle, as he dressed, and without a tremor of agitation, the forgotten tune suggested to his consciousness during the unpleasant reverie of the night before,—“Only a Bird in a Gilded Cage!” It was Saturday. He ate a hearty breakfast, joked with George and Amy, and refreshed, glowing with an expectation mingled with just the right amount of delightful uncertainty that made the great affairs of life a gamble, yet with the confidence of the conqueror, he walked in sunlight to the mill. In view of this firm and hopeful tone of his being he found it all the more surprising, as he reached the canal, to be seized by a trepidation strong enough to bring perspiration to his forehead. What if she had gone! He had never thought of that, and he had to admit it would be just like her. You never could tell what she would do.

He slept soundly, though. He was one of those lucky people who come into the world with their digestive systems and thyroid glands in a state that—according to physiologists—supports a cheerful disposition. And his next steps, while not planned out, no longer seemed like a problem; they felt different from a business issue because they could wait. The fact that his liver had saved him from doubts and anxieties allowed him to whistle, while getting dressed, the forgotten song that came to him during the unpleasant daydream of the night before—“Only a Bird in a Gilded Cage!” It was Saturday. He had a big breakfast, joked with George and Amy, and, feeling refreshed and filled with a mix of anticipation and just the right amount of exciting uncertainty that made life’s major events feel like a gamble, he confidently walked in the sunlight to the mill. Given this strong and hopeful mood, he found it surprising, as he reached the canal, to be overtaken by a fear that made him sweat. What if she had left? He had never considered that possibility, and he had to admit it would be just like her. You could never predict what she would do.

Nodding at Simmons, the watchman, he hurried up the iron-shod stairs, gained the outer once, and instantly perceived that her chair beside the window was empty! Caldwell and Mr. Price stood with their heads together bending over a sheet on which Mr. Price was making calculations.

Nodding at Simmons, the security guard, he rushed up the iron stairs, reached the outside, and immediately noticed that her chair by the window was empty! Caldwell and Mr. Price were huddled together, leaning over a sheet where Mr. Price was doing calculations.

“Hasn't Miss Bumpus come yet?” Ditmar demanded. He tried to speak naturally, casually, but his own voice sounded strange, seemed to strike the exact note of sickening apprehension that suddenly possessed him. Both men turned and looked at him in some surprise.

“Hasn't Miss Bumpus arrived yet?” Ditmar asked. He attempted to sound relaxed and casual, but his voice felt unusual, catching exactly the vibe of the nauseating anxiety that had suddenly taken over him. Both men turned to look at him in surprise.

“Good-morning, Mr. Ditmar,” Caldwell said. “Why, yes, she's in your room.”

“Good morning, Mr. Ditmar,” Caldwell said. “Yes, she’s in your room.”

“Oh!” said Ditmar.

“Oh!” Ditmar exclaimed.

“The Boston office has just been calling you—they want to know if you can't take the nine twenty-two,” Caldwell went on. “It's about that lawsuit. It comes into court Monday morning, and Mr. Sprole is there, and they say they have to see you. Miss Bumpus has the memorandum.”

“The Boston office just called—they want to know if you can take the nine-twenty-two,” Caldwell continued. “It's about that lawsuit. It goes to court Monday morning, and Mr. Sprole will be there, and they say they need to see you. Miss Bumpus has the memo.”

Ditmar looked at his watch.

Ditmar checked his watch.

“Damn it, why didn't they let me know yesterday?” he exclaimed. “I won't see anybody, Caldwell—not even Orcutt—just now. You understand. I've got to have a little time to do some letters. I won't be disturbed—by any one—for half an hour.”

“Damn it, why didn’t they tell me yesterday?” he exclaimed. “I won’t see anyone, Caldwell—not even Orcutt—right now. You understand. I need a little time to write some letters. I don’t want to be disturbed—by anyone—for half an hour.”

Caldwell nodded.

Caldwell agreed.

“All right, Mr. Ditmar.”

"Okay, Mr. Ditmar."

Ditmar went into his office, closing the door behind him. She was occupied as usual, cutting open the letters and laying them in a pile with the deftness and rapidity that characterized all she did.

Ditmar walked into his office and shut the door behind him. She was busy as always, opening the letters and stacking them in a pile with the skill and speed that defined everything she did.

“Janet!” he exclaimed.

“Janet!” he said.

“There's a message for you from Boston. I've made a note of it,” she replied.

“There's a message for you from Boston. I’ve noted it,” she replied.

“I know—Caldwell told me. But I wanted to see you before I went—I had to see you. I sat up half the night thinking of you, I woke up thinking of you. Aren't you glad to see me?”

“I know—Caldwell told me. But I wanted to see you before I left—I had to see you. I was up half the night thinking about you, and I woke up thinking about you. Aren't you happy to see me?”

She dropped the letter opener and stood silent, motionless, awaiting his approach—a pose so eloquent of the sense of fatality strong in her as to strike him with apprehension, unused though he was to the appraisal of inner values. He read, darkly, something of this mystery in her eyes as they were slowly raised to his, he felt afraid; he was swept again by those unwonted emotions of pity and tenderness—but when she turned away her head and he saw the bright spot of colour growing in her cheek, spreading to her temple, suffusing her throat, when he touched the soft contour of her arm, his passion conquered.... Still he was acutely conscious of a resistance within her—not as before, physically directed against him, but repudiating her own desire. She became limp in his arms, though making no attempt to escape, and he knew that the essential self of her he craved still evaded and defied him. And he clung to her the more desperately—as though by crushing her peradventure he might capture it.

She dropped the letter opener and stood there quietly, completely still, waiting for him to approach—a stance that clearly expressed the strong sense of fatality within her, making him feel uneasy, even though he wasn't used to recognizing inner feelings. As she slowly raised her eyes to meet his, he sensed a dark mystery in them, and fear washed over him; he was overwhelmed again by unfamiliar emotions of pity and tenderness. But when she turned her head away and he saw the flush of color spreading across her cheek, moving to her temple, and filling her throat, when he touched the soft shape of her arm, his passion took over... Still, he was painfully aware of a resistance within her—not like before, physically directed at him, but rejecting her own desire. She went limp in his arms without trying to escape, and he realized that the true essence of her that he longed for still slipped away and resisted him. And he held on to her more desperately—as if by overpowering her he might somehow capture it.

“You're hurting me,” she said at last, and he let her go, standing by helplessly while she went through the movements of readjustment instinctive to women. Even in these he read the existence of the reservation he was loth to acknowledge.

“You're hurting me,” she finally said, and he released her, standing there feeling helpless while she instinctively went through the motions of readjusting. Even in those actions, he sensed the presence of a reservation he was unwilling to admit.

“Don't you love me?” he said.

“Don't you love me?” he asked.

“I don't know.”

"I have no idea."

“You do!” he said. “You—you proved it—I know it.”

“You do!” he said. “You—you proved it—I know it.”

She went a little away from him, picking up the paper cutter, but it lay idle in her hand.

She moved a little away from him, picking up the paper cutter, but it sat still in her hand.

“For God's sake, tell me what's the matter!” he exclaimed. “I can't stand this. Janet, aren't you happy?”

“For God's sake, tell me what's wrong!” he exclaimed. “I can't take this. Janet, are you not happy?”

She shook her head.

She shook her head.

“Why not? I love you. I—I've never been so happy in my life as I was this morning. Why aren't you happy—when we love each other?”

“Why not? I love you. I—I’ve never been so happy in my life as I was this morning. Why aren’t you happy—when we love each other?”

“Because I'm not.”

"Because I'm not."

“Why not? There's nothing I wouldn't do to make you happy—you know that. Tell me!”

“Why not? There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make you happy—you know that. Tell me!”

“You wouldn't understand. I couldn't make you understand.”

"You wouldn't get it. I couldn't make you get it."

“Is it something I've done?”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“You don't love me,” she said. “You only want me. I'm not made that way, I'm not generous enough, I guess. I've got to have work to do.”

“You don't love me,” she said. “You only want me. I'm not like that, I guess I'm not generous enough. I need to have something to do.”

“Work to do! But you'll share my work—it's nothing without you.”

“Got work to do! But you’ll help me with it—it’s nothing without you.”

She shook her head. “I knew you couldn't understand. You don't realize how impossible it is. I don't blame you—I suppose a man can't.”

She shook her head. “I knew you wouldn't get it. You don't understand how impossible this is. I don’t hold it against you—I guess a guy just can't.”

She was not upbraiding him, she spoke quietly, in a tone almost lifeless, yet the emotional effect of it was tremendous.

She wasn't scolding him; she spoke softly, in a tone that was almost flat, yet the emotional impact was enormous.

“But,” he began, and stopped, and was swept on again by an impulse that drowned all caution, all reason. “But you can help me—when we are married.”

“But,” he started, then stopped, swept up again by an impulse that drowned out all caution, all reason. “But you can help me—when we’re married.”

“Married!” she repeated. “You want to marry me?”

“Married!” she echoed. “You want to marry me?”

“Yes, yes—I need you.” He took her hands, he felt them tremble in his, her breath came quickly, but her gaze was so intent as seemingly to penetrate to the depths of him. And despite his man's amazement at her hesitation now that he had offered her his all, he was moved, disturbed, ashamed as he had never been in his life. At length, when he could stand no longer the suspense of this inquisition, he stammered out: “I want you to be my wife.”

“Yes, yes—I need you.” He took her hands and felt them shake in his; her breath was quick, but her gaze was so focused it seemed to reach deep inside him. And despite his surprise at her hesitation after he had given her everything, he felt moved, unsettled, and more ashamed than he had ever been. Finally, when he could no longer bear the tension of this moment, he stammered, “I want you to be my wife.”

“You've wanted to marry me all along?” she asked.

“You’ve wanted to marry me this whole time?” she asked.

“I didn't think, Janet. I was mad about you. I didn't know you.”

“I didn't think, Janet. I was crazy about you. I didn't really know you.”

“Do you know me now?”

“Do you know me now?”

“That's just it,” he cried, with a flash of clairvoyance, “I never will know you—it's what makes you different from any woman I've ever seen. You'll marry me?”

“That's the point,” he exclaimed, with a moment of insight, “I’ll never truly know you—that’s what sets you apart from any woman I’ve ever met. Will you marry me?”

“I'm afraid,” she said. “Oh, I've thought over it, and you haven't. A woman has to think, a man doesn't, so much. And now you're willing to marry me, if you can't get me any other way.” Her hand touched his coat, checking his protest. “It isn't that I want marriage—what you can give me—I'm not like that, I've told you so before. But I couldn't live as your—mistress.”

“I'm scared,” she said. “Oh, I've thought it through, and you haven't. A woman has to think, but a man doesn't have to as much. And now you're ready to marry me if you can't have me any other way.” Her hand touched his coat, stopping his protest. “It's not that I want marriage—what you can offer me—I'm not like that, I've told you before. But I couldn't live as your—mistress.”

The word on her lips shocked him a little—but her courage and candour thrilled him.

The words on her lips surprised him a bit—but her bravery and honesty excited him.

“If I stayed here, it would be found out. I wouldn't let you keep me. I'd have to have work, you see, or I'd lose my self-respect—it's all I've got—I'd kill myself.” She spoke as calmly as though she were reviewing the situation objectively. “And then, I've thought that you might come to believe you really wanted to marry me—you wouldn't realize what you were doing, or what might happen if we were married. I've tried to tell you that, too, only you didn't seem to understand what I was saying. My father's only a gatekeeper, we're poor—poorer than some of the operatives in the mill, and the people you know here in Hampton wouldn't understand. Perhaps you think you wouldn't care, but—” she spoke with more effort, “there are your children. When I've thought of them, it all seems impossible. I'd make you unhappy—I couldn't bear it, I wouldn't stay with you. You see, I ought to have gone away long ago.”

“If I stayed here, it would be discovered. I wouldn't let you keep me. I'd need to have a job, you see, or I'd lose my self-respect—it's all I've got—I might as well end it all.” She spoke as calmly as if she were assessing the situation objectively. “And then, I thought that you might come to believe you really wanted to marry me—you wouldn't realize what you were doing, or what could happen if we got married. I've tried to explain that to you, but you didn’t seem to get what I was saying. My father's just a gatekeeper, we're poor—poorer than some of the workers in the mill, and the people you know here in Hampton wouldn’t get it. Maybe you think you wouldn’t mind, but—” she spoke with more effort, “there are your kids. When I think of them, it all seems impossible. I’d make you unhappy—I couldn’t stand it, I wouldn’t stay with you. You see, I should have left a long time ago.”

Believing, as he did, that marriage was the goal of all women, even of the best, the immediate capitulation he had expected would have made matters far less difficult. But these scruples of hers, so startlingly his own, her disquieting insight into his entire mental process had a momentary checking effect, summoned up the vague presage of a future that might become extremely troublesome and complicated. His very reluctance to discuss with her the problem she had raised warned him that he had been swept into deep waters. On the other hand, her splendid resistance appealed to him, enhanced her value. And accustomed as he had been to a lifelong self-gratification, the thought of being balked in this supreme desire was not to be borne. Such were the shades of his feeling as he listened to her.

Believing, as he did, that marriage was the ultimate goal for all women, even the best of them, the quick agreement he anticipated would have made things much easier. But her reservations, which so closely mirrored his own, and her unsettling understanding of his entire thought process temporarily held him back, bringing to mind a vague sense of a future that could become very challenging and complex. His reluctance to talk with her about the issue she raised made him realize he had been drawn into deep waters. On the other hand, her strong resistance appealed to him and increased her worth in his eyes. And given that he was used to a lifetime of immediate gratification, the idea of being denied this ultimate desire was unbearable. Such were the complexities of his feelings as he listened to her.

“That's nonsense!” he exclaimed, when she had finished. “You're a lady—I know all about your family, I remember hearing about it when your father came here—it's as good as any in New England. What do you suppose I care, Janet? We love each other—I've got to have you. We'll be married in the spring, when the rush is over.”

“That's ridiculous!” he said when she was done. “You're a lady—I know all about your family, and I remember hearing about it when your dad came here—it’s just as good as any in New England. What do you think I care, Janet? We love each other—I have to have you. We’ll get married in the spring, once the rush is over.”

He drew her to him once more, and suddenly, in the ardour of that embrace, he felt her tenseness suddenly relax—as though, against her will—and her passion, as she gave her lips, vied with his own. Her lithe body trembled convulsively, her cheeks were wet as she clung to him and hid her face in his shoulder. His sensations in the presence of this thing he had summoned up in her were incomprehensible, surpassing any he had ever known. It was no longer a woman he held in his arms, the woman he craved, but something greater, more fearful, the mystery of sorrow and suffering, of creation and life—of the universe itself.

He pulled her close again, and suddenly, in the heat of that embrace, he felt her tension melt away—almost against her will—and her desire, as she gave him her lips, matched his own. Her agile body shook uncontrollably, her cheeks were wet as she held onto him and buried her face in his shoulder. His feelings in response to this intense emotion he had awakened in her were beyond understanding, surpassing anything he had ever felt. It was no longer a woman he held in his arms, the woman he desired, but something bigger, more intimidating—the mystery of sorrow and suffering, of creation and life—the essence of the universe itself.

“Janet—aren't you happy?” he said again.

“Janet—aren't you happy?” he asked again.

She released herself and smiled at him wistfully through her tears.

She set herself free and smiled at him sadly through her tears.

“I don't know. What I feel doesn't seem like happiness. I can't believe in it, somehow.”

“I don’t know. What I feel doesn’t really seem like happiness. I just can’t believe in it, for some reason.”

“You must believe in it,” he said.

"You have to believe in it," he said.

“I can't,—perhaps I may, later. You'd better go now,” she begged. “You'll miss your train.”

“I can't—maybe later. You should go now,” she urged. “You’ll miss your train.”

He glanced at the office clock. “Confound it, I have to. Listen! I'll be back this evening, and I'll get that little car of mine—”

He looked at the office clock. "Darn it, I have to. Listen! I'll be back this evening, and I'll grab my little car—”

“No, not to-night—I don't want to go—to-night.”

“No, not tonight—I don’t want to go tonight.”

“Why not?”

"Why not?"

“Not to-night,” she repeated.

“Not tonight,” she repeated.

“Well then, to-morrow. To-morrow's Sunday. Do you know where the Boat Club is on the River Boulevard? I'll be there, to-morrow morning at ten. I'd come for you, to your house,” he added quickly, “but we don't want any one to know, yet—do we?”

“Well then, tomorrow. Tomorrow's Sunday. Do you know where the Boat Club is on River Boulevard? I'll be there tomorrow morning at ten. I’d come to pick you up at your house,” he added quickly, “but we don’t want anyone to know yet—do we?”

She shook her head.

She nodded disapprovingly.

“We must keep it secret for a while,” he said. “Wear your new dress—the blue one. Good-bye—sweetheart.”

“We have to keep it under wraps for a bit,” he said. “Put on your new dress—the blue one. Bye for now—sweetheart.”

He kissed her again and hurried out of the office.... Boarding the train just as it was about to start, he settled himself in the back seat of the smoker, lit a cigar, inhaling deep breaths of the smoke and scarcely noticing an acquaintance who greeted him from the aisle. Well, he had done it! He was amazed. He had not intended to propose marriage, and when he tried to review the circumstances that had led to this he became confused. But when he asked himself whether indeed he were willing to pay such a price, to face the revolution marriage—and this marriage in particular—would mean in his life, the tumult in his blood beat down his incipient anxieties. Besides, he possessed the kind of mind able to throw off the consideration of possible consequences, and by the time the train had slowed down in the darkness of the North Station in Boston all traces of worry had disappeared. The future would take care of itself.

He kissed her again and rushed out of the office... Just as the train was about to leave, he got on and settled into the back seat of the smoking car, lit a cigar, inhaling deep puffs of smoke and barely noticing an acquaintance who greeted him from the aisle. Well, he had done it! He was amazed. He hadn’t planned to propose marriage, and when he tried to think back on how it all happened, he felt confused. But when he asked himself if he was actually ready to pay the price and deal with the upheaval that marriage—and this marriage in particular—would bring to his life, the rush of adrenaline pushed down his growing anxieties. Plus, he had a mindset that could easily dismiss concerns about possible consequences, and by the time the train slowed down in the darkness of North Station in Boston, all traces of worry had vanished. The future would take care of itself.

For the Bumpus family, supper that evening was an unusually harmonious meal. Hannah's satisfaction over the new stove had by no means subsided, and Edward ventured, without reproof, to praise the restored quality of the pie crust. And in contrast to her usual moroseness and self-absorption, even Lise was gay—largely because her pet aversion, the dignified and allegedly amorous Mr. Waiters, floor-walker at the Bagatelle, had fallen down the length of the narrow stairway leading from the cashier's cage. She became almost hysterical with glee as she pictured him lying prone beneath the counter dedicated to lingerie, draped with various garments from the pile that toppled over on him. “Ruby Nash picked a brassiere off his whiskers!” Lise shrieked. “She gave the pile a shove when he landed. He's got her number all right. But say, it was worth the price of admission to see that old mutt when he got up, he looked like Santa Claus. All the girls in the floor were there we nearly split trying to keep from giving him the ha-ha. And Ruby says, sympathetic, as she brushed him off, 'I hope you ain't hurt, Mr. Waiters.' He was sore! He went around all afternoon with a bunch on his coco as big as a potato.” So vivid was Lise's account of this affair which apparently she regarded as compensation for many days of drudgery-that even Hannah laughed, though deploring a choice of language symbolic of a world she feared and detested.

For the Bumpus family, dinner that evening was an unusually pleasant meal. Hannah's excitement over the new stove hadn't faded at all, and Edward felt free to compliment the improved pie crust without being scolded. In contrast to her usual gloom and self-centeredness, even Lise was cheerful—mainly because her least favorite person, the dignified and supposedly charming Mr. Waiters, the floorwalker at the Bagatelle, had tumbled down the narrow staircase from the cashier's cage. She almost lost it with laughter as she imagined him lying flat under the counter that held lingerie, covered with various clothes that had fallen on him. “Ruby Nash picked a bra off his chin!” Lise shrieked. “She pushed the pile off him when he landed. He’s got her number for sure. But honestly, it was worth it to see that old guy when he got up; he looked like Santa Claus. All the girls on the floor were there, and we nearly burst trying not to laugh at him. And Ruby says, sweetly, as she helps him up, ‘I hope you’re not hurt, Mr. Waiters.’ He was really mad! He walked around all afternoon with a bump on his head as big as a potato.” Lise's lively retelling of the incident, which she clearly saw as a break from her usual hard life, even made Hannah laugh, though she disapproved of the way Lise expressed herself, reflecting a world she feared and disliked.

“If I talked like you,” said Lise, “they wouldn't understand me.”

“If I talked like you,” Lise said, “they wouldn’t get me.”

Janet, too, was momentarily amused, drawn out of that reverie in which she had dwelt all day, ever since Ditmar had left for Boston. Now she began to wonder what would happen if she were suddenly to announce “I'm going to marry Mr. Ditmar.” After the first shock of amazement, she could imagine her father's complete and complacent acceptance of the news as a vindication of an inherent quality in the Bumpus blood. He would begin to talk about the family. For, despite what might have been deemed a somewhat disillusionizing experience, in the depths of his being he still believed in the Providence who had presided over the perilous voyage of the Mayflower and the birth of Peregrine White, whose omniscient mind was peculiarly concerned with the family trees of Puritans. And what could be a more striking proof of the existence of this Providence, or a more fitting acknowledgment on his part of the Bumpus virtues, than that Janet should become the wife of the agent of the Chippering Mills? Janet smiled. She was amused, too, by the thought that Lise's envy would be modified by the prospect of a heightened social status; since Lise, it will be remembered, had her Providence likewise. Hannah's god was not a Providence, but one deeply skilled in persecution, in ingenious methods of torture; one who would not hesitate to dangle baubles before the eyes of his children—only to snatch them away again. Hannah's pessimism would persist as far as the altar, and beyond!

Janet was also briefly amused, pulled out of the daydream she’d been in all day since Ditmar had left for Boston. She started to wonder what would happen if she suddenly announced, “I’m going to marry Mr. Ditmar.” After the initial shock of surprise, she could picture her dad’s complete and satisfied acceptance of the news as a validation of the Bumpus family's inherent qualities. He would start talking about the family. For, even though he might have had a somewhat disillusioning experience, deep down he still believed in the Providence that watched over the risky journey of the Mayflower and the birth of Peregrine White, whose all-knowing mind cared particularly about the family histories of Puritans. And what could be a more striking proof of the existence of this Providence, or a more fitting acknowledgment of the Bumpus virtues, than Janet becoming the wife of the agent of the Chippering Mills? Janet smiled. She found it funny to think that Lise’s envy would be toned down by the possibility of a higher social status; since, as we remember, Lise had her own idea of Providence. Hannah’s god wasn’t a Providence but one skilled in persecution and creative methods of torture; one who wouldn't hesitate to dangle treasures in front of his children—only to snatch them away again. Hannah’s pessimism would last all the way to the altar and beyond!

On the whole, such was Janet's notion of the Deity, though deep within her there may have existed a hope that he might be outwitted; that, by dint of energy and brains, the fair things of life might be obtained despite a malicious opposition. And she loved Ditmar. This must be love she felt, this impatience to see him again, this desire to be with him, this agitation possessing her so utterly that all day long she had dwelt in an unwonted state like a somnambulism: it must be love, though not resembling in the least the generally accepted, virginal ideal. She saw him as he was, crude, powerful, relentless in his desire; his very faults appealed. His passion had overcome his prudence, he had not intended to propose, but any shame she felt on this score was put to flight by a fierce exultation over the fact that she had brought him to her feet, that he wanted her enough to marry her. It was wonderful to be wanted like that! But she could not achieve the mental picture of herself as Ditmar's wife—especially when, later in the evening, she walked up Warren Street and stood gazing at his house from the opposite pavement. She simply could not imagine herself living in that house as its mistress. Notwithstanding the testimony of the movies, such a Cinderella-like transition was not within the realm of probable facts; things just didn't happen that way.

Overall, this was Janet's view of God, though deep down she might have held onto a hope that he could be outsmarted; that, through hard work and intelligence, the good things in life could be achieved despite any cruel opposition. And she loved Ditmar. This had to be love she felt—this eagerness to see him again, this need to be close to him, this overwhelming excitement that consumed her, making her feel like she was in a dream state all day long. It must be love, even if it was nothing like the traditional, pure ideal. She saw him for who he was: raw, powerful, and relentless in his desires; his flaws even drew her in. His passion had overruled his caution—he hadn’t planned to propose, but any embarrassment she might have felt was swept away by a fierce joy that she had made him want her, that he wanted her enough to marry her. It was amazing to be desired like that! But she couldn’t visualize herself as Ditmar's wife—especially when, later that evening, she walked up Warren Street and stood looking at his house from across the street. She simply couldn’t picture herself living there as its mistress. Despite what movies might suggest, such a fairy-tale transformation wasn’t likely; things just didn’t happen that way.

She recalled the awed exclamation of Eda when they had walked together along Warren Street on that evening in summer: “How would you like to live there!”—and hot with sudden embarrassment and resentment she had dragged her friend onward, to the corner. In spite of its size, of the spaciousness of existence it suggested, the house had not appealed to her then. Janet did not herself realize or estimate the innate if undeveloped sense of form she possessed, the artist-instinct that made her breathless on first beholding Silliston Common. And then the vision of Silliston had still been bright; but now the light of a slender moon was as a gossamer silver veil through which she beheld the house, as in a stage setting, softening and obscuring its lines, lending it qualities of dignity and glamour that made it seem remote, unreal, unattainable. And she felt a sudden, overwhelming longing, as though her breast would burst....

She remembered Eda's amazed outburst when they had walked together down Warren Street that summer evening: “How would you like to live there!”—and feeling suddenly embarrassed and annoyed, she had pulled her friend along to the corner. Despite its size and the spaciousness it suggested, the house hadn’t appealed to her at that moment. Janet didn’t even realize or appreciate her natural, if unrefined, sense of design, the artist's instinct that had left her breathless the first time she saw Silliston Common. Back then, the vision of Silliston had still been vibrant, but now the light of a slim moon felt like a delicate silver veil through which she saw the house, like a scene on stage, softening and blurring its edges, giving it a dignity and glamour that made it seem distant, unreal, and out of reach. And she felt a sudden, intense longing, as if her chest would burst....

Through the drawn blinds the lights in the second storey gleamed yellow. A dim lamp burned in the deep vestibule, as in a sanctuary. And then, as though some supernaturally penetrating ray had pierced a square hole in the lower walls, a glimpse of the interior was revealed to her, of the living room at the north end of the house. Two figures chased one another around the centre table—Ditmar's children! Was Ditmar there? Impelled irresistibly by a curiosity overcoming repugnance and fear, she went forward slowly across the street, gained the farther pavement, stepped over the concrete coping, and stood, shivering violently, on the lawn, feeling like an interloper and a thief, yet held by morbid fascination. The children continued to romp. The boy was strong and swift, the girl stout and ungainly in her movements, not mistress of her body; he caught her and twisted her arm, roughly—Janet could hear her cries through the window-=when an elderly woman entered, seized him, struggling with him. He put out his tongue at her, but presently released his sister, who stood rubbing her arm, her lips moving in evident recrimination and complaint. The faces of the two were plain now; the boy resembled Ditmar, but the features of the girl, heavy and stamped with self-indulgence, were evidently reminiscent of the woman who had been his wife. Then the shade was pulled down, abruptly; and Janet, overcome by a sense of horror at her position, took to flight....

Through the drawn blinds, the lights on the second floor glowed yellow. A dim lamp flickered in the deep entryway, like a sanctuary. Then, as if some supernatural beam had pierced a square opening in the lower walls, a view of the interior was revealed to her, of the living room at the back of the house. Two figures were playing around the center table—Ditmar's kids! Was Ditmar there? Driven by an overwhelming curiosity that pushed aside her disgust and fear, she slowly crossed the street, made it to the other sidewalk, stepped over the concrete edge, and stood, shaking uncontrollably, on the lawn, feeling like an intruder and a thief, but strangely captivated. The kids kept playing. The boy was strong and quick, while the girl was heavy and awkward in her movements, struggling with her body; he caught her and twisted her arm roughly—Janet could hear her screams through the window—when an older woman came in, grabbed him, wrestling with him. He stuck his tongue out at her, but eventually let go of his sister, who stood rubbing her arm, her lips moving in evident blame and complaint. She could now see the kids' faces clearly; the boy looked like Ditmar, but the girl's features, heavy and marked by indulgence, clearly resembled the woman who had been his wife. Then the shade was pulled down suddenly, and Janet, consumed by horror at her situation, ran away....

When, after covering the space of a block she slowed down and tried to imagine herself as established in that house, the stepmother of those children, she found it impossible. Despite the fact that her attention had been focussed so strongly on them, the fringe of her vision had included their surroundings, the costly furniture, the piano against the farther wall, the music rack. Evidently the girl was learning to play. She felt a renewed, intenser bitterness against her own lot: she was aware of something within her better and finer than the girl, than the woman who had been her mother had possessed—that in her, Janet, had lacked the advantages of development. Could it—could it ever be developed now? Had this love which had come to her brought her any nearer to the unknown realm of light she craved?...

When she slowed down after walking a block and tried to picture herself living in that house as the stepmother of those kids, she found it impossible. Even though she had focused so much on them, she couldn’t help but notice their surroundings—the expensive furniture, the piano against the far wall, the music rack. Clearly, the girl was learning to play. She felt a fresh wave of bitterness about her own situation: she realized there was something in her that was better and more refined than what the girl or her mother ever had—something in her, Janet, that had been deprived of the chance to grow. Could it—could it ever be developed now? Had this love that had come to her brought her any closer to the unknown brightness she longed for?...





CHAPTER XI

Though December had come, Sunday was like an April day before whose sunlight the night-mists of scruples and morbid fears were scattered and dispersed. And Janet, as she fared forth from the Fillmore Street flat, felt resurging in her the divine recklessness that is the very sap of life. The future, save of the immediate hours to come, lost its power over her. The blue and white beauty of the sky proclaimed all things possible for the strong; and the air was vibrant with the sweet music of bells, calling her to happiness. She was going to meet happiness, to meet love—to meet Ditmar! The trolley which she took in Faber Street, though lagging in its mission, seemed an agent of that happiness as it left the city behind it and wound along the heights beside the tarvia roadway above the river, bright glimpses of which she caught through the openings in the woods. And when she looked out of the window on her right she beheld on a little forested rise a succession of tiny “camps” built by residents of Hampton whose modest incomes could not afford more elaborate summer places; camps of all descriptions and colours, with queer names that made her smile: “The Cranny,” “The Nook,” “Snug Harbour,” “Buena Vista,”—of course,—which she thought pretty, though she did not know its meaning; and another, in German, equally perplexing, “Klein aber Mein.” Though the windows of these places were now boarded up, though the mosquito netting still clung rather dismally to the porches, they were mutely suggestive of contentment and domestic joy.

Though December had arrived, Sunday felt like an April day, brightening the darkness of worries and fears. As Janet stepped out of the Fillmore Street flat, she felt a surge of the joy that is at the core of life. The future, aside from the hours ahead, lost its hold on her. The beauty of the blue and white sky promised endless possibilities; the air was filled with the sweet sound of bells, calling her to happiness. She was off to find happiness, to find love—to find Ditmar! The trolley she boarded on Faber Street, though slow, seemed to be a vehicle of that happiness as it left the city behind and followed the heights alongside the road above the river, where she caught glimpses of its brightness through gaps in the trees. Looking out the window on her right, she saw a little wooded rise dotted with tiny “camps” built by Hampton residents whose modest means didn’t allow for fancier summer homes; camps of all shapes and colors, with funny names that made her smile: “The Cranny,” “The Nook,” “Snug Harbour,” “Buena Vista,”—which she thought was pretty, even though she didn’t know what it meant; and another, in German, equally puzzling, “Klein aber Mein.” Even though the windows of these places were boarded up and the mosquito netting still hung drearily on the porches, they quietly suggested happiness and homey warmth.

Scarcely had she alighted from the car at the rendezvous he had mentioned, beside the now deserted boathouse where in the warm weather the members of the Hampton Rowing Club disported themselves, when she saw an automobile approaching—and recognized it as the gay “roadster” Ditmar had exhibited to her that summer afternoon by the canal; and immediately Ditmar himself, bringing it to a stop and leaping from it, stood before her in the sunlight, radiating, as it seemed, more sunlight still. With his clipped, blond moustache and his straw-coloured hair—as yet but slightly grey at the temples—he looked a veritable conquering berserker in his huge coat of golden fur. Never had he appeared to better advantage.

As soon as she got out of the car at the meeting spot he had mentioned, next to the now empty boathouse where the members of the Hampton Rowing Club used to enjoy themselves in the warm weather, she saw a car coming—recognizing it as the stylish “roadster” Ditmar had shown her that summer afternoon by the canal. Then Ditmar himself brought it to a stop and jumped out, standing before her in the sunlight, practically radiating more light. With his neatly trimmed blond mustache and his straw-colored hair—only a little grey at the temples—he looked like a true conquering warrior in his big coat made of golden fur. He had never looked better.

“I was waiting for you,” he said, “I saw you in the car.” Turning to the automobile, he stripped the tissue paper from a cluster of dark red roses with the priceless long stems of which Lise used to rave when she worked in the flower store. And he held the flowers against her suit her new suit she had worn for this meeting.

“I was waiting for you,” he said, “I saw you in the car.” Turning to the car, he tore the tissue paper off a bunch of dark red roses with the long stems that Lise used to rave about when she worked in the flower shop. He held the flowers up to her new suit that she had worn for this meeting.

“Oh,” she cried, taking a deep, intoxicating breath of their fragrance. “You brought these—for me?”

“Oh,” she exclaimed, taking a deep, intoxicating breath of their scent. “You brought these—for me?”

“From Boston—my beauty!”

"From Boston—my love!"

“But I can't wear all of them!”

“But I can't wear all of them!”

“Why not?” he demanded. “Haven't you a pin?”

“Why not?” he asked. “Don’t you have a pin?”

She produced one, attaching them with a gesture that seemed habitual, though the thought of their value-revealing in some degree her own worth in his eyes-unnerved her. She was warmly conscious of his gaze. Then he turned, and opening a compartment at the back of the car drew from it a bright tweed motor coat warmly lined.

She pulled one out, attaching it with a movement that felt routine, even though the idea of it showing her worth in his eyes made her anxious. She was very aware of his gaze on her. Then he turned around, opened a compartment in the back of the car, and took out a bright tweed motor coat that was nicely lined.

“Oh, no!” she protested, drawing back. “I'll—I'll be warm enough.” But laughingly, triumphantly, he seized her and thrust her arms in the sleeves, his fingers pressing against her. Overcome by shyness, she drew away from him.

“Oh, no!” she protested, pulling back. “I’ll—I’ll be warm enough.” But laughing and feeling victorious, he grabbed her and pushed her arms into the sleeves, his fingers against her skin. Feeling shy, she pulled away from him.

“I made a pretty good guess at the size—didn't I, Janet?” he cried, delightedly surveying her. “I couldn't forget it!” His glance grew more concentrated, warmer, penetrating.

“I took a pretty good guess at the size—didn't I, Janet?” he exclaimed, happily looking her over. “I couldn't forget it!” His gaze became more focused, warmer, and more intense.

“You mustn't look at me like that!” she pleaded with lowered eyes.

“You can't look at me like that!” she pleaded, looking down.

“Why not—you're mine—aren't you? You're mine, now.”

“Why not—you belong to me—don't you? You’re mine now.”

“I don't know. There are lots of things I want to talk about,” she replied, but her protest sounded feeble, unconvincing, even to herself. He fairly lifted her into the automobile—it was a caress, only tempered by the semi-publicity of the place. He was giving her no time to think—but she did not want to, think. Starting the engine, he got in and leaned toward her.

“I don’t know. There are a lot of things I want to talk about,” she replied, but her protest sounded weak, unconvincing, even to herself. He practically lifted her into the car—it felt like a gentle touch, only held back by the semi-public nature of the place. He wasn’t giving her any time to think—but she didn’t want to think. Starting the engine, he got in and leaned toward her.

“Not here!” she exclaimed.

“Not here!” she said.

“All right—I'll wait,” he agreed, tucking the robe about her deftly, solicitously, and she sank back against the seat, surrendering herself to the luxury, the wonder of being cherished, the caressing and sheltering warmth she felt of security and love, the sense of emancipation from discontent and sordidness and struggle. For a moment she closed her eyes, but opened them again to behold the transformed image of herself reflected in the windshield to confirm the illusion—if indeed it were one! The tweed coat seemed startlingly white in the sunlight, and the woman she saw, yet recognized as herself, was one of the fortunately placed of the earth with power and beauty at her command! And she could no longer imagine herself as the same person who the night before had stood in front of the house in Warren Street. The car was speeding over the smooth surface of the boulevard; the swift motion, which seemed to her like that of flying, the sparkling air, the brightness of the day, the pressure of Ditmar's shoulder against hers, thrilled her. She marvelled at his sure command over the machine, that responded like a live thing to his touch. On the wide, straight stretches it went at a mad pace that took her breath, and again, in turning a corner or passing another car, it slowed down, purring in meek obedience. Once she gasped: “Not so fast! I can't stand it.”

“All right—I’ll wait,” he said, wrapping the robe around her skillfully and with care. She leaned back in her seat, giving herself over to the luxury and joy of feeling cherished, the warm embrace of security and love washing over her, freeing her from dissatisfaction and struggle. For a moment, she closed her eyes but then opened them again to see her transformed reflection in the windshield, questioning whether it was even real! The tweed coat looked remarkably white in the sunlight, and the woman she recognized as herself appeared to be one of the fortunate ones in the world, possessing both power and beauty! She could hardly believe she was the same person who had stood outside the house on Warren Street just the night before. The car sped along the smooth boulevard; the swift movement felt almost like flying, with the sparkling air, the brightness of the day, and the weight of Ditmar's shoulder next to hers sending a thrill through her. She was amazed at how confidently he controlled the car, which responded to him like a living creature. On the long, straight stretches, they went at a breathtaking speed, and when turning a corner or overtaking another vehicle, it slowed down, purring compliantly. At one point, she gasped, “Not so fast! I can’t take it.”

He laughed and obeyed her. They glided between river and sky across the delicate fabric of a bridge which but a moment before she had seen in the distance. Running through the little village on the farther bank, they left the river.

He laughed and did what she said. They moved gracefully between the river and the sky over the delicate structure of a bridge that she had just spotted in the distance. As they passed through the small village on the other side, they left the river behind.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“Where are you headed?” she asked.

“Oh, for a little spin,” he answered indulgently, turning into a side road that wound through the woods and suddenly stopping. “Janet, we've got this day—this whole day to ourselves.” He seized and drew her to him, and she yielded dizzily, repaying the passion of his kiss, forgetful of past and future while he held her, whispering brokenly endearing phrases.

“Oh, for a little drive,” he replied affectionately, turning onto a side road that curled through the woods and suddenly stopping. “Janet, we have this day—this whole day to ourselves.” He pulled her close, and she melted into him, responding to the heat of his kiss, forgetting everything else while he held her, whispering sweet nothings.

“You'll ruin my roses,” she protested breathlessly, at last, when it seemed that she could no longer bear this embrace, nor the pressure of his lips. “There! you see you're crushing them!” She undid them, and buttoning the coat, held them to her face. Their odour made her faint: her eyes were clouded.

“You're going to ruin my roses,” she protested breathlessly, finally able to break free from the embrace and the pressure of his lips. “Look! You’re crushing them!” She pulled away, buttoned her coat, and held the roses to her face. Their scent made her lightheaded; her vision blurred.

“Listen, Claude!” she said at last,—it was the first time she had called him so—getting free. “You must be sensible! some one might come along.”

“Listen, Claude!” she finally said—it was the first time she had called him that—pulling away. “You need to be sensible! Someone might come by.”

“I'll never get enough of you!” he said. “I can't believe it yet.” And added irrelevantly: “Pin the roses outside.”

“I'll never get enough of you!” he said. “I still can’t believe it.” Then he added, out of nowhere: “Pin the roses outside.”

She shook her head. Something in her protested against this too public advertisement of their love.

She shook her head. Something inside her resisted this too public display of their love.

“I'd rather hold them,” she answered. “Let's go on.” He started the car again. “Listen, I want to talk to you, seriously. I've been thinking.”

“I’d rather hold them,” she replied. “Let’s keep going.” He started the car again. “Listen, I need to talk to you, seriously. I’ve been thinking.”

“Don't I know you've been thinking!” he told her exuberantly. “If I could only find out what's always going on in that little head of yours! If you keep on thinking you'll dry up, like a New England school-marm. And now do you know what you are? One of those dusky red roses just ready to bloom. Some day I'll buy enough to smother you in 'em.”

“Don't I know you've been thinking!” he told her excitedly. “If only I could figure out what's always going on in that little head of yours! If you keep thinking too much, you'll run out of ideas, like a New England schoolteacher. And do you know what you are? One of those deep red roses just about to bloom. Someday I'll buy enough to smother you in them.”

“Listen!” she repeated, making a great effort to calm herself, to regain something of that frame of mind in which their love had assumed the proportions of folly and madness, to summon up the scruples which, before she had left home that morning, she had resolved to lay before him, which she knew would return when she could be alone again. “I have to think—you won't,” she exclaimed, with a fleeting smile.

“Listen!” she said again, making a big effort to calm herself, to get back to that mindset where their love felt like foolishness and craziness, to bring up the doubts she had promised herself to share with him before she left home that morning, which she knew would come back when she was alone again. “I have to think—you won’t,” she exclaimed, with a brief smile.

“Well, what is it?” he assented. “You might as well get it off now.”

“Well, what is it?” he agreed. “You might as well say it now.”

And it took all her strength to say: “I don't see how I can marry you. I've told you the reasons. You're rich, and you have friends who wouldn't understand—and your children—they wouldn't understand. I—I'm nothing, I know it isn't right, I know you wouldn't be happy. I've never lived—in the kind of house you live in and known the kind of people you know, I shouldn't know what to do.”

And it took all her strength to say: “I don't see how I can marry you. I've explained my reasons. You're wealthy, and you have friends who wouldn't get it—and your kids—they wouldn't get it. I—I'm nothing, I know that’s not fair, I know you wouldn't be happy. I've never lived in a house like yours or been around people like you; I wouldn’t know what to do.”

He took his eyes off the road and glanced down at her curiously. His smile was self-confident, exultant.

He glanced away from the road and looked at her with curiosity. His smile was self-assured and triumphant.

“Now do you feel better—you little Puritan?” he said.

“Do you feel better now—you little Puritan?” he asked.

And perforce she smiled in return, a pucker appearing between her eyebrows.

And naturally, she smiled back, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

“I mean it,” she said. “I came out to tell you so. I know—it just isn't possible.”

“I mean it,” she said. “I came out to tell you that. I know—it just isn’t possible.”

“I'd marry you to-day if I could get a license,” he declared. “Why, you're worth any woman in America, I don't care who she is, or how much money she has.”

“I'd marry you today if I could get a license,” he said. “Honestly, you're worth any woman in America, no matter who she is or how much money she has.”

In spite of herself she was absurdly pleased.

In spite of herself, she was ridiculously happy.

“Now that is over, we won't discuss it again, do you understand? I've got you,” he said, “and I mean to hold on to you.”

“Now that it’s over, we won’t talk about it again, got it? I’ve got you,” he said, “and I plan to keep you.”

She sighed. He was driving slowly now along the sandy road, and with his hand on hers she simply could not think. The spell of his nearness, of his touch, which all nature that morning conspired to deepen, was too powerful to be broken, and something was calling to her, “Take this day, take this day,” drowning out the other voice demanding an accounting. She was living—what did it all matter? She yielded herself to the witchery of the hour, the sheer delight of forthfaring into the unknown.

She sighed. He was driving slowly now along the sandy road, and with his hand on hers, she just couldn't think. The magic of his closeness, of his touch, which everything in nature that morning seemed to amplify, was too strong to resist, and something inside her kept saying, “Embrace this day, embrace this day,” drowning out the other voice demanding answers. She was alive—what did it all matter? She surrendered to the enchantment of the moment, the pure joy of venturing into the unknown.

They turned away from the river, crossing the hills of a rolling country now open, now wooded, passing white farmhouses and red barns, and ancient, weather-beaten dwellings with hipped roofs and “lean-tos” which had been there in colonial days when the road was a bridle-path. Cows and horses stood gazing at them from warm paddocks, where the rich, black mud glistened, melted by the sun; chickens scratched and clucked in the barnyards or flew frantically across the road, sometimes within an ace of destruction. Janet flinched, but Ditmar would laugh, gleefully, boyishly.

They turned away from the river, crossing the hills of a rolling landscape that was sometimes open and sometimes wooded, passing white farmhouses and red barns, along with old, weathered homes with hipped roofs and lean-tos that had been there since colonial times when the road was just a bridle path. Cows and horses stood watching them from warm pastures, where the rich, black mud shimmered, warmed by the sun; chickens scratched and clucked in the yards or flew frantically across the road, often just barely avoiding disaster. Janet flinched, but Ditmar laughed, filled with glee and youthful excitement.

“We nearly got that one!” he would exclaim. And then he had to assure her that he wouldn't run over them.

“We almost got that one!” he would shout. And then he had to reassure her that he wouldn't run over them.

“I haven't run over one yet,—have I?” he would demand.

“I haven't run over one yet, have I?” he would ask.

“No, but you will, it's only luck.”

“No, but you will; it’s just luck.”

“Luck!” he cried derisively. “Skill! I wish I had a dollar for every one I got when I was learning to drive. There was a farmer over here in Chester—” and he proceeded to relate how he had had to pay for two turkeys. “He got my number, the old hayseed, he was laying for me, and the next time I went back that way he held me up for five dollars. I can remember the time when a man in a motor was an easy mark for every reuben in the county. They got rich on us.”

“Luck!” he scoffed. “Skill! I wish I had a dollar for every time I got burned while learning to drive. There was a farmer over in Chester—” and he went on to explain how he had to pay for two turkeys. “He got my number, that old hayseed, he was waiting for me, and the next time I came back that way he squeezed me for five dollars. I remember a time when a guy in a car was an easy target for every fool in the county. They got rich off us.”

She responded to his mood, which was wholly irresponsible, exuberant, and they laughed together like children, every little incident assuming an aspect irresistibly humorous. Once he stopped to ask an old man standing in his dooryard how far it was to Kingsbury.

She reacted to his carefree, lively mood, and they laughed together like kids, finding every little thing hilariously funny. At one point, he paused to ask an elderly man in his yard how far it was to Kingsbury.

“Wal, mebbe it's two mile, they mostly call it two,” said the patriarch, after due reflection, gathering his beard in his band. “Mebbe it's more.” His upper lip was blue, shaven, prehensile.

“Well, maybe it's two miles, they usually call it two,” said the patriarch, after some thought, pulling his beard into his hand. “Maybe it’s more.” His upper lip was blue, shaved, and grasping.

“What did you ask him for, when you know?” said Janet, mirthfully, when they had gone on, and Ditmar was imitating him. Ditmar's reply was to wink at her. Presently they saw another figure on the road.

“What did you ask him for, when you know?” Janet said playfully, as they moved on, and Ditmar was mimicking him. Ditmar's response was to wink at her. Soon, they spotted another figure on the road.

“Let's see what he'll say,” Ditmar proposed. This man was young, the colour of mahogany, with glistening black hair and glistening black eyes that regarded the too palpable joyousness of their holiday humour in mute surprise.

“Let’s see what he’ll say,” Ditmar suggested. This guy was young, with the color of mahogany, shiny black hair, and bright black eyes that looked at the obvious joy of their holiday spirit in silent surprise.

“I no know—stranger,” he said.

“I don’t know—stranger,” he said.

“No speaka Portugueso?” inquired Ditmar, gravely.

“Do you not speak Portuguese?” Ditmar asked seriously.

“The country is getting filthy with foreigners,” he observed, when he had started the car. “I went down to Plymouth last summer to see the old rock, and by George, it seemed as if there wasn't anybody could speak American on the whole cape. All the Portuguese islands are dumped there—cranberry pickers, you know.”

“The country is getting filthy with foreigners,” he remarked, after starting the car. “I went to Plymouth last summer to check out the old rock, and honestly, it felt like no one could speak English anywhere on the cape. All the Portuguese islands are just thrown in there—cranberry pickers, you know.”

“I didn't know that,” said Janet.

“I didn’t know that,” Janet said.

“Sure thing!” he exclaimed. “And when I got there, what do you think? there was hardly enough of the old stone left to stand on, and that had a fence around it like an exhibit in an exposition. It had all been chipped away by souvenir hunters.”

“Sure thing!” he exclaimed. “And when I got there, guess what? There was barely any of the old stone left to stand on, and it was surrounded by a fence like an exhibit at a fair. All of it had been worn away by souvenir hunters.”

She gazed at him incredulously.

She looked at him in disbelief.

“You don't believe me! I'll take you down there sometime. And another thing, the rock's high and dry—up on the land. I said to Charlie Crane, who was with me, that it must have been a peach of a jump for old Miles Standish and Priscilla what's her name.”

“You don't believe me! I'll take you down there sometime. And another thing, the rock's high and dry—up on the land. I told Charlie Crane, who was with me, that it must have been quite a jump for old Miles Standish and Priscilla whatever her name is.”

“How I'd love to see the ocean again!” Janet exclaimed.

“How I’d love to see the ocean again!” Janet exclaimed.

“Why, I'll take you—as often as you like,” he promised. “We'll go out on it in summer, up to Maine, or down to the Cape.”

“Sure, I'll take you—whenever you want,” he promised. “We'll go out on it in the summer, up to Maine or down to the Cape.”

Her enchantment was now so great that nothing seemed impossible.

Her fascination was now so intense that nothing seemed out of reach.

“And we'll go down to Plymouth, too, some Sunday soon, if this weather keeps up. If we start early enough we can get there for lunch, easy. We'll see the rock. I guess some of your ancestors must have come over with that Mayflower outfit—first cabin, eh? You look like it.”

“And we'll head down to Plymouth, too, some Sunday soon, if this weather stays nice. If we leave early enough, we can easily get there in time for lunch. We'll see the rock. I bet some of your ancestors came over with that Mayflower group—first class, right? You definitely look like it.”

Janet laughed. “It's a joke on them, if they did. I wonder what they'd think of Hampton, if they could see it now. I counted up once, just to tease father—he's the seventh generation from Ebenezer Bumpus, who came to Dolton. Well, I proved to him he might have one hundred and twenty-six other ancestors besides Ebenezer and his wife.”

Janet laughed. “It’s a joke on them if they did. I wonder what they’d think of Hampton if they could see it now. I counted them up once, just to tease Dad—he’s the seventh generation from Ebenezer Bumpus, who came to Dolton. Well, I proved to him he could have one hundred and twenty-six other ancestors besides Ebenezer and his wife.”

“That must have jarred him some,” was Ditmar's comment. “Great old man, your father. I've talked to him—he's a regular historical society all by himself. Well, there must be something in it, this family business. Now, you can tell he comes from fine old American stock-he looks it.”

“That must have shocked him a bit,” Ditmar said. “Your father is quite the character. I’ve had conversations with him—he’s like a walking history book. There’s definitely something to this family legacy. You can see he comes from solid American roots—he just has that look.”

Janet flushed. “A lot of good it does!” she exclaimed.

Janet blushed. “What good does that do?!” she exclaimed.

“I don't know,” said Ditmar. “It's something to fall back on—a good deal. And he hasn't got any of that nonsense in his head about labour unions—he's a straight American. And you look the part,” he added. “You remind me—I never thought of it until now—you remind me of a picture of Priscilla I saw once in a book of poems Longfellow's, you know. I'm not much on literature, but I remember that, and I remember thinking she could have me. Funny isn't it, that you should have come along? But you've got more ginger than the woman in that picture. I'm the only man that ever guessed it isn't that so?” he asked jealously.

“I don’t know,” Ditmar said. “It’s something reliable—a great opportunity. And he doesn’t have any of that crazy stuff about labor unions in his head—he's a true American. And you look the part,” he added. “You remind me—I never thought of it until now—you remind me of a picture of Priscilla I once saw in a book of poems by Longfellow, you know. I’m not really into literature, but that stuck with me, and I remember thinking she could have me. It’s funny, isn’t it, that you should have shown up? But you’ve got more spirit than the woman in that picture. I’m the only one who ever figured that out, isn’t that right?” he asked with a hint of jealousy.

“You're wonderful!” retorted Janet, daringly.

“You're amazing!” retorted Janet, boldly.

“You just bet I am, or I couldn't have landed you,” he asserted. “You're chock full of ginger, but it's been all corked up. You're so prim-so Priscilla.” He was immensely pleased with the adjective he had coined, repeating it. “It's a great combination. When I think of it, I want to shake you, to squeeze you until you scream.”

“You bet I am, or I wouldn’t have been able to catch your attention,” he said confidently. “You’re full of spirit, but it’s all bottled up. You’re so proper—so Priscilla.” He was really pleased with the term he had come up with, saying it again. “It’s a perfect mix. Just thinking about it makes me want to shake you, to squeeze you until you yell.”

“Then please don't think of it,” she said.

“Then please don’t think about it,” she said.

“That's easy!” he exclaimed, mockingly.

"That's easy!" he said, sarcastically.

At a quarter to one they entered a sleepy village reminiscent of a New England of other days. The long street, deeply shaded in summer, was bordered by decorous homes, some of which had stood there for a century and a half; others were of the Mansard period. The high school, of strawberry-coloured brick, had been the pride and glory of the Kingsbury of the '70s: there were many churches, some graceful and some hideous. At the end of the street they came upon a common, surrounded by stone posts and a railing, with a monument in the middle of it, and facing the common on the north side was a rambling edifice with many white gables, in front of which, from an iron arm on a post, swung a quaint sign, “Kingsbury Tavern.” In revolutionary and coaching days the place bad been a famous inn; and now, thanks to the enterprise of a man who had foreseen the possibilities of an era of automobiles, it had become even more famous. A score of these modern vehicles were drawn up before it under the bare, ancient elms; there was a scene of animation on the long porch, where guests strolled up and down or sat in groups in the rocking-chairs which the mild weather had brought forth again. Ditmar drew up in line with the other motors, and stopped.

At a quarter to one, they entered a sleepy village that felt like a throwback to an earlier New England. The long street, heavily shaded in summer, was lined with respectable homes, some of which had been there for a century and a half, while others dated back to the Mansard period. The high school, made of strawberry-colored brick, had been the pride of Kingsbury in the '70s: there were many churches, some elegant and others unattractive. At the end of the street, they found a common, surrounded by stone posts and a railing, with a monument in the center. Facing the common on the north side was a sprawling building with numerous white gables, in front of which swung a quirky sign from an iron arm on a post that read “Kingsbury Tavern.” In revolutionary times and during the coaching era, this place had been a well-known inn; now, thanks to a visionary man who had recognized the potential of the automobile age, it was even more famous. A dozen of these modern vehicles were parked in front of it beneath the bare, ancient elms; the long porch buzzed with activity as guests strolled back and forth or sat in groups in the rocking chairs that the mild weather had brought out again. Ditmar pulled up in line with the other cars and stopped.

“Well, here we are!” he exclaimed, as he pulled off his gauntlets. “I guess I could get along with something to eat. How about you? They treat you as well here as any place I know of in New England.”

“Well, here we are!” he said, as he took off his gloves. “I could go for something to eat. How about you? They take good care of you here, just like any place I know in New England.”

He assumed their lunching together at a public place as a matter of course to which there could not possibly be an objection, springing out of the car, removing the laprobe from her knees, and helping her to alight. She laid the roses on the seat.

He took it for granted that having lunch together in a public place was perfectly fine. He jumped out of the car, took the blanket off her lap, and helped her get out. She placed the roses on the seat.

“Aren't you going to bring them along?” he demanded.

“Aren't you going to bring them with you?” he asked.

“I'd rather not,” she said. “Don't you think they'll be safe here?”

“I'd rather not,” she said. “Don’t you think they’ll be safe here?”

“Oh, I guess so,” he replied. She was always surprising him; but her solicitation concerning them was a balm, and he found all such instinctive acts refreshing.

“Oh, I guess so,” he replied. She always surprised him; but her concern for them was comforting, and he found all those instinctive actions refreshing.

“Afraid of putting up too much of a front, are you?” he asked smilingly.

“Are you worried about putting on too much of a show?” he asked with a smile.

“I'd rather leave them here,” she replied. As she walked beside Ditmar to the door she was excited, unwontedly self-conscious, painfully aware of inspection by the groups on the porch. She had seen such people as these hurrying in automobiles through the ugliness of Faber Street in Hampton toward just such delectable spots as this village of Kingsbury—people of that world of freedom and privilege from which she was excluded; Ditmar's world. He was at home here. But she? The delusion that she somehow had been miraculously snatched up into it was marred by their glances. What were they thinking of her? Her face was hot as she passed them and entered the hall, where more people were gathered. But Ditmar's complacency, his ease and self-confidence, his manner of owning the place, as it were, somewhat reassured her. He went up to the desk, behind which, stood a burly, red-complexioned man who greeted him effusively, yet with the air of respect accorded the powerful.

“I'd rather leave them here,” she said. As she walked next to Ditmar toward the door, she felt excited but unusually self-conscious, keenly aware of the scrutiny from the groups on the porch. She had seen people like them speeding by in cars through the grimness of Faber Street in Hampton heading to just such charming places as this village of Kingsbury—people from that world of freedom and privilege that excluded her; Ditmar's world. He belonged here. But she? The illusion that she had somehow been miraculously swept up into it was tainted by their looks. What were they thinking about her? Her face burned as she walked past them and entered the hall, where more people were gathered. But Ditmar's confidence, his ease and self-assuredness, his way of owning the place, somewhat reassured her. He approached the desk, behind which stood a stout, red-faced man who greeted him warmly, yet with the respect usually reserved for the powerful.

“Hullo, Eddie,” said Ditmar. “You've got a good crowd here to-day. Any room for me?”

“Helo, Eddie,” said Ditmar. “You have a good crowd here today. Is there any room for me?”

“Sure, Mr. Ditmar, we can always make room for you. Well, I haven't laid eyes on you for a dog's age. Only last Sunday Mr. Crane was here, and I was asking him where you'd been keeping yourself.”

“Sure, Mr. Ditmar, we can always make room for you. Well, I haven't seen you in ages. Just last Sunday, Mr. Crane was here, and I was asking him where you’ve been hiding out.”

“Why, I've been busy, Eddie. I've landed the biggest order ever heard of in Hampton. Some of us have to work, you know; all you've got to do is to loaf around this place and smoke cigars and rake in the money.”

“Why, I've been busy, Eddie. I just landed the biggest order ever heard of in Hampton. Some of us have to work, you know; all you do is lounge around here, smoke cigars, and rake in the cash.”

The proprietor of the Kingsbury Tavern smiled indulgently at this persiflage.

The owner of the Kingsbury Tavern smiled kindly at this playful banter.

“Let me present you to Miss Bumpus,” said Ditmar. “This is my friend, Eddie Hale,” he added, for Janet's benefit. “And when you've eaten his dinner you'll believe me when I say he's got all the other hotel men beaten a mile.”

“Let me introduce you to Miss Bumpus,” said Ditmar. “This is my friend, Eddie Hale,” he added, for Janet's benefit. “And after you've had his dinner, you’ll see I’m right when I say he outshines all the other hotel guys by a mile.”

Janet smiled and flushed. She had been aware of Mr. Hale's discreet glance.

Janet smiled and blushed. She had noticed Mr. Hale's subtle glance.

“Pleased to meet you, Miss Bumpus,” he said, with a somewhat elaborate bow.

“Nice to meet you, Miss Bumpus,” he said, with a slightly exaggerated bow.

“Eddie,” said Ditmar, “have you got a nice little table for us?”

“Eddie,” Ditmar said, “do you have a nice little table for us?”

“It's a pity I didn't know you was coming, but I'll do my best,” declared Mr. Hale, opening the door in the counter.

“It's a shame I didn't know you were coming, but I'll do my best,” said Mr. Hale, opening the door in the counter.

“Oh, I guess you can fix us all right, if you want to, Eddie.”

“Oh, I guess you can fix us all up just fine, if you want to, Eddie.”

“Mr. Ditmar's a great josher,” Mr. Hale told Janet confidentially as he escorted them into the dining-room. And Ditmar, gazing around over the heads of the diners, spied in an alcove by a window a little table with tilted chairs.

“Mr. Ditmar's a real jokester,” Mr. Hale told Janet quietly as he led them into the dining room. And Ditmar, looking around over the heads of the diners, noticed a small table with tilted chairs by a window in an alcove.

“That one'll do,” he said.

“That one will do,” he said.

“I'm sorry, but it's engaged,” apologized Mr. Hale.

“I'm sorry, but it's busy,” Mr. Hale apologized.

“Forget it, Eddie—tell 'em they're late,” said Ditmar, making his way toward it.

“Forget it, Eddie—just tell them they're late,” said Ditmar, heading over to it.

The proprietor pulled out Janet's chair.

The owner pulled out Janet's chair.

“Say,” he remarked, “it's no wonder you get along in business.”

“Hey,” he said, “it's no surprise you do well in business.”

“Well, this is cosy, isn't it?” said Ditmar to Janet when they were alone. He handed her the menu, and snapped his fingers for a waitress.

“Well, this is cozy, isn't it?” Ditmar said to Janet when they were alone. He handed her the menu and snapped his fingers for a waitress.

“Why didn't you tell me you were coming to this place?” she asked.

“Why didn’t you let me know you were coming here?” she asked.

“I wanted to surprise you. Don't you like it?”

“I wanted to surprise you. Do you not like it?”

“Yes,” she replied. “Only—”

“Yes,” she said. “Only—”

“Only, what?”

"Only, what’s up?"

“I wish you wouldn't look at me like that—here.”

“I wish you wouldn't look at me like that—right here.”

“All right. I'll try to be good until we get into the car again. You watch me! I'll behave as if we'd been married ten years.”

“All right. I'll try to be good until we’re back in the car. Just watch me! I’ll act like we’ve been married for ten years.”

He snapped his fingers again, and the waitress hurried up to take their orders.

He snapped his fingers again, and the waitress quickly came over to take their orders.

“Kingsbury's still dry, I guess,” he said to the girl, who smiled sympathetically, somewhat ruefully. When she had gone he began to talk to Janet about the folly, in general, of prohibition, the fuse oil distributed on the sly. “I'll bet I could go out and find half a dozen rum shops within a mile of here!” he declared.

“Kingsbury's still dry, I guess,” he said to the girl, who smiled sympathetically, a bit sadly. After she left, he started discussing with Janet the foolishness of prohibition and the secretive distribution of hooch. “I bet I could go out and find half a dozen speakeasies within a mile of here!” he declared.

Janet did not doubt it. Ditmar's aplomb, his faculty of getting what he wanted, had amused and distracted her. She was growing calmer, able to scrutinize, at first covertly and then more boldly the people at the other tables, only to discover that she and Ditmar were not the objects of the universal curiosity she had feared. Once in a while, indeed, she encountered and then avoided the glance of some man, felt the admiration in it, was thrilled a little, and her sense of exhilaration returned as she regained her poise. She must be nice looking—more than that—in her new suit. On entering the tavern she had taken off the tweed coat, which Ditmar had carried and laid on a chair. This new and amazing adventure began to go to her head like wine....

Janet didn't doubt it. Ditmar's confidence and his ability to get what he wanted had amused and distracted her. She was becoming calmer, able to observe, first secretly and then more openly, the people at the other tables, only to realize that she and Ditmar weren't the center of the universal curiosity she had feared. Occasionally, she did catch and then quickly look away from the gaze of some man, sensed the admiration in it, felt a little thrill, and her sense of exhilaration returned as she regained her composure. She must look good—better than that—in her new suit. When she entered the tavern, she'd taken off the tweed coat that Ditmar had carried and placed on a chair. This new and exciting adventure was starting to intoxicate her....

When luncheon was over they sat in a sunny corner of the porch while Ditmar smoked his cigar. His digestion was good, his spirits high, his love-making—on account of the public nature of the place—surreptitious yet fervent. The glamour to which Janet had yielded herself was on occasions slightly troubled by some new and enigmatic element to be detected in his voice and glances suggestive of intentions vaguely disquieting. At last she said:

When lunch was over, they sat in a sunny corner of the porch while Ditmar smoked his cigar. He felt great, his spirits were high, and his flirting—due to the public setting—was secretive but passionate. The allure that Janet had given in to was sometimes slightly disturbed by some new and mysterious quality in his voice and looks that hinted at unsettling intentions. Finally, she said:

“Oughtn't we to be going home?”

“Oughtn't we to be going home?”

“Home!” he ridiculed the notion. “I'm going to take you to the prettiest road you ever saw—around by French's Lower Falls. I only wish it was summer.”

“Home!” he mocked the idea. “I'm going to take you on the prettiest road you've ever seen—around by French's Lower Falls. I just wish it was summer.”

“I must be home before dark,” she told him. “You see, the family don't know where I am. I haven't said anything to them about—about this.”

“I need to be home before dark,” she told him. “You see, my family doesn’t know where I am. I haven’t told them anything about—about this.”

“That's right,” he said, after a moment's hesitation:

“That's right,” he said, after a brief pause:

“I didn't think you would. There's plenty of time for that—after things get settled a little—isn't there?”

“I didn't think you would. There's plenty of time for that—once things settle down a bit—right?”

She thought his look a little odd, but the impression passed as they walked to the motor. He insisted now on her pinning the roses on the tweed coat, and she humoured him. The winter sun had already begun to drop, and with the levelling rays the bare hillsides, yellow and brown in the higher light, were suffused with pink; little by little, as the sun fell lower, imperceptible clouds whitened the blue cambric of the sky, distant copses were stained lilac. And Janet, as she gazed, wondered at a world that held at once so much beauty, so much joy and sorrow,—such strange sorrow as began to invade her now, not personal, but cosmic. At times it seemed almost to suffocate her; she drew in deep breaths of air: it was the essence of all things—of the man by her side, of herself, of the beauty so poignantly revealed to her.

She thought his expression was a bit strange, but that feeling faded as they walked to the car. He insisted on her pinning the roses onto her tweed coat, and she went along with it. The winter sun was already starting to set, and with its gentle light, the bare hillsides, which appeared yellow and brown in the brighter light, were washed in pink; slowly, as the sun sank lower, subtle clouds began to white out the blue sky, and distant groups of trees were tinted lilac. And Janet, as she looked around, marveled at a world that held so much beauty, joy, and sorrow — such an odd sorrow that started to wash over her now, not personal, but universal. At times, it felt almost suffocating; she took deep breaths: it was the essence of everything — of the man beside her, of herself, of the beauty that was so vividly laid bare to her.

Gradually Ditmar became conscious of this detachment, this new evidence of an extraordinary faculty of escaping him that seemed unimpaired. Constantly he tried by leaning closer to her, by reaching out his hand, to reassure himself that she was at least physically present. And though she did not resent these tokens, submitting passively, he grew perplexed and troubled; his optimistic atheism concerning things unseen was actually shaken by the impression she conveyed of beholding realities hidden from him. Shadows had begun to gather in the forest, filmy mists to creep over the waters. He asked if she were cold, and she shook her head and sighed as one coming out of a trance, smiling at him.

Gradually, Ditmar became aware of this detachment, this new sign of an amazing ability to escape him that seemed unchanged. He constantly tried to reassure himself of her physical presence by leaning closer and reaching out his hand. Although she didn't mind these gestures and submitted passively, he became confused and uneasy; his hopeful disbelief in unseen things was actually shaken by the impression she gave of seeing realities that were hidden from him. Shadows began to gather in the forest, and thin mists crept over the water. He asked if she was cold, and she shook her head and sighed as if coming out of a trance, smiling at him.

“It's been a wonderful day!” she said.

“It's been a great day!” she said.

“The greatest ever!” he agreed. And his ardour, mounting again, swept away the unwonted mood of tenderness and awe she had inspired in him, made him bold to suggest the plan which had been the subject of an ecstatic contemplation.

“The greatest ever!” he agreed. And his excitement, rising once more, pushed aside the unfamiliar feelings of tenderness and awe she had inspired in him, giving him the courage to propose the plan that had been on his mind in a state of ecstatic contemplation.

“I'll tell you what we'll do,” he said, “we'll take a little run down to Boston and have dinner together. We'll be there in an hour, and back by ten o'clock.”

“I'll tell you what we should do,” he said, “let's take a quick trip down to Boston and have dinner together. We'll get there in an hour and be back by ten o'clock.”

“To Boston!” she repeated. “Now?”

“Going to Boston!” she repeated. “Now?”

“Why not?” he said, stopping the car. “Here's the road—it's a boulevard all the way.”

“Why not?” he said, pulling over. “Here’s the road—it’s a boulevard all the way.”

It was not so much the proposal as the passion in his voice, in his touch, the passion to which she felt herself responding that filled her with apprehension and dismay, and yet aroused her pride and anger.

It wasn't just the proposal but the passion in his voice and touch, the passion that made her feel something in return, that filled her with anxiety and distress, yet also ignited her pride and anger.

“I told you I had to be home,” she said.

“I told you I had to be home,” she said.

“I'll have you home by ten o'clock; I promise. We're going to be married, Janet,” he whispered.

“I'll have you home by ten o'clock; I promise. We're getting married, Janet,” he whispered.

“Oh, if you meant to marry me you wouldn't ask me to do this!” she cried. “I want to go back to Hampton. If you won't take me, I'll walk.”

“Oh, if you really intended to marry me, you wouldn't ask me to do this!” she exclaimed. “I want to go back to Hampton. If you won't take me, I'll walk.”

She had drawn away from him, and her hand was on the door. He seized her arm.

She pulled away from him, and her hand was on the door. He grabbed her arm.

“For God's sake, don't take it that way!” he cried, in genuine alarm. “All I meant was—that we'd have a nice little dinner. I couldn't bear to leave you, it'll be a whole week before we get another day. Do you suppose I'd—I'd do anything to insult you, Janet?”

“For God's sake, don’t take it that way!” he shouted, genuinely alarmed. “All I meant was that we’d have a nice little dinner. I couldn’t stand to leave you; it’ll be a whole week before we get another day. Do you think I’d—I'd do anything to insult you, Janet?”

With her fingers still tightened over the door-catch she turned and looked at him.

With her fingers still gripping the door latch, she turned and looked at him.

“I don't know,” she said slowly. “Sometimes I think you would. Why shouldn't you? Why should you marry me? Why shouldn't you try to do with me what you've done with other women? I don't know anything about the world, about life. I'm nobody. Why shouldn't you?”

“I don’t know,” she said slowly. “Sometimes I think you would. Why shouldn’t you? Why should you marry me? Why shouldn’t you try to do with me what you’ve done with other women? I don’t know anything about the world, about life. I’m nobody. Why shouldn’t you?”

“Because you're not like the other women—that's why. I love you—won't you believe it?” He was beside himself with anxiety. “Listen—I'll take you home if you want to go. You don't know how it hurts me to have you think such things!”

“It's because you're different from the other women—that's why. I love you—can’t you believe that?” He was overwhelmed with anxiety. “Listen—I can take you home if that’s what you want. You don’t know how much it hurts me to think you feel this way!”

“Well, then, take me home,” she said. It was but gradually that she became pacified. A struggle was going on within her between these doubts of him he had stirred up again and other feelings aroused by his pleadings. Night fell, and when they reached the Silliston road the lights of Hampton shone below them in the darkness.

“Well, then, take me home,” she said. It was only gradually that she calmed down. A struggle was happening inside her between the doubts he had raised again and other feelings brought on by his pleas. Night fell, and when they arrived at the Silliston road, the lights of Hampton glowed below them in the darkness.

“You'd better let me out here,” she said. “You can't drive me home.”

“You should drop me off here,” she said. “You can’t take me home.”

He brought the car to a halt beside one of the small wooden shelters built for the convenience of passengers.

He stopped the car next to one of the small wooden shelters made for the convenience of passengers.

“You forgive me—you understand, Janet?” he asked.

“You forgive me—you get it, Janet?” he asked.

“Sometimes I don't know what to think,” she said, and suddenly clung to him. “I—I forgive you. I oughtn't to suspect such things, but I'm like that. I'm horrid and I can't help it.” She began to unbutton the coat he had bought for her.

“Sometimes I just don’t know what to think,” she said, suddenly wrapping her arms around him. “I—I forgive you. I shouldn’t suspect those things, but I’m like that. I’m awful and I can’t help it.” She started to unbutton the coat he had bought for her.

“Aren't you going to take it?” he said. “It's yours.”

“Are you not going to take it?” he said. “It’s yours.”

“And what do you suppose my family would say if I told them Mr. Ditmar had given it to me?”

“And what do you think my family would say if I told them Mr. Ditmar gave it to me?”

“Come on, I'll drive you home, I'll tell them I gave it to you, that we're going to be married,” he announced recklessly.

“Come on, I'll give you a ride home. I'll tell them I gave it to you and that we're getting married,” he said impulsively.

“Oh, no!” she exclaimed in consternation. “You couldn't. You said so yourself—that you didn't want, any one to know, now. I'll get on the trolley.”

“Oh, no!” she said, shocked. “You can’t. You said so yourself—that you didn’t want anyone to know right now. I’ll take the trolley.”

“And the roses?” he asked.

"And the roses?" he asked.

She pressed them to her face, and chose one. “I'll take this,” she said, laying the rest on the seat....

She pressed them to her face and picked one. “I’ll take this,” she said, laying the others on the seat....

He waited until he saw her safely on the trolley car, and then drove slowly homeward in a state of amazement. He had been on the verge of announcing himself to the family in Fillmore Street as her prospective husband! He tried to imagine what that household was like; and again he found himself wondering why she had not consented to his proposal. And the ever-recurring question presented itself—was he prepared to go that length? He didn't know. She was beyond him, he had no clew to her, she was to him as mysterious as a symphony. Certain strains of her moved him intensely—the rest was beyond his grasp.... At supper, while his children talked and laughed boisterously, he sat silent, restless, and in spite of their presence the house seemed appallingly empty.

He waited until he saw her safely on the trolley car, and then drove slowly home in a state of wonder. He had almost announced himself to the family on Fillmore Street as her future husband! He tried to picture what that household was like, and again he found himself questioning why she hadn’t accepted his proposal. And the recurring question came up—was he ready to take that step? He didn’t know. She was beyond him, he had no idea what she was thinking, she felt as mysterious to him as a symphony. Certain parts of her moved him deeply—the rest was just out of reach.... At dinner, while his kids talked and laughed noisily, he sat quietly, restless, and despite their presence, the house felt incredibly empty.

When Janet returned home she ran to her bedroom, and taking from the wardrobe the tissue paper that had come with her new dress, and which she had carefully folded, she wrapped the rose in it, and put it away in the back of a drawer. Thus smothered, its fragrance stifled, it seemed emblematic, somehow, of the clandestine nature of her love....

When Janet got home, she hurried to her bedroom. She took the tissue paper that came with her new dress from the wardrobe, which she had carefully folded, and wrapped the rose in it before putting it in the back of a drawer. With its fragrance now stifled, it felt somehow symbolic of the secret nature of her love...

The weeks that immediately followed were strange ones. All the elements of life that previously had been realities, trivial yet fundamental, her work, her home, her intercourse with the family, became fantastic. There was the mill to which she went every day: she recognized it, yet it was not the same mill, nor was Fillmore Street the Fillmore Street of old. Nor did the new and feverish existence over whose borderland she had been transported seem real, save in certain hours she spent in Ditmar's company, when he made her forget—hers being a temperament to feel the weight of an unnatural secrecy. She was aware, for instance, that her mother and even her father thought her conduct odd, were anxious as to her absences on certain nights and on Sundays. She offered no explanation. It was impossible. She understood that the reason why they refrained from questioning her was due to a faith in her integrity as well as to a respect for her as a breadwinner who lead earned a right to independence. And while her suspicion of Hannah's anxiety troubled her, on the occasions when she thought of it, Lise's attitude disturbed her even more. From Lise she had been prepared for suspicion, arraignment, ridicule. What a vindication if it were disclosed that she, Janet, had a lover—and that lover Ditmar! But Lise said nothing. She was remote, self-absorbed. Hannah spoke about it on the evenings Janet stayed at home.

The weeks that followed were strange. All the aspects of life that used to feel real—her job, her home, her interactions with family—became surreal. There was the mill she went to every day; she recognized it, but it wasn’t the same mill, and Fillmore Street was no longer the Fillmore Street she knew. The new, frantic life she had entered didn’t seem real, except during the moments she spent with Ditmar, who made her forget—she was the type to feel the pressure of an unusual secret. She realized, for example, that her mother and even her father thought her behavior was strange and were worried about her absences on certain nights and Sundays. She didn’t offer any explanation. It was impossible. She understood that the reason they didn’t ask her about it was because they trusted her integrity and respected her as a breadwinner who had earned her independence. Although her worry about Hannah's anxiety bothered her when she considered it, Lise’s attitude troubled her even more. From Lise, she expected suspicion, accusations, ridicule. What a vindication it would be if it became known that she, Janet, had a lover—and that lover was Ditmar! But Lise said nothing. She was distant, wrapped up in her own world. Hannah brought it up on the nights Janet stayed home.

She would not consent to meet Ditmar every evening. Yet, as the days succeeded one another, Janet was often astonished by the fact that their love remained apparently unsuspected by Mr. Price and Caldwell and others in the office. They must have noticed, on some occasions, the manner in which Ditmar looked at her; and in business hours she had continually to caution him, to keep him in check. Again, on the evening excursions to which she consented, though they were careful to meet in unfrequented spots, someone might easily have recognized him; and she did not like to ponder over the number of young women in the other offices who knew her by sight. These reflections weighed upon her, particularly when she seemed conscious of curious glances. But what caused her the most concern was the constantly recurring pressure to which Ditmar himself subjected her, and which, as time went on, she found increasingly difficult to resist. He tried to take her by storm, and when this method failed, resorted to pleadings and supplications even harder to deny because of the innate feminine pity she felt for him. To recount these affairs would be a mere repetition of identical occurrences. On their second Sunday excursion he had actually driven her, despite her opposition, several miles on the Boston road; and her resistance only served to inflame him the more. It seemed, afterwards, as she sat unnerved, a miracle that she had stopped him. Then came reproaches: she would not trust him; they could not be married at once; she must understand that!—an argument so repugnant as to cause her to shake with sobs of inarticulate anger. After this he would grow bewildered, then repentant, then contrite. In contrition—had he known it—he was nearest to victory.

She wouldn't agree to meet Ditmar every evening. However, as the days went by, Janet was often surprised that their love seemed to go unnoticed by Mr. Price, Caldwell, and others at the office. They must have seen the way Ditmar looked at her on some occasions; during business hours, she constantly had to warn him to hold back. Even on the evening outings she went along with, though they were careful to meet in less crowded places, someone could have easily recognized him, and she didn't like thinking about how many young women in other offices knew her by sight. These thoughts weighed on her, especially when she sensed curious looks directed at her. But what worried her the most was the relentless pressure that Ditmar himself put on her, which, over time, became harder for her to resist. He tried to win her over outright, and when that didn't work, he resorted to pleading and begging that were even harder to refuse due to the natural compassion she felt for him. Recounting these experiences would just be repeating the same events. On their second Sunday trip, he had actually driven her, despite her protests, several miles down the Boston road; her resistance only seemed to excite him more. Afterwards, as she sat feeling shaken, it felt miraculous that she had managed to stop him. Then came the accusations: she wouldn’t trust him; they couldn’t get married right away; she had to understand that!—a reasoning so distasteful it made her tremble with unarticulated anger. After that, he would become confused, then regretful, then apologetic. In his regret—if he had only known—he was closest to winning her over.

As has been said, she did not intellectualize her reasons, but the core of her resistance was the very essence of an individuality having its roots in a self-respecting and self-controlling inheritance—an element wanting in her sister Lise. It must have been largely the thought of Lise, the spectacle of Lise—often perhaps unconsciously present that dominated her conduct; yet reinforcing such an ancestral sentiment was another, environmental and more complicated, the result in our modern atmosphere of an undefined feminism apt to reveal itself in many undesirable ways, but which in reality is a logical projection of the American tradition of liberty. To submit was not only to lose her liberty, to become a dependent, but also and inevitably, she thought, to lose Ditmar's love....

As mentioned, she didn’t overthink her reasons, but at the heart of her resistance was the true essence of an individuality rooted in self-respect and self-control—qualities lacking in her sister Lise. It likely stemmed from thoughts of Lise, the sight of Lise—often possibly subconsciously influencing her actions; yet alongside this ancestral feeling was another one, shaped by a more complex environmental factor, resulting from today’s vague feminism that can manifest in many undesirable ways, but in truth is a logical extension of the American tradition of freedom. To give in was not just to lose her freedom and become dependent, but also, she believed, to inevitably lose Ditmar’s love....

No experience, however, is emotionally continuous, nor was their intimacy by any means wholly on this plane of conflict. There were hours when, Ditmar's passion leaving spent itself, they achieved comradeship, in the office and out of it; revelations for Janet when he talked of himself, relating the little incidents she found most illuminating. And thus by degrees she was able to build up a new and truer estimate of him. For example, she began to perceive that his life outside of his interest in the mills, instead of being the romance of privileged joys she had once imagined, had been almost as empty as her own, without either unity or direction. Her perception was none the less keen because definite terms were wanting for its expression. The idea of him that first had captivated her was that of an energized and focussed character controlling with a sure hand the fortunes of a great organization; of a power in the city and state, of a being who, in his leisure moments, dwelt in a delectable realm from which she was excluded. She was still acutely conscious of his force, but what she now felt was its lack of direction—save for the portion that drove the Chippering Mills. The rest of it, like the river, flowed away on the line of least resistance to the sea.

No experience is emotionally constant, and their closeness wasn’t entirely defined by this conflict either. There were times when Ditmar's passion faded, and they formed a bond, both at work and outside of it; he revealed things about himself to Janet, sharing those small moments she found most enlightening. Gradually, she was able to develop a clearer and more accurate view of him. For instance, she started to see that his life outside the mills, rather than being the exciting life of privilege she had once thought, was nearly as empty as her own, lacking both focus and purpose. Her understanding was sharp even if she struggled to articulate it. Initially, she found him captivating as a driven and focused individual who confidently managed a large organization; he was a powerful figure in the city and state, someone who spent his free time in a wonderful realm she felt excluded from. She remained acutely aware of his strength, but now she sensed its aimlessness—except for the part that propelled the Chippering Mills. The rest of his energy flowed away effortlessly like a river heading toward the sea.

As was quite natural, this gradual discovery of what he was—or of what he wasn't—this truer estimate, this partial disillusionment, merely served to deepen and intensify the feeling he had aroused in her; to heighten, likewise, the sense of her own value by confirming a belief in her possession of certain qualities, of a kind of fibre he needed in a helpmate. She dwelt with a woman's fascination upon the prospect of exercising a creative influence—even while she acknowledged the fearful possibility of his power in unguarded moments to overwhelm and destroy her. Here was another incentive to resist the gusts of his passion. She could guide and develop him by helping and improving herself. Hope and ambition throbbed within her, she felt a contempt for his wife, for the women who had been her predecessors. He had not spoken of these, save once or twice by implication, but with what may seem a surprising leniency she regarded them as consequences of a life lacking in content. If only she could keep her head, she might supply that content, and bring him happiness! The thought of his children troubled her most, but she was quick to perceive that he got nothing from them; and even though it were partly his own fault, she was inclined to lay the heavier blame on the woman who had been their mother. The triviality, the emptiness of his existence outside of the walls of the mill made her heart beat with pure pity. For she could understand it.

As was quite natural, this gradual realization of who he was—or wasn’t—this more accurate view, this partial disillusionment, only served to deepen and intensify the feelings he had stirred in her; it also heightened her sense of self-worth by confirming her belief in having certain qualities, a kind of strength he needed in a partner. She found herself captivated by the idea of having a creative influence—even while acknowledging the scary possibility of his ability to overwhelm and destroy her in unguarded moments. This was yet another reason to resist the storms of his passion. She could guide and develop him by working on herself and improving. Hope and ambition pulsed within her, and she felt disdain for his wife and the women who came before her. He hadn’t said much about them, only hinted at it once or twice, but surprisingly, she viewed them with a kind of leniency, seeing them as products of a life lacking substance. If she could just stay composed, she might provide that substance and bring him happiness! The thought of his children troubled her the most, but she quickly noticed that he received nothing from them; and even if it was partly his fault, she felt more inclined to blame the woman who had been their mother. The triviality, the emptiness of his life outside the mill made her heart ache with genuine pity. She could understand it.

One of the many, and often humorous, incidents that served to bring about this realization of a former aimlessness happened on their second Sunday excursion. This time he had not chosen the Kingsbury Tavern, but another automobilists' haunt, an enlightening indication of established habits involving a wide choice of resorts. While he was paying for luncheon and chatting with the proprietor, Ditmar snatched from the change he had flung down on the counter a five dollar gold coin.

One of the many, and often funny, moments that helped them realize their previous aimlessness happened during their second Sunday trip. This time, he didn't pick the Kingsbury Tavern, but another popular spot for drivers, which was a clear sign of their established routines that included a wide range of places to go. While he was paying for lunch and chatting with the owner, Ditmar quickly grabbed a five dollar gold coin from the change he had tossed down on the counter.

“Now how in thunder did that get into my right-hand pocket? I always keep it in my vest,” he exclaimed; and the matter continued to disturb him after they were in the automobile. “It's my lucky piece. I guess I was so excited at the prospect of seeing you when I dressed this morning I put it into my change. Just see what you do to me!”

“Now how the heck did that get into my right-hand pocket? I always keep it in my vest,” he exclaimed, and the thought kept bothering him even after they got into the car. “It's my lucky charm. I guess I was so excited about seeing you when I got dressed this morning that I put it in with my change. Just look at what you do to me!”

“Does it bring you luck?” she inquired smilingly.

“Does it bring you luck?” she asked with a smile.

“How about you! I call you the biggest piece of luck I ever had.”

“How about you! I call you the luckiest thing that ever happened to me.”

“You'd better not be too sure,” she warned him.

“You might want to be careful about being too sure,” she warned him.

“Oh, I'm not worrying. I has that piece in my pocket the day I went down to see old Stephen Chippering, when he made me agent, and I've kept it ever since. And I'll tell you a funny thing—it's enough to make any man believe in luck. Do you remember that day last summer I was tinkering with the car by the canal and you came along?”

“Oh, I’m not worried. I had that piece in my pocket the day I went to see old Stephen Chippering when he made me the agent, and I’ve kept it ever since. And I’ll tell you something funny—it’s enough to make any man believe in luck. Do you remember that day last summer when I was working on the car by the canal and you came along?”

“The day you pretended to be tinkering,” she corrected him.

“The day you pretended to be messing around,” she corrected him.

He laughed. “So you were on to me?” he said. “You're a foxy one!”

He laughed. “So you figured me out?” he said. “You're pretty clever!”

“Anyone could see you were only pretending. It made me angry, when I thought of it afterwards.”

“Anyone could tell you were just faking it. It made me really angry when I thought about it later.”

“I just had to do it—I wanted to talk to you. But listen to what I'm going to tell you! It's a miracle, all right,—happening just at that time—that very morning. I was coming back to Boston from New York on the midnight, and when the train ran into Back Bay and I was putting on my trousers the piece rolled out among the bed clothes. I didn't know I'd lost it until I sat down in the Parker House to eat my breakfast, and I suddenly felt in my pocket. It made me sick to think it was gone. Well, I started to telephone the Pullman office, and then I made up my mind I'd take a taxi and go down to the South Station myself, and just as I got out of the cab there was the nigger porter, all dressed up in his glad rags, coming out of the station! I knew him, I'd been on his car lots of times. 'Say, George,' I said, 'I didn't forget you this morning, did I?'

“I just had to do it—I wanted to talk to you. But listen to what I'm going to tell you! It's a miracle, alright,—happening just at that time—that very morning. I was coming back to Boston from New York on the midnight train, and when it pulled into Back Bay and I was putting on my pants, the piece rolled out among the bedclothes. I didn’t realize I’d lost it until I sat down at the Parker House to eat my breakfast and suddenly felt in my pocket. It made me sick to think it was gone. Well, I started to call the Pullman office, and then I decided I’d take a taxi and go down to South Station myself, and just as I got out of the cab, there was the porter, all dressed up in his nice clothes, coming out of the station! I knew him; I’d been on his car lots of times. 'Hey, George,' I said, 'I didn’t forget you this morning, did I?'”

“'No, suh,' said George, 'you done give me a quarter.'

“'No, sir,' said George, 'you gave me a quarter.'”

“'I guess you're mistaken, George,' says I, and I fished out a ten dollar bill. You ought to have seen that nigger's eyes.”

“'I think you’re wrong, George,' I said, and I pulled out a ten-dollar bill. You should have seen that guy's eyes.”

“'What's this for, Mister Ditmar?' says he.

“'What’s this for, Mr. Ditmar?' he asks.”

“'For that lucky gold piece you found in lower seven,' I told him. 'We'll trade.'

“'For that lucky gold coin you found in lower seven,' I said to him. 'Let's make a deal.'

“'Was you in lower seven?—so you was!' says George. Well, he had it all right—you bet he had it. Now wasn't that queer? The very day you and I began to know each other!”

“'Were you in lower seven?—so you were!' says George. Well, he had it all right—you bet he did. Now wasn't that strange? The very day you and I started to get to know each other!”

“Wonderful!” Janet agreed. “Why don't you put it on your watch chain?”

“Awesome!” Janet agreed. “Why don’t you add it to your watch chain?”

“Well, I've thought of that,” he replied, with the air of having considered all sides of the matter. “But I've got that charm of the secret order I belong to—that's on my chain. I guess I'll keep it in my vest pocket.”

“Well, I've thought about that,” he replied, confidently suggesting he had considered everything. “But I've got the charm from the secret order I'm part of—that's on my chain. I think I’ll keep it in my pocket.”

“I didn't know you were so superstitious,” she mocked.

"I didn't know you were so superstitious," she teased.

“Pretty nearly everybody's superstitious,” he declared. And she thought of Lise.

“Almost everyone is superstitious,” he said. And she thought of Lise.

“I'm not. I believe if things are going to happen well, they're going to happen. Nothing can prevent it.”

“I'm not. I believe that if good things are meant to happen, they will happen. Nothing can stop that.”

“By thunder” he exclaimed, struck by her remark. “You are like that You're different from any person I ever knew....”

“By thunder,” he exclaimed, taken aback by her comment. “You’re like that. You’re different from anyone I’ve ever known...”

From such anecdotes she pieced together her new Ditmar. He spoke of a large world she had never seen, of New York and Washington and Chicago, where he intended to take her. In the future he would never travel alone. And he told her of his having been a delegate to the last National Republican Convention, explaining what a delegate was. He gloried in her innocence, and it was pleasant to dazzle her with impressions of his cosmopolitanism. In this, perhaps, he was not quite so successful as he imagined, but her eyes shone. She had never even been in a sleeping car! For her delectation he launched into an enthusiastic description of these vehicles, of palatial compartment cars, of limited, transcontinental trains, where one had a stenographer and a barber at one's disposal.

From these stories, she pieced together her new Ditmar. He talked about a big world she had never seen, about New York, Washington, and Chicago, the places he planned to take her. In the future, he promised he would never travel alone. He shared that he had been a delegate to the last National Republican Convention, explaining what that meant. He took pride in her innocence and enjoyed impressing her with his worldly experiences. In this, maybe he wasn't as successful as he thought, but her eyes sparkled. She had never even been in a sleeping car! To entertain her, he enthusiastically described these cars, luxurious compartment trains, and limited, cross-country trains, where you had a personal stenographer and barber at your service.

“Neither of them would do me any good,” she complained.

“Neither of them would be any help to me,” she complained.

“You could go to the manicure,” he said.

“You could get a manicure,” he said.

There had been in Ditmar's life certain events which, in his anecdotal moods, were magnified into matters of climacteric importance; high, festal occasions on which it was sweet to reminisce, such as his visit as Delegate at Large to that Chicago Convention. He had travelled on a special train stocked with cigars and White Seal champagne, in the company of senators and congressmen and ex-governors, state treasurers, collectors of the port, mill owners, and bankers to whom he referred, as the French say, in terms of their “little” names. He dwelt on the magnificence of the huge hotel set on the borders of a lake like an inland sea, and related such portions of the festivities incidental to “the seeing of Chicago” as would bear repetition. No women belonged to this realm; no women, at least, who were to be regarded as persons. Ditmar did not mention them, but no doubt they existed, along with the cigars and the White Seal champagne, contributing to the amenities. And the excursion, to Janet, took on the complexion of a sort of glorified picnic in the course of which, incidentally, a President of the United States had been chosen. In her innocence she had believed the voters to perform this function. Ditmar laughed.

There were certain events in Ditmar's life that, during his storytelling moments, he exaggerated into major milestones; high, celebratory occasions that were nice to remember, like his role as Delegate at Large at that Chicago Convention. He traveled on a special train filled with cigars and White Seal champagne, alongside senators, congressmen, former governors, state treasurers, port collectors, mill owners, and bankers, whom he referred to, as the French say, by their “little” names. He reminisced about the grandeur of the massive hotel located by a lake that felt like an inland sea and shared some stories about the festivities associated with “seeing Chicago” that were worth telling again. Women were not part of this world; at least, not women who were recognized as individuals. Ditmar didn’t mention them, but they certainly existed, along with the cigars and White Seal champagne, adding to the overall enjoyment. To Janet, the trip seemed like a sort of elevated picnic during which, incidentally, a President of the United States had been chosen. In her innocence, she had thought that the voters carried out this task. Ditmar laughed.

“Do you suppose we're going to let the mob run this country?” he inquired. “Once in a while we can't get away with it as we'd like, we have to take the best we can.”

“Do you think we're going to let the mob take over this country?” he asked. “Sometimes we can't do things our way, so we have to make the best of what we have.”

Thus was brought home to her more and more clearly that what men strove and fought for were the joys of prominence, privilege, and power. Everywhere, in the great world, they demanded and received consideration. It was Ditmar's boast that if nobody else could get a room in a crowded New York hotel, he could always obtain one. And she was fain to concede—she who had never known privilege—a certain intoxicating quality to this eminence. If you could get the power, and refused to take it, the more fool you! A topsy-turvy world, in which the stupid toiled day by day, week by week, exhausting their energies and craving joy, while others adroitly carried off the prize; and virtue had apparently as little to do with the matter as fair hair or a club foot. If Janet had ever read Darwin, she would have recognized in her lover a creature rather wonderfully adapted to his environment; and what puzzled her, perhaps, was the riddle that presents itself to many better informed than herself—the utter absence in this environment of the sign of any being who might be called God. Her perplexities—for she did have them—took the form of an instinctive sense of inadequacy, of persistently recurring though inarticulate convictions of the existence of elements not included in Ditmar's categories—of things that money could not buy; of things, too, alas! that poverty was as powerless to grasp. Stored within her, sometimes rising to the level of consciousness, was that experience at Silliston in the May weather when she had had a glimpse—just a glimpse! of a garden where strange and precious flowers were in bloom. On the other hand, this mysterious perception by her of things unseen and hitherto unguessed, of rays of delight in the spectrum of values to which his senses were unattuned, was for Ditmar the supreme essence of her fascination. At moments he was at once bewildered and inebriated by the rare delicacy of fabric of the woman whom he had somehow stumbled upon and possessed.

It became clearer to her that what men fought for were the joys of fame, privilege, and power. Everywhere in the world, they demanded and received attention. Ditmar bragged that if no one else could get a room in a crowded New York hotel, he could always secure one. And she had to admit—she who had never known privilege—that there was a certain intoxicating quality to that kind of status. If you could claim the power but chose not to, then you were a fool! It was a topsy-turvy world where the foolish labored daily, week after week, exhausting themselves in search of happiness, while others skillfully took home the rewards; and goodness seemed to have as little to do with it as having blonde hair or being disabled. If Janet had ever read Darwin, she would have seen in her lover a being remarkably suited to his surroundings; what puzzled her, perhaps, was the mystery that perplexes many who know more than she does—the complete absence in this environment of any sign of a being who might be called God. Her uncertainties—because she did have them—manifested as a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy, a recurring but unclear belief in elements beyond Ditmar's understanding—things that money couldn't buy; and sadly, things that poverty also couldn't reach. Deep inside her, sometimes surfacing into her awareness, was the memory of that time at Silliston in May when she had caught just a glimpse of a garden where strange and precious flowers were blooming. On the flip side, this mysterious ability of hers to perceive the unseen and previously unimagined, the flashes of joy in a spectrum of values to which his senses were unresponsive, was, for Ditmar, the essence of her allure. At times, he felt both bewildered and intoxicated by the rare delicacy of the woman he had somehow found and claimed.

Then there were the hours when they worked together in the office. Here she beheld Ditmar at his best. It cannot be said that his infatuation for her was ever absent from his consciousness: he knew she was there beside him, he betrayed it continually. But here she was in the presence of what had been and what remained his ideal, the Chippering Mill; here he acquired unity. All his energies were bent toward the successful execution of the Bradlaugh order, which had to be completed on the first of February. And as day after day went by her realization of the magnitude of the task he had undertaken became keener. Excitement was in the air. Ditmar seemed somehow to have managed to infuse not only Orcutt, the superintendent, but the foremen and second hands and even the workers with a common spirit of pride and loyalty, of interest, of determination to carry off this matter triumphantly. The mill seemed fairly to hum with effort. Janet's increasing knowledge of its organization and processes only served to heighten her admiration for the confidence Ditmar had shown from the beginning. It was superb. And now, as the probability of the successful execution of the task tended more and more toward certainty, he sometimes gave vent to his boyish, exuberant spirits.

Then there were the hours when they worked together in the office. Here, she saw Ditmar at his best. It couldn’t be said that his feelings for her were ever gone from his mind: he knew she was there next to him, and it showed all the time. But in this place, surrounded by what had been and what still was his ideal, the Chippering Mill, he found his focus. All his energy was dedicated to successfully finishing the Bradlaugh order, which needed to be done by February 1st. As days passed, she became increasingly aware of how big a task he had taken on. There was excitement in the air. Ditmar somehow managed to inspire not just Orcutt, the superintendent, but also the foremen, second hands, and even the workers with a shared sense of pride and loyalty, of interest, and a determination to see this through triumphantly. The mill buzzed with effort. Janet's growing understanding of its organization and processes only deepened her admiration for the confidence Ditmar had displayed from the start. It was impressive. And now, as the likelihood of successfully completing the task grew more certain, he sometimes expressed his youthful, exuberant spirit.

“I told Holster, I told all those croakers I'd do it, and by thunder I will do it, with three days' margin, too! I'll get the last shipment off on the twenty-eighth of January. Why, even George Chippering was afraid I couldn't handle it. If the old man was alive he wouldn't have had cold feet.” Then Ditmar added, half jocularly, half seriously, looking down on her as she sat with her note-book, waiting for him to go on with his dictation: “I guess you've had your share in it, too. You've been a wonder, the way you've caught on and taken things off my shoulders. If Orcutt died I believe you could step right into his shoes.”

“I told Holster, I told all those doctors I'd do it, and by god I will, with three days to spare! I'll get the last shipment out by January 28th. Even George Chippering thought I couldn’t handle it. If the old man were still around, he wouldn’t be second-guessing me.” Then Ditmar added, half joking, half serious, looking down at her as she sat with her notebook, waiting for him to continue his dictation: “I think you’ve played your part in this, too. You’ve been amazing, the way you’ve stepped up and taken some weight off my shoulders. If Orcutt were to pass away, I believe you could step right into his role.”

“I'm sure I could step into his shoes,” she replied. “Only I hope he won't die.”

“I'm sure I could take his place,” she replied. “I just hope he doesn't die.”

“I hope he won't, either,” said Ditmar. “And as for you—”

“I hope he doesn't, either,” said Ditmar. “And as for you—”

“Never mind me, now,” she said.

“Forget about me for now,” she said.

He bent over her.

He leaned over her.

“Janet, you're the greatest girl in the world.”

“Janet, you're the best girl in the world.”

Yes, she was happiest when she felt she was helping him, it gave her confidence that she could do more, lead him into paths beyond which they might explore together. She was useful. Sometimes, however, he seemed to her oversanguine; though he had worked hard, his success had come too easily, had been too uniform. His temper was quick, the prospect of opposition often made him overbearing, yet on occasions he listened with surprising patience to his subordinates when they ventured to differ from his opinions. At other times Janet had seen him overrule them ruthlessly; humiliate them. There were days when things went wrong, when there were delays, complications, more matters to attend to than usual. On one such day, after the dinner hour, Mr. Orcutt entered the office. His long, lean face wore a certain expression Janet had come to know, an expression that always irritated Ditmar—the conscientious superintendent having the unfortunate faculty of exaggerating annoyances by his very bearing. Ditmar stopped in the midst of dictating a peculiarly difficult letter, and looked up sharply.

Yes, she was happiest when she felt like she was helping him; it boosted her confidence that she could do more and lead him into opportunities they could explore together. She felt useful. However, sometimes he seemed overly optimistic to her; even though he worked hard, his success came too easily and consistently. His temper was quick, and the thought of opposition often made him overbearing, yet there were times he surprisingly listened with patience to his subordinates when they dared to disagree with him. At other times, Janet saw him overrule them ruthlessly and humiliate them. There were days when things went wrong, when there were delays, complications, and more issues to deal with than usual. On one such day, after dinner, Mr. Orcutt entered the office. His long, lean face had a familiar expression that Janet recognized, one that always annoyed Ditmar—the conscientious superintendent had the unfortunate ability to amplify annoyances just by his presence. Ditmar paused in the middle of dictating a particularly tough letter and looked up sharply.

“Well,” he asked, “what's the trouble now?”

“Well,” he asked, “what’s the problem now?”

Orcutt seemed incapable of reading storm signals. When anything happened, he had the air of declaring, “I told you so.”

Orcutt seemed unable to recognize warning signs. Whenever something occurred, he had the vibe of saying, “I told you so.”

“You may remember I spoke to you once or twice, Mr. Ditmar, of the talk over the fifty-four hour law that goes into effect in January.”

“You might recall that I mentioned to you once or twice, Mr. Ditmar, the discussion about the fifty-four hour law that will take effect in January.”

“Yes, what of it?” Ditmar cut in. “The notices have been posted, as the law requires.”

“Yeah, what about it?” Ditmar interrupted. “The notices have been posted, as required by law.”

“The hands have been grumbling, there are trouble makers among them. A delegation came to me this noon and wanted to know whether we intended to cut the pay to correspond to the shorter working hours.”

“The hands have been complaining; there are some troublemakers among them. A group came to me this afternoon and wanted to know if we planned to reduce their pay to match the shorter working hours.”

“Of course it's going to be cut,” said Ditmar. “What do they suppose? That we're going to pay 'em for work they don't do? The hands not paid by the piece are paid practically by the hour, not by the day. And there's got to be some limit to this thing. If these damned demagogues in the legislature keep on cutting down the hours of women and children every three years or so—and we can't run the mill without the women and children—we might as well shut down right now. Three years ago, when they made it fifty-six hours, we were fools to keep up the pay. I said so then, at the conference, but they wouldn't listen to me. They listened this time. Holster and one or two others croaked, but we shut 'em up. No, they won't get any more pay, not a damned cent.”

“Of course it's going to be cut,” Ditmar said. “What do they think? That we're going to pay them for work they don't do? The workers who aren’t paid per piece are paid pretty much by the hour, not by the day. There has to be some limit to this. If these damned demagogues in the legislature keep cutting the hours for women and children every few years—and we can't run the mill without them—we might as well shut down right now. Three years ago, when they set it to fifty-six hours, we were fools to keep up the pay. I said so back then at the conference, but they wouldn’t listen to me. They listened this time. Holster and a couple of others complained, but we shut them up. No, they won't get any more pay, not a single cent.”

Orcutt had listened patiently, lugubriously.

Orcutt had listened patiently, sadly.

“I told them that.”

"I told them that."

“What did they say?”

"What did they say?"

“They said they thought there'd be a strike.”

“They said they thought there would be a strike.”

“Pooh! Strike!” exclaimed Ditmar with contemptuous violence. “Do you believe that? You're always borrowing trouble, you are. They may have a strike at one mill, the Clarendon. I hope they do, I hope Holster gets it in the neck—he don't know how to run a mill anyway. We won't have any strike, our people understand when they're well off, they've got all the work they can do, they're sending fortunes back to the old country or piling them up in the banks. It's all bluff.”

“Pooh! Strike!” Ditmar exclaimed with scornful force. “Can you believe that? You’re always looking for trouble. They might have a strike at one mill, the Clarendon. I hope they do, and I hope Holster gets what’s coming to him—he doesn’t know how to run a mill anyway. We won’t have any strike; our people know when they have it good, they’ve got more work than they can handle, and they’re sending money back home or saving it in the banks. It’s all just talk.”

“There was a meeting of the English branch of the I. W. W. last night. A committee was appointed,” said Orcutt, who as usual took a gloomy satisfaction in the prospect of disaster.

“There was a meeting of the English branch of the I.W.W. last night. A committee was appointed,” said Orcutt, who, as usual, took a gloomy satisfaction in the prospect of disaster.

“The I. W. W.! My God, Orcutt, don't you know enough not to come in here wasting my time talking about the I. W. W.? Those anarchists haven't got any organization. Can't you get that through your head?”

“The I.W.W.! My God, Orcutt, don't you know better than to come in here wasting my time talking about the I.W.W.? Those anarchists have no organization. Can't you understand that?”

“All right,” replied Orcutt, and marched off. Janet felt rather sorry for him, though she had to admit that his manner was exasperating. But Ditmar's anger, instead of cooling, increased: it all seemed directed against the unfortunate superintendent.

“All right,” replied Orcutt, and walked away. Janet felt a bit sorry for him, though she had to admit that his attitude was annoying. But Ditmar's anger, instead of dying down, grew stronger: it all seemed aimed at the unfortunate superintendent.

“Would you believe that a man who's been in this mill twenty-five years could be such a fool?” he demanded. “The I. W. W.! Why not the Ku Klux? He must think I haven't anything to do but chin. I don't know why I keep him here, sometimes I think he'll drive me crazy.”

“Can you believe that a guy who's been at this mill for twenty-five years could be such an idiot?” he asked. “The I. W. W.! Why not the Ku Klux? He must think I have nothing better to do than to chat. I don't know why I still keep him around; sometimes I think he’s going to drive me insane.”

His eyes seemed to have grown small and red, as was always the case when his temper got the better of him. Janet did not reply, but sat with her pencil poised over her book.

His eyes looked small and red, which always happened when he lost his temper. Janet didn’t say anything, but sat there with her pencil ready over her book.

“Let's see, where was I?” he asked. “I can't finish that letter now. Go out and do the others.”

“Let me think, where was I?” he asked. “I can't wrap up that letter right now. Go out and take care of the others.”

Mundane experience, like a badly mixed cake, has a tendency to run in streaks, and on the day following the incident related above Janet's heart was heavy. Ditmar betrayed an increased shortness of temper and preoccupation; and the consciousness that her love had lent her a clairvoyant power to trace the source of his humours though these were often hidden from or unacknowledged by himself—was in this instance small consolation. She saw clearly enough that the apprehensions expressed by Mr. Orcutt, whom he had since denounced as an idiotic old woman, had made an impression, aroused in him the ever-abiding concern for the mill which was his life's passion and which had been but temporarily displaced by his infatuation with her. That other passion was paramount. What was she beside it? Would he hesitate for a moment to sacrifice her if it came to a choice between them? The tempestuousness of these thoughts, when they took possession of her, hinting as they did of possibilities in her nature hitherto unguessed and unrevealed, astonished and frightened her; she sought to thrust them away, to reassure herself that his concern for the successful delivery of the Bradlaugh order was natural. During the morning, in the intervals between interviews with the superintendents, he was self-absorbed, and she found herself inconsistently resenting the absence of those expressions of endearment—the glances and stolen caresses—for indulgence in which she had hitherto rebuked him: and though pride came to her rescue, fuel was added to her feeling by the fact that he did not seem to notice her coolness. Since he failed to appear after lunch, she knew he must be investigating the suspicions Orcutt had voiced; but at six o'clock, when he had not returned, she closed up her desk and left the office. An odour of cheap perfume pervading the corridor made her aware of the presence of Miss Lottie Myers.

Mundane experiences, like a poorly mixed cake, tend to come in waves, and on the day after the incident mentioned above, Janet's heart felt heavy. Ditmar was showing more irritability and distraction, and the fact that her love had given her an almost psychic ability to understand the reasons behind his moods—even when he didn't recognize them himself—was little comfort. She clearly saw that the concerns voiced by Mr. Orcutt, whom Ditmar had since called an idiotic old woman, had made an impression on him, stirring up his ongoing worry about the mill, which was his true passion and had only temporarily been overshadowed by his infatuation with her. That other passion took precedence. What was she in comparison? Would he hesitate to sacrifice her if it came down to a choice between the two? The storm of these thoughts, revealing possibilities about her nature that she had never imagined, both astonished and scared her; she tried to push them away, convincing herself that his focus on fulfilling the Bradlaugh order was reasonable. Throughout the morning, during breaks between meetings with the superintendents, he was lost in thought, and she found herself oddly resenting the absence of affectionate gestures—the glances and secret touches—that she had previously criticized him for. Although pride helped her cope, it only intensified her feelings since he didn't seem to notice her distant behavior. When he didn't show up after lunch, she figured he was looking into the suspicions Orcutt had raised; but by six o'clock, with still no sign of him, she closed her desk and left the office. The scent of cheap perfume in the corridor alerted her to the presence of Miss Lottie Myers.

“Oh, it's you!” said that young woman, looking up from the landing of the stairs. “I might have known it you never make a get-away until after six, do you?”

“Oh, it's you!” said the young woman, looking up from the landing of the stairs. “I should have guessed; you never leave before six, do you?”

“Oh, sometimes,” said Janet.

“Oh, sometimes,” Janet said.

“I stayed as a special favour to-night,” Miss Myers declared. “But I'm not so stuck on my job that I can't tear myself away from it.”

“I stayed as a special favor tonight,” Miss Myers said. “But I'm not so attached to my job that I can't pull myself away from it.”

“I don't suppose you are,” said Janet.

“I don't think you are,” said Janet.

For a moment Miss Myers looked as if she was about to be still more impudent, but her eye met Janet's, and wavered. They crossed the bridge in silence. “Well, ta-ta,” she said. “If you like it, it's up to you. Five o'clock for mine,”—and walked away, up the canal, swinging her hips defiantly. And Janet, gazing after her, grew hot with indignation and apprehension. Her relations with Ditmar were suspected, after all, made the subject of the kind of comment indulged in, sotto voce, by Lottie Myers and her friends at the luncheon hour. She felt a mad, primitive desire to run after the girl, to spring upon and strangle her and compel her to speak what was in her mind and then retract it; and the motor impulse, inhibited, caused a sensation of sickness, of unhappiness and degradation as she turned her steps slowly homeward. Was it a misinterpretation, after all—what Lottie Myers had implied and feared to say?...

For a moment, Miss Myers looked like she was about to be even more rude, but when her gaze met Janet's, she hesitated. They crossed the bridge in silence. “Well, see you later,” she said. “If you like it, that's on you. Five o'clock for me,”—and walked away, up the canal, swaying her hips defiantly. And Janet, watching her leave, felt a rush of anger and anxiety. The rumors about her relationship with Ditmar were, after all, the topic of gossip whispered by Lottie Myers and her friends during lunch. She felt a wild, primal urge to chase after the girl, to attack her, and force her to reveal what she was really thinking and then take it back; and the suppressed impulse made her feel sick, unhappy, and degraded as she slowly headed home. Was it all just a misunderstanding—what Lottie Myers had hinted at and was afraid to say?...

In Fillmore Street supper was over, and Lise, her face contorted, her body strained, was standing in front of the bureau “doing” her hair, her glance now seeking the mirror, now falling again to consult a model in one of those periodicals of froth and fashion that cause such numberless heart burnings in every quarter of our democracy, and which are filled with photographs of “prominent” persons at race meetings, horse shows, and resorts, and with actresses, dancers,—and mannequins. Janet's eyes fell on the open page to perceive that the coiffure her sister so painfully imitated was worn by a young woman with an insolent, vapid face and hard eyes, whose knees were crossed, revealing considerably more than an ankle. The picture was labelled, “A dance at Palm Beach—A flashlight of Mrs. 'Trudy' Gascoigne-Schell,”—one of those mysterious, hybrid names which, in connection with the thoughts of New York and the visible rakish image of the lady herself, cause involuntary shudders down the spine of the reflecting American provincial. Some such responsive quiver, akin to disgust, Janet herself experienced.

On Fillmore Street, dinner was over, and Lise, her face twisted and her body tense, was standing in front of the dresser “doing” her hair, her gaze darting between the mirror and a fashion magazine filled with fluff that causes countless heartbreaks across our society. The pages featured photos of “prominent” people at horse races, shows, and vacation spots, along with images of actresses, dancers, and models. Janet's eyes landed on an open page and she noticed that the hairstyle her sister was trying to replicate belonged to a young woman with a smug, empty face and cold eyes, her legs crossed, showing much more than just an ankle. The image was captioned, “A dance at Palm Beach—A snapshot of Mrs. 'Trudy' Gascoigne-Schell”—one of those mysterious, mixed-up names that, when associated with the thoughts of New York and the bold image of the lady herself, send a shiver down the spine of any reflective person from the provinces. Janet felt a similar instinctual shudder, close to disgust.

“It's the very last scream,” Lise was saying. “And say, if I owned a ball dress like that I'd be somebody's Lulu all right! Can I have the pleasure of the next maxixe, Miss Bumpus?” With deft and rapid fingers she lead parted her hair far on the right side and pulled it down over the left eyebrow, twisted it over her ear and tightly around her head, inserting here and there a hairpin, seizing the hand mirror with the cracked back, and holding it up behind her. Finally, when the operation was finished to her satisfaction she exclaimed, evidently to the paragon in the picture, “I get you!” Whereupon, from the wardrobe, she produced a hat. “You sure had my number when you guessed the feathers on that other would get draggled,” she observed in high good humour, generously ignoring their former unpleasantness on the subject. When she had pinned it on she bent mockingly over her sister, who sat on the bed. “How d'you like my new toque? Peekaboo! That's the way the guys rubberneck to see if you're good lookin'.”

“It's the very last scream,” Lise was saying. “And seriously, if I had a ball gown like that, I’d definitely be someone’s Lulu! Can I have the pleasure of the next maxixe, Miss Bumpus?” With quick and skillful fingers, she parted her hair far to the right and let it fall over her left eyebrow, twisted it over her ear and wrapped it tightly around her head, sticking in a few hairpins, grabbing a hand mirror with a cracked back and holding it up behind her. Finally, when she finished and was happy with her look, she exclaimed, clearly to the beauty in the picture, “I get you!” Then, from the wardrobe, she pulled out a hat. “You totally knew I’d mess up the feathers on that other one,” she said cheerfully, generously overlooking their previous argument about it. Once she pinned it on, she leaned playfully over her sister, who was sitting on the bed. “How do you like my new toque? Peekaboo! That’s how the guys check to see if you’re good-looking.”

Lise was exalted, feverish, apparently possessed by some high secret; her eyes shone, and when she crossed the room she whistled bars of ragtime and executed mincing steps of the maxixe. Fumbling in the upper drawer for a pair of white gloves (also new), she knocked off the corner of the bureau her velvet bag; it opened as it struck the floor, and out of it rolled a lilac vanity case and a yellow coin. Casting a suspicious, lightning glance at Janet, she snatched up the vanity case and covered the coin with her foot.

Lise was ecstatic, almost feverish, seeming to be consumed by some exciting secret; her eyes sparkled, and as she moved across the room, she whistled snippets of ragtime and did dainty steps of the maxixe. While searching in the top drawer for a pair of new white gloves, she accidentally knocked off her velvet bag from the corner of the dresser; it opened when it hit the floor, and a lilac vanity case and a yellow coin rolled out. She shot a quick, suspicious glance at Janet, quickly grabbed the vanity case, and covered the coin with her foot.

“Lock the doors!” she cried, with an hysteric giggle. Then removing her foot she picked up the coin surreptitiously. To her amazement her sister made no comment, did not seem to have taken in the significance of the episode. Lise had expected a tempest of indignant, searching questions, a “third degree,” as she would have put it. She snapped the bag together, drew on her gloves, and, when she was ready to leave, with characteristic audacity crossed the room, taking her sister's face between her hands and kissing her.

“Lock the doors!” she shouted, laughing nervously. Then, shifting her foot, she secretly picked up the coin. To her surprise, her sister said nothing and didn’t seem to grasp what had happened. Lise had anticipated a flurry of angry, probing questions, a “third degree,” as she would have called it. She quickly closed the bag, put on her gloves, and when she was ready to leave, boldly walked across the room, took her sister's face in her hands, and kissed her.

“Tell me your troubles, sweetheart!” she said—and did not wait to hear them.

“Share your troubles with me, dear!” she said—and didn’t wait to hear them.

Janet was incapable of speech—nor could she have brought herself to ask Lise whether or not the money had been earned at the Bagatelle, and remained miraculously unspent. It was possible, but highly incredible. And then, the vanity case and the new hat were to be accounted for! The sight of the gold piece, indeed, had suddenly revived in Janet the queer feeling of faintness, almost of nausea she had experienced after parting with Lottie Myers. And by some untoward association she was reminded of a conversation she had had with Ditmar on the Saturday afternoon following their first Sunday excursion, when, on opening her pay envelope, she had found twenty dollars.

Janet couldn't speak—she couldn't even bring herself to ask Lise whether the money had come from the Bagatelle and somehow hadn’t been spent. It was possible, but hard to believe. Plus, she had to account for the vanity case and the new hat! The sight of the gold coin suddenly brought back an odd feeling of faintness, almost nausea, she had felt after saying goodbye to Lottie Myers. Through some unfortunate association, she remembered a conversation she had with Ditmar on the Saturday afternoon after their first Sunday outing, when she opened her pay envelope and found twenty dollars.

“Are you sure I'm worth it?” she had demanded—and he had been quite sure. He had added that she was worth more, much more, but that he could not give her as yet, without the risk of comment, a sum commensurate with the value of her services.... But now she asked herself again, was she worth it? or was it merely—part of her price? Going to the wardrobe and opening a drawer at the bottom she searched among her clothes until she discovered the piece of tissue paper in which she had wrapped the rose rescued from the cluster he had given her. The petals were dry, yet they gave forth, still, a faint, reminiscent fragrance as she pressed them to her face. Janet wept....

“Are you sure I’m worth it?” she had asked—and he had been completely sure. He had said that she was worth more, much more, but that he couldn’t give her a payment that matched the value of her services without risking comments. But now she wondered again, was she worth it? Or was it just part of what she had to pay? Going to the wardrobe and opening a drawer at the bottom, she searched through her clothes until she found the tissue paper in which she had wrapped the rose she had saved from the bouquet he had given her. The petals were dry, yet they still released a faint, nostalgic fragrance as she pressed them to her face. Janet cried….

The following morning as she was kneeling in a corner of the room by the letter files, one of which she had placed on the floor, she recognized his step in the outer office, heard him pause to joke with young Caldwell, and needed not the visual proof—when after a moment he halted on the threshold—of the fact that his usual, buoyant spirits were restored. He held a cigar in his hand, and in his eyes was the eager look with which she had become familiar, which indeed she had learned to anticipate as they swept the room in search of her. And when they fell on her he closed the door and came forward impetuously. But her exclamation caused him to halt in bewilderment.

The next morning, as she knelt in a corner of the room by the letter files, one of which she had set on the floor, she recognized his footsteps in the outer office, heard him pause to joke with young Caldwell, and didn’t need to see him—especially when he stopped in the doorway—for proof that his usual, cheerful mood had returned. He held a cigar in his hand, and there was that eager look in his eyes that she had come to know well and had learned to expect as he scanned the room for her. When his gaze landed on her, he closed the door and rushed forward impulsively. But her surprised exclamation made him stop in confusion.

“Don't touch me!” she said.

“Don’t touch me!” she said.

And he stammered out, as he stood over her:—“What's the matter?”

And he stuttered out, as he stood over her:—“What's wrong?”

“Everything. You don't love me—I was a fool to believe you did.”

“Everything. You don’t love me—I was stupid to think you did.”

“Don't love you!” he repeated. “My God, what's the trouble now? What have I done?”

“Don't love you!” he repeated. “Oh my God, what's wrong now? What did I do?”

“Oh, it's nothing you've done, it's what you haven't done, it's what you can't do. You don't really care for me—all you care for is this mill—when anything happens here you don't know I'm alive.”

“Oh, it’s not about anything you’ve done; it’s about what you haven’t done, and what you can’t do. You don’t really care about me—all you care about is this mill—when something happens here, you don’t even realize I’m alive.”

He stared at her, and then an expression of comprehension, of intense desire grew in his eyes; and his laugh, as he flung his cigar out of the open window and bent down to seize her, was almost brutal. She fought him, she tried to hurt him, and suddenly, convulsively pressed herself to him.

He looked at her, and then a look of understanding and intense desire filled his eyes; his laugh, as he tossed his cigar out of the open window and leaned down to grab her, was almost savage. She struggled against him, trying to hurt him, and then suddenly pressed herself against him with urgency.

“You little tigress!” he said, as he held her. “You were jealous—were you—jealous of the mill?” And he laughed again. “I'd like to see you with something really to be jealous about. So you love me like that, do you?”

“You little tigress!” he said, as he held her. “You were jealous—were you—jealous of the mill?” And he laughed again. “I'd like to see you with something really to be jealous about. So you love me like that, do you?”

She could feel his heart beating against her.

She could feel his heart pounding against her.

“I won't be neglected,” she told him tensely. “I want all of you—if I can't have all of you, I don't want any. Do you understand?”

“I won't be ignored,” she told him tensely. “I want all of you—if I can't have all of you, I don't want any. Do you get that?”

“Do I understand? Well, I guess I do.”

“Do I get it? Well, I think I do.”

“You didn't yesterday,” she reproached him, somewhat dazed by the swiftness of her submission, and feeling still the traces of a lingering resentment. She had not intended to surrender. “You forgot all about me, you didn't know I was here, much less that I was hurt. Oh, I was hurt! And you—I can tell at once when anything's wrong with you—I know without your saying it.”

“You didn’t yesterday,” she said, a bit shocked by how quickly she gave in, still feeling some lingering resentment. She hadn’t meant to give up. “You completely forgot about me, didn’t even know I was here, let alone that I was hurt. Oh, I was hurt! And you—I can immediately tell when something’s wrong with you—I know it without you having to say a word.”

He was amazed, he might indeed have been troubled and even alarmed by this passion he had aroused had his own passion not been at the flood. And as he wiped away her tears with his handkerchief he could scarcely believe his senses that this was the woman whose resistance had demanded all his force to overcome. Indeed, although he recognized the symptoms she betrayed as feminine, as having been registered—though feebly compared to this! by incidents in his past, precisely his difficulty seemed to be in identifying this complex and galvanic being as a woman, not as something almost fearful in her significance, outside the bounds of experience....

He was amazed; he might actually have felt troubled and even alarmed by this passion he had awakened if his own feelings hadn't been so intense. As he wiped away her tears with his handkerchief, he could hardly believe his senses that this was the woman whose resistance had required all his strength to overcome. In fact, even though he recognized the signs she showed as feminine, and had experienced similar moments in the past—though not nearly as intense!—his real struggle was in seeing this complex and electrifying person as just a woman, rather than something almost daunting in her importance, beyond the limits of his experience...

Presently she ceased to tremble, and he drew her to the window. The day was as mild as autumn, the winter sun like honey in its mellowness; a soft haze blurred the outline of the upper bridge.

Presently, she stopped trembling, and he pulled her toward the window. The day was as mild as autumn, the winter sun like honey in its warmth; a soft haze blurred the outline of the upper bridge.

“Only two more days until Sunday,” he whispered, caressingly, exultantly....

“Just two more days until Sunday,” he whispered, tenderly, excitedly....





CHAPTER XII

It had been a strange year in Hampton, unfortunate for coal merchants, welcome to the poor. But Sunday lacked the transforming touch of sunshine. The weather was damp and cold as Janet set out from Fillmore Street. Ditmar, she knew, would be waiting for her, he counted on her, and she could not bear to disappoint him, to disappoint herself. And all the doubts and fears that from time to time had assailed her were banished by this impulse to go to him, to be with him. He loved her! The words, as she sat in the trolley car, ran in her head like the lilt of a song. What did the weather matter?

It had been a weird year in Hampton, bad for coal merchants but good for the poor. But Sunday didn't have the uplifting touch of sunshine. The weather was damp and cold as Janet headed out from Fillmore Street. Ditmar, she knew, would be waiting for her; he relied on her, and she couldn't stand the thought of letting him down, or herself. All the doubts and fears that had occasionally bothered her were pushed aside by her desire to be with him. He loved her! The words played in her mind like the melody of a song while she sat on the trolley. What did the weather matter?

When she alighted at the lonely cross-roads snow had already begun to fall. But she spied the automobile, with its top raised, some distance down the lane, and in a moment she was in it, beside him, wrapped in the coat she had now come to regard as her own. He buttoned down the curtains and took her in his arms.

When she got off at the lonely crossroads, snow had already started to fall. But she spotted the car, with its top up, a little way down the road, and in no time she was in it, next to him, wrapped in the coat she had come to see as her own. He buttoned the curtains down and pulled her into his arms.

“What shall we do to-day,” she asked, “if it snows?”

“What should we do today,” she asked, “if it snows?”

“Don't let that worry you, sweetheart,” he said. “I have the chains on, I can get through anything in this car.”

“Don't let that stress you out, sweetheart,” he said. “I have the chains on; I can get through anything in this car.”

He was in high, almost turbulent spirits as he turned the car and drove it out of the rutty lane into the state road. The snow grew thicker and thicker still, the world was blotted out by swiftly whirling, feathery flakes that melted on the windshield, and through the wet glass Janet caught distorted glimpses of black pines and cedars beside the highway.

He was in an upbeat, almost wild mood as he turned the car and drove it out of the bumpy lane onto the state road. The snow got thicker and thicker, the world disappearing behind quickly swirling, soft flakes that melted on the windshield, and through the wet glass, Janet caught distorted views of dark pines and cedars along the highway.

The ground was spread with fleece. Occasionally, and with startling suddenness, other automobiles shot like dark phantoms out of the whiteness, and like phantoms disappeared. Presently, through the veil, she recognized Silliston—a very different Silliston from that she had visited on the fragrant day in springtime, when the green on the common had been embroidered with dandelions, and the great elms whose bare branches were now fantastically traced against the flowing veil of white—heavy with leaf. Vignettes emerged—only to fade!—of the old-world houses whose quaint beauty had fascinated and moved her. And she found herself wondering what had become of the strange man she had mistaken for a carpenter. All that seemed to have taken place in a past life. She asked Ditmar where he was going.

The ground was covered in fleece. Occasionally, and with surprising suddenness, other cars shot out of the whiteness like dark shadows, and just as quickly vanished. Soon, through the fog, she recognized Silliston—a very different Silliston from the one she had visited on that fragrant spring day when the green in the park was dotted with dandelions, and the huge elms, whose bare branches were now dramatically outlined against the flowing white, were heavy with leaves. Images appeared—only to fade!—of the old-world houses whose charming beauty had captivated and moved her. She found herself wondering what had happened to the strange man she had thought was a carpenter. It all felt like it had happened in another life. She asked Ditmar where he was headed.

“Boston,” he told her. “There's no other place to go.”

“Boston,” he said to her. “There's nowhere else to go.”

“But you'll never get back if it goes on snowing like this.”

“But you'll never make it back if it keeps snowing like this.”

“Well, the trains are still running,” he assured her, with a quizzical smile. “How about it, little girl?” It was a term of endearment derived, undoubtedly, from a theatrical source, in which he sometimes indulged.

“Well, the trains are still running,” he reassured her, with a curious smile. “What do you say, kiddo?” It was a term of endearment that likely came from a theatrical source, which he sometimes enjoyed.

She did not answer. Surprisingly, to-day, she did not care. All she could think of, all she wanted was to go on and on beside him with the world shut out—on and on forever. She was his—what did it matter? They were on their way to Boston! She began, dreamily, to think about Boston, to try to restore it in her imagination to the exalted place it had held before she met Ditmar; to reconstruct it from vague memories of childhood when, in two of the family peregrinations, she had crossed it. Traces remained of emotionally-toned impressions acquired when she had walked about the city holding Edward's hand—of a long row of stately houses with forbidding fronts, set on a hillside, of a wide, tree-covered space where children were playing. And her childish verdict, persisting to-day, was one of inaccessibility, impenetrability, of jealously guarded wealth and beauty. Those houses, and the treasures she was convinced they must contain, were not for her! Some of the panes of glass in their windows were purple—she remembered a little thing like that, and asking her father the reason! He hadn't known. This purple quality had somehow steeped itself into her memory of Boston, and even now the colour stood for the word, impenetrable. That was extraordinary. Even now! Well, they were going to Boston; if Ditmar had said they were going to Bagdad it would have been quite as credible—and incredible. Wherever they were going, it was into the larger, larger life, and walls were to crumble before them, walls through which they would pass, even as they rent the white veil of the storm, into regions of beauty....

She didn't answer. Surprisingly, today, she didn't care. All she could think about, all she wanted, was to keep going beside him with the world shut out—on and on forever. She was his—what did it matter? They were on their way to Boston! She started to daydream about Boston, trying to bring it back in her mind to the wonderful place it had been before she met Ditmar; to recreate it from vague childhood memories when she had passed through it during two family trips. Remnants lingered of emotionally charged impressions from when she had walked around the city holding Edward's hand—of a long row of grand houses with intimidating fronts, set on a hillside, of a large, tree-filled area where children played. And her childhood opinion, still persisting today, was one of inaccessibility, impenetrability, and jealously protected wealth and beauty. Those houses, and the treasures she was sure they must hold, were not for her! Some of the glass panes in their windows were purple—she remembered something as small as that and asking her father why! He didn’t know. This purple hue had somehow soaked into her memory of Boston, and even now, the color represented the word, impenetrable. That was strange. Even now! Well, they were going to Boston; if Ditmar had said they were going to Baghdad it would have been just as believable—and unbelievable. Wherever they were headed, it was toward a bigger, broader life, and walls would crumble before them, walls they would pass through, just like they tore through the white veil of the storm, into areas of beauty....

And now the world seemed abandoned to them alone, so empty, so still were the white villages flitting by; so empty, so still the great parkway of the Fells stretching away and away like an enchanted forest under the snow, like the domain of some sleeping king. And the flakes melted silently into the black waters. And the wide avenue to which they came led to a sleeping palace! No, it was a city, Somerville, Ditmar told her, as they twisted in and out of streets, past stores, churches and fire-engine houses, breasted the heights, descended steeply on the far side into Cambridge, and crossed the long bridge over the Charles. And here at last was Boston—Beacon Street, the heart or funnel of it, as one chose. Ditmar, removing one of the side curtains that she might see, with just a hint in his voice of a reverence she was too excited to notice, pointed out the stern and respectable facades of the twin Chippering mansions standing side by side. Save for these shrines—for such in some sort they were to him—the Back Bay in his eyes was nothing more than a collection of houses inhabited by people whom money and social position made unassailable. But to-day he, too, was excited. Never had he been more keenly aware of her sensitiveness to experience; and he to whom it had not occurred to wonder at Boston wondered at her, who seemed able to summon forth a presiding, brooding spirit of the place from out of the snow. Deep in her eyes, though they sparkled, was the reflection of some mystic vision; her cheeks were flushed. And in her delight, vicariously his own, he rejoiced; in his trembling hope of more delight to come, which this mentorship would enhance,—despite the fast deepening snow he drove her up one side of Commonwealth Avenue and down the other, encircling the Common and the Public Garden; stopping at the top of Park Street that she might gaze up at the State House, whose golden dome, seen through the veil, was tinged with blue. Boston! Why not Russia? Janet was speechless for sheer lack of words to describe what she felt....

And now the world felt like it belonged to them alone, so empty and quiet were the white villages passing by; so empty, so quiet was the long parkway of the Fells stretching endlessly like an enchanted forest under the snow, like the territory of some sleeping king. And the snowflakes melted silently into the dark waters. The wide avenue they approached led to a sleeping palace! No, it was a city, Somerville, Ditmar told her, as they meandered through streets, past shops, churches, and fire stations, climbing up hills, then steeply descending into Cambridge, crossing the long bridge over the Charles River. And finally, there was Boston—Beacon Street, the core or funnel of it, depending on how you looked at it. Ditmar, pulling back one of the side curtains so she could see, with just a hint of awe in his voice that she was too excited to notice, pointed out the stern and respectable facades of the twin Chippering mansions standing side by side. Aside from these landmarks—for that’s what they were to him—the Back Bay, in his eyes, was just a bunch of houses occupied by people who were untouchable because of their wealth and social status. But today, he was excited too. He had never been more aware of her sensitivity to experiences; he, who hadn’t thought to wonder about Boston, now wondered about her, who seemed to summon a haunting spirit of the place from the snow. Deep in her eyes, even as they sparkled, was the reflection of some mystical vision; her cheeks were rosy. In her joy, which he shared vicariously, he rejoiced; in his anxious hope for more joy to come, which this mentorship would nurture—despite the increasingly heavy snow, he drove her up one side of Commonwealth Avenue and down the other, circling the Common and the Public Garden; stopping at the top of Park Street so she could gaze up at the State House, its golden dome, seen through the veil, tinged with blue. Boston! Why not Russia? Janet was at a loss for words to describe how she felt....

At length he brought the car to a halt opposite an imposing doorway in front of which a glass roof extended over the pavement, and Janet demanded where they were.

At last, he stopped the car in front of a grand doorway with a glass roof covering the sidewalk, and Janet asked where they were.

“Well, we've got to eat, haven't we?” Ditmar replied. She noticed that he was shivering.

“Well, we need to eat, right?” Ditmar replied. She saw that he was shivering.

“Are you cold?” she inquired with concern.

“Are you cold?” she asked worriedly.

“I guess I am, a little,” he replied. “I don't know why I should be, in a fur coat. But I'll be warm soon enough, now.”

“I guess I am, a little,” he said. “I don't know why I should be in a fur coat. But I'll be warm soon enough now.”

A man in blue livery hurried toward them across the sidewalk, helping them to alight. And Ditmar, after driving the car a few paces beyond the entrance, led her through the revolving doors into a long corridor, paved with marble and lighted by bulbs glowing from the ceiling, where benches were set against the wall, overspread by the leaves of potted plants set in the intervals between them.

A man in a blue uniform rushed towards them on the sidewalk, assisting them as they got out. Ditmar, after pulling the car a little further past the entrance, guided her through the revolving doors into a long hallway, which was covered in marble and illuminated by bulbs shining from the ceiling, where benches lined the walls, decorated with the leaves of potted plants placed in the spaces between them.

“Sit down a moment,” he said to her. “I must telephone to have somebody take that car, or it'll stay there the rest of the winter.”

“Sit down for a minute,” he said to her. “I need to call someone to come take that car, or it’ll be stuck there all winter.”

She sat down on one of the benches. The soft light, the warmth, the exotic odour of the plants, the well-dressed people who trod softly the strip of carpet set on the marble with the air of being at home—all contributed to an excitement, intense yet benumbing. She could not think. She didn't want to think—only to feel, to enjoy, to wring the utmost flavour of enchantment from these new surroundings; and her face wore the expression of one in a dream. Presently she saw Ditmar returning followed by a boy in a blue uniform.

She sat down on one of the benches. The soft light, the warmth, the exotic scent of the plants, and the well-dressed people walking softly on the carpet laid over the marble, all made her feel a mix of excitement that was both intense and numbing. She couldn’t think. She didn’t want to think—just to feel, to enjoy, to soak in every bit of magic from her new surroundings; her face reflected the look of someone lost in a dream. Soon, she noticed Ditmar coming back, followed by a boy in a blue uniform.

“All right,” he said. At the end of the corridor was an elevator in which they were shot to one of the upper floors; and the boy, inserting a key in a heavy mahogany door, revealed a sitting-room. Between its windows was a table covered with a long, white cloth reaching to the floor, on which, amidst the silverware and glass, was set a tall vase filled with dusky roses. Janet, drawing in a deep breath of their fragrance, glanced around the room. The hangings, the wall-paper, the carpet, the velvet upholstery of the mahogany chairs, of the wide lounge in the corner were of a deep and restful green; the marble mantelpiece, with its English coal grate, was copied—had she known it—from a mansion of the Georgian period. The hands of a delicate Georgian clock pointed to one. And in the large mirror behind the clock she beheld an image she supposed, dreamily, to be herself. The bell boy was taking off her coat, which he hung, with Ditmar's, on a rack in a corner.

“All right,” he said. At the end of the hallway was an elevator that took them to one of the upper floors; and the boy, inserting a key into a heavy mahogany door, opened it to reveal a sitting room. Between the windows was a table covered with a long, white cloth that reached the floor, on which, amidst the silverware and glassware, stood a tall vase filled with dark roses. Janet, taking a deep breath of their fragrance, looked around the room. The curtains, wallpaper, carpet, and the velvet upholstery of the mahogany chairs and the wide couch in the corner were all in a deep, soothing green; the marble mantelpiece, with its English coal grate, was a replica—had she known—of one from a Georgian mansion. The hands of a delicate Georgian clock pointed to one o'clock. And in the large mirror behind the clock, she saw a reflection she dreamily assumed was herself. The bellboy was taking off her coat and hanging it, along with Ditmar's, on a rack in the corner.

“Shall I light the fire, sir?” he asked.

“Should I light the fire, sir?” he asked.

“Sure,” said Ditmar. “And tell them to hurry up with lunch.”

“Sure,” Ditmar said. “And tell them to speed up lunch.”

The boy withdrew, closing the door silently behind him.

The boy stepped back and quietly closed the door behind him.

“We're going to have lunch here!” Janet exclaimed.

“We're having lunch here!” Janet exclaimed.

“Why not? I thought it would be nicer than a public dining-room, and when I got up this morning and saw what the weather was I telephoned.” He placed two chairs before the fire, which had begun to blaze. “Isn't it cosy?” he said, taking her hands and pulling her toward him. His own hands trembled, the tips of his fingers were cold.

“Why not? I thought it would be nicer than a public dining room, and when I got up this morning and saw what the weather was like, I called.” He set two chairs in front of the fire, which had started to blaze. “Isn't it cozy?” he asked, taking her hands and pulling her closer. His hands shook, and the tips of his fingers were cold.

“You are cold!” she said.

"You’re cold!" she said.

“Not now—not now,” he replied. The queer vibrations were in his voice that she had heard before. “Sweetheart! This is the best yet, isn't it? And after that trip in the storm!”

“Not right now—not right now,” he replied. There was a strange tone in his voice that she had heard before. “Sweetheart! This is the best one yet, isn't it? And after that trip in the storm!”

“It's beautiful!” she murmured, gently drawing away from him and looking around her once more. “I never was in a room like this.”

“It's gorgeous!” she whispered, pulling away from him gently and glancing around the room again. “I've never been in a place like this.”

“Well, you'll be in plenty more of them,” he exulted. “Sit down beside the fire, and get warm yourself.”

“Well, you'll be in a lot more of them,” he said excitedly. “Sit down by the fire and warm up.”

She obeyed, and he took the chair at her side, his eyes on her face. As usual, she was beyond him; and despite her exclamations of surprise, of appreciation and pleasure she maintained the outward poise, the inscrutability that summed up for him her uniqueness in the world of woman. She sat as easily upright in the delicate Chippendale chair as though she had been born to it. He made wild surmises as to what she might be thinking. Was she, as she seemed, taking all this as a matter of course? She imposed on him an impelling necessity to speak, to say anything—it did not matter what—and he began to dwell on the excellences of the hotel. She did not appear to hear him, her eyes lingering on the room, until presently she asked:—“What's the name of this hotel?”

She agreed, and he took the chair next to her, his eyes on her face. As usual, she was elusive; and despite her expressions of surprise, appreciation, and pleasure, she maintained her composure, the mystery that defined her uniqueness in the world of women. She sat upright in the delicate Chippendale chair as if she had been born to it. He wildly speculated about what she might be thinking. Was she, as she appeared, taking all this in stride? She created an overwhelming urge in him to speak, to say anything—it didn’t matter what—and he started to talk about the perks of the hotel. She didn’t seem to hear him, her eyes wandering around the room, until she eventually asked, “What’s the name of this hotel?”

He told her.

He told her.

“I thought they only allowed married people to come, like this, in a private room.”

“I thought they only let married people come here, like this, in a private room.”

“Oh!” he began—and the sudden perception that she had made this statement impartially added to his perplexity. “Well,” he was able to answer, “we're as good as married, aren't we, Janet?” He leaned toward her, he put his hand on hers. “The manager here is an old friend of mine. He knows we're as good as married.”

“Oh!” he started—and the realization that she had said this without bias only added to his confusion. “Well,” he managed to reply, “we're basically married, right, Janet?” He leaned in closer, placing his hand over hers. “The manager here is an old friend of mine. He knows we're basically married.”

“Another old friend!” she queried. And the touch of humour, in spite of his taut nerves, delighted him.

“Another old friend!” she asked. And the hint of humor, despite his tense nerves, brought him delight.

“Yes, yes,” he laughed, rather uproariously. “I've got 'em everywhere, as thick as landmarks.”

“Yes, yes,” he laughed, quite loudly. “I've got them everywhere, as common as landmarks.”

“You seem to,” she said.

"You look like you do," she said.

“I hope you're hungry,” he said.

“I hope you're hungry,” he said.

“Not very,” she replied. “It's all so strange—this day, Claude. It's like a fairy story, coming here to Boston in the snow, and this place, and—and being with you.”

“Not really,” she said. “It's all so weird—this day, Claude. It's like a fairy tale, coming to Boston in the snow, and this place, and—and being with you.”

“You still love me?” he cried, getting up.

“You still love me?” he shouted, standing up.

“You must know that I do,” she answered simply, raising her face to his. And he stood gazing down into it, with an odd expression she had never seen before.... “What's the matter?” she asked.

“You need to know that I do,” she replied straightforwardly, lifting her face to his. And he stood looking down at her, with a strange expression she had never seen before.... “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing—nothing,” he assured her, but continued to look at her. “You're so—so wonderful,” he whispered, “I just can't believe it.”

“Nothing—nothing,” he assured her, but kept looking at her. “You're so—so amazing,” he whispered, “I just can’t believe it.”

“And if it's hard for you,” she answered, “think what it must be for me!” And she smiled up at him.

“And if it's hard for you,” she replied, “think about how tough it must be for me!” And she smiled up at him.

Ditmar had known a moment of awe.... Suddenly he took her face between his hands and pressed his rough cheek against it, blindly. His hands trembled, his body was shaken, as by a spasm.

Ditmar had experienced a moment of wonder... Suddenly, he cupped her face in his hands and pressed his rough cheek against hers, without thinking. His hands shook, and his body trembled, as if in a spasm.

“Why, you're still cold, Claude!” she cried anxiously.

“Why are you still cold, Claude!” she said anxiously.

And he stammered out: “I'm not—it's you—it's having you!”

And he stammered out: “I'm not—it's you—it's having you!”

Before she could reply to this strange exclamation, to which, nevertheless, some fire in her leaped in response, there came a knock at the door, and he drew away from her as he answered it. Two waiters entered obsequiously, one bearing a serving table, the other holding above his head a large tray containing covered dishes and glasses.

Before she could respond to this strange outburst, to which, however, some spark in her reacted, there was a knock at the door, and he stepped back from her as he answered it. Two waiters came in deferentially, one carrying a serving table, the other holding a large tray with covered dishes and glasses above his head.

“I could do with a cocktail!” Ditmar exclaimed, and the waiter smiled as he served them. “Here's how!” he said, giving her a glass containing a yellow liquid.

“I could really go for a cocktail!” Ditmar exclaimed, and the waiter smiled as he served them. “Here’s how!” he said, handing her a glass filled with a yellow drink.

She tasted it, made a grimace, and set it down hastily.

She tasted it, made a face, and put it down quickly.

“What's the trouble?” he asked, laughing, as she hurried to the table and took a drink of water.

“What's the issue?” he asked, laughing, as she rushed to the table and took a drink of water.

“It's horrid!” she cried.

“It’s awful!” she cried.

“Oh, you'll get over that idea,” he told her. “You'll be crazy about 'em.”

“Oh, you’ll get over that idea,” he said to her. “You’ll end up loving them.”

“I never want to taste another,” she declared.

“I never want to taste another,” she said.

He laughed again. He had taken his at a swallow, but almost nullifying its effect was this confirmation—if indeed he had needed it—of the extent of her inexperience. She was, in truth, untouched by the world—the world in which he had lived. He pulled out her chair for her and she sat down, confronted by a series of knives, forks, and spoons on either side of a plate of oysters. Oysters served in this fashion, needless to say, had never formed part of the menu in Fillmore Street, or in any Hampton restaurant where she had lunched. But she saw that Ditmar had chosen a little fork with three prongs, and she followed his example.

He laughed again. He had swallowed his drink in one go, but almost negating its effect was this confirmation—if he even needed one—of how inexperienced she was. She was, in fact, sheltered from the world—the world he had experienced. He pulled out her chair for her, and she sat down, facing a series of knives, forks, and spoons on either side of a plate of oysters. Oysters served like this, of course, had never been on the menu on Fillmore Street, or in any Hampton restaurant where she had eaten lunch. But she noticed that Ditmar had picked a small fork with three prongs, and she followed his lead.

“You mustn't tell me you don't like Cotuits!” he exclaimed.

“You can’t be serious that you don’t like Cotuits!” he exclaimed.

She touched one, delicately, with her fork.

She gently touched one with her fork.

“They're alive!” she exclaimed, though the custom of consuming them thus was by no means unknown to her. Lise had often boasted of a taste for oysters on the shell, though really preferring them smothered with red catsup in a “cocktail.”

“They're alive!” she exclaimed, even though she was no stranger to the practice of eating them this way. Lise had often claimed to enjoy oysters on the half shell, although she actually preferred them drenched in red ketchup in a “cocktail.”

“They're alive, but they don't know it. They won't eat you,” Ditmar replied gleefully. “Squeeze a little lemon on one.” Another sort of woman, he reflected, would have feigned a familiarity with the dish.

“They're alive, but they don't realize it. They won’t eat you,” Ditmar replied happily. “Just squeeze a little lemon on one.” He thought about how a different kind of woman would have pretended to know all about the dish.

She obeyed him, put one in her mouth, gave a little shiver, and swallowed it quickly.

She followed his instructions, put one in her mouth, shivered slightly, and swallowed it quickly.

“Well?” he said. “It isn't bad, is it?”

“Well?” he said. “It’s not bad, right?”

“It seems so queer to eat anything alive, and enjoy it,” she said, as she ate the rest of them.

“It feels so strange to eat something that's still alive and actually enjoy it,” she said, as she finished the rest of them.

“If you think they're good here you ought to taste them on the Cape, right out of the water,” he declared, and went on to relate how he had once eaten a fabulous number in a contest with a friend of his, and won a bet. He was fond of talking about wagers he had won. Betting had lent a zest to his life. “We'll roll down there together some day next summer, little girl. It's a great place. You can go in swimming three times a day and never feel it. And talk about eating oysters, you can't swallow 'em as fast as a fellow I know down there, Joe Pusey, can open 'em. It's some trick to open 'em.”

“If you think they’re good here, you should try them on the Cape, right out of the water,” he said, then shared a story about how he once ate an incredible amount during a contest with a friend and won a bet. He loved talking about the wagers he had won. Betting had added excitement to his life. “We’ll head down there together next summer, little girl. It’s an amazing place. You can go swimming three times a day and never feel it. And when it comes to eating oysters, you can’t swallow them as fast as a guy I know down there, Joe Pusey, can open them. It’s quite a skill to open them.”

He described the process, but she—scarcely listened. She was striving to adjust herself to the elements of a new and revolutionary experience; to the waiters who came and went, softly, deferentially putting hot plates before her, helping her to strange and delicious things; a creamy soup, a fish with a yellow sauce whose ingredients were artfully disguised, a breast of guinea fowl, a salad, an ice, and a small cup of coffee. Instincts and tastes hitherto unsuspected and ungratified were aroused in her. What would it be like always to be daintily served, to eat one's meals in this leisurely and luxurious manner? As her physical hunger was satisfied by the dainty food, even as her starved senses drank in the caressing warmth and harmony of the room, the gleaming fire, the heavy scent of the flowers, the rose glow of the lights in contrast to the storm without,—so the storm flinging itself against the windows, powerless to reach her, seemed to typify a former existence of cold, black mornings and factory bells and harsh sirens, of toil and limitations. Had her existence been like that? or was it a dream, a nightmare from which she had awakened at last? From time to time, deep within her, she felt persisting a conviction that that was reality, this illusion, but she fought it down. She wanted—oh, how she wanted to believe in the illusion!

He explained the process, but she barely listened. She was trying to adjust to the elements of a new and transformative experience; to the waiters who came and went, quietly and respectfully placing hot plates in front of her, introducing her to unfamiliar and delicious dishes: a creamy soup, a fish with a yellow sauce whose ingredients were cleverly hidden, a breast of guinea fowl, a salad, a dessert, and a small cup of coffee. Instincts and tastes she had never known and had longed for were awakened in her. What would it be like to always be elegantly served, to have meals in such a relaxed and luxurious way? As her physical hunger was satisfied by the exquisite food, her starved senses soaked in the comforting warmth and harmony of the room, the glowing fire, the rich scent of the flowers, the rosy glow of the lights contrasting with the storm outside—while the storm battered against the windows, unable to reach her, it seemed to represent a former life of cold, dreary mornings, factory bells, and harsh sirens, of hard work and limitations. Had her life really been like that? Or was it a dream, a nightmare from which she had finally awakened? Occasionally, deep within her, she felt a lingering belief that that was reality and this was an illusion, but she pushed it down. She wanted—oh, how she wanted to believe in the illusion!

Facing her was the agent, the genius, the Man who had snatched her from that existence, who had at his command these delights to bestow. She loved him, she belonged to him, he was to be her husband—yet there were moments when the glamour of this oddly tended to dissolve, when an objective vision intruded and she beheld herself, as though removed from the body, lunching with a strange man in a strange place. And once it crossed her mind—what would she think of another woman who did this? What would she think if it were Lise? She could not then achieve a sense of identity; it was as though she had partaken of some philtre lulling her, inhibiting her power to grasp the fact in its enormity. And little by little grew on her the realization of what all along she had known, that the spell of these surroundings to which she had surrendered was an expression of the man himself. He was the source of it. More and more, as he talked, his eyes troubled and stirred her; the touch of his hand, as he reached across the table and laid it on hers, burned her. When the waiters had left them alone she could stand the strain no longer, and she rose and strayed about the room, examining the furniture, the curtains, the crystal pendants, faintly pink, that softened and diffused the light; and she paused before the grand piano in the corner.

Facing her was the agent, the genius, the man who had pulled her out of that life, who had these amazing experiences to offer. She loved him, she belonged to him, he was going to be her husband—yet there were moments when the magic of it all seemed to fade, when she suddenly gained a clear perspective and saw herself, almost like an outsider, having lunch with a stranger in an unfamiliar place. And once, she wondered—what would she think of another woman in this situation? What would she think if it were Lise? She couldn't quite find a sense of herself; it felt like she had taken some kind of potion that was calming her, dulling her ability to grasp the reality of it all. Slowly, she began to realize what she had always known, that the allure of this place she had given in to was actually a reflection of the man himself. He was the source of it. More and more, as he spoke, his eyes troubled and stirred her; the touch of his hand, as he reached across the table and placed it on hers, felt electric. When the waiters had left them alone, she could no longer handle the tension, so she stood up and wandered around the room, looking at the furniture, the curtains, the soft pink crystal pendants that diffused the light; and she paused in front of the grand piano in the corner.

“I'd like to be able to play!” she said.

"I wish I could play!" she said.

“You can learn,” he told her.

“You can learn,” he said to her.

“I'm too old!”

"I'm too old!"

He laughed. And as he sat smoking his eyes followed her ceaselessly.

He laughed. And as he sat smoking, his eyes followed her nonstop.

Above the sofa hung a large print of the Circus Maximus, with crowded tiers mounting toward the sky, and awninged boxes where sat the Vestal Virgins and the Emperor high above a motley, serried group on the sand. At the mouth of a tunnel a lion stood motionless, menacing, regarding them. The picture fascinated Janet.

Above the sofa hung a large print of the Circus Maximus, with crowded tiers rising toward the sky, and canopied boxes where the Vestal Virgins and the Emperor sat high above a colorful, tightly packed crowd on the sand. At the entrance of a tunnel, a lion stood still, threatening, watching them. The picture captivated Janet.

“It's meant to be Rome, isn't it?” she asked.

“It's supposed to be Rome, right?” she asked.

“What? That? I guess so.” He got up and came over to her. “Sure,” he said. “I'm not very strong on history, but I read a book once, a novel, which told how those old fellows used to like to see Christians thrown to the lions just as we like to see football games. I'll get the book again—we'll read it together.”

“What? That? I guess so.” He stood up and walked over to her. “Sure,” he said. “I’m not great with history, but I read a novel once that talked about how those old guys liked watching Christians get thrown to the lions, just like we enjoy football games. I’ll find the book again—we can read it together.”

Janet shivered.... “Here's another picture,” he said, turning to the other side of the room. It was, apparently, an engraved copy of a modern portrait, of a woman in evening dress with shapely arms and throat and a small, aristocratic head. Around her neck was hung a heavy rope of pearls.

Janet shivered.... “Here’s another picture,” he said, turning to the other side of the room. It was clearly an engraved copy of a modern portrait, showing a woman in an evening dress with elegant arms and neck and a small, aristocratic head. She wore a thick strand of pearls around her neck.

“Isn't she beautiful!” Janet sighed.

“Isn't she gorgeous!” Janet sighed.

“Beautiful!” He led her to the mirror. “Look!” he said. “I'll buy you pearls, Janet, I want to see them gleaming against your skin. She can't compare to you. I'll—I'll drape you with pearls.”

“Beautiful!” He guided her to the mirror. “Look!” he said. “I'll buy you pearls, Janet, I want to see them shining against your skin. She can’t compare to you. I’ll—I'll drape you with pearls.”

“No, no,” she cried. “I don't want them, Claude. I don't want them. Please!” She scarcely knew what she was saying. And as she drew away from him her hands went out, were pressed together with an imploring, supplicating gesture. He seized them. His nearness was suffocating her, she flung herself into his arms, and their lips met in a long, swooning kiss. She began instinctively but vainly to struggle, not against him—but against a primal thing stronger than herself, stronger than he, stronger than codes and conventions and institutions, which yet she craved fiercely as her being's fulfilment. It was sweeping them dizzily—whither? The sheer sweetness and terror of it!

“No, no,” she cried. “I don't want them, Claude. I really don’t want them. Please!” She barely knew what she was saying. As she pulled away from him, her hands reached out, pressed together in a pleading gesture. He grabbed them. His closeness was overwhelming her, so she threw herself into his arms, and their lips met in a long, dizzying kiss. She started to instinctively but unsuccessfully struggle, not against him—but against something primal that was stronger than her, stronger than him, stronger than any rules or norms, which she still fiercely desired as the fulfillment of her very existence. It was sweeping them away—where to? The mix of sweetness and fear was incredible!

“Don't, don't!” she murmured desperately. “You mustn't!”

“Don’t, don’t!” she whispered urgently. “You can’t!”

“Janet—we're going to be married, sweetheart,—just as soon as we can. Won't you trust me? For God's sake, don't be cruel. You're my wife, now—”

“Janet—we're going to get married, sweetheart—just as soon as we can. Will you trust me? Please, don’t be harsh. You’re my wife now—”

His voice seemed to come from a great distance. And from a great distance, too, her own in reply, drowned as by falling waters.

His voice sounded like it was coming from far away. And from far away, too, her own response was drowned out, like by rushing water.

“Do you love me?—will you love me always—always?”

“Do you love me?—will you love me forever—always?”

And he answered hoarsely, “Yes—always—I swear it, Janet.” He had found her lips again, he was pulling her toward a door on the far side of the room, and suddenly, as he opened it, her resistance ceased....

And he replied hoarsely, “Yes—always—I promise you, Janet.” He had found her lips again, pulling her toward a door on the far side of the room, and suddenly, as he opened it, her resistance stopped....

The snow made automobiling impossible, and at half past nine that evening Ditmar had escorted Janet to the station in a cab, and she had taken the train for Hampton. For a while she sat as in a trance. She knew that something had happened, something portentous, cataclysmic, which had irrevocably changed her from the Janet Bumpus who had left Hampton that same morning—an age ago. But she was unable to realize the metamorphosis. In the course of a single day she had lived a lifetime, exhausted the range of human experience, until now she was powerless to feel any more. The car was filled with all sorts and conditions of people returning to homes scattered through the suburbs and smaller cities north of Boston—a mixed, Sunday-night crowd; and presently she began, in a detached way, to observe them. Their aspects, their speech and manners had the queer effect of penetrating her consciousness without arousing the emotional judgments of approval or disapproval which normally should have followed. Ordinarily she might have felt a certain sympathy for the fragile young man on the seat beside her who sat moodily staring through his glasses at the floor: and the group across the aisle would surely have moved her to disgust. Two couples were seated vis-a-vis, the men apparently making fun of a “pony” coat one of the girls was wearing. In spite of her shrieks, which drew general attention, they pulled it from her back—an operation regarded by the conductor himself with tolerant amusement. Whereupon her companion, a big, blond Teuton with an inane guffaw, boldly thrust an arm about her waist and held her while he presented the tickets. Janet beheld all this as one sees dancers through a glass, without hearing the music.

The snow made driving impossible, and at 9:30 that evening, Ditmar had taken Janet to the station in a cab, and she had boarded the train to Hampton. For a while, she sat in a daze. She knew something significant had happened, something life-changing, that had completely transformed her from the Janet Bumpus who had left Hampton that same morning—what felt like a lifetime ago. But she couldn't fully understand the change. In just one day, she had experienced so much that she now felt numb and unable to feel anything more. The car was filled with all sorts of people returning to their homes scattered throughout the suburbs and smaller towns north of Boston—a mixed, Sunday-night crowd; and soon she began to observe them from a distance. Their appearances, speech, and behavior strangely penetrated her mind without triggering any feelings of approval or disapproval that would typically follow. Normally, she might have felt some sympathy for the fragile young man next to her who sat moodily staring at the floor through his glasses, and she would have surely been repulsed by the group across the aisle. Two couples faced each other, the men seemingly mocking a “pony” coat one of the girls was wearing. Despite her screams, which caught everyone's attention, they pulled it off her back—a move the conductor regarded with tolerant amusement. Then her companion, a big, blond guy with a silly laugh, boldly wrapped an arm around her waist and held her while he showed the tickets. Janet watched all of this as if she were observing dancers through glass, unable to hear the music.

Behind her two men fell into conversation.

Behind her, two men started talking.

“I guess there's well over a foot of snow. I thought we'd have an open winter, too.”

“I guess there’s well over a foot of snow. I thought we’d have a milder winter, too.”

“Look out for them when they start in mild!”

“Watch for them when they start slowly!”

“I was afraid this darned road would be tied up if I waited until morning. I'm in real estate, and there's a deal on in my town I've got to watch every minute....”

“I was worried this stupid road would be blocked if I waited until morning. I'm in real estate, and there's a deal in my town that I need to keep an eye on every minute....”

Even the talk between two slouch-hatted millhands, foreigners, failed at the time to strike Janet as having any significance. They were discussing with some heat the prospect of having their pay reduced by the fifty-four hour law which was to come into effect on Monday. They denounced the mill owners.

Even the conversation between two millworkers in slouch hats, who were outsiders, didn’t seem significant to Janet at the time. They were passionately discussing the possibility of their pay being cut due to the fifty-four hour law that would take effect on Monday. They condemned the mill owners.

“They speed up the machine and make work harder,” said one. “I think we goin' to have a strike sure.”

“They're running the machine faster and making work tougher,” said one. “I think we're definitely headed for a strike.”

“Bad sisson too to have strike,” replied the second pessimistically. “It will be cold winter, now.”

“It's bad to have a strike,” the second person replied pessimistically. “It’s going to be a harsh winter now.”

Across the black square of the window drifted the stray lights of the countryside, and from time to time, when the train stopped, she gazed out, unheeding, at the figures moving along the dim station platforms. Suddenly, without premeditation or effort, she began to live over again the day, beginning with the wonders, half revealed, half hidden, of that journey through the whiteness to Boston.... Awakened, listening, she heard beating louder and louder on the shores of consciousness the waves of the storm which had swept her away—waves like crashing chords of music. She breathed deeply, she turned her face to the window, seeming to behold reflected there, as in a crystal, all her experiences, little and great, great and little. She was seated once more leaning back in the corner of the carriage on her way to the station, she felt Ditmar's hand working in her own, and she heard his voice pleading forgiveness—for her silence alarmed him. And she heard herself saying:—“It was my fault as much as yours.”

Across the dark square of the window floated the stray lights of the countryside, and occasionally, when the train stopped, she stared out, oblivious, at the figures moving along the dim station platforms. Suddenly, without thinking or trying, she started to relive the day, starting with the wonders, half shown, half hidden, of that journey through the whiteness to Boston... Awakened and listening, she heard the waves of the storm that had carried her away crashing louder on the shores of her consciousness—waves like powerful musical chords. She took a deep breath, turned her face to the window, and seemed to see all her experiences, big and small, reflected there like in a crystal. Once again, she was seated back in the corner of the carriage on her way to the station, feeling Ditmar's hand in hers, hearing his voice asking for forgiveness—her silence had worried him. And she heard herself say, “It was my fault as much as yours.”

And his vehement reply:—“It wasn't anybody's fault—it was natural, it was wonderful, Janet. I can't bear to see you sad.”

And his intense response: “It wasn’t anyone’s fault—it was natural, it was amazing, Janet. I can’t stand seeing you upset.”

To see her sad! Twice, during the afternoon and evening, he had spoken those words—or was it three times? Was there a time she had forgotten? And each time she had answered: “I'm not sad.” What she had felt indeed was not sadness,—but how could she describe it to him when she herself was amazed and dwarfed by it? Could he not feel it, too? Were men so different?... In the cab his solicitation, his tenderness were only to be compared with his bewilderment, his apparent awe of the feeling he himself had raised up in her, and which awed her, likewise. She had actually felt that bewilderment of his when, just before they had reached the station, she had responded passionately to his last embrace. Even as he returned her caresses, it had been conveyed to her amazingly by the quality of his touch. Was it a lack all women felt in men? and were these, even in supreme moments, merely the perplexed transmitters of life?—not life itself? Her thoughts did not gain this clarity, though she divined the secret. And yet she loved him—loved him with a fierceness that frightened her, with a tenderness that unnerved her....

To see her sad! Twice, in the afternoon and evening, he had said those words—or was it three times? Had there been a moment when she had forgotten? And each time she replied, “I’m not sad.” What she really felt wasn’t sadness—but how could she explain it to him when she herself was overwhelmed and confused by it? Couldn’t he feel it too? Were men really that different?... In the cab, his concern and tenderness were only matched by his confusion, his evident awe at the feelings he had stirred in her, which also left her in awe. She had actually sensed his bewilderment when, just before they arrived at the station, she had responded passionately to his last embrace. Even as he returned her affection, she could feel it remarkably through the quality of his touch. Was it a deficiency all women felt in men? And were they, even in the most intense moments, merely the confused channels of life?—not life itself? Her thoughts didn’t reach this clarity, though she sensed the truth. And yet she loved him—loved him with a fierceness that scared her, with a tenderness that unsettled her...

At the Hampton station she took the trolley, alighting at the Common, following the narrow path made by pedestrians in the heavy snow to Fillmore Street. She climbed the dark stairs, opened the dining-room door, and paused on the threshold. Hannah and Edward sat there under the lamp, Hannah scanning through her spectacles the pages of a Sunday newspaper. On perceiving Janet she dropped it hastily in her lap.

At the Hampton station, she took the trolley, getting off at the Common and following the narrow path made by people trudging through the heavy snow to Fillmore Street. She climbed the dark stairs, opened the dining room door, and paused at the entrance. Hannah and Edward were sitting there under the lamp, with Hannah reading a Sunday newspaper through her glasses. As soon as she saw Janet, she quickly dropped it into her lap.

“Well, I was concerned about you, in all this storm!” she exclaimed. “Thank goodness you're home, anyway. You haven't seen Lise, have you?”

“Well, I was worried about you in all this storm!” she exclaimed. “Thank goodness you're home, though. You haven't seen Lise, have you?”

“Lise?” Janet repeated. “Hasn't she been home?”

“Lise?” Janet asked again. “Hasn’t she been home?”

“Your father and I have been alone all day long. Not that it is so uncommon for Lise to be gone. I wish it wasn't! But you! When you didn't come home for supper I was considerably worried.”

“Your dad and I have been alone all day. It’s not unusual for Lise to be away. I wish it weren’t! But you! When you didn’t come home for dinner, I was really worried.”

Janet sat down between her mother and father and began to draw off her gloves.

Janet sat down between her mom and dad and started to take off her gloves.

“I'm going to marry Mr. Ditmar,” she announced.

“I'm going to marry Mr. Ditmar,” she said.

For a few moments the silence was broken only by the ticking of the old-fashioned clock.

For a few moments, the only sound was the ticking of the old clock.

“Mr. Ditmar!” said Hannah, at length. “You're going to marry Mr. Ditmar!”

“Mr. Ditmar!” Hannah finally exclaimed. “You’re going to marry Mr. Ditmar!”

Edward was still inarticulate. His face twitched, his eyes watered as he stared at her.

Edward was still struggling to find the right words. His face twitched, and his eyes watered as he looked at her.

“Not right away,” said Janet.

"Not yet," said Janet.

“Well, I must say you take it rather cool,” declared Hannah, almost resentfully. “You come in and tell us you're going to marry Mr. Ditmar just like you were talking about the weather.”

“Well, I have to say you’re taking it pretty easy,” Hannah said, almost with a hint of resentment. “You walk in and announce you’re going to marry Mr. Ditmar like you’re just chatting about the weather.”

Hannah's eyes filled with tears. There had been indeed an unconscious lack of consideration in Janet's abrupt announcement, which had fallen like a spark on the dry tinder of Hannah's hope. The result was a suffocating flame. Janet, whom love had quickened, had a swift perception of this. She rose quickly and took Hannah in her arms and kissed her. It was as though the relation between them were reversed, and the daughter had now become the mother and the comforter.

Hannah's eyes welled up with tears. There had definitely been an unintentional lack of thought in Janet's sudden announcement, which had landed like a spark on the brittle kindling of Hannah's hope. The outcome was a choking fire. Janet, empowered by love, quickly sensed this. She stood up and embraced Hannah, kissing her. It felt as if their roles had reversed, with the daughter now becoming the mother and the one offering comfort.

“I always knew something like this would happen!” said Edward. His words incited Hannah to protest.

“I always knew something like this would happen!” Edward said. His words prompted Hannah to argue.

“You didn't anything of the kind, Edward Bumpus,” she exclaimed.

“You didn't do anything like that, Edward Bumpus,” she exclaimed.

“Just to think of Janet livin' in that big house up in Warren Street!” he went on, unheeding, jubilant. “You'll drop in and see the old people once in a while, Janet, you won't forget us?”

“Just think about Janet living in that big house on Warren Street!” he continued, ignoring everything else, excited. “You'll stop by to see the old folks once in a while, right, Janet? You won't forget us?”

“I wish you wouldn't talk like that, father,” said Janet.

“I wish you wouldn't speak like that, Dad,” said Janet.

“Well, he's a fine man, Claude Ditmar, I always said that. The way he stops and talks to me when he passes the gate—”

“Well, he's a great guy, Claude Ditmar, I’ve always said that. The way he stops and chats with me when he walks by the gate—”

“That doesn't make him a good man,” Hannah declared, and added: “If he wasn't a good man, Janet wouldn't be marrying him.”

"That doesn't mean he's a good guy," Hannah said, adding, "If he weren't a good guy, Janet wouldn't be marrying him."

“I don't know whether he's good or not,” said Janet.

“I don't know if he's good or not,” said Janet.

“That's so, too,” observed Hannah, approvingly. “We can't any of us tell till we've tried 'em, and then it's too late to change. I'd like to see him, but I guess he wouldn't care to come down here to Fillmore Street.” The difference between Ditmar's social and economic standing and their own suggested appalling complications to her mind. “I suppose I won't get a sight of him till after you're married, and not much then.”

“That's true,” Hannah said, nodding. “None of us can really know until we try, and by then it’s too late to switch things up. I’d like to see him, but I doubt he’d want to come down here to Fillmore Street.” The gap between Ditmar's social and economic status and theirs made her think of some pretty scary complications. “I guess I won’t see him until after you’re married, if even then.”

“There's plenty of time to think about that, mother,” answered Janet.

“There's plenty of time to think about that, Mom,” answered Janet.

“I'd want to have everything decent and regular,” Hannah insisted. “We may be poor, but we come of good stock, as your father says.”

“I want everything to be proper and in order,” Hannah insisted. “We might be poor, but we come from good families, just like your father says.”

“It'll be all right—Mr. Ditmar will behave like a gentleman,” Edward assured her.

“It'll be fine—Mr. Ditmar will act like a gentleman,” Edward assured her.

“I thought I ought to tell you about it,” Janet said, “but you mustn't mention it, yet, not even to Lise. Lise will talk. Mr. Ditmar's very busy now,—he hasn't made any plans.”

“I thought I should tell you about it,” Janet said, “but you can’t mention it yet, not even to Lise. Lise will gossip. Mr. Ditmar is really busy right now—he hasn’t made any plans.”

“I wish Lise could get married!” exclaimed Hannah, irrelevantly. “She's been acting so queer lately, she's not been herself at all.”

“I wish Lise could get married!” Hannah exclaimed, unrelatedly. “She’s been acting so weird lately; she’s not herself at all.”

“Now there you go, borrowing trouble, mother,” Edward exclaimed. He could not take his eyes from Janet, but continued to regard her with benevolence. “Lise'll get married some day. I don't suppose we can expect another Mr. Ditmar....”

“Now there you go, creating problems, Mom,” Edward said. He couldn’t take his eyes off Janet but kept looking at her with kindness. “Lise will get married someday. I don’t think we can expect another Mr. Ditmar...”

“Well,” said Hannah, presently, “there's no use sitting up all night.” She rose and kissed Janet again. “I just can't believe it,” she declared, “but I guess it's so if you say it is.”

“Well,” Hannah said after a moment, “there's no point in staying up all night.” She got up and kissed Janet again. “I just can't wrap my head around it,” she said, “but I suppose it's true if you say it is.”

“Of course it's so,” said Edward.

“Of course it is,” said Edward.

“I so want you should be happy, Janet,” said Hannah....

“I really want you to be happy, Janet,” said Hannah....

Was it so? Her mother and father, the dwarfed and ugly surroundings of Fillmore Street made it seem incredible once more. And—what would they say if they knew what had happened to her this day? When she had reached her room, Janet began to wonder why she had told her parents. Had it not been in order to relieve their anxiety—especially her mother's—on the score of her recent absences from home? Yes, that was it, and because the news would make them happy. And then the mere assertion to them that she was to marry Ditmar helped to make it more real to herself. But, now that reality was fading again, she was unable to bring it within the scope of her imagination, her mind refused to hold one remembered circumstance long enough to coordinate it with another: she realized that she was tired—too tired to think any more. But despite her exhaustion there remained within her, possessing her, as it were overshadowing her, unrelated to future or past, the presence of the man who had awakened her to an intensity of life hitherto unconceived. When her head touched the pillow she fell asleep....

Was it really true? Her parents, along with the dull and unattractive surroundings of Fillmore Street, made it seem unbelievable once again. And—what would they say if they found out what had happened to her that day? When she got to her room, Janet started to wonder why she had told her parents. Was it not to ease their worries—especially her mother’s—about her recent absences from home? Yes, that was it, and because the news would make them happy. Plus, merely saying to them that she was going to marry Ditmar helped make it feel more real to herself. But now that reality was fading again, she couldn’t bring it to life in her imagination; her mind wouldn’t hold onto any one memory long enough to connect it with another: she realized she was tired—too tired to think any more. Yet despite her exhaustion, there remained within her, almost overshadowing her, a presence of the man who had opened her eyes to a level of life she had never imagined before. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell asleep....

When the bells and the undulating scream of the siren awoke her, she lay awhile groping in the darkness. Where was she? Who was she? The discovery of the fact that the nail of the middle finger on her right hand was broken, gave her a clew. She had broken that nail in reaching out to save something—a vase of roses—that was it!—a vase of roses on a table with a white cloth. Ditmar had tipped it over. The sudden flaring up of this trivial incident served to re-establish her identity, to light a fuse along which her mind began to run like fire, illuminating redly all the events of the day before. It was sweet to lie thus, to possess, as her very own, these precious, passionate memories of life lived at last to fulness, to feel that she had irrevocably given herself and taken—all. A longing to see Ditmar again invaded her: he would take an early train, he would be at the office by nine. How could she wait until then?

When the bells and the loud wailing of the siren woke her up, she lay there for a while, trying to see in the dark. Where was she? Who was she? Realizing that the nail on her right middle finger was broken gave her a clue. She had broken that nail while reaching to save something—a vase of roses—that's it!—a vase of roses on a table with a white cloth. Ditmar had knocked it over. The sudden memory of this minor incident helped her remember who she was, sparking her mind to race, bringing back all the events of the day before in vivid detail. It felt wonderful to lie there, to own these precious, intense memories of life fully lived, to realize that she had completely given herself and taken everything. A desire to see Ditmar again washed over her: he would catch an early train and be at the office by nine. How could she possibly wait until then?

With a movement that had become habitual, subconscious, she reached out her hand to arouse her sister. The coldness of the sheets on the right side of the bed sent a shiver through her—a shiver of fear.

With a movement that had become second nature, she reached out her hand to wake her sister. The coldness of the sheets on the right side of the bed sent a shiver through her—a shiver of fear.

“Lise!” she called. But there was no answer from the darkness. And Janet, trembling, her heart beating wildly, sprang from the bed, searched for the matches, and lit the gas. There was no sign of Lise; her clothes, which she had the habit of flinging across the chairs, were nowhere to be seen. Janet's eyes fell on the bureau, marked the absence of several knick-knacks, including a comb and brush, and with a sudden sickness of apprehension she darted to the wardrobe and flung open the doors. In the bottom were a few odd garments, above was the hat with the purple feather, now shabby and discarded, on the hooks a skirt and jacket Lise wore to work at the Bagatelle in bad weather. That was all.... Janet sank down in the rocking-chair, her hands clasped together, overwhelmed by the sudden apprehension of the tragedy that had lurked, all unsuspected, in the darkness: a tragedy, not of Lise alone, but in which she herself was somehow involved. Just why this was so, she could not for the moment declare. The room was cold, she was clad only in a nightdress, but surges of heat ran through her body. What should she do? She must think. But thought was impossible. She got up and closed the window and began to dress with feverish rapidity, pausing now and again to stand motionless. In one such moment there entered her mind an incident that oddly had made little impression at the time of its occurrence because she, Janet, had been blinded by the prospect of her own happiness—that happiness which, a few minutes ago, had seemed so real and vital a thing! And it was the memory of this incident that suddenly threw a glaring, evil light on all of Lise's conduct during the past months—her accidental dropping of the vanity case and the gold coin! Now she knew for a certainty what had happened to her sister.

“Lise!” she called. But there was no response from the darkness. And Janet, trembling, her heart racing, jumped out of bed, searched for the matches, and lit the gas. There was no sign of Lise; her clothes, which she usually tossed across the chairs, were nowhere to be found. Janet's eyes landed on the dresser, and she noticed that several items were missing, including a comb and brush. Suddenly feeling sick with dread, she rushed to the wardrobe and flung open the doors. At the bottom were a few random clothes, and above hung the hat with the purple feather, now worn out and neglected. On the hooks were the skirt and jacket Lise wore to work at the Bagatelle in bad weather. That was all.... Janet sank down in the rocking chair, her hands clasped together, overwhelmed by the sudden realization of the tragedy that had been lurking, completely unseen, in the darkness: a tragedy that didn't just involve Lise but also somehow included her. She couldn't quite understand why that was at the moment. The room was cold, and she was only in a nightgown, but waves of heat coursed through her body. What should she do? She needed to think. But thinking felt impossible. She got up, closed the window, and started dressing quickly, pausing now and then to stand still. In one of those moments, a memory entered her mind—an incident that hadn't made much of an impression when it happened because she, Janet, had been too focused on her own happiness— that happiness which, just a few minutes ago, had seemed so real and vital! And it was the memory of this incident that suddenly cast a glaring, sinister light on all of Lise's behavior over the past months—her accidental dropping of the vanity case and the gold coin! Now she knew for sure what had happened to her sister.

Having dressed herself, she entered the kitchen, which was warm, filled with the smell of frying meat. Streaks of grease smoke floated fantastically beneath the low ceiling, and Hannah, with the frying-pan in one hand and a fork in the other, was bending over the stove. Wisps of her scant, whitening hair escaped from the ridiculous, tightly drawn knot at the back of her head; in the light of the flickering gas-jet she looked so old and worn that a sudden pity smote Janet and made her dumb—pity for her mother, pity for herself, pity for Lise; pity that lent a staggering insight into life itself. Hannah had once been young, desirable, perhaps, swayed by those forces which had swayed her. Janet wondered why she had never guessed this before, and why she had guessed it now. But it was Hannah who, looking up and catching sight of Janet's face, was quick to divine the presage in it and gave voice to the foreboding that had weighed on her for many weeks.

Having gotten dressed, she walked into the kitchen, which was warm and smelled of frying meat. Streaks of greasy smoke floated oddly below the low ceiling, and Hannah, with a frying pan in one hand and a fork in the other, was leaning over the stove. Strands of her thinning, grayish hair slipped out from the ridiculous, tight bun at the back of her head; in the light of the flickering gas flame, she looked so old and worn that a sudden wave of pity hit Janet and left her speechless—pity for her mother, pity for herself, pity for Lise; a pity that provided a staggering insight into life itself. Hannah had once been young and attractive, perhaps, influenced by those forces that had affected her. Janet wondered why she had never realized this before and why it had come to her now. But it was Hannah who, looking up and noticing Janet's expression, quickly sensed the weight of it and voiced the unease that had been troubling her for weeks.

“Where's Lise?”

“Where is Lise?”

And Janet could not answer. She shook her head. Hannah dropped the fork, the handle of the frying pan and crossed the room swiftly, seizing Janet by the shoulders.

And Janet couldn't respond. She shook her head. Hannah dropped the fork, the handle of the frying pan, and crossed the room quickly, grabbing Janet by the shoulders.

“Is she gone? I knew it, I felt it all along. I thought she'd done something she was afraid to tell about—I tried to ask her, but I couldn't—I couldn't! And now she's gone. Oh, my God, I'll never forgive myself!”

“Is she gone? I knew it, I felt it all along. I thought she had done something she was scared to talk about—I tried to ask her, but I couldn't—I just couldn't! And now she's gone. Oh my God, I'll never forgive myself!”

The unaccustomed sight of her mother's grief was terrible. For an instant only she clung to Janet, then becoming mute, she sat down in the kitchen chair and stared with dry, unseeing eyes at the wall. Her face twitched. Janet could not bear to look at it, to see the torture in her mother's eyes. She, Janet, seemed suddenly to have grown old herself, to have lived through ages of misery and tragedy.... She was aware of a pungent odour, went to the stove, picked up the fork, and turned the steak. Now and then she glanced at Hannah. Grief seemed to have frozen her. Then, from the dining-room she heard footsteps, and Edward stood in the doorway.

The unfamiliar sight of her mother's grief was awful. For just a moment, she held onto Janet, but then became silent and sat down in the kitchen chair, staring with dry, blank eyes at the wall. Her face twitched. Janet couldn't stand to look at it, to witness the pain in her mother's eyes. It felt like she, Janet, had suddenly aged herself, as if she had lived through endless misery and tragedy... She noticed a strong smell, went to the stove, picked up the fork, and turned the steak. Every now and then, she glanced at Hannah. Grief seemed to have frozen her. Then, from the dining room, she heard footsteps, and Edward appeared in the doorway.

“Well, what's the matter with breakfast?” he asked. From where he stood he could not see Hannah's face, but gradually his eyes were drawn to her figure. His intuition was not quick, and some moments passed before the rigidity of the pose impressed itself upon him.

“Well, what's wrong with breakfast?” he asked. From his position, he couldn't see Hannah's face, but slowly his gaze shifted to her figure. His instincts weren't sharp, and it took him a few moments to realize how stiff her posture was.

“Is mother sick?” he asked falteringly.

“Is mom sick?” he asked hesitantly.

Janet went to him. But it was Hannah who spoke.

Janet approached him. But it was Hannah who spoke.

“Lise has gone,” she said.

“Lise is gone,” she said.

“Lise—gone,” Edward repeated. “Gone where?”

“Lise—gone,” Edward repeated. “Gone where?”

“She's run away—she's disgraced us,” Hannah replied, in a monotonous, dulled voice.

“She's run away—she's brought shame upon us,” Hannah replied, in a monotonous, flat voice.

Edward did not seem to understand, and presently Janet felt impelled to break the silence.

Edward didn't seem to get it, and soon Janet felt compelled to break the silence.

“She didn't come home last night, father.”

“She didn’t come home last night, Dad.”

“Didn't come home? Mebbe she spent the night with a friend,” he said.

“Didn’t come home? Maybe she spent the night at a friend’s place,” he said.

It seemed incredible, at such a moment, that he could still be hopeful.

It seemed unbelievable, at that moment, that he could still feel hopeful.

“No, she's gone, I tell you, she's lost, we'll never lay eyes on her again. My God, I never thought she'd come to this, but I might have guessed it. Lise! Lise! To think it's my Lise!”

“No, she's gone, I’m telling you, she’s lost, we’ll never see her again. My God, I never thought it would come to this, but I guess I should have seen it coming. Lise! Lise! To think it’s my Lise!”

Hannah's voice echoed pitifully through the silence of the flat. So appealing, so heartbroken was the cry one might have thought that Lise, wherever she was, would have heard it. Edward was dazed by the shock, his lower lip quivered and fell. He walked over to Hannah's chair and put his hand on her shoulder.

Hannah's voice rang out sadly through the silence of the apartment. The cry was so heartbreaking and compelling that one might have thought Lise, no matter where she was, would have heard it. Edward was stunned by the shock, his lower lip trembled and dropped. He walked over to Hannah's chair and placed his hand on her shoulder.

“There, there, mother,” he pleaded. “If she's gone, we'll find her, we'll bring her back to you.”

“There, there, Mom,” he pleaded. “If she's gone, we'll find her, and we'll bring her back to you.”

Hannah shook her head. She pushed back her chair abruptly and going over to the stove took the fork from Janet's hand and put the steak on the dish.

Hannah shook her head. She pushed back her chair sharply and went over to the stove, took the fork from Janet's hand, and placed the steak on the dish.

“Go in there and set down, Edward,” she said. “I guess we've got to have breakfast just the same, whether she's gone or not.”

“Go in there and sit down, Edward,” she said. “I guess we still need to have breakfast, whether she’s here or not.”

It was terrible to see Hannah, with that look on her face, going about her tasks automatically. And Edward, too, seemed suddenly to have become aged and broken; his trust in the world, so amazingly preserved through many vicissitudes, shattered at last. He spilled his coffee when he tried to drink, and presently he got up and wandered about the room, searching for his overcoat. It was Janet who found it and helped him on with it. He tried to say something, but failing, departed heavily for the mill. Janet began to remove the dishes from the table.

It was hard to watch Hannah, with that expression on her face, going through her chores on autopilot. And Edward seemed to have suddenly aged and crumbled; his belief in the world, which had somehow held up through so many ups and downs, was finally broken. He spilled his coffee when he tried to take a sip, then got up and wandered around the room, looking for his overcoat. Janet was the one who found it and helped him put it on. He tried to say something, but couldn't, and left for the mill with a heavy heart. Janet started clearing the dishes from the table.

“You've got to eat something, too, before you go to work,” said Hannah.

“You need to eat something before you head to work,” said Hannah.

“I've had all I want,” Janet replied.

“I’ve had all I want,” Janet said.

Hannah followed her into the kitchen. The scarcely touched food was laid aside, the coffee-pot emptied, Hannah put the cups in the basin in the sink and let the water run. She turned to Janet and seized her hands convulsively.

Hannah followed her into the kitchen. The barely touched food was pushed aside, the coffee pot emptied. Hannah placed the cups in the sink basin and turned on the water. She turned to Janet and grasped her hands tightly.

“Let me do this, mother,” said Janet. She knew her mother was thinking of the newly-found joy that Lise's disgrace had marred, but she released her hands, gently, and took the mop from the nail on which it hung.

“Let me take care of this, Mom,” said Janet. She understood that her mother was reflecting on the newfound happiness that Lise's downfall had spoiled, but she let go of her hands gently and grabbed the mop from the nail where it was hanging.

“You sit down, mother,” she said.

“You sit down, Mom,” she said.

Hannah would not. They finished the dishes together in silence while the light of the new day stole in through the windows. Janet went into her room, set it in order, made up the bed, put on her coat and hat and rubbers. Then she returned to Hannah, who seized her.

Hannah wouldn't budge. They finished the dishes together quietly while the light of the new day streamed in through the windows. Janet went to her room, tidied it up, made the bed, and put on her coat, hat, and rubber boots. Then she went back to Hannah, who grabbed her.

“It ain't going to spoil your happiness?”

“It's not going to ruin your happiness?”

But Janet could not answer. She kissed her mother, and went out, down the stairs into the street. The day was sharp and cold and bracing, and out of an azure sky the sun shone with dazzling brightness on the snow, which the west wind was whirling into little eddies of white smoke, leaving on the drifts delicate scalloped designs like those printed by waves on the sands of the sea. They seemed to Janet that morning hatefully beautiful. In front of his tin shop, whistling cheerfully and labouring energetically with a shovel to clean his sidewalk, was Johnny Tiernan, the tip of his pointed nose made very red by the wind.

But Janet couldn't answer. She kissed her mother and went out, down the stairs and into the street. The day was sharp, cold, and invigorating, and from a bright blue sky, the sun shined dazzlingly on the snow, which the west wind was swirling into little eddies of white smoke, leaving delicate scalloped designs on the drifts like those made by waves on the beach. That morning, they seemed to Janet hatefully beautiful. In front of his tin shop, whistling cheerfully and working energetically with a shovel to clear his sidewalk, was Johnny Tiernan, the tip of his pointed nose bright red from the wind.

“Good morning, Miss Bumpus,” he said. “Now, if you'd only waited awhile, I'd have had it as clean as a parlour. It's fine weather for coal bills.”

“Good morning, Miss Bumpus,” he said. “Now, if you'd just waited a bit, I would have had it as clean as a living room. It’s perfect weather for coal bills.”

She halted.

She stopped.

“Can I see you a moment, Mr. Tiernan?”

“Can I talk to you for a moment, Mr. Tiernan?”

Johnny looked at her.

Johnny gazed at her.

“Why sure,” he said. Leaning his shovel against the wall, he gallantly opened the door that she might pass in before him and then led the way to the back of the shop where the stove was glowing hospitably. He placed a chair for her. “Now what can I be doing to serve you?” he asked.

“Of course,” he said. Leaning his shovel against the wall, he politely opened the door so she could go in first and then led her to the back of the shop where the stove was warmly glowing. He pulled out a chair for her. “So, what can I do for you?” he asked.

“It's about my sister,” said Janet.

“It's about my sister,” Janet said.

“Miss Lise?”

“Ms. Lise?”

“I thought you might know what man she's been going with lately,” said Janet.

“I thought you might know which guy she's been seeing lately,” said Janet.

Mr. Tiernan had often wondered how much Janet knew about her sister. In spite of a momentary embarrassment most unusual in him, the courage of her question made a strong appeal, and his quick sympathies suspected the tragedy behind her apparent calmness. He met her magnificently.

Mr. Tiernan often wondered how much Janet knew about her sister. Despite feeling a rare moment of embarrassment, the boldness of her question struck a chord with him, and his instincts sensed the sadness hidden beneath her calm demeanor. He responded to her wonderfully.

“Why,” he said, “I have seen Miss Lise with a fellow named Duval—Howard Duval—when he's been in town. He travels for a Boston shoe house, Humphrey and Gillmount.”

“Why,” he said, “I’ve seen Miss Lise with a guy named Duval—Howard Duval—when he’s been in town. He works for a shoe company in Boston, Humphrey and Gillmount.”

“I'm afraid Lise has gone away with him,” said Janet. “I thought you might be able to find out something about him, and—whether any one had seen them. She left home yesterday morning.”

“I'm afraid Lise has gone off with him,” said Janet. “I thought you might be able to find out something about him and if anyone has seen them. She left home yesterday morning.”

For an instant Mr. Tiernan stood silent before her, his legs apart, his fingers running through his bristly hair.

For a moment, Mr. Tiernan stood quietly in front of her, his legs spread apart, his fingers running through his stubbly hair.

“Well, ye did right to come straight to me, Miss Janet. It's me that can find out, if anybody can, and it's glad I am to help you. Just you stay here—make yourself at home while I run down and see some of the boys. I'll not be long—and don't be afraid I'll let on about it.”

“Well, you did the right thing by coming straight to me, Miss Janet. I'm the one who can find out, if anyone can, and I'm happy to help you. Just stay here—make yourself comfortable while I go see some of the guys. I won't be long—and don't worry, I won't spill the beans about it.”

He seized his overcoat and departed. Presently the sun, glinting on the sheets of tin, started Janet's glance straying around the shop, noting its disorderly details, the heaped-up stovepipes, the littered work-bench with the shears lying across the vise. Once she thought of Ditmar arriving at the office and wondering what had happened to her.... The sound of a bell made her jump. Mr. Tiernan had returned.

He grabbed his overcoat and left. Soon, the sun reflecting off the sheets of tin caught Janet's attention, making her look around the shop and notice its messy details: the piled-up stovepipes, the cluttered workbench with the shears laid across the vise. For a moment, she thought about Ditmar getting to the office and wondering where she was.... The sound of a bell startled her. Mr. Tiernan was back.

“She's gone with him,” said Janet, not as a question, but as one stating a fact.

“She's gone with him,” Janet said, not as if she were asking, but as if she were stating a fact.

Mr. Tiernan nodded.

Mr. Tiernan nodded.

“They took the nine-thirty-six for Boston yesterday morning. Eddy Colahan was at the depot.”

“They took the 9:36 train to Boston yesterday morning. Eddy Colahan was at the station.”

Janet rose. “Thank you,” she said simply.

Janet stood up. “Thanks,” she said straightforwardly.

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

“I'm going to Boston,” she answered. “I'm going to find out where she is.”

“I'm heading to Boston,” she replied. “I’m going to find out where she is.”

“Then it's me that's going with you,” he announced.

“Then I’m the one going with you,” he announced.

“Oh no, Mr. Tiernan!” she protested. “I couldn't let you do that.”

“Oh no, Mr. Tiernan!” she exclaimed. “I can’t let you do that.”

“And why not?” he demanded. “I've got a little business there myself. I'm proud to go with you. It's your sister you want, isn't it?”

“And why not?” he asked. “I have a small business there too. I'm happy to go with you. You're looking for your sister, right?”

“Yes.”

"Yep."

“Well, what would you be doing by yourself—a young lady? How will you find your sister?”

“Well, what would you be doing by yourself—young lady? How are you going to find your sister?”

“Do you think you can find her?”

“Do you think you can find her?”

“Sure I can find her,” he proclaimed, confidently. He had evidently made up his mind that casual treatment was what the affair demanded. “Haven't I good friends in Boston?” By friendship he swayed his world: nor was he completely unknown—though he did not say so—to certain influential members of his race of the Boston police department. Pulling out a large nickel watch and observing that they had just time to catch the train, he locked up his shop, and they set out together for the station. Mr. Tiernan led the way, for the path was narrow. The dry snow squeaked under his feet.

“Sure, I can find her,” he said confidently. He clearly decided that a casual approach was what the situation needed. “Don’t I have good friends in Boston?” With his friendships, he had influence; he was not completely unknown—though he didn't mention it—to some important people in his community in the Boston police department. Checking his large nickel watch and noting that they had just enough time to catch the train, he locked up his shop, and they headed to the station together. Mr. Tiernan took the lead since the path was narrow. The dry snow crunched under his feet.

After escorting her to a seat on the train, he tactfully retired to the smoking car, not to rejoin her until they were on the trestle spanning the Charles River by the North Station. All the way to Boston she had sat gazing out of the window at the blinding whiteness of the fields, incapable of rousing herself to the necessity of thought, to a degree of feeling commensurate with the situation. She did not know what she would say to Lise if she should find her; and in spite of Mr. Tiernan's expressed confidence, the chances of success seemed remote. When the train began to thread the crowded suburbs, the city, spreading out over its hills, instead of thrilling her, as yesterday, with a sense of dignity and power, of opportunity and emancipation, seemed a labyrinth with many warrens where vice and crime and sorrow could hide. In front of the station the traffic was already crushing the snow into filth. They passed the spot where, the night before, the carriage had stopped, where Ditmar had bidden her good-bye. Something stirred within her, became a shooting pain.... She asked Mr. Tiernan what he intended to do.

After helping her to a seat on the train, he politely went to the smoking car, not planning to join her again until they were on the trestle crossing the Charles River near North Station. All the way to Boston, she sat staring out the window at the blinding whiteness of the fields, unable to summon any thoughts or feelings that matched the situation. She had no idea what she would say to Lise if she found her, and despite Mr. Tiernan's reassurances, the chances of success seemed slim. As the train navigated through the busy suburbs, the city, spreading across its hills, no longer thrilled her with feelings of dignity and power, opportunity, and freedom, but instead felt like a maze full of hideouts for vice, crime, and sorrow. In front of the station, the traffic was already turning the snow into mud. They passed the place where, the night before, the carriage had stopped, where Ditmar had said goodbye. Something inside her stirred, turning into a sharp pain... She asked Mr. Tiernan what he planned to do.

“I'm going right after the man, if he's here in the city,” he told her. And they boarded a street car, which almost immediately shot into the darkness of the subway. Emerging at Scollay Square, and walking a few blocks, they came to a window where guns, revolvers, and fishing tackle were displayed, and on which was painted the name, “Timothy Mulally.” Mr. Tiernan entered.

“I'm going straight for the guy if he's in the city,” he told her. They hopped on a streetcar, which quickly plunged into the darkness of the subway. When they got out at Scollay Square and walked a few blocks, they reached a shop window displaying guns, revolvers, and fishing gear, with the name “Timothy Mulally” painted across it. Mr. Tiernan went inside.

“Is Tim in?” he inquired of one of the clerks, who nodded his head towards the rear of the store, where a middle-aged, grey-haired Irishman was seated at a desk under a drop light.

“Is Tim around?” he asked one of the clerks, who nodded towards the back of the store, where a middle-aged, grey-haired Irishman was sitting at a desk under a drop light.

“Is it you, Johnny?” he exclaimed, looking up.

“Is that you, Johnny?” he exclaimed, looking up.

“It's meself,” said Mr. Tiernan. “And this is Miss Bumpus, a young lady friend of mine from Hampton.”

“It's me,” said Mr. Tiernan. “And this is Miss Bumpus, a young lady friend of mine from Hampton.”

Mr. Mulally rose and bowed.

Mr. Mulally stood and bowed.

“How do ye do, ma'am,” he said.

“Hi, ma'am,” he said.

“I've got a little business to do for her,” Mr. Tiernan continued. “I thought you might offer her a chair and let her stay here, quiet, while I was gone.”

“I have a small task to take care of for her,” Mr. Tiernan continued. “I thought you could offer her a chair and let her stay here quietly while I’m away.”

“With pleasure, ma'am,” Mr. Mulally replied, pulling forward a chair with alacrity. “Just sit there comfortable—no one will disturb ye.”

“With pleasure, ma'am,” Mr. Mulally replied, quickly pulling out a chair. “Just sit there comfortably—no one will bother you.”

When, in the course of half an hour, Mr. Tiernan returned, there was a grim yet triumphant look in his little blue eyes, but it was not until Janet had thanked Mr. Mulally for his hospitality and they had reached the sidewalk that he announced the result of his quest.

When Mr. Tiernan came back after half an hour, there was a serious yet victorious look in his small blue eyes, but it wasn't until Janet had thanked Mr. Mulally for his hospitality and they had stepped onto the sidewalk that he revealed the outcome of his search.

“Well, I caught him. It's lucky we came when we did—he was just going out on the road again, up to Maine. I know where Miss Lise is.”

“Well, I got him. It’s a good thing we showed up when we did—he was just about to hit the road again, heading to Maine. I know where Miss Lise is.”

“He told you!” exclaimed Janet.

“He said you!” exclaimed Janet.

“He told me indeed, but it wasn't any joy to him. He was all for bluffing at first. It's easy to scare the likes of him. He was as white as his collar before I was done with him. He knows who I am, all right he's heard of me in Hampton,” Mr. Tiernan added, with a pardonable touch of pride.

“He told me, but it wasn’t any joy for him. He was all about putting on a brave face at first. It’s easy to scare someone like him. He was as pale as his collar by the time I was finished with him. He knows who I am; he’s definitely heard of me in Hampton,” Mr. Tiernan added, with a justifiable hint of pride.

“What did you say?” inquired Janet, curiously.

“What did you say?” Janet asked, intrigued.

“Say?” repeated Mr. Tiernan. “It's not much I had to say, Miss Janet. I was all ready to go to Mr. Gillmount, his boss. I'm guessing he won't take much pleasure on this trip.”

“Say?” repeated Mr. Tiernan. “I don’t have much to say, Miss Janet. I was all set to go to Mr. Gillmount, his boss. I’m guessing he won’t take much pleasure in this trip.”

She asked for no more details.

She didn't ask for any more details.





CHAPTER XIII

Once more Janet and Mr. Tiernan descended into the subway, taking a car going to the south and west, which finally came out of the tunnel into a broad avenue lined with shabby shops, hotels and saloons, and long rows of boarding—and rooming-houses. They alighted at a certain corner, walked a little way along a street unkempt and dreary, Mr. Tiernan scrutinizing the numbers until he paused in front of a house with a basement kitchen and snow-covered, sandstone steps. Climbing these, he pulled the bell, and they stood waiting in the twilight of a half-closed vestibule until presently shuffling steps were heard within; the door was cautiously opened, not more than a foot, but enough to reveal a woman in a loose wrapper, with an untidy mass of bleached hair and a puffy face like a fungus grown in darkness.

Once again, Janet and Mr. Tiernan went down into the subway, catching a train heading south and west, which eventually emerged from the tunnel onto a wide street filled with rundown shops, hotels, and bars, as well as long rows of boarding and rooming houses. They got off at a particular corner, walked a short distance along a messy and dreary street, with Mr. Tiernan checking the numbers until he stopped in front of a house with a basement kitchen and snow-covered, sandstone steps. Climbing these, he rang the bell, and they stood waiting in the dim light of a half-closed entryway until they heard shuffling footsteps inside; the door opened cautiously, just about a foot, but it was enough to show a woman in a loose robe, with a disheveled mass of bleached hair and a puffy face like a fungus growing in the dark.

“I want to see Miss Lise Bumpus,” Mr. Tiernan demanded.

“I want to see Miss Lise Bumpus,” Mr. Tiernan insisted.

“You've got the wrong place. There ain't no one of that name here,” said the woman.

“You've got the wrong place. There's no one by that name here,” said the woman.

“There ain't! All right,” he insisted aggressively, pushing open the door in spite of her. “If you don't let this young lady see her quick, there's trouble coming to you.”

“There isn't! Fine,” he said firmly, pushing the door open despite her. “If you don't let this young lady see her quickly, you'll be in for some trouble.”

“Who are you?” asked the woman, impudently, yet showing signs of fear.

“Who are you?” the woman asked, boldly, but with hints of fear.

“Never mind who I am,” Mr. Tiernan declared. “I know all about you, and I know all about Duval. If you don't want any trouble you won't make any, and you'll take this young lady to her sister. I'll wait here for you, Miss Janet,” he added.

“Forget who I am,” Mr. Tiernan said. “I know everything about you and about Duval. If you don’t want any issues, you won’t cause any, and you’ll take this young lady to her sister. I’ll wait here for you, Miss Janet,” he added.

“I don't know nothing about her—she rented my room that's all I know,” the woman replied sullenly. “If you mean that couple that came here yesterday—”

“I don't know anything about her—she just rented my room, that’s all I know,” the woman replied sullenly. “If you’re talking about that couple that came here yesterday—”

She turned and led the way upstairs, mounting slowly, and Janet followed, nauseated and almost overcome by the foul odours of dead cigarette smoke which, mingling with the smell of cooking cabbage rising from below, seemed the very essence and reek of hitherto unimagined evil. A terror seized her such as she had never known before, an almost overwhelming impulse to turn and regain the air and sunlight of the day. In the dark hallway of the second story the woman knocked at the door of a front room.

She turned and led the way upstairs, moving slowly, and Janet followed, feeling sick and nearly overwhelmed by the stench of stale cigarette smoke that, mixing with the smell of cooking cabbage wafting up from below, seemed to represent a kind of evil she had never imagined before. A fear gripped her like never before, creating an almost irresistible urge to turn back and get to the fresh air and sunlight outside. In the dim hallway on the second floor, the woman knocked on the door of a front room.

“She's in there, unless she's gone out.” And indeed a voice was heard petulantly demanding what was wanted—Lise's voice! Janet hesitated, her hand on the knob, her body fallen against the panels. Then, as she pushed open the door, the smell of cigarette smoke grew stronger, and she found herself in a large bedroom, the details of which were instantly photographed on her mind—the dingy claret-red walls, the crayon over the mantel of a buxom lady in a decollete costume of the '90's, the outspread fan concealing the fireplace, the soiled lace curtains. The bed was unmade, and on the table beside two empty beer bottles and glasses and the remains of a box of candy—suggestive of a Sunday purchase at a drug store—she recognized Lise's vanity case. The effect of all this, integrated at a glance, was a paralyzing horror. Janet could not speak. She remained gazing at Lise, who paid no attention to her entrance, but stood with her back turned before an old-fashioned bureau with a marble top and raised sides. She was dressed, and engaged in adjusting her hat. It was not until Janet pronounced her name that she turned swiftly.

“She's in there, unless she's stepped out.” And indeed, a voice was heard petulantly asking what was needed—Lise's voice! Janet hesitated, her hand on the doorknob, her body leaning against the door. Then, as she pushed the door open, the smell of cigarette smoke intensified, and she found herself in a large bedroom, the details instantly burned into her mind—the dingy claret-red walls, the crayon drawing above the mantel of a curvy lady in a low-cut outfit from the '90s, the fan hiding the fireplace, the dirty lace curtains. The bed was unmade, and on the table next to two empty beer bottles and glasses, along with the leftovers of a box of candy—hinting at a Sunday purchase from a drugstore—she recognized Lise's vanity case. The whole scene, taken in at a glance, filled her with paralyzing horror. Janet couldn't speak. She stood there staring at Lise, who paid no attention to her arrival, but stood with her back turned in front of an old-fashioned bureau with a marble top and raised edges. She was dressed and busy fixing her hat. It wasn't until Janet called her name that she turned around quickly.

“You!” she exclaimed. “What the—what brought you here?”

“You!” she shouted. “What the—what are you doing here?”

“Oh, Lise!” Janet repeated.

“Oh, Lise!” Janet said again.

“How did you get here?” Lise demanded, coming toward her. “Who told you where I was? What business have you got sleuthing 'round after me like this?”

“How did you get here?” Lise asked, approaching her. “Who told you where I was? What do you think you’re doing following me like this?”

For a moment Janet was speechless once more, astounded that Lise could preserve her effrontery in such an atmosphere, could be insensible to the evils lurking in this house—evils so real to Janet that she seemed actually to feel them brushing against her.

For a moment, Janet was once again speechless, amazed that Lise could maintain her boldness in such an environment, could be unaware of the dangers lurking in this house—dangers so real to Janet that she felt as if they were actually brushing against her.

“Lise, come away from here,” she pleaded, “come home with me!”

“Lise, come away from here,” she urged, “come home with me!”

“Home!” said Lise, defiantly, and laughed. “What do you take me for? Why would I be going home when I've been trying to break away for two years? I ain't so dippy as that—not me! Go home like a good little girl and march back to the Bagatelle and ask 'em to give me another show standing behind a counter all day. Nix! No home sweet home for me! I'm all for easy street when it comes to a home like that.”

“Home!” Lise said defiantly, laughing. “What do you think I am? Why would I go home after trying to break free for two years? I'm not that clueless—definitely not! Go home like a good little girl and march back to the Bagatelle, asking them to give me another gig standing behind a counter all day? No way! No home sweet home for me! I'm all about easy living when it comes to a place like that.”

Heartless, terrific as the repudiation was, it struck a self-convicting, almost sympathetic note in Janet. She herself had revolted against the monotony and sordidness of that existence She herself! She dared not complete the thought, now.

Heartless and terrible as the rejection was, it hit a self-incriminating, almost sympathetic chord in Janet. She had rebelled against the boredom and ugliness of that life. She herself! She didn't dare finish the thought now.

“But this!” she exclaimed.

“But this!” she said.

“What's the matter with it?” Lise demanded. “It ain't Commonwealth Avenue, but it's got Fillmore Street beat a mile. There ain't no whistles hereto get you out of bed at six a.m., for one thing. There ain't no geezers, like Walters, to nag you 'round all day long. What's the matter with it?”

“What’s wrong with it?” Lise asked. “It’s not Commonwealth Avenue, but it’s way better than Fillmore Street. For one thing, there aren’t any whistles here to drag you out of bed at six a.m. And there aren’t any old guys, like Walters, bothering you all day long. What’s wrong with it?”

Something in Lise's voice roused Janet's spirit to battle.

Something in Lise's voice stirred Janet's fighting spirit.

“What's the matter with it?” she cried. “It's hell—that's the matter with it. Can't you see it? Can't you feel it? You don't know what it means, or you'd come home with me.”

“What's wrong with it?” she shouted. “It's a nightmare—that's what's wrong with it. Can't you see it? Can't you feel it? You don’t understand what it means, or you'd come home with me.”

“I guess I know what it means as well as you do,” said Lise, sullenly. “We've all got to croak sometime, and I'd rather croak this way than be smothered up in Hampton. I'll get a run for my money, anyway.”

“I guess I get what it means just as much as you do,” Lise said, sulkily. “We all have to kick the bucket eventually, and I’d rather go this way than be trapped in Hampton. At least I’ll get a chance to really live, anyway.”

“No, you don't know what it means,” Janet repeated, “or you wouldn't talk like that. Do you think this man will support you, stick to you? He won't, he'll desert you, and you'll have to go on the streets.”

“No, you don't know what it means,” Janet repeated, “or you wouldn't talk like that. Do you think this guy will support you, stay by your side? He won't, he'll abandon you, and you'll end up on the streets.”

A dangerous light grew in Lise's eyes.

A dangerous glint appeared in Lise's eyes.

“He's as good as any other man, he's as good as Ditmar,” she said. “They're all the same, to girls like us.”

“He's just as good as any other guy, he's just as good as Ditmar,” she said. “They're all the same to girls like us.”

Janet's heart caught, it seemed to stop beating. Was this a hazard on Lise's part, or did she speak from knowledge? And yet what did it matter whether Lise knew or only suspected, if her words were true, if men were all alike? Had she been a dupe as well as Lise? and was the only difference between them now the fact that Lise was able, without illusion, to see things as they were, to accept the consequences, while she, Janet, had beheld visions and dreamed dreams? was there any real choice between the luxurious hotel to which Ditmar had taken her and this detestable house? Suddenly, seemingly by chance, her eyes fell on the box of drug-store candy from which the cheap red ribbon had been torn, and by some odd association of ideas it suggested and epitomized Lise's Sunday excursion with a mama hideous travesty on the journey of wonders she herself had taken. Had that been heaven, and this of Lise's, hell?... And was. Lise's ambition to be supported in idleness and luxury to be condemned because she had believed her own to be higher? Did not both lead to destruction? The weight that had lain on her breast since the siren had awakened her that morning and she had reached out and touched the chilled, empty sheets now grew almost unsupportable.

Janet's heart skipped a beat; it felt like it stopped. Was Lise being reckless, or did she actually know something? But does it even matter if Lise knew or just guessed, if what she said was true—that all men are the same? Had she been fooled like Lise? Was the only difference between them now that Lise could see reality without delusions and accept the consequences, while Janet had been lost in fantasies and dreams? Was there really any choice between the fancy hotel Ditmar had taken her to and this awful house? Suddenly, by some twist of fate, her eyes landed on a box of drugstore candy, its cheap red ribbon torn off. For some strange reason, it reminded her of Lise's Sunday outing with a grotesque version of the wonder-filled journey she had experienced. Had that been paradise, and was Lise's experience hell? And was Lise's desire to be pampered in comfort and luxury wrong just because she thought hers was better? Didn't both paths lead to ruin? The weight that had been pressing on her chest since the siren had woken her that morning, when she reached out and touched the cold, empty sheets, was now almost unbearable.

“It's true,” said Janet, “all men are the same.”

“It's true,” said Janet, “all guys are the same.”

Lise was staring at her.

Lise was looking at her.

“My God!” she exclaimed. “You?”

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed. “You?”

“Yes-me,” cried Janet.—“And what are you going to do about it? Stay here with him in this filthy place until he gets tired of you and throws you out on the street? Before I'd let any man do that to me I'd kill him.”

“Yeah, me,” Janet shouted. “What are you going to do about it? Stay here with him in this disgusting place until he gets bored with you and kicks you out onto the street? I’d rather kill him than let any man treat me that way.”

Lise began to whimper, and suddenly buried her face in the pillow. But a new emotion had begun to take possession of Janet—an emotion so strong as to give her an unlookedfor sense of detachment. And the words Lise had spoken between her sobs at first conveyed no meaning.

Lise started to whimper and suddenly buried her face in the pillow. But a new feeling began to take over Janet—one so intense that it gave her an unexpected sense of detachment. The words Lise had spoken through her tears initially made no sense.

“I'm going to have a baby....”

“I'm going to have a baby....”

Lise was going to have a child! Why hadn't she guessed it? A child! Perhaps she, Janet, would have a child! This enlightenment as to Lise's condition and the possibility it suggested in regard to herself brought with it an overwhelming sympathy which at first she fiercely resented then yielded to. The bond between them, instead of snapping, had inexplicably strengthened. And Lise, despite her degradation, was more than ever her sister! Forgetting her repugnance to the bed, Janet sat down beside Lise and put an arm around her.

Lise was going to have a baby! Why hadn’t she seen it coming? A baby! Maybe she, Janet, could have a baby too! This sudden realization about Lise's situation and what it meant for her own life filled her with a deep sympathy that she initially resisted but then accepted. The connection between them, instead of breaking, had somehow grown stronger. And Lise, despite everything she was going through, felt more like her sister than ever! Overlooking her dislike of the bed, Janet sat down beside Lise and wrapped an arm around her.

“He said he'd marry me, he swore he was rich—and he was a spender all right. And then some guy came up to me one night at Gruber's and told me he was married already.”

“He said he’d marry me, he promised he was wealthy—and he really loved to spend. Then one night at Gruber’s, some guy approached me and told me he was already married.”

“What?” Janet exclaimed.

“What?” Janet said.

“Sure! He's got a wife and two kids here in Boston. That was a twenty-one round knockout! Maybe I didn't have something to tell him when he blew into Hampton last Friday! But he said he couldn't help it—he loved me.” Lise sat up, seemingly finding relief in the relation of her wrongs, dabbing her eyes with a cheap lace handkerchief. “Well, while he'd been away—this thing came. I didn't know what was the matter at first, and when I found out I was scared to death, I was ready to kill myself. When I told him he was scared too, and then he said he'd fix it. Say, I was a goat to think he'd marry me!” Lise laughed hysterically.

“Sure! He’s got a wife and two kids here in Boston. That was a twenty-one round knockout! Maybe I didn’t have anything to tell him when he showed up in Hampton last Friday! But he said he couldn’t help it—he loved me.” Lise sat up, seemingly finding relief in sharing her troubles, dabbing her eyes with a cheap lace handkerchief. “Well, while he was away—this happened. I didn’t know what was wrong at first, and when I found out I was scared to death, I felt like ending it all. When I told him, he was scared too, and then he said he’d take care of it. I was such a fool to think he’d marry me!” Lise laughed hysterically.

“And then—” Janet spoke with difficulty, “and then you came down here?”

“And then—” Janet said with difficulty, “and then you came down here?”

“I told him he'd have to see me through, I'd start something if he didn't. Say, he almost got down on his knees, right there in Gruber's! But he came back inside of ten seconds—he's a jollier, for sure, he was right there with the goods, it was because he loved me, he couldn't help himself, I was his cutie, and all that kind of baby talk.”

“I told him he’d have to stick with me; I’d start something if he didn’t. Seriously, he almost got down on his knees, right there in Gruber’s! But he bounced back in ten seconds—he’s definitely a charmer, he was right there with the goods, it was because he loved me, he couldn’t help it, I was his sweetheart, and all that kind of sweet talk.”

Lise's objective manner of speaking about her seducer amazed Janet.

Lise's calm way of talking about her seducer surprised Janet.

“Do you love him?” she asked.

“Do you love him?” she asked.

“Say, what is love?” Lise demanded. “Do you ever run into it outside of the movies? Do I love him? Well, he's a good looker and a fancy dresser, he ain't a tight wad, and he can start a laugh every minute. If he hadn't put it over on me I wouldn't have been so sore. I don't know he ain't so bad. He's weak, that's the trouble with him.”

“Hey, what’s love?” Lise asked. “Do you ever encounter it outside of movies? Do I love him? Well, he’s good-looking and stylish, he’s not cheap, and he can make me laugh all the time. If he hadn't lied to me, I wouldn't have been so frustrated. I don’t know, he’s not that bad. He’s just weak, that’s the issue with him.”

This was the climax! Lise's mental processes, her tendency to pass from wild despair to impersonal comment, her inability, her courtesan's temperament that prevented her from realizing tragedy for more than a moment at a time—even though the tragedy were her own—were incomprehensible to Janet.

This was the peak moment! Lise's thought processes, her habit of shifting from intense despair to detached commentary, her limitations, her courtesan's nature that made it hard for her to grasp tragedy for longer than a moment—even when that tragedy was her own—were beyond Janet's understanding.

“Get on to this,” Lise adjured her. “When I first was acquainted with him he handed me a fairy tale that he was taking five thousand a year from Humphrey and Gillmount, he was going into the firm. He had me razzle-dazzled. He's some hypnotizes as a salesman, too, they say. Nothing was too good for me; I saw myself with a house on the avenue shopping in a limousine. Well, he blew up, but I can't help liking him.”

“Listen to this,” Lise urged her. “When I first met him, he told me a story about how he was making five thousand a year from Humphrey and Gillmount, and that he was joining the firm. He really dazzled me. They say he’s quite the smooth-talker as a salesman too. Nothing seemed too good for me; I imagined myself living in a house on the avenue and shopping in a limousine. Well, he fell apart, but I can't help but like him.”

“Liking him!” cried Janet passionately. “I'd kill him that's what I'd do.”

“Liking him!” Janet exclaimed passionately. “I'd kill him, that’s what I’d do.”

Lise regarded her with unwilling admiration.

Lise looked at her with reluctant admiration.

“That's where you and me is different,” she declared. “I wish I was like that, but I ain't. And where would I come in? Now you're wise why I can't go back to Hampton. Even if I was stuck on the burg and cryin' my eyes out for the Bagatelle I couldn't go back.”

“That's where you and I are different,” she said. “I wish I was like that, but I’m not. And where do I fit in? Now you understand why I can't go back to Hampton. Even if I was stuck in the town and crying my eyes out for the Bagatelle, I couldn't go back.”

“What are you going to do?” Janet demanded.

“What are you going to do?” Janet asked.

“Well,” said Lise, “he's come across—I'll say that for him. Maybe it's because he's scared, but he's stuck on me, too. When you dropped in I was just going down town to get a pair of patent leathers, these are all wore out,” she explained, twisting her foot, “they ain't fit for Boston. And I thought of lookin' at blouses—there's a sale on I was reading about in the paper. Say, it's great to be on easy street, to be able to stay in bed until you're good and ready to get up and go shopping, to gaze at the girls behind the counter and ask the price of things. I'm going to Walling's and give the salesladies the ha-ha—that's what I'm going to do.”

“Well,” Lise said, “he’s really come through—I’ll give him that. Maybe it’s because he’s scared, but he’s into me, too. When you showed up, I was just about to head downtown to get a pair of patent leather shoes; these are completely worn out,” she explained, twisting her foot, “they're not good enough for Boston. I was also thinking about checking out blouses—there's a sale I read about in the paper. You know, it’s amazing to be living the good life, to be able to stay in bed until I feel like getting up and going shopping, to look at the girls behind the counter and ask how much things cost. I’m heading to Walling’s and giving the salesladies a hard time—that's what I’m going to do.”

“But—?” Janet found words inadequate.

“But—?” Janet felt speechless.

Lise understood her.

Lise got her.

“Oh, I'm due at the doctor's this afternoon.”

“Oh, I have an appointment at the doctor’s this afternoon.”

“Where?”

“Where at?”

“The doctor's. Don't you get me?—it's a private hospital.” Lise gave a slight shudder at the word, but instantly recovered her sang-froid. “Howard fixed it up yesterday—and they say it ain't very bad if you take it early.”

“The doctor's. Don't you understand?—it's a private hospital.” Lise shuddered slightly at the word but quickly regained her composure. “Howard arranged it yesterday—and they say it’s not too bad if you catch it early.”

For a space Janet was too profoundly shocked to reply.

For a moment, Janet was too shocked to respond.

“Lise! That's a crime!” she cried.

“Lise! That’s against the law!” she exclaimed.

“Crime, nothing!” retorted Lise, and immediately became indignant. “Say, I sometimes wonder how you could have lived all these years without catching on to a few things! What do you take me for! What'd I do with a baby?”

“Crime, please!” Lise shot back, her indignation flaring up. “Honestly, I sometimes wonder how you’ve managed to get by all these years without picking up on a few things! What do you think I am? What would I do with a baby?”

What indeed! The thought came like an avalanche, stripping away the veneer of beauty from the face of the world, revealing the scarred rock and crushed soil beneath. This was reality! What right had society to compel a child to be born to degradation and prostitution? to beget, perhaps, other children of suffering? Were not she and Lise of the exploited, of those duped and tempted by the fair things the more fortunate enjoyed unscathed? And now, for their natural cravings, their family must be disgraced, they must pay the penalty of outcasts! Neither Lise nor she had had a chance. She saw that, now. The scorching revelation of life's injustice lighted within her the fires of anarchy and revenge. Lise, other women might submit tamely to be crushed, might be lulled and drugged by bribes: she would not. A wild desire seized her to get back to Hampton.

What indeed! The thought hit her like a flood, tearing away the facade of beauty from the world, exposing the scarred rock and broken soil underneath. This was reality! What right did society have to force a child to be born into degradation and prostitution? To possibly bring more suffering children into the world? Were she and Lise not among the exploited, among those deceived and tempted by the nice things that the more fortunate enjoyed without a care? And now, for their basic needs, their family had to face disgrace, they had to bear the punishment of outcasts! Neither Lise nor she had been given a chance. She realized that now. The harsh truth of life's unfairness ignited a fire of rebellion and revenge within her. Lise, other women might passively accept being crushed, might be soothed and numbed by bribes: she would not. A fierce urge surged in her to return to Hampton.

“Give me the address of the hospital,” she said.

“Give me the address of the hospital,” she said.

“Come off!” cried Lise, in angry bravado. “Do you think I'm going to let you butt into this? I guess you've got enough to do to look out for your own business.”

“Back off!” shouted Lise, in a fit of angry bravado. “Do you really think I'm going to let you interfere with this? I assume you have enough to deal with taking care of your own problems.”

Janet produced a pencil from her bag, and going to the table tore off a piece of the paper in which had been wrapped the candy box.

Janet took a pencil out of her bag and went to the table, tearing off a piece of the paper that had wrapped the candy box.

“Give me the address,” she insisted.

“Give me the address,” she demanded.

“Say, what are you going to do?”

“Hey, what are you going to do?”

“I want to know where you are, in case anything happens to you.”

“I want to know where you are, just in case something happens to you.”

“Anything happens! What do you mean?” Janet's words had frightened Lise, the withdrawal of Janet's opposition bewildered her. But above all, she was cowed by the sudden change in Janet herself, by the attitude of steely determination eloquent of an animus persons of Lise's type are incapable of feeling, and which to them is therefore incomprehensible. “Nothing's going to happen to me,” she whined. “The place is all right—he'd be scared to send me there if it wasn't. It costs something, too. Say, you ain't going to tell 'em at home?” she cried with a fresh access of alarm.

“Anything can happen! What do you mean?” Janet's words scared Lise, and the sudden absence of Janet's opposition confused her. But more than anything, she was intimidated by the abrupt shift in Janet herself, by the attitude of steely determination that people like Lise simply couldn't understand, which made it all the more baffling. “Nothing's going to happen to me,” she whined. “The place is fine—he'd be too scared to send me there if it wasn't. It costs something, too. Please, you’re not going to tell anyone at home, are you?” she exclaimed, panic rising again.

“If you do as I say, I won't tell anybody,” Janet replied, in that odd, impersonal tone her voice had acquired. “You must write me as soon—as soon as it is over. Do you understand?”

“If you do what I say, I won’t tell anyone,” Janet replied in that strange, detached tone her voice had taken on. “You need to write to me as soon—as soon as it’s over. Do you get it?”

“Honest to God I will,” Lise assured her.

“Honestly, I will,” Lise assured her.

“And you mustn't come back to a house like this.”

“And you shouldn't return to a house like this.”

“Where'll I go?” Lise asked.

"Where am I going?" Lise asked.

“I don't know. We'll find out when the time comes,” said Janet, significantly.

“I don’t know. We’ll find out when the time comes,” said Janet, significantly.

“You've seen him!” Lise exclaimed.

“You've seen him!” Lise said.

“No,” said Janet, “and I don't want to see him unless I have to. Mr. Tiernan has seen him. Mr. Tiernan is downstairs now, waiting for me.”

“No,” said Janet, “and I don't want to see him unless I have to. Mr. Tiernan has seen him. Mr. Tiernan is downstairs now, waiting for me.”

“Johnny Tiernan! Is Johnny Tiernan downstairs?”

"Hey, is Johnny Tiernan downstairs?"

Janet wrote the address, and thrust the slip of paper in her bag.

Janet wrote down the address and shoved the slip of paper into her bag.

“Good-bye, Lise,” she said. “I'll come down again I'll come down whenever you want me.” Lise suddenly seized her and clung to her, sobbing. For a while Janet submitted, and then, kissing her, gently detached herself. She felt, indeed, pity for Lise, but something within her seemed to have hardened—something that pity could not melt, possessing her and thrusting heron to action. She knew not what action. So strong was this thing that it overcame and drove off the evil spirits of that darkened house as she descended the stairs to join Mr. Tiernan, who opened the door for her to pass out. Once in the street, she breathed deeply of the sunlit air. Nor did she observe Mr. Tiernan's glance of comprehension.... When they arrived at the North Station he said:—“You'll be wanting a bite of dinner, Miss Janet,” and as she shook her head he did not press her to eat. He told her that a train for Hampton left in ten minutes. “I think I'll stay in Boston the rest of the day, as long as I'm here,” he added.

“Goodbye, Lise,” she said. “I'll come down again. I'll come down whenever you want me.” Lise suddenly grabbed her and held on, crying. For a moment, Janet went along with it, but then, after kissing her, she gently pulled away. She did feel sorry for Lise, but something inside her felt like it had hardened—something that pity couldn't change, pushing her toward action. She wasn’t sure what action to take. This feeling was so strong that it banished the dark thoughts of that somber house as she went down the stairs to join Mr. Tiernan, who opened the door for her to leave. Once outside, she took a deep breath of the sunny air. She didn't notice Mr. Tiernan watching her knowingly... When they reached North Station, he said, “You’ll want something to eat, Miss Janet,” and when she shook her head, he didn’t insist. He informed her that a train to Hampton would leave in ten minutes. “I think I’ll stay in Boston the rest of the day, while I’m here,” he added.

She remembered that she had not thanked him, she took his hand, but he cut her short.

She realized she hadn’t thanked him, so she took his hand, but he interrupted her.

“It's glad I was to help you,” he assured her. “And if there's anything more I can do, Miss Janet, you'll be letting me know—you'll call on Johnny Tiernan, won't you?”

“I'm really glad I could help you,” he told her. “And if there's anything else I can do, Miss Janet, just let me know—you'll reach out to Johnny Tiernan, right?”

He left her at the gate. He had intruded with no advice, he had offered no comment that she had come downstairs alone, without Lise. His confidence in her seemed never to have wavered. He had respected, perhaps partly imagined her feelings, and in spite of these now a sense of gratitude to him stole over her, mitigating the intensity of their bitterness. Mr. Tiernan alone seemed stable in a chaotic world. He was a man.

He left her at the gate. He had barged in without any warning, and he didn't say anything about her coming downstairs alone, without Lise. His confidence in her never seemed to fade. He had respected, maybe even partly imagined, her feelings, and despite everything, she felt a wave of gratitude towards him, softening the bitterness they shared. Mr. Tiernan alone seemed steady in a chaotic world. He was a man.

No sooner was she in the train, however, than she forgot Mr. Tiernan utterly. Up to the present the mental process of dwelling upon her own experience of the last three months had been unbearable, but now she was able to take a fearful satisfaction in the evolving of parallels between her case and Lise's. Despite the fact that the memories she had cherished were now become hideous things, she sought to drag them forth and compare them, ruthlessly, with what must have been the treasures of Lise. Were her own any less tawdry? Only she, Janet, had been the greater fool of the two, the greater dupe because she had allowed herself to dream, to believe that what she had done had been for love, for light! because she had not listened to the warning voice within her! It had always been on the little, unpremeditated acts of Ditmar that she had loved to linger, and now, in the light of Lise's testimony, of Lise's experience, she saw them all as false. It seemed incredible, now, that she had ever deceived herself into thinking that Ditmar meant to marry her, that he loved her enough to make her his wife. Nor was it necessary to summon and marshal incidents to support this view, they came of themselves, crowding one another, a cumulative and appalling array of evidence, before which she stood bitterly amazed at her former stupidity. And in the events of yesterday, which she pitilessly reviewed, she beheld a deliberate and prearranged plan for her betrayal. Had he not telephoned to Boston for the rooms, rehearsed in his own mind every detail of what had subsequently happened? Was there any essential difference between the methods of Ditmar and Duval? Both were skilled in the same art, and Ditmar was the cleverer of the two. It had only needed her meeting with Lise, in that house, to reveal how he had betrayed her faith and her love, sullied and besmirched them. And then came the odd reflection,—how strange that that same Sunday had been so fateful for herself and Lise!

No sooner was she on the train than she completely forgot about Mr. Tiernan. Until now, thinking about her experiences from the last three months had been unbearable, but now she could find a twisted satisfaction in drawing parallels between her situation and Lise's. Even though the memories she had once cherished had become hideous, she was determined to bring them out and compare them, ruthlessly, with what must have been Lise's treasures. Were her own any less cheap? The truth was, Janet had been the bigger fool, the bigger victim because she had let herself dream and believe that what she had done was for love, for something bright! because she had ignored the warning voice inside her! She had always savored the little, spontaneous acts of Ditmar, but now, in light of Lise’s testimony and experience, she saw them all as false. It seemed unbelievable now that she had ever fooled herself into thinking Ditmar intended to marry her, that he loved her enough to make her his wife. It wasn't even necessary to recall specific incidents to support this realization; they flooded her mind on their own, a piling, shocking array of evidence that left her bitterly astonished at her past foolishness. And in reviewing the events of yesterday with brutal honesty, she saw a calculated and premeditated plan for her betrayal. Hadn't he called Boston to arrange the rooms, rehearsing every detail of what had happened next in his mind? Was there really any essential difference between Ditmar and Duval's methods? Both were skilled in the same game, with Ditmar being the sharper of the two. It took only her meeting with Lise in that house to expose how he had betrayed her trust and love, tarnishing them. Then came the strange thought—how weird that the same Sunday had been so significant for both her and Lise!

The agony of these thoughts was mitigated by the scorching hatred that had replaced her love, the desire for retaliation, revenge. Occasionally, however, that stream of consciousness was broken by the recollection of what she had permitted and even advised her sister to do; and though the idea of the place to which Lise was going sickened her, though she achieved a certain objective amazement at the transformation in herself enabling her to endorse such a course, she was glad of having endorsed it, she rejoiced that Lise's child would not be born into a world that had seemed—so falsely—fair and sweet, and in reality was black and detestable. Her acceptance of the act—for Lise—was a function of the hatred consuming her, a hatred which, growing in bigness, had made Ditmar merely the personification of that world. From time to time her hands clenched, her brow furrowed, powerful waves of heat ran through her, the craving for action became so intense she could scarcely refrain from rising in her seat.

The pain of these thoughts was softened by the intense hatred that had taken the place of her love, the urge for revenge. However, occasionally, this flow of thoughts was interrupted by the memory of what she had allowed and even encouraged her sister to do; and even though the idea of where Lise was going made her sick, and she felt a strange amazement at the change in herself that allowed her to support such a decision, she was glad she had done so. She was relieved that Lise's child wouldn't be born into a world that had seemed—so wrongly—nice and pleasant, but was actually dark and terrible. Her acceptance of the act—for Lise—was fueled by the hatred consuming her, a hatred which, growing larger, made Ditmar simply a representation of that world. From time to time, her hands clenched, her brow furrowed, waves of heat surged through her, and the desire to take action became so strong that she could barely stop herself from getting up from her seat.

By some odd whim of the weather the wind had backed around into the east, gathering the clouds once more. The brilliancy of the morning had given place to greyness, the high slits of windows seemed dirtier than ever as the train pulled into the station at Hampton, shrouded in Gothic gloom. As she left the car Janet was aware of the presence on the platform of an unusual number of people; she wondered vaguely, as she pushed her way through them, why they were there, what they were talking about? One determination possessed her, to go to the Chippering Mill, to Ditmar. Emerging from the street, she began to walk rapidly, the change from inaction to exercise bringing a certain relief, starting the working of her mind, arousing in her a realization of the necessity of being prepared for the meeting. Therefore, instead of turning at Faber Street, she crossed it. But at the corner of the Common she halted, her glance drawn by a dark mass of people filling the end of Hawthorne Street, where it was blocked by the brick-coloured facade of the Clarendon Mill. In the middle distance men and boys were running to join this crowd. A girl, evidently an Irish-American mill hand of the higher paid sort, hurried toward her from the direction of the mill itself. Janet accosted her.

By some strange twist of the weather, the wind had shifted to the east, bringing the clouds back. The bright morning had turned to gray, and the tall windows looked dirtier than ever as the train pulled into the station at Hampton, enveloped in a gloomy atmosphere. As she left the train, Janet noticed an unusually large crowd on the platform. She vaguely wondered why they were there and what they were discussing as she pushed through them. One thing was clear to her: she needed to get to the Chippering Mill, to Ditmar. Stepping onto the street, she began to walk quickly, feeling a sense of relief from the shift from inactivity to movement, which sparked her mind and reminded her of the need to be ready for the meeting. So, instead of turning at Faber Street, she crossed it. But at the corner of the Common, she stopped, her gaze caught by a dark mass of people filling the end of Hawthorne Street, blocked by the brick-colored facade of the Clarendon Mill. In the distance, men and boys were running to join that crowd. A girl, clearly an Irish-American mill worker of the higher-paid type, rushed toward her from the direction of the mill. Janet approached her.

“It's the strike,” she explained excitedly, evidently surprised at the question. “The Polaks and the Dagoes and a lot of other foreigners quit when they got their envelopes—stopped their looms and started through the mill, and when they came into our room I left. I didn't want no trouble with 'em. It's the fifty-four hour law—their pay's cut two hours. You've heard about it, I guess.”

“It's the strike,” she explained excitedly, clearly surprised by the question. “The Polish workers, the Italians, and a bunch of other foreigners stopped working when they got their notices—shut down their looms and walked through the mill, and when they came into our room, I left. I didn't want any trouble with them. It's the fifty-four hour law—their pay is cut by two hours. You've heard about it, I guess.”

Janet nodded.

Janet agreed.

“They had a big mass meeting last night in Maxwell Hall,” the girl continued, “the foreigners—not the skilled workers. And they voted to strike. They tell me they're walking out over at the Patuxent, too.”

“They had a huge rally last night in Maxwell Hall,” the girl continued, “the immigrants—not the skilled workers. And they voted to go on strike. I heard they're walking out at the Patuxent, too.”

“And the Chippering?” asked Janet, eagerly.

“And the Chippering?” asked Janet, excitedly.

“I don't know—I guess it'll spread to all of 'em, the way these foreigners are going on—they're crazy. But say,” the girl added, “it ain't right to cut our pay, either, is it? They never done it two years ago when the law came down to fifty-six.”

“I don’t know—I guess it’ll spread to all of them, the way these foreigners are acting—they’re insane. But hey,” the girl added, “it’s not fair to cut our pay, right? They didn’t do it two years ago when the law changed to fifty-six.”

Janet did not wait to reply. While listening to this explanation, excitement had been growing in her again, and some fearful, overpowering force of attraction emanating from that swarm in the distance drew her until she yielded, fairly running past the rows of Italian tenements in their strange setting of snow, not to pause until she reached the fruit shop where she and Eda had eaten the olives. Now she was on the outskirts of the crowd that packed itself against the gates of the Clarendon. It spread over the width of East Street, growing larger every minute, until presently she was hemmed in. Here and there hoarse shouts of approval and cheers arose in response to invisible orators haranging their audiences in weird, foreign tongues; tiny American flags were waved; and suddenly, in one of those unforeseen and incomprehensible movements to which mobs are subject, a trolley car standing at the end of the Hawthorne Street track was surrounded, the desperate clanging of its bell keeping pace with the beating of Janet's heart. A dark Sicilian, holding aloft the green, red, and white flag of Italy, leaped on the rear platform and began to speak, the Slav conductor regarding him stupidly, pulling the bellcord the while. Three or four policemen fought their way to the spot, striving to clear the tracks, bewildered and impotent in the face of the alien horde momentarily growing more and more conscious of power.

Janet didn’t wait to respond. While listening to this explanation, excitement was building up in her again, and some overwhelming, fearful force of attraction from the crowd in the distance pulled her in until she couldn’t resist, practically running past the rows of Italian tenements set against the strange backdrop of snow, not stopping until she reached the fruit shop where she and Eda had eaten olives. Now she was on the edge of the crowd that was packed against the gates of the Clarendon. It spread across East Street, getting bigger every minute, until she was surrounded. Here and there, loud shouts of approval and cheers erupted in response to unseen speakers addressing their audiences in strange, foreign languages; tiny American flags were waved; and suddenly, in one of those unexpected and confusing movements that mobs often fall into, a trolley car parked at the end of the Hawthorne Street track was surrounded, its bell ringing desperately in sync with the pounding of Janet’s heart. A dark-skinned Sicilian raised the green, red, and white flag of Italy on the back platform and started to speak, while the confused Slav conductor pulled the bell cord. Three or four policemen pushed their way to the scene, trying to clear the tracks, bewildered and powerless in the face of the growing, energizing crowd.

Janet pushed her way deeper and deeper into the crowd. She wanted to savour to the full its wrath and danger, to surrender herself to be played upon by these sallow, stubby-bearded exhorters, whose menacing tones and passionate gestures made a grateful appeal, whose wild, musical words, just because they were uncomprehended, aroused in her dim suggestions of a race-experience not her own, but in which she was now somehow summoned to share. That these were the intruders whom she, as a native American, had once resented and despised did not occur to her. The racial sense so strong in her was drowned in a sense of fellowship. Their anger seemed to embody and express, as nothing else could have done, the revolt that had been rising, rising within her soul; and the babel to which she listened was not a confusion of tongues, but one voice lifted up to proclaim the wrongs of all the duped, of all the exploited and oppressed. She was fused with them, their cause was her cause, their betrayers her betrayers.

Janet pushed her way further into the crowd. She wanted to fully experience its anger and danger, to lose herself to the influence of these pale, short-bearded speakers, whose threatening voices and passionate gestures made a compelling appeal, whose wild, musical words, just because she couldn’t understand them, stirred in her a vague sense of a life experience that wasn’t hers, but that she was now somehow compelled to share. She didn’t realize that these were the intruders she had once resented and despised as a native American. The strong racial feelings she had were drowned in a sense of solidarity. Their anger seemed to capture and express, like nothing else could, the uprising that had been building within her soul; and the chaotic voices she was listening to were not a jumble of languages, but one voice raised to highlight the wrongs of all the deceived, of all the exploited and oppressed. She felt connected to them, their struggle was her struggle, their betrayers were her betrayers.

Suddenly was heard the cry for which she had been tensely but unconsciously awaiting. Another cry like that had rung out in another mob across the seas more than a century before. “Ala Bastille!” became “To the Chippering!” Some man shouted it out in shrill English, hundreds repeated it; the Sicilian leaped from the trolley car, and his path could be followed by the agitated progress of the alien banner he bore. “To the Chippering!” It rang in Janet's ears like a call to battle. Was she shouting it, too? A galvanic thrill ran through the crowd, an impulse that turned their faces and started their steps down East Street toward the canal, and Janet was irresistibly carried along. Nay, it seemed as if the force that second by second gained momentum was in her, that she herself had released and was guiding it! Her feet were wet as she ploughed through the trampled snow, but she gave no thought to that. The odour of humanity was in her nostrils. On the left a gaunt Jew pressed against her, on the right a solid Ruthenian woman, one hand clasping her shawl, the other holding aloft a miniature emblem of New World liberty. Her eyes were fixed on the grey skies, and from time to time her lips were parted in some strange, ancestral chant that could be heard above the shouting. All about Janet were dark, awakening faces....

Suddenly, she heard the cry she had been anxiously but unconsciously waiting for. Another similar cry had echoed from another crowd across the ocean more than a century ago. “Ala Bastille!” turned into “To the Chippering!” A man shouted it in a high-pitched English, and hundreds repeated it; the Sicilian jumped off the trolley car, and the chaotic movement of the foreign flag he carried followed his path. “To the Chippering!” It rang in Janet's ears like a call to arms. Was she shouting it, too? A thrilling energy surged through the crowd, an impulse that turned their faces and set their feet moving down East Street toward the canal, and Janet was swept along. No, it felt like the force that was gaining speed with each passing second was inside her, that she was the one who had unleashed it and was guiding it! Her feet were wet as she walked through the crushed snow, but she didn’t think about that. The smell of people surrounded her. On her left, a thin Jewish man pressed against her, and on her right, a sturdy Ruthenian woman, one hand clutching her shawl, the other holding up a small symbol of New World freedom. Her eyes were locked on the grey sky, and occasionally her lips parted to sing some strange, ancestral chant that rose above the noise. All around Janet were dark, awakening faces....

It chanced that an American, a college graduate, stood gazing down from a point of vantage upon this scene. He was ignorant of anthropology, psychology, and the phenomena of environment; but bits of “knowledge”—which he embodied in a newspaper article composed that evening stuck wax-like in his brain. Not thus, he deplored, was the Anglo-Saxon wont to conduct his rebellions. These Czechs and Slavs, Hebrews and Latins and Huns might have appropriately been clad in the skins worn by the hordes of Attila. Had they not been drawn hither by the renown of the Republic's wealth? And how essentially did they differ from those other barbarians before whose bewildered, lustful gaze had risen the glittering palaces on the hills of the Tiber? The spoils of Rome! The spoils of America! They appeared to him ferocious, atavistic beasts as they broke into the lumberyard beneath his window to tear the cord-wood from the piles and rush out again, armed with billets....

It so happened that an American, a college graduate, stood looking down from a high point at this scene. He knew nothing about anthropology, psychology, or the effects of the environment; however, snippets of “knowledge”—which he turned into a newspaper article that evening—stuck in his mind. This, he lamented, was not how the Anglo-Saxon typically carried out his rebellions. These Czechs and Slavs, Jews and Latins and Huns might as well have been dressed in the hides worn by Attila's hordes. Hadn't they come here drawn by the Republic's wealth? And how were they really any different from those other barbarians whose amazed, greedy eyes had witnessed the shining palaces on the hills of the Tiber? The spoils of Rome! The spoils of America! To him, they looked like savage, primitive animals as they rushed into the lumberyard below his window to grab the firewood from the stacks and dart away again, carrying their logs....

Janet, in the main stream sweeping irresistibly down the middle of the street, was carried beyond the lumberyard into the narrow roadway beside the canal—presently to find herself packed in the congested mass in front of the bridge that led to the gates of the Chippering Mill. Across the water, above the angry hum of human voices could be heard the whirring of the looms, rousing the mob to a higher pitch of fury. The halt was for a moment only. The bridge rocked beneath the weight of their charge, they battered at the great gates, they ran along the snow-filled tracks by the wall of the mill. Some, in a frenzy of passion, hurled their logs against the windows; others paused, seemingly to measure the distance and force of the stroke, thus lending to their act a more terrible and deliberate significance. A shout of triumph announced that the gates, like a broken dam, had given way, and the torrent poured in between the posts, flooding the yard, pressing up the towered stairways and spreading through the compartments of the mill. More ominous than the tumult seemed the comparative silence that followed this absorption of the angry spirits of the mob. Little by little, as the power was shut off, the antiphonal throbbing of the looms was stilled. Pinioned against the parapet above the canal—almost on that very spot where, the first evening, she had met Ditmar—Janet awaited her chance to cross. Every crashing window, every resounding blow on the panels gave her a fierce throb of joy. She had not expected the gates to yield—her father must have insecurely fastened them. Gaining the farther side of the canal, she perceived him flattened against the wall of the gatehouse shaking his fist in the faces of the intruders, who rushed past him unheeding. His look arrested her. His face was livid, his eyes were red with anger, he stood transformed by a passion she had not believed him to possess. She had indeed heard him give vent to a mitigated indignation against foreigners in general, but now the old-school Americanism in which he had been bred, the Americanism of individual rights, of respect for the convention of property, had suddenly sprung into flame. He was ready to fight for it, to die for it. The curses he hurled at these people sounded blasphemous in Janet's ears.

Janet, caught in the current surging down the middle of the street, was swept away past the lumberyard and into the narrow road beside the canal—soon finding herself packed in the crowded mass in front of the bridge leading to the gates of the Chippering Mill. Across the water, above the angry buzz of voices, the whirring of the looms could be heard, stirring the crowd into a higher level of fury. The stop was brief. The bridge swayed under the weight of their group as they battered against the large gates, running along the snow-filled tracks by the mill’s wall. Some, in a frenzy, hurled logs at the windows; others paused, seemingly measuring the distance and force of their blows, giving their actions a more dreadful and intentional significance. A shout of triumph announced that the gates, like a broken dam, had given way, and the flood rushed in between the posts, covering the yard, climbing the stairs, and spreading through the mill’s compartments. More ominous than the chaos was the relative silence that followed this absorption of the crowd’s anger. Gradually, as the power was cut off, the rhythmic sound of the looms quieted down. Pressed against the parapet above the canal—almost at the exact spot where she had first met Ditmar—Janet waited for her chance to cross. Every crashing window, every loud blow on the panels sent a fierce thrill of joy through her. She hadn’t expected the gates to give way—her father must have left them unsecured. Reaching the other side of the canal, she saw him pressed against the gatehouse wall, shaking his fist at the intruders who rushed past him, oblivious. His expression caught her attention. His face was pale, his eyes red with anger; he stood transformed by a passion she hadn’t thought he had. She had heard him express a mild indignation towards foreigners in general, but now the old-school American values he grew up with—the American belief in individual rights and respect for property—had suddenly flared up. He was ready to fight for it, to die for it. The curses he shouted at these people sounded blasphemous to Janet.

“Father!” she cried. “Father!”

“Dad!” she cried. “Dad!”

He looked at her uncomprehendingly, seemingly failing to recognize her.

He looked at her in confusion, not seeming to recognize her.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, seizing her and attempting to draw her to the wall beside him. But she resisted. There sprang from her lips an unpremeditated question: “Where is Mr. Ditmar?” She was, indeed, amazed at having spoken it.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, grabbing her and trying to pull her to the wall next to him. But she pushed back. An unplanned question slipped from her lips: “Where is Mr. Ditmar?” She was, in fact, surprised that she had even said it.

“I don't know,” Edward replied distractedly. “We've been looking for him everywhere. My God, to think that this should happen with me at the gates!” he lamented. “Go home, Janet. You can't tell what'll happen, what these fiends will do, you may get hurt. You've got no business here.” Catching sight of a belated and breathless policeman, he turned from her in desperation. “Get 'em out! Far God's sake, can't you get 'em out before they ruin the machines?”

“I don’t know,” Edward replied, distracted. “We’ve been searching for him everywhere. Oh my God, to think this is happening with me right at the gates!” he said, lamenting. “Go home, Janet. You don’t know what will happen, what these monsters will do; you could get hurt. You shouldn’t be here.” Spotting a late and out-of-breath police officer, he turned away from her in frustration. “Get them out! For God’s sake, can’t you get them out before they wreck the machines?”

But Janet waited no longer. Pushing her way frantically through the people filling the yard she climbed the tower stairs and made her way into one of the spinning rooms. The frames were stilled, the overseer and second hands, thrust aside, looked on helplessly while the intruders harangued, cajoled or threatened the operatives, some of whom were cowed and already departing; others, sullen and resentful, remained standing in the aisles; and still others seemed to have caught the contagion of the strike. Suddenly, with reverberating strokes, the mill bells rang out, the electric gongs chattered, the siren screeched, drowning the voices. Janet did not pause, but hurried from room to room until, in passing through an open doorway in the weaving department she ran into Mr. Caldwell. He halted a moment, in surprise at finding her there, calling her by name. She clung to his sleeve, and again she asked the question:—

But Janet didn't wait any longer. Frantically pushing her way through the crowd filling the yard, she climbed the tower stairs and entered one of the spinning rooms. The machines had stopped, and the overseer and assistants, pushed aside, watched helplessly as the intruders yelled, sweet-talked, or threatened the workers. Some were intimidated and already leaving; others, sullen and resentful, stayed in the aisles; while still others seemed to have caught the strike fever. Suddenly, the mill bells rang out with loud clangs, the electric gongs buzzed, and the siren wailed, drowning out the voices. Janet kept moving, rushing from room to room until, as she passed through an open doorway in the weaving department, she bumped into Mr. Caldwell. He paused for a moment, surprised to see her there, calling her by name. She held onto his sleeve and asked her question again:—

“Where's Mr. Ditmar?”

“Where's Mr. Ditmar?”

Caldwell shook his head. His answer was the same as Edward's. “I don't know,” he shouted excitedly above the noise. “We've got to get this mob out before they do any damage.”

Caldwell shook his head. His answer was the same as Edward's. “I don't know,” he shouted excitedly above the noise. “We've got to get this crowd out of here before they cause any damage.”

He tore himself away, she saw him expostulating with the overseer, and then she went on. These tower stairs, she remembered, led to a yard communicating by a little gate with the office entrance. The door of the vestibule was closed, but the watchman, Simmons, recognizing her, permitted her to enter. The offices were deserted, silent, for the bells and the siren had ceased their clamour; the stenographers and clerks had gone. The short day was drawing to a close, shadows were gathering in the corners of Ditmar's room as she reached the threshold and gazed about her at the objects there so poignantly familiar. She took off her coat. His desk was littered with books and papers, and she started, mechanically, to set it in order, replacing the schedule books on the shelves, sorting out the letters and putting them in the basket. She could not herself have told why she should take up again these trivial tasks as though no cataclysmic events had intervened to divide forever the world of yesterday from that of to-morrow. With a movement suggestive of tenderness she was picking up Ditmar's pen to set it in the glass rack when her ear caught the sound of voices, and she stood transfixed, listening intently. There were footsteps in the corridor, the voices came nearer; one, loud and angered, she detected above the others. It was Ditmar's! Nothing had happened to him! Dropping the pen, she went over to the window, staring out over the grey waters, trembling so violently that she could scarcely stand.

He pulled away, and she saw him arguing with the supervisor before she continued on. She remembered that these staircases led to a yard that connected to the office entrance through a small gate. The door to the entryway was closed, but the guard, Simmons, recognized her and let her in. The offices were empty and quiet, since the bells and sirens had stopped blaring; the secretaries and clerks had left. The short day was coming to an end, and shadows were creeping into Ditmar's office as she stood at the doorway, looking around at the painfully familiar items. She took off her coat. His desk was cluttered with books and papers, and she instinctively started tidying it up, putting the schedule books on the shelves, sorting the letters, and placing them in the basket. She couldn’t say why she felt the need to tackle these mundane tasks as if nothing catastrophic had happened to separate the world of yesterday from that of tomorrow. With a gesture that showed tenderness, she was picking up Ditmar's pen to put it in the glass holder when she heard voices and froze, listening closely. There were footsteps in the hallway, and the voices grew closer; one voice, loud and angry, stood out to her. It was Ditmar's! Nothing had happened to him! Dropping the pen, she rushed to the window, staring out at the grey waters, trembling so much that she could barely stand.

She did not look around when they entered the room Ditmar, Caldwell, Orcutt, and evidently a few watchmen and overseers. Some one turned on the electric switch, darkening the scene without. Ditmar continued to speak in vehement tones of uncontrolled rage.

She didn't look around when Ditmar, Caldwell, Orcutt, and a few guards and supervisors came into the room. Someone flipped the electric switch, plunging the outside scene into darkness. Ditmar kept speaking in passionate tones of unrestrained anger.

“Why in hell weren't those gates bolted tight?” he demanded. “That's what I want to know! There was plenty of time after they turned the corner of East Street. You might have guessed what they would do. But instead of that you let 'em into the mill to shut off the power and intimidate our own people.” He called the strikers an unprintable name, and though Janet stood, with her back turned, directly before him, he gave no sign of being aware of her presence.

“Why on earth weren't those gates locked?” he shouted. “That's what I want to know! There was plenty of time after they turned the corner of East Street. You could have guessed what they would do. But instead, you let them into the mill to cut off the power and intimidate our own people.” He called the strikers an offensive name, and even though Janet stood with her back to him, directly in front of him, he showed no indication that he noticed her at all.

“It wasn't the gatekeeper's fault,” she heard Orcutt reply in a tone quivering with excitement and apprehension. “They really didn't give us a chance—that's the truth. They were down Canal Street and over the bridge before we knew it.”

“It wasn't the gatekeeper's fault,” she heard Orcutt say, his voice shaking with excitement and nervousness. “They really didn't give us a chance—that's the truth. They were on Canal Street and across the bridge before we even realized it.”

“It's just as I've said a hundred times,” Ditmar retorted. “I can't afford to leave this mill a minute, I can't trust anybody—” and he broke out in another tirade against the intruders. “By God, I'll fix 'em for this—I'll crush 'em. And if any operatives try to walkout here I'll see that they starve before they get back—after all I've done for 'em, kept the mill going in slack times just to give 'em work. If they desert me now, when I've got this Bradlaugh order on my hands—” Speech became an inadequate expression of his feelings, and suddenly his eye fell on Janet. She had turned, but her look made no impression on him. “Call up the Chief of Police,” he said.

“Just like I’ve said a hundred times,” Ditmar snapped. “I can’t leave this mill for a second, I can’t trust anyone—” and he launched into another rant about the intruders. “Damn it, I’ll deal with them for this—I’ll crush them. And if any workers try to walk out of here, I’ll make sure they starve before they can come back—after everything I’ve done for them, keeping the mill running during slow times just to give them jobs. If they abandon me now, when I’ve got this Bradlaugh order to deal with—” His words fell short of expressing his feelings, and then his gaze landed on Janet. She had turned away, but her expression didn’t affect him. “Get the Chief of Police on the line,” he said.

Automatically she obeyed, getting the connection and handing him the receiver, standing by while he denounced the incompetence of the department for permitting the mob to gather in East Street and demanded deputies. The veins of his forehead were swollen as he cut short the explanations of the official and asked for the City Hall. In making an appointment with the Mayor he reflected on the management of the city government. And when Janet by his command obtained the Boston office, he gave the mill treasurer a heated account of the afternoon's occurrences, explaining circumstantially how, in his absence at a conference in the Patuxent Mill, the mob had gathered in East Street and attacked the Chippering; and he urged the treasurer to waste no time in obtaining a force of detectives, in securing in Boston and New York all the operatives that could be hired, in order to break the impending strike. Save for this untimely and unreasonable revolt he was bent on stamping out, for Ditmar the world to-day was precisely the same world it had been the day before. It seemed incredible to Janet that he could so regard it, could still be blind to the fact that these workers whom he was determined to starve and crush if they dared to upset his plans and oppose his will were human beings with wills and passions and grievances of their own. Until to-day her eyes had been sealed. In agony they had been opened to the panorama of sorrow and suffering, of passion and evil; and what she beheld now as life was a vast and terrible cruelty. She had needed only this final proof to be convinced that in his eyes she also was but one of those brought into the world to minister to his pleasure and profit. He had taken from her, as his weed, the most precious thing a woman has to give, and now that she was here again at his side, by some impulse incomprehensible to herself—in spite of the wrong he had done her!—had sought him out in danger, he had no thought of her, no word for her, no use save a menial one: he cared nothing for any help she might be able to give, he had no perception of the new light which had broken within her soul.... The telephoning seemed interminable, yet she waited with a strange patience while he talked with Mr. George Chippering and two of the most influential directors. These conversations had covered the space of an hour or more. And perhaps as a result of self-suggestion, of his repeated assurances to Mr. Semple, to Mr. Chippering, and the directors of his ability to control the situation, Ditmar's habitual self-confidence was gradually restored. And when at last he hung up the instrument and turned to her, though still furious against the strikers, his voice betrayed the joy of battle, the assurance of victory.

Automatically, she obeyed, connecting the call and handing him the receiver, standing by as he criticized the incompetence of the department for allowing the mob to gather on East Street and demanded deputies. The veins on his forehead bulged as he cut short the explanations from the official and asked for City Hall. While making an appointment with the Mayor, he reflected on how the city government was managed. When Janet, following his orders, connected him to the Boston office, he gave the mill treasurer a heated account of what had happened that afternoon, detailing how, during his absence at a conference at the Patuxent Mill, the mob had gathered on East Street and attacked the Chippering. He urged the treasurer to quickly secure a group of detectives and hire as many workers as possible from Boston and New York to prevent the looming strike. Aside from this untimely and unreasonable uprising he was determined to crush, Ditmar saw the world today as exactly the same as it had been the day before. It seemed unbelievable to Janet that he could view it this way, still blind to the reality that the workers he was intent on starving and suppressing were human beings with their own wills, passions, and grievances. Until today, she hadn’t seen it clearly. In pain, her eyes opened to the overwhelming sorrow and suffering, the passion and evil; what she now recognized as life was a vast and horrific cruelty. She only needed this final proof to be convinced that to him, she was just another person brought into the world to serve his pleasure and profit. He had taken from her the most precious thing a woman can give and now that she was back at his side, compelled by an impulse she couldn’t understand—despite the wrong he had done her!—she had sought him out in danger, yet he had no thoughts for her, no words for her, no use for her other than as a servant: he didn’t care about any help she could offer, showing no awareness of the new insight that had dawned within her soul.... The phone calls seemed endless, yet she waited with a strange patience while he spoke with Mr. George Chippering and two of the most influential directors. These conversations stretched on for an hour or more. Possibly due to self-suggestion, from his repeated reassurances to Mr. Semple, Mr. Chippering, and the directors about his ability to handle the situation, Ditmar’s usual self-confidence slowly returned. And when he finally hung up and turned to her, even though he was still furious at the strikers, his voice conveyed the thrill of battle, the certainty of victory.

“They can't bluff me, they'll have to guess again. It's that damned Holster—he hasn't any guts—he'd give in to 'em right now if I'd let him. It's the limit the way he turned the Clarendon over to them. I'll show him how to put a crimp in 'em if they don't turn up here to-morrow morning.”

“They can’t fool me; they’ll have to take another shot at it. It’s that damn Holster—he doesn’t have any spine—he’d cave in to them right away if I let him. It’s unbelievable how he handed the Clarendon over to them. I’ll show him how to put a stop to them if they don’t show up here tomorrow morning.”

He was so magnificently sure of her sympathy! She did, not reply, but picked up her coat from the chair where she had laid it.

He was so confidently assured of her support! She didn’t respond, but instead picked up her coat from the chair where she had placed it.

“Where are you going?” he demanded. And she replied laconically, “Home.”

“Where are you going?” he asked. She replied simply, “Home.”

“Wait a minute,” he said, rising and taking a step toward her.

“Hold on a second,” he said, getting up and taking a step toward her.

“You have an appointment with the Mayor,” she reminded him.

“You have a meeting with the Mayor,” she reminded him.

“I know,” he said, glancing at the clock over the door. “Where have you been?—where were you this morning? I was worried about you, I—I was afraid you might be sick.”

“I know,” he said, looking at the clock above the door. “Where have you been? Where were you this morning? I was worried about you, I—I thought you might be sick.”

“Were you?” she said. “I'm all right. I had business in Boston.”

“Were you?” she said. “I'm fine. I had some stuff to take care of in Boston.”

“Why didn't you telephone me? In Boston?” he repeated.

“Why didn’t you call me? In Boston?” he repeated.

She nodded. He started forward again, but she avoided him.

She nodded. He moved forward again, but she dodged him.

“What's the matter?” he cried. “I've been worried about you all day—until this damned strike broke loose. I was afraid something had happened.”

“What's wrong?” he shouted. “I've been worried about you all day—until this stupid strike started. I was scared something had happened.”

“You might have asked my father,” she said.

“You could have asked my dad,” she said.

“For God's sake, tell me what's the matter!”

“For goodness' sake, tell me what's wrong!”

His desire for her mounted as his conviction grew more acute that something had happened to disturb a relationship which, he had congratulated himself, after many vicissitudes and anxieties had at last been established. He was conscious, however, of irritation because this whimsical and unanticipated grievance of hers should have developed at the moment when the caprice of his operatives threatened to interfere with his cherished plans—for Ditmar measured the inconsistencies of humanity by the yardstick of his desires. Her question as to why he had not made inquiries of her father added a new element to his disquietude. As he stood thus, worried, exasperated, and perplexed, the fact that there was in her attitude something ominous, dangerous, was slow to dawn on him. His faculties were wholly unprepared for the blow she struck him.

His desire for her intensified as he became more convinced that something had happened to disrupt a relationship that he had congratulated himself on establishing after many ups and downs. He felt irritated that this unexpected issue of hers should come up at a time when the unpredictability of his workers threatened to derail his carefully laid plans—because Ditmar measured the inconsistencies of people by how they aligned with his desires. Her question about why he hadn’t asked her father brought a new layer of unease. As he stood there, worried, frustrated, and confused, it slowly dawned on him that there was something ominous and dangerous in her attitude. His mind was completely unprepared for the shock she delivered.

“I hate you!” she said. She did not raise her voice, but the deliberate, concentrated conviction she put into the sentence gave it the dynamic quality of a bullet. And save for the impact of it—before which he physically recoiled—its import was momentarily without meaning.

“I hate you!” she said. She didn’t raise her voice, but the intense, focused conviction behind her words made it hit like a bullet. Aside from the shock of it—which made him physically step back—its significance was momentarily lost on him.

“What?” he exclaimed, stupidly.

“What?” he exclaimed, dumbfounded.

“I might have known you never meant to marry me,” she went on. Her hands were busy with the buttons of her coat.

“I should have known you never intended to marry me,” she continued. Her hands were occupied with the buttons of her coat.

“All you want is to use me, to enjoy me and turn me out when you get tired of me—the way you've done with other women. It's just the same with these mill hands, they're not human beings to you, they're—they're cattle. If they don't do as you like, you turn them out; you say they can starve for all you care.”

“All you want is to use me, to enjoy me, and to toss me aside when you're bored with me—the same way you've treated other women. It's just like with these factory workers; to you, they're not people, they're just— they're cattle. If they don't do what you want, you dismiss them; you act like they can starve, and you couldn’t care less.”

“For God's sake, what do you mean?” he demanded. “What have I done to you, Janet? I love you, I need you!”

“For heaven's sake, what do you mean?” he asked. “What have I done to you, Janet? I love you, I need you!”

“Love me!” she repeated. “I know how men of your sort love—I've seen it—I know. As long as I give you what you want and don't bother you, you love me. And I know how these workers feel,” she cried, with sudden, passionate vehemence. “I never knew before, but I know now. I've been with them, I marched up here with them from the Clarendon when they battered in the gates and smashed your windows—and I wanted to smash your windows, too, to blow up your mill.”

“Love me!” she said again. “I understand how guys like you love—I’ve seen it—I get it. As long as I provide what you want and don’t get in your way, you love me. And I know how these workers feel,” she exclaimed, with sudden, intense passion. “I never realized it before, but now I do. I’ve been with them; I walked up here with them from the Clarendon when they broke down the gates and smashed your windows—and I wanted to smash your windows, too, to blow up your mill.”

“What are you saying? You came here with the strikers? you were with that mob?” asked Ditmar, astoundedly.

“What are you talking about? You came here with the strikers? You were with that crowd?” Ditmar asked, astonished.

“Yes, I was in that mob. I belong there, with them, I tell you—I don't belong here, with you. But I was a fool even then, I was afraid they'd hurt you, I came into the mill to find you, and you—and you you acted as if you'd never seen me before. I was a fool, but I'm glad I came—I'm glad I had a chance to tell you this.”

“Yes, I was in that crowd. I fit in with them, I swear—I don’t fit in here with you. But I was an idiot even back then; I was scared they’d hurt you, so I came into the mill to look for you, and you—well, you acted like you’d never seen me. I was a fool, but I’m glad I came—I’m glad I had the chance to tell you this.”

“My God—won't you trust me?” he begged, with a tremendous effort to collect himself. “You trusted me yesterday. What's happened to change you? Won't you tell me? It's nothing I've done—I swear. And what do you mean when you say you were in that mob? I was almost crazy when I came back and found they'd been here in this mill—can't you understand? It wasn't that I didn't think of you. I'd been worrying about you all day. Look at this thing sensibly. I love you, I can't get along without you—I'll marry you. I said I would, I meant it I'll marry you just as soon as I can clean up this mess of a strike. It won't take long.”

“My God—won't you trust me?” he pleaded, making a huge effort to pull himself together. “You trusted me yesterday. What changed? Will you tell me? I swear it’s nothing I’ve done. And what do you mean when you say you were in that crowd? I was nearly losing my mind when I got back and found out they had been here at the mill—can't you see? It’s not like I didn’t think about you. I’ve been worried about you all day. Look at this rationally. I love you; I can’t be without you—I’ll marry you. I said I would, and I meant it. I’ll marry you as soon as I can sort out this mess with the strike. It won’t take long.”

“Don't touch me!” she commanded, and he recoiled again. “I'll tell you where I've been, if you want to know,—I've been to see my sister in—in a house, in Boston. I guess you know what kind of a house I mean, you've been in them, you've brought women to them,—just like the man that brought her there. Would you marry me now—with my sister there? And am I any different from her? You you've made me just like her.” Her voice had broken, now, into furious, uncontrolled weeping—to which she paid no heed.

“Don’t touch me!” she shouted, and he flinched again. “I’ll tell you where I’ve been, if you really want to know—I’ve been visiting my sister in—in a place, in Boston. You know what kind of place I mean; you’ve been to them, you’ve taken women there—just like the guy who brought her there. Would you marry me now—with my sister in that situation? Am I any different from her? You’ve turned me into someone just like her.” Her voice had cracked, now, into furious, uncontrolled sobbing—something she didn’t pay any attention to.

Ditmar was stunned; he could only stare at her.

Ditmar was shocked; he could only look at her in disbelief.

“If I have a child,” she said, “I'll—I'll kill you—I'll kill myself.”

“If I have a child,” she said, “I’ll—I’ll kill you—I’ll kill myself.”

And before he could reply—if indeed he had been able to reply—she had left the office and was running down the stairs....

And before he could respond—if he even had the chance to—she had already left the office and was rushing down the stairs....





CHAPTER XIV

What was happening to Hampton? Some hundreds of ignorant foreigners, dissatisfied with the money in their pay envelopes, had marched out of the Clarendon Mill and attacked the Chippering and behold, the revered structure of American Government had quivered and tumbled down like a pack of cards! Despite the feverish assurances in the Banner “extra” that the disturbance was merely local and temporary, solid citizens became panicky, vaguely apprehending the release of elemental forces hitherto unrecognized and unknown. Who was to tell these solid, educated business men that the crazy industrial Babel they had helped to rear, and in which they unconsciously dwelt, was no longer the simple edifice they thought it? that Authority, spelled with a capital, was a thing of the past? that human instincts suppressed become explosives to displace the strata of civilization and change the face of the world? that conventions and institutions, laws and decrees crumble before the whirlwind of human passions? that their city was not of special, but of universal significance? And how were these, who still believed themselves to be dwelling under the old dispensation, to comprehend that environments change, and changing demand new and terrible Philosophies? When night fell on that fateful Tuesday the voice of Syndicalism had been raised in a temple dedicated to ordered, Anglo-Saxon liberty—the Hampton City Hall.

What was happening to Hampton? A few hundred frustrated foreign workers, unhappy with the money in their paychecks, had marched out of the Clarendon Mill and attacked the Chippering, and suddenly, the respected structure of American Government had shaken and collapsed like a house of cards! Despite the frantic claims in the Banner “extra” that the disturbance was just a local and temporary issue, upstanding citizens became anxious, vaguely sensing the release of fundamental forces that had previously gone unrecognized and unknown. Who was going to tell these solid, educated business people that the chaotic industrial mess they had helped create, and where they lived unknowingly, was no longer the straightforward system they believed it to be? That Authority, with a capital A, was a thing of the past? That suppressed human instincts could become explosives, disrupting the layers of civilization and altering the world? That conventions and institutions, laws and policies could crumble before the storm of human emotions? That their city was not just important locally, but had universal significance? And how could those who still thought they were living under the old order understand that environments change, and that change demands new and frightening philosophies? When night fell on that fateful Tuesday, the voice of Syndicalism had been raised in a building meant for orderly, Anglo-Saxon liberty—the Hampton City Hall.

Only for a night and a day did the rebellion lack both a leader and a philosophy. Meanwhile, in obedience to the unerring instinct for drama peculiar to great metropolitan dailies, newspaper correspondents were alighting from every train, interviewing officials and members of labour unions and mill agents: interviewing Claude Ditmar, the strongest man in Hampton that day. He at least knew what ought to be done, and even before his siren broke the silence of the morning hours in vigorous and emphatic terms he had informed the Mayor and Council of their obvious duty. These strikers were helots, unorganized scum; the regular unions—by comparison respectable—held aloof from them. Here, in effect, was his argument: a strong show of force was imperative; if the police and deputies were inadequate, request the Governor to call out the local militia; but above all, waste no time, arrest the ringleaders, the plotters, break up all gatherings, keep the streets clear. He demanded from the law protection of his property, protection for those whose right to continue at work was inalienable. He was listened to with sympathy and respect—but nothing was done! The world had turned upside down indeed if the City Government of Hampton refused to take the advice of the agent of the Chippering Mill! American institutions were a failure! But such was the fact. Some unnamed fear, outweighing their dread of the retributions of Capital, possessed these men, made them supine, derelict in the face of their obvious duty.

For just one night and one day, the rebellion was without a leader or a clear ideology. Meanwhile, true to the dramatic instincts that great metropolitan newspapers have, reporters were arriving on every train, interviewing officials, labor union members, and mill agents: they interviewed Claude Ditmar, the strongest man in Hampton that day. He at least knew what needed to be done, and even before his loudspeakers broke the morning silence with strong and clear messages, he had informed the Mayor and Council of their obvious duty. These strikers were like helots, disorganized and undesirable; the established unions—by comparison respectable—kept their distance from them. Essentially, his argument was this: a strong show of force was crucial; if the police and deputies weren't enough, ask the Governor to deploy the local militia; but above all, don’t waste any time—arrest the ringleaders and conspirators, break up all gatherings, and keep the streets clear. He demanded that the law protect his property, and protect those whose right to work was undeniable. He was listened to sympathetically and with respect—but nothing happened! The world had truly turned upside down if the City Government of Hampton was ignoring the advice of the Chippering Mill's agent! American institutions were failing! But that was the reality. Some unnamed fear, stronger than their fear of retaliation from capital, held these men back, making them passive and negligent in the face of their obvious responsibilities.

By the faint grey light of that bitter January morning Ditmar made his way to the mill. In Faber Street dark figures flitted silently across the ghostly whiteness of the snow, and gathered in groups on the corners; seeking to avoid these, other figures hurried along the sidewalks close to the buildings, to be halted, accosted, pleaded with—threatened, perhaps. Picketing had already begun! The effect of this pantomime of the eternal struggle for survivals which he at first beheld from a distance, was to exaggerate appallingly the emptiness of the wide street, to emphasize the absence of shoppers and vehicles; and a bluish darkness lurked in the stores, whose plate glass windows were frosted in quaint designs. Where were the police? It was not fear that Ditmar felt, he was galvanized and dominated by anger, by an overwhelming desire for action; physical combat would have brought him relief, and as he quickened his steps he itched to seize with his own hands these foreigners who had dared to interfere with his cherished plans, who had had the audacity to challenge the principles of his government which welcomed them to its shores. He would have liked to wring their necks. His philosophy, too, was environmental. And beneath this wrath, stimulating and energizing it the more, was the ache in his soul from the loss for which he held these enemies responsible. Two days ago happiness and achievement had both been within his grasp. The only woman—so now it seemed—he had ever really wanted! What had become of her? What obscure and passionate impulse had led her suddenly to defy and desert him, to cast in her lot with these insensate aliens? A hundred times during the restless, inactive hours of a sleepless night this question had intruded itself in the midst of his scheming to break the strike, as he reviewed, word by word, act by act, that almost incomprehensible revolt of hers which had followed so swiftly—a final, vindictive blow of fate—on that other revolt of the workers. At moments he became confused, unable to separate the two. He saw her fire in that other.... Her sister, she had said, had been disgraced; she had defied him to marry her in the face of that degradation—and this suddenly had sickened him. He had let her go. What a fool he had been to let her go! Had she herself been—! He did not finish this thought. Throughout the long night he had known, for a certainty, that this woman was a vital part of him, flame of his flame. Had he never seen her he would have fought these strikers to their knees, but now the force of this incentive was doubled. He would never yield until he had crushed them, until he had reconquered her.

By the dim gray light of that bitter January morning, Ditmar made his way to the mill. On Faber Street, dark figures moved silently across the ghostly whiteness of the snow, gathering in groups on the corners. Trying to avoid them, others hurried along the sidewalks close to the buildings, only to be stopped, confronted, or even threatened, perhaps. Picketing had already started! The sight of this ongoing struggle for survival, which he initially observed from a distance, exaggerated the emptiness of the wide street and highlighted the absence of shoppers and vehicles; a bluish darkness hung in the stores, where the plate glass windows were frosted with intricate designs. Where were the police? Ditmar didn’t feel fear; instead, he was consumed by anger, driven by a strong desire for action. Physical confrontation would have given him relief, and as he quickened his steps, he felt an urge to grab these outsiders who had dared to interfere with his plans, who had the audacity to challenge the principles of his government that welcomed them. He would have liked to wring their necks. His mindset was also about the environment. And beneath this anger, intensifying it even more, was the ache in his heart from the loss he blamed these enemies for. Just two days ago, happiness and success had been within his reach. The only woman—so it seemed now—he had ever truly wanted! What had happened to her? What obscure and passionate impulse had led her to suddenly defy and abandon him, to join forces with these thoughtless outsiders? A hundred times during the restless, inactive hours of a sleepless night, this question had intruded on his thoughts while he schemed to end the strike, as he replayed, word by word, act by act, that almost incomprehensible rebellion of hers, which had followed so swiftly—a final, vengeful blow of fate—after the workers' revolt. At times he became confused, unable to distinguish between the two. He saw her passion in that other... Her sister, she said, had been disgraced; she had dared him to marry her despite that disgrace—and this realization suddenly made him feel sick. He had let her go. What a fool he had been to let her go! Had she herself been—! He didn’t finish that thought. Throughout the long night, he had known for sure that this woman was an essential part of him, the flame of his flame. Had he never seen her, he would have fought these strikers to their knees, but now that motivation was even stronger. He would never back down until he had crushed them, until he had won her back.

He was approaching one of the groups of strikers, and unconsciously he slowed his steps. The whites of his eyes reddened. The great coat of golden fur he wore gave to his aspect an added quality of formidableness. There were some who scattered as he drew near, and of the less timorous spirits that remained only a few raised dark, sullen glances to encounter his, which was unflinching, passionately contemptuous. Throughout the countless generations that lay behind them the instinct of submission had played its dominant, phylogenetic role. He was the Master. The journey across the seas had not changed that. A few shivered—not alone because they were thinly clad. He walked on, slowly, past other groups, turned the corner of West Street, where the groups were more numerous, while the number of those running the gantlet had increased. And he heard, twice or thrice, the word “Scab!” cried out menacingly. His eyes grew redder still as he spied a policeman standing idly in a doorway.

He was getting closer to one of the groups of strikers and unconsciously slowed down. The whites of his eyes were bloodshot. The golden fur coat he wore added to his intimidating presence. Some people scattered as he approached, and of the less fearful ones that stayed, only a few exchanged dark, gloomy looks with him, which were met by his unwavering, passionately scornful gaze. For countless generations behind them, the instinct to submit had played a major role. He was the Master. The journey across the seas had not changed that. A few shivered—not just because they were underdressed. He continued on slowly, passing more groups, rounding the corner of West Street, where the crowds grew larger, and the number of people facing harassment had increased. He heard, two or three times, the word “Scab!” yelled out threateningly. His eyes grew redder still when he spotted a policeman standing idly in a doorway.

“Why in hell don't you do your duty?” he demanded. “What do you mean by letting them interfere with these workers?”

“Why the hell aren't you doing your job?” he demanded. “What do you mean by allowing them to disrupt these workers?”

The man flinched. He was apologetic. “So long as they're peaceable, Mr. Ditmar—those are my orders. I do try to keep 'em movin'.”

The man flinched. He looked sorry. “As long as they're peaceful, Mr. Ditmar—those are my orders. I really try to keep them moving.”

“Your orders? You're a lot of damned cowards,” Ditmar replied, and went on. There were mutterings here; herded together, these slaves were bolder; and hunger and cold, discouragement at not being able to stop the flow toward the mills were having their effect. By the frozen canal, the scene of the onslaught of yesterday, the crowd had grown comparatively thick, and at the corner of the lodging-house row Ditmar halted a moment, unnoticed save by a few who nudged one another and murmured. He gave them no attention, he was trying to form an estimate of the effect of the picketing on his own operatives. Some came with timid steps; others, mostly women, fairly ran; still others were self-possessed, almost defiant—and such he marked. There were those who, when the picketers held them by the sleeve, broke precipitately from their annoyers, and those who hesitated, listening with troubled faces, with feelings torn between dread of hunger for themselves and their children and sympathy with the revolt. A small number joined the ranks of the picketers. Ditmar towered above these foreigners, who were mostly undersized: a student of human nature and civilization, free from industrial complexes, would from that point of vantage have had much to gather from the expressions coming within his view, but to Ditmar humanity was a means to an end. Suddenly, from the cupolas above the battlement of the mill, the bells shattered the early morning air, the remnant of the workers hastened across the canal and through the guarded gates, which were instantly closed. Ditmar was left alone among the strikers. As he moved toward the bridge they made a lane for him to pass; one or two he thrust out of his way. But there were mutterings, and from the sidewalk he heard a man curse him.

“Your orders? You're a bunch of damn cowards,” Ditmar responded, and continued on. There were murmurs among the crowd; packed together, these workers were bolder; hunger and cold, along with their frustration at being unable to stop the flow toward the mills, were taking their toll. By the frozen canal, where yesterday's chaos had unfolded, the crowd had noticeably thickened, and at the corner of the row of lodging houses, Ditmar paused momentarily, unnoticed except by a few who nudged each other and whispered. He ignored them, focused on assessing how the picketing was affecting his own workers. Some approached with hesitant steps; others, mostly women, hurried by; still others seemed calm, even defiant—and he took note of them. There were those who, when the picketers grabbed their sleeves, quickly broke away from them, and those who hesitated, listening with worried expressions, torn between their fear of hunger for themselves and their kids and their sympathy for the protest. A small number joined the ranks of the picketers. Ditmar loomed over these immigrants, who were mostly shorter than him: a student of human nature and society, free from industrial complexities, would have had a lot to observe from that vantage point based on the expressions around him, but to Ditmar, humanity was just a tool for his goals. Suddenly, from the domes above the mill's battlements, the bells rang out, shattering the early morning stillness; the remaining workers rushed across the canal and through the guarded gates, which were quickly shut. Ditmar found himself alone among the strikers. As he moved toward the bridge, they parted to let him through; he shoved one or two aside. But there were grumblings, and from the sidewalk, he heard a man curse him.

Perhaps we shall understand some day that the social body, also, is subject to the operation of cause and effect. It was not what an ingenuous orthodoxy, keeping alive the fate of the ancient city from which Lot fled, would call the wrath of heaven that visited Hampton, although a sermon on these lines was delivered from more than one of her pulpits on the following Sunday. Let us surmise, rather, that a decrepit social system in a moment of lowered vitality becomes an easy prey to certain diseases which respectable communities are not supposed to have. The germ of a philosophy evolved in decadent Europe flies across the sea to prey upon a youthful and vigorous America, lodging as host wherever industrial strife has made congenial soil. In four and twenty hours Hampton had “caught” Syndicalism. All day Tuesday, before the true nature of the affection was developed, prominent citizens were outraged and appalled by the supineness of their municipal phagocytes. Property, that sacred fabric of government, had been attacked and destroyed, law had been defied, and yet the City Hall, the sanctuary of American tradition, was turned over to the alien mob for a continuous series of mass meetings. All day long that edifice, hitherto chastely familiar with American doctrine alone, with patriotic oratory, with perorations that dwelt upon the wrongs and woes of Ireland—part of our national propaganda—all day long that edifice rang with strange, exotic speech, sometimes guttural, often musical, but always impassioned, weirdly cadenced and intoned. From the raised platform, in place of the shrewd, matter-of-fact New England politician alive to the vote—getting powers of Fourth of July patriotism, in place of the vehement but fun-loving son of Erin, men with wild, dark faces, with burning black eyes and unkempt hair, unshaven, flannel skirted—made more alien, paradoxically, by their conventional, ready-made American clothes—gave tongue to the inarticulate aspirations of the peasant drudge of Europe. From lands long steeped in blood they came, from low countries by misty northern seas, from fair and ancient plains of Lombardy, from Guelph and Ghibelline hamlets in the Apennines, from vine-covered slopes in Sicily and Greece; from the Balkans, from Caucasus and Carpathia, from the mountains of Lebanon, whose cedars lined the palaces of kings; and from villages beside swollen rivers that cross the dreary steppes. Each peasant listened to a recital in his own tongue—the tongue in which the folklore, the cradle sayings of his race had been preserved—of the common wrongs of all, of misery still present, of happiness still unachieved in this land of liberty and opportunity they had found a mockery; to appeals to endure and suffer for a common cause. But who was to weld together this medley of races and traditions, to give them the creed for which their passions were prepared, to lead into battle these ignorant and unskilled from whom organized labour held aloof? Even as dusk was falling, even as the Mayor, the Hon. Michael McGrath, was making from the platform an eloquent plea for order and peace, promising a Committee of Arbitration and thinking about soldiers, the leader and the philosophy were landing in Hampton.

Maybe one day we'll realize that society is also affected by cause and effect. It wasn’t what an innocent orthodoxy, keeping alive the fate of the ancient city Lot fled, would call divine retribution that struck Hampton, although sermons along those lines were preached from several of its pulpits the following Sunday. Rather, let’s assume that a worn-out social system, in a moment of weakened vitality, becomes an easy target for certain problems that respectable communities are supposed to be above. The idea of a philosophy that grew in declining Europe traveled across the ocean to take hold in a young, vibrant America, settling wherever industrial conflict created a welcoming environment. In just 24 hours, Hampton had “caught” Syndicalism. All day Tuesday, before the true nature of the situation revealed itself, prominent citizens were shocked and appalled by the passivity of their local governance. Property, that revered fabric of government, was attacked and destroyed, laws were disobeyed, and yet City Hall, the symbol of American tradition, was handed over to the foreign mob for an ongoing series of mass meetings. All day long that building, previously only familiar with American doctrine, patriotic speeches, and orations that focused on the wrongs and sufferings of Ireland—a part of our national narrative—echoed with strange, foreign speech, sometimes guttural, often melodic, but always passionate, with an odd rhythm and tone. From the stage, instead of the shrewd, practical New England politician focused on votes, or the enthusiastic yet light-hearted son of Erin, men with wild, dark faces, burning black eyes, and messy hair, unshaven and dressed in flannel, became even more foreign, ironically, in their standard ready-made American clothes. They spoke for the inexpressible hopes of Europe's peasant laborers. They had come from lands drenched in blood, from low countries by misty northern seas, from the beautiful and ancient plains of Lombardy, from Guelph and Ghibelline villages in the Apennines, from vine-covered hills in Sicily and Greece; from the Balkans, Caucasus, and Carpathians, from the mountains of Lebanon—whose cedars lined the palaces of kings; and from villages beside swollen rivers that cut through the bleak steppes. Each peasant listened to a story told in his own language—the language that had preserved the folklore and childhood sayings of his people—about the common injustices faced, the ongoing misery, and the unrealized happiness in this land of liberty and opportunity they found to be a mockery; urging them to endure and suffer for a shared cause. But who would unite this mix of races and traditions, provide them with the beliefs their passions were ready for, and lead these uninformed and untrained individuals, from whom organized labor distanced itself, into battle? As dusk began to fall, just as the Mayor, the Hon. Michael McGrath, was making an eloquent call for order and peace from the stage, promising an Arbitration Committee and considering soldiers, the leader and the philosophy were arriving in Hampton.

The “five o'clock” edition of the Banner announced him, Antonio Antonelli, of the Industrial Workers of the World! An ominous name, an ominous title,—compared by a well-known publicist to the sound of a fire-bell in the night. The Industrial Workers, not of America, but of the World! No wonder it sent shivers down the spine of Hampton! The writer of the article in the Banner was unfamiliar with the words “syndicalism” and “sabotage,” or the phrase “direct action,” he was too young to know the history of the Knights, he had never heard of a philosophy of labour, or of Sorel or Pouget, but the West he had heard of,—the home of lawlessness, of bloodshed, rape, and murder. For obvious reasons he did not betray this opinion, but for him the I.W.W. was born in the West, where it had ravaged and wrecked communities. His article was guardedly respectful, but he ventured to remind his readers that Mr. Antonelli had been a leader in some of these titanic struggles between crude labour and capital—catastrophes that hitherto had seemed to the citizens of Hampton as remote as Kansas cyclones....

The “five o'clock” edition of the Banner announced him, Antonio Antonelli, of the Industrial Workers of the World! An ominous name, an ominous title—compared by a well-known publicist to the sound of a fire alarm in the night. The Industrial Workers, not of America, but of the World! No wonder it sent chills down the spine of Hampton! The writer of the article in the Banner didn’t know the terms “syndicalism” and “sabotage,” or the phrase “direct action.” He was too young to know the history of the Knights and had never heard of a labor philosophy, or of Sorel or Pouget, but he had heard of the West—the land of lawlessness, bloodshed, rape, and murder. For obvious reasons, he didn’t express this view, but to him, the I.W.W. was born in the West, where it had devastated and destroyed communities. His article was cautiously respectful, but he did remind his readers that Mr. Antonelli had been a leader in some of these massive struggles between raw labor and capital—disasters that had seemed to the people of Hampton as distant as cyclones in Kansas....

Some of the less timorous of the older inhabitants, curious to learn what doctrine this interloper had to proclaim, thrust their way that evening into the City Hall, which was crowded, as the papers said, “to suffocation.” Not prepossessing, this modern Robespierre; younger than he looked, for life had put its mark on him; once, in the days of severe work in the mines, his body had been hard, and now had grown stout. In the eyes of a complacent, arm-chair historian he must have appeared one of the strange and terrifying creatures which, in times of upheaval, are thrust from the depths of democracies to the surface, with gifts to voice the longings and passions of those below. He did not blink in the light; he was sure of himself, he had a creed and believed in it; he gazed around him with the leonine stare of the conqueror, and a hush came over the hall as he arose. His speech was taken down verbatim, to be submitted to the sharpest of legal eyes, when was discovered the possession of a power—rare among agitators—to pour forth in torrents apparently unpremeditated appeals, to skirt the border of sedition and never transgress it, to weigh his phrases before he gave them birth, and to remember them. If he said an incendiary thing one moment he qualified it the next; he justified violence only to deprecate it; and months later, when on trial for his life and certain remarks were quoted against him, he confounded his prosecutors by demanding the contexts. Skilfully, always within the limits of their intelligence, he outlined to his hearers his philosophy and proclaimed it as that of the world's oppressed. Their cause was his—the cause of human progress; he universalized, it. The world belonged to the “producer,” if only he had the courage to take possession of his own....

Some of the less fearful older residents, curious to find out what ideas this newcomer had to share, pushed their way into City Hall that evening, which was packed, as the papers put it, “to suffocation.” Not exactly charming, this modern Robespierre; he was younger than he seemed, as life had left its mark on him; once, during his hard work in the mines, his body had been lean, and now he had grown stocky. To a satisfied, armchair historian, he would have appeared as one of those strange and frightening figures that emerge from the depths of democracies during times of upheaval, gifted at expressing the longings and passions of the masses. He didn’t flinch in the spotlight; he was confident, held strong beliefs, and looked around with the piercing gaze of a conqueror, silencing the hall as he stood up. His speech was recorded word for word, ready to be examined by the sharpest legal minds, revealing a rare ability among agitators—to deliver seemingly spontaneous and powerful appeals, to toe the line of sedition without crossing it, to carefully consider his words before speaking, and to remember them. If he said something inflammatory one moment, he’d clarify it the next; he justified violence only to dismiss it; and months later, when he was on trial for his life and certain remarks were quoted against him, he confused his prosecutors by asking for the full context. Skillfully, always within the limits of their understanding, he laid out his philosophy for his audience, presenting it as the perspective of the world’s oppressed. Their struggle was his—the struggle for human progress; he made it universal. The world belonged to the “producer,” if only he had the courage to claim it....

Suddenly the inspirer was transformed into the man of affairs who calmly proposed the organization of a strike committee, three members of which were to be chosen by each nationality. And the resolution, translated into many tongues, was adopted amidst an uproar of enthusiasm. Until that moment the revolt had been personal, local, founded on a particular grievance which had to do with wages and the material struggle for existence. Now all was changed; now they were convinced that the deprivation and suffering to which they had pledged themselves were not for selfish ends alone, but also vicarious, dedicated to the liberation of all the downtrodden of the earth. Antonelli became a saviour; they reached out to touch him as he passed; they trooped into the snowy street, young men and old, and girls, and women holding children in their arms, their faces alight with something never known or felt before.

Suddenly, the inspiration turned into a practical leader who calmly suggested setting up a strike committee, with three members to be chosen from each nationality. The resolution, translated into many languages, was passed amidst a wave of enthusiasm. Until that moment, the revolt had been personal and local, based on a specific grievance related to wages and the struggle for survival. Now everything had changed; they were convinced that the sacrifices and suffering they had pledged themselves to were not just for selfish reasons, but also for others, dedicated to the liberation of all the oppressed people around the world. Antonelli became a hero; they reached out to touch him as he walked by; they spilled into the snowy street, young men and women, girls, and mothers holding children, their faces shining with a feeling they had never experienced before.

Such was Antonelli to the strikers. But to those staid residents of Hampton who had thought themselves still to be living in the old New England tradition, he was the genius of an evil dream. Hard on his heels came a nightmare troop, whose coming brought to the remembrance of the imaginative the old nursery rhyme:—“Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark, The beggars are come to town.”

Such was Antonelli to the strikers. But to the traditional residents of Hampton who believed they were still part of the old New England way of life, he was the embodiment of a wicked fantasy. Close behind him came a terrifying group, whose arrival reminded the imaginative of the old nursery rhyme:—“Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark, The beggars are come to town.”

It has, indeed, a knell-like ring. Do philosophies tend also to cast those who adopt them into a mould? These were of the self-same breed, indubitably the followers of Antonelli. The men wore their hair long, affected, like their leader, soft felt hats and loose black ties that fell over the lapels of their coats. Loose morals and loose ties! The projection of these against a Puritan background ties symbolical of everything the Anglo-Saxon shudders at and abhors; of anarchy and mob rule, of bohemia and vagabondia, of sedition and murder, of Latin revolutions and reigns of terror; of sex irregularity—not of the clandestine sort to be found in decent communities—but of free love that flaunts itself in the face of an outraged public. For there were women in the band. All this, and more, the invaders suggested—atheism, unfamiliarity with soap and water, and, more vaguely, an exotic poetry and art that to the virile of American descent is saturated with something indefinable yet abhorrent. Such things are felt. Few of the older citizens of Hampton were able to explain why something rose in their gorges, why they experienced a new and clammy quality of fear and repulsion when, on the day following Antonelli's advent, these strangers arrived from nowhere to install themselves—with no baggage to speak of—in Hampton's more modest but hitherto respectable hostelries. And no sooner had the city been rudely awakened to the perilous presence, in overwhelming numbers, of ignorant and inflammable foreigners than these turned up and presumed to lead the revolt, to make capital out of it, to interpret it in terms of an exotic and degenerate creed. Hampton would take care of itself—or else the sovereign state within whose borders it was would take care of it. And his Honour the Mayor, who had proclaimed his faith in the reasonableness of the strikers, who had scorned the suggestions of indignant inhabitants that the Governor be asked for soldiers, twenty-four hours too late arranged for the assembly of three companies of local militia in the armory, and swore in a hundred extra police.

It really does have a funeral bell sound to it. Do philosophies also reshape those who embrace them? These individuals were undoubtedly the followers of Antonelli. The men sported long hair, wore soft felt hats like their leader, and had loose black ties hanging over their coat lapels. Loose morals and loose ties! The contrast of these against a Puritan backdrop symbolizes everything that Anglo-Saxons find unsettling and detestable: anarchy and mob rule, bohemian lifestyles and vagrancy, sedition and murder, Latin revolutions and reigns of terror; sexual irregularity—not the private kind typically found in decent communities—but of free love that boldly challenges an outraged public. And there were women among them. All this and more was suggested by the newcomers—atheism, an aversion to hygiene, and an ambiguous exotic style of poetry and art that many American-born men find deeply unsettling. Such feelings are instinctive. Few of Hampton's older residents could articulate why they felt a visceral response—a deep, uneasy sense of fear and disgust—when, the day after Antonelli arrived, these strangers appeared out of nowhere to settle in Hampton's modest but previously respectable inns with little more than themselves. As soon as the city realized the looming threat of so many ignorant, volatile foreigners, these newcomers showed up, claiming to lead the revolt, exploiting it, and framing it through the lens of a twisted, decadent belief system. Hampton would take care of itself—or, if necessary, the state it belonged to would handle it. And the Mayor, who had publicly expressed his confidence in the reasonableness of the strikers and dismissed the outraged residents' calls to ask the Governor for troops, finally, a day late, arranged for three local militia companies to gather at the armory and called up a hundred extra police.

The hideous stillness of Fillmore Street was driving Janet mad. What she burned to do was to go to Boston and take a train for somewhere in the West, to lose herself, never to see Hampton again. But—there was her mother. She could not leave Hannah in these empty rooms, alone; and Edward was to remain at the mill, to eat and sleep there, until the danger of the strike had passed. A messenger had come to fetch his clothes. After leaving Ditmar in the office of the mill, Janet crept up the dark stairs to the flat and halted in the hallway. Through the open doorway of the dining-room she saw Hannah seated on the horsehair sofa—for the first time within memory idle at this hour of the day. Nothing else could have brought home to her like this the sheer tragedy of their plight. Until then Janet had been sustained by anger and excitement, by physical action. She thought Hannah was staring at her; after a moment it seemed that the widened pupils were fixed in fascination on something beyond, on the Thing that had come to dwell here with them forever.

The eerie silence of Fillmore Street was driving Janet crazy. What she really wanted to do was head to Boston and catch a train to somewhere out West, to disappear and never see Hampton again. But—there was her mother. She couldn’t leave Hannah alone in these empty rooms; and Edward was supposed to stay at the mill, eating and sleeping there until the threat of the strike was over. A messenger had come to collect his clothes. After leaving Ditmar in the mill office, Janet quietly made her way up the dark stairs to the apartment and paused in the hallway. Through the open door of the dining room, she saw Hannah sitting on the horsehair sofa—uncharacteristically idle at this time of day. Nothing else could have brought home to her the true tragedy of their situation like this. Until that moment, Janet had been fueled by anger and excitement, by physical activity. She thought Hannah was looking at her; after a moment, it seemed that her widened pupils were fixed in fascination on something beyond her, on the Thing that had come to stay with them forever.

Janet entered the room. She sat down on the sofa and took her mother's hand in hers. And Hannah submitted passively. Janet could not speak. A minute might have passed, and the silence, which neither had broken, acquired an intensity that to Janet became unbearable. Never had the room been so still! Her glance, raised instinctively to the face of the picture-clock, saw the hands pointing to ten. Every Monday morning, as far back as she could recall, her father had wound it before going to work—and to-day he had forgotten. Getting up, she opened the glass door, and stood trying to estimate the hour: it must be, she thought, about six. She set the hands, took the key from the nail above the shelf, wound up the weight, and started the pendulum. And the sound of familiar ticking was a relief, releasing at last her inhibited powers of speech.

Janet walked into the room. She sat down on the sofa and took her mother's hand in hers. Hannah didn't resist. Janet couldn’t find the words. A minute may have gone by, and the silence that neither of them broke became so intense that it became unbearable for Janet. The room had never been this quiet! Her glance instinctively moved to the picture clock, noticing the hands pointing to ten. Every Monday morning, as far back as she could remember, her dad had wound it before heading off to work—and today he had forgotten. Standing up, she opened the glass door and tried to figure out the time: it must be around six, she thought. She set the hands, took the key from the nail above the shelf, wound up the weight, and got the pendulum started. The familiar ticking brought her relief, finally allowing her to speak.

“Mother,” she said, “I'll get some supper for you.”

“Mom,” she said, “I'll make you some dinner.”

On Hannah, these simple words had a seemingly magical effect. Habit reasserted itself. She started, and rose almost briskly.

On Hannah, these simple words had a seemingly magical effect. Habit reasserted itself. She started and stood up almost quickly.

“No you won't,” she said, “I'll get it. I'd ought to have thought of it before. You must be tired and hungry.”

“No you won't,” she said, “I'll take care of it. I should have thought of it earlier. You must be tired and hungry.”

Her voice was odd and thin. Janet hesitated a moment, and ceded.

Her voice was strange and weak. Janet paused for a moment, then gave in.

“Well, I'll set the dishes on the table, anyway.”

“Well, I'll put the dishes on the table, anyway.”

Janet had sought refuge, wistfully, in the commonplace. And when the meal was ready she strove to eat, though food had become repulsive.

Janet had found comfort, with a hint of sadness, in the ordinary. And when the meal was ready, she tried to eat, even though food had become unappetizing.

“You must take something, mother,” she said.

“You have to take something, Mom,” she said.

“I don't feel as if I ever wanted to eat anything again,” she replied.

“I don’t feel like I ever want to eat anything again,” she replied.

“I know,” said Janet, “but you've got to.” And she put some of the cold meat, left over from Sunday's dinner, on Hannah's plate. Hannah took up a fork, and laid it down again. Suddenly she said:—“You saw Lise?”

“I know,” Janet said, “but you have to.” She put some of the cold meat leftover from Sunday’s dinner on Hannah’s plate. Hannah picked up a fork and then set it down again. Suddenly, she asked, “Did you see Lise?”

“Yes,” said Janet.

“Yeah,” said Janet.

“Where is she?”

"Where's she?"

“In a house—in Boston.”

“In a house in Boston.”

“One of—those houses?”

"One of those houses?"

“I—I don't know,” said Janet. “I think so.”

“I—I don't know,” said Janet. “I guess so.”

“You went there?”

"You went there?"

“Mr. Tiernan went with me.”

“Mr. Tiernan came with me.”

“She wouldn't come home?”

"She won't come home?"

“Not—not just now, mother.”

“Not— not right now, mom.”

“You left her there, in that place? You didn't make her come home?”

“You left her there, in that place? You didn’t bring her home?”

The sudden vehemence of this question, the shrill note of reproach in Hannah's voice that revealed, even more than the terrible inertia from which she had emerged, the extent of her suffering, for the instant left Janet utterly dismayed. “Oh mother!” she exclaimed. “I tried—I—I couldn't.”

The sudden intensity of this question, the sharp tone of accusation in Hannah's voice that showed, even more than the horrible stagnation she had come from, how deeply she was hurting, left Janet completely shocked. “Oh mom!” she exclaimed. “I tried—I—I couldn’t.”

Hannah pushed back her chair.

Hannah pulled back her chair.

“I'll go to her, I'll make her come. She's disgraced us, but I'll make her. Where is she? Where is the house?”

“I'll go to her, I'll make her come. She's embarrassed us, but I'll make it happen. Where is she? Where's the house?”

Janet, terrified, seized her mother's arm. Then she said:—“Lise isn't there any more—she's gone away.”

Janet, scared, grabbed her mother's arm. Then she said:—“Lise isn’t here anymore—she's left.”

“Away and you let her go away? You let your sister go away and be a—a woman of the town? You never loved her—you never had any pity for her.”

“Away and you let her go away? You let your sister leave and be a—a woman of the town? You never loved her—you never had any pity for her.”

Tears sprang into Janet's eyes—tears of pity mingled with anger. The situation had grown intolerable! Yet how could she tell Hannah where Lise was!

Tears filled Janet's eyes—tears of pity mixed with anger. The situation had become unbearable! But how could she tell Hannah where Lise was!

“You haven't any right to say that, mother!” she cried. “I did my best. She wouldn't come. I—I can't tell you where she's gone, but she promised to write, to send me her address.”

“You don’t have the right to say that, mom!” she shouted. “I did my best. She wouldn’t come. I—I can’t tell you where she went, but she promised to write and send me her address.”

“Lise” Hannah's cry seemed like the uncomprehending whimper of a stricken child, and then a hidden cadence made itself felt, a cadence revealing to Janet with an eloquence never before achieved the mystery of mother love, and by some magic of tone was evoked a new image of Lise—of Lise as she must be to Hannah. No waywardness, no degradation or disgrace could efface it. The infant whom Hannah had clutched to her breast, the woman, her sister, whom Janet had seen that day were one—immutably one. This, then, was what it meant to be a mother! All the years of deadening hope had not availed to kill the craving—even in this withered body it was still alive and quick. The agony of that revelation was scarcely to be borne. And it seemed that Lise, even in the place where she was, must have heard that cry and heeded it. And yet—the revelation of Lise's whereabouts, of Lise's contemplated act Janet had nearly been goaded into making, died on her lips. She could not tell Hannah! And Lise's child must not come into a world like this. Even now the conviction remained, fierce, exultant, final. But if Janet had spoken now Hannah would not have heard her. Under the storm she had begun to rock, weeping convulsively.... But gradually her weeping ceased. And to Janet, helplessly watching, this process of congealment was more terrible even than the release that only an unmitigated violence of grief had been able to produce. In silence Hannah resumed her shrunken duties, and when these were finished sat awhile, before going to bed, her hands lying listless in her lap. She seemed to have lived for centuries, to have exhausted the gamut of suffering which, save for that one wild outburst, had been the fruit of commonplace, passive, sordid tragedy that knows no touch of fire....

“Lise,” Hannah's cry felt like the confused whimper of a hurt child, and then a hidden rhythm revealed itself, expressing to Janet in a way she had never experienced before the mystery of a mother's love. By some magical quality of tone, a new image of Lise emerged—of Lise as Hannah must see her. No rebelliousness, no humiliation or shame could erase that image. The infant Hannah had held close to her chest and the woman, her sister, whom Janet had seen that day were one—unchangeably one. This was what it meant to be a mother! All the years of disheartening hope hadn't killed the longing—even in this frail body, it was still alive and vibrant. The pain of that realization was almost unbearable. It felt as if Lise, even from where she was, must have heard that cry and responded to it. And yet—the truth about Lise's situation, about the act Janet had almost been pushed to commit, died on her tongue. She couldn’t tell Hannah! And Lise's child must not be brought into a world like this. Even now, the belief remained, intense, triumphant, absolute. But if Janet had spoken at that moment, Hannah wouldn’t have listened. Amid the storm, she began to sway, sobbing convulsively… But gradually, her tears stopped. And to Janet, helplessly observing, this process of freezing was even more terrifying than the release that only an overwhelming despair could produce. In silence, Hannah returned to her diminished tasks, and when they were done, she sat for a while before going to bed, her hands lying limp in her lap. She seemed to have lived for centuries, to have exhausted the full range of suffering that, except for that one wild outburst, came from a mundane, passive, grim tragedy that knows no spark of fire…

The next morning Janet was awakened by the siren. Never, even in the days when life had been routine and commonplace, had that sound failed to arouse in her a certain tremor of fear; with its first penetrating shriek, terror invaded her: then, by degrees, overcoming her numbness, came an agonizing realization of tragedy to be faced. The siren blew and blew insistently, as though it never meant to stop; and now for the first time she seemed to detect in it a note of futility. There were those who would dare to defy it. She, for one, would defy it. In that reflection she found a certain fierce joy. And she might lie in bed if she wished—how often had she longed to! But she could not. The room was cold, appallingly empty and silent as she hurried into her clothes. The dining-room lamp was lighted, the table set, her mother was bending over the stove when she reached the kitchen. After the pretence of breakfast was gone through Janet sought relief in housework, making her bed, tidying her room. It was odd, this morning, how her notice of little, familiar things had the power to add to her pain, brought to mind memories become excruciating as she filled the water pitcher from the kitchen tap she found herself staring at the nick broken out of it when Lise had upset it. She recalled Lise's characteristically flippant remark. And there was the streak in the wall-paper caused one night by the rain leaking through the roof. After the bed was made and the room swept she stood a moment, motionless, and then, opening the drawer in the wardrobe took from it the rose which she had wrapped in tissue paper and hidden there, and with a perverse desire as it were to increase the bitterness consuming her, to steep herself in pain, she undid the parcel and held the withered flower to her face. Even now a fragrance, faint yet poignant, clung to it.... She wrapped it up again, walked to the window, hesitated, and then with a sudden determination to destroy this sole relic of her happiness went to the kitchen and flung it into the stove. Hannah, lingering over her morning task of cleaning, did not seem to notice the act. Janet turned to her.

The next morning, Janet was jolted awake by the siren. Never, even in the times when life had felt routine and normal, had that sound failed to send a shiver of fear through her; with its first piercing wail, terror flooded in: then, gradually breaking through her numbness, came a painful realization of the tragedy she had to confront. The siren wailed insistently, as if it would never end; and for the first time, she could sense a note of futility in it. There were those who would dare to defy it. She, for one, would defy it. In that thought, she found a fierce joy. And she could lie in bed if she wanted to—how often had she wished for that! But she couldn't. The room was cold, shockingly empty and silent as she hurried into her clothes. The dining-room lamp was on, the table was set, and her mother was bent over the stove when she got to the kitchen. After she pretended to have breakfast, Janet found solace in housework, making her bed and tidying her room. It was strange this morning how her awareness of little, familiar things intensified her pain, bringing to mind memories that had become excruciating; as she filled the water pitcher from the kitchen tap, she stared at the nick chipped out of it when Lise had knocked it over. She remembered Lise's typically flippant comment. And there was the streak on the wallpaper caused by rain leaking through the roof one night. After making her bed and sweeping the room, she paused for a moment, motionless, and then opened the drawer in the wardrobe, taking out the rose she had wrapped in tissue paper and hidden there. With a perverse desire to deepen the bitterness consuming her, to immerse herself in pain, she unwrapped it and held the withered flower to her face. Even now, a faint yet poignant fragrance lingered on it… She wrapped it up again, walked to the window, hesitated, and then, with sudden determination to destroy this sole reminder of her happiness, went to the kitchen and tossed it into the stove. Hannah, lingering over her morning cleaning task, didn’t seem to notice. Janet turned to her.

“I think I'll go out for a while, mother,” she said.

“I think I’ll go out for a bit, Mom,” she said.

“You'd ought to,” Hannah replied. “There's no use settin' around here.”

“You should,” Hannah replied. “There's no point in sitting around here.”

The silence of the flat was no longer to be endured. And Janet, putting on her coat and hat, descended the stairs. Not once that morning had her mother mentioned Lise; nor had she asked about her own plans—about Ditmar. This at least was a relief; it was the question she had feared most. In the street she met the postman.

The silence of the apartment was becoming unbearable. Janet put on her coat and hat and went down the stairs. Her mom hadn't mentioned Lise at all that morning, nor did she ask about Janet's own plans—about Ditmar. At least that was a relief; it was the question she dreaded the most. Outside, she ran into the postman.

“I have a letter for you, Miss Janet,” he said. And on the pink envelope he handed her, in purple ink, she recognized the unformed, childish handwriting of Lise. “There's great doings down at the City Hall,” the postman added “the foreigners are holding mass meetings there.” Janet scarcely heard him as she tore open the envelope. “Dear Janet,” the letter ran. “The doctor told me I had a false alarm, there was nothing to it. Wouldn't that jar you? Boston's a slow burg, and there's no use of my staying here now. I'm going to New York, and maybe I'll come back when I've had a look at the great white way. I've got the coin, and I gave him the mit to-night. If you haven't anything better to do, drop in at the Bagatelle and give Walters my love, and tell them not to worry at home. There's no use trying to trail me. Your affectionate sister Lise.”

“I have a letter for you, Miss Janet,” he said. And on the pink envelope he handed her, in purple ink, she recognized the unformed, childish handwriting of Lise. “There's a lot going on down at City Hall,” the postman added, “the foreigners are having mass meetings there.” Janet barely heard him as she tore open the envelope. “Dear Janet,” the letter began. “The doctor told me it was just a false alarm, there was nothing to it. Can you believe that? Boston's a slow town, and there’s no point in me staying here now. I’m going to New York, and maybe I’ll come back after I’ve seen the bright lights. I’ve got the money, and I gave him the tip tonight. If you don’t have anything better to do, stop by the Bagatelle and send my love to Walters, and let them know not to worry at home. There’s no point in trying to track me down. Your affectionate sister, Lise.”

Janet thrust the letter in her pocket. Then she walked rapidly westward until she came to the liver-coloured facade of the City Hall, opposite the Common. Pushing through the crowd of operatives lingering on the pavement in front of it, she entered the building....

Janet shoved the letter into her pocket. Then she hurried west until she reached the reddish-brown facade of City Hall, across from the Common. Pushing through the group of workers hanging around on the sidewalk in front of it, she walked into the building....





CHAPTER XV

Occasionally the art of narrative may be improved by borrowing the method of the movies. Another night has passed, and we are called upon to imagine the watery sunlight of a mild winter afternoon filtering through bare trees on the heads of a multitude. A large portion of Hampton Common is black with the people of sixteen nationalities who have gathered there, trampling down the snow, to listen wistfully and eagerly to a new doctrine of salvation. In the centre of this throng on the bandstand—reminiscent of concerts on sultry, summer nights—are the itinerant apostles of the cult called Syndicalism, exhorting by turns in divers tongues. Antonelli had spoken, and many others, when Janet, impelled by a craving not to be denied, had managed to push her way little by little from the outskirts of the crowd until now she stood almost beneath the orator who poured forth passionate words in a language she recognized as Italian. Her curiosity was aroused, she was unable to classify this tall man whose long and narrow face was accentuated by a pointed brown beard, whose lips gleamed red as he spoke, whose slim hands were eloquent. The artist as propagandist—the unsuccessful artist with more facility than will. The nose was classic, and wanted strength; the restless eyes that at times seemed fixed on her were smouldering windows of a burning house: the fire that stirred her was also consuming him. Though he could have been little more than five and thirty, his hair was thinned and greying at the temples. And somehow emblematic of this physiognomy and physique, summing it up and expressing it in terms of apparel, were the soft collar and black scarf tied in a flowing bow. Janet longed to know what he was saying. His phrases, like music, played on her emotions, and at last, when his voice rose in crescendo at the climax of his speech, she felt like weeping.

Sometimes, the art of storytelling can be enhanced by taking cues from movies. Another night has gone by, and we’re invited to picture the soft winter sunlight streaming through bare trees over a massive crowd. A large section of Hampton Common is filled with people from sixteen different nationalities who have gathered there, trampling down the snow, eager to hear a new message of hope. In the middle of this crowd on the bandstand—reminding us of concerts on warm summer nights—are the traveling advocates of a movement called Syndicalism, taking turns speaking in different languages. Antonelli had spoken, along with many others, when Janet, driven by an irresistible urge, managed to slowly push her way through the edges of the crowd until she found herself almost directly under the speaker who passionately delivered words in a language she recognized as Italian. Her curiosity peaked as she struggled to categorize this tall man with a long, narrow face defined by a pointed brown beard, whose lips shone red as he spoke, and whose slender hands were animated. The artist as a speaker—the unsuccessful artist who had more flair than determination. His nose was classic but lacked strength; his restless eyes, which occasionally locked onto hers, were like smoldering windows of a burning building: the fire that inspired her was also consuming him. Although he couldn’t have been more than thirty-five, his hair was thinning and graying at the temples. And reflecting this appearance in his clothes were the soft collar and black scarf tied in a loose bow. Janet yearned to understand what he was saying. His words, like music, stirred her emotions, and finally, as his voice reached a crescendo at the peak of his speech, she felt tears welling up.

“Un poeta!” a woman beside her exclaimed.

“ A poet!” a woman next to her exclaimed.

“Who is he?” Janet asked.

“Who is he?” Janet asked.

“Rolfe,” said the woman.

“Rolfe,” the woman said.

“But he's an Italian?”

"But he's Italian?"

The woman shrugged her shoulders. “It is his name that is all I know.” He had begun to speak again, and now in English, with an enunciation, a distinctive manner of turning his phrases new to such gatherings in America, where labour intellectuals are little known; surprising to Janet, diverting her attention, at first, from the meaning of his words. “Labour,” she heard, “labour is the creator of all wealth, and wealth belongs to the creator. The wage system must be abolished. You, the creators, must do battle against these self-imposed masters until you shall come into your own. You who toil miserably for nine hours and produce, let us say, nine dollars of wealth—do you receive it? No, what is given you is barely enough to keep the slave and the slave's family alive! The master, the capitalist, seizes the rightful reward of your labour and spends it on luxuries, on automobiles and fine houses and women, on food he can't eat, while you are hungry. Yes, you are slaves,” he cried, “because you submit like slaves.”

The woman shrugged her shoulders. “That’s all I know—his name.” He started speaking again, this time in English, with a clear way of expressing himself that felt fresh for gatherings in America, where labor intellectuals are rarely recognized. It surprised Janet and distracted her from the meaning of his words at first. “Labor,” she heard him say, “is the source of all wealth, and that wealth belongs to those who create it. The wage system needs to be abolished. You, the creators, must fight against these self-imposed masters until you reclaim what’s yours. You who work hard for nine hours and produce, let's say, nine dollars of wealth—do you actually get it? No, what you receive is barely enough to keep you and your family alive! The master, the capitalist, takes the rightful reward of your work and spends it on luxuries, fancy cars, big houses, and women, on food he can’t even eat, while you go hungry. Yes, you are slaves,” he shouted, “because you act like slaves.”

He waited, motionless and scornful, for the noise to die down. “Since I have come here to Hampton, I have heard some speak of the state, others of the unions. Yet the state is your enemy, it will not help you to gain your freedom. The legislature has shortened your hours,—but why? Because the politicians are afraid of you, and because they think you will be content with a little. And now that the masters have cut your wages, the state sends its soldiers to crush you. Only fifty cents, they say—only fifty cents most of you miss from your envelopes. What is fifty cents to them? But I who speak to you have been hungry, I know that fifty cents will buy ten loaves of bread, or three pounds of the neck of pork, or six quarts of milk for the babies. Fifty cents will help pay the rent of the rat-holes where you live.” Once more he was interrupted by angry shouts of approval. “And the labour unions, have they aided you? Why not? I will tell you why—because they are the servile instruments of the masters. The unions say that capital has rights, bargain with it, but for us there can be only one bargain, complete surrender of the tools to the workers. For the capitalists are parasites who suck your blood and your children's blood. From now on there can be no compromise, no truce, no peace until they are exterminated. It is war.” War! In Janet's soul the word resounded like a tocsin. And again, as when swept along East Street with the mob, that sense of identity with these people and their wrongs, of submergence with them in their cause possessed her. Despite her ancestry, her lot was cast with them. She, too, had been precariously close to poverty, had known the sordidness of life; she, too, and Lise and Hannah had been duped and cheated of the fairer things. Eagerly she had drunk in the vocabulary of that new and terrible philosophy. The master class must be exterminated! Was it not true, if she had been of that class, that Ditmar would not have dared to use and deceive her? Why had she never thought of these things before?... The light was beginning to fade, the great meeting was breaking up, and yet she lingered. At the foot of the bandstand steps, conversing with a small group of operatives that surrounded him, she perceived the man who had just spoken. And as she stood hesitating, gazing at him, a desire to hear more, to hear all of this creed he preached, that fed the fires in her soul, urged her forward. Her need, had she known it, was even greater than that of these toilers whom she now called comrades. Despite some qualifying reserve she felt, and which had had to do with the redness of his lips, he attracted her. He had a mind, an intellect, he must possess stores of the knowledge for which she thirsted; he appeared to her as one who had studied and travelled, who had ascended heights and gained the wider view denied her. A cynical cosmopolitanism would have left her cold, but here, apparently, was a cultivated man burning with a sense of the world's wrongs. Ditmar, who was to have led her out of captivity, had only thrust her the deeper into bondage.... She joined the group, halting on the edge of it, listening. Rolfe was arguing with a man about the labour unions, but almost at once she knew she had fixed his attention. From time to time, as he talked, his eyes sought hers boldly, and in their dark pupils were tiny points of light that stirred and confused her, made her wonder what was behind them, in his soul. When he had finished his argument, he singled her out.

He waited, still and disdainful, for the noise to settle down. “Since I arrived here in Hampton, I’ve heard some talk about the state, others about the unions. But the state is your enemy; it won't help you gain your freedom. The legislature has reduced your hours—but why? Because the politicians are afraid of you and think you’ll be satisfied with a little. And now that the bosses have slashed your wages, the state sends its soldiers to crush you. They say it’s only fifty cents—only fifty cents that most of you are missing from your paychecks. What’s fifty cents to them? But I, who speak to you, have been hungry. I know that fifty cents can buy ten loaves of bread or three pounds of pork neck or six quarts of milk for the babies. Fifty cents can help pay the rent for the tiny, awful places where you live.” Once more, he was interrupted by angry cheers of approval. “And the labor unions, have they helped you? Why not? I’ll tell you why—because they’re nothing but the subservient tools of the bosses. The unions claim that capital has rights and to negotiate with it, but for us, there can be only one agreement: complete surrender of the tools to the workers. Because capitalists are parasites who drain your blood and your children’s blood. From now on, there can be no compromise, no truce, no peace until they are wiped out. It is war.” War! In Janet's heart, the word resonated like an alarm bell. And again, as when she was swept down East Street with the crowd, she felt that connection with these people and their struggles, a sense of unity in their cause. Despite her background, she was with them. She, too, had been dangerously close to poverty and had experienced the harshness of life; she, too, along with Lise and Hannah, had been tricked and cheated out of better things. Eagerly, she absorbed the language of that new and fierce philosophy. The master class must be exterminated! Was it not true that if she had belonged to that class, Ditmar would not have dared to use and deceive her? Why hadn’t she thought about these things before?... The light was beginning to dim, the big meeting was breaking up, yet she lingered. At the bottom of the bandstand steps, talking with a small group of workers around him, she noticed the man who had just spoken. As she stood there hesitating, watching him, a desire to hear more, to learn all about this belief he preached, which fueled the fire in her heart, pushed her forward. Her need, if she had understood it, was even greater than that of these workers she now called comrades. Despite a hint of uncertainty she felt regarding the redness of his lips, she was drawn to him. He had a mind, an intellect; he must have a wealth of knowledge that she craved. To her, he seemed like someone who had studied and traveled, who had reached heights and gained insights that were denied to her. A cynical cosmopolitanism would have left her uninterested, but here was a cultured man filled with a passion for the world's injustices. Ditmar, who was supposed to free her from captivity, had only pushed her deeper into bondage.... She joined the group, pausing at the edge, listening. Rolfe was debating with a man about the labor unions, but she quickly realized that she had captured his attention. As he spoke, his gaze frequently sought hers boldly, and in his dark eyes were tiny points of light that stirred and confused her, making her wonder what lay behind them, within his soul. When he finished his argument, he focused on her.

“You do not work in the mills?” he asked.

“You don’t work in the mills?” he asked.

“No, I'm a stenographer—or I was one.”

“No, I’m a stenographer—or at least I used to be.”

“And now?”

"What's next?"

“I've given up my place.”

“I've given up my spot.”

“You want to join us?”

“Do you want to join us?”

“I was interested in what you said. I never heard anything like it before.”

“I found what you said really interesting. I’ve never heard anything like it before.”

He looked at her intently.

He stared at her intently.

“Come, let us walk a little way,” he said. And she went along by his side, through the Common, feeling a neophyte's excitement in the freemasonry, the contempt for petty conventions of this newly achieved doctrine of brotherhood. “I will give you things to read, you shall be one of us.”

“Come, let’s walk for a bit,” he said. And she walked alongside him, through the Common, feeling a newcomer’s thrill at the sense of belonging, dismissing the small rules of this newly embraced idea of brotherhood. “I’ll give you stuff to read, you’ll be one of us.”

“I'm afraid I shouldn't understand them,” Janet replied. “I've read so little.”

“I'm afraid I shouldn't understand them,” Janet replied. “I've read so little.”

“Oh, you will understand,” he assured her, easily. “There is too much learning, too much reason and intelligence in the world, too little impulse and feeling, intuition. Where do reason and intelligence lead us? To selfishness, to thirst for power-straight into the master class. They separate us from the mass of humanity. No, our fight is against those who claim more enlightenment than their fellowmen, who control the public schools and impose reason on our children, because reason leads to submission, makes us content with our station in life. The true syndicalist is an artist, a revolutionist!” he cried.

“Oh, you’ll see,” he said confidently. “There’s too much learning, too much logic and intelligence in the world, and not enough impulse and feeling, not enough intuition. Where do logic and intelligence take us? To selfishness, to the desire for power—right into the ruling class. They push us away from the rest of humanity. No, our struggle is against those who think they’re more enlightened than others, who run the public schools and force reason on our kids, because reason leads to submission and makes us accept our place in life. The true syndicalist is an artist, a revolutionary!” he exclaimed.

Janet found this bewildering and yet through it seemed to shine for her a gleam of light. Her excitement grew. Never before had she been in the presence of one who talked like this, with such assurance and ease. And the fact that he despised knowledge, yet possessed it, lent him glamour.

Janet found this confusing, yet it felt like a light was shining for her through it. Her excitement grew. She had never been around someone who spoke like this, with such confidence and ease. The fact that he looked down on knowledge but still had it made him seem intriguing.

“But you have studied!” she exclaimed.

“But you’ve studied!” she said.

“Oh yes, I have studied,” he replied, with a touch of weariness, “only to learn that life is simple, after all, and that what is needed for the social order is simple. We have only to take what belongs to us, we who work, to follow our feelings, our inclinations.”

“Oh yes, I’ve studied,” he replied, with a hint of exhaustion, “only to find out that life is simple, after all, and that what’s needed for the social order is straightforward. We just have to take what belongs to us, we who work, and follow our feelings, our instincts.”

“You would take possession of the mills?” she asked.

“You're planning to take over the mills?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said quickly, “of all wealth, and of the government. There would be no government—we should not need it. A little courage is all that is necessary, and we come into our own. You are a stenographer, you say. But you—you are not content, I can see it in your face, in your eyes. You have cause to hate them, too, these masters, or you would not have been herein this place, to-day. Is it not so?”

“Yes,” he said quickly, “of all wealth, and of the government. There wouldn’t be any government—we wouldn’t need it. A little courage is all that’s required, and we take control of our lives. You’re a stenographer, you say. But you—you’re not satisfied, I can see it in your face, in your eyes. You have reasons to hate them, too, these masters, or you wouldn’t be here in this place today. Isn’t that right?”

She shivered, but was silent.

She shivered but stayed silent.

“Is it not so?” he repeated. “They have wronged you, too, perhaps,—they have wronged us all, but some are too stupid, too cowardly to fight and crush them. Christians and slaves submit. The old religion teaches that the world is cruel for most of us, but if we are obedient and humble we shall be rewarded in heaven.” Rolfe laughed. “The masters approve of that teaching. They would not have it changed. But for us it is war. We'll strike and keep on striking, we'll break their machinery, spoil their mills and factories, and drive them out. And even if we do not win at once, it is better to suffer and die fighting than to have the life ground out of us—is it not?”

“Isn't that right?” he said again. “They've wronged you too, maybe—they've wronged all of us, but some are too ignorant, too afraid to stand up and fight back. Christians and slaves just accept it. The old religion teaches that the world is harsh for most of us, but if we are obedient and humble, we'll be rewarded in heaven.” Rolfe laughed. “The masters like that teaching. They want it to stay the same. But for us, it's war. We'll hit back and keep hitting, we'll break their machines, ruin their mills and factories, and drive them away. And even if we don't win right away, it's better to suffer and die fighting than to have our lives slowly taken from us—don't you think?”

“Yes, it is better!” she agreed. The passion in her voice did not escape him.

“Yes, it’s better!” she agreed. The passion in her voice didn’t go unnoticed by him.

“Some day, perhaps sooner than we think, we shall have the true Armageddon, the general strike, when the last sleeping toiler shall have aroused himself from his lethargy to rise up and come into his inheritance.” He seemed to detach himself from her, his eyes became more luminous.

“Someday, maybe sooner than we realize, we will experience the real Armageddon, the massive strike, when the last asleep worker finally wakes up from his sluggishness to stand up and claim what’s rightfully his.” He appeared to pull away from her, his eyes growing brighter.

“'Like unseen music in the night,'—so Sorel writes about it. They may scoff at it, the wise ones, but it will come. 'Like music in the night!' You respond to that!”

“'Like unseen music in the night,' Sorel describes it. The wise ones may mock it, but it will come. 'Like music in the night!' You feel that!”

Again she was silent. They had walked on, through familiar streets that now seemed strange.

Again she was silent. They had walked on, through familiar streets that now felt strange.

“You respond—I can tell,” he said. “And yet, you are not like these others, like me, even. You are an American. And yet you are not like most of your countrywomen.”

“You're responding—I can tell,” he said. “And still, you're not like these others, not like me, either. You're an American. And yet you don't resemble most of your fellow women.”

“Why do you say that?”

"Why do you think that?"

“I will tell you. Because they are cold, most of them, and trivial, they do not feel. But you—you can feel, you can love and hate. You look calm and cold, but you are not—I knew it when I looked at you, when you came up to me.”

“I'll tell you this. Most of them are cold and shallow; they don't feel anything. But you—you can feel, you can love and hate. You appear calm and distant, but you're not—I realized it when I saw you, when you approached me.”

She did not know whether to resent or welcome his clairvoyance, his assumption of intimacy, his air of appropriation. But her curiosity was tingling.

She didn't know whether to be annoyed or thankful for his insight, his assumption of closeness, his vibe of taking over. But her curiosity was buzzing.

“And you?” she asked. “Your name is Rolfe, isn't it?”

“And you?” she asked. “Your name is Rolfe, right?”

He assented. “And yours?”

He agreed. “And yours?”

She told him.

She texted him.

“You have been in America long—your family?”

"You've been in America for a while—your family?"

“Very long,” she said. “But you speak Italian, and Rolfe isn't an Italian name.”

“Very long,” she said. “But you speak Italian, and Rolfe isn’t an Italian name.”

“My father was an Englishman, an artist, who lived in Italy—my mother a peasant woman from Lombardy, such as these who come to work in the mills. When she was young she was beautiful—like a Madonna by an old master.”

“My father was an Englishman, an artist, who lived in Italy—my mother a peasant woman from Lombardy, like those who come to work in the mills. When she was young, she was beautiful—like a Madonna by an old master.”

“An old master?”

“An old master?”

“The old masters are the great painters who lived in Italy four hundred years ago. I was named after one of them—the greatest. I am called Leonard. He was Leonardo da Vinci.”

“The old masters are the great painters who lived in Italy four hundred years ago. I was named after one of them—the greatest. I am called Leonard. He was Leonardo da Vinci.”

The name, as Rolfe pronounced it, stirred her. And art, painting! It was a realm unknown to her, and yet the very suggestion of it evoked yearnings. And she recalled a picture in the window of Hartmann's book-store, a coloured print before which she used to stop on her way to and from the office, the copy of a landscape by a California artist. The steep hillside in the foreground was spread with the misty green of olive trees, and beyond—far beyond—a snow-covered peak, like some high altar, flamed red in the sunset. She had not been able to express her feeling for this picture, it had filled her with joy and sadness. Once she had ventured to enter and ask its price—ten dollars. And then came a morning when she had looked for it, and it was gone.

The way Rolfe said her name stirred something inside her. And art, painting! It was a whole world she didn’t know, yet just the thought of it made her long for more. She remembered a picture in the window of Hartmann's bookstore, a colorful print she would stop to admire on her way to and from the office, a landscape by a California artist. The steep hillside in the foreground was covered in misty green olive trees, and beyond—far beyond—a snow-capped peak, like a high altar, glowed red in the sunset. She could never find the right words to describe how she felt about that picture; it filled her with both joy and sadness. She once had the courage to go in and ask its price—ten dollars. Then one morning, she went looking for it, but it was gone.

“And your father—did he paint beautiful pictures, too?”

“And your dad—did he paint beautiful pictures, too?”

“Ah, he was too much of a socialist. He was always away whey I was a child, and after my mother's death he used to take me with him. When I was seventeen we went to Milan to take part in the great strike, and there I saw the soldiers shooting down the workers by the hundreds, putting them in prison by the thousands. Then I went to live in England, among the socialists there, and I learned the printer's trade. When I first came to this country I was on a labour paper in New York, I set up type, I wrote articles, and once in a while I addressed meetings on the East Side. But even before I left London I had read a book on Syndicalism by one of the great Frenchmen, and after a while I began to realize that the proletariat would never get anywhere through socialism.”

“Ah, he was too much of a socialist. He was always away when I was a child, and after my mother's death, he used to take me with him. When I was seventeen, we went to Milan to participate in the big strike, and there I saw soldiers shooting down workers by the hundreds, imprisoning them by the thousands. Then I moved to England, among the socialists there, and I learned the printer's trade. When I first came to this country, I worked at a labor newspaper in New York; I set type, wrote articles, and occasionally spoke at meetings on the East Side. But even before I left London, I had read a book on Syndicalism by one of the great French thinkers, and gradually I started to realize that the working class would never make progress through socialism.”

“The proletariat?” The word was new to Janet's ear.

“The proletariat?” The word was unfamiliar to Janet.

“The great mass of the workers, the oppressed, the people you saw here to-day. Socialism is not for them. Socialism—political socialism—betrays them into the hands of the master class. Direct action is the thing, the general strike, war,—the new creed, the new religion that will bring salvation. I joined the Industrial Workers of the World that is the American organization of Syndicalism. I went west, to Colorado and California and Oregon, I preached to the workers wherever there was an uprising, I met the leaders, Ritter and Borkum and Antonelli and Jastro and Nellie Bond, I was useful to them, I understand Syndicalism as they do not. And now we are here, to sow the seed in the East. Come,” he said, slipping his arm through hers, “I will take you to Headquarters, I will enlist you, you shall be my recruit. I will give you the cause, the religion you need.”

“The large number of workers, the oppressed, the people you saw here today. Socialism isn’t meant for them. Political socialism lets them fall into the hands of the ruling class. Direct action is what matters—general strikes, conflict—the new belief, the new movement that will lead to salvation. I joined the Industrial Workers of the World, which is the American organization of Syndicalism. I traveled to Colorado, California, and Oregon, preaching to workers wherever there was a revolt. I met leaders like Ritter, Borkum, Antonelli, Jastro, and Nellie Bond. I was valuable to them; I understand Syndicalism in a way they don’t. And now we’re here to plant the seeds in the East. Come,” he said, slipping his arm through hers. “I’ll take you to Headquarters, I’ll enlist you; you’ll be my recruit. I’ll give you the cause, the mission you need.”

She longed to go, and yet she drew back, puzzled. The man fired and fascinated her, but there were reservations, apprehensions concerning him, felt rather than reasoned. Because of her state of rebellion, of her intense desire to satisfy in action the emotion aroused by a sense of wrong, his creed had made a violent appeal, but in his voice, in his eyes, in his manner she had been quick to detect a personal, sexual note that disturbed and alarmed her, that implied in him a lack of unity.

She wanted to go, but she hesitated, feeling confused. The man intrigued and captivated her, but she had reservations and worries about him, mostly feelings rather than logical thoughts. Due to her rebellious state and her strong desire to act on the emotions stirred by a sense of injustice, his beliefs had struck her powerfully. However, she quickly sensed a personal, sexual undertone in his voice, his eyes, and his demeanor that unsettled and worried her, suggesting a lack of harmony within him.

“I can't, to-night,” she said. “I must go home—my mother is all alone. But I want to help, I want to do something.”

“I can't tonight,” she said. “I have to go home—my mom is all alone. But I want to help, I want to do something.”

They were standing on a corner, under a street lamp. And she averted her eyes from his glance.

They were standing on a corner, under a streetlight. And she looked away from his gaze.

“Then come to-morrow,” he said eagerly. “You know where Headquarters is, in the Franco-Belgian Hall?”

“Then come tomorrow,” he said eagerly. “You know where Headquarters is, in the Franco-Belgian Hall?”

“What could I do?” she asked.

“What can I do?” she asked.

“You? You could help in many ways—among the women. Do you know what picketing is?”

“You? You could help in many ways—among the women. Do you know what picketing is?”

“You mean keeping the operatives out of the mills?”

"You mean keeping the workers out of the factories?"

“Yes, in the morning, when they go to work. And out of the Chippering Mill, especially. Ditmar, the agent of that mill, is the ablest of the lot, I'm told. He's the man we want to cripple.”

“Yes, in the morning, when they head to work. And out of the Chippering Mill, especially. Ditmar, the agent of that mill, is the most competent of them all, I’ve heard. He’s the guy we want to take down.”

“Cripple!” exclaimed Janet.

"Disabled!" exclaimed Janet.

“Oh, I don't mean to harm him personally.” Rolfe did not seem to notice her tone. “But he intends to crush the strike, and I understand he's importing scabs here to finish out an order—a big order. If it weren't for him, we'd have an easier fight; he stiffens up the others. There's always one man like that, in every place. And what we want to do is to make him shut down, especially.”

“Oh, I don't want to hurt him personally.” Rolfe didn't seem to pick up on her tone. “But he plans to break the strike, and I hear he's bringing in replacements to fulfill a big order. If it weren't for him, we'd have an easier battle; he toughens up the others. There's always one guy like that in every place. And what we need to do is make him back off, especially.”

“I see,” said Janet.

"I get it," said Janet.

“You'll come to Headquarters?” Rolfe repeated.

“You're going to Headquarters?” Rolfe repeated.

“Yes, I'll come, to-morrow,” she promised.

“Yes, I’ll come tomorrow,” she promised.

After she had left him she walked rapidly through several streets, not heeding her direction—such was the driving power of the new ideas he had given her. Certain words and phrases he had spoken rang in her head, and like martial music kept pace with her steps. She strove to remember all that he had said, to grasp its purport; and because it seemed recondite, cosmic, it appealed to her and excited her the more. And he, the man himself, had exerted a kind of hypnotic force that partially had paralyzed her faculties and aroused her fears while still in his presence: her first feeling in escaping had been one of relief—and then she began to regret not having gone to Headquarters. Hadn't she been foolish? In the retrospect, the elements in him that had disturbed her were less disquieting, his intellectual fascination was enhanced: and in that very emancipation from cant and convention, characteristic of the Order to which he belonged, had lain much of his charm. She had attracted him as a woman, there was no denying that. He, who had studied and travelled and known life in many lands, had discerned in her, Janet Bumpus, some quality to make him desire her, acknowledge her as a comrade! Tremblingly she exulted in the possession of that quality—whatever it might be. Ditmar, too, had perceived it! He had not known how to value it. With this thought came a flaming suggestion—Ditmar should see her with this man Rolfe, she would make him scorch with the fires of jealousy. Ditmar should know that she had joined his enemies, the Industrial Workers of the World. Of the world! Her shackles had been cast off at last!... And then, suddenly, she felt tired. The prospect of returning to Fillmore Street, to the silent flat—made the more silent by her mother's tragic presence—overwhelmed her. The ache in her heart began to throb again. How could she wait until the dawn of another day?...

After she left him, she quickly walked through several streets, not paying attention to where she was going—such was the powerful influence of the new ideas he had given her. Certain words and phrases he had said echoed in her mind, keeping time with her steps like marching music. She tried to remember everything he had said, to understand its meaning; and because it felt profound and cosmic, it fascinated and excited her even more. He himself had used a kind of hypnotic power that had partly paralyzed her thoughts and stirred her fears while she was with him: her first reaction upon escaping had been relief—and then she started to regret not going to Headquarters. Hadn’t she been foolish? Looking back, the parts of him that had disturbed her were less unsettling, his intellectual charm was even stronger: and in that very freedom from pretentiousness and convention, which defined the Order he belonged to, lay much of his appeal. She had attracted him as a woman, that was undeniable. He, who had studied and traveled and experienced life in many places, had seen in her, Janet Bumpus, some quality that made him want her, recognize her as a peer! Trembling, she reveled in having that quality—whatever it was. Ditmar had noticed it too! He hadn’t understood how to value it. With that thought came a fiery idea—Ditmar should see her with this man Rolfe; she would make him burn with jealousy. Ditmar should know she had joined his rivals, the Industrial Workers of the World. Of the world! Her chains had finally been broken!... And then, suddenly, she felt exhausted. The thought of going back to Fillmore Street, to the silent apartment—made even more silent by her mother’s tragic presence—overwhelmed her. The ache in her heart started to throb again. How could she wait until the sunrise of another day?...

In the black hours of the morning, with the siren dinning in her ears a hoarse call to war, Janet leaped from her bed and began to dress. There is a degree of cold so sharp that it seems actually to smell, and as she stole down the stairs and out of the door she shivered, assailed by a sense of loneliness and fear. Yet an insistent voice urged her on, whispering that to remain at home, inactive, was to go mad; salvation and relief lay in plunging into the struggle, in contributing her share toward retribution and victory. Victory! In Faber Street the light of the electric arcs tinged the snow with blue, and the flamboyant advertisements of breakfast foods, cigarettes and ales seemed but the mockery of an activity now unrealizable. The groups and figures scattered here and there farther down the street served only to exaggerate its wide emptiness. What could these do, what could she accomplish against the mighty power of the mills? Gradually, as she stood gazing, she became aware of a beating of feet upon the snow; over her shoulder she caught the gleam of steel. A squad of soldiers muffled in heavy capes and woolen caps was marching along the car-tracks. She followed them. At the corner of West Street, in obedience to a sharp command she saw them halt, turn, and advance toward a small crowd gathered there. It scattered, only to collect again when the soldiers had passed on. Janet joined them. She heard men cursing the soldiers. The women stood a little aside; some were stamping to keep warm, and one, with a bundle in her arms which Janet presently perceived to be a child, sank down on a stone step and remained there, crouching, resigned.

In the early hours of the morning, with the siren blaring in her ears like a rough call to action, Janet jumped out of bed and started getting dressed. There’s a certain chill so intense it feels almost tangible, and as she crept down the stairs and out the door, she trembled, overwhelmed by a sense of isolation and fear. Yet a persistent voice pushed her forward, whispering that staying home and doing nothing would drive her crazy; salvation and relief were found in diving into the struggle, in doing her part for retribution and victory. Victory! On Faber Street, the glow from the electric lights cast a blue tint on the snow, and the flashy ads for breakfast foods, cigarettes, and beers felt like a cruel joke in a time when such normal activities seemed out of reach. The scattered groups and individuals further down the street only highlighted its vast emptiness. What could those people do? What could she do against the overwhelming strength of the mills? Gradually, as she stood watching, she became aware of footsteps crunching on the snow; glancing over her shoulder, she caught a glimpse of steel. A squad of soldiers, wrapped in heavy capes and woolen caps, was marching along the train tracks. She decided to follow them. At the corner of West Street, at a sharp command, she saw them stop, turn, and move toward a small crowd gathered there. The crowd split up, only to regroup once the soldiers had passed. Janet joined them. She heard men shouting anger at the soldiers. The women stood a bit apart; some were stamping their feet to stay warm, and one woman, holding what Janet soon realized was a child, sank down onto a stone step and stayed there, crouched and resigned.

“We gotta right to stay here, in the street. We gotta right to live, I guess.” The girl's teeth were chattering, but she spoke with such vehemence and spirit as to attract Janet's attention. “You worked in the Chippering, like me—yes?” she asked.

“We have a right to stay here, on the street. We have a right to live, I suppose.” The girl's teeth were chattering, but she spoke with such passion and energy that it caught Janet's attention. “You worked at the Chippering, just like me—right?” she asked.

Janet nodded. The faded, lemon-coloured shawl the girl had wrapped about her head emphasized the dark beauty of her oval face. She smiled, and her white teeth were fairly dazzling. Impulsively she thrust her arm through Janet's.

Janet nodded. The worn, lemon-colored shawl the girl had wrapped around her head highlighted the dark beauty of her oval face. She smiled, and her white teeth were quite dazzling. Impulsively, she slipped her arm through Janet's.

“You American—you comrade, you come to help?” she asked.

“You American—you buddy, you here to help?” she asked.

“I've never done any picketing.”

“I've never picketed before.”

“I showa you.”

“I'll show you.”

The dawn had begun to break, revealing little by little the outlines of cruel, ugly buildings, the great mill looming darkly at the end of the street, and Janet found it scarcely believable that only a little while ago she had hurried thither in the mornings with anticipation and joy in her heart, eager to see Ditmar, to be near him! The sight of two policemen hurrying toward them from the direction of the canal aroused her. With sullen murmurs the group started to disperse, but the woman with the baby, numb with cold, was slow in rising, and one of the policemen thrust out his club threateningly.

The dawn was starting to break, slowly revealing the outlines of harsh, unattractive buildings, the large mill darkly looming at the end of the street. Janet could hardly believe that just a little while ago she had hurried there in the mornings with excitement and happiness in her heart, eager to see Ditmar and be close to him! The sight of two policemen rushing toward them from the direction of the canal caught her attention. With gloomy murmurs, the group began to scatter, but the woman with the baby, shivering with cold, was slow to get up, and one of the policemen threatened her with his club.

“Move on, you can't sit here,” he said.

“Move on, you can't just sit here,” he said.

With a lithe movement like the spring of a cat the Italian girl flung herself between them—a remarkable exhibition of spontaneous inflammability; her eyes glittered like the points of daggers, and, as though they had been dagger points, the policeman recoiled a little. The act, which was absolutely natural, superb, electrified Janet, restored in an instant her own fierceness of spirit. The girl said something swiftly, in Italian, and helped the woman to rise, paying no more attention to the policeman. Janet walked on, but she had not covered half the block before she was overtaken by the girl; her anger had come and gone in a flash, her vivacity had returned, her vitality again found expression in an abundant good nature and good will. She asked Janet's name, volunteering the information that her own was Gemma, that she was a “fine speeder” in the Chippering Mill, where she had received nearly seven dollars a week. She had been among the first to walk out.

With a graceful movement like a cat, the Italian girl jumped between them—a striking display of spontaneous energy; her eyes sparkled like the tips of daggers, and, just like those dagger tips, the policeman flinched a little. The act, which was completely natural and impressive, sparked something in Janet, instantly bringing back her own fierce spirit. The girl quickly said something in Italian and helped the woman get up, ignoring the policeman entirely. Janet continued walking, but she hadn’t gone half a block before the girl caught up with her; her anger had vanished in an instant, her liveliness returned, and her energy once again expressed itself in a warm good nature and goodwill. She asked Janet for her name, sharing that hers was Gemma, that she was a “great worker” at the Chippering Mill, where she earned nearly seven dollars a week. She had been one of the first to walk out.

“Why did you walk out?” asked Janet curiously.

“Why did you leave?” Janet asked, curious.

“Why? I get mad when I know that my wages is cut. I want the money—I get married.”

“Why? I get angry when I find out that my pay is cut. I want the money—I’m getting married.”

“Is that why you are striking?” asked Janet curiously.

“Is that why you’re on strike?” Janet asked, curious.

“That is why—of course.”

"That's why—of course."

“Then you haven't heard any of the speakers? They say it is for a cause—the workers are striking for freedom, some day they will own the mills. I heard a man named Rolfe yesterday—”

“Then you haven't heard any of the speakers? They say it's for a cause—the workers are on strike for freedom, and someday they'll own the mills. I heard a guy named Rolfe speak yesterday—”

The girl gave her a radiant smile.

The girl flashed her a bright smile.

“Rolfe! It is beautiful, what Rolfe said. You think so? I think so. I am for the cause, I hate the capitalist. We will win, and get more money, until we have all the money. We will be rich. And you, why do you strike?”

“Rolfe! It’s beautiful, what Rolfe said. Do you think so? I think so. I’m all for the cause, I hate the capitalist. We will win and make more money, until we have it all. We’ll be rich. And you, why are you striking?”

“I was mad, too,” Janet replied simply.

“I was angry, too,” Janet replied simply.

“Revenge!” exclaimed the girl, glittering again. “I understan'. Here come the scabs! Now I show you.”

“Revenge!” the girl exclaimed, shimmering once more. “I get it. Here come the scabs! Now I'll show you.”

The light had grown, but the stores were still closed and barred. Along Faber Street, singly or in little groups, anxiously glancing around them, behind them, came the workers who still clung desperately to their jobs. Gemma fairly darted at two girls who sought the edge of the sidewalk, seizing them by the sleeves, and with piteous expressions they listened while she poured forth on them a stream of Italian. After a moment one tore herself away, but the other remained and began to ask questions. Presently she turned and walked slowly away in the direction from which she had come.

The light had increased, but the shops were still closed and locked up. Along Faber Street, either alone or in small groups, nervously looking around and behind them, came the workers who were still desperately holding onto their jobs. Gemma quickly approached two girls who were trying to stay close to the edge of the sidewalk, grabbing them by the sleeves, and with desperate expressions, they listened as she started talking to them in a flood of Italian. After a moment, one managed to pull away, but the other stayed and began to ask questions. Soon after, she turned and walked slowly back in the direction she had come from.

“I get her,” exclaimed Gemma, triumphantly.

"I get her," Gemma exclaimed, triumphantly.

“What did you say?” asked Janet.

“What did you say?” asked Janet.

“Listen—that she take the bread from our mouths, she is traditore—scab. We strike for them, too, is it not so?”

“Listen—she’s taking the bread out of our mouths; she’s a traitor—scab. We’re striking for them too, right?”

“It is no use for them to work for wages that starve. We win the strike, we get good wages for all. Here comes another—she is a Jewess—you try, you spik.”

“It’s pointless for them to work for pay that barely keeps them alive. If we win the strike, we’ll secure good wages for everyone. Here comes another one—she’s Jewish—you give it a shot, you speak.”

Janet failed with the Jewess, who obstinately refused to listen or reply as the two walked along with her, one on either side. Near West Street they spied a policeman, and desisted. Up and down Faber Street, everywhere, the game went on: but the police were watchful, and once a detachment of militia passed. The picketing had to be done quickly, in the few minutes that were to elapse before the gates should close. Janet's blood ran faster, she grew excited, absorbed, bolder as she perceived the apologetic attitude of the “scabs” and she began to despise them with Gemma's heartiness; and soon she had lost all sense of surprise at finding herself arguing, pleading, appealing to several women in turn, fluently, in the language of the industrial revolution. Some—because she was an American—examined her with furtive curiosity; others pretended not to understand, accelerating their pace. She gained no converts that morning, but one girl, pale, anemic with high cheek bones evidently a Slav—listened to her intently.

Janet struggled with the Jewish woman, who stubbornly refused to listen or respond as they walked together, one on each side. Near West Street, they noticed a policeman and stopped. Up and down Faber Street, the activity continued everywhere: but the police were alert, and a group of militia passed by. They had to act quickly with the picketing in the few minutes before the gates would close. Janet's heart raced; she became excited, focused, and bolder as she noticed how apologetic the "scabs" were, and she began to share Gemma's strong feelings of contempt for them. Soon, she lost any sense of surprise at finding herself arguing, pleading, and appealing to several women in turn, fluently using the language of the industrial revolution. Some—because she was American—regarded her with secret curiosity; others pretended not to understand and picked up their pace. She didn’t win over anyone that morning, but one girl, pale and anemic with high cheekbones who was clearly Slavic, listened to her intently.

“I gotta right to work,” she said.

“I have a right to work,” she said.

“Not if others will starve because you work,” objected Janet.

“Not if others will go hungry because you work,” Janet argued.

“If I don't work I starve,” said the girl.

“If I don't work, I’ll starve,” said the girl.

“No, the Committee will take care of you—there will be food for all. How much do you get now?”

“No, the Committee will take care of you—there will be food for everyone. How much do you get now?”

“Four dollar and a half.”

"Four and a half dollars."

“You starve now,” Janet declared contemptuously. “The quicker you join us, the sooner you'll get a living wage.”

“You're starving now,” Janet said with disdain. “The sooner you join us, the sooner you'll get a decent paycheck.”

The girl was not quite convinced. She stood for a while undecided, and then ran abruptly off in the direction of West Street. Janet sought for others, but they had ceased coming; only the scattered, prowling picketers remained.

The girl wasn't really convinced. She stood there for a bit, unsure, and then suddenly took off toward West Street. Janet looked for others, but they had stopped showing up; only the few wandering picketers were left.

Over the black rim of the Clarendon Mill to the eastward the sky had caught fire. The sun had risen, the bells were ringing riotously, resonantly in the clear, cold air. Another working day had begun.

Over the black edge of the Clarendon Mill to the east, the sky was ablaze. The sun had come up, and the bells were ringing joyfully, echoing in the crisp, cold air. Another workday had started.

Janet, benumbed with cold, yet agitated and trembling because of her unwonted experience of the morning, made her way back to Fillmore Street. She was prepared to answer any questions her mother might ask; as they ate their dismal breakfast, and Hannah asked no questions, she longed to blurt out where she had been, to announce that she had cast her lot with the strikers, the foreigners, to defend them and declare that these were not to blame for the misfortunes of the family, but men like Ditmar and the owners of the mills, the capitalists. Her mother, she reflected bitterly, had never once betrayed any concern as to her shattered happiness. But gradually, as from time to time she glanced covertly at Hannah's face, her resentment gave way to apprehension. Hannah did not seem now even to be aware of her presence; this persistent apathy filled her with a dread she did not dare to acknowledge.

Janet, numb with cold yet agitated and trembling from her unusual experience that morning, made her way back to Fillmore Street. She was ready to answer any questions her mother might have; as they ate their gloomy breakfast and Hannah asked nothing, she felt a strong urge to blurt out where she had been, to announce that she had joined the strikers, the outsiders, to defend them and state that they weren’t responsible for the family's troubles, but people like Ditmar and the mill owners, the capitalists. Her mother, she thought bitterly, had never shown any concern for her broken happiness. But gradually, as she discreetly glanced at Hannah's face from time to time, her resentment shifted to anxiety. Hannah didn’t seem to even recognize she was there; this constant indifference filled her with a fear she didn’t dare to confront.

“Mother!” she cried at last.

“Mom!” she cried at last.

Hannah started. “Have you finished?” she asked.

Hannah jumped in. “Are you done?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“You've b'en out in the cold, and you haven't eaten much.” Janet fought back her tears. “Oh yes, I have,” she managed to reply, convinced of the futility of speech, of all attempts to arouse her mother to a realization of the situation. Perhaps—though her heart contracted at the thought perhaps it was a merciful thing! But to live, day after day, in the presence of that comfortless apathy!... Later in the morning she went out, to walk the streets, and again in the afternoon; and twice she turned her face eastward, in the direction of the Franco-Belgian Hall. Her courage failed her. How would these foreigners and the strange leaders who had come to organize them receive her, Ditmar's stenographer? She would have to tell them she was Ditmar's stenographer; they would find it out. And now she was filled with doubts about Rolfe. Had he really thought she could be of use to them! Around the Common, in front of the City Hall men went about their affairs alertly, or stopped one another to talk about the strike. In Faber Street, indeed, an air of suppressed excitement prevailed, newsboys were shouting out extras; but business went on as though nothing had happened to disturb it. There was, however, the spectacle, unusual at this time of day, of operatives mingling with the crowd, while policemen stood watchfully at the corners; a company of soldiers marched by, drawing the people in silence to the curb. Janet scanned the faces of these idle operatives; they seemed for the most part either calm or sullen, wanting the fire and passion of the enthusiasts who had come out to picket in the early hours of the day; she sought vainly for the Italian girl with whom she had made friends. Despondency grew in her, a sense of isolation, of lacking any one, now, to whom she might turn, and these feelings were intensified by the air of confidence prevailing here. The strike was crushed, injustice and wrong had triumphed—would always triumph. In front of the Banner office she heard a man say to an acquaintance who had evidently just arrived in town:—“The Chippering? Sure, that's running. By to-morrow Ditmar'll have a full force there. Now that the militia has come, I guess we've got this thing scotched...”

“You've been out in the cold, and you haven't eaten much.” Janet fought back her tears. “Oh yes, I have,” she managed to reply, feeling the hopelessness of talking, of trying to get her mother to see the reality of the situation. Maybe—though it hurt to think this—maybe it was a blessing! But to live, day after day, in the face of that heartbreaking indifference!... Later in the morning, she went out to walk the streets, and again in the afternoon; and twice she faced east, towards the Franco-Belgian Hall. Her courage faltered. How would these foreigners and the unfamiliar leaders who had come to organize them treat her, Ditmar's stenographer? She would have to tell them she was Ditmar's stenographer; they would find out. And now she was filled with doubts about Rolfe. Did he really think she could help them? Around the Common, in front of City Hall, men went about their business briskly, or stopped to chat about the strike. On Faber Street, there was a palpable sense of excitement, with newsboys shouting out extras; but business continued as if nothing had disrupted it. However, there was the unusual sight, at this time of day, of workers mingling with the crowd, while police stood watchfully at the corners; a group of soldiers marched by, silently urging people to the curb. Janet scanned the faces of these idle workers; most seemed either calm or sullen, lacking the fire and passion of the enthusiastic picketers who had come out early that morning; she searched in vain for the Italian girl she had befriended. Despair grew within her, a feeling of isolation, of having no one to turn to, and these emotions were intensified by the prevailing air of confidence. The strike was defeated, injustice and wrongdoing had prevailed—would always prevail. In front of the Banner office, she heard a man tell an acquaintance who had obviously just arrived in town: “The Chippering? Sure, that's running. By tomorrow, Ditmar will have a full crew there. Now that the militia has arrived, I guess we've got this thing under control...”

Just how and when that order and confidence of Faber Street began to be permeated by disquietude and alarm, Janet could not have said. Something was happening, somewhere—or about to happen. An obscure, apparently telepathic process was at work. People began to hurry westward, a few had abandoned the sidewalk and were running; while other pedestrians, more timid, were equally concerned to turn and hasten in the opposite direction. At the corner of West Street was gathering a crowd that each moment grew larger and larger, despite the efforts of the police to disperse it. These were strikers, angry strikers. They blocked the traffic, halted the clanging trolleys, surged into the mouth of West Street, booing and cursing at the soldiers whose threatening line of bayonets stretched across that thoroughfare half-way down toward the canal, guarding the detested Chippering Mill. Bordering West Street, behind the company's lodging-houses on the canal, were certain low buildings, warehouses, and on their roofs tense figures could be seen standing out against the sky. The vanguard of the mob, thrust on by increasing pressure from behind, tumbled backward the thin cordon of police, drew nearer and nearer the bayonets, while the soldiers grimly held their ground. A voice was heard on the roof, a woman in the front rank of the mob gave a warning shriek, and two swift streams of icy water burst forth from the warehouse parapet, tearing the snow from the cobbles, flying in heavy, stinging spray as it advanced and mowed the strikers down and drove them like flies toward Faber Street. Screams of fright, curses of defiance and hate mingled with the hissing of the water and the noise of its impact with the ground—like the tearing of heavy sail-cloth. Then, from somewhere near the edge of the mob, came a single, sharp detonation, quickly followed by another—below the watchmen on the roof a window crashed. The nozzles on the roof were raised, their streams, sweeping around in a great semi-circle, bowled down the rioters below the tell-tale wisps of smoke, and no sooner had the avalanche of water passed than the policemen who, forewarned, had sought refuge along the walls, rushed forward and seized a man who lay gasping on the snow. Dazed, half drowned, he had dropped his pistol. They handcuffed him and dragged him away through the ranks of the soldiers, which opened for him to pass. The mob, including those who had been flung down, bruised and drenched, and who had painfully got to their feet again, had backed beyond the reach of the water, and for a while held that ground, until above its hoarse, defiant curses was heard, from behind, the throbbing of drums.

Just how and when the order and confidence of Faber Street started to be filled with unease and fear, Janet couldn't say. Something was happening somewhere—or it was about to happen. An unclear, seemingly telepathic process was at work. People began to rush westward; some had left the sidewalk and were running, while other pedestrians, more timid, were just as concerned and turned to hurry in the opposite direction. At the corner of West Street, a crowd was gathering that grew larger with every moment, despite the police's efforts to break it up. These were strikers, angry strikers. They blocked traffic, halted the noisy trolleys, surged into West Street, booing and cursing at the soldiers whose threatening line of bayonets stretched halfway down the street toward the canal, guarding the hated Chippering Mill. Along West Street, behind the company’s lodging houses by the canal, were some low buildings and warehouses, and on their roofs, tense figures stood out against the sky. The front of the mob, pushed on by increasing pressure from behind, knocked back the thin line of police, drew closer and closer to the bayonets, while the soldiers held their ground grimly. A voice was heard from the roof; a woman in the front of the mob let out a warning scream, and two swift streams of icy water burst from the warehouse parapet, tearing the snow from the cobblestones and flying in heavy, stinging spray as it advanced, mowing down the strikers and driving them like flies toward Faber Street. Screams of fear, curses of defiance and hatred mixed with the hissing of the water and the noise of its impact with the ground—like the ripping of heavy sailcloth. Then, from near the edge of the mob, a single sharp explosion was heard, quickly followed by another—a window crashed below the watchmen on the roof. The nozzles on the roof were raised, their streams sweeping in a wide semi-circle, knocking down the rioters below with tell-tale wisps of smoke, and as soon as the wave of water passed, the policemen, alerted and taking cover along the walls, rushed forward to grab a man who lay gasping in the snow. Dazed and half-drowned, he had dropped his gun. They handcuffed him and dragged him away through the ranks of soldiers, which parted to let him pass. The mob, including those who had been thrown down, bruised and soaked, and who painfully got back to their feet, had backed beyond the reach of the water, and for a while held that ground, until above its harsh, defiant curses, the throbbing of drums could be heard from behind.

“Cossacks! More Cossacks!”

“Cossacks! More Cossacks!”

The cry was taken up by Canadians, Italians, Belgians, Poles, Slovaks, Jews, and Syrians. The drums grew louder, the pressure from the rear was relaxed, the throng in Faber Street began a retreat in the direction of the power plant. Down that street, now in double time, came three companies of Boston militia, newly arrived in Hampton, blue-taped, gaitered, slouch-hatted. From columns of fours they wheeled into line, and with bayonets at charge slowly advanced. Then the boldest of the mob, who still lingered, sullenly gave way, West Street was cleared, and on the wider thoroughfare the long line of traffic, the imprisoned trolleys began to move again....

The shout was picked up by Canadians, Italians, Belgians, Poles, Slovaks, Jews, and Syrians. The drums got louder, the pressure from behind eased up, and the crowd on Faber Street started to retreat toward the power plant. Marching down that street, now in quick time, came three companies of Boston militia, freshly arrived in Hampton, wearing blue tape, gaiters, and slouch hats. They shifted from columns of fours into a line, with bayonets at the ready, and slowly moved forward. The boldest members of the crowd, who still hung around, reluctantly stepped back, West Street was cleared, and on the wider street, the long line of traffic and the trapped trolleys began to move again...

Janet had wedged herself into the press far enough to gain a view down West Street of the warehouse roofs, to see the water turned on, to hear the screams and the curses and then the shots. Once more she caught the contagious rage of the mob; the spectacle had aroused her to fury; it seemed ignominious, revolting that human beings, already sufficiently miserable, should be used thus. As she retreated reluctantly across the car tracks her attention was drawn to a man at her side, a Slovak. His face was white and pinched, his clothes were wet. Suddenly he stopped, turned and shook his fist at the line of soldiers.

Janet had squeezed herself into the crowd enough to catch a glimpse down West Street of the warehouse rooftops, to see the water turned on, to hear the screams and the curses and then the gunshots. Once again, she felt the contagious anger of the crowd; the scene had fired her up with rage; it seemed shameful and disgusting that human beings, already so miserable, should be treated like this. As she hesitantly stepped back across the streetcar tracks, her attention was drawn to a man next to her, a Slovak. His face was pale and drawn, his clothes soaked. Suddenly, he stopped, turned, and shook his fist at the line of soldiers.

“The Cossack, the politzman belong to the boss, the capitalist!” he cried. “We ain't got no right to live. I say, kill the capitalist—kill Ditmar!”

“The Cossack and the cop belong to the boss, the capitalist!” he shouted. “We don’t have any right to live. I say, kill the capitalist—kill Ditmar!”

A man with a deputy's shield ran toward them.

A man with a deputy's badge ran toward them.

“Move on!” he said brutally. “Move on, or I'll roil you in.” And Janet, once clear of the people, fled westward, the words the foreigner had spoken ringing in her ears. She found herself repeating them aloud, “Kill Ditmar!” as she hurried through the gathering dusk past the power house with its bottle-shaped chimneys, and crossed the little bridge over the stream beside the chocolate factory. She gained the avenue she had trod with Eda on that summer day of the circus. Here was the ragpicker's shop, the fence covered with bedraggled posters, the deserted grand-stand of the base-ball park spread with a milky-blue mantle of snow; and beyond, the monotonous frame cottages all built from one model. Now she descried looming above her the outline of Torrey's Hill blurred and melting into a darkening sky, and turned into the bleak lane where stood the Franco-Belgian Hall—Hampton Headquarters of the Industrial Workers of the World. She halted a moment at sight of the crowd of strikers loitering in front of it, then went on again, mingling with them excitedly beside the little building. Its lines were simple and unpretentious, and yet it had an exotic character all its own, differing strongly from the surrounding houses: it might have been transported from a foreign country and set down here. As the home of that odd, cooperative society of thrifty and gregarious Belgians it had stimulated her imagination, and once before she had gazed, as now, through the yellowed, lantern-like windows of the little store at the women and children waiting to fill their baskets with the day's provisions. In the middle of the building was an entrance leading up to the second floor. Presently she gathered the courage to enter. Her heart was pounding as she climbed the dark stairs and thrust open the door, and she stood a moment on the threshold almost choked by the fumes of tobacco, bewildered by the scene within, confused by the noise. Through a haze of smoke she beheld groups of swarthy foreigners fiercely disputing among themselves—apparently on the verge of actual combat, while a sprinkling of silent spectators of both sexes stood at the back of the hall. At the far end was a stage, still set with painted, sylvan scenery, and seated there, alone, above the confusion and the strife, with a calmness, a detachment almost disconcerting, was a stout man with long hair and a loose black tie. He was smoking a cigar and reading a newspaper which he presently flung down, taking up another from a pile on the table beside him. Suddenly one of the groups, shouting and gesticulating, surged toward him and made an appeal through their interpreter. He did not appear to be listening; without so much as lowering his newspaper he spoke a few words in reply, and the group retired, satisfied. By some incomprehensible power he dominated. Panting, fascinated, loath to leave yet fearful, Janet watched him, breathing now deeply this atmosphere of smoke, of strife, and turmoil. She found it grateful, for the strike, the battle was in her own soul as well. Momentarily she had forgotten Rolfe, who had been in her mind as she had come hither, and then she caught sight of him in a group in the centre of the hall. He saw her, he was making his way toward her, he was holding her hands, looking down into her face with that air of appropriation, of possession she remembered. But she felt no resentment now, only a fierce exultation at having dared.

“Move on!” he said harshly. “Move on, or I'll throw you in.” And Janet, once away from the crowd, ran westward, the words the stranger had said ringing in her ears. She found herself repeating them out loud, “Kill Ditmar!” as she hurried through the gathering darkness past the power station with its bottle-shaped chimneys, and crossed the little bridge over the stream next to the chocolate factory. She reached the avenue she had walked with Eda on that summer day at the circus. Here was the ragpicker's shop, the fence covered with tattered posters, the empty grandstand of the baseball park spread with a milky-blue blanket of snow; and beyond were the monotonous frame houses all built from the same design. Now she noticed the outline of Torrey's Hill looming above her, blurred and blending into the darkening sky, and turned into the desolate lane where the Franco-Belgian Hall stood—Hampton Headquarters of the Industrial Workers of the World. She paused for a moment at the sight of the crowd of strikers hanging around outside, then moved on again, excitedly joining them beside the small building. Its design was simple and unpretentious, yet it had a unique exotic character, standing out strongly from the surrounding houses: it seemed like it could have been transported from a different country and set down here. As the home of that quirky cooperative society of thrifty and social Belgians, it had sparked her imagination, and once before she had gazed, just as she was now, through the yellowed, lantern-like windows of the small store at the women and children waiting to fill their baskets with the day’s groceries. In the middle of the building was an entrance leading up to the second floor. Eventually, she found the courage to go in. Her heart raced as she climbed the dark stairs and pushed open the door, standing for a moment on the threshold, almost overwhelmed by the smell of tobacco, stunned by the scene inside, and confused by the noise. Through a haze of smoke, she saw groups of dark-skinned foreigners arguing fiercely among themselves—seemingly on the brink of actual fighting—while a few silent onlookers of both genders stood at the back of the hall. At the far end was a stage, still decorated with painted, forest-like scenery, and seated alone above the chaos and conflict, with a calmness that was almost unsettling, was a stout man with long hair and a loose black tie. He was smoking a cigar and reading a newspaper, which he soon tossed aside, grabbing another from a pile on the table beside him. Suddenly, one of the groups, shouting and gesturing, surged toward him and made a request through their interpreter. He didn’t seem to be listening; without even lowering his newspaper, he said a few words in reply, and the group withdrew, satisfied. By some inexplicable power, he held dominion. Panting, intrigued, hesitant to leave yet anxious, Janet watched him, now breathing the heavy atmosphere of smoke, conflict, and turmoil. She found it refreshing, for the strike, the battle, was within her too. For a moment, she had forgotten Rolfe, who had been on her mind as she came here, and then she spotted him in a group in the center of the hall. He saw her, was making his way toward her, holding her hands, looking down into her face with that sense of possession she remembered. But now she felt no resentment, only a fierce exhilaration at having dared.

“You've come to join us!” he exclaimed. “I thought I'd lost you.”

"You've come to be with us!" he said. "I thought I had lost you."

He bent closer to her that she might hear.

He leaned in closer so she could hear him.

“We are having a meeting of the Committee,” he said, and she smiled. Despite her agitation, this struck her as humorous. And Rolfe smiled back at her. “You wouldn't think so, but Antonelli knows how to manage them. He is a general. Come, I will enlist you, you shall be my recruit.”

“We're having a Committee meeting,” he said, and she smiled. Even though she was anxious, she found it funny. Rolfe smiled back at her. “You wouldn’t expect it, but Antonelli knows how to handle them. He’s a general. Come on, I’ll recruit you; you’ll be my new recruit.”

“But what can I do?” she asked.

“But what can I do?” she asked.

“I have been thinking. You said you were a stenographer—we need stenographers, clerks. You will not be wasted. Come in here.”

“I’ve been thinking. You mentioned you’re a stenographer—we need stenographers, clerks. You won’t be overlooked. Come in here.”

Behind her two box-like rooms occupying the width of the building had been turned into offices, and into one of these Rolfe led her. Men and women were passing in and out, while in a corner a man behind a desk sat opening envelopes, deftly extracting bills and post-office orders and laying them in a drawer. On the wall of this same room was a bookcase half filled with nondescript volumes.

Behind her, two boxy rooms across the width of the building had been converted into offices, and Rolfe led her into one of them. Men and women were coming in and out, while in a corner, a man at a desk was opening envelopes, skillfully pulling out bills and money orders and placing them in a drawer. On the wall of this same room, there was a bookcase that was half filled with various unremarkable books.

“The Bibliotheque—that's French for the library of the Franco-Belgian Cooperative Association,” explained Rolfe. “And this is Comrade Sanders. Sanders is easier to say than Czernowitz. Here is the young lady I told you about, who wishes to help us—Miss Bumpus.”

“The Bibliotheque—that's French for the library of the Franco-Belgian Cooperative Association,” Rolfe explained. “And this is Comrade Sanders. Sanders is easier to say than Czernowitz. Here is the young lady I told you about, who wants to help us—Miss Bumpus.”

Mr. Sanders stopped counting his money long enough to grin at her.

Mr. Sanders paused counting his money just long enough to smile at her.

“You will be welcome,” he said, in good English. “Stenographers are scarce here. When can you come?”

“You'll be welcome,” he said in perfect English. “Stenographers are hard to find around here. When can you come?”

“To-morrow morning,” answered Janet.

"Tomorrow morning," answered Janet.

“Good,” he said. “I'll have a machine for you. What kind do you use?”

“Great,” he said. “I'll get you a machine. What type do you use?”

She told him. Instinctively she took a fancy to this little man, whose flannel shirt and faded purple necktie, whose blue, unshaven face and tousled black hair seemed incongruous with an alert, business-like, and efficient manner. His nose, though not markedly Jewish, betrayed in him the blood of that vital race which has triumphantly survived so many centuries of bondage and oppression.

She told him. Instinctively, she was drawn to this little man, whose flannel shirt and faded purple tie, whose blue, unshaven face and messy black hair seemed at odds with his alert, business-like, and efficient demeanor. His nose, although not distinctly Jewish, revealed the ancestry of that vibrant race which has triumphantly endured so many centuries of bondage and oppression.

“He was a find, Czernowitz—he calls himself Sanders,” Rolfe explained, as they entered the hall once more. “An Operative in the Patuxent, educated himself, went to night school—might have been a capitalist like so many of his tribe if he hadn't loved humanity. You'll get along with him.”

“He's a real gem, Czernowitz—he goes by Sanders,” Rolfe explained as they walked back into the hall. “He's an Operative in the Patuxent, self-educated, went to night school—could have been a capitalist like many of his kind if he didn't care so much about people. You'll hit it off with him.”

“I'm sure I shall,” she replied.

“I'm sure I will,” she replied.

Rolfe took from his pocket a little red button with the letters I.W.W. printed across it. He pinned it, caressingly, on her coat.

Rolfe pulled out a small red button with the letters I.W.W. printed on it from his pocket. He gently pinned it onto her coat.

“Now you are one of us!” he exclaimed. “You'll come to-morrow?”

“Now you’re one of us!” he said. “Will you come tomorrow?”

“I'll come to-morrow,” she repeated, drawing away from him a little.

“I'll come tomorrow,” she repeated, pulling away from him a bit.

“And—we shall be friends?”

“And—will we be friends?”

She nodded. “I must go now, I think.”

She nodded. “I think I should go now.”

“Addio!” he said. “I shall look for you. For the present I must remain here, with the Committee.”

“Goodbye!” he said. “I’ll be looking for you. For now, I have to stay here with the Committee.”

When Janet reached Faber Street she halted on the corner of Stanley to stare into the window of the glorified drugstore. But she gave no heed to the stationery, the cameras and candy displayed there, being in the emotional state that reduces to unreality objects of the commonplace, everyday world. Presently, however, she became aware of a man standing beside her.

When Janet got to Faber Street, she stopped at the corner of Stanley to look into the window of the fancy drugstore. But she didn’t pay attention to the stationery, cameras, and candy on display, as she was in a mood that made ordinary things feel unreal. After a moment, she noticed a man standing next to her.

“Haven't we met before?” he asked. “Or—can I be mistaken?”

“Have we met before?” he asked. “Or—could I be wrong?”

Some oddly familiar quizzical note in his voice stirred, as she turned to him, a lapsed memory. The hawklike yet benevolent and illuminating look he gave her recalled the man at Silliston whom she had thought a carpenter though he was dressed now in a warm suit of gray wool, and wore a white, low collar.

Some strangely familiar, questioning tone in his voice sparked a faded memory as she turned to him. The hawk-like yet kind and enlightening gaze he gave her reminded her of the man at Silliston, whom she had thought was a carpenter, even though he was now wearing a cozy gray wool suit and a white, low collar.

“In Silliston!” she exclaimed. “Why—what are you doing here?”

“In Silliston!” she exclaimed. “Wait—what are you doing here?”

“Well—this instant I was just looking at those notepapers, wondering which I should choose if I really had good taste. But it's very puzzling—isn't it?—when one comes from the country. Now that saffron with the rough edges is very—artistic. Don't you think so?”

“Well—right now I was just looking at those notepapers, wondering which one I should pick if I actually had good taste. But it’s really confusing, isn’t it?—when you come from the countryside. That saffron one with the rough edges is pretty—artistic. Don’t you agree?”

She looked at him and smiled, though his face was serious.

She looked at him and smiled, even though his face was serious.

“You don't really like it, yourself,” she informed him.

“You don't really like it either,” she told him.

“Now you're reflecting on my taste,” he declared.

“Now you're thinking about my taste,” he said.

“Oh no—it's because I saw the fence you were making. Is it finished yet?”

“Oh no—it's because I saw the fence you were building. Is it done yet?”

“I put the last pineapple in place the day before Christmas. Do you remember the pineapples?”

“I placed the last pineapple just before Christmas. Do you remember the pineapples?”

She nodded. “And the house? and the garden?”

She nodded. “What about the house? And the garden?”

“Oh, those will never be finished. I shouldn't have anything more to do.”

“Oh, those will never get done. I shouldn't have anything else to do.”

“Is that—all you do?” she asked.

“Is that all you do?” she asked.

“It's more important than anything else. But you have you been back to Silliston since I saw you? I've been waiting for another call.”

“It's more important than anything else. Have you been back to Silliston since I last saw you? I've been waiting for another call.”

“You haven't even thought of me since,” she was moved to reply in the same spirit.

“You haven't even thought about me since then,” she felt compelled to respond in kind.

“Haven't I?” he exclaimed. “I wondered, when I came up here to Hampton, whether I mightn't meet you—and here you are! Doesn't that prove it?”

“Haven't I?” he exclaimed. “I was wondering when I came up here to Hampton if I might run into you—and here you are! Doesn’t that prove it?”

She laughed, somewhat surprised at the ease with which he had diverted her, drawn her out of the tense, emotional mood in which he had discovered her. As before, he puzzled her, but the absence of any flirtatious suggestion in his talk gave her confidence. He was just friendly.

She laughed, a bit surprised at how easily he had pulled her away from the tense, emotional state he had found her in. As before, he confused her, but the lack of any flirtatious hints in his conversation made her feel more at ease. He was just being friendly.

“Sometimes I hoped I might see you in Hampton,” she ventured.

“Sometimes I hoped I might run into you in Hampton,” she said.

“Well, here I am. I heard the explosion, and came.”

“Well, here I am. I heard the explosion and came.”

“The explosion! The strike!” she exclaimed; suddenly enlightened. “Now I remember! You said something about Hampton being nitro-glycerine—human nitro-glycerine. You predicted this strike.”

“The explosion! The strike!” she exclaimed, suddenly realizing. “Now I remember! You mentioned something about Hampton being nitroglycerin—human nitroglycerin. You predicted this strike.”

“Did I? perhaps I did,” he assented. “Maybe you suggested the idea.”

“Did I? Maybe I did,” he agreed. “Maybe you brought it up.”

“I suggested it! Oh no, I didn't—it was new to me, it frightened me at the time, but it started me thinking about a lot of things that had never occurred to me.”

“I suggested it! Oh no, I didn’t—it was new to me, it scared me at the time, but it got me thinking about a lot of things that had never occurred to me.”

“You might have suggested the idea without intending to, you know. There are certain people who inspire prophecies—perhaps you are one.”

"You might have brought up the idea without meaning to, you know. Some people inspire prophecies—maybe you are one of them."

His tone was playful, but she was quick to grasp at an inference—since his glance was fixed on the red button she wore.

His tone was teasing, but she quickly picked up on a hint—since his gaze was locked on the red button she was wearing.

“You meant that I would explode, too!”

“You meant that I would blow up, too!”

“Oh no—nothing so terrible as that,” he disclaimed. “And yet most of us have explosives stored away inside of us—instincts, impulses and all that sort of thing that won't stand too much bottling-up.”

“Oh no—nothing that serious,” he said. “And yet most of us have explosives stored inside us—instincts, impulses, and all that kind of stuff that can’t be kept bottled up for too long.”

“Yes, I've joined the strike.” She spoke somewhat challengingly, though she had an uneasy feeling that defiance was somewhat out of place with him. “I suppose you think it strange, since I'm not a foreigner and haven't worked in the mills. But I don't see why that should make any difference if you believe that the workers haven't had a chance.”

“Yes, I’ve joined the strike.” She said it with a hint of defiance, although she felt a bit uneasy about being so bold with him. “I guess you find it strange, since I’m not a foreigner and I haven’t worked in the mills. But I don’t see why that should matter if you believe that the workers haven’t been given a fair chance.”

“No difference,” he agreed, pleasantly, “no difference at all.”

“No difference,” he said with a smile, “no difference at all.”

“Don't you sympathize with the strikers?” she insisted. “Or—are you on the other side, the side of the capitalists?”

“Don't you sympathize with the strikers?” she pressed. “Or—are you on the other side, the side of the capitalists?”

“I? I'm a spectator—an innocent bystander.”

“I? I'm just a spectator—an innocent bystander.”

“You don't sympathize with the workers?” she cried.

“You don't feel for the workers?” she exclaimed.

“Indeed I do. I sympathize with everybody.”

“Of course I do. I feel for everyone.”

“With the capitalists?”

"With the capitalists?"

“Why not?”

"Why not?"

“Why not? Because they've had everything their own way, they've exploited the workers, deceived and oppressed them, taken all the profits.” She was using glibly her newly acquired labour terminology.

“Why not? Because they've had everything their own way, they've exploited the workers, deceived and oppressed them, taken all the profits.” She was using her newly learned labor terms effortlessly.

“Isn't that a pretty good reason for sympathizing with them?” he inquired.

“Isn't that a pretty good reason to feel sorry for them?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, I should think it might be difficult to be happy and have done all that. At any rate, it isn't my notion of happiness. Is it yours?”

"Well, I think it could be tough to be happy after doing all that. Anyway, that's not my idea of happiness. Is it yours?"

For a moment she considered this.

For a moment, she thought about this.

“No—not exactly,” she admitted. “But they seem happy,” she insisted vehemently, “they have everything they want and they do exactly as they please without considering anybody except themselves. What do they care how many they starve and make miserable? You—you don't know, you can't know what it is to be driven and used and flung away!”

“No—not really,” she admitted. “But they seem happy,” she insisted passionately, “they have everything they want and do exactly as they wish without thinking about anyone but themselves. What do they care about how many people they leave hungry and miserable? You—you don’t understand, you can’t imagine what it’s like to be pushed around, used, and tossed aside!”

Almost in tears, she did not notice his puzzled yet sympathetic glance.

Almost in tears, she didn't notice his confused but understanding look.

“The operatives, the workers create all the wealth, and the capitalists take it from them, from their wives and children.”

“The workers create all the wealth, and the capitalists take it from them, along with what belongs to their families.”

“Now I know what you've been doing,” he said accusingly. “You've been studying economics.”

“Now I know what you've been up to,” he said with a hint of accusation. “You've been studying economics.”

Her brow puckered.

Her brow furrowed.

“Studying what?”

"Studying what subject?"

“Economics—the distribution of wealth. It's enough to upset anybody.”

“Economics—the way wealth is distributed. It's enough to frustrate anyone.”

“But I'm not upset,” she insisted, smiling in spite of herself at his comical concern.

“But I'm not upset,” she insisted, smiling despite herself at his funny concern.

“It's very exciting. I remember reading a book once on economics and such things, and I couldn't sleep for a week. It was called 'The Organization of Happiness,' I believe, and it described just how the world ought to be arranged—and isn't. I thought seriously of going to Washington and telling the President and Congress about it.”

“It's really exciting. I remember reading a book once about economics and stuff, and I couldn't sleep for a week. I think it was called 'The Organization of Happiness,' and it talked about how the world should be organized—but isn’t. I seriously considered going to Washington to tell the President and Congress about it.”

“It wouldn't have done any good,” said Janet.

“It wouldn't have helped,” Janet said.

“No, I realized that.”

“No, I get that now.”

“The only thing that will do any good is to strike and keep on striking until the workers own the mills—take everything away from the capitalists.”

“The only thing that will make a difference is to strike and keep striking until the workers own the factories—take everything back from the capitalists.”

“It's very simple,” he agreed, “much simpler than the book I read. That's what they call syndicalism, isn't it?”

“It's really easy,” he said, “way easier than the book I read. That's what they call syndicalism, right?”

“Yes.” She was conscious of his friendliness, of the fact that his skepticism was not cynical, yet she felt a strong desire to convince him, to vindicate her new creed. “There's a man named Rolfe, an educated man who's lived in Italy and England, who explains it wonderfully. He's one of the I.W.W. leaders—you ought to hear him.”

“Yes.” She was aware of his kindness, of the fact that his doubts were not cynical, yet she felt a strong urge to convince him, to validate her new beliefs. “There’s a guy named Rolfe, an educated man who’s lived in Italy and England, who explains it really well. He’s one of the I.W.W. leaders—you should hear him.”

“Rolfe converted you? I'll go to hear him.”

“Rolfe converted you? I’ll go listen to him.”

“Yes—but you have to feel it, you have to know what it is to be kept down and crushed. If you'd only stay here awhile.”

“Yes—but you have to feel it, you have to understand what it’s like to be held down and crushed. If you’d just stay here for a bit.”

“Oh, I intend to,” he replied.

“Oh, I plan to,” he replied.

She could not have said why, but she felt a certain relief on hearing this.

She couldn't say why, but she felt a sense of relief upon hearing this.

“Then you'll see for yourself!” she cried. “I guess that's what you've come for, isn't it?”

“Then you'll see for yourself!” she exclaimed. “I guess that's why you're here, right?”

“Well, partly. To tell the truth, I've come to open a restaurant.”

“Well, sort of. Honestly, I’m here to open a restaurant.”

“To open a restaurant!” Somehow she was unable to imagine him as the proprietor of a restaurant. “But isn't it rather a bad time?” she gasped.

“To open a restaurant!” Somehow she couldn't picture him as the owner of a restaurant. “But isn't it kind of a bad time?” she exclaimed.

“I don't look as if I had an eye for business—do I? But I have. No, it's a good time—so many people will be hungry, especially children. I'm going to open a restaurant for children. Oh, it will be very modest, of course—I suppose I ought to call it a soup kitchen.”

“I may not look like I have a knack for business—do I? But I do. No, it’s a perfect time—so many people will be in need, especially kids. I’m planning to open a restaurant for children. Oh, it will be pretty simple, of course—I guess I should just call it a soup kitchen.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed, staring at him. “Then you really—” the sentence remained unfinished. “I'm sorry,” she said simply. “You made me think—”

“Oh!” she exclaimed, staring at him. “So you really—” the sentence remained unfinished. “I'm sorry,” she said simply. “You made me think—”

“Oh, you mustn't pay any attention to what I say. Come 'round and see my establishment, Number 77 Dey Street, one flight up, no elevator. Will you?”

“Oh, you really shouldn't pay any attention to what I say. Come over and check out my place, Number 77 Dey Street, one flight up, no elevator. Will you?”

She laughed tremulously as he took her hand.

She laughed nervously as he took her hand.

“Yes indeed, I will,” she promised. And she stood awhile staring after him. She was glad he had come to Hampton, and yet she did not even know his name.

“Yes, I will,” she promised. And she stood there for a bit, watching him go. She was happy he had come to Hampton, but she didn’t even know his name.





CHAPTER XVI

She had got another place—such was the explanation of her new activities Janet gave to Hannah, who received it passively. And the question dreaded about Ditmar was never asked. Hannah had become as a child, performing her tasks by the momentum of habituation, occasionally talking simply of trivial, every-day affairs, as though the old life were going on continuously. At times, indeed, she betrayed concern about Edward, wondering whether he were comfortable at the mill, and she washed and darned the clothes he sent home by messenger. She hoped he would not catch cold. Her suffering seemed to have relaxed. It was as though the tortured portion of her brain had at length been seared. To Janet, her mother's condition when she had time to think of it—was at once a relief and a new and terrible source of anxiety.

She had found another job—this was the explanation for her new activities that Janet gave to Hannah, who accepted it without question. The question everyone dreaded about Ditmar was never asked. Hannah had become like a child, doing her tasks out of habit, occasionally talking about trivial, everyday things, as if her old life was still continuing. Sometimes, she even expressed concern about Edward, wondering if he was comfortable at the mill, and she washed and mended the clothes he sent home by messenger. She hoped he wouldn’t catch a cold. Her suffering seemed to have eased. It was as if the part of her mind that had been tormented was finally numb. For Janet, her mother’s condition—when she had the chance to think about it—was both a relief and a new, terrifying source of anxiety.

Mercifully, however, she had little leisure to reflect on that tragedy, else her own sanity might have been endangered. As soon as breakfast was over she hurried across the city to the Franco-Belgian Hall, and often did not return until nine o'clock at night, usually so tired that she sank into bed and fell asleep. For she threw herself into her new labours with the desperate energy that seeks forgetfulness, not daring to pause to think about herself, to reflect upon what the future might hold for her when the strike should be over. Nor did she confine herself to typewriting, but, as with Ditmar, constantly assumed a greater burden of duty, helping Czernowitz—who had the work of five men—with his accounts, with the distribution of the funds to the ever-increasing number of the needy who were facing starvation. The money was paid out to them in proportion to the size of their families; as the strike became more and more effective their number increased until many mills had closed; other mills, including the Chippering, were still making a desperate attempt to operate their looms, and sixteen thousand operatives were idle. She grew to know these operatives who poured all day long in a steady stream through Headquarters; she heard their stories, she entered into their lives, she made decisions. Some, even in those early days of the strike, were frauds; were hiding their savings; but for the most part investigation revealed an appalling destitution, a resolution to suffer for the worker's cause. A few complained, the majority were resigned; some indeed showed exaltation and fire, were undaunted by the task of picketing in the cold mornings, by the presence of the soldiery. In this work of dealing with the operatives Janet had the advice and help of Anna Mower, a young woman who herself had been a skilled operative in the Clarendon Mill, and who was giving evidence of unusual qualities of organization and leadership. Anna, with no previous practise in oratory, had suddenly developed the gift of making speeches, the more effective with her fellow workers because unstudied, because they flowed directly out of an experience she was learning to interpret and universalize. Janet, who heard her once or twice, admired and envied her. They became friends.

Fortunately, she had little free time to dwell on that tragedy, or her own sanity might have been at risk. After breakfast, she rushed across the city to the Franco-Belgian Hall and often didn’t return until nine o'clock at night, usually so exhausted that she collapsed into bed and fell asleep. She threw herself into her new work with a frantic energy that sought to escape reality, not daring to stop and think about herself or what the future might bring once the strike ended. She didn’t limit herself to typewriting; like with Ditmar, she took on even more responsibility, assisting Czernowitz—who was handling the work of five men—with his accounts and distributing funds to the growing number of people facing hunger. The money was allocated based on family size; as the strike intensified, their numbers increased, with many mills closing down. Other mills, including the Chippering, were desperately trying to keep their looms running, leaving sixteen thousand workers idle. She became familiar with these workers who streamed through Headquarters all day; she listened to their stories, engaged with their lives, and made decisions. Some, even in the early days of the strike, were faking hardship and hiding their savings, but most were genuinely destitute, determined to suffer for the workers' cause. A few complained, but the majority accepted their fate; some even showed passion and enthusiasm, undeterred by the task of picketing in the cold mornings or the presence of soldiers. In her work with the workers, Janet received advice and support from Anna Mower, a young woman who had been a skilled worker in the Clarendon Mill and showed remarkable organizational and leadership skills. Anna, without any previous public speaking experience, had suddenly discovered the ability to make speeches, which resonated with her fellow workers because they were authentic, stemming from her own experiences she was beginning to interpret and generalize. Janet, who heard her speak a couple of times, admired and envied her talent. They became friends.

The atmosphere of excitement in which Janet now found herself was cumulative. Day by day one strange event followed another, and at times it seemed as if this extraordinary existence into which she had been plunged were all a feverish dream. Hither, to the absurd little solle de reunion of the Franco-Belgian Hall came notables from the great world, emissaries from an uneasy Governor, delegations from the Legislature, Members of the Congress of the United States and even Senators; students, investigators, men and women of prominence in the universities, magazine writers to consult with uncouth leaders of a rebellion that defied and upset the powers which hitherto had so serenely ruled, unchallenged. Rolfe identified these visitors, and one morning called her attention to one who he said was the nation's foremost authority on social science. Janet possessed all unconsciously the New England reverence for learning, she was stirred by the sight of this distinguished-looking person who sat on the painted stage, fingering his glasses and talking to Antonelli. The two men made a curious contrast. But her days were full of contrasts of which her mood exultingly approved. The politicians were received cavalierly. Toward these, who sought to act as go-betweens in the conflict, Antonelli was contemptuous; he behaved like the general of a conquering army, and his audacity was reflected in the other leaders, in Rolfe, in the Committee itself.

The excitement that Janet felt was building up. Day by day, one strange event followed another, and sometimes it seemed like the extraordinary life she was experiencing was just a wild dream. To the quirky little meeting place of the Franco-Belgian Hall came important figures from the outside world—messengers from a restless Governor, delegations from the Legislature, Members of the United States Congress, and even Senators; students, researchers, and influential people from universities, magazine writers looking to consult with rough leaders of a rebellion that challenged and upended the powers that had ruled so calmly until now. Rolfe pointed out these visitors one morning, highlighting one he claimed was the nation’s leading expert on social science. Janet, who unconsciously carried the New England respect for knowledge, felt a thrill at the sight of this distinguished man sitting on the decorated stage, adjusting his glasses and chatting with Antonelli. The two men were an interesting contrast. But her days were filled with contrasts that her mood joyfully embraced. The politicians were received with indifference. Antonelli held them in contempt, acting like the general of a victorious army, his boldness reflected in the other leaders, in Rolfe, and in the Committee itself.

That Committee, a never-ending source of wonder to Janet, with its nine or ten nationalities and interpreters, was indeed a triumph over the obstacles of race and language, a Babel made successful; in a community of Anglo-Saxon traditions, an amazing anomaly. The habiliments of the west, the sack coats and sweaters, the slouch hats and caps, the so-called Derbies pulled down over dark brows and flashing eyes lent to these peasant types an incongruity that had the air of ferocity. The faces of most of them were covered with a blue-black stubble of beard. Some slouched in their chairs, others stood and talked in groups, gesticulating with cigars and pipes; yet a keen spectator, after watching them awhile through the smoke, might have been able to pick out striking personalities among them. He would surely have noticed Froment, the stout, limping man under whose white eyebrows flashed a pair of livid blue and peculiarly Gallic eyes; he held the Belgians in his hand: Lindtzki, the Pole, with his zealot's face; Radeau, the big Canadian in the checked Mackinaw; and Findley, the young American-less by any arresting quality of feature than by an expression suggestive of practical wisdom.

That Committee, which constantly amazed Janet with its mix of nine or ten nationalities and interpreters, was truly a triumph over the challenges of race and language, a successful version of Babel; in a community filled with Anglo-Saxon traditions, it was an incredible anomaly. The clothing of the West—sack coats and sweaters, slouch hats and caps, the so-called Derbies pulled low over dark brows and bright eyes—gave these peasant types a fierce incongruity. Most of them sported a blue-black stubble of beard. Some lounged in their chairs, while others stood in groups, chatting and gesturing with cigars and pipes; yet a keen observer, after watching them for a while through the smoke, might have been able to identify some standout personalities among them. He would definitely have noticed Froment, the stout, limping man with white eyebrows and striking livid blue, distinctly Gallic eyes; he had the Belgians in his pocket: Lindtzki, the Pole, with his zealot's face; Radeau, the large Canadian in the checked Mackinaw; and Findley, the young American, marked less by any particularly striking features and more by an expression that suggested practical wisdom.

Imagine then, on an afternoon in the middle phase of the strike, some half dozen of the law-makers of a sovereign state, top-hatted and conventionally garbed in black, accustomed to authority, to conferring favours instead of requesting them, climbing the steep stairs and pausing on the threshold of that hall, fingering their watch chains, awaiting recognition by the representatives of the new and bewildering force that had arisen in an historic commonwealth. A “debate” was in progress. Some of the debaters, indeed, looked over their shoulders, but the leader, who sat above them framed in the sylvan setting of the stage, never so much as deigned to glance up from his newspaper. A half-burned cigar rolled between his mobile lips, he sat on the back of his neck, and yet he had an air Napoleonic; Nietzschean, it might better be said—although it is safe to assert that these moulders of American institutions knew little about that terrible philosopher who had raised his voice against the “slave morals of Christianity.” It was their first experience with the superman.... It remained for the Canadian, Radeau, when a lull arrived in the turmoil, to suggest that the gentlemen be given chairs.

Imagine, then, on an afternoon during the height of the strike, a small group of lawmakers from a sovereign state, wearing top hats and formal black attire, used to having power and bestowing favors instead of asking for them, climbing the steep stairs and pausing at the entrance of that hall, playing with their watch chains, waiting for recognition from the representatives of the new and confusing force that had emerged in this historic commonwealth. A “debate” was underway. Some of the speakers looked back over their shoulders, but the leader, sitting high above them against the backdrop of the stage, didn’t even bother to look up from his newspaper. A half-burned cigar rolled between his lips; he leaned back, and yet he had a Napoleonic presence; Nietzschean, one might say—though it’s safe to assume these shapers of American institutions knew little about that notorious philosopher who condemned the “slave morals of Christianity.” This was their first encounter with the superman.... It was left to the Canadian, Radeau, when a break in the chaos occurred, to suggest that the gentlemen be given chairs.

“Sure, give them chairs,” assented Antonelli in a voice hoarse from speech-making. Breath-taking audacity to certain spectators who had followed the delegation hither, some of whom could not refrain from speculating whether it heralded the final scrapping of the machinery of the state; amusing to cynical metropolitan reporters, who grinned at one another as they prepared to take down the proceedings; evoking a fierce approval in the breasts of all rebels among whom was Janet. The Legislative Chairman, a stout and suave gentleman of Irish birth, proceeded to explain how greatly concerned was the Legislature that the deplorable warfare within the state should cease; they had come, he declared, to aid in bringing about justice between labour and capital.

“Sure, give them chairs,” Antonelli agreed, his voice rough from speaking. It was a shocking move for some spectators who had followed the delegation here, and a few couldn’t help but wonder if it meant the end of the government’s power; it was amusing to cynical city reporters, who exchanged smirks as they got ready to record the events; and it sparked strong approval from all the rebels, including Janet. The Legislative Chairman, a stout and smooth-talking man of Irish descent, went on to explain how deeply the Legislature was concerned about the terrible conflict within the state and stated that they had come to help achieve fairness between labor and capital.

“We'll get justice without the help of the state,” remarked Antonelli curtly, while a murmur of approval ran through the back of the hall.

“We’ll get justice without the state's help,” Antonelli said sharply, and a murmur of agreement spread through the back of the hall.

That was scarcely the attitude, said the Chairman, he had expected. He knew that such a strike as this had engendered bitterness, there had been much suffering, sacrifice undoubtedly on both sides, but he was sure, if Mr. Antonelli and the Committee would accept their services here he was interrupted.

That was hardly the attitude, said the Chairman, he had expected. He knew that a strike like this had created bitterness; there had been a lot of suffering, and sacrifice on both sides, but he was confident that if Mr. Antonelli and the Committee would accept their help here, he was interrupted.

Had the mill owners accepted their services?

Had the mill owners accepted their services?

The Chairman cleared his throat.

The Chairperson cleared their throat.

The fact was that the mill owners were more difficult to get together in a body. A meeting would be arranged—“When you arrange a meeting, let me know,” said Antonelli.

The reality was that getting the mill owners to come together as a group was challenging. A meeting would be set up—“When you set up a meeting, just let me know,” said Antonelli.

A laugh went around the room. It was undoubtedly very difficult to keep one's temper under such treatment. The Chairman looked it.

A laugh spread through the room. It was definitely challenging to stay calm under such conditions. The Chairman looked that way.

“A meeting would be arranged,” he declared, with a long-suffering expression. He even smiled a little. “In the meantime—”

“A meeting will be set up,” he announced, looking a bit weary. He even managed a slight smile. “In the meantime—”

“What can your committee do?” demanded one of the strike leaders, passionately—it was Findley. “If you find one party wrong, can your state force it to do right? Can you legislators be impartial when you have not lived the bitter life of the workers? Would you arbitrate a question of life and death? And are the worst wages paid in these mills anything short of death? Do you investigate because conditions are bad? or because the workers broke loose and struck? Why did you not come before the strike?”

“What can your committee do?” demanded one of the strike leaders, passionately—it was Findley. “If you find one party in the wrong, can your state make it do the right thing? Can you legislators be unbiased when you haven’t experienced the harsh reality of the workers? Would you mediate a matter of life and death? And are the terrible wages paid in these mills anything less than a death sentence? Do you investigate because conditions are poor, or because the workers finally stood up and went on strike? Why didn’t you come before the strike?”

This drew more approval from the rear. Why, indeed? The Chairman was adroit, he had pulled himself out of many tight places in the Assembly Chamber, but now he began to perspire, to fumble in his coat tails for a handkerchief. The Legislature, he maintained, could not undertake to investigate such matters until called to its attention....

This received more approval from the back. Why was that? The Chairman was skilled, and he had navigated many tough situations in the Assembly Chamber, but now he started to sweat, fumbling in his coat for a handkerchief. He insisted that the Legislature couldn't look into such issues until they were brought to its attention...

Later on a tall gentleman, whom heaven had not blessed with tact, saw fit to deplore the violence that had occurred; he had no doubt the leaders of the strike regretted it as much as he, he was confident it would be stopped, when public opinion would be wholly and unreservedly on the side of the strikers.

Later on, a tall man, who clearly lacked social skills, decided to lament the violence that had happened; he was sure the leaders of the strike felt just as sorry about it as he did, and he believed it would come to an end once the public completely and wholeheartedly supported the strikers.

“Public opinion!” savagely cried Lindtzki, who spoke English with only a slight accent. “If your little boy, if your little girl come to you and ask for shoes, for bread, and you say, 'I have no shoes, I have no bread, but public opinion is with us,' would that satisfy you?”

“Public opinion!” Lindtzki shouted fiercely, speaking English with just a slight accent. “If your little boy or girl comes to you and asks for shoes or bread, and you respond, 'I have no shoes, I have no bread, but public opinion is on our side,' would that satisfy you?”

This drew so much applause that the tall law-maker sat down again with a look of disgust on his face.... The Committee withdrew, and for many weeks thereafter the state they represented continued to pay some four thousand dollars daily to keep its soldiers on the streets of Hampton....

This got so much applause that the tall lawmaker sat back down with a look of disgust on his face.... The Committee left, and for many weeks after that, the state they represented kept paying around four thousand dollars a day to keep its soldiers on the streets of Hampton....

In the meanwhile Janet saw much of Rolfe. Owing to his facile command of language he was peculiarly fitted to draft those proclamations, bombastically worded in the French style, issued and circulated by the Strike Committee—appeals to the polyglot army to withstand the pangs of hunger, to hold out for the terms laid down, assurances that victory was at hand. Walking up and down the bibliotheque, his hands behind his back, his red lips gleaming as he spoke, he dictated these documents to Janet. In the ecstasy of this composition he had a way of shaking his head slowly from side to side, and when she looked up she saw his eyes burning, down at her. A dozen times a day, while she was at her other work, he would come in and talk to her. He excited her, she was divided between attraction and fear of him, and often she resented his easy assumption that a tie existed between them—the more so because this seemed to be taken for granted among certain of his associates. In their eyes, apparently, she was Rolfe's recruit in more senses than one. It was indeed a strange society in which she found herself, and Rolfe typified it. He lived on the plane of the impulses and intellect, discarded as inhibiting factors what are called moral standards, decried individual discipline and restraint. And while she had never considered these things, the spectacle of a philosophy—embodied in him—that frankly and cynically threw them overboard was disconcerting. He regarded her as his proselyte, he called her a Puritan, and he seemed more concerned that she should shed these relics of an ancestral code than acquire the doctrines of Sorel and Pouget. And yet association with him presented the allurement of a dangerous adventure. Intellectually he fascinated her; and still another motive—which she partially disguised from herself—prevented her from repelling him. That motive had to do with Ditmar. She tried to put Ditmar from her mind; she sought in desperation, not only to keep busy, but to steep and lose herself in this fierce creed as an antidote to the insistent, throbbing pain that lay ambushed against her moments of idleness. The second evening of her installation at Headquarters she had worked beyond the supper hour, helping Sanders with his accounts. She was loath to go home. And when at last she put on her hat and coat and entered the hall Rolfe, who had been talking to Jastro, immediately approached her. His liquid eyes regarded her solicitously.

In the meantime, Janet spent a lot of time with Rolfe. Because he was so skilled with language, he was particularly suited to write the proclamations, which were overly dramatic and in the French style, issued by the Strike Committee—urging the diverse army to endure hunger, to hold out for the stated terms, and assuring them that victory was near. As he walked back and forth in the library, hands behind his back, his red lips shining as he spoke, he dictated these documents to Janet. In the excitement of this work, he would slowly shake his head from side to side, and when she looked up, she saw his intense gaze fixed on her. A dozen times a day, while she was busy with other tasks, he would come in to talk to her. He intrigued her; she felt torn between attraction and fear of him, and often resented his easy belief that there was a connection between them—the more so since his associates seemed to take that for granted. In their eyes, she was clearly Rolfe's recruit in more ways than one. It was indeed a peculiar group she found herself in, and Rolfe embodied it. He operated on the level of impulses and intellect, dismissing what are called moral standards as restrictive factors, and he condemned individual discipline and restraint. Although she had never thought much about these issues, witnessing a philosophy—personified in him—that openly and cynically discarded them was unsettling. He saw her as his disciple, called her a Puritan, and seemed more interested in her shedding the remnants of her ancestral code than in adopting the ideas of Sorel and Pouget. Yet being with him was enticingly dangerous. Intellectually, he captivated her; and there was another reason—which she partially hid from herself—that kept her from pushing him away. That reason had to do with Ditmar. She tried to banish thoughts of Ditmar; she desperately sought to stay busy and immerse herself in this intense belief system as a way to counter the persistent, throbbing pain that awaited her during quiet moments. On the second evening after she arrived at Headquarters, she worked late into the evening, assisting Sanders with his accounts. She was reluctant to go home. Finally, when she put on her hat and coat and stepped into the hall, Rolfe, who had been talking to Jastro, came right over to her. His expressive eyes looked at her with concern.

“You must be hungry,” he said. “Come out with me and have some supper.”

“You must be hungry,” he said. “Come out with me and grab some dinner.”

But she was not hungry; what she needed was air. Then he would walk a little way with her—he wanted to talk to her. She hesitated, and then consented. A fierce hope had again taken possession of her, and when they came to Warren Street she turned into it.

But she wasn't hungry; what she needed was fresh air. So he walked a short distance with her—he wanted to have a conversation. She paused for a moment, then agreed. A strong sense of hope washed over her again, and when they reached Warren Street, she turned onto it.

“Where are you going?” Rolfe demanded.

“Where are you heading?” Rolfe asked.

“For a walk,” she said. “Aren't you coming?”

“For a walk,” she said. “Aren't you joining me?”

“Will you have supper afterwards?”

"Will you have dinner afterwards?"

“Perhaps.”

"Maybe."

He followed her, puzzled, yet piqued and excited by her manner, as with rapid steps she hurried along the pavement. He tried to tell her what her friendship meant to him; they were, he declared, kindred spirits—from the first time he had seen her, on the Common, he had known this. She scarcely heard him, she was thinking of Ditmar; and this was why she had led Rolfe into Warren Street they might meet Ditmar! It was possible that he would be going to the mill at this time, after his dinner! She scrutinized every distant figure, and when they reached the block in which he lived she walked more slowly. From within the house came to her, faintly, the notes of a piano—his daughter Amy was practising. It was the music, a hackneyed theme of Schubert's played heavily, that seemed to arouse the composite emotion of anger and hatred, yet of sustained attraction and wild regret she had felt before, but never so poignantly as now. And she lingered, perversely resolved to steep herself in the agony.

He followed her, confused but intrigued and excited by her energy as she hurried down the sidewalk. He tried to express what her friendship meant to him; he insisted they were kindred spirits—ever since he first saw her on the Common, he had felt this connection. She barely registered his words; her thoughts were on Ditmar, and that’s why she had taken Rolfe to Warren Street—they might run into Ditmar! It was possible he would be heading to the mill around this time, after dinner! She scanned every figure in the distance, and when they reached the block where he lived, she started to walk more slowly. From inside the house, she could faintly hear a piano—his daughter Amy was practicing. It was the music, a well-worn Schubert piece played heavily, that stirred up a mix of anger and hatred, yet also lingering attraction and intense regret she had felt before, but never so sharply as now. And she lingered, stubbornly determined to immerse herself in the pain.

“Who lives here” Rolfe asked.

"Who lives here?" Rolfe asked.

“Mr. Ditmar,” she answered.

"Mr. Ditmar," she replied.

“The agent of the Chippering Mill?”

“The agent from the Chippering Mill?”

She nodded.

She agreed.

“He's the worst of the lot,” Rolfe said angrily. “If it weren't for him, we'd have this strike won to-day. He owns this town, he's run it to suit himself, He stiffens up the owners and holds the other mills in line. He's a type, a driver, the kind of man we must get rid of. Look at him—he lives in luxury while his people are starving.”

“He's the worst of the bunch,” Rolfe said angrily. “If it weren't for him, we’d have this strike won today. He owns this town and runs it to suit himself. He intimidates the owners and keeps the other mills in check. He’s a type, a manipulator, the kind of guy we need to get rid of. Look at him—he lives in luxury while his people are starving.”

“Get rid of!” repeated Janet, in an odd voice.

“Get rid of!” Janet repeated, her voice sounding strange.

“Oh, I don't mean to shoot him,” Rolfe declared. “But he may get shot, for all I know, by some of these slaves he's made desperate.”

“Oh, I don't intend to shoot him,” Rolfe declared. “But for all I know, he might get shot by some of these slaves he’s pushed to the brink.”

“They wouldn't dare shoot him,” Janet said. “And whatever he is, he isn't a coward. He's stronger than the others, he's more of a man.”

“They wouldn't dare shoot him,” Janet said. “And whatever he is, he’s not a coward. He’s stronger than the others; he’s more of a man.”

Rolfe looked at her curiously.

Rolfe looked at her with curiosity.

“What do you know about him?” he asked.

“What do you know about him?” he asked.

“I—I know all about him. I was his stenographer.”

“I— I know all about him. I was his assistant.”

“You! His stenographer! Then why are you herewith us?”

“You! His stenographer! Then why are you here with us?”

“Because I hate him!” she cried vehemently. “Because I've learned that it's true—what you say about the masters—they only think of themselves and their kind, and not of us. They use us.”

“Because I hate him!” she shouted passionately. “Because I’ve realized it’s true—what you say about the masters—they only care about themselves and their own kind, not about us. They exploit us.”

“He tried to use you! You loved him!”

“He tried to use you! You loved him!”

“How dare you say that!”

"How could you say that?"

He fell back before her anger.

He stepped back in response to her anger.

“I didn't mean to offend you,” he exclaimed. “I was jealous—I'm jealous of every man you've known. I want you. I've never met a woman like you.”

“I didn't mean to offend you,” he said. “I was jealous—I'm jealous of every guy you've been with. I want you. I've never met a woman like you.”

They were the very words Ditmar had used! She did not answer, and for a while they walked along in silence, leaving Warren Street and cutting across the city until they canoe in sight of the Common. Rolfe drew nearer to her.

They were the exact words Ditmar had used! She didn't respond, and for a while, they walked in silence, leaving Warren Street and crossing the city until they came in sight of the Common. Rolfe moved closer to her.

“Forgive me!” he pleaded. “You know I would not offend you. Come, we'll have supper together, and I will teach you more of what you have to know.”

“Forgive me!” he begged. “You know I wouldn’t hurt you. Come on, let’s have dinner together, and I’ll teach you more of what you need to know.”

“Where?” she asked.

"Where?" she asked.

“At the Hampton—it is a little cafe where we all go. Perhaps you've been there.”

“At the Hampton—it’s a small café where we all hang out. Maybe you’ve been there.”

“No,” said Janet.

“No,” Janet replied.

“It doesn't compare with the cafes of Europe—or of New York. Perhaps we shall go to them sometime, together. But it is cosy, and warm, and all the leaders will be there. You'll come—yes?”

“It doesn't compare to the cafés in Europe—or in New York. Maybe we’ll visit them together sometime. But it's cozy, and warm, and all the leaders will be there. You’ll come—right?”

“Yes, I'll come,” she said....

"Yes, I'll be there," she said.

The Hampton was one of the city's second-class hotels, but sufficiently pretentious to have, in its basement, a “cafe” furnished in the “mission” style of brass tacks and dull red leather. In the warm, food-scented air fantastic wisps of smoke hung over the groups; among them Janet made out several of the itinerant leaders of Syndicalism, loose-tied, debonnair, giving a tremendous impression of freedom as they laughed and chatted with the women. For there were women, ranging from the redoubtable Nellie Bond herself down to those who may be designated as camp-followers. Rolfe, as he led Janet to a table in a corner of the room, greeted his associates with easy camaraderie. From Miss Bond he received an illuminating smile. Janet wondered at her striking good looks, at the boldness and abandon with which she talked to Jastro or exchanged sallies across the room. The atmosphere of this tawdry resort, formerly frequented by shop girls and travelling salesmen, was magically transformed by the presence of this company, made bohemian, cosmopolitan, exhilarating. And Janet, her face flushed, sat gazing at the scene, while Rolfe consulted the bill of fare and chose a beefsteak and French fried potatoes. The apathetic waiter in the soiled linen jacket he addressed as “comrade.” Janet protested when he ordered cocktails.

The Hampton was one of the city’s mid-range hotels, but it was pretentious enough to have a “cafe” in its basement decorated in the “mission” style with brass tacks and dull red leather. In the warm, food-scented air, wisps of smoke lingered over the groups; among them, Janet recognized several traveling leaders of Syndicalism, casually dressed and charming, giving off a strong sense of freedom as they laughed and chatted with the women. There were women of all types, from the formidable Nellie Bond herself down to those who could be called camp followers. Rolfe, as he led Janet to a table in a corner of the room, greeted his friends with casual friendliness. He received an illuminating smile from Miss Bond. Janet was struck by her stunning looks and the confident way she talked to Jastro or exchanged playful remarks across the room. The atmosphere of this shabby spot, once populated by shop girls and traveling salesmen, was magically transformed by this crowd, turning it into something bohemian, cosmopolitan, and exhilarating. Janet, her face flushed, sat watching the scene unfold while Rolfe looked over the menu and decided on beefsteak and French fries. He addressed the indifferent waiter in the stained linen jacket as “comrade.” Janet protested when he ordered cocktails.

“You must learn to live, to relax, to enjoy yourself,” he declared.

“You need to learn how to live, chill out, and have fun,” he said.

But a horror of liquor held her firm in her refusal. Rolfe drank his, and while they awaited the beefsteak she was silent, the prey of certain misgivings that suddenly assailed her. Lise, she remembered, had sometimes mentioned this place, though preferring Gruber's: and she was struck by the contrast between this spectacle and the grimness of the strike these people had come to encourage and sustain, the conflict in the streets, the suffering in the tenements. She glanced at Rolfe, noting the manner in which he smoked cigarettes, sensually, as though seeking to wring out of each all there was to be got before flinging it down and lighting another. Again she was struck by the anomaly of a religion that had indeed enthusiasms, sacrifices perhaps, but no disciplines. He threw it out in snatches, this religion, while relating the histories of certain persons in the room: of Jastro, for instance, letting fall a hint to the effect that this evangelist and bliss Bond were dwelling together in more than amity.

But a strong aversion to alcohol kept her firmly refusing. Rolfe drank his, and while they waited for the beefsteak, she was silent, troubled by certain nagging doubts that suddenly overwhelmed her. Lise, she recalled, had sometimes mentioned this place, though she preferred Gruber's: and she was struck by the stark difference between this scene and the harsh reality of the strike that these people had come to support and uphold, the conflict in the streets, the suffering in the tenements. She glanced at Rolfe, noticing how he smoked cigarettes, indulgently, as if trying to extract every bit of pleasure from each one before tossing it aside and lighting another. Again, she was struck by the contradiction of a faith that had enthusiasm, maybe even sacrifices, but no real discipline. He shared bits and pieces of this faith as he recounted the stories of certain people in the room: like Jastro, for example, casually suggesting that this evangelist and bliss Bond were living together in more than just friendship.

“Then you don't believe in marriage?” she demanded, suddenly.

“Then you don’t believe in marriage?” she asked abruptly.

Rolfe laughed.

Rolfe chuckled.

“What is it,” he exclaimed, “but the survival of the system of property? It's slavery, taboo, a device upheld by the master class to keep women in bondage, in superstition, by inducing them to accept it as a decree of God.”

“What is it,” he exclaimed, “but the survival of the property system? It’s slavery, a taboo, a tool used by the ruling class to keep women in oppression and ignorance, by convincing them to accept it as a command from God.”

“Did the masters themselves ever respect it, or any other decrees of God they preached to the slaves? Read history, and you will see. They had their loves, their mistresses. Read the newspapers, and you will find out whether they respect it to-day. But they are very anxious to have you and me respect it and all the other Christian commandments, because they will prevent us from being discontented. They say that we must be satisfied with the situation in this world in which God has placed us, and we shall have our reward in the next.”

“Did the masters themselves ever truly respect it, or any other decrees of God that they preached to the slaves? Look at history, and you'll see. They had their loves, their mistresses. Check the newspapers, and you'll find out whether they respect it today. But they are very eager for you and me to respect it and all the other Christian commandments because they keep us from being discontented. They say we must be satisfied with the situation in this world that God has put us in, and we will have our reward in the next.”

She shivered slightly, not only at the ideas thus abruptly enunciated, but because it occurred to her that those others must be taking for granted a certain relationship between herself and Rolfe.... But presently, when the supper arrived, these feelings changed. She was very hungry, and the effect of the food, of the hot coffee was to dispel her doubt and repugnance, to throw a glamour over the adventure, to restore to Rolfe's arguments an exciting and alluring appeal. And with renewed physical energy she began to experience once more a sense of fellowship with these free and daring spirits who sought to avenge her wrongs and theirs.

She shivered slightly, not just at the ideas that were suddenly stated, but because it struck her that the others must be assuming a certain connection between her and Rolfe.... But soon, when dinner arrived, her feelings shifted. She was really hungry, and the effect of the food and hot coffee was to chase away her doubt and disgust, to put a glow over the adventure, and to give Rolfe's arguments an exciting and tempting appeal. With renewed physical energy, she started to feel a sense of camaraderie with these free and bold spirits who were trying to avenge her wrongs and theirs.

“For us who create there are no rules of conduct, no conventions,” Rolfe was saying, “we do not care for the opinions of the middle class, of the bourgeois. With us men and women are on an equality. It is fear that has kept the workers down, and now we have cast that off—we know our strength. As they say in Italy, il mondo e a chi se lo piglia, the world belongs to him who is bold.”

“For those of us who create, there are no rules or conventions,” Rolfe was saying. “We don’t care about the opinions of the middle class or the bourgeois. With us, men and women are equals. It’s fear that has kept the workers down, but now we’ve shed that—we know our strength. As they say in Italy, il mondo e a chi se lo piglia, the world belongs to the bold.”

“Italian is a beautiful language,” she exclaimed.

“Italian is such a beautiful language,” she exclaimed.

“I will teach you Italian,” he said.

“I'll teach you Italian,” he said.

“I want to learn—so much!” she sighed.

“I want to learn—so much!” she sighed.

“Your soul is parched,” he said, in a commiserating tone. “I will water it, I will teach you everything.” His words aroused a faint, derisive echo: Ditmar had wish to teach her, too! But now she was strongly under the spell of the new ideas hovering like shining, gossamer spirits just beyond her reach, that she sought to grasp and correlate. Unlike the code which Rolfe condemned, they seemed not to be separate from life, opposed to it, but entered even into that most important of its elements, sex. In deference to that other code Ditmar had made her his mistress, and because he was concerned for his position and the security of the ruling class had sought to hide the fact.... Rolfe, with a cigarette between his red lips, sat back in his chair, regarding with sensuous enjoyment the evident effect of his arguments.

“Your soul is thirsty,” he said, in a sympathetic tone. “I’ll nourish it; I’ll teach you everything.” His words sparked a slight, mocking echo: Ditmar had wanted to teach her, too! But now she was deeply enchanted by the new ideas glimmering like ethereal spirits just out of reach, which she tried to grasp and connect. Unlike the code that Rolfe criticized, these ideas didn’t feel detached from life or opposed to it; instead, they infused even its most vital aspect, sex. Out of respect for that other code, Ditmar had made her his mistress, and because he was worried about his status and the security of the ruling class, he attempted to conceal it…. Rolfe, with a cigarette between his bright red lips, leaned back in his chair, enjoying the clear impact of his arguments.

“But love?” she interrupted, when presently he had begun to talk again. She strove inarticulately to express an innate feminine objection to relationships that were made and broken at pleasure.

“But love?” she interrupted when he began talking again. She struggled to express an instinctive feminine objection to relationships that were created and ended at will.

“Love is nothing but attraction between the sexes, the life-force working in us. And when that attraction ceases, what is left? Bondage. The hideous bondage of Christian marriage, in which women promise to love and obey forever.”

“Love is just the attraction between genders, the life force within us. And when that attraction fades, what remains? A trap. The dreadful trap of Christian marriage, where women vow to love and obey forever.”

“But women—women are not like men. When once they give themselves they do not so easily cease to love. They—they suffer.”

“But women—women aren’t like men. Once they give their hearts, they don’t just stop loving so easily. They—they feel pain.”

He did not seem to observe the bitterness in her voice.

He didn't seem to notice the bitterness in her voice.

“Ah, that is sentiment,” he declared, “something that will not trouble women when they have work to do, inspiring work. It takes time to change our ideas, to learn to see things as they are.” He leaned forward eagerly. “But you will learn, you are like some of those rare women in history who have had the courage to cast off traditions. You were not made to be a drudge....”

“Ah, that's sentiment,” he said, “something that won't bother women when they have important work to do, inspiring work. It takes time to change our ideas, to learn to see things as they really are.” He leaned forward eagerly. “But you will learn; you're like some of those rare women in history who had the courage to break free from traditions. You weren’t meant to be a drudge....”

But now her own words, not his, were ringing in her head—women do not so easily cease to love, they suffer. In spite of the new creed she had so eagerly and fiercely embraced, in which she had sought deliverance and retribution, did she still love Ditmar, and suffer because of him? She repudiated the suggestion, yet it persisted as she glanced at Rolfe's red lips and compared him with Ditmar. Love! Rolfe might call it what he would—the life-force, attraction between the sexes, but it was proving stronger than causes and beliefs. He too was making love to her; like Ditmar, he wanted her to use and fling away when he should grow weary. Was he not pleading for himself rather than for the human cause he professed? taking advantage of her ignorance and desperation, of her craving for new experience and knowledge? The suspicion sickened her. Were all men like that? Suddenly, without apparent premeditation or connection, the thought of the stranger from Silliston entered her mind. Was he like that?... Rolfe was bending toward her across the table, solicitously. “What's the matter?” he asked.

But now her own words, not his, were echoing in her mind—women don’t easily stop loving; they suffer. Despite the new beliefs she had embraced so eagerly and passionately, where she sought freedom and revenge, did she still love Ditmar and suffer because of him? She rejected the idea, yet it lingered as she looked at Rolfe's red lips and compared him to Ditmar. Love! Rolfe could call it whatever he wanted—the life force, attraction between the sexes—but it was proving to be stronger than beliefs and causes. He was also making advances toward her; like Ditmar, he wanted her to use and discard when he grew tired. Was he not asking for himself rather than for the noble cause he claimed to support? Taking advantage of her naivety and desperation, of her longing for new experiences and knowledge? The thought made her sick. Were all men like that? Suddenly, without any apparent reason or connection, the thought of the stranger from Silliston popped into her mind. Was he like that?... Rolfe was leaning toward her across the table, concerned. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

Her reply was listless.

Her response was flat.

“Nothing—except that I'm tired. I want to go home.”

"Nothing—except I'm tired. I just want to go home."

“Not now,” he begged. “It's early yet.”

“Not now,” he pleaded. “It’s still early.”

But she insisted....

But she insisted...





CHAPTER XVII

The next day at the noon hour Janet entered Dey Street. Cheek by jowl there with the tall tenements whose spindled-pillared porches overhung the darkened pavements were smaller houses of all ages and descriptions, their lower floors altered to accommodate shops; while in the very midst of the block stood a queer wooden building with two rows of dormer windows let into its high-pitched roof. It bore a curious resemblance to a town hall in the low countries. In front of it the street was filled with children gazing up at the doorway where a man stood surveying them—the stranger from Silliston. There was a rush toward him, a rush that drove Janet against the wall almost at his side, and he held up his hands in mock despair, gently impeding the little bodies that strove to enter. He bent over them to examine the numerals, printed on pasteboard, they wore on their breasts. His voice was cheerful, yet compassionate.

The next day at noon, Janet walked into Dey Street. Packed closely together with the tall tenement buildings that had skinny-columned porches hanging over the dark sidewalks were smaller houses of various ages and styles, with their ground floors turned into shops; right in the middle of the block stood a quirky wooden building with two rows of dormer windows set into its steep roof. It looked quite a bit like a town hall from the Low Countries. In front of it, the street was filled with kids staring up at the doorway where a man stood watching them—the stranger from Silliston. There was a rush towards him, one that pushed Janet against the wall nearly at his side, and he raised his hands in mock despair, gently blocking the little ones trying to get inside. He bent down to look at the numbers printed on cardboard that were pinned to their chests. His voice was cheerful but kind-hearted.

“It's hard to wait, I know. I'm hungry myself,” he said. “But we can't all go up at once. The building would fall down! One to one hundred now, and the second hundred will be first for supper. That's fair, isn't it?”

“It's tough to wait, I get it. I'm hungry too,” he said. “But we can't all go up at the same time. The building might collapse! One to one hundred now, and the second hundred will be first for dinner. That’s fair, right?”

Dozens of hands were raised.

Many hands were raised.

“I'm twenty-nine!”

"I'm 29!"

“I'm three, mister!”

"I'm three years old, mister!"

“I'm forty-one!”

"I'm 41!"

He let them in, one by one, and they clattered up the stairs, as he seized a tiny girl bundled in a dark red muffler and set her on the steps above him. He smiled at Janet.

He let them in, one by one, and they hurried up the stairs, as he grabbed a little girl wrapped in a dark red scarf and placed her on the steps above him. He smiled at Janet.

“This is my restaurant,” he said.

“This is my restaurant,” he said.

But she could not answer. She watched him as he continued to bend over the children, and when the smaller ones wept because they had to wait, he whispered in their ears, astonishing one or two into laughter. Some ceased crying and clung to him with dumb faith. And after the chosen hundred had been admitted he turned to her again.

But she couldn’t respond. She observed him as he kept leaning over the kids, and when the younger ones cried because they had to wait, he whispered in their ears, making one or two of them laugh in surprise. Some stopped crying and held onto him with silent trust. After the selected hundred had been let in, he turned to her once more.

“You allow visitors?”

"Do you allow visitors?"

“Oh dear, yes. They'd come anyway. There's one up there now, a very swell lady from New York—so swell I don't know what to say to her. Talk to her for me.”

“Oh wow, yeah. They'd show up regardless. There's one up there now, a really classy lady from New York—so classy I don't even know what to say to her. Please talk to her for me.”

“But I shouldn't know what to say, either,” replied Janet. She smiled, but she had an odd desire to cry. “What is she doing here?”

“But I wouldn’t even know what to say,” Janet replied. She smiled, but she felt a strange urge to cry. “What is she doing here?”

“Oh, thrashing 'round, trying to connect with life—she's one of the unfortunate unemployed.”

“Oh, flailing around, trying to find some meaning in life—she's one of the unlucky unemployed.”

“Unemployed?”

"Out of work?"

“The idle rich,” he explained. “Perhaps you can give her a job—enlist her in the I.W.W.”

“The idle rich,” he explained. “Maybe you can offer her a job—get her involved with the I.W.W.”

“We don't want that kind,” Janet declared.

“We don't want that kind,” Janet declared.

“Have pity on her,” he begged. “Nobody wants them—that's why they're so pathetic.”

“Have compassion for her,” he pleaded. “No one wants them—that's why they're so sad.”

She accompanied him up the narrow stairway to a great loft, the bareness of which had been tempered by draped American flags. From the trusses of the roof hung improvised electric lights, and the children were already seated at the four long tables, where half a dozen ladies were supplying them with enamelled bowls filled with steaming soup. They attacked it ravenously, and the absence of the talk and laughter that ordinarily accompany children's feasts touched her, impressed upon her, as nothing else had done, the destitution of the homes from which these little ones had come. The supplies that came to Hampton, the money that poured into Headquarters were not enough to allay the suffering even now. And what if the strike should last for months! Would they be able to hold out, to win? In this mood of pity, of anxiety mingled with appreciation and gratitude for what this man was doing, she turned to speak to him, to perceive on the platform at the end of the room a lady seated. So complete was the curve of her back that her pose resembled a letter u set sidewise, the gap from her crossed knee to her face being closed by a slender forearm and hand that held a lorgnette, through which she was gazing at the children with an apparently absorbed interest. This impression of willowy flexibility was somehow heightened by large, pear-shaped pendants hanging from her ears, by a certain filminess in her black costume and hat. Flung across the table beside her was a long coat of grey fur. She struck an odd note here, presented a strange contrast to Janet's friend from Silliston, with his rough suit and fine but rugged features.

She walked with him up the narrow stairway to a large loft, which was made less bare by draped American flags. Hanging from the roof beams were makeshift electric lights, and the children were already seated at the four long tables, where half a dozen women were serving them enamel bowls filled with steaming soup. They dug into it hungrily, and the lack of chatter and laughter that usually fills children's gatherings moved her, making her realize, more than anything else, the poverty of the homes these little ones had come from. The supplies that arrived in Hampton, the money that flowed into Headquarters, weren't enough to ease the suffering, even now. And what if the strike lasted for months? Would they be able to endure, to succeed? In this moment of pity, mixed with anxiety and gratitude for what this man was doing, she turned to speak to him and noticed a woman sitting on the platform at the end of the room. The curve of her back was so pronounced that she resembled a sideways letter u, her crossed knee to her face connected by a slender forearm holding a lorgnette, through which she was gazing at the children with seemingly absorbed interest. This impression of graceful flexibility was accentuated by large, pear-shaped earrings, and a certain sheerness in her black outfit and hat. A long grey fur coat lay across the table beside her. She stood out in an unusual way, presenting a stark contrast to Janet's friend from Silliston, who was dressed in a rough suit with rugged but handsome features.

“I'm sorry I haven't a table for you just at present,” he was saying. “But perhaps you'll let me take your order,”—and he imitated the obsequious attitude of a waiter. “A little fresh caviar and a clear soup, and then a fish—?”

“I'm sorry I don’t have a table available for you right now,” he said. “But maybe you’ll let me take your order,”—and he mimicked the overly polite stance of a waiter. “How about some fresh caviar and a clear soup, and then maybe a fish—?”

The lady took down her lorgnette and raised an appealing face.

The lady lowered her lorgnette and raised a charming face.

“You're always joking, Brooks,” she chided him, “even when you're doing things like this! I can't get you to talk seriously even when I come all the way from New York to find out what's going on here.”

“You're always joking, Brooks,” she scolded him, “even when you're doing things like this! I can't get you to talk seriously, even when I come all the way from New York to find out what's going on here.”

“How hungry children eat, for instance?” he queried.

“How do hungry children eat, for example?” he asked.

“Dear little things, it's heartrending!” she exclaimed. “Especially when I think of my own children, who have to be made to eat. Tell me the nationality of that adorable tot at the end.”

“Dear little things, it's so heartbreaking!” she exclaimed. “Especially when I think of my own kids, who have to be forced to eat. Tell me the nationality of that adorable little one at the end.”

“Perhaps Miss Bumpus can tell you,” he ventured. And Janet, though distinctly uncomfortable and hostile to the lady, was surprised and pleased that he should have remembered her name. “Brooks,” she had called him. That was his first name. This strange and sumptuous person seemed intimate with him. Could it be possible that he belonged to her class? “Mrs. Brocklehurst, Miss Bumpus.”

“Maybe Miss Bumpus can tell you,” he said. And Janet, although feeling quite uncomfortable and unfriendly toward the lady, was surprised and pleased that he had remembered her name. “Brooks,” she had called him. That was his first name. This strange and impressive person seemed to know him well. Could it be possible that he was part of her social class? “Mrs. Brocklehurst, Miss Bumpus.”

Mrs. Brocklehurst focussed her attention on Janet, through the lorgnette, but let it fall immediately, smiling on her brightly, persuasively.

Mrs. Brocklehurst directed her gaze at Janet through the lorgnette, but quickly shifted her focus, smiling at her warmly and encouragingly.

“How d'ye do?” she said, stretching forth a slender arm and taking the girl's somewhat reluctant hand. “Do come and sit down beside me and tell me about everything here. I'm sure you know—you look so intelligent.”

“How do you do?” she said, reaching out a slim arm and taking the girl’s somewhat hesitant hand. “Please come and sit beside me and tell me all about everything here. I’m sure you know—you look so smart.”

Her friend from Silliston shot at Janet an amused but fortifying glance and left them, going down to the tables. Somehow that look of his helped to restore in her a sense of humour and proportion, and her feeling became one of curiosity concerning this exquisitely soigneed being of an order she had read about, but never encountered—an order which her newly acquired views declared to be usurpers and parasites. But despite her palpable effort to be gracious perhaps because of it—Mrs. Brocklehurst had an air about her that was disconcerting! Janet, however, seemed composed as she sat down.

Her friend from Silliston shot Janet an amused yet reassuring glance and left them to head down to the tables. Somehow, that look helped rekindle her sense of humor and perspective, making her feel curious about this elegantly refined person she had read about but never met—someone her recent views labeled as usurpers and parasites. Yet, despite her clear effort to be polite, Mrs. Brocklehurst had an unsettling presence! Still, Janet appeared calm as she took a seat.

“I'm afraid I don't know very much. Maybe you will tell me something, first.”

“Honestly, I don’t know much. Maybe you could share something with me first.”

“Why, certainly,” said Mrs. Brocklehurst, sweetly when she had got her breath.

“Of course,” said Mrs. Brocklehurst, kindly after she had caught her breath.

“Who is that man?” Janet asked.

“Who is that guy?” Janet asked.

“Whom do you mean—Mr. Insall?”

“Who do you mean—Mr. Insall?”

“Is that his name? I didn't know. I've seen him twice, but he never told me.”

“Is that his name? I had no idea. I've seen him twice, but he never mentioned it to me.”

“Why, my dear, do you mean to say you haven't heard of Brooks Insall?”

“Why, my dear, are you saying you haven't heard of Brooks Insall?”

“Brooks Insall.” Janet repeated the name, as her eyes sought his figure between the tables. “No.”

“Brooks Insall.” Janet said the name again, her eyes scanning the area for him among the tables. “No.”

“I'm sure I don't know why I should have expected you to hear of him,” declared the lady, repentantly. “He's a writer—an author.” And at this Janet gave a slight exclamation of pleasure and surprise. “You admire writers? He's done some delightful things.”

“I'm not sure why I thought you would have heard of him,” the lady said, a little regretfully. “He’s a writer—an author.” At this, Janet let out a small exclamation of happiness and surprise. “You admire writers? He’s created some wonderful work.”

“What does he write about?” Janet asked.

“What does he write about?” Janet asked.

“Oh, wild flowers and trees and mountains and streams, and birds and humans—he has a wonderful insight into people.”

“Oh, wildflowers, trees, mountains, streams, birds, and people—he has an amazing understanding of humanity.”

Janet was silent. She was experiencing a swift twinge of jealousy, of that familiar rebellion against her limitations.

Janet was quiet. She felt a quick surge of jealousy, that familiar defiance against her limitations.

“You must read them, my dear,” Mrs. Brocklehurst continued softly, in musical tones. “They are wonderful, they have such distinction. He's walked, I'm told, over every foot of New England, talking to the farmers and their wives and—all sorts of people.” She, too, paused to let her gaze linger upon Insall laughing and chatting with the children as they ate. “He has such a splendid, 'out-door' look don't you think? And he's clever with his hands he bought an old abandoned farmhouse in Silliston and made it all over himself until it looks as if one of our great-great-grandfathers had just stepped out of it to shoot an Indian only much prettier. And his garden is a dream. It's the most unique place I've ever known.”

“You have to read them, my dear,” Mrs. Brocklehurst continued softly, in a musical tone. “They’re amazing; they have such elegance. I’ve heard he’s walked every inch of New England, talking to farmers, their wives, and all sorts of people.” She also paused to watch Insall laughing and chatting with the children as they ate. “He has such a wonderful, ‘outdoorsy’ look, don’t you think? And he’s skilled with his hands. He bought an old abandoned farmhouse in Silliston and completely restored it until it looks like something out of our great-great-grandfathers’ time, except much prettier. And his garden is a dream. It’s the most unique place I’ve ever seen.”

Janet blushed deeply as she recalled how she had mistaken him for a carpenter: she was confused, overwhelmed, she had a sudden longing to leave the place, to be alone, to think about this discovery. Yet she wished to know more.

Janet flushed as she remembered how she had thought he was a carpenter: she felt confused and overwhelmed, and she suddenly wanted to leave, to be alone, to reflect on this realization. But she also wanted to learn more.

“But how did he happen to come here to Hampton—to be doing this?” she asked.

“But how did he end up here in Hampton—doing this?” she asked.

“Well, that's just what makes him interesting, one never can tell what he'll do. He took it into his head to collect the money to feed these children; I suppose he gave much of it himself. He has an income of his own, though he likes to live so simply.”

“Well, that's what makes him so interesting; you can never tell what he’ll do next. He decided to raise money to feed these kids; I guess he donated a lot himself. He has his own income, but he prefers to live very simply.”

“This place—it's not connected with any organization?” Janet ejaculated.

“This place—it's not part of any organization?” Janet exclaimed.

“That's the trouble, he doesn't like organizations, and he doesn't seem to take any interest in the questions or movements of the day,” Mrs. Brocklehurst complained. “Or at least he refuses to talk about them, though I've known him for many years, and his people and mine were friends. Now there are lots of things I want to learn, that I came up from New York to find out. I thought of course he'd introduce me to the strike leaders, and he tells me he doesn't know one of them. Perhaps you know them,” she added, with sudden inspiration.

“That's the problem, he doesn't like organizations, and he doesn't seem to care about the current issues or movements,” Mrs. Brocklehurst complained. “Or at least he won’t talk about them, even though I've known him for many years, and our families have been friends. Now there are so many things I want to learn, which is why I came up from New York to find out. I thought he would introduce me to the strike leaders, but he says he doesn’t know any of them. Maybe you know them,” she added, suddenly inspired.

“I'm only an employee at Strike Headquarters,” Janet replied, stiffening a little despite the lady's importuning look—which evidently was usually effective.

“I'm just an employee at Strike Headquarters,” Janet replied, tensing up a bit despite the woman's pleading gaze—which clearly was usually successful.

“You mean the I.W.W.?”

"You mean the I.W.W.?"

“Yes.”

"Yep."

Meanwhile Insall had come up and seated himself below them on the edge of the platform.

Meanwhile, Insall had approached and seated himself below them on the edge of the platform.

“Oh, Brooks, your friend Miss Bumpus is employed in the Strike Headquarters!” Mrs. Brocklehurst cried, and turning to Janet she went on. “I didn't realize you were a factory girl, I must say you don't look it.”

“Oh, Brooks, your friend Miss Bumpus works at the Strike Headquarters!” Mrs. Brocklehurst exclaimed, and turning to Janet, she continued. “I didn't know you were a factory girl; I have to say, you don't look like one.”

Once more a gleam of amusement from Insall saved Janet, had the effect of compelling her to meet the affair somewhat after his own manner. He seemed to be putting the words into her mouth, and she even smiled a little, as she spoke.

Once again, a glimmer of amusement from Insall helped Janet, making her approach the situation in a way similar to his. It felt like he was placing the words in her mouth, and she even smiled a bit as she talked.

“You never can tell what factory girls do look like in these days,” she observed mischievously.

“You never can tell what factory girls look like these days,” she said playfully.

“That's so,” Mrs. Brocklehurst agreed, “we are living in such extraordinary times, everything topsy turvy. I ought to have realized—it was stupid of me—I know several factory girls in New York, I've been to their meetings, I've had them at my house—shirtwaist strikers.”

“That's true,” Mrs. Brocklehurst agreed, “we're living in such crazy times, everything's turned upside down. I should have realized—it was foolish of me—I know several factory girls in New York, I've attended their meetings, I've invited them to my house—shirtwaist strikers.”

She assumed again the willowy, a position, her fingers clasped across her knee, her eyes supplicatingly raised to Janet. Then she reached out her hand and touched the I.W.W. button. “Do tell me all about the Industrial Workers, and what they believe,” she pleaded.

She took on the willowy position again, her fingers clasped across her knee, her eyes pleadingly raised to Janet. Then she reached out and touched the I.W.W. button. “Please, tell me everything about the Industrial Workers and what they believe,” she urged.

“Well,” said Janet, after a slight pause, “I'm afraid you won't like it much. Why do you want to know?”

“Well,” said Janet, after a brief pause, “I’m afraid you won’t like it much. Why do you want to know?”

“Because I'm so interested—especially in the women of the movement. I feel for them so, I want to help—to do something, too. Of course you're a suffragist.”

“Because I'm really interested—especially in the women of the movement. I feel deeply for them, and I want to help—to do something, too. Of course, you're a suffragist.”

“You mean, do I believe in votes for women? Yes, I suppose I do.”

“You’re asking if I believe in women’s right to vote? Yeah, I guess I do.”

“But you must,” declared Mrs. Brocklehurst, still sweetly, but with emphasis. “You wouldn't be working, you wouldn't be striking unless you did.”

“But you have to,” Mrs. Brocklehurst insisted, still sweetly but with emphasis. “You wouldn't be working, you wouldn't be striking unless you did.”

“I've never thought about it,” said Janet.

“I've never thought about it,” Janet said.

“But how are you working girls ever going to raise wages unless you get the vote? It's the only way men ever get anywhere—the politicians listen to them.” She produced from her bag a gold pencil and a tablet. “Mrs. Ned Carfax is here from Boston—I saw her for a moment at the hotel she's been here investigating for nearly three days, she tells me. I'll have her send you suffrage literature at once, if you'll give me your address.”

“But how are you working women ever going to raise wages unless you get the vote? It’s the only way men ever make progress—the politicians actually listen to them.” She pulled out a gold pencil and a notepad from her bag. “Mrs. Ned Carfax is in town from Boston—I spoke with her for a moment at the hotel; she’s been here investigating for almost three days, she said. I’ll have her send you suffrage materials right away if you give me your address.”

“You want a vote?” asked Janet, curiously, gazing at the pearl earrings.

“You want a vote?” asked Janet, intrigued, looking at the pearl earrings.

“Certainly I want one.”

"Of course I want one."

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Why?” repeated Mrs. Brocklehurst.

“Why?” Mrs. Brocklehurst repeated.

“Yes. You must have everything you want.”

“Yes. You should have everything you want.”

Even then the lady's sweet reasonableness did not desert her. She smiled winningly, displaying two small and even rows of teeth.

Even then, the lady's charming sense of reason didn’t abandon her. She smiled warmly, showing two small and even rows of teeth.

“On principle, my dear. For one reason, because I have such sympathy with women who toil, and for another, I believe the time has come when women must no longer be slaves, they must assert themselves, become individuals, independent.”

“On principle, my dear. One reason is that I have so much sympathy for women who work hard, and another is that I believe the time has come for women to no longer be treated as slaves. They need to stand up for themselves, become individuals, and be independent.”

“But you?” exclaimed Janet.

“But what about you?” exclaimed Janet.

Mrs. Brocklehurst continued to smile encouragingly, and murmured “Yes?”

Mrs. Brocklehurst kept smiling encouragingly and said, “Yes?”

“You are not a slave.”

"You aren't a slave."

A delicate pink, like the inside of a conch shell, spread over Mrs. Brocklehurst's cheeks.

A delicate pink, like the inside of a conch shell, spread over Mrs. Brocklehurst's cheeks.

“We're all slaves,” she declared with a touch of passion. “It's hard for you to realize, I know, about those of us who seem more fortunate than our sisters. But it's true. The men give us jewels and automobiles and clothes, but they refuse to give us what every real woman craves—liberty.”

“We're all trapped,” she said passionately. “I know it's hard for you to see, especially when some of us appear more fortunate than others. But it's the truth. The men give us diamonds, cars, and clothes, but they won’t give us what every real woman desires—freedom.”

Janet had become genuinely interested.

Janet had become truly interested.

“But what kind of liberty?”

“But what type of freedom?”

“Liberty to have a voice, to take part in the government of our country, to help make the laws, especially those concerning working-women and children, what they ought to be.”

“Freedom to express ourselves, to participate in the government of our country, to help create the laws, especially those regarding working women and children, as they should be.”

Here was altruism, truly! Here were words that should have inspired Janet, yet she was silent. Mrs. Brocklehurst gazed at her solicitously.

Here was genuine altruism! Here were words that should have inspired Janet, yet she remained silent. Mrs. Brocklehurst looked at her with concern.

“What are you thinking?” she urged—and it was Janet's turn to flush.

“What are you thinking?” she pressed—and it was Janet's turn to blush.

“I was just thinking that you seemed to have everything life has to give, and yet—and yet you're not happy.”

“I was just thinking that you seem to have everything life has to offer, and yet—and yet you’re not happy.”

“Oh, I'm not unhappy,” protested the lady. “Why do you say that?”

“Oh, I'm not unhappy,” the lady protested. “Why do you say that?”

“I don't know. You, too, seem to be wanting something.”

"I don't know. You also seem to want something."

“I want to be of use, to count,” said Mrs. Brocklehurst,—and Janet was startled to hear from this woman's lips the very echo of her own desires.

“I want to be helpful, to matter,” said Mrs. Brocklehurst,—and Janet was surprised to hear the exact reflection of her own desires coming from this woman's lips.

Mrs. Brocklehurst's feelings had become slightly complicated. It is perhaps too much to say that her complacency was shaken. She was, withal, a person of resolution—of resolution taking the form of unswerving faith in herself, a faith persisting even when she was being carried beyond her depth. She had the kind of pertinacity that sever admits being out of depth, the happy buoyancy that does not require to feel the bottom under one's feet. She floated in swift currents. When life became uncomfortable, she evaded it easily; and she evaded it now, as she gazed at the calm but intent face of the girl in front of her, by a characteristic inner refusal to admit that she had accidentally come in contact with something baking. Therefore she broke the silence.

Mrs. Brocklehurst's feelings had gotten a bit complicated. It might be too much to say her confidence was shaken. Still, she was a determined person—her determination showed as an unwavering belief in herself, a belief that held strong even when she felt overwhelmed. She had a persistence that never acknowledged being out of her depth, the kind of lightness that didn’t need to feel solid ground beneath her feet. She floated along in fast currents. When life got uncomfortable, she easily dodged it; and she did so now, as she looked at the calm but focused face of the girl in front of her, by instinctively refusing to admit she had accidentally stumbled into something challenging. So, she broke the silence.

“Isn't that what you want—you who are striking?” she asked.

“Isn't that what you want—you who are amazing?” she asked.

“I think we want the things that you've got,” said Janet. A phrase one of the orators had used came into her mind, “Enough money to live up to American standards”—but she did not repeat it. “Enough money to be free, to enjoy life, to have some leisure and amusement and luxury.” The last three she took from the orator's mouth.

“I think we want what you have,” said Janet. A phrase one of the speakers had used popped into her head, “Enough money to live up to American standards”—but she didn’t say it out loud. “Enough money to be free, to enjoy life, to have some downtime and fun and luxury.” The last three she borrowed from the speaker's words.

“But surely,” exclaimed Mrs. Brocklehurst, “surely you want more than that!”

“But surely,” exclaimed Mrs. Brocklehurst, “you want more than that!”

Janet shook her head.

Janet shook her head.

“You asked me what we believed, the I.W.W., the syndicalists, and I told you you wouldn't like it. Well, we believe in doing away with you, the rich, and taking all you have for ourselves, the workers, the producers. We believe you haven't any right to what you've got, that you've fooled and cheated us out of it. That's why we women don't care much about the vote, I suppose, though I never thought of it. We mean to go on striking until we've got all that you've got.”

“You asked me what we believe, the I.W.W. and the syndicalists, and I told you that you wouldn't like it. Well, we believe in getting rid of you rich people and taking everything you have for ourselves, the workers, the producers. We believe you don't have any right to what you've got, that you've tricked and cheated us out of it. That's why we women don't really care much about the vote, I guess, though I never thought about it. We plan to keep striking until we have everything you have.”

“But what will become of us?” said Mrs. Brocklehurst. “You wouldn't do away with all of us! I admit there are many who don't—but some do sympathize with you, will help you get what you want, help you, perhaps, to see things more clearly, to go about it less—ruthlessly.”

“But what will happen to us?” Mrs. Brocklehurst said. “You wouldn’t get rid of all of us! I admit there are many who don’t, but some do sympathize with you, will help you get what you want, help you, maybe, to see things more clearly, to approach it less—harshly.”

“I've told you what we believe,” repeated Janet.

"I've told you what we believe," Janet said again.

“I'm so glad I came,” cried Mrs. Brocklehurst. “It's most interesting! I never knew what the syndicalists believed. Why, it's like the French Revolution—only worse. How are you going to get rid of us? cut our heads off?”

“I'm so glad I came,” exclaimed Mrs. Brocklehurst. “It's really interesting! I never knew what the syndicalists believed. It's like the French Revolution—except worse. How do you plan to get rid of us? Chop our heads off?”

Janet could not refrain from smiling.

Janet couldn't help smiling.

“Let you starve, I suppose.”

"Guess you can starve."

“Really!” said Mrs. Brocklehurst, and appeared to be trying to visualize the process. She was a true Athenian, she had discovered some new thing, she valued discoveries more than all else in life, she collected them, though she never used them save to discuss them with intellectuals at her dinner parties. “Now you must let me come to Headquarters and get a glimpse of some of the leaders—of Antonelli, and I'm told there's a fascinating man named Rowe.”

“Really!” said Mrs. Brocklehurst, trying to imagine the whole thing. She was a true enthusiast, always discovering something new; she valued discoveries more than anything else in life and collected them, though she only used them to discuss with intellectuals at her dinner parties. “Now you have to let me come to Headquarters and catch a glimpse of some of the leaders—like Antonelli, and I’ve heard there’s a fascinating guy named Rowe.”

“Rolfe,” Janet corrected.

"Rolfe," Janet said.

“Rolfe—that's it.” She glanced down at the diminutive watch, set with diamonds, on her wrist, rose and addressed Insall. “Oh dear, I must be going, I'm to lunch with Nina Carfax at one, and she's promised to tell me a lot of things. She's writing an article for Craven's Weekly all about the strike and the suffering and injustice—she says it's been horribly misrepresented to the public, the mill owners have had it all their own way. I think what you're doing is splendid, Brooks, only—” here she gave him an appealing, rather commiserating look—“only I do wish you would take more interest in—in underlying principles.”

“Rolfe—that's it.” She looked down at her small diamond-studded watch, got up, and spoke to Insall. “Oh dear, I really have to go. I’m having lunch with Nina Carfax at one, and she promised to fill me in on a lot. She’s writing an article for Craven's Weekly about the strike, the suffering, and the injustice—she says it has been terribly misrepresented to the public, and the mill owners have gotten their way. I think what you’re doing is great, Brooks, but—” here she gave him a sympathetic, almost pitying look—“but I really wish you would focus more on the underlying principles.”

Insall smiled.

Insall grinned.

“It's a question of brains. You have to have brains to be a sociologist,” he answered, as he held up for her the fur coat. With a gesture of gentle reproof she slipped into it, and turned to Janet.

“It's a matter of intelligence. You need to be smart to be a sociologist,” he replied, holding up the fur coat for her. With a gentle reprimand, she slipped into it and turned to Janet.

“You must let me see more of you, my dear,” she said. “I'm at the best hotel, I can't remember the name, they're all so horrible—but I'll be here until to-morrow afternoon. I want to find out everything. Come and call on me. You're quite the most interesting person I've met for a long time—I don't think you realize how interesting you are. Au revoir!” She did not seem to expect any reply, taking acquiescence for granted. Glancing once more at the rows of children, who had devoured their meal in an almost uncanny silence, she exclaimed, “The dears! I'm going to send you a cheque, Brooks, even if you have been horrid to me—you always are.”

“You have to let me see more of you, my dear,” she said. “I'm at the best hotel, though I can't remember the name— they're all so awful—but I'll be here until tomorrow afternoon. I want to learn everything. Come visit me. You're the most interesting person I've met in a long time—I don’t think you realize just how interesting you are. Goodbye!” She didn’t seem to expect a response, assuming she’d get one. Glancing one last time at the rows of children, who had finished their meal in an almost eerie silence, she exclaimed, “The sweethearts! I'm going to send you a check, Brooks, even if you've been terrible to me—you always are.”

“Horrid!” repeated Insall, “put it down to ignorance.”

“Horrible!” Insall said again, “chalk it up to ignorance.”

He accompanied her down the stairs. From her willowy walk a sophisticated observer would have hazarded the guess that her search for an occupation had included a course of lessons in fancy dancing.

He walked with her down the stairs. From her graceful stride, a keen observer might have guessed that her quest for a job included taking lessons in fancy dancing.

Somewhat dazed by this interview which had been so suddenly forced upon her, Janet remained seated on the platform. She had the perception to recognize that in Mrs. Brocklehurst and Insall she had come in contact with a social stratum hitherto beyond the bounds of her experience; those who belonged to that stratum were not characterized by the possession of independent incomes alone, but by an attitude toward life, a manner of not appearing to take its issues desperately. Ditmar was not like that. She felt convicted of enthusiasms, she was puzzled, rather annoyed and ashamed. Insall and Mrs. Brocklehurst, different though they were, had this attitude in common.... Insall, when he returned, regarded her amusedly.

Somewhat shocked by the interview that had suddenly been thrust upon her, Janet stayed seated on the platform. She realized that, with Mrs. Brocklehurst and Insall, she had encountered a social level she had never experienced before; those in that level weren’t just defined by having independent incomes, but also by their approach to life, a way of not seeming to take its challenges too seriously. Ditmar didn’t share that attitude. She felt overwhelmed with emotions, confused, somewhat irritated, and embarrassed. Insall and Mrs. Brocklehurst, although different from one another, shared this common outlook... When Insall returned, he looked at her with amusement.

“So you'd like to exterminate Mrs. Brocklehurst?” he asked.

“So you want to get rid of Mrs. Brocklehurst?” he asked.

And Janet flushed. “Well, she forced me to say it.”

And Janet blushed. “Well, she made me say it.”

“Oh, it didn't hurt her,” he said.

“Oh, it didn't hurt her,” he said.

“And it didn't help her,” Janet responded quickly.

“And it didn’t help her,” Janet replied quickly.

“No, it didn't help her,” Insall agreed, and laughed.

“No, it didn't help her,” Insall said, laughing.

“But I'm not sure it isn't true,” she went on, “that we want what she's got.” The remark, on her own lips, surprised Janet a little. She had not really meant to make it. Insall seemed to have the quality of forcing one to think out loud.

“But I’m not sure it’s not true,” she continued, “that we want what she has.” The comment surprised Janet a bit when she heard it come out of her own mouth. She hadn’t really intended to say it. Insall had a way of making people think out loud.

“And what she wants, you've got,” he told her.

“And what she wants, you have,” he told her.

“What have I got?”

“What do I have?”

“Perhaps you'll find out, some day.”

“Maybe you'll find out one day.”

“It may be too late,” she exclaimed. “If you'd only tell me, it might help.”

“It might be too late,” she said. “If you’d just tell me, it could help.”

“I think it's something you'll have to discover for yourself,” he replied, more gravely than was his wont.

“I think it's something you'll have to figure out for yourself,” he replied, more seriously than usual.

She was silent a moment, and then she demanded: “Why didn't you tell me who you were? You let me think, when I met you in Silliston that day, that you were a carpenter. I didn't know you'd written books.”

She was quiet for a moment, and then she asked, “Why didn't you tell me who you were? You made me think, when I met you in Silliston that day, that you were a carpenter. I had no idea you’d written books.”

“You can't expect writers to wear uniforms, like policemen—though perhaps we ought to, it might be a little fairer to the public,” he said. “Besides, I am a carpenter, a better carpenter than a writer..”

“You can't expect writers to wear uniforms like police officers—though maybe we should, it could be a bit fairer to the public,” he said. “Besides, I’m a carpenter, a better carpenter than a writer...”

“I'd give anything to be an author!” she cried.

“I’d do anything to be a writer!” she exclaimed.

“It's a hard life,” he assured her. “We have to go about seeking inspiration from others.”

“It's a tough life,” he assured her. “We have to look for inspiration from others.”

“Is that why you came to Hampton?”

“Is that why you came to Hampton?”

“Well, not exactly. It's a queer thing about inspiration, you only find it when you're not looking for it.”

“Well, not really. It's a strange thing about inspiration; you only find it when you're not searching for it.”

She missed the point of this remark, though his eyes were on her. They were not like Rolfe's eyes, insinuating, possessive; they had the anomalistic quality, of being at once personal and impersonal, friendly, alight, evoking curiosity yet compelling trust.

She misunderstood the meaning of this comment, even though he was looking at her. His eyes were different from Rolfe's—those were suggestive and possessive. His had a strange mix of being both personal and distant, warm and inviting, sparking curiosity but also inspiring trust.

“And you didn't tell me,” he reproached her, “that you were at I.W.W. Headquarters.”

“And you didn't tell me,” he said to her, “that you were at I.W.W. Headquarters.”

A desire for self-justification impelled her to exclaim: “You don't believe in Syndicalism—and yet you've come here to feed these children!”

A need to defend herself made her shout: “You don't believe in Syndicalism—and yet you’ve come here to help these kids!”

“Oh, I think I understand the strike,” he said.

“Oh, I think I get the strike,” he said.

“How? Have you seen it? Have you heard the arguments?”

“How? Have you seen it? Have you heard the debates?”

“No. I've seen you. You've explained it.”

“No. I’ve seen you. You’ve already explained it.”

“To Mrs. Brocklehurst?”

“To Mrs. Brocklehurst?”

“It wasn't necessary,” he replied—and immediately added, in semi-serious apology: “I thought it was admirable, what you said. If she'd talked to a dozen syndicalist leaders, she couldn't have had it put more clearly. Only I'm afraid she doesn't know the truth when she hears it.”

“It wasn't necessary,” he replied—and quickly added, in a somewhat serious apology: “I thought what you said was impressive. If she had spoken to a dozen syndicalist leaders, she couldn’t have expressed it more clearly. I just worry that she doesn't recognize the truth when she hears it.”

“Now you're making fun of me!”

“Now you’re just teasing me!”

“Indeed I'm not,” he protested.

“I'm really not,” he protested.

“But I didn't give any of the arguments, any of the—philosophy,” she pronounced the word hesitatingly. “I don't understand it yet as well as I should.”

“But I didn't present any of the arguments, none of the—philosophy,” she said the word with hesitation. “I still don't understand it as well as I should.”

“You are it,” he said. “It's not always easy to understand what we are—it's generally after we've become something else that we comprehend what we have been.”

“You’re it,” he said. “It’s not always easy to understand what we are—it’s usually after we’ve become something else that we realize what we’ve been.”

And while she was pondering over this one of the ladies who had been waiting on the table came toward Insall.

And while she was thinking about this, one of the women who had been serving at the table walked over to Insall.

“The children have finished, Brooks,” she informed him. “It's time to let in the others.”

“The kids are done, Brooks,” she told him. “It’s time to let the others in.”

Insall turned to Janet. “This is Miss Bumpus—and this is Mrs. Maturin,” he said. “Mrs. Maturin lives in Silliston.”

Insall turned to Janet. “This is Miss Bumpus—and this is Mrs. Maturin,” he said. “Mrs. Maturin lives in Silliston.”

The greeting of this lady differed from that of Mrs. Brocklehurst. She, too, took Janet's hand.

The way this lady greeted Janet was different from how Mrs. Brocklehurst did. She also took Janet's hand.

“Have you come to help us?” she asked.

“Did you come to help us?” she asked.

And Janet said: “Oh, I'd like to, but I have other work.”

And Janet said, “Oh, I’d love to, but I have other work.”

“Come in and see us again,” said Insall, and Janet, promising, took her leave....

“Come in and see us again,” said Insall, and Janet, agreeing, said goodbye....

“Who is she, Brooks?” Mrs. Maturin asked, when Janet had gone.

“Who is she, Brooks?” Mrs. Maturin asked, after Janet had left.

“Well,” he answered, “I don't know. What does it matter?”

“Well,” he replied, “I don’t know. What’s the difference?”

Mrs. Maturin smiled.

Mrs. Maturin smiled.

“I should say that it did matter,” she replied. “But there's something unusual about her—where did you find her?”

“I have to say that it did matter,” she replied. “But there's something different about her—where did you find her?”

“She found me.” And Insall explained. “She was a stenographer, it seems, but now she's enlisted heart and soul with the syndicalists,” he added.

“She found me.” Insall explained. “She was a stenographer, it seems, but now she's fully committed to the syndicalists,” he added.

“A history?” Mrs. Maturin queried. “Well, I needn't ask—it's written on her face.”

“A history?” Mrs. Maturin asked. “Well, I don’t need to ask—it’s written on her face.”

“That's all I know,” said Insall.

“That's everything I know,” said Insall.

“I'd like to know,” said Mrs. Maturin. “You say she's in the strike?”

“I'd like to know,” said Mrs. Maturin. “You say she's on strike?”

“I should rather put it that the strike is in her.”

“I should say that the strike is inside her.”

“What do you mean, Brooks?”

"What do you mean, Brooks?"

But Insall did not reply.

But Insall didn't respond.

Janet came away from Dey Street in a state of mental and emotional confusion. The encounter with Mrs. Brocklehurst had been upsetting; she had an uneasy feeling of having made a fool of herself in Insall's eyes; she desired his approval, even on that occasion when she had first met him and mistaken him for a workman she had been conscious of a compelling faculty in him, of a pressure he exerted demanding justification of herself; and to-day, because she was now pledged to Syndicalism, because she had made the startling discovery that he was a writer of some renown, she had been more than ever anxious to vindicate her cause. She found herself, indeed, wondering uneasily whether there were a higher truth of which he was in possession. And the fact that his attitude toward her had been one of sympathy and friendliness rather than of disapproval, that his insight seemed to have fathomed her case, apprehended it in all but the details, was even more disturbing—yet vaguely consoling. The consolatory element in the situation was somehow connected with the lady, his friend from Silliston, to whom he had introduced her and whose image now came before her the more vividly, perhaps, in contrast with that of Mrs. Brocklehurst. Mrs. Maturin—could Janet have so expressed her thought! had appeared as an extension of Insall's own personality. She was a strong, tall, vital woman with a sweet irregularity of feature, with a heavy crown of chestnut hair turning slightly grey, quaintly braided, becomingly framing her face. Her colour was high. The impression she conveyed of having suffered was emphasized by the simple mourning gown she wore, but the dominant note she had struck was one of dependability. It was, after all, Insall's dominant, too. Insall had asked her to call again; and the reflection that she might do so was curiously comforting. The soup kitchen in the loft, with these two presiding over it, took on something of the aspect of a sanctuary....

Janet walked away from Dey Street feeling mentally and emotionally confused. Meeting Mrs. Brocklehurst had been upsetting; she felt uneasy about having embarrassed herself in Insall's eyes. She wanted his approval, even when she first met him and mistook him for a worker, she sensed a powerful presence in him, a pressure that made her feel she had to justify herself. Now, since she had committed to Syndicalism and discovered that he was a well-known writer, she felt even more compelled to defend her beliefs. She found herself wondering if he possessed a deeper truth. The fact that he treated her with sympathy and friendliness instead of disapproval, that he seemed to understand her situation almost completely, was both unsettling and somewhat reassuring. The comforting part of the situation was somehow related to the woman he had introduced her to from Silliston, whose image was clearer to her, perhaps in contrast to Mrs. Brocklehurst. Mrs. Maturin—if only Janet could express her thoughts like that!—appeared to be an extension of Insall’s own character. She was a tall, strong, vibrant woman with a sweetly irregular face, a heavy crown of chestnut hair slightly turning grey, and whimsically braided, elegantly framing her face. Her complexion was rosy. The impression she gave of having experienced hardship was highlighted by the simple black dress she wore, but the overall impression she left was one of reliability. That was, after all, Insall’s main quality too. Insall had asked her to come back; just thinking about it was oddly comforting. The soup kitchen in the loft, with these two in charge, felt almost like a sanctuary....

Insall, in some odd manner, and through the medium of that frivolous lady, had managed to reenforce certain doubts that had been stirring in Janet—doubts of Rolfe, of the verity of the doctrine which with such abandon she had embraced. It was Insall who, though remaining silent, just by being there seemed to have suggested her manner of dealing with Mrs. Brocklehurst. It had, indeed, been his manner of dealing with Mrs. Brocklehurst. Janet had somehow been using his words, his method, and thus for the first time had been compelled to look objectively on what she had deemed a part of herself. We never know what we are, he had said, until we become something else! He had forced her to use an argument that failed to harmonize, somehow, with Rolfe's poetical apologetics. Stripped of the glamour of these, was not Rolfe's doctrine just one of taking, taking? And when the workers were in possession of all, would not they be as badly off as Mrs. Brocklehurst or Ditmar? Rolfe, despite the inspiring intellectual creed he professed, lacked the poise and unity that go with happiness. He wanted things, for himself: whereas she beheld in Insall one who seemed emancipated from possessions, whose life was so organized as to make them secondary affairs. And she began to wonder what Insall would think of Ditmar.

Insall, in a strange way, and through that frivolous woman, had managed to reinforce certain doubts that had been brewing in Janet—doubts about Rolfe and the truth of the beliefs she had embraced so wholeheartedly. It was Insall who, though staying quiet, just by being present seemed to have influenced how she interacted with Mrs. Brocklehurst. It had, in fact, been his approach to dealing with Mrs. Brocklehurst. Janet had somehow been using his words, his style, and for the first time, she was forced to view what she thought was a part of her objectively. We never know who we are, he had said, until we become something else! He had pushed her to use an argument that somehow didn’t resonate with Rolfe's poetic justifications. Stripped of their allure, wasn’t Rolfe's doctrine just about taking, taking? And when the workers possessed everything, wouldn’t they be just as badly off as Mrs. Brocklehurst or Ditmar? Rolfe, despite the uplifting intellectual beliefs he claimed to uphold, lacked the balance and unity that come with happiness. He desired things for himself; meanwhile, she saw in Insall someone who seemed free from material possessions, whose life was organized in such a way that made them secondary. And she began to wonder what Insall would think of Ditmar.

These sudden flashes of tenderness for Ditmar startled and angered her. She had experienced them before, and always had failed to account for their intrusion into a hatred she cherished. Often, at her desk in the bibliotheque, she had surprised herself speculating upon what Ditmar might be doing at that moment; and it seemed curious, living in the same city with him, that she had not caught a glimpse of him during the strike. More than once, moved by a perverse impulse, she had ventured of an evening down West Street toward the guard of soldiers in the hope of catching sight of him. He had possessed her, and the memory of the wild joy of that possession, of that surrender to great strength, refused to perish. Why, at such moments, should she glory in a strength that had destroyed her and why, when she heard him cursed as the man who stood, more than any other, in the way of the strikers victory, should she paradoxically and fiercely rejoice? why should she feel pride when she was told of the fearlessness with which he went about the streets, and her heart stop beating when she thought of the possibility of his being shot? For these unwelcome phenomena within herself Janet could not account. When they disturbed and frightened her, she plunged into her work with the greater zeal....

These sudden moments of affection for Ditmar surprised and frustrated her. She had felt them before and had never understood why they intruded on the anger she held dear. Often, while at her desk in the library, she found herself wondering what Ditmar might be doing at that moment; it was odd, living in the same city as him, that she hadn’t seen him during the strike. More than once, driven by a strange urge, she had walked down West Street toward the soldiers, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. He had consumed her, and the memory of the intense joy from that connection, that surrender to his strength, wouldn’t fade. Why, in those moments, did she take pride in the strength that had brought her pain? Why, when she heard him condemned as the man who stood in the way of the strikers' victory, did she paradoxically feel a fierce joy? Why did she feel pride when she heard about how fearless he was on the streets, and her heart would stop at the thought of him getting shot? Janet couldn’t explain these unwelcome feelings within herself. When they unsettled and scared her, she threw herself into her work with even more determination.

As the weeks went by, the strain of the strike began to tell on the weak, the unprepared, on those who had many mouths to feed. Shivering with the cold of that hardest of winters, these unfortunates flocked to the Franco-Belgian Hall, where a little food or money in proportion to the size of their families was doled out to them. In spite of the contributions received by mail, of the soup kitchens and relief stations set up by various organizations in various parts of the city, the supply little more than sufficed to keep alive the more needy portion of the five and twenty thousand who now lacked all other means of support. Janet's heart was wrung as she gazed at the gaunt, bewildered faces growing daily more tragic, more bewildered and gaunt; she marvelled at the animal-like patience of these Europeans, at the dumb submission of most of them to privations that struck her as appalling. Some indeed complained, but the majority recited in monotonous, unimpassioned tones their stories of suffering, or of ill treatment by the “Cossacks” or the police. The stipends were doled out by Czernowitz, but all through the week there were special appeals. Once it was a Polish woman, wan and white, who carried her baby wrapped in a frayed shawl.

As the weeks passed, the toll of the strike started to weigh heavily on the weak, the unprepared, and those with many mouths to feed. Shivering from the bitter cold of that brutal winter, these unfortunate people flocked to the Franco-Belgian Hall, where a small amount of food or money was given out based on the size of their families. Despite the contributions received by mail and the soup kitchens and relief stations established by various organizations across the city, the supply barely managed to sustain the most needy among the twenty-five thousand who were now without any other means of support. Janet's heart ached as she looked at the thin, confused faces becoming increasingly tragic and gaunt each day; she was struck by the almost animal-like patience of these Europeans and their silent acceptance of hardships that she found shocking. Some did voice their complaints, but the majority shared their stories of suffering or mistreatment by the “Cossacks” or the police in flat, emotionless tones. The stipends were handed out by Czernowitz, but throughout the week, there were constant appeals for help. One time, it was a Polish woman, pale and frail, carrying her baby wrapped in a tattered shawl.

“Wahna littel money for milk,” she said, when at length their attention was drawn to her.

“Wanna little money for milk,” she said, when at last their attention was drawn to her.

“But you get your money, every Saturday,” the secretary informed her kindly.

“But you get your money every Saturday,” the secretary said kindly.

She shook her head.

She shook her head.

“Baby die, 'less I have littel milk—I show you.”

“Baby die, unless I have a little milk—I’ll show you.”

Janet drew back before the sight of the child with its sunken cheeks and ghastly blue lips.... And she herself went out with the woman to buy the milk, and afterwards to the dive in Kendall Street which she called home—in one of those “rear” tenements separated from the front buildings by a narrow court reeking with refuse. The place was dank and cold, malodorous. The man of the family, the lodgers who lived in the other room of the kennel, were out on the streets. But when her eyes grew used to the darkness she perceived three silent children huddled in the bed in the corner....

Janet flinched at the sight of the child with its sunken cheeks and ghastly blue lips... She then went out with the woman to buy the milk, and afterwards to the rundown place on Kendall Street that she called home—in one of those “rear” tenements separated from the front buildings by a narrow alley full of trash. The place was damp and cold, with a terrible smell. The man of the family, along with the lodgers in the other room of the rundown place, were out on the streets. But when her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she noticed three quiet children huddled in the bed in the corner...

On another occasion a man came running up the stairs of the Hall and thrust his way into a meeting of the Committee—one of those normally happy, irresponsible Syrians who, because of a love for holidays, are the despair of mill overseers. Now he was dazed, breathless, his great eyes grief-stricken like a wounded animal's.

On another occasion, a man came rushing up the stairs of the Hall and burst into a meeting of the Committee—one of those usually carefree, carefree Syrians who, due to their love for holidays, drive mill overseers crazy. Now he looked stunned, out of breath, his large eyes filled with sorrow like those of a wounded animal.

“She is killidd, my wife—de polees, dey killidd her!”

“She’s dead, my wife—the police, they killed her!”

It was Anna Mower who investigated the case. “The girl wasn't doing nothing but walk along Hudson Street when one of those hirelings set on her and beat her. She put out her hand because she thought he'd hit her—and he gave her three or four with his billy and left her in the gutter. If you'd see her you'd know she wouldn't hurt a fly, she's that gentle looking, like all the Syrian women. She had a 'Don't be a scab' ribbon on—that's all she done! Somebody'll shoot that guy, and I wouldn't blame 'em.” Anna stood beside Janet's typewriter, her face red with anger as she told the story.

It was Anna Mower who looked into the case. “The girl was just walking along Hudson Street when one of those thugs attacked her and beat her up. She reached out her hand because she thought he was going to hit her—and he whacked her three or four times with his club and left her in the gutter. If you saw her, you'd know she wouldn't hurt a fly; she looks so gentle, just like all the Syrian women. She had a 'Don't be a scab' ribbon on—that's all she did! Someone's going to shoot that guy, and I wouldn’t blame them.” Anna stood next to Janet's typewriter, her face flushed with anger as she recounted the story.

“And how is the woman now?” asked Janet.

“And how is the woman doing now?” asked Janet.

“In bed, with two ribs broken and a bruise on her back and a cut on her head. I got a doctor. He could hardly see her in that black place they live.”...

“In bed, with two broken ribs and a bruise on her back and a cut on her head. I called a doctor. He could barely see her in that dark hole they live in.”

Such were the incidents that fanned the hatred into hotter and hotter flame. Daily reports were brought in of arrests, of fines and imprisonments for picketing, or sometimes merely for booing at the remnant of those who still clung to their employment. One magistrate in particular, a Judge Hennessy, was hated above all others for giving the extreme penalty of the law, and even stretching it. “Minions, slaves of the capitalists, of the masters,” the courts were called, and Janet subscribed to these epithets, beheld the judges as willing agents of a tyranny from which she, too, had suffered. There arrived at Headquarters frenzied bearers of rumours such as that of the reported intention of landlords to remove the windows from the tenements if the rents were not paid. Antonelli himself calmed these. “Let the landlords try it!” he said phlegmatically....

Such were the events that fueled the hatred, making it burn even hotter. Daily updates came in about arrests, fines, and imprisonments for picketing, or sometimes just for booing at those who still held on to their jobs. One magistrate in particular, Judge Hennessy, was despised above all others for imposing the harshest penalties and even bending the rules. “Minions, slaves of the capitalists, of the masters,” the courts were called, and Janet agreed with these labels, viewing the judges as willing supporters of a tyranny from which she, too, had suffered. Frenzied messengers arrived at Headquarters with rumors, like the one about landlords planning to remove the windows from the tenements if the rent wasn't paid. Antonelli himself calmed these fears. “Let the landlords try it!” he said calmly.

After a while, as the deadlock showed no signs of breaking, the siege of privation began to tell, ominous signs of discontent became apparent. Chief among the waverers were those who had come to America with visions of a fortune, who had practised a repulsive thrift in order to acquire real estate, who carried in their pockets dog-eared bank books recording payments already made. These had consented to the strike reluctantly, through fear, or had been carried away by the eloquence and enthusiasm of the leaders, by the expectation that the mill owners would yield at once. Some went back to work, only to be “seen” by the militant, watchful pickets—generally in their rooms, at night. One evening, as Janet was walking home, she chanced to overhear a conversation taking place in the dark vestibule of a tenement.

After a while, as the deadlock showed no signs of breaking, the strain of deprivation started to take its toll, and clear signs of discontent emerged. The most uncertain were those who had come to America with dreams of fortune, who had practiced an uncomfortable frugality to buy property, and who carried worn bank books showing their previous payments. They had agreed to the strike reluctantly, out of fear, or were swept up by the passion and speech of the leaders, expecting the mill owners to give in immediately. Some returned to work, only to be spotted by the militant, watchful pickets—usually in their rooms at night. One evening, as Janet was walking home, she happened to overhear a conversation happening in the dark entrance of a tenement.

“Working to-day?”

“Working today?”

“Yah.”

"Yeah."

“Work to-morrow?”

"Work tomorrow?"

Hesitation. “I d'no.”

Hesitation. “I don't know.”

“You work, I cut your throat.” A significant noise. “Naw, I no work.”

“You work, I’ll cut your throat.” A loud sound. “Nah, I’m not working.”

“Shake!”

"Shake it!"

She hurried on trembling, not with fear, but exultingly. Nor did she reflect that only a month ago such an occurrence would have shocked and terrified her. This was war.... On her way to Fillmore Street she passed, at every street corner in this district, a pacing sentry, muffled in greatcoat and woollen cap, alert and watchful, the ugly knife on the end of his gun gleaming in the blue light of the arc. It did not occur to her, despite the uniform, that the souls of many of these men were divided also, that their voices and actions, when she saw them threatening with their bayonets, were often inspired by that inner desperation characteristic of men who find themselves unexpectedly in false situations. Once she heard a woman shriek as the sharp knife grazed her skirt: at another time a man whose steps had been considerably hurried turned, at a safe distance, and shouted defiantly:

She hurried on, trembling not with fear, but with excitement. She didn’t consider that just a month ago, this kind of thing would have shocked and terrified her. This was war.... On her way to Fillmore Street, she passed a sentry at every street corner in the area, wrapped in a greatcoat and wool hat, alert and watchful, the ugly knife on the end of his gun shining in the blue light of the streetlamp. It didn’t occur to her, despite the uniform, that many of these men were also conflicted, that their voices and actions, when she saw them threatening with their bayonets, were often driven by the inner desperation typical of men who find themselves unexpectedly in difficult situations. Once, she heard a woman scream as the sharp knife brushed against her skirt; at another time, a man whose steps had quickened turned at a safe distance and shouted defiantly:

“Say, who are you working for? Me or the Wool Trust?”

“Hey, who are you working for? Me or the Wool Trust?”

“Aw, get along,” retorted the soldier, “or I'll give you yours.”

“Aw, get along,” the soldier shot back, “or I’ll take care of you.”

The man caught sight of Janet's button as she overtook him. He was walking backward.

The man noticed Janet's button as she passed him. He was walking backward.

“That feller has a job in a machine shop over in Barrington, I seen him there when I was in the mills. And here he is tryin' to put us out—ain't that the limit?”

“That guy has a job in a machine shop over in Barrington; I saw him there when I was at the mills. And here he is trying to put us out—ain't that the limit?”

The thud of horses' feet in the snow prevented her reply. The silhouettes of the approaching squad of cavalry were seen down the street, and the man fled precipitately into an alleyway....

The sound of horses' hooves on the snow interrupted her response. The shadows of the oncoming cavalry squad appeared down the street, and the man quickly ran into an alleyway....

There were ludicrous incidents, too, though never lacking in a certain pathos. The wife of a Russian striker had her husband arrested because he had burned her clothes in order to prevent her returning to the mill. From the police station he sent a compatriot with a message to Headquarters. “Oye, he fix her! She no get her jawb now—she gotta stay in bed!” this one cried triumphantly.

There were ridiculous incidents, too, but they always had a touch of sadness. The wife of a Russian striker had her husband arrested because he burned her clothes to stop her from going back to the mill. From the police station, he sent a fellow countryman with a message to Headquarters. “Hey, he fixed her! She can’t get her job now—she has to stay in bed!” this one exclaimed triumphantly.

“She was like to tear me in pieces when I brought her the clothes,” said Anna Mower, who related her experience with mingled feelings. “I couldn't blame her. You see, it was the kids crying with cold and starvation, and she got so she just couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand it, neither.”

“She seemed ready to tear me apart when I brought her the clothes,” said Anna Mower, sharing her experience with mixed emotions. “I couldn't blame her. You see, it was the kids crying from the cold and hunger, and she reached a breaking point. I couldn't handle it either.”

Day by day the element who wished to compromise and end the strike grew stronger, brought more and more pressure on the leaders. These people were subsidized, Antonelli declared, by the capitalists....

Day by day, the group that wanted to reach a compromise and end the strike became stronger, putting more pressure on the leaders. Antonelli stated that these individuals were funded by the capitalists...





CHAPTER XVIII

A more serious atmosphere pervaded Headquarters, where it was realized that the issue hung in the balance. And more proclamations, a la Napoleon, were issued to sustain and hearten those who were finding bread and onions meagre fare, to shame the hesitating, the wavering. As has been said, it was Rolfe who, because of his popular literary gift, composed these appeals for the consideration of the Committee, dictating them to Janet as he paced up and down the bibliotheque, inhaling innumerable cigarettes and flinging down the ends on the floor. A famous one was headed “Shall Wool and Cotton Kings Rule the Nation?” “We are winning” it declared. “The World is with us! Forced by the unshaken solidarity of tens of thousands, the manufacturers offer bribes to end the reign of terror they have inaugurated.... Inhuman treatment and oppressive toil have brought all nationalities together into one great army to fight against a brutal system of exploitation. In years and years of excessive labour we have produced millions for a class of idle parasites, who enjoy all the luxuries of life while our wives have to leave their firesides and our children their schools to eke out a miserable existence.” And this for the militia: “The lowest aim of life is to be a soldier! The 'good' soldier never tries to distinguish right from wrong, he never thinks, he never reasons, he only obeys—”

A more serious atmosphere filled Headquarters, where everyone realized that the issue was hanging by a thread. More proclamations, like Napoleon's, were issued to support and uplift those who were finding bread and onions a poor meal, to shame those who hesitated or wavered. As mentioned, it was Rolfe who, due to his popular writing skills, crafted these calls to action for the Committee's consideration, dictating them to Janet as he paced the library, smoking countless cigarettes and tossing the butts on the floor. One famous piece was titled “Shall Wool and Cotton Kings Rule the Nation?” It declared, “We are winning! The World is with us! Forced by the unshakable unity of tens of thousands, the manufacturers are offering bribes to stop the reign of terror they have started.... Inhuman treatment and oppressive labor have united all nationalities into one massive army to fight against a brutal system of exploitation. For years of excessive work, we have produced millions for a class of idle parasites, who enjoy all the pleasures of life while our wives have to leave their homes and our children their schools to scrape by on a pitiful existence.” And this was for the militia: “The lowest aim in life is to be a soldier! The 'good' soldier never tries to distinguish right from wrong; he never thinks, he never reasons, he just obeys—”

“But,” Janet was tempted to say, “your syndicalism declares that none of us should think or reason. We should only feel.” She was beginning to detect Rolfe's inconsistencies, yet she refrained from interrupting the inspirational flow.

“But,” Janet was tempted to say, “your syndicalism says that none of us should think or reason. We should only feel.” She was starting to notice Rolfe's inconsistencies, yet she held back from interrupting the inspirational flow.

“The soldier is a blind, heartless, soulless, murderous machine.” Rolfe was fond of adjectives. “All that is human in him, all that is divine has been sworn away when he took the enlistment oath. No man can fall lower than a soldier. It is a depth beyond which we cannot go.”

“The soldier is a blind, heartless, soulless, murderous machine.” Rolfe was really into adjectives. “Everything human in him, everything divine has been given up when he took the enlistment oath. No man can sink lower than a soldier. It’s a depth we can’t go beyond.”

“All that is human, all that is divine,” wrote Janet, and thrilled a little at the words. Why was it that mere words, and their arrangement in certain sequences, gave one a delicious, creepy feeling up and down the spine? Her attitude toward him had become more and more critical, she had avoided him when she could, but when he was in this ecstatic mood she responded, forgot his red lips, his contradictions, lost herself in a medium she did not comprehend. Perhaps it was because, in his absorption in the task, he forgot her, forgot himself. She, too, despised the soldiers, fervently believed they had sold themselves to the oppressors of mankind. And Rolfe, when in the throes of creation, had the manner of speaking to the soldiers themselves, as though these were present in the lane just below the window; as though he were on the tribune. At such times he spoke with such rapidity that, quick though she was, she could scarcely keep up with him. “Most of you, Soldiers, are workingmen!” he cried. “Yesterday you were slaving in the mills yourselves. You will profit by our victory. Why should you wish to crush us? Be human!”

“All that is human, all that is divine,” wrote Janet, feeling a little thrill at the words. Why was it that just words and the way they were arranged in certain ways gave her a tingling sensation up and down her spine? Her attitude toward him had become more critical; she had avoided him as much as she could, but when he was in this ecstatic mood, she responded, forgot about his red lips and contradictions, losing herself in something she did not understand. Maybe it was because, in his intense focus on the task, he forgot about her, forgot about himself. She, too, hated the soldiers and passionately believed they had sold themselves to the oppressors of humanity. And Rolfe, when he was caught up in his creative process, spoke as if he were addressing the soldiers themselves, as if they were standing right outside the window, as if he were on a platform. During those moments, he spoke so quickly that, despite her quickness, she could barely keep up. “Most of you, Soldiers, are working-class!” he exclaimed. “Just yesterday, you were laboring in the mills yourselves. You will gain from our victory. Why would you want to crush us? Be human!”

Pale, excited, he sank down into the chair by her side and lit another cigarette.

Pale and excited, he sat down in the chair next to her and lit another cigarette.

“They ought to listen to that!” he exclaimed. “It's the best one I've done yet.”

“They should totally listen to that!” he exclaimed. “It's the best one I've made so far.”

Night had come. Czernowitz sat in the other room, talking to Jastro, a buzz of voices came from the hall through the thin pine panels of the door. All day long a sixty-mile gale had twisted the snow of the lane into whirling, fantastic columns and rattled the windows of Franco-Belgian Hall. But now the wind had fallen.... Presently, as his self-made music ceased to vibrate within him, Rolfe began to watch the girl as she sat motionless, with parted lips and eyes alight, staring at the reflection of the lamp in the blue-black window.

Night had fallen. Czernowitz sat in the other room, chatting with Jastro, while a mix of voices drifted in from the hall through the thin pine door panels. All day, a sixty-mile-an-hour gale had twisted the snow in the lane into swirling, incredible columns and rattled the windows of Franco-Belgian Hall. But now the wind had calmed.... Eventually, as the music he had created faded within him, Rolfe began to watch the girl as she sat still, with her lips parted and eyes shining, staring at the reflection of the lamp in the dark blue window.

“Is that the end?” she asked, at length.

“Is that it?” she asked finally.

“Yes,” he replied sensitively. “Can't you see it's a climax? Don't you think it's a good one?”

“Yes,” he replied with feeling. “Can’t you see it’s a climax? Don’t you think it’s a good one?”

She looked at him, puzzled.

She looked at him, confused.

“Why, yes,” she said, “I think it's fine. You see, I have to take it down so fast I can't always follow it as I'd like to.”

“Yeah,” she said, “I think it's good. You see, I have to take it down so quickly I can't always keep up with it like I want to.”

“When you feel, you can do anything,” he exclaimed. “It is necessary to feel.”

“When you feel, you can do anything,” he said. “It’s essential to feel.”

“It is necessary to know,” she told him.

“It’s important to know,” she told him.

“I do not understand you,” he cried, leaning toward her. “Sometimes you are a flame—a wonderful, scarlet flame I can express it in no other way. Or again, you are like the Madonna of our new faith, and I wish I were a del Sarto to paint you. And then again you seem as cold as your New England snow, you have no feeling, you are an Anglo-Saxon—a Puritan.”

“I don't understand you,” he exclaimed, leaning closer to her. “Sometimes you’re like a flame—a beautiful, scarlet flame that I can't describe any other way. At other times, you remind me of the Madonna of our new faith, and I wish I could be a del Sarto to paint you. And then there are moments when you feel as cold as New England snow, lacking any warmth; you're an Anglo-Saxon—a Puritan.”

She smiled, though she felt a pang of reminiscence at the word. Ditmar had called her so, too.

She smiled, though she felt a twinge of nostalgia at the word. Ditmar had called her that, too.

“I can't help what I am,” she said.

"I can't control who I am," she said.

“It is that which inhibits you,” he declared. “That Puritanism. It must be eradicated before you can develop, and then—and then you will be completely wonderful. When this strike is over, when we have time, I will teach you many things—develop you. We will read Sorel together he is beautiful, like poetry—and the great poets, Dante and Petrarch and Tasso—yes, and d'Annunzio. We shall live.”

“It’s what holds you back,” he said. “That Puritanism. It has to go before you can grow, and then—and then you’ll be absolutely amazing. Once this strike is over, when we have time, I’ll teach you a lot of things—help you develop. We’ll read Sorel together; he’s beautiful, like poetry—and the great poets, Dante, Petrarch, and Tasso—yes, and d'Annunzio. We’ll truly live.”

“We are living, now,” she answered. The look with which she surveyed him he found enigmatic. And then, abruptly, she rose and went to her typewriter.

“We're living right now,” she replied. The way she looked at him felt mysterious to him. Then, suddenly, she got up and went to her typewriter.

“You don't believe what I say!” he reproached her.

“You don’t believe me!” he accused her.

But she was cool. “I'm not sure that I believe all of it. I want to think it out for myself—to talk to others, too.”

But she was chill. “I’m not sure I buy all of it. I want to think it through for myself—to talk to others, too.”

“What others?”

"Which others?"

“Nobody in particular—everybody,” she replied, as she set her notebook on the rack.

“Nobody in particular—everyone,” she replied, as she placed her notebook on the rack.

“There is some one else!” he exclaimed, rising.

“There's someone else!” he exclaimed, standing up.

“There is every one else,” she said.

"There’s everyone else," she said.

As was his habit when agitated, he began to smoke feverishly, glancing at her from time to time as she fingered the keys. Experience had led him to believe that he who finds a woman in revolt and gives her a religion inevitably becomes her possessor. But more than a month had passed, he had not become her possessor—and now for the first time there entered his mind a doubt as to having given her a religion! The obvious inference was that of another man, of another influence in opposition to his own; characteristically, however, he shrank from accepting this, since he was of those who believe what they wish to believe. The sudden fear of losing her—intruding itself immediately upon an ecstatic, creative mood—unnerved him, yet he strove to appear confident as he stood over her.

As was his habit when upset, he started to smoke intensely, glancing at her now and then as she played with the keys. Experience had made him think that if a man finds a woman in rebellion and offers her a belief system, he inevitably claims her. But over a month had gone by, and he still hadn’t claimed her—and for the first time, he began to doubt whether he had truly given her a belief system! The obvious conclusion was that there was another man, another influence opposing his own; however, he typically avoided accepting this, as he was one of those who believe what they want to believe. The sudden fear of losing her—cutting in right after an ecstatic, creative moment—unsettled him, yet he tried to appear confident as he stood over her.

“When you've finished typewriting that, we'll go out to supper,” he told her.

“When you’re done typing that, we’ll go out for dinner,” he said to her.

But she shook her head.

But she waved her head.

“Why not?”

"Why not?"

“I don't want to,” she replied—and then, to soften her refusal, she added, “I can't, to-night.”

“I don’t want to,” she replied—and then, to soften her refusal, she added, “I can’t tonight.”

“But you never will come with me anymore. Why is it?”

“But you won’t come with me anymore. Why is that?”

“I'm very tired at night. I don't feel like going out.” She sought to temporize.

“I'm really tired at night. I don't feel like going out.” She tried to stall.

“You've changed!” he accused her. “You're not the same as you were at first—you avoid me.”

“You've changed!” he accused her. “You’re not the same as you were before—you’re avoiding me.”

The swift gesture with which she flung over the carriage of her machine might have warned him.

The quick motion with which she tossed over the cover of her machine could have given him a clue.

“I don't like that Hampton Hotel,” she flashed back. “I'm—I'm not a vagabond—yet.”

“I don't like that Hampton Hotel,” she shot back. “I'm—I'm not a drifter—yet.”

“A vagabond!” he repeated.

“A drifter!” he repeated.

She went on savagely with her work..

She worked passionately.

“You have two natures,” he exclaimed. “You are still a bourgeoise, a Puritan. You will not be yourself, you will not be free until you get over that.”

“You have two sides to you,” he exclaimed. “You’re still a bourgeois, a Puritan. You won’t be yourself, you won’t be free until you move past that.”

“I'm not sure I want to get over it.”

“I'm not sure I want to move on from it.”

He leaned nearer to her.

He leaned closer to her.

“But now that I have found you, Janet, I will not let you go.”

“But now that I’ve found you, Janet, I won’t let you go.”

“You've no rights over me,” she cried, in sudden alarm and anger. “I'm not doing this work, I'm not wearing myself out here for you.”

“You have no rights over me,” she shouted, suddenly alarmed and angry. “I’m not doing this work, I’m not exhausting myself here for you.”

“Then—why are you doing it?” His suspicions rose again, and made him reckless.

“Then—why are you doing it?” His suspicions flared up again, pushing him to act impulsively.

“To help the strikers,” she said.... He could get no more out of her, and presently, when Anna Mower entered the room, he left it....

“To help the strikers,” she said.... He couldn’t get anything more from her, and soon, when Anna Mower walked into the room, he left....

More than once since her first visit to the soup kitchen in Dey Street Janet had returned to it. The universe rocked, but here was equilibrium. The streets were filled with soldiers, with marching strikers, terrible things were constantly happening; the tension at Headquarters never seemed to relax. Out in the world and within her own soul were strife and suffering, and sometimes fear; the work in which she sought to lose herself no longer sufficed to keep her from thinking, and the spectacle—when she returned home—of her mother's increasing apathy grew more and more appalling. But in Dey Street she gained calmness, was able to renew something of that sense of proportion the lack of which, in the chaos in which she was engulfed, often brought her to the verge of madness. At first she had had a certain hesitation about going back, and on the occasion of her second visit had walked twice around the block before venturing to enter. She had no claim on this man. He was merely a chance acquaintance, a stranger—and yet he seemed nearer to her, to understand her better than any one else she knew in the world. This was queer, because she had not explained herself; nor had he asked her for any confidences. She would have liked to confide in him—some things: he gave her the impression of comprehending life; of having, as his specialty, humanity itself; he should, she reflected, have been a minister, and smiled at the thought: ministers, at any rate, ought to be like him, and then one might embrace Christianity—the religion of her forefathers that Rolfe ridiculed. But there was about Insall nothing of religion as she had grown up to apprehend the term.

More than once since her first visit to the soup kitchen on Dey Street, Janet had returned there. The world felt chaotic, but here she found balance. The streets were crowded with soldiers and marching strikers; terrible things were always happening, and the pressure at Headquarters never seemed to ease. Both in the world around her and within her own heart, there was conflict and pain, sometimes even fear. The work she threw herself into no longer distracted her from her thoughts, and the sight of her mother's growing indifference became increasingly shocking. But at Dey Street, she found a sense of calm, a way to regain some of the balance that the chaos around her often pushed her to the brink of insanity. At first, she hesitated to go back, and during her second visit, she circled the block twice before finally stepping inside. She had no real connection to this man. He was just a chance acquaintance, a stranger—yet he seemed closer to her and understood her better than anyone else in her life. It felt strange because she hadn't shared anything about herself, nor had he asked for any personal stories. She wished she could open up to him about some things; he gave off a vibe of truly understanding life, as if his specialty was humanity itself. She thought he would have made a great minister, and smiled at the idea: ministers should be like him, and then she might actually take to Christianity—the religion of her ancestors that Rolfe mocked. But there was nothing about Insall that resembled the religion she had grown up understanding.

Now that she had taken her courage in her hands and renewed her visits, they seemed to be the most natural proceedings in the world. On that second occasion, when she had opened the door and palpitatingly climbed to the loft, the second batch of children were finishing their midday meal,—rather more joyously, she thought, than before,—and Insall himself was stooping over a small boy whom he had taken away from the table. He did not notice her at once, and Janet watched them. The child had a cough, his extreme thinness was emphasized by the coat he wore, several sizes too large for him.

Now that she had gathered her courage and started visiting again, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. On her second visit, when she opened the door and nervously headed up to the loft, the second group of children were finishing their lunch—seemed a bit happier, she thought, than before—and Insall was bending over a small boy he had taken away from the table. He didn’t notice her right away, so Janet just watched them. The child had a cough, and his extreme thinness was highlighted by the oversized coat he was wearing.

“You come along with me, Marcus, I guess I can fit you out,” Insall was saying, when he looked up and saw Janet.

“You come along with me, Marcus, I think I can get you sorted out,” Insall was saying, when he looked up and saw Janet.

“Why, if it isn't Miss Bumpus! I thought you'd forgotten us.”

“Wow, if it isn't Miss Bumpus! I thought you had forgotten about us.”

“Oh no,” she protested. “I wanted to come.”

“Oh no,” she said. “I really wanted to come.”

“Then why didn't you?”

“Then why didn't you do it?”

“Well, I have come,” she said, with a little sigh, and he did not press her further. And she refrained from offering any conventional excuse, such as that of being interested in the children. She had come to see him, and such was the faith with which he inspired her—now that she was once more in his presence—that she made no attempt to hide the fact.

“Well, I’m here,” she said with a small sigh, and he didn’t push her to explain further. She chose not to give any usual excuse, like saying she was there for the kids. She had come to see him, and the trust he inspired in her—now that she was back in his presence—meant she didn’t try to conceal that fact.

“You've never seen my clothing store, have you?” he asked. And with the child's hand in his he led the way into a room at the rear of the loft. A kit of carpenter's tools was on the floor, and one wall was lined with box-like compartments made of new wood, each with its label in neat lettering indicating the articles contained therein. “Shoes?” he repeated, as he ran his eye down the labels and suddenly opened a drawer. “Here we are, Marcus. Sit down there on the bench, and take off the shoes you have on.”

“You've never checked out my clothing store, have you?” he asked. Holding the child's hand, he led the way into a room at the back of the loft. A set of carpenter's tools was on the floor, and one wall was lined with box-like compartments made of new wood, each labeled clearly with what they contained. “Shoes?” he said again, glancing down the labels before suddenly opening a drawer. “Got it, Marcus. Sit on the bench there and take off the shoes you're wearing.”

The boy had one of those long faces of the higher Jewish type, intelligent, wistful. He seemed dazed by Insall's kindness. The shoes he wore were those of an adult, but cracked and split, revealing the cotton stocking and here and there the skin. His little blue hands fumbled with the knotted strings that served for facings until Insall, producing a pocket knife, deftly cut the strings.

The boy had one of those long faces typical of the higher Jewish type, intelligent and longing. He looked bewildered by Insall's kindness. The shoes he wore were adult-sized, but cracked and torn, exposing his cotton socks and, in places, his skin. His small blue hands struggled with the knotted strings that acted as closures until Insall, pulling out a pocket knife, skillfully cut the strings.

“Those are summer shoes, Marcus—well ventilated.”

“Those are summer shoes, Marcus—good ventilation.”

“They're by me since August,” said the boy.

“They've been with me since August,” said the boy.

“And now the stockings,” prompted Insall. The old ones, wet, discoloured, and torn, were stripped off, and thick, woollen ones substituted. Insall, casting his eye over the open drawer, chose a pair of shoes that had been worn, but which were stout and serviceable, and taking one in his hand knelt down before the child. “Let's see how good a guesser I am,” he said, loosening the strings and turning back the tongue, imitating good-humouredly the deferential manner of a salesman of footwear as he slipped on the shoe. “Why, it fits as if it were made for you! Now for the other one. Yes, your feet are mates—I know a man who wears a whole size larger on his left foot.” The dazed expression remained on the boy's face. The experience was beyond him. “That's better,” said Insall, as he finished the lacing. “Keep out of the snow, Marcus, all you can. Wet feet aren't good for a cough, you know. And when you come in to supper a nice doctor will be here, and we'll see if we can't get rid of the cough.”

“And now the stockings,” Insall said. The old ones, wet, discolored, and torn, were taken off, and thick, woolen ones were put on instead. Insall looked into the open drawer and picked a pair of shoes that had been worn but were sturdy and functional. Kneeling down in front of the child, he held one in his hand. “Let’s see how good my guessing skills are,” he said, loosening the laces and flipping back the tongue, playfully mimicking the friendly manner of a shoe salesman as he slipped on the shoe. “Wow, it fits like it was made for you! Now for the other one. Yep, your feet are a perfect match—I know a guy who wears a whole size larger on his left foot.” The boy looked confused; it was all too much for him. “That’s better,” Insall said, finishing the lacing. “Stay out of the snow as much as you can, Marcus. Wet feet aren’t good for a cough, you know. And when you come in for supper, a nice doctor will be here, and we’ll see if we can get rid of that cough.”

The boy nodded. He got to his feet, stared down at the shoes, and walked slowly toward the door, where he turned.

The boy nodded. He stood up, looked down at the shoes, and walked slowly toward the door, where he turned.

“Thank you, Mister Insall,” he said.

“Thanks, Mr. Insall,” he said.

And Insall, still sitting on his heels, waved his hand.

And Insall, still sitting on his heels, waved his hand.

“It is not to mention it,” he replied. “Perhaps you may have a clothing store of your own some day—who knows!” He looked up at Janet amusedly and then, with a spring, stood upright, his easy, unconscious pose betokening command of soul and body. “I ought to have kept a store,” he observed. “I missed my vocation.”

“It’s nothing to worry about,” he replied. “Maybe you’ll have your own clothing store one day—who knows!” He looked up at Janet with a playful smile, then sprang to his feet, his relaxed posture showing he was in control of himself. “I should have opened a store,” he said. “I missed my calling.”

“It seems to me that you missed a great many vocations,” she replied. Commonplaces alone seemed possible, adequate. “I suppose you made all those drawers yourself.”

“It looks like you overlooked a lot of careers,” she responded. Only basic options appeared feasible, sufficient. “I guess you built all those drawers on your own.”

He bowed in acknowledgment of her implied tribute. With his fine nose and keen eyes—set at a slightly downward angle, creased at the corners—with his thick, greying hair, despite his comparative youth he had the look one associates with portraits of earlier, patriarchal Americans.... These calls of Janet's were never of long duration. She had fallen into the habit of taking her lunch between one and two, and usually arrived when the last installment of youngsters were finishing their meal; sometimes they were filing out, stopping to form a group around Insall, who always managed to say something amusing—something pertinent and good-naturedly personal. For he knew most of them by name, and had acquired a knowledge of certain individual propensities and idiosyncrasies that delighted their companions.

He nodded in recognition of her unspoken compliment. With his prominent nose and sharp eyes—slightly angled down and crinkled at the corners—and his thick, graying hair, he had the look typically associated with portraits of earlier, patriarchal Americans, despite his relatively young age. These visits from Janet were never very long. She had gotten into the routine of taking her lunch between one and two, usually arriving when the last group of kids were wrapping up their meals; sometimes they were leaving, pausing to gather around Insall, who always managed to say something funny—something relevant and good-naturedly personal. He knew most of them by name and had learned about certain individual quirks and habits that amused their friends.

“What's the trouble, Stepan—swallowed your spoon?” Stepan was known to be greedy. Or he would suddenly seize an unusually solemn boy from behind and tickle him until the child screamed with laughter. It was, indeed, something of an achievement to get on terms of confidence with these alien children of the tenements and the streets who from their earliest years had been forced to shift for themselves, and many of whom had acquired a precocious suspicion of Greeks bearing gifts. Insall himself had used the phrase, and explained it to Janet. That sense of caveat donor was perhaps their most pathetic characteristic. But he broke it down; broke down, too, the shyness accompanying it, the shyness and solemnity emphasized in them by contact with hardship and poverty, with the stark side of life they faced at home. He had made them—Mrs. Maturin once illuminatingly remarked—more like children. Sometimes he went to see their parents,—as in the case of Marcus—to suggest certain hygienic precautions in his humorous way; and his accounts of these visits, too, were always humorous. Yet through that humour ran a strain of pathos that clutched—despite her smile—at Janet's heartstrings. This gift of emphasizing and heightening tragedy while apparently dealing in comedy she never ceased to wonder at. She, too, knew that tragedy of the tenements, of the poor, its sordidness and cruelty. All her days she had lived precariously near it, and lately she had visited these people, had been torn by the sight of what they endured. But Insall's jokes, while they stripped it of sentimentality of which she had an instinctive dislike—made it for her even more poignant. One would have thought, to have such an insight into it, that he too must have lived it, must have been brought up in some dirty alley of a street. That gift, of course, must be a writer's gift.

"What's the matter, Stepan—did you swallow your spoon?" Stepan had a reputation for being greedy. Or he would suddenly grab an unusually serious boy from behind and tickle him until the kid burst out laughing. It was quite an achievement to build trust with these kids from the tenements and the streets, who had to fend for themselves from a young age and many of whom had developed a wise skepticism of outsiders bearing gifts. Insall himself had used that phrase and explained it to Janet. That sense of caution was perhaps their most heartbreaking trait. But he managed to break through it; he also managed to break down the shyness that came with it—the shyness and seriousness intensified in them by their experiences with hardship and poverty, and the harsh realities they faced at home. He had made them—Mrs. Maturin once insightfully pointed out—more like children. Sometimes he went to see their parents—like in Marcus's case—to suggest certain hygiene tips in his humorous way, and his stories about these visits were always funny. Yet, even through that humor, there was a hint of sadness that tugged—despite her smile—at Janet's heart. This ability to highlight and amplify tragedy while seemingly joking was something she could never stop marveling at. She also understood the tragedy of the tenements, of the poor, with its harshness and cruelty. Her whole life, she had lived uncomfortably close to it, and recently she had visited these families, feeling torn by what they went through. But Insall's jokes, while removing any sentimentality—something she instinctively rejected—made it even more touching for her. One might assume that, with such insight, he must have lived it, must have grown up in a grimy alley somewhere. That ability, of course, must be a writer's gift.

When she saw the waifs trooping after him down the stairs, Mrs. Maturin called him the Pied Piper of Hampton.

When she saw the kids following him down the stairs, Mrs. Maturin called him the Pied Piper of Hampton.

As time went on, Janet sometimes wondered over the quiet manner in which these two people, Insall and Mrs. Maturin, took her visits as though they were matters of course, and gave her their friendship. There was, really, no obvious excuse for her coming, not even that of the waifs for food—and yet she came to be fed. The sustenance they gave her would have been hard to define; it flowed not so much from what they said, as from what they were; it was in the atmosphere surrounding them. Sometimes she looked at Mrs. Maturin to ask herself what this lady would say if she knew her history, her relationship with Ditmar—which had been her real reason for entering the ranks of the strikers. And was it fair for her, Janet, to permit Mrs. Maturin to bestow her friendship without revealing this? She could not make up her mind as to what this lady would say. Janet had had no difficulty in placing Ditmar; not much trouble, after her first surprise was over, in classifying Rolfe and the itinerant band of syndicalists who had descended upon her restricted world. But Insall and Mrs. Maturin were not to be ticketed. What chiefly surprised her, in addition to their kindliness, to their taking her on faith without the formality of any recommendation or introduction, was their lack of intellectual narrowness. She did not, of course, so express it. But she sensed, in their presence, from references casually let fall in their conversation, a wider culture of which they were in possession, a culture at once puzzling and exciting, one that she despaired of acquiring for herself. Though it came from reading, it did not seem “literary,” according to the notion she had conceived of the term. Her speculations concerning it must be focussed and interpreted. It was a culture, in the first place, not harnessed to an obvious Cause: something like that struck her. It was a culture that contained tolerance and charity, that did not label a portion of mankind as its enemy, but seemed, by understanding all, to forgive all. It had no prejudices; nor did it boast, as the Syndicalists boasted, of its absence of convention. And little by little Janet connected it with Silliston.

As time went on, Janet sometimes wondered about the calm way Insall and Mrs. Maturin accepted her visits as if they were completely normal and offered her their friendship. There really wasn’t any good reason for her to be there, not even to help the needy, and yet she came to get her meals. The support they provided her was hard to define; it came not so much from what they said, but from who they were; it was in the vibe around them. Sometimes she glanced at Mrs. Maturin, questioning what this lady would say if she knew Janet's past, her connection to Ditmar—which was her true motivation for joining the strikers. And was it fair for Janet to let Mrs. Maturin give her friendship without revealing this? She couldn’t decide how this lady would react. Janet had no trouble placing Ditmar; after her initial surprise, she easily categorized Rolfe and the group of traveling syndicalists who had arrived in her limited world. But Insall and Mrs. Maturin didn’t fit into any category. What surprised her most, besides their kindness and their willingness to accept her without any formal introduction, was their lack of intellectual narrowness. She wouldn’t express it that way, but she felt, in their presence, through their casual references in conversation, that they possessed a broader culture that both puzzled and excited her, a culture she felt she could never attain. Although it stemmed from reading, it didn’t seem “literary” in the way she thought of the term. Her thoughts about it needed to be focused and interpreted. It was, first of all, a culture not tied to any obvious Cause: that struck her. It was a culture full of tolerance and kindness, which didn’t label part of humanity as the enemy, but seemed to forgive all by understanding all. It had no biases, nor did it boast, like the Syndicalists did, about being free of convention. Little by little, Janet started to associate it with Silliston.

“It must be wonderful to live in such a place as that,” she exclaimed, when the Academy was mentioned. On this occasion Insall had left for a moment, and she was in the little room he called his “store,” alone with Mrs. Maturin, helping to sort out a batch of garments just received.

“It must be amazing to live in a place like that,” she said when the Academy came up. At that moment, Insall had stepped out briefly, and she was in the small room he referred to as his “store,” alone with Mrs. Maturin, helping to sort through a pile of newly arrived clothes.

“It was there you first met Brooks, wasn't it?” She always spoke of him as Brooks. “He told me about it, how you walked out there and asked him about a place to lunch.” Mrs. Maturin laughed. “You didn't know what to make of him, did you?”

“It was there you first met Brooks, right?” She always called him Brooks. “He told me about it, how you walked out there and asked him where to grab lunch.” Mrs. Maturin laughed. “You didn't know what to think of him, did you?”

“I thought he was a carpenter!” said Janet. “I—I never should have taken him for an author. But of course I don't know any other authors.”

“I thought he was a carpenter!” said Janet. “I—I never should have taken him for an author. But of course, I don’t know any other authors.”

“Well, he's not like any of them, he's just like himself. You can't put a tag on people who are really big.”

“Well, he's not like any of them; he’s just himself. You can’t label people who are truly exceptional.”

Janet considered this. “I never thought of that. I suppose not,” she agreed.

Janet thought about it. “I never saw it that way. I guess not,” she agreed.

Mrs. Maturin glanced at her. “So you liked Sflliston,” she said.

Mrs. Maturin looked at her. “So you liked Sflliston,” she said.

“I liked it better than any place I ever saw. I haven't seen many places, but I'm sure that few can be nicer.”

“I liked it better than anywhere I’ve ever been. I haven’t been to many places, but I’m sure that few can be nicer.”

“What did you like about it, Janet?” Mrs. Maturin was interested.

“What did you like about it, Janet?” Mrs. Maturin was curious.

“It's hard to say,” Janet replied, after a moment. “It gave me such a feeling of peace—of having come home, although I lived in Hampton. I can't express it.”

“It's tough to explain,” Janet replied after a moment. “It gave me this amazing sense of peace—like I had come home, even though I lived in Hampton. I can’t really put it into words.”

“I think you're expressing it rather well,” said Mrs. Maturin.

“I think you’re putting it pretty well,” said Mrs. Maturin.

“It was so beautiful in the spring,” Janet continued, dropping the coat she held into the drawer. “And it wasn't just the trees and the grass with the yellow dandelions, it was the houses, too—I've often wondered why those houses pleased me so much. I wanted to live in every one of them. Do you know that feeling?” Mrs. Maturin nodded. “They didn't hurt your eyes when you looked at them, and they seemed to be so much at home there, even the new ones. The new ones were like the children of the old.”

“It was so beautiful in the spring,” Janet went on, dropping the coat she held into the drawer. “And it wasn’t just the trees and the grass with the yellow dandelions; it was the houses, too—I’ve often wondered why those houses made me so happy. I wanted to live in every single one of them. Do you know that feeling?” Mrs. Maturin nodded. “They didn’t hurt your eyes when you looked at them, and they seemed so much at home there, even the new ones. The new ones felt like the children of the old.”

“I'll tell the architect. He'll be pleased,” said Mrs. Maturin.

“I'll let the architect know. He'll be happy,” said Mrs. Maturin.

Janet flushed.

Janet blushed.

“Am I being silly?” she asked.

“Am I being stupid?” she asked.

“No; my dear,” Mrs. Maturin replied. “You've expressed what I feel about Silliston. What do you intend to do when the strike is over?”

“No; my dear,” Mrs. Maturin replied. “You've said exactly what I feel about Silliston. What do you plan to do when the strike is over?”

“I hadn't thought.” Janet started at the question, but Mrs. Maturin did not seem to notice the dismay in her tone. “You don't intend to—to travel around with the I. W. W. people, do you?”

“I hadn't thought.” Janet was taken aback by the question, but Mrs. Maturin didn’t seem to notice the surprise in her voice. “You don't plan to—to travel with the I.W.W. crowd, do you?”

“I—I hadn't thought,” Janet faltered. It was the first time Mrs. Maturin had spoken of her connection with Syndicalism. And she surprised herself by adding: “I don't see how I could. They can get stenographers anywhere, and that's all I'm good for.” And the question occurred to her—did she really wish to?

“I—I hadn’t thought,” Janet hesitated. It was the first time Mrs. Maturin had mentioned her link to Syndicalism. And she surprised herself by adding: “I don’t see how I could. They can find stenographers anywhere, and that’s all I’m good for.” And the thought crossed her mind—did she really want to?

“What I was going to suggest,” continued Mrs. Maturin, quietly, “was that you might try Silliston. There's a chance for a good stenographer there, and I'm sure you are a good one. So many of the professors send to Boston.”

“What I was going to suggest,” continued Mrs. Maturin, quietly, “was that you might try Silliston. There's a chance for a good stenographer there, and I'm sure you are a good one. So many of the professors send to Boston.”

Janet stood stock still. Then she said: “But you don't know anything about me, Mrs. Maturin.”

Janet stood completely still. Then she said, “But you don't know anything about me, Mrs. Maturin.”

Kindliness burned in the lady's eyes as she replied: “I know more now—since you've told me I know nothing. Of course there's much I don't know, how you, a stenographer, became involved in this strike and joined the I. W. W. But you shall tell me or not, as you wish, when we become better friends.”

Kindness shone in the lady's eyes as she said, “I understand more now—ever since you told me I know nothing. Of course, there’s a lot I don’t know, like how you, a stenographer, got caught up in this strike and joined the I.W.W. But you can tell me or not, as you want, once we get to know each other better.”

Janet felt the blood beating in her throat, and an impulse to confess everything almost mastered her. From the first she had felt drawn toward Mrs. Maturin, who seemed to hold out to her the promise of a woman's friendship—for which she had felt a life-long need: a woman friend who would understand the insatiate yearning in her that gave her no rest in her search for a glittering essence never found, that had led her only to new depths of bitterness and despair. It would destroy her, if indeed it had not already done so. Mrs. Maturin, Insall, seemed to possess the secret that would bring her peace—and yet, in spite of something urging her to speak, she feared the risk of losing them. Perhaps, after all, they would not understand! perhaps it was too late!

Janet felt the pulse pounding in her throat, and the urge to confess everything almost overwhelmed her. From the start, she had been drawn to Mrs. Maturin, who seemed to offer her the promise of a woman's friendship—a need she'd felt for her whole life: a woman friend who would grasp the restless longing within her that never let her find peace in her quest for a dazzling essence she had never located, which had only led her to deeper levels of bitterness and despair. It would ruin her, if it hadn't already. Mrs. Maturin, Insall, seemed to hold the secret to her peace—and yet, despite the urge to speak up, she worried about the risk of losing them. Maybe, after all, they wouldn’t understand! Maybe it was too late!

“You do not believe in the Industrial Workers of the World,” was what she said.

“You don't believe in the Industrial Workers of the World,” she said.

Mrs. Maturin herself, who had been moved and excited as she gazed at Janet, was taken by surprise. A few moments elapsed before she could gather herself to reply, and then she managed to smile.

Mrs. Maturin, who had been moved and excited as she looked at Janet, was caught off guard. It took her a few moments to collect herself before she could respond, and then she managed to smile.

“I do not believe that wisdom will die with them, my dear. Their—their doctrine is too simple, it does not seem as if life, the social order is to be so easily solved.”

“I don’t believe that wisdom will die with them, my dear. Their doctrine is too simple; it doesn’t seem like life or the social order can be solved so easily.”

“But you must sympathize with them, with the strikers.” Janet's gesture implied that the soup kitchen was proof of this.

“But you have to sympathize with them, with the strikers.” Janet's gesture suggested that the soup kitchen was evidence of this.

“Ah,” replied Mrs. Maturin, gently, “that is different to understand them. There is one philosophy for the lamb, and another for the wolf.”

“Ah,” replied Mrs. Maturin gently, “that’s different when you understand them. There’s one philosophy for the lamb and another for the wolf.”

“You mean,” said Janet, trembling, “that what happens to us makes us inclined to believe certain things?”

“You mean,” said Janet, shaking, “that what happens to us makes us prone to believe certain things?”

“Precisely,” agreed Mrs. Maturin, in admiration. “But I must be honest with you, it was Brooks who made me see it.”

“Exactly,” Mrs. Maturin agreed, admiringly. “But I have to be honest with you, it was Brooks who helped me realize it.”

“But—he never said that to me. And I asked him once, almost the same question.”

“But—he never told me that. I asked him once, almost the same question.”

“He never said it to me, either,” Mrs. Maturin confessed. “He doesn't tell you what he believes; I simply gathered that this is his idea. And apparently the workers can only improve their condition by strikes, by suffering—it seems to be the only manner in which they can convince the employers that the conditions are bad. It isn't the employers' fault.”

“He never said it to me either,” Mrs. Maturin admitted. “He doesn’t share what he thinks; I just figured this is his viewpoint. And it seems like the workers can only better their situation through strikes and hardship—it’s the only way they can show the employers that conditions are poor. It’s not the employers’ fault.”

“Not their fault!” Janet repeated.

“Not their fault!” Janet said again.

“Not in a large sense,” said Mrs. Maturin. “When people grow up to look at life in a certain way, from a certain viewpoint, it is difficult, almost impossible to change them. It's—it's their religion. They are convinced that if the world doesn't go on in their way, according to their principles, everything will be destroyed. They aren't inhuman. Within limits everybody is more than willing to help the world along, if only they can be convinced that what they are asked to do will help.”

“Not in a big way,” Mrs. Maturin said. “When people reach adulthood and see life from a certain perspective, it’s hard, almost impossible, to change their views. It’s like their religion. They’re convinced that if the world doesn’t operate according to their principles, everything will fall apart. They’re not heartless. Within reason, everyone is more than willing to contribute to making the world better, as long as they can be persuaded that what they’re being asked to do will actually help.”

Janet breathed deeply. She was thinking of Ditmar.

Janet took a deep breath. She was thinking about Ditmar.

And Mrs. Maturin, regarding her, tactfully changed the subject.

And Mrs. Maturin, seeing her expression, skillfully shifted the topic.

“I didn't intend to give you a lecture on sociology or psychology, my dear,” she said. “I know nothing about them, although we have a professor who does. Think over what I've said about coming to Silliston. It will do you good—you are working too hard here. I know you would enjoy Silliston. And Brooks takes such an interest in you,” she added impulsively. “It is quite a compliment.”

“I didn't mean to lecture you on sociology or psychology, my dear,” she said. “I know nothing about those subjects, although we have a professor who does. Think about what I said regarding coming to Silliston. It will be good for you—you are working too hard here. I know you would enjoy Silliston. And Brooks is really interested in you,” she added impulsively. “That’s a real compliment.”

“But why?” Janet demanded, bewildered.

“But why?” Janet asked, confused.

“Perhaps it's because you have—possibilities. You may be typewriting his manuscripts. And then, I am a widow, and often rather lonely—you could come in and read to me occasionally.”

“Maybe it’s because you have—options. You could be typing up his manuscripts. And then, I’m a widow, and I often feel pretty lonely—you could come by and read to me sometimes.”

“But—I've never read anything.”

“But—I’ve never read anything.”

“How fortunate!” said Insall, who had entered the doorway in time to hear Janet's exclamation. “More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read.”

“How lucky!” said Insall, who had walked in just in time to hear Janet's exclamation. “Over half of today's culture relies on what you shouldn’t read.”

Mrs. Maturin laughed. But Insall waved his hand deprecatingly.

Mrs. Maturin laughed. But Insall waved his hand dismissively.

“That isn't my own,” he confessed. “I cribbed it from a clever Englishman. But I believe it's true.”

“That’s not my own,” he admitted. “I took it from a smart Englishman. But I think it’s true.”

“I think I'll adopt her,” said Mrs. Maturin to Insall, when she had repeated to him the conversation. “I know you are always convicting me of enthusiasms, Brooks, and I suppose I do get enthusiastic.”

“I think I’ll adopt her,” Mrs. Maturin said to Insall after she had repeated their conversation. “I know you always accuse me of being too enthusiastic, Brooks, and I guess I do get carried away sometimes.”

“Well, you adopt her—and I'll marry her,” replied Insall, with a smile, as he cut the string from the last bundle of clothing.

“Well, you adopt her—and I'll marry her,” Insall replied with a smile as he cut the string from the last bundle of clothing.

“You might do worse. It would be a joke if you did—!”

“You could do worse. That would be a joke if you did—!”

His friend paused to consider this preposterous possibility. “One never can tell whom a man like you, an artist, will marry.”

His friend stopped to think about this ridiculous idea. “You never know who a guy like you, an artist, will end up marrying.”

“We've no business to marry at all,” said Insall, laughing. “I often wonder where that romantic streak will land you, Augusta. But you do have a delightful time!”

“We shouldn't even think about getting married,” Insall said with a laugh. “I often wonder where that romantic impulse of yours will take you, Augusta. But you sure do enjoy yourself!”

“Don't begrudge it me, it makes life so much more interesting,” Mrs. Maturin begged, returning his smile. “I haven't the faintest idea that you will marry her or any one else. But I insist on saying she's your type—she's the kind of a person artists do dig up and marry—only better than most of them, far better.”

“Don't hold it against me, it makes life so much more interesting,” Mrs. Maturin pleaded, smiling back at him. “I have no idea if you’ll marry her or anyone else. But I really believe she’s your type—she's the kind of person artists tend to date and marry—only better than most of them, way better.”

“Dig up?” said Insall.

"Dig it up?" said Insall.

“Well, you know I'm not a snob—I only mean that she seems to be one of the surprising anomalies that sometimes occur in—what shall I say?—in the working-classes. I do feel like a snob when I say that. But what is it? Where does that spark come from? Is it in our modern air, that discontent, that desire, that thrusting forth toward a new light—something as yet unformulated, but which we all feel, even at small institutions of learning like Silliston?”

“Well, you know I'm not a snob—I just mean that she seems to be one of those surprising anomalies that sometimes happen in—what should I say?—the working class. I do feel like a snob when I say that. But what is it? Where does that spark come from? Is it in our modern environment, that discontent, that desire, that push for something new—something still unformed, but that we all sense, even at small places of learning like Silliston?”

“Now you're getting beyond me.”

“Now you're losing me.”

“Oh no, I'm not,” Mrs. Maturin retorted confidently. “If you won't talk about it, I will, I have no shame. And this girl has it—this thing I'm trying to express. She's modern to her finger tips, and yet she's extraordinarily American—in spite of her modernity, she embodies in some queer way our tradition. She loves our old houses at Silliston—they make her feel at home—that's her own expression.”

“Oh no, I'm not,” Mrs. Maturin shot back confidently. “If you won’t talk about it, I will, I have no shame. And this girl has it—this thing I'm trying to describe. She’s modern to her fingertips, and yet she’s incredibly American—in spite of her modernity, she somehow embodies our tradition. She loves our old houses in Silliston—they make her feel at home—that’s her own way of saying it.”

“Did she say that?”

"Did she really say that?"

“Exactly. And I know she's of New England ancestry, she told me so. What I can't make out is, why she joined the I.W.W. That seems so contradictory.”

“Exactly. And I know she has New England roots; she mentioned it to me. What I can't figure out is why she joined the I.W.W. That seems so contradictory.”

“Perhaps she was searching for light there,” Insall hazarded. “Why don't you ask her?”

“Maybe she was looking for light there,” Insall suggested. “Why don't you ask her?”

“I don't know,” replied Mrs. Maturin, thoughtfully. “I want to, my curiosity almost burns me alive, and yet I don't. She isn't the kind you can ask personal questions of—that's part of her charm, part of her individuality. One is a little afraid to intrude. And yet she keeps coming here—of course you are a sufficient attraction, Brooks. But I must give her the credit of not flirting with you.”

“I don’t know,” Mrs. Maturin replied, lost in thought. “I want to, my curiosity is almost overwhelming, but I just can’t. She’s not the type you can ask personal questions; that’s part of her appeal, part of what makes her unique. It’s a bit intimidating to intrude. And yet she keeps coming back here—of course you are a big attraction, Brooks. But I have to give her credit for not flirting with you.”

“I've noticed that, too,” said Insall, comically.

“I’ve noticed that, too,” Insall said, humorously.

“She's searching for light,” Mrs. Maturin went on, struck by the phrase. “She has an instinct we can give it to her, because we come from an institution of learning. I felt something of the kind when I suggested her establishing herself in Silliston. Well, she's more than worth while experimenting on, she must have lived and breathed what you call the 'movie atmosphere' all her life, and yet she never seems to have read and absorbed any sentimental literature or cheap religion. She doesn't suggest the tawdry. That part of her, the intellectual part, is a clear page to be written upon.”

“She’s looking for light,” Mrs. Maturin continued, impacted by the phrase. “She has this instinct that we can provide it for her, since we come from a place of education. I felt something similar when I suggested she settle in Silliston. Well, she’s definitely worth experimenting on; she must have lived in what you call the ‘movie atmosphere’ her entire life, yet she never seems to have read or absorbed any sentimental literature or cheap spirituality. She doesn’t give off a tacky vibe. That part of her, the intellectual part, is like a blank page ready to be filled.”

“There's my chance,” said Insall.

“Here’s my opportunity,” said Insall.

“No, it's my chance—since you're so cynical.”

“No, it’s my chance—since you’re so skeptical.”

“I'm not cynical,” he protested.

"I'm not cynical," he said.

“I don't believe you really are. And if you are, there may be a judgment upon you,” she added playfully. “I tell you she's the kind of woman artists go mad about. She has what sentimentalists call temperament, and after all we haven't any better word to express dynamic desires. She'd keep you stirred up, stimulated, and you could educate her.”

“I don’t really think you are. And if you are, there might be some consequences for you,” she said with a playful tone. “I’m telling you, she’s the type of woman that drives artists crazy. She has what sentimentalists like to call temperament, and honestly, we don’t have a better word for intense desires. She would keep you excited and motivated, and you could help her grow.”

“No, thanks, I'll leave that to you. He who educates a woman is lost. But how about Syndicalism and all the mysticism that goes with it? There's an intellectual over at Headquarters who's been talking to her about Bergson, the life-force, and the World-We-Ourselves-Create.”

“No, thanks, I’ll let you handle that. Anyone who educates a woman is doomed. But what about Syndicalism and all the mysticism tied to it? There’s someone at Headquarters who’s been discussing Bergson, the life-force, and the World-We-Ourselves-Create with her.”

Mrs. Maturin laughed.

Mrs. Maturin chuckled.

“Well, we go wrong when we don't go right. That's just it, we must go some way. And I'm sure, from what I gather, that she isn't wholly satisfied with Syndicalism.”

“Sure, we mess up when we don’t choose the right path. That’s the truth; we have to move forward somehow. And based on what I’ve picked up, I can tell she’s not completely happy with Syndicalism.”

“What is right?” demanded Insall.

“What’s right?” demanded Insall.

“Oh, I don't intend to turn her over to Mr. Worrall and make a sociologist and a militant suffragette out of her. She isn't that kind, anyhow. But I could give her good literature to read—yours, for instance,” she added maliciously.

“Oh, I don't plan on handing her over to Mr. Worrall and turning her into a sociologist and a militant suffragette. That's just not who she is. But I could have her read some good literature—like yours, for example,” she added with a smirk.

“You're preposterous, Augusta,” Insall exclaimed.

"You're ridiculous, Augusta," Insall exclaimed.

“I may be, but you've got to indulge me. I've taken this fancy to her—of course I mean to see more of her. But—you know how hard it is for me, sometimes, since I've been left alone.”

“I might be, but you have to humor me. I've developed a fondness for her—of course I plan to spend more time with her. But—you know how tough it can be for me, sometimes, ever since I've been on my own.”

Insall laid his hand affectionately on her shoulder.

Insall gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

“I remember what you said the first day I saw her, that the strike was in her,” Mrs. Maturin continued. “Well, I see now that she does express and typify it—and I don't mean the 'labour movement' alone, or this strike in Rampton, which is symptomatic, but crude. I mean something bigger—and I suppose you do—the protest, the revolt, the struggle for self-realization that is beginning to be felt all over the nation, all over the world today, that is not yet focussed and self-conscious, but groping its way, clothing itself in any philosophy that seems to fit it. I can imagine myself how such a strike as this might appeal to a girl with a sense of rebellion against sordidness and lack of opportunity—especially if she has had a tragic experience. And sometimes I suspect she has had one.”

“I remember what you said the first day I saw her, that the strike was in her,” Mrs. Maturin continued. “Well, I see now that she does express and represent it—and I don't just mean the 'labor movement' or this strike in Rampton, which is a symptom but pretty basic. I mean something bigger—and I guess you do too—the protest, the revolt, the struggle for self-realization that’s starting to be felt all over the nation, all over the world today, that isn’t fully formed or aware yet, but is finding its way, wrapping itself in any philosophy that seems to fit. I can imagine how a strike like this might appeal to a girl with a sense of rebellion against ugliness and lack of opportunity—especially if she’s gone through something tragic. And sometimes I think she has.”

“Well, it's an interesting theory,” Insall admitted indulgently.

“Honestly, it's an interesting theory,” Insall admitted with a hint of indulgence.

“I'm merely amplifying your suggestions, only you won't admit that they are yours. And she was your protegee.” “And you are going to take her off my hands.” “I'm not so sure,” said Mrs. Maturin.

“I'm just expanding on your ideas; you just won't acknowledge that they're yours. And she was your student.” “And you’re going to take her off my hands.” “I'm not so sure,” said Mrs. Maturin.





CHAPTER XIX

The Hampton strike had reached the state of grim deadlock characteristic of all stubborn wars. There were aggressions, retaliations on both sides, the antagonism grew more intense. The older labour unions were accused by the strikers of playing the employers' game, and thus grew to be hated even more than the “capitalists.” These organizations of the skilled had entered but half-heartedly into a struggle that now began to threaten, indeed, their very existence, and when it was charged that the Textile Workers had been attempting to secure recruits from the ranks of the strikers, and had secretly offered the millowners a scale of demands in the hope that a sufficient number of operatives would return to work, and so break the strike; a serious riot was barely averted. “Scab-hunting agencies,” the unions were called. One morning when it was learned that the loom-fixers, almost to a man, had gone back to the mills, a streetcar was stopped near the power house at the end of Faber Street, and in a twinkling, before the militia or police could interfere, motorman, conductor, and passengers were dragged from it and the trolley pole removed. This and a number of similar aggressive acts aroused the mill-owners and their agents to appeal with renewed vigour to the public through the newspapers, which it was claimed they owned or subsidized. Then followed a series of arraignments of the strike leaders calculated to stir the wildest prejudices and fears of the citizens of Hampton. Antonelli and Jastro—so rumour had it—in various nightly speeches had advised their followers to “sleep in the daytime and prowl like wild animals at night”; urged the power house employees to desert and leave the city in darkness; made the declaration, “We will win if we raise scaffolds on every street!” insisted that the strikers, too, should have “gun permits,” since the police hirelings carried arms. And the fact that the mill-owners replied with pamphlets whose object was proclaimed to be one of discrediting their leaders in the eyes of the public still further infuriated the strikers. Such charges, of course, had to be vehemently refuted, the motives behind them made clear, and counter-accusations laid at the door of the mill-owners.

The Hampton strike had reached a serious deadlock typical of all stubborn conflicts. Both sides were aggressive and retaliatory, and tensions escalated. The strikers accused the older labor unions of siding with the employers, making them even more despised than the “capitalists.” These skilled worker organizations had only half-heartedly participated in a struggle that now threatened their very existence. When the Textile Workers were accused of trying to recruit strikers and secretly offering mill owners a list of demands in hopes that enough workers would return to work and break the strike, a serious riot was narrowly avoided. The unions were dubbed “scab-hunting agencies.” One morning, when it was discovered that almost all the loom-fixers had returned to the mills, a streetcar was stopped near the power house at the end of Faber Street. In no time, before the militia or police could intervene, the motorman, conductor, and passengers were pulled from the streetcar, and the trolley pole was removed. This and several similar aggressive acts prompted the mill owners and their agents to appeal more strongly to the public through the newspapers, which they claimed to own or support financially. They then began a series of attacks on the strike leaders aimed at stirring the deepest prejudices and fears of the Hampton citizens. Antonelli and Jastro—so the rumor went—had in various nighttime speeches advised their followers to “sleep during the day and roam like wild animals at night”; urged power house workers to abandon the city and leave it in darkness; declared, “We will win if we build barricades on every street!”; and insisted that strikers should also have “gun permits,” since the police were armed. The fact that the mill owners responded with pamphlets aimed at discrediting their leaders in the public eye only further enraged the strikers. These accusations had to be strongly denied, the motives behind them clarified, and counter-accusations directed at the mill owners.

The atmosphere at Headquarters daily grew more tense. At any moment the spark might be supplied to precipitate an explosion that would shake the earth. The hungry, made more desperate by their own sufferings or the spectacle of starving families, were increasingly difficult to control: many wished to return to work, others clamoured for violence, nor were these wholly discouraged by a portion of the leaders. A riot seemed imminent—a riot Antonelli feared and firmly opposed, since it would alienate the sympathy of that wider public in the country on which the success of the strike depended. Watchful, yet apparently unconcerned, unmoved by the quarrels, the fierce demands for “action,” he sat on the little stage, smoking his cigars and reading his newspapers.

The atmosphere at Headquarters grew more tense every day. At any moment, something could spark an explosion that would shake the earth. The desperate hungry, driven by their own suffering or the sight of starving families, were becoming harder to control. Many wanted to return to work, while others called for violence, and some of the leaders didn’t entirely discourage this. A riot seemed inevitable—a situation Antonelli feared and strongly opposed, as it would drive away the sympathy of the broader public whose support was crucial for the strike's success. He remained watchful, yet seemingly unconcerned, unaffected by the bickering and fierce demands for "action," sitting on the little stage, smoking his cigars and reading his newspapers.

Janet's nerves were taut. There had been times during the past weeks when she had been aware of new and vaguely disquieting portents. Inexperience had led her to belittle them, and the absorbing nature of her work, the excitement due to the strange life of conflict, of new ideas, into which she had so unreservedly flung herself, the resentment that galvanized her—all these had diverted her from worry. At night, hers had been the oblivious slumber of the weary.... And then, as a desperate wayfarer, pressing on, feels a heavy drop of rain and glances up to perceive the clouds that have long been gathering, she awoke in the black morning hours, and fear descended upon her. Suddenly her brain became hideously active as she lay, dry-upped, staring into the darkness, striving to convince herself that it could not be. But the thing had its advocate, also, to summon ingeniously, in cumulative array, those omens she had ignored: to cause her to piece together, in this moment of torture, portions of the knowledge of sexual facts that prudery banishes from education, a smattering of which reaches the ears of such young women as Janet in devious, roundabout ways. Several times, in the month just past, she had had unwonted attacks of dizziness, of faintness, and on one occasion Anna Mower, alarmed, had opened the window of the bibliotheque and thrust her into the cold air. Now, with a pang of fear she recalled what Anna had said:—“You're working too hard—you hadn't ought to stay here nights. If it was some girls I've met, I'd know what to think.”

Janet's nerves were on edge. Over the past few weeks, she had noticed new and unsettling signs. Her inexperience had caused her to brush them off, and the engaging nature of her work, the thrill of being involved in intense conflict and fresh ideas that she had thrown herself into wholeheartedly, along with the frustration that energized her—all of these distractions kept her from worrying. At night, she’d experienced the deep sleep of someone who’s exhausted... Then, just like a weary traveler who feels a heavy drop of rain and looks up to see the clouds gathering, she woke up in the dark early hours, and fear washed over her. Suddenly, her mind became painfully active as she lay there, parched, staring into the darkness, trying to convince herself that it couldn't be true. But there was also a voice in her mind that cleverly brought forth the signs she had dismissed: making her piece together, in this moment of agony, bits of knowledge about sexual matters that society often keeps from education, some of which had reached her ears in indirect and sneaky ways. Several times in the past month, she had experienced strange episodes of dizziness and faintness, and once, Anna Mower, worried, had opened the window of the library and pushed her into the chilly air. Now, with a jolt of fear, she remembered what Anna had said: “You’re working too hard—you shouldn’t be here at night. If it were some girls I’ve met, I’d know what to think.”

Strange that the significance of this sentence had failed to penetrate her consciousness until now! “If it was some girls I've met, I'd know what to think!” It had come into her mind abruptly; and always, when she sought to reassure herself, to declare her terror absurd, it returned to confront her. Heat waves pulsed through her, she grew intolerably warm, perspiration started from her pores, and she flung off the blankets. The rain from the roofs was splashing on the bricks of the passage.... What would Mr. Insall say, if he knew? and Mrs. Maturin? She could never see them again. Now there was no one to whom to turn, she was cut off, utterly, from humanity, an outcast. Like Lise! And only a little while ago she and Lise had lain in that bed together! Was there not somebody—God? Other people believed in God, prayed to him. She tried to say, “Oh God, deliver me from this thing!” but the words seemed a mockery. After all, it was mechanical, it had either happened or it hadn't happened. A life-long experience in an environment where only unpleasant things occurred, where miracles were unknown, had effaced a fleeting, childhood belief in miracles. Cause and effect were the rule. And if there were a God who did interfere, why hadn't he interfered before this thing happened? Then would have been the logical time. Why hadn't he informed her that in attempting to escape from the treadmill in which he had placed her, in seeking happiness, she had been courting destruction? Why had he destroyed Lise? And if there were a God, would he comfort her now, convey to her some message of his sympathy and love? No such message, alas, seemed to come to her through the darkness.

Strange that the meaning of this sentence hadn’t hit her until now! “If it were some girls I’ve met, I’d know what to think!” It popped into her head suddenly; and every time she tried to reassure herself, to convince herself that her fear was silly, it came back to haunt her. Heat waves surged through her, making her feel uncomfortably warm, sweat forming on her skin, and she tossed off the blankets. The rain dripped from the roofs onto the bricks in the hallway.... What would Mr. Insall say if he knew? And Mrs. Maturin? She could never face them again. Now, there was no one to rely on; she felt completely cut off from humanity, like an outcast. Just like Lise! Only a little while ago, she and Lise had been lying in that bed together! Was there anyone—God? Other people believed in God and prayed to him. She tried to say, “Oh God, save me from this!” but the words felt empty. After all, it was all just mechanical; it either happened or it didn’t. A lifetime of experiences in a world where only bad things happened, where miracles were unheard of, had erased her childhood belief in miracles. Cause and effect were the truth. And if there was a God who intervened, why hadn’t he stepped in before this all happened? That would have been the right moment. Why hadn’t he warned her that in trying to escape the life he had put her in, in searching for happiness, she had been inviting disaster? Why had he let Lise die? And if there was a God, would he comfort her now, send her some sign of his understanding and love? No such comfort, unfortunately, seemed to reach her through the darkness.

After a while—a seemingly interminable while—the siren shrieked, the bells jangled loudly in the wet air, another day had come. Could she face it—even the murky grey light of this that revealed the ashes and litter of the back yard under the downpour? The act of dressing brought a slight relief; and then, at breakfast, a numbness stole over her—suggested and conveyed, perchance, by the apathy of her mother. Something had killed suffering in Hannah; perhaps she herself would mercifully lose the power to suffer! But the thought made her shudder. She could not, like her mother, find a silly refuge in shining dishes, in cleaning pots and pans, or sit idle, vacant-minded, for long hours in a spotless kitchen. What would happen to her?... Howbeit, the ache that had tortured her became a dull, leaden pain, like that she had known at another time—how long ago—when the suffering caused by Ditmar's deception had dulled, when she had sat in the train on her way back to Hampton from Boston, after seeing Lise. The pain would throb again, unsupportably, and she would wake, and this time it would drive her—she knew not where.

After a while—a seemingly never-ending while—the siren screamed, the bells rang loudly in the damp air, another day had arrived. Could she handle it—even the murky grey light that revealed the ashes and trash in the backyard under the downpour? Getting dressed provided a slight relief; and then, at breakfast, a numbness washed over her—perhaps suggested by her mother’s indifference. Something had killed suffering in Hannah; maybe she would mercifully lose the ability to feel pain! But the thought made her shudder. She couldn’t, like her mother, find a silly escape in shiny dishes, in scrubbing pots and pans, or sit mindlessly for long hours in a spotless kitchen. What would happen to her?... Nevertheless, the ache that had tormented her turned into a dull, heavy pain, like the one she had felt at another time—how long ago—when the hurt caused by Ditmar’s betrayal had faded, when she had sat on the train heading back to Hampton from Boston, after seeing Lise. The pain would throb again, unbearably, and she would wake, and this time it would drive her—she knew not where.

She was certain, now, that the presage of the night was true....

She was sure now that the omen of the night was real....

She reached Franco-Belgian Hall to find it in an uproar. Anna Mower ran up to her with the news that dynamite had been discovered by the police in certain tenements of the Syrian quarter, that the tenants had been arrested and taken to the police station where, bewildered and terrified, they had denied any knowledge of the explosive. Dynamite had also been found under the power house, and in the mills—the sources of Hampton's prosperity. And Hampton believed, of course, that this was the inevitable result of the anarchistic preaching of such enemies of society as Jastro and Antonelli if these, indeed, had not incited the Syrians to the deed. But it was a plot of the mill-owners, Anna insisted—they themselves had planted the explosive, adroitly started the rumours, told the police where the dynamite was to be found. Such was the view that prevailed at Headquarters, pervaded the angrily buzzing crowd that stood outside—heedless of the rain—and animated the stormy conferences in the Salle de Reunion.

She got to Franco-Belgian Hall to find it in chaos. Anna Mower ran up to her with the news that the police had found dynamite in some apartments in the Syrian neighborhood. The tenants had been arrested and taken to the police station, where they were confused and scared and claimed they didn’t know anything about the explosives. Dynamite was also discovered under the power plant and in the mills—the sources of Hampton's wealth. Hampton believed this was the direct result of the anarchistic speeches of people like Jastro and Antonelli, if they hadn’t actually urged the Syrians to do it. But Anna insisted it was a scheme by the mill owners; they had planted the explosives themselves, cleverly spread rumors, and tipped off the police about where to find the dynamite. This perspective dominated Headquarters and fueled the angrily buzzing crowd outside—unconcerned about the rain—and ignited the heated discussions in the Salle de Reunion.

The day wore on. In the middle of the afternoon, as she was staring out of the window, Anna Mower returned with more news. Dynamite had been discovered in Hawthorne Street, and it was rumoured that Antonelli and Jastro were to be arrested.

The day went on. In the middle of the afternoon, while she was looking out the window, Anna Mower came back with more news. Dynamite had been found on Hawthorne Street, and it was rumored that Antonelli and Jastro were going to be arrested.

“You ought to go home and rest, Janet,” she said kindly.

“You should go home and rest, Janet,” she said kindly.

Janet shook her head.

Janet shook her head.

“Rolfe's back,” Anna informed her, after a moment. “He's talking to Antonelli about another proclamation to let people know who's to blame for this dynamite business. I guess he'll be in here in a minute to dictate the draft. Say, hadn't you better let Minnie take it, and go home?”

“Rolfe's back,” Anna told her after a moment. “He's talking to Antonelli about another announcement to let people know who's responsible for this dynamite situation. I guess he'll be in here soon to dictate the draft. Hey, shouldn't you let Minnie take it and go home?”

“I'm not sick,” Janet repeated, and Anna reluctantly left her.

“I'm not sick,” Janet repeated, and Anna hesitantly left her.

Rolfe had been absent for a week, in New York, consulting with some of the I.W.W. leaders; with Lockhart, the chief protagonist of Syndicalism in America, just returned from Colorado, to whom he had given a detailed account of the Hampton strike. And Lockhart, next week, was coming to Hampton to make a great speech and look over the ground for himself. All this Rolfe told Janet eagerly when he entered the bibliotheque. He was glad to get back; he had missed her.

Rolfe had been away for a week in New York, meeting with some of the I.W.W. leaders, including Lockhart, the main advocate for Syndicalism in America, who had just returned from Colorado. Rolfe had given Lockhart a detailed summary of the Hampton strike. And Lockhart was coming to Hampton next week to give a big speech and check things out himself. Rolfe eagerly shared all this with Janet when he walked into the library. He was happy to be back; he had missed her.

“But you are pale!” he exclaimed, as he seized her hand, “and how your eyes burn! You do not take care of yourself when I am not here to watch you.” His air of solicitude, his assumption of a peculiar right to ask, might formerly have troubled and offended her. Now she was scarcely aware of his presence. “You feel too much—that is it you are like a torch that consumes itself in burning. But this will soon be over, we shall have them on their knees, the capitalists, before very long, when it is known what they have done to-day. It is too much—they have overreached themselves with this plot of the dynamite.”

“But you look so pale!” he said, grabbing her hand. “And your eyes are blazing! You don’t take care of yourself when I’m not around to keep an eye on you.” His concern and the way he felt entitled to ask might have upset her before. Now, she barely noticed he was there. “You feel too much—that’s the problem. You’re like a torch that burns itself out. But this won’t last long; we’ll have those capitalists on their knees soon enough when people find out what they did today. It’s too much—they've gone too far with this dynamite scheme.”

“You have missed me, a little?”

“Did you miss me a little?”

“I have been busy,” she said, releasing her hand and sitting down at her desk and taking up her notebook.

“I’ve been busy,” she said, letting go of his hand, sitting down at her desk, and picking up her notebook.

“You are not well,” he insisted.

“You're not feeling well,” he insisted.

“I'm all right,” she replied.

"I'm good," she replied.

He lit a cigarette and began to pace the room—his customary manner of preparing himself for the creative mood. After a while he began to dictate—but haltingly. He had come here from Antonelli all primed with fervour and indignation, but it was evident that this feeling had ebbed, that his mind refused to concentrate on what he was saying. Despite the magnificent opportunity to flay the capitalists which their most recent tactics afforded him, he paused, repeated himself, and began again, glancing from time to time reproachfully, almost resentfully at Janet. Usually, on these occasions, he was transported, almost inebriated by his own eloquence; but now he chafed at her listlessness, he was at a loss to account for the withdrawal of the enthusiasm he had formerly been able to arouse. Lacking the feminine stimulus, his genius limped. For Rolfe there had been a woman in every strike—sometimes two. What had happened, during his absence, to alienate the most promising of all neophytes he had ever encountered?

He lit a cigarette and started pacing the room—his usual way of getting into the creative zone. After a while, he began to dictate—but it was uneven. He had come here from Antonelli all fired up with passion and anger, but it was clear that those feelings had faded, and his mind struggled to focus on what he was saying. Even with the great chance to criticize the capitalists provided by their latest tactics, he hesitated, repeated himself, and started over, casting reproachful, almost resentful glances at Janet. Normally, in these moments, he was carried away, almost drunk on his own eloquence; but now he was frustrated by her lack of energy, and he couldn’t understand why the excitement he used to inspire had vanished. Without the feminine spark, his creativity faltered. For Rolfe, there had always been a woman in every strike—sometimes two. What had happened during his absence to drive away the most promising newcomer he had ever met?

“The eyes of the world are fixed on the workers of Hampton! They must be true to the trust their fellows have placed in them! To-day the mill-owners, the masters, are at the end of their tether. Always unscrupulous, they have descended to the most despicable of tactics in order to deceive the public. But truth will prevail!...” Rolfe lit another cigarette, began a new sentence and broke it off. Suddenly he stood over her. “It's you!” he said. “You don't feel it, you don't help me, you're not in sympathy.”

“The eyes of the world are on the workers of Hampton! They have to be faithful to the trust their peers have placed in them! Today, the mill owners, the bosses, are at their breaking point. Always ruthless, they’ve resorted to the most shameful tactics to mislead the public. But the truth will win out!...” Rolfe lit another cigarette, started a new sentence, and then stopped. Suddenly he stood over her. “It's you!” he said. “You don’t feel it, you’re not helping me, you’re not in sync.”

He bent over her, his red lips gleaming through his beard, a terrible hunger in his lustrous eyes—the eyes of a soul to which self-denial was unknown. His voice was thick with uncontrolled passion, his hand was cold.

He leaned over her, his red lips glowing through his beard, a fierce hunger in his shining eyes—the eyes of someone who didn't know self-denial. His voice was heavy with raw desire, and his hand felt cold.

“Janet, what has happened? I love you, you must love me—I cannot believe that you do not. Come with me. We shall work together for the workers—it is all nothing without you.”

“Janet, what’s going on? I love you, you must love me—I can't believe you don't. Come with me. We’ll work together for the workers—it’s all meaningless without you.”

For a moment she sat still, and then a pain shot through her, a pain as sharp as a dagger thrust. She drew her hand away.

For a moment, she sat still, and then a pain shot through her, a pain as sharp as a dagger stab. She pulled her hand away.

“I can't love—I can only hate,” she said.

“I can't love—I can only hate,” she said.

“But you do not hate me!” Rolfe repudiated so gross a fact. His voice caught as in a sob. “I, who love you, who have taught you!”

“But you don’t hate me!” Rolfe rejected such a harsh idea. His voice broke like he was about to cry. “I, who love you, who have taught you!”

She dismissed this—what he had taught her—with a gesture which, though slight, was all-expressive. He drew back from her.

She brushed aside what he had taught her with a gesture that, although small, said everything. He pulled away from her.

“Shall I tell you who has planned and carried out this plot?” he cried. “It is Ditmar. He is the one, and he used Janes, the livery stable keeper, the politician who brought the dynamite to Hampton, as his tool. Half an hour before Janes got to the station in Boston he was seen by a friend of ours talking to Ditmar in front of the Chippering offices, and Janes had the satchel with him then. Ditmar walked to the corner with him.”

“Do you want me to tell you who came up with and executed this plan?” he exclaimed. “It's Ditmar. He’s the one, and he used Janes, the livery stable owner, the politician who brought the dynamite to Hampton, as his pawn. Half an hour before Janes arrived at the station in Boston, a friend of ours saw him talking to Ditmar outside the Chippering offices, and Janes had the bag with him at that time. Ditmar walked to the corner with him.”

Janet, too, had risen.

Janet had also gotten up.

“I don't believe it,” she said.

“I can't believe it,” she said.

“Ah, I thought you wouldn't! But we have the proof that dynamite was in the satchel, we've found the contractor from whom it was bought. I was a fool—I might have known that you loved Ditmar.”

“Ah, I didn't think you would! But we have the evidence that dynamite was in the bag, and we've tracked down the contractor who sold it. I was such a fool—I should have known that you loved Ditmar.”

“I hate him!” said Janet.

“I can't stand him!” said Janet.

“It is the same thing,” said Rolfe.

“It’s the same thing,” said Rolfe.

She did not answer.... He watched her in silence as she put on her hat and coat and left the room.

She didn't reply.... He watched her quietly as she put on her hat and coat and walked out of the room.

The early dusk was gathering when she left the hall and made her way toward the city. The huge bottle-shaped chimneys of the power plant injected heavy black smoke into the wet air. In Faber Street the once brilliant signs above the “ten-foot” buildings seemed dulled, the telegraph poles starker, nakeder than ever, their wires scarcely discernible against the smeared sky. The pedestrians were sombrely garbed, and went about in “rubbers”—the most depressing of all articles worn by man. Sodden piles of snow still hid the curb and gutters, but the pavements were trailed with mud that gleamed in the light from the shop windows. And Janet, lingering unconsciously in front of that very emporium where Lisehad been incarcerated, the Bagatelle, stared at the finery displayed there, at the blue tulle dress that might be purchased, she read, for $22.99. She found herself repeating, in meaningless, subdued tones, the words, “twenty-two ninety-nine.” She even tried—just to see if it were possible—to concentrate her mind on that dress, on the fur muffs and tippets in the next window; to act as if this were just an ordinary, sad February afternoon, and she herself once more just an ordinary stenographer leading a monotonous, uneventful existence. But she knew that this was not true, because, later on, she was going to do something—to commit some act. She didn't know what this act would be. Her head was hot, her temples throbbed....

The early evening was settling in when she left the hall and headed toward the city. The massive bottle-shaped chimneys of the power plant belched thick black smoke into the damp air. On Faber Street, the once-vibrant signs above the “ten-foot” buildings seemed faded, the telegraph poles more stark and bare than ever, their wires barely visible against the darkened sky. The pedestrians wore somber clothing and walked in “rubbers”—the most depressing footwear known to man. Wet piles of snow still covered the curbs and gutters, but the sidewalks were splattered with mud that shone in the light from the shop windows. And Janet, lingering unconsciously in front of the very store where Lise had been locked up, the Bagatelle, stared at the fancy items on display, particularly the blue tulle dress that she read was priced at $22.99. She found herself repeating, in a quiet, listless tone, the words, “twenty-two ninety-nine.” She even tried—just to see if it was possible—to focus her mind on that dress, on the fur muffs and tippets in the next window; to pretend this was just an ordinary, dreary February afternoon, and that she was once again just a regular stenographer leading a dull, uneventful life. But she knew that wasn’t true, because later on, she was going to do something—to commit some act. She didn’t know what this act would be. Her head was hot, her temples were throbbing....

Night had fallen, the electric arcs burned blue overhead, she was in another street—was it Stanley? Sounds of music reached her, the rumble of marching feet; dark, massed figures were in the distance swimming toward her along the glistening line of the car tracks, and she heard the shrill whistling of the doffer boys, who acted as a sort of fife corps in these parades—which by this time had become familiar to the citizens of Hampton. And Janet remembered when the little red book that contained the songs had arrived at Headquarters from the west and had been distributed by thousands among the strikers. She recalled the words of this song, though the procession was as yet too far away for her to distinguish them:—

Night had fallen, the electric lights glowed blue overhead, she was in another street—was it Stanley? Sounds of music reached her, the thud of marching feet; dark, grouped figures were in the distance moving toward her along the shiny line of the train tracks, and she heard the sharp whistling of the doffer boys, who acted like a kind of fife corps in these parades—which by now had become familiar to the people of Hampton. And Janet remembered when the little red book that held the songs had arrived at Headquarters from the west and had been handed out by the thousands among the strikers. She recalled the lyrics of this song, even though the procession was still too far away for her to make them out:—

       “The People's flag is deepest red,
        It shrouded oft our martyred dead,
        And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold,
        Their life-blood dyed its every fold.”
 
       “The people's flag is a deep red,
        It often covered our fallen heroes,
        And before their limbs became stiff and cold,
        Their life-blood soaked every inch of it.”

The song ceased, and she stood still, waiting for the procession to reach her. A group of heavy Belgian women were marching together. Suddenly, as by a simultaneous impulse, their voices rang out in the Internationale—the terrible Marseillaise of the workers:—

The song stopped, and she stood still, waiting for the procession to reach her. A group of stout Belgian women marched together. Suddenly, as if by a shared impulse, their voices erupted in the Internationale—the powerful anthem of the workers:—

       “Arise, ye prisoners of starvation!
        Arise, ye wretched of the earth!”
 
       “Get up, you prisoners of hunger!
        Get up, you miserable people of the earth!”

And the refrain was taken up by hundreds of throats:—

And hundreds of voices joined in the refrain:—

       “'Tis the final conflict,
        Let each stand in his place!”
 
       “It's the final showdown,  
        Let everyone take their stance!”

The walls of the street flung it back. On the sidewalk, pressed against the houses, men and women heard it with white faces. But Janet was carried on.... The scene changed, now she was gazing at a mass of human beings hemmed in by a line of soldiers. Behind the crowd was a row of old-fashioned brick houses, on the walls of which were patterned, by the cold electric light, the branches of the bare elms ranged along the sidewalk. People leaned out of the windows, like theatregoers at a play. The light illuminated the red and white bars of the ensign, upheld by the standard bearer of the regiment, the smaller flags flaunted by the strikers—each side clinging hardily to the emblem of human liberty. The light fell, too, harshly and brilliantly, on the workers in the front rank confronting the bayonets, and these seemed strangely indifferent, as though waiting for the flash of a photograph. A little farther on a group of boys, hands in pockets, stared at the soldiers with bravado. From the rear came that indescribable “booing” which those who have heard never forget, mingled with curses and cries:—“Vive la greve!”

The walls of the street echoed it back. On the sidewalk, pressed against the houses, men and women stood with pale faces. But Janet was moved along.... The scene shifted; now she was looking at a crowd of people surrounded by a line of soldiers. Behind them was a row of old brick houses, with the bare branches of the elms along the sidewalk outlined by the cold electric light. People leaned out of the windows like audience members at a show. The light highlighted the red and white stripes of the flag held high by the regiment’s standard bearer, while the smaller flags waved in the hands of the strikers—each side fiercely holding onto their symbol of freedom. The light also shone harshly and brightly on the workers in the front line facing the bayonets, who appeared oddly indifferent, as if waiting for the flash of a camera. A bit further ahead, a group of boys, hands in their pockets, stared at the soldiers defiantly. From behind came that unforgettable sound of “booing” that sticks with anyone who has heard it, mixed with shouts and cries:—“Vive la greve!”

“To hell with the Cossacks!”

“Screw the Cossacks!”

“Kahm on—shoot!”

“Come on—shoot!”

The backs of the soldiers, determined, unyielding, were covered with heavy brown capes that fell below the waist. As Janet's glance wandered down the line it was arrested by the face of a man in a visored woollen cap—a face that was almost sepia, in which large white eyeballs struck a note of hatred. And what she seemed to see in it, confronting her, were the hatred and despair of her own soul! The man might have been a Hungarian or a Pole; the breadth of his chin was accentuated by a wide, black moustache, his attitude was tense,—that of a maddened beast ready to spring at the soldier in front of him. He was plainly one of those who had reached the mental limit of endurance.

The soldiers' backs, resolute and unyielding, were draped in heavy brown capes that fell below their waists. As Janet's gaze drifted down the line, it was caught by the face of a man in a woolen cap with a visor—a face almost sepia-toned, with large white eyeballs radiating a sense of hatred. What she seemed to see reflected in him were the hatred and despair within her own soul! He could have been Hungarian or Polish; the width of his chin was emphasized by a thick black mustache, and his posture was tense—like a wild animal ready to pounce on the soldier in front of him. He clearly appeared to be one of those who had hit the limit of his mental endurance.

In contrast with this foreigner, confronting him, a young lieutenant stood motionless, his head cocked on one side, his hand grasping the club held a little behind him, his glance meeting the other's squarely, but with a different quality of defiance. All his faculties were on the alert. He wore no overcoat, and the uniform fitting close to his figure, the broad-brimmed campaign hat of felt served to bring into relief the physical characteristics of the American Anglo-Saxon, of the individualist who became the fighting pioneer. But Janet, save to register the presence of the intense antagonism between the two, scarcely noticed her fellow countryman.... Every moment she expected to see the black man spring,—and yet movement would have marred the drama of that consuming hatred....

In contrast to this foreigner, a young lieutenant stood still, his head tilted to one side, gripping a club slightly behind him, gazing directly at the other man with a different kind of defiance. He was fully alert. He didn’t wear an overcoat, and his uniform hugged his body, while his broad-brimmed felt campaign hat highlighted the physical traits of the American Anglo-Saxon, the individualist who became the fighting pioneer. But Janet, only noting the intense animosity between the two, barely paid attention to her fellow countryman.... Every moment she expected the black man to leap forward—but any movement would have ruined the drama of that consuming hatred....

Then, by one of those bewildering, kaleidoscopic shifts to which crowds are subject, the scene changed, more troops arrived, little by little the people were dispersed to drift together again by chance—in smaller numbers—several blocks away. Perhaps a hundred and fifty were scattered over the space formed by the intersection of two streets, where three or four special policemen with night sticks urged them on. Not a riot, or anything approaching it. The police were jeered, but the groups, apparently, had already begun to scatter, when from the triangular vestibule of a saloon on the corner darted a flame followed by an echoing report, a woman bundled up in a shawl screamed and sank on the snow. For an instant the little French-Canadian policeman whom the shot had missed gazed stupidly down at her....

Then, in one of those confusing, sudden changes that crowds often go through, the scene shifted. More troops showed up, and little by little, people started to disperse only to gather again by chance—in smaller groups—several blocks away. Maybe about a hundred and fifty people were spread out at the intersection of two streets, where three or four special policemen with nightsticks tried to keep them moving. It wasn't a riot or anything close. The police were mocked, but the crowds seemed to be breaking apart when, from the triangular entrance of a bar on the corner, a flame shot out followed by a loud bang. A woman wrapped in a shawl screamed and collapsed in the snow. For a brief moment, the small French-Canadian policeman, who had just narrowly missed being hit by the shot, stared down at her in shock....

As Janet ran along the dark pavements the sound of the shot and of the woman's shriek continued to ring in her ears. At last she stopped in front of the warehouse beyond Mr. Tiernan's shop, staring at the darkened windows of the flat—of the front room in which her mother now slept alone. For a minute she stood looking at these windows, as though hypnotized by some message they conveyed—the answer to a question suggested by the incident that had aroused and terrified her. They drew her, as in a trance, across the street, she opened the glass-panelled door, remembering mechanically the trick it had of not quite closing, turned and pushed it to and climbed the stairs. In the diningroom the metal lamp, brightly polished, was burning as usual, its light falling on the chequered red table-cloth, on her father's empty chair, on that somewhat battered heirloom, the horsehair sofa. All was so familiar, and yet so amazingly unfamiliar, so silent! At this time Edward should be reading the Banner, her mother bustling in and out, setting the table for supper. But not a dish was set. The ticking of the ancient clock only served to intensify the silence. Janet entered, almost on tiptoe, made her way to the kitchen door, and looked in. The stove was polished, the pans bright upon the wall, and Hannah was seated in a corner, her hands folded across a spotless apron. Her scant hair was now pure white, her dress seemed to have fallen away from her wasted neck, which was like a trefoil column.

As Janet ran along the dark sidewalks, the sound of the gunshot and the woman’s scream echoed in her ears. Finally, she stopped in front of the warehouse next to Mr. Tiernan's shop, staring at the darkened windows of the flat—of the living room where her mother now slept alone. For a moment, she stood looking at those windows, almost hypnotized by some message they seemed to hold—the answer to a question raised by the incident that had shocked and scared her. They pulled her in, as if in a trance, across the street; she opened the glass-panelled door, remembering mechanically how it never fully closed, pushed it shut, and climbed the stairs. In the dining room, the shiny metal lamp was lit as usual, its light shining on the checkered red tablecloth, on her father's empty chair, on that somewhat worn heirloom, the horsehair sofa. Everything was so familiar, yet so strangely unfamiliar, so silent! At this hour, Edward should be reading the Banner, and her mother should be bustling around, setting the table for dinner. But not a dish was out. The ticking of the old clock only made the silence feel heavier. Janet stepped in, almost on tiptoe, headed toward the kitchen door, and peeked inside. The stove was polished, the pans gleamed on the wall, and Hannah was sitting in a corner, her hands folded over a spotless apron. Her thin hair was now pure white, and her dress seemed to hang loosely from her frail neck, which looked like a delicate column.

“Is that you, Janet? You hain't seen anything of your father?”

“Is that you, Janet? Have you seen anything of your dad?”

The night before Janet had heard this question, and she had been puzzled as to its meaning—whether in the course of the day she had seen her father, or whether Hannah thought he was coming home.

The night before, Janet had heard this question, and she had been confused about what it meant—whether she had seen her dad during the day, or if Hannah thought he was coming home.

“He's at the mill, mother. You know he has to stay there.”

“He's at the mill, Mom. You know he has to be there.”

“I know,” replied Hannah, in a tone faintly reminiscent of the old aspersion. “But I've got everything ready for him in case he should come—any time—if the strikers hain't killed him.”

“I know,” replied Hannah, in a tone that slightly echoed the old insult. “But I've got everything ready for him in case he shows up—anytime—if the strikers haven’t killed him.”

“But he's safe where he is.”

“But he's safe where he is.”

“I presume they will try to kill him, before they get through,” Hannah continued evenly. “But in case he should come at any time, and I'm not here, you tell him all those Bumpus papers are put away in the drawer of that old chest, in the corner. I can't think what he'd do without those papers. That is,” she added, “if you're here yourself.”

“I assume they’ll try to kill him before it’s all over,” Hannah said calmly. “But if he happens to come by when I’m not here, make sure to tell him all those Bumpus papers are stored in the drawer of that old chest in the corner. I can’t imagine what he would do without those papers. That is,” she added, “if you’re here yourself.”

“Why shouldn't you be here?” asked Janet, rather sharply.

“Why are you here?” asked Janet, a bit sharply.

“I dunno, I seem to have got through.” She glanced helplessly around the kitchen. “There don't seem to be much left to keep me alive.... I guess you'll be wanting your supper, won't you? You hain't often home these days—whatever it is you're doing. I didn't expect you.”

“I don’t know, I think I’ve managed to get by.” She looked around the kitchen, feeling lost. “There doesn't seem to be much left to keep me going... I guess you’ll want your dinner, right? You’re not home much these days—whatever it is you're up to. I didn’t expect you.”

Janet did not answer at once.

Janet didn’t respond immediately.

“I—I have to go out again, mother,” she said.

“I—I have to go out again, Mom,” she said.

Hannah accepted the answer as she had accepted every other negative in life, great and small.

Hannah took the answer in stride, just like she had with every other setback in life, big and small.

“Well, I guessed you would.”

"Well, I figured you would."

Janet made a step toward her.

Janet took a step toward her.

“Mother!” she said, but Hannah gazed at her uncomprehendingly. Janet stooped convulsively, and kissed her. Straightening up, she stood looking down at her mother for a few moments, and went out of the room, pausing in the dining-room, to listen, but Hannah apparently had not stirred. She took the box of matches from its accustomed place on the shelf beside the clock, entered the dark bedroom in the front of the flat, closing the door softly behind her. The ghostly blue light from a distant arc came slanting in at the window, glinting on the brass knobs of the chest of drawers-another Bumpus heirloom. She remembered that chest from early childhood; it was one of the few pieces that, following them in all their changes of residence, had been faithful to the end: she knew everything in it, and the place for everything. Drawing a match from the box, she was about to turn on the gas—but the light from the arc would suffice. As she made her way around the walnut bed she had a premonition of poignant anguish as yet unrealized, of anguish being held at bay by a stronger, fiercer, more imperative emotion now demanding expression, refusing at last to be denied. She opened the top drawer of the chest, the drawer in which Hannah, breaking tradition, had put the Bumpus genealogy. Edward had never kept it there. Would the other things be in place? Groping with her hands in the left-hand corner, her fingers clasped exultantly something heavy, something wrapped carefully in layers of flannel. She had feared her father might have taken it to the mill! She drew it out, unwound the flannel, and held to the light an old-fashioned revolver, the grease glistening along its barrel. She remembered, too, that the cartridges had lain beside it, and thrusting her hand once more into the drawer found the box, extracting several, and replacing the rest, closed the drawer, and crept through the dining-room to her bedroom, where she lit the gas in order to examine the weapon—finally contriving, more by accident than skill, to break it. The cartridges, of course, fitted into the empty cylinder. But before inserting them she closed the pistol once more, cocked it, and held it out. Her arm trembled violently as she pulled the trigger. Could she do it? As though to refute this doubt of her ability to carry out an act determined upon, she broke the weapon once more, loaded and closed it, and thrust it in the pocket of her coat. Then, washing the grease from her hands, she put on her gloves, and was about to turn out the light when she saw reflected in the glass the red button of the I.W.W. still pinned on her coat. This she tore off, and flung on the bureau.

“Mom!” she said, but Hannah stared at her blankly. Janet bent down sharply and kissed her. Straightening up, she looked down at her mother for a few moments before leaving the room, stopping in the dining room to listen, but Hannah hadn’t moved. She took the box of matches from its usual spot on the shelf next to the clock, entered the dark bedroom in the front of the apartment, and closed the door quietly behind her. The ghostly blue light from a distant streetlamp filtered in through the window, glinting off the brass knobs of the chest of drawers—another Bumpus family heirloom. She remembered that chest from her early childhood; it was one of the few pieces that had followed them through all their moves and remained with them until now: she knew everything inside it and where everything belonged. Taking a match from the box, she was about to turn on the gas—but the light from the streetlamp would be enough. As she made her way around the walnut bed, she had a strong feeling of deep pain that hadn’t yet hit her, a pain that was being held back by a stronger, more urgent emotion that now demanded to be expressed, refusing to be suppressed any longer. She opened the top drawer of the chest, the one where Hannah, breaking tradition, had placed the Bumpus family tree. Edward had never kept it there. Would the other items be in their places? Feeling around in the left-hand corner, her fingers eagerly grasped something heavy, something carefully wrapped in layers of flannel. She had worried that her father might have taken it to the mill! She pulled it out, unwound the flannel, and held an old-fashioned revolver up to the light, grease shining along its barrel. She also remembered that the bullets had been lying next to it, and reaching back into the drawer, she found the box, took several, put the rest back, closed the drawer, and crept through the dining room to her bedroom, where she turned on the gas to inspect the gun—finally managing, more by chance than skill, to break it apart. The cartridges, of course, fit into the empty cylinder. But before inserting them, she closed the pistol again, cocked it, and held it out. Her arm shook violently as she pulled the trigger. Could she really do it? To prove to herself that she could follow through with her decision, she broke the weapon open again, loaded it, closed it, and shoved it into her coat pocket. Then, after washing the grease off her hands, she put on her gloves and was about to turn off the light when she noticed the red button of the I.W.W. still pinned to her coat in the reflection. She ripped it off and tossed it onto the bureau.

When she had kissed her mother, when she had stood hesitatingly in the darkness of the familiar front bedroom in the presence of unsummoned memories of a home she had believed herself to resent and despise, she had nearly faltered. But once in the street, this weakness suddenly vanished, was replaced by a sense of wrong that now took complete and furious possession of her, driving her like a gale at her back. She scarcely felt on her face the fine rain that had begun to fall once more. Her feet were accustomed to the way. When she had turned down West Street and almost gained the canal, it was with a shock of surprise that she found herself confronted by a man in a long cape who held a rifle and barred her path. She stared at him as at an apparition.

When she had kissed her mom and stood hesitantly in the familiar darkness of the front bedroom, surrounded by unwelcome memories of a home she thought she hated, she almost wavered. But once she hit the street, that weakness suddenly disappeared, replaced by a strong sense of wrong that took over completely and fiercely drove her forward, like a strong wind pushing her along. She hardly noticed the light rain that had started to fall again on her face. Her feet knew the way. When she turned down West Street and almost reached the canal, she was shocked to find a man in a long coat standing in her path with a rifle. She stared at him as if he were a ghost.

“You can't get by here,” he said. “Don't you know that?”

“You can't get through here,” he said. “Don’t you know that?”

She did not reply. He continued to look at her, and presently asked, in a gentler tone:—“Where did you wish to go, lady?”

She didn’t respond. He kept looking at her and eventually asked, in a softer tone:—“Where did you want to go, ma’am?”

“Into the mill,” she replied, “to the offices.”

“Into the mill,” she replied, “to the offices.”

“But there can't anybody go through here unless they have a pass. I'm sorry, but that's the order.”

“But nobody can go through here unless they have a pass. I'm sorry, but that’s the rule.”

Her answer came so readily as to surprise her.

Her answer came so quickly that it surprised her.

“I was Mr. Ditmar's private stenographer. I have to see him.”

“I was Mr. Ditmar's personal stenographer. I need to see him.”

The sentry hesitated, and then addressed another soldier, who was near the bridge.

The guard paused and then spoke to another soldier who was by the bridge.

“Hi, sergeant!” he called. The sergeant came up—a conscientious Boston clerk who had joined the militia from a sense of duty and a need for exercise. While the sentry explained the matter he gazed at Janet. Then he said politely:—“I'm sorry, Miss, but I can't disobey orders.”

“Hey, sergeant!” he called. The sergeant approached—a diligent Boston clerk who had joined the militia out of a sense of duty and a desire to stay active. While the sentry explained the situation, he looked at Janet. Then he said politely, “I'm sorry, Miss, but I can't ignore orders.”

“But can't you send word to Mr. Ditmar, and tell him I want to see him?” she asked.

“But can’t you let Mr. Ditmar know that I want to see him?” she asked.

“Why, I guess so,” he answered, after a moment. “What name shall I say?”

“Yeah, I think so,” he replied after a pause. “What name should I use?”

“Miss Bumpus.”

"Ms. Bumpus."

“Bumpus,” he repeated. “That's the gatekeeper's name.”

"Bumpus," he said again. "That's the name of the gatekeeper."

“I'm his daughter—but I want to see Mr. Ditmar.”

“I'm his daughter, but I want to see Mr. Ditmar.”

“Well,” said the sergeant, “I'm sure it's all right, but I'll have to send in anyway. Orders are orders. You understand?”

“Okay,” the sergeant said, “I'm sure it’s fine, but I still have to report it. Rules are rules. You get what I mean?”

She nodded as he departed. She saw him cross the bridge like a ghost through the white mist rising from the canal. And through the mist she could make out the fortress-like mass of the mill itself, and the blurred, distorted lights in the paymaster's offices smeared on the white curtain of the vapour.

She nodded as he left. She watched him cross the bridge like a ghost through the white mist rising from the canal. And through the mist, she could make out the fortress-like shape of the mill itself, along with the blurred, distorted lights in the paymaster's offices smeared across the white curtain of the vapor.

“Nasty weather,” the sentry remarked, in friendly fashion. He appeared now, despite his uniform, as a good-natured, ungainly youth.

“Nasty weather,” the guard commented, in a friendly way. He seemed, despite his uniform, like a good-natured, awkward young guy.

Janet nodded.

Janet agreed.

“You'd ought to have brought an umbrella,” he said. “I guess it'll rain harder, before it gets through. But it's better than ten below zero, anyhow.”

“You should have brought an umbrella,” he said. “I think it’s going to rain harder before it’s over. But it’s better than ten degrees below zero, anyway.”

She nodded again, but he did not seem to resent her silence. He talked about the hardship of patrolling in winter, until the sergeant came back.

She nodded again, but he didn’t seem bothered by her silence. He talked about the difficulty of patrolling in winter, until the sergeant returned.

“It's all right, Miss Bumpus,” he said, and touched his hat as he escorted her to the bridge. She crossed the canal and went through the vestibule without replying to the greeting of the night-watchman, or noticing his curious glance; she climbed the steel-clad stairway, passed the paymaster's offices and Mr. Orcutt's, and gained the outer office where she had worked as a stenographer. It was dark, but sufficient light came through Ditmar's open door to guide her beside the rail. He had heard her step, and as she entered his room he had put his hands heavily on his desk, in the act of rising from his chair.

“It's okay, Miss Bumpus,” he said, tipping his hat as he walked her to the bridge. She crossed the canal and walked through the vestibule without responding to the night-watchman's greeting or noticing his curious look; she climbed the metal staircase, passed by the paymaster's offices and Mr. Orcutt's, and reached the outer office where she had worked as a stenographer. It was dark, but enough light from Ditmar's open door illuminated her path alongside the railing. He heard her approach, and as she entered his office, he rested his hands heavily on his desk, preparing to rise from his chair.

“Janet!” he said, and started toward her, but got no farther than the corner of the desk. The sight of her heaving breast, of the peculiar light that flashed from beneath her lashes stopped him suddenly. Her hands were in her pockets. “What is it?” he demanded stupidly.

“Janet!” he called, moving toward her, but he only got as far as the corner of the desk. The sight of her breathing heavily and the strange sparkle in her eyes made him freeze. Her hands were in her pockets. “What’s going on?” he asked, feeling foolish.

But she continued to stand there, breathing so heavily that she could not speak. It was then that he became aware of an acute danger. He did not flinch.

But she kept standing there, breathing so heavily that she couldn't speak. It was then that he realized there was a serious danger. He didn't flinch.

“What is it?” he repeated.

“What is it?” he asked again.

Still she was silent. One hand was thrust deeper into its pocket, he saw a shudder run through her, and suddenly she burst into hysterical weeping, sinking into a chair. He stood for some moments helplessly regarding her before he gained the presence of mind to go to the door and lock it, returning to bend over her.

Still, she remained quiet. One hand went deeper into her pocket, and he noticed a shiver pass through her. Suddenly, she erupted into uncontrollable tears, collapsing into a chair. He stood there for a few moments, helplessly looking at her, before he gathered the composure to go to the door and lock it, returning to lean over her.

“Don't touch me!” she said, shrinking from him.

“Don't touch me!” she said, pulling away from him.

“For God's sake tell me what's the matter,” he begged.

“For heaven's sake, tell me what's wrong,” he pleaded.

She looked up at him and tried to speak, struggling against the sobs that shook her.

She looked up at him and tried to speak, fighting against the sobs that shook her.

“I—I came here to—to kill you—only I can't do it.”

“I—I came here to—to kill you—only I can't go through with it.”

“To kill me!” he said, after a pause. In spite of the fact that he had half divined her intention, the words shocked him. Whatever else may be said of him, he did not lack courage, his alarm was not of a physical nature. Mingled with it were emotions he himself did not understand, caused by the unwonted sight of her loss of self-control, of her anger, and despair. “Why did you want to kill me?”

“To kill me!” he said, after a pause. Even though he had somewhat guessed her intention, the words shocked him. Whatever else could be said about him, he wasn't lacking in courage; his alarm was not physical. Mixed in with it were feelings he didn't fully understand, spurred by the unusual sight of her losing control, her anger, and her despair. “Why did you want to kill me?”

And again he had to wait for an answer.

And once more, he had to wait for a reply.

“Because you've spoiled my life—because I'm going to have a child!”

“Because you've ruined my life—because I'm going to have a baby!”

“What do you mean? Are you?... it can't be possible.”

“What do you mean? Are you?... that can't be possible.”

“It is possible, it's true—it's true. I've waited and waited, I've suffered, I've almost gone crazy—and now I know. And I said I'd kill you if it were so, I'd kill myself—only I can't. I'm a coward.” Her voice was drowned again by weeping.

“It’s possible, it’s true—it really is. I’ve waited and waited, I’ve suffered, I’ve almost lost my mind—and now I know. I said I’d kill you if it came to that; I’d kill myself—but I can’t. I’m too afraid.” Her voice was overwhelmed again by sobs.

A child! He had never imagined such a contingency! And as he leaned back against the desk, his emotions became chaotic. The sight of her, even as she appeared crazed by anger, had set his passion aflame—for the intensity and fierceness of her nature had always made a strong appeal to dominant qualities in Ditmar's nature. And then—this announcement! Momentarily it turned his heart to water. Now that he was confronted by an exigency that had once vicariously yet deeply disturbed him in a similar affair of a friend of his, the code and habit of a lifetime gained an immediate ascendency—since then he had insisted that this particular situation was to be avoided above all others. And his mind leaped to possibilities. She had wished to kill him—would she remain desperate enough to ruin him? Even though he were not at a crisis in his affairs, a scandal of this kind would be fatal.

A child! He had never thought such a thing could happen! As he leaned back against the desk, his emotions swirled. Seeing her, even in her fury, sparked something inside him—her intensity and fierceness had always drawn out his dominant traits. And then—this news! For a moment, it made his heart feel like water. Now that he was faced with a situation that had once troubled him deeply through a friend’s similar experience, the patterns and habits he had followed for a lifetime surged to the forefront—he had always insisted that this specific situation was to be avoided at all costs. His mind raced with possibilities. She wanted to destroy him—would she be desperate enough to ruin him? Even if he weren't in a crisis, a scandal like this would be disastrous.

“I didn't know,” he said desperately, “I couldn't guess. Do you think I would have had this thing happen to you? I was carried away—we were both carried away—”

“I didn't know,” he said desperately, “I couldn't guess. Do you think I would have let this happen to you? I was overwhelmed—we were both overwhelmed—”

“You planned it!” she replied vehemently, without looking up. “You didn't care for me, you only—wanted me.”

“You planned it!” she said passionately, not looking up. “You didn't care about me, you just—wanted me.”

“That isn't so—I swear that isn't so. I loved you I love you.”

"That’s not true—I swear it’s not true. I loved you, I love you."

“Oh, do you think I believe that?” she exclaimed.

“Oh, do you really think I believe that?” she exclaimed.

“I swear it—I'll prove it!” he protested. Still under the influence of an acute anxiety, he was finding it difficult to gather his wits, to present his case. “When you left me that day the strike began—when you left me without giving me a chance—you'll never know how that hurt me.”

“I swear it—I’ll prove it!” he insisted. Still feeling intense anxiety, he found it hard to think clearly and make his case. “When you left me that day the strike began—when you walked away without giving me a chance—you'll never know how much that hurt me.”

“You'll never know how it hurt me!” she interrupted.

“You'll never know how much it hurt me!” she interrupted.

“Then why, in God's name, did you do it? I wasn't myself, then, you ought to have seen that. And when I heard from Caldwell here that you'd joined those anarchists—”

“Then why, for God's sake, did you do it? I wasn't myself back then; you should have noticed that. And when I heard from Caldwell here that you had joined those anarchists—”

“They're no worse than you are—they only want what you've got,” she said.

“They're no worse than you—they just want what you have,” she said.

He waved this aside. “I couldn't believe it—I wouldn't believe it until somebody saw you walking with one of them to their Headquarters. Why did you do it?”

He dismissed it. “I couldn’t believe it—I wouldn’t believe it until someone saw you walking with one of them to their headquarters. Why did you do it?”

“Because I know how they feel, I sympathize with the strikers, I want them to win—against you!” She lifted her head and looked at him, and in spite of the state of his feelings he felt a twinge of admiration at her defiance.

“Because I understand how they feel, I sympathize with the strikers; I want them to win—against you!” She raised her head and looked at him, and despite his own emotions, he felt a flash of admiration at her defiance.

“Because you love me!” he said.

“Because you love me!” he exclaimed.

“Because I hate you,” she answered.

“Because I hate you,” she replied.

And yet a spark of exultation leaped within him at the thought that love had caused this apostasy. He had had that suspicion before, though it was a poor consolation when he could not reach her. Now she had made it vivid. A woman's logic, or lack of logic—her logic.

And yet a spark of joy ignited inside him at the thought that love had led to this betrayal. He had suspected it before, but it was little comfort when he couldn't reach her. Now she had made it clear. A woman's reasoning, or lack thereof—her reasoning.

“Listen!” he pleaded. “I tried to forget you—I tried to keep myself going all the time that I mightn't think of you, but I couldn't help thinking of you, wanting you, longing for you. I never knew why you left me, except that you seemed to believe I was unkind to you, and that something had happened. It wasn't my fault—” he pulled himself up abruptly.

“Listen!” he begged. “I tried to forget you—I tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t think of you, but I couldn’t help it. I thought about you, wanted you, missed you. I never understood why you left me, other than that you felt I was unkind and that something had happened. It wasn’t my fault—” he stopped abruptly.

“I found out what men were like,” she said. “A man made my sister a woman of the streets—that's what you've done to me.”

“I found out what men are like,” she said. “A man turned my sister into a woman of the streets—that's what you’ve done to me.”

He winced. And the calmness she had regained, which was so characteristic of her, struck him with a new fear.

He flinched. And the calmness she had gotten back, which was so typical of her, filled him with a new sense of dread.

“I'm not that kind of a man,” he said.

“I'm not that kind of guy,” he said.

But she did not answer. His predicament became more trying.

But she didn’t reply. His situation became more difficult.

“I'll take care of you,” he assured her, after a moment. “If you'll only trust me, if you'll only come to me I'll see that no harm comes to you.”

“I’ll take care of you,” he promised her after a moment. “If you just trust me, if you’ll come to me, I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

She regarded him with a sort of wonder—a look that put a fine edge of dignity and scorn to her words when they came.

She looked at him with a mix of wonder—a gaze that added a sharp touch of dignity and disdain to her words when they finally came out.

“I told you I didn't want to be taken care of—I wanted to kill you, and kill myself. I don't know why I can't what prevents me.” She rose. “But I'm not going to trouble you any more—you'll never hear of me again.”

“I told you I didn't want anyone to look after me—I wanted to kill you and myself. I don't know what stops me.” She got up. “But I'm not going to bother you anymore—you'll never hear from me again.”

She would not trouble him, she was going away, he would never hear of her again! Suddenly, with the surge of relief he experienced, came a pang. He could not let her go—it was impossible. It seemed that he had never understood his need of her, his love for her, until now that he had brought her to this supreme test of self-revelation. She had wanted to kill him, yes, to kill herself—but how could he ever have believed that she would stoop to another method of retaliation? As she stood before him the light in her eyes still wet with tears—transfigured her.

She wouldn’t bother him anymore; she was leaving, and he’d never hear from her again! Suddenly, along with the relief he felt, came a sharp pain. He couldn’t let her go—it was unthinkable. It seemed he had never realized how much he needed her, how much he loved her, until this moment when he had put her through this ultimate test of revealing her true self. She had wanted to hurt him, yes, to harm herself—but how could he have ever thought she would resort to another way of getting back at him? As she stood before him, her eyes still glistening with tears—she was transformed.

“I love you, Janet,” he said. “I want you to marry me.”

“I love you, Janet,” he said. “I want you to marry me.”

“You don't understand,” she answered. “You never did. If I had married you, I'd feel just the same—but it isn't really as bad as if we had been married.”

“You don't get it,” she replied. “You never have. If I had married you, I’d feel the same way—but it’s not as bad as if we had actually been married.”

“Not as bad!” he exclaimed.

“Not too bad!” he exclaimed.

“If we were married, you'd think you had rights over me,” she explained, slowly. “Now you haven't any, I can go away. I couldn't live with you. I know what happened to me, I've thought it all out, I wanted to get away from the life I was leading—I hated it so, I was crazy to have a chance, to see the world, to get nearer some of the beautiful things I knew were there, but couldn't reach.... And you came along. I did love you, I would have done anything for you—it was only when I saw that you didn't really love me that I began to hate you, that I wanted to get away from you, when I saw that you only wanted me until you should get tired of me. That's your nature, you can't help it. And it would have been the same if we were married, only worse, I couldn't have stood it any more than I can now—I'd have left you. You say you'll marry me now, but that's because you're sorry for me—since I've said I'm not going to trouble you any more. You'll be glad I've gone. You may—want me now, but that isn't love. When you say you love me, I can't believe you.”

“If we were married, you'd think you had rights over me,” she explained slowly. “But you don't have any now, and I can leave. I couldn't live with you. I know what happened to me; I've thought it through. I wanted to escape the life I was living—I hated it so much. I was desperate for a chance to see the world and to get closer to some of the beautiful things I knew were out there but couldn't reach... And then you showed up. I did love you; I would have done anything for you. It was only when I realized you didn’t really love me that I started to hate you, that I wanted to get away from you when I saw that you only wanted me until you got tired of me. That’s just your nature; you can't help it. And it would have been the same if we were married, only worse. I wouldn't have been able to handle it any more than I can now—I would have left you. You say you'll marry me now, but that's only because you feel sorry for me since I said I’m not going to bother you anymore. You'll be relieved I've gone. You may want me now, but that isn't love. When you say you love me, I can't believe you.”

“You must believe me! And the child, Janet,—our child—”

“You have to believe me! And the kid, Janet—our kid—”

“If the world was right,” she said, “I could have this child and nobody would say anything. I could support it—I guess I can anyway. And when I'm not half crazy I want it. Maybe that's the reason I couldn't do what I tried to do just now. It's natural for a woman to want a child—especially a woman like me, who hasn't anybody or anything.”

“If the world were fair,” she said, “I could have this child and no one would say a thing. I could support it—I guess I can regardless. And when I'm not feeling half insane, I really want it. Maybe that's why I couldn’t go through with what I just tried to do. It’s natural for a woman to want a child—especially a woman like me, who doesn’t have anyone or anything.”

Ditmar's state of mind was too complicated to be wholly described. As the fact had been gradually brought home to him that she had not come as a supplicant, that even in her misery she was free, and he helpless, there revived in him wild memories of her body, of the kisses he had wrung from her—and yet this physical desire was accompanied by a realization of her personality never before achieved. And because he had hitherto failed to achieve it, she had escaped him. This belated, surpassing glimpse of what she essentially was, and the thought of the child their child—permeating his passion, transformed it into a feeling hitherto unexperienced and unimagined. He hovered over her, pitifully, his hands feeling for her, yet not daring to touch her.

Ditmar's state of mind was too complex to fully explain. As it slowly became clear to him that she hadn’t come as a beggar, that even in her suffering she was free and he was powerless, memories of her body and the kisses he had taken from her flooded back. Yet this physical desire was mixed with a deeper understanding of her personality that he had never grasped before. Because he had failed to see it earlier, she had eluded him. This late but profound realization of who she truly was, along with the thought of their child—intensified his passion and transformed it into a feeling he had never experienced or imagined before. He hovered over her, pitifully, his hands reaching for her but hesitating to touch her.

“Can't you see that I love you?” he cried, “that I'm ready to marry you now, to-night. You must love me, I won't believe that you don't after—after all we have been to each other.”

“Can't you see that I love you?” he exclaimed, “that I'm ready to marry you right now, tonight. You must love me; I refuse to believe that you don't after everything we've been through together.”

But even then she could not believe. Something in her, made hard by the intensity of her suffering, refused to melt. And her head was throbbing, and she scarcely heard him.

But even then she couldn't believe it. Something inside her, hardened by how much she was suffering, wouldn't soften. Her head was pounding, and she could barely hear him.

“I can't stay any longer,” she said, getting to her feet. “I can't bear it.”

“I can't stay any longer,” she said, standing up. “I can't handle it.”

“Janet, I swear I'll care for you as no woman was ever cared for. For God's sake listen to me, give me a chance, forgive me!” He seized her arm; she struggled, gently but persistently, to free herself from his hold.

“Janet, I promise I'll take care of you like no woman has ever been taken care of. For God's sake, listen to me, give me a chance, forgive me!” He grabbed her arm; she struggled, gently but firmly, to break free from his grip.

“Let me go, please.” All the passionate anger had gone out of her, and she spoke in a monotone, as one under hypnosis, dominated by a resolution which, for the present at least, he was powerless to shake.

“Let me go, please.” All the intense anger had drained away from her, and she spoke in a flat tone, as if under hypnosis, controlled by a determination that, for now at least, he couldn’t break.

“But to-morrow?” he pleaded. “You'll let me see you to-morrow, when you've had time to think it over, when you realize that I love you and want you, that I haven't meant to be cruel—that you've misjudged me—thought I was a different kind of a man. I don't blame you for that, I guess something happened to make you believe it. I've got enemies. For the sake of the child, Janet, if for nothing else, you'll come back to me! You're—you're tired tonight, you're not yourself. I don't wonder, after all you've been through. If you'd only come to me before! God knows what I've suffered, too!”

“But tomorrow?” he pleaded. “You'll let me see you tomorrow, after you've had some time to think it over, when you realize that I love you and want you, that I never meant to be cruel—that you’ve misjudged me—thought I was a different kind of man. I don’t blame you for that; I guess something happened to make you believe it. I have enemies. For the sake of the child, Janet, if for nothing else, you’ll come back to me! You’re—you're tired tonight; you’re not yourself. I can’t blame you, after everything you’ve been through. If only you’d come to me before! God knows what I’ve suffered, too!”

“Let me go, please,” she repeated, and this time, despairingly, he obeyed her, a conviction of her incommunicability overwhelming him. He turned and, fumbling with the key, unlocked the door and opened it. “I'll see you to-morrow,” he faltered once more, and watched her as she went through the darkened outer room until she gained the lighted hallway beyond and disappeared. Her footsteps died away into silence. He was trembling. For several minutes he stood where she had left him, tortured by a sense of his inability to act, to cope with this, the great crisis of his life, when suddenly the real significance of that strange last look in her eyes was borne home to him. And he had allowed her to go out into the streets alone! Seizing his hat and coat, he fairly ran out of the office and down the stairs and across the bridge.

“Let me go, please,” she said again, and this time, full of despair, he gave in to her, feeling overwhelmed by her inability to communicate. He turned, fumbled with the key, unlocked the door, and opened it. “I'll see you tomorrow,” he stumbled over the words again, watching her as she walked through the dark outer room until she reached the lighted hallway and disappeared. Her footsteps faded into silence. He was shaking. For several minutes, he stood where she had left him, tormented by his inability to act, to handle this—the biggest crisis of his life—when suddenly it hit him what that strange last look in her eyes truly meant. And he had let her leave alone! Grabbing his hat and coat, he rushed out of the office, down the stairs, and across the bridge.

“Which way did that young lady go?” he demanders of the sergeant.

“Which way did that young woman go?” he asked the sergeant.

“Why—uh, West Street, Mr. Ditmar.”

"Why—uh, West Street, Mr. Ditmar."

He remembered where Fillmore Street was; he had, indeed, sought it out one evening in the hope of meeting her. He hurried toward it now, his glance strained ahead to catch sight of her figure under a lamp. But he reached Fillmore Street without overtaking her, and in the rain he stood gazing at the mean houses there, wondering in which of them she lived, and whether she had as yet come home....

He remembered where Fillmore Street was; he had, in fact, gone there one evening hoping to see her. He hurried toward it now, his eyes scanning ahead to catch a glimpse of her figure under a streetlight. But he reached Fillmore Street without spotting her, and in the rain, he stood staring at the shabby houses there, wondering which one she lived in and whether she had come home yet....

After leaving Ditmar Janet, probably from force of habit, had indeed gone through West Street, and after that she walked on aimlessly. It was better to walk than to sit alone in torment, to be gnawed by that Thing from which she had so desperately attempted to escape, and failed. She tried to think why she had failed.... Though the rain fell on her cheeks, her mouth was parched; and this dryness of her palate, this physical sense of lightness, almost of dizziness, were intimately yet incomprehensibly part and parcel of the fantastic moods into which she floated. It was as though, in trying to solve a problem, she caught herself from time to time falling off to sleep. In her waking moments she was terror-stricken. Scarce an hour had passed since, in a terrible exaltation at having found a solution, she had gone to Ditmar's office in the mill. What had happened to stay her? It was when she tried to find the cause of the weakness that so abruptly had overtaken her, or to cast about for a plan to fit the new predicament to which her failure had sentenced her, that the fantasies intruded. She heard Ditmar speaking, the arguments were curiously familiar—but they were not Ditmar's! They were her father's, and now it was Edward's voice to which she listened, he was telling her how eminently proper it was that she should marry Ditmar, because of her Bumpus blood. And this made her laugh.... Again, Ditmar was kissing her hair. He had often praised it. She had taken it down and combed it out for him; it was like a cloud, he said—so fine; its odour made him faint—and then the odour changed, became that of the detested perfume of Miss Lottie Myers! Even that made Janet smile! But Ditmar was strong, he was powerful, he was a Fact, why not go back to him and let him absorb and destroy her? That annihilation would be joy....

After leaving Ditmar, Janet, probably out of habit, had actually walked through West Street, and then she wandered around aimlessly. It felt better to walk than to sit alone in pain, tormented by that Thing she had desperately tried to escape and failed. She attempted to figure out why she had failed... Even though the rain was hitting her cheeks, her mouth felt dry, and this dryness, this physical sensation of lightness, almost dizziness, was deeply yet inexplicably tied to the strange moods she was drifting into. It was as if, while trying to solve a problem, she found herself dozing off at times. In her moments of wakefulness, she was terrified. It had hardly been an hour since, in a rush of excitement at having found a solution, she had gone to Ditmar's office at the mill. What had stopped her? It was when she tried to pinpoint the reason for the weakness that had suddenly overwhelmed her or to come up with a plan for the new situation her failure had put her in that the fantasies started to intrude. She could hear Ditmar speaking; the arguments were oddly familiar—but they weren't Ditmar's! They were her father's, and now it was Edward's voice she heard, telling her how completely appropriate it was for her to marry Ditmar because of her Bumpus blood. And that made her laugh... Again, Ditmar was kissing her hair. He often complimented it. She had taken it down and brushed it out for him; he said it was like a cloud—so fine; its scent made him dizzy—and then the scent changed, turning into the hated perfume of Miss Lottie Myers! Even that made Janet smile! But Ditmar was strong, he was powerful, he was a Reality; why not return to him and let him absorb and destroy her? That kind of annihilation would be bliss...

It could not have been much later than seven o'clock when she found herself opposite the familiar, mulberry-shingled Protestant church. The light from its vestibule made a gleaming square on the wet sidewalk, and into this area, from the surrounding darkness, came silhouetted figures of men and women holding up umbrellas; some paused for a moment's chat, their voices subdued by an awareness of the tabernacle. At the sight of this tiny congregation something stirred within her. She experienced a twinge of surprise at the discovery that other people in the world, in Hampton, were still leading tranquil, untormented existences. They were contented, prosperous, stupid, beyond any need of help from God, and yet they were going to prayer-meeting to ask something! He refused to find her in the dark streets. Would she find Him if she went in there? and would He help her?

It couldn't have been much later than seven o'clock when she found herself in front of the familiar Protestant church with its mulberry shingles. The light from the entrance created a bright square on the wet sidewalk, and from the surrounding darkness came the silhouettes of people holding umbrellas. Some paused for a quick chat, their voices hushed out of respect for the place. Seeing this small group stirred something in her. She felt a twinge of surprise realizing that other people in the world, in Hampton, were still living peaceful, untroubled lives. They seemed content, successful, and completely indifferent to any need for help from God, yet they were going to a prayer meeting to ask for something! He refused to find her in the dark streets. Would she find Him if she went in there? And would He help her?

The bell in the tower began to clang, with heavy, relentless strokes—like physical blows from which she flinched—each stirring her reluctant, drowsy soul to a quicker agony. From the outer blackness through which she fled she gazed into bright rooms of homes whose blinds were left undrawn, as though to taunt and mock the wanderer. She was an outcast! Who henceforth would receive her save those, unconformed and unconformable, sentenced to sin in this realm of blackness? Henceforth from all warmth and love she was banished.... In the middle of the Stanley Street bridge she stopped to lean against the wet rail; the mill lights were scattered, dancing points of fire over the invisible swift waters, and she raised her eyes presently to the lights themselves, seeking one unconsciously—Ditmar's! Yes, it was his she sought; though it was so distant, sometimes it seemed to burn like a red star, and then to flicker and disappear. She could not be sure.... Something chill and steely was in the pocket of her coat—it made a heavy splash in the water when she dropped it. The river could not be so very cold! She wished she could go down like that into forgetfulness. But she couldn't.... Where was Lise now?... It would be so easy just to drop over that parapet and be whirled away, and down and down. Why couldn't she? Well, it was because—because—she was going to have a child. Well, if she had a child to take care of, she would not be so lonely—she would have something to love. She loved it now, as though she felt it quickening within her, she wanted it, to lavish on it all of a starved affection. She seemed actually to feel in her arms its soft little body pressed against her. Claude Ditmar's child! And she suddenly recalled, as an incident of the remote past, that she had told him she wanted it!

The bell in the tower began to ring loudly and continuously—like physical hits that made her flinch—each one forcing her unwilling, sleepy soul into a sharper pain. From the darkness she escaped, she looked into bright rooms of homes with their blinds wide open, as if taunting and mocking her as a wanderer. She was an outcast! Who would accept her now but those who didn’t fit in and were condemned to sin in this world of darkness? From all warmth and love, she was now banished.... In the middle of the Stanley Street bridge, she stopped to lean against the wet railing; the mill lights twinkled like scattered points of fire over the swift, unseen waters, and she raised her eyes to the lights themselves, unconsciously searching for one—Ditmar's! Yes, it was his she hoped to see; even though it was far away, sometimes it seemed to shine like a red star, then flicker and vanish. She couldn't be sure.... Something cold and hard was in the pocket of her coat—it made a loud splash in the water when she let it go. The river couldn’t be that cold! She wished she could sink down into forgetfulness like that. But she couldn’t.... Where was Lise now?... It would be so easy to just lean over that railing and be swept away, down and down. Why couldn’t she? Well, it was because—because—she was going to have a child. If she had a child to care for, she wouldn’t feel so lonely—she would have something to love. She loved it already, as if she felt it moving inside her; she wanted to give it all the love she had been missing. She could almost feel its soft little body pressed against her. Claude Ditmar’s child! And she suddenly remembered, as a distant memory, that she had told him she wanted it!

This tense craving for it she felt now was somehow the answer to an expressed wish which had astonished her. Perhaps that was the reason why she had failed to do what she had tried to do, to shoot Ditmar and herself! It was Ditmar's child, Ditmar's and hers! He had loved her, long ago, and just now—was it just now?—he had said he loved her still, he had wanted to marry her. Then why had she run away from him? Why had she taken the child into outer darkness, to be born without a father,—when she loved Ditmar? Wasn't that one reason why she wanted the child? why, even in her moments of passionate hatred she recalled having been surprised by some such yearning as now came over her? And for an interval, a brief interval, she viewed him with startling clarity. Not because he embodied any ideal did she love him, but because he was what he was, because he had overcome her will, dominated and possessed her, left his mark upon her indelibly. He had been cruel to her, willing to sacrifice her to his way of life, to his own desires, but he loved her, for she had seen, if not heeded in his eyes the look that a woman never mistakes! She remembered it now, and the light in his window glowed again, like a star to guide her back to him. It was drawing her, irresistibly....

This intense desire she felt now was somehow the answer to a wish she had expressed, which had surprised her. Maybe that's why she hadn't been able to do what she had tried to do—shoot Ditmar and herself! It was Ditmar's child, theirs! He had loved her a long time ago, and just now—had he really just said it?—he had claimed he still loved her, that he wanted to marry her. So why had she run away from him? Why had she taken the child into the unknown, to be born without a father, when she loved Ditmar? Wasn't that part of why she wanted the child? Why, even in her moments of deep anger, she remembered feeling caught off guard by some longing like what washed over her now? And for a brief moment, she saw him with startling clarity. She didn't love him because he was some ideal, but because he was simply who he was; he had broken her will, dominated her, marked her permanently. He had been cruel, willing to sacrifice her for his lifestyle and desires, but he loved her, she had seen the look in his eyes that no woman ever misinterprets! She recalled it now, and the light in his window glowed again, like a star guiding her back to him. It was pulling her in, irresistibly...

The sentry recognized her as she came along the canal.

The guard recognized her as she walked along the canal.

“Mr. Ditmar's gone,” he told her.

“Mr. Ditmar's gone,” he said to her.

“Gone!” she repeated. “Gone!”

“It's gone!” she repeated. “It's gone!”

“Why, yes, about five minutes after you left he was looking for you—he asked the sergeant about you.”

“Yeah, about five minutes after you left, he was looking for you—he asked the sergeant about you.”

“And—he won't be back?”

“And—he isn’t coming back?”

“I guess not,” answered the man, sympathetically. “He said good-night.”

“I guess not,” the man replied, sympathetically. “He said good night.”

She turned away dully. The strength and hope with which she had been so unexpectedly infused while gazing from the bridge at his window had suddenly ebbed; her legs ached, her feet were wet, and she shivered, though her forehead burned. The world became distorted, people flitted past her like weird figures of a dream, the myriad lights of Faber Street were blurred and whirled in company with the electric signs. Seeking to escape from their confusion she entered a side street leading north, only to be forcibly seized by some one who darted after her from the sidewalk.

She turned away listlessly. The strength and hope that had unexpectedly filled her while she looked from the bridge at his window had suddenly faded; her legs hurt, her feet were wet, and she was shivering, even though her forehead felt hot. The world seemed distorted, and people moved past her like strange figures in a dream, the countless lights of Faber Street were blurred and swirling along with the neon signs. Trying to escape the chaos, she entered a side street heading north, only to be abruptly grabbed by someone who had darted after her from the sidewalk.

“Excuse me, but you didn't see that automobile,” he said, as he released her.

“Excuse me, but you didn’t see that car,” he said as he let her go.

Shaken, she went on through several streets to find herself at length confronted by a pair of shabby doors that looked familiar, and pushing one of them open, baited at the bottom of a stairway to listen. The sound of cheerful voices camp to her from above; she started to climb—even with the help of the rail it seemed as if she would never reach the top of that stairway. But at last she stood in a loft where long tables were set, and at the end of one of these, sorting out spoons and dishes, three women and a man were chatting and laughing together. Janet was troubled because she could not remember who the man was, although she recognized his bold profile, his voice and gestures.... At length one of the women said something in a low tone, and he looked around quickly and crossed the room.

Shaken, she walked through several streets until she finally came across a pair of shabby doors that looked familiar. Pushing one of them open, she stood at the bottom of a staircase to listen. Cheerful voices drifted down to her from above; she began to climb, and even with the help of the railing, it felt like she'd never reach the top of those stairs. But finally, she found herself in a loft where long tables were set up, and at the end of one of them, three women and a man were sorting out spoons and dishes while chatting and laughing together. Janet felt uneasy because she couldn't remember who the man was, even though she recognized his confident profile, voice, and gestures. Finally, one of the women spoke in a low voice, and he quickly looked around and crossed the room.

“Why, it's you!” he said, and suddenly she recalled his name.

“Wow, it’s you!” he said, and all of a sudden she remembered his name.

“Mr. Insall!”

"Mr. Insall!"

But his swift glance had noticed the expression in her eyes, the sagged condition of her clothes, the attitude that proclaimed exhaustion. He took her by the arm and led her to the little storeroom, turning on the light and placing her in a chair. Darkness descended on her....

But his quick look had picked up the look in her eyes, the worn-out state of her clothes, the vibe that shouted fatigue. He grabbed her by the arm and guided her to the small storeroom, flipping the light on and setting her down in a chair. Darkness fell over her...

Mrs. Maturin, returning from an errand, paused for an instant in the doorway, and ran forward and bent over Janet.

Mrs. Maturin, coming back from an errand, stopped for a moment in the doorway, then rushed forward and leaned over Janet.

“Oh, Brooks, what is it—what's happened to her?”

“Oh, Brooks, what’s going on—what happened to her?”

“I don't know,” he replied, “I didn't have a chance to ask her. I'm going for a doctor.”

“I don’t know,” he said, “I didn’t get a chance to ask her. I’m going to see a doctor.”

“Leave her to me, and call Miss Hay.” Mrs. Maturin was instantly competent .... And when Insall came back from the drug store where he had telephoned she met him at the head of the stairs. “We've done everything we can, Edith Hay has given her brandy, and gone off for dry clothes, and we've taken all the children's things out of the drawers and laid her on the floor, but she hasn't come to. Poor child,—what can have happened to her? Is the doctor coming?”

“Leave her to me, and call Miss Hay.” Mrs. Maturin was quickly in charge .... And when Insall returned from the drugstore where he had made a call, she met him at the top of the stairs. “We've done everything we can, Edith Hay has given her brandy and gone to get her some dry clothes, and we've taken out all the children's things from the drawers and laid her on the floor, but she hasn't come to. Poor girl—what could have happened to her? Is the doctor on the way?”

“Right away,” said Insall, and Mrs. Maturin went back into the storeroom. Miss Hay brought the dry clothes before the physician arrived.

“Right away,” said Insall, and Mrs. Maturin walked back into the storeroom. Miss Hay brought the dry clothes before the doctor arrived.

“It's probably pneumonia,” he explained to Insall a little later. “She must go to the hospital—but the trouble is all our hospitals are pretty full, owing to the sickness caused by the strike.” He hesitated. “Of course, if she has friends, she could have better care in a private institution just now.”

“It's probably pneumonia,” he told Insall a little later. “She needs to go to the hospital—but the problem is all our hospitals are pretty full, thanks to the illness caused by the strike.” He paused. “Of course, if she has friends, she could get better care in a private facility right now.”

“Oh, she has friends,” said Mrs. Maturin. “Couldn't we take her to our little hospital at Silliston, doctor? It's only four miles—that isn't much in an automobile, and the roads are good now.”

“Oh, she has friends,” said Mrs. Maturin. “Can't we take her to our little hospital in Silliston, doctor? It’s only four miles—that’s not far in a car, and the roads are good now.”

“Well, the risk isn't much greater, if you have a closed car, and she would, of course, be better looked after,” the physician consented.

“Well, the risk isn't much higher if you have a closed car, and she would definitely be better taken care of,” the doctor agreed.

“I'll see to it at once,” said Insall....

“I'll take care of it right away,” said Insall....





CHAPTER XX

The Martha Wootton Memorial Hospital was the hobby of an angel alumnus of Silliston. It was situated in Hovey's Lane, but from the window of the white-enameled room in which she lay Janet could see the bare branches of the Common elms quivering to the spring gusts, could watch, day by day, the grass changing from yellow-brown to vivid green in the white sunlight. In the morning, when the nurse opened the blinds, that sunlight swept radiantly into the room, lavish with its caresses; always spending, always giving, the symbol of a loving care that had been poured out on her, unasked and unsought. It was sweet to rest, to sleep. And instead of the stringent monster-cry of the siren, of the discordant clamour of the mill bells, it was sweet yet strange to be awakened by silvertoned chimes proclaiming peaceful hours. At first she surrendered to the spell, and had no thought of the future. For a little while every day, Mrs. Maturin read aloud, usually from books of poetry. And knowing many of the verses by heart, she would watch Janet's face, framed in the soft dark hair that fell in two long plaits over her shoulders. For Janet little guessed the thought that went into the choosing of these books, nor could she know of the hours spent by this lady pondering over library shelves or consulting eagerly with Brooks Insall. Sometimes Augusta Maturin thought of Janet as a wildflower—one of the rare, shy ones, hiding under its leaves; sprung up in Hampton, of all places, crushed by a heedless foot, yet miraculously not destroyed, and already pushing forth new and eager tendrils. And she had transplanted it. To find the proper nourishment, to give it a chance to grow in a native, congenial soil, such was her breathless task. And so she had selected “The Child's Garden of Verses.”

The Martha Wootton Memorial Hospital was the project of an alumna from Silliston. It was located on Hovey's Lane, but from the window of the white-painted room where she lay, Janet could see the bare branches of the Common elms swaying in the spring breezes. She could watch, day by day, the grass change from yellow-brown to bright green in the sunlight. In the morning, when the nurse opened the blinds, that sunlight flooded into the room, generous in its warmth; always giving, always sharing, like a caring embrace that had been given to her without being asked for or sought. It was nice to rest, to sleep. And instead of the harsh wail of the siren or the jarring noise of the factory bells, it was sweet yet unusual to be awakened by soft chimes announcing peaceful moments. At first, she let herself be enchanted, not thinking about the future. For a little while each day, Mrs. Maturin read aloud, often from poetry books. Knowing many of the verses by heart, she would watch Janet's face, framed by the soft dark hair that fell in two long braids over her shoulders. Janet had little idea of the thought that went into choosing these books, nor could she know of the hours this lady spent contemplating library shelves or eagerly discussing with Brooks Insall. Sometimes, Augusta Maturin thought of Janet as a wildflower—one of those rare, timid types hiding under its leaves; having sprung up in Hampton, of all places, trampled by an unaware foot, yet somehow not destroyed, and already sending out new and eager shoots. And she had replanted it. Finding the right nourishment, giving it a chance to thrive in a natural, friendly environment, was her urgent task. And so she chose “The Child's Garden of Verses.”

       “I should like to rise and go
        Where the golden apples grow”...
       “I would like to get up and go
        Where the golden apples grow”...

When she laid down her book it was to talk, perhaps, of Silliston. Established here before the birth of the Republic, its roots were bedded in the soil of a racial empire, to a larger vision of which Augusta Maturin clung: an empire of Anglo-Saxon tradition which, despite disagreements and conflicts—nay, through them—developed imperceptibly toward a sublimer union, founded not on dominion, but on justice and right. She spoke of the England she had visited on her wedding journey, of the landmarks and literature that also through generations have been American birthrights; and of that righteous self-assertion and independence which, by protest and even by war, America had contributed to the democracy of the future. Silliston, indifferent to cults and cataclysms, undisturbed by the dark tides flung westward to gather in deposits in other parts of the land, had held fast to the old tradition, stood ready to do her share to transform it into something even nobler when the time should come. Simplicity and worth and beauty—these elements at least of the older Republic should not perish, but in the end prevail.

When she put down her book, it was to talk, maybe, about Silliston. Established here before the birth of the Republic, its roots were grounded in the soil of a racial empire, to a larger vision of which Augusta Maturin clung: an empire of Anglo-Saxon tradition which, despite disagreements and conflicts—indeed, through them—developed gradually toward a greater union, based not on control, but on justice and fairness. She talked about the England she had visited on her wedding trip, the landmarks and literature that have also, through generations, been American birthrights; and about that righteous self-assertion and independence which, through protest and even war, America had contributed to the democracy of the future. Silliston, indifferent to sects and upheavals, undisturbed by the dark forces pushing westward to gather in deposits in other parts of the country, had held on to the old tradition, prepared to do its part to transform it into something even greater when the time came. Simplicity and worth and beauty—these elements at least of the older Republic should not fade away, but ultimately prevail.

She spoke simply of these things, connecting them with a Silliston whose spirit appealed to all that was inherent and abiding in the girl. All was not chaos: here at least, a beacon burned with a bright and steady flame. And she spoke of Andrew Silliston, the sturdy colonial prototype of the American culture, who had fought against his King, who had spent his modest fortune to found this seat of learning, believing as he did that education is the cornerstone of republics; divining that lasting unity is possible alone by the transformation of the individual into the citizen through voluntary bestowal of service and the fruits of labour. Samuel Wootton, the Boston merchant who had given the hospital, was Andrew's true descendant, imbued with the same half-conscious intuition that builds even better that it reeks. And Andrew, could he have returns to earth in his laced coat and long silk waistcoat, would still recognize his own soul in Silliston Academy, the soul of his creed and race.

She talked about these things in a straightforward way, linking them to a Silliston whose essence resonated with everything that was deep and lasting in the girl. Not everything was chaos; here, at least, a beacon shone with a bright and steady light. She talked about Andrew Silliston, the strong colonial model of American culture, who had stood up against his King, who had used his modest wealth to create this place of learning, believing that education is the foundation of republics; understanding that true unity can only happen through transforming individuals into citizens by willingly offering their service and the fruits of their labor. Samuel Wootton, the Boston merchant who donated the hospital, was Andrew's true successor, filled with the same instinct that creates even better than it realizes. And Andrew, if he could come back to earth in his laced coat and long silk waistcoat, would still see his own spirit in Silliston Academy, the essence of his beliefs and heritage.

       “Away down the river,
        A hundred miles or more,
        Other little children
        Shall bring my boats ashore.”...
       “Far down the river,
        A hundred miles or more,
        Other little kids
        Will bring my boats to shore.”...

Janet drew in a great breath, involuntarily. These were moments when it seemed that she could scarcely contain what she felt of beauty and significance, when the ecstasy and pain were not to be borne. And sometimes, as she listened to Mrs. Maturin's voice, she wept in silence. Again a strange peace descended on her, the peace of an exile come home; if not to remain, at least to know her own land and people before faring forth. She would not think of that faring yet awhile, but strive to live and taste the present—and yet as life flowed back into her veins that past arose to haunt her, she yearned to pour it out to her new friend, to confess all that had happened to her. Why couldn't she? But she was grateful because Mrs. Maturin betrayed no curiosity. Janet often lay watching her, puzzled, under the spell of a frankness, an ingenuousness, a simplicity she had least expected to find in one who belonged to such a learned place as that of Silliston. But even learning, she was discovering, could be amazingly simple. Freely and naturally Mrs. Maturin dwelt on her own past, on the little girl of six taken from her the year after her husband died, on her husband himself, once a professor here, and who, just before his last illness, had published a brilliant book on Russian literature which resulted in his being called to Harvard. They had gone to Switzerland instead, and Augusta Maturin had come back to Silliston. She told Janet of the loon-haunted lake, hemmed in by the Laurentian hills, besieged by forests, where she had spent her girlhood summers with her father, Professor Wishart, of the University of Toronto. There, in search of health, Gifford Maturin had come at her father's suggestion to camp.

Janet took a deep breath, almost instinctively. There were moments when it felt like she could hardly hold in all the beauty and meaning she experienced, when the joy and pain were overwhelming. Sometimes, as she listened to Mrs. Maturin's voice, she cried quietly. Then a strange sense of peace would wash over her, the peace of someone returning home after a long absence; even if it wasn’t for a permanent stay, at least she would see her own homeland and people before moving on. She wouldn’t think about that departure just yet; instead, she wanted to fully live in and embrace the present. But as life flowed back into her, her past resurfaced, and she felt a strong urge to share everything with her new friend, to confess what she had been through. Why couldn’t she? Still, she felt thankful that Mrs. Maturin showed no curiosity. Janet often found herself watching her, confused yet captivated by a frankness, a sincerity, a simplicity she hadn’t expected from someone affiliated with such an academic place as Silliston. But she was realizing that even knowledge could be surprisingly straightforward. Mrs. Maturin openly talked about her own past, about the little girl of six who had been taken from her the year after her husband died, about her husband himself, who had once been a professor there and had, just before he fell ill, published a remarkable book on Russian literature that led him to be invited to Harvard. Instead, they had gone to Switzerland, and Augusta Maturin returned to Silliston. She shared with Janet stories about the lake haunted by loons, surrounded by the Laurentian hills, engulfed by forests, where she had spent her childhood summers with her father, Professor Wishart from the University of Toronto. It was there, on her father’s advice, that Gifford Maturin went camping in search of better health.

Janet, of course, could not know all of that romance, though she tried to picture it from what her friend told her. Augusta Wishart, at six and twenty, had been one of those magnificent Canadian women who are most at home in the open; she could have carried Gifford Maturinout of the wilderness on her back. She was five feet seven, modelled in proportion, endowed by some Celtic ancestor with that dark chestnut hair which, because of its abundance, she wore braided and caught up in a heavy knot behind her head. Tanned by the northern sun, kneeling upright in a canoe, she might at a little distance have been mistaken for one of the race to which the forests and waters had once belonged. The instinct of mothering was strong in her, and from the beginning she had taken the shy and delicate student under her wing, recognizing in him one of the physically helpless dedicated to a supreme function. He was forever catching colds, his food disagreed with him, and on her own initiative she discharged his habitant cook and supplied him with one of her own choosing. When overtaken by one of his indispositions she paddled him about the lake with lusty strokes, first placing a blanket over his knees, and he submitted: he had no pride of that sort, he was utterly indifferent to the figure he cut beside his Amazon. His gentleness of disposition, his brilliant conversations with those whom, like her father, he knew and trusted, captivated Augusta. At this period of her life she was awakening to the glories of literature and taking a special course in that branch. He talked to her of Gogol, Turgenief, and Dostoievsky, and seated on the log piazza read in excellent French “Dead Souls,” “Peres et Enfants,” and “The Brothers Karamazoff.” At the end of August he went homeward almost gaily, quite ignorant of the arrow in his heart, until he began to miss Augusta Wishart's ministrations—and Augusta Wishart herself.... Then had followed that too brief period of intensive happiness....

Janet, of course, couldn't know all of that romance, though she tried to imagine it from what her friend told her. Augusta Wishart, at twenty-six, was one of those amazing Canadian women who thrived outdoors; she could have carried Gifford Maturin out of the wilderness on her back. She was five feet seven, well-proportioned, and had inherited from some Celtic ancestor her thick dark chestnut hair, which she wore braided and pulled into a heavy knot at the back of her head. Tanned by the northern sun, kneeling upright in a canoe, she might have been mistaken for one of the people to whom the forests and waters once belonged. She had a strong nurturing instinct, and from the start, she took the shy and delicate student under her wing, recognizing in him someone who was physically helpless yet dedicated to a higher purpose. He was always catching colds, his food didn’t agree with him, and on her own initiative, she let go of his habitant cook and provided him with one of her own choosing. When he fell sick, she paddled him around the lake with strong strokes, first putting a blanket over his knees, and he accepted it: he had no pride of that sort, and he was completely indifferent to how he looked beside his Amazon. His gentle nature and brilliant conversations with those he knew and trusted, like her father, captivated Augusta. At this point in her life, she was discovering the wonders of literature and was taking a special course in that area. He talked to her about Gogol, Turgenev, and Dostoevsky, and while seated on the log piazza, he read in excellent French “Dead Souls,” “Fathers and Sons,” and “The Brothers Karamazov.” By the end of August, he headed home almost cheerfully, completely unaware of the arrow in his heart until he started to miss Augusta Wishart's caring presence—and Augusta Wishart herself... Then came that too brief period of intense happiness...

The idea of remarriage had never occurred to her. At eight and thirty, though tragedy had left its mark, it had been powerless to destroy the sweetness of a nature of such vitality as hers. The innate necessity of loving remained, and as time went on had grown more wistful and insistent. Insall and her Silliston neighbours were wont, indeed, gently to rally her on her enthusiasms, while understanding and sympathizing with this need in her. A creature of intuition, Janet had appealed to her from the beginning, arousing first her curiosity, and then the maternal instinct that craved a mind to mould, a soul to respond to her touch....

The idea of remarriage had never crossed her mind. At thirty-eight, even though tragedy had left its mark, it hadn’t been able to erase the sweetness of her vibrant nature. The deep need to love remained, and as time passed, it had grown more yearning and urgent. Insall and her Silliston neighbors often playfully teased her about her passions, while also understanding and empathizing with this need she had. A person of intuition, Janet had drawn her in from the start, first sparking her curiosity, and then awakening the maternal instinct that longed for a mind to shape, a soul to respond to her influence....

Mrs. Maturin often talked to Janet of Insall, who had, in a way, long been connected with Silliston. In his early wandering days, when tramping over New England, he used unexpectedly to turn up at Dr. Ledyard's, the principal's, remain for several weeks and disappear again. Even then he, had been a sort of institution, a professor emeritus in botany, bird lore, and woodcraft, taking the boys on long walks through the neighbouring hills; and suddenly he had surprised everybody by fancying the tumble-down farmhouse in Judith's Lane, which he had restored with his own hands into the quaintest of old world dwellings. Behind it he had made a dam in the brook, and put in a water wheel that ran his workshop. In play hours the place was usually overrun by boys.... But sometimes the old craving for tramping would overtake him, one day his friends would find the house shut up, and he would be absent for a fortnight, perhaps for a month—one never knew when he was going, or when he would return. He went, like his hero, Silas Simpkins, through the byways of New England, stopping at night at the farm-houses, or often sleeping out under the stars. And then, perhaps, he would write another book. He wrote only when he felt like writing.

Mrs. Maturin often talked to Janet about Insall, who had been connected to Silliston for a long time. During his early wandering days, while exploring New England, he would unexpectedly show up at Dr. Ledyard's, the principal's, stay for several weeks, and then disappear again. Even back then, he was like a local institution, a professor emeritus in botany, bird knowledge, and woodcraft, taking the boys on long hikes through the nearby hills. Then he surprised everyone by taking an interest in the rundown farmhouse on Judith's Lane, which he restored by hand into the most charming old-world home. Behind it, he built a dam in the brook and set up a water wheel to power his workshop. During play hours, the place was usually packed with boys.... But sometimes, he would get the old urge to wander again, and one day his friends would find the house locked up, with him gone for either two weeks or maybe a month—no one ever knew when he’d leave or when he'd come back. He traveled, like his hero, Silas Simpkins, through the backroads of New England, staying overnight at farmhouses or often sleeping under the stars. And then, he might write another book. He only wrote when he felt inspired.

It was this book of Insall's, “The Travels of Silas Simpkins”, rather than his “Epworth Green” or “The Hermit of Blue Mountain,” that Mrs. Maturin chose to read to Janet. Unlike the sage of Walden, than whom he was more gregarious, instead of a log house for his castle Silas Simpkins chose a cart, which he drove in a most leisurely manner from the sea to the mountains, penetrating even to hamlets beside the silent lakes on the Canadian border, and then went back to the sea again. Two chunky grey horses with wide foreheads and sagacious eyes propelled him at the rate of three miles an hour; for these, as their master, had learned the lesson that if life is to be fully savoured it is not to be bolted. Silas cooked and ate, and sometimes read under the maples beside the stone walls: usually he slept in the cart in the midst of the assortment of goods that proclaimed him, to the astute, an expert in applied psychology. At first you might have thought Silos merely a peddler, but if you knew your Thoreau you would presently begin to perceive that peddling was the paltry price he paid for liberty. Silos was in a way a sage—but such a human sage! He never intruded with theories, he never even hinted at the folly of the mortals who bought or despised his goods, or with whom he chatted by the wayside, though he may have had his ideas on the subject: it is certain that presently one began to have one's own: nor did he exclaim with George Sand, “Il n'y a rien de plus betement mechant que l'habitant des petites villes!” Somehow the meannesses and jealousies were accounted for, if not excused. To understand is to pardon.

It was Insall's book, “The Travels of Silas Simpkins,” rather than his “Epworth Green” or “The Hermit of Blue Mountain,” that Mrs. Maturin decided to read to Janet. Unlike the sage of Walden, who was more reclusive, Silas Simpkins chose a cart as his home instead of a log cabin. He drove it in a leisurely manner from the sea to the mountains, even reaching small villages next to the peaceful lakes along the Canadian border before returning to the sea. Two sturdy grey horses with broad foreheads and wise eyes pulled him at a pace of three miles an hour; like their owner, they had learned that to truly enjoy life, it shouldn't be rushed. Silas cooked and ate, and sometimes read under the maple trees near the stone walls; he typically slept in the cart surrounded by an assortment of goods that would signal to the observant that he was an expert in applied psychology. At first, you might have thought Silas was just a peddler, but if you knew Thoreau, you would quickly realize that peddling was a small price to pay for freedom. Silas was, in a way, a sage—but a very human one! He never forced his theories on anyone, and he never hinted at the foolishness of the people who bought or looked down on his goods, or those he chatted with by the roadside, even if he had his own opinions on the matter: it's certain that eventually, one would start to form their own. Nor did he exclaim with George Sand, “There’s nothing more stupidly mean than the inhabitants of small towns!” Somehow, the meanness and jealousy were understood, if not justified. To understand is to forgive.

It was so like Insall, this book, in its whimsicality, in its feeling of space and freedom, in its hidden wisdom that gradually revealed itself as one thought it over before falling off to sleep! New England in the early summer! Here, beside the tender greens of the Ipswich downs was the sparkling cobalt of the sea, and she could almost smell its cool salt breath mingling with the warm odours of hay and the pungent scents of roadside flowers. Weathered grey cottages were scattered over the landscape, and dark copses of cedars, while oceanward the eye was caught by the gleam of a lighthouse or a lonely sail.

It was so much like Insall, this book, with its playful nature, sense of space and freedom, and its hidden wisdom that gradually became clear as you thought about it before drifting off to sleep! New England in early summer! Here, next to the soft greens of the Ipswich hills was the sparkling blue of the sea, and she could almost smell its cool salt air mixing with the warm scents of hay and the strong fragrances of wildflowers along the road. Weathered gray cottages were scattered across the landscape, and dark patches of cedar trees, while towards the ocean, the eye was drawn to the shine of a lighthouse or a solitary sail.

Even in that sandy plain, covered with sickly, stunted pines and burned patches, stretching westward from the Merrimac, Silas saw beauty and colour, life in the once prosperous houses not yet abandoned.... Presently, the hills, all hyacinth blue, rise up against the sunset, and the horses' feet are on the “Boston Road”—or rud, according to the authorized pronunciation of that land. Hardly, indeed, in many places, a “rud” to-day, reverting picturesquely into the forest trail over which the early inland settlers rode their horses or drove their oxen with upcountry produce to the sea. They were not a people who sought the easiest way, and the Boston Road reflects their characters: few valleys are deep enough to turn it aside; few mountains can appal it: railroads have given it a wide berth. Here and there the forest opens out to reveal, on a knoll or “flat,” a forgotten village or tavern-stand. Over the high shelf of Washington Town it runs where the air is keen and the lakes are blue, where long-stemmed wild flowers nod on its sunny banks, to reach at length the rounded, classic hills and sentinel mountain that mark the sheep country of the Connecticut....

Even in that sandy plain, filled with sickly, stunted pines and burnt patches, stretching westward from the Merrimac, Silas saw beauty and color, life in the once prosperous houses that hadn’t yet been abandoned.... Soon, the hills, all hyacinth blue, rise up against the sunset, and the horses' feet are on the “Boston Road”—or “rud,” as it's properly pronounced in that area. Nowadays, hardly any of it is truly a “rud,” as it reverts charmingly into the forest trail that the early inland settlers used when they rode their horses or drove their oxen with goods from the countryside to the sea. They weren't the type of people who took the easy route, and the Boston Road reflects their character: few valleys are deep enough to divert it; few mountains can intimidate it: railroads have given it a wide berth. Here and there, the forest opens up to show a forgotten village or tavern-stand on a knoll or “flat.” It runs over the high shelf of Washington Town, where the air is sharp and the lakes are blue, where long-stemmed wildflowers sway on its sunny banks, until it finally reaches the rounded, classic hills and watchful mountain that define the sheep country of Connecticut....

It was before Janet's convalescence began that Mrs. Maturin had consulted Insall concerning her proposed experiment in literature. Afterwards he had left Silliston for a lumber camp on a remote river in northern Maine, abruptly to reappear, on a mild afternoon late in April, in Augusta Maturin's garden. The crocuses and tulips were in bloom, and his friend, in a gardening apron, was on her knees, trowel in hand, assisting a hired man to set out marigolds and snapdragons.

It was before Janet's recovery started that Mrs. Maturin had talked to Insall about her planned experiment in writing. Later, he had left Silliston for a lumber camp by a remote river in northern Maine, only to suddenly reappear on a warm afternoon in late April, in Augusta Maturin's garden. The crocuses and tulips were blooming, and her friend, wearing a gardening apron, was on her knees with a trowel in hand, helping a worker plant marigolds and snapdragons.

“Well, it's time you were home again,” she exclaimed, as she rose to greet him and led him to a chair on the little flagged terrace beside the windows of her library. “I've got so much to tell you about our invalid.”

“Well, it's time for you to be home again,” she said, as she stood up to greet him and led him to a chair on the small stone terrace by the windows of her library. “I've got so much to share with you about our invalid.”

“Our invalid!” Insall retorted.

"Our disabled person!" Insall retorted.

“Of course. I look to you to divide the responsibility with me, and you've shirked by running off to Maine. You found her, you know—and she's really remarkable.”

“Of course. I expect you to share the responsibility with me, and you’ve avoided it by running off to Maine. You found her, you know—and she’s truly amazing.”

“Now see here, Augusta, you can't expect me to share the guardianship of an attractive and—well, a dynamic young woman. If she affects you this way, what will she do to me? I'm much too susceptible.”

“Now look, Augusta, you can't expect me to co-guardian an attractive and—well, a dynamic young woman. If she affects you like this, what will she do to me? I'm way too susceptible.”

“Susceptible” she scoffed. “But you can't get out of it. I need you. I've never been so interested and so perplexed in my life.”

“Susceptible?” she scoffed. “But you can't avoid it. I need you. I've never been this interested and confused in my life.”

“How is she?” Insall asked.

“How's she doing?” Insall asked.

“Frankly, I'm worried,” said Mrs. Maturin. “At first she seemed to be getting along beautifully. I read to her, a little every day, and it was wonderful how she responded to it. I'll tell you about that I've got so much to tell you! Young Dr. Trent is puzzled, too, it seems there are symptoms in the case for which he cannot account. Some three weeks ago he asked me what I made out of her, and I can't make anything—that's the trouble, except that she seems pathetically grateful, and that I've grown absurdly fond of her. But she isn't improving as fast as she should, and Dr. Trent doesn't know whether or not to suspect functional complications. Her constitution seems excellent, her vitality unusual. Trent's impressed by her, he inclines to the theory that she has something on her mind, and if this is so she should get rid of it, tell it to somebody—in short, tell it to me. I know she's fond of me, but she's so maddeningly self-contained, and at moments when I look at her she baffles me, she makes me feel like an atom. Twenty times at least I've almost screwed up my courage to ask her, but when it comes to the point, I simply can't do it.”

“Honestly, I'm worried,” said Mrs. Maturin. “At first, she seemed to be doing beautifully. I read to her a little every day, and it was amazing how she responded. I've got so much to tell you! Young Dr. Trent is puzzled too; there are symptoms in her case that he can't explain. About three weeks ago, he asked me what I thought of her, and I can't figure it out—that's the problem. The only thing I know is that she seems really grateful, and I've become absurdly fond of her. But she isn't getting better as quickly as she should, and Dr. Trent is unsure whether to suspect any underlying issues. Her health seems great, and her energy is unusual. Trent is impressed by her and thinks she might have something on her mind, and if that's the case, she needs to talk about it—with someone—in short, she should talk to me. I know she's fond of me, but she's so annoyingly closed off, and there are moments when I look at her, and she leaves me baffled, making me feel insignificant. Twenty times at least, I've almost mustered the courage to ask her, but when the moment comes, I just can't do it.”

“You ought to be able to get at it, if any one can,” said Insall.

"You should be able to figure it out, if anyone can," said Insall.

“I've a notion it may be connected with the strike,” Augusta Maturin continued. “I never could account for her being mixed up in that, plunging into Syndicalism. It seemed so foreign to her nature. I wish I'd waited a little longer before telling her about the strike, but one day she asked me how it had come out—and she seemed to be getting along so nicely I didn't see any reason for not telling her. I said that the strike was over, that the millowners had accepted the I.W.W. terms, but that Antonelli and Jastro had been sent to jail and were awaiting trial because they had been accused of instigating the murder of a woman who was shot by a striker aiming at a policeman. It seems that she had seen that! She told me so quite casually. But she was interested, and I went on to mention how greatly the strikers were stirred by the arrests, how they paraded in front of the jail, singing, and how the feeling was mostly directed against Mr. Ditmar, because he was accused of instigating the placing of dynamite in the tenements.”

“I have a feeling it might be related to the strike,” Augusta Maturin continued. “I never understood why she got involved in that, diving into Syndicalism. It seemed so out of character for her. I wish I had waited a bit longer before mentioning the strike to her, but one day she asked me how it had ended—and she seemed to be doing so well that I didn’t think there was any reason not to tell her. I said the strike was over, that the mill owners had accepted the I.W.W. terms, but that Antonelli and Jastro were in jail awaiting trial because they were accused of instigating the murder of a woman who got shot by a striker aiming at a policeman. Apparently, she had witnessed it! She told me that so casually. But she was interested, and I went on to mention how upset the strikers were about the arrests, how they marched in front of the jail, singing, and how most of the anger was directed at Mr. Ditmar because he was accused of having planted the dynamite in the tenements.”

“And you spoke of Mr. Ditmar's death?” Insall inquired.

“And you mentioned Mr. Ditmar's death?” Insall asked.

“Why yes, I told her how he had been shot in Dover Street by a demented Italian, and if it hadn't been proved that the Italian was insane and not a mill worker, the result of the strike might have been different.”

“Of course, I told her how he had been shot on Dover Street by a crazy Italian, and if it hadn’t been shown that the Italian was insane and not a factory worker, the outcome of the strike might have been different.”

“How did she take it?”

“How did she respond?”

“Well, she was shocked, of course. She sat up in bed, staring at me, and then leaned back on the pillows again. I pretended not to notice it—but I was sorry I'd said anything about it.”

"Well, she was definitely taken aback. She sat up in bed, looking at me, and then leaned back on the pillows again. I acted like I didn't notice it—but I regretted bringing it up."

“She didn't say anything?”

"She didn't say anything?"

“Not a word.”

"Not a peep."

“Didn't you know that, before the strike, she was Ditmar's private stenographer?”

“Didn’t you know that, before the strike, she was Ditmar’s personal stenographer?”

“No!” Augusta Maturin exclaimed. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“No!” Augusta Maturin said. “Why didn't you let me know?”

“It never occurred to me to tell you,” Insall replied.

“It never crossed my mind to tell you,” Insall replied.

“That must have something to do with it!” said Mrs. Maturin.

"That has to be related!" said Mrs. Maturin.

Insall got up and walked to the end of the terrace, gazing at a bluebird on the edge of the lawn.

Insall stood up and walked to the end of the terrace, watching a bluebird on the edge of the lawn.

“Well, not necessarily,” he said, after a while. “Did you ever find out anything about her family?”

“Well, not really,” he said after a moment. “Did you ever learn anything about her family?”

“Oh, yes, I met the father once, he's been out two or three times, on Sunday, and came over here to thank me for what I'd done. The mother doesn't come—she has some trouble, I don't know exactly what. Brooks, I wish you could see the father, he's so typically unique—if one may use the expression. A gatekeeper at the Chippering Mills!”

“Oh, yes, I met the dad once. He’s been over two or three times on Sunday to thank me for what I did. The mom doesn’t come—she has some issues, I’m not sure what exactly. Brooks, I wish you could see the dad, he’s so uniquely typical—if that makes sense. A gatekeeper at the Chippering Mills!”

“A gatekeeper?”

"A gatekeeper?"

“Yes, and I'm quite sure he doesn't understand to this day how he became one, or why. He's delightfully naive on the subject of genealogy, and I had the Bumpus family by heart before he left. That's the form his remnant of the intellectual curiosity of his ancestors takes. He was born in Dolton, which was settled by the original Bumpus, back in the Plymouth Colony days, and if he were rich he'd have a library stuffed with gritty, yellow-backed books and be a leading light in the Historical Society. He speaks with that nicety of pronunciation of the old New Englander, never slurring his syllables, and he has a really fine face, the kind of face one doesn't often see nowadays. I kept looking at it, wondering what was the matter with it, and at last I realized what it lacked—will, desire, ambition,—it was what a second-rate sculptor might have made of Bradford, for instance. But there is a remnant of fire in him. Once, when he spoke of the strike, of the foreigners, he grew quite indignant.”

“Yes, and I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t understand how he became one, or why. He’s charmingly clueless about genealogy, and I knew the Bumpus family inside and out before he left. That’s how the leftover spark of his ancestors' intellectual curiosity shows up. He was born in Dolton, which was founded by the original Bumpus, back in the days of the Plymouth Colony, and if he were wealthy, he’d have a library filled with gritty, old books and be a prominent member of the Historical Society. He speaks with that precise accent of the old New Englander, never slurring his words, and he has a really impressive face, the kind you don’t see often these days. I kept staring at it, trying to figure out what was off about it, and finally, I realized what it lacked—will, desire, ambition—it was what a mediocre sculptor might have created of Bradford, for example. But there’s a bit of fire in him. Once, when he talked about the strike and the immigrants, he got pretty indignant.”

“He didn't tell you why his daughter had joined the strikers?” Insall asked.

“He didn't tell you why his daughter joined the strikers?” Insall asked.

“He was just as much at sea about that as you and I are. Of course I didn't ask him—he asked me if I knew. It's only another proof of her amazing reticence. And I can imagine an utter absence of sympathy between them. He accounts for her, of course; he's probably the unconscious transmitter of qualities the Puritans possessed and tried to smother. Certainly the fires are alight in her, and yet it's almost incredible that he should have conveyed them. Of course I haven't seen the mother.”

“He was just as confused about that as you and I are. Of course, I didn’t ask him—he asked me if I knew. It’s just another proof of her incredible silence. And I can picture a complete lack of understanding between them. He explains her, of course; he’s probably the unintentional carrier of traits that the Puritans had and tried to suppress. The passion is definitely there in her, and yet it’s almost unbelievable that he could have passed it on. Of course, I haven’t seen the mother.”

“It's curious he didn't mention her having been Ditmar's stenographer,” Insall put in. “Was that reticence?”

“It's strange he didn't bring up that she used to be Ditmar's stenographer,” Insall chimed in. “Was that hesitation?”

“I hardly think so,” Augusta Maturin replied. “It may have been, but the impression I got was of an incapacity to feel the present. All his emotions are in the past, most of his conversation was about Bumpuses who are dead and buried, and his pride in Janet—for he has a pride—seems to exist because she is their representative. It's extraordinary, but he sees her present situation, her future, with extraordinary optimism; he apparently regards her coming to Silliston, even in the condition in which we found her, as a piece of deserved fortune for which she has to thank some virtue inherited from her ancestors! Well, perhaps he's right. If she were not unique, I shouldn't want to keep her here. It's pure selfishness. I told Mr. Bumpus I expected to find work for her.”

“I don't think so,” Augusta Maturin replied. “It might have been, but I got the sense that he can't really engage with the present. All his feelings are stuck in the past, and most of his conversations are about the Bumpuses who are long gone. His pride in Janet—because he does take pride in her—seems to stem from the fact that she represents their family. It's remarkable how he views her current situation and future with such optimism; he seems to think that her coming to Silliston, even in the state we found her, is some kind of well-deserved luck she owes to a virtue passed down from her ancestors! Well, maybe he's right. If she weren't so unique, I wouldn't want to keep her around. It's just pure selfishness. I told Mr. Bumpus I expected to find work for her.”

Mrs. Maturin returned Insall's smile. “I suppose you're too polite to say that I'm carried away by my enthusiasms. But you will at least do me the justice to admit that they are rare and—discriminating, as a connoisseur's should be. I think even you will approve of her.”

Mrs. Maturin smiled back at Insall. “I guess you’re too polite to say that I get carried away by my passions. But you’ll at least acknowledge that they are rare and—discerning, like a connoisseur's should be. I think even you will approve of her.”

“Oh, I have approved of her—that's the trouble.”

“Oh, I’ve approved of her—that’s the issue.”

Mrs. Maturin regarded him for a moment in silence.

Mrs. Maturin looked at him silently for a moment.

“I wish you could have seen her when I began to read those verses of Stevenson's. It was an inspirations your thinking of them.”

“I wish you could have seen her when I started reading those lines from Stevenson. It was inspiring that you thought of them.”

“Did I think of them?”

"Did I think about them?"

“You know you did. You can't escape your responsibility. Well, I felt like—like a gambler, as though I were staking everything on a throw. And, after I began, as if I were playing on some rare instrument. She lay there, listening, without uttering a word, but somehow she seemed to be interpreting them for me, giving them a meaning and a beauty I hadn't imagined. Another time I told her about Silliston, and how this little community for over a century and a half had tried to keep its standard flying, to carry on the work begun by old Andrew, and I thought of those lines,

“You know you did. You can't escape your responsibility. Well, I felt like a gambler, as if I were betting everything on a roll. And, once I started, it was like I was playing some rare instrument. She lay there, listening, without saying a word, but somehow it felt like she was interpreting them for me, giving them a meaning and a beauty I hadn’t imagined. Another time I told her about Silliston and how this little community had tried to uphold its standards for over a century and a half, carrying on the work that old Andrew had begun, and I thought of those lines,

       “Other little children
        Shall bring my boats ashore.”
 
“Other little kids will bring my boats to the shore.”

That particular application just suddenly, occurred to me, but she inspired it.”

That specific idea just suddenly popped into my head, but she inspired it.

“You're a born schoolma'am,” Insall laughed.

“You're a natural born teacher,” Insall laughed.

“I'm much too radical for a schoolmam,” she declared. “No board of trustees would put up with me—not even Silliston's! We've kept the faith, but we do move slowly, Brooks. Even tradition grows, and sometimes our blindness here to changes, to modern, scientific facts, fairly maddens me. I read her that poem of Moody's—you know it:—

“I'm way too radical for a teacher,” she said. “No board of trustees would put up with me—not even Silliston's! We’ve held onto tradition, but we’re moving at a snail's pace, Brooks. Even tradition evolves, and sometimes our unwillingness to accept changes, to modern, scientific facts, drives me insane. I read her that poem by Moody—you know it:—

       'Here, where the moors stretch free
        In the high blue afternoon,
        Are the marching sun and the talking sea.'
'Here, where the moors extend endlessly  
In the bright blue afternoon,  
Are the shining sun and the whispering sea.'

and those last lines:—

and those final lines:—

       'But thou, vast outbound ship of souls,
        What harbour town for thee?
        What shapes, when thy arriving tolls,
        Shall crowd the banks to see?
        Shall all the happy shipmates then
        Stand singing brotherly?
        Or shall a haggard, ruthless few
        Warp her over and bring her to,
        While the many broken souls of me
        Fester down in the slaver's pen,
        And nothing to say or do?'”
 
       'But you, huge outbound ship of souls,  
        What port will you find?  
        What figures, when your arrival rings,  
        Will crowd the banks to see?  
        Will all the happy shipmates then  
        Stand singing together as brothers?  
        Or will a weary, ruthless few  
        Steer her away and bring her in,  
        While the many broken souls like me  
        Rot in the slaver's pen,  
        With nothing to say or do?'”

“I was sorry afterwards, I could see that she was tremendously excited. And she made me feel as if I, too, had been battened down in that hold and bruised and almost strangled. I often wonder whether she has got out of it into the light—whether we can rescue her.” Mrs. Maturin paused.

“I felt regret afterwards; I could tell she was incredibly excited. She made me feel like I had been trapped in that hold, bruised and nearly suffocated. I often wonder if she has found her way out into the light—if we can help her.” Mrs. Maturin paused.

“What do you mean?” Insall asked.

“What do you mean?” Insall asked.

“Well, it's difficult to describe, what I feel—she's such a perplexing mixture of old New England and modernity, of a fatalism, and an aliveness that fairly vibrates. At first, when she began to recover, I was conscious only of the vitality—but lately I feel the other quality. It isn't exactly the old Puritan fatalism, or even the Greek, it's oddly modern, too, almost agnostic, I should say,—a calm acceptance of the hazards of life, of nature, of sun and rain and storm alike—very different from the cheap optimism one finds everywhere now. She isn't exactly resigned—I don't say that—I know she can be rebellious. And she's grateful for the sun, yet she seems to have a conviction that the clouds will gather again.... The doctor says she may leave the hospital on Monday, and I'm going to bring her over here for awhile. Then,” she added insinuatingly, “we can collaborate.”

“Well, it’s tough to explain how I feel—she’s such a confusing mix of old New England and modern life, with this blend of fatalism and a vibrant aliveness. At first, when she started to recover, I only noticed the energy—but recently, I’ve sensed that other aspect. It’s not exactly the old Puritan fatalism or even the Greek kind; it’s strangely modern, almost agnostic, I’d say—a calm acceptance of life’s uncertainties, of nature, sun, rain, and storms alike—very different from the cheap optimism you find everywhere now. She’s not exactly resigned—I wouldn’t say that—I know she can be rebellious. And she appreciates the sun, yet there’s this sense she believes the clouds will roll in again... The doctor says she might be able to leave the hospital on Monday, and I’m going to bring her over here for a while. Then,” she added suggestively, “we can collaborate.”

“I think I'll go back to Maine,” Insall exclaimed.

“I think I'm going to head back to Maine,” Insall exclaimed.

“If you desert me, I shall never speak to you again,” said Mrs. Maturin.

“If you leave me, I will never talk to you again,” said Mrs. Maturin.

“Janet,” said Mrs. Maturin the next day, as she laid down the book from which she was reading, “do you remember that I spoke to you once in Hampton of coming here to Silliston? Well, now we've got you here, we don't want to lose you. I've been making inquiries; quite a number of the professors have typewriting to be done, and they will be glad to give their manuscripts to you instead of sending them to Boston. And there's Brooks Insall too—if he ever takes it into his head to write another book. You wouldn't have any trouble reading his manuscript, it's like script. Of course it has to be copied. You can board with Mrs. Case—I've arranged that, too. But on Monday I'm going to take you to my house, and keep you until you're strong enough to walk.”

“Janet,” Mrs. Maturin said the next day as she set down the book she had been reading, “do you remember when I mentioned coming here to Silliston back in Hampton? Now that we have you here, we definitely don’t want to lose you. I’ve been asking around; several professors need typing done, and they’d be happy to give their manuscripts to you instead of sending them to Boston. And there’s Brooks Insall too—if he ever decides to write another book. You won’t have any trouble reading his manuscript; it’s nearly like print. Of course, it will need to be typed up. You can stay with Mrs. Case—I’ve taken care of that too. But on Monday, I’m going to bring you to my house and keep you there until you’re strong enough to walk.”

Janet's eyes were suddenly bright with tears.

Janet's eyes suddenly filled with tears.

“You'll stay?”

"Are you staying?"

“I can't,” answered Janet. “I couldn't.”

“I can't,” Janet replied. “I couldn't.”

“But why not? Have you any other plans?”

“But why not? Do you have any other plans?”

“No, I haven't any plans, but—I haven't the right to stay here.” Presently she raised her face to her friend. “Oh Mrs. Maturin, I'm so sorry! I didn't want to bring any sadness here—it's all so bright and beautiful! And now I've made you sad!”

“No, I don’t have any plans, but—I shouldn’t stay here.” Then she lifted her face to her friend. “Oh Mrs. Maturin, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bring any sadness here—it’s all so bright and beautiful! And now I’ve made you sad!”

It was a moment before Augusta Maturin could answer her.

It took a moment for Augusta Maturin to respond to her.

“What are friends for, Janet,” she asked, “if not to share sorrow with? And do you suppose there's any place, however bright, where sorrow has not come? Do you think I've not known it, too? And Janet, I haven't sat here all these days with you without guessing that something worries you. I've been waiting, all this time, for you to tell me, in order that I might help you.”

“What are friends for, Janet,” she asked, “if not to share in each other’s sadness? Do you really think there’s any place, no matter how bright, that hasn’t felt sorrow? Do you think I haven’t experienced it, too? And Janet, I haven’t been sitting here with you all these days without sensing that something is bothering you. I’ve been waiting for you to share it with me so I can help you.”

“I wanted to,” said Janet, “every day I wanted to, but I couldn't. I couldn't bear to trouble you with it, I didn't mean ever to tell you. And then—it's so terrible, I don't know what you'll think.”

“I wanted to,” said Janet, “every day I wanted to, but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to burden you with it; I never intended to tell you. And then—it's so awful, I don't know what you'll think.”

“I think I know you, Janet,” answered Mrs. Maturin. “Nothing human, nothing natural is terrible, in the sense you mean. At least I'm one of those who believe so.”

“I think I know you, Janet,” replied Mrs. Maturin. “Nothing human, nothing natural is truly terrible in the way you mean. At least, that’s how I see it.”

Presently Janet said, “I'm going to have a child.”

Presently, Janet said, “I’m going to have a baby.”

Mrs. Maturin sat very still. Something closed in her throat, preventing her immediate reply.

Mrs. Maturin sat very still. Something choked her up, stopping her from responding right away.

“I, too, had a child, my dear,” she answered. “I lost her.” She felt the girl's clasp tighten on her fingers.

“I had a child, too, my dear,” she replied. “I lost her.” She felt the girl’s grip tighten on her fingers.

“But you—you had a right to it—you were married. Children are sacred things,” said Augusta Maturin.

“But you—you had a right to it—you were married. Children are sacred things,” said Augusta Maturin.

“Sacred! Could it be that a woman like Mrs. Maturity thought that this child which was coming to her was sacred, too?

“Sacred! Could it be that a woman like Mrs. Maturity believed this child that was coming to her was sacred as well?

“However they come?” asked Janet. “Oh, I tried to believe that, too! At first—at first I didn't want it, and when I knew it was coming I was driven almost crazy. And then, all at once, when I was walking in the rain, I knew I wanted it to have—to keep all to myself. You understand?”

“However they come?” asked Janet. “Oh, I tried to believe that too! At first—at first I didn’t want it, and when I realized it was coming, I was nearly driven crazy. And then, all of a sudden, when I was walking in the rain, I knew I wanted it—to keep it all to myself. You understand?”

Augusta Maturity inclined her head.

Augusta Maturity nodded.

“But the father?” she managed to ask, after a moment. “I don't wish to pry, my dear, but does he—does he realize? Can't he help you?”

“But what about your dad?” she finally asked after a moment. “I don't want to intrude, my dear, but does he—does he know? Can't he support you?”

“It was Mr. Ditmar.”

“It was Mr. Ditmar.”

“Perhaps it will help you to tell me about it, Janet.”

“Maybe it will help if you tell me about it, Janet.”

“I'd—I'd like to. I've been so unhappy since you told me he was dead—and I felt like a cheat. You see, he promised to marry me, and I know now that he loved me, that he really wanted to marry me, but something happened to make me believe he wasn't going to, I saw—another girl who'd got into trouble, and then I thought he'd only been playing with me, and I couldn't stand it. I joined the strikers—I just had to do something.”

“I want to. I've been really unhappy since you told me he was dead—and I felt like a fraud. You see, he promised to marry me, and I know now that he loved me, that he truly wanted to marry me, but something happened that made me believe he wasn't going to. I saw another girl who had gotten into trouble, and then I thought he was just messing with me, and I couldn't handle it. I joined the strikers—I just had to do something.”

Augusta Maturity nodded, and waited.

Augusta Maturity nodded and waited.

“I was only a stenographer, and we were very poor, and he was rich and lived in a big house, the most important man in Hampton. It seemed too good to be true—I suppose I never really thought it could happen. Please don't think I'm putting all the blame on him, Mrs. Maturity—it was my fault just as much as his. I ought to have gone away from Hampton, but I didn't have the strength. And I shouldn't have—” Janet stopped.

“I was just a typist, and we were really struggling financially, while he was wealthy and lived in a big house, the most important guy in Hampton. It felt too good to be real—I guess I never truly believed it could happen. Please don't think I'm blaming everything on him, Mrs. Maturity—it was just as much my fault as his. I should have left Hampton, but I didn't have the strength. And I shouldn't have—” Janet stopped.

“But—you loved him?”

“But—did you love him?”

“Yes, I did. For a long time, after I left him, I thought I didn't, I thought I hated him, and when I found out what had happened to me—that night I came to you—I got my father's pistol and went to the mill to shoot him. I was going to shoot myself, too.”

“Yes, I did. For a long time, after I left him, I thought I didn’t, I thought I hated him. But when I found out what had happened to me—that night I came to you—I grabbed my father’s pistol and went to the mill to shoot him. I was going to shoot myself, too.”

“Oh!” Mrs. Maturity gasped. She gave a quick glance of sheer amazement at Janet, who did not seem to notice it; who was speaking objectively, apparently with no sense of the drama in her announcement.

“Oh!” Mrs. Maturity exclaimed. She shot a quick look of pure astonishment at Janet, who didn’t seem to notice; she was speaking matter-of-factly, seemingly unaware of the gravity of her announcement.

“But I couldn't,” she went on. “At the time I didn't know why I couldn't, but when I went out I understood it was because I wanted the child, because it was his child. And though he was almost out of his head, he seemed so glad because I'd come back to him, and said he'd marry me right away.”

“But I couldn’t,” she continued. “Back then, I didn’t really understand why I couldn’t. But when I stepped outside, I realized it was because I wanted the child, because it was his child. And even though he was almost out of his mind, he looked so happy that I had returned to him and said he’d marry me right away.”

“And you refused!” exclaimed Mrs. Maturity.

“And you refused!” shouted Mrs. Maturity.

“Well, you see, I was out of my head, too, I still thought I hated him—but I'd loved him all the time. It was funny! He had lots of faults, and he didn't seem to understand or care much about how poor people feel, though he was kind to them in the mills. He might have come to understand—I don't know—it wasn't because he didn't want to, but because he was so separated from them, I guess, and he was so interested in what he was doing. He had ambition, he thought everything of that mill, he'd made it. I don't know why I loved him, it wasn't because he was fine, like Mr. Insall, but he was strong and brave, and he needed me and just took me.”

“Well, you see, I was also a bit out of it; I still thought I hated him—but I had loved him all along. It was strange! He had a lot of flaws, and he didn't seem to get or care much about how poor people felt, even though he was nice to them in the mills. He could have come to understand—I don’t know—it wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but he was so separated from them, I guess, and he was so focused on what he was doing. He had ambition; he valued that mill, he had built it. I don’t know why I loved him; it wasn’t because he was refined like Mr. Insall, but he was strong and brave, and he needed me and just took me.”

“One never knows!” Augusta Maturity murmured.

“One never knows!” Augusta Maturity said softly.

“I went back that night to tell him I'd marry him—and he'd gone. Then I came to you, to the soup kitchen. I didn't mean to bother you, I've never quite understood how I got there. I don't care so much what happens to me, now that I've told you,” Janet added. “It was mean, not to tell you, but I'd never had anything like this—what you were giving me—and I wanted all I could get.”

“I went back that night to tell him I’d marry him—and he was gone. So I came to you, to the soup kitchen. I didn’t mean to bother you, and I’ve never really understood how I ended up there. I don’t care so much about what happens to me now that I’ve told you,” Janet added. “It was selfish not to tell you, but I’d never experienced anything like this—what you were giving me—and I wanted to soak it all in.”

“I'm thankful you did come to us!” Augusta Maturin managed to reply.

“I'm grateful you came to us!” Augusta Maturin managed to reply.

“You mean—?” Janet exclaimed.

"You mean—?" Janet said.

“I mean, that we who have been more—fortunate don't look at these things quite as we used to, that the world is less censorious, is growing to understand situations it formerly condemned. And—I don't know what kind of a monster you supposed me to be, Janet.”

“I mean, that we who have been more fortunate don't see these things quite the way we used to, that the world is less judgmental, and is starting to understand situations it once condemned. And—I don’t know what kind of monster you thought I was, Janet.”

“Oh, Mrs. Maturin!”

“Oh, Mrs. Maturin!”

“I mean that I'm a woman, too, my dear, although my life has been sheltered. Otherwise, what has happened to you might have happened to me. And besides, I am what is called unconventional, I have little theories of my own about life, and now that you have told me everything I understand you and love you even more than I did before.”

“I mean that I’m a woman too, my dear, even though I’ve lived a sheltered life. Otherwise, what happened to you could have happened to me. Besides, I’m what you might call unconventional; I have my own little theories about life, and now that you’ve shared everything, I understand you and love you even more than I did before.”

Save that her breath came fast, Janet lay still against the cushions of the armchair. She was striving to grasp the momentous and unlooked-for fact of her friend's unchanged attitude. Then she asked:—“Mrs. Maturin, do you believe in God?”

Save for her rapid breathing, Janet lay still against the cushions of the armchair. She was trying to wrap her head around the significant and unexpected reality of her friend's unchanged stance. Then she asked:—“Mrs. Maturin, do you believe in God?”

Augusta Maturin was startled by the question. “I like to think of Him as light, Janet, and that we are plants seeking to grow toward Him—no matter from what dark crevice we may spring. Even in our mistakes and sins we are seeking Him, for these are ignorances, and as the world learns more, we shall know Him better and better. It is natural to long for happiness, and happiness is self-realization, and self-realization is knowledge and light.”

Augusta Maturin was taken aback by the question. “I like to think of Him as light, Janet, and that we are like plants trying to grow toward Him—regardless of the dark places we come from. Even in our mistakes and sins, we are reaching out to Him, because those are just our misunderstandings, and as the world gains more understanding, we will get to know Him better and better. It's natural to crave happiness, and happiness is about realizing who we are, and self-realization equals knowledge and light.”

“That is beautiful,” said Janet at length.

“That's beautiful,” Janet finally said.

“It is all we can know about God,” said Mrs. Maturin, “but it is enough.” She had been thinking rapidly. “And now,” she went on, “we shall have to consider what is to be done. I don't pretend that the future will be easy, but it will not be nearly as hard for you as it might have been, since I am your friend, and I do not intend to desert you. I'm sure you will not let it crush you. In the first place, you will have something to go on with—mental resources, I mean, for which you have a natural craving, books and art and nature, the best thoughts and the best interpretations. We can give you these. And you will have your child, and work to do, for I'm sure you're industrious. And of course I'll keep your secret, my dear.”

“It’s all we can know about God,” said Mrs. Maturin, “but it’s enough.” She had been thinking quickly. “And now,” she continued, “we need to figure out what to do next. I won’t pretend that the future will be easy, but it won’t be nearly as tough for you as it could have been, since I’m your friend, and I don’t plan to abandon you. I’m sure you won’t let it overwhelm you. First of all, you’ll have something to work with—mental resources, I mean, that you naturally crave: books, art, and nature, along with the best thoughts and interpretations. We can provide those for you. Plus, you’ll have your child and work to focus on, because I know you’re hardworking. And of course, I’ll keep your secret, my dear.”

“But—how?” Janet exclaimed.

“But—how?” Janet said.

“I've arranged it all. You'll stay here this spring, you'll come to my house on Monday, just as we planned, and later on you may go to Mrs. Case's, if it will make you feel more independent, and do typewriting until the spring term is over. I've told you about my little camp away up in Canada, in the heart of the wilderness, where I go in summer. We'll stay there until the autumn, until your baby comes, and, after that, I know it won't be difficult to get you a position in the west, where you can gain your living and have your child. I have a good friend in California who I'm sure will help you. And even if your secret should eventually be discovered—which is not probable—you will have earned respect, and society is not as stern as it used to be. And you will always have me for a friend. There, that's the bright side of it. Of course it isn't a bed of roses, but I've lived long enough to observe that the people who lie on roses don't always have the happiest lives. Whenever you want help and advice, I shall always be here, and from time to time I'll be seeing you. Isn't that sensible?”

“I've sorted everything out. You'll stay here this spring, come to my house on Monday, just like we planned, and later you can go to Mrs. Case's if you want to feel more independent and do some typewriting until the spring term is over. I’ve told you about my little camp way up in Canada, in the middle of the wilderness, where I go in the summer. We'll stay there until autumn, until your baby arrives, and after that, I know it won't be hard to help you find a job in the west, where you can support yourself and have your child. I have a good friend in California who I’m sure can assist you. And even if your secret gets out—which is unlikely—you will have earned respect, and society isn't as harsh as it used to be. You’ll always have me as a friend. There, that’s the positive side. Of course, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but I've lived long enough to see that people who lie on roses don’t always lead the happiest lives. Whenever you need help or advice, I’ll always be here, and I’ll come by to see you from time to time. Doesn’t that make sense?”

“Oh, Mrs. Maturin—if you really want me—still?”

“Oh, Mrs. Maturin—do you still really want me?”

“I do want you, Janet, even more than I did—before, because you need me more,” Mrs. Maturin replied, with a sincerity that could not fail to bring conviction....

"I really want you, Janet, even more than I did before because you need me more," Mrs. Maturin replied, with a sincerity that could not fail to bring conviction....





CHAPTER XXI

As the spring progressed, Janet grew stronger, became well again, and through the kindness of Dr. Ledyard, the principal, was presently installed with a typewriter in a little room in an old building belonging to the Academy in what was called Bramble Street, and not far from the Common. Here, during the day, she industriously copied manuscripts' or, from her notebook, letters dictated by various members of the faculty. And she was pleased when they exclaimed delightedly at the flawless copies and failed to suspect her of frequent pilgrimages to the dictionary in the library in order to familiarize herself with the meaning and manner of spelling various academic words. At first it was almost bewildering to find herself in some degree thus sharing the Silliston community life; and an unpremeditated attitude toward these learned ones, high priests of the muses she had so long ignorantly worshipped, accounted perhaps for a great deal in their attitude toward her. Her fervour, repressed yet palpable, was like a flame burning before their altars—a flattery to which the learned, being human, are quick to respond. Besides, something of her history was known, and she was of a type to incite a certain amount of interest amongst these discerning ones. Often, after she had taken their dictation, or brought their manuscripts home, they detained her in conversation. In short, Silliston gave its approval to this particular experiment of Augusta Maturin. As for Mrs. Maturin herself, her feeling was one of controlled pride not unmixed with concern, always conscious as she was of the hidden element of tragedy in the play she had so lovingly staged. Not that she had any compunction in keeping Janet's secret, even from Insall; but sometimes as she contemplated it the strings of her heart grew tight. Silliston was so obviously where Janet belonged, she could not bear the thought of the girl going out again from this sheltered spot into a chaotic world of smoke and struggle.

As spring went on, Janet got stronger and recovered. Thanks to the kindness of Dr. Ledyard, the principal, she was set up with a typewriter in a small room in an old building belonging to the Academy on Bramble Street, not far from the Common. During the day, she worked hard copying manuscripts or letters dictated by different faculty members from her notebook. She felt pleased when they raved about her perfect copies and didn't realize she often made trips to the library dictionary to learn the meanings and spellings of various academic words. At first, it was a bit overwhelming to find herself sharing in the Silliston community life; her unguarded admiration for these learned individuals, the high priests of knowledge she had long admired from afar, probably influenced their feelings towards her. Her enthusiasm, held back but obvious, was like a flame burning in front of their altars—a compliment that the scholarly, being human, readily responded to. Additionally, pieces of her history were known, making her someone that sparked a fair bit of interest among these perceptive individuals. Often, after she took their dictation or brought their manuscripts home, they kept her in conversation. In short, Silliston supported this particular experiment by Augusta Maturin. As for Mrs. Maturin, she felt a mix of controlled pride and concern, always aware of the hidden tragedy in the performance she had lovingly orchestrated. She had no guilt in keeping Janet's secret, even from Insall; yet sometimes, as she thought about it, her heart ached. It was clear to her that Janet belonged at Silliston, and she couldn’t bear the thought of the girl leaving this safe haven to face a chaotic world filled with challenges.

Janet's own feelings were a medley. It was not, of course, contentment she knew continually, nor even peace, although there were moments when these stole over her. There were moments, despite her incredible good fortune, of apprehension when she shrank from the future, when fear assailed her; moments of intense sadness at the thought of leaving her friends, of leaving this enchanted place now that miraculously she had found it; moments of stimulation, of exaltation, when she forgot. Her prevailing sense, as she found herself again, was of thankfulness and gratitude, of determination to take advantage of, to drink in all of this wonderful experience, lest any precious memory be lost.

Janet's feelings were a mix. It wasn't contentment she felt all the time, nor even peace, although there were moments when those emotions came over her. There were times, despite her amazing luck, when she felt a sense of dread about the future, when fear overwhelmed her; moments of deep sadness at the thought of leaving her friends, of leaving this magical place that she had miraculously discovered; and moments of excitement and joy when she let herself forget. Overall, as she found herself again, she felt a strong sense of thankfulness and gratitude, and a determination to fully embrace and savor this incredible experience, so that no precious memory would slip away.

Like a jewel gleaming with many facets, each sunny day was stored and treasured. As she went from Mrs. Case's boarding-house forth to her work, the sweet, sharp air of these spring mornings was filled with delicious smells of new things, of new flowers and new grass and tender, new leaves of myriad shades, bronze and crimson, fuzzy white, primrose, and emerald green. And sometimes it seemed as though the pink and white clouds of the little orchards were wafted into swooning scents. She loved best the moment when the Common came in view, when through the rows of elms the lineaments of those old houses rose before her, lineaments seemingly long familiar, as of old and trusted friends, and yet ever stirring new harmonies and new visions. Here, in their midst, she belonged, and here, had the world been otherwise ordained, she might have lived on in one continuous, shining spring. At the corner of the Common, foursquare, ample, painted a straw colour trimmed with white, with its high chimneys and fan-shaped stairway window, its balustraded terrace porch open to the sky, was the eighteenth century mansion occupied by Dr. Ledyard. What was the secret of its flavour? And how account for the sense of harmony inspired by another dwelling, built during the term of the second Adams, set in a frame of maples and shining white in the morning sun? Its curved portico was capped by a wrought-iron railing, its long windows were touched with purple, and its low garret—set like a deckhouse on the wide roof—suggested hidden secrets of the past. Here a Motley or a Longfellow might have dwelt, a Bryant penned his “Thanatopsis.” Farther on, chequered by shade, stood the quaint brick row of professors' houses, with sloping eaves and recessed entrances of granite—a subject for an old English print.... Along the border of the Common were interspersed among the ancient dormitories and halls the new and dignified buildings of plum-coloured brick that still preserved the soul of Silliston. And to it the soul of Janet responded.

Like a jewel shining with many sides, each sunny day was cherished and valued. As she left Mrs. Case's boarding house to go to work, the sweet, crisp air of these spring mornings was filled with the delightful scents of new things, like fresh flowers, new grass, and tender leaves in countless shades of bronze, crimson, fuzzy white, primrose, and emerald green. Sometimes, it felt like the pink and white clouds from the little orchards were blowing in with intoxicating fragrances. She loved the moment when the Common came into sight; through the rows of elms, the outlines of those old houses appeared before her, familiar as old, trusted friends, yet always inspiring new harmonies and fresh visions. Here, in their midst, she belonged, and here, if the world had been different, she might have lived on in one endless, shining spring. At the corner of the Common stood a large, square mansion, painted straw yellow with white trim, high chimneys, and a fan-shaped stairway window, its balustraded terrace porch open to the sky, occupied by Dr. Ledyard. What was the secret of its charm? And how could one explain the sense of harmony inspired by another house, built during the era of the second Adams, nestled among maples and shining white in the morning sun? Its curved portico was topped with a wrought-iron railing, its long windows had hints of purple, and its low attic—perched like a deckhouse on the wide roof—suggested hidden secrets of the past. Here, a Motley or a Longfellow might have lived, a Bryant could have penned his “Thanatopsis.” Further down, shaded by trees, stood the charming brick row of professors' houses, with sloping eaves and recessed granite entrances—a scene fit for an old English print.... Along the edge of the Common, the ancient dormitories and halls were mixed with the new, dignified buildings of plum-colored brick that still held the spirit of Silliston. And to it, Janet's spirit responded.

In the late afternoon, when her tasks were finished, Janet would cross the Common to Mrs. Maturin's—a dwelling typical of the New England of the past, with the dimensions of a cottage and something of the dignity of a mansion. Fluted white pilasters adorned the corners, the windows were protected by tiny eaves, the roof was guarded by a rail; the classically porched entrance was approached by a path between high clipped hedges of hemlock; and through the library, on the right, you reached the flagged terrace beside a garden, rioting in the carnival colours of spring. By September it would have changed. For there is one glory of the hyacinth, of the tulip and narcissus and the jonquil, and another of the Michaelmas daisy and the aster.

In the late afternoon, after finishing her tasks, Janet would walk across the Common to Mrs. Maturin's house—a place typical of old New England, with the size of a cottage but a touch of mansion elegance. Fluted white columns decorated the corners, the windows were shaded by small eaves, and a railing protected the roof; the classically styled entrance was reached by a path lined with tall, trimmed hemlock hedges. Inside, the library on the right led to a stone terrace next to a garden bursting with the vibrant colors of spring. By September, it would change. There is one beauty of the hyacinth, tulip, narcissus, and jonquil, and a different one for the Michaelmas daisy and aster.

Insall was often there, and on Saturdays and Sundays he took Mrs. Maturin and Janet on long walks into the country. There were afternoons when the world was flooded with silver light, when the fields were lucent in the sun; and afternoons stained with blue,—the landscape like a tapestry woven in delicate grins on a ground of indigo. The arbutus, all aglow and fragrant beneath its leaves, the purple fringed polygala were past, but they found the pale gold lily of the bellwort, the rust-red bloom of the ginger. In the open spaces under the sky were clouds of bluets, wild violets, and white strawberry flowers clustering beside the star moss all a-shimmer with new green. The Canada Mayflower spread a carpet under the pines; and in the hollows where the mists settled, where the brooks flowed, where the air was heavy with the damp, ineffable odour of growing things, they gathered drooping adder's-tongues, white-starred bloodroots and foam-flowers. From Insall's quick eye nothing seemed to escape. He would point out to them the humming-bird that hovered, a bright blur, above the columbine, the woodpecker glued to the trunk of a maple high above their heads, the red gleam of a tanager flashing through sunlit foliage, the oriole and vireo where they hid. And his was the ear that first caught the exquisite, distant note of the hermit. Once he stopped them, startled, to listen to the cock partridge drumming to its mate....

Insall was usually there, and on Saturdays and Sundays he took Mrs. Maturin and Janet on long walks in the countryside. There were afternoons when the world was bathed in silver light, when the fields shimmered in the sun; and afternoons tinged with blue—the landscape looked like a tapestry woven with delicate patterns on a deep indigo background. The arbutus, glowing and fragrant under its leaves, and the purple fringed polygala were gone, but they found the pale gold lily of the bellwort and the rusty red bloom of the ginger. In the open areas beneath the sky were clusters of bluets, wild violets, and white strawberry flowers gathering beside the star moss, all shimmering with fresh green. The Canada Mayflower spread a carpet under the pines; and in the low areas where the mists settled, where the brooks flowed, where the air was thick with the rich, indescribable smell of growing things, they picked drooping adder's-tongues, white-starred bloodroots, and foam-flowers. Nothing seemed to escape Insall's keen eye. He would point out the hummingbird that hovered, a bright blur, above the columbine, the woodpecker clinging to the trunk of a maple high above them, the red flash of a tanager darting through the sunlit leaves, and the oriole and vireo where they were hidden. He was also the one who first heard the exquisite, distant call of the hermit. Once, he suddenly stopped them, surprised, to listen to the male partridge drumming for its mate....

Sometimes, of an evening, when Janet was helping Mrs. Maturin in her planting or weeding, Insall would join them, rolling up the sleeves of his flannel shirt and kneeling beside them in the garden paths. Mrs. Maturin was forever asking his advice, though she did not always follow it.

Sometimes, in the evenings, when Janet was helping Mrs. Maturin with her planting or weeding, Insall would join them, rolling up the sleeves of his flannel shirt and kneeling beside them in the garden paths. Mrs. Maturin was always asking for his advice, even though she didn't always take it.

“Now, Brooks,” she would say, “you've just got to suggest something to put in that border to replace the hyacinths.”

“Now, Brooks,” she would say, “you just need to suggest something to put in that border to replace the hyacinths.”

“I had larkspur last year—you remember—and it looked like a chromo in a railroad folder.”

“I had larkspur last year—you remember—and it looked like a picture in a railroad brochure.”

“Let me see—did I advise larkspur?” he would ask.

“Let me think—did I suggest larkspur?” he would ask.

“Oh, I'm sure you must have—I always do what you tell me. It seems to me I've thought of every possible flower in the catalogue. You know, too, only you're so afraid of committing yourself.”

“Oh, I'm sure you must have—I always do what you say. It feels like I’ve considered every single flower in the catalog. You know that too, but you’re just so scared of making a decision.”

Insall's comic spirit, betrayed by his expressions, by the quizzical intonations of his voice, never failed to fill Janet with joy, while it was somehow suggestive, too, of the vast fund of his resource. Mrs. Maturin was right, he could have solved many of her questions offhand if he had so wished, but he had his own method of dealing with appeals. His head tilted on one side, apparently in deep thought over the problem, he never answered outright, but by some process of suggestion unfathomable to Janet, and by eliminating, not too deprecatingly, Mrs. Maturin's impatient proposals, brought her to a point where she blurted out the solution herself.

Insall's humorous nature, shown through his expressions and the playful tones in his voice, always brought joy to Janet. At the same time, it hinted at his great depth of resources. Mrs. Maturin was right; he could have easily answered many of her questions on the spot if he wanted to, but he preferred his own way of handling requests. With his head tilted to one side, seemingly deep in thought about the issue, he never gave a direct answer. Instead, through a process of suggestion that was puzzling to Janet, and by gently dismissing Mrs. Maturin's impatient ideas, he led her to the point where she ended up providing the solution herself.

“Oriental poppies! How stupid of me not to think of them!”

“Oriental poppies! How silly of me not to think of them!”

“How stupid of me!” Insall echoed—and Janet, bending over her weeding, made sure they had been in his mind all the while.

“How foolish of me!” Insall repeated—and Janet, bent over her weeding, made sure they had been on his mind all along.

Augusta Maturin's chief extravagance was books; she could not bear to await her turn at the library, and if she liked a book she wished to own it. Subscribing to several reviews, three English and one American, she scanned them eagerly every week and sent in orders to her Boston bookseller. As a consequence the carved walnut racks on her library table were constantly being strained. A good book, she declared, ought to be read aloud, and discussed even during its perusal. And thus Janet, after an elementary and decidedly unique introduction to worth-while literature in the hospital, was suddenly plunged into the vortex of modern thought. The dictum Insall quoted, that modern culture depended largely upon what one had not read, was applied to her; a child of the new environment fallen into skilful hands, she was spared the boredom of wading through the so-called classics which, though useful as milestones, as landmarks for future reference, are largely mere reminders of an absolute universe now vanished. The arrival of a novel, play, or treatise by one of that small but growing nucleus of twentieth century seers was an event, and often a volume begun in the afternoon was taken up again after supper. While Mrs. Maturin sat sewing on the other side of the lamp, Janet had her turn at reading. From the first she had been quick to note Mrs. Maturin's inflections, and the relics of a high-school manner were rapidly eliminated. The essence of latter-day realism and pragmatism, its courageous determination to tear away a veil of which she had always been dimly aware, to look the facts of human nature in the face, refreshed her: an increasing portion of it she understood; and she was constantly under the spell of the excitement that partially grasps, that hovers on the verge of inspiring discoveries. This excitement, whenever Insall chanced to be present, was intensified, as she sat a silent but often quivering listener to his amusing and pungent comments on these new ideas. His method of discussion never failed to illuminate and delight her, and often, when she sat at her typewriter the next day, she would recall one of his quaint remarks that suddenly threw a bright light on some matter hitherto obscure.... Occasionally a novel or a play was the subject of their talk, and then they took a delight in drawing her out, in appealing to a spontaneous judgment unhampered by pedagogically implanted preconceptions. Janet would grow hot from shyness.

Augusta Maturin's biggest indulgence was books; she couldn’t stand waiting for her turn at the library, and if she liked a book, she wanted to own it. Subscribing to several magazines, three English and one American, she eagerly read them every week and placed orders with her Boston bookseller. As a result, the carved walnut racks on her library table were always getting overloaded. A good book, she insisted, should be read out loud and discussed even while reading it. So Janet, after a basic and quite unique introduction to worthwhile literature in the hospital, was suddenly thrown into the whirlwind of modern thought. The saying Insall quoted, that modern culture largely depended on what one hadn’t read, applied to her; a child of the new environment in skilled hands, she was spared the boredom of slogging through the so-called classics which, while useful as milestones or landmarks for future reference, were mostly just reminders of a wholly different world that had disappeared. The arrival of a novel, play, or essay by that small but growing group of twentieth-century visionaries was an event, and often a book started in the afternoon was picked up again after dinner. While Mrs. Maturin sat sewing on the other side of the lamp, it was Janet's turn to read. From the beginning, she quickly picked up on Mrs. Maturin’s tones, and the remnants of a high school style were soon gone. The essence of modern realism and pragmatism, its brave determination to pull away a veil she had always vaguely sensed, to confront the truths of human nature head-on, invigorated her: she understood more of it every day; and she was constantly captivated by the excitement of gaining new insights that hovered just out of reach. This excitement, whenever Insall happened to be around, was heightened as she sat as a silent but often trembling listener to his witty and sharp comments on these new ideas. His method of discussion never failed to illuminate and entertain her, and often, when she sat at her typewriter the next day, she'd remember one of his quirky remarks that suddenly shed light on something that had previously been unclear. Occasionally, a novel or a play would be their topic of conversation, and then they delighted in encouraging her to share her thoughts, appealing to her spontaneous judgment unconstrained by educational biases. Janet would grow warm with shyness.

“Say what you think, my dear,” Mrs. Maturin would urge her. “And remember that your own opinion is worth more than Shakespeare's or Napoleon's!”

“Speak your mind, my dear,” Mrs. Maturin would encourage her. “And don’t forget that your opinion is worth more than Shakespeare’s or Napoleon’s!”

Insall would escort her home to Mrs. Case's boarding house....

Insall would walk her home to Mrs. Case's boarding house....

One afternoon early in June Janet sat in her little room working at her letters when Brooks Insall came in. “I don't mean to intrude in business hours, but I wanted to ask if you would do a little copying for me,” he said, and he laid on her desk a parcel bound with characteristic neatness.

One afternoon in early June, Janet was in her small room working on her letters when Brooks Insall walked in. “I don't want to interrupt your work hours, but I wanted to see if you could do a bit of copying for me,” he said, placing a neatly wrapped parcel on her desk.

“Something you've written?” she exclaimed, blushing with pleasure and surprise. He was actually confiding to her one of his manuscripts!

“Something you’ve written?” she exclaimed, blushing with delight and surprise. He was actually sharing one of his manuscripts with her!

“Well—yes,” he replied comically, eyeing her.

“Well—yeah,” he replied jokingly, looking at her.

“I'll be very careful with it. I'll do it right away.”

“I'll be really careful with it. I’ll take care of it right now.”

“There's no particular hurry,” he assured her. “The editor's waited six months for it—another month or so won't matter.”

“There's no rush,” he assured her. “The editor has been waiting for it for six months—another month or so won't make a difference.”

“Another month or so!” she ejaculated,—but he was gone. Of course she couldn't have expected him to remain and talk about it; but this unexpected exhibition of shyness concerning his work—so admired by the world's choicer spirits—thrilled yet amused her, and made her glow with a new understanding. With eager fingers she undid the string and sat staring at the regular script without taking in, at first, the meaning of a single sentence. It was a comparatively short sketch entitled “The Exile,” in which shining, winged truths and elusive beauties flitted continually against a dark-background of Puritan oppression; the story of one Basil Grelott, a dreamer of Milton's day, Oxford nurtured, who, casting off the shackles of dogma and man-made decrees, sailed with his books to the New England wilderness across the sea. There he lived, among the savages, in peace and freedom until the arrival of Winthrop and his devotees, to encounter persecution from those who themselves had fled from it. The Lord's Brethren, he averred, were worse than the Lord's Bishops—Blackstone's phrase. Janet, of course, had never heard of Blackstone, some of whose experiences Insall had evidently used. And the Puritans dealt with Grelott even as they would have served the author of “Paradise Lost” himself, especially if he had voiced among them the opinions set forth in his pamphlet on divorce. A portrait of a stern divine with his infallible Book gave Janet a vivid conception of the character of her ancestors; and early Boston, with yellow candlelight gleaming from the lantern-like windows of the wooden, Elizabethan houses, was unforgettably etched. There was an inquisition in a freezing barn of a church, and Basil Grelott banished to perish amid the forest in his renewed quest for freedom.... After reading the manuscript, Janet sat typewriting into the night, taking it home with her and placing it besides her bed, lest it be lost to posterity. By five the next evening she had finished the copy.

“Another month or so!” she exclaimed, but he was already gone. Of course, she couldn't have expected him to stick around and talk about it; however, his unexpected shyness about his work—so admired by the elite of the world—thrilled and amused her, filling her with a new sense of understanding. With eager fingers, she untied the string and stared at the neat handwriting without initially grasping the meaning of even one sentence. It was a relatively short sketch titled “The Exile,” featuring shining, winged truths and elusive beauties continually flitting against a dark backdrop of Puritan oppression; the story of one Basil Grelott, a dreamer from Milton's era, raised in Oxford, who, breaking free from the chains of dogma and man-made rules, sailed with his books to the New England wilderness across the sea. There, he lived peacefully and freely among the Native Americans until the arrival of Winthrop and his followers, only to face persecution from those who had fled it themselves. The Lord’s Brethren, he claimed, were worse than the Lord’s Bishops—Blackstone's phrase. Janet had, of course, never heard of Blackstone, some of whose experiences Insall had clearly drawn from. The Puritans treated Grelott the same way they would have treated the author of “Paradise Lost” himself, especially if he had expressed the opinions outlined in his pamphlet on divorce. A portrait of a stern divine with his infallible Book created a vivid image of the character of her ancestors; and early Boston, with warm candlelight shining from the lantern-like windows of the wooden Elizabethan houses, was etched in her memory. There was an inquisition in a freezing barn of a church, and Basil Grelott was banished to perish in the forest as he sought freedom once more. After reading the manuscript, Janet spent the night typewriting, bringing it home with her and placing it beside her bed to ensure it wouldn't be lost to future generations. By five the next evening, she had finished the copy.

A gentle rain had fallen during the day, but had ceased as she made her way toward Insall's house. The place was familiar now: she had been there to supper with Mrs. Maturin, a supper cooked and served by Martha Vesey, an elderly, efficient and appallingly neat widow, whom Insall had discovered somewhere in his travels and installed as his housekeeper. Janet paused with her hand on the gate latch to gaze around her, at the picket fence on which he had been working when she had walked hither the year before. It was primly painted now, its posts crowned with the carved pineapples; behind the fence old-fashioned flowers were in bloom, lupins and false indigo; and the retaining wall of blue-grey slaty stone, which he had laid that spring, was finished. A wind stirred the maple, releasing a shower of heavy drops, and she opened the gate and went up the path and knocked at the door. There was no response—even Martha must be absent, in the village! Janet was disappointed, she had looked forward to seeing him, to telling him how great had been her pleasure in the story he had written, at the same time doubting her courage to do so. She had never been able to speak to him about his work and what did her opinion matter to him? As she turned away the stillness was broken by a humming sound gradually rising to a crescendo, so she ventured slowly around the house and into the orchard of gnarled apple trees on the slope until she came insight of a little white building beside the brook. The weathervane perched on the gable, and veering in the wet breeze, seemed like a live fish swimming in its own element; and through the open window she saw Insall bending over a lathe, from which the chips were flying. She hesitated. Then he looked up, and seeing her, reached above his head to pull the lever that shut off the power.

A light rain had fallen during the day but stopped as she walked toward Insall's house. The place felt familiar now; she had been there for dinner with Mrs. Maturin, a meal prepared and served by Martha Vesey, an elderly, efficient, and incredibly tidy widow whom Insall had found somewhere during his travels and brought in as his housekeeper. Janet paused with her hand on the gate latch to look around at the picket fence he had been working on when she visited the year before. It was freshly painted now, its posts topped with carved pineapples. Behind the fence, old-fashioned flowers were blooming—lupines and false indigo—and the retaining wall of blue-grey stone that he had built that spring was complete. A wind rustled the maple tree, shaking off a shower of heavy drops, and she opened the gate, walked up the path, and knocked on the door. There was no answer—not even Martha must be around, probably in the village! Janet felt disappointed; she had been looking forward to seeing him and telling him how much she enjoyed the story he had written, though she doubted her courage to do so. She had never been able to discuss his work with him, and what did her opinion really matter to him? As she turned to leave, the silence was interrupted by a humming sound gradually rising to a crescendo, so she slowly ventured around the house and into the orchard of twisted apple trees on the slope until she spotted a small white building beside the brook. The weathervane perched on the gable, swaying in the wet breeze, looked like a live fish swimming in its element; through the open window, she saw Insall bent over a lathe, with wood shavings flying everywhere. She hesitated. Then he looked up, saw her, and reached above his head to pull the lever that shut off the power.

“Come in,” he called out, and met her at the doorway. He was dressed in a white duck shirt, open at the neck, and a pair of faded corduroy trousers. “I wasn't looking for this honour,” he told her, with a gesture of self-deprecation, “or I'd have put on a dinner coat.”

“Come in,” he called out, meeting her at the door. He was wearing a white duck shirt, open at the neck, and a pair of worn corduroy pants. “I wasn’t expecting this honor,” he told her with a self-deprecating gesture, “or I would’ve put on a dinner jacket.”

And, despite her eagerness and excitement, she laughed.

And, even with her eagerness and excitement, she laughed.

“I didn't dare to leave this in the house,” she explained. “Mrs. Vesey wasn't home. And I thought you might be here.”

“I didn't want to leave this in the house,” she explained. “Mrs. Vesey wasn't home. And I thought you might be here.”

“You haven't made the copy already!”

“You haven’t made the copy yet!”

“Oh, I loved doing it!” she replied, and paused, flushing. She might have known that it would be simply impossible to talk to him about it! So she laid it down on the workbench, and, overcome by a sudden shyness, retreated toward the door.

“Oh, I loved doing it!” she replied, then paused, blushing. She should have realized that it would be totally impossible to talk to him about it! So she placed it down on the workbench and, feeling a rush of shyness, backed away toward the door.

“You're not going!” he exclaimed.

“You're not going!” he said.

“I must—and you're busy.”

“I have to—and you’re busy.”

“Not at all,” he declared, “not at all, I was just killing time until supper. Sit down!” And he waved her to a magisterial-looking chair of Jacobean design, with turned legs, sandpapered and immaculate, that stood in the middle of the shop.

“Not at all,” he said, “not at all, I was just passing the time until dinner. Have a seat!” And he gestured toward a formal-looking chair in Jacobean style, with turned legs, sanded down and spotless, that stood in the middle of the shop.

“Oh, not in that!” Janet protested. “And besides, I'd spoil it—I'm sure my skirt is wet.”

“Oh, not in that!” Janet protested. “And besides, I’d ruin it—I’m sure my skirt is wet.”

But he insisted, thrusting it under her. “You've come along just in time, I wanted a woman to test it—men are no judges of chairs. There's a vacuum behind the small of your back, isn't there? Augusta will have to put a cushion in it.”

But he insisted, pushing it under her. “You’ve arrived just in time, I needed a woman to try it out—men can’t judge chairs. There’s a gap behind your lower back, right? Augusta will need to add a cushion there.”

“Did you make it for Mrs. Maturin? She will be Pleased!” exclaimed Janet, as she sat down. “I don't think it's uncomfortable.”

“Did you make it for Mrs. Maturin? She'll love it!” exclaimed Janet, as she sat down. “I don’t think it’s uncomfortable.”

“I copied it from an old one in the Boston Art Museum. Augusta saw it there, and said she wouldn't be happy until she had one like it. But don't tell her.”

“I got it from an old one in the Boston Art Museum. Augusta saw it there and said she wouldn't be happy until she had one like it. But don't tell her.”

“Not for anything!” Janet got to her feet again. “I really must be going.”

“Not for anything!” Janet stood up again. “I really have to go.”

“Going where?”

"Where to?"

“I told Mrs. Maturin I'd read that new book to her. I couldn't go yesterday—I didn't want to go,” she added, fearing he might think his work had kept her.

“I told Mrs. Maturin I’d read that new book to her. I couldn’t go yesterday—I didn’t want to go,” she added, worried he might think his work had held her back.

“Well, I'll walk over with you. She asked me to make a little design for a fountain, you know, and I'll have to get some measurements.”

“Well, I'll walk over with you. She asked me to create a small design for a fountain, you know, and I need to take some measurements.”

As they emerged from the shop and climbed the slope Janet tried to fight off the sadness that began to invade her. Soon she would have to be leaving all this! Her glance lingered wistfully on the old farmhouse with its great centre chimney from which the smoke was curling, with its diamond-paned casements Insall had put into the tiny frames.

As they stepped out of the shop and went up the hill, Janet tried to push away the sadness that was starting to take over her. Soon, she would have to leave all of this behind! Her gaze hung on the old farmhouse with its big center chimney from which the smoke was curling, with its diamond-paned windows that Insall had installed in the small frames.

“What queer windows!” she said. “But they seem to go with the house, beautifully.”

“What strange windows!” she said. “But they really suit the house beautifully.”

“You think so?” His tone surprised her; it had a touch more of earnestness than she had ever before detected. “They belong to that type of house the old settlers brought the leaded glass with them. Some people think they're cold, but I've arranged to make them fairly tight. You see, I've tried to restore it as it must have been when it was built.”

“You think so?” His tone surprised her; it was more sincere than she had ever noticed before. “They’re the kind of houses the old settlers brought with them, complete with leaded glass. Some people think they’re cold, but I’ve made sure to keep them pretty cozy. You see, I’ve tried to restore it to how it must have been when it was first built.”

“And these?” she asked, pointing to the millstones of different diameters that made the steps leading down to the garden.

“And these?” she asked, pointing to the millstones of various sizes that formed the steps leading down to the garden.

“Oh, that's an old custom, but they are nice,” he agreed. “I'll just put this precious manuscript inside and get my foot rule,” he added, opening the door, and she stood awaiting him on the threshold, confronted by the steep little staircase that disappeared into the wall half way up. At her left was the room where he worked, and which once had been the farmhouse kitchen. She took a few steps into it, and while he was searching in the table drawer she halted before the great chimney over which, against the panel, an old bell-mouthed musket hung. Insall came over beside her.

“Oh, that's an old tradition, but it's nice,” he agreed. “I'll just put this precious manuscript inside and grab my ruler,” he added, opening the door, and she stood waiting for him on the threshold, facing the steep little staircase that disappeared into the wall halfway up. To her left was the room where he worked, which had once been the farmhouse kitchen. She took a few steps into it, and while he was rummaging through the drawer of the table, she paused in front of the large fireplace where an old bell-mouthed musket hung against the panel. Insall came over to stand beside her.

“Those were trees!” he said. “That panel's over four feet across, I measured it once. I dare say the pine it was cut from grew right where we are standing, before the land was cleared to build the house.”

“Those were trees!” he said. “That panel is over four feet wide; I measured it once. I bet the pine it was cut from grew right here where we’re standing, before they cleared the land to build the house.”

“But the gun?” she questioned. “You didn't have it the night we came to supper.”

“But the gun?” she asked. “You didn’t have it the night we came for dinner.”

“No, I ran across it at a sale in Boston. The old settler must have owned one like that. I like to think of him, away off here in the wilderness in those early days.”

“No, I found it at a sale in Boston. The old settler must have had one like that. I like to imagine him, out here in the wilderness during those early days.”

She thought of how Insall had made those early days live for her, in his story of Basil Grelott. But to save her soul, when with such an opening, she could not speak of it.

She remembered how Insall had brought those early days to life for her in his story about Basil Grelott. But for the life of her, even with such a chance, she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it.

“He had to work pretty hard, of course,” Insall continued, “but I dare say he had a fairly happy life, no movies, no Sunday supplements, no automobiles or gypsy moths. His only excitement was to trudge ten miles to Dorset and listen to a three hour sermon on everlasting fire and brimstone by a man who was supposed to know. No wonder he slept soundly and lived to be over ninety!”

“He had to work pretty hard, of course,” Insall continued, “but I’d say he had a pretty happy life—no movies, no Sunday supplements, no cars or annoying pests. His only thrill was trudging ten miles to Dorset and sitting through a three-hour sermon about eternal damnation by a guy who was supposed to know what he was talking about. It’s no surprise he slept soundly and lived to be over ninety!”

Insall was standing with his head thrown back, his eyes stilt seemingly fixed on the musket that had suggested his remark—a pose eloquent, she thought, of the mental and physical balance of the man. She wondered what belief gave him the free mastery of soul and body he possessed. Some firm conviction, she was sure, must energise him yet she respected him the more for concealing it.

Insall was standing with his head thrown back, his eyes seemingly fixed on the musket that had inspired his remark—a stance that, she thought, eloquently displayed the mental and physical balance of the man. She wondered what belief allowed him the complete control over his mind and body that he had. She was certain that some strong conviction must drive him, yet she respected him even more for keeping it hidden.

“It's hard to understand such a terrible religion!” she cried. “I don't see how those old settlers could believe in it, when there are such beautiful things in the world, if we only open our eyes and look for them. Oh Mr. Insall, I wish I could tell you how I felt when I read your story, and when Mrs. Maturin read me those other books of yours.”

“It's hard to understand such a terrible religion!” she exclaimed. “I don't see how those early settlers could believe in it, when there are so many beautiful things in the world, if we just open our eyes and look for them. Oh Mr. Insall, I wish I could express how I felt when I read your story, and when Mrs. Maturin shared those other books of yours with me.”

She stopped breathlessly, aghast at her boldness—and then, suddenly, a barrier between them seemed to break down, and for the first time since she had known him she felt near to him. He could not doubt the sincerity of her tribute.

She stopped, out of breath and shocked by her own boldness—and then, suddenly, a wall between them seemed to crumble, and for the first time since she had met him, she felt close to him. He couldn't doubt the genuineness of her admiration.

“You like them as much as that, Janet?” he said, looking at her.

“You like them that much, Janet?” he said, looking at her.

“I can't tell you how much, I can't express myself. And I want to tell you something else, Mr. Insall, while I have the chance—how just being with you and Mrs. Maturin has changed me. I can face life now, you have shown me so much in it I never saw before.”

“I can’t explain how much this means to me. And I want to tell you something else, Mr. Insall, while I have the chance—just being with you and Mrs. Maturin has changed me. I can face life now; you have shown me so much that I never noticed before.”

“While you have the chance?” he repeated.

“While you have the chance?” he said again.

“Yes.” She strove to go on cheerfully, “Now I've said it, I feel better, I promise not to mention it again. I knew—you didn't think me ungrateful. It's funny,” she added, “the more people have done for you-when they've given you everything, life and hope,—the harder it is to thank them.” She turned her face away, lest he might see that her eyes were wet. “Mrs. Maturin will be expecting us.”

“Yes.” She tried to keep her tone light, “Now that I’ve said it, I feel better. I promise I won’t bring it up again. I knew—you didn’t think I was ungrateful. It's funny,” she added, “the more people have done for you—when they’ve given you everything, life and hope—the harder it is to thank them.” She turned her face away, so he wouldn’t see that her eyes were moist. “Mrs. Maturin will be waiting for us.”

“Not yet,” she heard him say, and felt his hand on her arm. “You haven't thought of what you're doing for me.”

“Not yet,” she heard him say, and felt his hand on her arm. “You haven't considered what you're doing for me.”

“What I'm doing for you!” she echoed. “What hurts me most, when I think about it, is that I'll never be able to do anything.”

“What I'm doing for you!” she repeated. “What hurts me the most, when I think about it, is that I'll never be able to do anything.”

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

“If I only could believe that some day I might be able to help you—just a little—I should be happier. All I have, all I am I owe to you and Mrs. Maturin.”

“If I could just believe that someday I might be able to help you—just a little—I would be happier. Everything I have, everything I am, I owe to you and Mrs. Maturin.”

“No, Janet,” he answered. “What you are is you, and it's more real than anything we could have put into you. What you have to give is—yourself.” His fingers trembled on her arm, but she saw him smile a little before he spoke again. “Augusta Maturin was right when she said that you were the woman I needed. I didn't realize it then perhaps she didn't—but now I'm sure of it. Will you come to me?”

“No, Janet,” he replied. “What you are is you, and it’s more real than anything we could have put into you. What you have to give is—yourself.” His fingers shook on her arm, but she noticed him smile a bit before he continued. “Augusta Maturin was right when she said that you were the woman I needed. I might not have realized it back then, and maybe she didn’t either—but now I’m certain of it. Will you come to me?”

She stood staring at him, as in terror, suddenly penetrated by a dismay that sapped her strength, and she leaned heavily against the fireplace, clutching the mantel-shelf.

She stood staring at him, terrified, suddenly overwhelmed by a distress that drained her strength, and she leaned heavily against the fireplace, gripping the mantel.

“Don't!” she pleaded. “Please don't—I can't.”

“Don’t!” she begged. “Please don’t—I can’t.”

“You can't!... Perhaps, after a while, you may come to feel differently—I didn't mean to startle you,” she heard him reply gently. This humility, in him, was unbearable.

“You can't!... Maybe, after some time, you'll feel differently—I didn't mean to shock you,” she heard him respond softly. This humility in him was overwhelming.

“Oh, it isn't that—it isn't that! If I could, I'd be willing to serve you all my life—I wouldn't ask for anything more. I never thought that this would happen. I oughtn't to have stayed in Silliston.”

“Oh, it's not that—it’s not that! If I could, I'd be happy to serve you for the rest of my life—I wouldn’t want anything more. I never thought this would happen. I shouldn't have stayed in Silliston.”

“You didn't suspect that I loved you?”

“You didn't think that I loved you?”

“How could I? Oh, I might have loved you, if I'd been fortunate—if I'd deserved it. But I never thought, I always looked up to you—you are so far above me!” She lifted her face to him in agony. “I'm sorry—I'm sorry for you—I'll never forgive myself!”

“How could I? Oh, I might have loved you if I had been lucky—if I had deserved it. But I never thought so, I always looked up to you—you are so much better than me!” She raised her face to him in distress. “I'm sorry—I feel sorry for you—I’ll never forgive myself!”

“It's—some one else?” he asked.

"Is it someone else?" he asked.

“I was—going to be married to—to Mr. Ditmar,” she said slowly, despairingly.

“I was—going to marry—Mr. Ditmar,” she said slowly, despairingly.

“But even then—” Insall began.

“But even then—” Insall said.

“You don't understand!” she cried. “What will you think of me?—Mrs. Maturin was to have told you, after I'd gone. It's—it's the same as if I were married to him—only worse.”

“You don’t get it!” she shouted. “What will you think of me? Mrs. Maturin was supposed to tell you after I left. It’s—it's basically the same as if I were married to him—just worse.”

“Worse!” Insall repeated uncomprehendingly.... And then she was aware that he had left her side. He was standing by the window.

“Worse!” Insall repeated, not understanding.... And then she realized that he had left her side. He was standing by the window.

A thrush began to sing in the maple. She stole silently toward the door, and paused to look back at him, once to meet his glance. He had turned.

A thrush started to sing in the maple tree. She quietly moved toward the door and stopped to glance back at him, just once to catch his eye. He had turned.

“I can't—I can't let you go like this!” she heard him say, but she fled from him, out of the gate and toward the Common....

“I can't—I can't let you go like this!” she heard him say, but she ran away from him, out of the gate and toward the Common....

When Janet appeared, Augusta Maturin was in her garden. With an instant perception that something was wrong, she went to the girl and led her to the sofa in the library. There the confession was made.

When Janet showed up, Augusta Maturin was in her garden. Sensing immediately that something was off, she went to the girl and guided her to the sofa in the library. That's where the confession took place.

“I never guessed it,” Janet sobbed. “Oh, Mrs. Maturin, you'll believe me—won't you?”

“I never saw it coming,” Janet cried. “Oh, Mrs. Maturin, you’ll believe me—won’t you?”

“Of course I believe you, Janet,” Augusta Maturity replied, trying to hide her pity, her own profound concern and perplexity. “I didn't suspect it either. If I had—”

“Of course I believe you, Janet,” Augusta Maturity said, trying to conceal her pity, along with her deep concern and confusion. “I didn’t suspect it either. If I had—”

“You wouldn't have brought me here, you wouldn't have asked me to stay with you. But I was to blame, I oughtn't to have stayed, I knew all along that something would happen—something terrible that I hadn't any right to stay.”

“You wouldn't have brought me here, you wouldn't have asked me to stay with you. But I was to blame; I shouldn't have stayed. I knew all along that something would happen—something terrible that I had no right to ignore.”

“Who could have foreseen it!” her friend exclaimed helplessly. “Brooks isn't like any other man I've ever known—one can never tell what he has in mind. Not that I'm surprised as I look back upon it all!”

“Who could have seen this coming!” her friend exclaimed, feeling helpless. “Brooks isn’t like any other guy I’ve ever met—it's impossible to guess what he’s really thinking. Not that I’m shocked when I think about it all!”

“I've hurt him!”

“I've hurt him!”

Augusta Maturity was silent awhile. “Remember, my dear,” she begged, “you haven't only yourself to think about, from now on.”

Augusta Maturity was quiet for a moment. “Remember, my dear,” she pleaded, “you have more than just yourself to consider from now on.”

But comfort was out of the question, the task of calming the girl impossible. Finally the doctor was sent for, and she was put to bed....

But comfort was out of the question, and calming the girl was impossible. Finally, the doctor was called, and she was put to bed....

Augusta Maturity spent an agonized, sleepless night, a prey of many emotions; of self-reproach, seeing now that she had been wrong in not telling Brooks Insall of the girl's secret; of sorrow and sympathy for him; of tenderness toward the girl, despite the suffering she had brought; of unwonted rebellion against a world that cheated her of this cherished human tie for which she had longed the first that had come into her life since her husband and child had gone. And there was her own responsibility for Insall's unhappiness—when she recalled with a pang her innocent sayings that Janet was the kind of woman he, an artist, should marry! And it was true—if he must marry. He himself had seen it. Did Janet love him? or did she still remember Ditmar? Again and again, during the summer that followed, this query was on her lips, but remained unspoken....

Augusta Maturity spent a tortured, sleepless night, overwhelmed by many emotions: self-blame, realizing now that she was wrong for not telling Brooks Insall about the girl's secret; sadness and sympathy for him; affection for the girl, despite the pain she had caused; and an unusual rebellion against a world that robbed her of this precious human connection that she had longed for—the first since her husband and child were gone. And she felt responsible for Insall's unhappiness—when she remembered with a jolt her innocent comments that Janet was the kind of woman he, as an artist, should marry! And it was true—if he had to marry. He had seen it himself. Did Janet love him? Or did she still think about Ditmar? Again and again, throughout the summer that followed, this question was on her mind, but it remained unspoken....

The next day Insall disappeared. No one knew where he had gone, but his friends in Silliston believed he had been seized by one of his sudden, capricious fancies for wandering. For many months his name was not mentioned between Augusta Maturity and Janet. By the middle of June they had gone to Canada....

The next day, Insall vanished. No one knew where he had gone, but his friends in Silliston thought he had been taken by one of his sudden, unpredictable urges to roam. For many months, his name wasn’t mentioned between Augusta Maturity and Janet. By mid-June, they had gone to Canada....

In order to reach the camp on Lac du Sablier from the tiny railroad station at Saint Hubert, a trip of some eight miles up the decharge was necessary. The day had been when Augusta Maturity had done her share of paddling and poling, with an habitant guide in the bow. She had foreseen all the needs of this occasion, warm clothes for Janet, who was wrapped in blankets and placed on cushions in the middle of a canoe, while she herself followed in a second, from time to time exclaiming, in a reassuring voice, that one had nothing to fear in the hands of Delphin and Herve, whom she had known intimately for more than twenty years. It was indeed a wonderful, exciting, and at moments seemingly perilous journey up the forested aisle of the river: at sight of the first roaring reach of rapids Janet held her breath—so incredible did it appear that any human power could impel and guide a boat up the white stairway between the boulders! Was it not courting destruction? Yet she felt a strange, wild delight in the sense of danger, of amazement at the woodsman's eye that found and followed the crystal paths through the waste of foam.... There were long, quiet stretches, hemmed in by alders, where the canoes, dodging the fallen trees, glided through the still water... No such silent, exhilarating motion Janet had ever known. Even the dipping paddles made no noise, though sometimes there was a gurgle, as though a fish had broken the water behind them; sometimes, in the shining pools ahead, she saw the trout leap out. At every startling flop Delphin would exclaim: “Un gros!” From an upper branch of a spruce a kingfisher darted like an arrow into the water, making a splash like a falling stone. Once, after they had passed through the breach of a beaver dam, Herve nodded his head toward a mound of twigs by the bank and muttered something. Augusta Maturin laughed.

To get to the camp at Lac du Sablier from the small train station at Saint Hubert, they had to make an eight-mile trip up the discharge. There was a time when Augusta Maturin had helped paddle and pole, with a local guide in the front of the canoe. She had anticipated all the necessities for this trip, including warm clothes for Janet, who was bundled in blankets and settled on cushions in the middle of a canoe, while Augusta followed in another one, occasionally reassuring Janet that there was nothing to worry about with Delphin and Herve, whom she had known personally for over twenty years. It truly was a wonderful, thrilling, and at times seemingly risky journey up the forested river: the moment they reached the first roaring section of rapids, Janet held her breath—how could any human force propel and steer a boat up the white staircase between the rocks? Wasn’t that tempting disaster? Yet, she felt a strange, wild excitement in the sense of danger, amazed by the woodsman's ability to find and navigate the crystal-clear paths through the frothy chaos.... There were long, serene stretches bordered by alders, where the canoes, avoiding fallen trees, glided through the calm waters... Janet had never experienced such silent, exhilarating movement. Even the paddles dipping in the water were quiet, though sometimes there was a splash, as if a fish had jumped behind them; occasionally, in the shimmering pools ahead, she spotted trout leaping out. With every surprising splash, Delphin would exclaim: “Un gros!” A kingfisher shot down from a high spruce branch like an arrow into the water, causing a splash like a falling rock. Once, after they passed through a gap in a beaver dam, Herve nodded toward a pile of twigs by the bank and muttered something. Augusta Maturin laughed.

“Cabane de castor, he says—a beaver cabin. And the beavers made the dam we just passed. Did you notice, Janet, how beautifully clean those logs had been cut by their sharp teeth?”

“Beaver cabin,” he says. “And the beavers made the dam we just passed. Did you notice, Janet, how cleanly those logs were cut by their sharp teeth?”

At moments she conversed rapidly with Delphin in the same patois Janet had heard on the streets of Hampton. How long ago that seemed!

At times she talked quickly with Delphin in the same dialect Janet had heard on the streets of Hampton. How long ago that felt!

On two occasions, when the falls were sheer, they had to disembark and walk along little portages through the green raspberry bushes. The prints of great hooves in the black silt betrayed where wild animals had paused to drink. They stopped for lunch on a warm rock beside a singing waterfall, and at last they turned an elbow in the stream and with suddenly widened vision beheld the lake's sapphire expanse and the distant circle of hills. “Les montagnes,” Herve called them as he flung out his pipe, and this Janet could translate for herself. Eastward they lay lucent in the afternoon light; westward, behind the generous log camp standing on a natural terrace above the landing, they were in shadow. Here indeed seemed peace, if remoteness, if nature herself might bestow it.

On two occasions, when the waterfalls were steep, they had to get off and walk along small paths through the green raspberry bushes. The prints of large hooves in the dark silt showed where wild animals had stopped to drink. They took a break for lunch on a warm rock next to a bubbling waterfall, and finally, they turned a bend in the stream and suddenly saw the wide expanse of the lake's sapphire water and the distant circle of hills. “Les montagnes,” Herve called them as he tossed out his pipe, and Janet could translate that for herself. To the east, they shone in the afternoon light; to the west, behind the spacious log cabin perched on a natural terrace above the landing, they were in shadow. Here, indeed, peace seemed to exist, if solitude, that nature herself might offer.

Janet little suspected that special preparations had been made for her comfort. Early in April, while the wilderness was still in the grip of winter, Delphin had been summoned from a far-away lumber camp to Saint Hubert, where several packing-cases and two rolls of lead pipe from Montreal lay in a shed beside the railroad siding. He had superintended the transportation of these, on dog sledges, up the frozen decharge, accompanied on his last trip by a plumber of sorts from Beaupre, thirty miles down the line; and between them they had improvised a bathroom, and attached a boiler to the range! Only a week before the arrival of Madame the spring on the hillside above the camp had been tapped, and the pipe laid securely underground. Besides this unheard-of luxury for the Lac du Sablier there were iron beds and mattresses and little wood stoves to go in the four bedrooms, which were more securely chinked with moss. The traditions of that camp had been hospitable. In Professor Wishart's day many guests had come and gone, or pitched their tents nearby; and Augusta Maturin, until this summer, had rarely been here alone, although she had no fears of the wilderness, and Delphin brought his daughter Delphine to do the housework and cooking. The land for miles round about was owned by a Toronto capitalist who had been a friend of her father, and who could afford as a hobby the sparing of the forest. By his permission a few sportsmen came to fish or shoot, and occasionally their campfires could be seen across the water, starlike glows in the darkness of the night, at morning and evening little blue threads of smoke that rose against the forest; “bocane,” Delphin called it, and Janet found a sweet, strange magic in these words of the pioneer.

Janet hardly suspected that special preparations had been made for her comfort. Early in April, while the wilderness was still under winter's grip, Delphin had been called from a distant logging camp to Saint Hubert, where several packing crates and two rolls of lead pipe from Montreal sat in a shed beside the railroad siding. He had overseen the transport of these on dog sledges up the frozen decharge, accompanied on his last trip by a makeshift plumber from Beaupre, thirty miles down the line; together, they had improvised a bathroom and hooked up a boiler to the range! Just a week before Madame's arrival, the spring on the hillside above the camp had been tapped, and the pipe securely laid underground. Besides this unbelievable luxury for Lac du Sablier, there were iron beds and mattresses and small wood stoves for the four bedrooms, which were better chinked with moss. The camp had a history of hospitality. During Professor Wishart's time, many guests had come and gone, or set up tents nearby; and Augusta Maturin had rarely been here alone until this summer, even though she had no fears about the wilderness. Delphin brought his daughter Delphine to handle housework and cooking. The land for miles around was owned by a Toronto businessman who had been a friend of her father and could afford to indulge in preserving the forest as a hobby. With his permission, a few sportsmen came to fish or hunt, and occasionally their campfires could be spotted across the water, glowing like stars in the night darkness, with little blue wisps of smoke rising against the forest in the morning and evening; "bocane," Delphin called it, and Janet found a sweet, strange magic in these words from the pioneer.

The lake was a large one, shaped like an hourglass, as its name implied, and Augusta Maturin sometimes paddled Janet through the wide, shallow channel to the northern end, even as she had once paddled Gifford. Her genius was for the helpless. One day, when the waters were high, and the portages could be dispensed with, they made an excursion through the Riviere des Peres to the lake of that name, the next in the chain above. For luncheon they ate the trout Augusta caught; and in the afternoon, when they returned to the mouth of the outlet, Herve, softly checking the canoe with his paddle, whispered the word “Arignal!” Thigh deep in the lush grasses of the swamp was an animal with a huge grey head, like a donkey's, staring foolishly in their direction—a cow moose. With a tremendous commotion that awoke echoes in the forest she tore herself from the mud and disappeared, followed by her panic-stricken offspring, a caricature of herself....

The lake was large, shaped like an hourglass, just as its name suggested, and Augusta Maturin sometimes paddled Janet through the wide, shallow channel to the northern end, just like she had once paddled Gifford. She had a knack for helping the helpless. One day, when the water levels were high and they could skip the portages, they took a trip through the Riviere des Peres to the lake of the same name, which was next in the chain above. For lunch, they ate the trout Augusta caught; in the afternoon, as they returned to the mouth of the outlet, Herve gently slowed the canoe with his paddle and whispered, “Moose!” Half-submerged in the thick grasses of the swamp was an animal with a huge grey head, resembling a donkey’s, staring blankly at them—a cow moose. With a huge ruckus that echoed through the forest, she pulled herself from the mud and disappeared, followed closely by her terrified calf, a cartoonish version of herself....

By September the purple fireweed that springs up beside old camps, and in the bois brute, had bloomed and scattered its myriad, impalpable thistledowns over crystal floors. Autumn came to the Laurentians. In the morning the lake lay like a quicksilver pool under the rising mists, through which the sun struck blinding flashes of light. A little later, when the veil had lifted, it became a mirror for the hills and crags, the blue reaches of the sky. The stinging air was spiced with balsam. Revealed was the incredible brilliance of another day,—the arsenic-green of the spruce, the red and gold of the maples, the yellow of the alders bathing in the shallows, of the birches, whose white limbs could be seen gleaming in the twilight of the thickets. Early, too early, the sun fell down behind the serrated forest-edge of the western hill, a ball of orange fire.... One evening Delphin and Herve, followed by two other canoes, paddled up to the landing. New visitors had arrived, Dr. McLeod, who had long been an intimate of the Wishart family, and with him a buxom, fresh-complexioned Canadian woman, a trained nurse whom he had brought from Toronto.

By September, the purple fireweed that pops up next to old camps and in the dense woods had bloomed and spread its countless, barely-there thistledowns across the clear ground. Autumn arrived in the Laurentians. In the morning, the lake lay like a pool of quicksilver under the rising mist, with sunlight piercing through and creating blinding flashes of light. A little later, as the mist cleared, it transformed into a mirror for the hills, crags, and the expansive blue sky. The crisp air was infused with the scent of balsam. The astonishing vibrance of another day was revealed—the bright green of the spruce, the red and gold of the maples, the yellow of the alders in the shallows, and the birches, whose white branches shimmered in the twilight of the thickets. Too early, the sun sank behind the jagged edge of the western forest, a ball of orange fire... One evening, Delphin and Herve, followed by two other canoes, paddled up to the landing. New guests had arrived: Dr. McLeod, who had long been close with the Wishart family, along with a healthy-looking Canadian woman, a trained nurse he had brought from Toronto.

There, in nature's wilderness, Janet knew the supreme experience of women, the agony, the renewal and joy symbolic of nature herself. When the child was bathed and dressed in the clothes Augusta Maturin herself had made for it, she brought it into the room to the mother.

There, in the wilds of nature, Janet experienced the ultimate journey of womanhood—the pain, the rebirth, and the joy that reflected nature itself. After the child was bathed and dressed in the clothes that Augusta Maturin had made for it, she brought it into the room to the mother.

“It's a daughter,” she announced.

“It's a girl,” she announced.

Janet regarded the child wistfully. “I hoped it would be a boy,” she said. “He would have had—a better chance.” But she raised her arms, and the child was laid in the bed beside her.

Janet looked at the child with a touch of sadness. “I thought it would be a boy,” she said. “He would have had a better chance.” But she lifted her arms, and the child was placed in the bed next to her.

“We'll see that she has a chance, my dear,” Augusta Maturin replied, as she kissed her.

"We'll make sure she gets a chance, my dear," Augusta Maturin replied, as she kissed her.

Ten days went by, Dr. McLeod lingered at Lac du Sablier, and Janet was still in bed. Even in this life-giving air she did not seem to grow stronger. Sometimes, when the child was sleeping in its basket on the sunny porch, Mrs. Maturin read to her; but often when she was supposed to rest, she lay gazing out of the open window into silver space listening to the mocking laughter of the loons, watching the ducks flying across the sky; or, as evening drew on, marking in the waters a steely angle that grew and grew—the wake of a beaver swimming homeward in the twilight. In the cold nights the timbers cracked to the frost, she heard the owls calling to one another from the fastnesses of the forest, and thought of life's inscrutable mystery. Then the child would be brought to her. It was a strange, unimagined happiness she knew when she felt it clutching at her breasts, at her heart, a happiness not unmixed with yearning, with sadness as she pressed it to her. Why could it not remain there always, to comfort her, to be nearer her than any living thing? Reluctantly she gave it back to the nurse, wistfully her eyes followed it....

Ten days passed, Dr. McLeod stayed at Lac du Sablier, and Janet was still in bed. Even in this life-giving air, she didn’t seem to get stronger. Sometimes, when the baby was sleeping in its basket on the sunny porch, Mrs. Maturin read to her; but often when she was supposed to rest, she lay gazing out of the open window into the shimmering distance, listening to the mocking laughter of the loons and watching the ducks flying across the sky; or, as evening approached, she would see the growing steely wake of a beaver swimming home in the twilight. On the cold nights, the wood cracked from the frost, and she heard the owls calling to each other from the depths of the forest, pondering life’s mysterious nature. Then the baby would be brought to her. It was a strange, unreal happiness she felt when she had it clinging to her chest, to her heart, a happiness mixed with longing and sadness as she held it close. Why couldn’t it stay there forever, to comfort her, to be nearer than anything else? Reluctantly, she handed it back to the nurse, her eyes following it wistfully...

Twice a week, now, Delphin and Herve made the journey to Saint Hubert, and one evening, after Janet had watched them paddling across the little bay that separated the camp from the outlet's mouth, Mrs. Maturin appeared, with an envelope in her hand.

Twice a week, Delphin and Herve now traveled to Saint Hubert, and one evening, after Janet had seen them paddling across the small bay that separated the camp from the outlet's mouth, Mrs. Maturin showed up with an envelope in her hand.

“I've got a letter from Brooks Insall, Janet,” she said, with a well-disguised effort to speak naturally. “It's not the first one he's sent me, but I haven't mentioned the others. He's in Silliston—and I wrote him about the daughter.”

"I received a letter from Brooks Insall, Janet," she said, making a noticeable effort to sound casual. "It's not the first one he's sent me, but I haven't brought up the others. He's in Silliston—and I wrote to him about the daughter."

“Yes,” said Janet.

“Yes,” Janet said.

“Well—he wants to come up here, to see you, before we go away. He asks me to telegraph your permission.”

“Well, he wants to come up here to see you before we leave. He asked me to send a telegram asking for your permission.”

“Oh no, he mustn't, Mrs. Maturin!”

“Oh no, he shouldn’t, Mrs. Maturin!”

“You don't care to see him?”

“You don't want to see him?”

“It isn't that. I'd like to see him if things had been different. But now that I've disappointed him—hurt him, I couldn't stand it. I know it's only his kindness.”

“It’s not that. I would have liked to see him if things had been different. But now that I’ve let him down—hurt him, I can’t handle it. I know it’s just his kindness.”

After a moment Augusta Maturin handed Janet a sealed envelope she held in her hand.

After a moment, Augusta Maturin handed Janet a sealed envelope she had in her hand.

“He asked me to give you this,” she said, and left the room. Janet read it, and let it fall on the bedspread, where it was still lying when her friend returned and began tidying the room. From the direction of the guide's cabin, on the point, came the sounds of talk and laughter, broken by snatches of habitant songs. Augusta Maturin smiled. She pretended not to notice the tears in Janet's eyes, and strove to keep back her own.

“He asked me to give you this,” she said, and left the room. Janet read it and let it drop onto the bedspread, where it remained when her friend came back and started tidying the room. From the direction of the guide's cabin at the point, sounds of conversation and laughter floated in, mixed with bits of local songs. Augusta Maturin smiled. She pretended not to see the tears in Janet's eyes and tried to hold back her own.

“Delphin and Herve saw a moose in the decharge,” she explained. “Of course it was a big one, it always is! They're telling the doctor about it.”

“Delphin and Herve saw a moose in the drainage,” she explained. “Of course, it was a big one, it always is! They're telling the doctor about it.”

“Mrs. Maturin,” said Janet, “I'd like to talk to you. I think I ought to tell you what Mr. Insall says.”

“Mrs. Maturin,” Janet said, “I’d like to talk to you. I think I should tell you what Mr. Insall is saying.”

“Yes, my dear,” her friend replied, a little faintly, sitting down on the bed.

“Yes, my dear,” her friend replied, a bit weakly, sitting down on the bed.

“He asks me to believe what—I've done makes no difference to him. Of course he doesn't put it in so many words, but he says he doesn't care anything about conventions,” Janet continued slowly. “What I told him when he asked me to marry him in Silliston was a shock to him, it was so—so unexpected. He went away, to Maine, but as soon as he began to think it all over he wanted to come and tell me that he loved me in spite of it, but he felt he couldn't, under the circumstances, that he had to wait until—now. Although I didn't give him any explanation, he wants me to know that he trusts me, he understands—it's because, he says, I am what I am. He still wishes to marry me, to take care of me and the child. We could live in California, at first—he's always been anxious to go there, he says.”

“He asks me to believe that what I’ve done doesn’t matter to him. Of course, he doesn’t say it outright, but he claims he doesn’t care about conventions,” Janet continued slowly. “What I told him when he asked me to marry him in Silliston shocked him; it was so—so unexpected. He left for Maine, but as soon as he started to think it over, he wanted to come back and tell me that he loved me despite everything, but he felt he couldn’t under the circumstances, that he had to wait until—now. Although I didn’t give him any explanation, he wants me to know that he trusts me, he understands—it's because, he says, I am who I am. He still wants to marry me and take care of me and the child. We could live in California at first—he’s always wanted to go there, he says.”

“Well, my dear?” Augusta Maturin forced herself to say at last.

“Well, my dear?” Augusta Maturin finally managed to say.

“It's so generous—so like him!” Janet exclaimed. “But of course I couldn't accept such a sacrifice, even if—” She paused. “Oh, it's made me so sad all summer to think that he's unhappy because of me!”

“It's so generous—so like him!” Janet said. “But of course I couldn't accept such a sacrifice, even if—” She paused. “Oh, it's made me so sad all summer thinking that he's unhappy because of me!”

“I know, Janet, but you should realize, as I told you in Silliston, that it isn't by any deliberate act of your own, it's just one of those things that occur in this world and that can't be foreseen or avoided.” Augusta Maturin spoke with an effort. In spite of Janet's apparent calm, she had never been more acutely aware of the girl's inner suffering.

“I know, Janet, but you need to understand, like I mentioned in Silliston, that this isn't a result of anything you did intentionally; it's just one of those things that happen in this world that can't be predicted or avoided.” Augusta Maturin spoke with effort. Despite Janet's calm exterior, Augusta had never been more aware of the girl's inner pain.

“I know,” said Janet. “But it's terrible to think that those things we unintentionally do, perhaps because of faults we have previously committed, should have the same effect as acts that are intentional.”

“I know,” said Janet. “But it's awful to think that things we do unintentionally, maybe because of mistakes we've made before, should have the same impact as actions that are deliberate.”

“The world is very stupid. All suffering, I think, is brought about by stupidity. If we only could learn to look at ourselves as we are! It's a stupid, unenlightened society that metes out most of our punishments and usually demands a senseless expiation.” Augusta Maturin waited, and presently Janet spoke again.

“The world is really foolish. I believe all suffering comes from stupidity. If only we could learn to see ourselves as we truly are! It’s a foolish, unenlightened society that hands out most of our punishments and often insists on pointless atonement.” Augusta Maturin waited, and soon Janet spoke again.

“I've been thinking all summer, Mrs. Maturin. There was so much I wanted to talk about with you, but I wanted to be sure of myself first. And now, since the baby came, and I know I'm not going to get well, I seem to see things much more clearly.”

“I've been thinking about this all summer, Mrs. Maturin. There’s a lot I wanted to discuss with you, but I wanted to feel confident first. And now, with the baby here, and knowing I’m not going to get better, it’s like I see things much more clearly.”

“Why do you say you're not going to get well, Janet? In this air, and with the child to live for!”

“Why do you say you’re not going to get better, Janet? With this environment and the child to live for!”

“I know it. Dr. McLeod knows it, or he wouldn't be staying here, and you've both been too kind to tell me. You've been so kind, Mrs. Maturin—I can't talk about it. But I'm sure I'm going to die, I've really known it ever since we left Silliston. Something's gone out of me, the thing that drove me, that made me want to live—I can't express what I mean any other way. Perhaps it's this child, the new life—perhaps I've just been broken, I don't know. You did your best to mend me, and that's one thing that makes me sad. And the thought of Mr. Insall's another. In some ways it would have been worse to live—I couldn't have ruined his life. And even if things had been different, I hadn't come to love him, in that way—it's queer, because he's such a wonderful person. I'd like to live for the child, if only I had the strength, the will left in me—but that's gone. And maybe I could save her from—what I've been through.”

“I know it. Dr. McLeod knows it, or he wouldn't be staying here, and you both have been too kind to tell me. You've been so kind, Mrs. Maturin—I can't talk about it. But I'm sure I'm going to die; I've really known it ever since we left Silliston. Something's gone out of me, the thing that drove me, that made me want to live—I can't express it any other way. Maybe it's this child, the new life—maybe I've just been broken, I don't know. You did your best to mend me, and that's one thing that makes me sad. And the thought of Mr. Insall is another. In some ways, it would have been worse to live—I couldn't have ruined his life. And even if things had been different, I hadn't come to love him like that—it's strange because he's such a wonderful person. I'd like to live for the child, if I only had the strength, the will left in me—but that's gone. And maybe I could save her from—what I've been through.”

Augusta Maturin took Janet's hand in hers.

Augusta Maturin took Janet's hand in hers.

“Janet,” she said, “I've been a lonely woman, as you know, with nothing to look forward to. I've always wanted a child since my little Edith went. I wanted you, my dear, I want your child, your daughter—as I want nothing else in the world. I will take her, I will try to bring her up in the light, and Brooks Insall will help me....”

“Janet,” she said, “I've been a lonely woman, as you know, with nothing to look forward to. I've always wanted a child since my little Edith passed away. I wanted you, my dear, I want your child, your daughter—as I want nothing else in the world. I will take her, I will try to raise her right, and Brooks Insall will help me....”

PG EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:

PG EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:

   Anger and revolt against a life so precarious and sordid
   But when you get to a point where private affairs become a public menace
   Exorbitant price for joys otherwise more reasonably to be obtained
   Foreigners. I never could see why the government lets 'em all come
   Hitherto he had held rigidly to that relativity
   Janet resented that pity
   Love is nothing but attraction between the sexes
   Mercifully, however, she had little leisure to reflect
   Perhaps she feared to break the charm of that memory
   She resented being prayed for
   Struggled against her woman's desire to give
   Tested the limits of Janet's ingenuity and powers of resistance
   The seventh commandment was only relative
   There had been something sorrowful in that kiss
   Too much reason in the world, too little impulse and feeling
   Anger and rebellion against a life that's so unstable and grim  
   But when you reach a point where personal issues become a public threat  
   An outrageous cost for joys that could be obtained more reasonably  
   Foreigners. I’ve never understood why the government allows so many to come  
   Up until now, he had strictly adhered to that relativity  
   Janet felt resentment towards that pity  
   Love is just attraction between the sexes  
   Thankfully, she had little time to think  
   Maybe she feared breaking the spell of that memory  
   She didn't like being prayed for  
   Struggled against her instinct as a woman to give  
   Pushed the limits of Janet's creativity and ability to resist  
   The seventh commandment was only relative  
   There was something sad in that kiss  
   Too much logic in the world, not enough impulse and emotion  











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